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Description
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ToC Polynesian Paradise by Maggie Jenson (p26); Cover: Courteny Semel by Diane Anderson-Minshall (p42); Criminal Crush by Katie Peoples (p46); Chef's Choice by Rachel Shatto (p54); Delirious for DeLaria by Bree Clarke (p49); 10 LGBT Plays We're Mad For (p50); Queer Queens of the Stage by Ariel Messman-Rucker and Kelsey Chauvin (p52); Holiday Gift Guide; Cover Photo By Tony Donaldson.
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Holiday Gift Guide
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issue
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10
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Date Issued
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December 2009
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol19_No10_December-2009_0CR_PDFa.
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extracted text
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Great Holiday Gifts for Everyone on Your List!
s
Courtenay
Semel
THEMOST
WANTE-~
Lesbian in
Hollywood ■
THEHOTHEIRESS
CONFESSES
ALL
ABOUT
LINDSAY,
TILA,CASEY
ANDHER
NEW
REALITY
SHOW
Property of:
Out On The Shelf
www .outontheshelf.ca
LLING
BEING AHEAD OF YOUR TIME IS NEVER EASY. That's why one of our core values is to respect
all people and value their differences. That's being progressive. And as a company, we aim to live
up to our name. We were the first to do things like offer insurance online and the first to let you
compare rates just as easily. Because like you, we believe in change, especially when it's for the better.
See progress at progressive.com/glbt
PROGREIIIVE
Progressive Casualty Ins. Co. and its affiliates, Mayfield Village, OH. 09P00116.D (04/09)
FRANKLY
SPEAKING
curve
THE BEST-SELLING LESBIAN MAGAZINE
DECEMBER
2009
I
VOLUME
19 NUMBER
10
Publisher and Founder Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Diane Anderson-Minshall
Managing Editor Kristin A. Smith
Associate Editor Rachel Beebe
Assistant Editor Rachel Shatto
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Music Review Editor Margaret Coble
Contributing Editors Julia Bloch, Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Gretchen Lee, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
Editorial Assistants Briana Hernandez, Ariel Messman-Rucker,
Frances Yee
PUBLISHING
Senior Advertising Executive Diana L Beny
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
Advertising and Marketing Assistant LaKeisha Hughes
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Photo Editor Hayley McMillen
Production Manager Ondine Kilker
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
Web Producer Nikki Woelk
Photo Assistant Piper Robbins
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Jamie Anderson, Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin, Bree
Clarke, Jennifer Corday, Lyndsey D' Arcangel 0, Beren deMotier,
Ainsley Drew, Michele Fisher, Lauren Marie Fleming, Katrina
Fox, Tania Hammidi, Kathi lsserman, Gillian Kendall, Kate Lacey,
Nina Lary, Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey,
Candace Moore, Alison Peters, Catherine Plato, Aimsel L. Ponti,
Heather Robinson, Laurie K. Schenden, Lori Selke, Dave Steinfeld,
Edie Stull, Robin Miner-Swartz, Yana Tallon-Hicks, Kyra Thomson,
Jocelyn Voo, Alison Walkley, Melany Walters-Beck
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Paul Michael Aguilar, Erica Beckman, Cheryl Craig, Tony
Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Gabriela Hashun, Janet Mayer,
Cheryl Mazak, Maggie Parker, Elisa Shebaro, Leslie Van Stelten,
Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams, Misty Winter
1550 Bryant Street, Suite 51 0
San Francisco, CA 94103
Phone (415) 863-6538 Fax (415) 863-1609
Advertising Sales (415) 863-6538 ext. 15 or (212) 446-6700
Subscription Inquiries (818) 286-3102
Advertising Email advertising@curvemag.com
Editorial Email editor@curvemag.com
Letters to the Editor Email letters@curvemag.com
:,,:
~~
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Volume '9 Issue 10 Curve (ISSN 1087-867)() is published monthly (except for bimonthly
January,February and July/August) by Outspoken Enterprises, Inc., 1550 Bryant St.,
Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103. Subscription price: $49.95/year, $62.95 Canadian
(U.S. funds only) and $71.95 international (U.S. funds only). Returned checks will be assessed
a $25 surcharge. Penodicals postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additional
mailing offJCes(USPS 0010-355). Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced 1nany
manner, erther whole or in part, without written permission from the publisher. Publication of
the name or photograph of any persons or organizations appearing, advertising or listing 1n
Curve may not be taken as an indication of the sexual orientation of that individual or group
unless specifically stated. Curve welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and
artwork. Include SASE for response. Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient
materials. Submissions cannot be returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope Is
included. No responsibility is assumed for loss or damages. The contents do not necessarily
represent the opinions of the editor, unless specifically stated. All magazines sent discreetly.
Subscnption Inquiries: Please write to Curve, 1550 Bryant Street, Surte 510, San Francisco,
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PO Box 122, Niagara Falls, ON L2E 688. Send U.S. address changesto shop@curvemag.com,
Curve,PO Box 17138,N. Hollywood,CA 91615-7138.Printed1nthe U.S.
Courtenay
ComesOut
If you read any of the celeb mags or tabloids, you're bound to know that
Courtenay Semel is a Hollywood girl-on-girl socialite, known as much for her
antics as for her famous friends (like Kim Kardashian) and powerful father, Terry
Semel (former Yahoo! CEO and Warner Bros. studio chief). When our editor in
chief managed to pin down the heiress turned actress, author and entrepreneur
for this exclusive expose, it served as Semel's official coming out, in which the self
proclaimed "Don Juan of the lesbian world" goes on the record about her alleged
relationships with Hollywood's hottest, her new reality TV series, rehab and
cutting the purse strings. Wonder how we scooped the larger magazines with
this rare one-on-one:'
"It's CU rve;' the always-cool Semel gushed. "It's not the typical magazines that
a lot of my friends have done so far-you guys rock and you're the number one
lesbian magazine. I want to be that voice for the lesbian community and bisexual
community. I'm so excited about it. You have no idea:'
In the end, we came away with an interview that was so long it could have filled
12 pages (look for the rest at curvemag.com). And when the cover images came
in, Semel was every bit the anti-diva, nervously inquiring, "What photo did you
pick for the cover? Is it the one in the white shirt:' I loved the one in the boy shorts.
It's my screen saver:'
We hope you agree with our pick. If you don't, look at page five for some other
cover options and tell us your choice. Don't miss our gorgeous six-page special on
Tahiti, which follows two women who get hitched in a Polynesian wedding-and
have their honeymoon on the islands that make up the region.
With this issue we end our 19th volume of issues. Starting with the next issue,
we will begin our 20th year, which is set to include tons of special surprises,
interviews, flashbacks and predictions for the next two decades of lesbian life,
politics and culture. Subscribe now because next October we will publish our
special 20th anniversary issue and host a huge lesbian celebrity bash like you've
never seen-and of course, subscribers get the first crack at the issue and, we
hope, much-sought-after tickets to the party.
curvemag.com
I
(.)
December 2009
I1
Features DECEMBER
2009
26
Polynesian Paradise
Why Tahiti is the perfect place for a lesbian
wedding. By Maggie Jenson
42
Courtenay Semel
The sexy heiress spills the beans on Tila and
Lilo and proves she's the most wanted lesbian
in Hollywood. By Diane Anderson-Minshall
46
Criminal Crush
What happens when lesbian teachers fall for
female students. By Katie Peoples
54
Chef's Choice
Favorite recipes from our favorite chefbians.
By Rachel Shatto
31
AnnualHolidayGiftGuide
189 Gifts to Give This Year
49
LiveGirlson Stage:TheaterRoundup
Delirious for Delaria
See what we've got in our goodie bag.
A maven of stage, screen and song.
By Bree Clarke
50
10 LGBT Plays We're Mad For
From Penny Arcade's dirty words to
Kimberly Dark's Oykeotomy.
Queer Queens of the Stage
52
We get Naked with sexy Odalys Nanin
and schooled by Ms. Behavior. By Ariel
Messman-Rucker and Kelsey Chauvin
page
31
Everyoneon YourList\
_...- .
page
41
page
world." Courtenay Semel
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"I'd like to say that I'm kind of
like the Don Juan of the lesbian
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>> page 42
Departments DECEMBER
2009
IN EVERY ISSUE
1
6
8
10
18
64
Frankly Speaking
Letters
14
Lipstick & Dipstick: She wants to
spend the holiday with her ex. Is that OK?
17
Religion: A lesbian Pentecostal pastor on
reconciling religion and sexuality.
Contributors
What a Lesbian Looks Like
20
Open Studio
AstroGrrl
Dyke Drama
Can a computer find you love?
22
Politics
What it means to go "home" for the
holidays.
11
Curvatures
Hot tees, D.C. dykes, Amelia Earhart
fashion and 16 months of lip-locked ladies.
24
Celebrity Gossip
The battle over who Kissed a Girl first,
Latifah gets a lap dance and Jodie
is single, at last.
56
Music: Introducing the young, punky
58
Books: Rebecca Walker and Eileen Myles
guide us through the unknown. Plus, books
we almost missed.
60
Film: On the indie screen: Linda
Andersson's TheSeer and The Six-Month
Rule,and a one-on-one with Michelle Lawler.
62
Tech: Hersband and Wife take their
Internet sensation on the road.
41
curve
7
Plastiscines. Girls on guitars for your lady.
The Queen brings us new beats.
urvemag.com
Pretty in Pink
The pop superstar on the bisexual rumors, why all her
friends are lesbians and what she loves most about being
on the road.
~
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Cherry Jones
~
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The Emmy-winning 24 star takes a turn on the big screen
as Eleanor Roosevelt in the upcoming feature film Amelia.
She dishes on playing power parts, working with Hilary
Swank and splitting up with 1V star Sarah Paulson.
~
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Top Chef Exclusives
This season's hottest chefbians dish on what's cooking
behind the scenes.
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So many hot lesbians,so little time-er,
covers. Let us know who you would rather
have seen on the cover. Email your vote to
letters@curvemag.comand be entered to win a
lesboliciousgift.
We found so many ways to give charitably, we couldn't
squeeze them all into our Gift Guide (page 31 ). Get the full
list online and spread some holiday cheer.
1
11 Women to Avoid
From the Collector to the Closet Case, these chicks
should come with a warning label.
t) The Show
Goes On
Go one-on-one
with two trans
performers shaking up the theater
scene. Plus, we
review irreverent
advice guru Ms.
Behavior's latest
production.
court
sern
ll\EM
WAN'T
Lest)laf\
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December 2009 \ 5
LETTERS
en's magazines with readersranging
insulted or offended by anything I
from 18 to 80, and probably
have read in curve because
a few on either side of these
of my age or stage oflife. Until
age brackets. It's our goal to
this most recent issue. [Vol.
be a voice for lesbians of all
19#8] The article "Winds of
To me the word
ages and we are committedto
Change" by Kate Lacey has
lesbian is ...
that goal. We made an error
a particularly mean-spirited
in judgement in not editing
sentiment in it. "No matA classiclike me,
andI ownit
out an unwise and mean-spirter what changes your lover
ited comment. Our sincerest
is facing, if you can't adjust,
0/ I don't
apologies.
IO do labels
you may find yourself higher
than Courtney Love and
Toorigid,I prefer
Don'tMessWithTexas
drier than a postmenopausal
something
more
fluid like"queer,"
I was very excited to read
woman:'
It's unfortunate
"bi" or "heteroabout my town Austin,
that this statement-which
flexible"
Texas in your magazine.
I believe to be disrespectful,
According
to a curvemag.com
poll
[Vol. 19#5] However, I
insensitive and insulting to
women-appeared
in this particular issue, think your author (Alison Walkley) should
have actually visited the "Live Music Capital
where there is a great deal of meaningful
of the World" before writing about it. One
content for women of all ages and backgrounds. Believe me when I tell you that a bar in particular that she wrote about, the
1920s Club, has been closed for at least four
woman is not all dried up just because she
is post-menopausal and it is not the end of years. One of the hottest clubs in town is
now Rusty Spurs on 7th street where they
life! Rather, it's a fabulous new beginning.
- Candace Kramer, Boynton Beach, Fla.
just celebrated their one-year anniversary
and you can find gays and lesbians actually
Editor's Note: Curve is one of thefew wom- mingling together, which makes our town a
Poll
46%
38
16%
Remembering
LadyBlue
I was reading your article "Top 51 Closeted
TV Lesbians" [Vol. 19#5] and remembered
one hot year in the early '80s, there was a
police show, called Lady Blue starring an
aggressive character named Detective Kary
Mahoney played by steamy actress Jamie
Rose (who never got her day). Many straight
women have never even heard of the show
( which competed with the likes of Cagney
& Lacey) but ask many dykes-just
say,
"Remember Lady Bluet and the reply is usually,"Oh, my God, yes!"
- Stephanie Monticello, New Jersey
AcrosstheAges
Hi! I just wanted to say to say I love the magazine. I just recently started reading it and
it's just amazing. I never thought there was
a classy lesbian magazine until I came across
curve. On a side note though, I was wondering if you ever include any teen perspectives2 Being a teen myself I think it would
really add some more insight into what it's
like growing up as a lesbian or bisexual.
- Kat S., via email
My life partner and I are 58-year-old women
and, most months I read my issue cover to
cover and find myself wishing I had come
to my sexual awakening at a much earlier
age. As my partner and I have gotten older,
I think your story lines have gotten younger.
But that's OK. There's usually enough of
interest to a woman of any age to keep me
subscribing. However, I have never felt
6
Icurve
The Femme Divide @ Curvemag.com
The only thing better than our tongue-in-cheek article,
"10 Things Femmes Wish You Knew" by comics Suzanne
Westenhoefer and Vickie Shaw, were your comments!
We're not all bottoms.
Just sayin'. - MarchthisQ
Femme girls are
the sexiest. I love
it when they wear
pink. - Leabo
As a chap-stick lezbo
I have to say that this
sounds like a dead on
description of every girl
I've ever dated. I dig girls
in pink, so keep on doing
what you do, femmes!
-AlexST
This article is the best ever! It couldn't be any
truer. Well, at least for me. I also really loved
the fact that they mention that to be a lipstick
lesbian you don't have to wear dresses and
heels all the time. I am a complete lipstick
lesbian, through and through, but I couldn't
tell you when I last wore a dress. - igir/80
When did
Westenhoefer
become
a femme?
-Jesus
I find this article
extremely essentialist and offensive. I
know that femmes
love football, are
tops, know how to
change oil and pay
bills. - femmetron
l. ..take exception to the part
that we are all bottoms. Yes, it's
lovely to be ravished, but I also
like to please. We are, however, totally misunderstood.
We just don't get the credit
I agree with everything here
or taken seriously and are
except the deal about dogs vs.
soooo confused for straight
cats, and the "bottoms only"
chicks. - Debb
bit. Pffft please. Just because
I'm very feminine does not
mean I cannot be sexually
aggressive. [And] I happen to
love my cats. - kcgirlgeek
very unique LGBT community.
- Debbie Barrera, Austin, Texas
Editor's Note: Oops, talk about eggon ourface.
We did send our writer to Austin this year but
it sounds like she had one too many of your famous beers beforeshe wrote her notes! Thanks
for the catch,Debbie. It sounds like we owe you
a beer-at Rusty Spurs.
OurGal
Jennifer Corday's article covering her visit to
P-Town was fantastic! (Vol. 19#5] Keep up
the great work at curve!
- Sharon L. Mayer-Riedy, San Diego, Calif.
Moreonthe TransDebate
As I was browsing through the Politics sec-
e
tion (at curvemag.com], I came across the
"Gender Turbulence" article. Whether the
comments were actually intended to be
"trans-hating" or not, they were unnerving.
Many stated that trans issues are not lesbian issues. Our strength is in numbers. The
only way we can make political waves is if
we stick together as genderqueer individuals and fight for our common goal: equality.
We may be gaining a political say in some
ways, but we sure as hell aren't all there yet.
Didn't we just get our rights taken away in
California not too long ago? I don't think
that was a call for our movement to separate
into separate groups. I think it was a call
for the movement to unite, even stronger
than before, and fight until the bitter end.
- Allison Korotkin, via email
Sendlettersto: curve magazine
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GOTO:curvemag.com/letters
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Servicesarenowavailableat
curvemag.com/customerservice:
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• payyourbill
• get missingissues
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Seeing Queerly
Curve's own editor in chief Diane Anderson-Minshall was fortunate to be included
in Jeffrey Horvitz's photo project, Queer Aperture, which features members
of Portland, Ore.'s LGBT community, like mayor Sam Adams. Now showing at
Portland's Q Center it "shows the commonality and the diversity of our community through a little theatricality," says Horvitz. Just a few of the women featured
(clockwise from left}: Dr. Noel Thomas, a naturopath and "all around great spirit"
part-time burlesque star Anderson-Minshall, and garden and food author Jean
Ann Van Krevlin.
From the Editor
The first time I worked
during a production the time when
you literally put a
publication togetherit was frenzied and
exhausting and,
in the '80s when
nobody had personal
computers, rife
with technology
so antiquated that
people in college
nowadays have never even heard
of it (remember VDTs? Yeah,
nobody does). Our tech is top
notch at curve but production is
no less frenzied- especially for
the December issue. Our giant
annual Gift Guide (the things
lesbians tell us they want this year)
takes an army to assemble. Nearly
all the staff is involved. Each year
our art director, Stefanie Liang,
and production artist, Kelly Nuti,
threaten me with bodily violence
when I hand them hundreds of
images and pages of text to "work
out" in just a few days. It means
late nights, long weekends, no
sleep and some cranky Curvettes.
This year, during one of her late
nights, Kelly texted me, "I want
to marry the gift guide." When I
looked baffled, Stephanie said,
"So she can break up with it! Me,
too!" Fortunately, we're all still
alive and as we sent it to press,
we're all expecting a very long,
good night's sleep. Here's hoping
our hard work pays off. But, if
we missed anything, let us know.
And make sure you check out
our "Gifts We Missed" article on
curvemag.com.
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Editor in Chief
December 2009
I7
CONTRIBUTORS
''Ar no other job would I be given an assignment to get high~resolution photos of vibrators;•
jokes photo assistant PiperRobbins.
"But that's just another day at curve!"A native of southern Indiana, Robbins took her first picture at 3 years old and her parents still show it off
from time to time. "It's a terrible photo, but not too bad considering I couldn't count yet;' says
Robbins. When she's not shooting, Robbins can be found advocating for the continued use
of film. "Photography is my one true love;' says Robbins, who is also an avid feminist and has
put on all~girl band shows at local venues to benefit the San Francisco Women's Center. The
next year will bring a trip to the Middle East and a move to New York.
"The most fun part of being a critic is allowing yourself to react naturally to a piece of art, while
absorbing the full context in the most objective possible way;' says contributing writer KelsyChauvin.
"Well, that, plus getting the royal treatment at the theater;' she jokes. In this issue, Chauvin inter~
views playwright Meryl Cohn, also known as feisty advice columnist Ms. Behavior, who's enjoying
raves for her latest production And Sophie Comes Too. "Truth be told, I've always been a critic-or
at least critical. I guess that goes with being an artist myself;' Chauvin admits. Born under a lucky
star, she lives the dream in New York as a freelance writer, photographer and filmmaker. Chauvin is
in post~production on her third short film, Yes & No, which she hopes eventually will be reviewed
candidly and fairly by professional and amateur critics alike. (kelsychauvin.com)
"We were about 25 minutes into the makeup and hair and we were listening to the studio's
Internet radio feed when Courtenay asked, 'Does anyone have any Britneyt I did;' recalls contributing photographer TonyDonaldson
of this month's cover shoot. "Once that playlist started,
Courtenay-a photo shoot virgin-relaxed and had fun with us:• Despite the paparazzi and
media attention, Courtenay Semel had never had her own photo session, but Donaldson put
her at ease and she was fantastic-as you can see. What is Semel like underneath the makeup
and glamr "Really fun to work with and a very sweet person. She surrounds herself with great
people, as well. Several friends visited the sec;' says Donaldson. who even liked her manager,
which, according to him is a rare thing. ''I've had some managers who were quite difficult,
and I've refused shoots based on handlers that I can tell will be nightmares. But I had a blast
shooting Courtenay, as I do with all the people I've had the pleasure of shooting for curve
so far:' ( tdphoto.com)
~
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Behind the Scenes With Courtenay
Want to ~et closer to this celesbian? Go to curvemag.com to see even more of Courtenay in the exclusive behind the
scenes video of our December cover shoot with contributing photographer Tony Donaldson.
s j curve
l
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curvatures
Finding Community in the Capital
There was a time when Sonali Gulati thought she
was the only South Asian lesbian on the planet. That
was long before the Richmond, Va., resident and
native of India discovered Khush-DC, a social and
political group for LGBT South Asians, based in
Washington D.C.
"It helps contribute to social change;' Gulati says of
the organization, which hosts film screenings, dinners,
panel discussions and other events to promote the
visibility of LGBT people in the South Asian community. In April, while serving as the vice president of
the group, Gulati, 36, helped organize a monumental
event that brought together group members and their
Gulati (right) and
partner Geeta Jahberi
HIGH-END HAWAII FOR A GOOD CAUSE
When a disease affects
one in eight women,
you can bet the lesbian
community is going to
take up the cause to fight
it. While there are many
events close to home
aimed at supporting breast cancer research, why
not use your vacation to help fight the cause? This
year some of Honolulu's swankiest hotels, spas
and adventure programs have designed a heavenly
break for women who want to make a difference.
For each reservation in the Travel Pink, Travel
Oahu program made before December 31, 2009,
participating hotels will make a substantial donation
to the Susan G. Kernen breast cancer appeal. Pink
Travel enticements include various combinations
of room upgrades, spa treatments and goodies,
cocktails and, at the Royal Hawaiian, a luxurious
fuchsia teddy bear for the ultra-femme in your life.
The idea of a beachside body treatment for two
would make any lesbian blush with excitementsupporting women with cancer doesn't get much
more romantic than that. (visit-oahu.com/travelpink)
[GillianKendall]
parents for a dinner celebration and discussion.
''As queer people, we're always coming out, and
coming out is just part of our identity;' she says. "Ir's
a rite of passage. Coming out to parents ... within the
South Asian community [is) particularly valuable,
because South Asians, culturally, prefer not to air
our dirty laundry outside. We're much more private
people. And so, to really be out there, publicly speaking
about [being gay), it's a huge deal, because there's so
much shame attached to being gay:'
Gulati, a professor in Virginia Commonwealth
University's department of photography and film,
says she was surprised to learn about the existence
of Khush-DC when she was coming out in the mid'90s. "I just assumed that the only places where one
would find organized groups would be San Francisco
and New York;' she says.
And though the group has evolved since then, its
purpose remains the same. "I think it's really important for South Asians themselves to know that there
are people like them. Imagine growing up and not
having a reflection of yourself in the mirror;' Gulati
says. "That's a really odd way to live your life. And in
some ways, Khush-DC is that confirmation that, yes,
there are people like you:• (khushdc.org)[YusefNajafi]
GOODBYE
MISSDAISY
Sadly,Daisy,the 5-year-old
lesbianpuppycompanion
of popstarJessicaSimpson
hasreportedly
fallenvictim
to homophobic
wildlife.The
puppy-dyke
wasabducted
by a coyotein L.A.this fall,
just daysafterSimpson
outedthe Maltipoovia
Twitter,saying,"Daisyand
herbestfriendBellaback
togetheragain,"captioning
the attachedphoto,"Lesbian
lavasforever!"In July,Ozzy
Osborne's
Pomeranian,
Little
Bit,fell victimto a coyoteas
well.Nowordyet if thereis
a serialkillerloosein L.A.
Whilechancesareslim,
curve andSimpson,
who
saysher"heartis broken"
overthe disappearance
of Daisy,continueto hope
for hersafereturn.Anyone
withinformation
on Daisy's
abduction
canwriteto
findmissdaisy@gmail.com.
[RachelShatto]
the rundown
Thinking of jetting off for a sexy vaca~
tion with the girl of your dreams? Take a
look at American
Airlines,whose AA.com/
rainbow was the first comprehensive
airline website for LGBT travelers and
has, for the eighth year in a row, received
a top score on the HumanRightsCampaign
Corporate
EqualityIndex... The AliForney
Center,the nation's largest organization
working with homeless LGBT youth, has
just announced that it will be naming a
residential site after the late BeaArthur.
Arthur was a strong supporter of the AFC
before her death earlier this year ... Ladies,
how are you feeling about the state of
our nation? According to a new national
survey conducted by Witeck-Combs
Communications
andHarrisInteractive,
65
percent of LGBT adults say that things
in the country are going in the right
direction, compared to 45 percent of
heterosexuals. [Sassafras
Lowrey]
It's the Real Thing
"This feels right was my first thought when I had my first lesbian kiss after many
years of kissing men," says model Natalie Van Schalkwyk (pictured above right, in the
blue shorts). "Turns out there was nothing bisexual about my curiosity. I felt
completely at home with this lesbian kiss, and have ever since." Van Schalkwyk is
featured in the 2010 I Love Kissing Girls calendar, the latest offering from London-based
photographer Nadia Attura, stylist Mercury and their posse of lesbian and bisexual
models, whose sizzling / Love Ldn Girls calendar was a smash last year. Attura says her
goal for the project was to challenge stereotypes and give queer women more visibility
in the mainstream. We certainly like what we see. (ilovelondongirls.com)
/// NEWTAKEONTIES
The Gaydar
Here's a taste of lesbians in pop culture this month.
Who missed the mark and who was right on target?
TheHungerTheSusan
Sarandon-Catherine
Deneuve
queervampiremovieto be
remade.Here'shopingit doesn't
star anyonefrom the new 90210
e
s
e's
We Dig Amelia Earhart Chic
Lesbians have long pondered whether Amelia
Earhart was playing for our team ( though
married, it was a very different sort of relationship). The feminist icon always coded
queer for her sense of adventure, as well as
her sensible shoes and cropped hair, and now
her fans are ringing in a season of Earhart
chic. The 20th-century aviator, whose death
is still shrouded in mystery, has inspired endless ephemera from fashion to film, books,
biogs and even crafty jewelry on etsy.com.
Fly Girls {Clockwise from top): Hilary
Swank in Amelia; aviator-inspired
couture at Paris Fashion Week;
PersephonePlus earrings
The recent Hermes fashion show was
rife with Amelia-inspired bomber jackets,
trousers and aviator hats-and
sexy shorthaired gaydar-pinging women walking down
a runway amid a dozen spinning plane rotors.
The collection's designer, Jean Paul Gaultier,
told the Associated Press, "I was inspired by a
woman, I forgot her name, an American pilot
with very short, wavy hair who was wearing
13' an aviator jacket, which I love, and a little
~a: scarf that was so Hermes. That's when I said,
~ i\h ha, that's it:"
~
Turns out ol' what's her name-a
cute,
co
~ freckled, lanky tomboy who was often
~ described by reporters as "Lindy in drag"
~ because of her resemblance to Charles
~ Lindbergh-was
America's first celeb~ rity fashion designer. According to the
UJ
B
Huffington Post, her short-lived Amelia
a:
~ Earhart line, which was underwritten by the
U.S. Rubber Company (yes, a tire maker)
[B' in 1934, ushered in the era of fashion mass
~ marketing. According to HujfPo, "Many of
the fashions ... mimicked Earhart's
0
()
flying
clothes and were made
Cl)
c..
c.. in washable, practical fabrics
z
0
:i: like Grenfell cotton, a staple
it of English hunting wear:'
(/)
i
(/)
Can we hear a "les-bi-an" ~
On Etsy, you can find dozens of Amelia
pendants, cigarette cases and reproduction luggage, as well super hot earrings by
PersephonePlus (whose Gothic, romantic
steampunk-inspired jewelry is all the rage
with hipster dykes).
The famous fly girl will hit screens this
month in director Mira Nair's upcoming
flick, Amelia (foxsearchlight.com/ amelia),
which stars Hilary Swank, the lesbo-loved
actor who has defied gender roles in Boys
Don't Cry and Million Dollar Baby. The
production
is chockablock with girl power:
The crew has women in
several roles, including
writers, composer and
production designer.
To accompany
this
sure-to-be-Oscar-fare
movie, are three books:
Nair's official companion to the film, Amelia:
The Motion Picture, which
offers side-by-side comparisons
between the
real people and events and their on-screen
counterparts, along with original press clippings, photos, maps and stories from Nair
and her crew (and a foreword by Swank herself). Also check out Women Aviators: From
Amelia Earhart to Sally Ride, Making History
in Air and Space, which offers a magnificent
tribute to a century of women aviatrixes who
fought against the odds to man airships,
rockets, balloons and airplanes. Among the
most riveting characters is Bessie Coleman,
a sharecropper's daughter who worked as a
laundress to pay for her own flying lessons,
later becoming a performance flier and the
first African American-man
or woman-to
become an airplane pilot. (Both from rizzoliusa.com.) Finally, for the ultimate illustrated
biography of Earhart, pick up Amelia Earhart:
The Thrill of It by Susan Wels.
A quick gander at these books and Swank's
new film reminds us why Earhart chic isn't
just about that romantic jolie-laide feminist figure; it's about the allure of
women aviatrixes and what they
mean to us (and, well, why we
still find them hot). [Diane
Anderson-Minshall]
Women's resorts, bars,
cafes, bookstores & more,
across the US, Canada,
Europe & beyond.
Plus lesbian cruises &
tours, women's festivals,
pride celebrations,
LGBT film fests,
eco-adventures & more!
Call for a free catalog
I
or visit us online at
ADVICE Lipstick& Dipstick
WishingYou a VeryMerryEx-Mas
DearLipstickand Dipstick:My girlfriend,Ariel,
andI werehangingupstockings
anddecorating
the houseyesterday.
We were drinkingchampagne and singingcarols.It was so festive
and fun-until she laid this one me: "Susie
[her ex] asked if I'd have Christmasdinner
at her parents'house.Is that OKwith you?"I
was shockedandblownaway.I said"no"and
startedto cry. I don't understandwhy she'd
want to go there insteadof beingwith me.
We're spendingChristmasEve and morning
together,
soam I beingan insecure,demanding
jerk?- Cryingin the Rafters
Lipstick:Hold on a sec, Crying in the Rafters,
because Ariel is not over her ex. Lou Rawls
sang, "Christmas is the time that we should
be together;' not "Christmas is the time we
should hang out with our exes and leave our
partner at home:' You're not being a jerk, and
I urge you to tell Ariel how you feel. What I'm
not saying here is that seeing exes during the
holidays is wrong, just that the relationship
needs to have truly solidified into a friendship
and you-the current girlfriend-need
to be
invited. Shake up some festive martinis and
tie Ariel up with tinsel if that's what it takes
to keep her close to home this Christmas.
Dipstick:Tie her up with tinsel? Really,
Lipstick, you can't force Ariel to stay away
from her ex. She may or may not be over Susie,
but you can't make her choose. Ariel probably just has fond memories of Christmas
time with Susie's family. Sometimes when we
break up with someone, we miss her family
more than we miss her. Ariel doesn't want to
give that connection up. Can't say that I blame
her-I still miss Mrs. Martucci's homemade
pasta sauce and gnocchi. But Lipstick is right
on one count: If Ariel's going to start building a new life with you, you should also be
invited to Christmas dinner.
DearLipstickand Dipstick:Howdo you know
whensomething
is reallymutual?I hada great
nightwith a verywell-knownlesbian,whois a
big part of the community
in SanDiego.It was
nothingsexual,just intimatehand-holding
and
14
Icurve
touching.I thoughtwe werefeelingsomething
mutual,but abouta weeklaterI askedhervia
emailto havecoffeewith me. I alsotold her I
reallylikedherandwouldlikeusto getto know
eachotherona one-on-one
basis.Shesaidshe
just wantsto be friendsand I'm so confused.
- WaitingandWondering
Dipstick:I'm curious what this gal is "wellknown" for? Being a player? Where did
this hand-holding cake place? On the beach
around a campfire with alcohol and Mary
Jane? If so, she wasn't feeling you-she was
feeling the romance of the moment, the salty
breeze, the hook-ups going on nearby, the
buzz in the air. Next time, go sober.
Lipstick:Dipstick, cool your jets. W and W
didn't say anything about bonfires and booze.
W and W, what's there to be confused about?
You two may have enjoyed a fantastic night
together, but you need to take her words at
face value now, because she's being really clear:
You're not going to exchange wedding vows,
just best friend charms. One of two things is
going on here. First, maybe the night meant
more to you than her. Second, maybe she's
stymied with a fear of falling for someone and
the whole night scared her, so she's pushing
you away entirely. Either way, quit trying to
piece this puzzle together and move on.
Dear Lipstickand Dipstick:I feel a little bit
stupid asking this, but my girlfriendand I
havebeentogetherfor overa year andin the
middleof lovemakingthe othernightshejust
announcedshe's a "firm" bottom!We have
alwayshad awesomesex, and she's always
beenbothtop and bottom.Am I wrongto feel
betrayedandthat our entiresex life hasbeen
a farce?Whatthe heckis a "firm"bottomanyway?- TopsyTurvy
Dipstick:Firm bottom? Are you sure she
wasn't complimenting yours? Or, maybe she
was complimenting you by saying that you
made her feel so good, she would be happy to
always beon bottom. Actually, I think she was
trying to tell you she's not that versatile and
she just wants to be a pillow queen. But that's
my interpretation. You should ask her what
she means. After all, if you want to continue a:
to have a good sex life, you need to have good ~
communication. And, before you toss her out w
of bed, why not give her way a try? Maybe ~
you'll discover you're a big ol' firm top.
::i
1
NTED
omen
withbigheart
formeaningful,
fun-fill
dvaca
ion
inexotic
desti
atio.
CALL 877 793 3830
DISCOVER SWEET.COM
CST# 7()9175", 40
ADVICE Lipstick& Dipstick
Lipstick:I saw a firm bottom today running
along the beach by my house. Yum. I'm not
sure what I'd say in the heat of the moment if
my girlfriend, after a year of scrumptious give
and take, suddenly declared she's done taking
the reins. Maybe "get out of my bed"? If this
is how your girl really feels and she's not just
being lazy (could be), this should have been
something she shared with you after the first
week, not the first year. I call foul. Don't sleep
with her again until you get to the bottomer, top-of this.
DearLipstickandDipstick:I havean amazing
girlfriend.We're in a long distancerelationshipnow,andwill be untilI'm ableto getback
to the States.I loveher with all of my heart.
Thingsare great betweenus. We don'tfight.
She'severythingI haveever wantedand so
muchmore.You'rewonderingwhy I'm writing to you if everything's
great,right?Well I
think my girl is still in lovewith her ex. The
problemis, he'sdead.He killedhimself.They
weretogetheroffandonforthreeyears.I have
talkedto her abouthim beforeand she said
theyneverwouldhavemadeit becauseof his
issueswith drugs.HowcanI helphergetover
him?Thereis somejealousy,but that'swhoI
am.Theotherdayshewrotea blogabouthim.
I just don'tknowwhat to do. MaybeI'm just
beingstupid,but it is botheringme.- Ghost
Buster
Dipstick:Before we get to the part about
the dead ex, let me address your statement,
"There is some jealousy, but that's just who
I am:' I beg to differ. Jealousy is not who you
are; it is a behavior you learn and something
you can overcome. Writing a tribute blog
about someone you loved who is no longer
alive is not something that should incite jealousy. What is there to be jealous of? The guy
is dead. Lipstick, why can't people appreciate
what they have?
DearLipstickandDipstick:
HowdoI letwomen
know,withoutusingwords,that I am a single
lesbian?
It's prettyobviousI'm gaybutnotthat
I'm singleandwant to meetsomeone.
I work
in retailin a big city and helpgaywomen
on
a dailybasis.I havemanygayfriendsbutthey
areeitherin relationships
or toofriendlytoget
involved
with.I don'tgoto barsbecause
I'ma
recovering
alcoholic.
- Candysgirl@lesbo.com
Lipstick:
I disagree, Dip. Ghost Buster, I don't
think you should be in a relationship with this
woman-neither of you is ready. Jealousy, in
this situation, is triggered by the fact that you
feel threatened by your girl's emotions. Your
girlfriend is not over the death and you feel
insecure about it. Until you both can get to a
different place emotionally, put up a wall and
call it quits for a while. Eventually, maybe you
can reunite, but healing takes time-give her
that, whether she wants it or not.
Dipstick:First of all, you start by changing
your email address. It gives the impression
that you're not available-even if Candy is
just your cat. Why don't you get a screen
print and make a T-shirt with the word
"single" on it? Oh right, that's using words.
This is a tough one. You can't ask a girl for
her number without using words either.
Unless you learn sign language. But those
are words too, aren't they?
Dipstick:
Your girlfriend is grieving a significant loss in her life. This really doesn't have
anything to do with her feelings for you. You
need to be patient and sensitive. The way to
help her get over him is to be loving. Losing
a partner to suicide is devastating and the
grieving process is a long one. You can wish
that she weren't going through this process,
but that won't help. If it continues to bring
up feelings of insecurity and you can't be
present with an open heart, and without
judging, then, like the femme said, you need
to remove yourself from the situation.
Lipstick:
Dipstick, you're so literal sometimes.
Candysgirl, you need to turn up the flirt-ometer. How about a long lingering look? The
message will be loud and clear. A wink makes
it even clearer. If she's single and likes your
pheromones, she'll let you know. After you
girls connect, be witty, thoughtful and generous, and do more listening than talking.
This is a sure way to bag a babe. ■
Want helpwithyour problem?
Write to tv@lipstickdipstick.com.
And tune intoThe Lipstick & Dipstick
Show at curvemag.com/lipstickanddipstick
THEPERFECT
DINNER
PARTY// FivePeople
We'dLiketo HaveOverForDinner
DIPSTICK
Pat Summit... headcoachof
theTennessee
LadyVolunteers
basketballteam,the winningest
coachin collegebasketballhistory, maleor female,thoughshe
mighthaveto stepoutto takea
callfroma newrecruit.
SuzanneWestenhoefer
...
the funniestlesbianin America,
she'll helpkeepconversation flowing(andwill
makejokesabout
Pat,while she'sout
of the room).
16 I curve
KateKendall... headof the
NationalCenterfor Lesbian
Rights,she'llinspireusto
getactive.
LIPSTICK
RachelMaddow
... political
watchdog
andTVhost,herfemme
wifewilltagalongsowecan
discusswinterfashions.
RachelMaddow.. .everylesbian
inAmericawantsto sit nextto her. EllenDeGeneres
... ananimal
Plus,she'llbringanexcellent
bottle advocate
andtalkshowhost,she'll
of bourbon.
bringseveralmuttsto entertainour
dogHarveyduringdinner.She'llsit
MichelleObama... thefirst lady
nextto Sarah,asthey'refriends
will appreciatemy homeandprobably
haven'tseeneach
grownsaladandshe
otherin awhile.
mightget intoa debate
WandaSykes... thecomicwill
on DOMAwith Kate
appreciate
thewinewe'vepoured
andRachel.
f~omDelDotto,a wineryI saw
Sykesperformat
lastsummerin
Napa,Calif.
AnneMurray...
a lovesongcrooner
(andhopefullya
closetdweller?)whowill
breakout into songin between
dinneranddessert.
SarahMaclachlan... the
singer-songwriter
livesnearby
andcanbringan Indianappetizer
(herchildrenarehalfEastIndian).
Maybeshe'llsinga duetwithAnne
bythe roaringfire.
Religion ADVICE
Out at the Pulpit
An openly lesbian Pentecostal pastor on
reconciling sexuality and faith. By Katrina Fox
Thirteen years ago, Sandra Turnbull became
one of the first openly lesbian Pentecostal
ministers when she was ordained into full
time ministry and began pastoring the
Metropolitan Community Church in Long
Beach, Calif. A former Assemblies of God
member, Turnbull began the inclusive Glory
Tabernacle Christian Center in Long Beach
in 2004.
The words "lesbian" and "Pentecostal"
don't exactly have a history of sitting
comfortably together, especially in the
Assemblies of God denomination, which
denounces homosexuality as a sin. "It's
taught that this is an area of brokenness
where people need healing," says Turnbull.
