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Description
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ToC Cover: Margaret Cho Wants You by Diane Anderson-Minshall (p36); Who's Out Now? By Stephanie Schroeder (p41); Pack Your Bags - A Travel Bonus: Paradise Lost and Found by Gillian Kendall (p42); Victoria on the Water by Karen Loftus (p44); Wanna Trade Abodes by Stephanie Schroeder (p45): Spend Less Than $50 by Jennifer Corday (p47): Riding the Rails by Aefa Mulholland (p48); Hit the Spa by Catherine Plato (p50); Swimming With The Dolphins by Mary McGrath (p51); Take a Vocation Vacation by Aefa Mulholland (p52); Atlantic City or Bust by Stephanie Schroeder (p54); Poker Babes by Jennifer Corday (p55); The Odds Are on My Side by Diane Anderson-Minshall (p56); It Stays in Vegas by Diane Anderson-Minshall (p58); Laverne and Shirley Slept Here by Kelsy Chauvin (p60); Buffalo or Bust by Jennifer Corday (p63); Cover photo by Austin Young.
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Travel Issue
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issue
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8
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Date Issued
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October 2007
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol17_No8_October-2007_OCR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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17 Great Gay Escapes
Howt
Com
to Yo
Pa
56698
80539
7
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FranklySpeaking
We Love Cho Business
I didn't think about what
it would mean to watch
THE BEST-SELLING LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME 17 NUMBER 8
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San Francisco, California 94103
Phone 415-863-6538 Facsimile 415-863-1609
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Letters to the Editor E-mail letters@curvemag.com
Frances Stevens
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Sara Jane Keskula
Colleen M. Lee
Rachel Pepper
Margaret Coble
Julia Bloch, Victoria A.
Brownworth, Gina Daggett,
Sheryl Kay, Gretchen Lee
Proofreaders Michelle Ma
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Contributing Editors
Margaret Cho's racy routine
with my mom by my side.
Turns out I shouldn't have
worried. My mom wasn't the
least bit shocked by her.
Frances Stevens Publisher/Editor in Chief
When Margaret Cho last graced our cover, five years ago, I wrote about having just taken my mom and
stepfather to the GLAAD Media Awards, where Margaret performed. I was a GLAAD board member
at the time, so proud to have my folks by my side, but I hadn't thought about what it would mean to sit
next to my mom (in the front row, no less) watching one of Margaret's racy routines. The first time she
said "pussy;' I was mortified. Turns out my embarrassment was for naught; Mom liked Margaret's act so
much, and laughed so hard, that I had to take her to see Ms. Cho again during the Assassin tour. She
laughed just as hard as the first time. Turns out, everyone from The Simpsons' creator and the women of
The View to my dear ol' mom loves Margaret Cho.
Now, on the heels of the wildly popular True Colors tour, which she emceed, with a handful of new mov~
ies about to be released, Cho is bigger than ever. She speaks frankly with cuRvE's executive editor, Diane
Anderson~Minshall, about everything from who she's crushed on to her new off~Broadway production,
Sensuous Woman. "It's comedy. It's music. It's burlesque. It's lots of wild gender stuff;' she says about the
show. You just never know what you're going to get when Margaret takes the stage, and we love it.
Of course, this is also our fall travel issue, so I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the great offerings we have
in this month's special adventure section. This issue is all about getting you outside your comfort zone,
whether it's swimming with dolphins, riding a train across America, houseswapping for a place in the
Netherlands or using your vacation to get a new vocation. There are even more options for those of us
on a budget including sofa~surfing accommodations and traveling on less than $50 a day. As a gambling
girl mysel£ I was particularly thrilled to see that some of the country's hot gaming spots made our hit list
this month. One writer hit two cities in Nevada, whije another journeyed to that New Jersey mainstay,
Atlantic City.
Let us know what adventures you're up to these days. And if you do hit the open road, take CURVEwith
you, literally and metaphorically. You don't know who you'll run into.
21curve
curve
Contributing Writers Elizabeth A. Allen, Jacob AndersonMinshall, Kathy Beige, Kelsy Chauvin, Margaret
Coble, Jennifer Corday, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo,
Michele Fischer, Tracy Gilchrist, Michele Fisher,
Tania Hammidi, Jodi Helmer, Elle Kaycee, Gillian
Kendall, Kate Lacey, Sheela Lambert, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Karlyn Lotney, Mary
McGrath, Candace Moore, Aefa Mulholland, Rachel
Pepper, Catherine Plato, Stephanie Schroeder,
Ursela Steck, Dave Steinfeld, Jocelyn Voo
Illustrators Phil Cho, Katherine Streeter
Contributing PhotographersEvan Agostini, Ron Batzdorff,
Joel Becker, Beata Becla, L.W. Braddock,
Suzanne Carr-Rossi, T Cooper, Kelsy Chauvin,
Sharon Dominick, Andrew Eccles, Bruce Gifford,
Sophia Hantzes, Justin Horrocks, Jill Lang,
Kate Lewis, Mel Lindstrom, Michael Loccisano,
Andrew Manley, Janet Mayer, Earlene Meyer, Ray
Mickshaw, Kim Musler, Maggie Parker, Andrew
Penner, Franz Pfluegl, Matthew Rodgers, Ranplett,
Santillo Photography, John Shin, Nuno Silva, Joe
Stone, Andrew Tchernov, Paul Topp, Austin Young
Volume 17 Issue 8 Curve (ISSN 1087-867)() is published monthly (except for
.Ianuary/February and July/August) by Outspoken Enterprises, Inc., 1550
Bryant St., Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103. Subscnption pnce:$49_g51year,
$62.95 Canadian (U.S. funds only) and $71.95 international (U.S. funds only).
Returned checks will be assessed a $25 surcharge. Periodicals postage paid
at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additional mailing offices (USPS 0010-355).
Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any manner, either
whole or in part, without written permission from the publisher. Publication of
the name or photograph of any persons or organizations appeanng, advertising
or listing in Curve may not be taken as an indication of the sexual orientation
of that individual or group unless specifically stated. Curve welcomes letters,
queries, unsolicited manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE for response.
Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions
cannot be returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope is included. No
responsibility is assumed for loss or damages. The contents do not necessarily
represent the opinions of the editor, unless specificallystated. All magazines sent
discreetly. Subscription Inquiries: Please wnte to Curve, 1550 Bryant Street,
Suite 510, San Francisco, CA 94103, e-mail shop@curvemag.com,or call 818760-8983. Canadian Agreement Number: 40793029. Postmaster:Send Ganadian
address changesto shop@curvemag.com,Cu!w, PO Box 122, Niagara Falls, ON
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Curve,POBox 17138,
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Keyword: Curvemag Web site: curvemag.com
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Features
"Tome,
the most
exciting
part of
beingqueer
is really
discovering
allthe
different
definitions
of who we
are. I think
the transgender
community
has been a
veryquiet
sectionof
the GLBT ...
the invisible
part."
Margaret Cho
page 39
October 2007
36
COVER: Margaret Cho Wants You She's
crushed out on nearly everyone, covered in
tats and rocking NYC. What gives? By Diane
Anderson-Minshall
51 Swimming With the Dolphins Get readyfor
a 40 mph water experience.By Mary McGrath
52 Take a Vocation Vacation Find your dream
job by test driving it first. By Aefa Mulholland
41 Who's Out Now? It's true, opera stars Patricia
Racette and Beth Clayton are married. They both
take center stage at Lincoln Center this month,
too. By Stephanie Schroeder
54 Atlantic City or Bust No longerconsideredVegas
junior,we got the city of lights in all its big city glory.
By StephanieSchroeder
42
Pack Your Bags: A Travel Bonus
Paradise Lost and Found Hawaiioffers more
than Don Ho and Spam. By GillianKendall
55
44
Victoria on the Water Take more than a sip
of this northern comfort. By Karen Loftus
56 The Odds Are on My Side Reno rollsout the
carpet to fulfillone gal'schampagnewishes and
caviardreams.By DianeAnderson-Minshall
46 Wanna Trade Abodes? A budget travel idea
called swapping. By StephanieSchroeder
47 Spend Less Than $50 Clever strategies on how
to travel on only $50 a day. By Jennifer Corday
48
50
Cover photo by
AustinYoung
Volume17#8
58
It Stays in Vegas How many shows and strippers does it take to havea good time? By Diane
Anderson-Minshall
'u,
a:
w
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60
Riding the Rails ExperienceAmerica the way
we used to, by train. By Aefa Mulholland
Hit the Spa Feellikea rock star at one of these
dyke-friendlyresorts.By CatherinePlato
Poker Babes Test your lady luck with the
ladies of poker. By Jennifer Corday
Laverne and Shirley Slept Here No longer just
a city for beer lovers, Milwaukee moves forward
with many hidden surprises. By Kelsy Chauvin
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Buffalo or Bust Life on the road isn't as
excitingas it seems.By JenniferCorday
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Departments
October 2007
Lesbiansoften
haveaffairsso
thattheycan end
a relationship.
I
don'tknowwhy
we thinkit is better
to do something
reallymeanand
stupidbeforewe
end it.
page 32
2
Frankly Speaking A note from the
chica who started it all.
8
22 Lesbofile Is Lohan turning gay?
Famous designs and a straight girl who
wants to make out with Jodie Foster.
Letters More big-lady love, dangerous
women defined (in pictures), plus lesbians and alien abduction. Yes, it's officially
crazy-dude month in Letters.
12 Contributors We loved working with
them; now it's your turn to meet our
24 Scene OMG, did you see that hottie? Don't worry, we did, and we took
pictures.
26 Lipstick & Dipstick Advice for one
Nosy Nelly and two cheating chicks.
34 Politics Are we girls ready for a strong
female prez like Hillary?
64 Sapphic Screen Women in bikinis, the
Brits' gayer version of Buffy and chicks in
short shorts.
68 In the Stacks Figuring out feminism,
a historical look at virginity, finding love
intergalactic style and prison poetry.
interns.
14 Out in Front A lesbian at a conservative
Jewish school, the woman behind WOW!
27 Ask Fairy Butch Straightforward
advice for when you discover your new
girlfriend won't work.
and the Chasing Amy Social Club.
16 Open Studio British Columbia artist
28 Astro Grrl Girl-girl love advice and
career suggestions written in the stars.
Sheryl McDougald blends Renaissance
forms with queer-girl imagery.
18 Curvatures Screaming sirens, being
Sew Gay, dude ranch giddyup and putting a "face" on love.
6
I curve
30 Relationships Strategies to take when
it's time to come out to your parents.
32 Dyke Drama Maybe you should think
twice before bringing a third to bed.
70 Music Watch October offers up a
cornucopia of new homo-hop music.
74 Tech Girl The modern-day VHS vs.
Betamax debate: Blu-ray or HD DVD?
75 I Tried It How to love cooking? How
wonderfully retro of us.
80 Top Ten Reasons We Love From
Peanuts to Jane's World, there are plenty
of reasons to want Paige Braddock.
-
l:o
including7ou
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Letters
cur.ve
100 of the Sexiest Female Musicians on the Planet
"I would like to see ... an article about downlow black women. I mean the big thing is
down-low black men, but I hate to say this,
Will There Ever
Be a Lesbian
American Idol
Winner?
KellyClarkson,
Carrie
Underwood,
Fantasia.
Welovethegalsof
AmericanIdol,butwe
askedreaders,will
we everseea lesbian
winner?
28.3%
Whosayswe
haven'talready?
27.9%
Maybe(it's about
talent,notsexuality)
13.4%
Hellyes!(it's onlya
matterof time)
13.1%
Whocaresanyway?
10.8%
DoubtIt
6.6%
Hellno!
(dykesdon't
liveupto the
Idol"image")
Telluswhatyouthink
andcheckout
curvemag.com
to vote
in ourcurrent
onlinepoll.
there are a lot of down-low sistas out there
as well, myself included."
Big Love
me that wants to be indulged in mindless pursuits. Could you
My eyes love shadows and I thought the second option for the
maybe add one recipe every month? And some actual fashion
that isn't just for the butch ladies? There are certain things I
look for in a magazine: respectable, articulate, accurate and in-
July 2007 (Vol. 17, #7) CURVE cover had predominance. The
first article mentioned on the cover was the most ethical to me.
The intentions of Katherine Moennig seemed most involving.
Overall, the message I got was power.
Toshi Reagon has been going strong for a while now, and
on Annie Leibovitz and her late partner, all the way to some
that is why I like her as the centerpiece. Her bright shirt and
unheard of couple out in the country.There is nothing about
gripping hands show she will continue to represent herself
solidly. The other three ladies mold in, each one possessing a
unique beauty. The word "biggest" also gives me wanderlust. I
CURVE magazine right now that touches my heart. Give me
something real. Feed my mind, nourish my soul. You know? If
want to jump in and explore because my curiosity screams at
the word "big:'
you need anything, let me know.
- Erica, via MySpace.com
The last reason this cover was preferable to my market
I love your magazine. I would like to see an article about inter-
awareness is the rising star that was represented. God-des
seems to be everywhere. The stage presence of this artist is in
racial lesbian and bisexual couples. Do they experience the same
type of racist reaction or double, due to being gay and dealing
with someone of another race? Also an article about down-low
control. In general, I think the cover of the austere July publication became too visually cluttered. I appreciate the time taken
to ask for public opinions.
- StephanieKnauer, Seattle Wash.
Hello to everyone, and thanks for such a great magazine! I have
a lot to say, but I will try to keep it brief. I really enjoyed the
music issue because I had heard of some of those bands but
really didn't know much about them, so thanks for the insight.
On another note: Toshi rocks! She definitely should have been
on the cover. That would have satisfied your reader Amanda
who wrote that she wanted to see bigger women in your magazine. I really loved the FOB too. What a day, hanging out with
300 lesbians who just want to have fun and kiss all day! And
Shane; the work she is doing is phenomenal. The youth respond to her because she fits in with them. I say use what you
have to make a difference. OK, I think I've rambled
enough. Thanks for a great magazine and keep up
the good work.
- Robin Tapper and Anne Marie Vincent,
Biloxi, Miss.
BI curve
formed articles; travel information; restaurant reviews and current issues. I would love to see some real-life love stories, like
black women. I mean, the big thing is down-low black men, but
I hate to say this, there are a lot of down-low sistas out there
as well, myself included. Favorite artist to feature is Meshell
Ndegeocello, what has she been up to lately? I love her. Also,
there is this beautiful lesbian rapper, Melange Lavonne. She is
so talented. Take care and keep up the great work.
-Anonymous
Editor's Note: We're all about the sistas on the DL! Great idea.
Any othersout there?Send us a note at editor@curvemag.com.
Heavenly Review
Your review of my novel Like Son (Vol. 17, #6) was so completely lovely, thoughtful and beautifully phrased. And to be
reviewed on the same page as Judy Chicago's The Dinner Party
... I swear, I'm in heaven. Thank you!
- FeliciaLuna Lemus, NYC
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0
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Editor's Note: Aw, shucks,it's a veritiblelove
fest here.Thanks.
Readers Want More
Ball-Kicking Babes
I love your magazine, really. Your articles are informative and I enjoy them. But there is a part of
The page heading, "Babes Kicking Balls"
over the photo of the Tractor Tramps (Vol.
0
g
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200793REV07/07
17, #8) has so grabbed my attention that I can't free myself of your power. That
photo and the heading speak brilliantly of lesbian empowerment, and nurtured my need to support lesbian empowerment. I love your attitude and want
to nurture my feelings toward lesbians-I have recently become a member of
Astraea, the lesbian funding foundation. Thanks again, and I hope you accept
this check for my subscription to CURVE.
- Bill Hickey, VirginiaBeach, Va.
OK, Crazy Dudes Alert
Your magazine has interested me for some time. Every time I'm up at the
Watertown Borders, I always look through CURVE,and, increasingly more
often than not, buy it. And, I love lots of the women I see every month in
CURVE.As is reflected in my art works (see images below], I adore women. I
hope you find the included examples of some of my works interesting, as well
as hints to photos of featured ladies in your magazine.
At this point, I suspect what's going on in your mind is this: Why doesn't
this geek take all of this up with the people who print the dirty magazines
(Playboy,Penthouseand so on)?
The fact is, I have. For the past 12 years, to be exact. And, in spite of general popular opinion, I'm not a geek or some weirdo who's sneaking around in
a raincoat who's looking for dirty pictures. You see, ever since early 1994, my
letters and suggestions to various magazine places have gone thus:
1. I would write a letter to, say, Playboy,Penthouse,Peifect 10, wryomever,
with many requests as to how they might improve upon what they've got.
2. In each and every case, each magazine, no matter what it might be,
"adult;' exercise, ladies-oriented, art-oriented, whatever, would utterly ignore
my correspondence. And, would continue to print the exact same tripe. To
this day, in most cases, the situation and attitude persists. They have issues.
Please keep and enjoy the included drawings with my compliments. I
hope you find them intriguing. My theme: smart is sexy! My works are sensual and stimulating in a way that Playboyand Penthousenever even thought
about being.
The ladies in the drawings are characters from my various novel works.
These, in turn, were inspired by the fine and lovely actors Gillian Anderson
and Helena Bonham-Carter.
The vampy sense of danger you see in the faces of my
women is intentional. Tell me i£ after looking these works
over, you don't see something going on.
Again, I hope these will help provide some thoughts as
to possible future covers/feature photos of CURVE's many
fascinating ladies.
- Anthony M. Oddi, Watertown, N.Y.
Editor's Note: Well Anthony, we de.finitelysensesomethinggo-
ing on, that'sfor sure.I'm certainGillianAnderson would,too. _
I am contacting "The Lesbian Magazine" with a proposal to
write an article about the UFO festival that will be held this
July in Roswell, N.M.This year marks the 60th anniversary of
an alien spacecraft crashing on a ranch in Roswell, and my article will report on the festival and detail what lesbians think of
101curve
the crash and how it affects their every day lives. Lesbians love aliens, UFOs
and Roswell, and I am uniquely qualified to write this piece because my friend
Tanya from Downtown (she lives downtown, hence the nickname) is alesbian sometimes. Well, that's what my neighbor Mr. Biggs told me. He would
know because he loves lesbians.
The other reason I am qualified is because in the summer of 2006 I was
abducted and held against my will while being probed, beaten, tortured, examined, branded, implanted, and admonished by extraterrestrials from outer
space-all in the name of peace. At least, that's what the aliens told me.
A self-addressed stamped envelope is enclosed so you will not do anything
"rash" or "freak out" or go "ballistic" or "insane" because editors do that when
return postage is not included.
Thank you for reading and responding to my letter.
- Kenneth Snipps, Forestville,Conn.
Editor's Note: We getplenty of lettersfrom men who deserveto be admonishedbut
this is ourfirst from thefamous letterprankster Kenneth Snipps. We feel worthy
now. Eat your heart out, Maxim!
Got Somethingon Your Mind?
E-mail letters@curvemag.com; write to CURVELetters, 1550 Bryant St., Ste.
510, San Francisco, CA 94103; fax to 415-863-1609. Please include your
name, city and state. Letters may be edited for clarity and length.
Corrections
In our September issue (Vol. 17, #7), the article "Why Lesbians Love La
Lucha" should have used the term "Zapatista movement:' The error was no
fault of the author. In the same issue's Astro Grrl column, we incorrectly cited
JoanJett's age; she is 47. RegardingJuly/ August (Vol.17, #6), G-Child's legal
name is Gina Mogranello; the article on Erin McKeown should have referred
to "marijuana songs of the '20s:' Lastly, in June (Vol. 17, #5) Curvatures, we
incorrectly identified where Casey Parks was raised; she grew up in Georgia
and Louisiana and went to school in Mississippi. CuRVE sincerely regrets
the errors.
Contributors
Lured by the luscious landscape and ladies of the Bay Area, SarahE.Brown,
a Philadelphia native, relocated herself to San Francisco to work at CURVE. "I am
passionate about both animal and women's rights and am interested in looking at
inescapable connections between these two seemingly unlinked categories;' Brown
quips. She is currently a junior at Vassar College. When she's not grappling with
feminist theory, writing or editing, Brown enjoys running, live music and gourmet
vegan food.
internship, she"only had a conceptual idea of what it would be
Prior to MariaGinsbourg's
like:'She happily states that "I got to write reviews,fact check, edit, transcribe and send
out tearsheets, and believe it or not, I never had to get anyone coffee.All of this made for a
pretty good introduction to the industry. The best part of it is allI got to spend days play,
ing with words and learning:'
"Straight girl working at a lesbian publication. That about sums up this [intern]
How did this happen, you may ask? Peoples
experience for me;' says KatiePeoples.
was simply looking for anyone who would take a chance on a recent college graduate
with no professional experience. However, her time at CURVE has given her invaluable
experience as well as a new perspective. She's written for college and high school publi,
t:ations and enjoys blogging about video games. Peoples supports her writing habit by
dealing lattes to caffeine addicts.
"When I started to intern for CURVE, a dream of mine had come true, even though
things didn't come as easy as I thought they would. I made some really great friends
"The experience has definitely, opened
and learned some new skills;' says AmberRivard.
my eyes to what I could and could not see myself doing in the future. It has also
helped me set new goals for my future."
It's a Tough Job
Our intrepid executive editor Diane Anderson-Minshallhad
all the fun this summer. First she recieved the high roller
treatment in Reno, Nevada (and was showered with love
from a bevy of gay beauties),then it was on to Las Vegas
for a good ol' fashion (rainbow)family vacation full of
gambling, strippers and desert excursions(and the lovely
Paris hotel). Here she is with her travel companions (from
left): Dallas Voice editor Arnold Wayne Jones, AndersonMinshall, Las Vegas and More's John Forseth and Babs
Daitch (aka Babs the Day Tripper)enjoying a cruise on
Lake Mead. Read about it on page 58.
12
I curve
Wolfe
Wolfe Video.com
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THE BEST-SELLING LESBIAN MAGAZINE
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•
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A Cantor in Training
Lesbian Reality Maven
Still ChasingAmy
Only six short months ago, MarisaJames
When most people embark on a new venture they
keep focused on one business endeavor, but not
Hard to believe a gay woman could move to San
Francisco and feel a little on the outs. But if that
male, to be accepted into the Jewish Theological
Seminary, the Conservative movement's school
DonnaMete-she'staken on three.
same woman happened to identify as a bisexual, as
for ordaining rabbis and cantors.
''I've always loved going to services and
celebrating the holidays, and music has always •
earlier business success founding a privately held
conference and trade show company where she
can be a little daunting.
So Larson set out to create her own circle
simultaneously worked with a number of key
industries, helping thousands of executives execute
of accepting dykes and others back in 2001 and
started a group called the Chasing Amy Social
their development strategies. Today, Mete is the
executive producer of a soon,to,debut lesbian
Club.
"When I moved to the Bay Area, there wasn't a
reality Web show, penning an upcoming book and
designing an extensive community,based Web
group like Chasing Amy in existence ... a safe haven
at the zoo, or one of the Andrews Sisters. Then
reality set in. After graduating college, she
worked with her synagogue's environmental
site-all at once.
"Honestly, I am the consummate multitasker
Green Team and helped with Jews for Racial
and Economic Justice (JFREJ) in New York.
She also writes Jewish,themed, queer,
and I work at warp speed;' says Mete. "I never do
been available as a stepping stone for those first
anything half,ass. If there's a way to get and give it
all, I'll find it and do it:'
coming out as bi or lesbian and has offered a sense
of community to a lot of bisexual women who had
friendly books for children. Referring to the
Metes Webisode show is entitled WOW!
Womenon Women,an honest, open and, at times,
previously felt cast out of or ignored by the lesbian
community:'
comedic look into lesbian life. There are no celebri,
ties or actresses involved because it's real life,but
makes no income from Chasing Amy, is quick to
became the first openly gay student, female or
been an integral part of my Jewishness, so the
cantorate is the job of my dreams;' says James.
As a young girl, James recalls wanting to
grow up to be a helicopter pilot, a giraffe,keeper
dozens of children she's taught at Congregation
Beth Simchat Torah, the largest LGBT
synagogue in the world, James says, "Most of
them are very young children growing up with
two moms or two dads in Jewish homes, so I'm
working on stories that reflect their lives:'
While much of her professional journey has
been unconventional, the greatest twist along
the road has been the acceptance to JTS, where
historically Conservative Jews have taken the
traditional view of homosexuality as stated in
Leviticus. James says the approval for her to join
the program was not so much monumental as
it is indicative of new and exciting changes that
are happening within Conservative Judaism.
-Sheryl Kay
Do you know of a woman who Is literally
out in front, making changesfor the good
of the lesbiancommunity?Tell us about
her at editorOcurvemag.com. (Or,hey, why
not Justnominate yourself?)
14
Icurve
Perhaps it goes back to her enormous
Mete says the show has such great energy that she's
"sure_we'llsee a few wonderfully brave actresses
who want to come out and have some fun with
us ... whether they're straight, gay or bi,curious:'
did AmyLarson,
even the queer capital of America
for bisexual women to socialize within the greater
queer community without experiencing bi,bash,
ing;' says Larson. "Over the years, the group has
Larson, a 29,year,old fashion consultant who
stress that the group is not a sex club, a political
or religious group, or a dating service, but rather
a community,based group of women who get
Each episode will run 10-20 minutes in length,
together for dinners and other social events. All
women are welcome, regardless of age, race or
weekly,26 weeks a year.
Her self,published book, titled TheLesbian
sexual orientation.
Although Larson does not advertise, Chasing
SurvivalGuidefor Healinga BrokenHearton the
Mend,takes a long, hard look at how lesbians
Amy has grown by leaps and bounds, starting with
10 women, and boasting over 500 members today.
sometimes mistreat each other when one wants
out and the impact on the woman whose heart
has been broken. And with her new Web site, our,
And as the group grows, so do Larson's plans. This
year, Chasing Amy marched for the first time in
WOW space.com, Mete will offer blogs, podcasts,
films, and other products and services still yet
unannounced.
"I am definitely on a mission to help women
get in touch with their greatness and to be
everything they've ever imagined they could be;'
says Mete. "That's my dream:' - SherylKay
the annual San Francisco Pride parade.
"Ultimately, my only written,in,stone goal with
the group is to continue to throw fun social events
that bring bisexual ~d bi,supportive women
together;' says Larson. "I love planning events, so
the sky's really the limit, but sometimes simplicity
can be the most enticing:' To meet Larson's ladies,
see chasingamysocialclub.com. - SherylKay
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Auction items include:
www.orbitz. com/gaytrave I
Auction proceeds support
LGBT and AIDS
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Sheryl McDougald
IPAINTER I
While a student, Sheryl McDougald recognized iliac Renaissance artists like Michelangelo, Leonardo and Donatello "were
all basically homosexual and the way that they were seeing things was that the combination of male and female was closer
to God.n While investigating these artists' images, which merged masculine qualities with females and feminine qualities
with males, McDougald decided to take on chis type of gender and sexuality play in her own work. Her pieces integrate
well,known classic Renaissance forms with contemporary queer female imagery. Gillian as Giulianode Medici, for instance,
portrays a bare,chested, leather,strapped butch in combat boots positioned in the same role as Michelangelo's 15th cen,
tury model. "What I did was take those old Renaissance paintings and put them back into relationships that I like to
see, something chat is related to human desire and human nature, but has socially changed over the past 500 years;' says
McDougald.
McDougald hails from British Columbia and her work has been featured in numerous magazines, television and video pieces and gallery exhibi,
tions, and it has garnered her well,deserved praise both within and outside of queer communities. But her most important audience is her peers: 'The
people that I've grown with and have my own relationships with don't get to see art that relates to us, about us directly, and that's what I feel I'm doing;'
says McDougald. "I think that when you take [Renaissance forms] out of their context and put them into a different context, it might give the viewer
an even more powerful impression than if it was just, say, a portrait of two women. To actually use Big Book Art History is kind of cheeky, but it's
more empowering:' - Sarah E. Brown
16
Icurve
200
OCTOBER
12-21
PRESENTED
BY
es
www.ticketwindowonline.com
or (206) 325-6500
PRODUCEDBY
three
dollar bill
cinema
www.seattlequeerfilm.org
[~
GENRE
@omcast.
Real Estate
-
IIRBITZ
Curvatures
New Breast Cancer Detection
Cheaper
Than a Hotel
Adventurous
travelers(read:broke)
will geta kickoutof
CouchSurfing.com.
This
creativetakeonthe
social-networking
site
boastsover260,000
members
whosleepon
eachother'scouches
or
meetupfor a coffee.It's
alsoa greatchanceto
hangwithlocalsandsee
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Thesitereliesonthe
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owncommon
sensewhenit comesto
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Whileit mayseem
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upstayingwith,at least
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you
didn'tpayfor a hotel
room.InParis.
InJuly.Shudder.
- KatiePeoples
18
I
curve
In September 1999, Carole Conway, then 32,
found a lump in her left breast but because
there was no pain, she didn't take any action.
After some discomfort, she had a biopsy in
October that revealed a malignant tumor.
"I remember the tears just running down
my face, as I was too doped up to actually
express my true feelings;• the now 44-yearold Gulfport, Fla. resident says. "My doctor
proceeded to the waiting room to tell my partner. She fell to the
floor sobbing, and he went to the floor with her, holding her and
trying to give some kind of consolation:•
Conway began painful chemotherapy and became one of the
nearly 180,000 women who are diagnosed with cancer every
year, according to the American Cancer Society.
The cancer has since spread to Conway's lungs and brain,
and she continues to fight it with the support of her partner and
community. Early detection has always been key to preventing
and treating cancer. The earlier tumors are spotted and treated,
the greater the chance of survival.
Now new technology is aiding radiologists and oncologists
in identifying tumors. Breast MRis, the latest in cancer detecting methods, are much more sensitive than film mammography
and can detect small, possible cancers. "We can find tumors earlier and smaller on breast MRis than we can any other way;'
says Dr. David Gruen at the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer
Center in Fairfield, Conn.
However, the problem with a breast MRI is that it picks up
things that are as small as 2 mm. This can be problematic when
it comes to figuring out which of those little spots is a cancer
suspect and needs to be biopsied. But a recent study in the peer-
reviewjournal Radiology has shown that computeraided detection (CAD) technology, when used with
a breast MRI, can improve detection of tumors by
20 percent. CAD technology helps radiologists and
oncologists find the needle in a dense haystackmaking it ideal for diagnosing younger women.
"Imagine trying to find the first star on a cloudy
night;' Gruen says. ''That's what finding a breast
cancer is like in a dense breast:'
Those with high risk factors such as family history or obesity
are being recommended to take advantage of breast MRis and
get screened before 40. - KP
Buy for the Cure
The best part of October is all the
pink products that come out in support of breast cancer awareness. Pink
ribbons, pink bags and pink shirts.
Crosley Radio is no exception to this
bandwagon. During the month of
October, Crosley is donating a portion
of its proceeds from sales of their pink
retro phones and radios to Susan G.
Komen for the Cure foundation. The
Corsair clock radio and CD player
is great for a nighstand. Our personal favorite: the pink
public pay phone. Make your guests use it and rack up the
change.-KP
A Simply Divine Site
It was a summer night (skirt season) and I was suffering from
major high-heel regret when I received my first subscription
digest from DivineCaroline.com.
The letter had teasers linking to stories with titles such
as "The Gift of Cancer" and "Goodbye Eggs, Hello
Church;' but the story that really piqued my interest began with this: ''I've been bad to my feet: I've
perched them on wedges, squished them into tight
vintage boots, pinched my toes in peep-toes and
squashed them into pointy-top shoes:• Suddenly
I recognized the value of a Web site for and by
women. They've been through the same experiences that I have. They would understand.
DivineCaroline is a new online community where women can publish alongside
professional authors. It's also a place where
women can share stories, pose questions and
find answers.
Though the site doesn't specifically target lesbians, it's definitely queer friendly. Not only is the senior copy editor a lesbian,
but I also found a large number of articles on the site with titles
such as "Gay Rodeo Clown;'"The Secret Sex Lives of Lesbians;'
"Homophobia in Women's Sports;' "The L Word: Why You
Should Start Watching It Now" and "Making Babies in a
Brave New World:'
The articles are well written, intelligent and quite
original, and DivineCaroline's editorial team includes
experienced journalists, published authors and the
top female bloggers in North America. The site
is a brand of Real Girls Media Network, whose
founder, Kate Everett-Thorp, has earned numerous awards, including being listed as one of
the Top 25 Women to Watch by Advertising Age.
- Maria Ginsbourg
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Briarcrest Tales
Coming from Fall River, Mass.-home to Lizzie Borden and the
legendary murders of her parents-one might expect author Anna
Furtado, who's lived in the San Francisco Bay Area nearly all of her
adult life, to specialize in horror. Instead, she pens period romances.
After winning a Writers' Market 24-Hour Short Story Contest,
Furtado released her first novel, 2004's The Heart's Desire to wide
acclaim and was nominated for several awards. Set in the early
Renaissance, Heart's Desire (annafurtado.com) follows the romance
of a spice merchant and a mysterious noblewoman and is the first
book in the Briarcrest Chronicles.
Furtado credits the realism in her books to the years she spent researching the historical aspect, "among the dusty tomes in the public
libraries of the Bay Area. It took a great deal of research to become
intimately familiar with the period. Since I love the period, and I love
old books, I'm kind of glad that I started that research before the
Web became so much a part of our lives. The experiences I had doing
research are some of [my] most treasured moments:'
That research allowed Furtado to bring the 1400s to life: "I think
that being so imbued in the time comes through in the telling of the
story, and that's what people love about the work:'
What sets the Briarcrest Chronicles apart-in
addition to
Furtado's well-researched material and the lesbian content-is her
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to the present day.
"Sometimes my inner critic tries to tell me it's a really lame idea;'
Furtado admits. "I can't recall ever reading anything like this, either
in lesbian literature or in the mainstream, (but I] realize what a
good thing that can be. It struck me as a novel way to do a series,
fast-forward(ing] into contemporary times and (tying] it back to the
first two:'
Before reaching that point, there's still book two, The Heart's
Strength, which comes out this falland is already garnering rave reviews.
The Heart's Strength continues the Briarcrest Chronicles two decades af::l ter the conclusion of Heart's Desire and revolvesaround the difficulties
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the women face when the Inquisition invades their town.
The author may enjoy the feel of old books-and mourn the loss
of independent bookstores-but she's also embracing new mediums.
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Sharon Stone
Keira Knightly
"I've been called a bitch-and a lot worse-for years.
And you know what, so what? People who think
that aren't going to change their minds. And I
wouldn't dream of sending them to therapy to
'rehabilitate' their feelings. How absurd. Please, I
call all my gay friends 'big fags"'>> Actress
Sharon Stone to the New York Post, on the
Grey's Anatomy controversy
"When I was 14, 15, all my friends came out. So I had
to figure out all that was going on and read about
it. I actually had to come out to them that I was
straight. It's funny because usually it is the other
way around.">> Cyndi Lauper, to QVegas
"[The Human Rights Campaign] should put much more
pressure on Democratic candidates and avoid
sucking up to Hillary Clinton at this early stage of
the campaign. Their namby pamby press releases
are worse than no response at all.">> Lesbian
columnist, Ann Rostow, writing in San Francisco Bay Times
"[Beth Ditto] is just amazing. And she's so sexy, she
really is. When she was performing, she started
taking all her clothes off. I stood there watching
her strip, thinking, 'Oh my God, that woman is so
sexy.' She has the most amazing body.">> Keira
Knightley, to Metro UK
October 2007
I 19
Curvatures
Reinventing the Globe
It's kismet that a Renaissance woman with a resume that includes actor, director, playwright and founder of Mujeres
Advancing Culture History and Art Theater Co. has rescued
West Hollywood's Globe Playhouse from possible obscurity.
The fate of the venue, famed for offering serious theater in
the heart of Los Angeles' BoysTown, was in question after its
founder, Thad Taylor, died in fall 2006. Then Cuban American
Odalys Nanin stepped in with MACHA and a re-imaginHow Gay Are
Your Clothes?
ing of the traditional space. The Drama Desk award-winning
TakeSEWGAYwithyou Nanin has created a community space for theater, fine art, film
to Milan,Tokyo,Fujior and strong coffee, replete with a stage modeled after London's
anywhere
you'retravel- Globe Theater, where hordes gathered for centuries to watch
ingthisseasonandfeel Shakespeare's plays.
gay/les/bi/trans
down
A spitfire of a woman, openly lesbian Nanin has wowed audito youthreads.With ences-and wooed the ladies-with her culturally relevant and
slogansondudsfrom steamy plays, including The Nun and The Countess and Garbo's
undiesandbandanas
to Cuban Lover, in which Nanin invoked Cuban luminary and
T-shirts,SEWGAYsets
famed lesbian bed-hopper Mercedes de Acosta with uncanny,
off gaydarsno matter
sultry verve. Nanin's 2005 play, Beyond Love, garnered her the
whereyouare.Fashion
designer
Vanessa
Craig award for Best Lesbian Play in our Lesbian Theater Awards.
This summer, she kicks off the new Globe's stage producdoesmorethansew
tions
with her latest opus, Skin of Honey, about politics and a
a playfultune.The
lesbian
love affair in the wake of the Bay of Pigs invasion. At the
LosAngeles-based
designeralsostarsin theater's Grand Gala Opening in April, Nanin teased an audi-
CurlGirls,the LogoTV
seriesabouta groupof
surfergirlswholiketo,
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Withhergrandmama's
sewingmachine,
she's
a modern-day
seamFor those mourning the end
stress,silkscreener,
of
the Michigan Womyn's
embroiderer
andtrue
Festival in August, a journey
fashiondesigner.
to the Siren National Festival
Didwe mention
TerryP.Milford,the
(Nov. 1-4) in Portland, Ore.
angrybanana?
should provide a much-needYou'llhaveto goto a
ed post-Pride inSEWGAYeventto meet
fusion of womenthisdeliciousassistant.
centric music, film,
(sew-gay.com)
art and entertainment. The fest boasts an impressive
-I Hammidi
ence with a cherry-picked scene from the play, which started
with sex and ended in a lovers' political quarrel.
Adhering to MACHA'.s mission to build bridges between
the LGBT and straight communities in a multicultural space,
every square inch of the tiny theater fulfills Nanin's vision. The
lobby doubles as an art gallery, while a modest screening room
next to the lobby provides independent filmmakers with a
friendly place to show their work.
In the theater's evening hours, its lobby is a coffeehouse and
gathering place, with Wi-Fi even. You can almost smell the revolution in the air. - Tracy Gilchrist
Calling All Sirens
20
Icurve
lineup including sweet indie act Mirah (above), punk
group the Gossip, self-described "ragtime in minor
keys" outfit Jamie Stillwater Trio and many other
women or women-led artists hailing from the Pacific
Northwest. According to event coordinators, the
trans-friendly extravaganza was designed to provide
a "safe, warm, space" for women to come together to
inspire and build community through art. In the spirit
of inclusion, the fest makes no attempt to define the
category "women;' and men are allowed to attend and
even perform if they are members of a women-fronted
group. Siren will also offer free educational workshops
and a community marketplace designed to allow the
public to form connections with women-centric organizations,
artists and entrepreneurs. After the music and celebrations have
died down, be sure to stay in town and hit up the scene in one
of the most lesbian-friendly communities
in the nation. (sirennation.com)
- Sarah E. Brown
No More
Overpriced Tuition
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Thinking of toiling away to become a doctor or lawyer? Know someone on the brink of dropping out of med school? Here's the perfect
gift: Med School in a Box and Law School in a Box. First, compare
prices and save: Duke: $145,000; Yale $155,000; Med School in a
Box: $15. Med School is a hilarious little metal box filled with a medical education courtesy of Mental Floss magazine. Contents include
a comprehensive textbook (Med School in 96 Pages), 10 heroes of
medicine trading cards, 10 flash cards, a board exam trivia challenge
and a rolled diploma with actual Latin words. The Law School version is equally whimsical. (quirk.com) - Diane Anderson-Minshall
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A Festival for All Seasons
friendly Fort Lauderdale for the 2007 Australian
Festival? Play rugby (don't tackle that cute girl too
hard, now), throw some grub on the barbie and
debauch like they do down under during this six,
day extravaganza. (storytellingcenter.com)
2othAnnualSouthPadreIslandSandCastleDays
{South
PadreIsland,Texas)
Oct.13--0ct.21
Now that Pride season and its inescapable liver,de,
straying, heart,breaking activities have ended, hit,
ting up another fest may be the last thing on your
mind. But, while you missed Missoula, Montana's
famed Annual Testicle Festival (which is surpringly
popular with Rocky Mountain dykes), there are
some off,beat fall festivals that are worth hauling
yourself out of social hibernation for. - Sarah E.
Brown and Katie Peoples
2007Australian
Festival
{FortLauderdale,
Fla.)
Oct.31-Nov.5
Australia is an awesome place, especially if you're
a beach,minded babe, but few have the time or
money to make the day,long trek to the other side
of the world. Thankfully, South Florida has come
up with a way to bring Aussie culture to you. Who
needs Bondi Beach when you can head to LGBT,
Amateur and professional sand sculptors from
all over the world descend on South Padre Island
every year to create beautiful works of art using
natural elements on the beach. The not,for,profit
event showcases the artwork and an appreciation
for the coastal environment, and donates to organi,
zations helping to preserve it. Events include music,
kite flying and sand castle lessons. See it before it
washes away! (sandcastledays.com)
The24thAnnualAlbuquerque
International
Balloon
Fiesta{Albuquerque,
N.M.)
Oct.5--0ct.
14
This annual event is full of hot air! The nine,day
festival is the largest balloon attraction in the
world and features days of races and chances to
fly in hot air balloons. Be a participant or specta,
tor in this celebration of ballooning and enjoy the
bright colors against the big, blue New Mexico sky.
TakeAmerica's
favoriteLGBT
travel
(balloon.fiesta.com)
Dyke~Friendly Dude Ranches
If you're sick of the spa yet in dire need of a respite
from your hectic life, two new guides aimed at
getting you off your bum and into a saddle prove
that dude ranches are a wonderful option for ac,
tive gals looking for a less con,
ventional vacation. Both 100
Best Ranch Vacations in North
(insidersguide.com)
and Dude Ranch Vacations and
Horseback Adventures ( dude,
ranches.gordonsguide.com)
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Of the ranches that make an extra effort to
cater to women, a few gems rise above the rest.
For example, Coronado Outfitters in Patagonia,
Ariz. offers wilderness pack trips and horseback
rides at 9,000 feet overlooking
the insanely gorgeous Galiuro,
Huachuca
and Patagonia
mountains. Or try Silver Spur
Ranch in Bandera, Texas,
which lets you shovel bull crap
without the distraction of
machismo bullshit. Your best
bet, though, is to check out
B.C. horse vacations in British
Columbia, which after a day
of getting dirty, lets you show,
er off and then get married
nearby. Honeymoon anyone?
-
Sarah E. Brown
October 2007
I
21
Curvatures
Lesbofile
Designs of the Rich and Famous
Is everyone gay (or a clothing designer) these days: I By Jocelyn Voo
MySpace ... and Then My Place
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,
they say. While LindsayLohanchecked herself
into rehab, one of her 75 "friends" on her private
MySpace profile-which
includes the likes of
NicoleRichieand The Hills star Lauren Conrad-
Sure, she's kissed Helen Mirren and Julianna Margulies
(on-screen, mind you), but she's not done yet. "Jodie
Foster. She totally does it for me. I think she's so amazing."
leaked personal messages between Lohan and
Star magazine regay DJ pal SamanthaRonson,
ports. "Babe, if I don't have you in my life then
I should just go die.... I want to marry you and
have children with you;' Lohan allegedly wrote.
Another message ended with a late-night bidding,
"Go to bed babe ... I love you:' And her sign-off?
"Lindsay Ronson:' Just add "delusional" to Lohan's
ever-growing list of mental woes.
Real Women Have Curves
First it was Madonnafor H&M, then it was Lily
Allen for British line New Look. Now it's the
Gossip frontwoman BethDittowho's hopping on
the singer-turned-designer train. NME reports
that Ditto is in talks with New Look (though
the company declines to comment) for a Dittodesigned range. The singer, of course, has never
been one to hide her desire for clothing designspecifically, for plus-sized girls. She was invited
to play an in-store gig at British retail giant Top
Shop earlier this year, but the rocker refused, saying, "I want to design. Give me the job-I want to
make big sizes:' Consider this payback for Ditto,
who lost out on the title of "Sexiest Woman'' in
the Shock Waves NME 2007 Awards to waif-andtemp-H&M-designer Kate Moss.
But Ditto isn't the only crossover artist. Actor
MichelleRodriguez
is now working on a multiethnic-inspired clothing line. "The company that
I want to start should be ethnic;' Rodriguez,
who grew up in Puerto Rico and the Dominican
Republic, said in Spanish to the Sony channel's It's
Midday in China program, which aired in Latin
America in July."I think there is an awareness, and
people are opening their eyes about the world and
the environment:'
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"JodieFoster.She totally does it for me. I think
World, there's the slut, the bitch, another slut, anshe's so amazing;' Sedgwick answers when asked
other bitch, and, oh yeah, the gay person. Coral
about her most desired kisses. 'J\nd SalmaHayek. Smith, cast member from Real World: Return to
That would be really hot:' But even though the
New York, self-admittedly categorizes herself as
mom of two isn't afraid to engage in lesbian scenes, the bitch of that season. But now, Smith, 28, can
looks like the lesbians won't cut her any slack: ''I've pretty much claim the gay typecast, too. In an inCelebrity Straight: The New Almost Gay
had a lot of friends who have had women make
terview with Outlook magazine, Smith describes
Golden Globe winner KyraSedgwick
is "very marpasses at them, but that has never happened to
her sexual leanings as "very cloudy at this point in
ried [to actor Kevin Bacon] and very heterosexual;'
me;' she says. 'J\nd let me tell you, I'm a little hurt
time. I'm definitely venturing toward my lesbian
but that doesn't stop her from considering herself
by that!"
qualities. It's been a long time coming .... I'm ata "friend of the gays;' she tells The Advocate. Sure,
tracted to beautiful women. Beautiful women
she's kissed HelenMirrenand JuliannaMargulies The Real World Gets Real-er
tend to be attracted to me. It really seems to work
(on-screen, mind you), but she's not done yet.
For every season of MTV's dramafest The Real out for me:' Hey, don't fix it if it ain't
221 curve
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Curvatures
A Camcorder Revolution
Suzanne Moe is a tattoo artist known for leaving
memorable, lasting impressions on skin. She never
planned on becoming a documentary filmmaker
responsible for leaving her mark on the LGBT
community, much less on the Constitution.
Despite the fact that Barbara and Tibby: A Love
Story in the Face of Hate is shot with a small hand,
held camera, little lighting and zero sound equip,
ment, Moe's documentary is quickly becoming
recognized as the go,to educational piece for any
state confronted with legislation prohibiting civil
unions, partnership contracts or other arrange,
ments between persons of the same sex purporting
to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage.
In Virginia, Moe's state of residence, it's the
Marshall/Newman Amendment that sought to
change the Constitution this past November, at,
tempting to strip not just gay rights, but human
rights. Her rise to political activist and Vote NO
mouthpiece began with an e,mail from her friend
Barbara, explaining that she and her partner of 40
years, Tibby, were moving to Maryland so as not to
become the test case should the amendment pass.
They had reason to fear, as Barbara had just been
diagnosed with a brain aneurysm and her health
was fragile. After four decades of loving and liv,
ing, they weren't willing to risk having their medi,
cal directives, wills, finances and other contractual
agreements deemed null and void.
"That e,mail twisted me;' Moe says. "I printed
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it and carried it around in my back pocket for three
days. I read and re,read it. These women were pil,
lars in my community and they were being run
out of town. I became so angry I started shaking. I
knew time was of the essence and as an artist, ere,
ating for a purpose that matters to me is integral
to who I am:'
Moe approached a weary and semi,closeted
Barbara and Tibby with a proposal. Although she'd
never worked with a camera, she wanted to tell
their story, via video, to their church congregation
so at least the people who cared about them most
would know the truth about why they were leav,
-ing. Barbara and Tibby contemplated it for some
time before agreeing to let Moe videotape them.
They were scared, to be sure, but the video was to
be shown just one time. They found some comfort
in that.
"I started to tremble as I was filming them talk
about their life together;' Moe says. "I knew it was
good and compelling. These women are completely
non,threatening and relatable. At the time, I truly
believed this video would only be seen one night,
but I knew those who saw it would realize how
special this story was and how important it would
be to vote no:'
Moe spent the next two months learning the
software and editing the video. It debuted to 200
people, mostly straight, and concluded with a
standing ovation and several "now I get it" revela,
tions. Barbara and Tibby were blown away by the
response. That one showing led to thousands of
screenings at churches-it also premiered at an
HRC function, was used as a tool in a law school
and was the focus of hundreds of viewing parties
across the country. Thanks to this documentary,
people from all walks oflife are becoming educated
on the veiled wording of these types of amend,
ments and learning how it affects all unmarried
people, regardless of sexual preference.
"This documentary took off not because it's
technically wonderful, but because it's the first
piece of media telling this story;' Moe says. "I was
aware of my ignorance, and I didn't let it stop me.
Sure, someone could have told it better, or made
it look slicker, but the truth was nobody was
doing it."
Although the amendment passed in her home
state of Virginia, Moe refuses to be defeated. She
had no aspirations of becoming a lesbian ambassa,
dor, but now that she is one, she's speaking out not
only about the damning legislation, but also about
the power one individual has to become an agent
for change. Suzanne Moe is proof you don't have
to know what you are doing, you just have to know
why. - Heather Fitz
....
Orrt&Abt l!dlton
,
aaetceAWllld
"Pearl\ .... it all.,,,.,,c...
Find someone
you clickwith on
pinksofa.com
To see a clip of Barbara and Tibby: Love in the Face
of Hate or to get information about hosting your own
viewing party, visit sumoe.com.
1 week free trial
Just enter the promo code
CU rve 10 when you join
~sofa.com
connecting lesbians
America's fastest growing lesbian website
October 2007
I23
1 Portland Pride cuties who love CURVE2 Hotties at the Garden Party, a benefit for
New York's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center 3 Amy Alonzo
and Alison Burgos of Pandora Ultra Events got together with CURVEto throw the fabu,
lous Peach Pride Party during Atlanta Pride 4 Twin Cities women know how to show
their pride and political saavy 5 CuRVE publisher Frances Stevens (seated) got some
official recognition from the San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women (from
lefr: Andrea Shorter, Caroline Marks,Jing Xu Lee) for her work promoting lesbian vis,
ibility in the media. Go Franco! 6 More lovelies at Twin Cities Pride in Minneapolis
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Advice
Lipstick & Dipstick
My Memory Box
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: My girlfriend of
four years recently stumbled upon a box of
old letters, cards and pictures from previous
relationships. She was very hurt and upset
about the finding, and after she read through
all of it demanded I throw everything away. I
told her it is part of my past, and I really didn't
want to get rid of my memories. (Throwing
things away doesn't rid me of a past.) This
is very important to her, and the memories
of my life are important to me. I would like to
write a novel some day and would really like
to have some reference. She seems to think
that keeping these mementos suggests that
I'm not committed to our relationship. I think
she should have left my personal stuff alone.
The keepsakes were not in plain view, so she
had to dig. And then once she found them,
she read every single card. - Savin9 Stuff in
South Florida
lipstick:Tell your girlfriend to back the fuck off. I
feel suffocated just by reading your note so I can't
imagine how you feel. The problem here is not
you, but her lack of confidence. Do not throw your
stuff out-that's absurd and, believe me, you'll be
sorry. Find out from your girlfriend
what you can do to reassure her
about your commitment and
your relationship and then be
proactive. But beware: There may
not be a damnthing you can do.
My concern, Sentimental SouthFloridian, is that these veins of inse-
box is tucked away in the
closet, she is front and center
for the world to see. Forget
the hope chest, you're all
about her box now.
Dipstick:
I couldn't agree with you more, Lipstick.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
I have a history of cheating.
My girlfriend has a history of
sleeping with a lot of girls. Neither
of us has ever been in a relationship this
serious; we're talking about getting an
apartment together, wedding, kids. She
just joined the military and is leaving for
basic training soon. She'll be gone for five
months. I'm concerned that she will cheat,
and she is concerned that I will cheat.
What are the chances of us being faithful?
- Cheating Chicks
Tell her Dipstick said the same thing. Even though
it's normal to be a little jealous of ex-girlfriends, this
girl is going too far. She needs to understand that
our pasts make us who we are. Without all those
previous lovers, you wouldn't be the fabulous dyke
she fell in love with today. Don't throw your things
away, but do make sure she knows that while that
Dipstick:Zero. Five months of basic, then what?
She ships off to some foreign land to defend our
oil freedom for two or three years. And with the
military's policy of kicking all the hot lesbians out
of the service, she'll have to keep your love on the
DL. Before she leaves, the two of you should have
curity run deep, and just like you can't put a
Band-Aid on a heart condition, there may not be an
easy fix.She needs to respect you and your thingssnooping is childish-and, most importantly, she
needs to understand the word "boundaries;' and
then build a bridge to get over this. For now, as she's
working through her issues, tell her Lipstick won't
let you get rid of those things. Tell her it was a firm
"No!" from me, and I'll take the heat.
a serious talk about putting your relationship in a
holding pattern until the war is over, or at least until
2008 when a Democrat is elected and the ban on
gays in the military is lifted.
Lipstick:I echo Dipstick's war plan. With your
combined backgrounds, don't even try to be
monogamous; otherwise, you might destroy a
perfectly good thing. Like I've always said: Don't
let your pussy become a weapon of mass destruction. Perhaps you could pledge some other sort
of allegiance like: You'll do your best not to sleep
with that sexy neighbor, the one who's always made
her jealous, or that you won't purposefully go out
on Friday looking for a lovah. But be clear-both
you and her-that if you find yourself in a Jacuzzi
full of attractive lesbians, you might not get out.
And likewise, if your corporal ends up alone at the
shooting range with her female captain, she'd best
follow her orders. It's her duty to serve her country
and serve it well.
26
Icurve
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I don't want to be
gay! It's such a hard life. When I was with my
girlfriend, whom I still love very much, I wasn't
entirely happy mainly because I wasn't happy
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Ask Fairy Butch Advice
Sugar Mama Blues
living that life. I wish I could just fall in love
with a man because things would be so much
easier. How do I deal with this? I don't feel
like I'd be happy either way because I'd
always want what I don't have. Did
you ever feel that way? - Unhappy
Toronto Gay Gir1
Lipstick:
Yes, girl, I feel ya. There was
a time that little Lipstick-this out,
proud and loud dyke-wanted to be
straight just like her sorority sisters.
For a while, after I first realized I loved
women years ago, I wanted nothing more
than to feel those same stirrings for men and to
simply dissolve into the straight melting pot. But
no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't run away
from my truth. And neither can you.
Dipstick:
Lip, you did such a good job trying that
sometimes I still think you're straight. The way you
dress!
Lipstick:Oh geez, here we go again. Dipstick,
there's nothing wrong with wearing something
other than Dr. Martens and jeans. Unhappy Girl,
what I'd encourage you to do is try not to freak out
and don't run away any longer. Just relax and take
a breath, it'll take some time to get comfortable in
your new skin. For now, dig deep and focus on loving yourself unconditionally. You have no control
over your sexual orientation; you were born this
way, so why go on beating yourself up? By working
hard on the inside, you'll wear your sexuality as a
badge of honor one day.Trust me.
Dipstick:
Even though I can't relate Unhappy Girl
(I wanted to be gay as soon as I learned it was an
option), I don't think being straight is easier. Just
about every straight chick I know has, at one point
or another, said she wished she were a lesbian. I guess
men are hard to deal with sometimes. Who knew?
I get along with them fine. Straight people have so
many roles and expectations: get married, have 2.5
kids, buy a house, vacation in Maine. Boring! Being
gay may be harder because we have to pave our own
path, but I wouldn't trade the freedom for anything.
Ultimately, trying to be something you're not is the
most difficult path of all!
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Ask us anything about sex, loveor lesbiansat lipstick
dipstick.com.
Dear Fairy Butch: First
off, this is my first time
reading your article
and I must say, you
give good advice.
