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Description
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ToC Cruisin' MoTown by Colleen M. Lee (p28); Cover: Another Shot at Love with Dani Campbell by Diane Anderson-Minshall (p32); Tila Tequila's Other Girls by Candace Moore and Kristin A. Smith (p40); L Word Exclusive: Helena's Prison Lover by Laurie K. Schenden (p42); Becoming a Bridezilla by Beren DeMotier (p46); Marriage Rights: Where Are We? by Mea Chavez (p48); Fight for Your Rights by Lauren Marie Fleming and Heather Gold (p50); Going to the Chapel by Tamara Le (p52); Girls Rule the Track by Jennifer Corday and Jodi Helmer (p54); Smokin' Tailpipes by Colleen McCaffrey (p56); Choosing the Perfect Bike by Jennifer Corday and Hillary Kyle (p58); Taxicab Confessions by Kristin A. Smith and Victoria A. Brownworth (p60); Biking Through Asia by Carla King (p62); Always be Prepared by Jennifer Corday (p64); The Monster Mash by Jennifer Corday (p68): Aboard the Crazy Train by Sara Seinberg (p67). Cover Photo by Melissa Rodwell.
See all items with this value
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issue
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3
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Date Issued
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April 2008
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol18_No3_April-2008_OCR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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APRIL 2008
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THE BEST-SELLING LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME 18 NUMBER 3
FranklySpeaking
Our Girl Next Door
1550 Bryant Street, Suite 510
San Francisco, California 94103
Phone 415-863-6538 Facsimile 415-863-1609
Advertising Sales 415-863-6538 ext. 10 or 212-446-6700
Subscription Inquiries 818-286-3102
Advertising E-mail advertising@curvemag.com
Editorial E-mail editor@curvemag.com
Letters to the Editor E-mail letters@curvemag.com
Publisher/Editor in Chief
Executive Editor
Associate Publisher
Senior Editor
Assistant Editor
Book Review Editor
Music Review Editor
Contributing Editors
Proofreaders
Art Director
Photo Editor
Production Manager
Production Artist
Web Producer
Operations Director
Sales Department
Advertising Sales
MySpace Manager
MySpace Marketing
Marketing Representative
Editorial Assistants
Photo Assistants
Frances Stevens
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Sara Jane Keskula
Colleen M. Lee
Katie Peoples
Rachel Pepper
Margaret Coble
Julia Bloch, Victoria A.
Brownworth, Gina Daggett,
Sheryl Kay, Gretchen Lee
Theresa Johnson, Rachel
Leach, Remy Ramirez,
Katherine Wright
Stefanie Liang
Nicole Teichman
Ondine Kilker
Kelly Nuti
Nikki Woelk
Flo Enriquez
Holly DeMaagd
DianaL Beny,RivendellMedia
LindseyJ. Taylor
Amanda Campa
Tammy Lam
AislinnClevenger,Teresa
Coates,HeatherGilligan,
KatieKaapcke,Colleen
McCaffrey,KamalaPuligandla,
KellyRulon,KoryTran
Sara Chestnutt-Fry,
Catherine
V.Seriosa
Contributing Writers ElizabethAllen, Kathy Beige,
Mea Chavez, Jennifer Corday, Michele Fisher,Tania
Hammidi, Jodi Helmer, Gillian Kendall, Kathi lsserman,
Kate Lacey, Charlene Lichenstein,Karen Loftus, Karlyn
Lotney,Candace Moore, Aefa Mulholland,Catherine
Plato, LaurieSchenden,Stephanie Schroder,Sara
Seinberg, Jenny Sherwin, Ursula Steck, Jocelyn Voo,
Melany Walters-Beck
Illustrators Phil Cho, KatherineStreeter
Contributing PhotographersSohpia Hantzes, Gabriela
Hashun,Cheryl Mazak, Connie L. Merchant, Mia Nakano,
Maggie Parker,Melissa Rodwell, ElisaShebaro,Jeff
Singer,Paul Thomas, KinaWilliams
Volume 18 Issue 3 Curve (ISSN 1087-867)() is published monthly (except for
bimonthly January/February and July/August) by Outspoken Enterprises, Inc.,
1550 Bryant St., Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103. Subscription price:
$49.95/year, $62.95 Canadian (U.S. funds only) and $71.95 international (U.
S. funds only). Returned checks win be assessed a $25 surcharge. Periodicals
postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additional mailing offices
(USPS 0010-355). Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced
in any manner, either whole or in part, without written permission from the
publisher. Publication of the name or photograph of any persons or organizations
appearng, advertising or listing in Curve may not be taken as an indication of
the sexual orientation of that individual or group unless specifically stated. Curve
welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and artworl<.Include SASE
for response. Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials.
Submissions cannot be returned unless a sett-addressedstamped envelope is
included. No responsibiltty is assumed for loss or damages. The oontents do
not necessarily represent the opinions of the editor, unless specifically stated. All
magazines sent discreetly. Subscription Inquiries: Pleasewme to Curve, 1550
Bryant Street, Suite 510, San Francisoo, CA 94103, e-mail shop@curvemag.
com, or call 818-286-3102. Canadian Agreement Number: 40793029.
Postmaster:SendGanadian
addresschangesto shop@curvemag.com,
Curve,PO Box
122, Niagara Falls, ON L2E 688. SendU.S. addresschangesto shop@curvemag.
com, Curve,POBox 17138,N. Hollywood,
CA91615-7138.Printedin the U.S.
••
Dani Campbell is the perfect
lesbian girl next door, a softie
with a heart of gold. Her
biggest aspiration seems
to be using her newfound
stardom to be a positive role
model for young kids coming
Frances Stevens Publisher/Editor in Chief
out.
Who would have thought last summer when we were helping MTV cast their new "lesbian reality dating show" at Peach, our Atlanta Women's Pride Party, that the show would become A Shot at Love with
Tila Tequila?Under the impression that we were casting for an alUesbian show, the final contestants
were just as surprised as we were, when they arrived to vie for Tila's heart, that there would be 16 straight
men also trying to win her over. Turns out one girl won the hearts of a plethora of viewers (LGBT and
straight) across the country in the first bisexual reality television series-and it wasn't Tila Tequila.
Firefighter Dani Campbell is the perfect lesbian girl next door, a big softie with a heart of gold. Her
biggest aspiration seems to be using her newfound stardom to be a positive role model for young kids
coming out, to bust through archaic stereotypes and to develop her own clothing line called Futch (get
it?). In our exclusive cover interview (page 32), executive editor Diane Anderson-Minshall delves deep
to find out what makes Dani Campbell tick.
We're most excited that Dani will be partying with CURVE at our issue release party in San Francisco
in late March and again this summer in Atlanta for Peach. That latter party will happen during Atlanta
Pride on the Fourth of July weekend. (Yes, for the first time ever, Atlanta Pride will whoop it up freedom-style on a new weekend,July 4-6!)
You'll probably recognize the actor Lucia Rijker as Helena's strong, silent cellmate on The L Word.
But you might not know that Rijker is also one of the best female boxers in the world.-In Million Dollar
Baby,Rijker played the fighter who crushed Hilary Swank. But when writer Laurie K. Schenden apprehensively stepped into the ring with Rijker, she discovered a softer side of the notorious bad girl.
Our first special auto section ("Women + Wheels" starts on page 54) is packed with tough chicks, too,
including race car drivers, a monster truck competitor and even an ex-cop turned stunt woman. There's
also Melissa Plaut-one of only 400 women cabbies in a plethora of over 40,000 male drivers. And if
you're a gutsy adrenaline junkie dreaming about climbing behind the wheel of a race car, writer Jodi
Helmer introduces you to your next big thrill at the Bridgestone Racing Academy in "Ladies, Start Your
Engines" on page 55.
It's time for our wedding issue and brides in bloom, too. We've got the lowdown on what's legal
where, hints on making it through the big day unscathed and profiles of the women who are leading the
fight for our right to marry. Phew, with so many great articles, it's no wonder the CURVE crew is tired.
Don't forget to give them the thumbs-up when you join us in San Francisco and Atlanta to meet Dani!
Keyword: Curvemag Web site: curvemag.com
April 2008
I1
Features
"I get
attention
anywhereI
go and it's
notjustthe
gay parties.
I probably
havejust
as many
straight
women
fans as I
do gay. It's
awesome
to thinkI
brokesome
sillystereotypes in
away."
April 2008
28
32
40
Volume 18#3
Cruisin' MoTown The Motor City often gets a
Start Your Engines
bad rap, but Detroit is a thriving and gay metropolis. By Colleen M. Lee
54
Girls Rule the Track Anything boys can do girls
can do better. By Jennifer Corday and Jodi Helmer
Cover: Another Shot at Love Dani Campbell
won our hearts. Now, she dishes on life after A Shot
at Love. By Diane Anderson-Minshall
56
Smokin' Tailpipes Scooter Girls with pinup flair.
By Colleen McCaffrey
Tila Tequila's Other Girls From Ashli the virgin
58
Choosing the Perfect Bike Get the goods from
to Amanda the Amazon, we catch up with the
other reality 1V dykes. By Candace Moore and
Kristin A. Smith
lesbian bikers on how to buy a motorcycle, and we
chat with a lesbian stunt driver. By Jennifer Corday
and Hilary Kyle
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Dani Campbell
page 32
L Word Exclusive: Helena's Prison Lover
Champion boxer Lucia Rijker dishes on knocking
out Hilary Swank and making out on The L Word.
By Laurie K. Schenden
60
taxi driver and try out those fun car share services.
By Kristin A. Smith and Victoria A. Brownworth
46
48
Becoming a Bridezilla One married lesbian tries
out taffeta and combat boots. By Beren deMotier
Marriage Rights: Where Are We? We map out
where you can marry and where the fight continues. By Mea Chavez
50
Fight for Your Rights These activists want you
to marry! And a bride gives us some wedding tips.
By Lauren Marie Fleming and Heather Gold
Cover photo by
Melissa Rodwell
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Going to the Chapel A New Hampshire church
hosts the New Year's Eve civil unions of 11
couples. By Tamara Le
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Wedding Bells
Taxicab Confessions Take a ride with a woman
Biking Through Asia One woman's ride through
China. By Carla King
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when the tire goes flat? By Jennifer Corday
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Cadillacs for fun. By Jennifer Corday
67 Aboard the Crazy Train These lesbian BART
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April 2008
"I reallydidn't
knowwhatthe
firstmovewas,
so I couldn't
verywellmake
it. Consequently,
we spenta lotof
timethatspring
of oursenioryear
ridingaroundina
carfullof cigarette
smokeand sexual
tension."
page 24
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Frankly Speaking A message from our
publisher.
6
Letters Our January/February cover
girls get lots of love and so do our CURVE
pinups.
18 Lesbofile Janice Dickinson dishes on
71 In the Stacks Rachel Pepper analyzes
two novels on very different types of
transitions.
her lesbian romp, Penelope Cruz makes
out with hottie Mia Maestro and Jodie
Foster finally comes out.
20 Lipstick & Dipstick Mixed signals
out the queer and quirky musicians
(like Alison Pipitone, above) of the indie
scene.
21 Ask Fairy Butch Butch-on-butch love
season's cool parties.
12 Out in Front We showcase a queer
Asian American scholar, an attorney
working for employee rights and a
girl who went from homelessness to
Harvard.
14 Curvatures Frida Kahlo goes on tour,
Poland gets a book on coming out and
Cove Creek is a green and gay refuge in
North Carolina.
16 Open Studio Zahava Sherez uses
manual labor and heavy materials to
create beautiful female sculptures.
and how to be out-and-proud in Green
Bay.
24 Dyke Drama The two great mysteries in
life: cars and women.
26 Politics It's time for a feminist revolution.
68 Sapphic Screen Candace Moore
checks out The Hattie and the Nottie's
homoerotic undertones and Butch
Jamie's gender bending.
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76 Tech Girl It's our video game blowout
and we put party-style and single-player
games to the test.
22 Astro Grrl Careers bloom in April. What
do your stars say?
...J
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Contributors Get to know your writers.
10 Scene All the hot girls were at the
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73 Music Watch Margaret Coble picks
about marriage lead to problems.
9
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I Tried It CuRvE'sexecutive editor
Diane Anderson-Minshall soothes her
aching muscles with Watsu, a form of
aquatic therapy.
80 Top Ten Reasons We Love
Alexandra Billings We can't help it.
Actor Alexandra Billings' big heart and
eclectic roles win us over.
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Letters
"As of now, not too many L Word stars have
been vocal about their likes and dislikes
between the sheets, so when another
A newsurveyby
LeaseTrader
says
thatwomenwant
morespacein their
carsratherthannifty
gadgets.Whatdo you
lesbianswantmoreof?*
one comes out (as straight, gay, bisexual,
transgender or what-have-you) our little
community goes ga-ga."
Bette and Tina Cause a Stir
I enjoyed your interview with Jennifer Beals ['All Bettes Are
Off" Vol. 18 #l] ! I was so pleased to see her say that she thinks
The L Word needs to tackle real issues, such as hate crimes, in
the GLBTQ community more directly. I think The L Word has
35%
iPod-ready
stereo an amazing platform from which to address the real struggles
(Takeyourtunes GLBTQ people face, yet it rarely steps up to the plate. I hope
everywhere) Chaiken listens up! - Kate Bodey, via email
23%
I just wanted to say great job on the articles in January /February
GPSnavigation issue (Vol. 18 #l]; especially on the interviews with Michelle
(I'll neverbe lostagain) Paradise ("Another Day in Paradise''], Jennifer and Laurel
Holloman ["It's My Turn"]. I hope you are all not working too
hard, but after reading the magazine tonight, I think that is defi,
Sunroof
nitely an understatement. - Michelle A. Bart of Helping Heroes
(I wantto havea
Productions, Los Angeles
16%
viewon all sides)
12%
Heatedseats
(It is winterafterall)
9%
Fold-down
seats
(Theversatility
aloneis worthit)
4%
Bluetooth
capabilities
(Look,Ma.Nohands!)
Maybe I'm just completely out of the loop, but I was shocked to
learn that Laurel Holloman (The L Word's Tina) is bisexual in
the article"Now It's My Turn" (Vol.18 #l]. I know it shouldn't
matter, but let's face it, as lesbians and bisexual women, L Word
fans are going to be interested in the sex lives
of the women portrayed on screen, whether
they like it or not. As of n~w, not too many
L Word stars have been vocal about their
likes and dislikes between the sheets,
so when another one comes out (as
straight, gay, bisexual, transgender
or what,have,you) our little com,
I just finished reading the January /February issue (Vol.18 # 1]you know, the one with Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman on
the cover-and I enjoyed all the articles immensely. You all are
doing a great job with the magazine. It's informative, relevant,
and entertaining. - Diane Meholick, Buffalo, N.Y.
Cool Curvy cuRveChixs
I was completely impressed with the recent layout in CURVE ["I
Was a Middle,Aged Pinup;'Vol.18 #1]. Diane looked amazing.
That was so cool. Seriously, so pretty! I loved it. It was...inspiring.
Actually, I have such image issues so that was just completely
inspirational to see all shapes, sizes and looks out there presented
with confidence and quality. I always wanted to be a part of
something like that, promoted just being who you are and
embracing your inner tiger. Ya know, like "Hot Talk with the
Thick Chick" or something. You rock, woman! - Denise, The
Lesbian Lounge, Coral Springs, Fla.
I was in a Lo Do (Lower Downtown Denver) bookstore and
picked up CURVE magazine. Those pies of Diane, Sara Jane and
Katie are so hot! - Bonnie Barrett, Denver, Colo.
Apparently You Love Pinups, Too
*According
to an munity goes ga,ga. I commend Ms.
onlinepoll.Votenowat Holloman for her nerve at coming
curvemag.com. out as bisexual even when married
to a man. It's another victory for the
bisexuals who are sick and tired of
explaining themselves (it's the gender,
not the genitalia), especially considering that
Holloman remains a self,identified bisexual
while in a happy, heterosexual marriage.
Thanks Laurel, from all the bis out there.
- Alison, Trumbull, Conn.
It's hardnotto expecttonsof fan
mailwhenyouhavethe reigning
queensof America'smostbeloved
lesbiandramaonyourcover,but
the mailwasn'tall aboutTheL
Wordthis month.Apparently,
you
likeit whenwomengoundercover,
discovering
theirinnerpinupasthree
of ourlovelyCurvettes
did.Wewere
floodedwith letterslaudingour
executive
editorDianeAndersonMinshall,associate
publisherSaraJaneKeskulaandassistanteditorKatie
Peoples.
Fromfriendsandfamilyto prisoners,
Hollywood
publicistsandcollege
alumnigroups,cuRvE
gotletters,callsandemailsfromnearandfar about"I Was
a Middle-Aged
Pinup"[Vol.18 #1].Thanksfor the madprops!
::II'.'.
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Letters
A Gamer Speaks
I am a female gamer. I love CURVE. Your magazine mentions a lot of new "tech" ideas, but you
are forgetting the very successful gaming market.
There are girl gaming leagues that gamers can join.
Just like bowling leagues, but with less of a caloric
burn. I currently belong to the gamerchix league.
We will all play on Xbox Live different nights of
the week with different games. Xbox Live has even
teamed up with Logo and a lot of other shows are
available to download for points. Some lesbians
get into the cyber-nerd hype. Remember Angelina
Jolie in Hackers? Not all of us are as nerdy as you
may think. I'm not telling you how to run the
magazine, but it would be pretty cool to see a
game review along with the new movie or DVD
reviews. Thanks for letting me put in some input.
-
Love and Desire
I love this magazine. The photography is top
notch. I enjoy the current events information pertaining to the lesbian community. It's about time
we had a slick, good-looking magazine to represent our community. Keep up the good work.
Yeah, go CURVE! - Teresa, Las Vegas
I picked up your magazine for the first time the
other day and was rather surprised to see it was
both informative and fun. I will not subscribe,
however, because everything you said to look to
the website for (example-the lesbian quiz) cannot
be found after an hour of searching. You might
want to get a search bar on the site or make it
easier to navigate. It does not do your magazine
justice. - Susan, Youngstown, Ohio
Melissa, Chattanooga, Tenn.
It would be great to read an interview with
Scottish actress Laura Fraser. I think she's been
overlooked for far too long. Although she is
straight, she has played the part of a lesbian in
The Investigator and most recently in the incredible movie Nina's Heavenly Delights (and she had
a brief girl-girl kiss in Iron Jawed Angels). She's an
amazing performer who's been in numerous movies and it would be interesting to hear some of her
views and opinions. - Lisa D. Breck, Ferndale,
Mich.
Got Something on Your Mind?
Email letters@curvemag.com; write to CURVE
Letters, 1550 Bryant St., Ste. 510, San Francisco,
CA 94103; fax to 415-863-1609. Please include
your name, city and state. Letters may be edited
for clarity and length.
Editor's Note: We are in the process of revamping
Editor's Note: Great news, Melissa: we're gamers,
our website Susan, so check back soon. As for the
too.Just check out Tech Girl in this issue and you will
search bar, at the bottom of every
see what we have been up to. And you'll be seeing lots
is the word "Search." Click on it and it will take you
more video game coverage in upcoming issues.
to a search bar.
CURVE
website page
Corrections
The photo of late author Jane Rule (Vol. 18 #2]
was taken by Sophie Verhagen. The company
Tourgi (Vol. 18 #2] no longer exists. ■
Contributors
"My mother burned hers on the beach 30 years ago, so there was
no chance of a dress handed down from mother to daughter;'
says BerendeMotier.
''I've never even put on a prom dress-it was
my first time in taffeta. I could have been a bridezilla big-time
given the chance:• Four years ago, she married her partner of 21
years in her mom-of-three uniform-jeans and a black T-shirt.
She finally caved to the call of the bridal shop, and while trying
on dresses, she learned that brides should order a dress one year
in advance, so plan ahead.
"Darkness falls and it's a long, cold, tedious ride. We should
have tried to find a hotel in that last small town;' says Carla
King,who thinks it's fun to ride cranky old motorcycles in exotic
places around the world so she can break down a lot and get
to know the locals. Her story "Get Your Motor Running" is
adapted from her upcoming book on riding through China, and
demonstrates how being lost on a cold dark night in the back
country of Hebei Province might reward one with a spiritual
epiphany or two.
"Writing for CURVE is much more fun than writing my dissertation was;' says HeatherGilligan.She's also glad that she's now
writing articles that "people will actually read:' Her upcoming
projects include writing an article on same-sex sexual harassment
and finding the best place to drink Belgian beer in San Francisco.
Does she miss the great works of 19th-century literature?
"Sometimes;' she says, but whenever the urge to read something
set in the past strikes her, she turns to an Anne Perry mystery
instead of UncleTom'sCabin.
"I will embarrass myself in any way my editors ask just for the
opportunity to speak with wonderful women such as stunt
driver Gail Bowen;' says HilaryKyle,who also has an upcoming
interview with musician Kaki King. In the part of her life where
she still has control, she says, "I have recently completed the final
edit of my first novel, which hopefully you will read one day and
wonder how that spineless do-gooder wrote such a wonderful
piece of arr:'
Get an autographed copy of CURVE
signed by Dani Campbell herself!
6
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Signup nowat curvemag.com for a one-yearsubscription
to DaniCampbell's
favoritelesbianmagazine
andyou'llget
an autographed copy, absolutely FREEi
Hurry,suppliesarelimitedandDani'sgot a lot of friends!
Offervalidwhilesupplieslast-limited to thefirst 250subscribers.
Goodfor newsubscriptions
or renewals.
USsubscriptions
only.Norefundsonsubscriptions
withthisoffer.
Mustusecouponcode"dani08"uponcheckout.
Norainchecks.Allowupto 8 weeksfor
thedeliveryof yourautographed
copy.NotvalidwithanyotherCURVE
offer.
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1 L Wordactor Jane Lynch (left) with Lynn, Ann Cuminotto of Helping Heroes Productions
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at the HRC Women's Garden Party 2 Star Sweet Baby Jai (left) with writer Dee Jae Cox at
the Los Angeles opening weekend of Cox's play ProveIt On Me 3 HRC hosted the fifth sea,
son premiere of The L Word at Pi Bar in Minneapolis. Janis Verusso from the HRC Board • ~
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of Governors (left) was on hand to pose with Linsey Harding of the WNBA'.s Minnesota
Lynx 4 Volunteers from Basic Rights Oregon were on hand at the domestic partnership
registry in Portland, Ore., after the Family Fairness Act went into effect 5 Partygoers at
CURVE'sannual holiday bash in San Francisco 6 (From left) Writer Tracy E. Gilchrist, co,
median Sabrina Matthews ;nd Carrie Belin at the Vickie Shaw event in Long Beach, Cali£,
presented by All Out Films and Logo
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7 Heather Matarazzo (left), star of Logo'sExes & Ohs, and Alina Wilczynski (right), co-founder of
0 P.Lynx,introduce the panel at Women on a Mission: Lesbian Pioneers, Mavericks & Mavens in
New YorkCity 8 Former Oregon governor Barbara Roberts spoke at the BasicRights Oregon rally
9 Andrea Meyerson (left) and Vickie Shaw 10 CuRvE's annual holiday party in San Francisco
(ftom right to left) CURVEeditors Diane Anderson-Minshall and Colleen M. Lee, Anne
Moellering, PlanetOut vice president, and friend 11 Longtime lesbian activist and co-founder
of New York Chapter of NOW Ivy Bottini (left) and Judy Scheer ofYESDESIGNGROUP
at the HRC Women's Garden Party 12 Jasmine Hinds on the drum at the International Day
of Action Against Global Warming in Los Angeles 13 Attendees at the fifthseason premiere
of The L Word 14 Sacramento TV personality Kelly McAlister (right) with girlfriend Marci
Burba at cuRvE's annual San Francisco bash
April 2008
I 11
Attorney Fightsfor Rights
BuildingBridges
Homelessnessto Harvard
Ask attorney and workplace rights activist
Many consider AliceHomto be a writer, educator
and activist, and they'd be right, but Hom says
she's just a bridge builder.
"In whatever situation I find myself in, I tend
to think about networking and how to help likeminded people get to know others and to create
access for folks;' she says, "whether it's access to
knowledge, information, money, resources or
other people who may be able to help them:'
Hom garnered international recognition with
her seminal work co-edited with David Eng, Q
& A: Queer in Asian America. The anthology is
one of the few concerning Asian American queer
Growing up in an abusive household in a
staunchly conservative, working-class small town
in the Mojave Desert while knowing she was "the
weird kid who was never interested in boys" left
Tanene
Allison
feeling trapped.
Her solution? Allison skipped her senior year
of high school and drove as fast as she could to
San Francisco with no money or connections.
To make ends meet she took multiple part-time
jobs, sometimes sleeping in shelters, sometimes
crashing on friends' sofas. Yet hers is a tale of
homelessness to Harvard.
"I refused to believe my story would be one of
failure;' says Allison. "I mean, numerous amazing
people supported me along the way.And I worked
as hard as I knew how to, I never got decent sleep,
but that was all driven by some stubborn belief
that my life would become something of purpose
and beauty:'
Sharon
Malheiro
what her vision is for successfully
achieving LGBT civil rights, and her answer is
simple and direct.
"We still need to be our own best advocates;•
she says.
Malheiro, who has spent years helping to
change and formulate Iowa laws to become
more inclusive of the LGBT community, noted
that her Des Moines-based employer had included
sexual orientation and gender identity in its
Equal Employment Opportunity statement, but
did not offer domestic partner benefits.
When she inquired as to why, the answer
was that no one had asked before.
"Within five days of my asking the question,
our firm began offering domestic partner benefits;'
ilieu~
,
Many corporations, noted Malheiro, "don't
realize that adding domestic partner health care
benefits for lesbian and gay employees engenders
minimal costs, but has an enormously positive
impact on their employees, as well as their ability
to recruit new employees:•
When she's not providing legal counsel
to companies on workplace issues, Malheiro
devotes countless hours to grassroots efforts,
including the LGBT Community Center of
Central Iowa where she currently serves as
president, and One-Iowa, a newly formed advocacy organization working to achieve LGBT
equality through voter identification, community
organizing and educational events.
If you know of any LGBT activists
or any women who are Out in Front
at work, home or in the community,
please let us know by writing to
curvesoutinfront@hotmail.com.
12 j curve
studies and is used for scholarly research in colleges and universities across the country.
In the past decade, Hom has lent her talents
to numerous community outreach groups for
program and resource development, and she now
serves as Board Chair for the Astraea Lesbian
Foundation for Justice and the California
Community Partnerships Manager for the
National Gender and Equity Campaign. She's
also often seen on the university lecture circuit,
• addressing audiences on the politics of identity,
working to end violence and building coalitions.
Hom, currently completing her doctorate at
Claremont Graduate University, believes there
have been many gains in the past 30 years for
the LGBT community, but that there is much
more work to do.
"Discrimination, prejudice and oppression
based on race, gender, sexuality, socio-economic
status, ability and religion still exist on different levels for people all around the world;' Hom
observed. "One way to address these injustices is
to realize that we have to see that our issues are
interconnected, and that we can't have human
rights for just some people and not fight for the
rights of everyone:'
At 19 she was an active member of the San
Francisco Youth Commission. She's trained with
Emerge: Women Leaders for a Democratic Future,
and assisted in educating the Massachusetts
legislature about gay marriage for the United
Leaders Institute of Public Service.
"It's about power, you know, and who has
the power to create such situations, and who has
the power to change them;' says Allison, now 26
years old. "It all comes back to politics, and using
those systems to create a better world:'
In 2006 Allison graduated from Harvard with
a master's in public policy and then consulted
with MTV, coordinating their political work.
"Whether we like it or not, our mere existences are political;' she said. "It's rare that the
timing of a movement is so right and so ripe,
and we re right there right no'w,and we need all
the energy and creativity we can get behind this
movement:'
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Kahlo Hits the Road
MORE TIDBITS
Carpenter, and the art historian and Kahlo biographer Hayden Herrera, will trace her 28-year career.
Frida Kahlo is best known for her graphic,
haunting
self-portraits,
which often depict her
with her bleeding heart exposed. As a child, Kahlo
was severely maimed in a bus accident. Later, she
endured an abusive relationship with the painter
Diego Rivera. So it is no surprise that her paintings
starkly reflect both physical and emotional pain.
Although all of her art is deeply personal, there
is more to her work than heartache. Kahlo played
an integral role in artistic and political revolutions
throughout
the world; that involvement in the
larger world is also represented in her paintings.
Even her still lifes can, through their subject matter
The Mexican artist Frida Kahlo (1907-1954)
would have been 100 in 2007. In celebration, the
and sense of forced reserve, give the viewer an idea
of who she was as a woman and an artist.
The show travels to
Walker Art Center in Minneapolis and the San
Philadelphia
Francisco Museum of Modern Art organized a
opens in San Francisco
(in time for Gay Pride),
traveling exhibition featuring over 50 of her paintings and some of her photographs-many
of which
had never been seen before.
The bisexual artist's career began in 1926 and
continued until her death. The exhibit, which is
curated by the Walker's associate curator, Elizabeth
before
and runs through Sept.
28. Find out when it's in
a town near you (or when
you should plan a trip to
go see it) at walkerart.org.
Coffee with Marilyn
The Coffee With... series-eight tiny books sold with full-size coffee
mugs-imagines question-and-answer sessions with dead cultural icons.
The interviews with Marilyn Monroe and Oscar Wilde will satisfy queer
fans and fanatics alike. These fictionalized conversations turn biographical facts into juicy stories. If you ever wanted to know how Marilyn
Monroe ended up in bed with a president, or which man landed Wilde
in jail for breaking England's sodomy law, you can find out here.
Drawn largely from interviews and the icons' own published writ-
C
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ings, these books capture Monroe's trademark wistfulness and Wilde's
famous wit. But they also reveal the lesser-known sides of the stars'
personalities. Monroe's fury at being typecast as a bombshell shines
through in her account of divorcing Arthur Miller after he wrote her
•the role of an overemotional bimbo in The Mis.fits.And Wilde comes
across as more than a sarcastic
CURVATURES
WRITTEN
BY
dandy, especially in the description
of his painful post-conviction life
as an exile in France.
And what of Monroe's Sapphic
MeaChavez,
Heather
GIiiigan,
Colleen
McCaffrey,
KatiePeoples,
Kristin
A.
side? That may be another story.
Smilh,UnaSWlslockl
(dbponline.co.uk)-HG
14
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sTttNa.M
LisaShennan
waspromoted
to executive
vicepresident
andgeneralmanager
of Logoin NewYorkCity.Shewasthe
seniorvicepresident
fortwoyears,during
whichsheledthe LGBT
TVnetwork's
launch.
LisaLargess,
a 44-year-old
lesbian,
wasnarrowlyapproved
for ordinationin the Presbyterian
Churchin the
SanFrancisco
region.Herapproval
is thefirst sincea 2006resolution
by
the Presbyterian
General
Assembly
thatallowsgayandlesbianordination
candidates
to conscientiously
objectto
a still-in-effectpolicyagainstordaining
non-celibate
gayandlesbiancandidates.
GLAAD
is urgingpeopleto complain
to the NewYorkPostafterit refused
to changethe inflammatory
headline,
"EvilLesbianMomLeftToddler
to Die
a SlowDeath:DA"andtheoveruse
of
sensationalistic
phrases
suchas"lesbian
lovers"in thestory.GLAAD
saidthePost
wouldnothavehighlighted
thesexual
orientation
if thestoryhadbeenabouta
straightwoman.
A recentsurveybygay-owned
Community
Marketing
Inc.showsthat
gaymenandlesbians
traveloncruises
threetimesasoftenastheirstraight
counterparts-and65 percentof them
tooka cruiseona mainstream
line,
showingthatthereis a hugeopportunity
for companies
to cashin.
It'sthattimeof year.GirlBarDinah
ShoreandTheDinaharehitting
the California
desertonApril2-6.
Entertainment
at thecompeting
events
includesTheL WordsLeishaHailey
andherband,UhHuhHer,indiedarling
ColbieCaillat,Suzanne
Westenhoefer
andBelindaCarlisleandtheGo-Go's.
(dinashoreweekend.com,
thedinah.com)
Former
VicePresident
AlGorerecently
announced
hischangeof heartregarding
full same-sex
marriage.
Duringhis2000
runfor the presidency
he,likethisyear's
Democratic
presidential
hopefuls
Sens.
HillaryClintonandBarackObama,
supported
civilunionsbutnotsame-sex
marriage.
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Lesbians Gather in
North Carolina
Annie Lennox
Sherri Schwartz decided to leave Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., because of
the weather. "It all goes back to climate change;' .she says. "The
water is so hot, it's a fiesta for hurricanes:'
During her search for property elsewhere, she came upon
what she calls an oasis of liberalism surrounded by the Bible
Belt: Asheville, N.C. Asheville's population is made up of college
students from the nearby University of North Carolina, foodies
drawn to the region for its vegan and vegetarian delights, spiritual
types who are attracted to the ions rumored to linger in the air
around the mountains and retirees and second home,owners from
all over the South who are drawn to the beautiful scenery.
When Schwartz started looking for a house though, things
got a bit hairier. She couldn't find a builder she trusted to do a
good job constructing a home for a couple of lesbians. Southern
people are very nice, she stresses, and accepting of anyone who
doesn't "flaunt their differences:' Still, "you feel better in a com,
munity where everyone is the same:' But rather than throwing in
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way we're discriminated against, but this community is welcom,
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ing and friendly for LGBT families. If anyone has a problem with
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owners, but it is also green, something she is very proud 0£ "We
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to get off our butts and do something:' The homes are built with
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that the project will be a success. - LS
Hayden Panettiere
"I have friends who have told me that if their partner
gets sick, they wouldn't be allowed in the hospital
room because they' re not considered immediate
family and they have no spousal rights. I think it's
very unfortunate that a person can't marry who
they want to marry. Everyone should take care of
their own business without judging others. Like I
always say, 'Don't judge me unless you've walked
a mile in my shoes."' >> Reba McEntire, to Blue
Streak when asked about gay marriage
"I slightly despair of women ever having reasonable
partnerships with heterosexual men because I
think we're just such different creatures, on such
different planets. I think that's why homosexual
men seem to get on so much better with each
other, because they know their own mind-set so
much better." >> Annie Lennox, to OUT magazine
about whether she thinks men are the problem
in our society
"You want to make me a lesbian? That's totally fine
with me. We could do a love affair with Angelina.
We could do ... Oh gosh, I love- there are so
many beautiful girls. Charlize Theron. Oh, my
God. Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous. Jessica Alba."
>> Heroes star Hayden Panettiere, to GQ on
what romantic rumor they could start about her
April 2008
I 15
Zahava Sherez
"My background does not affect my art; it is my art;' the sculptor Zahava Sherez says, standing in her Oakland, Cali£, studio surrounded by
her work, a mass of buyers and her own students.
Sherez was born in Argentina, grew up in Israel, and spent several years in Connecticut before moving to California. Her cosmopolitan
background shaped her worldview and her desire to use art to represent the inherent human spirit that links women across racial, ethnic and
religious differences.
•
It was the idea of rethinking the typical role of women and the desire to challenge "all of the ,isms" that plague our culture that drew Sherez
to sculpt. Sculpting in stone called to her because it was "manual labor:' It is unusual, she says, to see women working in heavy materials with
electric tools.
She likes the challenge of the blank block: "I want to see the soul" she says of shaping rocks into women. The
act of prying a soul from an inanimate object, she feels, reminds us of what is possible when we identify with
each other; if she can see humanity in a stone, then surely we can see it in all people, despite social divisions. "It's
more difficult to keep being the way we are;' she says of her hope for progressive change.
Her workspace and gallery are filled with sculptural representations of the female form, including three,
dimensional women hewn from stone and colorful reliefs of women's faces composed in mixed media, which
hang on the walls. Her sculptures all seem slightly tribal-her Storyteller sculptures are empty cloaks shaped to
suggest the forms of life,sized women sitting cross,legged. Her Tribal Women series is small figures you could
hold in your palm. Like the Storyteller, they are clutching hooded cloaks, but they also bend forward slightly, as
if traversing a windy desert together.
She attributes her interest in women of diverse ethnicities and nationalities to her childhood days in
Argentina. "My nanny was a woman of color;' she says. "She was my first love:'
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Women's Trivia Factoids
Left-handed women
run a 42 percent higher chance of developing
breast cancer than right-handed women.
Mary, Queen of Scots
was not only the first female
golfer, and one of the youngest rulers of all time, but also
rumored to be a lesbian.
The
first African American woman
to practice law was named Charlotte Ray.
She was admitted to the bar in 1872 after graduating from
Howard University Law School.
Pharmacist, chief executive and lawyer are the three
occupations with the highest earnings among women.
The band Blondie was
originally called the Stilettos.
lesbian couples
have better communication skills than heterosexual
A recent long-range study shows that
Lucille Ball was on the first
cover of TV Guide and has been on
more covers than anyone else since.
couples. They also use fewer hostile tactics.
11,000
number of tampons
the average woman
uses in a lifetime.
In 1958, Julia Child
became the first
woman to be given the
title "chef."
Poet Maya Angelou was totally mute for
five years because she felt responsible for the
death of the man who raped her when she was 7.
All facts can be found in The Big Book of Women's Trivia by Alicia Alvrez.
April 2008
I 17
Curvatures
Lesbofile
Gay Is the New Black
Celebrity lesbian experiences are so hot right now. I By Jocelyn Voo
This month, everyone wants to be gay-straight
girls, bisexual girls, and even one very special formerly closeted icon.
A Bit Too Friendly
Years ago, when she was still dating Mick Jagger,
supermodel Janice Dickinsonthawed her icy
screen persona when she consoled her best friend,
a 'gorgeous platinum beauty" named Pia, who'd
just broken up with Ron Wood, Jagger's fellow
Rolling Stone. However, perhaps she thawed a bit
too much. "Pia and I ended up spending an awesome evening together-having the best sex ever.
Maybe it was her grief at losing one of the greatest
rock guitarists in history. Or maybe she was just
horny. Whatever. As girl-on-girl interludes go, it
was hot, steamy and wild;' she allegedly told the
News of the World. Being with a woman, it seems,
trumps dating men. Says Dickinson, "You get to
have sex, swap shoes and that toilet seat stays
down at all times:• Can't argue with that.
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Many have wagged their tongues at Tila Tequila's
reality dating show-and
not in a good way.
While the MTV show was heavily touted as the first
reality show featuring a bisexual, it's "all a sham;' a
source close to the show told the New York Post.
"Tila has and has had a boyfriend for over a year,
and she's not really bi. She's made out with some
girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi
at all:' While a rep for Tequila confirmed to the
Post that the pint-size star was indeed bisexual,
it may come as no surprise that Bobby Banhart,
the guy Tequila ended up choosing over swoonworthy firefighter Dani Campbell,said he never
heard from the exotic beauty after he supposedly "won" her heart. Tequila claimed on MTV's
New Year's Eve special that Banhart dumped her
because of her overpacked schedule. Banhart,
however, said on a Dec. 30 message posted on
MySpace that "she never called me after the last
show and no one would give me her number:'
Hollywood's solution to put the "he said, she said"
to rest? A second reality show season.
Scary Spice
A Spice Girls reunion tour? Ahh, nostalgia. The
fivesome reunited this past December and revealed
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that they were all dose-though
perhaps closer
than anyone had previously thought. According to
Fox News, Mel C, aka SportySpice,insisted that
their bond was "sisterly;• but the others weren't
quite as adamant. "We don't fight and we don't
share clothes;' Melanie"ScarySpice"Brownsaid.
"And we don't sleep together:• "She has tried it on
schoolgirl outfits and suck on lollipops before frolicking in a pool wearing red swimsuits. Can't get
over the whole sister thing? No worries-later in
the video, Penelope gets hot with Alias actor Mia
Maestro.Ahh, family ties.
Another Door Opens
us though;' Victoria"PoshSpice"Beckhamsaid,
Thank God. At this point, we think the only perpointing at Brown. 'Tve had to say 'no' so many
son who doesn't know JodieFosteris gay is Jodie
times:' Adds Geri"Ginger
Spice"Halliwell,
"I mean,
Foster hersel£ But now even she seems to be comcould you imagine waking up to this [points to
ing to grips with it-sort 0£ During her acceptance
Brown's body] every day of your life? I just can't
speech at the Women in Entertainment awards
stop staring at your boobs:'
ceremony this past December, Foster gave gratitude to her partner, film producer Cydney
Bernard,
"who sticks with me through all the rotten and the
Family Ties
Hot off her Oscar nomination for Volver, Penelope bliss:' The pair has been together for 14 years and
Cruztraded down from the silver screen to ignite
are raising two young sons, but Foster has been
the small screen-with a lesbian kiss. No kidding.
notoriously silent about her private life. This is the
In her younger brother Eduardo's music video for
first time Foster publicly recognized Bernard, cit"Cosas Que Contar;' a very hot Penelope and her
ing her as "my beautiful Cydney:' Welcome to the
equally hot sister, Monica, wear Britney-esque
outside, Jodie. It's a great place to be. ■
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Curvatures
''One of the
Coming Out Goes Global
Perhaps second only to our first
something she felt she needPride parade, the one day we LGBT
ed to read hersel£ and "it's
folks never forget is the day we
obvious from the news that
come out. Whether for the first or
coming out of the closet is
the tenth time, coming out can be a
still difficult, even in America:'
nerve-wracking experience requirOriginally published in 1991
ing something a bit stronger than a
by HarperCollins, the book
martini to take the edge of£ Lesbian
received rave reviews for
author Kittredge Cherry's powerful
showing that "secrets are
guide to coming out, Hide & Speak,
something to be honoredmay be just the tool you need to build
sometimes kept, sometimes
your confidence. Helion Press,
revealed for the light they
a major commercial publisher in
shed
on what makes us
BYKITTREDGE
CHERR'V
...., dWOM>NSWOID
Poland, seems to think so.
human:' Cherry's groundOnly three other books on queer
breaking book was recently
sexuality are available in Polish, all of
updated and re-released by
which treat it as a disease. Helion Press recognized
AndroGyne Press, based in Berkeley,Cali£ Stressing
the relevance of Cherry's book and signed a contract
the importance of having a support system, Cherry
for its translation shortly before National Coming
says, "Readers will learn to live proud, free and
balanced, no matter what happens:' An author,
Out Day.'Tm delighted to introduce Polish gays and
lesbians to the power of coming out;' Cherry said. spiritual director, art historian and ordained min'The ideas in my book are so new in Poland that the
ister, Cherry writes to "stimulate readers to enrich
expression 'coming out' doesn't even have its equivtheir own lives:• Universal in its message and not
alent in Polish yet:'Giving positiveexamplesof finding limited to homosexuality, she says Hide & Speak
the balance between keeping and hiding secrets, the
is a "life-changing handbook useful for all people
book even provides exercises that "allow readers to
who struggle with secrets and their consequences:'
take self-paced steps toward positive and dynamic
No matter what we hide or the language we read,
self-discovery and freeing oneself from the secret:' Cherry reminds us that "sometimes telling the truth
Initially, Cherry wrote the book because it was is difficult, but living a lie is even harder:' - CM
BEST-KEPT
SECRETS
out there..."
KayMellor',
Strictly
Confidential
" ... presen ts
a COMPLEX
PORTRAYAL
of
BISEXUALITY
stereotypes"
-AFTERELLEN
.com
WHAT'S HOT: Pinup Toilet Seats
Sincethe releaseof The
Notorious
BettiePage,
our
counbyhasbeenpinupcrazy.
Butnothingwascrazierthan
the plethoraof pinupgirl
toiletseatswefoundonthe
Internet.
Thesebeautiful,
buxomandbedazzling
ladies
will besureto helpyoukeep
thelid down.
It doesn'tgetmuchbetter
thanBuckToothMama's
GreenGlitterPinupToiletSeat
($55,bucktoothmama.com).
We
imaginethatthisbikini-clad
redhead,
seductively
glancing
overhershoulder,
would
lookbestin a bathroom
with
a matching
shag
rug.Buckaroo
Mercantile
offers
severalversions
of thequirky
commode
cover,
butweespecially
likethe blueMiss
FlyingSaucer($40,
buckmerc.com).
Not
onlyis sheinexplicably
flyingthroughspacein nothing
buta fishbowlandbikini,but
she'ssurrounded
bygiant
rhinestones.
Purecampy
goodness.
Maybeyoulikethings
classy.Maybeyoulikeart.
Maybeyou'dlike
a classy,artsy
additionto your
lavatoryandare
willingto shell
outfor it. Look
nofurtherthan
Tuesday
Cohen's
hand-painted
take
onthe pinuptrend
($225,rawstyle.com).
This
plushseatis painteda deep
redandfeaturesa hulagirl
surrounded
bycherries.It's
enoughto giveTrump'sgold
thronea runfor its money.
-KASandKP
Linda (Suranne
Jones,Vincen~,an
ex-copturnedsextherapist,
is pulledinto
a worldof fetishand S&M whenher
ex-lover,
Angie(EvaPope,Bad Girls),
seeksheradvice
onasordidmurdercase.
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April 2008
I 19
Advice
Lipstick & Dipstick
Should I Follow My Bliss?
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I've been dating
my girlfriend for a year, and I think she's
really wonderful, but whenever I try to bring
up the future she changes the subject. She's
said things to me when we're in bed like,
"Wouldn't it be nice if we lived together?"
and "You're so good with kids, it makes me
want to have them with you." But when I try
to have a conversation with her about it after
we put our clothes on, she shuts me down.
She doesn't want to talk about it. Also, we
are both 24. Are we too young to get serious?
Should I cut my losses and move on? Or
should I be more patient and try to work this
out? - The Marrying Kind
Dipstick:Yahoo for her. Too many lesbians these
days are rushing off to get married and have
babies. Your situation is very similar to one we deal
with in our book. Follow these fivesimple steps and
the answer will become quite dear to you: 1) Relax.
Put it in perspective. You think she's wonderful and
you're having a good time together. Celebrate that.
2) Talk to her. See if she even realizes that she's giving you mixed messages. 3) Reflect on what she
said. Did it make sense, or did she keep contradicting
herself with a bunch of mumbo jumbo? 4) Talk to
your friends. Is this a pattern for you, falling hard
and fast and wanting to move in too quickly? If it is,
your best gals will be honest with you. 5) Chill. You
can beg and visualize and work all kinds of voodoo
spells, but you can't force someone to commit who
isn't ready to do so. Accepting where she is isjust part
of learning to love her unconditionally. Something
you'll need for a long-term relationship.
Lipstick:
You're so pragmatic, Dipstick. You'vegot a
five-step process for everything. Marrying Kind, it
is possible for you to have a serious relationship at
24 and you should always go after what you want
with abandon (notice I didn't say reckless abandon),
but you must be careful here. I'm talking about with
your heart. I worry that while you're cooing in her
ear about babies and pickets fences, she's scanning
the room for someone with larger boobs or a bigger
bank account (aka someone who's not you). Do you
worry about this, too? The best advice I can give is to
be patient and not push too hard-yet. A year-long
relationship, believe it or not, is still pretty young.
You should keep the lines of communication open,
but don't put unnecessary pressure on the situation.
There will be a time for chat (maybe in a year or so),
but for now, play it cool. If she's anything like me,
she'll be turned off by a beaver that's too eager.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I'm a lesbian in
the Army and I am what they call "on the way
out," which basically means my career with
the military is done. I joined the Army at 22,
so I had a few years of college and life under
my belt. I have big dreams and my goal is to
be a filmmaker. I've worked on a few scripts,
I am an advanced
video editor and my
plan is to move to
Los Angeles. I have
had my fair share
of dramatic relationships in the past and decided
to be totally career-oriented. Then she happened ...We met, we spent time together and
barn-I'm in love. I fit better with her than
anyone I've dated. Of course the problem is
I have these big dreams and can't exactly
chase them if I stay here in Ohio with her.
She is in college with big dreams of her own.
We are both totally taken with each other,
but afraid of getting in the way of the other's
main goal. Do I give it a try or focus totally
on myself? Does it make me selfish if I have
to hurt someone else to live out my dream?
- Talented in Toledo
Lipstick:Who says you can't have it all? Kick chat
notion to the curb. You'll have to figure out logistics
(like how you'll manage a long-distance relationship for a while), but those are just details when it
comes to something as massive as true love. You've
met someone with whom you deeply connect, so
do not choose your career over her. If you do, you'll
end up with a bunch of screen credits, but no one
to share chem with; success is much sweeter when
someone's holding your hand (especially if she's
smokin' hot). And believe me, you can have both.
As for your budding career as a filmmaker: rock
on. After you're done reading CURVE, go to your
computer and pull up POWER UP's website
(power-up.net). Join this dynamic organization
right away.They're all about giving dykes the means
to manifest dreams, while promoting the success of
gay women in entertainment, the arts and media.
Dipstick:Talented lesbian, put that creative brain
to work. You don't have to move to Hollywood to
work on screenwriting and video editing. Lipstick
is working on a movie right now and she lives in
Portland, Ore. Nose around for production companies in Ohio, or buy a camera and start producing
movies of your own and post chem on YouTubeget a buzz going. But if your dreams really are on
Sunset Boulevard, talk your vixen into transferring
to UCLA. Whatever you do, don't sacrifice your
dreams for a girl.
20
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Ask Fairy Butch Advice
I Like Girls Like That
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: Am I a lesbian? I live in Taiwan and have been married almost seven years, unhappily for
the last two, and have been separated
for months. I have had a girlfriend now
going on six months. I've always been
into girls, but I've never acknowledged
it. Now I find myself not even attracted
to men. Could this just be because my
marriage is ending? Will I find myself
attracted to men again? Am I finally
becoming who I've been hiding? Or am
I bi? I'm scared to even say that word,
for my girlfriend is against bisexuals.
She also says it's too risky to be with
one. Help! - Tom in Taipei
Lipstick:Yet another woman who is/ was
married dealing with repressed homo tendencies. Wow, there sure are a lot of you out
there. Dip, maybe this should be our next
book. First, Torn, try and relax. Think Zen
thoughts. If you're following your heart (and
your pussy-sometimes it's the only honest
gauge), you're on the right path. You won't
have answers for some time, so try and find
peace without them. An old Chinese proverb reads: Muddy water let stand will clear.
During the tumultuous times surrounding
my own sexuality years ago, I kept this quote
taped to my dashboard and found great comfort in it. Do the same and trust that one day
the answers will slowly float to the surface.
Dipstick:Lip, let's start working on that
book right away. If we had an electoral vote
for every time we've been asked that question, there'd be a big ol' butch dyke living
in the White House. Are you bi? Are you a
dyke? You're going to have to figure it out for
yourself like the rest of us. As Lipstick says,
take some time, journal, meditate, read coming-out books and get laid. Don't let us tell
you who you are, and don't let your bi-phobic
girlfriend tell you either. Listen up, lesbians:
Bi girls are no more unfaithful than gay gals.
Let 2008 be the year we lesbians stop bi bashing (and trans bashing, too). ■
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Q.
Ask us anythingaboutsex, loveor lesbiansat
lipstickdipstick.com.
Dear Fairy Butch: I'm having a problem with
girls. See, I'm butch. I've gotten a number of
offers, as it seems that butches are in high
demand. Most of the girls that go after me are
sweet, pretty and nice, but they're femmes
and I'm all about butches. I've gotten some
bad reactions; I feel like I'm weird and dysfunctional because of it. I met one other
butch and found out she had a
crush on another butch. She was
quick to defend herself, like,
"Oh, I usually don't like girls
like that..." and she was really
embarrassed. What's wrong
with me? What's wrong with everybody else? There's got to be
someone else out there like me,
except there doesn't seem to be. Thanks for
your help. - Butch on Butch in Baltimore
DearBOB:Darlin: there's nothing wrong with you
that the right attitude and a nice bulldagger with
a plump package and impressive forearms couldn't
fix. It is perfectly fine, regardless of what anyone
says or implies, for butches to go out with other
butches, or femmes with femmes, or androgynous
girls with butches or femmes, or any combination of
genders, for that matter. Now that we've gotten that
vexing morality question out of the way, let's move
on to a discussion of particular issues involved in
butch-on-butch relationships and resources to help
you meet other butches and have successful unions
with them.
Get the word out to mutual friends that you' re
looking, and be specific in personal ads that you're
a butch looking for another butch. Check out
lesbotronic.com; it has a very inclusive policy for
personal ads. As for issues pertinent to BOB relationships, I've talked to BOB fans who like the
feeling of brotherliness, of kinship and of mutual
understanding and camaraderie-not
to mention
the doubled wardrobe. Some unique challenges that
BOB relationships present include dealing with a
perhaps greater sense of competitiveness, getting
recognized by others as a couple and resolving conflicts over chivalry: Who opens the restaurant door
for whom? Who opens the car door for whom? and
the like.
If you're interested in reading some stories about
BOB sex, check out Set in Stone: Butch-On-Butch
Erotica, edited by Angela Brown. Lesbian daddies
and bois and butch-on-butch adventure can be found
at bdsmlife.net/LdbOnline. Finally, there's a wonderful site specifically for "butch lesbians, transmen,
trannyfags, genderqueers, daddies and boys who are
interested in the same'' at strapdivision.com.
Best of luck to you, my dear, on your
quest for butch-on-butch satiation.
Dear Fairy Butch: My wife
and I were invited to our
gay friend's home for
a Green Bay Packers
game. Our friend lives
with her mother, and at
this time I was not aware
that her mother was completely oblivious to her sexual
preferences. The day of the party,
we received a call from our friend asking us
not to wear our wedding bands, because she
did not want her mom offended. She said
that we needed to respect her mom and her
home. Well, you can imagine how I reacted.
Offended? Respect? I explained to her that
she was in fact offending us by asking us to
remove something representing so much to
us both. I understand comfort levels, and it
is each individual's right to "come out" when
they feel comfortable, and who am I to force
the issue, but don't ask me to go back into
a closet after years of working my way out.
Was I wrong? - Gay in Green Bay
DearGreenBay:Wrong? Absolutely not. Regardless
of whether or not your friend is in the closet and not
out to her mother, you are not required to jump back
in because she's afraid that the way you're living your
life will make someone else uncomfortable. It is, however, a good thing that she communicated her point
before you showed up at her house, rings on and
French onion dip in hand. Frankly, I think that your
friend is going to have to work on corning out, or at
least being comfortable with people around her being
out, if she wants to continue being an integral part
of you and your wife's lives at this time. It's a shame
to lose a friend, for good or temporarily, but it's even
worse to swallow up who you are to make someone
else feel at ease. ■
EmailJb@fairybutch.comwith your queriesregarding
lesbianlife,sexualityand romance.
April 2008 j 21
Advice
Astro Grrl
A Career in Bloom
You are Aries (March 21-April 20)
Sex: You won't have to do anything except be your adorable sel£
bold, and the ladies will flock to you. Rams know how t~ control the
herd this April! Career:
You are bold, brash and beautiful at work.
brashand Or maybe we are confusing you with someone in another cubicle?
beautifulat Taurus (April 21-May 21}
work, Aries. Sex: You have a secret admirer. Will or won't she reveal herself
in April? Wear something revealing and see if she reciprocates.
Or maybe Career:Try to maneuver behind the scenes at work. Enlist the
help of a well,placed executive. She will give you a helping hand
we are wherever you need it. Ahem.
confusing Gemini (May 22-June 21}
you with Sex: There is a certain gal pal who yearns to be a lovergrrl. You
know her. Will you allow her co gee to know you better? Career:
someone Perhaps this is the time to set up a new business. Offer to handle
the paper,pushing and the long lunches.
in another
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
cubicle? Sex:
Will you heat up your office space with a little after,hours
romance? April brings on many different romantic possibilities.
Hey, but what about May and June? Career:Crabs will have
some great ideas to share on the job. Be sure chat you get the
credit you deserve. Accually, make it cash.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Sex: Archers sure know how to parry chis April. Don't sit back
and wait for it to come to you. Make the scene, chew the seen,
ery and be "scene:• Career:If you treat your job like fun and
games, it may be more palatable and delightful. Or maybe not.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Sex: Don't sic at home this April. Lionesses do their best work
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
from a distance. OK, so how about Europe? Career: or only
can you expand the range of your responsibilities, you can also
create the work schedule that you want. Hurry before they chain
you to your desk again.
Sex: Will you be the life of the parry or the death of it? Better
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
do the entertaining yourself this April. No one does it better ...
when there is an open bar involved. Career:Have you ever con,
sidered working from home? April may be the month to take
the plunge, but just be sure that you have enough water in chat
particular pool to swim the distance.
Sex: What is it about you chis April that drives the women era,
zy? I don't know, but try to bottle it and save a little for the dry
spells. Career:
You have a vivid imagination. What scenarios will
you conjure up at the job? How about the one where you're do,
ing a little work now and then?
Libra (Sept. 24-0ct. 23)
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19}
Sex: Less talk and more action will get you where you want to
go romantically. Tell her what is on your mind and see if she
is of like mind. Career:Pushing your opinion on co,workers
may not convince chem, but it will sure make you feel better.
