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Description
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ToC Skiing vs. Pride by Kristin A. Smith and Alice Clarke (p30); Cover: Farewell to The L Word by Rachel Shatto (p32); Lesbian 101 Who the Heck Is Ann Bannon by Cheryl Craig (p38); Sexy People eRead by Kathleen Bryson (p39); A Word from a Lesbro Author by Marc Acito (p40); How NOT to Come Out by Gillian Kendall and Aimsel L. Ponti (p41); Going Beyond Desert Hearts by Robin Miner-Swaartz (p42); How to Stay Friends with Your Ex by Jen Berkowitz (p43); The Sex Issue On the Down Low by Alison Peters (p44); Call Me by Erin Siegal (p45); La Femme Madison Young by Courtney Trouble (p46); Bad Girls by Alison Steinberg (p47); The Playboy Fantasy (p48); Tristan Taormino Steps Out by Stephanie Schroeder (p49); Alison Pill Rules in Milk by Melany Walters-Beck (p50). Cover Photo by Don Flood/Showtime.
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Sex Issue
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issue
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1
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Date Issued
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January-February 2009
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Curve_Vol19_No1_January-February-2009_0CR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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"MIAMI'SFREQUENCIES
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ONCEYOUTUNEIN, YOU'LLNEVERTURNAWAY."
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Put aside your troubles and plug into Miami's energizing vibe. Our creative
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Frankly Speaking
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
Hunkering Down
After 18 fascnat1ngyears
of documentingyo .Jr
livesand the issues
that are importantto you
wearer t go·ngto le a
recessiontake us down
But honestly,we could
use yourhelptr 1smonth.
Frances Stevens Publisher & Founder
It's been a tough few months with not just talk of a bad economy but everyone-lesbians, too-being
hit hard by failing mortgages, financial shakedowns, rising costs and more. At curve, we've tried to
hunker down and weather what Gawker calls The Great Magazine Die~Off. According to Ad Age,
in fact, 3,200 magazine jobs were eliminated between June and September of last year. And as
each magazine laid off staff (US, Rolling Stone, Redhook, Time, People), put out a plea for donations
(Bitch) or just closed up shop (Radar, CosmoGirl, OutTraveler, 0 at Home), weve hunkered down
even more. After 18 years of lesbian publishing, we aren't about to let Wall Street fat cats take
us down.
With ad sales dropping, especially in gay~friendly industries, and lesbians sometimes having
to choose between dinner and rent, our bottom lines have been hit, too. But as President Barack
Obama takes office this month, the Curvettes (our editor in chief calls us "recessionistas" because we
make do with very little) are filled with optimism.
Honestly, though, we could really use your help. It's super important to support the lesbian~
owned companies and organizations you couldn't live without. We hope curve is in that category.
While every publisher has been hit hard, the Conde Nast and Time Inc. mags can
make up for cash deficits by stuffing their pages with vacuous cosmetic surgery
ads and tobacco shill (things we just won't do). We need your support to
Subscribe
today at
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or by calling
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survive, so please, help a sister out and subscribe today.
The best way to support curve is always to subscribe to the magazine.
We get to keep almost 90 percent more of your money when you subscribe
than when you buy us on the newsstand. You can also show your support
by visiting curvemag.com and participating in our online community. And
spread the word-tell your friends about us!
And remember, while we're fortunate to have a show like The L Word enter~
ing its sixth season, which is sure to be another hit, the recent passage of California's
Proposition 8 is a reminder that being popular on TV doesn't always translate into making us
palatable to the masses, especially when it comes to our civil rights. In order to represent the rich
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Cheryl Craig, Tony Donaldson, Sohpia Hantzes, Gabriela
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Volume 19 Issue 1 Curve (ISSN 1087-867)() 1spublished monthly (except for
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2 j curve
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January/February 2009
30
32
41 curve
Skiing vs. Pride? Hit the slopes in Utah's gayfriendliest spots. Or do Pride, Aussie-style, at
Midsumma. By Kristin A. Smith and Alice Clarke
Cover: Farewell to The L Word For six years
the women of Showtime's hit series have proven
lesbian life isn't all about flannel shirts and granola.
By Rachel Shatto
Volume 19#1
The Se I sue
4
On the Down Low Why some black lesbians
find it hard to come out to their families and
communities. By Alison Peters
4
Call Me Erica Black's new book reveals her life
as a lesbian call girl. By Erin Siegal
4
La Femme Madison Feminist porn star, director and gallery owner Madison Young gets
kinky. Plus, we've got some of her hottest work
covered. By Courtney Trouble
3
Who the Heck Is Ann Bannon? Only the foremost lesbian pulp fiction writer. By Cheryl Craig
3
Sexy People Read And we've got the 10 most
underrated books every baby dyke should get.
By Kathleen Bryson
4
Bad Girls This curious lesbian finds out
what life is like as a John (er, Jane). By Alison
Steinberg
4
A Word From a Lesbro Renowned author Marc
Acito explains why he loves lesbians.
48
Electrocabaret
Fantasy
Playboy
The
music star Dahlia Schweitzer parties with the
Bunnies.
4
How NOT to Come Out The seven things you
should avoid when joining the rainbow. And, the
hottest albums every lesbian should own. By Gillian
Kendall and Aimsel L. Ponti
4
Tristan Taormino Steps Out gives us tips
on open relationships (hint: It's not the same as
cheating). By Stephanie Schroeder
42
Going Beyond Desert Hearts Coming out?
Time to rent these classics. By Robin Miner-Swartz
43
How to Stay Friends With Your Ex The lesbian
phenomenon demystified. By Jen Berkowitz
50
Alison Pill Rules in Milk Alison Pill and Anne
Kronenberg take us behind the scenes of the
Harvey Milk biopic. By Melany Walters-Beck
Departments
January/February 2009
"Thecheaterdoesnt
want to tellyou
anythingbecause
shewantsyouon
reserve,justincase
she is makinga
mistake.Andyou
don'tpushtoo hard
becauseyou don't
want herto go
Thisstagelastsanywherefroma week
to a decade.'
2
Frankly Speaking Just what's on our
publisher's mind?
8
Letters The great cover debate rages
on, and Marlee Matlin sets the record
straight.
19 Lesbofile Ellen DeGeneres, Lindsay
Lohan, Megan Fox, Condi Rice and Lynne
Cheney all get face time.
20
Lipstick & Dipstick I'm married to a guy
and pregnant with his baby. What to do?
10 Contributors All about our writers.
22
Astro Grrl Will the New Year bring new
luck? Find out.
11 Scene On set with JD Disalvatore, the L
Word girls and the Point Foundation. Plus,
pix from around lesboland.
23
Relationships
safer sex.
14 Out in Front Leaders in women's sports,
Bulgaria and corporate America.
24
Ask Fairy Butch The classic question:
how to deal with lesbian bed death?
15 Curvatures Curvettes judge the best
sports drinks, subvert labels and meet a
different kind of animal lover.
24
Health Ever considered colonic hydrotherapy? Plus, a scale that makes you
want to weigh yourself.
18 Open Studio Jewelry straight out of the
Mists of Avalon.
26
Is Your Girlfriend a Cheater? We have
some advice for you.
6
I curve
28
Politics Brownworth asks why lesbians
aren't getting any.
52
Music Watch Natalie Stewart and company keep it flowing. And, emo queer
cult hit Amanda Palmer on
sexuality.
55
In the Stacks Get introspective for the
New Year, like Masha Gessen's Blood
Matters. And S. Bear Bergman talks butch.
66
Sapphic Screen Be a little naughty with
films like Drifting Flowers. And, Bravo's
Tabatha Coffey and Dee Adames talk hair.
57
Tech Girl What the biotech revolution
means for you.
64
Top Ten Reasons We Love Laurie
Deane A boot scootin' girl after our own
country hearts.
Bad personal ads and
Letters
"America'sFunniest"was definitelythe better
cover.Also,you guysdo an amazingjob. We
lovecurve... Australiadoesn'thavea magazine of thiscaliber,so thanksfor sharing
yourswith us down under."
ARE YOU
SATISFIED WITH
YOUR SEX LIFE?
I mayas well bea nun
(CallmeSisterChastity)
26%
+
I wanted to tell you how much I just love the
Hellyes!(Canyousay cover this month-the
one with Suzanne [Vol.
"mind-blowing?") 18 #9]. It's glorious! I love the people on it, and
the photo is fucking fantastic!
22%
- JD Disalvatore,Los Angeles
Whatsexlife?
(I'mjust too busy
to get busy) You made a mistake. Nikki Weiss and Candis
Cayne should have been featured on the cover
7% of curve magazine [Vol. 18 #9], instead of
It's gettingbetter America's Funniest Lesbians.
(Mynewgirl's
- Jayse Cunningham, West Hollywood, Calif.
a quicklearner)
"America's Funniest" was definitely the better cover [Vol. 18
#9]. Also, you guys do an amazing job. We love curve. My
Ho-hum
partner and I both run for the mailbox when the posty comes
(Wedrawstraws
to deliver curve to us each month and then we jokingly fight
to seewhogets
over first rites. Australia doesn't have a magazine of this calito be onthe bottom)
ber, so thanks for sharing yours with us down under.
5%
5%
I'm proudto bea player
(Shaneis my homegirl)
- Jen Cuzzu and Leigh (Mac) McKenzie, Ambrose,
Queensland, Australia
*According
to a Just wanted to tell you that I love Rachel Shatto's "Why You
curvemag.com
poll Should Be Watching" article on curvemag.com. She is witty
and the writing is top-notch. I hope she continues bringing
us reasons why we should watch TV (or HBO). The website
looks great lately. Keep up the great work.
- ColleenM. Lee, San Francisco
I received word today that my novel Letters in theAttic had been
reviewed by Mary Foulk in the November issue of curve
magazine [Vol. 18 #9]. Needless to say, I was thrilled!
Letters is especially dear to my heart because I wrote it as
a labor of love and also an apology to my daughter for being
less than kind when she came out to our family. I'd always
thought of myself as a broad-minded person. In this case,
s I curve
I was broad-minded as long as it was
somebody else's daughter. We had a few
terrible months before I smartened up
and decided that I was going to have to
change or I would lose my daughter.
I went to a psychologist who told
me about PFLAG. When I called the
number, a man answered the phone. I
gave him my name and poured out my
whole tearful, blubbering story. When
I finished, he said, "Lady, this is the
Veterans Administration!" I had taken
the first step toward recovery. I had told
someone and the world didn't come to an end. The people of
PFLAG took me under their wing and worked their magic.
Now my daughter and I are closer than ever.
And, miracle of miracles, the book up and won a Lambda
Literary Award. Letters was published when I was 60. (I
taught second grade for 33 years, retired and decided to
become a writer.) Funny how life leads you in the right direction. And if you want things to turn out the way they're supposed to, you just follow. Thanks so much for including my
book in curve. I appreciate your kindness.
- Bonnie Shimko, Plattsburgh,N.Y.
I want to thank you so much for your article clarifying the
appearance of"fur" on your cover in October [Vol. 18 #8]. I
am a vegetarian and an animal-lover, and I appreciate a mainstream magazine like yours taking such an awesome stand
on issues like these. It lets me know I made the right choice
at the newsstand when I read things such as this, advocating
groups such as PETA and furisdead.com. If there were more
magazines out there like yours, the world would be a better
place. Thanks again.
- Jennifer Myrick, Acworth, Ga.
I just want to thank you for your article letting people know
th
wl
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tir
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that Mia Kirshner was not wearing real fur
when she posed for your October cover photo
[Vol. 18 #8]. I hope your remarks about the cru,
elty inflicted on defenseless animals in the fur
industry get through to some people.
I guess that is always the risk you run in put,
ting faux fur pies in magazines, or even wearing
it for that matter. Some people believe it is real
fur, so they think you are condoning the wear,
ing of real fur and it encourages them to do
so. That does hurt the anti,fur cause and runs
totally against what you are trying to accom,
plish. Perhaps if you put a tag line somewhere
with any photos of faux fur saying "cruelty,free
faux fur" that would help. The last thing you
want to do is promote the wearing of fur. Pam
Anderson's boots that say "Faux" up the sides of
MADABOUT
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Noone
them are perfect. They let people know that the
fur isn't real and they also promote the anti,fur
message.
Thanks again for your compassion and your
policy against publishing photos of people wear,
ing fur.
- Brenda Grant, Toronto, Canada
?
Email letters@curvemag.com; write to CURVE
Letters, 1550 Bryant St., Ste. 510, San Francisco,
CA 94103; fax to 415,863,1609. Please include
your name, city and state. Letters may be edited
for clarity and length.
On the November"Scene" page [Vol. 18 #9], we
should have written that Delicio Del Toro was
the first runner,up in the Solo King category,
not the Troupe category. The photo caption to
"Hot in Hollywood" [Vol. 18 #10] should have
read 'i\.merica Ferrera:'
.....,
tomg-
----.......
Setting the
Record Straight
The ravishing L Word actor Marlee
Matlin, who was one of curve's
2008 Entertainers of the Year [Vol.
18 #9], wants to set the record
straight. In her exclusive interview,
she dishes on how playing a gay
character has affected how she
looks at sexuality, and she wants to
be sure that what she said was not
misconstrued. "In the interview, it
appears that I believe being gay is
a choice. That is absolutely not my
belief," Matlin wrote to us.
"Specifically, when I was responding to the question, I was
thinking of marriage choice and the
upcoming amendments around the
country to ban gay marriage. With
that weighing heavily on my mind, I
got lost in my words-or signs-and
instead was responding to the crazy
evangelicals who try to justify their
efforts to ban gay marriage by using
the silly proposition that being gay
is a choice.
"What I intended to say in the article, and what I've said many times
publicly, is that all of us deserve
respect and love, no matter who
we are or who we choose to love
or marry. No one should ever take
that away."
January/February 2009
I9
Contributors
"In or out, we all crave relatable characters and stories. I do a little victory dance every time I run across a movie that really speaks to me:' says
who's been reviewing movies for
contributing writer RobinMiner-Swartz,
the Lansing State Journal in Michigan for more than a decade and wrote
"Beyond Desert Hearts: 10 Films to Rent When You Come Out" (page
41). Miner-Swartz and her partner, Betsy, had their 'comrnitzvah" in
June, and are rabid Michigan State University women's basketball fansMiner-Swartz writes about the team for the Lansing State Journaf s blog
Bleeding Green.
Editor's Note
I've had five wedding ceremoniesall to the same person. Each time
a new law made some legal hurdle
easier,we were there. First, in West
Hollywood,as the country'sfirst domestic partnershipregistryopened
up in the '80s. In 2004, we had our
fourth ceremonyin San Francisco
along with hundredsof other gays
and lesbianswho flocked to City Hall
when Mayor Gavin Newsom defied
Californialaw to marry same-sex
couples. I was a same-sex marriage supporterlong before many
advocates.
So, it was with a heavy heart that
I watched Proposition8 pass at the
polls in November,effectivelybanning same-sex marriagein California
and throwingthousandsof couples
into legal limbo.
In the days since the election,
queers have filled the streetsto
protestand celebs like Wanda Sykes
have come out of the closet to put
a face on this crucialcivil rights
issue.So you might wonder why,
when some activistshave called for
a boycott of Utah, I didn't pull our
travel article on skiingin the state.
Easy: BoycottingUtah'stourismonly
hurtsthe areas most supportiveof
queers, like super gay-friendlyPark
City (home to Queer Loungeand
Sundance)and Salt Lake City (a
town teeming with activistqueers).
I'd rather penalizethose who voted
against us, not our supporters.What
would you do?
Diane Anderson-Minshall
101curve
''As a nancy boy who grew up with a lisp so pronounced I sounded
like a leaky tire, I couldn't relate to tomboys," admits best-selling
author Marc Acito,whose comic novel, How I Paid for College, won
the Ken Kesey Award and contains a lesbian twist. "But as I became
an adult, I realized it was the dykes who really made things happen
in our community. So, when a disparaging article appeared on a leading LGBT website, I knew I had to defend my Sapphic sisters from
such sissy slander:' With his article "Why I Heart Lesbians" (page 40),
Acito does just that. His commentaries regularly appear on NPR's All
Things Considered. His latest book, Attack of the Theater People, is in
bookstores now.
"Yes, it's going to suck. It may take serious work, but becoming friends
with your ex can be attempted if ~ou really, reall'., re~lly want it;' writes contributing writer Jen Berkowitzabout befnendmg an old flame.
Berkowitz's ex, Leila, deserves to be thanked formally for inspiring
"How to Stay Friends with Your Ex" (page 43). Berkowitz also wishes
to thank her other exes, who have taught her all about being, and not
being, friends. When she is not giving shout-outs, Berkowitz is living
in New York, Los Angeles, and New Mexico, writing, producing TV
and taking pictures.
"Maybe I've always secretly wanted to be tall, blonde and tant wonders
DahliaSchweitzer,
trying to explain her fascination with Playboy. It was
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity when she managed to get an invite to
an exclusive party at the mansion, which she writes about in "Waiting
for Hefner" (page 48), even if it ended up being more informative than
scandalous. Schweitzer has spent most of her life in New York and Tel
Aviv, where she has lived, loved and worked as a writer, artist and photographer. But it was in Berlin where she found fame, transforming
herself into a singing, dancing, strip-teasing queen of electrocabaret.
Schweitzer is the author of Seduce Me, a collection of erotic short stories. She lives in Los Angeles where she teaches writing.
,..
Movie producer JD Disalvatore took a bevy of Hollywood hotties to shoot a PSA for The Point
Foundation including 1 L Word stars Rose Rollins and Clementine Ford, Loving Annabelle dir~
ector Katherine Brooks and star Erin Kelly 2 Work Out's Jackie Warner and Rebecca Cardon
3 Point scholars 4 Disalvatore and South of Nowhere's Gabrielle Christian 5 Keara Watkins 6
Crew members 7 Dante's Cove star Thea Gill 8 Brooks and Kelly 9 Girls on set
January/February
2009 \ 11
FAMILY
EQUALIT
COUNCIL
1 Kristin Ebeling (wearing a hat) from Skate Like a Girl gets love from Portland,
Ore:s queer burlesque troupe, Bang Bang Betty's Big Beautiful Bombshells 2 Cynthia
Nixon (right) and Family Equality Council's executive director, Jennifer Chrisler, at the
organization's annual dinner 3 The Vagilantes, a new queer hip hop/ sexelectronic all lady trio,
(from left) Lisa Ganser, Maxi Vagilance and Taffi Vagilance, are regulars at Flaming Cabaret
in Minneapolis 4 Work Out's Briana Stockton (left), comic Suzanne Westenhoefer and The
L Word's Elizabeth Keener at the POWER UP Awards Gala in Los Angeles 5 Mary J.Blige
performs at a No on Proposition 8 fund-raiser in front of hundreds of supporters in Los
Angeles 6 Emily Croclet (right) winner of the curve-Estrojam subscribe-to-win contest,
which included airfare and tickets to the festival 7 2008 SAGE awardee Martina Navratilova
(right) arrives at the 30th Anniversary Gala with funny lady Kate Clinton
gO
By the time she was 10 years old, Shelly
says she had learned some major
Boyum-Breen
life lessons-all from participating in sports.
"I learned early on how to lose-how to
fall down and, more importantly, get back up;'
she recalls. "I learned how to lead and how
to follow. I learned about ... pushing myself
beyond limits I thought were possible:'
Two years ago, after three years in management positions with the Minnesota Lynx,
Boyum-Breen took that love of sports to the
next level, helping found Foundation IX, a
volunteer-based fundraising organization
that helps girls participate in sports and fitness activities. They award grants to girls who
want to take part in sports, but cannot afford
the cost of equipment and entry fees.
Since 2007 the group has awarded grants
totaling about $20,000 to more than 80 girls,
who participate in everything from volleyball
to tae kwon do. Although General Mills and
the Minneapolis Foundation have supplied
some corporate funding, most donations
come from individuals. Boyum-Breen says it's
all about giving back, because people know
what a positive experience playing sports has
been in their own lives.
Improving access to participation in sports is
not all Boyum-Breen advocates."It is extremely
important that we not only continue to support girls and women in sports but to continue
to advocate as men and women to strive for
equality in every facet of life;' she says.
14
I curve
She was nicknamed "Soldier" long ago, when
she dreamed of following her grandfather into
has taken up
Petrova
the military. But Desislava
a whole different fight.
"I did become a soldier, but in a different
way;' says Petrova. "I became a frontline soldier
in the battle for the same happiness, the same
sorrows and the equal life opportunities for the
LGBTQ community:'
Born in post-Communist Bulgaria 28 years
ago, Petrova was subjected early on to harassment and beatings for being out. She recalls her
uncle trying to kill her with a knife, screaming
at her, "You are debauching my daughters!"
Petrova took to the streets, warrior-style.
She helped to found Gemini, the only LGBT
rights-based NGO in Bulgaria. As chairperson of the group, she was responsible for
its overall management and she successfully
implemented over 30 national and international projects.
"We've helped LGBT people to find their
way in the hetero-normative, patriarchal world
by talking to worried parents and children that
have been kicked out of their homes, holding
the hands of victims of violence and encouraging them to seek justice, and making the LGBT
community visible and active;' she says.
Today, she and her partner live in Spain.
The consummate activist, she recently joined
the European Voluntary Service of Youth in
Action. There, she is part of a team working
to promote respect and diversity, visiting and
collaborating with other NGOs, high schools,
town halls, public libraries, prisons and social
community centers.
"My home is everywhere I go, but my
native land is one, Bulgaria, and I love it;' says
Petrova. "So sooner or later I'll be back:'
Co o
Everyone wants to make a difference, says
The question is how.
ChrisCrespo.
"You don't have to solve world hunger
to make a difference;' says Crespo, LGBTA
Inclusiveness Strategy director at the accounting giant Ernst & Young. "Sometimes you
just need to ask a question that no one else
has asked yet:' Clearly, she's been asking the
right questions.
In 2003 Crespo helped found the Beyond
Network, E&Y's affinity group for LGBT
people and allies. Under her leadership, E&Y
was the first Big Four accountancy and professional service firm to score a 100 percent
rating on the HRC's Corporate Equality
Index, and the only Big Four to include
LGBT business owners in its supplier diversity program. Today, she is one of only a few
American business leaders focused full-time
on LGBT issues.
She says that fear and ignorance are to
blame for anti-gay legislation. In the workplace,
she says, the LGBT community has normalized the issue by showing that it's a group of
successful contributors who deserve respect.
"When given respect and equal access to
care for our families and career opportunities,
we pay it back with productivity and loyalty
that extends everyone's engagement through
inclusion;' says Crespo. 'J\nd then our reach
multiplies:'
Crespo lives outside Pittsburgh with her
partner of 24 years, Jane, where they are raising their 10-year-old triplets. She says some
of her best coming out experiences occur because of their children.
"Kids are great examples for all of us. They
don't care about differences; they just want to
be friends with the kids they play with:'
Curvatures
THE RUN DOWN
TheFBIreporteda 1 percent
decreaseoverallin hate
crimesin 2007.Therewere
decreasesin crimesagainst
raceandreligion,but there
wasa 6 percentincrease
in casesof prejudiceagainst
sexualorientation.
e
e
Thefour finalistcitiesout of
14 biddersto hostthe 2014
GayGamesare Miami,
Washington,
D.C.,Cleveland
and Boston.Thehostcity will
be selectedin October2009
bythe Federation
of Gay
GamesAssemblyat its annual
meetingin Cologne,Germany,
wherethe 2010gameswill
be held.
Scientistsestimatethat the
AIDSvirusdatesbackto
sometimebetween1884and
1924.Andstudiesshowthat
the time coincideswith the
riseanddevelopment
of cities
in Africa,whichmayhave
helpedthe spreadof the virus
throughoutthe population.
e
0
e,
f
e
y
TheGayandLesbian
MedicalAssociation's
online providerdirectoryis now
linkedto Aetna's.Thissearch
tool givesgaysandlesbians
the freedomto find a healthcareproviderwho openly
welcomesLGBTpatients.
TheLGBTCommunityCenter
in NewYorkCitycelebrated
its 11thWomen'sEventand
25thanniversary
with a salute
to the sixthandfinal season
of TheL Word.Proceeds
fromthe dinnerandcocktail
partybenefitedan arrayof
programs,servicesandactivities organizedby the Center.
[FERNANDA
SILVA]
The Test Lab
Under the weatherr Got a killer hangover? Need a pick-me-up?
Curve staffers sample a few of the supplemental drinks on the market.
IG
HANSEN'S
NATURAL
PRIMALENERGY
TEA
OLALOAEFFERVESCENT NUUNACTIVE
VITAMINDRINK
HYDRATION
TABLETS
Sugar-Free
Pomegranate
GreenTea:Theinitialtaste
wasveryheavyanddark.It
hada syrupyconsistency.
I immediately
sensedthe
sugar-free
taste-no
resemblance
to pomegranatesat all. Butaftera few
sips,thetastebecame
lighter-actuallydelicious.
I waitedfor the effectsof
the energydrink,andI felt
themwithin1Ominutes.
Ahhhh,nowI'm zinging
andreadyto go dancing...
hmmm... shouldI drink
more?
Cran-Raspberry:
Thispink
powderinstantlyfoams,
leavinga pinkswamp
andbubblymasses.
The
textureis flat, butthe
bright,smoothtasteof
raspberrycompensates.
Withina few minutesI
thoughtI felt myeyesmoving quickly,my headache
clearing,my bodyfeeling
a little perkyandmy brain
semi-pleasantly
awake.But
nah,it's no differentfrom
otherenergyC-types-just
flatter.
Tri-Berry:
Wasbubblyand
faint in flavor.I dropped
two tabletsto getthefull
affect,buttherewasno
realsweetness-onlya
semi-pleasant
taste.After
drinkingit, I did notfeel
anyeffects,nordid I work
outafterward,so I wasn't
ableto measureanynoticeablehydration.I would
drinkit again-prior to a
workoutor afterdrinking
largeamountsof alcohol.
AmazonCitrusGreenTea:
Zing!A satisfyingpopof
thetop yieldsa not-toosweet,fizzybeverage
with
a refreshingcitrustang.
Notlikeanygreentea
I'veeverhad,but notbad.
Withginseng,vitaminsand
EGCG-whatever
that is-I
thinkI feel it tappinginto
my primalenergyalready.
Sport-MangoTangerine:
Thisreallydoestastelike
mangosandtangerines.
Of
all the powdereddrinksI've
had,it's the closestto real
juice.Nottoosweet,with
hintsof acidity.Lingers
nicelyonthe palate[swish,
swish,spit].Topmarksfor
this one.
OrangeGinger:I was
expectinga zestycitrus
freshness,
butwhatI got
wasmorelikeTangmixed
withAlka-Seltzer.
The
pharma-shaped
bottle
saysit's sugar-free,
but
Nuunhaspackedloads
of sweetnessintothese
strangetablets-definitely
notmy ideaof a refreshing
thirstquencher.
Pomegranate
GreenTea:
Notsurehowthis drink
getsawaywith being
labelednaturalwhenit has
manyof the sameingredientsasothercarbonated
energydrinks,butwhat
the hell!It's a sweetdrink
with lotsof kick (andplenty
of caffeine,ginsengandB
vitamins).Perfectfor latenightstudying.
Sport-Lemon-Lime:
Finally,a vitaminC drink
that doesn'ttastelike
powder.Thiscitrus-flavored
drinkwill hydrateyouwith
plentyof vitaminsfor an
energyboost.Greatfor
fightingoff colds.
KonaCola:Beingthe
coffeeaddictthat I am,
I wassureI wouldlove
NuunKonaCola.Alas,it
smelled-and tastedlikeflat cola.Notmycup
of tea,Or,in this case,
notmycupof electrolytereplacingactivewater.
Sure,bottledwateris
cool.It's chic.Models
drinkit.Thebrandyou
drinkis a statussymbol.
Butthefinancialand
environmental
costsare
devastating.
In 2007,
Americans
spentmore
than$15billionon
bottlesof water,mostof
whichendedup in landfills. Manycompanies
haveattempteda sexy
alternative
to the wasteful plasticbottle.Sigg
hasactuallysucceeded.
Its lightweightmetal
waterbottlesaresleek,
feelgreaton yourlips
andhaveno lingering
tasteor odor.Theycome
in a plethoraof sizes,
colorsanddesigns,so
pickonethat suitsyou
andsavea few bucks
in the longrun.($17
andup,mysigg.com)
[KRISTINA. SMITH]
January/February
2009
I 15
Curvatures
02
A Different Kind of Animal Love1N
Tia Resleure's apartment is filled with ani,
mals. There are dogs, pigeons, monkeys and
goats, and a dray of squirrels on the table.
Two slight Italian greyhounds dance around
the house, while another is mounted on the
wall. "I don't have a problem decorating my
0 house with taxidermy; I think it's beautiful;'
IF O H
E says Resleure, who sits on a chaise lounge,
U
GI
T stroking a dog's ear.
TH G
OULD IT BE?
Resleure has an extensive collection of
Victorian and Edwardian taxidermy, as
50% well as an expanding portfolio of her own
Mychocolate work (acaseofcuriosities.com). The entry,
way to her San Francisco apartment holds
30% one of Resleure's "diva,pigeons;' a series she
MyTV is working on. The white pigeon, with its
cocked head and downward gaze, is in stark
7% contrast to the blue silk gown that envelops
Mygirlfriend
it. "Taxidermy, for me, is like playing with
dolls;' she says.
From the traditional taxidermists who
Mycar
mount their husbands' hunting trophies in the basement, to
6% the artsy kids who tattoo animal hides in studios, taxidermy
Mycomputer is gaining popularity among women. "It's going through a real
renaissance right now;' says Resleure."There are a lot of young
7%
to a pups coming up in the art world:'
*According
poll
curvemag.com
One of these young pups is a San Francisco artist
named Maya Bookbinder, whose day job is actually bind,
ing books. She began to love taxidermy in the nature lab
at Rhode Island School of Design. "I was doing taxidermy
repair work and then I just got kind of obsessed;' says the
23,year,old.
Eventually, Bookbinder came to San Francisco to study
with Resleure. Under Resleure's instruction, she learned to
work with Italian greyhounds. "Italian greyhounds are so
hard to do, because you can see everything;' says Resleure,
pointing to the thin,faced dog on the wall. As if to reinforce
the point, one of her Italian greyhounds walks by, shaking its
veiny legs.
living and
Resleure has a fondness for animals-both
dead. ''A lot of people have said that I'm insensitive to ani,
mals, but I love them;' she says. It was Resleure's connection
to animals that brought her to taxidermy in the first place.
Growing up in a dysfunctional home, she turned to animals
to escape the world of abuse. "The dogs were the only people
who listened to me;' she says, laughing. The one connection
her family shared was their love of nature-her parents loved
natural history and her grandfather had a taxidermy collec,
tion. Resleure says that as a child her favorite book was the
Big GoldenBook of Fairytales,which centers on anthropomor,
phic characters. "That's sort of what my collection feels like;'
16 I curve
she says, gesturing at the diorama of sword,fighting frogs in
pirate shirts.
Resleure returns to Aissi, the Italian greyhound mounted
on the wall-it was her first greyhound mount and a pet she
loved dearly. She stares at the face and says, "You can't put the
dog's spirit in it ... I look at this and I see a beautiful animal,
but I don't see my dog:'
Resleure usually doesn't do mounts of other people's pets,
and she doesn't use any endangered species. "I think about
the ethics of what I do a lot;' she says. But Resleure, like many
taxidermists, has come under sharp attack from animal rights
activists. "They say that I'm going to burn in hell;' she says,
adding that their posters of animals are more gruesome than
anything she has mounted.
Bookbinder also contemplates the morals of her work.
A vegan for some time, she understands people's aversion to
dead animals, but says she '1ust (doesn't] have the baggage
about it that some people do:'
Neither Resleure nor Bookbinder are hunters so they get
their animals in other ways-they are roadkill, donations,
purchases or pets that have died. "People used to bring road,
kill to my door. It's really just recycling;' says Bookbinder. But
her San Francisco apartment is too small for her to stuff big
animals; she mostly works with pelts now.
Resleure and Bookbinder both have big dreams for
their taxidermy careers. ''I'd love to learn to do birds;' says
Bookbinder excitedly. Resleure dreams of opening a bar to
house her taxidermy, ''I'd like to do the best Italian grey,
hound mount in the world, better than the one in the British
Museum:' [KRISTINA. SMITH]
1
1
Subverting Labels
Labels Are For Jars is a volunteer-run campaign that works
to raise money for the operation of the Cor Unum Meal
Center, a not-for-profit organization that feeds the hungry
in Lawrence, Mass. The city is in such an economic crisis
that 33.1 percent of its population lives below the poverty
line. Labels Are For Jars fights hunger and injustice by selling T-shirts with negative labels, like "addict;' on the front
and the slogan "Labels Are For Jars" across the back. The
campaign gives all the proceeds from its sales to the Cor
Unum Meal Center in the hope of removing the "hungry"
label in two ways.
Its mission is clear, as its website states: "We want to
remove the societal label. In Lawrence, which is the poorest
city in the state, most of the people who are hungry are lowincome families with children and are the working poor. Too
often, their choice is between paying rent and buying food:'
The sale of the T-shirts, via the web store and direct sales, by
community-organized street teams and in Newbury Comics
retail stores, is an effort to counter the effects of poverty.
According to the organization, once a label is used in a
negative way, the people to whom it is applied are no longer
perceived as a human beings deserving of individual recognition, respect and assistance. Terms such as "geek;' "pacifist;'
'Jock," "slacker" and "homeless" across the front of the T-shirts
attempt to defy the social stigma they carry. For example, one
out of every 32 adults is either incarcerated, on probation or
on parole. That, according to the organization, is a lot of people
to put the "prisoner" label on. Even the acclaimed fashion designer John Varvatos is in on the action, with an exclusive 100
percent merino black wool cap with "hungry" on the front and
the Labels Are For Jars and John Varvatos logos on the back.
All shirts are packed in a plastic jar labeled with a suggestion:
Fill it with donations and ship it back to the campaign. Dogooders can also start their own street teams and raise money
and awareness. [COLLEEN
MCCAFFREY]
"It was kind of controversial because I played a character who was gay. People were like, 'You gonna
kiss a girl? In a movie?' People were against it, but
I knew I could do something special with that role."
>> _.._
..~,-·
ban robber Cleopatra m n et I Off
"I think part of the reason there are so many gay female
comedians is because gay women are used to
subverting gender expectations on them. Speaking your mind is considered a male quality, and in
stand-up you have to speak your mind."
y
agaz ne
I've come into my own since then and I feel much more
comfortable with myself. And I've been closer to
my parents since coming out than any other time, I
think." >
en
re
Gov Deva Patrick and Dian
"I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a
girl-Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to
strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She's
mesmerizing.">>
X
January/February
2009
I 17
Helen Stewart
is whether to choose silver or gold, but, for fashionistas, the choice
For most, the hardest part in deciding what kind of jewelry to wear
a Malibu, Calif.-based jewelry maker that designs sexy, earthy
is always both. Helen Stewart, creative director of Jewels of Avallon,
tion pieces she designs are wearable art-a tribute to modern day
jewelry for today's bohemians, understands this. The unique conversa
goddesses, fairies and mermaids.
ating semiprecious stones, real leaves, coral, sand dollars,
Each piece is electro-formed in sterling silver or 24-karat gold, incorpor
with glittering gold dust. Others have iridescent stones and shimsea horses and starfish. Some pieces look as if they were dusted
mering crystals.
can be cuseach piece is handmade-one-of-a-kind-and
With colors that invoke the most beautiful oceans, forests and gardens,
your
l,'Follow
which is one of my favorite quotes by Joseph Campbel
tomized to the client's specifications."! always try to follow my bliss,
two
Avallon
of
Stewart, who is a mother of three. She started Jewels
bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before;" says
designer.
years ago, after finishing an apprenticeship with a clothing and jewelry
with the beach as her backyard Stewart recalls her inspiration
Malibu,
in
Growing up
nes and seaweed
to start her own line, "I loved making necklaces with sea shells, moonsto
along with her
for string, and pretending that I was a mermaid:' This childhood fantasy,
of Avalon, written
favorite book, became a strong influence for her collection. The Mists
Arthurian legend
the
explores
Bradley,
Zimmer
Marion
author
by lesbian fantasy fiction
says, "the ideas
Stewart
Avalon,
of
women
the
by
ed
Captivat
ve.
from a woman's perspecti
flow:'
to create the pieces just
She wears a few
Stewart's cousin, The L Word star, Daniela Sea, is a big fan of her work.
"People always
them.
got
she
where
her
ask
always
people
custom pieces all the time and says
of mine;' says
friends
artist
to
stylists
from
are,
they
comment on how amazing and unique
Her work
world.
the
through
move
I
as
talisman
Sea. "Her pieces act as a kind of magic
truly inspires me:'
traveled around
As a trained Shaman who works with healing stones, Stewart has
stones blessed
and
shells
gems,
selecting
the world to South America, Egypt and Europe
Hudson also
Kate
growingis
od
Hollywo
with healing powers. While Stewart's fame in
and posline
jewelry
men's
a
include
n
future plans for expansio
wears her jewelry-her
sibly wedding commitment rings.
1slcurve
e
of e Curvatures
Is It Only Skin Deep?
Check out who's getting facetime.
I
This month: Sex, gossip and politics-everything your momma told you not to talk about in
public.
The ads haven't run yet, but if you've heard the
rumors, it's true: EllenDeGeneres
is the next face
of Cover Girl cosmetics. Move over, Queen
Latifah.
Here's the newest easy, breezy, beautiful icon.
Not everyone is happy that LindsayLohanand
Samantha Ronson (below) have confirmed
their relationship. Lohan's imprisoned father,
Michael, who disapproves of the pairing, went
on the record after the announcement, calling
Ronson a "dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity" in an email to the photo
agency X17. "Have you ever
seen her apartment?" he
wrote. "For God's sake, when
she runs out of toilet paper
she tells people to use the
cardboard roll:'
Lohan stood up for her
woman, telling the New York
Post, "My father obviously
needs to be on medication to
control his moods;' and subsequently filing a restraining
order against him.
Now that's going to make for one awkward
family reunion.
There was really only one reason to watch
the movie Transformers when it was released:
MeganFox.But now, as revealed in a detailed
GQ interview, there's a whole lot
more to her.
At 18, Fox had a crush on a
woman. "I was in love with this girl
that worked at the Body Shop;' the
22-year-old actor said. "I decided
that I was going to get her to love
me back, and I went out of my way
to create a relationship with this
girl, a stripper named Nikita;' who
performed "these beautiful slow
dances to Aerosmith ballads:' For Fox, trying
to create a relationship involved wooing her
with small gifts and encouraging her to ditch
the pole.
Alas, her infatuation proved short-lived: Fox,
who's engaged to ex 90210 star Brian Austin
Green, doesn't consider herself gay. However,
that's not going to stop her from admiring the
fairer sex: "I just think that all humans are born
with the ability to be attracted to both sexes;' she
says. ''And lately I've been obsessed with Jenna
Jameson,
but ... oh boy:'
Oh boy, indeed.
Millions of lesbians cried when Sen. Hillary
Clintondidn't make the '08 ticket,
but they cringed when Gov.Sarah
Palin,a woman who reportedly attempted to ban gay books in the
Wasilla, Ala., public library, did.
But some of you may have been
wondering, where was Condi?
A
Republican
National
Committee source close to the
vice-presidential selection process told investigative journal-
ist Ian Halperin that
after Obama picked
Biden over Clinton
as his running mate,
the Republican party
became even more determined to have a woman on their side. Former Secretary of State
Condoleezza
Ricewas one of the obvious choices-except her chances were dashed by lesbian
rumors about her and girl friend Randy Bean,
with whom Rice shares home ownership and a
bank account.
In an interview on The EarlyShow,LynneCheney,
wife of Vice President Dick Cheney, was asked
her feelings about the possibility that her lesbian
daughter, Mary, might marry longtime girlfriend
Heather Poe, while same-sex marriage was legal
(briefly) in California.
"Well, I would wish my daughter to have happiness and the freedom to make her own choices;'
Cheney replied matter-of-factly. "The vice president said in the debate with Joe Lieberman, ever
so long ago in 2000, that freedom in this country
ought to mean freedom for everyone:'
January/February
2009 \ 19
Advice
Lipstick& Dipstick
Bun in the Oven
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I am a married
35-year-old woman and I'm as gay as they
get. Long story short: I tried to be straight. I
got married and then got pregnant and now,
here I am, ready to pop. I love my husband
with all my heart and could never imagine
my life without him. He's always there for me,
but when it comes to sex and intimacy, that's
where it ends. What should I do? - Prego
Peggy in Pasadena
Dipstick:You're pregnant? E-ouch.
Lipstick:I hear it really hurts.
Get an epidural and then ask for a prescription for Xanax to help you deal with all of this
afterward.
Dipstick:Coming out right after you've had a
baby isn't great timing, but it's not the worst
we've heard. It's a good thing you can't imagine
life without your husband, because no matter
where the rest of your relationship goes, you two
are now tied together for life. What you need to
do, once you recover, and in between feedings
and changing diapers, is to come up with a plan.
Leave him and take the baby? Stay married, but
work out an arrangement to see women on the
side? No matter what you do, find a good coming out support group 'and a therapist. You're
going to need both!
Lipstick:You're right, Dip-if ever there was a
couple who needed therapy, these two are poster
children. Prego pants, set a good example for
your kid, even though she or he is young, by
confessing everything to your husband (maybe
wait until your hormones have balanced out).
Right now, he is your life partner and honesty is
the only way to go. (Be prepared: Even though
he probably already suspects you want a slice of
pie, he may well freak out, especially since you
just had a child.) Then deal with the fallout. It
won't be easy, but living with this angst is harder,
trust me. Be brave, forgive yourself and believe
in who you are.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: Why does it seem
like everyone in the lesbian community hates
butch lesbians? Today, I had four people tell
me: "If I wanted to
date a man, I would."
I was shocked. I'm
100 percent woman.
Just ask my exes!
One of these people
actually told me I disgust her.
What's up with the hate? - Beat Up Butch
Lipstick:OK, calm down there, lil' butchie. No
need to get your men's briefs in a bunch. Believe
it or not, there's actually no "let's destroy the
butches" conspiracy going on, and what's happening is that you've recently run into some serious
ass-holes. Have your chakras cleansed and give
the world and its people another chance.
Dipstick:Lipstick, you have no idea what you're
talking about. While I do receive letters of undying devotion from would-be suitors on a regular
basis, it's the butch hate-mail I get that sticks to
the sides of my heart. These are some that I've
actually received: "What's the use of having left
a man to be with a bunch of women who look,
act and smell like men?" And: "You know what
would be great? If all butches were shipped to
a deserted island. That would be awesome! You
could have flannel parties and play softball with
your dildos:'
Even though that island sounds like a lot of
fun, comments like that really sting. As tough as
we butches look on the outside, most of us are
really tender on the inside. If you're not attracted to butches, that's fine, but why must people
be so mean? Even though I know the haters are
just insecure with their own identity, their venom is poisonous, especially to the young studs
just coming out. It's time for our whole community to rise in support of the beautiful butches
out there.
Jeez, Dip. I had no idea. Next time you
Lipstick:
get one of these emails, forward it to me. Those
spineless haters will have no chance when I open
up Lipstick's can of whoop ass.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I'm in a relationship with a woman, Annie, who lives hundreds of miles away. I'm currently a student
and Annie is in the military. We've always
been faithful to each other. Hell, I even stayed
Hot & Not
with her through her six-month deployment
to Iraq. Recently, she found an Internet social
networking site (she told me it was initially
for laughs), and found a girl's entry that
interested her. She emailed her after I told
her it was OK. They finally met for coffee
with some of our friends.
Since then, she's told me what's going on
with this girl and I'm trying to be as supportive as I can, since she's had trouble finding
friends and having fun since she got back
from Baghdad. But I'm worried and feeling lousy because I don't feel like I'm good
enough for her. I'm afraid she wants to be
with this woman. She insists that I'm the one
she loves. Should I take a hard-line stance
on this other girl? Or should I continue with
my supportive attitude? - Angst-ridden in
Albuquerque
Lipstick:[Sniff, sniff] Dip, do you smell that? It's
a skunk.
Dipstick:Yes,
I smell a skunk, but it's not Annie,
it's Albuquerque. What do you mean, "I even
stayed with her through her six,month deploy,
ment to Iraq:' You think you deserve a medal for
that? That's what girlfriends do. And they let
their partners make friends and pursue inter,
ests of their own. Especially when they're not
around. Long,distance relationships are hard.
But if they're based on anything, it's trust and
communication. She's not hiding anything from
you. She's being totally upfront about this new
friend. I say you need to relax and let Annie
enjoy her new friendship.
Lipstick:
You're too trusting, Dipstick. I don't like
what I'm hearing. What you need to do is listen
to your intuition, Albuquerque. If the red alert is
still going off, then I think it's time for a surprise
visit. But even if you decide it's innocent enough,
your bigger problem is that you don't feel worthy
of her love.
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer once said, "You are
always a valuable, worthwhile human beingnot because anybody says so, not because you're
successful, not because you make a lot of mon,
ey-but because you decide to believe it and for
no other reason:' You've got to get some self
worth, New Mexico, and then you'll stop wor,
rying about losing your girl because you'll realize
what an amazing catch you are.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I believe I
have fallen mistakenly into a lesbo pit-
fall. I'm a 30-year-old Asian American
postal worker living in Omaha, Neb.
My girlfriend, who I've been off and on
with for three years, is driving me crazy.
We're so fundamentally different that we
almost kill each other sometimes. She had
a substance abuse problem when we met,
and I believe she has kicked the habit. She
has control issues but works hard to get
over them. I need my space and don't like
being caged. We've tried to be friends, but
of course, ended up with benefits, which
led to her wanting "us" back. I'm kind of
noncommittal at this point, but she wants
to possess me. I try to be strong, but when
she kisses me I still melt and cave in. So, my
question is, if you have the intense passion
we have and keep working on it, is there
any hope? Or will one of us go insane or
commit murder? - Perplexed Pussyhead
Lipstick:Uh, the fact that you used the word
"murder" is alarming! I assume you meant it in
jest, but Christ, the usage alone is horrendously
telling. You need to get out of her codependent
claws, even if you're heartbroken about it (and
you will be for a while). And if it's really that
lethal, you need to get very far away, like, move to
another state. Just because you firecrackers com,
bust when you touch doesn't mean it's healthy or
worth saving; the contrary in this sitch, I'm afraid.
The toxicity could be lethal and it may, God
forbid, trigger violence. Put away your freshly
sharpened saber, the Chinese throwing stars and
the nunchucks and lose the chick.
Dipstick:I know exactly what this is about: the
hot sex. Reminds me of one of my early lovers.
We too had a passionate night in Omaha. We
were on a cross,country trip and had a big fight a
few hours earlier in Lincoln. Fought again in Des
Moines and had great sex in Davenport. Finally
broke up in Chicago and I had to hitch the rest of
the way to the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival.
But my point is: fire is fire, whether it's fighting or
fucking. My guess is your dysfunction has to do
with her addictions. If you really want to make
things work with this girl, get to an AA meeting
and learn the things you can and can't change.
You'll decide for yourself whether or not you can
make this into a healthy relationship.
These advice gurus are the authors
of Lipstick & Dipstick's Essential
Guide to Lesbian Relationships.
Aswe headintoa newyear,Lipstickand
Dipstickwantto makesureyou'reuponthe
latestlesbiantrends.Howcanyouknowwhat's
in thisyear,andwhatis so2008?Lipstickand
Dipstickhavebeentravelingthe countryon
theirbooktour,studyinglesbianinsandouts,so
here'swhatyouneedto knowfor 2009.
LIPSTICK
NipplePiercings8
Inthe newyear,it's !
all abouttheta-tas. :
:
ClitHoodies
Theonlythingthat
shouldbe pokingyou
downthereis
anotherwoman.
Sundried8
TomatoHummus !
Sundried
tomatoes :
areso gayand :
alwaysa hit at the !
Superbowl
potluck.
RedPepper
Hummus
Redpeppersare
notgayandwill
just attractflies.
HitachiMagicWand TheRabbitHabit
Thislittlekaraoke Simplifyandfocus
microphone-personal onyourlover.There
massager
will keep is just toomuch
youentertained
every goingonwith
nightof theweek. the Rabbit.
Monogamy
8
Relationships
arehot
in '09.Workonfinding
oneor enhancing
the
intimacyin yours.
Threesomes
Withlesbians
(especially
if two
arein a relationship),
thingsalwaysgo
sideways.
DIPSTICK
SIS
Lovingyourbody,8
nomatteritsshape !
Thefatexperience
com :
will showyou
to :
getempowered.!
Dieting
Everyone
knowsNew
Year'sresolutions
neverstickanyway!
SextMessaging
H-tSexClubs
Youcangetit onany- ! Dark,stickyandwhat
time,anywhere,
even : is thatodor?
at work! :
AuNaturalBush8 BrazilianWax
Puffit out,likea 'fro. : Baldwentoutwhen
! Sineadcameout.
StarTattoos8 Rainbow
Jewelry
EvenLindsayLohan ! Sendthe rainbow
hasone. : backto Oz.
Ask them anythingat curvemag.com.
January/February
2009
I 21
Advice
Astro Grrl
New Year, New Fortune
(Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
Money Capricorn
Sex:Ask and you shall receive. Ask again and you shall receive
willflow again. But too much asking and not enough doing will bore
her. Career:Money will flow effortlessly from your wallet to
effortlessly many expensive and useless purchases. Try to invest rather
than divest.
from your
(Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
wallet to Aquarius
Sex:Allow yourself to be spoiled silly by some well-endowed
your many benefactress. This doesn't happen often enough for you.