Your column is
not only touching and true to
the heart, but
it is very entertaining. OK, I am
in my first lesbian
relationship and I
have some questions
and concerns. My girlfriend is 19, and I am 20. During her last
relationship, her mate practically took
total care of her, and she has gotten so
comfortable that she now doesn't have
a job. We live together and have been
together for a year. I tell her every morning
to go and get a job and she replies, "I've
been going every day." I guess what I am
trying to say is that I love her and I am trying to make this work. But if we are going
to be in a relationship and living together,
somewhere in between there has to be a
middle ground. Do you think I should try
to wait it out just a little longer and see if
she comes through? Or what do you suggest I do? - Waiting in Washington
DearWaiting:Don't wait, Sugar, nothing will
change a bit. Darling, they say that the definition
of crazy is doing the same thing over and over
again and expecting different results. While the
axiom may overstate the case, I think it's certainly apt in this circumstance. I'm telling you here
and now, your girl is going to sit on her pretty
tush, day after day, come hell or high water, good
times and bad and-you can take this bet to the
bank-she will not get a job. So, Cupcake, if you
truly want things to change, here's what you say
to Ms. Gabor:
"Some people can afford (cope with, delight
in, get off on) a partner who doesn't work and
is kept by her lover. I am absolutely not one
of those people. I can't afford (resent, am annoyed with, feel disheartened by the fact) that
you don't work and that you expect me to pay
for everything. I love you, but this will not persist. If you don't have a job in two months, I am,
much to my chagrin, going to have to leave. This
is what you'll have to do for our relationship to
continue. If it is pivotal to you that you not work
for a living, then I'm not the girl for you:'
And mean it.
From the sounds of things, you'd think I was
a tough cookie by nature, Toots, but the truth
is utterly the opposite. My first impulse is most
always to give things another chance and to take
the soft line on love (provided the relationship is
not an abusive one). But I've been in that sort of
I-love-this-chick-so-much-but-there's-this-massive-deal-breaking-way-in-which-she's-not-treating-me-as-she-should-be situation so many more
times than I'd care to admit, Pumpkin, that I
can tell you this: Folks will, most often, get away
with just about as much as you let them. Does
this mean that she's an awful person? Certainly
not, it's a very common way to negotiate one's
They say that the definition of
crazy is doing the same thing
over and over again and expecting different results.
desires while navigating the- sharing of emotional, physical, and financial space with another
person. Dollars to donuts, you've done it before;
I know I have.
So, you have to be firm and be explicit. You
have to set limits. You have to let her know how
things are going to be in this regard and what
will happen if she continues doing what she's
been doing. She may have some unknown issues
with working (or, in fact, she may just prefer not
to) and pushing the subject may enable her to
talk about them. You don't have to alienate her
or be uncaring; tell her that you're there to help
her or to talk about things. And if it comes to it,
I don't think there's anything wrong with giving
her a nudge. I was in the exact same situation
some time ago, and finally, after a year of pleading, cajoling and coercing, swathed in want ads
from head to toe, I took my girl to the local Pizza
Hut and told her to go in and make the acquaintance of her new boss. True story, my dear, and
she did that very thing. Best of luck.
E-mail Jb@fairybutch.com with your queries
regardinglesbianlife,sexualityand romance.
October 2007
I 27
Advice
Astro Grrl
Fall--ingin Love?
Librashave
the oomph
to push
throughand
triumphin
corporate
arenas,
if that's
the plan.
Libra {Sept. 24-0ct. 23)
Sex:You are the apple of her eye this October. Heck, you are her
entire pie! Do you feel the same hunger? If so, invite her over
Libras have the oomph to push through and
for dinner. Career:
triumph in corporate arenas, if that's the plan. Another, perhaps
better plan? Try it on your own.
Scorpio {Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Sex:Love and hot sex can be found at work. Check out who
is sitting on the Xerox machine and make a good impression.
Career:Scarps become excessively generous. You are tempted
to risk your largess on a certain Ms., so let's hope she is not
Ms.Taken.
Sagittarius {Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Sex:You want to cook with Rosemary, but will she give you the
thyme? Spread your spice over an entire tasting menu of exotic
Your professional path may hit a few potholes
lovelies. Career:
through October. Why not bag your current situation and hitch
a ride in a better-equipped vehicle?
job. When will the powers that be recognize you for the royalty
you are? Keep dreaming sister.
Capricorn {Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
Sex:Girlfriends do not understand you. Are you making sense
or just not listening carefully? You're better off charming those
False starts at work can pile
who don't know you as well. Career:
on the late-night hours.Try to escape for a short vacation if you
can. If not, try to dump it on co-workers.
Gemini {May 22-June 21)
Sex:There is a certain neighbor who is particularly neighborly.
Share a cup of sugar with her. OK, forget the cup. Career:
Professional surprises and their various ups and downs continue in October. Thank goodness you maintain a sense of
proportion!
Aquarius{Jan.21-Feb.19)
Sex:Your lack of grace and flair appear to hold a certain charm
for certain women. But know when enough oil is enough. Try
Try to work hard this
to turn it off and be more genuine. Career:
October. You have the energy to clear off your desk so you can
lazily glide by for the next couple of months.
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
Sex:Crabs make quite an impression with a certain lady. Flirting
will get you anywhere and everywhere. Just be sure you know
Think of creative ways to avoid work
where this is going. Career:
this October. You have too much going on in your assorted
sorted goings-on.
Pisces {Feb. 20-March 20)
Sex: Guppies are not only ready to party with the fast crowd,
they can rock and roll to their own tune. Avoid polkas unless
that is her thing. Career:They love you at work all through
October. I can't understand why.
Aries {March 21-April 20)
Sex:Lambda Rams explore new romantic vistas this October.
Will you prefer the mountains, the valleys or a few select caves?
Hey, whatever turns you on. Career:Tackle the tough assignments now so you can party hearty later. Even better, leave the
work for someone else and party hearty now!
2s
I curve
Taurus {April 21-May 21)
Sex:You are especially love-a-bull this October. And you don't
do badly with the fems either. Spread your joy and don't be
stingy. Career:Sapphic Bulls have dreams of grandeur on the
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Sex: If you can't seduce her with charisma, try it with champagne and lavish gifts. If she can't be bought she's not worth the
angst. Career:Don't try to work from home this October. You
are distracted with time wasters. Well, not everything she does
is a complete waste of time.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Sex:Gal pals try to fix you up with a mystery lass. Give yourself a makeover to prepare. Will you be an open book or just
another earmarked page in her diary? Career:Finances fall into
place early in the month but later your heart will rule your wallet. Ah, what a way to
For more advice from the stars, visit our astrologer,Charlene
Lichtenstein, online at thestarryeye.com.
I call this position
•
"U pwa rd-Facing
Pita Chip:'
Advice
Relationships
Coming Out to Your Parents
Try these essential strategies when outing yoursel£
Whether your parents are conservative, Bible
thumpers (like, say, the vice president of the
United States) or ultraliberal, planet huggers
(like, say, the previous vice president of the United
States), coming out is never easy. For many of us,
living quietly within the confines of the mothballinfested closet is like being trapped in one of those
space-bags of winter clothes; we're deflated with
the life sucked out of us, waiting for a better time
and hoping for more seasonable weather to open
up into freedom.
It is difficult to find the courage to tell people
close to you that you are someone other than who
they may think. No one embraces the idea of letting parents down by not fulfilling their expectations that popped out the womb with us at birth.
Bundled up with you in your receiving blankie, like
it or not, were the expectations that you'd meet a
man, have your parents' grandbabies and a giant
wedding of bankrupting proportions. (Hopefully,
not in that order.)
The fear of coming out is no less pervasive
than the fear of the unknown and the fear of rejection. You cannot anticipate fully what they will say
and-in a worst-case scenario-they could turn
their backs on you forever. This unwanted possibility puts a great deal of inherent pressure on one
statement: "Mom, Dad, I'm a lesbian:'
Here are a few strategies to make this difficult
conversation a little easier.
1. Timeand placeare important.
This is not a
conversation that you want to have in the pews
during your little nephew's Christening or on
Christmas morning, as packages of joy are being opened. (Though when you open your sixth
copy of The Rules for Getting a Husband, you may
feel like screaming the news loud enough to wake
the Grinch.) Coming out at the Thanksgiving
meal also is not the best plan. There are carving
knives and way too much wine flowing to make
this an easy transition. It is not suggested that
you try to slip the coming-out into the pre-eating prayer such as "Dear God, thank you for this
food and the little-known fact that many of the
women Pilgrims were lesbians who created this
pot-luckish holiday tradition with their American
Indian female lovers just as flamboyantly lesbian
and happy as my girlfriend, Suzy, and I now are:'
Holidays are stressful enough without adding the
30 I curve
I By Kate Lacey
Suggesta game of Pictionaryand draw yourconfession.
Or playScrabble,spellingout wordslike"dyke,""gay,"
"lesbian"and "Ellen."They'llget it eventually.
weight of this disclosure to the tension.
The best place to have this conversation is in
your parents' house. This way, you can leave when
you need to. As for when to come out, the prime
"outing'' season falls prior to October, although
Halloween might not be a good time to have the
conversation, as your folks may think you're just
trying to scare them. "Sure, sure;' they'll say,'J\.nd
you're also really Xena Warrior Princess like your
costume:' Also avoid April 1, as your parents will
never believe you.
The holidays are already exercises in forced
familial togetherness, and often, the holiday gettogether is the first time that they get to lay eyes on
your new girlfriend. You'll want to give them ample
time between your bombshell and the holiday
function, so that they can get used to the idea. This
may avoid a potentially uncomfortable situation
wherein your partner spends the holiday evening
on the receiving end of your mother's evil eye.
2.Communication
iskey.Understanding who your
parents are and how they communicate (or don't)
will give you solid preparation. You've known
these people your entire life. If dad is a hothead,
you should expect fireworks. Prepare yourself for
it. Bring earplugs for his screaming and have a prepared exit strategy. This conversation will not be
a Heathcliff Huxtable kind of moment. He's not
going to change his stripes and suddenly be nurturing and understanding. He'll blow his top, but
he'll eventually get over it.
Communicate in a way they are used to. If
your folks are not much for talking beyond small
talk, hosting a game night can be a fabulously
nonthreatening avenue for coming out. Suggest a
game of Pictionary and draw your confession. Be
careful what you draw. It could make things a little
too graphic for comfort. Or play Scrabble, spelling
out words like "dyke;' "gay;' "lesbian'' and "Ellen:'
They'll get it eventually.
If communication just doesn't happen in your
familial unit, tape a copy of this article onto their
front door. Write, "This is me, I'm gay;' in the
margins and leave it there for them to read in
their own time. They'll never acknowledge this
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admittance on your part, but, at least, you'll know
that they know.
If your folks are more of the 'Tm disappointed
in you" type, then you may see some waterworks.
Remember, however, it's not your sexuality that
they are crying about. It's their sense of loss of the
expectations that came with you when they had
a baby girl. You may need to allow some griev,
ing time, which is sometimes harder than facing
a screaming, red,faced tantrum. When the tears
have finally dried, they'll come to realize they
haven't lost anything at all.
3. Divideandconquer.
Here is a strategy you may
have employed a great deal in your childhood.
When it comes to difficult conversations, such as
"Can I keep this stray dog?" or "Can I borrow the
car to go to a college party even though I'm just
16?;' the best approach is to divide and conquer
the folks. You approach the easier one first and get
approval, then employ that alliance to get to the
other, more,diflicult parent to acquiesce.
You may be surprised-and
it's quite com,
mon-that at least one of your parents, or even
a sibling, will coolly note that they knew you were
gay all along and will ask what took you so long to
come out. Now you've got an ally, as you must face
the other parent. This person can serve as an excel,
lent defuser of the situation's tension.
Even if the first parent you tell is not so accept,
ing, you can still find strength and empowerment
in getting through the conversation the first time.
Facing the other parent, knowing that someone
else in the room already knows your secret, can
take some of the pressure off the situation.
Sure, it's a bit on the chicken side, to say,'Tm
glad you understand. Umm, can you break the
news to mom for me?'' But it beats having a Jerry
Springer moment when you can avoid it.
4. Someeducation
is required.
Be ready for stupid
questions. They can't help it. Everything they know
about being gay they learned from unrealistic talk
shows and Will & Grace.They may want to know
if your girlfriend "brainwashed you" or if you' re
just lonely, unable to find a man. They'll say it's just
a stage and that you'll grow out of it. You'll have to
patiently debunk these notions which allow them
to rationalize and minimize your lifestyle. You'll
have to talk to them about being born this way, if
you believe that, or about making choices that feel
right for who you have always been. It may take
awhile for them to get it. But time will become
your ally in this regard. Be patient and do not lose
your temper or your sense of humor.
They may ask insulting, inane questions
like, "Who's the boy?" And you'll have to try to
patiently explain gender dynamics to them. Or you
could go for the easy out (pardon the pun) and say,
"She is the boy:' Or they may ask, "What did we
do wrong?" in which case you should assure them
that there was nothing they could do to change
this. When they insist on something, tell them it
was that they never gave you the pony you wanted,
just to give them something to hold onto. Some
folks need that to move on. (It's as relevant as the
fact that they let you play with GI Joe and pitch in
the boy's little league.)
You may have to re,educate them regarding
stereotypes that they have, as you may be the
first 'gay" they've ever really talked to. They may
be surprised to find out that not all lesbians are
man,haters who won't eat meat and were sexually
abused as children. You'll likely have to remind
them that you're still the same person that they
loved and supported yesterday and that whom
you sleep with and live with does not change who
you are, at heart the same good person that they
raised. You'll likely have to remind them that you
can still have a wedding that they'll have to pay for,
grandchildren that they'll have to baby,sit, and a
house in the suburbs that they'll have to co,sign
for. But the better news is that your girlfriend can
tune up their car and still make a mean pot roast at
the same time. They may find that your partner is
more personable and well,rounded than any guy
you could have brought home.
They may try to educate themselves, but be
prepared for the worse in this regard. They will go
to their pastor or priest, to bad reality,TV shows
and to Blockbuster to rent the entire series of The
L Word. Then, you'll have a lot of explaining and
re,educating to do. Be patient with them and have
a therapist on standby for an emergency counsel,
ing session to attempt to explain that just because
a character on the show decides to go back to men,
does not mean that you will or that it is com,
•mon among lesbians. And, well, explaining The L
Word's Max/Moira is light years away.
Coming Out to Your Parents continued on page 76
October 2007
I31
Dyke Drama
Michele Fisher
Is Your Dramamobile a Two-Seater?
So your sex life is boring, and you are thinking of having an affair.
I was never so happy to be the third wheel in my life. I guess they had been
having some problems in the bedroom. I suppose that is why they came to
the club that night looking for someone to bring home. All I knew was that
two reasonably attractive women were corning on to me. I had gone out that
night in search of someone to roll around with for a few hours, and I had hit
the jackpot with two women at once! When they asked me to go back to their
hotel with them, I almost forgot my coat.
I can't say that it wasn't fun. It was funtastic. But when it was time to go, it
was time to go. I took my cue when one of them sat up and whispered over my
chest to her lover,"I hope you got what you wanted out of this:' Nothing gets
me out of bed like the scent of percolating drama. I was hoping for an early,
morning quickie, but I settled for getting out before the fur started flying. I
never regretted the experience, but I had the feeling that they were going to.
Have you and your lover stopped talking about your lacking sex life? You
used to discuss it, but now you just accept the fact that you are becoming
roommates who know each others' PIN numbers. You can't go on like this
forever. You two have thought about couples' therapy but agree that it is just
a really expensive way to break up.
Don't have an affair. Don't act like it hasn't crossed your mind, and
don't think that it hasn't popped into your partner's head, either. I know it
is inconceivable to you that your wife could consider having relations with
anybody but you, but you are not the only one with needs in this relationship,
you know. (Given how annoying it was to read that sentence, do you really
want to have to hear it from a woman's lips?)
Lesbians often have affairs so that they can end a relationship. I don't know
why we think it is better to do something really mean and stupid before we
end it with a woman, but that seems to be an accepted practice. I guess we
believe that having a reason, meaning another woman, is better than telling a
woman that you're leaving her just because you're not happy. Huh? Woman up
already! Do everybody a favor. If you need to break up with her, go ahead and
do it. Yes, she is going to hate you. People who get dumped are supposed to
hate the people who dump them. It is the natural order of things.
But maybe you and your honey have already decided that you want to stay
together and you both have promised to be faithful to one another even if it
means a lackluster love life. Of course, you both hope that you are not doomed
to a sexless fate.
One day, one of you will hit upon the idea of bringing another woman, or
two, into the bedroom as a cure for what ails. Maybe you can see other people
... together.
The shopping stage is fun. In fact, you might be wise to stop this whole
adventure at the shopping stage. You and your lady
can spend hours of quality time together looking for
that special someone or couple or orgy. Instead of
talking about what is wrong all the time and worrying
about what is going to happen, you two can look for
what is right and exciting for you. Surf the 'Net, buy
toys, rent some porn and you might be surprised how
much desire you still have for one another. Exploit
this opportunity to solve your problems on your own.
Really, you might want to stop short of making your
twosome into a threesome or a conga line.
But if you two are married to the idea of seeing
this thing through and seeing other people naked,
then at least do it out of town, way out of town.
Do you really think you two can go out and bor,
row a cup of booty from the dykes down the block
and then go on like nothing happened? That is not
what they mean by "neighborhood watch:' It doesn't
matter how strong you think your friendship is, it
isn't strong enough to withstand an evening of swing,
ing. A good neighbor is harder to find than a good
screw, and the benefits are certainly more enduring,
so buy a couple of plane tickets.
Stay away from professional swingers. Why?
Because they are weird and unattractive. I don't know
why swingers aren't better looking, they just aren't.
Don't you watch HBO? And if they are not ugly,then
they will be crazy or criminal, so don't wear the good
jewelry to the ho' down.
Stick with other armatures like yourselves. Wear
32
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wigs, even during sex (you might discover a new fetish), and always use aliases
so if you do end up on YouTube you have plausible deniability.
Before you embark upon your sexploit, remember that it is impossible for
one person to pay the exact same amount of attention to two people at once.
Before you hit the sheets, know that somebody is going to get their feelings
hurt. There is no Even Steven in sex. Somebody is going to get the short end
of the dildo.
You think that it is going to be hot to see somebody else doing your woman,
but are you truly prepared for that sight? What if she is having the time of her
life?Aren't you going to wonder why she never squeals like that at home? What
are you going to do, grab your thong and go blubbering out the front door?
If you two decide to romp with another couple, it is highly likely that you
will find one of the duo more appealing than the other, and that is bound to
come out in obvious ways, such as moaning. Then you will be forced to pay
attention to a woman you don't really want to because you don't want to hurt
her feelings or make her mad enough to leave with the woman you really want
to be with. If you were willing to go through all of that drama, you might as
well have stayed home and tried to have sex with your own wife.
Sure, it could be super sexy to see your wife watching you get down with
another woman, but what if you peek out from between someone else's legs
and see your wife wearing a mask of anger or disgust? Do you really want to
stop what you are doing and check in with her? Talk about bringing the grind~
ing to a halt. If your date( s) came from an Internet connection, prepare for
some bad "feedback" next time you log in.
Instead, you two might consider a sex club. The major drawback to that is
you must have some voyeuristic tendencies or learn to live with those tenden~
cies in other patrons to enjoy your sex club experience. As a person who be~
comes embarrassed getting dressed in front of the family pet and experiences
stage fright when my number is called out at the bakery, I was never able to get
into the whole sex club thing.
Even if your sexcapade is a success and you and your lover reawaken your
sexual desires, who is to say they will run toward each other? You two may
indeed discover that you are sexual beings who need the touch of another
but not each other. Now your little adventure turns into a roller coaster ride
straight to hell!
Yes, some might say it is better to know than not to know, but they are
obviously gluttons for punishment.
Are you and your gal going to be satisfied with just one close encounter,
or will this adventure serve to whet your freaky appetites? What if once was
plenty for you, but group sex was like Lay's potato chips to your girl?
All this is going to lead to talking about boundaries and rules and ana~
lyzing. Yuck. Nothing ruins sex, crushes, and desire like talking about it.
Thirty hours into the "discussion'' about what happened will put you off sex
for life.
By now you have surmised that I am not an impartial observer on this sub~
ject. I have yet to see swinging solvea couple'ssexual problems. Throwing another
person into a sex life that isn't working is like driving a nail into a flat tire.
But if you don't believe me, at least invest in the wigs.
October 2007
I33
Politics
VictoriaA. Brownworth
Are We ReallyReadyfor Hillary?
Fantasies come and fantasies go, but reality always bites.
I was going to write about travel for this issue. I had some things I wanted to
say about women and borders and the freedom to move from place to place
safely.It would have been pithy and political, as I strive to be.
Then I read yet another piece trashing Sen. Hillary Clinton, by a wellknown woman writer who calls herself a feminist, and, well, I just had to
make some statements of my own.
It's been a rough few months for women
on the campaign trail.
Back at the end of June, Elizabeth
Edwards had a dust-up with the always
despicable Ann Coulter, the poster "girl"for
right-wing fanaticism in America. Edwards
wanted Coulter to stop calling her husband,
presidential contender and former Senator
John Edwards, a faggot and to just generally
stop being so vile.
Coulter, known for other shocking
comments, like calling the 9 / 11 widows
"harpies" who were "glad their husbands
died;' naturally, refused to raise her game.
While checking for Coulter's quotes
about Hillary, I found something far more
interesting-the
following query at yahooanswers.com: "If Hillary Clinton had
looked like Ann Coulter instead of herself,
would you still hate her?"
This is the crux of the issue in Hillary
Clinton's run for president. She's not just a
candidate, but the front-runner among both
Democrats and Republicans -no candidate comes close to her poll numbers
-not Barack Obama or John Edwards in her own party, not Fred Thompson
or Rudy Giuliani among the Republicans. So Hillary's not a fringe candidate,
like previous women who have run for president. She has to be taken seriously by everyone, men and women, conservative and liberal.
And therein lies the problem: Is Hillary Clinton too much of a real woman and not enough of a fake one to be "electable'' in an America where real
women are still very much second-class citizens? Hillary Clinton isn't Paris
Hilton. She doesn't do Botox, she doesn't have hair extensions, she hasn't had
liposuction.
She's a middle-aged woman with wrinkles and big hips and, according to
Ann Coulter, has "fat legs" that must be hidden beneath pant suits.
Barack Obama's ears stick out. Bill Richardson is fat. Dennis Kucinich
looks a bit like a Martian. But those facts aren't even the stuff of late-night,
talk-show comedians.
Yet when people discuss Hillary, they don't talk about how smart she is, or
that she's won all of the debates so far, including the one at Howard University
where it was her oration that brought the house down. They don't discuss her
wide-ranging interests, her many policy initiatives, the fact that her constituents love her. They don't discuss her trip to China as a feminist emissary. They
don't discuss her books. They don't discuss her work for charity. They don't
t
34
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discuss how she won two senatorial elections in landslide victories.
What they discuss is her looks and her personality.
Which is why I think we aren't nearly ready to elect a woman president.
In May 2007, France came close to voting in its first woman president,
Segolene Royal, an LGBT supporter who had been living with her male lover
for 20 years and had several children out
of wedlock with him. She lost, but not by
much; she got 4 7 percent of the vote.
Liberia elected its first woman president, Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, in January
2006.
Germany voted in its first woman
chancellor, Angela Merkel, in November
2005.
Pakistan became the first Muslim
state to elect a woman in 1988 when
Benazir Bhutto won the presidency. The
Philippines voted in their first woman
president, Corazon Aquino, in 1986. The
U.K. voted in its first woman prime minister, Margaret Thatcher, in 1979. Israel
elected Golda Meir in 1969. India elected
Indira Gandhi in 1966.
There have been others, but you get
the point. Even China had Mrs. Mao.
But here's where people, as many
women as men, start clearing their throats
and shuffling their feet and looking off
into the middle distance. "Well, if it were
anyone but Hillary;' they say.
Why? And more importantly, who?
Anna Quindlen wrote in Newsweekthat she had thought the first woman
president would "turn the whole lousy system upside down and inside out:'
Fantasies come and fantasies go, but reality always bites.
Isn't that the problem with Hillary? She's all reality and no fantasy? We
know her, we came of political age with her. Hillary's the woman with the
degrees and the acumen who refused to take a back seat as First Lady, taking
Eleanor Roosevelt for her role model.
But Hillary was also-her tear-stained face covered in big sunglassesthe woman who weathered her husband's very public affair with a much
younger woman. (Eleanor did that too, but there was no Internet or TV in
those days.) Hillary withstood the many late-night jokes that it was her sexual frigidity that made Bill look elsewhere for fun.
We know a lot about Hillary. We know that she likes chocolate and that
she loves the man she fell in love with decades ago, no matter how bad a
boy he is. We know she is fiercely protective of her own daughter and of all
children because we saw how she was with Chelsea and we read her book, It
Takes a Village.
But here's the most important thing that we know about Hillary Clinton,
and that we just keep refusing to acknowledge. Hillary Clinton is tough as
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nails. She's taken on the "vast right-wing conspiracy"-and which we now
have all been victimized by-and she's held their collective and arrogant feet
to the fire. Hillary knows something the other Democratic candidates have
yet to discover: Trial by fire toughens you up. Once you've had to run the
kind of gauntlets Hillary Clinton had to run when Bill was president, you
can take on anything.
Which is why she wins the debates-because she doesn't allow the moderators to set the agenda. She sets the agenda. She reminds everyone that
it was Bush, not the Democrats, who led the country to war based on lies.
most common violent crimes in America, where more women graduate from
college but fewer get good jobs than men, where little girls think they might
like Hillary better if she looked like Ann Coulter or Paris Hilton instead of
somebody's mother.
Those who think Hillary Clinton isn't a feminist, think again. Her campaign is the only one in American history run by women because she thinks
women are smart enough and savvy enough to run things. Think she won't
make important changes for women as president:' She already has just by
being the leading candidate and trouncing all her opponents-every one of
them men.
I've spent nearly eight years living under the regime
of a criminally stupid man who had a C average in college and failed at every job he had before he became
president based on his father's legacy, not his own.
There are those who say Hillary is running on her
husband's name, but the fact is, she's running on her own
merits. She never had a C average in her life. She never
failed at anything before running for president. She is the only woman in
American history to get where she is, and instead of being proud of her, we
can't find enough mud to sling at her.
The overarching question of Hillary Clinton's candidacy should not be,
does Hillary have an image problem, but rather, does America have a problem
with the image of a woman running.the country:' That answer will reflect on
us, in the end, not on Hillary Clinton.
Here'sthe most importantthingthat we know
about HillaryClinton.She is toughas nails.Hillary
knowssomethingthe other Democraticcandidates
haveyet to discover:Trialby firetoughensyou up.
She reminds everyone that if it were whites, not blacks, for who AIDS was
the leading cause of death, there would be a nationwide outcry. She reminds
every woman in America that there was a time when women couldn't wear
the pants, because it was illegal to do so.
Do I wish Hillary was more left, more outrageous, more of a fantasy and
less of a reality:' Of course. But I live in the real world where real women
still make only two-thirds of what men make, where rape is still one of the
October 2007
I35
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people and finding out where and what that culture is. That
to me is tremendouslyfulfillingand exciting.
Yeah,to me the most exciting part of being queer is really discovering all the different definitions of who we are and really looking at it. I chink the transgender community bas
been a very quiet section of the GLBT, like it's not quiet but
the invisible part .... The visibility,I chink, is really impor~
rant because then it really helps people who feel that way
come otit and feel comfortable about it and so people like
the Cliks' Lucas Silveira and [comic] Ian Harvie are such
important artists because they're really paving the way of
all things queer and they're really trailblazers in gender and
identity, and thats a really exciting thing.
Yeah.And it's funny how it's made me more femme. Because I
want to dearly define myself against all these, to position my
identity within all these different trans people.LikeI feel my
own femme tendencies even more.
They're so crushy, crush, crush, crush. I also have a huge crush
on Michelle Rodriguez. She's so beautiful, let's see, who else
is good? I also love James, James McAvoy,he was the guy
that was in TI,cLast Kingof Stotland.He reallylooked like
a trans guy.
[Laughs.]No I don't think so. I would stay in that gold thing.
Never.No. She'sso hoc.I lovehow she'schopping wood. She's
so butch. I loveJane Lyru:hand·I've knownher fur a really _
long time.... We used to do shows together at Highways
years
and years ago. I've been a fan foreverand she'sso hilarious.
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Two real-life divas-and life partnerstake stage at Lincoln Center
in New York City this month.
ments in our one-bedroom Manhattan apartment;' says Clayton.
Though neither performer was ever closeted personally or professionally,
coming out in print was a coming out of a different sort. Racette was slated for
a cover story interview for the June 2002 issue of Opera News when at the last
minute, writer Eric Myers asked if she wanted to go public about her relationship with Clayton. "We had talked about it for some time;' says Racette, "and
decided it was time to do it:' Both agree that every lesbian must do her part
to break down barriers and challenge homophobia wherever it exists. While
opera has always attracted gay performers and fans, the local folks at regional
performance spaces perhaps did not know about the Racette-Clayton coupling until after the media attention regarding their sexuality exploded. But
both report little repercussion from that article. Says Racette: "We heard that
the publication received a few negative letters, but by and large our experience
since has been very positive:'
Clayton points out, "When you tell an American you are an opera singer,
their response is 'Wow' and they already have a positive image of us. A few
minutes later it comes out in conversation that we are lesbians, it doesn't matter because we'vejust made an initial positive impact. Although we hate that
we have to do it in that particular fashion, it is one way of using our public
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It's the stuff oflyrics and librettos, the story of how two American opera stars,
soprano Patricia Racette and mezzo-soprano Beth Clayton, met. It goes like
this: In 1997, both were at the Santa Fe Opera rehearsing La Traviata. Their
worlds collided and their romance and courtship were as hot as the mid summer New Mexico sun. As Racette has famously been quoted, "It was the first
time Violetta ever went home with Flora:'
Cut to October 2007: The couple has been together 10 years, was married
at their home in Santa Fe in 2005 and is happier now and more successful
than ever in their own careers. Speaking from the Tanglewood Music Festival
in Massachusetts, where Racette was rehearsing for Don Carlo and Clayton
had just flown in from a production of Orlando in Munich to be by her partner's side, they both took time to speak with CURVE about the uncanny
occurrence of both women performing at Lincoln Center this month.
Clayton, 38, will lead the production of Carmen at the New York City
Opera (Oct. 5-Nov. 17: nycopera.com) while Racette, 42, will headline in
Madama Butterfly (Oct. 8-27: metoperafamily.org). "It's total girl power on
Lincoln Square. A real first-two partners singing on the Plaza at the same
time;' exclaims Racette's manager Caroline Woodfield. It's a rare coincidence
indeed and one that involves each singer's core repertoire. "It's basically the
meat and potatoes of both our careers, and we both die at the end of the
night;' laughs Racette .
The last and only time Clayton and Racette were together at Lincoln
Plaza was in 2005 singing"Flower Duet" at the True Colors gay pride party
hosted by famous writer, actor and drag queen Charles Busch. This time will
be quite different. They will be engaged in exhausting runs of two of the best
known operas in the world that will challenge them both professionally and
personally. "We have several days where we have back-to-back performances.
It will be very interesting logistically to work out sleeping and resting arrange-
personas in a very useful manner for our community. Especially in a time of
the escalating Right, our sensitivity is heightened and our lesbian perspective allows our minds to be more open, meaning we're more inclusive in our
thinking because we still live what is considered an 'alternative lifestyle:" Adds
Racette, "Especially under the current administration where ·wehave no legal
rights or recognition for our marriage, no validation for our relationship, it's
important to us to use whatever public power we posses in a way that benefits
our community:'
Laughing together, the couple encourages and supports each other's statements. When asked to describe their personal style, Racette claims "visceral"
while Clayton lovingly scolds that she herself just used the same word to describe performing live before an audience. ''I'd say Pat is intense;' says Clayton
while Racette is quick to chime in that"Beth's elegance is her signature:' Both
concur that opera is "demanding both emotionally and physically and requires
much inner strength and resolve:'
'J\.lthough many operas were written hundreds of years ago, they are the
stuff of poetry, literature and music, with everyday themes of love, lust, greed
and hatred that are timeless. However, continues Racette, "society's ideals of
women have since changed:' For example, as an actor she portrays Cio-CioSan as a strong woman who goes against the mores of her day rather than as
the weak, subservient stereotype of Asian women that some choose to believe
Butterfly represents.
At their home in Santa Fe, N.M. where, Clayton is quick to point out,
there are the most lesbians per capita in the U.S.; the couple happily "hibernates" between performances, some of which are booked through 2012. They
relax together with apricot toy poodle Sappho who, both agree is "the biggest
lady in the house, a total diva with a huge personality;' Clayton says.'J\ft:er all,
she's been around for 8-1/2
October 2007
I41
••••••••
....
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NEW ADVENTURES
paradise
losta
found
Fromairlinedelaysto ridingthe
waves-two girlsventureto Hawaii
By Gillian Kendall
The plan for our trip to paradise seemed infallible. My partner
and I, heading home to Australia from North America, were
stopping to luxuriate for five nights at a resort chat routinely
wins prizes for most beautiful view on Oahu. We wanted,
needed and deserved this.
We had separate flights from Canada, but both were supposed to land in Honolulu on Friday evening. Over breakfast
in Vancouver, I grilled Nicole. "Tell me the plan;' I said, making
her put down her newspaper.
"What plan?'' she asked. We had discussed the plan the
night before but, as I'd suspected, she had no memory of it.
''The plan for meeting at the airport;' I said._
"Oh, easy. You'll meet my plane:' She returned to perusing
the arts section.
I persisted, knowing chat flights to Hawaii from the main-
42
I curve
land often went awry. "And if I'm not there:>Then you'll go to
the rental car place, right:>"
"Right," she said, serenely buttering her coast and not
paying attention.
"What if I'm not there, either?" I prodded.
"Then it means your plane is late, and I'll come and meet
you:' My beloved resumed eating in a manner chat suggested the
conversation was over.
Unfortunately, my flight from Los Angeles was delayed 24
hours, and I had no way to contact Nicole. Our Australian cell
phones weren't working, and worse, she had no place to stay.
Every hotel, motel and B&B on Oahu was completely booked
because of a) a U2 concert, b) the annual marathon, and c) the
Pipeline Classic surfing contest.
Nicole arrived on Friday night and was told by airline representatives-who
should have known better-chat
I'd be
arriving on the next flight from L.A. And the next. And the
next. She spent 18 hours meeting flights that I was not on. She
finally gave up and spent her second night in paradise scrunched
in the back seat of a rental Jeep.
When I finally reached the resort at midnight on Saturday,
I rushed to the room. Inserting the key card, I called 'J\loha!;'
ready to ravish Nicole and interrogate her: Where had she
been? Coconut macaroons reseed on the pillows, but there was
no Nicole. No note from Nicole. No Nicole's stuff.
I didn't know whether she'd found a beach to sleep on or if
she'd run off one of the scenic cliff roads in her distress. Was she
sleeping calmly by the waves or has she been crushed at the bottom of a ravine?
In Oahu, the police form for reporting a missing person
gives you three options for gender; you can identify your missing friend as "male;' "female" or "transvestite:' Although Nicole
does wear men's clothing, I securely checked "female" and gave
details to help the detectives find her: hazel eyed, auburn haired,
stocky, Australian butch, precious and, most of all, lost. And I
left out any mention of her surgery scars. If they found those, it
would mean she was in a morgue.
Sunday morning, as I was contemplating how to call her
father and say that I'd misplaced his oldest child, Nicole turned
up. "Thank God you're all right!" I said, embracing her. In unison we demanded, "Where have you been?" After hours of talking, touching and sleeping, we felt reunited and refreshed enough
to explore paradise for our remaining three days.
We first hit the Turtle Bay Resort, the only resort on the
North Shore, is 880 acres spread over an astonishing knife-tip
peninsula. One side offers wild waves for serious surfing, and
on the other lies a sandy, shallow beach. Two pro-designed golf
courses and an elaborate spa make it parent-friendly; while adults
indulge, kids can run from slide to pool to beach, wild and safe
at the same time. But a few acres away, honeymooners and other
hedonists can easily find secluded coves to get cozy in.
Nicole and I held hands, more from fear of separation than
a determined show of pride; after our two-day ordeal, neither
of us would let the other out of sight. The resort alone is big
enough to get lost in, and the island is known for, well, ABC's
hit Lost, which is filmed locally in jungles and on beaches.
It astonishes me that the majority of visitors to Oahu never
make it out of Honolulu. Most stay in Waikiki or hop off to
Maui and the Big Island on pricey inter-island flights. But the
two-hour drive to the North Shore takes one into equally exotic
scenery, as different from Honolulu as any of the other islands
are. With no major cities, a few small towns and only onecount it, one-resort, the North Shore is quieter, safer, cleaner
and less expensive than the south.
The two-lane Kamehameha highway winds through mountains and along the shoreline, taking you from waterfront to
waterfall through colorful surf towns. Lanikai's eye-candy cliffs
shelter homes of Hollywood celebrities, including many from
Lost, and the beach that Conde Nast Traveler calls the best in
the world. Novices can kayak out to the two hill-island "mokes"
for private sunbathing, while landlubbers can lounge on the
quicksilver beaches or hike the golf course green hills way
above the Pacific.
North Shore dinner options range from the exquisite, surfside Ola-winner of several awards for best new restaurant on
Oahu, it features Hawaiian cuisine prepared with local produce-to fantastic, freewheeling, free-market "shrimp trucks"
that serve up steaming plates of just-caught giant shrimp, Asian
rice and corn for about $12.
North Shore snorkeling is modest by Hawaiian standards,
but you can still find exciting sea life. Nie and I spent hours
trailing behind a graceful green sea turtle, which was as accepting of us as we were amazed by it.
What it lacks in colorful corals, the North Shore makes up
for with surf culture. My bumper sticker proclaiming "I survived North Shore" is the envy of every surfer Down Under.
While the international pros competing in the Pipeline Classic
zoomed down the steep cliffs of water, I joined two other beginners for our first surflesson in a cove where the waves were more
like ripples. The Hans Hedemann Surf School blessed us with
long, lean Ash as our instructor; he seemed an ideal potential
sperm donor as well as Zen surf master.
On a board on the sand, before we got wet, Ash demonstrated the four simple steps that would take us from thrashing
about in the water to standing up and gliding to the beach in
glory. The first step was moving from a flat position to kneeling.
The second was kneeling on one knee. I was leaning forward
to watch everything Ash did, nearly bursting my wetsuit with
anxiety to memorize his moves. "Don't look at me like that;' he
warned. "This is only steps one and two!" I tried to relax, but
steps three and four were tricky dance maneuvers, exhausting
to perform even on the sand. Once in the water, I'd be lucky to
get up on my knees.
Ash pushed me onto my first wave and shouted encouragement as I executed steps one and two. But then, instead of
shifring my weight to my rear foot and squatting (step three),
I spectacularly fell off. My board went shoreward and I hit the
bottom, but the springy plastic tether boinged me-and my
ride-back to the surface in the crashing, shallow surt.
Ash waited, bobbing on the waves, while I made the long,
tiring paddle back out. "Nice try;' he lied, and made me highfive him. "You know, some people do better going directly up to
their feet;' he said. "Skip step two:•
"Skip step twof' What do you mean?" I asked. "Never mind;'
Ash said. "Here's a cute wave; just do it:' He shoved me onto
the break, and I felt the hydraulic power lifting the board. It's
energy seemed to carry me up through steps one, two, whatever.
I was standing up! Surfing!
For a good two seconds before I hit the wash, I felt
triumphant.
My girlfriend didn't get any photos of me standing, but then,
she had a very small window of opportunity. Her images show
me as I spent most of that morning: paddling out, kneeling up,
falling down. Still, I got to my feet on four waves, and collectively those were the best 10 seconds of my life. Despite the lost
days of vacation and the girlfriend missing in action, there was
exhilaration and glory. Paradise found.
Nicoleand I
held hands,
morefrom
fear of
separation
than a
determined
showof
pride.After
our twoday ordeal,
neitherof us
wouldlet the
otherout
of sight.
October 2007
I43
a tripfitfora queen
Get a tasteof the good lifein Victoria,BritishColumbia.
By Karen Loftus
44 I curve
I tend to bring a bit of ambition on trips. With so little time
and so much to see, I'm often running around a city, making
sure I fit it all in. Years ago, my friend Fay and I were racing
through the streets of Edinburgh with nary a look at the incredible views. With a schedule of five shows per day, we were trying to catch our next act. Like true New Yorkers we walked,
heads down, hoof to heel, and we were panting when we arrived.
As we locked eyes, we recognized the need to achieve in each
other. Caught off guard by our own ridiculousness, we bent
over howling with laughter in spite of ourselves. It was the best
entertainment of the day.
Last summer, flyingback from Berlin, I sat next to a documentary filmmaker, behind his well-heeled parents, who appeared
posh and privileged from a distance. I was finally relaxing after a
week of hard-core sightseeing, ordering my second glass of port
for all the flight to see, puffed up and proud of my newfound decadence. He recalled their leisurely vacay,"There was none of that
cultural BS. It was a real vacation with lazy days on the beach
with lots of reading and the best meals imaginable. What about
yout More embarrassed than accomplished, I stuffed aside my
many brochures, my global trophies, and said, "Same:•
This time, my plan for Victoria was not to have one. Once
known for the newlyweds and nearly dead, it's now a chill destination spot for those who want to kick back or kick it up a notch
on the culinary front. Prepared for the ultimate in Canadian
comfort, I checked into the Magnolia Hotel and Spa, a classic
hotel in the center of town, steps from the water. I rented a car
but decided at the last minute to leave driving behind, as I realized most of Victoria is best experienced on foot.
There's an unavoidable European-style pub culture on the
island, and so I started at Irish Times, a beautiful building with
great beers, music and an extensive wine list. I had a Mission Hill
pinot and chatted with a guy from the Canadian navy, then went
in search of Spinnaker's, a well-known 'gastropub" where they
offer local food and wines, and brew beers on site. I asked for
directions from Don, an older local. With three hip daughters
in tow, covered in tattoos and piercings, the friendly foursome
walked me across the bridge, had several glasses of wine with me,
and invited me back for homemade wine. That's what I call travel
trust and going with the flow.
::.:::
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Next day, I wandered the streets, hitting LoJo for shop,
ping. Patch, an enormous and well,displayed vintage shop, is
your best bet for one,of,a,kind finds and bargains. Addiction
is the shop for fashion,forward pieces from Canada, the U.S.
and Europe. It's comparable to Fred Segal's and H Lorenzo in
Los Angeles or Scoop in New York, thanks to owner Stefani
Hartwig, who really knows her stuff.
During lunch at Re,Bar Modern Food, a vegetarian restau,
rant, I couldn't help but see the similarity to Seattle: the even
mix of expressive tats and the seemingly conservative who
dress for sports or weather, with a laid,back vibe and an all,are,
welcome attitude. A local named Heather told me there is no
gay neighborhood, as all communities blend together, equally
accepted. That carries over to nightlife, where all intermingle
except at Prism, Victoria's only exclusively LGBT nightclub.
I continued to Fisgard Street, Canada's oldest and perhaps
smallest Chinatown. En route I hit Silk Road, a tea shop with
a spa, tea bar and tastings. Lovely! Fan Tan Alley, off Fisgard, is
the tiniest street in town. I felt like Alice in urban,land, sneak,
ing down the alley with its eclectic shops and a noodle store
serving straight from the kitchen. I picked up an Om necklace at
Triple Spiral, a goddess shop, and scooted around the corner to
Herald Street, touted as the Design District. Josephine's, a must
for Martha Stewart,wannabees or Victorian types, is filled with
everything from pillowcases and furniture to perfume, lingerie
and culinary treats. A feminine heaven.
Victorians, largely Canadians from other parts of Canada,
have sophisticated taste and really champion the little guy, from
shops to restaurants. On every corner is one unique coffee shop
after another. Beans Around the World, Habit and Cafe Mela
are spots that inspire you to write and reflect.
I love when a city leads me. On my way home, I was pulled
down another alley to a Portuguese tapas bar. An older man,
Luis Merino, was seated outside with a decanter of red wine,
cigarettes and a journal; it was a quiet and inspired site. Merino,
one of the city's top artists, asked me to join him. A glass of
wine, and I was good to go.
With a style similar to Picasso, Merino's paintings-all of
sexy and intriguing women, some from his native Mexico-
adorned the tapas bar's wall; others hang in some of the best
restaurants in town. You can't plan an afternoon like that. Just
get out of the way and allow serendipity to come into play.
The next day, Kathy from Travel With Taste took me to local
boutique wineries on the Saanich Peninsula. Starling Winery,
run by three couples, is a slice of heaven with a greenhouse,
great grounds, a tiny dog named Buttons, and five peacocks that
wandered around. The yummy Ortega was a nice end and great
beginning to winemaker Jacqueline's gardening.
Up the road, Winchester Cellars, a certified,organic winery,
served a spicy pinot. The winemaker likes to add a twist, a 5 per,
cent surprise, into the mix of his wines. Perfection! We ended
our early,morning wine tour at the famed Butchart Garden's,
Victoria's Versailles. For lunch, we had a bison burger and potato
bisque soup, paired with local wines, before hitting Bob Marley's
cousin's winery, Marley Farms, known for its fruit wines.
After my day away,I hit the Sapphire Spa for a seaweed body
treatment and Shirodhara, an ancient method for clearing the
mind, which caused a series of prophetic dreams that night. Before
bedtime, I had dinner at Pescatore's, a local institution. I had the
best carpaccio, fresh halibut caught that day, topped with crab.
My final day, I rented a bike and rode along the water for
hours. It brought me back to another time. In the suburbs of
Philly, I would get on my big Schwinn and take off for hours, all
but crossing state lines. That was my first taste of independence
and travel. Coming full circle, I felt independent out of the car,
free from my routine.
I had a late lunch back at Magnolia Hotel at Sanuk
Restaurant, where I had the dreamiest buttered chicken pizza
that I'm still craving. I was so happy. Somebody should have
slapped me.
I called Kathy, my now friend from Travel With Taste, and
asked her to meet me at the newly opened Bon Rouge. The
decadently high,end French bistro is black and white with red
accents, so feminine, so French.
It was a trip fit for a queen, decadent, relaxing and truly deli,
cious from start to finish.
Once known
for the
newlyweds
and nearly
dead;it's
now a chill
destination
spotfor
thosewho
wantto kick
back or
kickit up a
notchon the
culinaryfront.
For more information, visit tourismvictoria.com.
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October 2007
I45
············ +
NEW ADVENTURES
houseswapping
Save moneyand see the woridin the comfortof someoneelse'shome.
By Stephanie Schroeder
Timing and flexibility are hallmarks of successful house swapping. When you
are on a limited vacation schedule, date ranges are the most important consideration. However, if you are a lady of leisure, well, then dates (on a calendar at
least) don't really matter. However, for most of us, paid vacation days are few
and far between. And the dream vacation you have in mind may tum out to
be a heavenly trip somewhere you never dreamed you'd end up.
When I first got the brilliant idea to swap my and my girlfriend's Jersey
City apartment, it was because I could afford a plane ticket but I couldn't
front the cost of lodging or eating every meal at a restaurant. My houseswapping experience began when I decided I just had to write in an olive
grove in Tuscany for my birthday. I checked out farmhouses, villas, apartments, hotels and B&Bs. Weekend to weekend in a Tuscany farmhouse is not
that expensive, but including airfare and dining plus shopping and additional
expenses, it proved astronomical.
The dreamvacationyou havein mindmay
turn out to be a heavenlytrip somewhere
you neverdreamedyou'dend up.
.....................................................
......
House swappers can register-for free in some cases-at any of several Web sites, including lesbian- and gay-specific services like Mi Casa Su
Casa's gayhometrade.com and the Lesbian and Gay Hospitality Exchange
International, at lghei.org. But good ol' Craigslist.org is my destination of
choice for pretty much all shopping. I met my girl there, found and furnished
our apartment, and even secured my job through Craigslist.
I cruised the house-swap section and while I thought I wanted to visit
Paris and sent several messages to potential swappers in the city of lights
whose dates matched ours, it was a spare ad with the h~adline "House in
Old Dutch Town'' that caught my eye. "What town?" I queried the listing's
anonymous poster. "Alkmaar, a historic town 20 minutes from Amsterdam:'
And there were photos attached. Wow, really nice.
So began a dialogue between me and Ken, an illustrator about my father's
age. He sent links to his work, I googled him and found that he was a somewhat famous illustrator who had worked for Grove Press in New York in the
'60s. Very impressive. I returned Ken's reply with photos of our apartment
and placed it within the larger scheme of the city. Ken is a native New Yorker,
so he wasn't afraid of being a bit off the beaten track. In fact, I think he wanted
to steer clear of local relatives in Manhattan. After we agreed on the swap,
we exchanged manifestos of our respective households and 'hoods-kind of
like the Wife Swap "Bibles" the women write for each other on the show-to
familiarize and orient each other with our respective destinations.
We took off for Schiphol Airport one early morning in April, made our
way to Alkmaar on a train from the airport, and then walked, dragging our
luggage behind us as we followed Ken's directions to Hofdijkstraat 3. I turned
the key in the funky, blue-green front door, opening the narrow, inviting
46jcune
Dutch rowhouse. Ken's partner, Dawn, had left us tulips and a bottle of wine.
We looked around and made ourselves comfortable, read all the directions
and centered ourselves on the maps Ken had left for us, then set out for a
cappuccino and some Dutch apple pastry.
We hit the bed after scouting out the town, which was indeed a beautiful, quaint and historical seaside town. We made Alkmaar home for 10 days,
shopping at what were basically top-tier bodegas, green markets, cheese markets and butchers. We drank coffee in the back garden and ate out only once
a day, if that, preferring dinners made from fresh local food and produce. We
cooked on a touchy old stove and washed dishes in a granite sink. We put our
waste in a compost pile out back and took showers in a shower room. We
spent an entire day in Amsterdam with a friend, going to head shops, eating
toasties (grilled cheese served every which way) and touring the Red Light
district, which was sad and pathetic rather than erotic and exciting.
Most Dutch speak English quite well, so language was not too much of a
barrier. We found in Alkmaar and Amsterdam to be perfect places for R&R
from my corporate gig and my girlfriend's teaching job. House swapping
allows for the creature comforts of home, a place to retire at the end of the day
that is more inviting than four square walls and a formal, sterile environment.
And you usually get a fully equipped place stocked with kitchen supplies and
appliances, a TV, a CD player, linens and whatever else you can imagine .
The day of our departure, our friend from Amsterdam picked us up and
treated us to a boat tour of the city's canal system. We ate pancakes-which
in Holland are one delicious giant thick doughy pie-then he dropped us at
Schiphol for our return trip home.
We had such a fabulous time in Holland that we decided to swap again
this year around the same time, spring break. Again, I wanted Paris. Well,
really I wanted a spa week in Sedona, Ariz., but that would have been more
expensive than what turned out to be an eight-day jaunt to Dublin.
My girl and I hung out mostly in the trendy, artsy Temple Bar district of
Dublin, doing a lot of shopping and sightseeing, and checking out the queer
clubs. I was particularly interested in walking in the footsteps of
James Joyce and Oscar Wilde. Unfortunately, since we went in April,
many tourist attractions, such as the Irish Writers Museum, the
Joyce Center and most castles in the Irish countryside, were closed.
However, we did see Dublin Castle, the Guinness brewery and the
Irish Museum of Modern Art-which
had an extensive Georgia
O'Keefe exhibition and a joint Calder~Miro retrospective-and took
a day trip to the seaside town of Howth, where local fishmongers
supply smoked salmon to the world.
This year we exchanged with a single woman who lives on the out~
skirts of Dublin in a modest but very modern apartment complex.
One thing we noticed in Ireland, and in Holland, was the emphasis on
conservation and moderation. For example, we never got water with
our meals unless we asked, we received only one napkin at each meal,
and we were served moderate portions of food, enough to fillbut not
overfill us. Symbols on groceries and restaurant menus to designate
whether the food was suitable for vegetarians, vegans, diabetics and
others. We came back much more conscious of how we eat and how
wasteful and careless we are in the U.S.
..........................................................
.
10 HOUSE SWAPPING TIPS
1. Be open. Every exchange is different. All are based
on trust and proper planning. Make good acquaintance
through phone calls and e-mails. If you have swapped
before, you should give, and get, references.
2. Get personal. First, if you are not on a gay-home
exchange site, come out first thing to potential swappers. I always wrote "lesbian couple interested in ... " in
my first e-mail to a possible swap. In Europe particularly,
queerness doesn't rule out a swap with a straight person
or family. And it's better to be open and comfortable
than dishonest and furtive.
3. Try to exchange with people from a similar background. They don't have to be queer, but if they are
single or coupled, or have children or animals, the familiar helps to make for a better swap experience for all.
4. Be honest. You don't want to disappoint or be disappointed. Don't exaggerate your accommodations, just
provide the facts and let parties make their own decisions.
5. Leave your home clean and prepare space in drawers,
closets, bathrooms and other areas. Change the linens
and put out clean towels. And leave enough toilet paper!
6. Notify your landlords and insurance companies {homeowners' or renters' and, if you are swapping vehicles,
your auto insurance company).
7. Leave an extra set of keys with a friend or neighbor.
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8. Arrange for the care of gardens, swimming pools,
animals and other home needs.
9. Leave all appliances in working condition and let your
swap partner know whether you have a landline or if they
should make other arrangements for telephone communications.
...........................................................
1O.Give, and get, a list of all important contact numbers.
u.s.by rail
.....................................................................
Ridingthe railsfrom Chicago
to LosAngeles. By Aefa Mulholland
Coming from a country so small that you can cross from east to west in less
than an hour, I've always been awed by the vast dimensions of America.
You can whisk right across Scotland, from Edinburgh to my hometown of
Glasgow, in just 46 minutes. Over here, if you strike it lucky and connections
line up, a train trip coast-to-coast takes a minimum of 46 hours.
To make up for all the time I'd saved on those speedy Scottish train rides,
I booked up a flotilla of tickets: the Southwest Chief south and then west
from Chicago to Los Angeles; the Coast Starlight north from Los Angeles to
Portland; the Empire Builder east from Portland to Montana, then Seattle,
taking me in a crooked horseshoe from Chicago to Whitefish, Mont.
At Chicago's Union Station, I trotted aboard the Southwest Chief and
a love affair began. I watched, fascinated, from the comfort of the Sightseer
Lounge, as Illinois, Kansas, Colorado and New Mexico went by. The everinformative guide USA by Rail filled in useful facts, such as when we were
passing Princeton, Ill., "the pig capital of the world;' and Colorado's Spanish
Peaks, known by Native Americans as "the breasts of Mother Earth:'
My first cluster of U.S. train trips traced a perhaps unusual route, with
station stops including Albuquerque, N.M., and Whitefish. In Albuquerque,
I marveled at the Rodeo Glowdeo, an illuminated night rodeo of noveltyshape hot air balloons. The first balloon I encountered, looming drunkenly
overhead, was a semi-inflated, 100-foot-highJose Cuervo bottle. Gargantuan
cows, glowing monsters and inflated corporate identities reeled wildly as dusk
crept in from the Sandia Mountains. I also encountered an ex-clown who
told me that he'd left the circus because after a while "youjust get tired of the
elephants:' I guess you would.
While I remember many places I stopped and things I did on that first
trip, the strongest memories I have are of riding the trains. On the Coast
Starlight with my then-girlfriend, we delighted in the scenery over pink zinfandels in the dining car. I was amazed by mile after mile of fields of red,
yellow and green bell peppers that lined the route; by the mountains looming craggy, blanketed with fir and pine trees, as we crossed from Northern
California into Oregon, near Klamath Falls; and by city skylines glittering
into view as we approached Portland and Seattle.
The motley array of people I met stay with me, too. The icy, disapproving
Republican lady who frowned at the two of us as we left L.A:s Union Station
but thawed by the time we made it to San Francisco. The two gay former
Marines who bobbed their heads up from the seats in front to say,"Hi, I'm
Perry;' and 'Tm Perry, too:' Leaving Portland solo on the Empire Builder, I met
recently widowed Marnie from Ohio, on her way back from the Oregon Coast,
where she had just 'chucked that cheating bastard's ashes off a cliff."I left her
celebrating in the bistro car. I'd been back in my seat for hours when the quiet
woman beside me told me that she, too, was taking her partner's ashes to their
final resting place. She stroked the Tupperware container she held tightly on
..
.................................................................
FUN TRAIN TRIPS
1. Coast Starlight from Los Angel~s to Seattle, via San
Francisco and Portland, in 35 hours. National Park Service
guides from the Klondike Gold Rush National Historical Park
are on board for talks and questions between Seattle and
Portland, and Klamath Falls and Eugene.
2. Empire Builder from Chicago to Seattle or Portland (the
line splits at Spokane), via Milwaukee, St. Paul, Fargo and
Whitefish, in 46 hours. Glowing city skylines of Minneapolis
and St. Paul, the North Dakota plains, the spectacular
Gassman Coulee Trestle, Montana's Glacier National Park and
the dramatic Columbia River Gorge all feature on this itinerary.
