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Description
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ToC On the Cover: Alexandra Edison [The L Word's Dylan]; The Open Road by Beth Schwartzapfel (p26); Alexandra Hedison by Laurie K. Schenden (p44); Transgender 101 (p52); Lesbians in Hollywood: Actor Heather Matarazzo by Shauna Swartz (p31); Filmmaker Cherien Dabis by Tracy E. Gilchrist (p33); Reality TV maven Brooke Thompson by Catherine Plato (p34); Rocker Nancy Rancourt by Renée Westbrook (p34); Comic Michele Balan by Laurie K. Schenden (p35); Actor Carlease Burke by Laurie K. Schenden (p36); Sexpot Gretchen Mol by Laurie K. Schenden (p38); Filmaker Maria Maggenti by John Esther (p40); MadCat film festival's Ariella Ben-Dov and Rebbeca McBride by Laura K. Cucullu (p41); Power Broker Roberta Munroe by Laurie K. Schenden (p42); Scenesters Nikki Weiss and Carole Antouri by Dana Kaye (p43); Cover Photo by Brie Childers.
See all items with this value
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issue
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7
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Date Issued
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September 2006
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol16_No7_September-2006_OCR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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o
7447 0 8053 9
7
FranklySpeaking
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
Dylan's Got a New Gig
1550 Bryant Street, Suite 510
San Francisco,California94103
Phone 415-863-6538 Facsimile415-863-1609
AdvertisingSales 415-863-6538 or 212-446-6700
Subscription Inquiries818-760-8983
Advertising E-mail advertising@curvemag.com
EditorialE-mail editor@curvemag.com
Letters to the Editor E-mail letters@curvemag.com
Her character on The l Word
broke my heart wren she
Publisher/Editorin Chief
ExecutiveEditor
Associate Editor
Book Review Editor
Music Review Editor
Contributing Editors
betrayed Helena. But she left
riany lesbians wanting more.
So now I'm looking forward
to seeing the real Alexandra
Hedison in front of the camera
Frances
A
lexandra Hedison's
Publisher/Editor
Stevens
in Chief
The L Word.
character, Dylan, broke my heart when she betrayed Helena on
Easy on the eyes, this real-life lesbian left so many fans wanting
more, even after her sordid depar-
ture from the show. Before her role ( or should we say roll~) as Dylan,
Hedison
ftom acting, pursuing
photographer.
her career behind
the camera as a professional
took a five-year break
Now, Hedison's
acting career has been rejuvenated.
You probably
Hedison
won't see her again on
The L Word; Dylan's
burned too many bridges for that ( though
doesn't rule it out). Instead, you can check Hedison
in front of the camera as host of the new reality design show
interior
out again as she embarks on her new gig
DesigningBlind on
design show where her co-host is a blind gay man, Hedison
herself in front of the camera. Which,
conscientious,
inquisitive,
says celebrity journalist
DeGeneres
and what's truly important
ward to seeing the
Laurie
A&E.
In this quirky
admits that she's able to truly be
K. Shenden, is "funny, a bit goofy,
stylish and beautiful:'
In the cover story (page 44), Hedison
realAlexandra
speaks openly
to her now.
Hedison
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
about her new show, her breakup
with
Ellen
I don't know about you, but I'm really looking for-
in front of the camera.
Frances Stevens
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Malinda Lo
Rachel Pepper
Margaret Coble
Julia Bloch, Victoria A.
Brownworth, Gretchen Lee,
Sarah Warn
Copy Chief Laura K. Cucullu
Proofreaders Jaclyn Barcewski, Emmie Q.
Lam, Laurie Werbner,
Jocelyn Voo
EditorialAssistants Kathryn Papanek,
Amanda Poulsen
Art Director Kas Neteler
Photography Editor Nathalie Peterson
Production Manager Ondine Kilker
Web Producer Nikki Woelk
Catalog Manager Holly DeMaagd
Advertising Danie Belfield
Sara Jane Keskula
415-863-6538
Rivendell Media
212-242-6863
Marketing Coordinators Amanda Campa,
Bambi Weavil
Marketing Representatives Monica Arana, Tiffany
Luciotti, Catrina McQuerry,
Kirsten Ott
Contributing Writers Jacob Anderson-Minshall,
Kathy Beige, Heather Boemer, Rebecca Chekouras,
Ariane Conrad, Mary E. Cronin, Gina Daggett,
Jo Eager, John Esther, Ellen Rosner Feig, Michele
Fisher, Tracy E. Gilchrist, Melissa Hart, Sheryl
Kay, Dana Kaye, Sonja Elen Kisa, Char1ene
Lichtenstein, Kar1ynLatney, Janel M. Lynch, Page
McBee, Catherine Plato, Ariane Resnick, Laurie
K. Schenden, Beth Schwartzapfel, Jenny Sherwin,
Allison Steinberg, Shauna Swartz, Zak Szymanski,
Renee Westbrook, Andy Wright
Contributing Illustrator Katherine Streeter
On another note, some of you might question
issues. With
why CURVE,
so many of our lesbian sisters transitioning,
as they relate to the lesbian community.
trans son, to understanding
a lesbian magazine, is covering transgender
we knew it was important
From one mother's journey
the etiquette
of interacting
with
as her dyke daughter
transgender
about this section than any we've published
becomes her
people, to profiles of some
trans artists and activists, this special section is meant to challenge, entertain
incites debate and dialogue, we'll be happy.
to cover trans issues
and educate you and
if it
ContributingPhotographersBrie Childers, Joey Chung,
Lydia Daniller, Robert Keleti, Sharon Kerr, Christine
Lecompte-Mahoney, Sue McDonald, Franklin
McMahon, Michael Murphy, Barbara Passolt,
Beatrice Queral, Elisa Shea, Elisa Shebaro, John
Shearer, Larry Utley
In fact, I'm sure that we will receive more letters to the editor
all year. We look forward
to hearing from you.
1/oiune 16 Issue 7 CuM> (ISSN 1087-867)() is pu~ished monthly (except f0<
Jar/Jar/ and July) by Outspoken Enterpnses, Ire., 1550 B,yant St., Ste. 510,
San Franasco, CA 94103. Subscnpt,on pnce: $31.60/year, $43.60 Ganadian
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94114 and al addil,onal maiing offices (USPS 0010-355) Contents of CuM>
Magazine may not be reproduced in any mamer, either' whole or in p.n, without
wntten permission from the pooltsher.Publcation of the name
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of arr; persons
organaations appein,g, act,ert,srg
isling n CuM> may
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group unless specificalty stated. Curve wek:omes letters, q.,eries, unsolicited
manuscripts andartwori<.lncWe SASE f0<response. Lack of arr; representation
only signifies insufficient matenals. Submissions cannot be returned unless a
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l[i!,!i_ Keyword: Curvemag Web site: curvemag.com
2
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Features
fQ.
::;
"'
ii
"Really,
everything
I've been
doing,
especiallyin
the last
coupleof
years - it's
just likeI'm
followingmy
instinctson
everything.
The show
is ultimately
about
following
your
instincts."
September 2006
26
The Open Rhode Life in Providence, R.I., has
never looked so sweet. By Beth Schwartzapfel
Comic Michele Balan This funny girl took Last
Comic Standing by storm. By Laurie K. Schenden
44
Alexandra Hedison She was the bad girl
who broke Helena's heart, but this openly gay
Hollywood hottie gets to show her softer side on
television now. By Laurie K. Schenden
Actor Carlease Burke One of television's hardest working lesbians finally gets her due.
By Laurie K. Schenden
52
Transgender 101 The trans girls and guys we
love, the answers we need and just why the heck
femme is a gender identity.
Bettie Page and now goes bi for Puccini.
Sexpot Gretchen Mol She turned us on with
::J
~
u.
0
page 48
a:
Le
~Cl)
fallen for a man, but this lesbian still knows what
Actor Heather Matarazzo Welcome to the
lesbian dollhouse, Heather. Can't wait to see your
new show. By Shauna Swartz
0
z
s
!!!
w
0
0
I
a:
(if
3'
Filmmaker Cherien Dabis How do you juggle
The L Word and Palestinian life? Ask Dabis.
By Tracy E. Gilchrist
3
Reality TV maven Brooke Thompson Why
would a lesbian kiss Flavor Flav on 1V? Pumpkin
knows. By Catherine Plato
~
a:
::J
!!l.
0
a:
makes two girls fall in love. By John Esther
4
MadCat film festival's Ariella Ben-Dov and
Rebecca McBride Ten years later, the women
behind the famed fest are still going strong.
By Laura K. Cucul/u
Power Broker Roberta Munroe After five years
.ii
w
I
"'
~
~
t
g
0
w
Rocker Nancy Rancourt She could have been
rocking with Tommy Lee. Instead she's dishing
with us. By Renee Westbrook
;i;_
a:
"'
w
0
'i:
(.)
w
ii
By Laurie K. Schenden
Filmmaker Maria Maggenti She may have
0
..J
Volume 16#7
of programming at Sundance, this power player
goes solo in Hollywood. By Laurie K. Schenden
Scenesters Nikki Weiss and Carole Antouri
One is a famed celebrity stylist; the other owns an
acclaimed artist agency. Now they're taking on
Tinseltown together. By Dana Kaye
Cover Photoby
8 ,e Ch der,
Cl)
September 2006
I5
Departments
September 2006
"Youcan be
pickyaboGt
yourprospective
partner'sloo1<s,
morals,finances,
or sexual
orientation,but
you can't be
pickyaboutall
trose things
unlessyou'rea
wealthy,virgir
supermodel.I fa
short1na
categoryor two."
p 1qe
2
8
o
Frankly Speaking Publisher Frances
Stevens tells it like it is.
20 Scene Doria Roberts, Honey Labrador
Contributors Read all about 'em here.
22 Ask Fairy Butch She tells us where to
66
and lots of sexy girls.
Music Watch Margaret Coble takes
on Doria Roberts, KT Tunstall and
Divine MAGees. Plus, Tammy Hall,
Bananarama and 8 Inch Betsy.
find our G-spots.
68 Tech Girl Gadgets and accessories
10 Letters Lesbian atheists, anti-mom
bias and Alix Olson's knickers.
23
Lipstick & Dipstick They talk a
Melissa fanatic away from the edge.
that will bring your kitchen into the
space age.
12 Out in Front Up close and personal
with Miami's Alison Burgos, deaf performer Terry Galloway and activist Rauda
Morcos.
25 Astro Grrl Astrologer Charlene
62
14 Curvatures Gay pets ... Batwoman
goes gay ... Mapping our rights ...
Biology and destiny ... Lily Tomlin ... We
love lyari Limon even more now.
16 Open Studio Jocelyn Nevel makes art
out of your pantyhose.
69
Lichtenstein frets over fall.
64
Sapphic Screen Ellen Rosner Feig
takes us inside Tribeca. Plus, Nan
Kinney, Red Doors and Queer Duck.
In the Stacks Rachel Pepper explores
Hit by a Farm and Ariel Gore's The
Traveling Death and Resurrection Show.
Plus, Kate Braverman and poetry on CD.
Politics Victoria A. Brownworth
reminds us that the Bush administration has a new war: the war on
difference.
ui
:)
:J
w
iii
!!l
70
Dyke Drama Michele Fisher on what
not to say to a woman.
a:
w
:i
2
<(
0
<(
80
Top Ten Reasons We Love
Psychologist and Jay Walker alter-ego
Jeannie "Jae" Sevelius.
i5
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~:t
0
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"7"ke ba../a..f\Ceof
f/a..vof', fe,rfv1re
a.."'-rl.Sfice is
"'-of/,.,i"'-J/e.s.s
f /,.,a.."'.se~tio J,\.a..
/."
- Robert Simon,
Proprietor - Bistro 45,
Los Angeles
"... a.. f~e
_JOIAY"'-e'J
for
f/,.,e .se~~"
- Tim Creehan,
Executive Chef
Beach Walk Restaurant,
Destin, FL
"7"ke ferf ecf
f a..iri"'-! wif/,., 1ov1Y
f t:-vorife wi"'-e."
- Ming Tsai,
East/West Chef
Blue Ginger, Boston
Contributors
•
ti
t
"Blue-eyed soul is one thing, but the diminutive blonde rocking the 2005
San Francisco Drag King Contest as Prince was a whole new rake on
crossover;' says Rebecca
Chekouras,
who interviews showstopping winner
Jeannie "Jae"Sevelius on page 80. "I had become interested in kinging
recently, going to some of the local cabaret;' Chekouras explains, "but this
was my first drag king competition,and I was mesmerized by the level of
artistry: extremely professional. The annual contest is one of the best
shows the LGBT community - particularly the trans community here presents:· Chekouras, who stuffed herself into a black leather, strapless
bustier and screaming pink feather boa for the event, is at work on a novel
set in Palm Springs, The TurquoiseGate,about two dykes who wander in
the desert to escape the disappointment of lives lived too small and who
find more challenges, adventures and bizarre characters than they are
prepared to face. Chekouras lives in the San Francisco Bay area.
Ar the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commissions San
Francisco reception to celebrate Palestinian activist Rauda Morcos (see page
12), throngs of avid fans kept contributor Ariane
Conrad
from sirring down
with the woman of honor for a brief interview."Ir was almost rime for
Morcos to give her speech, and finally I had to bust in on a conversation chat
she and a VIP - who shall remain nameless - were thoroughly engrossed
in. Unforrunarely, said VIP is a major financial contributor to another
project I work with;' Conrad notes. "Luckily,I was wearing a name tag
identifying me as from
CURVE
magazine, and the VIP didrir recognize me:'
When she's nor writing for magazines like CURVE and LiP, Conrad works for
a national philanthropy organization char encourages charitable giving for
srrucrural, systemic change, and builds bridges between activists and
community leaders fighting for socialjustice, donors and funders.
Needto get away?
We havethe perfectplace.
Actually,we have9,000.
"Ir's an amazing experience to spend 10 days inside a movie cheater
watching film afrer film;' says contributor EllenRosner
Feig,who covers the
Tribeca Film Festival in chis issue (see page 62), and realizes that LGBT
filmsare becoming more and more mainstream. "The ambitious nature of
Ourguidesare packedwith
LGBTaccommodations,
bars,
bookstores,
cafes& more,
acrossthe US,Canada,
Europe& beyond.
chis year's Tribeca Film Festival meant that I saw no sunlight for days at a
rime, ate a bus load ofT wizzlers and drank a tub of Dier Coke:' Feig
writes on entertainment copies for numerous outlets including The
HollywoodReporter,Hollywood.com, Skuawk.com and ImposeMagazine.
Her nonfiction book, The Ex Files:Women, Litigationand Liberty,was
published by Adams Media in June 2006.
"As a child of the '60s, I could only dream of a job where you could acrually
party all night long, while helping people at the same time;' says freelance
writer SherylKay,who interviews fundraiser and party planner excraordinaire Alison Burgos in this issue (see page 12).'Tuat's what we thought we
were all about: blasting the music in smoke-filled rooms lit with black lights,
talking about how we were going to feed the poor, help minorities and join
the Peace Corps:'Talking with Burgos made Kay realize the old hippie
rradirions truly live on -
soo/ 462-6654
Callfor a free catalog,
or log on to our onlineservice.
www.d am ro n .com
a I curve
and Kay has been a part of keeping the dream
alive.Three years ago, Kay scarred Tampa Chaverot, the first and only
nonprofit social organization for Jewish lesbians in the southern United
States. When the girls aren't in a coffee klarch, Kay volunteers with another
group along the west coast of Florida, leading dykes deep into palm scrub
forests in the hot new sport of geocaching. When she's not partying it up or
contributing co several magazines and newspapers, Kay spends her rime
running afrer her two awesome kids, Simone and Elijah, and their delicious
Dalmatian, Xena.
Connect in Ontario, Canada.
It's hard to imagine a more gay and lesbian-friendly place than Ontario, Canada. Home to the third largest gay
and lesbian population in the world, Toronto is a mature, laid-back big city of flair and sophistication, generosity and
warmth. Film. Theater. Art. Music. Food. Wine. We've got them all here. And more. Plus a fabulous gay village, alive
with bars and discos, cafes and clubs.
Just over an hour away is the Niagara Region, the location of Niagara Falls and center of
one of the world's most exciting emerging wine regions. Drive the Wine Route,
lunch in a vineyard, then head back to Toronto for an evening of theater, a late
supper in a downtown bistro and a nightcap in a friendly, cosmopolitan bar.
For more information, visit www.ontariotravel.net/GLBT
or call 1-800-ONTARIO.
Letters
'We hate when queers are made invisible,
but it's almost like
vE:made both these
women invisible as mothers. I am rather
disappointed that no one thought to include
these kids in the obits - especially when
one of the women is the founder of
Girl-Mom.com."
My19-year-old
daughter,
KatyFabula,
enjoysyour
Cli
magazine.
Beinggayin a
ruralcommunity
is hard
for her.I thinkmydaughter
is prettyamazing.
Bythe
ageof 17,shewasalready
quiteanaccomplished
singer-songwriter.
..
Unfortunately,
onChristmas
Evein 2004,at age18,Katy
suffered
a severerightfrontal
intracranial
hemorrhage
- in otherwords,a stroke.
Formanydays,Katywasnot
ableto speakor see;she
wouldusesignlanguage
to
r I RP
letusknowshewasOK.She
Love you guys! Just got my new issue (Vol. 16, #5) and I do
evenmadejokesthroughthis
appreciate all the extra info and goodies. Just a comment
terribletragedy.
Now,Katyis
though: I found the font is different and/ or smaller. It was a
back.Initially,
hervoicewas
a littleweak,butnowshe's tad difficult to read at times. Ocher than chat, everything else
performing
evenbetterthan
in the issue is fabulous. Keep up the great work!
beforethestrokeandcom- ]., San Francisco
posingnewmaterial.
I want
to rewardhercourage
and
1
0 Ii• Si
celebrate
herfull recovery.
I wanttheworldto seeand
I was shocked ... co read Sue's letter (Vol. 16, #5) bemoaning
hearwhata wondersheis.
the lack of lesbian atheism magazines or "acknowledgments"
- NancyFabula-Hevey,
in the gay community about LGBT atheists. While I cancerBaltimore,
Md.
tainly understand wanting to be represented as a member of
{heveyn@mdmildep.org)
Ax's U d s
Where can I buy the cute little panties chat Alix Olson is wearing in the June 2006 issue on page 52 ("Couples That Play
Together Seay Together;' Vol. 16, #5)? My friends and I are
having a fierce competition. Who will be the first to get their
hands on a pair of'Tll be your woman or your man"?
-
Tammy, via e-mail
Editor's note: Well, Tammy, we checked with Alix, and, actually,
those cute little briefs are sold by Pamela Means through her Web
site, pamelameans.com. When we told Means that you had asked
how to get your own pair, she assured us, "I'll stock 'em up good!"
a subcommunity, I feel that the LGBT community is signifiI ama 47-year-old
lesbian. cantly more tolerant of atheists than ofLGBT people who are
Ninemonthsago,I became religious. When I came out as a lesbian at 15, I expected to
involved
witha womanI
have a difficult time with people in my Christian community
haveknownsinceI was11.
Maxineis a wonderful
human dealing with my sexuality. What I didn't anticipate was chat the
being- creative,
intelligent, friends I would develop in the LGBT community often would
funnyanda talented
singer, have almost the same amount of difficulty understanding,
songwriter
andmusician. believing or accepting chat I was a Christian.
In2001,shehadsurgery,
Some of these difficulties are well-founded ... but the face
andthoughshehashada
remains
that it was incredibly difficult to be a Christian in alesremarkable
recovery,
shestill
bian community, and I have found chis to be more than simply
hasnumbness
ononeside
of herface,losthearingin
my personal experience. So it frustrates me to hear Sue lamentoneearandstruggles
with
ing the lack of articles about lesbian atheists, or her saying chat
tiredness
andenergylevels.
the lesbian community "never" supports LGBT atheists. I wish
Maxineis astalented
asever,
andheronelifelongdream she would ... consider the ocher side of the picture, to understand the challenges that her religious LGBT peers face.
is to recordhermusicand
beheard.I wouldloveto
- Katherine, Washington, D.C.
helpherfulfillherdreams.
- Francine
Ross,NewYork
Ba.
s o Requ
(music4maxine@aol.com)
I am looking for scholarships for the upcoming 2006-2007
~.ss, g Moms
In the June 2006 issue (Vol. 16, #5), in the obituaries for
Editor'snote:Wow!Tell school year; I will be starting as a first-year medical school
hertogoforit. Talkto dyke student chis fall. Most medical school scholarships that I have
musicians,
go toMichigan found are created specifically for "minority students." Along
Womyn's
MusicFestival
with each scholarship should be a little fine print that says,
and,if youstrugglewith
"minority:
does not include sexual orientation minority, but all
your(dis)abilities
or areover
40,talktolesbianmusic ochers may apply:•Any advice on where a person who is clearly
pioneers
likeBarbGalloway not a minority student by standard scholarship definition can
(gallowayandluckett.com).
find some much-needed money for med school?
When I picked up the June issue of CURVE yesterday, I couldn't
-
10 I curve
Megan Wangh, via e-mail
Allison Crews and Wendy Wasserstein, no mention was made
of the children they left behind. Boch were single mothers who
had children they were extremely devoted to. Ocher important
details of both these women's lives were mentioned, but the
most important to either of chem would have been their children. In both these cases the prominence of their single mother
experience - in Wasserstein's by choice, in Crews' as a result
of a teen pregnancy (and therefore the start of her advocacy)
- should have been the leadoff, and I was so sad to see chat
in neither case was their child even mentioned by name. We
hate when queers are made invisible, but it's almost like CURVE
made both these women invisible as mothers. I am rather disappointed chat no one thought co include these kids in the
obits - especially when one of the women is the founder of
Girl-Mom.com.
-
a
Rachel Pepper, CURVE book review editor
1a
have dreamed of a more amazing, powerful, beautifully written article than what I found inside on me and Fresh Meat
("Queer Poetry in Motion" and "Keepin' le Fresh;' Vol. 16, #5).
Zak articulated my own work, my vision and my work in the
community and Fresh Meat's work, vision and work in the
community so clearly, powerfully and compellingly. And I am
so excited chat these articles will connect my own work, and
Fresh Meat's mission and programs, with gigantic new national
audiences. What a wonderful fifth anniversary (of
Fresh Meat!) gift.
- Sean Dorsey, Artistic Director,
Fresh Meat Productions
finally free to cell people who I really am! I cell you
chis because I was born with a disability: cerebral
palsy. It is a very mild case and has affected only
my lower half. I'm very self-conscious about it and
chink that this is partly the reason I haven't met
I wanted to thank you for featuring me in Out in
Front ("Feminist Firebrand;' Vol. 16, #5). It really
anyone to share my life with yet.
I just read your story on lesbians with disabilities. Thanks for writing it. It helped a lot. Thanks
too for having CURVEmagazine. I guess you could
means a lot to me. I've been interviewed before, but
this is the first time that I'm completely satisfied
with the story and wasn't misquoted. I absolutely
love the piece, especially that the organizations I'm
involved with are named and therefore get cover-
say chat I'm undereducated in the area of making
love to a woman and having her make love to me.
I realized that afrer reading your December issue. I
age, and am so honored that you put me in CURVE. am a subscriber now. I'm just about ready to renew.
It really is one of the best things chat has happened
Keep the magazine coming!
- Wendy E. Smith, via e-mail
to me.
-
have worked with and personally know numerous women who were assaulted by other women.
I was saddened that CURVEprinted an article
chat feeds into the silence lesbian survivors face.
Instead of ignor~ng it, turning a blind eye or denying it, we as a community need to talk about it,
acknowledge that women are not perfect, and get
to work on prevention.
- Carrie Moylan, Saline, Mich.
E-mail letters@curvemag.com; write to CURVE
Letters, 1550 Bryant Sc., Ste. 510, San Francisco,
CA 94103; or fax to 415-863-1609. Please
include your name, city and state. Letters may be
edited for clarity and length.
Miranda Elliot, Chicago
I am a recently out lesbian and feel 100 percent
great about finally coming out. When I came out
to my family, it was an awakening - they all had
already known but didn't say anything to me. I've
lost a lot of friends since coming out - they just
don't understand or they are a bunch of prudes
or something. I'm 43 years old this May and am
I want to thank CURVEfor publishing an article
in the April 2006 issue about the issue of rape
("Fighting Rape on Campus;' Vol. 16, #3). I have
worked in the sexual assault and domestic violence
In the publisher's column, Frankly Speaking, of
our May 2006 issue (Vol. 16, #4) we incorrectly
identified Pandora and Ultra Events; they are
field for years and was proud to see CURVEpaying attention to chis terrifyingly common crime.
However, I also was extremely disappointed to see
that the article implies that all rapists are men. I
sponsors of Aqua Girl and Girls in Wonderland.
Aqua Girl is produced by the Women's
Community Fund of ~iami Beach, Fla. CuRVE
regrets the error. ■
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HAWAII
September 2006
I 11
Party pt,· an '1rop·st
Star of he S age
Some people need an excuse to party. Alison
Burgosmakes a living by partying.
Go to Miami's South Beach any weekend
night, and you'll find Burgos' Pandora and
Ultra Events hosting a lesbian bash at some hot
She's been called dea£ insane, a writer, a performer and a lesbian, but TerryGalloway
truly
nightclub. From the music and entertainment
to the food, drinks and decorations, Burgos
and her business partners create the entire
scene for upward of 500 women each night.
But the real splash Burgos makes is with
her Aqua Girl event, now in its sixth year.
Thousands of women converge on South
bottle glasses and a hideous, radio-sized heating
aid that fit between my boobs like a third one:·
On more than one occasion, she was
marginalized because of her deafness, with
(above right) was recently honored with
the 2006 Felipa de Souza Award from the
International Gay and Lesbian Human
Rights Commission for her work on behalf of
Palestinian and Arab lesbians living in Israel
and the Occupied Territories. Morcos leads
ASWAT (Arabic for"voices"), an advocacy
group based in Haifa, Israel, that provides
meeting space for its members as well as public
education on their behal£
Lesbians in Morcos' homeland face discrimination on three fronts: as women in a male-
Beach for this four-day experience filled with
dancing, live music, comedy performances and
celebrity appearances.
people consistently ignoring her desire to act.
"It royally pissed me off,' Galloway says, but
it was just enough to push her to make things
dominated society, as Palestinians living under
Israeli rule and as lesbians in a culture where
And the best part2 Every penny generated at Aqua Girl goes to the Women's
Community Fund, a nonprofit organization
founded by Burgos in 1999 that raises funds
for a wide variety of women's groups and
charities in south Florida. Last year alone,
happen on her own.
She co-founded a cabaret in Austin, Texas,
the consequences for expressing their sexuality
are ofren severe. Afrer Morcos mentioned her
started writing and performing in her own
shows, and landed gigs at WOW, the New
York women's theater collective, and P.S. 122, a
multidisciplinary art center also in New York.
"Not a bad trade-off if you don't mind eschewing money, fame, power and influence;• she says.
orientation in a newspaper interview, her car
windows were smashed, she received threats,
and she lost her job as a teacher.
At the IGLHRC award reception in San
Francisco last May, Morcos insisted that all
the women of ASWAT shared the honor
Despite the lack of money and power,
Galloway's influence on queer theater and
on theater for the disabled has been profound. She has performed everything from
with her: ''An organization is meaningless
without all the people who make it up:'
Morcos said she feels disappointed that
the global LGBT community has not connec-
Shakespeare to her own highly acclaimed drag
act as Jake Rarchett, Shorr Detective. Now
she produces queer theater in Tallahassee,
Fla., with her partner, Donna Nudd, and the
Mickee Faust Club, which they co-founded.
ted to the struggles of other oppressed minorities. She called on the LGBT community in
the United States to put more pressure on
Aqua Girl raised $86,000 for the Women's
Community Fund.
'"This is about women having a seat at the
table;• Burgos says. "Now we have our own
organizations for our own specific needs:
health issues, political needs, equal rights
issues:' Organizations that have benefited
from the Women's Community Fund include
the Maumer Project and the Miami Gay and
Lesbian Film Festival.
Some wonder why Burgos spends so
much of her time working charity events.
Afrer all, it's not like she has endless time on
her hands.
"I love it," she explains. '"This is really my
passion. Once you have a great experience
making a difference in someone's life, or in a
community, I don't know how you wouldn't
want to do it all the rime:• - Sheryl Kay
12
defies any attempted labeling.
Born to a mom who had taken antibiotics
that interrupt normal neurological fetal development, Galloway lost her hearing as a child
and experienced terrifying hallucinations. Her
early memories include "being fitted with Coke-
Palestinian poet and activist RaudaMorcos
Icurve
When Galloway looks for meaning in her
work, she says, "I think of myself and all the
other people I've known who have similar
stories about being disregarded, thrown away,
rejected - or, miraculously, rescued by love.
Those are the people whose company I keep,
with whom I work and create. IfI matter, it is
only because they matter, too:• - Sheryl Kay
the government to change racist laws as well
as "to bring an end to the war in Iraq and the
war against Palestine, which your taxes are
basically underwriting:•
She also urged the gay community to "take
a more intentional stance, not just liberal,
and to demand a change from the patriarchal
system in which we live. We need rights as
individuals, not just as married people or as
parents:• - Ariane Conrad
BRID6ESTORE
PASSION
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VISIT THE TIRE EXPERTS WHEREVER YOU SEE THE BRIDGESTONE
"8"
Curvatures
Get Your Ticket to Hell
Good girls gone bad, campy musical theater, an
ambiguously queer boyfriend and a real-life easyon-the-eyes lesbian couple are just a few draws of
One Way Ticket to Hell, writer Drew Taylor's pulpy
GAY PETS ON
PARADE
cautionary tale (in the vein of Reefer Madness) now
making a West Coast debut at the Marilyn Monroe
Theatre in West Hollywood.
Lesbian
authorandformer
The lesbian couple who sings together, stays
Playboy
playmate
Stephanie
together in this production starring Kristen Howe,
Adamswasailoverthe
news,aftershewasalleg- in a part written specifically for her, and real-life
edlyassaulted
byNewYork girlfriend Erin Stoddard. Howe plays Cassandra
policemen.
Butnostrifewas
Leigh, a gal on a wayward path to reefer, heroin
in sightat theRubyfruit
Pet
and eventually an asylum, while Stoddard camps
PridePageant
lastJune,
it up as Cassandra's troublemaking-hooker-withwheresheandLizaMinnelli
a-heart sidekick, Cindy. This over-the-top show
werecelebrity
judgeswho
culls material from the film of the same title and
hada barkinggoodlime.
Thelesbian-owned
Rubyfruit features music by Robert Cioffi and the direction
hostedthefundraiser
forthe
of Richard Hochberg.
Mayor'sAlliance
forNYC's
One Way is rife with homage to 1960s-style
Animals,
whichfeatured
a
musicals and can easily be described as a mix of Grease, The
cutestdogandpetandperRocky Horror Picture Show and Hairspray. Besides playing
sonlook-alike
contests
anda
butch/femme
showdown.
The
Cassandra's bad-girl gal pal, Stoddard morphs into a host
winningpetgotto ridein the
of roles, including a nameless Asian character, a randomly
NewYorkLGBTPrideParade.
Slovakian prison matron and Cassandra's nosy neighbor from
- DianeAnderson-Minshall
across the fence.
"I get to show off some comic chops;• Stoddard admits.
The plot revolves around Cassandra's journey, which includes a
shameful spiral into relationships with the wrong kind of men
- a greaser named Chico and another who "doth protests too
much" about his purported homosexuality - family problems,
her stepfather's questionable morals and, eventually, the needle
and'Junk:'
"She's a good girl gone bad and she never goes good again;•
Howe says.
For Howe and Stoddard, who drove from New York's
Lower East Side to Manhattan Beach, Calif., their cats in tow,
to star in the show, working together is a breeze. Their love
story emulates the plot trajectory of all great American musicals, in which the lead couple sings and dances their way into
each other's hearts. Somewhere between the footlights and the
offstage costume changes five years ago, Howe and Stoddard
discovered that they were in love.
Stoddard, who took her dancing shoes to the stage in the
2001 Broadway revival of 42nd Street, says there's no jealousy
for these lesbian thespians and jokes that there have so far been
no Showgirls-style career-wrecking moments when one of them
tosses marbles at the feet of the other. But what happens onscreen may be a different story. -
Tracy E. Gilchrist
Visit onewaytickettohellthemusical.comfor more information.
Is It a Bird? A Plane? A Lesbian Bat?
Just who is that gorgeous, 5-foot-10-inch redhead in
Latinos, Asians, blind fighters, wheelchair warriors and
the knee-high red boots with spiked heels? Yes, it's true:
Afrer her 27-year hiatus, DC Comics is reintroducing
Batwoman to its legendary lineup of superheroes. And
she's not just coming back. Batwoman is coming out.
This summer, DC Comics announced that Batwoman
more. Some comic book aficionados are guarded about
this recent development, wondering why DC Comics
made such hype about Batwoman's sexuality.
"There's no objection from my corner about featuring
a homosexual as a main character;• says Chuck Dixon,
is being reincarnated as her old alter ego, socialite Kathy
who wrote many of the Batman comics from 1990
Kane. But this time, when the pearls and fine dresses
to 2001. At the same time, he says he hopes the new
Batwoman is "an interesting character with honest emo-
come off and the tight-fitting leather goes on, Kane
becomes a lesbian crime fighter.
While the announcement may have come as a surprise to some, DC Comics has been on the vanguard
of inclusion by featuring women as superheroes for
decades, as well as pushing for African Americans,
14
Icurve
tions and motivations who also happens to be gay, rather
than a lesbian - capital T - Batwoman who is nothing
more than a shallow promotional ploy:'
Until the verdict is unmasked, watch out, Clark. Lois
might be next to join our team. -
Sheryl Kay
cer
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Ohio is off the Map
What does reproductive justice have in common with rights
for the LGBT community~ A lot, according to a recently
formed coalition consisting of the National Gay and Lesbian
Task Force, Sister Song Women of Color Reproductive Health
Collective, and Ipas, an international organization working to
advance women's reproductive and sexual rights. These three
groups collaborated to create Mapping Our Rights, a new interactive online tool chat helps navigate discrimination against
women, men and families, at mappingourrights.org.
"We find in our work chat political opposition to one set of
human rights, such as women's access to contraception and abortion, creates che space for opposition to other kinds of human
rights, such as the rights of LGBT people;• says Loretta Ross,
National Coordinator of SisterSong. "The same constituency is
fighting against all of our rights, but in response to them, weve
historically divided ourselves by separate social justice issues. We
realized we needed to start working together:·
One thing that organizers had lacked was comprehensive,
up-to-date data on different states' stances on sexual and reproductive issues - and so the map was born. Intended as a tool
for researchers, journalists, activists and others, this interactive
U.S. map ranks each state by its policies on issues like abortion,
same-sex partnership and access to birth control and sex education. The most progressive areas in both reproductive and sexual
rights turn out to be New England and the far western seaboard,
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as well as New Mexico; the least hospitable are Ohio, Kentucky,
Indiana, and North and South Dakota. The site also offers some
handy information in each state's snapshot, including doctor-topatient ratio, racial breakdowns and stats on wealth distribution, access to health care, infant mortality rates and more.
Ranked close to last, Louisiana's page includes the story of
Elizabeth and her pregnant 19-year-old daughter, duped by an
anti-choice activist named William Graham, who masqueraded
as a doctor at a 'clinic" with a name confusingly similar to a nearby,
legitimate reproductive healcl1care facility. It wasn't until it was
too late that mother and daughter realized he wasn't for real.
Jason Cianciotta, research director of the National Gay and
Lesbian Task Force Policy Institute, insists, "One thing that the
map effectively accomplishes is to depict how geography affects our civil rights and how same-sex couples are forced to
search out and relocate to places with the most accepting conditions and best protections:· His hope is that the Mapping Our
Rights project will help break down artificial barriers among
Americans. - Ariane Conrad
"The right wing realized that gay marriage was as
emotional an issue for some people as abortion,
and they pushed it forward, and we let them do it.
And then we got suckered into it - and said, 'Oh,
yes, sure, we should be married,' and then we
fell right into their hands.">> Rit~ Mae Brown to
Between the Lines
"Superskinny women really irritate us. We hate when
they say, 'Sometimes I just forget to eat.' Now,
I've forgotten my anniversary and where I parked
my car. But I've never forgotten to eat."
>> Sela Ward to Esquire
"One of the failings of the old feminist movement was
that it didn't make room for homemakers. And
it should have. We've swung back another way
now. There's the whole biology-is-destiny thing.
This is where you say to me, 'Rap on, sister."'
>> Lily Tomlin to Time
"I didn't want to be there. No one banned me from
being there. But I didn't want to stand up and
cheer.">> Mary Cheney to ABC's Primetime
Live on why she refused to attend President
Bush's 2004 State of the Union address, in
which he defended the "sanctity of marriage"
September 2006
I 15
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Jocelyn Nevel
I
ARTIST
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You will never look at underwear
~
the same way again. Artist
Jocelyn Nevel stitches
together feminine garments such as bras and pantyhose to create massive installations that challenge
gender traditions. In her piece Crotches(above), Nevel cut out crotches from pantyhose, stitched
chem together and screeched the fabric in embroidery hoops, creating the unique wall hangings displayed at the Riverside and Hyde Park arts centers. She has constructed a quilt out of bra cups,
scuffed stocking feet to create phallic orbs clustered around the ceiling, and lined entire walls with
black panty liners. Nevel says chat the goal of her work is to challenge the traditions of art and gender
and to create something chat can be seen as both attractive and repulsive. Though she specializes in
these installations, her work ranges from photography to sculpture to performance art. In her series
Hair (left), she scanned clumps of her curly red hair and displayed the images in a grid. "I want my
work to provoke;' she explains. "I want to make people question the surface." - Dana Kaye
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Curvatures
The Other Side of Gay Science
Throughout my teens and into my 20s, I endeavored to be
gay. Children emulate those parents they adore, and I revered
my lesbian mom. Never mind her lectures on how homosexuals have it rough and how she'd be happier if I could save
myself - and her - some grief and just be straight. She was
my idol. In vain, I tried to muster up lust for others of my sex.
"Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club is hot;' I'd tell my
RIGHTS
ADVANCE
ACROSS
EUROPE
mother and her girlfriend. "Don't you think Madonna is a
babe? I do:·
My mother lost custody of me in the late '70s when she
came out as a lesbian. Faced with my attempted interest in the
fairer sex, she panicked. "Actually;•she replied, "I prefer Willie
Nelson."
In high school, much as I would have desired otherwise, my
eye went to the bespectacled yearbook editor - male - rather
than the pretty ingenue in the senior musical. I enrolled in college as a liberal studies major; still, cry as I might, I could not be
gay. Humiliated, I introduced boyfriend after boyfriend to my
mother. I moved in with a man around the time of Matthew
Shepard's murder.
"Good to meet you:· She clasped my new boyfriend's hand
30 percent of his interview subjects are homosexual. The article
abstract concludes chat these findings suggest that parents'
sexual inclinations influence their children's.
Somehow, he forgot co interview most of the queerspawn I
in hers, palpably relieved. "When's the wedding?"
Buoyed by my mom's acceptance of my sexual identity, I
know (yes, we children of gays and lesbians call ourselves queer-.
spawn) who identify as heterosexual. He forgot to interview
made my peace with it, too. If I was straight, then so be it. I
attended PFLAG meetings and marched in Gay Pride parades
- our and proud. This year, I even got married. My mother
me. Apparently, he never spoke with my lesbian friend Wendy,
daughter of a ramrod-straight Baptist preacher. He neglected
co talk with my transsexual friend Caitlin, who grew up with
her conservative grandma and great-grandma in a Phoenix
blessed our wedding site with a prayer for our marriage and its
longevity, and she cried joyful tears postceremony.
But recently, my old mortification has flared up again. The
May 2006 issue of The Journal of BiosocialScience includes
an article citied "Children of Homosexuals and Transsexuals
More Apt co be Homosexual:'
Once more, I have failed.
5
~
tank working to preserve the "traditional" family. He found chat
trailer park.
Do our parents' sexual "inclinations" influence us, as
Cameron's article suggests? Try as I might, I cannot love women
as my mother does. A marriage certificate sics framed on my
mantle, granting my husband and me a wealth of benefits chat
The author of the article, Paul Cameron, bases his research
on interviews with 77 adult children of homosexual parents
are still, unfortunately, denied to same-sex couples.
Still, some of my mother's influence has stuck. I'm
committed to helping those oppressed by fear and hatred.
who volunteered for three investigations. Cameron is chairman
of the Family Research Institute - a Colorado-based think
- Melissa Hart
LastspringtheCzech
Republic
became
thefirst
formerEastern-bloc
country
to legallyrecognize
samesexpartnerships.
Despite
President
VaclavKlaus'veto
of thebill in February,
a
majority
votebymembers
of Parliament
overrode
him.
Thenewlawgivessame-sex
couplestherightto inherita
partner'sproperty
andraise
children,
although
it does
notallowadoption.
Belgium
nowgrantslesbianandgay
couples
thesamerightsto
adoption
asstraightcouples.
Elsewhere
in Europe,
the
Netherlands,
Spain,Sweden,
England
andWalespermit
gaycouples
to adoptchildren.TheDanishgovernment
hasfinallypasseda law
allowinglesbians
access
to artificialinsemination,
a
practicebanned
since1997.
-Ariane Conrad
And maybe that's more important than who is in my bed.
:)
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Snatching Those Awards
.,
'The women around here are not only good listeners,
they also know their way around a snatch! I've never
Mullally also spoke in favor of same-sex marriage
and asked pointedly, "Don't you wish that George
been more relaxed;' quipped openly bisexual Megan
Mullally (right) at the 17th Annual GLAAD Media
Bush would just come out of the closet? Who but
a homo would be that obsessed with homos?"
Awards in San Francisco this June. Hundreds turned
our co celebrate media-makers for their accurate and
sensitive representations of LGBT lives and co, well,
Meanwhile, in her acceptance speech, giggly
Golden Gate Award recipient Jennifer Tilly said,
"GLAAD is an amazing organization. They do
z
~
see what emcee Mullally and curvaceous honoree
Jennifer Tilly would wear. (For the record, Mullally,
who was promoting her new NBC talk show, was
()
breathtaking in low-cue black satin.)
such a great job of standing up and saying, 'This is
not right. This is a negative stereotype. We refuse
to be marginalized. We refuse to be treated like
second-class citizens:" -Ariane
Conrad
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September 2006
I 17
Curvatures
Lesbofile
The More Things Change
♦♦♦
We can never get enough of Whitney or Angelina, can we? I ByJocelynYoo
Watch your roes, ladies. This month, girls are coming our in droves. Which ones are legitimate is still
up for debate. Word from the wise: Open your
eyes and guard your hearts.
Hell to the No!
R&B legend WhitneyHoustonnor only likes co
partake in rhe white, according co sister-in-law Tina
Brown- she also likes co dip into rhe pink. Along
with selling photos of what's allegedly Houston's
bathroom (outfitted with crack pipes and ocher
drug paraphernalia) co the National Enquirer,
Brown cells the tabloid chat Houston was involved
in mulriple same-sex affairs, and char the Grammy
winner's husband, recording artist and penitentiary regular BobbyBrown,knew all about it. "Ir's
no secrec;•Tina says. 'Tve seen her with a woman
a couple of rimes. They were walking around without shirrs on when I came in rhe house:•
A Sordid Affair
Celebrity journalise Chaunce Hayden told rhe New
York Post char exotic dancer and former Howard
Sternradio show regular Debbie Roach - known
on-air as DebbieTay,rhe Space Lesbian - died
of a drug overdose in 1995 after JennyShimizu
allegedly asked Tay co acquire heroin for Shimizu
and AngelinaJolie,whom she mer while filming
Foxfire. "Debbie told me, 'Jenny gave me her ATM
card and wants me to buy $200 worth of heroin
and ship it co rhe Foxfire sec;" Hayden cold rhe Post.
"Jenny lacer called me and said how sorry she was
for what happened. She said she'd pay for the funeral, but she never paid a dime. She didn't even
go co the service." However, Hayden himself isn't
really one to talk about good caste. According co
IMDb.com, he once brought Tay's cremated ashes
onto Howard Stern's morning show and "played
with her ashes over the air:•
Bring on the Ladykillers
Years ago when Buffy the Vampire Slayer was
still on, every girl you knew was hoping Alyson
Hannigan
might be queer. Who else could execute
lesbian character Willow so perfecrlyf So maybe
rhar's why lyari Limon- slayer-in-training and
Willow's lover, Kennedy - flew underneath the
real-life gaydar. Limon, who was briefly married co
Napoleor1Dynamite actor EfrenRamirez,
came our
publicly in April and is now daring DJSandraEdge.
"I loved how she was just in her own lirrle world,
1s
I curve
"It was me, him, Lindaand 2,000 lesbians.Apparently
there was speculationabout whetherI was wearing
underwear.Look, I've been wearingshortskirts
onstageforeverand obviouslyI wear panties.Christ!"
and she was so cure;• Limon cold AfrerEllen.com.
"I love androgyny, androgynous women. You
know, short hair, really don't have to wear a lot of
makeup, pretty face, just cool and confident and
know who they are:' Iyari, consider yourself officially welcome in the land of lesbians.
Underneath It All
At the benefit for the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian
Community Center at the Henry Fonda TI1earer
last April, singer and perpetual rehab queen
CourtneyLove,Smashing Pumpkins fronrman
BillyCorganand songwriting legend LindaPerry
all belted it our onsrage in a one-rime-only performance. "It was me, him, Linda and 2,000 lesbians;• Love cells NME.com. "Apparenrly there was
speculation about whether I was wearing under
wear. Look, I've been wearing short skirts onsrage
forever and obviously I wear panties. Christ!"
Natural Disaster Warning
Puc EvaLongoria,
JessicaAlba,JessicaSimpson
and EvaMendeswithin a 5-mile radius of each
ocher. Watch the neighborhood implode under
their hotness. Longoria recenrly says of her three
"special" neighbors co G2 "They're my crushes. I
have intense love for these women:· TI1e Desperate
Housewives starlet (who, alas, is daring San
Antonio Spurs point guard TonyParker)says rhe
trio often comes over to her place, adding, "That's
our crew. Thar's our gang:• Don't say I didn't warn
you about the impending apocalypse. ■
Curvatures
Your Favorite Lesbian Movies
FRONTS
In the wake of BrokebackMountain,
and artistic style, there was a
Curvemag.com asked visitors co
cell us which lesbian movie should
go down in history as a pure classic.
The hands-down winner? Desert
Hearts.Bue don't chink there weren't
movie chat was on PBS back in
the '70s. It was called Tht;..War
Widow. It was about a woman
whose husband was at war, and
she ended up having an affair
with a woman photographer
and is disowned, I chink, by her
mother. Ic was so hard back then
another 79 movies that gave it a run
for its money, including Bound, The
Hours, If These Walls Could Talk 2
and runner-up, Tipping the Velvet.
Writers from around the globe
shared movie stories like chis from
one reader: "If These Walls Could
Talk 2 was one of the first lesbian
co ever see anything done artistically and in a positive light toward
lesbianism, and I was in my lace
movies I viewed as a teenager, chat
made me feel comfortable in my
own skin and not ashamed of who
I was. The three different stories each had a special meaning
chink chat anyone who ever saw it
was shocked at the boldness of it
for its day and time. I remember
teens just coming to terms with
the fact that I was different. I
to me, because as time passes I can keep returning to this film
and relating parts of my life. Hopefully certain aspects of each
woman's perseverance will have certain representation in my
life as it continues."
While Judy voted for Desert Hearts, she adds, "but for guts
gathering ac the apartment of a group of my first real lesbian
friends to watch it. Gosh, chat sure brings back memories chat
I haven't thought of in years."
LJU
LJU
BACKS
"NOT THAT
KIND OF
LESBIAN"
- Kiyohe
E.Lopez's
winning
sloganforcrnvE's
T-shirt
contest.If Hallmark
hadalso
beena sponsor,
Lopezwould
havehadourvotefor best
newgreeting
card,too,with
"Beware
of thosewhoadmire
yourrelationship.
Nextthing
youknowthey'rekissing
yourgirlfriend."
Goodadvice
indeed.
Guess what,Judy? You can finally relive the days of your lesbian youth: The War Widow is now available on DVD chrough.
Ladyslipper Music at ladyslipper.org. ■
an
FAN
oms
CENTRAL
September 2006
J
19
1 Doria Roberts and her adoring fans at the Girls in Wonderland pool party in Florida
2 A sexy singleton struts her stuff at Boise's LGBT Pride 3 CuRvE's executive editor, Diane
Anderson-Minshall, takes over che Idaho Scace Capitol steps as keynote speaker for Boise
Pride 4 Lipstick and Dipstick columnists Kathy Beige (left) and Gina Daggett (second from
right) flank Jacob and Diane Anderson-Minshall (center), and writer and SF LGBT Center
staffer Catherine Plato 5 Finally a rainbow we aren't sick of seeing, on this lovely lass in Boise
6 TV hottie Honey Labrador (left) with Daggett and cuRvE's associate editor, Malinda Lo,
at rhe San Francisco Pride VIP reception 7 CuRvE's sales and marketing team Danie Belfield
(left) and Sara Jane Keskula flank hoc-shoe photographer Kina Williams at Porcland Pride
20 I curve
Stolt naya BluebenFlavored R
Advice
COMING OUT
TO YOUR KID'S
TEACHER
Back-to-school
season
can
bea timeof excitement
for
childrenbuta timeof uncertaintyforlesbianparents,
because
everySeptember
meansa wholenewroundof
coming-out
stories.It maybe
tempting
to remainsilentuntil
situations
forceusto come
out,butif weexpectthe
adultsin ourchildren's
lives
to treatuswithre~pect,
then
wemusttellthemwhowe
are.Sharing
information
in an
introductory
letterisa great
start.Herearesometips:
Do it sooner rather
than tater. If,onthefirst
day,a teachersays,"Please
bringthisnotehometoyour
momanddad,"yourchildis
already
offto a rockystart.
