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Description
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ToC Cover: Top Ranked Surfer Comes Out with Amee Donohoe by Gillian Kendall (p34); AMC's Bianca Speaks by Jamey Giddens (p38); Bionic Woman Lindsay Wagner by Aimsel Ponti (p40); Carol Brady Goes Gay by Kelli Dunham (p42); Can This Marriage Be Saved? By Aina Hunter (p52); Destination: Pride (p56); The Other Closet (p60); Get Radical by Stephanie Schroeder (p44); Are Lesbians Obsolete? by Stephanie Schroeder (p46); As Goes Iowa...by Heather Tirado Gilligan (p48); Prop. 8: So, What's Next? by JD Disalvatore (p49); Pride Issue; Cover Photo by Matt Baker.
See all items with this value
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Pride Issue
See all items with this value
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issue
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5
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Date Issued
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June 2009
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol19_No5_June-2009_0CR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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FRANKLY
SPEAKING
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
JUNE 2009
I
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME 19 NUMBER 5
Publisher and Founder Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Diane Anderson-Minshall
Managing Editor Katie Peoples
Assistant Editor Rachel Beebe
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Music Review Editor Margaret Coble
Web Editor Rachel Shatto
Contributing Editors Julia Bloch, Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Gretchen Lee, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
Editorial Assistants Kim Bale, Andrea Millar, Nina Lary, Heather
Robinson, Yana Tallon-Hicks
PUBLISHING
Advertising Sales Diana L Berry,Rivendell Media
Advertising Assistants Hannah Bolton, LaKeisha Hughes
Social Networking Lindy Shelton
Riding the Wave
Anyone who has read curve for a while knows I'm a sports nut. A former
boxer, I get a thrill whenever I watch women athletes triumph. So I was
thrilled when a bevy of women came forward recently to let us know Amee
Donohoe was ready to go on record and come out publicly in curve. Don't
get me wrong-Donohoe,
one of the top-ranked surfers in the world, has
never been closeted, a fact that has kept her from getting-or rather, keeping-a major sponsor. As she says, 'Tm not going to surf in a bikini because
tits and ass are going to sell:' That's the same pressure women athletes face in
a lot of fields: coaches who don't want their girlfriends to sit courtside, managers who want them to femme it up, sponsors who wouldn't risk their tween
girl market by signing a tattooed, short-haired dyke.
Just like the great lesbian athletes who've already graced our coverMartina Navratilova, Missy Giove, Amelie Mauresmo and Sheryl Swoopes,
just to name a few-Donohoe
has had to forge her own path in a field that
can be both welcoming and hostile to queer girls. For that, and for her amazing layback snap, I salute her.
Donohoe is one of many amazing women in this issue, including Eden
Riegel ( the actor who, for years, played Pine Valley's lesbian heiress, Bianca,
on All My Children),Lindsay Wagner ( the original Bionic Woman and many
a '70s-era baby-dyke crush) and an expansive list of TV characters who we're
pretty sure were latent lesbians. Those last two stories are in our whimsical
little pop culture that made us gay section (OK, obviously nothing made us
gay-but you know what we mean).
And of course, it's Pride season, so we threw in a few different looks at
what Pride means to us, along with articles on the latest marriage wins (yay,
Iowa, D.C. and Vermont!) along with a couple of Pride destinations: Austin
(page 56) and Provincetown (page 58). Whether you're hitting a hot spot or
staying near home, here's wishing you a fun and celebratory Pride.
ART
/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Photo Editor Hayley McMillen
Production Manager Ondine Kilker
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
Web Producer Nikki Woelk
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Kathy Beige, Kelsy Chauvin, Jennifer Corday, Lyndsey
D' Arcangelo, Beren deMotier, Michele Fisher, Tania Ham midi,
Jodi Helmer, Kathi lsserman, Gillian Kendall, Kate Lacey, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Karlyn Lotney, Candace Moore, Aefa
Mulholland, Alison Peters, Catherine Plato, Aimsel L. Ponti, Laurie
K. Schenden, Kristin A. Smith, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Robin
Miner-Swartz, Kyra Thomson, Jocelyn Voo, Alison Walkley,
Melany Walters-Beck
CONTRIBUTING
IUUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Paul Michael Agular, Michelle Bart, Erica Beckman, Phil Cho,
Cheryl Craig, Tony Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Gabriela Hashun,
Pat Kinsella, Janet Mayer, Maggie Par1<er,Kimberly Reinhardt,
Elisa Shebaro, Leslie Van Stelten, Katherine Streeter, Kina
Williams, Misty Winter
1550 Bryant Street, Suite 51 0
San Francisco, CA 94103
Phone (415) 863-6538 Fax (415) 863-1609
Advertising Sales (415) 863-6538 ext. 15 or (212) 446-6700
Subscription Inquiries (818) 286-3102
Advertising Email advertising@curvemag.com
Editorial Email editor@curvemag.com
Letters to the Editor Email letters@curvemag.com
Volume 19 Issue 5 Curve {ISSN 1087-867)() is published monthly (except for bimonthly
January/February and July/ August) by Outspoken Enterprises, Inc., 1550 Bryant St.,
Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103. Subscription price: $49.95/year, $62.95 Canadian
{U.S. funds only) and $71.95 international {U.S. funds only). Returned checks will be assessed
a $25 surcharge. Periodicals postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at addttional
mailing offices {USPS 0010-355). Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any
manner, either whole or in part, without written permission from the publisher. Publication of
the name or photograph of any persons or organizations appearing, advertising or listing in
Curve may not be taken as an indication of the sexual orientation of that individual or group
unless specifically stated. Curve welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and
artwork. Include SASE for response. Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient
materials. Submissions cannot be returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope is
included. No responsibiltty is assumed for loss or damages. The contents do not necessarily
represent the opinions of the edttor, unless specifically stated. All magazines sent discreetly.
Subscription Inquiries: Please write to Curve, 1550 Bryant Street, Sutte 510, San Francisco,
CA 94103, email shop@curvemag.com, or call 818-286-3102. Canadian Agreement
Number: 40793029. Postmaster.SendGanadian
address changesto shop@curvemag.com,
Curve,
PO Box 122, Niagara Falls, ON L2E 688. SendU.S. address changesto shop@curvemag.com,
Curve,PO Box 17138,N. Hollywood,CA 91615-7138.Printedin the U.S.
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Features JUNE2009
34
Top Ranked Surfer Comes Out
Amee Donohoe is a Top 10 pro surfer. So why
can't she get a sponsor? (Hint: It rhymes with
"shmezbian.") By Gillian Kendall
38
AMC's Bianca Speaks
Soap star Eden Riegel dishes on playing a
lesbian and leaving ABC's All My Children.
By Jamey Giddens
40
Bionic Woman Lindsay Wagner
The '?Os TV star gets spiritual; we get fan girl.
Plus the 51 latent TV lesbians. By Aimsel Ponti
42
Carol Brady Goes Gay
There's just something about Florence
Henderson that makes us swoon. And the
animated hookups we always wanted to see.
By Kelli Dunham
52
Can This Marriage Be Saved?
Two dykes head to Buenos Aires for some
couples therapy-tango style! By Aina Hunter
56
Destination: Pride
Provincetown, Mass., attracts the ladies every
year but Austin, Texas, just may surprise you.
60
The Other Closet
Lesbians with disabilities deal with a double
whammy of a closet. Here, they tell their tales.
44
Pride,Baby!
Get Radical
These queers reject the mainstream. Bring
on the revolution. By Stephanie Schroeder
46
Are Lesbians Obsolete?
Lisa Haas tackles the demise of lesbianism
in her new show. By Stephanie Schroeder
48
As Goes Iowa ...
Will the first Midwestern state to allow gay marriage
create a domino effect? By Heather Tirado Gilligan
49
Prop. 8: So, What's Next?
We get the word from the lawyers battling for
same-sex marriage. By JD Disalvatore
page40
page52
"There'sa big riskin being
yourself,as a professional
surfer,and comingout."
Amee Donohoe > > page 34
41
curve
Departments JUNE2009
IN EVERY ISSUE
2
10
12
14
17
20
21
22
28
29
72
1,
15
Frankly Speaking
Letters
Contributors
24
Relationships: Ten things you learn
when you come out.
26
Health: Lesbians find acceptance and
help online.
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
Scene
Open Studio
Out in Front
Lipstick & Dipstick
30
32
Curvatures
Celebrity Gossip
LiRo is dunzo. Beth Ditto hooks up with
Evans. And who's been burned this time?
Politics
Looking back on 40 years of Pride.
-.
I Tried It
Top Ten Reasons We Love...
Dyke Drama
When saying sorry ruins the relationship.
AstroGrrl
Attacks on queers spike across the country,
Marge Simpson gets some girl-on-girl
action and LAVA showcases amazing
acrobatic talent.
18
A----~--
64
66
-
.
Music: Freak-folk. Gender-bending
cabaret. Ethereal indie pop. We've got it all
in this month's picks. Plus, Cortney Tidwell
shares her songwriting secrets.
Books: The much anticipated Femmesof
Power (above) gets us excited. Bitch
co-founder Andi Zeisler talks pop culture.
68
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Film: The Guitar and Another Man's
Garden (above) get applause while
Melanie Salazar Case dishes on improv.
70
~
Tech: The women behind LesbianGamers.com tell us about their inspiration
-and their dream lesbian heroine.
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COMING
UP
From the Editor
I like to tell my
co-workers that
curve isn't a job
so much as it's a
lifestyle. At the very
least, working at
the biggest lesbian
magazine in the
country means
you're on, 24fl. Our
managing editor, Katie Peoples,
found this out recently at a friend's
birthday party. Someone let it
•
slip that Katie works at curve,
Dinah Shore has come and gone and thousands of lesbian revelers have slept off their
hangovers-but is Katy Perry (above) still giving
us a headache? Read our full April cover story
on the headliner and decide for yourself.
and she spent the next two hours
regaling everyone with tales about
c~lesbians and fielding ideas for
stories we should cover-instead
•
of eating cake and getting tipsy
I should thank Katie though,
because she, along with the rest of
the team, kept curve running while
I spent several weeks out sick this
•
Shatto even stepped in to help
Toshi Reagon Is Feeling Sexy
She's been making music for almost 20 years and she's still cranking out
sounds that are innovative, joyful and totally infectious. Find out what this
stunning creative genius has to say about beauty, the music industry and
why she feels sexy in the morning.
Katie and assistant editor Rachel
Beebe fill my (impossibly cute
Feminism and the Zeitgeist
"Is it a bad word? Of course it is," Bitch
magazine co-founder Andi Zeisler (right) wrote
in the Washington Post. That's precisely why,
she says, "no other title was even up for consideration." Zeisler's incisive
critiques have recently found another home in her new collection of essays,
Feminism and Pop Culture. She discusses both her publications on page
67, but you can find the complete interview with this unabashed, and
therefore completely compelling, thinker at curvemag.com.
with her friend.
month. Contributing editor Rachel
The Morning After
'
•
me, who mostly stayed in bed
watching reruns of Rock of Love
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Editor in Chief
s Icurve
Sapphic Salon
Award-winning authors KG MacGregor and Jlee
Meyer have long been darlings of the lesbian publishing world. Now, these two literary insiders talk books,
awards and smartass characters.
thanks to all the Curvettes, minus
and Dante's Cove. Enjoy!
w
...J
(/)
platform) shoes.
So, this issue is in your hands
~
•
The Full Pam Grier
You probably knew her as The L Word's Kit Porter,
but before that she was Jackie (right) and Foxy and
Coffy-aka the Queen of Blaxploitation. You read
about her remarkable film career, which spanned
both the civil rights and the women's movements, in
our May issue-now get the inside story from the icon
herself. And girl, does she have stories to tell.
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Love what looks ...
a little like you.
Stylish. Sassy. And the right size for every adventure. The Subaru Forester has what
you love, including curve hugging Symmetrical All-Wheel Drive and a powerful SUBARU
BOXER®engine. No wonder Forester was named Motor Trend's 2009 Sport/Utility of
the Year. It's as individual as you are. Love. It's what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.
SUBARU.
LETTERS
within the queer community and outside it_:
wherein trans people are painted as deceitful, imitative or imposters. Perpetuating
this mode of thought is hateful and
unfeminist, and it reifies the kind of logic
that seems to rationalize the disproportionate amount of violence perpetuated
against trans people (think Brandon Teena).
You should be ashamed of your~elf, for
claiming queer when it's convenient, or when
it makes you money, and for then disseminating this kind of hate into our community.
- Bridget Leising, Cincinnati
A TransTirade
I am a new curve subscriber. The April
2009 issue, in fact, was the first I received
and I was excited to see myself and my com:munity reflected in a publication. Imagine my
dismay, then, when I read your Dyke Drama
column entitled "A Casual Encounter" (Vol.
19 #3], in which you set up rules for safe and
respectful one-night stands and casual sex
encounters. After calling on readers to let
their potential sex partners know of their
kinks and fetishes ahead of time, you then
launch into a paragraph-long tirade rife with
what can only, honestly, be called trans-misogyny, trans-phobia and downright meanness.
Please know that my offense is not at
the idea of pre-negotiating sexual boundaries or attaining consent-it is, rather, at the
gender-essentialist way you construct trans
women as that-which-is-not-female, at I.east
not fully, and at least not until they undergo
surgeries or hormone-therapy to fit cultural
constructions of femaleness and femininity.
I fear this article is merely a symptom of a
much larger problem: that our societal ideas
of gender (trans and otherwise) reduce us
merely to flesh and body parts rather than
(a fuller] identity. Would you make the same
demands of a lesbian who had undergone a
double mastectomy-that
she admit it to
you within the first five minutes of meeting, over a gin and tonic in the bar, before
potentially bedding you? Probably not.
Your article is indicative of a problem I've
rubbed up against time and time again10
Icurve
people are confrontedwith differencewhen they
aren't expecting it, they can react in ways that
aren't always positive-and that is, I think,
pretty indicative of what Michele Fisher was
trying to get at. Should they react negatively?
Hell no. But do they? Yes. I'm sorry, though,
that itfelt to you like uncheckedtrans-misogyny
and trans-phobia, because I don't want you
to ever take that feeling away when you read
curve. I work very hard to make sure trans
women are welcomed and embraced by the
magazine and I hope you stay tuned to a few
more issuesto see how we do so.
Editor's Note: Bridget, we take your concerns From the Front Line
very seriously. If you keep reading, you'll see I really appreciated the article "Hostile
that curve makes a special effort to include Territory" in April's issue (Vol. 19 #3]. As
queer trans women in almost every issue and, an LGBT service member, I am constantly
besideshaving a specialtransgender
attempting to keep my sexualissue back in 2006 [Vol. 16 #7],
ity in the closet and, as the rest
two years beforeOut published their
of the world debates accepting
first transgender issue, we've had
LGBT individuals as they are, the
numerous profiles of trans performmilitary seems to want to forget
ers, authors and activistswe exist. Clearly, they know
we do, or the "Don't Ask,
from Candis Cayne to MC
Brennan and Alexandra
Don't Tell" policy would
Billings-in the last sevnot exist. I can only dream
that the fact that we are
eral issues. I feel proud of
Where's the best
the coverage we've given
willing to lay down our
place to meet women?
trans women (and somelives-but
deny ourselves
times trans men) and their
the chance to ever have an
27% Datingservices
issues, and I've gotten a lot
open loving relationship,
of thanks from transgenor bring our significant
25% At a lesbianbar
others to our promotion
der readers who are happy
24% Activities(sports,
ceremonies and eventswith it. I asked a hand.Jul
bookclubs,etc)
will earn a second look.
of trans women to look over
the Dyke Drama column
Maybe someday things
10% At a bookstore
in question, to make sure
will change. Until then, I
will serve from the closet.
it felt acceptable.A numAt the gym
8%
-Anonymous
ber of them said that honOna cruise
4%
estyprior to sex is the.safest
optionfor them. You asked
Straight Chicks
ifwe'dadvise a woman with 2% At the dogpark
Love Us
I'm
a lesbian in college. My
a mastectomy to tell her
According
to a curvemag.com
poll.
partner that she'd had surschool notebook always has
the current issue of curve·
gery. Truthfully, I would,
and we've had lesbianswith cancerwrite about stuck inside, just in case I get the opportuthat very subject before.I don't think you need nity to read it while I'm having some downto tell someone the minute you meet them that time. Last week, I was in the student lounge
you're a cancersurvivor or a trans woman, but having coffee with a friend when she asked
I do think that beforeyou go to their house with if she could see my copy of curve. After
the explicit intention of having sex that you do she had looked through it, it made its way
need to tell them, for your own safety and the around the room. All the girls were looking
protection of your own mental health. 'When through it and discussing some of the articles
Poll
•
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"I fear this articleis
merelya symptomof
a muchlargerproblem:
that our societalideas
of gender- transand
otherwise- reduce
us merelyto fleshand
body partsratherthan
[a fuller]identity."
(they loved Lipstick & Dipstick). It was
so fun to see all these people who were,
for the most part, married-with-children
straight women reading this magazine and
connecting with each other and with me.
Thanks for shining such a positive light
on the community in such a great way. It
does get around. Keep up the good work!
-Andy Hedberg, Seattle, Wash.
Like Nails on a Blackboard
Love your magazine, always have, from
way back. But with teachers highlighted in your magazine [Vol. 19 #3), I
cringed at your cover headline, "Who's
Exploiting Who?" Ain't (isn't) it supposed to be "Who's Exploiting Whom?"
- Jacquelyn M. Burrows, Hawthorne, NJ.
Copy Editor Katherine Wright's Note:
Who? Whom? Potato, pot-ah-to. Yes, you're
right. But, I thought it was brave to break
the rules on the cover (might sell afew magazines) and it reminded me of that burning
Katy Perry question-who's kidding who?
Corrections:
In our "Get Your Motors Running" pictorial [Vol. 19 #2), we wrote that Katie
Putman lives in Thousand Palms, Calif.
She lives in San Francisco. In "Bringing
Her Over" [Vol. 19 #3) we imply that a
state-recognized same-sex marriage will
be recognized in immigration petitions.
Only federally recognized marriages are
recognized, aka heterosexual marriages.
LUCIE
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CONTRIBUTORS
Curve Gets Around
"It doesn't matter whether you're coming out about being a lesbian,
being disabled, or both. If you feel the need to come out about
it, it means there's still a stigma to it;' says contributing writer
Joanna
Solkoff,
who wrote"Common Grounds" (page 60). Solkoff
has been working with youth with disabilities since founding the
first disability rights organization, the Perfectly Able Club, at the
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. When asked to
speak at a conference on the subject of coming out to your date
about your disability, she realized there was more than one way
to come out. She posted on a Yahoo group to research the article and was surprised at some
responses from co,workers and friends in her small hometown: "So you' re a lesbian? I am, too!"
She continues to promote disability awareness within the gay community by approaching
gay organizations about disability issues and by writing articles. And she hopes, one day soon,
to form a joint organization for gay people and people with disabilities.
'Tm delighted to be continuing my stint at curve and have had the
pleasure of encouraging readers to check out many excellent books by
women authors over the years;' says longtime contributor and book review
editor Rachel
Pepper.
Curve's ongoing commitment to covering the les,
bian book world is something we, as a community, can really take pride
in:'After five years on the East Coast as a coordinator of Yale University's
LGBT Studies program, Pepper is back in the San Francisco Bay Area and
working at UC Berkeley School of Law's Center for Health, Economic
and Family Security. Her latest book project is The TransgenderChild:A Handbookfor Families
and Professionals
(Cleis Press) and her best,known book, The UltimateGuide to Pregnancyfor
Lesbians,has helped thousands of women realize their dream of becoming a parent.
"I think video games are on the verge of being the next great entertain,
ment form;' says contributing writer Danielle
Riendeau.
Her profile on
LesbianGamers.com founders Tracy Whitelaw and Angela Simpson,
"Pushing the Right Buttons" (page 70), was born of a desire to con,
nect with other lesbian gamers and prove that video games really aren't
just for 'geeky boys" anymore. Riendeau lives in Boston, where she
teaches writing and media courses and runs far too many miles in the
wacky New England weather. She has also written on all things geeky and game,related for
AfterEllen.com and GameShark.com and can also be found reviewing old lesbian movies on
her vlog, Retro Reviewing,at After Ellen.
"I started reading horoscopes as way to meet and impress girls;' admits
Charlene
Lichtenstein,
curve's resident astrologer and the author of
our monthly column, Astro Grrl. ''.And then I realized that I could
learn a lot about someone by reading her chart:' Lichtenstein says she
is descended from a long line of persons with extraordinary perceptive
powers. Her great aunt, Etta Weimar, was a famous Romanian card
reader to both kings and queens. Lichtenstein is the author of the best
seller HerScopes:A Guide to Astrologyfor Lesbians(Simon & Schuster),
currently in its seventh printing. She writes a variety of different horoscopes that appear
on her website, www.TheStarryEye.com, her blog, www.TheStarryEye.typepad.com and in
publications worldwide.
121curve
My partner and I just returned
from our European vacation. We
traveled to -London and Paris but
left our hearts in Madrid. We knew
that there was something very
homey about Madrid but didn't
exactly know what until we turned
the corner after sharing a kiss to
see curve on a newsstand! I never
knew you had such a large readership around the world. I could just
see the lesbian and queer women
of Spain flipping through curve
with their English to Spanish
dictionaries close at hand, reading the best lesbian magazine
in America-and apparently in
Spain, too.
-Former editorial assistant
Natalie Bell, San Francisco
Editor's Note: Thanks for the
photo, Natalie! Yes, we like to
imagine European women fawning
over our pages, too. In fact, we're
so taken with the idea that we're
launching a reader contest. Listen
up, readers! Send your photo
of curve in an exotic locale (a
French cafe? A campground in the
Mojave? Your hot tub?) to
letters@curvemag.com and
enter to win our curve Gets
Around contest. We'll pick a new
winner eve,y week in June and
post their photo on the home page
of curvemag.com. The grand prize
winner will have their photo published in print and they'll receive a
lesbo-tastic goodie bag, including
a year's free subscription to our
Digital Edition. Get
snapping, ladies,
and show us
PRIZES
what you got.
WORTH
OVER$75!
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Proposition Hate
A lesbian woman (known as Jane Doe, to protect her
anonymity) is gang-raped by four men in Richmond,
Calif. On her way home from a Minneapolis grocery
store, 32-year-old lesbian Kristen Boyne is beaten
unconscious by two men. These are just two of the
many hate crimes committed against LGBT people
in the past year, and experts say the problem is getting worse.
According to a report compiled by the National
Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP),
the number of reported attacks against LGBT people jumped from 1,486 in 2006 to
1,833 in 2007, a 24 percent increase.
Data isn't available for 2008, but the
number of attacks is expected to be
even higher.
"We do see correlations between
anti-LGBT initiatives and increases
in hate violence;' says Avy Skolnik,
NCAVP coordinator of Statewide
and National Programs."There tend
to be numerical spikes during periods of homophobic or transphobic
political campaigns. It is possible
that [pro-Prop. 8] campaigning
could be interpreted by some as
permission to act violently towards
members of our communities:'
Indeed, the nature of the crimes
indicates that they are reactionary.
The woman from Richmond was attacked when she
stepped out of her rainbow-sticker-adorned car. The
incident brings the issues surrounding the gay marriage debate off the front page and into stark reality.
"This person is a survivor, her partner spoke, she
has a child. All those issues don't always necessarily
come out;' says Tina D'Elia, of Community United
Against Violence in San Francisco. ''A lot of the argument behind the Yes on 8 campaign portrayed gay
marriage as anti-family and being disconnected from
all of that, which is obviously not true:'
D'Elia says that Jane Doe's courage and her honesty
about her sexuality is the reason for the strong community support ~urrounding the incident. Kristen
Boyne (pictured) of Minneapolis has garnered a similar following. In January, activists and friends in her
neighborhood organized a Queer Women's March
in her honor to raise awareness and demand that all
women should be safe on the streets at night.
"The response from the community was overwhelming;' says Andrea Sieve, one of Boyne's good
friends. "Once Kristen's story made the news, we had
people from all different walks of life reaching out to
see how they could help:'
Boyne was walking to a store a few blocks from
home one night when two men began calling her
a "dyke:' When she confronted them, they began
punching her and kicking her in the stomach.
"It was, no doubt about it, a gay-bashing incident;' says Sieve. Boyne's neighborhood is typically
a very gay-friendly area and
the community was shocked
at incident, which happened practically on Boyne's
doorstep.
"Since the march, we have
had an amazing response
from different organizatioi:is
within the queer community,
such as Outfront Minnesota,
locals, artists and community members and several local newspapers;' says Sieve.
''All have shown amazing
support and have stood behind Kristen and our cause
in an effort to get the word
out about the attack, as well
as raise money for Kristen's
medical and living expenses, as she has been out of
work for almost three months now:•
Sieve isn't sure whether the controversy over Prop.
8 and the rise in hate crimes are directly related, but
she does believe the growing presence, voice and support of the gay community may have something to
do with more recent violent attacks.
'fWith positivity, there' will always be negativity from those who do not agree," says Sieve. She
plans to keep the positivity flowing by making
the Queer Women's March (www.myspace.com/
queerwomenmarch)
an annual event. "We have
had such an overwhelming response from the
community and are thankful for all of the help we
have had in planning the Queer Women's March.
We are also extremely thankful for the help that
Kristen has received from community members
and people all around her who care about the
cause:' [KimberlyBale]
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[HeatherRobinson]
June 2009
I 15
the rundown
Is MargeSimpson
playing for our team?
Everyone's favorite animated housewife
shared a smooch with friend Lindsay
Neagle on a recent episode of The
Simpsons.Sure, it turned out to be just
a figment of Homer's imaginationbut let the fan fiction commence ...
Rainbow baby alert! Iron Chefbian
CatCorais pregnant and her wife of
10 years, Jen Cora, just delivered a
son. The couple were already proud
mothers of two boys, ages 5 and
2-delicious!. .. Lesbians get the
coveted Oprah Winfrey bump
thanks to the April 2009
0 magazinearticle "Why Women
Are Leaving Men for Other
Women;' by Mary A. Fischer. first
SuzeOrman,
and now the rest
of us ... Hatemonger extraordinaire FredPhelps,
of "God Hates
Fags" infamy, was banned from entering
the U.K. Taking his hate parade abroad,
Phelps intended to picket a production
of TheLaramie
Project"We will continue to stop those who want to spread
extremism, hatred and violent messages
in our communities from coming to our
country;' a spokesman for the
U.K. border agency told the
BBC. .. A recent Australian
documentary 'outed" the
country's secret lesbian oasis:
AliceSprings.
The outback
town is remote and packed
with queer gals. Now that's what
we call "thunder from down under': ..
GayCities.com
has launched a free app for
the iPhone and iPod Touch that allows
users have location info on gay-friendly ,
bars, restaurants, hotels and beaches at
their fingertips. Now, where is the closest
girl bar?... HalaModdelmog,
president and
CEO of Susan G. Komen for the Cure,
was honored with the Healing Works
Award at the recent Mautner Projects
19th Anniversary Gala for her"outstanding service to the lesbian community"
and her work in promoting the importance of cancer early detection ... At press
time, the California Supreme Court has
yet to announce its ruling on Prop.8.
Let's hope Iowa, Vermont and D.C. sway
them. [Rachel
Shatto]
16jcurve
Lotsa LAVA Love
LAVA,the award-winning all-female acr.obatics, trapeze
and dance troupe, debuted we become with music and
text by lesbian powerhouse musician Toshi Reagon at the
Brooklyn Lyceum in February. The performance, which
focuses on the queering of female relationships, had a very
successful run in New York's largest borough.
"To have the luxury of a 12-run performance and be
able to sit up front, focus and have my life revolve, four
nights a week for a month, around contemplating the
performance and watching it become more juicy," says
Reagon, "was amazing."
According to LAVA's founder and artistic director,
Sarah East Johnson, "While we become is about intimacy
between women and not necessarily sexuality-and most, but not all, the members
are lesbian-we are all comfortable with the way we politicize our performance."
LAVA (www.lavalove.org) is director-led, but the entire group has a voice in the
performance. "The performers generated much of the material through assignments and also do a lot of improv, which helps keep it alive and personal," says
Johnson. "It's a process-a balance of individuality and collectivity."
This "movement ensemble" of artists who perform "acrobatic and feminist
feats" comprises six women, who create and perform in the group's shows. All
the women also teach movement, acrobatics and dance to neighborhood children
and adults. With a studio located in the Prospect Heights section of Brooklyn,
the women of LAVA,including Johnson, who founded the group in 2000, work in
tandem with the Brooklyn community to cultivate partners, performers, funders and
an audience. [Stephanie
Schroeder]
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Who missed the mark and who was right on target?
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1 Revelers at Dollhouse, Minneapolis 2 ProSuzy.com owner
Suzanne Noe at University of S. Florida's GALA 3 Dipstick
and Alison Bechdel at Portland, Ore.'s Wordstock 4 Musician
Ashleigh Flynn with contributing editor Stephanie Schroeder
at WFUV's On Your Radar in NYC 5 Girl Bar rocks Dinah
Shore 6 L&D with author LucyJane Bledsoe at Laurel Books in
Oakland, Cali£ 7 Cybill Shepherd at Cafe La Boheme's L Word
finale in WeHo 8 Rachel Maddow with GoGetYourGirlOn's
Nova Brown at a Mother Jones benefit in SF 9 At the Dinah,
founder Mariah Hanson and Work Out's Briana Stockton 10
Smitten Kitten's Jennifer Pritchett at the Quorum Community
Leadership Awards 11 Jen Corday and Vickie Shaw in
Provincetown 12 The L Word's Daniela Sea, Marlee Matlin,
Katherine Moennig and Ilene Chaiken at Cafe La Boheme
LESBOFILE
Gettingthe Upper Hand
Who's got leverage and who's just burned out? By Jocelyn Voo
TheEndfor LiRo
SamanthaRonsonand LindsayLohan are
officially splitsville according to Twitter, Us
Weekly and your mom. Cele-blogger Perez
Hilton is reporting that not only did the two
end things disagreeably, but also very publicly, by way of the social messaging service
Twitter, where Lohan accused Ronson of
drug use and infidelity.
Since the breakup went public, Lohan has
appeared on the cover of Us Weekly, speaking
openly for the first time about her love affair
with Ronson, telling the mag she's "so alone"
without her.
down last year, saying its sizing was "limiting:'
Look for the rocker- and vintage-inspired
capsule collection this July.
"I'm a CrazyPerson"
Since she won American Idol so many years
ago, KellyClarksonhas had a string of No. 1
hits ("Since U Been Gone;' "My Life Would
Suck Without You") that all have a common
theme: bad breakups. Which, of course, has
fans wondering: Since Clarkson's batting
average is so low with men, could she secretly
be playing for the other team?