Unfortunately, chis too shall pass.
Sex: Relationships heat up to a boil. Do you like your eggs poached,
scrambled or sunny side up? Cook'em by the dozens! Career:
You
can find the perfect business partner if you don't mind starting the
discussion now. One thing can lead to another ... and another.
Sex: They love you at work. Maybe even a little too much. Know
progresses. Maybe chat is because you are too exacting? Or
maybe you are setting your sights coo low. Career:
You can ag,
gressively go out and make some money chis April. The secret is
to save some of it for a rainy day. Err ...do I feel a drop? ■
when to say when. Or at least ask for a raise. Career:Planning
your work project schedule can keep you from going astray and
wasting time; however, procrastination can also work.
For more advicefrom the stars, visit our astrologer,Charlene
Lichtenstein,online at thestarryeye.com.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
221
curve
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
Sex: Your idea of the perfect woman may change as the month
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Dyke Drama
Michele Fisher
M M M My Corona
Trying to solve the mystery of automobiles and bisexual girls.
When we kissed that first time, I was glad I wasn't standing because I couldn't
have stayed on my feet. Every part of me was involved in that kiss. Every fiber
of me was devoted to that experience. Swooning had seemed like a ridiculous
concept until that day.
This issue has me thinking of my first car, a metallic blue Toyota Corona,
Cara, the first girl I ever wooed successfully in that magic automobile, and the
reason I bought fake fur seat covers for it. (They weren't just for looks.)
Cara was my first girlfriend, but I bet she wouldn't admit it if you asked
Unless you are ridiculously lucky, your first lesbian experiences are likely
to be with women who do not classify themselves as homosexuals. Consider
yourself fortunate if they admit to bisexuality, which at least is meeting you
halfway.
Everybody is "bisexual" before they come out; it is a rite of homosexual
passage-which is unfair to actual bisexuals because all of the gay,but,can't,
admit,it,yet fakers assume that since they are pretending, every other bisexual
is as well. Unfortunately, some of us homos are as clueless as the straight world
when it comes to seeing bisexuality as a destination rather than a rest stop.
How do I know? Because I was one of those little buttholes.
I suppose I was just mad at girls like Cara.
In any case, it was Cara who made a lesbian out of me, not that she would
want the credit for that. After I had been with her, men were erased from my
menu, and thus ended my brief career as a bisexual. I think I had the exact
opposite effect on her.
Cara and I met at work, at our after,school job in the mall. We were the ste,
reotypical Breakfast Club,type couple. She was a busty, giggly Catholic,school
girl, and I was the sarcastic stoner product of a blue,collar, public,school edu,
cation. She got good grades and did everything her parents wanted her to do,
and I smoked cigarettes and drank sloe gin out of the bottle-classy, right? I
was the bad influence, and I took my role to the point of caricature.
After closing time at the mall, we would sit in my car and smoke cigarettes
(I was hoping that smoking wasn't the only habit she would pick up from me),
listen to the radio and talk about how stupid it was in suburbia and how we
couldn't wait to get away from this place. I had the feeling she liked me, and I
definitely wanted her, but I wasn't going to make the first move. I really didn't
know what the first move was, so I couldn't very well make it. Consequently,
we spent a lot of time that spring of our senior year riding around in a car full
of cigarette smoke and sexual tension.
It turned out that she had a better plan than I did for getting away from
suburbia. She earned scholarships and applied to colleges. My big plan was to
move to Los Angeles, go to a community college, get another crappy mall job
down there and drink blue alcoholic beverages. We both ended up achieving
her. My first real girlfriend was Jessie, but she didn't enter the picture until a
few years after Cara and the Corona were long gone. "Real girlfriend" means
that both Jessie and I agreed that we were in a relationship; that part of that
relationship included sex; that we didn't have to be drunk or high to have the
sex; and that the sex did mean that we were lezzies, or something like that.
Cara, on the other hand, was the first of many supposedly straight girls
who just happened to find me irresistible early on in my lesbian career. It is
really flattering to have a straight girl interested in you, the first five times it
happens.
24 Icurve
our goals.
News of her acceptance to a college half a state away gave our romance the
boost that it needed to get underway.
One May evening, after a late,night snack of Boone's Farm and nachos,
consumed off my furry dashboard, she confessed that she was attracted to me.
I pretended to be shocked and confused and mumbled some drivel about the
importance of our friendship, just to make sure she really wanted me. But then
I chickened out when I realized I might talk her out of the moment I had been
living for all those months. I quickly leaned across the car so we could finally
kiss.
Like I said before, it was the moment that all other moments would follow.
I wanted to do it again and again. And so we did. I wanted more, a lot more,
but it was late and she was straight!
Which is why we were never allowed to talk about what we were doing.
When I attempted to discuss "us" she became silent or angry. We were not
gay, she told me. She liked boys, she kept reminding me. We were just really
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close friends. Everybody had bisexual tendencies. Our philosophies differed,
but I kept my mouth shut and kept getting my fixof her. I knew I would win
her over in time.
By the Fourth of July, we had passed third base and were sliding into home
fairly regularly in Coronaville. I had mastered where to park and what not to
say,and all was rosy and slick. I knew she was leaving in September, but we had
two months. I was in love, and we had plenty of time to figure things out.
By August, however, our friends and her family were starting to ask questions about our relationship. Her dad had already told her that he thought I
was one of those "lessbeens:• Cara was getting scared, and her fear ran right
When it was obvious that my moping was not going to convince her to stay
with me, I became sullen and angry.
It's hard to imagine how a woman could resist a lover who alternated between depression and rage, but Cara managed.
I wish I could tell you that she went off to school and I just got over it,
though those two things did happen eventually. After she left, I didn't hear
from her for a couple of weeks, which felt like 50 years. She sent me a stupid
postcard with a picture of her college mascot on the front of it and a couple
of lines about how hard school was and how busy she had been. She signed it
not with "love"-but with "hugs:•At least it was something, I thought I convinced
through me. She thought we should hang out with other people and be seen
more in public. What could I do:' We had so little time left, but she wasterrified. So we went to boring-ass beach parties and keggers-even went on
a double date with two guys. (That went really well.) We still had our moments, parked out in some remote corner of the county, but they were shorter
and sweeter. By the end of summer, everybody was convinced that she and I
had a perfectly normal friendship. I think she even convinced hersel£
As Labor Day loomed, I freaked out. I wanted to go with her to college. I
wouldn't make it in suburbia without her. Couldn't she postpone school for a
year until we could go somewhere together:' I pleaded. I begged. I pouted.
She said she couldn't bear to be without me either, but she also said she had
to go. She promised she would write often. Most women would have taken the
hint, but not me. I was in love and desperate to keep that romance alive.
myself that an unannounced visit to her school would be the perfect thing to
make her realize that she was miserable without me. We would be reu_nited,
and it would feel so good.
I drove for hours, and then I stood in front of her dorm. In the dark. For
another hour. Waiting for her. When she and her new friends finally showed
up, she gave me a less-than-warm welcome. She excused herself from the
group and asked me where I had parked. I pointed in the direction of my car.
She began walking me briskly toward it, all the while chastising me for embarrassing her and imploring me to get over our "friendship;' to move on with my
life without her.
At the first gas stop, I threw my seat covers in a trash can.
Bisexuality and automobiles. Come to think of it, I don't know anything
about either one. ■
April 2008
I 25
Politics
VictoriaA. Brownworth
Time for Renewal
Bring back the feminist revolution.
Spring gets me hopeful-I am a sucker for the budding trees and the hosts of
golden daffodils. Spring makes me think of new beginnings, even out of the
barrenness of winter. Spring makes me think we can remake the world.
I am a feminist. Not apologetically, under my breath. I believe that the
single most important civil rights movement of the 20th century was feminism. But then, I live in the United States, where women have a great deal of
freedom. I never cease to be grateful for the fact that I was born here. Being
born female in the majority of the world is a very, very bad thing. That is, if
you get to be born at all. Sex-selection abortion, for example, is rampant
throughout Asia and the Asian subcontinent.
From July through the end of December, my niece-she's 20 and a college
sophomore-was living, working and attending college in Egypt. She worked
for a nongovernmental organization in Palestine, which, as a young Jewish
woman who spent some of her childhood living in Israel and who has family
there, was an act of love as well as a dramatic commentary on her belief in
peace and her commitment to making the world a better place.
My niece returned to the States just before New Year's, her many months
abroad a life-altering blueprint for her future. We talked while she was
visiting the family for a few days, and the picture of her time in a dictatorship where women are chattel was as enlightening as it was maddening and
heartbreaking.
One night we sat talking. My niece has long, wavy brown hair, large, luminous eyes and perfect skin. She's petite, but curvy, almost breathtakingly
beautiful, with an easy wit and sharp intelligence to match. She is a formidable
young woman, remarkably fearless, and wears the privilege that comes with
being born female in the United Scates; she will not be made second-class.
But according to her firsthand reports, there was never a day in Cairo or
its outskirts when she was not the victim of demeaning and damaging sexual
predation. She was angered and repulsed by the constant assaults-verbal
and physical-but in no way cowed by them. As she noted, a tone of surprising bitterness in her voice,'i\t least I always knew I was coming home:'
In a very different, quiet voice, she added, "But as I traveled outside of
Cairo, it was so hard knowing that all around me were women who were
victims of FGM [female genital mutilation)."
We were eating dinner. le was not what my mother would have called
"polite" conversation, but then the realities of the lives that many women and
girls are forced to lead in this world have little to do with politeness.
Readers of this column know I am a survivor of rape. Once at 17 and
again a few years ago.
When my niece was sending me reports about the plight of women in
Egypt, I had a brutal exchange with an acquaintance in Libya. My Libyan
friend is American by birth, but has lived abroad most of her adult life with
her husband, largely in the Middle East and France. I had sent her a piece I
wrote about the Saudi Arabian woman-same age as my niece-who had
been gang raped when she was pulled from a car she had been sitting in with
a man who was not her relative.
After the gang rape, the men were given sentences of 10 months to five
years. But the victim was sentenced to 90 lashes for getting into a car with
an unrelated man, it is prohibited under Islamic law. When she protested,
26
I curve
Springis the time of renewal-of the
earth and of ourselves.So let us, as
women, as girls,pledgeourselvesto the
renewalof the eternalfeminine,the spirit
of all women that liveswithinus.
the judges increased her sentence to 200 lashes and six months in prison for
daring to challenge the initial ruling and for drawing media attention to her
case. She was eventually pardoned after intense international protest of the
ruling.
I was outraged by this case and wrote about the perils of theocracy for
women worldwide. My friend in Libya was appalled by my "insensitivity
and disrespect" for Islamic law. I told her I would be equally outraged had
this occurred in a Christian theocracy-except there haven't been any for
centuries.
She then told me that if the woman hadn't gotten into a car with strange
man, she wouldn't have been raped. So although the penalty seemed harsh
from my "Western perspective;' it was for the woman's own protection.
This Month at Curvemag.com
I am no longer friends with this woman. Not after this incident in which
she also chided me for the "infantilism of feminism:'
Feminism made blaming the victim declasse. I will not be blamed for being
raped, nor should any woman be blamed for crimes against her humanity.
Several years ago, I interviewed Pratibha Parmar. The director was born
in Nairobi of Indian descent, but grew up mostly in the United Kingdom.
She did a film on FGM with African American writer Alice Walker. Parmar
told me in one conversation how terrible it was for her as a lesbian to think of
having her clitoris ripped out and how she had suffered emotionally during
the filming of Warrior Marks.
Walker noted that FGM was one of the most murderous acts against
women and girls, and disguising it in the rubric of"culture" or ethnicity didn't
lessen the stunning violence of it. Which brings me back
to spring and the atmosphere of renewal. We need to re,
embrace feminism. Not just as a relic of the past, but as a
Belinda Carlisle & The Go-Go's: Just in time for Girl
Bar Dinah Shore, we catch up with the reunited GoGo's and chanteuse Belinda Carlisle in this
exclusive online interview, where she dishes
about her lesbian fans, her latest album and
her relationship with the Go-Go's. Carlisle
will be performing solo at Girl Bar's April 4
Pure White party at Hotel Zozo. Then she
and the Go-Go's will reunite on April 5 for
the Mardi Gras Masquerade at the Palm
Springs Convention Center for an unprecedented show in front of their first lesbian
audience. (Booking tickets? Try
dinahshoreweekend.com for
more info.)
revolutionary movement of the 21st century. You may not
be a victim of violence against women, per se. You may never
Michelle Fleury Talks Back:
The Curl Girls queen of the
long board dishes it all in this
up-close and personal interview with Colleen M. Lee.
have been raped or hit or threatened by a man. But our en,
tire culture-and
the world as a whole-codifies women,
hating. Violence is its most immediate reflection.
My niece, thankfully, was never attacked beyond being
grabbed at or verbally assaulted by men in Egypt. But in that
culture, the lives of women and girls have little value. They exist solely for the
pleasure of men and for procreation. They have no other function. They are
sexually mutilated to "protect" them from their own sexuality and to keep
them "pure" for their husbands. The Quran is given as the rationale for this,
Shot at Love: Where Are They Now? Want to find
out more about Tila Tequila and the red hot queer girls
of MTV's Shot at Love? We've got more with Ashli,
Vanessa, Amanda and Brandi.
but there is no FGM in the Quran. It is an invention of Sharia law.
Egyptian feminists are working now to get FGM outlawed. But they face
a bitter fight against tradition and against their second,class status.
I will always be a survivor of rape, but I did indeed survive. Although I was
sexually mutilated in both attacks, I healed, intact.
In the time it has taken you to read this column, women and girls through,
out Asia, Africa and the Middle East-as well as in Europe and the United
States-have
become victims of FGM. Throughout the world, women and
girls are being raped. Throughout the world, women and girls are being taught
that they are less than men and boys. Throughout the world, the revolution of
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feminism has yet to take root, bud and bring forth equality .
This spring, I would urge every woman and girl who reads this to spread
and girls-as well as men and boys. That feminism will alter the planet,
where rape is not even a crime in over 40 nations, where FGM is practiced
daily, where being female is reason to be aborted or left to die as an infant on
a roadside.
Spring is the time of renewal-of the earth and of ourselves. So let us, as
women, as girls, pledge ourselves to the renewal of the eternal feminine, the
spirit of all women that lives within us. And let us work to make feminism a
revolution that will save the lives of women and girls across the universe and
,
beyond. ■
I
0
updates, trivia and outtakes from our cover
story with Dani Campbell.
The MTV superstar who
stole our hearts is also
appearing at The Dinah
this month
(thedinah.com).
the word that the revolution is not over, but is just beginning, and has never
been more necessary. That feminism will revolutionize the lives of women
z
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en
Even More Dani
Campbell: Find party
April 2008
I27
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ru1se
I
Lesbian visitors will find a Detroit that's shifted gears into the
21st century. By Colleen M. Lee
Carmona passionately points out that
Woodward Avenue includes "the birthplace
of the automobile, where Henry Ford drew
the first car in his secret room, the first
modem auto assembly line, [and] the
message fit Detroit's image of a gntty and hungry city that didn't cater to
Piquette factory, which was the first car
outsiders. When I returned recently to visit, I expected to encounter more
factory in the world offering the $5-a-day
workday. It also is the location of the first
of the same attitude and a Detroit devoid of restoration, new business and
electric traffic light, and it was the first urban
friendly people-an isolated and abandoned urban wasteland doomed to
freeway to exist:' Take that, Los Angeles.
die a slow and sad death.
Cars are great, but with my interest in
green
solutions, I wondered, What if someInstead, I saw that the once culturally and financially starved Motor
one doesn't own a car? Carmona had the
City is making its way back. Don't get me wrong: Detroit still has an edge to
answer. 'There is a great push to make the
it, but the old rusty one has been replaced by the tailfin of a 1969 Cadillac
avenue more pedestrian-friendly and to
create
an elevated bike trait:' An ambitious
Eldorado-sleek, smooth and ready to hit 80 mph. Even better: It's surfeat, given the car culture in Detroit.
prisingly gay-friendly.
If you tire of all things auto, there are
plenty of other sights to see on or just off
Forcar Nuts:BottDownWoodward
Avenue-DayOne
Woodward: the only Frank Lloyd Wright house in Michigan,
Growing up in Detroit, autos are in your blood, and this girl Tech Town, five major museums, Wayne State University and
is no exception. I love cars; so when planning my visit, I had to
the Detroit Zoo (visitdetroit.com).
make sure I got in plenty of autos, plenty of history and, I was
Enterthe Slots-Day Two
hoping, a few Detroit curies to show me around. Luckily, I got
Detroit delights (clockall
three.
You
can't separate me from cars or the slots when I visit Detroit.
wise from top left):
Iridescence offers fine
I met my first guide, Heather Carmona, the executive This time was no exception. If you're a gambler, the city has
dining; the MotorCity
director of the Woodward Avenue Action Association, for three casinos-MotorCity, Greektown and the new $800 million
Casino and Hotel lights
up the night; visitors
breakfast. After oatmeal and a few cups of joe, we hopped in MGM. Satisfying your vice doesn't have to be a chick-and caradmire Diego Rivera's
her SUV and headed on our historical tour of Woodward
free experience. 'The MotorCity Casino and Hotel is the only
mural at the DIA;
historic Woodward
Avenue-a 27-mile stretch of road that runs from down100-percent female-owned [casino] in the country, plus it's run
Avenue, birthplace of the
town
Detroit
(look
out
for
the
gigantic
Joe
Louis
fist
sculpby
a woman COO;' explains cute guide No. 2,Jennifer Kulczycki,
automobile; a sculpture
outside Cranbrook
ture) to the Pontiac GM plant. For the lesbian autophile,
who admittedly is biased becaue s~e's the media and community
Academy; the Orpheus
relations manager of the MotorCity casino. If that isn't enough
this is the only street to travel-it offers everything car and
Fountain, Cranbrook
Art Museum
everything gay.
to-entice you to place those quarters in their machines, I dare say
In the '80s and '90s, T-shirts in my hometown welcomed visitors with
the words "Detroit: Where the Weak Are Killed and Eaten." Not"the warm,
fuzzy greeting visitors come to expect when they're on vacation, but the
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it's the only casino with flame-patterned carpets throughout, and
every detail celebrates Detroit and its auto culture.
After my day of touring all three casinos, I sat down to a
delicious dinner at Iridescence (think meat), and later a gin and
tonic from the bar led to a chat with some sporty girls at the
roulette table (and I finally won back the 200 bucks that I'd
lost that morning). At 4 a.m. I hit the pillow at the high-tech
MotorCity Hotel to get a few hours of much-needed shut-eye
before my day of gentility.
Museums,LeamingandCulture-DayTbree
My third and final day was going to be jam-packed-a half day
at the Detroit Institute of Arts and a half day at the Cranbrook
Academy of Art. I like to overwhelm myself with history and
culture after a big night of gin, gambling and girls-this day
would be no exception.
Enter guide No. 3, Nii 0. Quarcooppome, the curator of
African Art at the DIA (dia.org), and although we Wtre both
pleasantly surprised that we knew each other through mutual
lesbian friends when I lived in Detroit, Quarcooppome's main
focus was to tell me "what the DIA, after a $158 million renovation, had to offer the visitor." o luck getting in some girl talk
with an old friend, but I was here to learn.
There is so much to highlight during my DIA tour, but two
items are definitdy worth mentioning: the mural tribute to Detroit
industry by Diego Rivera (considered the most successful work
of his career and almost lost due to Rivera's communist lean-
Even if you're not into autos or gambling, visit
Michigan before or after the Womyn's Music
Festival. There are plenty of lesbianic things to
do in metro Detroit-in fact, this Midwestern
city offers everything lady travelers want and
need away from home.
leslliallligllldllbsl'B
SOHOadtlle RalRbowlloalll
Wondering where to get your gir1on? Try
SOHO, a hot, new gay club where Saturday
is gir1s' night and lots of sexy young urbanites
are dressed to impress. The Rainbow Room,
a lesbian institution in Detroit, is on Eight Mile
{think Eminem), the street where this writer
had her first taste of gir1bars over 17 years
ago. If you can handle the cigarette smoke,
the Rainbow Room delivers. Dance the night
away with a Detroit cutie you'll meet ordering
a gin and tonic at the bar. so ofem ale.com,
club ainbowroom.com
Ealllries Anion Baury and PralllD!
There are plenty of gay-friendly restaurants
in the metro Detroit area, but Avalon Bakery
and Pronto! are the can't-miss places to chow
30
Icurve
ings) and the integration of high-tech with antiquated displays.
"People want interaction,n Quarcooppome points out. "They
want their experience to be less stuffy and a bit more hands-on."
The DIA is the first museum to weave the old with the new
subtly and successfully with its virtual dining and drinking
interpretations and PDA multi media tours.
After a few hours of wandering inside a museum, I drove
down Woodward to meet my fourth and final guide, Liz
Lent, the communications manager at Cranbrook Academy
of Art (cranbrook.edu). After a lunch of chicken chutney
quesadillas, Lent and I headed to the beautiful grounds of
Cranbrook, and although it was a very cold and icy Michigan
winter day, the campus was no less incredible, with its sculptures,
gardens, landscaping and fountains. While we walked, Lent
showed me the most popular places to tie the knot-they've
even played host to same-sex ceremonies. The academy also
hosts a tightly guarded and prolific archive of historical artifacts,
which I am happy to report I got to see on a spur-of-the-moment tour.
HeadingBackto SF
When I le& Cranbrook and realized that my trip to Detroit
was over, a wave of sadness swept me. This visit had been like
no other-maybe because I was willing to see Detroit from the
point of view of a tourist, or maybe because Detroit is on the
fast track to being a cool place to vacation, with autos, history,
good food, fair slot machines and definitdy cute tour guides. ■
down. Avalon, opened by partners Jackie
Victor and Ann Perrault, has paved the way for
lesbian-owned businesses in Detroit proper for
over 10 years, with big, delicious and most of
all affordable baked goods. Pronto! provides
the hungry lez a menu of over 40 sammies to
choose from. And, after you're finished with
lunch, walk next door to Pronto!'s very gay bar
and sip on a martini in the garden.
ores
a com
Bookstore/Coffaeshop-Just
4 Us
Although the only lesbian bookstore in the area
closed its doors a few years ago, Just 4 Us is
the place to go for the gay coffeehound and
bookworm. During my visit, the store was sold
out of the latest issue of CURVE,so you know this
place is lesbian central. jus 4
.co
Place ID Hang-Afflnnatio Ui8T r.ntar
The $5.8 million, four-story structure opened in
2007 and is a must-see. Equipped with a full
studio for yoga, ballroom dancing, art exhibits
and movie night, as well as a computer lab, a
library, and a teen recreation and art room, the
center offers an average of 96 different activities
a month, with outreach to communities like seniors, Arab Americans and transgender youth.
goaffirma •ons.org
Pride MolorCityPride
Ferndale is Detroit's close neighbor and the
area's gay mecca. It hosts Detroit's Pride
festival-with events like Motor City Pride Idol,
a film festival, and commitment ceremonies at
City Hall-and has an openly gay mayor, Craig
Covey. Be sure to join the Pride fun on June 1.
motorcitypride.com
Resources,
Onll11 Betweenthe
lines andWomenOUtandAbout
Between the Unes, Michigan's LGBT weekly
newspaper, has lots for the boys, but gives
us gir1ssome attention too. It features news,
opinions, movie and music reviews, advice,
horoscopes and an interesting column called
"Creep of the Week.n WomenOutandAbout.com,
a social network for Michigan lesbians, provides a list of groups, events and humanitarian
opportunities. prideso rce.com,
womenoutandabout.com
Sure,
MTV's
newest
superstar is
America's
first lesbian
girl next
door, but
that doesn't
mean she
isn't also a
smokin'hot
mack daddy.
•
By Diane
Anderson-Minshall
Photography
by Melissa
Rodwell
Makeup by
Paula Queseda
America loves reality television, but when MTV's Shot at Love premiered, giving
viewers the first bisexual reality dating show, well, shock and awe was a more apt
description of their response. Each week as Tila Tequila, a woman whose claim to
fame was being the No. 1 girl on MySpace, put a host of girls and guys through
rather degrading tests like pudding wrestling and bull testicle eating, lesbians were
alternately compelled and repelled. Either way we were glued to the set. Clearly, we
were rooting for the girls-after all, MTV had split the show up by gender (lesbians
vs. the boys )-but within a few episodes it was clear we were rooting for one girl:
firefighter Dani Campbell.
A sweetly soft butch (who uses the word"futch" to describe herself), Dani is the
country's first lesbian girl next door. Everyone from little girls to middle-aged men to
aging grandmothers adore her. Even her own grandmother, Pat, who died after the
show aired but is forever immortalized for getting a lap dance from Tequila, was a
fan. "Grandma had the best couple of months after the show;' she says.'J\11she would
talk about was the show and how she couldn't believe that so many people liked her.
She cried with joy when she talked about some of her fans:'
No fan base is more fiercely devoted, of course, than lesbians. After the finale, in
which Tequila chose Bobby, a boy from Boston, over Dani, we were ready to pull her
into a warm embrace known as lesbocelebrityhood. No need, though, as Dani was
already a superstar. Today, Dani plays up her suave side for CURVE ( think big car, fat
stogie and a fly suit) but remains the girl everyone wants to love.
I've watched the show from the beginning, half fascinated and half
repelled. Did you watch it in playback, while it was airing?
Yeah, that's the first time I see it too, every time it comes on Tuesday night.
Has watching it play changed your feelings about the experience for you?
No, it didn't really change. It was just fun to see how everyone's character played out,
you know? Just to see how it plays on TV. It didn't change the experience, but it
kind of brought it together. It turned it into a story, so that was pretty cool.
The butch phobia that was happening at the beginning of the show so
perfectly represents what we actually see In our culture. I was wondering,
how much of that did you feel? How was that experience for you?
I train myself When I first came out as gay, it wasn't as comfortable-I wasn't as
comfortable as I am now. So, when I meet new people-and some people tend to
judge right off the bat-I'm just used to that. I'm just used to people being like "Oh,
what are you, a lesbiant It's okay, because I know once this person learns a little
bit more about [lesbians] ... once they get to know you and see what you are and
you're just a regular person ... all those stereotypes are broken. They don't judge
anymore. They don't judge as much as they did in the beginning. It got different
toward the end.
April 2008
I33
It was kind of interesting in those situations where the
guys would treat you like "one of the guys" and the girls
would treat you like "one of the guys."
Yeah, yeah, yeah [laughs].That's usually how it works.
Initially, Tila said, "I don't know about dating a girl who
doesn't wear high heels and makeup." But by the end of
the series she was saying that you were the best of both
worlds.
And that just goes to breaking down stereotypes, you know?
Tila was basing it off of what she sees about somebody, but
then she realized it's a combination, mentally and physically.
I broke lots of stereotypes about butchier lesbians.
When you were going into the final decision, how were
you feeling at that point?
I was feeling good. I was always confident during all of the
eliminations just because I felt like I had a lot to offer and
I felt the connection that Tila and I had even though the
cameras weren't always on us. We had a different connection
than anyone else did. I just had that confidence, and it just
kept me there until the end. When it was just Bobby and I
left, there was a 50~50 chance. Either I was going to get it or
I wasn't. I knew it was one or the other. At that point there
were only two options.
I love how absolutely outraged fans still seem to be that
Tila chose Bobby over you. At this point, how do you feel
about her decision?
I have to respect her for her decision. Do I think it was the right
one? No. I think Tila picked Bobby thinking that I was too
"settled" in my life. You know, a good job, a tubby dog, a
house, blah, blah, blah. She obviously didn't spend enough
time really getting to know me. I like to live by the seat of
my pants. I love traveling and getting into all sorts of crazy
fun. She said she thought my life was settled? I like to think
of it as stable.
I think a lot of lesbians were shocked. Were you crushed?
I was totally blindsided by the ending. Even Bobby was in shock.
We both thought Tila was going to pick me. I wasn't crushed
though. I was sad, but I wasn't crazy in love or anything. I try
to approach every obstacle I face with optimism. I believe
that if you're in a relationship with someone and they don't
choose to be with you, then you should walk away with
your head held high and let go. You can't make someone feel
something they don't. No ·need making yourself unhappy
trying. Instead, spend time with yourself and begin the
healing process. That's what I do.
Did you feel foolish for pouring your heart into it and
then getting rejected on national TV?
I had absolutely no regrets about this show. I chose to be on
TV, so I knew what could happen. My dirty laundry out for
everyone to see. Whatever. I don't see it as being rejected. I
know she had a tough decision to make. It's like picking your
favorite dessert, molten chocolate cake, or tiramisu. You like
both, but you can only have one.
You couldn't talk with anyone about it. How did you cope?
I like to believe that I'm a pretty headstrong kid. I like to say
"kid'"cause I'm getting up there. I used to have this thing as
34
Icurve
a child where I wouldn't talk to anyone about my problems.
That led me to do a lot of problem~solving mysel£ As I got
older and wiser I learned that talking to people is much
healthier. Unfortunately, I signed a huge contract stating
I wouldn't open my mouth to anyone until the end of the
show, or I would be working for MTV until I was 127. It
was pretty difficult at first, but it actually became a little fun
teasing my friends every time the show would come on. It
was doubly difficult because I couldn't date either. Oh, the
price we pay for love.
When they announced that they had broken up, was a
part of you vindicated?-Did you secretly think, yeah, that
wouldn't have happened if you had picked me?
I was a little shocked that it happened so quickly. It just seemed
strange to me. One minute Tila is in love and the next, she
has another show already. Whoa. I know I said earlier to
move on if someone doesn't like you, but geez, that's fast,
Tila! Sorry, Bobby.
There have been a lot of debates over this. Why do you
think Tlla picked Bobby?
Bobby was a really sweet guy. There was this childish innocence
to everything that was new to him, and that happened
to be a lot. Like sushi, for example; he hadn't eaten sushi
ever before this show. I eat sushi every day so I guess that's
why that sounds absurd to me, but Tila found things like
that endearing. Whatever. It seems she enjoyed the fact that
Bobby was this big kid that she could show the world to. I
guess he's like that for a reason though, because look what
happened when it came time to deal with her "crazy"lifestyle.
Poor Bobby ate all that bull cock and balls for nothing.
There was a lot of debate off-screen about how real
the show was, which happens with all of these dating
shows. How real was it to you? Was It an act for you or
were you living your emotions the way that they seem
on the screen?
When I got there you can see how I've changed, as a viewer. You
know at the beginning I wasn't trying to be all out there,
making myself look crazy, trying to get attention. It wasn't
there for me in the beginning. It was like, I don't really mind,
whatever. I don't really care if you pick me. And then once
I got to know her, I started changing my ways. I moved in,
I put a kiss on her on the camping trip. I just stepped it up
a little bit because I realized I really did like her. So, it's not
scripted. Everybody thinks it is, but it's really not. More or
less, the producers are just coaching us, like, stay on track.
They know what the viewers want to see.
Were there people who you think played a little bit
differently on TV than they did in real life?
No. Everything that you saw was the way it was. I mean people
were as crazy as it looks.
What was yo~r hope going on this show? Initially, what
were you thinking?
Initially, I was thinking, 'i\.ll right, I'm just going to go there
and have a great time;' like it was going to be a big party.
You know, I'm living in a house with a bunch of women, so
whoo~hoo. And then it ended up being more than that. I
y
tied'
djob,
said
ttled:
le:'--,
April 2008
I35
actually liked the girl.
Tell me about being Inside the house, was there more
camaraderie or conflict between you and the other contestants. What was the environment like for you girls?
When we first got there, we were all discussing, "OK will we all
get bunks, how will we sleept and we are thinking we would
get our own bed, or maybe even two to a bed. And then we
get up there and we see this huge bed and we are like, "Oh,
my God:' So that was an obstacle. It wasn't bad for me, I
mean I don't care that much. To be in a bed with all those
people, that didn't bother me. I kind of paired up with the
girls. The girls would kind of sleep together to keep the guys
away from us. We all shared bathrooms and showers, but we
all got along fairly well, considering.
That's interesting, because viewers see scenarios on the
screen, like Ashley having a tantrum after he got sent
packing, and we wonder how much of that happened off
screen as well.
Yeah, these were the high moments, the height of all the drama.
That makes good TV. But for the most part we all really got
along. We were just there and drinking and having a blast in
the pool. The only thing-the Brandi and Vanessa thingthey were always bickering away. That was just a continuous
animosity between those two.
Now that you're famous, do you still have time to date?
Do you have a new girlfriend? Or a girl in every port?
My schedule is super crazy these days, from the fire station, my
36
I curve
clothing line, Futch Apparel, my tubby dog Titan, my house,
my family, my friends, my appearances all around the country, my college tours, interviews, but after all that, believe it
or not, I still have time to date. Not a girl in every port, but
one at home.
How are you going to parlay your 15 minutes of fame?
What are you doing with this experience?
I am trying to become more involved in community efforts,
through HRC and our fight for equality and rights. It seems
like I have a huge 11- to 18-year-old following and they just
have a lot of questions. So if I could do some mentoring, that
would be great-just to talk to kids and help them with all of
their troubles and coming out. And also, educating our community that we need to vote more and we need to become
more involved politically to get the rights that we deserve, that
we should have been born with. I don't need the fame to be
involved in something like that, that's just something I'll be
doing now. But also, I'm launching a new clothing line, Futch
Apparel (myspace.com/ 12nerd], and this is always something
I've wanted to do because I have such a horrible time finding
clothes. So, I'm trying to make my own clothing line with a
whole completely new set of sizes, like for people in between,
not femme, not butch, but"futch:' And I don't want to corner
myself just marketing to women either. It's for women and
men-it's a different size, a more unisex size.
Are you In the beginning stages with that?
Embryonic. It's just getting off the ground. I trademarked it, so I
own it. It has an LLC. We just need to get the clothing out
there now. We're in the process of interviewing designers
and stuff like that.
I think there's definitely a market there for that too.
Oh, yeah. The New York Post did a full-page article on me.
People are liking this idea, and I just need to run with it
quick and make sure that it happens.
Have you always wanted to move into activism, the
way you've wanted to move into fashion? Is that something that you always saw yourself doing before this
experience?
Yeah. I've always loved children, they actually look up to me
like a role model. That puts me in a good position to influence them, you know? So they'll be more apt to listening
to what I'm trying to say because I'm Dani from the TV
show. It's crazy. It's great, it's a great tool since I'm trying to
push something.
So many viewers were compelled by the boys vs. girls
nature of Shot at Love. Do you think your fan base
broke down the same way?
I think that concept was an awesome idea. It's about time
mainstream TV joined the rest of the world. My fan base
is super broad, so I'm not sure how to answer that one. I
think everyone enjoyed the show and that's what matters.
A lot of lesbian viewers regarded all the femme girls as
"possibly bi" and you as a "real lesbian." Was that fair?
Of course it's fair. I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to
do what makes me comfortable. For example, I have short
hair, I dress in men's clothes, I'm in good physical shape.
To some, these attributes are what makes me"look" gay.To
me, it's what makes me happy. Lesbians can see this and
they just assume I'm the real deal. I understand that, but
my goal isn't to be masculine. It's just that I know what I
like. I love purses and pumps, but I would just look ridiculous in these things. As for the other girls, people make
the assumption that if you look girly, you must like guys.
Wrong!
It seems like lesbians, in general, often have some
very strong feelings about dating bisexual women.
I think Shot at Love offered a forum for us to have
conversations about that. I know how it was presented
to the United States like "I'm bisexual and I'm going
to decide if I am going to be with a man or a woman."
But, what did you experience on the other side of that?
Just because a woman like guys and girls doesn't make me any
more or less sure about the relationship. If somebody is
going co leave me, they obviously don't love me, whether it
is for a boy or a girl. So, I don't really see it as a problem,
I mean, bisexual people, more power to chem. They like
both sexes. They have a bigger (selection of potential partners). If anybody's missing out, it's me. But you know, I've
dated bisexual women, and there's no difference. They just
like boys and girls. Whoop-di-doo.
Lesbians were clearly rooting for you from the beginning. There was a little inference that you were the
"real" lesbian. We heard that a lot here at the office.
I think the lesbian population-it
seems to me after going
through my email and talking to people-were excited to
see somebody that, yeah, there's no (mistaking] that I'm a
lesbian. I was on the show and that's groundbreaking because I'm.not your typical stripper lesbian femme, but I also
proved myself to be well-spoken and intelligent. I have a career, I was a role model-that's what a lot of kids are calling
me, a role model, crazy-but I was a positive image for a
minority that struggles to be called equal, be treated equal.
Did the other women on the show mostly identify as
lesbian?
Well, they all said they were lesbians, but we saw clearly that
some of them were very flirtatious with the boys or actually
hooked up with them in the bed. You wonder how much of
it was sincere. But, I think people can tell that I'm not swinging
both ways.
Did you know you have an entry on Yahoo Answers? The
question is, "What type of butch would you call Dani
from Shot at Love?"
I did not. What does that mean? Type? My blood type?
Hal Do you think you were able to offer Tila something
that helped her in her coming-out process?
Maybe I've dealt with more situations, being a gay female. You
know how to deal with things. You are an outcast-well, not
an outcast anymore, but a minority. Different situations
come about with minorities and you deal with them, hopefully in a positive way. So I think I would have had that to
are mobbing you everywhere you go. Are you just the
total mack daddy or what?
I guess I sort of feel like a mack, but I don't act like that. I really
appreciate all the love my fans show me. I don't want it to go
to my head and start acting like some big shot. That's not very
attractive. I get attention anywhere I go and it's not just the gay
parties. I probably have just as many straight women fans as I
do gay. It's awesome to think I broke some silly stereotypes in
a way. The biggest thing for me is seeing people liking me for
just being me. Gay, straight, male, female, it doesn't matter. It
makes me happy to think that society is letting go of some of
its prejudices and that I might have had something to do with
that. Don't we all want to make the world a better place?
A Shot at Love was groundbreaking because it was
the first bisexual reality show. Do you think it educated
Americans about bisexuality or did it perpetuate
stereotypes?
I definitely think the show opened people's minds a bit. The
world isn't ready to love people for just who they are versus
what they are, but it portrayed the reality of the simple fact
that no matter what your sexual preference may be, people
are still people. I'm just wondering when people are going to
stop trying to tell others who they should like. I'll decide for
mysel£ thank you.
Did you see what Margaret Cho said about you in The
Advocate? She said she'd hire a prostitute but they
didn't come in her type. She asked if it was possible to
"My goal isn't to be masculine ... ! love purses and
pumps, but I would just look ridiculous in these things.
As for the other girls, people make the assumption.
that if you look girly, you must like guys. Wrong!"
offer her. Kind of like wisdom.
Obviously, lesbians love a girl in uniform. Now that
you've been on the show, are you being hit on constantly?
Um, yeah, you know what, it's coming from all directions. I get
a lot of straight women sending me emails saying, 'Tm a
married woman but I would definitely go gay for you:• Go
gay! [laughs]A lot of flattering emails-it's crazy how many
straight women are hitting on me now.
Is that different from before?
No. I have a lot of straight friends, and we hang out in a lot of
straight places, so I meet straight women, and you know, I've
dated them. There's definitely a lot more hitting on me now,
since they recognize me, and I don't have to work to charm
them. I've already done that on TV. [Laughs]So the charming part's over, and now it's just like, "Hey:'
So you're practically a rock star now. You've got 140,000
friends on MySpace, you're at every lesbian party, girls
get one that looks like you.
Ah ha! She's funny. I've heard she's said a few things about me,
all very nice of course, but I hadn't heard that one yet. She's
coming to my area soon, so my manager is trying to set up a
dinner before her show. Imagine that, a true talented professional wanting to meet me. Awesome.
I was sorry to hear about your Grandma Pat dying recently. How strange is it to have her last year immortalized on TV getting a lap dance from a bisexual pinup girl?
Thank you. Grandma had the best last months of her life after
the show. Well, not physically,but emotionally. All she would
talk about was the show and how she couldn't believe that so
many people liked her. She received almost 1,000 letters from
fans wishing her well. Anyone that would visit her in the hospital was sure to read at least one hour's worth of cards and
such. We would decorate the walls of her room with them.
She cried with joy when she would talk about some of her
April 2008
I39
Brandi Ryan, who left the show in a firestorm of emotions, may have a second chance at reality TV. The
23-year-old from Costa Mesa, Calif., has proposed a
new show to MTV that centers around helping teenagers deal with some of the issues Ryan herself has
dealt with-abuse,
foster care, the court system and
coming out.
"I really want to help them believe in themselves,"
says Ryan. Since Shot at Love ended, Ryan says she
has received 40,000 emails from fans, most of whom
ask her advice on dealing_ with their problems.
In terms of dealing with her own problems, she
admits she's still learning. Ryan may be remembered
best for her emotional exit and unsuccessful return.
She says that she handled the situation incorrectly
by "running away from a problem instead of explaining it."
She adds that If she could have really told Tila
Tequila her feelings, she would have had a real shot
at love. For now, though, she's choosing to remain
single and refocus her attention on raising her
brother, who she began fostering five years ago.
If MTV were actually a university, and Shot at Love
a class, Amanda Iverson would be the funny girl in the
40
Icurve
back of the room who is everybody's best friend. A tall
blonde, Iverson like to roll her eyes at the trivial fights
between contestants, but she's beloved not for her
outlandish behavior, but because she was consistently herself.
"I was real throughout the whole thing," says
Iverson. One of-the three final contestants, she attributes her longevity to her humor and age. At 28,
Iverson was one of the oldest competitors. "A lot of
the younger girls don't really know who they are,"
she says, "I do." Plus, she
adds, "Tila really appreciated my sense of humor."
While Iverson admits
that there was no real
sexual chemistry between
Tequila and her, she says
the show was important
because "it was historical
and raised awareness and
helped gain acceptance
for the queer community."
Iverson, a high femme
from Southern California, is a self-proclaimed
"serious member of the
gay community." By serious she means she came out at 15, dated all types
of women and was even married to a woman. She
says her controversial quote at the beginning of the
show about butch women being unappealing was a
misrepresentation of what she said. "They cut out the
beginning of the quote. When I heard the edited version, my stomach just dropped."
As for her life after Tila ... she says she's reentering the dating scene. "If somebody amazing falls into
my life, then I'll go for it. Until then, I'm accumulating
a group of dykes to tattoo my name on their body."
Amanda begins a standup comedy tour in February.
Vanessa Romanelli is the girl most likely to kick
your ass. The self-proclaimed "wild, crazy bitch from
the show" has proven her ability to tumble with the
best of them (from boys to Brandi).
Kicked off in a flurry of fist-swinging and hair-pulling, Romanelli has made numerous club appearances
where she runs a spin-off stage version of the Tila
Tequila show-A Shot at Love with Vanessa. In these
performances, Vanessa invites a group of men and
women up onto the show to, as she puts it, "berate
them." And they seem to be lining up for the abuse.
"They love it," she says, "people really want to do
this."
Romanelli says the real chemistry she experienced
was with her seeming nemesis, Brandi. "We had a
real love/hate relationship," says Romanelli. As for
dating? The 24-year-old New Yorker says she's single
and "partying it up." - Kristin A. Smith
fans. It really made her last days happier. Thank
you to everyone out there who wrote to her. It
was difficult watching someone you love, and
who has always been there, die. I struggled with
it for a while, but I am trying to move forward
and remember the good times I had with her.
Just talking about it makes me cry still. I will
always love and miss her.
Your initial foray into reality TV was really on
a whim. How surprised are you with where
it's led you today?
I seriously wasn't even going to try out for the
show. My friend bamboozled me into doing
it. I never for one second expected to be called
back, let alone make it to runner-up. When we
were filming the show I tried to picture what
my life would be like after the show. Wow, was
I way off.
Now you get recognized constantly. Ever
miss your old quieter life?
At first it was cool. Something new and exciting.
Just recently I think I almost had a nervous
breakdown with all that I was trying to juggle.
I'm learning to pace myself and get my priorities straight. It's tougher than it looks. I don't
know how the "real" stars do it. I have a newfound respect for this lifestyle. The only thing
I really miss is hanging with my family and
friends as much as I used to be able to.
The great thing about Shot at Love was
seeing real queer women on screen. How
hungry do you think queer teens are for that
kind of imagery?
I think the show gave people, not just young
ones, the courage to own up to who they are.
So many people have come up to me and said
"Thank you for giving me the strength to come
out to my family and friends:' Wow. Who
knew the effect I would haver
Are you hearing from a lot of kids?
A ton! My youngest fan that I know of is 5 and
my oldest is 60-and they're both straight.
Well, as far as I know. That's crazy awesome!
One of my co-workers asked if I would stop by
his daughter's soccer game and sign a few autographs for some of the girls on the team. When
I got there, the girls went crazy. I felt a little
weird because the parents were sitting up in
the bleachers and I was thinking," Oh man, I'm
gonna get the eye from them, I know it!" Would
you believe it? When I was done with the girls
and started walking back past the parents, they
started walking down and thanking me for being such a positive role model. That's one of my
favorite stories.
That's great. Let's segue a bit. Tell me about
the first time you fell in love.
I think I was about 17. I had dated girls and guys
before, but this was the one. I knew it all at that
age-yeah right. She blasted my heart out of
my chest in less than a year and a half It was
the worst feeling ever. She cheated on me with
a so-called friend. It took me a good five years
before I could ever truly love someone again. I
had built up huge walls around my heart because I didn't want to feel that way again. That
was a long time ago, though. I still remember
the day I finally didn't love her anymore. What
a relie£ We see each other now and it's like
whatever. It's like those old pictures where you
have some weird-ass hairstyle and you wonder
what the hell you were ever thinking.
Are you a gold star lesbian?
Maybe. Not quite sure what that is.
You'll have to Google it. OK, one of the
scenes that I liked from the show is when
they went to the firehouse and Tila met
your co-workers and the big burly guys ask
her, "What do you offer Dani?" That was so
sweet.
Yeah, it shows their sensitivity, and it shows how
close we are, and that's what it is. Those guys at
the firehouse-and the girls-we're all really
close and we care about each other.
And are you back at the firehouse now?
Yeah, I'm still working.
As a female firefighter, do you feel like you
have to prove yourself on the job?
When I went to fire school I felt that way, but not
so much when I got hired. I like to think my
work ethic is pretty good. If something needs
to be done, I don't like to bitch and moan about
it. Just get it done. Some of the guys will complain about being tired or whatever, but I don't.
Not because I feel I need to prove myself; I'm
just a hard worker.
My fire school was Florida State Fire College and
it is regarded as one of the toughest schools to
attend. I guess I picked that one to prove to
people if I'm gonna do this I want nothing but
the best training. I graduated [as] class president
and received two awards for most outstanding
performance-that means the physical stuffand highest academic scores. Is that enough
proving?
What did the other firefighters think about
the show?
They loved it. I would get bombarded with questions all the time. It also gave everyone a
chance to really get to understand me more. I
feel a little closer to the guys and girls I work
with now. ■
April 2008
I41
intimate with a stranger, Rijker needed to connect in a way that
was familiar to her.
"Rachel was so good with me;' says Rijker appreciatively.
"She had to open and let me lead her, so to speak. It's very
intimate to be physical with a stranger. I don't care whether they
call it acting, you don't want to violate the person because you
have your own approach:'
Of Rijker's awkward "love moments" on the L Word set, some
were nerve-wracking, some just funny.
"One time, the director says to me, 'You've gotta give it more
than that because she's making a hell of a noise: I was just totally doing my own stuff. I was like, 'Oh my God: And she just
laughed at me:'
For an athlete who's used to preparing so that she can react
on instinct, acting poses some unique challenges.
''I've never had a love scene before. You don't really talk about
it, like, when we kiss, how do I kiss you, do I hold my tongue:' I
didn't know how to handle it. Thank God I'm a physical person,
so I can always connect physically.
"But I still freaked our;' she says, laughing. "Then the director
says,'OK, now I want you to kiss longer: I was like, 'Oh God!"'
While she understands that nudity can be important to a
scene, she didn't feel comfortable baring all as a guest star.
"In my country, I'm a very respected athlete. When you're an
actor, there's nothing wrong with nudity. If I'm a regular on the
show I'd say, 'OK, you need to do what you need to do: But I
wanted to set a boundary for myself:'
Now, as she waits to hear if her role on the show will be
extended (and we wait to see if we get to see more of her), she's
sorting through the questions that her on-camera interlude has
raised.
"I like challenging myself What's this fear? What is this
shame? What's going on here:' That's what I like about acting, it
always challenges psychologically:•
While she is arguably the best female fighter in the world,
Rijker can probably make a better living as an actor. There is little
money in boxing or kickboxing for women, and female fighters
don't yet have a shot at Olympic gold.
Opporrunities have presented themselves. After the success
of Million Dollar Baby, she was offered a chance to put her sport
and her causes in the spotlight. Promoters in Las Vegas set up a
fight between Rijker and another top female fighter, but Rijker
blew out her Achilles tendon while training.
"Goals are important to bring out your fullest potential, but
the moment you become attached to them they can destroy you.
I was attached to that big fight;' she says. "The impact that I
thought I was going to have on women, because all my interviews
were about being a trailblazer and making history ... I thought I
was on top of the world. I was blowing money to have the best
team around me. Jay Leno was going to fly me to his show in a
private jet, and the moment I popped my Achilles tendon everything and everyone was gone:'
Then her mother died. Her Buddhist faith helped get her
through it, she says.
'Tm an extremist, that's why Buddhism fits me so well. I
sacrificed a lot:'
Since then she's been re-evaluating her life. She will be 40
soon and must decide whether to compete again.
"My whole life I had long-term goals, [which is] a good thing
and a bad thing. I wasn't opened to the moment because I had
tunnel vision, which helped me develop self-discipline and
endurance. On the other hand, I missed out on a lot of things.
''As an athlete, I did not go through adolescence, when you
develop who you become, you go dating, go to the disco. I was
training, I went to the gym.
"That's my time now. Hey, there's more to life. Let me see
what's out there:'
She recently got an offer to fight in Japan, but to accept would
mean "becoming a monk again;' she says.
"It's a lifestyle. You have to really let go of a lot of things, to
totally think and breathe and act like a warrior, because that's
what made me good. That's what I did to be the best:'
Since she's given up her monk-like existence, her life has
expanded to include speaking engagements and teaching all over
the world. In September, a documentary filmabout her spirirual
journey premiered at a Buddhist film festival in the Netherlands.
She's worked in Thailand and has represented an aid organization in Bangladesh.
'Tm really enjoying this second part of my life;•she says.''I'm
realizing there is so much more, and there's also a time to start to
give back and to share. It's a natural cycle, and when you follow
the narural cycle then your life goes well:'
Maybe she's not so dangerous after all. ■
44
I curve
lla, Bevy a,J B11,idezilla4
But still dreaming of a dress. By Beren deMotier
I never got to be a bridezilla. But I consider myself lucky to have
been a bride at all, even if there was nary a dress in sight.
My road to marriage was more an amazing race than a stately
journey. It was pouring rain as my spouse-to-be and I sprinted the
six blocks from the parking garage to the church, our older kids
gamely jogging along. Our toddler had fallen asleep, so I carried
him crushed against my chest, praying he'd get enough rest so he
wouldn't scream through the ceremonies as my spouse and I got
married with three other couples who were rushing into legal marriage that morning in Portland, Ore.
After we knocked, rang and then
pounded, the doors of the church
swung wide. The staff knew about the
decision to offer licenses that morn-
lection of wearable options, and only a fool would do that to
costume a kid. But once, amongst all the hideous faux brocade,
pearl beading, and too-shiny polyester satin, I saw it: a lovely bolt
of off-white sheer organza just waiting to be made into a voluminous
skirt someone could get lost in for days. Sigh.
I've had a lot of time to think about this-21 years of partnership, plus the occasional pre-spouse pondering. Given the
opportunity, I could probably rethink "the dress" 9 million times,
order one I later decide I hate, sew something I end up discard-
ing, and they were ready to whip up
weddings at a moment's notice. Two
of our fellow brides disappeared during the trip from the licensing office to
the wedding chapel (they'd stopped
for flowers). One future bride assessed
our needs and took off to the store
for sandwiches, because our preteens
would kill if they didn't get fed fast. I
held the little one tight against me to
keep him asleep, evading the friendly
woman who kept trying to pat him,
unaware that doing so might spell
disaster should he awake.
We were not exactly weddingready. We were dressed for March
weather in the Northwest: thick socks, heavy shoes, coats and
sweaters. Our daughter was wearing black sweatpants, and the
baby was wearing the same warm, grungy outfit he'd worn to bed.
The 30 seconds s ent vacillating over lipsticks was as much time as
we ad to fuss. Without six onths to fret about every detail, we
acked the time and opportunity to turn into a bevy of bridezillas.
This was prob ly a good thing.
In my 20s (anH while underemployed), I used to make little
black dresses I could otherwise not afford, snazzy trousers that
in retrospect w7fe hideous in their shiny '80s splendor, and the
occasional sh ulder bag. These days, I only sew couch covers,
curtains an costumes. But from time to time, hen I've gone to
Fabric D pot for my annual Halloween costu e-making maratho
'nosaurs, guinea pigs and vampires, oh my), I've ambled the
aisles, heaving bolts about, somehow finding myself in the bridal
Generally, the bridal section of any fa ric store is a tastefree zone. You have to go to a really spen y shop for a wide se-
46
I curve
ing, buy something off the rack that I then return and change my
mind at the last minute, going back to option one, agonizing all the
way. Our spontaneous ceremony was astoundingly agony-free. No
guest list to fuss over, no colors to debate, no menus to consider,
no matching bridesmaid disasters, no seating plans resulting in a
family feud, and no second mortgage to pay for it all.
As one bride said later, "We had all of the best parts of a wedding, with none of the worst:'
But seriously, what could be the "worst" about a white dress
and a tiara?
OK, so the wedding has come and gone, legally as well as
temporally, though the relationship remains. But my secret bridal
obsession lingers. It was with mingled desire and anxiety, and a
stifling of my self-esteem issues, that I entered a bridal shop for the
first time to try on a dress yesterday-just because.
With the first waft of scented air I realized I was out of my
depth. From the price tags on the gowns (my fave weighed in at
$1,700), to the tuxedos in the windows, to the books filled with
florists, caterers and photographers who charged more than my
annual income, it was a store full of economic intimidation. I was
brought up in a tradition that espoused plain gold bands, backyard
weddings and a cocktail dress for the bride that wasn't a one-time
waste of money.
I would have fled out the door fast if it weren't for the woman
who owned the place-who assured me that they'd dressed plenty
of same-sex brides-taking me firmly in hand and putting me
on the banquette to watch the brides-to-be in action while she
scooped up a dress or two for me to try on. Three things became
immediately obvious: 1) Choosing a dress takes four females,
minimum-one of them the maternal type. 2) Trying on wedding
dresses is a leisurely activity. You can't just pop in, point and say,
"Throw it in a box and I'll take it to go:' And 3) Strapless dresses
aren't all they're cracked up to be. If wearing one makes you look
like the figurehead on a ship, just say no.
Yet when the owner came back bearing three gowns, two of
them strapless, I tried them on meekly, like a lamb.
Three new things became obvious: 1) There is no such thing as
tying a shoelace in a wedding dress and my vision of Dr. Marten's
combat boots under silk would take two attendants to manage the
grommets. 2) Taffeta and satin weigh more than you would think
and beading is like lead. And 3) Putting a good wedding dress on
makes you feel omnipotent-not
only a princess for a day, but a
queen for life.
I'd thought, mistakenly, that the sight of 43-year-old me alongside 20-somethings would be depressing. But the mirrors lining
the walls took off 10 pounds easy,and the hairdo the owner myste-
newfound knowledge to my daughter,
in case she should decide to have a traditional wedding someday,
instead of doing a sprint across town in the pouring rain to get
hitched, just like her mothers.
riously accomplished using a rubber band and a tug made me look
like a happily ravished prom queen of mature years. Still, there
was more than a killer outfit going on; there was sisterhood in that
room, and, damn, it was powerful.
But when I tried to impart my wisdom on bridal poses and
how far ahead one must order a dress, my daughter just looked at
me as only a 12-going-on-13-year-old can, and said, "Geez, Mom,
even I knew that:' ■
As I dragged myself out of the last
dress, an asymmetrical, strapless number
with dotted Swiss, an oval train and an
infrastructure that kept me from looking like I belonged on the prow of that
ship, I felt smugly satisfied that the time
climbing into and out of dresses, with a
net over my face (to keep makeup off the
fabric), wasn't wasted. I could pass on my
In spring 2007, Oregon state legislators
procedures, determined
passed two landmark bills: the Oregon
that they were far below the
Equality Act, which would ban discrimina-
55,000 valid signatures they
Oregon (basicrights.org),
tion based on sexual orientation and gender
needed to stop the laws
a nonprofit LGBT rights
identity, and the Oregon Family Fairness
from coming into effect on
group, Oregonians turned
w
a:
Act, which would legally recognize domestic
Jan. 1, 2008.
their honeymoons into vigils
Cf)
partnership for all committed couples in
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...,
Oregon.