Career:You make an interesting first impression with the
expensive power elite. Try again, this time without wearing those cellophane shorts.
and useless
(Feb. 20-March 20)
purchases. Pisces
Sex:You possess great charisma and can dramatically improve
Tryto invest the value of your personal stock. Sell
it before the market closes! Career:
ratherthan Don't rely on intuition when it comes
to career decisions. Stick to dredging
divest. up
the cold, hard facts and then burying them when you don't agree.
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Sex: A mysterious lady makes her
intentions known to you this January.
Are your intentions the same? Whoo
hoo! Career:Don't impede your career
progress by jumping to conclusions.
In fact, you'll do better by making
yourself scarce on the job. Any excuse
for a vacation!
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
Sex:Does she or doesn't she? You may
get some mixed signals from platonic
girlfriends. Look both ways and proceed with caution. Career:Listen carefully to what the senior
staff says and see if it matches what they actually do. You
will be surprised. Or maybe you won't.
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
Sex:Actions will speak louder and prouder than your words
this January. It's a good thing, too. Who wants hot air when
you can turn it steamy? Career:Charm those with power and
see how far you can climb. But keep any compromising photos in a safe place, in case you need them later.
Business relationships might be tested this January. The outcome will depend on how much you cram for the big test the
night before.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Sex:In 2009 you'll be having sex ... and then you'll have
more sex. Your appetite knows no bounds. Will you bite off
more than you can chew? Let's hope so! Career:Expect to
waste time on the job because your recommendations are
not followed and misunderstandings occur. Take several
long lunches and leave it to others to untangle.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Sex:Relationships become stronger and sizzling hot. Avoid
overcooking by keeping the flame moderate but continuous.
Career:Fun will get in the way of work throughout January.
How will you decide which 1s
more important? Uh-oh.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
Sex: Libras are sure to set the
water cooler boiling. Office flirtations become heated. But will she
still love you by the next pay period? Career:Add a bit of creativity
to all your mundane tasks. Not
only will you end up with more
responsibility, you'll also leave the
crummy work to others.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Sex:You are charming, attractive
and loving all through January.
Who are you and what have
you done with Scorpio? Career:
Secure your boundaries at work
and look for mentors and protecyou to take full advantage of
enable
will
It
tors on the job.
others' weaknesses.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Sex:Entertain more at home this January. Not only will
gal pals beat a path to your door, they'll also be willing to
help prepare and clean up. Hurry! Career:Your words pack
a punch now. Better put on the kid gloves before you hurt
someone and derail your progress.
Astrologer Charlene Lichtenstein is the author of
Herscopes: A Guide to Astrology for Lesbians. To
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
orgo
Sex:The new year brings new adventures and exotic love. seewhat elseis in your stars,visit thestarryeye.com
How exotic is up to you. Step out of your shell, Crab. Career: to her blogat thestarryeye.typepad.com.
221 curve
;J
5
5
r(
:.I
Relationships Advice
Date Night Essentials
Justin Case:She'llbe pleasantly
surprisedwhenyouwhipout
yourcompactandout comesa condomto wraparoundherfavorite
sextoy.Thisniftylittle blackcaseis chicanddiscreet,with
a mirroranda hiddencompartment
that safelyholdstwo
condoms.Perfectfor slidingintoyourpocketfor a trip
to yourgirlfriend'sor a safenightoutonthe town.($12,
cleosboutique.com)
I
f
WetNaturals:
ThesepH-balanced,
glycerin-andparabenfree "intimacygels"aremadewith botanicals,
vitaminsandantioxidants.
Theyremind
usthat what'sgoodfor the faceis alsogoodfor the coach.($14andup,drugstore.com)
BoobLube:It soundsmoresalaciousthanit is, butthis fun
lavenderherbalsoapfromSavetheTa-Taswill helpyougive
yourselves
breastself-examswhilesudsingup.Thebottlehasa
how-toanda checklistthat youmarkoff eachmonth.Partof the proceeds
fromthe lubeandthe SavetheTa-Tasteesgoto breastcancerresearch.
($15,savethetatas.com)
Destination
Dinners:
If stayingin beatsgoingout,sendthe girlfriend
a yummyDestination
Dinner.Thesedinnerrecipekits fromdifferentpartsof the globecontainall
the hard-to-findspices,saucesandcondiments,
a how-toguide,a shoppinglist,authentictable
settingsuggestions
andfun triviaonthe countryyou'reeatingfrom.TryKorea'stastybulgogi.
($25,destinationdinners.com)
TrojanHerPleasure
Vibrating
Touch:
Thistiny fingertipmassageris inexpen~ive
andwon'tflag
securityat the airport,the wayyourothervibratingfriendswill. ($20,vibratingtouch.com)
Doormat Seeks Muddy Boots
+-.lk -.bo"'+
clykc.Jr-.M-.!
Reply to: pers,900007675376523@craigslist.org
Date: 2008,07, 10, 12:20PM PDT
Do you have a drinking problem? Do you believe your crappy childhood exempts you from having to be nice to other people? Is "enraged" the only
emotion you are capable of feeling? Do you make twice as much as me, yet still need to borrow money a week after you et paid? If so, I am the lady
for you! I'm a queer femme who enjoys being yelled at, ignored and told what is best for me. I'm short, thin (maybe that will trigger your teenage
eating disorder issues! Feel free to blame me!) and smart ( unless you find that threatening! In which case I am not as smart as you!). I do have
clinical depression, which I manage with medication and, ideally, a steady supply of judgment from you. I'm looking to continue along my current
dating path with someone who is immature, unpleasant and bad at listening. Bonus points if you:
,fetishize my mixed,race background, use it to impress your liberal white friends and know exactly what"my people" are doing wrong
,make "ironic" racist jokes
,have no friends of your own, preferring to use me for all of your emotional needs (if you must have your own friends, I would rather you use
them to cheat on me and/or commiserate about what a terrible girlfriend I am)
,hate fat people (although I am not fat mysel£ I love it when people rip on my friends and expect me to agree because of my genetics)
,understand that being an asshole and apologizing for it later is exactly the same as not being an asshole in the first place
,use "non,normatively gendered" as a synonym for "teeming with internalized misogyny"
Hopefully we can build a lasting relationship and maybe move in together so that you can decorate the apartment with old beer cans filled with
cigarette butts and containers of half,eaten takeout food covered in fruit flies. Don't worry, I'll clean up after you. I'd prefer if you are white and
middle,class so you can lord it over me all the time. Physical age unimportant as long as you are emotionally 9 years old. Your pie gets mine!!!
January/February
2009
I 23
Advice
LBD Blues
Spring Cleaning, Anyone?
Dear Fairy Butch: What are your thoughts
on our subcultural standby, Lesbian Bed
Death? Any ideas on how to deal with it?
- Wistful in Washington
DearWistful:Yes, my dear, though there are scads of lesbian couples who keep the embers burning long into their second, third
and, yes, fourth decades together, this theme does seem to be a
recurring one. Here are a few tips, which may be of use in your
efforts to jump-start the nether regions of your relationship.
1) A word to those folks who haven't yet found l'amour: Pick
a gal who really flips your blintzes in the first place-one with
whom you have a real, durable sexual rapport. While it's wonderful to have our abstinence relieved after a drought, and it's often
exciting to sleep with someone new, there is a difference between
sexual novelty and real, solid sexual chemistry.
2) Once you're in the mix, work some separation into your
pairing-try setting up a regular weekly solo evening with friends,
or take an evening course or workshop by yourself If you live
together, make sure that you are able to maintain some privacy
within your home. Part ways when getting ready for a hot night
on the town with each other; a wee retreat in the water closet goes
a long way to making your eventual time together more special.
3) Try something brand new in the boudoir: Pack for a date
with your lover, whether it's the traditional bundle or some spicy
new lingerie. Buy an erotic video, or write up instructions that
lead her to a fancy hotel in the middle of the week. Try hiring a
limousine to traverse your city's byways and do the deed in the
backseat, or have a violinist serenade the two of you during a
catered dinner chez toi.
4) If LBD has truly taken hold and you are determined to
vanquish it, make a dramatic change in the pattern of your relationship; take a romantic, fun-filled vacation in a sumptuous new
locale. Exciting new surroundings can loosen up boundaries and
old inhibitions and get a sexless relationship out of its rut.
5) Don't allow our culture to enter your boudoir if all is
actually well with yours. Sexuality in general is often evaluated
in terms that best reflect the needs of men; for example, frequency is often privileged over duration. If, in honestly evaluating your relationship and your happiness therein, you find
that you are actually satisfied, I say frequency stats and friends'
opinions be damned.
6) On the other hand, if one or both of you are genuinely
unhappy with the state of affairs (or the lack thereof) and tips No.
2 through No. 4 have failed, more serious action should be taken.
Consider seeing a couples counselor, sex therapist or other sexual
problem solver, Tulip, and be prepared to
Fairy Butch is the author of The Ultimate Guide to
Strap-On Sex: A Complete Resource for Women
and Men. Email Jb@Jairybutch.com with your queries.
24 I curve
Tht
Ult
lu1d1
to
ltrtp•On
I'm dating this girl who's flat-out gorgeous.
She's really, really hot, with a truly perfect
ass. We hooked up after discovering our girlfriends were cheating on us with each other
• and decided to start dating to help ease the
pain. (I hear they call that a "grudge fuck:')
She's completely free-spirited, laughs a lot
and has adorable dimples. She wears tie-dye
and is a little fashion-challenged, but I can
overlook it because the sex is incredible.
So, I wind up driving to her place
vegseveral times a week for dinner-great
followed
wine,
and
candles
with
food
etarian
by some mind-blowing bedroom encounters.
I really like her, but the more we hang out,
the more obvious it becomes that we are two
very different birds. She had an astrologist
read my chart and hosts all-day spiritual
gatherings at her house where no one talks for the entire 12 hours. I can't not
talk for two minutes. She pays lots of money for raw food, and I pay very little
money for fast food. She drinks raw milk out of a coconut. I drink beer. She
doesn't believe in tampons. I worship them.
We have been able to work through our differences with passionate arguments, er, discussions, and I've actually learned to like coconut milk and raw
food. I sometimes even wear tie-dye ( though I adamantly refuse to give up
tampons). I am thinking it could possibly work out-and so is she-as long
as I try a colonic.
"A what?" I ask. "Colon hydrotherapy;' she says, "is all the rage:' In fact, she
is a colon hydrotherapist. OK, so I have heard about colonies, I admit, and I
know a lot of hippie types get 'em-but they're not for me. She swears that
just one will change my life and insists that I try it before forming an opinion.
Before I can argue, er, discuss it with her, she has scheduled me in for a ses-
z<(
·2
0
0
0
Q.
sion the next day.
Tipping the Scales
I hatescales.Thosetiny little metalmodulesthat seemto do nothingbut mock
me with whetheror notthat boxof Ho-Hoswas a goodidealast night.SinceI'm
OKwith my 20 extrapounds,I hadn'thada scalein years,until I founda hi-tech
lronman-stylegadgetcalledthe TanitaBC-533lnnerScan
BodyCompositionMonitor.
Hokeyor not,this little contraptionmakes
mefeel like DaraTorreswhenI'm on it. First,
usinga bioelectricalimpedanceanalysis
(BIA)it candistinguishthe differencebetweenpoundsof fat andmuscle.Basically,
youenteryourheightandweight,then,
as youstandon little electrodefoot pads,
Life Advice
I'm nervous all night and can barely force
down breakfast in the morning. When I get
there, she is grinning ear to ear. She is thrilled
and swears again that it will change my life. I'm
not so sure, but I put on the large diapers with
the opening in the back and lie on the table as
instructed, knees up. She puts on rubber gloves
and soft music. There are posters on the wall
and the ceiling-some are diagrams of the co~
lon, others provide illuminating methods for
relaxation. I try them as she inserts a plastic
tube in my anus. Weird. Then water rushes in,
definitely a strange sensation when you're used
to things moving in the opposite direction. As
instructed, I wait until it feels like I have to "go;'
and then she reverses the process, letting the
water, and anything else, drain out. It all runs
through the tube and then through this machine
with a little window. She says something about
seeing last night's salad, but I don't want to look.
When my colon is finally empty of water and
any other extra waste, she removes the tube and
I am allowed to get up and use the restroom.
I am relieved to get my clothes on and dump
2
'{
the diapers in a sterile steel bin (puns very much
g intended). She hugs me ecstatically and wants to
\2.
know how I feel. I think I've lost a pound and I
.Ir
. .LJ
>- feel OK ... but it hasn't changed my life. In fact,
I
. ..J
I think I'd rather let my colon do its job unas~
IIJ
I::
sisted, which, I have read, it does perfectly well
without the plastic tubes. I'll never do another
colonic, and in the end we break up, but hey, at
least I've tried it. [JENNIFER
CORDAY]
Most dykes would
prefer not to work
for The Man, but
jumping off into
the terrifying world
of Top Ramen and
tax write-offs (read:
self-employment)
is intimidating.
Whether you want to go ahead fullthrottle and start your own business, or
just make your work-from-home days
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Inspiring and informative, these books
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or improving the
one you have.
[CATHERINE
PLATO]
January/February
2009
I 25
Dyke Drama
I
Michele Fisher
Should You Forgive Her Infidelity:
What to do when you catch your girlfriend with her pants down.
Your girl and your neighbor, a massage therapist, are going at it on the
new tuck-and-roll pleather couch you two just picked-up at TJ Maxx last
month on your anniversary. How could she? And why didn't they put
down a sheet, so you could take the couch with you in the divorce settlement? Now it's all coated with slut DNA, yuck.
Infidelity in dykeland is rarely exposed in such a sudden and dramatic fashion. In real lesbian life, the discovery is usually slow, predictable and painful. It goes something like this: Your lady has been acting
strange for several weeks ( or months,
depending on how long you two have
been together). She is remote, brooding and secretive. When she does talk,
it is about what you do wrong and
why she is unhappy. She wants more
space and more time to do things on
her own. No matter how much space
you give her or how many of her
demands you give in to, her mood
does not improve. She doesn't want
to be defined by her relationship with
you anymore. She has mentioned this
other woman a lot lately. In fact, the
only time she seems happy is when she
is talking to or about this other person.
You have a sick feeling in your stomach
that never goes away. You have been
trying to ignore the signs for a while.
One day you can't take it anymore, so
you ask her if she is having an affair.
If your girl is already deep into a
relationship with the other womanthat is, they have already picked out a wedding date, they just need to
convince you to give the bride away-she might cave in and confess.
But you usually have to work a lot harder for that bit of bad news. You
must earn that heartbreak by crying alone for hours, getting into fruitless
confrontations with her and engaging in unproductive begging. Not to
mention confirming your suspicions daily with friends and relatives until
they start screening their calls.
After all, your lover needs time to figure out whether she is really
in love with this other woman or just wants to be away from you. And
you keep distracting her with your pesky need for the truth. The cheater
doesn't want to tell you anything because she wants you on reserve, just
in case she is making a mistake. And you don't push too hard because you
don't want her to go. This stage lasts anywhere from a week to a decade.
In the end, she will leave.
Which leads me to my point: If you have a cheating lesbian on your
hands, get rid of her!
Forgive her? No. I say unload her.
So, what if your girl is the one dyke in the world who really did just
26 I curve
make a mistake and is sincere about wanting to get back into your good
graces?
Forgiveness is like swing dancing: It is hard work and more people
think they can do it than actually can.
Step one is to decide if forgiveness is something you really want to
do. After several painful months that end in nothing but more pain,
most women realize that forgiveness plays a small and insignificant role
in the post-cheat drama. The fear of being alone often disguises itself as
absolution.
I am not the Dyky Lama, so
I am not the best person to ask
about finding your way back to
nirvana with a two-timing partner.
Everything may happen for a reason, but you won't find me hanging
around in the Downward Facing
Dog position trying to figure out
why I am with a louse. If you have
it in you to incorporate infidelity
into your life plan, then you are a
far better dyke than I am.
Forgiveness means that you
have to stop thinking about what
the two of them looked like having sex together. That film will
play over and over in your head
and no amount of gin or sudoku
will be able to stop your mental
projector. Even if you think you've
gotten over it, you haven't. You will
be talking to her about the grocery
list and one of those horrific scenes will pop into your head and you will
instantly become angry with her. She will explain that it isn't that important to have the whole wheat dinner rolls, but you won't be able to stop
yelling about what an inconsiderate shopper she is.
Even if you do manage to compartmentalize her indiscretions and
move on, your friends will not allow it. You are going to have to explain to
them that you are OK, and you'll spend way too much time sticking up
for your cheating girlfriend. You will eventually have to accept the fact that
even if you forgive her, they never will, and they certainly won't allow you
to forget about it.
The worst part about forgiveness is having it rejected. What if she
makes firewood out of your olive branch? Overlooking her transgressions
in the hope of reconciliation is not forgiveness; it is foolishness.
Did you hear her say that she is never going to cheat again and wants
to be with you forever? Or did you hear a bunch of bullcrap about her
being confused and needing time to sort it out? And don't let a few tears
convince you that her dastardly ways are behind her. She could still be
plotting her next act of treason while she is leaking from the eyes. She ain't
crying because she wants you back-she is crying because she got caught.
And she is crying so she won't look like the creep she is to the rest of the
lesbian world. What you think of her is not nearly as important as what
her next five wives will think of her. Hell yeah, there are a lot of dykes in
Hollywood. There is no shortage of talented actresses in our community.
I remember one of my own episodes of dyke drama with a cheater who
told me that she would try to forgive me! She went on to explain that I had
created an environment where cheating was her only option. She assured
me that she was doing her best.
Luckily, my self-esteem was alteady at an all-time low, so I couldn't
really sink any further.
But your two-timing woman is different. She is sorry and she does
want to stay together and she isn't just acting the part to get away with
another crime of passion.
If you just know that she is sincere and think you have the stomach and the energy for the relationship to continue, then you are going
to have to set some new boundaries and guard them like a breakaway
Soviet republic.
Women who have made a "mistake'' know that there is no such thing
as privacy for a long time. They will not need alone time, or extra screen
names with secret passwords. One-time cheaters who want to be forgiven
don't erase text messages or call logs. Women who want to save their marriage don't need to have private conversations with the women they have
slept with behind your back. This one really kills me. The number of doormat dykes who allow their cheating wives to "meet" with their mistresses
to "explain'' things to them ought to be zero. Funny, the tramp didn't make
time for your wife to explain anything to you while they were rolling
around behind your back? Are you, the victim, supposed to feel sorry for
the poor woman who slept with your girlfriend? The fact that you let her
walk the earth with a full head of hair should be consolation enough.
The gal who made a stupid mistake and will do anything to make it
right knows that her life will be an open book for years to come. She will
not be trusted to so much as pee on her own for generations. And she
won't complain about it either.
Like I said before, forgiveness is hard work ... for both parties.
Maybe it is best to forget about forgiveness and move on to vengeance.
Maybe have a little fling of your own. But in my experience, retaliation
sex is only slightly better than rebound sex and not worth forfeiting your
position of righteous indignation over.
Chucking a two-timing girlfriend right after you discover her misdeed
really is for the best. We lesbians don't do well with infidelity. I don't
know why it is such a big deal to us-it just is. I couldn't tell you why
just
women sleep with other women to get out of relationships-they
do. Should you need more encouragement to make the break, remember
that the sooner you get rid of her as a lover, the sooner you can have her
for a best friend.
Pacific Reproductive Services
1e n
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ert
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When we were founded in 1984, one of our
guiding missions as a lesbian-owned sperm
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lesbians had access to a caring, professional
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We Ship Anywhere in the U.S.
't
January/February
2009
I 27
Politics
VictoriaA. Brownworth
Is Lesbian Bed Death Real:
Getting to the bottom of the lesbian libido question.
Why don't lesbians have more sex?
I blame nesting. It goes beyond the old joke about what a lesbian brings
to a second date (a U, Haul). Nesting is about comfort over desire, affection,
over passion, cuddling over fucking.
Don't get me wrong-there's much to be said for comfort, affection and
cuddling. But do those things need to preclude desire, passion and sex?
Can't they be concomitant with the fires of sexuality?
In a recent, totally unobjective survey of my closest lesbian friends, some
of whom are in long,term relationships and some of whom are single, I dis,
covered that none were having sex. None. All I can say is, "Why not?"
A few years ago I had a conversation with a lesbian acquaintance who
had separated from her long,term partner. She was avidly searching for a
new relationship, yet was clearly not ready to be in one. I asked her why she
was so gung,ho on getting recoupled when she hadn't spent time grieving
for the loss of the old relationship.
Her answer was sex.
I suggested masturbation. She was appalled. I reminded her that she
was self sufficient in every other way-why not be self sufficient sexually?
She told me she had never masturbated.
Now I'm wondering, if women can't have sex with themselves, is it sur,
prising they aren't having sex with each other?
Sex surveys done by several women's magazines show that many women
don't have orgasms when they have sex. A surprisingly large number find
sex unpleasant, citing a lack of sufficient
foreplay, a lack of affection and romance,
an inability to achieve orgasm through
traditional intercourse and general feelings
and emotionalof discomfort-physical
as reasons. Of course, these magazines
have an obvious heterosexual bias, but is it
really different for lesbians?
Although what excites a woman tends
to be different from what excites a man,
women are more likely to be anorgasmicmen. In
unable to achieve orgasm-than
addition, women tend to reach their sexual
peak much later in life than men, hence the
cougar,cub syndrome that has become so
prevalent in recent years among hetero,
sexual women.
So, if women actually have just as much
sex drive as men and, unlike men, maintain
their sexual activity level much longer, why
all the lesbian bed death?
"I just don't really have the time for it;'
one of my single friends told me. "I used to
really like sex, but now that I'm single, I am
more focused on my work and my friend,
ships, and I find that really satisfying. I
28 I curve
don't miss sex. I really don't:'
Another friend in a relationship for close to 15 years said her partner
just "isn't interested" and that the two haven't had sex for more than seven
years. She would like to have sex again, but doesn't want to go outside the
relationship. "I would never cheat on (my partner) just for sex:•
Why isn't sex more important to lesbians? We certainly talk a good
game, but it seems that once the relationship starts, sex ends.
In their as,yet,unreplicated study, American Couples:Money, Work, Sex,
Dr. Pepper Schwartz and Philip Blumstein did research on straight and
same,sex couples. Lesbians had less sex than any of the other couples-gay
men or heterosexuals. Schwartz, who has written extensively on sexuality,
used the term "lesbian bed death:' The phrase, which was also used by les,
bian sex expert and author JoAnne Loulan, quickly caught on as shorthand
for the slackening off of the libidos of lesbian couples.
Schwartz and Blumstein's study echoed that of queer researchers Dr.
Karla Jay and Allen Young in The Gay Report:Lesbiansand Gay Men Speak
Out About Sexual Experiencesand Lifestyles.Jay and Young found that lesbi,
ans were far less likely to be sexually satisfied in their relationships than gay
men were. Both studies found the news on lesbian sex was not good. Less
than one,third of lesbians in relationships for over two years had sex once
a week or more, while almost half of lesbians in long,term relationships
had sex once a month or less. Meanwhile, two,thirds of married hetero,
sexual couples had sex once a week or more and only 15 percent of straight
couples in long,term relationships had sex
once a month or less. Gay men had sex
more than anyone.
In Schwartz and Blumstein's follow,up
study, lesbian couples were also the most
likely to break up and the most likely to
break up due to sex-or the lack thereo£
A Swedish study published in May
2006 determined that lesbians respond
differently to sexual pheromone stimuli
than heterosexual women do, but not
the same way that heterosexual men do.
The study suggests that sexual stimulus
response is genetically based.
Could pheromone response be the rea,
son for a diminished interest in sex? Or is
there another rationale for the diminished
sexual activity in lesbians?
Some feminist theorists posit that
women have sex less than men overall because they are more repressed about
sexuality than men. Women are less likely
to have orgasms, less likely to initiate sex,
less likely to try new sexual positions, less :>
J
likely to try new sexual acts, less likely to
complain about unsatisfactory sex and less
I
IN THE NEWS
likely to express their sexual needs and desires.
That does sound like repression.
In addition, women are also more likely to
have been victims of sexual abuse. One in three
women will be raped in her lifetime and one in
four was a victim of sexual abuse as a child. Put
two women together in bed and the likelihood
that one of them has been a victim of some kind
of sexual assault is pretty high.
Then there's plain old ordinary sexism, in
which women are reduced to the sum of their
genitalia on an almost daily basis and are made
to feel uncomfortable in their own bodies. The
majority of women say they are dissatisfied with
their bodies and with their looks.
How much does all of this impact sexual
repression and expression:' It's impossible to
quantify these variables, but what can be quanti,
fied is that lesbians are unlikely to force sex on an
unwilling partner. Thus, when lesbians aren't get,
ting their sexual needs met, they look elsewhere.
Sex, however, is a physical and emotional
need we all have. It should be satisfied. If you
aren't getting your sexual needs met, find out
why. Talk to your partner or your therapist or
doctor about why sex isn't in your life. If you
liked it before, chances are you still do-but oth,
er issues may have gotten in the way. Women cite
everything from unwashed dishes to children to
simply being tired as reasons they avoid sex. And
sex therapists note that when women get out of
the habit of having sex, it is difficult for them to
f resume sexual intimacy.
0
Intimacy is the bedrock (no pun intended)
5
of romantic relationships. What separates our
lovers from our friends is sexual intimacy. If you
I and your partner are not having sex, something
is wrong, whether you have a good rationale for
J
it or not. Women who live together and don't
have sex are roommates, not lovers.
Sex is good and good for you. We live lon,
ger lives when we have orgasms regularly and
when we have sexual intimacy-with or without
orgasm. And unlike most men, most women can
have sex with no problem well into their 90s. But
why wait until then, when you can do it now:'
From Our Archives
Anti-GayMarriageBallot
Initiatives
Passed
Arizona,California
andFlorida
passedamendments
last
November
banninggaymarriage.
Theseamendments
alteredthe
states'constitutions
to recognize
marriageas
betweena mananda womanonly.Thisbrings
thetotalnumberof statesthathaveapproved
banson gaymarriageupto 30.TheCalifornia
amendment,
Proposition
8, maycall intoquestion
theapproximately
18,000same-sexmarriages
performed
sincea StateSupremeCourtruling
in May2008beganallowingthem.Numerous
protestsin California
andotherstatesfollowedthe
Prop8 passage,
markingwhatsomeactivistssay
maybea returnto civilaction(likethe 1980sand
'90sprotestsbyACTUPandQueerNation).
BisexuaWomanElectedas Secretary
of State
In November,
KateBrownbecamethefirst queer
Secretary
of Statein Oregon,
makingherthe
highestrankedLGBTelectedofficialin the United
States.Brownwasoneof dozensof electedLGBT
candidates
whowereendorsed
bytheGayand
Lesbian
VictoryFund,a groupworkingto increase
the numberof LGBTelectedofficials.Over70
percentof the 111LGBTcandidates
thegroupendorsedwereelectedto publicofficein November.
oreSame-S Marriages
UnderAttack
InJune2008,Massachusetts
lifteda banon
same-sex
marriages
for out-of-statecouples.
The
decisionis beingchallenged,
andopponents
are
organizing
a 2010ballotmeasure
to reinstatethe
ban.Thechallenge
is leadby MassResistance
a ,
Catholic,
anti-gayorganization
claimingto be"pro
family,"butwhichcriticsallegeis devotedentirely
to restrictinggayrights.
Chambeof Commerce
Formsin SanAntonio
AnLGBTChamber
of Commerce
hasbeen
foundedin SanAntonio,
Texas.
ThenewChamber
of Commerce
aimsto achieve
a positiveimagefor the local
.... queercommunity,
advocate
for
gayequality,fostera senseof belongingandbea resource
to help
community
membersmakeinformeddecisions
aboutwheretheydecideto spendtheirmoney.
[RACHEL
LASTRA
ANDARISAWHITE]
Curve was onto MSNBC anchor Rachel Maddow long before
she was trouncing Larry King's ratings and interviewing presidential hopefuls. Here's what she told us, back in 1994, about
being the first out Rhodes Scholar when she was only 21: "I
couldn't have made a case for myself if I had been closeted. So
much of my political involvement is tied up in me being a big
dyke." Read that article, as well an our exclusive new interview
with our favorite pundit at curvemag.com.
January/February
2009
I 29
Sisterhoodon the
Whether you're on the bunny slopes
or the black diamonds, Utah is the
place to be. By Kristin A. Smith
untain
SKIRESORT
ALTA
This ski-only resort offers the greatest variety of women-only
sounds more like a
OffTrailFunshop
workshops. The Goddess
sex shop than a ski clinic, but we're pretty sure it's the latter.
It's designed to satisfy the intermediate to advanced skier's
desire to get off the groomed slopes. Touted as a "sisterhood
of the mountain;' they'll show you secret off-trail spots and
teach you the techniques to master them. If you're tough
RESORT
THECANYONS
On the extravagant end of the vacation spectrum is the SnoDaisy enough for the backcountry, there's no better group of girls to
show it to you. This year's clinic is March 2-3.
Camp,hosted at the Canyons Resort. Lizzie Dowd,
Snowboard
LadiesDay,held six Thursday mornings in a row, is aimed
public relations director for the Canyons, describes it as a"luxe
at creating a community of "like-minded" (read: snowcamp for advanced beginner to intermediate snowboarders:'
obsessed) women. Each day features a new discussion topic
This is one of those all-inclusive, apres ride (fancy term for
or workshop and builds on the last. If making friends is more
activities after skiing) camps-and includes accommodations
important than developing your skills, try the Tuesday mornat the Grand Summit Hotel, a champagne reception, a spa
ing Ski Withthe Girls.It's free, there's coffee and you get to
treatment, sleigh rides and a chauffeur service to and from the
meet some local skiers. This year's dates are Jan. 8-Feb. 12.
airport. They also provide you with a free snowboard, bindAlta's yearly Women'sSki Camp is the tried-and-true
ings and boots to take home. If you're a high-fashion glam girl,
women's ski vacation-not too frilly, yet all-inclusive-three
this is a glass slipper that should fit. Camps run throughout
days of skiing, four nights' lodging, lift tickets, ski clinics and a
January, February and March.
Ski bunnies can also get into HollyFlandersThree-Day nightly four-course meal. This year's camp is held Jan. 22-26.
hosted by the world champion skier and
Workshops,
Women's
RESORT
SKIANDSUMMER
SNOWBIRD
former Olympian at the Canyons. The goal of these programs
This four-day Women'sSki Campis designed for the interis to "enable women to improve their skiing in an atmosphere
mediate skier and focuses on small groups and one-on-one
of support and friendship:' Designed for intermediate skiers,
coaching. The camp stresses "a supportive peer environment"
this workshop is taught by Flanders and other world-class
and listening "to your body, mind and spirit;' so if the yogic
female skiers. If you really want to hone your skills and learn
approach is what gets you down the black diamond, this is
from the best, this is the place to go. This year's dates are Jan.
your camp. With its menu of add-ons, including spa access,
9-11, Feb. 6-8, and March 6-8.
telemark lessons and snowshoeing, you can pick and choose
and
the vacation you want. This year's camps runJan.18-22
RESORT
VALLEY
DEER
program at
March 15-19.
For Utah residents, the Womenon Wednesdays
Camphas pickSnowboard
Snowbird's three-day Women's
Deer Valley is your best bet. Hosting small groups, Deer
the hill-steep
mastering
on
clientele.
its
to
focuses
and
catering
for
options
reputation
and-choose
its
to
up
Valley lives
trees. But
heavy
and
one
is
powder
Valley
thick
Deer
chutes,
magazine,
challenging
Ski
by
grades,
Rated the No. 1 resort
to your
home
everything
at
gear
board
your
instructors
leave
the
So
off;
don't be scared
of Utah's few ski-only resorts.
and
2-5
Jan.
held
are
consecutive
five
sessions
runs
The
class
level.
This
individual ability
and try out the two planks.
March
areJan.14-Feb.11.
Wednesdays. This year's dates
The young girls in matching pastel onesies and the sleek
women racers in spandex are taking to the hills around Salt
Lake City and Park City, Utah. There is a growing number
of women's ski and snowboard camps in the area, so whether
you're looking for a single lesson or prefer a full ski vacation,
there's a resort in Utah just for you.
Gettingthe
Most out of
Midsumma
Pride. Most of us have it, many of us enjoy it and there are
plenty of ways to celebrate it. In Australia, Sydney has Mardi
Gras, Daylesford has ChillOut and Melbourne,Victoria's capital city, has Midsum a, which has been running for 20 years.
Held for three weeks in January and February, during the
Australian summer, idsumma is so long there's time enough
to have a horrible break-up with your girlfriend in the first
week, for her to move out, for you to go to a number of events
to try to get over her and for the two of you to get back together in time to go to the Pride march.
With over 175 events going on during the festival, it's easy
to find something (or someone) to tickle your fancy. These
events include dog shows, underage dance parties, cooking
classes for the children of rainbow families, cruises on the bay
and art and history exhibits. If your fancy still isn't tickled,
then there are also burlesque performances, tennis lessons,
an outdoor cinema, mini-golf and karaoke (as much as my
ears may regret chat last entertainment option). Almost half
the events are either lesbian-oriented or lesbian-friendly. My
favorites were an improvised play and an art exhibit. Granted,
neither of these sound as exciting as a dog show for drag kings
and their pets or a cruise on the Yarra River with complimentary ice cream, but upon closer inspection Your Life as a Dyke
and the works of Mel Simpson proved far more entertaining
and provocative than you might chink.
Your Life as a Dyke wasn't your average play. A couple of
years ago, Nik Willmott and Rachel Forgasz put on a play called
My Life as a Dyke, which, unsurprisingly, told stories of their
experiences. They found chat their performances always evoked
stories from the audience, so they decided to turn it around and
tell the audience's stories from the stage. Each night's performance started off with a discussion with the audience-about
their first dates, their first Midsumma or even what they were
wearing chat evening . Then, Willmott and Forgasz sent everyone out to have dinner and asked chem to come back in an hour
to dramatize their already dramatic stories.
It's a risky stunt for the performers to pull off, something
Willmott understands very well. "There is a danger in doing
improvised scuff, particularly comedy, because you're asking
audience members co come down on stage. These people are
going to freeze on stage, or be fabulous or they're going to try
to take over the scene, and you know you're opening yourself
up to any possibility:' Nevertheless, Willmott says, it was fun
and challenging.
Simpson chooses a much less daunting form of expression.
Her paintings explore notions of gender, sexuality and womanliness. As stereotypical as that might sound, her paintings
still have a tendency to fill the viewer with childish glee. "My
art is solely about women: the relationships we have with one
another, our history. It can be (confrontational], but somehow
it's not offensive. It's feminine with masculine elements;' said
Simpson of her work. "I get my inspiration from stories and
images from the past, primarily predating the 1960s, particularly the period during the Second World War. I've always
been fascinated with American culture and I'm sure that has a
strong influence on my work. However, I've been interested in
tattoo culture recently:' Simpson's pop art, comic book-style
paintings depict explorers, policewomen, gridiron players and
women shaving their faces and getting tattoos. Some of her
characters spark comparisons to similar women in pop culture, like Thirteen from House.
It's easy to forget that there are still questioning baby dykes
in the world. Luckily, Midsumma has an answer for that as
well. Minus 18 is an organization especially for underage samesex-attracted people. Among other events, it holds drug- and
alcohol-free dance parties during Midsumma and school holidays. Claudia Stapledon, a member of the planning committee
for Minus 18, says, "Places like Minus are important because
youth start questioning quite early on and it can be confusing. They just want to get out there and explore these feelings
and meet other people who might be questioning, so they can
connect with them and sort themselves out a bit. There's a lot
of overage support out there, but chat's not really appropriate
for underage youth to be involved in:' Minus 18 sponsors a
number of events, including a chill-out zone at Carnival ( the
opening festivities), a junior version ofT-Dance, the Carnival's
after party, and group participation at Pride March.
Last year's Midsumma had all chat. Who knows what treats
Midsumma has in store for us this year? Willmott says,"We've
had chis long-running fantasy of doing a lesbian musical, which
we'd love to do. But it's a huge project and whether or not we
get around to it next year, hmm ... " I'll save you the obligatory
Cats pun, but here's hoping it happens. See you there.
How they do
it with Pride
down under.
By Alice
Clarke
32
Icurve
Cllll/sLilt
the first time I watched Showtime's hit drama
The L Word. It was exciting, sexy and-most of
all-familiar.
I was instantly hooked because,
foxy ladies aside, it was the first time a television
series had actually reflected my life, my friends
and my experiences (OK, it was a much flashier
and more alluring version of all that, like a lezzie
funhouse mirror that turns your flannel into
Chanel). For five seasons, I've watched these
characters' lives unfold, tuning in to see them
change and grow, fight and make up and, in
Shane's case, embark on a campaign of total
female heart annihilation. This month, Showtime
will begin to air the series' sixth and final chapter.
What better time to reflect on how The L Word
has changed the lesbian lexicon-and who better
to ask than the ladies who bring the stories to
life each week? We spoke with Jennifer Beals,
Laurel Holloman, Katherine Moennig and Rachel
Shelley-or, as they are known to fans, Bette,
Tina, Shane and Helena, respectively-about
what it was like to work on the iconic show, what
we can expect from season six and what's next
for them. Oh, and whether fans can hope for
an L Word movie.
By Rachel Shatto
Photos by Don Flood & Paul Michaud/Showtime
January/February 2009
I33
Before the show premiered in 2004, lesbian characters in leading roles on television were scarce. When it first aired, The L
Word was a revelation, with its depiction of a group of friends
who were glamorous, beautiful, successful and gay.
"It [took] away the whole perception that everyone has to
have flannel shirts on and jeans and boots ... we [portrayed] a
lot of different types of characters;' recalls Laurel Holloman,
the woman who brought Tina to life and became TiBette
(so named for her on-screen partnership with Jennifer Beals'
Bette). "I think it changed a lot of people's perceptions:'
More importantly, the popularity of The L Word meant
greater visibility for the lesbian community.
"Between all of the viewings people had in their homes,
and conversations that went online, to the creation of
OurChart ... I think it's been truly instrumental in creating community, and in creating pride and representation;'
adds Beals.
And at a time when the validity of lesbian relationships
is being called into question in state courts, co-star Rachel
Shelley underscores the importance of Bette and Tina's
relationship, especially because the characters are so easy to
relate to. "Most people see [them] as a couple who are just
like any other couple with problems," she says. "It's always the
way that any kind of bigotry or prejudice has been broken
down, by changing the stereotype and informing people of
a reality:'
Beals agrees. "It's about familiarity, and I think the only
reason they're uncomfortable with the notion of same-sex
marriages is because they haven't come into contact with
gay and lesbian couples enough to understand that it's about
love-and that it is a civil right;' says Beals.
34
I curve
But with the show ending this year, the question remains:
How lasting will the effects of The L Word be:'
"I think the truth will come when it's off the air;' says
Beals. For her, the impetus rests with the storytellers. 'Tm
hoping it has changed writers who are willing to write these
stories ... [and] empower other people to tell their stories and
know that there will be people who will listen:'
What story would Beals like to see, post-L Word:'"! would
love to see a sitcom with two married lesbians and their
adventures with their children and their straight, Republican
next-door neighbors. I think it would be fun ... in a Three's
Company kind of way:'
The end of the acclaimed series will also be the end of
a personal journey for the actors. Before working on The L
Word, Beals says she "didn't really see the gay community
that much, in terms of issues. I didn't think about same-sex
marriage. I didn't really know who Matthew Shephard was.
I'd heard the story, but it really didn't sink in, really what it
meant ... the extent to which hate is codified within the culture. It's not until having worked on the show that I realized
that there are so many things to get done:'
For Holloman, the openly bisexual castmate who was
already popular for her lesbian role in the film The
Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love, working
on the set was eye-opening. "I thought I knew a lot about
this community of women [but] I didn't know that much
at all. I have learned so much from the different writers
and directors that came in. For me, it was just a whole new
learning experience. It was important to kind of say, 'Wait,
there is so much for me to learn about the dynamics of
these relationships:"
1
For some of the cast, it's hard to say goodbye to their char~
acter. Beals describes some of the perks of being Bette:"There
are times when I'm in an argument with somebody that I
really wish [Bette] would just pop up and argue for me. I real~
ly, really do. It's like, 'Where is she? Come back!' Instead of me
going, 'Uh, um, ee, oo: I'll miss, certainly, her articulatenessand her wardrobe:'
For others, it may be easier to bid their alter egos adieu.
"I think it's possibly time that I shed that skin ... you can't go
on being the same thing forever;' said Moennig. "I personally
wouldn't feel satisfied doing that for the rest of my life. It's
time to shed that one; appreciate it, own it, but to shed it:'
Not a surprising perspective from Moennig, who was only
24 when she shot to fame on the series. "I really think I came
into my own on this show, just because going through your
20s is such a heavy decade:'
But that doesn't mean the final hurrah will be simple. Like
the audience that's awaiting this sixth and final season, the
cast feels both excitement and sadness.
"I felt like we had accomplished so much. I think that if we
hadn't so thoroughly told so many stories that I would have
been sad and I would have been disappointed. But because we
covered so much ground ... ! just felt tremendously proud and
elated;' says Beals.
"It's sad to let go of six years of your life. But everything
has to come to an end eventually. And now I think is as good
a time as any to move on;' says Moennig.
For Holloman, the hardest part is leaving behind the cast
and crew."I felt really sad .. .like I was just leaving a core group
of people who had become family to me, at least six months
out of every year:'
Despite their conflicted feelings about the series coming to
an end, all the ladies are satisfied with the conclusion. "I feel
like you leave Helena, on a personal level, in a good place, with
some things resolved and a future ahead of her ... which is how
you want to leave a character;' says Shelley.
'Tm really happy with it. I think my character ended up
in this really, really great place;' says Holloman. Perhaps of all
the characters, Holloman's was able to play the greatest range.
Was she always happy with the storyline?
"Every once in a while I think there were these really magi~
cal storylines ... I would really connect with, and I would like
to have seen them go on a little more.
"To be completely honest, there were some episodes, and
I am sure the audience wouldn't want to hear this, but as an
artist I look and I'm like, 'It would have maybe been better if
less people had their clothes off and not everyone was fucking
in that episode, and concentrated on the story a little more:
But God, I can say that now. I hope I don't get in trouble for
it, but I feel I wasn't the only one that felt that. And I love
January/February
2009
I35
that our show was sexy and I loved that it was about sex in
so many ways, but there were just some times where I think
if we had pulled back on certain things ... we could have won
awards, and I think that gets in the way. But, you know, fuck
American television for being so conservative. It was a complicated balance, let's put it that way:'
While the ladies were tight-lipped on spoilers, fans
already know there is a heightened focus on the core group
of women who began this journey together five seasons ago.
to be done. And I am really concerned about the vacuum that
is now on series television in terms of lesbian stories, gay and
lesbian stories, and I'm just praying that somebody comes up
with something good;' she says.
Both Shelley and Moennig are headed to the big screen
but in separate projects. Shelley's British film, The Children,
came out last month. "I play a mother whose kids are actually around;' Shelley says, laughing. "It's kind of a thriller that
turns into a bit of a horror:'
Moennig is in a film called Everybody's Fine, which will
come out this year. "We'll see how that goes;' she says. And
what else does she have planned? "It kind of just depends
what comes my way:'
Holloman, on the other hand, is just looking forward to
some down time with her family. "I have a 7-month-old at
home and my 4-year-old daughter. So I wouldn't mind just
sitting back until the new year:'
And, of course, there is always the not-so-secret untitled
spin-off, in which Leisha Hailey will reprise her role as Alice
Pieszecki. I asked the ladies if there was any chance of a visit
from familiar faces.
"Oh, who knows? I wouldn't say no;' says Shelley.
"You know, no one's asked me. But I'm sure Leisha will be
great;' says Beals. "She's so talented and just so wonderful to
watch, and a lovely person ... all blessings to her and I hope it
goes really well:'
With the Hollywood success of Sex and the City, fans of
The L Word can't help but wonder about the possibility of
'~c.Tlooe that
ou,• shou.J
tOOd'
,i'8{3/
an,</.._c.T/ooed thaL it toa,f
6ut the-1<eu,e-1yLLSL son1e fi,n
6ach on ce,<fain thut9d'... u.Je
hadpulle,I
u,heJ<e, .._<S_Tthi,1hc~u.Je
a6out
tS'ev in so- ,na'!Y
could-haoe
toq9,f,
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te/ei,is,10,rfo,< 6ei,19 80
'-"
fLJu,t,c!/ou h,1owifuch
conse,v,1afioe. "-_(:ua<el 9lollo'1Ulll
There's also a sense of fun and hilarity, something we saw
hints of last year.
"I think I laugh more in this season than I have in every
season combined. It was so nice;' says Beals.
Holloman, too, hints at the fun: "There's an amazing episode where there is lots of dancing:'
Perhaps it's Rachel Shelley's teasing that fills me with the
most anticipation. "I think it will be a great season. I think it
will be very controversial, right from the first episode. Very:'
"I just want to say, here and now: Make sure that you are
in your seat before the [opening] credits roll. Whatever you
think of the title song;' Shelley adds, laughing.
So what's next for the ladies of The L Word?
For Beals, acting will continue to support her gay rights
activism. "Because of the show, I'm in a position to use that
visibility to be helpful. But seeing the failure [to defeat]
Proposition 8, you know there is certainly a whole lot more
36
I
curve
seeing their favorite Sapphic starlets reunited for a feature
film treatment of the beloved series.
According to Moennig, there have been "grumblings"
on the subject. And it appears that the cast is amenable to
the prospect.
"I think there could be a great movie made about [The] L
Word;' says Shelley.
"That would be such a great reunion;' agrees Moennig.
"I would never turn my nose up at that. It would be too
much fun:'
Holloman also agrees. "I really would love to see us do a
movie. Sex and the City... did really well. We're a very different
type of show, but we are a strong show and a strong group of
women, and I think there is a market there. And I know that
[producer Ilene Chaiken] has more stories to tell:'
You can bet your collection of unfortunate knock-off Papi
hats that I'll be the first in line for those movie tickets.
Lesbian 101
Our handy starter guide for
queer girls everywhere.
[38]
The pioneer of lesbian pulp: A closeted housewife who put
our sordid little secrets into dimestore paperbacks.
[39]
The 10 most underrated lesbian books.
[40]
NPR commentator slash author Marc Acito
shows us some gay-boy love.
[41]
The seven deadly sins of coming out.
And the 10 albums every lesbian should own.
[42]
Ten films to rent when you come out.
[43]
How to stay friends with your ex:
An easy guide to post-breakup camaraderie.
Who the Heck Is Ann Bannon?
She created a community through her lesbian pulp fiction in the '50s
and she's still going strong today. By Cheryl Craig
A
NN BANNON sounded the cry that started a wild revo,
lution in lesbian literature. She was a closeted housewife
who addressed her own sexuality through her writing and
made us all feel alive and safe enough to step out of our homopho,
bia and buy pulp fiction in the '50s and '60s. Her books, the Beeho
Brinker Chronicles,have been turned into an offBroadway show
produced by Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner and there's talk of a
Hollywood deal on the horizon.
Whatis pulpfiction?
Pulp fiction is a cover term for a genre of writing that sprang up
just before World War II, and continued as a successful source of
popular fiction through the 1960s. The lesbian pulps were a sort
of subgenre that coexisted with these inexpensive, widely available
novels, many of which were cowboy stories, cops,and,robbers, ro,
mances, science fiction and detective tales. The lesbian pulps played
a significant role in reassuring and informing isolated women that
they were neither alone in the world nor freakish nor unlovable.
Howdidyougetyourfirstlesbiannovelpublished,
in 1957?
I had the great good luck to establish a sort of witty, teasing corre,
spondence with Vin Packer, author of SpringFire and other books
with lesbian themes. Her real name turned out to be Marijane
Meaker, and, unexpectedly and quite wonderfully, she invited me
to New York with the promise of introducing me to her editor at
Gold Medal Books, Dick Carroll. Dick Carroll read the manuscript
of what was to become Odd Girl Out. I can't say he was thrilled to
death with it, but he saw enough prom,
ise to send me home with editorial in,
structions on how to shorten it and tell
the story of the two sorority sisters, Beth
and Laura. The task took me a couple of
months, and then I carried the manu,
script back to the Gold Medal offices
in the fall of 1956. Dick read it imme,
diately and, to my astonishment, it was
in print by the spring of 1957. They had
not altered a single word. I was incred,
ibly lucky.
Howmanylesbian
pulpfictionwriters
werethere?
There were not that many of us-perhaps
a dozen or so who accounted for some
200 lesbian pulp novels, all told. There
were even some men in the field. Most
of the men who wrote lesbian pulps did
so strictly for money and, equally strictly,
to titillate male readers. But the women
authors were writing entirely differently, with a deep empathy for
the women who read their books and a mission to give them hope.
Is pulpfictionstillaroundtoday?
There is certainly still some popular fiction available in various for,
mats. But we have moved on to other options-the graphic novel,
TV anthologies, the webzines. The rare combination of factors
that made the pulps such a smash hit may never come again. Their
success depended on the fact that they could be cheaply mass,pro,
duced using the acid,riddled, pulp paper that gave them their name
and that they were distributed all across the country, like a virtual
blanket of books. They were a critical lifeline for women in their
day. But in the new millennium, women have found one another:
We are out there on the front lines together. We know each other
and how to make contact. The lesbian pulps are now a fascinating
historical footnote. They're still great fun to read and an insight into
our past. But-my best guess-we shall not see their like again.
TheBeeboBrinkerChronicles
werea seriesofsixbooksyou
wrotebetween1957and1962.TherewerenoLGBT
bookstores
backthen.Wheredidfansbuyyournovels?