"Lesbians tell it to me all the time;' the
singer told PopEater.com. 'Tm like, Tm glad
CoverGirlGoesCouture
it works for you and I wish I liked women
First BethDittoplays model and lands the like that, because oftentimes men are very
inaugural cover of Love, then the cover of hard for me, but I happen to like boys:"
Out and now the Gossip front woman is
"I could never be a lesbian;' she added. "I
stepping into the role of fashion designer would never want to date [someone like]
with her own collection for U.K. label Evans, myself, ever. I'm a crazy person:' Ah, little
a plus-size line. Of course, this could be inter- does she know (as every lesbian who's ever
preted as a snub to a certain retail giant, that had a U-Haul misadventure can attest),
regularly puts out celebrity lines (KateMoss, "crazy" is pretty much the ultimate aphrodianyone?). Ditto reportedly turned Topshop
siac. Kelly, you'd probably fit right in.
18 I curve
GirlFight
When CourtenaySemel, the daughter of
ex.:.Yahoo!CEO Terry Semel, gets burned
in a relationship, she burns right backliterally. A source told the New York Post
that after she and Band-Aid heiress Casey
Johnsongot into a huge fight, Semel "pro:ceeded to beat the crap out of [Johnson),
and then she lit her hair on fire. Casey had
to be hospitalized:'
Semel denies the allegations, saying they
are still friends. But she's got more immediate problems.
"My family cut me off;' she told the Post
in February, claiming that her trust fund was
frozen and her father wouldn't return her
calls. Apparently, the last straw was Semel's.
scuffle with a club security guard in Las
Vegas in 2008, when she landed herself in
jail after drunkenly screaming, "Do you even
know who I am, fucking idiot? Google me,
you dumb fuck;' and then punching him in
the face.
Looks like the old saying holds true: Hell
hath no fury like a lesbian scorned. ■
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OPENSTUDIO
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A P•inkCit Prate e
MademoiselleKat bringsher women to the streets.By Nina Lary
Mademoiselle Kat (www.mademoisellek.net)
doesn't reject the masculine-she just paints over
it. A female graffiti artist originally from Toulouse,
France, Kat works hard to give women a place in
the big city.
"The city is so male;' she says. ''A lot of architecture is male and the city needs a feminine sense for me. I
want the city [to be] more sweetie, sugar, babe!"
As a teenager in the '90s, Kat found inspiration in a
thriving scene of female graffers (a common term for graffiti
artists). In Pink City, as she calls it, Kat met Miss Van, a graffer whose female characters are both erotic and menacing.
"Here is the start of a real story of girls who paint with
pencils in the street in France;' she says. She and Miss Van
started painting together, bonding over a shared love of
color, cartoon, characters and graffiti.
Kat also draws inspiration from the energy of the city,
the solidarity of fellow graffers and a little ol' story about a
woman named Eve and a snake named Na'hash.
"I want to go deeper and deeper into the expression of
desire. The man is not the first on earth for me;' she says.
"The forbidden fruit is not only an apple:'
She enjoys recasting the flagship fable of female sin with
her own characters, which, she says, could all be the same
person. "I think the same woman can be a lot of women
in the same day. Our life asks of us this sort of multiplicity of identities:'
By bringing a colorful expression of the female and its
many faces-playful, sensual, colorful, joyful-into public
spaces, she hopes to create a social exchange. But the law
in France is growing increasingly harsh about graffiti, so
she can't always create murals on the spot. To avoid being
caught and fined, she sometimes paints on wallpaper first
and then pastes her graffiti onto the city's walls later.
Kat and her women have been welcomed in cities around
the world. Aside from shows in Paris and Barcelona, she
has painted at the Can!t Festival in Antwerp, Belgium and
at the International Meeting of Styles, one of the largest
graffiti events in the world. Kat was also invited by les
pekins de Toulouse, a French-Chinese artist exchange, to
paint a mural in Chongqing, a Chinese municipality with
over 30 million residents.
She looks forward to increasing her exposure with
more gallery shows but says the street will always live
inside her. "Urban art is one of the best expressions;' Kat
says. ''This is the true place for my women:' ■
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OUTINFRONT
Barin It All
These women aren't afraid to expose themselves. By Sheryl Kay
TheBestMedicine
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the class of 2009. It's been quite the journey
Uncomfortable situations plus humor equal for Higgins, who, just 10 years ago, was outed
accessibility. This is the equation that has in a journal entry that her mother read, and
guided TaniaKatanto an internationally sue, then was rejected by her suburban Chicago
cessful career incorporating comedy and parents, who told her she was sick and needed
breast cancer. Katan knows all about the lat, help. She was sent to a dozen different psy,
ter, having survived the disease twice, once chiatrists and psychologists, subjected to
at age 21, and again 10 years later. "Being ill blood tests to check her hormone levels, and
and solemn is a bit redundant;' she says. "If I sent to a gynecologist to be certain noth,
weren't able to see the absurdity, levity, com, ing was "physically wrong:' From the age of
edy in my illness, then I would just grab a , 16 until her 18th birthday, Higgins was not
bottle of Jim Beam, a rusty razor
blade, turn on Elliott Smith and
end it all, you know:"'
An awareness activist, Katan,
now 37, can often be seen run,
ning topless in 10k breast cancer
research fundraisers. She does this
not for shock value, but as a visual
reminder of why the runners are
there in the first place. Lesbians,
she notes, are among those who
are most in need of a reminder to
get checkups. "As far as lesbians
and breast exams go, it's our job
to touch each other's boobies;' she
says. "I have no idea why women
wouldn't want to keep tabs on each
other's breasts:' Recently, Euro,
pean fans were enthralled with
Katan's solo performance, Saving
Tania'sPrivates,at the Scotland's Edinburgh
allowed to leave home unless she was escorted
Fringe Festival. Rave reviews have led to talks by a family member and was not allowed to
about a possible film based on the show.
use the phone or the Internet, or to watch
Without diminishing the severity of can, TV. Falling into a deep depression, Higgins
cer, Katan says her illness hasn't been all bad. contemplated suicide. Then, one day, she
"Having cancer two times before my 32nd decided to get out. "I made a conscious
birthday has offered me insight that most decision to take control of my life and to stop
people my age don't have access to;' she says. allowing my parents to decide my worth or
"There's something freeing about knowing you my fate;' she says.
can kick cancer's ass a few times. It frees you
Higgins put all her energy into starting
up to live your life with more urgency, humor the first GSA in her high school and, at 18,
and love:' Be on the lookout for Katan's newest literally pushed her father out of the way,
book, which she is finishing this year.
left home and, by working dozens of jobs,
financed her undergraduate education while
TakingControl
maintaining honors status at the University
Today, 26,year,old LindsayHigginsis poised of Illinois at Urbana,Champaign. She then
to graduate from Tulane Medical School in went on to Tulane as a recipient of a Point
Foundation Scholarship.
While keeping med student hours,
Higgins also managed to serve in numerous
volunteer capacities, including two years with
a hospice, and as an in,home care assistant
for people with disabilities. Most recently, she
helped to found Flambeaux, a New Orleans,
based LGBT support group for the under, 18
crowd, the first such group to organize since
Hurricane Katrina. "I realize that I've ben,
efited from many opportunities that others
, are not afforded, so, for me, it is also
important to give back to the com,
munity;' she says.
Strategistfor Progress
After working for more than 10
years in health advocacy and politi,
cal strategy at the Human Rights
Campaign and eventually becoming
vice president, WinnieStachelberg
has
met her fair share of political heavy
hitters. "I also traveled around the
country meeting LGBT folks and lis,
tening to them share their stories;' she
says. "I am truly lucky:'
Stachelberg also spent three years
in the Office of Management and
Budget as a career budget exam,
iner in both the George H.W. Bush
and the Clinton administrations. "I
learned so much about the federal govern,
ment, healthcare policy and how D.C. works,
or doesn't;' she says of her time there. She
eventually went on to join the Center for
American Progress, a progressive think tank
started by John Podesta, President Obama's
transition team leader. The group's goal is to
help refocus national attention away from
security issues and onto education, healthcare,
the economy and energy policy. As senior
vice president for external affairs, Stachelberg
takes people's ideas and helps to inject them
into the political debate-turn
them into
action and policy. Lesbians, she says, face
unique hurdles, especially during tough eco,
nomic times. As debates heat up, lesbians must
be a part of the conversation too, she says. ■
June 2009
I 21
ADVICELipstick & Dipstick
Summon Your Pride
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: When I came out
to my Christianfamily,they kicked me out that
very night. For the next year,I receivedphone
calls from my parents begging me to repent
and come home and letters from my younger
siblingstelling me they missedme and asking
me why I left. Sadly,the girl I was dating was
dishonest and immature,so the relationship
didn'tlast.Bythistime,I was so desperate
to •
seemybrothers
andsisters,I decided
to tellmy
momit was all a mistake.It's beenso goodto
getto seemysiblings
again.Lastyear,however,
I met an amazingwomanwho makesme feel
completely
loved.I wantto shareher with my
family,but I can't becausemy momand dad
havesaid they'd completelycut me off if I ever
"fall back into that." My sistertold methe same
thing.Jugglingmytwo livesis verydifficult,and
I wouldjust tell themanddealwith it, but I absolutelycannotput my siblingsthroughthat again.
Thestressof comingup with lies to placatemy
family is wearingme out.LastweekI was diagnosedwith MS,too, and I am so scaredabout
whatto donow.- TheClosetIs KillingMe
Lipstick:
Wow, if there was a way I could give
you a hug right now, I would. There is no
easy way out of your situation. You have two
choices: speak your truth and deal with the
fallout or stay in this toxic mess and watch
it (most likely) destroy this
new love. You say you don't
want to put your brothers
and sisters "through that
again;' but what about
your needs? Your quality
of life? Your happiness?
Don't they count for something? Eventually, your
family will realize they' re
going against Jesus' grain
by judging you so harshly.
Hypocrisy is the bane of
society. Closet Girl, you are
far more courageous than
you realize, so grit your
teeth and face this wrath.
Your family loves you
and the world is changing
faster than I can type, so
be hopeful, be strong and
believe in who you are.
Also, check out this online
resource for support www.
whosover.org.
Dipstick:
Lipstickis rightyou need a hug. But you're
going to need a whole lot
more than that right now.
I'm worried about your
health. Rarely would I
advise someon~o stay in
the closet, but ifby coming
out you lose your family's support forever,
then maybe, in this instance, it's not worth it.
I need to know that you have the resources to
face chronic illness. Do you have good medical insurance, financial resources to get you
through if you can't work, and an extended
network of friends who will support you
if you need it? Talk to your doctors. Get a
good therapist. The stress from your strained
relationship with your family could very
well be making your illness worse. Here's a
hug from me, too.
DearLipstickandDipstick:I recentlymeta girl
onlineandthingsaregoinggreat.Weonlyhave
one problem:She has a girlfriend.I'm really
beginning
to fall for her,andwheneverI bring
up the topicof her girlfriendsheshrugsit off.
ShouldI moveonorwaituntiltheybreakup?I'm
beginning
to feellikea mistress.
- SuzyQ75
Dipstick:That's because you are a mistress.
At least she told you she has a girlfriend.
Be thankful for that. Either she's poly or a
player. Even though I give her props for disclosing the girlfriend, she's not being honest
with you about her intentions. Time to drop
her like your old dial-up ~onnection.
Lipstick:Cack! While I think the Internet is
a great place for singles to meet each other,
what's happening here is an online cancer in
our community. Unless you want to get hurt,
stay away from this double-dipping dyke.
Find someone who's actually available and
you'll have much more fun getting to know
her and imagining your life together. Besides,
when you finally do meet one day, you won't
have to wear a bulletproof vest or keep your
eye on the bushes for her girlfriend.
DearLipstickandDipstick:
I onlyrecently
came
out and haven'twantedto date anyoneyet
becauseI don't know what the etiquetteis
surrounding
bodyhair.I don'tlikeremoving
my
bodyhair,butI dotrim.Isthelesbian
community~
a:
moreopento femalebodyhairthanthe hetero- ~
w
sexualworld,or am I stillgoingto be unusual? a
~
- Hirsutein EastHempstead
:E
TOPTENTHINGS
OVERHEARD
ATPRIDE:
10
Wasn'thea womanlastyear?
very different bushy corners on this issue.
Since you're a self-proclaimed trimmer,
why not try one of these muff-dos for your
first hookup?
"'
"'
9
Dirty "V":Some say it stands for
8
"victory," that if you've gotten far
enough to see the "V" shaved onto
your lover's soft upper pussy it's
just that-a victory. You've won.
Others call this the "V" Formation, a
nod to the many birds that migrate
each year (you guessed it), south.
Thisis my bestfriend.
Sheis my girlfriend'sex-girlfriendandwe
datedfor a while,too,whenmy girlfriend
andI tooka shortbreaklastsummer.
I think I just heardsexsounds
in the Porta-Potty.
7
Thatgirl just flashedme!
6
Whereis the beergarden?
5
Is that a hotwomanor a dragqueen?
4
Someone
farted.
3
Haveyourpeoplecall my people.
2
Curve PrideSpecial:
One-yearsubscriptionfor only$15!
1
AreLipstickandDipsticka couple?
Dipstick:
Welcome to the lesbian world, where
hairy is hot! Don't worry, you won't have any
problems attracting women with bushy pits
and furry legs. As a matter of fact, for most
lesbians, the extra hair is a turn-on. You may
find one or two gals who are still waxing their
bush, a holdout from their closeted sorority
days, but take notice when you're dancing at
the dyke bar-you'll
practically see pubes
poking out of their designer jeans.
Lipstick:I'm not sure what gorilla planet
you're living in, Dipstick, but it's not my
gay world. You get turned on when you see
pubes poking out of jeans? (Chill down my
spine.] Not this lezzie!
Dipstick:Forget what Lipstick says and just
make sure to do what feels comfortable.
After all, it's the self-confident swagger that's
going to bring the girls to your yard, not how
neat your shrubs are.
Lipstick:Hirsute, don't listen to Dipstick.
She's stuck in the '80s, and we are in two
Sassy Sphinx: Remember the hairless kitty in Austin Powers? Need I
say more?
The Berm: If your hair is long
enough, a bush perm might be
right for you. The chemicals can
burn, but it's trendy with Roller
Derby girls.
Pullet (aka Pube Mullet): A good
choice for those who aren't ready
to get rid of the thicket. To outsiders,
this girl looks like she's au nature/,
but then springs one on you when
you get down there. It's hairy on top
for sex appeal, but shaved down
below to provide a clean palette for
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Vaginaromo: Rumored to be
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It may be an urban myth, as it
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Lookin Back at the Closet
Ten lessons you' II learn after you come out. By Kate Lacey
They say that in some situations hindsight
is 20,20 and coming out of the closet is one
of them. You won't know what will happen
until you do it, but here are some realiza,
tions that might help you on your way.
you had to pretend you were just two old
pals, in case someone you knew showed
up at the bowling alley. The brain power
required to hide a significant part of your,
self from others can be used for better,
more noble purposes, like curing cancer or
1. Thenewsmightnotshockyourlovedones. writing the script for a lesbian drama that
You fear the rejection that may come after
actually resembles real life.
their surprise that you duped them with
your clever masquerade for all those years. 5. Comingout is a continuous
process.Most
But, once you tiptoe out of the closet,
of us don't get to give a press conference or
maybe no one will even bat an eye at the go on national news to declare 'Tm out!" to
news. The most common response might
the world. If this were the case, it'd be over
be, "It's about time. You were, like, the
and done with, everybody would know and
last to know." Many times, it is your own you'd never need to discuss your sexual,
sense of denial that is pushed up against
ity again. The truth is, we come out to our
the closet door.
families. Then, we come out to our friends.
Then we come out at work. Then we make
2. It's OKto sayyou'regay,bisexualor trans- new friends and have to come out to them.
gender.Call your sexual identity what it is. Coming out is not a single event; it is a
Many gay people do not appreciate it when
series of conversations. It gets easier over
you say, 'Tm not gay or bisexual, I just fell time. You'll learn when to have the sense to
in love with another woman." Hello! Why
come out and when it's nobody's business
not just wear a shirt that says 'Tm not a who you shack up with.
lesbian, but my girlfriend is." What's in a
name? Only courage and the empowerment
6. Youdon'tneedto pushthe issuewith your
you feel when you give your love the respect
family.If you have the kind of family that
it deserves. There's no shame in saying that
doesn't really want to discuss your sexu,
you're bisexual, ambisexual or even plain
ality, but they also didn't go the route of
old ordinary homosexual.
kicking you into the street, you do not need
to have that awkward conversation with
3. It's lonelierinsidethe closetthanout.Your them more than once. There is no need to
ticket to gay parades in bright sunl~ght, turn every family gathering into a group
bars where you can grind with a same,sex
therapy session. If they don't ask you about
partner and websites where you can use it, but treat you the same and treat your
your full name is waiting to be punched.
partner respectfully, then why rock the
The fear of rejection and ridicule is doing
boat? However, you may have to come out
nothing more than keeping you isolated.
to your grandmother over and over again,
You'll find more dates by getting out there
because she has lost touch with reality and
than you ever will slow dancing with the forgets what you already told her.
Odor Eaters in the walk,in.
7. If peoplecan't embracethe real you,then
4. You'llfree yourmindfor otherthings.Do youdon'twantthemin yourlife. Send those
you realize how much energy it takes to folks off to the White Sale to buy a new
swap pronouns in advance of using them?
sheet to wear at their next cross burning
Changing all those "she"s to "he"s as you tell and don't waste your energy missing them.
the story of your hot date last weekend is
exhausting. And that's the hot date where 8. On the other hand,sometimesit's OKto
24
Icurve
forgiveyour lovedones. If your family or
friends can't accept you as a gay person, try
to keep a door open and an olive branch
extended. Be the bigger person, especially
if the person, say your grandparent, is ill.
In the end, it will make you feel better that
you didn't shut them out.
9. Onceyou'reout,youcanneverreallygoback
in.That's like trying to fit into your old prom
dress. You can do it, but it's not pretty.
10. Half the peopleyouwent to schoolwith
are gay.The fact that all those high school
and college classmates are out and proud ~
makes all those years you felt so different ~
into a gay ironic comedy. If only you had ~
0
known, the crowning of the homecoming
~
queen would have taken on a whole new ~
meaning. ■
I
~
One is good. Two is better.
Three is a party.
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ADVICEHealth
ComingOut at the Keyboard
An online counselor talks up the benefits of Internet therapy. By Dr. Barbara Nefer
You're fighting with your partner and you
both want counseling, but seeing someone
in your tiny town isn't a viable option. Or
maybe you need someone to talk to, but
you're still coming to terms with your sexuality, so you're not comfortable discussing it
face-to-face, especially with a stranger. In
either of these cases, where do you turn?
More lesbians are finding that immedi-
26
ate, private help is as close as
their keyboard. Licensed professionals are available 24/7, through
online counseling services like
LivePerson.com.
You'll know
right away which counselors are
lesbians, or at least gay-friendly,
because many declare their own
sexuality or invite lesbian clients.
"When I was just starting to
admit my sexuality, I couldn't talk
to anyone about it;' says "Carla;' a
25-year-old lesbian who came out
last year. "I was married and had a
kid, so I wasn't going to walk into
a counselor's office. The only way
I could handle it was by talking to
someone anonymously:'
Online sessions take place via instant messaging. Many services handle the billing and
are able to shield the client's identity. If you're
not comfortable with the counselor, you can
instantly end the session.
I am an online counselor, and almost half
my clients are lesbians and gay men. The two
most discussed issues are preparing to come
out and relationship problems. I always
hear "This is so much easier than going to
someone's office:'
Most of my lesbian clients live in the
United States, but I've worked with women
around the globe, from India to Australia.
Internet therapy means that gay-affirming
professionals are available to women in countries where lesbians are still stigmatized.
Other barriers to face-to-face counseling, both in the United States and abroad,
include living in a small, conservative
community where confidentiality is difficult
to maintain, being at a questioning stage of
coming out and being afraid of the counselor's disapproval. When you're online, no
one else knows your business and you can
instantly "fire" an incompatible therapist.
If you need counseling, you should get itand now, help is literally at your fingertips. ■
Barbara Nefer is a doctor of psychologywith
several years of online counselingexperience
and a highpercentageof LGBT clients.She is
alsoafreelancewriter with an upcomingbook,
So You Want to Be a Counselor.
~@®11@
~~®11@
Lesbian, gay and
bisexual adults are
twice as likely
to have a history
of depression or
anxiety, according
to researchersin the
U.K. who examined
25 past studies of
sexual orientation
and mental health.
LGBT respondentswho said
they needed help with a
mental health concern over
the prior year but didn't seek
treatment, accordingto a 2007
study,Mental Health Services
Access for SexualMinority
Individuals.Mistrustof providers
and concernsabout findingan
affirmativecounselorplayed into
a reluctanceto get help.
Icurve
Respondentswho had
no health insurance
coverage, according to
the same survey. Because
most insuranceproviders
won't pay for online
counseling,it's often priced
more affordably,to make it
availableto clients paying
out-of-pocket.
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©McNEIL-PPC, Inc. 2009
Fold this pillow in half.
If your pillow at home bends like this
and stays bent, it's time for a new one.
If it bounces back, you're good to go.
A bad pillow can mean a bad night's sleep. If your pillow doesn't
provide proper support, it can lead to pain and sleepless nights.
TYLENOL®PM Rapid Release Gels can ease the pain and contains
a sleep aid that, when used as directed, is non-habit forming.
How's that for being supportive?
Feel better,
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tylenol.com/glbt
ASTROGRRL
Take It to the Streets
Sexy secrets, big risks and plenty of fun in store for June. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Gemini(May22-June21)
Sex: A secret crush makes herself known. Will you
return the attention? Career:Sweep out the cobwebs
on the job and begin to plan some new maneuvers.
Not only can you move and shake, you can rearrange
the landscape-'bout
time.
Cancer(June22-July23)
Sex: A particular gal pal has her eye on you. A steamy
June is in store for all Crabs who want to cook. Gather
all your friends and see who is wearing the apron ...
and nothing else. Career:
Join new groups and expand
your corporate outreach. There is strength in numbers, especially when preceded by a dollar sign.
DOUBLE YOUR
PLEASURE WITH
A GEMINI
Geminigalsaresomeof the
fewtrulygiftedacrobatsin the
zodiac,blesstheircreativelittle
souls.(Askherto showyouthe
bananatrick... ) Whattheylack
in stamina,theymakeupfor in
enthusiasm,
sleazypillowtalk
anddirty,delicioussurprises.
Thereis notellingwhatyou
will find in herboxof treats,
buteatthemquickly,beforeit
disappears.
If you'relookingfor
a relentless
bulldozer,
choosea
Taurus.Forburstsof excitement,yourgalis the pinkTwin;
shelikesto doubleherpleasure
andcomesin pairs.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Sex: Lionesses are on the prowl for love at work. Is
this advisable? Only if you're hungry for a particular
perk. Otherwise, search for love after hours. Career:
You are a corporate powerhouse. Mark your territory
and make your move. There is money to be made in a
good idea. If you can't think of one, steal it.
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Sex: Spice up your love life with some different toys
and positions. Better still, try a new locale. Heck, any
excuse for an exotic vacation. Career:
Taking a creative
approach to an old problem will yield great results.
Better still, get a group together to brainstorm. Do I
hear thunder?
Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
Sex: Relationships can be made or laid this June.
What do you need? Who makes you happy? Now
get out there and look! Career:A mentor will help
you out on the job. Some things you can control, others you can't. Know when to let someone else drive.
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Sex: Strenuous exercise will make you ravenous and
passionate. Don't waste all that great energy on the
treadmill. Career:
Forge new business partnerships and
liaisons this June. You can sell the Brooklyn Bridge to
anyone, but how will you deliver it?
Sagittarius
(Nov.23-Dec.22)
Sex: Not only do you have great reserves of energy,
you also have a long to-do list. Hm, how many names
28
Icurve
are on that list? Career:A light flirtation bubbles up
at work. But do you really need the complication?
Who will ·do your filing when the champagne bubbles pop?
Capricorn
(Dec.23-Jan.20)
Sex: Take a risk this June. The sky is the limit, so don't
be shy. You become the planet around which all lesser
orbs orbit. Who will you pull into your atmosphere?
Career:
There are those at work who think that you are
a genius. Prove them correct this June and paint few
artistic flourishes on the usual wonky memos.
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Sex: June is the month to relax around the house and
cocoon. Invite some bosom buddies over for a pajama
party ... pajamas optional. Career:
There is a woman at
work who gives you a helping hand. Notice her and be
suitably grateful. Next month it's your turn.
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Sex: You can charm just about anyone this June. Will
you waste your hon mots on just another pretty face
or will you go for substance? Ah, typical! Career:
Find
opportunities to showcase your job knowledge this
June. You have a lot going for you. Use it before it is
going, going, gone.
Aries(March21-April20)
Sex: June rocks to your roll so make your sexiest
moves now and see how far you can take any romantic encounter. Keep counting, sister! Career:Hard
work pays off this June and it's about time. Will you
spend your dough with reckless abandon or save it all
for a rainy day? Let's guess.
Taurus(April21-May21)
Sex: You become the epicenter of adoration and
receive loving attention through the month. Be sure
to dress the part ... or is that undress the part? Career:
You make a powerful impression on the powers that
be. How good an impression is up to you, though. ■
AstrologerCharleneLichtensteinis the author ofHerscopes: A Guide to Astrology
for Lesbians. Get more at thestarry
eye.comorgotoherblogat thestarryeye.typepad.com.
ITRIED
IT
Dom for a Day
Ever consider taking up the whip? By Victoria A. Brownworth
w
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~
cc
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cc
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0
()
Admit it, with the economy tanking, you've
sat around with a bunch of female friends
and said,"Well, I could always be a (fill in the
sex,worker job here]:•
OK, maybe you only thought it. You never
got closer than looking at those advertise,
ments for phone,sex, massage parlor, strip
club or escort jobs. But you did
think, Would it really be that
difficult if you didn't actually
have real sex? Then you turned
the page. I didn't turn the page.
I made the call.
I'll admit it wasn't my first
foray into sex work. I'd been a
nude model in college. I'd also
been a nude dancer. It wasn't
fun, but it wasn't hard. I made a lot more
money dancing than waitressing, and I never
had to touch anyone.
Now I was older and wiser-and,
I
thought, much better, after years of being a
writer, at using my diverse verbal talents. I'd
been publishing erotica, pornography and
sex tips for years, in addition to my seri,
ous writing. I'd given sex workshops both
for lesbians and for straight women. I'd done
seminars on SIM and bondage and discipline.
How hard could it be to turn all this
working knowledge into a job that would
subsidize my writing? I thought.
Was it all those years in Catholic school
that made me think "dominatrix"? Or all
those years of teaching German cinema,
combined with my white,blond hair, 5,foot,
9,inch frame and 40D breasts that just
screamed leather bustier, high,heeled boots,
cat o' nine tails and black lipstick?
One thing I have learned as a tall, femme,
dom lesbian is that tops are in demand. And
what I know from watching Wall Streeters
lick their lips during Congressional hearings,
a?d Republicans getting caught in fiagrante
brothello,is that straight men in power like to
be on the bottom as much as butch lesbians
like to turn those same tables-as long as no
one knows about it.
The thing about sex work is that it
always looks more glamorous online or in the
movies than it does up close and personal.
You have to get into the persona and enjoy
the role,playing to make it work. I already
knew from my college jobs that being naked
in front of strangers was not as much fun as
Demi Moore and Jenna Jameson attempted
to make it look.
But no one can ignore
the money streaming from
the sex industry-it's big
and it's recession,proo£ So,
I took the plunge.
There I was, "Vida Blue"
dressed in sexy,shiny, warm
pleatherette, looking like
a refugee from an early
Fassbinder film, eager to bring someone to
their knees. I was ready for business.
Or so I thought.
Fantasy vs. reality is always such a buzz
kill. I had been sure I would be so good at
this new job that I'd be free to spend the next
decade writing my heart out with no finan,
cial worries. Then came the actual work.
Being a dominatrix requires more than
just a great outfit and skillful repartee-it
involves being part of someone else's fantasy,
whether you share that fantasy or not-and
I didn't. My fantasy was that I could support
my writing career. My clients' fantasy was
that they could let go of every bit of power
and personhood they had.
You'd think that I would have understood
the complexities of the job I was about to
embark upon and fallen right into the role.
You'd think that I would have been able to
project all my outrage at the way men had
oppressed women, and apply my politics to
a practical reality.
It didn't work out that way. The thing
about sex work is that it is still sex. And I
didn't want to bear the burden of someone
else's need to be humiliated, hurt and less
than human. Suddenly this job was not so
perfect. I tried it, but I just didn't like it.
Some things you never get a taste for, even
when you think you might. ■
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DYKE
DRAMA
Sorry About All the Drama
The expert fumbles a classic lesbo scenario. By Michele Fisher
Now she's mad at me. She said she was tired
of the drama. I was only trying to help. All
they did was fight all the time, anyway. You'd
think she would be grateful to me for helping
her out of a bad situation. Whatever, I have
other friends.
After all these years of being immersed
in other women's problems, you'd think I
could spot a phony cry for help, but even a
semiprofession3:l can be fooled.
It all started a few months ago when Betsy
was sitting at her workstation, staring off into
space with that forlorn look that only comes
from dyke drama. I didn't even need to ask.
Betsy and her lover fought all the time.
As I approached her, I remembered all the
shoulders I had cried on over the years. Let
she who is without drama cast the first stone,
right? So, I asked her what was wrong, and
she told me all about the argument they'd
had the night before. It was over macaroni
and cheese. It had started at about midnight
with a discussion about whose turn it was to
make a late,night snack and ended at about
3 a.m. when Betsy's lover told her to get out.
Betsy had wisely kept her own apartment for
just such an occasion. Not that she ever got
much sleep there, but at least it kept her from
having to blubber on the streets all night.
She said she had called, but her girlfriend
wasn't picking up the phone. I suggested
a text, but Betsy's texts had already gone
unanswered.
That was when Betsy uttered the words
that started this whole mess. "I am just so sick
of fighting. I want it to stop for good;' she said.
Most of us who know Betsy would have been
OK with a murder,for,hire scheme. We were
tired of their relationship, too. But apparently
she had something a little less fatal in mind.
I asked her if she was truly serious about
ending all the drama, and she said that it was
all she wanted in life. I told her to apologize to
her woman. Betsy hated the idea.
She wasn't wrong, she insisted, and she
hadn't done anything that required an apol,
ogy. I reminded her of her last three breakups
with this woman and all the lost productivity
30
Icurve
they'd resulted in. An apology would do the
trick, I assured her. Besides, she didn't have
to say what she was sorry about. She might
mean that she was sorry they'd had a fight at
all, not that she was sorry for whatever the
argument was about. The beauty of the apol,
ogy is that it doesn't really matter what you
are sorry for, as long as you say you are sorry.