Keep it brief. Onepage
is enough;
yourgoalis simply
to letyourchild'steacher
knowhow"out"youand
yourchildare.
Be clear. Besureto use
theword"gay"or "lesbian"
sothere'snoambiguity.
Name names. Istherea
Momanda Mommy?
Isthere
a dadin thefamily?Include
a familyphotoif you're
comfortable
doingso.
Urge the teacher to
share theletterwithallthe
adults,suchasthemusic
andartteachers,
whowork
withyourchild.It'shelpfulif
everyone's
in theloop.
Don't expect a reply.
Thebeginning
of theschool
yearis anextremely
busy
timeforteachers.
Justknow
thatyouhaveputthefirst
buildingblockof
communication
in place.
Offer to provide more
information. Beavailable
forphoneconversations,
or comein fora meeting
asneeded.
Keep your tone
professional, upbeat
and positive. Youare
neitherapologizing
nor
demanding;
you'resimply
introducing
yourfamilyso
thatteachers
canconnect
positively
withyourchild.
- MaryE.Cronin
Ask Fairy Butch
X Marksthe Spot
Dear Fairy Butch: I am a recently out 25-year-old and
I am loving life. My partner and I have an awesome
relationship. We are so happy and so much in love. My
issue is that one of our friends, a lesbian, is not supportive of our relationship. She talks behind my back,
lies to my partner and makes really horrible comments
about our relationship. To top it off, she and her partner don't have a good relationship, and she often
calls me to complain and bitch. Her attitude toward
my partner and me is strange, because she is the one
who hooked us up in the first place. How can I make
it known that I don't appreciate her attitude, while still
maintaining a friendship with her? - Confused Chick
in Charlotte
Dear Chick: Well, first off, maze! tov to you, dear girl. It
sounds like the world is your oyster! I don't know why your
friend makes these hurtful comments and tries to harm your
relationship. Maybe she's jealous of you and your relationship
with your partner. Maybe she misses the greater amount of
time that you spent together before your relationship began.
Maybe she's jealous of your partner and yearns to sample your
cupcakes. Who knows what's causing her bad behavior? But
she's responsible for it, and it needs to stop. Just be clear: Lay it
out for her. Often people act like this because they don't have
anything inreresring ro say. Be upfront with her and tell her this
kind of horse-hockey is just not going to fly,and that if it con-
since you will narurally want to approach the G-spot with your
sensitive fingertips rather than with your fingernails. The second technique places her in a squatting position where she can
readily bear down with her PC muscles, or the muscles of the
pelvic floor (she can easily locate them by stopping the flow of
tinues, it's going to affect your friendship with her. Meanwhile,
you'll want to make sure your own house is clean, hon, and that
you check your own behavior to ensure you're doing everything
you can to make things copacetic.
urine midstream). As she presses down with these muscles, her
G-spot will be pushed toward her vaginal opening and will be
easier to reach, by either you or your gal. In either case, the latter technique is particularly helpful to folks with short fingers.
While many women relish direct stimulation of their
Dear Fairy Butch: OK, I've been around the block a
time or two, and I still can't seem to get the skinny on
this thing they call the G-spot. I can't seem to find it,
and I'm a bit embarrassed that I don't know more. I
would like to explore it with my girlfriend; can you help
me out? - Foraging in Flint
G-spots, some find it irritating, especially if they are not sufficiently aroused. When you penetrate your partner's vagina,
avoid immediate incense contact of the G-spot, instead moving
coward direct stimulation as her arousal mounts. You will find
that the texrure and sensitivity of the G-spot will change with
Dear Flint: Well, sugar, let me see if I can give you a little
insight; pardon me if I get a little technical. The urethral
sponge, or G-spot, so named in tribute to gynecologist Ernst
Grafenberg, is located 2 to 3 inches inside the vagina on its
front wall toward the hair-covered mons pubis. It is sized
somewhere between a dime and a half-dollar in circumference;
has a moist, spongy, corrugared texture; and is wrapped around
the urethra to protect it from injury during penetration. When
a woman becomes aroused, it swells with fluid and protrudes
out a bit from the rest of the vaginal wall, thus becoming easier
to locate.
Here are two simple ways to find your girl's G-spot, pumpkin. The first method places her on all fours with her back
221 curve
arched, enabling you to reach in with palm facing downward,
sexual excitement, and its location will be affected by the position of your gal's body. Since the G-spot is wrapped around
the urethra and is adjacent to the bladder, many women feel
an urge to urinate when this spot is touched, especially if too
much stimulation is given too soon. The person being stimulated can become more comfortable with this sensation by
emptying her bladder before sex and putting a towel underneath her prior to being penetrated. You can also help her to
feel less self-conscious about this process by assuring her that
indeed, into each life some rain must fall, and it matters not
should this be such an occasion. ■
Gentle Readers: To submit your queries regardingthefiner points
of lesbian life, sexuality, romance and other matters of the heart,
send a note toJb@fairybutch.com.
Lipstick& Dipstick Advice
All Cried Out Over a Girl
hurt, but it's for your own good. Let me translate
"can't handle a relationship" for you. What it really
means is that she's fallen out of love with you and
has met someone else. Now, I bet you're bawling
even harder, aren't you? That's OK, let it all pour
out. When your soul's done detoxifying (it will
stop crying on its own), put this girl behind you,
close the door and lock it. In order to get your life
~
~!'!,
LU
Dl
:l
a:
(!)
J
LU
~
0
~
t
g
LU
~Dl
>I
~
"-
0
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: My girlfriend of
two years just dumped me, and I feel like
my life is coming apart. When she broke up
with me, in her e-mail she said she "can't
handle a relationship right now." We still
live together, but our lease will be up in a
couple of months, and I'm going through
hell. I find myself sobbing at my job, at
home and in the middle of Wal-Mart just
at the thought of her. I need my life back.
Lately, all I do is think about her and how
she popped this on me right after our anniversary, a night when we gave each other
presents and made love. It just doesn't
make sense. Please help me. I'm tired of
crying. - Bawling Baby in Boston
back, you must get away from her. This is the first
step, which means moving out stat, even if you
have to sleep on a friend's couch. Being around
rhe spineless wench will only sabotage the healing.
Pack it up.
Lipstick: You're better off without the bitch
- I have no use for cowardly women, and neither
should you. Her e-mail bomb drop simply reveals
what I bet you knew all along: that she not only
likes to eat it, but she's a pussy, too. This is gonna
like good sex to cake your mind off heartbreak.
P.S. What the hell are you doing shopping at
Dipstick: Boston, don't listen to Lipstick. She has
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I have an intense
obsession ~ith Melissa Etheridge. Ever
since I got tickets to her upcoming show,
I haven't been able to think about anything
else. I wonder if she'd ever leave Tammy.
Maybe I could convince her that we're soul
mates? Any idea how I can get backstage
to meet her? - Yes I Am in Love with M.E.
Lipstick: Whoa! I just got off the phone with
Melissa and she'll be beefing up security for her
summer tour. Listen up, Brave and Crazy, if she
and Tammy ever call it quits - which I doubt
they will - you can bet she won't be combing her
concert venues for a wild-eyed fanatic to dare. For
no perspective. She's always been the leaver. What
you're going through is normal. I remember when
my first true love broke up with me. What a sight I
must have been, wandering the suburban streets at
your own good, you need to put her CDs away,
take down the posters and, for dyke's sake, hide
my pathetic door-to-door canvassing job, trying to
save the environment when I could barely save myself Dear child, allow yourself this time to mourn. If
- maybe you won't make an ass of yourself at the
concert. And even be;ter, when you're not fixated
on M.E:s adorable pixie cue, you'll be able to zoom
in on the hottie seated two rows in front of you
who is within reach.
you're still pining over her in a year, then get to therapy. Or, better yet, do what scores of other shattered
lesbians have tried - have a rebound affair.Nothing
Wal-Mart? If you really want to get depressed,
educate yourself on how Wal-Marc treats its
female workers.
your vibrator! Seeing her in your fantasies is only
fueling the fire. Do all rhis and then - only then
Dipstick: In a weird way, I can relate, M.E. fan.
When Madonna's Truth or Dare came out, I
watched ir over and over, imagining myself on
tour with the virginal one. I didn't want much
- just to carry her bag to the tour bus or help
her into her cone bra before the show.
I was sure if we only met, we'd have so
much in common. We'd sit around and
make fun of Kevin Cosrner together;
I'd whip up delicious vegetarian meals
and she'd give me shoulder massages.
We'd be two pals on the road.
Fortunately, I never took my fantasy
any further. I didn't write Madonna
love letters or try to sneak backstage to
slip her a red rose, and neither should
you. Besides, I'll bet that Tammy is
quire the street fighter, so I wouldn't
mess with her mojo, if you know what
I mean.
I suggest that you get ro rhe back
of the line with all the other crazed
fans, and keep your little secret ro
yourself. ■
>-
~
:l
0
0
Ask us anything about sex, love or lesbians
at lipstickdipstick.com.
September 2006 [ 23
Advice
Astra Grrl
Erotica for Us
Look Before You Leap
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Sex: Relationships have their ups and downs. Good
If you enjoy truly sexy lesbian
erotica ... then I think you'll really love
this place. They manage to capture
that ID} stical "something" that makes
all of the action seem more des
- you were getting coo complacent and boring.
Career: Co-workers plant a few surprises in your
morning coffee. Oh, goodie. Look before you sip.
Libra (Sept. 24-0ct. 23)
Sex: Your sex life may be quieter than usual.
Maybe chat's because you've been cold chat you
are coo noisy. Career: Just when you thought rhac
your job was boring, someone moves your cheese.
So what? Change your menu!
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Sex: Lesbian Scorps find love in new, exotic places
- the more exotic the better. Bue will it result in
a rash? Career: Your career path is blocked. This
is temporary bur frustrating nonetheless. Grease a
few wheels that rev your engine this September.
Career: Lambda rams find love on rhe job ... er,
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
on their desk, actually. Work late and clock those
hours!
Won't you be surprised! Does she have a friend?
Sex: Create havoc in every sexual encounter. Noc
only will ladies talk about you, they might even
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
wane to see what all the commotion is about.
Career: Even though you have pissed off che
bosses in the past, they are willing to forgive and
Sex: Sapphic bulls are footloose and fancy free.
forget. Will your
Bur don't trip on your hooves because of your
wandering affections. Career: There is someone
trying to deceive you on the job - you know who.
Take a vacation and escape.
Capricorn (Dec. 2~an.
20)
Sex: Lambda Caps may have a few false scares in
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
love chis September. But keep your chin up; false
scaresare better chan no scares at all! Career: There
Sex: Love may follow you everywhere, but keep
will be so much frenzied activity in your career now
chat you may forget to bathe. Don't forger co bache.
the bathroom door closed. Maintain the mystery
with your miss. Career: Expect a few corporate
kabooms through the month. The top will topple,
and ic's about rime!
Independent
feature film-making
with an artistic edge ...
using natural-looking,
women-next-door t.ypc
models.
It's different ... not your
usual girl-girl stuff.
There are some really
great couplin • here.
-www.pornr
Orts.com
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
Sex: Relationships hie a few snags, but the two of
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
you will happily kiss and make up once the dust
settles. Start cleaning! Career: Aqueerians have
all the luck in their careers this September. Don't
Sex: Is love a trip to the moon on gossamer wings
waste it by hanging around the copy room pushing your paperclip.
September is the month to make your best moves.
Move up, move out or quit complaining.
or one of those crazy things? You decide. Career:
If you've been feeling unappreciated on the job,
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Sex: Seek romance in faraway places. Noc only
Sex: Are you able to overlook all her flaws and
are you especially attractive, you also have the en-
fall head over heels in lover Yes. But can she do rhe
ergy to go che distance. Hurry before you are coo
same for you? Brush up your act, sister. Career:
Don't let them rain on your Pride parade around
the office. You've got that je ne sais quoi. Give them
pooped co pop. Career: Forget about your quest
for the perfect job. They call it "work:' If it were
fun, they would call it "fun:·
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Sex: Who is it chat tickles your fancy this month?
quoi for! ■
For more advicefrom the stars, visit our astrologer,
CharleneLichtenstein, online at thestarryeye.com.
"Wh
the
their
s me here is that
tifully natural in
expression of
"I started watching and ended up
being riveted ... what a lovely story
being told here."
"Thanks for offering this type of
film for those who enjoy bringing
the mind into the action."
"It's about time someone created a
quality site for us!"
twilightwomen.com
Seduction and Hopeless Resistance
September
2006
I 25
ake
One lesbian
discovers the
of our smallest state's
I' 11ad m t t
■•
■•
e
biggest city.
I'm one of chose peo\le who _re~~r
New York City as 'The City. I
grew up in Jersey, and all the years of telling people I was from "right outside
the City" really ingrain themselves in a person. I'll also admit that I agree with
City - to this day, I would probably prefer to live in Brooklyn than anywhere
else - the truth is, New York City doesn't need me. Everyoneloves New York
City. If other people were going to talk trash about New Jersey, I was going to
love it double in order to compensate. Yeal1.I do• NJ.
Edward Norton's character in Keeping the Faith when he says that anyone who
does nor live in New York City must be, to some extent, joking. I guess I've been
joking for some time now. I've lived in Providence, R.I. - affectionately known
to locals as"Little Rhody;' rhe"Biggest Little;' and ocher nicknames that include
the word "little" - for almost 10 years. In those 10 years, I've come to love the
Which brings us to Rhode Island. At 1,045 square miles, Little Rhody
is the smallest state in the Union. The whole state is only slightly larger than
the acreage of farmland in New Jersey. For many, the Biggest Little is nothing
more than a 40-mile stretch on the road from New York to Boston, or the place
where you turn off 95 to head east toward Cape Cod. We have 39 cities and
Ocean State with a fierceness previously reserved for New Jersey.
I'm sure I don't need to tell you that the Garden State is the butt of many
jokes. If you've ever driven down rhe Jersey Turnpike, you understand why
many call New Jersey the armpit of the East Coast. My use of the phrase
towns, one area code, and no major-league sports team. But what we don't have
in size, we more tl1an make up for in personality. Perhaps you've heard of our
former mayor Vincenr"Buddy" Cianci~ He was mayor for 10 years before serv-
■ to
"right outside the City" artfully dodged any need to count myself among
those who live in the armpit. But soon I began to feel I was betraying my
ing a fi.ve-yearsuspended sentence for beating his estranged wife's lover. He was
then re-elected and served as mayor for another 10 years before being convicted
of conspiracy to run a criminal enterprise out of City Hall. He's now four years
home state. New Jersey is home to 810,000 acres of farmland, nor to mention
Albert Einstein, Frank Sinatra and Bruce Springsteen. I grew up in a town
into his federal racketeering sentence in Fort Dix, New Jersey. Despite these
transgressions - or perhaps because of them - Rhode Islanders love Buddy.
where I could walk to school and knew my neighbors, yet I was only 15 minutes from Manhattan. And though I would never have chosento live in Jersey,
the fact is, that's where I am from.
So I began to say it proudly. 'Tm from Jersey:' My voice was feeble at fuse,
By
e
Schwartzapfel
but it slowly gained in strength with practice. And while I do love New York
September 2006
I27
buildings, which have been converted into lofr space, galleries and studios.
We can bike to downtown in less than 10 minutes, and to most ocher neighborhoods within 20 minutes. And while the retail establishments haven't
settled quite as thickly as I hope they will one day, they are much cooler than
comparable places in ocher neighborhoods because everyone is so excited to
be a part of the West Side. Some of the bars have teams in the neighborhood's
summer kickball league. When one of the restaurants needed extensive renovations to meet fire code, ocher bars and restaurants actually held fundraisers
co help the owner gee back on his feet again. The West Side is a microcosm of
Buddy symbolizes the scrappiness chat Rhode Islanders are famous for.
I moved here in 1997 to attend college. What a random place co move co.
Bur it is precisely its randomness, in part, chat makes Rhode Island lovable.
The longer you live here, the more you understand about the place and its
many quirks. You scare co accumulac~ stories chat exemplify Rhode Island,
stories chat could only happen here. You start to feel like you're in on a secret.
Like the time we went co drop my girlfriend's car off at the mechanic. One
the small-town feel chat pervades the rest of the state.
I may have mentioned chat I love cities. My girlfriend, on the ocher hand,
loves the country. If it weren't for me, she'd live on a farm in the middle of
nowhere, delivering calves and riding horses. (Remember how I said I'd rather
live in Brooklyn than anywhere else? Did you wonder why I don't live there~)
Providence is a nice compromise, because although our neighborhood feels
relatively urban, we can be in the middle of nowhere in less than an hour.
Rhode Island isn't called the Ocean Scace for nothing.
We have over 400 miles of coastline, which includes some of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen, and none is more than an hour away by car. On a
summer day, we can drive down co one of Newport's famed beaches, spend the
He looked up at her like she was crazy, and wrote the letters over again. R-U.
"No;• she said again. "I-U:' Finally he put the pen down. "I don't know!" he
roared.''.Am It You see, in Rhode Island, "I-U" and"are you" sound the same.
day swimming and sunning, go co Flo's Clam Shack for a fried shrimp dinner,
for dessert stop by a farm stand chat makes its own ice cream and still be home
by sunset. Much of the state is rural, which means chat outside the state's six
largest cities the population thins out considerably - so there are many places
to go for scenic walks.
My favorite hiking guide is called Walks and Rambles in Rhode Island, and
it's true, we have more in the way of walks and rambles than we do in the way
Boston may be only 50 miles up the road, but it might as well be a world
away. I have a friend who jokes chat she gets a nosebleed when she crosses into
Woonsocket, a city chat abuts Rhode Island's border with Massachusetts; it's
of hikes. (Our highest point is Jerimoch Hill, elevation 812 feet.) But the walks
and rambles are beautiful. The North-South Trail runs the length of the western part of the state, starting at the Connecticut border and continuing through
of the garage's employees was writing her name on the little yellow tag chat
attaches to her keys. My girlfriend began co spell out her lase name as he
wroce."M-O-H-I-U;' she said."M-O-H-R-U;' he wroce."No;· she said."I-u:·
e can riv to Newport's famed beaches, spend the
day swimming, go to Flo's Clam Shack for dinner, for
dessert stop by a farm s an
which makes its own
ice cream and still be home by sunset.
just coo far north. And though my heart has long piecer-pattered for the City,
I'll cake Providence over Boston any day. Boston, as the biggest city in New
England, is home to more museums, bars, music venues and educational institutions than any ocher nearby city. But it's too proud of itself. And when I'm
deciding whether a city meets my expectations, I always pull out my handy
city yardstick: New York. And Boston, I'm afraid, is so not New York. Rhode
Island, on the ocher hand, makes no claims. If you don't like it, don't come.
woods, past scone fences and rocky outcroppings, lakes and streams, and over
old dirt roads all the way to the Massachusetts border (it's only 40 miles, but
My girlfriend and I live on the first floor of a big old Victorian house
on the city's West Side. The West Side is what real estate agents would call
"up-and-coming:• Our discomfort at being a force for gentrification not-
sidered changing it to "Home:') My girlfriend and I are moving next year. She
has applied co medical school, and we're waiting with bated breach to find out
in what direction we're going to be pointing the old U-Haul. She's applied co
withstanding, we love our neighborhood. Ac the Hudson Street Markee, che
several New York schools just for me, and while I'm thrilled about the possibil-
neighborhood corner score, the owners are in a band and they know everyone
by name. They'll write your name on a New York Times for you and put it
aside if you're not going co be there early enough co snag one on Sunday.
ity of finally living in the City, I chink we'll be back here before long.
My love for the Ocean Scace is more pure than my love for either New
York or New Jersey. It's not cool co live here the way it's cool co live in New
The neighborhood is built around a big park, and in the park is a dog run.
There is no better way to get co know your neighbors than co hang out in the
dog run. Well, sore of. We have a growing handful of fun, hipped-out places
to hang out - restaurants, bars and coffee shops - and we have old mill
York. You don't get any points for being from here. Bur unlike my love for
New Jersey, I don't love Rhode Island in defiance of its naysayers, either. I
don't love it because I need to overcompensate for chose who don't. I love it
because it is what it is. Home. ■
28
Icurve
still). In the fall, the leaves are magnificent, and in che winter, these same places
are perfect spots to throw down your cross-country skis.
And so, we radiate Rhode Island pride. We have Providence posters in our
apartment, Rhode Island sweatshirts, hats, and T-shirts. My best friend has a
tattoo of the state seal. (The state motto is "Hope;• buc for a moment, she con-
t>e.ct\Je.,
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CANADA
Keep Exploring
wn
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©/TM 2(X)6 Toronto Convention & Visitors Association
All theworld'sa stagewhenyou'rea lesbian- or a thespian
- butthesewomenareusingtheir
time in entertainment
to buckconventions
aboutwhatit meansto be a chickin Hollywood.
From
powerbrokersto dayplayers,
we'veroundedup 13 of the not-so-usual
suspects
to takeus behind
theTVscreens,
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CHERIEN
DABIS
L Word scribe and Arab-American filmmaker Cherien Dabis casts her spell on us. By fracy E:.G1lchnst
'Tm a neurotic workaholic," admits Dabis, who holds an
MFA in film from Columbia University.
Dabis' humorous, gay-themed re-imaginings of fairy tales
and her contributions to The L Word might seem incongruous
with her current, subtly political projects, bur she culls her stories from her experiences as a gay woman born to a Jordanian
mom and a Palestinian father - and from growing up in Ohio.
Though she was born in the United States, Dabis spent nine
months our of the year in Ohio and summers in the Middle
East while growing up. "I felt like I had one foot in Ohio and
one foot in Jordan;' she says.
Last fall, for the first time since 1985, Dabis trekked to
her family's homeland to make her short film. While aspects
of her return trip echoed a 20-year-old memory of her harried, 12-hour journey to travel 44 miles from the Jordanian
During the past year, filmmaker Cherien Dabis' career landed
her at an Israeli border crossing, awaiting clearance to enter
the Palestinian city of Ramallah, and then half a world away
in Los Angeles with a writing staff hashing out the liner points
of the next plot twist for Bette, Shane, Alice and the rest of the
hyperglamorous L Word gals. An openly gay, Arab-American
writer and director, Dabis wears her many hats with elan, parlaying her personal experience into her work on the page and
behind the camera.
Over the past several years Dabis has garnered herself a
reputation as something of a gay and lesbian film festival darling with her short film Memoirs of an Evil Stepmother, a queer
take on Snow White, starringJane Lynch - which Dabis wrote
and directed. And she put a kink into another "fairy" tale when
she penned the script for Little Black Boot, a charming crowdpleaser about a baby-dyke Cinderella, which premiered at the
Sundance Film Festival in 2004.
Between commutes from her home in New York City to Los
Angeles as a staff writer for the third and fourth seasons of The
L Word, and an extended trip to the West Bank where she began production on her short film Make a Wish, she keeps busy
raising funds for her sometimes funny, sometimes poignant and
always personal film projects. Ar one point during the year, she
took a temp job in New York to defray the costs of producing
Make a Wish. The short focuses on a young Palestinian girl
whose search for the perfect birthday cake reveals the complexities of living in an occupied territory. The Royal Jordan Film
Commission worked with Dabis to support the production.
And if chat's not ambitious enough, she somehow found
rime to hone the script for her feature film Amreeka - about a
Jordanian single mother who immigrates to the United States
in search of the elusive American dream - during the five-daylong Sundance Screenwriters Lab, and she was accepted into
the Mediterranean Films Crossing Borders Program at the
Cannes Film Festival.
city of Amman to Israel's Jerusalem - a memory rife with a
proliferation of flies and also with rifle-bearing soldiers who
strip-searched her family - Dabis eventually made it to her
destination, camera equipment in tow. Alchough her time at
the border crossing was again lengthy and frustrating, chis time
soldiers skipped the strip search. She says chat the flies were still
there though.
Despite the two-pronged nature of Dabis' career as a
contributor to gay pop culture and an ethnographer of her
Jordanian/Palestinian roots, she discovered during her trip to
the West Bank chat her worlds had converged, a little.
While Dabis says she knew before to returning to the Middle
East chat Jordan had a small but determined, burgeoning gay
community, she gained some notoriety when women who'd seen
the first two seasons of The L Word were shocked to discover
chat a Jordanian had contributed to the story lines. She says she
learned that the show's Jordanian fans had smuggled in the first
season and downloaded the second one.
For a woman who admits that when anybody Googles her,
a host of gay-themed articles pop up, Dabis isn't completely out
back in the Middle East. Bur she says it's a non-issue because "In
the Arab world females don't have sexuality. Ir's so taboo:' She
says she never felt out of place as a lesbian in the West Bank,
since women's sexuality isn't discussed on any level.
Having faced armed soldiers and intense border-crossing
scenarios where guards picked apart her luggage, Dabis admits,
"I was scared to write on The L Word:' She says that writing
for the show is a collaborative effort with several other writers
in which the writing staff work in concert with the show's creator Ilene Chaiken, and Dab is' partner - director and producer
Rose Troche.
Dispelling the myth that couples shouldn't mix business
with pleasure, Dabis says of collaborating with Troche, "We
worked really well together:' She hopes to write a script that
Troche would direct - possibly a lesbian comedy.
But first, pending enough funds raised, Dabis intends to
head back to the West Bank to begin production on Amreeka
in September. ■
September 2006
I33
NANCYRANCOURT
(I
Rocker Nancy Rancourt took on Tommy Lee.
BROOKE
THOMPSON
VH1 's Pumpkin joins our team.
Best known as the feisty
"Pumpkin" from VHI's
H1vor of Love, Brooke
'Thompson has been
rocking the game
show and reality TV
circuits for years now.
On Flavor of J,01•e,
Thompson and 19 other
single ladies competed for
the love of Flavor Flav of Public
Enemy. As it rurncd out, love was simply not
in the stars for Thompson and Flav, but ir's ail
good: Ar Dinah Shore 2006, Thompson came
out as queer.
How has your life changed since you
, Renee WestbrooK
Nancy Rancourt says what's on her mind, and she doesn't care who's listening. She
publicly lambasted CBS's Rock Star: Supernova and called out rocker Tommy Lee for
his comments about women. (Earlier this year, Lee said to MTV News, "Why is it
that the hot chicks never can sing/") The 30-something, Canadian-born singer also
mrned down a major label deal because they suggested that she conceal her sexual
orientation from the public. No matter what comes down the sometimes sleazy pikes
of the music business, Rancourt is determined to make it on her own terms.
How did you get started in music?
I started singing when I was about 3 years old, and by the time I was 11, I was songwriting and doing vocal sessions for hire in studios. When I was 14, I received
an indie label offer, but I declined because I was concerned about becoming the
next Tiffany or Debbie Gibson. From there I took some engineering courses,
started doing more demos, started playing live with different people and
eventually started releasing my own material.
"I'm not going to embrace
an opportunity to further my
career by having to deal
with those schmucks."
came out?
My friends don't care either way,and a few of my
family members are cool with it. My mom,
on the other hand, hates it. But, at the end
of the day, you have to make yourself happy
and live your life the way you choose to.
Do you expect t to have any affects on
your career?
don't thmk so, because before Fl,wor of
Love I was the same person 1 am now....
Hollywood 1s so accepting. I do not think
they care what you do on your own time as
long as you arc good at what you do and
keep the viewers wannng more.
Do you have any plans to break nto
mainstream acting?
I am open ro char as my next move. I love reality television, but rhat's all I know ar rhis
poinr, I would love to branch our inro
movies eventually, but right now 1 am JUSt
trying to extend this 15 minutes of fame I
have been given. Pumpkin might remain as
a memory, bur America has not seen the
last of Brooke.
If you were m Flav's position, who would
you have chosen?
l would have picked Hoopz. She 1s not only
gorgeous, but she has the personality to go
along with it. She also knows how to be
romantic and rake care of her partner. ■
Which artists inspired you most?
This is going to be a really strange combination: Tina Turner
and Billy Joel.
That is an odd combination. Why those two?
They're both very emotive when they sing. There's a lot of substance to what they're
saying and how they say it. I mean, Tina Turner just rocks. She's got the very
soft, sultry thing, and you can see the emotions and the vulnerability. Then she's
got the fuck-you-and-your-little-dog-too
so well. What happened?
They called and invited me to a private audition. I sang"Skin & Bone" and it was
cool to see the reactions of the audience. As I walked off the stage I got mobbed
by news cameras. No one had prepared me for that, but I dealt with it. A few
days later I found out who the band was. Now, if it had been Queen I would have
been jumping for joy, but my first concern was Tommy Lee. At first I thought,
I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and we'll see where this goes. When I saw
the quotes happening, I said I want nothing to do with this. I'm not a sellout.
I'm not going to embrace an opportunity to further my career by having to deal
with chose schmucks.
Did you get called back?
No, but I think they kind of knew my opinion before they were making their final
choices because word gets around very quickly. I'm sure they were well aware
that I wasn't too happy with Mr. Lee's behavior. I also e-mailed Tommy Lee and
told him he was a schmuck, and if wanted to save his career and his dignity he
should rescind his comments to the press. I never heard back from him.
Overall, do you think the show is positive?
With the first season, I thought its intentions had promise; it had potential. If it
did go to a second season I thought we might see that potential. I'm thoroughly
disappointed that there's no potential shining through at all. It's nor about the
music. I was hoping it would be. ■
34
Icurve
thing happening. I relate to that.
You were asked to audition for Rock Star: Supernova, but it didn't turn out
MICHELE
BALAN
C5
This veteran lesbian comic cracked us up on Last Comic Standing. By Laurie K. Scherden
It's the fourth week ofNBC's Last Comic Standing, and Michele
Balan, one of our favorite wise and witty lesbian comics, is
gathering with friends and fellow comics at the Gotham
Comedy Club in New York to watch her televised
performance. "It should be a hoot;' says Balan,
whose Neurotic by Nature was recorded at the
Los Angeles Improv in 1999. "Of course,
I hope I look good or the audience will
watch me cry!"
What was it like for a veteran like
yourself to get thrown into the
comedy gauntlet with comedians of
all levels?
I am sure there are people watching Last
Comic Standing thinking, "Who is this Michele
Balan? We never heard of her, maybe she is new:• I
want
to
tell them, yeah, I am a 20-year overnight success!
How did you get selected for the show?
I had to audition like everyone else. The good news is char I did
not have to wait in line with thousands. IfI did have to, you
probably would not see me on the show. I don't even wait in
line for a sale!
Any noticeable impact yet from the show?
A family ran up to me yesterday in midtown Manhattan - I
thought I was going to be mugged by a middle-American
family. The two young girls screamed, "Are you on Last
Comic Standingt I was shocked they recognized me. TI1ey
were from Cleveland and said I was the first celebrity they
saw in New York and I thought ... how sad.
So how did the show itself go?
There was che afternoon audition with the two judges, Bob Read
and Ross Mark. If you pass through that you go onto the
night show at Caroline's on Broadway where che audience
votes. I was shocked to get my little red slip chat I was going
to Hollywood. I felt like Clay Aiken on American Idol!
Was the show a typical comedy scene - mostly men?
Any lesbians?
Of course this is comedy so there are always a lot more men, but
I was pleased co see how many women they did pick for the
semifinals in L.A. I am very proud of NBC for doing char.
As far as lesbians, I chink there could have been more, but
since I didn't sleep with any of chem, I'm not sure.
What makes you laugh?
I have co be honest chat I still enjoy the older type of comedy,
like the Borscht Belt one-liners of Buddy Hackett, George
Burns, Bob Hope, Freddie RQman, etc. Maybe chat's why
people cell me I remind chem of a female George Burns. ■
September 2006
I35
CARLEASE
BURKE
l6 .
You might recognize this veteran actor - and out lesbian - from TV, movies and Pizza Hut commercials.
.
..
Sprawled over a front-row seat in a small downtown theater
in Santa Monica, Calif., actor Carlease Burke passes a bag of
cookies co the person behind her. She's "on-book;' casually following the script as two fellow actors rehearse a scene. The play,
Dialecticsof the Heart, opens in less than two weeks, yet Burke is
indignation. To appease her parents, she studied pre-law at
New York City College, but hung around with performing arts
students. Performing"is what I did well and I knew at an early
age, bur no one else seemed to know ir;· she says sarcastically.
Her mother did enroll her in dancing classes, "but char was
about as calm and carefree as the tourists strolling down Main
Street on this warm winter day.
more to teach me poise and how to be a lady."She adds with a
laugh, "That hasn't worked:'
TI1en again, after playing opposite Cameron Diaz and Toni
Collette in last year's big-screen hie In Her Shoesand befriending
Tom Hanks in The Terminal the year before, what does Burke
have to be nervous about?
Rehearsal ends and Burke plops down at a table in the
Ironically, her parents inadvertently cracked open the stage
door by taking her to see Melba Moore in the hit Broadway musical Purlie,based on the segregation comedy Purlie Victorious
written by Ossie Davis (he played Bette and Kit Porter's dad on
The L Word)."From that moment I was hooked;' Burke says. "I
bought the album and wore the grooves out, singing'! Got Love'
over and over again:•
courtyard with her backpack and bike helmet. She lives only a
few blocks away, so she rides to rehearsals. With a head of thick
cornrows and a solid, nearly 5-foot-9-inch frame, the AfricanAmerican actor is not hard to notice. She laughingly tells of a
man who recently thought he recognized her. "He said, 'You
look familiar; do you work for the Department of Rehab?'"
Her commanding presence has won her numerous womanin-uniform roles, including police officers and authority figures.
But in real life, Burke is open, easy going and laughs readily.
Her acting success didn't happen overnight, but then, neither did coming to terms with her sexuality. "I used to get really
turned on by female wrestling!" she says in a confessional tone
The dancing lessons paid off when she got a job singing and
dancing on a cruise ship that brought her to rhe West Coast.
Within a few months, she moved to Los Angeles permanently.
Since rhen, Burke has appeared in dozens of films and television shows, including The ToolboxMurders, The Out-of Towners
and Get Shorty on the big screen; DesperateHousewives,ER,
Judging Amy, Malcolm in the Middle, Pizza Hur and Verizon
commercials on television; and, of.course, the occasional theatrical production.
Her sexuality affected her career only once, she says. "A very
"I started sneaking around to gay clubs; I'd get all kinds of books and
publications . ... I loved Playboy. I would fantasize about women - not
anybody in particular, just faceless white women with perfect bodies.
I didn't know anything about airbrushing at the time."
of voice. ''.And we're not talking about women who are hot and
gorgeous. (In the 1970s] it wasn't like glamorous, lipstick lesbian, hot babe wrestling:'
What was a young, church-going, African-American New
Yorker who likes girls and loves to perform to do? "I started
sneaking around to gay clubs; I'd get all kinds of books and
publications .... I loved Playboy.I would fantasize about women
- not anybody in particular, just faceless white women with
perfect bodies;' she says, laughing. "I didn't know anything about
airbrushing at the time:•
Bur she did know - or thought she knew - chat she didn't
"have the guts to become a lesbian:• Instead, she threw her
energy into acting - with the occasional foray into the basement costume department to make our with another girl.
Her sexuality, however, wasn't her biggest worry. Her race,
and her parents' opposition to her acting career, posed the primary challenges. Few African-American faces were seen on film
or television while she was growing up.
"There was Motown . .. and this black guy on The
LawrenceWelk.Show. One black guy!" she says, with humorous
shallow stage manager purposely did not include me in an audition. It seems he had a problem with me being our:• While she's
only been cast once as a lesbian, Burke does stand-up comedy
and emcee work for Olivia Cruises and emcees an annual Dinali
Shore Weekend parry in Palm Springs, Calif.
Burke still feels her big break has yet to come, and her ultimate goal is to win an Academy Award. "My smaller, short-term
goal is to be a series regular on a great episodic show:•
Like The L Word?
"Yes! Like The L Word. They need more lesbians and women
of color;• she insists.
As she collects her things and prepares to leave the courtyard, Burke reflects on what has been the best year yet in her
acting life."I spent a lot of my life trying to figure out where I fit
in, trying to find my place. Now it's, I know who I am, now what
fies met she explains. "I decided that at this point in my life I
don't want to spend a lot of energy doing something that's nor
my No. 1 passion. I don't know how long I'm going to be on this
earth ... and I want to keep the momentum [going). Whatever
it is I'm doing, I don't want to stop:• ■
September 2006 \ 37
GRETCHEN
MOL
Hollywood's hot starlet strikes a pose as Bettie Page.
tsy Laurie I\. ::;cneraen
Seeing
Zoey
1rar Hrtl
Gretchen Mol looks angelic sitting across the table. She's Sunday-school rigid, her blond
hair swept up in a conservative do, and a virginal-white, high-collared blouse shrouds
her delicate figure.
Whether chis chaste image was calculated, I'm not sure. The look is 180 degrees from
the ball-gag-and-black-bondage garb chat Mo! modeled co near perfection as the title
character in the recent film The Notorioi,sBettie Page.But it was Mol's ability to maintain a fresh-faced innocence in the midst of fetish poses that earned her the part of the
famous 1950s pinup queen, says director Mary Harren.
Harren, who co-wrote the script with Guinevere Turner (Go Fish, The L Word),has
a pretty good idea why Bettie Page appeals to lesbians - beyond the obvious appeal of
Mot's looks.
"There's definitely lesbian subtext in all the bondage photos because it's all girl-ongirl," says Harren, who was also behind the lens of films such as I Shot Andy Warholand
American Psycho.
t
1
'
SeeingZoey ISBN # 1-59129-013-6
$19.95
Amazon.com
www.PublishAmerica.com
www.barnesandnobel.com
Bue the lesbian subtext in the photos was purely accidental. Studio owner Irving
Klaw simply"didn't want any men in the photos;• Harren says."He was afraid they would
look like sex photos and get him in trouble;· because of America's puritanical attitudes
about sex in the 1950s. "He thought it was safer just to have girls:•
So the "fighting girlfriend films;' as Harren calls them, fulfilled fetish fantasies with
women restraining and spanking each other, crafting a "kind of naughty, pajama party
feel,"with a "sort of'90s lesbian subtext all through ic:•
"The thing that makes Bettie's images so
powerful is that she was so healthy about
it. She didn't have the shame attached to
the nudity or the bondage ... whatever she
was doing she had that twinkle in her eye."
The photographs ofboch Moland the real Page show sweet-faced young women who
could be just as easily flipping flapjacks as snapping a whip.
"She's not who you think she is;' Mo! says of Page, who grew up in the South and
was devoutly religious, even during her pinup heyday."I felt something in her had sort of
halted by (traumatic) early experiences in her life. When she was in front of the cameras
she was able to ... go to chat ocher place where she could just be purely alive and herself,
you know - sensual and sexual - but it was innocent:'
Eventually the playful pornography became the centerpiece for a Senate investigation, putting an end to che same-sex frolicking before photographer Paula Klaw's camera
lens - and to Page's career. Klaw, who photographed the women and supposedly treated
Takingthe Net ISBN# 1-4137-5709-X
$21.95
Amazon.com
www.PublishAmerica.com
www.barnesandnobel.com
ra,
111e
Net.
chem like family, is played in che film by the consistently fab Lili Taylor.
"The thing chat makes Bettie's images so powerful is that she was so healthy about
it;' says Mo!, who plays a bisexual woman in the upcoming Puccinifor Beginners,directed
by Maria Maggenti (The IncrediblyTrue Adventure of 2 Girls in Love). "She didn't have
the shame attached to the nudity or the bondage ... whatever she was doing she had that
twinkle in her eye:•
Mo! continues, "I chink she was the most comfortable - especially posing - when
she was out in nature, naked, loving the sun and the way it felt, and I think she felt
confident about herself. I loved looking at (Page's photographs) myself. I was sort of flabbergasted by her ability to be so proud and healthy about her own nudicy:· ■
September 2006
I39
MARIA
MAGGENTI
Maria Maggenti challenges our ideological agenda. By John Esther
Eleven years after writer and director Maria Maggenti showed
up at Sundance with her breakour lesbian film The Incredibly
True Adventure of 2 Girls in Love, she's back with her latest film,
The Sundance program said that with this film you have
Puccinifor Beginners.
ushered "in a new era of lesbian cinema free from an
The film follows Allegra (Elizabeth Reaser), a bright,
young woman living in Manhattan, who has just lost her latest love, Samantha (Julianne Nicholson), and while on the
rebound switches teams to date Philip (Justin
Kirk). Allegra pushes the envelope even
further when she starts daring Philip's
ex-girlfriend, Grace (Gretchen Mol).
Allegra's friends disapprove, but chat
doesn't stop Allegra from landing in
a lot of trouble before film's end.
After Maggenti cemented her
fame in rhe lesbian community
with Incredibly True Adventure, she
went on to write ocher screenplays
including The Love Letter, starring
Ellen DeGeneres. I recently spoke to
Maggenti about her film, Sigmund Freud
and cleavage.
"I am definitely
tt
urn some
things upside down such as: What is a
typical heterosexual relationship? For
gay people marriage is transgressive."
woman who are sexy simply because they have big boobies
and Rae rummies.
ideological agenda." What do you think of that? Can a
film be free of that?
Well, were all a product of our historical moments, so theres no
way you can be free of a particular poinr of view.Do I carry a
cudgel on a lot of issues?Personally I do. In my filmI don't; I try
not to. I was more interesred in gender scuff I don't know if you
would call it ideological,but I am definitely trying to turn some
things upside down such as: What is a typical heterosexual
relationship? For gay people, marriage is transgressive.
There are quite a few films out right now, such as Imagine Me & You and April's Shower, where sexual orien-
tation is blind when it comes to love. Is that the best
way to get over the divisiveness with regard to sexual
orientation and love, by making it perfectly natural and
without comment?
No. I chink rhe best way for lesbians, gay men, rransgenders, and
whoever the hell else, to be safe, is to work toward political
justice. I don't chink it really has to do with movies. Movies
come way later than what we deal with on the ground and in
the communities. They're helpful I guess, bur I don't chink
they are necessarily a route towards liberation.
You do not think a movie can reach a much larger audience than a political movement?
I don't chink you can have one without the other. I only exist
because I'm a product of all char hard work lesbians and gay
men did, starting in the 1950s, to allow me to say what I
want to say. The LBGT (sic) community needs to continue
It took you seven years to make the film. Why was it
important to you to make this film?
I wanted to direct another movie. I had this story in me for a long
time, and I needed to get it out of me so I could move on.
How autobiographical is the story?
Ir's autobiographical in that I was a lesbian who fell for a man.
Things got topsy-turvy after that.
think about him and his work?
I chink Freud is one of the greatest thinkers of all time. I've read
every single thing he's ever written.
What do you say to those who accuse him of being a
homophobic misogynist?
Head-feeling and nor heart-feeling right away.
of Allegra. Why was Elizabeth Reaser the right person?
You just have to leave char stuff behind. He's a product of his
environment. I'm interested in ideas of the unconscious and
how they play themselves out.
The character has to be intellectual but the actor who plays her
There is a bit of German philosophy in the film as well.
has to be intuitive. She has to be adorable without being
cure. She needed co have some comic timing. She needed
be sexy in a way char would be appealing to a man and a
woman. Thar poor character had to have so many things go
to
right, and I felt Elizabeth - who came to me literally a week
before shooting - was the right woman for the job.
Who are your favorites?
I studied 19th-century German philosophy. There is an obscure
little guy named Johann Fichte. I've read all of Immanuel
Kant and Friedrich Nietzsche.
The people who you just mentioned have also been accused of being misogynists. How do you negotiate their
What do mean by "She needed to be sexy in a way that
philosophies with their prejudices?
would be appealing to a man and a woman"?
You rake what's useful. I always felt char to not be well educated
does not assist one in one's liberation. If there is indeed a
"Western canon;' I want to know everything about it so I
can fight against it. ■
She had to have just a little of that current butch energy.
And she had to be sexy without the cleavage.
Yes indeed. The majority of American cinema is filled with
Icurve
You ihvoke Freud quite a bit in the film. What do you
What do you think you have in common with Allegra?
I understand it was difficult to cast someone in the role
40
to work on the ground and in their communities to make the
world a safer place.
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KeyWest, FL 33040
September 2006
I41
ROBERTA
MUNROE
Sundance siren Roberta Munroe dishes out the truth about filmmaking. By Laurie K Scherden
With Dani and Alice (featuring Lisa Branch and Yolonda Ross
in the tide roles, along with veteran actors Guinevere Turner and
Honey Labrador), Munroe tackles a subject rarely seen on film: domestic abuse in lesbian relationships.
"I know so many women who are in relationships - you know,
it's a movie so someone's head (is slammed] into a car door. Bue in
real life, lots of people get shoved into a wall or are stopped from
leaving a room or getting out of a car or called a 'fucking bitch:
Those are all levels of violence that we employ in relationships
when we can't negotiate the love that's there:•
Upbeat, funny, intelligent and down-to-earth, Munroe admits a
fondness for Scorch but a resolve to "scayclose co home" and avoid the
whole Hollywood cocktail parry scene she calls"the game:•She also has
a rapid-fire flair for verbalizing her opinions, so that even the F word
sounds less like an obscenity and more like constructive criticism.
While celling it like it is, her hearcfclc advice - covering each
stage of filmmaking from script and casting co the rough cut and
end result - is meant co save filmmakers from at least some of the
As the short film programmer for che Sundance Film Festival che
past five years, Roberta Munroe has watched thousands of films
- more than 4,500 lase year alone. Ir's no surprise then, chat her
own shore, Dani and Alice, would make the cue at 60-some film
festivals over the past year, even though the story of "two black lesbians trying co negotiate rheir love" is Munroe's first attempt as a
writer and director.
A lot of changes are afoot in Munroe's life. She turned 40 this
In the midst of shooting she had to fire a producer, change the
script, carefully budget her limited amount of film and, at rl1elast-minute, change a hospital location when a source at the hospital got fired.
own consulting company for filmmakers, RMM Consulting.
"I know what goes into a great short and what people are
looking for co show at festivals versus what they're looking for co
show online versus what they're looking for to show on television;'
chat I had one of the best DPs [director of photography] in the
world (Geary McLeod]. It was really an exquisite group of people
who came together:·
Nothing is more frustrating co Munroe than watching a film
and seeing how much effort went into it, "and it sucks," she says.
"Often it's the story, or if it's not the scary then it's che performances,
because you hired your girlfriend who can't ace and never could, but
you can't say no and there she is, ruining your movii'
Icurve
other no-budget short film again, (even] with all those resources;• she
says.'Td rather shoot myself in the fucking head than do chat again:'
year, quit a 25-year smoking habit, and left Sundance to rake on
new challenges in the film industry. She's in the midst of writing a
book, Memoirs of a Sundance Programmer, and recently started her
Munroe says. In her book and in her consulting business, she gives
filmmakers "the cold hard faces chat they're not getting from their
friends and film schools and a paid staff'
42
agony chat comes with putting their heart, sweat and money into
making a movie.
And Munroe can empathize. She assumed that with all her expertise, resources and connections in the film industry, making her
own film would be easier. le wasn't.
Even though she won a PlanetOut drama award and the film is
screening at festivals all over the country, "I can't imagine doing an-
"le was crazy;•she remembers. "The one thing chat saved me was
With all the grief involved in making a short film, it seems just
as easy co make a feature so that's what Munroe will do next. She's
working on the script now for Michael and Alice.
"Jc cakes a lot of work in chis medium. Even chat shitty, shoc-onhome-video with so-and-so's friends, you know, bad lesbian porno
movie, cook a lot of time and effort and people and headache:•
Bue along with che hard truths Munroe so bluntly delivers co
Although Munroe doesn't cellpeople what films not to make, she
does have definite opinions about things co avoid."! do talk about rl1e
filmmakers - for their own good - are the optimism and love she
has for the movies.
"le means so much co me; chat's why I'm so passionate about
top cliche moments like [when] the protagonist walks away from the
light and into her dark, dank apartment, and drinks straight from a
Jack Daniels bottle .... Ir's like, oh brother!" she says.
ic;· she says. "I work so hard with filmmakers ... and chis probably
sounds a little (sappy] but I chink chat everybody can make their
dream come true. Maybe you won't rule the film world, but at least
Munroe also rolls her eyes at the glue of coming-out and
breaking-up stories.
"Experimental footage with your whole story of the break.up
with voice-over ... I see char a hundred fucking times a year coo,"
she says. "Unless you're coming at chis scary that we've seen a thousand times and it's very fresh and very innovative and ingenious, it's
you can feel accomplished:'
probably not going co gee out there:·
Get more of Munroe's advice on filmmaking at robertamunroe.com.
And her parting advice as she continues her drive coward the
West Coast sunset? "What I want co cell filmmakers, particularly
women filmmakers, is co don't just cell the story you want co cell
[or] make the film chat people want to see. Try to do both:' ■
NIKKIWEISSANDCAROLE
ANTOURI
Lesbian power couple Nikki Weiss and Carole Antouri build a better entertainment business.
By Dana Kaye
"Hey,
it
cook
Desperate
Housewives how long co gee on
che air?" Ancouri asks. "Timing is
everything:·
They have not given up on their
Bacon series, but they've put it on
the back burner for now. From their
experience at the venue and their
relationship with its performers,
chey began managing Mimi Marks
as well as Candis Cayne, whose
one-woman show just debuted in
New York. Weiss has also judged
numerous cransgender pageants.
'Tm on a panel with rwo gay men
and two drag queens;• Weiss says,
"and people approach me chinking
chat I'm male-co-female!"
Behind every great female impersonator ... are rwo lesbians?
Nikki Weiss, a well-known celebrity representative, opened
her own agency when she was 22. Ac first she mainly represented
filmmakers and producers, bur when Weiss visited the Bacon, a
Chicago-based female impersonator cabaret, she was fascinated
by the women and their stories. She began going every week and
hanging out with the girls after che show.