3. California Zephyr from Chicago to San Francisco, via
Omaha, Denver and Salt Lake City, in 51 hours. One of the
most impressive journeys, the Zephyr passes the Rockies
and the Sierra Nevadas; chugs through Moffat Tunnel, past
Colorado's Gore, Byers and Glenwood Canyons; and glides by
Donner Lake, San Pablo Bay and the Carquinez Strait.
4. Adirondack from New York to Montreal, via Albany, in
10 hours. The Adirondack travels daily from New York City
through the lush wine country of the Hudson Valley, past Lake
Champlain and across the border into Montreal, just in time to
go out for dinner and hit the bars and clubs.
5. Silver Star from Boston to Miami, via New York, Washington
D.C., Philadelphia, Charleston, S.C., and Savannah, Ga., in
36 hours. Taking in the major cities of the East Coast before
coasting through Virginia and the Carolinas, the Silver Star
reaches the lush fringes of Georgia at Savannah.
..................................................................
.................................................................
ADVICE FOR BEGINNERS
1. Get good mileage: Sign up for Amtrak Rewards miles on
amtrakguestrewards.com.
2. Make a deal: Amtrak posts weekly "Hot Deals" on its Web
site, amtrak.com.
3. Rail value: If doing more than a return trip across the
country, or within one region, look into Amtrak's Rail Pa~ses.
Via Rail Canada has similar options (viarail.ca).
4. Make the connection: Routes such as the Coast
Starlight are notoriously tardy. Don't book any tight, nonrail
connections. Connecting trains are usually held if an
incoming train is running behind schedule.
5. A big advance: Ticket prices are cheapest up to one week
in advance, then lurch up dramatically after that.
6. Time and place: Arrive early. Seat allocations are often
done at the station. On coastal trips, such as the Cascades'
and Coast Starlight's, remember to ask for a window seat on
the ocean side.
7. Home comforts: Pack pillow and blankets if traveling in
coach for a long trip .
8. Charge it: Bring the phone charger and laptop as hand
baggage; most trains have sockets by all seats to allow you
to plug in.
9. That's entertainment: Most routes show scheduled movies
on overhead screens throughout the train.
10. Sights and sounds: Longer-distance routes offer sleepers,
a dining car and viewing with floor-to-ceiling windows, often
with talks or commentary from staff, invited speakers or park
rangers. Kids' activities are usually scheduled, too.
her lap and told me heartbreaking tales of her lost love. Icicles hung off the
restored Tudor Revival station building we arrived at in Whitefish at 7 a.m.
the next day. The only other passengers getting off were two dozen black-dad
Hutterites. I felt like I arrived in the last century.
There's something of a faded grandeur about train travel. The names
of the routes sound alluring. Traveling them is like tracing part of history.
Railroads shaped so much of this country. The Southwest Chief, for instance,
traces part of the old Santa Fe Trail. The Empire Builder speeds along a route
once followed by horse-drawn wagons.
As well as it being a commendable, ecofriendly choice, what I love about
traveling by train is its pace. There is something both calming and exciting
about train travel. There is indescribable splendor on a thrilling scale outside
the windows. There is space. There is time to think, to watch movies, to drink
wine, to have romantic dinners, to make good use of sleeper accommodations,
Madonna-style, if you've brought someone appropriate along.
These days, the size of America doesn't surprise me so much. It's my own
homeland that seems to have shrunk down to toy-country size. Some nights
I lie awake and hear the trains whistle, and I get restless. They sound the
promise of all the adventures waiting down the rails across the breadth of this
great, wide land.
October 2007
I49
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NEW ADVENTURES
hit the spa
Get pampered like a princess and leave
feeling as sexy as a post-rehab rockstar.
By Catherine Plato
Though not always the most budget-friendly of choices, a destination spa can
be well worth the cost when it's really time to get away from it all. If you're
attached, a spa weekend with the missus is totally romantic, but feeling all
healthy and fussed over is just as fun when you're single, too. It just so happens that right outside some of the country's best urban locations for girlwatching and hot lesbian nightlife are some of the most relaxing, gay-friendly
luxury spas, for when the city gets to be too much. Got an extra weekend and
a few hundred dollars (or more) to spard Maybe it's time to sit back and do
a little bit of nothing.
CHEECA LODGE, lslamorada, Fla.: Pronounced 'chica;' this idyllic
beachside resort sits right between the two South Florida Meccas of gay nightlife: an hour and a half drive to the north and·you've got Miami's South Beach;
about the same distance south is Key West. If chilling out is more your style,
consider this super peaceful lslamorada locale, where the craziest after-dark
activity you'll find involves wicker furniture, a cool cocktail, stargazing and the
occasional reggae band. And when you're craving excitement, rest assured: The
party's not so far away.
Cheeca serves a mixed clientele, actively markets to the gay community
and is 100 percent child-friendly as well. If you're like me and can't stand
the thought of sitting still for too long, there are plenty of fun things to do
without even leaving the Cheeca property. There are tennis courts and a ninehole golf course, with lessons available for either sport. The lodge loans out
bicycles to its guests, and while it's usually too hot to travel very far, the resort
grounds are covered in beautiful tropical gardens, and funky boutique shopping is nearby, too. The surrounding Atlantic Ocean is still and warm as bathwater, perfect for swimming, kayaking, sailing or some of the country's best
snorkeling; the lodge is a short boat ride from North America's only living,
natural coral ree£ And in the evening, consider taking a su~et cruise. Beside
beautiful views of the sun sinking down over the Gulf of Mexico, we saw a
few dolphins enjoying the last few moments of daylight.
The Cheeca spa offers a wide variety of luxury treatments: massages,
body scrubs, facials, manicures and pedicures. After spending a day under
the scorching South Florida sun, my normally pallid complexion was bright
red and in dire need of some soothing. From their long list of options, I chose
the SO-minute Cheeca signature body scrub, which left my skin feeling soft
and smelling sweet. If you're there with a lady friend or two, try the Couple's
Retreat or the Girls' Getaway Package-both of which happen in a posh
poolside cabana. The spa also offers Tai Chi and yoga classes, either group or
private, and wellness consultations with a fitness expert. (cheeca.com)
STEVENSWOOD SPA RESORT, Little River, Calif.: One of the
country's most luxurious gay-owned spas lies on Northern California's
Mendocino Coast, about a three-and-a-half-hour drive north of San
Francisco. Surrounded by the 2,400-acre Van Damme State Park, the fivestar Stevenswood Resort lies amid meadows, gardens and Redwood trees and
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offers views of the Pacific Ocean. A two-minute drive will bring guests to
the quaint historic town of Mendocino, where art galleries and world-class
cuisine await. Each of Stevenswood's 10 luxury suites offer cozy wood-burning fireplaces, perfect for snuggling up next to your girl at the end of a long
day. In the morning, wander the beautifully landscaped grounds and nearby
Redwood groves or just sink into the Jacuzzi. Some of California's most
esteemed wineries are a short car ride away-and the on-site spa, Indigo, is
perfect for detoxing afterward.
Indigo, for the most part, uses its own private line of skin and body care
products in its treatments. It prides itself on being the world's first Eco-Spa,
and uses organic local botanicals and ecologically sound methods in making
all its products. If you visit with a special someone, try the 75-minute fireside
couple's massage, complete with a pre-treatment soak and chilled champagne.
Other favorite treatments include the olive oil foot soak and the Humboldt
salt scrub. But if I were to choose one treatment off their extensive menu,
I would go with the 90-minute Pacific Sea Detox. At $235, it's definitely a
splurge, but being wrapped head-to-toe in essential oils and then massaged
feels nice enough to be worth it.
Also, don't miss lunch at the spa. Indigo is probably the only spa I can
think of that offers gourmet peanut butter and jelly sandwiches alongside its
herbal tea menu-all organic, of course. Back at the lodge, the restauraunt at
Stevenswood is one of the best restaurants on the Northern California coast,
serving breakfast, dinner and desserts made from the best local ingredients,
with a menu that changes daily. (stevenswood.com)
CROWNEPOINT HISTORICINN AND SPA,Provincetown,Mass.:
Well, of course Provincetown has a gay-friendly spa. Forty luxury rooms span
six fully restored buildings set on a sea captain's historic, 140-year-old Cape
Cod estate. In addition to the acclaimed Shui Spa (open to the public as well
as hotel guests), the Crowne Pointe offers one of the Cape's finest restaurants,
uncreatively named the Bistro at Crowne Pointe. To really woo your woman,
request a room with a whirlpool tub and fireplace.
For a romantic getaway, try booking one of the hotel's special couple's
packages. Their best-selling Rejuvenation and Dining Package gets you and
your lady dinner for two, plus a Swedish massage or Grape Wine Facial. And
starting in November, after the end of their busy summer season, take advantage of the Fall Two Night Cape Escape package: two nights ofluxury accommodations, fine dining and spa treatments for two. If you're traveling solo
and want the ultimate Shui experience, the Feel Like a Goddess treatment
is the way to go. Start with a warm, fizzling, candlelit bubble bath, followed
by a deluxe exfoliating body treatment. For 75 minutes and $165, it's well
worth it.
Like many of the finest destination spas, Crowne Pointe hosts weddings as
well-but unlike some of its competitors, Crowne Pointe can offer its lesbian
guests a legal Massachusetts marriage. Never fear, granola dykes: Chef Amy
Howell offers plenty of vegetarian and even vegan options on the party and
banquet menu. And though you'd expect no less in ultra-gay Provincetown,
the Crowne Pointe Web site specifically welcomes same-sex couples to have
their weddings there. (crownepointe.com)
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TAKE THE SPA HOME
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Let's face it: A whole weekend away at one of the country's
finest, priciest resorts isn't always an option. You can still feel
like a princess (or give the royal treatment to your lady) with
some spa-quality products at home. Here are some of our
favorites.
Juice Beauty Organics to Go: Juice Beauty offers a full
skin care line made of the best organic ingredients. Their
moisturizing cleansing milk uses juice from white grapes,
chamomile and aloe, and is perfect for sensitive or sunburnt
skin. Follow it up with hydrating mist, antioxidant serum, and
apple juice-based oil-free moisturizer. For a once-a-week
treatment that rivals anything you'd find at a spa, use the
Green Apple Peel, formulated especially for sensitive skin.
(juicebeauty.com)
Kama Ayurveda: In Sanskrit, "kama" means desire;
"ayurveda" means life science. Using time-tested
prescriptions, purely natural ingredients and absolutely no
animal testing, Kama relies on ancient beauty formulas in its
products. I loved the Soap Free Body cleanser, a "combination
of herbs, cereals and pulses" that doesn't foam and feels a
little like sand on your face at first, but makes your skin really
smooth. Pregnant ladies should consider investing in the
firming treatment, which promises to tighten and firm your
breasts and abdominal muscles and reduce the appearance of
delivery marks. (kamaayurveda.com)
Medique Beauty Pads: Apply these thin, cloth pads soaked
in botanical oils to the skin just below your eyes. Leave them
on for 40 minutes at a time, a few days a week, and before
long, no one will be able to tell that you spend most of your
waking hours sipping caffeine and staring with bloodshot eyes
at a computer screen. (mediquebeautypads.com)
Arbonne International: Arbonne's been keeping Swiss
women looking hot since 1975. They boast high-end hair and
skin care products, makeup and weight-loss supplements.
Try their NutriMinC line of anti-aging facial products, which
rely on natural ingredients to keep you looking like jail bait.
(arbonne.com) - CP
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+
NEW ADVENTURES
vocationvacation
Test driveyourdreamjob. By Aefa Mulholland
You're trundling through the trivialities of the daily grind, dreaming of being a
restaurant reviewer, choreographer or bar owner. As you slog through the traffic,the morning meetings or the lunch rush, you're fantasizing about a more fulfilling life. Staring at tail lights during a long commute, Brian Kurth wondered
what it would be like to be a winemaker, tour guide or dog trainer. After some
research, he realized there was no one offering short-term, dream-job internships for adults; the idea of Vocation Vacations was born.
Fueled by the simple concept that happiness and passion can and should
be a fundamental part of what you do, the dynamic Kurth and his team,
including out lesbian Melissa Townsend, set up internships that allow the
curious to "test drive" their dream jobs, offering gateways into an amazing
array of careers. Fancy trying out life as an alpaca farmer, radio personality
or P.A. to the stars? Or stepping into the shoes of a sommelier, soccer team
manager or museum curator? Those are just a few of hundreds of one- to
three-day potentially life-changing options currently on their books.
It's proving wildly popular. Kurth said that since 2004, the company has
"grown from 10 little vocation vacations, all in Oregon, to almost 300 in 35
states:• Customers pay between $299 and $2,399 for the opportunity to try
a new career.
"Statistics show that the vast majority of people are disgruntled and not
happy in their work. In January 2007, Harris Interactive did a consumer
employment survey. Of 6,000 people surveyed, 84 percent are currently not
in their dream job;' Kurth added.
No wonder so many people have signed up to try out life as a chocolatier,
brewmaster, interior designer, horse trainer, voiceover actor or B&B owner.
Gay couple Paul Holje and George Kelley had been working on their business plan for almost a year when they took their vocation vacation at Portland's
famed Pearl Bakery."We used [the experience] to confirm a lot of things we'd
been thinking about and to warn us off a few other things;' Kelley said.
"We got the experience of being able to work in a commercial bakery.
From the first hour we were up to our elbows in dough. We learned about
commercial bread production, pastry making, cookies, the lunch menu. . ..
They also showed us a lot of the business stuff, from the mundane, how to
do accounting, to suggestions for payroll and dealing with employees. Really,
[the best bit was] the totality of the whole experience; we got to do a little bit
of everything;' Kelley enthused. He and Holje now operate their own bakery,
Dakota Harvest Acres, in Grand Forks, N.D.
Like Kurth, Melissa Townsend understands the need for career change.
"I worked as a chef for nearly 20 years .... I got to work in an area that I
was passionate about for a long time, but the passion sort of died:' She's now
Vocation Vacations' head of mentor relations.
"I think that our mentors like the idea of sharing their passion for their
work with others, the sort of pay-it-forward mentality. I also find that many
of our mentors have been down the career change path themselves. They
really relate to our vocationers who ... want more or who want to make their
dream a reality. They want to share their experience in a'this is what I did, this
is what I would do in hindsight' sort of way:'
An accomplished bass player in a former life, Ariz.-based Tamera Lyndsay
is one such mentor. The girl-band rocker's company, Wilma World, makes shoes
and accessoriesthat have been seen on Sheryl Crow,Joan Jett, Annie Lennox and
52 I curve
"I think[a vocationvacation]is a greatway to
get a taste of what it mightreallybe like
withouthavingto make a big commitment.
We don't tend to findwho we are and what
we reallywant in lifewithouttakingthat leap."
The L Word cast members, as well as on the pages of Vanity Fair.
"I think [a vocation vacation] is a great way to get a taste of what it might
really be like without having to make a big commitment. We don't tend to
find who we are and what we really want in life without taking that leap. It's
like the difference between staying in the closet and trying to live a whole life
that way, or taking the leap of faith in yourself and casting aside fears of what
other people would say or think in order to come out of that closet and live a
whole and fulfilling life free of fear;' Lyndsay said.
In addition to wanting to help keep the art of traditional shoemaking and
design alive in the U.S., she became a mentor "to encourage people to follow
their bliss and to help them believe that whatever their passion is, there is a
way to follow it and make it profitable:'
For Kurth-who wrote a book (Test Drive Your Dream Job, due out in
January) and signed a TV deal with Al Roker Productions-his leap of faith
brought success. "I get to live vicariously through all these people taking their
dream jobs [and work) with the mentors who are phenomenally passionate;'
he
For more information, visit vocationvacations.com or call 866-888-6329.
destroying? Getting hitched or hooking
up? High art or high camp? Tapas or
tiramisu? Guest list or wine list? Spotlight
or candlelight? Campy or classy? Hot or
mild? Gnocchi or nachos? Are they or
aren't they? Fob or flannel? Committing or
cutting loose? High fashion or low price?
Ballgame or ballroom? In the parade or
in the crowd? High art or high wire?
Chardonnay
or Sauvignon Blanc?
Commitment or carousal? Planned or
unplanned? See or be seen? Chopin
or show tunes? Strict or spontaneous?
Boxers or briefs? Glommed-up or
dressed-down?
Lipstick or leather?
Tasteful or tasteless? Day at the spa or
day in the sun? Steakhouse or sushi
bar? New hat or new heels? Staying
out or staying in? Winter or summer?
Hot or mild? Restful or rip-roaring?
Dress up or dress down? Star-spotting
or stargazing? Beach or bar? Button-up
or button-down? King Street or Queen
Toronto.Unlimited possibilities.
Proud member
of:
Sponsored by:
VIA RailOmad'a
www.viarail.ca
™ TheVIA logo is a trademark
owned and usedbyVIA Roil
Canada Inc.
Street? Strip clubs or strip malls? Sashimi
or souvlaki? Tied up or tied down?
East end or west end? He or she?
High-end or low-brow?
Sweet or
sour? Waterpark
or waterfront?
Commitment or carousal? Prude or
tattooed?
Martini
or margarita?
Calm or chaotic? Raw or cooked?
Day or night? Give or take? Uptown or
downtown? Cut or uncut? Rock or jazz?
In or out? Rough or refined? Playing nice
or playing dirty? Together or whatever?
Mall or market? Talk or listen? Sunlight
or moonlight? Downtown or uptown?
Boxers or briefs? High-cut or low-cut?
Hotel or B&B? Love or lust? Beach or
bar? Heels or houswares? Are they
or aren't they? Strict or spontaneous?
Wining or dining? Businessor pleasure?
Head or tail? Primped or pampered?
Bed or bedlam? Shabby or chic? Frame
or canvas? Planned or unplanned?
Skinny or burly? Conversation or
copulation? Dusk or dawn? Friendship
Not far from Toronto,experiencethe
welcomingwine regionsof Niagara and
PrinceEdward County.Start exploring
B&Bs,bike toursand wine tastingsat
www.torontotourism.com/ pride
i:oronto
u n Ii mite d-
www. torontotou
rism .com/ pride
ONT~O
CANADA
··············+
NEW ADVENTURES
alwaysturned on
Welcometo the AC. By Stephanie Schroeder
New Jersey has been a national leader enacting laws that improve the quality of the lives of the state's LGBT community for more than three decades.
Issues surrounding adoption, custody and visitation, hate crimes, bullying and
abuse in schools, and nondiscrimination in employment and housing have been
positively addressed. And recently, statewide legislation protecting transgender
individuals took effect, as did the state's wide-ranging civil union permissions
and protections.
And, New Jersey has Atlantic City. The bright lights of the casinos and
the busy, bustling boardwalk enchant. You can take in a show or put on your
poker face and try your luck at the gambling tables in Atlantic City. Or, you
can take a daytrip along the coast-antiquing at the myriad collectible and
curiosity shops, sip wine at a local winery or sightsee at the many local attractions on the cape.
Atlantic City, or ''AC" as locals refer to it, is only a short bus ride away from
New York City and Philadelphia. A resort town with a rich ttadition of entertainment even before the over-the-top casinos were sttewn about the landscape,
Atlantic City's numerous atttactions and activities give visitors something to get
turned on about no matter what your predilections.
hold your very own ceremony, you can find the State of New Jersey's civil
union application online.
While plenty of folks still head to Atlantic City for the gambling,
the boardwalk and the scene, a lot of people now visit only for the shows.
According to Vince Grimm, executive director of GABLES, which publishes
the Rainbow Directory for New Jersey, you'll now find the areas surrounding Atlantic City-the smaller coastal towns from Cape May all the way to
Asbury Park-offer adventures worth taking.
Here are some suggestions for queer girlsseeking safe and welcoming spaces
in or near Atlantic City.
AtlanticCity
The Surfside Resort Hotel, a resort attracting primarily a gay male clientele, is
still your best bet. You can mix with the brothers, head to the women-oriented
Brass Railfor a burger or dance the night away with the sisters at Studio Six.
New Jersey's tallest lighthouse, third tallest in the nation, stands at the
crossroads of Pacific and Rhode Island Avenues in Atlantic City. Stand above
it all as you climb the 228 steps of the Absecon Lighthouse, one of the oldest lighthouses in the country. There, you will find breathtaking views of the
Atlantic City skyline, and at the tip you'll have the chance to learn some history,
about the Fresnel Lens, first lit in 1857. The executive director of the lighthouse
is an ordained minister and often performs civil unions there.
Lucy the elephant, consttucted in 1881, sits on the beach facing the sea in
Margate. Replete with painted toenails, tusks and a museum tucked inside, this
national historic landmark is only a few miles from Atlantic City and another
choice location for civil union ceremonies. You can also climb onto Lucy's back
to glimpse the panoramic view of the ocean and beaches in surround sound.
DoM11heShore
Hosting more than 35 million visitors annually with 24/7 gaming, headline entertainment and gourmet dining, Atlantic City's 12 opulent gambling
joints are juxtaposed against the dazzling backdrop of the Atlantic Ocean.
However, the casinos aren't the only sport around. The seaside resort of
Atlantic City offers something for everyone, including queer-friendly clubs,
24-hour bars and concerts.
And, Atlantic City offers the possibility of wedded bliss: the New Jersey
civil unions law went into effect February 19, 2007. Civil unions in New
Jersey bestow every benefit of so-called traditional marriage on queer couples
without the moniker of"marriage:• If you are traveling to Atlantic City to
54
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The queer-friendly Albert Stevens Inn was built in 1898 by homeopathic doctor Albert G. Stevens as a wedding giftfor his new wife. A Victorian Queen
Anne Classic home, the Inn has a unique floating staircase that is suspended
from the third floor turret The doctor's original office suite has been split into
two formal dining rooms. Prices range from $100 to $250, depending on the
time of year.
If you're not really into gambling or hungry man-style casino buffets,
there are plenty of alternative atttactions in the area. The Renault Winery is
in nearby Egg Harbor. This vineyard-resort features a unique Antique Glass
Museum housing a priceless collection of champagne and wine glasses dating
back to medieval times. Oh, and wine-tasting opportunities, of course. For
Dinah Shore types, the resort also features the Vineyard Golf at Renault, a
challenging 7,000-yard championship golf course with splendid views of the
vineyards and orchards.
BeforeYouGo
Check out the Atlantic City Convention and Visitors Authority at atlanticcitynj.com and click on the rainbow flag on the left-hand side of the screen for
queer and queer-friendly resources. Visit gablescapemay.com for information
about the queer scene along the coast.
::£
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the babes of poker
Watch out for cardshark-infested
waters. By Jennifer Corday
In a game predominantly played by men, women are storming the poker
scene with plenty to bring to the table. Unlike slots, keno or roulette, poker
requires some serious skill and personality to boot, as opponents compete
against one another for the best hand. Top female poker players have hauled
in huge chunks of change, becoming millionaires overnight and celebrities
in the gambling community. The World Series of Poker is the mother of all
poker events; a seat at the final table is considered a lifetime achievement in
any poker player's career. It all leads up to the World Champion Event, "the
main event;' on July 6-17 at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas. Though a woman
has yet to win the main event, it looks like it could very well happen in
the near future. The kick-ass poker ladies of the past include Annie Duke,
Jennifer Harmon and Kathy Liebert, but the list is continuing to grow.
Actor Shannon Elizabeth (American Pie) is beginning to make a
name for herself in the poker world, while actor Jennifer Tilly (Bound)
has pretty much given up her acting career to pursue poker full rime.
Tilly has won numerous tournaments, including the World Poker Tour
Ladies Invitational, the Ladies No-Limit Texas Hold 'Em event, where
she bested 600 other women, and she appears regularly on shows like
CelerityPokerShowdown,Poker Superstarsand High StakesPoker.
Canadian beauty Evelyn "Evybabee" Ng, aka Evelyn "Champagne"
Ng, almost won the World Poker Tour Ladies Invitational at the Bicycle
Casino in Los Angeles but was beat by the sexy Clonie Gowen. Gowen,
a well-known poker celebrity, has
graced the cover of Maxim magazine and recently challenged Paris
Hilton to a celebrity charity match where she would undoubtedly kick
Ms. Hilton's ass. Don't let this beauty fool you, she's got the brains and
the brawn to beat the boys. "I don't think being a woman hurts me at all;'
explains Gowen, "Most men don't give women credit for playing poker
well, so that hurts them:' Although all-women poker tournaments are
springing up everywhere, some women refuse to play the segregated
events. "Poker is one of the only sports where a woman can compete on
a totally equal footing with a man;' says top-rated poker player Annie
Duke, "so I don't understand why there's a ladies-only tournament:'
True that, but we lesbians prefer the scenery at an all-girl game.
Obviously, the strip poker duel between Helena and Catherine on
Showrime's The L Word was a gamblin' girl's dream, so why not plan
your own all-girl strip poker party? Texas Hold 'Em, Seven Card Stud
and Omaha Hi are some of the more popular poker games, but you can
always make up new rules to keep things interesting.
Four queens beats all? ComeO~tPoker.com is something for you
online poker players to check out. COP caters to the LGBT community
and even has a game called Come Out Hold 'Em, where straights are
eliminated from the hand rankings. Get it, no straights?
.....................................................................................................................................
.
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NEW ADVENTURES
the odds are on my side
Renorollsout the red carpetto fulfillone writer'schampagnewishes
and caviardreams.By Diane Anderson-Minshall
I'm in my luxury suite at the famed El Dorado Hotel in Reno being massaged
by an attractive woman who assures me that even though this is Nevadawill be no "happy ending:' Not that
home of legalized prostitution-there
I need it; there have been women all over me this weekend. In fact, within
hours I'm whisked away by not one but six super sexy queer girls in a limousine for a night of dancing, debauchery and general _queer extravagance.
Anything I want this weekend is at the push of a telephone button, because
I'm in the midst of having my champagne wishes and caviar dreams fulfilled.
For one weekend, I'm being treated like a highroller and I can tell you already,
there ain't no going back from a life like this.
I got here, like Robin Leach, on my own private jet. OK, well, it was the El
Dorado's private jet-the plush 20-minute flight from San Francisco to Reno
started with me sipping espresso and bypassing airport check in lines.
The largest number of regular visitors to Reno comes from the San
Francisco Bay Area, which has a fascinating and determinedly queer impact
on the city. Instead of being the desert wasteland of Desert Hearts lore, Reno
was chockablock with dyke travelers. And though there is a lot less glitz and
glitter than Vegas, there's a surprisingly diverse but wonderfully bucolic small
town vibe to Reno.
PamperMe Mine
Entering my suite in the Skyline Tower of the El Dorado Hotel was a little
like dying and going to heaven. The fact that I managed to leave it at all would
be a miracle. Our multi-room 600-square-foot suite, reserved for high roll-
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ers and other VIPs is popular with hot
Hollywood celebs. My friend and I get
the rock star treatment ourselves. The
bar is decked out with a full assortment
of our favorite drinks, as well as enough
food to feed 10 people (like chocolate
covered strawberries and vegan brownies). The bedrooms each have giant gifr
baskets from local dyke-owned boutique La Bussola (all the swag is nestled
in vintage record albums that have been
melted and shaped into funky decorative bowls). There's so much swag in
our suite that I have to buy two new
suitcases to take it all home.
Our hotel suite is, well, sweet with
a large wet bar, a full dining room, two
private bedroom/bathroom suites, each
of which is decked out with a huge inroom Jacuzzi tub that overlooks the
Reno skyline, a walk in Euro steam
room/ shower combo that can seat
three comfortably, makeup vanity and
bidet, five TVs, a VCR/DVD, a guest
bathroom, Internet access and 24-hour room service among other luxuries.
Meanwhile, I'm assigned a "Gold Girl," a helpful lady concierge/butler/personal assistant who is in charge of making sure I get what I need. She comes
in handy one night when I tear my jeans in the limo coming back from a strip
dub; within an hour they're sewn, pressed and delivered to my door ready to
wear. Even things you normally have to do for yourself at other hotels, like
dosing the curtains, are done electronically for you here. I never wanted to
leave my room-or at least not the hotel and casino.
Fortunately, with the El Dorado, you never have to. With 10 restaurants,
an 81,000-square-foot casino with over 1,800 slots and 90 table games, three
keno lounges, a 12,400-square-foot convention center, and a 580-seat theater-style showroom featuring Broadway-style entertainment, the El Dorado
feels like a city within itsel£ It's also attached via skyways to two neighbor
properties-Circus
Circus and Silver Legacy-and dozens of restaurants
and shops, so visitors literally never have to leave the building. Even better, if
you're traveling with kiddies you can drop them off at Circus Circus and go
have a few cocktails and some adult time guilt free.
I was not so encumbered, though, so throughout the weekend I wandered
in and out of restaurants, bars, and boutiques, on to slot floors and in gaming
rooms in an endless maze that could have taken my full attention had I let it.
Alas, within moments of my arrival at the El Dorado Hotel, I am whisked
back down to another booze-stocked stretch limo for a ride to the hot queerowned A Salon 7. Inside the small, mural-adorned building, I'm pure putty
in the hands of some of the funkiest girls east of San Francisco. Most of
6
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the girls are tattooed or pierced with Technicolor hair, including founder and co-owner Jenny Oxier (akaJenny 0), a mini
celebrity among the town's young MySpace generation and local
trans groups (giving trans women beauty tips is a pet cause).
Oxier opened Salon 7 three years ago because, she admits, "I
couldn't find a salon I was comfortable in because I am gay. I
was told at a salon I worked in not to tell anyone I was gay, so I
didn't have a choice:'
What started as an operation with five stylists is now a super
hot, 2,300-square-foot day spa and salon with 18 employees.
Tonya Marini, a scion of the city's famous Marini family (her
grandparents own the El Dorado Hotel), joined Jenny O later
in the venture.
Today Marini is sporting a camouflage mini skirt and punky
jet-black hair in a faux hawk. One of the sexiest woman in all of
Nevada, I'm sure everyone at the salon wants to just bump up
against her and Jenny 0, another sexy dame, who is all freckles
and sass, and a self-described super gay chick who sprinkles her
speech with phrases like "that's fucking hot" and "awesome:'
By the end of the afternoon, I am sporting a "fucking hot"
Joan Jett-like pink, copper and black 'do. And I'm drunk because
there's booze everywhere. The girls at Salon 7 made sure I had a
fullglass (beer, wine, whisky-it's all the same here) from beginning to end. It's a surprise that I could even see in the mirror by
the time I staggered back to the limo. But that's not enough so
Jenny, Rachel, Tania, Brook, Amber, Renee and Meredith take
me out to enjoy queer Reno. My gaggle of gay girls (well, lesbian, bisexual and flamboyantly bi-curious girls) from Salon 7
manage to hit the piano bar at Roxy's, the friendly mixed-queer
dance bar the Five Star Saloon (awesome'80s club hits) and the
gay gift shop the G Spot. When our limo driver mentioned the
boutique, Meredith Tanzer, owner of La Bussola, snapped back
campily: "Oh honey, lesbians can always find the G Spot:'
.
We wind up at a strip club, Fantasy Girls, the only club in
Reno that allows girls in without men, where I spend the rest of
the evening chatting with Shyanne, an attractive queer dancer
with a slightly gothic, tattooed Bettie Page look.
After another couple of hours and another six drinks, one
girl was literally under the table (we had the limo driver take
her home) and Jenny O had spent her rent money on dancers,
so we decided to move on. I had been drinking since morning at
that point, free and flowing cocktails, so I begged to go back to
my suite and crawl in to bed that night. I woke up several hours
LOG ON
BEFORE YOU GO
Eldorado Hotel
and Casino
eldoradoreno.com
Harrah's
harrahs.com
Circus Circus
circusreno.com
later in my still warm Jacuzzi tub.
Five Star Saloon
5starsaloon.net
I Go a Gambling
Reflections
reflectionsreno.com
The next day I gotta gamble, but novice that I am, I want to talk
with more high rollers. I learn first hand that high rollers and
VIPs have certain luxuries that go beyond limos and whirlpool
baths. For one, the Gold Room is open to answer your every
whim. Whenever I needed anything, from a piece of rare fruit
to a hard-to-find-in-the-desert bath product, the Gold Room
had it in my hands within minutes. Whenever I wanted a break
from the casino floor I could dash in to the Gold Room where
free cocktails were always flowing and my handler seemed to
have the pulse of Reno at her fingertips.
At the tables, high rollers have their needs ~et fully. The
restaurants, bars and club rooms are all stocked with whatever
drinks we like. My demands may have sounded absurd-Miss
Vickie's Lime and Black Pepper chips, Tejava, FIJI water, and
vegan brownies as well as bath products and celebrity magazines
in every room-compared to the PuffDaddys of the world, but
damn it they made my visit all the sweeter.
Another high roller tip: You get your own table without asking. Hate to play blackjack with the hoi polloi? Think onlookers
The Patio
thepatiobar.com
Tronix
tronixreno.com
Salon 7
salon7.net
A Rainbow Place
arainbowplace.org
Reno Gay
Visitor's Info
visitrenotahoe.com
La Bussola
& Center Gallery
2by2creations.com/
labussola
Reno-Sparks
Convention and
Visitors Authority
RenolakeTahoe.com
The Odds Are on My Side continued on page 76
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carry in purses and bags, get
your tea fix on the go. (Stashtea.
com) - Katie Peoples
October 2007
I57
• • • • • • • • • • • • • >}-
NEW ADVENTURES
what happens here
Two days,threeshows,many,manystrippers.Vegasis
my kindof town. By Diane Anderson-Minshall
Forget showgirls, how to play craps and that cutethe-first-time-but-tiresome-the-bazillionth-timeyou-hear-it slogan about what stays in Vegas.
Here's what you will really need to know about
Las Vegas, the extravagance capital of Nevada.
Nobody here can give directions. I'm not even
sure they know themselves how to get around
since they offer directions, much like my grandmother in rural Idaho used to, such as, "It's right
around the block by that new building behind the
old Aladdin:' (Uh, hello? Not from around here.)
A few notes are important. If someone in Vegas
says that something is just next door, it's a mile
long walk. If they say it's around the block, they
mean it's practically another county, often down
an impossibly convoluted pathway with u-turns
and fountains, described by esoteric, seemingly
made-to-confuse euphemisms that will make
sense to your concierge (like "tum right at the bird
of paradise and under the rainforest, but when the
sky has lightening, take a left and it's right there"),
but not to you. Especially when you're drunk.
And it's Vegas, so unless you're in AA you'll be
58
I curve
drunk. Often. (Oh, and unless you're from Vegas
or say Miami Beach, your clothes will seem wholly
impractical here.)
Tonight I'm sitting in GirlBar Las Vegas surrounded by incredibly beautiful lesbians while a
petite, tanned, 60-year-old broad next to me is grin~g wickedly and stuffing dollars in G-strings of
the queer go-go girls. This is not Kansas, to be sure.
GirlBar is a weekly lesbian night (from those
LA gals who've turned the lesbian dance party
into a global brand) held at Krave, Las Vegas' only
queer nightclub on the strip. Nestled alongside
Lucky Cheng's (the only drag five-star dinner cabaret in Vegas), Krave is where folks around here
get the party started and on any given night it's
crawling with tourists and local queers ready to
put their thing down. Hence, the go-go girls and
the big tipper.
That tipping cougar is the venerable Babs
Daitch of Thanks Babs The Day Tripper, and it
would turn out that on this trip to Vegas I'd be
spending a whole lot of time with her. Daitch, an
out dyke and former San Francisco resident, is a
lot like a personal tour guide for the LGBT community. Daitch and John Forseth, the cute, gay vice
president of Las Vegas and More, a full-service,
destination management company that'll get you
anywhere or anything you want, orchestrate allinclusive personal and group "beyond the neon"
tours, like whitewater rafting expeditions on the
Colorado River, ATV or mountain bike adventures through the Valley of Fire and Red Rock
Canyon Pink Jeep Tours. I'm, well, not as adventurous as some gals, especially in 100-degree heat
(yes, it's a dry heat), so I opted for a drive through
historic Boulder City, a steamboat cruise on Lake
Mead and the all-American tour of Hoover Dam.
Armed with a giant cooler of drinks (including water) we hit the desert for an afternoon of
fun, exploring the Hoover's cavernous turbines,
sitting on the Desert Princess paddle wheeler taking snapshots, eating ice cream cones to cool off on
the hot summer day. Though we were a car full of
queers, the expedition felt delightfully kitschy and
retro, like a summer family vacation minus the
wood-paneled station wagon. By the end of the
day we weren't ready to part but I had to finally
enjoy my hotel and hit a show.
Walking into the Paris Hotel is a lot like walking in to Fantasyland at Disneyland. In fact, while
outdoor Vegas is hot, dusky, and neon, much of
indoor Vegas feels like an adult Disneyland-in a
good way. Climate controlled, crafted like a wonderland of French landmarks and street signs, and
teaming with people thrilled to be there, Paris was
no different. I wandered around for a couple of
hours along the cobblestone walkways and took
the 350-feet per minute glass elevator ride to the
top of the Eiffel Tower, a real replica that's 460 feet
high, about half the size of the original in France.
Lesbian couples go to Vegas to get married on
the Tower's observation deck, and no wonder;
at 40 stories high, it towers above Vegas with an
extraordinary view of Southern Nevada. And
you don't have to bring a wedding photographer
either, because like Disneyland there was a photographer ready to snap every place we went (even
the shows!).
I met a new friend at Le Burger Brassiere, a
gourmet French bistro that makes burgers from
hundreds of different ingredients like lamb and
salmon. I had a chicken burger with goat cheese
and a giant espresso shake, all served to me by, you
guessed it, a sexy girl in white vinyl go-go pants and boots. The
high rollers even have a lucky burger at Le Brassiere: a Kobe
beef and lobster hamburger that costs a whopping $777 (it does
come with a bottle of Dom Perignon).
After indulging, I'm headed to Paris' Spa by Mandara for a
signature hot stone massage that was so luscious I forgot what
planet I was on for a moment, much less which city. While not
quite as impressive as the Spa at Mandalay Bay, Mandara was
queer-friendly and erotically diverse combo of burlesque, cabaret, comedy and Cirque du Soliel-style acrobatics, at the New
York New York Hotel and Casino.
The next day I made it to brunch at the Bellagio where I
stared in wonderment at the whimsical gardens so long I forgot
all about the lengthy lines. If you want to see the other hotels
in town, an easy way to do so is to hit a Cirque show each night
of the week. Cirque du Soleil offers Beatles Love at the Mirage,
Zumanity at New York, New York, Mystere at
Treasure Island, 0 at Bellagio and Ka at the MGM
TonightI'm sittingin GirlBarLasVegassurrounded Grand, which means you can tour almost all of the
city's top hotels without booking a room.
by incrediblybeautifullesbianswhilea petite,
But, these ventures outside Paris did nothing to
dissuade
me from feeling like I was right at home
tanned,60-year-oldbroadnextto me is grinning
inside the luxurious resort hotel and casino that has
wickedlyand stuffingdollarsin G-stringsof the
one of the most aggressively gay-friendly policies in
queergo-go girls.Thisis not Kansas,to be sure. the city. Paris Las Vegas was already popular with
queers, but instead of resting on their laurels they
decided to market directly to us with dyke-centric
sumptuous, with soaking tubs and steam rooms and luxe sepaad campaigns, offemg a LG BT-specific site ( the only hotel on
rate women's areas. I'm weak in the knees by the time I hit my
the strip to do so), sponsorships of gay events like Gay Days and
suite for a lounge but by then I only have time for a quick bite
Nights and participation in gay Pride. While the uninhibited
because I'm off to the theater. It took me, oh, maybe five minnature of Vegas might draw the men, it's the romance of Paris
utes to get to the theater to see the Vegas production of The that brings the women. If a European destination is out of the
Producers,which explains why dinner and a show in Vegas is so budget, Paris Las Vegas offers up quant French bistros (Mon
popular. The next night I managed to fit two shows in: Jubilee!, Ami Gabi), Impressionist art and European opulence that make
Paris seem more romantic, safer and, yes, a bit sexier for lesbians
Baily's classic, 25-year-old showgirl hit (and yes, I saw more
than the other hotel resorts in town. But, don't think they'll be
boobies than I have at the last three dyke marches combined)
able to tell you how to get there either.
and the Cirque du Soliel naughty cabaret Zumanity, a super
····························································~
LOGON
BEFOREYOU GO
Paris Las Vegas
GayParislasVegas.com
Cirque du Soleil
Cirquedusoleil.com
Gay Days and Nights
gaydaysandnights.com
GirlBar
Gir1Bar.com
Harrahs
Harrahs.com
Las Vegas Vistor Info
VisitlasVegas.com
LuckyCheng's
702-836-0836
QVegasMagazine
QVEGAS.com
Thanks Babs Tours
Thanksbabs.com
October 2007
I 59
milwaukee'sbest,
hiddenin plainview
You don't havet~ likebeer to enjoythis Midwesterncharmer.
By Kelsy Chauvin .
60
I curve
This is not about dispelling the stereotype of Milwaukee as
frostbitten, Laverne & Shirley beer town/ cheese land. It is about
exploring real Milwaukee, a Midwestern charmer that's so regularly overshadowed it creates its own sunshine. The stereotype
will probably melt away on its own.
The first time I visited Milwaukee was last June, for its
three-day Pridefest. That right there was a surprise. Gay Pride
celebrated for a long weekend in a heartland city? Though I tried
to resist typecasting, my expectations began low, with visions of
ill-fitting jean shorts and foamy keg cups spread across a dinky
parking lot turned craft show.
Instead, I crossed the threshold of 75-acre Maier Festival
Grounds to find a mini-utopia. A half-dozen stages of live
music, from country and rock to folk and punk. Twenty-plus
food stands offer Milwaukee's best-known restaurants and
trademark fare. Thousands of queers from around the world,
chatty and giddy to be in this beautiful park on the shore of
Lake Michigan kicking off the summer.
It was a fabulous sampling of the city that was equal parts
fun and enlightening. Not often do you get a concentrated
immersion into local culture-both in general and in this case
gay specific-that represents the rest of the city so well. But
the atmosphere of Pridefest is bona fide Milwaukeean, in all its
generous, playful, proud glory.
Home to more than a half-million people, Milwaukee incorporated in 1846 and became a commercial Mecca thanks to its
spot on the western edge of Lake Michigan, with the Milwaukee
River flowing through its center.
It's those waterways that still help make the place appeal
to new residents and visitors. The three-mile, inordinately tidy
Riverwalk lines the great river as it winds through downtown
and beyond. Crafty local entrepreneurs capitalized on the resulting foot traffic by opening plenty of restaurants and bars along
the way, most with outdoor patios for people and boat watching.
Every weekend, Riverwalk Boat Tours and Rentals offers a tour
of the local micro-breweries parked at the river's edge.
The lakefront is a lovely destination, perfect for the active set.
More than six miles of biking, blading and walking trails line the
shore, passing the city's swimming and volleyball beaches, luscious parks, sports fields and public pools. There's also Juneau
Park, where you can rent a paddleboat or hydro-bike on the
lagoon. The Lakefront Trail doubles as a cross-country skiing
route in the winter.
And there's a lot more going on at the lakefront, the pinnacle
being the landmark Milwaukee Art Museum. The museum
itself has been around since 1957 and offers a solid collection
of contemporary art, including one of the country's largest by
Wisconsin native Georgia O'Keefe.
But the museum was really put on the map in May 2001.
That's when Spanish architect Santiago Calatrava's Quadracci
Pavilion opened. For $10 million, the pavilion extended southward the drab, boxy main building, adding more than 147,000
square feet and, more importantly, the Burke Brise Soleil. The
soleil. is the wing-like sun screen that opens daily with the
museum (weather permitting) and "flaps" daily at noon. The
wings are wider than a Boeing 747, and their 2,100 tons of steel
float weightlessly like a wonder of the world.
The pavilion's exterior is amazing in and of itself. The experience of standing inside the structure, atop the radiant marble
floor, absorbing the dappled natural light while suspended over
the lake's edge, is borderline mystical. And remember your camera: The place is a photography funhouse.
The art museum's extension is testament to the foresight
of Milwaukee's leaders. The architecture is, of course, astoundingly beautiful. But when the project began in 1994, Calatrava
was not the widely renowned architect he is now, and daring
urban architecture was neither as glamorous nor prevalent
as it is today. Back then, Calatrava had not yet built anything
in the United States, much less such an ambitious, moveable
structure like the Brise Soleil. But for this bold structure, local
checkbooks were brandished, and the city earned its place on
the international stage.
Many other architectural gems flavor the "Cream City;' so
nicknamed for the beige tint of its native-day bricks. Stunning
historic structures-evidence of Milwaukee's economic booms
and worldly residents, including the Italianate Chamber of
Commerce and Flemish Renaissance City Hall-date
back
more than 100 years.
More recent history has made the city home to a bevy of
peculiarities. Among them are the Holler House in south
Milwaukee, where downstairs you'll find two lanes that earn
the title of oldest certified bowling alley. If the fact that all the
beers run around $2.50 a bottle doesn't say old fashioned to
you, maybe the "pin boy" working behind the lanes will. Also
note the brassieres hanging from the rafrers. Nobody said they
don't get wild in Milwaukee.
Head downtown to save yourself at the Safe House.
Designed as a faux-secret haven for special agents, the Safe
SIP SOME
HISTORY
Milwaukee was
born in 1846,
with its founders
adapting the
Algonquian Indians'
name Millioki, or
"gathering place
by the waters." It
wasn't long after
that the city earned
its nickname "Brew
City." After all, Pabst
Brewing Company
poured its first beer
that same year, as
did Miller and Schlitz
just nine years later.
All three are around
today, though only
Miller stayed put
and now operates
the oldest stillfunctioning brewery
in the country.
October 2007
I61
··•··•·······+
NEW ADVENTURES
THE WORLD
COMES TO
MILWAUKEE
The Maier Festival
Grounds is home
turf for the "City
of Festivals,"
yet another
nickname earned
by Milwaukee
for its slew of
ethnic summer
celebrations.
Pridefest starts
it off early every
June, followed by
Polish Fest, Festa
ltaliana, African
World Festival,
Mexican Fiesta
and more. But the
biggest is the 11-day
Summerfest, which
draws a million
people each year to
hear artists on 10
different stages. It
holds the Guinness
World Record as
the world's largest
music festival.
62
I curve
House may be gimmicky, but it's so bizarrely fun there's no wonder it's a Milwaukee mainstay. You'll find it by the "International
Exports Ltd.;' plaque on its alley entrance, but it'll take either
the password or a secret test to enter. Once you're in, you can
ings can find their fun in the neighborhood known as Walker's
Point, which should cap off any girl's trip to Milwaukee. True,
there are other friendly bars and lesbian-themed nights at a
handful of clubs around town, as you'll see in the local indie
see a magic show, play blackjack, glimpse a piece of the Berlin
paper Shepherd Express. But this is the neighborhood joint
where you can play pool and chat up the locals. And it probably
Wall (no kidding) or just wander through the maze of rooms,
both secret and not. It'll cost you a quarter to escape through
won't surprise anyone to learn that the Miller (which is vegan!)
comes cheap.
the secret exit, though.
It's tough to see much wrong with Milwaukee, really, except
In a city built largely by German, Polish and Italian immigrants, you don't have to wander far to try a Usinger's sausage. maybe the same complaint that plagues many American cities: the car culture. With most everyone stuck on four wheels,
But you do have to head up to Brady Street, a thriving little lowthe sidewalks are woefully empty. Yet the city has many bike
key strip, to eat a saucy, meatball Italian Bomber at Glorioso's
deli. Maybe buy some antacids while you're there.
lanes, reasonable taxi rates and surprisingly regular buses whose
Brady Street also has nice shopping, be it boutique or vinroutes nicely link the aforementioned neighborhoods. Many of
tage. Stop by Annie's for classic clothes crammed from wall to
the central sights are walking distance from each other, espewall, or walk over to YellowJacket for the exact opposite in mercially via the Riverwalk.
chandising. This place could well be the tidiest, most organized
Upon leaving Milwaukee, I realized the problem with any
second-hand clothing shop in the world.
city of substance: I ran out of time there just as I was finding out
If shopping and strolling are your bag, don't miss the Third more good stuff to do.
Ward, aka Milwaukee's version of SoHo,
replete with warehouses turned condos. You
can duck into A Woman's Touch for something
REVVING FOR THE FUTURE
sexy to play with, wander into some of the city's
art galleries or peruse the local designers' wares.
Ever since its first motorcycle
Drop by the immaculate Milwaukee Public
rolled out of the original Milwaukee
Market at the Third Ward's north end for
factory in 1903, Harley-Davidson
freshly shucked oysters or a sampling of local
has been the elite bike maker of the
world. So it's only fitting that the
Wisconsin cheeses. But don't miss the aged
company will open its one and only
cheddar from the Wisconsin Cheese Mart, over
museum there in mid-2008.
on "Old World" Third Street.
Vegans and others untempted by meat offer-
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buffaloor ohio?
This lesbian rocker takes readers inside her crazy life on the road.
By Jennifer Corday
It all sounds so glamorous doesn't it? The rock and roll tour
bus, the post parties, the screaming girls? Truth is there is no
tour bus ... There are, however, after,hour parties and several
screaming girls and some occasional free drinks. Welcome to
my wonderful world on the road as a musician. I just released a
new record called Superhero, so I hit the road to spread the word
and promote sales, taking my routine from my normal Southern
California haunts to gigs in New York, Minnesota, Kentucky,
and Ohio. (I can't wait for my next trip to the Northwest.)
After what seemed like three days of flying across the U.S.,
I landed in Buffalo, New York and was greeted by Buffalo Pride
board members Michele and Nancy who recognized me right
off the plane, which is always a bit unnerving when I don't know
who I'm looking for ... We chatted it up while waiting for lug,
gage and I learned that Michele has a secret S & M leather
fetish. Nancy blushed and then ran into a co,worker and had to
Cl)
5
52
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...,
<(
pretend to be straight.
I travel with my partner Jamie, a professional artist and
photographer for CURVE, who is also a model (starring in the
latest Sprint commercial) so she's always turning heads. We
were delivered via Mercedes to a nice hotel and had just enough
energy for a couple ofLabatt's at the hotel lobby bar. Hotel bar,
tenders are great sources of information, and she even poured
us a couple on the house! The next day I performed at the Dyke
March, under a white tent at a park across from Ani DiFranco's
house. It was packed with ladies and I had the crowd going for
a couple of hours before calling it a night. I did a meet and greet
with fans, and signed many CDs and a few breasts-always
fun-before packing it up and heading to one of the two les,
bian bars for some post,party fun! We decided to start with Ms.
Kitty's, and had the pleasure of meeting the owner who bought
our first round. I found a joint on the bathroom floor (I gave it
away) and then discovered the patio-supposedly
the largest
one in Allentown, a beautiful raised deck and large grassy area
with a swing. We had a few tiny Rolling Rock beers and then
caught the drag show, which you don't want to miss if you're in
town (rnskittysbuffalo.com).Just to check out the competition,
we walked the two blocks to Roxy's (roxygirlsrock.com), which
was packed. The owner there was super sweet also and bought
us another round. The DJ announced my arrival and I felt like
a star ... until I had to wait in line at the bathroom. Roxy's had
hot bartenders, and great music and drinks, as well as an out,
door patio in the front. We stayed until closing time, walked a
few blocks to a 24,hour diner and then cabbed it back to the
hotel. The next day was parade day so Buffalo was abuzz with
excitement as the crowd gathered in the streets. We watched
the tail end of the parade from backstage and then I kicked it
in my tent in preparation to perform. I gave the drag queens in
the next tent my hairspray and watched them from backstage
before it was my turn to perform. I kicked off my shoes and
rocked out barefoot, singing my little heart out, and then got
off stage just in time before the rain came pouring down. What
timing! Our last day in Buffalo was great thanks to our tour
guides, Michelle and Nancy, who drove us to Ani DiFranco's
new headquarters, Righteous Babe Records. It was a beauti,
ful building, an old church she bought and renovated, and we
lucked out by getting the royal treatment with a tour from Scott
Fisher. After bonding with the babes, we had an hour to see
Niagara Falls, which is truly amazing in person.
My next stop was Cincinnati, Ohio and with no time to waste
I drove straight from the airport to my first gig, at Bullfishes,
Buffitlo or Ohio? continued on page 77
October 2007
I63
Reviews Sapphic Screen
I Want My Queer TV
I
Tune into Logo's lineup and the Brits' take on Buffy. By Candace Moore
Maude:TheComplete
(Sony
FirstSeason
Pictures
Home
Entertainment):
And
thenthere'sMaude...
Beforeshewasone
oflV's GoldenGirls,
BeaArthurwasthe
brash,bossy,baritone
powerhouse
Maude
Findleyin this'70s
spin-offof CBS'sAll in
theFamily.
A matriarch
in polyester
vestswho
ruledbehindherbrandy
glassandpointed
finger,Maudeservedas
creatorNormanLear's
anti-Archie
Bunker.
Shewasflagrantly
liberal,anoutspoken
feministwhoheldher Available online for download, through cable broadcast or On
hubby,Walter,under
Demand, these three shows prove the queer revolution has not
herthumb.Maudewas
only begun to be televised, it's got a sense of humor.
oneof a groupof early
sitcomsto introduce
homosexual
topicsand The Big Gay Sketch Show (Logo)
characters
in episodes Clutching a glass of wine, a butch (Julie Goldman of Mom
suchas"Maude'sNew and The D Word) gets comfy and calls an erotic phone service.
Friend"(1974) and"The The sex worker on the line rasps seductively about what she's
GayBar"(1977).While going to do ... politically. Every righteous act and vegan potseasonone'sepisodes luck described sends the caller's groin lustfully more a-wriggle.
tackLGBTQ
content, Executive produced by Rosie O'Donnell and directed by lesbian
theyintroduce
anedgy Amanda Bearse (Married with Children), The Big Gay Sketch
American
classic,full of
Show wins laughs through sassy, absurd exaggerations of popsocialrelevancy
for its
culture stereotypes, tropes and 15-minute stars. Nothing and no
time.Theunconventional characters
in Maude one-straight or queer-is exempt. Through parody, the show
arealwayslearning offers a canny retaliation against the unfunny gayjokes told since
fromeachother,if only time immemorial, as Logo's president Brian Graden explained to
afterairingscreaming The New York Times,"you repossess the platform. We know our
matches.
Butwhile culture better than anyone. We're going to be the joke-tellers this
its characters
often time." Additionally one signature skit each episode ribs television
realistically
losetheir past for missing, muted, or misguided representations of homos.
tops,theshownever We see what queer Honeymoonersor a heterophobic Archie from
quitelosesits senseof All in the Familywould look like, we even revisit The Factsof Life
humor.(sonypictures.
as they might better have been taught. Renewed for a second seacomlhomevideo)
- CM
64
Icurve
son starting early in 2008, the ensemble cast will add an element
of interactivity, allowing audiences to make online suggestions
for sketch material. (logoonline.com)
Hex (BBC America)
This British Buffy knock-off shifrs mythologies slightly. Rather
than a teen slayer policing a suburban Hellmouth, Ella Dee
(Laura Pyper), whose puffy-shouldered leather trench cries
"outdated;' is a 400-year-old savior sworn to foil fallen angels
and their poster boy, Malachi (Joseph Beattie). Thing is, Ella's
trapped in a 17-year-old body and her nemesis materializes as
a sizzling footballer who just transferred to her school. Always
watching on is lesbian ghost Thelma (Jemima Rooper), who
gives Ella advice generally more sound than that of the arch angel who acts as occasional cab driver. Within Hex's world, girl
ghosts (instead of witches) tend to be gay, perhaps a play on
lesbian (in)visibility? Thelma's the ears and eyes of Medenham
Hall-especially
of the ladies' washroom-until
she's distracted by a lady love, the new raven-haired ghost on the block
who joins her in eternity to lick cake and kiss fireside. But wait,
what's that tattoo on her girlfriend's neck? Might it be a malevolent mark? Square-jawed and asymmetrically shorn Thelma
struggles with either doing what's right or having her heart's desire. The characters in this show are addictively handsome, but
the eternal, Catholic guilt pitch of the plot is a little much for
the mediocre writing to handle. The expressly Euro-goth atmo-
U)'
Q.