Betsy started to see the light. I told her that I
would watch her desk while she snuck off to
make the call.
A few minutes later, she returned with a
less than triumphant look on her face. She
had left the apology on her lover's voicemaiL
She just knew it wasn't going to work. I just
knew that it was, and I said so as I went back
to my own tasks.
.
At quitting time, Betsy was all smiles. It
had worked. Her woman had called her to
say that she had accepted her apology and
couldn't wait to see her!
Another happy ending ... but it was just the
a:
~
w
~
~
~
~
:x::
beginning-of the end.
I suppose I could lie and say that I didn't
see it coming, but how could I when I was
steering the bus? Allow me to remind you
again, dear readers, Betsy said she wanted
to put a stop to this endless cycle of grinding drama.
The next time Betsy came to work with
a long face, I gave her the same advice. She
didn't really want to hear it this time. There
was no way her lover was going to let her off
the hook again with just an apology, Betsy
insisted. And besides, why did she always
have to be the one to give in? It isn't giving
in, I told her. It is moving on.
It was no surprise to me that it worked
again.
Nothing kills drama like an apology.
Couples who live to fight are locked in a power
struggle. The drama is a product of nobody
wanting to give in or lose the emotional
tug-o-war.
AO SPACE
GENEROUSLY
DONATED
BY
For any girl who is truly tired of her dramalock relationship, all she needs to do is say
she is sorry and thereby let go of the rope.
But then what happens?
Well, sometimes couples find a new, better
way of relating to each other and live blissfully ever after. Or, they break up.
Enter Betsy again, just a few weeks after
her second successful mea culpa. I encouraged her to keep it up and apologize early and
often. I urged her not to wait until she was
shown the door to say she was sorry. At the
first hint of disharmony she should let 'er rip.
She took my adviceand sprinted with it. She
was a changed woman-all smiles and all business. You would never know that she had been
a woman possessed by dyke drama.
I was her savior and she couldn't thank me
enough ... until she got dumped.
It happened quite suddenly. Betsy dropped
by her lover's place with some flowers and
her girlfriend told her that it was over, as she
calmly arranged the stems. She told Betsy
that the passion was gone and that their relationship was stagnant. She was bored and she
needed to be stimulated and engaged.
"But fighting isn't stimulating or engaging,"
I told Betsy, attempting to help her understand. Sometimes there is more drama than
there is relationship. Once the drama is gone,
there is just a big empty space where the
relationship is supposed to go, or once was
or should have been. In any case, many couples find that filling the space with anything
positive or productive is just too much work.
Now, I told her, she was free to find a loving
and respectful situation.
But Betsy didn't want to hear it. All she
knew was that she used to have a girlfriend,
and now she didn't. She was more depressed
than ever, and my previously supportive
co-workers elected me jerk of the month.
In the end, all I could do was apologize.
"Save it for your girlfriend;' Betsy growled. ■
THANKSALSO
TOOUR
PARTNERS
joie de vivre® ~ CLEAR CHANNEL
HOTELS
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POLITICS
Where Are We Now?
What Pride means to the lesbian community 40 years after Stonewall. By Victoria A. Brownworth
Every June, queers revisit the same question:
What is the meaning of Pride?
Our perspective on LGBT Pride has
changed dramatically over the 40 years since
the Stonewall Rebellion. Even the addition of
the L, B and T represents significant change
from the early days of the "gay"movement.
In 1969, simply being out was a frightening prospect with myriad repercussions
and dangers. The majority of lesbians and
gay men stayed in the closet, living in fear of
being exposed, losing their jobs and family
and even going to prison.
But in 2009, although full LGBT civil
man, Jeffrey Crowley, to head the Office of
National AIDS Policy.
After four decades of political action,
queers have arrived. Sort of.
When we look at where we were then
and where we are now, the change seems
seismic. We've gone from being unable to
even dance together legally in gay bars to
being able to marry legally in Massachusetts,
Connecticut, Iowa and Vermont. The history of our movement seems to have evolved
remarkably quickly.
The Stonewall Rebellion brought us into
the daylight. It was our Rosa Parks moment.
rights have yet to be achieved, the closet door
is wide open. Only Republicans like Mark
Foley and evangelicals like Ted Haggard still
seem to be closeted.
Discrimination against LGBT Americans
is still rife, but being queer is no longer something that most queers feel they need to hide.
Thus, Pride has taken a very different turn
40 years after Stonewall. Ellen DeGeneres
is a spokesmodel for Cover Girl. Wanda
Sykes and Rosie O'Donnell talk about their
marriages on TV. Rachel Maddow interviews important figures like the speaker of
the House on her MSNBC news program.
President Obama named an openly gay
Afterward, we refused to go back into the
shadows, where straight people wanted us.
Many of us thought that our newly discovered visibility would be enough. It was
presumed that if straight people knew how
many queers were in their lives-including
their family and friends-they wouldn't continue their discrimination and persecution.
Yet for some, seeing queers become so visible just made their hatred and bigotry more
intense. Even as people voted against racism
by voting for Barack Obama, they voted for
homophobia with California's -Proposition
8 and the other anti-gay marriage ballot
measures that passed last year. Forty years
32
Icurve
after Stonewall, the disconnect is still there.
Images of lesbians and gay men in mainstr~am culture have evolved since Stonewall.
Previously, we were portrayed in simplistic
stereotypes-the
flaming nellie queen and
the butch bull dyke. As our visibility broadened, we started to look more like mainstream America. We're no longer marginal
creatures. Now we're the people next door.
This evolution confuses straight people
even more than the stereotypes did. Or so
it seems. The identities that close-minded
straight people have always wanted queers
to assume no longer fit. Demonizing us is
harder now that we look so
much like them.
Still, civil rights struggles
engender fear in the straight
majority, because if the
queer minority acquires
equal rights, it poses a threat.
In the battle for marriage
equality, for example, the
opposition argues that equal
rights for same-sex couples
will somehow destroy marriage for straight couples.
Yet no one can explain how
that would happen, particularly since one in two heterosexual marriages in the
United States already ends
in divorce.
Society seems to be struggling with how
to portray LGBT people. The reflections we
see in popular culture are not representative of who we are. Lesbians like Callie on
Greys Anatomy, Bianca and Reese on All
My Children and Shane on TheL Word are
still presented as omnisexual people who
have a predilection for straight women and
who also have casual sex with men. Reality
shows like A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila
and TheReal World present lesbians as either
hypersexual or extremely unstable, or both.
And the need to marginalize queers as crea- ~
CD,
tures who are driven by sexual demons and a:
~
focused solely on sexuality at the expense of a.
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all else has been stoked by scandals involving
closeted queers like Haggard and Foley.
The truth is, 40 years after Stonewall, we
queers are still seeking our own identities,
which are as varied as those of our straight
counterparts. But, as we struggle for equality,
our own sense of identity is becoming harder
to pin down at the very time when we need
to be able to unite around it. Who are we
really? What does Pride stand for in an era
of openness?
Pride now seems synonymous with a simple declaration: We're here, were queer. But
our tribute to the legacy of Stonewall also has
to be political consciousness and a commitment to political and social change. Each of
us in the LGBT community must stand for
equality and demand more than just lipservice and tolerance.
Forty years ago, it was enough of a statement to come out, because coming out was
life-altering and even life-threatening. And,
while that remains true in many parts of the
world, in the United States tolerance has
given us a the space to live our lives mostly
fear-free.
But that is not enough anymore. Today's
movement requires a level of action that
supersedes that of 40 or even 10 years ago.
We are, as were those who made Stonewall
happen, on the cusp of a tectonic shift
in political consciousness and we cannot
be ignorant of that impending change.
We have to nurture it and that requires
a commitment.
We need to be prideful, by which I
mean that we need to demand equality.
Once, it was enough to merely take that seat
on the bus-to be seen sitting, rather than
slinking to the back. But today we must
demand much more-integration,
instead
of segregation.
In 2009, at this pivotal 40-year anniversary of the birth of our modern civil rights
movement, we need to come out, speak out
and demand the changes that will allow us
to become first-class citizens with the same
rights and privileges as other Americans.
We deserve no less, we must demand no
less. That's the fundamental message of
Pride: We care enough about ourselves and
our community to want more than mere
tolerance or grudging acceptance. We want
equality. We're 40 years overdue. ■
News Notes
GayMarriageBattlesin NewEngland
Aswe goto presstherearebills being
debatedin NewHampshire
andMainethat
wouldlegalizesame-sexmarriage,while
Vermontbecamethefourthstate,afterIowa,
to legalizesame-sexmarriage.
Theoutlook
for the bills lookspositivein the legislatures,
butthe governors
of the two stateshave
saidthey'dvetothemif passed.
Shooting
OutsideLesbianClub
A shootingoutsidea Baltimorelesbian
clubin Marchleft two womeninjured
andonedead.SharoneNewton,34,the
allegedshooter,hadan argumentinsidethe
Coconuts
Cafewhena womanbumpedher
onthe dancefloor.Afterthe clubclosed,
Newtonreturned,struckthe womanshe
hadbeenfightingwith earlier,thenfired into
the crowd.Newtonhasbeenchargedwith
first-degreemurder.
President
ObamaAppoints
LesbianChiefJudge
PresidentObamahasappointedlesbian
attorneyEmilyC.Hewittasthe chiefjudge
of the U.S.Courtof FederalClaims.Hewitt,
whois alsoanordainedEpiscopal
priest,
hasservedonthe U.S.Courtof Federal
Claimssince1998.
NewIVFLawin the U.K.
Expands
LesbianRights
Asof April6, lesbian
couplesin the United
KingdomwhoconceivethroughIVFwill
automatically
be named
onthe child'sbirthcertificate.Thereare
currentlyninestatesin the UnitedStates
that will allowsame-sexcouplesto have
bothmothersor fatherslistedonthe birth
certificate:California,
Connecticut,
Illinois,
Massachusetts,
NewJersey,New
York,Pennsylvania,
Vermontand
the Districtof Columbia.
LesbianTeenSues
to WearTuxto Prom
AnunnamedIndiana
highschoolsenior,
alongwith the
ACLU,
fileda suit
againstIndiana's
LebanonHigh
Schoolafterthe principaltoldhershecould
notweara tuxedoto herprom.Thefrisky.
comreportedthat,"theteen... believes
wearinga dressconveysa sexualidentity
sherejects."Sincethesuitwasfiled,the
schoolhasagreedto changeits dresscode
policy,temporarily.
AndreaShorter
JoinsEQCA
Equality
Californiahired
AndreaShorter
(right)as its
newcoalition
coordinator.
Shorter,whoco-founded
AndMarriagefor
All,a groupof AfricanAmericanleaders
workingto createa dialogueregarding
same-sexmarriage,hasbeenbrought
onboardat EQCA
to buildpartnerships
amongCalifornia'sLGBTorganizations.
Workers,Students
andUnion
ProtestAnti-Lesbian
Comment
An anti-lesbiantauntbya Harvard
Universitydininghallmanagerhasspurred
protestbyworkers,studentsandthe UNITEHERE
Local26 union,whoworerainbow
ribbonsin solidaritywith two womenwhom
a managercalled"lesbians"in an effortto
intimidateandinsultthem.
Senator'sAnti-GayRant
GetsHimNowhere
Colorado
Sen.ScottRenfroelet loosea sixminuteanti-gayrantin anattemptto block
legislationintroducedbyJenniferVeiga,
whois Colorado's
first openlygaysenator.
Thebill allowsemployees
to sharemedical
benefitswith same-sexpartners."Wehave
murder,we haveall sortsof sin.Wehave
adultery.Andwe don'tmakelawsmaking
thoselegal,"Renfroespouted.Fortunately,
his hate-inflatedbreathwaswasted,and
the bill passed.
U.S.Supports
U.N.GayMeasure
TheU.S.StateDepartment
reversedits originalposition
anddeclaredits supportfor
a UnitedNationsmeasure
that callsfor worldwide
decriminalizationof homosexuality.[RachelShatto]
June 2009
I33
She soon joined the state team, and a year later she won a
state title. In the following years she had what she calls "pretty
good results;' including second in the world for juniors.
Although she's had a boyfriend, she says,"It never really felt
right;' and she preferred spending time with women. "I was
hanging around the girls who were openly gay. I didn't have
a problem with that, even when I didn't think I was gay, but I
had a girl come up to me and say,'You really shouldn't be hang~
ing out with them: I felt like, 'Who are you to tell me who to
hang with? Who cares if they're gay?' But you know what? It's
true, There's a big risk in being yourself as a professional surfer,
and coming out:'
By the age of 18, the risk became real for her. Though this
article is the first time she's come out publicly, Donohoe came
out of the closet when she fell in love with another surfer and
refused to hide her orientation. "Everyone knows I'm gay;'
Donohoe says."It's no big secret and never has been:'
However, other surfers and sponsors were less than
accepting. At 21, she qualified to join the world tour, which is
made up of the best 16 women surfers in the world. Although
she loved going pro, she says, "I was becoming isolated on the
tour. A lot of the girls didn't want to be associated with me.
Back then, if I was hanging out with
one of the girls, it [was taken to mean]
we were sleeping together. There was
a stigma, and I felt really lonely. I was
living on the road nine months a year,
surrounded by homophobia. My girl~
friend was back home [in Sydney]. I
did bad that year-my results that
year showed where I was at mentally.
'i\t that time, a lot of girls were mak~
ing a lot of money off surfing, through
sponsorship. One of the main reasons
was they were the typical surfer-long blond hair, blue eyesand they were straight:' But, Donohoe says, she was the only
openly lesbian surfer who was "visually" identifiable as queer.
"I had a sponsor ... but they dropped me because I shaved my
head.
"Back then, surfing was trying to disassociate itself with
anyone being gay on tour. It's a business, you know? Even now,
why am I not sponsored? Because none of the surf companies
are going to sponsor me, purely because I'm (visually] gaY:'
According to the Association of Surfing Professionals web~
site, the 15 other women on tour have at least one sponsor, and
most have several. Typically, surf~gear manufacturers such as
Billabong, Roxy and Quiksilver ask surfers to sign a contract
agreeing to wear their clothes, use their equipment, do photo
shoots for catalogs and-above
all-maintain
an image.
In return, the salary can be well into six figures, plus travel
expenses. Donohoe explains,"The girls ahead of me and a good
20 behind me would be making some good solid dollars:'
Donohoe's last sponsor check came in 2002. "I knew the
price I was going to pay in coming out, but I had a lot of pride,
and I always wanted to be true to myself:' Currently without
a sponsor, but ranked No. 9 and surfing in the Association
of Surfing Professionals Women's World Tour, Donohoe pays
her own way using the income she wins.'Tm not earning any
profit, but just covering my travel to get to the next event:'
Is she bitter about surfing next to people earning 10 times
what she makes? "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard to swal~
low at times-not
about them personally, because they're
great people. But as an athlete, I have to look around and go,
'Why?' It's not really fair. I'm at the top of my game, and I'm
dedicating my life to this sport. Why should (being gay] be
such an issue?
"The surf industry is never, ever going to come out and
say it's because of my sexuality, but I've approached a cou~
ple of companies and I just get, 'No, no, I'm
sorry: I think they don't want their company
associated with that image. They want surf~
ies to have a real feminine look, and I don't.
I don't have a real extreme butch look, but I
don't have the long blond hair, and I'm not
going to surf in a bikini (just] because tits
and ass are going to sell. I'm comfortable in
a pair of boardies, so that's what I'm going
to wear:'
What advice would she give a young queer
surfer? 'i\t the end of the day, it's really good
to be honest. If you do want to come out,
you're not going to walk the easy road. But
it's like with anyone who comes out-there
are people who will leave your life, but some~
thing even bigger and better comes along.
You're going to learn from it.
"I don't take anything for granted anymore.
That feeling of insecurity I had, when I was
a:
younger, about being queer-I don't have that ~
~
anymore. I'm in a good place and it shows in I::;
<(
my results. I'm loving what I'm doing:' ■
:i:
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IDGREATERMIAMI CONVENTION & VISITORS BUREAU
YOURSELF
EBRUARY,All My Children made history when
aytime soap's wildly popular lesbian heroine Bianca
ontgomery, played by actor Eden Riegel, walked down the
aisle with her lady love, Reese ( General Hospital alum Tamara
Braun). As is often the case on soaps, Reese and Bianca's happiness didn't last long. Bianca annulled daytime's first samesex union after learning her new wife had been caught making
out with her brother-in-law Zach (Thorsten Kaye), the day
before the wedding. Fans immediately took to online message
boards, furious that once· again their beloved Binks was going to be denied her happily-ever-after. Hadn't Bianca been
through enough? There was her battle with anorexia, the gay
bashing, a rocky relationship with her initially disapproving
mother, Erica Kane (played by soap legend Susan Lucci), a
rape, a tornado and, most grievous, the fact that almost all of
Bianca's love interests couldn't seem to figure out if they liked
girls or boys. Now, after her most recent dramatic exit from
the fictional Pine Valley,Riegel talks sexuality on daytime TV,
reveals how playing Bianca helped her get closer to her lesbian
sister and answers the question legions of All My Children fans
are dying to know: Will Bianca ever be lucky in love?
I did ... I was working at the White House as an intern that
summer. When I got the job, [the producer at the time) said,
"We really need to talk to you. We'd like for you to fly to New
York so we can talk to you in person and let you know what's
going to happen with the character, because it's going to be
pretty controversial:' And I was like,"OK ... " So, I flew to New
York and met with her, and she told me the whole story from
the beginning, and then she got to sort of the climax moment
and told me that my character was going to be gay. I just sat
there waiting for the controversial part!
Shethoughtyoumighthavean issuewithplayinggay?
I think they expected some kind of response from me, but they
weren't aware that I had grown up in show business and that
my sister, Tatiana, is a lesbian. So, I was totally just fine with
Bianca being gay.
Wereyouat all concerned
aboutbecoming
a rolemodelforLGBT
viewers?
I really didn't know the story was going to be all that groundbreaking. I didn't know daytime had never tackled this issue
before. Then I learned that in the past there had been gay char0
acters, but this was Erica Kane's daughter, for heaven's sake! ~
c5
Bianca wasn't a character that they could just sweep under the ~
0
YoujoinedAll My Children
in 2000,butbeforeBiancacameout mg if the story line didn't go well.
8
as a lesbian.Didyouknowgoingin thatyou'dbe playinga gay The one thing I was concerned about, when I was first told the a?
:::>
character would be gay,was that I knew on soap operas, people g
character?
38
I curve
come back from the dead and they have over-the-top affairs,
so I just didn't want to do it if it was going to be sensationalized-if it was just sort of going to be titillating, or for shock
value, I didn't want to do that. This was a story that was really
important to me, because of my sister, and to All My Children's
creator, Agnes Nixon, who was writing it. Agnes wanted to tell
a beautiful tale that people would be invested in, and everyone
involved wanted to make sure the coming out story was told
with respect-and it absolutely was.
Didyoupickyoursister'sbrainon howto playa lesbiancharacterauthentically?
Yeah, I did. It was a great thing for our relationship. Even when
you are very close to someone, there are things that maybe you
don't talk about in the depths that you should. In our day-today lives as sisters, before I got the part, I don't know that I had
ever really asked her about her corning out story, or when she
first knew that she was gay, because
Tatiana is quite a bit older than me.
As for any advice she has given
me, she has just always encouraged
me to come up with my own interpretation for Bianca, and that nothing I would do would be wrong,
because I was only telling this one
person's story, and every gay person's
experience was different. She made
me feel like I didn't have to worry
about letting the entire community
down, and that was a huge relie£ I
did ask her a lot of stupid questions
early on, like "Would a lesbian do
this?" or "Would a lesbian say that?"
or "Would a lesbian wear this?" and
she basically told me a lesbian is no
different from anybody else.
A lot of Bianca'sfans and critics
havegottenupsetovertheyearswith
someof theperceived
victimization
thecharacter
hasendured.
Wasit hardforyouto playstorylineslikeBianca's
rape?
The rape was tough for me at the time. As an actress, I was
thrilled because I was going to have such meaty, dramatic
material to play, but I was also really nervous. GLAAD, who
had been so supportive of Bianca all along, issued a statement saying they weren't supporting the rape story line, but,
I should note, they later retracted that statement and said
they felt the story was told in a tasteful way. It wasn't just
0
?;
about "raping a lesbian:' You know, there is no way around it,
c5
~ Bianca is a representative to a community, so the show had
ffi to be careful, but ultimately I heard from so many women
~ who told me that watching Bianca go through her pain
helped th.em go through their own pain. Rape is something
~ that can happen to any woman: gay or straight. One in five
5
women experience being raped. Plus, it gave Bianca a daughter, Miranda, and led to the soap opera's audience demanding
that Bianca, a lesbian, be reunited with her daughter when
Miranda was kidnapped. During a time when gay adoption
was so controversial, and still is, soap fans wanted this lesbian character to have the chance to be a mother to her baby.
So, good came from Bianca's tragedy.
A lotoffanshavealsobeenfrustrated
byhowBianca's
lovelife
hasplayedout.Willwe everseeBiancahappy?
Yes,there will be a happy ending for Reese and Bianca. I think
it was amazing that this time around, with Tamara Braun,
who played Reese, we were given total freedom to show the
characters being as intimate as we wanted. We could kiss
and unbutton each other's
blouses and be in bed
together. Nothing had to
be scripted, so that is definitely a positive. Like any
soap heroine, Bianca has
had a lot of tragedy. But,
you know, happiness is the kiss of death on soap operas!
You'vehadnotableachievements
apartfromAll My Children.
Imaginary
Bitches,
theYouTube
dramedy
youstarredin,hashad
over6 millionhits,andyourmovieThe YearOne,whichstars
JackBlack,comesout this summer.
As youfind moremainstreamsuccess,
will youkeepreturning
to yoursoapstomping
grounds
forvisits?
Absolutely. I will always go back to All My Children.They gave
me my start, and Bianca's fans have been amazing. They' re the
reason ImaginaryBitcheswas such a success, so All My Children
will always be home for me. ■
June 2009
I39
aa
The originalcyborg superherostill knows
how to melt our hearts.9YAimsel L. Ponti
40 I curve
consciousness."We feel that what we do
is so insignificant.We have no idea that
every act of kindness, every time we take
responsibility for our feelings instead of
blaming somebody elae... every time we
make somebody else feel good, we are
feeding the collective. We are not just
doing (it]... for that one person.•
I ask Wagner about her level of ful6.llment withthe workshedoes and the programs she runs. Whileit has beena huge
shift from her lifein front of the camera,
she says getting face-to•.facewith people
has made her feel more like herself than
she did trying to makean impact as an
actor. "'This is just me-any insecurity
that I mightstill have about how I'm seen,
rather than just beingOK with who I am,
mysel£-[the workshops are) forcing me
to go to another level with that, because
there's nothing in front of me. There's no
script, there's no story, there's no fabrication. It's just me going, 'Here I am, and
here's what I feel: And I just have this
impulse to share it with people,"she says.
"h's mor~ of.. ·• calling,I guessyoucl say,
because I feel that its something bigger
wasmanifesting
itselfphysically.
"I think that'sthe answer to everything, than me that's pwikingme.•
Wagner and I end this enlightening
myself.
.. [but) the last thing I want is fur
peopleto go awayfeelingguiltythat they're conversationon a bionic note when I ask
sick.Wejudgeounelveuo &st. [so] it'swry her to share somethingabout the impact
important ro talk.about the ideaof us being and influencethe showhas had on people.
of a letter she
ltlvoived
aoilehewin the demonstration of She cites a recent _example
11
received
from
a
woman
who
is a scientiat
diseaseor illnea.
at
NASA.
The
woman
explain«l
that
I wonder oudoud to Wagnerabout the
her
parents
had
insisted
she
go
to
beauty
fnstt.ationI experiencewhen I let so many
other tbinp get in the way of a basic level schooLbutshe waaso inspiredbyWaper's
of adf-care. "That's the human journey; character dtat, for tbt first time in her life,
,he r~
•To tnnacendthis stUffthat she went against • parenta and pursued
keepsUI ~.ezperiendng what I believe a careerin science.11She&aidthankyoufor
i&our actUaL
naturalstate. .. our divinity,if the inspiratiott, an multiple levels,that [I
you will."She add&that she believestrue waa] ableto~
liealing ..camM from a spiritual shift in A1Weof1iae.8-alcV.--tGDdDue6'•PIF'1
about communication, for me; she says.
"I studied acting when I was a kid, not
because I was interested,but becausethese
people that I used to babysit for [Dukesof
Hazzardstar James Best] saw that I had a
pretty tumultuous familylife and ... that I
needed some kind of an outlet:'
As Wagner polishedher craft-she went
on to win an Emmy for her work on The
Bionic Woman in 1976-she learned the
bys to goodacting."H you havejudgments
about a certain type of person you have to
pla~ you cannot play them. Youcan act, but
you cant honestly play that person through
and through,"she explains."If you'replaying
a prostitute and youjudge prostitutes, or if
you'replaying a lesbianand you havejudgments about lesbians,youa better get over
that befureyou start playingthe role."
Wagnerwas iflspiredto shiftfromacting
to helpingothersafrershe experienced
sevttal
yearsof bad health, includingan ulcer.Her
stomach problemsbeganwhenshe was 14
and hit their peak when she was 20. Now,at
60 yearsold, Wagner'stake on it is that her
illnessWU causedby emotional pain that
Florence Henderson
might be campy,
but she's also hot.
By Kelli Dunham
fl'h~ Wo11111n
Who got ma
9,11dgt1 in 11§Rn~h
I was raised by stoic Wisconsin farm people who taught me many important life skills: how
to hoe beets, use a chainsaw at age 10 and (consequently) how to say,"Oh, it's barely bleeding
at all;' in both German and English. And, while my life experiences include both drinking
warm milk directly from the cow and accidentally driving a tractor into a brick wall ("It's
barely bleeding at all;' came in handy once again), watching TV was not really part of my
family-togetherness experience.
Therefore, my ignorance of pop culture is legendary: I only recently discovered that
the Carpenters covered the Beatles' Ticket to Ride and not the other way around. My best
pal says that being friends with me is like being friends with an exchange student.
But ask me any question about The Brady Bunch and I'll have a response faster than
you can say "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia:• The reason? Carol Brady.
After I caught my first glimpse of America's favorite TV mom, I began creating elaborate
schemes to be at a friend's house at 8 p.m. on Tuesdays, when Mrs. Brady would appear in all
her groovy polyester glory.
I wanted her to hit my arm and say,"Oh, Mike:' I wanted her to hand me my lunch bag
with a smile. I wanted her to kiss me passionately in the kitchen and the den, and on a camping trip, and at the Grand Canyon and, of course, in bed-even if we were both completely
clothed in multiple pajama-and-bathrobe layers.
I should have known there was something amiss with my alleged heterosexuality when I
kissed my first boyfriend and had to imagine Carol Brady in her jumpsuit to feign interest.
Yet it would be nearly a lifetime before I came out, with some random steps (attending Bible
college, being a nun) in between.
Fast-forward to 2009. I was watching Broadway I wanted her to hit
Backwards,the New York Community Center's genmy arm and say,
der-bending theater fundraiser. Onstage, mere feet
"Oh, Mike." I anted
away, was Florence Henderson. She was perfectly
coiffed, perfectly in step and perfectly hot. She belted
her to hand me
out "There Is Nothing Like a Dame;' grabbed the
my lunch bag with
crotch of one the queeniest chorus boys and shared
a smile. I wante
a no-less-than-20-second, open-mouthed kiss with
one of her female backup singers.
her to kiss me
Later, the master of ceremonies led the audience
passionately in the
in a chorus of "Happy Birthday" for Henderson,
kitchen and the den,
who, as it turns out, was celebrating her 75th that
very week.
and on a camping
The man sitting next to me whispered, "I hope
trip, and at the
I'm grabbing the crotch of chorus boys when I'm 75:'
Grand Canyon and,
Nodding in agreement, I realized I not only wanted
of c urse, in bed.
to do Florence Henderson- I wanted to be her. ■
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The animated couples you never knew you always wanted. By Rachel Shatto
TURANGA
LEELA
& AMYWONG:
Seeing
the ladiesof Futurama,
LeelaandAmy
(akaGynecaladriel,
queenof thewater
nymphos)
makingoutin
Bender'sGamesheda
new,rainbow-colored
light
onwhyFryhadso much
troublegettingintoLeela's
spacepants.
LISASIMPSON
& PEPPERMINT
PAm: Lisa,the vegetarian
feminist
andfuturelesbianintelligentsia,
andjersey-sporting
softballlesbo
peanutPeppermint
Pattyare
thecutestbabydyke
couple-ever.
MEGGRIFFIN
& DARIA:
Lesbianlove
discovered
in teenagesocial
exilebetweenthe FamilyGuy
outcastandMTV'sdisarmingly
~~==- .. bespeckled
misanthrope.
LARA
CROFT
& JADE:TombRaidersuberfemmeneedsa womanwhocankeepup
withheron heradventures
throughexoticand
mysticallocales,andBeyondGoodandEvil's
foxytomboyJade,a photojournalistwhoisn't
afraidto takeonthealienhordes,isjustthegirl
for thejob.
DR.GIRLFRIEND
& NATASHA
FATALE:
Stuckin dead-end
relationships
withincompetentsupervillains,TheVenture
Bros.'Dr.
Girlfriend
andRockyandBullwinkle
nemesis,
Natasha
Fatale,
cometogether
to commiserate,andstayto cohabitate.
CASEY
LYNCH
& JEM:It's all
beautifulmusicfor Guitar
Hero-ine
CaseyLynchand
'80scartoonrockstar
Jem,whomakea truly,truly
outrageous
couple.
coupleof smokinghotzombie
Resident
Evilhotties'passion
f
thegrotesquely
undead
is onlyrivaledbytheir
passionfor oneanother.
ZARANA
& TANK
GIRL:
G.I.Joevillainess
Zaranaandcomichero
TankGirlaretwoAussie
bad-asses
whoknowtheir
heavyartillery,andbringt
Under--if youknowwha
WONDER
WOMAN
&
SHE-RA:
AnAmazon
queenfromanallfemaleislandand
He-mans'princess
of
powersister,bothwith
anaffinityfor fierce
boots-needI goon?
CATWOMAN
& CHEETARA:
DCComics'CatWomanand
Thundercafs
bowstaff-sporting
Cheetara
maybeondifferent
sidesof the lawbutthey'llcurl
uptogetherin theend-come
on,they'rethe purr-feetcouple.
~
:E
~
a:
UJ
...J
...J
ROSIE
THEROBOT
& ARCEE:
Whensheisn'tspiffingupthe
Jetson'sfuturisticspace
padRosiespendsher
(powered)
downtime
with
the Transformer's
hottest
AutobotArcee.Because
robo-dykes
needlove,too.
VELMA
& DAPHNE:
Something
keptthe
mysterymachine
rocking,andit
wasn'tFredin his
ridiculous
orangeascot.