The books could be purchased in drugstores, bus stations, airports,
newsstands, train terminals. There were thousands of them and
they were everywhere-everywhere,
that is, except respectable
bookstores. All you had to do was screw up your courage, walk into
the pharmacy, scoop up the books you were dying to read and stash
them between a copy of Ladies'Home Journal and a box of Kotex.
The approach to the cash register could be terrifying, but most
Beebo Brinker. An archetype, maybe-but
of looking for her.
I never get tired
Willyouraward-winning
off-Broadway
production
of The
BeeboBrinkerChronicles
beproduced
anywhere
else?
What'sthelatestonthemovierumor?
clerks sold so many lesbian pulps-to both men and women, by
the way-that they never gave you a second glance.
BeeboBrinkeris a butchlesbian.
Wasshebasedonsomeone
you
knewthen,or moreanarchetype
fromyourimagination?
Beebo is my dream girl, although in the years since I first invented
her, I've seen some stunning young women who could certainly
play the part. I knew I needed a girl with a strong presence, someone
who had an electric effect on people. In the years since, I've described
her as a sort of blend of Tarzan star Johnny Weissmuller and classic
beauty Ingrid Bergman. Meld those two into one fabulous female,
put a sword and buckler on her and you've got my gutsy young butch,
I've heard the rumor, too! But there's many a slip between
the proposal and the movie marquee. It may or may
not happen. The cast was superb, and when the
play was given its second production this spring
by Broadway producer Harriet Leve, our execu~
tive producers were Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner.
We could hardly have asked for more, but, in fact,
there was more: Beebowon the GLAAD Award
as the best play in New York for the 2008~09 sea~
son. Our cup runneth over!
Whatmovieactorwill playtheroleof Beebo?
Hillary Swank? Chloe Sevigny? Charlize Theron? I promise to let
you know if and when
it happens. In fact,
you will find it hard to
hush me
The 10 Most Underrated Lesbian Books
1. TwoSerious
winningauthortoldcurve. "I thinkin someways
ladies,JaneBowles:
Thisearlypostmodern
stunnerfeaturesthe
it's the mostinteresting
of mynovels."
eponymous
two ladies:an uptight
5. TheChildGarden,
GeoffRyman:
A
womanwhobecomes
a courtesan
futuristfantasybythegaywriterGeoff
anda wealthywomanwhofallsin
Rymanabouta lesbianrelationship
lovewitha prostitute.
Ana'isNinwas
betweena womananda femalepolar
seriously
jealousof Bowles,
bear.It'ssetin post-apocalyptic
withgood
London.
reason.
Truly,blazingly
brilliant.
2. Nightwood,
6. Biological
DjunaBarnes:
Exuberance,
Lyrical
Bruce
prosethatcutsrightto theheartof
Bagemihl:
Thisground-breaking
troubledrelationships.
nonfiction
bookabouthomosexuality
Thisbook,
published
andbisexuality
in 1936,is dysfunctionally
in theanimalkingdom
will providemanya queergirlwithgoodfodder
addictiveenoughthatyou'lldevourNoraand
Robin'sloveaffairfromthestartto theelliptical, for conversations
aboutthe"naturalness"
of
heterosexuality.
fascinating
end.
7. FairPlay,ToveJansson:
Thisfinalnovelby
3. ThePassion
ofNewEve,Angela
Finno-Swedish
authorToveJansson,creatorof
Carter:Published
in 1977,thisfantastical
trans-dream
books,detailswith wit
of a novelcallsintoquestion
gender, the belovedMoomintro/1
Hollywood
andWestern
betweentwo artistic
cultureitself.Unmissable, andsparka relationship
oldwomen.LesbianauthorAli Smithsaysin
full of mind-blowing
imagery,multi-nippled
god"It is mystifyingthat it's taken
dessesanda feverishnewAmerican
mythology. the introduction:
4. Affinity,
SarahWaters:
Watersis bestknown so longfor so muchof Jansson'sveryfine
adultwritingto haveEnglishtranslationbut it's
for TippingtheVelvet
andFingersmith,
but
of perAffinityis herdarkestandmostunderappreciated madethe discovery
fectlymade,beautifully
judged
novel.Theliteraryequivalent
of ThePrestige
by
novelslike FairPlayakinto
Christopher
Priest,it hadmefooledlongbefore
comingacrossunearthed
the reveal."I'm veryfondof Affinity,"theprize-
treasure-what a find."
8.AbsentKisses,
Frances
Gapper:
A collection
of amazingexperimental
(andmostlylesbian)
shortstoriesthatarefull of surreal,slyandgentle
Britishwit.Whenpressed,
Gapperdescribed
her
bookto meas"a bookabouthalf-human
and
half-something-else
things."
9. TheEndof Gay:AndtheDeathof
Heterosexuality,
Bert
Archer:
Thisbookchallenges
modernconstructions
of gaynessandshouldbe readby
all youngqueerlings,
whether
they'reimmersedin a queer
studiesdegree,with a head
full of Foucault,
or theyjust
want somethinginterestingto sayto their
nextdate.
1O.NoPriestbutlove:Excerpts
Fromthe
DiariesofAnnelister,AnneLister:
A raunchy,
moving,empowering
journalfromthe early19th
century.Thesearethe experiences
of a woman
leadinga shamelessly
passionate
lesbianlife.
Myfavoriteis Listerrevelingin
herdelightat stickingherhand
up anotherwoman'spetticoats.
[KATHLEEN
BRYSON]
Why I Heart Lesbians
NPR commentator slash gay author Marc Acito likes us. He really likes us.
I
T HAPPENS every time I'm at a queer event-no matter
how sociable the occasion, the men and the women end up
standing apart, as if we were at a seventh-grade dance. Or a
Baptist church picnic. Except, with vegan snacks.
I suppose it makes sense. Gays and lesbians are each a sexual
minority interested in our own gender. Our only common interest
is that we're oppressed, which hardly makes for cheerful cocktail
conversation. Moreover, most of our time is spent surrounded by
the straight majority, so it's only natural that we gravitate to those
with a shared experience, particularly if the experience we're hoping to share is horizontal.
Still, not all of us are using cocktail conversation to seek cock or
tail. So you'd think we'd mix a little.
However, contrary to the notion that it's the lesbians who are
the separatists, I've noticed that it's the gay men who keep their
distance. Sure, occasionally we'll fawn over those dykes who fit the
mold of a gay diva-the lithe lipstick lesbian with the pointy shoes,
or the chatty ChapStick chula with the potty mouth. But we willfully ignore anyone who doesn't conform to the narrowly defined
concept of beauty that, let's face it, we invented. If you don't already
think gay men are misogynistic for designing four-inch stilettos,
you should hear what some of us say when you leave the room.
If a queer event is a seventh-grade dance, the gay guys are the
mean girls.
Personally, I've never understood the hostility. I'm a huge fan
of sincere singer-songwriters doing
acoustic sets. I have a particular fondness for tomboy femmes, so much so
that I accidentally hit on one at a
~c:=i
party. And, unlike my brethren who
shudder at the thought of "the fur
taco;' I actually understand the significance of the Scissor Sisters' name.
However, even I have my limits. I can
(I
appreciate that lesbians might be appalled that Judi Deneb's character
in Notes on a Scandal reinforced the
stereotype of the psychotic, predatory dyke; but for sheer camp value,
it's the best Bette Davis movie never
made.
So the question remains: Why
do gay men, well, suck?
For starters, I think it's genetics.
The fact that queer people partner
with those of the same gender only
widens the gender gap. Unlike our
straight counterparts, we don't have
spouses who offer a counterbalance.
\ l~
\
(~
So two women end up reinforcing the traditionally feminine values
of community, family and the greater good, while two men make
lots of money, shop for uncomfortable mid-century modern furniture and drink Red Bull all night at the White Party. I know it's a
gross generalization, but think about it: Do you personally know
any lesbian Log Cabin Republicans? Yeah, me neither.
According to my friends who work for gay civil rights organizations, the lesbian contribution to the scales of justice has far
outweighed that of gay men for the last 20 years. This disproportion could be attributed in part to the loss of a generation of men to
AIDS, but you'd think the crisis would've mobilized the rest of us
in even larger numbers. But, no. Not while there's a sale at Saks!
Perhaps lesbians are simply braver than gay men. After all, an
adolescence spent with a field hockey puck whizzing toward your
head toughens you up more than, say, doing the twist in the chorus
of the spring production of Bye Bye Birdie.
But there are encouraging signs of change. On the state level,
civil rights organizations are showing a surge in male leadership-44 percent are now run by men. While I'd like to believe
this statistic shows that we're finally following the example of our
Sapphic sisters, I worry that it's the 21st century equivalent of Gis
returning home after World War II: "Thanks for riveting, Rosie.
We'll take it from here:'
Of course, none of this makes for cheerful cocktail conversation. But i£ as a minority community, we're going to continue to
make progress toward equal rights,
gays and lesbians are going to have
to clear the air, so we don't clear
the room.
An editor of a regional queer
paper once told me that if she wants
to be certain women will read a
particular issue, she'll put an "action
shot" on the cover. It doesn't matter
what they're doing-marching, running, dancing-as
long as women
are on the move, lesbian readers
want to know about it.
I'll give you one guess what gay
men like to see on the front page.
Here's a hint-it gives new meaning
to the phrase "hard news:'
Presumably, men are from Mars
and women are from Venus. But I
think on-the-move lesbians are actually from Mercury, the messenger
of good things to come, while gay
men ... well, we've just got our heads
up
To 10 Albums Ever Lesbian Must Own
ChloeLikedOlivia,
TwoNiceGirls:Because
fromKathyKorniloff's
insightful"Eleven,"
to
MegHentges'
tear-jerker"ThrowIt AllAway,"to
PamBarger'ssalient"Swimming
in Circles"andGretchen
Phillips'
lesbianrocker"TheQueerSong,"
ChloeLikedOliviais a magnificentlyentertaining
collection.
Self-Titled,
MelissaEtheridge:
Because
therewill nevera greater
songof anguishthan"LiketheWayI Do."Also,
hello,it's Etheridge's
firstalbum.Duh!
Blue,JoniMitchell:Because
"A CaseofYou"will
alwaysbeoneof themostpoignant,
heart-rendingsongsin theannalsof modernmusic.
Self-Titled,
TracyChapman:
Criticsandmusicfansbarelyknew
howto reactwhentheyheard
"FastCar."A sighwent'roundthe
world:"Ohmy,thissongblowsme
away.Whois thatsinging?"
Ta111 lll'la:i
LittleEarthquakes,
Tori
Amos:Because
everysingle
songon it is absolutely
stunning.Enough
said.
Self-Titled,
IndigoGirls:
Because,
althoughit's actuallytheirsecondalbum,thisis theonethatreally
startedit allforAmyRayandEmilySaliers.
The
harmonies,
theguitarsandthe magicof thisalbum's10 songsmakeit relevantand
poignant,
20 yearsafterits release.
WhenI WasA Boy,JaneSiberry:
Because
this is perhapsmyfavorite
albumof alltime,byoneof themost
divinesongwriters
everto roamthis
earth.Siberryhasanotherworldlyvoiceanda waywithwordsthatsets
herapart.
Freedom,
MelissaFerrick:Because
thetitle
trackis succinctly
liberatingandthreesongs
laterFerricklashesoutwiththein-your-face
"SomeKindaNerve""Drive,"couldsteamup
windowsinAntarctica.
Hymnsof the49thParallel,
k.d.lang:Lang
bringsto lightthesongwriting
brillianceof
NeilYoung,
JoniMitchell,JaneSiberry,Bruce
Cockburn
andLeonardCohen,
to namesomeof
herfellowCanadians
featuredon 49th. If I had
to chooseonesongasthe
centerpiece
of thisrecord,it
wouldbelang'sinterpretationof Cohen's
"Hallelujah."
Dilate,AniDifranco:
Because
"Napoleon"
is brilliant,"Amazing
Grace"is brilliant,
"Shameless"
is verybrilliantandwho
hasn'tbeltedoutthedelightfulrefrainof "Fuck
You(Untouchable
Face)"moretimesthatyoucan
shakea stickat?[AtMSELL. PONrt]
The 7 Deadly Sins of Coming Out
Love is blind. Lesbian love is hallucinatory. By Gillian Kendall
A
NYONE WHO expresses a flicker of queer inclination
soon gets inundated with advice: Online, in books, at potlucks and in bars, experienced dykes clamor to tell newbies
how to flirt, what to wear, when to use the secret handshake and
why to avoid or embrace everything from vegetarianism to S/M.
Without so much as asking a girl out for a drink, a wannabe can
learn everything, from who wears Nike Air Force Ones to how to
purchase and operate a dildo.
Coming out in my early 30s, I inhaled advice like oxygen, yet
still did everything wrong. With the full advantage of hindsight, I
advise anyone peeking around the closet door to avoid these seven
deadly sins:
Gluttony: She-let's call her Torch-was an epicurean Taurus, and
I, a show-offy Leo. For one of our first evenings I made parmesan
balsamic chicken on a bed of jasmine steamed snow peas, followed
by iced coffee topped with Ben & Jerry's. Many suitable wines were
included. Those late-night drinks contained espresso, not the decaf I'd planned to use, and so we were both up till dawn, roaming
around our separate houses, drunkenly obsessing about each other.
Whenever we got together, I plied her with sugar, flattery and
other intoxicants, hoping she'd drop her clothes and her reserva-
tions. We drank spiced rum in the winter and ate mango popsicles
on summer afternoons. We got hotter and hungrier, our appetites
never satisfied. I spent my student loans on gourmet Indian takeout, English cheese, high-end marijuana and fair-trade chocolate,
just trying to tempt her.
Lust: Late one night in the driveway of my bo ,friend's house, I
asked Torch to kiss me goodnight. She murmured, Ihat would be
OK;' before reaching for me. Moving into her arms and putting my
mouth on hers felt like stepping into my true sel£
For the next two years, I thought about nothing except having
sex with her, something we did only in dreams, fantasies and heated
conversations. We made out like teenagers in cars, in alleyways and
in the bed she shared with Linda-her partner of four years-or
the futon I shared with my fiance. We wrote each other lurid notes,
porn and poetry; we frottaged through our clothes and wet each
other's thighs, but we never technically got it on. The frustration
only intensified the drama and desire.
Greed: Idiotically, I felt sure lei get to be with Torch simply because
I wanted it so much. Worse, I saw no impediment in the person
of Torch's long-time lover. In unmitigated ignorance about lesbian
January/February 2009
•
relationships, I assumed that alternative
sexuality included polyamory: I honestly believed that, in the welcoming spirit of woman-loving sisterhood, Linda would share Torch
with me. Ignorance is forgivable, but such disrespect is not. I was not
only unkind but borderline abusive to the woman I thought should
treat me like a sister.
I sabotaged her relationship by telling every lesbian in town what
Torch and I were up to. I called their house and hung up.
Sloth: I was too caught up in trailing Torch, mooning around and
Pride: I considered myself more attractive than Linda. Certainly, I was
younger, better educated and potentially richer. Furthermore, Linda
didn't even like chocolate. It just didn't make sense for Torch to stay
with her. Ego-driven dummy that I was, I pursued this nebulous
affair for two years, in which time Torch repeatedly told me that
it was over, but alternatively said she loved me and was breaking
up with Linda. We'd go for weeks without making eye contact,
and then wind up hiding in a faculty bathroom, snogging and
crying. It ended only when I made a cross-country move.
masturbating to make it to my pesky job as a graduate
teaching assistant. I was probably the only instructor
of English composition ever to receive student complaints about so many cancelled classes.
Wrath: Hell hath no fury like a Leo scorned.
Each time Torch told me that she couldn't see
me anymore, that she was working things out
with her partner, I believed it less. For years, she
always came back to me, in secret, full of guilt and
lies and furtive love. Eventually I realized I was
not the second priority in her life, but the 10th
or 11th, after her partner, her job, her cats, her
second cousins, her hay fever and her junk mail.
Envy:Torch was a smarter lesbian than I was, with a comprehensive
worldview and a butch stride. I memorized a list of sexy things she'd
said; I read the books and listened to the music she liked. I didn't just
want to be with Torch, I wanted to be her.
To step out of the closet in style, just do the opposite of
everything I did. Embrace the lesbian virtues of bravery,
integrity and respect. And may the goddess oflesbian unions
bless you and keep you, and help you enter the heavenly
realm of romance.
Be ond Desert Hearts: 10 Films to Rent When You Come Out
Yourstraightfriends
FriedGreenTomatoes:
andyourmotherwill say,"What?That'snota
theydon'tknow
lesbianmovie!"That'sbecause
Ruth'snoteto
howto watchit. Justremember
ldgie:"Whitherthougoest,I will go.Whitherthou
lodgest,I will lodge."Andthe scenein the river?
Hello!Andif youhaven'twatchedthisonein a
while,it's a greatoneto revisitwitha fresheye,
in searchof all the"signs."
A teenagButI'm a Cheerleader.
no less-is
er-and a cheerleader,
camp
sentto gayrehabilitation
afterherfamilynoticesshe'sa fan
of women'ssoccer,lovesMelissa
andis a vegetarian.
Etheridge
It's a totallycampyflick featuringCathyMoriartyandRuPaul
asthecamp'sstaff,CleaDuvall
asa fellowcamperandNatasha
Lyonneasthe cheerleader.
Bound.Gritty,tough,stylish
andthrilling,thiscrimedrama
brothers(thoseMatrix
fromtheWachowski
guys)bringstogethera toughex-con(thesultry
anda mobster'sgirlygirlfriend
GinaGershon)
Tilly)whoschemeto changetheir
(Jennifer
livesin morewaysthanone.(And,bonus,check
outin Preyfor Rock& Roll,whereshe
Gershon
frontsanall-girlrockbandcalledClamDandy.)
the VelvetIf yourstraightfriends
Tipping
costumedramasand
swoonoverMerchant-Ivory
youwishyoucould,too,here'soneto try.This
novelby
basedontheacclaimed
BBCminiseries
SarahWatersis striking,sexyandsad.
GoFish'.So,you'vecomeout,you'restill not
readyto stepinsidea lesbianbarbutyouwant
to hear"reallesbians"talk.Thenrentthis movie
Turner(whoany
fromRoseTrocheandGuinevere
L Wordfanwill tell youaretwowomento pay
story
attentionto).Thislooking-for-love
youaccidentally
playslikea conversation
stumbledintoandnooneaskedyouto
leave-and that'sa goodthing.
If TheseWallsCouldTalk2: Thistrio
of talesfeaturesverydifferentstoriesof
lesbiancouplesspanningseveraldecades.
Fromthe sadnessof a widowedpartner's
is heartbreakRedgrave
loss(Vanessa
of
ing},to the exploration
feminismandgenderroles
in the 1970s(Michelle
to a
Williamsis spunky),
giddycoupletryingto get
pregnant(SharonStone
this
andEllenDeGeneres},
is a movingfilm. Infact,if
yourmomis havinga tough
timewrappingherheadaroundyourcoming
out,it mighthelpto haveherwatchtheVanessa
segment.Butonlythatsegment.Don't
Redgrave
her.
overwhelm
ImagineMe & You:Callingall lesbiansdivorced
is walkingdown
frommen:A bride(PiperPerabo)
theaisleto hergroom.Onthewaythere,she
of Fox's
lockseyeswiththeflorist(LenaHeadey
TheSarah
Terminator:
ConnorChronicles).
hermarriage
Suddenly,
doesn'tseemlikeit will
workanymore.
MySummerof love:
girl
A working-class
Press)and
(Nathalie
teen(EmilyBlunt,pre-DevilWears
a privileged
Prada)crosspathsona hotsummerdayin the
Theirseasontogetheris a
Englishcountryside.
steamyone.
Yes,lesbianmoviescankickbutt.If
O.E.B.S.:
actionandhavea
Angels-style
youlike Charlie's
senseof humoronthe snarky
side,this is a fun oneabout
girls
a groupof prep-school
whoaresecretagents- and
possiblymore.
SavingFace:Here'sa fun
coming-outstory:A young
AsianAmericandoctor
(MichelleKrusiec)is struggling
with howto tell hertraditionalfamilyshe'sa
mom
Thenherwidowed,middle-aged
lesbian.
(JoanChen)getspregnantandwon'ttell anyone
whothefatheris.Talkaboutpullingfocus.
[ROBINMINER-SWARTZ]
How to Stay Friends With Your Ex
rt:,,~
A 10-step progam to camaraderie after coupling.
By Jen Berkowitz
I
T MAY take serious work,
but becoming friends with
your ex can be achieved, if
you really, really, really want to.
Step 1: Face the music.
Get the 411 on your situation. Is
it really over between you? A few
telltale signs that your ex is not
really your ex:
• You're still having sex
• You're still living together
• Her razor is still in your shower
+She meets up with you on your
dates
• You've still got your photos of
her on display
Step 2: Make a dean break.
Let's go back a moment. You've already gone through the agony of
breaking up-now rip off the Band-Aid. Yes, it's going to hurt. Yes,
this person is and was your best friend. Yes, maybe this person is
in a lot of pain and you want to be there for her. Guess what? You
can't make it better. Trudge around with your ex to get your mutual
needs met and you will reek of baggage. It sounds terribly unromantic but, sadly, you can live without this person, and you've got to try.
Otherwise, neither of you will really move on. You have to take a
break from all things ex-coffee shops, bars, even mutual friends. If
you want to be "real" friends, then consider walking through the fire
and saying a sincere goodbye, in the interest of the future.
Step 3: Resist drama.
Step 4: Resist drama.
Step 5: Resist drama.
Step 6: Get your own life.
It's rough sometimes-but
in some cases it's a breeze. Either way,
you've got to get into your own single life. Give yourself time: Mourn,
draw, jerk off 10 times a day, whatever. When you finally get into the
swing of things, it's fun to get your groove on. You'll lose weight (or
gain it back); you'll think about having sex with other people; you'll
do your own thing. Yes, it's kind of fantastic. Or yes, it's really rough.
iJJ
J
c:vi
I
I
If it stays rough, stay at Step 6 until it is fantastic.
Step 7: Redefine your relationship.
You're finally ready to talk again? Great. Try it over coffee or in an
email, nothing crazy. Step 7 requires exercising self-restraint
and minding your manners. Do
not ask if your ex is dating other
people. Stick to, "How are you?
How's work? How's your family?" Keep it short. The goal in
these interactions is to get in
and out without bleeding all
over anyone, including yourself
See how much you can handle
and let the friendship grow from
there. You can go through Step 7
for a month. You can go through
it for a year. Let it breathe.
Step 8: Resist drama.
Right about now is when you
might want to mix it up-don't.
Mix things up and you'll end up back at Step 2. Your ex is not your
new singlehood coach. In fact, your ex is not your new anything.
Fight the urge to revert back to comfortable codependency. If you're
still feeling funky, then let it breathe a little more. You've come this
far already-you really can do this.
Caveat: Beware a re-emergence of the"issues:'
Now that you have had some distance, it's OK if someone wants
to rehash something or get an old resentment out of the way. The
idea is that you are now ready, with distance, to hear it. The key word
is "hear": If you want to get through this, you will have to shut up and
listen. Yes, she may be talking about how awful you were. Strangely,
there's not always a reason to defend yourself This 1r ·m important
point in working toward your friendship-getting honest.
Step 9. Stick to the boundaries.
Ladies, once you've become friends, resist the temptation to act
the way you might have in the past. This means no texting "I really
wanted to kiss you;' or "You look really amazing" afi:er you hang out.
Put your phone in your pocket and go boldly down the street and
into the unknown-you do not own your ex-lover anymore and it's
going to be OK.
Step 10. Know that one day you'll meet your ex's new lover.
Don't mess this up. Don't talk about when you and your ex were together. Act like a normal person who has a life, and acknowledge your
ex and her lover as a couple. Be happy you're in each other's lives-isn't
that why you wanted to be friends with your ex in the first
January/February
2009 I
Black women come out, quiet as it's kept. By Alison Peters
e black community there are some things so taboo they
being gay. Most black families I
know have at least one gay member, but that information is a
secret kept so quiet that it feels almost like a betrayal to delve
into it. For the women I spoke to for this article-whether
they have religious family members with "don't ask, don't tell"
attitudes, or simply because they were taught to not speak
about the thing that made them different-coming out was
not an option. Parents might disown you; the community or
the church might turn its back. Whatever the reason, many
black women keep their sexuality a secret, behind closed
doors, on the down low. This is their story.
Kamai Warner describes herself as a "heavily tattooed,
copper-colored, Mohawk-wearing, rock-star-wannabe, softball-playing black lesbian" and admits she has always known
that there was something different about her. Raised in the
South in a family of Baptist preachers, Warner attended
church five to seven days a week as a youngster, and remembers her first girl kiss when she was 9. Caught by her mom
and spanked, she was never told what she'd done wrong. "I
I
j st aren't talked about-like
always thought it was amazing that [the preachers in my family] could get up in front of 50-plus people in a church and
talk, but they couldn't sit down and talk to someone young
that they were raising as one of their own ... about what was
going on in my life;' Warner reveals. Pardy to prove herself
"normal" by any means necessary, she began sexually experimenting with boys when she was around 13 years old, even
as she continued to play house and have sleepovers with her
girlfriends. It was a pattern of denial and secrecy that would
shape her life until very recently.
Warner could never confide in anyone in her family. "To
this day;' Warner says of the aunt who is like a mother to her,
"She hates gay people ... If she knew [about my sexuality] she'd
alienate me, keep the kids away.It's scary:' Growing up, Warner
always heard rumors of a lesbian half-sister and a transvestite brother, but everything she overheard was negative-no
one wanted to be associated with them and neither, Warner
decided, did she. "When I turned 20 I drove out to visit my
sister and talk to our dad;' Warner remembers. He said to her,
about her very out half-sister, "She's not my daughter. Do you
know anybody gay in this familyt
When Warner moved out of her aunt's house to live on her
own, she was still publicly dating men, while secretly enjoying her first full-blown affair with a woman. At 18, Warner
drifted toward, and subsequently moved in with, a 28-yearold man. "But when he was gone, I'd find chat lines to meet
women, sometimes even have them over to our house. It was
a risk I had to take because it was a feeling that wouldn't leave
me alone:' The relationship lasted three years, and Warner
ended it because she was worried he would find out about
her affairs.
Warner's family refused to consider the possibility that
she was gay and were thrilled when she started seriously dating another man. When he asked her to marry him, Warner
accepted, knowing how happy it would make her family. "I
wasn't in love when I married; I did it because my family was
going to be so proud and I was always the black sheep. I just
wanted them to love me and be happy:' But in less than a
year, her husband became physically and mentally abusive. It
was just another secret she kept from her family. "They were
so happy for me; I never wanted them to know what was
happening:'
Warner was finally able to confide in a good friend, an older
gay man who realized the seriousness of her situation. "I told
him, 'I've been with women-I think I'm gay, but I'm married:" He helped her move out and supported her through the
separation and divorce. Warner left her marriage with nothing but the will to finally live life on her own terms. Three
years later, in her new home in Royal Oak, Mich., Warner
says she realized it was time to stop fighting and let things
be. She gravitated toward the gay folks in her new locale; they took her to the
clubs ("It was just like Christmas!"), introduced her to curve and schooled
her on Pride.
Warner's one wish is that her family had been able to accept her for who
she was. She thinks it might've helped to give her the stable life that she'd been
craving. She's started to come out to her new friends, but not her family."I feel
like t'1ere's such a big part of me that my family will never know because of
the way they are. You're my family, you love me, you should be able to accept
whoever I'm with!" Considering her new job, her new friends and her new
attitude, Warner sums it all up: "So, I guess, here I am:'
Shauna Felix (not her real name) had a similar experience. "When I was
a little girl, I used to play in the closet with my best friend;' she recalls. "We'd
pull out The Joy of Sex and act out the pictures;' she laughs. "I ask my friends
today-didn't everyone play like that? And they say,'No, that was just you: I
just thought it was normal, something all little girls did:' When she was 13,
there was a butch girl at Felix's school, a tomboy who made it known that she
was gay. She liked Felix, the feeling was reciprocated and it turned into her first
relationship with a girl.
"One day we got caught in the schoolyard kissing. One of the school
administrators was a friend of my mom and told her. My parents were irate:'
They put Felix in counseling and told her that if she was gay she'd never have
any friends. "It was horrible;' Felix remembers. "My dad was raised as a very
strict Baptist:' Felix wasn't raised in the church, but always understood that
the family religion was coloring her father's opinions about her sexuality. Felix
ran away to her girlfriend's house, and for a year and a half they had what
amounted to a full-blown relationship-going
to school, eating dinner together and doing homework. Felix assumed that her girlfriend's mom would
accept that she was a lesbian, but when actually confronted with it, she got
upset. "She was like, 'What the hell are you doing? Get out!'" Felix remembers.
"It was hostile:'
From a very young age, the experiences Felix had with other girls, her burgeoning sexuality and the reaction of her parents kept her closeted, especially
around family."I had lots of cousins, and when we'd hang out I'd play it off like
I liked guys:' By high school Felix was back living with her family, sneaking
girls into the house when no one was home, going to gay clubs and discovering the gay scene. Then Felix went off to Mills College, an all-women's college
in Oakland, Cali£ "If I'd been more comfortable with myself, and out;' Felix
laments, "it would've really been an experience. But I pretty much kept to
myself. People probably knew, but we just wouldn't talk about it:' Like Warner,
Felix didn't want to make other people uncomfortable by talking about her
sexuality. Based on the way her parents reacted, she decided it was something
she'd better not talk about.
Things changed when Felix was the victim of a violent crime in her early
20s. "It made my dad realize how much he loves me, when he realized how
close it could have come to things going really wrong. Now he wants to be
there and know about my life:' A private person by nature, Felix is working on
becoming less sensitive to what other people think.
"The black community can be crazy. Parts of this world are great and
wonderful, but there's the other part where we're really hurting each other;'
Felix muses, echoing a sentiment shared by Warner, who has finally got to
a point where she could say to her co-workers, "I don't like boys:' She says,
"Everybody's different. Everyone white I work with is OK with this; my black
co-workers still talk to me but keep their distance ... I'm at a point where I
want to get to the bottom of why people in my community, in my family, won't
accept my being gay:'
It's a question with no easy answers.
adi on Young is a trifecta. A porn director, fetish superstar and the owner of the feminist art gallery Femina Potens
in San Francisco, she is constantly busy raising energy,
awareness and heart rates around the country. We pick her
brain about making porn, running an art gallery and having
ti
orgasms.
s
Youownandruna feministart gallery,you'rea globally
starandyou'rea porndirectorand
bondage
recognized
Whichcamefirst?
producer.
I
They pretty much happened at the same time. I created the
gallery and had already done a little bit of nude modeling,
but I started taking it seriously when I had an art gallery
to support and knew that I needed the income in order to
produce my art and help create visibility for other women
and queer artists. I've never been afraid of the two worlds
1
r
This lesbian feminist pornographer has us all tied up. By Courtney Trouble
being one. Instead, I embrace panels, interviews and discussions that debate art versus porn and their relevance [in] our
community. I choose to make waves in feminism one orgasm
at a time.
artshowsthatturnsyouon?
Whatis it aboutartandcurating
What really gets me hot about curating art shows is working with brilliant artists and watching their work grow and
develop through the years. I love bringing artists and community together and creating dialogue in the community
through art. It also makes me hot to see artists' confidence
grow around their art, and for women and trans artists to
realize that their art is worth something and that they are
worth something and that their work is appreciated.
FeminaPotens?
Whatareyoumostproudof,concerning
I really feel like I'm most proud of the fact that we have
acquired so much visibility and outreach and that
we are able to be such a key resource to the San
Francisco queer community and beyond. That's
what we are really here for. Our volunteers and staff
have tripled in the past couple of months, our audience base is continuing to grow, we are now curating
at venues that are not just at our amazing storefront
in the Castro, but also at spaces around the city, like
the Center for Sex and Culture, Good Vibrations,
One Taste, and Black and Blue Tattoo.
and
Whendidyoufirstgetintonudemodeling
bondage?
46
I curve
I first got into nude fine-art erotic modeling when I was 21. I
remember I was back from a college internship and in Ohio
for a couple of months and looking through the local paper. I
saw an ad for nude modeling and I kept going back to it and
reading it over and over. It really excited me to think about
someone taking photos of me nude. I still have those photos.
They make me smile. I love those photos.
s
I
Youperformin pornandputouta few of yourownDVDsthrough
MadisonBound.Wasit yourprimarygoalto bea directorand
producer?
Back when I first wandered into my first nude photo shoot, I wasn't
really planning on directing when I grew up. But after about a year of
shooting for other producers, and as I continued to write more erotic
stories for the Internet, I really wanted to see my stories coming to life.
I also really wanted to see more porn and erotica that I thought was
hot. I think it is important to get the queer view of sexuality out in the
world. And as a director I do have more control in order to create real,
honest sexual connections on film, with intelligent scripts about the
art world, [and the] queer, kink and literary world.
Howdoesthe pornyoudirectandproduce
differfromthepornyou
arecastto performin?
When I'm only performing I can show up and only have to concentrate on performing-cultivating
that sexual energy and connection
between myself and my fellow performer. I go there and listen to the
director and what concept they have for the video and give all of myself to the scene. But directing and performing in my own works can
be somewhat stressful, as part of me is thinking about if the photographer or videographer is getting the shot that I want, which is why I
try to do as much preproduction planning as possible.
Is therea specificreasonwhyyou'vechosenqueerness
andsexas a
soapboxratherthanotherpoliticalconcerns?
It is an art to open yourself up to another being and to pour your energy
and yourself into them. To breathe life and orgasm into another person, another art form. To lee go of ego long enough to let something
honest and uncensored occur. I think when we can make this happen
it is revolutionary. I think giving visibility to queer sexuality and to
queer art is crucial and is brave and necessary. I've chosen this soap
box because it is part of who I am. I would be untrue to myself and my
community if I was doing anything else. This is something I've always
felt drawn to do and so I do, with all my heart ... and
Straight men can pay for sex anytime
of the day and just about anywhere
in the world. This has always made
me bitter. Why don't lesbians solicit
prostitutes? Could we if we wanted to?
Horny lesbian that I am, I decided to
take it upon myself to try.
I began where all searches for sex
begin: the Internet. "Lesbian prostitute" turned up YouTube videos and
rumors about Heather Mills, a decadeold article by a lesbian sex worker
discussing a lesbian client who tried
to cook breakfast for her and didn't
understand why she had to fork over
cash for their previous night's romp.
If the Internet is any indication, it
seems that, whether due to ethical
considerations or a lower sex drive, lesbians just don't seem to
have the need to pay for sex. I, however, was determined to hire a
prostitute.
I looked at all the sex ads in the back of the local papers and
on the Web. I'm not that picky but I insisted on weeding out
the unattractive women, the teens and the girls who looked like
they might be sex slaves from overseas. I stuck to the ads with
pictures, actual phone numbers and specific information about the
sex worker's assets.
Left with a list of about a dozen women, I picked up the phone
and started dialing away. My hope was to find someone for that
evening-before I lost the nerve to go through with it. Prostitute
after prostitute rejected me. They didn't trust a woman's voice and
thought I was surely law enforcement. And, if I wasn't a cop and
I wasn't calling for my boyfriend, whatever could I be looking for,
they wondered.
At this point I was frustrated. I decided to expand my search
to include transgender prostitutes. There were no trans men listed
anywhere so I settled on trans women, who also turned me down.
I was ready to give up when one of the trans women called me
back and agreed to take me on as a client. We agreed on $150 for
sex. Her voice, like the others, sounded hesitant on the phone,
but I assured her I was not looking to exploit, just to explore. I met
her on a street corner in New York City, shaking in my boots with
fear and anticipation, until she whisked me away to her apartment,
where she fed me booze and porn to loosen me up and create
a mood. I was tense but slowly relaxed and allowed myself to
honestly admire her long legs, tight, feminine waistline and large,
voluptuous chest. She was indeed hot.
The challenge, though, was that she was pre-op and still had
boy parts between her legs. I tried to be open-minded but I just
wasn't turned on. I could tell she felt the same as she had a boyfriend and her regular clients were all male. She admitted that a
woman had never solicited her for sex for herself before. We had
what was, at best, an awkward entanglement. Admittedly, what I
enjoyed most was our light conversation throughout the experience and the titillation of actually having gone through with it. I
was more concerned with the socio-cultural implications of being
a lesbian John (er, Jane) than I was about getting off.
In the end, I suppose I answered my own question in the quest
for equality. I was proof that lesbians enjoy sex more when a human being and her whole life come with it. Turns out, I'm OK with
leaving the detached, physical, not to mention pricey, experience
to the men. [AWSON STEINBERG]
January/February
2009
I 47
Electrocabar sen ation and lesbian thor Dahlia Schweitzer
finds out what it's like to party with the Playboy bunnies.
for the year that has come before. I also said something about
the magic of the holidays because, well, I wanted my free
ticket). Then I forgot about the whole thing in less time than
I'd taken to fill out the form. Imagine my surprise when I got
an email a couple weeks later that I'd been accepted:
Thank you for your applicationto attend this year'.sPlayboy
PajamaParty.Yourapplicationhas beenapprovedand accepted.
Your ticket is NON-TRANSFERABLE. Pleaseprint out this
confirmationand bringit to check-inwithyour photo ID.
s we have a VIP ticket, everyone is instructed via email,
t park in a parking garage in Century City. From there,
a shuttle will take us to the mansion. I get to the parking
garage at 9 p.m., half an hour after check-in begins. Quite a
few people, mostly men, are there already. I don't want to make
eye contact, but I look them over out of the corner of my eye.
Men apparently feel comfortable wearing pajamas to this kind
of party. Some are wearing robes. They are all in their mid to
late 20s. Everyone, with two exceptions, is white.
I try to pretend I am completely unfazed by the fact that
I am half-naked as I walk through a parking garage. I get my
sparkly pink Playboy bracelet and board the shuttle bus. I sit
by myself and try to look as ifl don't care. I am not looking to
get laid. I am not looking for an excuse to show off my tits. I
am there because I want to watch the action. I want to see Hef
and Kendra, Bridget and Holly. I want to see how this other
half parties. I want to see what the Playboy myth has to offer,
now. I want to see who else is standing in line to get their piece
of the action. I want to see Paris Hilton and Scott Baio.
Turns out, you can apply online for complimentary
invites to select Playboyparties. This one is the annual Playboy
Pajama Party. I didn't think much about it while filling out
the application, absentmindedly selecting a photo to upload,
answering a couple questions, describing the month in which
I'd want to be a Playboy centerfold and why (December,
because that's my birthday month, a time of beginnings for
the new year ahead and a time of closure and accomplishment
48
I curve
Everyone else would pay $1500, I was going for free-no
video cameras please. I couldn't say no. But I hadn't even bothered to try to recruit a companion, and now it was too late.
It was go alone or not go at all.
I had no idea what to wear. Bra and undies? No way, not
to a party I'm going to solo. I contemplated several different
options (librarian look? Men's dress shirt and lacy pantiesn
before raiding my roommate's closet in a panic. She had one
slip that worked perfectly. Flirty, flowery, short-sexy but not
too provocative. I figured I'd fit right in.
We finally snake our way up the narrow driveway and are
deposited in front of the famous mansion, limos and luxury
cars everywhere. We never enter the mansion, going straight
to a tent area set up beside the famous Grotto. The tent area
seems trashy and cheap. Some girls in bikinis are dancing
around poles. They're not dancing well. Tables are set up with
white chairs around them. There is a makeshift bar on one
end. The environment feels far from Playboy fabulous. It feels
like a bar mitzvah. I move on.
I go to the bathroom for lack of something better to do.
girls there (blonde hair, big
There are a couple Playboy-looking
outfits and which pretheir
about
tits, orange skin), talking
has the early onset of
One
on.
are
scription medications they
osteoporosis. No one is doing cocaine. They nod at me as I go in
and nod again as I go out. I get a (plastic) cup of water from the
open bar and decide it is time to be a little more aggressive.
"Hi;' I say to two tiny and beautiful girls who are standing
up against one of the small tables near the bar. "Mind if I hang
out with you guys? I'm here alone:'
"Not at all;' they both declare enthusiastically, and I notice
strong Southern accents.Turns out, these lovely ladies flew in
from Atlanta. They'd arrived the night before and were taking
early flights the next day to make it home in time for Mother's
Day. One woman, we'll call her Kate, has two children, both
under the age of 5. The other, Lindsay, has one. Kate is married but has chosen not to wear her wedding ring that night.
See, Kate has wanted to be in Playboy since she was 12, so
when she also got a complimentary invite through the same
application process I'd used, she got Lindsay to apply as well. It was a oncein-a-lifetime opportunity, they told me. Who knows who they'll meet?
Maybe Hef will spot them-if he shows up. Whatever happens, they are
dressed for it. Kate even apologizes for her G-string as I walk behind her.
They know how many girls Hef has discovered at his own parties, and they
want to do everything they can to make it happen, before returning to their
families and dental hygienistjobs.
They tell me they've talked to Pauly Shore, and he's been totally out of it,
and isn't it sad, while I just look around for Jason Statham, who has recently
arrived. At first, all I see is Ian Ziering, which makes me appreciate the true
B level of the party. Is he the biggest star here? Where is Hef? Jason? Scott
Baio? Charlie Sheen?
Even Paris Hilton isn't here, apparently having given up even Playboy
in favor of playing Monopoly with her new boyfriend. Hef still hasn't made
an appearance. Holly, Bridget and Kendra are nowhere to be seen. I search
for Jason, desperate to elevate the evening, however marginally. I find him
by the pool, flirting with two Playboyclones. I realize he is short. To add
insult to injury, he is wearing sunglasses with his black silk robe. He clearly
thinks he is a happening star at a happening parry, and for some reason that
saddens me. I decide not to go talk to him after all.
Making a loop around the tent area, I notice one girl I've spotted before. She
is beautiful and charismatic. Laughing with a group of friends, she is showing
off her perfectly chiseled biceps. I stare. The second she is alone, I swoop.
"You have amazing biceps;' I tell her.
"Tennis:• She giggles. "Or genetics:'
Susannah is an aspiring actor, formerly married to a reality TV star. She
is busy avoiding Ian Ziering because of a one night stand they'd had, after
which she blew him off. She tells me his house reminded her of Portlandbut that's not enough of a reason to date, she explains, laughing. When she
hears I'm a writer, she leans in real close, and, her mouth inches from my
face, says, "Will you send me something? I want to produce. A short film:'
She pauses meaningfully, her eyes staring into mine. "Something intense.
Dramatic. A real role. For me:'
Despite the ridiculousness of the situation, she gives me her email.
"Promise me you'll write:' She takes hold of my hand between two of hers.
'Tll be waiting:'
Her hand is so warm, I exclaim about the heat of her skin. 'Tm allergic
to the cold;' she tells me. 'Tm on medication which keeps me warm:'
I'd never heard that one before, but there was a lot I hadn't heard before
this night. I am struck by the idea that yet another seemingly healthy, beautiful girl is on prescription medication. I am also amazed at the number
of women so eager to parade about half-naked, quite clearly for their own
enjoyment, for the pleasure of their own skin, for the opportunity to taste
the Playboy dream, even if only for one night. And clearly Hef doesn't even
have to be there for these men and women to buy into the dream he still
represents.
But Hef never does show. Neither
does Scott Baio.
Withhernewbookaboutnon-monogamy
Opening
,
Up:A Guideto Creating
Forexample,
if yousayyouaregoingto
andSustaining
OpenRelationships
(CleisPress),
thelesbian
sexpert
Tristan
seesomeone
a fewtimesa yearandcall
Taormino
offerssomepractical
tipsabout,well,opening
up.Relationships,
heroncea month,thenyoumusthonestly
that
is.Taormino's
guidechronicles
thewidespread
existence
of,andinterestin,
committo doingjustthat."
non-monogamorelationships
us
andexposes
society's
general
hypocrisy
Ontheflipside,
about
Taormino
gaveus
stepping
out.Infact,Taormino
says,"Non-monogam
isthe
y opposite
of cheating, threemistakes
to avoidwhenthinking
because
bothpartners
areputtingtheirdesires
onthetableandbeingopenabout aboutopening
upa relationship:
whattheirrelationship
or relationships
looklike."Weaskedherto explain
Makingassumptions.
the
"People
groundrulesforanopenrelationship.
Taormino
letusin onhertopfive:
definitely
getintotroublewhentheydon't
ConsentMakesureeveryone
is onthesamepageandexpectations
havealltheinformation
areout
theyneedto
in theopen.Nooneshouldfeelpressured
orcoerced
to agreeto anopenrelation- makegooddecisions.
If theyjustacton
shipfor anyreason.
howtheyfeelor howtheywouldactor reactin a c rtainsituation,
theyareaskHonesty.
Taormino
emphasizes
thatnon-monogamy
is notcheating,
ingfortrouble.
lyingor
Yourboundaries
maynotbesomeone
else'sboundaries."
betrayal.
Rather,
it is beingdirectandcandidaboutone'sdesires
OVer-commitm"You
andaskingfor
ent reallyhaveto figureouthowmuchtimeandenergy
whateachindividual
needsandwants.
youhave.Loveandlustareinfinite,butthereareonly24hoursin a day.Youhave
Communicatio
"Ifn.
talkingaboutfeelings-yours
andtheirs-on a regular to figureouthowmanyfuck-buddies
youcancommitto,keeping
in mindyour
basisis notsomething
youwantto do,it's probably
commitment
nota goodideabecause
orcommitments
to yourself
andallotheraspects
of andpeoplein
constant
processing
is partoftheprocess,"
yourlife."
saysTaormino.
Self-awareness
You
.musthavea prettydamgoodsenseof whoyouare,
Letting
goofinvestment
inthestatusquo.Openrelationships
aredynamic
andwhatyouwantandneed,andwhy.SaysTaormino,
"Thisis wherebuttonsget relationships
because
morepeopleareinvolved,
actingondesiresandinvolved
in
pushed,
soyouneedto haveanabove-average
andpriorities
senseof selfto makeit allwork. feelings,
andboundaries
arealwaysshifting.Change
is endemic
to
If youdon'tpayattention
to yourownneedsanddesires,
openrelationships
andthatis a positive
thenyoucannotpay
thing.
"Usecontracts
attention
to others'."
astools,"sheadds."Forcouples,
singles,
multiples,
it's
Commibnent.
"It'sa stereotype
thatopenrelationships
important
thatpeoplereallygetclearabouttheirlimitsandboundaries.
aretheopposite
of
Theyneed
committed
relationships,"
saysTaormino.
to articulate
"Myresearch
it in a concrete
showsthatpeoplein
way-writingit alldownhelpseveryone
figureout
openrelationships
takecommitment
whattheyreallywant.Ofcoursesucha contractis notlegallybinding,
veryseriously
andareopen,honestand
it's simply
committed
to makingtheirrelationships
a veryusefulexercise
work.However,
non-monogamy
to figureoutwhatis important
is nota
in relationships
andwhat
free-for-all;
thereareagreements
to abideby,nomatterwhattypeof relationship. eachpartyagrees
to doandnotto do."[STEPHANIE
SCHROEDER]
January/February 2009
I49
W////////////////M
ALISONPILL
W/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////IA
OT SINCE1993'5 Philadelphia has Hollywood gotten
behind a film as gay as Milk. From learning to ride a motorcycle to donning the '70s garb for a stroll through
San Francisco's Castro neighbor hood, Alison Pill (Dan in
Real Life, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen) recreates the
1978 version of Anne Kronenberg in the Gus Van Sant biopic.
Chronicling the last eight years in the life of Harvey Milk, a San
Francisco city supervisor and the first openly gay man elected
to public office, Milk highlights the early years of the LGBT
movement and particularly illuminates the unification of lesbians and gay men as a political force in the United States.
ef
e
t M' '
a
I knew the basic story and, like many people, I was like, "Was
he the mayort But I heard the horror story of what had happened-and more, what had happened to Dan White-after
the fact. I was shocked. Once I got the job I saw the documentary and read the book and got really into it and more fascinated with the time period, not just in San Francisco but in
terms of gay rights and what was going on in the community
and the organization that was starting.
H
50 I curve
One of your first lines really sums up the role of lesbians
in the San Francisco gay rights movement at that time:
"Is there a place for us?" What did you discover about
h1 histor·cal period?
Harvey was one of the first people to really try and create a
coalition among like-minded people who really had been
separated from each other, and he was one of the first to really
try and involve the lesbian community and also the minorities
around San Francisco. He opened everything up to people
with the same interests (but] who didn't necessarily socialize
[they became] part of the same commutogether-suddenly
nity. He was one of the first to recognize the strength in that.
Especially here, but it played out elsewhere and created a really vibrant LGBT community.
ha wer
your co
e n
I
ta ·ng on t
I just wanted to do it justice. It was incredible meeting Anne,
because she has this fantastic way of speaking and controlling a room. Not being loud, not being anything aggressive,
but just being able to control a room of men, women, whoever, and just knowing exactly what she wants to say. I just
wanted to try and capture that, this amazing woman would
come down so young, to be able to run a campaign and to
run an office in City Hall with not a lot of experience but
with a lot of wit and smarts and strength.
Was there any one scene that r ally resonated for you?
Oh my God, the candlelight march, when they shot it on
Market Street. That was maybe my second day of shooting.
They basically shot James Franco and I standing in the middle of the street thinking that nobody had come to Harvey's
funeral and just walking out into Market Street, which had
been closed down. All these volunteers marching. So many
people who had lived through it, so many young couples,
different races, different ages, gay, straight, lesbian, whatever.
It was just all these people walking with candles and it was
one of the most moving nights of my life.