T urnbull's parents were Assemblies of
God missionaries, and after high school she
studied at the conservative headquarters of
the organization in Missouri, all the time
feeling "different" because she was attracted
to girls.
"There were no negative messages about
homosexuality, it was just never discussed;'
she recalls. "It was just a sense of being 'other'
and wondering why I always fell in love with
my best girlfriends:'
At 22, Turnbull traveled to Amsterdam
to work for a Christian charity called Youth
with a Mission, and it was there that she
met her wife and part-
Then she felt the Holy
Spirit saying, 'You'll marry
a woman: When I arrived
she felt God speak to her
and say,'That's the one:"
Turnbull, now 48, is a
warm, charming and en1
gaging person, and her eyes
light up as she talks about
her partner. After the pair
dated for a while, a worker
at the organization found
a love note written by
Robertson to Turnbull and
arrangements were made
to send Turnbull home.
"They said they were
sorry someone on their
staff corrupted me;' she
chuckles. "They kept me in
a room until the flight, but
Janet went to the leaders
and said she wanted to tell
me she was sorry, so they allowed us to go for
a walk. We went down to the canal and she
proposed to me:'
When Turnbull returned home and came
out to her parents, they were horrified and
sent her to a Youth with a Mission base in
North Hollywood for people "struggling
with
homosexuality:'
After a few months there,
Turn bull learned she was
living only a block away
from Robertson.
The
pair reunited and had a
commitment
ceremony
in 1986. But even now,
Turnbull's parents have
difficulty accepting her
sexuality. "They're really
loving and have come to a
place where they try to be
accepting of me, but just can't;' she laments.
"My dad said, 'Not until the Assemblies of
God changes their stand on this:"
So, why be part of a religion that sees
Then she feltthe
ner of 23 years, Janet
Robertson, who was on
staff with the organization at the time.
"Jan !t had known she
was a lesbian since she
was 5;' Turnbull laughs.
"It never conflicted with
her faith, but she knew
enough not to talk about
it or be in a relationship.
Before I arrived she had
a dream in which she was running through
the woods and from a tree came this figure.
She ran into the person's arms and she knew
it was a woman but couldn't see her face.
HolySpiritsaying,
'You'llmarrya
woman.' When I
arrivedshe felt God
speakto her and
say, 'That'sthe one.'
your love for another woman as sinful? How
does being queer and Pentecostal work?
Pentecostalism is simply a sense of the Holy
Spirit filling people and speaking to them,
Turnbull explains. "I believe Christianity is
meant to be inclusive. A lot of [biblical teachings] on social issues are archaic:'
In fact, when Turn bull came out publicly,
it wasn't just her sexuality that conflicted
with the traditional elements of the church, it
was also her gender. "One of the things that
bothers me in Christian churches is this tradition of male dominance over women and
saying they get it tr )m the Bible;' she asserts.
"Christianity doesn't have to be a patriarchal
tradition where women are oppressed:'
Turnbull has put her money where her
mouth is as pastor of the Glory Tabernacle.
Their aim is to be inclusive of everyone, and
about 70 percent of the congregation identifies as LGBT. Workers from the church,
including Robertson, travel to places such as
South Africa, where they offer help to rape
survivors and homeless queer youth. ■
December 2009
I 17
OPENSTUDIO
ArtisticActivism
These creative change-makers are using art to send a message.
Chris Carraher, aka JackDandy,
is an ecological activist and visual artist
whose work centers around her home: the vast desert that lies near
the mouth of California's Joshua Tree National park, which Carraher
describes as "having one foot in the wilderness and one in civilization:'
Whyis thedesertlandscape
sucha sourceof inspiration?
The desert is a laboratory. It's a lovely place to observe the world, because
there's not so much visual clutter and there is nothing interrupting my
vision. In a way, it's very simplified but also very dynamic.
What'stheinterplaybetweenyourart andactivism?
Sometimes I have to get off my environmental soapbox and observe through other mediums.
My art is the only place where I can really process beyond the rational and move into the
other sources of internal intelligence.
Whatdoyouseeasthegreatestthreatto yourarea?
Right now, claim-seekers are descending on us, especially regarding energy and expansion.
They want to set up huge solar plants, which literally scalp the earth and destroy our
ecosystem. The solution is to put solar on all the roofs in metropolitan areas rather than
one large, environmentally destructive plant.
Howdoesyourgenderqueer
identitymeshwithyourecological
activism?
It's tricky here, to be in a rurally conservative area and have the gender identity that I do.
Online is a place where I assert my gender identity. Here, I don't want it to be the key issue
and topic, when there are other issues I want to work on. [Kristin
A.Smith]
1s
I curve
Lesbian-feminist performance
artist extraordinaire JessDobkin
is ardent about her art as well as
her activism. Her daring performance pieces fearlessly explore
gender, sex and culture. Her piece
"Lactation Station;' for example,
invites viewers to become participants at a "milk bar" by sampling
different types of pasteurized
human breast milk. And in the
more recent "Everything I've Goe,
she looks at the creative process
and what happens to work that
doesn't get produced due to a lack
of time or resources. She does
AlexSmith,a San
Francisco-based queer
artist and activist, makes
large-scale, oil-on-steel
pieces about the trials
and tribulations of a boi's
bathroom.
Whychoose
bathrooms
as
yoursiteof activism?
[Bathrooms] are gendered,
and for those of us that
live in the gray, they are
one of the larger issues
we deal with every day. For
gender non-conformists,
Youmadethequeer
bathrooms can feel
pilgrimage
toSanFrancisco inaccessible, as you have
fromthecountry.
Howdoes to learn by observing in
thatinfluence
yourwork?
a place where it is taboo
Growing up on a farm,
to do so.
I have an appreciation
Yourworkdealswith
for rugged and raw
seriousissues,
butit's
mixed-media artwork.
alsoa bitcheeky.
Here, incorporating
I want to make our
inaccessible, taboo-filled
graphic painting with
unpolished steel reflects
experience accessible to
the mixed-media of
those who have never
queer identity itself.
had to stop and look at
Clockwise from left: Jack Dandy's "Heavy
Equipment" and "Pinto Mountains" (inset);
C.D. Kirven's "A Bronx Tale;" Alex Smith's
bathroom series; Jess Dobkin performing
"Everything I've Got" and "Fee for Service;"
and Kirven's "Colored Entrance." Jess
Dobkin's "Mirror Ball" (bottom)
this by cataloging her journal entries after she
has penetrated herself with a dildo and birthed
a mannequin head.
"My work is intrinsically feminist because it
is always concerned with more than women's
empowerment;' says Dobkin. "I explore issues
of power and inequity. I also use my body as
my starting point. It's my primary material and
I use it in relation to feminism as a way to take
back ... what has been taken from us as women.
I am both subject and object:'
As provocative as some of her work is, the
Toronto-based artist manages to convey to her
audience that her performances are not merely
done for shock value. "I want to create an
environment to engage audiences in meaningful ways," says Dobkin. "I make it safe for them
to explore some discomfort, and shock is not
conducive for my purposes. However, I understand my work might come off as shocking
because I deal with taboo subjects:' [Stephanie
Schroeder]
the signs-the
man and
then the woman-and
decide, "Which one do
I look most like today?"
Hopefully, humor takes the
edge off a hard-to-digest
subject. [YanaTallon-Hicks]
C.D.Kirvenhas been unstoppable since the age of 16, when an article she wrote
about corporal punishment in schools became a catalyst to restricting the thencommon practice in her native Texas. Now in her 30s, Kirven continues on her
path of positive change by working for countless causes, including the prevention
of LGBT domestic violence, in even more creative ways.
Kirven's debut documentary, The Dark Side of the Rainbow,a short film about
same-sex domestic violence, is the first LGBT film to be captured entirely by cellphone, an appropriate medium for this urgent and often distorted topic.
"There is a dark side to everything, including the rainbow ... I'm hoping this
will lead to a healthy discussion about those dark aspects;' says Kirven. The film,
which was a finalist for the Texas Award in the USA Film Festival, is now part of
the abuse prevention programs at Chicago's Center on Halsted and The Dallas
Resource Center.
Kirven has also developed her own computer-based collage process, called electronic collage. She creates bold, urban pieces such as ''A Bronx Tale" and"Pride," that speak to
the racism and sexism in LGBT communities. Her work
promotes women's understanding of their inner strength
and beauty, which she says is an initial step to combating
domestic violence and reaching our full potential.
She exhibits her work to raise money, with the goal of
founding Dallas' first LGBT domestic violence shelter, the
Kirven House. "Most same-sex victims are turned away
from government services;' Kirven says. "I hope [opening
the Kirven House] will inspire others to do the
same within their community. One shelter
could save up to 10 lives a year:' [YTH]
Photos:Ellie Greenwood(Dandy),DavidHawe(Dobkin),
AmySnyder(AlexSmith),NathanWilson(Kirven)
December 2009 j 19
DYKE
DRAMA
KnowingVirtuallyEverything
Why her online profile might not be the sneak peek you think it is. By Michele Fisher
You did your research. You have an aerial
view of her house. You have" virtually" driven
down her street. You have met her "friends"
on Facebook. You know what bands she
worships, what restaurants she frequents
and who her playground nemesis was in
the third grade. She is a blogger and you are
now an expert on her opinions on everything
from the GOP (she doesn't like) to the ballwhacking Williams sisters (she loves). You
have peeked at her family vacation photos
and you feel like you could walk up to her
mom and discuss those incredible sunsets
over the Grand Canyon. In fact, meeting
her family will be redundant seeing as how
you know all of them almost as well as you
know her.
You have seen her in her PJ s, a prom dress,
a bathing suit and a SpongeBob costume. You
know that she struggles with nail biting and a
negative body image. Her therapist is one of
the highest-rated practitioners on Yelp, as is
her dentist and her hair stylist.
You have researched her employer and
found that the company is thriving, with
plenty of room and capital to grow. She
has both health and dental insurance
and a good investment option with
said employer.
Her Internet criminal background
check came back clean, as did her
credit check.
You have chatted with her
countless times in cyberspace,
sometimes into the wee hours.
You haven't had cybersex
because you both think it's pretty silly
and requires too much multitasking.
Someday, if all goes well, you will
actually meet her.
You know, technology can
really take the fun out of a first
date. Where is the mystery?
What happened to the intrigue?
What is there left to talk about,
when you finally do meet?
Nope, I refuse to be one of
those technophobes who rail
against the evils of modernity. I am glad
for things such as defibrillators and panini
makers. I am here to make friends with the
future-just not best friends. Instant profiles
and pix can be helpful when you are looking
for lust, love or a cheap apartment.
Truth be told, most of us could have saved
ourselves a lot of trouble if we had taken a
sneak preview of the women we were about
to embark upon a relationships with. For
instance, had I known that one woman I
dated owned only one book-a
self-help
book about codependence-I
probably
would have left after the first night of sex.
Facebookwouldhavebeen handyyearsago when
I foundmyselfshakinghandswith my girlfriend's
bestfriend.I'd just sleptwiththe best frienda
week beforeand snuckout of her house
becauseI didn'twant to
havesex with her
everagain.
•••
••
••••
• • -~----~
..........
20
Icurve
The sex was good, but it was certainly not
worth 11 months of psychobabble.
If you have ever dated someone who has
conveniently neglected to mention her wife
or husband, or out-of-state fugitive status,
some background info may have precluded
that little bit of drama in your life.
Facebook would have been handy years
ago when I found myself in the unfortunate
position of shaking hands with my girlfriend's best friend. I'd just slept with the
best friend a week before and snuck out of
her house because I didn't want to have sex
with her ever again, nor did I want to give
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her my name or telephone number. It wasn't
terrible sex-it was just awkward and alcohol,
induced. I crept out into the dawn, hoping to
remain anonymous and forgettable. I figured
she felt the same. Apparently, she thought me
quite rude and told my girlfriend all about
our prior association. That particular girl,
friend and I did not last long. I'm not sure if
her buddy's recollection hastened our demise,
but I know it didn't help. Had I been able to
see her friend's goofy face on a web page, I
would have been able to get in front of the
drama rather than get steamrolled by it.
If I had been given virtual knowledge of
some of the women in my life before I met
them in person I would not have:
I'd beenableto sharea drinkwith a woman
whosebodyhad,at onepoint,represented
an
entirestate).
5. I definitelywouldnot havehit on my
friend'smother-in frontof her husbandand
50 otherpeopleat their SilverAnniversary
party.Waita minute,technologywouldnot
havehelpedin that situation.I wasjust drunk.
Then again, if my wife and I had researched
each other on the Internet before we met, we
would not be a "we:' To be sure, I would still
have gone on the date after the preview, but
she definitely would have passed on me. (She
disagrees, but not convincingly.) We had
nothing in common. My past was checkered
and hers was solid. I am happy,go,lucky and
1.Takenthat vegetarianwomanto a steak
she has her days planned to the minute. My
houseon ourfirst date.
idea of financial planning is putting my spare
change in a pickle jar, which I cash in every
2. Madefun of accordionmusicwhile I was
winter for my first lift ticket. She knows
what a loaf of bread is going to cost in 2050.
outwith that hot chickwho,it turnedout,
She is younger, smarter and prettier than me,
playedin a zydecobandandwasthis close
are
(imaginemythumbandindexfingertouching and no, I am not being modest-those
here)to takingmehomeandplayingwith
just the facts. What do I bring to the table?
Geez, I sure am glad the wife doesn't think
me-I meanfor me.
like you. No machine in the world would put
3. Shotmy mouthoff aboutorganizedreligion us together, and yet, here we are in the flesh.
Over the years we have watched 'compat,
to that hotdykerabbinicalscholar.
ible" couples crash and burn while our less
than perfect match has not just endured but
4. ToldSouthernjokesto a formerMiss
Tennessee
who,up until my monologue,
had
flourished.
So go ahead-fire
up that computer
beentellingmyfriendsthat shethoughtI was
as cuteas a bug'searandthat shewasgoing and see what those ladies have to offer. But
to askmeout for a drink.(Andno matterhow remember, knowing virtually everything
about a woman isn't even the half of it. ■
downhomeit wouldhavebeen,I still wish
HOWOLD WEREYOU WHENYOU
Cl
<1%
IT
In my40s
*According
toa
curvemag.com
poll
In my30s
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POLITICS
what I now consider to be my real familymy lesbian family, the people to whom I feel
the closest and who love and accept me for
who I am.
Unlike heterosexuals, queers are often forced
to create their own familial units outside of the
claustrophobic and often assaultive confines
of their biological family.
Like any birth or death process, it can
be a painful journey of self-discovery and
concomitant loss. It's painful to realize that
we might never reconcile with our biological
families. But we have to forge our own paths,
irrespective of where we came from.
For those of us who fail to meet the
expectations of our biological families and
feel unable to cope with the constraints,
harassment or even violence that comes with
attempting to fit the heterosexual paradigm,
even for the holiday period, creating our own
family structure is vital.
Some might argue that anyone can
compartmentalize for a few days out of the
year. But pretending we are someone else for
any length of time is damaging. We need the
succor and support of a network of people
who know us, understand us and welcome us
with love and acceptance. During the holidays,
when it seems like the whole world is being
cosseted in the warm embrace of family, we
need it even more, to fend off the chill of
feeling like social outcasts.
Home for the Holidays
'Tis the season to figure out what family really means.
By Victoria A. Brownworth
Weve all heard it, and even sung it: "There's
no place like home for the holidays:' But for
many queers, feeling like we're "home" can
be as elusive as finding the perfect gift.
Our families of origin are often less than
welcoming; our place in the heterosexual
dynamic is more fraught than fun. The
holidays, rather than imbuing us with that
Rockwellian sense of warmth and conviviality,
often make us feel like the perennial outsider,
standing alone in the cold, observing a
tableau of togetherness to which we will
never be invited.
Many of my friends go home for the
holidays only to end up feeling anger, resentment, unhappiness and loss. One friend
has never been allowed to bring along her
partner, despite their decade-long relationship, because her evangelical family doesn't
accept homosexuals. Another friend brings
his partner of nearly 20 years to all his family
gatherings, but the topic of their relationship is never raised. To his family, he and his
partner are two unmarried bachelors who
share an apartment, not a life.
22 \ curve
Yet, these are relatively benign experiences.
Many queers can't even consider visiting their
families at the holidays because their families
don't accept them at all.
Psychologists assert that the holidays are
among the most stressful times for everyone,
that expectations are often not met and that
many leave disappointed. But for queers, the
holidays are even more of an ordeal. They raise
the specter of what can never be: Parents keep
hoping their child will turn straight, siblings
can't understand why their sister or brother
can't just be "normal;' grandparents, aunts and
uncles wonder how something like this could
happen in their family.
Faced with our families' disappointment
in us, our feelings of isolation and abandonment are magnified, making us feel alone and
unloved at a time when it seems that everyone
else is content.
Like many queers of my generation, I found
that my family did not accept my lesbianism. I
love Christmas, but the holidays were torture.
Years of not speaking to or being in touch
with anyone in my family helped me to find
Thisseason,consider
whetherthattriphomewill
makeyoufeelgoodor bad,
affirmed
or nearlydestroyed.
Considerwhetherthe
peoplewho shareyour
DNAalsoshareyourvalues
andsenseof self.Consider
whether"home"is a
realityor just a word.
The fact is, it's not just queers who create
their own families. The entire heterosexual
world is predicated on creating new families.
Children grow up, marry and have children
of their own. Their new biological family
supersedes the one into which they were born.
~
1.
(!)
~
~
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Bue for queers, to whom marriage is denied in
all but a few states and for whom having or
adopting children can be a difficult prospect,
standing alone against the social construct of
family can be overwhelming.
There are many platitudes about biological
families. We hear that family is the one place
where they have to take you in, but queers know
that's a lie. For us, it is often the place from which
we were first cast out, a primal rejection.
We also hear that you can't go home again.
For many of us that seems far closer to the
truth. Yet for the majority of queers, "home" is
an uncertain middle ground where we are not
actively at war with our biological families and
yet are not fully accepted, either. That middle
ground can be the most isolating place there is.
We have to love our lives to survive in a world
that is fraught with very real and destructive social,
political and personal conflicts. We cannot love
our lives if we do not feel loved and supported.
That's what family is for-to affirm and validate
us. We must realize that sometimes our families
of origin simply cannot or will not provide that
safe and comforting place, that their disappoint~
ment in our being queer supersedes their love for
us. And that disappointment-even
if that is all
it is-is toxic and can make us hate ourselves,
or, at the very least, make us unable to accept
who we are.
I love my lesbian family, the handful of
women who have been with me through the
roughest and the best of times, who are always
there for me, as I am there for them. They are
my heart and have my heart. I would do anything
for them. They are the gift I give myself for the
holidays, and at every other point in the year. I
would be adrift without these women, who are
closer to me than anyone with whom I share
DNA. This season, consider whether that trip
home will make you feel good or bad, affirmed
or nearly destroyed. Consider whether the
people who share your DNA share your values
and your sense of self. Consider whether"home"
is a reality or just a word.
Holidays are for giving. Difficult as it may be
to learn to love ourselves and our lives enough to
do so, we must give ourselves the gift of a family
that accepts us and wants only the best for us. In
the chill of winter, as the year draws to a close,
perhaps we need to ask ourselves what will
warm us to our core. We need to embrace that,
rather than accept, for yet another year, being on
the outside looking in. ■
Marching Toward Equality
RobinMcGehee
(above,center)rocketed
ontothe nationalscenewhenshefounded
Meetin the Middle,a grassrootsmovement
mobilizingCalifornians
to demonstrate
for marriageequalityin Fresno,a town
in the state'sconservative
CentralValley.
McGehee,
an out lesbian,startedthe
movementaftershewasaskedto resign
herpositionas PTApresidentat herson's
Catholicschoolbecauseof herinvolvement
in the campaignagainstProp.8. McGehee
wentonto becomethe NationalCo-Chair
for lastOctober'sNationalEqualityMarch,
whichbroughtpeoplefromacrossthe
countryto Washington
D.C.to demandfull
equalityfor the LGBTcommunity.
oneperson'srightsoveranother.
Whatare the criticalissuesfacingthe
LGBTcommunityrightnow?
I thinkthat the mostcriticalissueis some
of ourowninternalizedhomophobia.
[There's]a hesitationon somepeople's
effortsto actuallyget involvedin what
our movementis workingon in termsof
full equality.I think somepeople[feel]
so comfortablein theirowncommunity
thatthey feellike theyhaveequality.They
don'treallythink aboutall the thingsthat
theydon'thaveequalityin.Theycanown
a home,theycanfeel liketheyhavesafety
in theirjob,theycanbecommittedto their
partnerandliveopenly.Butthey'renot
thinkingaboutthe fact that if theylivedone
Nationwide,
howdo youthinkthe LGBT stateovertheymaynot havethat option...
andnow[if] theylive in [California]
... they
communityis feelingaboutthe fight
don'thavethe right [to get married].
for marriageequality?
I think that peoplearefed up with the
Whatdo youwant to achievewith
fight that seemsto be a piecemeal
the march?
Thegoalis thatthesepeoplecomeback
approach.AndI think that peopleare
gettingto the pointwhereit's like,enough to their communities,
we re-engagethem
is enough.Weare a fabric of this comoncetheyget backhome,andthenwe
munity... as [muchas] our next-door
sayOK,nowyourexpectation
is to create
neighborwho... enjoysequalitythat we're a teamof peoplethat arelobbyingaround
particularlegislationthat we knowalready
still denied.AndI think morepeopleare
beginningto be willingto fight back.I
exists,with the hopethat we'regoing
think thereis a galvanizingof a baseof
to gainenoughmomentumthat somepeoplewho are unwillingto just lookat
one,eithera BarneyFrankor a Tammy
beingacceptedas out as enoughanyBaldwin... writessomethingthat we can
more.Wereallydo wantthe sameequality get behindandlobbyto getthat bill signed,
andwe don't wantto haveto prioritize
a fully inclusivebill. [RachelBeebe]
December 2009
I23
LESBOFILE
Heartbreaksand Heroines
Jodie is single, Katy gets schooled and the Queen likes a good lap dance. By Jocelyn Voo
BreakUp,or BreakIn?
However, the reality show suddenly took an
unexpected twist in April when rumors of
the Gosslin infidelities surfaced. Though they
both denied the allegations, after 10 years of
marriage, the reality couple filed for divorce.
But here's the Sapphic twist: According to
RadarOnline.com, Jon's new gal pal, Hailey
Glassman,
has an ex-girlfriend who claims
Glassman will ruin Jon's life."You are wasting
your time with Hailey. She'll destroy you;'
says Joy Lawlor, who dated Glassman for
three years.
According to Lawlor, Glassman is famehungry, and "anyone, be they male or female,
is a target:'
The two women met through MySpace,
where Glassman indicated that she was a
lesbian student at Indiana University. When
Glassman enrolled in the school, "We became
close and began making out in my apartment.
Soon she told me she loved me:•
However, it quickly became apparent
that Glassman loved other things, too.
TheExFactor
Besides having a strong affinity for cocaine
A little background, m case you're one of and marijuana ( she was later busted on
the few who somehow manages to avoid drug charges), "having one girl clearly wasn't
reality TV and therefore missed out on the enough for Hailey;' Lawlor recounts. "She
Jon & Kate Plus 8 paparazzi frenzy: Jonand kept begging me to have threesomes with
Kate Gosselinare parents of eight young her and another girl:'
kids ( twins and sextuplets) and star in a
Suddenly, this wholesome reality show just
TLC reality show documenting their lives. got a whole lot more interesting.
Rule o. 1 of the on-again, off-again club:
Change the locks. SamanthaRonsonmight
have learned this the hard way because, despite
their latest split, Lindsay
Lohanis still making
house calls.
According to the Sun, Lohan found herself
locked out one night after losing her keys. A
locksmith was called to lee her in. However,
once the locksmith started working on the
door, Lohan did what any enterprising
crazy-girl would do: found an open window
and said, "You know what, sir, we already got
in, thanks. We just broke in. We just found a
way in:' Lohan then refused to pay the locksmith, saying that the man's $300 fee was
unreasonable since he hadn't done anything.
Then, after offering the man a twenty, she
entered Ronson's house without paying the
man at all.
What, Lindsay-your
line of spray-can
not paying the bills?
24
I curve
Bythe Numbers
Forbes released its 2009 Most Influential
Women in Media list, and EllenDeGeneres
snagged the No. 4 spot (after Oprah Winfrey,
Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters). However,
not to be outdone, OnePoll.com released
its Ultimate Lesbian Heroine results, with
bisexual hottie AngelinaJolie claiming the
top spot. Out of the 2,600 lesbians polled,
the Brad Pitt paramour and mother of six
was the clear choice, beating out celebs like
Madonna
( o. 2), MartinaNavratilova
(No. 4),
EllenDeGeneres
( o. 5), AnnieLennox
( o. 8)
and ToriAmos( o. 15).
fi5'
LU
TheKiss-Off
Het singer KatyPerrymight've sung about
kissing a girl and liking it, but the sentiment
isn't the only thing that's false-so, apparendy, was the originality. Singer-songwriter
JillSobulealso wrote a song tided "I Kissed a
Girl" ( though with a different tune and lyrics)
back in 1995. Then, 13 years later, Katy Perry
came out with her song-and claimed that
the name came to her in a dream.
According to The Rumpus.net Sobule is
not a fan. However, Perry's fame wasn't the
catalyst for the hard feelings. Instead, what
irked Sobule was that Perry had written
the song with the same team of writers that
Sobule had used, and that both of them were
a:
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also signed by the same record exec.
So what does Sobule have to say to Perry?
"Fuck you, Katy Perry, you fucking stupid,
maybe 'not good for the gays; title thieving,
haven't heard much else so not quite sure if
you're talented, fucking little slur:'
'Nuff said.
She Said
Ladies'Night
It's long been speculated that Queen
Latifahand
her personal trainer Jeannette Jenkins, with
whom she shares a home, are a romantic item.
However, Latifah has consistently denied the
claims, telling Ebony magazine in 2007, "No
comment on that at all. I'm done commenting
on all that .... It's ridiculous:'
Sure, it'd be ridiculous-except
for the
fact that it keeps coming up. The National
Enquirer reported that Queen Latifah and
some female friends recently enjoyed a night
in with a curvaceous stripper, who treated the
gals to a full-frontal show. In fact, the spectacle got the girls hot enough that some of
them started hooking up with each othernot an uncommon occurrence, according to
the source.
This kinda gives a whole new meaning to
hailing the queen.
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Hollywood
Ending
We love a happy Hollywood ending, and it
looked like we were going to get one out of
JodieFoster
and her partner of 14 years, movie
producer Cydney
Bernard.
After staying mum
on the topic (despite their matching Tiffany's
rings and their two kids, whom Foster birthed
and Bernard adopted), the actor finally publicly acknowledged Bernard as "my beautiful
Cydney" in an awards ceremony speech.
But just five months after the proclamation,
Foster allegedly ended the relationship due to
a series of rows that the couple had, according
to the National Enquirer. Then the tabloid
reported that it was something far juicer-an
affair. Foster had allegedly been seeing TV
writer Cynthia
Mortever since the two had met
on the set of The Brave One two years ago.
The drama did not end there for the twotime Academy Award-winning actor. Mail
Online reports that Mort, following a series of
arguments, moved out and returned to her ex
Amanda
Demme(widow of movie director Ted
Demme)who has also been linked to Lindsay
Lohan.So, are the credits rolling? Ready the
Kleenex, ladies-this one is a tear-jerker. ■
December 2009
I 25
ALEXANDERHAFEMANN
Scenes
from Tahiti:
A picturesque
river and
Tahitian girls
fishing
2s
I curve
OR A LOT OF LESBIANS, fighting for same,sex mar,
riage rights is making a political, albeit abstract, statement.
We know everyone should have that right, and when our
friends want to line up at the altar, we want their relation,
ships to be legally recognized. But I never thought that I
would want to get married. Ever. Until I did.
And it hit me like a truck-a desire to make a commitment
and spend my life with my newfound love, Jenna. Instead of
high tailing it to Iowa or Massachusetts, though, we flew to
the most beautiful place on earth: Tahiti.
The island of Tahiti is the hub of French Polynesia,
which comprises some 118 islands covering an area about
the size of Europe. There are five groups of islands-the
Society Islands, Gambier, the Marquesas, the Tuamotu
Archipelago and the Australes. Governed by France, the
islands have two official languages, Tahitian and French,
but because the main industry in Polynesia is tourism,
many people speak English as well. The farther you get
from the island of Tahiti, though, the more remote it gets
and the less English you hear.
Tahiti is the perfect wedding destination because it's far
enough away to feel like you're really taking break from your
everyday life, but it's still surprisingly easy to get to. Tahiti's
Faa'a International Airport is just an eight,hour flight from
Los Angeles, so if you're starting off from the West Coast
as Jenna and I were, you just have lunch, a movie, a nap and
you' re there.
FEELING THE LOCAL LOVE
Having never been to Tahiti, I had images of Marlon Brando
groping gorgeous Polynesian women dancing in my head and
I feared it would be as touristy as Waikiki, only with a longer
flight. I was happily mistaken. There are no over,developed
beaches, no crowds and very little commercialism. But the
most marked difference is the local people. Everyone is
so flippin' nice, it's like they are really, truly happy. And who
wouldn't be, living in a place with relatively no crime, a high
standard of living and stunningly beautiful vistas everywhere
you look. It seems as though the worst thing the Polynesians
have to put up with are the taxes. Everything for sale is
heavily taxed except staples like rice, sugar and flour. Lunch
usually cost us about $50 for two, and often it was more
like $70. We managed to save some dough by bringing a
big bag of snacks from home and swiping the fruit from the
front desk at the hotel.
Q1JEERING PARADISE
We learned about gay life in Tahiti fairly early. There may be
a gay scene in the capital city of Papeete, but we didn't see it.
That's not to say it isn't a welcoming island for lesbians; we
felt totally accepted and safe throughout our trip. Traditional
Polynesian culture includes a third sex, referred to as the
mahu. These are boys who are born into families with few or
no female children and are therefore raised as
girls. Although not all mahus are gay, there is
a traditional respect for gender flexibility and
an understanding of sexuality as a spectrum.
We got only one dubious look during our trip,
and that was from a European guy in a waytoo-tiny Speedo.
into a bug-free room in the main hotel, where
we slept peacefully. The next day, the hotel
stripped the thatched pandanus-leaf roof off
our bungalow and burned it to eliminate the
problem, and mercifully relocated us to an
equally gorgeous, critter-free, over-water bungalow for the rest of our stay.
SO MANY HIGH POINTS
The highlights of French Polynesia are too
many to list, but they included taking a
thrilling tour of Bora Bora with Miki Miki
Jet Ski; swimming with dolphins on the
island of Moorea; snorkeling with blacktipped sharks, giant clams, eight-foot giant
moray eels and a huge school of snappers in
the coral-ringed lagoon of Rangiroa; opening
coconuts and squeezing the milk directly into
our eager mouths; taking an incredible boat
ride under the stars; and eating poisson cru,
which is raw Tahitian tuna marinated in coconut milk and lime juice. Another highlight:
Tahiti is known for its stunning, unusually
shaped black pearls, which come in a rainbow
of colors-from gold to pink and green to
nearly black-so while we were on Moorea
we bought pearls for every woman in our
lives (and, of course, for ourselves). Spending
a few days on the island of Tahiti to shop and
explore is a must, but not visiting the other
islands is like going to Disneyland and not
leaving the hotel.
THE BIG DAY DAWNS
Jenna and I had our wedding on the island
of Bora Bora. Our traditional Tahitian
commitment ceremony on the beach was
organized entirely by our hotel, the superchic InterContinental Bora Bora Resort and
Thalasso Spa. This eco-friendly hotel has the
nicest rooms either of us has ever stayed in.
On our big day, we were each taken to our
own room and dressed in traditional Tahitian
wedding pareos. Pareos are essentially large
cloths that Polynesians wrap around themselves in a zillion different ways to make
beautiful dresses, wraps, skirts, tops and even
swimsuits. Our wedding pareos were a very
bright white. My dresser wrapped the one
around my waist into a simple skirt, and
worked some magic with a second, creating
a dramatic, shapely top with a strap over one
shoulder and a train down my back. I have
THE ONLY LOW POINT
One of the pleasures of the trip was the
gorgeous, private, over-water bungalow we
stayed in on each island, but, we learned the
hard way that not everything is perfect in
paradise. One night, as we were snuggling
in bed, we noticed a couple of rather large,
tropical cockroaches crawling on our ceiling.
Mind you, these were not the small creepy
insects you find on the mainland. These were
enormous, sumo wrestler-style roaches. We
called housekeeping and when our uninvited
guests had been evicted, we settled in for the
night. Around 2 a.m., though, my badass
butch fi.ance bolted out of bed, frantically
slapping off a giant roach that had crawled
under the covers to snuggle up against her
leg. I screamed, threw the lights on and saw
a small herd of roaches on the walls and
floors-there was even a bug on the toilet
paper. We grabbed a few essentials and fled
Higb[igbts
induoeo
takinga jet skittour1
swimming
witboo[pbins
anosnorkeling
witbb[acktippeosbarks
1 eigbt-foot
mora;9
ee[sanoa buge
scboo[
of snappers.
no idea how she did it, but I've never felt
more gorgeous.
We also wore fresh flowers behind our
ears. Flowers are used like wedding rings in
Tahiti, with a twist. A bloom behind your left
ear means you are taken, behind your right
means you are available. Wearing a flower
behind your ear turned backwards (with the
stem pointing out) means that you are ready
for action (wink, wink). With my pareo in
place and a bloom tucked behind my left ear, I
was met at the back door of our bungalow by
an outrigger canoe that took me to the beach
where the ceremony would be.
SAYING
"I 00"-THE
TAHITIAN
WAY
During the ceremony, we were serenaded by musicians
playing traditional Polynesian love songs and accompanied
by beautiful dancers as well as two boys blowing conch shells.
We received a blessing from a Polynesian priest, exchanged
flower leis and crowns, promised to love and be grateful for
each other and cried big sappy tears of joy.
The priest tied long thick palm leaves around each of our
wrists to symbolize our union, saying, "Ua riro orua ei ho'e,"or,
"The two of you have become one:' We were given fresh coconut punch to drink while we were wrapped in a giant green
and red tifaifaiquilt and treated to another dance.
Finally, we climbed back into the outrigger and returned to
our beautiful room to find a bottle of champagne, a custommade vegan wedding cake and our bed covered with flower
petals. We felt thoroughly spoiled.
Taking the time before our wedding to get away-without
cell phones and email-turned
out to be a really good thing.
Jenna and I were able to completely connect with each other
and focus on the point of our wedding. While we were in
French Polynesia, we wrote our wedding
C
'-
i(
~
V
s
s
fi
vows; planned for another, more formal
'
ceremony to be held with our families,
about a month later in a less tropical locale;
and built up our strength to keep us from
turning into fearful bridezillas as the official big day approached.
Tahiti and her islands were such a gift
to us. There is a Tahitian word we are still
repeating: mauruuru, pronounced "mahroo-roo:• We aren't sure if the intonation is
more like "Scooby Doo'' or "Hey, Boo Boo;'
but we happily butcher it daily. It means
"thank you" and it captures perfectly the way
we feel about our time in Tahiti. ■
t1
n
r
Cozy chairs at the lnterContinental Bora Bora Resort &
Thalasso Spa (top); vegan wedding cake (right); discovering
the bed strewn with petals
GETTING
THERE
WHAT
TODO
We flew with Air Tahiti Nui. (airtahitinui-usa.com)
Tahiti: Shopping at Marche Municipale in
Papeete (marchemunicipal.qc.ca)
WHERE
TOSTAY
Moorea: Moorea Dolphin Center
(mooreadolphincenter.com)
Tah " Le Meridien Tahiti and lnterContinental Resort
(starwoodhotels.com, tahiti.intercontinental.com)
o ea: lnterContinental Moorea Resort & Spa
(moorea.intercontinental.com)
Bo a Bora: lnterContinental Bora Bora Resort &
Thalasso Spa (borabora.intercontinental.com)
Rang1roa: Hotel Kia Ora (hotelkiaora.com)
30
Icurve
Bora Bora: Tahitian wedding ceremony;
snorkeling and spa treatment at Four Seasons
Hotel and Spa; jet ski with Miki Miki
(borabora.intercontinental.com, fourseasons.com/
borabora, boraboraisland.com)
Rangiroa: Diving or snorkeling tours with Hotel
Kia Ora (hotelkiaora.com)
•
I
Short on gift
ideas? Curve's
got you covered
with plenty of
suggestions
guaranteed to
thrill your special
lady-and the
rest of the folks
on your list. Plus,
find out what our
staff hopes to
find under the
tree or by the
menorah this
holiday season.
ph.o
•
er1c
Makeup: Jackie Schneider
Hair: Topher Gross
Styling: Anna Conlan
Models: Liz Dahmen {front, sitting)
and Scout Durwood
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Love
Be-ezlaptopsleeves
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Areyouknownfor beingintheknow?Why
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TheTravelClosetCompanion
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Lesbian
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Eenamaria's
I Mean
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patentnylonbagis
Shusokumb
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Good
A personal
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andyogamatbagsfromlndego
AfricaCrafts,
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"7
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Cuteandcolorful,
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bracelets
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malnourished
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reliefbeads.org)
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Indulge
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Workabroadpackages
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Plus,thebatteryissolar-charged.
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22.WearYourHeartonYourWrist
Thesepopartdesign-statement
watches
letthe
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and
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($18,normalwatches.com)
19.GetSomeHolidayInk
Hasyourladybeenitchingforsomenewskinart?
Then,howabouta giftcertificate
to herfavorite
tattooshop.If you'rein thePortland,
Ore.,area,
we suggest
youbooksometimeat Infinity
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(infinitytattoo.com)
20. PeaceSignNecklace
Lettheworldknowyourvalues-peace,
loveand
23.YouLuckyDog!
style-withAnneWoodman's
Peace
SignNecklace. L.A.queer-owned
company
LuckyDogLeather
isa
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favoriteofcelesbian
Suzanne
Westenhoefer.
These
made-to-order
leatherbelts,bracelets
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21. Bea Chic,Card-Carrying
Lesbian
adda littledykeblingto yourwardrobe.
($26andup,
Retro-a-Go-Go
offerscigarette
caseswithvintage
luckydogleather.com)
images
sureto catchhereye.Fillit withyour
favoritesmokes
or useit asa sexywallet.
24.Prettyas a Picture
Laticoleathers
offersupa sexy,serpent-y,
Keepyourlovedonescloseto yourheart
eel-skincaseforyourbusiness
cards.Giving
withtheTrioof PearlsHarmony
Picture
heryournumber
neverlookedsogood.Classic
FrameNecklace
fromMichele
Baratta.
Hardware
hassomeofthecoolest
products
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withoriginaldesigns
ofsexypin-upgirlsor
25.Colorful
Chonies
adorned
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It'stheperfect
A rainbow
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blackchainwallet.($18andup,retroagogo.com;
lati- Undies
bringcolortherapy
coleathers.com;
classichardware.com,
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drawer
G)
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versions
ofthepantyofthedayfromthe'?Os.
($9,puttinonthebliss.com)
hoinesw, ag
26.Modern
Menorah
ThislovelyModernMenorah
Package
is a fashionforward
takeonthetraditional
Hanukkah
candelabrum
(individual
candleholdersalsoavailable
separately),
andthehempandorganiccottonstockings
in earth
30.AbsolutStyle
tonesarea beautiful
wayto deckyourhalls.($270
MadebyGlassbyErica,thisrecycled
boozebottlemenorah,
$50stockings,
amenityhome.com)
turned-appetizer
trayistheperfectgiftforthestylish
galwhohaseverything.
($40,verdessence.com)
27.Tabletop
Zen
We've
gotsomelovelyladiesbetween
ourpages,but
noneofthemareasbeautiful
astheSorapot.