UJ
~
i
d.
RUBBLE:
Friends,
neighbors
andsecretlovers-these
prehistoric
lesbosrockthe
bedrockandkeepusin
theirneandra-thrall.
n
FAI & SPIDER-GIRL:
A rooftopromance
betw
contraband
parkour
deliverymaven,Mirrors
andMarvelcomic'ssexb
andyes,theyareswingers.
SAMUS
& FAYE
VALENTINE:
Metroid's
SamusandCowboy
Bebop'sanime
it-girlFayeValentine
arejusta couple
of star-crossed
spacebountyhunters
whoselovefor oneanotheris-wait for
it-out of thisworld!
cosmetics spokesperson and the gay
marriage debate is sweeping the
nation - but are these the victories
we should be fighting for?
By Stephanie Schroeder
HELATE
DELMARTIN,
a pioneer of the modern lesbian rights movement, was able to legally marry Phyllis
Lyon, her partner of 55 years, in 2008. Was that marriage a hard-won right or just a sliver of a piece of the
mainstream pie aimed at keeping lesbians happy-at
least momentarily:' Radical queer activists smell elitism in
the right to marry. There is a current backlash-or
rather
increased forward movement-among radical queer and antiassimilationist lesbian activists to ensure rights for all, not just
a privileged few.
Though marriage is at the forefront of what straight society
sees lesbians fighting for, some lesbians don't think it's really all
that it's cracked up to be. "State-sanctioned marriage separates
people and values certain kinds of relationships over others;'
says Aliza Shapiro, a Boston-based producer, performer and
artist. Shapiro's Truth Serum Productions presents events
that often push the boundaries of sexuality, gender, the personal and political.
'Td like to see queers fight for abolishment of all statesanctioned marriage. Acceptance into the mainstream isn't
my endgame. You want to have a ceremony and contractsgreat, but why should couples get tax breaks along with the
reaking Out
KitchenAid:"' Shapiro asks. "The thing that separates us from
heterosexuals is the sex we have. People have forgotten that
up until 2003 our sex was illegal. Our sexual expression,
especially if it includes bondage and discipline or S/M, which
it often does, can still get us into a heap of trouble. I get that
there are people who want to fight for mainstream privileges.
But that fight continues to leave people behind, and that gets
under my skin:'
Self-identified as a black lesbian feminist poet-warrior, the
lat;).udre Lorde wrote in her 1984 essay addressing black
lesbian feminist concerns about white feminism, "It is learning
how to take our diff~rences and make them strengths. For the
master's tools will never dismantle the master's house. They
may allow us temporarily to beat him at his own game, but
44 I curve
~~
~
~
they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. And
this fact is only threatening to those women who still define
the master's house as their only source of support:'
Mainstream gaydom vs. radical queerness is not so much
about labels as a commitment to social justice in our own
backyard. Lorde's statement resonates today for radical queer
activists who say it's really all about helping out, thinking
about and fighting for people who don't look like you, think
like you or act like you. A radical queer, anti-assimilationist
element has existed in the lesbian community at least since
Stonewall. In fact, it was the original lesbian and gay movement that fought against a white-collar, corporate ethic that
was willing to support only the simplest reforms. Reform
politics are sneaky and insidious, says Gina de Vries, a selfdescribed queer femme writer, rabble-rouser and sex worker
who also penned the Hey! Baby column for curve from
1997 to 2004. According to her, reform politics tend to give a
small portion of the community access to mainstream privilege,
creating a gay elite, rather than addressing true disenfranchisement in society.
"It's the upper echelons of the gay population-primarily
male, but not completely, mostly white, upper-middle-class,
with access to higher education, healthcare, high-level jobs and
all types of privilege-who are clamoring for the same rights
as the mainstream;' says de Vries."! see the gay struggle more
in terms of survival. If the only way we can obtain healthcare
is through marriage, that is wrong. I don't begrudge lesbians
who do marry to obtain healthcare and work the system and
make choices perhaps not otherwise made, for survival's sake.
But, we are worthy of more than survival. It's as if those queers
lucky enough to have well payingjobs with good health insurance are saying, 'Well, I have my privilege, so I don't need to
worry about those who can't get adequate healthcare or a
decent living-wage job or access to education:"
There is a whole section of the mainstream LGBT movement, such as the ubiquitous Human Rights Campaign, that
activists who have been around forever;' says de Vries."For me
the marriage part is very complicated. A lot of it arises around
the separation of church and state. It can be very spiritual and
romantic and I like seeing the expression and celebration of
love between two women, but having the state in bed with us
strikes me as very strange:'
According to younger radical queer activists, there's a
myopic focus on "me first" politics within today's lesbian community, with women focusing only on issues that affect them as
individuals, rather than on a broader agenda of social justice.
One such activist is Deeg, who is a longtime member of
LAGAI: Queer Insurrection, a radical lesbian group focused
on wide-ranging grassroots initiatives such as agitating against
United States intervention abroad and against lesbian assimilation. The group uses direct action such as guerilla theater
and satire, and also publishes the newsletter Ultra Violet,
which "highlights the invisible fringe of the rainbow:' LAG AI
looks through the lens of a revolutionary analysis of class,
race, "ownership of children'' and other historically mainstream constructs that have prevented lesbians from gaining
true respect, acceptance and access to society-not simply the
tolerance of mainstream reformism. The group, like most radical queers, is anti-capitalist and works against the patriarchal
systems that continue to persist in our society.
"Since lesbians in general have been pushed out of the constituency of the gay agenda, now more than ever we need to
put lesbian identity forth as a cherished one in the community;' asserts Deeg. "It's a different thing altogether to fight for
rights than to fight for liberation:' Of the work she and the
other members of LAG AI do, Deeg says, "We are creating a
vision that will make it better for all of us, not just a small portion of us. And that is what this revolution is all about-the
40-hour work week at a dead-end job just keeps us all busy
and not fighting for what we deserve. Owning children and
the fake lesbian nuclear family is a deteriorated vision; instead
we want freedom. We don't want to be the same as straight
.•..
of the Mainstrea
.,,..
projects an image of itself as the voice of the queer movement. But radical feminists don't recognize the spirit of the
queer movement in mainstream organizing, in which goal is
to gain access to institutions that lesbians in the '70s originally wanted to demolish. "We sought to completely dismantle
marriage and the military-industrial
complex, not gain
access to them;' says Joan E. Biren, who was activist in the
early lesbian feminist movement. "Liberation, as opposed to
rights, meant remaking society to be better for everyone, not
just 'gays'getting a fair share of the status quo:'
"To say there is a backlash against the mainstreaming of
gayness makes radical queers sound like a new phenomenon,
as if we are outsiders coming in from the outside rather than
.
.,.,
society. We're not the same, so let's stop pretending we are:' ~ •: ·',./ 'V
1
Radical activists agree that more lesbians need to step out,' • '- \
side of our comfort zone and look at those who are unlike us
in the community. Individuals who dress differently, who are
of different ages, races and levels of social and physical mobility,
and have divergent identifications across the LGBT spectrum.
"It's really not an either-or situation;' says de Vries."It's a matter oflife and death for those merely subsisting while so many
of their lesbian and gay counterparts revel in their little
cocoons. And the gap between the gay elite and those people
of all persuasions who have little or nothing is growing. No
one in the community can justify sitting on the sidelines
doing nothing. That is not an option:' ■
June 2009
_-.
I45
rr
•
46
Icurve
HEN FIRSTOPENED,
Time Out New York
described In Heat, in the "Gay" section of the
magazine, as follows:
"In Lisa Haas' comedy, a 50-year-old lesbian is
dismayed at the state of the community, whose numbers are
dwindling in an increasingly trans and genderqueer world:'
This is somewhat ironic, considering that is was a 2008
cover story in Time Out entitled "What Is Gay Culture?" that
inspired Haas to write In Heat, a play about the disappearance of authentic lesbian culture. In Heat is, in fact, a hilarious
sendup of lesbian stereotypes and the concerns in the lesbian
community about trans (and oh-so-many other) issues.
But the reality for Haas, an award-winning performer, playwright and monologist, is no laughing matter. "When I read
that Time Out article, around the same time the Village Voice
published a piece about trans men dominating the queer scene
in New York City, I just felt like someone had blown out my
candle, like being a lesbian wasn't good enough anymore:'
Haas says her struggle to come out and find a community
seemed completely squashed when she read those articles. For
a fortysomething lesbian who came out in the Denver suburbs
before moving to New York City, the idea that lesbianism itself
might become obsolete was terrifying.
In Heat is only one of Haas' many artistic endeavors with
the director Jocelyn Sawyer. Other staples of her repertoire are
Crown Hill Cemetery, about growing up near a graveyard, and
Stacked: A Deviant Doctoral Dissertation (directed by James
McLaughlin), featuring a jacked-up Ph.D. student who uses
her research to pick up women.
In the play In Heat, Doris, a somewhat self-righteous
middle-aged lesbian, has started an organization called
the Self-Identified Lesbian Center (SILC). The show is an
engaging dialogue with both the live audience and the invisible viewers of the cable access program Doris is taping to
promote SILC.
The character is a stern, schoolteacher type who has a
matronly soft spot for her lesbian sisters in need and who, in
spite of her outdated hairdo, frumpy clothes and extremely
sensible shoes, exudes a certain subtle sexual power.
Doris' hilarious monologue and the advice she dispenses
throughout the play in a stream-of-consciousness manner
seem to spring from a very real fear that lesbians will become
obsolete. She laments early in the show that SILC will become
"a cultural hospice for the last of the lesbians, who will be
dying off in the next 30 years:'
The issue the Time Out article highlighted, according to
Haas, is that"there were names for every type of queer-boi,
trans man, bisexual, genderqueer, tranny fag-but there was
not-one mention of lesbians:'
"Twenty years ago I was afraid to say I was a lesbian;' says
the 44-year-old playwright, "and 20 years later I'm embarrassed to call myself a lesbian. I mean, that is my teenage self
talking ... the lesbian who missed adolescence while struggling
with [her] sexuality. My inner teen feels very left our:' ■
z
~
~
~
z
~
•
•
N TWOHISTORIC
STEPSforward for civil rights, Iowa and
Vermont both legalized same-sex marriage in the first week
of April. Iowa's Supreme Court ruled unanimously that the
state's ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional on
April 3. Vermont's Legislature overturned the governor's
veto on a bill legalizing same-sex marriage on April 7, making
the state the first to legalize gay marriage by legislation rather
than court ruling.
The back-to-back victories were surprisingly decisive,
despite each state's previous moves toward legalizing
same-sex unions. An Iowa judge ruled the state's ban on
same-sex marriage unconstitutional in 2007, but added that
the Supreme Court should have a chance to consider the
issue before marriage licenses were issued, a decision that led
to the higher court's April 3 ruling. In 2000, Vermont became
the first state to legalize civil unions for same-sex couples.
"This is a week in which the country turned another corner
[for LGBT rights J;'says Jenny Pizer, director of the Marriage
Project at Lambda Legal, the organization that litigated the
Iowa case.
A victory in a Midwestern state is a significant step in
persuading Americans that same-sex marriage isn't an
ultra-progressive issue, Pizer adds. "It is the heartland. No
one thinks of Iowa as a crazy, left-wing place:'
Unlike the heartbreakingly brief legalization of same-sex
marriage in California, same-sex marriage in Vermont and
Iowa is expected to stand.
According to Molly McKay, national media director of
Marriage Equality USA, California's Proposition 8 was the
last opportunity the religious right will have to strip us of
our marriage rights. She says the ballot measure indicates the
ease with which the California constitution can be amended,
but that the situation there is not necessarily how it will play
out in other states.
"Most other states have a much more protective setup, so
that you can'tjust have a majority of people strip people of constitutional protections with a bare majority vote without some
prior legislative action, and usually only with a supermajority
vote;' McKay explains.
In Iowa, amending the state constitution requires approval
by two consecutive state legislatures before a statewide vote
on the change, and a bid by opponents of same-sex marriage
to change the constitution is sure to fail this year. The current
Iowa Legislature is firmly Democratic, and House and Senate
leaders have publicly rejected the idea of a constitutional
amendment to overturn the legalization of gay marriage.
Vermont's Legislature mustered a supermajority to override
the governor's veto of the same-sex marriage legislation, a level
of support that makes it unlikely that opponents of same-sex
marriage could find the legislative backing overturn the law,
says Pizer.
In another victory in an already-historic week, the District
of Columbia City Council voted unanimously to recognize
same-sex marriages from other states on April 7.
States to watch for future legalization of same-sex
marriage include New Jersey, New Hampshire, Rhode
Island and Maine each of which has marriage legislation
pending. Same-sex marriage legislation has been approved in
the House in New Hampshire and is pending in the Senate
at press time, while Governor Corzine of New Jersey has
indicated that he will sign same-sex-marriage legislation if it's
approved by the Legislature. ■
Ahh,Victory Is Sweet
Same-sex marriagewins
spread acrossthe country.
Lesbian Lawyers on the J:ront
Thebattlefor ourequalrightsis wagedeveryday
in thiscountry,in a milliondifferentways.From
decisions
in countycourthouses
to protestsin the
streetto themereactof onesinglehumanbeing
comingoutof thecloset.Twowomenwhohave
dedicated
theirlivesto careersin fightingfor our
rightsareJennyPizer(right)andKateKendelltwoattorneyswhoworkeveryday,exclusively
for us,in legalcasesaroundthis country.
JennyPizeris seniorcounselandMarriage
Projectdirectorfor LambdaLegal.KateKendell
is the executive
directorof the NationalCenter
for LesbianRights(NCLR).
Theirlife'sworkis
in thefieldof socialchangeandtheyhaveboth
beenworkinghardat it for 20years.
What'san averageworkdaylooklike?Kendell
rattlesoff herrecentschedule:
"In Florida,we
just argueda caseon lesbianparentingand
in oralargumentin a transgender
prisoncase.
Thereis a currentlawsuitattackingCalifornia
safeschoolslegislation
that we arefighting,and
wejust hada meetingearliertodayaboutENDA
in Congress."
Oneof the battlesbothPizerandKendellwere
involvedin recentlywastheverytenserace
for marriageequalityin California.
"Marriage
THE !-1ADISON
A LOEWS HOTEL
LATHAMa.WATKINSu,
■
'WHITMAN-WALKKlt
CLINIC
is a particularly
powerfulissuefor us
to workon,"saysPizer,"becauseit's
aboutthewaythatsocietytreatsus
as less-than,
with respectto thething
aboutusthat'sdifferent.If you're
talkingaboutemployment
or... military
service-gayandstraightservicemembers
do
theirjobsthesameway.pnthatcase],we are
seekingthe rightto betreatedthesamewhen
sexualorientation
... doesnotmatter.Butwith
respectto family,we aredifferent.That'sthe
placewherewe'refightingto betreatedthe
same,whilebeingdifferent."
LastMay,the CaliforniaSupremeCourtmade
same-sexmarriageslegal.However,
those
marriagerightswerestrippedwith the passage
of Proposition
8 in November.
In thosefew
months,18,000couplesweremarried.In addition to workingonthe Noon Prop.8 campaign,
KendellandPizerbothworkedon casesto
challengethevalidityof Prop.8, whichwentto
oralarguments
to the SupremeCourton March
5. At presstime,those18,000marriages-and
the rightsfor all gayandlesbianCaliforniansarehangingin the balancewhilethe Supreme
Courtconsidersits ruling.
"It's beenanabsolute
rollercoaster,"
saysKendell,
"Twelvemonthsago,we hadjust
arguedthe marriagecaseand
won!It wasa shotheardaround
theworld,of a veryinfluential
StateSupremeCourtstandingupfor us in an
enormous
way.It's a joy andelationI canonly
compareto whenmychildrenwereborn.Then,
six monthslater,I neverfelt sodefeatedor discouraged.
I wasgrievingwhenwe lostProp.8."
Suchis the natureof civil rightswork.There
arewinsandlosses."Winor lose,it's still a
long-termfight,"saysPizer."Everycivil rights
struggleis a long-termfight.Wemoveforward
whenwe win,andoftenwe evenmoveforward
whenwe lose."According
to her,simplyinitiating
theconversation
is imperative
rightnow.
Withmanyvictoriesanddefeatsstill ahead,
thesetwo dedicatedlawyersarein it for the long
haul."[Ourmovement]
is aboutaddressing
a
wholerangeof issues-it's notjust aboutmarriage,"explainsPizer."It's aboutfamilyrelationshipsandjobsandsafetyandequaltreatment,
bothunderlawandin society,andeveryfacetof
ourlives."[JDDisalvatore]
l=indingYour Way
SanFrancisco,
Atlanta,Chicago-these
threemajorPridecitiesaregreatto visit
anytime of year.But,you'llneeda good
bookto familiarizeyourselfwith the terrain.
O As a newcomerto SanFranciscomyself,
I recommend
the Nottar Tourists
Guldeto
SanFranclSt:D
(www.notfortourists.com.)
and WhereSanFrancisco
(www.wheretraveler.com).
TheNotfor TouristsGuideis
chock-fullof snarkyone-linersdescribing
landmarksandnightlife,lettingyouknow,for
instance,that at TheCafeyou'llfind "so many
gaymendancingwith lesbiansyou'll mistake
it for a straightbar."WhereSanFranciscois
goodfor its compactness.
Its cutepop-outmaps
will preventyoufromlookingtoo muchlike a
tourist.
f) If you'reheadedto Atlanta,packThe
OutTraveler.
Atlanta,byJordanMcAuleyand
MattBurkhalter(www.alysonbooks.com).
McAuleyandBurkhalter'spassionfor their
hometownshinesthroughin this guidefor the
out-and-about
queertraveler.If you'realso
singleandwell-heeled,
this guideis all you'll
list.Thelatterbook,bytour guidesandanthropologistsKathieBergquistandRobertMcDonald,
is a sassy,comprehensive
travelguidewith
everything
frominsideandoutsidethe gayborneedin yourbackpocketto find greatfood,
drinkandentertainment.
Thepricesfor hotels,
hoodsto WindyCitysightseeing
to whereto
restaurantsandattractionsaren'tdisclosed,
findthe ladies(includinghook-uptips).Outand
andthe informationaboutkid-friendlystuffto
Proud,editedbylesbianpublishingpowerdo andoutdoorrecreationis minimal.Still,the
houseandnativeChicagoan
TracyBaim,is the
guideis thoroughandwell-organized,
andthe
definitiveguideto Chicago's
queercommunity,
coverageof historicalqueerAtlantais top-notch. pastandpresent.Withessayscoveringthe city's
history,fromits originsasa prairiesettlementto
its innovative
responses
to theAIDScrisis,and
8 Andif Chicagois yourdestination,
addOut
andProudIn Chicago(www.agatepublishillustratedbynearly400images,this wonderful
collectiongivesthe city'sgaycommunityevery
ing.com)andA Reid Guldeto Gay& Lesbian
Chicago
(www.lakeclaremont.com)
to yourwish reasonto be proud.[Kimberly
Bale]
: ••••••• ►
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(no more stacks of magazines
to recycle!)
Two women try to
tango their way back
to the bedroom.
Mc,1HanaFalcon started teaching women to tango at a lesbian community center
five years ago, but wanted to create something "more friendly and open," so she
created TangoQueer, a milonga-a tango dance studio-in San Telma, the oldest
neighborhood in Buenos Aires, Argentina. These days, the mi/onga is packed twice
a week with cute, mostly local women and a few men. The atmosphere is genial
but serious, and the evening starts with an hour-long group lesson. When the
lesson is over, most of the beginners drift back to the sidelines and let the cool,
practiced pairs sweep across the floor. This is the story of two women who lost the
spark in their relationship and went to Argentina to reignite it through tango-and
the woman who helped them along the way.
AINAHUNTER
Age:35
Profession:
journalist
Marriedto MargieWilliams
Uncompromisingly
femme
In my imaginarion \\'C have always been minor duracrcrs
L·ontcnr ro die in my arms. In all fairness, ftmr years can make
you sec rhings dif-frrcnrly. And we did have differences and
divisions, some of rhem crippling, bur we hobbled through.
Fast-forward
eight years. Married
now had one apartment
in
a RadclyHc Hall novel: ir's 1928, and we're arrisric Parisians
in i'vlassachuserrs, we
in New York, one home in rhe foot-
hills, one bearded collie d1ild subsrirure and one old SUV
(necessary for rhc hauling of cools and building materials, I
dashing from coffee shop ro opium den ro exquisite house
tcel compelled ro explain). Tl1e economy had crumbled around
parry. Myself writing, Ana·is Nin-ish; l'vbrgie raking picrures
our largely rented lifesrylc and rogcrher we wondered if our
of rhings, Ansel Adams-ish.
airline miles would bcL·ome as worthless as our 401 (k)s.
In rcaliry I am a newspaper reporter, a profession in which
dreaming
and imagining can gcr you fired. And in realiry.
i\fargie is a carpenter, another no-nonsense
profession.
"So, where arc you going fc.wyour honeymoont
friends and
Nevcrrhelcss,
rhcrc
was a honermoon,
afrer
all. To
Argentina. \Ve traded 10 days of August in New York ft)r 10
dars of early spring in Buenos Aires. "Ilic dollar being 1 to 3,
we knew we'd gorge on steak-a
novelry, what wirh us being
co-workers chliruscd weeks before our wedding. \Ve have been
members of char uniquely American breed of carnivore who,
a pair ( off and on, bur mosrly on) for over a decade. And ir is
while harboring an aversion
no exaggeration ( rho ugh I'm sure Margie would disagree-I
chicken and fish in rhe same c:negnry as shiirakes.
am consranrly being accused of hyperbole) ro say that we have
to
red mc;n, inexplicably places
I have a confession: \Ve wcnr ro Buenos Aires primarily ro
traveled the entire world rogerhcr. "!he idea of a honcynwon
learn tango. l'\'e held rhis information
seemed corny and redundant.
phobia abour learning ro dance and looking srupid. Tl1is pho-
\Ve have had quire a few honeymoon-like
firsr was a trip from Tokyo ro Hokkaido
adventures. Our
in 1996. \Ve held
each orhcr in a single bunk bed as rhe enormous cruise ship
pitched and tossed. A voice on a loud speaker cold our fel-
bia has, apparently, prevented me
frt)m
back because I have a
even rn)ing rhc word
"rango" until now. Bur there iris.
\Ve were grcered ar our San Tclmo aparrmenr
leather-skinned
bleach-blonde
by a rail.
in her 50s who gave us rhc
low passengers \\'here ro line up ro board litcboars in case of
name oLrn instructor. t'Vlcrcedcs looked Margie up and down.
disaster. \Ve couldn't understand
"If you learn ro lead well," she cold Margie, "you will be able
a word (so maybe che voice
to
was saying somerhing else complcrely). Ir didn'r marrer. \Ve
da1Kc anywhere, nor jusr rhe queer 111ilo11g,1.
All rhe girls will
just held cad1 ocher, content ro die in each other's arms off rhe
want
to
dance wirh you! Ir is true! You only have to lead!"
I'm sure I witnessed a fresh resolve in my spouse afrer rhar.
rocky, frigid coast.
\Ve had another honeymoon
four years later in Indonesia.
\Ve mer i\fariana Falcon, our rhirrysomcching
andro-femi-
staff covered our bed wirh flower petals. A srurdy-looking
nine instructor, ar her srudio on Avcndia Belgrado, and I was
girl instructed us on the swifr disabling of giant grasshoppers.
(Ir was an uncomfortable moment.)
didn't lcr on. \Ve had a hard rime ar first, bur probably no
·n1e
"I11arnight, rhc warm rain poured down on rhc black sand,
nor rraumarized.
If she thought I was amazingly clumsy, she
more so rhan any orhcr no\'iccs. \Ve had four daily two-hour
rhc sea level rose and lirrle waves licked ar our front door.
lessons, and on rhc night of the queer 111ilo11gd-a mosrly
I slepr, heavy as a corpse while Margie sar up tense in bed
female dance parer-we
imagining us being carried off
of people.
to
Australia, no longer feeling
were able ro rwirl and srrur in front
June 2009
I 53
We take pride in you
Pride in yourself. Pride in your community. We believe in celebrating what's important. That's
why we contribute to many LGBT nonprofits, encourage team members to volunteer, and help
Pride celebrations happen in many cities. Wells Fargo fosters a culture in which all people and
their individual differences are not only accepted, but celebrated! Happy Pride.
well sf argo.com/lgbt
Together we'll go far
~
© 2009 Wells Fargo, N. A. All rights reserved. Member FDIC. (121633_12634)
NOTMANY
QUEER
WOMEN
would consider Texas a prime vaca,
Top: Austin's
skyline; Inset:
Scenes from
Austin's Pride
parade
tion destination. The whole state is known as Bush Country,
because of the famously conservative president who was its
governor. Take a closer look, though. Austin may be the only
liberal gem in the whole state, but it is a true lesbian hot spot.
Unlike Chicago and St. Louis, for instance, where there
are specific streets and areas dedicated to the LGBT com,
munity, Austin's gay and lesbian scene is integrated
throughout the city.Live music, barbecue, Tex, Mex cuisine and
alternative culture abound. In a city boasting a population
of more than 700,000, tolerance is almost a requirement.
Bars and clubs can be found all around town, with a strong
cluster in the Warehouse District. With the University of
Texas and several other colleges in the city, the nightlife is
young, vibrant and accepting.
If you're a dyke who digs the dark, you'll enjoy pregame
action at the 1920s Club on Congress Avenue. It's known as
Austin's "classy"gay bar-part of a vintage '20s Chevy truck
protrudes from the south wall. The customers are friendly,
yet not intrusive. Don't leave before trying one of the bar,
tender's famous flavored martinis-choose
vanilla, chocolate
or almost any berry you can think of. They're all tasty. While
the crowd is predominantly male, women are no strangers to
this boozer.
Afterward, head over to the Rainbow Cattle Company at
West 5th Street to learn how to dance country. Show up on a
Thursday to catch ladies' night. Or, iflive music is what you're
looking for, either the Continental Club on South Congress
Avenue, or Rain at West 4th Street, is sure to meet your
needs.
Those who crave more hands,on entertainment are urged
to go to 'Bout Time Austin, a tavern,style bar catering specifi,
cally to the lesbian and gay crowd, 'Bout Time has everything
from drinks and darts to video games and sand volleyball.
If barhopping isn't your thing, there are plenty of alcohol,
free activities to occupy your nights. Check out Esther's Follies,
a comedy show that is guaranteed to have your gut busting.
With drag queens galore and audience participation in skits
like "Foot Sandwich" (where one lucky tourist eats a sandwich
made with a comic's feet), everybody's evening will start off on
the right note.
You'll certainly have perfect pitch if you round out your
night ~th a visit to the Austin Lyric Opera's innovative
Triangle on Stage program. It's been providing outreach
activities to the lesbian and gay community for close to two
decades. Before every production at the ALO, Triangle on
Stage hosts a meet,and,greet where participants can learn
more about opera from the directors, designers and singers
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LESBIAN
LAY-AWAYS
Hotel San Jose
www.sanjosehotel.com, $95 and up.
A lesbian-owned, bungalow-style hotel where artists
and musicians like to stay.
Brava House
www.bravahouse.com, $99 and up.
A lesbian-owned, all-inclusive B&B on a quiet residential street.
themselves. The meet-and-greet is free, so be sure to get
there early because it's first come, first served.
If you are nursing a hangover the following day, or just seeking a leisurely way to chill out for a while, a movie might be a
good option. The Alamo Drafthouse Cinema on Lake Creek,
one of four in the city, boasts a quiet ambience and a handful
of indie films daily. Enjoy a flick at a quaint table, where you
can be served eats and drinks as you watch.
Once you get your energy back, you might consider one of
Austin's outdoor options, like a hike at Zilker Metropolitan
Park on Barton Springs Road. If you are feeling more ambitious, a 30-minute drive to Hippie Hollow Park on Comanche
Trail is recommended. The park has a steep shoreline that
provides exquisite views of Lake Travis, and it's only $8 for a
day permit. Clothing-optional swimming and sunbathing is an
added bonus for the nudists among you.
If you can be there in June, consider making arrangements
that coincide with the Austin Gay and Lesbian Chamber of
Commerce Pride Parade and Pride Texas Festival (this year,
June 6 and June 14, respectively). Over 10,000 out-of-staters
travel to Austin for the extravaganza every year.
Traveling in September? Check out Austin's Gay and
Lesbian International Film Festival, the oldest and largest
LGBT film festival in the Southwest. Hundreds of films from
upwards of 15 countries are shown each year to tens of thousands of attendees.
Another experience to consider in the fall is the Texas 25
Rodeo. Hosted by the Travis Gay Rodeo Association, this
LGBT-specific event is packed with pool and dance parties,
as well as traditional rodeo competitions. The gay rodeo is
sure to be a one-of-a-kind Texas event for anyone from out
of state.
One thing that is a must-see, even if you're Transylvanian,
~ is the millions of bats under the Congress Avenue Bridge.
These Mexican free-tailed bats return from the South to
roost beneath the bridge every summer. Be sure to visit during sunset, when, like clockwork, the bats emerge in a black
cloud to feed in the nearby forest.
Since you're in the area, why not get some dinner at the
lesbian-owned Mexican cafe, El Sol Y La Luna. If you're not in
the mood for Mexican, there's always the South Congress Cafe
for Southwestern delicacies on or Vespaio for classic Italian.
Looking for more? While, sadly, there are no specifically
lesbian venues in the city, be sure to check for events at Book
Woman bookstore, or in "The Gay Place" of the weekly
Austin Chronicle.■
Mi Yard Bed and Breakfast
www.miyardbedandbreakfast.com, $100 a night.
An Austin bungalow decorated with old reggae posters. There
is a kitchen available for guest use, and a barbecue pit, as well.
Park Lane Guest House
www.parklaneguesthouse.com, $145 and up.
A lesbian-owned B&B in the hip SoCo district.
1110 Carriage House Inn
www.carriagehouseinn.org, starting at $130 a night.
The country breakfast at Carriage House Inn is one of the best.
Inter-Continental Stephen F. Austin Hotel
www.austin.intercontinental.com, $200 and up.
Four blocks from the Austin State Capitol and within walking distance
of the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum, the University of
Texas and the Lady Bird Lake Hike and Bike Trail.
The Driskill
www.driskillhotel.com, $180 and up.
An 1886 hotel with roomy quarters, original artwork, a gym, a
restaurant and even a pampered pet program for an extra $50.