0
p t that one es en ial about being
an actor is reading. What did you re d to prepare?
I read And the Band PlayedOn and the Harvey Milk biography. I live in New York and to read about the history there and
where Harvey started from and how his view point changedit's fascinating. There are a lot of people who don't know what
Stonewall is, who don't know who Harvey Milk is. It's sort
of been ignored, which is unfortunate. I'm hoping that more
people will learn about it, and it will be part of a more general
history that is taught along with the civil rights movement.
W//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////M
T
HELESBIAN
ACTIVIST
Anne Kronenberg, whom Alison
Pill credits with having "smarts and strength;' was
Harvey Milk's campaign manager for his fourth and
only successful run for the city supervisor post. Now, she
remembers the hope behind the history.
What was your reaction when you realized the size and
scope o ·he I m?
1A
I was thrilled, after all of these years-it will be 31 years on
November 27 since Harvey was assassinated-to
finally have
something happening. There had been so many false starts
and to have the likes of Gus Van Sant directing, and Sean
Penn playing Harvey, and James Franco. It was just as if 31
years hadn't gone by.
In o
cene our character asks, "Is there a place for
us?" Was there a divide between how gay men and lesbians ppr a hed poli ics ·n San Franci
at that tim
I think there was everywhere. I think that the gay movement
started as a men's movement. It didn't start as a gay and lesbian movement. We women who were politically active were
very much involved with the feminist movement. You have to
think back to that time frame, and we were fighting for our
equal rights as women. So it's not that the gay men necessarily
were trying to keep us out, but we were really busy ourselves.
Harvey saw how important it was to unite different disenfranchised groups, and so he was a natural ally for women. He
used to speak at feminist rallies. It was a brave thing for him to
bring me into the campaign, because the campaign had been
all men and with me came many other women.
On of the fir ..t hmgs that struck m upon se ing Milk
was its obvious parallel with what's going on now politically, e pecially with the Prop 8 battle in California. Why
do you hi
I
asn' rus ed out bef r
lect·on Day"
I can't answer that. I certainly thought about it while watching, too. But this is my first, and it will probably be my only,
brush with Hollywood and, you know, [its) mysterious workings. I have no idea.
ANNEKRONENBERG
You got involved in politics very young. How has your
e, p ct ve c a
do
he yea ?
I got involved with politics before Harvey. I did a recycling
center in Washington state in high school then became very
involved with the women's movement and the environmental
movement and I was very idealistic through that whole time.
When Harvey died, I lost my idealism. Not that I have not
been involved in politics, but I've really changed my focus. I'm
much more of a behind-the-scenes kind of person, trying to
get things done and to fill those needs in my life in different
ways, because that was a really, really painful period of time.
Some people, like Cleve Jones, just went on to become bigger
advocates and continue to be out there. I didn't have it in me.
om
I just hope that this film educates a whole new generation of
people [about] who Harvey Milk was and [that] it gives at
least one young person out there the hope that Harvey gave
me. It was a very special time and I was very lucky to have
known
REVIEWSMusic Watch
Rockin'in the New Year
Ring in 2009 with these music picks. By Margaret Coble
OurO n Isla d on
(RubyTower/
Who
Revolver):
knewthat a localSan
bandwould
Francisco
createsucha response
on curve's MySpace
page?VonIvais clearly
a popularpickwith
the ladies,andit's no
wonder.Theirbig beat,
Afro-beat,soul-shaking
takeon electro-popis
heatingup dancefloors
up anddowntheWest
Coastandall acrossthe
country.Theirodeto
LosAngeles("LaLa")
is the kindof songyou
wantto blastfromyour
low-rider(or,youknow,
yourHondaCivic)while
cruisingthe streets.The
all-girltrio-Jillian Iva,
BexandLayLay-are
takeonthe
a refreshing
rawkchickmovement
andhit the perfect
balancesomewhere
betweenpunkchicks,
the Donnasandsoul
singerTinaTurner.In
theirownwords,the
soundis "goodshityou
can,andwill, danceto."
[KATIEPEOPLES]
Resolutions about curbing your spending be damneddon't let the new year go by without freshening up your
playlist. Whether you're into indie rock, hip,hop or funka,
licious old,school R&B, here are some gems you might have
missed that are bound to please.
Girls Rock! The Soundtrack (Cherchez La
Fem e Projec s): If you didn't get to see this amaz,
soundtrack will get you revved up with its mix of camper
bands and other music from the Pacific Northwest, like
Shemo, Sonic Youth, Sleater, Kinney, Rainer Maria and The
Gossip. Many members of the featured bands either work
at or have helped out with the camp, which will give you an
idea of the quality of the instruction there. Musically speak,
ing, stand,out cuts include the lead,off ensemble piece by
campers from the 2004 session, the bluesy "Camp Theme
Song;' with help from Sleater, Kinney's Carrie Brownstone
and Rachel Blumberg, a veteran of several indie bands
ing documentary about the Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls in
8, to 18,year,
Portland, Ore.-where
C:._
•
I
olds come from all over the country
._,.J!!l!!"
to learn how to rock DIY,style, form,
ing bands, writing songs and building
now's the time to
community-then
put it in your Nedlix queue, because
it's due to be released on DVD this
month. (It had a limited run in the,
aters and film festivals nationwide.)
But in the meantime, this awesome
r---;:::---:.;-------
52
I curve
including the Decemberists; the abrasive
"San Francisco Sucks;' a raw screamfest
that makes me chuckle; and the catchy
"Global Warming," by Bliibird, a camp
duo, which will no doubt be a huge hit on
college radio.
Without the press sheet to guide
me, it's often hard to tell which bands
are products of rhe camp and which are
:;?
o
:r
3
<!
:i
E
cz
Q+A
Natalie Stewart
already established indie stars-and
that's a testament to
the power of the camp to teach and inspire and grow a
whole new generation of female rock stars. All the artists
on the disc donated their work; proceeds from the sale of
the CD benefit the Girls Rock Camp Alliance, an affiliation of Girls Rock Camp organizations around the world.
(There are currently 14 camps, with over 1,500 girls
attending worldwide.) Picking it up for a friend and for
yourself will help to build a new camp near you!
Bar Mitzvah Superhits of the '80s, '90s and
Today, Athens Boys Choir (Twinkle Toes)· For
those of you not in the know, Athens Boys Choir is actually the Deep South FTM trannyfag rapper and wordsmith
extraordinaire Harvey Katz. This fourth CD release from
the Georgia-based emcee is a retro-loving, gayer-than-gay,
word-spitting homo-hop dancefest. That is to say, Katz
can make your mind spin and your booty shake at the same
time-no mean feat. From the opening, self-aggrandizing
"EZ Heeb;' to the twangy "The Metrosexual Threw Off
My Gaydar;' to the catchy "Fagette" ( the video for which
is getting good play on LOGO), this disc is queer dance
party central. There are also a fair number of slam poetrystyle spoken-word pieces, sans music, equally brilliant and
hilarious, i.e., "Our Like-Like Is a Caboodle,""Teeth" and
the political anti-war rant "Mama Needs a Hug:' Anyone
who appreciates a well-turned phrase and a phat beat will
fall in love with this album and Athens Boys Choir.
Pebble to a Pearl, Nikka Costa (Go Funk
Yourself/Stax). If you, like me, still find yourself singing Nikka Costa's funktacular hit "Everybody's Got Their
Something" from way back in 2001, then you'll definitely
want to give a good listen to this new 12-tracker. After
releasing the underwhelming
Can'tneverdidnothing in
2005, and then fighting a losing battle with her previous
(major) record label, Costa set out to produce her latest
album on her own dime, and on her own Go Funk Yourself
label. And wow, we should all be so glad she did-this one
is a smoker!
With a perfect blend of old-school R&B, blues, soul
and ass-shakin' funk, Costa brings down the house on
"Stuck to You" and "Can't Please Everybody;' which will
appeal to Amy Winehouse and Janis Joplin fans alike.
The title track and "Cry Baby" keep the funk-soul party
going, while the vintage R&B ballad "Love to Love You
Less" slows it down to a very classic New Orleans sound.
There's really not a dud on this album, as Concord Records
noticed. They quickly offered to release it on the recently
relaunched Stax label-yes, the legendary Memphis soul
label that now has new life via artists like Angie Stone and
Lalah Hathaway-and
it's a perfect fit. Can't say enough
good things about this one.
Natalie "The Floacist" Stewart has moved beyond her seven-time-Grammynominated duo, Floetry, to embark on a new solo album, Freedom, which is due
out soon. Recently featured at the fourth annual Serafemme Queer Women
of Color Music Festival Weekend in Los Angeles, the U.K.-bred Floacist is a
creative force, expressing herself through music, slam poetry, writing and even
the tattoos on her body.
nofc~d + + you
t os dep·c powerf
ythica 1 s, bols.
Yeah, so you got Medusa at the top, Kali in the middle and the mermaid. I just
feel really close to mermaids-mermaid
ancestry and all that business.
read tha you wro e a screenplay with
ge na Jolie I r I d o play
e ea
You know, if it's going to happen you got to see it first, and that's who I see for the
role. I feel like Angelina Jolie is one of my spiritual sisters. I look forward to meeting her. I am a performing arts kid, I'm a poet, I'm a writer, I'm a floacist-which
is kind of bringing all things into one.
So I've been writing plays and books
and movie scripts, and performing them, forever. Even when I was
just writing them for my family, and
then I was writing them for people at
school, you know. So, yes. I have the
next 10, 15 years of my life-15 is
kind of in focus right now. Yeah, going to take the Will Smith walk, the
divine feminine version.
re
ng a
crossing
ve
ctin ?
Well, yeah, very possibly so. I will
definitely experience it all, but if
you're a performing arts kid you're
experiencing it all whether [or not]
you're doing (it] all. So even if you're
doing music videos, you're experiencing movies. Not that shooting a music video means that you can shoot a
movie. I don't mean that.
Wha
O t OU
album? I
noticed that you passed it around
and that you're going against the
grain as far as what people have been told ey can do with music.
Well, I have just started my own label, Spirit Mother Music, and I have a prealbum, which is called TheOffering, and it's free-10 tracks-it's my version of a
mix tape. And then Freedom comes out at the top of 2009.
I defin ely seems like
u ve
ne
ou
a sfo mation from what
your previous group albums were. Now that you're coming out as a solo
s
·key ,•
e
That's good. I mean, I definitely have got some enlightenment. Embellishments
though, you know, they're just embellishments. Life is life, time is time, days tick
by and I came to America with Floetry when I was 21, and now I'm 29.
k
h
Definitely, I am reborn. Again and again and again. [NATALIEBELL]
January/February
2009
I 53
Not Dead Yet
No one can kill Amanda Palmer's talent.
Boston-based singer-songwriter Amanda Palmer released
her first solo effort, Who Killed Amanda Palmer (Roadrunner
Records), in September, and emo queers everywhere are celebrating. Produced by fellow piano whiz Ben Folds, the album
marks the first solo project from the soulful, bisexual, female
half of the gay-friendly dark-cabaret Dresden Dolls. While this
is quite a difference in musical taste for both artists, the songs
on Who Killed Amanda Palmer (the title of which is a reference
to Twin Peaks) represent a personal journey and an examination of what it means to be "solo" for Palmer. She's worked
with more people on this album than on any of her previous
ones, but considers it a solo project since it's removed from
the Dresden Dolls.
Palmer says that her sexuality doesn't seem to make much
of a difference in who listens to her work. "I don't know if it's
just about being bisexual. The Dresden Dolls have some superemotional, dramatic fans, whether they're gay or straight. My
sexuality is really in the background, anyway, in my opinion.
Oftentimes, my songwriting is very sexual but not necessarily
sexy. I think the fact that I'm coming from a place of honesty,
confusion and catharsis speaks more to people than just the
fact that I'm bisexual." She continues, "It has to do with having
fearlessness about your own confusion. Maybe our music provides a kind of example of that for gay people ... There's a sense
that we're all just trying to figure it out." [RACHELLASTRA]
,w
6
SimplyKenia
en
(Mooka)
HookMe Up
ronicas
T'
(Sire)
Fora tasteof bothcontemporaryandclassic
Brazilianvocaljazz-pop,
looknofurtherthanthis
sumptuous15-cutdisc
by oneof Brazil'sfinest
exportswhois often
to Astrud
compared
Gilberto.Notethetrifecta
of English,Spanishand
treatments
Portuguese
of PatsyCline'sclassic
"Crazy."(kenialive.com)
Movingawayfrom
their earlypop-punk
leanings,the L.A.-based
Australiantwin sisters
reinventthemselves
in an electropoprockvein.They've
alreadyachievedhit
statuswith the sizzling
"Untouched."(theveroni-.
cas.com)
Alchemy:G.S.l
Reloaded
UltraNate
(SilverLabel)
Cycleof Fruit
Ang·e vans
(Independent
FreedomTribe)
Thisout-queerLong
Beach,Calif.,stargoes
nationwidewith a compellingdebut12-track
discof sax-filledsoulful
folk-pop.Theboldand
irresistiblyfunky"My
Politic"rocksmy world!
com)
(angieevans.
1
TheSecretsof theSea
Loquat
(TalkingHouse)
Frontedby the silkyvoicedKyleeSwenson,
Thesaucydancediva
issuesa deluxedouble- this SanFranciscoCDpackageof remixes basedquintetgorgeousfrom her recentGrime, ly blendselectronicand
plusher acousticinstrumentaSilk& Thunder,
first-evercommercially tion for an organic,
soulfulpop-rocksound
releasedself-mixed
that's highlydanceable.
DJset of additional
com)
(loquatmusic.
remixesfrom G.S.T.
com)
(ultranate.
3am Voice
GinaYoung
(self-released)
1--
z
a
<l'.
--'
a:
--<l
zw
Thoughbetterknown
a:
nowas halfof the
ID
'80s-loving,screaming- 0
queerelectro-hopduo
(j)
TeamGina,Younghas
er
u..
alsohada longcareer
0
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as an indiefolk-rock
tu
This, --'
singer-songwriter.
herlatestsolorelease,
w
rangesfromsparse
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indiepop-rockto
>
0
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lo-fi electronicfare.
a:
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com)
(ginayoung.
----
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54
I curve
Books I REVIEWS
Knowled e Matters
Books on knowing oneself and learning more. By Rachel Pepper
These books explore our quest for knowledge and our responsibilities to that information. Whether this is through journalist
Masha Gessen's quest for understanding
about her genetic heritage or Rock Camp's
philosophy of empowerment for girls, these
books will inspire and inform.
Blood Matters, Masha Gessen
(Harcourt): Masha Gessen has taken on
\f \ , H A
C E SSE •
Blood Matter
From l11lwri1t·dlllnt·~~
disease, from "designer babies" to a brief
examination of people with intersex
conditions. Entire ethnic and religious
clans are discussed, includingJews, the
Amish, and an extended family from
Holland with extremely high rates of
cancer. For those who want to learn as
much about cancer and genetics as possible, this book may well be a feast. For
all other readers, it will simply be too
much to swallow. (harcourtbooks.com)
to De~ignt'r Bahit•~,
a big topic in Blood Matters. This is evident
llow tlw \\orld and I
in the book's subtitle, which touts nothFou11d Our~l'ht•.., i11
ing less than finding the whole world in a
Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls, Ed.
tht• h1111n• of tlw C«·111·
gene. Gessen is the author of several previMarisa Anderson (Chronicle
ous books and is an experienced reporter
Books):This zine-inspired paperback
for the LGBT press. Currently, she lives
will appeal to two primary readerships.
in Moscow with her girlfriend and their
The first is rocker chicks who want to
children, and so is able to bring an internasee what their peers have to say about
tional perspective to the genetic anxieties facing
teaching the next generation to empower themmany Americans. The origins of Blood Matters
selves through music. The second is girls who
reside in Gessen's own personal history. In 2004,
have attended or may attend the rock camps, in
a blood test revealed that she was a carrier of a
cities like Austin, New York City and Oakland,
genetic mutation known as BRCAl, which is
Cali£, all of which are modeled on the feisty
common amongJewish women, and which had
original in Portland, Ore. In fact, there is even a
already claimed the lives of many of the women
professional organization, the Girls Rock Camp
in her family. As Gessen writes, "I learned the basics
Alliance, that oversees this burgeoning phenomof the story of my flaw. I carry a genetic mutation that kills
enon. Usually run by volunteers and operated on a sliding scale,
women early-earlier
and earlier with each generationthese camps take a group of girls, ages 8 to 18, some with no
through breast and ovarian cancer:'
musical experience whatsoever, and ensure that by the end of a
In Blood Matters, Gessen is at her best when linking her
week they can and will perform. The camps stress not only how
own personal quest for information with a discussion of
to play basic instruments like drums and guitar, but also how to
cutting-edge science. Indeed, casual readers with no scienwrite songs and publicize a band, with some life skills like selftific background will be quickly and gently educated about
defense thrown in for good measure. Due to the overwhelming
topics like "genetic drift;' "founder effect;' 'cancer destiny" and
success of these camps, there are even offshoots: Rock C :imp
for Ladies caters to moms who are tired of sitting on the sidethe politics and history of eugenics. Gessen also captures the
excruciating process women go through in deciding to have lines. With the growing notoriety-and enrollment-of these
camps, it's not surprising that this book, edited by camp artistheir breasts and ovaries surgically removed to avoid an almost
tic director Marisa Anderson and with a foreword by Sleatercertain diagnosis of cancer. Because of her own background,
Kinney's Carrie Brownstein, has come out now. While some of
Gessen is most engaging in the book's early chapters, which
the pieces are surprisingly elementary (does the target audience
function as a cultural history of illness and especially of illness
for this book really need a piece on why rock camps for girls
specific to particular ethnic groups. However, Gessen starts
might be necessary?), most-from how to set up a PA system,
to lose her stride midway. One can imagine a shorter, tighter
to how to keep the drummer happy, to how to promote on the
book, focused on her own quest for diagnostics but interwoWeb while still "fending off the creeps"-will appeal. Inspiring
ven with the history and medical issues of the Jewish people
as a whole. That story is here, but it gets buried too quickly. advice from rocker babes like Kaia Wilson, Beth Ditto and
This book had its origins in a series of online articles for Slate, drummer STS, as well as a scattering of photos and teenfriendly graphics, round out the package. Give this book to a
which explains why the topics range so widely, but doesn't help
young girl you know-then send her to rock camp to apply her
the narrative. Indeed, the reader is expected to bounce from
knowledge. (chroniclebooks.com)
breast cancer to colon cancer, from Tay-Sachs to Huntington's
organHunt(Alyson
Books):I swallowed
this secondTess
Camillomysterywhole,
alongwith its predecessor,StickyFingers,in a
mystery-reading
binge
whenI shouldhave
beenmakingnoodles
for my 5-year-oldor
spendingqualitytime
with my spouse.
Whatkept me gluedto
the pagewerethe colorful descriptions("the
samepuckishdeity
who designedscrotums
gracedmewith fulsomecurves");the
complicatedcharacter
of TessCamillo-San
Diegolesbiancomputer
jockey-cancersurvivorlustyladyon the verge
of menopause;
the
tone-a balanceof
comedyandwhodunnit combiningquips,
popcultureandqueries
on the natureof love,
evil,cancerandcasualsex;andof course,
murder.Hunt'svictims
are killed by snakebites
in StickyFingersand
crucifiedin Foolon the
Hill,a breathof fresh
air for readersgunshy
from too manyshotsin
the dark.(alysonbooks.
com)[BERENDEMOTIER]
January/February
2009
I 55
Q+A
S. Bear Bergman
In Butch Is a Noun, S. Bear Bergman whittles down the often convoluted issues of gender identity through personal observations about
gendered cultural norms like which bathroom and what clothing
one chooses, and argues against the gender binary from the positive
perspective of love and acceptance.
What were you trying to convey in your first chapter, "I Know
Butch Is"?
N
I really wanted to make the point that there is no one true way to
be butch. I think that often butches get shamed or critiqued or disregarded because of some other person's statement that they're "not
doing it right:' I'm saying: Listen, pay attention to good role models
and then do it how it comes naturally to you.
?
ha d ea
a ""la s e ryone
Pnae
a
It's about how we live in the world every day, and it piles onto everyone,
no matter where else they are privileged or disempowered. It grabs hold
of us when we're tiny-pink and blue blankets, dolls and trucks-and
refuses to let us go. The culture never stops trying to police it.
1\/hy re bath ·oom politics so Impo 1ant to examine?
Bathrooms are one of the places in public where you have to make an
unequivocal statement about your sex. Many trans folks point to the
first times they passed in "the other bathroom" as great moments of
triumph in their gendered journeys.
de i e al y?
W y do you tra a e rans,
I translate it literally in the book because I want to make a pointthat transgender is not about "the opposite gender:' There is no "opposite gender;' just some others. So I want to say, specifically, clearly,
out of boxes.
that being transgendered is about crossing-crossing
[LESLEYSEACRIST]
Transitive Words
Four years later, Jay Sennett is still surprised by the success of Homofactus
Press, the digital publishing house
he started in 2005. "Had you told
me five years ago I would grow up
to become a publisher," he wrote, "I
would have scoffed." But publish he
has. Homofactus Press publishes
books by, for and about transgender
men (and genderqueers like curve
contributor Sassafras Lowrey), a niche
group that has been neglected by
other publishers. Homofactus Press is
working hard to change things in the
publishing industry. One percent of the
profits are paid forward to Juliet Victor
Mukasa's nonprofit, Sexual Minority
Uganda (SMUG), to
fight the bigotry and
discrimination in her
home country, and all
its books are available
as both PDFs and
audiobooks, absolutely free to download. Homofactus is
shaking things up for
good. [TERESACOATES]
ll
SexandBacon,
Sarah atherme
Lewis(SealPress)
A 10-yearveteran
of the sexindustry,
SarahKatherineLewis
comparesthe erotic
between
association
foodandsexin her
newbook.Moments
of nostalgiafor lost
lovegettheirwounds
lickedwith bacon
fat-infusedcorncakes
as Lewisdeliversa
celebrationof fucking,
feastingandthe insatiablehumanappetite.
Sherecallseating
nukedBabyRuthsfor
a regularcustomer
anddisclosesherown
personalfetishes.
com)
(sea/press.
MCCAFFREY]
[ COLLEEN
56
I curve
Single
Choosing
Motherhood,
MikkiMorrissette
Mifflin)
(Houghton
TheElusiveOrgasm,
VivienneCass,
Ph.D(Marloweand
Company)
Islam,
Demystifying
Dr.Ali Shehataand
HeatherEl Khiyari
(ElysiumRiverPress)
A clinicalpsycholoWrittenby a first-genMikkiMorrissette
gist andsextheraexploresthe difficult
erationEgyptianimfinancial
pist,VivienneCass
emotional,
migrant(AliShehata)
theorgasm.I andethicalquesdemystifies
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tionsthat arisewhen
bornMuslimwhowas
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illustrationsof female havinga childusing
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commonproblemsand up-to-dateresearch, Mair),Demystifying
z
givetangiblesolutions. childexpertsand
Islamoffersan insider, <i
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a:
personalexperience yetWestern-friendly, Cl
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neutralaboutheraudi-: to giveadviceon how perspective
on Islam. fQ,
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UJ
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tions.(marlowepub.com);
(choosingsinglemotherreligion.
0
t)
PLATO]
[CATHERINE
[cM]
hood.com)
[cP]
(amazon.com)
5
=
Sapphic Screen
REVIEWS
Bound-UpPleasures
Films to tickle your fancy. By Candace Moore
This month's film picks run the gamut of sexy queer
relationships. Lesbian love in Taiwan, intergenerational
dominanHubmissive role-play and a 1950s starlet dabbling
in fetishism make for stimulating viewing.
D ·j ·ng Flowers (Wolfe Releasing): Taiwanese director Zero Chou's latest feature offers a triptych of lesbian love
stories that loosely connect over long or disjointed periods
of time. Like her festival fave Spider Lilies, Drifting Flowers is
visually lovely, yet better described as "moody" than "floral:'
In the first and longest segment, we are introduced to the
positively charming accordion player Diego (Chao Yi-lan), a
strapping young butch who wins a blind lounge singer's heart
with her attentiveness. Things are hunky-dory until the singer's 8-year-old sister is taken into foster care because of her
older sister's queer lifestyle. Part two brings us new characters: Lily, an elderly woman with Alzheimer's (played by the
renowned Lu Yi-ching), who mistakes her gay male husband,
Yen (theirs is a marriage of convenience), for her dead butch
lover, Ocean. Recently dumped, Yen moves in with and takes
care of his old friend, while Lily tends to his AIDS symptoms and confusedly has him dress in drag, lest people catch
on that they're a "couple;' which makes for equally sad and
humorous moments. Segment three links Lily's and Diego's
stories with a flashback to the two as teens exploring their
sexualities together. Diego's preference for binding over bras
is somewhat accepted by her mom, but not by the rest of her
family; she takes solace in Lily, an upbeat and rebellious cabaret performer. This film takes narrative untangling and trust
in Chou's lead, but fine acting and compelling characters
keep Drifting Flowers afloat. (wolfereleasing.com)
Punish Me (Pict re This! Entertainm nt • From
Angelina Maccarone, the director of two of the finest lesbian-themed films of the last three years (Vivere and Unveiled),
comes this endearing sadomasochistic work from 2006, now
available on DVD. An intelligent rendering of a dominantsubmissive relationship between a 50-year-old female probation officer and a 16-year-old boy, this film is just as queer
and provocative as the rest of Maccarone's oeuvre, even if
it doesn't portray a romance between women. Jan (Kostja
Ullmann), the teenager, stalks Elsa (Maren Kroymann)
relentlessly and begs her to do what she will with him; she
takes him to an empty building, pulls down his briefs and
swats his ass till he moans. They meet for such trysts repeatedly but never have traditional sex. In cool black and white,
with deep shadows, Maccarone captures the preciousness and
Weeds(Showtime):
Havingjust wrapped
(rolled?)its fourth
seasonwith the mother
of all cliffhangers,
Showtimehasannouncedthat its Golden
Globe-winning
show
Weedsis comingback
for two moreseasonsbut not beforeyou'll
havea chanceto beg,
borrowor stealthe
DVDs(wedon't really
recommend
that last
one)andgetyourself
caughtup on oneof
the mostwonderfully
dysfunctional
comedies
on cable.Withthe stock
marketin crisis,the
globeheatingup and
the worldon the brink
of a differentcalamity
everyday,it couldbe
just the escapistfix
yourfunnyboneneeds.
Stillnotconvinced?
Checkout"Top1O
Reasons
YouShould
BeWatchingWeeds"
at curvemag.com
and
let us persuade
you.
[RACHELSHATTO]
Bound-Up Pleasun: continued on page 58
January/February
2009
I 57
Bound-Up Pleasures continued from page 57
precariousness of the "different love" chat blossoms between a stern, exasperated woman and
a breathtaking, naughty boy. This is a quiet and
exacting film, full of tiny details and subtle emotions; its poetry feels intensely personal. Scenes
of Elsa's after care, cradling the often sobbing,
smitten boy co her chest, are the most tender,
and especially so in a role-reversal scene where
Jan holds and pets Elsa after she falls deep into
top drop. Brace yoursel£ though, for what ensues
when the couple's taboo secret is leaked co the
outside world. (picturethishomevideo.com)
The Bettie Page Collection (Cult
Epics). Including a documentary on the erotic
photographer Bunny Yeager and a bountiful assortment of the legendary Bettie Page's
burlesque films, Striporama ( 195 3), Varietease
(1954) and Teaserama (1955), this three-DVD
boxed set comes with a vintage treat in the form
of a two-hour retrospective of Irving Klaw's
1950s bondage, fetish and spanking videos featuring Page along with other sultry models. As
the collection's narrator informs us, Klaw start·
ed as a star photographer and expanded his
business to include filming S/M scenes when
male fans begged to see their favorite starlets
all tied up. (Perhaps they desperately wanted to
feel like they could "have" these famous women.) While manufactured for male cons ump·
tion, these short films from 1951 to '56, which
prominently feature Page's smiley, sexually curious expressions and uncomfortably high heels,
offer many pleasures to happily perverse dykes.
What's striking is that there are no men in the
picture, so all the rope play, leather corset eying,
body manipulation, gagging, collaring and slaps
to the behind are administered to women by
women. The lingerie, makeup, thigh-high tights
and garters show the models' strict adherence
to the gendered costumes of the time, yet today,
such getups have become classics of femme fe.
tish wear and arguably queer the objectification
they might have once represented. Imaginative
viewers can enjoy this collection against the
grain, reading lesbian desire and femme sub and
domme identities into these cinematic artifacts
of sexploitation. (cultepics.com)
Q+A
Tabatha Coffey & Dee Adames
They are the darlings of Bravo TV: sexy lesbian hairdressers
whose take-no-prisoners approach to work has made them fan
favorites. Dee Adames, a 37-year-old from Miami, took home
$100,000 as this season's winner of Shear Genius and now she's
launching her own salon, South Miami's Dee & L Hair Studio.
Meanwhile, Tabatha Coffey, the bold and unabashed star of
Tabatha'sSalon Takeover,has used her decades of work experience
co help struggling salon owners turn their businesses aroundall the while running her own salon, Industrie Hair Gurus, in
Ridgewood, N.J., and seeing clients at the Warren-Tricomi salon
in West Hollywood.
You've both given a little more visibility to lesbians in the
a· s l"ng. d s •
Dee:I didn't know that Tabatha was gay. I had no clue. She never
mentioned it throughout any of the shows, so it was a shocker to
me as well.
A , I 1ee mor esbian .h n 1e o d + in ·n he 'ndustry'l
Tabatha:I think there are more gay women in every industry than anyone would imagine. It's
something I never really thought about, because it's who I am.
Dee:Maybe after Sally Hershberger also has been out and has been an influential hairdresser, maybe that's kind of encouraging young hairdressers, young lesbian women coming into the industry.
Did you eve1 question wl-t ther to be o t on the ob or not?
Dee:No, I am very open and my mother accepts me and chat's all chat matters to me. Anybody
who sics in my chair realizes that it's not about the sexuality or gender. It's just about the passion
chat I have for what I do.
Tabatha:It's never been a question for me. You know, I'm a
gay woman. I'm a hairdresser. It's just all part and parcel.
It's who I am, so, to me, I'm out, I'm open. I guess you like
it or you don't like it depending on what your stance is.
But I don't think that me being gay affects my hairdressing
ability, obviously, and me being a hairdresser doesn't affect
me being a gay woman. I chink it's the level of people's
comfort.
·r
s cutting
Dee:Oh, cutting hair has changed my life tremendously. I
now love what I do. It has been able to provide for me and
my family, my mother, help her to pay her rent. Simple
things like that. But it also has helped me to travel and see things, just because once you love
what you do, you don't work a day in your life and you get rewarded for it. I live a much happier
life because I'm fulfilled with what I do.
Tabatha:I'm really lucky. I've been hairdressing now for 26 years and every morning when I get
up and go to work I absolutely love what I do, and not many people can say chat. We all have bad
days and that's OK, that's part oflife, but I have never grown bored of it. It still gives me a thrill. I
still love it when the client is really happy and walks out feeling great, looking beautiful and loves
what I've done, and that has never ever gone away. And the fact that I've been lucky enough to
be able to travel all over the world, work with other people in my profession and even now, you
know, showcase hairdressers as a true profession on television means a lot to me.
b an n , a le b n e he
nq a
n
D
Dee:Yeah there is, definitely ... lesbian women come to me because, first of all, I don't have any fear
of going short, of cutting short hair. And we definitely have signature looks as far as, you know,
TV Without the Commercials
TVon DVDis a marvelousthing.It cansaveyoufromwriters'strikes,computerviruses,rainydaysand
reruns.Butwith so manychoicesandso little time,youwill needour handyguideto somelesbofriendlyDVDsets.[AucE CLARKE]
very edgy, trendy looks and bold colors. But
also you have to keep in mind that you have
lesbians that are lipstick lesbians and more
conservative lesbians. And so you also have
to respect their lifestyle as far as how they're
perceived in their job or what they do on a
daily basis. So it all is a reflection of what
their lifestyle is, low maintenance or high
maintenance, and you have both.
c n e pla
s • g hairstylist that I want a femme haircut that still
oo s d ke ?
Dee:[Laughs]Tomboy and sexy!
ha
o d
: se
wers to
isco r bout ou?
Dee:That I'm a hopeless romantic. I guess
s::that would surprise viewers because they
didn't get to see my sensitive side too much.
•~ I definitely was focused and driven and
a:
maybe I had a little hard exterior. But on t he
inside I'm a big softie.
Tabatha:That I'm really, really, really nice.
Anything you want to know about me, I
would pretty much tell you. But I think people look at my honesty and, you know, maybe
look at a little bit of the tough exterior that
I have, because I take what I'm doing very
seriously ... I think people sometimes look at
it as a little bit one-dimensional. So people
would probably be shocked to know that I
grow tomatoes, and I have a great garden,
and I have a fluffy little dog and I can cry at a
Hallmark commercial just like anybody else.
[DIANEANDERSON-MINSHALL]
BadGirls
Plot:Setin a women'sprison;
the onlyinmatesareirritating
bimbosandviolence-prone
lesbians.
Pros:Therelationshipbetween
Nikki(injail for murder)and
Helen(wardenwith a hot
Scottishaccent},the hilarious
duoof the two Julies(Victoria
AlcockandKikaMirylees)and
the manylovableandtouching
momentsbetweenthe inmates.
Cons:Jim Fenner(JackEllis),
in seasonsfourthrougheight.
Thelackof manywarmscenes
betweenNikkiandHelen.They
do havemanygreatscenes,
but on closerinspectionmost
of theminvolveyellingand
moment-ruiners.
Queergirls:NikkiWade
(MandanaJones},the bisexual
HelenStewart(Simone
Lahbib),ShazWylie(Lindsey
Fawcett},DennyBlood(Allyca
Eyo)and more.
House
Plot:A cynicaldiagnosticdoc
with two annoyingguys,anda
stunninglyattractivefemalewho
looksa bit gayon his team.
Pros:Houseis a snarkybastard
whosecommentsare inappropriatelyhilarious.Thirteen(Olivia
Wilde,whoplayedgayon The
OC)is bisexualandCameron
(JenniferMorrison)is hot.That's
shallow,but honestandisn't
Houseall aboutencouraging
peopleto be honest?
Cons:Foreman(OmarEpps).
Theformula:Houseis sure,
he'll be wrong,Foremandisagrees,bloodymesseshappen,
then in a strokeof brilliance,
while doingsomethingtotally
unrelated,Housewill find a
quick,easycure.
Queergirls:Thirteenis bi
and had hot monkeysexthis
season.A few lesbiansare
scatteredamongthe smaller
cases,nothingnoteworthy.
CSI
Plot:Sociallyineptcrime
sceneinvestigators
solve
crimesalmostsingle-handedly
in LasVegas.
Pros:SarahSidle(JorjaFox);
also,someof the episodes
areveryengagingandcan
bringyouto tears.It's great
escapism.
Cons:Don'twatchit while
you'rehavingdinner.
Lesbians:
Therearen'tanyout
gaymaincharacters,butthere
area hostof lesbiansubplots,
a produceranda few of the
writersbatfor teamdyke,and,
well,there'salwaysour No.1
crush:JorjaFox.
Plot:FuturisticcowboyWesternin
space.Yes,thatdoessoundsilly,
butit's awesome.
Pros:It's anotherJossWhedon
show,sothe dialogueis excellent,
the storylinesarecomplicated
buteasyto understand
andthe
femalecharacters
arestrong,
interesting
andin charge.
Cons:It's short.Foxcancelled
it in the middleof seasonone.
Theythenmadeit intoa movie,
Serenity,
butit didn'tmakeupfor
everything
we missed.
Queergirls:lnara(Morena
Baccarin),
the glamorous
prostitute,is bisexual,
as is Kaylee
(JewelStaite).
·e
__g_
Plot:Thelives,lovesandoften
poignantlessonsof the surgical internsat Seattle'sGrace
Hospitalincludingan aborted
lesbianstoryline.
Pros:Nineout of the 13 writers
arewomen.Storylinesinclude
gayparents,XYfemales,
transgenderpatientsandmen
with ovaries.Nearlyeverymain
relationshipis mixed-race.
Cons:Meredith's(Ellen
Pompeo)
voice.lzzie's
(KatherineHeigl)character
seemedpromisingbut is oneof
the show'smainweaknesses.
Queergirls:Clearlywhoever
comesup with the soundtrack:
TeganandSaradominate
seasonsonethroughthree;The
Gossip,MissyHiggins,Kinnie
StarrandButterflyBoucher
areall featured.LeishaHailey
(of L Wordfame)gueststars
in an episodeas a patientwith
necrotizingfasciitis.
Ii
I
rn ·r_
Plot:Buffy'sdestinyis to fight
theforcesof darknesswith her
happy,evil-fightingteam.
Pros:Willow(AlysonHannigan),
Tara(AmberBenson},
the musical episodeandthefirst lesbian
sexsceneon networkTV.
Cons:Theshockingepisode
"SeeingRed,"andthatyoucan't
workoutwhetherto loveor hate
Kennedy
(lyariLimon).Sure,
she'sannoyingbutchancesare,
Willow'snextgirlfriendwouldbe
dislikedby everyoneevenif she
wereperfect.Whynotmakeher
someonewe canenjoybeing
irritatedby?
Lesbians:
Willow,Tara,Kennedy.
January/February
2009
I59
REVIEWSBooks
erful lesbian authors
Undeniable validation and pleasure come from reading stories featuring
lesbian characters or representing a uniquely queer perspective. The following lesbian writers exert true literary power through their distinctive
styles and points of view. They have a way with words, and if they'd like,
they can have their way with us.
0 MichelleTea'sautobiography Valencia threw the door wide open for
her career. The co-founder of Sister Spit has also published stream-ofconsciousness nonfiction, but is surprised by the praise for her fiction. She
says, "I feel like Rose of No Man's Land made a bigger splash because it was
fiction, and people get more impressed when you're making stuff up, rather
than heavily doctoring gossip about your own life:'
makes this list shining a light on the difficult isWoodson
0 Jacqueline
sues that young people face. She attacks seemingly debilitating social issues in her novels, interweaving themes of friendship, family and love. She
has received three Lambda Literary Awards and won the Coretta Scott
King Award for Miracle's Boys-which Spike Lee made into a miniseries.
Breathing life into the places that mainstream literature ignores, Woodson
demonstrates a belief in the transformative power of realistic fiction.
illustrious career started strong with the autobio0 JeanetteWinterson's
graphical coming-out novel Oranges Aren't the Only Fruit. The 15 books
that have followed are showcases of British wit and experimental form.
wrote her critically acclaimed graphic memoir, Fun
8 Before AlisonBechdel
8 For those who have only seen the screen adaptations of SarahWaters' Home, she'd published 11 collections of her syndicated comic strip. "My
Tipping the Velvet and Fingersmith, get thee to a bookstore. The written
form of these historical lesbian tales is far more exciting. And she is garnering
attention from a decidedly mainstream audience. Waters remains optimistic about the growing interest in her thoroughly lesbian novels: "There's
Dykes to Watch Out For self is extremely envious of my Fun Home self,' she
admits. ''I'd gotten resigned to-and kind of bitter about-my failure to get
more recognition as a cartoonist, after all these years. When you've built up
a whole identity around being an outsider, then find yourself in People and
Entertainment Weekly, it's very disorienting. I'm having to adjust my self-concept a lot:' In the works: a 25th anniversary
collection of Dykes to Watch Out For and a new memoir.
0 CarolAnshawcan leg-press 400 pounds (be still, our
always the fear that we're just getting by on 'novelty value; of course-and
you could argue that my books especially, with their period element, are
a rather safe choice for heterosexual readers. But I'd like to think that the
changes we're witnessing here will be more lasting than that:'
first two novels, Tea and A Seahorse Year, both feature
C) StaceyD'Erasmo's
complex gay and lesbian characters that appeal to a wide audience. The former editor of the Village Voice Literary Supplement says, ''I've been well and
widely reviewed, and though there have been some homophobic strains in
the response to my work, they haven't been crushing ... ! do think I've had
to work harder sometimes, and be more patient, than I might have had to
beating hearts), but she makes this list for her powerful
command of language. About her work, starting with the
inventive Aquamarine, Anshaw says, "I hope my lesbian
readers will see some of their own stories in my books. I am trying to paint
them onto a larger canvas, where their sexuality is only one aspect of who
they are. It's like, OK, we all came out and put up the rainbow flag and did
all the hard work of getting here, and now what:"'
0 Scottish writer AliSmithhas dedicated all seven of her books to her longterm partner. Smith's playfully experimental work has only recently started
to get the recognition it deserves stateside, after The Accidental was shortlisted for the prestigious Booker Prize.
addition to writing the classic lesbian coming-of-age novel, Rubyfruit
Jungle, RitaMaeBrownis the author of two mystery series, the Mrs. Murphy
be if I were either closeted or straight:'
books, coauthored by Brown's feline, Sneaky Pie Brown, and the "Sister" Jane
foxhunting mysteries. She notes, "[I'm] totally in love with my pack of foxgraphic portrayals of Southern poverty, family struggles,
Allison's
0 Dorothy
hounds, horses and all the rescue animals. Humans come and go from my
and physical and sexual abuse-most notably in the National Book Award
life, in the romantic sense, because
finalist Bastard Out of Carolina-have made her one of the most recONTHEWEB
sooner or later they realize I really do
ognized out writers in contemporary fiction.
WATROUS]
love animals more:' [ANGELA
Formoreof curve's favoritelesbian
AmyBloom
authors,includingSapphire,
andLindaVillarosagoto curvemag.com.
60 curve
I
In
41!>
Tech Girl REVIEWS
Stem Cells Minus the Controversy
Biotech might be the solution to some of the health problems lesbians face. I By Anna Lonnberg
According to GayHealth.com, lesbians are twice as likely to be overweight or obese than heterosexual
women. This, in addition to higher
rates of smoking and high stress levels, a lack of exercise and decreased
access to healthcare, all put lesbians
at a greater risk for heart disease and
diabetes. Now, however, there may
be a way to prevent and treat these
diseases using revolutionary stem
cell biotechnology.
A team at UCLA successfully
manipulated human skin cells into
induced pluripotent stem cells, or
IPS cells-which
are functionally
and biologically similar to embryonic cells-without
using human
embryos or eggs. The UCLA researcher, professor of biological
chemistry and lead author of this
study, Kathrin Plath, said to UCLA
Newsroom, "Our reprogrammed human skin cells were virtually indistinguishable from human embryonic stem cells ... Our findings are an important
step toward manipulating differentiated human cells to generate an unlimited supply of
patient-specific pluripotent stem cells. We are
very excited about the potential implications:'
Altering adult stem cells, harvested from skin,
into embryonic stem cells could potentially pro-
which can be used to treat Parkinson's disease.
Because stem cell research using human embryos is so controversial, other scientists around
the world have also begun studies using different methods to create stem cells. A team at the
University of Warwick Medical School in the
UK plans to create them by combining human
skin cells with empty pig eggs to create embryos with 99.9 percent human DNA and 0.1
percent pig DNA. Although these embryonic
stem cells will be able to grow into any tissue in
the body, such as human heart cells or beta islet
cells, scientists don't plan to use these for treating humans. Instead, they'll use them to learn
how genetic mutations cause certain cells to
malfunction, leading to life-threatening diseases
likediabetes.
Whatit is: o.d.m.watches,the Singaporeto-Parisfashion-meets-tech
timepieces
vide an endless resource: immune-compatible
cells that fight disease. For example, embryonic
cells can be coaxed into becoming beta islets, the
cells that fight diabetes by making insulin in the
pancreas. They can also be made into hematopoetic cells, which can create a new blood supply
for leukemia patients, and motor neuron cells,
THE PINNACLE OF VIDEO EDITING
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January/February
2009 \ 61
11 Tried It
REVIEWS
Hippies, Herbs and Hornets, Oh My
A city girl finds out just how useful plants can be. I By Aislinn Clevenger
My parents, who couldn't be more different from each other, divorced
when I was 4. My father is a conservative who enjoys the comforts of the
material world, and my mother is a back-to-the-earth eccentric who once
lived in a rainforest coffee shack with no running water or electricity. I'd
like to think that I fall somewhere in the middle. I live in the city because
I enjoy the thrills of the concrete jungle, but I also crave the rejuvenation
found only in nature. So when my mom invited me on a field trip to the
forest with her herbal practitioner class, I accepted.
My mom and I met the other herbal practitioners at an empty campground deep in an Oregon forest. We circled around the instructor, Howie,
a well-regarded herbalist with long, straggly brown hair and a fluffy beard.
Surrounded by Birkenstocks and corduroy, I felt a little out of place in my
low-cut jeans and North Face down jacket, but I shrugged it off. I wasn't
there to try to fit in. I was there to spend time with my mom, get some
fresh air and learn a little bit about herbs.
Across the road from the campground, a field of wildflowers spread
out before us for several acres. I paused before stepping onto the narrow
deer track that ran through the meadow. My white sneakers were about to
become a different color.
About halfway into the field, I glanced
down to look at the sad state of my shoes and
noticed the bright butt of a hornet buzzing
around my legs. I quickened my step in the
hope that the hornet and I just happened to
be crossing paths. But the next thing I knew,
I was completely engulfed. I screamed and
Howie appeared by my side.
"Run!" he yelled. I took off back down the
trail, Howie and his flowing mane bounding
along beside me. Hornets were swarming
around my face; a few were even stuck in my
hair. "Stop!" Howie called out. I did and he
frantically brushed the hornets away with his
hands. "Run!" And off I went again. I yelped
as they stung my face. Howie and I continued our run across the field, and just as we
reached the road, the hornets finally dissipated. I stood staring at Howie;
we were both wide-eyed and breathless. I didn't know whether to laugh or
cry. It was a horrifying experience, but I could only imagine how the two
of us looked, flailing through the meadow.
Howie motioned for the rest of the group to come back to the campground and I sat down at a picnic table.
"This would be a great time to teach you how to treat bee stings;'
Howie said. "There is a small plant called pipsessewa. The leaves are thick
and shiny and have serrated edges.There is a tannic oil in pipsessewa that
neutralizes the bee venom and reduces the irritation. So, let's go pick a few
of these plants and we'll treat Aislinn's stings:'
Soon the group was back from the forest and huddled around me.
"Now, what you do;' Howie stated, putting a leaf in his mouth, "is chew
62 I curve
the leaf up. It's pretty
bitter, but it's worth
it. Then, you take the
pulp and simply put it
on the sting:' And with
that, he plopped a glob
of the mashed leaf on
my face.
My head jerked back
involuntarily. I didn't
know how to react. I
was grateful for the
help, but not thrilled
to have Howie's saliva
of the students was
one
knew,
I
smeared on my face. The next thing
do was try to
could
I
All
plopping a mashed leaf on my face as well.
smile graciously.
Amazingly, the pain of the stings began to subside. I was so grateful
for the relief that I shrugged off my disgust at having dried spit on my
face. From what I could tell, this pipsessewa plant actually worked. I was
quickly learning to have respect not only for the plant, but for everything
the earth provides. You never know what medicinal qualities a plant might
possess. And I won't even begin to speculate on what kind of mysterious
qualities spit might have.
Needless to say, I was very happy to return to the comfort of my home
that night. While the field trip with my mom may not have been a rejuvenating experience, it certainly was an exhilarating one.
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January/February
2009
I 63
Top Ten I ReasonsWe Love Laurie Deane
thing from classical to country-hillbilly, rockabilly and bluegrass:'
5. She's a regularon the women'smusiclineups:She carries her vast repertoire to women's
events and clubs from the San Gabriel Valley
to Southern California's Inland Empire. She
appears at the famed Ice House in Pasadena
and, after her third appearance at Dinah Shore
Week last year, she has a growing following in
Palm Springs.
6. She'sgotstyle:She's got a slender figure, that
long blond mane, a fondness for countrified
accessories and a suitable amount of cleavage. The cover photograph on her new album,
which was taken during a performance last
year in Palm Springs, is enough to make us buy
it. "I look pretty good, huht' she says.
7. She'sout to entertain:Take one look at her
and you know she just wants her fans to have
a good time.
8. Sheknowshowto useher hands:When she's
not cutting albums, she's cutting tile. A licensed
contractor, Deane started a remodeling business
with the intention of hiring worker bees to do
the labor while she hit the road with her music.
But the economic downturn put her back into
the remodeling groove, using skills she picked
up from her father and grandfather.
Two years into medical school, "the music took
me over;' says singer-songwriter Laurie Deane.
"It's just a calling, honey:' This native of Grand
Rapids, Mich., has been following her calling
ever since, and has just released her third CD,
Laurie Deane, Live, a mix of live cover performances, from the titillating "Something to Talk
About" to the anthemic"What the World Needs
Now:'
Deane, who also plays guitar and keyboards,
is a girl after our own hearts. Here's why.
1. She'sa genrecrosser:She's a little bit country,
a little bit rock 'n' roll and a little bit bluegrass,
with a little disco, retro pop and just about every other genre you can think of thrown into the
mix. "Variety is my specialty;' says Deane.
2. She'splayedwith Melissa:She and Etheridge
are contemporaries. They played the same ven64
Icurve
"My motherwas a Southernhillbillyand my father
a Northernaristocrat,"says Deane. "I grew up on
everythingfrom classicalto country-hillbilly,
rockabillyand bluegrass."
ues in California, including Vermie's in Pasadena
and Que Sera and Tee Cee's in Long Beach-all
popular women's clubs in the 1980s and '90s.