Made
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32.X-RatedXmas
TrimyourtreewithPornaments
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33.HoldYourLiquor
HulaWobbling
Tumblers
will jiggle,butwon't
spill.Availablein setsof fourwarmor coolcolors,
they'regreatfor holidaypartiesor anyoccasion.
($30,vat19.com)
34.Control
YourRemote
TheRemote
Control
BoxfromKangaroom
is a handy
wayto keepyourremotecontrolin itsplaceanda
goodexcuse
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($25,kangaroomstorage.com)
28.Conversation
Piece
Straight
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Crosley
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35.NeatFreak
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onyourlist,the Gorky
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0
Cf)
~
29.NaturalIllumination
Crash
Candles
aresoycandleswithgraphic
2i designs.
Theylookgreatandthe
~ naturalscentssmellheavenly.Our
~ favesinclude
twig,sandalwood
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crashcandles.com)
[
Cf)
Decembe
2009
I35
bath.&.beauty
•
48.LovelyLotion
Japanese
Quince
HandLotion,
witha double
tassel
around
theneck,isa greatno-wrappingnecessary
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49.JustSayYes!
39.Powder
YourNose
YesToCarrots
products
(liketheCMe
Elizabeth
Arden's
Mineral
Powder's
portable
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LipBlush
Tintandfacialkits)areorganic
compact
isperfect
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40.SexPotAlert!
BareEscentuals'
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36.MakeIt a BeautyHabit
Femmes
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l
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51.AllThatBuzz
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Indulgence
Pamper
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inchocolate,
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single- 52.EarthPolish(notpictured)
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59.A TouchofTastyClass
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these
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60.TimeforTea
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HarvestRoastPumpkinSeedsarenotthe
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64.Kitchen
Queen(notpictured)
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inoinskidspets
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Powerallthosefancy
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Shainsware's
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plasticbracelets
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Treatyourpoochto a healingspatreatment
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Tenpercentoftheproceeds
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71.A HairBallKittyWillLove
Thiswild-haired
cattoywill haveyourfeline
friendjumpingforjoy.($7,westpawdesign.com)
72. CanYouHandlethe Heat?
Thekitchenjust gota wholelot
hotterthanksto Carolyn,
who
offersan arrayof vintageinspiredaprons,glovesand
gartersets.TheSafariSo
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carolyns-kitchenonline.com)
74.LiteandBright
Illuminate
theholidays
withtheICONRogueLED
flashlights,
perfectly
portable
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December 2009
I41
hatmadeyoudecideto goto rehab?
I definitely saw my life flying out of control. It wasn't my fault,
but I was kind of thrown into a life I wasn't used to at all-and
was trying to stay away from for a lot of years. I went through
the whole, "Who do I trust, who are my real friendst A lot
of people selling stories and a lot of people walking out of my
life. And the worst part was my family walking away from me.
When they walked out of my life-because my father didn't
agree with my lifestyle, I guess you could say-I kept spiraling
[out) of control, like, further and further, and it came to the
breaking point when I got cut off. I know they talk about tough
love,but it doesn't always work so well, you know:1People think
money is so amazing and you can do everything with it, but I'm
here to say that money does not buy you happiness.
a t •
Well, I think it was the whole press thing, when my father's
name is being brought into it. He's a businessman, you don't
see him and what he does in his personal life in the press.
When your father is a rock star or your mom's an actress,
it's a whole different type of nepotism. When your father is
a businessman, he doesn't want to be reading about all of my
little scandals that are going on. But, at the same time, neither did I. I imagined myself coming out in Variety or the
Hollywood Reporter, not as [just someone's) girlfriend. He
didn't ever want that for me.
have o
s witha arainof salt.
Exactly. I did Cattle Drive, one, for charity and two, because
I wanted to break away from being Terry Semel's daughter.
Bur once I saw what was going on with my friends and the
paparazzi, I just didn't understand how they dealt with it.
E
iall
o
s
Yeah, like Perez Hilton wrote about me and put [up) a picture,"Separated at Birth;' and it was me and Amy Winehouse
and-not to be rude about her or anything-but ... it really
hurt. Then I kind of got over it and ... I dressed up as Amy
Winehouse for Halloween, and it was like, "Thanks, Perez,
for my Halloween costume." That's kind of my way of saying, "Say what you want to say, but you're not going to affect
me anymore:'
OUthm
ng ?
Yeah, I guess I am known for having some serious anger issues.
But you can't always believe what you read, and the interesting thing about me is, I didn't have anyone on my defense. I
just kept reading and reading, and I didn't have a publicist,
I didn't have anyone to stick up for me. So, it was just me
sitting around reading stuff about me and, at the same rime,
having my father get more and more furious about these little
antics. So, I'm not really an angry person. I'm not. I just was
dealing with a lot in my life.
ouldI
g
r
And that's were Tila comes in. She was my best friend.
She was the only person who could understand what I was
going through.
According
to thegossipbiogsyou'vesleptwithallthemost
beautiful
womenin Hollywood
andeveryone-even
womenwho
ar,n esbi -wan
b 1,11• yo
I chink you fall in love with the person, and I always did look
for the best friend that you can do everything with-from
lunching to waxing. And I guess-let's just say, yeah, I guess
I'm kind of blessed. I don't know if you should believe every~
thing you read bur ... I'd like to say that I'm kind of like the
Don Juan of the lesbian world.
you,I wonderif thereisn'tjust
I can't even have a best friend because I guess I'm going to be
linked with them next. I read Brittny Gastineau and I may be
dating now, and Brittny is as straight as they come. So, I guess
I'm going to have to stick with my gay BFF in public, right:' I
would like to say that Lindsay and I would make a really hot
couple but, unfortunately, we were best friends and the media
kind of ruined that friendship.
Theme· a rnedit mto rela10nhip?
Let's put it this way, it's kind oflike another one of... my little
frenemies out there was protecting their own self and their
own relationship and threw us under the bus. But, for me,
it was like, I would go to an event and they would start to
say,"So, you and Lindsay aren't friends anymore;' and I'm like,
"Oh, really:'That's news to me:•
w
bigrep
cameoutafterward
andsaid
"I wasLindsay
Lohan's
firstlesbianloverandSamantha
Ronson
olehera ayfromm hile h wa ·n hab"
Yeah,I heard about that. And to be honesc ... none of that was
actually true. They didn't even get my age right. So it's just
been hard. I do want to be a voice for teens and it's hard, espe~
cially not having my own voice this past year, which is why I
want to set the record straight on a lot of things.
I t ruetha y
!ded ri H lton.
That would be false.
Howaboutyourrelat1onsh·p
withTilaTe uila?
We did have a really fun relationship; she was with me during
a time when I really had no one.
Wasthata loverelatioship.
Yes,it was.
W yd1 1 en
You know, people kind of go their separate ways.
You'e ba, oge er ithCa y John n o I h
?
Look, I have a tattoo on my arm that says,"Love is friendship
sec on fire"... we actually got chem together. She's the love of
my life.
Professionally
wha doyouconsider
yourself?
I think I'm a mini~mogul. .. a medium~mogul's spawn.
Wheredoyou an you car e o go?W o yo antto be?
I want to be the next Oprah, if chat's possible. I really want to
dedicate my life to helping teens. I always said you'll never see
me get a DUI, you'll never see me falling drunk out of a club,
you'll never see me get arrested, you'll never see that side of
me and, unfortunately, it did happen. I did take responsibility
for my actions ... but, at the same time, I chink, you know,
everyone scrutinizes Lindsay for everything she went through,
but they should thank her, because it shows you exactly what
not do to and how to get through it.
I wrote a book ... called Adolescent University and it is
basically my struggles through all adolescent issues and teen
issues that you go through. So, it's like the Go Ask Alice for
this generation. It's very real. It's very raw. It's straight out of
my diary. As for helping teens and stuff, I'm doing an advice
column with Hollyscoop which is called "Hey, Courtenay;' and
it's basically "ask me anything:'
Ae
p paredfortoughque tionsaboutthingslike xu lity?
There isn't a place or a person out there who is willing to be
honest about everything you're going through, and I wish I('d]
had someone co talk to chat was young and cool. It's like when
you're in school-you're not really listening to the teachers
when they're talking to you, but, say I walked in and told you
my story, you're going to listen way more. I'm ready. It's like,
"Bring it on, any question:'
Hollywood's Most Wanted continued on page 63
December 2009
I 45
-ACHE
ft
HEATHER THORSBY LONG DREAMED OF
0
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5
(t
moving to California. A talented artist, the 36-year-old
native Tennessean had had a long career as a teacher, first
at an elementary school, then a high school, all while maintaining a gallery in downtown Franklin, Tenn.
Despite her success, she yearned for a change of scenerya place with different politics and more openness, where she
could be more creative with her art. In 2006, she began making plans to enroll in a master's program at San Francisco's
Academy of Art University. Just out of a five-year relationship, Thorsby was ready to move.
"I needed a change;' she said. "I wanted to dream big. So
I started researching schools for my senior students and for
myself' Not only was she accepted, but she also helped one
of her high school students to apply. That girl was accepted
and received a scholarship to Academy of Art University.
Thorsby and her then-17-year-old student, Ashley*, whom
she had mentored in art and coached in softball for the past
three years, had become good friends. Thorsby was fond of
Ashley's family, as well. It was not uncommon for the student
and the teacher to visit each other's homes.
So when they both got accepted into art school in
California, the two women planned to go together-"live it
up in California and become successful in our art careers;'
says Thorsby.
But their relationship took a different turn later that year
when friendship became romance. Though there had been
sexual tension between the two, 1l1orsby says she resisted
acting on it, and that it was Ashley who made the first move.
Thorsby says she never hid the fact that she was a lesbian
from Ashley's family; if the girl's parents suspected something was going on they never mentioned it, and she insists
that Ashley's mother even went so far as to encourage them
to live together in San Francisco.
The trouble began when Ashley's mother found explicit
text messages between the two, and confronted them. Even
though Ashley was 18 at the time, she was still a student,
and she and Thorsby confessed that their affair began when
Ashley was still 17. At first, according to Thorsby, Ashley's
parents did not report the affair, but they did cut off contact
between the two and said they would not allow Ashley to
move with her to San Francisco. (Ashley herself was unresponsive to interview requests at press time.)
It seemed like the dust had settled when, two weeks before
graduation, Ashley's parents reported the affair co the principal (who could not be reached for comment at press time).
From there the case went to the Williamson County District
Attorney's office. Thorsby was suspended from teaching,
arrested and indicted in November 2007 on seven criminal
counts, including three charges of statutory rape.
*Namechangedfor privacy
,A r.. r:v--.
Al\//'".
-rr)
11rr.
Thorsby's story is not unusual. Portland, Ore:s mayor, Sam
Adams, an out gay man, has been mired in controversy since
it was discovered that he had a relationship with a protege who
was, depending on whom you ask, 17 or 18 at the time. And,
Badbadteacher.com reports almost daily on alleged misconduct between teachers and students, while the consummate
web site WorldNetDaily has an exhaustive list of women like
Thorsby, female teachers who are being accused of inappropriate and illegal relationships with female students.
Twenty-eight-year-old high school physical education
teacher Erica Umosella of New Jersey pled guilty to charges
of official misconduct in 2008, despite what appeared co be a
consensual,month-long relationship with a 17-year-old girl.
In 2007, Jaymee Lane Wallace of Tampa, Fla., a high
school math teacher and coach, was sentenced to three years in
prison after it was revealed that she carried on an 19-month
affair with a then-15-year-old girl between 2002 and 2004.
Abigail Holloway, a teacher at St. Mary's Academy in
Englewood, Colo., was arrested in March for allegedly having a
long-term affair with a female student who is now in college.
Twenty-eight-year-old English teacher Chrissy Hisey was
arrested in Murrieta, Calif., last year for an affair she had
with a 17-year-old girl. The relationship reportedly began as
a friendship and then developed into a sexual one.
And, in perhaps one of the oddest cases, Elizabeth
Miklosovic of Grand Rapids, Mich., pleaded no contest in
2005 to the sexual assault of a 14-year-old girl she claims to
have married in a pagan ritual the year before.
n,-ppc
-r,
r::::r>nNf
,HE
1-f
An/
IN
s
The bizarre cases might make for easy headlines, but lesbians
often feel conflicted by the more nuanced cases, like those
of Thorsby or Helen Goddard. Goddard, a British music teacher and former child prodigy who performed at the
opening ceremonies of the 2000 Olympics, received jail time
for her lesbian relationship with a 15-year old student, which
included a romantic getaway to Paris. An anonymous tip led
co a raid of Goddard's house in Greenwich, England, where
police found the duo, seized their sex coys ( including "fluffy
handcuffs") and confiscated the teen's cell phone, which included a message from Goddard that read, "I love you. You
were on my mind all night:'
Goddard admitted to the affair, but both she and the
student claimed that the 26-year-old woman was pressured
into the affair; according to news reports, the prep-school
teen told her mom she had kissed Goddard first and now
feels guilty about the woman's conviction.
The larger surprise is that while Goddard went to jail,
December 2009
I4 7
was banned from working with kids and must
now register as a sex
offender, the judge
ruled that preventing
the couple from continuing their relationship would be
"unnecessary, unkind and cruel to
the victim:• Unlike
most perpetrators, Goddard
will be able to write to the girl
from prison and will be able to see her privately when she is
released
from jail. The girl will be at least 16 by then, the age
"f"' fl.ie h.a.ck
of consent in the United Kingdom. When the judge handed
o:: """'1 """i"'d,
down the verdict, Goddard reportedly did a triumphant fist
I dvess
f jvsf
pump in the air.
kepf fl.ii"'ki"'J
Women account for less than 10 percent of all sex offenfl.i.a.f """.a.theders, according to the most recent figures from the U.S.
1
Department of Justice. \Vhile it is possible that more cases like
fl.ie'1 II pvsli
these are coming to light, it seems as though the media takes a
vs ovf or
greater interest in reporting on women who carry out their af1
""1.a.'fhe +l,e'1 II
fairs with girls, often including sensational headlines and lurid
""1.a.ke vs .a. details. In fact, of the 479 cases of sexual assault by teachers
de.a.I or ""1.a.'fhe in 2008, female to female assaults accounted for less than 13
percent, according to U.S. Department of Education.
flie1'II
re.a.li2-e,
In its 2004 report, Educator Sexual 1\tfisconduct,
several dif'1ov k"'o~
ferent research studies "failed to find a consistent connection
+li.a.+if' S 11"\0f between sexual identification or sexual orientation label and
\A/ortli .a.II child sexual abuse:' What's that mean? Of the male teachers
having sex with male students, almost none identified as gay.
o.(: fl.iis."
And in the case of women, the report was murky because,
while the media likes to sensationalize cases like Thorsby's,
female-to-female assault is much rarer.
There are certainly cases of female-female rape, assault and
battery. Indeed, of the anacks by women, roughly 63 percent
of those were against girls. But frequently, the lines between
teacher and student, adult and young adult, consent and legal
consent get blurry, especially in an era when teens are sexually active and, according to the GLSE , many lesbian and
bisexual female adolescents now become aware of their sexual
orientation between 8 and 11 years old.
"I know there is an obvious age difference, but that is not
uncommon or by any means unrealistic in our eyes;• says
Thorsby. "We have openly discussed it many times and it's
not our issue. It seems to be everyone else's:•
Since her arrest, Thorsby has been depressed, but no less
defiant, and, believing all is fair in love, she hasn't shirked from
telling her story.
"I felt as if my heart was ripped in two, from disappointing
my family, my coworkers, my students, their parents and her
family;• Thorsby admitted on her arrest. 'Tve totally embarrassed my family.... Not to mention, it's torture every day
when we can't see each other:'
48
Icurve
HOT FC>k TEAC E:.Q
American culture has a double standard when it comes to
teacher-student relationships, consent laws and age differences.
Van Halen's song"Hot for Teacher;' sung from the perspective
of a young boy lusting after his, well, hot teacher, was a huge
hit in the 1980s (and still is in strip dubs across the country).
One of the most popular Halloween costumes is a naughty
schoolgirl, which presumably plays on the public's obsession
with the taboo. And let's not forget the 2006 indie lesbian film
LovingAnnabelle.In the film-a pretty big, albeit controversial,
hit that offered up a contemporary take on the 1931 German
classic Miidchen in Uniform-teenage vixen Annabelle falls in
love with her teacher, Miss Bradley and the two have an affair.
While it ends in Miss Bradley's arrest, the film does portray
their relationship in a positive light, a contradiction to the laws
that would paint all the Miss Bradleys as pedophiles. And, just
as Thorsby claims Ashley did, and Goddard claims her student did, Annabelle makes the first move.
Media and sociocultural institutions aside, consent laws
create even murkier waters. Underscoring the hypocrisy,
the age of consent for boys in some states (Indiana, Iowa,
Arkansas) is as low as 14; and in some countries it's as low as
12. The age of consent for girls in the United States, though,
is 16 in most states, 18 in several. Famous teens, from Miley
Cyrus to Jamie Lynn Spears to the Olsen twins, often have
highly public relationships with older men, despite being
under the age of consent. Though the public thirsts for their
stories in the tabloids, in "real life;•far away from Hollywood's
glow, the relationships between ordinary teens and their
adult lovers usually cause greater concern, leaving some teen
lesbians to question the hypocrisy of what they see.
NO 1-fAPPf ENPtN6
"I am sorry and I apologized for my lack of judgment and
control," says Thorsby. "I crossed a line and I am sorry, but we
just want to move on with our lives:•
Thorsby's lack of judgment has cost her. A year after the
charges were first filed, she pied guilty to three counts of statutory rape and two counts of sexual battery by an authority
figure. Today, though, Thorsby maintains her innocence.
"I did not rape anybody;· she says. "I did not initiate the
physical [contact] but eventually I did consent:' Thorsby continues to insist that she and Ashley fell in love. Admittedly, they
had bad timing, but she questions, Isn't love supposed to win?
According to the state of Tennessee, no. After a lengqiy legal
battle, much heartache and stress, and a guilty plea, Thorsby is
now serving three years in prison.
She still remembers the week she was indicted. "Everything
was just on hold. I had just started catching my breath and
getting back on track. And when I saw my face in the papers
and on the news again, that wasn't good. So that was pretty
hard to swallow. And in the back of my mind, I guess I just
kept thinking that maybe they'll push us out or maybe they'll
make us a deal or maybe they'll realize, you know, that it's not
worth all of this. But I guess they didn't:' ■
thenter
A Butch
of All Trades
Catching up with comic actor turned jazz musician Lea Delaria. By Bree Clarke
As one of the first openly gay comics to appear
on television (The ArsenioHall Showin 1993),
Lea DeLaria is known for her in-your-face
politicallyincorrect comedy, and she's become
a household name thanks to her TV roles
in shows ranging from Matlock and The
Oblongs
to Will and Graceand Law and
OrderSVU, as well as her recent role as
Madame Delphina on One Life to Live.
Her turns on the big screen, including
the highly acclaimed Edge of Seventeen,
introduced DeLaria to a larger audience,
whileher Broadway gigs made the boisterous butch well-known to the theater
crowd.DeLaria, an established musician,
is currently on a world tour to promote
her third jazz album, SmokeSessions.
that to their faces.I love going to gay bars there
because I have never felt thinner. I feel like the
thinnest, handsomest butch in the world.
Youhavespanned
thefullperformance
spectrumin yourcareer.Is thereonegenrethat
bestreflectswhoyouare?
Howdidyourroleas MadameDelphina
onOneLifetoLivecometo be?
I started on OneLife to Live 10 years ago.
I channeled [Dorian's) husband and we
made out. At the time-and
this will
probably get me in trouble- I think it
freaked ABC out a little bit and they
didn't put a lot of oomph behind it. It
was, like, a year later when (the media]
was, like, "The first lesbian kiss on daytime television;' and I was like, "Uh,
no, it's not:' Madame Delphina is really
well-liked. [They] write me the funniest
What I enjoy the most is the jazz. That's on a
shit-I mean, it's daytime, and it's funny.
more artistic level. I love the Broadway stuff,
Whatwasit liketo goto thePridefestivalin
though. I love being center stage and belting
yourhometown
of Belleville,
Ill.?
Oh, my God! Can you believe they have a a D sharp and watching everyone (look]
gay Pride in the town I grew up in? All these shocked that it came out of me. That's what's
most fun about it, just challenging people's
people I went to grade school with were there.
It was fucking hilarious. I fucking loved it. Of stereotypes. I am the personification of "don't
course, as soon as they hired me, they got a judge a book by its cover:'
Smoke
Sessions
putsa newspinonclassics.
call from the mayor's office because he was
Areyoutryingto introduce
jazzto a newgenconcerned about what I would say. Even in
eration
of
listeners?
my hometown, my reputation preceded me.
That's totally the idea with what I've done in
Youhave to understand how awesome it was.
the past. It's brought a whole new group of
All these hick queers-there's no other way
young people to my audience-young gay
to call thempeople, which is great, too.
Don'tworry,I won'twrite"hickqueers."
Didyoualwayswantto bea performer?
Oh, you can put it in there. I was calling them
Yes. I was singing into the hairbrush and the
vacuum, putting on shows. I went to college
for about a minute and then I moved to San
Francisco to pursue my stand-up career.
Didyoueverhaveanydoubts?
I was too young to have any doubts.
Wastherea backlash?
Yes! I had so much backlash in the
beginning.
Howdidyoukeepgoing?
I was just filled with rage, this little
punk-ass dyke ... with my shaved head
and my safety pins.
Anda chainwallet?
See, chain wallets hadn't come in yet.
But I had the boots. I was one mad
mutha-fucka. And I didn't really fit
in the scene that was prevalent in
San Francisco at the time. I was like
nothing they'd ever seen. The more
they criticized me, the worse I got. I
was hard for them to take.
Youprobably
saida lotof things
peoplewantedto say,butcouldn't.
That's what people say in the letters I
get, that I say what they wanted to say
but never had the guts to.
YouareonFacebook,
MySpace
andall
overYouTube.
Doyoutweet?
No, I don't. It's too much. Sandy
(Sandra Bernhard) is all over me to
Twitter. They're all on me. My manager's like,
"You've got to Twitter:' And I'm like, "I don't
got to do nothin';' you know? When do I have
time to write if I'm doing all this crap? I need
to be creating. You Twitter for me, honey! You
go Twitter away, baby.
What'splayingonyouriPod?
Now the iPod, I love. I'm listening to a band
called the Presets from Australia. I heard
them while I was down there touring. They
fucking blew me away.
Whatdoyouhaveonthehorizon?
The next thing I'm working on is called The
Dirty Martinis, which is a very campy, fun,
showbiz, jazz thing ... hopefully to open in the
Spring at Joe's Pub in NYC. ■
Encore. Encore!
We round up 1O great LGBT shows that have come and gone.
NoneoftheAbove
Watching Jennifer Lanier
on stage performing her
one-person show, it's easy to
imagine her having multiple
personalities-even more of
them than her two-spirit identity might suggest. Without the advantages of makeup or
costume changes, Lanier literally transforms
on stage, completely embodying a parade of
characters that range from her child-self to her
military father, known only as the Colonel.
Lanier, a Vancouver, Wash. lesbian also
known as Bruce the Drag King, is a classically trained actor whose most notable
gig was a four-year stint replacing Sally
Struthers as spokesperson for the Christian
Children's Fund.
Her play, None of the Above, is a lovely
historical exploration of race, gender and
sexuality in America and her own journey through childhood in the south. As a
tomboy who developed crushes on girls,
Lanier was acutely aware of her differences.
But it wasn't until Lanier was an adult that
she discovered why her hair was straighter
or why her skin was lighter than the other
African American children.
Rather than providing clarity, the knowledge of her mixed-race heritage pushed Lanier
farther outside the boxes and onto a journey of
self-discovery. None of the Above is the result.
It's a remarkable performance that burrows
into your brain and ruminates there for days.
A Beautiful
View
There is a lot to like about A Beautiful View,
which opened to a sold-out audience at San
Francisco's Theatre Rhinoceros. The play,
written by Daniel Macivor and directed by
Cristina Alicea, focuses exclusively on the
complex love relationship between two
women, including the lovable basketcase
Mitch, played by Jeanette Harrison. The
play follows the women through the ups and
downs of their 20s and early 30s, including
many questionable relationships, job opportunities, ukulele bands and camping trips. The
characters in A Beautiful View are frustrating,
emotionally tangled and totally authentic.
They also have a lot of fun. Don't be put off
by the fact that the play was written by a man.
Except for his penchant for feeding his lesbian
characters to large carnivores, Macivor has the
sensibilities of a damn fine woman.
TheNakedI:
Since it premiered
at Smith College in
2003, The Naked I:
Monologues From
Beyond the Binary
has been hailed as
"the transgender Vagina Monologues:' This
Eve Ensler-inspired play challenges societal conventions of gender and the body
through 18 monologues, duologues and
short sketches that recount the experiences of differently gendered people. Like
Ensler's play, the stories range from heartbreaking to hilarious. The award-winning
transgender playwright Tobias K. Davis
recently brought his show to a continually
sold out house at the Bedlam Theatre in
Minneapolis. This show helps put the spotlight on a community rarely seen in theater.
As one young FTM audience member wrote,
"I saw myself on that stage. I barely see myself
in the mirror:'
Bitch!Dyke!Faghag!Whore!
Creator and performance artist Penny Arcade
and a crew oflocally cast erotic dancers combine fresh adult entertainment and "political
humanism" in Bitch!Dyke!Faghag!Whore!, a
show as comedic, radical and joyously profane
as its name. Originally born out of the culture
wars of the '90s around sex and censorship,
B!D!F!W! continues to be ahead of its time,
with a queer message of unity and freedom of
expression that is crucial now, more than ever.
With a history of successful runs in 22 cities
internationally, B!D!F!W! just ended its stint
in San Francisco, and plans are underway for
a highly anticipated U.S. tour.
HeddaGabler
Mauckingbird
TheatreCo.,
It's a classic story-a
woman
trapped in a less than desirable
marriage is dissatisfied with
the life she's chosen, until her
true love walks back into the picture and
debauchery ensues. Only this time, said true
love comes in female form. Caroline Kava's
explosive new adaptation of Ibsen's classic
Hedda Gabler brings the question of sexuality
to the front of the playbill. Hedda (Jennie
Eisenhower) weds aspiring academic George
Tesman out of boredom, returning from
her honeymoon to find that her hubby's
rival, Miss Eilert Lovborg (Sarah Sanford),
has returned. Jealousy over Lovborg's ability to
love women openly and freely drives Hedda
to destroy the lives of those around her-as
well as her own. Kava's adaptation gives
5
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audiences a chance to see this classic play
as never before.
Babe:
AnOlympian
Musical
Scottsdale
Centerf
erforming
Arts,
Beforethere was Martina Navratilova, there
wasBabe Didriksen, a queer female athlete in
the 1940s who challenged the gendered bias
of professional athletics. Despite the social
obstacles of her gender, sexuality and class,
Babewent on co win three Olympic medals
and helped found the Ladies Professional
Golf Association. Babe: An Olympian
Musical celebrates this athletic pioneer's
accomplished life with a "big, brassy" ( read:
butch) cast. Striving to "do for theatre what
Babe did for sports: break the gender line;•
playwright-lyricist Carolyn
Gage and composer Andrea
Jill Higgins have collaborated to create the first
ever mainstream musical
featuring a leading masculine woman with a lesbian
loveinterest. Concert readings in Arizona and
Minneapoliswere hits; Gage is currently looking
fora home for her groundbreaking play.
Dykes
onMies
For a doubled-over theater experience, catch
er a performance of Dykes on Mies. Produced
~ by two New York-based comedians, Leah
a:
~ Dubie and Amy Beckerman, Dykes features
~ rotating queer (and queer-friendly) stand-up
ffi acts and has made a side-splitting impact
g on the Northeast comedy scene since its
~ November '07 launch. Past Dykes performers
~
Q also seen on LOGO and Comedy Central
~ include Gloria Bigelow, Jackie Monahan,
~ Margaret Cho's tour-mate Ian Harvie, Brad
~ Loekle and Diana Yanez. These performers
~ were featured in the LOGO documentary
Q.
~ Out in the City and bared all for the cause
t
~
a:
~
(!)
~
2
~
(if
ID
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(/)
~
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it
I:
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(/)
during their topless comedy benefit, Generosititties, which raised money for breast cancer
research in 2008.
V-Love
Hu
V-Love is a virtual kitchen sink theater production, complete with singing, dancing,
burlesque, beat-boxing and spoken word.
Billed as a "multimedia cabaret;' this play
tells the tale of six women who "sing, dance
and talk their way through some sticky situations:• Among the cast of characters is Dr.
Gorgeous, a sex columnist and housewife
who moonlights as a stripper and Miss North
Dakota, a dirty-mouthed debutante who
MCs the show. Written by Lucille Scout and
starring burlesque icon Dr. Lucky and sexy
actress Glenys Javier, V-Love had audiences
swaying in their seats, tapping their toes and
even participating in the action.
NeverAfter
Behold a tale of woe and adventure for a fatedfrom-birth lesbian. Written and composed by
Colleen Campbell, Never After: Not Your
Grandmother's Fairytale Musical is the story
of Princess Lesley Ann (Cheryl Bellows), a
damsel who's not too keen on princess life in
the kingdom of Generica. A tale of self-discovery complete with dragons to battle and
unexpected love to conquer, Never After truly
is a far cry from your classic bedtime story.
Dykeotomy
forSexandCulture,
Kimberly Dark is a professor, poet, performer and
self-described "pop-socialise:•
Her most recent one-woman
show, Dykeotomy, spins a
poetic tale of modern gender
confusion. Told in highly crafted, and often
hilarious, narratives, Dykeotomy tackles everything from awkward strap-on sex to tales of her
own dating life. But the performance isn't just
about dildos and dating, Dark's academic
side comes through with explorations of biology and gender. If you're looking for a comedic
but cerebral play, Dykeotomy will fit the playbill. [JacobAnderson-Minshall,
Kimberly
Bale,
BrianaHernandez,
SassafrasLowrey,Heather
Robinson,
KristinA.Smith,YanaTallon-Hicks] ■
Breaking Gender
on Stage
The Spotlight
Shines on Cohn
The playwright-cum-advice columnist
Ms. Behavior dishes. By Kelsey Chauvin
Meryl Cohn has a dual personality: She writes award-winning plays
performed for sold-out audiences and dishes out advice under the guise
of her alter ego, Ms. Behavior. Her most recent play, And Sophie Comes
Too, stood out at the New York Fringe Festival for its saucy peek into
the dysfunctional lives of three sisters-replete with sexual trysts, gender
bending and a comatose mother. Meanwhile, her alter ego's syndicated
advice column and book, Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior's Guide to Gay and
Lesbian Etiquette, remains a font of wisdom for those who appreciate wise
counsel laced with sass.
Issues of gender identity are coming to the fore in the theater
thanks to the work of two powerful trans writers and performers, Scott Turner Schofield and Kestryl Cael. Drawing
on their own experience as trans men, these two produce work
that places trans issues center stage.
As a woman, Schofield was a debutante-almost
a homecoming queen. Schofield grew up in the South and learned the
virtues of grace and charm. As a senior in college, Schofield
set out to "tell a story that [he] wasn't seeing told:' Since
then, he has completed a performance trilogy that includes
Underground Transit, Debutante Balls and his latest, a one-man
show, Becoming a Man in 127 EASY Steps. Schofield says the
core of his performance is "about storytelling. Once you get
that, everybody sees the humanity in each person:'
As a freelance theater critic and community activist, Cael
utilizes his art in the "pursuit of his own masculinity:' Cael
hopes his one-man show XY(T), a combination of ethnography and autobiography, will give his audience the
opportunity to explore gender in ways they hadn't considered
before. "I want them to think critically. I want to help them
find more questions;' says Cael. According to him, "Life is a
series of transitions, none of which ever fully end:'
Both artists are working on new pieces. Schofield will use
grant funding to develop a piece that presents underground art
created during the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s and explores
the financial difficulties of being an artist today. Cael's next
piece, entitled 348, will expose the world of forced institutionalization based on his own experience at a lockdown facility
where he "hardly went outside for seven months:'
We look forward to seeing more provocative art from both
of these stellar performers. [Frances
Yee)
) Readexclusiveinterviewswith SchofieldandCaelat curvemag.com
Whatthemesdidyousetoutto explorewithAndSophieComesToo?
Some playwrights start with a theme in mind, but I usually begin with
characters or relationships. In the case of Sophie, I started writing a short
comedy about three very opinionated sisters trying to decide how to take
responsibility for their mother. I grew fond of the characters and didn't
want to let them go, so I decided to develop it into a full-length play. The
theme of And Sophie Comes Too is transitioning. Each of its three sisters ...
[is] at a turning point in life when a crisis arises that isn't very convenient.
Ultimately, the play is about waking up-both
literally and metaphorically-and becoming fully conscious.
Theplayexplores
lesbian,
transandqueerissues.Doyouthinkit alsoappeals
to non-queer
audiences?
And Sophie Comes Too explores universal issues and family relationships that
everyone can relate to. Of the three sisters, one is straight, one is gay and one
is trans. All three are engaged in their own very vibrant lives while having
to deal with their mother. Many of the issues in the play-growing older,
becoming yourself despite the expectations of others, sibling rivalry, belonging even when you feel different-are universal.
What'snextforyou?
I've just written my first rock comedy musical, called Insatiable Hunger,
which will star Lea DeLaria and is being produced
this October in Provincetown. I was blessed
with wonderful musical collaborators,
Billy Hough and Sue Goldberg, who
are very talented musicians based in
Massachusetts.
Howhasyourexperience
assassy
advicecolumnist
Ms.Behavior
affected
yourplaywriting?
It's actually not a great leap for me
to go from advice columnist to
playwright. As Ms. Behavior, I primarily write about relationships.
Whether the question is about
sandwiches, neighbors, sex toys or
thwarted love, there's nearly always a
relationship issue at stake. Of course her
playsare all about relationships. When someoneasksfor advice, they often don't know what
theywant, which means I have to think about
that question, too. When you're writing a play,
youhaveto know what each of your characters
wants.It's a very similar mindset.
I need
someadvice.
Howshouldanaverage
theatergoer
congratulate
artistsaftera show?
What
if shehatedtheplay?
If you like a show and are inclined to congratulate artists, don't be shy-do it. If you
Let's Get
Naked
f
~
~
I
~
~
!!;
Fiercely sexy theater maven Odalys Nanin
has long been lusted after by L.A:s lesbians,
but now the rest of us are falling in love with
the Cuban playwright as well. Between being
the first lesbian ever to produce the long-running off-Broadway musical revue Naked Boys
Singing, and writing and directing her new
play,Naked in the Tropics, which premieres in
January,Nanin has had a very busy year. She
took a break from all the madness to give us
the lowdown on everything Naked.
Get a
feel awkward because you
sneakpe
didn't care for the show, but
at And So
ComesTc
feel obligated to say something-when
an artist is
standing right in your path, for
example-try to come up with
something specific you liked about the show.
If you really hated the show, you may have to
dig deep and change the subject. For example,
"I really liked the lead actor's blonde wig. Do
you know where I can get one like that?" ■
Whatisyournewplayabout?
and it's going to be outlined this way and I'm
Naked in the Tropics is about this young going to write this in. I don't write like that. I
17-year-old who wants to be a dancer, and don't believe in that. I believe in channeling
he gets misguided by this ... dealer who gets the voices of the characters in the story and
him addicted to crystal meth. However, his letting them talk as they come. I think when
mother-who is a lesbian who just came I write my plays I like to entertain the audiout-is oblivious to his life. He's living a ence, but I also like to enlighten them, educate
double life in a way, and what happens is the them and bring certain themes that they are
play is going to explore-because he does get not very familiar with.
busted-[ to] what extent a mother's love can Is thereanyof yourownstoryin thisplay?
Well, like Ernest Hemingway said, "good
sacrifice everything for her son.
Sounds
likea greatdealofsocialcommentary. writing is true writing:' He meant that it
It's going to expose certain things that are comes from an inner experience of the writer.
I have dramatic license and freedom, and I
happening that most people don't know
about. Also, it's going to expose and explore create my story. It's not based on reality, but
the situation of our teens in America ... how it's kind of based on experience of certain
they get so easily misguided and fall prey to things that I've seen and that I've had contact
with. So it comes from chat.
this kind of con artist.
Doyouthinkqueerteensaremoreeasilymisled Canyougiveusa littletasteof whatNakedin
is goingto belike?
because
theyalready
feelsooutofplaceintheir theTropics
You're
sitting
in the theater. The first opening
highschool
orcollege?
scene
is
at
the
club (The Tropics] and this
Oh yeah, definitely. That's why I have him
young
boy
is
going
to come down from a
living a double life, because there's a side
rope
from
the
ceiling
and a spotlight will
of him that wants to do good, because his
be
on
him.
There
will
be very dramatic
mother immigrated to this country so he can
Amazonic
music,
and
he
will
be naked except
go to college.So he's top of the class•••but he
for
wearing
a
deer
mask,
and
then there will
has this underneath thing happening where
be
a
roar
of
a
lion
and
then
this
other charhe's unsure of his sexuality,which a lot of teens
acter,
who
is
an
African
American
character,
go through, and so he's kind of experimenting.
comes
out
and
he
is
wearing
a
lion's
mask
And it's in this experimenting that ... he falls
and
he's
completely
naked
as
well.
And
they
trap to this other thing from the nightlife that
do
this
stylized
dance
and
at
the
end
the
lion
leads him into getting busted. Believe it or
gets
the
prey-which
is
the
young
boy.
This
not, it's a comedy.
is symbolism that I wanted to show. And so,
Whatisyourwritingprocess
like?
I write plays as they come to me. I don't sit voila, there is the opening of the play. [Ariel
Messman-Rucker]
down and think, Oh I'm going to write this
'-"oc.ot,.tt S•nto..s"
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Pour the batter into a cake pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 45 minutes,
making sure to rotate pan halfway through cooking process.
Cover celery root and onion with heavy cream and vegetable
stock and simmer over low heat until the celery root is tender
and can easily be pureed with a stick blender, about 30 minutes.
Puree the soup and adjust seasoning to taste. Ladle into warmed
bowls and garnish with shaved black truffle and a few celery leaves.
54
Icurve
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
A Second Serving
Want to know more about our
new favorite chefbians? Read our
exclusive interviews with Ashley
Merriman and Preeti Mistry at
curvemag.com. Find out about
Preeti's biggest post-Top Chef rockstar moment and
how Ashley went from living off the grid to starring in
cable's No. 1 cooking show.
HOLIDAYSUCCESS
RESTSONSWANSON~
THEONLYCANNEDCHICKENBROTHWITHOUTADDEDMSG:
Broth is essential to your entire holiday meal. Other canned broths add MSG.
Ours is 100% natural, flavored with garden vegetables and sun-drenched herbs.
TH.~,",,~t~:.P.fJET·t;IS
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r!'·
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...~.
100% NATURAL CHICKEN BROTH
~
For Swanson's Moist & Savory Stuffing recipe and other holiday favorites, visit SwansonBroth.com
tAmong major brands. A small amount of glutamate occurs naturally in yeast extract. ©2009 CSC Brands LP
REVIEWSMusic Watch
Girls+ Guitars Gifts
What to get your audiophile this December. By Margaret Coble
PersonaQue n L • ,ah
(Verve}:I'm an oldschool
QueenLatifahfan.I still have
the cassetteof All Hailthe
Queen,
her1989debutthat
setthevisualandcontextual
standardfor femalerappers
to come.Today,Latifahis a
musician,actress,author,
recordlabelhead,TV
spokesperson
andall-around
one-woman
entertainment
conglomerate
whocan
competeeasilywith hermale
counterparts.
Thisalbum
showshowwell-rounded
she
is,with a mixtureof urban Searching for the perfect holiday gift for your musicR&B,hip-hop,popandrap.
lovin' gal? Well, here are three recent releases from
Somesongs,likethe clubby
lesbian favorites Kate Reid, Catie Curtis and Sarah
"CueTheRain,"will kickLady
Bettens that are sure to score you some major points.