For months it looked
like a victory for LGBT
February hearing.
Led by Basic Rights
and came out in massive
numbers to protest the
Oregonians, but on Dec. 3,
ruling. And their hard work
at the end. The new legislation was met with
the Alliance Defense Fund
and dedication paid off. On
But not every rainbow has a pot of gold
Feb. 1, Judge Michael Mosman ruled that
continuous opposition from out-of-state,
from Arizona filed a suit to retroactively
far-right interest groups. Restore America,
admit the disqualified signatures, arguing
Restore America had failed to get the req-
based in Tennessee, launched a petition-
that the people who had signed the petition
uisite signatures. The law went into effect,
signing campaign to force a referendum on
had a "fundamental right" to have their
giving domestic partners the recognition
both laws.
voices heard, similar to the fundamental
they deserve, and couples (like partners of
right to have their votes counted. A restrain-
22 years, Lynn Killam and Melody Johnson,
their signatures and the Oregon Elections
ing order granted last December postponed
Committee, following well-established
domestic partnerships in Oregon until a
above) flooded the courthouse. - Lauren
Marie Fleming
On Sept. 26, 2007, the groups turned in
April 2008
I47
Picking the, 1Jle.dtling La,ca&
Know your rights in your state before you say "I do." By Mea Chavez
Passed in 1996, the federal Defense of Marriage
Act defined marriage as a legal union between
one man and one woman for purposes of all federal laws, and says that states need not recognize
a marriage from another state if it is between
persons of the same sex. Over 10 years later, 40
states have passed their own DOMA laws, but
in the remaining states some rights have been
granted to same-sex couples.
Maine, California, Oregon and Washington
offer domestic partnerships that give many or all
of the same rights to same-sex couples that married heterosexuals enjoy. Similarly, Hawaii has a
reciprocal beneficiary relationship for which any
two people can register. A civil union is a legal
union of a same-sex couple, sanctioned by a civil
authority. A civil union is different from a domestic partnership because it requires a ceremony
to be considered valid. New Jersey, Vermont,
Connecticut and New Hampshire grant civil
unions to same-sex couples that extend the same
benefits and protections granted to spouses in a
marriage. But by calling it a civil union, they remind gays and lesbians they are not married like
straight couples. Massachusetts alone gives marriage licenses to all couples.
Even when these states grant same-sex couples full state rights-including rights to inheritance and adoption-they remain excluded from
federal protections like collecting on a deceased
partner's Social Security and federal tax benefits.
Don't let all those same-sex marriage bans
discourage you. Progressive states continue to
push for positive changes. Rhode Island honors
marriages performed ·in Massachusettes while
New Jersey recognizes civil unions from Vermont
and Connecticut and grants civil union status to
domestic partners from California. Meanwhile,
New Hampshire law includes provisions for recognizing civil unions performed in other states.
Weve highlighted some of the pending cases
around the country where the fight for full marriage equality continues. ■
48
I
curve
:· •••••••
As of Jan. 1, 2008, the Oregon Family Fairness
Act permits same-sex couples to register as
domestic partners, and are
granted all the privileges, im•• •►
munities, rights and benefits
given to married couples
under state law.
The 2004 San Francisco
same-sex marriage licenses
opened a new legal front.
On March 4, the California
Supreme Court hearu oral
arguments challenging the
exclusion of some samesex couples from marriage
and has also been flooded
with letters of support from
around the wor1d. The case
comes on the 60th anniversary of the historic California
ruling that allowed interracial
marriage that set a legal
precedent across the country
and is the basis for this case.
•
~
-
Last month, a
bill to legalize
civil unions was
introduced to
Hawaii's State ◄••••••
Legislature.
~
1
In August 2007, a
county trial judge
in Iowa ruled that
the state's ban on
same-sex marriage
violated the rights
and protections
of the state's constitution. The
case is pending before the Iowa
Supreme Court.
"
In 2005, Connecticut declared same-sex couples
entitled to all the benefits
and protections granted
to spouses in marriage,
but titled the relationship
a civil union. Legal challenges seeking
permission for same-sex couples to
receive marriage licenses are pending.
..
◄···:
Michigan's DOMA law
bans same-sex marriage.
The amendment prohibits
public universities, state
In January 2006, Circuit Court Judge
agencies and local governM. Brooke Murdock struck down the
ments from offering health
33-year-old Maryland state law defining
insurance to partners of
marriage as a union between a man and
gay and lesbian employa woman. This pending case could force
ees as mandated by a
recognition of same-sex marriage rights.
Michigan appeals court in
February 2007, a conflict
that's resulted in legal
◄•••••• •• ····:
challenges.
L Th.,e,e, ZIJ,e,d,
There's a great new trend by jewelry
..
designers to market to lesbian and
gay couples, even some like Udi
Behr's Love and Pride lines created
by openly queer artists themselves.
It's a boon for dykes like me who
always want to aim their buying
power in the right (er, maybe that
should be 'left') direction. So when
I went in search of the must-have
nuptial adornment I looked at every
jeweler who advertised in a national
gay publication, had publicly come
out as queer or was popular with
f
New York recognizes same-sex
marriages granted
in other states, but
doesn't issue civil
unions or marriage
licenses to its own residents. In
April 2007, New York Gov. Eliot
Spitzer proposed a bill allowing
same-sex couples to register as
domestic partners. The bill has
not yet passed.
f
Like Michigan, Ohio's
2004 constitutional
amendment banning
gay marriage caused
significant legal confusion. Lower courts cited
it for denying protection
under domestic violence
laws to unmarried
couples.
More than 9,000 samesex couples have tied
the knot in the four years
since Massachusetts'
historic decision to issue
marriage licenses to all
couples.
....................................
..
f
A state DOMA bans same-sex couples from marriage rights in Florida, even as state demographics highlight the need for marriage protections. In
December 2007, the Williams Institute at UCLA
School of Law released findings that 17 percent
of the same-sex couples living in Florida are
raising more than 17,000 children. These legally
unrecognized households have less money than
married households in Florida. Their average
income is 23 percent less than their married
counterparts.
■ LEGAL MARRIAGE
■ CIVIL UNIONS
■ DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIPS
■ PENDING
BANNED
queers. When I found my designer,
Boston's lesbian industrial artist
Kristina Pitaniello-who includes The
L Word's Rosanna Arquette and Julia
Roberts among her fans- it was pure
synchronicity. Pitaniello, though, had
a piece of advice that all lesbian ring
bearers should consider.
"I would advise that instead of
going to a store to pick out rings,
design them on your own, go to an
artist to have them made," she says.
"Even if people are not artists themselves, when a tiny outlet presents
itself, sometimes it's amazing and
beautiful what they come up with."
Though I went with a ring off-therack (using that fashion term that
means "not one of a kind"), Pitaniello
makes a good argument for how lesbians can afford to have something
designed just for them. "I love working with people on that level because
they are always unbelievably happy
with the result and happy to be creative with such a meaningful object."
-Diane Anderson-Minshall
KINA WILLIAMS (OR), KOVAL PRODUCTIONS/ISTOCK(IA), GARYMILNER/ISTOCK(NY), EAU CLAIRE PHOTOGRAPHICS/ISTOCK(MA),
COURTESYCT GENERALASSEMBLYAND THE LEAGUEOF WOMEN VOTERSOF CT EDUCATIONFUND (CT)
April 2008
I49
As executive director, Lee Swislow oversees the planning and
implementation of strategies to win equal rights for LGBT citizens. Swislow began her LGBT work as a nurse for patients with
HIV ~d further clarified her ambition in life to bring equality
and justice to her community. 'J\nytime you have the opportunity
to fight discrimination, grab it. It's the most personally satisfying
thing anyone can do;' she says. Swislow knows that she's fighting for
her o~n rights too: "If it weren't for GLAD, I wouldn't be married:'
LaraSchwartz,
LegalDirectorandChiefLegislative
Counsel,
HumanRightsCampaign
(hrc.org)
Federal laws like the Defense of Marriage Act significantly curtail
LGBT rights. Leading a team of lawyers, Lara Schwartz coordinates messages to the Hill about the impact of proposed legislation
in the LGBT community and provides information about why the
HRC does or does not support particular items.
With a resume that includes clerking for a federal judge, working for two corporate law firms and being the head legal counsel on
both battles against the Federal Marriage Amendment, Schwartz
not only fights for marriage equality, but also works toward changing tax and hate-crime laws to protect the LGBT community.
Schwartz emphasizes the need to push for full marriage equality. "Civil unions aren't marriage. They are a huge step forward
in protecting families in very concrete ways...but they're not full
equality; they're progress. People don't say,'I want to be civil unionFrom the courthouses of California to the halls of Capitol Hill,
these women and the organizations they run are litigating, lobbying and leading the fight for marriage equality.
ized when I grow up; they want to get married:'
JudiO'Kelley,
Southern
Regional
Director,
LambdaLegal
(lambdalegal.org)
KateKendell,
Executive
Director,
NationalCenterforLesbian
Rights(nclrights.org)
While directing the city of Atlanta's nondiscrimination policy
and serving as the lead plaintiff in the 2004-06 case to strike
Since its founding in 1977, the NCLR has been dedicated to
down Georgia's anti-marriage amendment, Judi O'Kelley laid the
groundwork for marriage equality in the South. In her position
LGBT family law and has helped set precedents for child custody
laws, adoption rights and same-sex-partner legal recognition.
As executive director, Kate Kendell maps out long-term strate-
with Lambda Legal, the oldest national legal organization dedi-
gies for"where (we are) now legally in terms of the status oflesbian
relationships, where we want to be, and what are the best mecha-
cated to achieving full equality for gay and lesbian people, O'Kelley
works directly with the LGBT community of the South.
"I always feel such an astonishment and awe at the courage of
nisms that we can push as a legal organization for getting there:'
Through Kendell's leadership, combined with the hard work
[LGBT] people who are living every day in states like Mississippi
and Alabama;' O'Kelley says, "especially couples who are building
and skill of her staff, the NCLR has won many landmark cases,
including the milestone case of Sharon Smith's wrongful death
their lives together, having families together, and being who they
are and making the best of the laws that have been dealt to them:'
suit on behalf of her· partner, Diane Whipple. Even under the
relatively progressive laws of California, Smith was seen legally
as a stranger, but the NCLR successfully sued for her right to be
treated as a spouse for the purposes of the suit, setting precedents
for California to legally recognize same-sex partners.
Of her work at the NCLR, Kendell says, "it has been the most
fantastic, privileged, rewarding work I could imagine:'
LeeSwislow,
Executive
Director,
GayandLesbian
Advocates
and
Defenders
(glad.org)
so Icurve
What You Can Do to Make a Difference
Each of these women emphasized the effect that being out and
proud has on the marriage equality movement. "Not enough
people tell their stories;' Kendell says. "We assume someone will
win this for us, we don't want to risk relationships or make people
feel uncomfortable by having difficult conversations:' But stu4ies
show that the extent to which people support gay rights is in direct
correlation with how many gay people they know and love."Every
friend that you share your experience with, every family member
A New England-based organization, GLAD has been at the fore-
that you talk with, is exponentially going to help make a change;'
front of marriage equality for over 25 years. The organization led the
counsels that abolished sodomy laws in every state in New England,
lobbied for current LGBT nondiscrimination laws, and won the
right to marry in Massachusetts and form civil unions in Vermont.
says Schwartz.
"If you're not in a place where you can (be out];' O'Kelley adds,
a:
"then give support in terms of letter-writing campaigns, making
donations and giving support to the people who can be:'■
cii
Lil
Cl
2
u.
u.
u.
-,
Le.Ulan 1Jlerlcling Eti'luet:te
Fun advice to get you through that special day. By Heather Gold
0
My mother is obsessed with my wedding. She is obnox-
Anything succinct. There's no pro~
ious and annoying. What do I do?
cessing in vows.
Congratulations. This means you are finally being treated like
CD)
How do we decide who to invite
everyone else.
@ I always learned that the parents of the bride pay for the
want to exclude anyone.
and who not to invite? We don't
wedding. But who pays when there are two brides?
Do invite anyone you love. Don't
Don't feel guilty. This is the only time the income disparity
between gay men and lesbians is reversed.
invite anyone you might want co make
out with.
8
(D I'm opposed to marriage
Which one is the man?
If you have to ask, neither.
E) What gift should we buy?
history.
Something expensive. In America, if you buy chem enough scuff,
Just do it where it's illegal and look at
the marriage counts.
it as a protest chat comes with a very
0
How do we deal with our interfaith marriage ceremony?
because of its misogynist legal
fun party.
Don't worry about it. You're already going to hell for being gay.
(e
0
How do we coordinate them?
How do I choose my wedding colors?
We both plan to wear dresses.
Some hetero traditions are worth leaving behind.
Lesbians can now be proud chat we finally have one situation in
0
which gay men can solve our problems.
How do I deal with family members who "don't approve
of my lifestyle"?
(e
Invite chem. I'm even inviting George W. Bush. You should too.
Then ignore what I said about not inviting anyone you'd want co'
Inclusion is the best revenge.
make out with.
0
~ How do we include our pets at our ceremony?
What shall we serve? Some of my friends are: a) vegetar-
ian, b) gluten-free, c) lactose intolerant, and d) breatharian.
Cheeseburgers. Your wedding is the perfect time to stop raking
care of everybody else's needs. Now you can dedicate your life to
What if we're polyamorous?
I don't think chat question needs a punch line answer.
GJWhich Bible quotes should I use for our wedding?
Stick with the Indigo Girls.
taking care of one single woman's needs.
~ Where do I seat my horrible relatives?
0
With your partner's horrible relatives.
What should I put in my marriage vows?
Ci,Should I pack?
For your honeymoon, yes. For
your bride? I doubt you'll gee
enough rime alone.
~ Should we videotape?
Absolutely. Ir will be better than
Prozac on any sad day.
~ Should I post our photos
and videotape online?
Yes! If we all do chis, we can con~
vert all the web traffic attracted by
the search terms "lesbian wedding"
and "lesbian kiss" to ad revenue
for the NCLR. (Truth is, if we
could withhold lesbian porn until
we got our rights, we'd have legal
marriage in a week.)
~ Don't you have any serious
advice about our wedding?
Ask for help. Enjoy the love. Be
genuine. Bur I didn't think lesbians
needed any real help with chat. ■
April 2008
I
51
mttLnig At lluJitia.l4
New Hampshire celebrates New Year's civil unions. By Tamara Le
sacrifice to realize.
'Tve seen and heard and felt the
vile, evil things gays and lesbians have
had to endure in seeking the most ba~
sic equalities;' said New Hampshire
Senate Majority Whip Martha Fuller
Clark to the crowd.
"My uncle, a philosophy profes~
sor at Harvard, was fired in 1910
for being gay. He had to leave the
country. My husband's uncle jumped
to his death in 1954 because he felt
there was no room for a gay man in
the world:'
Fuller Clark continued, "In hold~
ing public hearings on the civil unions
law, we experienced firsthand the ig~
"I am so, I am so happy ... " cried the graying, pleasantly plump
woman. She struggled to blot tears from her cheek as one hand
held a bouquet of cream~colored calla lilies, and the other, a
certificate of civil union.
norance and fear you face every day.
We need to make safe our communities for people who are gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgendered:'
Democratic Representative James Splaine, the sponsor of the
bill, said, "Civil unions are an interim step toward true equality. We
Her partner, tall and lean with soft wavy hair, led her gently will have to continue to work to maintain the law. It's likely to be~
out of the church library and down the stairs. Their children
come a divisive issue in future elections."
followed, glowing. As they entered the social hall, hundreds of
House Speaker Terie Norelli felt otherwise. "I don't fear bal~
people cheered. And then everyone danced.
lot~box retaliation. New Hampshire •
ery-l:ibertar-i
On this historic day in New Hampshire, 11 couples held civil allows people their person
·g rs:•
unions in the small church library.
Norelli, the first emocrat elected Speaker of the House in
With humble beginnings dating back to 1627, the Unitarian
s appalled to learn on her first day on the job
Universalist church, South Church of Portsmouth (site of the cele~
ian legislators had not been allowed to list their
bration above), has experienced its share of history, but this was the
partners as mily in the CongressionalDirectory.
first day of January 2008, and the state's newly enacted civil unions
The r ad to equality is not for the faint of heart.
law had been in effect for a little over 12 hours. The congregation
Mel· sa Weeks, an artist who helped plan the celebration at
gathered to celebrate the sanctimony of civil unions in a cere- ---·----e-~:'.'t:"':lrt:~u-=-r
h-sa:s, "I am always amazed when life goes in circles.
called Stand on the Side of Love.
New Hampshire is only the fourth state to
We g thered in the sam anctuary where we had gathered at the
beginning of the New Hamp ire [marriage rights] movement in
199 .
or even the threat of one.
The resulting ceremonies took mi
hours to celebrate, but took decades
tes to legalize and a few
Vl/te,,u, ULlll !lo,u m«44!f?
5%
4%
A park, backyard or house
Exotic vacation spot (Hawaii, Tahiti, Virgin Islands)
Church, chapel, synagogue or temple
Rented hall
LasVegas
Results from Curvemag.com
ings were different then. The e was a great deal of anger
beca se people were dealing with bei g hassled and assaulted.
Man people were living closeted lives. C ditional love ran ram~
pant, ' says Weeks. The Portsmouth Open Door City Coalition
was for ed to help. An ordinance prepared or the City Council
to protec the rights of the LGBT communi didn't pass, but it
opened the oor and let some light in.
The polic department was educated by
and Portsmouth received
munity. In time, peop e stepped up to tell
their stories.
52
I curve
llitcltecl
in 'llatnp1.1Ai11,e.,
"We were thrilled that two New Hampshire couples wanted to have their civil
unions at the inn at the stroke of midnight on Jan. 1, the very moment the law
went into effect," said Grace Newman, owner, innkeeper and nurturing spirit of
The Highlands Inn (highlandsinn-nh.com).
"What was truly memorable was all of our New Year's Eve guests chose
to attend the ceremony, even though none of them knew the couples having
the civil unions. The energy was absolutely electric. Everyone knew we were
"1993 seems like a long time ago;' says Weeks, "but many
small steps had to be taken and many good people carried the
light on that journey:'
The Reverend Roberta Finkelstein, who led the service on
Jan. 1, cautioned that much of the work still lies ahead.
"Being a community of faith that has long been in the fore~
front of the movement for marriage equality, hosting this event
was an affirmation of all the work we have done. But in order to
attain true marriage equality, we need to continue with education
and consciousness~raising and work with political allies to get the
legislation introduced. We must continue to allow people to tell
their stories of intimacy and discrimination. That puts a real hu~
man face on the issue:'
:::E
:::)
~
~
~
Weeks added, "I wish my partner could have seen this day.
When she died I had to circle 'single; on her death certificate. It
was a lie. Everyone who knew us knew it was a lie:'
The New Hampshire civil unions law affords the same rights,
obligations and responsibilities as marriage within the state, but
can't compensate for the lack of federal protection.
Couples who enter into civil unions are not eligible for sur~
vivor's social security or federal veterans' benefits. There are state
protections safeguarding the right to inherit without a will and
important health insurance benefits, but any federal or multistate
insurance plan may still legally discriminate against united gay
couples.
And, unlike their married heterosexual counterparts, gay
couples in New Hampshire must pay taxes on most of the value
of higher~end health insurance plans.
Whether you are a resident or not, New Hampshire has no
waiting period for civil unions. There is no waiting period for
divorce either, if both parties are residents. The state of New
Hampshire expects upwards of 4,000 couples to attain civil
unions this year.
Governor John Lynch's office released statements praising the
state's long history of outlawing any form of discrimination and
rotecting the sanctity of families. But no bills are pending in
the New Hampshire State Legislature legalizing marriage for
gay couples.
You never know what might be cooking in Portsmouth,
though.
As Finkelstein reflected on the events of the day, she mused,
"What surprised me was the way the idea of Standing on the
Side of Love took off. When I put out feelers about wanting to 'do
something' onJan.1, many people from the congregation indicat~
ed that they were interested in working with me. And the event
evolved into this wonderful combination of worship, fellowship
and celebration. That can only happen when lots of people are
involved and committed:' ■
witnessing history. It was one of my proudest moments in a quarter century
maintaining a haven for women."
Partners Carrie and Lucie, who didn't give their last names, talked about the
anticipation and nervousness at the inn as everyone counted down to midnight
with them.
"Everyone was so supportive. It was good to be in the care of such generous souls. We especially loved the very personal and meaningful double-ring
ceremony our JP prepared for us. It was so emotional, after 16 years together,
knowing that our relationship was finally validated and legally recognized by
the state of New Hampshire," said Carrie.
Lucie agreed. "We also felt the true meaning of 'family.' Grace even surprised
us after the ceremony with a big cake and champagne. We look forward to the
time when we can come back to the inn to celebrate our relationship becoming
recognized nationwide!"
The Highlands Inn is nestled in the ravishing White Mountain National Forest
in Bethlehem. The main building has 13 antique-filled rooms. The 200-year-old
farmhouse has five rooms, and a romantic, rustic cottage is ideal for honeymooners or a small family.
The atmosphere at the inn allows guests to easily meet and socialize with
other lesbians from all over the country, whether chatting at breakfast, joining
another couple for dinner at a local. restaurant or enjoying many other attractions. Couples who've been visiting the area for years have said that they've
met some of their best friends at the inn.
The inn maintains 15 miles of hiking-skiing trails and an indoor and outdoor spa.
There is also a grand old stone fireplace,
perfect for sparking lengthy, uninterrupted
conversations on a snowy night or just
snuggling up in front of with a glass of wine
and book from the library.
A bountiful country breakfast in the sunfilled breakfast room is recommended, as
the town of Bethlehem and the surrounding
community will keep you busy. The small
village (pop. 2,200) is safe, diverse and welcoming, with a long history of hospitality.
"We have been host to countless weddings, civil unions, commitment ceremonies and, of course, honeymoons, for women from Vermont, Massachusetts
and Quebec," said Newman. "The exciting developmevts in New Hampshire
couldn't have come at a better time than our 25th anniversary."
Since Vermont's civil unions law went into effect in 2000, over 300 couples
have stayed at the Highlands Inn while becoming civilly united nearby. Ceremonies
range in size from the very intimate Oust the couple) to much larger, lavish celebrations, and, Newman says, "We are well-prepared to help women plan their
personal and perfect event. We feel so much joy in making women's romantic
dreams come true.''
Civil union packages range from $680 to $1,010 for a three-night stay in the
deluxe queen room and can be tweaked to accommodate longer or shorter
stays. Couples must also pay a $45 license fee directly to the town clerk.
For added privacy, Newman says the sign out front always says "No
Vacancy." So if you ever drive by the Highlands Inn without reservations, ignore
it! -Tamara Le
April 2008
I
53
THE nEED roR SPEED
Estrogen-driven engines rule the racetrack. By Jennifer Corday
I love speed. Not the white, powdery kind. The vroom-vroom, racing down the
fast lane at 98 mph as I white-knuckle the wheel and pray for no po-po kind.
I thought I was badass, but 98 is nothin' compared to the 220-plus speeds
reached by professional women race car drivers today. These girls not only haul
ass, they're totally badass.
More and more women are strapping in and revving their engines, competing in NASCAR, IndyCar and the National Hot Rod Association. Perhaps
the most well-known female race car driver, or at least the most media-friendly,
is the fiery 5-foot-2-inch, 100-pound brunette Danica Patrick. She's not just
fast, she's hot. I think I'm in love. OK, she's straight and I'm not, but can't I
have a little crush? Patrick's fans are encouraged to join the Danica Maniacs
fan club, which gives special privileges to Patrick fanatics: a Pit Kit with a membership card, a bumper sticker,
a racing mag and a one-of-a-kind autographed photo of
Patrick, plus the promise of a very special, limited edition package when she wins her first Indy car race. When,
they say, not if. It could be this year.
But Patrick's not the only chick who's burning rubber.
Melanie Troxel was named Sportswoman of the Year
by Billie Jean King's Women's Sports Foundation, and
won two Top Fuel events last season. Leilani Munter,
who once worked as a driving double to lure photographers away from the actor Catherine Zeta-Jones, is making her way up the NASCAR ranks. Last June, she finished fourth in a USRA Super Late Model Series event
at Texas Motor Speedway, the highest finish by a female
driver in any race at the track. Ashley Force drives for
her father John Force's team, and will even race against
her dad in the Funny Car division. She won five NHRA
national events in her Top Alcohol dragster, and finished
Top 10 in each of her three seasons.
If you like a woman who drives a truck, check out
Erin Crocker, the only woman to compete full-time in
the NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series. This year, she
will drive a Gillett Evernham Motorsports Dodge in
both the ARCA and NASCAR Busch Series. Crocker,
who started her career in openwheel racing, is the only female
to win a World of Outlaws race.
Sounds tantalizingly rebellious.
The Venezuelan beauty
Milka Duno stars as a Russian
race car driver in the new
Warner Brothers movie Speed
Racer, coming in May 2008.
She and her CITGO racing
team finished second in the
54
I curve
Rolex 24 at Daytona, the highest podium finish for a female driver in the 45year history of the 24 Hours of Daytona. She was named "Venezuelan Auto
Racing Driver of the Year" in 2000 and has attracted the attention of fans
worldwide. "I am very competitive and I like the challenge;' says Duno about
why she got into racing. Duno travels the States to compete with her team and
stays in top-notch physical condition. "I have a lot of muscle;' says Duno. "You
have to be in really good condition because it's so demanding. Not just physically,but mentally as well:'
Clearly, women have a need for speed and are proving that when it comes
to pushing the pedal to the metal, they have the courage, reflexes and stamina
to compete with the best of the best. ■
IADIES.START
YOURERGIRES
Speed demons cut loose at this racing school. By Jodi Helmer
Looking for an activity to make your palms sweaty,
your heart pound and your breath heavy? Sign up
for racing school.
"There is nothing quite like driving around
roll bars and on-board fire extinguishers, and
Goodman designed the track with few walls or
guardrails, to accommodate beginners.
a race track;' says Brett Goodman, president and
"We have a 24-year injury-free racing record;'
he says. "On this course, if someone makes a mis-
owner of the Bridgestone Racing Academy outside
of Toronto (race200.com). "It is one of the most
take, the only injury is to their ego:'
The customizable track offers 24 different
exhilarating experiences in the world:'
configurations to ensure a challenging driving
experience for first-timers and experienced car
racers alike.
Goodman founded the Bridgestone Racing
Academy in 1992 to meet the demand for topnotch race training. Today, the school teaches ap-
Even race car driver Danica
proximately 1,500 students a year how to drive
Formula race cars.
Patrick has spent some time do-
Packages include the Thrill of a Lifetime, aimed
at beginners. The one-day program provides instruction on the ins and outs of driving a race car
before students are allowed to test their skills on
the racetrack.
Instructors drive pace cars to cue students
on taking corners, breaking and steering. On the
track, students often reach speeds of 100 mph, taking turns and straightaways like the pros.
Going just once around the track gives some
students the racing bug.
"There are no kids, no cars and no curbs on the
track;' Goodman explains. "It's just the driver and
a wide-open race track; the experience cannot be
matched:'
Students looking to develop their basic skills
can sign up for packages like Learn to Lap and
Wheel-to-Wheel Racing, multiday courses that
help refine basic driving skills.
The academy is staffed with full-time racing
professionals, and its cars and courses are topof-the-line. The cars are equipped with extra-tall
ing laps at the Bridgestone Racing
Academy.
Classes attract car lovers and
adrenaline junkies. No matter how
much time students have logged
behind the wheel of a fast car before
coming to class, nothing compares
with the
"We
Ferraris,
Formula
feeling of driving a race car.
have had people who drive
Corvettes and Vipers get out of [the
cars] in disbelief;' says Goodman. "One
[racer] even told me, 'My Corvette feels like a farm
tractor compared to this car!"'
Despite the adrenaline rush that comes with
driving a race car, fewer than 5 percent of students
at the Bridgestone Racing Academy are women.
This fact surprises Goodman.
"Motor sports seem to appeal more to men;' he
explains. "But once you put a race suit and helmet
on, it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman.
You're both race car drivers. It's so incredible to be
in the cockpit of a race car, driving it around the
track. It's a life experience that will last forever:' ■
April 2008
I
55
n REIDKIRDor GIRiGARG
San Francisco Scooter Girls are making their mark on this
scooter-crazed town. By Colleen McCaffrey
If you live in San Francisco or a European city, chances are you've thought
about getting a scooter yoursel£ And if the quick dismount, humming vibra,
tions and ease of parking aren't reasons enough to straddle a scooter, the San
Francisco Scooter Girls, sassed out and revved up, might kick,
start your inspiration. Founded in 2004 by Jennifer Martinez, San
Francisco Scooter Girls reign as the only all,girl scooter club in
the Bay Area.
A popular form of urban cruising and independence, scooter,
ing isn't just an alternative mode of transportation. Driven by eco,
nomic, environmental and lifestyle choices, scooter owners enjoy their own
subculture. The SFSG hosts rallies-four day,long parties featuring riding
extravaganzas, social outings and events. Rallies lure new members and help
build lasting friendships and community awareness. The Big Wet One-a
rally named for the infamous San Francisco rainy season-meets in January
and features an inner,city ride and a three,bridge adventure ride. After the
Big Wet One, some of the ladies gear up for the slot action at February's Sin
City rally.
Marketing and public relations officer Naomi de la Mora,Carey, 32, joined
the club the day she bought her first scooter, Pedro-a 2005 Vespa ET 4. A
San Francisco transplant, de la Mora,Carey joined the ladies in search of new
friends in an unfamiliar city. And find them she did. Her favorite part of the
group is "the people that I've met, and (having) a sense of belonging to some,
thing you feel is important:'
The SFSG boasts close to 300 online members, and around 25 Big Patch
members, an honor reserved for riders who have been with the group for
more than four months and show support to the community and service to
the club, says SFSG president Julie Gantner. Appointed to the position in
56
I curve
October 2007, Gantner says "I wanted to give back to the club that had given
me so much:' Once a motorcycle rider, Gantner has traded muscle for her
dream scooter, a 2006 Vespa LX 150 decked out in traditional black with
leopard trim, which she calls Raven. It is her main form of transportation
despite the fact that she owns a car.
The trend of trading four wheels for two seems to be as omnipresent as
a hangover after tequila. De la Mora,Carey uses Pedro for most of her daily
driving, although she regularly gives Pedro a rest for a quick ride on Olive, her
vintage 1967 Vespa Super. De la Mora,Carey says her scootering"started out
as a practical way to get around the city, but turned into something I really,
really like doing:' In her dreams she's packing her bags, strapping up Pedro and
heading out for cross,country scooter shenanigans.
Not sure if you're a good enough driver, or worried that your scooter pales
next to the other gor,
geous bikes out there?
Fret not. 'i\ny girl, any
scooter" is the motto
SFSG lives by. On the
debate over vintage
versus modern scoot,
ers, Gantner enlight,
ens us: "People should
ride what they want to
ride and shouldn't be
hassled for that choice:'
De la Mora,Carey tells
us SFSG is here "to
provide a more open
group, so women wouldn't feel intimidated and scared riding, coming to
events and asking questions:•
SFSG may be a scooter group, but they're close allies of both the SF
Motorcyle Club and a Pride favorite, Dykes on Bikes. "We are honored that
for the last three Pride parades we have been riding with Dykes on Bikes, as a
club under our own banner;' says Gantner, who can't stress enough her pride
in the active, friendly and fun group.
SFSG meets Thursday evenings to talk shop about scooter safety and
maintenance and to share riding tips. The enthusiasm of the ladies of SFSG
is so contagious even the rain seems like something I'd be happy to feel splat,
tering on my face, as long as a 150 cc was purring between my legs. Even if you·
don't join, look out for these ladies hovering at stoplights, zipping past your
Muni bus window and crossing the Golden Gate Bridge en route to another
rally, with their wrists at full throttle and their leopard,print paraphernalia
blazing in the wind.
If you're scooter,less, try living vicariously: hang up the 2008 SFSG cal,
endar, which showcases these pothole,, cabby, and pedestrian,dodging babes
posing with their favorite scooters. ■
i::
er
c3
a..
:3
:i:
a..
ISYOUR CAR GAY?
Nobody likes a stereotype, but sometimes we admit, they ring a little true. No more so than
when it comes to our habits and buying decisions. Why? Lesbians vote with our pocketbooks, and in the past 20 years we've culturally agreed upon a handful of vehicles that really
speak to us. Sure, we know that 23 percent of us own trucks and another 42 percent own
SUV s*, but what other cars have been deemed gay by our friends? See if you can find your
own in this handy little list.
I ANYVOLVO
Besides the fact that I own one, I notice that lesbians crave reliability
and safety, which is the hallmark of a Volvo. I may get teased that buying a Volvo definitely proves I'm getting older (so not true, I'm going to
a party right after I finish writing this), but more and more the Volvo
driver in the next lane offers a Sapphic smile staring back at me.
THE SUBARU OUTBACK
Uh, duh. The "Lesbaru" has pretty much cornered the
market in lesbian love. I am never shocked when
I see two women, dogs in tow, clambering out
of their Outback. In fact, I expect it. Thanks
to a decade of dyke support, the Outback is
pretty darn predictably lesbian.
The truck is the handywoman's best friend, and as a lesbian
truck owner you'll be frequently asked to help move stuff every time one of your friends breaks up (hence the moniker, "dramamobile" that gets applied to trucks and SUV s). Ford, Chevy,
Toyota, it doesn't matter the brand, trucks have been reliable
companions to dykes throughout the ages. Note: They usually
comes with a rainbow sticker affixed to the back window.
A BRAND SPANKIN' NEW HYBRID
The hybrid is the new black. Er, I mean green. They get a lot of
lip-service love from us, though I haven't spotted many lesbians
driving them. But all I hear these days is "I want to get a hybrid;'
so it's only a matter of time.
S THE CITY BUS OR SUBWAY
Philosopher Homer Simpson once said, "Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians:'
He wasn't completely correct, but he certainly has a clue of what you usually find if you ride
public transportation. Whether it
is our commitment to the environment or our lack of committment
to car payments, you will usually find at least one lesbian on the
subway, bus or train. - Colleen
M.Lee
*According to the 2008 Lesbian
Consumer Index from Community
Marketing/Witek Combs.
April 2008
I 57
110111
TO BUYA RIOTORCYCIE
Tips to finding that perfect fit. By Jennifer Corday
sporty crotch rockets. Both have something to offer and vary greatly in price,
style and performance.
According to Long Beach, Cali£, lesbian T-Dawg, Harley-Davidson is the
only way to go. "Harleys are just cool. They're a legend. The American dream,
baby:' Harleys range from $7,000 to $40,000 and up. T-Dawg has got a Soft
Tail Deluxe 1440 cc, which apparently has got some balls. "It's nice to have a
little more power on the freeway, plus it's a bigger bike. You can probably do
120 or 130, but it's not about the speed-it's about cruising and looking cool.
You'll never find an identical bike ever;' she explains, "because the minute you
buy a Harley you change stuff. It's a very artsy kind of thing, a creative piece of
work, to customize your bike and make it your own. I added more chromenew handle bars and silver braided cables:'
The upgrades cost anywhere from 800
bucks to a couple thousand. "Especially on
Harleys;' T-Dawg explains, "people tweak
their engines and do all kinds of crazy shit. I
haven't tweaked my engine, but I'm gonna get
louder pipes. The louder the pipes, the more
the juices get flowing-I love 'em:' There are
clearly two camps in the loud pipes debate,
and the Harley girls definitely like to let them
roar. "It's a turn-on, number one;' T-Dawg
says, "and number two, it's a safety issue: The
If you're ready to rumble, be ready to do some research on the best bike for you.
I interviewed several dykes on bikes (and femmes with pipes) and found some
very different strategies in the search for the right hog. Whether it's a Harley, a
Beemer or a Kawasaki "crotch rocket;' I have a few tips from some real lesbian
bikers on the best way to find the perfect fit.
According to the Seattle Times, "Women account for at least 10 percent
of motorcyclists in the U.S. today, and they're the fastest-growing segment in
the graying $9.7 billion motorcycle industry:' About 15 percent of Kawasaki's
motorcycle sales are to women, the largest percentage in the industry; HarleyDavidson is second, with 12 percent of its sales going to women. And the
Richmond Times notes that women are getting plenty of encouragement from
manufacturers as the "fastest-growing segment of motorcycle buyers:' But
before you hit the dealers, do some research on what kind of motorcycle is
right for you. There are off-road and motocross bikes as well as big touring
bikes, but the most popular street bikes are the standard cruisers and the more
58
louder your pipes, the more others will hear
you on the road:'
Orange County-based Susan Arroyo
disagrees. "You can have the loudest pipes in
the world, but they might not hear you over
their radio. I wanted a smoother quieter ride:'
After visiting several Harley and Honda
dealerships, Arroyo discovered BMW and
was impressed with everything the Germans
had to offer. ''The bike came with full integral ABS brakes to help prevent
the front wheel from locking and tossing me off the bike during a hard stop:'
Antilock braking systems come as standard equipment on the BMW. "It was
optional on other brands, and some bikes didn't have ABS at all;' Arroyo notes.
Safety is a big factor in my book, so I am impressed with the Beemer thus far.
But Arroyo isn't done. 'i\nd, for my girly side-it has heated hand grips with
two levels, and a passenger seat that folds upright into a back rest for the rider.
The motorcycle's body style is unique in and of itsel£ like no other, and stands
out in the crowd. It was a done deal;' she concludes, with "safety,looks and all
at just under $16,200 out the door, which included a chrome package and fog
lamps-the 2004 BMW R1200 Classic was it for me:'
Before you run off and buy a cruiser, don't forget to check out the crotch
rockets, which have plenty to offer you sporty gals. Long Beach lesbian Kristi
Carroll owns a Kawasaki Ninja 500 that she bought for $4,700. 'i\t first, I
was torn between a cruiser and a sports bike, but I decided I'm not really
w
a:
!
ii,
Icurve
I
a chrome person:' Even butch girls like to accessorize. "I also like the matching gear. We can wear
more safety gear and make it look cool and match
the bike. I have a very colorful padded coat, elbow
pads and a colorful helmet:' Harley riders, Carroll
tells me, tend to wear smaller helmets and not as
Fifty-year-old
Gail
ness, and they got there different ways,
much protective gear, so they're not as safe. Safety
is a huge issue for Arroyo. "When you're ready to
Bowen left the force nearly a decade ago to
whether they knew somebody or worked
care for her terminally ill mother. The years
away from the force left her reassessing her
their way up through the live shows, like
at amusement parks and that type of thing.
profession. Intrigued by stories of the difficulties women endure as stunt doubles-they
I can just tell you how I got there, which
Foundation, which provides rider education and
training courses throughout the country:'T-Dawg
agrees: "If you're just starting out and never rid-
often work twice as hard, wearing less padding
to maintain a feminine appearance, than their
is taking every class, learning everything I
could and meeting everybody I could in the
industry. But even then it's a very hard road
den, you should always take a motorcycle safety
male counterparts-she
decided to train as
to get into (stunt work]. I trained probably
course. I took one at the college. For a beginner,
it's good to learn how to lean and how to handle
the bike:'
a stunt person for her second career. Bowen
now works as a stunt double and at Bobby Ore
six months to a year before I even got my
first job, and it was another six months af-
Motorsports as a high-performance driving
instructor. She shares her thoughts on every-
ter that before I got the second one. It took
Carroll took a motorcycle class and met another lesbian she befriended. "We ended up shopping
for bikes together. It made it more comfortable
thing from her experience teaching soldiers on
their way to Iraq to her preference in lesbian
to go buying with someone. In the end, we both
movies. - HilaryKyle
ended up buying the same bike:' Carroll chose the
Ninja 500 because it was easier to maneuver than
What do you teach at Bobby Ore?
the larger bikes, but still large enough to feel safe
I teach stunt driving, military groups and
at high speeds. "The bigger the engine the bigger
the bike, and I didn't feel comfortable on those-I
law enforcement. We get military personnel, sometimes right before they deploy. I
love working with them, they are the most
purchase a motorcycle, I suggest taking the basic rider's course through the Motorcycle Safety
wanted the smallest one that could still go on the
freeway:' Many brands are catering to women
by offering smaller frames that are closer to the
ground and easier to handle.
Take your time to decide which one fits your
personality, your budget and your style. Arroyo
loves the freedom of riding and usually puts on
steel-toed boots above her ankle, jeans and a tank
before revving her engine. "I ride with my friends
to Cook's Corner in Trabuco Canyon, along PCH
[the Pacific Coast Highway] to soak up the sun, or
out to the Abbey in WeHo for brunch. I sometimes
hit Ortega Highway to test my nerves around the
curves, and, of course, the Long Beach and San
Diego Pride Parades. It's always an awesome ride:'
As for the girls, all three of them admit that owning a motorcycle is a real chick magnet. "It's a good
conversation starter;'.Carroll admits."They like the
gear:' Arroyo's bike has already scored. "The only
upgrade I plan to make is a passenger seat for my
new girlfriend:' ■
former
police
major
intense group to teach; they really, really
want to learn. So many of them are killed
driving, we teach them how to use a vehicle
as protection, as a weapon and for safety.
You gotta care about what you're teaching
and what they need to know, because you
know where they are going and what they
have to do.
Are you out and open about your sexuality
at work?
At first I wasn't because I wasn't sure how it
would be accepted. In the entertainment
a long time to be able to build up and be
able to even think about doing it full-time.
You've branched out into directing and
producing as well?
I guess I was disappointed with a lot of the
movies that I've seen. I kept saying, "You
know, I can write something like that:'
And then I tried it. I have some friends
who are really great writers and they really
helped me a lot. I really want to get into
making good movies for lesbians, an action
romance. I was out at a gay and lesbian
film festival and that's what I heard, that
nobody does those or writes those kinds of
movies... nothing with good stories and action where the couples happen to be women.
What would your dream project be?
To get to direct an action movie for lesbians
and hopefully get to do some of the stunts
for it as well.
What message would you want to share
with lesbian audiences in your films?
industry it's a little more common and
accepted, I guess you would say, so recently
I think the biggest thing is in most of the gay
movies that I've ever watched it's mostly all
in the last couple of years I've been very out.
It was very well-accepted and it was actually
much easier than I thought it would be.
Do you have any advice for women who
about a girl meeting a girl. That's a typical
gay movie-it's all about the relationship,
not just about life. I'd like to see just regular movies, whether it be action adventure,
want to try stunt work?
whatever the stories are, where their being
gay isn't the story, it's just natural. ■
I have a lot of friends that got into the busi-
April 2008
I 59
,nx1cn1conr1ss1ons
Driving a cab in the Big Apple. By Kristin A. Smith
Melissa Plaut is regularly honked at, yelled at and spit on. One time, a man exposed his penis to her at a busy intersection. Another time, someone smashed
her car window while she was in the car. And this is all just part of the job-a
job she can't imagine giving up.
Plaut, 32, is a New York City cabdriver-one of only 400 female "hacks" in
a sea of 40,000 yellow cabs. With her hipster haircut, worn-out T-shirts and
boutique jeans, she looks like she'd be more comfortable sitting in a cafe than
behind the wheel.
But Plaut is tough. "You know, you can't really be too sensitive and you
can't take things too personal;' she says. "That was part of my downfall in the
beginning:' Plaut isn't a newbie anymore; she has been driving a cab for nearly
four years now.
In her years as a cabbie, Plaut has built up an arsenal of war stories-the
guy who hailed her cab to pick up drugs in a shady-looking park, the lovers
who asked to have sex in the backseat, the man who refused to tell her where
but Plaut has stayed with the company for her entire career.
Among the other cast of characters are Paul, "the crazy Romanian dispatcher;' Ricky, who smells of urine and prophesies that Plaut will be driving
a cab for the rest of her life and Harvey /Helen, a cross-dressing driver who's
Plaut's closest ally.Plaut is the only biological woman in the company.
Plaut's gender is a common topic of conversation in her cab. People's reactions to her are as varied as the people themselves. Some question her ability
to go and then urged her not to kill any kittens.
'J\.fter a while, it's hard to distinguish between what's weird and what isn't;'
Plaut says.
Plaut's job is a revolving door of outrageous characters, possibly dangerous encounters and moments of pure humanity. All of these adventures are
chronicled in her book, HACK: How I Stopped Worrying About What to Do
With My Life and Started Driving a Yellow Cab.
The book is as much about navigating the 6,400 miles of New York City's
streets as it is about navigating her own existential journey. Plaut begins the
book as a confused young woman, floating from one mind-numbing job to
another, and ends up the hero and author of her own choose-your-ownadventure story.
to drive; others applaud her as a femiPlaut's odyssey began after a
.. THAt·s IIIHEn I IIIAS IIKE. rORGET IT ....
not
layoff from her advertising job.
nist icon. As for Plaut herself, she says,
GOlnG TO IIIRITE....
not GOlnG TO IE An
"The only real difference... is where
The unemployment benefits gave
her time to decide what to do with
we pee. I mean, in desperate times,
AD AGEnCY PERSOn....
not GOlnG TO BE A
the rest of her life, a question that
I would have happily peed on the
MAGAZlnE PERSOn. r ■ JUSTGOlnG TO IE THIS
street ... That's a lot easier for men:'
even as a child she was reluctant to
PERSOnIIIHO DOES THESEADYEnTURES.••
answer.
Beyond Plaut's minority status
"I realized that I was just doing
among cab drivers being both white
whatever was available, rather than choosing my own destiny. That's when I
and a woman, she is also gay. In the book, little attention is given to Plaut's
was like, Forget it, I'm not going to write. I'm not going to be an ad agency sexuality, but little attention is given to any part of her life outside the cab.
person. I'm not going to be a magazine person. I'm just going to be this person
One critic panned Plaut's book because it lacked any development of the
who does these adventures;' says Plaut.
author's sexuality and its impact on her job."I just had to laugh at the absolute
Becoming a cab driver was first on her new adventures list. "I was scared to
hypocrisy and inanity of that;' says Plaut. "You tell me how being straight has
death, I took a great leap and enrolled myself in taxi school;' says Plaut. "It was, affected your career choice and I'll tell you how being gay has affected mine.
in a way, the most important thing I'd ever done:•
Because it's probably the same-it hasn't:'
Plaut received her hack license on her 29th birthday, joined a family-run
Most of the reviews of HACK have been positive, and the success of the
fleet in Long Island City and began her 12-hour shifts immediately. Lenny, book has taken Plaut away from her cab. But she vows to always keep her hack
reportedly the real-life inspiration for Taxi's Louie de Palma, rules the garage. license current. "I don't know if I can ever totally leave it;' she says."I think I'd
He is a small, gruff man who is prone to door slamming and explosive outmiss that kind of contact with the city. I feel a certain intimacy with New York.
bursts. Lenny's temper has caused many drivers to leave for kinder companies,
That's something that I will never stop craving:' ■
60 Icurve
DRIYIAGWITHOUT
OWAIAG
Get around in green style. By Victoria A. Brownworth
There are cities where owning a car simply does not make sense: New York
City, Washington, D.C., and San Francisco immediately come to mind. To
such questions as, where do you put the car? Where do you park it? Do you
really need to own one? And, what about the insurance?-sometimes
an
answer comes along that is just so great, you wonder what took it so long.
France has the right idea. In January, Bertrand Delanoe, the mayor of
Paris, came up with the idea of providing 2,000 electric cars that could just be
borrowed, without a previous rental arrangement. Called Voiturlib, the program offers cars for the non-polluters for only a few euros per hour, depending
on mileage. Delanoe debuted a similar plan with electric bicycles in July 2007.
We haven't reached that level of sophistication yet, but we do have Zipcar
(it merged with Flexcar in late 2007) and a host of smaller agencies, like
PhillyCarShare (phillycarshare.com) where I live.
Zipcar was created in 1999 for the express purpose of making all kinds
of vehicles available for a fee, for any length of time-a few hours or a whole
weekend-in cities across the country (zipcar.com). Need to get groceries for
the week and the bicyclejust can't handle the load? Rent a Zipcar.
Flexcar began in university and college towns and spread out from there.
And Flexcar catered to businesses as well, managing to cut into the more
established rental car business. Flexcar emphasized its green message: Fewer
cars means a better environment. It used only fuel-efficient vehicles and
offered its own green membership.
Zipcar and the smaller independent agencies like them work pretty
much like Nedlix or your local video
store. Unlike regular car rental agencies such as Hertz, Avis or Enterprise,
Zipcar has a time-sensitive philosophy: Why rent for a full day if you
don't have to? Plus, Zipcar focuses on
accessibility: Unlike the larger rental
car places that are generally at airports
or in the business district of major
cities, Zipcar outlets are, to quote its
mission statement, "in most neighborhoods, as plentiful as ATMs:'
The principle is uniquely uncomplicated. Any licensed driver can sign
up to get a car anytime, and almost
anywhere. The cars are available in cities all over the country, the fees payable
either by monthly subscription or per
use. You are issued a key card, which
you can then use on any Zipcar. And
you don't have to return the car to the
same place. Youjust have to return it to
a Zipcar outlet.
Wow. How great is that?
There are few dissatisfied Zipcar users out there because, well, the system
is practically perfect. The setup is streamlined for user-friendliness. You fill
out the application online. You book your vehicle online with a schedule that
shows you maps, cars, their availability in time by vehicle, the costs and so
forth. Most users can pick up their car within a half hour of booking it. A far
cry from the hours-long wait at most rental agencies.
Sometimes you need a car for an emergency. Not a go-to-the-hospital
emergency, but to pick up a friend at the airport or to run essential errands
that your girlfriend, who has the car, was supposed to run but can't because
she's working late. You need a car right away, but yo!-1don't need it for long.
Even though my best friend has her own car, a subcompact, she belongs to
PhillyCarShare because she wants to be able to go to Ikea and buy furniture.
It's a two-hour rental versus a full day at U-Haul. What a money saver!
But there are other reasons to have a Zipcar membership. Like being
able to go out with friends to a venue where you just don't want to take the
subway, and a bus or a taxi is out of the question. Or sometimes you want to
try a different car from the one you own, but a test drive off the lot doesn't
really tell you much. Zipcar, PhillyCarShare and other similar agencies have
a range of cars, from Mini Coopers (so cute), to Toyota Prius hybrids (one
way to test the hybrid technology), to small trucks and minivans. Spending
a few hours or a day in a different car will give you a
better feel for it.
So far, the only downside to Zipcar and the smaller agencies is that they aren't everywhere. They are
still clustered in California, Arizona and Vancouver,
on the West Coast and in the Northeast and the
coastal Southeast. Minneapolis (always hip and
happening) has Zipcar, as does Chicago. There's also
an outlet in Toronto. New outlets are being added all
the time, however, so if there isn't one near you, there
will probably be one soon.
The rates for rentals vary from city to city and
there is always a one-time, $25 registration fee. But
the rental fee covers gas, insurance and maintenance.
There is never more than the flat fee, whereas with
other car rentals you must rent for the entire day
and pay for insurance, gas and mileage. The Zipcar
plan costs from $9 an hour to $69 a day, depending
on whether you are a casual user or pay the monthly
rental fee of $50 for frequent rentals. The website
explores what your needs for a car might be, and how
the service can best provide for you.
Talk about user-friendly.
The side benefit to the car-share plans is that they
build community, as sharing always does. And it's
affordable, too. ■,
April 2008
I61
GET YOUR IIOTOR RUnn1nG
One lost, lonely night on a motorcycle in China. By Carla King
Our wheels scatter a blanket of golden aspen leaves across the road as we crest
hot water. We would have brought sleeping bags and tents, if we'd known we
the mountain pass and see a long stretch of the Great Wall of China. It's lit by
were going to pass through such wilderness.
Teresa moves to the front. She's fluent in Mandarin and can read the signs
a cold, stark sunlight, and the big, round watchtowers loom over an endless
sea of mountains soft with autumn colors. A wild pheasant with bad timing
flies directly across my path. I brake and stiffen in readiness for a hard blow to
the helmet, but its tail feathers only brush against my visor.
that are no longer in both Chinese characters and Pinyin. Not that there's an
overabundance of road signs.
Diny rides too close, her headlight in my left mirror nearly blinds me as
we curve around a mountain. Maybe she'll back off if I slow
to a crawl and then accelerate; but no, she hangs on, probably immersed in the kind of internal dialogue that monotony
encourages. Finally, in frustration,
I wave her ahead, then
immediately regret it as she races up to tailgate Teresa. I speed
up to tailgate Diny for a minute, my headlights in her mirrors,
then drop back, hoping she'll see that she needs to create more
space, but she doesn't.
My body is stiff from sitting in the same position for so
long in the cold and from being jarred by the vibration of the
engine and the thumps in the road. I catalog each ache and
pain, each shoulda woulda coulda, and then realize that I
really must stop this before I spiral down into useless misery.
I remember the lessons of a Vipassana meditation course I
took a year ago and give it a whirl, beginning the slow, tedious
exercise of scanning the body, noting sensations from the top
of my head to the tips of my toes and back again, ignoring
itches and pains that are not in the proximity of my immediate
attention. It is not as easy as it sounds.
The results are surprising. The crown of my head is warm,
my hair is plastered against my forehead, my left ear is bent
We all ride Chinese Changjiang motorcycles with big sidecars full of gear
for our ride from Beijing through the mountains of Hebei Province to Inner
backward inside my helmet, there's a leak in my jacket zipper that's letting
in a pinhole of icy air, elbows are good, fingertips are freezing and numb, my
Mongolia. Following me is Teresa, a diplomat from Michigan I met here on
my last visit a decade ago, and Diny, a Dutchwoman who's just moved to
rear end aches, both knees are stiff, one little toe tingles, a big toe is jammed
hard against my boot. I scan, become aware, resist assigning a value to these
Beijing with her hotelier husband, who brings up the rear.
At the last town, we were told that our destination was only about 80
sensations-pleasure
or pain, it will always change-anicca.
Anicca is a Sanskrit word that means impermanence. More than that
though, it implies the state of inevitable change, so there's no use assigning
kilometers and one hour away, but that was wrong, and our maps are clearly
a value, or a judgment to a sensation or
out-of-date. We ride slowly along
a situation, because it's going to pass.
this twisty mountain backroad lined
I
CATAlOG
EACH
ACHE
AnD
PAln.
EACH
with small lakes and streams and
Somehow, sometime, it's going to pass.
SHOUlDAWOUlDACOUlDA. ARDTHEnRE·
"It'll pass when you die;' my inner
wooded groves. At dusk I long for
the miracle of a lodge where we can
stop for the night and a trailhead
where we might hike for a few hours
AUii THATI REAUYmus, STOPTHISBEfORE
I SPIRAlDown 1n,o UHlEH ffllHRY.
in the morning, enjoying the clean,
cold air and the untouched wilderness. But this is not the Colorado Rockies
or the Swiss Alps. This is China.
Darkness falls and it's a long, cold and tedious ride. We should have tried
to find a hotel in that last small town; now we're too far away to turn back.
There might only have been a luguan, with no-frills bunk beds and maybe no
62lcurve
voice taunts.
"Shut up;' I mutter, fogging my visor.
I love motorcycling because it puts
me right in the environment I am pass-
ing through, not sheltered from it. But in this kind of situation I wish for
a nice warm car with a heater and some good music. The road rises in long
sweeps through woodlands that I wish I could see instead of just sense. The
countryside we passed through earlier in the day was spectacular. We stopped
for a long time at a farmers' market, gorging ourselves on persimmons, Asian
BIODIEJEIBABES
pears, and plump purple grapes. We paused to photograph the Great Wall,
yellow and jagged against the deep blue sky, an arrangement of dry yellow
corn on a windowsill, a group of men immersed in a game of Mah Jong.
On the first long, empty, straight stretch of road we gunned our engines,
testing the horsepower of our machines, the cold autumn sun in our faces.
We raced up the first set of switchbacks, the sidecars tilting up on the right
turns, bearing down on the left. We are free and lighthearted in the daytime. At night, everything is different.
Vipassana is a meditation technique invented by the Buddha. With it,
if you're sufficiently motivated and tired of being reincarnated, you might
achieve such complete realization of the concept of anicca that you no longer experience clinging or craving or aversion, which can lead to a profound
state of acceptance and a peace that is enlightenment.
I don't expect to achieve enlightenment on this road in the dark in the
mountains of China, but it's a good practice for controlling emotions gone
awry. I'm riding, exploring, adventuring, freely roaming the world. But the
road to freedom is riddled with traps. Where does true freedom exist?
Scanning: Cold, numb, cramp, vibration, pain, warmth, stiffness.
Anicca.
A truck barrels down the road, flashing its brights, blinding me.
Anicca.
My ear is going to crack off.
Anicca.
How much farther is that damn town:'
Anicca.