GRUBBIN'
GAY
STYLE
• Salt Lick BBQ: www.saltlickbbq.com
• Uchi for Sushi: www.uchiaustin.com
• East Side Cafe for vegetarian cuisine: www.eastsidecafeaustin.com
• Rosie's Tamale House meets your Tex-Mex needs: (512) 263-5245
PRIDEOFNEWENGLAND
Provincetown is the place to be if you're out and proud-with
By Jennifer Corday
PROVINCETOWN,
MASS.,is a gay-friendly hot spot famous for its
great music and comedy, fine dining, cycling and shopping, not
to speak of dancing and drinking. The annual Women's Week
(Oct. 9-18 this year) is a great time to visit, or, if you're looking for a summertime destination, this East Coast haven has
everything you need for a perfect lesbian getaway (the lesbian
group, Women on a Roll makes an annual pilgrimage there).
The town thrives on its summer tourist industry, and is one of
the most popular gay destinations in the world.
Located at the tip of Cape Cod, Provincetown (or P-town,
if you're in the know) is 116 miles from Boston. If you Hyinto
Boston, the fastest route is to catch another Hight on Cape Air.
It will cost you, but you'll get to P-town in 25 minutes Hat.The
next best option is to take the ferry across the top of Cape Cod
Bay-it takes longer, but you'll be able to kick back and relax
for the 90-minute journey. Unfortunately, the
ferries run only during the summertime high
season, so you'll have to drive if you want to go
for this year's Women's Week. The three-hour
drive is lined with great scenery and you'll enjoy the fall foliage
in all its splendor. As you roll into the heart of Provincetown,
you'll appreciate the East Coast charm of this quaint little harbor town, not to mention the plethora of rainbow Hags.
Fishing has always been Provincetown's primary industry, and you can still see historical relics and buildings that
were once fishing lofts, warehouses and barns. Although
Plymouth is often thought to be the Pilgrims' first landing
spot, Provincetown harbor was actually where the Mayflower
first landed in 1620, and where the Mayflower Compact
ss Icurve
a capital P.
was signed. In the 20th century, artists and other bohemians
Hocked to P-town, making it quite the eclectic melting pot.
The Town Clerk's Office has issued more than 2,000 marriage licenses since same-sex was legalized in Massachusetts
in 2004, making it one of the most popular gay wedding destinations. Whether you are getting married or just vacationing,
you will love the feeling of freedom you get as you walk down
Commercial Street holding hands with your gal. It's as gay
as a Pride parade, without the rainbow beads and the Bible
thumpers. (Well, you might see some rainbow beads.) Enjoy
shopping along Commercial Street where you'll find jewelry,
art galleries, clothing and specialty shops.
The food is fabulous, so it's worth throwing a little extra
cash into your eating out budget. There are no fast-food restaurants, so you'll be forced to try the wonderful fine dining.
At the Red Inn I had one of
the best vegetarian meals of
my life, which the chef made
especially for me. The Red
Inn is known as one of the
oldest and most respected
spots on the cape for fresh
local seafood. For a more
laid-back vibe, jump into the
Lobster Pot in the heart of
Commercial Street. Try the
barbecue pepper shrimp or
the Asian steamed little neck
oysters and a beer. With a
view of the water and great
chefs, the Lobster Pot is one
of the most popular seafood joints in town-you
can't miss it. For something
a little farther off the beaten
path, try Napi's. A local favorite, Napi's is situated on a
windy street made bright and
cheerful with a variety of flowers, as well as local artists' work,
stained glass and carousel horses. The twinkly lights and warm
decor make it a fantastic place for a nice dinner with your lady.
I also loved the Art House Cafe-it's always a hub of activity. Owned by renowned chef Steve Frappoilli, the Art House
offers delicious homemade food all day and night. Try the
vegetarian dumplings-they are delicious. The Art House is
not only a restaurant; it has two stages that host nightly entertainment. The new theater seating, technical equipment and
Pride of New Englandcontinuedon page 71
OR MANY LESBIANS, the coming out process is
about openly claiming our sexual preferences, our bod,
ies and, through these, our identity. Often, the hard,
est part is being open when it's so easy to blend in and
hide. But for some in our community, coming out about being
a lesbian is the easy part. Lesbia~s with disabilities have to deal
with double the discrimination and, often, two closets.
"When I met the woman who 'brought me out' we dis,
cussed having seizures, [because she had them] as well;' recalls
a 68,year,old woman with epilepsy from Berkeley, Cali£ But,
she says,"at one point I had a seizure, and she really turned off
to me:' The memory of this rejection and her experience of
discrimination made this woman cautious about coming out,
and reluctant to provide her name for this article.
There is little information, and even less support, for lesbians
with disabilities. Even the Human Rights Campaign, with its
comprehensive manuals that speak to the African American
and Latino communities, lacks an outreach programs for les,
bians with disabilities.
"I know that I really did struggle with 'Can I be queer, and
can I be disabled?' " recalls Meredith Nicholson, who was 3
when she was diagnosed with pervasive developmental dis,
order, a disorder located on the autism spectrum. For her,
learning to have pride in her identity was crucial to becoming
more comfortable with being a lesbian with a disability. "If
60
Icurve
you can develop a sense of self, you can be queer and dis,
abled;' she says.
I asked all the women I interviewed for this piece the same
question: "Do you feel there is more discrimination against
being gay, being disabled or being both?" The response was
resounding. The disability closet is long and deep, and
often it's those who are assumed to be able,bodied that feel
discrimination most acutely, because part of their identity
is erased.
Chelsey Clammer is one of those people. She has a choice,
she says. "I can pass as straight. I can pass as able,bodied, and
this can be a privilege. Some people who are visibly or physi,
cally disabled, it's just not a choice:'
But Clammer doesn't think twice about identifying as queer,
and neither does Nicholson. Nicholson, now 18, asserts, "I am
more comfortable coming out to people as queer. I get really
anxious that if people know I have a disability they'll try to be
nicer to me, try to pity me, and I don't want that:'
For Nicholson, it was not that her experiences were negative
as much as they were negligible. In a middle school aftercare
program specifically designed for children with disabilities,
staff members voiced the common myth that having a dis,
ability makes one asexual. Nicholson recalls one staffer
saying, "Oh, isn't that cute. She's disabled and she found love:•
And, if Nicholson was allowed a sexuality, it was assumed
6
~
i
~
~
&?
;
that she was straight. She remembers another staff member
asking, "So, did you dance with any boys?"
Every lesbian has to deal with ignorant questions: Where's
your boyfriend? What do you look for in a man? Very few,
however, have been deemed unworthy of having any sexual
feelings at all. To combat this ignorance, Nicholson reveals
her sexual orientation separately from her disability.
"It's been a struggle to find a space where I can be comfortable being disabled or being gay;' Nicholson says. Clammer
may not have found that common ground, either, though she
says she cannot help but "feel that the identities are really
hard to extract from each other:'
But identity politics are not the only concern for lesbians with disabilities. Receiving appropriate medical care is a
pressing issue for the lesbian community as a whole, but for lesbians with disabilities it's especially relevant. According to the
Guidelinesfor Care of LGBT Patients by the Gay and Lesbian
Medical Association, 45 percent of lesbian and bisexual
women are not honest with their providers about their sexual
orientation, often because they don't have a safe, comfortable,
friendly atmosphere in which to disclose this information.
When Clammer was admitted to a psychiatric ward in college, for instance, she corrected the naivete of a clinician who
assumed she was struggling to come out. "I said, 'Lady, I've
been out and proud for four years: And they thought, obviously, I was depressed because I was a lesbian, and couldn't
deal with that:'
Karen Thompson and her partner Sharon Kowalski have
fought their own battle with homophobia in the medical
establishment. In 1983, a drunk driver hit Kowalski, leaving
her seriously disabled. Before the accident, Thompson says
she was too afraid to use the word "gay;'even within her own
household, and neither woman was out to her family. When
Kowalski's conservative, anti-gay family was given control of
her medical care, the couple were forced into the public eye to
fight a court battle for Thompson's status as legal guarantor.
The lengthy legal proceedings were counterproductive to
Kowalski's health, and she was left alone in a skilled nursing facility. Almost 10 years after the accident, in 1991, the
Minnesota Court of Appeals granted Thompson guardianship of Kowalski, setting a precedent for both the queer and
the disability communities. A film, Lifetime Commitment: A
Portrait of Karen Thompson, and several books were written about the case and its place in the history of LGBT
fight for equality, and is the reason why so many women
now have medical powers of attorney. Today, the couple use
their status as role models to educate people on how to be
more disability-friendly.
Looking back, Thompson realizes that coming out gave
more protections than they clhad when they were in the closet.
"I realized that as long as we're invisible, we're vulnerable;' she
says."We're much safer out of the closet:'
In 2007, Cathy Sakimura, an attorney with the National
Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), won another watershed
case for the LGBT and disability communities. When a lesbian
mother with a disability applied for federal disability benefits
for her non-biological son, the Social Security Administration
denied her application, even though a previous ruling by an
administrative judge stated that under California law the
woman was legally the child's parent. The NCLR stepped in
and assisted her attorney in winning the appeal. "This decision is extremely significant for children who are being raised
by LGBT parents with disabilities;' said Sakimura when
the case was won. "The Social
Security Administration has
recognized that a child may
have two legal parents of the
same sex and that the federal government must provide
these children with equal benefits;' said Sakimura when the
case was won.
In both these cases, the
law wound up protecting
the rights of people with disabilities, but their sexuality
made claiming those protections more difficult. Legally,
it seems more protections
are in place for citizens with
disabilities than for LGBT
people, but emotionally, the
community lags far behind.
Activists in both camps are beginning to recognize the benefits of uniting the two causes. And as intersections are drawn,
definitions expand. The expanded Hate Crimes Bill, for instance, which was passed in 2007, covers crimes committed
against individuals with disabilities as well as homosexuals.
More and more young lesbians with disabilities are rightfully claiming their sexual identity and their bodies, and
learning to be proud of both. And, as members of both communities begin to see each other as allies, these women will
begin to be the norm, not the exception. ■
"I really did struggle
with 'Can I be queer,
and can I be disabled:'
I am more comfortable
coming out to people
as queer. I get really
anxious that if people
know I have a disability
they'll try to be nicer
to me, try to pity me,
and I don't want that:'
June 2009
I 61
Baby Can You Hear Mei
How one deaf lesbiancame into her own. By Elise Roy
M
Y GIRLFRIEND and I were standing in the
kitchen making muffins for breakfast when
she clasped her hands around me from behind
and rested her chin in the niche of my shoulder. She whispered something in my ear that I could not
quite understand.
I turned to her and asked, "Olivejuice?" a bit wary as to how
that would taste in the muffins.
"No, silly.I love you:'
"Ohh;' I giggled.
Everyone asks me
the same questions
when they find out
that I am a deaf lesbian: Do you date
mainly deaf women?
Have all your girlfriends known sign
language? And my
personal favoritedo you need to keep
the lights on when
m
e
you have sex?
When I was 10
q estions when
years old and began
d out
losing my hearing,
that I am a deaf
no one could tell me why I was losing it or
how much I would eventually lose. My hearlesbian. Do you
ing continued to diminish for five years and
date mainly deaf then suddenly stopped. My hearing loss was
women: Have all classified as "profound;' meaning if someone
said 100 rand~m words while covering their
your girlfriends
lips and I guessed at every one, I might get
one right.
known sign
My parents decided to keep me enrolled
language: And
in the private school I was attending, afraid
that if they placed me in an all-deaf atmosmy personal
phere I would isolate myself from the hearfavorite-do you ing world. Although I am thankful in many
need to keep the ways for this decision, because it enabled
me to interact in both worlds, it meant that
lights on when
I would never receive any special help in
school beyond getting a classmate's notes,
you have sex:
that I would not learn sign language until
college and that I would not find myself in an all-deaf atmosphere until after law school.
I found myself constantly thrust into embarrassing and
frustrating situations that I didn't know how to handle. When
I went to places like McDonald's and tried to place my order, I
didn't anticipate that they would ask "Would you like to super-
th
62
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Icurve
size that?" or"Would you like anything else with that?" I didn't
know how or when to graciously say,"I have a hearing loss, can
you repeat that please?"
I learned quickly that I had to work twice as hard as my
peers if I wanted to achieve the same grades. The first quarter
after I began losing my hearing, I received a 28 percent on
a geography test. I needed an A in order to pass the class. I
spent an hour each night for a week before the next test having my mom quiz me. I got a 98 percent-the highest score
in the class.
I noticed, too, that my parents and teachers were now surprised when I achieved things like B's in school-something
that would have been expected from me before I lost my hearing. Somehow, despite this, I never let my disability define me.
In fact, in many ways I did not even view myself as disabled. I
even told my dad when I was 12 that I was going to go to an Ivy
League college and I was going to not only be on the national
soccer team, but also the national lacrosse team.
By high school I noticed something nagging at me that was
not my hearing, making me feel different from my friends. I
stood in my kitchen late one night, after my friends told me
that a teacher who I had been able to confide in (one who I
could not seem to get out of my mind) was leaving my school.
While I was thinking about why this news affected me so
much, a voice in my head said, "Elise, you might be gay:'
And then, during sophomore year at my Ivy League college
(with top-20 ranked soccer and lacrosse teams), I kissed my
best friend. She had been waiting for me to get ready, sitting
on the couch in my dorm suite. I could feel the electricity from
her eyes on my back as I stood in my bra, looking for a shirt
to wear. Sure enough, a few Jagermeister shots later, we found
each other's lips. We didn't talk about what happened until
a month later, when we kissed again. In one way, I was singing inside. I felt like Maria in The Sound of Music. Everything
finally felt right. But in another way, I was as scared as Regan
in The Exorcism.
Today, I can say that I finally feel as ifI am myself. Although
my hearing loss and my sexuality have made my life tougher
than the norm, they have also given me a career, taught me
determination and the benefits of working hard, taught me
how to get back up again after being knocked down and
molded me into who I am today. I am a former elite collegiate
athlete, someone who helped write an international treaty at
the United Nations to protect people with disabilities worldwide, someone who has been loved by a few amazing women
and someone who has had the guts to leave her career as a
lawyer to pursue her real dream of writing.
Oh, and to answer those questions-yes, all of my girlfriends
have been hearing, only one knew some sign language ... and
no, the lights do not need to be on during sex. ■
REVIEWSMusic Watch
Let Your Freak Fla
Celebrate Pride with out of the ordinary sounds. By Margaret Coble
Elizabeth
Willis(Little
BlackbirdRecords):
It's
Willis'entrancing
violinand
pianoaccompaniment
that
standoutin herself-titled
debutalbum.A prodigywho
beganstudyingclassicalmusicat age4, her
melodicinventions
bring
depthto hersmokyvocals,
whicharereminiscent
of Nina
SimoneandTracyChapman.
Independently
produced,
the
albumpromises
greatthings
fromthis multi-dimensional
artist.(www.elizabethwillis.com)
[KelsyChauvin]
Over the top and at the
same time musically
impeccable, Mistress
Stephanie & Her Melodic
Cat deliver surprisingly
infectious musical
theater with a darkly
humorous edge.
What better way to celebrate Pride than with these
beyond,queer sounds by eccentric singer,songwriter
Larkin Grimm, theatrical dance,punk duo Mistress
Stephanie & Her Melodic Cat and the simply uncat,
egorizable Antony and the Johnsons.
Parplar,
LarkinGrimm(Young
God):This latest 15,song
disc has been referred to as Grimm's most conven,
tional; all I can say is, it's pretty much what you might
expect from someone who was raised by hippie par,
ents in a religious cult in Memphis, Tenn., spent the
remainder of her childhood in the Appalachians of
Georgia, being "raised by the family dog," and then
studied art off and on at Yale for many years before
learning healing massage in Thailand and befriending
a Cherokee shaman in Alaska. A free spirit who has
identified as both transgender and genderless, Grimm
has an eccentric freak,folk sound that has more in
common with Coco Rosie than with Bjork, despite
comparisons made to both. Alternately moaning,
64
I curve
wailing, cooing and whispering, Grimm's vocal range
is surpassed only by her instrumental range, which
includes acoustic guitar, banjo, Casio keyboard,
Chinese harp, violin and mountain dulcimer. Cuts
like the gentle string ballad "They Were Wrong," the
galloping dark rocker "Ride That Cyclone" and the
bluegrass crooner"Fall on My Knees" are fairly acces,
sible, while the shrill chant "Mina Minou Final" and
~
the blippy, warbling title track go a much more experi, ~
a:
mental route. You're either going to love it or hate it; I ~
love it. (www.younggodrecords.com)
~
~
Take That!, MistressStephanie& Her MelodicCat
(Pressing):Making what has been called "sado,
vaudevillian punk;' this genderfucking performance,
art duo from Austin, Texas, perhaps watched Cabaret
a few times too many while listening to a mash,
up of Marlene Deitrich, Kraftwerk and polka
music. Over the top and at the same time musically
impeccable, Stephanie Stephens and Adam Sultan-
~
f:3
..J
~
g
~
j
iii
~
~
z
~
mistress and kitty, respectively-deliver
surprisingly infectious musical theater with
a darkly humorous edge. The instrumental
"Weimar" sets the scene, with its military
drum cadence, dramatic pianos and spaghetti
Western guitar twangs, launching directly
into "Get Off My Chest;' the opening vocal number that introduces their characters.
"Shake Your Dance Stick" is a tongue-incheek Euro-trash synthfest that could easily
have been featured on Saturday Night Live's
"Sprockets" spoof from the late 1980s, and "I
Hate Cabaret" is a hilarious self-parody. It's
an entertaining romp from beginning to end.
(www.mistressandkitty.com)
Capades
ObiBest
(SocialScience)
Sangria
MariahParker
(AncientFuture)
Ledby Birdandthe
Instrumental
albums
Beebackupsinger
rarelycatchmyear,
AlexLilly'scrystalline butthisworldfusion
vocals,thisduooffers setbytheacclaimed
anexquisitely
produced California
jazzpianist
debutCDfilledwith
is a hypnotic
tourof
catchymelodies,
clever globalgrooves,
melding
lyricsandairyelecIndianandMiddle
tronic-enhanced
pop. Eastern
instrumentaThebouncyrhythmon tionwithLatinrhythms.
"NothingCanCome
Indianandflamenco
Between
Us"will stick musiccollideviacello
in yourheadfor days. andtablain thetitle
Thelayeredblipsof
track,whileHindustani
"SwedishBoy"make vocalscattingspicesup
mesmile.(www.socia/-"TenthJourney."(www.
sciencerecs.com)
ancient-future.
com)
The CryingLight,Antonyand the Johnsons
(SecretlyCanadian}:
I mentioned their fivesong EP Another World a few months ago,
but now that the full album is out, it's worth
some more ink. Merging an
indie pop aesthetic with
classical
instrumentation
and dramatic theatricality, openly
transgender
Antony Hegarty disarms
with his otherworldly voice
and
heart-piercing
lyrics, which, on this set, are
themed around "landscapes
and the future:' The album
and tide track are dedicated
to Japanese butoh dancer Kazuo Ohno,
whom Hegarty refers to as his "art parent:'
The first single, "Epilepsy Is Dancing;' is a
gorgeous dreamscape brought to life in an
equally stunning video by the Wachowski
Brothers depicting a mystic vision during
an epileptic seizure. ''.Another World;' from
the previously mentioned EP, deals with
climate change and saying goodbye to the
world we've known. It's not party music, but
it will definitely reach into your heart and
soul. (www.secretlycanadian.com)
■
PickingOutBoxes
LindsayKatt
(self-released)
DanceMother
Telepathe
(IAMSOUND)
Here'sa freshsound,
fromthequeer,
NYC-based
singersongwriter
whose
debutdiscis a melodic
popmasterpiece,
particularlythesoaring
pianopop-rockanthem
"Out& About"andthe
perkycello-centric
"My
Happy."ToriAmos,eat
yourheartout.(www.
lindsaykatt.com)
If hard-driving,
dark
electro-pop
is more
yourspeed,then
thisdebutfrom
queerBrooklyn
duo
MelissaLivaudais
and
BusyGangnes
(who
pronounce
theband's
name"telepathy")
is
a must-have.
Edgier
thanUhHuhHer,with
an '80sBerlin-meetsBauhaus
vibe.(www.
iamsoundrecords.
com)
Q+A
Cortney Tidwell
Cortney Tidwell's 2006 debut
album Don't Let the Stars Keep
Us TangledUp seemed to come
out of nowhere. Its ravishing guitar pyrotechnics, brittle electronic excursions and intimate torch
songs ensured critical adoration
and it has become something
of a word-of-mouth phenomenon. But with its follow-up,
Boys,which will be released this
month and was two years in the making,
the woman described as "Nashville's own
Little Sparrow" -an undisguised reference to Edith Piaf-eclipses that opening
set with nonchalant bravado.
Yourspentyourchildhood
yearswithheadphones
clamped
toyourears.Whatwere
youlistening
to?
Van Halen, Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper,
Johnny Cash, Depeche Mode, the Cure
and a lot of radio. Those were the days
when radio was actually good.
Describe
yoursongwriting
process.
Well, I just have a drink and sit down and
play. Ifl'm lucky, I have a recorder going,
but most of the time I don't because I
can't be bothered with all the technicalities that go along with making music. I'll
record a song with just music and I'll sing
syllables. Some sound like actual words. I
then go back and listen to what I've done
and try to make out the words, which, in
the end, make some sort of sense. It's all
stream of consciousness with music.
Whatis themostimportant
partin a song?
The melody is the basis for everything
I do.
Whatisyourfavoritepartof performing?
Getting lost. I love to get lost in it, I'm in
my own world.
Doyoupreferthestudioorthestage?
I prefer my basement, with loads
of booze.
Howhasbeinga motherchanged
you?
Giving birth is the greatest moment of a
woman's life, if she chooses that journey.
It's magical. Molding a mind is scary, but
it is, by far, my greatest accomplishment.
(wwwfeverqueen.com)[DahliaSchweitzer]
June 2009
I65
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Takin a Look Inside
Tap into a different kind of energy this month. By Rachel Pepper
Del LaGrace Volcano's photos capture the energy
and power of femme dykes, while lesbian writer
Achy Obejas paints a portrait of Cuba in the summer of 1994.
Femmesof Power:Exploding
QueerFemininities,
Del
LaGrace
VolcanoandUlrikeDahl(Serpent's
Tail):Few
queer photographers have both the observatory
Therecentreleases
from
and the visionary power of Del LaGrace Volcano.
mastersof the quillNikki
Giovanni
andMichelle Capturing the late 1980s dyke scene in his seminal
1991 collection Love Bites,Volcano immortalized the
Cliffarea balmfor that
one
moment when urban dykes were rowdy, tattoos
ill-at-easefeelingbrought
were
for outlaws, gay marriage was laughable and dyke
onbywatchingthe news.In
Cliff'sshortstorycollection bars teemed with girls who didn't resemble the cast
Everything
Is Now,moments of The L Word. Volcano went on to publish a book
aredisplayed
in meticulous (with Judith "Jack" Halberstam) about drag kings in
cross-section
to revealthe
the late '90s, as well as some European monographs,
depthof meaningin human
interaction.
Herfirst collection including the collection Sex Works 1978-2005. In
of nonfiction,
If I CouldWrite all of them, Volcano (previously known as Della
Grace) has both captured queer counterculture and
Thisin Fire(published
last
year),is a memoirfollow- helped to create it. In Femmes of Power, a collaboraingCliff'strajectoryfroman
tion between the Swedish theorist Ulrika Dahl and
Americanized
childobserv- Volcano, the lens is turned on dyke femmes through
ingcolorlinesin colonial photos, personal essays, interviews and letters. As
Jamaica,
to hereducation
diverse an assemblage of femme women as you could
in London,
to herreluctant
embrace
of life in theStates. imagine, the book includes bearded femme women,
multi-tattooed women, fat women and a mix of eth(Bothbooksareavailable
from
the University
of Minnesota nicities, nationalities and racial and gender identities.
Press.)In Bicycles:
Love While the book never coasts on queer celebrity, its
Poems(WilliamMorrow), subjects do include several well-known femmes,
Giovanni
opensandcloses including the filmmaker Pratibha Parmar, writers
withpoemsabouttragic
Valerie Mason-John and Michelle Tea, the musieventsin hercommunity:
the
violentmurdersin Blacksburg cian Bitch, members of Atlanta's Femme Mafia and
the Swedish Parliamentary member Josefin Brink.
byanescaped
inmatein
2006,andthe2007Virginia As befits Volcano's international queer citizenry,
Techshooting.
Theremain- the book includes, but never overplays, American
ingpoemsarea callto count femmes, giving ample nods to French, Swedish,
one'sblessings,
celebrating German and English femmes along with their North
loveinall its minorandmajor American sisters. Although most of the text is writkeys.(www.upress.umn.edu,
ten by Dahl, femme pioneer Amber Hollibaugh
www.harpercollins.com)
[Andrea
Millar] concludes by surmising succinctly that "Femmes of
Power is a book of survivors' tales. It gives us a place
to behold femme images, take risks and contemplate
setting off on dangerous journeys ... femmes matter ...
here:' (www.serpentstail.com)
authors, indy presses like Akashic Books have taken
up the slack. Building on a solid backlist of LGBT
authors, Akashic has just released Achy Obejas' newest novel, Ruins. Set in Cuba in the summer of 1994,
it tells the story of Usnavy, a man named with pride
by a mother hopeful about the American presence on
the island. Still optimistic about the promises of the
Cuban revolution, Usnavy gradually becomes more
aware of reality through the hardships he faces. The
novel tells of a society in rubble where there is no
reliable public transportation and no gas for cars,
tenements teem with new arrivals and a bright sun
shines down on a people hungry for food and for
change. As Usnavy watches his friends flee on homemade rafts, flocking to escape to the United States,
he begins to come to terms with the conflicts of his
family and his country. At the same time, he seeks
deliverance and gains understanding for the book's
main LGBT character, Raina, the transgender child
of a friend. Obejas, a native Cuban, has written exten__sivelyabout her homeland and is the author of many
novels and short story collections, including the
more LGBT themed collection We Came All the Way
from Cuba So You CouldDressLike This. In Ruins, she
successfully creates an empathetic portrait of both a
Ruins,
AchyObejas
(Akashic
Books):
As feminist presses country in crisis and a male character that women
close down and mainstream publishers drop queer readers will relate to well. (www.akashicbooks.com)
■
66
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Q+A
Andi Zeisler
Bleeding
Hearts
LindyCameron
(BywaterBooks)
FromBananas
to
Buttocks
MyraMendible
(University
of
TexasPress)
WhenanAustralian
TV
presenter
getsa death
threat,there'sonlyone Intheseessays,
smart-talking,
redhead- Mendibleprojectsthe
popularized
image
loving,bumbagof the Latinabody
wieldingdetective
for
thejob:KitO'Malley.
As throughthe lensof
critique.
Kitjuggleslife,loveand postmodern
a murderinvestigation, Readaboutthe rise
of theclassicfilm star
thesnappydialogue
LupeVelez,thecultural
keepsthesuspense
impactJ. La'sposterior
freshfromstartto
or theveryimportant
dramaticfinish.Fair
dinkum.(www.bywa- jobthat is beingSalma
terbooks.com/xcart) Hayek.(www.utexas.
edulutpress)
[AM]
[Andrea
Millar]
Periphery
Ed.LynneJamneck
(LethePress)
Thiscollection
of
lesbianstorieswends
its waythroughsci-ti
territorybothnewand
familiar:spaceships
andpolitics,interrogationroomsandfertility
rituals,dystopias
and
verdantterraforms.
In
fact,thedelectability
of
theseunearthly
scenes
cc
w
oftenovershadows
[ij
!::!. the steamy
action,but
that'snota badthingif
~ youlikeyourpornwith
~
w
a plot.(www.lethepLL
LL
ressbooks.com)
[AM]
~
_J
Cf)
Cf)
_J
_J
SantaOlivia
Jacqueline
Carey
(GrandCentral
Publishing)
It's a dusty,hopeless
existence
in Santa
OliviauntilLoup
Garron,
a fearless,
immeasurably
strong
girlwith hybrid-wolf
DNA,threatens
to upset
the military-imposed
order.Ca!ey'ssignature
eroticismandaction
drivethisfuturistic
werewolffableand
keepthepagesturning.
(www.hachettebookgroup.com)
[Rachel
Beebe]
For nearly 15 years, Andi Zeisler and Lisa
Jervis's unruly brainchild, the quarterly
Bitch:FeministResponseto Pop Culture,has
delighted and provoked anyone interested
in how pop culture hurts or helps women.
Seal Press recently released Zeisler's book
Feminism and Pop Cultureas part of its
Seal Studies series, complete with readers'
guides and extensive bibliographies to
accompany Zeisler's incisive, impeccably
researched essays on the relationship
between the women's movement and mass
culture from the 1940s to the present.
Zeisler deconstructs major pop-culture
phenomena and provides a comprehensive
introduction to key concepts that might
even release your inner bitch.
Howdoyoumanage
tospendsomuchtime
criticizing
popculturewhenit'sobvious
that
youalsokindof loveit?
I think I'm able to like the actual products
themselves a lot more now than I did 13
years ago when we started Bitch.I'm much
more likely to see the positive aspects of
what I'm consuming-which doesn't mean
that I don't see the negative ones, just that
I'm choosing to focus on what's interesting
to me. Seeing another in a series of 3 zillion
commercials where a housewife is enthusing about a cleaning product is vaguely
annoying, but I'd rather concentrate on how
much I like the female lead character on the
new HBO drama, or whatever.
Somepeoplearguethatcertainrepresentationsofwomen-especially
queerwomen,
womenofcolorandothermarginalized
groups-maynotbepositive
now,butare
"a goodstart."Whatdoyouthinktheright
response
tothatis?
I think any time there's a representative
of a marginalized or minority population
in a breakout show or band or whatever,
there are going to be people who don't feel
truly represented and are resentful that
they' re expected to feel satisfied with one
or two people or fictional characters who
are maybe sort of like them. I would never
tell anyone that they should be happy,
say, that there's a transgender character
on The L Word, or that they should now
expect to feel understood and validated
in the larger world. It's not helpful if the
representations don't do anything to
combat stereotypes: I would imagine, for
instance, that people who were longing for
more representation of bisexual folks in
pop culture weren't necessarily hoping for
Tila Tequila.
Youendyourbookwitha callto makepop
culturebetter.Howcanwe dothat?
If yc0ucruise around YouTube, there are
people constantly responding to, reworking
and spoofing TV shows and advertisements. And there's great industry criticism,
like Entertainment Weekly, and sites like
Television Without Pity constantly
nudging the bigwigs behind the studios
and the publishing houses, reminding
them that without fans there is no pop
culture. It's easy to assume that consumers
are less discerning because there's so much
more crap out there to consume, but you
could also make the opposite argument:
Pop culture is getting better because there
is so much to choose from and because,
increasingly, there's the option to not
simply consume, but to create.
What'sa totallycurrentpopculturephenom
you'reobsessed
withcritiquing
rightnow?