"Ir's one of che oldest, most successful venues of its kind;' Weiss
says. "I just had co cell its story:'
Weiss and her life partner, Carole Ancouri, envisioned a series
based on the Bacon and its cransgender performers. With Weiss'
background in cheater and film and Ancouri's experience as a much
sought after makeup artist and photographer, they made a great
team, and produced and directed the series pilot themselves.
Bue alchough they were represented by Endeavor, one of the
best talent agencies in the country, their pilot was not picked up.
"The networks were coo scared;' Weiss recalls. "They were
afraid co target a mainstream audience:•
The cransgender performers portrayed on the series live mainstream lives as women and have been embraced by their parents.
After talking with Weiss and
Antouri, it's clear why chey work so
well cogecher, even though they are
in a relationship - a situation chat often leads co more conflicts
than successful collaboration. "We're, complete opposites;· they
both agree. "Bue chat's a good thing. We just synch:' Weiss' sales
skills combined with Antouri's creative talents make for a solid
business relationship.
"We met in L.A. five years ago;• Weiss says. "And as soon as I
saw her, I hid. I knew she was dangerous:• Weiss thought at first
chat Antouri was straight.
"I shook her hand;' Ancouri recalls, "and it was like holding a
dead fish:'
Bue by the end of chat night, Weiss had learned chat Ancouri
was gay, and her perspective on Ancouri changed. She went home
with Ancouri's number in her pocket, and the rest is history.
"My siblings call for her now;· Antouri says. "They don't even
talk co me,jusc say'Puc Nikki on the phone."'
The two admit char because there were no strong lesbian role
models when they were growing up, it cook longer for chem co
come co terms with their sexuality and come out.
"This was before Ellen came out on her show;'Weiss says."Basic
Instinct was my first exposure, and I thought co myself,'Huh, chis is
"We're complete opposites. But that's a good thing. We just synch."
Mimi Marks, one of the Bacon performers, has a family very supportive of her transition who, according co Weiss and Ancouri, JUSt
lee her be the person she always was:· Weiss and Ancouri feel chat
possible:" She was married at 22, but didn't consider the possibility chat she was gay until che age of 24. For Ancouri, coming out
was an even lengthier process. Even though her older sister came
many of these performers are very relacable co mainstream audiences; they have husbands and mortgages, living quite a "normal" life.
Bue the networks wanted none of it; they wanted broken homes
out when Antouri was in her teens, she didn't realize her sexuality
until her lace 20s.
0
and lots of struggle. Bue chis was before the groundbreaking and
critically acclaimed Transamerica hie the big screen. While Weiss
and Ancouri were producing their own series, they had no idea the
film was even being made.
Now they are comfortable with and proud of their lesbian
identity, and were even a featured couple in the Valentine's issue
of O magazine. And although the Bacon pilot has yet co be picked
up, they continue co embark on new endeavors while waiting for
timing co be on their side. ■
September 2006
I43
I
44
Icurve
By LaurieK. Schenden I Photographyby Brie Childers
After her hot role as Dylanon the third season of Showtime'sThe L Word,Alexandra
Hedison heads back to TV this fall with a new show and a renewedzest for life.She
recentlytalked with us about why she's going back in front of the camera after years
of working behind the scenes, and what kind of woman she'd like to date.
Alexandra Hedison sidles up behind a shapely female figure, wrapping her
photographer, Hedison is now out in front, hosting the new reality design
arms around the sweep of the waist and running her hands over the breasts.
show DesigningBlind on A&E. Alchough she is considerate and accommodat-
le might sound like another seduction scene from her recent stint on TheL
Word,bur on chis hoc summer afternoon, Hedison is playfully promising her
ing during the photo shoot, she admits she's used to being behind the scenes.
undying love co a headless mannequin chat she finds during her CURVE photo
T-shirts and sentimental jewelry, including a beaded bracelet from India and
shoot at a Los Angeles studio.
a lovely old woven belc she picked up in Peru.
"11,is is the closest I've gotten to a girl in a long time;• she jokes, with one
arm around her new squeeze.
After working behind the camera for the last five years as a professional
She apologizes for her wardrobe, which is a simple assemblage of jeans,
The photographer looks skeptically at Hedison's baggy jeans with rippedout knees, so Hedison pulls out two more pairs of pants from che pile of cloches
she brought from home. "I have these Levi's, or I have these older Levi's;'she
September 2006
I45
Filh
com
thrau
WWWBrla
says, eager to help. Though her duds may not be
geared to glamour, once she slips into the faded Tshirt and jeans they transform into something utterly chic. The clothes may make the man, but in
this case the woman makes the clothes.
A lanky 5-foot-10-inch woman with striking,
beautiful features, Hedison may look like a model
but she takes a simple approach to fashion, even
cutting her own hair. When the stylist hired for
the shoot pulls out a handled blade, Hedison
grabs the "new toy" and, moments before her photo shoot, begins snipping her own locks. "This is
like a crack pipe for an addict;' she says gleefully.
Since she took on the role of co-hosting
DesigningBlind, Hedison has been able to combine her sense of humor, her acting skills and her
love of architecture, composition and line - all
the things that inspire her photography. The new
reality show, which at press time was set to premiere on Aug. 6 and run for 13 weeks, teams
Hedison with designer Eric B., a blind man who
creates amazing spaces.
While the show might strike reality TV skeptics as a peculiar gimmick, it's captivating to see
B. at work. A gay man who lost his sight due to
complications from HIV, he takes a room and creates something beautiful and functional, assisted
by an astute intuition and some nifty tools, such as
a talking tape measure and a tool that reads blueprints with the help of bar codes.
"It's not a typical show, and they weren't looking
for a typical hose;• Hedison says, explaining what
drew her to the project. "Really, everything I've been
doing, especially in the last couple of years - it's
just like I'm following my instincts on everything .
. . . And I just really liked him; I immediately felt a
connection to him and I like what he's doing. The
show is ultimately about following your instincts'.'
Hedison's instincts for keeping things simple
inform many aspects of her life. You can see it in
her clothes, her environment and her attitudes
about people. "Don't get me wrong;· she interjects.
"Luxury is a lovely thing. But when your entire life
is about all these things that you've accumulated,
it's really depressing. I've certainly been around
people like that. They are constantly consuming
because they are desperately searching for what's
Hedison doesn't show as much skin
on DesigningBlind as she did on The L
Word but viewers will finallyget to see
her being herself. "It's about as me as
I've ever been on camera," she says.
going to make them feel better'.'
Although Hedison willingly left a successful
acting career several years ago because she wasn't
happy in it, she decided to return to acting last year
when Showtime's The L Word offered her a chance
to audition. She knew several people connected to
the show, but another reason for pursuing the role
was to get a little relief from the publicity over her
split with Ellen DeGeneres.
The set of The L Word was "a healthy environment;' and the cast members, especially Rachel
Shelley (Helena), were an inspiring and supportive
48
Icurve
group. "I wasn't in great shape emotionally when I
started working on that show;• Hedison says. But
not only was she embraced by the right-knit cast, her
populariry in the role of hot documentary filmmaker
Dylan Moreland, who spins Helena's head and rocks
her bed, put Hedison back on an acting track.
Near the end of her ti me on the show, she had
a big decision to make. A producer friend who was
aware of Hedison's eye for design, as well as her
keen comic timing, asked her to audition for the
hostingjob of DesigningBlind. Hedison had been
a regular on the series L.A. Fire.fighters
in 1996,
had a recurring role on Prey with Debra Messing,
and had roles on numerous other TV shows, but it
was photography that inspired her. However, after
hearing her producer friend describe Designing
Blind, Hedison was intrigued and decided to audition. She got the part, and her ad-lib humor
and sexy sidekick persona are a great complement co B.'s designing talents.
"It's James Bond;' Hedison says of the oddly
authoritative voice that comes from B:s tape measure, adding:"It also comes in Beyonce (Knowles]:'
In one segment of DesigningBlind, Hedison talks
about the importance of trust with a female participant who, like all the show's homeowners,
remains blindfolded throughout the selection of
materials and ocher design choices, forcing her co
use her non-visual senses. "I trust you;• the woman
says sweetly - and rather na'ively - as Hedison
waves a sculpture at the woman's head. "As you
should;' Hedison deadpans.
"Someone's gotta make jokes about the face
chat a blind man is doing the interior design, my
God!" Hedison exclaims. "I mean, if he wasn't so
damn good at it, I probably couldn't.'' Hedison
doesn't show as much skin on DesigningBlind as
she did on TheL Word (unless the producers come
up with some sort of hoc cub edition of Designing
Blind),but viewers will gee to see her being herself:
funny, a bit goofy, conscientious, inquisitive, stylish and beautiful. "It's about as me as I've ever been
on camera," she says.
The "real" Hedison
might seem co be a
series of contradictions. Raised in the shadow
of Hollywood, her father, David Hedison, is an
actor from the popular 1960s television series
Voyageto the Bottom of the Sea, and more recently
a soap scar on Another World and The Young and
the Restless.Bue her upbringing wasn't all about
spoclights and glamour.
Her youth in the 1970s was spent in a tiny,
one-bedroom beach house in Malibu. "This was
when Malibu was - this is the only time you'll
hear me say chis word - magical!" Hedison says.
"le wasn't overly developed. We had a pullout
couch where my parents slept at night. My sister
and I had the bedroom. And there was a round
dining room table. Ac night they would have the
"I seem to be attracted to blondes. I'm
not sure what that's about, but when
I look back that does seem to be the
case. Maybe ... after all this internal
examination all of a sudden I won't be
attracted to blondes."
September 2006
I49
most raucous, fun dinner parties:• She remembers
Roger Moore, Joan Collins and Ursula Andress
among the guests. Later they moved to a modest
home in Beverly Hills, where her parents still live.
Her mother instilled in her the notion that "you
don't bring a lot of attention to yourself;' Hedison
says. "And the quality of your life comes down to
your friends and your family. Not that job or how
many famous people you know:•
A chance meeting with Lauren Hutton on
a plane to New York solidified this attitude in
Hedison. Hutton was dressed simply in jeans and
a white T-shirt. "She was so beautiful;' Hedison
recalls. "She was also beautiful because she's traveled all over the world and she's interesting and
she's interested. She's thinking about a whole lot of
things other than just the jeans and white T-shirt
that were on her body that morning:'
While Hedison emphasizes that she does like
nice things, she tries to make an effort to focus on
what's real and what's important in life. That's why
she chose the home she bought more than a year
ago. "At the time I was looking it was only like two
months after my breakup with Ellen and I was living in a hotel, so I didn't have anywhere to live. I was
needing to put myself somewhere. I made the decision to look for a place. It was the right decision:•
What she found was a little house in the hills
cl1atwas built in 1955 by an artist who lived there
until he died about four years ago. "It's almost like
an artist's studio. If nothing else it's authentic;• she
says. "When my parents came to see the house, my
dad looks around and sees the cracks in the walls
and he says, 'Well, these cracks are authentic: He
was horrified that I was buying it."
But the house is a good fit for Hedison. "There's
nothing sleek or modern or flashy about it at all;'
she says. "It's very practical."
And she doesn't plan to share that home anytime soon. In fact, throughout our day together,
every time she mentions a friend with whom she
did this or that - any friend - she clarifies, "Not a 'special friend:"
And, she adds, "It never hurts when someone is really sexy:·
After I bring this to her attention, she says, "See how resistant I am?''
'Tm not kidding;· she insists."! am literally not dating .... I don't think I'm
ready. I feel like I really am kind of working on the relationship with myself'
Later, when we chat over tofu vegetarian burgers she recommends at a
nearby restaurant ('Tm really not that healthy;• she claims), she's comfortable
Hedison, while still cautious, appears to be in a good place. She has her
own space, a TV show, close friends and family who love her, and another
talking about what qualities she will be looking for when she does date. "I
seem to be attracted to blondes. I'm not sure what that's about, but when I
since Dylan turned Helena's life upside down, Helena has been a much more
likable character.
"My character sort of redeemed her;' Hedison says, laughing. "My character made her look nice!"
look back that does seem to be the case;• she says with a laugh. "Maybe all
the work I'm doing will somehow change that ... like, after all this internal
examination all of a sudden I won't be attracted to blondes:•
photography show in the planning stages. She's even open to a return to The L
Word - if she's asked and her time pennies. There were definitely some loose
ends between her character, Dylan, and Shelley's Helena. Hedison notes that
When I ask her if she and DeGeneres will ever be friends, she answers
Though she isn't attracted to a particular physical type, "I really, really love
someone who knows how to communicate:• She also likes people who can get
things done. "Someone who is helpless - that's an unbelievably unattractive
quality for me. Whether it's where to park or making a reservation somewhere,
now, we would make each other laugh, I'm sure. A big part of our relationship
was friendship .... I don't know, we'll see:•
making a decision - a lot of people, especially women sometimes, they just
don't know how to take initiative or just make things happen. I find that I do
that a lot, so it's nice when someone can do that for me:•
Other than the projects already in the works, I wonder aloud if she has a
"plan for life:' She answers readily, with her typically dry sense of humor."Yes!
It's to come up with a really good plan:· ■
soIcurve
thoughtfully,"! hope so. Ifl ran into her right now, I'd be like,'Oh my gosh, hi!'
You know, I'm sure she'd make me laugh .... Truly, if we saw each other right
Losinga Lesbian
Having a gay daughter was easy. Having a son took some getting used to. I By Jo Eager
Ac age 15, my daughter came out as a lesbian. No surprise there. When 19
rolled around, she informed me she was changing her name to some offche-wall name I'd never heard of - Caoinlean Caleb. "Is it a male or female
name?" I asked."Unisex;• she replied. As a female named Jo, I'm not sure why
When we talked a few days later, she told me she'd already been living as
a guy for close to a year - a standard part of the process in order to obtain
I bothered asking. Maybe subconsciously, I saw what was coming.
"I wanted to choose my own name, something chat has meaning to me;• she
cold me. She's part Irish and said she picked Irish names because she wanted
to get in touch with her roots. Caoinlean, she told me, means "of beautiful
shape" and Caleb stands for "faithful:' (I didn't take the name change personally, but I was responsible for the beautiful birth name of Rachael.)
went to San Francisco co have chest surgery; removal of her large D-cup
breasts. And here I am lucky to fill an A cup. Life really is ironic, isn't it?
Less than a year after the name change, I received an e-mail from my
daughter, whom I now refer to as Caleb. We live in different states and sometimes don't see each ocher for several months. It was a short note bur by the
time I finished it, I was reading through a blur of tears.
"Hi Mom,
I need to tell you something and I thought it would be best to
e-mailyou so that you couldprocessit beforewe talk. I know you've
always said that you want your children to be happy. and there is
one thing in particular that I need right now in order to be happy.
male hormones.
A few months after the e-mail, s/he started taking male hormones and
He has a large scar from surgery. Hair is growing on his chest. He has new
nipples. He shaves his face instead of his legs.
In the interest of keeping chings humorous, he gave me a greeting card for
newborns: "Congratulations! It's a boy." It was a sweet card with his recognition chat I had a lot to deal with, coo, in this decision he'd made. "Thanks for
all of your support. I'm really proud of how you've been handling everything;•
he wrote.
It's still a rough transition crying to remember "he'' versus "she;• to see my
former daughter now as a guy with a beard sitting at the breakfast cable without a shirt on. It's difficult crying to explain things co my other child, who was
7 when all of this started. His nickname for Rachael was "sissy:•
Sometimes I'm in the middle of celling a story from years ago when he was
a she and I wonder: Do I refer to my son or my daughter? He was a she back
Sometimes I'm in the middle
of telling a story from years
ago when he was a she and
I wonder: Do I refer to my
son or my daughter?These
things aren't covered in
Parenting101.
You know I've always been a tomboy, but it is more than that. I
was born into the wrong body, and I need to fix that now. I hope
you can understand that. If you have questions about it, you can
ask me. Love you."
Agony is the word chat comes closest to describing how I felt in chat
moment. Tears Rowed for a few seconds before the sound of pain escaped my
throat. The next few days were consumed with heartache and more tears. I
went online and started researching in an attempt to understand. I read that
up to 30 percent of the transgender population deals with this issue by committing suicide. Ac least my kid had the courage and strength co do what she
felt was necessary to be true co herself - which could be keeping her alive.
Or should I say him? It took a few days before I responded to the e-mail from
"my little girl:'
"Dear Rachael,
I'm strugglingright now andfeeling a lot of pain. It's a grieving
process;a loss.I do have many questions and in trying to understand I went online to do some research.I will wait with my questions until we talk. You know I loveyou no matter what. I hopeyou
can understand how painful and difficult this isfor a mother. We
are not our bodies;we are souls.
Love, Mom
then. I'm talking to someone and can't remember if they chink I have a daughter or a son. These things aren't covered in Parenting 101. It can be confusing.
Whom in your life do you share chis information with?
Questions pop in my head and even if my new son chinks they're weird,
he's kind enough to reply.
"Is your sex drive now like chat of an 18-year-old guy versus a 20-year-old
woman?" Yes.
"Did you take a sudden interest in sports after starting hormones?" No.
My younger son asked if Caleb is better at playing catch now.
Of course my transgender child is che same person, with the same soul.
While he seems to have completely transitioned, I'm not quite there. There
are times I tell people I have a daughter.
Although heartbroken when I received the e-mail from my then-daughter, I knew I had only one choice: acceptance. There are times when "hey,
girl" slips out of my mouth. It's a conscious effort still to say "he'' and "him:• I
assume someday it'll become second nature. Yes, I have a son now, but I see
pictures of what was once my baby girl. While I'm still adjusting, my love is
constant. I loved her as my daughter; I love him as my son. I do want him
co be happy, even if it means a sex change. I admit, though, chat I do have
occasional moments when I still wish my son was a lesbian. ■
September 2006
I53
How to Respect
a Transsexual
Person
Face it, we can all use a little respect these days. The basic facts about transsexual and
transgender people aren't taught in classrooms or at lesbian clubs, so here's a handy guide from
the queer, nerdy girl and linguistics buff behind Kisa.ca. I By Sonja Elen Kisa
What is transsexual~ Transsexual people are people who desire to have, or
have achieved, a different physical sex from that which they were assigned
at birth. There are many other flavors of genderqueer and transgender people our there, and sometimes there exists cultural overlap between trans
people and drag performers. Much of the information below - written
in the voice of a trans person - refers to transsexuals, but some can be
applied co cransgender or genderqueer folks as well.
The Basics
Accept me as a full-fledged person of the gender I identify as.
Always use the language that corresponds to my gender identity, even if
my body doesn't seem to match and even when talking about my past.
If you are still adjusting, it's normal to make mistakes. Don't draw attention to it by saying"sorry:' Just correct yourself and carry on.
If I identify as male, never use female-marked words (like waitress,
breasts, vagina) to describe anything about me, and vice versa. Don't call
me "female-bodied;' unless I use that term mysel£
Gender identity has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Whether I am
attracted to men, women, both or neither is a totally separate thing from
whether I am male or female. For example, if I am a trans girl who likes
girls, treat me no differently than any other lesbian.
Don't expect me to conform to the stereotypes of my gender. I'll wear
whatever clothes I like and have whatever interests I have. Being mas-
according to my gender identity.
Don't introduce me as four "transsexual" friend. Don't ask me co explain
my life story or my gender situation to people I just met.
Don't refer to people who are our as trans as "honesc:· Being our may be
honest co whom they are, bur being stealth is just as honest for those who
do not identify with being trans. There is nothing deceptive about not
disclosing one's trans status.
The Nature of Gender
Gender comes from the way our brain, mind and/or soul are configured,
not from che body. Chromosomes, hormones or upbringing do nor determine or change a person's gender.
The only person who can know about one's gender is oneself. No external
"clues" can prove or disprove somebody's true inner gender. Some people
knew ic their entire lives. Some manage to deny it for a long rime. Some
always knew there was something different.
Don't call a nontranssexual woman a "real girl:'
About Labels
Do not confuse transsexuality with cross-dressing. Cross-dressers simply
enjoy wearing clothing typically associated with the opposite sex, sometimes for sexual or fetishized reasons.
culine or feminine (i.e., having mannerisms or interests that are seen by
society as stereotypical of one gender) has nothing to do with being male
or female (i.e., identifying as a certain gender). Butch trans women and
Do not confuse transsexual people with drag queens or kings. Drag performers wear elaborate and often stereotypical clothes to perform a particular gender, often for stage or show or to do impersonations.
The term "cransgender" is an umbrella term that includes any and all
feminine trans guys exist,just like they do among noncranssexual people.
I am a person foremost. If you muse use the word "transsexual" (or "trans"),
gender variant people: transsexual people, cross-dressers, drag kings and
queens, intersex, genderqueer and bigender people, and many other types.
use it as an adjective to describe people, not as a noun unto itself, saying
"trans people;"'trans folks" or "trans guys" as opposed to just "cransgenders:'
Be careful when using ic. For example, many transsexual people don't like
co be associated with cross-dressers.
The shore form "trans" can mean either transsexual or transgender.
The term "cranny" is slang. Many feel that it is offensive, on a par with che
N word. As such, use it with much caution, if at all.
The preferred term for somebody who is not transsexual in most circles
nowadays is "nontrans:' Many people find terms like "bio boy" or "genetic
girl" insulting, because trans people also have biology and genes.
The term "she-male'' is always offensive. Ir is used by the porn industry to
About My Transition
Use the word "transition" to describe what I am going through or what I
went through.
Don't openly talk about my genitals any more chan you would with a nontrans person, unless I bring up che topic myself.
Don't immediately assume that genital sex reassignment surgery is my
priority. Every person is unique and chooses different steps during their
transition. Not everyone wants or can afford sex reassignment surgery.
Social Situations
Please don't tell anyone I am transsexual without my permission - even
if they are, too. Just calk about me like any ocher normal guy or girl,
54 I curve
objectify and fetishize pre-operative transsexual women.
If we're getting intimate, ask me about my boundaries or if I have any
specific terms I prefer to use about parts of my body. For example, many
trans guys call the organ between their legs a dick, regardless of whether
it's been operated on.
If I Just Came Out
If I have just come our about my gender, you should use my new name
and pronouns with me and anyone who knows about me, especially with
people who are still struggling to adjust to my correct gender.
Allow me to tell people about my gender identity and my transition at my
own pace. ■
So Your •.•.•·..\Friend
Is Nowa~~e
KissMe, Kate
Kare Bornstein, author, performance artist, playwright and transsexual trailblazer,
released her fourth book, Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens,
Freaks and Other Outlaws, chis July. Her ocher books include Gender Outlaw and
My Gender Workbook. - Dana Kaye
What inspired you to write Hello, Cruel World?
The book is payback co the dykes and fags and drag queens and S/M players
who welcomed me and kept me safe when I was a 45-year-old baby freak. I'd
(wanted] to write the book for some time, but my tipping point was the death
of Jake Barker, 22-year-old son of Dragon Xcalibur, a matriarch of today's
Seattle dyke community. What a sweet, good guy Jake was; everyone loved
him ... and he killed himself A child - a child of our loving community
- feeling so much pain chat there's no choice but death:' I was living on the
Ease Coast and I felc so helpless. So I starred writing. I figured, I'm an elder
and a published author; I have a voice. I decided to be mama lion and make
sure these children of our community are welcomed and safe.
For the form of the book, I cook radical beat poet Tuli Kupferberg's comedic Zen
socialise text 1001 Ways to Live Without Working and I wrote 101 Alternatives
to Suicide. Listing out the alternatives was easy; bur reliving the rimes I needed
chem to save my own life was more difficult. My editor and publisher were
phenomenal, directing me to continually open the book up co teens and ocher
freaky, outlaw readers who might not be LGBTQ How does the lesbian/ dyke
world speak to the outside world/ le was a challenge to write in a language chat
can describe and unite our diverse lives.
I understand you have an upcoming memoir project?
Ir's a book and a solo show about daddy ... being a daddy to my estranged daughter, being a son to my daddy. Ir's about the "Good Daddy" archetype rhar only
butch dykes and a few men, like Gregory Peck, seem able to pull off. My father
was a good man, but he wasn't "Good Daddy:• Ir's called Kate Bornstein Is a
Queer and Pleasant Danger. I'm doing my best to write from a space of"Good
Daddy;• with love for love.
Maybe it's your friend, your muff buddy or your wife of 15
years (trust me, it happens), but suddenly a woman you
know quite well reveals that she's really a man. Coming
out as an FTM is hard work, but it can be equally difficult for the lesbians left behind. You've got questions,
but you're not quite sure if it's even OK to ask them (it is,
by the way).
You may turn to the Internet - that liberated bastion of
information - for advice. Unfortunately, when it comes to
transgender issues, navigating the Web, which is chockfull of misinformation, can be dicey. Here are a few handy
Web sites that will help you understand what's going on.
FTM International (ftmi.org) is the leading organization for female-to-male transsexuals and offers a wealth
of info through its newsletters, publications, and monthly
meetings and events. The Web site is aimed at folks all
along the transgender-transsexual continuum (post-op,
pre-op, non-op, don't even know what op is) as well a_s
their supporters, and for good basic info to send to your
mom, this site is your best friend.
Some of the biggest questions about transitioning that
FTMs often get (well, their partners get it) are about their
new bodies: Will he have surgery? What kind of surgery?
What will that look like? It's rude and intrusive, but it's the
honest-to-God first thing a lot of folks want to know. If
you want to know the difference between
a chest recon,,.,
struction and a gender mastectomy, or a metoidioplasty
and a phalloplasty, Transster.com and Loren Cameron's
Man Tool (lorencameron.com/mantool) both offer real
photos and real surgery information. Transster is a photo
repository of FTM gender reassignment surgeries that's
password-protected to weed out the fetishists. Man
Tool, from acclaimed photographer Loren Cameron, is
actually an e-book that addresses the pressing and intimate questions that we have about plastic surgery options
for female-to-male transsexuals. More than 40 lovingly
collected photos from Cameron, an FTM himself, offer up
more than just surgical body modifications but also firstperson stories about the subject's experiences, surgery
and sexual sensation. It's graphic and not for kids, but it
helps you quickly adjust to what some FTMs experience.
TheTransitionalMale.com is an education support
site for transmen and their families, as well as butches
and genderqueers. It offers photos and information on
transmen on TV, legislation that affects FTMs and other
trans resources, like a Big Brothers Binder program.
And if the just-out transgender person in your life happens to be a lesbian-identified male-to-female? Well, resources are a little scant, but try GenderTalk.com, the
Web site of Nancy Nangeroni's Gender Talk Radio - a
trans activism tool and info archive for all aspects of gender, from cross-dressing to transfeminists to plain ol'
queers. - Diane Anderson-Minshall
For more i1iformation about Kate Bornstein, go to hellocrnelworld.net.
September 2006
I 55
GoingUnderthe Knife
As more transgenderfolks gain visibility,some people wonder if medical transitionis always the
best option.
By AllisonSteinberg
"Genderidentityis the sense of belongingthat one
feels for a particularsex, not only biologicallybut also
psychologically
and socially.This is independentof one's
biologicalsex which is simplydecided on the basisof
the organsbetweenthe legs."- Andrology.com
Almost 30 years after Stonewall, "T" is becoming a
stronger letter under the LGBT umbrella. Increased
visibility has set the stage for a transgender community that now has its own organizations, health care
facilities, meeting places and even parties, though
the struggle for equal treatment in society at large is
still in its infancy. One uneasy discussion that never
seems to make it to the dinner table yet is whispered
about among even supportive dykes, is about those
who may have misidentified. With the visibility of
transgender identity gaining momentum, are there
some who mistakenly undergo medical transition?
The lack of research available is symptomatic of
the plight of transgender individuals overall; little
research in any field offers a comprehensive study
about the lives of those whose gender is different
from their birth sex, much less those who identify
in different places along the gender spectrum. The
American Psychiatric Association estimates one
in every 30,000 biological males and one in every
100,000 biological females are transgender, but no
comprehensive survey has ever been conducted to
paint an accurate landscape.
"Being born a transsexual is not a choice anymore than being born with blue or brown eyes is a
choice. The only choice in the matter is whether to
transition or not. For many of us, including me, such
a decision is truly a life-or-death choice;' says MTF
Jill Jay, a member of Trans-Academics.org, which
offers a list-serve where transgender people exchange academic discourse. The decision to transition for most people is intrinsically the correct
one, though some find themselves on the other
end of a sometimes irreversible mistake.
But, "It is possible to be influenced with a
therapist encouraging you to transition. There is
also peer pressure, and people do a lot to fit in,"
says Robin Dea, M.D., a psychiatrist and regional
director for mental health services at Northern
California Kaiser Permanente.
Dayna Kravitz, born and raised in Queens,
N.Y., came out as a loud, proud lesbian at age 14.
Just before her high school graduation, she cut her
56 Icurve
hair very short and for the next few years, people
often mistook her for a guy.
"When I went into the woman's bathroom I got,
'Sir you don't belong here,' so I started hiding my
breasts and using the men's bathroom;• Kravitz says.
Ar age 20, Dayna became AJ and asked close
friends to switch to masculine pronouns when
referring to her. Kravitz went to intake at CallenLorde, a health care facility that caters to the LGBT
community, and met with a therapist about starring
hormone treatment to begin transition into a man.
Though she ultimately decided against hormones
(and again prefers female pronouns), Kravitz underwent an emotional transition and began to selfidentify as a transgender man.
Kravitz's mom - a far more understanding
woman than many parents of transfolks - even
signed her child's 21st birthday card, "With love
to AJ:'Though the transition made it easier for
Kravitz to face both the mainstream world and
most of her friends in the trans world, she still
didn't feel safe or comfortable.
From Thinkingto Doing
Most who wish to transition first go to a therapist for
evaluation. The therapist, ideally, will be an objective party who helps the candidate decide whether
transitioning is really for her. Though transitioning is not a simple process, for some people it can
be easier to do than one may think.
In some areas, a person can get a prescription
for hormone treatment after three months of psychotherapy, though there are exceptions in which
a therapist may approve hormones earlier. And
sometimes, people fall victim to unlicensed therapists or those who are out of touch with the needs
of their transgender patients.
Dea reveals that she"had an FTM patient who
clearly felt she was a lesbian who, at one time, got
romantically involved with a transgender person:·
The patient started seeing her partner's therapist
(whom she later found our was not licensed) who
misdiagnosed her. The patient then went on to get
a bilateral mastectomy only to regret it months
later and went back under the knife to receive an
augmentation mammoplasty (breast augmentation) to undo the original surgical work.
"For people who are midway in that gender
continuum, neither male nor female, one has to be
very careful with time spent, therapy and investigations of the body;' Dea says.
Generally, after a year of living full time in the
new gender role, the candidate can be approved
for surgery - or denied. But being denied is not
the end of the story. Not all doctors are as scrupulous as the Callen-Lorde staff. Trans questioning
patients can often find a surgeon who will perform
sex reassignment surgery if the price is right.
''As long as you've got money, you can have
all the surgery you wane;' Josef Kirchner says.
Kirchner, 42, is an extreme case. Since December
1983, Kirchner has shelled out roughly $100,000
for therapy, hormone treatment and surgery to
make Josef into Judy.
"Things were good for some years as I chased
the dream of fitting into society as a woman;' he
says in an online diary he created to document his
journey. However, in lace 1998, Kirchner realized
chat he didn't feel right living as a woman. Dealing
with the ramifications of the indelible body alterations and psychological trauma of his decision,
Kirchner is now back to living as a man.
The path coward sex reassignment surgery is
long and somewhat complicated. First and foremost, it involves rhe strong personal belief rhac it
I'm a Believer
When lesbian producer Beth Burkhart set out to make The Believers, her new documentary about
the world's first all-cransgender gospel choir, with director Todd Holland and executive producer
Nicole Miller, none of chem had made a feature-length film before. Funding, she says, was the hardest part. After its premiere at San Francisco's Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, The Believers is now in
search of a distributor. CURVEcaught up with Burkhart, transgender choir member Prado Gomez
and his lesbian partner of 13 years, Mariili Sparks, co talk about gender, lesbian policies and, oh
yeah, rhe movie. - Ariane Conrad
Did you have a lot of connections to the trans community before you made this film?
is indeed physical alteration chat would make the
person feel right in his or her own body. Bue char is
not as easy co determine as it may sound. Culcural
Sparks:No, I didn't. I chink there is a lot of commonality between lesbians and gays, who are still
marginalized, with the trans community, which is really marginalized.
constructs of gender can cause a serious case of
mistaken personal identity.
Dea offers three criteria chat therapists should
follow when helping patients decide whether sur-
Burkhart:My first real crush on a transgender person was - I met her through the film too, because
we interview her in the film - Shawna Virago. Oh my God, she's so hoc.
Sparks:She is. I want to be Shawna.
gery is the right way to go. Make sure the person
is transsexual and chis is not just another gender
issue; make sure the person is motivated and prepared for the transition; and make sure the per-
Gomez:Yes. The founder of the choir, Ashley, is male-to-female, ~d she's lesbian. The musical
son is psychologically stable, so chat she or he can
withstand the stages of transitioning.
Changing standards char have made surgery
easier co obtain, misdiagnoses of doctors, and social
Burkhart:I guess, across the board it was shocking how uninformed people were about gender identity issues. People consistently asked us to step back and define things and explain basic things
about transitioning and identities. And che director, Todd, he was clear chat he didn't wane co
make it so much of a, he calls it a"Trans 101" film, because there are enough films now our there
doing chat .... Instead, we really wanted rhis to be a filmabout the humanity of these people in
the choir. How they're complex and ordinary people just like anyone else,just like straight people
and just like lesbians.
pressures from gay and transgender peers can make
judgment difficult. Any of rhe three can create utter
disillusionment. The combination of all three can
resulc in an irreversible mistake.
According co a survey by T rans-Academics.org
founder Eli R. Green, "Bartling rhe Trans-Enough
Blues;• 62.8 percent of 238 people surveyed answered "yes" to feeling "not 'trans-enough:" When
asked what they thought might contribute co such
feeling, 81.2 percent cited "Comparing yourself to
ocher people in the trans community"; 62.1 percent cited "Noc being on hormones"; 55.4 percent
cited "Noc having had top surgery:• In addition,
20.8 percent responded char they felt pressure
from the trans community to undergo surgery.
Of chose who were not happy with their current gender identity, 12.5 percent have re-evaluated
their hormonal or surgery choices. These results are
indicative char some people, especially transgender
youth, may feel pressure to act on transitioning,
whether it is right for tl1em or nor.
One of the anonymous survey respondents
admitted feeling frustrated by "the impossibility of
Going Under continued on page 72
Who was your first transwoman crush?
Are there any people in the choir who identify as lesbian?
director is lesbian, too, although she's not trans. Some choir members really don't like chose labels,
though, and you can find just about any sexual preference and everyone goes every which way.
How have lesbians responded to the film?
Mariah, you and Prado talk about your relationship in the film.
Sparks:Well, we had a six-year relationship as a lesbian couple.
Does the world perceive you as straight now?
Sparks:Oh, yeili, it really pisses me off. Yes, he reads as male, and yes, I read as female; how convenient for everyone to just assume we're heterosexual. I identify as queer. I feel like rhac invisibility
piece is something chat's really frustrating for me. Ic always has been, as a femme. And now it's
even more so. I haven't lost queer identity; people have lose it on me. Bue I assert myself as I always
have had co as a femme .... I can't shock people by saying"my girlfriend" because chat doesn't work.
What's been hard and, frankly, the most hurtful is when people in the queer community take away
my queer identity. Sure, yes, we now have straight privilege and I recognize chat. There are sacrifices chat you make to be whole and happy, and being identified as queer is one rhac we made.
What do you hear from other queers about their concerns?
Gomez:
Of the ocher fears I've heard from butches is chat ... everyone's going to transition and butches
are kind of like an endangered species. And I feel like chat's a totally legitimate concern. There have
been ocher times in queer history when butches have been pushed back into the closet. Butches
have been under the radar - butches and femmes together - because ... being extremely feminine
is not feminise; being extremely masculine is not feminise.... If people tl1ink I became a man co
escape homophobia as a butch, I can cellchem, the homophobia I experience now chat some people
chink chat I'm a fag is so scary.... The homophobia I experienced as a butch compared with what I
experience as a perceived fag is like night and day. It's all dangerous, it's all scary.... It's not fucking
fun. And so in the end, I escape from nothing. ■
September 2006
I57
It Takesa Femme
Two lesbian filmmakers tackle a different kind of gender identity in their new film
FtF: Female to Femme. I By Heather Boerner
When Elizabeth Stark came our as femme around
1989, she was going against everything her feminist mother had taught her. She had wanted Stark
to play football, grow our her leg hair and nor wear
makeup - in not so many words, be butch.
"For me, it was a form of rebellion;' recalls
Stark, now 35. "I remember being drawn to very
traditional presentations of femininity:' Today, she
wears a faux-wrap top in earth tones chat compliment her shoulder-length dark hair. Bue for Stark
and for many ocher femmes, they come to their
skirts and heels and makeup (or boots and closeficcingjeans and tattoos - or some combination of
the two) after careful chought about their gender
presentation. Femme isn't just a great way to catch
a girl's eye ac the bar. Ir's a gender, and, for Stark,
becoming femme is just as rhoughcful and complicated a process as coming our butch or trans.
Stark's own experience, as well as chose of
some famous femmes like actor Guinevere Turner,
author Jewelle Gomez and musician Birch, are the
centerpiece of FtF: Female to Femme, a documentary chat had its world debut at the Frameline
LGBT Film Festival in San Francisco in June. Co-directed by Kami Chisholm,
FtF asks femmes to discuss their gender presentation using the language of
transition. Ir's one of the first of its kind, the filmmakers say.
-
The results, they say, are fascinating.
"Our documentary is a documentary in the same way a femme is a girl
yeah, chat's where it starts, bur it does a lot more with it, and goes to more
interesting places;· Stark says, grinning. 'J\nd like femmes, I chink the documentary has to reach its viewers how to watch it, how to understand ic:·
Bue it's nor all identity policies; Chisholm jokes char it's "cits and theory;'
since the documentary is full of burlesque as a form of femme expression and
sexuality. And while it's not about femmes in relation co butches, Chisholm,
who identifies as burch, says her butch friends are as excited to see strong,
interesting femmes as femmes are to see themselves in the film.
"What I hear from butches is a lot of excitement about the film because
they love femmes. What I hear is, 'Femmes, yes, I want to see anything having to do with femmes. Femmes are gorgeous. I love femmes!"' she explains,
chuckling and hunching forward slighrly."For me, chis documentary is interesting. On the surface, it seems like I'm making a film char isn't about me. Bur
... what chis film is doing is talking about gender issues chat are so central to
my being walking through the world. I'm not femme, but the issues of who
assumes who is what gender and how, all feel very relevant to me as a butch:'
Indeed, the documentary is meant co open a new dialogue in rhe discussion of gender in the lesbian community. Boch Stark and Chisholm felt the
documentary was long overdue as the valorizarion of female masculinity has
rendered female femininity all bur invisible. Boch women hope the film will
femme, both in its personal and political forms. Stark is a novelist and
author of Shy Girl, which came our in 1999 and was a Lambda Literary
Award finalise. Stark teaches writing and has performed from New York to
San Francisco. In face, she got the idea for the documentary three years ago,
when she convened a panel of'phenomenal femmes" for a one-night-only performance and discussion of femmeness. Currenrly finishing her second book,
Stark has starred on a third. Her next book, she says, will play with the line
between aurobiography and fiction, and was prompted in part by her experience making FtF.
Chisholm, a filmmaker who is receiving her doctorate in history of consciousness from UC Santa Cruz, teaches about gender, sexuality, and queer
"I'm not femme, but the issuesof who
assumeswho is what gender and how,
all feel very relevantto me as a butch."
and feminise studies at San Francisco Scare University. In 2004, they made
the short documentary Conversations with Elizabeth's Father, about Stark's
father's failing health. After FtE Chisholm is setting her sights on making
a short fictional film about butch and trans identity. She's drawn to char, she
says, because so many documentaries have plumbed the depths of burch or
scare a discussion and inspire more documentaries about what it means to
trans experiences, but few films have cackled the subject together.
'Tm interested in what isn't getting explored and what isn't getting documented;' she says.
As for FtF, Chisholm says she hopes people will chink it's funny and sexy
present oneself as femme.
Stark and Chisholm are great women to cackle chis issue. They love
and makes chem chink.
Stark adds, "Kind of like a femme:' ■
58 / curve
10
GenderDocumentaries
. Must-See
.
Transamerica got filmgoers talking about the New
Trans Cinema of recent years. Bur beyond mustsee features (Boys Don't Cry, Soldier's Girl) are
some trans docs that are worthy of note.
Enough Man: Luke Woodward's fearless and
compelling trans porn documentary explores body
image, relationships and sex from the perspective
of nine transmen and their partners. (lukewood
whether transitioning from female to male is con-
ward.net)
gruent with feminist principles. (boyiam.com)
Audrey's
Beard:
Almost
anything
from
Native, trans filmmaker Alec Buder is worthy of
note, bur Audrey's Beard succinccly captures the
transition from butch dyke to transman in two
minutes. (E-mail madlobster@rogers.com
more information.)
TransGeneration: This eight-part series about
four transitioning college kids is now on DVD.
(sundancechannel.com/ transgeneration)
Sir: Just a Normal Guy: Melanie La Rosa fol-
The Aggressives: Although che people in this
lows Jay Snider over the course of 15 months during his transition from female to male. Interviews
for
documentary are not technically trans, chis illu-
Detached: Gentry McShane's four-minute film
features a young genderqueer named Adrian who
discusses his/her experience with the intersections between sex work and gender identity.
minating film about New York lesbians living as
"aggressives"says much about gender in America.
(image-entertainment.com)
100% Woman: This adrenaline-fueled doc folBoy I Am: Sam Feder and Julie Hollar's compelling new doc features FTMs in various stages
of transition as well as lesbians who question
Transparent: Jules Rosskarn's riveting film features female-to-male transsexuals who struggle
with the challenge of raising their children while
transitioning. (transparentthemovie.com)
lows MTF bike champ Michelle Dumaresq as she
becomes the first transgender athlete on a national
team. (l00percentwoman.com)
with Snider's ex-husband and lesbian partner are
remarkably moving. (octopus.filmvideo.com)
A Boy Named Sue: This fascinating doc chronicles the transformation of Theo from a woman to a
man over the course of six years, including the effect
of his transition on his lesbian lover and their friends.
Easily one of the best ,films on the FTM experience.
(wmm.com)- Diane Anderson-Minshall
,Most FrequentlyAskedTransQuestions
Do any insurance companies cover se
understood anything about bodies, differences between them or social hierarchy based on them. I was
barelyable to talk and [was] declaringchat I was a boy,"
says Lynn Breedlove,fon11erlead singer of the dyke
same sex as I am;•says David."Ic'sdefinitelyabout who
punk band Tribe 8 and author of the novel Godspeed.
Breedlove- who identifies as a feminist and dyke as
y partner is transitioning from femal to
Changing gender on legaldocuments is a process that,
depending on where one was born and now lives,can
insurance companies that offer SRS plans will offer
well as a man - chose not to medicallytransition, but
did attempt to gee rid of female curves by 'cloing a lot
of drugs. As I grew older, I didn'.tlike my curves and
neither did mass media. Was I just trying to make my
insides match my outsides/ And if so, where did that
inside image come from/ A licclenaruce and a liccle
nurruce." Far from rejecting femaleness, Breedlove
actually "hesitated to go by 'he; because of what so
a marriage license, while others request a birch certificate or other documents. Legally changed gender
markers on these documents, therefore, are necessary
when you're outside of Massachusetts and need to
them to every employer. Similarly, an employer may
decide against an SRS-inclusive plan if one is avail-
many hes have done to so many shes'.'
David is a women's collegegraduate, feminist and
be an opposite-sex couple to gee married. Bue LGBT
advocates caution that it's not just the license itself
able. And even plans that cover SRS may require
patients to use in-house or recently trained doctors
rather than surgeons already widely known and
former dyke who is now a gay man. He describes his
female role models as strong and his upbringing as
supportive of his gender expressions. As a dyke, he
that makes a legal marriage, but rather, the license's
ability to withstand later challenge. 'Thousands of
trans people across the country are in marriages;·says
respected in the community.
says,"I met, dated and fell in love with several interesting, smart and dynamic women;· but never learned
how co be one, "because I wasn't one'.'Transitioning,
he says,"was never about rejecting womanhood - it
Unless you have a non trans reason to pursue surgeries
such as a mastectomy or hysterectomy, you'll need an
insurance policy that specifically covers sex reassignment procedures. Until recently, it was basically
unheard of for private insurers to cover SRS. Then
in 2001, the city of San Francisco passed its groundbreaking transgender health benefits package for its
employees, and within a few years all of its insurance
carriers were on board. That means more insurance
companies now offer employers plans that include
SRS coverage for eligible employees. Bue not all
Are FTMs buying into our culture's hatrec
of the female body? If a lesbian transition
to male and then dates only guys, it's hare
'"foe feeling of being a boy happened before I
was about learning about mysel£' As for dating men
now, "I think I'm just basically oriented to be homosexual ... I have a preference for people who are the
I do want in my bed, not about some theoretical aceof
repudiation'.'
range from needing a doctor's note to securing a court
order. Some states only require a driver's license for
Chris Daley,director of the T ransgender Law Center.
"In a couple of states, the validity of those marriages
has been legally challenged, and we've gotten mixed
rulings'.' In Kansas, for instance, the Scace Supreme
Court ruled against recognizingmarriages where both
partners were born as the same sex. Other states like
Trans Questions continued on page 72
September 2006
I59
Q+A
LipstickConspiracy
By Jenny Sherwin
You enter the club ready for an extraordinary
musical experience. Bue no one prepared you
for Lipstick Conspiracy, America's only all-trans
band. Giant women - Shawna, Sarafina, Marilyn
and Tori - stand before you, dressed in eight tops
and short skirts, a big flaming ball of lipstick and
hair and rock and attitude. These are the girls your
mother warned you about.
What makes Lipstick Conspiracy different
from any band on the planet?
We have been able ro incorporate 5ounds from
every decade, 1960s on, creating our own
unique sound chat is both modern and hip.
Have you played with other trans bands?
There are no ocher working, touring, recording
all-cransgender bands in the States. We have
... played with ocher transgender and genderqueer artists, and we all feed off of each ocher.
"I get e-mails from people all of the time who have
problems with me because of who I am - a white
transsexual man making hip-hop;' Rocco Kayiatos
(akaKacastrophe) says, with his trademark mix of
explains. 'Tm a giant paradox - a queer person
making hip-hop, a ladies' man in a seven-year
relationship. 1here is such little stability in life, I
can't be concerned with what's status quo:•
staccato urgency and charm. "A lot of people have
problems with all three of those things ... especially
if a white transsexual is making hip-hop'.'
The 26-year-old musician, equally famous as
writer Michelle Tea's partner, has had a lot of exposure lately.Crowned Outstanding Producer by the
Tattooed and curly-haired, Kayiatos is all
smiles, and his heart resides pretty permanently
on his sleeve. His love life figures heavily into his
music, as do his pecsonal philosophies on identity, sex and pop culture. 'Tm really influenced by
what's going on in my life, my emotional landscape,
Outtnusic Awards in 2005, he's a key figure in the
burgeoning queer hip-hop community. Fearured in
ocher people's feelings about me."
On being an out trans hip-hopper, he is
enthusiastic, but also slightly weary.'Tue one place
I do feel like I fie in is the queer hip-hop community. However, I feel like a lot of times people end
Pick Up theMic: The (r)Evolutionof QueerHip-Hop,
Is there a message behind the music of Lip-
he's also the focus of a forthcoming doc from film-
stick Conspiracy, or is it all just plain fun?
makers Angela Cheng and Sharon B:tmes, State of
Katastrophe.He collaborates regularly with under-
The message is exactly that: just plain fun ... and
embracing the journey of self-discovery.
one of the shows?
ground queer-positive music scene staples as diverse
as hip-hop artists Scream Club and Juba Kalamka
of Deep Dickollective, and the tongue-in-cheek
up working out their own issues about identity,gender, race and class out on me. I'm sure my identity
is provocativeto some people, and being in the public eye allows chem to dissect me like an academic
Ac the end of a recent show, our drummer fell off
the back of her stool and ended the song with
her legs in the air. It was as if she was in slow
dance remix group Lesbians on Ecstasy.
Recently,hes been touring co promote his second
album, Fault,Lies,and Faultlines,
releasedon the new
project. For me, it's always been about justifying to
people - gay and straight - why I have a right rn
be anywhere:·
motion. Half of us didn't even know it had
happened. She was able to recover while we
kept the music going. She made it back, right
side up, and finished the last bar of the song
lesbian-owned labelCherchez La Femme. Kayiatos
Kayiatos' music saddles many different worlds.
"Underground queer hip-hop is like any underground scene, in that it's inherently separate from
with us. I believe most of the audience thought
it was planned.
danceableand thought-provoking
Lyrical,intelligent and compassionate, Kayiatos
is part sensitive-boysex symbol (replete wich"Hope''
What's the craziest thing that's happened at
Is your audience mostly queer?
We've had fans as young as 2 rock out, along with
quite a few octogenarians. The majority of the
positive feedback we receive, however, comes
from queer women of every age. ■
For more information,visit lipstickconspiracy.com.
60 Icurve
composes his own music, and his tracksare a collage
of hum-along pop hooks, emotional excavationand
layered,intricatebeats.His latestCD is simultaneously
tattoo and a gaggleoflesbian fans wherever he goes),
part loner with a cause and part troubadour. Ac a
recent show, he dealt with an onset of insecurity by
asking the audience co give him, and each ocher, a
group hug. "I like co use my time as a performer
co deal with my issues in ridiculous ways;' he
the mainstream, bur queer people have been
involved in hip-hop for as long as it's been around:'
And anyway, when it comes down to it,
Kayiacos makes music you and your girlfriend
can dance to, regardless of how you, or she,
identify - and chat's fine by him. "My album is
about human struggle;· he says. "I just want it to
be something everyone can relate co:• ■
For more info, visit katastropherap.com.