An hour later, the town throws down a four-lane road
and we ride toward a cluster of brightly-lit highrises, through
a welcoming chaos of cars and stop lights and people just
walking around, as if this isn't a terrifyingly lost place but
normal and warmly familiar.
The manager of our hotel leads us to a restaurant where
we take a private room and warm our hands on cups of hot
green tea before ordering dish after dish of food and bottles
of beer and tiny cups of rice wine. Locals peek in to get a load
of this-the three disheveled, clearly crazed foreign women
who arrived on motorcycles.
I tell the story of the pheasant who nearly flew into my
head. Teresa nearly ran over a man carrying two buckets of
water on a stick across his shoulders. "I was so bored;' Diny
says. "You know, I was thinking about so many things, I was
doing my Kegels ... " We dissolve into laughter, drunk on beer,
rice wine and relief. Now we wouldn't trade our bikes for a
car, a bus, even a limousine with a driver. We raise our glasses
and toast to whatever may come tomorrow. Anicca. ■
This excerpt was adapted from Carla King's upcoming hook
Under the Radar in China. For more information visit
MotorcycleMisadventures.com.
"The only way to make a living is to work for yourself," Michelle
Swiggers heard from her father as she was growing up. At 29,
she's decided to take the plunge, but not alone. Swiggers' partner, Robin Gold, has driven a biodiesel car for more than three
years, so when they decided to put their passion for the environment and sustainability to work for themselves, they decided to
open a biodiesel filling station.
Biofuel, derived from biological elements instead of fossil fuels,
burns cleaner than oil-based fuel. Made from used vegetable oils
and animal fat, biofuel offers a sustainable alternative to gasoline
and actually runs through diesel engines with little adaptation.
Swiggers and Gold live in San Francisco, where a mobile fuel
truck is the only local biofuel source. Other Bay Area biofuel stations are located in Berkeley, Santa Cruz and San Jose, but the
couple's vision for their business, called Dogpatch Biofuels, includes a retail store stocked with sustainable products as well as
space for classes on installing biodeisel filters and making your
own biofuel.
Initially daunted by the idea of running her own business,
Swiggers drew on her years of experience working for independent messenger companies. Swiggers also studied the business
model of Biofuel Oasis, a woman-owned cooperative biodiesel
station in Berkeley, and regularly meets with the San Francisco
Biofuel Cooperative. So far, finding a lot has proved to be the most
difficult part of the process, but the couple worked with a green
realtor and finally found space that satisfied their needs.
Dogpatch Biofuels plans to purchase fuel from a plant that
produces and sells to the public instead of making it themselves
because of the high ASTM standards, ensuring a high-quality fuel
that won't damage engines.
Along with providing a
quality product· to the public, the couple wants to raise
awareness. Says Swiggers,
"We really don't want to be
the same kind of business as
the gas stations. That is why
we want to incorporate it as a
cooperative. There is a potential that big oil companies will
start to sell biodiesel and we
want to stand apart from that.
There are several ways to produce biodiesel. It can be done
in mass quantity-shipped
in
from Malaysia. This is counterproductive. We want to
promote the use of alternative
fuel produced sustainably and
locally."
These gals want a successful business, but above all, they
want to promote a sustainable
lifestyle. - Jenna V. Loceff
April 2008
I63
110111
TO CIIAnGEA rlATTIRE
Even you girly girls can do it. By Jennifer Corday
PIARI
Step1: Curse loudly. Keep driving slowly until you
can safely pull over to the side of the road where
the ground is level and firm. Never change a tire in
a dangerous place-it's better to drive on your rim
and get to a safe place than to get yourself killed.
Put your car in park, engage the parking brake,
turn on your hazard lights and get out to look at
the flat. Curse again.
Step2: Get the stuff you're gonna need: the spare
tire (let's hope you have one of these and that it has
air), the jack (thing that lifts the car), a tire iron
(crow-bar-looking thing or a shiny cross-shaped
thing), an optional pipe (also called a cheater
bar-it's for better leverage, but you don't really
need this), optional wheel chocks (this is an item
that will keep your car from rolling and is also not
entirely necessary) and gloves (these will protect
your nails).
Step3: Place the wheel chocks on both sides of the
OK, ladies, it's going to happen to you sooner or later ... pop, thwakety, thwakety, thwakety ... you're on the freeway and your tire blows. Or maybe your
bitter ex slashes your tires at the club while you're inside dancing. Either way,
you've got a flat and you're stranded. Thank the lord goddess Isis for this handy
issue of CURVE magazine with Plan A and Plan B step-by-step instructions on
what to do.
PlARA
Step1: Call AAA.
Step 2: Call one of your girlfriends and chat until she
comes.
Easy, huh? Membership in AAA is the best 60 bucks
you'll spend in a year. Along with free emergency roadside service, you'll get nifty road maps, travel trips, insurance offers, auto loans, hotel discounts and more. Use it
once in an emergency and it pays for itsel£ trust me.
But in case you don't have AAA, or are out of cell
service, here is a step-by-step guide to changing a flat
yourself.
Jessica Sarah Abbott (on the phone) is stranded in
Orange County, Calif. Dee comes to her rescue from
Riverside.
64
Icurve
tire that is diagonally opposite from the flat tire.
For example, if your rear driver-side tire is flat, secure
the front passenger-side tire. If you don't have wheel chocks, you can use a rock
or a dead body.
Step4:Take off the hubcap if you have one. (It's the shiny thing on the wheel.)
Then loosen the lug nuts (little screwy things holding the wheel on). The nuts
will be tough to loosen, so don't be afraid to bear down and use some muscle.
By adding a pipe over the end of the tire tool,
you'll get some extra leverage.Loosen the nuts,
skipping every other one, until you've worked
your way around the wheel. Loosen the nuts
only a couple of turns each. But don't take
them off just yet-you don't want the wheel
to come off before you have the jack in place.
Step5:Jack up the car. Your car manual will.
show you the proper positioning of the jack.
Stick it under there and crank it up-you'll
be surprised how easy it is to lift the car. Even
you girly girls can do it!
Step6:Now you can remove the lug nuts (put
them in a safe place) and remove the flat. Set
the flat aside. Get the spare.
IT CURYEffllG.COffl
---..
DRIVE LIKE THE WORLD IS ENDING
I'm not sure when I first knew about the link between cars and
Step 7: Put the spare tire on with the
the end of the world, but I certainly had a preview of it the first
air valve facing out and screw the lug
nuts back on, skipping every other one,
until you've gone all the way around the
wheel.
time I was on assignment in Los Angeles. It was November,
but the air looked like it does in high summer on the East
Coast-smoggy, dense, unbreathable. No one walks in L.A.,
so it had to be the cars. Millions of them.
Step8: Lower the car and tighten the lug
In the years since I fully realized that correlation, I have
done everything possible to drive like the world is ending and
nuts even tighter, using your pipe for lever~
age, and remove the jack.
like I can do just a little bit to put the brakes on that process.
I've only owned three cars in my life. The first was a tri-color Detroit junker I bought for $600 that needed an inordinate
Step 9: Replace the hubcap or center
cover, if you have one. Bang it on with
your fist.
amount of oil and transmission fluid, but which got me where
I needed to go for about two years before it finally died. Then I
drove my ex-wife's VW Rabbit for years until it finally died.
In 1994 I bought my current car, which in 1994, pre-hybrid
Step 10: Clean up your mess and don't
technology, was the EPA's most fuel-efficient car-45/39-and
forget your flat tire-you will need the
rim. You can drive off and celebrate now,
is still ranked as one of the most fuel-efficient cars ever made
by GM. Want to read more of this article from political essayist
but don't go too fast if you have a crappy
spare. Get to a tire store fairly soon to
have the flat fixed or buy a new tire. ■
Victoria A. Brownworth? Go to Curvemag.com now.
10 RIDES I WANT NOW
I'm a self-admitted car nut.
I grew up under my father's
tutelage, learning how to
take apart and reassemble
an engine for my first and
only Girl Scout badge before I had even reached
my teens. Our lawns were
always littered with cars
Smart Fortwo
he was rebuilding, from
classic Corvettes to even
more classic Model Ts, and I was always by his side lending a
lug wrench or sniffing the putty (that's another story). And so,
at an early age I mastered the art of the car show. Every weekend, it seemed, we would venture out to some car show-part
gallery, part rally, part pure car talk-to see what was new and
what was refurbished. This year, I hit the shows alone in hom-
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age to my Pops and found that there are even more cars to
love now. Hence, my list of 1O new vehicles I can't help but adore, including
the Smart Fortwo, a car developed in
partnership with Mercedes and Swatch,
which sells for under $12,000. Want to
see what Diane Anderson-Minshall discovered and why she can't stop talking
about the Smart car? Well, just go to
Curvemag.com. ■
April 2008
I 65
A nEWKlnD or monSTERfflASII
Nothing is sexier than a woman who drives a monster truck. By Jennifer Corday
Twenty-eight-year-old Candice Jolly can crush Cadillacs. She can pop a skywheelie and burn one mean donut. The adorable 5-foot-3-inch brunette
makes it all look easy in her 10,000 pound, 10-foot high, black-and-white
monster truck, affectionately named "Monster Mutt Dalmatian:• As one of
only three females in the sport, Candice Jolly is a pioneer, paving the way for
women drivers, with one badass bite to her bark.
Jolly was only 8 years old when her dad took her go-kart racing, and she
was immediately hooked. "Everyone was telling my dad I should be home
playing with dolls, but he would always tell them, 'She can do anything these
boys can do!"' Jolly has been racing ever since~ and started doing Monster
Jam tours two years ago. She just completed a European tour where she
competed in Belgium, the United Kingdom and Holland. "I won a few races
last year;• says Jolly, 'J\.nd I've been in the finals every single time this year:•
Unfortunately, mechanical problems plagued the Dalmatian in the finals, and
she was stopped short twice before going all the way."We had some bad luck
with the truck. The rear steering went out in the first round, we blew a transmission up in the second one and then we finally won the last one:•
The truck was actually designed with Jolly in mind. "They wanted to do
a new spin on it, so they designed the truck as a Dalmatian, with black and
white spots, floppy ears and a tail. I attended the Monster Jam in Anaheim
and witnessed firsthand the incredible response from the fans, young and
old, when the Monster Mutt revved its engine and jumped onto the field to
the tune of "Who Let the Dogs Out:' Jolly was inspiring with huge carcrushingjumps and plenty of air on the freestyle. "I wasn't really happy with
66
Icurve
that performance;' she admits, surprisingly. "It had been raining so the course
was wet. You couldn't get any good runs from the obstacles so I just couldn't
get the air I wanted to get:' Hell, the crowd was impressed.
Jolly has an adorable spiky butch haircut and a sweet voice that you
wouldn't expect out of a driver of a steel car-crushing machine. She lives
in Naples, Fla., where she raises her '3-year-old son, 'Tm a single mom. You
could say I'm very strong and independent:' The 115-pound cutie has had to
overcome plenty of doubt from others when she first entered the sport. "It's
definitely a male-driven sport, so they look at us differently. A lot of people
first thought we didn't belong. They thought, 'What are these little Barbie
dolls doing out here?'"
To compensate for her size, Jolly's small body frame has to be in tip-top
shape to handle the driving, and she wears special harnesses to keep her
locked in. "I wear a R3 hybrid; it was made special for me. Your body takes a
beating so thank God we have harnesses. The bigger guys can drive without
one, but I have to have one:• I watched the truck roll and slam into the grou~d
repeatedly and can only imagine the trauma. "The truck takes hard side slaps
and nose dives-it will take really hard hits, you just have to be as tough as
they are:•
As a small woman in a giant male-driven sport, minority groups of all
kinds are earning respect and adoration for the fiery little trucker. Jolly realizes she may be seen as an underdog and that many fans enjoy supporting her
for this very reason. "I think people can relate;' she says. "I do just what the
boys do, but I do it in high heels and lace:•■
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You don't have to be insane to drive a train. But it helps. By Sara Seinberg
Bay Area Rapid Transit opened its groundbreaking electric doors for business on Sept. 11, 1972. Sarah Cadwallader and Kelly Beardsley hadn't even
been walking very long at that time, but since then they have just about written the metaphorical book on working in the field of transportation. Before
arriving for her first day on the job as a BART train operator, Beardsley
hauled packages around town in her truck as a courier, drove a school bus full
of hyperactive kids and helmed a yellow
AAA towtruck with a halo around the
logo, performing locksmithing miracles
for scores of adoring members.
"That was a pretty good job. When
you work for AAA, everyone is happy
to see you. You're always the big hero. I
think if it paid more, I'd still have that
job; but I really spent my whole life
dreaming about a city job. It's a working-class thing. That's the way I grew up.
People around me always worked toward
a solid city job or government position,
and it still seems like the best gig for me.
I always wanted security and a pension:'
With her newly minted Amalgamated
Transit Union card, Local 1555, in hand, she's got her
dream job with BART. "I can tell you already, I'm never
leaving this gig:'
"Kelly, you've only been driving for like three weeks;'
says our lesbian tea companion Cadwalleder in her patented deadpan Brit reply. She sips her herbal tea and
fixes her baseball hat, laughing.
"I know, but I'm telling you, I'm done. I got just the
job I always wanted. Well, I did think about becoming a
Teamster and driving trucks. I like the alone time:•
Cadwallader knows all about alone time on the
BART train. She began driving the trains five years ago after her job as an airplane mechanic came to an end."I got laid off after 9/11. Before that I worked
for FedEx. I collect uniforms:' And even though she says that in jest, she found
herself a new uniform when she made her way through the three and a half
months of BART training to land in a kind of conductor onesie getup.
Aside from the deep fashion satisfaction (queers have had a documented,
long-standing love affair with uniforms), the job provides great health insurance and a free transit pass. And the job brought Cadwallader and Beardsley
together after they'd circled around the same city for over a decade.
When Beardsley first heard she'd be going into training, word hit the lesbian grapevine and common pals mentioned to Cadwallader there'd be another butch behind the control panel in the classroom-the training car, that
is. Cadwallader signed up to be an instructor, met Beardsley and taught her
how to run the rails.
"It's a big job;' Beardsley says.
"It is;' Cadwallader agrees. "You really have to know everything about the
safety of operating the cars because people's lives are in your hands. Most of
the time the cars run on automatic, but they can't do anything without us. We
pull into the stations and open the doors, and the train won't move unless
we dose them. We monitor all the systems and have three computers running: the main one, a backup and a backup of the backup. So
if anything at all is irregular, we have to know how to operate
things manually:'
Since 1972, women have been doingjust that. BART's long
history of progressive hiring practices started back before the
third rail ever had voltage running through it. On Jan. 27 of
its opening year, the San Francisco Human Rights Commission
presented the BART District Board of Directors with a commendation for its positive policy on fair employment practices.
Another part of the attraction of securing a job at such a
huge organization is that the possibility of learning different
things is built in to the profession. "I don't think about getting bored much;' Cadwallader says. "If I want a break from
being solitary, I can sign up to
do trainings and teach people
in the classes. I could get a
job in one of the yards building the trains or taking chem
apart when they go from five
car trains _in midday to 10 car
trains in rush hour. Plus, the
people who work there are diverse and interesting:'
"Yeah, I met this one woman while I was training. She's
still here and she was like the
tenth woman to be hired as a
driver in 1972. She had a bunch of great stories:'
"It's true. The job provides a good life in so many ways, people stay on for a
long time. It makes for some interesting talk in the breakrooms;' Cadwallader
says. Both drivers say they like to spend their breaks doing other things besides sitting in the lounge and watching a big television.
It's important to stay sharp on a job in the public transportation world.
Bue unlike driving a car, the attention required has a different slant. "It's
weird;' Beardsley says, "After all those years of driving buses and trucks and
everything there is to drive, all of a sudden I don't have to look both ways
anymore. You know, you're driving a train so the traffic isn't a concern. You
are looking for people, watching the controls and you get to set your watch
to military time:'
•
She and Cadwallader crack up and Cadwallader holds up her watch,
which reads 18:15. She has to get to sleep to be up at 4:40 to drive the train. ■
April 2008
I
67
Reviews Sapphic Screen
Flawsand All
The Hottie and ButchJamie find love right under their noses. I By Candace Moore
THE GREAT
GAY ESCAPE
Asreligiousfundamentalistorganizations
continueto pummel
queerAmericans
with
theirbeliefin reparative
therapy(toturnfolks
fromgayto straight),a
numberof individuals
havestartedoffering
a counterpoint.
It's a
perspective
supported
by logicandscience,
andnowthreenew
queer-themed
works.
InAbomination:
Homosexuality
and
theEx-Gay
Movement
(aglp.org),
AliciaSalzer
is anM.D.whoturns
herlensonconversion
therapies,
profiling
fourgayChristians
whounderwent
them
andthesometimes
heartbreaking
effectsof
everything
fromshock The newest Paris Hilton vehicle has something in common with
therapyandhypnosis
to Michelle Ehlen's indie Tootsiefor dykes: Both comedies skewer
gendercoaching,
sham cultural ideas about the importance of physical appearance.
marriages
andparental
disapproval.
Joining The Hattie and the Nottie (Regent Releasing): The
Abomination
aretwo very language of the title seems to come from a 6,year,old
newbooksworthyof who picks scabs and ~ats them. Lo and behold, grade school
note:WayneR.Besen's is actually where this modern fairytale of the "princess and
AnythingButStraight the dragon;' as one character lovingly refers to BFFs Cristabel
andEx-GayResearch,
(Paris Hilton) and June (Christine Lakin), begins. Scab eating,
editedbyJack
or infected,toenail tasting, as the case may be, also aptly cap,
Drescher
andKenneth
J. Zucker(haworth- tures director Tom Putnam's gross,out aesthetic in this There's
press.com).
- Diane Something About Mary,ish comedy. Scrawny slacker Nate
Anderson-Minshal Cooper (Joel David Moore) has physically matured since the
age of 6, but emotionally, not so much. He revisits his child,
hood crush in Los Angeles, thinking she's the "one who got
away;' and finds Cristabel Abbott's grown up to look a lot like
Paris Hilton, replete with a small cult of restraining,ordered
stalkers. Now, decades later, the Barbie lookalike has the same
inseparable best friend,June Figg, who wears smelly tube socks
and is positioned as the "ugly" obstacle to Nate's quest, since
68
I curve
Cristabel has sworn off dating until June finds her first shot at
love. After shelling out thousands of dollars for spa treatment
gift certificates, in hopes of "flipping" June, Nate realizes, after
she's had wart, hair and tooth,grime removal, that it's June he
really digs after all. Go figure. Hitting all the generic plot points
of a straight romantic comedy about finding love where you
least expect it, this film simultaneously guts the cliches it rides
in on. However, like Hollywood clockwork, it ends up rein,
stating "face values" by the time the hour strikes midnight. As
the moral of the story-looking past superficialities-surfaces,
it becomes clearer that Nate doesn't deserve smart and sassy
June; he gets the hots for her only after she's been made over.
The Hottie and the Nottie is, indeed, a tale of unrelenting, unre,.
quited love, but from Cristabel's perspective. She's the commit,
ted, smitten knight who sees past June's outward appearance all
along and truly loves her, warts and all. Portrayed as someone
who can "have anyone;' Cristabel is an ice queen who deflects
male attention; she's fixated on June and fixed on making her
happy, whatever that means. It's only when June's paired off that
she goes through the motions and hits on awkward Nate, albeit
indifferently and robotically. Yes, this film is a much more en,
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OTHER PICKS
wherewomenextort
protectionmoneyfrom
WickerBarnandpeddle
blackmarketestrogen
patchesat the localpub.
Hilariousall around.
(acornonline.com)
DianeAnderson-Minshall
joyable read as a queer love story. Imagine the
plot in a queer alternate universe: Cristabel
arrives out of breath before Nate and June
kiss, clocks Nate in the head with one of her
heels, professes her love and finally claims her
damsel. (regentreleasing.com)
Butch Jamie (Ballet Diesel Films):
(u
Jamie Klein (Michelle Ehlen) is a struggling
butch actor in a Hollywood beset by traffic
and strict gender norms in casting. Woefully
dismayed by the fact that her roommate's cat,
Howard, not only gets more callbacks, but has
better PR than she does (Howard has his own
choreographed hip-hop reel and head shots),
Jamie tries femming it up with press-on nails
and a wig, only to be shut down before she
can barely mouth her monologue. Advised to
'3ust be yourself" by her buddy David (David
Au), she enters the next tryout in her customary black T-shirt, studded leather bracelets and
spiky bleached hair-and to her astonishment
lands the gig! But as "Steve;' the quintessential
straight dude. In addition, the producers don't
want anyone to know that she's a woman playing
a man's part. So when Jill, a sexy crew member,
falls for the kind, vegetarian "male'' actor, Jamie
suddenly finds herself developing her character
RedWithout
Blue
(Sundance
Channel):
This"accumulation
of
snapshots"
tellsthe
storyof howqueertwins
MarkandAlexdealwith
transgender
identity.As
Alexbecomes
Claire,her
twin Marktalksabout
howthetransitionaffectedhisownidentity.
Whatthisaward-winning
documentary
showsis
that nomatterwhatparentaldisapproval,
divorce,drugs,distance,
attemptedsuicideand
rape-these siblings
refuseto giveupontheir
relationship.
(redwithoutblue.
com)- Katie
Peoples
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Jamie's chest binding while they're making out,
and Jamie passes the bandages off as products
of recent heart surgery. Full of funny, original
characters, ButchJamie is an irresistible mix of
drag, sarcasm and slapstick. And writer-director Michelle Ehlen has found a charmer of a
star: hersel£ (balletdiesel.com)
■
Suburban
Shootout
(Acorn):Finally,the
DVDdebutof this
wickedlyfunnyBritish
showin whicha quaint
Englishvillageis runby
rivalgangsof suburbanhousewives.
With
a rapidfire dialogue
andbrilliantstorylines,
Suburban
Shootout
plays
likea Sopranos
meets
Desperate
Housewives,
TransAmerican
LoveStory(Logo):
Television's
newestdatingshowdefinitelyisn't
A Shotat Love.Youwon't
find anybutch-phobia
or bulltesticleeating
contests,andthe leading
ladywon'tbegyratingon grandma'slap.
Launched
in February,
TransAmerican
revolves
aroundtransactress
Calpernia
Addamsand
hersexy,bisexualbest
friend,AndreaJames.
Theduopokefun at
the datingshowgenre
whileusingthevenueto
increasetransvisibility.
Theydrawattentionto
the universality
of dating
rituals,specifically
focusingonthosewhodate
transwomen,proving
theyarejust as normal
andbizarreas any
datingshowsuitor.We
don'talwaysagreewith
herchoices,butenjoy
the rideandwatching
Amazon-god
James
makethe guyssquirm.
(Propsto Logofor giving
a transguya chance;we
won'tdivulgewhoheis).
(logoonline
.com)-DAM
al
April 2008
I69
Q+A
Samara Halperin
below)? Do you feel that
this form lets you say
something that live-action does not?
Well,
when
I
made
TumbleweedTownI had been
making live-action films for
about 10 years ... and I love
live-action, but it can be a
little stressful getting everything together and being
dependent on actors. The
film that I made right before
TumbleweedTown was called
Shari Shapiro'sSlumberParty,
and in it there was a person
who plays a young version of
me-me at age 11-and I
A filmmaker since the late 1980s, Samara Halperin
is the director of the short gems TumbleweedTown,
a stop-action film featuring gay toy cowboys, and
Sorry,Brenda,which brings to the fore the homoerotics of Brandon and Dylan's relationship on
BeverlyHills 90210. Halperin uses her movies to
create a social space where gays and lesbians can
see their own lives reflected. In addition to her
films, Halperin does her part to change the world
by teaching video production and film animation
at Mills College in Oakland, Calif., and at the
University of San Francisco. - HeatherGilligan
What inspired you to begin a career in
filmmaking?
I've always been interested in art, from when I was
a little kid. I initially wanted to be a cartoonist, and then I was a ceramic sculptor ... I went
to college for art and I decided I didn't want
to carry around heavy sculptures for the rest
of my life. I've always been interested in writing and photography-my
mom's actually a
photographer-and
I thought filmmaking
would be the way to go. My clothing wouldn't
get as dirty as [when I did] ceramics and I
could basically incorporate my love of all the
different art styles, like acting, and improv. It
all came together with film and video.
What drew you to stop-motion with plastic toys for Tumbleweed Town (pictured
spent four years trying to find
this actress. So when I started
on TumbleweedTown I was just so thrilled to
be working with toys. My sister actually gave
me a packet of cowboys and cowgirls-that's
actually how they were marketed by Tonka
in the '70s and early'80s. And so I just decided the cowboy was very intriguing to me, and
I wanted to build a world basically for him. I
just wanted to build a little mini Texas where
my cowboy could cruise and find a boyfriend
and have a good time.
You must have had some very interesting reactions to Sorry, Brenda, especially
from the Gen Xers who grew up watching
90210. What's the best reaction you've had
so far?
The best reaction I had to the film was from
Jason Priestley himself The Conan O'Brien
show [Late Night with Conan O'Brien]found
out about Sorry, Brenda when Jason was
going to be a guest in 2001, and they contacted me to ask if they could reference it or
screen it. They have people who dig up dirt
on the celebrities and this was considered
juicy enough. Conan asked questions about
how he felt about Brandon and Dylan being
contextualized as gay lovers [and] he said he
loved it and that it was about time that the
homoeroticism of Beverly Hills 90210 was
brought to the forefront. I am and was and
probably will be forever a 90210 fanatic. So
for that to happen-it was above and beyond
any fantasy that I'd ever had about it.
You say in a recent interview that you encourage people to make movies because
art changes the world. What kind of change
do you want to make in the world with
your films?
I originally started making movies back in the
'80s. I didn't see queer representation at all.
And I was a kid, a teenager, and I was looking
for media that was going to reference me
and the life that I hoped to live as I grew up
queer, and I just didn't see it. And that's why
I started making films really, in the first place,
because film and video-it's just widespread
media. It has the farthest reach; it's not isolated
in a museum. You can see it on television and
see it in the movies or festivals; you can see
it on the Internet for free if you have access.
For me, it was a way that I could make my
concerns and the world that I lived in and
engaged in more public. Because I lived in
New York City, and for me to have a lack of
community as a young queer teenager- I knew
that there were people in more rural areas
that probably had even less access than I did.
I just wanted to see that representation. And
I wanted to see my stories and other q~eer
stories out there. And now, as you know, of
course, working at CURVE magazine, it's not
the case anymore. There is queer representation almost everywhere and it is part of [the]
mainstream, or gaystream, whatever you want
to call it. But it's still important to me to get
the word and get the art out there and encourage people who've never done it before to pick
up a camera and make a movie with video. It's
accessible,and it's pretty easy.■
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Icurve
In the Stacks
Reviews
Hope Springs Eternal
I
These stories explore the process of change. By Rachel Pepper
Is beautiful
If
Change is in the air, and along with it come a new crop of stories
chat examine the process of transformation from two different
perspectives.
My Miserable, Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy, Andrea
Askowitz (Cleis Press): While not as miserable or as lonely
as the title suggests, Askowitz's tale is nonetheless a breath of
fresh air for all lesbian moms-co-be who try to be perfect poster
children for queer parenting. It takes a brave mama (and not
surprisingly, a single lesbian mama), to acknowledge chat despite
our image of the glowing, robust pregnant woman, often we gals
feel less than stellar: "Week 9, Day 6. No one says feeling miserable is a side effect. Everyone
talks about pregnancy bliss
and the prenatal glow. This
is the worst experience of my
life. When people ask, 'How
are you:" I say,'I've never felt
worse: I'm antisocial, fat, and
scared:'
Hey, I relate. Askowitz
also quickly learns some
ocher revealing truths about
lesbian motherhood, like that
my miserable, lonely,
lesbian pregnancy
ANDREA ASKOWITZ
noncommittal
girlfriends
and
shaky partnerships
do not a co-mother make, that donor choices can lead to
becoming a "lesbian with male fertility problems;' that sometimes old friends disappoint when you need them most, chat
new tents are not deemed appropriate shower gift suggestions,
chat a pregnant belly is quite the mainstream accessory and that
giving birch is a bizarre, painful, yet completely empowering
experience. Askowicz's sharp wit and self-effacing humor make
the book credible, and my copy has many annotations in the
margins reading"Yes!" and"Ha ha:'
But I could have done without the author's negativity-calling out a worker at a particularly well-respected sperm bank as
being"as phony as a used-car salesman" or saying that a certain,
quite helpful pregnancy book "sucks:' Grumpy and pregnant is
one thing, mean-spirited is another.
For the most part, though, Askowicz, the founder of a
nonprofit outdoor organization for LGBT teens, shares a
much-needed, well-told story. That her pregnancy ends in the
well-supported, birth-center arrival of a perfect baby daughter
(quickly quelling her hormones and satisfying all her maternal
urges) will not surprise readers who are already mothers. But
this happy outcome may be a huge relief for lesbian mamas-tobe, who will be especially gratified to know that even though
one's pregnancy may be crappy, you'll most likely be more than
grateful with the outcome. (cleispress.com)
The First Man-Made Man, Pagan Kennedy
(Bloomsbury):Pagan Kennedy makes a significant contribution
to the canon of LGBT biography with her fascinating account
of the life of Michael Dillon, one of the first known FTMs.
Dillon, born Laura in 1915, grew up dreaming of sailor suits
and Tarzan-like adventures in a wealthy but eccentric British
family. She eventually attended Oxford as a woman, joined the
rowing team, started smoking a pipe, pursued straight women,
became a mechanic and tried to come out as homosexual, only
to realize chat she wasn't really gay. She even tried to join the
military, only to be cold she was too mannish to sleep in the
women's dorms.
Miraculously, some testosterone pills ended up in her
possession in 1938, and she began taking them. Here Kennedy
is able to quickly and skillfully cell a succinct history of the
pioneers of the transgender medical movement, plastic surgery
and hormone therapy. Covering ground previously tackled
by academic historians,
Kennedy tells us about
Eugen Sceinach, who performed sex changes on
guinea pigs in Vienna, surgeon Harold Gillies, who
ran a plastic surgery center
during World War II and
endocrinologist
Harry
Benjamin, who established
the protocols still used today by physicians in treating
transgender people. Dillon's
tale is woven not just with
these folks, but with the
story of Roberta "Bobbie"
Cowell, a MTF with whom Dillon found kinship, and tried to
find love with, in the 1950s. A minor celebrity and pioneer in her
own right, Cowell was first a male Royal Air Force captain and
prisoner of war who decided that if he survived the war, he'd
fulfill his dream of becoming a woman. By the time their paths
crossed, Dillon had survived a long course of surgeries and had
been living as a man for more than five years.
Dillon posited that trans folks (called transsexuals
throughout the book, in keeping with historical times) 'clevelop
their identities while still in the womb;' and that psychological
help wasn't what was needed to help them-hormones
and
surgery, still cutting-edge theories today, were. Although the love
affair between Cowell and Dillon didn't work out, Dillon's life
took many strange turns. Eventually ending up penniless after
attempting to become a Tibetan monk, Dillon has been largely
forgotten, even though his personal story and his thoughts on
trans people remain vibrant today. (bloomsburyusa.com)■
-~•1lfct<
jokd.e"ivrt
SPRING
CLEANING
Self-helpwe
canget behind.
SlowIs Beautiful,
CecileAndrews
(NewSociety):
Both
a strikinganalysisof
corporateandpolitical
forcesthat havecreated
a time-impoverished
culturedevotedto
moneyandstatus,and
a passionate
vision
for creatinga caring,
unhurried,
fulfillinglife.
(newsociety.com)
MindingtheBody,
MendingtheMind,
JoanBorysenko,
Ph.D.
(Lifelong
Books):
The
conceptthattakingcare
of the mindis thefirst
stepto takingcareof
the bodyringstrue.This
reprintoffersa practical
approach
to relieving
stressandanxiety.
(dacapopress.
com)
CleanSweep,Denny
Sargent(Weiser
Books):
Sargentdares
andencourages
you
to takea seriouslook
at life,decidingwhat
needsto bebanished
fromit andjust how
to do it. (redwheelweiser.
com)- Diane
Anderson-Minshall,
Teresa
Coates,
Kamala
Puligand/a
April 2008
I 71
PAGE TURNERS
Q+A
ily historyby transauthorKate
Bornstein.
However,
manyof the
piecesarerepetitiveandin the
end,it is the ultraconservative
white
patriarchy
thattheseartistsand
writersarecriticizing;Rice,for better or for worse,seemsonlyto be a
willingparticipant.
(sevenstories.com)
- Kamala
Puligandla
Diane Meholick
What do a recovering alcoholic, obsessive compulsive disorder and the city of Buffalo
all have in common? For fans of Diane
Meholick, the answer lies in her recently
released third book, Buffalo Stories,which
is a definite departure from what her readers have come to expect from this New
York native. Buffalo's subject matter might
not be about time travel, and the stories
do fall outside of Meholick's comfort zone,
but the book certainly provides a wild ride
for readers looking for an interesting literary journey. - ColleenM. Lee
Why Buffalo?
Honestly, I chose Buffalo as the setting for the stories because I love the city.I
love its history, its architecture, its artists, its musicians, its writers and its
potential. I spend a lot of time in Buffalo. It is a wonderful place to be.
You're known for writing time travel stories. Why the change?
The switch was inspired by a local Buffalo singer-songwriter named
Alison Pipitone. After hearing her song, "Charlie's for the Last Time;'
I sat down and wrote the short story"That Summer at Charlie's:' And
it was the first short story I'd written in 20 years. Once I'd completed
the story, others followed in quick succession. So I went with the process and let my muse go. When I re-read the stories, I realized that
they had a theme and a stance, which is my stance on love.
The book is filled with individuals who definitely need either
therapy or an intervention. Was that your goal?
Not really. But you have a point. I think basically what came out in these
stories is the frailty of the human heart, the frailty of the human
psyche. No man or woman is an island. People need people. As much
as that is a cliche, it is also true.
You said these stories showcase the belief that love transcends
all thought and reason.
I believe that love is a force all its own. When it hits you, it takes control.
It owns you. And that is not necessarily a bad thing. Love changes
you, oftentimes for the better. Things are no longer all about me. They
become all about us, and that is beautiful. Also, love cannot be categorized or pigeonholed. It doesn't matter whether Jack loves Jill or Jill
loves Mary or Jack loves Paul. Love is beautiful. And if society could
get past the categorizing and the labeling of "this is normal" and "that
is not normal;' the world would be a better place.
Was the story of Gwen, who is in love with her best friend and
just can't tell her, inspired by a personal experience?
Now that's a great question. Can I plead the fifth? In part, yes it was.
Embellished quite a bit, though, because basically,I think that's what most
writers do. We experience something and draw a story or a novel from
it by letting our imaginations go wild. I call it the "what if" syndrome.
So how is the gay dating scene in Buffalo?
Spectacular and fun.
72 Icurve
■
Ani'sRawFoodKitchen,
AniPhyo
(Avalon):
Eatinga completely
raw
fooddietmayseemlikea commitmentyoucan'tkeep,butwith
the helpof AniPhyoyou'llseehow
the effortpaysoff in the longrun.
Herarrayof deliciousrecipeswill
convinceyouthat eatingrawis not
impossible
anddefinitelynotboring.
What'sreallygreataboutthis book
is Phyo'sexplanation
of howlong
eachof herrecipesstoresin the
refrigerator,
andyou'llbesurprised
TheMortalGroove,
EllenHart(St.
at the numberof dishesyoucan
Martin'sMinotaur):
Withher15th
preparein advance
that arestill
gooda weeklater.(avalonpub.com) JaneLawlessmystery,Hartis at the
topof hergame.Thetitle character's
-Mea Chavez
father,a successful
Minnesota
attorney,is askedto runforgovernor,
Veganomicon,
IsaChandra
butthemenorganizing
hiscampaign
Moskowitz
andTerryHope
havedisturbingsecrets.Asyoung
Romero(Avalon):
Everthe clever
wits,Moskowitz
andRomeromake Vietnamvetsin the early'?Os,they
to the unsolved
gourmetvegancookingaccessible wereconnected
murderof a youngwoman.What
in Veganomicon.
You'lllovethe
menusuggestions
at the backof the theydo nowto keepthetruthfrom
Thisnovel
bookandthe massiveindexrivaling unfoldingis frightening.
is darkerandmoreunsettling
than
thatof theJoyof Cooking.
Hart'spreviousworks;however,
the
(ava/onpub.com)MC
authorcleverlyaddslevityto theseriousness
of the subjectthroughthe
well-placed
humorof Cordelia
Thorn,
Jane'ssidekick.(minotaurbooks.com)
- Kathilsserman
Dr.Ricein theHouseEd.Amy
Scholder(SevenStoriesPress):
Thiseclecticcollectionof writing
andart is meantto denounce
the
politicalagendaof U.S.Secretary
of
StateCondoleezza
Rice.Thebook
presentsa numberof persuasive
arguments
andcreativeportraitsof
Rice,inlcudinga poembyAfrican
AmericanlesbianpoetSapphire
andan insightfulmusingontam-
Shimmer
andOtherStories,Lori
L.Lake(RegalCrestEnterprises):
LoriLake'snewbookincludesfive
brilliantfictionaltalesthatarevaried
in plotbutconnected
bya common
theme.Theyexemplify
the grit and
adversityof reallifewithtopics
rangingfromsexualharassment
to
2'
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- Kl
Music Watch Reviews
Quirky Queer Indy Rock
A look at some of the more interesting indie rockers out there. I By Margaret Coble
This month, let's take a look at some of the more interesting inde,
pendent queer/dyke rock bands whose albums have come in re,
cently-from the political DIY punk of Brooklyn's the Shondes
and the classic rock riffs of Buffalo'sAlison Pipitone Band, to the
aggressive indie sounds of Illinois,based Tina Sparkle and the
Latin,tinged pop of Texas,rooted Chica y Los Gatos.
The Red Sea, the Shondes (self-released): CuRvE's
music issue cover,queers [Vol. 17 #6), the Shondes, have finally
released their debut album, and it was well worth the wait. If you
heard their three,song demo that was available earlier last year,
you'll be more than happy with this 11,track studio produc,
tion that really brings out their urgent, intertwining vocals and
punk,meets,classical instrumentation. Louisa Solomon (bass),
Temim Fruchter (drums), Ian Brannigan (guitar) and Elijah
Oberman (violin) have been together as a band for about two
years now. Despite not having an album, they managed to garner
quite a healthy buzz in the underground rock scene via rigor,
ous cross,country touring. Their name means "shame" or "dis,
grace" in Yiddish and is a fitting title for a three,fourths Jewish,
three,fourths trans, all,queer, feminist, activist band. Their radi,
cal politics drew me to them from the start, but it's their fierce
musical mix that has me listening to The Red Sea on repeat and
made me venture out late one recent rainy weekend night to hear
them live. The combination of Oberman's mournfully eloquent
violin with Brannigan's brash guitars and Solomon's sinewy bass
lines, anchored by Fruchter's punchy beats, makes for a dramatic,
full,bodied sound that is then made all the more compelling by
various combinations of the members' alternating vocals, weav,
ing in and out of each other. The fugue,like battle cries of"Let's
Go" and "I Watched the Temple Fall;' have multiple melodies
and lyrical lines and are brilliant fits of punk passion, while
Oberman,sung tracks like"Winter" and"What Love Is" expose a
more tender and poignant side to this complexly beautiful band.
(shondes.com)
Growing
Pains,MaryJ.
Blige(Geffen):
Regularly
compared
to thesoulful
songstresses
Aretha
FranklinandAnitaBaker,
it seemsthat MaryJ.
Bligecando nowrong,
andhereighthalbum,
GrowingPains,is no
exception.
Thequeen
of R&B/hip-hop/soul
is
backwitha bang(and
with bangs).In herlatest
venture,Ms.Bligegets
personal,
highlightingherrelationship
strugglesandtriumphs.
Theempowered
woman
in songslike"Just
Fine,""ShakeDown"
and"NowhereFast"is
contrasted
to a morevulnerableMaryJ. in tracks
"HurtAgain,""Losing
Strength"and"Fade
Away."Butwhetherit
istheconfident
or the
uncertainMaryJ. belting
outherheart-filledlyrics,
Ms.Bligecontinues
to satisfyanddeliver.
(geffen.com)- Colleen
M.Lee
Tigerbabies, Alison Pipitone Band (Slice): Alison
Pipitone has a sexy,gritty voice that instantly recalls Joan Jett, and
her music is of a similar vein-no,frills, straight,ahead, old,
school rock 'n' roll. An out lesbian, Pipitone has been making
music for over 20 years now (soundtrack fans might remember
Quirky Queer Indy Rock continuedon page 75
April 2008
I 73
OTHER LICKS
Q+A
izing,other-worldly
voicebehind
1980scultfavesDeadCanDance
putsouta 15-cutretrospective
covering25 yearsof hersoloand
collaborative
highpoints,including
scoresfromseveralaward-winning
films.TheMiddleEastern-flaired
"Yulunga
(SpiritDance)"is still one
of myfavorites.(lisagerrard.com)
Suede
Haven't heard of Suede yet? Well,
fasten your safety belt, this self
proclaimed diva is ready for liftoff.
Take one part Ella Fitzgerald, toss
in some Bette Midler and Rosemary
Clooney and top with some Louis
Armstrong, and you've got Suede,
pop/jazz extraordinaire.
Sultry. Smooth.
Sizzling.
Suede has been making pop/jazz
magic for 27 years and counting.
She creates bring-the-housedown blues and love songs infused
with her own warmth, humor and
originality, which is just one of the many reasons fans flock to her shows
time and again. Suede just might be the loudest, best-kept secret in music
today. - CarolBryant
For current and soon-to be fans, tell us who Suede is.
I've been a musician for nearly 27 years, own my own company and record
label and I was born with an ability to play nearly any instrument I could
find. In general, my style is pop/jazz/blues, but I sing anything that calls
to me.
You perform on both land and sea, including Olivia Cruises. What
can one expect when attending a Suede concert?
Expect the unexpected, as I never do the same thing twice. I am not just a
musician; my shows are energy-filled with music and humor spanning
the complete emotional range. I approach my voice as an instrument and
play it for my audience as such.
Do you think being a lesbian helps or hinders you as far as being
out as a performer?
I am amongst a rare breed who has been doing this long before it was safe
or trendy to be an out lesbian artist. I've never fit the stereotypical ideal
of a female jazz singer, lamenting about being done wrong by her man
in song. My songs are non-gender specific, and I have been true to who I
am. Thanks to NPR, PBS and indie stations, the word is getting out.
Tell me about your albums.
To date, there are four CDs and one DVD, also airing on PBS stations,
Suede: Live at ScullersJazz Club. My next CD is due out spring 2008,
and is being recorded in Tony Bennett's son's studio with Tony's son
as our engineer. I'm going full-steam on this one, with horns, strings,
"Neverland" from Peter Pan and some original songs written for me, including a very moving tune inspired by my relationship with my dad,
who passed away recently.
You are a self-proclaimed diva. Can just anyone be a diva?
Any woman can be a diva and wear the badge proudly. A diva is any woman
who stands up for and knows herself; she strives for what she both wants
and needs. For me, a diva is a magnificent female singer. ■
74
Icurve
Delusions
of Grandeur,
Cathy
Richardson
(CashRich):This
artful,18-cutfollow-upto 2003's
GrammynominatedTheRoad
ToBlissis an epic,wide-ranging
setthat aptlycapturesthe out,
Chicago-based
singer-songwriter's
growthas a vocalist,musician
andproducer;stylesrangefrom
acousticandsoulfulsoundsto
dramaticstring-andchoir-accompanied
pieces,andevena few
reggae-tinged
songs.Whata voice.
(cathyrichardson.
com)
WhiteShoesandTheCouples
Company
(MintyFresh):Hailing
fromIndonesia,
this co-edsextetof
formerart schoolclassmates
make
melodic,'?Os-inspired,
cinematicqualitypoptunesthat stickin your
headandwon'tlet go.Theorchestral, English-language
"Nothingto
Fear"is a sure-firehit,thougheven
Indonesian-language
cutslikethe
soaring"TentangGita"andjazzy
"Windu& Defrina"will scorewith
fanswhohaveno ideawhatthey
aresaying-the melodiesarethat
infectious.(myspace.com/whiteshoesandthecouplescompany)
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KeepYourSilverShined,
Devon
Sproule(CitySalvage/Waterbug):
Virginia-based
Sprouleblends
bluegrass,
folk andjazzwith
soulfulporchswingpoetryon
hersophomore
CD,resultingin a
ONDVD
romantic34-minutesetthat begs
Hurrah!
A Yearof Ta-Oah,
to beplayedon repeat,endlessly.
ScissorSisters(Universal
(devonsprou/e.
com)
Motown):
Thisfeature-richDVD
fromtheflamboyant,
part-queer
SeventhTree,Goldfrapp
(Mute):
bandcontainsnotonlya 90-minute
In highcontrastto the glitzand
liveconcertshotat London'sflashy
glamof 2006'sSupernature,
the
02Arena,butalsoa one-hour,
benew10-trackset bythe eclectic
hind-the-scenes
documentary,
all
U.K.duois largelysedate,texturfilmedduringlastsummer'sKiss
allyrichandentirelyhypnotic.
YouOffworldtour.Extrasinclude
"Happiness"
is the mostupbeat,
four musicvideos,anacousticgig
sure-to-be-remixed
cut,whilethe
featuringbarebones
versionsof
opening"Clowns"is downright
theirbiggesthitsanda bonuslive
haunting.(go/dfrapp.co.uk)
trackshotat Wembley
Stadiumin
2006.Wellworththe money.(scisTheBestofLisaGerrard,
Lisa
sorsisters.
com)- MC
Gerrard(4AD):Themesmer-
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Quirky and Queer Indy Rock continued from page 73
her song "Dynamite" from the 1997 dyke drama
All Over Me), but her current band incarnation
jelled in 2005; this is their most recent album effort. From the sing-along opener "Sunshinestar" to
the jazz-n-blues spruced "You Can't Keep a Good
Woman Down;' Pipitone knows how to craft a
good pop-rock song with an infectious hook. The
bluesy"Tiger" and rollicking"! Think You Get Me
Baby" both incorporate some nice sax work for
more of an all-American, Springsteen vibe, while
I had to check the liner notes to make sure "Love,
Love, Love" was an original and not some obscure
harmonica-blasting "Kiss and Tell" are harder
rocking standouts, while the more melodic opener
"Starting the Year" and string-filled ballad "Noun
Verb Noun'' are more radio-friendly picks. Solid
from beginning to end. Go Peoria. (myspace.
com/ tinasparkle)
Perfect Weather, Chica y Los Gatos (GRobot Studios): Out-lesbian Renee Muzquiz
Satterfield, this Peoria, Ill., quartet comes in more
on the alternative/indie side of the rock spectrum, frequently compared to PJ Harvey and the
Pretenders. Satterfield's lyrics openly address her
lesbian lovers, ex-lovers and crushes, while the
band's music aptly expresses the angst and regret
detailed in her songs about broken hearts, bad
has worked both solo and with a revolving cast
of backing "gatos;' including her younger brother
Ramon Muzquiz. Though she's recently decided
to explore the Pacific Northwest (Portland, Ore.,
specifically), this debut album is a band effort produced last year in her hometown of Denton, Texas.
Ranging from the sparse acoustic folk of "Lighten
Up" and "Not Fair" to the jazzier pop of the tide
track and melodic opener "The Core of Me;' this
self-released nine-cut disc is less aggressive than
the other albums mentioned above, but the bulk of
it still fits into an indie pop-rock category-even
the twangy slide-guitar stomper "Shoes Without
Souls" and Latin-jazz £laired "Baby,I'm Not Blind:'
Muzquiis lyrics cover her personal struggles and
triumphs in life and love, and her dramatic vocals
fall somewhere between a youngJoni Mitchell and
Tori Amos. The album took a few listens to grow
on me; I'm so curious to hear how the Portland
timing and missed opportunities. The scorching
distortion-fest, "Suck the Panic;' and the bluesy,
music scene influences her sound. Keep an ear out
for this one. (myspace.com/ chicaylosgatos)■
Joan Jett cover, with its punchy power-chord chorus. Every cut on this disc is strong. I really can't
understand why this woman isn't more of a national star. Buffalo better stop hiding her. (alisonpipitone.com)
All Around Champion Screw-Up, Tina
Sparkle (Thinker Thought): Led by Marsha
N
5
~
~
~
...J
LU
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(.)
0
a:
April 2008
I 75
Reviews
Tech Girl
It's Time to Get Your Game On
It's hard not to love all the new games coming our way.
Scores of lesbians have been gamer girls for years and even more women and girls are joining in on the new revolution
every day, especially with the introduction of game consoles like the Nintendo Wii, rental programs (like Gamefly) that
make getting a game as easy as renting a DVD, and smart programming where women aren't just victims. -Teresa
Coates, Katie Peoples, Colleen M. Lee, Diane Anderson-Minshall
My Kind of Date Night
If your image of gamers is geeky teens, well then, get ready to
rethink gaming consoles. It's true what they say. You cannot
explain Nintendo Wii-you have to experience it. While the
Wii offers the traditional Nintendo franchises, like Mario and
Zelda, lesbians of all stripes will love WiiSports,a series of five different games
that each replicate a real-life sport. Instead of pushing buttons and maneuveringjoysticks, you use the Wii remote like a tennis racquet, a baseball, a bowing
ball or, most fun of all, boxing gloves. (Rated E, prices vary, nintendo.com)
The Quiz Game Battle
Ready to duke it out? Two hot games will help you put your trivial pursuits
to the test. SceneIt?: Board games, move over and prepare to collect dust on
the shelves. Film know-it-alls get their chance to show off with Scene It?. This
movie trivia Xbox DVD game, which up to four players (or teams) can play,
is so addictive, fun and engaging that playing one game is not enough. Players
answer questions from 21 puzzle types-from identifying scenes and audio
clips to finishing famous movie lines. There is an endless supply of questions
and for the biggest bonus, the winner gets to walk the red carpet, while the
losers hold the door. (Rated E, $60, xbox.com) Buzz!:Get your next party
started right with this fun and easy trivia game. Up to eight people can buzz in
to answer general knowledge Hollywood questions. You can customize your
player (we especially like the hot vampire and the whimsical mime) and each
round of the game. Rollover rounds let your points roll over to the next player
if you get an answer wrong and the animated host, Buzz, will keep you on your
toes with sarcastic remarks when you do badly and kudos when you excel.
(Rated E, $40, buzz-games.com)
Kids on the PC (also available for Xbox 360)
VivaPiiiat;r.Kids and stoned college students will love Viva Pinata, in large
part because much of the game focuses on getting piiiatas in your hard-worked
garden through a mix of attraction and procreation. Encourage the genderneutral animals in their love affairs and you, too, can become a master romancer. Have fun gathering all the fudgehogs, moozipans and flutterscotches you
can, but watch out for the sour piiiatas and weeds. The only bummer is that
the game requires oodles (10GB) of memory. (Rated E, $30, vivapinata.com)
Lara Croft Is Back
TombRaiderAnniversary.
The brilliant and beautiful (not to mention acro-
ESRBRATING
T=Teen E= Everyone
76
I
curve
From top to bottom:
Wii Bowling, Scene It?,
Buzz!, Viva Pifiata and
Tomb Raider.
batic) explorer is back in Tomb Raider Anniversary. Lara looks more realistic
than she ever has in her 10-year existence and she has her own voice, as well as
a new set of gadgets and abilities.Travel with Lara as she is hired by a syndicate
to find a mythical object called a Scion. (Rated T, $30, t"ambraider.com) ■
EDITOR'S
PICK
Colored
XBox
Wireless
Controllers:
Have
youeverwantedto
playupto 30 feet
awayfromyour
screenandfor days
at a time?Now
youcanwiththe
Xbox360Wireless
Controller.
Getthe
playandcharge
kit,soonceyou're
warnedyou'reabout
to losepower(after
40 hours)youcan
plugin andkeep
gaming.Pickyour
favoritecolor(pink,
white,blackor blue)
andgameon,girls.
($50,xbox.com)
-Mea Chavez
Reviews I Tried It
There's Something in the Water
Aquatic therapy is more than a sink-or--swim proposition.
I By Diane
Anderson--Minshall
Finding a Watsu practitoner is easier than ever, but
finding one who works independent of a handful of expensive spas is another story. I found my Watsu therapist where I find everything else: on Craigslist. Marcus
Miller (larte.com) is an affable, emo dude who teaches
Watsu and Ai Chi (a water movement) at the OHSU
and the Jewish Community Center in Portland, Ore.,
and for private clients in San Francisco. Today I am one
of those private patients, but since I'm also a journalist
and sans car, I ask for a ride to the Marin pool where
we'll do our session.
I'm nervous, getting in a strange car with a man and
all, but there's a heated saltwater pool in my future, so I
buckle up. During the ride up, we converse about everything from Buddhism (he quotes a famous Buddhist nun)
to crappy cars (admitting he has one) to Watsu ("Watsu
is considered a Yin practice ... women typically, but not
exclusively,have easier access to their inner energy and so
often are more amenable to experiencing water work:').
But as we leave the highway and start winding our way
through tiny residential streets in affluent Marin, I begin
to get nervous. I followed him through the back gate of
~ne home in the middle of suburbia and, lo and behold,
a tropical oasis: a glistening warm pool.
z
I've done a great deal in the name of lesbian journalism. Once, when I was 22,
I got a Brazilian wax that involved me in a doggie-style position sporting paper
panties while an octogenarian drag queen named Ginger ever so gently tore my
pubic hair out. After that incident, I've been pretty willing to try anything.
I'm happy to report that Watsu was much easier on my nerves, though
my introduction to it was no less colorful than the bush job. Watsu-an
innovative form of aquatic therapy-was created in 1980 by Zen Shiatsu
practitioner Harold Dull. He began by floating patients in the warm waters
of California's famed Harbin Hot Springs, while applying the stretches and
principles of Shiatsu he had learned in Japan. The practice took off and today
Watsu is practiced in more than 40 countries. It's also become the primary
modality used as rehabilitation by aquatic therapists.
Since I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition several years ago, I've
been going from treatment to treatment searching for one that would fit with
my love of all things wet, so when I first heard about Watsu I was ready to
dive right in (FYI, there is no diving in Watsu-you don't even need to know
a:
how to swim).
(/)
0
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~
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Cl..
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0
Though this isn't an exact description, Watsu does feel
like a combination of underwater massage and stretching.
In the most basic move, the Water Breath Dance, Miller
floated me in his arms, letting me sink as I breathed out,
letting the water then lift us both a bit as I breathed in.
The water takes the weight off my vertebrae, which allowed my spine to be moved in ways that would just never
be possible on land, and each twist and turn seemed to
relieve pressure on my pinched nerves and sore muscles.
Soaking in warm water is for many people one of the most relaxing places
to be (outside of bed) and because of that, Watsu sessions can feel almost
womblike-a cocoon-like relaxation so deep that I wasn't sure if I had fallen
asleep or not. Watsu, too, is what Miller calls "a physically close" type of
bodywork and because of that the percentage of women in the classes and as
practitioners is two men for every 10 women. But, Miller cautions, don't
mistake the physical closeness of Watsu with sexual actions. There's a strict
code of ethics among Watsu practitioners, who must be grounded and mindful and exhibit gratitude in the trust weve given them.
It's been months since my session, though I've been planning a follow-up
since practically the moment I got out of the pool that day. Some followers
come back regularly,others once a year. Now that I know what to expect, Miller
says I can "relax deeper into the work:' I may not understand core awareness,
conscious breathing, alignment visualization or really even the difference between my own yin and yang. But there was something in the water that day
that I tapped into and I have a feeling I will be discovering it again soon. ■
April 2008
I
77
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I 79
Top Ten ReasonsWe Love Alexandra Billings
•5. Shestilllikesa littledrag.The one-time female
impersonator is currently playing her first male
role, Fagin, a male dominatrix with a nasty temper
in Twist, a queer pop-rock musical. "[This] is the
first time in 20-plus years of theater that I've ever
played a man:' Wrap your head around that.
6. She'san activist,too.She starred in GLAAD's
"Be an Ally & a Friend" public service advertisement
that encourages viewers to treat LGBT people
with respect.
7. Shestill getsstarcrushes.Billings admits she
was star struck standing next to Marlee Matlin
and Martina Navratilova at a GLAAD event. "I
literally thought to myself, 'I've died and gone to
celebrity heaven!"'
8. She'swickedlyfunny.Sample quip: 'Tm a transgender female, but that gets a little stuck in the
throat, like calling someone supercalafragilisticexpialladocious:' More proof of her sense of humor:
This year she's starring in the theater version of cult
fave, the black comedy The House of Yes.