Gagaor Pussycat
Dollsoff
Trust me.
yourplaylist.Others,likethe
PharrelWilliams-produced
"If
HeWanna,"mayboreyouto
I'mJ 1<;fWa ingUp,KateReidself-released):
You really
tears.Thefew pointswhere can't go wrong with a gift of Kate Reid's music. She
Latifahis candid-rapping might not be as much of a lesbian household name
likethe straight-upJersey
as Sarah Bettens or Catie Curtis, but just give her a
girl sheis in "TheLight"and
few
more years and she will be. The self-described
singingaboutloversbeing
"homofolkie"
from Ontario (now living in Vancouver)
strangersandbiggirlsnot
has recently released her second CD of hilarious and
cryingin "Runnin'"-make
for the bestsongsof all.I still
heartwarming acoustic poetry, the highlight of which
thinkLatifahis talentedand
is "The Only Dyke at The Open Mic:• It's an Ani
unstoppable,
andthis CDis
DiFranco-sryle ramble that humorously recounts an
wortha listen,but purists anxiety-ridden experience on stage in front of a room
shouldreachbackto the
of straight folks in which our heroine eventually wins
oldiesbinto find outwhyshe
the crowd over. Reid's comedic wordrocked-er, rapped-our
smithing also excels on "Ex-Junkie
world20 yearsago.(verveBoyfriend" and "Emergency Dyke
musicgroup.com)
[Diane
Anderson-Minshall]
Project;' the latter of which takes
a jab at the success of Kacy Perry's
"I Kissed a Girl:' It's not all fun and
games, though, as Reid also gives
voice to more serious topics, like she
56
I curve
does on the sparse "No More Missing Daughters;' a
story about Vancouver's missing women. Meanwhile,
cuts like "Dirty Girl" revel in sweet, sexy love. Overall,
it's a well-balanced set of smart acoustic folk that's
hard not to love. (katereid.net)
Hello Stranger,
CatieCurtis(Compass
Records):
One
of the reigning queens of contemporary folk-who
happens to be an out lesbian-finally appeases longtime fans with a stripped-down, bluegrass-leaning
collection of hits and covers. As a whole, the set has
a more intimate, personal-concert feel, in part due
to the fingerpicking finesse of her band, an all-star
grouping of Music City players. But Curtis' relaxed,
gentle voice is really the biggest star, front and center
amid the often-improvised acoustic instrumentation.
Highlights include the title track, a fun, old school
country duet with Mary Gauthier, a fiddle-filled cover
of Richard Thompson's "Walking on a Wire" and a
banjo-driven version of Cat Stevens' "Tuesday's Dead;'
along with twangier takes on several older Curtis fan
favorites like "Dad's Yard" and "Passing Through:' It's
a feel-good, sing-a-long set that clearly establishes
Curtis' place among songwriting giants and countryfolk legends, and would make an excellent gift for fans
new and old. (catiecurtis.com)
~
S
gi
~
4:
[rl
;
ffi
~
§_
~
~
!
~
4:
Q+A
The Plastiscines
Although barely in their 20s, The
Plastiscines are already music business
veterans, equally influenced by New Wave
archetypes like Blondie and The B-52s
and 21st-century acts like The Yeah Yeah
Yeahs and The Strokes. Their first album,
fittingly titled LPl, came out in 2007. The
band's sophomore disc, About Love, arrived
in late summer. Although they still favor
high-energy punk-pop, this album finds
The Plastiscines stretching musically. Karty
Besnard (lead vocals), Marine Neuilly (lead
guitar), Louise Basilien (bass) and Anais
Vandevyvere (drums) may be young, but
they've done their homework.
Whichmusicians
haveinfluenced
you?
Neuilly:
Ari Up from The Slits is one of our
biggest influences. She created a new punk
movement during the '70s with only girl
musicians. We are really respectful of what
they had to go through because at the time
NeverSayGoodbye,
SarahBettens(Cocoon/
V2):On a similar sort of vibe, out Belgian
rock star Sarah Bettens offers up a lovely
new collection featuring three new songs
plus live, guitar-and-piano-accompanied
favorites from her last two solo records
and covers by the likes of Bonnie Raitt
("I Can't Make You Love Me") and Julie
London ("Cry Me a River"). Inspired by
her 2006 From Scream to Whisper theater
tour, the set fills both a greatest hits and
covers niche as well as offering a glimpse at
the softer, more intimate side of Bettens'
voice. With its
three new cuts it
Look out for
is this year's mustour exclusive
have for fansinterview with
Sarah Bettens
the jazzy "I Can
in a future issue
Do Better Than
You;' the dramatic
piano ballad "Slow You Down" and the
anthemic love song "Win Me Over" are all
115' winners-while
the stripped-down treat@ ments of "Go;' "Scream;' "Not an Addict"
~ and "Come Over Here" add a whole new
~ dimension to these international hits.
u
~ (sarahbettens.com)■
:::)
it was hard for girl bands to be
respected. Debbie Harry from
Blondie is also a huge icon to us.
Theword" itch 1susuall used
negatively.
Butin yoursong,you
seemo ceebratei
Neuilly:
I wrote this song when I
was 17. We were just starting the band, and
people were being critical about how we
were dressed and caring about the physical
aspect without even listening to our music.
So I remember [being] in a really angry
mood, sitting on my bed playing guitar and
thinking, as a response to these people, "Yeah
you're right, I'm a bitch, when I brush my
teeth:' After that, I felt so liberated!
Vandevyvere:
I think there's a little bitch
hiding in every [person], and I like it!
Ho did
f • a Ro sta 's hit,
' Y, 're No ood" comeabout?
Besnard:
We were chinking about doing a
cover for the new album but after all the
songs we tried, none of them were working.
One day, [I came to] band practice with this
idea and it worked straightaway! The idea
[came] more from Dee Dee Warwick's [version], actually.
WhatareyourfavoriteAmerican
citiessofar?
Neuilly:
I love Austin. We played there for
the last show of the Nylon summer tour and
it was one of my best gigs! I'd love to be back
to play at [the] South by Southwest festival.
Vandevyvere:
I'm a big fan of Los Angeles.
I'm really into Malibu, Venice Beach and
Santa Monica. I [would] die to live over
there, wake up every morning, go surfing
and play [music] all day long.
[DaveSteinfeld]
•
.
c-._,
·-:-1
- ..
My GuiltyPleasure
TheQuick&Dirty
SallyShapiro
ShelleyNicole's
(PaperBag)
blaKbiishe
(RedButterflyMusic)
If shiny,happydance ,
ThisBrooklyn-based musicis yourthing,
co-edseptetbusts
thenthis critically
'
outwitha rock-soul- acclaimed
Swedish
electronica
hybrid,
'
artist'ssophomore
soundinglikea feminist albumis for you.Pop- ,
versionof the Brooklyn leaningandethereal,
FunkEssentials.
The
vocalistSallyShapiro
centerpiece
of their
staystrueto her'80s
newEPis "blakGirls," synth-heavy
ltalo-disco
a '?Os-vibe
soul-funk roots."Lovein July"is
femaleempowerment a dancefloor
anthem, :
anthemthat'salso
while"Moonlight
an irresistible
dance
Dance"is an '80s
groove.Can'twaitto
throwback.Fun!
hearmorefromthem. (johanagebjorn.infol
(blakbushe.
com)
sally.html)
=
TurnMe Loose
Ledisi
(Verve)
.. f
J.
,
/) .
Scrapbook
• Ellis
' (Roughneck
Records)
TheNewOrleansnative, Thistwo-discDVDset
andGrammyNominee will makeEllisfans
funksit up evenmore reallyhappy.Thefirst
discincludesa recap
onthisfourthstudio
• of thefirst 1Oyearsof
album.This14-cut
set mixesrock,blues, the singer-songwriter's
soulandhip-hopin a
brilliantcareer,a live
fresh,retrosound.The concertsetanda new
production
levelis high, song,"ComingHome
butstill retainsa gritty to You,"accompanied
feel.Theass-shakin' ' bya fan photoslide
opener"Runnin'" and . show.Theseconddisc
"Everything
Changes" , is a 64-songiPodreadycompendium
aremyfaves,as
wellasthe Buddy
of Mp3sfromherfirst
Milescover,"Them
five albums.(ellisChanges."
(ledisi.com) music.com)
December 2009
I57
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Let'sGet Real
Pick up some nonfiction that's pushing boundaries. By Rachel Pepper
Veteran writers Eileen Myles and Rebecca Walker
explore the physical and familial terra incognita as
Myles takes on Iceland and Walker expands our
notions of family.
Gringa:
A Contradictory
Girlhood,
MelissaHart
(SealPress):Gringafollows
MelissaHartthroughher
childhoodas she'sbounced
backandforthbetweenher
free-spiritedmotherand
herstraight-laced
suburban
father.Whenherparents
separate,
Hartandherbrother
andsisteraresweptaway
onan adventure
with her
motherandhermother's
newgirlfriend.However,
her
father'sconviction,
"Youcan't
growup parentedbytwo
women.It's unnatural,"
gains
himfavorwiththe courtsand
primarycustody.Wrappedin
Hart'slyricalprose,readers
aretransported
from1970s
suburbiato a vibrantLatino TheImportance
of BeingIceland:TravelEssaysin Art.
neighborhood
whereHart's EileenMyles(Semiotext(e))·
Reading Eileen Myles is
motherandvariouspartners like entering the mind of the lesbian Mad Hatter.
shareafternoons
filledwith
Super-smart, observant, funny and slightly off-kilter,
sunshineandchimichangas.
Myles
is a cultural time traveler. In this collection,
Amongcomplexities
of class,
she
voyages
to Iceland on two separate occasions and
cultureandsexuality,Hart
her droll depictions of the country's landscape, its
strugglesto makesenseof
inhabitants and its culture are filtered through her
herworldandherplacein it.
In a humorous
andendearing uniquely queer lens. This works best when she is
momentof self-discovery,
the
making wry observations, superimposing her East
12-year-old
Hartbreathes, Village sensibility on Icelandic lore. As she writes
"At last,I wasa lesbian."
of Icelanders, "It's such a specific kind of belonging.
(sea/press.com)
The only thing that it resembles ... is a piece I read
[Frances
Yee]
once in the ew York Times magazine about these
kids of gay parents who are forming support groups
when they come of age because the singularity of
their conditioning in its jarring encounter with
the 'normal' edges of the world needed 'articulation'
in early adulthood ... like an immigrant group:' Apart
from the lengthy first section of work produced in
and about Iceland, the rest of the book is a gathering of
older, previously uncollected pieces that vary in tone,
58
Icurve
quality and timeliness. For example, "Taylor Meade's
Apartment," written in 2002, is rather dull, but her
pieces on touring with Sister Spit, from 1997, and her
lesbian sister's wedding are more engaging. Reviews,
interviews, art criticism and rants also represent the
span of this majestic writer's career. Early
books like The New Fuck You and Chelsea
Girls established Myles as a witty genius;
her characters were scruffy dykes who
drank and smoked and strutted through
East Village streets. The Importance of
Being Iceland brings Myles full circle: She
is able to portray evolving LGBT culture
and her place in it, while simultaneously
enabling the larger world to view us with humor,
irony and admiration. (semiotexte.com)
Baby Love,RebeccaWalker (RiverheadBooks).·In
Rebecca Walker's already illustrious career she has
primarily focused on writing memoirs and editing
innovative nonfiction collections. Her two recently
published books Baby Love and One Big Happy
Family (see review next page) continue this tradition.
Baby Love, originally published in hardcover in 2007
and now in paperback, is an honest account of the
year Walker spent pregnant and as a new mother.
Although she had long been ambivalent about
whether to choose full-time parenthood, any such
ambivalence, she writes, is dissipated by the very
experience of pregnancy. At the time of its initial
release, Baby Love garnered some controversy both
for its passages about the intensity of biological love,
and for Walker's occasionally harsh characterization
of her mother, writer Alice Walker. However, as in all
memoirs, our narrator is both our guide and our emotional barometer, and of course famous mothers, like
all mothers, have their flaws. Readers who are nonbiological parents may find the passages on Walker's
relationship with her ex, Meshell Ndegeocello, and
the son they co-parented more problematic. Indeed,
at the time of its publication, Walker provoked more
controversy for writing that she loved her biological
son more strongly than she imagined anyone could
love an adopted child. While some of Walker's
memoir may send sparks flying, it's her honesty that
makes this book so appealing. Thus, I most enjoyed
Baby Love for the well-captured difficulties and joys
that Walker experienced-the self-doubt, the physical
baby with the baby's African
discomfort, the hormonal rollerAmerican birth mother and,
coaster rides, the sheer exhausin "Till Life Do Us Part;' lestion of the postpartum period
bian writer Meredith Maran's
and the incredible feelings of
account of forging the perfect
tenderness she develops for her baby.
family with a new lover when
(riverheadbooks.com)
her children were all but grown. Walker
OneBig HappyFamily ed. RebeccaWalker successfully expands the definition of
(Riverhead
Books):Riding on the coattails of family wherever she can here. There's
BabyLove,One Big Happy Familywas a nat- a polyamorous configuration, contributions
from LGBT writers like Maran and Dan
ural project for Walker. Bisexual, biracial,
Savage and Liza Monroy's piece, "My First
bicultural, the co-parent of a child of her
Husband;' about the relationship between
lesbian ex and now the parent of a child she
a straight woman who marries her best
has had with a man, Walker "gets" varied
family configurations like few others do. In gay male friend so that he can remain in the
United States.
this collection, 18 writers portray their vast
Although neither Baby Love nor One Big
array of families through a variety of perHappy Family is specifically or exclusively
sonal essays.
The essays include the reflections of LGBT, Walker is, as usual, on rhe cutting
a straight man who donates sperm to a edge of the nonfiction world, a worthy
ambassador for both the queer and straight
woman friend, an adoptive white mom's
account of her open adoption of a biracial
worlds. (riverheadbooks.com)
■
BooksWe Almost Missed
Verge
RollerDerby:The
Z Egloff
History
andAll-Girl
Books)
Revival
of theGreatest(Bywater
SportonWheels
CatheineM be
Egloff'sprotagonist,
Whilethewomen
(SpeckPress)
Claire,is a twoDon'tletthe cerebral
around15-year-old
timing,12-stepping
subtitle-Intersections
Elliearefrayingfrom
women · film geekwhohas
of Folklore,
Vernacular, Thrill-seeking
thepressures
of
swornto staysober,
leading
double
livesMyth,andQueerness
Orthodox
Judaismstayawayfromher
accountant
byday,
hermotherneedsmore in BlackFemale
exandgetintofilm
hellonwheelsby
Culture-scare
self-expression,
her
school.A briefaffair
night-will
find
a
great
oldersisteris planning you.Stallingsdoes
with herprofessor's
introduction
to derby
a wonderfuljob of
anescape-Ellie
wife posesproblems
fallsfor herneighbor blendinganacademic historyhere,fromits
for the latterambiearlydaysto the'70s
approach
with pop
Lindsay.
Whentheir
tion.Somehow
she
Roller
Jam
heights
to
culturereferences
(like
relationship
turns
endsupvolunteering
its
new
punk-queer
sexual,Elliemusttry to hip-hopalbumsand
aesthetic
inthemodern for SisterHilaryat a
reconcile
heremerging comedyperformances)
Therearealso communitycenter
to explorerepresenta- revival.
sexuality
with her
andbeforeshe
player
vignettes,
rule
tionsof sexualdesire
faith.Thisis a rare
knowsit, in grand
breakdowns,
definiin blackwomen,using
youngadultnovelClairefashion,she's
tionsof derbyslang
the "trickster"figure
wellwritten,moving
gotthe hotsfor the
andlotsof picturesto
butneveremotionally fromfolkloreto help
nun.Perfectlylesbian,
accompany
Mabe's
her
wrought-whicheven hercommunicate
indeed.(bywatersemi-fanatical
text.
adultreaderswill enjoy. theories.(ohiostatebooks.com)
(fulcrum-books.
com)
press.org)
(orcabook.
com)
Mutha'Is Halfa Word
Gravity
LeanneLieberman L.H.Stallings
(Orea
BookPublishers)(OhioState
University
Press)
Q+A
Jen Wright
Jen Wright isn't just a lady
of the law-this
probation officer is also a novelist. Her book Killer Storm
is a lesbian mystery based
in her hometown, Clover
Valley, Minn.
Didyoueverdreamyourjob
p·
r •• ?
I absolutely love being a probation officer
and probation supervisor, and I know
there are very few books written about
the subject. We have a unique view of •••
helping clients turn their lives around.
We also have daily contact with police, the
court system, jails, rehabilitation programs,
therapists and victims of crime. I was more
nervous about Killer Storm coming out
than I realized. My anxiety was mostly
centered around being so out as a lesbian
in my work world. My heart actually went
into a funky rhythm for 10 days when the
book was released. After the book was
released, I was pleasantly surprised by the
support I received from people who work
in the system.
a
n
It was a blast. ... It's also harder than you
might chink. Each reader has [a] level
of comfort with how much rhey want
co know about sex in books. I'd read my
work our loud to friends, and there was
never any consensus. I often heard, "Oh,
coo much information;' or"Tell me more:'
I did find that my Catholic background
made writing rhe sex scenes more complicated. I almost felt like I was cheating
on my partner because I had to get into
the mind of Zoey so much in order co
write effectively.
s tm
I was a little surprised at how easy it was
to write about heterosexual love and sex.
In my next book ... there is an actual herero sex act. I read the scene out loud to my
writer's group, and there were two herero
women writers who had quite a lot of fun
explaining to me what was or wasn't realistic. Basically, I chink char love is love and
passion is passion. [Ainsley
Drew)
December 2009
I 59
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Pra We See TheseA
We love this enterprising LGBT director. By Candace Moore
TravelQueeries
{Post-Gay
Productions):
Thelatest
fromqueermediaactivist
ElliatGraney-Saucke,
who
collaborated
with Margaritte
KnezekandSidPeterson,
examinesradicalqueer
culture,art andactivismin
21stcenturyEurope.
Thefilm
exploresinternational
fringe
culturethroughpersonal
interviews,
animation,
performanceandothermulti-media
presentations,
andit hasa
knockoutsoundtrackto boot.
Squatters,
artists,dragperformersandotherradqueers,
the subjectsin this documentarytell of the idealisticvalues
andthe artisticfightingspirit
of a forwardmovement
for
progressive
change.Filmedin
Berlin,Copenhagen,
Warsaw,
Barcelona,
Londonandother
European
citieswith active
radicalqueercommunities,
TravelQueeries
providesa
stunningnarrativeby and
abouta uniquesegmentof
the socialjusticemovement.
Graney-Saucke
explains,"I
seechallenging
peoplewho
don'tviewart asa serious
vehiclefor activismasa way
to makeit accessible
andapproachable."
(travelqueeries.
com)
[Stephanie
Schroeder]
60
Icurve
There's nothing more disappointing than seeing our
festival faves disappear into obscurity, so this month
we've decided to recommend media you may not be
seeing on TV or at the multiplex by highlighting
the short works of up-and-coming director Linda
Andersson.
unforeseen love is certainly in the air (a fact underscored by Hallmark card cupids, who occasionally
flutter about absurdly). All chis chaos comically demonstrates the wisdom of what one partygoer dubs the
six-month rule: Couples shouldn't move in together
until they've stayed together half a year or more.
Who knows what havoc fickle hearts might wreak?
The6 MonthRule(MakingDreamsRealityProductions): Director Linda Andersson's quick-paced, campy
Matchmaking at a lesbian Luau-themed party
short, which recently screened at Frameline, offers
goes awry when a Shane-like
a comic taste of dyke drama in
lothario, played by Michelle
search of a bigger budget.
Wolff (Dante's Cove), dumps
her girlfriend for an especially
TheSeer(SmallPondProductions):
flirty attendee. Add an Internet
Imagine if TV's
Mentalist
dater who longs for "Pisces 69;'
weren't Simon Baker, a smirking ffi
w
a girl who broke her virtual
fake-psychic dude, but rather a ~
heart, only to discover that the
Christine Cagney-styled ex-cop ~
lone straight man at the party
whose visions are legit, and :
w
is her online beloved. Once the
you'll have the pilot of The ;
cat's out of the bag about their
Seer. Clairvoyant Guin Marcus wa:
w
Internet affair, Pisces 69's "real"
(Deborah Stewart) quits the w::J
Q,
life girlfriend (a college has-bian),
police force to open a detective ~
storms out of the party. Hopedagency that will draw on her ~
for connections get botched at
supernatural powers. Meanwhile, ~
this cocktail heavy event while
she's nursing a recently broken ~
t
Q+A
JustBetween Girlz·
Michelle Lawler
Lesbian filmmaker Michelle Lawler's
directorial debut, Forevers Gonna Start
Tonight,tells the tale of Vicki Marlane,
the oldest transgender drag entertainer
in the United States. Filmgoers enter an
underworld of glitz and guise to witness
Marlane conquering substance addiction,
HIV and heartache, and emerge with an
appreciation for this San Francisco legend,
who is still performing to packed houses.
YoufirstsawVickiperformonher68thbirthday.Canyoudescribe
theexperience?
I had never seen anything like that
before. And I was really struck by this
woman who's 68 and she's still doing drag.
[Vicki's] just so expressive, and just has so
much passion. I cried. I totally cried.
Howwouldyoudescribe
Vicki?
Vicki's a firecracker! [Laughs] And she's
also tough. I was blown away that she had
been arrested as many times as she has
for wearing women's clothing and that
she broke out of prison twice. The first
time she broke out of prison, there was
this woman living in a shack set off from
the jail...and Vicki snuck out of the work
camp one day and she was like, "Hey, I'm
a prisoner over there, can you help met
So the woman got her a blouse, a skirt
and some makeup. That's pretty amazing.
When Vicki did that, she was in prison, so
it's not like she was dressed like a woman
or really presenting as a woman, and this
woman gave her women's clothing so she
could escape.
Whydidyoudecideto tell herstory?
heart with plenty of lesbian sex. The pilot for
this unsold queer crime drama opens with
a shot of a woman jogging through the wil~
derness, evoking (if not directly quoting) the
credit sequence of Silenceof the Lambs. This
time, however, the jogger is the victim rather
than the badass investigator. Cut to: our badass
investigator, safe and sound inside her apart~
ment, embroiled in steamy bedroom fun with
her new lover. On the job the next day, as the
afterglow fades, Guin helps the police by snug~
gling up in the suspect's bed and tuning into
his 'energy;' hoping to catch an image of the
TRY FOR FREE!
le more had to do with her and what she
represents to the LGBT community. I
mean, she's our, the, history. I just feel like
if we, as younger people, don't talk to the
older people-it's like their stories will
essentially be lost.
Whatimpactdoyouhopethefilmwill have
onthecommunity?
I feel like LGBT people enjoy a lot more
freedom now than we ever have, and I think
that a lot of people coming up today don't
get what LGBT people had to go through
to enjoy the lives that we have today, even
though we're not 100 percent equal.
Thefilmindustry
canbeanall-boys'club.
Whatkindof challenges
haveyoufaced?
So many. On a daily basis. It's a really
male~dominated industry and I have
battled sexism from day one. Ir's not even
about me being a lesbian. It's about me
being a woman. I feel like I had to work
10 times harder to prove that I could do it
before I could get just the basic amount of
respect. [Frances
Yee)
murderer red~handed. Forget, for a moment,
that Guin's visions can't "prove" anything. We
take it on faith that when a guy creepily hisses
at and taunts Guin in her dream state, he's the
story's bad guy.The plot heats up further when
Guin's lover becomes implicated in the case
and were left with a cliffhanger we'd like to see
resolved. Series' like this "psychic procedural;'
which toy with genre or genre hybrids while
foregrounding queer characters, present
refreshing challenges to their host genres
and to the LGBT media's status quo.
(watchtheseer.com)■
1.800.616.6113
CODE 1508
averraer
•
e
North America'sLesbianChatline
lavenderline.net
REVIEWS
I Tech Girl
Move Over Emil Post
Advice duo dish out their tips online. By Stephanie Schroeder
I-TECHJOGGING
I haterunning,butthe Nike+
iPodWatchRemote
might
just changemymind.As part
of Nike'ssportkit, it allows
youto changesongsonyour
iPodNanoandkeeptrackof
time,andit givesyouspoken
feedbackon howwellyou're
running.Nowthat'sa geeky
workoutI canget behind.
($69,store.nike.com)
[KatiePeoples]
Online lesbian columnists Hersband and Wife,
dubbed by an early fan as a "whimsical duo;' are a
phenom sweeping the Internet. Perhaps, though,
they are already past the sweeping stage and are
trying on the glass slippers-or Timberland boots,
in Hersband's case.
Starting out with separate online diaries on
Yahoo360 five years ago, Hersband and Wife each
had an individual grassroots following when a friend
suggested they combine their efforts in a blog.
Ooh-La Lush
The bloggish mini-mag LesbianLush enlists its members,
regulars and guest writers to give you tantalizing quickies
about all that is lusciously lesbian. The visually stunning
website features sections on fashion, dating, sex, travel
and socializing that include thematic, punchy pieces and
gorgeous photographs covering what's hot this second.
Each category is also equipped with a "Lipservice" forum
that puts you right where LesbianLush wants you to bein the middle of it all. Perfect for the tech-addicted dykeon-the-go, this self-proclaimed "lesbian exclusive
exchange" is like a hot one-night stand for your
BlackBerry. (lesbianlush.com)[YanaTallon-Hicks]
"People were already writing in with questions,
and we were answering;' says Hersband. Word
spread, and their blog grew to include a vlog and
clips on YouTube. The next thing they knew (well,
six years later), they were an Internet sensationand not just with lesbians. They offer advice on
topics ranging from coming out to raising children
in a blended family.
"We kind of grew by accident;' says Wife, who
Hersband says is the tech,savvy one in the family,
building their website and posting their videos.
A now,classic clip showing the duo visiting a
Home Depot and answering the question "How to
keep a rubber penis in your pants:"' illustrates how
butches can "pack" safely and securely.
The couple still have day jobs as well as rugratsWife's children from her previous marriage. They
dispense their advice with grace, wry humor and
genuine sincerity. Says Hersband, "We also do a lot
of research and, in emergencies, give appropriate
contacts for lawyers or psychology professionals we
know to be gay,friendlY:'
Hersband and Wife are hoping to take their advice
on the road in a cross,country RV trip (supported
by fans-hint, hint) where they will raise awareness
about gay marriage by getting hitched in all 50 states.
(hersbandandwife.com)
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Hollywood's Most Wanted continued from page 45___
_
Peoplewhoareteenagersnowarenotnecessarily
thinking, "Am I gay,am I straight,am I a lesbian?"They're
thinkingmoreaboutfallingin lovewith the individual
I agree, and I think that all labels need to just go away forever. It's not fair to put a label on a person. For sexuality,
it's like, I never thought I was going to have a girlfriend,
ever, but it just kind of happened and whoever makes
you happy, that's who you need to be with.
You'vesaidyou'vedealtwithesteemissues
It started, I think, when I was in sixth grade, actually.
My ears stuck out a little bit, which, I think they're cute
now. But some kid put balloons by his ears and called
me Dumbo and that was it for me. I think that having
such low self-esteem issues, I think, you know, alcohol,
drug, eating disorders, all the different issues teens
have, all stem from the way you feel about yoursel£ So,
until you overcome that and you find yourself and you
love yourself ... it's just not going to work for you.
Whendidyoubegmdatmgwomen?
I did a little experimenting in college, but honestly it just kind of
happened. Girls are more nurturing, they're-like I said, double the
wardrobe, and if you have the same size shoe, even better.
D d y u haveto comeoutto yourpa·ents?
I didn't have a coming out, actually. A coming out kind of happened
for me in the press and, it's kind of like, I'm almost happy it happened
because, God, ifl did have a girlfriend, then guess what? My family's not
going to be so pissed off after all, they've already dealt with it.
On ·umors ysyouposedor naughtypictureswhile t Syracuse
and
t at there'sa s cretCourtenasextapeout here
It'd be interesting to see both of those. I've heard the rumors about this
so-called sex tape and I have heard the rumors about these pictures, and
I just remember when I got a call about these pictures it was years and
years ago, and I just broke down. It was not cool back then. Nor did I
know what this person had or what they were talking about. I've actually
wondered, if these do exist, when on earth
they are going to resurface?
Whydoyouthinkthereis so muchinterest in yoursexlife?
I have no idea. There is way more to me
than just my sex life. I don't think it's that
exciting. [Laughs]
Well,therearea lotof peoplethatdisagree.
I know. We'll see, I'll try and stir it up a
little more, I guess. But I also have a show
that I'm shopping right now. Everyone
dreams of having a second chance at life
and this time around I'm going to be the
driver of the ship and I've made a decision that money doesn't exactly buy you
happiness-it
only buys you a higher
thread count. So I am going to go out
there and make it on my own. It's like, if I
can do it on my own anyone can. It's like
I'm a failure to launch. I'm 29 and I've always been supported by my
family and it's time to grow up, already. And I'm terrified, but I think
I can do it.
How1syourrelationship
withyourparentssinceyouleft rehab?
Obviously, me going away brought us back together because, for once,
I was taking responsibility for my actions. Except that I have made a
really bold move, I guess you could say, and my money was given back
to me, but I'm just not going to take it.
Whatelsedoyouhaveonthe horizon?
I'm going to start to do ... once a month, maybe once a week, girl parties. And I'm going to call it"Courtenay's Candy Shop:' It's for lipstick
lesbians, bi-curious sluts-guys bring your girls ... you just don't know
what could happen. But really, you know, the pull is it to just get millions of hot girls there. I want to make it the coolest girl party in the
world. Katy Perry and"I Kissed a Girl"... made girl-on-girl cool, so I'm
going to make it even cooler. ■
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www.feminineprinciples.com
December 2009
I63
ASTROGRRL
Heat up the Holidays
Give her something she'll thank you for this year. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Sagittarius
{Nov.23-Dec.22)
Sex:You make an excellent first impression all through
December. How deep and probing an impression will
depend on whether she's in the mood. Career:Your
best corporate moves will be made outside the office.
Use some vacation time and see if they miss you.
Capricorn
(Dec.23-Jan.20)
Sex:She will surprise you this month with something fun, funky and frivolous. You'd better return
that power drill you bought her ... Career:
If your work
environment is more difficult than usual, find a way to
excite a particular boss and get ahead of the pack.
Aquarius
(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Sex:Gal pals heighten the festivities and spread the
tinsel. Don't sit under the tree in a box. Find someone to unwrap you and show you off. Career:Business
partners demand a lot of your time this month. Try to
set limits so you can enjoy the holidays with a certain
you-know-who.
She'sthe lifeof anypartyand
enjoysgoodgaycamaraderie.
You'llseeherwearinga lamp- Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
shadeon herheadandknock- Sex:You'll party hearty this month, but how much is
ingoverthe oniondip.Sag. too much? Let us know by New Year's Day, when you
galsarealsothe oneswiththe are quietly recuperating. Career:
They love you at work
boisterous
but lousyjokesand and think you're a rising corporate star. Do they have
the loudest,proudestlaugh.In you confused with someone else?
a crowdedroomof quietVirgos
withcocktailnapkinsbalanced
Aries(March21-April20)
carefullyontheirlaps,your
Sex:Lambda Rams can discover new, exotic and
Sag.girlfriendis the onewitha
cheesestickup hernose.Ho, exciting lovergrrls far afield this month. At least that's
ho,ho... oops! what you think. You will find any excuse for a holiday
getaway. Career:Work is an afterthought for you this
December. It's hard to concentrate on projects because
the office party beckons. What else is new?
Taurus(April21-May21)
Sex:You are swept off your feet in a frenzy of desire
by a sexy woman of means. Be sure you know exactly
what she means before midnight on New Year's Eve.
Career:You are the master of your fate at work. Will
you soar to the highest heights or be pushed off the
ladder? Wear springs on your feet, just in case.
Gemini(May22-June21)
Sex:Partners need some tender loving care but you are
too busy. Find the time to hang some mistletoe over
64
I curve
the stove and see what (and who) is cooking. Career:
Idle chitchat can ruin your work environment. Use
those lips for better purposes than gossip. Shhhh.
Cancer{June22-July23)
Sex:There is a certain coworker who would like
to work much more closely with you. Ahem. Make
merry with her in the supply room. Career:Wait for
your holiday bonus check to clear before you spend
it. Either that or rack up the overtime. Burning the oil
now enables you to light up the party later.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Sex:Dancing at every Christmas party will make
you exceptionally popular-and
very busy. Lucky
you. Hurry before your tail begins to droop, Lioness.
Career:You are a major force at work now. Will you
use the power to uproot the corporate landscape or
just trim a few bushes?
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Sex:Are you stuck at home this month? Why not
deck the halls with Holly and see how much fun she
can make the holiday season. Career:Hidden enemies
at work have been revealed and vanquished, but don't
let your guard down. They are videotaping you during
the office holiday party. Take off the mistletoe hat.
Libra(Sept.24-0ct.23)
Sex:Sprinkle your words with sugar and see how
sweet she becomes. Add some whipped cream and
chocolate sauce and drive her crazy. Stop when you
get to the fruitcake. Career:Girlfriends in high places
make your corporate climb easier. Girlfriends in low
places make your work environment even more fun.
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Sex:Lavish her with over-the-top gifts this month.
She will be so grateful she'll fill up your stockings.
Career:No one gets in your way at work this month.
How pushy can you be? Just wait and see who pushes
back. Woo hoo! ■
Astrologer Charlene Lichtenstein is the
authoroJHerscopes: A Guide to Astrology
for Lesbians. Curious what thefuture holds
for Sparky? Check out Petscopes and more
at thestarryeye.com.
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s
Courtenay
Semel
THEMOST
WANTE-~
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Hollywood ■
THEHOTHEIRESS
CONFESSES
ALL
ABOUT
LINDSAY,
TILA,CASEY
ANDHER
NEW
REALITY
SHOW
Property of:
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up to our name. We were the first to do things like offer insurance online and the first to let you
compare rates just as easily. Because like you, we believe in change, especially when it's for the better.
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DECEMBER
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VOLUME
19 NUMBER
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EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Diane Anderson-Minshall
Managing Editor Kristin A. Smith
Associate Editor Rachel Beebe
Assistant Editor Rachel Shatto
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
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Contributing Editors Julia Bloch, Victoria A. Brownworth,
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PUBLISHING
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Volume '9 Issue 10 Curve (ISSN 1087-867)() is published monthly (except for bimonthly
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Courtenay
ComesOut
If you read any of the celeb mags or tabloids, you're bound to know that
Courtenay Semel is a Hollywood girl-on-girl socialite, known as much for her
antics as for her famous friends (like Kim Kardashian) and powerful father, Terry
Semel (former Yahoo! CEO and Warner Bros. studio chief). When our editor in
chief managed to pin down the heiress turned actress, author and entrepreneur
for this exclusive expose, it served as Semel's official coming out, in which the self
proclaimed "Don Juan of the lesbian world" goes on the record about her alleged
relationships with Hollywood's hottest, her new reality TV series, rehab and
cutting the purse strings. Wonder how we scooped the larger magazines with
this rare one-on-one:'
"It's CU rve;' the always-cool Semel gushed. "It's not the typical magazines that
a lot of my friends have done so far-you guys rock and you're the number one
lesbian magazine. I want to be that voice for the lesbian community and bisexual
community. I'm so excited about it. You have no idea:'
In the end, we came away with an interview that was so long it could have filled
12 pages (look for the rest at curvemag.com). And when the cover images came
in, Semel was every bit the anti-diva, nervously inquiring, "What photo did you
pick for the cover? Is it the one in the white shirt:' I loved the one in the boy shorts.
It's my screen saver:'
We hope you agree with our pick. If you don't, look at page five for some other
cover options and tell us your choice. Don't miss our gorgeous six-page special on
Tahiti, which follows two women who get hitched in a Polynesian wedding-and
have their honeymoon on the islands that make up the region.
With this issue we end our 19th volume of issues. Starting with the next issue,
we will begin our 20th year, which is set to include tons of special surprises,
interviews, flashbacks and predictions for the next two decades of lesbian life,
politics and culture. Subscribe now because next October we will publish our
special 20th anniversary issue and host a huge lesbian celebrity bash like you've
never seen-and of course, subscribers get the first crack at the issue and, we
hope, much-sought-after tickets to the party.
curvemag.com
I
(.)
December 2009
I1
Features DECEMBER
2009
26
Polynesian Paradise
Why Tahiti is the perfect place for a lesbian
wedding. By Maggie Jenson
42
Courtenay Semel
The sexy heiress spills the beans on Tila and
Lilo and proves she's the most wanted lesbian
in Hollywood. By Diane Anderson-Minshall
46
Criminal Crush
What happens when lesbian teachers fall for
female students. By Katie Peoples
54
Chef's Choice
Favorite recipes from our favorite chefbians.
By Rachel Shatto
31
AnnualHolidayGiftGuide
189 Gifts to Give This Year
49
LiveGirlson Stage:TheaterRoundup
Delirious for Delaria
See what we've got in our goodie bag.
A maven of stage, screen and song.
By Bree Clarke
50
10 LGBT Plays We're Mad For
From Penny Arcade's dirty words to
Kimberly Dark's Oykeotomy.
Queer Queens of the Stage
52
We get Naked with sexy Odalys Nanin
and schooled by Ms. Behavior. By Ariel
Messman-Rucker and Kelsey Chauvin
page
31
Everyoneon YourList\
_...- .
page
41
page
world." Courtenay Semel
42~--
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"I'd like to say that I'm kind of
like the Don Juan of the lesbian
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>> page 42
Departments DECEMBER
2009
IN EVERY ISSUE
1
6
8
10
18
64
Frankly Speaking
Letters
14
Lipstick & Dipstick: She wants to
spend the holiday with her ex. Is that OK?
17
Religion: A lesbian Pentecostal pastor on
reconciling religion and sexuality.
Contributors
What a Lesbian Looks Like
20
Open Studio
AstroGrrl
Dyke Drama
Can a computer find you love?
22
Politics
What it means to go "home" for the
holidays.
11
Curvatures
Hot tees, D.C. dykes, Amelia Earhart
fashion and 16 months of lip-locked ladies.
24
Celebrity Gossip
The battle over who Kissed a Girl first,
Latifah gets a lap dance and Jodie
is single, at last.
56
Music: Introducing the young, punky
58
Books: Rebecca Walker and Eileen Myles
guide us through the unknown. Plus, books
we almost missed.
60
Film: On the indie screen: Linda
Andersson's TheSeer and The Six-Month
Rule,and a one-on-one with Michelle Lawler.
62
Tech: Hersband and Wife take their
Internet sensation on the road.
41
curve
7
Plastiscines. Girls on guitars for your lady.
The Queen brings us new beats.
urvemag.com
Pretty in Pink
The pop superstar on the bisexual rumors, why all her
friends are lesbians and what she loves most about being
on the road.
~
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Cherry Jones
~
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The Emmy-winning 24 star takes a turn on the big screen
as Eleanor Roosevelt in the upcoming feature film Amelia.
She dishes on playing power parts, working with Hilary
Swank and splitting up with 1V star Sarah Paulson.
~
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Top Chef Exclusives
This season's hottest chefbians dish on what's cooking
behind the scenes.
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So many hot lesbians,so little time-er,
covers. Let us know who you would rather
have seen on the cover. Email your vote to
letters@curvemag.comand be entered to win a
lesboliciousgift.
We found so many ways to give charitably, we couldn't
squeeze them all into our Gift Guide (page 31 ). Get the full
list online and spread some holiday cheer.
1
11 Women to Avoid
From the Collector to the Closet Case, these chicks
should come with a warning label.
t) The Show
Goes On
Go one-on-one
with two trans
performers shaking up the theater
scene. Plus, we
review irreverent
advice guru Ms.