MakingWaves
Six trans activistsevery dyke should know about.
By Ariane Resnick
"'ians prople behind tre scenes 1ncludE'(clockwise frorP top le~) Shanror Minter, Shawna Virago. Judith t-lalberstc. ,, 0. bra DaVJ• Mal Kailey ar,d C, Ir
nia Addams.
Shannon
Minter:Noted for his role representing transgender Michael Kantaras in a televised
custody case and as recipient of Ford Foundation's
2005 Leadership for a Changing World award,
Mincer is also an adviser, mentor and lawyer who
fights for anti-discrimination laws. Legaldirector
of the National Center for Lesbian Rights and
founder of its Youth Project, Minter co-authored
the book TransgenderEquality:A Handbookfor
Activistsand Policymakers.
He transitioned on the
job and helped NCLR convince thousands of
dykes chat trans issues are our issues.
GalpemiaAddams:Anyone who has seen
Soldier'sGirl knows of Addams. An elite combat-trained "Devil Doc" during the first Gulf war,
Addams came home from the war and became a
showgirl. After her military boyfriend was murdered, she became a trans rights activist.Today, she
runs Deep Stealth Productions and, with partner
Andrea James, is one of the few consultants helping Hollywood bring compassionate depictions
of trans lives to audiences, working on films like
Transamerica.
Honored at the the GLAAD Media
Awards, Addams is also an actor whose upcoming
short film CastingPearlswill comicallyportray the
auditions a trans actor endures.
ShawnaVirago:
This T rannyfest director and
2002 San Francisco Pride Parade grand marshal
became the first trans woman on the board of
directors of San Francisco Women Against Rape
and is a fow1ding member of TransAction; she's
also an indie film star, director and musician. Her
band has performed at numerous Pride events and
she made her directorial debut with the film Almost
Human. Not enough? She's also co-d1air of the
Transgender PoliticalCaucus and has served on the
Transgender Human Rights Task Force.
MattKailey:
When he transitioned from a
straight woman into a gay man, Kailey became a
voice for gay female-to-male persons by authoring Just Add Hormones:An Insider'sGuide to the
TranssexualExperience.Rather than dealing with
only the logistics of changing genders, Kailey offers
a personal look into the emotional situations chat
arise when transitioning. From lack of assistance
offered for a flat tire to nervous mothers, Kailey
pushes for FTMs to be as vocal and political as
their opposite-sex counterparts.
Judith"Jack"
Halberstam:
An English professor
and director of the Center for Feminist Research,
Halberstam authored four books including Female
Masculinityand Tne Drag King Book. Heavily
involved in drag king culture, Halberstam strives
to teach students chat "anatomy is not destiny'.'She
currently teaches courses in queer studies, gender
theory, film, art and literature, and is at work on a
film called LongLive theKings.
Debra Davis:Winner of the 2005 Pride
Award and executive director of the Gender
Education Center, Davis became a pioneer by
coming out publicly at the public high school
where she worked for more than 30 years. Davis
first spent 28 years as a male librarian before
spending her final three years of employment as
a transgender female. Now retired, Davis travels
co give presentations on gender. ■
Reviews Sapphic Screen
Lesbians Go Mainstreatn
Queer films come of age at the Tribeca Film Festival.
I
y Fllen Rosner Feig
EDITOR'S
Red Doors (Blanc de
Chine Films)
WhenthefilmversionofAmy
Tan'sTheJoi'LuckClub
premiered
in 1993,it set
a standard
for filmsabout
Asian-American
families.
Therearealwaysdaughters,
Americanized
butyearning
to befilial;mothers
whoare
superstitious
andcarrya
deepconnection
to theold
country;andfatherswho
arealwaysreticent,hiding
anunmistakable
pridefor
theirAmerican
children.
Now
intheaters,
Georgia
Lee's
firstfeature-length
film,Red
Doors,contains
all of these
stereotypical
qualities,
but
thosesimilarities
areonly
superficial.
Yes,thereare
Chinese-American
daughters One thing was crystal clear at chis year's Tribeca Film Festival: at what it means to love someone, warts and all, and at times
in thisfamilydrama,butone
The portrayal of lesbians on Ii.Im has become mainstream. A
he actually succeeds.
of themplantsbombsin the
majority of the fi.Imsscreened at the fifth anniversary celebration
lockerof theboyshehasa
have LGBT characters, including the provocative Kiss Me Again
of/ow My Voice: With the Music of Hedwig
crushon,whileanotherfalls
and
the
inspiring
documentary
Follow
My
Voice.
in lovewitha femalemovie
The wonderful, heartbreaking and hopeful documentary
star.Thefather,playedwith
incredible
agilitybyveteran
Follow My Voice follows a group of four young lesbian and
actorTzi Ma,is notyour
In William Tyler Smith's sexually charged Kiss Me Again, hoc gay students as they journey through the halls of New York's
typicalChinese-American
young Brooklyn photographer Malika {Elisa Donovan of ' Harvey Milk High, the li.rscpublic high school for LGBT studad.Hetriesto commit
Cluelessfame) is seeing Tara, a vulnerable rock 'ri roll singer. dents in che country. Director and producer Katherine Linton
suicidemultipletimes,and
Malika
shares an apartment with her best friend, Chalice {played follows record producer Chris Slusarenko, songwriter Stephen
whenhedoesnotsucceed
- repeatedly
interrupted
by
wonderfully by Katheryn Winnick), who is married to Julian
Trask and actor John Cameron Mitchell as they record a benhisyoungest
daughter,
who
efit album, with several well-known recording artists, for the
{Jeremy London). But when Julian brings another woman,
doesn
'I evenbataneyelash
Hetrick-Martin Institute {the home of Harvey Milk High),
Elena {Mirelly Taylor), into their marriage co spice things up, it
- heabandons
hisfamilyfor
soon
becomes
clear
that
Chalice
has
been
hiding
her
own
sexualusing the songs of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Follow My
a Buddhist
monastery.
Red
ity
for
years,
repressing
both
memories
of
her
earlier
relationship
Voiceweaves together the lives of several high school students
Doorsdoesindeedcontain
a coming-out
story,butit is
with Malika and her newfound love for Elena.
including Mey, a 17-year-old Chinese-American lesbian and
morethanthat.It is a new
At times the Ii.Imis uncomfortable to watch; the sexuality is
runway model; Tenaja, a 17-year-old African American who is
kindofAsian-American
film,
so openly displayed it is almost raw and even in the greater conexcommunicated from her Jehovah's Witness family when she
onethatdoesn'tdealwith
tells them she is lesbian; and Angel, a transgender woman who
text of love, betrayal and exploration, there is a sense of stagimmigrant
identityissuesbut
ing
or
awkwardness
between
the
actors.
As
Elena
and
Chalice
lives in the heart of Spanish Harlem.
focusesinstead
onhowthese
damaged
individuals
cometo
begin to explore their desire for one another {and their need
Follow My Voice allows us to enter the world of these
termswitheachother to exclude Julian from the mix), their interactions are hesitant
brave young people who proudly stand by their convicandtheirimperfect,
and shy in one scene, aggressive in another. Their realization
tions. As I watched a unique orchestral band, the Polyphonic
butloving,family.
Spree, record the song "Wig in a Box" over one weekend, my
that
they
are
falling
in
love
and
betraying
a
man
they
both
(reddoorsthemovie.
com)
love causes chem to pull away from each other. Malika and her
heart was Ii.lied with a sense of spirit and hope in human-Malinda Lo
girlfriend Tara provide what is probably the most honest relaity. Follow My Voice is truly Ii.Im at its best - entertain-
tionship in the Ii.Im.They li.ghc,they have sex, they argue, they
make up. Smith's intent in Kiss Me Again is to cakes a hard look
62
Icurve
ing while it educates, educating while it changes che world.
(jollowmyvoice.com)
■
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VictoriaBarkley
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a pre-Dynasty
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- whomadeit to thefinalthreein this including
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Nan Kinney
I
FOUNDER,FATALE
MEDIAI
When Nan Kinney first searched for lesbian alternatives co the stereotypical girl-girl
images of mainstream pornography 21 years ago, there were none. Determined co
offer authentic images chat lesbians could relate to, Kinney and Deborah Sundal1l
founded Fatale Media, Inc., to create porn made by lesbian~, for lesbians. Since chen,
Fatale Media's popularity has expanded into the straight community, mostly chrough
Bend Over Boyfriend,an instructional video chat teaches straight women how to
scrap it on for their men. We recencly talked with Kinney about her experiences and
how lesbian porn has come of age. - Janel M. Lynch
Wh,
The Internet has made huge changes, in chat ... you don't have co go through
the mainstream distributors to get your images out there. You can reach your
target audience much more directly, so it really has expanded; (there are)
more small lesbian companies involved in it now.
Do
Hungry Hearts. I loved doing that video; we had some really funny moments
with chat one. We rented chis beautiful room up in Timber Cove.... We sec
it all up with the lights blaring ... and we're shooting a scene in this sunken
Japanese cub right next to these big windows chat looked out over the coast,
and I swear to God, there was ... the Von Trapp family hiking outside the
window. le was just unbelievable. They literally had lederhosen on and big
walking sticks and licclehats and everything. We had to have one production
person just standing at the window to keep an eye out for the Von Trapp
family, and we had co stop whenever they'd come again.
He
to the genera
pu
Bend Over Boyfriendfit into Fatale Media's general mission in chat we've always cried co portray and present images of sexuality chat aren't out there, that
ocher companies aren't doing for whatever reason .... We knew chat straight
couples were into chis and nobody was really approaching it, especially in an
educational manner, and we thought, well, if anybody's going co teach straight
women how to strap it on, it's going to be lesbians. ■
September 2006
I63
Reviews
In the Stacks
Barnyards and Carnivals
Lesbian farmers and sideshow entertainers, oh my.
I
y Rachel Pepper
This month, two new books invite us co explore ways we can
challenge ourselves. Catherine Friend's funny new memoir, Hit
by a Farm, chronicles two urban lesbians' attempts to build a
sheep farm from the ground up, while Ariel Gore's Traveling
knew me;• Friend writes. "1hey thought I was just a pathetic
bookworm. I was much more than chat. I was strong. I was
Death and Resurrection Show illuminates the complexity of
may not be meant to be a full-time farmer, she has embraced
spirituality and family.
her rural life, even if, as she herself says, she was hie by a farm.
(hitbyafarm.com)
Hit by a Farm: How I Learned to
Stop Worrying and Love the Barn,
Catherine Friend (Marlowe and
•1t,,-1_,'-'...._•.._,..__
tough. I was a problem solver. I was a lesbian, damn it. I'd show
chem:•By the book's end, Friend has found that even though she
Hanl,Girt.G.F ....
ti.k1-o,....___.._~........__,t1roo
.....
_
._.__INtt~
................
..... ...,...,..._
~•..di..-•
-GARRISON
........
....................
...............
.._..,.......,....,.._
~ ..
_
..-.
_.._
-k ----~
U,llOI
The Trave/mg Death and
Resurrection Show, Anel Gore
EDITOR'S
Ariel Gore has written a first novel
What happens when you take a city dyke
PoetryonRecord:
98
that will surprise many of her most
and plunk her down, along with many
PoetsReadTheirWork,
ardent fans. Known in the literary
high hopes and her partner of 12 years,
1888-2006, ed.Rebekah
underworld mostly for her autobioon a Minnesota farmr The answer can
Presson
Mosby
be
found
in
Catherine
Friend's
enjoyable,
graphical
writings and for publishing
(Shout!Factory)
Hip Mama magazine, Gore stretches
Threecheersforthis
enlightening and even laugh-out-loud
four-disc
audiocollection hilarious Hit by a Farm. Friend is known
her wings a bit here and produces a
of poetryfromthedawn
first-rate literary novel about a travprimarily as a children's book author,
of soundrecording
to the
eling sideshow. The novel's main
but she's clearly found her niche in hucurrentday.Lovers
of queer
character, Frances Catherine, known
morous
nonfiction,
for
this
account
of
andqueer-inflected
poetry
willfindplentyto enjoyhere. going back to the land with her partner,
as Frankka, is able co perform the
You'llhearthefieryvoiceof
stigmata (bleeding from her hands)
Melissa, and their growing menagerie of
WaltWhitman
reading
from goats, dogs, ducks, sheep, llamas and the
a remarkable "trick" that lands her
"America"
in a recording
in the forefront of a ragtag group
like
was
a
great
read.
Ever
want
to
know
believed
to havebeenmade
known as the Traveling
how
to
grab
a
ram's
testicles?
Shear
and
byThomas
Edison
around
Death and Resurrection
1889;H.D.reading
from
birth sheep? Plane a field of grapevines upside down? Raise
herfeministepicHelenin
Show.
chickens humanely for slaughter without getting attached?
Egyptin sonorous,
honeyed
Or even how co balance your partner's dreams of farming
The other performtones;Langston
Hughes'
ers in this troupe include
with
the
growing
realization
that
working
24/7
in
the
mud
meticulous
performance
a trapeze artist, a psychic
of hisHarlem
Renaissance and the cold may not be for you? It's all here, as Friend and '
poem"TheWearyBlues"; her partner transform barren farmland into a real, working
single mom with baby
andtheincomparable sheep farm with a large adjoining vineyard thrown in for
in cow, and a levitating
~~
Elizabeth
Bishop's
startlingly
Mother Superior drag
good measure.
nonchalant
delivery
of "The
queen known as Madre
Is
it
beautiful?
Yes.
Is
it
satisfying
co
have
your
own
business
Fish."Otherdiscsinclude
Pia. A family of misfits
and
watch
the
land
slowly
turn
into
a
real
farm?
Of
course.
Yet
recordings
byBlackArts
giantGwendolyn
Brooks, Friend's story is hardly pastoral, as she takes great care to point
thrown together by coinfeministiconAdrienne
Rich, out repeatedly that our perceptions of the "country" don't always
cidence and circumstance,
"poemto myuterus"author
mix with the reality of being an actual farmer. Animals die or
the group performs a
LucilleCliftonandNative
show loosely based on reAmerican
visionary
JoyHarjo. are killed, and crops sometimes wither or fall prey to pests and
weeds.
Tractors
break,
fences
fall,
and
machinery
causes
damligious themes, the climax
Poetrypuristsmayhavea
problem
withthiscandy- age - sometimes to people. Not surprisingly, Friend and her
of which is Frankka's bleeding hands.
colored,
flashilyillustrated partner find that not everyone supports their decision to risk
Eventually this ability, which began in her childl10od
boxset,butif thecollection
everything they owned on a farm: "When I'd come out to my
as she sought attention from her ardently Catholic grandinspires
listeners
to seekout
mother, generates the kind of media attention that monmoreworkbyAudreLorde, parents years ago, they'd been upset and concerned, but had
of whomyougetonlya brief eventually got used co che idea, and were very cool. But now, ey can't buy - along with an ever more strident group
of religious protesters. Ultimately, Frankka must flee the
tastehere,it hassucceeded. my news was almost more earth shattering. Being a lesbian was
(shouttactory.com)one thing, but being a farmer? Man, oh man, that was going to
group to find hersel£ When she reemerges, Gore leads us
-Julia Bloch
cake some getting used co."The reactions range from shocked
co an expansive definition of fan1ily and spirituality, and
DBA'l'R
B.ESUBBECTION
silence co outright laughter and jokes. Bue the two women
dig in, if only to prove they can do it. "They thought they
64
Icurve
how we can continue to find hope in our collective future.
(harpercollins.com)■
PAGE TURNERS
Pin-lln r.mt • FP.mm1sm
Sexualltv.
Pol
(DukeUniversity
Press):
Buszek
takesusonanacademic
journeythrough150yearsof saucy,
sociallyawareimagesandtheir
repercussions
onthemainstream.
For
thoseof uswhothoughtthatreclaimingsexuality
in thenameof feminism
wasa fairlynewconcept,
thisis a
greatintroduction
to therevolutionary
beauties
of thepast.(dukeupress.edu)
- Catherine
Plato
c;,rctes
Kate
Braverman
(Trafford):
Thisdeeply
I AUTHOR I
personal
andengaging
memoirdocumentsonewoman'sjourneythrough
theMiddleEastin a questboth
Author Kare Braverman has the polished but messy look chat only a
spiritualandpolitical.
Herstruggles
true artist can pull off. Since her literary debut in 1979 with Lithium
to comeoutasa lesbianaremirrored
for Medea, a controversial tale chat Joan Didion described as 'Jumpy,
backto herbywitnessing
otherwomen
kinetic, and finally very powerful;' Braverman has written five books,
sheencounters
stuggling
withtheir
ownoppression.
(samadhiwhitehouse.including the recent Frantic Transmissions to and From Los Angeles:
writerswebpages.com)
- Diane
A~1Accidental Memoir. With a sharp wit and impassioned convicAnderson-Minshall
tions, Braverman speaks with authority. - Allison Steinberg
WhE
(Silverfish
Review):
The
For 34 years of my publishing life, I have fought for the right
resilientandrichlydetailed
poemsin
Hibbard's
firstbooksingwithlesbian
of women ro inhabit the page. My baccle has been co write
desireandintelligence.
In'Precious
as a man would. I have always felt patriarchal oppression. I
Eyebrows,"
eachcoupletburstswith
have co fight chis in every story, every essay, every novel. This
life:"Thewaya woman'shairgathis my contribution co what we used co call sisterhood. The
ers/rain,asyoukissbeneath
pines
page is its own kingdom and what you can gee away with. We
in graylight/Youwerealwaysin so
muchpain.IImistookit forsomeautopsy, we reveal, we confess.
thingquiteholy.·Thereis a mature
WI
confidence
herethatneverlosessight
Sylvia Plath was the first female voice in literature I ever
of humbling
emotional
detail,asin the
heard. Mose people only remember her for her suicide, but
gardenmeditation
in theprosepoem
who can quote a stanza of her poetry?
"Perennial."
"I wantmintambush,
flung
outsubterranean
runnersthatthrob
thelawnwithpromise
andsweetness.
I went for a job interview at San Diego Scace College. I was
MaybeI'mafraidthatdeathwon'thave
asked what I thought abour the women's movement, and I
itswaywithme."(silverfishreview
said, "I don't want my women waving brooms; I want chem
press.com)
- JuliaBloch
waving M16s:• I didn't gee the job.
TheDoctorWorePett1co11ts
WI
Wnm11nPh11
(GlobePequot
Press):FromSusanLaFlesche,
the
firstfemaleNativeAmerican
doctor,
to
LucyHobbs
Taylor,
thefirstwomanto
receive
a doctorate
of dentalscience,
TheDoctorWorePetticoats
showcases
12frontierfemalephysicians
whowere
pioneers
notonlyof theWestbutalso
Ho
of themedicalprofession.
Illustrating
boththefreedoms
andthedifficulties Ste
thesewomenfacedin theWildWest,
thisis a must-read
for anyfeministor
trontierswoman.
(globepequot.
com)
- LaurenMarieFleming
I am, in sensibility and lifestyle, much closer co gay people
than I am co straight people. When I got co San Francisco
four years ago, the first place I went was co the gay community. I read in the gay bars in San Francisco. Ir doesn't pay
anything, but it's so much fun - the kinetics, che rawness of
the audience, it reminds me of (Los Angeles] in the '?Os. Gay
men really gee me; lesbians really gee it.
d since you first
When I started writing, I used K.P. Braverman because it
was extremely difficult for a woman writing about women
who don't behave co gee published. I embraced risk. There is
a constant struggle between the story you want co cell and the
accommodation between you and the page. ■
September 2006
I65
Reviews
Music Watch
More Than Girls With Guitars
These girls sure pluck our strings. I y Margaret Coble
Yeah, I know - isn't this just about the
theme of every column? Ir's true char there's
a never-ending supply of guitar-based
female folkies and rockers consranrly shuffling across my desk, bur Doria Roberts,
EDITOR'S
Divine MAGgees and KT Tunstall stand
hands above the crowd this month, moving
B InchBetsy well beyond rhe girls-with-guitars cliche.
(Self-Released)
So if you haven't already, rake notice.
Thinkof thisEPof 'BOsinfluenced,
Social0-era
post-punk
(asortof Hole Woman Dangerous, Doria Roberts
i;i
meetsLeTigremeets
MySpace-era
dykeybrash- Three years in rhe making, this new 12ness)asyourintroduction
track set from the brilliant and beautiful,
to anincredible,
all-girl,
our lesbian Doria Roberts was definitely
Chicago-based
bandwhose
specialbrandof fiercerock worth rhe wait. Every single song on Woman
andcatchyhooksmaketheir Dangerous is a winner; there's no filler
fansslavish
withdevotion. here. Lyrically, rhe Arlanta-based singerSincethetrioformedin
songwriter mines her own emotional
2004,thechicksof 8 Inch
Betsy- vocalist
andguitar- landscape, tackling topics of love, relationist Meghan
Galbraith,
bass ships and self-esteem. It's nothing terribly
playerLizBurkeandsuper new, bur Roberts does it well and in a very
foxydrummer
Stephanie accessible yet poetic way. Musically, howLevi- haveopened
for
ever, this set gels in a way char very few
theGossip,
touredwithAmy
Rayandheadlined
Estrojam. contemporary folk-pop albums do. Her
Evenbetter:They'reabout acoustic guitar-based compositions are now
to release
a brand-spanking fleshed our via layered and looped vocals, sweeping strings, texnew,full-length
CD,andwe
tured percussion, tight drumming, sly bass and the occasional
can'twaitto rockoutto it.
electric guitar. There's even a ukulele and flute on the final
(Binchbetsy.com)
- Diane
track, "Horizon:' Ir's an exquisitely well-produced - bur nor
Anderson-Minshall
over-produced - album, which hopefully will get her some
well-deserved wider exposure. The sweet pop of"Honey Jar" is
my fave, while the rocking "Simple Life" and poppier "Perfect"
f:yt,
are probably the most radio friendly. (doriaroherts.com)
Also in rhe air-folk rock category bur with more commercial
Love Me Like the Roses, D1vme MAGgees
appeal, this Scottish singer-songwriter started making waves
in the United Kingdom in 2004. Now she's become a bona
1
s all Vi gm)
it your business to do so. Named for rhe cars they each owned,
separately, before meeting each other, Cregan Montague (fid-
follow-up "The Ocher Side of rhe World:' A skilled mulriinstrumentalist, Tunstall nor only plays guitar on the album's
dles) and Danielle Tibedo (guitars) make sweet, dreamy airfolk rock char draws on everything from bluegrass to punk to
jazz, intertwining acoustic and electric guitars and fiddles with
their perfecrly matched, harmonious vocals. The 11 songs on
the album vary widely from the country twang of"Bridges" and
12 tracks, but also bass, piano, organs and various percussion, and she also wrote or co-wrote every song. Lyrically,
T unseal! delves deep into often dark emotional terrain, yet
musically, she manages to maintain a fairly upbeat vibe due
to her strong melodies, even on sparse cuts like "Silent Sea"
and "Heal Over:· Ir's her vocals, though, that really draw lis-
hard-to-categorize, haunting reinterpretation of Cole Porter's
"Begin the Beguine:• Bur despite the variation, the album has
a mesmerizing cohesion that's apt to make you hit "repeat"
curve
co
Asheville, N.C., who are partners in both music and life, make
the Southern-drenched swing of'Riverlady;' to darker, swirling
rock numbers such as "Trouble" and "Hole in rhe Wall;' to their
I
hf- Tc
fide worldwide star with the release of her debut album in the
United States, as well as rhe success of her peppy, bluesy rock
single "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" and the mellower
If you haven't heard or seen rhis duo, currencly based in
66
over and over again. One part Cowboy Junkies, one part Po
Girl, with just a smidgeon of Indigo Girls (due largely to their
vocal harmonies and the fact char they are lesbians), Divine
MAGgees deliver one of the best albums I've heard all year.
'(divinemaggees.corn)
teners in. She's unique and memorable like Edie Brickell or
Rickie Lee Jones, bur with more guts and raw emotion, like
PJ Harvey. Give it a spin (kttunstall.com) ■
I dare you to not like this album.
a safe
OTHER LICKS
for
meet
women
to
Drama,
Bananar (TheLab):Two
of theoriginalmembers
of the1980s
U.K.girlgroupknownfor delicious
popclassicslike"Venus"
and"Really
SayingSomething"
returnwitha new
andremarkably
fresh13-trackrelease
featuring
theEurosmashhit"Movein
MyDirection."
(bananarama.co.uk)
owle
(ValleyEntertainment):
Moving
smoothly
fromAmericana,
honky-tonk
country,andbluesyjazzto pop,
A&B,andstraight-up
folk,thisSouth
Carolina
singer-songwriter's
latest
offeringis a masterpiece
of styleand
contentdestinedto bea classic.
(daniellehowle.com)
IJAZZ PIANIST I
Jazz pianist Tammy Hall has been playing piano since she was old
enough to (barely) reach the keys. She has been touted as a "best
kept secret" in music, but her recently released CD, Blue Divi11e,and
DVD, Reflections,may have let the proverbial cat out of the bag.
- Andy Wright
You say you see the color blu when you play. Is music a
visual a1
(Sink&
Stove/U.K.):
Moresoulfulandsedated
thanSleater-Kinney,
thisfour-girl1ndie
rockgrouphasgenerated
quitea buzz
onbothsidesof thepond;"87"is my
pick,butreally,all 1Otracksdeserve
a
Wh
listen.(the-vibration.com)
s, PatriciaBa (Blue
Note):Reinterpreting
classicGreek
mythology
in a rock-infused
jazz
context,
outdykepianogeniusBarber
offershermostambitious
compositionto date,thanksto a Guggenheim
fellowship.
Heady,
butneverboring.
(patriciabarber.com)
my Hall
Yes. I would almost give my left hand to be able to draw. I
love art and painting. The color blue is my favorite color, and
it makes me feel good, and it's a color chat signifies divinity,
spirituality, calmness, groundedness.
I think my music expresses the gratitude I have for being able
to play, the gratitude I have for rhe audience who listens and
appreciates. I'm very grateful for this gift, and it is a gift.
Yot
le was fabulous. I was with my partner at the time, who had
been hired as a guidance counselor at the International School
at Brussels. I was at home and after about eight months, she
said, "Why don't you come over? There's a scene happening,
there are no women, and you have a niche to Iii] here:• I went
over and in three months I had put together a quintet. She
played the saxophone. I hired some local guys and we played.
And we were successful.
An
d special effects for the DVD.
Did working with ar. animator nake you see you work m a
different way?
aseEr
(KillRock
Stars):A tighteryetstillquirkytrio
afterthedeparture
of guitaristSara
Jaffe,theseBayareanoise-pop
queersshinea criticallightonthe
government,
consumerism
andpoliticalapathyonthisthirdalbumeffort.
(eraseerrata.com)
- MC
It did. I just put the music out there, and I can't tell you that
you're supposed to feel a certain way. I know how I'm feeling
and if that translates, that's great. But there (are] no rules. As
long as I'm able to put something positive out rhere, that's a1I
I want. I want people to feel good when they hear my music.
Or feel healed, or relieved or eased somehow. That's my only
objective: to comfort. ■
September 2006
I67
Reviews Tech Girl
,-
Kitchen Gadgets Galore
Get cookin' with these nifty new tools.
I
y Diane Andcrson-\1inshall
The words "high tech" may conjure up images of LCD TVs and robotic insrruments, but as the Jetsons once
predicted, technology now affects the kitchen, too. Bored with Sub Zeros and talking refrigerators, we look
to the lower end of the tech boom to find out just how modern kitchens have become.
Got those lesbian friends who rail about the downsides
of the big two soda makers/ Love soda, hate canned
drinks/ Soda Club's Gourmet Home Soda Maker is
the answer. With fizz (from the Alco 2Jet Carbonator)
and flavor (SodaMix tempts us with 25 flavors), you can turn ordinary tap water into
fresh, tasty soda in seconds. This environmentally friendly alternative to store-bought
sodas also lets you make drinks with less sugar, less sodium and fewer carbs. ($119 and up,
sodaclub.com)
,J
In a day and age where stainless steel is the hottest kitchen color, the Big Chill retro
refrigerator - in colors like beach blue and pink grapefruit - is for chicks who don't want to
camouflage their appliances (is that cabinet or a fridge/) but want more of a '57 Chevy-type
style. But, it's still modern inside and requires none of that old-school defrosting. ($2,700,
bigchillfridge.com)
Clockwise from top left:
Tassimo's hot beverage
machine, Soda Club's
home soda maker, the
Big Chillfridge,
Kyocera's ceramic
peeler, Emilythe Strange
heat-sensitive mug
(shown cold) and Miam
Miam's mushroom bowl.
ir
Is your girlfriend all Laura Ashley and Kate Spade in the kitchen/ Time for a mood change.
Buy her a set of these new Emily the Strange heat-sensitive coffee mugs, which feature
Emily holding a skull-and-crossbones mug on the front. When hot liquids are in the mug,
spooky steam appears on the side; when liquids are cold it goes away. Add a box of Emily's
new candy bar assortment (a cigar-style box of strangely dark and gooey treats) for the perfect back-to-school gift for your roommate. ($15 and up, darkhorse.com)
a
So, your friends are still mocking your non-PC double latte habit/ Try the Tassimo, a hot
beverage machine where you insert your choice of discs (coffees, mochas, teas), select the
right cup for your drink and press a button. In a minute you'll be having cappuccino, hot
chocolate or whatever your heart desires without the mess, the wait or the public embarrassment of spending $8 a day on coffee. No wonder it has an almost cult-like following
among gays now. ($169, tassimo.com)
The future is here and it's in our dishware: The new Miam Miam mushroom series features
fun and funky, rounded serving dishes that are elevated and tilted on their sides. No matter
what's in them, these Orb bowls make your food seem like it's looking back at you from an
alien spaceship. ($6-$80, unitedbrands.us)
n
OK, kitchen peelers are hardly high tech, but the Kyocera Advanced Ceramics Perfect Peeler
- which rotates to vertical, horizontal and 45-degree positions, and has an ergonomic nonslip
handle that lessens hand fatigue - certainly seems as modern as it gets. Unlike traditional
peelers, this Japanese peeler is made of zirconium oxide, a highly advanced ceramic that is
razor-sharp. The Perfect Peeler's blade lasts much longer than average peelers and because
ceramic is chemically inert, it won't alter the taste or smell of food. Plus, the Perfect Peeler
won't rust and is dishwasher safe. ($20, surlacable.com)
VictoriaA. Brownworth Politics
A Nation Under Attack
Forget Osama bin Laden. Queers and immigrants are the new villains.
I
t may be September, but the November elections are just two months away - which
marriage to your husband or wife? How
does granting citizenship to people who
already live here, work here, pay rent
and participate in all the ocher aspects
of American life damage anyone else?
explains why the right wing is exploiting ignorance and fear on the campaign trail. This season, the targets are what Sen. Rick Santorum, RPa., fighting for his political life in a tight Senate
race, called "a bigger threat to America than terrorism": same-sex marriage and immigration.
Yes, it's the Bush administration's newest
war: the war on difference, on otherness. We
are being Swift boated. We can't catch Osama
bin Laden, but we can turn minorities - in chis
case, queers and immigrants - into villains.
The rhetorical run-up began during the
We are all - queers and immigrants
- already living our lives right here in
America, next door to you and you and
you. Why can't we have the same civil
rights everyone else does?
And the answer is: because there is
()
primaries last May and June. Anti-immigration sentiments erupted on May
Day when hundreds of thousands of undocumented workers from among
the estimated 11 to 13 million in the United Scates took to the streets around
the country, declaring their simultaneous love for America and their desire
to be respected, legal citizens. Those demonstrations prompted an antiimmigrant response from the right, with President Bush's "base" of conservatives demanding deportations.
an election looming. Because the war,
which over three years ago was declared
over, still rages. Because the economy has
tanked. Because a June 2006 Gallup poll says 64 percent of Americans disapprove of George W. Bush, but only 51 percent disapprove of same-sex marriage
- which means chat queer civil rights are actually more popular than the president. Because one in six Americans doesn't have health care.
So there must be a deflection from reality, and we are it. Somehow, the
biggest threat to American society is not chat chis administration has favored
the wealthy so much chat the middle class is going bankrupt and the poor
Like the May Day marches, queer Pride celebrations also had a clear focus
are poorer than ever. Somehow, we are rhe threat. Well, us and the Mexican
this year. Last June 5, the Senate held hearings on a constitutional amendment
banning same-sex marriage. Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis., called the proposal
- which had languished on the back burner since it had been used to generate
conservative support during the 2004 presidential campaign - an outrageous,
immigrants stealing all those $3-an-hour jobs with no benefits chat real
Americans are lining up to do.
The anti-queer, anti-immigrant rhetoric of the past few months is, of
course, just chat. Rhetoric. Legislation isn't exacdy around the corner. A
partisan political move to win conservative votes in November.
This election season, two issues that are on few Americans' cop 10 lists of
concerns - same-sex marriage and immigration - have become focal points
of the election in an effort to distract voters from chose issues that really con-
constitutional amendment requires approval by a two-thirds majority of
Congress and three-quarters of the states. There hasn't been a constitutional
amendment ratified in more than 14 years, the most recent being the 27th
Amendment, which was actually first proposed in 1789 and deals with salary
cern them: the war, health care and the economy.
What's more, these are not just "issues" but matters of civil rights. So these
broadsides from Bush and his cohort are homophobic and racist. The people
involved, queers and immigrants, have dissolved into rhetorical stereotypes and
for Congress - not exacdy a hot political or social issue. But chis does not
mean chat queers and immigrants have nothing to fear, just char the process
of deporting 13 million people and savaging the civil liberties of one in 10
as that occurs, the civil rights elements of these issues are bled out, supplanted by
the fear of the Other that is constantly being stoked by tl1eright wing.
The message is clear: Difference is scary and dangerous to America.
Within a week of delivering a Saturday radio address on why English
should be the official language of America, Bush gave another radio address
calling for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage because
marriage is under attack - just as he claimed our borders are under attack
by illegal immigrants from Mexico.
Queers and immigrants are, for the purposes of the upcoming election, the
new terrorists. We threaten a value system in which all marriage is between a
man and a woman and all workers are American, a system in which families can
be only heterosexual and people can speak only English. Such political rhetoric
makes us queers and immigrants seem dangerous to American society - like
millions of lesser bin Ladens out to destroy the American dream.
I'm so tired of these battles over equality, civil rights and justice. I want
to ask these right-wing voters: How can equality ever be damaging to someone else? How does my right to marry my same-sex partner denigrate your
Americans might cake a bit more rime.
In the interim, it is essential that we see this political maneuvering for
what it is: cold-blooded, calculated, craven politics in which we are the pawns
and, ultimately, the victims. People like Santorum, who regularly equates
same-sex marriage with pedophilia and bestiality, are reaching out co a constituency that fears change, chat wants someone to blame for the state of the
union, and queers and immigrants are increasingly the scapegoats.
We have a date with destiny in November, but the stakes are up now. Now
is the time for all of us co remind people of the real issues and redirect their
attention from debating our civil rights to considering their own. We can and
must refocus the argument onto the failures of the Bush administration to
fulfill its obligations to the citizenry.
From now until November, we must work to vote the right wing out. We
are not the new terrorists that Bush and his cohorts have made us. Rather we
are, like 13 million immigrants, part of America's diversity. For coo long they
have set the agenda, and we have lose. We have till November to turn che tide,
and turn it we must. Ir's time for the exclusionary tactics of the right wing co
cease -
or at least cease using us. ■
September 2006 I 69
Dyke Drama
Michele Fisher
What Not to Say to a Woman
Some women will say anything to get some action. Take my advice: Don't.
I love menudo." Tripe is a white, rubbery,
ridged, nasty part of a cow's stomach. Actually,
there is no pare of a cow's stomach (or is it sto111achs,
as
"Yes,
I seem to recall from chat one day of high school biology
when I accidentally paid attention) chat is not nasty. But
tripe is stomach lining. Mexican menudo soup would be
fine if it didn't have pieces of tripe in it.
I was hoping she would fix some menudo without cow
stomach in it, but my hopes were crushed when I saw her
ladling stew with very visible stomach chunks into two
bowls. I got through the experience 6y swallowing one
piece of tripe whole and chasing it with lots of broth ...
and beer.
There was no ocher option: If I wanted rhe woman, I
had to choke down her homemade innard stew. I was running my own personal Fear Factor challenge. Did I mention her claim that menudo turns her into a sex machine?
When she was distracted and quire drunk - which took
a loc longer than I thought it should have - I dumped the
mess at the bottom of my bowl into the crash, and then I
claimed my prize.
I am not going to complain about the drunken sex. I
are a friggin' cow organ; I wasn't about to go home emptyhanded. When a girl came along a while later and claimed
to be an expert in rhe art of soul food, I bit my stupid
tongue just before I was about to rave about how much I
loved chirlins.
'Just stay herefor a while."Did I mean the night? Or the
weekend? I know I didn't mean rhe year, bur chat is what
happened. Yes,it ended ugly,but I didn't care. I just wanted
my apartment back.
"I love to travel."No, I don't. I like being in new places
if they have air conditioning, clean water and chocolate. I
don't like packing, airports or flying.
I found out recenrly chat I like cruises for about a day.
It's too good. Nothing to do on the ship but drink, eat,
sunbathe and gamble. !e's like vacationing in Sodom and
Gomorrah. I can take train travel for about an hour. It's not
quaint; it's slow.And yes, I can feel the train moving and no,
it is not comforting.
If I can gee there without packing or going to an airport, dock or station,
and if I can be assured of four-star accommodations when I arrive, I am there.
I guess rime travel is the kind of travel char suits me best.
"There are all types of love. Sex is not that important."Ha! Just whom was
I kidding?
"I am friends with all my ex-lovers."I guess I spoke too soon, and she didn't
feel like being one of the gang. To char end, she decided to sec herself apart by
alienating my friends and family, issuing ultimatums and squawking obscenities whenever we were in public. Now I am forced to admit chat I am friendly
with most of my exes ... except one.
"J don't date bisexuals."Was I ever this naive and pious? Did I really think I
70
I
curve
could spot a bisexual at 50 paces, walk rhe ocher way, and avoid heartbreak?
Of course, I did dare bisexuals. Some of chem I knew about before we went
co bed, and one didn't cell me until she invited me to her "traditional" wedding.
(Some pillow talks are more enlightening than ochers.) I probably would have
slept with all of them all over again, even rhe bachelorerre party girl.
You can be picky about your prospective partner's looks, morals, finances,
or sexual orientation, but you can't be picky about all chose things unless you're
a wealthy, virgin supermodel. I fall short in a category or two, so I decided to
dispense with my rule about AC/DC chicks in exchange for a robust sex life.
I cringe when I hear homos schooling ocher queers about evil bisexuals.
My advice to those about to take this plunge is to ask the bi girl what being
a:
w
tii
w
a:
t;;
w
z
er
w
I
~
bisexual means co her; I have found chose conversations co be illuminating.
You're likely co hear everything from "I have never slept with a man, but I have
always been curious about it" to the exact opposite. Which creature is more
dangerous? There is no way to cell. Listen carefully, and you might hear chat
women are for flings and men are for commitment. Or she might divulge chat
occasionally, a woman is what she needs co clear her head. I met a looker from
Saudi Arabia one night who cold me char staying married co a man kept her
from losing the family forrune and her life. I thought her reasoning was sound.
There's no need to keep guessing about her back story - just ask. A
woman is a much better source of information about herself than you are.
What if she lies? Well then, being a bisexual isn't really che problem, is it?
"You can pay me back whenever."I am still waiting.
No matter how much or how little of che green scuff you have, it causes
trouble when lent to friends, lovers and those in between. In fact, it causes
lovers to become just friends and friends co go AWOL.
I don't really have a lot co say about borrowing except, pay ic back, and if
you can't, just leave town. Don't act as if you've left, do it right: Slide out in the
middle of the night without telling a soul, and don't leave a forwarding address.
When you gee where you're going, assume a new identity and never look back.
As for you lenders out there, stick to the old adage about never lending
more than you can afford to lose. I think oflending money to friends like pulling the arm of a rime-delayed slot machine. Ir may pay off somewhere down
the road, but, most likely, I will never see a dime.
And don't assume chat celling your (girl)friend how bad you need the
money back will make her more likely co pay on time. le will make her feel
guilcier when she fails to pay you back, but it won't get you the bucks. With
che exception of con artists, people intend co pay you back when chey ask for
a loan. Whether they use che loan to buy a car, food or crack, chey really need
the money. Ir's up co you to decide if you can really afford the gift.
A special note co chose of you who would lend money co lovers, be they
casual or long-term: Geeting a check is great, but it has never made me as
happy as getting laid. Know your priorities and do not hassle a lover for cash
back unless you're tired of her intimate company.
'J\. three-way might spice up our relationship."My spice blend rurned out
to be a dash of jealousy with a dollop of resentment chat left the bad taste of
insecurity in our mouths.
Your relationship has to be either very strong or weak as water to make
a three-way a worthwhile risk. Suggesting a three-way to a lover just means
pitching the idea of you both having an affair with the same woman at the
same time. You don't want to have a new experience with your woman; you
want to experience a new woman without having to sneak around.
It didn't work for me. I was glad I cried it early in my dyke career when I
was more resilient. However, if you're a solo unit, you happen to meet a young
lady, and on your way co a destination together you two chance upon another
lass who is game, then I can promise you an experience you will remember
long after you have gone senile.
"I writefor CURVE:' Some women felc slighted because they didn't get a
mention. Others became furious when they read about themselves. More
than a few choughc char as a writer, I should be much more clever and interesting in my personal life than I turned out to be. With my current (and only
ever) wife, I worry for nothing. She assures ll\e chat no column could ever
make me seem clever or interesting. ■
The sooner breast cancer is detected, the better
the chance of treating it successfully. That's why
monthly breast self-exams, regular medical
checkups and mammograms are so important.
Visit komen.org or call
1.800 l'M AWARE"
to learn more.
The Susan
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September 2006
I 71
Trans Questions continued from page 59
straight, sexual inclinations.
Ir's impossible co know exactly what's inside street
take physical seeps to transition, many dyke circles
express a willingness to adapt to the community's
changing needs. When embracing friends who may
be examining their paths, lee chem know chat whatever they decide, their identity and their friendship
compounds, and sharing needles and vials is a quick
way to spread dangerous diseases. Using hormones
is safest with regular medical checkups co monitor
the physical and emotional effects of transition. If
someone muse take street hormones, the Web sire
will be honored, says J.J., a genderqueer, transidentified individual from New York. If there is a
question about someone's pronouns, ask in private.
Transgender-friendly language goes a long way
cowardbeing inclusive,as does a strict"no gender polic-
marriages outside Massachusetts.
TheBody.com recommends chat they be taken orally
to "avoid the difficulties of having to obtain, use and
ing' policy,meaning everybody'sself-declaredgender is
truthful and correct regardlessof appearances.But use
My partner's sexual orientation is queer.
Will it still be queer now that he's FTM?
dean injection equipment:'
trans-inclusive language with caution; lesbian venues
that welcome"women and ITMs"for instance, can be
Texas, Florida, Illinois and Ohio have similar rulings
which act as legal precedents but are not necessarily
codified as law. Still, as a result of one court's ruling.
some Texas courts have ceased issuing change-ofgender court orders at all, "so it does have some real
effect;' Daley says.There's also a flip side to the negative court rulings: Ironically,they may be interpreted
to mean chat a cransgender person can marry if he or
she is in a same-sex couple, resulting in some lesbian
My partner gets honnones off the street.
How dangerous is that?
Whether one's sexual attractions can change is a Are transgender people covered by the
loaded question, particularly as ex-gay "conversion" Americans with Disabilities Act regarding
movements argue against LGBT equality by contendemployment, housing and public accoming chat sexual orientation is a 'choice'.'Many people
modation protections?
attest to branching out sexuallya.fi:erdiscovering new There are no transgender protections in the fed-
seen co invalidatecranswomen or men who don't wane
to be distinguished from nontransgender men. Calling
something 'queer" or "allgenders" rather than "lesbian''
parts of their identity or becoming more comfortable
in their bodies. Hormones also play an undeniable role
in sex drive, and there is at least anecdotal evidence
to suggest chat satisfying an increased appetite may
coincide with increasing one's available options. Still,
many who choose "queer" do so specificallybecause
it describes their cultural identification in a multi-
identity the guiding principle in gendered spaces.
gendered community, and also allows for numerous
nuanced attractions and a self-identity chat is nor
reliant upon the gender(s) of their partners. Thus,
there are ITMs who date only women who still consider themselves queer,just as there are bisexuals who
refuse to be labeled as straight simply because they
are in an opposite-sex coupling. The more flexible
che queer community is, the more likely it is to have
eral ADA, but some state disability laws have been
interpreted to cover trans people and many governments and business have adopted nondiscrimination protections. Advocacy group GenderPAC
lists 120 major corporations chat have added
gender identity and expression co their nondiscrimination policies. GenderPAC also points to
23 states chat have either enacted specific gender
identity protections or had court or administrative
rulings in favor of such protections.
How can I welcome people who move toward transition but haven't come out to
me as transgender?
or "women only" is a good bee. If you exclude men,
exrend chat exclusion to cransmen and make self-
I'm attracted to an MTF lesbian who hasn't
had bottom surgery, and I'm uncomfortable around penises. What should I do?
It depends, largely,on what you both like doing. MTF
lesbian Valerie notes chat long-term estrogen therapy
hasa shrinking effect on the penis, and many MTFs
"keep it tucked away" anyway. Many MTFs will be
'Just as uncomfortable'' with it, she says, while some
lesbian couples treat it simply as "an enlarged clitoris:•
But most of all, says Valerie, negotiating sexual
comfort requires open communication. "It requires,
As more people embrace "cransgender" as an
like anything else, some planning ahead;' she said.
"But a big part of any type of sex is communication:·
room for people with a variety of self-defined, not
umbrella term to describe their identities and/ or
- Zak Szymanski
Going Under contin_u_e_d_fr_o_m_p_a~ge_5_7
______
_
who meet monthly co discuss everything from the
and the quality of the surgical interventions."
a genderqueer or third gender identity ever being
recognized or respected, the impossibility of pass-
political climate to the city's best margarita.
"I looked around the room and found chat
ing without medical intervention; just nor being
sure who I am yec:•
there were other women sitting like I do, talking
the way I do:• At that moment, Kravitz realized she
wasn't the last butch out there. "All I kept chinking
was, why am I doing chis~This is who I am:•
Transgender and genderqueer people are
becoming ever more visible. In conjunction with
chat visibility is an increased sense of community. Community can create an "us versus chem"
"It's hard to fit into society without a label,
and I was forced into a box char didn't quite fie;·
Kravitz says with disdain. "I never fully saw myself
as a man; I just thought it was where I belonged:'
Kravitz is part of a generation of lesbians for
whom the label "butch" is a dying term chat's becoming increasingly interchangeable with the "transgender:• Many young. butch lesbians are identifying
with the trans and genderqueer scene. Kravitz, feel-
Few Regrets, Though
Few studies have been conducted on regrets. A
2002 study published at the University of Liege
in Belgium, "The Transsexual: What About the
Future?" reveals char serious and long-lasting re-
phenomenon and may cause gender-questioning
people to rush into medical transition as a way to
find solidarity with the closest community.
"All people are a mix of feminine and masculine qualities. Recognizing chat mix in oneself
does not necessarily mean chat medical, social,
legal, etc., steps must be acted upon," says one
respondent to Green's survey.
ing awkward and unsafe in her own body, felt like
transitioning was the right choice at the time.
grets are rare, but suicidal attempts sometimes happen after surgery. A 1998 Cambridge study deals
more directly with what it calls "Factors Associated
Psychotherapist Lin Fraser says, "When it
comes to gender identity disorder, [we] diagnose
the condition and treat the stigma:•
The day Kravitz realized that she identified more
as a non-gendered butch lesbian than as a trans-
with Satisfaction or Regret Following Male-toFemale Sex Reassignment Surgery:• Researcher
gender man came more than two years later, when
she attended a group at the LGBT Community
Services Center in downtown Manhattan called
Anne A. Lawrence found only 15 cases of postoperative regrets, a mix of both male-co-female
and female-co-male, from a variety of causes. There
were "doubts about the correctness of the diagno-
For questioning folks, especially those who
don't fie a binary system, there's little dialogue on
the possibility of mistaken diagnosis, leaving LGB
and transgender communities unaware if this phe-
the Burch/Femme Society. The group consists of
about a dozen women, mostly in their 30s and 40s,
72
I curve
sis, doubts about the feasibility of the role reversal,
nomenon is legitimate. Perhaps most importantly,
though, it leaves chose who are victims of mistaken
identity feeling as though they are alone. ■
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I73
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I curve
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I 75
VOL. 16#6
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September 2006
I 79
Top Ten Reasons We Love Jeannie "Jae" Sevelius
If you think drag kings are so lase decade, think
again. Kinging has evolved into an increasingly
popular form of cabaret, and the best drag kings
push the gender identity envelope while using a
lot of smart showmanship. Think backup dancers,
elaborate costumes and, yes, plenty of sex appeal.
San Francisco'sJeannie "Jae"Sevelius, who rules the
kinging stage as his alter-ego Jay Walker, took home
the crown at the 2005 San Francisco Drag King
Contest, which recently celebrated its 11th anniversary. Bue Jay Walker's seductive stage presence
isn't the only reason we love her. Did we mention
Sevelius is a doctor? Yum. - RebeccaChekouras
1. She's got unmistakablestage presence.
Sevelius knows a good show is all about che
energy level she can create, and she doesn' c hold
back.Jay Walker's winning performance was a roofshaccering (and purple-draped) medley of Prince
songs. "!e's the best adrenaline rush ever;' Sevelius
says of being Prince for a day.
2. Shelikesto stripdownto the basics."Kinging
is about being who I am;' Sevelius says. "No
inhibitions:• Kinging is not about pretending
to be a man, but "getting in touch with my own
natural masculinity."