9. Shevaluesolderactresses.
'There are actresses... over 40 and they're working and they're not
pumping themselves full of one thing or another
and they look fantastic!" But she admits, being a
woman over 25 in Hollywood can be tough. 'Tm
43 years old and I'm everybody's grandmother in
this town. All the roles that didn't go to JessicaTandy
are going to me:'
Ever since lesbian actor Alexandra Billings starred
in Chicago's rendition of Charles Busch's Vampire
Lesbians of Sodom, she's been winning awards for
her roles. Currently starring in Twist, Billings has
had a turn on ER and Karen Sisco and appeared .
on the hit Greys Anatomy episode that won an
award from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against
Defamation. The trans actor has given us plenty of
reasons to love her. - Jacob Anderson-Minshall
"I'm 43 yearsold and I'm
everybody'sgrandmother
in thistown. Allthe roles
that didn'tgo to Jessica
Tandyare goingto me."
1. She'sbeenin lovewith her wife sincehigh 3. Shelovesus back.Of Xena fans, she's said, "I
school. Billings married director Chrisanne
lovethem! They're one of a kind. Loyal,loud, raucous,
Blankenship in a commitment ceremony in 1996,
but she first fell for the girl in high school. Billings
admits, "I was in love with her and I had to have
her close to me:'
2. She lovedXenaas muchas we did. In fact,
Billings has starred in the title role of not one but
two Xena! Live! stage versions.
so Icurve
and fabulous dressers!"
4. Everyrolesheplayedhasmadehistory.As the
first openly trans actor to play the many theatrical roles of her career and the first trans woman to
play a transgender female character on television
in 2003's Romy and Michelle-A New Beginning,
Billings has broken down barriers.
10.Shethinkseveryone
shouldbe outandproud.
"I'm not talking about a big transgender sign
above your head. But, for the love of God, there's
no reason to lie. There's no reason to make up a
past. You've got to embrace what happened to you
because whatever happened to you informs what's
happening to you now:' ■
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THE BEST-SELLING LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME 18 NUMBER 3
FranklySpeaking
Our Girl Next Door
1550 Bryant Street, Suite 510
San Francisco, California 94103
Phone 415-863-6538 Facsimile 415-863-1609
Advertising Sales 415-863-6538 ext. 10 or 212-446-6700
Subscription Inquiries 818-286-3102
Advertising E-mail advertising@curvemag.com
Editorial E-mail editor@curvemag.com
Letters to the Editor E-mail letters@curvemag.com
Publisher/Editor in Chief
Executive Editor
Associate Publisher
Senior Editor
Assistant Editor
Book Review Editor
Music Review Editor
Contributing Editors
Proofreaders
Art Director
Photo Editor
Production Manager
Production Artist
Web Producer
Operations Director
Sales Department
Advertising Sales
MySpace Manager
MySpace Marketing
Marketing Representative
Editorial Assistants
Photo Assistants
Frances Stevens
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Sara Jane Keskula
Colleen M. Lee
Katie Peoples
Rachel Pepper
Margaret Coble
Julia Bloch, Victoria A.
Brownworth, Gina Daggett,
Sheryl Kay, Gretchen Lee
Theresa Johnson, Rachel
Leach, Remy Ramirez,
Katherine Wright
Stefanie Liang
Nicole Teichman
Ondine Kilker
Kelly Nuti
Nikki Woelk
Flo Enriquez
Holly DeMaagd
DianaL Beny,RivendellMedia
LindseyJ. Taylor
Amanda Campa
Tammy Lam
AislinnClevenger,Teresa
Coates,HeatherGilligan,
KatieKaapcke,Colleen
McCaffrey,KamalaPuligandla,
KellyRulon,KoryTran
Sara Chestnutt-Fry,
Catherine
V.Seriosa
Contributing Writers ElizabethAllen, Kathy Beige,
Mea Chavez, Jennifer Corday, Michele Fisher,Tania
Hammidi, Jodi Helmer, Gillian Kendall, Kathi lsserman,
Kate Lacey, Charlene Lichenstein,Karen Loftus, Karlyn
Lotney,Candace Moore, Aefa Mulholland,Catherine
Plato, LaurieSchenden,Stephanie Schroder,Sara
Seinberg, Jenny Sherwin, Ursula Steck, Jocelyn Voo,
Melany Walters-Beck
Illustrators Phil Cho, KatherineStreeter
Contributing PhotographersSohpia Hantzes, Gabriela
Hashun,Cheryl Mazak, Connie L. Merchant, Mia Nakano,
Maggie Parker,Melissa Rodwell, ElisaShebaro,Jeff
Singer,Paul Thomas, KinaWilliams
Volume 18 Issue 3 Curve (ISSN 1087-867)() is published monthly (except for
bimonthly January/February and July/August) by Outspoken Enterprises, Inc.,
1550 Bryant St., Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103. Subscription price:
$49.95/year, $62.95 Canadian (U.S. funds only) and $71.95 international (U.
S. funds only). Returned checks win be assessed a $25 surcharge. Periodicals
postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additional mailing offices
(USPS 0010-355). Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced
in any manner, either whole or in part, without written permission from the
publisher. Publication of the name or photograph of any persons or organizations
appearng, advertising or listing in Curve may not be taken as an indication of
the sexual orientation of that individual or group unless specifically stated. Curve
welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and artworl<.Include SASE
for response. Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials.
Submissions cannot be returned unless a sett-addressedstamped envelope is
included. No responsibiltty is assumed for loss or damages. The oontents do
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magazines sent discreetly. Subscription Inquiries: Pleasewme to Curve, 1550
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CA91615-7138.Printedin the U.S.
••
Dani Campbell is the perfect
lesbian girl next door, a softie
with a heart of gold. Her
biggest aspiration seems
to be using her newfound
stardom to be a positive role
model for young kids coming
Frances Stevens Publisher/Editor in Chief
out.
Who would have thought last summer when we were helping MTV cast their new "lesbian reality dating show" at Peach, our Atlanta Women's Pride Party, that the show would become A Shot at Love with
Tila Tequila?Under the impression that we were casting for an alUesbian show, the final contestants
were just as surprised as we were, when they arrived to vie for Tila's heart, that there would be 16 straight
men also trying to win her over. Turns out one girl won the hearts of a plethora of viewers (LGBT and
straight) across the country in the first bisexual reality television series-and it wasn't Tila Tequila.
Firefighter Dani Campbell is the perfect lesbian girl next door, a big softie with a heart of gold. Her
biggest aspiration seems to be using her newfound stardom to be a positive role model for young kids
coming out, to bust through archaic stereotypes and to develop her own clothing line called Futch (get
it?). In our exclusive cover interview (page 32), executive editor Diane Anderson-Minshall delves deep
to find out what makes Dani Campbell tick.
We're most excited that Dani will be partying with CURVE at our issue release party in San Francisco
in late March and again this summer in Atlanta for Peach. That latter party will happen during Atlanta
Pride on the Fourth of July weekend. (Yes, for the first time ever, Atlanta Pride will whoop it up freedom-style on a new weekend,July 4-6!)
You'll probably recognize the actor Lucia Rijker as Helena's strong, silent cellmate on The L Word.
But you might not know that Rijker is also one of the best female boxers in the world.-In Million Dollar
Baby,Rijker played the fighter who crushed Hilary Swank. But when writer Laurie K. Schenden apprehensively stepped into the ring with Rijker, she discovered a softer side of the notorious bad girl.
Our first special auto section ("Women + Wheels" starts on page 54) is packed with tough chicks, too,
including race car drivers, a monster truck competitor and even an ex-cop turned stunt woman. There's
also Melissa Plaut-one of only 400 women cabbies in a plethora of over 40,000 male drivers. And if
you're a gutsy adrenaline junkie dreaming about climbing behind the wheel of a race car, writer Jodi
Helmer introduces you to your next big thrill at the Bridgestone Racing Academy in "Ladies, Start Your
Engines" on page 55.
It's time for our wedding issue and brides in bloom, too. We've got the lowdown on what's legal
where, hints on making it through the big day unscathed and profiles of the women who are leading the
fight for our right to marry. Phew, with so many great articles, it's no wonder the CURVE crew is tired.
Don't forget to give them the thumbs-up when you join us in San Francisco and Atlanta to meet Dani!
Keyword: Curvemag Web site: curvemag.com
April 2008
I1
Features
"I get
attention
anywhereI
go and it's
notjustthe
gay parties.
I probably
havejust
as many
straight
women
fans as I
do gay. It's
awesome
to thinkI
brokesome
sillystereotypes in
away."
April 2008
28
32
40
Volume 18#3
Cruisin' MoTown The Motor City often gets a
Start Your Engines
bad rap, but Detroit is a thriving and gay metropolis. By Colleen M. Lee
54
Girls Rule the Track Anything boys can do girls
can do better. By Jennifer Corday and Jodi Helmer
Cover: Another Shot at Love Dani Campbell
won our hearts. Now, she dishes on life after A Shot
at Love. By Diane Anderson-Minshall
56
Smokin' Tailpipes Scooter Girls with pinup flair.
By Colleen McCaffrey
Tila Tequila's Other Girls From Ashli the virgin
58
Choosing the Perfect Bike Get the goods from
to Amanda the Amazon, we catch up with the
other reality 1V dykes. By Candace Moore and
Kristin A. Smith
lesbian bikers on how to buy a motorcycle, and we
chat with a lesbian stunt driver. By Jennifer Corday
and Hilary Kyle
0
....I
42
Dani Campbell
page 32
L Word Exclusive: Helena's Prison Lover
Champion boxer Lucia Rijker dishes on knocking
out Hilary Swank and making out on The L Word.
By Laurie K. Schenden
60
taxi driver and try out those fun car share services.
By Kristin A. Smith and Victoria A. Brownworth
46
48
Becoming a Bridezilla One married lesbian tries
out taffeta and combat boots. By Beren deMotier
Marriage Rights: Where Are We? We map out
where you can marry and where the fight continues. By Mea Chavez
50
Fight for Your Rights These activists want you
to marry! And a bride gives us some wedding tips.
By Lauren Marie Fleming and Heather Gold
Cover photo by
Melissa Rodwell
2
I curve
52
Going to the Chapel A New Hampshire church
hosts the New Year's Eve civil unions of 11
couples. By Tamara Le
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62
Wedding Bells
Taxicab Confessions Take a ride with a woman
Biking Through Asia One woman's ride through
China. By Carla King
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64 Always Be Prepared Do you know what to do
when the tire goes flat? By Jennifer Corday
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66 The Monster Mash Candice Jolly crushes
Cadillacs for fun. By Jennifer Corday
67 Aboard the Crazy Train These lesbian BART
drivers work insane hours. By Sara Seinberg
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page 24
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Frankly Speaking A message from our
publisher.
6
Letters Our January/February cover
girls get lots of love and so do our CURVE
pinups.
18 Lesbofile Janice Dickinson dishes on
71 In the Stacks Rachel Pepper analyzes
two novels on very different types of
transitions.
her lesbian romp, Penelope Cruz makes
out with hottie Mia Maestro and Jodie
Foster finally comes out.
20 Lipstick & Dipstick Mixed signals
out the queer and quirky musicians
(like Alison Pipitone, above) of the indie
scene.
21 Ask Fairy Butch Butch-on-butch love
season's cool parties.
12 Out in Front We showcase a queer
Asian American scholar, an attorney
working for employee rights and a
girl who went from homelessness to
Harvard.
14 Curvatures Frida Kahlo goes on tour,
Poland gets a book on coming out and
Cove Creek is a green and gay refuge in
North Carolina.
16 Open Studio Zahava Sherez uses
manual labor and heavy materials to
create beautiful female sculptures.
and how to be out-and-proud in Green
Bay.
24 Dyke Drama The two great mysteries in
life: cars and women.
26 Politics It's time for a feminist revolution.
68 Sapphic Screen Candace Moore
checks out The Hattie and the Nottie's
homoerotic undertones and Butch
Jamie's gender bending.
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and we put party-style and single-player
games to the test.
22 Astro Grrl Careers bloom in April. What
do your stars say?
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Contributors Get to know your writers.
10 Scene All the hot girls were at the
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73 Music Watch Margaret Coble picks
about marriage lead to problems.
9
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77
I Tried It CuRvE'sexecutive editor
Diane Anderson-Minshall soothes her
aching muscles with Watsu, a form of
aquatic therapy.
80 Top Ten Reasons We Love
Alexandra Billings We can't help it.
Actor Alexandra Billings' big heart and
eclectic roles win us over.
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Letters
"As of now, not too many L Word stars have
been vocal about their likes and dislikes
between the sheets, so when another
A newsurveyby
LeaseTrader
says
thatwomenwant
morespacein their
carsratherthannifty
gadgets.Whatdo you
lesbianswantmoreof?*
one comes out (as straight, gay, bisexual,
transgender or what-have-you) our little
community goes ga-ga."
Bette and Tina Cause a Stir
I enjoyed your interview with Jennifer Beals ['All Bettes Are
Off" Vol. 18 #l] ! I was so pleased to see her say that she thinks
The L Word needs to tackle real issues, such as hate crimes, in
the GLBTQ community more directly. I think The L Word has
35%
iPod-ready
stereo an amazing platform from which to address the real struggles
(Takeyourtunes GLBTQ people face, yet it rarely steps up to the plate. I hope
everywhere) Chaiken listens up! - Kate Bodey, via email
23%
I just wanted to say great job on the articles in January /February
GPSnavigation issue (Vol. 18 #l]; especially on the interviews with Michelle
(I'll neverbe lostagain) Paradise ("Another Day in Paradise''], Jennifer and Laurel
Holloman ["It's My Turn"]. I hope you are all not working too
hard, but after reading the magazine tonight, I think that is defi,
Sunroof
nitely an understatement. - Michelle A. Bart of Helping Heroes
(I wantto havea
Productions, Los Angeles
16%
viewon all sides)
12%
Heatedseats
(It is winterafterall)
9%
Fold-down
seats
(Theversatility
aloneis worthit)
4%
Bluetooth
capabilities
(Look,Ma.Nohands!)
Maybe I'm just completely out of the loop, but I was shocked to
learn that Laurel Holloman (The L Word's Tina) is bisexual in
the article"Now It's My Turn" (Vol.18 #l]. I know it shouldn't
matter, but let's face it, as lesbians and bisexual women, L Word
fans are going to be interested in the sex lives
of the women portrayed on screen, whether
they like it or not. As of n~w, not too many
L Word stars have been vocal about their
likes and dislikes between the sheets,
so when another one comes out (as
straight, gay, bisexual, transgender
or what,have,you) our little com,
I just finished reading the January /February issue (Vol.18 # 1]you know, the one with Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman on
the cover-and I enjoyed all the articles immensely. You all are
doing a great job with the magazine. It's informative, relevant,
and entertaining. - Diane Meholick, Buffalo, N.Y.
Cool Curvy cuRveChixs
I was completely impressed with the recent layout in CURVE ["I
Was a Middle,Aged Pinup;'Vol.18 #1]. Diane looked amazing.
That was so cool. Seriously, so pretty! I loved it. It was...inspiring.
Actually, I have such image issues so that was just completely
inspirational to see all shapes, sizes and looks out there presented
with confidence and quality. I always wanted to be a part of
something like that, promoted just being who you are and
embracing your inner tiger. Ya know, like "Hot Talk with the
Thick Chick" or something. You rock, woman! - Denise, The
Lesbian Lounge, Coral Springs, Fla.
I was in a Lo Do (Lower Downtown Denver) bookstore and
picked up CURVE magazine. Those pies of Diane, Sara Jane and
Katie are so hot! - Bonnie Barrett, Denver, Colo.
Apparently You Love Pinups, Too
*According
to an munity goes ga,ga. I commend Ms.
onlinepoll.Votenowat Holloman for her nerve at coming
curvemag.com. out as bisexual even when married
to a man. It's another victory for the
bisexuals who are sick and tired of
explaining themselves (it's the gender,
not the genitalia), especially considering that
Holloman remains a self,identified bisexual
while in a happy, heterosexual marriage.
Thanks Laurel, from all the bis out there.
- Alison, Trumbull, Conn.
It's hardnotto expecttonsof fan
mailwhenyouhavethe reigning
queensof America'smostbeloved
lesbiandramaonyourcover,but
the mailwasn'tall aboutTheL
Wordthis month.Apparently,
you
likeit whenwomengoundercover,
discovering
theirinnerpinupasthree
of ourlovelyCurvettes
did.Wewere
floodedwith letterslaudingour
executive
editorDianeAndersonMinshall,associate
publisherSaraJaneKeskulaandassistanteditorKatie
Peoples.
Fromfriendsandfamilyto prisoners,
Hollywood
publicistsandcollege
alumnigroups,cuRvE
gotletters,callsandemailsfromnearandfar about"I Was
a Middle-Aged
Pinup"[Vol.18 #1].Thanksfor the madprops!
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Letters
A Gamer Speaks
I am a female gamer. I love CURVE. Your magazine mentions a lot of new "tech" ideas, but you
are forgetting the very successful gaming market.
There are girl gaming leagues that gamers can join.
Just like bowling leagues, but with less of a caloric
burn. I currently belong to the gamerchix league.
We will all play on Xbox Live different nights of
the week with different games. Xbox Live has even
teamed up with Logo and a lot of other shows are
available to download for points. Some lesbians
get into the cyber-nerd hype. Remember Angelina
Jolie in Hackers? Not all of us are as nerdy as you
may think. I'm not telling you how to run the
magazine, but it would be pretty cool to see a
game review along with the new movie or DVD
reviews. Thanks for letting me put in some input.
-
Love and Desire
I love this magazine. The photography is top
notch. I enjoy the current events information pertaining to the lesbian community. It's about time
we had a slick, good-looking magazine to represent our community. Keep up the good work.
Yeah, go CURVE! - Teresa, Las Vegas
I picked up your magazine for the first time the
other day and was rather surprised to see it was
both informative and fun. I will not subscribe,
however, because everything you said to look to
the website for (example-the lesbian quiz) cannot
be found after an hour of searching. You might
want to get a search bar on the site or make it
easier to navigate. It does not do your magazine
justice. - Susan, Youngstown, Ohio
Melissa, Chattanooga, Tenn.
It would be great to read an interview with
Scottish actress Laura Fraser. I think she's been
overlooked for far too long. Although she is
straight, she has played the part of a lesbian in
The Investigator and most recently in the incredible movie Nina's Heavenly Delights (and she had
a brief girl-girl kiss in Iron Jawed Angels). She's an
amazing performer who's been in numerous movies and it would be interesting to hear some of her
views and opinions. - Lisa D. Breck, Ferndale,
Mich.
Got Something on Your Mind?
Email letters@curvemag.com; write to CURVE
Letters, 1550 Bryant St., Ste. 510, San Francisco,
CA 94103; fax to 415-863-1609. Please include
your name, city and state. Letters may be edited
for clarity and length.
Editor's Note: We are in the process of revamping
Editor's Note: Great news, Melissa: we're gamers,
our website Susan, so check back soon. As for the
too.Just check out Tech Girl in this issue and you will
search bar, at the bottom of every
see what we have been up to. And you'll be seeing lots
is the word "Search." Click on it and it will take you
more video game coverage in upcoming issues.
to a search bar.
CURVE
website page
Corrections
The photo of late author Jane Rule (Vol. 18 #2]
was taken by Sophie Verhagen. The company
Tourgi (Vol. 18 #2] no longer exists. ■
Contributors
"My mother burned hers on the beach 30 years ago, so there was
no chance of a dress handed down from mother to daughter;'
says BerendeMotier.
''I've never even put on a prom dress-it was
my first time in taffeta. I could have been a bridezilla big-time
given the chance:• Four years ago, she married her partner of 21
years in her mom-of-three uniform-jeans and a black T-shirt.
She finally caved to the call of the bridal shop, and while trying
on dresses, she learned that brides should order a dress one year
in advance, so plan ahead.
"Darkness falls and it's a long, cold, tedious ride. We should
have tried to find a hotel in that last small town;' says Carla
King,who thinks it's fun to ride cranky old motorcycles in exotic
places around the world so she can break down a lot and get
to know the locals. Her story "Get Your Motor Running" is
adapted from her upcoming book on riding through China, and
demonstrates how being lost on a cold dark night in the back
country of Hebei Province might reward one with a spiritual
epiphany or two.
"Writing for CURVE is much more fun than writing my dissertation was;' says HeatherGilligan.She's also glad that she's now
writing articles that "people will actually read:' Her upcoming
projects include writing an article on same-sex sexual harassment
and finding the best place to drink Belgian beer in San Francisco.
Does she miss the great works of 19th-century literature?
"Sometimes;' she says, but whenever the urge to read something
set in the past strikes her, she turns to an Anne Perry mystery
instead of UncleTom'sCabin.
"I will embarrass myself in any way my editors ask just for the
opportunity to speak with wonderful women such as stunt
driver Gail Bowen;' says HilaryKyle,who also has an upcoming
interview with musician Kaki King. In the part of her life where
she still has control, she says, "I have recently completed the final
edit of my first novel, which hopefully you will read one day and
wonder how that spineless do-gooder wrote such a wonderful
piece of arr:'
Get an autographed copy of CURVE
signed by Dani Campbell herself!
6
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Signup nowat curvemag.com for a one-yearsubscription
to DaniCampbell's
favoritelesbianmagazine
andyou'llget
an autographed copy, absolutely FREEi
Hurry,suppliesarelimitedandDani'sgot a lot of friends!
Offervalidwhilesupplieslast-limited to thefirst 250subscribers.
Goodfor newsubscriptions
or renewals.
USsubscriptions
only.Norefundsonsubscriptions
withthisoffer.
Mustusecouponcode"dani08"uponcheckout.
Norainchecks.Allowupto 8 weeksfor
thedeliveryof yourautographed
copy.NotvalidwithanyotherCURVE
offer.
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1 L Wordactor Jane Lynch (left) with Lynn, Ann Cuminotto of Helping Heroes Productions
::i
at the HRC Women's Garden Party 2 Star Sweet Baby Jai (left) with writer Dee Jae Cox at
the Los Angeles opening weekend of Cox's play ProveIt On Me 3 HRC hosted the fifth sea,
son premiere of The L Word at Pi Bar in Minneapolis. Janis Verusso from the HRC Board • ~
Cl)
of Governors (left) was on hand to pose with Linsey Harding of the WNBA'.s Minnesota
Lynx 4 Volunteers from Basic Rights Oregon were on hand at the domestic partnership
registry in Portland, Ore., after the Family Fairness Act went into effect 5 Partygoers at
CURVE'sannual holiday bash in San Francisco 6 (From left) Writer Tracy E. Gilchrist, co,
median Sabrina Matthews ;nd Carrie Belin at the Vickie Shaw event in Long Beach, Cali£,
presented by All Out Films and Logo
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7 Heather Matarazzo (left), star of Logo'sExes & Ohs, and Alina Wilczynski (right), co-founder of
0 P.Lynx,introduce the panel at Women on a Mission: Lesbian Pioneers, Mavericks & Mavens in
New YorkCity 8 Former Oregon governor Barbara Roberts spoke at the BasicRights Oregon rally
9 Andrea Meyerson (left) and Vickie Shaw 10 CuRvE's annual holiday party in San Francisco
(ftom right to left) CURVEeditors Diane Anderson-Minshall and Colleen M. Lee, Anne
Moellering, PlanetOut vice president, and friend 11 Longtime lesbian activist and co-founder
of New York Chapter of NOW Ivy Bottini (left) and Judy Scheer ofYESDESIGNGROUP
at the HRC Women's Garden Party 12 Jasmine Hinds on the drum at the International Day
of Action Against Global Warming in Los Angeles 13 Attendees at the fifthseason premiere
of The L Word 14 Sacramento TV personality Kelly McAlister (right) with girlfriend Marci
Burba at cuRvE's annual San Francisco bash
April 2008
I 11
Attorney Fightsfor Rights
BuildingBridges
Homelessnessto Harvard
Ask attorney and workplace rights activist
Many consider AliceHomto be a writer, educator
and activist, and they'd be right, but Hom says
she's just a bridge builder.
"In whatever situation I find myself in, I tend
to think about networking and how to help likeminded people get to know others and to create
access for folks;' she says, "whether it's access to
knowledge, information, money, resources or
other people who may be able to help them:'
Hom garnered international recognition with
her seminal work co-edited with David Eng, Q
& A: Queer in Asian America. The anthology is
one of the few concerning Asian American queer
Growing up in an abusive household in a
staunchly conservative, working-class small town
in the Mojave Desert while knowing she was "the
weird kid who was never interested in boys" left
Tanene
Allison
feeling trapped.
Her solution? Allison skipped her senior year
of high school and drove as fast as she could to
San Francisco with no money or connections.
To make ends meet she took multiple part-time
jobs, sometimes sleeping in shelters, sometimes
crashing on friends' sofas. Yet hers is a tale of
homelessness to Harvard.
"I refused to believe my story would be one of
failure;' says Allison. "I mean, numerous amazing
people supported me along the way.And I worked
as hard as I knew how to, I never got decent sleep,
but that was all driven by some stubborn belief
that my life would become something of purpose
and beauty:'
Sharon
Malheiro
what her vision is for successfully
achieving LGBT civil rights, and her answer is
simple and direct.
"We still need to be our own best advocates;•
she says.
Malheiro, who has spent years helping to
change and formulate Iowa laws to become
more inclusive of the LGBT community, noted
that her Des Moines-based employer had included
sexual orientation and gender identity in its
Equal Employment Opportunity statement, but
did not offer domestic partner benefits.
When she inquired as to why, the answer
was that no one had asked before.
"Within five days of my asking the question,
our firm began offering domestic partner benefits;'
ilieu~
,
Many corporations, noted Malheiro, "don't
realize that adding domestic partner health care
benefits for lesbian and gay employees engenders
minimal costs, but has an enormously positive
impact on their employees, as well as their ability
to recruit new employees:•
When she's not providing legal counsel
to companies on workplace issues, Malheiro
devotes countless hours to grassroots efforts,
including the LGBT Community Center of
Central Iowa where she currently serves as
president, and One-Iowa, a newly formed advocacy organization working to achieve LGBT
equality through voter identification, community
organizing and educational events.
If you know of any LGBT activists
or any women who are Out in Front
at work, home or in the community,
please let us know by writing to
curvesoutinfront@hotmail.com.
12 j curve
studies and is used for scholarly research in colleges and universities across the country.
In the past decade, Hom has lent her talents
to numerous community outreach groups for
program and resource development, and she now
serves as Board Chair for the Astraea Lesbian
Foundation for Justice and the California
Community Partnerships Manager for the
National Gender and Equity Campaign. She's
also often seen on the university lecture circuit,
• addressing audiences on the politics of identity,
working to end violence and building coalitions.
Hom, currently completing her doctorate at
Claremont Graduate University, believes there
have been many gains in the past 30 years for
the LGBT community, but that there is much
more work to do.
"Discrimination, prejudice and oppression
based on race, gender, sexuality, socio-economic
status, ability and religion still exist on different levels for people all around the world;' Hom
observed. "One way to address these injustices is
to realize that we have to see that our issues are
interconnected, and that we can't have human
rights for just some people and not fight for the
rights of everyone:'
At 19 she was an active member of the San
Francisco Youth Commission. She's trained with
Emerge: Women Leaders for a Democratic Future,
and assisted in educating the Massachusetts
legislature about gay marriage for the United
Leaders Institute of Public Service.
"It's about power, you know, and who has
the power to create such situations, and who has
the power to change them;' says Allison, now 26
years old. "It all comes back to politics, and using
those systems to create a better world:'
In 2006 Allison graduated from Harvard with
a master's in public policy and then consulted
with MTV, coordinating their political work.
"Whether we like it or not, our mere existences are political;' she said. "It's rare that the
timing of a movement is so right and so ripe,
and we re right there right no'w,and we need all
the energy and creativity we can get behind this
movement:'
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Curvatures
Kahlo Hits the Road
MORE TIDBITS
Carpenter, and the art historian and Kahlo biographer Hayden Herrera, will trace her 28-year career.
Frida Kahlo is best known for her graphic,
haunting
self-portraits,
which often depict her
with her bleeding heart exposed. As a child, Kahlo
was severely maimed in a bus accident. Later, she
endured an abusive relationship with the painter
Diego Rivera. So it is no surprise that her paintings
starkly reflect both physical and emotional pain.
Although all of her art is deeply personal, there
is more to her work than heartache. Kahlo played
an integral role in artistic and political revolutions
throughout
the world; that involvement in the
larger world is also represented in her paintings.
Even her still lifes can, through their subject matter
The Mexican artist Frida Kahlo (1907-1954)
would have been 100 in 2007. In celebration, the
and sense of forced reserve, give the viewer an idea
of who she was as a woman and an artist.
The show travels to
Walker Art Center in Minneapolis and the San
Philadelphia
Francisco Museum of Modern Art organized a
opens in San Francisco
(in time for Gay Pride),
traveling exhibition featuring over 50 of her paintings and some of her photographs-many
of which
had never been seen before.
The bisexual artist's career began in 1926 and
continued until her death. The exhibit, which is
curated by the Walker's associate curator, Elizabeth
before
and runs through Sept.
28. Find out when it's in
a town near you (or when
you should plan a trip to
go see it) at walkerart.org.
Coffee with Marilyn
The Coffee With... series-eight tiny books sold with full-size coffee
mugs-imagines question-and-answer sessions with dead cultural icons.
The interviews with Marilyn Monroe and Oscar Wilde will satisfy queer
fans and fanatics alike. These fictionalized conversations turn biographical facts into juicy stories. If you ever wanted to know how Marilyn
Monroe ended up in bed with a president, or which man landed Wilde
in jail for breaking England's sodomy law, you can find out here.
Drawn largely from interviews and the icons' own published writ-
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ings, these books capture Monroe's trademark wistfulness and Wilde's
famous wit. But they also reveal the lesser-known sides of the stars'
personalities. Monroe's fury at being typecast as a bombshell shines
through in her account of divorcing Arthur Miller after he wrote her
•the role of an overemotional bimbo in The Mis.fits.And Wilde comes
across as more than a sarcastic
CURVATURES
WRITTEN
BY
dandy, especially in the description
of his painful post-conviction life
as an exile in France.
And what of Monroe's Sapphic
MeaChavez,
Heather
GIiiigan,
Colleen
McCaffrey,
KatiePeoples,
Kristin
A.
side? That may be another story.
Smilh,UnaSWlslockl
(dbponline.co.uk)-HG
14
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LisaShennan
waspromoted
to executive
vicepresident
andgeneralmanager
of Logoin NewYorkCity.Shewasthe
seniorvicepresident
fortwoyears,during
whichsheledthe LGBT
TVnetwork's
launch.
LisaLargess,
a 44-year-old
lesbian,
wasnarrowlyapproved
for ordinationin the Presbyterian
Churchin the
SanFrancisco
region.Herapproval
is thefirst sincea 2006resolution
by
the Presbyterian
General
Assembly
thatallowsgayandlesbianordination
candidates
to conscientiously
objectto
a still-in-effectpolicyagainstordaining
non-celibate
gayandlesbiancandidates.
GLAAD
is urgingpeopleto complain
to the NewYorkPostafterit refused
to changethe inflammatory
headline,
"EvilLesbianMomLeftToddler
to Die
a SlowDeath:DA"andtheoveruse
of
sensationalistic
phrases
suchas"lesbian
lovers"in thestory.GLAAD
saidthePost
wouldnothavehighlighted
thesexual
orientation
if thestoryhadbeenabouta
straightwoman.
A recentsurveybygay-owned
Community
Marketing
Inc.showsthat
gaymenandlesbians
traveloncruises
threetimesasoftenastheirstraight
counterparts-and65 percentof them
tooka cruiseona mainstream
line,
showingthatthereis a hugeopportunity
for companies
to cashin.
It'sthattimeof year.GirlBarDinah
ShoreandTheDinaharehitting
the California
desertonApril2-6.
Entertainment
at thecompeting
events
includesTheL WordsLeishaHailey
andherband,UhHuhHer,indiedarling
ColbieCaillat,Suzanne
Westenhoefer
andBelindaCarlisleandtheGo-Go's.
(dinashoreweekend.com,
thedinah.com)
Former
VicePresident
AlGorerecently
announced
hischangeof heartregarding
full same-sex
marriage.
Duringhis2000
runfor the presidency
he,likethisyear's
Democratic
presidential
hopefuls
Sens.
HillaryClintonandBarackObama,
supported
civilunionsbutnotsame-sex
marriage.
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Lesbians Gather in
North Carolina
Annie Lennox
Sherri Schwartz decided to leave Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., because of
the weather. "It all goes back to climate change;' .she says. "The
water is so hot, it's a fiesta for hurricanes:'
During her search for property elsewhere, she came upon
what she calls an oasis of liberalism surrounded by the Bible
Belt: Asheville, N.C. Asheville's population is made up of college
students from the nearby University of North Carolina, foodies
drawn to the region for its vegan and vegetarian delights, spiritual
types who are attracted to the ions rumored to linger in the air
around the mountains and retirees and second home,owners from
all over the South who are drawn to the beautiful scenery.
When Schwartz started looking for a house though, things
got a bit hairier. She couldn't find a builder she trusted to do a
good job constructing a home for a couple of lesbians. Southern
people are very nice, she stresses, and accepting of anyone who
doesn't "flaunt their differences:' Still, "you feel better in a com,
munity where everyone is the same:' But rather than throwing in
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Hayden Panettiere
"I have friends who have told me that if their partner
gets sick, they wouldn't be allowed in the hospital
room because they' re not considered immediate
family and they have no spousal rights. I think it's
very unfortunate that a person can't marry who
they want to marry. Everyone should take care of
their own business without judging others. Like I
always say, 'Don't judge me unless you've walked
a mile in my shoes."' >> Reba McEntire, to Blue
Streak when asked about gay marriage
"I slightly despair of women ever having reasonable
partnerships with heterosexual men because I
think we're just such different creatures, on such
different planets. I think that's why homosexual
men seem to get on so much better with each
other, because they know their own mind-set so
much better." >> Annie Lennox, to OUT magazine
about whether she thinks men are the problem
in our society
"You want to make me a lesbian? That's totally fine
with me. We could do a love affair with Angelina.
We could do ... Oh gosh, I love- there are so
many beautiful girls. Charlize Theron. Oh, my
God. Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous. Jessica Alba."
>> Heroes star Hayden Panettiere, to GQ on
what romantic rumor they could start about her
April 2008
I 15
Zahava Sherez
"My background does not affect my art; it is my art;' the sculptor Zahava Sherez says, standing in her Oakland, Cali£, studio surrounded by
her work, a mass of buyers and her own students.
Sherez was born in Argentina, grew up in Israel, and spent several years in Connecticut before moving to California. Her cosmopolitan
background shaped her worldview and her desire to use art to represent the inherent human spirit that links women across racial, ethnic and
religious differences.
•
It was the idea of rethinking the typical role of women and the desire to challenge "all of the ,isms" that plague our culture that drew Sherez
to sculpt. Sculpting in stone called to her because it was "manual labor:' It is unusual, she says, to see women working in heavy materials with
electric tools.
She likes the challenge of the blank block: "I want to see the soul" she says of shaping rocks into women. The
act of prying a soul from an inanimate object, she feels, reminds us of what is possible when we identify with
each other; if she can see humanity in a stone, then surely we can see it in all people, despite social divisions. "It's
more difficult to keep being the way we are;' she says of her hope for progressive change.
Her workspace and gallery are filled with sculptural representations of the female form, including three,
dimensional women hewn from stone and colorful reliefs of women's faces composed in mixed media, which
hang on the walls. Her sculptures all seem slightly tribal-her Storyteller sculptures are empty cloaks shaped to
suggest the forms of life,sized women sitting cross,legged. Her Tribal Women series is small figures you could
hold in your palm. Like the Storyteller, they are clutching hooded cloaks, but they also bend forward slightly, as
if traversing a windy desert together.
She attributes her interest in women of diverse ethnicities and nationalities to her childhood days in
Argentina. "My nanny was a woman of color;' she says. "She was my first love:'
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Women's Trivia Factoids
Left-handed women
run a 42 percent higher chance of developing
breast cancer than right-handed women.
Mary, Queen of Scots
was not only the first female
golfer, and one of the youngest rulers of all time, but also
rumored to be a lesbian.
The
first African American woman
to practice law was named Charlotte Ray.
She was admitted to the bar in 1872 after graduating from
Howard University Law School.
Pharmacist, chief executive and lawyer are the three
occupations with the highest earnings among women.
The band Blondie was
originally called the Stilettos.
lesbian couples
have better communication skills than heterosexual
A recent long-range study shows that
Lucille Ball was on the first
cover of TV Guide and has been on
more covers than anyone else since.
couples. They also use fewer hostile tactics.
11,000
number of tampons
the average woman
uses in a lifetime.
In 1958, Julia Child
became the first
woman to be given the
title "chef."
Poet Maya Angelou was totally mute for
five years because she felt responsible for the
death of the man who raped her when she was 7.
All facts can be found in The Big Book of Women's Trivia by Alicia Alvrez.
April 2008
I 17
Curvatures
Lesbofile
Gay Is the New Black
Celebrity lesbian experiences are so hot right now. I By Jocelyn Voo
This month, everyone wants to be gay-straight
girls, bisexual girls, and even one very special formerly closeted icon.
A Bit Too Friendly
Years ago, when she was still dating Mick Jagger,
supermodel Janice Dickinsonthawed her icy
screen persona when she consoled her best friend,
a 'gorgeous platinum beauty" named Pia, who'd
just broken up with Ron Wood, Jagger's fellow
Rolling Stone. However, perhaps she thawed a bit
too much. "Pia and I ended up spending an awesome evening together-having the best sex ever.
Maybe it was her grief at losing one of the greatest
rock guitarists in history. Or maybe she was just
horny. Whatever. As girl-on-girl interludes go, it
was hot, steamy and wild;' she allegedly told the
News of the World. Being with a woman, it seems,
trumps dating men. Says Dickinson, "You get to
have sex, swap shoes and that toilet seat stays
down at all times:• Can't argue with that.
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Many have wagged their tongues at Tila Tequila's
reality dating show-and
not in a good way.
While the MTV show was heavily touted as the first
reality show featuring a bisexual, it's "all a sham;' a
source close to the show told the New York Post.
"Tila has and has had a boyfriend for over a year,
and she's not really bi. She's made out with some
girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi
at all:' While a rep for Tequila confirmed to the
Post that the pint-size star was indeed bisexual,
it may come as no surprise that Bobby Banhart,
the guy Tequila ended up choosing over swoonworthy firefighter Dani Campbell,said he never
heard from the exotic beauty after he supposedly "won" her heart. Tequila claimed on MTV's
New Year's Eve special that Banhart dumped her
because of her overpacked schedule. Banhart,
however, said on a Dec. 30 message posted on
MySpace that "she never called me after the last
show and no one would give me her number:'
Hollywood's solution to put the "he said, she said"
to rest? A second reality show season.
Scary Spice
A Spice Girls reunion tour? Ahh, nostalgia. The
fivesome reunited this past December and revealed
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that they were all dose-though
perhaps closer
than anyone had previously thought. According to
Fox News, Mel C, aka SportySpice,insisted that
their bond was "sisterly;• but the others weren't
quite as adamant. "We don't fight and we don't
share clothes;' Melanie"ScarySpice"Brownsaid.
"And we don't sleep together:• "She has tried it on
schoolgirl outfits and suck on lollipops before frolicking in a pool wearing red swimsuits. Can't get
over the whole sister thing? No worries-later in
the video, Penelope gets hot with Alias actor Mia
Maestro.Ahh, family ties.
Another Door Opens
us though;' Victoria"PoshSpice"Beckhamsaid,
Thank God. At this point, we think the only perpointing at Brown. 'Tve had to say 'no' so many
son who doesn't know JodieFosteris gay is Jodie
times:' Adds Geri"Ginger
Spice"Halliwell,
"I mean,
Foster hersel£ But now even she seems to be comcould you imagine waking up to this [points to
ing to grips with it-sort 0£ During her acceptance
Brown's body] every day of your life? I just can't
speech at the Women in Entertainment awards
stop staring at your boobs:'
ceremony this past December, Foster gave gratitude to her partner, film producer Cydney
Bernard,
"who sticks with me through all the rotten and the
Family Ties
Hot off her Oscar nomination for Volver, Penelope bliss:' The pair has been together for 14 years and
Cruztraded down from the silver screen to ignite
are raising two young sons, but Foster has been
the small screen-with a lesbian kiss. No kidding.
notoriously silent about her private life. This is the
In her younger brother Eduardo's music video for
first time Foster publicly recognized Bernard, cit"Cosas Que Contar;' a very hot Penelope and her
ing her as "my beautiful Cydney:' Welcome to the
equally hot sister, Monica, wear Britney-esque
outside, Jodie. It's a great place to be. ■
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''One of the
Coming Out Goes Global
Perhaps second only to our first
something she felt she needPride parade, the one day we LGBT
ed to read hersel£ and "it's
folks never forget is the day we
obvious from the news that
come out. Whether for the first or
coming out of the closet is
the tenth time, coming out can be a
still difficult, even in America:'
nerve-wracking experience requirOriginally published in 1991
ing something a bit stronger than a
by HarperCollins, the book
martini to take the edge of£ Lesbian
received rave reviews for
author Kittredge Cherry's powerful
showing that "secrets are
guide to coming out, Hide & Speak,
something to be honoredmay be just the tool you need to build
sometimes kept, sometimes
your confidence. Helion Press,
revealed for the light they
a major commercial publisher in
shed
on what makes us
BYKITTREDGE
CHERR'V
...., dWOM>NSWOID
Poland, seems to think so.
human:' Cherry's groundOnly three other books on queer
breaking book was recently
sexuality are available in Polish, all of
updated and re-released by
which treat it as a disease. Helion Press recognized
AndroGyne Press, based in Berkeley,Cali£ Stressing
the relevance of Cherry's book and signed a contract
the importance of having a support system, Cherry
for its translation shortly before National Coming
says, "Readers will learn to live proud, free and
balanced, no matter what happens:' An author,
Out Day.'Tm delighted to introduce Polish gays and
lesbians to the power of coming out;' Cherry said. spiritual director, art historian and ordained min'The ideas in my book are so new in Poland that the
ister, Cherry writes to "stimulate readers to enrich
expression 'coming out' doesn't even have its equivtheir own lives:• Universal in its message and not
alent in Polish yet:'Giving positiveexamplesof finding limited to homosexuality, she says Hide & Speak
the balance between keeping and hiding secrets, the
is a "life-changing handbook useful for all people
book even provides exercises that "allow readers to
who struggle with secrets and their consequences:'
take self-paced steps toward positive and dynamic
No matter what we hide or the language we read,
self-discovery and freeing oneself from the secret:' Cherry reminds us that "sometimes telling the truth
Initially, Cherry wrote the book because it was is difficult, but living a lie is even harder:' - CM
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SECRETS
out there..."
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Strictly
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stereotypes"
-AFTERELLEN
.com
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April 2008
I 19
Advice
Lipstick & Dipstick
Should I Follow My Bliss?
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I've been dating
my girlfriend for a year, and I think she's
really wonderful, but whenever I try to bring
up the future she changes the subject. She's
said things to me when we're in bed like,
"Wouldn't it be nice if we lived together?"
and "You're so good with kids, it makes me
want to have them with you." But when I try
to have a conversation with her about it after
we put our clothes on, she shuts me down.
She doesn't want to talk about it. Also, we
are both 24. Are we too young to get serious?
Should I cut my losses and move on? Or
should I be more patient and try to work this
out? - The Marrying Kind
Dipstick:Yahoo for her. Too many lesbians these
days are rushing off to get married and have
babies. Your situation is very similar to one we deal
with in our book. Follow these fivesimple steps and
the answer will become quite dear to you: 1) Relax.
Put it in perspective. You think she's wonderful and
you're having a good time together. Celebrate that.
2) Talk to her. See if she even realizes that she's giving you mixed messages. 3) Reflect on what she
said. Did it make sense, or did she keep contradicting
herself with a bunch of mumbo jumbo? 4) Talk to
your friends. Is this a pattern for you, falling hard
and fast and wanting to move in too quickly? If it is,
your best gals will be honest with you. 5) Chill. You
can beg and visualize and work all kinds of voodoo
spells, but you can't force someone to commit who
isn't ready to do so. Accepting where she is isjust part
of learning to love her unconditionally. Something
you'll need for a long-term relationship.
Lipstick:
You're so pragmatic, Dipstick. You'vegot a
five-step process for everything. Marrying Kind, it
is possible for you to have a serious relationship at
24 and you should always go after what you want
with abandon (notice I didn't say reckless abandon),
but you must be careful here. I'm talking about with
your heart. I worry that while you're cooing in her
ear about babies and pickets fences, she's scanning
the room for someone with larger boobs or a bigger
bank account (aka someone who's not you). Do you
worry about this, too? The best advice I can give is to
be patient and not push too hard-yet. A year-long
relationship, believe it or not, is still pretty young.
You should keep the lines of communication open,
but don't put unnecessary pressure on the situation.
There will be a time for chat (maybe in a year or so),
but for now, play it cool. If she's anything like me,
she'll be turned off by a beaver that's too eager.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I'm a lesbian in
the Army and I am what they call "on the way
out," which basically means my career with
the military is done. I joined the Army at 22,
so I had a few years of college and life under
my belt. I have big dreams and my goal is to
be a filmmaker. I've worked on a few scripts,
I am an advanced
video editor and my
plan is to move to
Los Angeles. I have
had my fair share
of dramatic relationships in the past and decided
to be totally career-oriented. Then she happened ...We met, we spent time together and
barn-I'm in love. I fit better with her than
anyone I've dated. Of course the problem is
I have these big dreams and can't exactly
chase them if I stay here in Ohio with her.
She is in college with big dreams of her own.
We are both totally taken with each other,
but afraid of getting in the way of the other's
main goal. Do I give it a try or focus totally
on myself? Does it make me selfish if I have
to hurt someone else to live out my dream?
- Talented in Toledo
Lipstick:Who says you can't have it all? Kick chat
notion to the curb. You'll have to figure out logistics
(like how you'll manage a long-distance relationship for a while), but those are just details when it
comes to something as massive as true love. You've
met someone with whom you deeply connect, so
do not choose your career over her. If you do, you'll
end up with a bunch of screen credits, but no one
to share chem with; success is much sweeter when
someone's holding your hand (especially if she's
smokin' hot). And believe me, you can have both.
As for your budding career as a filmmaker: rock
on. After you're done reading CURVE, go to your
computer and pull up POWER UP's website
(power-up.net). Join this dynamic organization
right away.They're all about giving dykes the means
to manifest dreams, while promoting the success of
gay women in entertainment, the arts and media.
Dipstick:Talented lesbian, put that creative brain
to work. You don't have to move to Hollywood to
work on screenwriting and video editing. Lipstick
is working on a movie right now and she lives in
Portland, Ore. Nose around for production companies in Ohio, or buy a camera and start producing
movies of your own and post chem on YouTubeget a buzz going. But if your dreams really are on
Sunset Boulevard, talk your vixen into transferring
to UCLA. Whatever you do, don't sacrifice your
dreams for a girl.
20
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Ask Fairy Butch Advice
I Like Girls Like That
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: Am I a lesbian? I live in Taiwan and have been married almost seven years, unhappily for
the last two, and have been separated
for months. I have had a girlfriend now
going on six months. I've always been
into girls, but I've never acknowledged
it. Now I find myself not even attracted
to men. Could this just be because my
marriage is ending? Will I find myself
attracted to men again? Am I finally
becoming who I've been hiding? Or am
I bi? I'm scared to even say that word,
for my girlfriend is against bisexuals.
She also says it's too risky to be with
one. Help! - Tom in Taipei
Lipstick:Yet another woman who is/ was
married dealing with repressed homo tendencies. Wow, there sure are a lot of you out
there. Dip, maybe this should be our next
book. First, Torn, try and relax. Think Zen
thoughts. If you're following your heart (and
your pussy-sometimes it's the only honest
gauge), you're on the right path. You won't
have answers for some time, so try and find
peace without them. An old Chinese proverb reads: Muddy water let stand will clear.
During the tumultuous times surrounding
my own sexuality years ago, I kept this quote
taped to my dashboard and found great comfort in it. Do the same and trust that one day
the answers will slowly float to the surface.
Dipstick:Lip, let's start working on that
book right away. If we had an electoral vote
for every time we've been asked that question, there'd be a big ol' butch dyke living
in the White House. Are you bi? Are you a
dyke? You're going to have to figure it out for
yourself like the rest of us. As Lipstick says,
take some time, journal, meditate, read coming-out books and get laid. Don't let us tell
you who you are, and don't let your bi-phobic
girlfriend tell you either. Listen up, lesbians:
Bi girls are no more unfaithful than gay gals.
Let 2008 be the year we lesbians stop bi bashing (and trans bashing, too). ■
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Q.
Ask us anythingaboutsex, loveor lesbiansat
lipstickdipstick.com.
Dear Fairy Butch: I'm having a problem with
girls. See, I'm butch. I've gotten a number of
offers, as it seems that butches are in high
demand. Most of the girls that go after me are
sweet, pretty and nice, but they're femmes
and I'm all about butches. I've gotten some
bad reactions; I feel like I'm weird and dysfunctional because of it. I met one other
butch and found out she had a
crush on another butch. She was
quick to defend herself, like,
"Oh, I usually don't like girls
like that..." and she was really
embarrassed. What's wrong
with me? What's wrong with everybody else? There's got to be
someone else out there like me,
except there doesn't seem to be. Thanks for
your help. - Butch on Butch in Baltimore
DearBOB:Darlin: there's nothing wrong with you
that the right attitude and a nice bulldagger with
a plump package and impressive forearms couldn't
fix. It is perfectly fine, regardless of what anyone
says or implies, for butches to go out with other
butches, or femmes with femmes, or androgynous
girls with butches or femmes, or any combination of
genders, for that matter. Now that we've gotten that
vexing morality question out of the way, let's move
on to a discussion of particular issues involved in
butch-on-butch relationships and resources to help
you meet other butches and have successful unions
with them.
Get the word out to mutual friends that you' re
looking, and be specific in personal ads that you're
a butch looking for another butch. Check out
lesbotronic.com; it has a very inclusive policy for
personal ads. As for issues pertinent to BOB relationships, I've talked to BOB fans who like the
feeling of brotherliness, of kinship and of mutual
understanding and camaraderie-not
to mention
the doubled wardrobe. Some unique challenges that
BOB relationships present include dealing with a
perhaps greater sense of competitiveness, getting
recognized by others as a couple and resolving conflicts over chivalry: Who opens the restaurant door
for whom? Who opens the car door for whom? and
the like.
If you're interested in reading some stories about
BOB sex, check out Set in Stone: Butch-On-Butch
Erotica, edited by Angela Brown. Lesbian daddies
and bois and butch-on-butch adventure can be found
at bdsmlife.net/LdbOnline. Finally, there's a wonderful site specifically for "butch lesbians, transmen,
trannyfags, genderqueers, daddies and boys who are
interested in the same'' at strapdivision.com.
Best of luck to you, my dear, on your
quest for butch-on-butch satiation.
Dear Fairy Butch: My wife
and I were invited to our
gay friend's home for
a Green Bay Packers
game. Our friend lives
with her mother, and at
this time I was not aware
that her mother was completely oblivious to her sexual
preferences. The day of the party,
we received a call from our friend asking us
not to wear our wedding bands, because she
did not want her mom offended. She said
that we needed to respect her mom and her
home. Well, you can imagine how I reacted.
Offended? Respect? I explained to her that
she was in fact offending us by asking us to
remove something representing so much to
us both. I understand comfort levels, and it
is each individual's right to "come out" when
they feel comfortable, and who am I to force
the issue, but don't ask me to go back into
a closet after years of working my way out.
Was I wrong? - Gay in Green Bay
DearGreenBay:Wrong? Absolutely not. Regardless
of whether or not your friend is in the closet and not
out to her mother, you are not required to jump back
in because she's afraid that the way you're living your
life will make someone else uncomfortable. It is, however, a good thing that she communicated her point
before you showed up at her house, rings on and
French onion dip in hand. Frankly, I think that your
friend is going to have to work on corning out, or at
least being comfortable with people around her being
out, if she wants to continue being an integral part
of you and your wife's lives at this time. It's a shame
to lose a friend, for good or temporarily, but it's even
worse to swallow up who you are to make someone
else feel at ease. ■
EmailJb@fairybutch.comwith your queriesregarding
lesbianlife,sexualityand romance.
April 2008 j 21
Advice
Astro Grrl
A Career in Bloom
You are Aries (March 21-April 20)
Sex: You won't have to do anything except be your adorable sel£
bold, and the ladies will flock to you. Rams know how t~ control the
herd this April! Career:
You are bold, brash and beautiful at work.
brashand Or maybe we are confusing you with someone in another cubicle?
beautifulat Taurus (April 21-May 21}
work, Aries. Sex: You have a secret admirer. Will or won't she reveal herself
in April? Wear something revealing and see if she reciprocates.
Or maybe Career:Try to maneuver behind the scenes at work. Enlist the
help of a well,placed executive. She will give you a helping hand
we are wherever you need it. Ahem.
confusing Gemini (May 22-June 21}
you with Sex: There is a certain gal pal who yearns to be a lovergrrl. You
know her. Will you allow her co gee to know you better? Career:
someone Perhaps this is the time to set up a new business. Offer to handle
the paper,pushing and the long lunches.
in another
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
cubicle? Sex:
Will you heat up your office space with a little after,hours
romance? April brings on many different romantic possibilities.
Hey, but what about May and June? Career:Crabs will have
some great ideas to share on the job. Be sure chat you get the
credit you deserve. Accually, make it cash.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Sex: Archers sure know how to parry chis April. Don't sit back
and wait for it to come to you. Make the scene, chew the seen,
ery and be "scene:• Career:If you treat your job like fun and
games, it may be more palatable and delightful. Or maybe not.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Sex: Don't sic at home this April. Lionesses do their best work
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
from a distance. OK, so how about Europe? Career: or only
can you expand the range of your responsibilities, you can also
create the work schedule that you want. Hurry before they chain
you to your desk again.
Sex: Will you be the life of the parry or the death of it? Better
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
do the entertaining yourself this April. No one does it better ...
when there is an open bar involved. Career:Have you ever con,
sidered working from home? April may be the month to take
the plunge, but just be sure that you have enough water in chat
particular pool to swim the distance.
Sex: What is it about you chis April that drives the women era,
zy? I don't know, but try to bottle it and save a little for the dry
spells. Career:
You have a vivid imagination. What scenarios will
you conjure up at the job? How about the one where you're do,
ing a little work now and then?
Libra (Sept. 24-0ct. 23)
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19}
Sex: Less talk and more action will get you where you want to
go romantically. Tell her what is on your mind and see if she
is of like mind. Career:Pushing your opinion on co,workers
may not convince chem, but it will sure make you feel better.
Unfortunately, chis too shall pass.
Sex: Relationships heat up to a boil. Do you like your eggs poached,
scrambled or sunny side up? Cook'em by the dozens! Career:
You
can find the perfect business partner if you don't mind starting the
discussion now. One thing can lead to another ... and another.
Sex: They love you at work. Maybe even a little too much. Know
progresses. Maybe chat is because you are too exacting? Or
maybe you are setting your sights coo low. Career:
You can ag,
gressively go out and make some money chis April. The secret is
to save some of it for a rainy day. Err ...do I feel a drop? ■
when to say when. Or at least ask for a raise. Career:Planning
your work project schedule can keep you from going astray and
wasting time; however, procrastination can also work.
For more advicefrom the stars, visit our astrologer,Charlene
Lichtenstein,online at thestarryeye.com.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
221
curve
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
Sex: Your idea of the perfect woman may change as the month
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Dyke Drama
Michele Fisher
M M M My Corona
Trying to solve the mystery of automobiles and bisexual girls.
When we kissed that first time, I was glad I wasn't standing because I couldn't
have stayed on my feet. Every part of me was involved in that kiss. Every fiber
of me was devoted to that experience. Swooning had seemed like a ridiculous
concept until that day.
This issue has me thinking of my first car, a metallic blue Toyota Corona,
Cara, the first girl I ever wooed successfully in that magic automobile, and the
reason I bought fake fur seat covers for it. (They weren't just for looks.)
Cara was my first girlfriend, but I bet she wouldn't admit it if you asked
Unless you are ridiculously lucky, your first lesbian experiences are likely
to be with women who do not classify themselves as homosexuals. Consider
yourself fortunate if they admit to bisexuality, which at least is meeting you
halfway.
Everybody is "bisexual" before they come out; it is a rite of homosexual
passage-which is unfair to actual bisexuals because all of the gay,but,can't,
admit,it,yet fakers assume that since they are pretending, every other bisexual
is as well. Unfortunately, some of us homos are as clueless as the straight world
when it comes to seeing bisexuality as a destination rather than a rest stop.
How do I know? Because I was one of those little buttholes.
I suppose I was just mad at girls like Cara.