I don't know if I'm obsessed with
critiquing Facebook or just obsessed
with it, period. I guess both ... there are
so many people from my past who have
added me as friends but not sent a message of any kind. If I ran into someone
from elementary school on the street and
all they did was nod and keep walking, I
would think that was bizarre-but
that's
more or less what happens to me on
Facebook several times a week. It's virtual
nodding. [JuliaBloch]
June 2009
I67
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Livin in a Dream
Who says you can't have the life you want? By Candace Moore
My Home-YourWar
(Women
MakeMovies):
Australian
filmmakerKylie
GreyturnsherlensonLayla
Hassan,
anIraqicivilianwho
wantstheWestto hearher
story-and thetruestory
of hernation.Toldoverthe
courseof threeyears,beginningjustbeforetheU.S.-led
coalitionattackin March2003,
thisremarkable
documentary
reveals
therealityofthewar
in Iraqasseenthroughthe
eyesof anordinarycitizen
wholivedit.Thefilmtellsof
a dailyexistence
livedin fear
andfrustration,
survivalin the
harshest
conditions
andthe
tenacityof a womandeterminedto showtheworldwhat
warhasdoneto hercountry.
(www.wmm.com)
[Rachel
Beebe]
68
Icurve
Whether jamming in a Manhattan loft or frolicing in
the French countryside, this month women refuse to
take what life gives them. Born in '68 and The Guitar
open up a space for idealism and desire.
Bornin 168 (StrandReleasing):
This countercultural
epic begins dt:1ringFrance's May 1968 uprisings and
follows one matriarch's many lovers, friends and family members from those radical, revolutionary days
to more quiet ones in the Internet age. Refusing
notions of marriage, property and taboos around sex,
Catherine (Laetitia Casta) and her compatriots create
a leftist commune in the French countryside. It begins
as a nai"veproject-no one knows how to properly
repair the roo£ and food (besides produce from the
cannabis-overrun vegetable patch) is often sparse.
However, the young adults pool their resources and
frolic naked in the wilderness, weaving, collecting
flowers and making love as a collective. By the end
of the '70s, the more casual believers have abandoned
the dream, but Catherine remains, raising her two
children outside consumer society. Her daughter
Ludmilla (Sabrina Seyvecou) rebels from Mom's
hippie ways, while Boris (Theo Frilet) matures into a
gay activist who participates in ACT UP protests in
Paris throughout the AIDS epidemic. Powerful act-
ing, encouraging politics and historical accuracy over
a 40-year period grace this accomplished film about
living up to one's ideals. (strandreleasing.com)
TheGuitar(Lightning
Media):In the same day, Melody
(Saffron Burrows) gets dumped, loses her job and
learns she has an inoperable form of larynx cancer
that will kill her within a few months. About to
slit her wrists, she glances at a picture of a spacious
Manhattan loft for rent on a temporary basis. She
moves into the cavernous space, throws her clothes
out the window and lives like a monk, waiting to die.
Then she changes gears, pulls out a wallet full of credit
cards and begins to decorate her dream pad with the
most extravagant items, explaining that these things
speak to her in the "language of objects:' She orders
whatever's on special at all of local delivery joints
and fulfills her every whim, never leaving the loft.
Thus, the people who come to her door-the pizza
delivery girl, Cookie, and the guy who delivers the
furniture, Roscoe-become her lovers. She buys the
red Fender Stratocaster she always wanted, learns
to play it and is soon rocking out from mammoth
amps, alone in her home. This vibrant indie flick
is a reminder to live the life you've always dreamed
of-now. (www.media.lightningent.com)■
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~
5
f2.
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~
Q
Q
Q+A
Planning
Parenthood
Melanie Salazar Case
Queer up,and,comer Melanie Salazar
Case's credits are nothing to sniff at. She's
a member of the popular San Francisco,
based improv group Killing My Lobster,
and she wrote, directed and starred in the
LGBT,themed short OrificeVisit,about one
woman's hilariously nightmarish experience
with a (male) gynecologist. Case is currently
starring alongside Margaret Cho in the
SXSW dark,c~medy hit The Snake.
Didyougetto doanyimprovin TheSnake?
There's a couple of scenes where it's just me
and Adam (Goldstein] driving around ...
trying to get the right backgrounds. We
didn't have enough scripted material. .. so we
were just kind of improvising.
Tome,thehardest
partof improvwouldbe
gettingovertheself-consciousness,
butyou
reallygoforit andbesilly-how doyoudoit?
I've tended to be a pretty uninhibited person
my whole life. When I was doing comedy
in junior high
and high school,
people would give me positive validation for
making [them] laugh. And a lot of times the
more extreme it was, the funnier it became.
WheredidyougettheideaforOrifice
Visif/
I had been given, by this kind of hippy
dippy friend of mine ... this natural guide to
taking care of your fertility, and there were
these disgusting pictures of cervices with
cervical fluid literally oozing out. And I was
like, "OK, I don't know what I'm going to do
with this, but I've got to do something:'
Whydidyougivetheendinga queertwist?
When I made (it] I wasn't necessarily set,
ting out to make an LGBT film, but it just
so happens that the character's arc, I felt,
would be best suited if she ended up being
a lesbian. It's a little bit self referential, too,
because I'm queer ... so it's kind of like a
coming out film in some ways.
[Rachel
Shatto]
If
I!;
}1
'
in Fertili!JAssistance,
Adoption,and Surrogary
Rebecca A. Clark,M.D., Ph.D.,
Gloria Richard-Davis,M.D., FACOG,
Jill Hayes, Ph.D., Michelle Murphy,J.D.,
and Katherine Pucheu Theall, Ph.D.
Armed with professional knowledge and
inspired by the experiences of others who have
gone before them, prospective parents will be
informed and reassured by this unique resource.
THE
... -
JOHNS
HOPKINS
UNIVERSITY
PRESS
1-800-537-5487 • www.press.jhu.edu
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Season
II Another
Carmen
andGeoffrey Alicein Wondertown Rick& Steve,
Man'sGarden
(FirstRunFeatures) (FirstRunFeatures) (Logo)
(FirstRunFeatures)
Rick
&
Steve,
the
A movement-filled
Justouton DVD,this
"Whydoyoulet her
sexiest,smartest
toy
documentary
aboutthe surrealCubanfilm
goto school?"Sofia's
dancingduoCarmen causeduproarin Cuba figuresonTV,are
sisteraskshermother.
deLavallade
and
whenit wasreleased backwitha second
"Youknowtheysay
season.
From
lesbian
Geoffrey
Holder.
When in 1991andit was
sendinga girlto
musical
numbers
about
thecouplemetin the
yankedfromtheaters
artificialinsemination
to schoolis likewatering
'50s,deLavallade
was withinfourdays.The
anotherman'sgarden."
snarky
commentary
on
alreadyanestablished femalehero,Alicia,
pseudo-celebrities,
this Sofia,a younggirl
dancer,
andHolderhad is at thecenterof a
in Mozambique
who
seasoncomments
on
justarrivedin NewYork satireaboutCuban
dreamsof becoming
the
queer
community's
Cityfromhisnative
propaganda,
withthe
Trinidad.
Shetookhim mythicalWondertown mostpertinentissues a doctor,mustchoose
between
sleeping
with
underherwingand
representing
theworst withstyleandhumor.
herbiologyteacher
thetwoproceeded
to
Lesbians
being
forced
of civiloppression
dominate
theform.
to nametheirkid Dick or losingherchance
andcomplacency.
A
at admission
to the
to keepupthefamily
A celebration
of one
feministclassicnot
university.
remarkable
womanand to bemissed.(www.
tradition?Nowthat's
(www.firstruntwocreativeforces.
firstrunfeatures.com) inspiredcomedy.
[NL]
(www.firstrunfeatures.[AM]
(www.logoonline.com)features.com)
[NinaLary]
com)[AndreaMillar]
TRY FOR FREE!
1.800.616.6113
CODE 1508
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lavenderline.net
REVIEWSTech Girl
Pushin the Ri ht Buttons
A place to call home for lesbian gamers. By DanieUe Riendeau
Mirror'sEdge(Electronic
Arts):Thisvibrantlycolorful
videogamewithgleaming
whitebuildingsandbright
redpipes,doorsandrampsis
fast-paced
andat timesdifficult.Theplotis easyenough
to follow:Undertheoppressionof anoverbearing
regime,
you,Faith,runmessages
for therebelsdemanding
freedom.Butthestorytakes
a turnwhenFaith'ssisteris
framedfor murderandit's
upto youto saveher.Giving
a nodto parkour,
thesport
of extremewalking(toput
it mildly),Faithruns,jumps
andswingsthroughthe
landscape.
Thedownside
to
thisgameis that it hasa firstpersonperspective,
soyou
neveractuallyseeFaithslide
underpipes,leapfromrooftop
to rooftopor shimmyupwalls,
andthe cameraanglescanbe
a bit dizzying.
Overall,
it's still
a fungameif youhavethe
patience.
Outfor PS3,
Xbox360andPC.
($40,www.ea.com)
[KatiePeoples]
70
Icurve
Until very recently, lesbians who called themselves video game fans had no place to call home.
That is, until founders Angela Simpson and Tracy
Whitelaw became fed up with the boy-centric
world of the gaming "blogosphere" and built their
own site, www.lesbiangamers.com, to accommodate
women of every description-especially, as the name
implies-lesbians.
"Lesbiangamers started because we realized there
were no dedicated lesbian gaming websites and we
felt like we wanted to give an alternative look at gaming to our community;' says
Whitelaw of their inspiration.
The site offers everything from
serious analysis of queer representation in the industry to
hilarious fantasy features on
'closeted" lesbian game characters. The Lesbiangamers.com
ladies call it 'gaming news with
a lesbian slant, articles and
game reviews with a little dash
of dyke:'
Readers know exactly what
they're getting into when they
spy the "because sometimes we
use our hands for other things"
banner winking at them from
just below the.site's logo.
'J\ngela asked me for a catchphrase for the site;' explains
Whitelaw, laughing. "I was in a bit of a playful mood,
as I tend to be. It was tongue-in-cheek. I mean, gamers, hands, lesbians-it's all interconnected rightt
Being extremely out-and playful about it-has
been a part of Simpson and Whitelaw's mission from
day one. "We have had people say,'Why do you need
to state that you're lesbian? Isn't just being a gamer
enough?"' says Whitelaw. "We get that, we understand it ... but, you know, there are gay gaming sites
out there, too. We're not lesbian gamers to be exclusive, we're lesbian gamers to show we exist:'
Simpson handles the day-to-day writing and
design for the site, while Whitelaw acts as the PR
representative and co-hosts their Gay Girls Who
Game vlog. The couple runs the site (along with
www.lesbiangeek.com) as a labor of love, without
much advertising support.
"We believe in it;' says Whitelaw. ''The support we get
from gamers who are lesbian and love the site is great:'
Both women are proud of the thriving community
that's grown up around Lesbiangamers.com, a fact
they chalk up to the site's "safe haven" approach.
"We are so lucky that the forum pretty much
runs itself. We have some great members who are
extremely active and very protective of the kind of
content that is on there;' says Whitelaw. "It is so nice
to feel safe and free in any kind of online community,
and we're so proud of that and want to maintain it:'
It's true that gaming is one of the few entertainment forms in which there's very little diversity, a fact
that Whitelaw attributes to the perception that "only
geeky boys" play games. But that certainly won't stop
these two from fighting the good fight, and cooking
up a few game ideas of their own in the meantime.
"If I were the one creating a lesbian-themed video
game-God help us all;' says Whitelaw, laughing. "I
personally would love to see a lesbian James Bondstyle game. You know, a very strong, female character,
baby butch looks, absolutely identifiable as a lesbian,
a female love interest, but of course gets plenty of
other interest throughout. (She'll have] lots of flirty
Bond-like lines and lots of action mixed with detectivestyle stuff to show off her brains:' She pauses, taking
stock of her proposal. 'Tm thinking I'm giving too
much away here!" ■
l
Pride of New England continued from page 58
A Tale of the Bionic Woman continued from page 41
expanded lobby, along with changing art exhibitions, make the Art House a must-see.
Spiritus Pizza is absolutely the most happening hot spot every night after the bars close,
as everyone gathers inside and out to devour
gourmet Greek pizza-and ice cream, too.
We rented bikes one day and rode out to
see the beauty of the cape. Enjoy picture-perfect views of the dunes at dusk and the sight
of the Atlantic Ocean. When you're ready
for some nightlife, you will be overwhelmed
with options during both Women's Week and
Memorial Day Weekend. The hottest lesbian
comics are always there. Last year's lineup included Suzanne Westenhoefer, Vickie Shaw,
Jennie McNulty, Mimi Gonzalez, Poppy
Champlin, Michele Balan, Kate Clinton and
many more fantastic up-and-coming comics.
The shows are intimate and fun, and you can
sometimes catch several in an evening.
When you are ready to go clubbing, head
for the PiedBar on Commercial Street and
work your way down. The Pied has a big
patio overlooking the water and spins great
dance music all night long. I also partied at the
Crown & Anchor-and even entered a wet
T-shirt contest. I was initially there to judge,
but ended up participating after Vickie Shaw
twisted my arm.
Vixen has a newly renovated state-of-theart dance club and a rockin' stage at floor level.
There are pool tables and a bar, if you want to
mix and mingle, or if you're looking for some
lipstick action, head upstairs to the wine bar.
Women's Week features singer-songwriter
folk-acoustic artists performing intimate
shows at a variety of venues. You might catch
lesbian icons like Cris Williamson and Holly
Near, or see the fabulous Catie Curtis or
Melissa Ferrick. If you have a chance to catch
P-town local Zoe Lewis performing live,
you must. Her show is the most refreshing,
quirkiest and most adorable thing I've seen
in years-she had me completely entranced.
Women's Week is a calmer, cooler folk scene,
as opposed to Memorial Day Weekend, which
is much more rock 'n' roll. Pick the right time
of year to attend, knowing that the crowd during Memorial Day Weekend is much younger
and very mixed.
Regardless of when you go, be assured
that your visit to Provincetown will leave you
feeling refreshed and alive. The classic New
England beach scenery combined with the
super-gay-friendly atmosphere make it a truly
one-of-a-kind lesbian experience. ■
Wagner still feels a deep appreciation for
her bionic experience. 'J\.ll these years later,
it still sends this wave of gratitude through
me that I was a part of that ...
because I know it's not just
me. I feel like it's the universe
and it's divine, because l want
to live my life in service:'
I can't imagine my life as
a child in the '70s without
the presence of the Bionic
Woman. The character still
represents a rare combination
of strength, independence,
intelligence and courage-
not to mention a knack for fashion and
accessories. Before there was Sarah Connor,
G.I. Jane, Trinity, Buffy, Xena, La Femme
Nikita, Seven of Nine, Lara
Croft, Tank Girl, Dana
Scully or Sydney Bristow,
there was a woman out
there paving the way and
melting hearts. In the place
where television nostalgia
meets timeless beauty and
power you'll find yours
truly flopped, on a beanbag,
watching old episodes of The
Bionic Woman. ■
Fertility and life is the rose. the sublime blossom.
the womb from which all enter the world.
Embrace your magnificent feminine self.
··'-:~. Pul»h~.
,
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Lac.
.• www ... o .. u ■ Ll ■ HtND.DDM
EnJOYfamily.
Ertjoy life.
June 2009
I71
TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
ALASKAGLACIERS
& BAYSCRUISE
September 20-27, 2009
Sarah Katherine Lewis
HALLOWEEN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
The author of Sex and Bacon has us drooling. By Catherine Plato
October 25-November 1, 2009
It's easy to fall for the charms of this queer
author, online advice columnist and 10-year
sex work veteran. Her 2006 sex work memoir, Indecent: How I Make It and Fake It as a
Girl for Hire, and her 2008 essay-and-recipe
collection, Sex and Bacon: Why I Love Things
That Are Very, Very Bad for Me, reveal Lewis
to be funny, fearless and iiber-intelligentbut with a rare sincerity and vulnerability
that make her all the more appealing. Here's
what we love most about her:
1. Her rockerchick style. With hot, girly
curves, arms adorned in ink and hair that
occasionally changes color, Lewis is a selfdescribed 'chubby tattooed metalhead".
When choosing a "sexy"costume for an office
holiday party, Lewis rejected the traditional
and opted to go as Axl Rose. She wanted to
get in touch with "the kind of sexy that lives
in my pussy and lower gut;' she explained. "[It
was] more about the hot thrum I felt inside
than the way I looked on the outside:' Hot.
2. In a worldthatpraisesasceticwomen,she's
anunashamed
hedonist.
Lewis loves the things
society tells women they shouldn't. "I tend to
want what I want, and I tend to actively strive
and achieve what I want;' she says.
3. Shehasa rare,unparalleled
gift for writing
aboutmeat.I knew Lewis was special when I,
a lifelong veggie, found myself salivating over
her meat descriptions throughout Sex and
Bacon. Whale meat, she says, "was like eating every swimming, crawling creature in the
ocean, inhaling krill through gritted teeth. It
was like eating the ocean itself' The book's
smattering of recipes morph into wildly sensual, visceral and erotic experiences. And she
has this to say about bacon: "Each strip's fatty
section swelled and curled coyly in the pan,
making seductive popping noises. Shhhhhhh,
the bacon whispered, promising discretion:'
comes off as pretentious, punctuating her sassy
smarts with swear words-kind of like a badass brainiac older sister who used to cut class all
the time and still got straight /\s.
VALLARTAPALACE
RESORT
November 14-21, 2009
7. As a shameless,
nonironic,
hardcore
Britney
Spears
fan,shecallsoutthemisogynistic
mainstreammedia. Lewis makes a compelling
argument for the Mouseketeer turned tabloid
disaster as a feminist icon. "Britney is female
appetite. Britney wants. She wants food and
sex and love and trashy, sexy no-account boys:•
Lewis says the essay, which discusses body
image, desire and prescribed roles for women,
often brings her audiences to tears.
CLUBOLIVIAIXTAPA,
MEXICORESORT
January 23-30, 2010
AMAZON
RIVERBOATCRUISE
February 20-28, 2010
8. She'sreadyto age gracefully.As Lewis
approaches 40, she says you couldn't pay
her to live through her 20s again. "Women in
their 40s and above are incredibly attractive
to me;' she admits. "They're interesting and
4. She'steaching20,000peoplehow to have smart and not overly concerned with what
hottersex. Lewis writes the popular Ask people think about them. They have a wealth
Sarah advice column on www. of life experience. If you go out to dinner and
XToysUSA.com. "People send
talk, you know they'll be interesting:•
in their sex questions and I get
to write a sassy column;' she 9. She'sreal, relatableand sensitive.Lewis
says.Besides offering intelligent, admits that the work of a memoirist can
open-minded advice to people
sometimes get scary. "You open yourself up
of every orientation, Ask Sarah
to judgment, and I wish I could sit here and
is often hysterically funny and
be totally cool about it and be like, 'I don't
even a little flirtatious-watch
care what people think about me ...if they
out, Dan Savage.
don't like me, they can fuck offL.But that
is not me;' she says. "When people are mean
5. She'salso teachingwomen about stuff that I've admitted, it hurts my
aroundthe countryhowto love feelings:'
the waytheylook.A year after
its publication, Lewis is still 10. She'son her way to makinga film about
touring for Sex and Bacon, but
the sex industry-onethat's actuallyrealisrather than a straight-up protic and relevant.Lewis is in the process of
motional tour, it's evolved into
turning Indecent into a screenplay, hoping
to cast "some unknown, surly chubby girl" in
workshops at colleg~s on body
image, feminism and desire. the lead role. "For the screenplay, I'm really
(www.sexandbacon.com)
resisting the idea of showing the actress
nude or being sexual, because that's really a:
6. She has a killervocabulary, exploitative. I want to turn the gaze back on ~
~
which is super-sexy.
Lewis is the clients, which has always been my experi- fr
unmistakably clever but never ence;' she explains. ■
~
I
*
72
I curve
WESTERN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
February 28-March 7, 2010
CLUBOLIVIA
CANCUNRESORT
May 15-22, 2010
AFRICANSAFARI
ADVENTURE
October 15-22, 2010
olivia
Reserve your lesbian
dream vacation.
www.olivia. com/curve
or call 1.800.631.6277
,...S:rio
>81
V
ALASKAGLACIERS
& BAYSCRUISE
September 20-27, 2009
HALLOWEEN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
October 25-November 1, 2009
VALLARTAPALACE
RESORT
November 14-21, 2009
CLUBOLIVIAIXTAPA,
MEXICORESORT
January 23-30, 2010
AMAZON
RIVERBOATCRUISE
February 20-28, 2010
WESTERN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
February 28-March 7, 2010
CLUBOLIVIA
CANCUNRESORT
May 15-22, 2010
AFRICANSAFARI
ADVENTURE
October 15-22, 2010
olivia
Reserve your lesbian
dream vacation.
www. oLivia.comlcurve
or call 1.800.631.6277
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curve
THE BEST-SELLING
JUNE 2009
I
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME 19 NUMBER 5
Publisher and Founder Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Diane Anderson-Minshall
Managing Editor Katie Peoples
Assistant Editor Rachel Beebe
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Music Review Editor Margaret Coble
Web Editor Rachel Shatto
Contributing Editors Julia Bloch, Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Gretchen Lee, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
Editorial Assistants Kim Bale, Andrea Millar, Nina Lary, Heather
Robinson, Yana Tallon-Hicks
PUBLISHING
Advertising Sales Diana L Berry,Rivendell Media
Advertising Assistants Hannah Bolton, LaKeisha Hughes
Social Networking Lindy Shelton
Riding the Wave
Anyone who has read curve for a while knows I'm a sports nut. A former
boxer, I get a thrill whenever I watch women athletes triumph. So I was
thrilled when a bevy of women came forward recently to let us know Amee
Donohoe was ready to go on record and come out publicly in curve. Don't
get me wrong-Donohoe,
one of the top-ranked surfers in the world, has
never been closeted, a fact that has kept her from getting-or rather, keeping-a major sponsor. As she says, 'Tm not going to surf in a bikini because
tits and ass are going to sell:' That's the same pressure women athletes face in
a lot of fields: coaches who don't want their girlfriends to sit courtside, managers who want them to femme it up, sponsors who wouldn't risk their tween
girl market by signing a tattooed, short-haired dyke.
Just like the great lesbian athletes who've already graced our coverMartina Navratilova, Missy Giove, Amelie Mauresmo and Sheryl Swoopes,
just to name a few-Donohoe
has had to forge her own path in a field that
can be both welcoming and hostile to queer girls. For that, and for her amazing layback snap, I salute her.
Donohoe is one of many amazing women in this issue, including Eden
Riegel ( the actor who, for years, played Pine Valley's lesbian heiress, Bianca,
on All My Children),Lindsay Wagner ( the original Bionic Woman and many
a '70s-era baby-dyke crush) and an expansive list of TV characters who we're
pretty sure were latent lesbians. Those last two stories are in our whimsical
little pop culture that made us gay section (OK, obviously nothing made us
gay-but you know what we mean).
And of course, it's Pride season, so we threw in a few different looks at
what Pride means to us, along with articles on the latest marriage wins (yay,
Iowa, D.C. and Vermont!) along with a couple of Pride destinations: Austin
(page 56) and Provincetown (page 58). Whether you're hitting a hot spot or
staying near home, here's wishing you a fun and celebratory Pride.
ART
/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Photo Editor Hayley McMillen
Production Manager Ondine Kilker
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
Web Producer Nikki Woelk
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Kathy Beige, Kelsy Chauvin, Jennifer Corday, Lyndsey
D' Arcangelo, Beren deMotier, Michele Fisher, Tania Ham midi,
Jodi Helmer, Kathi lsserman, Gillian Kendall, Kate Lacey, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Karlyn Lotney, Candace Moore, Aefa
Mulholland, Alison Peters, Catherine Plato, Aimsel L. Ponti, Laurie
K. Schenden, Kristin A. Smith, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Robin
Miner-Swartz, Kyra Thomson, Jocelyn Voo, Alison Walkley,
Melany Walters-Beck
CONTRIBUTING
IUUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Paul Michael Agular, Michelle Bart, Erica Beckman, Phil Cho,
Cheryl Craig, Tony Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Gabriela Hashun,
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Elisa Shebaro, Leslie Van Stelten, Katherine Streeter, Kina
Williams, Misty Winter
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Advertising Email advertising@curvemag.com
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Volume 19 Issue 5 Curve {ISSN 1087-867)() is published monthly (except for bimonthly
January/February and July/ August) by Outspoken Enterprises, Inc., 1550 Bryant St.,
Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103. Subscription price: $49.95/year, $62.95 Canadian
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a $25 surcharge. Periodicals postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at addttional
mailing offices {USPS 0010-355). Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any
manner, either whole or in part, without written permission from the publisher. Publication of
the name or photograph of any persons or organizations appearing, advertising or listing in
Curve may not be taken as an indication of the sexual orientation of that individual or group
unless specifically stated. Curve welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and
artwork. Include SASE for response. Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient
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Icurve
BRID6ESTORE
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Features JUNE2009
34
Top Ranked Surfer Comes Out
Amee Donohoe is a Top 10 pro surfer. So why
can't she get a sponsor? (Hint: It rhymes with
"shmezbian.") By Gillian Kendall
38
AMC's Bianca Speaks
Soap star Eden Riegel dishes on playing a
lesbian and leaving ABC's All My Children.
By Jamey Giddens
40
Bionic Woman Lindsay Wagner
The '?Os TV star gets spiritual; we get fan girl.
Plus the 51 latent TV lesbians. By Aimsel Ponti
42
Carol Brady Goes Gay
There's just something about Florence
Henderson that makes us swoon. And the
animated hookups we always wanted to see.
By Kelli Dunham
52
Can This Marriage Be Saved?
Two dykes head to Buenos Aires for some
couples therapy-tango style! By Aina Hunter
56
Destination: Pride
Provincetown, Mass., attracts the ladies every
year but Austin, Texas, just may surprise you.
60
The Other Closet
Lesbians with disabilities deal with a double
whammy of a closet. Here, they tell their tales.
44
Pride,Baby!
Get Radical
These queers reject the mainstream. Bring
on the revolution. By Stephanie Schroeder
46
Are Lesbians Obsolete?
Lisa Haas tackles the demise of lesbianism
in her new show. By Stephanie Schroeder
48
As Goes Iowa ...
Will the first Midwestern state to allow gay marriage
create a domino effect? By Heather Tirado Gilligan
49
Prop. 8: So, What's Next?
We get the word from the lawyers battling for
same-sex marriage. By JD Disalvatore
page40
page52
"There'sa big riskin being
yourself,as a professional
surfer,and comingout."
Amee Donohoe > > page 34
41
curve
Departments JUNE2009
IN EVERY ISSUE
2
10
12
14
17
20
21
22
28
29
72
1,
15
Frankly Speaking
Letters
Contributors
24
Relationships: Ten things you learn
when you come out.
26
Health: Lesbians find acceptance and
help online.
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
Scene
Open Studio
Out in Front
Lipstick & Dipstick
30
32
Curvatures
Celebrity Gossip
LiRo is dunzo. Beth Ditto hooks up with
Evans. And who's been burned this time?
Politics
Looking back on 40 years of Pride.
-.
I Tried It
Top Ten Reasons We Love...
Dyke Drama
When saying sorry ruins the relationship.
AstroGrrl
Attacks on queers spike across the country,
Marge Simpson gets some girl-on-girl
action and LAVA showcases amazing
acrobatic talent.
18
A----~--
64
66
-
.
Music: Freak-folk. Gender-bending
cabaret. Ethereal indie pop. We've got it all
in this month's picks. Plus, Cortney Tidwell
shares her songwriting secrets.
Books: The much anticipated Femmesof
Power (above) gets us excited. Bitch
co-founder Andi Zeisler talks pop culture.
68
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Film: The Guitar and Another Man's
Garden (above) get applause while
Melanie Salazar Case dishes on improv.
70
~
Tech: The women behind LesbianGamers.com tell us about their inspiration
-and their dream lesbian heroine.
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COMING
UP
From the Editor
I like to tell my
co-workers that
curve isn't a job
so much as it's a
lifestyle. At the very
least, working at
the biggest lesbian
magazine in the
country means
you're on, 24fl. Our
managing editor, Katie Peoples,
found this out recently at a friend's
birthday party. Someone let it
•
slip that Katie works at curve,
Dinah Shore has come and gone and thousands of lesbian revelers have slept off their
hangovers-but is Katy Perry (above) still giving
us a headache? Read our full April cover story
on the headliner and decide for yourself.
and she spent the next two hours
regaling everyone with tales about
c~lesbians and fielding ideas for
stories we should cover-instead
•
of eating cake and getting tipsy
I should thank Katie though,
because she, along with the rest of
the team, kept curve running while
I spent several weeks out sick this
•
Shatto even stepped in to help
Toshi Reagon Is Feeling Sexy
She's been making music for almost 20 years and she's still cranking out
sounds that are innovative, joyful and totally infectious. Find out what this
stunning creative genius has to say about beauty, the music industry and
why she feels sexy in the morning.
Katie and assistant editor Rachel
Beebe fill my (impossibly cute
Feminism and the Zeitgeist
"Is it a bad word? Of course it is," Bitch
magazine co-founder Andi Zeisler (right) wrote
in the Washington Post. That's precisely why,
she says, "no other title was even up for consideration." Zeisler's incisive
critiques have recently found another home in her new collection of essays,
Feminism and Pop Culture. She discusses both her publications on page
67, but you can find the complete interview with this unabashed, and
therefore completely compelling, thinker at curvemag.com.
with her friend.
month. Contributing editor Rachel
The Morning After
'
•
me, who mostly stayed in bed
watching reruns of Rock of Love
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Editor in Chief
s Icurve
Sapphic Salon
Award-winning authors KG MacGregor and Jlee
Meyer have long been darlings of the lesbian publishing world. Now, these two literary insiders talk books,
awards and smartass characters.
thanks to all the Curvettes, minus
and Dante's Cove. Enjoy!
w
...J
(/)
platform) shoes.
So, this issue is in your hands
~
•
The Full Pam Grier
You probably knew her as The L Word's Kit Porter,
but before that she was Jackie (right) and Foxy and
Coffy-aka the Queen of Blaxploitation. You read
about her remarkable film career, which spanned
both the civil rights and the women's movements, in
our May issue-now get the inside story from the icon
herself. And girl, does she have stories to tell.
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Love what looks ...
a little like you.
Stylish. Sassy. And the right size for every adventure. The Subaru Forester has what
you love, including curve hugging Symmetrical All-Wheel Drive and a powerful SUBARU
BOXER®engine. No wonder Forester was named Motor Trend's 2009 Sport/Utility of
the Year. It's as individual as you are. Love. It's what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.
SUBARU.
LETTERS
within the queer community and outside it_:
wherein trans people are painted as deceitful, imitative or imposters. Perpetuating
this mode of thought is hateful and
unfeminist, and it reifies the kind of logic
that seems to rationalize the disproportionate amount of violence perpetuated
against trans people (think Brandon Teena).