...J
a
i5
z
ICl)
z
:c
0
--,
sphere and lovable queer specters still make this show worth a
peek, if you're a fan of fantasy. (bbcamerica.com)
Curl Girls (Logo)
Watch six Southern Californian lesbians of various maturity
levels ride the crests of dyke drama as they develop a surf
competition, ostensibly to provide their show with a pur,
pose. While the reality show's early episodes impose narrative
through personal interviews and relationship back stories, the
show hits its stride when it plain revels in itself as spectator
sport. With Curl Girls, time spent having cat fights and lov,
ers' spats, picking up chicks and showing skin at the hotel hot
tub or West Hollywood gay bar trumps time spent in wet
suits paddling for a wave. That's not to say that Logo's surf
show is devoid of surfing or surfers-save for two beginners,
these women are aggressive competitors in the water-and
their individual strengths on the board are showcased, if only
between cocktail party sequences. And Gingi, new to the sport
and to the girl group, quickly proves her mettle. The fascinat,
ing personalities of the show are not the camera hogs drum,
ming up its gleefully trashy pleasures, but the chill characters,
who hang back and occasionally hold their tongues (unless,
of course, a talking,to becomes overdue). Go figure that the
ladies with some impulse control end up the most in tune with
the waves. (logoonline.com)
Cathy DeBuono
I
ACTOR
I
Sexy actor Cathy DeBuono plays the hot dyke that two sisters end up fighting over in
Out at the Wedding. Perhaps a bit of typecasting? We asked the real,life lesbian about
playing Risa, the Jewish lesbian artist, electrician and double love interest in the film.
- Sheela Lambert
How did you hear about the audition?
Lee Friedlander [the director] and I had met about four years prior when she cast me
in a little indie project. She told me she pictured me in the role of Risa the whole
time she studied the script (by Paula Goldberg]. Whose interest wouldn't be peaked
after that?
What attracted you to the role?
I read the script and it literally made me laugh out loud. I loved so many things about
it: it's gay, yet it's universal, it's silly, yet it's romantic. It's sort of humanly holistic, in
that it's a comedy about family and falling in love that includes religion, ethnicity
and sexuality as things that can and do complicate our relationships. Besides, as an
actor I had yet to have the opportunity to play a role where I dance with the beauti,
ful girl and win her heart in the end, my inner seven,year,old was doing cartwheels,
I swear to God.
One of my favorite parts of the film is when they say "Where are we going to
get a lesbian? It's not like a lesbian's just gonna fall from the sky!" And then
you fall off a tall ladder right at their feet. It's hard to top an entrance like that.
Did you get hurt?
I worked on the fall with our stunt co,coordinator and I had a nice big fluffymat to land
on. It was certainly unnatural at first to allow myself to fall backwards off a ladder,
but after the first couple of times, it was like "Wee! let's do it again!" You're right,
though, to top an entrance like that it'd have to have like a dolphin and a tricycle or
something.
Cathy DeBuono continued on page 73
October 2007
I65
Hot Shorts for Chicks
It might be fall, but we still can see women in short shorts.
"My movie tries to shatter preconceived
notions that people have regarding housewives,
racism and affairs. And setting the movie in
suburbia is another way it breaks assumptions;
it just adds to the element of surprise. Viewers
will think this is a conventional, boring couple living in an upper-middle-class enclave. They typically will not expect the drama and comedy that
unfolds:' (hollywontproductions.com)
Women filmmakers are shaking up the
LGBT film festival scene with their
unique short takes on the humor and
drama of lesbian life. Our picks for best
women's shorts this year are below. SheelaLambert
Best Comedy Shorts
Commitment Ceremony (Smithy
Productions)
FairyTale(Hysterie
Prod)
Commitment Ceremony is a delight-
ful comedy based on Julie Goldman's
titular (no pun intended) rock anthem
spoofing the absurdity and unfairness
of same-sex couples not having equal
access to marriage. The film intercuts
hysterical scenes of Goldman proposing to her" very special, significant, really
good friend" during a romantic dinner,
attempting to carry her over the threshold (huffing and puffing up three flights
of stairs while singing that she would
fix her car-"because I'm butch!") and getting "commitment ceremonied"
among kvelling friends and relatives in Prospect Park with music-video-style
scenes on a Manhattan rooftop, where Goldman rocks out and goofs around
with her guitar player.
"My hope is to entertain and show how silly it is to make gay people use
different verbiage than their straight counterparts. It was also during the time I
was planning my own wedding and was so sick of both sides arguing about gay
marriage;' says Goldman. "No one gets a vote on my life. If I want to be married
to a woman and use the word 'marriage; as is my right as a tax-paying citizen of
this country, then it's my right. If you don't want to have a marriage, then don't
have one. To me, it's a matter of choice and human and civil rights. I will not accept anything but the same rights and privileges as every other citizen. I am over
it. I don't want to wait for my rights anymore." (julie-goldman.com)
Happenstance
(Hollywon't
Productions)
This film by Joyce Draganosky is about Beth, a white suburban housewife in New Jersey who receives a shock when her
son brings his new girlfriend home to dinner. Not only is she
black and an older woman, she is the woman with whom Beth
had a secret affair. Drama, comedy and a forbidden romantic kiss ensue. Draganosky's film won the Shout LGBT Film
Contest on HBO and was available on HBO On Demand for
the month of June.
Writer-director Draganosky says, "Happenstance is an
excerpt from one of my feature film screenplays. It's about a
suburban housewife and mother who must confront an adulterous affair she had a decade ago, when it comes back to
haunt her-as her son's new girlfriend-"
Many people think of bisexuality or interracial relationships as something that occurs only in large cities, but
Draganosky set Happenstancein the suburbs.
66 Icurve
This tale by Pepita Mars is a delightful French
twist on kissing a frog to find true love. A woman
hunting for Prince Charming kisses a frog who
turns into Princess Charming, sparking girl-girl
romance. (hysterieprod.com/princesse.html)
Flowersat theParle(EnikProductions)
Mariel Macia creates a comedic Spanish take on
a blind date in the park. Charming black-andwhite vignettes on a park bench show two young
aspiring lovers verbally sparring, exposing their
insecurities and, eventually, a kiss. (enikpro.com)
OldMaid(ThreeDollarBillProductions)
This is a classic thriller spoo£ in Hitchcockian black and white, about a dyke who
takes her weekly card game a bit too seriously.(gayco.com/threedollarbill.htm)
Nati'sRequirements
Roberto Caston spoofs personal ad videos, as Nati's requirements for a mate
get more and more specific-and more hilarious-as the video goes on. (youtube.com/watch?v=g_4XU]dxB_c)
Also notable in the comedy category were Worst Case Scenario:Butch Edition,
a Super 8 butch-etiquette primer by Mary Guzman, and CastratoDi Matteo's
Audition Tape, where director Laura Terruso plays all three roles: Castrato
Di Matteo (in male drag), his girlfriend and his mother. She showed up to
DVD PICKS
the screening at New Fest in male drag and answered all her Q&A questions
in character.
Best Dramatic Shorts
Pariah(NorthstarPictures,Inc.)
The winner of NewFest's Best Narrative Short Award and Frameline's Best
Short Award is a melodramatic coming-ofage drama about an African
American lesbian teenager who tries to hide her true butch self from her
family, until it all blows up in her face. Dee Rees shot on location in New York
City, and the film gets points for being a rare, all African American production. (pariahthemovie.com)
Backstroke
Amy Bronson creates a heartbreaking story of swimming, budding young love
and tragic separation, told in flashbacks. Julie and Rome meet in a psychiatric
hospital where they are both patients. Rome is in for amnesia, Julie for attempted suicide, but they've known each other before. Julie flashes back to
their first meeting at the pool and falling in love. One morning, when Rome
went out for breakfast, she got into an accident and never came back; spiraling
Julie into depression and a trip to
the psychiatric hospital. Rome
doesn't remember Julie and the
psychiatrist instructs Julie not to
tell Rome otherwise, for the sake
of her treatment. Rome senses
something is missing but has
no idea what it is. Julie's heart is
broken for the second time, when
Rome is sent upstate to another
hospital without her memories
returning. (justanotherfilmstudent
.blogspot.com)
Succubus(FreeSpiritFilms)
Alison Reid features a sexy cat
burglar in a flick with great
production values. A lesbian
couple who wants to have a
baby argue when the more
impatient parent-to-be
takes
matters into her own hands.
Part comedy, part Canadian drama, this short succeeds best in the comedic sections; but it's worth viewing just to see the sexy cat burglar climb a tree.
The feature-length version is currently filming.
(succubustheshorifilm.com)
Filled with Water(The VictorianCollegeof the Arts, Universityof
Melbourne)
This short by Elka Kerkhofs is a charming, animated, Aussie love story.
Wordless, the emotions are told visually,with music and with sighs. The main
character's state of emotion can be tracked by the heart-shaped space in her
chest, sometimes empty, sometimes full, sometimes throbbing. (filledwithwater
.blogspot.com)
LaLupe,QueenofLatinSoul
(Independent
Lens):LaLupe
wasanenigma.Andit is the
achievement
butalsosomehowthedisappointment
of this
rivetingdocumentary
thatshe
remainsjustthatthroughout
thefilm,to its veryend.The
legendary
Afro-Cuban
"Queen
of LatinSoul,"whoreignedNew
York'sLatinmusicscenein the
1960sand'?Os,hadso many
facettes,andhermusicalstyle
wasso unique,overthetop,and
in essenceincomprehensible
that
it seemsimpossible
for thefimmakerto trulyconveythe motivationsandpersonality
traitsthat
wouldshowthe iconasa human
being.Yes,thereis the povertyLa
Lupebothsprangfromandfell
intoagainlaterin life.Thereare
the manyinterviewswith people
whoknewherwell.Andstill,the
onlymomentwhenthewoman
herselfseemsto shinethrough
is duringoneof too-fewarchival
clipsof herself,the oneof herin
a quirky1973appearance
onthe
DickCavettshow.(pbs
.org//a/upe)-UrsulaSteck
makeit anylesspoignant.
It
is highentertainment,
which
nonetheless
makesonecringe
duringalmosteverysecondof it.
Malkovich
mercilessly
revealshis
character's
ruthlessness
aswell
as hisdeepself-hatred,
andthe
peoplewhomConway
deceives
areshownbothasvictimsof a
conmanandascasualties
of their
andmindless
owngreed,na'ivete,
hungerfor a partin theworldof
fameandfortune.(magpictures.
com)-US
Escape
to Canada
(Elevator
Films):"Whatif therewasa
placewheremarijuana
was
legal,wheregaypeoplecanget
married,womengotoplessand
waris a lastresort?"asksthis
documentary
aboutmynew
favoritecountry.Coincidentally,
bothmarijuana
andsame-sex
marriagewerelegalized
onthe
samedaybackin 2003,and
thoughit's beenfar fromsmooth
sailingfor eitherlegislative
act,
thisfilm makesit soundlikethe
Statesarejustsouthof utopia,
at leastby hippie-stoner-dyke
standards.
Escape
followsthe
movement
towardandobstacles
blockingCanada's
statusasa
ColorMeKubrick
(Magnolia
liberal,
live-and-let-live
oasis
HomeEntertainment):
John
Malkovich
shinesin all hiscampy with moresensiblepriorities,
fewerwarsandprobablymuch
gloryin thisoutrageous
film
aboutAlanConway,
animpostor betterpartiesthananyplace
governed
bytheBushregime.
whopretended
to bedirector
Inadditionto makingmewant
StanleyKubrick.Constantly
on
to packmybagsandheadnorth
the huntfor sex,moneyand
for theborder,thefilm outlines
attention,Conwayluresyoung
the harmandgeneralridicumaleartists,wannabes,
haveof theAmerican
drug
beensandinnocentbystanders
of lousness
with
thecelebritygameintohisglitzy policy,throughinterviews
nonviolent
offenders
whohave
yetpathetictrap.Themovietells
a "true... ish"story,andtherefore takenrefugeamongournorthern
neighbors.
(escapetocanada.ca)
can'tbe measured
againstany
- Catherine
Plato
factualtruth.Butthatdoesn't
October 2007
I67
Reviews In the Stacks
Youth Before Beauty
A classic lesbian author and new takes on the F--word. I By Rachel Pepper
Three new nonfiction books on feminist herstory ask us to
consider ages, waves, and academic standing to determine how
we can learn from one another to the betterment of all women.
EDITOR'S The LGBTQ movement asks itself similar questions, and this
PICK month, we also look at a novel that grapples with the question in
particular of what our community's responsibilities are to queer
Comfort
Foodfor
Breakups,Marusyayouth.
Bociurkiw
(Arsenal
Pulp):Thismemoirof a The Child, Sarah Schulman (Carroll & Graf)
hungrygirlskillfully
tra- Who are the children of the LGBTQ community, and what
versesdecades
andcon- are our responsibilities to them? This is the central theme of
tinents,weaving
together Sarah Schulman's gripping new novel, The Child. Schulman
authorBociurkiw's has always had a talent for depicting a historical moment in
personal
storywithfood, fiction before the rest of us have fully lived through it. Thus
familyandhistory.
Intiny a novel, in her hands, is never just a novel. As such, one must
vignettes,
noshes
evoke
take careful note of her nuances
a widerangeof memoand consider carefully the quesries(theknishes
that
recalla fatherhaunted tions she posits. It may help
byWorldWarII,the to know that The Child is not
chocolate
thatreminds really about a child at all, but
herof liaisons
in dim a 15-year-old, sexually active
lesbian
bars),andshows gay boy, Stew. Ignored and
howBociurkiw
usedfood misunderstood by his family,
to engage
withtheworld. Stew has become involved with
A wonderful
readforthe a man he met online, quickly
hungrygirlin allof us.
entangling them both in a per(arsena/pu/p.com)
ilous, then tragic, web of indifDiane
Anderson-Minshall
ference. Because of Stew's age,
some readers may be put off by
the story, but Schulman doesn't allow us to take sides easily
or paint any one person as·hero or villain. Instead, Schulman
makes us wonder: Why don't lesbians have decent health
card Why do our relationships falter? What does it mean to
create our own families out of love, and how much will we
sacrifice to preserve them? Why aren't professionals trained
to deal effectively with the issues of gay youth? Thought provoking, finely written and timely, The Child is a novel that
exposes some surface cuts in today's well-veneered LGBTQ
community. How we choose to bandage the wounds, and
make things better, is up to each reader to decide. ( carroll
andgraf com)
Full Frontal Feminism, Jessica Valenti (Seal Press);
Sisterhood Interrupted, Deborah Siegel (Palgrave
Macmillan); Feminist Waves, Feminist Generations,
Eds. Hokulani K. Aikau, Karla A. Erickson and
Jennifer L. Pierce (University of Minnesota Press)
68
Icurve
Books about feminism will likely be nothing new to many readers. Most of us probably have a few classics on our bookshelves.
Yet each generation of young women has its own definitions of
feminism and its concerns about what feminism should bring
them. For example, in Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Womans
Guide to Why Feminism Matters, written for teens and 20somethings, author Jessica Valenti, editor of Feministing.com
uses a wise-cracking tone to ask hard questions such as why
laser vaginal surgery is promoted as empowering. Citing a press
release from the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute in New
York that reads,"Today women are now exercising their rights to
sexual equality due to innovative vaginal surgeries:' How, wonders Valenti, did the cult of beauty become equal rights? And
why are reproductive rights still under fire? She also explores
some of the stereotypes of the different "waves" of feminism,
and cuts to the quick of critics
who say that today's women
are not feminist enough when
she writes, "Third wave feminists are as serious as those who
came before us, really. What I
love about the third wave is that
we've learned how to find feminism in everything-and make
it our own:'
Valenti's book is delivered
in just the right format for contemporary young women. Many
of the same issues are raised in Sisterhood Interrupted: From
Radical Women to Grrls Gone Wild, but in a more academic
style. Third-wave feminist and author Deborah Siegel asks her
readers to consider what feminism means, and she provides a
detailed history of some of the accomplishments and conflicts
among women leaders of the second and third waves. Siegel positions her arguments generationally, and she acknowledges that
feminists disagree on important issues such as pornography and
lesbian rights. Yet, she says, "Feminist conflict, has, in the past,
been productive'' for the cause of women's rights, bringing media
attention, along with progress, to the cause, thereby integrating
feminist ideas into wider society.
Finally, Feminist Waves, Feminist Generations: Life Stories
from the Academy is clearly a book intended for academic use.
A collection of essays from female and male feminist-oriented
researchers and teachers, it examines the effect of coming-ofage feminists, third-wave, on academics today. With essays
like "Mixed-Race and Third-Wave Feminism," "Negotiating
Feminist Futures;' and "Poisoned Ivy;' (about the status of
openly LGBTQ faculty on college campuses), this collection
will no doubt find its place on the shelves, and in the hands,
of young feminist scholars. (sea/press.com),(upress.umn.edu) and
(palgrave-usa.com)
PAGE TURNERS
the incarceration
industry,is
at timestestimonyor prayer,
at timesaffectionate
address,
andat timespoliticalmanifesto.
Thesecollagepiecesboth
capturethe despairof lifeon
the insideandmakea stunning
casefor poetry'spowerto
inspirechange.In a poemset
in Angola,the Louisiana
State
Penitentiary,
Wright'slines
Virgin:TheUntouched
History, movebetweensocialobservaHanneBlank(Bloomsbury
tionandpoliticalcommentary:
USA):Weall knowwhata
"Saturdaynight/Going
to Walvirginis, right?Wemaythink
Mart/Satisfaction
guaranteed/
we knowthedefinitionof this
Over6 trillionserved,2 million
loadedtermbut,as Hanne
putaway/Itgetsold/thewaywe
Blankshowsin hernewbook,
dothings."In "ModernTimes,"
virginityis a lot morecomplex
observation
turnsto embodied
thanit appears.Blank'swidereflection:"BEJUST:inscription
ranging,scholarlybutreadable madebythe harrow/Pour
all
AUTHOR,RADIOPERSONALITY
studydemonstrates
that,far
the bloodbackintothe earth/A
frombeinga monolithic,
stable woman'shandwill closeyour
category,the conceptof virgin- eyes."(coppercanyonpress.org)
Though Jen Austin, radio personality at Mix 102.9 and Pride Radio in Dallas, Texas,
ity hasvariedwildlyacross
- JuliaBloch
time.Infact,as Blanktellsthe
didn't "officially"come out until she was 22, she admits that there was never a straight
storyof the 2005murderof
moment in her life. Her experience of soul searching, church searching and pairing up,
JasmineArchie,12,murdered
plus a seemingly unlikely combination of religion and homosexuality, led her down
byhermotherfor losingher
a path of intense self-evaluation. The result was the soul-baring book, Coming Out
virginity,we seethatvirginChristian.- LyndseyD:Arcangelo
ity is notjust a fluidcategory,
butalsoa feministone.Inthis
How did your faith play a role in your coming-out?
sense,Blank'sbookis trulyan
Faith has always been an important part of my life, and it was my biggest obstacle. I can't
activistwork.(bloomsburyusa.
remember a moment in my life when I haven't felt the presence of God. So when the
com)- Elizabeth
A. Allen
Jen Austin
I
Rebel'sQuest(Supreme
Constellations
BookTwo),Gun
Brooke(BoldStrokesBooks):
If thewholepointof romance
novelsis to keepthe maincharactersawayfromeachotheruntil theycouldpotentially
vaporize
frombarelysublimated
lust,
youcan'tdo muchbetterthan
GunBrooke'ssetupin Rebel's
Quest.ShepostsRoshan
O'Lantha,
resistance
fighteron
the occupiedGantharian
planet,
oppositean insurgence
from
AndreiaM'Aldovar,
collaborator
withthe invadingOnotharian
government.
Eventhoughthis
is a sci-finovel,youneverlose
sightof thecharacters'human
yearnings.
(boldstrokesbooks.
com)-EAA
FreshTracks,
Georgia
Beers
Your
(BoldStrokesBooks):
usuallesbianromanticformula-girl with issuesmeets
girl withtragicpast-does not
applyto GeorgiaBeers'Fresh
Tracks.Insteadof tracking
two flawedbut immediately
lovableheroines,FreshTracks
broadens
its scopeto include
notjustthe nominally
central
outdoorswoman
Amy,but
herwife,herfriendsandher
nieceaswell.Thestorynever
descends
to a melodramatic
angstfest; instead,thefocus
switcheseachchapterto a
differentcharacter,
allowing
for a measured
paceanddeep,
sincereexploration
of each
thoughts.Beers
OneBigSelf:AnInvestigation, protagonists'
to
C.D.Wright(Copper
Canyon): givesa welcomeexpansion
Wright'sbook,inspiredbyvisits the romancegenrewith her
clear,sympathetic
writing.
with Louisiana
prisonersand
(boldstrokesbooks.com)
- EAA
byresearchintothe politicsof
I
gay feelings started to well up, it really freaked me out. I thought one of the identities-either faith or sexuality-would have to go. I didn't see how a person could be
both gay and Christian at the same time.
How were you finally able to reconcile your sexuality and your faith?
The moment I first realized that it was other Christians who were condemning me as a
lesbian, and that the condemnation was not coming from God, it became a whole lot
easier to approach my faith.
How did coming out as a Christian evolve into a book?
It was actually my partner, Angela, who urged me to write the book. This was the book
that I needed as I was coming-out. I felt like most of the books out there at the time
were so overwhelmingly academic that it made them less relatable.
What kinds of things do you write about that gay Christians can relate to?
Um, dating men, though I often thought largely of my grocery list and other to-do list
items because I lacked any emotional connection, dating women while hearing the
symphonies and feeling the sparks (and] hunting for a church of acceptance and
love, all the while asking God for direction.
Would your book be beneficial to straight Christians?
My grandma and I have never really had a long conversation about my being a lesbian,
but this book was able to initiate some conversation. She said, "No sir, I don't have
anything against gay people, but I've never really understood it. But now, reading this
... I think I'm beginning to:• If this book can plant a seed, then I've done my job.
How has having such a revealing book published affected your personal life?
There are parts of the book that are less than flattering, and it's not easy to release those
things into the world (especially for a control freak like me). But at the same time if
my foibles can help someone else become stronger, then it will all be worth it.
October 2007
I69
Reviews Music Watch
Diversity Rules
I
These artists offer a wide spectrum of musical styles. By Margaret Coble
Surface,
Deb
Hunseder
(JodyGray
& Deb):"Yourworldwill
getturnedupsidedown,
getturnedaround,but
you'llbealright."So
beginsDebHunseder's
first soloCD.Surface
coversa widerangeof
musicalgenres,making
it suitablefor a variety
of settings.Guitarand
drumsgive"A New
Song"analternative-rockfeel,while
Hunseder's
voicelends
it a touchof pop.The
combination
is sureto
gethipsa-swayingand
feeta-tappingat a bar.
"Comeon Over"would
makea greatanthem This month's featured CDs are spread out along the spoken
for a girls-onlySunday
word to hip-hop, queer to straight continuums. Lenelle Moise,
barbecue.
Thesonghas
a fiercely out dyke of color, is obviously influenced by the jazz
a countrytwang,but
the lyrics"Girlsin biki- and hip-hop canons, but presents her material in more of a
nis/Come
on/Come
on performance-art, slam-poetry style. Georgia-based trans man
overandhavea warm Katz, aka Athens Boys Choir, goes a little further in the homooneon me"set it apart hop direction, incorporating guitars, a cello, and various turntafromyourusualcountry ble samples and beats. The queer black men of Oakland's Deep
melodies.
"InvisibleGirl" Dickollective have been leaders of the homo-hop movement
is a sadconfessional since day one, with a West Coast-conscious rap style born of
aboutloneliness,
which the spoken-word and slam-poetry traditions. Finally, we throw
mightmakeit cathartic in the straight white girls of Northern State, who return in glowhenyou'rehome
rious form to their old-school meets feminist rap roots.
aloneona Fridaynight.
Whatever
yourmoodor
locale,Surfaceshould Madivinez, Lenelle Mo"ise (Self-released)
havejustthetrackfor Incorporating singing, scatting and storytelling into her theyou.(debhunseder.com)atrical spoken-word delivery, Northampton-based Haitian
- MariaGinsbourg American slam poet and performance artist Moise titles her de-
70
Icurve
but CD after the Creole word for "dyke."The title cut poignantly
recounts her discovery of the word "madivinez;' resulting in her
whole-hearted embrace of it as her identity: "Glamorous. Holy.
Haitian dyke heart/Something I want to be:' The rest of the
disc's 15 tracks are similarly piercing, covering territory both
intimate and political, meeting at the intersection of race, class,
gender, sexuality and culture. Opening with a vivid and powerful piece about Hurricane Katrina, "September 4, 2005;' a
detailed person-on-the-streets narrative encapsulating the ex-
perience of having lived through the horrendous manmade disaster, the album goes on to feature the mostly sung and scatted
'i\.dantic Soul;' the cunnilingus-themed "Distractions;' and 'i\.ve
Maria" reminiscent of Sweet Honey in the Rock. Personal faves
include the album-closing, jazzed-up rendition of "We Shall
Overcome;' titled "Second Coming;' and the badass, not-takingit-anymore anthem, "The Fuck You Now Manifesto:' Amen,
sister. (lenellemoise.com)
Jockstraps and Unicorns, Athens Boys Choir
(Twinkle Toes Records)
Being an out tranny in the South can't be easy, but Katz, the
sole member of Athens Boys Choir, eloquently makes art out
of experiences good and bad on this, his fourth CD. The album
opener, 'i\.thens, GA;' sets the scene geographically as well as
musically, with old-timey piano, whistling and tap-dancing taps
accompanying his verbal vignette depicting life in his hometown.
Tracks like "Daffodils and Macrame" and "Homocoming King"
are strictly spoken, no music at all, while others ("Erasing Too
Hard;' "If You Can Dream It") offer guitar, cello and/ or turntable accompaniment. Katz's clever trannyfication of Sir Mixa-Lot's "Baby Got Back;' tided "Tranny Got Pack;' is a humorous, booty-shaking highlight, with "Technology Rulz" being the
album's other danceable groove. Don't miss the hidden track, a
satirical analysis of a Fred Phelps soundbite that pokes fun at the
infamous hatemonger. (athensboyschoir.com)
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On Some Other, Deep Dickollective (Sugartrack
Recordings)
It may seem odd to feature a hip-hop band consisting of several gay black men in a lesbian magazine, but Deep Die (as they
are often abbreviated) has a surprisingly large dyke audience.
Why, you ask? Well I'd venture to say because they are good.
Brilliant, even. With a West Coast-flavored style that they call
"chocolate-colored rainbow sound;' Deep Die takes on issues
of race, class, queerness and masculinity on this fifth album
release via tracks such as "Butchqueen;' "Negrolosophy" and
"Ghetto Rainbows:' The album is littered with more abstract
interstitial pieces, called "Innerlubes;' often sampling film
and TV soundtracks, like "He's Trade (Innerlube Six)" and
"Let Them Eat Cakes (Innerlube Seven):' The album-closing
cut, "For Colored Boys" ends the song cycle by riffing off of
chorea-poet Ntozake Shange's "For Colored Girls Who Have
Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf;' making it a
goosebump-inducing anthem for black fags everywhere. If you
like your rap smart, queer, and danceable, then definitely give
this a spin. (deepdickollective.com)
Can I Keep This Pen?, Northern State (Ipecac
Recordings)
With guest appearances by performance artist Murray Hill
(''The Three Amigas"), guitar phenom Kaki King ("Fall Apart"),
and harpist and electronic whiz Katie Cassidy, plus production
help by Chuck Brody (Wu Tang Clan, Yoko Ono) and Adrock
of the Beastie Boys, the new album from Long Island MCs
Sprout, Hesta Prynn and Spero gets back to their old-school
rap roots and at the same time branches out to some more rocking sounds on this third studio album. "Mic Tester" and "Ooh
Girl" start things off in the group's typical girl-gang rap style,
while cuts like the friendship anthem "Better Already" are on
more of a Le Tigre electro-rock kinda vibe. ''AwayAway;'a love
song of sorts, falls into a more mellow, downtempo category,
along with the mesmerizing "Run off the Road:' And surprisingly, politics find their way into a few cuts, too, such as the
President Bush-referencing "Cowboy Man" and the apathy critique "Cold War;' which asks the question: Whatever happened
to "Fuck tha Police?"Indeed. Love it! (northernstate.net)
Denise and Donna
I
PODCASTERS
I
Blogging fans have a new duo to love: Denise and Donna, hosts of The Lesbian Lounge
on GaylnternetRadioLive.com. A year-old weekly show that covers"all things lesbionic;'
Lounge goes from gossipy news to interviews with Hollywood celebs and, er (shameless
self-promotion here) CURVE editors, plus the U-Haul moment of the week and personals critiques such as "Denise Cruises the Personals:' We chatted with Denise about her
show, which listeners can log in to via the Lounge's chat room and get on air during the
show. Radio never sounded so good; tune in Wednesdays at 9 p.m., ET, if you want in
on the fun. - Diane Anderson-Minshall
Tell me about starting out.
We had come from another Internet station and the transition was almost seamless. I
had honored my contract with them, and within a week, had a contract with G.I.R.L.
Radio, gathered up Donna and said, "Let's go up to Orlando and meet the team!"
How many people are tuning in?
It's hard to accurately gauge how many are listening to the live show on Wednesday
night, because we can't track folks listening through MySpace, or igayradio(.com)
or Out In America's 200 Web sites. We do know we're averaging at least 400 to 500
downloads per week of the podcast, though.
Tell us how you got started.
I was doing an adult-oriented show for another station, and after 26 weeks of being someone the station created, a rather obnoxious female Howard Stern-type, I realized I
didn't like faking it. So, as I neared the end of my contract, I developed The Lesbian
Lounge, which was my way of spreading information globally for gay and lesbian business owners and families. My target was women who didn't have time to go out for
their entertainment and information. I wanted a show that focused on lesbian businesses, music; Donna's forte (is) hangouts, news and events. This way, if women have
kids, or they work days or they're sick of the bar scene, they can tune in to us while
they e-mail, or pay bills online or whatever. You can listen to us ... at home in (your)
boxer shorts.
Where are your listeners?
Right now, our strongest following is in Florida, and the East Coast, mostly because we
do many local events. We've been fortunate enough to hook up with POWER UP
in Los Angeles to help promote their films, so we're slowly gaining some West Coast
listeners!
What's next?
We're getting a lot of requests to do live broadcasts .... We'll also be releasing our very
first CD. Check us out at myspace.com/thelesbianlounge.
October 2007
I 71
KATRINA
Riding the Waves
Songs move us for different reasons. In some cases, we appreciate a
song for the composition itself while in others it's more that a song
takes us back to a specific place and time that we remember fondly.
"Walking on Sunshine;' the 1985 smash by Katrina & the Waves,
is one of my favorites for both reasons. I can appreciate it for being
the catchy, well,produced pop song, but beyond that, because it was
dominating the airwaves the week that I asked out my college girl,
friend, Sara: It reminds me of a special time in my life.
I first met Katrina Leskanich, the singer and frontwoman of
Katrina & the Waves, in December of 2003 while vacationing in
London, almost two decades after "Walking on Sunshine" made an
OTHER LICKS
ShakeYourself
Awake,Ms.Led
(FishtheCatRecords):
Seattle's
politicalpop-punks
arebackin fine
form,broadening
theirrangefrom
theirtrademark
callsto action("New
Agenda")
to '6Osgirl-groupgarage
("Upto OldTricks")andevena ballad
("Fools").(msled.com)
MyDenial,NyaJade(Katako
Records):
Miningmusicalterritorysomewhere
betweenJoan
Armatrading
andIndia.Arie,
NyaJade
offersa debut12-cutdiscof hookfilledR&Bballads,acoustic-based
rock,andsoulfulalternapop.
"One
Pill,"thelead-offsingle,is a bluesy
critiqueof ourdependence
onselfmedicating,
andthefeel-good"Live"
is moreradio-friendly
fare,whilethe
soaring"Home"andfunky,rocking
"Molasses"
arepersonalpicks.
(nyajade.com)
impact on me. Not only is she a musical talent, but she is a warm,
witty and open person.
Katrina & the Waves were a London,based quartet. They
released three major,label albums between 1985 and 1990 and
had a string of moderately successful singles. But in America, the
band always remained best known for "Walking on Sunshine:' Still,
despite being considered an '80s act by many, Katrina & the Waves
actually survived intact until 1998. Their breakup was not a pleasant
one. In fact, Leskanich describes the aftermath as "lawyers, guns and
money for three years:' Eventually, though, the dust settled.
In the early 2000s, Leskanich tried to get a record deal on her
own. But despite having both significant name value and high,qual,
ity material, it was to no avail. "For many years, [I was] banging my
head against the wall, trying to get a deal;' she admits. "I sent out
250 CDs and heard back from precisely no one:' Leskanich finally
decided to take matters into her own hands and released her debut
solo album, tided simply Katrina Leskanich,on her own label last
year. Currently, it is available through her official Web site, katrinas
web.com, as well as through Amazon.
The first single from Katrina Leskanichwas a cover of the Kirsty
MacColl classic'They Don't Know" (made popular on these shores
by Tracey Ullman). Leskanich's version, a sparse, lovely ballad, was
her tribute to MacColl, who died prematurely in 2000. The rest of
the album runs the gamut, from the percolating pop,soul of 'J\11
That Matters" to the cryptic stream of consciousness of "Watch:' It's
a musically diverse project; what ties it together is Leskanich's voice,
which is exemplary throughout.
These days, Leskanich is still based overseas. She tours
frequently there and recently finished a string of Norway dates with
fellow '80s icon Paul Young. When she's not performing, Leskanich
enjoys life with her partner, Sherry, and their menagerie of animals.
"Sherry and I met in a pet shop in Camden;' she remembers. "I
had Peggy Lee, my poodle, with me, and Sherry was talking to the
parrots in the shop. She said hello and I thought she was talking to
me, but a chorus of 'hellos' returned from some African Grays and
huge red and blue Macaws. We had a laugh, which turned into four
and a half years of the greatest joy I have known in a relationship:'
- Dave Steinfeld
72
Icurve
PerfectHandful,
JennLindsay
(self-released):
Released
intandem
withthepreviously
reviewed
(and
enjoyed)
UphillBothWays,
this
latestfromtheBrooklyn
antifolkieis
justasdelicious
asthe last.Check
out"MiracleThing,"anodeto Ani
Difranco;thealbumopening"Got
MyBaby,"anangstysingle-girl
anthem;andthewhimsicalyetachingheartbreaker,
"Don'tYouKnow."
(jennlindsay.com)
TheCentreWillHold,SwanIsland
(Holocene):
Describing
theirsound
as "endof theworldworldmusic,"
thisPortland-based
queerquintet
servesupa distinctively
darkbrew
of PacificNorthwest
DIVpunkmixed
witholdschoolmetalthat'ssurprisWasted
Ladies,WhenGirlsCollide inglyhypnotic.LeadsingerBrisa
(Crushm):NowbasedinAustin,
Gonzalez's
haunting
vocalsmakeit
formerEuropean
newwavepioneer morethanmemorable.
(swanisland
LCMessinger
(unknown
gender)
love.com)
deliversa sublime,grittyandeclectic
soloeffortthat'sgota twangy,
bluesysoul,a darkheart,andan
offbeatsenseof humor.(whengirlscollide.com)
BillieHoliday:
Remixed
&
Reimagined
(Legacy):
These
remixtributesto musicaliconsof
yesteryear
canbehit or miss,or a
littleof both,likethis14-cutset.The
mesmerizing
downtempo
treatment
of "Summertime"
byOrganica,
andLadybug
MeccaandRoland
Richards'
hip-hopmeetsswingreinterpretation
of "Spreadin'
Rhythm"
standoutascohesive,
inventive
andmodern,whiletoomanyof the
othersgetlostintheirattemptsto
reinventclassicsounds.Youdecide.
(legacyrecordings.com)
Beneath
theWatchful
Eyes,Arthur
LovesPlastic(MachineHeart):Out
D.C.areaDJ-producer-composer
Bev
Stantonis nothingif notprolific.And
consistent.
Howdoesshedoit?This
latest15-trackopusis yetanother
sumptuous
chapterin herlifelong
electronic
obsession.
(arthurloves
plastic.com)
- Margaret
Coble
Cathy DeBuono continued from page 65
You had to kiss two gorgeous women in one movie. What was
that like?
It was hell.
You had a sexy love scene with Desi Lydic, who plays Jeannie. Was
there any difference between playing the scene with her and similar
scenes with men you have done?
Well, the first obvious thing is that I more readily identify with Risa's sexual,
ity. Desi and I found an authentic connection with each other and that can
make all the difference. Plus she never forgot to shave, and I didn't have to
deal with five o'clock shadow, that can really irritate your skin.
You have amazing shoulders. How did you come by them?
I played Division I Volleyball at the University of Kentucky on a full scholar,
ship until I blew out my ACL [anterior cruciate ligament] during a match.
I was being courted by the National (U.S. Olympic] team at the time, but
my injury put an end to all that.
I heard that Ashley Judd influenced your acting career, is it true?
Yes, I met Ashley when I auditioned for some student,directed plays at UK,
and she cast me in hers. She was adorable and quirky with her braces and
rubber bands and I distinctly remember being struck by her obvious intel,
ligence right away. She was fun and silly,she used to climb up on my back
like she was scaling a tree and just point to where she wanted me to go.
I did not, however, put two and two together that The Judds were her mom
and her sister until it came up much later. I grew up on Madonna and Pat
Benatar, I knew nothing about country music. She pulled me aside for a
talk. She wanted to encourage me to continue acting, she expressed to
me the things that drew her to cast me in her play and her opinion that
I "belonged on the big screen:' She was passionate about it and generous
and gracious and when someone you've come to respect tells you things
like that, you tend not to forget it.
You have a master's degree in clinical psychology. Do you ever
use it?
When I decided to go to graduate school I had been in the acting field for
a few years. I had just concurrently lost a very dear friend to suicide and
watched my dad succumb to a fight with lung cancer, and the world looked
different to me after that. I felt compelled to explore and expand myself. I
have worked as a therapist in counseling centers, in a prison with juvenile
offenders, in a high school for severely emotionally disturbed teenagers and
in centers for adults dealing with addiction. When I got the job on Out at
the Wedding I was seeing clients in private practice, so I scheduled all of
my clients on the weekends and days when I wasn't shooting in order to
accommodate doing both jobs. Psychotherapy is fascinating work; it is an
eloquent mix of both art and science, and I love it. People come to therapy
to explore their truth, and they share their vulnerability with you and al,
low you to be a cog in the machine of their own self,discovery and healing
process. It never ceases to feel like an honor to be trusted with that.
Are you single? Partnered? Planning to have kids?
I do have a girlfriend, a wonderfully supportive and beautiful girlfriend. And
we do talk about becoming parents, but it's not like a baby is just gonna
fall from the
October 2007 j 73
Reviews
Tech Girl
High--definition Hollywood
I
These players give the clearest, sharpest view of your favorite leading ladies. By Elle Kaycee
High-definition video will eventually send standard DVDs the way of the laser disc, but there's still the question of whether to go with Blu-ray or HD
DVD discs. The most important differences? Blu-ray discs hold more information than HD DVDs, at a higher cost. Although the format war rages
on-Blu-ray or HD DVD is the modem-day VHS vs. Betamax debate-there are plenty of options out there for your viewing pleasure.
Btu-ray, embraced by kids and adults alike
The Samsung BD-P1200 Blu-ray player offers up a crystal-clear
picture, also plays music CDs and standard DVDs, and has an
Ethernet port for future updates. And if you're looking for high-def
porn, Blu-ray has been embraced as the format of choice for the
adult-video industry. (samsung.com,$600)
HD DVD on the cheap
Like the Blu-ray, Toshiba's budget HD DVD player, the HD-A3,
offers high-res viewing, a port for firmware updates down the road,
and support for standard music and movie discs, but at half the
Samsung's cost. If you want in the game now, without risking too
much dough, this is the way to go. (toshiba.com,$300)
Combo systems cover all possibilities
For the indecisive or noncommittal (with money to burn), the LG
BHlO0 plays for not two but three teams: Blu-ray, HD DVD and
standard-definition DVDs. But, unable to play music CDs, it falls
short of being an all-in-one disc player despite its high price tag.
(us.lge.com,$1,300)
Game systems that do double duty
Microsoft offers an add-on Xbox 360 HD DVD player for its
high-definition game system that supports picture-in-picture
viewing and hybrid-disc recording for dual-layer discs allowing for
standard DVD resolution on one side and high-def on the other.
Sony's PlayStation 3, which debuted as the cheapest Blu-ray player
on the market at the time, also offers next-generation game play
and a built-in hard drive. Both are available in multiple capacities.
(xbox.com,starts at $300; playstation.com,starts at $500)
FOUNDING
COMPANIES
HDDVD
BLU-RAY
Universal,Paramoont,
WarnerBros.,
Microsoft,Intel
Sony,Dell,Panasonic
1•11ng1e--,
3088dualta,11'
258Bllngle..,..,
BrolcBbaclc
Mountain
KissKiss,BangBang
Runningwith Scissors
Sllsnceof the Lambs
5088dull..,_
(_)
§
(_)
Toshiba's HD-A3 budget player
LGBTINTEREST
MOVIES
AVAILABLE
Million DollarBaby
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74
I
curve
I Tried It Reviews
Takeout, Take a Hike
Kick the takeout habit, learn to cook. I By Jodi Helmer
I used to survive on frozen dinners, boxed macaroni and takeout. The only
vegetables I ate came covered in cheese on the top of a pizza, and fruit was a
luxury to be found only in Sunday brunch buffets, never in my fridge.
Then I got cable. I became obsessed with watching celeb chefs move
through the kitchen measuring, chopping, sauteing and stirring. The look of
pure delight on their faces while they were cooking made me curious: Could
I enjoy cooking, too?
I decided it was time to find out. I prided myself on being an independent
career woman of the 21st century, not a 1950s Betty Crocker,type, so at first
I was reluctant to strap on an apron and set foot in the kitchen.
I was also nervous that after years of conscientiously avoiding the kitchen,
I might look like a total culinary failure. I started out slowly,getting used to
reading recipes, measuring ingredients and timing the outcome. I made a lot
of mistakes; I burned banana bread and underbaked cookies, but I also had a
few successes. And, though I didn't want to admit it, I was enjoying myself.
I became obsessed with the Food Network and started experimenting
with simple stews and complex seafood dishes. I added items to my grocery
list that I'd never heard of: lemongrass, saffron, dry mustard. I took great
care in selecting ingredients at the grocery store, shopping for milk, yogurt,
vegetables and whole grains, skipping the aisles filled with frozen pizza and
sugary cereal. I even started waking up early on Saturday mornings to shop
for locally grown organic produce at the farmer's market.
Suddenly I was eating home,cooked meals on Fiesta dinnerware, instead
of scooping plastic forkfuls of processed food from styrofoam containers. I
stopped eating out five nights a week and started staying home, clipping reci,
pes, watching Iron Chef and searching online for new cookware.
As I began experimenting with new foods, my eating habits changed.
Instead of noshing on potato chips, I crunched on apples; I silenced my sweet
tooth with yogurt instead of cookies and learned that fresh fish tastes far
better than a burger that's been sitting beneath heat lamps at a fast food res,
taurant. And then something else happened, something I didn't anticipate: I
started to lose weight.
The waistbands of my pants started to feel loose, and I could go out to
dinner without having to undo the top button of my jeans. With no scale in
the house to test my theory, I had to wait until a visit to the doctor before my
suspicion was confirmed: I had lost eight pounds, effortlessly. In the process
of learning to cook, I'd changed the way I eat.
Selecting recipes, shopping for ingredients and measuring portion sizes
not only gave me control over what I was eating; it made me feel empowered
to make good choices. When I stopped relying on the neighborhood diner
for nourishment, I expanded my eating habits to include new foods. I tried
new combinations and gained an appreciation for homemade food with fresh
ingredients, something I couldn't do when dinner came from a box. My taste
buds developed an affinity for foods that weren't riddled with pesticides, pre,
::.:: servatives and packaging.
I've graduated from a single pot and frying pan to a well,stocked kitchen
with appliances I never dreamed I would own. The rice steamer, paella pan,
blender and food dehydrator are all in regular rotation and it's not uncom,
mon for me to use two burners and the oven for a single meal.
i;S
co
I'm still making mistakes and won't be opening my own restaurant in the
(.)
I pridemyselfon beingan independent
careerwoman of the 21st century,not a
1950s BettyCrocker-type,so at firstI was
reluctantto strapon an apronand set
foot in the kitchen.
near future, but I'm gaining confidence in my cooking skills. I'm no longer
afraid to venture into stores that stock only kitchen gadgets (I've even been
known to make a purchase or two), I've amassed quite a collection of cook,
books and I find myself musing about what I'll make for dinner. In just a few
short lessons, I've graduated from a plump purveyor of takeout to a lean, mean
cooking machine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a souffie in the oven.
October 2007 j 75
Coming Out to Your Parents continued from page 31
Swimming With the Dolphins continued from page 53
The Odds Are on My Side continued from page 57
Try to get your parents interested in gay-oriented
events in the community to see how normal and
varied gay people really are. Get them involved in
PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and
Gays), although taking your conservative, upset
folks directly from the conversation to a drag queen
strip show is not a good idea at this junction.
or give us a solution for global warming. I was sure
I could learn a few things or two from them if I
simply got close to them.
Many people confuse dolphins and porpoises.
Even though they both are members of the whale
family, they have different body shapes. Large foreheads usually distinguish dolphins, but the easiest
way to tell them apart is to look at their teeth. All
dolphin teeth are round, whereas porpoise teeth
are flat, not that I planned to get that close to distinguish the difference.
We took a small boat to a nearby island where
we could see several swimmers in the water. Some
were petting the dolphins. Others were getting
their photos taken. In the distance though, you
could see a few brave souls hydroplaning, their
arms outstretched, their torsos well above the water, being propelled by two dolphins. Dare we give
it a try:' Of course!
We queued up, but I sure didn't want to be
the first one to break the sound barrier. Better
to watch someone else and see what was up with
this foot push thing. Kids, older people and others
with various sizes and shapes all took their turns.
Still, I was nervous.
I don't even like skiing or using toe-clips on
a bicycle, so putting my faith in something over
which I had no control was a bit unsettling. But
give off bad Feng Shui at the roulette table:' They're
gone and it's just you and a dealer and your bags
of cash (er, credit line). And don't think high rollers don't share the wealth: one level five high roller
likes to sruff$100 bills in the slot machines of eager
players he passes, just to be nice. I got gifted with a
bottle of champagne when one VIP near me won;
when I remembered that I too was a high roller I
paid it forward and gave it to a sexy girl nearby.
5. YourPartner'sRole.It's tricky for a partner to
know what to do in this situation. Any good girlfriend will want to be by your side as you face the
music. But that may make things a bit more difficult. In order to diffuse the situation, her presence
may not be a good strategy. She'll want to defend
you and this often adds insult to injury. The fewer
people you have in the room the better your reception will be. And having a stranger there to fixate
their anger upon is a bad idea. If your partner is
immediately available by being in the room, you're
making it too easy for your parents to misdirect
their attention, disappointment and anger with
the situation by fixating on your girl. They will go
from trying to understand who you are and trying
to embrace these new ideas to just simply blaming
your partner for "turning you gay:' In this case, a
united front can be threatening and give the message that someone is kidnapping you from them.
The only person you want your folks to consider
in this moment is you.
Do have your partner nearby to support you
when it's over. You'll need the comfort. Acceptance
takes time. Give your parents some space, but stay
in touch. Continue with life as usual. If you used
to call them every day, continue to do so. There is
no need to change the conversation so that every
sentence is about your gayness. Resist the urge
to continually reinforce this fact to them. If your
girlfriend comes up naturally in the course of the
conversation, that's fine. But don't force the issue.
Expect, too, pregnant silences, at first, when you
mention it at all in any context. These things take
time. Just continue on as if there is no issue. At
this point, their reactions and feelings about your
gayness is their beer to drink, not yours.
In the end, it is your imagination that hinders
you from sitting down with one or both of your
parents and talking to them about who you really are. You imagine the worse: They'll shoot you
with a poisoned dart or they'll call some religious
organization to grab you off the street from the
back of an unmarked van for deprogramming. At
worse, they may scream, yell, threaten or cry. In
the end, you'll survive coming out to your parents
and likely you'll find the situation was not nearly
as bad as you anticipated it would be. After all, it's
not like you told them you were in love with Rush
Limbaugh or O.J. Simpson. Now, there's a reason
for
76
Icurve
in life, sometimes you have to face your fears. You
can't always be a passenger.
My turn was next. I was bit nervous, wondering if I'd crash and burn with two snouts pushing
me from behind, but the guide assured me that all
I had to do is wait, and enjoy the ride. Bobbing
about with my lifejacket, I felt sort of stupid as I
faced the shore. What if the dolphins thought I
was a piece of tuna and bit off my pinkie toe:' What
if they were having a bad dorsal day:' Sure, they're
tame, but it was just me against two Flippers, each
of whom weighed far more than I did, and could
leap small buildings with a single bound.
So, there I waited, like a sitting duck. Sure
enough, two snout-missiles soon found the soles
of my feet, their tails churning rapidly as they
approached my rear. I felt two shoehorns gently
press on the soles of my feet and soon my torso
was buoyed up above the water, and I was looking
like that female beacon on the bow of the Titanic.
My arms spread widely in front of me, I was like
DiCaprio, shouting, 'Tm the king of the world!"
It was all over too soon. The ride lasted about
30 seconds, at which point, the dolphins slowed
down, and I was eased back into the water. Mission
accomplished. I swam back to the pier to flirt and
have my portrait taken with my mammal chaperones, Fat Boy and Jake.
Indeed, thanks to dolphinworld.org, I had the
ride of a lifetime.
The Biggest LittleCity in the World
There's more to Reno than casinos and girls. A
cultural wave gentrified downtown, the nightclub
scene is growing, queer-owned boutiques and restaurants are starting to emerge and it's trendier than
ever before. With the Truckee River Whitewater
Park, Truckee River Arts District, The Chocolate
Bar (yes, it's exactly as it sounds), Reno Events
Center (a great concert space where I saw Journey
and more mullet-sporting dykes than imagineable), and quirky museums (the National Bowling
Stadium, the national Automobile Museum),
there's something for everyone here. With couple
of local gay ski weeks (WinterFest and South
Lake Tahoe's Blue Gay-la) and the International
Gay Rodeo Association Finals, LGBT travelers
are slowly getting to know Reno and its nieghbor,
Lake Tahoe. Couples from the intermountain region and California are also flocking to Reno to
"tie the knot" in traditional, Nevada way at one of
the gay-friendly wedding chapels.
The super friendly El Dorado is one of my
fave hotels here-it has 10 restaurants, some better than others. Every great meal I had in Reno
happened in the El Dorado. At Roxy's, among
the city's best, I order the sigature Cowboy Rib
Eye Steak. I'm flush with the excitement of being
in beef country again (hey, we're not all vegetarians). Sure the steak is drizzled in blue cheese and
there's a dollop of spinach, but really, truly, this is
a carnivore's wet dream. While I eat, I down three
of the Roxy's 102 different martinis and half way
through the steak I'm just not sure I can handle
the chocolate souffie I ordered. But, when in
Rome (or Reno, that is), so I finish half the steak,
four drinks, lobster escargot, Catalan shrimp and
mushroom ravioli appetizers and the souffie and
I waddle up to my room hoping to sleep. But the
whirlpool and the Reno skyline beckons so I mix
another drink and mellow out in the bath.
My dinner guest, publicist Julia Peaua, is a
Reno local. She did eat the whole damn steak
while I watched. Peaua's brother is gay so having
queer family members, she says, gives her extra
commitment to bringing lesbian and gay travelers
to the El Dorado. Judging by the lesbian high rollers I spoke with, the hotel casino complex hardly
needs the extra help.
Buffalo or Ohio: continued from page 63
the local lesbian bar, owned by Donna, who
is always grumpy, but somehow adorable, and
known and loved by all. Bartender Sarah is the
bomb, and we rocked the house before crashing
with some gay boys, friends of friends. The next
morning we had to rise and shine for a television
taping before performing that evening at Dirty
Jack's where I met an entire roller derby team
of girls from Minnesota and check out the new
nightclub Adonis, which is absolutely gorgeous,
and has state-of-the-art lights and sound. It is
truly one of the most outstanding dance floors I
have ever seen and the drag shows are top-notch.
The DJ announcedmy
arrivaland I felt likea star...
untilI had to wait in line
..-~
.........
It's mainly a gay boy hangout, but there are still
plenty oflesbians on certain nights. Check out the
Adonis outdoor pool in the daytime, where you
can sip a Mai Tai or surf the net.
The next stop was Covington, Kentucky where
I performed at one of my favorite little local lesbian bars, Rosie's Tavern, owned by the fabulous
down to Earth Diane, who named the place after
her dog Rosie. We had the place packed when my
drummer realized he left the microphones at the
last gig. I stalled with a few acoustic songs while
he sped back across the river to get them. Despite
the late start the crowd was raring to go and we
rocked out for almost four hours before I almost
died from second-hand smoke; tobacco is the state
crop so smoking is still legal in all bars in Kentucky.
Oh well, I love my Kentucky girls and their cold
Blue Moon. Yadda's, another lesbian bar, ("If
you haven't been there, y'adda'') is a few doors
down from Rosie's and has a huge dance floor, an
outdoor patio and great bartenders. (Be sure to
check out both clubs if you're ever in Kentucky.)
We crashed at Michelle and Kelly's house, a gorgeous four-story place with an adorable cat and a
coughing dog. We woke up to a gourmet breakfast of coffee, eggs, biscuits and grits, and I tried to
console the coughing pooch, who reportedly has a
heart murmur.
We were off and running to Columbus, Ohio
and forgot my guitar which was luckily delivered in
time for my first show, Rockin' In The Streets.This
is a huge outdoor event under a tent in celebration of gay Pride and we were thrilled to share the
stage with BETTY and local artist Tracy Walker.
It was a fantastic show and I sold a bunch of CDs
before packing it up and heading back to the hotel
where we fit almost thirteen lesbians in one bed!
We shared a pizza and stayed in, but the next day
my voice was gone which had me in a panic so I
didn't talk all day. My friends find it amusing to
torture me when I can't talk, so it was a long and
painfully quiet eight hours. I sipped hot water and
was able to get enough voice back to put on one
more show that evening, another big outdoor festival called Dancin' In The Streets. More CD sales
and autographs and we were off and running once
again, catching a 5a.m. flight back home. I'm still
catching my breath, but plans are underway to hit
the next city. Hope to see you there!
Bethlehem,
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I 79
Top Ten Reasons We Love Paige Braddock
Creator of the popular dyke drama comic Jane's
World, Paige Braddock has been drawing comics since she was old enough to hold a pen. She
recently released volume seven of the series, in
which heroine Jane, who bears a not-so-slight
resemblance to her creator, encounters life's trials and tribulations, from the mundane (juggling love interests) to the bizarre (morphing
into a rabbit in the middle of the desert). In
addition to finishing the eighth volume of Jane's
World, Braddock is currently at work on illustrations for Jason McNamara's graphic novel The
Martian Chronicles,a sci-fi comedy set on Mars.
- CatherinePlato
1. She's livingher childhooddream.Braddock
became interested in drawing and comics "somewhere between first and second grade" and counts
Peanutscreator Charles Schulz as a childhood hero.
2. Shelearnedfroma master.Braddock worked
under Schulz, and today is the creative director
at his studio. "He was also very encouraging," she
remembers. "In general, he was very supportive of
women in comics, a field dominated by guys ....
After I got this job, my mom sent me a drawing
I'd done of Snoopy that she'd been saving all these
years. It can be intimidating to work for your hero
. . . but also life-altering in a good way:'
3. Shedefinitely
foundherniche.Braddock hasn't
worked much in other mediums; she found what she
loves and is sticking with it. ''I've always loved pen
so Icurve
The latestinstallmentof Jane's Worldpromises
"girl-on-girl
action,chickswith guns,a vegan menace, vintageWinnebagosand the powerfultransformativeenergyof the SedonaVortex."Sign us up!
and ink work," she explains. "I worked for 12 years
as an illustrator for several newspapers [including
the ChicagoTribune and the Atlanta Constitution],
and pen and ink was always my specialty:'
4. She knowshow to pleaseher readers.The
latest installment of Jane's World, promises "girlon-girl action, chicks with guns, a vegan menace,
vintage Winnebagos and the powerful transformative energy of the Sedona Vortex:' Sign us up!
5. Talkto her andyourwordsmightturnto ink.
Braddock uses pieces of her friends' conversation
when she's writing dialogue. 'J\uthentic dialogue
is hard to mimic without some basis in fact," she
says. "That doesn't mean I'll lift an entire conversation and use it. If I did, my friends would never
tell me anything!"
6. Like a mother,she doesn'tpick favorites."I
guess there are personality traits of all the characters that I like;' she says. Braddock's especially
surprised with how popular some newer characters, like tough girl Chelle and butchy ex-cop Jill,
have become. "I almost think Chelle and Jill could
now have their own spin-off book:'
7. She'spartof the crewthat keepsSnoopy
alive.