In any case, it was Cara who made a lesbian out of me, not that she would
want the credit for that. After I had been with her, men were erased from my
menu, and thus ended my brief career as a bisexual. I think I had the exact
opposite effect on her.
Cara and I met at work, at our after,school job in the mall. We were the ste,
reotypical Breakfast Club,type couple. She was a busty, giggly Catholic,school
girl, and I was the sarcastic stoner product of a blue,collar, public,school edu,
cation. She got good grades and did everything her parents wanted her to do,
and I smoked cigarettes and drank sloe gin out of the bottle-classy, right? I
was the bad influence, and I took my role to the point of caricature.
After closing time at the mall, we would sit in my car and smoke cigarettes
(I was hoping that smoking wasn't the only habit she would pick up from me),
listen to the radio and talk about how stupid it was in suburbia and how we
couldn't wait to get away from this place. I had the feeling she liked me, and I
definitely wanted her, but I wasn't going to make the first move. I really didn't
know what the first move was, so I couldn't very well make it. Consequently,
we spent a lot of time that spring of our senior year riding around in a car full
of cigarette smoke and sexual tension.
It turned out that she had a better plan than I did for getting away from
suburbia. She earned scholarships and applied to colleges. My big plan was to
move to Los Angeles, go to a community college, get another crappy mall job
down there and drink blue alcoholic beverages. We both ended up achieving
her. My first real girlfriend was Jessie, but she didn't enter the picture until a
few years after Cara and the Corona were long gone. "Real girlfriend" means
that both Jessie and I agreed that we were in a relationship; that part of that
relationship included sex; that we didn't have to be drunk or high to have the
sex; and that the sex did mean that we were lezzies, or something like that.
Cara, on the other hand, was the first of many supposedly straight girls
who just happened to find me irresistible early on in my lesbian career. It is
really flattering to have a straight girl interested in you, the first five times it
happens.
24 Icurve
our goals.
News of her acceptance to a college half a state away gave our romance the
boost that it needed to get underway.
One May evening, after a late,night snack of Boone's Farm and nachos,
consumed off my furry dashboard, she confessed that she was attracted to me.
I pretended to be shocked and confused and mumbled some drivel about the
importance of our friendship, just to make sure she really wanted me. But then
I chickened out when I realized I might talk her out of the moment I had been
living for all those months. I quickly leaned across the car so we could finally
kiss.
Like I said before, it was the moment that all other moments would follow.
I wanted to do it again and again. And so we did. I wanted more, a lot more,
but it was late and she was straight!
Which is why we were never allowed to talk about what we were doing.
When I attempted to discuss "us" she became silent or angry. We were not
gay, she told me. She liked boys, she kept reminding me. We were just really
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close friends. Everybody had bisexual tendencies. Our philosophies differed,
but I kept my mouth shut and kept getting my fixof her. I knew I would win
her over in time.
By the Fourth of July, we had passed third base and were sliding into home
fairly regularly in Coronaville. I had mastered where to park and what not to
say,and all was rosy and slick. I knew she was leaving in September, but we had
two months. I was in love, and we had plenty of time to figure things out.
By August, however, our friends and her family were starting to ask questions about our relationship. Her dad had already told her that he thought I
was one of those "lessbeens:• Cara was getting scared, and her fear ran right
When it was obvious that my moping was not going to convince her to stay
with me, I became sullen and angry.
It's hard to imagine how a woman could resist a lover who alternated between depression and rage, but Cara managed.
I wish I could tell you that she went off to school and I just got over it,
though those two things did happen eventually. After she left, I didn't hear
from her for a couple of weeks, which felt like 50 years. She sent me a stupid
postcard with a picture of her college mascot on the front of it and a couple
of lines about how hard school was and how busy she had been. She signed it
not with "love"-but with "hugs:•At least it was something, I thought I convinced
through me. She thought we should hang out with other people and be seen
more in public. What could I do:' We had so little time left, but she wasterrified. So we went to boring-ass beach parties and keggers-even went on
a double date with two guys. (That went really well.) We still had our moments, parked out in some remote corner of the county, but they were shorter
and sweeter. By the end of summer, everybody was convinced that she and I
had a perfectly normal friendship. I think she even convinced hersel£
As Labor Day loomed, I freaked out. I wanted to go with her to college. I
wouldn't make it in suburbia without her. Couldn't she postpone school for a
year until we could go somewhere together:' I pleaded. I begged. I pouted.
She said she couldn't bear to be without me either, but she also said she had
to go. She promised she would write often. Most women would have taken the
hint, but not me. I was in love and desperate to keep that romance alive.
myself that an unannounced visit to her school would be the perfect thing to
make her realize that she was miserable without me. We would be reu_nited,
and it would feel so good.
I drove for hours, and then I stood in front of her dorm. In the dark. For
another hour. Waiting for her. When she and her new friends finally showed
up, she gave me a less-than-warm welcome. She excused herself from the
group and asked me where I had parked. I pointed in the direction of my car.
She began walking me briskly toward it, all the while chastising me for embarrassing her and imploring me to get over our "friendship;' to move on with my
life without her.
At the first gas stop, I threw my seat covers in a trash can.
Bisexuality and automobiles. Come to think of it, I don't know anything
about either one. ■
April 2008
I 25
Politics
VictoriaA. Brownworth
Time for Renewal
Bring back the feminist revolution.
Spring gets me hopeful-I am a sucker for the budding trees and the hosts of
golden daffodils. Spring makes me think of new beginnings, even out of the
barrenness of winter. Spring makes me think we can remake the world.
I am a feminist. Not apologetically, under my breath. I believe that the
single most important civil rights movement of the 20th century was feminism. But then, I live in the United States, where women have a great deal of
freedom. I never cease to be grateful for the fact that I was born here. Being
born female in the majority of the world is a very, very bad thing. That is, if
you get to be born at all. Sex-selection abortion, for example, is rampant
throughout Asia and the Asian subcontinent.
From July through the end of December, my niece-she's 20 and a college
sophomore-was living, working and attending college in Egypt. She worked
for a nongovernmental organization in Palestine, which, as a young Jewish
woman who spent some of her childhood living in Israel and who has family
there, was an act of love as well as a dramatic commentary on her belief in
peace and her commitment to making the world a better place.
My niece returned to the States just before New Year's, her many months
abroad a life-altering blueprint for her future. We talked while she was
visiting the family for a few days, and the picture of her time in a dictatorship where women are chattel was as enlightening as it was maddening and
heartbreaking.
One night we sat talking. My niece has long, wavy brown hair, large, luminous eyes and perfect skin. She's petite, but curvy, almost breathtakingly
beautiful, with an easy wit and sharp intelligence to match. She is a formidable
young woman, remarkably fearless, and wears the privilege that comes with
being born female in the United Scates; she will not be made second-class.
But according to her firsthand reports, there was never a day in Cairo or
its outskirts when she was not the victim of demeaning and damaging sexual
predation. She was angered and repulsed by the constant assaults-verbal
and physical-but in no way cowed by them. As she noted, a tone of surprising bitterness in her voice,'i\t least I always knew I was coming home:'
In a very different, quiet voice, she added, "But as I traveled outside of
Cairo, it was so hard knowing that all around me were women who were
victims of FGM [female genital mutilation)."
We were eating dinner. le was not what my mother would have called
"polite" conversation, but then the realities of the lives that many women and
girls are forced to lead in this world have little to do with politeness.
Readers of this column know I am a survivor of rape. Once at 17 and
again a few years ago.
When my niece was sending me reports about the plight of women in
Egypt, I had a brutal exchange with an acquaintance in Libya. My Libyan
friend is American by birth, but has lived abroad most of her adult life with
her husband, largely in the Middle East and France. I had sent her a piece I
wrote about the Saudi Arabian woman-same age as my niece-who had
been gang raped when she was pulled from a car she had been sitting in with
a man who was not her relative.
After the gang rape, the men were given sentences of 10 months to five
years. But the victim was sentenced to 90 lashes for getting into a car with
an unrelated man, it is prohibited under Islamic law. When she protested,
26
I curve
Springis the time of renewal-of the
earth and of ourselves.So let us, as
women, as girls,pledgeourselvesto the
renewalof the eternalfeminine,the spirit
of all women that liveswithinus.
the judges increased her sentence to 200 lashes and six months in prison for
daring to challenge the initial ruling and for drawing media attention to her
case. She was eventually pardoned after intense international protest of the
ruling.
I was outraged by this case and wrote about the perils of theocracy for
women worldwide. My friend in Libya was appalled by my "insensitivity
and disrespect" for Islamic law. I told her I would be equally outraged had
this occurred in a Christian theocracy-except there haven't been any for
centuries.
She then told me that if the woman hadn't gotten into a car with strange
man, she wouldn't have been raped. So although the penalty seemed harsh
from my "Western perspective;' it was for the woman's own protection.
This Month at Curvemag.com
I am no longer friends with this woman. Not after this incident in which
she also chided me for the "infantilism of feminism:'
Feminism made blaming the victim declasse. I will not be blamed for being
raped, nor should any woman be blamed for crimes against her humanity.
Several years ago, I interviewed Pratibha Parmar. The director was born
in Nairobi of Indian descent, but grew up mostly in the United Kingdom.
She did a film on FGM with African American writer Alice Walker. Parmar
told me in one conversation how terrible it was for her as a lesbian to think of
having her clitoris ripped out and how she had suffered emotionally during
the filming of Warrior Marks.
Walker noted that FGM was one of the most murderous acts against
women and girls, and disguising it in the rubric of"culture" or ethnicity didn't
lessen the stunning violence of it. Which brings me back
to spring and the atmosphere of renewal. We need to re,
embrace feminism. Not just as a relic of the past, but as a
Belinda Carlisle & The Go-Go's: Just in time for Girl
Bar Dinah Shore, we catch up with the reunited GoGo's and chanteuse Belinda Carlisle in this
exclusive online interview, where she dishes
about her lesbian fans, her latest album and
her relationship with the Go-Go's. Carlisle
will be performing solo at Girl Bar's April 4
Pure White party at Hotel Zozo. Then she
and the Go-Go's will reunite on April 5 for
the Mardi Gras Masquerade at the Palm
Springs Convention Center for an unprecedented show in front of their first lesbian
audience. (Booking tickets? Try
dinahshoreweekend.com for
more info.)
revolutionary movement of the 21st century. You may not
be a victim of violence against women, per se. You may never
Michelle Fleury Talks Back:
The Curl Girls queen of the
long board dishes it all in this
up-close and personal interview with Colleen M. Lee.
have been raped or hit or threatened by a man. But our en,
tire culture-and
the world as a whole-codifies women,
hating. Violence is its most immediate reflection.
My niece, thankfully, was never attacked beyond being
grabbed at or verbally assaulted by men in Egypt. But in that
culture, the lives of women and girls have little value. They exist solely for the
pleasure of men and for procreation. They have no other function. They are
sexually mutilated to "protect" them from their own sexuality and to keep
them "pure" for their husbands. The Quran is given as the rationale for this,
Shot at Love: Where Are They Now? Want to find
out more about Tila Tequila and the red hot queer girls
of MTV's Shot at Love? We've got more with Ashli,
Vanessa, Amanda and Brandi.
but there is no FGM in the Quran. It is an invention of Sharia law.
Egyptian feminists are working now to get FGM outlawed. But they face
a bitter fight against tradition and against their second,class status.
I will always be a survivor of rape, but I did indeed survive. Although I was
sexually mutilated in both attacks, I healed, intact.
In the time it has taken you to read this column, women and girls through,
out Asia, Africa and the Middle East-as well as in Europe and the United
States-have
become victims of FGM. Throughout the world, women and
girls are being raped. Throughout the world, women and girls are being taught
that they are less than men and boys. Throughout the world, the revolution of
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feminism has yet to take root, bud and bring forth equality .
This spring, I would urge every woman and girl who reads this to spread
and girls-as well as men and boys. That feminism will alter the planet,
where rape is not even a crime in over 40 nations, where FGM is practiced
daily, where being female is reason to be aborted or left to die as an infant on
a roadside.
Spring is the time of renewal-of the earth and of ourselves. So let us, as
women, as girls, pledge ourselves to the renewal of the eternal feminine, the
spirit of all women that lives within us. And let us work to make feminism a
revolution that will save the lives of women and girls across the universe and
,
beyond. ■
I
0
updates, trivia and outtakes from our cover
story with Dani Campbell.
The MTV superstar who
stole our hearts is also
appearing at The Dinah
this month
(thedinah.com).
the word that the revolution is not over, but is just beginning, and has never
been more necessary. That feminism will revolutionize the lives of women
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Campbell: Find party
April 2008
I27
Hittin g
ru1se
I
Lesbian visitors will find a Detroit that's shifted gears into the
21st century. By Colleen M. Lee
Carmona passionately points out that
Woodward Avenue includes "the birthplace
of the automobile, where Henry Ford drew
the first car in his secret room, the first
modem auto assembly line, [and] the
message fit Detroit's image of a gntty and hungry city that didn't cater to
Piquette factory, which was the first car
outsiders. When I returned recently to visit, I expected to encounter more
factory in the world offering the $5-a-day
workday. It also is the location of the first
of the same attitude and a Detroit devoid of restoration, new business and
electric traffic light, and it was the first urban
friendly people-an isolated and abandoned urban wasteland doomed to
freeway to exist:' Take that, Los Angeles.
die a slow and sad death.
Cars are great, but with my interest in
green
solutions, I wondered, What if someInstead, I saw that the once culturally and financially starved Motor
one doesn't own a car? Carmona had the
City is making its way back. Don't get me wrong: Detroit still has an edge to
answer. 'There is a great push to make the
it, but the old rusty one has been replaced by the tailfin of a 1969 Cadillac
avenue more pedestrian-friendly and to
create
an elevated bike trait:' An ambitious
Eldorado-sleek, smooth and ready to hit 80 mph. Even better: It's surfeat, given the car culture in Detroit.
prisingly gay-friendly.
If you tire of all things auto, there are
plenty of other sights to see on or just off
Forcar Nuts:BottDownWoodward
Avenue-DayOne
Woodward: the only Frank Lloyd Wright house in Michigan,
Growing up in Detroit, autos are in your blood, and this girl Tech Town, five major museums, Wayne State University and
is no exception. I love cars; so when planning my visit, I had to
the Detroit Zoo (visitdetroit.com).
make sure I got in plenty of autos, plenty of history and, I was
Enterthe Slots-Day Two
hoping, a few Detroit curies to show me around. Luckily, I got
Detroit delights (clockall
three.
You
can't separate me from cars or the slots when I visit Detroit.
wise from top left):
Iridescence offers fine
I met my first guide, Heather Carmona, the executive This time was no exception. If you're a gambler, the city has
dining; the MotorCity
director of the Woodward Avenue Action Association, for three casinos-MotorCity, Greektown and the new $800 million
Casino and Hotel lights
up the night; visitors
breakfast. After oatmeal and a few cups of joe, we hopped in MGM. Satisfying your vice doesn't have to be a chick-and caradmire Diego Rivera's
her SUV and headed on our historical tour of Woodward
free experience. 'The MotorCity Casino and Hotel is the only
mural at the DIA;
historic Woodward
Avenue-a 27-mile stretch of road that runs from down100-percent female-owned [casino] in the country, plus it's run
Avenue, birthplace of the
town
Detroit
(look
out
for
the
gigantic
Joe
Louis
fist
sculpby
a woman COO;' explains cute guide No. 2,Jennifer Kulczycki,
automobile; a sculpture
outside Cranbrook
ture) to the Pontiac GM plant. For the lesbian autophile,
who admittedly is biased becaue s~e's the media and community
Academy; the Orpheus
relations manager of the MotorCity casino. If that isn't enough
this is the only street to travel-it offers everything car and
Fountain, Cranbrook
Art Museum
everything gay.
to-entice you to place those quarters in their machines, I dare say
In the '80s and '90s, T-shirts in my hometown welcomed visitors with
the words "Detroit: Where the Weak Are Killed and Eaten." Not"the warm,
fuzzy greeting visitors come to expect when they're on vacation, but the
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it's the only casino with flame-patterned carpets throughout, and
every detail celebrates Detroit and its auto culture.
After my day of touring all three casinos, I sat down to a
delicious dinner at Iridescence (think meat), and later a gin and
tonic from the bar led to a chat with some sporty girls at the
roulette table (and I finally won back the 200 bucks that I'd
lost that morning). At 4 a.m. I hit the pillow at the high-tech
MotorCity Hotel to get a few hours of much-needed shut-eye
before my day of gentility.
Museums,LeamingandCulture-DayTbree
My third and final day was going to be jam-packed-a half day
at the Detroit Institute of Arts and a half day at the Cranbrook
Academy of Art. I like to overwhelm myself with history and
culture after a big night of gin, gambling and girls-this day
would be no exception.
Enter guide No. 3, Nii 0. Quarcooppome, the curator of
African Art at the DIA (dia.org), and although we Wtre both
pleasantly surprised that we knew each other through mutual
lesbian friends when I lived in Detroit, Quarcooppome's main
focus was to tell me "what the DIA, after a $158 million renovation, had to offer the visitor." o luck getting in some girl talk
with an old friend, but I was here to learn.
There is so much to highlight during my DIA tour, but two
items are definitdy worth mentioning: the mural tribute to Detroit
industry by Diego Rivera (considered the most successful work
of his career and almost lost due to Rivera's communist lean-
Even if you're not into autos or gambling, visit
Michigan before or after the Womyn's Music
Festival. There are plenty of lesbianic things to
do in metro Detroit-in fact, this Midwestern
city offers everything lady travelers want and
need away from home.
leslliallligllldllbsl'B
SOHOadtlle RalRbowlloalll
Wondering where to get your gir1on? Try
SOHO, a hot, new gay club where Saturday
is gir1s' night and lots of sexy young urbanites
are dressed to impress. The Rainbow Room,
a lesbian institution in Detroit, is on Eight Mile
{think Eminem), the street where this writer
had her first taste of gir1bars over 17 years
ago. If you can handle the cigarette smoke,
the Rainbow Room delivers. Dance the night
away with a Detroit cutie you'll meet ordering
a gin and tonic at the bar. so ofem ale.com,
club ainbowroom.com
Ealllries Anion Baury and PralllD!
There are plenty of gay-friendly restaurants
in the metro Detroit area, but Avalon Bakery
and Pronto! are the can't-miss places to chow
30
Icurve
ings) and the integration of high-tech with antiquated displays.
"People want interaction,n Quarcooppome points out. "They
want their experience to be less stuffy and a bit more hands-on."
The DIA is the first museum to weave the old with the new
subtly and successfully with its virtual dining and drinking
interpretations and PDA multi media tours.
After a few hours of wandering inside a museum, I drove
down Woodward to meet my fourth and final guide, Liz
Lent, the communications manager at Cranbrook Academy
of Art (cranbrook.edu). After a lunch of chicken chutney
quesadillas, Lent and I headed to the beautiful grounds of
Cranbrook, and although it was a very cold and icy Michigan
winter day, the campus was no less incredible, with its sculptures,
gardens, landscaping and fountains. While we walked, Lent
showed me the most popular places to tie the knot-they've
even played host to same-sex ceremonies. The academy also
hosts a tightly guarded and prolific archive of historical artifacts,
which I am happy to report I got to see on a spur-of-the-moment tour.
HeadingBackto SF
When I le& Cranbrook and realized that my trip to Detroit
was over, a wave of sadness swept me. This visit had been like
no other-maybe because I was willing to see Detroit from the
point of view of a tourist, or maybe because Detroit is on the
fast track to being a cool place to vacation, with autos, history,
good food, fair slot machines and definitdy cute tour guides. ■
down. Avalon, opened by partners Jackie
Victor and Ann Perrault, has paved the way for
lesbian-owned businesses in Detroit proper for
over 10 years, with big, delicious and most of
all affordable baked goods. Pronto! provides
the hungry lez a menu of over 40 sammies to
choose from. And, after you're finished with
lunch, walk next door to Pronto!'s very gay bar
and sip on a martini in the garden.
ores
a com
Bookstore/Coffaeshop-Just
4 Us
Although the only lesbian bookstore in the area
closed its doors a few years ago, Just 4 Us is
the place to go for the gay coffeehound and
bookworm. During my visit, the store was sold
out of the latest issue of CURVE,so you know this
place is lesbian central. jus 4
.co
Place ID Hang-Afflnnatio Ui8T r.ntar
The $5.8 million, four-story structure opened in
2007 and is a must-see. Equipped with a full
studio for yoga, ballroom dancing, art exhibits
and movie night, as well as a computer lab, a
library, and a teen recreation and art room, the
center offers an average of 96 different activities
a month, with outreach to communities like seniors, Arab Americans and transgender youth.
goaffirma •ons.org
Pride MolorCityPride
Ferndale is Detroit's close neighbor and the
area's gay mecca. It hosts Detroit's Pride
festival-with events like Motor City Pride Idol,
a film festival, and commitment ceremonies at
City Hall-and has an openly gay mayor, Craig
Covey. Be sure to join the Pride fun on June 1.
motorcitypride.com
Resources,
Onll11 Betweenthe
lines andWomenOUtandAbout
Between the Unes, Michigan's LGBT weekly
newspaper, has lots for the boys, but gives
us gir1ssome attention too. It features news,
opinions, movie and music reviews, advice,
horoscopes and an interesting column called
"Creep of the Week.n WomenOutandAbout.com,
a social network for Michigan lesbians, provides a list of groups, events and humanitarian
opportunities. prideso rce.com,
womenoutandabout.com
Sure,
MTV's
newest
superstar is
America's
first lesbian
girl next
door, but
that doesn't
mean she
isn't also a
smokin'hot
mack daddy.
•
By Diane
Anderson-Minshall
Photography
by Melissa
Rodwell
Makeup by
Paula Queseda
America loves reality television, but when MTV's Shot at Love premiered, giving
viewers the first bisexual reality dating show, well, shock and awe was a more apt
description of their response. Each week as Tila Tequila, a woman whose claim to
fame was being the No. 1 girl on MySpace, put a host of girls and guys through
rather degrading tests like pudding wrestling and bull testicle eating, lesbians were
alternately compelled and repelled. Either way we were glued to the set. Clearly, we
were rooting for the girls-after all, MTV had split the show up by gender (lesbians
vs. the boys )-but within a few episodes it was clear we were rooting for one girl:
firefighter Dani Campbell.
A sweetly soft butch (who uses the word"futch" to describe herself), Dani is the
country's first lesbian girl next door. Everyone from little girls to middle-aged men to
aging grandmothers adore her. Even her own grandmother, Pat, who died after the
show aired but is forever immortalized for getting a lap dance from Tequila, was a
fan. "Grandma had the best couple of months after the show;' she says.'J\11she would
talk about was the show and how she couldn't believe that so many people liked her.
She cried with joy when she talked about some of her fans:'
No fan base is more fiercely devoted, of course, than lesbians. After the finale, in
which Tequila chose Bobby, a boy from Boston, over Dani, we were ready to pull her
into a warm embrace known as lesbocelebrityhood. No need, though, as Dani was
already a superstar. Today, Dani plays up her suave side for CURVE ( think big car, fat
stogie and a fly suit) but remains the girl everyone wants to love.
I've watched the show from the beginning, half fascinated and half
repelled. Did you watch it in playback, while it was airing?
Yeah, that's the first time I see it too, every time it comes on Tuesday night.
Has watching it play changed your feelings about the experience for you?
No, it didn't really change. It was just fun to see how everyone's character played out,
you know? Just to see how it plays on TV. It didn't change the experience, but it
kind of brought it together. It turned it into a story, so that was pretty cool.
The butch phobia that was happening at the beginning of the show so
perfectly represents what we actually see In our culture. I was wondering,
how much of that did you feel? How was that experience for you?
I train myself When I first came out as gay, it wasn't as comfortable-I wasn't as
comfortable as I am now. So, when I meet new people-and some people tend to
judge right off the bat-I'm just used to that. I'm just used to people being like "Oh,
what are you, a lesbiant It's okay, because I know once this person learns a little
bit more about [lesbians] ... once they get to know you and see what you are and
you're just a regular person ... all those stereotypes are broken. They don't judge
anymore. They don't judge as much as they did in the beginning. It got different
toward the end.
April 2008
I33
It was kind of interesting in those situations where the
guys would treat you like "one of the guys" and the girls
would treat you like "one of the guys."
Yeah, yeah, yeah [laughs].That's usually how it works.
Initially, Tila said, "I don't know about dating a girl who
doesn't wear high heels and makeup." But by the end of
the series she was saying that you were the best of both
worlds.
And that just goes to breaking down stereotypes, you know?
Tila was basing it off of what she sees about somebody, but
then she realized it's a combination, mentally and physically.
I broke lots of stereotypes about butchier lesbians.
When you were going into the final decision, how were
you feeling at that point?
I was feeling good. I was always confident during all of the
eliminations just because I felt like I had a lot to offer and
I felt the connection that Tila and I had even though the
cameras weren't always on us. We had a different connection
than anyone else did. I just had that confidence, and it just
kept me there until the end. When it was just Bobby and I
left, there was a 50~50 chance. Either I was going to get it or
I wasn't. I knew it was one or the other. At that point there
were only two options.
I love how absolutely outraged fans still seem to be that
Tila chose Bobby over you. At this point, how do you feel
about her decision?
I have to respect her for her decision. Do I think it was the right
one? No. I think Tila picked Bobby thinking that I was too
"settled" in my life. You know, a good job, a tubby dog, a
house, blah, blah, blah. She obviously didn't spend enough
time really getting to know me. I like to live by the seat of
my pants. I love traveling and getting into all sorts of crazy
fun. She said she thought my life was settled? I like to think
of it as stable.
I think a lot of lesbians were shocked. Were you crushed?
I was totally blindsided by the ending. Even Bobby was in shock.
We both thought Tila was going to pick me. I wasn't crushed
though. I was sad, but I wasn't crazy in love or anything. I try
to approach every obstacle I face with optimism. I believe
that if you're in a relationship with someone and they don't
choose to be with you, then you should walk away with
your head held high and let go. You can't make someone feel
something they don't. No ·need making yourself unhappy
trying. Instead, spend time with yourself and begin the
healing process. That's what I do.
Did you feel foolish for pouring your heart into it and
then getting rejected on national TV?
I had absolutely no regrets about this show. I chose to be on
TV, so I knew what could happen. My dirty laundry out for
everyone to see. Whatever. I don't see it as being rejected. I
know she had a tough decision to make. It's like picking your
favorite dessert, molten chocolate cake, or tiramisu. You like
both, but you can only have one.
You couldn't talk with anyone about it. How did you cope?
I like to believe that I'm a pretty headstrong kid. I like to say
"kid'"cause I'm getting up there. I used to have this thing as
34
Icurve
a child where I wouldn't talk to anyone about my problems.
That led me to do a lot of problem~solving mysel£ As I got
older and wiser I learned that talking to people is much
healthier. Unfortunately, I signed a huge contract stating
I wouldn't open my mouth to anyone until the end of the
show, or I would be working for MTV until I was 127. It
was pretty difficult at first, but it actually became a little fun
teasing my friends every time the show would come on. It
was doubly difficult because I couldn't date either. Oh, the
price we pay for love.
When they announced that they had broken up, was a
part of you vindicated?-Did you secretly think, yeah, that
wouldn't have happened if you had picked me?
I was a little shocked that it happened so quickly. It just seemed
strange to me. One minute Tila is in love and the next, she
has another show already. Whoa. I know I said earlier to
move on if someone doesn't like you, but geez, that's fast,
Tila! Sorry, Bobby.
There have been a lot of debates over this. Why do you
think Tlla picked Bobby?
Bobby was a really sweet guy. There was this childish innocence
to everything that was new to him, and that happened
to be a lot. Like sushi, for example; he hadn't eaten sushi
ever before this show. I eat sushi every day so I guess that's
why that sounds absurd to me, but Tila found things like
that endearing. Whatever. It seems she enjoyed the fact that
Bobby was this big kid that she could show the world to. I
guess he's like that for a reason though, because look what
happened when it came time to deal with her "crazy"lifestyle.
Poor Bobby ate all that bull cock and balls for nothing.
There was a lot of debate off-screen about how real
the show was, which happens with all of these dating
shows. How real was it to you? Was It an act for you or
were you living your emotions the way that they seem
on the screen?
When I got there you can see how I've changed, as a viewer. You
know at the beginning I wasn't trying to be all out there,
making myself look crazy, trying to get attention. It wasn't
there for me in the beginning. It was like, I don't really mind,
whatever. I don't really care if you pick me. And then once
I got to know her, I started changing my ways. I moved in,
I put a kiss on her on the camping trip. I just stepped it up
a little bit because I realized I really did like her. So, it's not
scripted. Everybody thinks it is, but it's really not. More or
less, the producers are just coaching us, like, stay on track.
They know what the viewers want to see.
Were there people who you think played a little bit
differently on TV than they did in real life?
No. Everything that you saw was the way it was. I mean people
were as crazy as it looks.
What was yo~r hope going on this show? Initially, what
were you thinking?
Initially, I was thinking, 'i\.ll right, I'm just going to go there
and have a great time;' like it was going to be a big party.
You know, I'm living in a house with a bunch of women, so
whoo~hoo. And then it ended up being more than that. I
y
tied'
djob,
said
ttled:
le:'--,
April 2008
I35
actually liked the girl.
Tell me about being Inside the house, was there more
camaraderie or conflict between you and the other contestants. What was the environment like for you girls?
When we first got there, we were all discussing, "OK will we all
get bunks, how will we sleept and we are thinking we would
get our own bed, or maybe even two to a bed. And then we
get up there and we see this huge bed and we are like, "Oh,
my God:' So that was an obstacle. It wasn't bad for me, I
mean I don't care that much. To be in a bed with all those
people, that didn't bother me. I kind of paired up with the
girls. The girls would kind of sleep together to keep the guys
away from us. We all shared bathrooms and showers, but we
all got along fairly well, considering.
That's interesting, because viewers see scenarios on the
screen, like Ashley having a tantrum after he got sent
packing, and we wonder how much of that happened off
screen as well.
Yeah, these were the high moments, the height of all the drama.
That makes good TV. But for the most part we all really got
along. We were just there and drinking and having a blast in
the pool. The only thing-the Brandi and Vanessa thingthey were always bickering away. That was just a continuous
animosity between those two.
Now that you're famous, do you still have time to date?
Do you have a new girlfriend? Or a girl in every port?
My schedule is super crazy these days, from the fire station, my
36
I curve
clothing line, Futch Apparel, my tubby dog Titan, my house,
my family, my friends, my appearances all around the country, my college tours, interviews, but after all that, believe it
or not, I still have time to date. Not a girl in every port, but
one at home.
How are you going to parlay your 15 minutes of fame?
What are you doing with this experience?
I am trying to become more involved in community efforts,
through HRC and our fight for equality and rights. It seems
like I have a huge 11- to 18-year-old following and they just
have a lot of questions. So if I could do some mentoring, that
would be great-just to talk to kids and help them with all of
their troubles and coming out. And also, educating our community that we need to vote more and we need to become
more involved politically to get the rights that we deserve, that
we should have been born with. I don't need the fame to be
involved in something like that, that's just something I'll be
doing now. But also, I'm launching a new clothing line, Futch
Apparel (myspace.com/ 12nerd], and this is always something
I've wanted to do because I have such a horrible time finding
clothes. So, I'm trying to make my own clothing line with a
whole completely new set of sizes, like for people in between,
not femme, not butch, but"futch:' And I don't want to corner
myself just marketing to women either. It's for women and
men-it's a different size, a more unisex size.
Are you In the beginning stages with that?
Embryonic. It's just getting off the ground. I trademarked it, so I
own it. It has an LLC. We just need to get the clothing out
there now. We're in the process of interviewing designers
and stuff like that.
I think there's definitely a market there for that too.
Oh, yeah. The New York Post did a full-page article on me.
People are liking this idea, and I just need to run with it
quick and make sure that it happens.
Have you always wanted to move into activism, the
way you've wanted to move into fashion? Is that something that you always saw yourself doing before this
experience?
Yeah. I've always loved children, they actually look up to me
like a role model. That puts me in a good position to influence them, you know? So they'll be more apt to listening
to what I'm trying to say because I'm Dani from the TV
show. It's crazy. It's great, it's a great tool since I'm trying to
push something.
So many viewers were compelled by the boys vs. girls
nature of Shot at Love. Do you think your fan base
broke down the same way?
I think that concept was an awesome idea. It's about time
mainstream TV joined the rest of the world. My fan base
is super broad, so I'm not sure how to answer that one. I
think everyone enjoyed the show and that's what matters.
A lot of lesbian viewers regarded all the femme girls as
"possibly bi" and you as a "real lesbian." Was that fair?
Of course it's fair. I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to
do what makes me comfortable. For example, I have short
hair, I dress in men's clothes, I'm in good physical shape.
To some, these attributes are what makes me"look" gay.To
me, it's what makes me happy. Lesbians can see this and
they just assume I'm the real deal. I understand that, but
my goal isn't to be masculine. It's just that I know what I
like. I love purses and pumps, but I would just look ridiculous in these things. As for the other girls, people make
the assumption that if you look girly, you must like guys.
Wrong!
It seems like lesbians, in general, often have some
very strong feelings about dating bisexual women.
I think Shot at Love offered a forum for us to have
conversations about that. I know how it was presented
to the United States like "I'm bisexual and I'm going
to decide if I am going to be with a man or a woman."
But, what did you experience on the other side of that?
Just because a woman like guys and girls doesn't make me any
more or less sure about the relationship. If somebody is
going co leave me, they obviously don't love me, whether it
is for a boy or a girl. So, I don't really see it as a problem,
I mean, bisexual people, more power to chem. They like
both sexes. They have a bigger (selection of potential partners). If anybody's missing out, it's me. But you know, I've
dated bisexual women, and there's no difference. They just
like boys and girls. Whoop-di-doo.
Lesbians were clearly rooting for you from the beginning. There was a little inference that you were the
"real" lesbian. We heard that a lot here at the office.
I think the lesbian population-it
seems to me after going
through my email and talking to people-were excited to
see somebody that, yeah, there's no (mistaking] that I'm a
lesbian. I was on the show and that's groundbreaking because I'm.not your typical stripper lesbian femme, but I also
proved myself to be well-spoken and intelligent. I have a career, I was a role model-that's what a lot of kids are calling
me, a role model, crazy-but I was a positive image for a
minority that struggles to be called equal, be treated equal.
Did the other women on the show mostly identify as
lesbian?
Well, they all said they were lesbians, but we saw clearly that
some of them were very flirtatious with the boys or actually
hooked up with them in the bed. You wonder how much of
it was sincere. But, I think people can tell that I'm not swinging
both ways.
Did you know you have an entry on Yahoo Answers? The
question is, "What type of butch would you call Dani
from Shot at Love?"
I did not. What does that mean? Type? My blood type?
Hal Do you think you were able to offer Tila something
that helped her in her coming-out process?
Maybe I've dealt with more situations, being a gay female. You
know how to deal with things. You are an outcast-well, not
an outcast anymore, but a minority. Different situations
come about with minorities and you deal with them, hopefully in a positive way. So I think I would have had that to
are mobbing you everywhere you go. Are you just the
total mack daddy or what?
I guess I sort of feel like a mack, but I don't act like that. I really
appreciate all the love my fans show me. I don't want it to go
to my head and start acting like some big shot. That's not very
attractive. I get attention anywhere I go and it's not just the gay
parties. I probably have just as many straight women fans as I
do gay. It's awesome to think I broke some silly stereotypes in
a way. The biggest thing for me is seeing people liking me for
just being me. Gay, straight, male, female, it doesn't matter. It
makes me happy to think that society is letting go of some of
its prejudices and that I might have had something to do with
that. Don't we all want to make the world a better place?
A Shot at Love was groundbreaking because it was
the first bisexual reality show. Do you think it educated
Americans about bisexuality or did it perpetuate
stereotypes?
I definitely think the show opened people's minds a bit. The
world isn't ready to love people for just who they are versus
what they are, but it portrayed the reality of the simple fact
that no matter what your sexual preference may be, people
are still people. I'm just wondering when people are going to
stop trying to tell others who they should like. I'll decide for
mysel£ thank you.
Did you see what Margaret Cho said about you in The
Advocate? She said she'd hire a prostitute but they
didn't come in her type. She asked if it was possible to
"My goal isn't to be masculine ... ! love purses and
pumps, but I would just look ridiculous in these things.
As for the other girls, people make the assumption.
that if you look girly, you must like guys. Wrong!"
offer her. Kind of like wisdom.
Obviously, lesbians love a girl in uniform. Now that
you've been on the show, are you being hit on constantly?
Um, yeah, you know what, it's coming from all directions. I get
a lot of straight women sending me emails saying, 'Tm a
married woman but I would definitely go gay for you:• Go
gay! [laughs]A lot of flattering emails-it's crazy how many
straight women are hitting on me now.
Is that different from before?
No. I have a lot of straight friends, and we hang out in a lot of
straight places, so I meet straight women, and you know, I've
dated them. There's definitely a lot more hitting on me now,
since they recognize me, and I don't have to work to charm
them. I've already done that on TV. [Laughs]So the charming part's over, and now it's just like, "Hey:'
So you're practically a rock star now. You've got 140,000
friends on MySpace, you're at every lesbian party, girls
get one that looks like you.
Ah ha! She's funny. I've heard she's said a few things about me,
all very nice of course, but I hadn't heard that one yet. She's
coming to my area soon, so my manager is trying to set up a
dinner before her show. Imagine that, a true talented professional wanting to meet me. Awesome.
I was sorry to hear about your Grandma Pat dying recently. How strange is it to have her last year immortalized on TV getting a lap dance from a bisexual pinup girl?
Thank you. Grandma had the best last months of her life after
the show. Well, not physically,but emotionally. All she would
talk about was the show and how she couldn't believe that so
many people liked her. She received almost 1,000 letters from
fans wishing her well. Anyone that would visit her in the hospital was sure to read at least one hour's worth of cards and
such. We would decorate the walls of her room with them.
She cried with joy when she would talk about some of her
April 2008
I39
Brandi Ryan, who left the show in a firestorm of emotions, may have a second chance at reality TV. The
23-year-old from Costa Mesa, Calif., has proposed a
new show to MTV that centers around helping teenagers deal with some of the issues Ryan herself has
dealt with-abuse,
foster care, the court system and
coming out.
"I really want to help them believe in themselves,"
says Ryan. Since Shot at Love ended, Ryan says she
has received 40,000 emails from fans, most of whom
ask her advice on dealing_ with their problems.
In terms of dealing with her own problems, she
admits she's still learning. Ryan may be remembered
best for her emotional exit and unsuccessful return.
She says that she handled the situation incorrectly
by "running away from a problem instead of explaining it."
She adds that If she could have really told Tila
Tequila her feelings, she would have had a real shot
at love. For now, though, she's choosing to remain
single and refocus her attention on raising her
brother, who she began fostering five years ago.
If MTV were actually a university, and Shot at Love
a class, Amanda Iverson would be the funny girl in the
40
Icurve
back of the room who is everybody's best friend. A tall
blonde, Iverson like to roll her eyes at the trivial fights
between contestants, but she's beloved not for her
outlandish behavior, but because she was consistently herself.
"I was real throughout the whole thing," says
Iverson. One of-the three final contestants, she attributes her longevity to her humor and age. At 28,
Iverson was one of the oldest competitors. "A lot of
the younger girls don't really know who they are,"
she says, "I do." Plus, she
adds, "Tila really appreciated my sense of humor."
While Iverson admits
that there was no real
sexual chemistry between
Tequila and her, she says
the show was important
because "it was historical
and raised awareness and
helped gain acceptance
for the queer community."
Iverson, a high femme
from Southern California, is a self-proclaimed
"serious member of the
gay community." By serious she means she came out at 15, dated all types
of women and was even married to a woman. She
says her controversial quote at the beginning of the
show about butch women being unappealing was a
misrepresentation of what she said. "They cut out the
beginning of the quote. When I heard the edited version, my stomach just dropped."
As for her life after Tila ... she says she's reentering the dating scene. "If somebody amazing falls into
my life, then I'll go for it. Until then, I'm accumulating
a group of dykes to tattoo my name on their body."
Amanda begins a standup comedy tour in February.
Vanessa Romanelli is the girl most likely to kick
your ass. The self-proclaimed "wild, crazy bitch from
the show" has proven her ability to tumble with the
best of them (from boys to Brandi).
Kicked off in a flurry of fist-swinging and hair-pulling, Romanelli has made numerous club appearances
where she runs a spin-off stage version of the Tila
Tequila show-A Shot at Love with Vanessa. In these
performances, Vanessa invites a group of men and
women up onto the show to, as she puts it, "berate
them." And they seem to be lining up for the abuse.
"They love it," she says, "people really want to do
this."
Romanelli says the real chemistry she experienced
was with her seeming nemesis, Brandi. "We had a
real love/hate relationship," says Romanelli. As for
dating? The 24-year-old New Yorker says she's single
and "partying it up." - Kristin A. Smith
fans. It really made her last days happier. Thank
you to everyone out there who wrote to her. It
was difficult watching someone you love, and
who has always been there, die. I struggled with
it for a while, but I am trying to move forward
and remember the good times I had with her.
Just talking about it makes me cry still. I will
always love and miss her.
Your initial foray into reality TV was really on
a whim. How surprised are you with where
it's led you today?
I seriously wasn't even going to try out for the
show. My friend bamboozled me into doing
it. I never for one second expected to be called
back, let alone make it to runner-up. When we
were filming the show I tried to picture what
my life would be like after the show. Wow, was
I way off.
Now you get recognized constantly. Ever
miss your old quieter life?
At first it was cool. Something new and exciting.
Just recently I think I almost had a nervous
breakdown with all that I was trying to juggle.
I'm learning to pace myself and get my priorities straight. It's tougher than it looks. I don't
know how the "real" stars do it. I have a newfound respect for this lifestyle. The only thing
I really miss is hanging with my family and
friends as much as I used to be able to.
The great thing about Shot at Love was
seeing real queer women on screen. How
hungry do you think queer teens are for that
kind of imagery?
I think the show gave people, not just young
ones, the courage to own up to who they are.
So many people have come up to me and said
"Thank you for giving me the strength to come
out to my family and friends:' Wow. Who
knew the effect I would haver
Are you hearing from a lot of kids?
A ton! My youngest fan that I know of is 5 and
my oldest is 60-and they're both straight.
Well, as far as I know. That's crazy awesome!
One of my co-workers asked if I would stop by
his daughter's soccer game and sign a few autographs for some of the girls on the team. When
I got there, the girls went crazy. I felt a little
weird because the parents were sitting up in
the bleachers and I was thinking," Oh man, I'm
gonna get the eye from them, I know it!" Would
you believe it? When I was done with the girls
and started walking back past the parents, they
started walking down and thanking me for being such a positive role model. That's one of my
favorite stories.
That's great. Let's segue a bit. Tell me about
the first time you fell in love.
I think I was about 17. I had dated girls and guys
before, but this was the one. I knew it all at that
age-yeah right. She blasted my heart out of
my chest in less than a year and a half It was
the worst feeling ever. She cheated on me with
a so-called friend. It took me a good five years
before I could ever truly love someone again. I
had built up huge walls around my heart because I didn't want to feel that way again. That
was a long time ago, though. I still remember
the day I finally didn't love her anymore. What
a relie£ We see each other now and it's like
whatever. It's like those old pictures where you
have some weird-ass hairstyle and you wonder
what the hell you were ever thinking.
Are you a gold star lesbian?
Maybe. Not quite sure what that is.
You'll have to Google it. OK, one of the
scenes that I liked from the show is when
they went to the firehouse and Tila met
your co-workers and the big burly guys ask
her, "What do you offer Dani?" That was so
sweet.
Yeah, it shows their sensitivity, and it shows how
close we are, and that's what it is. Those guys at
the firehouse-and the girls-we're all really
close and we care about each other.
And are you back at the firehouse now?
Yeah, I'm still working.
As a female firefighter, do you feel like you
have to prove yourself on the job?
When I went to fire school I felt that way, but not
so much when I got hired. I like to think my
work ethic is pretty good. If something needs
to be done, I don't like to bitch and moan about
it. Just get it done. Some of the guys will complain about being tired or whatever, but I don't.
Not because I feel I need to prove myself; I'm
just a hard worker.
My fire school was Florida State Fire College and
it is regarded as one of the toughest schools to
attend. I guess I picked that one to prove to
people if I'm gonna do this I want nothing but
the best training. I graduated [as] class president
and received two awards for most outstanding
performance-that means the physical stuffand highest academic scores. Is that enough
proving?
What did the other firefighters think about
the show?
They loved it. I would get bombarded with questions all the time. It also gave everyone a
chance to really get to understand me more. I
feel a little closer to the guys and girls I work
with now. ■
April 2008
I41
intimate with a stranger, Rijker needed to connect in a way that
was familiar to her.
"Rachel was so good with me;' says Rijker appreciatively.
"She had to open and let me lead her, so to speak. It's very
intimate to be physical with a stranger. I don't care whether they
call it acting, you don't want to violate the person because you
have your own approach:'
Of Rijker's awkward "love moments" on the L Word set, some
were nerve-wracking, some just funny.
"One time, the director says to me, 'You've gotta give it more
than that because she's making a hell of a noise: I was just totally doing my own stuff. I was like, 'Oh my God: And she just
laughed at me:'
For an athlete who's used to preparing so that she can react
on instinct, acting poses some unique challenges.
''I've never had a love scene before. You don't really talk about
it, like, when we kiss, how do I kiss you, do I hold my tongue:' I
didn't know how to handle it. Thank God I'm a physical person,
so I can always connect physically.
"But I still freaked our;' she says, laughing. "Then the director
says,'OK, now I want you to kiss longer: I was like, 'Oh God!"'
While she understands that nudity can be important to a
scene, she didn't feel comfortable baring all as a guest star.
"In my country, I'm a very respected athlete. When you're an
actor, there's nothing wrong with nudity. If I'm a regular on the
show I'd say, 'OK, you need to do what you need to do: But I
wanted to set a boundary for myself:'
Now, as she waits to hear if her role on the show will be
extended (and we wait to see if we get to see more of her), she's
sorting through the questions that her on-camera interlude has
raised.
"I like challenging myself What's this fear? What is this
shame? What's going on here:' That's what I like about acting, it
always challenges psychologically:•
While she is arguably the best female fighter in the world,
Rijker can probably make a better living as an actor. There is little
money in boxing or kickboxing for women, and female fighters
don't yet have a shot at Olympic gold.
Opporrunities have presented themselves. After the success
of Million Dollar Baby, she was offered a chance to put her sport
and her causes in the spotlight. Promoters in Las Vegas set up a
fight between Rijker and another top female fighter, but Rijker
blew out her Achilles tendon while training.
"Goals are important to bring out your fullest potential, but
the moment you become attached to them they can destroy you.
I was attached to that big fight;' she says. "The impact that I
thought I was going to have on women, because all my interviews
were about being a trailblazer and making history ... I thought I
was on top of the world. I was blowing money to have the best
team around me. Jay Leno was going to fly me to his show in a
private jet, and the moment I popped my Achilles tendon everything and everyone was gone:'
Then her mother died. Her Buddhist faith helped get her
through it, she says.
'Tm an extremist, that's why Buddhism fits me so well. I
sacrificed a lot:'
Since then she's been re-evaluating her life. She will be 40
soon and must decide whether to compete again.
"My whole life I had long-term goals, [which is] a good thing
and a bad thing. I wasn't opened to the moment because I had
tunnel vision, which helped me develop self-discipline and
endurance. On the other hand, I missed out on a lot of things.
''As an athlete, I did not go through adolescence, when you
develop who you become, you go dating, go to the disco. I was
training, I went to the gym.
"That's my time now. Hey, there's more to life. Let me see
what's out there:'
She recently got an offer to fight in Japan, but to accept would
mean "becoming a monk again;' she says.
"It's a lifestyle. You have to really let go of a lot of things, to
totally think and breathe and act like a warrior, because that's
what made me good. That's what I did to be the best:'
Since she's given up her monk-like existence, her life has
expanded to include speaking engagements and teaching all over
the world. In September, a documentary filmabout her spirirual
journey premiered at a Buddhist film festival in the Netherlands.
She's worked in Thailand and has represented an aid organization in Bangladesh.
'Tm really enjoying this second part of my life;•she says.''I'm
realizing there is so much more, and there's also a time to start to
give back and to share. It's a natural cycle, and when you follow
the narural cycle then your life goes well:'
Maybe she's not so dangerous after all. ■
44
I curve
lla, Bevy a,J B11,idezilla4
But still dreaming of a dress. By Beren deMotier
I never got to be a bridezilla. But I consider myself lucky to have
been a bride at all, even if there was nary a dress in sight.
My road to marriage was more an amazing race than a stately
journey. It was pouring rain as my spouse-to-be and I sprinted the
six blocks from the parking garage to the church, our older kids
gamely jogging along. Our toddler had fallen asleep, so I carried
him crushed against my chest, praying he'd get enough rest so he
wouldn't scream through the ceremonies as my spouse and I got
married with three other couples who were rushing into legal marriage that morning in Portland, Ore.
After we knocked, rang and then
pounded, the doors of the church
swung wide. The staff knew about the
decision to offer licenses that morn-
lection of wearable options, and only a fool would do that to
costume a kid. But once, amongst all the hideous faux brocade,
pearl beading, and too-shiny polyester satin, I saw it: a lovely bolt
of off-white sheer organza just waiting to be made into a voluminous
skirt someone could get lost in for days. Sigh.
I've had a lot of time to think about this-21 years of partnership, plus the occasional pre-spouse pondering. Given the
opportunity, I could probably rethink "the dress" 9 million times,
order one I later decide I hate, sew something I end up discard-
ing, and they were ready to whip up
weddings at a moment's notice. Two
of our fellow brides disappeared during the trip from the licensing office to
the wedding chapel (they'd stopped
for flowers). One future bride assessed
our needs and took off to the store
for sandwiches, because our preteens
would kill if they didn't get fed fast. I
held the little one tight against me to
keep him asleep, evading the friendly
woman who kept trying to pat him,
unaware that doing so might spell
disaster should he awake.
We were not exactly weddingready. We were dressed for March
weather in the Northwest: thick socks, heavy shoes, coats and
sweaters. Our daughter was wearing black sweatpants, and the
baby was wearing the same warm, grungy outfit he'd worn to bed.
The 30 seconds s ent vacillating over lipsticks was as much time as
we ad to fuss. Without six onths to fret about every detail, we
acked the time and opportunity to turn into a bevy of bridezillas.
This was prob ly a good thing.
In my 20s (anH while underemployed), I used to make little
black dresses I could otherwise not afford, snazzy trousers that
in retrospect w7fe hideous in their shiny '80s splendor, and the
occasional sh ulder bag. These days, I only sew couch covers,
curtains an costumes. But from time to time, hen I've gone to
Fabric D pot for my annual Halloween costu e-making maratho
'nosaurs, guinea pigs and vampires, oh my), I've ambled the
aisles, heaving bolts about, somehow finding myself in the bridal
Generally, the bridal section of any fa ric store is a tastefree zone. You have to go to a really spen y shop for a wide se-
46
I curve
ing, buy something off the rack that I then return and change my
mind at the last minute, going back to option one, agonizing all the
way. Our spontaneous ceremony was astoundingly agony-free. No
guest list to fuss over, no colors to debate, no menus to consider,
no matching bridesmaid disasters, no seating plans resulting in a
family feud, and no second mortgage to pay for it all.
As one bride said later, "We had all of the best parts of a wedding, with none of the worst:'
But seriously, what could be the "worst" about a white dress
and a tiara?
OK, so the wedding has come and gone, legally as well as
temporally, though the relationship remains. But my secret bridal
obsession lingers. It was with mingled desire and anxiety, and a
stifling of my self-esteem issues, that I entered a bridal shop for the
first time to try on a dress yesterday-just because.
With the first waft of scented air I realized I was out of my
depth. From the price tags on the gowns (my fave weighed in at
$1,700), to the tuxedos in the windows, to the books filled with
florists, caterers and photographers who charged more than my
annual income, it was a store full of economic intimidation. I was
brought up in a tradition that espoused plain gold bands, backyard
weddings and a cocktail dress for the bride that wasn't a one-time
waste of money.
I would have fled out the door fast if it weren't for the woman
who owned the place-who assured me that they'd dressed plenty
of same-sex brides-taking me firmly in hand and putting me
on the banquette to watch the brides-to-be in action while she
scooped up a dress or two for me to try on. Three things became
immediately obvious: 1) Choosing a dress takes four females,
minimum-one of them the maternal type. 2) Trying on wedding
dresses is a leisurely activity. You can't just pop in, point and say,
"Throw it in a box and I'll take it to go:' And 3) Strapless dresses
aren't all they're cracked up to be. If wearing one makes you look
like the figurehead on a ship, just say no.
Yet when the owner came back bearing three gowns, two of
them strapless, I tried them on meekly, like a lamb.
Three new things became obvious: 1) There is no such thing as
tying a shoelace in a wedding dress and my vision of Dr. Marten's
combat boots under silk would take two attendants to manage the
grommets. 2) Taffeta and satin weigh more than you would think
and beading is like lead. And 3) Putting a good wedding dress on
makes you feel omnipotent-not
only a princess for a day, but a
queen for life.
I'd thought, mistakenly, that the sight of 43-year-old me alongside 20-somethings would be depressing. But the mirrors lining
the walls took off 10 pounds easy,and the hairdo the owner myste-
newfound knowledge to my daughter,
in case she should decide to have a traditional wedding someday,
instead of doing a sprint across town in the pouring rain to get
hitched, just like her mothers.
riously accomplished using a rubber band and a tug made me look
like a happily ravished prom queen of mature years. Still, there
was more than a killer outfit going on; there was sisterhood in that
room, and, damn, it was powerful.
But when I tried to impart my wisdom on bridal poses and
how far ahead one must order a dress, my daughter just looked at
me as only a 12-going-on-13-year-old can, and said, "Geez, Mom,
even I knew that:' ■
As I dragged myself out of the last
dress, an asymmetrical, strapless number
with dotted Swiss, an oval train and an
infrastructure that kept me from looking like I belonged on the prow of that
ship, I felt smugly satisfied that the time
climbing into and out of dresses, with a
net over my face (to keep makeup off the
fabric), wasn't wasted. I could pass on my
In spring 2007, Oregon state legislators
procedures, determined
passed two landmark bills: the Oregon
that they were far below the
Equality Act, which would ban discrimina-
55,000 valid signatures they
Oregon (basicrights.org),
tion based on sexual orientation and gender
needed to stop the laws
a nonprofit LGBT rights
identity, and the Oregon Family Fairness
from coming into effect on
group, Oregonians turned
w
a:
Act, which would legally recognize domestic
Jan. 1, 2008.
their honeymoons into vigils
Cf)
partnership for all committed couples in
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Oregon.
For months it looked
like a victory for LGBT
February hearing.
Led by Basic Rights
and came out in massive
numbers to protest the
Oregonians, but on Dec. 3,
ruling. And their hard work
at the end. The new legislation was met with
the Alliance Defense Fund
and dedication paid off. On
But not every rainbow has a pot of gold
Feb. 1, Judge Michael Mosman ruled that
continuous opposition from out-of-state,
from Arizona filed a suit to retroactively
far-right interest groups. Restore America,
admit the disqualified signatures, arguing
Restore America had failed to get the req-
based in Tennessee, launched a petition-
that the people who had signed the petition
uisite signatures. The law went into effect,
signing campaign to force a referendum on
had a "fundamental right" to have their
giving domestic partners the recognition
both laws.
voices heard, similar to the fundamental
they deserve, and couples (like partners of
right to have their votes counted. A restrain-
22 years, Lynn Killam and Melody Johnson,
their signatures and the Oregon Elections
ing order granted last December postponed
Committee, following well-established
domestic partnerships in Oregon until a
above) flooded the courthouse. - Lauren
Marie Fleming
On Sept. 26, 2007, the groups turned in
April 2008
I47
Picking the, 1Jle.dtling La,ca&
Know your rights in your state before you say "I do." By Mea Chavez
Passed in 1996, the federal Defense of Marriage
Act defined marriage as a legal union between
one man and one woman for purposes of all federal laws, and says that states need not recognize
a marriage from another state if it is between
persons of the same sex. Over 10 years later, 40
states have passed their own DOMA laws, but
in the remaining states some rights have been
granted to same-sex couples.
Maine, California, Oregon and Washington
offer domestic partnerships that give many or all
of the same rights to same-sex couples that married heterosexuals enjoy. Similarly, Hawaii has a
reciprocal beneficiary relationship for which any
two people can register. A civil union is a legal
union of a same-sex couple, sanctioned by a civil
authority. A civil union is different from a domestic partnership because it requires a ceremony
to be considered valid. New Jersey, Vermont,
Connecticut and New Hampshire grant civil
unions to same-sex couples that extend the same
benefits and protections granted to spouses in a
marriage. But by calling it a civil union, they remind gays and lesbians they are not married like
straight couples. Massachusetts alone gives marriage licenses to all couples.