3. She'sa countrygirl at heart:"I headed west to
seek my fame and fortune, and I'm still on the
journey;' she says. There's no denying Deane's
country roots. Her first album, Country Window,
is a collection of original songs.
are eclectic:"My mother was
4. Herinspirations
a Southern hillbilly and my father a Northern
aristocrat;' Deane recounts. "I grew up on every-
9. Shewritesgreatsongs:"Somewhere Between
a Rock and a Harder Place;' which is on her first
album, is a song she wrote about the hard times
she's had. Her second album, Christmas, is a mix
of holiday standards and original music.
10. She lovesanimals:If all that isn't enough,
Deane is also a pet rescuer. "I must have a sign
on my forehead, 'Get Lost Here;" she laughs. "I
rescue cats and dogs, fix them and send them
forward:' So she's put those two years of medical
training to good use after all. "I do live a colorful
life;' she says. [LAURIEK. SCHENDEN]
NOVEMBER 8-15
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Frankly Speaking
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
Hunkering Down
After 18 fascnat1ngyears
of documentingyo .Jr
livesand the issues
that are importantto you
wearer t go·ngto le a
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But honestly,we could
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Frances Stevens Publisher & Founder
It's been a tough few months with not just talk of a bad economy but everyone-lesbians, too-being
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With ad sales dropping, especially in gay~friendly industries, and lesbians sometimes having
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Honestly, though, we could really use your help. It's super important to support the lesbian~
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While every publisher has been hit hard, the Conde Nast and Time Inc. mags can
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2 j curve
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32
41 curve
Skiing vs. Pride? Hit the slopes in Utah's gayfriendliest spots. Or do Pride, Aussie-style, at
Midsumma. By Kristin A. Smith and Alice Clarke
Cover: Farewell to The L Word For six years
the women of Showtime's hit series have proven
lesbian life isn't all about flannel shirts and granola.
By Rachel Shatto
Volume 19#1
The Se I sue
4
On the Down Low Why some black lesbians
find it hard to come out to their families and
communities. By Alison Peters
4
Call Me Erica Black's new book reveals her life
as a lesbian call girl. By Erin Siegal
4
La Femme Madison Feminist porn star, director and gallery owner Madison Young gets
kinky. Plus, we've got some of her hottest work
covered. By Courtney Trouble
3
Who the Heck Is Ann Bannon? Only the foremost lesbian pulp fiction writer. By Cheryl Craig
3
Sexy People Read And we've got the 10 most
underrated books every baby dyke should get.
By Kathleen Bryson
4
Bad Girls This curious lesbian finds out
what life is like as a John (er, Jane). By Alison
Steinberg
4
A Word From a Lesbro Renowned author Marc
Acito explains why he loves lesbians.
48
Electrocabaret
Fantasy
Playboy
The
music star Dahlia Schweitzer parties with the
Bunnies.
4
How NOT to Come Out The seven things you
should avoid when joining the rainbow. And, the
hottest albums every lesbian should own. By Gillian
Kendall and Aimsel L. Ponti
4
Tristan Taormino Steps Out gives us tips
on open relationships (hint: It's not the same as
cheating). By Stephanie Schroeder
42
Going Beyond Desert Hearts Coming out?
Time to rent these classics. By Robin Miner-Swartz
43
How to Stay Friends With Your Ex The lesbian
phenomenon demystified. By Jen Berkowitz
50
Alison Pill Rules in Milk Alison Pill and Anne
Kronenberg take us behind the scenes of the
Harvey Milk biopic. By Melany Walters-Beck
Departments
January/February 2009
"Thecheaterdoesnt
want to tellyou
anythingbecause
shewantsyouon
reserve,justincase
she is makinga
mistake.Andyou
don'tpushtoo hard
becauseyou don't
want herto go
Thisstagelastsanywherefroma week
to a decade.'
2
Frankly Speaking Just what's on our
publisher's mind?
8
Letters The great cover debate rages
on, and Marlee Matlin sets the record
straight.
19 Lesbofile Ellen DeGeneres, Lindsay
Lohan, Megan Fox, Condi Rice and Lynne
Cheney all get face time.
20
Lipstick & Dipstick I'm married to a guy
and pregnant with his baby. What to do?
10 Contributors All about our writers.
22
Astro Grrl Will the New Year bring new
luck? Find out.
11 Scene On set with JD Disalvatore, the L
Word girls and the Point Foundation. Plus,
pix from around lesboland.
23
Relationships
safer sex.
14 Out in Front Leaders in women's sports,
Bulgaria and corporate America.
24
Ask Fairy Butch The classic question:
how to deal with lesbian bed death?
15 Curvatures Curvettes judge the best
sports drinks, subvert labels and meet a
different kind of animal lover.
24
Health Ever considered colonic hydrotherapy? Plus, a scale that makes you
want to weigh yourself.
18 Open Studio Jewelry straight out of the
Mists of Avalon.
26
Is Your Girlfriend a Cheater? We have
some advice for you.
6
I curve
28
Politics Brownworth asks why lesbians
aren't getting any.
52
Music Watch Natalie Stewart and company keep it flowing. And, emo queer
cult hit Amanda Palmer on
sexuality.
55
In the Stacks Get introspective for the
New Year, like Masha Gessen's Blood
Matters. And S. Bear Bergman talks butch.
66
Sapphic Screen Be a little naughty with
films like Drifting Flowers. And, Bravo's
Tabatha Coffey and Dee Adames talk hair.
57
Tech Girl What the biotech revolution
means for you.
64
Top Ten Reasons We Love Laurie
Deane A boot scootin' girl after our own
country hearts.
Bad personal ads and
Letters
"America'sFunniest"was definitelythe better
cover.Also,you guysdo an amazingjob. We
lovecurve... Australiadoesn'thavea magazine of thiscaliber,so thanksfor sharing
yourswith us down under."
ARE YOU
SATISFIED WITH
YOUR SEX LIFE?
I mayas well bea nun
(CallmeSisterChastity)
26%
+
I wanted to tell you how much I just love the
Hellyes!(Canyousay cover this month-the
one with Suzanne [Vol.
"mind-blowing?") 18 #9]. It's glorious! I love the people on it, and
the photo is fucking fantastic!
22%
- JD Disalvatore,Los Angeles
Whatsexlife?
(I'mjust too busy
to get busy) You made a mistake. Nikki Weiss and Candis
Cayne should have been featured on the cover
7% of curve magazine [Vol. 18 #9], instead of
It's gettingbetter America's Funniest Lesbians.
(Mynewgirl's
- Jayse Cunningham, West Hollywood, Calif.
a quicklearner)
"America's Funniest" was definitely the better cover [Vol. 18
#9]. Also, you guys do an amazing job. We love curve. My
Ho-hum
partner and I both run for the mailbox when the posty comes
(Wedrawstraws
to deliver curve to us each month and then we jokingly fight
to seewhogets
over first rites. Australia doesn't have a magazine of this calito be onthe bottom)
ber, so thanks for sharing yours with us down under.
5%
5%
I'm proudto bea player
(Shaneis my homegirl)
- Jen Cuzzu and Leigh (Mac) McKenzie, Ambrose,
Queensland, Australia
*According
to a Just wanted to tell you that I love Rachel Shatto's "Why You
curvemag.com
poll Should Be Watching" article on curvemag.com. She is witty
and the writing is top-notch. I hope she continues bringing
us reasons why we should watch TV (or HBO). The website
looks great lately. Keep up the great work.
- ColleenM. Lee, San Francisco
I received word today that my novel Letters in theAttic had been
reviewed by Mary Foulk in the November issue of curve
magazine [Vol. 18 #9]. Needless to say, I was thrilled!
Letters is especially dear to my heart because I wrote it as
a labor of love and also an apology to my daughter for being
less than kind when she came out to our family. I'd always
thought of myself as a broad-minded person. In this case,
s I curve
I was broad-minded as long as it was
somebody else's daughter. We had a few
terrible months before I smartened up
and decided that I was going to have to
change or I would lose my daughter.
I went to a psychologist who told
me about PFLAG. When I called the
number, a man answered the phone. I
gave him my name and poured out my
whole tearful, blubbering story. When
I finished, he said, "Lady, this is the
Veterans Administration!" I had taken
the first step toward recovery. I had told
someone and the world didn't come to an end. The people of
PFLAG took me under their wing and worked their magic.
Now my daughter and I are closer than ever.
And, miracle of miracles, the book up and won a Lambda
Literary Award. Letters was published when I was 60. (I
taught second grade for 33 years, retired and decided to
become a writer.) Funny how life leads you in the right direction. And if you want things to turn out the way they're supposed to, you just follow. Thanks so much for including my
book in curve. I appreciate your kindness.
- Bonnie Shimko, Plattsburgh,N.Y.
I want to thank you so much for your article clarifying the
appearance of"fur" on your cover in October [Vol. 18 #8]. I
am a vegetarian and an animal-lover, and I appreciate a mainstream magazine like yours taking such an awesome stand
on issues like these. It lets me know I made the right choice
at the newsstand when I read things such as this, advocating
groups such as PETA and furisdead.com. If there were more
magazines out there like yours, the world would be a better
place. Thanks again.
- Jennifer Myrick, Acworth, Ga.
I just want to thank you for your article letting people know
th
wl
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1n
tir
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check out our new look
at curvemag.com
that Mia Kirshner was not wearing real fur
when she posed for your October cover photo
[Vol. 18 #8]. I hope your remarks about the cru,
elty inflicted on defenseless animals in the fur
industry get through to some people.
I guess that is always the risk you run in put,
ting faux fur pies in magazines, or even wearing
it for that matter. Some people believe it is real
fur, so they think you are condoning the wear,
ing of real fur and it encourages them to do
so. That does hurt the anti,fur cause and runs
totally against what you are trying to accom,
plish. Perhaps if you put a tag line somewhere
with any photos of faux fur saying "cruelty,free
faux fur" that would help. The last thing you
want to do is promote the wearing of fur. Pam
Anderson's boots that say "Faux" up the sides of
MADABOUT
MARUE
can·t.....,allOOd--,_
•
• ByOano..,__
..,._
.,.. .. ____
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Noone
them are perfect. They let people know that the
fur isn't real and they also promote the anti,fur
message.
Thanks again for your compassion and your
policy against publishing photos of people wear,
ing fur.
- Brenda Grant, Toronto, Canada
?
Email letters@curvemag.com; write to CURVE
Letters, 1550 Bryant St., Ste. 510, San Francisco,
CA 94103; fax to 415,863,1609. Please include
your name, city and state. Letters may be edited
for clarity and length.
On the November"Scene" page [Vol. 18 #9], we
should have written that Delicio Del Toro was
the first runner,up in the Solo King category,
not the Troupe category. The photo caption to
"Hot in Hollywood" [Vol. 18 #10] should have
read 'i\.merica Ferrera:'
.....,
tomg-
----.......
Setting the
Record Straight
The ravishing L Word actor Marlee
Matlin, who was one of curve's
2008 Entertainers of the Year [Vol.
18 #9], wants to set the record
straight. In her exclusive interview,
she dishes on how playing a gay
character has affected how she
looks at sexuality, and she wants to
be sure that what she said was not
misconstrued. "In the interview, it
appears that I believe being gay is
a choice. That is absolutely not my
belief," Matlin wrote to us.
"Specifically, when I was responding to the question, I was
thinking of marriage choice and the
upcoming amendments around the
country to ban gay marriage. With
that weighing heavily on my mind, I
got lost in my words-or signs-and
instead was responding to the crazy
evangelicals who try to justify their
efforts to ban gay marriage by using
the silly proposition that being gay
is a choice.
"What I intended to say in the article, and what I've said many times
publicly, is that all of us deserve
respect and love, no matter who
we are or who we choose to love
or marry. No one should ever take
that away."
January/February 2009
I9
Contributors
"In or out, we all crave relatable characters and stories. I do a little victory dance every time I run across a movie that really speaks to me:' says
who's been reviewing movies for
contributing writer RobinMiner-Swartz,
the Lansing State Journal in Michigan for more than a decade and wrote
"Beyond Desert Hearts: 10 Films to Rent When You Come Out" (page
41). Miner-Swartz and her partner, Betsy, had their 'comrnitzvah" in
June, and are rabid Michigan State University women's basketball fansMiner-Swartz writes about the team for the Lansing State Journaf s blog
Bleeding Green.
Editor's Note
I've had five wedding ceremoniesall to the same person. Each time
a new law made some legal hurdle
easier,we were there. First, in West
Hollywood,as the country'sfirst domestic partnershipregistryopened
up in the '80s. In 2004, we had our
fourth ceremonyin San Francisco
along with hundredsof other gays
and lesbianswho flocked to City Hall
when Mayor Gavin Newsom defied
Californialaw to marry same-sex
couples. I was a same-sex marriage supporterlong before many
advocates.
So, it was with a heavy heart that
I watched Proposition8 pass at the
polls in November,effectivelybanning same-sex marriagein California
and throwingthousandsof couples
into legal limbo.
In the days since the election,
queers have filled the streetsto
protestand celebs like Wanda Sykes
have come out of the closet to put
a face on this crucialcivil rights
issue.So you might wonder why,
when some activistshave called for
a boycott of Utah, I didn't pull our
travel article on skiingin the state.
Easy: BoycottingUtah'stourismonly
hurtsthe areas most supportiveof
queers, like super gay-friendlyPark
City (home to Queer Loungeand
Sundance)and Salt Lake City (a
town teeming with activistqueers).
I'd rather penalizethose who voted
against us, not our supporters.What
would you do?
Diane Anderson-Minshall
101curve
''As a nancy boy who grew up with a lisp so pronounced I sounded
like a leaky tire, I couldn't relate to tomboys," admits best-selling
author Marc Acito,whose comic novel, How I Paid for College, won
the Ken Kesey Award and contains a lesbian twist. "But as I became
an adult, I realized it was the dykes who really made things happen
in our community. So, when a disparaging article appeared on a leading LGBT website, I knew I had to defend my Sapphic sisters from
such sissy slander:' With his article "Why I Heart Lesbians" (page 40),
Acito does just that. His commentaries regularly appear on NPR's All
Things Considered. His latest book, Attack of the Theater People, is in
bookstores now.
"Yes, it's going to suck. It may take serious work, but becoming friends
with your ex can be attempted if ~ou really, reall'., re~lly want it;' writes contributing writer Jen Berkowitzabout befnendmg an old flame.
Berkowitz's ex, Leila, deserves to be thanked formally for inspiring
"How to Stay Friends with Your Ex" (page 43). Berkowitz also wishes
to thank her other exes, who have taught her all about being, and not
being, friends. When she is not giving shout-outs, Berkowitz is living
in New York, Los Angeles, and New Mexico, writing, producing TV
and taking pictures.
"Maybe I've always secretly wanted to be tall, blonde and tant wonders
DahliaSchweitzer,
trying to explain her fascination with Playboy. It was
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity when she managed to get an invite to
an exclusive party at the mansion, which she writes about in "Waiting
for Hefner" (page 48), even if it ended up being more informative than
scandalous. Schweitzer has spent most of her life in New York and Tel
Aviv, where she has lived, loved and worked as a writer, artist and photographer. But it was in Berlin where she found fame, transforming
herself into a singing, dancing, strip-teasing queen of electrocabaret.
Schweitzer is the author of Seduce Me, a collection of erotic short stories. She lives in Los Angeles where she teaches writing.
,..
Movie producer JD Disalvatore took a bevy of Hollywood hotties to shoot a PSA for The Point
Foundation including 1 L Word stars Rose Rollins and Clementine Ford, Loving Annabelle dir~
ector Katherine Brooks and star Erin Kelly 2 Work Out's Jackie Warner and Rebecca Cardon
3 Point scholars 4 Disalvatore and South of Nowhere's Gabrielle Christian 5 Keara Watkins 6
Crew members 7 Dante's Cove star Thea Gill 8 Brooks and Kelly 9 Girls on set
January/February
2009 \ 11
FAMILY
EQUALIT
COUNCIL
1 Kristin Ebeling (wearing a hat) from Skate Like a Girl gets love from Portland,
Ore:s queer burlesque troupe, Bang Bang Betty's Big Beautiful Bombshells 2 Cynthia
Nixon (right) and Family Equality Council's executive director, Jennifer Chrisler, at the
organization's annual dinner 3 The Vagilantes, a new queer hip hop/ sexelectronic all lady trio,
(from left) Lisa Ganser, Maxi Vagilance and Taffi Vagilance, are regulars at Flaming Cabaret
in Minneapolis 4 Work Out's Briana Stockton (left), comic Suzanne Westenhoefer and The
L Word's Elizabeth Keener at the POWER UP Awards Gala in Los Angeles 5 Mary J.Blige
performs at a No on Proposition 8 fund-raiser in front of hundreds of supporters in Los
Angeles 6 Emily Croclet (right) winner of the curve-Estrojam subscribe-to-win contest,
which included airfare and tickets to the festival 7 2008 SAGE awardee Martina Navratilova
(right) arrives at the 30th Anniversary Gala with funny lady Kate Clinton
gO
By the time she was 10 years old, Shelly
says she had learned some major
Boyum-Breen
life lessons-all from participating in sports.
"I learned early on how to lose-how to
fall down and, more importantly, get back up;'
she recalls. "I learned how to lead and how
to follow. I learned about ... pushing myself
beyond limits I thought were possible:'
Two years ago, after three years in management positions with the Minnesota Lynx,
Boyum-Breen took that love of sports to the
next level, helping found Foundation IX, a
volunteer-based fundraising organization
that helps girls participate in sports and fitness activities. They award grants to girls who
want to take part in sports, but cannot afford
the cost of equipment and entry fees.
Since 2007 the group has awarded grants
totaling about $20,000 to more than 80 girls,
who participate in everything from volleyball
to tae kwon do. Although General Mills and
the Minneapolis Foundation have supplied
some corporate funding, most donations
come from individuals. Boyum-Breen says it's
all about giving back, because people know
what a positive experience playing sports has
been in their own lives.
Improving access to participation in sports is
not all Boyum-Breen advocates."It is extremely
important that we not only continue to support girls and women in sports but to continue
to advocate as men and women to strive for
equality in every facet of life;' she says.
14
I curve
She was nicknamed "Soldier" long ago, when
she dreamed of following her grandfather into
has taken up
Petrova
the military. But Desislava
a whole different fight.
"I did become a soldier, but in a different
way;' says Petrova. "I became a frontline soldier
in the battle for the same happiness, the same
sorrows and the equal life opportunities for the
LGBTQ community:'
Born in post-Communist Bulgaria 28 years
ago, Petrova was subjected early on to harassment and beatings for being out. She recalls her
uncle trying to kill her with a knife, screaming
at her, "You are debauching my daughters!"
Petrova took to the streets, warrior-style.
She helped to found Gemini, the only LGBT
rights-based NGO in Bulgaria. As chairperson of the group, she was responsible for
its overall management and she successfully
implemented over 30 national and international projects.
"We've helped LGBT people to find their
way in the hetero-normative, patriarchal world
by talking to worried parents and children that
have been kicked out of their homes, holding
the hands of victims of violence and encouraging them to seek justice, and making the LGBT
community visible and active;' she says.
Today, she and her partner live in Spain.
The consummate activist, she recently joined
the European Voluntary Service of Youth in
Action. There, she is part of a team working
to promote respect and diversity, visiting and
collaborating with other NGOs, high schools,
town halls, public libraries, prisons and social
community centers.
"My home is everywhere I go, but my
native land is one, Bulgaria, and I love it;' says
Petrova. "So sooner or later I'll be back:'
Co o
Everyone wants to make a difference, says
The question is how.
ChrisCrespo.
"You don't have to solve world hunger
to make a difference;' says Crespo, LGBTA
Inclusiveness Strategy director at the accounting giant Ernst & Young. "Sometimes you
just need to ask a question that no one else
has asked yet:' Clearly, she's been asking the
right questions.
In 2003 Crespo helped found the Beyond
Network, E&Y's affinity group for LGBT
people and allies. Under her leadership, E&Y
was the first Big Four accountancy and professional service firm to score a 100 percent
rating on the HRC's Corporate Equality
Index, and the only Big Four to include
LGBT business owners in its supplier diversity program. Today, she is one of only a few
American business leaders focused full-time
on LGBT issues.
She says that fear and ignorance are to
blame for anti-gay legislation. In the workplace,
she says, the LGBT community has normalized the issue by showing that it's a group of
successful contributors who deserve respect.
"When given respect and equal access to
care for our families and career opportunities,
we pay it back with productivity and loyalty
that extends everyone's engagement through
inclusion;' says Crespo. 'J\nd then our reach
multiplies:'
Crespo lives outside Pittsburgh with her
partner of 24 years, Jane, where they are raising their 10-year-old triplets. She says some
of her best coming out experiences occur because of their children.
"Kids are great examples for all of us. They
don't care about differences; they just want to
be friends with the kids they play with:'
Curvatures
THE RUN DOWN
TheFBIreporteda 1 percent
decreaseoverallin hate
crimesin 2007.Therewere
decreasesin crimesagainst
raceandreligion,but there
wasa 6 percentincrease
in casesof prejudiceagainst
sexualorientation.
e
e
Thefour finalistcitiesout of
14 biddersto hostthe 2014
GayGamesare Miami,
Washington,
D.C.,Cleveland
and Boston.Thehostcity will
be selectedin October2009
bythe Federation
of Gay
GamesAssemblyat its annual
meetingin Cologne,Germany,
wherethe 2010gameswill
be held.
Scientistsestimatethat the
AIDSvirusdatesbackto
sometimebetween1884and
1924.Andstudiesshowthat
the time coincideswith the
riseanddevelopment
of cities
in Africa,whichmayhave
helpedthe spreadof the virus
throughoutthe population.
e
0
e,
f
e
y
TheGayandLesbian
MedicalAssociation's
online providerdirectoryis now
linkedto Aetna's.Thissearch
tool givesgaysandlesbians
the freedomto find a healthcareproviderwho openly
welcomesLGBTpatients.
TheLGBTCommunityCenter
in NewYorkCitycelebrated
its 11thWomen'sEventand
25thanniversary
with a salute
to the sixthandfinal season
of TheL Word.Proceeds
fromthe dinnerandcocktail
partybenefitedan arrayof
programs,servicesandactivities organizedby the Center.
[FERNANDA
SILVA]
The Test Lab
Under the weatherr Got a killer hangover? Need a pick-me-up?
Curve staffers sample a few of the supplemental drinks on the market.
IG
HANSEN'S
NATURAL
PRIMALENERGY
TEA
OLALOAEFFERVESCENT NUUNACTIVE
VITAMINDRINK
HYDRATION
TABLETS
Sugar-Free
Pomegranate
GreenTea:Theinitialtaste
wasveryheavyanddark.It
hada syrupyconsistency.
I immediately
sensedthe
sugar-free
taste-no
resemblance
to pomegranatesat all. Butaftera few
sips,thetastebecame
lighter-actuallydelicious.
I waitedfor the effectsof
the energydrink,andI felt
themwithin1Ominutes.
Ahhhh,nowI'm zinging
andreadyto go dancing...
hmmm... shouldI drink
more?
Cran-Raspberry:
Thispink
powderinstantlyfoams,
leavinga pinkswamp
andbubblymasses.
The
textureis flat, butthe
bright,smoothtasteof
raspberrycompensates.
Withina few minutesI
thoughtI felt myeyesmoving quickly,my headache
clearing,my bodyfeeling
a little perkyandmy brain
semi-pleasantly
awake.But
nah,it's no differentfrom
otherenergyC-types-just
flatter.
Tri-Berry:
Wasbubblyand
faint in flavor.I dropped
two tabletsto getthefull
affect,buttherewasno
realsweetness-onlya
semi-pleasant
taste.After
drinkingit, I did notfeel
anyeffects,nordid I work
outafterward,so I wasn't
ableto measureanynoticeablehydration.I would
drinkit again-prior to a
workoutor afterdrinking
largeamountsof alcohol.
AmazonCitrusGreenTea:
Zing!A satisfyingpopof
thetop yieldsa not-toosweet,fizzybeverage
with
a refreshingcitrustang.
Notlikeanygreentea
I'veeverhad,but notbad.
Withginseng,vitaminsand
EGCG-whatever
that is-I
thinkI feel it tappinginto
my primalenergyalready.
Sport-MangoTangerine:
Thisreallydoestastelike
mangosandtangerines.
Of
all the powdereddrinksI've
had,it's the closestto real
juice.Nottoosweet,with
hintsof acidity.Lingers
nicelyonthe palate[swish,
swish,spit].Topmarksfor
this one.
OrangeGinger:I was
expectinga zestycitrus
freshness,
butwhatI got
wasmorelikeTangmixed
withAlka-Seltzer.
The
pharma-shaped
bottle
saysit's sugar-free,
but
Nuunhaspackedloads
of sweetnessintothese
strangetablets-definitely
notmy ideaof a refreshing
thirstquencher.
Pomegranate
GreenTea:
Notsurehowthis drink
getsawaywith being
labelednaturalwhenit has
manyof the sameingredientsasothercarbonated
energydrinks,butwhat
the hell!It's a sweetdrink
with lotsof kick (andplenty
of caffeine,ginsengandB
vitamins).Perfectfor latenightstudying.
Sport-Lemon-Lime:
Finally,a vitaminC drink
that doesn'ttastelike
powder.Thiscitrus-flavored
drinkwill hydrateyouwith
plentyof vitaminsfor an
energyboost.Greatfor
fightingoff colds.
KonaCola:Beingthe
coffeeaddictthat I am,
I wassureI wouldlove
NuunKonaCola.Alas,it
smelled-and tastedlikeflat cola.Notmycup
of tea,Or,in this case,
notmycupof electrolytereplacingactivewater.
Sure,bottledwateris
cool.It's chic.Models
drinkit.Thebrandyou
drinkis a statussymbol.
Butthefinancialand
environmental
costsare
devastating.
In 2007,
Americans
spentmore
than$15billionon
bottlesof water,mostof
whichendedup in landfills. Manycompanies
haveattempteda sexy
alternative
to the wasteful plasticbottle.Sigg
hasactuallysucceeded.
Its lightweightmetal
waterbottlesaresleek,
feelgreaton yourlips
andhaveno lingering
tasteor odor.Theycome
in a plethoraof sizes,
colorsanddesigns,so
pickonethat suitsyou
andsavea few bucks
in the longrun.($17
andup,mysigg.com)
[KRISTINA. SMITH]
January/February
2009
I 15
Curvatures
02
A Different Kind of Animal Love1N
Tia Resleure's apartment is filled with ani,
mals. There are dogs, pigeons, monkeys and
goats, and a dray of squirrels on the table.
Two slight Italian greyhounds dance around
the house, while another is mounted on the
wall. "I don't have a problem decorating my
0 house with taxidermy; I think it's beautiful;'
IF O H
E says Resleure, who sits on a chaise lounge,
U
GI
T stroking a dog's ear.
TH G
OULD IT BE?
Resleure has an extensive collection of
Victorian and Edwardian taxidermy, as
50% well as an expanding portfolio of her own
Mychocolate work (acaseofcuriosities.com). The entry,
way to her San Francisco apartment holds
30% one of Resleure's "diva,pigeons;' a series she
MyTV is working on. The white pigeon, with its
cocked head and downward gaze, is in stark
7% contrast to the blue silk gown that envelops
Mygirlfriend
it. "Taxidermy, for me, is like playing with
dolls;' she says.
From the traditional taxidermists who
Mycar
mount their husbands' hunting trophies in the basement, to
6% the artsy kids who tattoo animal hides in studios, taxidermy
Mycomputer is gaining popularity among women. "It's going through a real
renaissance right now;' says Resleure."There are a lot of young
7%
to a pups coming up in the art world:'
*According
poll
curvemag.com
One of these young pups is a San Francisco artist
named Maya Bookbinder, whose day job is actually bind,
ing books. She began to love taxidermy in the nature lab
at Rhode Island School of Design. "I was doing taxidermy
repair work and then I just got kind of obsessed;' says the
23,year,old.
Eventually, Bookbinder came to San Francisco to study
with Resleure. Under Resleure's instruction, she learned to
work with Italian greyhounds. "Italian greyhounds are so
hard to do, because you can see everything;' says Resleure,
pointing to the thin,faced dog on the wall. As if to reinforce
the point, one of her Italian greyhounds walks by, shaking its
veiny legs.
living and
Resleure has a fondness for animals-both
dead. ''A lot of people have said that I'm insensitive to ani,
mals, but I love them;' she says. It was Resleure's connection
to animals that brought her to taxidermy in the first place.
Growing up in a dysfunctional home, she turned to animals
to escape the world of abuse. "The dogs were the only people
who listened to me;' she says, laughing. The one connection
her family shared was their love of nature-her parents loved
natural history and her grandfather had a taxidermy collec,
tion. Resleure says that as a child her favorite book was the
Big GoldenBook of Fairytales,which centers on anthropomor,
phic characters. "That's sort of what my collection feels like;'
16 I curve
she says, gesturing at the diorama of sword,fighting frogs in
pirate shirts.
Resleure returns to Aissi, the Italian greyhound mounted
on the wall-it was her first greyhound mount and a pet she
loved dearly. She stares at the face and says, "You can't put the
dog's spirit in it ... I look at this and I see a beautiful animal,
but I don't see my dog:'
Resleure usually doesn't do mounts of other people's pets,
and she doesn't use any endangered species. "I think about
the ethics of what I do a lot;' she says. But Resleure, like many
taxidermists, has come under sharp attack from animal rights
activists. "They say that I'm going to burn in hell;' she says,
adding that their posters of animals are more gruesome than
anything she has mounted.
Bookbinder also contemplates the morals of her work.
A vegan for some time, she understands people's aversion to
dead animals, but says she '1ust (doesn't] have the baggage
about it that some people do:'
Neither Resleure nor Bookbinder are hunters so they get
their animals in other ways-they are roadkill, donations,
purchases or pets that have died. "People used to bring road,
kill to my door. It's really just recycling;' says Bookbinder. But
her San Francisco apartment is too small for her to stuff big
animals; she mostly works with pelts now.
Resleure and Bookbinder both have big dreams for
their taxidermy careers. ''I'd love to learn to do birds;' says
Bookbinder excitedly. Resleure dreams of opening a bar to
house her taxidermy, ''I'd like to do the best Italian grey,
hound mount in the world, better than the one in the British
Museum:' [KRISTINA. SMITH]
1
1
Subverting Labels
Labels Are For Jars is a volunteer-run campaign that works
to raise money for the operation of the Cor Unum Meal
Center, a not-for-profit organization that feeds the hungry
in Lawrence, Mass. The city is in such an economic crisis
that 33.1 percent of its population lives below the poverty
line. Labels Are For Jars fights hunger and injustice by selling T-shirts with negative labels, like "addict;' on the front
and the slogan "Labels Are For Jars" across the back. The
campaign gives all the proceeds from its sales to the Cor
Unum Meal Center in the hope of removing the "hungry"
label in two ways.
Its mission is clear, as its website states: "We want to
remove the societal label. In Lawrence, which is the poorest
city in the state, most of the people who are hungry are lowincome families with children and are the working poor. Too
often, their choice is between paying rent and buying food:'
The sale of the T-shirts, via the web store and direct sales, by
community-organized street teams and in Newbury Comics
retail stores, is an effort to counter the effects of poverty.
According to the organization, once a label is used in a
negative way, the people to whom it is applied are no longer
perceived as a human beings deserving of individual recognition, respect and assistance. Terms such as "geek;' "pacifist;'
'Jock," "slacker" and "homeless" across the front of the T-shirts
attempt to defy the social stigma they carry. For example, one
out of every 32 adults is either incarcerated, on probation or
on parole. That, according to the organization, is a lot of people
to put the "prisoner" label on. Even the acclaimed fashion designer John Varvatos is in on the action, with an exclusive 100
percent merino black wool cap with "hungry" on the front and
the Labels Are For Jars and John Varvatos logos on the back.
All shirts are packed in a plastic jar labeled with a suggestion:
Fill it with donations and ship it back to the campaign. Dogooders can also start their own street teams and raise money
and awareness. [COLLEEN
MCCAFFREY]
"It was kind of controversial because I played a character who was gay. People were like, 'You gonna
kiss a girl? In a movie?' People were against it, but
I knew I could do something special with that role."
>> _.._
..~,-·
ban robber Cleopatra m n et I Off
"I think part of the reason there are so many gay female
comedians is because gay women are used to
subverting gender expectations on them. Speaking your mind is considered a male quality, and in
stand-up you have to speak your mind."
y
agaz ne
I've come into my own since then and I feel much more
comfortable with myself. And I've been closer to
my parents since coming out than any other time, I
think." >
en
re
Gov Deva Patrick and Dian
"I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a
girl-Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to
strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She's
mesmerizing.">>
X
January/February
2009
I 17
Helen Stewart
is whether to choose silver or gold, but, for fashionistas, the choice
For most, the hardest part in deciding what kind of jewelry to wear
a Malibu, Calif.-based jewelry maker that designs sexy, earthy
is always both. Helen Stewart, creative director of Jewels of Avallon,
tion pieces she designs are wearable art-a tribute to modern day
jewelry for today's bohemians, understands this. The unique conversa
goddesses, fairies and mermaids.
ating semiprecious stones, real leaves, coral, sand dollars,
Each piece is electro-formed in sterling silver or 24-karat gold, incorpor
with glittering gold dust. Others have iridescent stones and shimsea horses and starfish. Some pieces look as if they were dusted
mering crystals.
can be cuseach piece is handmade-one-of-a-kind-and
With colors that invoke the most beautiful oceans, forests and gardens,
your
l,'Follow
which is one of my favorite quotes by Joseph Campbel
tomized to the client's specifications."! always try to follow my bliss,
two
Avallon
of
Stewart, who is a mother of three. She started Jewels
bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before;" says
designer.
years ago, after finishing an apprenticeship with a clothing and jewelry
with the beach as her backyard Stewart recalls her inspiration
Malibu,
in
Growing up
nes and seaweed
to start her own line, "I loved making necklaces with sea shells, moonsto
along with her
for string, and pretending that I was a mermaid:' This childhood fantasy,
of Avalon, written
favorite book, became a strong influence for her collection. The Mists
Arthurian legend
the
explores
Bradley,
Zimmer
Marion
author
by lesbian fantasy fiction
says, "the ideas
Stewart
Avalon,
of
women
the
by
ed
Captivat
ve.
from a woman's perspecti
flow:'
to create the pieces just
She wears a few
Stewart's cousin, The L Word star, Daniela Sea, is a big fan of her work.
"People always
them.
got
she
where
her
ask
always
people
custom pieces all the time and says
of mine;' says
friends
artist
to
stylists
from
are,
they
comment on how amazing and unique
Her work
world.
the
through
move
I
as
talisman
Sea. "Her pieces act as a kind of magic
truly inspires me:'
traveled around
As a trained Shaman who works with healing stones, Stewart has
stones blessed
and
shells
gems,
selecting
the world to South America, Egypt and Europe
Hudson also
Kate
growingis
od
Hollywo
with healing powers. While Stewart's fame in
and posline
jewelry
men's
a
include
n
future plans for expansio
wears her jewelry-her
sibly wedding commitment rings.
1slcurve
e
of e Curvatures
Is It Only Skin Deep?
Check out who's getting facetime.
I
This month: Sex, gossip and politics-everything your momma told you not to talk about in
public.
The ads haven't run yet, but if you've heard the
rumors, it's true: EllenDeGeneres
is the next face
of Cover Girl cosmetics. Move over, Queen
Latifah.
Here's the newest easy, breezy, beautiful icon.
Not everyone is happy that LindsayLohanand
Samantha Ronson (below) have confirmed
their relationship. Lohan's imprisoned father,
Michael, who disapproves of the pairing, went
on the record after the announcement, calling
Ronson a "dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity" in an email to the photo
agency X17. "Have you ever
seen her apartment?" he
wrote. "For God's sake, when
she runs out of toilet paper
she tells people to use the
cardboard roll:'
Lohan stood up for her
woman, telling the New York
Post, "My father obviously
needs to be on medication to
control his moods;' and subsequently filing a restraining
order against him.
Now that's going to make for one awkward
family reunion.
There was really only one reason to watch
the movie Transformers when it was released:
MeganFox.But now, as revealed in a detailed
GQ interview, there's a whole lot
more to her.
At 18, Fox had a crush on a
woman. "I was in love with this girl
that worked at the Body Shop;' the
22-year-old actor said. "I decided
that I was going to get her to love
me back, and I went out of my way
to create a relationship with this
girl, a stripper named Nikita;' who
performed "these beautiful slow
dances to Aerosmith ballads:' For Fox, trying
to create a relationship involved wooing her
with small gifts and encouraging her to ditch
the pole.
Alas, her infatuation proved short-lived: Fox,
who's engaged to ex 90210 star Brian Austin
Green, doesn't consider herself gay. However,
that's not going to stop her from admiring the
fairer sex: "I just think that all humans are born
with the ability to be attracted to both sexes;' she
says. ''And lately I've been obsessed with Jenna
Jameson,
but ... oh boy:'
Oh boy, indeed.
Millions of lesbians cried when Sen. Hillary
Clintondidn't make the '08 ticket,
but they cringed when Gov.Sarah
Palin,a woman who reportedly attempted to ban gay books in the
Wasilla, Ala., public library, did.
But some of you may have been
wondering, where was Condi?
A
Republican
National
Committee source close to the
vice-presidential selection process told investigative journal-
ist Ian Halperin that
after Obama picked
Biden over Clinton
as his running mate,
the Republican party
became even more determined to have a woman on their side. Former Secretary of State
Condoleezza
Ricewas one of the obvious choices-except her chances were dashed by lesbian
rumors about her and girl friend Randy Bean,
with whom Rice shares home ownership and a
bank account.
In an interview on The EarlyShow,LynneCheney,
wife of Vice President Dick Cheney, was asked
her feelings about the possibility that her lesbian
daughter, Mary, might marry longtime girlfriend
Heather Poe, while same-sex marriage was legal
(briefly) in California.
"Well, I would wish my daughter to have happiness and the freedom to make her own choices;'
Cheney replied matter-of-factly. "The vice president said in the debate with Joe Lieberman, ever
so long ago in 2000, that freedom in this country
ought to mean freedom for everyone:'
January/February
2009 \ 19
Advice
Lipstick& Dipstick
Bun in the Oven
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I am a married
35-year-old woman and I'm as gay as they
get. Long story short: I tried to be straight. I
got married and then got pregnant and now,
here I am, ready to pop. I love my husband
with all my heart and could never imagine
my life without him. He's always there for me,
but when it comes to sex and intimacy, that's
where it ends. What should I do? - Prego
Peggy in Pasadena
Dipstick:You're pregnant? E-ouch.
Lipstick:I hear it really hurts.
Get an epidural and then ask for a prescription for Xanax to help you deal with all of this
afterward.
Dipstick:Coming out right after you've had a
baby isn't great timing, but it's not the worst
we've heard. It's a good thing you can't imagine
life without your husband, because no matter
where the rest of your relationship goes, you two
are now tied together for life. What you need to
do, once you recover, and in between feedings
and changing diapers, is to come up with a plan.
Leave him and take the baby? Stay married, but
work out an arrangement to see women on the
side? No matter what you do, find a good coming out support group 'and a therapist. You're
going to need both!
Lipstick:You're right, Dip-if ever there was a
couple who needed therapy, these two are poster
children. Prego pants, set a good example for
your kid, even though she or he is young, by
confessing everything to your husband (maybe
wait until your hormones have balanced out).
Right now, he is your life partner and honesty is
the only way to go. (Be prepared: Even though
he probably already suspects you want a slice of
pie, he may well freak out, especially since you
just had a child.) Then deal with the fallout. It
won't be easy, but living with this angst is harder,
trust me. Be brave, forgive yourself and believe
in who you are.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: Why does it seem
like everyone in the lesbian community hates
butch lesbians? Today, I had four people tell
me: "If I wanted to
date a man, I would."
I was shocked. I'm
100 percent woman.
Just ask my exes!
One of these people
actually told me I disgust her.
What's up with the hate? - Beat Up Butch
Lipstick:OK, calm down there, lil' butchie. No
need to get your men's briefs in a bunch. Believe
it or not, there's actually no "let's destroy the
butches" conspiracy going on, and what's happening is that you've recently run into some serious
ass-holes. Have your chakras cleansed and give
the world and its people another chance.
Dipstick:Lipstick, you have no idea what you're
talking about. While I do receive letters of undying devotion from would-be suitors on a regular
basis, it's the butch hate-mail I get that sticks to
the sides of my heart. These are some that I've
actually received: "What's the use of having left
a man to be with a bunch of women who look,
act and smell like men?" And: "You know what
would be great? If all butches were shipped to
a deserted island. That would be awesome! You
could have flannel parties and play softball with
your dildos:'
Even though that island sounds like a lot of
fun, comments like that really sting. As tough as
we butches look on the outside, most of us are
really tender on the inside. If you're not attracted to butches, that's fine, but why must people
be so mean? Even though I know the haters are
just insecure with their own identity, their venom is poisonous, especially to the young studs
just coming out. It's time for our whole community to rise in support of the beautiful butches
out there.
Jeez, Dip. I had no idea. Next time you
Lipstick:
get one of these emails, forward it to me. Those
spineless haters will have no chance when I open
up Lipstick's can of whoop ass.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I'm in a relationship with a woman, Annie, who lives hundreds of miles away. I'm currently a student
and Annie is in the military. We've always
been faithful to each other. Hell, I even stayed
Hot & Not
with her through her six-month deployment
to Iraq. Recently, she found an Internet social
networking site (she told me it was initially
for laughs), and found a girl's entry that
interested her. She emailed her after I told
her it was OK. They finally met for coffee
with some of our friends.
Since then, she's told me what's going on
with this girl and I'm trying to be as supportive as I can, since she's had trouble finding
friends and having fun since she got back
from Baghdad. But I'm worried and feeling lousy because I don't feel like I'm good
enough for her. I'm afraid she wants to be
with this woman. She insists that I'm the one
she loves. Should I take a hard-line stance
on this other girl? Or should I continue with
my supportive attitude? - Angst-ridden in
Albuquerque
Lipstick:[Sniff, sniff] Dip, do you smell that? It's
a skunk.
Dipstick:Yes,
I smell a skunk, but it's not Annie,
it's Albuquerque. What do you mean, "I even
stayed with her through her six,month deploy,
ment to Iraq:' You think you deserve a medal for
that? That's what girlfriends do. And they let
their partners make friends and pursue inter,
ests of their own. Especially when they're not
around. Long,distance relationships are hard.
But if they're based on anything, it's trust and
communication. She's not hiding anything from
you. She's being totally upfront about this new
friend. I say you need to relax and let Annie
enjoy her new friendship.
Lipstick:
You're too trusting, Dipstick. I don't like
what I'm hearing. What you need to do is listen
to your intuition, Albuquerque. If the red alert is
still going off, then I think it's time for a surprise
visit. But even if you decide it's innocent enough,
your bigger problem is that you don't feel worthy
of her love.
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer once said, "You are
always a valuable, worthwhile human beingnot because anybody says so, not because you're
successful, not because you make a lot of mon,
ey-but because you decide to believe it and for
no other reason:' You've got to get some self
worth, New Mexico, and then you'll stop wor,
rying about losing your girl because you'll realize
what an amazing catch you are.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I believe I
have fallen mistakenly into a lesbo pit-
fall. I'm a 30-year-old Asian American
postal worker living in Omaha, Neb.
My girlfriend, who I've been off and on
with for three years, is driving me crazy.
We're so fundamentally different that we
almost kill each other sometimes. She had
a substance abuse problem when we met,
and I believe she has kicked the habit. She
has control issues but works hard to get
over them. I need my space and don't like
being caged. We've tried to be friends, but
of course, ended up with benefits, which
led to her wanting "us" back. I'm kind of
noncommittal at this point, but she wants
to possess me. I try to be strong, but when
she kisses me I still melt and cave in. So, my
question is, if you have the intense passion
we have and keep working on it, is there
any hope? Or will one of us go insane or
commit murder? - Perplexed Pussyhead
Lipstick:Uh, the fact that you used the word
"murder" is alarming! I assume you meant it in
jest, but Christ, the usage alone is horrendously
telling. You need to get out of her codependent
claws, even if you're heartbroken about it (and
you will be for a while). And if it's really that
lethal, you need to get very far away, like, move to
another state. Just because you firecrackers com,
bust when you touch doesn't mean it's healthy or
worth saving; the contrary in this sitch, I'm afraid.
The toxicity could be lethal and it may, God
forbid, trigger violence. Put away your freshly
sharpened saber, the Chinese throwing stars and
the nunchucks and lose the chick.
Dipstick:I know exactly what this is about: the
hot sex. Reminds me of one of my early lovers.
We too had a passionate night in Omaha. We
were on a cross,country trip and had a big fight a
few hours earlier in Lincoln. Fought again in Des
Moines and had great sex in Davenport. Finally
broke up in Chicago and I had to hitch the rest of
the way to the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival.
But my point is: fire is fire, whether it's fighting or
fucking. My guess is your dysfunction has to do
with her addictions. If you really want to make
things work with this girl, get to an AA meeting
and learn the things you can and can't change.
You'll decide for yourself whether or not you can
make this into a healthy relationship.
These advice gurus are the authors
of Lipstick & Dipstick's Essential
Guide to Lesbian Relationships.
Aswe headintoa newyear,Lipstickand
Dipstickwantto makesureyou'reuponthe
latestlesbiantrends.Howcanyouknowwhat's
in thisyear,andwhatis so2008?Lipstickand
Dipstickhavebeentravelingthe countryon
theirbooktour,studyinglesbianinsandouts,so
here'swhatyouneedto knowfor 2009.
LIPSTICK
NipplePiercings8
Inthe newyear,it's !
all abouttheta-tas. :
:
ClitHoodies
Theonlythingthat
shouldbe pokingyou
downthereis
anotherwoman.
Sundried8
TomatoHummus !
Sundried
tomatoes :
areso gayand :
alwaysa hit at the !
Superbowl
potluck.
RedPepper
Hummus
Redpeppersare
notgayandwill
just attractflies.
HitachiMagicWand TheRabbitHabit
Thislittlekaraoke Simplifyandfocus
microphone-personal onyourlover.There
massager
will keep is just toomuch
youentertained
every goingonwith
nightof theweek. the Rabbit.
Monogamy
8
Relationships
arehot
in '09.Workonfinding
oneor enhancing
the
intimacyin yours.
Threesomes
Withlesbians
(especially
if two
arein a relationship),
thingsalwaysgo
sideways.
DIPSTICK
SIS
Lovingyourbody,8
nomatteritsshape !
Thefatexperience
com :
will showyou
to :
getempowered.!
Dieting
Everyone
knowsNew
Year'sresolutions
neverstickanyway!
SextMessaging
H-tSexClubs
Youcangetit onany- ! Dark,stickyandwhat
time,anywhere,
even : is thatodor?
at work! :
AuNaturalBush8 BrazilianWax
Puffit out,likea 'fro. : Baldwentoutwhen
! Sineadcameout.
StarTattoos8 Rainbow
Jewelry
EvenLindsayLohan ! Sendthe rainbow
hasone. : backto Oz.
Ask them anythingat curvemag.com.
January/February
2009
I 21
Advice
Astro Grrl
New Year, New Fortune
(Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
Money Capricorn
Sex:Ask and you shall receive. Ask again and you shall receive
willflow again. But too much asking and not enough doing will bore
her. Career:Money will flow effortlessly from your wallet to
effortlessly many expensive and useless purchases. Try to invest rather
than divest.
from your
(Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
wallet to Aquarius
Sex:Allow yourself to be spoiled silly by some well-endowed
your many benefactress. This doesn't happen often enough for you.
Career:You make an interesting first impression with the
expensive power elite. Try again, this time without wearing those cellophane shorts.
and useless
(Feb. 20-March 20)
purchases. Pisces
Sex:You possess great charisma and can dramatically improve
Tryto invest the value of your personal stock. Sell
it before the market closes! Career:
ratherthan Don't rely on intuition when it comes
to career decisions. Stick to dredging
divest. up
the cold, hard facts and then burying them when you don't agree.
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Sex: A mysterious lady makes her
intentions known to you this January.
Are your intentions the same? Whoo
hoo! Career:Don't impede your career
progress by jumping to conclusions.
In fact, you'll do better by making
yourself scarce on the job. Any excuse
for a vacation!
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
Sex:Does she or doesn't she? You may
get some mixed signals from platonic
girlfriends. Look both ways and proceed with caution. Career:Listen carefully to what the senior
staff says and see if it matches what they actually do. You
will be surprised. Or maybe you won't.
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
Sex:Actions will speak louder and prouder than your words
this January. It's a good thing, too. Who wants hot air when
you can turn it steamy? Career:Charm those with power and
see how far you can climb. But keep any compromising photos in a safe place, in case you need them later.
Business relationships might be tested this January. The outcome will depend on how much you cram for the big test the
night before.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Sex:In 2009 you'll be having sex ... and then you'll have
more sex. Your appetite knows no bounds. Will you bite off
more than you can chew? Let's hope so! Career:Expect to
waste time on the job because your recommendations are
not followed and misunderstandings occur. Take several
long lunches and leave it to others to untangle.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Sex:Relationships become stronger and sizzling hot. Avoid
overcooking by keeping the flame moderate but continuous.
Career:Fun will get in the way of work throughout January.
How will you decide which 1s
more important? Uh-oh.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
Sex: Libras are sure to set the
water cooler boiling. Office flirtations become heated. But will she
still love you by the next pay period? Career:Add a bit of creativity
to all your mundane tasks. Not
only will you end up with more
responsibility, you'll also leave the
crummy work to others.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Sex:You are charming, attractive
and loving all through January.