As the creative director of Charles M. Schulz
Creative Associates, Braddock calls the final shots
on creative issues concerning any new Peanuts
products. Along with a crew of sculptors and artists, she reviews about 6,000 new products, most of
which reach an Asian audience. "Basically,I put out
a lot of fires all day long:'
8. Her charactersall have mindsof their own.
There's something incredibly endearing about the
way Braddock speaks of the fictional Jane's World
crew. In volume eight, the characters crash on a
deserted island and have to survive."The nice thing
about these characters now is that I know them so
well I can create a context and just throw them into
it. And I can pretty much know how they'd react:'
9. She'sfullofsurprises.
At the time when Schulz
offered Braddock a job, she was enrolled in a theology program at Emory University .
10.Shedefinitely
loveswhatshedoes.What does
Braddock do with her downtime?: "Would you
believe draw and read corniest She also admits a
love for vintage-cruiser bicycles.
:.:
()
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FranklySpeaking
We Love Cho Business
I didn't think about what
it would mean to watch
THE BEST-SELLING LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME 17 NUMBER 8
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Frances Stevens
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Sara Jane Keskula
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Contributing Editors
Margaret Cho's racy routine
with my mom by my side.
Turns out I shouldn't have
worried. My mom wasn't the
least bit shocked by her.
Frances Stevens Publisher/Editor in Chief
When Margaret Cho last graced our cover, five years ago, I wrote about having just taken my mom and
stepfather to the GLAAD Media Awards, where Margaret performed. I was a GLAAD board member
at the time, so proud to have my folks by my side, but I hadn't thought about what it would mean to sit
next to my mom (in the front row, no less) watching one of Margaret's racy routines. The first time she
said "pussy;' I was mortified. Turns out my embarrassment was for naught; Mom liked Margaret's act so
much, and laughed so hard, that I had to take her to see Ms. Cho again during the Assassin tour. She
laughed just as hard as the first time. Turns out, everyone from The Simpsons' creator and the women of
The View to my dear ol' mom loves Margaret Cho.
Now, on the heels of the wildly popular True Colors tour, which she emceed, with a handful of new mov~
ies about to be released, Cho is bigger than ever. She speaks frankly with cuRvE's executive editor, Diane
Anderson~Minshall, about everything from who she's crushed on to her new off~Broadway production,
Sensuous Woman. "It's comedy. It's music. It's burlesque. It's lots of wild gender stuff;' she says about the
show. You just never know what you're going to get when Margaret takes the stage, and we love it.
Of course, this is also our fall travel issue, so I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the great offerings we have
in this month's special adventure section. This issue is all about getting you outside your comfort zone,
whether it's swimming with dolphins, riding a train across America, houseswapping for a place in the
Netherlands or using your vacation to get a new vocation. There are even more options for those of us
on a budget including sofa~surfing accommodations and traveling on less than $50 a day. As a gambling
girl mysel£ I was particularly thrilled to see that some of the country's hot gaming spots made our hit list
this month. One writer hit two cities in Nevada, whije another journeyed to that New Jersey mainstay,
Atlantic City.
Let us know what adventures you're up to these days. And if you do hit the open road, take CURVEwith
you, literally and metaphorically. You don't know who you'll run into.
21curve
curve
Contributing Writers Elizabeth A. Allen, Jacob AndersonMinshall, Kathy Beige, Kelsy Chauvin, Margaret
Coble, Jennifer Corday, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo,
Michele Fischer, Tracy Gilchrist, Michele Fisher,
Tania Hammidi, Jodi Helmer, Elle Kaycee, Gillian
Kendall, Kate Lacey, Sheela Lambert, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Karlyn Lotney, Mary
McGrath, Candace Moore, Aefa Mulholland, Rachel
Pepper, Catherine Plato, Stephanie Schroeder,
Ursela Steck, Dave Steinfeld, Jocelyn Voo
Illustrators Phil Cho, Katherine Streeter
Contributing PhotographersEvan Agostini, Ron Batzdorff,
Joel Becker, Beata Becla, L.W. Braddock,
Suzanne Carr-Rossi, T Cooper, Kelsy Chauvin,
Sharon Dominick, Andrew Eccles, Bruce Gifford,
Sophia Hantzes, Justin Horrocks, Jill Lang,
Kate Lewis, Mel Lindstrom, Michael Loccisano,
Andrew Manley, Janet Mayer, Earlene Meyer, Ray
Mickshaw, Kim Musler, Maggie Parker, Andrew
Penner, Franz Pfluegl, Matthew Rodgers, Ranplett,
Santillo Photography, John Shin, Nuno Silva, Joe
Stone, Andrew Tchernov, Paul Topp, Austin Young
Volume 17 Issue 8 Curve (ISSN 1087-867)() is published monthly (except for
.Ianuary/February and July/August) by Outspoken Enterprises, Inc., 1550
Bryant St., Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103. Subscnption pnce:$49_g51year,
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Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any manner, either
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Keyword: Curvemag Web site: curvemag.com
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Features
"Tome,
the most
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beingqueer
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discovering
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different
definitions
of who we
are. I think
the transgender
community
has been a
veryquiet
sectionof
the GLBT ...
the invisible
part."
Margaret Cho
page 39
October 2007
36
COVER: Margaret Cho Wants You She's
crushed out on nearly everyone, covered in
tats and rocking NYC. What gives? By Diane
Anderson-Minshall
51 Swimming With the Dolphins Get readyfor
a 40 mph water experience.By Mary McGrath
52 Take a Vocation Vacation Find your dream
job by test driving it first. By Aefa Mulholland
41 Who's Out Now? It's true, opera stars Patricia
Racette and Beth Clayton are married. They both
take center stage at Lincoln Center this month,
too. By Stephanie Schroeder
54 Atlantic City or Bust No longerconsideredVegas
junior,we got the city of lights in all its big city glory.
By StephanieSchroeder
42
Pack Your Bags: A Travel Bonus
Paradise Lost and Found Hawaiioffers more
than Don Ho and Spam. By GillianKendall
55
44
Victoria on the Water Take more than a sip
of this northern comfort. By Karen Loftus
56 The Odds Are on My Side Reno rollsout the
carpet to fulfillone gal'schampagnewishes and
caviardreams.By DianeAnderson-Minshall
46 Wanna Trade Abodes? A budget travel idea
called swapping. By StephanieSchroeder
47 Spend Less Than $50 Clever strategies on how
to travel on only $50 a day. By Jennifer Corday
48
50
Cover photo by
AustinYoung
Volume17#8
58
It Stays in Vegas How many shows and strippers does it take to havea good time? By Diane
Anderson-Minshall
'u,
a:
w
u..
60
Riding the Rails ExperienceAmerica the way
we used to, by train. By Aefa Mulholland
Hit the Spa Feellikea rock star at one of these
dyke-friendlyresorts.By CatherinePlato
Poker Babes Test your lady luck with the
ladies of poker. By Jennifer Corday
Laverne and Shirley Slept Here No longer just
a city for beer lovers, Milwaukee moves forward
with many hidden surprises. By Kelsy Chauvin
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SQ.
§a..
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63
Buffalo or Bust Life on the road isn't as
excitingas it seems.By JenniferCorday
6I
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Departments
October 2007
Lesbiansoften
haveaffairsso
thattheycan end
a relationship.
I
don'tknowwhy
we thinkit is better
to do something
reallymeanand
stupidbeforewe
end it.
page 32
2
Frankly Speaking A note from the
chica who started it all.
8
22 Lesbofile Is Lohan turning gay?
Famous designs and a straight girl who
wants to make out with Jodie Foster.
Letters More big-lady love, dangerous
women defined (in pictures), plus lesbians and alien abduction. Yes, it's officially
crazy-dude month in Letters.
12 Contributors We loved working with
them; now it's your turn to meet our
24 Scene OMG, did you see that hottie? Don't worry, we did, and we took
pictures.
26 Lipstick & Dipstick Advice for one
Nosy Nelly and two cheating chicks.
34 Politics Are we girls ready for a strong
female prez like Hillary?
64 Sapphic Screen Women in bikinis, the
Brits' gayer version of Buffy and chicks in
short shorts.
68 In the Stacks Figuring out feminism,
a historical look at virginity, finding love
intergalactic style and prison poetry.
interns.
14 Out in Front A lesbian at a conservative
Jewish school, the woman behind WOW!
27 Ask Fairy Butch Straightforward
advice for when you discover your new
girlfriend won't work.
and the Chasing Amy Social Club.
16 Open Studio British Columbia artist
28 Astro Grrl Girl-girl love advice and
career suggestions written in the stars.
Sheryl McDougald blends Renaissance
forms with queer-girl imagery.
18 Curvatures Screaming sirens, being
Sew Gay, dude ranch giddyup and putting a "face" on love.
6
I curve
30 Relationships Strategies to take when
it's time to come out to your parents.
32 Dyke Drama Maybe you should think
twice before bringing a third to bed.
70 Music Watch October offers up a
cornucopia of new homo-hop music.
74 Tech Girl The modern-day VHS vs.
Betamax debate: Blu-ray or HD DVD?
75 I Tried It How to love cooking? How
wonderfully retro of us.
80 Top Ten Reasons We Love From
Peanuts to Jane's World, there are plenty
of reasons to want Paige Braddock.
-
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Letters
cur.ve
100 of the Sexiest Female Musicians on the Planet
"I would like to see ... an article about downlow black women. I mean the big thing is
down-low black men, but I hate to say this,
Will There Ever
Be a Lesbian
American Idol
Winner?
KellyClarkson,
Carrie
Underwood,
Fantasia.
Welovethegalsof
AmericanIdol,butwe
askedreaders,will
we everseea lesbian
winner?
28.3%
Whosayswe
haven'talready?
27.9%
Maybe(it's about
talent,notsexuality)
13.4%
Hellyes!(it's onlya
matterof time)
13.1%
Whocaresanyway?
10.8%
DoubtIt
6.6%
Hellno!
(dykesdon't
liveupto the
Idol"image")
Telluswhatyouthink
andcheckout
curvemag.com
to vote
in ourcurrent
onlinepoll.
there are a lot of down-low sistas out there
as well, myself included."
Big Love
me that wants to be indulged in mindless pursuits. Could you
My eyes love shadows and I thought the second option for the
maybe add one recipe every month? And some actual fashion
that isn't just for the butch ladies? There are certain things I
look for in a magazine: respectable, articulate, accurate and in-
July 2007 (Vol. 17, #7) CURVE cover had predominance. The
first article mentioned on the cover was the most ethical to me.
The intentions of Katherine Moennig seemed most involving.
Overall, the message I got was power.
Toshi Reagon has been going strong for a while now, and
on Annie Leibovitz and her late partner, all the way to some
that is why I like her as the centerpiece. Her bright shirt and
unheard of couple out in the country.There is nothing about
gripping hands show she will continue to represent herself
solidly. The other three ladies mold in, each one possessing a
unique beauty. The word "biggest" also gives me wanderlust. I
CURVE magazine right now that touches my heart. Give me
something real. Feed my mind, nourish my soul. You know? If
want to jump in and explore because my curiosity screams at
the word "big:'
you need anything, let me know.
- Erica, via MySpace.com
The last reason this cover was preferable to my market
I love your magazine. I would like to see an article about inter-
awareness is the rising star that was represented. God-des
seems to be everywhere. The stage presence of this artist is in
racial lesbian and bisexual couples. Do they experience the same
type of racist reaction or double, due to being gay and dealing
with someone of another race? Also an article about down-low
control. In general, I think the cover of the austere July publication became too visually cluttered. I appreciate the time taken
to ask for public opinions.
- StephanieKnauer, Seattle Wash.
Hello to everyone, and thanks for such a great magazine! I have
a lot to say, but I will try to keep it brief. I really enjoyed the
music issue because I had heard of some of those bands but
really didn't know much about them, so thanks for the insight.
On another note: Toshi rocks! She definitely should have been
on the cover. That would have satisfied your reader Amanda
who wrote that she wanted to see bigger women in your magazine. I really loved the FOB too. What a day, hanging out with
300 lesbians who just want to have fun and kiss all day! And
Shane; the work she is doing is phenomenal. The youth respond to her because she fits in with them. I say use what you
have to make a difference. OK, I think I've rambled
enough. Thanks for a great magazine and keep up
the good work.
- Robin Tapper and Anne Marie Vincent,
Biloxi, Miss.
BI curve
formed articles; travel information; restaurant reviews and current issues. I would love to see some real-life love stories, like
black women. I mean, the big thing is down-low black men, but
I hate to say this, there are a lot of down-low sistas out there
as well, myself included. Favorite artist to feature is Meshell
Ndegeocello, what has she been up to lately? I love her. Also,
there is this beautiful lesbian rapper, Melange Lavonne. She is
so talented. Take care and keep up the great work.
-Anonymous
Editor's Note: We're all about the sistas on the DL! Great idea.
Any othersout there?Send us a note at editor@curvemag.com.
Heavenly Review
Your review of my novel Like Son (Vol. 17, #6) was so completely lovely, thoughtful and beautifully phrased. And to be
reviewed on the same page as Judy Chicago's The Dinner Party
... I swear, I'm in heaven. Thank you!
- FeliciaLuna Lemus, NYC
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fest here.Thanks.
Readers Want More
Ball-Kicking Babes
I love your magazine, really. Your articles are informative and I enjoy them. But there is a part of
The page heading, "Babes Kicking Balls"
over the photo of the Tractor Tramps (Vol.
0
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200793REV07/07
17, #8) has so grabbed my attention that I can't free myself of your power. That
photo and the heading speak brilliantly of lesbian empowerment, and nurtured my need to support lesbian empowerment. I love your attitude and want
to nurture my feelings toward lesbians-I have recently become a member of
Astraea, the lesbian funding foundation. Thanks again, and I hope you accept
this check for my subscription to CURVE.
- Bill Hickey, VirginiaBeach, Va.
OK, Crazy Dudes Alert
Your magazine has interested me for some time. Every time I'm up at the
Watertown Borders, I always look through CURVE,and, increasingly more
often than not, buy it. And, I love lots of the women I see every month in
CURVE.As is reflected in my art works (see images below], I adore women. I
hope you find the included examples of some of my works interesting, as well
as hints to photos of featured ladies in your magazine.
At this point, I suspect what's going on in your mind is this: Why doesn't
this geek take all of this up with the people who print the dirty magazines
(Playboy,Penthouseand so on)?
The fact is, I have. For the past 12 years, to be exact. And, in spite of general popular opinion, I'm not a geek or some weirdo who's sneaking around in
a raincoat who's looking for dirty pictures. You see, ever since early 1994, my
letters and suggestions to various magazine places have gone thus:
1. I would write a letter to, say, Playboy,Penthouse,Peifect 10, wryomever,
with many requests as to how they might improve upon what they've got.
2. In each and every case, each magazine, no matter what it might be,
"adult;' exercise, ladies-oriented, art-oriented, whatever, would utterly ignore
my correspondence. And, would continue to print the exact same tripe. To
this day, in most cases, the situation and attitude persists. They have issues.
Please keep and enjoy the included drawings with my compliments. I
hope you find them intriguing. My theme: smart is sexy! My works are sensual and stimulating in a way that Playboyand Penthousenever even thought
about being.
The ladies in the drawings are characters from my various novel works.
These, in turn, were inspired by the fine and lovely actors Gillian Anderson
and Helena Bonham-Carter.
The vampy sense of danger you see in the faces of my
women is intentional. Tell me i£ after looking these works
over, you don't see something going on.
Again, I hope these will help provide some thoughts as
to possible future covers/feature photos of CURVE's many
fascinating ladies.
- Anthony M. Oddi, Watertown, N.Y.
Editor's Note: Well Anthony, we de.finitelysensesomethinggo-
ing on, that'sfor sure.I'm certainGillianAnderson would,too. _
I am contacting "The Lesbian Magazine" with a proposal to
write an article about the UFO festival that will be held this
July in Roswell, N.M.This year marks the 60th anniversary of
an alien spacecraft crashing on a ranch in Roswell, and my article will report on the festival and detail what lesbians think of
101curve
the crash and how it affects their every day lives. Lesbians love aliens, UFOs
and Roswell, and I am uniquely qualified to write this piece because my friend
Tanya from Downtown (she lives downtown, hence the nickname) is alesbian sometimes. Well, that's what my neighbor Mr. Biggs told me. He would
know because he loves lesbians.
The other reason I am qualified is because in the summer of 2006 I was
abducted and held against my will while being probed, beaten, tortured, examined, branded, implanted, and admonished by extraterrestrials from outer
space-all in the name of peace. At least, that's what the aliens told me.
A self-addressed stamped envelope is enclosed so you will not do anything
"rash" or "freak out" or go "ballistic" or "insane" because editors do that when
return postage is not included.
Thank you for reading and responding to my letter.
- Kenneth Snipps, Forestville,Conn.
Editor's Note: We getplenty of lettersfrom men who deserveto be admonishedbut
this is ourfirst from thefamous letterprankster Kenneth Snipps. We feel worthy
now. Eat your heart out, Maxim!
Got Somethingon Your Mind?
E-mail letters@curvemag.com; write to CURVELetters, 1550 Bryant St., Ste.
510, San Francisco, CA 94103; fax to 415-863-1609. Please include your
name, city and state. Letters may be edited for clarity and length.
Corrections
In our September issue (Vol. 17, #7), the article "Why Lesbians Love La
Lucha" should have used the term "Zapatista movement:' The error was no
fault of the author. In the same issue's Astro Grrl column, we incorrectly cited
JoanJett's age; she is 47. RegardingJuly/ August (Vol.17, #6), G-Child's legal
name is Gina Mogranello; the article on Erin McKeown should have referred
to "marijuana songs of the '20s:' Lastly, in June (Vol. 17, #5) Curvatures, we
incorrectly identified where Casey Parks was raised; she grew up in Georgia
and Louisiana and went to school in Mississippi. CuRVE sincerely regrets
the errors.
Contributors
Lured by the luscious landscape and ladies of the Bay Area, SarahE.Brown,
a Philadelphia native, relocated herself to San Francisco to work at CURVE. "I am
passionate about both animal and women's rights and am interested in looking at
inescapable connections between these two seemingly unlinked categories;' Brown
quips. She is currently a junior at Vassar College. When she's not grappling with
feminist theory, writing or editing, Brown enjoys running, live music and gourmet
vegan food.
internship, she"only had a conceptual idea of what it would be
Prior to MariaGinsbourg's
like:'She happily states that "I got to write reviews,fact check, edit, transcribe and send
out tearsheets, and believe it or not, I never had to get anyone coffee.All of this made for a
pretty good introduction to the industry. The best part of it is allI got to spend days play,
ing with words and learning:'
"Straight girl working at a lesbian publication. That about sums up this [intern]
How did this happen, you may ask? Peoples
experience for me;' says KatiePeoples.
was simply looking for anyone who would take a chance on a recent college graduate
with no professional experience. However, her time at CURVE has given her invaluable
experience as well as a new perspective. She's written for college and high school publi,
t:ations and enjoys blogging about video games. Peoples supports her writing habit by
dealing lattes to caffeine addicts.
"When I started to intern for CURVE, a dream of mine had come true, even though
things didn't come as easy as I thought they would. I made some really great friends
"The experience has definitely, opened
and learned some new skills;' says AmberRivard.
my eyes to what I could and could not see myself doing in the future. It has also
helped me set new goals for my future."
It's a Tough Job
Our intrepid executive editor Diane Anderson-Minshallhad
all the fun this summer. First she recieved the high roller
treatment in Reno, Nevada (and was showered with love
from a bevy of gay beauties),then it was on to Las Vegas
for a good ol' fashion (rainbow)family vacation full of
gambling, strippers and desert excursions(and the lovely
Paris hotel). Here she is with her travel companions (from
left): Dallas Voice editor Arnold Wayne Jones, AndersonMinshall, Las Vegas and More's John Forseth and Babs
Daitch (aka Babs the Day Tripper)enjoying a cruise on
Lake Mead. Read about it on page 58.
12
I curve
Wolfe
Wolfe Video.com
curve
THE BEST-SELLING LESBIAN MAGAZINE
CurveMag.com
•
ov1es
SlJr\JCO/IST~
Thestorefor movielovers.
A Cantor in Training
Lesbian Reality Maven
Still ChasingAmy
Only six short months ago, MarisaJames
When most people embark on a new venture they
keep focused on one business endeavor, but not
Hard to believe a gay woman could move to San
Francisco and feel a little on the outs. But if that
male, to be accepted into the Jewish Theological
Seminary, the Conservative movement's school
DonnaMete-she'staken on three.
same woman happened to identify as a bisexual, as
for ordaining rabbis and cantors.
''I've always loved going to services and
celebrating the holidays, and music has always •
earlier business success founding a privately held
conference and trade show company where she
can be a little daunting.
So Larson set out to create her own circle
simultaneously worked with a number of key
industries, helping thousands of executives execute
of accepting dykes and others back in 2001 and
started a group called the Chasing Amy Social
their development strategies. Today, Mete is the
executive producer of a soon,to,debut lesbian
Club.
"When I moved to the Bay Area, there wasn't a
reality Web show, penning an upcoming book and
designing an extensive community,based Web
group like Chasing Amy in existence ... a safe haven
at the zoo, or one of the Andrews Sisters. Then
reality set in. After graduating college, she
worked with her synagogue's environmental
site-all at once.
"Honestly, I am the consummate multitasker
Green Team and helped with Jews for Racial
and Economic Justice (JFREJ) in New York.
She also writes Jewish,themed, queer,
and I work at warp speed;' says Mete. "I never do
been available as a stepping stone for those first
anything half,ass. If there's a way to get and give it
all, I'll find it and do it:'
coming out as bi or lesbian and has offered a sense
of community to a lot of bisexual women who had
friendly books for children. Referring to the
Metes Webisode show is entitled WOW!
Womenon Women,an honest, open and, at times,
previously felt cast out of or ignored by the lesbian
community:'
comedic look into lesbian life. There are no celebri,
ties or actresses involved because it's real life,but
makes no income from Chasing Amy, is quick to
became the first openly gay student, female or
been an integral part of my Jewishness, so the
cantorate is the job of my dreams;' says James.
As a young girl, James recalls wanting to
grow up to be a helicopter pilot, a giraffe,keeper
dozens of children she's taught at Congregation
Beth Simchat Torah, the largest LGBT
synagogue in the world, James says, "Most of
them are very young children growing up with
two moms or two dads in Jewish homes, so I'm
working on stories that reflect their lives:'
While much of her professional journey has
been unconventional, the greatest twist along
the road has been the acceptance to JTS, where
historically Conservative Jews have taken the
traditional view of homosexuality as stated in
Leviticus. James says the approval for her to join
the program was not so much monumental as
it is indicative of new and exciting changes that
are happening within Conservative Judaism.
-Sheryl Kay
Do you know of a woman who Is literally
out in front, making changesfor the good
of the lesbiancommunity?Tell us about
her at editorOcurvemag.com. (Or,hey, why
not Justnominate yourself?)
14
Icurve
Perhaps it goes back to her enormous
Mete says the show has such great energy that she's
"sure_we'llsee a few wonderfully brave actresses
who want to come out and have some fun with
us ... whether they're straight, gay or bi,curious:'
did AmyLarson,
even the queer capital of America
for bisexual women to socialize within the greater
queer community without experiencing bi,bash,
ing;' says Larson. "Over the years, the group has
Larson, a 29,year,old fashion consultant who
stress that the group is not a sex club, a political
or religious group, or a dating service, but rather
a community,based group of women who get
Each episode will run 10-20 minutes in length,
together for dinners and other social events. All
women are welcome, regardless of age, race or
weekly,26 weeks a year.
Her self,published book, titled TheLesbian
sexual orientation.
Although Larson does not advertise, Chasing
SurvivalGuidefor Healinga BrokenHearton the
Mend,takes a long, hard look at how lesbians
Amy has grown by leaps and bounds, starting with
10 women, and boasting over 500 members today.
sometimes mistreat each other when one wants
out and the impact on the woman whose heart
has been broken. And with her new Web site, our,
And as the group grows, so do Larson's plans. This
year, Chasing Amy marched for the first time in
WOW space.com, Mete will offer blogs, podcasts,
films, and other products and services still yet
unannounced.
"I am definitely on a mission to help women
get in touch with their greatness and to be
everything they've ever imagined they could be;'
says Mete. "That's my dream:' - SherylKay
the annual San Francisco Pride parade.
"Ultimately, my only written,in,stone goal with
the group is to continue to throw fun social events
that bring bisexual ~d bi,supportive women
together;' says Larson. "I love planning events, so
the sky's really the limit, but sometimes simplicity
can be the most enticing:' To meet Larson's ladies,
see chasingamysocialclub.com. - SherylKay
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Sheryl McDougald
IPAINTER I
While a student, Sheryl McDougald recognized iliac Renaissance artists like Michelangelo, Leonardo and Donatello "were
all basically homosexual and the way that they were seeing things was that the combination of male and female was closer
to God.n While investigating these artists' images, which merged masculine qualities with females and feminine qualities
with males, McDougald decided to take on chis type of gender and sexuality play in her own work. Her pieces integrate
well,known classic Renaissance forms with contemporary queer female imagery. Gillian as Giulianode Medici, for instance,
portrays a bare,chested, leather,strapped butch in combat boots positioned in the same role as Michelangelo's 15th cen,
tury model. "What I did was take those old Renaissance paintings and put them back into relationships that I like to
see, something chat is related to human desire and human nature, but has socially changed over the past 500 years;' says
McDougald.
McDougald hails from British Columbia and her work has been featured in numerous magazines, television and video pieces and gallery exhibi,
tions, and it has garnered her well,deserved praise both within and outside of queer communities. But her most important audience is her peers: 'The
people that I've grown with and have my own relationships with don't get to see art that relates to us, about us directly, and that's what I feel I'm doing;'
says McDougald. "I think that when you take [Renaissance forms] out of their context and put them into a different context, it might give the viewer
an even more powerful impression than if it was just, say, a portrait of two women. To actually use Big Book Art History is kind of cheeky, but it's
more empowering:' - Sarah E. Brown
16
Icurve
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OCTOBER
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Real Estate
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IIRBITZ
Curvatures
New Breast Cancer Detection
Cheaper
Than a Hotel
Adventurous
travelers(read:broke)
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This
creativetakeonthe
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Thesitereliesonthe
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Whileit mayseem
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room.InParis.
InJuly.Shudder.
- KatiePeoples
18
I
curve
In September 1999, Carole Conway, then 32,
found a lump in her left breast but because
there was no pain, she didn't take any action.
After some discomfort, she had a biopsy in
October that revealed a malignant tumor.
"I remember the tears just running down
my face, as I was too doped up to actually
express my true feelings;• the now 44-yearold Gulfport, Fla. resident says. "My doctor
proceeded to the waiting room to tell my partner. She fell to the
floor sobbing, and he went to the floor with her, holding her and
trying to give some kind of consolation:•
Conway began painful chemotherapy and became one of the
nearly 180,000 women who are diagnosed with cancer every
year, according to the American Cancer Society.
The cancer has since spread to Conway's lungs and brain,
and she continues to fight it with the support of her partner and
community. Early detection has always been key to preventing
and treating cancer. The earlier tumors are spotted and treated,
the greater the chance of survival.
Now new technology is aiding radiologists and oncologists
in identifying tumors. Breast MRis, the latest in cancer detecting methods, are much more sensitive than film mammography
and can detect small, possible cancers. "We can find tumors earlier and smaller on breast MRis than we can any other way;'
says Dr. David Gruen at the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer
Center in Fairfield, Conn.
However, the problem with a breast MRI is that it picks up
things that are as small as 2 mm. This can be problematic when
it comes to figuring out which of those little spots is a cancer
suspect and needs to be biopsied. But a recent study in the peer-
reviewjournal Radiology has shown that computeraided detection (CAD) technology, when used with
a breast MRI, can improve detection of tumors by
20 percent. CAD technology helps radiologists and
oncologists find the needle in a dense haystackmaking it ideal for diagnosing younger women.
"Imagine trying to find the first star on a cloudy
night;' Gruen says. ''That's what finding a breast
cancer is like in a dense breast:'
Those with high risk factors such as family history or obesity
are being recommended to take advantage of breast MRis and
get screened before 40. - KP
Buy for the Cure
The best part of October is all the
pink products that come out in support of breast cancer awareness. Pink
ribbons, pink bags and pink shirts.
Crosley Radio is no exception to this
bandwagon. During the month of
October, Crosley is donating a portion
of its proceeds from sales of their pink
retro phones and radios to Susan G.
Komen for the Cure foundation. The
Corsair clock radio and CD player
is great for a nighstand. Our personal favorite: the pink
public pay phone. Make your guests use it and rack up the
change.-KP
A Simply Divine Site
It was a summer night (skirt season) and I was suffering from
major high-heel regret when I received my first subscription
digest from DivineCaroline.com.
The letter had teasers linking to stories with titles such
as "The Gift of Cancer" and "Goodbye Eggs, Hello
Church;' but the story that really piqued my interest began with this: ''I've been bad to my feet: I've
perched them on wedges, squished them into tight
vintage boots, pinched my toes in peep-toes and
squashed them into pointy-top shoes:• Suddenly
I recognized the value of a Web site for and by
women. They've been through the same experiences that I have. They would understand.
DivineCaroline is a new online community where women can publish alongside
professional authors. It's also a place where
women can share stories, pose questions and
find answers.
Though the site doesn't specifically target lesbians, it's definitely queer friendly. Not only is the senior copy editor a lesbian,
but I also found a large number of articles on the site with titles
such as "Gay Rodeo Clown;'"The Secret Sex Lives of Lesbians;'
"Homophobia in Women's Sports;' "The L Word: Why You
Should Start Watching It Now" and "Making Babies in a
Brave New World:'
The articles are well written, intelligent and quite
original, and DivineCaroline's editorial team includes
experienced journalists, published authors and the
top female bloggers in North America. The site
is a brand of Real Girls Media Network, whose
founder, Kate Everett-Thorp, has earned numerous awards, including being listed as one of
the Top 25 Women to Watch by Advertising Age.
- Maria Ginsbourg
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Briarcrest Tales
Coming from Fall River, Mass.-home to Lizzie Borden and the
legendary murders of her parents-one might expect author Anna
Furtado, who's lived in the San Francisco Bay Area nearly all of her
adult life, to specialize in horror. Instead, she pens period romances.
After winning a Writers' Market 24-Hour Short Story Contest,
Furtado released her first novel, 2004's The Heart's Desire to wide
acclaim and was nominated for several awards. Set in the early
Renaissance, Heart's Desire (annafurtado.com) follows the romance
of a spice merchant and a mysterious noblewoman and is the first
book in the Briarcrest Chronicles.
Furtado credits the realism in her books to the years she spent researching the historical aspect, "among the dusty tomes in the public
libraries of the Bay Area. It took a great deal of research to become
intimately familiar with the period. Since I love the period, and I love
old books, I'm kind of glad that I started that research before the
Web became so much a part of our lives. The experiences I had doing
research are some of [my] most treasured moments:'
That research allowed Furtado to bring the 1400s to life: "I think
that being so imbued in the time comes through in the telling of the
story, and that's what people love about the work:'
What sets the Briarcrest Chronicles apart-in
addition to
Furtado's well-researched material and the lesbian content-is her
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plan to bring the storyline into the 21st century, jumping from 1458
to the present day.
"Sometimes my inner critic tries to tell me it's a really lame idea;'
Furtado admits. "I can't recall ever reading anything like this, either
in lesbian literature or in the mainstream, (but I] realize what a
good thing that can be. It struck me as a novel way to do a series,
fast-forward(ing] into contemporary times and (tying] it back to the
first two:'
Before reaching that point, there's still book two, The Heart's
Strength, which comes out this falland is already garnering rave reviews.
The Heart's Strength continues the Briarcrest Chronicles two decades af::l ter the conclusion of Heart's Desire and revolvesaround the difficulties
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of independent bookstores-but she's also embracing new mediums.
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Sharon Stone
Keira Knightly
"I've been called a bitch-and a lot worse-for years.
And you know what, so what? People who think
that aren't going to change their minds. And I
wouldn't dream of sending them to therapy to
'rehabilitate' their feelings. How absurd. Please, I
call all my gay friends 'big fags"'>> Actress
Sharon Stone to the New York Post, on the
Grey's Anatomy controversy
"When I was 14, 15, all my friends came out. So I had
to figure out all that was going on and read about
it. I actually had to come out to them that I was
straight. It's funny because usually it is the other
way around.">> Cyndi Lauper, to QVegas
"[The Human Rights Campaign] should put much more
pressure on Democratic candidates and avoid
sucking up to Hillary Clinton at this early stage of
the campaign. Their namby pamby press releases
are worse than no response at all.">> Lesbian
columnist, Ann Rostow, writing in San Francisco Bay Times
"[Beth Ditto] is just amazing. And she's so sexy, she
really is. When she was performing, she started
taking all her clothes off. I stood there watching
her strip, thinking, 'Oh my God, that woman is so
sexy.' She has the most amazing body.">> Keira
Knightley, to Metro UK
October 2007
I 19
Curvatures
Reinventing the Globe
It's kismet that a Renaissance woman with a resume that includes actor, director, playwright and founder of Mujeres
Advancing Culture History and Art Theater Co. has rescued
West Hollywood's Globe Playhouse from possible obscurity.
The fate of the venue, famed for offering serious theater in
the heart of Los Angeles' BoysTown, was in question after its
founder, Thad Taylor, died in fall 2006. Then Cuban American
Odalys Nanin stepped in with MACHA and a re-imaginHow Gay Are
Your Clothes?
ing of the traditional space. The Drama Desk award-winning
TakeSEWGAYwithyou Nanin has created a community space for theater, fine art, film
to Milan,Tokyo,Fujior and strong coffee, replete with a stage modeled after London's
anywhere
you'retravel- Globe Theater, where hordes gathered for centuries to watch
ingthisseasonandfeel Shakespeare's plays.
gay/les/bi/trans
down
A spitfire of a woman, openly lesbian Nanin has wowed audito youthreads.With ences-and wooed the ladies-with her culturally relevant and
slogansondudsfrom steamy plays, including The Nun and The Countess and Garbo's
undiesandbandanas
to Cuban Lover, in which Nanin invoked Cuban luminary and
T-shirts,SEWGAYsets
famed lesbian bed-hopper Mercedes de Acosta with uncanny,
off gaydarsno matter
sultry verve. Nanin's 2005 play, Beyond Love, garnered her the
whereyouare.Fashion
designer
Vanessa
Craig award for Best Lesbian Play in our Lesbian Theater Awards.
This summer, she kicks off the new Globe's stage producdoesmorethansew
tions
with her latest opus, Skin of Honey, about politics and a
a playfultune.The
lesbian
love affair in the wake of the Bay of Pigs invasion. At the
LosAngeles-based
designeralsostarsin theater's Grand Gala Opening in April, Nanin teased an audi-
CurlGirls,the LogoTV
seriesabouta groupof
surfergirlswholiketo,
er,surfwitheachother.
Withhergrandmama's
sewingmachine,
she's
a modern-day
seamFor those mourning the end
stress,silkscreener,
of
the Michigan Womyn's
embroiderer
andtrue
Festival in August, a journey
fashiondesigner.
to the Siren National Festival
Didwe mention
TerryP.Milford,the
(Nov. 1-4) in Portland, Ore.
angrybanana?
should provide a much-needYou'llhaveto goto a
ed post-Pride inSEWGAYeventto meet
fusion of womenthisdeliciousassistant.
centric music, film,
(sew-gay.com)
art and entertainment. The fest boasts an impressive
-I Hammidi
ence with a cherry-picked scene from the play, which started
with sex and ended in a lovers' political quarrel.
Adhering to MACHA'.s mission to build bridges between
the LGBT and straight communities in a multicultural space,
every square inch of the tiny theater fulfills Nanin's vision. The
lobby doubles as an art gallery, while a modest screening room
next to the lobby provides independent filmmakers with a
friendly place to show their work.
In the theater's evening hours, its lobby is a coffeehouse and
gathering place, with Wi-Fi even. You can almost smell the revolution in the air. - Tracy Gilchrist
Calling All Sirens
20
Icurve
lineup including sweet indie act Mirah (above), punk
group the Gossip, self-described "ragtime in minor
keys" outfit Jamie Stillwater Trio and many other
women or women-led artists hailing from the Pacific
Northwest. According to event coordinators, the
trans-friendly extravaganza was designed to provide
a "safe, warm, space" for women to come together to
inspire and build community through art. In the spirit
of inclusion, the fest makes no attempt to define the
category "women;' and men are allowed to attend and
even perform if they are members of a women-fronted
group. Siren will also offer free educational workshops
and a community marketplace designed to allow the
public to form connections with women-centric organizations,
artists and entrepreneurs. After the music and celebrations have
died down, be sure to stay in town and hit up the scene in one
of the most lesbian-friendly communities
in the nation. (sirennation.com)
- Sarah E. Brown
No More
Overpriced Tuition
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Thinking of toiling away to become a doctor or lawyer? Know someone on the brink of dropping out of med school? Here's the perfect
gift: Med School in a Box and Law School in a Box. First, compare
prices and save: Duke: $145,000; Yale $155,000; Med School in a
Box: $15. Med School is a hilarious little metal box filled with a medical education courtesy of Mental Floss magazine. Contents include
a comprehensive textbook (Med School in 96 Pages), 10 heroes of
medicine trading cards, 10 flash cards, a board exam trivia challenge
and a rolled diploma with actual Latin words. The Law School version is equally whimsical. (quirk.com) - Diane Anderson-Minshall
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A Festival for All Seasons
friendly Fort Lauderdale for the 2007 Australian
Festival? Play rugby (don't tackle that cute girl too
hard, now), throw some grub on the barbie and
debauch like they do down under during this six,
day extravaganza. (storytellingcenter.com)
2othAnnualSouthPadreIslandSandCastleDays
{South
PadreIsland,Texas)
Oct.13--0ct.21
Now that Pride season and its inescapable liver,de,
straying, heart,breaking activities have ended, hit,
ting up another fest may be the last thing on your
mind. But, while you missed Missoula, Montana's
famed Annual Testicle Festival (which is surpringly
popular with Rocky Mountain dykes), there are
some off,beat fall festivals that are worth hauling
yourself out of social hibernation for. - Sarah E.
Brown and Katie Peoples
2007Australian
Festival
{FortLauderdale,
Fla.)
Oct.31-Nov.5
Australia is an awesome place, especially if you're
a beach,minded babe, but few have the time or
money to make the day,long trek to the other side
of the world. Thankfully, South Florida has come
up with a way to bring Aussie culture to you. Who
needs Bondi Beach when you can head to LGBT,
Amateur and professional sand sculptors from
all over the world descend on South Padre Island
every year to create beautiful works of art using
natural elements on the beach. The not,for,profit
event showcases the artwork and an appreciation
for the coastal environment, and donates to organi,
zations helping to preserve it. Events include music,
kite flying and sand castle lessons. See it before it
washes away! (sandcastledays.com)
The24thAnnualAlbuquerque
International
Balloon
Fiesta{Albuquerque,
N.M.)
Oct.5--0ct.
14
This annual event is full of hot air! The nine,day
festival is the largest balloon attraction in the
world and features days of races and chances to
fly in hot air balloons. Be a participant or specta,
tor in this celebration of ballooning and enjoy the
bright colors against the big, blue New Mexico sky.
TakeAmerica's
favoriteLGBT
travel
(balloon.fiesta.com)
Dyke~Friendly Dude Ranches
If you're sick of the spa yet in dire need of a respite
from your hectic life, two new guides aimed at
getting you off your bum and into a saddle prove
that dude ranches are a wonderful option for ac,
tive gals looking for a less con,
ventional vacation. Both 100
Best Ranch Vacations in North
(insidersguide.com)
and Dude Ranch Vacations and
Horseback Adventures ( dude,
ranches.gordonsguide.com)
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America
Of the ranches that make an extra effort to
cater to women, a few gems rise above the rest.
For example, Coronado Outfitters in Patagonia,
Ariz. offers wilderness pack trips and horseback
rides at 9,000 feet overlooking
the insanely gorgeous Galiuro,
Huachuca
and Patagonia
mountains. Or try Silver Spur
Ranch in Bandera, Texas,
which lets you shovel bull crap
without the distraction of
machismo bullshit. Your best
bet, though, is to check out
B.C. horse vacations in British
Columbia, which after a day
of getting dirty, lets you show,
er off and then get married
nearby. Honeymoon anyone?
-
Sarah E. Brown
October 2007
I
21
Curvatures
Lesbofile
Designs of the Rich and Famous
Is everyone gay (or a clothing designer) these days: I By Jocelyn Voo
MySpace ... and Then My Place
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,
they say. While LindsayLohanchecked herself
into rehab, one of her 75 "friends" on her private
MySpace profile-which
includes the likes of
NicoleRichieand The Hills star Lauren Conrad-
Sure, she's kissed Helen Mirren and Julianna Margulies
(on-screen, mind you), but she's not done yet. "Jodie
Foster. She totally does it for me. I think she's so amazing."
leaked personal messages between Lohan and
Star magazine regay DJ pal SamanthaRonson,
ports. "Babe, if I don't have you in my life then
I should just go die.... I want to marry you and
have children with you;' Lohan allegedly wrote.
Another message ended with a late-night bidding,
"Go to bed babe ... I love you:' And her sign-off?
"Lindsay Ronson:' Just add "delusional" to Lohan's
ever-growing list of mental woes.
Real Women Have Curves
First it was Madonnafor H&M, then it was Lily
Allen for British line New Look. Now it's the
Gossip frontwoman BethDittowho's hopping on
the singer-turned-designer train. NME reports
that Ditto is in talks with New Look (though
the company declines to comment) for a Dittodesigned range. The singer, of course, has never
been one to hide her desire for clothing designspecifically, for plus-sized girls. She was invited
to play an in-store gig at British retail giant Top
Shop earlier this year, but the rocker refused, saying, "I want to design. Give me the job-I want to
make big sizes:' Consider this payback for Ditto,
who lost out on the title of "Sexiest Woman'' in
the Shock Waves NME 2007 Awards to waif-andtemp-H&M-designer Kate Moss.
But Ditto isn't the only crossover artist. Actor
MichelleRodriguez
is now working on a multiethnic-inspired clothing line. "The company that
I want to start should be ethnic;' Rodriguez,
who grew up in Puerto Rico and the Dominican
Republic, said in Spanish to the Sony channel's It's
Midday in China program, which aired in Latin
America in July."I think there is an awareness, and
people are opening their eyes about the world and
the environment:'
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"JodieFoster.She totally does it for me. I think
World, there's the slut, the bitch, another slut, anshe's so amazing;' Sedgwick answers when asked
other bitch, and, oh yeah, the gay person. Coral
about her most desired kisses. 'J\nd SalmaHayek. Smith, cast member from Real World: Return to
That would be really hot:' But even though the
New York, self-admittedly categorizes herself as
mom of two isn't afraid to engage in lesbian scenes, the bitch of that season. But now, Smith, 28, can
looks like the lesbians won't cut her any slack: ''I've pretty much claim the gay typecast, too. In an inCelebrity Straight: The New Almost Gay
had a lot of friends who have had women make
terview with Outlook magazine, Smith describes
Golden Globe winner KyraSedgwick
is "very marpasses at them, but that has never happened to
her sexual leanings as "very cloudy at this point in
ried [to actor Kevin Bacon] and very heterosexual;'
me;' she says. 'J\nd let me tell you, I'm a little hurt
time. I'm definitely venturing toward my lesbian
but that doesn't stop her from considering herself
by that!"
qualities. It's been a long time coming .... I'm ata "friend of the gays;' she tells The Advocate. Sure,
tracted to beautiful women. Beautiful women
she's kissed HelenMirrenand JuliannaMargulies The Real World Gets Real-er
tend to be attracted to me. It really seems to work
(on-screen, mind you), but she's not done yet.
For every season of MTV's dramafest The Real out for me:' Hey, don't fix it if it ain't
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A Camcorder Revolution
Suzanne Moe is a tattoo artist known for leaving
memorable, lasting impressions on skin. She never
planned on becoming a documentary filmmaker
responsible for leaving her mark on the LGBT
community, much less on the Constitution.
Despite the fact that Barbara and Tibby: A Love
Story in the Face of Hate is shot with a small hand,
held camera, little lighting and zero sound equip,
ment, Moe's documentary is quickly becoming
recognized as the go,to educational piece for any
state confronted with legislation prohibiting civil
unions, partnership contracts or other arrange,
ments between persons of the same sex purporting
to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage.
In Virginia, Moe's state of residence, it's the
Marshall/Newman Amendment that sought to
change the Constitution this past November, at,
tempting to strip not just gay rights, but human
rights. Her rise to political activist and Vote NO
mouthpiece began with an e,mail from her friend
Barbara, explaining that she and her partner of 40
years, Tibby, were moving to Maryland so as not to
become the test case should the amendment pass.
They had reason to fear, as Barbara had just been
diagnosed with a brain aneurysm and her health
was fragile. After four decades of loving and liv,
ing, they weren't willing to risk having their medi,
cal directives, wills, finances and other contractual
agreements deemed null and void.
"That e,mail twisted me;' Moe says. "I printed
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it and carried it around in my back pocket for three
days. I read and re,read it. These women were pil,
lars in my community and they were being run
out of town. I became so angry I started shaking. I
knew time was of the essence and as an artist, ere,
ating for a purpose that matters to me is integral
to who I am:'
Moe approached a weary and semi,closeted
Barbara and Tibby with a proposal. Although she'd
never worked with a camera, she wanted to tell
their story, via video, to their church congregation
so at least the people who cared about them most
would know the truth about why they were leav,
-ing. Barbara and Tibby contemplated it for some
time before agreeing to let Moe videotape them.
They were scared, to be sure, but the video was to
be shown just one time. They found some comfort
in that.
"I started to tremble as I was filming them talk
about their life together;' Moe says. "I knew it was
good and compelling. These women are completely
non,threatening and relatable. At the time, I truly
believed this video would only be seen one night,
but I knew those who saw it would realize how
special this story was and how important it would
be to vote no:'
Moe spent the next two months learning the
software and editing the video. It debuted to 200
people, mostly straight, and concluded with a
standing ovation and several "now I get it" revela,
tions. Barbara and Tibby were blown away by the
response. That one showing led to thousands of
screenings at churches-it also premiered at an
HRC function, was used as a tool in a law school
and was the focus of hundreds of viewing parties
across the country. Thanks to this documentary,
people from all walks oflife are becoming educated
on the veiled wording of these types of amend,
ments and learning how it affects all unmarried
people, regardless of sexual preference.
"This documentary took off not because it's
technically wonderful, but because it's the first
piece of media telling this story;' Moe says. "I was
aware of my ignorance, and I didn't let it stop me.
Sure, someone could have told it better, or made
it look slicker, but the truth was nobody was
doing it."
Although the amendment passed in her home
state of Virginia, Moe refuses to be defeated. She
had no aspirations of becoming a lesbian ambassa,
dor, but now that she is one, she's speaking out not
only about the damning legislation, but also about
the power one individual has to become an agent
for change. Suzanne Moe is proof you don't have
to know what you are doing, you just have to know
why. - Heather Fitz
....
Orrt&Abt l!dlton
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"Pearl\ .... it all.,,,.,,c...
Find someone
you clickwith on
pinksofa.com
To see a clip of Barbara and Tibby: Love in the Face
of Hate or to get information about hosting your own
viewing party, visit sumoe.com.
1 week free trial
Just enter the promo code
CU rve 10 when you join
~sofa.com
connecting lesbians
America's fastest growing lesbian website
October 2007
I23
1 Portland Pride cuties who love CURVE2 Hotties at the Garden Party, a benefit for
New York's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center 3 Amy Alonzo
and Alison Burgos of Pandora Ultra Events got together with CURVEto throw the fabu,
lous Peach Pride Party during Atlanta Pride 4 Twin Cities women know how to show
their pride and political saavy 5 CuRVE publisher Frances Stevens (seated) got some
official recognition from the San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women (from
lefr: Andrea Shorter, Caroline Marks,Jing Xu Lee) for her work promoting lesbian vis,
ibility in the media. Go Franco! 6 More lovelies at Twin Cities Pride in Minneapolis
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Advice
Lipstick & Dipstick
My Memory Box
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: My girlfriend of
four years recently stumbled upon a box of
old letters, cards and pictures from previous
relationships. She was very hurt and upset
about the finding, and after she read through
all of it demanded I throw everything away. I
told her it is part of my past, and I really didn't
want to get rid of my memories. (Throwing
things away doesn't rid me of a past.) This
is very important to her, and the memories
of my life are important to me. I would like to
write a novel some day and would really like
to have some reference. She seems to think
that keeping these mementos suggests that
I'm not committed to our relationship. I think
she should have left my personal stuff alone.
The keepsakes were not in plain view, so she
had to dig. And then once she found them,
she read every single card. - Savin9 Stuff in
South Florida
lipstick:Tell your girlfriend to back the fuck off. I
feel suffocated just by reading your note so I can't
imagine how you feel. The problem here is not
you, but her lack of confidence. Do not throw your
stuff out-that's absurd and, believe me, you'll be
sorry. Find out from your girlfriend
what you can do to reassure her
about your commitment and
your relationship and then be
proactive. But beware: There may
not be a damnthing you can do.
My concern, Sentimental SouthFloridian, is that these veins of inse-
box is tucked away in the
closet, she is front and center
for the world to see. Forget
the hope chest, you're all
about her box now.
Dipstick:
I couldn't agree with you more, Lipstick.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
I have a history of cheating.
My girlfriend has a history of
sleeping with a lot of girls. Neither
of us has ever been in a relationship this
serious; we're talking about getting an
apartment together, wedding, kids. She
just joined the military and is leaving for
basic training soon. She'll be gone for five
months. I'm concerned that she will cheat,
and she is concerned that I will cheat.
What are the chances of us being faithful?
- Cheating Chicks
Tell her Dipstick said the same thing. Even though
it's normal to be a little jealous of ex-girlfriends, this
girl is going too far. She needs to understand that
our pasts make us who we are. Without all those
previous lovers, you wouldn't be the fabulous dyke
she fell in love with today. Don't throw your things
away, but do make sure she knows that while that
Dipstick:Zero. Five months of basic, then what?
She ships off to some foreign land to defend our
oil freedom for two or three years. And with the
military's policy of kicking all the hot lesbians out
of the service, she'll have to keep your love on the
DL. Before she leaves, the two of you should have
curity run deep, and just like you can't put a
Band-Aid on a heart condition, there may not be an
easy fix.She needs to respect you and your thingssnooping is childish-and, most importantly, she
needs to understand the word "boundaries;' and
then build a bridge to get over this. For now, as she's
working through her issues, tell her Lipstick won't
let you get rid of those things. Tell her it was a firm
"No!" from me, and I'll take the heat.
a serious talk about putting your relationship in a
holding pattern until the war is over, or at least until
2008 when a Democrat is elected and the ban on
gays in the military is lifted.
Lipstick:I echo Dipstick's war plan. With your
combined backgrounds, don't even try to be
monogamous; otherwise, you might destroy a
perfectly good thing. Like I've always said: Don't
let your pussy become a weapon of mass destruction. Perhaps you could pledge some other sort
of allegiance like: You'll do your best not to sleep
with that sexy neighbor, the one who's always made
her jealous, or that you won't purposefully go out
on Friday looking for a lovah. But be clear-both
you and her-that if you find yourself in a Jacuzzi
full of attractive lesbians, you might not get out.
And likewise, if your corporal ends up alone at the
shooting range with her female captain, she'd best
follow her orders. It's her duty to serve her country
and serve it well.
26
Icurve
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I don't want to be
gay! It's such a hard life. When I was with my
girlfriend, whom I still love very much, I wasn't
entirely happy mainly because I wasn't happy
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Ask Fairy Butch Advice
Sugar Mama Blues
living that life. I wish I could just fall in love
with a man because things would be so much
easier. How do I deal with this? I don't feel
like I'd be happy either way because I'd
always want what I don't have. Did
you ever feel that way? - Unhappy
Toronto Gay Gir1
Lipstick:
Yes, girl, I feel ya. There was
a time that little Lipstick-this out,
proud and loud dyke-wanted to be
straight just like her sorority sisters.
For a while, after I first realized I loved
women years ago, I wanted nothing more
than to feel those same stirrings for men and to
simply dissolve into the straight melting pot. But
no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't run away
from my truth. And neither can you.
Dipstick:
Lip, you did such a good job trying that
sometimes I still think you're straight. The way you
dress!
Lipstick:Oh geez, here we go again. Dipstick,
there's nothing wrong with wearing something
other than Dr. Martens and jeans. Unhappy Girl,
what I'd encourage you to do is try not to freak out
and don't run away any longer. Just relax and take
a breath, it'll take some time to get comfortable in
your new skin. For now, dig deep and focus on loving yourself unconditionally. You have no control
over your sexual orientation; you were born this
way, so why go on beating yourself up? By working
hard on the inside, you'll wear your sexuality as a
badge of honor one day.Trust me.
Dipstick:
Even though I can't relate Unhappy Girl
(I wanted to be gay as soon as I learned it was an
option), I don't think being straight is easier. Just
about every straight chick I know has, at one point
or another, said she wished she were a lesbian. I guess
men are hard to deal with sometimes. Who knew?
I get along with them fine. Straight people have so
many roles and expectations: get married, have 2.5
kids, buy a house, vacation in Maine. Boring! Being
gay may be harder because we have to pave our own
path, but I wouldn't trade the freedom for anything.
Ultimately, trying to be something you're not is the
most difficult path of all!
0
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...J
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Ask us anything about sex, loveor lesbiansat lipstick
dipstick.com.
Dear Fairy Butch: First
off, this is my first time
reading your article
and I must say, you
give good advice.
Your column is
not only touching and true to
the heart, but
it is very entertaining. OK, I am
in my first lesbian
relationship and I
have some questions
and concerns. My girlfriend is 19, and I am 20. During her last
relationship, her mate practically took
total care of her, and she has gotten so
comfortable that she now doesn't have
a job. We live together and have been
together for a year. I tell her every morning
to go and get a job and she replies, "I've
been going every day." I guess what I am
trying to say is that I love her and I am trying to make this work. But if we are going
to be in a relationship and living together,
somewhere in between there has to be a
middle ground. Do you think I should try
to wait it out just a little longer and see if
she comes through? Or what do you suggest I do? - Waiting in Washington
DearWaiting:Don't wait, Sugar, nothing will
change a bit. Darling, they say that the definition
of crazy is doing the same thing over and over
again and expecting different results. While the
axiom may overstate the case, I think it's certainly apt in this circumstance. I'm telling you here
and now, your girl is going to sit on her pretty
tush, day after day, come hell or high water, good
times and bad and-you can take this bet to the
bank-she will not get a job. So, Cupcake, if you
truly want things to change, here's what you say
to Ms. Gabor:
"Some people can afford (cope with, delight
in, get off on) a partner who doesn't work and
is kept by her lover. I am absolutely not one
of those people. I can't afford (resent, am annoyed with, feel disheartened by the fact) that
you don't work and that you expect me to pay
for everything. I love you, but this will not persist. If you don't have a job in two months, I am,
much to my chagrin, going to have to leave. This
is what you'll have to do for our relationship to
continue. If it is pivotal to you that you not work
for a living, then I'm not the girl for you:'
And mean it.
From the sounds of things, you'd think I was
a tough cookie by nature, Toots, but the truth
is utterly the opposite. My first impulse is most
always to give things another chance and to take
the soft line on love (provided the relationship is
not an abusive one). But I've been in that sort of
I-love-this-chick-so-much-but-there's-this-massive-deal-breaking-way-in-which-she's-not-treating-me-as-she-should-be situation so many more
times than I'd care to admit, Pumpkin, that I
can tell you this: Folks will, most often, get away
with just about as much as you let them. Does
this mean that she's an awful person? Certainly
not, it's a very common way to negotiate one's
They say that the definition of
crazy is doing the same thing
over and over again and expecting different results.
desires while navigating the- sharing of emotional, physical, and financial space with another
person. Dollars to donuts, you've done it before;
I know I have.
So, you have to be firm and be explicit. You
have to set limits. You have to let her know how
things are going to be in this regard and what
will happen if she continues doing what she's
been doing. She may have some unknown issues
with working (or, in fact, she may just prefer not
to) and pushing the subject may enable her to
talk about them. You don't have to alienate her
or be uncaring; tell her that you're there to help
her or to talk about things. And if it comes to it,
I don't think there's anything wrong with giving
her a nudge. I was in the exact same situation
some time ago, and finally, after a year of pleading, cajoling and coercing, swathed in want ads
from head to toe, I took my girl to the local Pizza
Hut and told her to go in and make the acquaintance of her new boss. True story, my dear, and
she did that very thing. Best of luck.