You should be ashamed of your~elf, for
claiming queer when it's convenient, or when
it makes you money, and for then disseminating this kind of hate into our community.
- Bridget Leising, Cincinnati
A TransTirade
I am a new curve subscriber. The April
2009 issue, in fact, was the first I received
and I was excited to see myself and my com:munity reflected in a publication. Imagine my
dismay, then, when I read your Dyke Drama
column entitled "A Casual Encounter" (Vol.
19 #3], in which you set up rules for safe and
respectful one-night stands and casual sex
encounters. After calling on readers to let
their potential sex partners know of their
kinks and fetishes ahead of time, you then
launch into a paragraph-long tirade rife with
what can only, honestly, be called trans-misogyny, trans-phobia and downright meanness.
Please know that my offense is not at
the idea of pre-negotiating sexual boundaries or attaining consent-it is, rather, at the
gender-essentialist way you construct trans
women as that-which-is-not-female, at I.east
not fully, and at least not until they undergo
surgeries or hormone-therapy to fit cultural
constructions of femaleness and femininity.
I fear this article is merely a symptom of a
much larger problem: that our societal ideas
of gender (trans and otherwise) reduce us
merely to flesh and body parts rather than
(a fuller] identity. Would you make the same
demands of a lesbian who had undergone a
double mastectomy-that
she admit it to
you within the first five minutes of meeting, over a gin and tonic in the bar, before
potentially bedding you? Probably not.
Your article is indicative of a problem I've
rubbed up against time and time again10
Icurve
people are confrontedwith differencewhen they
aren't expecting it, they can react in ways that
aren't always positive-and that is, I think,
pretty indicative of what Michele Fisher was
trying to get at. Should they react negatively?
Hell no. But do they? Yes. I'm sorry, though,
that itfelt to you like uncheckedtrans-misogyny
and trans-phobia, because I don't want you
to ever take that feeling away when you read
curve. I work very hard to make sure trans
women are welcomed and embraced by the
magazine and I hope you stay tuned to a few
more issuesto see how we do so.
Editor's Note: Bridget, we take your concerns From the Front Line
very seriously. If you keep reading, you'll see I really appreciated the article "Hostile
that curve makes a special effort to include Territory" in April's issue (Vol. 19 #3]. As
queer trans women in almost every issue and, an LGBT service member, I am constantly
besideshaving a specialtransgender
attempting to keep my sexualissue back in 2006 [Vol. 16 #7],
ity in the closet and, as the rest
two years beforeOut published their
of the world debates accepting
first transgender issue, we've had
LGBT individuals as they are, the
numerous profiles of trans performmilitary seems to want to forget
ers, authors and activistswe exist. Clearly, they know
we do, or the "Don't Ask,
from Candis Cayne to MC
Brennan and Alexandra
Don't Tell" policy would
Billings-in the last sevnot exist. I can only dream
that the fact that we are
eral issues. I feel proud of
Where's the best
the coverage we've given
willing to lay down our
place to meet women?
trans women (and somelives-but
deny ourselves
times trans men) and their
the chance to ever have an
27% Datingservices
issues, and I've gotten a lot
open loving relationship,
of thanks from transgenor bring our significant
25% At a lesbianbar
others to our promotion
der readers who are happy
24% Activities(sports,
ceremonies and eventswith it. I asked a hand.Jul
bookclubs,etc)
will earn a second look.
of trans women to look over
the Dyke Drama column
Maybe someday things
10% At a bookstore
in question, to make sure
will change. Until then, I
will serve from the closet.
it felt acceptable.A numAt the gym
8%
-Anonymous
ber of them said that honOna cruise
4%
estyprior to sex is the.safest
optionfor them. You asked
Straight Chicks
ifwe'dadvise a woman with 2% At the dogpark
Love Us
I'm
a lesbian in college. My
a mastectomy to tell her
According
to a curvemag.com
poll.
partner that she'd had surschool notebook always has
the current issue of curve·
gery. Truthfully, I would,
and we've had lesbianswith cancerwrite about stuck inside, just in case I get the opportuthat very subject before.I don't think you need nity to read it while I'm having some downto tell someone the minute you meet them that time. Last week, I was in the student lounge
you're a cancersurvivor or a trans woman, but having coffee with a friend when she asked
I do think that beforeyou go to their house with if she could see my copy of curve. After
the explicit intention of having sex that you do she had looked through it, it made its way
need to tell them, for your own safety and the around the room. All the girls were looking
protection of your own mental health. 'When through it and discussing some of the articles
Poll
•
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"I fear this articleis
merelya symptomof
a muchlargerproblem:
that our societalideas
of gender- transand
otherwise- reduce
us merelyto fleshand
body partsratherthan
[a fuller]identity."
(they loved Lipstick & Dipstick). It was
so fun to see all these people who were,
for the most part, married-with-children
straight women reading this magazine and
connecting with each other and with me.
Thanks for shining such a positive light
on the community in such a great way. It
does get around. Keep up the good work!
-Andy Hedberg, Seattle, Wash.
Like Nails on a Blackboard
Love your magazine, always have, from
way back. But with teachers highlighted in your magazine [Vol. 19 #3), I
cringed at your cover headline, "Who's
Exploiting Who?" Ain't (isn't) it supposed to be "Who's Exploiting Whom?"
- Jacquelyn M. Burrows, Hawthorne, NJ.
Copy Editor Katherine Wright's Note:
Who? Whom? Potato, pot-ah-to. Yes, you're
right. But, I thought it was brave to break
the rules on the cover (might sell afew magazines) and it reminded me of that burning
Katy Perry question-who's kidding who?
Corrections:
In our "Get Your Motors Running" pictorial [Vol. 19 #2), we wrote that Katie
Putman lives in Thousand Palms, Calif.
She lives in San Francisco. In "Bringing
Her Over" [Vol. 19 #3) we imply that a
state-recognized same-sex marriage will
be recognized in immigration petitions.
Only federally recognized marriages are
recognized, aka heterosexual marriages.
LUCIE
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curve
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Free. Expression.
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CONTRIBUTORS
Curve Gets Around
"It doesn't matter whether you're coming out about being a lesbian,
being disabled, or both. If you feel the need to come out about
it, it means there's still a stigma to it;' says contributing writer
Joanna
Solkoff,
who wrote"Common Grounds" (page 60). Solkoff
has been working with youth with disabilities since founding the
first disability rights organization, the Perfectly Able Club, at the
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. When asked to
speak at a conference on the subject of coming out to your date
about your disability, she realized there was more than one way
to come out. She posted on a Yahoo group to research the article and was surprised at some
responses from co,workers and friends in her small hometown: "So you' re a lesbian? I am, too!"
She continues to promote disability awareness within the gay community by approaching
gay organizations about disability issues and by writing articles. And she hopes, one day soon,
to form a joint organization for gay people and people with disabilities.
'Tm delighted to be continuing my stint at curve and have had the
pleasure of encouraging readers to check out many excellent books by
women authors over the years;' says longtime contributor and book review
editor Rachel
Pepper.
Curve's ongoing commitment to covering the les,
bian book world is something we, as a community, can really take pride
in:'After five years on the East Coast as a coordinator of Yale University's
LGBT Studies program, Pepper is back in the San Francisco Bay Area and
working at UC Berkeley School of Law's Center for Health, Economic
and Family Security. Her latest book project is The TransgenderChild:A Handbookfor Families
and Professionals
(Cleis Press) and her best,known book, The UltimateGuide to Pregnancyfor
Lesbians,has helped thousands of women realize their dream of becoming a parent.
"I think video games are on the verge of being the next great entertain,
ment form;' says contributing writer Danielle
Riendeau.
Her profile on
LesbianGamers.com founders Tracy Whitelaw and Angela Simpson,
"Pushing the Right Buttons" (page 70), was born of a desire to con,
nect with other lesbian gamers and prove that video games really aren't
just for 'geeky boys" anymore. Riendeau lives in Boston, where she
teaches writing and media courses and runs far too many miles in the
wacky New England weather. She has also written on all things geeky and game,related for
AfterEllen.com and GameShark.com and can also be found reviewing old lesbian movies on
her vlog, Retro Reviewing,at After Ellen.
"I started reading horoscopes as way to meet and impress girls;' admits
Charlene
Lichtenstein,
curve's resident astrologer and the author of
our monthly column, Astro Grrl. ''.And then I realized that I could
learn a lot about someone by reading her chart:' Lichtenstein says she
is descended from a long line of persons with extraordinary perceptive
powers. Her great aunt, Etta Weimar, was a famous Romanian card
reader to both kings and queens. Lichtenstein is the author of the best
seller HerScopes:A Guide to Astrologyfor Lesbians(Simon & Schuster),
currently in its seventh printing. She writes a variety of different horoscopes that appear
on her website, www.TheStarryEye.com, her blog, www.TheStarryEye.typepad.com and in
publications worldwide.
121curve
My partner and I just returned
from our European vacation. We
traveled to -London and Paris but
left our hearts in Madrid. We knew
that there was something very
homey about Madrid but didn't
exactly know what until we turned
the corner after sharing a kiss to
see curve on a newsstand! I never
knew you had such a large readership around the world. I could just
see the lesbian and queer women
of Spain flipping through curve
with their English to Spanish
dictionaries close at hand, reading the best lesbian magazine
in America-and apparently in
Spain, too.
-Former editorial assistant
Natalie Bell, San Francisco
Editor's Note: Thanks for the
photo, Natalie! Yes, we like to
imagine European women fawning
over our pages, too. In fact, we're
so taken with the idea that we're
launching a reader contest. Listen
up, readers! Send your photo
of curve in an exotic locale (a
French cafe? A campground in the
Mojave? Your hot tub?) to
letters@curvemag.com and
enter to win our curve Gets
Around contest. We'll pick a new
winner eve,y week in June and
post their photo on the home page
of curvemag.com. The grand prize
winner will have their photo published in print and they'll receive a
lesbo-tastic goodie bag, including
a year's free subscription to our
Digital Edition. Get
snapping, ladies,
and show us
PRIZES
what you got.
WORTH
OVER$75!
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VEGAS
Proposition Hate
A lesbian woman (known as Jane Doe, to protect her
anonymity) is gang-raped by four men in Richmond,
Calif. On her way home from a Minneapolis grocery
store, 32-year-old lesbian Kristen Boyne is beaten
unconscious by two men. These are just two of the
many hate crimes committed against LGBT people
in the past year, and experts say the problem is getting worse.
According to a report compiled by the National
Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP),
the number of reported attacks against LGBT people jumped from 1,486 in 2006 to
1,833 in 2007, a 24 percent increase.
Data isn't available for 2008, but the
number of attacks is expected to be
even higher.
"We do see correlations between
anti-LGBT initiatives and increases
in hate violence;' says Avy Skolnik,
NCAVP coordinator of Statewide
and National Programs."There tend
to be numerical spikes during periods of homophobic or transphobic
political campaigns. It is possible
that [pro-Prop. 8] campaigning
could be interpreted by some as
permission to act violently towards
members of our communities:'
Indeed, the nature of the crimes
indicates that they are reactionary.
The woman from Richmond was attacked when she
stepped out of her rainbow-sticker-adorned car. The
incident brings the issues surrounding the gay marriage debate off the front page and into stark reality.
"This person is a survivor, her partner spoke, she
has a child. All those issues don't always necessarily
come out;' says Tina D'Elia, of Community United
Against Violence in San Francisco. ''A lot of the argument behind the Yes on 8 campaign portrayed gay
marriage as anti-family and being disconnected from
all of that, which is obviously not true:'
D'Elia says that Jane Doe's courage and her honesty
about her sexuality is the reason for the strong community support ~urrounding the incident. Kristen
Boyne (pictured) of Minneapolis has garnered a similar following. In January, activists and friends in her
neighborhood organized a Queer Women's March
in her honor to raise awareness and demand that all
women should be safe on the streets at night.
"The response from the community was overwhelming;' says Andrea Sieve, one of Boyne's good
friends. "Once Kristen's story made the news, we had
people from all different walks of life reaching out to
see how they could help:'
Boyne was walking to a store a few blocks from
home one night when two men began calling her
a "dyke:' When she confronted them, they began
punching her and kicking her in the stomach.
"It was, no doubt about it, a gay-bashing incident;' says Sieve. Boyne's neighborhood is typically
a very gay-friendly area and
the community was shocked
at incident, which happened practically on Boyne's
doorstep.
"Since the march, we have
had an amazing response
from different organizatioi:is
within the queer community,
such as Outfront Minnesota,
locals, artists and community members and several local newspapers;' says Sieve.
''All have shown amazing
support and have stood behind Kristen and our cause
in an effort to get the word
out about the attack, as well
as raise money for Kristen's
medical and living expenses, as she has been out of
work for almost three months now:•
Sieve isn't sure whether the controversy over Prop.
8 and the rise in hate crimes are directly related, but
she does believe the growing presence, voice and support of the gay community may have something to
do with more recent violent attacks.
'fWith positivity, there' will always be negativity from those who do not agree," says Sieve. She
plans to keep the positivity flowing by making
the Queer Women's March (www.myspace.com/
queerwomenmarch)
an annual event. "We have
had such an overwhelming response from the
community and are thankful for all of the help we
have had in planning the Queer Women's March.
We are also extremely thankful for the help that
Kristen has received from community members
and people all around her who care about the
cause:' [KimberlyBale]
HITCHHIKING
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[HeatherRobinson]
June 2009
I 15
the rundown
Is MargeSimpson
playing for our team?
Everyone's favorite animated housewife
shared a smooch with friend Lindsay
Neagle on a recent episode of The
Simpsons.Sure, it turned out to be just
a figment of Homer's imaginationbut let the fan fiction commence ...
Rainbow baby alert! Iron Chefbian
CatCorais pregnant and her wife of
10 years, Jen Cora, just delivered a
son. The couple were already proud
mothers of two boys, ages 5 and
2-delicious!. .. Lesbians get the
coveted Oprah Winfrey bump
thanks to the April 2009
0 magazinearticle "Why Women
Are Leaving Men for Other
Women;' by Mary A. Fischer. first
SuzeOrman,
and now the rest
of us ... Hatemonger extraordinaire FredPhelps,
of "God Hates
Fags" infamy, was banned from entering
the U.K. Taking his hate parade abroad,
Phelps intended to picket a production
of TheLaramie
Project"We will continue to stop those who want to spread
extremism, hatred and violent messages
in our communities from coming to our
country;' a spokesman for the
U.K. border agency told the
BBC. .. A recent Australian
documentary 'outed" the
country's secret lesbian oasis:
AliceSprings.
The outback
town is remote and packed
with queer gals. Now that's what
we call "thunder from down under': ..
GayCities.com
has launched a free app for
the iPhone and iPod Touch that allows
users have location info on gay-friendly ,
bars, restaurants, hotels and beaches at
their fingertips. Now, where is the closest
girl bar?... HalaModdelmog,
president and
CEO of Susan G. Komen for the Cure,
was honored with the Healing Works
Award at the recent Mautner Projects
19th Anniversary Gala for her"outstanding service to the lesbian community"
and her work in promoting the importance of cancer early detection ... At press
time, the California Supreme Court has
yet to announce its ruling on Prop.8.
Let's hope Iowa, Vermont and D.C. sway
them. [Rachel
Shatto]
16jcurve
Lotsa LAVA Love
LAVA,the award-winning all-female acr.obatics, trapeze
and dance troupe, debuted we become with music and
text by lesbian powerhouse musician Toshi Reagon at the
Brooklyn Lyceum in February. The performance, which
focuses on the queering of female relationships, had a very
successful run in New York's largest borough.
"To have the luxury of a 12-run performance and be
able to sit up front, focus and have my life revolve, four
nights a week for a month, around contemplating the
performance and watching it become more juicy," says
Reagon, "was amazing."
According to LAVA's founder and artistic director,
Sarah East Johnson, "While we become is about intimacy
between women and not necessarily sexuality-and most, but not all, the members
are lesbian-we are all comfortable with the way we politicize our performance."
LAVA (www.lavalove.org) is director-led, but the entire group has a voice in the
performance. "The performers generated much of the material through assignments and also do a lot of improv, which helps keep it alive and personal," says
Johnson. "It's a process-a balance of individuality and collectivity."
This "movement ensemble" of artists who perform "acrobatic and feminist
feats" comprises six women, who create and perform in the group's shows. All
the women also teach movement, acrobatics and dance to neighborhood children
and adults. With a studio located in the Prospect Heights section of Brooklyn,
the women of LAVA,including Johnson, who founded the group in 2000, work in
tandem with the Brooklyn community to cultivate partners, performers, funders and
an audience. [Stephanie
Schroeder]
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Who missed the mark and who was right on target?
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1 Revelers at Dollhouse, Minneapolis 2 ProSuzy.com owner
Suzanne Noe at University of S. Florida's GALA 3 Dipstick
and Alison Bechdel at Portland, Ore.'s Wordstock 4 Musician
Ashleigh Flynn with contributing editor Stephanie Schroeder
at WFUV's On Your Radar in NYC 5 Girl Bar rocks Dinah
Shore 6 L&D with author LucyJane Bledsoe at Laurel Books in
Oakland, Cali£ 7 Cybill Shepherd at Cafe La Boheme's L Word
finale in WeHo 8 Rachel Maddow with GoGetYourGirlOn's
Nova Brown at a Mother Jones benefit in SF 9 At the Dinah,
founder Mariah Hanson and Work Out's Briana Stockton 10
Smitten Kitten's Jennifer Pritchett at the Quorum Community
Leadership Awards 11 Jen Corday and Vickie Shaw in
Provincetown 12 The L Word's Daniela Sea, Marlee Matlin,
Katherine Moennig and Ilene Chaiken at Cafe La Boheme
LESBOFILE
Gettingthe Upper Hand
Who's got leverage and who's just burned out? By Jocelyn Voo
TheEndfor LiRo
SamanthaRonsonand LindsayLohan are
officially splitsville according to Twitter, Us
Weekly and your mom. Cele-blogger Perez
Hilton is reporting that not only did the two
end things disagreeably, but also very publicly, by way of the social messaging service
Twitter, where Lohan accused Ronson of
drug use and infidelity.
Since the breakup went public, Lohan has
appeared on the cover of Us Weekly, speaking
openly for the first time about her love affair
with Ronson, telling the mag she's "so alone"
without her.
down last year, saying its sizing was "limiting:'
Look for the rocker- and vintage-inspired
capsule collection this July.
"I'm a CrazyPerson"
Since she won American Idol so many years
ago, KellyClarksonhas had a string of No. 1
hits ("Since U Been Gone;' "My Life Would
Suck Without You") that all have a common
theme: bad breakups. Which, of course, has
fans wondering: Since Clarkson's batting
average is so low with men, could she secretly
be playing for the other team?
"Lesbians tell it to me all the time;' the
singer told PopEater.com. 'Tm like, Tm glad
CoverGirlGoesCouture
it works for you and I wish I liked women
First BethDittoplays model and lands the like that, because oftentimes men are very
inaugural cover of Love, then the cover of hard for me, but I happen to like boys:"
Out and now the Gossip front woman is
"I could never be a lesbian;' she added. "I
stepping into the role of fashion designer would never want to date [someone like]
with her own collection for U.K. label Evans, myself, ever. I'm a crazy person:' Ah, little
a plus-size line. Of course, this could be inter- does she know (as every lesbian who's ever
preted as a snub to a certain retail giant, that had a U-Haul misadventure can attest),
regularly puts out celebrity lines (KateMoss, "crazy" is pretty much the ultimate aphrodianyone?). Ditto reportedly turned Topshop
siac. Kelly, you'd probably fit right in.
18 I curve
GirlFight
When CourtenaySemel, the daughter of
ex.:.Yahoo!CEO Terry Semel, gets burned
in a relationship, she burns right backliterally. A source told the New York Post
that after she and Band-Aid heiress Casey
Johnsongot into a huge fight, Semel "pro:ceeded to beat the crap out of [Johnson),
and then she lit her hair on fire. Casey had
to be hospitalized:'
Semel denies the allegations, saying they
are still friends. But she's got more immediate problems.
"My family cut me off;' she told the Post
in February, claiming that her trust fund was
frozen and her father wouldn't return her
calls. Apparently, the last straw was Semel's.
scuffle with a club security guard in Las
Vegas in 2008, when she landed herself in
jail after drunkenly screaming, "Do you even
know who I am, fucking idiot? Google me,
you dumb fuck;' and then punching him in
the face.
Looks like the old saying holds true: Hell
hath no fury like a lesbian scorned. ■
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A P•inkCit Prate e
MademoiselleKat bringsher women to the streets.By Nina Lary
Mademoiselle Kat (www.mademoisellek.net)
doesn't reject the masculine-she just paints over
it. A female graffiti artist originally from Toulouse,
France, Kat works hard to give women a place in
the big city.
"The city is so male;' she says. ''A lot of architecture is male and the city needs a feminine sense for me. I
want the city [to be] more sweetie, sugar, babe!"
As a teenager in the '90s, Kat found inspiration in a
thriving scene of female graffers (a common term for graffiti
artists). In Pink City, as she calls it, Kat met Miss Van, a graffer whose female characters are both erotic and menacing.
"Here is the start of a real story of girls who paint with
pencils in the street in France;' she says. She and Miss Van
started painting together, bonding over a shared love of
color, cartoon, characters and graffiti.
Kat also draws inspiration from the energy of the city,
the solidarity of fellow graffers and a little ol' story about a
woman named Eve and a snake named Na'hash.
"I want to go deeper and deeper into the expression of
desire. The man is not the first on earth for me;' she says.
"The forbidden fruit is not only an apple:'
She enjoys recasting the flagship fable of female sin with
her own characters, which, she says, could all be the same
person. "I think the same woman can be a lot of women
in the same day. Our life asks of us this sort of multiplicity of identities:'
By bringing a colorful expression of the female and its
many faces-playful, sensual, colorful, joyful-into public
spaces, she hopes to create a social exchange. But the law
in France is growing increasingly harsh about graffiti, so
she can't always create murals on the spot. To avoid being
caught and fined, she sometimes paints on wallpaper first
and then pastes her graffiti onto the city's walls later.
Kat and her women have been welcomed in cities around
the world. Aside from shows in Paris and Barcelona, she
has painted at the Can!t Festival in Antwerp, Belgium and
at the International Meeting of Styles, one of the largest
graffiti events in the world. Kat was also invited by les
pekins de Toulouse, a French-Chinese artist exchange, to
paint a mural in Chongqing, a Chinese municipality with
over 30 million residents.
She looks forward to increasing her exposure with
more gallery shows but says the street will always live
inside her. "Urban art is one of the best expressions;' Kat
says. ''This is the true place for my women:' ■
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OUTINFRONT
Barin It All
These women aren't afraid to expose themselves. By Sheryl Kay
TheBestMedicine
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the class of 2009. It's been quite the journey
Uncomfortable situations plus humor equal for Higgins, who, just 10 years ago, was outed
accessibility. This is the equation that has in a journal entry that her mother read, and
guided TaniaKatanto an internationally sue, then was rejected by her suburban Chicago
cessful career incorporating comedy and parents, who told her she was sick and needed
breast cancer. Katan knows all about the lat, help. She was sent to a dozen different psy,
ter, having survived the disease twice, once chiatrists and psychologists, subjected to
at age 21, and again 10 years later. "Being ill blood tests to check her hormone levels, and
and solemn is a bit redundant;' she says. "If I sent to a gynecologist to be certain noth,
weren't able to see the absurdity, levity, com, ing was "physically wrong:' From the age of
edy in my illness, then I would just grab a , 16 until her 18th birthday, Higgins was not
bottle of Jim Beam, a rusty razor
blade, turn on Elliott Smith and
end it all, you know:"'
An awareness activist, Katan,
now 37, can often be seen run,
ning topless in 10k breast cancer
research fundraisers. She does this
not for shock value, but as a visual
reminder of why the runners are
there in the first place. Lesbians,
she notes, are among those who
are most in need of a reminder to
get checkups. "As far as lesbians
and breast exams go, it's our job
to touch each other's boobies;' she
says. "I have no idea why women
wouldn't want to keep tabs on each
other's breasts:' Recently, Euro,
pean fans were enthralled with
Katan's solo performance, Saving
Tania'sPrivates,at the Scotland's Edinburgh
allowed to leave home unless she was escorted
Fringe Festival. Rave reviews have led to talks by a family member and was not allowed to
about a possible film based on the show.
use the phone or the Internet, or to watch
Without diminishing the severity of can, TV. Falling into a deep depression, Higgins
cer, Katan says her illness hasn't been all bad. contemplated suicide. Then, one day, she
"Having cancer two times before my 32nd decided to get out. "I made a conscious
birthday has offered me insight that most decision to take control of my life and to stop
people my age don't have access to;' she says. allowing my parents to decide my worth or
"There's something freeing about knowing you my fate;' she says.
can kick cancer's ass a few times. It frees you
Higgins put all her energy into starting
up to live your life with more urgency, humor the first GSA in her high school and, at 18,
and love:' Be on the lookout for Katan's newest literally pushed her father out of the way,
book, which she is finishing this year.
left home and, by working dozens of jobs,
financed her undergraduate education while
TakingControl
maintaining honors status at the University
Today, 26,year,old LindsayHigginsis poised of Illinois at Urbana,Champaign. She then
to graduate from Tulane Medical School in went on to Tulane as a recipient of a Point
Foundation Scholarship.
While keeping med student hours,
Higgins also managed to serve in numerous
volunteer capacities, including two years with
a hospice, and as an in,home care assistant
for people with disabilities. Most recently, she
helped to found Flambeaux, a New Orleans,
based LGBT support group for the under, 18
crowd, the first such group to organize since
Hurricane Katrina. "I realize that I've ben,
efited from many opportunities that others
, are not afforded, so, for me, it is also
important to give back to the com,
munity;' she says.
Strategistfor Progress
After working for more than 10
years in health advocacy and politi,
cal strategy at the Human Rights
Campaign and eventually becoming
vice president, WinnieStachelberg
has
met her fair share of political heavy
hitters. "I also traveled around the
country meeting LGBT folks and lis,
tening to them share their stories;' she
says. "I am truly lucky:'
Stachelberg also spent three years
in the Office of Management and
Budget as a career budget exam,
iner in both the George H.W. Bush
and the Clinton administrations. "I
learned so much about the federal govern,
ment, healthcare policy and how D.C. works,
or doesn't;' she says of her time there. She
eventually went on to join the Center for
American Progress, a progressive think tank
started by John Podesta, President Obama's
transition team leader. The group's goal is to
help refocus national attention away from
security issues and onto education, healthcare,
the economy and energy policy. As senior
vice president for external affairs, Stachelberg
takes people's ideas and helps to inject them
into the political debate-turn
them into
action and policy. Lesbians, she says, face
unique hurdles, especially during tough eco,
nomic times. As debates heat up, lesbians must
be a part of the conversation too, she says. ■
June 2009
I 21
ADVICELipstick & Dipstick
Summon Your Pride
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: When I came out
to my Christianfamily,they kicked me out that
very night. For the next year,I receivedphone
calls from my parents begging me to repent
and come home and letters from my younger
siblingstelling me they missedme and asking
me why I left. Sadly,the girl I was dating was
dishonest and immature,so the relationship
didn'tlast.Bythistime,I was so desperate
to •
seemybrothers
andsisters,I decided
to tellmy
momit was all a mistake.It's beenso goodto
getto seemysiblings
again.Lastyear,however,
I met an amazingwomanwho makesme feel
completely
loved.I wantto shareher with my
family,but I can't becausemy momand dad
havesaid they'd completelycut me off if I ever
"fall back into that." My sistertold methe same
thing.Jugglingmytwo livesis verydifficult,and
I wouldjust tell themanddealwith it, but I absolutelycannotput my siblingsthroughthat again.
Thestressof comingup with lies to placatemy
family is wearingme out.LastweekI was diagnosedwith MS,too, and I am so scaredabout
whatto donow.- TheClosetIs KillingMe
Lipstick:
Wow, if there was a way I could give
you a hug right now, I would. There is no
easy way out of your situation. You have two
choices: speak your truth and deal with the
fallout or stay in this toxic mess and watch
it (most likely) destroy this
new love. You say you don't
want to put your brothers
and sisters "through that
again;' but what about
your needs? Your quality
of life? Your happiness?
Don't they count for something? Eventually, your
family will realize they' re
going against Jesus' grain
by judging you so harshly.
Hypocrisy is the bane of
society. Closet Girl, you are
far more courageous than
you realize, so grit your
teeth and face this wrath.
Your family loves you
and the world is changing
faster than I can type, so
be hopeful, be strong and
believe in who you are.
Also, check out this online
resource for support www.
whosover.org.
Dipstick:
Lipstickis rightyou need a hug. But you're
going to need a whole lot
more than that right now.
I'm worried about your
health. Rarely would I
advise someon~o stay in
the closet, but ifby coming
out you lose your family's support forever,
then maybe, in this instance, it's not worth it.
I need to know that you have the resources to
face chronic illness. Do you have good medical insurance, financial resources to get you
through if you can't work, and an extended
network of friends who will support you
if you need it? Talk to your doctors. Get a
good therapist. The stress from your strained
relationship with your family could very
well be making your illness worse. Here's a
hug from me, too.
DearLipstickandDipstick:I recentlymeta girl
onlineandthingsaregoinggreat.Weonlyhave
one problem:She has a girlfriend.I'm really
beginning
to fall for her,andwheneverI bring
up the topicof her girlfriendsheshrugsit off.
ShouldI moveonorwaituntiltheybreakup?I'm
beginning
to feellikea mistress.
- SuzyQ75
Dipstick:That's because you are a mistress.
At least she told you she has a girlfriend.
Be thankful for that. Either she's poly or a
player. Even though I give her props for disclosing the girlfriend, she's not being honest
with you about her intentions. Time to drop
her like your old dial-up ~onnection.
Lipstick:Cack! While I think the Internet is
a great place for singles to meet each other,
what's happening here is an online cancer in
our community. Unless you want to get hurt,
stay away from this double-dipping dyke.
Find someone who's actually available and
you'll have much more fun getting to know
her and imagining your life together. Besides,
when you finally do meet one day, you won't
have to wear a bulletproof vest or keep your
eye on the bushes for her girlfriend.
DearLipstickandDipstick:
I onlyrecently
came
out and haven'twantedto date anyoneyet
becauseI don't know what the etiquetteis
surrounding
bodyhair.I don'tlikeremoving
my
bodyhair,butI dotrim.Isthelesbian
community~
a:
moreopento femalebodyhairthanthe hetero- ~
w
sexualworld,or am I stillgoingto be unusual? a
~
- Hirsutein EastHempstead
:E
TOPTENTHINGS
OVERHEARD
ATPRIDE:
10
Wasn'thea womanlastyear?
very different bushy corners on this issue.
Since you're a self-proclaimed trimmer,
why not try one of these muff-dos for your
first hookup?