Even when these states grant same-sex couples full state rights-including rights to inheritance and adoption-they remain excluded from
federal protections like collecting on a deceased
partner's Social Security and federal tax benefits.
Don't let all those same-sex marriage bans
discourage you. Progressive states continue to
push for positive changes. Rhode Island honors
marriages performed ·in Massachusettes while
New Jersey recognizes civil unions from Vermont
and Connecticut and grants civil union status to
domestic partners from California. Meanwhile,
New Hampshire law includes provisions for recognizing civil unions performed in other states.
Weve highlighted some of the pending cases
around the country where the fight for full marriage equality continues. ■
48
I
curve
:· •••••••
As of Jan. 1, 2008, the Oregon Family Fairness
Act permits same-sex couples to register as
domestic partners, and are
granted all the privileges, im•• •►
munities, rights and benefits
given to married couples
under state law.
The 2004 San Francisco
same-sex marriage licenses
opened a new legal front.
On March 4, the California
Supreme Court hearu oral
arguments challenging the
exclusion of some samesex couples from marriage
and has also been flooded
with letters of support from
around the wor1d. The case
comes on the 60th anniversary of the historic California
ruling that allowed interracial
marriage that set a legal
precedent across the country
and is the basis for this case.
•
~
-
Last month, a
bill to legalize
civil unions was
introduced to
Hawaii's State ◄••••••
Legislature.
~
1
In August 2007, a
county trial judge
in Iowa ruled that
the state's ban on
same-sex marriage
violated the rights
and protections
of the state's constitution. The
case is pending before the Iowa
Supreme Court.
"
In 2005, Connecticut declared same-sex couples
entitled to all the benefits
and protections granted
to spouses in marriage,
but titled the relationship
a civil union. Legal challenges seeking
permission for same-sex couples to
receive marriage licenses are pending.
..
◄···:
Michigan's DOMA law
bans same-sex marriage.
The amendment prohibits
public universities, state
In January 2006, Circuit Court Judge
agencies and local governM. Brooke Murdock struck down the
ments from offering health
33-year-old Maryland state law defining
insurance to partners of
marriage as a union between a man and
gay and lesbian employa woman. This pending case could force
ees as mandated by a
recognition of same-sex marriage rights.
Michigan appeals court in
February 2007, a conflict
that's resulted in legal
◄•••••• •• ····:
challenges.
L Th.,e,e, ZIJ,e,d,
There's a great new trend by jewelry
..
designers to market to lesbian and
gay couples, even some like Udi
Behr's Love and Pride lines created
by openly queer artists themselves.
It's a boon for dykes like me who
always want to aim their buying
power in the right (er, maybe that
should be 'left') direction. So when
I went in search of the must-have
nuptial adornment I looked at every
jeweler who advertised in a national
gay publication, had publicly come
out as queer or was popular with
f
New York recognizes same-sex
marriages granted
in other states, but
doesn't issue civil
unions or marriage
licenses to its own residents. In
April 2007, New York Gov. Eliot
Spitzer proposed a bill allowing
same-sex couples to register as
domestic partners. The bill has
not yet passed.
f
Like Michigan, Ohio's
2004 constitutional
amendment banning
gay marriage caused
significant legal confusion. Lower courts cited
it for denying protection
under domestic violence
laws to unmarried
couples.
More than 9,000 samesex couples have tied
the knot in the four years
since Massachusetts'
historic decision to issue
marriage licenses to all
couples.
....................................
..
f
A state DOMA bans same-sex couples from marriage rights in Florida, even as state demographics highlight the need for marriage protections. In
December 2007, the Williams Institute at UCLA
School of Law released findings that 17 percent
of the same-sex couples living in Florida are
raising more than 17,000 children. These legally
unrecognized households have less money than
married households in Florida. Their average
income is 23 percent less than their married
counterparts.
■ LEGAL MARRIAGE
■ CIVIL UNIONS
■ DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIPS
■ PENDING
BANNED
queers. When I found my designer,
Boston's lesbian industrial artist
Kristina Pitaniello-who includes The
L Word's Rosanna Arquette and Julia
Roberts among her fans- it was pure
synchronicity. Pitaniello, though, had
a piece of advice that all lesbian ring
bearers should consider.
"I would advise that instead of
going to a store to pick out rings,
design them on your own, go to an
artist to have them made," she says.
"Even if people are not artists themselves, when a tiny outlet presents
itself, sometimes it's amazing and
beautiful what they come up with."
Though I went with a ring off-therack (using that fashion term that
means "not one of a kind"), Pitaniello
makes a good argument for how lesbians can afford to have something
designed just for them. "I love working with people on that level because
they are always unbelievably happy
with the result and happy to be creative with such a meaningful object."
-Diane Anderson-Minshall
KINA WILLIAMS (OR), KOVAL PRODUCTIONS/ISTOCK(IA), GARYMILNER/ISTOCK(NY), EAU CLAIRE PHOTOGRAPHICS/ISTOCK(MA),
COURTESYCT GENERALASSEMBLYAND THE LEAGUEOF WOMEN VOTERSOF CT EDUCATIONFUND (CT)
April 2008
I49
As executive director, Lee Swislow oversees the planning and
implementation of strategies to win equal rights for LGBT citizens. Swislow began her LGBT work as a nurse for patients with
HIV ~d further clarified her ambition in life to bring equality
and justice to her community. 'J\nytime you have the opportunity
to fight discrimination, grab it. It's the most personally satisfying
thing anyone can do;' she says. Swislow knows that she's fighting for
her o~n rights too: "If it weren't for GLAD, I wouldn't be married:'
LaraSchwartz,
LegalDirectorandChiefLegislative
Counsel,
HumanRightsCampaign
(hrc.org)
Federal laws like the Defense of Marriage Act significantly curtail
LGBT rights. Leading a team of lawyers, Lara Schwartz coordinates messages to the Hill about the impact of proposed legislation
in the LGBT community and provides information about why the
HRC does or does not support particular items.
With a resume that includes clerking for a federal judge, working for two corporate law firms and being the head legal counsel on
both battles against the Federal Marriage Amendment, Schwartz
not only fights for marriage equality, but also works toward changing tax and hate-crime laws to protect the LGBT community.
Schwartz emphasizes the need to push for full marriage equality. "Civil unions aren't marriage. They are a huge step forward
in protecting families in very concrete ways...but they're not full
equality; they're progress. People don't say,'I want to be civil unionFrom the courthouses of California to the halls of Capitol Hill,
these women and the organizations they run are litigating, lobbying and leading the fight for marriage equality.
ized when I grow up; they want to get married:'
JudiO'Kelley,
Southern
Regional
Director,
LambdaLegal
(lambdalegal.org)
KateKendell,
Executive
Director,
NationalCenterforLesbian
Rights(nclrights.org)
While directing the city of Atlanta's nondiscrimination policy
and serving as the lead plaintiff in the 2004-06 case to strike
Since its founding in 1977, the NCLR has been dedicated to
down Georgia's anti-marriage amendment, Judi O'Kelley laid the
groundwork for marriage equality in the South. In her position
LGBT family law and has helped set precedents for child custody
laws, adoption rights and same-sex-partner legal recognition.
As executive director, Kate Kendell maps out long-term strate-
with Lambda Legal, the oldest national legal organization dedi-
gies for"where (we are) now legally in terms of the status oflesbian
relationships, where we want to be, and what are the best mecha-
cated to achieving full equality for gay and lesbian people, O'Kelley
works directly with the LGBT community of the South.
"I always feel such an astonishment and awe at the courage of
nisms that we can push as a legal organization for getting there:'
Through Kendell's leadership, combined with the hard work
[LGBT] people who are living every day in states like Mississippi
and Alabama;' O'Kelley says, "especially couples who are building
and skill of her staff, the NCLR has won many landmark cases,
including the milestone case of Sharon Smith's wrongful death
their lives together, having families together, and being who they
are and making the best of the laws that have been dealt to them:'
suit on behalf of her· partner, Diane Whipple. Even under the
relatively progressive laws of California, Smith was seen legally
as a stranger, but the NCLR successfully sued for her right to be
treated as a spouse for the purposes of the suit, setting precedents
for California to legally recognize same-sex partners.
Of her work at the NCLR, Kendell says, "it has been the most
fantastic, privileged, rewarding work I could imagine:'
LeeSwislow,
Executive
Director,
GayandLesbian
Advocates
and
Defenders
(glad.org)
so Icurve
What You Can Do to Make a Difference
Each of these women emphasized the effect that being out and
proud has on the marriage equality movement. "Not enough
people tell their stories;' Kendell says. "We assume someone will
win this for us, we don't want to risk relationships or make people
feel uncomfortable by having difficult conversations:' But stu4ies
show that the extent to which people support gay rights is in direct
correlation with how many gay people they know and love."Every
friend that you share your experience with, every family member
A New England-based organization, GLAD has been at the fore-
that you talk with, is exponentially going to help make a change;'
front of marriage equality for over 25 years. The organization led the
counsels that abolished sodomy laws in every state in New England,
lobbied for current LGBT nondiscrimination laws, and won the
right to marry in Massachusetts and form civil unions in Vermont.
says Schwartz.
"If you're not in a place where you can (be out];' O'Kelley adds,
a:
"then give support in terms of letter-writing campaigns, making
donations and giving support to the people who can be:'■
cii
Lil
Cl
2
u.
u.
u.
-,
Le.Ulan 1Jlerlcling Eti'luet:te
Fun advice to get you through that special day. By Heather Gold
0
My mother is obsessed with my wedding. She is obnox-
Anything succinct. There's no pro~
ious and annoying. What do I do?
cessing in vows.
Congratulations. This means you are finally being treated like
CD)
How do we decide who to invite
everyone else.
@ I always learned that the parents of the bride pay for the
want to exclude anyone.
and who not to invite? We don't
wedding. But who pays when there are two brides?
Do invite anyone you love. Don't
Don't feel guilty. This is the only time the income disparity
between gay men and lesbians is reversed.
invite anyone you might want co make
out with.
8
(D I'm opposed to marriage
Which one is the man?
If you have to ask, neither.
E) What gift should we buy?
history.
Something expensive. In America, if you buy chem enough scuff,
Just do it where it's illegal and look at
the marriage counts.
it as a protest chat comes with a very
0
How do we deal with our interfaith marriage ceremony?
because of its misogynist legal
fun party.
Don't worry about it. You're already going to hell for being gay.
(e
0
How do we coordinate them?
How do I choose my wedding colors?
We both plan to wear dresses.
Some hetero traditions are worth leaving behind.
Lesbians can now be proud chat we finally have one situation in
0
which gay men can solve our problems.
How do I deal with family members who "don't approve
of my lifestyle"?
(e
Invite chem. I'm even inviting George W. Bush. You should too.
Then ignore what I said about not inviting anyone you'd want co'
Inclusion is the best revenge.
make out with.
0
~ How do we include our pets at our ceremony?
What shall we serve? Some of my friends are: a) vegetar-
ian, b) gluten-free, c) lactose intolerant, and d) breatharian.
Cheeseburgers. Your wedding is the perfect time to stop raking
care of everybody else's needs. Now you can dedicate your life to
What if we're polyamorous?
I don't think chat question needs a punch line answer.
GJWhich Bible quotes should I use for our wedding?
Stick with the Indigo Girls.
taking care of one single woman's needs.
~ Where do I seat my horrible relatives?
0
With your partner's horrible relatives.
What should I put in my marriage vows?
Ci,Should I pack?
For your honeymoon, yes. For
your bride? I doubt you'll gee
enough rime alone.
~ Should we videotape?
Absolutely. Ir will be better than
Prozac on any sad day.
~ Should I post our photos
and videotape online?
Yes! If we all do chis, we can con~
vert all the web traffic attracted by
the search terms "lesbian wedding"
and "lesbian kiss" to ad revenue
for the NCLR. (Truth is, if we
could withhold lesbian porn until
we got our rights, we'd have legal
marriage in a week.)
~ Don't you have any serious
advice about our wedding?
Ask for help. Enjoy the love. Be
genuine. Bur I didn't think lesbians
needed any real help with chat. ■
April 2008
I
51
mttLnig At lluJitia.l4
New Hampshire celebrates New Year's civil unions. By Tamara Le
sacrifice to realize.
'Tve seen and heard and felt the
vile, evil things gays and lesbians have
had to endure in seeking the most ba~
sic equalities;' said New Hampshire
Senate Majority Whip Martha Fuller
Clark to the crowd.
"My uncle, a philosophy profes~
sor at Harvard, was fired in 1910
for being gay. He had to leave the
country. My husband's uncle jumped
to his death in 1954 because he felt
there was no room for a gay man in
the world:'
Fuller Clark continued, "In hold~
ing public hearings on the civil unions
law, we experienced firsthand the ig~
"I am so, I am so happy ... " cried the graying, pleasantly plump
woman. She struggled to blot tears from her cheek as one hand
held a bouquet of cream~colored calla lilies, and the other, a
certificate of civil union.
norance and fear you face every day.
We need to make safe our communities for people who are gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgendered:'
Democratic Representative James Splaine, the sponsor of the
bill, said, "Civil unions are an interim step toward true equality. We
Her partner, tall and lean with soft wavy hair, led her gently will have to continue to work to maintain the law. It's likely to be~
out of the church library and down the stairs. Their children
come a divisive issue in future elections."
followed, glowing. As they entered the social hall, hundreds of
House Speaker Terie Norelli felt otherwise. "I don't fear bal~
people cheered. And then everyone danced.
lot~box retaliation. New Hampshire •
ery-l:ibertar-i
On this historic day in New Hampshire, 11 couples held civil allows people their person
·g rs:•
unions in the small church library.
Norelli, the first emocrat elected Speaker of the House in
With humble beginnings dating back to 1627, the Unitarian
s appalled to learn on her first day on the job
Universalist church, South Church of Portsmouth (site of the cele~
ian legislators had not been allowed to list their
bration above), has experienced its share of history, but this was the
partners as mily in the CongressionalDirectory.
first day of January 2008, and the state's newly enacted civil unions
The r ad to equality is not for the faint of heart.
law had been in effect for a little over 12 hours. The congregation
Mel· sa Weeks, an artist who helped plan the celebration at
gathered to celebrate the sanctimony of civil unions in a cere- ---·----e-~:'.'t:"':lrt:~u-=-r
h-sa:s, "I am always amazed when life goes in circles.
called Stand on the Side of Love.
New Hampshire is only the fourth state to
We g thered in the sam anctuary where we had gathered at the
beginning of the New Hamp ire [marriage rights] movement in
199 .
or even the threat of one.
The resulting ceremonies took mi
hours to celebrate, but took decades
tes to legalize and a few
Vl/te,,u, ULlll !lo,u m«44!f?
5%
4%
A park, backyard or house
Exotic vacation spot (Hawaii, Tahiti, Virgin Islands)
Church, chapel, synagogue or temple
Rented hall
LasVegas
Results from Curvemag.com
ings were different then. The e was a great deal of anger
beca se people were dealing with bei g hassled and assaulted.
Man people were living closeted lives. C ditional love ran ram~
pant, ' says Weeks. The Portsmouth Open Door City Coalition
was for ed to help. An ordinance prepared or the City Council
to protec the rights of the LGBT communi didn't pass, but it
opened the oor and let some light in.
The polic department was educated by
and Portsmouth received
munity. In time, peop e stepped up to tell
their stories.
52
I curve
llitcltecl
in 'llatnp1.1Ai11,e.,
"We were thrilled that two New Hampshire couples wanted to have their civil
unions at the inn at the stroke of midnight on Jan. 1, the very moment the law
went into effect," said Grace Newman, owner, innkeeper and nurturing spirit of
The Highlands Inn (highlandsinn-nh.com).
"What was truly memorable was all of our New Year's Eve guests chose
to attend the ceremony, even though none of them knew the couples having
the civil unions. The energy was absolutely electric. Everyone knew we were
"1993 seems like a long time ago;' says Weeks, "but many
small steps had to be taken and many good people carried the
light on that journey:'
The Reverend Roberta Finkelstein, who led the service on
Jan. 1, cautioned that much of the work still lies ahead.
"Being a community of faith that has long been in the fore~
front of the movement for marriage equality, hosting this event
was an affirmation of all the work we have done. But in order to
attain true marriage equality, we need to continue with education
and consciousness~raising and work with political allies to get the
legislation introduced. We must continue to allow people to tell
their stories of intimacy and discrimination. That puts a real hu~
man face on the issue:'
:::E
:::)
~
~
~
Weeks added, "I wish my partner could have seen this day.
When she died I had to circle 'single; on her death certificate. It
was a lie. Everyone who knew us knew it was a lie:'
The New Hampshire civil unions law affords the same rights,
obligations and responsibilities as marriage within the state, but
can't compensate for the lack of federal protection.
Couples who enter into civil unions are not eligible for sur~
vivor's social security or federal veterans' benefits. There are state
protections safeguarding the right to inherit without a will and
important health insurance benefits, but any federal or multistate
insurance plan may still legally discriminate against united gay
couples.
And, unlike their married heterosexual counterparts, gay
couples in New Hampshire must pay taxes on most of the value
of higher~end health insurance plans.
Whether you are a resident or not, New Hampshire has no
waiting period for civil unions. There is no waiting period for
divorce either, if both parties are residents. The state of New
Hampshire expects upwards of 4,000 couples to attain civil
unions this year.
Governor John Lynch's office released statements praising the
state's long history of outlawing any form of discrimination and
rotecting the sanctity of families. But no bills are pending in
the New Hampshire State Legislature legalizing marriage for
gay couples.
You never know what might be cooking in Portsmouth,
though.
As Finkelstein reflected on the events of the day, she mused,
"What surprised me was the way the idea of Standing on the
Side of Love took off. When I put out feelers about wanting to 'do
something' onJan.1, many people from the congregation indicat~
ed that they were interested in working with me. And the event
evolved into this wonderful combination of worship, fellowship
and celebration. That can only happen when lots of people are
involved and committed:' ■
witnessing history. It was one of my proudest moments in a quarter century
maintaining a haven for women."
Partners Carrie and Lucie, who didn't give their last names, talked about the
anticipation and nervousness at the inn as everyone counted down to midnight
with them.
"Everyone was so supportive. It was good to be in the care of such generous souls. We especially loved the very personal and meaningful double-ring
ceremony our JP prepared for us. It was so emotional, after 16 years together,
knowing that our relationship was finally validated and legally recognized by
the state of New Hampshire," said Carrie.
Lucie agreed. "We also felt the true meaning of 'family.' Grace even surprised
us after the ceremony with a big cake and champagne. We look forward to the
time when we can come back to the inn to celebrate our relationship becoming
recognized nationwide!"
The Highlands Inn is nestled in the ravishing White Mountain National Forest
in Bethlehem. The main building has 13 antique-filled rooms. The 200-year-old
farmhouse has five rooms, and a romantic, rustic cottage is ideal for honeymooners or a small family.
The atmosphere at the inn allows guests to easily meet and socialize with
other lesbians from all over the country, whether chatting at breakfast, joining
another couple for dinner at a local. restaurant or enjoying many other attractions. Couples who've been visiting the area for years have said that they've
met some of their best friends at the inn.
The inn maintains 15 miles of hiking-skiing trails and an indoor and outdoor spa.
There is also a grand old stone fireplace,
perfect for sparking lengthy, uninterrupted
conversations on a snowy night or just
snuggling up in front of with a glass of wine
and book from the library.
A bountiful country breakfast in the sunfilled breakfast room is recommended, as
the town of Bethlehem and the surrounding
community will keep you busy. The small
village (pop. 2,200) is safe, diverse and welcoming, with a long history of hospitality.
"We have been host to countless weddings, civil unions, commitment ceremonies and, of course, honeymoons, for women from Vermont, Massachusetts
and Quebec," said Newman. "The exciting developmevts in New Hampshire
couldn't have come at a better time than our 25th anniversary."
Since Vermont's civil unions law went into effect in 2000, over 300 couples
have stayed at the Highlands Inn while becoming civilly united nearby. Ceremonies
range in size from the very intimate Oust the couple) to much larger, lavish celebrations, and, Newman says, "We are well-prepared to help women plan their
personal and perfect event. We feel so much joy in making women's romantic
dreams come true.''
Civil union packages range from $680 to $1,010 for a three-night stay in the
deluxe queen room and can be tweaked to accommodate longer or shorter
stays. Couples must also pay a $45 license fee directly to the town clerk.
For added privacy, Newman says the sign out front always says "No
Vacancy." So if you ever drive by the Highlands Inn without reservations, ignore
it! -Tamara Le
April 2008
I
53
THE nEED roR SPEED
Estrogen-driven engines rule the racetrack. By Jennifer Corday
I love speed. Not the white, powdery kind. The vroom-vroom, racing down the
fast lane at 98 mph as I white-knuckle the wheel and pray for no po-po kind.
I thought I was badass, but 98 is nothin' compared to the 220-plus speeds
reached by professional women race car drivers today. These girls not only haul
ass, they're totally badass.
More and more women are strapping in and revving their engines, competing in NASCAR, IndyCar and the National Hot Rod Association. Perhaps
the most well-known female race car driver, or at least the most media-friendly,
is the fiery 5-foot-2-inch, 100-pound brunette Danica Patrick. She's not just
fast, she's hot. I think I'm in love. OK, she's straight and I'm not, but can't I
have a little crush? Patrick's fans are encouraged to join the Danica Maniacs
fan club, which gives special privileges to Patrick fanatics: a Pit Kit with a membership card, a bumper sticker,
a racing mag and a one-of-a-kind autographed photo of
Patrick, plus the promise of a very special, limited edition package when she wins her first Indy car race. When,
they say, not if. It could be this year.
But Patrick's not the only chick who's burning rubber.
Melanie Troxel was named Sportswoman of the Year
by Billie Jean King's Women's Sports Foundation, and
won two Top Fuel events last season. Leilani Munter,
who once worked as a driving double to lure photographers away from the actor Catherine Zeta-Jones, is making her way up the NASCAR ranks. Last June, she finished fourth in a USRA Super Late Model Series event
at Texas Motor Speedway, the highest finish by a female
driver in any race at the track. Ashley Force drives for
her father John Force's team, and will even race against
her dad in the Funny Car division. She won five NHRA
national events in her Top Alcohol dragster, and finished
Top 10 in each of her three seasons.
If you like a woman who drives a truck, check out
Erin Crocker, the only woman to compete full-time in
the NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series. This year, she
will drive a Gillett Evernham Motorsports Dodge in
both the ARCA and NASCAR Busch Series. Crocker,
who started her career in openwheel racing, is the only female
to win a World of Outlaws race.
Sounds tantalizingly rebellious.
The Venezuelan beauty
Milka Duno stars as a Russian
race car driver in the new
Warner Brothers movie Speed
Racer, coming in May 2008.
She and her CITGO racing
team finished second in the
54
I curve
Rolex 24 at Daytona, the highest podium finish for a female driver in the 45year history of the 24 Hours of Daytona. She was named "Venezuelan Auto
Racing Driver of the Year" in 2000 and has attracted the attention of fans
worldwide. "I am very competitive and I like the challenge;' says Duno about
why she got into racing. Duno travels the States to compete with her team and
stays in top-notch physical condition. "I have a lot of muscle;' says Duno. "You
have to be in really good condition because it's so demanding. Not just physically,but mentally as well:'
Clearly, women have a need for speed and are proving that when it comes
to pushing the pedal to the metal, they have the courage, reflexes and stamina
to compete with the best of the best. ■
IADIES.START
YOURERGIRES
Speed demons cut loose at this racing school. By Jodi Helmer
Looking for an activity to make your palms sweaty,
your heart pound and your breath heavy? Sign up
for racing school.
"There is nothing quite like driving around
roll bars and on-board fire extinguishers, and
Goodman designed the track with few walls or
guardrails, to accommodate beginners.
a race track;' says Brett Goodman, president and
"We have a 24-year injury-free racing record;'
he says. "On this course, if someone makes a mis-
owner of the Bridgestone Racing Academy outside
of Toronto (race200.com). "It is one of the most
take, the only injury is to their ego:'
The customizable track offers 24 different
exhilarating experiences in the world:'
configurations to ensure a challenging driving
experience for first-timers and experienced car
racers alike.
Goodman founded the Bridgestone Racing
Academy in 1992 to meet the demand for topnotch race training. Today, the school teaches ap-
Even race car driver Danica
proximately 1,500 students a year how to drive
Formula race cars.
Patrick has spent some time do-
Packages include the Thrill of a Lifetime, aimed
at beginners. The one-day program provides instruction on the ins and outs of driving a race car
before students are allowed to test their skills on
the racetrack.
Instructors drive pace cars to cue students
on taking corners, breaking and steering. On the
track, students often reach speeds of 100 mph, taking turns and straightaways like the pros.
Going just once around the track gives some
students the racing bug.
"There are no kids, no cars and no curbs on the
track;' Goodman explains. "It's just the driver and
a wide-open race track; the experience cannot be
matched:'
Students looking to develop their basic skills
can sign up for packages like Learn to Lap and
Wheel-to-Wheel Racing, multiday courses that
help refine basic driving skills.
The academy is staffed with full-time racing
professionals, and its cars and courses are topof-the-line. The cars are equipped with extra-tall
ing laps at the Bridgestone Racing
Academy.
Classes attract car lovers and
adrenaline junkies. No matter how
much time students have logged
behind the wheel of a fast car before
coming to class, nothing compares
with the
"We
Ferraris,
Formula
feeling of driving a race car.
have had people who drive
Corvettes and Vipers get out of [the
cars] in disbelief;' says Goodman. "One
[racer] even told me, 'My Corvette feels like a farm
tractor compared to this car!"'
Despite the adrenaline rush that comes with
driving a race car, fewer than 5 percent of students
at the Bridgestone Racing Academy are women.
This fact surprises Goodman.
"Motor sports seem to appeal more to men;' he
explains. "But once you put a race suit and helmet
on, it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman.
You're both race car drivers. It's so incredible to be
in the cockpit of a race car, driving it around the
track. It's a life experience that will last forever:' ■
April 2008
I
55
n REIDKIRDor GIRiGARG
San Francisco Scooter Girls are making their mark on this
scooter-crazed town. By Colleen McCaffrey
If you live in San Francisco or a European city, chances are you've thought
about getting a scooter yoursel£ And if the quick dismount, humming vibra,
tions and ease of parking aren't reasons enough to straddle a scooter, the San
Francisco Scooter Girls, sassed out and revved up, might kick,
start your inspiration. Founded in 2004 by Jennifer Martinez, San
Francisco Scooter Girls reign as the only all,girl scooter club in
the Bay Area.
A popular form of urban cruising and independence, scooter,
ing isn't just an alternative mode of transportation. Driven by eco,
nomic, environmental and lifestyle choices, scooter owners enjoy their own
subculture. The SFSG hosts rallies-four day,long parties featuring riding
extravaganzas, social outings and events. Rallies lure new members and help
build lasting friendships and community awareness. The Big Wet One-a
rally named for the infamous San Francisco rainy season-meets in January
and features an inner,city ride and a three,bridge adventure ride. After the
Big Wet One, some of the ladies gear up for the slot action at February's Sin
City rally.
Marketing and public relations officer Naomi de la Mora,Carey, 32, joined
the club the day she bought her first scooter, Pedro-a 2005 Vespa ET 4. A
San Francisco transplant, de la Mora,Carey joined the ladies in search of new
friends in an unfamiliar city. And find them she did. Her favorite part of the
group is "the people that I've met, and (having) a sense of belonging to some,
thing you feel is important:'
The SFSG boasts close to 300 online members, and around 25 Big Patch
members, an honor reserved for riders who have been with the group for
more than four months and show support to the community and service to
the club, says SFSG president Julie Gantner. Appointed to the position in
56
I curve
October 2007, Gantner says "I wanted to give back to the club that had given
me so much:' Once a motorcycle rider, Gantner has traded muscle for her
dream scooter, a 2006 Vespa LX 150 decked out in traditional black with
leopard trim, which she calls Raven. It is her main form of transportation
despite the fact that she owns a car.
The trend of trading four wheels for two seems to be as omnipresent as
a hangover after tequila. De la Mora,Carey uses Pedro for most of her daily
driving, although she regularly gives Pedro a rest for a quick ride on Olive, her
vintage 1967 Vespa Super. De la Mora,Carey says her scootering"started out
as a practical way to get around the city, but turned into something I really,
really like doing:' In her dreams she's packing her bags, strapping up Pedro and
heading out for cross,country scooter shenanigans.
Not sure if you're a good enough driver, or worried that your scooter pales
next to the other gor,
geous bikes out there?
Fret not. 'i\ny girl, any
scooter" is the motto
SFSG lives by. On the
debate over vintage
versus modern scoot,
ers, Gantner enlight,
ens us: "People should
ride what they want to
ride and shouldn't be
hassled for that choice:'
De la Mora,Carey tells
us SFSG is here "to
provide a more open
group, so women wouldn't feel intimidated and scared riding, coming to
events and asking questions:•
SFSG may be a scooter group, but they're close allies of both the SF
Motorcyle Club and a Pride favorite, Dykes on Bikes. "We are honored that
for the last three Pride parades we have been riding with Dykes on Bikes, as a
club under our own banner;' says Gantner, who can't stress enough her pride
in the active, friendly and fun group.
SFSG meets Thursday evenings to talk shop about scooter safety and
maintenance and to share riding tips. The enthusiasm of the ladies of SFSG
is so contagious even the rain seems like something I'd be happy to feel splat,
tering on my face, as long as a 150 cc was purring between my legs. Even if you·
don't join, look out for these ladies hovering at stoplights, zipping past your
Muni bus window and crossing the Golden Gate Bridge en route to another
rally, with their wrists at full throttle and their leopard,print paraphernalia
blazing in the wind.
If you're scooter,less, try living vicariously: hang up the 2008 SFSG cal,
endar, which showcases these pothole,, cabby, and pedestrian,dodging babes
posing with their favorite scooters. ■
i::
er
c3
a..
:3
:i:
a..
ISYOUR CAR GAY?
Nobody likes a stereotype, but sometimes we admit, they ring a little true. No more so than
when it comes to our habits and buying decisions. Why? Lesbians vote with our pocketbooks, and in the past 20 years we've culturally agreed upon a handful of vehicles that really
speak to us. Sure, we know that 23 percent of us own trucks and another 42 percent own
SUV s*, but what other cars have been deemed gay by our friends? See if you can find your
own in this handy little list.
I ANYVOLVO
Besides the fact that I own one, I notice that lesbians crave reliability
and safety, which is the hallmark of a Volvo. I may get teased that buying a Volvo definitely proves I'm getting older (so not true, I'm going to
a party right after I finish writing this), but more and more the Volvo
driver in the next lane offers a Sapphic smile staring back at me.
THE SUBARU OUTBACK
Uh, duh. The "Lesbaru" has pretty much cornered the
market in lesbian love. I am never shocked when
I see two women, dogs in tow, clambering out
of their Outback. In fact, I expect it. Thanks
to a decade of dyke support, the Outback is
pretty darn predictably lesbian.
The truck is the handywoman's best friend, and as a lesbian
truck owner you'll be frequently asked to help move stuff every time one of your friends breaks up (hence the moniker, "dramamobile" that gets applied to trucks and SUV s). Ford, Chevy,
Toyota, it doesn't matter the brand, trucks have been reliable
companions to dykes throughout the ages. Note: They usually
comes with a rainbow sticker affixed to the back window.
A BRAND SPANKIN' NEW HYBRID
The hybrid is the new black. Er, I mean green. They get a lot of
lip-service love from us, though I haven't spotted many lesbians
driving them. But all I hear these days is "I want to get a hybrid;'
so it's only a matter of time.
S THE CITY BUS OR SUBWAY
Philosopher Homer Simpson once said, "Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians:'
He wasn't completely correct, but he certainly has a clue of what you usually find if you ride
public transportation. Whether it
is our commitment to the environment or our lack of committment
to car payments, you will usually find at least one lesbian on the
subway, bus or train. - Colleen
M.Lee
*According to the 2008 Lesbian
Consumer Index from Community
Marketing/Witek Combs.
April 2008
I 57
110111
TO BUYA RIOTORCYCIE
Tips to finding that perfect fit. By Jennifer Corday
sporty crotch rockets. Both have something to offer and vary greatly in price,
style and performance.
According to Long Beach, Cali£, lesbian T-Dawg, Harley-Davidson is the
only way to go. "Harleys are just cool. They're a legend. The American dream,
baby:' Harleys range from $7,000 to $40,000 and up. T-Dawg has got a Soft
Tail Deluxe 1440 cc, which apparently has got some balls. "It's nice to have a
little more power on the freeway, plus it's a bigger bike. You can probably do
120 or 130, but it's not about the speed-it's about cruising and looking cool.
You'll never find an identical bike ever;' she explains, "because the minute you
buy a Harley you change stuff. It's a very artsy kind of thing, a creative piece of
work, to customize your bike and make it your own. I added more chromenew handle bars and silver braided cables:'
The upgrades cost anywhere from 800
bucks to a couple thousand. "Especially on
Harleys;' T-Dawg explains, "people tweak
their engines and do all kinds of crazy shit. I
haven't tweaked my engine, but I'm gonna get
louder pipes. The louder the pipes, the more
the juices get flowing-I love 'em:' There are
clearly two camps in the loud pipes debate,
and the Harley girls definitely like to let them
roar. "It's a turn-on, number one;' T-Dawg
says, "and number two, it's a safety issue: The
If you're ready to rumble, be ready to do some research on the best bike for you.
I interviewed several dykes on bikes (and femmes with pipes) and found some
very different strategies in the search for the right hog. Whether it's a Harley, a
Beemer or a Kawasaki "crotch rocket;' I have a few tips from some real lesbian
bikers on the best way to find the perfect fit.
According to the Seattle Times, "Women account for at least 10 percent
of motorcyclists in the U.S. today, and they're the fastest-growing segment in
the graying $9.7 billion motorcycle industry:' About 15 percent of Kawasaki's
motorcycle sales are to women, the largest percentage in the industry; HarleyDavidson is second, with 12 percent of its sales going to women. And the
Richmond Times notes that women are getting plenty of encouragement from
manufacturers as the "fastest-growing segment of motorcycle buyers:' But
before you hit the dealers, do some research on what kind of motorcycle is
right for you. There are off-road and motocross bikes as well as big touring
bikes, but the most popular street bikes are the standard cruisers and the more
58
louder your pipes, the more others will hear
you on the road:'
Orange County-based Susan Arroyo
disagrees. "You can have the loudest pipes in
the world, but they might not hear you over
their radio. I wanted a smoother quieter ride:'
After visiting several Harley and Honda
dealerships, Arroyo discovered BMW and
was impressed with everything the Germans
had to offer. ''The bike came with full integral ABS brakes to help prevent
the front wheel from locking and tossing me off the bike during a hard stop:'
Antilock braking systems come as standard equipment on the BMW. "It was
optional on other brands, and some bikes didn't have ABS at all;' Arroyo notes.
Safety is a big factor in my book, so I am impressed with the Beemer thus far.
But Arroyo isn't done. 'i\nd, for my girly side-it has heated hand grips with
two levels, and a passenger seat that folds upright into a back rest for the rider.
The motorcycle's body style is unique in and of itsel£ like no other, and stands
out in the crowd. It was a done deal;' she concludes, with "safety,looks and all
at just under $16,200 out the door, which included a chrome package and fog
lamps-the 2004 BMW R1200 Classic was it for me:'
Before you run off and buy a cruiser, don't forget to check out the crotch
rockets, which have plenty to offer you sporty gals. Long Beach lesbian Kristi
Carroll owns a Kawasaki Ninja 500 that she bought for $4,700. 'i\t first, I
was torn between a cruiser and a sports bike, but I decided I'm not really
w
a:
!
ii,
Icurve
I
a chrome person:' Even butch girls like to accessorize. "I also like the matching gear. We can wear
more safety gear and make it look cool and match
the bike. I have a very colorful padded coat, elbow
pads and a colorful helmet:' Harley riders, Carroll
tells me, tend to wear smaller helmets and not as
Fifty-year-old
Gail
ness, and they got there different ways,
much protective gear, so they're not as safe. Safety
is a huge issue for Arroyo. "When you're ready to
Bowen left the force nearly a decade ago to
whether they knew somebody or worked
care for her terminally ill mother. The years
away from the force left her reassessing her
their way up through the live shows, like
at amusement parks and that type of thing.
profession. Intrigued by stories of the difficulties women endure as stunt doubles-they
I can just tell you how I got there, which
Foundation, which provides rider education and
training courses throughout the country:'T-Dawg
agrees: "If you're just starting out and never rid-
often work twice as hard, wearing less padding
to maintain a feminine appearance, than their
is taking every class, learning everything I
could and meeting everybody I could in the
industry. But even then it's a very hard road
den, you should always take a motorcycle safety
male counterparts-she
decided to train as
to get into (stunt work]. I trained probably
course. I took one at the college. For a beginner,
it's good to learn how to lean and how to handle
the bike:'
a stunt person for her second career. Bowen
now works as a stunt double and at Bobby Ore
six months to a year before I even got my
first job, and it was another six months af-
Motorsports as a high-performance driving
instructor. She shares her thoughts on every-
ter that before I got the second one. It took
Carroll took a motorcycle class and met another lesbian she befriended. "We ended up shopping
for bikes together. It made it more comfortable
thing from her experience teaching soldiers on
their way to Iraq to her preference in lesbian
to go buying with someone. In the end, we both
movies. - HilaryKyle
ended up buying the same bike:' Carroll chose the
Ninja 500 because it was easier to maneuver than
What do you teach at Bobby Ore?
the larger bikes, but still large enough to feel safe
I teach stunt driving, military groups and
at high speeds. "The bigger the engine the bigger
the bike, and I didn't feel comfortable on those-I
law enforcement. We get military personnel, sometimes right before they deploy. I
love working with them, they are the most
purchase a motorcycle, I suggest taking the basic rider's course through the Motorcycle Safety
wanted the smallest one that could still go on the
freeway:' Many brands are catering to women
by offering smaller frames that are closer to the
ground and easier to handle.
Take your time to decide which one fits your
personality, your budget and your style. Arroyo
loves the freedom of riding and usually puts on
steel-toed boots above her ankle, jeans and a tank
before revving her engine. "I ride with my friends
to Cook's Corner in Trabuco Canyon, along PCH
[the Pacific Coast Highway] to soak up the sun, or
out to the Abbey in WeHo for brunch. I sometimes
hit Ortega Highway to test my nerves around the
curves, and, of course, the Long Beach and San
Diego Pride Parades. It's always an awesome ride:'
As for the girls, all three of them admit that owning a motorcycle is a real chick magnet. "It's a good
conversation starter;'.Carroll admits."They like the
gear:' Arroyo's bike has already scored. "The only
upgrade I plan to make is a passenger seat for my
new girlfriend:' ■
former
police
major
intense group to teach; they really, really
want to learn. So many of them are killed
driving, we teach them how to use a vehicle
as protection, as a weapon and for safety.
You gotta care about what you're teaching
and what they need to know, because you
know where they are going and what they
have to do.
Are you out and open about your sexuality
at work?
At first I wasn't because I wasn't sure how it
would be accepted. In the entertainment
a long time to be able to build up and be
able to even think about doing it full-time.
You've branched out into directing and
producing as well?
I guess I was disappointed with a lot of the
movies that I've seen. I kept saying, "You
know, I can write something like that:'
And then I tried it. I have some friends
who are really great writers and they really
helped me a lot. I really want to get into
making good movies for lesbians, an action
romance. I was out at a gay and lesbian
film festival and that's what I heard, that
nobody does those or writes those kinds of
movies... nothing with good stories and action where the couples happen to be women.
What would your dream project be?
To get to direct an action movie for lesbians
and hopefully get to do some of the stunts
for it as well.
What message would you want to share
with lesbian audiences in your films?
industry it's a little more common and
accepted, I guess you would say, so recently
I think the biggest thing is in most of the gay
movies that I've ever watched it's mostly all
in the last couple of years I've been very out.
It was very well-accepted and it was actually
much easier than I thought it would be.
Do you have any advice for women who
about a girl meeting a girl. That's a typical
gay movie-it's all about the relationship,
not just about life. I'd like to see just regular movies, whether it be action adventure,
want to try stunt work?
whatever the stories are, where their being
gay isn't the story, it's just natural. ■
I have a lot of friends that got into the busi-
April 2008
I 59
,nx1cn1conr1ss1ons
Driving a cab in the Big Apple. By Kristin A. Smith
Melissa Plaut is regularly honked at, yelled at and spit on. One time, a man exposed his penis to her at a busy intersection. Another time, someone smashed
her car window while she was in the car. And this is all just part of the job-a
job she can't imagine giving up.
Plaut, 32, is a New York City cabdriver-one of only 400 female "hacks" in
a sea of 40,000 yellow cabs. With her hipster haircut, worn-out T-shirts and
boutique jeans, she looks like she'd be more comfortable sitting in a cafe than
behind the wheel.
But Plaut is tough. "You know, you can't really be too sensitive and you
can't take things too personal;' she says. "That was part of my downfall in the
beginning:' Plaut isn't a newbie anymore; she has been driving a cab for nearly
four years now.
In her years as a cabbie, Plaut has built up an arsenal of war stories-the
guy who hailed her cab to pick up drugs in a shady-looking park, the lovers
who asked to have sex in the backseat, the man who refused to tell her where
but Plaut has stayed with the company for her entire career.
Among the other cast of characters are Paul, "the crazy Romanian dispatcher;' Ricky, who smells of urine and prophesies that Plaut will be driving
a cab for the rest of her life and Harvey /Helen, a cross-dressing driver who's
Plaut's closest ally.Plaut is the only biological woman in the company.
Plaut's gender is a common topic of conversation in her cab. People's reactions to her are as varied as the people themselves. Some question her ability
to go and then urged her not to kill any kittens.
'J\.fter a while, it's hard to distinguish between what's weird and what isn't;'
Plaut says.
Plaut's job is a revolving door of outrageous characters, possibly dangerous encounters and moments of pure humanity. All of these adventures are
chronicled in her book, HACK: How I Stopped Worrying About What to Do
With My Life and Started Driving a Yellow Cab.
The book is as much about navigating the 6,400 miles of New York City's
streets as it is about navigating her own existential journey. Plaut begins the
book as a confused young woman, floating from one mind-numbing job to
another, and ends up the hero and author of her own choose-your-ownadventure story.
to drive; others applaud her as a femiPlaut's odyssey began after a
.. THAt·s IIIHEn I IIIAS IIKE. rORGET IT ....
not
layoff from her advertising job.
nist icon. As for Plaut herself, she says,
GOlnG TO IIIRITE....
not GOlnG TO IE An
"The only real difference... is where
The unemployment benefits gave
her time to decide what to do with
we pee. I mean, in desperate times,
AD AGEnCY PERSOn....
not GOlnG TO BE A
the rest of her life, a question that
I would have happily peed on the
MAGAZlnE PERSOn. r ■ JUSTGOlnG TO IE THIS
street ... That's a lot easier for men:'
even as a child she was reluctant to
PERSOnIIIHO DOES THESEADYEnTURES.••
answer.
Beyond Plaut's minority status
"I realized that I was just doing
among cab drivers being both white
whatever was available, rather than choosing my own destiny. That's when I
and a woman, she is also gay. In the book, little attention is given to Plaut's
was like, Forget it, I'm not going to write. I'm not going to be an ad agency sexuality, but little attention is given to any part of her life outside the cab.
person. I'm not going to be a magazine person. I'm just going to be this person
One critic panned Plaut's book because it lacked any development of the
who does these adventures;' says Plaut.
author's sexuality and its impact on her job."I just had to laugh at the absolute
Becoming a cab driver was first on her new adventures list. "I was scared to
hypocrisy and inanity of that;' says Plaut. "You tell me how being straight has
death, I took a great leap and enrolled myself in taxi school;' says Plaut. "It was, affected your career choice and I'll tell you how being gay has affected mine.
in a way, the most important thing I'd ever done:•
Because it's probably the same-it hasn't:'
Plaut received her hack license on her 29th birthday, joined a family-run
Most of the reviews of HACK have been positive, and the success of the
fleet in Long Island City and began her 12-hour shifts immediately. Lenny, book has taken Plaut away from her cab. But she vows to always keep her hack
reportedly the real-life inspiration for Taxi's Louie de Palma, rules the garage. license current. "I don't know if I can ever totally leave it;' she says."I think I'd
He is a small, gruff man who is prone to door slamming and explosive outmiss that kind of contact with the city. I feel a certain intimacy with New York.
bursts. Lenny's temper has caused many drivers to leave for kinder companies,
That's something that I will never stop craving:' ■
60 Icurve
DRIYIAGWITHOUT
OWAIAG
Get around in green style. By Victoria A. Brownworth
There are cities where owning a car simply does not make sense: New York
City, Washington, D.C., and San Francisco immediately come to mind. To
such questions as, where do you put the car? Where do you park it? Do you
really need to own one? And, what about the insurance?-sometimes
an
answer comes along that is just so great, you wonder what took it so long.
France has the right idea. In January, Bertrand Delanoe, the mayor of
Paris, came up with the idea of providing 2,000 electric cars that could just be
borrowed, without a previous rental arrangement. Called Voiturlib, the program offers cars for the non-polluters for only a few euros per hour, depending
on mileage. Delanoe debuted a similar plan with electric bicycles in July 2007.
We haven't reached that level of sophistication yet, but we do have Zipcar
(it merged with Flexcar in late 2007) and a host of smaller agencies, like
PhillyCarShare (phillycarshare.com) where I live.
Zipcar was created in 1999 for the express purpose of making all kinds
of vehicles available for a fee, for any length of time-a few hours or a whole
weekend-in cities across the country (zipcar.com). Need to get groceries for
the week and the bicyclejust can't handle the load? Rent a Zipcar.
Flexcar began in university and college towns and spread out from there.
And Flexcar catered to businesses as well, managing to cut into the more
established rental car business. Flexcar emphasized its green message: Fewer
cars means a better environment. It used only fuel-efficient vehicles and
offered its own green membership.
Zipcar and the smaller independent agencies like them work pretty
much like Nedlix or your local video
store. Unlike regular car rental agencies such as Hertz, Avis or Enterprise,
Zipcar has a time-sensitive philosophy: Why rent for a full day if you
don't have to? Plus, Zipcar focuses on
accessibility: Unlike the larger rental
car places that are generally at airports
or in the business district of major
cities, Zipcar outlets are, to quote its
mission statement, "in most neighborhoods, as plentiful as ATMs:'
The principle is uniquely uncomplicated. Any licensed driver can sign
up to get a car anytime, and almost
anywhere. The cars are available in cities all over the country, the fees payable
either by monthly subscription or per
use. You are issued a key card, which
you can then use on any Zipcar. And
you don't have to return the car to the
same place. Youjust have to return it to
a Zipcar outlet.
Wow. How great is that?
There are few dissatisfied Zipcar users out there because, well, the system
is practically perfect. The setup is streamlined for user-friendliness. You fill
out the application online. You book your vehicle online with a schedule that
shows you maps, cars, their availability in time by vehicle, the costs and so
forth. Most users can pick up their car within a half hour of booking it. A far
cry from the hours-long wait at most rental agencies.
Sometimes you need a car for an emergency. Not a go-to-the-hospital
emergency, but to pick up a friend at the airport or to run essential errands
that your girlfriend, who has the car, was supposed to run but can't because
she's working late. You need a car right away, but yo!-1don't need it for long.
Even though my best friend has her own car, a subcompact, she belongs to
PhillyCarShare because she wants to be able to go to Ikea and buy furniture.
It's a two-hour rental versus a full day at U-Haul. What a money saver!
But there are other reasons to have a Zipcar membership. Like being
able to go out with friends to a venue where you just don't want to take the
subway, and a bus or a taxi is out of the question. Or sometimes you want to
try a different car from the one you own, but a test drive off the lot doesn't
really tell you much. Zipcar, PhillyCarShare and other similar agencies have
a range of cars, from Mini Coopers (so cute), to Toyota Prius hybrids (one
way to test the hybrid technology), to small trucks and minivans. Spending
a few hours or a day in a different car will give you a
better feel for it.
So far, the only downside to Zipcar and the smaller agencies is that they aren't everywhere. They are
still clustered in California, Arizona and Vancouver,
on the West Coast and in the Northeast and the
coastal Southeast. Minneapolis (always hip and
happening) has Zipcar, as does Chicago. There's also
an outlet in Toronto. New outlets are being added all
the time, however, so if there isn't one near you, there
will probably be one soon.
The rates for rentals vary from city to city and
there is always a one-time, $25 registration fee. But
the rental fee covers gas, insurance and maintenance.
There is never more than the flat fee, whereas with
other car rentals you must rent for the entire day
and pay for insurance, gas and mileage. The Zipcar
plan costs from $9 an hour to $69 a day, depending
on whether you are a casual user or pay the monthly
rental fee of $50 for frequent rentals. The website
explores what your needs for a car might be, and how
the service can best provide for you.
Talk about user-friendly.
The side benefit to the car-share plans is that they
build community, as sharing always does. And it's
affordable, too. ■,
April 2008
I61
GET YOUR IIOTOR RUnn1nG
One lost, lonely night on a motorcycle in China. By Carla King
Our wheels scatter a blanket of golden aspen leaves across the road as we crest
hot water. We would have brought sleeping bags and tents, if we'd known we
the mountain pass and see a long stretch of the Great Wall of China. It's lit by
were going to pass through such wilderness.
Teresa moves to the front. She's fluent in Mandarin and can read the signs
a cold, stark sunlight, and the big, round watchtowers loom over an endless
sea of mountains soft with autumn colors. A wild pheasant with bad timing
flies directly across my path. I brake and stiffen in readiness for a hard blow to
the helmet, but its tail feathers only brush against my visor.
that are no longer in both Chinese characters and Pinyin. Not that there's an
overabundance of road signs.
Diny rides too close, her headlight in my left mirror nearly blinds me as
we curve around a mountain. Maybe she'll back off if I slow
to a crawl and then accelerate; but no, she hangs on, probably immersed in the kind of internal dialogue that monotony
encourages. Finally, in frustration,
I wave her ahead, then
immediately regret it as she races up to tailgate Teresa. I speed
up to tailgate Diny for a minute, my headlights in her mirrors,
then drop back, hoping she'll see that she needs to create more
space, but she doesn't.
My body is stiff from sitting in the same position for so
long in the cold and from being jarred by the vibration of the
engine and the thumps in the road. I catalog each ache and
pain, each shoulda woulda coulda, and then realize that I
really must stop this before I spiral down into useless misery.
I remember the lessons of a Vipassana meditation course I
took a year ago and give it a whirl, beginning the slow, tedious
exercise of scanning the body, noting sensations from the top
of my head to the tips of my toes and back again, ignoring
itches and pains that are not in the proximity of my immediate
attention. It is not as easy as it sounds.
The results are surprising. The crown of my head is warm,
my hair is plastered against my forehead, my left ear is bent
We all ride Chinese Changjiang motorcycles with big sidecars full of gear
for our ride from Beijing through the mountains of Hebei Province to Inner
backward inside my helmet, there's a leak in my jacket zipper that's letting
in a pinhole of icy air, elbows are good, fingertips are freezing and numb, my
Mongolia. Following me is Teresa, a diplomat from Michigan I met here on
my last visit a decade ago, and Diny, a Dutchwoman who's just moved to
rear end aches, both knees are stiff, one little toe tingles, a big toe is jammed
hard against my boot. I scan, become aware, resist assigning a value to these
Beijing with her hotelier husband, who brings up the rear.
At the last town, we were told that our destination was only about 80
sensations-pleasure
or pain, it will always change-anicca.
Anicca is a Sanskrit word that means impermanence. More than that
though, it implies the state of inevitable change, so there's no use assigning
kilometers and one hour away, but that was wrong, and our maps are clearly
a value, or a judgment to a sensation or
out-of-date. We ride slowly along
a situation, because it's going to pass.
this twisty mountain backroad lined
I
CATAlOG
EACH
ACHE
AnD
PAln.
EACH
with small lakes and streams and
Somehow, sometime, it's going to pass.
SHOUlDAWOUlDACOUlDA. ARDTHEnRE·
"It'll pass when you die;' my inner
wooded groves. At dusk I long for
the miracle of a lodge where we can
stop for the night and a trailhead
where we might hike for a few hours
AUii THATI REAUYmus, STOPTHISBEfORE
I SPIRAlDown 1n,o UHlEH ffllHRY.
in the morning, enjoying the clean,
cold air and the untouched wilderness. But this is not the Colorado Rockies
or the Swiss Alps. This is China.
Darkness falls and it's a long, cold and tedious ride. We should have tried
to find a hotel in that last small town; now we're too far away to turn back.
There might only have been a luguan, with no-frills bunk beds and maybe no
62lcurve
voice taunts.
"Shut up;' I mutter, fogging my visor.
I love motorcycling because it puts
me right in the environment I am pass-
ing through, not sheltered from it. But in this kind of situation I wish for
a nice warm car with a heater and some good music. The road rises in long
sweeps through woodlands that I wish I could see instead of just sense. The
countryside we passed through earlier in the day was spectacular. We stopped
for a long time at a farmers' market, gorging ourselves on persimmons, Asian
BIODIEJEIBABES
pears, and plump purple grapes. We paused to photograph the Great Wall,
yellow and jagged against the deep blue sky, an arrangement of dry yellow
corn on a windowsill, a group of men immersed in a game of Mah Jong.
On the first long, empty, straight stretch of road we gunned our engines,
testing the horsepower of our machines, the cold autumn sun in our faces.
We raced up the first set of switchbacks, the sidecars tilting up on the right
turns, bearing down on the left. We are free and lighthearted in the daytime. At night, everything is different.
Vipassana is a meditation technique invented by the Buddha. With it,
if you're sufficiently motivated and tired of being reincarnated, you might
achieve such complete realization of the concept of anicca that you no longer experience clinging or craving or aversion, which can lead to a profound
state of acceptance and a peace that is enlightenment.
I don't expect to achieve enlightenment on this road in the dark in the
mountains of China, but it's a good practice for controlling emotions gone
awry. I'm riding, exploring, adventuring, freely roaming the world. But the
road to freedom is riddled with traps. Where does true freedom exist?
Scanning: Cold, numb, cramp, vibration, pain, warmth, stiffness.
Anicca.
A truck barrels down the road, flashing its brights, blinding me.
Anicca.
My ear is going to crack off.
Anicca.
How much farther is that damn town:'
Anicca.
An hour later, the town throws down a four-lane road
and we ride toward a cluster of brightly-lit highrises, through
a welcoming chaos of cars and stop lights and people just
walking around, as if this isn't a terrifyingly lost place but
normal and warmly familiar.
The manager of our hotel leads us to a restaurant where
we take a private room and warm our hands on cups of hot
green tea before ordering dish after dish of food and bottles
of beer and tiny cups of rice wine. Locals peek in to get a load
of this-the three disheveled, clearly crazed foreign women
who arrived on motorcycles.
I tell the story of the pheasant who nearly flew into my
head. Teresa nearly ran over a man carrying two buckets of
water on a stick across his shoulders. "I was so bored;' Diny
says. "You know, I was thinking about so many things, I was
doing my Kegels ... " We dissolve into laughter, drunk on beer,
rice wine and relief. Now we wouldn't trade our bikes for a
car, a bus, even a limousine with a driver. We raise our glasses
and toast to whatever may come tomorrow. Anicca. ■
This excerpt was adapted from Carla King's upcoming hook
Under the Radar in China. For more information visit
MotorcycleMisadventures.com.
"The only way to make a living is to work for yourself," Michelle
Swiggers heard from her father as she was growing up. At 29,
she's decided to take the plunge, but not alone. Swiggers' partner, Robin Gold, has driven a biodiesel car for more than three
years, so when they decided to put their passion for the environment and sustainability to work for themselves, they decided to
open a biodiesel filling station.
Biofuel, derived from biological elements instead of fossil fuels,
burns cleaner than oil-based fuel. Made from used vegetable oils
and animal fat, biofuel offers a sustainable alternative to gasoline
and actually runs through diesel engines with little adaptation.
Swiggers and Gold live in San Francisco, where a mobile fuel
truck is the only local biofuel source. Other Bay Area biofuel stations are located in Berkeley, Santa Cruz and San Jose, but the
couple's vision for their business, called Dogpatch Biofuels, includes a retail store stocked with sustainable products as well as
space for classes on installing biodeisel filters and making your
own biofuel.
Initially daunted by the idea of running her own business,
Swiggers drew on her years of experience working for independent messenger companies. Swiggers also studied the business
model of Biofuel Oasis, a woman-owned cooperative biodiesel
station in Berkeley, and regularly meets with the San Francisco
Biofuel Cooperative. So far, finding a lot has proved to be the most
difficult part of the process, but the couple worked with a green
realtor and finally found space that satisfied their needs.