E-mail Jb@fairybutch.com with your queries
regardinglesbianlife,sexualityand romance.
October 2007
I 27
Advice
Astro Grrl
Fall--ingin Love?
Librashave
the oomph
to push
throughand
triumphin
corporate
arenas,
if that's
the plan.
Libra {Sept. 24-0ct. 23)
Sex:You are the apple of her eye this October. Heck, you are her
entire pie! Do you feel the same hunger? If so, invite her over
Libras have the oomph to push through and
for dinner. Career:
triumph in corporate arenas, if that's the plan. Another, perhaps
better plan? Try it on your own.
Scorpio {Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Sex:Love and hot sex can be found at work. Check out who
is sitting on the Xerox machine and make a good impression.
Career:Scarps become excessively generous. You are tempted
to risk your largess on a certain Ms., so let's hope she is not
Ms.Taken.
Sagittarius {Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Sex:You want to cook with Rosemary, but will she give you the
thyme? Spread your spice over an entire tasting menu of exotic
Your professional path may hit a few potholes
lovelies. Career:
through October. Why not bag your current situation and hitch
a ride in a better-equipped vehicle?
job. When will the powers that be recognize you for the royalty
you are? Keep dreaming sister.
Capricorn {Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
Sex:Girlfriends do not understand you. Are you making sense
or just not listening carefully? You're better off charming those
False starts at work can pile
who don't know you as well. Career:
on the late-night hours.Try to escape for a short vacation if you
can. If not, try to dump it on co-workers.
Gemini {May 22-June 21)
Sex:There is a certain neighbor who is particularly neighborly.
Share a cup of sugar with her. OK, forget the cup. Career:
Professional surprises and their various ups and downs continue in October. Thank goodness you maintain a sense of
proportion!
Aquarius{Jan.21-Feb.19)
Sex:Your lack of grace and flair appear to hold a certain charm
for certain women. But know when enough oil is enough. Try
Try to work hard this
to turn it off and be more genuine. Career:
October. You have the energy to clear off your desk so you can
lazily glide by for the next couple of months.
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
Sex:Crabs make quite an impression with a certain lady. Flirting
will get you anywhere and everywhere. Just be sure you know
Think of creative ways to avoid work
where this is going. Career:
this October. You have too much going on in your assorted
sorted goings-on.
Pisces {Feb. 20-March 20)
Sex: Guppies are not only ready to party with the fast crowd,
they can rock and roll to their own tune. Avoid polkas unless
that is her thing. Career:They love you at work all through
October. I can't understand why.
Aries {March 21-April 20)
Sex:Lambda Rams explore new romantic vistas this October.
Will you prefer the mountains, the valleys or a few select caves?
Hey, whatever turns you on. Career:Tackle the tough assignments now so you can party hearty later. Even better, leave the
work for someone else and party hearty now!
2s
I curve
Taurus {April 21-May 21)
Sex:You are especially love-a-bull this October. And you don't
do badly with the fems either. Spread your joy and don't be
stingy. Career:Sapphic Bulls have dreams of grandeur on the
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Sex: If you can't seduce her with charisma, try it with champagne and lavish gifts. If she can't be bought she's not worth the
angst. Career:Don't try to work from home this October. You
are distracted with time wasters. Well, not everything she does
is a complete waste of time.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Sex:Gal pals try to fix you up with a mystery lass. Give yourself a makeover to prepare. Will you be an open book or just
another earmarked page in her diary? Career:Finances fall into
place early in the month but later your heart will rule your wallet. Ah, what a way to
For more advice from the stars, visit our astrologer,Charlene
Lichtenstein, online at thestarryeye.com.
I call this position
•
"U pwa rd-Facing
Pita Chip:'
Advice
Relationships
Coming Out to Your Parents
Try these essential strategies when outing yoursel£
Whether your parents are conservative, Bible
thumpers (like, say, the vice president of the
United States) or ultraliberal, planet huggers
(like, say, the previous vice president of the United
States), coming out is never easy. For many of us,
living quietly within the confines of the mothballinfested closet is like being trapped in one of those
space-bags of winter clothes; we're deflated with
the life sucked out of us, waiting for a better time
and hoping for more seasonable weather to open
up into freedom.
It is difficult to find the courage to tell people
close to you that you are someone other than who
they may think. No one embraces the idea of letting parents down by not fulfilling their expectations that popped out the womb with us at birth.
Bundled up with you in your receiving blankie, like
it or not, were the expectations that you'd meet a
man, have your parents' grandbabies and a giant
wedding of bankrupting proportions. (Hopefully,
not in that order.)
The fear of coming out is no less pervasive
than the fear of the unknown and the fear of rejection. You cannot anticipate fully what they will say
and-in a worst-case scenario-they could turn
their backs on you forever. This unwanted possibility puts a great deal of inherent pressure on one
statement: "Mom, Dad, I'm a lesbian:'
Here are a few strategies to make this difficult
conversation a little easier.
1. Timeand placeare important.
This is not a
conversation that you want to have in the pews
during your little nephew's Christening or on
Christmas morning, as packages of joy are being opened. (Though when you open your sixth
copy of The Rules for Getting a Husband, you may
feel like screaming the news loud enough to wake
the Grinch.) Coming out at the Thanksgiving
meal also is not the best plan. There are carving
knives and way too much wine flowing to make
this an easy transition. It is not suggested that
you try to slip the coming-out into the pre-eating prayer such as "Dear God, thank you for this
food and the little-known fact that many of the
women Pilgrims were lesbians who created this
pot-luckish holiday tradition with their American
Indian female lovers just as flamboyantly lesbian
and happy as my girlfriend, Suzy, and I now are:'
Holidays are stressful enough without adding the
30 I curve
I By Kate Lacey
Suggesta game of Pictionaryand draw yourconfession.
Or playScrabble,spellingout wordslike"dyke,""gay,"
"lesbian"and "Ellen."They'llget it eventually.
weight of this disclosure to the tension.
The best place to have this conversation is in
your parents' house. This way, you can leave when
you need to. As for when to come out, the prime
"outing'' season falls prior to October, although
Halloween might not be a good time to have the
conversation, as your folks may think you're just
trying to scare them. "Sure, sure;' they'll say,'J\.nd
you're also really Xena Warrior Princess like your
costume:' Also avoid April 1, as your parents will
never believe you.
The holidays are already exercises in forced
familial togetherness, and often, the holiday gettogether is the first time that they get to lay eyes on
your new girlfriend. You'll want to give them ample
time between your bombshell and the holiday
function, so that they can get used to the idea. This
may avoid a potentially uncomfortable situation
wherein your partner spends the holiday evening
on the receiving end of your mother's evil eye.
2.Communication
iskey.Understanding who your
parents are and how they communicate (or don't)
will give you solid preparation. You've known
these people your entire life. If dad is a hothead,
you should expect fireworks. Prepare yourself for
it. Bring earplugs for his screaming and have a prepared exit strategy. This conversation will not be
a Heathcliff Huxtable kind of moment. He's not
going to change his stripes and suddenly be nurturing and understanding. He'll blow his top, but
he'll eventually get over it.
Communicate in a way they are used to. If
your folks are not much for talking beyond small
talk, hosting a game night can be a fabulously
nonthreatening avenue for coming out. Suggest a
game of Pictionary and draw your confession. Be
careful what you draw. It could make things a little
too graphic for comfort. Or play Scrabble, spelling
out words like "dyke;' "gay;' "lesbian'' and "Ellen:'
They'll get it eventually.
If communication just doesn't happen in your
familial unit, tape a copy of this article onto their
front door. Write, "This is me, I'm gay;' in the
margins and leave it there for them to read in
their own time. They'll never acknowledge this
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admittance on your part, but, at least, you'll know
that they know.
If your folks are more of the 'Tm disappointed
in you" type, then you may see some waterworks.
Remember, however, it's not your sexuality that
they are crying about. It's their sense of loss of the
expectations that came with you when they had
a baby girl. You may need to allow some griev,
ing time, which is sometimes harder than facing
a screaming, red,faced tantrum. When the tears
have finally dried, they'll come to realize they
haven't lost anything at all.
3. Divideandconquer.
Here is a strategy you may
have employed a great deal in your childhood.
When it comes to difficult conversations, such as
"Can I keep this stray dog?" or "Can I borrow the
car to go to a college party even though I'm just
16?;' the best approach is to divide and conquer
the folks. You approach the easier one first and get
approval, then employ that alliance to get to the
other, more,diflicult parent to acquiesce.
You may be surprised-and
it's quite com,
mon-that at least one of your parents, or even
a sibling, will coolly note that they knew you were
gay all along and will ask what took you so long to
come out. Now you've got an ally, as you must face
the other parent. This person can serve as an excel,
lent defuser of the situation's tension.
Even if the first parent you tell is not so accept,
ing, you can still find strength and empowerment
in getting through the conversation the first time.
Facing the other parent, knowing that someone
else in the room already knows your secret, can
take some of the pressure off the situation.
Sure, it's a bit on the chicken side, to say,'Tm
glad you understand. Umm, can you break the
news to mom for me?'' But it beats having a Jerry
Springer moment when you can avoid it.
4. Someeducation
is required.
Be ready for stupid
questions. They can't help it. Everything they know
about being gay they learned from unrealistic talk
shows and Will & Grace.They may want to know
if your girlfriend "brainwashed you" or if you' re
just lonely, unable to find a man. They'll say it's just
a stage and that you'll grow out of it. You'll have to
patiently debunk these notions which allow them
to rationalize and minimize your lifestyle. You'll
have to talk to them about being born this way, if
you believe that, or about making choices that feel
right for who you have always been. It may take
awhile for them to get it. But time will become
your ally in this regard. Be patient and do not lose
your temper or your sense of humor.
They may ask insulting, inane questions
like, "Who's the boy?" And you'll have to try to
patiently explain gender dynamics to them. Or you
could go for the easy out (pardon the pun) and say,
"She is the boy:' Or they may ask, "What did we
do wrong?" in which case you should assure them
that there was nothing they could do to change
this. When they insist on something, tell them it
was that they never gave you the pony you wanted,
just to give them something to hold onto. Some
folks need that to move on. (It's as relevant as the
fact that they let you play with GI Joe and pitch in
the boy's little league.)
You may have to re,educate them regarding
stereotypes that they have, as you may be the
first 'gay" they've ever really talked to. They may
be surprised to find out that not all lesbians are
man,haters who won't eat meat and were sexually
abused as children. You'll likely have to remind
them that you're still the same person that they
loved and supported yesterday and that whom
you sleep with and live with does not change who
you are, at heart the same good person that they
raised. You'll likely have to remind them that you
can still have a wedding that they'll have to pay for,
grandchildren that they'll have to baby,sit, and a
house in the suburbs that they'll have to co,sign
for. But the better news is that your girlfriend can
tune up their car and still make a mean pot roast at
the same time. They may find that your partner is
more personable and well,rounded than any guy
you could have brought home.
They may try to educate themselves, but be
prepared for the worse in this regard. They will go
to their pastor or priest, to bad reality,TV shows
and to Blockbuster to rent the entire series of The
L Word. Then, you'll have a lot of explaining and
re,educating to do. Be patient with them and have
a therapist on standby for an emergency counsel,
ing session to attempt to explain that just because
a character on the show decides to go back to men,
does not mean that you will or that it is com,
•mon among lesbians. And, well, explaining The L
Word's Max/Moira is light years away.
Coming Out to Your Parents continued on page 76
October 2007
I31
Dyke Drama
Michele Fisher
Is Your Dramamobile a Two-Seater?
So your sex life is boring, and you are thinking of having an affair.
I was never so happy to be the third wheel in my life. I guess they had been
having some problems in the bedroom. I suppose that is why they came to
the club that night looking for someone to bring home. All I knew was that
two reasonably attractive women were corning on to me. I had gone out that
night in search of someone to roll around with for a few hours, and I had hit
the jackpot with two women at once! When they asked me to go back to their
hotel with them, I almost forgot my coat.
I can't say that it wasn't fun. It was funtastic. But when it was time to go, it
was time to go. I took my cue when one of them sat up and whispered over my
chest to her lover,"I hope you got what you wanted out of this:' Nothing gets
me out of bed like the scent of percolating drama. I was hoping for an early,
morning quickie, but I settled for getting out before the fur started flying. I
never regretted the experience, but I had the feeling that they were going to.
Have you and your lover stopped talking about your lacking sex life? You
used to discuss it, but now you just accept the fact that you are becoming
roommates who know each others' PIN numbers. You can't go on like this
forever. You two have thought about couples' therapy but agree that it is just
a really expensive way to break up.
Don't have an affair. Don't act like it hasn't crossed your mind, and
don't think that it hasn't popped into your partner's head, either. I know it
is inconceivable to you that your wife could consider having relations with
anybody but you, but you are not the only one with needs in this relationship,
you know. (Given how annoying it was to read that sentence, do you really
want to have to hear it from a woman's lips?)
Lesbians often have affairs so that they can end a relationship. I don't know
why we think it is better to do something really mean and stupid before we
end it with a woman, but that seems to be an accepted practice. I guess we
believe that having a reason, meaning another woman, is better than telling a
woman that you're leaving her just because you're not happy. Huh? Woman up
already! Do everybody a favor. If you need to break up with her, go ahead and
do it. Yes, she is going to hate you. People who get dumped are supposed to
hate the people who dump them. It is the natural order of things.
But maybe you and your honey have already decided that you want to stay
together and you both have promised to be faithful to one another even if it
means a lackluster love life. Of course, you both hope that you are not doomed
to a sexless fate.
One day, one of you will hit upon the idea of bringing another woman, or
two, into the bedroom as a cure for what ails. Maybe you can see other people
... together.
The shopping stage is fun. In fact, you might be wise to stop this whole
adventure at the shopping stage. You and your lady
can spend hours of quality time together looking for
that special someone or couple or orgy. Instead of
talking about what is wrong all the time and worrying
about what is going to happen, you two can look for
what is right and exciting for you. Surf the 'Net, buy
toys, rent some porn and you might be surprised how
much desire you still have for one another. Exploit
this opportunity to solve your problems on your own.
Really, you might want to stop short of making your
twosome into a threesome or a conga line.
But if you two are married to the idea of seeing
this thing through and seeing other people naked,
then at least do it out of town, way out of town.
Do you really think you two can go out and bor,
row a cup of booty from the dykes down the block
and then go on like nothing happened? That is not
what they mean by "neighborhood watch:' It doesn't
matter how strong you think your friendship is, it
isn't strong enough to withstand an evening of swing,
ing. A good neighbor is harder to find than a good
screw, and the benefits are certainly more enduring,
so buy a couple of plane tickets.
Stay away from professional swingers. Why?
Because they are weird and unattractive. I don't know
why swingers aren't better looking, they just aren't.
Don't you watch HBO? And if they are not ugly,then
they will be crazy or criminal, so don't wear the good
jewelry to the ho' down.
Stick with other armatures like yourselves. Wear
32
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wigs, even during sex (you might discover a new fetish), and always use aliases
so if you do end up on YouTube you have plausible deniability.
Before you embark upon your sexploit, remember that it is impossible for
one person to pay the exact same amount of attention to two people at once.
Before you hit the sheets, know that somebody is going to get their feelings
hurt. There is no Even Steven in sex. Somebody is going to get the short end
of the dildo.
You think that it is going to be hot to see somebody else doing your woman,
but are you truly prepared for that sight? What if she is having the time of her
life?Aren't you going to wonder why she never squeals like that at home? What
are you going to do, grab your thong and go blubbering out the front door?
If you two decide to romp with another couple, it is highly likely that you
will find one of the duo more appealing than the other, and that is bound to
come out in obvious ways, such as moaning. Then you will be forced to pay
attention to a woman you don't really want to because you don't want to hurt
her feelings or make her mad enough to leave with the woman you really want
to be with. If you were willing to go through all of that drama, you might as
well have stayed home and tried to have sex with your own wife.
Sure, it could be super sexy to see your wife watching you get down with
another woman, but what if you peek out from between someone else's legs
and see your wife wearing a mask of anger or disgust? Do you really want to
stop what you are doing and check in with her? Talk about bringing the grind~
ing to a halt. If your date( s) came from an Internet connection, prepare for
some bad "feedback" next time you log in.
Instead, you two might consider a sex club. The major drawback to that is
you must have some voyeuristic tendencies or learn to live with those tenden~
cies in other patrons to enjoy your sex club experience. As a person who be~
comes embarrassed getting dressed in front of the family pet and experiences
stage fright when my number is called out at the bakery, I was never able to get
into the whole sex club thing.
Even if your sexcapade is a success and you and your lover reawaken your
sexual desires, who is to say they will run toward each other? You two may
indeed discover that you are sexual beings who need the touch of another
but not each other. Now your little adventure turns into a roller coaster ride
straight to hell!
Yes, some might say it is better to know than not to know, but they are
obviously gluttons for punishment.
Are you and your gal going to be satisfied with just one close encounter,
or will this adventure serve to whet your freaky appetites? What if once was
plenty for you, but group sex was like Lay's potato chips to your girl?
All this is going to lead to talking about boundaries and rules and ana~
lyzing. Yuck. Nothing ruins sex, crushes, and desire like talking about it.
Thirty hours into the "discussion'' about what happened will put you off sex
for life.
By now you have surmised that I am not an impartial observer on this sub~
ject. I have yet to see swinging solvea couple'ssexual problems. Throwing another
person into a sex life that isn't working is like driving a nail into a flat tire.
But if you don't believe me, at least invest in the wigs.
October 2007
I33
Politics
VictoriaA. Brownworth
Are We ReallyReadyfor Hillary?
Fantasies come and fantasies go, but reality always bites.
I was going to write about travel for this issue. I had some things I wanted to
say about women and borders and the freedom to move from place to place
safely.It would have been pithy and political, as I strive to be.
Then I read yet another piece trashing Sen. Hillary Clinton, by a wellknown woman writer who calls herself a feminist, and, well, I just had to
make some statements of my own.
It's been a rough few months for women
on the campaign trail.
Back at the end of June, Elizabeth
Edwards had a dust-up with the always
despicable Ann Coulter, the poster "girl"for
right-wing fanaticism in America. Edwards
wanted Coulter to stop calling her husband,
presidential contender and former Senator
John Edwards, a faggot and to just generally
stop being so vile.
Coulter, known for other shocking
comments, like calling the 9 / 11 widows
"harpies" who were "glad their husbands
died;' naturally, refused to raise her game.
While checking for Coulter's quotes
about Hillary, I found something far more
interesting-the
following query at yahooanswers.com: "If Hillary Clinton had
looked like Ann Coulter instead of herself,
would you still hate her?"
This is the crux of the issue in Hillary
Clinton's run for president. She's not just a
candidate, but the front-runner among both
Democrats and Republicans -no candidate comes close to her poll numbers
-not Barack Obama or John Edwards in her own party, not Fred Thompson
or Rudy Giuliani among the Republicans. So Hillary's not a fringe candidate,
like previous women who have run for president. She has to be taken seriously by everyone, men and women, conservative and liberal.
And therein lies the problem: Is Hillary Clinton too much of a real woman and not enough of a fake one to be "electable'' in an America where real
women are still very much second-class citizens? Hillary Clinton isn't Paris
Hilton. She doesn't do Botox, she doesn't have hair extensions, she hasn't had
liposuction.
She's a middle-aged woman with wrinkles and big hips and, according to
Ann Coulter, has "fat legs" that must be hidden beneath pant suits.
Barack Obama's ears stick out. Bill Richardson is fat. Dennis Kucinich
looks a bit like a Martian. But those facts aren't even the stuff of late-night,
talk-show comedians.
Yet when people discuss Hillary, they don't talk about how smart she is, or
that she's won all of the debates so far, including the one at Howard University
where it was her oration that brought the house down. They don't discuss her
wide-ranging interests, her many policy initiatives, the fact that her constituents love her. They don't discuss her trip to China as a feminist emissary. They
don't discuss her books. They don't discuss her work for charity. They don't
t
34
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discuss how she won two senatorial elections in landslide victories.
What they discuss is her looks and her personality.
Which is why I think we aren't nearly ready to elect a woman president.
In May 2007, France came close to voting in its first woman president,
Segolene Royal, an LGBT supporter who had been living with her male lover
for 20 years and had several children out
of wedlock with him. She lost, but not by
much; she got 4 7 percent of the vote.
Liberia elected its first woman president, Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, in January
2006.
Germany voted in its first woman
chancellor, Angela Merkel, in November
2005.
Pakistan became the first Muslim
state to elect a woman in 1988 when
Benazir Bhutto won the presidency. The
Philippines voted in their first woman
president, Corazon Aquino, in 1986. The
U.K. voted in its first woman prime minister, Margaret Thatcher, in 1979. Israel
elected Golda Meir in 1969. India elected
Indira Gandhi in 1966.
There have been others, but you get
the point. Even China had Mrs. Mao.
But here's where people, as many
women as men, start clearing their throats
and shuffling their feet and looking off
into the middle distance. "Well, if it were
anyone but Hillary;' they say.
Why? And more importantly, who?
Anna Quindlen wrote in Newsweekthat she had thought the first woman
president would "turn the whole lousy system upside down and inside out:'
Fantasies come and fantasies go, but reality always bites.
Isn't that the problem with Hillary? She's all reality and no fantasy? We
know her, we came of political age with her. Hillary's the woman with the
degrees and the acumen who refused to take a back seat as First Lady, taking
Eleanor Roosevelt for her role model.
But Hillary was also-her tear-stained face covered in big sunglassesthe woman who weathered her husband's very public affair with a much
younger woman. (Eleanor did that too, but there was no Internet or TV in
those days.) Hillary withstood the many late-night jokes that it was her sexual frigidity that made Bill look elsewhere for fun.
We know a lot about Hillary. We know that she likes chocolate and that
she loves the man she fell in love with decades ago, no matter how bad a
boy he is. We know she is fiercely protective of her own daughter and of all
children because we saw how she was with Chelsea and we read her book, It
Takes a Village.
But here's the most important thing that we know about Hillary Clinton,
and that we just keep refusing to acknowledge. Hillary Clinton is tough as
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nails. She's taken on the "vast right-wing conspiracy"-and which we now
have all been victimized by-and she's held their collective and arrogant feet
to the fire. Hillary knows something the other Democratic candidates have
yet to discover: Trial by fire toughens you up. Once you've had to run the
kind of gauntlets Hillary Clinton had to run when Bill was president, you
can take on anything.
Which is why she wins the debates-because she doesn't allow the moderators to set the agenda. She sets the agenda. She reminds everyone that
it was Bush, not the Democrats, who led the country to war based on lies.
most common violent crimes in America, where more women graduate from
college but fewer get good jobs than men, where little girls think they might
like Hillary better if she looked like Ann Coulter or Paris Hilton instead of
somebody's mother.
Those who think Hillary Clinton isn't a feminist, think again. Her campaign is the only one in American history run by women because she thinks
women are smart enough and savvy enough to run things. Think she won't
make important changes for women as president:' She already has just by
being the leading candidate and trouncing all her opponents-every one of
them men.
I've spent nearly eight years living under the regime
of a criminally stupid man who had a C average in college and failed at every job he had before he became
president based on his father's legacy, not his own.
There are those who say Hillary is running on her
husband's name, but the fact is, she's running on her own
merits. She never had a C average in her life. She never
failed at anything before running for president. She is the only woman in
American history to get where she is, and instead of being proud of her, we
can't find enough mud to sling at her.
The overarching question of Hillary Clinton's candidacy should not be,
does Hillary have an image problem, but rather, does America have a problem
with the image of a woman running.the country:' That answer will reflect on
us, in the end, not on Hillary Clinton.
Here'sthe most importantthingthat we know
about HillaryClinton.She is toughas nails.Hillary
knowssomethingthe other Democraticcandidates
haveyet to discover:Trialby firetoughensyou up.
She reminds everyone that if it were whites, not blacks, for who AIDS was
the leading cause of death, there would be a nationwide outcry. She reminds
every woman in America that there was a time when women couldn't wear
the pants, because it was illegal to do so.
Do I wish Hillary was more left, more outrageous, more of a fantasy and
less of a reality:' Of course. But I live in the real world where real women
still make only two-thirds of what men make, where rape is still one of the
October 2007
I35
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people and finding out where and what that culture is. That
to me is tremendouslyfulfillingand exciting.
Yeah,to me the most exciting part of being queer is really discovering all the different definitions of who we are and really looking at it. I chink the transgender community bas
been a very quiet section of the GLBT, like it's not quiet but
the invisible part .... The visibility,I chink, is really impor~
rant because then it really helps people who feel that way
come otit and feel comfortable about it and so people like
the Cliks' Lucas Silveira and [comic] Ian Harvie are such
important artists because they're really paving the way of
all things queer and they're really trailblazers in gender and
identity, and thats a really exciting thing.
Yeah.And it's funny how it's made me more femme. Because I
want to dearly define myself against all these, to position my
identity within all these different trans people.LikeI feel my
own femme tendencies even more.
They're so crushy, crush, crush, crush. I also have a huge crush
on Michelle Rodriguez. She's so beautiful, let's see, who else
is good? I also love James, James McAvoy,he was the guy
that was in TI,cLast Kingof Stotland.He reallylooked like
a trans guy.
[Laughs.]No I don't think so. I would stay in that gold thing.
Never.No. She'sso hoc.I lovehow she'schopping wood. She's
so butch. I loveJane Lyru:hand·I've knownher fur a really _
long time.... We used to do shows together at Highways
years
and years ago. I've been a fan foreverand she'sso hilarious.
She'san amazing actor. She finds amazing things withina ~t.
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Two real-life divas-and life partnerstake stage at Lincoln Center
in New York City this month.
ments in our one-bedroom Manhattan apartment;' says Clayton.
Though neither performer was ever closeted personally or professionally,
coming out in print was a coming out of a different sort. Racette was slated for
a cover story interview for the June 2002 issue of Opera News when at the last
minute, writer Eric Myers asked if she wanted to go public about her relationship with Clayton. "We had talked about it for some time;' says Racette, "and
decided it was time to do it:' Both agree that every lesbian must do her part
to break down barriers and challenge homophobia wherever it exists. While
opera has always attracted gay performers and fans, the local folks at regional
performance spaces perhaps did not know about the Racette-Clayton coupling until after the media attention regarding their sexuality exploded. But
both report little repercussion from that article. Says Racette: "We heard that
the publication received a few negative letters, but by and large our experience
since has been very positive:'
Clayton points out, "When you tell an American you are an opera singer,
their response is 'Wow' and they already have a positive image of us. A few
minutes later it comes out in conversation that we are lesbians, it doesn't matter because we'vejust made an initial positive impact. Although we hate that
we have to do it in that particular fashion, it is one way of using our public
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It's the stuff oflyrics and librettos, the story of how two American opera stars,
soprano Patricia Racette and mezzo-soprano Beth Clayton, met. It goes like
this: In 1997, both were at the Santa Fe Opera rehearsing La Traviata. Their
worlds collided and their romance and courtship were as hot as the mid summer New Mexico sun. As Racette has famously been quoted, "It was the first
time Violetta ever went home with Flora:'
Cut to October 2007: The couple has been together 10 years, was married
at their home in Santa Fe in 2005 and is happier now and more successful
than ever in their own careers. Speaking from the Tanglewood Music Festival
in Massachusetts, where Racette was rehearsing for Don Carlo and Clayton
had just flown in from a production of Orlando in Munich to be by her partner's side, they both took time to speak with CURVE about the uncanny
occurrence of both women performing at Lincoln Center this month.
Clayton, 38, will lead the production of Carmen at the New York City
Opera (Oct. 5-Nov. 17: nycopera.com) while Racette, 42, will headline in
Madama Butterfly (Oct. 8-27: metoperafamily.org). "It's total girl power on
Lincoln Square. A real first-two partners singing on the Plaza at the same
time;' exclaims Racette's manager Caroline Woodfield. It's a rare coincidence
indeed and one that involves each singer's core repertoire. "It's basically the
meat and potatoes of both our careers, and we both die at the end of the
night;' laughs Racette .
The last and only time Clayton and Racette were together at Lincoln
Plaza was in 2005 singing"Flower Duet" at the True Colors gay pride party
hosted by famous writer, actor and drag queen Charles Busch. This time will
be quite different. They will be engaged in exhausting runs of two of the best
known operas in the world that will challenge them both professionally and
personally. "We have several days where we have back-to-back performances.
It will be very interesting logistically to work out sleeping and resting arrange-
personas in a very useful manner for our community. Especially in a time of
the escalating Right, our sensitivity is heightened and our lesbian perspective allows our minds to be more open, meaning we're more inclusive in our
thinking because we still live what is considered an 'alternative lifestyle:" Adds
Racette, "Especially under the current administration where ·wehave no legal
rights or recognition for our marriage, no validation for our relationship, it's
important to us to use whatever public power we posses in a way that benefits
our community:'
Laughing together, the couple encourages and supports each other's statements. When asked to describe their personal style, Racette claims "visceral"
while Clayton lovingly scolds that she herself just used the same word to describe performing live before an audience. ''I'd say Pat is intense;' says Clayton
while Racette is quick to chime in that"Beth's elegance is her signature:' Both
concur that opera is "demanding both emotionally and physically and requires
much inner strength and resolve:'
'J\.lthough many operas were written hundreds of years ago, they are the
stuff of poetry, literature and music, with everyday themes of love, lust, greed
and hatred that are timeless. However, continues Racette, "society's ideals of
women have since changed:' For example, as an actor she portrays Cio-CioSan as a strong woman who goes against the mores of her day rather than as
the weak, subservient stereotype of Asian women that some choose to believe
Butterfly represents.
At their home in Santa Fe, N.M. where, Clayton is quick to point out,
there are the most lesbians per capita in the U.S.; the couple happily "hibernates" between performances, some of which are booked through 2012. They
relax together with apricot toy poodle Sappho who, both agree is "the biggest
lady in the house, a total diva with a huge personality;' Clayton says.'J\ft:er all,
she's been around for 8-1/2
October 2007
I41
••••••••
....
· +
NEW ADVENTURES
paradise
losta
found
Fromairlinedelaysto ridingthe
waves-two girlsventureto Hawaii
By Gillian Kendall
The plan for our trip to paradise seemed infallible. My partner
and I, heading home to Australia from North America, were
stopping to luxuriate for five nights at a resort chat routinely
wins prizes for most beautiful view on Oahu. We wanted,
needed and deserved this.
We had separate flights from Canada, but both were supposed to land in Honolulu on Friday evening. Over breakfast
in Vancouver, I grilled Nicole. "Tell me the plan;' I said, making
her put down her newspaper.
"What plan?'' she asked. We had discussed the plan the
night before but, as I'd suspected, she had no memory of it.
''The plan for meeting at the airport;' I said._
"Oh, easy. You'll meet my plane:' She returned to perusing
the arts section.
I persisted, knowing chat flights to Hawaii from the main-
42
I curve
land often went awry. "And if I'm not there:>Then you'll go to
the rental car place, right:>"
"Right," she said, serenely buttering her coast and not
paying attention.
"What if I'm not there, either?" I prodded.
"Then it means your plane is late, and I'll come and meet
you:' My beloved resumed eating in a manner chat suggested the
conversation was over.
Unfortunately, my flight from Los Angeles was delayed 24
hours, and I had no way to contact Nicole. Our Australian cell
phones weren't working, and worse, she had no place to stay.
Every hotel, motel and B&B on Oahu was completely booked
because of a) a U2 concert, b) the annual marathon, and c) the
Pipeline Classic surfing contest.
Nicole arrived on Friday night and was told by airline representatives-who
should have known better-chat
I'd be
arriving on the next flight from L.A. And the next. And the
next. She spent 18 hours meeting flights that I was not on. She
finally gave up and spent her second night in paradise scrunched
in the back seat of a rental Jeep.
When I finally reached the resort at midnight on Saturday,
I rushed to the room. Inserting the key card, I called 'J\loha!;'
ready to ravish Nicole and interrogate her: Where had she
been? Coconut macaroons reseed on the pillows, but there was
no Nicole. No note from Nicole. No Nicole's stuff.
I didn't know whether she'd found a beach to sleep on or if
she'd run off one of the scenic cliff roads in her distress. Was she
sleeping calmly by the waves or has she been crushed at the bottom of a ravine?
In Oahu, the police form for reporting a missing person
gives you three options for gender; you can identify your missing friend as "male;' "female" or "transvestite:' Although Nicole
does wear men's clothing, I securely checked "female" and gave
details to help the detectives find her: hazel eyed, auburn haired,
stocky, Australian butch, precious and, most of all, lost. And I
left out any mention of her surgery scars. If they found those, it
would mean she was in a morgue.
Sunday morning, as I was contemplating how to call her
father and say that I'd misplaced his oldest child, Nicole turned
up. "Thank God you're all right!" I said, embracing her. In unison we demanded, "Where have you been?" After hours of talking, touching and sleeping, we felt reunited and refreshed enough
to explore paradise for our remaining three days.
We first hit the Turtle Bay Resort, the only resort on the
North Shore, is 880 acres spread over an astonishing knife-tip
peninsula. One side offers wild waves for serious surfing, and
on the other lies a sandy, shallow beach. Two pro-designed golf
courses and an elaborate spa make it parent-friendly; while adults
indulge, kids can run from slide to pool to beach, wild and safe
at the same time. But a few acres away, honeymooners and other
hedonists can easily find secluded coves to get cozy in.
Nicole and I held hands, more from fear of separation than
a determined show of pride; after our two-day ordeal, neither
of us would let the other out of sight. The resort alone is big
enough to get lost in, and the island is known for, well, ABC's
hit Lost, which is filmed locally in jungles and on beaches.
It astonishes me that the majority of visitors to Oahu never
make it out of Honolulu. Most stay in Waikiki or hop off to
Maui and the Big Island on pricey inter-island flights. But the
two-hour drive to the North Shore takes one into equally exotic
scenery, as different from Honolulu as any of the other islands
are. With no major cities, a few small towns and only onecount it, one-resort, the North Shore is quieter, safer, cleaner
and less expensive than the south.
The two-lane Kamehameha highway winds through mountains and along the shoreline, taking you from waterfront to
waterfall through colorful surf towns. Lanikai's eye-candy cliffs
shelter homes of Hollywood celebrities, including many from
Lost, and the beach that Conde Nast Traveler calls the best in
the world. Novices can kayak out to the two hill-island "mokes"
for private sunbathing, while landlubbers can lounge on the
quicksilver beaches or hike the golf course green hills way
above the Pacific.
North Shore dinner options range from the exquisite, surfside Ola-winner of several awards for best new restaurant on
Oahu, it features Hawaiian cuisine prepared with local produce-to fantastic, freewheeling, free-market "shrimp trucks"
that serve up steaming plates of just-caught giant shrimp, Asian
rice and corn for about $12.
North Shore snorkeling is modest by Hawaiian standards,
but you can still find exciting sea life. Nie and I spent hours
trailing behind a graceful green sea turtle, which was as accepting of us as we were amazed by it.
What it lacks in colorful corals, the North Shore makes up
for with surf culture. My bumper sticker proclaiming "I survived North Shore" is the envy of every surfer Down Under.
While the international pros competing in the Pipeline Classic
zoomed down the steep cliffs of water, I joined two other beginners for our first surflesson in a cove where the waves were more
like ripples. The Hans Hedemann Surf School blessed us with
long, lean Ash as our instructor; he seemed an ideal potential
sperm donor as well as Zen surf master.
On a board on the sand, before we got wet, Ash demonstrated the four simple steps that would take us from thrashing
about in the water to standing up and gliding to the beach in
glory. The first step was moving from a flat position to kneeling.
The second was kneeling on one knee. I was leaning forward
to watch everything Ash did, nearly bursting my wetsuit with
anxiety to memorize his moves. "Don't look at me like that;' he
warned. "This is only steps one and two!" I tried to relax, but
steps three and four were tricky dance maneuvers, exhausting
to perform even on the sand. Once in the water, I'd be lucky to
get up on my knees.
Ash pushed me onto my first wave and shouted encouragement as I executed steps one and two. But then, instead of
shifring my weight to my rear foot and squatting (step three),
I spectacularly fell off. My board went shoreward and I hit the
bottom, but the springy plastic tether boinged me-and my
ride-back to the surface in the crashing, shallow surt.
Ash waited, bobbing on the waves, while I made the long,
tiring paddle back out. "Nice try;' he lied, and made me highfive him. "You know, some people do better going directly up to
their feet;' he said. "Skip step two:•
"Skip step twof' What do you mean?" I asked. "Never mind;'
Ash said. "Here's a cute wave; just do it:' He shoved me onto
the break, and I felt the hydraulic power lifting the board. It's
energy seemed to carry me up through steps one, two, whatever.
I was standing up! Surfing!
For a good two seconds before I hit the wash, I felt
triumphant.
My girlfriend didn't get any photos of me standing, but then,
she had a very small window of opportunity. Her images show
me as I spent most of that morning: paddling out, kneeling up,
falling down. Still, I got to my feet on four waves, and collectively those were the best 10 seconds of my life. Despite the lost
days of vacation and the girlfriend missing in action, there was
exhilaration and glory. Paradise found.
Nicoleand I
held hands,
morefrom
fear of
separation
than a
determined
showof
pride.After
our twoday ordeal,
neitherof us
wouldlet the
otherout
of sight.
October 2007
I43
a tripfitfora queen
Get a tasteof the good lifein Victoria,BritishColumbia.
By Karen Loftus
44 I curve
I tend to bring a bit of ambition on trips. With so little time
and so much to see, I'm often running around a city, making
sure I fit it all in. Years ago, my friend Fay and I were racing
through the streets of Edinburgh with nary a look at the incredible views. With a schedule of five shows per day, we were trying to catch our next act. Like true New Yorkers we walked,
heads down, hoof to heel, and we were panting when we arrived.
As we locked eyes, we recognized the need to achieve in each
other. Caught off guard by our own ridiculousness, we bent
over howling with laughter in spite of ourselves. It was the best
entertainment of the day.
Last summer, flyingback from Berlin, I sat next to a documentary filmmaker, behind his well-heeled parents, who appeared
posh and privileged from a distance. I was finally relaxing after a
week of hard-core sightseeing, ordering my second glass of port
for all the flight to see, puffed up and proud of my newfound decadence. He recalled their leisurely vacay,"There was none of that
cultural BS. It was a real vacation with lazy days on the beach
with lots of reading and the best meals imaginable. What about
yout More embarrassed than accomplished, I stuffed aside my
many brochures, my global trophies, and said, "Same:•
This time, my plan for Victoria was not to have one. Once
known for the newlyweds and nearly dead, it's now a chill destination spot for those who want to kick back or kick it up a notch
on the culinary front. Prepared for the ultimate in Canadian
comfort, I checked into the Magnolia Hotel and Spa, a classic
hotel in the center of town, steps from the water. I rented a car
but decided at the last minute to leave driving behind, as I realized most of Victoria is best experienced on foot.
There's an unavoidable European-style pub culture on the
island, and so I started at Irish Times, a beautiful building with
great beers, music and an extensive wine list. I had a Mission Hill
pinot and chatted with a guy from the Canadian navy, then went
in search of Spinnaker's, a well-known 'gastropub" where they
offer local food and wines, and brew beers on site. I asked for
directions from Don, an older local. With three hip daughters
in tow, covered in tattoos and piercings, the friendly foursome
walked me across the bridge, had several glasses of wine with me,
and invited me back for homemade wine. That's what I call travel
trust and going with the flow.
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Next day, I wandered the streets, hitting LoJo for shop,
ping. Patch, an enormous and well,displayed vintage shop, is
your best bet for one,of,a,kind finds and bargains. Addiction
is the shop for fashion,forward pieces from Canada, the U.S.
and Europe. It's comparable to Fred Segal's and H Lorenzo in
Los Angeles or Scoop in New York, thanks to owner Stefani
Hartwig, who really knows her stuff.
During lunch at Re,Bar Modern Food, a vegetarian restau,
rant, I couldn't help but see the similarity to Seattle: the even
mix of expressive tats and the seemingly conservative who
dress for sports or weather, with a laid,back vibe and an all,are,
welcome attitude. A local named Heather told me there is no
gay neighborhood, as all communities blend together, equally
accepted. That carries over to nightlife, where all intermingle
except at Prism, Victoria's only exclusively LGBT nightclub.
I continued to Fisgard Street, Canada's oldest and perhaps
smallest Chinatown. En route I hit Silk Road, a tea shop with
a spa, tea bar and tastings. Lovely! Fan Tan Alley, off Fisgard, is
the tiniest street in town. I felt like Alice in urban,land, sneak,
ing down the alley with its eclectic shops and a noodle store
serving straight from the kitchen. I picked up an Om necklace at
Triple Spiral, a goddess shop, and scooted around the corner to
Herald Street, touted as the Design District. Josephine's, a must
for Martha Stewart,wannabees or Victorian types, is filled with
everything from pillowcases and furniture to perfume, lingerie
and culinary treats. A feminine heaven.
Victorians, largely Canadians from other parts of Canada,
have sophisticated taste and really champion the little guy, from
shops to restaurants. On every corner is one unique coffee shop
after another. Beans Around the World, Habit and Cafe Mela
are spots that inspire you to write and reflect.
I love when a city leads me. On my way home, I was pulled
down another alley to a Portuguese tapas bar. An older man,
Luis Merino, was seated outside with a decanter of red wine,
cigarettes and a journal; it was a quiet and inspired site. Merino,
one of the city's top artists, asked me to join him. A glass of
wine, and I was good to go.
With a style similar to Picasso, Merino's paintings-all of
sexy and intriguing women, some from his native Mexico-
adorned the tapas bar's wall; others hang in some of the best
restaurants in town. You can't plan an afternoon like that. Just
get out of the way and allow serendipity to come into play.
The next day, Kathy from Travel With Taste took me to local
boutique wineries on the Saanich Peninsula. Starling Winery,
run by three couples, is a slice of heaven with a greenhouse,
great grounds, a tiny dog named Buttons, and five peacocks that
wandered around. The yummy Ortega was a nice end and great
beginning to winemaker Jacqueline's gardening.
Up the road, Winchester Cellars, a certified,organic winery,
served a spicy pinot. The winemaker likes to add a twist, a 5 per,
cent surprise, into the mix of his wines. Perfection! We ended
our early,morning wine tour at the famed Butchart Garden's,
Victoria's Versailles. For lunch, we had a bison burger and potato
bisque soup, paired with local wines, before hitting Bob Marley's
cousin's winery, Marley Farms, known for its fruit wines.
After my day away,I hit the Sapphire Spa for a seaweed body
treatment and Shirodhara, an ancient method for clearing the
mind, which caused a series of prophetic dreams that night. Before
bedtime, I had dinner at Pescatore's, a local institution. I had the
best carpaccio, fresh halibut caught that day, topped with crab.
My final day, I rented a bike and rode along the water for
hours. It brought me back to another time. In the suburbs of
Philly, I would get on my big Schwinn and take off for hours, all
but crossing state lines. That was my first taste of independence
and travel. Coming full circle, I felt independent out of the car,
free from my routine.
I had a late lunch back at Magnolia Hotel at Sanuk
Restaurant, where I had the dreamiest buttered chicken pizza
that I'm still craving. I was so happy. Somebody should have
slapped me.
I called Kathy, my now friend from Travel With Taste, and
asked her to meet me at the newly opened Bon Rouge. The
decadently high,end French bistro is black and white with red
accents, so feminine, so French.
It was a trip fit for a queen, decadent, relaxing and truly deli,
cious from start to finish.
Once known
for the
newlyweds
and nearly
dead;it's
now a chill
destination
spotfor
thosewho
wantto kick
back or
kickit up a
notchon the
culinaryfront.
For more information, visit tourismvictoria.com.
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October 2007
I45
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NEW ADVENTURES
houseswapping
Save moneyand see the woridin the comfortof someoneelse'shome.
By Stephanie Schroeder
Timing and flexibility are hallmarks of successful house swapping. When you
are on a limited vacation schedule, date ranges are the most important consideration. However, if you are a lady of leisure, well, then dates (on a calendar at
least) don't really matter. However, for most of us, paid vacation days are few
and far between. And the dream vacation you have in mind may tum out to
be a heavenly trip somewhere you never dreamed you'd end up.
When I first got the brilliant idea to swap my and my girlfriend's Jersey
City apartment, it was because I could afford a plane ticket but I couldn't
front the cost of lodging or eating every meal at a restaurant. My houseswapping experience began when I decided I just had to write in an olive
grove in Tuscany for my birthday. I checked out farmhouses, villas, apartments, hotels and B&Bs. Weekend to weekend in a Tuscany farmhouse is not
that expensive, but including airfare and dining plus shopping and additional
expenses, it proved astronomical.
The dreamvacationyou havein mindmay
turn out to be a heavenlytrip somewhere
you neverdreamedyou'dend up.
.....................................................
......
House swappers can register-for free in some cases-at any of several Web sites, including lesbian- and gay-specific services like Mi Casa Su
Casa's gayhometrade.com and the Lesbian and Gay Hospitality Exchange
International, at lghei.org. But good ol' Craigslist.org is my destination of
choice for pretty much all shopping. I met my girl there, found and furnished
our apartment, and even secured my job through Craigslist.
I cruised the house-swap section and while I thought I wanted to visit
Paris and sent several messages to potential swappers in the city of lights
whose dates matched ours, it was a spare ad with the h~adline "House in
Old Dutch Town'' that caught my eye. "What town?" I queried the listing's
anonymous poster. "Alkmaar, a historic town 20 minutes from Amsterdam:'
And there were photos attached. Wow, really nice.
So began a dialogue between me and Ken, an illustrator about my father's
age. He sent links to his work, I googled him and found that he was a somewhat famous illustrator who had worked for Grove Press in New York in the
'60s. Very impressive. I returned Ken's reply with photos of our apartment
and placed it within the larger scheme of the city. Ken is a native New Yorker,
so he wasn't afraid of being a bit off the beaten track. In fact, I think he wanted
to steer clear of local relatives in Manhattan. After we agreed on the swap,
we exchanged manifestos of our respective households and 'hoods-kind of
like the Wife Swap "Bibles" the women write for each other on the show-to
familiarize and orient each other with our respective destinations.
We took off for Schiphol Airport one early morning in April, made our
way to Alkmaar on a train from the airport, and then walked, dragging our
luggage behind us as we followed Ken's directions to Hofdijkstraat 3. I turned
the key in the funky, blue-green front door, opening the narrow, inviting
46jcune
Dutch rowhouse. Ken's partner, Dawn, had left us tulips and a bottle of wine.
We looked around and made ourselves comfortable, read all the directions
and centered ourselves on the maps Ken had left for us, then set out for a
cappuccino and some Dutch apple pastry.
We hit the bed after scouting out the town, which was indeed a beautiful, quaint and historical seaside town. We made Alkmaar home for 10 days,
shopping at what were basically top-tier bodegas, green markets, cheese markets and butchers. We drank coffee in the back garden and ate out only once
a day, if that, preferring dinners made from fresh local food and produce. We
cooked on a touchy old stove and washed dishes in a granite sink. We put our
waste in a compost pile out back and took showers in a shower room. We
spent an entire day in Amsterdam with a friend, going to head shops, eating
toasties (grilled cheese served every which way) and touring the Red Light
district, which was sad and pathetic rather than erotic and exciting.
Most Dutch speak English quite well, so language was not too much of a
barrier. We found in Alkmaar and Amsterdam to be perfect places for R&R
from my corporate gig and my girlfriend's teaching job. House swapping
allows for the creature comforts of home, a place to retire at the end of the day
that is more inviting than four square walls and a formal, sterile environment.
And you usually get a fully equipped place stocked with kitchen supplies and
appliances, a TV, a CD player, linens and whatever else you can imagine .
The day of our departure, our friend from Amsterdam picked us up and
treated us to a boat tour of the city's canal system. We ate pancakes-which
in Holland are one delicious giant thick doughy pie-then he dropped us at
Schiphol for our return trip home.
We had such a fabulous time in Holland that we decided to swap again
this year around the same time, spring break. Again, I wanted Paris. Well,
really I wanted a spa week in Sedona, Ariz., but that would have been more
expensive than what turned out to be an eight-day jaunt to Dublin.
My girl and I hung out mostly in the trendy, artsy Temple Bar district of
Dublin, doing a lot of shopping and sightseeing, and checking out the queer
clubs. I was particularly interested in walking in the footsteps of
James Joyce and Oscar Wilde. Unfortunately, since we went in April,
many tourist attractions, such as the Irish Writers Museum, the
Joyce Center and most castles in the Irish countryside, were closed.
However, we did see Dublin Castle, the Guinness brewery and the
Irish Museum of Modern Art-which
had an extensive Georgia
O'Keefe exhibition and a joint Calder~Miro retrospective-and took
a day trip to the seaside town of Howth, where local fishmongers
supply smoked salmon to the world.
This year we exchanged with a single woman who lives on the out~
skirts of Dublin in a modest but very modern apartment complex.
One thing we noticed in Ireland, and in Holland, was the emphasis on
conservation and moderation. For example, we never got water with
our meals unless we asked, we received only one napkin at each meal,
and we were served moderate portions of food, enough to fillbut not
overfill us. Symbols on groceries and restaurant menus to designate
whether the food was suitable for vegetarians, vegans, diabetics and
others. We came back much more conscious of how we eat and how
wasteful and careless we are in the U.S.
..........................................................
.
10 HOUSE SWAPPING TIPS
1. Be open. Every exchange is different. All are based
on trust and proper planning. Make good acquaintance
through phone calls and e-mails. If you have swapped
before, you should give, and get, references.
2. Get personal. First, if you are not on a gay-home
exchange site, come out first thing to potential swappers. I always wrote "lesbian couple interested in ... " in
my first e-mail to a possible swap. In Europe particularly,
queerness doesn't rule out a swap with a straight person
or family. And it's better to be open and comfortable
than dishonest and furtive.
3. Try to exchange with people from a similar background. They don't have to be queer, but if they are
single or coupled, or have children or animals, the familiar helps to make for a better swap experience for all.
4. Be honest. You don't want to disappoint or be disappointed. Don't exaggerate your accommodations, just
provide the facts and let parties make their own decisions.
5. Leave your home clean and prepare space in drawers,
closets, bathrooms and other areas. Change the linens
and put out clean towels. And leave enough toilet paper!
6. Notify your landlords and insurance companies {homeowners' or renters' and, if you are swapping vehicles,
your auto insurance company).
7. Leave an extra set of keys with a friend or neighbor.
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8. Arrange for the care of gardens, swimming pools,
animals and other home needs.
9. Leave all appliances in working condition and let your
swap partner know whether you have a landline or if they
should make other arrangements for telephone communications.
...........................................................
1O.Give, and get, a list of all important contact numbers.
u.s.by rail
.....................................................................
Ridingthe railsfrom Chicago
to LosAngeles. By Aefa Mulholland
Coming from a country so small that you can cross from east to west in less
than an hour, I've always been awed by the vast dimensions of America.
You can whisk right across Scotland, from Edinburgh to my hometown of
Glasgow, in just 46 minutes. Over here, if you strike it lucky and connections
line up, a train trip coast-to-coast takes a minimum of 46 hours.
To make up for all the time I'd saved on those speedy Scottish train rides,
I booked up a flotilla of tickets: the Southwest Chief south and then west
from Chicago to Los Angeles; the Coast Starlight north from Los Angeles to
Portland; the Empire Builder east from Portland to Montana, then Seattle,
taking me in a crooked horseshoe from Chicago to Whitefish, Mont.
At Chicago's Union Station, I trotted aboard the Southwest Chief and
a love affair began. I watched, fascinated, from the comfort of the Sightseer
Lounge, as Illinois, Kansas, Colorado and New Mexico went by. The everinformative guide USA by Rail filled in useful facts, such as when we were
passing Princeton, Ill., "the pig capital of the world;' and Colorado's Spanish
Peaks, known by Native Americans as "the breasts of Mother Earth:'
My first cluster of U.S. train trips traced a perhaps unusual route, with
station stops including Albuquerque, N.M., and Whitefish. In Albuquerque,
I marveled at the Rodeo Glowdeo, an illuminated night rodeo of noveltyshape hot air balloons. The first balloon I encountered, looming drunkenly
overhead, was a semi-inflated, 100-foot-highJose Cuervo bottle. Gargantuan
cows, glowing monsters and inflated corporate identities reeled wildly as dusk
crept in from the Sandia Mountains. I also encountered an ex-clown who
told me that he'd left the circus because after a while "youjust get tired of the
elephants:' I guess you would.
While I remember many places I stopped and things I did on that first
trip, the strongest memories I have are of riding the trains. On the Coast
Starlight with my then-girlfriend, we delighted in the scenery over pink zinfandels in the dining car. I was amazed by mile after mile of fields of red,
yellow and green bell peppers that lined the route; by the mountains looming craggy, blanketed with fir and pine trees, as we crossed from Northern
California into Oregon, near Klamath Falls; and by city skylines glittering
into view as we approached Portland and Seattle.
The motley array of people I met stay with me, too. The icy, disapproving
Republican lady who frowned at the two of us as we left L.A:s Union Station
but thawed by the time we made it to San Francisco. The two gay former
Marines who bobbed their heads up from the seats in front to say,"Hi, I'm
Perry;' and 'Tm Perry, too:' Leaving Portland solo on the Empire Builder, I met
recently widowed Marnie from Ohio, on her way back from the Oregon Coast,
where she had just 'chucked that cheating bastard's ashes off a cliff."I left her
celebrating in the bistro car. I'd been back in my seat for hours when the quiet
woman beside me told me that she, too, was taking her partner's ashes to their
final resting place. She stroked the Tupperware container she held tightly on
..
.................................................................
FUN TRAIN TRIPS
1. Coast Starlight from Los Angel~s to Seattle, via San
Francisco and Portland, in 35 hours. National Park Service
guides from the Klondike Gold Rush National Historical Park
are on board for talks and questions between Seattle and
Portland, and Klamath Falls and Eugene.
2. Empire Builder from Chicago to Seattle or Portland (the
line splits at Spokane), via Milwaukee, St. Paul, Fargo and
Whitefish, in 46 hours. Glowing city skylines of Minneapolis
and St. Paul, the North Dakota plains, the spectacular
Gassman Coulee Trestle, Montana's Glacier National Park and
the dramatic Columbia River Gorge all feature on this itinerary.
3. California Zephyr from Chicago to San Francisco, via
Omaha, Denver and Salt Lake City, in 51 hours. One of the
most impressive journeys, the Zephyr passes the Rockies
and the Sierra Nevadas; chugs through Moffat Tunnel, past
Colorado's Gore, Byers and Glenwood Canyons; and glides by
Donner Lake, San Pablo Bay and the Carquinez Strait.
4. Adirondack from New York to Montreal, via Albany, in
10 hours. The Adirondack travels daily from New York City
through the lush wine country of the Hudson Valley, past Lake
Champlain and across the border into Montreal, just in time to
go out for dinner and hit the bars and clubs.
5. Silver Star from Boston to Miami, via New York, Washington
D.C., Philadelphia, Charleston, S.C., and Savannah, Ga., in
36 hours. Taking in the major cities of the East Coast before
coasting through Virginia and the Carolinas, the Silver Star
reaches the lush fringes of Georgia at Savannah.
..................................................................
.................................................................
ADVICE FOR BEGINNERS
1. Get good mileage: Sign up for Amtrak Rewards miles on
amtrakguestrewards.com.
2. Make a deal: Amtrak posts weekly "Hot Deals" on its Web
site, amtrak.com.
3. Rail value: If doing more than a return trip across the
country, or within one region, look into Amtrak's Rail Pa~ses.
Via Rail Canada has similar options (viarail.ca).
4. Make the connection: Routes such as the Coast
Starlight are notoriously tardy. Don't book any tight, nonrail
connections. Connecting trains are usually held if an
incoming train is running behind schedule.
5. A big advance: Ticket prices are cheapest up to one week
in advance, then lurch up dramatically after that.
6. Time and place: Arrive early. Seat allocations are often
done at the station. On coastal trips, such as the Cascades'
and Coast Starlight's, remember to ask for a window seat on
the ocean side.
7. Home comforts: Pack pillow and blankets if traveling in
coach for a long trip .
8. Charge it: Bring the phone charger and laptop as hand
baggage; most trains have sockets by all seats to allow you
to plug in.
9. That's entertainment: Most routes show scheduled movies
on overhead screens throughout the train.