3. She'sa pro.Drag king by night, clinical psychologist by day, Sevelius is a professional at boch.
As she developed her career in psychology, her
drag identity followed apace, and today the two
inform each ocher brilliantly. Gender issues, which
accommodate the full spectrum of"self;' play out
on stages and podiums wherever she performs or
speaks at national conferences.
4. Sheunderstands
genderbothonstageandoff.
Sevelius, who earned her Ph.D. at che University
of Missouri in St. Louis, is an outspoken advocate
for a more fluid understanding of gender. "A big
passion of mine as a psychologist is raising awareness about gender identity disorder and what happens co kids diagnosed with ic:•
"BeingJayWalkerhasgivenme morecourage.I have
muchlessconcernaboutwhat peoplethinkof me.•,
winning the hearts of queers who frequent San
Francisco's notorious gender-bending club, and
in 2005 she won che San Francisco Drag King
Contest with her sexy take on Prince.
7. She'shot!As a man or a woman. Part of her
9. She'salwaysprepared.A lot of prep work
happens before Jay Walker cakes the stage, from
selecting the songs co designing che costumes,
from rehearsing complex choreography ( often
with a team of backup dancers) co editing video
clips for che venue's backdrop. Sevelius even
researches the audience she expects to have and her hard work shows.
5. Shebreaksrules.At first, Sevelius didn't chink
appeal is a double take on everything. Sevelius
is a choughcful, articulate, intelligent critic of
social mores and culture. But in addition co a quiet,
she was butch enough to king, but letting Jay
Walker evolve changed how Sevelius chinks about
brainiac appeal, her ferocious onstage masculinity
amplifies her femininity.
10. Shegivesbackto the community.
"The work
hersel£ "Being Jay Walker has given me more
courage," she says. "I have much less concern about
what people chink of me. I'm trying to challenge
expectations about gender:'
6. She'sa champ.In 2004 Sevelius picked up che
tide of Mr. Trannyshack 2004 on her first cry,
so Icurve
8. She'sout,way out.A big pare of Jay Walker's
stage dynamic is her clear message of personal
courage and freedom, particularly for cransfolk or
women who choose a masculine scyle. The audience response is overwhelming - at times it's so
thunderous chat Sevelius can't hear her cues.
chat I do now is HIV prevention in high-risk
ethnic minority and cransgender populations;'
Sevelius explains. "They are living on che street,
homeless, drug-addicted; many are sex workers.
And I see chat I am in a privileged position." For
Sevelius, clinical psychologist, lesbian, artist, activist and drag king, kinging is about love, the gift
of courage and the pure joy of being. ■
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we knew it was important
From one mother's journey
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I've been
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especiallyin
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coupleof
years - it's
just likeI'm
followingmy
instinctson
everything.
The show
is ultimately
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instincts."
September 2006
26
The Open Rhode Life in Providence, R.I., has
never looked so sweet. By Beth Schwartzapfel
Comic Michele Balan This funny girl took Last
Comic Standing by storm. By Laurie K. Schenden
44
Alexandra Hedison She was the bad girl
who broke Helena's heart, but this openly gay
Hollywood hottie gets to show her softer side on
television now. By Laurie K. Schenden
Actor Carlease Burke One of television's hardest working lesbians finally gets her due.
By Laurie K. Schenden
52
Transgender 101 The trans girls and guys we
love, the answers we need and just why the heck
femme is a gender identity.
Bettie Page and now goes bi for Puccini.
Sexpot Gretchen Mol She turned us on with
::J
~
u.
0
page 48
a:
Le
~Cl)
fallen for a man, but this lesbian still knows what
Actor Heather Matarazzo Welcome to the
lesbian dollhouse, Heather. Can't wait to see your
new show. By Shauna Swartz
0
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s
!!!
w
0
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I
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3'
Filmmaker Cherien Dabis How do you juggle
The L Word and Palestinian life? Ask Dabis.
By Tracy E. Gilchrist
3
Reality TV maven Brooke Thompson Why
would a lesbian kiss Flavor Flav on 1V? Pumpkin
knows. By Catherine Plato
~
a:
::J
!!l.
0
a:
makes two girls fall in love. By John Esther
4
MadCat film festival's Ariella Ben-Dov and
Rebecca McBride Ten years later, the women
behind the famed fest are still going strong.
By Laura K. Cucul/u
Power Broker Roberta Munroe After five years
.ii
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Rocker Nancy Rancourt She could have been
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with us. By Renee Westbrook
;i;_
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By Laurie K. Schenden
Filmmaker Maria Maggenti She may have
0
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Volume 16#7
of programming at Sundance, this power player
goes solo in Hollywood. By Laurie K. Schenden
Scenesters Nikki Weiss and Carole Antouri
One is a famed celebrity stylist; the other owns an
acclaimed artist agency. Now they're taking on
Tinseltown together. By Dana Kaye
Cover Photoby
8 ,e Ch der,
Cl)
September 2006
I5
Departments
September 2006
"Youcan be
pickyaboGt
yourprospective
partner'sloo1<s,
morals,finances,
or sexual
orientation,but
you can't be
pickyaboutall
trose things
unlessyou'rea
wealthy,virgir
supermodel.I fa
short1na
categoryor two."
p 1qe
2
8
o
Frankly Speaking Publisher Frances
Stevens tells it like it is.
20 Scene Doria Roberts, Honey Labrador
Contributors Read all about 'em here.
22 Ask Fairy Butch She tells us where to
66
and lots of sexy girls.
Music Watch Margaret Coble takes
on Doria Roberts, KT Tunstall and
Divine MAGees. Plus, Tammy Hall,
Bananarama and 8 Inch Betsy.
find our G-spots.
68 Tech Girl Gadgets and accessories
10 Letters Lesbian atheists, anti-mom
bias and Alix Olson's knickers.
23
Lipstick & Dipstick They talk a
Melissa fanatic away from the edge.
that will bring your kitchen into the
space age.
12 Out in Front Up close and personal
with Miami's Alison Burgos, deaf performer Terry Galloway and activist Rauda
Morcos.
25 Astro Grrl Astrologer Charlene
62
14 Curvatures Gay pets ... Batwoman
goes gay ... Mapping our rights ...
Biology and destiny ... Lily Tomlin ... We
love lyari Limon even more now.
16 Open Studio Jocelyn Nevel makes art
out of your pantyhose.
69
Lichtenstein frets over fall.
64
Sapphic Screen Ellen Rosner Feig
takes us inside Tribeca. Plus, Nan
Kinney, Red Doors and Queer Duck.
In the Stacks Rachel Pepper explores
Hit by a Farm and Ariel Gore's The
Traveling Death and Resurrection Show.
Plus, Kate Braverman and poetry on CD.
Politics Victoria A. Brownworth
reminds us that the Bush administration has a new war: the war on
difference.
ui
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w
iii
!!l
70
Dyke Drama Michele Fisher on what
not to say to a woman.
a:
w
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0
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80
Top Ten Reasons We Love
Psychologist and Jay Walker alter-ego
Jeannie "Jae" Sevelius.
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Contributors
•
ti
t
"Blue-eyed soul is one thing, but the diminutive blonde rocking the 2005
San Francisco Drag King Contest as Prince was a whole new rake on
crossover;' says Rebecca
Chekouras,
who interviews showstopping winner
Jeannie "Jae"Sevelius on page 80. "I had become interested in kinging
recently, going to some of the local cabaret;' Chekouras explains, "but this
was my first drag king competition,and I was mesmerized by the level of
artistry: extremely professional. The annual contest is one of the best
shows the LGBT community - particularly the trans community here presents:· Chekouras, who stuffed herself into a black leather, strapless
bustier and screaming pink feather boa for the event, is at work on a novel
set in Palm Springs, The TurquoiseGate,about two dykes who wander in
the desert to escape the disappointment of lives lived too small and who
find more challenges, adventures and bizarre characters than they are
prepared to face. Chekouras lives in the San Francisco Bay area.
Ar the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commissions San
Francisco reception to celebrate Palestinian activist Rauda Morcos (see page
12), throngs of avid fans kept contributor Ariane
Conrad
from sirring down
with the woman of honor for a brief interview."Ir was almost rime for
Morcos to give her speech, and finally I had to bust in on a conversation chat
she and a VIP - who shall remain nameless - were thoroughly engrossed
in. Unforrunarely, said VIP is a major financial contributor to another
project I work with;' Conrad notes. "Luckily,I was wearing a name tag
identifying me as from
CURVE
magazine, and the VIP didrir recognize me:'
When she's nor writing for magazines like CURVE and LiP, Conrad works for
a national philanthropy organization char encourages charitable giving for
srrucrural, systemic change, and builds bridges between activists and
community leaders fighting for socialjustice, donors and funders.
Needto get away?
We havethe perfectplace.
Actually,we have9,000.
"Ir's an amazing experience to spend 10 days inside a movie cheater
watching film afrer film;' says contributor EllenRosner
Feig,who covers the
Tribeca Film Festival in chis issue (see page 62), and realizes that LGBT
filmsare becoming more and more mainstream. "The ambitious nature of
Ourguidesare packedwith
LGBTaccommodations,
bars,
bookstores,
cafes& more,
acrossthe US,Canada,
Europe& beyond.
chis year's Tribeca Film Festival meant that I saw no sunlight for days at a
rime, ate a bus load ofT wizzlers and drank a tub of Dier Coke:' Feig
writes on entertainment copies for numerous outlets including The
HollywoodReporter,Hollywood.com, Skuawk.com and ImposeMagazine.
Her nonfiction book, The Ex Files:Women, Litigationand Liberty,was
published by Adams Media in June 2006.
"As a child of the '60s, I could only dream of a job where you could acrually
party all night long, while helping people at the same time;' says freelance
writer SherylKay,who interviews fundraiser and party planner excraordinaire Alison Burgos in this issue (see page 12).'Tuat's what we thought we
were all about: blasting the music in smoke-filled rooms lit with black lights,
talking about how we were going to feed the poor, help minorities and join
the Peace Corps:'Talking with Burgos made Kay realize the old hippie
rradirions truly live on -
soo/ 462-6654
Callfor a free catalog,
or log on to our onlineservice.
www.d am ro n .com
a I curve
and Kay has been a part of keeping the dream
alive.Three years ago, Kay scarred Tampa Chaverot, the first and only
nonprofit social organization for Jewish lesbians in the southern United
States. When the girls aren't in a coffee klarch, Kay volunteers with another
group along the west coast of Florida, leading dykes deep into palm scrub
forests in the hot new sport of geocaching. When she's not partying it up or
contributing co several magazines and newspapers, Kay spends her rime
running afrer her two awesome kids, Simone and Elijah, and their delicious
Dalmatian, Xena.
Connect in Ontario, Canada.
It's hard to imagine a more gay and lesbian-friendly place than Ontario, Canada. Home to the third largest gay
and lesbian population in the world, Toronto is a mature, laid-back big city of flair and sophistication, generosity and
warmth. Film. Theater. Art. Music. Food. Wine. We've got them all here. And more. Plus a fabulous gay village, alive
with bars and discos, cafes and clubs.
Just over an hour away is the Niagara Region, the location of Niagara Falls and center of
one of the world's most exciting emerging wine regions. Drive the Wine Route,
lunch in a vineyard, then head back to Toronto for an evening of theater, a late
supper in a downtown bistro and a nightcap in a friendly, cosmopolitan bar.
For more information, visit www.ontariotravel.net/GLBT
or call 1-800-ONTARIO.
Letters
'We hate when queers are made invisible,
but it's almost like
vE:made both these
women invisible as mothers. I am rather
disappointed that no one thought to include
these kids in the obits - especially when
one of the women is the founder of
Girl-Mom.com."
My19-year-old
daughter,
KatyFabula,
enjoysyour
Cli
magazine.
Beinggayin a
ruralcommunity
is hard
for her.I thinkmydaughter
is prettyamazing.
Bythe
ageof 17,shewasalready
quiteanaccomplished
singer-songwriter.
..
Unfortunately,
onChristmas
Evein 2004,at age18,Katy
suffered
a severerightfrontal
intracranial
hemorrhage
- in otherwords,a stroke.
Formanydays,Katywasnot
ableto speakor see;she
wouldusesignlanguage
to
r I RP
letusknowshewasOK.She
Love you guys! Just got my new issue (Vol. 16, #5) and I do
evenmadejokesthroughthis
appreciate all the extra info and goodies. Just a comment
terribletragedy.
Now,Katyis
though: I found the font is different and/ or smaller. It was a
back.Initially,
hervoicewas
a littleweak,butnowshe's tad difficult to read at times. Ocher than chat, everything else
performing
evenbetterthan
in the issue is fabulous. Keep up the great work!
beforethestrokeandcom- ]., San Francisco
posingnewmaterial.
I want
to rewardhercourage
and
1
0 Ii• Si
celebrate
herfull recovery.
I wanttheworldto seeand
I was shocked ... co read Sue's letter (Vol. 16, #5) bemoaning
hearwhata wondersheis.
the lack of lesbian atheism magazines or "acknowledgments"
- NancyFabula-Hevey,
in the gay community about LGBT atheists. While I cancerBaltimore,
Md.
tainly understand wanting to be represented as a member of
{heveyn@mdmildep.org)
Ax's U d s
Where can I buy the cute little panties chat Alix Olson is wearing in the June 2006 issue on page 52 ("Couples That Play
Together Seay Together;' Vol. 16, #5)? My friends and I are
having a fierce competition. Who will be the first to get their
hands on a pair of'Tll be your woman or your man"?
-
Tammy, via e-mail
Editor's note: Well, Tammy, we checked with Alix, and, actually,
those cute little briefs are sold by Pamela Means through her Web
site, pamelameans.com. When we told Means that you had asked
how to get your own pair, she assured us, "I'll stock 'em up good!"
a subcommunity, I feel that the LGBT community is signifiI ama 47-year-old
lesbian. cantly more tolerant of atheists than ofLGBT people who are
Ninemonthsago,I became religious. When I came out as a lesbian at 15, I expected to
involved
witha womanI
have a difficult time with people in my Christian community
haveknownsinceI was11.
Maxineis a wonderful
human dealing with my sexuality. What I didn't anticipate was chat the
being- creative,
intelligent, friends I would develop in the LGBT community often would
funnyanda talented
singer, have almost the same amount of difficulty understanding,
songwriter
andmusician. believing or accepting chat I was a Christian.
In2001,shehadsurgery,
Some of these difficulties are well-founded ... but the face
andthoughshehashada
remains
that it was incredibly difficult to be a Christian in alesremarkable
recovery,
shestill
bian community, and I have found chis to be more than simply
hasnumbness
ononeside
of herface,losthearingin
my personal experience. So it frustrates me to hear Sue lamentoneearandstruggles
with
ing the lack of articles about lesbian atheists, or her saying chat
tiredness
andenergylevels.
the lesbian community "never" supports LGBT atheists. I wish
Maxineis astalented
asever,
andheronelifelongdream she would ... consider the ocher side of the picture, to understand the challenges that her religious LGBT peers face.
is to recordhermusicand
beheard.I wouldloveto
- Katherine, Washington, D.C.
helpherfulfillherdreams.
- Francine
Ross,NewYork
Ba.
s o Requ
(music4maxine@aol.com)
I am looking for scholarships for the upcoming 2006-2007
~.ss, g Moms
In the June 2006 issue (Vol. 16, #5), in the obituaries for
Editor'snote:Wow!Tell school year; I will be starting as a first-year medical school
hertogoforit. Talkto dyke student chis fall. Most medical school scholarships that I have
musicians,
go toMichigan found are created specifically for "minority students." Along
Womyn's
MusicFestival
with each scholarship should be a little fine print that says,
and,if youstrugglewith
"minority:
does not include sexual orientation minority, but all
your(dis)abilities
or areover
40,talktolesbianmusic ochers may apply:•Any advice on where a person who is clearly
pioneers
likeBarbGalloway not a minority student by standard scholarship definition can
(gallowayandluckett.com).
find some much-needed money for med school?
When I picked up the June issue of CURVE yesterday, I couldn't
-
10 I curve
Megan Wangh, via e-mail
Allison Crews and Wendy Wasserstein, no mention was made
of the children they left behind. Boch were single mothers who
had children they were extremely devoted to. Ocher important
details of both these women's lives were mentioned, but the
most important to either of chem would have been their children. In both these cases the prominence of their single mother
experience - in Wasserstein's by choice, in Crews' as a result
of a teen pregnancy (and therefore the start of her advocacy)
- should have been the leadoff, and I was so sad to see chat
in neither case was their child even mentioned by name. We
hate when queers are made invisible, but it's almost like CURVE
made both these women invisible as mothers. I am rather disappointed chat no one thought co include these kids in the
obits - especially when one of the women is the founder of
Girl-Mom.com.
-
a
Rachel Pepper, CURVE book review editor
1a
have dreamed of a more amazing, powerful, beautifully written article than what I found inside on me and Fresh Meat
("Queer Poetry in Motion" and "Keepin' le Fresh;' Vol. 16, #5).
Zak articulated my own work, my vision and my work in the
community and Fresh Meat's work, vision and work in the
community so clearly, powerfully and compellingly. And I am
so excited chat these articles will connect my own work, and
Fresh Meat's mission and programs, with gigantic new national
audiences. What a wonderful fifth anniversary (of
Fresh Meat!) gift.
- Sean Dorsey, Artistic Director,
Fresh Meat Productions
finally free to cell people who I really am! I cell you
chis because I was born with a disability: cerebral
palsy. It is a very mild case and has affected only
my lower half. I'm very self-conscious about it and
chink that this is partly the reason I haven't met
I wanted to thank you for featuring me in Out in
Front ("Feminist Firebrand;' Vol. 16, #5). It really
anyone to share my life with yet.
I just read your story on lesbians with disabilities. Thanks for writing it. It helped a lot. Thanks
too for having CURVEmagazine. I guess you could
means a lot to me. I've been interviewed before, but
this is the first time that I'm completely satisfied
with the story and wasn't misquoted. I absolutely
love the piece, especially that the organizations I'm
involved with are named and therefore get cover-
say chat I'm undereducated in the area of making
love to a woman and having her make love to me.
I realized that afrer reading your December issue. I
age, and am so honored that you put me in CURVE. am a subscriber now. I'm just about ready to renew.
It really is one of the best things chat has happened
Keep the magazine coming!
- Wendy E. Smith, via e-mail
to me.
-
have worked with and personally know numerous women who were assaulted by other women.
I was saddened that CURVEprinted an article
chat feeds into the silence lesbian survivors face.
Instead of ignor~ng it, turning a blind eye or denying it, we as a community need to talk about it,
acknowledge that women are not perfect, and get
to work on prevention.
- Carrie Moylan, Saline, Mich.
E-mail letters@curvemag.com; write to CURVE
Letters, 1550 Bryant Sc., Ste. 510, San Francisco,
CA 94103; or fax to 415-863-1609. Please
include your name, city and state. Letters may be
edited for clarity and length.
Miranda Elliot, Chicago
I am a recently out lesbian and feel 100 percent
great about finally coming out. When I came out
to my family, it was an awakening - they all had
already known but didn't say anything to me. I've
lost a lot of friends since coming out - they just
don't understand or they are a bunch of prudes
or something. I'm 43 years old this May and am
I want to thank CURVEfor publishing an article
in the April 2006 issue about the issue of rape
("Fighting Rape on Campus;' Vol. 16, #3). I have
worked in the sexual assault and domestic violence
In the publisher's column, Frankly Speaking, of
our May 2006 issue (Vol. 16, #4) we incorrectly
identified Pandora and Ultra Events; they are
field for years and was proud to see CURVEpaying attention to chis terrifyingly common crime.
However, I also was extremely disappointed to see
that the article implies that all rapists are men. I
sponsors of Aqua Girl and Girls in Wonderland.
Aqua Girl is produced by the Women's
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I 11
Party pt,· an '1rop·st
Star of he S age
Some people need an excuse to party. Alison
Burgosmakes a living by partying.
Go to Miami's South Beach any weekend
night, and you'll find Burgos' Pandora and
Ultra Events hosting a lesbian bash at some hot
She's been called dea£ insane, a writer, a performer and a lesbian, but TerryGalloway
truly
nightclub. From the music and entertainment
to the food, drinks and decorations, Burgos
and her business partners create the entire
scene for upward of 500 women each night.
But the real splash Burgos makes is with
her Aqua Girl event, now in its sixth year.
Thousands of women converge on South
bottle glasses and a hideous, radio-sized heating
aid that fit between my boobs like a third one:·
On more than one occasion, she was
marginalized because of her deafness, with
(above right) was recently honored with
the 2006 Felipa de Souza Award from the
International Gay and Lesbian Human
Rights Commission for her work on behalf of
Palestinian and Arab lesbians living in Israel
and the Occupied Territories. Morcos leads
ASWAT (Arabic for"voices"), an advocacy
group based in Haifa, Israel, that provides
meeting space for its members as well as public
education on their behal£
Lesbians in Morcos' homeland face discrimination on three fronts: as women in a male-
Beach for this four-day experience filled with
dancing, live music, comedy performances and
celebrity appearances.
people consistently ignoring her desire to act.
"It royally pissed me off,' Galloway says, but
it was just enough to push her to make things
dominated society, as Palestinians living under
Israeli rule and as lesbians in a culture where
And the best part2 Every penny generated at Aqua Girl goes to the Women's
Community Fund, a nonprofit organization
founded by Burgos in 1999 that raises funds
for a wide variety of women's groups and
charities in south Florida. Last year alone,
happen on her own.
She co-founded a cabaret in Austin, Texas,
the consequences for expressing their sexuality
are ofren severe. Afrer Morcos mentioned her
started writing and performing in her own
shows, and landed gigs at WOW, the New
York women's theater collective, and P.S. 122, a
multidisciplinary art center also in New York.
"Not a bad trade-off if you don't mind eschewing money, fame, power and influence;• she says.
orientation in a newspaper interview, her car
windows were smashed, she received threats,
and she lost her job as a teacher.
At the IGLHRC award reception in San
Francisco last May, Morcos insisted that all
the women of ASWAT shared the honor
Despite the lack of money and power,
Galloway's influence on queer theater and
on theater for the disabled has been profound. She has performed everything from
with her: ''An organization is meaningless
without all the people who make it up:'
Morcos said she feels disappointed that
the global LGBT community has not connec-
Shakespeare to her own highly acclaimed drag
act as Jake Rarchett, Shorr Detective. Now
she produces queer theater in Tallahassee,
Fla., with her partner, Donna Nudd, and the
Mickee Faust Club, which they co-founded.
ted to the struggles of other oppressed minorities. She called on the LGBT community in
the United States to put more pressure on
Aqua Girl raised $86,000 for the Women's
Community Fund.
'"This is about women having a seat at the
table;• Burgos says. "Now we have our own
organizations for our own specific needs:
health issues, political needs, equal rights
issues:' Organizations that have benefited
from the Women's Community Fund include
the Maumer Project and the Miami Gay and
Lesbian Film Festival.
Some wonder why Burgos spends so
much of her time working charity events.
Afrer all, it's not like she has endless time on
her hands.
"I love it," she explains. '"This is really my
passion. Once you have a great experience
making a difference in someone's life, or in a
community, I don't know how you wouldn't
want to do it all the rime:• - Sheryl Kay
12
defies any attempted labeling.
Born to a mom who had taken antibiotics
that interrupt normal neurological fetal development, Galloway lost her hearing as a child
and experienced terrifying hallucinations. Her
early memories include "being fitted with Coke-
Palestinian poet and activist RaudaMorcos
Icurve
When Galloway looks for meaning in her
work, she says, "I think of myself and all the
other people I've known who have similar
stories about being disregarded, thrown away,
rejected - or, miraculously, rescued by love.
Those are the people whose company I keep,
with whom I work and create. IfI matter, it is
only because they matter, too:• - Sheryl Kay
the government to change racist laws as well
as "to bring an end to the war in Iraq and the
war against Palestine, which your taxes are
basically underwriting:•
She also urged the gay community to "take
a more intentional stance, not just liberal,
and to demand a change from the patriarchal
system in which we live. We need rights as
individuals, not just as married people or as
parents:• - Ariane Conrad
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"8"
Curvatures
Get Your Ticket to Hell
Good girls gone bad, campy musical theater, an
ambiguously queer boyfriend and a real-life easyon-the-eyes lesbian couple are just a few draws of
One Way Ticket to Hell, writer Drew Taylor's pulpy
GAY PETS ON
PARADE
cautionary tale (in the vein of Reefer Madness) now
making a West Coast debut at the Marilyn Monroe
Theatre in West Hollywood.
Lesbian
authorandformer
The lesbian couple who sings together, stays
Playboy
playmate
Stephanie
together in this production starring Kristen Howe,
Adamswasailoverthe
news,aftershewasalleg- in a part written specifically for her, and real-life
edlyassaulted
byNewYork girlfriend Erin Stoddard. Howe plays Cassandra
policemen.
Butnostrifewas
Leigh, a gal on a wayward path to reefer, heroin
in sightat theRubyfruit
Pet
and eventually an asylum, while Stoddard camps
PridePageant
lastJune,
it up as Cassandra's troublemaking-hooker-withwheresheandLizaMinnelli
a-heart sidekick, Cindy. This over-the-top show
werecelebrity
judgeswho
culls material from the film of the same title and
hada barkinggoodlime.
Thelesbian-owned
Rubyfruit features music by Robert Cioffi and the direction
hostedthefundraiser
forthe
of Richard Hochberg.
Mayor'sAlliance
forNYC's
One Way is rife with homage to 1960s-style
Animals,
whichfeatured
a
musicals and can easily be described as a mix of Grease, The
cutestdogandpetandperRocky Horror Picture Show and Hairspray. Besides playing
sonlook-alike
contests
anda
butch/femme
showdown.
The
Cassandra's bad-girl gal pal, Stoddard morphs into a host
winningpetgotto ridein the
of roles, including a nameless Asian character, a randomly
NewYorkLGBTPrideParade.
Slovakian prison matron and Cassandra's nosy neighbor from
- DianeAnderson-Minshall
across the fence.
"I get to show off some comic chops;• Stoddard admits.
The plot revolves around Cassandra's journey, which includes a
shameful spiral into relationships with the wrong kind of men
- a greaser named Chico and another who "doth protests too
much" about his purported homosexuality - family problems,
her stepfather's questionable morals and, eventually, the needle
and'Junk:'
"She's a good girl gone bad and she never goes good again;•
Howe says.
For Howe and Stoddard, who drove from New York's
Lower East Side to Manhattan Beach, Calif., their cats in tow,
to star in the show, working together is a breeze. Their love
story emulates the plot trajectory of all great American musicals, in which the lead couple sings and dances their way into
each other's hearts. Somewhere between the footlights and the
offstage costume changes five years ago, Howe and Stoddard
discovered that they were in love.
Stoddard, who took her dancing shoes to the stage in the
2001 Broadway revival of 42nd Street, says there's no jealousy
for these lesbian thespians and jokes that there have so far been
no Showgirls-style career-wrecking moments when one of them
tosses marbles at the feet of the other. But what happens onscreen may be a different story. -
Tracy E. Gilchrist
Visit onewaytickettohellthemusical.comfor more information.
Is It a Bird? A Plane? A Lesbian Bat?
Just who is that gorgeous, 5-foot-10-inch redhead in
Latinos, Asians, blind fighters, wheelchair warriors and
the knee-high red boots with spiked heels? Yes, it's true:
Afrer her 27-year hiatus, DC Comics is reintroducing
Batwoman to its legendary lineup of superheroes. And
she's not just coming back. Batwoman is coming out.
This summer, DC Comics announced that Batwoman
more. Some comic book aficionados are guarded about
this recent development, wondering why DC Comics
made such hype about Batwoman's sexuality.
"There's no objection from my corner about featuring
a homosexual as a main character;• says Chuck Dixon,
is being reincarnated as her old alter ego, socialite Kathy
who wrote many of the Batman comics from 1990
Kane. But this time, when the pearls and fine dresses
to 2001. At the same time, he says he hopes the new
Batwoman is "an interesting character with honest emo-
come off and the tight-fitting leather goes on, Kane
becomes a lesbian crime fighter.
While the announcement may have come as a surprise to some, DC Comics has been on the vanguard
of inclusion by featuring women as superheroes for
decades, as well as pushing for African Americans,
14
Icurve
tions and motivations who also happens to be gay, rather
than a lesbian - capital T - Batwoman who is nothing
more than a shallow promotional ploy:'
Until the verdict is unmasked, watch out, Clark. Lois
might be next to join our team. -
Sheryl Kay
cer
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Ohio is off the Map
What does reproductive justice have in common with rights
for the LGBT community~ A lot, according to a recently
formed coalition consisting of the National Gay and Lesbian
Task Force, Sister Song Women of Color Reproductive Health
Collective, and Ipas, an international organization working to
advance women's reproductive and sexual rights. These three
groups collaborated to create Mapping Our Rights, a new interactive online tool chat helps navigate discrimination against
women, men and families, at mappingourrights.org.
"We find in our work chat political opposition to one set of
human rights, such as women's access to contraception and abortion, creates che space for opposition to other kinds of human
rights, such as the rights of LGBT people;• says Loretta Ross,
National Coordinator of SisterSong. "The same constituency is
fighting against all of our rights, but in response to them, weve
historically divided ourselves by separate social justice issues. We
realized we needed to start working together:·
One thing that organizers had lacked was comprehensive,
up-to-date data on different states' stances on sexual and reproductive issues - and so the map was born. Intended as a tool
for researchers, journalists, activists and others, this interactive
U.S. map ranks each state by its policies on issues like abortion,
same-sex partnership and access to birth control and sex education. The most progressive areas in both reproductive and sexual
rights turn out to be New England and the far western seaboard,
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as well as New Mexico; the least hospitable are Ohio, Kentucky,
Indiana, and North and South Dakota. The site also offers some
handy information in each state's snapshot, including doctor-topatient ratio, racial breakdowns and stats on wealth distribution, access to health care, infant mortality rates and more.
Ranked close to last, Louisiana's page includes the story of
Elizabeth and her pregnant 19-year-old daughter, duped by an
anti-choice activist named William Graham, who masqueraded
as a doctor at a 'clinic" with a name confusingly similar to a nearby,
legitimate reproductive healcl1care facility. It wasn't until it was
too late that mother and daughter realized he wasn't for real.
Jason Cianciotta, research director of the National Gay and
Lesbian Task Force Policy Institute, insists, "One thing that the
map effectively accomplishes is to depict how geography affects our civil rights and how same-sex couples are forced to
search out and relocate to places with the most accepting conditions and best protections:· His hope is that the Mapping Our
Rights project will help break down artificial barriers among
Americans. - Ariane Conrad
"The right wing realized that gay marriage was as
emotional an issue for some people as abortion,
and they pushed it forward, and we let them do it.
And then we got suckered into it - and said, 'Oh,
yes, sure, we should be married,' and then we
fell right into their hands.">> Rit~ Mae Brown to
Between the Lines
"Superskinny women really irritate us. We hate when
they say, 'Sometimes I just forget to eat.' Now,
I've forgotten my anniversary and where I parked
my car. But I've never forgotten to eat."
>> Sela Ward to Esquire
"One of the failings of the old feminist movement was
that it didn't make room for homemakers. And
it should have. We've swung back another way
now. There's the whole biology-is-destiny thing.
This is where you say to me, 'Rap on, sister."'
>> Lily Tomlin to Time
"I didn't want to be there. No one banned me from
being there. But I didn't want to stand up and
cheer.">> Mary Cheney to ABC's Primetime
Live on why she refused to attend President
Bush's 2004 State of the Union address, in
which he defended the "sanctity of marriage"
September 2006
I 15
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Jocelyn Nevel
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You will never look at underwear
~
the same way again. Artist
Jocelyn Nevel stitches
together feminine garments such as bras and pantyhose to create massive installations that challenge
gender traditions. In her piece Crotches(above), Nevel cut out crotches from pantyhose, stitched
chem together and screeched the fabric in embroidery hoops, creating the unique wall hangings displayed at the Riverside and Hyde Park arts centers. She has constructed a quilt out of bra cups,
scuffed stocking feet to create phallic orbs clustered around the ceiling, and lined entire walls with
black panty liners. Nevel says chat the goal of her work is to challenge the traditions of art and gender
and to create something chat can be seen as both attractive and repulsive. Though she specializes in
these installations, her work ranges from photography to sculpture to performance art. In her series
Hair (left), she scanned clumps of her curly red hair and displayed the images in a grid. "I want my
work to provoke;' she explains. "I want to make people question the surface." - Dana Kaye
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Curvatures
The Other Side of Gay Science
Throughout my teens and into my 20s, I endeavored to be
gay. Children emulate those parents they adore, and I revered
my lesbian mom. Never mind her lectures on how homosexuals have it rough and how she'd be happier if I could save
myself - and her - some grief and just be straight. She was
my idol. In vain, I tried to muster up lust for others of my sex.
"Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club is hot;' I'd tell my
RIGHTS
ADVANCE
ACROSS
EUROPE
mother and her girlfriend. "Don't you think Madonna is a
babe? I do:·
My mother lost custody of me in the late '70s when she
came out as a lesbian. Faced with my attempted interest in the
fairer sex, she panicked. "Actually;•she replied, "I prefer Willie
Nelson."
In high school, much as I would have desired otherwise, my
eye went to the bespectacled yearbook editor - male - rather
than the pretty ingenue in the senior musical. I enrolled in college as a liberal studies major; still, cry as I might, I could not be
gay. Humiliated, I introduced boyfriend after boyfriend to my
mother. I moved in with a man around the time of Matthew
Shepard's murder.
"Good to meet you:· She clasped my new boyfriend's hand
30 percent of his interview subjects are homosexual. The article
abstract concludes chat these findings suggest that parents'
sexual inclinations influence their children's.
Somehow, he forgot co interview most of the queerspawn I
in hers, palpably relieved. "When's the wedding?"
Buoyed by my mom's acceptance of my sexual identity, I
know (yes, we children of gays and lesbians call ourselves queer-.
spawn) who identify as heterosexual. He forgot to interview
made my peace with it, too. If I was straight, then so be it. I
attended PFLAG meetings and marched in Gay Pride parades
- our and proud. This year, I even got married. My mother
me. Apparently, he never spoke with my lesbian friend Wendy,
daughter of a ramrod-straight Baptist preacher. He neglected
co talk with my transsexual friend Caitlin, who grew up with
her conservative grandma and great-grandma in a Phoenix
blessed our wedding site with a prayer for our marriage and its
longevity, and she cried joyful tears postceremony.
But recently, my old mortification has flared up again. The
May 2006 issue of The Journal of BiosocialScience includes
an article citied "Children of Homosexuals and Transsexuals
More Apt co be Homosexual:'
Once more, I have failed.
5
~
tank working to preserve the "traditional" family. He found chat
trailer park.
Do our parents' sexual "inclinations" influence us, as
Cameron's article suggests? Try as I might, I cannot love women
as my mother does. A marriage certificate sics framed on my
mantle, granting my husband and me a wealth of benefits chat
The author of the article, Paul Cameron, bases his research
on interviews with 77 adult children of homosexual parents
are still, unfortunately, denied to same-sex couples.
Still, some of my mother's influence has stuck. I'm
committed to helping those oppressed by fear and hatred.
who volunteered for three investigations. Cameron is chairman
of the Family Research Institute - a Colorado-based think
- Melissa Hart
LastspringtheCzech
Republic
became
thefirst
formerEastern-bloc
country
to legallyrecognize
samesexpartnerships.
Despite
President
VaclavKlaus'veto
of thebill in February,
a
majority
votebymembers
of Parliament
overrode
him.
Thenewlawgivessame-sex
couplestherightto inherita
partner'sproperty
andraise
children,
although
it does
notallowadoption.
Belgium
nowgrantslesbianandgay
couples
thesamerightsto
adoption
asstraightcouples.
Elsewhere
in Europe,
the
Netherlands,
Spain,Sweden,
England
andWalespermit
gaycouples
to adoptchildren.TheDanishgovernment
hasfinallypasseda law
allowinglesbians
access
to artificialinsemination,
a
practicebanned
since1997.
-Ariane Conrad
And maybe that's more important than who is in my bed.
:)
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Snatching Those Awards
.,
'The women around here are not only good listeners,
they also know their way around a snatch! I've never
Mullally also spoke in favor of same-sex marriage
and asked pointedly, "Don't you wish that George
been more relaxed;' quipped openly bisexual Megan
Mullally (right) at the 17th Annual GLAAD Media
Bush would just come out of the closet? Who but
a homo would be that obsessed with homos?"
Awards in San Francisco this June. Hundreds turned
our co celebrate media-makers for their accurate and
sensitive representations of LGBT lives and co, well,
Meanwhile, in her acceptance speech, giggly
Golden Gate Award recipient Jennifer Tilly said,
"GLAAD is an amazing organization. They do
z
~
see what emcee Mullally and curvaceous honoree
Jennifer Tilly would wear. (For the record, Mullally,
who was promoting her new NBC talk show, was
()
breathtaking in low-cue black satin.)
such a great job of standing up and saying, 'This is
not right. This is a negative stereotype. We refuse
to be marginalized. We refuse to be treated like
second-class citizens:" -Ariane
Conrad
~ll.
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September 2006
I 17
Curvatures
Lesbofile
The More Things Change
♦♦♦
We can never get enough of Whitney or Angelina, can we? I ByJocelynYoo
Watch your roes, ladies. This month, girls are coming our in droves. Which ones are legitimate is still
up for debate. Word from the wise: Open your
eyes and guard your hearts.
Hell to the No!
R&B legend WhitneyHoustonnor only likes co
partake in rhe white, according co sister-in-law Tina
Brown- she also likes co dip into rhe pink. Along
with selling photos of what's allegedly Houston's
bathroom (outfitted with crack pipes and ocher
drug paraphernalia) co the National Enquirer,
Brown cells the tabloid chat Houston was involved
in mulriple same-sex affairs, and char the Grammy
winner's husband, recording artist and penitentiary regular BobbyBrown,knew all about it. "Ir's
no secrec;•Tina says. 'Tve seen her with a woman
a couple of rimes. They were walking around without shirrs on when I came in rhe house:•
A Sordid Affair
Celebrity journalise Chaunce Hayden told rhe New
York Post char exotic dancer and former Howard
Sternradio show regular Debbie Roach - known
on-air as DebbieTay,rhe Space Lesbian - died
of a drug overdose in 1995 after JennyShimizu
allegedly asked Tay co acquire heroin for Shimizu
and AngelinaJolie,whom she mer while filming
Foxfire. "Debbie told me, 'Jenny gave me her ATM
card and wants me to buy $200 worth of heroin
and ship it co rhe Foxfire sec;" Hayden cold rhe Post.
"Jenny lacer called me and said how sorry she was
for what happened. She said she'd pay for the funeral, but she never paid a dime. She didn't even
go co the service." However, Hayden himself isn't
really one to talk about good caste. According co
IMDb.com, he once brought Tay's cremated ashes
onto Howard Stern's morning show and "played
with her ashes over the air:•
Bring on the Ladykillers
Years ago when Buffy the Vampire Slayer was
still on, every girl you knew was hoping Alyson
Hannigan
might be queer. Who else could execute
lesbian character Willow so perfecrlyf So maybe
rhar's why lyari Limon- slayer-in-training and
Willow's lover, Kennedy - flew underneath the
real-life gaydar. Limon, who was briefly married co
Napoleor1Dynamite actor EfrenRamirez,
came our
publicly in April and is now daring DJSandraEdge.
"I loved how she was just in her own lirrle world,
1s
I curve
"It was me, him, Lindaand 2,000 lesbians.Apparently
there was speculationabout whetherI was wearing
underwear.Look, I've been wearingshortskirts
onstageforeverand obviouslyI wear panties.Christ!"
and she was so cure;• Limon cold AfrerEllen.com.
"I love androgyny, androgynous women. You
know, short hair, really don't have to wear a lot of
makeup, pretty face, just cool and confident and
know who they are:' Iyari, consider yourself officially welcome in the land of lesbians.
Underneath It All
At the benefit for the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian
Community Center at the Henry Fonda TI1earer
last April, singer and perpetual rehab queen
CourtneyLove,Smashing Pumpkins fronrman
BillyCorganand songwriting legend LindaPerry
all belted it our onsrage in a one-rime-only performance. "It was me, him, Linda and 2,000 lesbians;• Love cells NME.com. "Apparenrly there was
speculation about whether I was wearing under
wear. Look, I've been wearing short skirts onsrage
forever and obviously I wear panties. Christ!"
Natural Disaster Warning
Puc EvaLongoria,
JessicaAlba,JessicaSimpson
and EvaMendeswithin a 5-mile radius of each
ocher. Watch the neighborhood implode under
their hotness. Longoria recenrly says of her three
"special" neighbors co G2 "They're my crushes. I
have intense love for these women:· TI1e Desperate
Housewives starlet (who, alas, is daring San
Antonio Spurs point guard TonyParker)says rhe
trio often comes over to her place, adding, "That's
our crew. Thar's our gang:• Don't say I didn't warn
you about the impending apocalypse. ■
Curvatures
Your Favorite Lesbian Movies
FRONTS
In the wake of BrokebackMountain,
and artistic style, there was a
Curvemag.com asked visitors co
cell us which lesbian movie should
go down in history as a pure classic.
The hands-down winner? Desert
Hearts.Bue don't chink there weren't
movie chat was on PBS back in
the '70s. It was called Tht;..War
Widow. It was about a woman
whose husband was at war, and
she ended up having an affair
with a woman photographer
and is disowned, I chink, by her
mother. Ic was so hard back then
another 79 movies that gave it a run
for its money, including Bound, The
Hours, If These Walls Could Talk 2
and runner-up, Tipping the Velvet.
Writers from around the globe
shared movie stories like chis from
one reader: "If These Walls Could
Talk 2 was one of the first lesbian
co ever see anything done artistically and in a positive light toward
lesbianism, and I was in my lace
movies I viewed as a teenager, chat
made me feel comfortable in my
own skin and not ashamed of who
I was. The three different stories each had a special meaning
chink chat anyone who ever saw it
was shocked at the boldness of it
for its day and time. I remember
teens just coming to terms with
the fact that I was different. I
to me, because as time passes I can keep returning to this film
and relating parts of my life. Hopefully certain aspects of each
woman's perseverance will have certain representation in my
life as it continues."
While Judy voted for Desert Hearts, she adds, "but for guts
gathering ac the apartment of a group of my first real lesbian
friends to watch it. Gosh, chat sure brings back memories chat
I haven't thought of in years."
LJU
LJU
BACKS
"NOT THAT
KIND OF
LESBIAN"
- Kiyohe
E.Lopez's
winning
sloganforcrnvE's
T-shirt
contest.If Hallmark
hadalso
beena sponsor,
Lopezwould
havehadourvotefor best
newgreeting
card,too,with
"Beware
of thosewhoadmire
yourrelationship.
Nextthing
youknowthey'rekissing
yourgirlfriend."
Goodadvice
indeed.
Guess what,Judy? You can finally relive the days of your lesbian youth: The War Widow is now available on DVD chrough.
Ladyslipper Music at ladyslipper.org. ■
an
FAN
oms
CENTRAL
September 2006
J
19
1 Doria Roberts and her adoring fans at the Girls in Wonderland pool party in Florida
2 A sexy singleton struts her stuff at Boise's LGBT Pride 3 CuRvE's executive editor, Diane
Anderson-Minshall, takes over che Idaho Scace Capitol steps as keynote speaker for Boise
Pride 4 Lipstick and Dipstick columnists Kathy Beige (left) and Gina Daggett (second from
right) flank Jacob and Diane Anderson-Minshall (center), and writer and SF LGBT Center
staffer Catherine Plato 5 Finally a rainbow we aren't sick of seeing, on this lovely lass in Boise
6 TV hottie Honey Labrador (left) with Daggett and cuRvE's associate editor, Malinda Lo,
at rhe San Francisco Pride VIP reception 7 CuRvE's sales and marketing team Danie Belfield
(left) and Sara Jane Keskula flank hoc-shoe photographer Kina Williams at Porcland Pride
20 I curve
Stolt naya BluebenFlavored R
Advice
COMING OUT
TO YOUR KID'S
TEACHER
Back-to-school
season
can
bea timeof excitement
for
childrenbuta timeof uncertaintyforlesbianparents,
because
everySeptember
meansa wholenewroundof
coming-out
stories.It maybe
tempting
to remainsilentuntil
situations
forceusto come
out,butif weexpectthe
adultsin ourchildren's
lives
to treatuswithre~pect,
then
wemusttellthemwhowe
are.Sharing
information
in an
introductory
letterisa great
start.Herearesometips:
Do it sooner rather
than tater. If,onthefirst
day,a teachersays,"Please
bringthisnotehometoyour
momanddad,"yourchildis
already
offto a rockystart.
Keep it brief. Onepage
is enough;
yourgoalis simply
to letyourchild'steacher
knowhow"out"youand
yourchildare.
Be clear. Besureto use
theword"gay"or "lesbian"
sothere'snoambiguity.
Name names. Istherea
Momanda Mommy?
Isthere
a dadin thefamily?Include
a familyphotoif you're
comfortable
doingso.
Urge the teacher to
share theletterwithallthe
adults,suchasthemusic
andartteachers,
whowork
withyourchild.It'shelpfulif
everyone's
in theloop.
Don't expect a reply.
Thebeginning
of theschool
yearis anextremely
busy
timeforteachers.
Justknow
thatyouhaveputthefirst
buildingblockof
communication
in place.
Offer to provide more
information. Beavailable
forphoneconversations,
or comein fora meeting
asneeded.
Keep your tone
professional, upbeat
and positive. Youare
neitherapologizing
nor
demanding;
you'resimply
introducing
yourfamilyso
thatteachers
canconnect
positively
withyourchild.
- MaryE.Cronin
Ask Fairy Butch
X Marksthe Spot
Dear Fairy Butch: I am a recently out 25-year-old and
I am loving life. My partner and I have an awesome
relationship. We are so happy and so much in love. My
issue is that one of our friends, a lesbian, is not supportive of our relationship. She talks behind my back,
lies to my partner and makes really horrible comments
about our relationship. To top it off, she and her partner don't have a good relationship, and she often
calls me to complain and bitch. Her attitude toward
my partner and me is strange, because she is the one
who hooked us up in the first place. How can I make
it known that I don't appreciate her attitude, while still
maintaining a friendship with her? - Confused Chick
in Charlotte
Dear Chick: Well, first off, maze! tov to you, dear girl. It
sounds like the world is your oyster! I don't know why your
friend makes these hurtful comments and tries to harm your
relationship. Maybe she's jealous of you and your relationship
with your partner. Maybe she misses the greater amount of
time that you spent together before your relationship began.
Maybe she's jealous of your partner and yearns to sample your
cupcakes. Who knows what's causing her bad behavior? But
she's responsible for it, and it needs to stop. Just be clear: Lay it
out for her. Often people act like this because they don't have
anything inreresring ro say. Be upfront with her and tell her this
kind of horse-hockey is just not going to fly,and that if it con-
since you will narurally want to approach the G-spot with your
sensitive fingertips rather than with your fingernails. The second technique places her in a squatting position where she can
readily bear down with her PC muscles, or the muscles of the
pelvic floor (she can easily locate them by stopping the flow of
tinues, it's going to affect your friendship with her. Meanwhile,
you'll want to make sure your own house is clean, hon, and that
you check your own behavior to ensure you're doing everything
you can to make things copacetic.
urine midstream). As she presses down with these muscles, her
G-spot will be pushed toward her vaginal opening and will be
easier to reach, by either you or your gal. In either case, the latter technique is particularly helpful to folks with short fingers.
While many women relish direct stimulation of their
Dear Fairy Butch: OK, I've been around the block a
time or two, and I still can't seem to get the skinny on
this thing they call the G-spot. I can't seem to find it,
and I'm a bit embarrassed that I don't know more. I
would like to explore it with my girlfriend; can you help
me out? - Foraging in Flint
G-spots, some find it irritating, especially if they are not sufficiently aroused. When you penetrate your partner's vagina,
avoid immediate incense contact of the G-spot, instead moving
coward direct stimulation as her arousal mounts. You will find
that the texrure and sensitivity of the G-spot will change with
Dear Flint: Well, sugar, let me see if I can give you a little
insight; pardon me if I get a little technical. The urethral
sponge, or G-spot, so named in tribute to gynecologist Ernst
Grafenberg, is located 2 to 3 inches inside the vagina on its
front wall toward the hair-covered mons pubis. It is sized
somewhere between a dime and a half-dollar in circumference;
has a moist, spongy, corrugared texture; and is wrapped around
the urethra to protect it from injury during penetration. When
a woman becomes aroused, it swells with fluid and protrudes
out a bit from the rest of the vaginal wall, thus becoming easier
to locate.
Here are two simple ways to find your girl's G-spot, pumpkin. The first method places her on all fours with her back
221 curve
arched, enabling you to reach in with palm facing downward,
sexual excitement, and its location will be affected by the position of your gal's body. Since the G-spot is wrapped around
the urethra and is adjacent to the bladder, many women feel
an urge to urinate when this spot is touched, especially if too
much stimulation is given too soon. The person being stimulated can become more comfortable with this sensation by
emptying her bladder before sex and putting a towel underneath her prior to being penetrated. You can also help her to
feel less self-conscious about this process by assuring her that
indeed, into each life some rain must fall, and it matters not
should this be such an occasion. ■
Gentle Readers: To submit your queries regardingthefiner points
of lesbian life, sexuality, romance and other matters of the heart,
send a note toJb@fairybutch.com.