Behavior's latest
production.
court
sern
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WAN'T
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December 2009 \ 5
LETTERS
en's magazines with readersranging
insulted or offended by anything I
from 18 to 80, and probably
have read in curve because
a few on either side of these
of my age or stage oflife. Until
age brackets. It's our goal to
this most recent issue. [Vol.
be a voice for lesbians of all
19#8] The article "Winds of
To me the word
ages and we are committedto
Change" by Kate Lacey has
lesbian is ...
that goal. We made an error
a particularly mean-spirited
in judgement in not editing
sentiment in it. "No matA classiclike me,
andI ownit
out an unwise and mean-spirter what changes your lover
ited comment. Our sincerest
is facing, if you can't adjust,
0/ I don't
apologies.
IO do labels
you may find yourself higher
than Courtney Love and
Toorigid,I prefer
Don'tMessWithTexas
drier than a postmenopausal
something
more
fluid like"queer,"
I was very excited to read
woman:'
It's unfortunate
"bi" or "heteroabout my town Austin,
that this statement-which
flexible"
Texas in your magazine.
I believe to be disrespectful,
According
to a curvemag.com
poll
[Vol. 19#5] However, I
insensitive and insulting to
women-appeared
in this particular issue, think your author (Alison Walkley) should
have actually visited the "Live Music Capital
where there is a great deal of meaningful
of the World" before writing about it. One
content for women of all ages and backgrounds. Believe me when I tell you that a bar in particular that she wrote about, the
1920s Club, has been closed for at least four
woman is not all dried up just because she
is post-menopausal and it is not the end of years. One of the hottest clubs in town is
now Rusty Spurs on 7th street where they
life! Rather, it's a fabulous new beginning.
- Candace Kramer, Boynton Beach, Fla.
just celebrated their one-year anniversary
and you can find gays and lesbians actually
Editor's Note: Curve is one of thefew wom- mingling together, which makes our town a
Poll
46%
38
16%
Remembering
LadyBlue
I was reading your article "Top 51 Closeted
TV Lesbians" [Vol. 19#5] and remembered
one hot year in the early '80s, there was a
police show, called Lady Blue starring an
aggressive character named Detective Kary
Mahoney played by steamy actress Jamie
Rose (who never got her day). Many straight
women have never even heard of the show
( which competed with the likes of Cagney
& Lacey) but ask many dykes-just
say,
"Remember Lady Bluet and the reply is usually,"Oh, my God, yes!"
- Stephanie Monticello, New Jersey
AcrosstheAges
Hi! I just wanted to say to say I love the magazine. I just recently started reading it and
it's just amazing. I never thought there was
a classy lesbian magazine until I came across
curve. On a side note though, I was wondering if you ever include any teen perspectives2 Being a teen myself I think it would
really add some more insight into what it's
like growing up as a lesbian or bisexual.
- Kat S., via email
My life partner and I are 58-year-old women
and, most months I read my issue cover to
cover and find myself wishing I had come
to my sexual awakening at a much earlier
age. As my partner and I have gotten older,
I think your story lines have gotten younger.
But that's OK. There's usually enough of
interest to a woman of any age to keep me
subscribing. However, I have never felt
6
Icurve
The Femme Divide @ Curvemag.com
The only thing better than our tongue-in-cheek article,
"10 Things Femmes Wish You Knew" by comics Suzanne
Westenhoefer and Vickie Shaw, were your comments!
We're not all bottoms.
Just sayin'. - MarchthisQ
Femme girls are
the sexiest. I love
it when they wear
pink. - Leabo
As a chap-stick lezbo
I have to say that this
sounds like a dead on
description of every girl
I've ever dated. I dig girls
in pink, so keep on doing
what you do, femmes!
-AlexST
This article is the best ever! It couldn't be any
truer. Well, at least for me. I also really loved
the fact that they mention that to be a lipstick
lesbian you don't have to wear dresses and
heels all the time. I am a complete lipstick
lesbian, through and through, but I couldn't
tell you when I last wore a dress. - igir/80
When did
Westenhoefer
become
a femme?
-Jesus
I find this article
extremely essentialist and offensive. I
know that femmes
love football, are
tops, know how to
change oil and pay
bills. - femmetron
l. ..take exception to the part
that we are all bottoms. Yes, it's
lovely to be ravished, but I also
like to please. We are, however, totally misunderstood.
We just don't get the credit
I agree with everything here
or taken seriously and are
except the deal about dogs vs.
soooo confused for straight
cats, and the "bottoms only"
chicks. - Debb
bit. Pffft please. Just because
I'm very feminine does not
mean I cannot be sexually
aggressive. [And] I happen to
love my cats. - kcgirlgeek
very unique LGBT community.
- Debbie Barrera, Austin, Texas
Editor's Note: Oops, talk about eggon ourface.
We did send our writer to Austin this year but
it sounds like she had one too many of your famous beers beforeshe wrote her notes! Thanks
for the catch,Debbie. It sounds like we owe you
a beer-at Rusty Spurs.
OurGal
Jennifer Corday's article covering her visit to
P-Town was fantastic! (Vol. 19#5] Keep up
the great work at curve!
- Sharon L. Mayer-Riedy, San Diego, Calif.
Moreonthe TransDebate
As I was browsing through the Politics sec-
e
tion (at curvemag.com], I came across the
"Gender Turbulence" article. Whether the
comments were actually intended to be
"trans-hating" or not, they were unnerving.
Many stated that trans issues are not lesbian issues. Our strength is in numbers. The
only way we can make political waves is if
we stick together as genderqueer individuals and fight for our common goal: equality.
We may be gaining a political say in some
ways, but we sure as hell aren't all there yet.
Didn't we just get our rights taken away in
California not too long ago? I don't think
that was a call for our movement to separate
into separate groups. I think it was a call
for the movement to unite, even stronger
than before, and fight until the bitter end.
- Allison Korotkin, via email
Sendlettersto: curve magazine
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EMAIL:
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GOTO:curvemag.com/letters
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Servicesarenowavailableat
curvemag.com/customerservice:
• subscribe
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Seeing Queerly
Curve's own editor in chief Diane Anderson-Minshall was fortunate to be included
in Jeffrey Horvitz's photo project, Queer Aperture, which features members
of Portland, Ore.'s LGBT community, like mayor Sam Adams. Now showing at
Portland's Q Center it "shows the commonality and the diversity of our community through a little theatricality," says Horvitz. Just a few of the women featured
(clockwise from left}: Dr. Noel Thomas, a naturopath and "all around great spirit"
part-time burlesque star Anderson-Minshall, and garden and food author Jean
Ann Van Krevlin.
From the Editor
The first time I worked
during a production the time when
you literally put a
publication togetherit was frenzied and
exhausting and,
in the '80s when
nobody had personal
computers, rife
with technology
so antiquated that
people in college
nowadays have never even heard
of it (remember VDTs? Yeah,
nobody does). Our tech is top
notch at curve but production is
no less frenzied- especially for
the December issue. Our giant
annual Gift Guide (the things
lesbians tell us they want this year)
takes an army to assemble. Nearly
all the staff is involved. Each year
our art director, Stefanie Liang,
and production artist, Kelly Nuti,
threaten me with bodily violence
when I hand them hundreds of
images and pages of text to "work
out" in just a few days. It means
late nights, long weekends, no
sleep and some cranky Curvettes.
This year, during one of her late
nights, Kelly texted me, "I want
to marry the gift guide." When I
looked baffled, Stephanie said,
"So she can break up with it! Me,
too!" Fortunately, we're all still
alive and as we sent it to press,
we're all expecting a very long,
good night's sleep. Here's hoping
our hard work pays off. But, if
we missed anything, let us know.
And make sure you check out
our "Gifts We Missed" article on
curvemag.com.
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Editor in Chief
December 2009
I7
CONTRIBUTORS
''Ar no other job would I be given an assignment to get high~resolution photos of vibrators;•
jokes photo assistant PiperRobbins.
"But that's just another day at curve!"A native of southern Indiana, Robbins took her first picture at 3 years old and her parents still show it off
from time to time. "It's a terrible photo, but not too bad considering I couldn't count yet;' says
Robbins. When she's not shooting, Robbins can be found advocating for the continued use
of film. "Photography is my one true love;' says Robbins, who is also an avid feminist and has
put on all~girl band shows at local venues to benefit the San Francisco Women's Center. The
next year will bring a trip to the Middle East and a move to New York.
"The most fun part of being a critic is allowing yourself to react naturally to a piece of art, while
absorbing the full context in the most objective possible way;' says contributing writer KelsyChauvin.
"Well, that, plus getting the royal treatment at the theater;' she jokes. In this issue, Chauvin inter~
views playwright Meryl Cohn, also known as feisty advice columnist Ms. Behavior, who's enjoying
raves for her latest production And Sophie Comes Too. "Truth be told, I've always been a critic-or
at least critical. I guess that goes with being an artist myself;' Chauvin admits. Born under a lucky
star, she lives the dream in New York as a freelance writer, photographer and filmmaker. Chauvin is
in post~production on her third short film, Yes & No, which she hopes eventually will be reviewed
candidly and fairly by professional and amateur critics alike. (kelsychauvin.com)
"We were about 25 minutes into the makeup and hair and we were listening to the studio's
Internet radio feed when Courtenay asked, 'Does anyone have any Britneyt I did;' recalls contributing photographer TonyDonaldson
of this month's cover shoot. "Once that playlist started,
Courtenay-a photo shoot virgin-relaxed and had fun with us:• Despite the paparazzi and
media attention, Courtenay Semel had never had her own photo session, but Donaldson put
her at ease and she was fantastic-as you can see. What is Semel like underneath the makeup
and glamr "Really fun to work with and a very sweet person. She surrounds herself with great
people, as well. Several friends visited the sec;' says Donaldson. who even liked her manager,
which, according to him is a rare thing. ''I've had some managers who were quite difficult,
and I've refused shoots based on handlers that I can tell will be nightmares. But I had a blast
shooting Courtenay, as I do with all the people I've had the pleasure of shooting for curve
so far:' ( tdphoto.com)
~
~
II
~
;
8
5
I
a.
0
~
g
0
Behind the Scenes With Courtenay
Want to ~et closer to this celesbian? Go to curvemag.com to see even more of Courtenay in the exclusive behind the
scenes video of our December cover shoot with contributing photographer Tony Donaldson.
s j curve
l
0
curvatures
Finding Community in the Capital
There was a time when Sonali Gulati thought she
was the only South Asian lesbian on the planet. That
was long before the Richmond, Va., resident and
native of India discovered Khush-DC, a social and
political group for LGBT South Asians, based in
Washington D.C.
"It helps contribute to social change;' Gulati says of
the organization, which hosts film screenings, dinners,
panel discussions and other events to promote the
visibility of LGBT people in the South Asian community. In April, while serving as the vice president of
the group, Gulati, 36, helped organize a monumental
event that brought together group members and their
Gulati (right) and
partner Geeta Jahberi
HIGH-END HAWAII FOR A GOOD CAUSE
When a disease affects
one in eight women,
you can bet the lesbian
community is going to
take up the cause to fight
it. While there are many
events close to home
aimed at supporting breast cancer research, why
not use your vacation to help fight the cause? This
year some of Honolulu's swankiest hotels, spas
and adventure programs have designed a heavenly
break for women who want to make a difference.
For each reservation in the Travel Pink, Travel
Oahu program made before December 31, 2009,
participating hotels will make a substantial donation
to the Susan G. Kernen breast cancer appeal. Pink
Travel enticements include various combinations
of room upgrades, spa treatments and goodies,
cocktails and, at the Royal Hawaiian, a luxurious
fuchsia teddy bear for the ultra-femme in your life.
The idea of a beachside body treatment for two
would make any lesbian blush with excitementsupporting women with cancer doesn't get much
more romantic than that. (visit-oahu.com/travelpink)
[GillianKendall]
parents for a dinner celebration and discussion.
''As queer people, we're always coming out, and
coming out is just part of our identity;' she says. "Ir's
a rite of passage. Coming out to parents ... within the
South Asian community [is) particularly valuable,
because South Asians, culturally, prefer not to air
our dirty laundry outside. We're much more private
people. And so, to really be out there, publicly speaking
about [being gay), it's a huge deal, because there's so
much shame attached to being gay:'
Gulati, a professor in Virginia Commonwealth
University's department of photography and film,
says she was surprised to learn about the existence
of Khush-DC when she was coming out in the mid'90s. "I just assumed that the only places where one
would find organized groups would be San Francisco
and New York;' she says.
And though the group has evolved since then, its
purpose remains the same. "I think it's really important for South Asians themselves to know that there
are people like them. Imagine growing up and not
having a reflection of yourself in the mirror;' Gulati
says. "That's a really odd way to live your life. And in
some ways, Khush-DC is that confirmation that, yes,
there are people like you:• (khushdc.org)[YusefNajafi]
GOODBYE
MISSDAISY
Sadly,Daisy,the 5-year-old
lesbianpuppycompanion
of popstarJessicaSimpson
hasreportedly
fallenvictim
to homophobic
wildlife.The
puppy-dyke
wasabducted
by a coyotein L.A.this fall,
just daysafterSimpson
outedthe Maltipoovia
Twitter,saying,"Daisyand
herbestfriendBellaback
togetheragain,"captioning
the attachedphoto,"Lesbian
lavasforever!"In July,Ozzy
Osborne's
Pomeranian,
Little
Bit,fell victimto a coyoteas
well.Nowordyet if thereis
a serialkillerloosein L.A.
Whilechancesareslim,
curve andSimpson,
who
saysher"heartis broken"
overthe disappearance
of Daisy,continueto hope
for hersafereturn.Anyone
withinformation
on Daisy's
abduction
canwriteto
findmissdaisy@gmail.com.
[RachelShatto]
the rundown
Thinking of jetting off for a sexy vaca~
tion with the girl of your dreams? Take a
look at American
Airlines,whose AA.com/
rainbow was the first comprehensive
airline website for LGBT travelers and
has, for the eighth year in a row, received
a top score on the HumanRightsCampaign
Corporate
EqualityIndex... The AliForney
Center,the nation's largest organization
working with homeless LGBT youth, has
just announced that it will be naming a
residential site after the late BeaArthur.
Arthur was a strong supporter of the AFC
before her death earlier this year ... Ladies,
how are you feeling about the state of
our nation? According to a new national
survey conducted by Witeck-Combs
Communications
andHarrisInteractive,
65
percent of LGBT adults say that things
in the country are going in the right
direction, compared to 45 percent of
heterosexuals. [Sassafras
Lowrey]
It's the Real Thing
"This feels right was my first thought when I had my first lesbian kiss after many
years of kissing men," says model Natalie Van Schalkwyk (pictured above right, in the
blue shorts). "Turns out there was nothing bisexual about my curiosity. I felt
completely at home with this lesbian kiss, and have ever since." Van Schalkwyk is
featured in the 2010 I Love Kissing Girls calendar, the latest offering from London-based
photographer Nadia Attura, stylist Mercury and their posse of lesbian and bisexual
models, whose sizzling / Love Ldn Girls calendar was a smash last year. Attura says her
goal for the project was to challenge stereotypes and give queer women more visibility
in the mainstream. We certainly like what we see. (ilovelondongirls.com)
/// NEWTAKEONTIES
The Gaydar
Here's a taste of lesbians in pop culture this month.
Who missed the mark and who was right on target?
TheHungerTheSusan
Sarandon-Catherine
Deneuve
queervampiremovieto be
remade.Here'shopingit doesn't
star anyonefrom the new 90210
e
s
e's
We Dig Amelia Earhart Chic
Lesbians have long pondered whether Amelia
Earhart was playing for our team ( though
married, it was a very different sort of relationship). The feminist icon always coded
queer for her sense of adventure, as well as
her sensible shoes and cropped hair, and now
her fans are ringing in a season of Earhart
chic. The 20th-century aviator, whose death
is still shrouded in mystery, has inspired endless ephemera from fashion to film, books,
biogs and even crafty jewelry on etsy.com.
Fly Girls {Clockwise from top): Hilary
Swank in Amelia; aviator-inspired
couture at Paris Fashion Week;
PersephonePlus earrings
The recent Hermes fashion show was
rife with Amelia-inspired bomber jackets,
trousers and aviator hats-and
sexy shorthaired gaydar-pinging women walking down
a runway amid a dozen spinning plane rotors.
The collection's designer, Jean Paul Gaultier,
told the Associated Press, "I was inspired by a
woman, I forgot her name, an American pilot
with very short, wavy hair who was wearing
13' an aviator jacket, which I love, and a little
~a: scarf that was so Hermes. That's when I said,
~ i\h ha, that's it:"
~
Turns out ol' what's her name-a
cute,
co
~ freckled, lanky tomboy who was often
~ described by reporters as "Lindy in drag"
~ because of her resemblance to Charles
~ Lindbergh-was
America's first celeb~ rity fashion designer. According to the
UJ
B
Huffington Post, her short-lived Amelia
a:
~ Earhart line, which was underwritten by the
U.S. Rubber Company (yes, a tire maker)
[B' in 1934, ushered in the era of fashion mass
~ marketing. According to HujfPo, "Many of
the fashions ... mimicked Earhart's
0
()
flying
clothes and were made
Cl)
c..
c.. in washable, practical fabrics
z
0
:i: like Grenfell cotton, a staple
it of English hunting wear:'
(/)
i
(/)
Can we hear a "les-bi-an" ~
On Etsy, you can find dozens of Amelia
pendants, cigarette cases and reproduction luggage, as well super hot earrings by
PersephonePlus (whose Gothic, romantic
steampunk-inspired jewelry is all the rage
with hipster dykes).
The famous fly girl will hit screens this
month in director Mira Nair's upcoming
flick, Amelia (foxsearchlight.com/ amelia),
which stars Hilary Swank, the lesbo-loved
actor who has defied gender roles in Boys
Don't Cry and Million Dollar Baby. The
production
is chockablock with girl power:
The crew has women in
several roles, including
writers, composer and
production designer.
To accompany
this
sure-to-be-Oscar-fare
movie, are three books:
Nair's official companion to the film, Amelia:
The Motion Picture, which
offers side-by-side comparisons
between the
real people and events and their on-screen
counterparts, along with original press clippings, photos, maps and stories from Nair
and her crew (and a foreword by Swank herself). Also check out Women Aviators: From
Amelia Earhart to Sally Ride, Making History
in Air and Space, which offers a magnificent
tribute to a century of women aviatrixes who
fought against the odds to man airships,
rockets, balloons and airplanes. Among the
most riveting characters is Bessie Coleman,
a sharecropper's daughter who worked as a
laundress to pay for her own flying lessons,
later becoming a performance flier and the
first African American-man
or woman-to
become an airplane pilot. (Both from rizzoliusa.com.) Finally, for the ultimate illustrated
biography of Earhart, pick up Amelia Earhart:
The Thrill of It by Susan Wels.
A quick gander at these books and Swank's
new film reminds us why Earhart chic isn't
just about that romantic jolie-laide feminist figure; it's about the allure of
women aviatrixes and what they
mean to us (and, well, why we
still find them hot). [Diane
Anderson-Minshall]
Women's resorts, bars,
cafes, bookstores & more,
across the US, Canada,
Europe & beyond.
Plus lesbian cruises &
tours, women's festivals,
pride celebrations,
LGBT film fests,
eco-adventures & more!
Call for a free catalog
I
or visit us online at
ADVICE Lipstick& Dipstick
WishingYou a VeryMerryEx-Mas
DearLipstickand Dipstick:My girlfriend,Ariel,
andI werehangingupstockings
anddecorating
the houseyesterday.
We were drinkingchampagne and singingcarols.It was so festive
and fun-until she laid this one me: "Susie
[her ex] asked if I'd have Christmasdinner
at her parents'house.Is that OKwith you?"I
was shockedandblownaway.I said"no"and
startedto cry. I don't understandwhy she'd
want to go there insteadof beingwith me.
We're spendingChristmasEve and morning
together,
soam I beingan insecure,demanding
jerk?- Cryingin the Rafters
Lipstick:Hold on a sec, Crying in the Rafters,
because Ariel is not over her ex. Lou Rawls
sang, "Christmas is the time that we should
be together;' not "Christmas is the time we
should hang out with our exes and leave our
partner at home:' You're not being a jerk, and
I urge you to tell Ariel how you feel. What I'm
not saying here is that seeing exes during the
holidays is wrong, just that the relationship
needs to have truly solidified into a friendship
and you-the current girlfriend-need
to be
invited. Shake up some festive martinis and
tie Ariel up with tinsel if that's what it takes
to keep her close to home this Christmas.
Dipstick:Tie her up with tinsel? Really,
Lipstick, you can't force Ariel to stay away
from her ex. She may or may not be over Susie,
but you can't make her choose. Ariel probably just has fond memories of Christmas
time with Susie's family. Sometimes when we
break up with someone, we miss her family
more than we miss her. Ariel doesn't want to
give that connection up. Can't say that I blame
her-I still miss Mrs. Martucci's homemade
pasta sauce and gnocchi. But Lipstick is right
on one count: If Ariel's going to start building a new life with you, you should also be
invited to Christmas dinner.
DearLipstickand Dipstick:Howdo you know
whensomething
is reallymutual?I hada great
nightwith a verywell-knownlesbian,whois a
big part of the community
in SanDiego.It was
nothingsexual,just intimatehand-holding
and
14
Icurve
touching.I thoughtwe werefeelingsomething
mutual,but abouta weeklaterI askedhervia
emailto havecoffeewith me. I alsotold her I
reallylikedherandwouldlikeusto getto know
eachotherona one-on-one
basis.Shesaidshe
just wantsto be friendsand I'm so confused.
- WaitingandWondering
Dipstick:I'm curious what this gal is "wellknown" for? Being a player? Where did
this hand-holding cake place? On the beach
around a campfire with alcohol and Mary
Jane? If so, she wasn't feeling you-she was
feeling the romance of the moment, the salty
breeze, the hook-ups going on nearby, the
buzz in the air. Next time, go sober.
Lipstick:Dipstick, cool your jets. W and W
didn't say anything about bonfires and booze.
W and W, what's there to be confused about?
You two may have enjoyed a fantastic night
together, but you need to take her words at
face value now, because she's being really clear:
You're not going to exchange wedding vows,
just best friend charms. One of two things is
going on here. First, maybe the night meant
more to you than her. Second, maybe she's
stymied with a fear of falling for someone and
the whole night scared her, so she's pushing
you away entirely. Either way, quit trying to
piece this puzzle together and move on.
Dear Lipstickand Dipstick:I feel a little bit
stupid asking this, but my girlfriendand I
havebeentogetherfor overa year andin the
middleof lovemakingthe othernightshejust
announcedshe's a "firm" bottom!We have
alwayshad awesomesex, and she's always
beenbothtop and bottom.Am I wrongto feel
betrayedandthat our entiresex life hasbeen
a farce?Whatthe heckis a "firm"bottomanyway?- TopsyTurvy
Dipstick:Firm bottom? Are you sure she
wasn't complimenting yours? Or, maybe she
was complimenting you by saying that you
made her feel so good, she would be happy to
always beon bottom. Actually, I think she was
trying to tell you she's not that versatile and
she just wants to be a pillow queen. But that's
my interpretation. You should ask her what
she means. After all, if you want to continue a:
to have a good sex life, you need to have good ~
communication. And, before you toss her out w
of bed, why not give her way a try? Maybe ~
you'll discover you're a big ol' firm top.
::i
1
NTED
omen
withbigheart
formeaningful,
fun-fill
dvaca
ion
inexotic
desti
atio.
CALL 877 793 3830
DISCOVER SWEET.COM
CST# 7()9175", 40
ADVICE Lipstick& Dipstick
Lipstick:I saw a firm bottom today running
along the beach by my house. Yum. I'm not
sure what I'd say in the heat of the moment if
my girlfriend, after a year of scrumptious give
and take, suddenly declared she's done taking
the reins. Maybe "get out of my bed"? If this
is how your girl really feels and she's not just
being lazy (could be), this should have been
something she shared with you after the first
week, not the first year. I call foul. Don't sleep
with her again until you get to the bottomer, top-of this.
DearLipstickandDipstick:I havean amazing
girlfriend.We're in a long distancerelationshipnow,andwill be untilI'm ableto getback
to the States.I loveher with all of my heart.
Thingsare great betweenus. We don'tfight.
She'severythingI haveever wantedand so
muchmore.You'rewonderingwhy I'm writing to you if everything's
great,right?Well I
think my girl is still in lovewith her ex. The
problemis, he'sdead.He killedhimself.They
weretogetheroffandonforthreeyears.I have
talkedto her abouthim beforeand she said
theyneverwouldhavemadeit becauseof his
issueswith drugs.HowcanI helphergetover
him?Thereis somejealousy,but that'swhoI
am.Theotherdayshewrotea blogabouthim.
I just don'tknowwhat to do. MaybeI'm just
beingstupid,but it is botheringme.- Ghost
Buster
Dipstick:Before we get to the part about
the dead ex, let me address your statement,
"There is some jealousy, but that's just who
I am:' I beg to differ. Jealousy is not who you
are; it is a behavior you learn and something
you can overcome. Writing a tribute blog
about someone you loved who is no longer
alive is not something that should incite jealousy. What is there to be jealous of? The guy
is dead. Lipstick, why can't people appreciate
what they have?
DearLipstickandDipstick:
HowdoI letwomen
know,withoutusingwords,that I am a single
lesbian?
It's prettyobviousI'm gaybutnotthat
I'm singleandwant to meetsomeone.
I work
in retailin a big city and helpgaywomen
on
a dailybasis.I havemanygayfriendsbutthey
areeitherin relationships
or toofriendlytoget
involved
with.I don'tgoto barsbecause
I'ma
recovering
alcoholic.
- Candysgirl@lesbo.com
Lipstick:
I disagree, Dip. Ghost Buster, I don't
think you should be in a relationship with this
woman-neither of you is ready. Jealousy, in
this situation, is triggered by the fact that you
feel threatened by your girl's emotions. Your
girlfriend is not over the death and you feel
insecure about it. Until you both can get to a
different place emotionally, put up a wall and
call it quits for a while. Eventually, maybe you
can reunite, but healing takes time-give her
that, whether she wants it or not.
Dipstick:First of all, you start by changing
your email address. It gives the impression
that you're not available-even if Candy is
just your cat. Why don't you get a screen
print and make a T-shirt with the word
"single" on it? Oh right, that's using words.
This is a tough one. You can't ask a girl for
her number without using words either.
Unless you learn sign language. But those
are words too, aren't they?
Dipstick:
Your girlfriend is grieving a significant loss in her life. This really doesn't have
anything to do with her feelings for you. You
need to be patient and sensitive. The way to
help her get over him is to be loving. Losing
a partner to suicide is devastating and the
grieving process is a long one. You can wish
that she weren't going through this process,
but that won't help. If it continues to bring
up feelings of insecurity and you can't be
present with an open heart, and without
judging, then, like the femme said, you need
to remove yourself from the situation.
Lipstick:
Dipstick, you're so literal sometimes.
Candysgirl, you need to turn up the flirt-ometer. How about a long lingering look? The
message will be loud and clear. A wink makes
it even clearer. If she's single and likes your
pheromones, she'll let you know. After you
girls connect, be witty, thoughtful and generous, and do more listening than talking.
This is a sure way to bag a babe. ■
Want helpwithyour problem?
Write to tv@lipstickdipstick.com.
And tune intoThe Lipstick & Dipstick
Show at curvemag.com/lipstickanddipstick
THEPERFECT
DINNER
PARTY// FivePeople
We'dLiketo HaveOverForDinner
DIPSTICK
Pat Summit... headcoachof
theTennessee
LadyVolunteers
basketballteam,the winningest
coachin collegebasketballhistory, maleor female,thoughshe
mighthaveto stepoutto takea
callfroma newrecruit.
SuzanneWestenhoefer
...
the funniestlesbianin America,
she'll helpkeepconversation flowing(andwill
makejokesabout
Pat,while she'sout
of the room).
16 I curve
KateKendall... headof the
NationalCenterfor Lesbian
Rights,she'llinspireusto
getactive.
LIPSTICK
RachelMaddow
... political
watchdog
andTVhost,herfemme
wifewilltagalongsowecan
discusswinterfashions.
RachelMaddow.. .everylesbian
inAmericawantsto sit nextto her. EllenDeGeneres
... ananimal
Plus,she'llbringanexcellent
bottle advocate
andtalkshowhost,she'll
of bourbon.
bringseveralmuttsto entertainour
dogHarveyduringdinner.She'llsit
MichelleObama... thefirst lady
nextto Sarah,asthey'refriends
will appreciatemy homeandprobably
haven'tseeneach
grownsaladandshe
otherin awhile.
mightget intoa debate
WandaSykes... thecomicwill
on DOMAwith Kate
appreciate
thewinewe'vepoured
andRachel.
f~omDelDotto,a wineryI saw
Sykesperformat
lastsummerin
Napa,Calif.
AnneMurray...
a lovesongcrooner
(andhopefullya
closetdweller?)whowill
breakout into songin between
dinneranddessert.
SarahMaclachlan... the
singer-songwriter
livesnearby
andcanbringan Indianappetizer
(herchildrenarehalfEastIndian).
Maybeshe'llsinga duetwithAnne
bythe roaringfire.
Religion ADVICE
Out at the Pulpit
An openly lesbian Pentecostal pastor on
reconciling sexuality and faith. By Katrina Fox
Thirteen years ago, Sandra Turnbull became
one of the first openly lesbian Pentecostal
ministers when she was ordained into full
time ministry and began pastoring the
Metropolitan Community Church in Long
Beach, Calif. A former Assemblies of God
member, Turnbull began the inclusive Glory
Tabernacle Christian Center in Long Beach
in 2004.
The words "lesbian" and "Pentecostal"
don't exactly have a history of sitting
comfortably together, especially in the
Assemblies of God denomination, which
denounces homosexuality as a sin. "It's
taught that this is an area of brokenness
where people need healing," says Turnbull.
T urnbull's parents were Assemblies of
God missionaries, and after high school she
studied at the conservative headquarters of
the organization in Missouri, all the time
feeling "different" because she was attracted
to girls.
"There were no negative messages about
homosexuality, it was just never discussed;'
she recalls. "It was just a sense of being 'other'
and wondering why I always fell in love with
my best girlfriends:'
At 22, Turnbull traveled to Amsterdam
to work for a Christian charity called Youth
with a Mission, and it was there that she
met her wife and part-
Then she felt the Holy
Spirit saying, 'You'll marry
a woman: When I arrived
she felt God speak to her
and say,'That's the one:"
Turnbull, now 48, is a
warm, charming and en1
gaging person, and her eyes
light up as she talks about
her partner. After the pair
dated for a while, a worker
at the organization found
a love note written by
Robertson to Turnbull and
arrangements were made
to send Turnbull home.
"They said they were
sorry someone on their
staff corrupted me;' she
chuckles. "They kept me in
a room until the flight, but
Janet went to the leaders
and said she wanted to tell
me she was sorry, so they allowed us to go for
a walk. We went down to the canal and she
proposed to me:'
When Turnbull returned home and came
out to her parents, they were horrified and
sent her to a Youth with a Mission base in
North Hollywood for people "struggling
with
homosexuality:'
After a few months there,
Turn bull learned she was
living only a block away
from Robertson.
The
pair reunited and had a
commitment
ceremony
in 1986. But even now,
Turnbull's parents have
difficulty accepting her
sexuality. "They're really
loving and have come to a
place where they try to be
accepting of me, but just can't;' she laments.
"My dad said, 'Not until the Assemblies of
God changes their stand on this:"
So, why be part of a religion that sees
Then she feltthe
ner of 23 years, Janet
Robertson, who was on
staff with the organization at the time.
"Jan !t had known she
was a lesbian since she
was 5;' Turnbull laughs.
"It never conflicted with
her faith, but she knew
enough not to talk about
it or be in a relationship.
Before I arrived she had
a dream in which she was running through
the woods and from a tree came this figure.
She ran into the person's arms and she knew
it was a woman but couldn't see her face.
HolySpiritsaying,
'You'llmarrya
woman.' When I
arrivedshe felt God
speakto her and
say, 'That'sthe one.'
your love for another woman as sinful? How
does being queer and Pentecostal work?
Pentecostalism is simply a sense of the Holy
Spirit filling people and speaking to them,
Turnbull explains. "I believe Christianity is
meant to be inclusive. A lot of [biblical teachings] on social issues are archaic:'
In fact, when Turn bull came out publicly,
it wasn't just her sexuality that conflicted
with the traditional elements of the church, it
was also her gender. "One of the things that
bothers me in Christian churches is this tradition of male dominance over women and
saying they get it tr )m the Bible;' she asserts.
"Christianity doesn't have to be a patriarchal
tradition where women are oppressed:'
Turnbull has put her money where her
mouth is as pastor of the Glory Tabernacle.
Their aim is to be inclusive of everyone, and
about 70 percent of the congregation identifies as LGBT. Workers from the church,
including Robertson, travel to places such as
South Africa, where they offer help to rape
survivors and homeless queer youth. ■
December 2009
I 17
OPENSTUDIO
ArtisticActivism
These creative change-makers are using art to send a message.
Chris Carraher, aka JackDandy,
is an ecological activist and visual artist
whose work centers around her home: the vast desert that lies near
the mouth of California's Joshua Tree National park, which Carraher
describes as "having one foot in the wilderness and one in civilization:'
Whyis thedesertlandscape
sucha sourceof inspiration?
The desert is a laboratory. It's a lovely place to observe the world, because
there's not so much visual clutter and there is nothing interrupting my
vision. In a way, it's very simplified but also very dynamic.
What'stheinterplaybetweenyourart andactivism?
Sometimes I have to get off my environmental soapbox and observe through other mediums.
My art is the only place where I can really process beyond the rational and move into the
other sources of internal intelligence.
Whatdoyouseeasthegreatestthreatto yourarea?
Right now, claim-seekers are descending on us, especially regarding energy and expansion.
They want to set up huge solar plants, which literally scalp the earth and destroy our
ecosystem. The solution is to put solar on all the roofs in metropolitan areas rather than
one large, environmentally destructive plant.
Howdoesyourgenderqueer
identitymeshwithyourecological
activism?
It's tricky here, to be in a rurally conservative area and have the gender identity that I do.
Online is a place where I assert my gender identity. Here, I don't want it to be the key issue
and topic, when there are other issues I want to work on. [Kristin
A.Smith]
1s
I curve
Lesbian-feminist performance
artist extraordinaire JessDobkin
is ardent about her art as well as
her activism. Her daring performance pieces fearlessly explore
gender, sex and culture. Her piece
"Lactation Station;' for example,
invites viewers to become participants at a "milk bar" by sampling
different types of pasteurized
human breast milk. And in the
more recent "Everything I've Goe,
she looks at the creative process
and what happens to work that
doesn't get produced due to a lack
of time or resources. She does
AlexSmith,a San
Francisco-based queer
artist and activist, makes
large-scale, oil-on-steel
pieces about the trials
and tribulations of a boi's
bathroom.
Whychoose
bathrooms
as
yoursiteof activism?
[Bathrooms] are gendered,
and for those of us that
live in the gray, they are
one of the larger issues
we deal with every day. For
gender non-conformists,
Youmadethequeer
bathrooms can feel
pilgrimage
toSanFrancisco inaccessible, as you have
fromthecountry.
Howdoes to learn by observing in
thatinfluence
yourwork?
a place where it is taboo
Growing up on a farm,
to do so.
I have an appreciation
Yourworkdealswith
for rugged and raw
seriousissues,
butit's
mixed-media artwork.
alsoa bitcheeky.
Here, incorporating
I want to make our
inaccessible, taboo-filled
graphic painting with
unpolished steel reflects
experience accessible to
the mixed-media of
those who have never
queer identity itself.
had to stop and look at
Clockwise from left: Jack Dandy's "Heavy
Equipment" and "Pinto Mountains" (inset);
C.D. Kirven's "A Bronx Tale;" Alex Smith's
bathroom series; Jess Dobkin performing
"Everything I've Got" and "Fee for Service;"
and Kirven's "Colored Entrance." Jess
Dobkin's "Mirror Ball" (bottom)
this by cataloging her journal entries after she
has penetrated herself with a dildo and birthed
a mannequin head.
"My work is intrinsically feminist because it
is always concerned with more than women's
empowerment;' says Dobkin. "I explore issues
of power and inequity. I also use my body as
my starting point. It's my primary material and
I use it in relation to feminism as a way to take
back ... what has been taken from us as women.
I am both subject and object:'
As provocative as some of her work is, the
Toronto-based artist manages to convey to her
audience that her performances are not merely
done for shock value. "I want to create an
environment to engage audiences in meaningful ways," says Dobkin. "I make it safe for them
to explore some discomfort, and shock is not
conducive for my purposes. However, I understand my work might come off as shocking
because I deal with taboo subjects:' [Stephanie
Schroeder]
the signs-the
man and
then the woman-and
decide, "Which one do
I look most like today?"
Hopefully, humor takes the
edge off a hard-to-digest
subject. [YanaTallon-Hicks]
C.D.Kirvenhas been unstoppable since the age of 16, when an article she wrote
about corporal punishment in schools became a catalyst to restricting the thencommon practice in her native Texas. Now in her 30s, Kirven continues on her
path of positive change by working for countless causes, including the prevention
of LGBT domestic violence, in even more creative ways.
Kirven's debut documentary, The Dark Side of the Rainbow,a short film about
same-sex domestic violence, is the first LGBT film to be captured entirely by cellphone, an appropriate medium for this urgent and often distorted topic.
"There is a dark side to everything, including the rainbow ... I'm hoping this
will lead to a healthy discussion about those dark aspects;' says Kirven. The film,
which was a finalist for the Texas Award in the USA Film Festival, is now part of
the abuse prevention programs at Chicago's Center on Halsted and The Dallas
Resource Center.
Kirven has also developed her own computer-based collage process, called electronic collage. She creates bold, urban pieces such as ''A Bronx Tale" and"Pride," that speak to
the racism and sexism in LGBT communities. Her work
promotes women's understanding of their inner strength
and beauty, which she says is an initial step to combating
domestic violence and reaching our full potential.
She exhibits her work to raise money, with the goal of
founding Dallas' first LGBT domestic violence shelter, the
Kirven House. "Most same-sex victims are turned away
from government services;' Kirven says. "I hope [opening
the Kirven House] will inspire others to do the
same within their community. One shelter
could save up to 10 lives a year:' [YTH]
Photos:Ellie Greenwood(Dandy),DavidHawe(Dobkin),
AmySnyder(AlexSmith),NathanWilson(Kirven)
December 2009 j 19
DYKE
DRAMA
KnowingVirtuallyEverything
Why her online profile might not be the sneak peek you think it is. By Michele Fisher
You did your research. You have an aerial
view of her house. You have" virtually" driven
down her street. You have met her "friends"
on Facebook. You know what bands she
worships, what restaurants she frequents
and who her playground nemesis was in
the third grade. She is a blogger and you are
now an expert on her opinions on everything
from the GOP (she doesn't like) to the ballwhacking Williams sisters (she loves). You
have peeked at her family vacation photos
and you feel like you could walk up to her
mom and discuss those incredible sunsets
over the Grand Canyon. In fact, meeting
her family will be redundant seeing as how
you know all of them almost as well as you
know her.
You have seen her in her PJ s, a prom dress,
a bathing suit and a SpongeBob costume. You
know that she struggles with nail biting and a
negative body image. Her therapist is one of
the highest-rated practitioners on Yelp, as is
her dentist and her hair stylist.
You have researched her employer and
found that the company is thriving, with
plenty of room and capital to grow. She
has both health and dental insurance
and a good investment option with
said employer.
Her Internet criminal background
check came back clean, as did her
credit check.
You have chatted with her
countless times in cyberspace,
sometimes into the wee hours.
You haven't had cybersex
because you both think it's pretty silly
and requires too much multitasking.
Someday, if all goes well, you will
actually meet her.
You know, technology can
really take the fun out of a first
date. Where is the mystery?
What happened to the intrigue?
What is there left to talk about,
when you finally do meet?