Who are you and what have
you done with Scorpio? Career:
Secure your boundaries at work
and look for mentors and protecyou to take full advantage of
enable
will
It
tors on the job.
others' weaknesses.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Sex:Entertain more at home this January. Not only will
gal pals beat a path to your door, they'll also be willing to
help prepare and clean up. Hurry! Career:Your words pack
a punch now. Better put on the kid gloves before you hurt
someone and derail your progress.
Astrologer Charlene Lichtenstein is the author of
Herscopes: A Guide to Astrology for Lesbians. To
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
orgo
Sex:The new year brings new adventures and exotic love. seewhat elseis in your stars,visit thestarryeye.com
How exotic is up to you. Step out of your shell, Crab. Career: to her blogat thestarryeye.typepad.com.
221 curve
;J
5
5
r(
:.I
Relationships Advice
Date Night Essentials
Justin Case:She'llbe pleasantly
surprisedwhenyouwhipout
yourcompactandout comesa condomto wraparoundherfavorite
sextoy.Thisniftylittle blackcaseis chicanddiscreet,with
a mirroranda hiddencompartment
that safelyholdstwo
condoms.Perfectfor slidingintoyourpocketfor a trip
to yourgirlfriend'sor a safenightoutonthe town.($12,
cleosboutique.com)
I
f
WetNaturals:
ThesepH-balanced,
glycerin-andparabenfree "intimacygels"aremadewith botanicals,
vitaminsandantioxidants.
Theyremind
usthat what'sgoodfor the faceis alsogoodfor the coach.($14andup,drugstore.com)
BoobLube:It soundsmoresalaciousthanit is, butthis fun
lavenderherbalsoapfromSavetheTa-Taswill helpyougive
yourselves
breastself-examswhilesudsingup.Thebottlehasa
how-toanda checklistthat youmarkoff eachmonth.Partof the proceeds
fromthe lubeandthe SavetheTa-Tasteesgoto breastcancerresearch.
($15,savethetatas.com)
Destination
Dinners:
If stayingin beatsgoingout,sendthe girlfriend
a yummyDestination
Dinner.Thesedinnerrecipekits fromdifferentpartsof the globecontainall
the hard-to-findspices,saucesandcondiments,
a how-toguide,a shoppinglist,authentictable
settingsuggestions
andfun triviaonthe countryyou'reeatingfrom.TryKorea'stastybulgogi.
($25,destinationdinners.com)
TrojanHerPleasure
Vibrating
Touch:
Thistiny fingertipmassageris inexpen~ive
andwon'tflag
securityat the airport,the wayyourothervibratingfriendswill. ($20,vibratingtouch.com)
Doormat Seeks Muddy Boots
+-.lk -.bo"'+
clykc.Jr-.M-.!
Reply to: pers,900007675376523@craigslist.org
Date: 2008,07, 10, 12:20PM PDT
Do you have a drinking problem? Do you believe your crappy childhood exempts you from having to be nice to other people? Is "enraged" the only
emotion you are capable of feeling? Do you make twice as much as me, yet still need to borrow money a week after you et paid? If so, I am the lady
for you! I'm a queer femme who enjoys being yelled at, ignored and told what is best for me. I'm short, thin (maybe that will trigger your teenage
eating disorder issues! Feel free to blame me!) and smart ( unless you find that threatening! In which case I am not as smart as you!). I do have
clinical depression, which I manage with medication and, ideally, a steady supply of judgment from you. I'm looking to continue along my current
dating path with someone who is immature, unpleasant and bad at listening. Bonus points if you:
,fetishize my mixed,race background, use it to impress your liberal white friends and know exactly what"my people" are doing wrong
,make "ironic" racist jokes
,have no friends of your own, preferring to use me for all of your emotional needs (if you must have your own friends, I would rather you use
them to cheat on me and/or commiserate about what a terrible girlfriend I am)
,hate fat people (although I am not fat mysel£ I love it when people rip on my friends and expect me to agree because of my genetics)
,understand that being an asshole and apologizing for it later is exactly the same as not being an asshole in the first place
,use "non,normatively gendered" as a synonym for "teeming with internalized misogyny"
Hopefully we can build a lasting relationship and maybe move in together so that you can decorate the apartment with old beer cans filled with
cigarette butts and containers of half,eaten takeout food covered in fruit flies. Don't worry, I'll clean up after you. I'd prefer if you are white and
middle,class so you can lord it over me all the time. Physical age unimportant as long as you are emotionally 9 years old. Your pie gets mine!!!
January/February
2009
I 23
Advice
LBD Blues
Spring Cleaning, Anyone?
Dear Fairy Butch: What are your thoughts
on our subcultural standby, Lesbian Bed
Death? Any ideas on how to deal with it?
- Wistful in Washington
DearWistful:Yes, my dear, though there are scads of lesbian couples who keep the embers burning long into their second, third
and, yes, fourth decades together, this theme does seem to be a
recurring one. Here are a few tips, which may be of use in your
efforts to jump-start the nether regions of your relationship.
1) A word to those folks who haven't yet found l'amour: Pick
a gal who really flips your blintzes in the first place-one with
whom you have a real, durable sexual rapport. While it's wonderful to have our abstinence relieved after a drought, and it's often
exciting to sleep with someone new, there is a difference between
sexual novelty and real, solid sexual chemistry.
2) Once you're in the mix, work some separation into your
pairing-try setting up a regular weekly solo evening with friends,
or take an evening course or workshop by yourself If you live
together, make sure that you are able to maintain some privacy
within your home. Part ways when getting ready for a hot night
on the town with each other; a wee retreat in the water closet goes
a long way to making your eventual time together more special.
3) Try something brand new in the boudoir: Pack for a date
with your lover, whether it's the traditional bundle or some spicy
new lingerie. Buy an erotic video, or write up instructions that
lead her to a fancy hotel in the middle of the week. Try hiring a
limousine to traverse your city's byways and do the deed in the
backseat, or have a violinist serenade the two of you during a
catered dinner chez toi.
4) If LBD has truly taken hold and you are determined to
vanquish it, make a dramatic change in the pattern of your relationship; take a romantic, fun-filled vacation in a sumptuous new
locale. Exciting new surroundings can loosen up boundaries and
old inhibitions and get a sexless relationship out of its rut.
5) Don't allow our culture to enter your boudoir if all is
actually well with yours. Sexuality in general is often evaluated
in terms that best reflect the needs of men; for example, frequency is often privileged over duration. If, in honestly evaluating your relationship and your happiness therein, you find
that you are actually satisfied, I say frequency stats and friends'
opinions be damned.
6) On the other hand, if one or both of you are genuinely
unhappy with the state of affairs (or the lack thereof) and tips No.
2 through No. 4 have failed, more serious action should be taken.
Consider seeing a couples counselor, sex therapist or other sexual
problem solver, Tulip, and be prepared to
Fairy Butch is the author of The Ultimate Guide to
Strap-On Sex: A Complete Resource for Women
and Men. Email Jb@Jairybutch.com with your queries.
24 I curve
Tht
Ult
lu1d1
to
ltrtp•On
I'm dating this girl who's flat-out gorgeous.
She's really, really hot, with a truly perfect
ass. We hooked up after discovering our girlfriends were cheating on us with each other
• and decided to start dating to help ease the
pain. (I hear they call that a "grudge fuck:')
She's completely free-spirited, laughs a lot
and has adorable dimples. She wears tie-dye
and is a little fashion-challenged, but I can
overlook it because the sex is incredible.
So, I wind up driving to her place
vegseveral times a week for dinner-great
followed
wine,
and
candles
with
food
etarian
by some mind-blowing bedroom encounters.
I really like her, but the more we hang out,
the more obvious it becomes that we are two
very different birds. She had an astrologist
read my chart and hosts all-day spiritual
gatherings at her house where no one talks for the entire 12 hours. I can't not
talk for two minutes. She pays lots of money for raw food, and I pay very little
money for fast food. She drinks raw milk out of a coconut. I drink beer. She
doesn't believe in tampons. I worship them.
We have been able to work through our differences with passionate arguments, er, discussions, and I've actually learned to like coconut milk and raw
food. I sometimes even wear tie-dye ( though I adamantly refuse to give up
tampons). I am thinking it could possibly work out-and so is she-as long
as I try a colonic.
"A what?" I ask. "Colon hydrotherapy;' she says, "is all the rage:' In fact, she
is a colon hydrotherapist. OK, so I have heard about colonies, I admit, and I
know a lot of hippie types get 'em-but they're not for me. She swears that
just one will change my life and insists that I try it before forming an opinion.
Before I can argue, er, discuss it with her, she has scheduled me in for a ses-
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0
0
0
Q.
sion the next day.
Tipping the Scales
I hatescales.Thosetiny little metalmodulesthat seemto do nothingbut mock
me with whetheror notthat boxof Ho-Hoswas a goodidealast night.SinceI'm
OKwith my 20 extrapounds,I hadn'thada scalein years,until I founda hi-tech
lronman-stylegadgetcalledthe TanitaBC-533lnnerScan
BodyCompositionMonitor.
Hokeyor not,this little contraptionmakes
mefeel like DaraTorreswhenI'm on it. First,
usinga bioelectricalimpedanceanalysis
(BIA)it candistinguishthe differencebetweenpoundsof fat andmuscle.Basically,
youenteryourheightandweight,then,
as youstandon little electrodefoot pads,
Life Advice
I'm nervous all night and can barely force
down breakfast in the morning. When I get
there, she is grinning ear to ear. She is thrilled
and swears again that it will change my life. I'm
not so sure, but I put on the large diapers with
the opening in the back and lie on the table as
instructed, knees up. She puts on rubber gloves
and soft music. There are posters on the wall
and the ceiling-some are diagrams of the co~
lon, others provide illuminating methods for
relaxation. I try them as she inserts a plastic
tube in my anus. Weird. Then water rushes in,
definitely a strange sensation when you're used
to things moving in the opposite direction. As
instructed, I wait until it feels like I have to "go;'
and then she reverses the process, letting the
water, and anything else, drain out. It all runs
through the tube and then through this machine
with a little window. She says something about
seeing last night's salad, but I don't want to look.
When my colon is finally empty of water and
any other extra waste, she removes the tube and
I am allowed to get up and use the restroom.
I am relieved to get my clothes on and dump
2
'{
the diapers in a sterile steel bin (puns very much
g intended). She hugs me ecstatically and wants to
\2.
know how I feel. I think I've lost a pound and I
.Ir
. .LJ
>- feel OK ... but it hasn't changed my life. In fact,
I
. ..J
I think I'd rather let my colon do its job unas~
IIJ
I::
sisted, which, I have read, it does perfectly well
without the plastic tubes. I'll never do another
colonic, and in the end we break up, but hey, at
least I've tried it. [JENNIFER
CORDAY]
Most dykes would
prefer not to work
for The Man, but
jumping off into
the terrifying world
of Top Ramen and
tax write-offs (read:
self-employment)
is intimidating.
Whether you want to go ahead fullthrottle and start your own business, or
just make your work-from-home days
Voted Best Lesbian Property by
011tTrrweller
Readers
"Pearl's has it all." ~ Cs,n,eMagazine
a bit more effective, Michelle Goodman
has the book for you. The Anti 9 to
5 Guide: Practical Career Advice for
( I I
l 's,;'i
th l)
l(.'1,'i:t
Il '•
i.'t l
Women Who Think Outside the Cube
supplies practical advice for making a
clean break from the cubicle, and her
latest book, My So-Called Freelance
www.pearlsrainbow.com
1.800.749.6696 • 525 United Street
KeyWest,Florida 33tMO
Life: How to Survive and Thrive as a
Creative Professional for Hire, is a
freelancer's how-to guide for women.
Inspiring and informative, these books
are a great first
step to scoring the
job of your dreams,
or improving the
one you have.
[CATHERINE
PLATO]
January/February
2009
I 25
Dyke Drama
I
Michele Fisher
Should You Forgive Her Infidelity:
What to do when you catch your girlfriend with her pants down.
Your girl and your neighbor, a massage therapist, are going at it on the
new tuck-and-roll pleather couch you two just picked-up at TJ Maxx last
month on your anniversary. How could she? And why didn't they put
down a sheet, so you could take the couch with you in the divorce settlement? Now it's all coated with slut DNA, yuck.
Infidelity in dykeland is rarely exposed in such a sudden and dramatic fashion. In real lesbian life, the discovery is usually slow, predictable and painful. It goes something like this: Your lady has been acting
strange for several weeks ( or months,
depending on how long you two have
been together). She is remote, brooding and secretive. When she does talk,
it is about what you do wrong and
why she is unhappy. She wants more
space and more time to do things on
her own. No matter how much space
you give her or how many of her
demands you give in to, her mood
does not improve. She doesn't want
to be defined by her relationship with
you anymore. She has mentioned this
other woman a lot lately. In fact, the
only time she seems happy is when she
is talking to or about this other person.
You have a sick feeling in your stomach
that never goes away. You have been
trying to ignore the signs for a while.
One day you can't take it anymore, so
you ask her if she is having an affair.
If your girl is already deep into a
relationship with the other womanthat is, they have already picked out a wedding date, they just need to
convince you to give the bride away-she might cave in and confess.
But you usually have to work a lot harder for that bit of bad news. You
must earn that heartbreak by crying alone for hours, getting into fruitless
confrontations with her and engaging in unproductive begging. Not to
mention confirming your suspicions daily with friends and relatives until
they start screening their calls.
After all, your lover needs time to figure out whether she is really
in love with this other woman or just wants to be away from you. And
you keep distracting her with your pesky need for the truth. The cheater
doesn't want to tell you anything because she wants you on reserve, just
in case she is making a mistake. And you don't push too hard because you
don't want her to go. This stage lasts anywhere from a week to a decade.
In the end, she will leave.
Which leads me to my point: If you have a cheating lesbian on your
hands, get rid of her!
Forgive her? No. I say unload her.
So, what if your girl is the one dyke in the world who really did just
26 I curve
make a mistake and is sincere about wanting to get back into your good
graces?
Forgiveness is like swing dancing: It is hard work and more people
think they can do it than actually can.
Step one is to decide if forgiveness is something you really want to
do. After several painful months that end in nothing but more pain,
most women realize that forgiveness plays a small and insignificant role
in the post-cheat drama. The fear of being alone often disguises itself as
absolution.
I am not the Dyky Lama, so
I am not the best person to ask
about finding your way back to
nirvana with a two-timing partner.
Everything may happen for a reason, but you won't find me hanging
around in the Downward Facing
Dog position trying to figure out
why I am with a louse. If you have
it in you to incorporate infidelity
into your life plan, then you are a
far better dyke than I am.
Forgiveness means that you
have to stop thinking about what
the two of them looked like having sex together. That film will
play over and over in your head
and no amount of gin or sudoku
will be able to stop your mental
projector. Even if you think you've
gotten over it, you haven't. You will
be talking to her about the grocery
list and one of those horrific scenes will pop into your head and you will
instantly become angry with her. She will explain that it isn't that important to have the whole wheat dinner rolls, but you won't be able to stop
yelling about what an inconsiderate shopper she is.
Even if you do manage to compartmentalize her indiscretions and
move on, your friends will not allow it. You are going to have to explain to
them that you are OK, and you'll spend way too much time sticking up
for your cheating girlfriend. You will eventually have to accept the fact that
even if you forgive her, they never will, and they certainly won't allow you
to forget about it.
The worst part about forgiveness is having it rejected. What if she
makes firewood out of your olive branch? Overlooking her transgressions
in the hope of reconciliation is not forgiveness; it is foolishness.
Did you hear her say that she is never going to cheat again and wants
to be with you forever? Or did you hear a bunch of bullcrap about her
being confused and needing time to sort it out? And don't let a few tears
convince you that her dastardly ways are behind her. She could still be
plotting her next act of treason while she is leaking from the eyes. She ain't
crying because she wants you back-she is crying because she got caught.
And she is crying so she won't look like the creep she is to the rest of the
lesbian world. What you think of her is not nearly as important as what
her next five wives will think of her. Hell yeah, there are a lot of dykes in
Hollywood. There is no shortage of talented actresses in our community.
I remember one of my own episodes of dyke drama with a cheater who
told me that she would try to forgive me! She went on to explain that I had
created an environment where cheating was her only option. She assured
me that she was doing her best.
Luckily, my self-esteem was alteady at an all-time low, so I couldn't
really sink any further.
But your two-timing woman is different. She is sorry and she does
want to stay together and she isn't just acting the part to get away with
another crime of passion.
If you just know that she is sincere and think you have the stomach and the energy for the relationship to continue, then you are going
to have to set some new boundaries and guard them like a breakaway
Soviet republic.
Women who have made a "mistake'' know that there is no such thing
as privacy for a long time. They will not need alone time, or extra screen
names with secret passwords. One-time cheaters who want to be forgiven
don't erase text messages or call logs. Women who want to save their marriage don't need to have private conversations with the women they have
slept with behind your back. This one really kills me. The number of doormat dykes who allow their cheating wives to "meet" with their mistresses
to "explain'' things to them ought to be zero. Funny, the tramp didn't make
time for your wife to explain anything to you while they were rolling
around behind your back? Are you, the victim, supposed to feel sorry for
the poor woman who slept with your girlfriend? The fact that you let her
walk the earth with a full head of hair should be consolation enough.
The gal who made a stupid mistake and will do anything to make it
right knows that her life will be an open book for years to come. She will
not be trusted to so much as pee on her own for generations. And she
won't complain about it either.
Like I said before, forgiveness is hard work ... for both parties.
Maybe it is best to forget about forgiveness and move on to vengeance.
Maybe have a little fling of your own. But in my experience, retaliation
sex is only slightly better than rebound sex and not worth forfeiting your
position of righteous indignation over.
Chucking a two-timing girlfriend right after you discover her misdeed
really is for the best. We lesbians don't do well with infidelity. I don't
know why it is such a big deal to us-it just is. I couldn't tell you why
just
women sleep with other women to get out of relationships-they
do. Should you need more encouragement to make the break, remember
that the sooner you get rid of her as a lover, the sooner you can have her
for a best friend.
Pacific Reproductive Services
1e n
an
v
ert
I
When we were founded in 1984, one of our
guiding missions as a lesbian-owned sperm
bank and fertility center was to ensure other
lesbians had access to a caring, professional
0 their special needs.
environment respons
That commitment has never changed.
r The nation's largest number of donors "willing
to be known" when a child reaches 18 as well
as a diverse selection of anonymous donors
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Ongoing personal support throughout your
insemination process
www.PacRepro.com
888.469.5800
Medical Offices in San Francisco and Pasadena
We Ship Anywhere in the U.S.
't
January/February
2009
I 27
Politics
VictoriaA. Brownworth
Is Lesbian Bed Death Real:
Getting to the bottom of the lesbian libido question.
Why don't lesbians have more sex?
I blame nesting. It goes beyond the old joke about what a lesbian brings
to a second date (a U, Haul). Nesting is about comfort over desire, affection,
over passion, cuddling over fucking.
Don't get me wrong-there's much to be said for comfort, affection and
cuddling. But do those things need to preclude desire, passion and sex?
Can't they be concomitant with the fires of sexuality?
In a recent, totally unobjective survey of my closest lesbian friends, some
of whom are in long,term relationships and some of whom are single, I dis,
covered that none were having sex. None. All I can say is, "Why not?"
A few years ago I had a conversation with a lesbian acquaintance who
had separated from her long,term partner. She was avidly searching for a
new relationship, yet was clearly not ready to be in one. I asked her why she
was so gung,ho on getting recoupled when she hadn't spent time grieving
for the loss of the old relationship.
Her answer was sex.
I suggested masturbation. She was appalled. I reminded her that she
was self sufficient in every other way-why not be self sufficient sexually?
She told me she had never masturbated.
Now I'm wondering, if women can't have sex with themselves, is it sur,
prising they aren't having sex with each other?
Sex surveys done by several women's magazines show that many women
don't have orgasms when they have sex. A surprisingly large number find
sex unpleasant, citing a lack of sufficient
foreplay, a lack of affection and romance,
an inability to achieve orgasm through
traditional intercourse and general feelings
and emotionalof discomfort-physical
as reasons. Of course, these magazines
have an obvious heterosexual bias, but is it
really different for lesbians?
Although what excites a woman tends
to be different from what excites a man,
women are more likely to be anorgasmicmen. In
unable to achieve orgasm-than
addition, women tend to reach their sexual
peak much later in life than men, hence the
cougar,cub syndrome that has become so
prevalent in recent years among hetero,
sexual women.
So, if women actually have just as much
sex drive as men and, unlike men, maintain
their sexual activity level much longer, why
all the lesbian bed death?
"I just don't really have the time for it;'
one of my single friends told me. "I used to
really like sex, but now that I'm single, I am
more focused on my work and my friend,
ships, and I find that really satisfying. I
28 I curve
don't miss sex. I really don't:'
Another friend in a relationship for close to 15 years said her partner
just "isn't interested" and that the two haven't had sex for more than seven
years. She would like to have sex again, but doesn't want to go outside the
relationship. "I would never cheat on (my partner) just for sex:•
Why isn't sex more important to lesbians? We certainly talk a good
game, but it seems that once the relationship starts, sex ends.
In their as,yet,unreplicated study, American Couples:Money, Work, Sex,
Dr. Pepper Schwartz and Philip Blumstein did research on straight and
same,sex couples. Lesbians had less sex than any of the other couples-gay
men or heterosexuals. Schwartz, who has written extensively on sexuality,
used the term "lesbian bed death:' The phrase, which was also used by les,
bian sex expert and author JoAnne Loulan, quickly caught on as shorthand
for the slackening off of the libidos of lesbian couples.
Schwartz and Blumstein's study echoed that of queer researchers Dr.
Karla Jay and Allen Young in The Gay Report:Lesbiansand Gay Men Speak
Out About Sexual Experiencesand Lifestyles.Jay and Young found that lesbi,
ans were far less likely to be sexually satisfied in their relationships than gay
men were. Both studies found the news on lesbian sex was not good. Less
than one,third of lesbians in relationships for over two years had sex once
a week or more, while almost half of lesbians in long,term relationships
had sex once a month or less. Meanwhile, two,thirds of married hetero,
sexual couples had sex once a week or more and only 15 percent of straight
couples in long,term relationships had sex
once a month or less. Gay men had sex
more than anyone.
In Schwartz and Blumstein's follow,up
study, lesbian couples were also the most
likely to break up and the most likely to
break up due to sex-or the lack thereo£
A Swedish study published in May
2006 determined that lesbians respond
differently to sexual pheromone stimuli
than heterosexual women do, but not
the same way that heterosexual men do.
The study suggests that sexual stimulus
response is genetically based.
Could pheromone response be the rea,
son for a diminished interest in sex? Or is
there another rationale for the diminished
sexual activity in lesbians?
Some feminist theorists posit that
women have sex less than men overall because they are more repressed about
sexuality than men. Women are less likely
to have orgasms, less likely to initiate sex,
less likely to try new sexual positions, less :>
J
likely to try new sexual acts, less likely to
complain about unsatisfactory sex and less
I
IN THE NEWS
likely to express their sexual needs and desires.
That does sound like repression.
In addition, women are also more likely to
have been victims of sexual abuse. One in three
women will be raped in her lifetime and one in
four was a victim of sexual abuse as a child. Put
two women together in bed and the likelihood
that one of them has been a victim of some kind
of sexual assault is pretty high.
Then there's plain old ordinary sexism, in
which women are reduced to the sum of their
genitalia on an almost daily basis and are made
to feel uncomfortable in their own bodies. The
majority of women say they are dissatisfied with
their bodies and with their looks.
How much does all of this impact sexual
repression and expression:' It's impossible to
quantify these variables, but what can be quanti,
fied is that lesbians are unlikely to force sex on an
unwilling partner. Thus, when lesbians aren't get,
ting their sexual needs met, they look elsewhere.
Sex, however, is a physical and emotional
need we all have. It should be satisfied. If you
aren't getting your sexual needs met, find out
why. Talk to your partner or your therapist or
doctor about why sex isn't in your life. If you
liked it before, chances are you still do-but oth,
er issues may have gotten in the way. Women cite
everything from unwashed dishes to children to
simply being tired as reasons they avoid sex. And
sex therapists note that when women get out of
the habit of having sex, it is difficult for them to
f resume sexual intimacy.
0
Intimacy is the bedrock (no pun intended)
5
of romantic relationships. What separates our
lovers from our friends is sexual intimacy. If you
I and your partner are not having sex, something
is wrong, whether you have a good rationale for
J
it or not. Women who live together and don't
have sex are roommates, not lovers.
Sex is good and good for you. We live lon,
ger lives when we have orgasms regularly and
when we have sexual intimacy-with or without
orgasm. And unlike most men, most women can
have sex with no problem well into their 90s. But
why wait until then, when you can do it now:'
From Our Archives
Anti-GayMarriageBallot
Initiatives
Passed
Arizona,California
andFlorida
passedamendments
last
November
banninggaymarriage.
Theseamendments
alteredthe
states'constitutions
to recognize
marriageas
betweena mananda womanonly.Thisbrings
thetotalnumberof statesthathaveapproved
banson gaymarriageupto 30.TheCalifornia
amendment,
Proposition
8, maycall intoquestion
theapproximately
18,000same-sexmarriages
performed
sincea StateSupremeCourtruling
in May2008beganallowingthem.Numerous
protestsin California
andotherstatesfollowedthe
Prop8 passage,
markingwhatsomeactivistssay
maybea returnto civilaction(likethe 1980sand
'90sprotestsbyACTUPandQueerNation).
BisexuaWomanElectedas Secretary
of State
In November,
KateBrownbecamethefirst queer
Secretary
of Statein Oregon,
makingherthe
highestrankedLGBTelectedofficialin the United
States.Brownwasoneof dozensof electedLGBT
candidates
whowereendorsed
bytheGayand
Lesbian
VictoryFund,a groupworkingto increase
the numberof LGBTelectedofficials.Over70
percentof the 111LGBTcandidates
thegroupendorsedwereelectedto publicofficein November.
oreSame-S Marriages
UnderAttack
InJune2008,Massachusetts
lifteda banon
same-sex
marriages
for out-of-statecouples.
The
decisionis beingchallenged,
andopponents
are
organizing
a 2010ballotmeasure
to reinstatethe
ban.Thechallenge
is leadby MassResistance
a ,
Catholic,
anti-gayorganization
claimingto be"pro
family,"butwhichcriticsallegeis devotedentirely
to restrictinggayrights.
Chambeof Commerce
Formsin SanAntonio
AnLGBTChamber
of Commerce
hasbeen
foundedin SanAntonio,
Texas.
ThenewChamber
of Commerce
aimsto achieve
a positiveimagefor the local
.... queercommunity,
advocate
for
gayequality,fostera senseof belongingandbea resource
to help
community
membersmakeinformeddecisions
aboutwheretheydecideto spendtheirmoney.
[RACHEL
LASTRA
ANDARISAWHITE]
Curve was onto MSNBC anchor Rachel Maddow long before
she was trouncing Larry King's ratings and interviewing presidential hopefuls. Here's what she told us, back in 1994, about
being the first out Rhodes Scholar when she was only 21: "I
couldn't have made a case for myself if I had been closeted. So
much of my political involvement is tied up in me being a big
dyke." Read that article, as well an our exclusive new interview
with our favorite pundit at curvemag.com.
January/February
2009
I 29
Sisterhoodon the
Whether you're on the bunny slopes
or the black diamonds, Utah is the
place to be. By Kristin A. Smith
untain
SKIRESORT
ALTA
This ski-only resort offers the greatest variety of women-only
sounds more like a
OffTrailFunshop
workshops. The Goddess
sex shop than a ski clinic, but we're pretty sure it's the latter.
It's designed to satisfy the intermediate to advanced skier's
desire to get off the groomed slopes. Touted as a "sisterhood
of the mountain;' they'll show you secret off-trail spots and
teach you the techniques to master them. If you're tough
RESORT
THECANYONS
On the extravagant end of the vacation spectrum is the SnoDaisy enough for the backcountry, there's no better group of girls to
show it to you. This year's clinic is March 2-3.
Camp,hosted at the Canyons Resort. Lizzie Dowd,
Snowboard
LadiesDay,held six Thursday mornings in a row, is aimed
public relations director for the Canyons, describes it as a"luxe
at creating a community of "like-minded" (read: snowcamp for advanced beginner to intermediate snowboarders:'
obsessed) women. Each day features a new discussion topic
This is one of those all-inclusive, apres ride (fancy term for
or workshop and builds on the last. If making friends is more
activities after skiing) camps-and includes accommodations
important than developing your skills, try the Tuesday mornat the Grand Summit Hotel, a champagne reception, a spa
ing Ski Withthe Girls.It's free, there's coffee and you get to
treatment, sleigh rides and a chauffeur service to and from the
meet some local skiers. This year's dates are Jan. 8-Feb. 12.
airport. They also provide you with a free snowboard, bindAlta's yearly Women'sSki Camp is the tried-and-true
ings and boots to take home. If you're a high-fashion glam girl,
women's ski vacation-not too frilly, yet all-inclusive-three
this is a glass slipper that should fit. Camps run throughout
days of skiing, four nights' lodging, lift tickets, ski clinics and a
January, February and March.
Ski bunnies can also get into HollyFlandersThree-Day nightly four-course meal. This year's camp is held Jan. 22-26.
hosted by the world champion skier and
Workshops,
Women's
RESORT
SKIANDSUMMER
SNOWBIRD
former Olympian at the Canyons. The goal of these programs
This four-day Women'sSki Campis designed for the interis to "enable women to improve their skiing in an atmosphere
mediate skier and focuses on small groups and one-on-one
of support and friendship:' Designed for intermediate skiers,
coaching. The camp stresses "a supportive peer environment"
this workshop is taught by Flanders and other world-class
and listening "to your body, mind and spirit;' so if the yogic
female skiers. If you really want to hone your skills and learn
approach is what gets you down the black diamond, this is
from the best, this is the place to go. This year's dates are Jan.
your camp. With its menu of add-ons, including spa access,
9-11, Feb. 6-8, and March 6-8.
telemark lessons and snowshoeing, you can pick and choose
and
the vacation you want. This year's camps runJan.18-22
RESORT
VALLEY
DEER
program at
March 15-19.
For Utah residents, the Womenon Wednesdays
Camphas pickSnowboard
Snowbird's three-day Women's
Deer Valley is your best bet. Hosting small groups, Deer
the hill-steep
mastering
on
clientele.
its
to
focuses
and
catering
for
options
reputation
and-choose
its
to
up
Valley lives
trees. But
heavy
and
one
is
powder
Valley
thick
Deer
chutes,
magazine,
challenging
Ski
by
grades,
Rated the No. 1 resort
to your
home
everything
at
gear
board
your
instructors
leave
the
So
off;
don't be scared
of Utah's few ski-only resorts.
and
2-5
Jan.
held
are
consecutive
five
sessions
runs
The
class
level.
This
individual ability
and try out the two planks.
March
areJan.14-Feb.11.
Wednesdays. This year's dates
The young girls in matching pastel onesies and the sleek
women racers in spandex are taking to the hills around Salt
Lake City and Park City, Utah. There is a growing number
of women's ski and snowboard camps in the area, so whether
you're looking for a single lesson or prefer a full ski vacation,
there's a resort in Utah just for you.
Gettingthe
Most out of
Midsumma
Pride. Most of us have it, many of us enjoy it and there are
plenty of ways to celebrate it. In Australia, Sydney has Mardi
Gras, Daylesford has ChillOut and Melbourne,Victoria's capital city, has Midsum a, which has been running for 20 years.
Held for three weeks in January and February, during the
Australian summer, idsumma is so long there's time enough
to have a horrible break-up with your girlfriend in the first
week, for her to move out, for you to go to a number of events
to try to get over her and for the two of you to get back together in time to go to the Pride march.
With over 175 events going on during the festival, it's easy
to find something (or someone) to tickle your fancy. These
events include dog shows, underage dance parties, cooking
classes for the children of rainbow families, cruises on the bay
and art and history exhibits. If your fancy still isn't tickled,
then there are also burlesque performances, tennis lessons,
an outdoor cinema, mini-golf and karaoke (as much as my
ears may regret chat last entertainment option). Almost half
the events are either lesbian-oriented or lesbian-friendly. My
favorites were an improvised play and an art exhibit. Granted,
neither of these sound as exciting as a dog show for drag kings
and their pets or a cruise on the Yarra River with complimentary ice cream, but upon closer inspection Your Life as a Dyke
and the works of Mel Simpson proved far more entertaining
and provocative than you might chink.
Your Life as a Dyke wasn't your average play. A couple of
years ago, Nik Willmott and Rachel Forgasz put on a play called
My Life as a Dyke, which, unsurprisingly, told stories of their
experiences. They found chat their performances always evoked
stories from the audience, so they decided to turn it around and
tell the audience's stories from the stage. Each night's performance started off with a discussion with the audience-about
their first dates, their first Midsumma or even what they were
wearing chat evening . Then, Willmott and Forgasz sent everyone out to have dinner and asked chem to come back in an hour
to dramatize their already dramatic stories.
It's a risky stunt for the performers to pull off, something
Willmott understands very well. "There is a danger in doing
improvised scuff, particularly comedy, because you're asking
audience members co come down on stage. These people are
going to freeze on stage, or be fabulous or they're going to try
to take over the scene, and you know you're opening yourself
up to any possibility:' Nevertheless, Willmott says, it was fun
and challenging.
Simpson chooses a much less daunting form of expression.
Her paintings explore notions of gender, sexuality and womanliness. As stereotypical as that might sound, her paintings
still have a tendency to fill the viewer with childish glee. "My
art is solely about women: the relationships we have with one
another, our history. It can be (confrontational], but somehow
it's not offensive. It's feminine with masculine elements;' said
Simpson of her work. "I get my inspiration from stories and
images from the past, primarily predating the 1960s, particularly the period during the Second World War. I've always
been fascinated with American culture and I'm sure that has a
strong influence on my work. However, I've been interested in
tattoo culture recently:' Simpson's pop art, comic book-style
paintings depict explorers, policewomen, gridiron players and
women shaving their faces and getting tattoos. Some of her
characters spark comparisons to similar women in pop culture, like Thirteen from House.
It's easy to forget that there are still questioning baby dykes
in the world. Luckily, Midsumma has an answer for that as
well. Minus 18 is an organization especially for underage samesex-attracted people. Among other events, it holds drug- and
alcohol-free dance parties during Midsumma and school holidays. Claudia Stapledon, a member of the planning committee
for Minus 18, says, "Places like Minus are important because
youth start questioning quite early on and it can be confusing. They just want to get out there and explore these feelings
and meet other people who might be questioning, so they can
connect with them and sort themselves out a bit. There's a lot
of overage support out there, but chat's not really appropriate
for underage youth to be involved in:' Minus 18 sponsors a
number of events, including a chill-out zone at Carnival ( the
opening festivities), a junior version ofT-Dance, the Carnival's
after party, and group participation at Pride March.
Last year's Midsumma had all chat. Who knows what treats
Midsumma has in store for us this year? Willmott says,"We've
had chis long-running fantasy of doing a lesbian musical, which
we'd love to do. But it's a huge project and whether or not we
get around to it next year, hmm ... " I'll save you the obligatory
Cats pun, but here's hoping it happens. See you there.
How they do
it with Pride
down under.
By Alice
Clarke
32
Icurve
Cllll/sLilt
the first time I watched Showtime's hit drama
The L Word. It was exciting, sexy and-most of
all-familiar.
I was instantly hooked because,
foxy ladies aside, it was the first time a television
series had actually reflected my life, my friends
and my experiences (OK, it was a much flashier
and more alluring version of all that, like a lezzie
funhouse mirror that turns your flannel into
Chanel). For five seasons, I've watched these
characters' lives unfold, tuning in to see them
change and grow, fight and make up and, in
Shane's case, embark on a campaign of total
female heart annihilation. This month, Showtime
will begin to air the series' sixth and final chapter.
What better time to reflect on how The L Word
has changed the lesbian lexicon-and who better
to ask than the ladies who bring the stories to
life each week? We spoke with Jennifer Beals,
Laurel Holloman, Katherine Moennig and Rachel
Shelley-or, as they are known to fans, Bette,
Tina, Shane and Helena, respectively-about
what it was like to work on the iconic show, what
we can expect from season six and what's next
for them. Oh, and whether fans can hope for
an L Word movie.
By Rachel Shatto
Photos by Don Flood & Paul Michaud/Showtime
January/February 2009
I33
Before the show premiered in 2004, lesbian characters in leading roles on television were scarce. When it first aired, The L
Word was a revelation, with its depiction of a group of friends
who were glamorous, beautiful, successful and gay.
"It [took] away the whole perception that everyone has to
have flannel shirts on and jeans and boots ... we [portrayed] a
lot of different types of characters;' recalls Laurel Holloman,
the woman who brought Tina to life and became TiBette
(so named for her on-screen partnership with Jennifer Beals'
Bette). "I think it changed a lot of people's perceptions:'
More importantly, the popularity of The L Word meant
greater visibility for the lesbian community.
"Between all of the viewings people had in their homes,
and conversations that went online, to the creation of
OurChart ... I think it's been truly instrumental in creating community, and in creating pride and representation;'
adds Beals.
And at a time when the validity of lesbian relationships
is being called into question in state courts, co-star Rachel
Shelley underscores the importance of Bette and Tina's
relationship, especially because the characters are so easy to
relate to. "Most people see [them] as a couple who are just
like any other couple with problems," she says. "It's always the
way that any kind of bigotry or prejudice has been broken
down, by changing the stereotype and informing people of
a reality:'
Beals agrees. "It's about familiarity, and I think the only
reason they're uncomfortable with the notion of same-sex
marriages is because they haven't come into contact with
gay and lesbian couples enough to understand that it's about
love-and that it is a civil right;' says Beals.
34
I curve
But with the show ending this year, the question remains:
How lasting will the effects of The L Word be:'
"I think the truth will come when it's off the air;' says
Beals. For her, the impetus rests with the storytellers. 'Tm
hoping it has changed writers who are willing to write these
stories ... [and] empower other people to tell their stories and
know that there will be people who will listen:'
What story would Beals like to see, post-L Word:'"! would
love to see a sitcom with two married lesbians and their
adventures with their children and their straight, Republican
next-door neighbors. I think it would be fun ... in a Three's
Company kind of way:'
The end of the acclaimed series will also be the end of
a personal journey for the actors. Before working on The L
Word, Beals says she "didn't really see the gay community
that much, in terms of issues. I didn't think about same-sex
marriage. I didn't really know who Matthew Shephard was.
I'd heard the story, but it really didn't sink in, really what it
meant ... the extent to which hate is codified within the culture. It's not until having worked on the show that I realized
that there are so many things to get done:'
For Holloman, the openly bisexual castmate who was
already popular for her lesbian role in the film The
Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love, working
on the set was eye-opening. "I thought I knew a lot about
this community of women [but] I didn't know that much
at all. I have learned so much from the different writers
and directors that came in. For me, it was just a whole new
learning experience. It was important to kind of say, 'Wait,
there is so much for me to learn about the dynamics of
these relationships:"
1
For some of the cast, it's hard to say goodbye to their char~
acter. Beals describes some of the perks of being Bette:"There
are times when I'm in an argument with somebody that I
really wish [Bette] would just pop up and argue for me. I real~
ly, really do. It's like, 'Where is she? Come back!' Instead of me
going, 'Uh, um, ee, oo: I'll miss, certainly, her articulatenessand her wardrobe:'
For others, it may be easier to bid their alter egos adieu.
"I think it's possibly time that I shed that skin ... you can't go
on being the same thing forever;' said Moennig. "I personally
wouldn't feel satisfied doing that for the rest of my life. It's
time to shed that one; appreciate it, own it, but to shed it:'
Not a surprising perspective from Moennig, who was only
24 when she shot to fame on the series. "I really think I came
into my own on this show, just because going through your
20s is such a heavy decade:'
But that doesn't mean the final hurrah will be simple. Like
the audience that's awaiting this sixth and final season, the
cast feels both excitement and sadness.
"I felt like we had accomplished so much. I think that if we
hadn't so thoroughly told so many stories that I would have
been sad and I would have been disappointed. But because we
covered so much ground ... ! just felt tremendously proud and
elated;' says Beals.
"It's sad to let go of six years of your life. But everything
has to come to an end eventually. And now I think is as good
a time as any to move on;' says Moennig.
For Holloman, the hardest part is leaving behind the cast
and crew."I felt really sad .. .like I was just leaving a core group
of people who had become family to me, at least six months
out of every year:'
Despite their conflicted feelings about the series coming to
an end, all the ladies are satisfied with the conclusion. "I feel
like you leave Helena, on a personal level, in a good place, with
some things resolved and a future ahead of her ... which is how
you want to leave a character;' says Shelley.
'Tm really happy with it. I think my character ended up
in this really, really great place;' says Holloman. Perhaps of all
the characters, Holloman's was able to play the greatest range.
Was she always happy with the storyline?
"Every once in a while I think there were these really magi~
cal storylines ... I would really connect with, and I would like
to have seen them go on a little more.
"To be completely honest, there were some episodes, and
I am sure the audience wouldn't want to hear this, but as an
artist I look and I'm like, 'It would have maybe been better if
less people had their clothes off and not everyone was fucking
in that episode, and concentrated on the story a little more:
But God, I can say that now. I hope I don't get in trouble for
it, but I feel I wasn't the only one that felt that. And I love
January/February
2009
I35
that our show was sexy and I loved that it was about sex in
so many ways, but there were just some times where I think
if we had pulled back on certain things ... we could have won
awards, and I think that gets in the way. But, you know, fuck
American television for being so conservative. It was a complicated balance, let's put it that way:'
While the ladies were tight-lipped on spoilers, fans
already know there is a heightened focus on the core group
of women who began this journey together five seasons ago.
to be done. And I am really concerned about the vacuum that
is now on series television in terms of lesbian stories, gay and
lesbian stories, and I'm just praying that somebody comes up
with something good;' she says.
Both Shelley and Moennig are headed to the big screen
but in separate projects. Shelley's British film, The Children,
came out last month. "I play a mother whose kids are actually around;' Shelley says, laughing. "It's kind of a thriller that
turns into a bit of a horror:'
Moennig is in a film called Everybody's Fine, which will
come out this year. "We'll see how that goes;' she says. And
what else does she have planned? "It kind of just depends
what comes my way:'
Holloman, on the other hand, is just looking forward to
some down time with her family. "I have a 7-month-old at
home and my 4-year-old daughter. So I wouldn't mind just
sitting back until the new year:'
And, of course, there is always the not-so-secret untitled
spin-off, in which Leisha Hailey will reprise her role as Alice
Pieszecki. I asked the ladies if there was any chance of a visit
from familiar faces.
"Oh, who knows? I wouldn't say no;' says Shelley.
"You know, no one's asked me. But I'm sure Leisha will be
great;' says Beals. "She's so talented and just so wonderful to
watch, and a lovely person ... all blessings to her and I hope it
goes really well:'
With the Hollywood success of Sex and the City, fans of
The L Word can't help but wonder about the possibility of
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There's also a sense of fun and hilarity, something we saw
hints of last year.
"I think I laugh more in this season than I have in every
season combined. It was so nice;' says Beals.
Holloman, too, hints at the fun: "There's an amazing episode where there is lots of dancing:'
Perhaps it's Rachel Shelley's teasing that fills me with the
most anticipation. "I think it will be a great season. I think it
will be very controversial, right from the first episode. Very:'
"I just want to say, here and now: Make sure that you are
in your seat before the [opening] credits roll. Whatever you
think of the title song;' Shelley adds, laughing.
So what's next for the ladies of The L Word?
For Beals, acting will continue to support her gay rights
activism. "Because of the show, I'm in a position to use that
visibility to be helpful. But seeing the failure [to defeat]
Proposition 8, you know there is certainly a whole lot more
36
I
curve
seeing their favorite Sapphic starlets reunited for a feature
film treatment of the beloved series.
According to Moennig, there have been "grumblings"
on the subject. And it appears that the cast is amenable to
the prospect.
"I think there could be a great movie made about [The] L
Word;' says Shelley.
"That would be such a great reunion;' agrees Moennig.
"I would never turn my nose up at that. It would be too
much fun:'
Holloman also agrees. "I really would love to see us do a
movie. Sex and the City... did really well. We're a very different
type of show, but we are a strong show and a strong group of
women, and I think there is a market there. And I know that
[producer Ilene Chaiken] has more stories to tell:'
You can bet your collection of unfortunate knock-off Papi
hats that I'll be the first in line for those movie tickets.
Lesbian 101
Our handy starter guide for
queer girls everywhere.
[38]
The pioneer of lesbian pulp: A closeted housewife who put
our sordid little secrets into dimestore paperbacks.
[39]
The 10 most underrated lesbian books.
[40]
NPR commentator slash author Marc Acito
shows us some gay-boy love.
[41]
The seven deadly sins of coming out.
And the 10 albums every lesbian should own.
[42]
Ten films to rent when you come out.
[43]
How to stay friends with your ex:
An easy guide to post-breakup camaraderie.
Who the Heck Is Ann Bannon?
She created a community through her lesbian pulp fiction in the '50s
and she's still going strong today. By Cheryl Craig
A
NN BANNON sounded the cry that started a wild revo,
lution in lesbian literature. She was a closeted housewife
who addressed her own sexuality through her writing and
made us all feel alive and safe enough to step out of our homopho,
bia and buy pulp fiction in the '50s and '60s. Her books, the Beeho
Brinker Chronicles,have been turned into an offBroadway show
produced by Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner and there's talk of a
Hollywood deal on the horizon.
Whatis pulpfiction?
Pulp fiction is a cover term for a genre of writing that sprang up
just before World War II, and continued as a successful source of
popular fiction through the 1960s. The lesbian pulps were a sort
of subgenre that coexisted with these inexpensive, widely available
novels, many of which were cowboy stories, cops,and,robbers, ro,
mances, science fiction and detective tales. The lesbian pulps played
a significant role in reassuring and informing isolated women that
they were neither alone in the world nor freakish nor unlovable.
Howdidyougetyourfirstlesbiannovelpublished,
in 1957?
I had the great good luck to establish a sort of witty, teasing corre,
spondence with Vin Packer, author of SpringFire and other books
with lesbian themes. Her real name turned out to be Marijane
Meaker, and, unexpectedly and quite wonderfully, she invited me
to New York with the promise of introducing me to her editor at
Gold Medal Books, Dick Carroll. Dick Carroll read the manuscript
of what was to become Odd Girl Out. I can't say he was thrilled to
death with it, but he saw enough prom,
ise to send me home with editorial in,
structions on how to shorten it and tell
the story of the two sorority sisters, Beth
and Laura. The task took me a couple of
months, and then I carried the manu,
script back to the Gold Medal offices
in the fall of 1956. Dick read it imme,
diately and, to my astonishment, it was
in print by the spring of 1957. They had
not altered a single word. I was incred,
ibly lucky.
Howmanylesbian
pulpfictionwriters
werethere?
There were not that many of us-perhaps
a dozen or so who accounted for some
200 lesbian pulp novels, all told. There
were even some men in the field. Most
of the men who wrote lesbian pulps did
so strictly for money and, equally strictly,
to titillate male readers. But the women
authors were writing entirely differently, with a deep empathy for
the women who read their books and a mission to give them hope.
Is pulpfictionstillaroundtoday?
There is certainly still some popular fiction available in various for,
mats. But we have moved on to other options-the graphic novel,
TV anthologies, the webzines. The rare combination of factors
that made the pulps such a smash hit may never come again. Their
success depended on the fact that they could be cheaply mass,pro,
duced using the acid,riddled, pulp paper that gave them their name
and that they were distributed all across the country, like a virtual
blanket of books. They were a critical lifeline for women in their
day. But in the new millennium, women have found one another:
We are out there on the front lines together. We know each other
and how to make contact. The lesbian pulps are now a fascinating
historical footnote. They're still great fun to read and an insight into
our past. But-my best guess-we shall not see their like again.
TheBeeboBrinkerChronicles
werea seriesofsixbooksyou
wrotebetween1957and1962.TherewerenoLGBT
bookstores
backthen.Wheredidfansbuyyournovels?
The books could be purchased in drugstores, bus stations, airports,
newsstands, train terminals. There were thousands of them and
they were everywhere-everywhere,
that is, except respectable
bookstores. All you had to do was screw up your courage, walk into
the pharmacy, scoop up the books you were dying to read and stash
them between a copy of Ladies'Home Journal and a box of Kotex.
The approach to the cash register could be terrifying, but most
Beebo Brinker. An archetype, maybe-but
of looking for her.
I never get tired
Willyouraward-winning
off-Broadway
production
of The
BeeboBrinkerChronicles
beproduced
anywhere
else?
What'sthelatestonthemovierumor?
clerks sold so many lesbian pulps-to both men and women, by
the way-that they never gave you a second glance.
BeeboBrinkeris a butchlesbian.
Wasshebasedonsomeone
you
knewthen,or moreanarchetype
fromyourimagination?
Beebo is my dream girl, although in the years since I first invented
her, I've seen some stunning young women who could certainly
play the part. I knew I needed a girl with a strong presence, someone
who had an electric effect on people. In the years since, I've described
her as a sort of blend of Tarzan star Johnny Weissmuller and classic
beauty Ingrid Bergman. Meld those two into one fabulous female,
put a sword and buckler on her and you've got my gutsy young butch,
I've heard the rumor, too! But there's many a slip between
the proposal and the movie marquee. It may or may
not happen. The cast was superb, and when the
play was given its second production this spring
by Broadway producer Harriet Leve, our execu~
tive producers were Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner.
We could hardly have asked for more, but, in fact,
there was more: Beebowon the GLAAD Award
as the best play in New York for the 2008~09 sea~
son. Our cup runneth over!
Whatmovieactorwill playtheroleof Beebo?