Lipstick& Dipstick Advice
All Cried Out Over a Girl
hurt, but it's for your own good. Let me translate
"can't handle a relationship" for you. What it really
means is that she's fallen out of love with you and
has met someone else. Now, I bet you're bawling
even harder, aren't you? That's OK, let it all pour
out. When your soul's done detoxifying (it will
stop crying on its own), put this girl behind you,
close the door and lock it. In order to get your life
~
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Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: My girlfriend of
two years just dumped me, and I feel like
my life is coming apart. When she broke up
with me, in her e-mail she said she "can't
handle a relationship right now." We still
live together, but our lease will be up in a
couple of months, and I'm going through
hell. I find myself sobbing at my job, at
home and in the middle of Wal-Mart just
at the thought of her. I need my life back.
Lately, all I do is think about her and how
she popped this on me right after our anniversary, a night when we gave each other
presents and made love. It just doesn't
make sense. Please help me. I'm tired of
crying. - Bawling Baby in Boston
back, you must get away from her. This is the first
step, which means moving out stat, even if you
have to sleep on a friend's couch. Being around
rhe spineless wench will only sabotage the healing.
Pack it up.
Lipstick: You're better off without the bitch
- I have no use for cowardly women, and neither
should you. Her e-mail bomb drop simply reveals
what I bet you knew all along: that she not only
likes to eat it, but she's a pussy, too. This is gonna
like good sex to cake your mind off heartbreak.
P.S. What the hell are you doing shopping at
Dipstick: Boston, don't listen to Lipstick. She has
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I have an intense
obsession ~ith Melissa Etheridge. Ever
since I got tickets to her upcoming show,
I haven't been able to think about anything
else. I wonder if she'd ever leave Tammy.
Maybe I could convince her that we're soul
mates? Any idea how I can get backstage
to meet her? - Yes I Am in Love with M.E.
Lipstick: Whoa! I just got off the phone with
Melissa and she'll be beefing up security for her
summer tour. Listen up, Brave and Crazy, if she
and Tammy ever call it quits - which I doubt
they will - you can bet she won't be combing her
concert venues for a wild-eyed fanatic to dare. For
no perspective. She's always been the leaver. What
you're going through is normal. I remember when
my first true love broke up with me. What a sight I
must have been, wandering the suburban streets at
your own good, you need to put her CDs away,
take down the posters and, for dyke's sake, hide
my pathetic door-to-door canvassing job, trying to
save the environment when I could barely save myself Dear child, allow yourself this time to mourn. If
- maybe you won't make an ass of yourself at the
concert. And even be;ter, when you're not fixated
on M.E:s adorable pixie cue, you'll be able to zoom
in on the hottie seated two rows in front of you
who is within reach.
you're still pining over her in a year, then get to therapy. Or, better yet, do what scores of other shattered
lesbians have tried - have a rebound affair.Nothing
Wal-Mart? If you really want to get depressed,
educate yourself on how Wal-Marc treats its
female workers.
your vibrator! Seeing her in your fantasies is only
fueling the fire. Do all rhis and then - only then
Dipstick: In a weird way, I can relate, M.E. fan.
When Madonna's Truth or Dare came out, I
watched ir over and over, imagining myself on
tour with the virginal one. I didn't want much
- just to carry her bag to the tour bus or help
her into her cone bra before the show.
I was sure if we only met, we'd have so
much in common. We'd sit around and
make fun of Kevin Cosrner together;
I'd whip up delicious vegetarian meals
and she'd give me shoulder massages.
We'd be two pals on the road.
Fortunately, I never took my fantasy
any further. I didn't write Madonna
love letters or try to sneak backstage to
slip her a red rose, and neither should
you. Besides, I'll bet that Tammy is
quire the street fighter, so I wouldn't
mess with her mojo, if you know what
I mean.
I suggest that you get ro rhe back
of the line with all the other crazed
fans, and keep your little secret ro
yourself. ■
>-
~
:l
0
0
Ask us anything about sex, love or lesbians
at lipstickdipstick.com.
September 2006 [ 23
Advice
Astra Grrl
Erotica for Us
Look Before You Leap
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Sex: Relationships have their ups and downs. Good
If you enjoy truly sexy lesbian
erotica ... then I think you'll really love
this place. They manage to capture
that ID} stical "something" that makes
all of the action seem more des
- you were getting coo complacent and boring.
Career: Co-workers plant a few surprises in your
morning coffee. Oh, goodie. Look before you sip.
Libra (Sept. 24-0ct. 23)
Sex: Your sex life may be quieter than usual.
Maybe chat's because you've been cold chat you
are coo noisy. Career: Just when you thought rhac
your job was boring, someone moves your cheese.
So what? Change your menu!
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Sex: Lesbian Scorps find love in new, exotic places
- the more exotic the better. Bue will it result in
a rash? Career: Your career path is blocked. This
is temporary bur frustrating nonetheless. Grease a
few wheels that rev your engine this September.
Career: Lambda rams find love on rhe job ... er,
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
on their desk, actually. Work late and clock those
hours!
Won't you be surprised! Does she have a friend?
Sex: Create havoc in every sexual encounter. Noc
only will ladies talk about you, they might even
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
wane to see what all the commotion is about.
Career: Even though you have pissed off che
bosses in the past, they are willing to forgive and
Sex: Sapphic bulls are footloose and fancy free.
forget. Will your
Bur don't trip on your hooves because of your
wandering affections. Career: There is someone
trying to deceive you on the job - you know who.
Take a vacation and escape.
Capricorn (Dec. 2~an.
20)
Sex: Lambda Caps may have a few false scares in
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
love chis September. But keep your chin up; false
scaresare better chan no scares at all! Career: There
Sex: Love may follow you everywhere, but keep
will be so much frenzied activity in your career now
chat you may forget to bathe. Don't forger co bache.
the bathroom door closed. Maintain the mystery
with your miss. Career: Expect a few corporate
kabooms through the month. The top will topple,
and ic's about rime!
Independent
feature film-making
with an artistic edge ...
using natural-looking,
women-next-door t.ypc
models.
It's different ... not your
usual girl-girl stuff.
There are some really
great couplin • here.
-www.pornr
Orts.com
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
Sex: Relationships hie a few snags, but the two of
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
you will happily kiss and make up once the dust
settles. Start cleaning! Career: Aqueerians have
all the luck in their careers this September. Don't
Sex: Is love a trip to the moon on gossamer wings
waste it by hanging around the copy room pushing your paperclip.
September is the month to make your best moves.
Move up, move out or quit complaining.
or one of those crazy things? You decide. Career:
If you've been feeling unappreciated on the job,
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Sex: Seek romance in faraway places. Noc only
Sex: Are you able to overlook all her flaws and
are you especially attractive, you also have the en-
fall head over heels in lover Yes. But can she do rhe
ergy to go che distance. Hurry before you are coo
same for you? Brush up your act, sister. Career:
Don't let them rain on your Pride parade around
the office. You've got that je ne sais quoi. Give them
pooped co pop. Career: Forget about your quest
for the perfect job. They call it "work:' If it were
fun, they would call it "fun:·
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Sex: Who is it chat tickles your fancy this month?
quoi for! ■
For more advicefrom the stars, visit our astrologer,
CharleneLichtenstein, online at thestarryeye.com.
"Wh
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twilightwomen.com
Seduction and Hopeless Resistance
September
2006
I 25
ake
One lesbian
discovers the
of our smallest state's
I' 11ad m t t
■•
■•
e
biggest city.
I'm one of chose peo\le who _re~~r
New York City as 'The City. I
grew up in Jersey, and all the years of telling people I was from "right outside
the City" really ingrain themselves in a person. I'll also admit that I agree with
City - to this day, I would probably prefer to live in Brooklyn than anywhere
else - the truth is, New York City doesn't need me. Everyoneloves New York
City. If other people were going to talk trash about New Jersey, I was going to
love it double in order to compensate. Yeal1.I do• NJ.
Edward Norton's character in Keeping the Faith when he says that anyone who
does nor live in New York City must be, to some extent, joking. I guess I've been
joking for some time now. I've lived in Providence, R.I. - affectionately known
to locals as"Little Rhody;' rhe"Biggest Little;' and ocher nicknames that include
the word "little" - for almost 10 years. In those 10 years, I've come to love the
Which brings us to Rhode Island. At 1,045 square miles, Little Rhody
is the smallest state in the Union. The whole state is only slightly larger than
the acreage of farmland in New Jersey. For many, the Biggest Little is nothing
more than a 40-mile stretch on the road from New York to Boston, or the place
where you turn off 95 to head east toward Cape Cod. We have 39 cities and
Ocean State with a fierceness previously reserved for New Jersey.
I'm sure I don't need to tell you that the Garden State is the butt of many
jokes. If you've ever driven down rhe Jersey Turnpike, you understand why
many call New Jersey the armpit of the East Coast. My use of the phrase
towns, one area code, and no major-league sports team. But what we don't have
in size, we more tl1an make up for in personality. Perhaps you've heard of our
former mayor Vincenr"Buddy" Cianci~ He was mayor for 10 years before serv-
■ to
"right outside the City" artfully dodged any need to count myself among
those who live in the armpit. But soon I began to feel I was betraying my
ing a fi.ve-yearsuspended sentence for beating his estranged wife's lover. He was
then re-elected and served as mayor for another 10 years before being convicted
of conspiracy to run a criminal enterprise out of City Hall. He's now four years
home state. New Jersey is home to 810,000 acres of farmland, nor to mention
Albert Einstein, Frank Sinatra and Bruce Springsteen. I grew up in a town
into his federal racketeering sentence in Fort Dix, New Jersey. Despite these
transgressions - or perhaps because of them - Rhode Islanders love Buddy.
where I could walk to school and knew my neighbors, yet I was only 15 minutes from Manhattan. And though I would never have chosento live in Jersey,
the fact is, that's where I am from.
So I began to say it proudly. 'Tm from Jersey:' My voice was feeble at fuse,
By
e
Schwartzapfel
but it slowly gained in strength with practice. And while I do love New York
September 2006
I27
buildings, which have been converted into lofr space, galleries and studios.
We can bike to downtown in less than 10 minutes, and to most ocher neighborhoods within 20 minutes. And while the retail establishments haven't
settled quite as thickly as I hope they will one day, they are much cooler than
comparable places in ocher neighborhoods because everyone is so excited to
be a part of the West Side. Some of the bars have teams in the neighborhood's
summer kickball league. When one of the restaurants needed extensive renovations to meet fire code, ocher bars and restaurants actually held fundraisers
co help the owner gee back on his feet again. The West Side is a microcosm of
Buddy symbolizes the scrappiness chat Rhode Islanders are famous for.
I moved here in 1997 to attend college. What a random place co move co.
Bur it is precisely its randomness, in part, chat makes Rhode Island lovable.
The longer you live here, the more you understand about the place and its
many quirks. You scare co accumulac~ stories chat exemplify Rhode Island,
stories chat could only happen here. You start to feel like you're in on a secret.
Like the time we went co drop my girlfriend's car off at the mechanic. One
the small-town feel chat pervades the rest of the state.
I may have mentioned chat I love cities. My girlfriend, on the ocher hand,
loves the country. If it weren't for me, she'd live on a farm in the middle of
nowhere, delivering calves and riding horses. (Remember how I said I'd rather
live in Brooklyn than anywhere else? Did you wonder why I don't live there~)
Providence is a nice compromise, because although our neighborhood feels
relatively urban, we can be in the middle of nowhere in less than an hour.
Rhode Island isn't called the Ocean Scace for nothing.
We have over 400 miles of coastline, which includes some of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen, and none is more than an hour away by car. On a
summer day, we can drive down co one of Newport's famed beaches, spend the
He looked up at her like she was crazy, and wrote the letters over again. R-U.
"No;• she said again. "I-U:' Finally he put the pen down. "I don't know!" he
roared.''.Am It You see, in Rhode Island, "I-U" and"are you" sound the same.
day swimming and sunning, go co Flo's Clam Shack for a fried shrimp dinner,
for dessert stop by a farm stand chat makes its own ice cream and still be home
by sunset. Much of the state is rural, which means chat outside the state's six
largest cities the population thins out considerably - so there are many places
to go for scenic walks.
My favorite hiking guide is called Walks and Rambles in Rhode Island, and
it's true, we have more in the way of walks and rambles than we do in the way
Boston may be only 50 miles up the road, but it might as well be a world
away. I have a friend who jokes chat she gets a nosebleed when she crosses into
Woonsocket, a city chat abuts Rhode Island's border with Massachusetts; it's
of hikes. (Our highest point is Jerimoch Hill, elevation 812 feet.) But the walks
and rambles are beautiful. The North-South Trail runs the length of the western part of the state, starting at the Connecticut border and continuing through
of the garage's employees was writing her name on the little yellow tag chat
attaches to her keys. My girlfriend began co spell out her lase name as he
wroce."M-O-H-I-U;' she said."M-O-H-R-U;' he wroce."No;· she said."I-u:·
e can riv to Newport's famed beaches, spend the
day swimming, go to Flo's Clam Shack for dinner, for
dessert stop by a farm s an
which makes its own
ice cream and still be home by sunset.
just coo far north. And though my heart has long piecer-pattered for the City,
I'll cake Providence over Boston any day. Boston, as the biggest city in New
England, is home to more museums, bars, music venues and educational institutions than any ocher nearby city. But it's too proud of itself. And when I'm
deciding whether a city meets my expectations, I always pull out my handy
city yardstick: New York. And Boston, I'm afraid, is so not New York. Rhode
Island, on the ocher hand, makes no claims. If you don't like it, don't come.
woods, past scone fences and rocky outcroppings, lakes and streams, and over
old dirt roads all the way to the Massachusetts border (it's only 40 miles, but
My girlfriend and I live on the first floor of a big old Victorian house
on the city's West Side. The West Side is what real estate agents would call
"up-and-coming:• Our discomfort at being a force for gentrification not-
sidered changing it to "Home:') My girlfriend and I are moving next year. She
has applied co medical school, and we're waiting with bated breach to find out
in what direction we're going to be pointing the old U-Haul. She's applied co
withstanding, we love our neighborhood. Ac the Hudson Street Markee, che
several New York schools just for me, and while I'm thrilled about the possibil-
neighborhood corner score, the owners are in a band and they know everyone
by name. They'll write your name on a New York Times for you and put it
aside if you're not going co be there early enough co snag one on Sunday.
ity of finally living in the City, I chink we'll be back here before long.
My love for the Ocean Scace is more pure than my love for either New
York or New Jersey. It's not cool co live here the way it's cool co live in New
The neighborhood is built around a big park, and in the park is a dog run.
There is no better way to get co know your neighbors than co hang out in the
dog run. Well, sore of. We have a growing handful of fun, hipped-out places
to hang out - restaurants, bars and coffee shops - and we have old mill
York. You don't get any points for being from here. Bur unlike my love for
New Jersey, I don't love Rhode Island in defiance of its naysayers, either. I
don't love it because I need to overcompensate for chose who don't. I love it
because it is what it is. Home. ■
28
Icurve
still). In the fall, the leaves are magnificent, and in che winter, these same places
are perfect spots to throw down your cross-country skis.
And so, we radiate Rhode Island pride. We have Providence posters in our
apartment, Rhode Island sweatshirts, hats, and T-shirts. My best friend has a
tattoo of the state seal. (The state motto is "Hope;• buc for a moment, she con-
t>e.ct\Je.,
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Keep Exploring
wn
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CHERIEN
DABIS
L Word scribe and Arab-American filmmaker Cherien Dabis casts her spell on us. By fracy E:.G1lchnst
'Tm a neurotic workaholic," admits Dabis, who holds an
MFA in film from Columbia University.
Dabis' humorous, gay-themed re-imaginings of fairy tales
and her contributions to The L Word might seem incongruous
with her current, subtly political projects, bur she culls her stories from her experiences as a gay woman born to a Jordanian
mom and a Palestinian father - and from growing up in Ohio.
Though she was born in the United States, Dabis spent nine
months our of the year in Ohio and summers in the Middle
East while growing up. "I felt like I had one foot in Ohio and
one foot in Jordan;' she says.
Last fall, for the first time since 1985, Dabis trekked to
her family's homeland to make her short film. While aspects
of her return trip echoed a 20-year-old memory of her harried, 12-hour journey to travel 44 miles from the Jordanian
During the past year, filmmaker Cherien Dabis' career landed
her at an Israeli border crossing, awaiting clearance to enter
the Palestinian city of Ramallah, and then half a world away
in Los Angeles with a writing staff hashing out the liner points
of the next plot twist for Bette, Shane, Alice and the rest of the
hyperglamorous L Word gals. An openly gay, Arab-American
writer and director, Dabis wears her many hats with elan, parlaying her personal experience into her work on the page and
behind the camera.
Over the past several years Dabis has garnered herself a
reputation as something of a gay and lesbian film festival darling with her short film Memoirs of an Evil Stepmother, a queer
take on Snow White, starringJane Lynch - which Dabis wrote
and directed. And she put a kink into another "fairy" tale when
she penned the script for Little Black Boot, a charming crowdpleaser about a baby-dyke Cinderella, which premiered at the
Sundance Film Festival in 2004.
Between commutes from her home in New York City to Los
Angeles as a staff writer for the third and fourth seasons of The
L Word, and an extended trip to the West Bank where she began production on her short film Make a Wish, she keeps busy
raising funds for her sometimes funny, sometimes poignant and
always personal film projects. Ar one point during the year, she
took a temp job in New York to defray the costs of producing
Make a Wish. The short focuses on a young Palestinian girl
whose search for the perfect birthday cake reveals the complexities of living in an occupied territory. The Royal Jordan Film
Commission worked with Dabis to support the production.
And if chat's not ambitious enough, she somehow found
rime to hone the script for her feature film Amreeka - about a
Jordanian single mother who immigrates to the United States
in search of the elusive American dream - during the five-daylong Sundance Screenwriters Lab, and she was accepted into
the Mediterranean Films Crossing Borders Program at the
Cannes Film Festival.
city of Amman to Israel's Jerusalem - a memory rife with a
proliferation of flies and also with rifle-bearing soldiers who
strip-searched her family - Dabis eventually made it to her
destination, camera equipment in tow. Alchough her time at
the border crossing was again lengthy and frustrating, chis time
soldiers skipped the strip search. She says chat the flies were still
there though.
Despite the two-pronged nature of Dabis' career as a
contributor to gay pop culture and an ethnographer of her
Jordanian/Palestinian roots, she discovered during her trip to
the West Bank chat her worlds had converged, a little.
While Dabis says she knew before to returning to the Middle
East chat Jordan had a small but determined, burgeoning gay
community, she gained some notoriety when women who'd seen
the first two seasons of The L Word were shocked to discover
chat a Jordanian had contributed to the story lines. She says she
learned that the show's Jordanian fans had smuggled in the first
season and downloaded the second one.
For a woman who admits that when anybody Googles her,
a host of gay-themed articles pop up, Dabis isn't completely out
back in the Middle East. Bur she says it's a non-issue because "In
the Arab world females don't have sexuality. Ir's so taboo:' She
says she never felt out of place as a lesbian in the West Bank,
since women's sexuality isn't discussed on any level.
Having faced armed soldiers and intense border-crossing
scenarios where guards picked apart her luggage, Dabis admits,
"I was scared to write on The L Word:' She says that writing
for the show is a collaborative effort with several other writers
in which the writing staff work in concert with the show's creator Ilene Chaiken, and Dab is' partner - director and producer
Rose Troche.
Dispelling the myth that couples shouldn't mix business
with pleasure, Dabis says of collaborating with Troche, "We
worked really well together:' She hopes to write a script that
Troche would direct - possibly a lesbian comedy.
But first, pending enough funds raised, Dabis intends to
head back to the West Bank to begin production on Amreeka
in September. ■
September 2006
I33
NANCYRANCOURT
(I
Rocker Nancy Rancourt took on Tommy Lee.
BROOKE
THOMPSON
VH1 's Pumpkin joins our team.
Best known as the feisty
"Pumpkin" from VHI's
H1vor of Love, Brooke
'Thompson has been
rocking the game
show and reality TV
circuits for years now.
On Flavor of J,01•e,
Thompson and 19 other
single ladies competed for
the love of Flavor Flav of Public
Enemy. As it rurncd out, love was simply not
in the stars for Thompson and Flav, but ir's ail
good: Ar Dinah Shore 2006, Thompson came
out as queer.
How has your life changed since you
, Renee WestbrooK
Nancy Rancourt says what's on her mind, and she doesn't care who's listening. She
publicly lambasted CBS's Rock Star: Supernova and called out rocker Tommy Lee for
his comments about women. (Earlier this year, Lee said to MTV News, "Why is it
that the hot chicks never can sing/") The 30-something, Canadian-born singer also
mrned down a major label deal because they suggested that she conceal her sexual
orientation from the public. No matter what comes down the sometimes sleazy pikes
of the music business, Rancourt is determined to make it on her own terms.
How did you get started in music?
I started singing when I was about 3 years old, and by the time I was 11, I was songwriting and doing vocal sessions for hire in studios. When I was 14, I received
an indie label offer, but I declined because I was concerned about becoming the
next Tiffany or Debbie Gibson. From there I took some engineering courses,
started doing more demos, started playing live with different people and
eventually started releasing my own material.
"I'm not going to embrace
an opportunity to further my
career by having to deal
with those schmucks."
came out?
My friends don't care either way,and a few of my
family members are cool with it. My mom,
on the other hand, hates it. But, at the end
of the day, you have to make yourself happy
and live your life the way you choose to.
Do you expect t to have any affects on
your career?
don't thmk so, because before Fl,wor of
Love I was the same person 1 am now....
Hollywood 1s so accepting. I do not think
they care what you do on your own time as
long as you arc good at what you do and
keep the viewers wannng more.
Do you have any plans to break nto
mainstream acting?
I am open ro char as my next move. I love reality television, but rhat's all I know ar rhis
poinr, I would love to branch our inro
movies eventually, but right now 1 am JUSt
trying to extend this 15 minutes of fame I
have been given. Pumpkin might remain as
a memory, bur America has not seen the
last of Brooke.
If you were m Flav's position, who would
you have chosen?
l would have picked Hoopz. She 1s not only
gorgeous, but she has the personality to go
along with it. She also knows how to be
romantic and rake care of her partner. ■
Which artists inspired you most?
This is going to be a really strange combination: Tina Turner
and Billy Joel.
That is an odd combination. Why those two?
They're both very emotive when they sing. There's a lot of substance to what they're
saying and how they say it. I mean, Tina Turner just rocks. She's got the very
soft, sultry thing, and you can see the emotions and the vulnerability. Then she's
got the fuck-you-and-your-little-dog-too
so well. What happened?
They called and invited me to a private audition. I sang"Skin & Bone" and it was
cool to see the reactions of the audience. As I walked off the stage I got mobbed
by news cameras. No one had prepared me for that, but I dealt with it. A few
days later I found out who the band was. Now, if it had been Queen I would have
been jumping for joy, but my first concern was Tommy Lee. At first I thought,
I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and we'll see where this goes. When I saw
the quotes happening, I said I want nothing to do with this. I'm not a sellout.
I'm not going to embrace an opportunity to further my career by having to deal
with chose schmucks.
Did you get called back?
No, but I think they kind of knew my opinion before they were making their final
choices because word gets around very quickly. I'm sure they were well aware
that I wasn't too happy with Mr. Lee's behavior. I also e-mailed Tommy Lee and
told him he was a schmuck, and if wanted to save his career and his dignity he
should rescind his comments to the press. I never heard back from him.
Overall, do you think the show is positive?
With the first season, I thought its intentions had promise; it had potential. If it
did go to a second season I thought we might see that potential. I'm thoroughly
disappointed that there's no potential shining through at all. It's nor about the
music. I was hoping it would be. ■
34
Icurve
thing happening. I relate to that.
You were asked to audition for Rock Star: Supernova, but it didn't turn out
MICHELE
BALAN
C5
This veteran lesbian comic cracked us up on Last Comic Standing. By Laurie K. Scherden
It's the fourth week ofNBC's Last Comic Standing, and Michele
Balan, one of our favorite wise and witty lesbian comics, is
gathering with friends and fellow comics at the Gotham
Comedy Club in New York to watch her televised
performance. "It should be a hoot;' says Balan,
whose Neurotic by Nature was recorded at the
Los Angeles Improv in 1999. "Of course,
I hope I look good or the audience will
watch me cry!"
What was it like for a veteran like
yourself to get thrown into the
comedy gauntlet with comedians of
all levels?
I am sure there are people watching Last
Comic Standing thinking, "Who is this Michele
Balan? We never heard of her, maybe she is new:• I
want
to
tell them, yeah, I am a 20-year overnight success!
How did you get selected for the show?
I had to audition like everyone else. The good news is char I did
not have to wait in line with thousands. IfI did have to, you
probably would not see me on the show. I don't even wait in
line for a sale!
Any noticeable impact yet from the show?
A family ran up to me yesterday in midtown Manhattan - I
thought I was going to be mugged by a middle-American
family. The two young girls screamed, "Are you on Last
Comic Standingt I was shocked they recognized me. TI1ey
were from Cleveland and said I was the first celebrity they
saw in New York and I thought ... how sad.
So how did the show itself go?
There was che afternoon audition with the two judges, Bob Read
and Ross Mark. If you pass through that you go onto the
night show at Caroline's on Broadway where che audience
votes. I was shocked to get my little red slip chat I was going
to Hollywood. I felt like Clay Aiken on American Idol!
Was the show a typical comedy scene - mostly men?
Any lesbians?
Of course this is comedy so there are always a lot more men, but
I was pleased co see how many women they did pick for the
semifinals in L.A. I am very proud of NBC for doing char.
As far as lesbians, I chink there could have been more, but
since I didn't sleep with any of chem, I'm not sure.
What makes you laugh?
I have co be honest chat I still enjoy the older type of comedy,
like the Borscht Belt one-liners of Buddy Hackett, George
Burns, Bob Hope, Freddie RQman, etc. Maybe chat's why
people cell me I remind chem of a female George Burns. ■
September 2006
I35
CARLEASE
BURKE
l6 .
You might recognize this veteran actor - and out lesbian - from TV, movies and Pizza Hut commercials.
.
..
Sprawled over a front-row seat in a small downtown theater
in Santa Monica, Calif., actor Carlease Burke passes a bag of
cookies co the person behind her. She's "on-book;' casually following the script as two fellow actors rehearse a scene. The play,
Dialecticsof the Heart, opens in less than two weeks, yet Burke is
indignation. To appease her parents, she studied pre-law at
New York City College, but hung around with performing arts
students. Performing"is what I did well and I knew at an early
age, bur no one else seemed to know ir;· she says sarcastically.
Her mother did enroll her in dancing classes, "but char was
about as calm and carefree as the tourists strolling down Main
Street on this warm winter day.
more to teach me poise and how to be a lady."She adds with a
laugh, "That hasn't worked:'
TI1en again, after playing opposite Cameron Diaz and Toni
Collette in last year's big-screen hie In Her Shoesand befriending
Tom Hanks in The Terminal the year before, what does Burke
have to be nervous about?
Rehearsal ends and Burke plops down at a table in the
Ironically, her parents inadvertently cracked open the stage
door by taking her to see Melba Moore in the hit Broadway musical Purlie,based on the segregation comedy Purlie Victorious
written by Ossie Davis (he played Bette and Kit Porter's dad on
The L Word)."From that moment I was hooked;' Burke says. "I
bought the album and wore the grooves out, singing'! Got Love'
over and over again:•
courtyard with her backpack and bike helmet. She lives only a
few blocks away, so she rides to rehearsals. With a head of thick
cornrows and a solid, nearly 5-foot-9-inch frame, the AfricanAmerican actor is not hard to notice. She laughingly tells of a
man who recently thought he recognized her. "He said, 'You
look familiar; do you work for the Department of Rehab?'"
Her commanding presence has won her numerous womanin-uniform roles, including police officers and authority figures.
But in real life, Burke is open, easy going and laughs readily.
Her acting success didn't happen overnight, but then, neither did coming to terms with her sexuality. "I used to get really
turned on by female wrestling!" she says in a confessional tone
The dancing lessons paid off when she got a job singing and
dancing on a cruise ship that brought her to rhe West Coast.
Within a few months, she moved to Los Angeles permanently.
Since rhen, Burke has appeared in dozens of films and television shows, including The ToolboxMurders, The Out-of Towners
and Get Shorty on the big screen; DesperateHousewives,ER,
Judging Amy, Malcolm in the Middle, Pizza Hur and Verizon
commercials on television; and, of.course, the occasional theatrical production.
Her sexuality affected her career only once, she says. "A very
"I started sneaking around to gay clubs; I'd get all kinds of books and
publications . ... I loved Playboy. I would fantasize about women - not
anybody in particular, just faceless white women with perfect bodies.
I didn't know anything about airbrushing at the time."
of voice. ''.And we're not talking about women who are hot and
gorgeous. (In the 1970s] it wasn't like glamorous, lipstick lesbian, hot babe wrestling:'
What was a young, church-going, African-American New
Yorker who likes girls and loves to perform to do? "I started
sneaking around to gay clubs; I'd get all kinds of books and
publications .... I loved Playboy.I would fantasize about women
- not anybody in particular, just faceless white women with
perfect bodies;' she says, laughing. "I didn't know anything about
airbrushing at the time:•
Bur she did know - or thought she knew - chat she didn't
"have the guts to become a lesbian:• Instead, she threw her
energy into acting - with the occasional foray into the basement costume department to make our with another girl.
Her sexuality, however, wasn't her biggest worry. Her race,
and her parents' opposition to her acting career, posed the primary challenges. Few African-American faces were seen on film
or television while she was growing up.
"There was Motown . .. and this black guy on The
LawrenceWelk.Show. One black guy!" she says, with humorous
shallow stage manager purposely did not include me in an audition. It seems he had a problem with me being our:• While she's
only been cast once as a lesbian, Burke does stand-up comedy
and emcee work for Olivia Cruises and emcees an annual Dinali
Shore Weekend parry in Palm Springs, Calif.
Burke still feels her big break has yet to come, and her ultimate goal is to win an Academy Award. "My smaller, short-term
goal is to be a series regular on a great episodic show:•
Like The L Word?
"Yes! Like The L Word. They need more lesbians and women
of color;• she insists.
As she collects her things and prepares to leave the courtyard, Burke reflects on what has been the best year yet in her
acting life."I spent a lot of my life trying to figure out where I fit
in, trying to find my place. Now it's, I know who I am, now what
fies met she explains. "I decided that at this point in my life I
don't want to spend a lot of energy doing something that's nor
my No. 1 passion. I don't know how long I'm going to be on this
earth ... and I want to keep the momentum [going). Whatever
it is I'm doing, I don't want to stop:• ■
September 2006 \ 37
GRETCHEN
MOL
Hollywood's hot starlet strikes a pose as Bettie Page.
tsy Laurie I\. ::;cneraen
Seeing
Zoey
1rar Hrtl
Gretchen Mol looks angelic sitting across the table. She's Sunday-school rigid, her blond
hair swept up in a conservative do, and a virginal-white, high-collared blouse shrouds
her delicate figure.
Whether chis chaste image was calculated, I'm not sure. The look is 180 degrees from
the ball-gag-and-black-bondage garb chat Mo! modeled co near perfection as the title
character in the recent film The Notorioi,sBettie Page.But it was Mol's ability to maintain a fresh-faced innocence in the midst of fetish poses that earned her the part of the
famous 1950s pinup queen, says director Mary Harren.
Harren, who co-wrote the script with Guinevere Turner (Go Fish, The L Word),has
a pretty good idea why Bettie Page appeals to lesbians - beyond the obvious appeal of
Mot's looks.
"There's definitely lesbian subtext in all the bondage photos because it's all girl-ongirl," says Harren, who was also behind the lens of films such as I Shot Andy Warholand
American Psycho.
t
1
'
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Bue the lesbian subtext in the photos was purely accidental. Studio owner Irving
Klaw simply"didn't want any men in the photos;• Harren says."He was afraid they would
look like sex photos and get him in trouble;· because of America's puritanical attitudes
about sex in the 1950s. "He thought it was safer just to have girls:•
So the "fighting girlfriend films;' as Harren calls them, fulfilled fetish fantasies with
women restraining and spanking each other, crafting a "kind of naughty, pajama party
feel,"with a "sort of'90s lesbian subtext all through ic:•
"The thing that makes Bettie's images so
powerful is that she was so healthy about
it. She didn't have the shame attached to
the nudity or the bondage ... whatever she
was doing she had that twinkle in her eye."
The photographs ofboch Moland the real Page show sweet-faced young women who
could be just as easily flipping flapjacks as snapping a whip.
"She's not who you think she is;' Mo! says of Page, who grew up in the South and
was devoutly religious, even during her pinup heyday."I felt something in her had sort of
halted by (traumatic) early experiences in her life. When she was in front of the cameras
she was able to ... go to chat ocher place where she could just be purely alive and herself,
you know - sensual and sexual - but it was innocent:'
Eventually the playful pornography became the centerpiece for a Senate investigation, putting an end to che same-sex frolicking before photographer Paula Klaw's camera
lens - and to Page's career. Klaw, who photographed the women and supposedly treated
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Net.
chem like family, is played in che film by the consistently fab Lili Taylor.
"The thing chat makes Bettie's images so powerful is that she was so healthy about
it;' says Mo!, who plays a bisexual woman in the upcoming Puccinifor Beginners,directed
by Maria Maggenti (The IncrediblyTrue Adventure of 2 Girls in Love). "She didn't have
the shame attached to the nudity or the bondage ... whatever she was doing she had that
twinkle in her eye:•
Mo! continues, "I chink she was the most comfortable - especially posing - when
she was out in nature, naked, loving the sun and the way it felt, and I think she felt
confident about herself. I loved looking at (Page's photographs) myself. I was sort of flabbergasted by her ability to be so proud and healthy about her own nudicy:· ■
September 2006
I39
MARIA
MAGGENTI
Maria Maggenti challenges our ideological agenda. By John Esther
Eleven years after writer and director Maria Maggenti showed
up at Sundance with her breakour lesbian film The Incredibly
True Adventure of 2 Girls in Love, she's back with her latest film,
The Sundance program said that with this film you have
Puccinifor Beginners.
ushered "in a new era of lesbian cinema free from an
The film follows Allegra (Elizabeth Reaser), a bright,
young woman living in Manhattan, who has just lost her latest love, Samantha (Julianne Nicholson), and while on the
rebound switches teams to date Philip (Justin
Kirk). Allegra pushes the envelope even
further when she starts daring Philip's
ex-girlfriend, Grace (Gretchen Mol).
Allegra's friends disapprove, but chat
doesn't stop Allegra from landing in
a lot of trouble before film's end.
After Maggenti cemented her
fame in rhe lesbian community
with Incredibly True Adventure, she
went on to write ocher screenplays
including The Love Letter, starring
Ellen DeGeneres. I recently spoke to
Maggenti about her film, Sigmund Freud
and cleavage.
"I am definitely
tt
urn some
things upside down such as: What is a
typical heterosexual relationship? For
gay people marriage is transgressive."
woman who are sexy simply because they have big boobies
and Rae rummies.
ideological agenda." What do you think of that? Can a
film be free of that?
Well, were all a product of our historical moments, so theres no
way you can be free of a particular poinr of view.Do I carry a
cudgel on a lot of issues?Personally I do. In my filmI don't; I try
not to. I was more interesred in gender scuff I don't know if you
would call it ideological,but I am definitely trying to turn some
things upside down such as: What is a typical heterosexual
relationship? For gay people, marriage is transgressive.
There are quite a few films out right now, such as Imagine Me & You and April's Shower, where sexual orien-
tation is blind when it comes to love. Is that the best
way to get over the divisiveness with regard to sexual
orientation and love, by making it perfectly natural and
without comment?
No. I chink rhe best way for lesbians, gay men, rransgenders, and
whoever the hell else, to be safe, is to work toward political
justice. I don't chink it really has to do with movies. Movies
come way later than what we deal with on the ground and in
the communities. They're helpful I guess, bur I don't chink
they are necessarily a route towards liberation.
You do not think a movie can reach a much larger audience than a political movement?
I don't chink you can have one without the other. I only exist
because I'm a product of all char hard work lesbians and gay
men did, starting in the 1950s, to allow me to say what I
want to say. The LBGT (sic) community needs to continue
It took you seven years to make the film. Why was it
important to you to make this film?
I wanted to direct another movie. I had this story in me for a long
time, and I needed to get it out of me so I could move on.
How autobiographical is the story?
Ir's autobiographical in that I was a lesbian who fell for a man.
Things got topsy-turvy after that.
think about him and his work?
I chink Freud is one of the greatest thinkers of all time. I've read
every single thing he's ever written.
What do you say to those who accuse him of being a
homophobic misogynist?
Head-feeling and nor heart-feeling right away.
of Allegra. Why was Elizabeth Reaser the right person?
You just have to leave char stuff behind. He's a product of his
environment. I'm interested in ideas of the unconscious and
how they play themselves out.
The character has to be intellectual but the actor who plays her
There is a bit of German philosophy in the film as well.
has to be intuitive. She has to be adorable without being
cure. She needed co have some comic timing. She needed
be sexy in a way char would be appealing to a man and a
woman. Thar poor character had to have so many things go
to
right, and I felt Elizabeth - who came to me literally a week
before shooting - was the right woman for the job.
Who are your favorites?
I studied 19th-century German philosophy. There is an obscure
little guy named Johann Fichte. I've read all of Immanuel
Kant and Friedrich Nietzsche.
The people who you just mentioned have also been accused of being misogynists. How do you negotiate their
What do mean by "She needed to be sexy in a way that
philosophies with their prejudices?
would be appealing to a man and a woman"?
You rake what's useful. I always felt char to not be well educated
does not assist one in one's liberation. If there is indeed a
"Western canon;' I want to know everything about it so I
can fight against it. ■
She had to have just a little of that current butch energy.
And she had to be sexy without the cleavage.
Yes indeed. The majority of American cinema is filled with
Icurve
You ihvoke Freud quite a bit in the film. What do you
What do you think you have in common with Allegra?
I understand it was difficult to cast someone in the role
40
to work on the ground and in their communities to make the
world a safer place.
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KeyWest, FL 33040
September 2006
I41
ROBERTA
MUNROE
Sundance siren Roberta Munroe dishes out the truth about filmmaking. By Laurie K Scherden
With Dani and Alice (featuring Lisa Branch and Yolonda Ross
in the tide roles, along with veteran actors Guinevere Turner and
Honey Labrador), Munroe tackles a subject rarely seen on film: domestic abuse in lesbian relationships.
"I know so many women who are in relationships - you know,
it's a movie so someone's head (is slammed] into a car door. Bue in
real life, lots of people get shoved into a wall or are stopped from
leaving a room or getting out of a car or called a 'fucking bitch:
Those are all levels of violence that we employ in relationships
when we can't negotiate the love that's there:•
Upbeat, funny, intelligent and down-to-earth, Munroe admits a
fondness for Scorch but a resolve to "scayclose co home" and avoid the
whole Hollywood cocktail parry scene she calls"the game:•She also has
a rapid-fire flair for verbalizing her opinions, so that even the F word
sounds less like an obscenity and more like constructive criticism.
While celling it like it is, her hearcfclc advice - covering each
stage of filmmaking from script and casting co the rough cut and
end result - is meant co save filmmakers from at least some of the
As the short film programmer for che Sundance Film Festival che
past five years, Roberta Munroe has watched thousands of films
- more than 4,500 lase year alone. Ir's no surprise then, chat her
own shore, Dani and Alice, would make the cue at 60-some film
festivals over the past year, even though the story of "two black lesbians trying co negotiate rheir love" is Munroe's first attempt as a
writer and director.
A lot of changes are afoot in Munroe's life. She turned 40 this
In the midst of shooting she had to fire a producer, change the
script, carefully budget her limited amount of film and, at rl1elast-minute, change a hospital location when a source at the hospital got fired.
own consulting company for filmmakers, RMM Consulting.
"I know what goes into a great short and what people are
looking for co show at festivals versus what they're looking for co
show online versus what they're looking for to show on television;'
chat I had one of the best DPs [director of photography] in the
world (Geary McLeod]. It was really an exquisite group of people
who came together:·
Nothing is more frustrating co Munroe than watching a film
and seeing how much effort went into it, "and it sucks," she says.
"Often it's the story, or if it's not the scary then it's che performances,
because you hired your girlfriend who can't ace and never could, but
you can't say no and there she is, ruining your movii'
Icurve
other no-budget short film again, (even] with all those resources;• she
says.'Td rather shoot myself in the fucking head than do chat again:'
year, quit a 25-year smoking habit, and left Sundance to rake on
new challenges in the film industry. She's in the midst of writing a
book, Memoirs of a Sundance Programmer, and recently started her
Munroe says. In her book and in her consulting business, she gives
filmmakers "the cold hard faces chat they're not getting from their
friends and film schools and a paid staff'
42
agony chat comes with putting their heart, sweat and money into
making a movie.
And Munroe can empathize. She assumed that with all her expertise, resources and connections in the film industry, making her
own film would be easier. le wasn't.
Even though she won a PlanetOut drama award and the film is
screening at festivals all over the country, "I can't imagine doing an-
"le was crazy;•she remembers. "The one thing chat saved me was
With all the grief involved in making a short film, it seems just
as easy co make a feature so that's what Munroe will do next. She's
working on the script now for Michael and Alice.
"Jc cakes a lot of work in chis medium. Even chat shitty, shoc-onhome-video with so-and-so's friends, you know, bad lesbian porno
movie, cook a lot of time and effort and people and headache:•
Bue along with che hard truths Munroe so bluntly delivers co
Although Munroe doesn't cellpeople what films not to make, she
does have definite opinions about things co avoid."! do talk about rl1e
filmmakers - for their own good - are the optimism and love she
has for the movies.
"le means so much co me; chat's why I'm so passionate about
top cliche moments like [when] the protagonist walks away from the
light and into her dark, dank apartment, and drinks straight from a
Jack Daniels bottle .... Ir's like, oh brother!" she says.
ic;· she says. "I work so hard with filmmakers ... and chis probably
sounds a little (sappy] but I chink chat everybody can make their
dream come true. Maybe you won't rule the film world, but at least
Munroe also rolls her eyes at the glue of coming-out and
breaking-up stories.
"Experimental footage with your whole story of the break.up
with voice-over ... I see char a hundred fucking times a year coo,"
she says. "Unless you're coming at chis scary that we've seen a thousand times and it's very fresh and very innovative and ingenious, it's
you can feel accomplished:'
probably not going co gee out there:·
Get more of Munroe's advice on filmmaking at robertamunroe.com.
And her parting advice as she continues her drive coward the
West Coast sunset? "What I want co cell filmmakers, particularly
women filmmakers, is co don't just cell the story you want co cell
[or] make the film chat people want to see. Try to do both:' ■
NIKKIWEISSANDCAROLE
ANTOURI
Lesbian power couple Nikki Weiss and Carole Antouri build a better entertainment business.
By Dana Kaye
"Hey,
it
cook
Desperate
Housewives how long co gee on
che air?" Ancouri asks. "Timing is
everything:·
They have not given up on their
Bacon series, but they've put it on
the back burner for now. From their
experience at the venue and their
relationship with its performers,
chey began managing Mimi Marks
as well as Candis Cayne, whose
one-woman show just debuted in
New York. Weiss has also judged
numerous cransgender pageants.
'Tm on a panel with rwo gay men
and two drag queens;• Weiss says,
"and people approach me chinking
chat I'm male-co-female!"
Behind every great female impersonator ... are rwo lesbians?
Nikki Weiss, a well-known celebrity representative, opened
her own agency when she was 22. Ac first she mainly represented
filmmakers and producers, bur when Weiss visited the Bacon, a
Chicago-based female impersonator cabaret, she was fascinated
by the women and their stories. She began going every week and
hanging out with the girls after che show.
"Ir's one of che oldest, most successful venues of its kind;' Weiss
says. "I just had co cell its story:'
Weiss and her life partner, Carole Ancouri, envisioned a series
based on the Bacon and its cransgender performers. With Weiss'
background in cheater and film and Ancouri's experience as a much
sought after makeup artist and photographer, they made a great
team, and produced and directed the series pilot themselves.
Bue alchough they were represented by Endeavor, one of the
best talent agencies in the country, their pilot was not picked up.
"The networks were coo scared;' Weiss recalls. "They were
afraid co target a mainstream audience:•
The cransgender performers portrayed on the series live mainstream lives as women and have been embraced by their parents.
After talking with Weiss and
Antouri, it's clear why chey work so
well cogecher, even though they are
in a relationship - a situation chat often leads co more conflicts
than successful collaboration. "We're, complete opposites;· they
both agree. "Bue chat's a good thing. We just synch:' Weiss' sales
skills combined with Antouri's creative talents make for a solid
business relationship.
"We met in L.A. five years ago;• Weiss says. "And as soon as I
saw her, I hid. I knew she was dangerous:• Weiss thought at first
chat Antouri was straight.
"I shook her hand;' Ancouri recalls, "and it was like holding a
dead fish:'
Bue by the end of chat night, Weiss had learned chat Ancouri
was gay, and her perspective on Ancouri changed. She went home
with Ancouri's number in her pocket, and the rest is history.
"My siblings call for her now;· Antouri says. "They don't even
talk co me,jusc say'Puc Nikki on the phone."'
The two admit char because there were no strong lesbian role
models when they were growing up, it cook longer for chem co
come co terms with their sexuality and come out.
"This was before Ellen came out on her show;'Weiss says."Basic
Instinct was my first exposure, and I thought co myself,'Huh, chis is
"We're complete opposites. But that's a good thing. We just synch."
Mimi Marks, one of the Bacon performers, has a family very supportive of her transition who, according co Weiss and Ancouri, JUSt
lee her be the person she always was:· Weiss and Ancouri feel chat
possible:" She was married at 22, but didn't consider the possibility chat she was gay until che age of 24. For Ancouri, coming out
was an even lengthier process. Even though her older sister came
many of these performers are very relacable co mainstream audiences; they have husbands and mortgages, living quite a "normal" life.
Bue the networks wanted none of it; they wanted broken homes
out when Antouri was in her teens, she didn't realize her sexuality
until her lace 20s.
0
and lots of struggle. Bue chis was before the groundbreaking and
critically acclaimed Transamerica hie the big screen. While Weiss
and Ancouri were producing their own series, they had no idea the
film was even being made.
Now they are comfortable with and proud of their lesbian
identity, and were even a featured couple in the Valentine's issue
of O magazine. And although the Bacon pilot has yet co be picked
up, they continue co embark on new endeavors while waiting for
timing co be on their side. ■
September 2006
I43
I
44
Icurve
By LaurieK. Schenden I Photographyby Brie Childers
After her hot role as Dylanon the third season of Showtime'sThe L Word,Alexandra
Hedison heads back to TV this fall with a new show and a renewedzest for life.She
recentlytalked with us about why she's going back in front of the camera after years
of working behind the scenes, and what kind of woman she'd like to date.
Alexandra Hedison sidles up behind a shapely female figure, wrapping her
photographer, Hedison is now out in front, hosting the new reality design
arms around the sweep of the waist and running her hands over the breasts.
show DesigningBlind on A&E. Alchough she is considerate and accommodat-
le might sound like another seduction scene from her recent stint on TheL
Word,bur on chis hoc summer afternoon, Hedison is playfully promising her
ing during the photo shoot, she admits she's used to being behind the scenes.
undying love co a headless mannequin chat she finds during her CURVE photo
T-shirts and sentimental jewelry, including a beaded bracelet from India and
shoot at a Los Angeles studio.
a lovely old woven belc she picked up in Peru.
"11,is is the closest I've gotten to a girl in a long time;• she jokes, with one
arm around her new squeeze.
After working behind the camera for the last five years as a professional
She apologizes for her wardrobe, which is a simple assemblage of jeans,
The photographer looks skeptically at Hedison's baggy jeans with rippedout knees, so Hedison pulls out two more pairs of pants from che pile of cloches
she brought from home. "I have these Levi's, or I have these older Levi's;'she
September 2006
I45
Filh
com
thrau
WWWBrla
says, eager to help. Though her duds may not be
geared to glamour, once she slips into the faded Tshirt and jeans they transform into something utterly chic. The clothes may make the man, but in
this case the woman makes the clothes.
A lanky 5-foot-10-inch woman with striking,
beautiful features, Hedison may look like a model
but she takes a simple approach to fashion, even
cutting her own hair. When the stylist hired for
the shoot pulls out a handled blade, Hedison
grabs the "new toy" and, moments before her photo shoot, begins snipping her own locks. "This is
like a crack pipe for an addict;' she says gleefully.
Since she took on the role of co-hosting
DesigningBlind, Hedison has been able to combine her sense of humor, her acting skills and her
love of architecture, composition and line - all
the things that inspire her photography. The new
reality show, which at press time was set to premiere on Aug. 6 and run for 13 weeks, teams
Hedison with designer Eric B., a blind man who
creates amazing spaces.
While the show might strike reality TV skeptics as a peculiar gimmick, it's captivating to see
B. at work. A gay man who lost his sight due to
complications from HIV, he takes a room and creates something beautiful and functional, assisted
by an astute intuition and some nifty tools, such as
a talking tape measure and a tool that reads blueprints with the help of bar codes.
"It's not a typical show, and they weren't looking
for a typical hose;• Hedison says, explaining what
drew her to the project. "Really, everything I've been
doing, especially in the last couple of years - it's
just like I'm following my instincts on everything .
. . . And I just really liked him; I immediately felt a
connection to him and I like what he's doing. The
show is ultimately about following your instincts'.'
Hedison's instincts for keeping things simple
inform many aspects of her life. You can see it in
her clothes, her environment and her attitudes
about people. "Don't get me wrong;· she interjects.
"Luxury is a lovely thing. But when your entire life
is about all these things that you've accumulated,
it's really depressing. I've certainly been around
people like that. They are constantly consuming
because they are desperately searching for what's
Hedison doesn't show as much skin
on DesigningBlind as she did on The L
Word but viewers will finallyget to see
her being herself. "It's about as me as
I've ever been on camera," she says.
going to make them feel better'.'
Although Hedison willingly left a successful
acting career several years ago because she wasn't
happy in it, she decided to return to acting last year
when Showtime's The L Word offered her a chance
to audition. She knew several people connected to
the show, but another reason for pursuing the role
was to get a little relief from the publicity over her
split with Ellen DeGeneres.