Nope, I refuse to be one of
those technophobes who rail
against the evils of modernity. I am glad
for things such as defibrillators and panini
makers. I am here to make friends with the
future-just not best friends. Instant profiles
and pix can be helpful when you are looking
for lust, love or a cheap apartment.
Truth be told, most of us could have saved
ourselves a lot of trouble if we had taken a
sneak preview of the women we were about
to embark upon a relationships with. For
instance, had I known that one woman I
dated owned only one book-a
self-help
book about codependence-I
probably
would have left after the first night of sex.
Facebookwouldhavebeen handyyearsago when
I foundmyselfshakinghandswith my girlfriend's
bestfriend.I'd just sleptwiththe best frienda
week beforeand snuckout of her house
becauseI didn'twant to
havesex with her
everagain.
•••
••
••••
• • -~----~
..........
20
Icurve
The sex was good, but it was certainly not
worth 11 months of psychobabble.
If you have ever dated someone who has
conveniently neglected to mention her wife
or husband, or out-of-state fugitive status,
some background info may have precluded
that little bit of drama in your life.
Facebook would have been handy years
ago when I found myself in the unfortunate
position of shaking hands with my girlfriend's best friend. I'd just slept with the
best friend a week before and snuck out of
her house because I didn't want to have sex
with her ever again, nor did I want to give
~
()
•••••
•••••
-----·-·
~
(/)
c§
~
LU
0
<i:
0
:::,
:5
()
her my name or telephone number. It wasn't
terrible sex-it was just awkward and alcohol,
induced. I crept out into the dawn, hoping to
remain anonymous and forgettable. I figured
she felt the same. Apparently, she thought me
quite rude and told my girlfriend all about
our prior association. That particular girl,
friend and I did not last long. I'm not sure if
her buddy's recollection hastened our demise,
but I know it didn't help. Had I been able to
see her friend's goofy face on a web page, I
would have been able to get in front of the
drama rather than get steamrolled by it.
If I had been given virtual knowledge of
some of the women in my life before I met
them in person I would not have:
I'd beenableto sharea drinkwith a woman
whosebodyhad,at onepoint,represented
an
entirestate).
5. I definitelywouldnot havehit on my
friend'smother-in frontof her husbandand
50 otherpeopleat their SilverAnniversary
party.Waita minute,technologywouldnot
havehelpedin that situation.I wasjust drunk.
Then again, if my wife and I had researched
each other on the Internet before we met, we
would not be a "we:' To be sure, I would still
have gone on the date after the preview, but
she definitely would have passed on me. (She
disagrees, but not convincingly.) We had
nothing in common. My past was checkered
and hers was solid. I am happy,go,lucky and
1.Takenthat vegetarianwomanto a steak
she has her days planned to the minute. My
houseon ourfirst date.
idea of financial planning is putting my spare
change in a pickle jar, which I cash in every
2. Madefun of accordionmusicwhile I was
winter for my first lift ticket. She knows
what a loaf of bread is going to cost in 2050.
outwith that hot chickwho,it turnedout,
She is younger, smarter and prettier than me,
playedin a zydecobandandwasthis close
are
(imaginemythumbandindexfingertouching and no, I am not being modest-those
here)to takingmehomeandplayingwith
just the facts. What do I bring to the table?
Geez, I sure am glad the wife doesn't think
me-I meanfor me.
like you. No machine in the world would put
3. Shotmy mouthoff aboutorganizedreligion us together, and yet, here we are in the flesh.
Over the years we have watched 'compat,
to that hotdykerabbinicalscholar.
ible" couples crash and burn while our less
than perfect match has not just endured but
4. ToldSouthernjokesto a formerMiss
Tennessee
who,up until my monologue,
had
flourished.
So go ahead-fire
up that computer
beentellingmyfriendsthat shethoughtI was
as cuteas a bug'searandthat shewasgoing and see what those ladies have to offer. But
to askmeout for a drink.(Andno matterhow remember, knowing virtually everything
about a woman isn't even the half of it. ■
downhomeit wouldhavebeen,I still wish
HOWOLD WEREYOU WHENYOU
Cl
<1%
IT
In my40s
*According
toa
curvemag.com
poll
In my30s
In myteens
I'm not
outyet
The PremierDatingSitefor
the LesbianCommunity
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POLITICS
what I now consider to be my real familymy lesbian family, the people to whom I feel
the closest and who love and accept me for
who I am.
Unlike heterosexuals, queers are often forced
to create their own familial units outside of the
claustrophobic and often assaultive confines
of their biological family.
Like any birth or death process, it can
be a painful journey of self-discovery and
concomitant loss. It's painful to realize that
we might never reconcile with our biological
families. But we have to forge our own paths,
irrespective of where we came from.
For those of us who fail to meet the
expectations of our biological families and
feel unable to cope with the constraints,
harassment or even violence that comes with
attempting to fit the heterosexual paradigm,
even for the holiday period, creating our own
family structure is vital.
Some might argue that anyone can
compartmentalize for a few days out of the
year. But pretending we are someone else for
any length of time is damaging. We need the
succor and support of a network of people
who know us, understand us and welcome us
with love and acceptance. During the holidays,
when it seems like the whole world is being
cosseted in the warm embrace of family, we
need it even more, to fend off the chill of
feeling like social outcasts.
Home for the Holidays
'Tis the season to figure out what family really means.
By Victoria A. Brownworth
Weve all heard it, and even sung it: "There's
no place like home for the holidays:' But for
many queers, feeling like we're "home" can
be as elusive as finding the perfect gift.
Our families of origin are often less than
welcoming; our place in the heterosexual
dynamic is more fraught than fun. The
holidays, rather than imbuing us with that
Rockwellian sense of warmth and conviviality,
often make us feel like the perennial outsider,
standing alone in the cold, observing a
tableau of togetherness to which we will
never be invited.
Many of my friends go home for the
holidays only to end up feeling anger, resentment, unhappiness and loss. One friend
has never been allowed to bring along her
partner, despite their decade-long relationship, because her evangelical family doesn't
accept homosexuals. Another friend brings
his partner of nearly 20 years to all his family
gatherings, but the topic of their relationship is never raised. To his family, he and his
partner are two unmarried bachelors who
share an apartment, not a life.
22 \ curve
Yet, these are relatively benign experiences.
Many queers can't even consider visiting their
families at the holidays because their families
don't accept them at all.
Psychologists assert that the holidays are
among the most stressful times for everyone,
that expectations are often not met and that
many leave disappointed. But for queers, the
holidays are even more of an ordeal. They raise
the specter of what can never be: Parents keep
hoping their child will turn straight, siblings
can't understand why their sister or brother
can't just be "normal;' grandparents, aunts and
uncles wonder how something like this could
happen in their family.
Faced with our families' disappointment
in us, our feelings of isolation and abandonment are magnified, making us feel alone and
unloved at a time when it seems that everyone
else is content.
Like many queers of my generation, I found
that my family did not accept my lesbianism. I
love Christmas, but the holidays were torture.
Years of not speaking to or being in touch
with anyone in my family helped me to find
Thisseason,consider
whetherthattriphomewill
makeyoufeelgoodor bad,
affirmed
or nearlydestroyed.
Considerwhetherthe
peoplewho shareyour
DNAalsoshareyourvalues
andsenseof self.Consider
whether"home"is a
realityor just a word.
The fact is, it's not just queers who create
their own families. The entire heterosexual
world is predicated on creating new families.
Children grow up, marry and have children
of their own. Their new biological family
supersedes the one into which they were born.
~
1.
(!)
~
~
~
<(
~
Bue for queers, to whom marriage is denied in
all but a few states and for whom having or
adopting children can be a difficult prospect,
standing alone against the social construct of
family can be overwhelming.
There are many platitudes about biological
families. We hear that family is the one place
where they have to take you in, but queers know
that's a lie. For us, it is often the place from which
we were first cast out, a primal rejection.
We also hear that you can't go home again.
For many of us that seems far closer to the
truth. Yet for the majority of queers, "home" is
an uncertain middle ground where we are not
actively at war with our biological families and
yet are not fully accepted, either. That middle
ground can be the most isolating place there is.
We have to love our lives to survive in a world
that is fraught with very real and destructive social,
political and personal conflicts. We cannot love
our lives if we do not feel loved and supported.
That's what family is for-to affirm and validate
us. We must realize that sometimes our families
of origin simply cannot or will not provide that
safe and comforting place, that their disappoint~
ment in our being queer supersedes their love for
us. And that disappointment-even
if that is all
it is-is toxic and can make us hate ourselves,
or, at the very least, make us unable to accept
who we are.
I love my lesbian family, the handful of
women who have been with me through the
roughest and the best of times, who are always
there for me, as I am there for them. They are
my heart and have my heart. I would do anything
for them. They are the gift I give myself for the
holidays, and at every other point in the year. I
would be adrift without these women, who are
closer to me than anyone with whom I share
DNA. This season, consider whether that trip
home will make you feel good or bad, affirmed
or nearly destroyed. Consider whether the
people who share your DNA share your values
and your sense of self. Consider whether"home"
is a reality or just a word.
Holidays are for giving. Difficult as it may be
to learn to love ourselves and our lives enough to
do so, we must give ourselves the gift of a family
that accepts us and wants only the best for us. In
the chill of winter, as the year draws to a close,
perhaps we need to ask ourselves what will
warm us to our core. We need to embrace that,
rather than accept, for yet another year, being on
the outside looking in. ■
Marching Toward Equality
RobinMcGehee
(above,center)rocketed
ontothe nationalscenewhenshefounded
Meetin the Middle,a grassrootsmovement
mobilizingCalifornians
to demonstrate
for marriageequalityin Fresno,a town
in the state'sconservative
CentralValley.
McGehee,
an out lesbian,startedthe
movementaftershewasaskedto resign
herpositionas PTApresidentat herson's
Catholicschoolbecauseof herinvolvement
in the campaignagainstProp.8. McGehee
wentonto becomethe NationalCo-Chair
for lastOctober'sNationalEqualityMarch,
whichbroughtpeoplefromacrossthe
countryto Washington
D.C.to demandfull
equalityfor the LGBTcommunity.
oneperson'srightsoveranother.
Whatare the criticalissuesfacingthe
LGBTcommunityrightnow?
I thinkthat the mostcriticalissueis some
of ourowninternalizedhomophobia.
[There's]a hesitationon somepeople's
effortsto actuallyget involvedin what
our movementis workingon in termsof
full equality.I think somepeople[feel]
so comfortablein theirowncommunity
thatthey feellike theyhaveequality.They
don'treallythink aboutall the thingsthat
theydon'thaveequalityin.Theycanown
a home,theycanfeel liketheyhavesafety
in theirjob,theycanbecommittedto their
partnerandliveopenly.Butthey'renot
thinkingaboutthe fact that if theylivedone
Nationwide,
howdo youthinkthe LGBT stateovertheymaynot havethat option...
andnow[if] theylive in [California]
... they
communityis feelingaboutthe fight
don'thavethe right [to get married].
for marriageequality?
I think that peoplearefed up with the
Whatdo youwant to achievewith
fight that seemsto be a piecemeal
the march?
Thegoalis thatthesepeoplecomeback
approach.AndI think that peopleare
gettingto the pointwhereit's like,enough to their communities,
we re-engagethem
is enough.Weare a fabric of this comoncetheyget backhome,andthenwe
munity... as [muchas] our next-door
sayOK,nowyourexpectation
is to create
neighborwho... enjoysequalitythat we're a teamof peoplethat arelobbyingaround
particularlegislationthat we knowalready
still denied.AndI think morepeopleare
beginningto be willingto fight back.I
exists,with the hopethat we'regoing
think thereis a galvanizingof a baseof
to gainenoughmomentumthat somepeoplewho are unwillingto just lookat
one,eithera BarneyFrankor a Tammy
beingacceptedas out as enoughanyBaldwin... writessomethingthat we can
more.Wereallydo wantthe sameequality get behindandlobbyto getthat bill signed,
andwe don't wantto haveto prioritize
a fully inclusivebill. [RachelBeebe]
December 2009
I23
LESBOFILE
Heartbreaksand Heroines
Jodie is single, Katy gets schooled and the Queen likes a good lap dance. By Jocelyn Voo
BreakUp,or BreakIn?
However, the reality show suddenly took an
unexpected twist in April when rumors of
the Gosslin infidelities surfaced. Though they
both denied the allegations, after 10 years of
marriage, the reality couple filed for divorce.
But here's the Sapphic twist: According to
RadarOnline.com, Jon's new gal pal, Hailey
Glassman,
has an ex-girlfriend who claims
Glassman will ruin Jon's life."You are wasting
your time with Hailey. She'll destroy you;'
says Joy Lawlor, who dated Glassman for
three years.
According to Lawlor, Glassman is famehungry, and "anyone, be they male or female,
is a target:'
The two women met through MySpace,
where Glassman indicated that she was a
lesbian student at Indiana University. When
Glassman enrolled in the school, "We became
close and began making out in my apartment.
Soon she told me she loved me:•
However, it quickly became apparent
that Glassman loved other things, too.
TheExFactor
Besides having a strong affinity for cocaine
A little background, m case you're one of and marijuana ( she was later busted on
the few who somehow manages to avoid drug charges), "having one girl clearly wasn't
reality TV and therefore missed out on the enough for Hailey;' Lawlor recounts. "She
Jon & Kate Plus 8 paparazzi frenzy: Jonand kept begging me to have threesomes with
Kate Gosselinare parents of eight young her and another girl:'
kids ( twins and sextuplets) and star in a
Suddenly, this wholesome reality show just
TLC reality show documenting their lives. got a whole lot more interesting.
Rule o. 1 of the on-again, off-again club:
Change the locks. SamanthaRonsonmight
have learned this the hard way because, despite
their latest split, Lindsay
Lohanis still making
house calls.
According to the Sun, Lohan found herself
locked out one night after losing her keys. A
locksmith was called to lee her in. However,
once the locksmith started working on the
door, Lohan did what any enterprising
crazy-girl would do: found an open window
and said, "You know what, sir, we already got
in, thanks. We just broke in. We just found a
way in:' Lohan then refused to pay the locksmith, saying that the man's $300 fee was
unreasonable since he hadn't done anything.
Then, after offering the man a twenty, she
entered Ronson's house without paying the
man at all.
What, Lindsay-your
line of spray-can
not paying the bills?
24
I curve
Bythe Numbers
Forbes released its 2009 Most Influential
Women in Media list, and EllenDeGeneres
snagged the No. 4 spot (after Oprah Winfrey,
Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters). However,
not to be outdone, OnePoll.com released
its Ultimate Lesbian Heroine results, with
bisexual hottie AngelinaJolie claiming the
top spot. Out of the 2,600 lesbians polled,
the Brad Pitt paramour and mother of six
was the clear choice, beating out celebs like
Madonna
( o. 2), MartinaNavratilova
(No. 4),
EllenDeGeneres
( o. 5), AnnieLennox
( o. 8)
and ToriAmos( o. 15).
fi5'
LU
TheKiss-Off
Het singer KatyPerrymight've sung about
kissing a girl and liking it, but the sentiment
isn't the only thing that's false-so, apparendy, was the originality. Singer-songwriter
JillSobulealso wrote a song tided "I Kissed a
Girl" ( though with a different tune and lyrics)
back in 1995. Then, 13 years later, Katy Perry
came out with her song-and claimed that
the name came to her in a dream.
According to The Rumpus.net Sobule is
not a fan. However, Perry's fame wasn't the
catalyst for the hard feelings. Instead, what
irked Sobule was that Perry had written
the song with the same team of writers that
Sobule had used, and that both of them were
a:
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So what does Sobule have to say to Perry?
"Fuck you, Katy Perry, you fucking stupid,
maybe 'not good for the gays; title thieving,
haven't heard much else so not quite sure if
you're talented, fucking little slur:'
'Nuff said.
She Said
Ladies'Night
It's long been speculated that Queen
Latifahand
her personal trainer Jeannette Jenkins, with
whom she shares a home, are a romantic item.
However, Latifah has consistently denied the
claims, telling Ebony magazine in 2007, "No
comment on that at all. I'm done commenting
on all that .... It's ridiculous:'
Sure, it'd be ridiculous-except
for the
fact that it keeps coming up. The National
Enquirer reported that Queen Latifah and
some female friends recently enjoyed a night
in with a curvaceous stripper, who treated the
gals to a full-frontal show. In fact, the spectacle got the girls hot enough that some of
them started hooking up with each othernot an uncommon occurrence, according to
the source.
This kinda gives a whole new meaning to
hailing the queen.
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Hollywood
Ending
We love a happy Hollywood ending, and it
looked like we were going to get one out of
JodieFoster
and her partner of 14 years, movie
producer Cydney
Bernard.
After staying mum
on the topic (despite their matching Tiffany's
rings and their two kids, whom Foster birthed
and Bernard adopted), the actor finally publicly acknowledged Bernard as "my beautiful
Cydney" in an awards ceremony speech.
But just five months after the proclamation,
Foster allegedly ended the relationship due to
a series of rows that the couple had, according
to the National Enquirer. Then the tabloid
reported that it was something far juicer-an
affair. Foster had allegedly been seeing TV
writer Cynthia
Mortever since the two had met
on the set of The Brave One two years ago.
The drama did not end there for the twotime Academy Award-winning actor. Mail
Online reports that Mort, following a series of
arguments, moved out and returned to her ex
Amanda
Demme(widow of movie director Ted
Demme)who has also been linked to Lindsay
Lohan.So, are the credits rolling? Ready the
Kleenex, ladies-this one is a tear-jerker. ■
December 2009
I 25
ALEXANDERHAFEMANN
Scenes
from Tahiti:
A picturesque
river and
Tahitian girls
fishing
2s
I curve
OR A LOT OF LESBIANS, fighting for same,sex mar,
riage rights is making a political, albeit abstract, statement.
We know everyone should have that right, and when our
friends want to line up at the altar, we want their relation,
ships to be legally recognized. But I never thought that I
would want to get married. Ever. Until I did.
And it hit me like a truck-a desire to make a commitment
and spend my life with my newfound love, Jenna. Instead of
high tailing it to Iowa or Massachusetts, though, we flew to
the most beautiful place on earth: Tahiti.
The island of Tahiti is the hub of French Polynesia,
which comprises some 118 islands covering an area about
the size of Europe. There are five groups of islands-the
Society Islands, Gambier, the Marquesas, the Tuamotu
Archipelago and the Australes. Governed by France, the
islands have two official languages, Tahitian and French,
but because the main industry in Polynesia is tourism,
many people speak English as well. The farther you get
from the island of Tahiti, though, the more remote it gets
and the less English you hear.
Tahiti is the perfect wedding destination because it's far
enough away to feel like you're really taking break from your
everyday life, but it's still surprisingly easy to get to. Tahiti's
Faa'a International Airport is just an eight,hour flight from
Los Angeles, so if you're starting off from the West Coast
as Jenna and I were, you just have lunch, a movie, a nap and
you' re there.
FEELING THE LOCAL LOVE
Having never been to Tahiti, I had images of Marlon Brando
groping gorgeous Polynesian women dancing in my head and
I feared it would be as touristy as Waikiki, only with a longer
flight. I was happily mistaken. There are no over,developed
beaches, no crowds and very little commercialism. But the
most marked difference is the local people. Everyone is
so flippin' nice, it's like they are really, truly happy. And who
wouldn't be, living in a place with relatively no crime, a high
standard of living and stunningly beautiful vistas everywhere
you look. It seems as though the worst thing the Polynesians
have to put up with are the taxes. Everything for sale is
heavily taxed except staples like rice, sugar and flour. Lunch
usually cost us about $50 for two, and often it was more
like $70. We managed to save some dough by bringing a
big bag of snacks from home and swiping the fruit from the
front desk at the hotel.
Q1JEERING PARADISE
We learned about gay life in Tahiti fairly early. There may be
a gay scene in the capital city of Papeete, but we didn't see it.
That's not to say it isn't a welcoming island for lesbians; we
felt totally accepted and safe throughout our trip. Traditional
Polynesian culture includes a third sex, referred to as the
mahu. These are boys who are born into families with few or
no female children and are therefore raised as
girls. Although not all mahus are gay, there is
a traditional respect for gender flexibility and
an understanding of sexuality as a spectrum.
We got only one dubious look during our trip,
and that was from a European guy in a waytoo-tiny Speedo.
into a bug-free room in the main hotel, where
we slept peacefully. The next day, the hotel
stripped the thatched pandanus-leaf roof off
our bungalow and burned it to eliminate the
problem, and mercifully relocated us to an
equally gorgeous, critter-free, over-water bungalow for the rest of our stay.
SO MANY HIGH POINTS
The highlights of French Polynesia are too
many to list, but they included taking a
thrilling tour of Bora Bora with Miki Miki
Jet Ski; swimming with dolphins on the
island of Moorea; snorkeling with blacktipped sharks, giant clams, eight-foot giant
moray eels and a huge school of snappers in
the coral-ringed lagoon of Rangiroa; opening
coconuts and squeezing the milk directly into
our eager mouths; taking an incredible boat
ride under the stars; and eating poisson cru,
which is raw Tahitian tuna marinated in coconut milk and lime juice. Another highlight:
Tahiti is known for its stunning, unusually
shaped black pearls, which come in a rainbow
of colors-from gold to pink and green to
nearly black-so while we were on Moorea
we bought pearls for every woman in our
lives (and, of course, for ourselves). Spending
a few days on the island of Tahiti to shop and
explore is a must, but not visiting the other
islands is like going to Disneyland and not
leaving the hotel.
THE BIG DAY DAWNS
Jenna and I had our wedding on the island
of Bora Bora. Our traditional Tahitian
commitment ceremony on the beach was
organized entirely by our hotel, the superchic InterContinental Bora Bora Resort and
Thalasso Spa. This eco-friendly hotel has the
nicest rooms either of us has ever stayed in.
On our big day, we were each taken to our
own room and dressed in traditional Tahitian
wedding pareos. Pareos are essentially large
cloths that Polynesians wrap around themselves in a zillion different ways to make
beautiful dresses, wraps, skirts, tops and even
swimsuits. Our wedding pareos were a very
bright white. My dresser wrapped the one
around my waist into a simple skirt, and
worked some magic with a second, creating
a dramatic, shapely top with a strap over one
shoulder and a train down my back. I have
THE ONLY LOW POINT
One of the pleasures of the trip was the
gorgeous, private, over-water bungalow we
stayed in on each island, but, we learned the
hard way that not everything is perfect in
paradise. One night, as we were snuggling
in bed, we noticed a couple of rather large,
tropical cockroaches crawling on our ceiling.
Mind you, these were not the small creepy
insects you find on the mainland. These were
enormous, sumo wrestler-style roaches. We
called housekeeping and when our uninvited
guests had been evicted, we settled in for the
night. Around 2 a.m., though, my badass
butch fi.ance bolted out of bed, frantically
slapping off a giant roach that had crawled
under the covers to snuggle up against her
leg. I screamed, threw the lights on and saw
a small herd of roaches on the walls and
floors-there was even a bug on the toilet
paper. We grabbed a few essentials and fled
Higb[igbts
induoeo
takinga jet skittour1
swimming
witboo[pbins
anosnorkeling
witbb[acktippeosbarks
1 eigbt-foot
mora;9
ee[sanoa buge
scboo[
of snappers.
no idea how she did it, but I've never felt
more gorgeous.
We also wore fresh flowers behind our
ears. Flowers are used like wedding rings in
Tahiti, with a twist. A bloom behind your left
ear means you are taken, behind your right
means you are available. Wearing a flower
behind your ear turned backwards (with the
stem pointing out) means that you are ready
for action (wink, wink). With my pareo in
place and a bloom tucked behind my left ear, I
was met at the back door of our bungalow by
an outrigger canoe that took me to the beach
where the ceremony would be.
SAYING
"I 00"-THE
TAHITIAN
WAY
During the ceremony, we were serenaded by musicians
playing traditional Polynesian love songs and accompanied
by beautiful dancers as well as two boys blowing conch shells.
We received a blessing from a Polynesian priest, exchanged
flower leis and crowns, promised to love and be grateful for
each other and cried big sappy tears of joy.
The priest tied long thick palm leaves around each of our
wrists to symbolize our union, saying, "Ua riro orua ei ho'e,"or,
"The two of you have become one:' We were given fresh coconut punch to drink while we were wrapped in a giant green
and red tifaifaiquilt and treated to another dance.
Finally, we climbed back into the outrigger and returned to
our beautiful room to find a bottle of champagne, a custommade vegan wedding cake and our bed covered with flower
petals. We felt thoroughly spoiled.
Taking the time before our wedding to get away-without
cell phones and email-turned
out to be a really good thing.
Jenna and I were able to completely connect with each other
and focus on the point of our wedding. While we were in
French Polynesia, we wrote our wedding
C
'-
i(
~
V
s
s
fi
vows; planned for another, more formal
'
ceremony to be held with our families,
about a month later in a less tropical locale;
and built up our strength to keep us from
turning into fearful bridezillas as the official big day approached.
Tahiti and her islands were such a gift
to us. There is a Tahitian word we are still
repeating: mauruuru, pronounced "mahroo-roo:• We aren't sure if the intonation is
more like "Scooby Doo'' or "Hey, Boo Boo;'
but we happily butcher it daily. It means
"thank you" and it captures perfectly the way
we feel about our time in Tahiti. ■
t1
n
r
Cozy chairs at the lnterContinental Bora Bora Resort &
Thalasso Spa (top); vegan wedding cake (right); discovering
the bed strewn with petals
GETTING
THERE
WHAT
TODO
We flew with Air Tahiti Nui. (airtahitinui-usa.com)
Tahiti: Shopping at Marche Municipale in
Papeete (marchemunicipal.qc.ca)
WHERE
TOSTAY
Moorea: Moorea Dolphin Center
(mooreadolphincenter.com)
Tah " Le Meridien Tahiti and lnterContinental Resort
(starwoodhotels.com, tahiti.intercontinental.com)
o ea: lnterContinental Moorea Resort & Spa
(moorea.intercontinental.com)
Bo a Bora: lnterContinental Bora Bora Resort &
Thalasso Spa (borabora.intercontinental.com)
Rang1roa: Hotel Kia Ora (hotelkiaora.com)
30
Icurve
Bora Bora: Tahitian wedding ceremony;
snorkeling and spa treatment at Four Seasons
Hotel and Spa; jet ski with Miki Miki
(borabora.intercontinental.com, fourseasons.com/
borabora, boraboraisland.com)
Rangiroa: Diving or snorkeling tours with Hotel
Kia Ora (hotelkiaora.com)
•
I
Short on gift
ideas? Curve's
got you covered
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find out what our
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tree or by the
menorah this
holiday season.
ph.o
•
er1c
Makeup: Jackie Schneider
Hair: Topher Gross
Styling: Anna Conlan
Models: Liz Dahmen {front, sitting)
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takeonteamaking.($200,
sorapot.com)
31.Odeto OldeTimes
Votico's
Clementine
& Clovecandleis reminiscent
of a bygone
erawithcoarsely
chopped
cloves,
fresh
cinnamon
sticks,dashes
of blackpeppered
nutmeg
andfreshthymesprigspairedwithzestyclementine.
Justtryto resistbeltingouta carolwhenyousmellit.
($30,votivo.com)
32.X-RatedXmas
TrimyourtreewithPornaments
bytheDirty
FlirtyNovelty
Company-sonaughty,
yetsonice.
(pornoments.com)
33.HoldYourLiquor
HulaWobbling
Tumblers
will jiggle,butwon't
spill.Availablein setsof fourwarmor coolcolors,
they'regreatfor holidaypartiesor anyoccasion.
($30,vat19.com)
34.Control
YourRemote
TheRemote
Control
BoxfromKangaroom
is a handy
wayto keepyourremotecontrolin itsplaceanda
goodexcuse
to displayanotherphotoof yourkitty.
($25,kangaroomstorage.com)
28.Conversation
Piece
Straight
outof yourfavoriteoldmovie,the
Crosley
KettleDeskPhoneis a push-button
take
onthevintageclassic.($50,crosleyradio.com)
35.NeatFreak
ForthetypeA personality
onyourlist,the Gorky
WallOrganizer
willturna blankwallintoanorganized,
efficientholdall.Bonus:Themediapocketshave
hiddencordslotsto hideuntidycables.($30,kangaroomstorage.com)
0
Cf)
~
29.NaturalIllumination
Crash
Candles
aresoycandleswithgraphic
2i designs.
Theylookgreatandthe
~ naturalscentssmellheavenly.Our
~ favesinclude
twig,sandalwood
~ forestandcedarrings.($17andup,
crashcandles.com)
[
Cf)
Decembe
2009
I35
bath.&.beauty
•
48.LovelyLotion
Japanese
Quince
HandLotion,
witha double
tassel
around
theneck,isa greatno-wrappingnecessary
gift.($25,sedafrance.com)
49.JustSayYes!
39.Powder
YourNose
YesToCarrots
products
(liketheCMe
Elizabeth
Arden's
Mineral
Powder's
portable
grinder
LipBlush
Tintandfacialkits)areorganic
compact
isperfect
fortravel.
($38,
elizabetharden.com)
andnevertestedonanimalsandthe
40.SexPotAlert!
BareEscentuals'
Buxom
products
willbringoutyour
innerburlesque
starwithInsideEyeLiner,
Lashliner,
andmoreforsmokyeyes.Madewith100percent
bareminerals.
($14andup,sephora.com)
36.MakeIt a BeautyHabit
Femmes
delightin anythingfromBeautyHabit,
includingDuWop
SunDropsLipstick(Twilight
Venom,inspiredbythefilm, is a crimsonlip stain
with a potentbite);cultfavoriteCrazylibellule
andthe Poppies,
solidperfumesticks
namedfor famouswomen.($16
andup,beautyhabit.com)
l
company
supports
womenathletes.
($4
andup,drugstore.com)
50.TansfromtheTropics
BodyMeringue
Bronze
GlowandTanAirbrushina Canoffera tripto Ibizawithout
thecostofairfare.
($38,sephora.com)
41.Carry-on
Color
TrishMcEvoy
LiquidFaceColor
isperfect
forcarefree
51.AllThatBuzz
travel.
Theoneclick-pen
brushoffersupcolorbut
Burt'sBeesPolkaDotPerfect
Mani-Pedi
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goodenough
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burtsbees.com)
42.Affordable
Indulgence
Pamper
yourself
inchocolate,
hotvanilla
fudge,Dead
SeamudandmorewithMontagne
Jeunesse
single- 52.EarthPolish(notpictured)
SpaRitual's
Sugar& Spiceor Everything
Nicevegan.
useMasques.
($2,montagnejeunesseusa.com)
eco-luxury
nail
polish
duos
make
great
stocking
37. Dyke-tastic
Scent
stutters.
($14,sparitual.com)
Nouveau
Paris,funfragrances 43.Read,Lather,
Repeat
thatcanbecross-layered
to
Fortune
Cookie
Soaps
withfortunes
inside.
Adorable.
53.FemmeFatal
createuniquescents.Feral
($20,fortunecookiesoap.com)
Guerlain's
Rouge
GLipstick
Compact,
for Menis apparently
withbuilt-inmirroranddesignby
superhotwithWest
44.In theBlinkof anEye
Lorenz
Baumer,
themosttalented
coastdykes.($75,
NeuLash
eyelash
enhancer
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to createfullerlashes.
Nowonder
celebs
willmakeyourgorgeous
lipstick
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lesbofeellikea femmefatalefrom
38.It'sBeginning
anoldnoirfilm.($45,sephora.com)
to Smella Lot
45.It's Electric(notpictured)
LikeXmas
MadewithNewZealand
Colostrum,
ElectricBody
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solidperfumesandbodyscrubs
(tryGardenia)
containnowax,
46.Naturally
Scrubbed
petroor animalproductsand
Created
withrenewable
ingredients
likepistachio
smelldelish.($18andup,
oil,GreenByNature'sBanana
SheaBodyScrub
soapandpaperfactory.com)
is yummy,andthecompany
givesonepercent
of theirannualsalesto theplanet.($10,
greenbynaturebeauty.com)
47.NoMoreScentOffenders
TurnthatfunkaroundwithTokyomilk
Honeyand
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BaumeGenereux
Diptyque
candles,lotionsandbalmandSaipuaCoffeeMint
Soap(madewithrealcoffeegrounds!)
($8andup,
beautyhabit.com)
drink
59.A TouchofTastyClass
Forthegourmet
(oraspiring
gourmet)
these
yummypickledolivesadda touchofsophisticationanddepthto anyholidaymeal.($5
andup,mcsweet.com)
54.High-Class
Cuppa
Infuse
yourholiday
withspecialty
teasfromZhena's
Gypsy
Tea.Welovetheorganic,
fairtradeEgyptian
mintgreenandthePinkTeasforWomen's
Health
whichpartner
Zhena's
withtheBreastCancer '
Research
Foundation.
($6andup,gypsytea.com)
55.FromBelgium
withLove
Givegourmetgoodness
with Chocolate
Molten
Cakeor 70%DarkChocolate
CherryHazelnut
BarkfromSaxonChocolates.
Yum.($18andup,
saxonchocolates.com)
56.Single-Serving
Buzz
Fora coffee-loving
lovedone,Senseo's
single-serve
gourmet
coffeemakeris a surefirepleaser.
Andthe
podscomein greatflavorslike,ViennaHazelnut
Waltz
andKonaBlend.($140,$32respectively,
senseo.us)
57.Naughty
Mixmaster
Getinthemoodwith a sexycocktail
madewith X-RatedFusion
Liquor-ultra-premium
Frenchvodkainfused
with bloodoranges,
mangosandpassionfruit-and
spenda hot night
in. ($26,xratedfusion.com)
58.Accessorize
YourCupof Cheer
Pairyourvinoor cocktail
with ChruffleWine
Pairingchocolatesor Cholive
cocktailchocolates
fromthe Cholive
Company-a classy
wayto compliment
yourglass.($9,
thecholive.com)
60.TimeforTea
Teatulia's
TulsiInfusion
Teablendsorganically
growntulsi(akaThaiholybasil)withclassicblack
teato createa slightlysweetspicycup.Thesame
company
produces
theexcellent
NovoCoffee.
($11,
teatulia.com,
novocoffee.com)
61. Bringin theHarvest
HarvestRoastPumpkinSeedsarenotthe
bleached
whitesaltythingsfrom?-Eleven.
They're
sustainable,
slow-roasted
withoutfatsor oilsand
availablein yummyflavorslikegarlicherb,chili
limeandhoneysesame.($2,harvestroast.com)
62.FrozenBliss
TheMr.Coffee
GaffeFrappe
coffeemakerwillwhip
upcafe-quality
chilledcoffeedrinksforthediehard
coffee-lover
onyourlist.($80,myfrappe.com)
63. Historic
Hydration
Inspired
bythecollection
at London's
Victoria
& Albert
Museum,
theV&AWaterBottleisn'tyourtypicalswig.
($10,wildandwolf.com)
64.Kitchen
Queen(notpictured)
HolidaysetsfromTspSpicesmake
perfecthostessgiftswith mixesincludingBirdin Hand(forthe Christmas
turkey),CookieJar (forgingerbread
treats),Peaceof the Pie,MullOverThis
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tspspices.com)
inoinskidspets
65.FetchThis!
Yourdogwill lovetheBOmi,
andsowill
~o~ •ot\6R/011¥1
you.Eco-friendly,
entirely
recycled
and
'-'
" •• non-toxic,
thisZogoflex
toywill letyouand
Fidoplaytug-a-warfor yearsto come.($1Oand
up,westpawdesign.com)
66. FineDoggie-Dining
Getyourfur-peoplethe OrganicDogBiscuit
Cookbook
with over100tail waggingrecipes
sureto keepyourpuppyhappyandhealthy($15,
bubbarose.com)
67. (Breast)PumpYourFistin theAir
Socially
conscious
teesforyourtots-sweatshop
free,non-PVC,
non-toxic
waterinks.TheI'll Change
theWorldSomeday
cottononesie,NoGuitarLeft
BehindthermalandMyMamma'sMilkIs Kosher
tee
will haveyourbabyspeaking
thetruthbeforesaying
a word.($25andup,tinyrevolutionary.com)
68. PoshPuppyPad
GiveFidoa littlestylethis yearwith a WestPaw
DesignTuckeredOutpremiumanimalprintdog
bed.($82,westpawdesign.com)
73.GreenPower
Loadsoftechunderthetreedoesn'thaveto mean
damaging
theenvironment.
Powerallthosefancy
newelectronics
withFuji'sneweco-friendly
EnviroMaxdigitalbatteries.
Madewithrecycled
packaging
andcontaining
noharmfulmercuryor cadmium,
they
arelandfillsafe.($5andup,greenfugi.com)
69.SayIt WithStyle
Shainsware's
colorful(recycled)
plasticbracelets
letyousaywhat'sonyourmind-and changeit
at will.Thinkof themasa statement
teemixed
witha Scrabble
game.($20,shainsware.com)
70.PuppyLove
Treatyourpoochto a healingspatreatment
with
thisall-natural
andcertified-organic
skincare
package.
Tenpercentoftheproceeds
to gothe
Progressive
AnimalWelfare
Society,
soyouand
yourpupcanbothfeelgoodaboutthepurchase.
($50,dermagic.com)
71.A HairBallKittyWillLove
Thiswild-haired
cattoywill haveyourfeline
friendjumpingforjoy.($7,westpawdesign.com)
72. CanYouHandlethe Heat?
Thekitchenjust gota wholelot
hotterthanksto Carolyn,
who
offersan arrayof vintageinspiredaprons,glovesand
gartersets.TheSafariSo
Goodsetwill haveherbegging
for seconds.($12andup,
carolyns-kitchenonline.com)
74.LiteandBright
Illuminate
theholidays
withtheICONRogueLED
flashlights,
perfectly
portable
andcool-looking
to
boot.Witha uniqueopen-airgripandaircraftgrade
aluminum
construction,
thislightis lite,makingit
idealforcamping,
outdooreventsorto havewithyou
justin case.($38andup,brightguy.com)
75.RockOutin Style
TheearbudsfromiPopperz
letyoulistento music
andexpress
somepersonal
style.Bonus:
themakers,
KoNo,
havepartnered
withtheVH1SavetheMusic
program.
Or,puttheseAudio-Technica
ATH-ON3W
PortableHeadphones
on your list. Designed
especiallyto fit women,they look andsound
great.($15,ipopperz.myshopify.com;
$70,
audio-technica.com)
tech.tools toys
81.SnapAway
Thecard-size
CasioEX-FS10
digitalcamera
packsa visualpunchwithits9.1megapixel
resolutionand30photospersecondburstshooting.
It
alsooffersanti-shake
technology
andhigh-speed
nightscenefeatures
andHDmoviefunctions
thatwillhelpbringouttheAnnieLiebowitz
inyou.
Or,getNikon'sCOOLPIX
S230.Taking
photosof
yourfamilyandfurbabies
hasneverbeeneasier
thanwithits smartportraitsystem.($350,
casio.com;
$230,nikon.com)
76.Partyof Five
Take
Wi-Fiaccesswithyouanywhere
withtheMiFi
2200Intelligent
MobileHotspot
fromVerizon
Wireless.
Supporting
upto fiveWi-Fienabled
devices,
andat
justaboutthesizeof a creditcard,it istheworld's
smallest
andmostconvenient
mobileWi-Fihotspot.
($150,
verizonwireless.com)
n. Haunting
Tunes
Speakal's
iBoois anadorable
iPoddockingstation.
Compatible
withall iPodandiPhone
models,
it makes
a greatpresent
foranyonewithanmp3playeranda
sense
offun.($80,speakal.com)
82.HotoffthePress
Thissleek,all-black
Epson
NX400
All-in-One
hasa 2.5inchtiltableLCDscreen
soyoucanprint
photos
withouta computer
andusesaninstant
dryinginkforperfect
snaps.
($100,epson.com)
83.MeetYourNewestTraveling
Partner
Thissexy60GBGarnet
RedEverio
Camcorder
from
JVCistheperfectcompanion,
withupto 75 hours
of recording.