Dogpatch Biofuels plans to purchase fuel from a plant that
produces and sells to the public instead of making it themselves
because of the high ASTM standards, ensuring a high-quality fuel
that won't damage engines.
Along with providing a
quality product· to the public, the couple wants to raise
awareness. Says Swiggers,
"We really don't want to be
the same kind of business as
the gas stations. That is why
we want to incorporate it as a
cooperative. There is a potential that big oil companies will
start to sell biodiesel and we
want to stand apart from that.
There are several ways to produce biodiesel. It can be done
in mass quantity-shipped
in
from Malaysia. This is counterproductive. We want to
promote the use of alternative
fuel produced sustainably and
locally."
These gals want a successful business, but above all, they
want to promote a sustainable
lifestyle. - Jenna V. Loceff
April 2008
I63
110111
TO CIIAnGEA rlATTIRE
Even you girly girls can do it. By Jennifer Corday
PIARI
Step1: Curse loudly. Keep driving slowly until you
can safely pull over to the side of the road where
the ground is level and firm. Never change a tire in
a dangerous place-it's better to drive on your rim
and get to a safe place than to get yourself killed.
Put your car in park, engage the parking brake,
turn on your hazard lights and get out to look at
the flat. Curse again.
Step2: Get the stuff you're gonna need: the spare
tire (let's hope you have one of these and that it has
air), the jack (thing that lifts the car), a tire iron
(crow-bar-looking thing or a shiny cross-shaped
thing), an optional pipe (also called a cheater
bar-it's for better leverage, but you don't really
need this), optional wheel chocks (this is an item
that will keep your car from rolling and is also not
entirely necessary) and gloves (these will protect
your nails).
Step3: Place the wheel chocks on both sides of the
OK, ladies, it's going to happen to you sooner or later ... pop, thwakety, thwakety, thwakety ... you're on the freeway and your tire blows. Or maybe your
bitter ex slashes your tires at the club while you're inside dancing. Either way,
you've got a flat and you're stranded. Thank the lord goddess Isis for this handy
issue of CURVE magazine with Plan A and Plan B step-by-step instructions on
what to do.
PlARA
Step1: Call AAA.
Step 2: Call one of your girlfriends and chat until she
comes.
Easy, huh? Membership in AAA is the best 60 bucks
you'll spend in a year. Along with free emergency roadside service, you'll get nifty road maps, travel trips, insurance offers, auto loans, hotel discounts and more. Use it
once in an emergency and it pays for itsel£ trust me.
But in case you don't have AAA, or are out of cell
service, here is a step-by-step guide to changing a flat
yourself.
Jessica Sarah Abbott (on the phone) is stranded in
Orange County, Calif. Dee comes to her rescue from
Riverside.
64
Icurve
tire that is diagonally opposite from the flat tire.
For example, if your rear driver-side tire is flat, secure
the front passenger-side tire. If you don't have wheel chocks, you can use a rock
or a dead body.
Step4:Take off the hubcap if you have one. (It's the shiny thing on the wheel.)
Then loosen the lug nuts (little screwy things holding the wheel on). The nuts
will be tough to loosen, so don't be afraid to bear down and use some muscle.
By adding a pipe over the end of the tire tool,
you'll get some extra leverage.Loosen the nuts,
skipping every other one, until you've worked
your way around the wheel. Loosen the nuts
only a couple of turns each. But don't take
them off just yet-you don't want the wheel
to come off before you have the jack in place.
Step5:Jack up the car. Your car manual will.
show you the proper positioning of the jack.
Stick it under there and crank it up-you'll
be surprised how easy it is to lift the car. Even
you girly girls can do it!
Step6:Now you can remove the lug nuts (put
them in a safe place) and remove the flat. Set
the flat aside. Get the spare.
IT CURYEffllG.COffl
---..
DRIVE LIKE THE WORLD IS ENDING
I'm not sure when I first knew about the link between cars and
Step 7: Put the spare tire on with the
the end of the world, but I certainly had a preview of it the first
air valve facing out and screw the lug
nuts back on, skipping every other one,
until you've gone all the way around the
wheel.
time I was on assignment in Los Angeles. It was November,
but the air looked like it does in high summer on the East
Coast-smoggy, dense, unbreathable. No one walks in L.A.,
so it had to be the cars. Millions of them.
Step8: Lower the car and tighten the lug
In the years since I fully realized that correlation, I have
done everything possible to drive like the world is ending and
nuts even tighter, using your pipe for lever~
age, and remove the jack.
like I can do just a little bit to put the brakes on that process.
I've only owned three cars in my life. The first was a tri-color Detroit junker I bought for $600 that needed an inordinate
Step 9: Replace the hubcap or center
cover, if you have one. Bang it on with
your fist.
amount of oil and transmission fluid, but which got me where
I needed to go for about two years before it finally died. Then I
drove my ex-wife's VW Rabbit for years until it finally died.
In 1994 I bought my current car, which in 1994, pre-hybrid
Step 10: Clean up your mess and don't
technology, was the EPA's most fuel-efficient car-45/39-and
forget your flat tire-you will need the
rim. You can drive off and celebrate now,
is still ranked as one of the most fuel-efficient cars ever made
by GM. Want to read more of this article from political essayist
but don't go too fast if you have a crappy
spare. Get to a tire store fairly soon to
have the flat fixed or buy a new tire. ■
Victoria A. Brownworth? Go to Curvemag.com now.
10 RIDES I WANT NOW
I'm a self-admitted car nut.
I grew up under my father's
tutelage, learning how to
take apart and reassemble
an engine for my first and
only Girl Scout badge before I had even reached
my teens. Our lawns were
always littered with cars
Smart Fortwo
he was rebuilding, from
classic Corvettes to even
more classic Model Ts, and I was always by his side lending a
lug wrench or sniffing the putty (that's another story). And so,
at an early age I mastered the art of the car show. Every weekend, it seemed, we would venture out to some car show-part
gallery, part rally, part pure car talk-to see what was new and
what was refurbished. This year, I hit the shows alone in hom-
fil
a:
i==
UJ
(!)
z
1
~
J:
(.)
~0..
0
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52
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age to my Pops and found that there are even more cars to
love now. Hence, my list of 1O new vehicles I can't help but adore, including
the Smart Fortwo, a car developed in
partnership with Mercedes and Swatch,
which sells for under $12,000. Want to
see what Diane Anderson-Minshall discovered and why she can't stop talking
about the Smart car? Well, just go to
Curvemag.com. ■
April 2008
I 65
A nEWKlnD or monSTERfflASII
Nothing is sexier than a woman who drives a monster truck. By Jennifer Corday
Twenty-eight-year-old Candice Jolly can crush Cadillacs. She can pop a skywheelie and burn one mean donut. The adorable 5-foot-3-inch brunette
makes it all look easy in her 10,000 pound, 10-foot high, black-and-white
monster truck, affectionately named "Monster Mutt Dalmatian:• As one of
only three females in the sport, Candice Jolly is a pioneer, paving the way for
women drivers, with one badass bite to her bark.
Jolly was only 8 years old when her dad took her go-kart racing, and she
was immediately hooked. "Everyone was telling my dad I should be home
playing with dolls, but he would always tell them, 'She can do anything these
boys can do!"' Jolly has been racing ever since~ and started doing Monster
Jam tours two years ago. She just completed a European tour where she
competed in Belgium, the United Kingdom and Holland. "I won a few races
last year;• says Jolly, 'J\.nd I've been in the finals every single time this year:•
Unfortunately, mechanical problems plagued the Dalmatian in the finals, and
she was stopped short twice before going all the way."We had some bad luck
with the truck. The rear steering went out in the first round, we blew a transmission up in the second one and then we finally won the last one:•
The truck was actually designed with Jolly in mind. "They wanted to do
a new spin on it, so they designed the truck as a Dalmatian, with black and
white spots, floppy ears and a tail. I attended the Monster Jam in Anaheim
and witnessed firsthand the incredible response from the fans, young and
old, when the Monster Mutt revved its engine and jumped onto the field to
the tune of "Who Let the Dogs Out:' Jolly was inspiring with huge carcrushingjumps and plenty of air on the freestyle. "I wasn't really happy with
66
Icurve
that performance;' she admits, surprisingly. "It had been raining so the course
was wet. You couldn't get any good runs from the obstacles so I just couldn't
get the air I wanted to get:' Hell, the crowd was impressed.
Jolly has an adorable spiky butch haircut and a sweet voice that you
wouldn't expect out of a driver of a steel car-crushing machine. She lives
in Naples, Fla., where she raises her '3-year-old son, 'Tm a single mom. You
could say I'm very strong and independent:' The 115-pound cutie has had to
overcome plenty of doubt from others when she first entered the sport. "It's
definitely a male-driven sport, so they look at us differently. A lot of people
first thought we didn't belong. They thought, 'What are these little Barbie
dolls doing out here?'"
To compensate for her size, Jolly's small body frame has to be in tip-top
shape to handle the driving, and she wears special harnesses to keep her
locked in. "I wear a R3 hybrid; it was made special for me. Your body takes a
beating so thank God we have harnesses. The bigger guys can drive without
one, but I have to have one:• I watched the truck roll and slam into the grou~d
repeatedly and can only imagine the trauma. "The truck takes hard side slaps
and nose dives-it will take really hard hits, you just have to be as tough as
they are:•
As a small woman in a giant male-driven sport, minority groups of all
kinds are earning respect and adoration for the fiery little trucker. Jolly realizes she may be seen as an underdog and that many fans enjoy supporting her
for this very reason. "I think people can relate;' she says. "I do just what the
boys do, but I do it in high heels and lace:•■
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All ABOARDTHECRAIYTRAIR
You don't have to be insane to drive a train. But it helps. By Sara Seinberg
Bay Area Rapid Transit opened its groundbreaking electric doors for business on Sept. 11, 1972. Sarah Cadwallader and Kelly Beardsley hadn't even
been walking very long at that time, but since then they have just about written the metaphorical book on working in the field of transportation. Before
arriving for her first day on the job as a BART train operator, Beardsley
hauled packages around town in her truck as a courier, drove a school bus full
of hyperactive kids and helmed a yellow
AAA towtruck with a halo around the
logo, performing locksmithing miracles
for scores of adoring members.
"That was a pretty good job. When
you work for AAA, everyone is happy
to see you. You're always the big hero. I
think if it paid more, I'd still have that
job; but I really spent my whole life
dreaming about a city job. It's a working-class thing. That's the way I grew up.
People around me always worked toward
a solid city job or government position,
and it still seems like the best gig for me.
I always wanted security and a pension:'
With her newly minted Amalgamated
Transit Union card, Local 1555, in hand, she's got her
dream job with BART. "I can tell you already, I'm never
leaving this gig:'
"Kelly, you've only been driving for like three weeks;'
says our lesbian tea companion Cadwalleder in her patented deadpan Brit reply. She sips her herbal tea and
fixes her baseball hat, laughing.
"I know, but I'm telling you, I'm done. I got just the
job I always wanted. Well, I did think about becoming a
Teamster and driving trucks. I like the alone time:•
Cadwallader knows all about alone time on the
BART train. She began driving the trains five years ago after her job as an airplane mechanic came to an end."I got laid off after 9/11. Before that I worked
for FedEx. I collect uniforms:' And even though she says that in jest, she found
herself a new uniform when she made her way through the three and a half
months of BART training to land in a kind of conductor onesie getup.
Aside from the deep fashion satisfaction (queers have had a documented,
long-standing love affair with uniforms), the job provides great health insurance and a free transit pass. And the job brought Cadwallader and Beardsley
together after they'd circled around the same city for over a decade.
When Beardsley first heard she'd be going into training, word hit the lesbian grapevine and common pals mentioned to Cadwallader there'd be another butch behind the control panel in the classroom-the training car, that
is. Cadwallader signed up to be an instructor, met Beardsley and taught her
how to run the rails.
"It's a big job;' Beardsley says.
"It is;' Cadwallader agrees. "You really have to know everything about the
safety of operating the cars because people's lives are in your hands. Most of
the time the cars run on automatic, but they can't do anything without us. We
pull into the stations and open the doors, and the train won't move unless
we dose them. We monitor all the systems and have three computers running: the main one, a backup and a backup of the backup. So
if anything at all is irregular, we have to know how to operate
things manually:'
Since 1972, women have been doingjust that. BART's long
history of progressive hiring practices started back before the
third rail ever had voltage running through it. On Jan. 27 of
its opening year, the San Francisco Human Rights Commission
presented the BART District Board of Directors with a commendation for its positive policy on fair employment practices.
Another part of the attraction of securing a job at such a
huge organization is that the possibility of learning different
things is built in to the profession. "I don't think about getting bored much;' Cadwallader says. "If I want a break from
being solitary, I can sign up to
do trainings and teach people
in the classes. I could get a
job in one of the yards building the trains or taking chem
apart when they go from five
car trains _in midday to 10 car
trains in rush hour. Plus, the
people who work there are diverse and interesting:'
"Yeah, I met this one woman while I was training. She's
still here and she was like the
tenth woman to be hired as a
driver in 1972. She had a bunch of great stories:'
"It's true. The job provides a good life in so many ways, people stay on for a
long time. It makes for some interesting talk in the breakrooms;' Cadwallader
says. Both drivers say they like to spend their breaks doing other things besides sitting in the lounge and watching a big television.
It's important to stay sharp on a job in the public transportation world.
Bue unlike driving a car, the attention required has a different slant. "It's
weird;' Beardsley says, "After all those years of driving buses and trucks and
everything there is to drive, all of a sudden I don't have to look both ways
anymore. You know, you're driving a train so the traffic isn't a concern. You
are looking for people, watching the controls and you get to set your watch
to military time:'
•
She and Cadwallader crack up and Cadwallader holds up her watch,
which reads 18:15. She has to get to sleep to be up at 4:40 to drive the train. ■
April 2008
I
67
Reviews Sapphic Screen
Flawsand All
The Hottie and ButchJamie find love right under their noses. I By Candace Moore
THE GREAT
GAY ESCAPE
Asreligiousfundamentalistorganizations
continueto pummel
queerAmericans
with
theirbeliefin reparative
therapy(toturnfolks
fromgayto straight),a
numberof individuals
havestartedoffering
a counterpoint.
It's a
perspective
supported
by logicandscience,
andnowthreenew
queer-themed
works.
InAbomination:
Homosexuality
and
theEx-Gay
Movement
(aglp.org),
AliciaSalzer
is anM.D.whoturns
herlensonconversion
therapies,
profiling
fourgayChristians
whounderwent
them
andthesometimes
heartbreaking
effectsof
everything
fromshock The newest Paris Hilton vehicle has something in common with
therapyandhypnosis
to Michelle Ehlen's indie Tootsiefor dykes: Both comedies skewer
gendercoaching,
sham cultural ideas about the importance of physical appearance.
marriages
andparental
disapproval.
Joining The Hattie and the Nottie (Regent Releasing): The
Abomination
aretwo very language of the title seems to come from a 6,year,old
newbooksworthyof who picks scabs and ~ats them. Lo and behold, grade school
note:WayneR.Besen's is actually where this modern fairytale of the "princess and
AnythingButStraight the dragon;' as one character lovingly refers to BFFs Cristabel
andEx-GayResearch,
(Paris Hilton) and June (Christine Lakin), begins. Scab eating,
editedbyJack
or infected,toenail tasting, as the case may be, also aptly cap,
Drescher
andKenneth
J. Zucker(haworth- tures director Tom Putnam's gross,out aesthetic in this There's
press.com).
- Diane Something About Mary,ish comedy. Scrawny slacker Nate
Anderson-Minshal Cooper (Joel David Moore) has physically matured since the
age of 6, but emotionally, not so much. He revisits his child,
hood crush in Los Angeles, thinking she's the "one who got
away;' and finds Cristabel Abbott's grown up to look a lot like
Paris Hilton, replete with a small cult of restraining,ordered
stalkers. Now, decades later, the Barbie lookalike has the same
inseparable best friend,June Figg, who wears smelly tube socks
and is positioned as the "ugly" obstacle to Nate's quest, since
68
I curve
Cristabel has sworn off dating until June finds her first shot at
love. After shelling out thousands of dollars for spa treatment
gift certificates, in hopes of "flipping" June, Nate realizes, after
she's had wart, hair and tooth,grime removal, that it's June he
really digs after all. Go figure. Hitting all the generic plot points
of a straight romantic comedy about finding love where you
least expect it, this film simultaneously guts the cliches it rides
in on. However, like Hollywood clockwork, it ends up rein,
stating "face values" by the time the hour strikes midnight. As
the moral of the story-looking past superficialities-surfaces,
it becomes clearer that Nate doesn't deserve smart and sassy
June; he gets the hots for her only after she's been made over.
The Hottie and the Nottie is, indeed, a tale of unrelenting, unre,.
quited love, but from Cristabel's perspective. She's the commit,
ted, smitten knight who sees past June's outward appearance all
along and truly loves her, warts and all. Portrayed as someone
who can "have anyone;' Cristabel is an ice queen who deflects
male attention; she's fixated on June and fixed on making her
happy, whatever that means. It's only when June's paired off that
she goes through the motions and hits on awkward Nate, albeit
indifferently and robotically. Yes, this film is a much more en,
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OTHER PICKS
wherewomenextort
protectionmoneyfrom
WickerBarnandpeddle
blackmarketestrogen
patchesat the localpub.
Hilariousall around.
(acornonline.com)
DianeAnderson-Minshall
joyable read as a queer love story. Imagine the
plot in a queer alternate universe: Cristabel
arrives out of breath before Nate and June
kiss, clocks Nate in the head with one of her
heels, professes her love and finally claims her
damsel. (regentreleasing.com)
Butch Jamie (Ballet Diesel Films):
(u
Jamie Klein (Michelle Ehlen) is a struggling
butch actor in a Hollywood beset by traffic
and strict gender norms in casting. Woefully
dismayed by the fact that her roommate's cat,
Howard, not only gets more callbacks, but has
better PR than she does (Howard has his own
choreographed hip-hop reel and head shots),
Jamie tries femming it up with press-on nails
and a wig, only to be shut down before she
can barely mouth her monologue. Advised to
'3ust be yourself" by her buddy David (David
Au), she enters the next tryout in her customary black T-shirt, studded leather bracelets and
spiky bleached hair-and to her astonishment
lands the gig! But as "Steve;' the quintessential
straight dude. In addition, the producers don't
want anyone to know that she's a woman playing
a man's part. So when Jill, a sexy crew member,
falls for the kind, vegetarian "male'' actor, Jamie
suddenly finds herself developing her character
RedWithout
Blue
(Sundance
Channel):
This"accumulation
of
snapshots"
tellsthe
storyof howqueertwins
MarkandAlexdealwith
transgender
identity.As
Alexbecomes
Claire,her
twin Marktalksabout
howthetransitionaffectedhisownidentity.
Whatthisaward-winning
documentary
showsis
that nomatterwhatparentaldisapproval,
divorce,drugs,distance,
attemptedsuicideand
rape-these siblings
refuseto giveupontheir
relationship.
(redwithoutblue.
com)- Katie
Peoples
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Jamie's chest binding while they're making out,
and Jamie passes the bandages off as products
of recent heart surgery. Full of funny, original
characters, ButchJamie is an irresistible mix of
drag, sarcasm and slapstick. And writer-director Michelle Ehlen has found a charmer of a
star: hersel£ (balletdiesel.com)
■
Suburban
Shootout
(Acorn):Finally,the
DVDdebutof this
wickedlyfunnyBritish
showin whicha quaint
Englishvillageis runby
rivalgangsof suburbanhousewives.
With
a rapidfire dialogue
andbrilliantstorylines,
Suburban
Shootout
plays
likea Sopranos
meets
Desperate
Housewives,
TransAmerican
LoveStory(Logo):
Television's
newestdatingshowdefinitelyisn't
A Shotat Love.Youwon't
find anybutch-phobia
or bulltesticleeating
contests,andthe leading
ladywon'tbegyratingon grandma'slap.
Launched
in February,
TransAmerican
revolves
aroundtransactress
Calpernia
Addamsand
hersexy,bisexualbest
friend,AndreaJames.
Theduopokefun at
the datingshowgenre
whileusingthevenueto
increasetransvisibility.
Theydrawattentionto
the universality
of dating
rituals,specifically
focusingonthosewhodate
transwomen,proving
theyarejust as normal
andbizarreas any
datingshowsuitor.We
don'talwaysagreewith
herchoices,butenjoy
the rideandwatching
Amazon-god
James
makethe guyssquirm.
(Propsto Logofor giving
a transguya chance;we
won'tdivulgewhoheis).
(logoonline
.com)-DAM
al
April 2008
I69
Q+A
Samara Halperin
below)? Do you feel that
this form lets you say
something that live-action does not?
Well,
when
I
made
TumbleweedTownI had been
making live-action films for
about 10 years ... and I love
live-action, but it can be a
little stressful getting everything together and being
dependent on actors. The
film that I made right before
TumbleweedTown was called
Shari Shapiro'sSlumberParty,
and in it there was a person
who plays a young version of
me-me at age 11-and I
A filmmaker since the late 1980s, Samara Halperin
is the director of the short gems TumbleweedTown,
a stop-action film featuring gay toy cowboys, and
Sorry,Brenda,which brings to the fore the homoerotics of Brandon and Dylan's relationship on
BeverlyHills 90210. Halperin uses her movies to
create a social space where gays and lesbians can
see their own lives reflected. In addition to her
films, Halperin does her part to change the world
by teaching video production and film animation
at Mills College in Oakland, Calif., and at the
University of San Francisco. - HeatherGilligan
What inspired you to begin a career in
filmmaking?
I've always been interested in art, from when I was
a little kid. I initially wanted to be a cartoonist, and then I was a ceramic sculptor ... I went
to college for art and I decided I didn't want
to carry around heavy sculptures for the rest
of my life. I've always been interested in writing and photography-my
mom's actually a
photographer-and
I thought filmmaking
would be the way to go. My clothing wouldn't
get as dirty as [when I did] ceramics and I
could basically incorporate my love of all the
different art styles, like acting, and improv. It
all came together with film and video.
What drew you to stop-motion with plastic toys for Tumbleweed Town (pictured
spent four years trying to find
this actress. So when I started
on TumbleweedTown I was just so thrilled to
be working with toys. My sister actually gave
me a packet of cowboys and cowgirls-that's
actually how they were marketed by Tonka
in the '70s and early'80s. And so I just decided the cowboy was very intriguing to me, and
I wanted to build a world basically for him. I
just wanted to build a little mini Texas where
my cowboy could cruise and find a boyfriend
and have a good time.
You must have had some very interesting reactions to Sorry, Brenda, especially
from the Gen Xers who grew up watching
90210. What's the best reaction you've had
so far?
The best reaction I had to the film was from
Jason Priestley himself The Conan O'Brien
show [Late Night with Conan O'Brien]found
out about Sorry, Brenda when Jason was
going to be a guest in 2001, and they contacted me to ask if they could reference it or
screen it. They have people who dig up dirt
on the celebrities and this was considered
juicy enough. Conan asked questions about
how he felt about Brandon and Dylan being
contextualized as gay lovers [and] he said he
loved it and that it was about time that the
homoeroticism of Beverly Hills 90210 was
brought to the forefront. I am and was and
probably will be forever a 90210 fanatic. So
for that to happen-it was above and beyond
any fantasy that I'd ever had about it.
You say in a recent interview that you encourage people to make movies because
art changes the world. What kind of change
do you want to make in the world with
your films?
I originally started making movies back in the
'80s. I didn't see queer representation at all.
And I was a kid, a teenager, and I was looking
for media that was going to reference me
and the life that I hoped to live as I grew up
queer, and I just didn't see it. And that's why
I started making films really, in the first place,
because film and video-it's just widespread
media. It has the farthest reach; it's not isolated
in a museum. You can see it on television and
see it in the movies or festivals; you can see
it on the Internet for free if you have access.
For me, it was a way that I could make my
concerns and the world that I lived in and
engaged in more public. Because I lived in
New York City, and for me to have a lack of
community as a young queer teenager- I knew
that there were people in more rural areas
that probably had even less access than I did.
I just wanted to see that representation. And
I wanted to see my stories and other q~eer
stories out there. And now, as you know, of
course, working at CURVE magazine, it's not
the case anymore. There is queer representation almost everywhere and it is part of [the]
mainstream, or gaystream, whatever you want
to call it. But it's still important to me to get
the word and get the art out there and encourage people who've never done it before to pick
up a camera and make a movie with video. It's
accessible,and it's pretty easy.■
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70
Icurve
In the Stacks
Reviews
Hope Springs Eternal
I
These stories explore the process of change. By Rachel Pepper
Is beautiful
If
Change is in the air, and along with it come a new crop of stories
chat examine the process of transformation from two different
perspectives.
My Miserable, Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy, Andrea
Askowitz (Cleis Press): While not as miserable or as lonely
as the title suggests, Askowitz's tale is nonetheless a breath of
fresh air for all lesbian moms-co-be who try to be perfect poster
children for queer parenting. It takes a brave mama (and not
surprisingly, a single lesbian mama), to acknowledge chat despite
our image of the glowing, robust pregnant woman, often we gals
feel less than stellar: "Week 9, Day 6. No one says feeling miserable is a side effect. Everyone
talks about pregnancy bliss
and the prenatal glow. This
is the worst experience of my
life. When people ask, 'How
are you:" I say,'I've never felt
worse: I'm antisocial, fat, and
scared:'
Hey, I relate. Askowitz
also quickly learns some
ocher revealing truths about
lesbian motherhood, like that
my miserable, lonely,
lesbian pregnancy
ANDREA ASKOWITZ
noncommittal
girlfriends
and
shaky partnerships
do not a co-mother make, that donor choices can lead to
becoming a "lesbian with male fertility problems;' that sometimes old friends disappoint when you need them most, chat
new tents are not deemed appropriate shower gift suggestions,
chat a pregnant belly is quite the mainstream accessory and that
giving birch is a bizarre, painful, yet completely empowering
experience. Askowicz's sharp wit and self-effacing humor make
the book credible, and my copy has many annotations in the
margins reading"Yes!" and"Ha ha:'
But I could have done without the author's negativity-calling out a worker at a particularly well-respected sperm bank as
being"as phony as a used-car salesman" or saying that a certain,
quite helpful pregnancy book "sucks:' Grumpy and pregnant is
one thing, mean-spirited is another.
For the most part, though, Askowicz, the founder of a
nonprofit outdoor organization for LGBT teens, shares a
much-needed, well-told story. That her pregnancy ends in the
well-supported, birth-center arrival of a perfect baby daughter
(quickly quelling her hormones and satisfying all her maternal
urges) will not surprise readers who are already mothers. But
this happy outcome may be a huge relief for lesbian mamas-tobe, who will be especially gratified to know that even though
one's pregnancy may be crappy, you'll most likely be more than
grateful with the outcome. (cleispress.com)
The First Man-Made Man, Pagan Kennedy
(Bloomsbury):Pagan Kennedy makes a significant contribution
to the canon of LGBT biography with her fascinating account
of the life of Michael Dillon, one of the first known FTMs.
Dillon, born Laura in 1915, grew up dreaming of sailor suits
and Tarzan-like adventures in a wealthy but eccentric British
family. She eventually attended Oxford as a woman, joined the
rowing team, started smoking a pipe, pursued straight women,
became a mechanic and tried to come out as homosexual, only
to realize chat she wasn't really gay. She even tried to join the
military, only to be cold she was too mannish to sleep in the
women's dorms.
Miraculously, some testosterone pills ended up in her
possession in 1938, and she began taking them. Here Kennedy
is able to quickly and skillfully cell a succinct history of the
pioneers of the transgender medical movement, plastic surgery
and hormone therapy. Covering ground previously tackled
by academic historians,
Kennedy tells us about
Eugen Sceinach, who performed sex changes on
guinea pigs in Vienna, surgeon Harold Gillies, who
ran a plastic surgery center
during World War II and
endocrinologist
Harry
Benjamin, who established
the protocols still used today by physicians in treating
transgender people. Dillon's
tale is woven not just with
these folks, but with the
story of Roberta "Bobbie"
Cowell, a MTF with whom Dillon found kinship, and tried to
find love with, in the 1950s. A minor celebrity and pioneer in her
own right, Cowell was first a male Royal Air Force captain and
prisoner of war who decided that if he survived the war, he'd
fulfill his dream of becoming a woman. By the time their paths
crossed, Dillon had survived a long course of surgeries and had
been living as a man for more than five years.
Dillon posited that trans folks (called transsexuals
throughout the book, in keeping with historical times) 'clevelop
their identities while still in the womb;' and that psychological
help wasn't what was needed to help them-hormones
and
surgery, still cutting-edge theories today, were. Although the love
affair between Cowell and Dillon didn't work out, Dillon's life
took many strange turns. Eventually ending up penniless after
attempting to become a Tibetan monk, Dillon has been largely
forgotten, even though his personal story and his thoughts on
trans people remain vibrant today. (bloomsburyusa.com)■
-~•1lfct<
jokd.e"ivrt
SPRING
CLEANING
Self-helpwe
canget behind.
SlowIs Beautiful,
CecileAndrews
(NewSociety):
Both
a strikinganalysisof
corporateandpolitical
forcesthat havecreated
a time-impoverished
culturedevotedto
moneyandstatus,and
a passionate
vision
for creatinga caring,
unhurried,
fulfillinglife.
(newsociety.com)
MindingtheBody,
MendingtheMind,
JoanBorysenko,
Ph.D.
(Lifelong
Books):
The
conceptthattakingcare
of the mindis thefirst
stepto takingcareof
the bodyringstrue.This
reprintoffersa practical
approach
to relieving
stressandanxiety.
(dacapopress.
com)
CleanSweep,Denny
Sargent(Weiser
Books):
Sargentdares
andencourages
you
to takea seriouslook
at life,decidingwhat
needsto bebanished
fromit andjust how
to do it. (redwheelweiser.
com)- Diane
Anderson-Minshall,
Teresa
Coates,
Kamala
Puligand/a
April 2008
I 71
PAGE TURNERS
Q+A
ily historyby transauthorKate
Bornstein.
However,
manyof the
piecesarerepetitiveandin the
end,it is the ultraconservative
white
patriarchy
thattheseartistsand
writersarecriticizing;Rice,for better or for worse,seemsonlyto be a
willingparticipant.
(sevenstories.com)
- Kamala
Puligandla
Diane Meholick
What do a recovering alcoholic, obsessive compulsive disorder and the city of Buffalo
all have in common? For fans of Diane
Meholick, the answer lies in her recently
released third book, Buffalo Stories,which
is a definite departure from what her readers have come to expect from this New
York native. Buffalo's subject matter might
not be about time travel, and the stories
do fall outside of Meholick's comfort zone,
but the book certainly provides a wild ride
for readers looking for an interesting literary journey. - ColleenM. Lee
Why Buffalo?
Honestly, I chose Buffalo as the setting for the stories because I love the city.I
love its history, its architecture, its artists, its musicians, its writers and its
potential. I spend a lot of time in Buffalo. It is a wonderful place to be.
You're known for writing time travel stories. Why the change?
The switch was inspired by a local Buffalo singer-songwriter named
Alison Pipitone. After hearing her song, "Charlie's for the Last Time;'
I sat down and wrote the short story"That Summer at Charlie's:' And
it was the first short story I'd written in 20 years. Once I'd completed
the story, others followed in quick succession. So I went with the process and let my muse go. When I re-read the stories, I realized that
they had a theme and a stance, which is my stance on love.
The book is filled with individuals who definitely need either
therapy or an intervention. Was that your goal?
Not really. But you have a point. I think basically what came out in these
stories is the frailty of the human heart, the frailty of the human
psyche. No man or woman is an island. People need people. As much
as that is a cliche, it is also true.
You said these stories showcase the belief that love transcends
all thought and reason.
I believe that love is a force all its own. When it hits you, it takes control.
It owns you. And that is not necessarily a bad thing. Love changes
you, oftentimes for the better. Things are no longer all about me. They
become all about us, and that is beautiful. Also, love cannot be categorized or pigeonholed. It doesn't matter whether Jack loves Jill or Jill
loves Mary or Jack loves Paul. Love is beautiful. And if society could
get past the categorizing and the labeling of "this is normal" and "that
is not normal;' the world would be a better place.
Was the story of Gwen, who is in love with her best friend and
just can't tell her, inspired by a personal experience?
Now that's a great question. Can I plead the fifth? In part, yes it was.
Embellished quite a bit, though, because basically,I think that's what most
writers do. We experience something and draw a story or a novel from
it by letting our imaginations go wild. I call it the "what if" syndrome.
So how is the gay dating scene in Buffalo?
Spectacular and fun.
72 Icurve
■
Ani'sRawFoodKitchen,
AniPhyo
(Avalon):
Eatinga completely
raw
fooddietmayseemlikea commitmentyoucan'tkeep,butwith
the helpof AniPhyoyou'llseehow
the effortpaysoff in the longrun.
Herarrayof deliciousrecipeswill
convinceyouthat eatingrawis not
impossible
anddefinitelynotboring.
What'sreallygreataboutthis book
is Phyo'sexplanation
of howlong
eachof herrecipesstoresin the
refrigerator,
andyou'llbesurprised
TheMortalGroove,
EllenHart(St.
at the numberof dishesyoucan
Martin'sMinotaur):
Withher15th
preparein advance
that arestill
gooda weeklater.(avalonpub.com) JaneLawlessmystery,Hartis at the
topof hergame.Thetitle character's
-Mea Chavez
father,a successful
Minnesota
attorney,is askedto runforgovernor,
Veganomicon,
IsaChandra
butthemenorganizing
hiscampaign
Moskowitz
andTerryHope
havedisturbingsecrets.Asyoung
Romero(Avalon):
Everthe clever
wits,Moskowitz
andRomeromake Vietnamvetsin the early'?Os,they
to the unsolved
gourmetvegancookingaccessible wereconnected
murderof a youngwoman.What
in Veganomicon.
You'lllovethe
menusuggestions
at the backof the theydo nowto keepthetruthfrom
Thisnovel
bookandthe massiveindexrivaling unfoldingis frightening.
is darkerandmoreunsettling
than
thatof theJoyof Cooking.
Hart'spreviousworks;however,
the
(ava/onpub.com)MC
authorcleverlyaddslevityto theseriousness
of the subjectthroughthe
well-placed
humorof Cordelia
Thorn,
Jane'ssidekick.(minotaurbooks.com)
- Kathilsserman
Dr.Ricein theHouseEd.Amy
Scholder(SevenStoriesPress):
Thiseclecticcollectionof writing
andart is meantto denounce
the
politicalagendaof U.S.Secretary
of
StateCondoleezza
Rice.Thebook
presentsa numberof persuasive
arguments
andcreativeportraitsof
Rice,inlcudinga poembyAfrican
AmericanlesbianpoetSapphire
andan insightfulmusingontam-
Shimmer
andOtherStories,Lori
L.Lake(RegalCrestEnterprises):
LoriLake'snewbookincludesfive
brilliantfictionaltalesthatarevaried
in plotbutconnected
bya common
theme.Theyexemplify
the grit and
adversityof reallifewithtopics
rangingfromsexualharassment
to
2'
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survivingbreastcancer.Thetitle
0
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story,"Shimmer,"
is setduringthe
w
1969Stonewallriots.Manylesbians 6fz<(
weresilentandinvisibleuntil
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Stonewall.
Thereis a lot of heart
a:
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packedintothe pagesof this book, ::E
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w
butthe collectionsendsusa clear
zz
message:
Wecanchoosethe path
0
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ourlivestake.(rega/crest.biz)
- Kl
Music Watch Reviews
Quirky Queer Indy Rock
A look at some of the more interesting indie rockers out there. I By Margaret Coble
This month, let's take a look at some of the more interesting inde,
pendent queer/dyke rock bands whose albums have come in re,
cently-from the political DIY punk of Brooklyn's the Shondes
and the classic rock riffs of Buffalo'sAlison Pipitone Band, to the
aggressive indie sounds of Illinois,based Tina Sparkle and the
Latin,tinged pop of Texas,rooted Chica y Los Gatos.
The Red Sea, the Shondes (self-released): CuRvE's
music issue cover,queers [Vol. 17 #6), the Shondes, have finally
released their debut album, and it was well worth the wait. If you
heard their three,song demo that was available earlier last year,
you'll be more than happy with this 11,track studio produc,
tion that really brings out their urgent, intertwining vocals and
punk,meets,classical instrumentation. Louisa Solomon (bass),
Temim Fruchter (drums), Ian Brannigan (guitar) and Elijah
Oberman (violin) have been together as a band for about two
years now. Despite not having an album, they managed to garner
quite a healthy buzz in the underground rock scene via rigor,
ous cross,country touring. Their name means "shame" or "dis,
grace" in Yiddish and is a fitting title for a three,fourths Jewish,
three,fourths trans, all,queer, feminist, activist band. Their radi,
cal politics drew me to them from the start, but it's their fierce
musical mix that has me listening to The Red Sea on repeat and
made me venture out late one recent rainy weekend night to hear
them live. The combination of Oberman's mournfully eloquent
violin with Brannigan's brash guitars and Solomon's sinewy bass
lines, anchored by Fruchter's punchy beats, makes for a dramatic,
full,bodied sound that is then made all the more compelling by
various combinations of the members' alternating vocals, weav,
ing in and out of each other. The fugue,like battle cries of"Let's
Go" and "I Watched the Temple Fall;' have multiple melodies
and lyrical lines and are brilliant fits of punk passion, while
Oberman,sung tracks like"Winter" and"What Love Is" expose a
more tender and poignant side to this complexly beautiful band.
(shondes.com)
Growing
Pains,MaryJ.
Blige(Geffen):
Regularly
compared
to thesoulful
songstresses
Aretha
FranklinandAnitaBaker,
it seemsthat MaryJ.
Bligecando nowrong,
andhereighthalbum,
GrowingPains,is no
exception.
Thequeen
of R&B/hip-hop/soul
is
backwitha bang(and
with bangs).In herlatest
venture,Ms.Bligegets
personal,
highlightingherrelationship
strugglesandtriumphs.
Theempowered
woman
in songslike"Just
Fine,""ShakeDown"
and"NowhereFast"is
contrasted
to a morevulnerableMaryJ. in tracks
"HurtAgain,""Losing
Strength"and"Fade
Away."Butwhetherit
istheconfident
or the
uncertainMaryJ. belting
outherheart-filledlyrics,
Ms.Bligecontinues
to satisfyanddeliver.
(geffen.com)- Colleen
M.Lee
Tigerbabies, Alison Pipitone Band (Slice): Alison
Pipitone has a sexy,gritty voice that instantly recalls Joan Jett, and
her music is of a similar vein-no,frills, straight,ahead, old,
school rock 'n' roll. An out lesbian, Pipitone has been making
music for over 20 years now (soundtrack fans might remember
Quirky Queer Indy Rock continuedon page 75
April 2008
I 73
OTHER LICKS
Q+A
izing,other-worldly
voicebehind
1980scultfavesDeadCanDance
putsouta 15-cutretrospective
covering25 yearsof hersoloand
collaborative
highpoints,including
scoresfromseveralaward-winning
films.TheMiddleEastern-flaired
"Yulunga
(SpiritDance)"is still one
of myfavorites.(lisagerrard.com)
Suede
Haven't heard of Suede yet? Well,
fasten your safety belt, this self
proclaimed diva is ready for liftoff.
Take one part Ella Fitzgerald, toss
in some Bette Midler and Rosemary
Clooney and top with some Louis
Armstrong, and you've got Suede,
pop/jazz extraordinaire.
Sultry. Smooth.
Sizzling.
Suede has been making pop/jazz
magic for 27 years and counting.
She creates bring-the-housedown blues and love songs infused
with her own warmth, humor and
originality, which is just one of the many reasons fans flock to her shows
time and again. Suede just might be the loudest, best-kept secret in music
today. - CarolBryant
For current and soon-to be fans, tell us who Suede is.
I've been a musician for nearly 27 years, own my own company and record
label and I was born with an ability to play nearly any instrument I could
find. In general, my style is pop/jazz/blues, but I sing anything that calls
to me.
You perform on both land and sea, including Olivia Cruises. What
can one expect when attending a Suede concert?
Expect the unexpected, as I never do the same thing twice. I am not just a
musician; my shows are energy-filled with music and humor spanning
the complete emotional range. I approach my voice as an instrument and
play it for my audience as such.
Do you think being a lesbian helps or hinders you as far as being
out as a performer?
I am amongst a rare breed who has been doing this long before it was safe
or trendy to be an out lesbian artist. I've never fit the stereotypical ideal
of a female jazz singer, lamenting about being done wrong by her man
in song. My songs are non-gender specific, and I have been true to who I
am. Thanks to NPR, PBS and indie stations, the word is getting out.
Tell me about your albums.
To date, there are four CDs and one DVD, also airing on PBS stations,
Suede: Live at ScullersJazz Club. My next CD is due out spring 2008,
and is being recorded in Tony Bennett's son's studio with Tony's son
as our engineer. I'm going full-steam on this one, with horns, strings,
"Neverland" from Peter Pan and some original songs written for me, including a very moving tune inspired by my relationship with my dad,
who passed away recently.
You are a self-proclaimed diva. Can just anyone be a diva?
Any woman can be a diva and wear the badge proudly. A diva is any woman
who stands up for and knows herself; she strives for what she both wants
and needs. For me, a diva is a magnificent female singer. ■
74
Icurve
Delusions
of Grandeur,
Cathy
Richardson
(CashRich):This
artful,18-cutfollow-upto 2003's
GrammynominatedTheRoad
ToBlissis an epic,wide-ranging
setthat aptlycapturesthe out,
Chicago-based
singer-songwriter's
growthas a vocalist,musician
andproducer;stylesrangefrom
acousticandsoulfulsoundsto
dramaticstring-andchoir-accompanied
pieces,andevena few
reggae-tinged
songs.Whata voice.
(cathyrichardson.
com)
WhiteShoesandTheCouples
Company
(MintyFresh):Hailing
fromIndonesia,
this co-edsextetof
formerart schoolclassmates
make
melodic,'?Os-inspired,
cinematicqualitypoptunesthat stickin your
headandwon'tlet go.Theorchestral, English-language
"Nothingto
Fear"is a sure-firehit,thougheven
Indonesian-language
cutslikethe
soaring"TentangGita"andjazzy
"Windu& Defrina"will scorewith
fanswhohaveno ideawhatthey
aresaying-the melodiesarethat
infectious.(myspace.com/whiteshoesandthecouplescompany)
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KeepYourSilverShined,
Devon
Sproule(CitySalvage/Waterbug):
Virginia-based
Sprouleblends
bluegrass,
folk andjazzwith
soulfulporchswingpoetryon
hersophomore
CD,resultingin a
ONDVD
romantic34-minutesetthat begs
Hurrah!
A Yearof Ta-Oah,
to beplayedon repeat,endlessly.
ScissorSisters(Universal
(devonsprou/e.
com)
Motown):
Thisfeature-richDVD
fromtheflamboyant,
part-queer
SeventhTree,Goldfrapp
(Mute):
bandcontainsnotonlya 90-minute
In highcontrastto the glitzand
liveconcertshotat London'sflashy
glamof 2006'sSupernature,
the
02Arena,butalsoa one-hour,
benew10-trackset bythe eclectic
hind-the-scenes
documentary,
all
U.K.duois largelysedate,texturfilmedduringlastsummer'sKiss
allyrichandentirelyhypnotic.
YouOffworldtour.Extrasinclude
"Happiness"
is the mostupbeat,
four musicvideos,anacousticgig
sure-to-be-remixed
cut,whilethe
featuringbarebones
versionsof
opening"Clowns"is downright
theirbiggesthitsanda bonuslive
haunting.(go/dfrapp.co.uk)
trackshotat Wembley
Stadiumin
2006.Wellworththe money.(scisTheBestofLisaGerrard,
Lisa
sorsisters.
com)- MC
Gerrard(4AD):Themesmer-
uf
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Quirky and Queer Indy Rock continued from page 73
her song "Dynamite" from the 1997 dyke drama
All Over Me), but her current band incarnation
jelled in 2005; this is their most recent album effort. From the sing-along opener "Sunshinestar" to
the jazz-n-blues spruced "You Can't Keep a Good
Woman Down;' Pipitone knows how to craft a
good pop-rock song with an infectious hook. The
bluesy"Tiger" and rollicking"! Think You Get Me
Baby" both incorporate some nice sax work for
more of an all-American, Springsteen vibe, while
I had to check the liner notes to make sure "Love,
Love, Love" was an original and not some obscure
harmonica-blasting "Kiss and Tell" are harder
rocking standouts, while the more melodic opener
"Starting the Year" and string-filled ballad "Noun
Verb Noun'' are more radio-friendly picks. Solid
from beginning to end. Go Peoria. (myspace.
com/ tinasparkle)
Perfect Weather, Chica y Los Gatos (GRobot Studios): Out-lesbian Renee Muzquiz
Satterfield, this Peoria, Ill., quartet comes in more
on the alternative/indie side of the rock spectrum, frequently compared to PJ Harvey and the
Pretenders. Satterfield's lyrics openly address her
lesbian lovers, ex-lovers and crushes, while the
band's music aptly expresses the angst and regret
detailed in her songs about broken hearts, bad
has worked both solo and with a revolving cast
of backing "gatos;' including her younger brother
Ramon Muzquiz. Though she's recently decided
to explore the Pacific Northwest (Portland, Ore.,
specifically), this debut album is a band effort produced last year in her hometown of Denton, Texas.
Ranging from the sparse acoustic folk of "Lighten
Up" and "Not Fair" to the jazzier pop of the tide
track and melodic opener "The Core of Me;' this
self-released nine-cut disc is less aggressive than
the other albums mentioned above, but the bulk of
it still fits into an indie pop-rock category-even
the twangy slide-guitar stomper "Shoes Without
Souls" and Latin-jazz £laired "Baby,I'm Not Blind:'
Muzquiis lyrics cover her personal struggles and
triumphs in life and love, and her dramatic vocals
fall somewhere between a youngJoni Mitchell and
Tori Amos. The album took a few listens to grow
on me; I'm so curious to hear how the Portland
timing and missed opportunities. The scorching
distortion-fest, "Suck the Panic;' and the bluesy,
music scene influences her sound. Keep an ear out
for this one. (myspace.com/ chicaylosgatos)■
Joan Jett cover, with its punchy power-chord chorus. Every cut on this disc is strong. I really can't
understand why this woman isn't more of a national star. Buffalo better stop hiding her. (alisonpipitone.com)
All Around Champion Screw-Up, Tina
Sparkle (Thinker Thought): Led by Marsha
N
5
~
~
~
...J
LU
J:
(.)
0
a:
April 2008
I 75
Reviews
Tech Girl
It's Time to Get Your Game On
It's hard not to love all the new games coming our way.
Scores of lesbians have been gamer girls for years and even more women and girls are joining in on the new revolution
every day, especially with the introduction of game consoles like the Nintendo Wii, rental programs (like Gamefly) that
make getting a game as easy as renting a DVD, and smart programming where women aren't just victims. -Teresa
Coates, Katie Peoples, Colleen M. Lee, Diane Anderson-Minshall
My Kind of Date Night
If your image of gamers is geeky teens, well then, get ready to
rethink gaming consoles. It's true what they say. You cannot
explain Nintendo Wii-you have to experience it. While the
Wii offers the traditional Nintendo franchises, like Mario and
Zelda, lesbians of all stripes will love WiiSports,a series of five different games
that each replicate a real-life sport. Instead of pushing buttons and maneuveringjoysticks, you use the Wii remote like a tennis racquet, a baseball, a bowing
ball or, most fun of all, boxing gloves. (Rated E, prices vary, nintendo.com)
The Quiz Game Battle
Ready to duke it out? Two hot games will help you put your trivial pursuits
to the test. SceneIt?: Board games, move over and prepare to collect dust on
the shelves. Film know-it-alls get their chance to show off with Scene It?. This
movie trivia Xbox DVD game, which up to four players (or teams) can play,
is so addictive, fun and engaging that playing one game is not enough. Players
answer questions from 21 puzzle types-from identifying scenes and audio
clips to finishing famous movie lines. There is an endless supply of questions
and for the biggest bonus, the winner gets to walk the red carpet, while the
losers hold the door. (Rated E, $60, xbox.com) Buzz!:Get your next party
started right with this fun and easy trivia game. Up to eight people can buzz in
to answer general knowledge Hollywood questions. You can customize your
player (we especially like the hot vampire and the whimsical mime) and each
round of the game. Rollover rounds let your points roll over to the next player
if you get an answer wrong and the animated host, Buzz, will keep you on your
toes with sarcastic remarks when you do badly and kudos when you excel.
(Rated E, $40, buzz-games.com)
Kids on the PC (also available for Xbox 360)
VivaPiiiat;r.Kids and stoned college students will love Viva Pinata, in large
part because much of the game focuses on getting piiiatas in your hard-worked
garden through a mix of attraction and procreation. Encourage the genderneutral animals in their love affairs and you, too, can become a master romancer. Have fun gathering all the fudgehogs, moozipans and flutterscotches you
can, but watch out for the sour piiiatas and weeds. The only bummer is that
the game requires oodles (10GB) of memory. (Rated E, $30, vivapinata.com)
Lara Croft Is Back
TombRaiderAnniversary.
The brilliant and beautiful (not to mention acro-
ESRBRATING
T=Teen E= Everyone
76
I
curve
From top to bottom:
Wii Bowling, Scene It?,
Buzz!, Viva Pifiata and
Tomb Raider.
batic) explorer is back in Tomb Raider Anniversary. Lara looks more realistic
than she ever has in her 10-year existence and she has her own voice, as well as
a new set of gadgets and abilities.Travel with Lara as she is hired by a syndicate
to find a mythical object called a Scion. (Rated T, $30, t"ambraider.com) ■
EDITOR'S
PICK
Colored
XBox
Wireless
Controllers:
Have
youeverwantedto
playupto 30 feet
awayfromyour
screenandfor days
at a time?Now
youcanwiththe
Xbox360Wireless
Controller.
Getthe
playandcharge
kit,soonceyou're
warnedyou'reabout
to losepower(after
40 hours)youcan
plugin andkeep
gaming.Pickyour
favoritecolor(pink,
white,blackor blue)
andgameon,girls.
($50,xbox.com)
-Mea Chavez
Reviews I Tried It
There's Something in the Water
Aquatic therapy is more than a sink-or--swim proposition.
I By Diane
Anderson--Minshall
Finding a Watsu practitoner is easier than ever, but
finding one who works independent of a handful of expensive spas is another story. I found my Watsu therapist where I find everything else: on Craigslist. Marcus
Miller (larte.com) is an affable, emo dude who teaches
Watsu and Ai Chi (a water movement) at the OHSU
and the Jewish Community Center in Portland, Ore.,
and for private clients in San Francisco. Today I am one
of those private patients, but since I'm also a journalist
and sans car, I ask for a ride to the Marin pool where
we'll do our session.
I'm nervous, getting in a strange car with a man and
all, but there's a heated saltwater pool in my future, so I
buckle up. During the ride up, we converse about everything from Buddhism (he quotes a famous Buddhist nun)
to crappy cars (admitting he has one) to Watsu ("Watsu
is considered a Yin practice ... women typically, but not
exclusively,have easier access to their inner energy and so
often are more amenable to experiencing water work:').
But as we leave the highway and start winding our way
through tiny residential streets in affluent Marin, I begin
to get nervous. I followed him through the back gate of
~ne home in the middle of suburbia and, lo and behold,
a tropical oasis: a glistening warm pool.
z
I've done a great deal in the name of lesbian journalism. Once, when I was 22,
I got a Brazilian wax that involved me in a doggie-style position sporting paper
panties while an octogenarian drag queen named Ginger ever so gently tore my
pubic hair out. After that incident, I've been pretty willing to try anything.
I'm happy to report that Watsu was much easier on my nerves, though
my introduction to it was no less colorful than the bush job. Watsu-an
innovative form of aquatic therapy-was created in 1980 by Zen Shiatsu
practitioner Harold Dull. He began by floating patients in the warm waters
of California's famed Harbin Hot Springs, while applying the stretches and
principles of Shiatsu he had learned in Japan. The practice took off and today
Watsu is practiced in more than 40 countries. It's also become the primary
modality used as rehabilitation by aquatic therapists.
Since I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition several years ago, I've
been going from treatment to treatment searching for one that would fit with
my love of all things wet, so when I first heard about Watsu I was ready to
dive right in (FYI, there is no diving in Watsu-you don't even need to know
a:
how to swim).
(/)
0
0
~
(/)
~
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Cl..
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()
0
Though this isn't an exact description, Watsu does feel
like a combination of underwater massage and stretching.
In the most basic move, the Water Breath Dance, Miller
floated me in his arms, letting me sink as I breathed out,
letting the water then lift us both a bit as I breathed in.
The water takes the weight off my vertebrae, which allowed my spine to be moved in ways that would just never
be possible on land, and each twist and turn seemed to
relieve pressure on my pinched nerves and sore muscles.
Soaking in warm water is for many people one of the most relaxing places
to be (outside of bed) and because of that, Watsu sessions can feel almost
womblike-a cocoon-like relaxation so deep that I wasn't sure if I had fallen
asleep or not. Watsu, too, is what Miller calls "a physically close" type of
bodywork and because of that the percentage of women in the classes and as
practitioners is two men for every 10 women. But, Miller cautions, don't
mistake the physical closeness of Watsu with sexual actions. There's a strict
code of ethics among Watsu practitioners, who must be grounded and mindful and exhibit gratitude in the trust weve given them.
It's been months since my session, though I've been planning a follow-up
since practically the moment I got out of the pool that day. Some followers
come back regularly,others once a year. Now that I know what to expect, Miller
says I can "relax deeper into the work:' I may not understand core awareness,
conscious breathing, alignment visualization or really even the difference between my own yin and yang. But there was something in the water that day
that I tapped into and I have a feeling I will be discovering it again soon. ■
April 2008
I
77
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April 2008
I 79
Top Ten ReasonsWe Love Alexandra Billings
•5. Shestilllikesa littledrag.The one-time female
impersonator is currently playing her first male
role, Fagin, a male dominatrix with a nasty temper
in Twist, a queer pop-rock musical. "[This] is the
first time in 20-plus years of theater that I've ever
played a man:' Wrap your head around that.
6. She'san activist,too.She starred in GLAAD's
"Be an Ally & a Friend" public service advertisement
that encourages viewers to treat LGBT people
with respect.
7. Shestill getsstarcrushes.Billings admits she
was star struck standing next to Marlee Matlin
and Martina Navratilova at a GLAAD event. "I
literally thought to myself, 'I've died and gone to
celebrity heaven!"'
8. She'swickedlyfunny.Sample quip: 'Tm a transgender female, but that gets a little stuck in the
throat, like calling someone supercalafragilisticexpialladocious:' More proof of her sense of humor:
This year she's starring in the theater version of cult
fave, the black comedy The House of Yes.
9. Shevaluesolderactresses.
'There are actresses... over 40 and they're working and they're not
pumping themselves full of one thing or another
and they look fantastic!" But she admits, being a
woman over 25 in Hollywood can be tough. 'Tm
43 years old and I'm everybody's grandmother in
this town. All the roles that didn't go to JessicaTandy
are going to me:'
Ever since lesbian actor Alexandra Billings starred
in Chicago's rendition of Charles Busch's Vampire
Lesbians of Sodom, she's been winning awards for
her roles. Currently starring in Twist, Billings has
had a turn on ER and Karen Sisco and appeared .
on the hit Greys Anatomy episode that won an
award from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against
Defamation. The trans actor has given us plenty of
reasons to love her. - Jacob Anderson-Minshall
"I'm 43 yearsold and I'm
everybody'sgrandmother
in thistown. Allthe roles
that didn'tgo to Jessica
Tandyare goingto me."
1. She'sbeenin lovewith her wife sincehigh 3. Shelovesus back.Of Xena fans, she's said, "I
school. Billings married director Chrisanne
lovethem! They're one of a kind. Loyal,loud, raucous,
Blankenship in a commitment ceremony in 1996,
but she first fell for the girl in high school. Billings
admits, "I was in love with her and I had to have
her close to me:'
2. She lovedXenaas muchas we did. In fact,
Billings has starred in the title role of not one but
two Xena! Live! stage versions.
so Icurve
and fabulous dressers!"
4. Everyrolesheplayedhasmadehistory.As the
first openly trans actor to play the many theatrical roles of her career and the first trans woman to
play a transgender female character on television
in 2003's Romy and Michelle-A New Beginning,
Billings has broken down barriers.
10.Shethinkseveryone
shouldbe outandproud.
"I'm not talking about a big transgender sign
above your head. But, for the love of God, there's
no reason to lie. There's no reason to make up a
past. You've got to embrace what happened to you
because whatever happened to you informs what's
happening to you now:' ■
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