The set of The L Word was "a healthy environment;' and the cast members, especially Rachel
Shelley (Helena), were an inspiring and supportive
48
Icurve
group. "I wasn't in great shape emotionally when I
started working on that show;• Hedison says. But
not only was she embraced by the right-knit cast, her
populariry in the role of hot documentary filmmaker
Dylan Moreland, who spins Helena's head and rocks
her bed, put Hedison back on an acting track.
Near the end of her ti me on the show, she had
a big decision to make. A producer friend who was
aware of Hedison's eye for design, as well as her
keen comic timing, asked her to audition for the
hostingjob of DesigningBlind. Hedison had been
a regular on the series L.A. Fire.fighters
in 1996,
had a recurring role on Prey with Debra Messing,
and had roles on numerous other TV shows, but it
was photography that inspired her. However, after
hearing her producer friend describe Designing
Blind, Hedison was intrigued and decided to audition. She got the part, and her ad-lib humor
and sexy sidekick persona are a great complement co B.'s designing talents.
"It's James Bond;' Hedison says of the oddly
authoritative voice that comes from B:s tape measure, adding:"It also comes in Beyonce (Knowles]:'
In one segment of DesigningBlind, Hedison talks
about the importance of trust with a female participant who, like all the show's homeowners,
remains blindfolded throughout the selection of
materials and ocher design choices, forcing her co
use her non-visual senses. "I trust you;• the woman
says sweetly - and rather na'ively - as Hedison
waves a sculpture at the woman's head. "As you
should;' Hedison deadpans.
"Someone's gotta make jokes about the face
chat a blind man is doing the interior design, my
God!" Hedison exclaims. "I mean, if he wasn't so
damn good at it, I probably couldn't.'' Hedison
doesn't show as much skin on DesigningBlind as
she did on TheL Word (unless the producers come
up with some sort of hoc cub edition of Designing
Blind),but viewers will gee to see her being herself:
funny, a bit goofy, conscientious, inquisitive, stylish and beautiful. "It's about as me as I've ever been
on camera," she says.
The "real" Hedison
might seem co be a
series of contradictions. Raised in the shadow
of Hollywood, her father, David Hedison, is an
actor from the popular 1960s television series
Voyageto the Bottom of the Sea, and more recently
a soap scar on Another World and The Young and
the Restless.Bue her upbringing wasn't all about
spoclights and glamour.
Her youth in the 1970s was spent in a tiny,
one-bedroom beach house in Malibu. "This was
when Malibu was - this is the only time you'll
hear me say chis word - magical!" Hedison says.
"le wasn't overly developed. We had a pullout
couch where my parents slept at night. My sister
and I had the bedroom. And there was a round
dining room table. Ac night they would have the
"I seem to be attracted to blondes. I'm
not sure what that's about, but when
I look back that does seem to be the
case. Maybe ... after all this internal
examination all of a sudden I won't be
attracted to blondes."
September 2006
I49
most raucous, fun dinner parties:• She remembers
Roger Moore, Joan Collins and Ursula Andress
among the guests. Later they moved to a modest
home in Beverly Hills, where her parents still live.
Her mother instilled in her the notion that "you
don't bring a lot of attention to yourself;' Hedison
says. "And the quality of your life comes down to
your friends and your family. Not that job or how
many famous people you know:•
A chance meeting with Lauren Hutton on
a plane to New York solidified this attitude in
Hedison. Hutton was dressed simply in jeans and
a white T-shirt. "She was so beautiful;' Hedison
recalls. "She was also beautiful because she's traveled all over the world and she's interesting and
she's interested. She's thinking about a whole lot of
things other than just the jeans and white T-shirt
that were on her body that morning:'
While Hedison emphasizes that she does like
nice things, she tries to make an effort to focus on
what's real and what's important in life. That's why
she chose the home she bought more than a year
ago. "At the time I was looking it was only like two
months after my breakup with Ellen and I was living in a hotel, so I didn't have anywhere to live. I was
needing to put myself somewhere. I made the decision to look for a place. It was the right decision:•
What she found was a little house in the hills
cl1atwas built in 1955 by an artist who lived there
until he died about four years ago. "It's almost like
an artist's studio. If nothing else it's authentic;• she
says. "When my parents came to see the house, my
dad looks around and sees the cracks in the walls
and he says, 'Well, these cracks are authentic: He
was horrified that I was buying it."
But the house is a good fit for Hedison. "There's
nothing sleek or modern or flashy about it at all;'
she says. "It's very practical."
And she doesn't plan to share that home anytime soon. In fact, throughout our day together,
every time she mentions a friend with whom she
did this or that - any friend - she clarifies, "Not a 'special friend:"
And, she adds, "It never hurts when someone is really sexy:·
After I bring this to her attention, she says, "See how resistant I am?''
'Tm not kidding;· she insists."! am literally not dating .... I don't think I'm
ready. I feel like I really am kind of working on the relationship with myself'
Later, when we chat over tofu vegetarian burgers she recommends at a
nearby restaurant ('Tm really not that healthy;• she claims), she's comfortable
Hedison, while still cautious, appears to be in a good place. She has her
own space, a TV show, close friends and family who love her, and another
talking about what qualities she will be looking for when she does date. "I
seem to be attracted to blondes. I'm not sure what that's about, but when I
since Dylan turned Helena's life upside down, Helena has been a much more
likable character.
"My character sort of redeemed her;' Hedison says, laughing. "My character made her look nice!"
look back that does seem to be the case;• she says with a laugh. "Maybe all
the work I'm doing will somehow change that ... like, after all this internal
examination all of a sudden I won't be attracted to blondes:•
photography show in the planning stages. She's even open to a return to The L
Word - if she's asked and her time pennies. There were definitely some loose
ends between her character, Dylan, and Shelley's Helena. Hedison notes that
When I ask her if she and DeGeneres will ever be friends, she answers
Though she isn't attracted to a particular physical type, "I really, really love
someone who knows how to communicate:• She also likes people who can get
things done. "Someone who is helpless - that's an unbelievably unattractive
quality for me. Whether it's where to park or making a reservation somewhere,
now, we would make each other laugh, I'm sure. A big part of our relationship
was friendship .... I don't know, we'll see:•
making a decision - a lot of people, especially women sometimes, they just
don't know how to take initiative or just make things happen. I find that I do
that a lot, so it's nice when someone can do that for me:•
Other than the projects already in the works, I wonder aloud if she has a
"plan for life:' She answers readily, with her typically dry sense of humor."Yes!
It's to come up with a really good plan:· ■
soIcurve
thoughtfully,"! hope so. Ifl ran into her right now, I'd be like,'Oh my gosh, hi!'
You know, I'm sure she'd make me laugh .... Truly, if we saw each other right
Losinga Lesbian
Having a gay daughter was easy. Having a son took some getting used to. I By Jo Eager
Ac age 15, my daughter came out as a lesbian. No surprise there. When 19
rolled around, she informed me she was changing her name to some offche-wall name I'd never heard of - Caoinlean Caleb. "Is it a male or female
name?" I asked."Unisex;• she replied. As a female named Jo, I'm not sure why
When we talked a few days later, she told me she'd already been living as
a guy for close to a year - a standard part of the process in order to obtain
I bothered asking. Maybe subconsciously, I saw what was coming.
"I wanted to choose my own name, something chat has meaning to me;• she
cold me. She's part Irish and said she picked Irish names because she wanted
to get in touch with her roots. Caoinlean, she told me, means "of beautiful
shape" and Caleb stands for "faithful:' (I didn't take the name change personally, but I was responsible for the beautiful birth name of Rachael.)
went to San Francisco co have chest surgery; removal of her large D-cup
breasts. And here I am lucky to fill an A cup. Life really is ironic, isn't it?
Less than a year after the name change, I received an e-mail from my
daughter, whom I now refer to as Caleb. We live in different states and sometimes don't see each ocher for several months. It was a short note bur by the
time I finished it, I was reading through a blur of tears.
"Hi Mom,
I need to tell you something and I thought it would be best to
e-mailyou so that you couldprocessit beforewe talk. I know you've
always said that you want your children to be happy. and there is
one thing in particular that I need right now in order to be happy.
male hormones.
A few months after the e-mail, s/he started taking male hormones and
He has a large scar from surgery. Hair is growing on his chest. He has new
nipples. He shaves his face instead of his legs.
In the interest of keeping chings humorous, he gave me a greeting card for
newborns: "Congratulations! It's a boy." It was a sweet card with his recognition chat I had a lot to deal with, coo, in this decision he'd made. "Thanks for
all of your support. I'm really proud of how you've been handling everything;•
he wrote.
It's still a rough transition crying to remember "he'' versus "she;• to see my
former daughter now as a guy with a beard sitting at the breakfast cable without a shirt on. It's difficult crying to explain things co my other child, who was
7 when all of this started. His nickname for Rachael was "sissy:•
Sometimes I'm in the middle of celling a story from years ago when he was
a she and I wonder: Do I refer to my son or my daughter? He was a she back
Sometimes I'm in the middle
of telling a story from years
ago when he was a she and
I wonder: Do I refer to my
son or my daughter?These
things aren't covered in
Parenting101.
You know I've always been a tomboy, but it is more than that. I
was born into the wrong body, and I need to fix that now. I hope
you can understand that. If you have questions about it, you can
ask me. Love you."
Agony is the word chat comes closest to describing how I felt in chat
moment. Tears Rowed for a few seconds before the sound of pain escaped my
throat. The next few days were consumed with heartache and more tears. I
went online and started researching in an attempt to understand. I read that
up to 30 percent of the transgender population deals with this issue by committing suicide. Ac least my kid had the courage and strength co do what she
felt was necessary to be true co herself - which could be keeping her alive.
Or should I say him? It took a few days before I responded to the e-mail from
"my little girl:'
"Dear Rachael,
I'm strugglingright now andfeeling a lot of pain. It's a grieving
process;a loss.I do have many questions and in trying to understand I went online to do some research.I will wait with my questions until we talk. You know I loveyou no matter what. I hopeyou
can understand how painful and difficult this isfor a mother. We
are not our bodies;we are souls.
Love, Mom
then. I'm talking to someone and can't remember if they chink I have a daughter or a son. These things aren't covered in Parenting 101. It can be confusing.
Whom in your life do you share chis information with?
Questions pop in my head and even if my new son chinks they're weird,
he's kind enough to reply.
"Is your sex drive now like chat of an 18-year-old guy versus a 20-year-old
woman?" Yes.
"Did you take a sudden interest in sports after starting hormones?" No.
My younger son asked if Caleb is better at playing catch now.
Of course my transgender child is che same person, with the same soul.
While he seems to have completely transitioned, I'm not quite there. There
are times I tell people I have a daughter.
Although heartbroken when I received the e-mail from my then-daughter, I knew I had only one choice: acceptance. There are times when "hey,
girl" slips out of my mouth. It's a conscious effort still to say "he'' and "him:• I
assume someday it'll become second nature. Yes, I have a son now, but I see
pictures of what was once my baby girl. While I'm still adjusting, my love is
constant. I loved her as my daughter; I love him as my son. I do want him
co be happy, even if it means a sex change. I admit, though, chat I do have
occasional moments when I still wish my son was a lesbian. ■
September 2006
I53
How to Respect
a Transsexual
Person
Face it, we can all use a little respect these days. The basic facts about transsexual and
transgender people aren't taught in classrooms or at lesbian clubs, so here's a handy guide from
the queer, nerdy girl and linguistics buff behind Kisa.ca. I By Sonja Elen Kisa
What is transsexual~ Transsexual people are people who desire to have, or
have achieved, a different physical sex from that which they were assigned
at birth. There are many other flavors of genderqueer and transgender people our there, and sometimes there exists cultural overlap between trans
people and drag performers. Much of the information below - written
in the voice of a trans person - refers to transsexuals, but some can be
applied co cransgender or genderqueer folks as well.
The Basics
Accept me as a full-fledged person of the gender I identify as.
Always use the language that corresponds to my gender identity, even if
my body doesn't seem to match and even when talking about my past.
If you are still adjusting, it's normal to make mistakes. Don't draw attention to it by saying"sorry:' Just correct yourself and carry on.
If I identify as male, never use female-marked words (like waitress,
breasts, vagina) to describe anything about me, and vice versa. Don't call
me "female-bodied;' unless I use that term mysel£
Gender identity has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Whether I am
attracted to men, women, both or neither is a totally separate thing from
whether I am male or female. For example, if I am a trans girl who likes
girls, treat me no differently than any other lesbian.
Don't expect me to conform to the stereotypes of my gender. I'll wear
whatever clothes I like and have whatever interests I have. Being mas-
according to my gender identity.
Don't introduce me as four "transsexual" friend. Don't ask me co explain
my life story or my gender situation to people I just met.
Don't refer to people who are our as trans as "honesc:· Being our may be
honest co whom they are, bur being stealth is just as honest for those who
do not identify with being trans. There is nothing deceptive about not
disclosing one's trans status.
The Nature of Gender
Gender comes from the way our brain, mind and/or soul are configured,
not from che body. Chromosomes, hormones or upbringing do nor determine or change a person's gender.
The only person who can know about one's gender is oneself. No external
"clues" can prove or disprove somebody's true inner gender. Some people
knew ic their entire lives. Some manage to deny it for a long rime. Some
always knew there was something different.
Don't call a nontranssexual woman a "real girl:'
About Labels
Do not confuse transsexuality with cross-dressing. Cross-dressers simply
enjoy wearing clothing typically associated with the opposite sex, sometimes for sexual or fetishized reasons.
culine or feminine (i.e., having mannerisms or interests that are seen by
society as stereotypical of one gender) has nothing to do with being male
or female (i.e., identifying as a certain gender). Butch trans women and
Do not confuse transsexual people with drag queens or kings. Drag performers wear elaborate and often stereotypical clothes to perform a particular gender, often for stage or show or to do impersonations.
The term "cransgender" is an umbrella term that includes any and all
feminine trans guys exist,just like they do among noncranssexual people.
I am a person foremost. If you muse use the word "transsexual" (or "trans"),
gender variant people: transsexual people, cross-dressers, drag kings and
queens, intersex, genderqueer and bigender people, and many other types.
use it as an adjective to describe people, not as a noun unto itself, saying
"trans people;"'trans folks" or "trans guys" as opposed to just "cransgenders:'
Be careful when using ic. For example, many transsexual people don't like
co be associated with cross-dressers.
The shore form "trans" can mean either transsexual or transgender.
The term "cranny" is slang. Many feel that it is offensive, on a par with che
N word. As such, use it with much caution, if at all.
The preferred term for somebody who is not transsexual in most circles
nowadays is "nontrans:' Many people find terms like "bio boy" or "genetic
girl" insulting, because trans people also have biology and genes.
The term "she-male'' is always offensive. Ir is used by the porn industry to
About My Transition
Use the word "transition" to describe what I am going through or what I
went through.
Don't openly talk about my genitals any more chan you would with a nontrans person, unless I bring up che topic myself.
Don't immediately assume that genital sex reassignment surgery is my
priority. Every person is unique and chooses different steps during their
transition. Not everyone wants or can afford sex reassignment surgery.
Social Situations
Please don't tell anyone I am transsexual without my permission - even
if they are, too. Just calk about me like any ocher normal guy or girl,
54 I curve
objectify and fetishize pre-operative transsexual women.
If we're getting intimate, ask me about my boundaries or if I have any
specific terms I prefer to use about parts of my body. For example, many
trans guys call the organ between their legs a dick, regardless of whether
it's been operated on.
If I Just Came Out
If I have just come our about my gender, you should use my new name
and pronouns with me and anyone who knows about me, especially with
people who are still struggling to adjust to my correct gender.
Allow me to tell people about my gender identity and my transition at my
own pace. ■
So Your •.•.•·..\Friend
Is Nowa~~e
KissMe, Kate
Kare Bornstein, author, performance artist, playwright and transsexual trailblazer,
released her fourth book, Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens,
Freaks and Other Outlaws, chis July. Her ocher books include Gender Outlaw and
My Gender Workbook. - Dana Kaye
What inspired you to write Hello, Cruel World?
The book is payback co the dykes and fags and drag queens and S/M players
who welcomed me and kept me safe when I was a 45-year-old baby freak. I'd
(wanted] to write the book for some time, but my tipping point was the death
of Jake Barker, 22-year-old son of Dragon Xcalibur, a matriarch of today's
Seattle dyke community. What a sweet, good guy Jake was; everyone loved
him ... and he killed himself A child - a child of our loving community
- feeling so much pain chat there's no choice but death:' I was living on the
Ease Coast and I felc so helpless. So I starred writing. I figured, I'm an elder
and a published author; I have a voice. I decided to be mama lion and make
sure these children of our community are welcomed and safe.
For the form of the book, I cook radical beat poet Tuli Kupferberg's comedic Zen
socialise text 1001 Ways to Live Without Working and I wrote 101 Alternatives
to Suicide. Listing out the alternatives was easy; bur reliving the rimes I needed
chem to save my own life was more difficult. My editor and publisher were
phenomenal, directing me to continually open the book up co teens and ocher
freaky, outlaw readers who might not be LGBTQ How does the lesbian/ dyke
world speak to the outside world/ le was a challenge to write in a language chat
can describe and unite our diverse lives.
I understand you have an upcoming memoir project?
Ir's a book and a solo show about daddy ... being a daddy to my estranged daughter, being a son to my daddy. Ir's about the "Good Daddy" archetype rhar only
butch dykes and a few men, like Gregory Peck, seem able to pull off. My father
was a good man, but he wasn't "Good Daddy:• Ir's called Kate Bornstein Is a
Queer and Pleasant Danger. I'm doing my best to write from a space of"Good
Daddy;• with love for love.
Maybe it's your friend, your muff buddy or your wife of 15
years (trust me, it happens), but suddenly a woman you
know quite well reveals that she's really a man. Coming
out as an FTM is hard work, but it can be equally difficult for the lesbians left behind. You've got questions,
but you're not quite sure if it's even OK to ask them (it is,
by the way).
You may turn to the Internet - that liberated bastion of
information - for advice. Unfortunately, when it comes to
transgender issues, navigating the Web, which is chockfull of misinformation, can be dicey. Here are a few handy
Web sites that will help you understand what's going on.
FTM International (ftmi.org) is the leading organization for female-to-male transsexuals and offers a wealth
of info through its newsletters, publications, and monthly
meetings and events. The Web site is aimed at folks all
along the transgender-transsexual continuum (post-op,
pre-op, non-op, don't even know what op is) as well a_s
their supporters, and for good basic info to send to your
mom, this site is your best friend.
Some of the biggest questions about transitioning that
FTMs often get (well, their partners get it) are about their
new bodies: Will he have surgery? What kind of surgery?
What will that look like? It's rude and intrusive, but it's the
honest-to-God first thing a lot of folks want to know. If
you want to know the difference between
a chest recon,,.,
struction and a gender mastectomy, or a metoidioplasty
and a phalloplasty, Transster.com and Loren Cameron's
Man Tool (lorencameron.com/mantool) both offer real
photos and real surgery information. Transster is a photo
repository of FTM gender reassignment surgeries that's
password-protected to weed out the fetishists. Man
Tool, from acclaimed photographer Loren Cameron, is
actually an e-book that addresses the pressing and intimate questions that we have about plastic surgery options
for female-to-male transsexuals. More than 40 lovingly
collected photos from Cameron, an FTM himself, offer up
more than just surgical body modifications but also firstperson stories about the subject's experiences, surgery
and sexual sensation. It's graphic and not for kids, but it
helps you quickly adjust to what some FTMs experience.
TheTransitionalMale.com is an education support
site for transmen and their families, as well as butches
and genderqueers. It offers photos and information on
transmen on TV, legislation that affects FTMs and other
trans resources, like a Big Brothers Binder program.
And if the just-out transgender person in your life happens to be a lesbian-identified male-to-female? Well, resources are a little scant, but try GenderTalk.com, the
Web site of Nancy Nangeroni's Gender Talk Radio - a
trans activism tool and info archive for all aspects of gender, from cross-dressing to transfeminists to plain ol'
queers. - Diane Anderson-Minshall
For more i1iformation about Kate Bornstein, go to hellocrnelworld.net.
September 2006
I 55
GoingUnderthe Knife
As more transgenderfolks gain visibility,some people wonder if medical transitionis always the
best option.
By AllisonSteinberg
"Genderidentityis the sense of belongingthat one
feels for a particularsex, not only biologicallybut also
psychologically
and socially.This is independentof one's
biologicalsex which is simplydecided on the basisof
the organsbetweenthe legs."- Andrology.com
Almost 30 years after Stonewall, "T" is becoming a
stronger letter under the LGBT umbrella. Increased
visibility has set the stage for a transgender community that now has its own organizations, health care
facilities, meeting places and even parties, though
the struggle for equal treatment in society at large is
still in its infancy. One uneasy discussion that never
seems to make it to the dinner table yet is whispered
about among even supportive dykes, is about those
who may have misidentified. With the visibility of
transgender identity gaining momentum, are there
some who mistakenly undergo medical transition?
The lack of research available is symptomatic of
the plight of transgender individuals overall; little
research in any field offers a comprehensive study
about the lives of those whose gender is different
from their birth sex, much less those who identify
in different places along the gender spectrum. The
American Psychiatric Association estimates one
in every 30,000 biological males and one in every
100,000 biological females are transgender, but no
comprehensive survey has ever been conducted to
paint an accurate landscape.
"Being born a transsexual is not a choice anymore than being born with blue or brown eyes is a
choice. The only choice in the matter is whether to
transition or not. For many of us, including me, such
a decision is truly a life-or-death choice;' says MTF
Jill Jay, a member of Trans-Academics.org, which
offers a list-serve where transgender people exchange academic discourse. The decision to transition for most people is intrinsically the correct
one, though some find themselves on the other
end of a sometimes irreversible mistake.
But, "It is possible to be influenced with a
therapist encouraging you to transition. There is
also peer pressure, and people do a lot to fit in,"
says Robin Dea, M.D., a psychiatrist and regional
director for mental health services at Northern
California Kaiser Permanente.
Dayna Kravitz, born and raised in Queens,
N.Y., came out as a loud, proud lesbian at age 14.
Just before her high school graduation, she cut her
56 Icurve
hair very short and for the next few years, people
often mistook her for a guy.
"When I went into the woman's bathroom I got,
'Sir you don't belong here,' so I started hiding my
breasts and using the men's bathroom;• Kravitz says.
Ar age 20, Dayna became AJ and asked close
friends to switch to masculine pronouns when
referring to her. Kravitz went to intake at CallenLorde, a health care facility that caters to the LGBT
community, and met with a therapist about starring
hormone treatment to begin transition into a man.
Though she ultimately decided against hormones
(and again prefers female pronouns), Kravitz underwent an emotional transition and began to selfidentify as a transgender man.
Kravitz's mom - a far more understanding
woman than many parents of transfolks - even
signed her child's 21st birthday card, "With love
to AJ:'Though the transition made it easier for
Kravitz to face both the mainstream world and
most of her friends in the trans world, she still
didn't feel safe or comfortable.
From Thinkingto Doing
Most who wish to transition first go to a therapist for
evaluation. The therapist, ideally, will be an objective party who helps the candidate decide whether
transitioning is really for her. Though transitioning is not a simple process, for some people it can
be easier to do than one may think.
In some areas, a person can get a prescription
for hormone treatment after three months of psychotherapy, though there are exceptions in which
a therapist may approve hormones earlier. And
sometimes, people fall victim to unlicensed therapists or those who are out of touch with the needs
of their transgender patients.
Dea reveals that she"had an FTM patient who
clearly felt she was a lesbian who, at one time, got
romantically involved with a transgender person:·
The patient started seeing her partner's therapist
(whom she later found our was not licensed) who
misdiagnosed her. The patient then went on to get
a bilateral mastectomy only to regret it months
later and went back under the knife to receive an
augmentation mammoplasty (breast augmentation) to undo the original surgical work.
"For people who are midway in that gender
continuum, neither male nor female, one has to be
very careful with time spent, therapy and investigations of the body;' Dea says.
Generally, after a year of living full time in the
new gender role, the candidate can be approved
for surgery - or denied. But being denied is not
the end of the story. Not all doctors are as scrupulous as the Callen-Lorde staff. Trans questioning
patients can often find a surgeon who will perform
sex reassignment surgery if the price is right.
''As long as you've got money, you can have
all the surgery you wane;' Josef Kirchner says.
Kirchner, 42, is an extreme case. Since December
1983, Kirchner has shelled out roughly $100,000
for therapy, hormone treatment and surgery to
make Josef into Judy.
"Things were good for some years as I chased
the dream of fitting into society as a woman;' he
says in an online diary he created to document his
journey. However, in lace 1998, Kirchner realized
chat he didn't feel right living as a woman. Dealing
with the ramifications of the indelible body alterations and psychological trauma of his decision,
Kirchner is now back to living as a man.
The path coward sex reassignment surgery is
long and somewhat complicated. First and foremost, it involves rhe strong personal belief rhac it
I'm a Believer
When lesbian producer Beth Burkhart set out to make The Believers, her new documentary about
the world's first all-cransgender gospel choir, with director Todd Holland and executive producer
Nicole Miller, none of chem had made a feature-length film before. Funding, she says, was the hardest part. After its premiere at San Francisco's Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, The Believers is now in
search of a distributor. CURVEcaught up with Burkhart, transgender choir member Prado Gomez
and his lesbian partner of 13 years, Mariili Sparks, co talk about gender, lesbian policies and, oh
yeah, rhe movie. - Ariane Conrad
Did you have a lot of connections to the trans community before you made this film?
is indeed physical alteration chat would make the
person feel right in his or her own body. Bue char is
not as easy co determine as it may sound. Culcural
Sparks:No, I didn't. I chink there is a lot of commonality between lesbians and gays, who are still
marginalized, with the trans community, which is really marginalized.
constructs of gender can cause a serious case of
mistaken personal identity.
Dea offers three criteria chat therapists should
follow when helping patients decide whether sur-
Burkhart:My first real crush on a transgender person was - I met her through the film too, because
we interview her in the film - Shawna Virago. Oh my God, she's so hoc.
Sparks:She is. I want to be Shawna.
gery is the right way to go. Make sure the person
is transsexual and chis is not just another gender
issue; make sure the person is motivated and prepared for the transition; and make sure the per-
Gomez:Yes. The founder of the choir, Ashley, is male-to-female, ~d she's lesbian. The musical
son is psychologically stable, so chat she or he can
withstand the stages of transitioning.
Changing standards char have made surgery
easier co obtain, misdiagnoses of doctors, and social
Burkhart:I guess, across the board it was shocking how uninformed people were about gender identity issues. People consistently asked us to step back and define things and explain basic things
about transitioning and identities. And che director, Todd, he was clear chat he didn't wane co
make it so much of a, he calls it a"Trans 101" film, because there are enough films now our there
doing chat .... Instead, we really wanted rhis to be a filmabout the humanity of these people in
the choir. How they're complex and ordinary people just like anyone else,just like straight people
and just like lesbians.
pressures from gay and transgender peers can make
judgment difficult. Any of rhe three can create utter
disillusionment. The combination of all three can
resulc in an irreversible mistake.
According co a survey by T rans-Academics.org
founder Eli R. Green, "Bartling rhe Trans-Enough
Blues;• 62.8 percent of 238 people surveyed answered "yes" to feeling "not 'trans-enough:" When
asked what they thought might contribute co such
feeling, 81.2 percent cited "Comparing yourself to
ocher people in the trans community"; 62.1 percent cited "Noc being on hormones"; 55.4 percent
cited "Noc having had top surgery:• In addition,
20.8 percent responded char they felt pressure
from the trans community to undergo surgery.
Of chose who were not happy with their current gender identity, 12.5 percent have re-evaluated
their hormonal or surgery choices. These results are
indicative char some people, especially transgender
youth, may feel pressure to act on transitioning,
whether it is right for tl1em or nor.
One of the anonymous survey respondents
admitted feeling frustrated by "the impossibility of
Going Under continued on page 72
Who was your first transwoman crush?
Are there any people in the choir who identify as lesbian?
director is lesbian, too, although she's not trans. Some choir members really don't like chose labels,
though, and you can find just about any sexual preference and everyone goes every which way.
How have lesbians responded to the film?
Mariah, you and Prado talk about your relationship in the film.
Sparks:Well, we had a six-year relationship as a lesbian couple.
Does the world perceive you as straight now?
Sparks:Oh, yeili, it really pisses me off. Yes, he reads as male, and yes, I read as female; how convenient for everyone to just assume we're heterosexual. I identify as queer. I feel like rhac invisibility
piece is something chat's really frustrating for me. Ic always has been, as a femme. And now it's
even more so. I haven't lost queer identity; people have lose it on me. Bue I assert myself as I always
have had co as a femme .... I can't shock people by saying"my girlfriend" because chat doesn't work.
What's been hard and, frankly, the most hurtful is when people in the queer community take away
my queer identity. Sure, yes, we now have straight privilege and I recognize chat. There are sacrifices chat you make to be whole and happy, and being identified as queer is one rhac we made.
What do you hear from other queers about their concerns?
Gomez:
Of the ocher fears I've heard from butches is chat ... everyone's going to transition and butches
are kind of like an endangered species. And I feel like chat's a totally legitimate concern. There have
been ocher times in queer history when butches have been pushed back into the closet. Butches
have been under the radar - butches and femmes together - because ... being extremely feminine
is not feminise; being extremely masculine is not feminise.... If people tl1ink I became a man co
escape homophobia as a butch, I can cellchem, the homophobia I experience now chat some people
chink chat I'm a fag is so scary.... The homophobia I experienced as a butch compared with what I
experience as a perceived fag is like night and day. It's all dangerous, it's all scary.... It's not fucking
fun. And so in the end, I escape from nothing. ■
September 2006
I57
It Takesa Femme
Two lesbian filmmakers tackle a different kind of gender identity in their new film
FtF: Female to Femme. I By Heather Boerner
When Elizabeth Stark came our as femme around
1989, she was going against everything her feminist mother had taught her. She had wanted Stark
to play football, grow our her leg hair and nor wear
makeup - in not so many words, be butch.
"For me, it was a form of rebellion;' recalls
Stark, now 35. "I remember being drawn to very
traditional presentations of femininity:' Today, she
wears a faux-wrap top in earth tones chat compliment her shoulder-length dark hair. Bue for Stark
and for many ocher femmes, they come to their
skirts and heels and makeup (or boots and closeficcingjeans and tattoos - or some combination of
the two) after careful chought about their gender
presentation. Femme isn't just a great way to catch
a girl's eye ac the bar. Ir's a gender, and, for Stark,
becoming femme is just as rhoughcful and complicated a process as coming our butch or trans.
Stark's own experience, as well as chose of
some famous femmes like actor Guinevere Turner,
author Jewelle Gomez and musician Birch, are the
centerpiece of FtF: Female to Femme, a documentary chat had its world debut at the Frameline
LGBT Film Festival in San Francisco in June. Co-directed by Kami Chisholm,
FtF asks femmes to discuss their gender presentation using the language of
transition. Ir's one of the first of its kind, the filmmakers say.
-
The results, they say, are fascinating.
"Our documentary is a documentary in the same way a femme is a girl
yeah, chat's where it starts, bur it does a lot more with it, and goes to more
interesting places;· Stark says, grinning. 'J\nd like femmes, I chink the documentary has to reach its viewers how to watch it, how to understand ic:·
Bue it's nor all identity policies; Chisholm jokes char it's "cits and theory;'
since the documentary is full of burlesque as a form of femme expression and
sexuality. And while it's not about femmes in relation co butches, Chisholm,
who identifies as burch, says her butch friends are as excited to see strong,
interesting femmes as femmes are to see themselves in the film.
"What I hear from butches is a lot of excitement about the film because
they love femmes. What I hear is, 'Femmes, yes, I want to see anything having to do with femmes. Femmes are gorgeous. I love femmes!"' she explains,
chuckling and hunching forward slighrly."For me, chis documentary is interesting. On the surface, it seems like I'm making a film char isn't about me. Bur
... what chis film is doing is talking about gender issues chat are so central to
my being walking through the world. I'm not femme, but the issues of who
assumes who is what gender and how, all feel very relevant to me as a butch:'
Indeed, the documentary is meant co open a new dialogue in rhe discussion of gender in the lesbian community. Boch Stark and Chisholm felt the
documentary was long overdue as the valorizarion of female masculinity has
rendered female femininity all bur invisible. Boch women hope the film will
femme, both in its personal and political forms. Stark is a novelist and
author of Shy Girl, which came our in 1999 and was a Lambda Literary
Award finalise. Stark teaches writing and has performed from New York to
San Francisco. In face, she got the idea for the documentary three years ago,
when she convened a panel of'phenomenal femmes" for a one-night-only performance and discussion of femmeness. Currenrly finishing her second book,
Stark has starred on a third. Her next book, she says, will play with the line
between aurobiography and fiction, and was prompted in part by her experience making FtF.
Chisholm, a filmmaker who is receiving her doctorate in history of consciousness from UC Santa Cruz, teaches about gender, sexuality, and queer
"I'm not femme, but the issuesof who
assumeswho is what gender and how,
all feel very relevantto me as a butch."
and feminise studies at San Francisco Scare University. In 2004, they made
the short documentary Conversations with Elizabeth's Father, about Stark's
father's failing health. After FtE Chisholm is setting her sights on making
a short fictional film about butch and trans identity. She's drawn to char, she
says, because so many documentaries have plumbed the depths of burch or
scare a discussion and inspire more documentaries about what it means to
trans experiences, but few films have cackled the subject together.
'Tm interested in what isn't getting explored and what isn't getting documented;' she says.
As for FtF, Chisholm says she hopes people will chink it's funny and sexy
present oneself as femme.
Stark and Chisholm are great women to cackle chis issue. They love
and makes chem chink.
Stark adds, "Kind of like a femme:' ■
58 / curve
10
GenderDocumentaries
. Must-See
.
Transamerica got filmgoers talking about the New
Trans Cinema of recent years. Bur beyond mustsee features (Boys Don't Cry, Soldier's Girl) are
some trans docs that are worthy of note.
Enough Man: Luke Woodward's fearless and
compelling trans porn documentary explores body
image, relationships and sex from the perspective
of nine transmen and their partners. (lukewood
whether transitioning from female to male is con-
ward.net)
gruent with feminist principles. (boyiam.com)
Audrey's
Beard:
Almost
anything
from
Native, trans filmmaker Alec Buder is worthy of
note, bur Audrey's Beard succinccly captures the
transition from butch dyke to transman in two
minutes. (E-mail madlobster@rogers.com
more information.)
TransGeneration: This eight-part series about
four transitioning college kids is now on DVD.
(sundancechannel.com/ transgeneration)
Sir: Just a Normal Guy: Melanie La Rosa fol-
The Aggressives: Although che people in this
lows Jay Snider over the course of 15 months during his transition from female to male. Interviews
for
documentary are not technically trans, chis illu-
Detached: Gentry McShane's four-minute film
features a young genderqueer named Adrian who
discusses his/her experience with the intersections between sex work and gender identity.
minating film about New York lesbians living as
"aggressives"says much about gender in America.
(image-entertainment.com)
100% Woman: This adrenaline-fueled doc folBoy I Am: Sam Feder and Julie Hollar's compelling new doc features FTMs in various stages
of transition as well as lesbians who question
Transparent: Jules Rosskarn's riveting film features female-to-male transsexuals who struggle
with the challenge of raising their children while
transitioning. (transparentthemovie.com)
lows MTF bike champ Michelle Dumaresq as she
becomes the first transgender athlete on a national
team. (l00percentwoman.com)
with Snider's ex-husband and lesbian partner are
remarkably moving. (octopus.filmvideo.com)
A Boy Named Sue: This fascinating doc chronicles the transformation of Theo from a woman to a
man over the course of six years, including the effect
of his transition on his lesbian lover and their friends.
Easily one of the best ,films on the FTM experience.
(wmm.com)- Diane Anderson-Minshall
,Most FrequentlyAskedTransQuestions
Do any insurance companies cover se
understood anything about bodies, differences between them or social hierarchy based on them. I was
barelyable to talk and [was] declaringchat I was a boy,"
says Lynn Breedlove,fon11erlead singer of the dyke
same sex as I am;•says David."Ic'sdefinitelyabout who
punk band Tribe 8 and author of the novel Godspeed.
Breedlove- who identifies as a feminist and dyke as
y partner is transitioning from femal to
Changing gender on legaldocuments is a process that,
depending on where one was born and now lives,can
insurance companies that offer SRS plans will offer
well as a man - chose not to medicallytransition, but
did attempt to gee rid of female curves by 'cloing a lot
of drugs. As I grew older, I didn'.tlike my curves and
neither did mass media. Was I just trying to make my
insides match my outsides/ And if so, where did that
inside image come from/ A licclenaruce and a liccle
nurruce." Far from rejecting femaleness, Breedlove
actually "hesitated to go by 'he; because of what so
a marriage license, while others request a birch certificate or other documents. Legally changed gender
markers on these documents, therefore, are necessary
when you're outside of Massachusetts and need to
them to every employer. Similarly, an employer may
decide against an SRS-inclusive plan if one is avail-
many hes have done to so many shes'.'
David is a women's collegegraduate, feminist and
be an opposite-sex couple to gee married. Bue LGBT
advocates caution that it's not just the license itself
able. And even plans that cover SRS may require
patients to use in-house or recently trained doctors
rather than surgeons already widely known and
former dyke who is now a gay man. He describes his
female role models as strong and his upbringing as
supportive of his gender expressions. As a dyke, he
that makes a legal marriage, but rather, the license's
ability to withstand later challenge. 'Thousands of
trans people across the country are in marriages;·says
respected in the community.
says,"I met, dated and fell in love with several interesting, smart and dynamic women;· but never learned
how co be one, "because I wasn't one'.'Transitioning,
he says,"was never about rejecting womanhood - it
Unless you have a non trans reason to pursue surgeries
such as a mastectomy or hysterectomy, you'll need an
insurance policy that specifically covers sex reassignment procedures. Until recently, it was basically
unheard of for private insurers to cover SRS. Then
in 2001, the city of San Francisco passed its groundbreaking transgender health benefits package for its
employees, and within a few years all of its insurance
carriers were on board. That means more insurance
companies now offer employers plans that include
SRS coverage for eligible employees. Bue not all
Are FTMs buying into our culture's hatrec
of the female body? If a lesbian transition
to male and then dates only guys, it's hare
'"foe feeling of being a boy happened before I
was about learning about mysel£' As for dating men
now, "I think I'm just basically oriented to be homosexual ... I have a preference for people who are the
I do want in my bed, not about some theoretical aceof
repudiation'.'
range from needing a doctor's note to securing a court
order. Some states only require a driver's license for
Chris Daley,director of the T ransgender Law Center.
"In a couple of states, the validity of those marriages
has been legally challenged, and we've gotten mixed
rulings'.' In Kansas, for instance, the Scace Supreme
Court ruled against recognizingmarriages where both
partners were born as the same sex. Other states like
Trans Questions continued on page 72
September 2006
I59
Q+A
LipstickConspiracy
By Jenny Sherwin
You enter the club ready for an extraordinary
musical experience. Bue no one prepared you
for Lipstick Conspiracy, America's only all-trans
band. Giant women - Shawna, Sarafina, Marilyn
and Tori - stand before you, dressed in eight tops
and short skirts, a big flaming ball of lipstick and
hair and rock and attitude. These are the girls your
mother warned you about.
What makes Lipstick Conspiracy different
from any band on the planet?
We have been able ro incorporate 5ounds from
every decade, 1960s on, creating our own
unique sound chat is both modern and hip.
Have you played with other trans bands?
There are no ocher working, touring, recording
all-cransgender bands in the States. We have
... played with ocher transgender and genderqueer artists, and we all feed off of each ocher.
"I get e-mails from people all of the time who have
problems with me because of who I am - a white
transsexual man making hip-hop;' Rocco Kayiatos
(akaKacastrophe) says, with his trademark mix of
explains. 'Tm a giant paradox - a queer person
making hip-hop, a ladies' man in a seven-year
relationship. 1here is such little stability in life, I
can't be concerned with what's status quo:•
staccato urgency and charm. "A lot of people have
problems with all three of those things ... especially
if a white transsexual is making hip-hop'.'
The 26-year-old musician, equally famous as
writer Michelle Tea's partner, has had a lot of exposure lately.Crowned Outstanding Producer by the
Tattooed and curly-haired, Kayiatos is all
smiles, and his heart resides pretty permanently
on his sleeve. His love life figures heavily into his
music, as do his pecsonal philosophies on identity, sex and pop culture. 'Tm really influenced by
what's going on in my life, my emotional landscape,
Outtnusic Awards in 2005, he's a key figure in the
burgeoning queer hip-hop community. Fearured in
ocher people's feelings about me."
On being an out trans hip-hopper, he is
enthusiastic, but also slightly weary.'Tue one place
I do feel like I fie in is the queer hip-hop community. However, I feel like a lot of times people end
Pick Up theMic: The (r)Evolutionof QueerHip-Hop,
Is there a message behind the music of Lip-
he's also the focus of a forthcoming doc from film-
stick Conspiracy, or is it all just plain fun?
makers Angela Cheng and Sharon B:tmes, State of
Katastrophe.He collaborates regularly with under-
The message is exactly that: just plain fun ... and
embracing the journey of self-discovery.
one of the shows?
ground queer-positive music scene staples as diverse
as hip-hop artists Scream Club and Juba Kalamka
of Deep Dickollective, and the tongue-in-cheek
up working out their own issues about identity,gender, race and class out on me. I'm sure my identity
is provocativeto some people, and being in the public eye allows chem to dissect me like an academic
Ac the end of a recent show, our drummer fell off
the back of her stool and ended the song with
her legs in the air. It was as if she was in slow
dance remix group Lesbians on Ecstasy.
Recently,hes been touring co promote his second
album, Fault,Lies,and Faultlines,
releasedon the new
project. For me, it's always been about justifying to
people - gay and straight - why I have a right rn
be anywhere:·
motion. Half of us didn't even know it had
happened. She was able to recover while we
kept the music going. She made it back, right
side up, and finished the last bar of the song
lesbian-owned labelCherchez La Femme. Kayiatos
Kayiatos' music saddles many different worlds.
"Underground queer hip-hop is like any underground scene, in that it's inherently separate from
with us. I believe most of the audience thought
it was planned.
danceableand thought-provoking
Lyrical,intelligent and compassionate, Kayiatos
is part sensitive-boysex symbol (replete wich"Hope''
What's the craziest thing that's happened at
Is your audience mostly queer?
We've had fans as young as 2 rock out, along with
quite a few octogenarians. The majority of the
positive feedback we receive, however, comes
from queer women of every age. ■
For more information,visit lipstickconspiracy.com.
60 Icurve
composes his own music, and his tracksare a collage
of hum-along pop hooks, emotional excavationand
layered,intricatebeats.His latestCD is simultaneously
tattoo and a gaggleoflesbian fans wherever he goes),
part loner with a cause and part troubadour. Ac a
recent show, he dealt with an onset of insecurity by
asking the audience co give him, and each ocher, a
group hug. "I like co use my time as a performer
co deal with my issues in ridiculous ways;' he
the mainstream, bur queer people have been
involved in hip-hop for as long as it's been around:'
And anyway, when it comes down to it,
Kayiacos makes music you and your girlfriend
can dance to, regardless of how you, or she,
identify - and chat's fine by him. "My album is
about human struggle;· he says. "I just want it to
be something everyone can relate co:• ■
For more info, visit katastropherap.com.
MakingWaves
Six trans activistsevery dyke should know about.
By Ariane Resnick
"'ians prople behind tre scenes 1ncludE'(clockwise frorP top le~) Shanror Minter, Shawna Virago. Judith t-lalberstc. ,, 0. bra DaVJ• Mal Kailey ar,d C, Ir
nia Addams.
Shannon
Minter:Noted for his role representing transgender Michael Kantaras in a televised
custody case and as recipient of Ford Foundation's
2005 Leadership for a Changing World award,
Mincer is also an adviser, mentor and lawyer who
fights for anti-discrimination laws. Legaldirector
of the National Center for Lesbian Rights and
founder of its Youth Project, Minter co-authored
the book TransgenderEquality:A Handbookfor
Activistsand Policymakers.
He transitioned on the
job and helped NCLR convince thousands of
dykes chat trans issues are our issues.
GalpemiaAddams:Anyone who has seen
Soldier'sGirl knows of Addams. An elite combat-trained "Devil Doc" during the first Gulf war,
Addams came home from the war and became a
showgirl. After her military boyfriend was murdered, she became a trans rights activist.Today, she
runs Deep Stealth Productions and, with partner
Andrea James, is one of the few consultants helping Hollywood bring compassionate depictions
of trans lives to audiences, working on films like
Transamerica.
Honored at the the GLAAD Media
Awards, Addams is also an actor whose upcoming
short film CastingPearlswill comicallyportray the
auditions a trans actor endures.
ShawnaVirago:
This T rannyfest director and
2002 San Francisco Pride Parade grand marshal
became the first trans woman on the board of
directors of San Francisco Women Against Rape
and is a fow1ding member of TransAction; she's
also an indie film star, director and musician. Her
band has performed at numerous Pride events and
she made her directorial debut with the film Almost
Human. Not enough? She's also co-d1air of the
Transgender PoliticalCaucus and has served on the
Transgender Human Rights Task Force.
MattKailey:
When he transitioned from a
straight woman into a gay man, Kailey became a
voice for gay female-to-male persons by authoring Just Add Hormones:An Insider'sGuide to the
TranssexualExperience.Rather than dealing with
only the logistics of changing genders, Kailey offers
a personal look into the emotional situations chat
arise when transitioning. From lack of assistance
offered for a flat tire to nervous mothers, Kailey
pushes for FTMs to be as vocal and political as
their opposite-sex counterparts.
Judith"Jack"
Halberstam:
An English professor
and director of the Center for Feminist Research,
Halberstam authored four books including Female
Masculinityand Tne Drag King Book. Heavily
involved in drag king culture, Halberstam strives
to teach students chat "anatomy is not destiny'.'She
currently teaches courses in queer studies, gender
theory, film, art and literature, and is at work on a
film called LongLive theKings.
Debra Davis:Winner of the 2005 Pride
Award and executive director of the Gender
Education Center, Davis became a pioneer by
coming out publicly at the public high school
where she worked for more than 30 years. Davis
first spent 28 years as a male librarian before
spending her final three years of employment as
a transgender female. Now retired, Davis travels
co give presentations on gender. ■
Reviews Sapphic Screen
Lesbians Go Mainstreatn
Queer films come of age at the Tribeca Film Festival.
I
y Fllen Rosner Feig
EDITOR'S
Red Doors (Blanc de
Chine Films)
WhenthefilmversionofAmy
Tan'sTheJoi'LuckClub
premiered
in 1993,it set
a standard
for filmsabout
Asian-American
families.
Therearealwaysdaughters,
Americanized
butyearning
to befilial;mothers
whoare
superstitious
andcarrya
deepconnection
to theold
country;andfatherswho
arealwaysreticent,hiding
anunmistakable
pridefor
theirAmerican
children.
Now
intheaters,
Georgia
Lee's
firstfeature-length
film,Red
Doors,contains
all of these
stereotypical
qualities,
but
thosesimilarities
areonly
superficial.
Yes,thereare
Chinese-American
daughters One thing was crystal clear at chis year's Tribeca Film Festival: at what it means to love someone, warts and all, and at times
in thisfamilydrama,butone
The portrayal of lesbians on Ii.Im has become mainstream. A
he actually succeeds.
of themplantsbombsin the
majority of the fi.Imsscreened at the fifth anniversary celebration
lockerof theboyshehasa
have LGBT characters, including the provocative Kiss Me Again
of/ow My Voice: With the Music of Hedwig
crushon,whileanotherfalls
and
the
inspiring
documentary
Follow
My
Voice.
in lovewitha femalemovie
The wonderful, heartbreaking and hopeful documentary
star.Thefather,playedwith
incredible
agilitybyveteran
Follow My Voice follows a group of four young lesbian and
actorTzi Ma,is notyour
In William Tyler Smith's sexually charged Kiss Me Again, hoc gay students as they journey through the halls of New York's
typicalChinese-American
young Brooklyn photographer Malika {Elisa Donovan of ' Harvey Milk High, the li.rscpublic high school for LGBT studad.Hetriesto commit
Cluelessfame) is seeing Tara, a vulnerable rock 'ri roll singer. dents in che country. Director and producer Katherine Linton
suicidemultipletimes,and
Malika
shares an apartment with her best friend, Chalice {played follows record producer Chris Slusarenko, songwriter Stephen
whenhedoesnotsucceed
- repeatedly
interrupted
by
wonderfully by Katheryn Winnick), who is married to Julian
Trask and actor John Cameron Mitchell as they record a benhisyoungest
daughter,
who
efit album, with several well-known recording artists, for the
{Jeremy London). But when Julian brings another woman,
doesn
'I evenbataneyelash
Hetrick-Martin Institute {the home of Harvey Milk High),
Elena {Mirelly Taylor), into their marriage co spice things up, it
- heabandons
hisfamilyfor
soon
becomes
clear
that
Chalice
has
been
hiding
her
own
sexualusing the songs of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Follow My
a Buddhist
monastery.
Red
ity
for
years,
repressing
both
memories
of
her
earlier
relationship
Voiceweaves together the lives of several high school students
Doorsdoesindeedcontain
a coming-out
story,butit is
with Malika and her newfound love for Elena.
including Mey, a 17-year-old Chinese-American lesbian and
morethanthat.It is a new
At times the Ii.Imis uncomfortable to watch; the sexuality is
runway model; Tenaja, a 17-year-old African American who is
kindofAsian-American
film,
so openly displayed it is almost raw and even in the greater conexcommunicated from her Jehovah's Witness family when she
onethatdoesn'tdealwith
tells them she is lesbian; and Angel, a transgender woman who
text of love, betrayal and exploration, there is a sense of stagimmigrant
identityissuesbut
ing
or
awkwardness
between
the
actors.