10. Sights and sounds: Longer-distance routes offer sleepers,
a dining car and viewing with floor-to-ceiling windows, often
with talks or commentary from staff, invited speakers or park
rangers. Kids' activities are usually scheduled, too.
her lap and told me heartbreaking tales of her lost love. Icicles hung off the
restored Tudor Revival station building we arrived at in Whitefish at 7 a.m.
the next day. The only other passengers getting off were two dozen black-dad
Hutterites. I felt like I arrived in the last century.
There's something of a faded grandeur about train travel. The names
of the routes sound alluring. Traveling them is like tracing part of history.
Railroads shaped so much of this country. The Southwest Chief, for instance,
traces part of the old Santa Fe Trail. The Empire Builder speeds along a route
once followed by horse-drawn wagons.
As well as it being a commendable, ecofriendly choice, what I love about
traveling by train is its pace. There is something both calming and exciting
about train travel. There is indescribable splendor on a thrilling scale outside
the windows. There is space. There is time to think, to watch movies, to drink
wine, to have romantic dinners, to make good use of sleeper accommodations,
Madonna-style, if you've brought someone appropriate along.
These days, the size of America doesn't surprise me so much. It's my own
homeland that seems to have shrunk down to toy-country size. Some nights
I lie awake and hear the trains whistle, and I get restless. They sound the
promise of all the adventures waiting down the rails across the breadth of this
great, wide land.
October 2007
I49
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NEW ADVENTURES
hit the spa
Get pampered like a princess and leave
feeling as sexy as a post-rehab rockstar.
By Catherine Plato
Though not always the most budget-friendly of choices, a destination spa can
be well worth the cost when it's really time to get away from it all. If you're
attached, a spa weekend with the missus is totally romantic, but feeling all
healthy and fussed over is just as fun when you're single, too. It just so happens that right outside some of the country's best urban locations for girlwatching and hot lesbian nightlife are some of the most relaxing, gay-friendly
luxury spas, for when the city gets to be too much. Got an extra weekend and
a few hundred dollars (or more) to spard Maybe it's time to sit back and do
a little bit of nothing.
CHEECA LODGE, lslamorada, Fla.: Pronounced 'chica;' this idyllic
beachside resort sits right between the two South Florida Meccas of gay nightlife: an hour and a half drive to the north and·you've got Miami's South Beach;
about the same distance south is Key West. If chilling out is more your style,
consider this super peaceful lslamorada locale, where the craziest after-dark
activity you'll find involves wicker furniture, a cool cocktail, stargazing and the
occasional reggae band. And when you're craving excitement, rest assured: The
party's not so far away.
Cheeca serves a mixed clientele, actively markets to the gay community
and is 100 percent child-friendly as well. If you're like me and can't stand
the thought of sitting still for too long, there are plenty of fun things to do
without even leaving the Cheeca property. There are tennis courts and a ninehole golf course, with lessons available for either sport. The lodge loans out
bicycles to its guests, and while it's usually too hot to travel very far, the resort
grounds are covered in beautiful tropical gardens, and funky boutique shopping is nearby, too. The surrounding Atlantic Ocean is still and warm as bathwater, perfect for swimming, kayaking, sailing or some of the country's best
snorkeling; the lodge is a short boat ride from North America's only living,
natural coral ree£ And in the evening, consider taking a su~et cruise. Beside
beautiful views of the sun sinking down over the Gulf of Mexico, we saw a
few dolphins enjoying the last few moments of daylight.
The Cheeca spa offers a wide variety of luxury treatments: massages,
body scrubs, facials, manicures and pedicures. After spending a day under
the scorching South Florida sun, my normally pallid complexion was bright
red and in dire need of some soothing. From their long list of options, I chose
the SO-minute Cheeca signature body scrub, which left my skin feeling soft
and smelling sweet. If you're there with a lady friend or two, try the Couple's
Retreat or the Girls' Getaway Package-both of which happen in a posh
poolside cabana. The spa also offers Tai Chi and yoga classes, either group or
private, and wellness consultations with a fitness expert. (cheeca.com)
STEVENSWOOD SPA RESORT, Little River, Calif.: One of the
country's most luxurious gay-owned spas lies on Northern California's
Mendocino Coast, about a three-and-a-half-hour drive north of San
Francisco. Surrounded by the 2,400-acre Van Damme State Park, the fivestar Stevenswood Resort lies amid meadows, gardens and Redwood trees and
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offers views of the Pacific Ocean. A two-minute drive will bring guests to
the quaint historic town of Mendocino, where art galleries and world-class
cuisine await. Each of Stevenswood's 10 luxury suites offer cozy wood-burning fireplaces, perfect for snuggling up next to your girl at the end of a long
day. In the morning, wander the beautifully landscaped grounds and nearby
Redwood groves or just sink into the Jacuzzi. Some of California's most
esteemed wineries are a short car ride away-and the on-site spa, Indigo, is
perfect for detoxing afterward.
Indigo, for the most part, uses its own private line of skin and body care
products in its treatments. It prides itself on being the world's first Eco-Spa,
and uses organic local botanicals and ecologically sound methods in making
all its products. If you visit with a special someone, try the 75-minute fireside
couple's massage, complete with a pre-treatment soak and chilled champagne.
Other favorite treatments include the olive oil foot soak and the Humboldt
salt scrub. But if I were to choose one treatment off their extensive menu,
I would go with the 90-minute Pacific Sea Detox. At $235, it's definitely a
splurge, but being wrapped head-to-toe in essential oils and then massaged
feels nice enough to be worth it.
Also, don't miss lunch at the spa. Indigo is probably the only spa I can
think of that offers gourmet peanut butter and jelly sandwiches alongside its
herbal tea menu-all organic, of course. Back at the lodge, the restauraunt at
Stevenswood is one of the best restaurants on the Northern California coast,
serving breakfast, dinner and desserts made from the best local ingredients,
with a menu that changes daily. (stevenswood.com)
CROWNEPOINT HISTORICINN AND SPA,Provincetown,Mass.:
Well, of course Provincetown has a gay-friendly spa. Forty luxury rooms span
six fully restored buildings set on a sea captain's historic, 140-year-old Cape
Cod estate. In addition to the acclaimed Shui Spa (open to the public as well
as hotel guests), the Crowne Pointe offers one of the Cape's finest restaurants,
uncreatively named the Bistro at Crowne Pointe. To really woo your woman,
request a room with a whirlpool tub and fireplace.
For a romantic getaway, try booking one of the hotel's special couple's
packages. Their best-selling Rejuvenation and Dining Package gets you and
your lady dinner for two, plus a Swedish massage or Grape Wine Facial. And
starting in November, after the end of their busy summer season, take advantage of the Fall Two Night Cape Escape package: two nights ofluxury accommodations, fine dining and spa treatments for two. If you're traveling solo
and want the ultimate Shui experience, the Feel Like a Goddess treatment
is the way to go. Start with a warm, fizzling, candlelit bubble bath, followed
by a deluxe exfoliating body treatment. For 75 minutes and $165, it's well
worth it.
Like many of the finest destination spas, Crowne Pointe hosts weddings as
well-but unlike some of its competitors, Crowne Pointe can offer its lesbian
guests a legal Massachusetts marriage. Never fear, granola dykes: Chef Amy
Howell offers plenty of vegetarian and even vegan options on the party and
banquet menu. And though you'd expect no less in ultra-gay Provincetown,
the Crowne Pointe Web site specifically welcomes same-sex couples to have
their weddings there. (crownepointe.com)
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TAKE THE SPA HOME
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Let's face it: A whole weekend away at one of the country's
finest, priciest resorts isn't always an option. You can still feel
like a princess (or give the royal treatment to your lady) with
some spa-quality products at home. Here are some of our
favorites.
Juice Beauty Organics to Go: Juice Beauty offers a full
skin care line made of the best organic ingredients. Their
moisturizing cleansing milk uses juice from white grapes,
chamomile and aloe, and is perfect for sensitive or sunburnt
skin. Follow it up with hydrating mist, antioxidant serum, and
apple juice-based oil-free moisturizer. For a once-a-week
treatment that rivals anything you'd find at a spa, use the
Green Apple Peel, formulated especially for sensitive skin.
(juicebeauty.com)
Kama Ayurveda: In Sanskrit, "kama" means desire;
"ayurveda" means life science. Using time-tested
prescriptions, purely natural ingredients and absolutely no
animal testing, Kama relies on ancient beauty formulas in its
products. I loved the Soap Free Body cleanser, a "combination
of herbs, cereals and pulses" that doesn't foam and feels a
little like sand on your face at first, but makes your skin really
smooth. Pregnant ladies should consider investing in the
firming treatment, which promises to tighten and firm your
breasts and abdominal muscles and reduce the appearance of
delivery marks. (kamaayurveda.com)
Medique Beauty Pads: Apply these thin, cloth pads soaked
in botanical oils to the skin just below your eyes. Leave them
on for 40 minutes at a time, a few days a week, and before
long, no one will be able to tell that you spend most of your
waking hours sipping caffeine and staring with bloodshot eyes
at a computer screen. (mediquebeautypads.com)
Arbonne International: Arbonne's been keeping Swiss
women looking hot since 1975. They boast high-end hair and
skin care products, makeup and weight-loss supplements.
Try their NutriMinC line of anti-aging facial products, which
rely on natural ingredients to keep you looking like jail bait.
(arbonne.com) - CP
..................................................................
...
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+
NEW ADVENTURES
vocationvacation
Test driveyourdreamjob. By Aefa Mulholland
You're trundling through the trivialities of the daily grind, dreaming of being a
restaurant reviewer, choreographer or bar owner. As you slog through the traffic,the morning meetings or the lunch rush, you're fantasizing about a more fulfilling life. Staring at tail lights during a long commute, Brian Kurth wondered
what it would be like to be a winemaker, tour guide or dog trainer. After some
research, he realized there was no one offering short-term, dream-job internships for adults; the idea of Vocation Vacations was born.
Fueled by the simple concept that happiness and passion can and should
be a fundamental part of what you do, the dynamic Kurth and his team,
including out lesbian Melissa Townsend, set up internships that allow the
curious to "test drive" their dream jobs, offering gateways into an amazing
array of careers. Fancy trying out life as an alpaca farmer, radio personality
or P.A. to the stars? Or stepping into the shoes of a sommelier, soccer team
manager or museum curator? Those are just a few of hundreds of one- to
three-day potentially life-changing options currently on their books.
It's proving wildly popular. Kurth said that since 2004, the company has
"grown from 10 little vocation vacations, all in Oregon, to almost 300 in 35
states:• Customers pay between $299 and $2,399 for the opportunity to try
a new career.
"Statistics show that the vast majority of people are disgruntled and not
happy in their work. In January 2007, Harris Interactive did a consumer
employment survey. Of 6,000 people surveyed, 84 percent are currently not
in their dream job;' Kurth added.
No wonder so many people have signed up to try out life as a chocolatier,
brewmaster, interior designer, horse trainer, voiceover actor or B&B owner.
Gay couple Paul Holje and George Kelley had been working on their business plan for almost a year when they took their vocation vacation at Portland's
famed Pearl Bakery."We used [the experience] to confirm a lot of things we'd
been thinking about and to warn us off a few other things;' Kelley said.
"We got the experience of being able to work in a commercial bakery.
From the first hour we were up to our elbows in dough. We learned about
commercial bread production, pastry making, cookies, the lunch menu. . ..
They also showed us a lot of the business stuff, from the mundane, how to
do accounting, to suggestions for payroll and dealing with employees. Really,
[the best bit was] the totality of the whole experience; we got to do a little bit
of everything;' Kelley enthused. He and Holje now operate their own bakery,
Dakota Harvest Acres, in Grand Forks, N.D.
Like Kurth, Melissa Townsend understands the need for career change.
"I worked as a chef for nearly 20 years .... I got to work in an area that I
was passionate about for a long time, but the passion sort of died:' She's now
Vocation Vacations' head of mentor relations.
"I think that our mentors like the idea of sharing their passion for their
work with others, the sort of pay-it-forward mentality. I also find that many
of our mentors have been down the career change path themselves. They
really relate to our vocationers who ... want more or who want to make their
dream a reality. They want to share their experience in a'this is what I did, this
is what I would do in hindsight' sort of way:'
An accomplished bass player in a former life, Ariz.-based Tamera Lyndsay
is one such mentor. The girl-band rocker's company, Wilma World, makes shoes
and accessoriesthat have been seen on Sheryl Crow,Joan Jett, Annie Lennox and
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"I think[a vocationvacation]is a greatway to
get a taste of what it mightreallybe like
withouthavingto make a big commitment.
We don't tend to findwho we are and what
we reallywant in lifewithouttakingthat leap."
The L Word cast members, as well as on the pages of Vanity Fair.
"I think [a vocation vacation] is a great way to get a taste of what it might
really be like without having to make a big commitment. We don't tend to
find who we are and what we really want in life without taking that leap. It's
like the difference between staying in the closet and trying to live a whole life
that way, or taking the leap of faith in yourself and casting aside fears of what
other people would say or think in order to come out of that closet and live a
whole and fulfilling life free of fear;' Lyndsay said.
In addition to wanting to help keep the art of traditional shoemaking and
design alive in the U.S., she became a mentor "to encourage people to follow
their bliss and to help them believe that whatever their passion is, there is a
way to follow it and make it profitable:'
For Kurth-who wrote a book (Test Drive Your Dream Job, due out in
January) and signed a TV deal with Al Roker Productions-his leap of faith
brought success. "I get to live vicariously through all these people taking their
dream jobs [and work) with the mentors who are phenomenally passionate;'
he
For more information, visit vocationvacations.com or call 866-888-6329.
destroying? Getting hitched or hooking
up? High art or high camp? Tapas or
tiramisu? Guest list or wine list? Spotlight
or candlelight? Campy or classy? Hot or
mild? Gnocchi or nachos? Are they or
aren't they? Fob or flannel? Committing or
cutting loose? High fashion or low price?
Ballgame or ballroom? In the parade or
in the crowd? High art or high wire?
Chardonnay
or Sauvignon Blanc?
Commitment or carousal? Planned or
unplanned? See or be seen? Chopin
or show tunes? Strict or spontaneous?
Boxers or briefs? Glommed-up or
dressed-down?
Lipstick or leather?
Tasteful or tasteless? Day at the spa or
day in the sun? Steakhouse or sushi
bar? New hat or new heels? Staying
out or staying in? Winter or summer?
Hot or mild? Restful or rip-roaring?
Dress up or dress down? Star-spotting
or stargazing? Beach or bar? Button-up
or button-down? King Street or Queen
Toronto.Unlimited possibilities.
Proud member
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Street? Strip clubs or strip malls? Sashimi
or souvlaki? Tied up or tied down?
East end or west end? He or she?
High-end or low-brow?
Sweet or
sour? Waterpark
or waterfront?
Commitment or carousal? Prude or
tattooed?
Martini
or margarita?
Calm or chaotic? Raw or cooked?
Day or night? Give or take? Uptown or
downtown? Cut or uncut? Rock or jazz?
In or out? Rough or refined? Playing nice
or playing dirty? Together or whatever?
Mall or market? Talk or listen? Sunlight
or moonlight? Downtown or uptown?
Boxers or briefs? High-cut or low-cut?
Hotel or B&B? Love or lust? Beach or
bar? Heels or houswares? Are they
or aren't they? Strict or spontaneous?
Wining or dining? Businessor pleasure?
Head or tail? Primped or pampered?
Bed or bedlam? Shabby or chic? Frame
or canvas? Planned or unplanned?
Skinny or burly? Conversation or
copulation? Dusk or dawn? Friendship
Not far from Toronto,experiencethe
welcomingwine regionsof Niagara and
PrinceEdward County.Start exploring
B&Bs,bike toursand wine tastingsat
www.torontotourism.com/ pride
i:oronto
u n Ii mite d-
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ONT~O
CANADA
··············+
NEW ADVENTURES
alwaysturned on
Welcometo the AC. By Stephanie Schroeder
New Jersey has been a national leader enacting laws that improve the quality of the lives of the state's LGBT community for more than three decades.
Issues surrounding adoption, custody and visitation, hate crimes, bullying and
abuse in schools, and nondiscrimination in employment and housing have been
positively addressed. And recently, statewide legislation protecting transgender
individuals took effect, as did the state's wide-ranging civil union permissions
and protections.
And, New Jersey has Atlantic City. The bright lights of the casinos and
the busy, bustling boardwalk enchant. You can take in a show or put on your
poker face and try your luck at the gambling tables in Atlantic City. Or, you
can take a daytrip along the coast-antiquing at the myriad collectible and
curiosity shops, sip wine at a local winery or sightsee at the many local attractions on the cape.
Atlantic City, or ''AC" as locals refer to it, is only a short bus ride away from
New York City and Philadelphia. A resort town with a rich ttadition of entertainment even before the over-the-top casinos were sttewn about the landscape,
Atlantic City's numerous atttactions and activities give visitors something to get
turned on about no matter what your predilections.
hold your very own ceremony, you can find the State of New Jersey's civil
union application online.
While plenty of folks still head to Atlantic City for the gambling,
the boardwalk and the scene, a lot of people now visit only for the shows.
According to Vince Grimm, executive director of GABLES, which publishes
the Rainbow Directory for New Jersey, you'll now find the areas surrounding Atlantic City-the smaller coastal towns from Cape May all the way to
Asbury Park-offer adventures worth taking.
Here are some suggestions for queer girlsseeking safe and welcoming spaces
in or near Atlantic City.
AtlanticCity
The Surfside Resort Hotel, a resort attracting primarily a gay male clientele, is
still your best bet. You can mix with the brothers, head to the women-oriented
Brass Railfor a burger or dance the night away with the sisters at Studio Six.
New Jersey's tallest lighthouse, third tallest in the nation, stands at the
crossroads of Pacific and Rhode Island Avenues in Atlantic City. Stand above
it all as you climb the 228 steps of the Absecon Lighthouse, one of the oldest lighthouses in the country. There, you will find breathtaking views of the
Atlantic City skyline, and at the tip you'll have the chance to learn some history,
about the Fresnel Lens, first lit in 1857. The executive director of the lighthouse
is an ordained minister and often performs civil unions there.
Lucy the elephant, consttucted in 1881, sits on the beach facing the sea in
Margate. Replete with painted toenails, tusks and a museum tucked inside, this
national historic landmark is only a few miles from Atlantic City and another
choice location for civil union ceremonies. You can also climb onto Lucy's back
to glimpse the panoramic view of the ocean and beaches in surround sound.
DoM11heShore
Hosting more than 35 million visitors annually with 24/7 gaming, headline entertainment and gourmet dining, Atlantic City's 12 opulent gambling
joints are juxtaposed against the dazzling backdrop of the Atlantic Ocean.
However, the casinos aren't the only sport around. The seaside resort of
Atlantic City offers something for everyone, including queer-friendly clubs,
24-hour bars and concerts.
And, Atlantic City offers the possibility of wedded bliss: the New Jersey
civil unions law went into effect February 19, 2007. Civil unions in New
Jersey bestow every benefit of so-called traditional marriage on queer couples
without the moniker of"marriage:• If you are traveling to Atlantic City to
54
I curve
The queer-friendly Albert Stevens Inn was built in 1898 by homeopathic doctor Albert G. Stevens as a wedding giftfor his new wife. A Victorian Queen
Anne Classic home, the Inn has a unique floating staircase that is suspended
from the third floor turret The doctor's original office suite has been split into
two formal dining rooms. Prices range from $100 to $250, depending on the
time of year.
If you're not really into gambling or hungry man-style casino buffets,
there are plenty of alternative atttactions in the area. The Renault Winery is
in nearby Egg Harbor. This vineyard-resort features a unique Antique Glass
Museum housing a priceless collection of champagne and wine glasses dating
back to medieval times. Oh, and wine-tasting opportunities, of course. For
Dinah Shore types, the resort also features the Vineyard Golf at Renault, a
challenging 7,000-yard championship golf course with splendid views of the
vineyards and orchards.
BeforeYouGo
Check out the Atlantic City Convention and Visitors Authority at atlanticcitynj.com and click on the rainbow flag on the left-hand side of the screen for
queer and queer-friendly resources. Visit gablescapemay.com for information
about the queer scene along the coast.
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the babes of poker
Watch out for cardshark-infested
waters. By Jennifer Corday
In a game predominantly played by men, women are storming the poker
scene with plenty to bring to the table. Unlike slots, keno or roulette, poker
requires some serious skill and personality to boot, as opponents compete
against one another for the best hand. Top female poker players have hauled
in huge chunks of change, becoming millionaires overnight and celebrities
in the gambling community. The World Series of Poker is the mother of all
poker events; a seat at the final table is considered a lifetime achievement in
any poker player's career. It all leads up to the World Champion Event, "the
main event;' on July 6-17 at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas. Though a woman
has yet to win the main event, it looks like it could very well happen in
the near future. The kick-ass poker ladies of the past include Annie Duke,
Jennifer Harmon and Kathy Liebert, but the list is continuing to grow.
Actor Shannon Elizabeth (American Pie) is beginning to make a
name for herself in the poker world, while actor Jennifer Tilly (Bound)
has pretty much given up her acting career to pursue poker full rime.
Tilly has won numerous tournaments, including the World Poker Tour
Ladies Invitational, the Ladies No-Limit Texas Hold 'Em event, where
she bested 600 other women, and she appears regularly on shows like
CelerityPokerShowdown,Poker Superstarsand High StakesPoker.
Canadian beauty Evelyn "Evybabee" Ng, aka Evelyn "Champagne"
Ng, almost won the World Poker Tour Ladies Invitational at the Bicycle
Casino in Los Angeles but was beat by the sexy Clonie Gowen. Gowen,
a well-known poker celebrity, has
graced the cover of Maxim magazine and recently challenged Paris
Hilton to a celebrity charity match where she would undoubtedly kick
Ms. Hilton's ass. Don't let this beauty fool you, she's got the brains and
the brawn to beat the boys. "I don't think being a woman hurts me at all;'
explains Gowen, "Most men don't give women credit for playing poker
well, so that hurts them:' Although all-women poker tournaments are
springing up everywhere, some women refuse to play the segregated
events. "Poker is one of the only sports where a woman can compete on
a totally equal footing with a man;' says top-rated poker player Annie
Duke, "so I don't understand why there's a ladies-only tournament:'
True that, but we lesbians prefer the scenery at an all-girl game.
Obviously, the strip poker duel between Helena and Catherine on
Showrime's The L Word was a gamblin' girl's dream, so why not plan
your own all-girl strip poker party? Texas Hold 'Em, Seven Card Stud
and Omaha Hi are some of the more popular poker games, but you can
always make up new rules to keep things interesting.
Four queens beats all? ComeO~tPoker.com is something for you
online poker players to check out. COP caters to the LGBT community
and even has a game called Come Out Hold 'Em, where straights are
eliminated from the hand rankings. Get it, no straights?
.....................................................................................................................................
.
············· +
NEW ADVENTURES
the odds are on my side
Renorollsout the red carpetto fulfillone writer'schampagnewishes
and caviardreams.By Diane Anderson-Minshall
I'm in my luxury suite at the famed El Dorado Hotel in Reno being massaged
by an attractive woman who assures me that even though this is Nevadawill be no "happy ending:' Not that
home of legalized prostitution-there
I need it; there have been women all over me this weekend. In fact, within
hours I'm whisked away by not one but six super sexy queer girls in a limousine for a night of dancing, debauchery and general _queer extravagance.
Anything I want this weekend is at the push of a telephone button, because
I'm in the midst of having my champagne wishes and caviar dreams fulfilled.
For one weekend, I'm being treated like a highroller and I can tell you already,
there ain't no going back from a life like this.
I got here, like Robin Leach, on my own private jet. OK, well, it was the El
Dorado's private jet-the plush 20-minute flight from San Francisco to Reno
started with me sipping espresso and bypassing airport check in lines.
The largest number of regular visitors to Reno comes from the San
Francisco Bay Area, which has a fascinating and determinedly queer impact
on the city. Instead of being the desert wasteland of Desert Hearts lore, Reno
was chockablock with dyke travelers. And though there is a lot less glitz and
glitter than Vegas, there's a surprisingly diverse but wonderfully bucolic small
town vibe to Reno.
PamperMe Mine
Entering my suite in the Skyline Tower of the El Dorado Hotel was a little
like dying and going to heaven. The fact that I managed to leave it at all would
be a miracle. Our multi-room 600-square-foot suite, reserved for high roll-
56
I curve
ers and other VIPs is popular with hot
Hollywood celebs. My friend and I get
the rock star treatment ourselves. The
bar is decked out with a full assortment
of our favorite drinks, as well as enough
food to feed 10 people (like chocolate
covered strawberries and vegan brownies). The bedrooms each have giant gifr
baskets from local dyke-owned boutique La Bussola (all the swag is nestled
in vintage record albums that have been
melted and shaped into funky decorative bowls). There's so much swag in
our suite that I have to buy two new
suitcases to take it all home.
Our hotel suite is, well, sweet with
a large wet bar, a full dining room, two
private bedroom/bathroom suites, each
of which is decked out with a huge inroom Jacuzzi tub that overlooks the
Reno skyline, a walk in Euro steam
room/ shower combo that can seat
three comfortably, makeup vanity and
bidet, five TVs, a VCR/DVD, a guest
bathroom, Internet access and 24-hour room service among other luxuries.
Meanwhile, I'm assigned a "Gold Girl," a helpful lady concierge/butler/personal assistant who is in charge of making sure I get what I need. She comes
in handy one night when I tear my jeans in the limo coming back from a strip
dub; within an hour they're sewn, pressed and delivered to my door ready to
wear. Even things you normally have to do for yourself at other hotels, like
dosing the curtains, are done electronically for you here. I never wanted to
leave my room-or at least not the hotel and casino.
Fortunately, with the El Dorado, you never have to. With 10 restaurants,
an 81,000-square-foot casino with over 1,800 slots and 90 table games, three
keno lounges, a 12,400-square-foot convention center, and a 580-seat theater-style showroom featuring Broadway-style entertainment, the El Dorado
feels like a city within itsel£ It's also attached via skyways to two neighbor
properties-Circus
Circus and Silver Legacy-and dozens of restaurants
and shops, so visitors literally never have to leave the building. Even better, if
you're traveling with kiddies you can drop them off at Circus Circus and go
have a few cocktails and some adult time guilt free.
I was not so encumbered, though, so throughout the weekend I wandered
in and out of restaurants, bars, and boutiques, on to slot floors and in gaming
rooms in an endless maze that could have taken my full attention had I let it.
Alas, within moments of my arrival at the El Dorado Hotel, I am whisked
back down to another booze-stocked stretch limo for a ride to the hot queerowned A Salon 7. Inside the small, mural-adorned building, I'm pure putty
in the hands of some of the funkiest girls east of San Francisco. Most of
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the girls are tattooed or pierced with Technicolor hair, including founder and co-owner Jenny Oxier (akaJenny 0), a mini
celebrity among the town's young MySpace generation and local
trans groups (giving trans women beauty tips is a pet cause).
Oxier opened Salon 7 three years ago because, she admits, "I
couldn't find a salon I was comfortable in because I am gay. I
was told at a salon I worked in not to tell anyone I was gay, so I
didn't have a choice:'
What started as an operation with five stylists is now a super
hot, 2,300-square-foot day spa and salon with 18 employees.
Tonya Marini, a scion of the city's famous Marini family (her
grandparents own the El Dorado Hotel), joined Jenny O later
in the venture.
Today Marini is sporting a camouflage mini skirt and punky
jet-black hair in a faux hawk. One of the sexiest woman in all of
Nevada, I'm sure everyone at the salon wants to just bump up
against her and Jenny 0, another sexy dame, who is all freckles
and sass, and a self-described super gay chick who sprinkles her
speech with phrases like "that's fucking hot" and "awesome:'
By the end of the afternoon, I am sporting a "fucking hot"
Joan Jett-like pink, copper and black 'do. And I'm drunk because
there's booze everywhere. The girls at Salon 7 made sure I had a
fullglass (beer, wine, whisky-it's all the same here) from beginning to end. It's a surprise that I could even see in the mirror by
the time I staggered back to the limo. But that's not enough so
Jenny, Rachel, Tania, Brook, Amber, Renee and Meredith take
me out to enjoy queer Reno. My gaggle of gay girls (well, lesbian, bisexual and flamboyantly bi-curious girls) from Salon 7
manage to hit the piano bar at Roxy's, the friendly mixed-queer
dance bar the Five Star Saloon (awesome'80s club hits) and the
gay gift shop the G Spot. When our limo driver mentioned the
boutique, Meredith Tanzer, owner of La Bussola, snapped back
campily: "Oh honey, lesbians can always find the G Spot:'
.
We wind up at a strip club, Fantasy Girls, the only club in
Reno that allows girls in without men, where I spend the rest of
the evening chatting with Shyanne, an attractive queer dancer
with a slightly gothic, tattooed Bettie Page look.
After another couple of hours and another six drinks, one
girl was literally under the table (we had the limo driver take
her home) and Jenny O had spent her rent money on dancers,
so we decided to move on. I had been drinking since morning at
that point, free and flowing cocktails, so I begged to go back to
my suite and crawl in to bed that night. I woke up several hours
LOG ON
BEFORE YOU GO
Eldorado Hotel
and Casino
eldoradoreno.com
Harrah's
harrahs.com
Circus Circus
circusreno.com
later in my still warm Jacuzzi tub.
Five Star Saloon
5starsaloon.net
I Go a Gambling
Reflections
reflectionsreno.com
The next day I gotta gamble, but novice that I am, I want to talk
with more high rollers. I learn first hand that high rollers and
VIPs have certain luxuries that go beyond limos and whirlpool
baths. For one, the Gold Room is open to answer your every
whim. Whenever I needed anything, from a piece of rare fruit
to a hard-to-find-in-the-desert bath product, the Gold Room
had it in my hands within minutes. Whenever I wanted a break
from the casino floor I could dash in to the Gold Room where
free cocktails were always flowing and my handler seemed to
have the pulse of Reno at her fingertips.
At the tables, high rollers have their needs ~et fully. The
restaurants, bars and club rooms are all stocked with whatever
drinks we like. My demands may have sounded absurd-Miss
Vickie's Lime and Black Pepper chips, Tejava, FIJI water, and
vegan brownies as well as bath products and celebrity magazines
in every room-compared to the PuffDaddys of the world, but
damn it they made my visit all the sweeter.
Another high roller tip: You get your own table without asking. Hate to play blackjack with the hoi polloi? Think onlookers
The Patio
thepatiobar.com
Tronix
tronixreno.com
Salon 7
salon7.net
A Rainbow Place
arainbowplace.org
Reno Gay
Visitor's Info
visitrenotahoe.com
La Bussola
& Center Gallery
2by2creations.com/
labussola
Reno-Sparks
Convention and
Visitors Authority
RenolakeTahoe.com
The Odds Are on My Side continued on page 76
....................................................................................................................................
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Mr.BentoStalnlessSteel LuncbJar
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Perhaps you have a special
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case, Mr. Bento's got you covered. This
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Especially handy for commuting to work.
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all done in the shower, use the DHC
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moisturize harder to reach places. The
DHC Washing Power also comes in handy
through airport security-they haven't
banned powder yet and no liquids spilling
all over your luggage. Great for quick
washes and small enough for a carry-on.
(sponge/le.com, dhccare.com)
PowderedIcedGreenTea(StashTea):First
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instant iced tea! Stash Tea introduces
a just-add-water green tea in small
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plane, train or car trips, easy to
carry in purses and bags, get
your tea fix on the go. (Stashtea.
com) - Katie Peoples
October 2007
I57
• • • • • • • • • • • • • >}-
NEW ADVENTURES
what happens here
Two days,threeshows,many,manystrippers.Vegasis
my kindof town. By Diane Anderson-Minshall
Forget showgirls, how to play craps and that cutethe-first-time-but-tiresome-the-bazillionth-timeyou-hear-it slogan about what stays in Vegas.
Here's what you will really need to know about
Las Vegas, the extravagance capital of Nevada.
Nobody here can give directions. I'm not even
sure they know themselves how to get around
since they offer directions, much like my grandmother in rural Idaho used to, such as, "It's right
around the block by that new building behind the
old Aladdin:' (Uh, hello? Not from around here.)
A few notes are important. If someone in Vegas
says that something is just next door, it's a mile
long walk. If they say it's around the block, they
mean it's practically another county, often down
an impossibly convoluted pathway with u-turns
and fountains, described by esoteric, seemingly
made-to-confuse euphemisms that will make
sense to your concierge (like "tum right at the bird
of paradise and under the rainforest, but when the
sky has lightening, take a left and it's right there"),
but not to you. Especially when you're drunk.
And it's Vegas, so unless you're in AA you'll be
58
I curve
drunk. Often. (Oh, and unless you're from Vegas
or say Miami Beach, your clothes will seem wholly
impractical here.)
Tonight I'm sitting in GirlBar Las Vegas surrounded by incredibly beautiful lesbians while a
petite, tanned, 60-year-old broad next to me is grin~g wickedly and stuffing dollars in G-strings of
the queer go-go girls. This is not Kansas, to be sure.
GirlBar is a weekly lesbian night (from those
LA gals who've turned the lesbian dance party
into a global brand) held at Krave, Las Vegas' only
queer nightclub on the strip. Nestled alongside
Lucky Cheng's (the only drag five-star dinner cabaret in Vegas), Krave is where folks around here
get the party started and on any given night it's
crawling with tourists and local queers ready to
put their thing down. Hence, the go-go girls and
the big tipper.
That tipping cougar is the venerable Babs
Daitch of Thanks Babs The Day Tripper, and it
would turn out that on this trip to Vegas I'd be
spending a whole lot of time with her. Daitch, an
out dyke and former San Francisco resident, is a
lot like a personal tour guide for the LGBT community. Daitch and John Forseth, the cute, gay vice
president of Las Vegas and More, a full-service,
destination management company that'll get you
anywhere or anything you want, orchestrate allinclusive personal and group "beyond the neon"
tours, like whitewater rafting expeditions on the
Colorado River, ATV or mountain bike adventures through the Valley of Fire and Red Rock
Canyon Pink Jeep Tours. I'm, well, not as adventurous as some gals, especially in 100-degree heat
(yes, it's a dry heat), so I opted for a drive through
historic Boulder City, a steamboat cruise on Lake
Mead and the all-American tour of Hoover Dam.
Armed with a giant cooler of drinks (including water) we hit the desert for an afternoon of
fun, exploring the Hoover's cavernous turbines,
sitting on the Desert Princess paddle wheeler taking snapshots, eating ice cream cones to cool off on
the hot summer day. Though we were a car full of
queers, the expedition felt delightfully kitschy and
retro, like a summer family vacation minus the
wood-paneled station wagon. By the end of the
day we weren't ready to part but I had to finally
enjoy my hotel and hit a show.
Walking into the Paris Hotel is a lot like walking in to Fantasyland at Disneyland. In fact, while
outdoor Vegas is hot, dusky, and neon, much of
indoor Vegas feels like an adult Disneyland-in a
good way. Climate controlled, crafted like a wonderland of French landmarks and street signs, and
teaming with people thrilled to be there, Paris was
no different. I wandered around for a couple of
hours along the cobblestone walkways and took
the 350-feet per minute glass elevator ride to the
top of the Eiffel Tower, a real replica that's 460 feet
high, about half the size of the original in France.
Lesbian couples go to Vegas to get married on
the Tower's observation deck, and no wonder;
at 40 stories high, it towers above Vegas with an
extraordinary view of Southern Nevada. And
you don't have to bring a wedding photographer
either, because like Disneyland there was a photographer ready to snap every place we went (even
the shows!).
I met a new friend at Le Burger Brassiere, a
gourmet French bistro that makes burgers from
hundreds of different ingredients like lamb and
salmon. I had a chicken burger with goat cheese
and a giant espresso shake, all served to me by, you
guessed it, a sexy girl in white vinyl go-go pants and boots. The
high rollers even have a lucky burger at Le Brassiere: a Kobe
beef and lobster hamburger that costs a whopping $777 (it does
come with a bottle of Dom Perignon).
After indulging, I'm headed to Paris' Spa by Mandara for a
signature hot stone massage that was so luscious I forgot what
planet I was on for a moment, much less which city. While not
quite as impressive as the Spa at Mandalay Bay, Mandara was
queer-friendly and erotically diverse combo of burlesque, cabaret, comedy and Cirque du Soliel-style acrobatics, at the New
York New York Hotel and Casino.
The next day I made it to brunch at the Bellagio where I
stared in wonderment at the whimsical gardens so long I forgot
all about the lengthy lines. If you want to see the other hotels
in town, an easy way to do so is to hit a Cirque show each night
of the week. Cirque du Soleil offers Beatles Love at the Mirage,
Zumanity at New York, New York, Mystere at
Treasure Island, 0 at Bellagio and Ka at the MGM
TonightI'm sittingin GirlBarLasVegassurrounded Grand, which means you can tour almost all of the
city's top hotels without booking a room.
by incrediblybeautifullesbianswhilea petite,
But, these ventures outside Paris did nothing to
dissuade
me from feeling like I was right at home
tanned,60-year-oldbroadnextto me is grinning
inside the luxurious resort hotel and casino that has
wickedlyand stuffingdollarsin G-stringsof the
one of the most aggressively gay-friendly policies in
queergo-go girls.Thisis not Kansas,to be sure. the city. Paris Las Vegas was already popular with
queers, but instead of resting on their laurels they
decided to market directly to us with dyke-centric
sumptuous, with soaking tubs and steam rooms and luxe sepaad campaigns, offemg a LG BT-specific site ( the only hotel on
rate women's areas. I'm weak in the knees by the time I hit my
the strip to do so), sponsorships of gay events like Gay Days and
suite for a lounge but by then I only have time for a quick bite
Nights and participation in gay Pride. While the uninhibited
because I'm off to the theater. It took me, oh, maybe five minnature of Vegas might draw the men, it's the romance of Paris
utes to get to the theater to see the Vegas production of The that brings the women. If a European destination is out of the
Producers,which explains why dinner and a show in Vegas is so budget, Paris Las Vegas offers up quant French bistros (Mon
popular. The next night I managed to fit two shows in: Jubilee!, Ami Gabi), Impressionist art and European opulence that make
Paris seem more romantic, safer and, yes, a bit sexier for lesbians
Baily's classic, 25-year-old showgirl hit (and yes, I saw more
than the other hotel resorts in town. But, don't think they'll be
boobies than I have at the last three dyke marches combined)
able to tell you how to get there either.
and the Cirque du Soliel naughty cabaret Zumanity, a super
····························································~
LOGON
BEFOREYOU GO
Paris Las Vegas
GayParislasVegas.com
Cirque du Soleil
Cirquedusoleil.com
Gay Days and Nights
gaydaysandnights.com
GirlBar
Gir1Bar.com
Harrahs
Harrahs.com
Las Vegas Vistor Info
VisitlasVegas.com
LuckyCheng's
702-836-0836
QVegasMagazine
QVEGAS.com
Thanks Babs Tours
Thanksbabs.com
October 2007
I 59
milwaukee'sbest,
hiddenin plainview
You don't havet~ likebeer to enjoythis Midwesterncharmer.
By Kelsy Chauvin .
60
I curve
This is not about dispelling the stereotype of Milwaukee as
frostbitten, Laverne & Shirley beer town/ cheese land. It is about
exploring real Milwaukee, a Midwestern charmer that's so regularly overshadowed it creates its own sunshine. The stereotype
will probably melt away on its own.
The first time I visited Milwaukee was last June, for its
three-day Pridefest. That right there was a surprise. Gay Pride
celebrated for a long weekend in a heartland city? Though I tried
to resist typecasting, my expectations began low, with visions of
ill-fitting jean shorts and foamy keg cups spread across a dinky
parking lot turned craft show.
Instead, I crossed the threshold of 75-acre Maier Festival
Grounds to find a mini-utopia. A half-dozen stages of live
music, from country and rock to folk and punk. Twenty-plus
food stands offer Milwaukee's best-known restaurants and
trademark fare. Thousands of queers from around the world,
chatty and giddy to be in this beautiful park on the shore of
Lake Michigan kicking off the summer.
It was a fabulous sampling of the city that was equal parts
fun and enlightening. Not often do you get a concentrated
immersion into local culture-both in general and in this case
gay specific-that represents the rest of the city so well. But
the atmosphere of Pridefest is bona fide Milwaukeean, in all its
generous, playful, proud glory.
Home to more than a half-million people, Milwaukee incorporated in 1846 and became a commercial Mecca thanks to its
spot on the western edge of Lake Michigan, with the Milwaukee
River flowing through its center.
It's those waterways that still help make the place appeal
to new residents and visitors. The three-mile, inordinately tidy
Riverwalk lines the great river as it winds through downtown
and beyond. Crafty local entrepreneurs capitalized on the resulting foot traffic by opening plenty of restaurants and bars along
the way, most with outdoor patios for people and boat watching.
Every weekend, Riverwalk Boat Tours and Rentals offers a tour
of the local micro-breweries parked at the river's edge.
The lakefront is a lovely destination, perfect for the active set.
More than six miles of biking, blading and walking trails line the
shore, passing the city's swimming and volleyball beaches, luscious parks, sports fields and public pools. There's also Juneau
Park, where you can rent a paddleboat or hydro-bike on the
lagoon. The Lakefront Trail doubles as a cross-country skiing
route in the winter.
And there's a lot more going on at the lakefront, the pinnacle
being the landmark Milwaukee Art Museum. The museum
itself has been around since 1957 and offers a solid collection
of contemporary art, including one of the country's largest by
Wisconsin native Georgia O'Keefe.
But the museum was really put on the map in May 2001.
That's when Spanish architect Santiago Calatrava's Quadracci
Pavilion opened. For $10 million, the pavilion extended southward the drab, boxy main building, adding more than 147,000
square feet and, more importantly, the Burke Brise Soleil. The
soleil. is the wing-like sun screen that opens daily with the
museum (weather permitting) and "flaps" daily at noon. The
wings are wider than a Boeing 747, and their 2,100 tons of steel
float weightlessly like a wonder of the world.
The pavilion's exterior is amazing in and of itself. The experience of standing inside the structure, atop the radiant marble
floor, absorbing the dappled natural light while suspended over
the lake's edge, is borderline mystical. And remember your camera: The place is a photography funhouse.
The art museum's extension is testament to the foresight
of Milwaukee's leaders. The architecture is, of course, astoundingly beautiful. But when the project began in 1994, Calatrava
was not the widely renowned architect he is now, and daring
urban architecture was neither as glamorous nor prevalent
as it is today. Back then, Calatrava had not yet built anything
in the United States, much less such an ambitious, moveable
structure like the Brise Soleil. But for this bold structure, local
checkbooks were brandished, and the city earned its place on
the international stage.
Many other architectural gems flavor the "Cream City;' so
nicknamed for the beige tint of its native-day bricks. Stunning
historic structures-evidence of Milwaukee's economic booms
and worldly residents, including the Italianate Chamber of
Commerce and Flemish Renaissance City Hall-date
back
more than 100 years.
More recent history has made the city home to a bevy of
peculiarities. Among them are the Holler House in south
Milwaukee, where downstairs you'll find two lanes that earn
the title of oldest certified bowling alley. If the fact that all the
beers run around $2.50 a bottle doesn't say old fashioned to
you, maybe the "pin boy" working behind the lanes will. Also
note the brassieres hanging from the rafrers. Nobody said they
don't get wild in Milwaukee.
Head downtown to save yourself at the Safe House.
Designed as a faux-secret haven for special agents, the Safe
SIP SOME
HISTORY
Milwaukee was
born in 1846,
with its founders
adapting the
Algonquian Indians'
name Millioki, or
"gathering place
by the waters." It
wasn't long after
that the city earned
its nickname "Brew
City." After all, Pabst
Brewing Company
poured its first beer
that same year, as
did Miller and Schlitz
just nine years later.
All three are around
today, though only
Miller stayed put
and now operates
the oldest stillfunctioning brewery
in the country.
October 2007
I61
··•··•·······+
NEW ADVENTURES
THE WORLD
COMES TO
MILWAUKEE
The Maier Festival
Grounds is home
turf for the "City
of Festivals,"
yet another
nickname earned
by Milwaukee
for its slew of
ethnic summer
celebrations.
Pridefest starts
it off early every
June, followed by
Polish Fest, Festa
ltaliana, African
World Festival,
Mexican Fiesta
and more. But the
biggest is the 11-day
Summerfest, which
draws a million
people each year to
hear artists on 10
different stages. It
holds the Guinness
World Record as
the world's largest
music festival.
62
I curve
House may be gimmicky, but it's so bizarrely fun there's no wonder it's a Milwaukee mainstay. You'll find it by the "International
Exports Ltd.;' plaque on its alley entrance, but it'll take either
the password or a secret test to enter. Once you're in, you can
ings can find their fun in the neighborhood known as Walker's
Point, which should cap off any girl's trip to Milwaukee. True,
there are other friendly bars and lesbian-themed nights at a
handful of clubs around town, as you'll see in the local indie
see a magic show, play blackjack, glimpse a piece of the Berlin
paper Shepherd Express. But this is the neighborhood joint
where you can play pool and chat up the locals. And it probably
Wall (no kidding) or just wander through the maze of rooms,
both secret and not. It'll cost you a quarter to escape through
won't surprise anyone to learn that the Miller (which is vegan!)
comes cheap.
the secret exit, though.
It's tough to see much wrong with Milwaukee, really, except
In a city built largely by German, Polish and Italian immigrants, you don't have to wander far to try a Usinger's sausage. maybe the same complaint that plagues many American cities: the car culture. With most everyone stuck on four wheels,
But you do have to head up to Brady Street, a thriving little lowthe sidewalks are woefully empty. Yet the city has many bike
key strip, to eat a saucy, meatball Italian Bomber at Glorioso's
deli. Maybe buy some antacids while you're there.
lanes, reasonable taxi rates and surprisingly regular buses whose
Brady Street also has nice shopping, be it boutique or vinroutes nicely link the aforementioned neighborhoods. Many of
tage. Stop by Annie's for classic clothes crammed from wall to
the central sights are walking distance from each other, espewall, or walk over to YellowJacket for the exact opposite in mercially via the Riverwalk.
chandising. This place could well be the tidiest, most organized
Upon leaving Milwaukee, I realized the problem with any
second-hand clothing shop in the world.
city of substance: I ran out of time there just as I was finding out
If shopping and strolling are your bag, don't miss the Third more good stuff to do.
Ward, aka Milwaukee's version of SoHo,
replete with warehouses turned condos. You
can duck into A Woman's Touch for something
REVVING FOR THE FUTURE
sexy to play with, wander into some of the city's
art galleries or peruse the local designers' wares.
Ever since its first motorcycle
Drop by the immaculate Milwaukee Public
rolled out of the original Milwaukee
Market at the Third Ward's north end for
factory in 1903, Harley-Davidson
freshly shucked oysters or a sampling of local
has been the elite bike maker of the
world. So it's only fitting that the
Wisconsin cheeses. But don't miss the aged
company will open its one and only
cheddar from the Wisconsin Cheese Mart, over
museum there in mid-2008.
on "Old World" Third Street.
Vegans and others untempted by meat offer-
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buffaloor ohio?
This lesbian rocker takes readers inside her crazy life on the road.
By Jennifer Corday
It all sounds so glamorous doesn't it? The rock and roll tour
bus, the post parties, the screaming girls? Truth is there is no
tour bus ... There are, however, after,hour parties and several
screaming girls and some occasional free drinks. Welcome to
my wonderful world on the road as a musician. I just released a
new record called Superhero, so I hit the road to spread the word
and promote sales, taking my routine from my normal Southern
California haunts to gigs in New York, Minnesota, Kentucky,
and Ohio. (I can't wait for my next trip to the Northwest.)
After what seemed like three days of flying across the U.S.,
I landed in Buffalo, New York and was greeted by Buffalo Pride
board members Michele and Nancy who recognized me right
off the plane, which is always a bit unnerving when I don't know
who I'm looking for ... We chatted it up while waiting for lug,
gage and I learned that Michele has a secret S & M leather
fetish. Nancy blushed and then ran into a co,worker and had to
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...,
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pretend to be straight.
I travel with my partner Jamie, a professional artist and
photographer for CURVE, who is also a model (starring in the
latest Sprint commercial) so she's always turning heads. We
were delivered via Mercedes to a nice hotel and had just enough
energy for a couple ofLabatt's at the hotel lobby bar. Hotel bar,
tenders are great sources of information, and she even poured
us a couple on the house! The next day I performed at the Dyke
March, under a white tent at a park across from Ani DiFranco's
house. It was packed with ladies and I had the crowd going for
a couple of hours before calling it a night. I did a meet and greet
with fans, and signed many CDs and a few breasts-always
fun-before packing it up and heading to one of the two les,
bian bars for some post,party fun! We decided to start with Ms.
Kitty's, and had the pleasure of meeting the owner who bought
our first round. I found a joint on the bathroom floor (I gave it
away) and then discovered the patio-supposedly
the largest
one in Allentown, a beautiful raised deck and large grassy area
with a swing. We had a few tiny Rolling Rock beers and then
caught the drag show, which you don't want to miss if you're in
town (rnskittysbuffalo.com).Just to check out the competition,
we walked the two blocks to Roxy's (roxygirlsrock.com), which
was packed. The owner there was super sweet also and bought
us another round. The DJ announced my arrival and I felt like
a star ... until I had to wait in line at the bathroom. Roxy's had
hot bartenders, and great music and drinks, as well as an out,
door patio in the front. We stayed until closing time, walked a
few blocks to a 24,hour diner and then cabbed it back to the
hotel. The next day was parade day so Buffalo was abuzz with
excitement as the crowd gathered in the streets. We watched
the tail end of the parade from backstage and then I kicked it
in my tent in preparation to perform. I gave the drag queens in
the next tent my hairspray and watched them from backstage
before it was my turn to perform. I kicked off my shoes and
rocked out barefoot, singing my little heart out, and then got
off stage just in time before the rain came pouring down. What
timing! Our last day in Buffalo was great thanks to our tour
guides, Michelle and Nancy, who drove us to Ani DiFranco's
new headquarters, Righteous Babe Records. It was a beauti,
ful building, an old church she bought and renovated, and we
lucked out by getting the royal treatment with a tour from Scott
Fisher. After bonding with the babes, we had an hour to see
Niagara Falls, which is truly amazing in person.
My next stop was Cincinnati, Ohio and with no time to waste
I drove straight from the airport to my first gig, at Bullfishes,
Buffitlo or Ohio? continued on page 77
October 2007
I63
Reviews Sapphic Screen
I Want My Queer TV
I
Tune into Logo's lineup and the Brits' take on Buffy. By Candace Moore
Maude:TheComplete
(Sony
FirstSeason
Pictures
Home
Entertainment):
And
thenthere'sMaude...
Beforeshewasone
oflV's GoldenGirls,
BeaArthurwasthe
brash,bossy,baritone
powerhouse
Maude
Findleyin this'70s
spin-offof CBS'sAll in
theFamily.
A matriarch
in polyester
vestswho
ruledbehindherbrandy
glassandpointed
finger,Maudeservedas
creatorNormanLear's
anti-Archie
Bunker.
Shewasflagrantly
liberal,anoutspoken
feministwhoheldher Available online for download, through cable broadcast or On
hubby,Walter,under
Demand, these three shows prove the queer revolution has not
herthumb.Maudewas
only begun to be televised, it's got a sense of humor.
oneof a groupof early
sitcomsto introduce
homosexual
topicsand The Big Gay Sketch Show (Logo)
characters
in episodes Clutching a glass of wine, a butch (Julie Goldman of Mom
suchas"Maude'sNew and The D Word) gets comfy and calls an erotic phone service.
Friend"(1974) and"The The sex worker on the line rasps seductively about what she's
GayBar"(1977).While going to do ... politically. Every righteous act and vegan potseasonone'sepisodes luck described sends the caller's groin lustfully more a-wriggle.
tackLGBTQ
content, Executive produced by Rosie O'Donnell and directed by lesbian
theyintroduce
anedgy Amanda Bearse (Married with Children), The Big Gay Sketch
American
classic,full of
Show wins laughs through sassy, absurd exaggerations of popsocialrelevancy
for its
culture stereotypes, tropes and 15-minute stars. Nothing and no
time.Theunconventional characters
in Maude one-straight or queer-is exempt. Through parody, the show
arealwayslearning offers a canny retaliation against the unfunny gayjokes told since
fromeachother,if only time immemorial, as Logo's president Brian Graden explained to
afterairingscreaming The New York Times,"you repossess the platform. We know our
matches.
Butwhile culture better than anyone. We're going to be the joke-tellers this
its characters
often time." Additionally one signature skit each episode ribs television
realistically
losetheir past for missing, muted, or misguided representations of homos.
tops,theshownever We see what queer Honeymoonersor a heterophobic Archie from
quitelosesits senseof All in the Familywould look like, we even revisit The Factsof Life
humor.(sonypictures.
as they might better have been taught. Renewed for a second seacomlhomevideo)
- CM
64
Icurve
son starting early in 2008, the ensemble cast will add an element
of interactivity, allowing audiences to make online suggestions
for sketch material. (logoonline.com)
Hex (BBC America)
This British Buffy knock-off shifrs mythologies slightly. Rather
than a teen slayer policing a suburban Hellmouth, Ella Dee
(Laura Pyper), whose puffy-shouldered leather trench cries
"outdated;' is a 400-year-old savior sworn to foil fallen angels
and their poster boy, Malachi (Joseph Beattie). Thing is, Ella's
trapped in a 17-year-old body and her nemesis materializes as
a sizzling footballer who just transferred to her school. Always
watching on is lesbian ghost Thelma (Jemima Rooper), who
gives Ella advice generally more sound than that of the arch angel who acts as occasional cab driver. Within Hex's world, girl
ghosts (instead of witches) tend to be gay, perhaps a play on
lesbian (in)visibility? Thelma's the ears and eyes of Medenham
Hall-especially
of the ladies' washroom-until
she's distracted by a lady love, the new raven-haired ghost on the block
who joins her in eternity to lick cake and kiss fireside. But wait,
what's that tattoo on her girlfriend's neck? Might it be a malevolent mark? Square-jawed and asymmetrically shorn Thelma
struggles with either doing what's right or having her heart's desire. The characters in this show are addictively handsome, but
the eternal, Catholic guilt pitch of the plot is a little much for
the mediocre writing to handle. The expressly Euro-goth atmo-
U)'
Q.
...J
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i5
z
ICl)
z
:c
0
--,
sphere and lovable queer specters still make this show worth a
peek, if you're a fan of fantasy. (bbcamerica.com)
Curl Girls (Logo)
Watch six Southern Californian lesbians of various maturity
levels ride the crests of dyke drama as they develop a surf
competition, ostensibly to provide their show with a pur,
pose. While the reality show's early episodes impose narrative
through personal interviews and relationship back stories, the
show hits its stride when it plain revels in itself as spectator
sport. With Curl Girls, time spent having cat fights and lov,
ers' spats, picking up chicks and showing skin at the hotel hot
tub or West Hollywood gay bar trumps time spent in wet
suits paddling for a wave. That's not to say that Logo's surf
show is devoid of surfing or surfers-save for two beginners,
these women are aggressive competitors in the water-and
their individual strengths on the board are showcased, if only
between cocktail party sequences. And Gingi, new to the sport
and to the girl group, quickly proves her mettle. The fascinat,
ing personalities of the show are not the camera hogs drum,
ming up its gleefully trashy pleasures, but the chill characters,
who hang back and occasionally hold their tongues (unless,
of course, a talking,to becomes overdue). Go figure that the
ladies with some impulse control end up the most in tune with
the waves. (logoonline.com)
Cathy DeBuono
I
ACTOR
I
Sexy actor Cathy DeBuono plays the hot dyke that two sisters end up fighting over in
Out at the Wedding. Perhaps a bit of typecasting? We asked the real,life lesbian about
playing Risa, the Jewish lesbian artist, electrician and double love interest in the film.
- Sheela Lambert
How did you hear about the audition?
Lee Friedlander [the director] and I had met about four years prior when she cast me
in a little indie project. She told me she pictured me in the role of Risa the whole
time she studied the script (by Paula Goldberg]. Whose interest wouldn't be peaked
after that?
What attracted you to the role?
I read the script and it literally made me laugh out loud. I loved so many things about
it: it's gay, yet it's universal, it's silly, yet it's romantic. It's sort of humanly holistic, in
that it's a comedy about family and falling in love that includes religion, ethnicity
and sexuality as things that can and do complicate our relationships. Besides, as an
actor I had yet to have the opportunity to play a role where I dance with the beauti,
ful girl and win her heart in the end, my inner seven,year,old was doing cartwheels,
I swear to God.