($400,
jvc.com)
84.FierceSkins
Gelaskins
arethe21stcentury
equivalent
ofgiving
herfineart.Removable
skinsthataregorgeous,
78.Storage
ontheGo
andperfectforanydevicefromiPhones
TheMegaMemory
WatchUSB2.0is geeknirvana. provocative
to netbooks
(try"Scissors
andButterfly"byYosuke
Alongwithtellingthetime,thiswatchallowsyouto
byCaiaKoopman).
($30,
storedigitalfilesandmp3sandtransferthemto your Uenoor "Beguiled"
gelaskins.com)
computer.
($20andup,thinkgeek.com)
79.KeepLifein Step
NewBalance's
ViaActivityMonitorwill giveyoua
headstartonyourNewYear'sresolution
bykeeping
trackofjusthowmuchtrompingaroundyoudo.
Adjustable
to yourexactweightandgait,it countsall
yourmiles,sogoaheadandhavethatsecondsliceof
pumpkin
pie.($40,nbmonitors.com)
85.PowerToGo
ThePowercup
Inverter
is a cupof coffeeforyour
electronics.
Thissupercutecupholder-friendly
power
converter
letsyoupluginyourappliances
onthego.
($30,thinkgeek.com)
86.PumpuptheVolume
Kissyourweaklaptopspeakers
goodbye
withthe
B-FlexHiFiUSBSpeaker.
PlugsintoyourlaptopUSB
80.OntheRoad
Glideintothefuturein anAptera.
Thehigh- port,twists,bendsandallowsyouto listenatthe
USBSpeaker
efficiency
three-wheel
electricvehicle
now volumeofyourchoice.Or,trytheMVOX
available
forpreorder
in California.
Aerody- phonewhichmakesusingVOiPappslikeSkype
Voicea painless,
hands-free
namic,futuristicandvisuallyarresting,
this or InstantMessenger
($18andup,thinkgeek.com)
two-seater
hasroomforyouandyourlady. experience.
($25,000
andup,aptera.com)
87. EnjoytheView
Theultimateflat screenfor thetechnophile.
The
JVCTeleDock
LCDTVplaysvideosanddisplays
photosfromyouriPodandchargesit upto boot.
($1,150,jvc.com)
88.GetOrganized
NeatRecipts
is perfectfor anyoneburiedin
paperwork.
A mobilescanneranddigitalfiling
system,it canputthe mostjumbledofficein
order.($180,neatco.com)
play
89. Girl'sGotGame
Hotboardgamepicksfor bothwordo ersandthe
artistically
indinedwith ordOnTheStreetand
Backseat
Drawing.S25.otb-games.com
94.S eet Sounds
Foryourhoidaytunestry KristinChenoeth'sA
97. FunWithNintendo
Wii
LovelyWaytoSpendChristmas.
Putumayo's
A
Takepartin 12differentsportsand
FamifyChristmas
1nduding
Bg BadVoodoo
Daddy's
activities
withWiiSportsResort,
retro-s ngtakeon·1sZat ouSantaClaus?
·; lesbian including
wakeboarding,
bowlingandswordplay
Sharon
Ibsen'sJourney
totheNewWorld,
a collabora- ortry DeadSpaceExtraction,
theactionhorror
tionwithJoanBaez:
Ani□-Franco's RedLetterYear
experience
withpanic-inducing
sounds.
($20andup,
LP-a dassicinthe esbocanon.
nowo vinyl;or,for nintendo.com)
yournephew
whothinksClassical
musicsucks,get
TheGreatKat'sBeethoven
Guffar
ShredDVDa hot
98.BetheBestAuntie-Ever
gir1doingmetalto dassical.
{S13,shop.myplay.com; Ifyou'relooking
tothrillrugrats?
Nintendo
OShasa
S15,putumayo.com:
S12.shop.myplay.com;
S15,
number
offungames
fortheyoungsters:
DivaGirts
on
righteousbabe.com;
SB,greatl<atcom.
respectively) Ice,Discovery's
Puppy
Playtime
andPonyParadise.
For
90. arl<ing
Time
TheoutandproudAmazon
Dragon
?addling
Club
barealmost!allfortheir201Ocalendar;
Sarah
Kramer's
GoVegan!
201Ocalendar
hasveg-o-tastic
recipes:
andthe e oon201Ocalendar
is forthe
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womyn yourlife. S14andup.amazondragons.org,
Getridof holidaypudgewiththe tiFrtPlus,which
arsenalpulp.com.
indudes15ne dynamic
balance
games,
sixnew
yogapositions
andstrength
trainingexercises.
91. EarthFirst
~
100with 1iBalance
Board.
S20alone,
nintendo.com)
Fe coffeetabe books
areasgorgeousa ot SpotsRevisited:
Earth's
Biologically
Ric estand ost
96.H
ndSinker
Endangered
Te"estrial
Ecoregions
e Stri e s a realistic
70,pressuchicago.edu
a mo·onsensntro er so
e cas ng
360
du
a curve sta
puzzle
lovers,
theaddictive
Professor
Layton
andthe
Diabolical
Box,themindblowing,
innovative
ScribblenautsandtheartisticDrawntoLifefortheNintendo
OSaresurefire
winners.
Andthere'salwaysUpfor
Playstation.
($15andup,gamestop.com)
99.TheTopLesboDVDPick
Faceit: TheL Word:
TheAnalSeason
is whatevery
lesbian
wants.($39,sho.com)
pl
100.QuirkyGirls
Moveoverforourfaveonscreen
chicks:
The32 DVDcollection,
Ally
McBeal
TheComplete
Series,
30
RockSeason
3 (remember
whennna Fey'scharacter
wassohighshethoughtshemetOprah?);
Rachel
EvanWoodasMala,therebellious
teenheroine
in the
dreamy
animated
BattleForTerra,
whilethevoicesof
JaneLynchandQueen
LatifahrockIceAge3:Dawn
of theDinosaurs,
a movieabouthowyourchosen
familyisasimportant
asbloodkin.($200,fox.com;
$30,nbcuniversalstore.com;
$16,lionsgate.com;
$35,fox.com,
respectively)
101.Womenof Mystery
Don'tmissWirein theBlood:TheComplete
Sixth
Season,
thethrillerbasedoncharacters
createdby
bestselling
lesbian
novelist
ValMcDermid;
Helen
WestCasebook,
basedonbestselling
novelsby
Frances
Fyfield;
or Watchmen
Director's
Cut,thefilm
ofthehitgraphicnovel-SilkSpectre
joinsminding
blowingeffectsin a must-see
film.($60,e1entertainment.com;
$50,acornonline.com;
$15,warnervideo.
com,respectively)
102.Queers
onFox
Jointheglobalfanfestandget TheSimpsons:
Season
12.Marvelat gayAuntPattyandqueerguestsDrew
Barrymore
andLanceBass.GaybabyStewieis
DarthVaderin FamilyGuy:Something
Something
Something
Darkside,
a StarWarsspoofwithloads
of deleted
scenes.
And,forgeekygirlswho'velong
lustedafterLeela,getFuturama:
Complete
Collection
Bender
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103.TheRestForYourFamily
Food,
Inc.Thebestwaytoturnyourfriendsintovegetarians
before
thenewyear.($27,magpictures.com)
X-MenOrigins:
Wolverine.
Mutantsliveonthe
fringesof societyandareostracized
legallyand
sociallybyhumans-soundfamiliar?($30,fox.com)
Dexter,
Season
:l Theserialkillerhasa veryhot,very
gay-seeming
copsister.
Watchforher.($25,sho.com)
Reaper
Season
2 Homoeroticism,
gayneighbors,
cutegirl.'Nuffsaid.($32,lionsgateshop.com)
life onMars,Series2 Fansof theAmerican
edition
will lovethishighlyratedBritishversionwhichfeaturesanequallyhotpolicewoman
andbetterending.
($60,acornonline.com)
December 2009
I41
hatmadeyoudecideto goto rehab?
I definitely saw my life flying out of control. It wasn't my fault,
but I was kind of thrown into a life I wasn't used to at all-and
was trying to stay away from for a lot of years. I went through
the whole, "Who do I trust, who are my real friendst A lot
of people selling stories and a lot of people walking out of my
life. And the worst part was my family walking away from me.
When they walked out of my life-because my father didn't
agree with my lifestyle, I guess you could say-I kept spiraling
[out) of control, like, further and further, and it came to the
breaking point when I got cut off. I know they talk about tough
love,but it doesn't always work so well, you know:1People think
money is so amazing and you can do everything with it, but I'm
here to say that money does not buy you happiness.
a t •
Well, I think it was the whole press thing, when my father's
name is being brought into it. He's a businessman, you don't
see him and what he does in his personal life in the press.
When your father is a rock star or your mom's an actress,
it's a whole different type of nepotism. When your father is
a businessman, he doesn't want to be reading about all of my
little scandals that are going on. But, at the same time, neither did I. I imagined myself coming out in Variety or the
Hollywood Reporter, not as [just someone's) girlfriend. He
didn't ever want that for me.
have o
s witha arainof salt.
Exactly. I did Cattle Drive, one, for charity and two, because
I wanted to break away from being Terry Semel's daughter.
Bur once I saw what was going on with my friends and the
paparazzi, I just didn't understand how they dealt with it.
E
iall
o
s
Yeah, like Perez Hilton wrote about me and put [up) a picture,"Separated at Birth;' and it was me and Amy Winehouse
and-not to be rude about her or anything-but ... it really
hurt. Then I kind of got over it and ... I dressed up as Amy
Winehouse for Halloween, and it was like, "Thanks, Perez,
for my Halloween costume." That's kind of my way of saying, "Say what you want to say, but you're not going to affect
me anymore:'
OUthm
ng ?
Yeah, I guess I am known for having some serious anger issues.
But you can't always believe what you read, and the interesting thing about me is, I didn't have anyone on my defense. I
just kept reading and reading, and I didn't have a publicist,
I didn't have anyone to stick up for me. So, it was just me
sitting around reading stuff about me and, at the same rime,
having my father get more and more furious about these little
antics. So, I'm not really an angry person. I'm not. I just was
dealing with a lot in my life.
ouldI
g
r
And that's were Tila comes in. She was my best friend.
She was the only person who could understand what I was
going through.
According
to thegossipbiogsyou'vesleptwithallthemost
beautiful
womenin Hollywood
andeveryone-even
womenwho
ar,n esbi -wan
b 1,11• yo
I chink you fall in love with the person, and I always did look
for the best friend that you can do everything with-from
lunching to waxing. And I guess-let's just say, yeah, I guess
I'm kind of blessed. I don't know if you should believe every~
thing you read bur ... I'd like to say that I'm kind of like the
Don Juan of the lesbian world.
you,I wonderif thereisn'tjust
I can't even have a best friend because I guess I'm going to be
linked with them next. I read Brittny Gastineau and I may be
dating now, and Brittny is as straight as they come. So, I guess
I'm going to have to stick with my gay BFF in public, right:' I
would like to say that Lindsay and I would make a really hot
couple but, unfortunately, we were best friends and the media
kind of ruined that friendship.
Theme· a rnedit mto rela10nhip?
Let's put it this way, it's kind oflike another one of... my little
frenemies out there was protecting their own self and their
own relationship and threw us under the bus. But, for me,
it was like, I would go to an event and they would start to
say,"So, you and Lindsay aren't friends anymore;' and I'm like,
"Oh, really:'That's news to me:•
w
bigrep
cameoutafterward
andsaid
"I wasLindsay
Lohan's
firstlesbianloverandSamantha
Ronson
olehera ayfromm hile h wa ·n hab"
Yeah,I heard about that. And to be honesc ... none of that was
actually true. They didn't even get my age right. So it's just
been hard. I do want to be a voice for teens and it's hard, espe~
cially not having my own voice this past year, which is why I
want to set the record straight on a lot of things.
I t ruetha y
!ded ri H lton.
That would be false.
Howaboutyourrelat1onsh·p
withTilaTe uila?
We did have a really fun relationship; she was with me during
a time when I really had no one.
Wasthata loverelatioship.
Yes,it was.
W yd1 1 en
You know, people kind of go their separate ways.
You'e ba, oge er ithCa y John n o I h
?
Look, I have a tattoo on my arm that says,"Love is friendship
sec on fire"... we actually got chem together. She's the love of
my life.
Professionally
wha doyouconsider
yourself?
I think I'm a mini~mogul. .. a medium~mogul's spawn.
Wheredoyou an you car e o go?W o yo antto be?
I want to be the next Oprah, if chat's possible. I really want to
dedicate my life to helping teens. I always said you'll never see
me get a DUI, you'll never see me falling drunk out of a club,
you'll never see me get arrested, you'll never see that side of
me and, unfortunately, it did happen. I did take responsibility
for my actions ... but, at the same time, I chink, you know,
everyone scrutinizes Lindsay for everything she went through,
but they should thank her, because it shows you exactly what
not do to and how to get through it.
I wrote a book ... called Adolescent University and it is
basically my struggles through all adolescent issues and teen
issues that you go through. So, it's like the Go Ask Alice for
this generation. It's very real. It's very raw. It's straight out of
my diary. As for helping teens and stuff, I'm doing an advice
column with Hollyscoop which is called "Hey, Courtenay;' and
it's basically "ask me anything:'
Ae
p paredfortoughque tionsaboutthingslike xu lity?
There isn't a place or a person out there who is willing to be
honest about everything you're going through, and I wish I('d]
had someone co talk to chat was young and cool. It's like when
you're in school-you're not really listening to the teachers
when they're talking to you, but, say I walked in and told you
my story, you're going to listen way more. I'm ready. It's like,
"Bring it on, any question:'
Hollywood's Most Wanted continued on page 63
December 2009
I 45
-ACHE
ft
HEATHER THORSBY LONG DREAMED OF
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moving to California. A talented artist, the 36-year-old
native Tennessean had had a long career as a teacher, first
at an elementary school, then a high school, all while maintaining a gallery in downtown Franklin, Tenn.
Despite her success, she yearned for a change of scenerya place with different politics and more openness, where she
could be more creative with her art. In 2006, she began making plans to enroll in a master's program at San Francisco's
Academy of Art University. Just out of a five-year relationship, Thorsby was ready to move.
"I needed a change;' she said. "I wanted to dream big. So
I started researching schools for my senior students and for
myself' Not only was she accepted, but she also helped one
of her high school students to apply. That girl was accepted
and received a scholarship to Academy of Art University.
Thorsby and her then-17-year-old student, Ashley*, whom
she had mentored in art and coached in softball for the past
three years, had become good friends. Thorsby was fond of
Ashley's family, as well. It was not uncommon for the student
and the teacher to visit each other's homes.
So when they both got accepted into art school in
California, the two women planned to go together-"live it
up in California and become successful in our art careers;'
says Thorsby.
But their relationship took a different turn later that year
when friendship became romance. Though there had been
sexual tension between the two, 1l1orsby says she resisted
acting on it, and that it was Ashley who made the first move.
Thorsby says she never hid the fact that she was a lesbian
from Ashley's family; if the girl's parents suspected something was going on they never mentioned it, and she insists
that Ashley's mother even went so far as to encourage them
to live together in San Francisco.
The trouble began when Ashley's mother found explicit
text messages between the two, and confronted them. Even
though Ashley was 18 at the time, she was still a student,
and she and Thorsby confessed that their affair began when
Ashley was still 17. At first, according to Thorsby, Ashley's
parents did not report the affair, but they did cut off contact
between the two and said they would not allow Ashley to
move with her to San Francisco. (Ashley herself was unresponsive to interview requests at press time.)
It seemed like the dust had settled when, two weeks before
graduation, Ashley's parents reported the affair co the principal (who could not be reached for comment at press time).
From there the case went to the Williamson County District
Attorney's office. Thorsby was suspended from teaching,
arrested and indicted in November 2007 on seven criminal
counts, including three charges of statutory rape.
*Namechangedfor privacy
,A r.. r:v--.
Al\//'".
-rr)
11rr.
Thorsby's story is not unusual. Portland, Ore:s mayor, Sam
Adams, an out gay man, has been mired in controversy since
it was discovered that he had a relationship with a protege who
was, depending on whom you ask, 17 or 18 at the time. And,
Badbadteacher.com reports almost daily on alleged misconduct between teachers and students, while the consummate
web site WorldNetDaily has an exhaustive list of women like
Thorsby, female teachers who are being accused of inappropriate and illegal relationships with female students.
Twenty-eight-year-old high school physical education
teacher Erica Umosella of New Jersey pled guilty to charges
of official misconduct in 2008, despite what appeared co be a
consensual,month-long relationship with a 17-year-old girl.
In 2007, Jaymee Lane Wallace of Tampa, Fla., a high
school math teacher and coach, was sentenced to three years in
prison after it was revealed that she carried on an 19-month
affair with a then-15-year-old girl between 2002 and 2004.
Abigail Holloway, a teacher at St. Mary's Academy in
Englewood, Colo., was arrested in March for allegedly having a
long-term affair with a female student who is now in college.
Twenty-eight-year-old English teacher Chrissy Hisey was
arrested in Murrieta, Calif., last year for an affair she had
with a 17-year-old girl. The relationship reportedly began as
a friendship and then developed into a sexual one.
And, in perhaps one of the oddest cases, Elizabeth
Miklosovic of Grand Rapids, Mich., pleaded no contest in
2005 to the sexual assault of a 14-year-old girl she claims to
have married in a pagan ritual the year before.
n,-ppc
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1-f
An/
IN
s
The bizarre cases might make for easy headlines, but lesbians
often feel conflicted by the more nuanced cases, like those
of Thorsby or Helen Goddard. Goddard, a British music teacher and former child prodigy who performed at the
opening ceremonies of the 2000 Olympics, received jail time
for her lesbian relationship with a 15-year old student, which
included a romantic getaway to Paris. An anonymous tip led
co a raid of Goddard's house in Greenwich, England, where
police found the duo, seized their sex coys ( including "fluffy
handcuffs") and confiscated the teen's cell phone, which included a message from Goddard that read, "I love you. You
were on my mind all night:'
Goddard admitted to the affair, but both she and the
student claimed that the 26-year-old woman was pressured
into the affair; according to news reports, the prep-school
teen told her mom she had kissed Goddard first and now
feels guilty about the woman's conviction.
The larger surprise is that while Goddard went to jail,
December 2009
I4 7
was banned from working with kids and must
now register as a sex
offender, the judge
ruled that preventing
the couple from continuing their relationship would be
"unnecessary, unkind and cruel to
the victim:• Unlike
most perpetrators, Goddard
will be able to write to the girl
from prison and will be able to see her privately when she is
released
from jail. The girl will be at least 16 by then, the age
"f"' fl.ie h.a.ck
of consent in the United Kingdom. When the judge handed
o:: """'1 """i"'d,
down the verdict, Goddard reportedly did a triumphant fist
I dvess
f jvsf
pump in the air.
kepf fl.ii"'ki"'J
Women account for less than 10 percent of all sex offenfl.i.a.f """.a.theders, according to the most recent figures from the U.S.
1
Department of Justice. \Vhile it is possible that more cases like
fl.ie'1 II pvsli
these are coming to light, it seems as though the media takes a
vs ovf or
greater interest in reporting on women who carry out their af1
""1.a.'fhe +l,e'1 II
fairs with girls, often including sensational headlines and lurid
""1.a.ke vs .a. details. In fact, of the 479 cases of sexual assault by teachers
de.a.I or ""1.a.'fhe in 2008, female to female assaults accounted for less than 13
percent, according to U.S. Department of Education.
flie1'II
re.a.li2-e,
In its 2004 report, Educator Sexual 1\tfisconduct,
several dif'1ov k"'o~
ferent research studies "failed to find a consistent connection
+li.a.+if' S 11"\0f between sexual identification or sexual orientation label and
\A/ortli .a.II child sexual abuse:' What's that mean? Of the male teachers
having sex with male students, almost none identified as gay.
o.(: fl.iis."
And in the case of women, the report was murky because,
while the media likes to sensationalize cases like Thorsby's,
female-to-female assault is much rarer.
There are certainly cases of female-female rape, assault and
battery. Indeed, of the anacks by women, roughly 63 percent
of those were against girls. But frequently, the lines between
teacher and student, adult and young adult, consent and legal
consent get blurry, especially in an era when teens are sexually active and, according to the GLSE , many lesbian and
bisexual female adolescents now become aware of their sexual
orientation between 8 and 11 years old.
"I know there is an obvious age difference, but that is not
uncommon or by any means unrealistic in our eyes;• says
Thorsby. "We have openly discussed it many times and it's
not our issue. It seems to be everyone else's:•
Since her arrest, Thorsby has been depressed, but no less
defiant, and, believing all is fair in love, she hasn't shirked from
telling her story.
"I felt as if my heart was ripped in two, from disappointing
my family, my coworkers, my students, their parents and her
family;• Thorsby admitted on her arrest. 'Tve totally embarrassed my family.... Not to mention, it's torture every day
when we can't see each other:'
48
Icurve
HOT FC>k TEAC E:.Q
American culture has a double standard when it comes to
teacher-student relationships, consent laws and age differences.
Van Halen's song"Hot for Teacher;' sung from the perspective
of a young boy lusting after his, well, hot teacher, was a huge
hit in the 1980s (and still is in strip dubs across the country).
One of the most popular Halloween costumes is a naughty
schoolgirl, which presumably plays on the public's obsession
with the taboo. And let's not forget the 2006 indie lesbian film
LovingAnnabelle.In the film-a pretty big, albeit controversial,
hit that offered up a contemporary take on the 1931 German
classic Miidchen in Uniform-teenage vixen Annabelle falls in
love with her teacher, Miss Bradley and the two have an affair.
While it ends in Miss Bradley's arrest, the film does portray
their relationship in a positive light, a contradiction to the laws
that would paint all the Miss Bradleys as pedophiles. And, just
as Thorsby claims Ashley did, and Goddard claims her student did, Annabelle makes the first move.
Media and sociocultural institutions aside, consent laws
create even murkier waters. Underscoring the hypocrisy,
the age of consent for boys in some states (Indiana, Iowa,
Arkansas) is as low as 14; and in some countries it's as low as
12. The age of consent for girls in the United States, though,
is 16 in most states, 18 in several. Famous teens, from Miley
Cyrus to Jamie Lynn Spears to the Olsen twins, often have
highly public relationships with older men, despite being
under the age of consent. Though the public thirsts for their
stories in the tabloids, in "real life;•far away from Hollywood's
glow, the relationships between ordinary teens and their
adult lovers usually cause greater concern, leaving some teen
lesbians to question the hypocrisy of what they see.
NO 1-fAPPf ENPtN6
"I am sorry and I apologized for my lack of judgment and
control," says Thorsby. "I crossed a line and I am sorry, but we
just want to move on with our lives:•
Thorsby's lack of judgment has cost her. A year after the
charges were first filed, she pied guilty to three counts of statutory rape and two counts of sexual battery by an authority
figure. Today, though, Thorsby maintains her innocence.
"I did not rape anybody;· she says. "I did not initiate the
physical [contact] but eventually I did consent:' Thorsby continues to insist that she and Ashley fell in love. Admittedly, they
had bad timing, but she questions, Isn't love supposed to win?
According to the state of Tennessee, no. After a lengqiy legal
battle, much heartache and stress, and a guilty plea, Thorsby is
now serving three years in prison.
She still remembers the week she was indicted. "Everything
was just on hold. I had just started catching my breath and
getting back on track. And when I saw my face in the papers
and on the news again, that wasn't good. So that was pretty
hard to swallow. And in the back of my mind, I guess I just
kept thinking that maybe they'll push us out or maybe they'll
make us a deal or maybe they'll realize, you know, that it's not
worth all of this. But I guess they didn't:' ■
thenter
A Butch
of All Trades
Catching up with comic actor turned jazz musician Lea Delaria. By Bree Clarke
As one of the first openly gay comics to appear
on television (The ArsenioHall Showin 1993),
Lea DeLaria is known for her in-your-face
politicallyincorrect comedy, and she's become
a household name thanks to her TV roles
in shows ranging from Matlock and The
Oblongs
to Will and Graceand Law and
OrderSVU, as well as her recent role as
Madame Delphina on One Life to Live.
Her turns on the big screen, including
the highly acclaimed Edge of Seventeen,
introduced DeLaria to a larger audience,
whileher Broadway gigs made the boisterous butch well-known to the theater
crowd.DeLaria, an established musician,
is currently on a world tour to promote
her third jazz album, SmokeSessions.
that to their faces.I love going to gay bars there
because I have never felt thinner. I feel like the
thinnest, handsomest butch in the world.
Youhavespanned
thefullperformance
spectrumin yourcareer.Is thereonegenrethat
bestreflectswhoyouare?
Howdidyourroleas MadameDelphina
onOneLifetoLivecometo be?
I started on OneLife to Live 10 years ago.
I channeled [Dorian's) husband and we
made out. At the time-and
this will
probably get me in trouble- I think it
freaked ABC out a little bit and they
didn't put a lot of oomph behind it. It
was, like, a year later when (the media]
was, like, "The first lesbian kiss on daytime television;' and I was like, "Uh,
no, it's not:' Madame Delphina is really
well-liked. [They] write me the funniest
What I enjoy the most is the jazz. That's on a
shit-I mean, it's daytime, and it's funny.
more artistic level. I love the Broadway stuff,
Whatwasit liketo goto thePridefestivalin
though. I love being center stage and belting
yourhometown
of Belleville,
Ill.?
Oh, my God! Can you believe they have a a D sharp and watching everyone (look]
gay Pride in the town I grew up in? All these shocked that it came out of me. That's what's
most fun about it, just challenging people's
people I went to grade school with were there.
It was fucking hilarious. I fucking loved it. Of stereotypes. I am the personification of "don't
course, as soon as they hired me, they got a judge a book by its cover:'
Smoke
Sessions
putsa newspinonclassics.
call from the mayor's office because he was
Areyoutryingto introduce
jazzto a newgenconcerned about what I would say. Even in
eration
of
listeners?
my hometown, my reputation preceded me.
That's totally the idea with what I've done in
Youhave to understand how awesome it was.
the past. It's brought a whole new group of
All these hick queers-there's no other way
young people to my audience-young gay
to call thempeople, which is great, too.
Don'tworry,I won'twrite"hickqueers."
Didyoualwayswantto bea performer?
Oh, you can put it in there. I was calling them
Yes. I was singing into the hairbrush and the
vacuum, putting on shows. I went to college
for about a minute and then I moved to San
Francisco to pursue my stand-up career.
Didyoueverhaveanydoubts?
I was too young to have any doubts.
Wastherea backlash?
Yes! I had so much backlash in the
beginning.
Howdidyoukeepgoing?
I was just filled with rage, this little
punk-ass dyke ... with my shaved head
and my safety pins.
Anda chainwallet?
See, chain wallets hadn't come in yet.
But I had the boots. I was one mad
mutha-fucka. And I didn't really fit
in the scene that was prevalent in
San Francisco at the time. I was like
nothing they'd ever seen. The more
they criticized me, the worse I got. I
was hard for them to take.
Youprobably
saida lotof things
peoplewantedto say,butcouldn't.
That's what people say in the letters I
get, that I say what they wanted to say
but never had the guts to.
YouareonFacebook,
MySpace
andall
overYouTube.
Doyoutweet?
No, I don't. It's too much. Sandy
(Sandra Bernhard) is all over me to
Twitter. They're all on me. My manager's like,
"You've got to Twitter:' And I'm like, "I don't
got to do nothin';' you know? When do I have
time to write if I'm doing all this crap? I need
to be creating. You Twitter for me, honey! You
go Twitter away, baby.
What'splayingonyouriPod?
Now the iPod, I love. I'm listening to a band
called the Presets from Australia. I heard
them while I was down there touring. They
fucking blew me away.
Whatdoyouhaveonthehorizon?
The next thing I'm working on is called The
Dirty Martinis, which is a very campy, fun,
showbiz, jazz thing ... hopefully to open in the
Spring at Joe's Pub in NYC. ■
Encore. Encore!
We round up 1O great LGBT shows that have come and gone.
NoneoftheAbove
Watching Jennifer Lanier
on stage performing her
one-person show, it's easy to
imagine her having multiple
personalities-even more of
them than her two-spirit identity might suggest. Without the advantages of makeup or
costume changes, Lanier literally transforms
on stage, completely embodying a parade of
characters that range from her child-self to her
military father, known only as the Colonel.
Lanier, a Vancouver, Wash. lesbian also
known as Bruce the Drag King, is a classically trained actor whose most notable
gig was a four-year stint replacing Sally
Struthers as spokesperson for the Christian
Children's Fund.
Her play, None of the Above, is a lovely
historical exploration of race, gender and
sexuality in America and her own journey through childhood in the south. As a
tomboy who developed crushes on girls,
Lanier was acutely aware of her differences.
But it wasn't until Lanier was an adult that
she discovered why her hair was straighter
or why her skin was lighter than the other
African American children.
Rather than providing clarity, the knowledge of her mixed-race heritage pushed Lanier
farther outside the boxes and onto a journey of
self-discovery. None of the Above is the result.
It's a remarkable performance that burrows
into your brain and ruminates there for days.
A Beautiful
View
There is a lot to like about A Beautiful View,
which opened to a sold-out audience at San
Francisco's Theatre Rhinoceros. The play,
written by Daniel Macivor and directed by
Cristina Alicea, focuses exclusively on the
complex love relationship between two
women, including the lovable basketcase
Mitch, played by Jeanette Harrison. The
play follows the women through the ups and
downs of their 20s and early 30s, including
many questionable relationships, job opportunities, ukulele bands and camping trips. The
characters in A Beautiful View are frustrating,
emotionally tangled and totally authentic.
They also have a lot of fun. Don't be put off
by the fact that the play was written by a man.
Except for his penchant for feeding his lesbian
characters to large carnivores, Macivor has the
sensibilities of a damn fine woman.
TheNakedI:
Since it premiered
at Smith College in
2003, The Naked I:
Monologues From
Beyond the Binary
has been hailed as
"the transgender Vagina Monologues:' This
Eve Ensler-inspired play challenges societal conventions of gender and the body
through 18 monologues, duologues and
short sketches that recount the experiences of differently gendered people. Like
Ensler's play, the stories range from heartbreaking to hilarious. The award-winning
transgender playwright Tobias K. Davis
recently brought his show to a continually
sold out house at the Bedlam Theatre in
Minneapolis. This show helps put the spotlight on a community rarely seen in theater.
As one young FTM audience member wrote,
"I saw myself on that stage. I barely see myself
in the mirror:'
Bitch!Dyke!Faghag!Whore!
Creator and performance artist Penny Arcade
and a crew oflocally cast erotic dancers combine fresh adult entertainment and "political
humanism" in Bitch!Dyke!Faghag!Whore!, a
show as comedic, radical and joyously profane
as its name. Originally born out of the culture
wars of the '90s around sex and censorship,
B!D!F!W! continues to be ahead of its time,
with a queer message of unity and freedom of
expression that is crucial now, more than ever.
With a history of successful runs in 22 cities
internationally, B!D!F!W! just ended its stint
in San Francisco, and plans are underway for
a highly anticipated U.S. tour.
HeddaGabler
Mauckingbird
TheatreCo.,
It's a classic story-a
woman
trapped in a less than desirable
marriage is dissatisfied with
the life she's chosen, until her
true love walks back into the picture and
debauchery ensues. Only this time, said true
love comes in female form. Caroline Kava's
explosive new adaptation of Ibsen's classic
Hedda Gabler brings the question of sexuality
to the front of the playbill. Hedda (Jennie
Eisenhower) weds aspiring academic George
Tesman out of boredom, returning from
her honeymoon to find that her hubby's
rival, Miss Eilert Lovborg (Sarah Sanford),
has returned. Jealousy over Lovborg's ability to
love women openly and freely drives Hedda
to destroy the lives of those around her-as
well as her own. Kava's adaptation gives
5
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~
~
~
~
~
~
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~
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00
audiences a chance to see this classic play
as never before.
Babe:
AnOlympian
Musical
Scottsdale
Centerf
erforming
Arts,
Beforethere was Martina Navratilova, there
wasBabe Didriksen, a queer female athlete in
the 1940s who challenged the gendered bias
of professional athletics. Despite the social
obstacles of her gender, sexuality and class,
Babewent on co win three Olympic medals
and helped found the Ladies Professional
Golf Association. Babe: An Olympian
Musical celebrates this athletic pioneer's
accomplished life with a "big, brassy" ( read:
butch) cast. Striving to "do for theatre what
Babe did for sports: break the gender line;•
playwright-lyricist Carolyn
Gage and composer Andrea
Jill Higgins have collaborated to create the first
ever mainstream musical
featuring a leading masculine woman with a lesbian
loveinterest. Concert readings in Arizona and
Minneapoliswere hits; Gage is currently looking
fora home for her groundbreaking play.
Dykes
onMies
For a doubled-over theater experience, catch
er a performance of Dykes on Mies. Produced
~ by two New York-based comedians, Leah
a:
~ Dubie and Amy Beckerman, Dykes features
~ rotating queer (and queer-friendly) stand-up
ffi acts and has made a side-splitting impact
g on the Northeast comedy scene since its
~ November '07 launch. Past Dykes performers
~
Q also seen on LOGO and Comedy Central
~ include Gloria Bigelow, Jackie Monahan,
~ Margaret Cho's tour-mate Ian Harvie, Brad
~ Loekle and Diana Yanez. These performers
~ were featured in the LOGO documentary
Q.
~ Out in the City and bared all for the cause
t
~
a:
~
(!)
~
2
~
(if
ID
;
(/)
~
~::i
:.:
it
I:
0
0
(/)
during their topless comedy benefit, Generosititties, which raised money for breast cancer
research in 2008.
V-Love
Hu
V-Love is a virtual kitchen sink theater production, complete with singing, dancing,
burlesque, beat-boxing and spoken word.
Billed as a "multimedia cabaret;' this play
tells the tale of six women who "sing, dance
and talk their way through some sticky situations:• Among the cast of characters is Dr.
Gorgeous, a sex columnist and housewife
who moonlights as a stripper and Miss North
Dakota, a dirty-mouthed debutante who
MCs the show. Written by Lucille Scout and
starring burlesque icon Dr. Lucky and sexy
actress Glenys Javier, V-Love had audiences
swaying in their seats, tapping their toes and
even participating in the action.
NeverAfter
Behold a tale of woe and adventure for a fatedfrom-birth lesbian. Written and composed by
Colleen Campbell, Never After: Not Your
Grandmother's Fairytale Musical is the story
of Princess Lesley Ann (Cheryl Bellows), a
damsel who's not too keen on princess life in
the kingdom of Generica. A tale of self-discovery complete with dragons to battle and
unexpected love to conquer, Never After truly
is a far cry from your classic bedtime story.
Dykeotomy
forSexandCulture,
Kimberly Dark is a professor, poet, performer and
self-described "pop-socialise:•
Her most recent one-woman
show, Dykeotomy, spins a
poetic tale of modern gender
confusion. Told in highly crafted, and often
hilarious, narratives, Dykeotomy tackles everything from awkward strap-on sex to tales of her
own dating life. But the performance isn't just
about dildos and dating, Dark's academic
side comes through with explorations of biology and gender. If you're looking for a comedic
but cerebral play, Dykeotomy will fit the playbill. [JacobAnderson-Minshall,
Kimberly
Bale,
BrianaHernandez,
SassafrasLowrey,Heather
Robinson,
KristinA.Smith,YanaTallon-Hicks] ■
Breaking Gender
on Stage
The Spotlight
Shines on Cohn
The playwright-cum-advice columnist
Ms. Behavior dishes. By Kelsey Chauvin
Meryl Cohn has a dual personality: She writes award-winning plays
performed for sold-out audiences and dishes out advice under the guise
of her alter ego, Ms. Behavior. Her most recent play, And Sophie Comes
Too, stood out at the New York Fringe Festival for its saucy peek into
the dysfunctional lives of three sisters-replete with sexual trysts, gender
bending and a comatose mother. Meanwhile, her alter ego's syndicated
advice column and book, Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior's Guide to Gay and
Lesbian Etiquette, remains a font of wisdom for those who appreciate wise
counsel laced with sass.
Issues of gender identity are coming to the fore in the theater
thanks to the work of two powerful trans writers and performers, Scott Turner Schofield and Kestryl Cael. Drawing
on their own experience as trans men, these two produce work
that places trans issues center stage.
As a woman, Schofield was a debutante-almost
a homecoming queen. Schofield grew up in the South and learned the
virtues of grace and charm. As a senior in college, Schofield
set out to "tell a story that [he] wasn't seeing told:' Since
then, he has completed a performance trilogy that includes
Underground Transit, Debutante Balls and his latest, a one-man
show, Becoming a Man in 127 EASY Steps. Schofield says the
core of his performance is "about storytelling. Once you get
that, everybody sees the humanity in each person:'
As a freelance theater critic and community activist, Cael
utilizes his art in the "pursuit of his own masculinity:' Cael
hopes his one-man show XY(T), a combination of ethnography and autobiography, will give his audience the
opportunity to explore gender in ways they hadn't considered
before. "I want them to think critically. I want to help them
find more questions;' says Cael. According to him, "Life is a
series of transitions, none of which ever fully end:'
Both artists are working on new pieces. Schofield will use
grant funding to develop a piece that presents underground art
created during the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s and explores
the financial difficulties of being an artist today. Cael's next
piece, entitled 348, will expose the world of forced institutionalization based on his own experience at a lockdown facility
where he "hardly went outside for seven months:'
We look forward to seeing more provocative art from both
of these stellar performers. [Frances
Yee)
) Readexclusiveinterviewswith SchofieldandCaelat curvemag.com
Whatthemesdidyousetoutto explorewithAndSophieComesToo?
Some playwrights start with a theme in mind, but I usually begin with
characters or relationships. In the case of Sophie, I started writing a short
comedy about three very opinionated sisters trying to decide how to take
responsibility for their mother. I grew fond of the characters and didn't
want to let them go, so I decided to develop it into a full-length play. The
theme of And Sophie Comes Too is transitioning. Each of its three sisters ...
[is] at a turning point in life when a crisis arises that isn't very convenient.
Ultimately, the play is about waking up-both
literally and metaphorically-and becoming fully conscious.
Theplayexplores
lesbian,
transandqueerissues.Doyouthinkit alsoappeals
to non-queer
audiences?
And Sophie Comes Too explores universal issues and family relationships that
everyone can relate to. Of the three sisters, one is straight, one is gay and one
is trans. All three are engaged in their own very vibrant lives while having
to deal with their mother. Many of the issues in the play-growing older,
becoming yourself despite the expectations of others, sibling rivalry, belonging even when you feel different-are universal.
What'snextforyou?
I've just written my first rock comedy musical, called Insatiable Hunger,
which will star Lea DeLaria and is being produced
this October in Provincetown. I was blessed
with wonderful musical collaborators,
Billy Hough and Sue Goldberg, who
are very talented musicians based in
Massachusetts.
Howhasyourexperience
assassy
advicecolumnist
Ms.Behavior
affected
yourplaywriting?
It's actually not a great leap for me
to go from advice columnist to
playwright. As Ms. Behavior, I primarily write about relationships.
Whether the question is about
sandwiches, neighbors, sex toys or
thwarted love, there's nearly always a
relationship issue at stake. Of course her
playsare all about relationships. When someoneasksfor advice, they often don't know what
theywant, which means I have to think about
that question, too. When you're writing a play,
youhaveto know what each of your characters
wants.It's a very similar mindset.
I need
someadvice.
Howshouldanaverage
theatergoer
congratulate
artistsaftera show?
What
if shehatedtheplay?
If you like a show and are inclined to congratulate artists, don't be shy-do it. If you
Let's Get
Naked
f
~
~
I
~
~
!!;
Fiercely sexy theater maven Odalys Nanin
has long been lusted after by L.A:s lesbians,
but now the rest of us are falling in love with
the Cuban playwright as well. Between being
the first lesbian ever to produce the long-running off-Broadway musical revue Naked Boys
Singing, and writing and directing her new
play,Naked in the Tropics, which premieres in
January,Nanin has had a very busy year. She
took a break from all the madness to give us
the lowdown on everything Naked.