As
Elena
and
Chalice
lives in the heart of Spanish Harlem.
focusesinstead
onhowthese
damaged
individuals
cometo
begin to explore their desire for one another {and their need
Follow My Voice allows us to enter the world of these
termswitheachother to exclude Julian from the mix), their interactions are hesitant
brave young people who proudly stand by their convicandtheirimperfect,
and shy in one scene, aggressive in another. Their realization
tions. As I watched a unique orchestral band, the Polyphonic
butloving,family.
Spree, record the song "Wig in a Box" over one weekend, my
that
they
are
falling
in
love
and
betraying
a
man
they
both
(reddoorsthemovie.
com)
love causes chem to pull away from each other. Malika and her
heart was Ii.lied with a sense of spirit and hope in human-Malinda Lo
girlfriend Tara provide what is probably the most honest relaity. Follow My Voice is truly Ii.Im at its best - entertain-
tionship in the Ii.Im.They li.ghc,they have sex, they argue, they
make up. Smith's intent in Kiss Me Again is to cakes a hard look
62
Icurve
ing while it educates, educating while it changes che world.
(jollowmyvoice.com)
■
DVD PICKS
tranaers W,
(Comedy
Central):Thisawesome
DVDboxset
comesin a fauxTrapper
Keeper
with
director'scutepisodes,
messages
from
cutups(WillFerrill),
a PSA("ATrip
Back"),a blooperreelandscribbled
dirtydoodles.
Oh,andsixawesome
discswithAmySedaris
asJerriBlank,
the46-yearoldformeruser,boozer
andloserwhocan'tgetenough
of the
ladies.(paramount.com/
homeentertainmenO
- DAM
(Paramount):
Fromthewriterof The
Simpsons
andcreatorof TheCritic
comesthishilariously
irreverent
movie
abouta flamingfoul(played
byJim
J. Bullock!),
hisqueerclan(including
Openly
GatorandBi-Polar
Bear)anda
scaryconservative
ministerwhoturned
AnneHecheandhalfof Hollywood
straight.Plus,there'sa RuPaul
theme
song,several
shorts(Queer
asFowl,
FiddlerontheRoofie)
andthefeaturetteHowto Finda PartnerIf You're
Bi,Um,Coastal.
(paramount.comlhom(New
evideo)
- DianeAnderson-Minshall
Line):Thiswickedly
wittycomedy
was
a smashatTribeca
andnowonder.
(Visual
Thoughat its heartit's thestoryof
Entertainment):
Gorgeous
Nicki
whodecides
to
Micheaux
playsTeresa,
whobecomes trashybiographer
finds
a paraplegic
in anaccidentherbrother breakupwithhislifebutinstead
thegirlof hisdreams(Kissing
Jessica
Solomon
(RogerGuenveur
Smith)
Stein'sJennifer
Westfeldt),
he'sgota
is responsible
for.Devastated
by
hilariously
acerbicbisexual
bestfriend
herdisability,
Teresabreaksupwith
(Without
a Trace's
pulchritudinous
herhotbuttroubledpoetgirlfriend
andshehasan
Rachel(NianAster).WhileTeresa
goes PoppyMontgomery),
L.A.-primedlesbiangirlfriend
(played
ona spiritualjourneyassisted
bya
A mustquirkygroupof fellowchurchwomen, overthetopbyToriSpelling).
see.(newline.com)
- DAM
Solomon
andRachelhookuponlyto
immediately
spiraldownward
together
at Machspeed.Beforeshecansave
thetwopeopleshelovesmost,Teresa
hasto cometo termswithherown
religious
arrogance.
Setin a convincinglyhipandtoughurbanenvironment,
themovieis a weirdbutcharming
mix
of clichesandoriginality.
It managed
to annoy,dazzleandtrulyamuseme
simultaneously.
Lookforwardto a
drugged
Teresa's
hilarious
visionof
theVirginMaryaswellaspowerful
voice-over
poetry.
(codeblackenterntainment.com)
as
(Fox):
- UrsulaSteck
VictoriaBarkley
(theseriously
kick
asslesbianactorBarbara
Stanwyck)
ro,ect Runway: The
is a widowcirca1878whorunsa
hugeranchin Calfornia's
SanJoaquin
(Weinstein
Co.):Areyouin or are
Valleywiththehelpof herfourkids
youout?Lesbian
designer
Zulema
a pre-Dynasty
LindaEvans
as
- whomadeit to thefinalthreein this including
Audra,anda pre-Bionic
Man
fashion-industry-meets-reality-showunmarried
LeeMajorsastheillegitimate
sonwho
catfight- is out.Andweloveherall
alwaysmakesStanwyck
launchintoa
themorefor it. Castauditiontapes,
"because
you'rea Barkley"
strongarm
extended
scenesandWear
AreThey
thatcouldmakeanydykemelt.
Nowfeaturette,
andif youbuytheset
(fox.com)
- DAM
yougeta freetee.(projectrunway.
com/pr2shirt)
- DAM
Nan Kinney
I
FOUNDER,FATALE
MEDIAI
When Nan Kinney first searched for lesbian alternatives co the stereotypical girl-girl
images of mainstream pornography 21 years ago, there were none. Determined co
offer authentic images chat lesbians could relate to, Kinney and Deborah Sundal1l
founded Fatale Media, Inc., to create porn made by lesbian~, for lesbians. Since chen,
Fatale Media's popularity has expanded into the straight community, mostly chrough
Bend Over Boyfriend,an instructional video chat teaches straight women how to
scrap it on for their men. We recencly talked with Kinney about her experiences and
how lesbian porn has come of age. - Janel M. Lynch
Wh,
The Internet has made huge changes, in chat ... you don't have co go through
the mainstream distributors to get your images out there. You can reach your
target audience much more directly, so it really has expanded; (there are)
more small lesbian companies involved in it now.
Do
Hungry Hearts. I loved doing that video; we had some really funny moments
with chat one. We rented chis beautiful room up in Timber Cove.... We sec
it all up with the lights blaring ... and we're shooting a scene in this sunken
Japanese cub right next to these big windows chat looked out over the coast,
and I swear to God, there was ... the Von Trapp family hiking outside the
window. le was just unbelievable. They literally had lederhosen on and big
walking sticks and licclehats and everything. We had to have one production
person just standing at the window to keep an eye out for the Von Trapp
family, and we had co stop whenever they'd come again.
He
to the genera
pu
Bend Over Boyfriendfit into Fatale Media's general mission in chat we've always cried co portray and present images of sexuality chat aren't out there, that
ocher companies aren't doing for whatever reason .... We knew chat straight
couples were into chis and nobody was really approaching it, especially in an
educational manner, and we thought, well, if anybody's going co teach straight
women how to strap it on, it's going to be lesbians. ■
September 2006
I63
Reviews
In the Stacks
Barnyards and Carnivals
Lesbian farmers and sideshow entertainers, oh my.
I
y Rachel Pepper
This month, two new books invite us co explore ways we can
challenge ourselves. Catherine Friend's funny new memoir, Hit
by a Farm, chronicles two urban lesbians' attempts to build a
sheep farm from the ground up, while Ariel Gore's Traveling
knew me;• Friend writes. "1hey thought I was just a pathetic
bookworm. I was much more than chat. I was strong. I was
Death and Resurrection Show illuminates the complexity of
may not be meant to be a full-time farmer, she has embraced
spirituality and family.
her rural life, even if, as she herself says, she was hie by a farm.
(hitbyafarm.com)
Hit by a Farm: How I Learned to
Stop Worrying and Love the Barn,
Catherine Friend (Marlowe and
•1t,,-1_,'-'...._•.._,..__
tough. I was a problem solver. I was a lesbian, damn it. I'd show
chem:•By the book's end, Friend has found that even though she
Hanl,Girt.G.F ....
ti.k1-o,....___.._~........__,t1roo
.....
_
._.__INtt~
................
..... ...,...,..._
~•..di..-•
-GARRISON
........
....................
...............
.._..,.......,....,.._
~ ..
_
..-.
_.._
-k ----~
U,llOI
The Trave/mg Death and
Resurrection Show, Anel Gore
EDITOR'S
Ariel Gore has written a first novel
What happens when you take a city dyke
PoetryonRecord:
98
that will surprise many of her most
and plunk her down, along with many
PoetsReadTheirWork,
ardent fans. Known in the literary
high hopes and her partner of 12 years,
1888-2006, ed.Rebekah
underworld mostly for her autobioon a Minnesota farmr The answer can
Presson
Mosby
be
found
in
Catherine
Friend's
enjoyable,
graphical
writings and for publishing
(Shout!Factory)
Hip Mama magazine, Gore stretches
Threecheersforthis
enlightening and even laugh-out-loud
four-disc
audiocollection hilarious Hit by a Farm. Friend is known
her wings a bit here and produces a
of poetryfromthedawn
first-rate literary novel about a travprimarily as a children's book author,
of soundrecording
to the
eling sideshow. The novel's main
but she's clearly found her niche in hucurrentday.Lovers
of queer
character, Frances Catherine, known
morous
nonfiction,
for
this
account
of
andqueer-inflected
poetry
willfindplentyto enjoyhere. going back to the land with her partner,
as Frankka, is able co perform the
You'llhearthefieryvoiceof
stigmata (bleeding from her hands)
Melissa, and their growing menagerie of
WaltWhitman
reading
from goats, dogs, ducks, sheep, llamas and the
a remarkable "trick" that lands her
"America"
in a recording
in the forefront of a ragtag group
like
was
a
great
read.
Ever
want
to
know
believed
to havebeenmade
known as the Traveling
how
to
grab
a
ram's
testicles?
Shear
and
byThomas
Edison
around
Death and Resurrection
1889;H.D.reading
from
birth sheep? Plane a field of grapevines upside down? Raise
herfeministepicHelenin
Show.
chickens humanely for slaughter without getting attached?
Egyptin sonorous,
honeyed
Or even how co balance your partner's dreams of farming
The other performtones;Langston
Hughes'
ers in this troupe include
with
the
growing
realization
that
working
24/7
in
the
mud
meticulous
performance
a trapeze artist, a psychic
of hisHarlem
Renaissance and the cold may not be for you? It's all here, as Friend and '
poem"TheWearyBlues"; her partner transform barren farmland into a real, working
single mom with baby
andtheincomparable sheep farm with a large adjoining vineyard thrown in for
in cow, and a levitating
~~
Elizabeth
Bishop's
startlingly
Mother Superior drag
good measure.
nonchalant
delivery
of "The
queen known as Madre
Is
it
beautiful?
Yes.
Is
it
satisfying
co
have
your
own
business
Fish."Otherdiscsinclude
Pia. A family of misfits
and
watch
the
land
slowly
turn
into
a
real
farm?
Of
course.
Yet
recordings
byBlackArts
giantGwendolyn
Brooks, Friend's story is hardly pastoral, as she takes great care to point
thrown together by coinfeministiconAdrienne
Rich, out repeatedly that our perceptions of the "country" don't always
cidence and circumstance,
"poemto myuterus"author
mix with the reality of being an actual farmer. Animals die or
the group performs a
LucilleCliftonandNative
show loosely based on reAmerican
visionary
JoyHarjo. are killed, and crops sometimes wither or fall prey to pests and
weeds.
Tractors
break,
fences
fall,
and
machinery
causes
damligious themes, the climax
Poetrypuristsmayhavea
problem
withthiscandy- age - sometimes to people. Not surprisingly, Friend and her
of which is Frankka's bleeding hands.
colored,
flashilyillustrated partner find that not everyone supports their decision to risk
Eventually this ability, which began in her childl10od
boxset,butif thecollection
everything they owned on a farm: "When I'd come out to my
as she sought attention from her ardently Catholic grandinspires
listeners
to seekout
mother, generates the kind of media attention that monmoreworkbyAudreLorde, parents years ago, they'd been upset and concerned, but had
of whomyougetonlya brief eventually got used co che idea, and were very cool. But now, ey can't buy - along with an ever more strident group
of religious protesters. Ultimately, Frankka must flee the
tastehere,it hassucceeded. my news was almost more earth shattering. Being a lesbian was
(shouttactory.com)one thing, but being a farmer? Man, oh man, that was going to
group to find hersel£ When she reemerges, Gore leads us
-Julia Bloch
cake some getting used co."The reactions range from shocked
co an expansive definition of fan1ily and spirituality, and
DBA'l'R
B.ESUBBECTION
silence co outright laughter and jokes. Bue the two women
dig in, if only to prove they can do it. "They thought they
64
Icurve
how we can continue to find hope in our collective future.
(harpercollins.com)■
PAGE TURNERS
Pin-lln r.mt • FP.mm1sm
Sexualltv.
Pol
(DukeUniversity
Press):
Buszek
takesusonanacademic
journeythrough150yearsof saucy,
sociallyawareimagesandtheir
repercussions
onthemainstream.
For
thoseof uswhothoughtthatreclaimingsexuality
in thenameof feminism
wasa fairlynewconcept,
thisis a
greatintroduction
to therevolutionary
beauties
of thepast.(dukeupress.edu)
- Catherine
Plato
c;,rctes
Kate
Braverman
(Trafford):
Thisdeeply
I AUTHOR I
personal
andengaging
memoirdocumentsonewoman'sjourneythrough
theMiddleEastin a questboth
Author Kare Braverman has the polished but messy look chat only a
spiritualandpolitical.
Herstruggles
true artist can pull off. Since her literary debut in 1979 with Lithium
to comeoutasa lesbianaremirrored
for Medea, a controversial tale chat Joan Didion described as 'Jumpy,
backto herbywitnessing
otherwomen
kinetic, and finally very powerful;' Braverman has written five books,
sheencounters
stuggling
withtheir
ownoppression.
(samadhiwhitehouse.including the recent Frantic Transmissions to and From Los Angeles:
writerswebpages.com)
- Diane
A~1Accidental Memoir. With a sharp wit and impassioned convicAnderson-Minshall
tions, Braverman speaks with authority. - Allison Steinberg
WhE
(Silverfish
Review):
The
For 34 years of my publishing life, I have fought for the right
resilientandrichlydetailed
poemsin
Hibbard's
firstbooksingwithlesbian
of women ro inhabit the page. My baccle has been co write
desireandintelligence.
In'Precious
as a man would. I have always felt patriarchal oppression. I
Eyebrows,"
eachcoupletburstswith
have co fight chis in every story, every essay, every novel. This
life:"Thewaya woman'shairgathis my contribution co what we used co call sisterhood. The
ers/rain,asyoukissbeneath
pines
page is its own kingdom and what you can gee away with. We
in graylight/Youwerealwaysin so
muchpain.IImistookit forsomeautopsy, we reveal, we confess.
thingquiteholy.·Thereis a mature
WI
confidence
herethatneverlosessight
Sylvia Plath was the first female voice in literature I ever
of humbling
emotional
detail,asin the
heard. Mose people only remember her for her suicide, but
gardenmeditation
in theprosepoem
who can quote a stanza of her poetry?
"Perennial."
"I wantmintambush,
flung
outsubterranean
runnersthatthrob
thelawnwithpromise
andsweetness.
I went for a job interview at San Diego Scace College. I was
MaybeI'mafraidthatdeathwon'thave
asked what I thought abour the women's movement, and I
itswaywithme."(silverfishreview
said, "I don't want my women waving brooms; I want chem
press.com)
- JuliaBloch
waving M16s:• I didn't gee the job.
TheDoctorWorePett1co11ts
WI
Wnm11nPh11
(GlobePequot
Press):FromSusanLaFlesche,
the
firstfemaleNativeAmerican
doctor,
to
LucyHobbs
Taylor,
thefirstwomanto
receive
a doctorate
of dentalscience,
TheDoctorWorePetticoats
showcases
12frontierfemalephysicians
whowere
pioneers
notonlyof theWestbutalso
Ho
of themedicalprofession.
Illustrating
boththefreedoms
andthedifficulties Ste
thesewomenfacedin theWildWest,
thisis a must-read
for anyfeministor
trontierswoman.
(globepequot.
com)
- LaurenMarieFleming
I am, in sensibility and lifestyle, much closer co gay people
than I am co straight people. When I got co San Francisco
four years ago, the first place I went was co the gay community. I read in the gay bars in San Francisco. Ir doesn't pay
anything, but it's so much fun - the kinetics, che rawness of
the audience, it reminds me of (Los Angeles] in the '?Os. Gay
men really gee me; lesbians really gee it.
d since you first
When I started writing, I used K.P. Braverman because it
was extremely difficult for a woman writing about women
who don't behave co gee published. I embraced risk. There is
a constant struggle between the story you want co cell and the
accommodation between you and the page. ■
September 2006
I65
Reviews
Music Watch
More Than Girls With Guitars
These girls sure pluck our strings. I y Margaret Coble
Yeah, I know - isn't this just about the
theme of every column? Ir's true char there's
a never-ending supply of guitar-based
female folkies and rockers consranrly shuffling across my desk, bur Doria Roberts,
EDITOR'S
Divine MAGgees and KT Tunstall stand
hands above the crowd this month, moving
B InchBetsy well beyond rhe girls-with-guitars cliche.
(Self-Released)
So if you haven't already, rake notice.
Thinkof thisEPof 'BOsinfluenced,
Social0-era
post-punk
(asortof Hole Woman Dangerous, Doria Roberts
i;i
meetsLeTigremeets
MySpace-era
dykeybrash- Three years in rhe making, this new 12ness)asyourintroduction
track set from the brilliant and beautiful,
to anincredible,
all-girl,
our lesbian Doria Roberts was definitely
Chicago-based
bandwhose
specialbrandof fiercerock worth rhe wait. Every single song on Woman
andcatchyhooksmaketheir Dangerous is a winner; there's no filler
fansslavish
withdevotion. here. Lyrically, rhe Arlanta-based singerSincethetrioformedin
songwriter mines her own emotional
2004,thechicksof 8 Inch
Betsy- vocalist
andguitar- landscape, tackling topics of love, relationist Meghan
Galbraith,
bass ships and self-esteem. It's nothing terribly
playerLizBurkeandsuper new, bur Roberts does it well and in a very
foxydrummer
Stephanie accessible yet poetic way. Musically, howLevi- haveopened
for
ever, this set gels in a way char very few
theGossip,
touredwithAmy
Rayandheadlined
Estrojam. contemporary folk-pop albums do. Her
Evenbetter:They'reabout acoustic guitar-based compositions are now
to release
a brand-spanking fleshed our via layered and looped vocals, sweeping strings, texnew,full-length
CD,andwe
tured percussion, tight drumming, sly bass and the occasional
can'twaitto rockoutto it.
electric guitar. There's even a ukulele and flute on the final
(Binchbetsy.com)
- Diane
track, "Horizon:' Ir's an exquisitely well-produced - bur nor
Anderson-Minshall
over-produced - album, which hopefully will get her some
well-deserved wider exposure. The sweet pop of"Honey Jar" is
my fave, while the rocking "Simple Life" and poppier "Perfect"
f:yt,
are probably the most radio friendly. (doriaroherts.com)
Also in rhe air-folk rock category bur with more commercial
Love Me Like the Roses, D1vme MAGgees
appeal, this Scottish singer-songwriter started making waves
in the United Kingdom in 2004. Now she's become a bona
1
s all Vi gm)
it your business to do so. Named for rhe cars they each owned,
separately, before meeting each other, Cregan Montague (fid-
follow-up "The Ocher Side of rhe World:' A skilled mulriinstrumentalist, Tunstall nor only plays guitar on the album's
dles) and Danielle Tibedo (guitars) make sweet, dreamy airfolk rock char draws on everything from bluegrass to punk to
jazz, intertwining acoustic and electric guitars and fiddles with
their perfecrly matched, harmonious vocals. The 11 songs on
the album vary widely from the country twang of"Bridges" and
12 tracks, but also bass, piano, organs and various percussion, and she also wrote or co-wrote every song. Lyrically,
T unseal! delves deep into often dark emotional terrain, yet
musically, she manages to maintain a fairly upbeat vibe due
to her strong melodies, even on sparse cuts like "Silent Sea"
and "Heal Over:· Ir's her vocals, though, that really draw lis-
hard-to-categorize, haunting reinterpretation of Cole Porter's
"Begin the Beguine:• Bur despite the variation, the album has
a mesmerizing cohesion that's apt to make you hit "repeat"
curve
co
Asheville, N.C., who are partners in both music and life, make
the Southern-drenched swing of'Riverlady;' to darker, swirling
rock numbers such as "Trouble" and "Hole in rhe Wall;' to their
I
hf- Tc
fide worldwide star with the release of her debut album in the
United States, as well as rhe success of her peppy, bluesy rock
single "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" and the mellower
If you haven't heard or seen rhis duo, currencly based in
66
over and over again. One part Cowboy Junkies, one part Po
Girl, with just a smidgeon of Indigo Girls (due largely to their
vocal harmonies and the fact char they are lesbians), Divine
MAGgees deliver one of the best albums I've heard all year.
'(divinemaggees.corn)
teners in. She's unique and memorable like Edie Brickell or
Rickie Lee Jones, bur with more guts and raw emotion, like
PJ Harvey. Give it a spin (kttunstall.com) ■
I dare you to not like this album.
a safe
OTHER LICKS
for
meet
women
to
Drama,
Bananar (TheLab):Two
of theoriginalmembers
of the1980s
U.K.girlgroupknownfor delicious
popclassicslike"Venus"
and"Really
SayingSomething"
returnwitha new
andremarkably
fresh13-trackrelease
featuring
theEurosmashhit"Movein
MyDirection."
(bananarama.co.uk)
owle
(ValleyEntertainment):
Moving
smoothly
fromAmericana,
honky-tonk
country,andbluesyjazzto pop,
A&B,andstraight-up
folk,thisSouth
Carolina
singer-songwriter's
latest
offeringis a masterpiece
of styleand
contentdestinedto bea classic.
(daniellehowle.com)
IJAZZ PIANIST I
Jazz pianist Tammy Hall has been playing piano since she was old
enough to (barely) reach the keys. She has been touted as a "best
kept secret" in music, but her recently released CD, Blue Divi11e,and
DVD, Reflections,may have let the proverbial cat out of the bag.
- Andy Wright
You say you see the color blu when you play. Is music a
visual a1
(Sink&
Stove/U.K.):
Moresoulfulandsedated
thanSleater-Kinney,
thisfour-girl1ndie
rockgrouphasgenerated
quitea buzz
onbothsidesof thepond;"87"is my
pick,butreally,all 1Otracksdeserve
a
Wh
listen.(the-vibration.com)
s, PatriciaBa (Blue
Note):Reinterpreting
classicGreek
mythology
in a rock-infused
jazz
context,
outdykepianogeniusBarber
offershermostambitious
compositionto date,thanksto a Guggenheim
fellowship.
Heady,
butneverboring.
(patriciabarber.com)
my Hall
Yes. I would almost give my left hand to be able to draw. I
love art and painting. The color blue is my favorite color, and
it makes me feel good, and it's a color chat signifies divinity,
spirituality, calmness, groundedness.
I think my music expresses the gratitude I have for being able
to play, the gratitude I have for rhe audience who listens and
appreciates. I'm very grateful for this gift, and it is a gift.
Yot
le was fabulous. I was with my partner at the time, who had
been hired as a guidance counselor at the International School
at Brussels. I was at home and after about eight months, she
said, "Why don't you come over? There's a scene happening,
there are no women, and you have a niche to Iii] here:• I went
over and in three months I had put together a quintet. She
played the saxophone. I hired some local guys and we played.
And we were successful.
An
d special effects for the DVD.
Did working with ar. animator nake you see you work m a
different way?
aseEr
(KillRock
Stars):A tighteryetstillquirkytrio
afterthedeparture
of guitaristSara
Jaffe,theseBayareanoise-pop
queersshinea criticallightonthe
government,
consumerism
andpoliticalapathyonthisthirdalbumeffort.
(eraseerrata.com)
- MC
It did. I just put the music out there, and I can't tell you that
you're supposed to feel a certain way. I know how I'm feeling
and if that translates, that's great. But there (are] no rules. As
long as I'm able to put something positive out rhere, that's a1I
I want. I want people to feel good when they hear my music.
Or feel healed, or relieved or eased somehow. That's my only
objective: to comfort. ■
September 2006
I67
Reviews Tech Girl
,-
Kitchen Gadgets Galore
Get cookin' with these nifty new tools.
I
y Diane Andcrson-\1inshall
The words "high tech" may conjure up images of LCD TVs and robotic insrruments, but as the Jetsons once
predicted, technology now affects the kitchen, too. Bored with Sub Zeros and talking refrigerators, we look
to the lower end of the tech boom to find out just how modern kitchens have become.
Got those lesbian friends who rail about the downsides
of the big two soda makers/ Love soda, hate canned
drinks/ Soda Club's Gourmet Home Soda Maker is
the answer. With fizz (from the Alco 2Jet Carbonator)
and flavor (SodaMix tempts us with 25 flavors), you can turn ordinary tap water into
fresh, tasty soda in seconds. This environmentally friendly alternative to store-bought
sodas also lets you make drinks with less sugar, less sodium and fewer carbs. ($119 and up,
sodaclub.com)
,J
In a day and age where stainless steel is the hottest kitchen color, the Big Chill retro
refrigerator - in colors like beach blue and pink grapefruit - is for chicks who don't want to
camouflage their appliances (is that cabinet or a fridge/) but want more of a '57 Chevy-type
style. But, it's still modern inside and requires none of that old-school defrosting. ($2,700,
bigchillfridge.com)
Clockwise from top left:
Tassimo's hot beverage
machine, Soda Club's
home soda maker, the
Big Chillfridge,
Kyocera's ceramic
peeler, Emilythe Strange
heat-sensitive mug
(shown cold) and Miam
Miam's mushroom bowl.
ir
Is your girlfriend all Laura Ashley and Kate Spade in the kitchen/ Time for a mood change.
Buy her a set of these new Emily the Strange heat-sensitive coffee mugs, which feature
Emily holding a skull-and-crossbones mug on the front. When hot liquids are in the mug,
spooky steam appears on the side; when liquids are cold it goes away. Add a box of Emily's
new candy bar assortment (a cigar-style box of strangely dark and gooey treats) for the perfect back-to-school gift for your roommate. ($15 and up, darkhorse.com)
a
So, your friends are still mocking your non-PC double latte habit/ Try the Tassimo, a hot
beverage machine where you insert your choice of discs (coffees, mochas, teas), select the
right cup for your drink and press a button. In a minute you'll be having cappuccino, hot
chocolate or whatever your heart desires without the mess, the wait or the public embarrassment of spending $8 a day on coffee. No wonder it has an almost cult-like following
among gays now. ($169, tassimo.com)
The future is here and it's in our dishware: The new Miam Miam mushroom series features
fun and funky, rounded serving dishes that are elevated and tilted on their sides. No matter
what's in them, these Orb bowls make your food seem like it's looking back at you from an
alien spaceship. ($6-$80, unitedbrands.us)
n
OK, kitchen peelers are hardly high tech, but the Kyocera Advanced Ceramics Perfect Peeler
- which rotates to vertical, horizontal and 45-degree positions, and has an ergonomic nonslip
handle that lessens hand fatigue - certainly seems as modern as it gets. Unlike traditional
peelers, this Japanese peeler is made of zirconium oxide, a highly advanced ceramic that is
razor-sharp. The Perfect Peeler's blade lasts much longer than average peelers and because
ceramic is chemically inert, it won't alter the taste or smell of food. Plus, the Perfect Peeler
won't rust and is dishwasher safe. ($20, surlacable.com)
VictoriaA. Brownworth Politics
A Nation Under Attack
Forget Osama bin Laden. Queers and immigrants are the new villains.
I
t may be September, but the November elections are just two months away - which
marriage to your husband or wife? How
does granting citizenship to people who
already live here, work here, pay rent
and participate in all the ocher aspects
of American life damage anyone else?
explains why the right wing is exploiting ignorance and fear on the campaign trail. This season, the targets are what Sen. Rick Santorum, RPa., fighting for his political life in a tight Senate
race, called "a bigger threat to America than terrorism": same-sex marriage and immigration.
Yes, it's the Bush administration's newest
war: the war on difference, on otherness. We
are being Swift boated. We can't catch Osama
bin Laden, but we can turn minorities - in chis
case, queers and immigrants - into villains.
The rhetorical run-up began during the
We are all - queers and immigrants
- already living our lives right here in
America, next door to you and you and
you. Why can't we have the same civil
rights everyone else does?
And the answer is: because there is
()
primaries last May and June. Anti-immigration sentiments erupted on May
Day when hundreds of thousands of undocumented workers from among
the estimated 11 to 13 million in the United Scates took to the streets around
the country, declaring their simultaneous love for America and their desire
to be respected, legal citizens. Those demonstrations prompted an antiimmigrant response from the right, with President Bush's "base" of conservatives demanding deportations.
an election looming. Because the war,
which over three years ago was declared
over, still rages. Because the economy has
tanked. Because a June 2006 Gallup poll says 64 percent of Americans disapprove of George W. Bush, but only 51 percent disapprove of same-sex marriage
- which means chat queer civil rights are actually more popular than the president. Because one in six Americans doesn't have health care.
So there must be a deflection from reality, and we are it. Somehow, the
biggest threat to American society is not chat chis administration has favored
the wealthy so much chat the middle class is going bankrupt and the poor
Like the May Day marches, queer Pride celebrations also had a clear focus
are poorer than ever. Somehow, we are rhe threat. Well, us and the Mexican
this year. Last June 5, the Senate held hearings on a constitutional amendment
banning same-sex marriage. Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis., called the proposal
- which had languished on the back burner since it had been used to generate
conservative support during the 2004 presidential campaign - an outrageous,
immigrants stealing all those $3-an-hour jobs with no benefits chat real
Americans are lining up to do.
The anti-queer, anti-immigrant rhetoric of the past few months is, of
course, just chat. Rhetoric. Legislation isn't exacdy around the corner. A
partisan political move to win conservative votes in November.
This election season, two issues that are on few Americans' cop 10 lists of
concerns - same-sex marriage and immigration - have become focal points
of the election in an effort to distract voters from chose issues that really con-
constitutional amendment requires approval by a two-thirds majority of
Congress and three-quarters of the states. There hasn't been a constitutional
amendment ratified in more than 14 years, the most recent being the 27th
Amendment, which was actually first proposed in 1789 and deals with salary
cern them: the war, health care and the economy.
What's more, these are not just "issues" but matters of civil rights. So these
broadsides from Bush and his cohort are homophobic and racist. The people
involved, queers and immigrants, have dissolved into rhetorical stereotypes and
for Congress - not exacdy a hot political or social issue. But chis does not
mean chat queers and immigrants have nothing to fear, just char the process
of deporting 13 million people and savaging the civil liberties of one in 10
as that occurs, the civil rights elements of these issues are bled out, supplanted by
the fear of the Other that is constantly being stoked by tl1eright wing.
The message is clear: Difference is scary and dangerous to America.
Within a week of delivering a Saturday radio address on why English
should be the official language of America, Bush gave another radio address
calling for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage because
marriage is under attack - just as he claimed our borders are under attack
by illegal immigrants from Mexico.
Queers and immigrants are, for the purposes of the upcoming election, the
new terrorists. We threaten a value system in which all marriage is between a
man and a woman and all workers are American, a system in which families can
be only heterosexual and people can speak only English. Such political rhetoric
makes us queers and immigrants seem dangerous to American society - like
millions of lesser bin Ladens out to destroy the American dream.
I'm so tired of these battles over equality, civil rights and justice. I want
to ask these right-wing voters: How can equality ever be damaging to someone else? How does my right to marry my same-sex partner denigrate your
Americans might cake a bit more rime.
In the interim, it is essential that we see this political maneuvering for
what it is: cold-blooded, calculated, craven politics in which we are the pawns
and, ultimately, the victims. People like Santorum, who regularly equates
same-sex marriage with pedophilia and bestiality, are reaching out co a constituency that fears change, chat wants someone to blame for the state of the
union, and queers and immigrants are increasingly the scapegoats.
We have a date with destiny in November, but the stakes are up now. Now
is the time for all of us co remind people of the real issues and redirect their
attention from debating our civil rights to considering their own. We can and
must refocus the argument onto the failures of the Bush administration to
fulfill its obligations to the citizenry.
From now until November, we must work to vote the right wing out. We
are not the new terrorists that Bush and his cohorts have made us. Rather we
are, like 13 million immigrants, part of America's diversity. For coo long they
have set the agenda, and we have lose. We have till November to turn che tide,
and turn it we must. Ir's time for the exclusionary tactics of the right wing co
cease -
or at least cease using us. ■
September 2006 I 69
Dyke Drama
Michele Fisher
What Not to Say to a Woman
Some women will say anything to get some action. Take my advice: Don't.
I love menudo." Tripe is a white, rubbery,
ridged, nasty part of a cow's stomach. Actually,
there is no pare of a cow's stomach (or is it sto111achs,
as
"Yes,
I seem to recall from chat one day of high school biology
when I accidentally paid attention) chat is not nasty. But
tripe is stomach lining. Mexican menudo soup would be
fine if it didn't have pieces of tripe in it.
I was hoping she would fix some menudo without cow
stomach in it, but my hopes were crushed when I saw her
ladling stew with very visible stomach chunks into two
bowls. I got through the experience 6y swallowing one
piece of tripe whole and chasing it with lots of broth ...
and beer.
There was no ocher option: If I wanted rhe woman, I
had to choke down her homemade innard stew. I was running my own personal Fear Factor challenge. Did I mention her claim that menudo turns her into a sex machine?
When she was distracted and quire drunk - which took
a loc longer than I thought it should have - I dumped the
mess at the bottom of my bowl into the crash, and then I
claimed my prize.
I am not going to complain about the drunken sex. I
are a friggin' cow organ; I wasn't about to go home emptyhanded. When a girl came along a while later and claimed
to be an expert in rhe art of soul food, I bit my stupid
tongue just before I was about to rave about how much I
loved chirlins.
'Just stay herefor a while."Did I mean the night? Or the
weekend? I know I didn't mean rhe year, bur chat is what
happened. Yes,it ended ugly,but I didn't care. I just wanted
my apartment back.
"I love to travel."No, I don't. I like being in new places
if they have air conditioning, clean water and chocolate. I
don't like packing, airports or flying.
I found out recenrly chat I like cruises for about a day.
It's too good. Nothing to do on the ship but drink, eat,
sunbathe and gamble. !e's like vacationing in Sodom and
Gomorrah. I can take train travel for about an hour. It's not
quaint; it's slow.And yes, I can feel the train moving and no,
it is not comforting.
If I can gee there without packing or going to an airport, dock or station,
and if I can be assured of four-star accommodations when I arrive, I am there.
I guess rime travel is the kind of travel char suits me best.
"There are all types of love. Sex is not that important."Ha! Just whom was
I kidding?
"I am friends with all my ex-lovers."I guess I spoke too soon, and she didn't
feel like being one of the gang. To char end, she decided to sec herself apart by
alienating my friends and family, issuing ultimatums and squawking obscenities whenever we were in public. Now I am forced to admit chat I am friendly
with most of my exes ... except one.
"J don't date bisexuals."Was I ever this naive and pious? Did I really think I
70
I
curve
could spot a bisexual at 50 paces, walk rhe ocher way, and avoid heartbreak?
Of course, I did dare bisexuals. Some of chem I knew about before we went
co bed, and one didn't cell me until she invited me to her "traditional" wedding.
(Some pillow talks are more enlightening than ochers.) I probably would have
slept with all of them all over again, even rhe bachelorerre party girl.
You can be picky about your prospective partner's looks, morals, finances,
or sexual orientation, but you can't be picky about all chose things unless you're
a wealthy, virgin supermodel. I fall short in a category or two, so I decided to
dispense with my rule about AC/DC chicks in exchange for a robust sex life.
I cringe when I hear homos schooling ocher queers about evil bisexuals.
My advice to those about to take this plunge is to ask the bi girl what being
a:
w
tii
w
a:
t;;
w
z
er
w
I
~
bisexual means co her; I have found chose conversations co be illuminating.
You're likely co hear everything from "I have never slept with a man, but I have
always been curious about it" to the exact opposite. Which creature is more
dangerous? There is no way to cell. Listen carefully, and you might hear chat
women are for flings and men are for commitment. Or she might divulge chat
occasionally, a woman is what she needs co clear her head. I met a looker from
Saudi Arabia one night who cold me char staying married co a man kept her
from losing the family forrune and her life. I thought her reasoning was sound.
There's no need to keep guessing about her back story - just ask. A
woman is a much better source of information about herself than you are.
What if she lies? Well then, being a bisexual isn't really che problem, is it?
"You can pay me back whenever."I am still waiting.
No matter how much or how little of che green scuff you have, it causes
trouble when lent to friends, lovers and those in between. In fact, it causes
lovers to become just friends and friends co go AWOL.
I don't really have a lot co say about borrowing except, pay ic back, and if
you can't, just leave town. Don't act as if you've left, do it right: Slide out in the
middle of the night without telling a soul, and don't leave a forwarding address.
When you gee where you're going, assume a new identity and never look back.
As for you lenders out there, stick to the old adage about never lending
more than you can afford to lose. I think oflending money to friends like pulling the arm of a rime-delayed slot machine. Ir may pay off somewhere down
the road, but, most likely, I will never see a dime.
And don't assume chat celling your (girl)friend how bad you need the
money back will make her more likely co pay on time. le will make her feel
guilcier when she fails to pay you back, but it won't get you the bucks. With
che exception of con artists, people intend co pay you back when chey ask for
a loan. Whether they use che loan to buy a car, food or crack, chey really need
the money. Ir's up co you to decide if you can really afford the gift.
A special note co chose of you who would lend money co lovers, be they
casual or long-term: Geeting a check is great, but it has never made me as
happy as getting laid. Know your priorities and do not hassle a lover for cash
back unless you're tired of her intimate company.
'J\. three-way might spice up our relationship."My spice blend rurned out
to be a dash of jealousy with a dollop of resentment chat left the bad taste of
insecurity in our mouths.
Your relationship has to be either very strong or weak as water to make
a three-way a worthwhile risk. Suggesting a three-way to a lover just means
pitching the idea of you both having an affair with the same woman at the
same time. You don't want to have a new experience with your woman; you
want to experience a new woman without having to sneak around.
It didn't work for me. I was glad I cried it early in my dyke career when I
was more resilient. However, if you're a solo unit, you happen to meet a young
lady, and on your way co a destination together you two chance upon another
lass who is game, then I can promise you an experience you will remember
long after you have gone senile.
"I writefor CURVE:' Some women felc slighted because they didn't get a
mention. Others became furious when they read about themselves. More
than a few choughc char as a writer, I should be much more clever and interesting in my personal life than I turned out to be. With my current (and only
ever) wife, I worry for nothing. She assures ll\e chat no column could ever
make me seem clever or interesting. ■
The sooner breast cancer is detected, the better
the chance of treating it successfully. That's why
monthly breast self-exams, regular medical
checkups and mammograms are so important.
Visit komen.org or call
1.800 l'M AWARE"
to learn more.
The Susan
G. Kornen
Breast Cancer
f'ound,Hion
Thisspaceprovided
asa publicservice.
©2006,TheSusanG.KomenBreastCancerFoundation
September 2006
I 71
Trans Questions continued from page 59
straight, sexual inclinations.
Ir's impossible co know exactly what's inside street
take physical seeps to transition, many dyke circles
express a willingness to adapt to the community's
changing needs. When embracing friends who may
be examining their paths, lee chem know chat whatever they decide, their identity and their friendship
compounds, and sharing needles and vials is a quick
way to spread dangerous diseases. Using hormones
is safest with regular medical checkups co monitor
the physical and emotional effects of transition. If
someone muse take street hormones, the Web sire
will be honored, says J.J., a genderqueer, transidentified individual from New York. If there is a
question about someone's pronouns, ask in private.
Transgender-friendly language goes a long way
cowardbeing inclusive,as does a strict"no gender polic-
marriages outside Massachusetts.
TheBody.com recommends chat they be taken orally
to "avoid the difficulties of having to obtain, use and
ing' policy,meaning everybody'sself-declaredgender is
truthful and correct regardlessof appearances.But use
My partner's sexual orientation is queer.
Will it still be queer now that he's FTM?
dean injection equipment:'
trans-inclusive language with caution; lesbian venues
that welcome"women and ITMs"for instance, can be
Texas, Florida, Illinois and Ohio have similar rulings
which act as legal precedents but are not necessarily
codified as law. Still, as a result of one court's ruling.
some Texas courts have ceased issuing change-ofgender court orders at all, "so it does have some real
effect;' Daley says.There's also a flip side to the negative court rulings: Ironically,they may be interpreted
to mean chat a cransgender person can marry if he or
she is in a same-sex couple, resulting in some lesbian
My partner gets honnones off the street.
How dangerous is that?
Whether one's sexual attractions can change is a Are transgender people covered by the
loaded question, particularly as ex-gay "conversion" Americans with Disabilities Act regarding
movements argue against LGBT equality by contendemployment, housing and public accoming chat sexual orientation is a 'choice'.'Many people
modation protections?
attest to branching out sexuallya.fi:erdiscovering new There are no transgender protections in the fed-
seen co invalidatecranswomen or men who don't wane
to be distinguished from nontransgender men. Calling
something 'queer" or "allgenders" rather than "lesbian''
parts of their identity or becoming more comfortable
in their bodies. Hormones also play an undeniable role
in sex drive, and there is at least anecdotal evidence
to suggest chat satisfying an increased appetite may
coincide with increasing one's available options. Still,
many who choose "queer" do so specificallybecause
it describes their cultural identification in a multi-
identity the guiding principle in gendered spaces.
gendered community, and also allows for numerous
nuanced attractions and a self-identity chat is nor
reliant upon the gender(s) of their partners. Thus,
there are ITMs who date only women who still consider themselves queer,just as there are bisexuals who
refuse to be labeled as straight simply because they
are in an opposite-sex coupling. The more flexible
che queer community is, the more likely it is to have
eral ADA, but some state disability laws have been
interpreted to cover trans people and many governments and business have adopted nondiscrimination protections. Advocacy group GenderPAC
lists 120 major corporations chat have added
gender identity and expression co their nondiscrimination policies. GenderPAC also points to
23 states chat have either enacted specific gender
identity protections or had court or administrative
rulings in favor of such protections.
How can I welcome people who move toward transition but haven't come out to
me as transgender?
or "women only" is a good bee. If you exclude men,
exrend chat exclusion to cransmen and make self-
I'm attracted to an MTF lesbian who hasn't
had bottom surgery, and I'm uncomfortable around penises. What should I do?
It depends, largely,on what you both like doing. MTF
lesbian Valerie notes chat long-term estrogen therapy
hasa shrinking effect on the penis, and many MTFs
"keep it tucked away" anyway. Many MTFs will be
'Just as uncomfortable'' with it, she says, while some
lesbian couples treat it simply as "an enlarged clitoris:•
But most of all, says Valerie, negotiating sexual
comfort requires open communication. "It requires,
As more people embrace "cransgender" as an
like anything else, some planning ahead;' she said.
"But a big part of any type of sex is communication:·
room for people with a variety of self-defined, not
umbrella term to describe their identities and/ or
- Zak Szymanski
Going Under contin_u_e_d_fr_o_m_p_a~ge_5_7
______
_
who meet monthly co discuss everything from the
and the quality of the surgical interventions."
a genderqueer or third gender identity ever being
recognized or respected, the impossibility of pass-
political climate to the city's best margarita.
"I looked around the room and found chat
ing without medical intervention; just nor being
sure who I am yec:•
there were other women sitting like I do, talking
the way I do:• At that moment, Kravitz realized she
wasn't the last butch out there. "All I kept chinking
was, why am I doing chis~This is who I am:•
Transgender and genderqueer people are
becoming ever more visible. In conjunction with
chat visibility is an increased sense of community. Community can create an "us versus chem"
"It's hard to fit into society without a label,
and I was forced into a box char didn't quite fie;·
Kravitz says with disdain. "I never fully saw myself
as a man; I just thought it was where I belonged:'
Kravitz is part of a generation of lesbians for
whom the label "butch" is a dying term chat's becoming increasingly interchangeable with the "transgender:• Many young. butch lesbians are identifying
with the trans and genderqueer scene. Kravitz, feel-
Few Regrets, Though
Few studies have been conducted on regrets. A
2002 study published at the University of Liege
in Belgium, "The Transsexual: What About the
Future?" reveals char serious and long-lasting re-
phenomenon and may cause gender-questioning
people to rush into medical transition as a way to
find solidarity with the closest community.
"All people are a mix of feminine and masculine qualities. Recognizing chat mix in oneself
does not necessarily mean chat medical, social,
legal, etc., steps must be acted upon," says one
respondent to Green's survey.
ing awkward and unsafe in her own body, felt like
transitioning was the right choice at the time.
grets are rare, but suicidal attempts sometimes happen after surgery. A 1998 Cambridge study deals
more directly with what it calls "Factors Associated
Psychotherapist Lin Fraser says, "When it
comes to gender identity disorder, [we] diagnose
the condition and treat the stigma:•
The day Kravitz realized that she identified more
as a non-gendered butch lesbian than as a trans-
with Satisfaction or Regret Following Male-toFemale Sex Reassignment Surgery:• Researcher
gender man came more than two years later, when
she attended a group at the LGBT Community
Services Center in downtown Manhattan called
Anne A. Lawrence found only 15 cases of postoperative regrets, a mix of both male-co-female
and female-co-male, from a variety of causes. There
were "doubts about the correctness of the diagno-
For questioning folks, especially those who
don't fie a binary system, there's little dialogue on
the possibility of mistaken diagnosis, leaving LGB
and transgender communities unaware if this phe-
the Burch/Femme Society. The group consists of
about a dozen women, mostly in their 30s and 40s,
72
I curve
sis, doubts about the feasibility of the role reversal,
nomenon is legitimate. Perhaps most importantly,
though, it leaves chose who are victims of mistaken
identity feeling as though they are alone. ■
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CURVEMAG.COM
September 2006
I73
A FAMILY
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A lesbian comedy about
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Maggie meets the woman
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September 2006
I 75
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I 79
Top Ten Reasons We Love Jeannie "Jae" Sevelius
If you think drag kings are so lase decade, think
again. Kinging has evolved into an increasingly
popular form of cabaret, and the best drag kings
push the gender identity envelope while using a
lot of smart showmanship. Think backup dancers,
elaborate costumes and, yes, plenty of sex appeal.
San Francisco'sJeannie "Jae"Sevelius, who rules the
kinging stage as his alter-ego Jay Walker, took home
the crown at the 2005 San Francisco Drag King
Contest, which recently celebrated its 11th anniversary. Bue Jay Walker's seductive stage presence
isn't the only reason we love her. Did we mention
Sevelius is a doctor? Yum. - RebeccaChekouras
1. She's got unmistakablestage presence.
Sevelius knows a good show is all about che
energy level she can create, and she doesn' c hold
back.Jay Walker's winning performance was a roofshaccering (and purple-draped) medley of Prince
songs. "!e's the best adrenaline rush ever;' Sevelius
says of being Prince for a day.
2. Shelikesto stripdownto the basics."Kinging
is about being who I am;' Sevelius says. "No
inhibitions:• Kinging is not about pretending
to be a man, but "getting in touch with my own
natural masculinity."
3. She'sa pro.Drag king by night, clinical psychologist by day, Sevelius is a professional at boch.
As she developed her career in psychology, her
drag identity followed apace, and today the two
inform each ocher brilliantly. Gender issues, which
accommodate the full spectrum of"self;' play out
on stages and podiums wherever she performs or
speaks at national conferences.
4. Sheunderstands
genderbothonstageandoff.
Sevelius, who earned her Ph.D. at che University
of Missouri in St. Louis, is an outspoken advocate
for a more fluid understanding of gender. "A big
passion of mine as a psychologist is raising awareness about gender identity disorder and what happens co kids diagnosed with ic:•
"BeingJayWalkerhasgivenme morecourage.I have
muchlessconcernaboutwhat peoplethinkof me.•,
winning the hearts of queers who frequent San
Francisco's notorious gender-bending club, and
in 2005 she won che San Francisco Drag King
Contest with her sexy take on Prince.
7. She'shot!As a man or a woman. Part of her
9. She'salwaysprepared.A lot of prep work
happens before Jay Walker cakes the stage, from
selecting the songs co designing che costumes,
from rehearsing complex choreography ( often
with a team of backup dancers) co editing video
clips for che venue's backdrop. Sevelius even
researches the audience she expects to have and her hard work shows.
5. Shebreaksrules.At first, Sevelius didn't chink
appeal is a double take on everything. Sevelius
is a choughcful, articulate, intelligent critic of
social mores and culture. But in addition co a quiet,
she was butch enough to king, but letting Jay
Walker evolve changed how Sevelius chinks about
brainiac appeal, her ferocious onstage masculinity
amplifies her femininity.
10. Shegivesbackto the community.
"The work
hersel£ "Being Jay Walker has given me more
courage," she says. "I have much less concern about
what people chink of me. I'm trying to challenge
expectations about gender:'
6. She'sa champ.In 2004 Sevelius picked up che
tide of Mr. Trannyshack 2004 on her first cry,
so Icurve
8. She'sout,way out.A big pare of Jay Walker's
stage dynamic is her clear message of personal
courage and freedom, particularly for cransfolk or
women who choose a masculine scyle. The audience response is overwhelming - at times it's so
thunderous chat Sevelius can't hear her cues.
chat I do now is HIV prevention in high-risk
ethnic minority and cransgender populations;'
Sevelius explains. "They are living on che street,
homeless, drug-addicted; many are sex workers.
And I see chat I am in a privileged position." For
Sevelius, clinical psychologist, lesbian, artist, activist and drag king, kinging is about love, the gift
of courage and the pure joy of being. ■
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