Hillary Swank? Chloe Sevigny? Charlize Theron? I promise to let
you know if and when
it happens. In fact,
you will find it hard to
hush me
The 10 Most Underrated Lesbian Books
1. TwoSerious
winningauthortoldcurve. "I thinkin someways
ladies,JaneBowles:
Thisearlypostmodern
stunnerfeaturesthe
it's the mostinteresting
of mynovels."
eponymous
two ladies:an uptight
5. TheChildGarden,
GeoffRyman:
A
womanwhobecomes
a courtesan
futuristfantasybythegaywriterGeoff
anda wealthywomanwhofallsin
Rymanabouta lesbianrelationship
lovewitha prostitute.
Ana'isNinwas
betweena womananda femalepolar
seriously
jealousof Bowles,
bear.It'ssetin post-apocalyptic
withgood
London.
reason.
Truly,blazingly
brilliant.
2. Nightwood,
6. Biological
DjunaBarnes:
Exuberance,
Lyrical
Bruce
prosethatcutsrightto theheartof
Bagemihl:
Thisground-breaking
troubledrelationships.
nonfiction
bookabouthomosexuality
Thisbook,
published
andbisexuality
in 1936,is dysfunctionally
in theanimalkingdom
will providemanya queergirlwithgoodfodder
addictiveenoughthatyou'lldevourNoraand
Robin'sloveaffairfromthestartto theelliptical, for conversations
aboutthe"naturalness"
of
heterosexuality.
fascinating
end.
7. FairPlay,ToveJansson:
Thisfinalnovelby
3. ThePassion
ofNewEve,Angela
Finno-Swedish
authorToveJansson,creatorof
Carter:Published
in 1977,thisfantastical
trans-dream
books,detailswith wit
of a novelcallsintoquestion
gender, the belovedMoomintro/1
Hollywood
andWestern
betweentwo artistic
cultureitself.Unmissable, andsparka relationship
oldwomen.LesbianauthorAli Smithsaysin
full of mind-blowing
imagery,multi-nippled
god"It is mystifyingthat it's taken
dessesanda feverishnewAmerican
mythology. the introduction:
4. Affinity,
SarahWaters:
Watersis bestknown so longfor so muchof Jansson'sveryfine
adultwritingto haveEnglishtranslationbut it's
for TippingtheVelvet
andFingersmith,
but
of perAffinityis herdarkestandmostunderappreciated madethe discovery
fectlymade,beautifully
judged
novel.Theliteraryequivalent
of ThePrestige
by
novelslike FairPlayakinto
Christopher
Priest,it hadmefooledlongbefore
comingacrossunearthed
the reveal."I'm veryfondof Affinity,"theprize-
treasure-what a find."
8.AbsentKisses,
Frances
Gapper:
A collection
of amazingexperimental
(andmostlylesbian)
shortstoriesthatarefull of surreal,slyandgentle
Britishwit.Whenpressed,
Gapperdescribed
her
bookto meas"a bookabouthalf-human
and
half-something-else
things."
9. TheEndof Gay:AndtheDeathof
Heterosexuality,
Bert
Archer:
Thisbookchallenges
modernconstructions
of gaynessandshouldbe readby
all youngqueerlings,
whether
they'reimmersedin a queer
studiesdegree,with a head
full of Foucault,
or theyjust
want somethinginterestingto sayto their
nextdate.
1O.NoPriestbutlove:Excerpts
Fromthe
DiariesofAnnelister,AnneLister:
A raunchy,
moving,empowering
journalfromthe early19th
century.Thesearethe experiences
of a woman
leadinga shamelessly
passionate
lesbianlife.
Myfavoriteis Listerrevelingin
herdelightat stickingherhand
up anotherwoman'spetticoats.
[KATHLEEN
BRYSON]
Why I Heart Lesbians
NPR commentator slash gay author Marc Acito likes us. He really likes us.
I
T HAPPENS every time I'm at a queer event-no matter
how sociable the occasion, the men and the women end up
standing apart, as if we were at a seventh-grade dance. Or a
Baptist church picnic. Except, with vegan snacks.
I suppose it makes sense. Gays and lesbians are each a sexual
minority interested in our own gender. Our only common interest
is that we're oppressed, which hardly makes for cheerful cocktail
conversation. Moreover, most of our time is spent surrounded by
the straight majority, so it's only natural that we gravitate to those
with a shared experience, particularly if the experience we're hoping to share is horizontal.
Still, not all of us are using cocktail conversation to seek cock or
tail. So you'd think we'd mix a little.
However, contrary to the notion that it's the lesbians who are
the separatists, I've noticed that it's the gay men who keep their
distance. Sure, occasionally we'll fawn over those dykes who fit the
mold of a gay diva-the lithe lipstick lesbian with the pointy shoes,
or the chatty ChapStick chula with the potty mouth. But we willfully ignore anyone who doesn't conform to the narrowly defined
concept of beauty that, let's face it, we invented. If you don't already
think gay men are misogynistic for designing four-inch stilettos,
you should hear what some of us say when you leave the room.
If a queer event is a seventh-grade dance, the gay guys are the
mean girls.
Personally, I've never understood the hostility. I'm a huge fan
of sincere singer-songwriters doing
acoustic sets. I have a particular fondness for tomboy femmes, so much so
that I accidentally hit on one at a
~c:=i
party. And, unlike my brethren who
shudder at the thought of "the fur
taco;' I actually understand the significance of the Scissor Sisters' name.
However, even I have my limits. I can
(I
appreciate that lesbians might be appalled that Judi Deneb's character
in Notes on a Scandal reinforced the
stereotype of the psychotic, predatory dyke; but for sheer camp value,
it's the best Bette Davis movie never
made.
So the question remains: Why
do gay men, well, suck?
For starters, I think it's genetics.
The fact that queer people partner
with those of the same gender only
widens the gender gap. Unlike our
straight counterparts, we don't have
spouses who offer a counterbalance.
\ l~
\
(~
So two women end up reinforcing the traditionally feminine values
of community, family and the greater good, while two men make
lots of money, shop for uncomfortable mid-century modern furniture and drink Red Bull all night at the White Party. I know it's a
gross generalization, but think about it: Do you personally know
any lesbian Log Cabin Republicans? Yeah, me neither.
According to my friends who work for gay civil rights organizations, the lesbian contribution to the scales of justice has far
outweighed that of gay men for the last 20 years. This disproportion could be attributed in part to the loss of a generation of men to
AIDS, but you'd think the crisis would've mobilized the rest of us
in even larger numbers. But, no. Not while there's a sale at Saks!
Perhaps lesbians are simply braver than gay men. After all, an
adolescence spent with a field hockey puck whizzing toward your
head toughens you up more than, say, doing the twist in the chorus
of the spring production of Bye Bye Birdie.
But there are encouraging signs of change. On the state level,
civil rights organizations are showing a surge in male leadership-44 percent are now run by men. While I'd like to believe
this statistic shows that we're finally following the example of our
Sapphic sisters, I worry that it's the 21st century equivalent of Gis
returning home after World War II: "Thanks for riveting, Rosie.
We'll take it from here:'
Of course, none of this makes for cheerful cocktail conversation. But i£ as a minority community, we're going to continue to
make progress toward equal rights,
gays and lesbians are going to have
to clear the air, so we don't clear
the room.
An editor of a regional queer
paper once told me that if she wants
to be certain women will read a
particular issue, she'll put an "action
shot" on the cover. It doesn't matter
what they're doing-marching, running, dancing-as
long as women
are on the move, lesbian readers
want to know about it.
I'll give you one guess what gay
men like to see on the front page.
Here's a hint-it gives new meaning
to the phrase "hard news:'
Presumably, men are from Mars
and women are from Venus. But I
think on-the-move lesbians are actually from Mercury, the messenger
of good things to come, while gay
men ... well, we've just got our heads
up
To 10 Albums Ever Lesbian Must Own
ChloeLikedOlivia,
TwoNiceGirls:Because
fromKathyKorniloff's
insightful"Eleven,"
to
MegHentges'
tear-jerker"ThrowIt AllAway,"to
PamBarger'ssalient"Swimming
in Circles"andGretchen
Phillips'
lesbianrocker"TheQueerSong,"
ChloeLikedOliviais a magnificentlyentertaining
collection.
Self-Titled,
MelissaEtheridge:
Because
therewill nevera greater
songof anguishthan"LiketheWayI Do."Also,
hello,it's Etheridge's
firstalbum.Duh!
Blue,JoniMitchell:Because
"A CaseofYou"will
alwaysbeoneof themostpoignant,
heart-rendingsongsin theannalsof modernmusic.
Self-Titled,
TracyChapman:
Criticsandmusicfansbarelyknew
howto reactwhentheyheard
"FastCar."A sighwent'roundthe
world:"Ohmy,thissongblowsme
away.Whois thatsinging?"
Ta111 lll'la:i
LittleEarthquakes,
Tori
Amos:Because
everysingle
songon it is absolutely
stunning.Enough
said.
Self-Titled,
IndigoGirls:
Because,
althoughit's actuallytheirsecondalbum,thisis theonethatreally
startedit allforAmyRayandEmilySaliers.
The
harmonies,
theguitarsandthe magicof thisalbum's10 songsmakeit relevantand
poignant,
20 yearsafterits release.
WhenI WasA Boy,JaneSiberry:
Because
this is perhapsmyfavorite
albumof alltime,byoneof themost
divinesongwriters
everto roamthis
earth.Siberryhasanotherworldlyvoiceanda waywithwordsthatsets
herapart.
Freedom,
MelissaFerrick:Because
thetitle
trackis succinctly
liberatingandthreesongs
laterFerricklashesoutwiththein-your-face
"SomeKindaNerve""Drive,"couldsteamup
windowsinAntarctica.
Hymnsof the49thParallel,
k.d.lang:Lang
bringsto lightthesongwriting
brillianceof
NeilYoung,
JoniMitchell,JaneSiberry,Bruce
Cockburn
andLeonardCohen,
to namesomeof
herfellowCanadians
featuredon 49th. If I had
to chooseonesongasthe
centerpiece
of thisrecord,it
wouldbelang'sinterpretationof Cohen's
"Hallelujah."
Dilate,AniDifranco:
Because
"Napoleon"
is brilliant,"Amazing
Grace"is brilliant,
"Shameless"
is verybrilliantandwho
hasn'tbeltedoutthedelightfulrefrainof "Fuck
You(Untouchable
Face)"moretimesthatyoucan
shakea stickat?[AtMSELL. PONrt]
The 7 Deadly Sins of Coming Out
Love is blind. Lesbian love is hallucinatory. By Gillian Kendall
A
NYONE WHO expresses a flicker of queer inclination
soon gets inundated with advice: Online, in books, at potlucks and in bars, experienced dykes clamor to tell newbies
how to flirt, what to wear, when to use the secret handshake and
why to avoid or embrace everything from vegetarianism to S/M.
Without so much as asking a girl out for a drink, a wannabe can
learn everything, from who wears Nike Air Force Ones to how to
purchase and operate a dildo.
Coming out in my early 30s, I inhaled advice like oxygen, yet
still did everything wrong. With the full advantage of hindsight, I
advise anyone peeking around the closet door to avoid these seven
deadly sins:
Gluttony: She-let's call her Torch-was an epicurean Taurus, and
I, a show-offy Leo. For one of our first evenings I made parmesan
balsamic chicken on a bed of jasmine steamed snow peas, followed
by iced coffee topped with Ben & Jerry's. Many suitable wines were
included. Those late-night drinks contained espresso, not the decaf I'd planned to use, and so we were both up till dawn, roaming
around our separate houses, drunkenly obsessing about each other.
Whenever we got together, I plied her with sugar, flattery and
other intoxicants, hoping she'd drop her clothes and her reserva-
tions. We drank spiced rum in the winter and ate mango popsicles
on summer afternoons. We got hotter and hungrier, our appetites
never satisfied. I spent my student loans on gourmet Indian takeout, English cheese, high-end marijuana and fair-trade chocolate,
just trying to tempt her.
Lust: Late one night in the driveway of my bo ,friend's house, I
asked Torch to kiss me goodnight. She murmured, Ihat would be
OK;' before reaching for me. Moving into her arms and putting my
mouth on hers felt like stepping into my true sel£
For the next two years, I thought about nothing except having
sex with her, something we did only in dreams, fantasies and heated
conversations. We made out like teenagers in cars, in alleyways and
in the bed she shared with Linda-her partner of four years-or
the futon I shared with my fiance. We wrote each other lurid notes,
porn and poetry; we frottaged through our clothes and wet each
other's thighs, but we never technically got it on. The frustration
only intensified the drama and desire.
Greed: Idiotically, I felt sure lei get to be with Torch simply because
I wanted it so much. Worse, I saw no impediment in the person
of Torch's long-time lover. In unmitigated ignorance about lesbian
January/February 2009
•
relationships, I assumed that alternative
sexuality included polyamory: I honestly believed that, in the welcoming spirit of woman-loving sisterhood, Linda would share Torch
with me. Ignorance is forgivable, but such disrespect is not. I was not
only unkind but borderline abusive to the woman I thought should
treat me like a sister.
I sabotaged her relationship by telling every lesbian in town what
Torch and I were up to. I called their house and hung up.
Sloth: I was too caught up in trailing Torch, mooning around and
Pride: I considered myself more attractive than Linda. Certainly, I was
younger, better educated and potentially richer. Furthermore, Linda
didn't even like chocolate. It just didn't make sense for Torch to stay
with her. Ego-driven dummy that I was, I pursued this nebulous
affair for two years, in which time Torch repeatedly told me that
it was over, but alternatively said she loved me and was breaking
up with Linda. We'd go for weeks without making eye contact,
and then wind up hiding in a faculty bathroom, snogging and
crying. It ended only when I made a cross-country move.
masturbating to make it to my pesky job as a graduate
teaching assistant. I was probably the only instructor
of English composition ever to receive student complaints about so many cancelled classes.
Wrath: Hell hath no fury like a Leo scorned.
Each time Torch told me that she couldn't see
me anymore, that she was working things out
with her partner, I believed it less. For years, she
always came back to me, in secret, full of guilt and
lies and furtive love. Eventually I realized I was
not the second priority in her life, but the 10th
or 11th, after her partner, her job, her cats, her
second cousins, her hay fever and her junk mail.
Envy:Torch was a smarter lesbian than I was, with a comprehensive
worldview and a butch stride. I memorized a list of sexy things she'd
said; I read the books and listened to the music she liked. I didn't just
want to be with Torch, I wanted to be her.
To step out of the closet in style, just do the opposite of
everything I did. Embrace the lesbian virtues of bravery,
integrity and respect. And may the goddess oflesbian unions
bless you and keep you, and help you enter the heavenly
realm of romance.
Be ond Desert Hearts: 10 Films to Rent When You Come Out
Yourstraightfriends
FriedGreenTomatoes:
andyourmotherwill say,"What?That'snota
theydon'tknow
lesbianmovie!"That'sbecause
Ruth'snoteto
howto watchit. Justremember
ldgie:"Whitherthougoest,I will go.Whitherthou
lodgest,I will lodge."Andthe scenein the river?
Hello!Andif youhaven'twatchedthisonein a
while,it's a greatoneto revisitwitha fresheye,
in searchof all the"signs."
A teenagButI'm a Cheerleader.
no less-is
er-and a cheerleader,
camp
sentto gayrehabilitation
afterherfamilynoticesshe'sa fan
of women'ssoccer,lovesMelissa
andis a vegetarian.
Etheridge
It's a totallycampyflick featuringCathyMoriartyandRuPaul
asthecamp'sstaff,CleaDuvall
asa fellowcamperandNatasha
Lyonneasthe cheerleader.
Bound.Gritty,tough,stylish
andthrilling,thiscrimedrama
brothers(thoseMatrix
fromtheWachowski
guys)bringstogethera toughex-con(thesultry
anda mobster'sgirlygirlfriend
GinaGershon)
Tilly)whoschemeto changetheir
(Jennifer
livesin morewaysthanone.(And,bonus,check
outin Preyfor Rock& Roll,whereshe
Gershon
frontsanall-girlrockbandcalledClamDandy.)
the VelvetIf yourstraightfriends
Tipping
costumedramasand
swoonoverMerchant-Ivory
youwishyoucould,too,here'soneto try.This
novelby
basedontheacclaimed
BBCminiseries
SarahWatersis striking,sexyandsad.
GoFish'.So,you'vecomeout,you'restill not
readyto stepinsidea lesbianbarbutyouwant
to hear"reallesbians"talk.Thenrentthis movie
Turner(whoany
fromRoseTrocheandGuinevere
L Wordfanwill tell youaretwowomento pay
story
attentionto).Thislooking-for-love
youaccidentally
playslikea conversation
stumbledintoandnooneaskedyouto
leave-and that'sa goodthing.
If TheseWallsCouldTalk2: Thistrio
of talesfeaturesverydifferentstoriesof
lesbiancouplesspanningseveraldecades.
Fromthe sadnessof a widowedpartner's
is heartbreakRedgrave
loss(Vanessa
of
ing},to the exploration
feminismandgenderroles
in the 1970s(Michelle
to a
Williamsis spunky),
giddycoupletryingto get
pregnant(SharonStone
this
andEllenDeGeneres},
is a movingfilm. Infact,if
yourmomis havinga tough
timewrappingherheadaroundyourcoming
out,it mighthelpto haveherwatchtheVanessa
segment.Butonlythatsegment.Don't
Redgrave
her.
overwhelm
ImagineMe & You:Callingall lesbiansdivorced
is walkingdown
frommen:A bride(PiperPerabo)
theaisleto hergroom.Onthewaythere,she
of Fox's
lockseyeswiththeflorist(LenaHeadey
TheSarah
Terminator:
ConnorChronicles).
hermarriage
Suddenly,
doesn'tseemlikeit will
workanymore.
MySummerof love:
girl
A working-class
Press)and
(Nathalie
teen(EmilyBlunt,pre-DevilWears
a privileged
Prada)crosspathsona hotsummerdayin the
Theirseasontogetheris a
Englishcountryside.
steamyone.
Yes,lesbianmoviescankickbutt.If
O.E.B.S.:
actionandhavea
Angels-style
youlike Charlie's
senseof humoronthe snarky
side,this is a fun oneabout
girls
a groupof prep-school
whoaresecretagents- and
possiblymore.
SavingFace:Here'sa fun
coming-outstory:A young
AsianAmericandoctor
(MichelleKrusiec)is struggling
with howto tell hertraditionalfamilyshe'sa
mom
Thenherwidowed,middle-aged
lesbian.
(JoanChen)getspregnantandwon'ttell anyone
whothefatheris.Talkaboutpullingfocus.
[ROBINMINER-SWARTZ]
How to Stay Friends With Your Ex
rt:,,~
A 10-step progam to camaraderie after coupling.
By Jen Berkowitz
I
T MAY take serious work,
but becoming friends with
your ex can be achieved, if
you really, really, really want to.
Step 1: Face the music.
Get the 411 on your situation. Is
it really over between you? A few
telltale signs that your ex is not
really your ex:
• You're still having sex
• You're still living together
• Her razor is still in your shower
+She meets up with you on your
dates
• You've still got your photos of
her on display
Step 2: Make a dean break.
Let's go back a moment. You've already gone through the agony of
breaking up-now rip off the Band-Aid. Yes, it's going to hurt. Yes,
this person is and was your best friend. Yes, maybe this person is
in a lot of pain and you want to be there for her. Guess what? You
can't make it better. Trudge around with your ex to get your mutual
needs met and you will reek of baggage. It sounds terribly unromantic but, sadly, you can live without this person, and you've got to try.
Otherwise, neither of you will really move on. You have to take a
break from all things ex-coffee shops, bars, even mutual friends. If
you want to be "real" friends, then consider walking through the fire
and saying a sincere goodbye, in the interest of the future.
Step 3: Resist drama.
Step 4: Resist drama.
Step 5: Resist drama.
Step 6: Get your own life.
It's rough sometimes-but
in some cases it's a breeze. Either way,
you've got to get into your own single life. Give yourself time: Mourn,
draw, jerk off 10 times a day, whatever. When you finally get into the
swing of things, it's fun to get your groove on. You'll lose weight (or
gain it back); you'll think about having sex with other people; you'll
do your own thing. Yes, it's kind of fantastic. Or yes, it's really rough.
iJJ
J
c:vi
I
I
If it stays rough, stay at Step 6 until it is fantastic.
Step 7: Redefine your relationship.
You're finally ready to talk again? Great. Try it over coffee or in an
email, nothing crazy. Step 7 requires exercising self-restraint
and minding your manners. Do
not ask if your ex is dating other
people. Stick to, "How are you?
How's work? How's your family?" Keep it short. The goal in
these interactions is to get in
and out without bleeding all
over anyone, including yourself
See how much you can handle
and let the friendship grow from
there. You can go through Step 7
for a month. You can go through
it for a year. Let it breathe.
Step 8: Resist drama.
Right about now is when you
might want to mix it up-don't.
Mix things up and you'll end up back at Step 2. Your ex is not your
new singlehood coach. In fact, your ex is not your new anything.
Fight the urge to revert back to comfortable codependency. If you're
still feeling funky, then let it breathe a little more. You've come this
far already-you really can do this.
Caveat: Beware a re-emergence of the"issues:'
Now that you have had some distance, it's OK if someone wants
to rehash something or get an old resentment out of the way. The
idea is that you are now ready, with distance, to hear it. The key word
is "hear": If you want to get through this, you will have to shut up and
listen. Yes, she may be talking about how awful you were. Strangely,
there's not always a reason to defend yourself This 1r ·m important
point in working toward your friendship-getting honest.
Step 9. Stick to the boundaries.
Ladies, once you've become friends, resist the temptation to act
the way you might have in the past. This means no texting "I really
wanted to kiss you;' or "You look really amazing" afi:er you hang out.
Put your phone in your pocket and go boldly down the street and
into the unknown-you do not own your ex-lover anymore and it's
going to be OK.
Step 10. Know that one day you'll meet your ex's new lover.
Don't mess this up. Don't talk about when you and your ex were together. Act like a normal person who has a life, and acknowledge your
ex and her lover as a couple. Be happy you're in each other's lives-isn't
that why you wanted to be friends with your ex in the first
January/February
2009 I
Black women come out, quiet as it's kept. By Alison Peters
e black community there are some things so taboo they
being gay. Most black families I
know have at least one gay member, but that information is a
secret kept so quiet that it feels almost like a betrayal to delve
into it. For the women I spoke to for this article-whether
they have religious family members with "don't ask, don't tell"
attitudes, or simply because they were taught to not speak
about the thing that made them different-coming out was
not an option. Parents might disown you; the community or
the church might turn its back. Whatever the reason, many
black women keep their sexuality a secret, behind closed
doors, on the down low. This is their story.
Kamai Warner describes herself as a "heavily tattooed,
copper-colored, Mohawk-wearing, rock-star-wannabe, softball-playing black lesbian" and admits she has always known
that there was something different about her. Raised in the
South in a family of Baptist preachers, Warner attended
church five to seven days a week as a youngster, and remembers her first girl kiss when she was 9. Caught by her mom
and spanked, she was never told what she'd done wrong. "I
I
j st aren't talked about-like
always thought it was amazing that [the preachers in my family] could get up in front of 50-plus people in a church and
talk, but they couldn't sit down and talk to someone young
that they were raising as one of their own ... about what was
going on in my life;' Warner reveals. Pardy to prove herself
"normal" by any means necessary, she began sexually experimenting with boys when she was around 13 years old, even
as she continued to play house and have sleepovers with her
girlfriends. It was a pattern of denial and secrecy that would
shape her life until very recently.
Warner could never confide in anyone in her family. "To
this day;' Warner says of the aunt who is like a mother to her,
"She hates gay people ... If she knew [about my sexuality] she'd
alienate me, keep the kids away.It's scary:' Growing up, Warner
always heard rumors of a lesbian half-sister and a transvestite brother, but everything she overheard was negative-no
one wanted to be associated with them and neither, Warner
decided, did she. "When I turned 20 I drove out to visit my
sister and talk to our dad;' Warner remembers. He said to her,
about her very out half-sister, "She's not my daughter. Do you
know anybody gay in this familyt
When Warner moved out of her aunt's house to live on her
own, she was still publicly dating men, while secretly enjoying her first full-blown affair with a woman. At 18, Warner
drifted toward, and subsequently moved in with, a 28-yearold man. "But when he was gone, I'd find chat lines to meet
women, sometimes even have them over to our house. It was
a risk I had to take because it was a feeling that wouldn't leave
me alone:' The relationship lasted three years, and Warner
ended it because she was worried he would find out about
her affairs.
Warner's family refused to consider the possibility that
she was gay and were thrilled when she started seriously dating another man. When he asked her to marry him, Warner
accepted, knowing how happy it would make her family. "I
wasn't in love when I married; I did it because my family was
going to be so proud and I was always the black sheep. I just
wanted them to love me and be happy:' But in less than a
year, her husband became physically and mentally abusive. It
was just another secret she kept from her family. "They were
so happy for me; I never wanted them to know what was
happening:'
Warner was finally able to confide in a good friend, an older
gay man who realized the seriousness of her situation. "I told
him, 'I've been with women-I think I'm gay, but I'm married:" He helped her move out and supported her through the
separation and divorce. Warner left her marriage with nothing but the will to finally live life on her own terms. Three
years later, in her new home in Royal Oak, Mich., Warner
says she realized it was time to stop fighting and let things
be. She gravitated toward the gay folks in her new locale; they took her to the
clubs ("It was just like Christmas!"), introduced her to curve and schooled
her on Pride.
Warner's one wish is that her family had been able to accept her for who
she was. She thinks it might've helped to give her the stable life that she'd been
craving. She's started to come out to her new friends, but not her family."I feel
like t'1ere's such a big part of me that my family will never know because of
the way they are. You're my family, you love me, you should be able to accept
whoever I'm with!" Considering her new job, her new friends and her new
attitude, Warner sums it all up: "So, I guess, here I am:'
Shauna Felix (not her real name) had a similar experience. "When I was
a little girl, I used to play in the closet with my best friend;' she recalls. "We'd
pull out The Joy of Sex and act out the pictures;' she laughs. "I ask my friends
today-didn't everyone play like that? And they say,'No, that was just you: I
just thought it was normal, something all little girls did:' When she was 13,
there was a butch girl at Felix's school, a tomboy who made it known that she
was gay. She liked Felix, the feeling was reciprocated and it turned into her first
relationship with a girl.
"One day we got caught in the schoolyard kissing. One of the school
administrators was a friend of my mom and told her. My parents were irate:'
They put Felix in counseling and told her that if she was gay she'd never have
any friends. "It was horrible;' Felix remembers. "My dad was raised as a very
strict Baptist:' Felix wasn't raised in the church, but always understood that
the family religion was coloring her father's opinions about her sexuality. Felix
ran away to her girlfriend's house, and for a year and a half they had what
amounted to a full-blown relationship-going
to school, eating dinner together and doing homework. Felix assumed that her girlfriend's mom would
accept that she was a lesbian, but when actually confronted with it, she got
upset. "She was like, 'What the hell are you doing? Get out!'" Felix remembers.
"It was hostile:'
From a very young age, the experiences Felix had with other girls, her burgeoning sexuality and the reaction of her parents kept her closeted, especially
around family."I had lots of cousins, and when we'd hang out I'd play it off like
I liked guys:' By high school Felix was back living with her family, sneaking
girls into the house when no one was home, going to gay clubs and discovering the gay scene. Then Felix went off to Mills College, an all-women's college
in Oakland, Cali£ "If I'd been more comfortable with myself, and out;' Felix
laments, "it would've really been an experience. But I pretty much kept to
myself. People probably knew, but we just wouldn't talk about it:' Like Warner,
Felix didn't want to make other people uncomfortable by talking about her
sexuality. Based on the way her parents reacted, she decided it was something
she'd better not talk about.
Things changed when Felix was the victim of a violent crime in her early
20s. "It made my dad realize how much he loves me, when he realized how
close it could have come to things going really wrong. Now he wants to be
there and know about my life:' A private person by nature, Felix is working on
becoming less sensitive to what other people think.
"The black community can be crazy. Parts of this world are great and
wonderful, but there's the other part where we're really hurting each other;'
Felix muses, echoing a sentiment shared by Warner, who has finally got to
a point where she could say to her co-workers, "I don't like boys:' She says,
"Everybody's different. Everyone white I work with is OK with this; my black
co-workers still talk to me but keep their distance ... I'm at a point where I
want to get to the bottom of why people in my community, in my family, won't
accept my being gay:'
It's a question with no easy answers.
adi on Young is a trifecta. A porn director, fetish superstar and the owner of the feminist art gallery Femina Potens
in San Francisco, she is constantly busy raising energy,
awareness and heart rates around the country. We pick her
brain about making porn, running an art gallery and having
ti
orgasms.
s
Youownandruna feministart gallery,you'rea globally
starandyou'rea porndirectorand
bondage
recognized
Whichcamefirst?
producer.
I
They pretty much happened at the same time. I created the
gallery and had already done a little bit of nude modeling,
but I started taking it seriously when I had an art gallery
to support and knew that I needed the income in order to
produce my art and help create visibility for other women
and queer artists. I've never been afraid of the two worlds
1
r
This lesbian feminist pornographer has us all tied up. By Courtney Trouble
being one. Instead, I embrace panels, interviews and discussions that debate art versus porn and their relevance [in] our
community. I choose to make waves in feminism one orgasm
at a time.
artshowsthatturnsyouon?
Whatis it aboutartandcurating
What really gets me hot about curating art shows is working with brilliant artists and watching their work grow and
develop through the years. I love bringing artists and community together and creating dialogue in the community
through art. It also makes me hot to see artists' confidence
grow around their art, and for women and trans artists to
realize that their art is worth something and that they are
worth something and that their work is appreciated.
FeminaPotens?
Whatareyoumostproudof,concerning
I really feel like I'm most proud of the fact that we have
acquired so much visibility and outreach and that
we are able to be such a key resource to the San
Francisco queer community and beyond. That's
what we are really here for. Our volunteers and staff
have tripled in the past couple of months, our audience base is continuing to grow, we are now curating
at venues that are not just at our amazing storefront
in the Castro, but also at spaces around the city, like
the Center for Sex and Culture, Good Vibrations,
One Taste, and Black and Blue Tattoo.
and
Whendidyoufirstgetintonudemodeling
bondage?
46
I curve
I first got into nude fine-art erotic modeling when I was 21. I
remember I was back from a college internship and in Ohio
for a couple of months and looking through the local paper. I
saw an ad for nude modeling and I kept going back to it and
reading it over and over. It really excited me to think about
someone taking photos of me nude. I still have those photos.
They make me smile. I love those photos.
s
I
Youperformin pornandputouta few of yourownDVDsthrough
MadisonBound.Wasit yourprimarygoalto bea directorand
producer?
Back when I first wandered into my first nude photo shoot, I wasn't
really planning on directing when I grew up. But after about a year of
shooting for other producers, and as I continued to write more erotic
stories for the Internet, I really wanted to see my stories coming to life.
I also really wanted to see more porn and erotica that I thought was
hot. I think it is important to get the queer view of sexuality out in the
world. And as a director I do have more control in order to create real,
honest sexual connections on film, with intelligent scripts about the
art world, [and the] queer, kink and literary world.
Howdoesthe pornyoudirectandproduce
differfromthepornyou
arecastto performin?
When I'm only performing I can show up and only have to concentrate on performing-cultivating
that sexual energy and connection
between myself and my fellow performer. I go there and listen to the
director and what concept they have for the video and give all of myself to the scene. But directing and performing in my own works can
be somewhat stressful, as part of me is thinking about if the photographer or videographer is getting the shot that I want, which is why I
try to do as much preproduction planning as possible.
Is therea specificreasonwhyyou'vechosenqueerness
andsexas a
soapboxratherthanotherpoliticalconcerns?
It is an art to open yourself up to another being and to pour your energy
and yourself into them. To breathe life and orgasm into another person, another art form. To lee go of ego long enough to let something
honest and uncensored occur. I think when we can make this happen
it is revolutionary. I think giving visibility to queer sexuality and to
queer art is crucial and is brave and necessary. I've chosen this soap
box because it is part of who I am. I would be untrue to myself and my
community if I was doing anything else. This is something I've always
felt drawn to do and so I do, with all my heart ... and
Straight men can pay for sex anytime
of the day and just about anywhere
in the world. This has always made
me bitter. Why don't lesbians solicit
prostitutes? Could we if we wanted to?
Horny lesbian that I am, I decided to
take it upon myself to try.
I began where all searches for sex
begin: the Internet. "Lesbian prostitute" turned up YouTube videos and
rumors about Heather Mills, a decadeold article by a lesbian sex worker
discussing a lesbian client who tried
to cook breakfast for her and didn't
understand why she had to fork over
cash for their previous night's romp.
If the Internet is any indication, it
seems that, whether due to ethical
considerations or a lower sex drive, lesbians just don't seem to
have the need to pay for sex. I, however, was determined to hire a
prostitute.
I looked at all the sex ads in the back of the local papers and
on the Web. I'm not that picky but I insisted on weeding out
the unattractive women, the teens and the girls who looked like
they might be sex slaves from overseas. I stuck to the ads with
pictures, actual phone numbers and specific information about the
sex worker's assets.
Left with a list of about a dozen women, I picked up the phone
and started dialing away. My hope was to find someone for that
evening-before I lost the nerve to go through with it. Prostitute
after prostitute rejected me. They didn't trust a woman's voice and
thought I was surely law enforcement. And, if I wasn't a cop and
I wasn't calling for my boyfriend, whatever could I be looking for,
they wondered.
At this point I was frustrated. I decided to expand my search
to include transgender prostitutes. There were no trans men listed
anywhere so I settled on trans women, who also turned me down.
I was ready to give up when one of the trans women called me
back and agreed to take me on as a client. We agreed on $150 for
sex. Her voice, like the others, sounded hesitant on the phone,
but I assured her I was not looking to exploit, just to explore. I met
her on a street corner in New York City, shaking in my boots with
fear and anticipation, until she whisked me away to her apartment,
where she fed me booze and porn to loosen me up and create
a mood. I was tense but slowly relaxed and allowed myself to
honestly admire her long legs, tight, feminine waistline and large,
voluptuous chest. She was indeed hot.
The challenge, though, was that she was pre-op and still had
boy parts between her legs. I tried to be open-minded but I just
wasn't turned on. I could tell she felt the same as she had a boyfriend and her regular clients were all male. She admitted that a
woman had never solicited her for sex for herself before. We had
what was, at best, an awkward entanglement. Admittedly, what I
enjoyed most was our light conversation throughout the experience and the titillation of actually having gone through with it. I
was more concerned with the socio-cultural implications of being
a lesbian John (er, Jane) than I was about getting off.
In the end, I suppose I answered my own question in the quest
for equality. I was proof that lesbians enjoy sex more when a human being and her whole life come with it. Turns out, I'm OK with
leaving the detached, physical, not to mention pricey, experience
to the men. [AWSON STEINBERG]
January/February
2009
I 47
Electrocabar sen ation and lesbian thor Dahlia Schweitzer
finds out what it's like to party with the Playboy bunnies.
for the year that has come before. I also said something about
the magic of the holidays because, well, I wanted my free
ticket). Then I forgot about the whole thing in less time than
I'd taken to fill out the form. Imagine my surprise when I got
an email a couple weeks later that I'd been accepted:
Thank you for your applicationto attend this year'.sPlayboy
PajamaParty.Yourapplicationhas beenapprovedand accepted.
Your ticket is NON-TRANSFERABLE. Pleaseprint out this
confirmationand bringit to check-inwithyour photo ID.
s we have a VIP ticket, everyone is instructed via email,
t park in a parking garage in Century City. From there,
a shuttle will take us to the mansion. I get to the parking
garage at 9 p.m., half an hour after check-in begins. Quite a
few people, mostly men, are there already. I don't want to make
eye contact, but I look them over out of the corner of my eye.
Men apparently feel comfortable wearing pajamas to this kind
of party. Some are wearing robes. They are all in their mid to
late 20s. Everyone, with two exceptions, is white.
I try to pretend I am completely unfazed by the fact that
I am half-naked as I walk through a parking garage. I get my
sparkly pink Playboy bracelet and board the shuttle bus. I sit
by myself and try to look as ifl don't care. I am not looking to
get laid. I am not looking for an excuse to show off my tits. I
am there because I want to watch the action. I want to see Hef
and Kendra, Bridget and Holly. I want to see how this other
half parties. I want to see what the Playboy myth has to offer,
now. I want to see who else is standing in line to get their piece
of the action. I want to see Paris Hilton and Scott Baio.
Turns out, you can apply online for complimentary
invites to select Playboyparties. This one is the annual Playboy
Pajama Party. I didn't think much about it while filling out
the application, absentmindedly selecting a photo to upload,
answering a couple questions, describing the month in which
I'd want to be a Playboy centerfold and why (December,
because that's my birthday month, a time of beginnings for
the new year ahead and a time of closure and accomplishment
48
I curve
Everyone else would pay $1500, I was going for free-no
video cameras please. I couldn't say no. But I hadn't even bothered to try to recruit a companion, and now it was too late.
It was go alone or not go at all.
I had no idea what to wear. Bra and undies? No way, not
to a party I'm going to solo. I contemplated several different
options (librarian look? Men's dress shirt and lacy pantiesn
before raiding my roommate's closet in a panic. She had one
slip that worked perfectly. Flirty, flowery, short-sexy but not
too provocative. I figured I'd fit right in.
We finally snake our way up the narrow driveway and are
deposited in front of the famous mansion, limos and luxury
cars everywhere. We never enter the mansion, going straight
to a tent area set up beside the famous Grotto. The tent area
seems trashy and cheap. Some girls in bikinis are dancing
around poles. They're not dancing well. Tables are set up with
white chairs around them. There is a makeshift bar on one
end. The environment feels far from Playboy fabulous. It feels
like a bar mitzvah. I move on.
I go to the bathroom for lack of something better to do.
girls there (blonde hair, big
There are a couple Playboy-looking
outfits and which pretheir
about
tits, orange skin), talking
has the early onset of
One
on.
are
scription medications they
osteoporosis. No one is doing cocaine. They nod at me as I go in
and nod again as I go out. I get a (plastic) cup of water from the
open bar and decide it is time to be a little more aggressive.
"Hi;' I say to two tiny and beautiful girls who are standing
up against one of the small tables near the bar. "Mind if I hang
out with you guys? I'm here alone:'
"Not at all;' they both declare enthusiastically, and I notice
strong Southern accents.Turns out, these lovely ladies flew in
from Atlanta. They'd arrived the night before and were taking
early flights the next day to make it home in time for Mother's
Day. One woman, we'll call her Kate, has two children, both
under the age of 5. The other, Lindsay, has one. Kate is married but has chosen not to wear her wedding ring that night.
See, Kate has wanted to be in Playboy since she was 12, so
when she also got a complimentary invite through the same
application process I'd used, she got Lindsay to apply as well. It was a oncein-a-lifetime opportunity, they told me. Who knows who they'll meet?
Maybe Hef will spot them-if he shows up. Whatever happens, they are
dressed for it. Kate even apologizes for her G-string as I walk behind her.
They know how many girls Hef has discovered at his own parties, and they
want to do everything they can to make it happen, before returning to their
families and dental hygienistjobs.
They tell me they've talked to Pauly Shore, and he's been totally out of it,
and isn't it sad, while I just look around for Jason Statham, who has recently
arrived. At first, all I see is Ian Ziering, which makes me appreciate the true
B level of the party. Is he the biggest star here? Where is Hef? Jason? Scott
Baio? Charlie Sheen?
Even Paris Hilton isn't here, apparently having given up even Playboy
in favor of playing Monopoly with her new boyfriend. Hef still hasn't made
an appearance. Holly, Bridget and Kendra are nowhere to be seen. I search
for Jason, desperate to elevate the evening, however marginally. I find him
by the pool, flirting with two Playboyclones. I realize he is short. To add
insult to injury, he is wearing sunglasses with his black silk robe. He clearly
thinks he is a happening star at a happening parry, and for some reason that
saddens me. I decide not to go talk to him after all.
Making a loop around the tent area, I notice one girl I've spotted before. She
is beautiful and charismatic. Laughing with a group of friends, she is showing
off her perfectly chiseled biceps. I stare. The second she is alone, I swoop.
"You have amazing biceps;' I tell her.
"Tennis:• She giggles. "Or genetics:'
Susannah is an aspiring actor, formerly married to a reality TV star. She
is busy avoiding Ian Ziering because of a one night stand they'd had, after
which she blew him off. She tells me his house reminded her of Portlandbut that's not enough of a reason to date, she explains, laughing. When she
hears I'm a writer, she leans in real close, and, her mouth inches from my
face, says, "Will you send me something? I want to produce. A short film:'
She pauses meaningfully, her eyes staring into mine. "Something intense.
Dramatic. A real role. For me:'
Despite the ridiculousness of the situation, she gives me her email.
"Promise me you'll write:' She takes hold of my hand between two of hers.
'Tll be waiting:'
Her hand is so warm, I exclaim about the heat of her skin. 'Tm allergic
to the cold;' she tells me. 'Tm on medication which keeps me warm:'
I'd never heard that one before, but there was a lot I hadn't heard before
this night. I am struck by the idea that yet another seemingly healthy, beautiful girl is on prescription medication. I am also amazed at the number
of women so eager to parade about half-naked, quite clearly for their own
enjoyment, for the pleasure of their own skin, for the opportunity to taste
the Playboy dream, even if only for one night. And clearly Hef doesn't even
have to be there for these men and women to buy into the dream he still
represents.
But Hef never does show. Neither
does Scott Baio.
Withhernewbookaboutnon-monogamy
Opening
,
Up:A Guideto Creating
Forexample,
if yousayyouaregoingto
andSustaining
OpenRelationships
(CleisPress),
thelesbian
sexpert
Tristan
seesomeone
a fewtimesa yearandcall
Taormino
offerssomepractical
tipsabout,well,opening
up.Relationships,
heroncea month,thenyoumusthonestly
that
is.Taormino's
guidechronicles
thewidespread
existence
of,andinterestin,
committo doingjustthat."
non-monogamorelationships
us
andexposes
society's
general
hypocrisy
Ontheflipside,
about
Taormino
gaveus
stepping
out.Infact,Taormino
says,"Non-monogam
isthe
y opposite
of cheating, threemistakes
to avoidwhenthinking
because
bothpartners
areputtingtheirdesires
onthetableandbeingopenabout aboutopening
upa relationship:
whattheirrelationship
or relationships
looklike."Weaskedherto explain
Makingassumptions.
the
"People
groundrulesforanopenrelationship.
Taormino
letusin onhertopfive:
definitely
getintotroublewhentheydon't
ConsentMakesureeveryone
is onthesamepageandexpectations
havealltheinformation
areout
theyneedto
in theopen.Nooneshouldfeelpressured
orcoerced
to agreeto anopenrelation- makegooddecisions.
If theyjustacton
shipfor anyreason.
howtheyfeelor howtheywouldactor reactin a c rtainsituation,
theyareaskHonesty.
Taormino
emphasizes
thatnon-monogamy
is notcheating,
ingfortrouble.
lyingor
Yourboundaries
maynotbesomeone
else'sboundaries."
betrayal.
Rather,
it is beingdirectandcandidaboutone'sdesires
OVer-commitm"You
andaskingfor
ent reallyhaveto figureouthowmuchtimeandenergy
whateachindividual
needsandwants.
youhave.Loveandlustareinfinite,butthereareonly24hoursin a day.Youhave
Communicatio
"Ifn.
talkingaboutfeelings-yours
andtheirs-on a regular to figureouthowmanyfuck-buddies
youcancommitto,keeping
in mindyour
basisis notsomething
youwantto do,it's probably
commitment
nota goodideabecause
orcommitments
to yourself
andallotheraspects
of andpeoplein
constant
processing
is partoftheprocess,"
yourlife."
saysTaormino.
Self-awareness
You
.musthavea prettydamgoodsenseof whoyouare,
Letting
goofinvestment
inthestatusquo.Openrelationships
aredynamic
andwhatyouwantandneed,andwhy.SaysTaormino,
"Thisis wherebuttonsget relationships
because
morepeopleareinvolved,
actingondesiresandinvolved
in
pushed,
soyouneedto haveanabove-average
andpriorities
senseof selfto makeit allwork. feelings,
andboundaries
arealwaysshifting.Change
is endemic
to
If youdon'tpayattention
to yourownneedsanddesires,
openrelationships
andthatis a positive
thenyoucannotpay
thing.
"Usecontracts
attention
to others'."
astools,"sheadds."Forcouples,
singles,
multiples,
it's
Commibnent.
"It'sa stereotype
thatopenrelationships
important
thatpeoplereallygetclearabouttheirlimitsandboundaries.
aretheopposite
of
Theyneed
committed
relationships,"
saysTaormino.
to articulate
"Myresearch
it in a concrete
showsthatpeoplein
way-writingit alldownhelpseveryone
figureout
openrelationships
takecommitment
whattheyreallywant.Ofcoursesucha contractis notlegallybinding,
veryseriously
andareopen,honestand
it's simply
committed
to makingtheirrelationships
a veryusefulexercise
work.However,
non-monogamy
to figureoutwhatis important
is nota
in relationships
andwhat
free-for-all;
thereareagreements
to abideby,nomatterwhattypeof relationship. eachpartyagrees
to doandnotto do."[STEPHANIE
SCHROEDER]
January/February 2009
I49
W////////////////M
ALISONPILL
W/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////IA
OT SINCE1993'5 Philadelphia has Hollywood gotten
behind a film as gay as Milk. From learning to ride a motorcycle to donning the '70s garb for a stroll through
San Francisco's Castro neighbor hood, Alison Pill (Dan in
Real Life, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen) recreates the
1978 version of Anne Kronenberg in the Gus Van Sant biopic.
Chronicling the last eight years in the life of Harvey Milk, a San
Francisco city supervisor and the first openly gay man elected
to public office, Milk highlights the early years of the LGBT
movement and particularly illuminates the unification of lesbians and gay men as a political force in the United States.
ef
e
t M' '
a
I knew the basic story and, like many people, I was like, "Was
he the mayort But I heard the horror story of what had happened-and more, what had happened to Dan White-after
the fact. I was shocked. Once I got the job I saw the documentary and read the book and got really into it and more fascinated with the time period, not just in San Francisco but in
terms of gay rights and what was going on in the community
and the organization that was starting.
H
50 I curve
One of your first lines really sums up the role of lesbians
in the San Francisco gay rights movement at that time:
"Is there a place for us?" What did you discover about
h1 histor·cal period?
Harvey was one of the first people to really try and create a
coalition among like-minded people who really had been
separated from each other, and he was one of the first to really
try and involve the lesbian community and also the minorities
around San Francisco. He opened everything up to people
with the same interests (but] who didn't necessarily socialize
[they became] part of the same commutogether-suddenly
nity. He was one of the first to recognize the strength in that.
Especially here, but it played out elsewhere and created a really vibrant LGBT community.
ha wer
your co
e n
I
ta ·ng on t
I just wanted to do it justice. It was incredible meeting Anne,
because she has this fantastic way of speaking and controlling a room. Not being loud, not being anything aggressive,
but just being able to control a room of men, women, whoever, and just knowing exactly what she wants to say. I just
wanted to try and capture that, this amazing woman would
come down so young, to be able to run a campaign and to
run an office in City Hall with not a lot of experience but
with a lot of wit and smarts and strength.
Was there any one scene that r ally resonated for you?
Oh my God, the candlelight march, when they shot it on
Market Street. That was maybe my second day of shooting.
They basically shot James Franco and I standing in the middle of the street thinking that nobody had come to Harvey's
funeral and just walking out into Market Street, which had
been closed down. All these volunteers marching. So many
people who had lived through it, so many young couples,
different races, different ages, gay, straight, lesbian, whatever.
It was just all these people walking with candles and it was
one of the most moving nights of my life.
0
p t that one es en ial about being
an actor is reading. What did you re d to prepare?
I read And the Band PlayedOn and the Harvey Milk biography. I live in New York and to read about the history there and
where Harvey started from and how his view point changedit's fascinating. There are a lot of people who don't know what
Stonewall is, who don't know who Harvey Milk is. It's sort
of been ignored, which is unfortunate. I'm hoping that more
people will learn about it, and it will be part of a more general
history that is taught along with the civil rights movement.
W//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////M
T
HELESBIAN
ACTIVIST
Anne Kronenberg, whom Alison
Pill credits with having "smarts and strength;' was
Harvey Milk's campaign manager for his fourth and
only successful run for the city supervisor post. Now, she
remembers the hope behind the history.
What was your reaction when you realized the size and
scope o ·he I m?
1A
I was thrilled, after all of these years-it will be 31 years on
November 27 since Harvey was assassinated-to
finally have
something happening. There had been so many false starts
and to have the likes of Gus Van Sant directing, and Sean
Penn playing Harvey, and James Franco. It was just as if 31
years hadn't gone by.
In o
cene our character asks, "Is there a place for
us?" Was there a divide between how gay men and lesbians ppr a hed poli ics ·n San Franci
at that tim
I think there was everywhere. I think that the gay movement
started as a men's movement. It didn't start as a gay and lesbian movement. We women who were politically active were
very much involved with the feminist movement. You have to
think back to that time frame, and we were fighting for our
equal rights as women. So it's not that the gay men necessarily
were trying to keep us out, but we were really busy ourselves.
Harvey saw how important it was to unite different disenfranchised groups, and so he was a natural ally for women. He
used to speak at feminist rallies. It was a brave thing for him to
bring me into the campaign, because the campaign had been
all men and with me came many other women.