One of my favorite parts of the film is when they say "Where are we going to
get a lesbian? It's not like a lesbian's just gonna fall from the sky!" And then
you fall off a tall ladder right at their feet. It's hard to top an entrance like that.
Did you get hurt?
I worked on the fall with our stunt co,coordinator and I had a nice big fluffymat to land
on. It was certainly unnatural at first to allow myself to fall backwards off a ladder,
but after the first couple of times, it was like "Wee! let's do it again!" You're right,
though, to top an entrance like that it'd have to have like a dolphin and a tricycle or
something.
Cathy DeBuono continued on page 73
October 2007
I65
Hot Shorts for Chicks
It might be fall, but we still can see women in short shorts.
"My movie tries to shatter preconceived
notions that people have regarding housewives,
racism and affairs. And setting the movie in
suburbia is another way it breaks assumptions;
it just adds to the element of surprise. Viewers
will think this is a conventional, boring couple living in an upper-middle-class enclave. They typically will not expect the drama and comedy that
unfolds:' (hollywontproductions.com)
Women filmmakers are shaking up the
LGBT film festival scene with their
unique short takes on the humor and
drama of lesbian life. Our picks for best
women's shorts this year are below. SheelaLambert
Best Comedy Shorts
Commitment Ceremony (Smithy
Productions)
FairyTale(Hysterie
Prod)
Commitment Ceremony is a delight-
ful comedy based on Julie Goldman's
titular (no pun intended) rock anthem
spoofing the absurdity and unfairness
of same-sex couples not having equal
access to marriage. The film intercuts
hysterical scenes of Goldman proposing to her" very special, significant, really
good friend" during a romantic dinner,
attempting to carry her over the threshold (huffing and puffing up three flights
of stairs while singing that she would
fix her car-"because I'm butch!") and getting "commitment ceremonied"
among kvelling friends and relatives in Prospect Park with music-video-style
scenes on a Manhattan rooftop, where Goldman rocks out and goofs around
with her guitar player.
"My hope is to entertain and show how silly it is to make gay people use
different verbiage than their straight counterparts. It was also during the time I
was planning my own wedding and was so sick of both sides arguing about gay
marriage;' says Goldman. "No one gets a vote on my life. If I want to be married
to a woman and use the word 'marriage; as is my right as a tax-paying citizen of
this country, then it's my right. If you don't want to have a marriage, then don't
have one. To me, it's a matter of choice and human and civil rights. I will not accept anything but the same rights and privileges as every other citizen. I am over
it. I don't want to wait for my rights anymore." (julie-goldman.com)
Happenstance
(Hollywon't
Productions)
This film by Joyce Draganosky is about Beth, a white suburban housewife in New Jersey who receives a shock when her
son brings his new girlfriend home to dinner. Not only is she
black and an older woman, she is the woman with whom Beth
had a secret affair. Drama, comedy and a forbidden romantic kiss ensue. Draganosky's film won the Shout LGBT Film
Contest on HBO and was available on HBO On Demand for
the month of June.
Writer-director Draganosky says, "Happenstance is an
excerpt from one of my feature film screenplays. It's about a
suburban housewife and mother who must confront an adulterous affair she had a decade ago, when it comes back to
haunt her-as her son's new girlfriend-"
Many people think of bisexuality or interracial relationships as something that occurs only in large cities, but
Draganosky set Happenstancein the suburbs.
66 Icurve
This tale by Pepita Mars is a delightful French
twist on kissing a frog to find true love. A woman
hunting for Prince Charming kisses a frog who
turns into Princess Charming, sparking girl-girl
romance. (hysterieprod.com/princesse.html)
Flowersat theParle(EnikProductions)
Mariel Macia creates a comedic Spanish take on
a blind date in the park. Charming black-andwhite vignettes on a park bench show two young
aspiring lovers verbally sparring, exposing their
insecurities and, eventually, a kiss. (enikpro.com)
OldMaid(ThreeDollarBillProductions)
This is a classic thriller spoo£ in Hitchcockian black and white, about a dyke who
takes her weekly card game a bit too seriously.(gayco.com/threedollarbill.htm)
Nati'sRequirements
Roberto Caston spoofs personal ad videos, as Nati's requirements for a mate
get more and more specific-and more hilarious-as the video goes on. (youtube.com/watch?v=g_4XU]dxB_c)
Also notable in the comedy category were Worst Case Scenario:Butch Edition,
a Super 8 butch-etiquette primer by Mary Guzman, and CastratoDi Matteo's
Audition Tape, where director Laura Terruso plays all three roles: Castrato
Di Matteo (in male drag), his girlfriend and his mother. She showed up to
DVD PICKS
the screening at New Fest in male drag and answered all her Q&A questions
in character.
Best Dramatic Shorts
Pariah(NorthstarPictures,Inc.)
The winner of NewFest's Best Narrative Short Award and Frameline's Best
Short Award is a melodramatic coming-ofage drama about an African
American lesbian teenager who tries to hide her true butch self from her
family, until it all blows up in her face. Dee Rees shot on location in New York
City, and the film gets points for being a rare, all African American production. (pariahthemovie.com)
Backstroke
Amy Bronson creates a heartbreaking story of swimming, budding young love
and tragic separation, told in flashbacks. Julie and Rome meet in a psychiatric
hospital where they are both patients. Rome is in for amnesia, Julie for attempted suicide, but they've known each other before. Julie flashes back to
their first meeting at the pool and falling in love. One morning, when Rome
went out for breakfast, she got into an accident and never came back; spiraling
Julie into depression and a trip to
the psychiatric hospital. Rome
doesn't remember Julie and the
psychiatrist instructs Julie not to
tell Rome otherwise, for the sake
of her treatment. Rome senses
something is missing but has
no idea what it is. Julie's heart is
broken for the second time, when
Rome is sent upstate to another
hospital without her memories
returning. (justanotherfilmstudent
.blogspot.com)
Succubus(FreeSpiritFilms)
Alison Reid features a sexy cat
burglar in a flick with great
production values. A lesbian
couple who wants to have a
baby argue when the more
impatient parent-to-be
takes
matters into her own hands.
Part comedy, part Canadian drama, this short succeeds best in the comedic sections; but it's worth viewing just to see the sexy cat burglar climb a tree.
The feature-length version is currently filming.
(succubustheshorifilm.com)
Filled with Water(The VictorianCollegeof the Arts, Universityof
Melbourne)
This short by Elka Kerkhofs is a charming, animated, Aussie love story.
Wordless, the emotions are told visually,with music and with sighs. The main
character's state of emotion can be tracked by the heart-shaped space in her
chest, sometimes empty, sometimes full, sometimes throbbing. (filledwithwater
.blogspot.com)
LaLupe,QueenofLatinSoul
(Independent
Lens):LaLupe
wasanenigma.Andit is the
achievement
butalsosomehowthedisappointment
of this
rivetingdocumentary
thatshe
remainsjustthatthroughout
thefilm,to its veryend.The
legendary
Afro-Cuban
"Queen
of LatinSoul,"whoreignedNew
York'sLatinmusicscenein the
1960sand'?Os,hadso many
facettes,andhermusicalstyle
wasso unique,overthetop,and
in essenceincomprehensible
that
it seemsimpossible
for thefimmakerto trulyconveythe motivationsandpersonality
traitsthat
wouldshowthe iconasa human
being.Yes,thereis the povertyLa
Lupebothsprangfromandfell
intoagainlaterin life.Thereare
the manyinterviewswith people
whoknewherwell.Andstill,the
onlymomentwhenthewoman
herselfseemsto shinethrough
is duringoneof too-fewarchival
clipsof herself,the oneof herin
a quirky1973appearance
onthe
DickCavettshow.(pbs
.org//a/upe)-UrsulaSteck
makeit anylesspoignant.
It
is highentertainment,
which
nonetheless
makesonecringe
duringalmosteverysecondof it.
Malkovich
mercilessly
revealshis
character's
ruthlessness
aswell
as hisdeepself-hatred,
andthe
peoplewhomConway
deceives
areshownbothasvictimsof a
conmanandascasualties
of their
andmindless
owngreed,na'ivete,
hungerfor a partin theworldof
fameandfortune.(magpictures.
com)-US
Escape
to Canada
(Elevator
Films):"Whatif therewasa
placewheremarijuana
was
legal,wheregaypeoplecanget
married,womengotoplessand
waris a lastresort?"asksthis
documentary
aboutmynew
favoritecountry.Coincidentally,
bothmarijuana
andsame-sex
marriagewerelegalized
onthe
samedaybackin 2003,and
thoughit's beenfar fromsmooth
sailingfor eitherlegislative
act,
thisfilm makesit soundlikethe
Statesarejustsouthof utopia,
at leastby hippie-stoner-dyke
standards.
Escape
followsthe
movement
towardandobstacles
blockingCanada's
statusasa
ColorMeKubrick
(Magnolia
liberal,
live-and-let-live
oasis
HomeEntertainment):
John
Malkovich
shinesin all hiscampy with moresensiblepriorities,
fewerwarsandprobablymuch
gloryin thisoutrageous
film
aboutAlanConway,
animpostor betterpartiesthananyplace
governed
bytheBushregime.
whopretended
to bedirector
Inadditionto makingmewant
StanleyKubrick.Constantly
on
to packmybagsandheadnorth
the huntfor sex,moneyand
for theborder,thefilm outlines
attention,Conwayluresyoung
the harmandgeneralridicumaleartists,wannabes,
haveof theAmerican
drug
beensandinnocentbystanders
of lousness
with
thecelebritygameintohisglitzy policy,throughinterviews
nonviolent
offenders
whohave
yetpathetictrap.Themovietells
a "true... ish"story,andtherefore takenrefugeamongournorthern
neighbors.
(escapetocanada.ca)
can'tbe measured
againstany
- Catherine
Plato
factualtruth.Butthatdoesn't
October 2007
I67
Reviews In the Stacks
Youth Before Beauty
A classic lesbian author and new takes on the F--word. I By Rachel Pepper
Three new nonfiction books on feminist herstory ask us to
consider ages, waves, and academic standing to determine how
we can learn from one another to the betterment of all women.
EDITOR'S The LGBTQ movement asks itself similar questions, and this
PICK month, we also look at a novel that grapples with the question in
particular of what our community's responsibilities are to queer
Comfort
Foodfor
Breakups,Marusyayouth.
Bociurkiw
(Arsenal
Pulp):Thismemoirof a The Child, Sarah Schulman (Carroll & Graf)
hungrygirlskillfully
tra- Who are the children of the LGBTQ community, and what
versesdecades
andcon- are our responsibilities to them? This is the central theme of
tinents,weaving
together Sarah Schulman's gripping new novel, The Child. Schulman
authorBociurkiw's has always had a talent for depicting a historical moment in
personal
storywithfood, fiction before the rest of us have fully lived through it. Thus
familyandhistory.
Intiny a novel, in her hands, is never just a novel. As such, one must
vignettes,
noshes
evoke
take careful note of her nuances
a widerangeof memoand consider carefully the quesries(theknishes
that
recalla fatherhaunted tions she posits. It may help
byWorldWarII,the to know that The Child is not
chocolate
thatreminds really about a child at all, but
herof liaisons
in dim a 15-year-old, sexually active
lesbian
bars),andshows gay boy, Stew. Ignored and
howBociurkiw
usedfood misunderstood by his family,
to engage
withtheworld. Stew has become involved with
A wonderful
readforthe a man he met online, quickly
hungrygirlin allof us.
entangling them both in a per(arsena/pu/p.com)
ilous, then tragic, web of indifDiane
Anderson-Minshall
ference. Because of Stew's age,
some readers may be put off by
the story, but Schulman doesn't allow us to take sides easily
or paint any one person as·hero or villain. Instead, Schulman
makes us wonder: Why don't lesbians have decent health
card Why do our relationships falter? What does it mean to
create our own families out of love, and how much will we
sacrifice to preserve them? Why aren't professionals trained
to deal effectively with the issues of gay youth? Thought provoking, finely written and timely, The Child is a novel that
exposes some surface cuts in today's well-veneered LGBTQ
community. How we choose to bandage the wounds, and
make things better, is up to each reader to decide. ( carroll
andgraf com)
Full Frontal Feminism, Jessica Valenti (Seal Press);
Sisterhood Interrupted, Deborah Siegel (Palgrave
Macmillan); Feminist Waves, Feminist Generations,
Eds. Hokulani K. Aikau, Karla A. Erickson and
Jennifer L. Pierce (University of Minnesota Press)
68
Icurve
Books about feminism will likely be nothing new to many readers. Most of us probably have a few classics on our bookshelves.
Yet each generation of young women has its own definitions of
feminism and its concerns about what feminism should bring
them. For example, in Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Womans
Guide to Why Feminism Matters, written for teens and 20somethings, author Jessica Valenti, editor of Feministing.com
uses a wise-cracking tone to ask hard questions such as why
laser vaginal surgery is promoted as empowering. Citing a press
release from the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute in New
York that reads,"Today women are now exercising their rights to
sexual equality due to innovative vaginal surgeries:' How, wonders Valenti, did the cult of beauty become equal rights? And
why are reproductive rights still under fire? She also explores
some of the stereotypes of the different "waves" of feminism,
and cuts to the quick of critics
who say that today's women
are not feminist enough when
she writes, "Third wave feminists are as serious as those who
came before us, really. What I
love about the third wave is that
we've learned how to find feminism in everything-and make
it our own:'
Valenti's book is delivered
in just the right format for contemporary young women. Many
of the same issues are raised in Sisterhood Interrupted: From
Radical Women to Grrls Gone Wild, but in a more academic
style. Third-wave feminist and author Deborah Siegel asks her
readers to consider what feminism means, and she provides a
detailed history of some of the accomplishments and conflicts
among women leaders of the second and third waves. Siegel positions her arguments generationally, and she acknowledges that
feminists disagree on important issues such as pornography and
lesbian rights. Yet, she says, "Feminist conflict, has, in the past,
been productive'' for the cause of women's rights, bringing media
attention, along with progress, to the cause, thereby integrating
feminist ideas into wider society.
Finally, Feminist Waves, Feminist Generations: Life Stories
from the Academy is clearly a book intended for academic use.
A collection of essays from female and male feminist-oriented
researchers and teachers, it examines the effect of coming-ofage feminists, third-wave, on academics today. With essays
like "Mixed-Race and Third-Wave Feminism," "Negotiating
Feminist Futures;' and "Poisoned Ivy;' (about the status of
openly LGBTQ faculty on college campuses), this collection
will no doubt find its place on the shelves, and in the hands,
of young feminist scholars. (sea/press.com),(upress.umn.edu) and
(palgrave-usa.com)
PAGE TURNERS
the incarceration
industry,is
at timestestimonyor prayer,
at timesaffectionate
address,
andat timespoliticalmanifesto.
Thesecollagepiecesboth
capturethe despairof lifeon
the insideandmakea stunning
casefor poetry'spowerto
inspirechange.In a poemset
in Angola,the Louisiana
State
Penitentiary,
Wright'slines
Virgin:TheUntouched
History, movebetweensocialobservaHanneBlank(Bloomsbury
tionandpoliticalcommentary:
USA):Weall knowwhata
"Saturdaynight/Going
to Walvirginis, right?Wemaythink
Mart/Satisfaction
guaranteed/
we knowthedefinitionof this
Over6 trillionserved,2 million
loadedtermbut,as Hanne
putaway/Itgetsold/thewaywe
Blankshowsin hernewbook,
dothings."In "ModernTimes,"
virginityis a lot morecomplex
observation
turnsto embodied
thanit appears.Blank'swidereflection:"BEJUST:inscription
ranging,scholarlybutreadable madebythe harrow/Pour
all
AUTHOR,RADIOPERSONALITY
studydemonstrates
that,far
the bloodbackintothe earth/A
frombeinga monolithic,
stable woman'shandwill closeyour
category,the conceptof virgin- eyes."(coppercanyonpress.org)
Though Jen Austin, radio personality at Mix 102.9 and Pride Radio in Dallas, Texas,
ity hasvariedwildlyacross
- JuliaBloch
time.Infact,as Blanktellsthe
didn't "officially"come out until she was 22, she admits that there was never a straight
storyof the 2005murderof
moment in her life. Her experience of soul searching, church searching and pairing up,
JasmineArchie,12,murdered
plus a seemingly unlikely combination of religion and homosexuality, led her down
byhermotherfor losingher
a path of intense self-evaluation. The result was the soul-baring book, Coming Out
virginity,we seethatvirginChristian.- LyndseyD:Arcangelo
ity is notjust a fluidcategory,
butalsoa feministone.Inthis
How did your faith play a role in your coming-out?
sense,Blank'sbookis trulyan
Faith has always been an important part of my life, and it was my biggest obstacle. I can't
activistwork.(bloomsburyusa.
remember a moment in my life when I haven't felt the presence of God. So when the
com)- Elizabeth
A. Allen
Jen Austin
I
Rebel'sQuest(Supreme
Constellations
BookTwo),Gun
Brooke(BoldStrokesBooks):
If thewholepointof romance
novelsis to keepthe maincharactersawayfromeachotheruntil theycouldpotentially
vaporize
frombarelysublimated
lust,
youcan'tdo muchbetterthan
GunBrooke'ssetupin Rebel's
Quest.ShepostsRoshan
O'Lantha,
resistance
fighteron
the occupiedGantharian
planet,
oppositean insurgence
from
AndreiaM'Aldovar,
collaborator
withthe invadingOnotharian
government.
Eventhoughthis
is a sci-finovel,youneverlose
sightof thecharacters'human
yearnings.
(boldstrokesbooks.
com)-EAA
FreshTracks,
Georgia
Beers
Your
(BoldStrokesBooks):
usuallesbianromanticformula-girl with issuesmeets
girl withtragicpast-does not
applyto GeorgiaBeers'Fresh
Tracks.Insteadof tracking
two flawedbut immediately
lovableheroines,FreshTracks
broadens
its scopeto include
notjustthe nominally
central
outdoorswoman
Amy,but
herwife,herfriendsandher
nieceaswell.Thestorynever
descends
to a melodramatic
angstfest; instead,thefocus
switcheseachchapterto a
differentcharacter,
allowing
for a measured
paceanddeep,
sincereexploration
of each
thoughts.Beers
OneBigSelf:AnInvestigation, protagonists'
to
C.D.Wright(Copper
Canyon): givesa welcomeexpansion
Wright'sbook,inspiredbyvisits the romancegenrewith her
clear,sympathetic
writing.
with Louisiana
prisonersand
(boldstrokesbooks.com)
- EAA
byresearchintothe politicsof
I
gay feelings started to well up, it really freaked me out. I thought one of the identities-either faith or sexuality-would have to go. I didn't see how a person could be
both gay and Christian at the same time.
How were you finally able to reconcile your sexuality and your faith?
The moment I first realized that it was other Christians who were condemning me as a
lesbian, and that the condemnation was not coming from God, it became a whole lot
easier to approach my faith.
How did coming out as a Christian evolve into a book?
It was actually my partner, Angela, who urged me to write the book. This was the book
that I needed as I was coming-out. I felt like most of the books out there at the time
were so overwhelmingly academic that it made them less relatable.
What kinds of things do you write about that gay Christians can relate to?
Um, dating men, though I often thought largely of my grocery list and other to-do list
items because I lacked any emotional connection, dating women while hearing the
symphonies and feeling the sparks (and] hunting for a church of acceptance and
love, all the while asking God for direction.
Would your book be beneficial to straight Christians?
My grandma and I have never really had a long conversation about my being a lesbian,
but this book was able to initiate some conversation. She said, "No sir, I don't have
anything against gay people, but I've never really understood it. But now, reading this
... I think I'm beginning to:• If this book can plant a seed, then I've done my job.
How has having such a revealing book published affected your personal life?
There are parts of the book that are less than flattering, and it's not easy to release those
things into the world (especially for a control freak like me). But at the same time if
my foibles can help someone else become stronger, then it will all be worth it.
October 2007
I69
Reviews Music Watch
Diversity Rules
I
These artists offer a wide spectrum of musical styles. By Margaret Coble
Surface,
Deb
Hunseder
(JodyGray
& Deb):"Yourworldwill
getturnedupsidedown,
getturnedaround,but
you'llbealright."So
beginsDebHunseder's
first soloCD.Surface
coversa widerangeof
musicalgenres,making
it suitablefor a variety
of settings.Guitarand
drumsgive"A New
Song"analternative-rockfeel,while
Hunseder's
voicelends
it a touchof pop.The
combination
is sureto
gethipsa-swayingand
feeta-tappingat a bar.
"Comeon Over"would
makea greatanthem This month's featured CDs are spread out along the spoken
for a girls-onlySunday
word to hip-hop, queer to straight continuums. Lenelle Moise,
barbecue.
Thesonghas
a fiercely out dyke of color, is obviously influenced by the jazz
a countrytwang,but
the lyrics"Girlsin biki- and hip-hop canons, but presents her material in more of a
nis/Come
on/Come
on performance-art, slam-poetry style. Georgia-based trans man
overandhavea warm Katz, aka Athens Boys Choir, goes a little further in the homooneon me"set it apart hop direction, incorporating guitars, a cello, and various turntafromyourusualcountry ble samples and beats. The queer black men of Oakland's Deep
melodies.
"InvisibleGirl" Dickollective have been leaders of the homo-hop movement
is a sadconfessional since day one, with a West Coast-conscious rap style born of
aboutloneliness,
which the spoken-word and slam-poetry traditions. Finally, we throw
mightmakeit cathartic in the straight white girls of Northern State, who return in glowhenyou'rehome
rious form to their old-school meets feminist rap roots.
aloneona Fridaynight.
Whatever
yourmoodor
locale,Surfaceshould Madivinez, Lenelle Mo"ise (Self-released)
havejustthetrackfor Incorporating singing, scatting and storytelling into her theyou.(debhunseder.com)atrical spoken-word delivery, Northampton-based Haitian
- MariaGinsbourg American slam poet and performance artist Moise titles her de-
70
Icurve
but CD after the Creole word for "dyke."The title cut poignantly
recounts her discovery of the word "madivinez;' resulting in her
whole-hearted embrace of it as her identity: "Glamorous. Holy.
Haitian dyke heart/Something I want to be:' The rest of the
disc's 15 tracks are similarly piercing, covering territory both
intimate and political, meeting at the intersection of race, class,
gender, sexuality and culture. Opening with a vivid and powerful piece about Hurricane Katrina, "September 4, 2005;' a
detailed person-on-the-streets narrative encapsulating the ex-
perience of having lived through the horrendous manmade disaster, the album goes on to feature the mostly sung and scatted
'i\.dantic Soul;' the cunnilingus-themed "Distractions;' and 'i\.ve
Maria" reminiscent of Sweet Honey in the Rock. Personal faves
include the album-closing, jazzed-up rendition of "We Shall
Overcome;' titled "Second Coming;' and the badass, not-takingit-anymore anthem, "The Fuck You Now Manifesto:' Amen,
sister. (lenellemoise.com)
Jockstraps and Unicorns, Athens Boys Choir
(Twinkle Toes Records)
Being an out tranny in the South can't be easy, but Katz, the
sole member of Athens Boys Choir, eloquently makes art out
of experiences good and bad on this, his fourth CD. The album
opener, 'i\.thens, GA;' sets the scene geographically as well as
musically, with old-timey piano, whistling and tap-dancing taps
accompanying his verbal vignette depicting life in his hometown.
Tracks like "Daffodils and Macrame" and "Homocoming King"
are strictly spoken, no music at all, while others ("Erasing Too
Hard;' "If You Can Dream It") offer guitar, cello and/ or turntable accompaniment. Katz's clever trannyfication of Sir Mixa-Lot's "Baby Got Back;' tided "Tranny Got Pack;' is a humorous, booty-shaking highlight, with "Technology Rulz" being the
album's other danceable groove. Don't miss the hidden track, a
satirical analysis of a Fred Phelps soundbite that pokes fun at the
infamous hatemonger. (athensboyschoir.com)
w
za:
w
I
h:
0
Cl)
a:
w
Cl
0
0
a:
I
::i:
On Some Other, Deep Dickollective (Sugartrack
Recordings)
It may seem odd to feature a hip-hop band consisting of several gay black men in a lesbian magazine, but Deep Die (as they
are often abbreviated) has a surprisingly large dyke audience.
Why, you ask? Well I'd venture to say because they are good.
Brilliant, even. With a West Coast-flavored style that they call
"chocolate-colored rainbow sound;' Deep Die takes on issues
of race, class, queerness and masculinity on this fifth album
release via tracks such as "Butchqueen;' "Negrolosophy" and
"Ghetto Rainbows:' The album is littered with more abstract
interstitial pieces, called "Innerlubes;' often sampling film
and TV soundtracks, like "He's Trade (Innerlube Six)" and
"Let Them Eat Cakes (Innerlube Seven):' The album-closing
cut, "For Colored Boys" ends the song cycle by riffing off of
chorea-poet Ntozake Shange's "For Colored Girls Who Have
Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf;' making it a
goosebump-inducing anthem for black fags everywhere. If you
like your rap smart, queer, and danceable, then definitely give
this a spin. (deepdickollective.com)
Can I Keep This Pen?, Northern State (Ipecac
Recordings)
With guest appearances by performance artist Murray Hill
(''The Three Amigas"), guitar phenom Kaki King ("Fall Apart"),
and harpist and electronic whiz Katie Cassidy, plus production
help by Chuck Brody (Wu Tang Clan, Yoko Ono) and Adrock
of the Beastie Boys, the new album from Long Island MCs
Sprout, Hesta Prynn and Spero gets back to their old-school
rap roots and at the same time branches out to some more rocking sounds on this third studio album. "Mic Tester" and "Ooh
Girl" start things off in the group's typical girl-gang rap style,
while cuts like the friendship anthem "Better Already" are on
more of a Le Tigre electro-rock kinda vibe. ''AwayAway;'a love
song of sorts, falls into a more mellow, downtempo category,
along with the mesmerizing "Run off the Road:' And surprisingly, politics find their way into a few cuts, too, such as the
President Bush-referencing "Cowboy Man" and the apathy critique "Cold War;' which asks the question: Whatever happened
to "Fuck tha Police?"Indeed. Love it! (northernstate.net)
Denise and Donna
I
PODCASTERS
I
Blogging fans have a new duo to love: Denise and Donna, hosts of The Lesbian Lounge
on GaylnternetRadioLive.com. A year-old weekly show that covers"all things lesbionic;'
Lounge goes from gossipy news to interviews with Hollywood celebs and, er (shameless
self-promotion here) CURVE editors, plus the U-Haul moment of the week and personals critiques such as "Denise Cruises the Personals:' We chatted with Denise about her
show, which listeners can log in to via the Lounge's chat room and get on air during the
show. Radio never sounded so good; tune in Wednesdays at 9 p.m., ET, if you want in
on the fun. - Diane Anderson-Minshall
Tell me about starting out.
We had come from another Internet station and the transition was almost seamless. I
had honored my contract with them, and within a week, had a contract with G.I.R.L.
Radio, gathered up Donna and said, "Let's go up to Orlando and meet the team!"
How many people are tuning in?
It's hard to accurately gauge how many are listening to the live show on Wednesday
night, because we can't track folks listening through MySpace, or igayradio(.com)
or Out In America's 200 Web sites. We do know we're averaging at least 400 to 500
downloads per week of the podcast, though.
Tell us how you got started.
I was doing an adult-oriented show for another station, and after 26 weeks of being someone the station created, a rather obnoxious female Howard Stern-type, I realized I
didn't like faking it. So, as I neared the end of my contract, I developed The Lesbian
Lounge, which was my way of spreading information globally for gay and lesbian business owners and families. My target was women who didn't have time to go out for
their entertainment and information. I wanted a show that focused on lesbian businesses, music; Donna's forte (is) hangouts, news and events. This way, if women have
kids, or they work days or they're sick of the bar scene, they can tune in to us while
they e-mail, or pay bills online or whatever. You can listen to us ... at home in (your)
boxer shorts.
Where are your listeners?
Right now, our strongest following is in Florida, and the East Coast, mostly because we
do many local events. We've been fortunate enough to hook up with POWER UP
in Los Angeles to help promote their films, so we're slowly gaining some West Coast
listeners!
What's next?
We're getting a lot of requests to do live broadcasts .... We'll also be releasing our very
first CD. Check us out at myspace.com/thelesbianlounge.
October 2007
I 71
KATRINA
Riding the Waves
Songs move us for different reasons. In some cases, we appreciate a
song for the composition itself while in others it's more that a song
takes us back to a specific place and time that we remember fondly.
"Walking on Sunshine;' the 1985 smash by Katrina & the Waves,
is one of my favorites for both reasons. I can appreciate it for being
the catchy, well,produced pop song, but beyond that, because it was
dominating the airwaves the week that I asked out my college girl,
friend, Sara: It reminds me of a special time in my life.
I first met Katrina Leskanich, the singer and frontwoman of
Katrina & the Waves, in December of 2003 while vacationing in
London, almost two decades after "Walking on Sunshine" made an
OTHER LICKS
ShakeYourself
Awake,Ms.Led
(FishtheCatRecords):
Seattle's
politicalpop-punks
arebackin fine
form,broadening
theirrangefrom
theirtrademark
callsto action("New
Agenda")
to '6Osgirl-groupgarage
("Upto OldTricks")andevena ballad
("Fools").(msled.com)
MyDenial,NyaJade(Katako
Records):
Miningmusicalterritorysomewhere
betweenJoan
Armatrading
andIndia.Arie,
NyaJade
offersa debut12-cutdiscof hookfilledR&Bballads,acoustic-based
rock,andsoulfulalternapop.
"One
Pill,"thelead-offsingle,is a bluesy
critiqueof ourdependence
onselfmedicating,
andthefeel-good"Live"
is moreradio-friendly
fare,whilethe
soaring"Home"andfunky,rocking
"Molasses"
arepersonalpicks.
(nyajade.com)
impact on me. Not only is she a musical talent, but she is a warm,
witty and open person.
Katrina & the Waves were a London,based quartet. They
released three major,label albums between 1985 and 1990 and
had a string of moderately successful singles. But in America, the
band always remained best known for "Walking on Sunshine:' Still,
despite being considered an '80s act by many, Katrina & the Waves
actually survived intact until 1998. Their breakup was not a pleasant
one. In fact, Leskanich describes the aftermath as "lawyers, guns and
money for three years:' Eventually, though, the dust settled.
In the early 2000s, Leskanich tried to get a record deal on her
own. But despite having both significant name value and high,qual,
ity material, it was to no avail. "For many years, [I was] banging my
head against the wall, trying to get a deal;' she admits. "I sent out
250 CDs and heard back from precisely no one:' Leskanich finally
decided to take matters into her own hands and released her debut
solo album, tided simply Katrina Leskanich,on her own label last
year. Currently, it is available through her official Web site, katrinas
web.com, as well as through Amazon.
The first single from Katrina Leskanichwas a cover of the Kirsty
MacColl classic'They Don't Know" (made popular on these shores
by Tracey Ullman). Leskanich's version, a sparse, lovely ballad, was
her tribute to MacColl, who died prematurely in 2000. The rest of
the album runs the gamut, from the percolating pop,soul of 'J\11
That Matters" to the cryptic stream of consciousness of "Watch:' It's
a musically diverse project; what ties it together is Leskanich's voice,
which is exemplary throughout.
These days, Leskanich is still based overseas. She tours
frequently there and recently finished a string of Norway dates with
fellow '80s icon Paul Young. When she's not performing, Leskanich
enjoys life with her partner, Sherry, and their menagerie of animals.
"Sherry and I met in a pet shop in Camden;' she remembers. "I
had Peggy Lee, my poodle, with me, and Sherry was talking to the
parrots in the shop. She said hello and I thought she was talking to
me, but a chorus of 'hellos' returned from some African Grays and
huge red and blue Macaws. We had a laugh, which turned into four
and a half years of the greatest joy I have known in a relationship:'
- Dave Steinfeld
72
Icurve
PerfectHandful,
JennLindsay
(self-released):
Released
intandem
withthepreviously
reviewed
(and
enjoyed)
UphillBothWays,
this
latestfromtheBrooklyn
antifolkieis
justasdelicious
asthe last.Check
out"MiracleThing,"anodeto Ani
Difranco;thealbumopening"Got
MyBaby,"anangstysingle-girl
anthem;andthewhimsicalyetachingheartbreaker,
"Don'tYouKnow."
(jennlindsay.com)
TheCentreWillHold,SwanIsland
(Holocene):
Describing
theirsound
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(Crushm):NowbasedinAustin,
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formerEuropean
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(swanisland
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love.com)
deliversa sublime,grittyandeclectic
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bluesysoul,a darkheart,andan
offbeatsenseof humor.(whengirlscollide.com)
BillieHoliday:
Remixed
&
Reimagined
(Legacy):
These
remixtributesto musicaliconsof
yesteryear
canbehit or miss,or a
littleof both,likethis14-cutset.The
mesmerizing
downtempo
treatment
of "Summertime"
byOrganica,
andLadybug
MeccaandRoland
Richards'
hip-hopmeetsswingreinterpretation
of "Spreadin'
Rhythm"
standoutascohesive,
inventive
andmodern,whiletoomanyof the
othersgetlostintheirattemptsto
reinventclassicsounds.Youdecide.
(legacyrecordings.com)
Beneath
theWatchful
Eyes,Arthur
LovesPlastic(MachineHeart):Out
D.C.areaDJ-producer-composer
Bev
Stantonis nothingif notprolific.And
consistent.
Howdoesshedoit?This
latest15-trackopusis yetanother
sumptuous
chapterin herlifelong
electronic
obsession.
(arthurloves
plastic.com)
- Margaret
Coble
Cathy DeBuono continued from page 65
You had to kiss two gorgeous women in one movie. What was
that like?
It was hell.
You had a sexy love scene with Desi Lydic, who plays Jeannie. Was
there any difference between playing the scene with her and similar
scenes with men you have done?
Well, the first obvious thing is that I more readily identify with Risa's sexual,
ity. Desi and I found an authentic connection with each other and that can
make all the difference. Plus she never forgot to shave, and I didn't have to
deal with five o'clock shadow, that can really irritate your skin.
You have amazing shoulders. How did you come by them?
I played Division I Volleyball at the University of Kentucky on a full scholar,
ship until I blew out my ACL [anterior cruciate ligament] during a match.
I was being courted by the National (U.S. Olympic] team at the time, but
my injury put an end to all that.
I heard that Ashley Judd influenced your acting career, is it true?
Yes, I met Ashley when I auditioned for some student,directed plays at UK,
and she cast me in hers. She was adorable and quirky with her braces and
rubber bands and I distinctly remember being struck by her obvious intel,
ligence right away. She was fun and silly,she used to climb up on my back
like she was scaling a tree and just point to where she wanted me to go.
I did not, however, put two and two together that The Judds were her mom
and her sister until it came up much later. I grew up on Madonna and Pat
Benatar, I knew nothing about country music. She pulled me aside for a
talk. She wanted to encourage me to continue acting, she expressed to
me the things that drew her to cast me in her play and her opinion that
I "belonged on the big screen:' She was passionate about it and generous
and gracious and when someone you've come to respect tells you things
like that, you tend not to forget it.
You have a master's degree in clinical psychology. Do you ever
use it?
When I decided to go to graduate school I had been in the acting field for
a few years. I had just concurrently lost a very dear friend to suicide and
watched my dad succumb to a fight with lung cancer, and the world looked
different to me after that. I felt compelled to explore and expand myself. I
have worked as a therapist in counseling centers, in a prison with juvenile
offenders, in a high school for severely emotionally disturbed teenagers and
in centers for adults dealing with addiction. When I got the job on Out at
the Wedding I was seeing clients in private practice, so I scheduled all of
my clients on the weekends and days when I wasn't shooting in order to
accommodate doing both jobs. Psychotherapy is fascinating work; it is an
eloquent mix of both art and science, and I love it. People come to therapy
to explore their truth, and they share their vulnerability with you and al,
low you to be a cog in the machine of their own self,discovery and healing
process. It never ceases to feel like an honor to be trusted with that.
Are you single? Partnered? Planning to have kids?
I do have a girlfriend, a wonderfully supportive and beautiful girlfriend. And
we do talk about becoming parents, but it's not like a baby is just gonna
fall from the
October 2007 j 73
Reviews
Tech Girl
High--definition Hollywood
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These players give the clearest, sharpest view of your favorite leading ladies. By Elle Kaycee
High-definition video will eventually send standard DVDs the way of the laser disc, but there's still the question of whether to go with Blu-ray or HD
DVD discs. The most important differences? Blu-ray discs hold more information than HD DVDs, at a higher cost. Although the format war rages
on-Blu-ray or HD DVD is the modem-day VHS vs. Betamax debate-there are plenty of options out there for your viewing pleasure.
Btu-ray, embraced by kids and adults alike
The Samsung BD-P1200 Blu-ray player offers up a crystal-clear
picture, also plays music CDs and standard DVDs, and has an
Ethernet port for future updates. And if you're looking for high-def
porn, Blu-ray has been embraced as the format of choice for the
adult-video industry. (samsung.com,$600)
HD DVD on the cheap
Like the Blu-ray, Toshiba's budget HD DVD player, the HD-A3,
offers high-res viewing, a port for firmware updates down the road,
and support for standard music and movie discs, but at half the
Samsung's cost. If you want in the game now, without risking too
much dough, this is the way to go. (toshiba.com,$300)
Combo systems cover all possibilities
For the indecisive or noncommittal (with money to burn), the LG
BHlO0 plays for not two but three teams: Blu-ray, HD DVD and
standard-definition DVDs. But, unable to play music CDs, it falls
short of being an all-in-one disc player despite its high price tag.
(us.lge.com,$1,300)
Game systems that do double duty
Microsoft offers an add-on Xbox 360 HD DVD player for its
high-definition game system that supports picture-in-picture
viewing and hybrid-disc recording for dual-layer discs allowing for
standard DVD resolution on one side and high-def on the other.
Sony's PlayStation 3, which debuted as the cheapest Blu-ray player
on the market at the time, also offers next-generation game play
and a built-in hard drive. Both are available in multiple capacities.
(xbox.com,starts at $300; playstation.com,starts at $500)
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74
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curve
I Tried It Reviews
Takeout, Take a Hike
Kick the takeout habit, learn to cook. I By Jodi Helmer
I used to survive on frozen dinners, boxed macaroni and takeout. The only
vegetables I ate came covered in cheese on the top of a pizza, and fruit was a
luxury to be found only in Sunday brunch buffets, never in my fridge.
Then I got cable. I became obsessed with watching celeb chefs move
through the kitchen measuring, chopping, sauteing and stirring. The look of
pure delight on their faces while they were cooking made me curious: Could
I enjoy cooking, too?
I decided it was time to find out. I prided myself on being an independent
career woman of the 21st century, not a 1950s Betty Crocker,type, so at first
I was reluctant to strap on an apron and set foot in the kitchen.
I was also nervous that after years of conscientiously avoiding the kitchen,
I might look like a total culinary failure. I started out slowly,getting used to
reading recipes, measuring ingredients and timing the outcome. I made a lot
of mistakes; I burned banana bread and underbaked cookies, but I also had a
few successes. And, though I didn't want to admit it, I was enjoying myself.
I became obsessed with the Food Network and started experimenting
with simple stews and complex seafood dishes. I added items to my grocery
list that I'd never heard of: lemongrass, saffron, dry mustard. I took great
care in selecting ingredients at the grocery store, shopping for milk, yogurt,
vegetables and whole grains, skipping the aisles filled with frozen pizza and
sugary cereal. I even started waking up early on Saturday mornings to shop
for locally grown organic produce at the farmer's market.
Suddenly I was eating home,cooked meals on Fiesta dinnerware, instead
of scooping plastic forkfuls of processed food from styrofoam containers. I
stopped eating out five nights a week and started staying home, clipping reci,
pes, watching Iron Chef and searching online for new cookware.
As I began experimenting with new foods, my eating habits changed.
Instead of noshing on potato chips, I crunched on apples; I silenced my sweet
tooth with yogurt instead of cookies and learned that fresh fish tastes far
better than a burger that's been sitting beneath heat lamps at a fast food res,
taurant. And then something else happened, something I didn't anticipate: I
started to lose weight.
The waistbands of my pants started to feel loose, and I could go out to
dinner without having to undo the top button of my jeans. With no scale in
the house to test my theory, I had to wait until a visit to the doctor before my
suspicion was confirmed: I had lost eight pounds, effortlessly. In the process
of learning to cook, I'd changed the way I eat.
Selecting recipes, shopping for ingredients and measuring portion sizes
not only gave me control over what I was eating; it made me feel empowered
to make good choices. When I stopped relying on the neighborhood diner
for nourishment, I expanded my eating habits to include new foods. I tried
new combinations and gained an appreciation for homemade food with fresh
ingredients, something I couldn't do when dinner came from a box. My taste
buds developed an affinity for foods that weren't riddled with pesticides, pre,
::.:: servatives and packaging.
I've graduated from a single pot and frying pan to a well,stocked kitchen
with appliances I never dreamed I would own. The rice steamer, paella pan,
blender and food dehydrator are all in regular rotation and it's not uncom,
mon for me to use two burners and the oven for a single meal.
i;S
co
I'm still making mistakes and won't be opening my own restaurant in the
(.)
I pridemyselfon beingan independent
careerwoman of the 21st century,not a
1950s BettyCrocker-type,so at firstI was
reluctantto strapon an apronand set
foot in the kitchen.
near future, but I'm gaining confidence in my cooking skills. I'm no longer
afraid to venture into stores that stock only kitchen gadgets (I've even been
known to make a purchase or two), I've amassed quite a collection of cook,
books and I find myself musing about what I'll make for dinner. In just a few
short lessons, I've graduated from a plump purveyor of takeout to a lean, mean
cooking machine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a souffie in the oven.
October 2007 j 75
Coming Out to Your Parents continued from page 31
Swimming With the Dolphins continued from page 53
The Odds Are on My Side continued from page 57
Try to get your parents interested in gay-oriented
events in the community to see how normal and
varied gay people really are. Get them involved in
PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and
Gays), although taking your conservative, upset
folks directly from the conversation to a drag queen
strip show is not a good idea at this junction.
or give us a solution for global warming. I was sure
I could learn a few things or two from them if I
simply got close to them.
Many people confuse dolphins and porpoises.
Even though they both are members of the whale
family, they have different body shapes. Large foreheads usually distinguish dolphins, but the easiest
way to tell them apart is to look at their teeth. All
dolphin teeth are round, whereas porpoise teeth
are flat, not that I planned to get that close to distinguish the difference.
We took a small boat to a nearby island where
we could see several swimmers in the water. Some
were petting the dolphins. Others were getting
their photos taken. In the distance though, you
could see a few brave souls hydroplaning, their
arms outstretched, their torsos well above the water, being propelled by two dolphins. Dare we give
it a try:' Of course!
We queued up, but I sure didn't want to be
the first one to break the sound barrier. Better
to watch someone else and see what was up with
this foot push thing. Kids, older people and others
with various sizes and shapes all took their turns.
Still, I was nervous.
I don't even like skiing or using toe-clips on
a bicycle, so putting my faith in something over
which I had no control was a bit unsettling. But
give off bad Feng Shui at the roulette table:' They're
gone and it's just you and a dealer and your bags
of cash (er, credit line). And don't think high rollers don't share the wealth: one level five high roller
likes to sruff$100 bills in the slot machines of eager
players he passes, just to be nice. I got gifted with a
bottle of champagne when one VIP near me won;
when I remembered that I too was a high roller I
paid it forward and gave it to a sexy girl nearby.
5. YourPartner'sRole.It's tricky for a partner to
know what to do in this situation. Any good girlfriend will want to be by your side as you face the
music. But that may make things a bit more difficult. In order to diffuse the situation, her presence
may not be a good strategy. She'll want to defend
you and this often adds insult to injury. The fewer
people you have in the room the better your reception will be. And having a stranger there to fixate
their anger upon is a bad idea. If your partner is
immediately available by being in the room, you're
making it too easy for your parents to misdirect
their attention, disappointment and anger with
the situation by fixating on your girl. They will go
from trying to understand who you are and trying
to embrace these new ideas to just simply blaming
your partner for "turning you gay:' In this case, a
united front can be threatening and give the message that someone is kidnapping you from them.
The only person you want your folks to consider
in this moment is you.
Do have your partner nearby to support you
when it's over. You'll need the comfort. Acceptance
takes time. Give your parents some space, but stay
in touch. Continue with life as usual. If you used
to call them every day, continue to do so. There is
no need to change the conversation so that every
sentence is about your gayness. Resist the urge
to continually reinforce this fact to them. If your
girlfriend comes up naturally in the course of the
conversation, that's fine. But don't force the issue.
Expect, too, pregnant silences, at first, when you
mention it at all in any context. These things take
time. Just continue on as if there is no issue. At
this point, their reactions and feelings about your
gayness is their beer to drink, not yours.
In the end, it is your imagination that hinders
you from sitting down with one or both of your
parents and talking to them about who you really are. You imagine the worse: They'll shoot you
with a poisoned dart or they'll call some religious
organization to grab you off the street from the
back of an unmarked van for deprogramming. At
worse, they may scream, yell, threaten or cry. In
the end, you'll survive coming out to your parents
and likely you'll find the situation was not nearly
as bad as you anticipated it would be. After all, it's
not like you told them you were in love with Rush
Limbaugh or O.J. Simpson. Now, there's a reason
for
76
Icurve
in life, sometimes you have to face your fears. You
can't always be a passenger.
My turn was next. I was bit nervous, wondering if I'd crash and burn with two snouts pushing
me from behind, but the guide assured me that all
I had to do is wait, and enjoy the ride. Bobbing
about with my lifejacket, I felt sort of stupid as I
faced the shore. What if the dolphins thought I
was a piece of tuna and bit off my pinkie toe:' What
if they were having a bad dorsal day:' Sure, they're
tame, but it was just me against two Flippers, each
of whom weighed far more than I did, and could
leap small buildings with a single bound.
So, there I waited, like a sitting duck. Sure
enough, two snout-missiles soon found the soles
of my feet, their tails churning rapidly as they
approached my rear. I felt two shoehorns gently
press on the soles of my feet and soon my torso
was buoyed up above the water, and I was looking
like that female beacon on the bow of the Titanic.
My arms spread widely in front of me, I was like
DiCaprio, shouting, 'Tm the king of the world!"
It was all over too soon. The ride lasted about
30 seconds, at which point, the dolphins slowed
down, and I was eased back into the water. Mission
accomplished. I swam back to the pier to flirt and
have my portrait taken with my mammal chaperones, Fat Boy and Jake.
Indeed, thanks to dolphinworld.org, I had the
ride of a lifetime.
The Biggest LittleCity in the World
There's more to Reno than casinos and girls. A
cultural wave gentrified downtown, the nightclub
scene is growing, queer-owned boutiques and restaurants are starting to emerge and it's trendier than
ever before. With the Truckee River Whitewater
Park, Truckee River Arts District, The Chocolate
Bar (yes, it's exactly as it sounds), Reno Events
Center (a great concert space where I saw Journey
and more mullet-sporting dykes than imagineable), and quirky museums (the National Bowling
Stadium, the national Automobile Museum),
there's something for everyone here. With couple
of local gay ski weeks (WinterFest and South
Lake Tahoe's Blue Gay-la) and the International
Gay Rodeo Association Finals, LGBT travelers
are slowly getting to know Reno and its nieghbor,
Lake Tahoe. Couples from the intermountain region and California are also flocking to Reno to
"tie the knot" in traditional, Nevada way at one of
the gay-friendly wedding chapels.
The super friendly El Dorado is one of my
fave hotels here-it has 10 restaurants, some better than others. Every great meal I had in Reno
happened in the El Dorado. At Roxy's, among
the city's best, I order the sigature Cowboy Rib
Eye Steak. I'm flush with the excitement of being
in beef country again (hey, we're not all vegetarians). Sure the steak is drizzled in blue cheese and
there's a dollop of spinach, but really, truly, this is
a carnivore's wet dream. While I eat, I down three
of the Roxy's 102 different martinis and half way
through the steak I'm just not sure I can handle
the chocolate souffie I ordered. But, when in
Rome (or Reno, that is), so I finish half the steak,
four drinks, lobster escargot, Catalan shrimp and
mushroom ravioli appetizers and the souffie and
I waddle up to my room hoping to sleep. But the
whirlpool and the Reno skyline beckons so I mix
another drink and mellow out in the bath.
My dinner guest, publicist Julia Peaua, is a
Reno local. She did eat the whole damn steak
while I watched. Peaua's brother is gay so having
queer family members, she says, gives her extra
commitment to bringing lesbian and gay travelers
to the El Dorado. Judging by the lesbian high rollers I spoke with, the hotel casino complex hardly
needs the extra help.
Buffalo or Ohio: continued from page 63
the local lesbian bar, owned by Donna, who
is always grumpy, but somehow adorable, and
known and loved by all. Bartender Sarah is the
bomb, and we rocked the house before crashing
with some gay boys, friends of friends. The next
morning we had to rise and shine for a television
taping before performing that evening at Dirty
Jack's where I met an entire roller derby team
of girls from Minnesota and check out the new
nightclub Adonis, which is absolutely gorgeous,
and has state-of-the-art lights and sound. It is
truly one of the most outstanding dance floors I
have ever seen and the drag shows are top-notch.
The DJ announcedmy
arrivaland I felt likea star...
untilI had to wait in line
..-~
.........
It's mainly a gay boy hangout, but there are still
plenty oflesbians on certain nights. Check out the
Adonis outdoor pool in the daytime, where you
can sip a Mai Tai or surf the net.
The next stop was Covington, Kentucky where
I performed at one of my favorite little local lesbian bars, Rosie's Tavern, owned by the fabulous
down to Earth Diane, who named the place after
her dog Rosie. We had the place packed when my
drummer realized he left the microphones at the
last gig. I stalled with a few acoustic songs while
he sped back across the river to get them. Despite
the late start the crowd was raring to go and we
rocked out for almost four hours before I almost
died from second-hand smoke; tobacco is the state
crop so smoking is still legal in all bars in Kentucky.
Oh well, I love my Kentucky girls and their cold
Blue Moon. Yadda's, another lesbian bar, ("If
you haven't been there, y'adda'') is a few doors
down from Rosie's and has a huge dance floor, an
outdoor patio and great bartenders. (Be sure to
check out both clubs if you're ever in Kentucky.)
We crashed at Michelle and Kelly's house, a gorgeous four-story place with an adorable cat and a
coughing dog. We woke up to a gourmet breakfast of coffee, eggs, biscuits and grits, and I tried to
console the coughing pooch, who reportedly has a
heart murmur.
We were off and running to Columbus, Ohio
and forgot my guitar which was luckily delivered in
time for my first show, Rockin' In The Streets.This
is a huge outdoor event under a tent in celebration of gay Pride and we were thrilled to share the
stage with BETTY and local artist Tracy Walker.
It was a fantastic show and I sold a bunch of CDs
before packing it up and heading back to the hotel
where we fit almost thirteen lesbians in one bed!
We shared a pizza and stayed in, but the next day
my voice was gone which had me in a panic so I
didn't talk all day. My friends find it amusing to
torture me when I can't talk, so it was a long and
painfully quiet eight hours. I sipped hot water and
was able to get enough voice back to put on one
more show that evening, another big outdoor festival called Dancin' In The Streets. More CD sales
and autographs and we were off and running once
again, catching a 5a.m. flight back home. I'm still
catching my breath, but plans are underway to hit
the next city. Hope to see you there!
Bethlehem,
NH
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October 2007
I 77
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October 2007
I 79
Top Ten Reasons We Love Paige Braddock
Creator of the popular dyke drama comic Jane's
World, Paige Braddock has been drawing comics since she was old enough to hold a pen. She
recently released volume seven of the series, in
which heroine Jane, who bears a not-so-slight
resemblance to her creator, encounters life's trials and tribulations, from the mundane (juggling love interests) to the bizarre (morphing
into a rabbit in the middle of the desert). In
addition to finishing the eighth volume of Jane's
World, Braddock is currently at work on illustrations for Jason McNamara's graphic novel The
Martian Chronicles,a sci-fi comedy set on Mars.
- CatherinePlato
1. She's livingher childhooddream.Braddock
became interested in drawing and comics "somewhere between first and second grade" and counts
Peanutscreator Charles Schulz as a childhood hero.
2. Shelearnedfroma master.Braddock worked
under Schulz, and today is the creative director
at his studio. "He was also very encouraging," she
remembers. "In general, he was very supportive of
women in comics, a field dominated by guys ....
After I got this job, my mom sent me a drawing
I'd done of Snoopy that she'd been saving all these
years. It can be intimidating to work for your hero
. . . but also life-altering in a good way:'
3. Shedefinitely
foundherniche.Braddock hasn't
worked much in other mediums; she found what she
loves and is sticking with it. ''I've always loved pen
so Icurve
The latestinstallmentof Jane's Worldpromises
"girl-on-girl
action,chickswith guns,a vegan menace, vintageWinnebagosand the powerfultransformativeenergyof the SedonaVortex."Sign us up!
and ink work," she explains. "I worked for 12 years
as an illustrator for several newspapers [including
the ChicagoTribune and the Atlanta Constitution],
and pen and ink was always my specialty:'
4. She knowshow to pleaseher readers.The
latest installment of Jane's World, promises "girlon-girl action, chicks with guns, a vegan menace,
vintage Winnebagos and the powerful transformative energy of the Sedona Vortex:' Sign us up!
5. Talkto her andyourwordsmightturnto ink.
Braddock uses pieces of her friends' conversation
when she's writing dialogue. 'J\uthentic dialogue
is hard to mimic without some basis in fact," she
says. "That doesn't mean I'll lift an entire conversation and use it. If I did, my friends would never
tell me anything!"
6. Like a mother,she doesn'tpick favorites."I
guess there are personality traits of all the characters that I like;' she says. Braddock's especially
surprised with how popular some newer characters, like tough girl Chelle and butchy ex-cop Jill,
have become. "I almost think Chelle and Jill could
now have their own spin-off book:'
7. She'spartof the crewthat keepsSnoopy
alive.
As the creative director of Charles M. Schulz
Creative Associates, Braddock calls the final shots
on creative issues concerning any new Peanuts
products. Along with a crew of sculptors and artists, she reviews about 6,000 new products, most of
which reach an Asian audience. "Basically,I put out
a lot of fires all day long:'
8. Her charactersall have mindsof their own.
There's something incredibly endearing about the
way Braddock speaks of the fictional Jane's World
crew. In volume eight, the characters crash on a
deserted island and have to survive."The nice thing
about these characters now is that I know them so
well I can create a context and just throw them into
it. And I can pretty much know how they'd react:'
9. She'sfullofsurprises.
At the time when Schulz
offered Braddock a job, she was enrolled in a theology program at Emory University .
10.Shedefinitely
loveswhatshedoes.What does
Braddock do with her downtime?: "Would you
believe draw and read corniest She also admits a
love for vintage-cruiser bicycles.
:.:
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Cil
.J
©2007 Mercedes-BenzUSA, LLC
Designedto keepeyesonthe road,handsonthewheel
andboredom
in therearviewmirror.
INTRODUCING THE ALL-NEW 2008 C-CLASS.
Why did we devote so much research to the placement
The car's dexterous handling is complemented by
of every switch and
a pair of V-6 engines, which deliver rocket-like torque,
every dial? Why did
even at low rpm, through the category's only 7-speed
we study the driver's
automatic transmission.
and
Like the most advanced racing machines, this vehicle
sightlines so exhaus-
was perfected at autobahn speeds where every fraction
tively, and create a
of a second counts. From the driver's seat, controls can
seat
position
control panel that is
as intuitive as it is beautiful? Because we promised you a
be accessed with little more than a glance and a turn of
the wrist.
This not only makes driving safer, but more fun as well.
Mercedes-Benz. That's why.
After seven years of unremitting testing, we bring you
Especially with a 450-watt Dolby Digital surround-sound
the 2008 C-Class. From its very core, with over 70% of tlie
system* to accompany you as you take to your favorite
body built with high-strength steel, it is a tribute to our
serpentine road. And with 268 horsepowerat your disposal,
legendary reputation for safety.
tedium and monotony quickly fall away behind you.
THE C-CLASS.A study in aesthetics, ergonomics and flat-out driving fun. Starting at $31,975**.
-----------------
Unlike any other.
Mercedes-Benz
MBUSA.com
C300 interior shownwith optional features. Pleasesee your dealerfor more details. *Optional feature. **MSRP for a 2008 C300 includestransp. charge.Excludesall options, taxes title regis. and dealer prep.
For more information, call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES, or visit MBUSA.com.
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