Get a
feel awkward because you
sneakpe
didn't care for the show, but
at And So
ComesTc
feel obligated to say something-when
an artist is
standing right in your path, for
example-try to come up with
something specific you liked about the show.
If you really hated the show, you may have to
dig deep and change the subject. For example,
"I really liked the lead actor's blonde wig. Do
you know where I can get one like that?" ■
Whatisyournewplayabout?
and it's going to be outlined this way and I'm
Naked in the Tropics is about this young going to write this in. I don't write like that. I
17-year-old who wants to be a dancer, and don't believe in that. I believe in channeling
he gets misguided by this ... dealer who gets the voices of the characters in the story and
him addicted to crystal meth. However, his letting them talk as they come. I think when
mother-who is a lesbian who just came I write my plays I like to entertain the audiout-is oblivious to his life. He's living a ence, but I also like to enlighten them, educate
double life in a way, and what happens is the them and bring certain themes that they are
play is going to explore-because he does get not very familiar with.
busted-[ to] what extent a mother's love can Is thereanyof yourownstoryin thisplay?
Well, like Ernest Hemingway said, "good
sacrifice everything for her son.
Sounds
likea greatdealofsocialcommentary. writing is true writing:' He meant that it
It's going to expose certain things that are comes from an inner experience of the writer.
I have dramatic license and freedom, and I
happening that most people don't know
about. Also, it's going to expose and explore create my story. It's not based on reality, but
the situation of our teens in America ... how it's kind of based on experience of certain
they get so easily misguided and fall prey to things that I've seen and that I've had contact
with. So it comes from chat.
this kind of con artist.
Doyouthinkqueerteensaremoreeasilymisled Canyougiveusa littletasteof whatNakedin
is goingto belike?
because
theyalready
feelsooutofplaceintheir theTropics
You're
sitting
in the theater. The first opening
highschool
orcollege?
scene
is
at
the
club (The Tropics] and this
Oh yeah, definitely. That's why I have him
young
boy
is
going
to come down from a
living a double life, because there's a side
rope
from
the
ceiling
and a spotlight will
of him that wants to do good, because his
be
on
him.
There
will
be very dramatic
mother immigrated to this country so he can
Amazonic
music,
and
he
will
be naked except
go to college.So he's top of the class•••but he
for
wearing
a
deer
mask,
and
then there will
has this underneath thing happening where
be
a
roar
of
a
lion
and
then
this
other charhe's unsure of his sexuality,which a lot of teens
acter,
who
is
an
African
American
character,
go through, and so he's kind of experimenting.
comes
out
and
he
is
wearing
a
lion's
mask
And it's in this experimenting that ... he falls
and
he's
completely
naked
as
well.
And
they
trap to this other thing from the nightlife that
do
this
stylized
dance
and
at
the
end
the
lion
leads him into getting busted. Believe it or
gets
the
prey-which
is
the
young
boy.
This
not, it's a comedy.
is symbolism that I wanted to show. And so,
Whatisyourwritingprocess
like?
I write plays as they come to me. I don't sit voila, there is the opening of the play. [Ariel
Messman-Rucker]
down and think, Oh I'm going to write this
'-"oc.ot,.tt S•nto..s"
Chocolate Filling
8 oz. dark Cho I
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about one minute on each side. Cut each round in half, to create
half moons. Mix 3 tablespoons of flour with a few drops of water
to form thick paste. Fold corners of half moons up to form a cone
shape and use flour paste to seal.
Set cones in an empty egg carton. Pour cooled chocolate into
a piping bag and fill cones two-thirds of the way up. Refrigerate
until chocolate sets. Fold over final edge, using flour paste to seal.
Freeze samosas.
2 cardamom pods
'\ stick cinnamo~und ginger
arated
ar
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2 eggs, se
'\ teaspoon sug
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'\ teaspoon pe~P ose black tea
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whisk1~~- ~rain spices and te~ \g continuously to n
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continue wh1S
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J
Heat oil to 375 degrees a in heavy saucepan. Drop frozen samosas
into oil and fry until golden brown, about 3 minutes. Drain off excess
oil and dust with powered sugar.
4 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
2/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon lemon zest
.. t·
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celery \eaves,
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bottomed po '
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the celery root. seas
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continue to beat until foamy and pale in color. With the mixer running,
slowly drizzle in the olive oil. Using a spatula, fold in the lemon zest.
In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt.
With the mixer on low speed, gradually add the dry ingredients to the
egg mixture.
Pour the batter into a cake pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 45 minutes,
making sure to rotate pan halfway through cooking process.
Cover celery root and onion with heavy cream and vegetable
stock and simmer over low heat until the celery root is tender
and can easily be pureed with a stick blender, about 30 minutes.
Puree the soup and adjust seasoning to taste. Ladle into warmed
bowls and garnish with shaved black truffle and a few celery leaves.
54
Icurve
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
A Second Serving
Want to know more about our
new favorite chefbians? Read our
exclusive interviews with Ashley
Merriman and Preeti Mistry at
curvemag.com. Find out about
Preeti's biggest post-Top Chef rockstar moment and
how Ashley went from living off the grid to starring in
cable's No. 1 cooking show.
HOLIDAYSUCCESS
RESTSONSWANSON~
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Broth is essential to your entire holiday meal. Other canned broths add MSG.
Ours is 100% natural, flavored with garden vegetables and sun-drenched herbs.
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For Swanson's Moist & Savory Stuffing recipe and other holiday favorites, visit SwansonBroth.com
tAmong major brands. A small amount of glutamate occurs naturally in yeast extract. ©2009 CSC Brands LP
REVIEWSMusic Watch
Girls+ Guitars Gifts
What to get your audiophile this December. By Margaret Coble
PersonaQue n L • ,ah
(Verve}:I'm an oldschool
QueenLatifahfan.I still have
the cassetteof All Hailthe
Queen,
her1989debutthat
setthevisualandcontextual
standardfor femalerappers
to come.Today,Latifahis a
musician,actress,author,
recordlabelhead,TV
spokesperson
andall-around
one-woman
entertainment
conglomerate
whocan
competeeasilywith hermale
counterparts.
Thisalbum
showshowwell-rounded
she
is,with a mixtureof urban Searching for the perfect holiday gift for your musicR&B,hip-hop,popandrap.
lovin' gal? Well, here are three recent releases from
Somesongs,likethe clubby
lesbian favorites Kate Reid, Catie Curtis and Sarah
"CueTheRain,"will kickLady
Bettens that are sure to score you some major points.
Gagaor Pussycat
Dollsoff
Trust me.
yourplaylist.Others,likethe
PharrelWilliams-produced
"If
HeWanna,"mayboreyouto
I'mJ 1<;fWa ingUp,KateReidself-released):
You really
tears.Thefew pointswhere can't go wrong with a gift of Kate Reid's music. She
Latifahis candid-rapping might not be as much of a lesbian household name
likethe straight-upJersey
as Sarah Bettens or Catie Curtis, but just give her a
girl sheis in "TheLight"and
few
more years and she will be. The self-described
singingaboutloversbeing
"homofolkie"
from Ontario (now living in Vancouver)
strangersandbiggirlsnot
has recently released her second CD of hilarious and
cryingin "Runnin'"-make
for the bestsongsof all.I still
heartwarming acoustic poetry, the highlight of which
thinkLatifahis talentedand
is "The Only Dyke at The Open Mic:• It's an Ani
unstoppable,
andthis CDis
DiFranco-sryle ramble that humorously recounts an
wortha listen,but purists anxiety-ridden experience on stage in front of a room
shouldreachbackto the
of straight folks in which our heroine eventually wins
oldiesbinto find outwhyshe
the crowd over. Reid's comedic wordrocked-er, rapped-our
smithing also excels on "Ex-Junkie
world20 yearsago.(verveBoyfriend" and "Emergency Dyke
musicgroup.com)
[Diane
Anderson-Minshall]
Project;' the latter of which takes
a jab at the success of Kacy Perry's
"I Kissed a Girl:' It's not all fun and
games, though, as Reid also gives
voice to more serious topics, like she
56
I curve
does on the sparse "No More Missing Daughters;' a
story about Vancouver's missing women. Meanwhile,
cuts like "Dirty Girl" revel in sweet, sexy love. Overall,
it's a well-balanced set of smart acoustic folk that's
hard not to love. (katereid.net)
Hello Stranger,
CatieCurtis(Compass
Records):
One
of the reigning queens of contemporary folk-who
happens to be an out lesbian-finally appeases longtime fans with a stripped-down, bluegrass-leaning
collection of hits and covers. As a whole, the set has
a more intimate, personal-concert feel, in part due
to the fingerpicking finesse of her band, an all-star
grouping of Music City players. But Curtis' relaxed,
gentle voice is really the biggest star, front and center
amid the often-improvised acoustic instrumentation.
Highlights include the title track, a fun, old school
country duet with Mary Gauthier, a fiddle-filled cover
of Richard Thompson's "Walking on a Wire" and a
banjo-driven version of Cat Stevens' "Tuesday's Dead;'
along with twangier takes on several older Curtis fan
favorites like "Dad's Yard" and "Passing Through:' It's
a feel-good, sing-a-long set that clearly establishes
Curtis' place among songwriting giants and countryfolk legends, and would make an excellent gift for fans
new and old. (catiecurtis.com)
~
S
gi
~
4:
[rl
;
ffi
~
§_
~
~
!
~
4:
Q+A
The Plastiscines
Although barely in their 20s, The
Plastiscines are already music business
veterans, equally influenced by New Wave
archetypes like Blondie and The B-52s
and 21st-century acts like The Yeah Yeah
Yeahs and The Strokes. Their first album,
fittingly titled LPl, came out in 2007. The
band's sophomore disc, About Love, arrived
in late summer. Although they still favor
high-energy punk-pop, this album finds
The Plastiscines stretching musically. Karty
Besnard (lead vocals), Marine Neuilly (lead
guitar), Louise Basilien (bass) and Anais
Vandevyvere (drums) may be young, but
they've done their homework.
Whichmusicians
haveinfluenced
you?
Neuilly:
Ari Up from The Slits is one of our
biggest influences. She created a new punk
movement during the '70s with only girl
musicians. We are really respectful of what
they had to go through because at the time
NeverSayGoodbye,
SarahBettens(Cocoon/
V2):On a similar sort of vibe, out Belgian
rock star Sarah Bettens offers up a lovely
new collection featuring three new songs
plus live, guitar-and-piano-accompanied
favorites from her last two solo records
and covers by the likes of Bonnie Raitt
("I Can't Make You Love Me") and Julie
London ("Cry Me a River"). Inspired by
her 2006 From Scream to Whisper theater
tour, the set fills both a greatest hits and
covers niche as well as offering a glimpse at
the softer, more intimate side of Bettens'
voice. With its
three new cuts it
Look out for
is this year's mustour exclusive
have for fansinterview with
Sarah Bettens
the jazzy "I Can
in a future issue
Do Better Than
You;' the dramatic
piano ballad "Slow You Down" and the
anthemic love song "Win Me Over" are all
115' winners-while
the stripped-down treat@ ments of "Go;' "Scream;' "Not an Addict"
~ and "Come Over Here" add a whole new
~ dimension to these international hits.
u
~ (sarahbettens.com)■
:::)
it was hard for girl bands to be
respected. Debbie Harry from
Blondie is also a huge icon to us.
Theword" itch 1susuall used
negatively.
Butin yoursong,you
seemo ceebratei
Neuilly:
I wrote this song when I
was 17. We were just starting the band, and
people were being critical about how we
were dressed and caring about the physical
aspect without even listening to our music.
So I remember [being] in a really angry
mood, sitting on my bed playing guitar and
thinking, as a response to these people, "Yeah
you're right, I'm a bitch, when I brush my
teeth:' After that, I felt so liberated!
Vandevyvere:
I think there's a little bitch
hiding in every [person], and I like it!
Ho did
f • a Ro sta 's hit,
' Y, 're No ood" comeabout?
Besnard:
We were chinking about doing a
cover for the new album but after all the
songs we tried, none of them were working.
One day, [I came to] band practice with this
idea and it worked straightaway! The idea
[came] more from Dee Dee Warwick's [version], actually.
WhatareyourfavoriteAmerican
citiessofar?
Neuilly:
I love Austin. We played there for
the last show of the Nylon summer tour and
it was one of my best gigs! I'd love to be back
to play at [the] South by Southwest festival.
Vandevyvere:
I'm a big fan of Los Angeles.
I'm really into Malibu, Venice Beach and
Santa Monica. I [would] die to live over
there, wake up every morning, go surfing
and play [music] all day long.
[DaveSteinfeld]
•
.
c-._,
·-:-1
- ..
My GuiltyPleasure
TheQuick&Dirty
SallyShapiro
ShelleyNicole's
(PaperBag)
blaKbiishe
(RedButterflyMusic)
If shiny,happydance ,
ThisBrooklyn-based musicis yourthing,
co-edseptetbusts
thenthis critically
'
outwitha rock-soul- acclaimed
Swedish
electronica
hybrid,
'
artist'ssophomore
soundinglikea feminist albumis for you.Pop- ,
versionof the Brooklyn leaningandethereal,
FunkEssentials.
The
vocalistSallyShapiro
centerpiece
of their
staystrueto her'80s
newEPis "blakGirls," synth-heavy
ltalo-disco
a '?Os-vibe
soul-funk roots."Lovein July"is
femaleempowerment a dancefloor
anthem, :
anthemthat'salso
while"Moonlight
an irresistible
dance
Dance"is an '80s
groove.Can'twaitto
throwback.Fun!
hearmorefromthem. (johanagebjorn.infol
(blakbushe.
com)
sally.html)
=
TurnMe Loose
Ledisi
(Verve)
.. f
J.
,
/) .
Scrapbook
• Ellis
' (Roughneck
Records)
TheNewOrleansnative, Thistwo-discDVDset
andGrammyNominee will makeEllisfans
funksit up evenmore reallyhappy.Thefirst
discincludesa recap
onthisfourthstudio
• of thefirst 1Oyearsof
album.This14-cut
set mixesrock,blues, the singer-songwriter's
soulandhip-hopin a
brilliantcareer,a live
fresh,retrosound.The concertsetanda new
production
levelis high, song,"ComingHome
butstill retainsa gritty to You,"accompanied
feel.Theass-shakin' ' bya fan photoslide
opener"Runnin'" and . show.Theseconddisc
"Everything
Changes" , is a 64-songiPodreadycompendium
aremyfaves,as
wellasthe Buddy
of Mp3sfromherfirst
Milescover,"Them
five albums.(ellisChanges."
(ledisi.com) music.com)
December 2009
I57
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Let'sGet Real
Pick up some nonfiction that's pushing boundaries. By Rachel Pepper
Veteran writers Eileen Myles and Rebecca Walker
explore the physical and familial terra incognita as
Myles takes on Iceland and Walker expands our
notions of family.
Gringa:
A Contradictory
Girlhood,
MelissaHart
(SealPress):Gringafollows
MelissaHartthroughher
childhoodas she'sbounced
backandforthbetweenher
free-spiritedmotherand
herstraight-laced
suburban
father.Whenherparents
separate,
Hartandherbrother
andsisteraresweptaway
onan adventure
with her
motherandhermother's
newgirlfriend.However,
her
father'sconviction,
"Youcan't
growup parentedbytwo
women.It's unnatural,"
gains
himfavorwiththe courtsand
primarycustody.Wrappedin
Hart'slyricalprose,readers
aretransported
from1970s
suburbiato a vibrantLatino TheImportance
of BeingIceland:TravelEssaysin Art.
neighborhood
whereHart's EileenMyles(Semiotext(e))·
Reading Eileen Myles is
motherandvariouspartners like entering the mind of the lesbian Mad Hatter.
shareafternoons
filledwith
Super-smart, observant, funny and slightly off-kilter,
sunshineandchimichangas.
Myles
is a cultural time traveler. In this collection,
Amongcomplexities
of class,
she
voyages
to Iceland on two separate occasions and
cultureandsexuality,Hart
her droll depictions of the country's landscape, its
strugglesto makesenseof
inhabitants and its culture are filtered through her
herworldandherplacein it.
In a humorous
andendearing uniquely queer lens. This works best when she is
momentof self-discovery,
the
making wry observations, superimposing her East
12-year-old
Hartbreathes, Village sensibility on Icelandic lore. As she writes
"At last,I wasa lesbian."
of Icelanders, "It's such a specific kind of belonging.
(sea/press.com)
The only thing that it resembles ... is a piece I read
[Frances
Yee]
once in the ew York Times magazine about these
kids of gay parents who are forming support groups
when they come of age because the singularity of
their conditioning in its jarring encounter with
the 'normal' edges of the world needed 'articulation'
in early adulthood ... like an immigrant group:' Apart
from the lengthy first section of work produced in
and about Iceland, the rest of the book is a gathering of
older, previously uncollected pieces that vary in tone,
58
Icurve
quality and timeliness. For example, "Taylor Meade's
Apartment," written in 2002, is rather dull, but her
pieces on touring with Sister Spit, from 1997, and her
lesbian sister's wedding are more engaging. Reviews,
interviews, art criticism and rants also represent the
span of this majestic writer's career. Early
books like The New Fuck You and Chelsea
Girls established Myles as a witty genius;
her characters were scruffy dykes who
drank and smoked and strutted through
East Village streets. The Importance of
Being Iceland brings Myles full circle: She
is able to portray evolving LGBT culture
and her place in it, while simultaneously
enabling the larger world to view us with humor,
irony and admiration. (semiotexte.com)
Baby Love,RebeccaWalker (RiverheadBooks).·In
Rebecca Walker's already illustrious career she has
primarily focused on writing memoirs and editing
innovative nonfiction collections. Her two recently
published books Baby Love and One Big Happy
Family (see review next page) continue this tradition.
Baby Love, originally published in hardcover in 2007
and now in paperback, is an honest account of the
year Walker spent pregnant and as a new mother.
Although she had long been ambivalent about
whether to choose full-time parenthood, any such
ambivalence, she writes, is dissipated by the very
experience of pregnancy. At the time of its initial
release, Baby Love garnered some controversy both
for its passages about the intensity of biological love,
and for Walker's occasionally harsh characterization
of her mother, writer Alice Walker. However, as in all
memoirs, our narrator is both our guide and our emotional barometer, and of course famous mothers, like
all mothers, have their flaws. Readers who are nonbiological parents may find the passages on Walker's
relationship with her ex, Meshell Ndegeocello, and
the son they co-parented more problematic. Indeed,
at the time of its publication, Walker provoked more
controversy for writing that she loved her biological
son more strongly than she imagined anyone could
love an adopted child. While some of Walker's
memoir may send sparks flying, it's her honesty that
makes this book so appealing. Thus, I most enjoyed
Baby Love for the well-captured difficulties and joys
that Walker experienced-the self-doubt, the physical
baby with the baby's African
discomfort, the hormonal rollerAmerican birth mother and,
coaster rides, the sheer exhausin "Till Life Do Us Part;' lestion of the postpartum period
bian writer Meredith Maran's
and the incredible feelings of
account of forging the perfect
tenderness she develops for her baby.
family with a new lover when
(riverheadbooks.com)
her children were all but grown. Walker
OneBig HappyFamily ed. RebeccaWalker successfully expands the definition of
(Riverhead
Books):Riding on the coattails of family wherever she can here. There's
BabyLove,One Big Happy Familywas a nat- a polyamorous configuration, contributions
from LGBT writers like Maran and Dan
ural project for Walker. Bisexual, biracial,
Savage and Liza Monroy's piece, "My First
bicultural, the co-parent of a child of her
Husband;' about the relationship between
lesbian ex and now the parent of a child she
a straight woman who marries her best
has had with a man, Walker "gets" varied
family configurations like few others do. In gay male friend so that he can remain in the
United States.
this collection, 18 writers portray their vast
Although neither Baby Love nor One Big
array of families through a variety of perHappy Family is specifically or exclusively
sonal essays.
The essays include the reflections of LGBT, Walker is, as usual, on rhe cutting
a straight man who donates sperm to a edge of the nonfiction world, a worthy
ambassador for both the queer and straight
woman friend, an adoptive white mom's
account of her open adoption of a biracial
worlds. (riverheadbooks.com)
■
BooksWe Almost Missed
Verge
RollerDerby:The
Z Egloff
History
andAll-Girl
Books)
Revival
of theGreatest(Bywater
SportonWheels
CatheineM be
Egloff'sprotagonist,
Whilethewomen
(SpeckPress)
Claire,is a twoDon'tletthe cerebral
around15-year-old
timing,12-stepping
subtitle-Intersections
Elliearefrayingfrom
women · film geekwhohas
of Folklore,
Vernacular, Thrill-seeking
thepressures
of
swornto staysober,
leading
double
livesMyth,andQueerness
Orthodox
Judaismstayawayfromher
accountant
byday,
hermotherneedsmore in BlackFemale
exandgetintofilm
hellonwheelsby
Culture-scare
self-expression,
her
school.A briefaffair
night-will
find
a
great
oldersisteris planning you.Stallingsdoes
with herprofessor's
introduction
to derby
a wonderfuljob of
anescape-Ellie
wife posesproblems
fallsfor herneighbor blendinganacademic historyhere,fromits
for the latterambiearlydaysto the'70s
approach
with pop
Lindsay.
Whentheir
tion.Somehow
she
Roller
Jam
heights
to
culturereferences
(like
relationship
turns
endsupvolunteering
its
new
punk-queer
sexual,Elliemusttry to hip-hopalbumsand
aesthetic
inthemodern for SisterHilaryat a
reconcile
heremerging comedyperformances)
Therearealso communitycenter
to explorerepresenta- revival.
sexuality
with her
andbeforeshe
player
vignettes,
rule
tionsof sexualdesire
faith.Thisis a rare
knowsit, in grand
breakdowns,
definiin blackwomen,using
youngadultnovelClairefashion,she's
tionsof derbyslang
the "trickster"figure
wellwritten,moving
gotthe hotsfor the
andlotsof picturesto
butneveremotionally fromfolkloreto help
nun.Perfectlylesbian,
accompany
Mabe's
her
wrought-whicheven hercommunicate
indeed.(bywatersemi-fanatical
text.
adultreaderswill enjoy. theories.(ohiostatebooks.com)
(fulcrum-books.
com)
press.org)
(orcabook.
com)
Mutha'Is Halfa Word
Gravity
LeanneLieberman L.H.Stallings
(Orea
BookPublishers)(OhioState
University
Press)
Q+A
Jen Wright
Jen Wright isn't just a lady
of the law-this
probation officer is also a novelist. Her book Killer Storm
is a lesbian mystery based
in her hometown, Clover
Valley, Minn.
Didyoueverdreamyourjob
p·
r •• ?
I absolutely love being a probation officer
and probation supervisor, and I know
there are very few books written about
the subject. We have a unique view of •••
helping clients turn their lives around.
We also have daily contact with police, the
court system, jails, rehabilitation programs,
therapists and victims of crime. I was more
nervous about Killer Storm coming out
than I realized. My anxiety was mostly
centered around being so out as a lesbian
in my work world. My heart actually went
into a funky rhythm for 10 days when the
book was released. After the book was
released, I was pleasantly surprised by the
support I received from people who work
in the system.
a
n
It was a blast. ... It's also harder than you
might chink. Each reader has [a] level
of comfort with how much rhey want
co know about sex in books. I'd read my
work our loud to friends, and there was
never any consensus. I often heard, "Oh,
coo much information;' or"Tell me more:'
I did find that my Catholic background
made writing rhe sex scenes more complicated. I almost felt like I was cheating
on my partner because I had to get into
the mind of Zoey so much in order co
write effectively.
s tm
I was a little surprised at how easy it was
to write about heterosexual love and sex.
In my next book ... there is an actual herero sex act. I read the scene out loud to my
writer's group, and there were two herero
women writers who had quite a lot of fun
explaining to me what was or wasn't realistic. Basically, I chink char love is love and
passion is passion. [Ainsley
Drew)
December 2009
I 59
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Pra We See TheseA
We love this enterprising LGBT director. By Candace Moore
TravelQueeries
{Post-Gay
Productions):
Thelatest
fromqueermediaactivist
ElliatGraney-Saucke,
who
collaborated
with Margaritte
KnezekandSidPeterson,
examinesradicalqueer
culture,art andactivismin
21stcenturyEurope.
Thefilm
exploresinternational
fringe
culturethroughpersonal
interviews,
animation,
performanceandothermulti-media
presentations,
andit hasa
knockoutsoundtrackto boot.
Squatters,
artists,dragperformersandotherradqueers,
the subjectsin this documentarytell of the idealisticvalues
andthe artisticfightingspirit
of a forwardmovement
for
progressive
change.Filmedin
Berlin,Copenhagen,
Warsaw,
Barcelona,
Londonandother
European
citieswith active
radicalqueercommunities,
TravelQueeries
providesa
stunningnarrativeby and
abouta uniquesegmentof
the socialjusticemovement.
Graney-Saucke
explains,"I
seechallenging
peoplewho
don'tviewart asa serious
vehiclefor activismasa way
to makeit accessible
andapproachable."
(travelqueeries.
com)
[Stephanie
Schroeder]
60
Icurve
There's nothing more disappointing than seeing our
festival faves disappear into obscurity, so this month
we've decided to recommend media you may not be
seeing on TV or at the multiplex by highlighting
the short works of up-and-coming director Linda
Andersson.
unforeseen love is certainly in the air (a fact underscored by Hallmark card cupids, who occasionally
flutter about absurdly). All chis chaos comically demonstrates the wisdom of what one partygoer dubs the
six-month rule: Couples shouldn't move in together
until they've stayed together half a year or more.
Who knows what havoc fickle hearts might wreak?
The6 MonthRule(MakingDreamsRealityProductions): Director Linda Andersson's quick-paced, campy
Matchmaking at a lesbian Luau-themed party
short, which recently screened at Frameline, offers
goes awry when a Shane-like
a comic taste of dyke drama in
lothario, played by Michelle
search of a bigger budget.
Wolff (Dante's Cove), dumps
her girlfriend for an especially
TheSeer(SmallPondProductions):
flirty attendee. Add an Internet
Imagine if TV's
Mentalist
dater who longs for "Pisces 69;'
weren't Simon Baker, a smirking ffi
w
a girl who broke her virtual
fake-psychic dude, but rather a ~
heart, only to discover that the
Christine Cagney-styled ex-cop ~
lone straight man at the party
whose visions are legit, and :
w
is her online beloved. Once the
you'll have the pilot of The ;
cat's out of the bag about their
Seer. Clairvoyant Guin Marcus wa:
w
Internet affair, Pisces 69's "real"
(Deborah Stewart) quits the w::J
Q,
life girlfriend (a college has-bian),
police force to open a detective ~
storms out of the party. Hopedagency that will draw on her ~
for connections get botched at
supernatural powers. Meanwhile, ~
this cocktail heavy event while
she's nursing a recently broken ~
t
Q+A
JustBetween Girlz·
Michelle Lawler
Lesbian filmmaker Michelle Lawler's
directorial debut, Forevers Gonna Start
Tonight,tells the tale of Vicki Marlane,
the oldest transgender drag entertainer
in the United States. Filmgoers enter an
underworld of glitz and guise to witness
Marlane conquering substance addiction,
HIV and heartache, and emerge with an
appreciation for this San Francisco legend,
who is still performing to packed houses.
YoufirstsawVickiperformonher68thbirthday.Canyoudescribe
theexperience?
I had never seen anything like that
before. And I was really struck by this
woman who's 68 and she's still doing drag.
[Vicki's] just so expressive, and just has so
much passion. I cried. I totally cried.
Howwouldyoudescribe
Vicki?
Vicki's a firecracker! [Laughs] And she's
also tough. I was blown away that she had
been arrested as many times as she has
for wearing women's clothing and that
she broke out of prison twice. The first
time she broke out of prison, there was
this woman living in a shack set off from
the jail...and Vicki snuck out of the work
camp one day and she was like, "Hey, I'm
a prisoner over there, can you help met
So the woman got her a blouse, a skirt
and some makeup. That's pretty amazing.
When Vicki did that, she was in prison, so
it's not like she was dressed like a woman
or really presenting as a woman, and this
woman gave her women's clothing so she
could escape.
Whydidyoudecideto tell herstory?
heart with plenty of lesbian sex. The pilot for
this unsold queer crime drama opens with
a shot of a woman jogging through the wil~
derness, evoking (if not directly quoting) the
credit sequence of Silenceof the Lambs. This
time, however, the jogger is the victim rather
than the badass investigator. Cut to: our badass
investigator, safe and sound inside her apart~
ment, embroiled in steamy bedroom fun with
her new lover. On the job the next day, as the
afterglow fades, Guin helps the police by snug~
gling up in the suspect's bed and tuning into
his 'energy;' hoping to catch an image of the
TRY FOR FREE!
le more had to do with her and what she
represents to the LGBT community. I
mean, she's our, the, history. I just feel like
if we, as younger people, don't talk to the
older people-it's like their stories will
essentially be lost.
Whatimpactdoyouhopethefilmwill have
onthecommunity?
I feel like LGBT people enjoy a lot more
freedom now than we ever have, and I think
that a lot of people coming up today don't
get what LGBT people had to go through
to enjoy the lives that we have today, even
though we're not 100 percent equal.
Thefilmindustry
canbeanall-boys'club.
Whatkindof challenges
haveyoufaced?
So many. On a daily basis. It's a really
male~dominated industry and I have
battled sexism from day one. Ir's not even
about me being a lesbian. It's about me
being a woman. I feel like I had to work
10 times harder to prove that I could do it
before I could get just the basic amount of
respect. [Frances
Yee)
murderer red~handed. Forget, for a moment,
that Guin's visions can't "prove" anything. We
take it on faith that when a guy creepily hisses
at and taunts Guin in her dream state, he's the
story's bad guy.The plot heats up further when
Guin's lover becomes implicated in the case
and were left with a cliffhanger we'd like to see
resolved. Series' like this "psychic procedural;'
which toy with genre or genre hybrids while
foregrounding queer characters, present
refreshing challenges to their host genres
and to the LGBT media's status quo.
(watchtheseer.com)■
1.800.616.6113
CODE 1508
averraer
•
e
North America'sLesbianChatline
lavenderline.net
REVIEWS
I Tech Girl
Move Over Emil Post
Advice duo dish out their tips online. By Stephanie Schroeder
I-TECHJOGGING
I haterunning,butthe Nike+
iPodWatchRemote
might
just changemymind.As part
of Nike'ssportkit, it allows
youto changesongsonyour
iPodNanoandkeeptrackof
time,andit givesyouspoken
feedbackon howwellyou're
running.Nowthat'sa geeky
workoutI canget behind.
($69,store.nike.com)
[KatiePeoples]
Online lesbian columnists Hersband and Wife,
dubbed by an early fan as a "whimsical duo;' are a
phenom sweeping the Internet. Perhaps, though,
they are already past the sweeping stage and are
trying on the glass slippers-or Timberland boots,
in Hersband's case.
Starting out with separate online diaries on
Yahoo360 five years ago, Hersband and Wife each
had an individual grassroots following when a friend
suggested they combine their efforts in a blog.
Ooh-La Lush
The bloggish mini-mag LesbianLush enlists its members,
regulars and guest writers to give you tantalizing quickies
about all that is lusciously lesbian. The visually stunning
website features sections on fashion, dating, sex, travel
and socializing that include thematic, punchy pieces and
gorgeous photographs covering what's hot this second.
Each category is also equipped with a "Lipservice" forum
that puts you right where LesbianLush wants you to bein the middle of it all. Perfect for the tech-addicted dykeon-the-go, this self-proclaimed "lesbian exclusive
exchange" is like a hot one-night stand for your
BlackBerry. (lesbianlush.com)[YanaTallon-Hicks]
"People were already writing in with questions,
and we were answering;' says Hersband. Word
spread, and their blog grew to include a vlog and
clips on YouTube. The next thing they knew (well,
six years later), they were an Internet sensationand not just with lesbians. They offer advice on
topics ranging from coming out to raising children
in a blended family.
"We kind of grew by accident;' says Wife, who
Hersband says is the tech,savvy one in the family,
building their website and posting their videos.
A now,classic clip showing the duo visiting a
Home Depot and answering the question "How to
keep a rubber penis in your pants:"' illustrates how
butches can "pack" safely and securely.
The couple still have day jobs as well as rugratsWife's children from her previous marriage. They
dispense their advice with grace, wry humor and
genuine sincerity. Says Hersband, "We also do a lot
of research and, in emergencies, give appropriate
contacts for lawyers or psychology professionals we
know to be gay,friendlY:'
Hersband and Wife are hoping to take their advice
on the road in a cross,country RV trip (supported
by fans-hint, hint) where they will raise awareness
about gay marriage by getting hitched in all 50 states.
(hersbandandwife.com)
■
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Hollywood's Most Wanted continued from page 45___
_
Peoplewhoareteenagersnowarenotnecessarily
thinking, "Am I gay,am I straight,am I a lesbian?"They're
thinkingmoreaboutfallingin lovewith the individual
I agree, and I think that all labels need to just go away forever. It's not fair to put a label on a person. For sexuality,
it's like, I never thought I was going to have a girlfriend,
ever, but it just kind of happened and whoever makes
you happy, that's who you need to be with.
You'vesaidyou'vedealtwithesteemissues
It started, I think, when I was in sixth grade, actually.
My ears stuck out a little bit, which, I think they're cute
now. But some kid put balloons by his ears and called
me Dumbo and that was it for me. I think that having
such low self-esteem issues, I think, you know, alcohol,
drug, eating disorders, all the different issues teens
have, all stem from the way you feel about yoursel£ So,
until you overcome that and you find yourself and you
love yourself ... it's just not going to work for you.
Whendidyoubegmdatmgwomen?
I did a little experimenting in college, but honestly it just kind of
happened. Girls are more nurturing, they're-like I said, double the
wardrobe, and if you have the same size shoe, even better.
D d y u haveto comeoutto yourpa·ents?
I didn't have a coming out, actually. A coming out kind of happened
for me in the press and, it's kind of like, I'm almost happy it happened
because, God, ifl did have a girlfriend, then guess what? My family's not
going to be so pissed off after all, they've already dealt with it.
On ·umors ysyouposedor naughtypictureswhile t Syracuse
and
t at there'sa s cretCourtenasextapeout here
It'd be interesting to see both of those. I've heard the rumors about this
so-called sex tape and I have heard the rumors about these pictures, and
I just remember when I got a call about these pictures it was years and
years ago, and I just broke down. It was not cool back then. Nor did I
know what this person had or what they were talking about. I've actually
wondered, if these do exist, when on earth
they are going to resurface?
Whydoyouthinkthereis so muchinterest in yoursexlife?
I have no idea. There is way more to me
than just my sex life. I don't think it's that
exciting. [Laughs]
Well,therearea lotof peoplethatdisagree.
I know. We'll see, I'll try and stir it up a
little more, I guess. But I also have a show
that I'm shopping right now. Everyone
dreams of having a second chance at life
and this time around I'm going to be the
driver of the ship and I've made a decision that money doesn't exactly buy you
happiness-it
only buys you a higher
thread count. So I am going to go out
there and make it on my own. It's like, if I
can do it on my own anyone can. It's like
I'm a failure to launch. I'm 29 and I've always been supported by my
family and it's time to grow up, already. And I'm terrified, but I think
I can do it.
How1syourrelationship
withyourparentssinceyouleft rehab?
Obviously, me going away brought us back together because, for once,
I was taking responsibility for my actions. Except that I have made a
really bold move, I guess you could say, and my money was given back
to me, but I'm just not going to take it.
Whatelsedoyouhaveonthe horizon?
I'm going to start to do ... once a month, maybe once a week, girl parties. And I'm going to call it"Courtenay's Candy Shop:' It's for lipstick
lesbians, bi-curious sluts-guys bring your girls ... you just don't know
what could happen. But really, you know, the pull is it to just get millions of hot girls there. I want to make it the coolest girl party in the
world. Katy Perry and"I Kissed a Girl"... made girl-on-girl cool, so I'm
going to make it even cooler. ■
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December 2009
I63
ASTROGRRL
Heat up the Holidays
Give her something she'll thank you for this year. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Sagittarius
{Nov.23-Dec.22)
Sex:You make an excellent first impression all through
December. How deep and probing an impression will
depend on whether she's in the mood. Career:Your
best corporate moves will be made outside the office.
Use some vacation time and see if they miss you.
Capricorn
(Dec.23-Jan.20)
Sex:She will surprise you this month with something fun, funky and frivolous. You'd better return
that power drill you bought her ... Career:
If your work
environment is more difficult than usual, find a way to
excite a particular boss and get ahead of the pack.
Aquarius
(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Sex:Gal pals heighten the festivities and spread the
tinsel. Don't sit under the tree in a box. Find someone to unwrap you and show you off. Career:Business
partners demand a lot of your time this month. Try to
set limits so you can enjoy the holidays with a certain
you-know-who.
She'sthe lifeof anypartyand
enjoysgoodgaycamaraderie.
You'llseeherwearinga lamp- Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
shadeon herheadandknock- Sex:You'll party hearty this month, but how much is
ingoverthe oniondip.Sag. too much? Let us know by New Year's Day, when you
galsarealsothe oneswiththe are quietly recuperating. Career:
They love you at work
boisterous
but lousyjokesand and think you're a rising corporate star. Do they have
the loudest,proudestlaugh.In you confused with someone else?
a crowdedroomof quietVirgos
withcocktailnapkinsbalanced
Aries(March21-April20)
carefullyontheirlaps,your
Sex:Lambda Rams can discover new, exotic and
Sag.girlfriendis the onewitha
cheesestickup hernose.Ho, exciting lovergrrls far afield this month. At least that's
ho,ho... oops! what you think. You will find any excuse for a holiday
getaway. Career:Work is an afterthought for you this
December. It's hard to concentrate on projects because
the office party beckons. What else is new?
Taurus(April21-May21)
Sex:You are swept off your feet in a frenzy of desire
by a sexy woman of means. Be sure you know exactly
what she means before midnight on New Year's Eve.
Career:You are the master of your fate at work. Will
you soar to the highest heights or be pushed off the
ladder? Wear springs on your feet, just in case.
Gemini(May22-June21)
Sex:Partners need some tender loving care but you are
too busy. Find the time to hang some mistletoe over
64
I curve
the stove and see what (and who) is cooking. Career:
Idle chitchat can ruin your work environment. Use
those lips for better purposes than gossip. Shhhh.
Cancer{June22-July23)
Sex:There is a certain coworker who would like
to work much more closely with you. Ahem. Make
merry with her in the supply room. Career:Wait for
your holiday bonus check to clear before you spend
it. Either that or rack up the overtime. Burning the oil
now enables you to light up the party later.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Sex:Dancing at every Christmas party will make
you exceptionally popular-and
very busy. Lucky
you. Hurry before your tail begins to droop, Lioness.
Career:You are a major force at work now. Will you
use the power to uproot the corporate landscape or
just trim a few bushes?
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Sex:Are you stuck at home this month? Why not
deck the halls with Holly and see how much fun she
can make the holiday season. Career:Hidden enemies
at work have been revealed and vanquished, but don't
let your guard down. They are videotaping you during
the office holiday party. Take off the mistletoe hat.
Libra(Sept.24-0ct.23)
Sex:Sprinkle your words with sugar and see how
sweet she becomes. Add some whipped cream and
chocolate sauce and drive her crazy. Stop when you
get to the fruitcake. Career:Girlfriends in high places
make your corporate climb easier. Girlfriends in low
places make your work environment even more fun.
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Sex:Lavish her with over-the-top gifts this month.
She will be so grateful she'll fill up your stockings.
Career:No one gets in your way at work this month.
How pushy can you be? Just wait and see who pushes
back. Woo hoo! ■
Astrologer Charlene Lichtenstein is the
authoroJHerscopes: A Guide to Astrology
for Lesbians. Curious what thefuture holds
for Sparky? Check out Petscopes and more
at thestarryeye.com.
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