On of the fir ..t hmgs that struck m upon se ing Milk
was its obvious parallel with what's going on now politically, e pecially with the Prop 8 battle in California. Why
do you hi
I
asn' rus ed out bef r
lect·on Day"
I can't answer that. I certainly thought about it while watching, too. But this is my first, and it will probably be my only,
brush with Hollywood and, you know, [its) mysterious workings. I have no idea.
ANNEKRONENBERG
You got involved in politics very young. How has your
e, p ct ve c a
do
he yea ?
I got involved with politics before Harvey. I did a recycling
center in Washington state in high school then became very
involved with the women's movement and the environmental
movement and I was very idealistic through that whole time.
When Harvey died, I lost my idealism. Not that I have not
been involved in politics, but I've really changed my focus. I'm
much more of a behind-the-scenes kind of person, trying to
get things done and to fill those needs in my life in different
ways, because that was a really, really painful period of time.
Some people, like Cleve Jones, just went on to become bigger
advocates and continue to be out there. I didn't have it in me.
om
I just hope that this film educates a whole new generation of
people [about] who Harvey Milk was and [that] it gives at
least one young person out there the hope that Harvey gave
me. It was a very special time and I was very lucky to have
known
REVIEWSMusic Watch
Rockin'in the New Year
Ring in 2009 with these music picks. By Margaret Coble
OurO n Isla d on
(RubyTower/
Who
Revolver):
knewthat a localSan
bandwould
Francisco
createsucha response
on curve's MySpace
page?VonIvais clearly
a popularpickwith
the ladies,andit's no
wonder.Theirbig beat,
Afro-beat,soul-shaking
takeon electro-popis
heatingup dancefloors
up anddowntheWest
Coastandall acrossthe
country.Theirodeto
LosAngeles("LaLa")
is the kindof songyou
wantto blastfromyour
low-rider(or,youknow,
yourHondaCivic)while
cruisingthe streets.The
all-girltrio-Jillian Iva,
BexandLayLay-are
takeonthe
a refreshing
rawkchickmovement
andhit the perfect
balancesomewhere
betweenpunkchicks,
the Donnasandsoul
singerTinaTurner.In
theirownwords,the
soundis "goodshityou
can,andwill, danceto."
[KATIEPEOPLES]
Resolutions about curbing your spending be damneddon't let the new year go by without freshening up your
playlist. Whether you're into indie rock, hip,hop or funka,
licious old,school R&B, here are some gems you might have
missed that are bound to please.
Girls Rock! The Soundtrack (Cherchez La
Fem e Projec s): If you didn't get to see this amaz,
soundtrack will get you revved up with its mix of camper
bands and other music from the Pacific Northwest, like
Shemo, Sonic Youth, Sleater, Kinney, Rainer Maria and The
Gossip. Many members of the featured bands either work
at or have helped out with the camp, which will give you an
idea of the quality of the instruction there. Musically speak,
ing, stand,out cuts include the lead,off ensemble piece by
campers from the 2004 session, the bluesy "Camp Theme
Song;' with help from Sleater, Kinney's Carrie Brownstone
and Rachel Blumberg, a veteran of several indie bands
ing documentary about the Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls in
8, to 18,year,
Portland, Ore.-where
C:._
•
I
olds come from all over the country
._,.J!!l!!"
to learn how to rock DIY,style, form,
ing bands, writing songs and building
now's the time to
community-then
put it in your Nedlix queue, because
it's due to be released on DVD this
month. (It had a limited run in the,
aters and film festivals nationwide.)
But in the meantime, this awesome
r---;:::---:.;-------
52
I curve
including the Decemberists; the abrasive
"San Francisco Sucks;' a raw screamfest
that makes me chuckle; and the catchy
"Global Warming," by Bliibird, a camp
duo, which will no doubt be a huge hit on
college radio.
Without the press sheet to guide
me, it's often hard to tell which bands
are products of rhe camp and which are
:;?
o
:r
3
<!
:i
E
cz
Q+A
Natalie Stewart
already established indie stars-and
that's a testament to
the power of the camp to teach and inspire and grow a
whole new generation of female rock stars. All the artists
on the disc donated their work; proceeds from the sale of
the CD benefit the Girls Rock Camp Alliance, an affiliation of Girls Rock Camp organizations around the world.
(There are currently 14 camps, with over 1,500 girls
attending worldwide.) Picking it up for a friend and for
yourself will help to build a new camp near you!
Bar Mitzvah Superhits of the '80s, '90s and
Today, Athens Boys Choir (Twinkle Toes)· For
those of you not in the know, Athens Boys Choir is actually the Deep South FTM trannyfag rapper and wordsmith
extraordinaire Harvey Katz. This fourth CD release from
the Georgia-based emcee is a retro-loving, gayer-than-gay,
word-spitting homo-hop dancefest. That is to say, Katz
can make your mind spin and your booty shake at the same
time-no mean feat. From the opening, self-aggrandizing
"EZ Heeb;' to the twangy "The Metrosexual Threw Off
My Gaydar;' to the catchy "Fagette" ( the video for which
is getting good play on LOGO), this disc is queer dance
party central. There are also a fair number of slam poetrystyle spoken-word pieces, sans music, equally brilliant and
hilarious, i.e., "Our Like-Like Is a Caboodle,""Teeth" and
the political anti-war rant "Mama Needs a Hug:' Anyone
who appreciates a well-turned phrase and a phat beat will
fall in love with this album and Athens Boys Choir.
Pebble to a Pearl, Nikka Costa (Go Funk
Yourself/Stax). If you, like me, still find yourself singing Nikka Costa's funktacular hit "Everybody's Got Their
Something" from way back in 2001, then you'll definitely
want to give a good listen to this new 12-tracker. After
releasing the underwhelming
Can'tneverdidnothing in
2005, and then fighting a losing battle with her previous
(major) record label, Costa set out to produce her latest
album on her own dime, and on her own Go Funk Yourself
label. And wow, we should all be so glad she did-this one
is a smoker!
With a perfect blend of old-school R&B, blues, soul
and ass-shakin' funk, Costa brings down the house on
"Stuck to You" and "Can't Please Everybody;' which will
appeal to Amy Winehouse and Janis Joplin fans alike.
The title track and "Cry Baby" keep the funk-soul party
going, while the vintage R&B ballad "Love to Love You
Less" slows it down to a very classic New Orleans sound.
There's really not a dud on this album, as Concord Records
noticed. They quickly offered to release it on the recently
relaunched Stax label-yes, the legendary Memphis soul
label that now has new life via artists like Angie Stone and
Lalah Hathaway-and
it's a perfect fit. Can't say enough
good things about this one.
Natalie "The Floacist" Stewart has moved beyond her seven-time-Grammynominated duo, Floetry, to embark on a new solo album, Freedom, which is due
out soon. Recently featured at the fourth annual Serafemme Queer Women
of Color Music Festival Weekend in Los Angeles, the U.K.-bred Floacist is a
creative force, expressing herself through music, slam poetry, writing and even
the tattoos on her body.
nofc~d + + you
t os dep·c powerf
ythica 1 s, bols.
Yeah, so you got Medusa at the top, Kali in the middle and the mermaid. I just
feel really close to mermaids-mermaid
ancestry and all that business.
read tha you wro e a screenplay with
ge na Jolie I r I d o play
e ea
You know, if it's going to happen you got to see it first, and that's who I see for the
role. I feel like Angelina Jolie is one of my spiritual sisters. I look forward to meeting her. I am a performing arts kid, I'm a poet, I'm a writer, I'm a floacist-which
is kind of bringing all things into one.
So I've been writing plays and books
and movie scripts, and performing them, forever. Even when I was
just writing them for my family, and
then I was writing them for people at
school, you know. So, yes. I have the
next 10, 15 years of my life-15 is
kind of in focus right now. Yeah, going to take the Will Smith walk, the
divine feminine version.
re
ng a
crossing
ve
ctin ?
Well, yeah, very possibly so. I will
definitely experience it all, but if
you're a performing arts kid you're
experiencing it all whether [or not]
you're doing (it] all. So even if you're
doing music videos, you're experiencing movies. Not that shooting a music video means that you can shoot a
movie. I don't mean that.
Wha
O t OU
album? I
noticed that you passed it around
and that you're going against the
grain as far as what people have been told ey can do with music.
Well, I have just started my own label, Spirit Mother Music, and I have a prealbum, which is called TheOffering, and it's free-10 tracks-it's my version of a
mix tape. And then Freedom comes out at the top of 2009.
I defin ely seems like
u ve
ne
ou
a sfo mation from what
your previous group albums were. Now that you're coming out as a solo
s
·key ,•
e
That's good. I mean, I definitely have got some enlightenment. Embellishments
though, you know, they're just embellishments. Life is life, time is time, days tick
by and I came to America with Floetry when I was 21, and now I'm 29.
k
h
Definitely, I am reborn. Again and again and again. [NATALIEBELL]
January/February
2009
I 53
Not Dead Yet
No one can kill Amanda Palmer's talent.
Boston-based singer-songwriter Amanda Palmer released
her first solo effort, Who Killed Amanda Palmer (Roadrunner
Records), in September, and emo queers everywhere are celebrating. Produced by fellow piano whiz Ben Folds, the album
marks the first solo project from the soulful, bisexual, female
half of the gay-friendly dark-cabaret Dresden Dolls. While this
is quite a difference in musical taste for both artists, the songs
on Who Killed Amanda Palmer (the title of which is a reference
to Twin Peaks) represent a personal journey and an examination of what it means to be "solo" for Palmer. She's worked
with more people on this album than on any of her previous
ones, but considers it a solo project since it's removed from
the Dresden Dolls.
Palmer says that her sexuality doesn't seem to make much
of a difference in who listens to her work. "I don't know if it's
just about being bisexual. The Dresden Dolls have some superemotional, dramatic fans, whether they're gay or straight. My
sexuality is really in the background, anyway, in my opinion.
Oftentimes, my songwriting is very sexual but not necessarily
sexy. I think the fact that I'm coming from a place of honesty,
confusion and catharsis speaks more to people than just the
fact that I'm bisexual." She continues, "It has to do with having
fearlessness about your own confusion. Maybe our music provides a kind of example of that for gay people ... There's a sense
that we're all just trying to figure it out." [RACHELLASTRA]
,w
6
SimplyKenia
en
(Mooka)
HookMe Up
ronicas
T'
(Sire)
Fora tasteof bothcontemporaryandclassic
Brazilianvocaljazz-pop,
looknofurtherthanthis
sumptuous15-cutdisc
by oneof Brazil'sfinest
exportswhois often
to Astrud
compared
Gilberto.Notethetrifecta
of English,Spanishand
treatments
Portuguese
of PatsyCline'sclassic
"Crazy."(kenialive.com)
Movingawayfrom
their earlypop-punk
leanings,the L.A.-based
Australiantwin sisters
reinventthemselves
in an electropoprockvein.They've
alreadyachievedhit
statuswith the sizzling
"Untouched."(theveroni-.
cas.com)
Alchemy:G.S.l
Reloaded
UltraNate
(SilverLabel)
Cycleof Fruit
Ang·e vans
(Independent
FreedomTribe)
Thisout-queerLong
Beach,Calif.,stargoes
nationwidewith a compellingdebut12-track
discof sax-filledsoulful
folk-pop.Theboldand
irresistiblyfunky"My
Politic"rocksmy world!
com)
(angieevans.
1
TheSecretsof theSea
Loquat
(TalkingHouse)
Frontedby the silkyvoicedKyleeSwenson,
Thesaucydancediva
issuesa deluxedouble- this SanFranciscoCDpackageof remixes basedquintetgorgeousfrom her recentGrime, ly blendselectronicand
plusher acousticinstrumentaSilk& Thunder,
first-evercommercially tion for an organic,
soulfulpop-rocksound
releasedself-mixed
that's highlydanceable.
DJset of additional
com)
(loquatmusic.
remixesfrom G.S.T.
com)
(ultranate.
3am Voice
GinaYoung
(self-released)
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54
I curve
Books I REVIEWS
Knowled e Matters
Books on knowing oneself and learning more. By Rachel Pepper
These books explore our quest for knowledge and our responsibilities to that information. Whether this is through journalist
Masha Gessen's quest for understanding
about her genetic heritage or Rock Camp's
philosophy of empowerment for girls, these
books will inspire and inform.
Blood Matters, Masha Gessen
(Harcourt): Masha Gessen has taken on
\f \ , H A
C E SSE •
Blood Matter
From l11lwri1t·dlllnt·~~
disease, from "designer babies" to a brief
examination of people with intersex
conditions. Entire ethnic and religious
clans are discussed, includingJews, the
Amish, and an extended family from
Holland with extremely high rates of
cancer. For those who want to learn as
much about cancer and genetics as possible, this book may well be a feast. For
all other readers, it will simply be too
much to swallow. (harcourtbooks.com)
to De~ignt'r Bahit•~,
a big topic in Blood Matters. This is evident
llow tlw \\orld and I
in the book's subtitle, which touts nothFou11d Our~l'ht•.., i11
ing less than finding the whole world in a
Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls, Ed.
tht• h1111n• of tlw C«·111·
gene. Gessen is the author of several previMarisa Anderson (Chronicle
ous books and is an experienced reporter
Books):This zine-inspired paperback
for the LGBT press. Currently, she lives
will appeal to two primary readerships.
in Moscow with her girlfriend and their
The first is rocker chicks who want to
children, and so is able to bring an internasee what their peers have to say about
tional perspective to the genetic anxieties facing
teaching the next generation to empower themmany Americans. The origins of Blood Matters
selves through music. The second is girls who
reside in Gessen's own personal history. In 2004,
have attended or may attend the rock camps, in
a blood test revealed that she was a carrier of a
cities like Austin, New York City and Oakland,
genetic mutation known as BRCAl, which is
Cali£, all of which are modeled on the feisty
common amongJewish women, and which had
original in Portland, Ore. In fact, there is even a
already claimed the lives of many of the women
professional organization, the Girls Rock Camp
in her family. As Gessen writes, "I learned the basics
Alliance, that oversees this burgeoning phenomof the story of my flaw. I carry a genetic mutation that kills
enon. Usually run by volunteers and operated on a sliding scale,
women early-earlier
and earlier with each generationthese camps take a group of girls, ages 8 to 18, some with no
through breast and ovarian cancer:'
musical experience whatsoever, and ensure that by the end of a
In Blood Matters, Gessen is at her best when linking her
week they can and will perform. The camps stress not only how
own personal quest for information with a discussion of
to play basic instruments like drums and guitar, but also how to
cutting-edge science. Indeed, casual readers with no scienwrite songs and publicize a band, with some life skills like selftific background will be quickly and gently educated about
defense thrown in for good measure. Due to the overwhelming
topics like "genetic drift;' "founder effect;' 'cancer destiny" and
success of these camps, there are even offshoots: Rock C :imp
for Ladies caters to moms who are tired of sitting on the sidethe politics and history of eugenics. Gessen also captures the
excruciating process women go through in deciding to have lines. With the growing notoriety-and enrollment-of these
camps, it's not surprising that this book, edited by camp artistheir breasts and ovaries surgically removed to avoid an almost
tic director Marisa Anderson and with a foreword by Sleatercertain diagnosis of cancer. Because of her own background,
Kinney's Carrie Brownstein, has come out now. While some of
Gessen is most engaging in the book's early chapters, which
the pieces are surprisingly elementary (does the target audience
function as a cultural history of illness and especially of illness
for this book really need a piece on why rock camps for girls
specific to particular ethnic groups. However, Gessen starts
might be necessary?), most-from how to set up a PA system,
to lose her stride midway. One can imagine a shorter, tighter
to how to keep the drummer happy, to how to promote on the
book, focused on her own quest for diagnostics but interwoWeb while still "fending off the creeps"-will appeal. Inspiring
ven with the history and medical issues of the Jewish people
as a whole. That story is here, but it gets buried too quickly. advice from rocker babes like Kaia Wilson, Beth Ditto and
This book had its origins in a series of online articles for Slate, drummer STS, as well as a scattering of photos and teenfriendly graphics, round out the package. Give this book to a
which explains why the topics range so widely, but doesn't help
young girl you know-then send her to rock camp to apply her
the narrative. Indeed, the reader is expected to bounce from
knowledge. (chroniclebooks.com)
breast cancer to colon cancer, from Tay-Sachs to Huntington's
organHunt(Alyson
Books):I swallowed
this secondTess
Camillomysterywhole,
alongwith its predecessor,StickyFingers,in a
mystery-reading
binge
whenI shouldhave
beenmakingnoodles
for my 5-year-oldor
spendingqualitytime
with my spouse.
Whatkept me gluedto
the pagewerethe colorful descriptions("the
samepuckishdeity
who designedscrotums
gracedmewith fulsomecurves");the
complicatedcharacter
of TessCamillo-San
Diegolesbiancomputer
jockey-cancersurvivorlustyladyon the verge
of menopause;
the
tone-a balanceof
comedyandwhodunnit combiningquips,
popcultureandqueries
on the natureof love,
evil,cancerandcasualsex;andof course,
murder.Hunt'svictims
are killed by snakebites
in StickyFingersand
crucifiedin Foolon the
Hill,a breathof fresh
air for readersgunshy
from too manyshotsin
the dark.(alysonbooks.
com)[BERENDEMOTIER]
January/February
2009
I 55
Q+A
S. Bear Bergman
In Butch Is a Noun, S. Bear Bergman whittles down the often convoluted issues of gender identity through personal observations about
gendered cultural norms like which bathroom and what clothing
one chooses, and argues against the gender binary from the positive
perspective of love and acceptance.
What were you trying to convey in your first chapter, "I Know
Butch Is"?
N
I really wanted to make the point that there is no one true way to
be butch. I think that often butches get shamed or critiqued or disregarded because of some other person's statement that they're "not
doing it right:' I'm saying: Listen, pay attention to good role models
and then do it how it comes naturally to you.
?
ha d ea
a ""la s e ryone
Pnae
a
It's about how we live in the world every day, and it piles onto everyone,
no matter where else they are privileged or disempowered. It grabs hold
of us when we're tiny-pink and blue blankets, dolls and trucks-and
refuses to let us go. The culture never stops trying to police it.
1\/hy re bath ·oom politics so Impo 1ant to examine?
Bathrooms are one of the places in public where you have to make an
unequivocal statement about your sex. Many trans folks point to the
first times they passed in "the other bathroom" as great moments of
triumph in their gendered journeys.
de i e al y?
W y do you tra a e rans,
I translate it literally in the book because I want to make a pointthat transgender is not about "the opposite gender:' There is no "opposite gender;' just some others. So I want to say, specifically, clearly,
out of boxes.
that being transgendered is about crossing-crossing
[LESLEYSEACRIST]
Transitive Words
Four years later, Jay Sennett is still surprised by the success of Homofactus
Press, the digital publishing house
he started in 2005. "Had you told
me five years ago I would grow up
to become a publisher," he wrote, "I
would have scoffed." But publish he
has. Homofactus Press publishes
books by, for and about transgender
men (and genderqueers like curve
contributor Sassafras Lowrey), a niche
group that has been neglected by
other publishers. Homofactus Press is
working hard to change things in the
publishing industry. One percent of the
profits are paid forward to Juliet Victor
Mukasa's nonprofit, Sexual Minority
Uganda (SMUG), to
fight the bigotry and
discrimination in her
home country, and all
its books are available
as both PDFs and
audiobooks, absolutely free to download. Homofactus is
shaking things up for
good. [TERESACOATES]
ll
SexandBacon,
Sarah atherme
Lewis(SealPress)
A 10-yearveteran
of the sexindustry,
SarahKatherineLewis
comparesthe erotic
between
association
foodandsexin her
newbook.Moments
of nostalgiafor lost
lovegettheirwounds
lickedwith bacon
fat-infusedcorncakes
as Lewisdeliversa
celebrationof fucking,
feastingandthe insatiablehumanappetite.
Sherecallseating
nukedBabyRuthsfor
a regularcustomer
anddisclosesherown
personalfetishes.
com)
(sea/press.
MCCAFFREY]
[ COLLEEN
56
I curve
Single
Choosing
Motherhood,
MikkiMorrissette
Mifflin)
(Houghton
TheElusiveOrgasm,
VivienneCass,
Ph.D(Marloweand
Company)
Islam,
Demystifying
Dr.Ali Shehataand
HeatherEl Khiyari
(ElysiumRiverPress)
A clinicalpsycholoWrittenby a first-genMikkiMorrissette
gist andsextheraexploresthe difficult
erationEgyptianimfinancial
pist,VivienneCass
emotional,
migrant(AliShehata)
theorgasm.I andethicalquesdemystifies
anda WestVirginiaquestionQuizzes,
tionsthat arisewhen
bornMuslimwhowas
5
naires,full-color
womenconsider
formerlya Christian
illustrationsof female havinga childusing
missionary(HeatherEl i
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methKhiyari),andeditedby 0UJ
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by-stepguidesthat
ods.A proud"choice
a formerpublichealth zUJ
workbothsoloand
mother"andlongtime professorandMuslim ::.::
UJ
adeuxhelpidentify journalist,sheconsults convert(JulieSamia z
commonproblemsand up-to-dateresearch, Mair),Demystifying
z
givetangiblesolutions. childexpertsand
Islamoffersan insider, <i
Cassis refreshingly
a:
personalexperience yetWestern-friendly, Cl
UJ
neutralaboutheraudi-: to giveadviceon how perspective
on Islam. fQ,
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ence'ssexualorienta- to alleviatefearsand
Thiscompassionate <i
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tion,thoughthereare advanceintomother- bookdebunksclaims UJ
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a handfulof helpful,
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hoodwith enthusiasm that it is an inhergirl-on-girl-onlysecandan openmind.
entlysexistandviolent z
UJ
a:
tions.(marlowepub.com);
(choosingsinglemotherreligion.
0
t)
PLATO]
[CATHERINE
[cM]
hood.com)
[cP]
(amazon.com)
5
=
Sapphic Screen
REVIEWS
Bound-UpPleasures
Films to tickle your fancy. By Candace Moore
This month's film picks run the gamut of sexy queer
relationships. Lesbian love in Taiwan, intergenerational
dominanHubmissive role-play and a 1950s starlet dabbling
in fetishism make for stimulating viewing.
D ·j ·ng Flowers (Wolfe Releasing): Taiwanese director Zero Chou's latest feature offers a triptych of lesbian love
stories that loosely connect over long or disjointed periods
of time. Like her festival fave Spider Lilies, Drifting Flowers is
visually lovely, yet better described as "moody" than "floral:'
In the first and longest segment, we are introduced to the
positively charming accordion player Diego (Chao Yi-lan), a
strapping young butch who wins a blind lounge singer's heart
with her attentiveness. Things are hunky-dory until the singer's 8-year-old sister is taken into foster care because of her
older sister's queer lifestyle. Part two brings us new characters: Lily, an elderly woman with Alzheimer's (played by the
renowned Lu Yi-ching), who mistakes her gay male husband,
Yen (theirs is a marriage of convenience), for her dead butch
lover, Ocean. Recently dumped, Yen moves in with and takes
care of his old friend, while Lily tends to his AIDS symptoms and confusedly has him dress in drag, lest people catch
on that they're a "couple;' which makes for equally sad and
humorous moments. Segment three links Lily's and Diego's
stories with a flashback to the two as teens exploring their
sexualities together. Diego's preference for binding over bras
is somewhat accepted by her mom, but not by the rest of her
family; she takes solace in Lily, an upbeat and rebellious cabaret performer. This film takes narrative untangling and trust
in Chou's lead, but fine acting and compelling characters
keep Drifting Flowers afloat. (wolfereleasing.com)
Punish Me (Pict re This! Entertainm nt • From
Angelina Maccarone, the director of two of the finest lesbian-themed films of the last three years (Vivere and Unveiled),
comes this endearing sadomasochistic work from 2006, now
available on DVD. An intelligent rendering of a dominantsubmissive relationship between a 50-year-old female probation officer and a 16-year-old boy, this film is just as queer
and provocative as the rest of Maccarone's oeuvre, even if
it doesn't portray a romance between women. Jan (Kostja
Ullmann), the teenager, stalks Elsa (Maren Kroymann)
relentlessly and begs her to do what she will with him; she
takes him to an empty building, pulls down his briefs and
swats his ass till he moans. They meet for such trysts repeatedly but never have traditional sex. In cool black and white,
with deep shadows, Maccarone captures the preciousness and
Weeds(Showtime):
Havingjust wrapped
(rolled?)its fourth
seasonwith the mother
of all cliffhangers,
Showtimehasannouncedthat its Golden
Globe-winning
show
Weedsis comingback
for two moreseasonsbut not beforeyou'll
havea chanceto beg,
borrowor stealthe
DVDs(wedon't really
recommend
that last
one)andgetyourself
caughtup on oneof
the mostwonderfully
dysfunctional
comedies
on cable.Withthe stock
marketin crisis,the
globeheatingup and
the worldon the brink
of a differentcalamity
everyday,it couldbe
just the escapistfix
yourfunnyboneneeds.
Stillnotconvinced?
Checkout"Top1O
Reasons
YouShould
BeWatchingWeeds"
at curvemag.com
and
let us persuade
you.
[RACHELSHATTO]
Bound-Up Pleasun: continued on page 58
January/February
2009
I 57
Bound-Up Pleasures continued from page 57
precariousness of the "different love" chat blossoms between a stern, exasperated woman and
a breathtaking, naughty boy. This is a quiet and
exacting film, full of tiny details and subtle emotions; its poetry feels intensely personal. Scenes
of Elsa's after care, cradling the often sobbing,
smitten boy co her chest, are the most tender,
and especially so in a role-reversal scene where
Jan holds and pets Elsa after she falls deep into
top drop. Brace yoursel£ though, for what ensues
when the couple's taboo secret is leaked co the
outside world. (picturethishomevideo.com)
The Bettie Page Collection (Cult
Epics). Including a documentary on the erotic
photographer Bunny Yeager and a bountiful assortment of the legendary Bettie Page's
burlesque films, Striporama ( 195 3), Varietease
(1954) and Teaserama (1955), this three-DVD
boxed set comes with a vintage treat in the form
of a two-hour retrospective of Irving Klaw's
1950s bondage, fetish and spanking videos featuring Page along with other sultry models. As
the collection's narrator informs us, Klaw start·
ed as a star photographer and expanded his
business to include filming S/M scenes when
male fans begged to see their favorite starlets
all tied up. (Perhaps they desperately wanted to
feel like they could "have" these famous women.) While manufactured for male cons ump·
tion, these short films from 1951 to '56, which
prominently feature Page's smiley, sexually curious expressions and uncomfortably high heels,
offer many pleasures to happily perverse dykes.
What's striking is that there are no men in the
picture, so all the rope play, leather corset eying,
body manipulation, gagging, collaring and slaps
to the behind are administered to women by
women. The lingerie, makeup, thigh-high tights
and garters show the models' strict adherence
to the gendered costumes of the time, yet today,
such getups have become classics of femme fe.
tish wear and arguably queer the objectification
they might have once represented. Imaginative
viewers can enjoy this collection against the
grain, reading lesbian desire and femme sub and
domme identities into these cinematic artifacts
of sexploitation. (cultepics.com)
Q+A
Tabatha Coffey & Dee Adames
They are the darlings of Bravo TV: sexy lesbian hairdressers
whose take-no-prisoners approach to work has made them fan
favorites. Dee Adames, a 37-year-old from Miami, took home
$100,000 as this season's winner of Shear Genius and now she's
launching her own salon, South Miami's Dee & L Hair Studio.
Meanwhile, Tabatha Coffey, the bold and unabashed star of
Tabatha'sSalon Takeover,has used her decades of work experience
co help struggling salon owners turn their businesses aroundall the while running her own salon, Industrie Hair Gurus, in
Ridgewood, N.J., and seeing clients at the Warren-Tricomi salon
in West Hollywood.
You've both given a little more visibility to lesbians in the
a· s l"ng. d s •
Dee:I didn't know that Tabatha was gay. I had no clue. She never
mentioned it throughout any of the shows, so it was a shocker to
me as well.
A , I 1ee mor esbian .h n 1e o d + in ·n he 'ndustry'l
Tabatha:I think there are more gay women in every industry than anyone would imagine. It's
something I never really thought about, because it's who I am.
Dee:Maybe after Sally Hershberger also has been out and has been an influential hairdresser, maybe that's kind of encouraging young hairdressers, young lesbian women coming into the industry.
Did you eve1 question wl-t ther to be o t on the ob or not?
Dee:No, I am very open and my mother accepts me and chat's all chat matters to me. Anybody
who sics in my chair realizes that it's not about the sexuality or gender. It's just about the passion
chat I have for what I do.
Tabatha:It's never been a question for me. You know, I'm a
gay woman. I'm a hairdresser. It's just all part and parcel.
It's who I am, so, to me, I'm out, I'm open. I guess you like
it or you don't like it depending on what your stance is.
But I don't think that me being gay affects my hairdressing
ability, obviously, and me being a hairdresser doesn't affect
me being a gay woman. I chink it's the level of people's
comfort.
·r
s cutting
Dee:Oh, cutting hair has changed my life tremendously. I
now love what I do. It has been able to provide for me and
my family, my mother, help her to pay her rent. Simple
things like that. But it also has helped me to travel and see things, just because once you love
what you do, you don't work a day in your life and you get rewarded for it. I live a much happier
life because I'm fulfilled with what I do.
Tabatha:I'm really lucky. I've been hairdressing now for 26 years and every morning when I get
up and go to work I absolutely love what I do, and not many people can say chat. We all have bad
days and that's OK, that's part oflife, but I have never grown bored of it. It still gives me a thrill. I
still love it when the client is really happy and walks out feeling great, looking beautiful and loves
what I've done, and that has never ever gone away. And the fact that I've been lucky enough to
be able to travel all over the world, work with other people in my profession and even now, you
know, showcase hairdressers as a true profession on television means a lot to me.
b an n , a le b n e he
nq a
n
D
Dee:Yeah there is, definitely ... lesbian women come to me because, first of all, I don't have any fear
of going short, of cutting short hair. And we definitely have signature looks as far as, you know,
TV Without the Commercials
TVon DVDis a marvelousthing.It cansaveyoufromwriters'strikes,computerviruses,rainydaysand
reruns.Butwith so manychoicesandso little time,youwill needour handyguideto somelesbofriendlyDVDsets.[AucE CLARKE]
very edgy, trendy looks and bold colors. But
also you have to keep in mind that you have
lesbians that are lipstick lesbians and more
conservative lesbians. And so you also have
to respect their lifestyle as far as how they're
perceived in their job or what they do on a
daily basis. So it all is a reflection of what
their lifestyle is, low maintenance or high
maintenance, and you have both.
c n e pla
s • g hairstylist that I want a femme haircut that still
oo s d ke ?
Dee:[Laughs]Tomboy and sexy!
ha
o d
: se
wers to
isco r bout ou?
Dee:That I'm a hopeless romantic. I guess
s::that would surprise viewers because they
didn't get to see my sensitive side too much.
•~ I definitely was focused and driven and
a:
maybe I had a little hard exterior. But on t he
inside I'm a big softie.
Tabatha:That I'm really, really, really nice.
Anything you want to know about me, I
would pretty much tell you. But I think people look at my honesty and, you know, maybe
look at a little bit of the tough exterior that
I have, because I take what I'm doing very
seriously ... I think people sometimes look at
it as a little bit one-dimensional. So people
would probably be shocked to know that I
grow tomatoes, and I have a great garden,
and I have a fluffy little dog and I can cry at a
Hallmark commercial just like anybody else.
[DIANEANDERSON-MINSHALL]
BadGirls
Plot:Setin a women'sprison;
the onlyinmatesareirritating
bimbosandviolence-prone
lesbians.
Pros:Therelationshipbetween
Nikki(injail for murder)and
Helen(wardenwith a hot
Scottishaccent},the hilarious
duoof the two Julies(Victoria
AlcockandKikaMirylees)and
the manylovableandtouching
momentsbetweenthe inmates.
Cons:Jim Fenner(JackEllis),
in seasonsfourthrougheight.
Thelackof manywarmscenes
betweenNikkiandHelen.They
do havemanygreatscenes,
but on closerinspectionmost
of theminvolveyellingand
moment-ruiners.
Queergirls:NikkiWade
(MandanaJones},the bisexual
HelenStewart(Simone
Lahbib),ShazWylie(Lindsey
Fawcett},DennyBlood(Allyca
Eyo)and more.
House
Plot:A cynicaldiagnosticdoc
with two annoyingguys,anda
stunninglyattractivefemalewho
looksa bit gayon his team.
Pros:Houseis a snarkybastard
whosecommentsare inappropriatelyhilarious.Thirteen(Olivia
Wilde,whoplayedgayon The
OC)is bisexualandCameron
(JenniferMorrison)is hot.That's
shallow,but honestandisn't
Houseall aboutencouraging
peopleto be honest?
Cons:Foreman(OmarEpps).
Theformula:Houseis sure,
he'll be wrong,Foremandisagrees,bloodymesseshappen,
then in a strokeof brilliance,
while doingsomethingtotally
unrelated,Housewill find a
quick,easycure.
Queergirls:Thirteenis bi
and had hot monkeysexthis
season.A few lesbiansare
scatteredamongthe smaller
cases,nothingnoteworthy.
CSI
Plot:Sociallyineptcrime
sceneinvestigators
solve
crimesalmostsingle-handedly
in LasVegas.
Pros:SarahSidle(JorjaFox);
also,someof the episodes
areveryengagingandcan
bringyouto tears.It's great
escapism.
Cons:Don'twatchit while
you'rehavingdinner.
Lesbians:
Therearen'tanyout
gaymaincharacters,butthere
area hostof lesbiansubplots,
a produceranda few of the
writersbatfor teamdyke,and,
well,there'salwaysour No.1
crush:JorjaFox.
Plot:FuturisticcowboyWesternin
space.Yes,thatdoessoundsilly,
butit's awesome.
Pros:It's anotherJossWhedon
show,sothe dialogueis excellent,
the storylinesarecomplicated
buteasyto understand
andthe
femalecharacters
arestrong,
interesting
andin charge.
Cons:It's short.Foxcancelled
it in the middleof seasonone.
Theythenmadeit intoa movie,
Serenity,
butit didn'tmakeupfor
everything
we missed.
Queergirls:lnara(Morena
Baccarin),
the glamorous
prostitute,is bisexual,
as is Kaylee
(JewelStaite).
·e
__g_
Plot:Thelives,lovesandoften
poignantlessonsof the surgical internsat Seattle'sGrace
Hospitalincludingan aborted
lesbianstoryline.
Pros:Nineout of the 13 writers
arewomen.Storylinesinclude
gayparents,XYfemales,
transgenderpatientsandmen
with ovaries.Nearlyeverymain
relationshipis mixed-race.
Cons:Meredith's(Ellen
Pompeo)
voice.lzzie's
(KatherineHeigl)character
seemedpromisingbut is oneof
the show'smainweaknesses.
Queergirls:Clearlywhoever
comesup with the soundtrack:
TeganandSaradominate
seasonsonethroughthree;The
Gossip,MissyHiggins,Kinnie
StarrandButterflyBoucher
areall featured.LeishaHailey
(of L Wordfame)gueststars
in an episodeas a patientwith
necrotizingfasciitis.
Ii
I
rn ·r_
Plot:Buffy'sdestinyis to fight
theforcesof darknesswith her
happy,evil-fightingteam.
Pros:Willow(AlysonHannigan),
Tara(AmberBenson},
the musical episodeandthefirst lesbian
sexsceneon networkTV.
Cons:Theshockingepisode
"SeeingRed,"andthatyoucan't
workoutwhetherto loveor hate
Kennedy
(lyariLimon).Sure,
she'sannoyingbutchancesare,
Willow'snextgirlfriendwouldbe
dislikedby everyoneevenif she
wereperfect.Whynotmakeher
someonewe canenjoybeing
irritatedby?
Lesbians:
Willow,Tara,Kennedy.
January/February
2009
I59
REVIEWSBooks
erful lesbian authors
Undeniable validation and pleasure come from reading stories featuring
lesbian characters or representing a uniquely queer perspective. The following lesbian writers exert true literary power through their distinctive
styles and points of view. They have a way with words, and if they'd like,
they can have their way with us.
0 MichelleTea'sautobiography Valencia threw the door wide open for
her career. The co-founder of Sister Spit has also published stream-ofconsciousness nonfiction, but is surprised by the praise for her fiction. She
says, "I feel like Rose of No Man's Land made a bigger splash because it was
fiction, and people get more impressed when you're making stuff up, rather
than heavily doctoring gossip about your own life:'
makes this list shining a light on the difficult isWoodson
0 Jacqueline
sues that young people face. She attacks seemingly debilitating social issues in her novels, interweaving themes of friendship, family and love. She
has received three Lambda Literary Awards and won the Coretta Scott
King Award for Miracle's Boys-which Spike Lee made into a miniseries.
Breathing life into the places that mainstream literature ignores, Woodson
demonstrates a belief in the transformative power of realistic fiction.
illustrious career started strong with the autobio0 JeanetteWinterson's
graphical coming-out novel Oranges Aren't the Only Fruit. The 15 books
that have followed are showcases of British wit and experimental form.
wrote her critically acclaimed graphic memoir, Fun
8 Before AlisonBechdel
8 For those who have only seen the screen adaptations of SarahWaters' Home, she'd published 11 collections of her syndicated comic strip. "My
Tipping the Velvet and Fingersmith, get thee to a bookstore. The written
form of these historical lesbian tales is far more exciting. And she is garnering
attention from a decidedly mainstream audience. Waters remains optimistic about the growing interest in her thoroughly lesbian novels: "There's
Dykes to Watch Out For self is extremely envious of my Fun Home self,' she
admits. ''I'd gotten resigned to-and kind of bitter about-my failure to get
more recognition as a cartoonist, after all these years. When you've built up
a whole identity around being an outsider, then find yourself in People and
Entertainment Weekly, it's very disorienting. I'm having to adjust my self-concept a lot:' In the works: a 25th anniversary
collection of Dykes to Watch Out For and a new memoir.
0 CarolAnshawcan leg-press 400 pounds (be still, our
always the fear that we're just getting by on 'novelty value; of course-and
you could argue that my books especially, with their period element, are
a rather safe choice for heterosexual readers. But I'd like to think that the
changes we're witnessing here will be more lasting than that:'
first two novels, Tea and A Seahorse Year, both feature
C) StaceyD'Erasmo's
complex gay and lesbian characters that appeal to a wide audience. The former editor of the Village Voice Literary Supplement says, ''I've been well and
widely reviewed, and though there have been some homophobic strains in
the response to my work, they haven't been crushing ... ! do think I've had
to work harder sometimes, and be more patient, than I might have had to
beating hearts), but she makes this list for her powerful
command of language. About her work, starting with the
inventive Aquamarine, Anshaw says, "I hope my lesbian
readers will see some of their own stories in my books. I am trying to paint
them onto a larger canvas, where their sexuality is only one aspect of who
they are. It's like, OK, we all came out and put up the rainbow flag and did
all the hard work of getting here, and now what:"'
0 Scottish writer AliSmithhas dedicated all seven of her books to her longterm partner. Smith's playfully experimental work has only recently started
to get the recognition it deserves stateside, after The Accidental was shortlisted for the prestigious Booker Prize.
addition to writing the classic lesbian coming-of-age novel, Rubyfruit
Jungle, RitaMaeBrownis the author of two mystery series, the Mrs. Murphy
be if I were either closeted or straight:'
books, coauthored by Brown's feline, Sneaky Pie Brown, and the "Sister" Jane
foxhunting mysteries. She notes, "[I'm] totally in love with my pack of foxgraphic portrayals of Southern poverty, family struggles,
Allison's
0 Dorothy
hounds, horses and all the rescue animals. Humans come and go from my
and physical and sexual abuse-most notably in the National Book Award
life, in the romantic sense, because
finalist Bastard Out of Carolina-have made her one of the most recONTHEWEB
sooner or later they realize I really do
ognized out writers in contemporary fiction.
WATROUS]
love animals more:' [ANGELA
Formoreof curve's favoritelesbian
AmyBloom
authors,includingSapphire,
andLindaVillarosagoto curvemag.com.
60 curve
I
In
41!>
Tech Girl REVIEWS
Stem Cells Minus the Controversy
Biotech might be the solution to some of the health problems lesbians face. I By Anna Lonnberg
According to GayHealth.com, lesbians are twice as likely to be overweight or obese than heterosexual
women. This, in addition to higher
rates of smoking and high stress levels, a lack of exercise and decreased
access to healthcare, all put lesbians
at a greater risk for heart disease and
diabetes. Now, however, there may
be a way to prevent and treat these
diseases using revolutionary stem
cell biotechnology.
A team at UCLA successfully
manipulated human skin cells into
induced pluripotent stem cells, or
IPS cells-which
are functionally
and biologically similar to embryonic cells-without
using human
embryos or eggs. The UCLA researcher, professor of biological
chemistry and lead author of this
study, Kathrin Plath, said to UCLA
Newsroom, "Our reprogrammed human skin cells were virtually indistinguishable from human embryonic stem cells ... Our findings are an important
step toward manipulating differentiated human cells to generate an unlimited supply of
patient-specific pluripotent stem cells. We are
very excited about the potential implications:'
Altering adult stem cells, harvested from skin,
into embryonic stem cells could potentially pro-
which can be used to treat Parkinson's disease.
Because stem cell research using human embryos is so controversial, other scientists around
the world have also begun studies using different methods to create stem cells. A team at the
University of Warwick Medical School in the
UK plans to create them by combining human
skin cells with empty pig eggs to create embryos with 99.9 percent human DNA and 0.1
percent pig DNA. Although these embryonic
stem cells will be able to grow into any tissue in
the body, such as human heart cells or beta islet
cells, scientists don't plan to use these for treating humans. Instead, they'll use them to learn
how genetic mutations cause certain cells to
malfunction, leading to life-threatening diseases
likediabetes.
Whatit is: o.d.m.watches,the Singaporeto-Parisfashion-meets-tech
timepieces
vide an endless resource: immune-compatible
cells that fight disease. For example, embryonic
cells can be coaxed into becoming beta islets, the
cells that fight diabetes by making insulin in the
pancreas. They can also be made into hematopoetic cells, which can create a new blood supply
for leukemia patients, and motor neuron cells,
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StudioVersion12 is a program
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videoswithoutleavingyourhouseor evenyour
computerdesk.Theprogramcomesin threeversions:Regular($50),Plus($100)andUltimate
($130).Aftercapturingvideo,youcanuploadandeditit withthe program.Oneof the newfeatures
of Version12 is calledPinnacle
Montage,
whichblendsclips
intoa smoothsequence
andhas11themesand80 templates
for youto choosefrom.Onceyou'vefinishedediting,youcan
uploadit ontoYouTubeor othervideo-sharing
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portabledevicelikea PSPor iPod,or youcanmakea hardcopy
of it on DVDor Blu-Ray.
TheUltimateversionhasBlu-Raycapabilitiesandalsocomeswith a plug-indiscthatcontainsmore
visualandsoundeffectsfeatures.Don'tjust bea moviegoer,
be
a moviemaker.
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January/February
2009 \ 61
11 Tried It
REVIEWS
Hippies, Herbs and Hornets, Oh My
A city girl finds out just how useful plants can be. I By Aislinn Clevenger
My parents, who couldn't be more different from each other, divorced
when I was 4. My father is a conservative who enjoys the comforts of the
material world, and my mother is a back-to-the-earth eccentric who once
lived in a rainforest coffee shack with no running water or electricity. I'd
like to think that I fall somewhere in the middle. I live in the city because
I enjoy the thrills of the concrete jungle, but I also crave the rejuvenation
found only in nature. So when my mom invited me on a field trip to the
forest with her herbal practitioner class, I accepted.
My mom and I met the other herbal practitioners at an empty campground deep in an Oregon forest. We circled around the instructor, Howie,
a well-regarded herbalist with long, straggly brown hair and a fluffy beard.
Surrounded by Birkenstocks and corduroy, I felt a little out of place in my
low-cut jeans and North Face down jacket, but I shrugged it off. I wasn't
there to try to fit in. I was there to spend time with my mom, get some
fresh air and learn a little bit about herbs.
Across the road from the campground, a field of wildflowers spread
out before us for several acres. I paused before stepping onto the narrow
deer track that ran through the meadow. My white sneakers were about to
become a different color.
About halfway into the field, I glanced
down to look at the sad state of my shoes and
noticed the bright butt of a hornet buzzing
around my legs. I quickened my step in the
hope that the hornet and I just happened to
be crossing paths. But the next thing I knew,
I was completely engulfed. I screamed and
Howie appeared by my side.
"Run!" he yelled. I took off back down the
trail, Howie and his flowing mane bounding
along beside me. Hornets were swarming
around my face; a few were even stuck in my
hair. "Stop!" Howie called out. I did and he
frantically brushed the hornets away with his
hands. "Run!" And off I went again. I yelped
as they stung my face. Howie and I continued our run across the field, and just as we
reached the road, the hornets finally dissipated. I stood staring at Howie;
we were both wide-eyed and breathless. I didn't know whether to laugh or
cry. It was a horrifying experience, but I could only imagine how the two
of us looked, flailing through the meadow.
Howie motioned for the rest of the group to come back to the campground and I sat down at a picnic table.
"This would be a great time to teach you how to treat bee stings;'
Howie said. "There is a small plant called pipsessewa. The leaves are thick
and shiny and have serrated edges.There is a tannic oil in pipsessewa that
neutralizes the bee venom and reduces the irritation. So, let's go pick a few
of these plants and we'll treat Aislinn's stings:'
Soon the group was back from the forest and huddled around me.
"Now, what you do;' Howie stated, putting a leaf in his mouth, "is chew
62 I curve
the leaf up. It's pretty
bitter, but it's worth
it. Then, you take the
pulp and simply put it
on the sting:' And with
that, he plopped a glob
of the mashed leaf on
my face.
My head jerked back
involuntarily. I didn't
know how to react. I
was grateful for the
help, but not thrilled
to have Howie's saliva
of the students was
one
knew,
I
smeared on my face. The next thing
do was try to
could
I
All
plopping a mashed leaf on my face as well.
smile graciously.
Amazingly, the pain of the stings began to subside. I was so grateful
for the relief that I shrugged off my disgust at having dried spit on my
face. From what I could tell, this pipsessewa plant actually worked. I was
quickly learning to have respect not only for the plant, but for everything
the earth provides. You never know what medicinal qualities a plant might
possess. And I won't even begin to speculate on what kind of mysterious
qualities spit might have.
Needless to say, I was very happy to return to the comfort of my home
that night. While the field trip with my mom may not have been a rejuvenating experience, it certainly was an exhilarating one.
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I 63
Top Ten I ReasonsWe Love Laurie Deane
thing from classical to country-hillbilly, rockabilly and bluegrass:'
5. She's a regularon the women'smusiclineups:She carries her vast repertoire to women's
events and clubs from the San Gabriel Valley
to Southern California's Inland Empire. She
appears at the famed Ice House in Pasadena
and, after her third appearance at Dinah Shore
Week last year, she has a growing following in
Palm Springs.
6. She'sgotstyle:She's got a slender figure, that
long blond mane, a fondness for countrified
accessories and a suitable amount of cleavage. The cover photograph on her new album,
which was taken during a performance last
year in Palm Springs, is enough to make us buy
it. "I look pretty good, huht' she says.
7. She'sout to entertain:Take one look at her
and you know she just wants her fans to have
a good time.
8. Sheknowshowto useher hands:When she's
not cutting albums, she's cutting tile. A licensed
contractor, Deane started a remodeling business
with the intention of hiring worker bees to do
the labor while she hit the road with her music.
But the economic downturn put her back into
the remodeling groove, using skills she picked
up from her father and grandfather.
Two years into medical school, "the music took
me over;' says singer-songwriter Laurie Deane.
"It's just a calling, honey:' This native of Grand
Rapids, Mich., has been following her calling
ever since, and has just released her third CD,
Laurie Deane, Live, a mix of live cover performances, from the titillating "Something to Talk
About" to the anthemic"What the World Needs
Now:'
Deane, who also plays guitar and keyboards,
is a girl after our own hearts. Here's why.
1. She'sa genrecrosser:She's a little bit country,
a little bit rock 'n' roll and a little bit bluegrass,
with a little disco, retro pop and just about every other genre you can think of thrown into the
mix. "Variety is my specialty;' says Deane.
2. She'splayedwith Melissa:She and Etheridge
are contemporaries. They played the same ven64
Icurve
"My motherwas a Southernhillbillyand my father
a Northernaristocrat,"says Deane. "I grew up on
everythingfrom classicalto country-hillbilly,
rockabillyand bluegrass."
ues in California, including Vermie's in Pasadena
and Que Sera and Tee Cee's in Long Beach-all
popular women's clubs in the 1980s and '90s.
3. She'sa countrygirl at heart:"I headed west to
seek my fame and fortune, and I'm still on the
journey;' she says. There's no denying Deane's
country roots. Her first album, Country Window,
is a collection of original songs.
are eclectic:"My mother was
4. Herinspirations
a Southern hillbilly and my father a Northern
aristocrat;' Deane recounts. "I grew up on every-
9. Shewritesgreatsongs:"Somewhere Between
a Rock and a Harder Place;' which is on her first
album, is a song she wrote about the hard times
she's had. Her second album, Christmas, is a mix
of holiday standards and original music.
10. She lovesanimals:If all that isn't enough,
Deane is also a pet rescuer. "I must have a sign
on my forehead, 'Get Lost Here;" she laughs. "I
rescue cats and dogs, fix them and send them
forward:' So she's put those two years of medical
training to good use after all. "I do live a colorful
life;' she says. [LAURIEK. SCHENDEN]
NOVEMBER 8-15
(;aribbean
2009
•
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