"'
"'
9
Dirty "V":Some say it stands for
8
"victory," that if you've gotten far
enough to see the "V" shaved onto
your lover's soft upper pussy it's
just that-a victory. You've won.
Others call this the "V" Formation, a
nod to the many birds that migrate
each year (you guessed it), south.
Thisis my bestfriend.
Sheis my girlfriend'sex-girlfriendandwe
datedfor a while,too,whenmy girlfriend
andI tooka shortbreaklastsummer.
I think I just heardsexsounds
in the Porta-Potty.
7
Thatgirl just flashedme!
6
Whereis the beergarden?
5
Is that a hotwomanor a dragqueen?
4
Someone
farted.
3
Haveyourpeoplecall my people.
2
Curve PrideSpecial:
One-yearsubscriptionfor only$15!
1
AreLipstickandDipsticka couple?
Dipstick:
Welcome to the lesbian world, where
hairy is hot! Don't worry, you won't have any
problems attracting women with bushy pits
and furry legs. As a matter of fact, for most
lesbians, the extra hair is a turn-on. You may
find one or two gals who are still waxing their
bush, a holdout from their closeted sorority
days, but take notice when you're dancing at
the dyke bar-you'll
practically see pubes
poking out of their designer jeans.
Lipstick:I'm not sure what gorilla planet
you're living in, Dipstick, but it's not my
gay world. You get turned on when you see
pubes poking out of jeans? (Chill down my
spine.] Not this lezzie!
Dipstick:Forget what Lipstick says and just
make sure to do what feels comfortable.
After all, it's the self-confident swagger that's
going to bring the girls to your yard, not how
neat your shrubs are.
Lipstick:Hirsute, don't listen to Dipstick.
She's stuck in the '80s, and we are in two
Sassy Sphinx: Remember the hairless kitty in Austin Powers? Need I
say more?
The Berm: If your hair is long
enough, a bush perm might be
right for you. The chemicals can
burn, but it's trendy with Roller
Derby girls.
Pullet (aka Pube Mullet): A good
choice for those who aren't ready
to get rid of the thicket. To outsiders,
this girl looks like she's au nature/,
but then springs one on you when
you get down there. It's hairy on top
for sex appeal, but shaved down
below to provide a clean palette for
the party.
Vaginaromo: Rumored to be
popular in Italy. I've only heard of
this, never actually seen it in person.
It may be an urban myth, as it
involves hair dye and barrettes.
MammaMia!
The Runway: The top choice for
budding lesbians, who are just
beginning to explore another
woman's body. Here, there is
enough hair to remind you she's
of age, but not enough to eclipse
the sun. It practically comes with
instructions and a directional that
says "Right here, baby." Orange
traffic-controller flashlights optional.
Got a relationship problem? Don't know
what to do? Watch brand
new episodes of The
Lipstick & Dipstick Show
at curvemag.com.
DAMR N
VACATIONS
VISIT:
DAMRONVACATIONS
.COM
CALL:
1.888.850.6585
ADVICERelationships
Lookin Back at the Closet
Ten lessons you' II learn after you come out. By Kate Lacey
They say that in some situations hindsight
is 20,20 and coming out of the closet is one
of them. You won't know what will happen
until you do it, but here are some realiza,
tions that might help you on your way.
you had to pretend you were just two old
pals, in case someone you knew showed
up at the bowling alley. The brain power
required to hide a significant part of your,
self from others can be used for better,
more noble purposes, like curing cancer or
1. Thenewsmightnotshockyourlovedones. writing the script for a lesbian drama that
You fear the rejection that may come after
actually resembles real life.
their surprise that you duped them with
your clever masquerade for all those years. 5. Comingout is a continuous
process.Most
But, once you tiptoe out of the closet,
of us don't get to give a press conference or
maybe no one will even bat an eye at the go on national news to declare 'Tm out!" to
news. The most common response might
the world. If this were the case, it'd be over
be, "It's about time. You were, like, the
and done with, everybody would know and
last to know." Many times, it is your own you'd never need to discuss your sexual,
sense of denial that is pushed up against
ity again. The truth is, we come out to our
the closet door.
families. Then, we come out to our friends.
Then we come out at work. Then we make
2. It's OKto sayyou'regay,bisexualor trans- new friends and have to come out to them.
gender.Call your sexual identity what it is. Coming out is not a single event; it is a
Many gay people do not appreciate it when
series of conversations. It gets easier over
you say, 'Tm not gay or bisexual, I just fell time. You'll learn when to have the sense to
in love with another woman." Hello! Why
come out and when it's nobody's business
not just wear a shirt that says 'Tm not a who you shack up with.
lesbian, but my girlfriend is." What's in a
name? Only courage and the empowerment
6. Youdon'tneedto pushthe issuewith your
you feel when you give your love the respect
family.If you have the kind of family that
it deserves. There's no shame in saying that
doesn't really want to discuss your sexu,
you're bisexual, ambisexual or even plain
ality, but they also didn't go the route of
old ordinary homosexual.
kicking you into the street, you do not need
to have that awkward conversation with
3. It's lonelierinsidethe closetthanout.Your them more than once. There is no need to
ticket to gay parades in bright sunl~ght, turn every family gathering into a group
bars where you can grind with a same,sex
therapy session. If they don't ask you about
partner and websites where you can use it, but treat you the same and treat your
your full name is waiting to be punched.
partner respectfully, then why rock the
The fear of rejection and ridicule is doing
boat? However, you may have to come out
nothing more than keeping you isolated.
to your grandmother over and over again,
You'll find more dates by getting out there
because she has lost touch with reality and
than you ever will slow dancing with the forgets what you already told her.
Odor Eaters in the walk,in.
7. If peoplecan't embracethe real you,then
4. You'llfree yourmindfor otherthings.Do youdon'twantthemin yourlife. Send those
you realize how much energy it takes to folks off to the White Sale to buy a new
swap pronouns in advance of using them?
sheet to wear at their next cross burning
Changing all those "she"s to "he"s as you tell and don't waste your energy missing them.
the story of your hot date last weekend is
exhausting. And that's the hot date where 8. On the other hand,sometimesit's OKto
24
Icurve
forgiveyour lovedones. If your family or
friends can't accept you as a gay person, try
to keep a door open and an olive branch
extended. Be the bigger person, especially
if the person, say your grandparent, is ill.
In the end, it will make you feel better that
you didn't shut them out.
9. Onceyou'reout,youcanneverreallygoback
in.That's like trying to fit into your old prom
dress. You can do it, but it's not pretty.
10. Half the peopleyouwent to schoolwith
are gay.The fact that all those high school
and college classmates are out and proud ~
makes all those years you felt so different ~
into a gay ironic comedy. If only you had ~
0
known, the crowning of the homecoming
~
queen would have taken on a whole new ~
meaning. ■
I
~
One is good. Two is better.
Three is a party.
Four is totally Sweet!
SOUTHWEST.
proud member of
I LTA
•'7o"'uthwest.com/qaytravel •
OFFICIAL AIRLINE
CALL 877 793 3830
DISCOVER SWEET.COM
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ADVICEHealth
ComingOut at the Keyboard
An online counselor talks up the benefits of Internet therapy. By Dr. Barbara Nefer
You're fighting with your partner and you
both want counseling, but seeing someone
in your tiny town isn't a viable option. Or
maybe you need someone to talk to, but
you're still coming to terms with your sexuality, so you're not comfortable discussing it
face-to-face, especially with a stranger. In
either of these cases, where do you turn?
More lesbians are finding that immedi-
26
ate, private help is as close as
their keyboard. Licensed professionals are available 24/7, through
online counseling services like
LivePerson.com.
You'll know
right away which counselors are
lesbians, or at least gay-friendly,
because many declare their own
sexuality or invite lesbian clients.
"When I was just starting to
admit my sexuality, I couldn't talk
to anyone about it;' says "Carla;' a
25-year-old lesbian who came out
last year. "I was married and had a
kid, so I wasn't going to walk into
a counselor's office. The only way
I could handle it was by talking to
someone anonymously:'
Online sessions take place via instant messaging. Many services handle the billing and
are able to shield the client's identity. If you're
not comfortable with the counselor, you can
instantly end the session.
I am an online counselor, and almost half
my clients are lesbians and gay men. The two
most discussed issues are preparing to come
out and relationship problems. I always
hear "This is so much easier than going to
someone's office:'
Most of my lesbian clients live in the
United States, but I've worked with women
around the globe, from India to Australia.
Internet therapy means that gay-affirming
professionals are available to women in countries where lesbians are still stigmatized.
Other barriers to face-to-face counseling, both in the United States and abroad,
include living in a small, conservative
community where confidentiality is difficult
to maintain, being at a questioning stage of
coming out and being afraid of the counselor's disapproval. When you're online, no
one else knows your business and you can
instantly "fire" an incompatible therapist.
If you need counseling, you should get itand now, help is literally at your fingertips. ■
Barbara Nefer is a doctor of psychologywith
several years of online counselingexperience
and a highpercentageof LGBT clients.She is
alsoafreelancewriter with an upcomingbook,
So You Want to Be a Counselor.
~@®11@
~~®11@
Lesbian, gay and
bisexual adults are
twice as likely
to have a history
of depression or
anxiety, according
to researchersin the
U.K. who examined
25 past studies of
sexual orientation
and mental health.
LGBT respondentswho said
they needed help with a
mental health concern over
the prior year but didn't seek
treatment, accordingto a 2007
study,Mental Health Services
Access for SexualMinority
Individuals.Mistrustof providers
and concernsabout findingan
affirmativecounselorplayed into
a reluctanceto get help.
Icurve
Respondentswho had
no health insurance
coverage, according to
the same survey. Because
most insuranceproviders
won't pay for online
counseling,it's often priced
more affordably,to make it
availableto clients paying
out-of-pocket.
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©McNEIL-PPC, Inc. 2009
Fold this pillow in half.
If your pillow at home bends like this
and stays bent, it's time for a new one.
If it bounces back, you're good to go.
A bad pillow can mean a bad night's sleep. If your pillow doesn't
provide proper support, it can lead to pain and sleepless nights.
TYLENOL®PM Rapid Release Gels can ease the pain and contains
a sleep aid that, when used as directed, is non-habit forming.
How's that for being supportive?
Feel better,
TYLENOL.
PM
Use only as directed. Do not take TYLENOL®with other products containing acetaminophen.
tylenol.com/glbt
ASTROGRRL
Take It to the Streets
Sexy secrets, big risks and plenty of fun in store for June. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Gemini(May22-June21)
Sex: A secret crush makes herself known. Will you
return the attention? Career:Sweep out the cobwebs
on the job and begin to plan some new maneuvers.
Not only can you move and shake, you can rearrange
the landscape-'bout
time.
Cancer(June22-July23)
Sex: A particular gal pal has her eye on you. A steamy
June is in store for all Crabs who want to cook. Gather
all your friends and see who is wearing the apron ...
and nothing else. Career:
Join new groups and expand
your corporate outreach. There is strength in numbers, especially when preceded by a dollar sign.
DOUBLE YOUR
PLEASURE WITH
A GEMINI
Geminigalsaresomeof the
fewtrulygiftedacrobatsin the
zodiac,blesstheircreativelittle
souls.(Askherto showyouthe
bananatrick... ) Whattheylack
in stamina,theymakeupfor in
enthusiasm,
sleazypillowtalk
anddirty,delicioussurprises.
Thereis notellingwhatyou
will find in herboxof treats,
buteatthemquickly,beforeit
disappears.
If you'relookingfor
a relentless
bulldozer,
choosea
Taurus.Forburstsof excitement,yourgalis the pinkTwin;
shelikesto doubleherpleasure
andcomesin pairs.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Sex: Lionesses are on the prowl for love at work. Is
this advisable? Only if you're hungry for a particular
perk. Otherwise, search for love after hours. Career:
You are a corporate powerhouse. Mark your territory
and make your move. There is money to be made in a
good idea. If you can't think of one, steal it.
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Sex: Spice up your love life with some different toys
and positions. Better still, try a new locale. Heck, any
excuse for an exotic vacation. Career:
Taking a creative
approach to an old problem will yield great results.
Better still, get a group together to brainstorm. Do I
hear thunder?
Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
Sex: Relationships can be made or laid this June.
What do you need? Who makes you happy? Now
get out there and look! Career:A mentor will help
you out on the job. Some things you can control, others you can't. Know when to let someone else drive.
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Sex: Strenuous exercise will make you ravenous and
passionate. Don't waste all that great energy on the
treadmill. Career:
Forge new business partnerships and
liaisons this June. You can sell the Brooklyn Bridge to
anyone, but how will you deliver it?
Sagittarius
(Nov.23-Dec.22)
Sex: Not only do you have great reserves of energy,
you also have a long to-do list. Hm, how many names
28
Icurve
are on that list? Career:A light flirtation bubbles up
at work. But do you really need the complication?
Who will ·do your filing when the champagne bubbles pop?
Capricorn
(Dec.23-Jan.20)
Sex: Take a risk this June. The sky is the limit, so don't
be shy. You become the planet around which all lesser
orbs orbit. Who will you pull into your atmosphere?
Career:
There are those at work who think that you are
a genius. Prove them correct this June and paint few
artistic flourishes on the usual wonky memos.
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Sex: June is the month to relax around the house and
cocoon. Invite some bosom buddies over for a pajama
party ... pajamas optional. Career:
There is a woman at
work who gives you a helping hand. Notice her and be
suitably grateful. Next month it's your turn.
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Sex: You can charm just about anyone this June. Will
you waste your hon mots on just another pretty face
or will you go for substance? Ah, typical! Career:
Find
opportunities to showcase your job knowledge this
June. You have a lot going for you. Use it before it is
going, going, gone.
Aries(March21-April20)
Sex: June rocks to your roll so make your sexiest
moves now and see how far you can take any romantic encounter. Keep counting, sister! Career:Hard
work pays off this June and it's about time. Will you
spend your dough with reckless abandon or save it all
for a rainy day? Let's guess.
Taurus(April21-May21)
Sex: You become the epicenter of adoration and
receive loving attention through the month. Be sure
to dress the part ... or is that undress the part? Career:
You make a powerful impression on the powers that
be. How good an impression is up to you, though. ■
AstrologerCharleneLichtensteinis the author ofHerscopes: A Guide to Astrology
for Lesbians. Get more at thestarry
eye.comorgotoherblogat thestarryeye.typepad.com.
ITRIED
IT
Dom for a Day
Ever consider taking up the whip? By Victoria A. Brownworth
w
§
~
cc
~w
w
cc
~
0
()
Admit it, with the economy tanking, you've
sat around with a bunch of female friends
and said,"Well, I could always be a (fill in the
sex,worker job here]:•
OK, maybe you only thought it. You never
got closer than looking at those advertise,
ments for phone,sex, massage parlor, strip
club or escort jobs. But you did
think, Would it really be that
difficult if you didn't actually
have real sex? Then you turned
the page. I didn't turn the page.
I made the call.
I'll admit it wasn't my first
foray into sex work. I'd been a
nude model in college. I'd also
been a nude dancer. It wasn't
fun, but it wasn't hard. I made a lot more
money dancing than waitressing, and I never
had to touch anyone.
Now I was older and wiser-and,
I
thought, much better, after years of being a
writer, at using my diverse verbal talents. I'd
been publishing erotica, pornography and
sex tips for years, in addition to my seri,
ous writing. I'd given sex workshops both
for lesbians and for straight women. I'd done
seminars on SIM and bondage and discipline.
How hard could it be to turn all this
working knowledge into a job that would
subsidize my writing? I thought.
Was it all those years in Catholic school
that made me think "dominatrix"? Or all
those years of teaching German cinema,
combined with my white,blond hair, 5,foot,
9,inch frame and 40D breasts that just
screamed leather bustier, high,heeled boots,
cat o' nine tails and black lipstick?
One thing I have learned as a tall, femme,
dom lesbian is that tops are in demand. And
what I know from watching Wall Streeters
lick their lips during Congressional hearings,
a?d Republicans getting caught in fiagrante
brothello,is that straight men in power like to
be on the bottom as much as butch lesbians
like to turn those same tables-as long as no
one knows about it.
The thing about sex work is that it
always looks more glamorous online or in the
movies than it does up close and personal.
You have to get into the persona and enjoy
the role,playing to make it work. I already
knew from my college jobs that being naked
in front of strangers was not as much fun as
Demi Moore and Jenna Jameson attempted
to make it look.
But no one can ignore
the money streaming from
the sex industry-it's big
and it's recession,proo£ So,
I took the plunge.
There I was, "Vida Blue"
dressed in sexy,shiny, warm
pleatherette, looking like
a refugee from an early
Fassbinder film, eager to bring someone to
their knees. I was ready for business.
Or so I thought.
Fantasy vs. reality is always such a buzz
kill. I had been sure I would be so good at
this new job that I'd be free to spend the next
decade writing my heart out with no finan,
cial worries. Then came the actual work.
Being a dominatrix requires more than
just a great outfit and skillful repartee-it
involves being part of someone else's fantasy,
whether you share that fantasy or not-and
I didn't. My fantasy was that I could support
my writing career. My clients' fantasy was
that they could let go of every bit of power
and personhood they had.
You'd think that I would have understood
the complexities of the job I was about to
embark upon and fallen right into the role.
You'd think that I would have been able to
project all my outrage at the way men had
oppressed women, and apply my politics to
a practical reality.
It didn't work out that way. The thing
about sex work is that it is still sex. And I
didn't want to bear the burden of someone
else's need to be humiliated, hurt and less
than human. Suddenly this job was not so
perfect. I tried it, but I just didn't like it.
Some things you never get a taste for, even
when you think you might. ■
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DYKE
DRAMA
Sorry About All the Drama
The expert fumbles a classic lesbo scenario. By Michele Fisher
Now she's mad at me. She said she was tired
of the drama. I was only trying to help. All
they did was fight all the time, anyway. You'd
think she would be grateful to me for helping
her out of a bad situation. Whatever, I have
other friends.
After all these years of being immersed
in other women's problems, you'd think I
could spot a phony cry for help, but even a
semiprofession3:l can be fooled.
It all started a few months ago when Betsy
was sitting at her workstation, staring off into
space with that forlorn look that only comes
from dyke drama. I didn't even need to ask.
Betsy and her lover fought all the time.
As I approached her, I remembered all the
shoulders I had cried on over the years. Let
she who is without drama cast the first stone,
right? So, I asked her what was wrong, and
she told me all about the argument they'd
had the night before. It was over macaroni
and cheese. It had started at about midnight
with a discussion about whose turn it was to
make a late,night snack and ended at about
3 a.m. when Betsy's lover told her to get out.
Betsy had wisely kept her own apartment for
just such an occasion. Not that she ever got
much sleep there, but at least it kept her from
having to blubber on the streets all night.
She said she had called, but her girlfriend
wasn't picking up the phone. I suggested
a text, but Betsy's texts had already gone
unanswered.
That was when Betsy uttered the words
that started this whole mess. "I am just so sick
of fighting. I want it to stop for good;' she said.
Most of us who know Betsy would have been
OK with a murder,for,hire scheme. We were
tired of their relationship, too. But apparently
she had something a little less fatal in mind.
I asked her if she was truly serious about
ending all the drama, and she said that it was
all she wanted in life. I told her to apologize to
her woman. Betsy hated the idea.
She wasn't wrong, she insisted, and she
hadn't done anything that required an apol,
ogy. I reminded her of her last three breakups
with this woman and all the lost productivity
30
Icurve
they'd resulted in. An apology would do the
trick, I assured her. Besides, she didn't have
to say what she was sorry about. She might
mean that she was sorry they'd had a fight at
all, not that she was sorry for whatever the
argument was about. The beauty of the apol,
ogy is that it doesn't really matter what you
are sorry for, as long as you say you are sorry.
Betsy started to see the light. I told her that I
would watch her desk while she snuck off to
make the call.
A few minutes later, she returned with a
less than triumphant look on her face. She
had left the apology on her lover's voicemaiL
She just knew it wasn't going to work. I just
knew that it was, and I said so as I went back
to my own tasks.
.
At quitting time, Betsy was all smiles. It
had worked. Her woman had called her to
say that she had accepted her apology and
couldn't wait to see her!
Another happy ending ... but it was just the
a:
~
w
~
~
~
~
:x::
beginning-of the end.
I suppose I could lie and say that I didn't
see it coming, but how could I when I was
steering the bus? Allow me to remind you
again, dear readers, Betsy said she wanted
to put a stop to this endless cycle of grinding drama.
The next time Betsy came to work with
a long face, I gave her the same advice. She
didn't really want to hear it this time. There
was no way her lover was going to let her off
the hook again with just an apology, Betsy
insisted. And besides, why did she always
have to be the one to give in? It isn't giving
in, I told her. It is moving on.
It was no surprise to me that it worked
again.
Nothing kills drama like an apology.
Couples who live to fight are locked in a power
struggle. The drama is a product of nobody
wanting to give in or lose the emotional
tug-o-war.
AO SPACE
GENEROUSLY
DONATED
BY
For any girl who is truly tired of her dramalock relationship, all she needs to do is say
she is sorry and thereby let go of the rope.
But then what happens?
Well, sometimes couples find a new, better
way of relating to each other and live blissfully ever after. Or, they break up.
Enter Betsy again, just a few weeks after
her second successful mea culpa. I encouraged her to keep it up and apologize early and
often. I urged her not to wait until she was
shown the door to say she was sorry. At the
first hint of disharmony she should let 'er rip.
She took my adviceand sprinted with it. She
was a changed woman-all smiles and all business. You would never know that she had been
a woman possessed by dyke drama.
I was her savior and she couldn't thank me
enough ... until she got dumped.
It happened quite suddenly. Betsy dropped
by her lover's place with some flowers and
her girlfriend told her that it was over, as she
calmly arranged the stems. She told Betsy
that the passion was gone and that their relationship was stagnant. She was bored and she
needed to be stimulated and engaged.
"But fighting isn't stimulating or engaging,"
I told Betsy, attempting to help her understand. Sometimes there is more drama than
there is relationship. Once the drama is gone,
there is just a big empty space where the
relationship is supposed to go, or once was
or should have been. In any case, many couples find that filling the space with anything
positive or productive is just too much work.
Now, I told her, she was free to find a loving
and respectful situation.
But Betsy didn't want to hear it. All she
knew was that she used to have a girlfriend,
and now she didn't. She was more depressed
than ever, and my previously supportive
co-workers elected me jerk of the month.
In the end, all I could do was apologize.
"Save it for your girlfriend;' Betsy growled. ■
THANKSALSO
TOOUR
PARTNERS
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POLITICS
Where Are We Now?
What Pride means to the lesbian community 40 years after Stonewall. By Victoria A. Brownworth
Every June, queers revisit the same question:
What is the meaning of Pride?
Our perspective on LGBT Pride has
changed dramatically over the 40 years since
the Stonewall Rebellion. Even the addition of
the L, B and T represents significant change
from the early days of the "gay"movement.
In 1969, simply being out was a frightening prospect with myriad repercussions
and dangers. The majority of lesbians and
gay men stayed in the closet, living in fear of
being exposed, losing their jobs and family
and even going to prison.
But in 2009, although full LGBT civil
man, Jeffrey Crowley, to head the Office of
National AIDS Policy.
After four decades of political action,
queers have arrived. Sort of.
When we look at where we were then
and where we are now, the change seems
seismic. We've gone from being unable to
even dance together legally in gay bars to
being able to marry legally in Massachusetts,
Connecticut, Iowa and Vermont. The history of our movement seems to have evolved
remarkably quickly.
The Stonewall Rebellion brought us into
the daylight. It was our Rosa Parks moment.
rights have yet to be achieved, the closet door
is wide open. Only Republicans like Mark
Foley and evangelicals like Ted Haggard still
seem to be closeted.
Discrimination against LGBT Americans
is still rife, but being queer is no longer something that most queers feel they need to hide.
Thus, Pride has taken a very different turn
40 years after Stonewall. Ellen DeGeneres
is a spokesmodel for Cover Girl. Wanda
Sykes and Rosie O'Donnell talk about their
marriages on TV. Rachel Maddow interviews important figures like the speaker of
the House on her MSNBC news program.
President Obama named an openly gay
Afterward, we refused to go back into the
shadows, where straight people wanted us.
Many of us thought that our newly discovered visibility would be enough. It was
presumed that if straight people knew how
many queers were in their lives-including
their family and friends-they wouldn't continue their discrimination and persecution.
Yet for some, seeing queers become so visible just made their hatred and bigotry more
intense. Even as people voted against racism
by voting for Barack Obama, they voted for
homophobia with California's -Proposition
8 and the other anti-gay marriage ballot
measures that passed last year. Forty years
32
Icurve
after Stonewall, the disconnect is still there.
Images of lesbians and gay men in mainstr~am culture have evolved since Stonewall.
Previously, we were portrayed in simplistic
stereotypes-the
flaming nellie queen and
the butch bull dyke. As our visibility broadened, we started to look more like mainstream America. We're no longer marginal
creatures. Now we're the people next door.
This evolution confuses straight people
even more than the stereotypes did. Or so
it seems. The identities that close-minded
straight people have always wanted queers
to assume no longer fit. Demonizing us is
harder now that we look so
much like them.
Still, civil rights struggles
engender fear in the straight
majority, because if the
queer minority acquires
equal rights, it poses a threat.
In the battle for marriage
equality, for example, the
opposition argues that equal
rights for same-sex couples
will somehow destroy marriage for straight couples.
Yet no one can explain how
that would happen, particularly since one in two heterosexual marriages in the
United States already ends
in divorce.
Society seems to be struggling with how
to portray LGBT people. The reflections we
see in popular culture are not representative of who we are. Lesbians like Callie on
Greys Anatomy, Bianca and Reese on All
My Children and Shane on TheL Word are
still presented as omnisexual people who
have a predilection for straight women and
who also have casual sex with men. Reality
shows like A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila
and TheReal World present lesbians as either
hypersexual or extremely unstable, or both.
And the need to marginalize queers as crea- ~
CD,
tures who are driven by sexual demons and a:
~
focused solely on sexuality at the expense of a.
x
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~
~
~
~
~
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all else has been stoked by scandals involving
closeted queers like Haggard and Foley.
The truth is, 40 years after Stonewall, we
queers are still seeking our own identities,
which are as varied as those of our straight
counterparts. But, as we struggle for equality,
our own sense of identity is becoming harder
to pin down at the very time when we need
to be able to unite around it. Who are we
really? What does Pride stand for in an era
of openness?
Pride now seems synonymous with a simple declaration: We're here, were queer. But
our tribute to the legacy of Stonewall also has
to be political consciousness and a commitment to political and social change. Each of
us in the LGBT community must stand for
equality and demand more than just lipservice and tolerance.
Forty years ago, it was enough of a statement to come out, because coming out was
life-altering and even life-threatening. And,
while that remains true in many parts of the
world, in the United States tolerance has
given us a the space to live our lives mostly
fear-free.
But that is not enough anymore. Today's
movement requires a level of action that
supersedes that of 40 or even 10 years ago.
We are, as were those who made Stonewall
happen, on the cusp of a tectonic shift
in political consciousness and we cannot
be ignorant of that impending change.
We have to nurture it and that requires
a commitment.
We need to be prideful, by which I
mean that we need to demand equality.
Once, it was enough to merely take that seat
on the bus-to be seen sitting, rather than
slinking to the back. But today we must
demand much more-integration,
instead
of segregation.
In 2009, at this pivotal 40-year anniversary of the birth of our modern civil rights
movement, we need to come out, speak out
and demand the changes that will allow us
to become first-class citizens with the same
rights and privileges as other Americans.
We deserve no less, we must demand no
less. That's the fundamental message of
Pride: We care enough about ourselves and
our community to want more than mere
tolerance or grudging acceptance. We want
equality. We're 40 years overdue. ■
News Notes
GayMarriageBattlesin NewEngland
Aswe goto presstherearebills being
debatedin NewHampshire
andMainethat
wouldlegalizesame-sexmarriage,while
Vermontbecamethefourthstate,afterIowa,
to legalizesame-sexmarriage.
Theoutlook
for the bills lookspositivein the legislatures,
butthe governors
of the two stateshave
saidthey'dvetothemif passed.
Shooting
OutsideLesbianClub
A shootingoutsidea Baltimorelesbian
clubin Marchleft two womeninjured
andonedead.SharoneNewton,34,the
allegedshooter,hadan argumentinsidethe
Coconuts
Cafewhena womanbumpedher
onthe dancefloor.Afterthe clubclosed,
Newtonreturned,struckthe womanshe
hadbeenfightingwith earlier,thenfired into
the crowd.Newtonhasbeenchargedwith
first-degreemurder.
President
ObamaAppoints
LesbianChiefJudge
PresidentObamahasappointedlesbian
attorneyEmilyC.Hewittasthe chiefjudge
of the U.S.Courtof FederalClaims.Hewitt,
whois alsoanordainedEpiscopal
priest,
hasservedonthe U.S.Courtof Federal
Claimssince1998.
NewIVFLawin the U.K.
Expands
LesbianRights
Asof April6, lesbian
couplesin the United
KingdomwhoconceivethroughIVFwill
automatically
be named
onthe child'sbirthcertificate.Thereare
currentlyninestatesin the UnitedStates
that will allowsame-sexcouplesto have
bothmothersor fatherslistedonthe birth
certificate:California,
Connecticut,
Illinois,
Massachusetts,
NewJersey,New
York,Pennsylvania,
Vermontand
the Districtof Columbia.
LesbianTeenSues
to WearTuxto Prom
AnunnamedIndiana
highschoolsenior,
alongwith the
ACLU,
fileda suit
againstIndiana's
LebanonHigh
Schoolafterthe principaltoldhershecould
notweara tuxedoto herprom.Thefrisky.
comreportedthat,"theteen... believes
wearinga dressconveysa sexualidentity
sherejects."Sincethesuitwasfiled,the
schoolhasagreedto changeits dresscode
policy,temporarily.
AndreaShorter
JoinsEQCA
Equality
Californiahired
AndreaShorter
(right)as its
newcoalition
coordinator.
Shorter,whoco-founded
AndMarriagefor
All,a groupof AfricanAmericanleaders
workingto createa dialogueregarding
same-sexmarriage,hasbeenbrought
onboardat EQCA
to buildpartnerships
amongCalifornia'sLGBTorganizations.
Workers,Students
andUnion
ProtestAnti-Lesbian
Comment
An anti-lesbiantauntbya Harvard
Universitydininghallmanagerhasspurred
protestbyworkers,studentsandthe UNITEHERE
Local26 union,whoworerainbow
ribbonsin solidaritywith two womenwhom
a managercalled"lesbians"in an effortto
intimidateandinsultthem.
Senator'sAnti-GayRant
GetsHimNowhere
Colorado
Sen.ScottRenfroelet loosea sixminuteanti-gayrantin anattemptto block
legislationintroducedbyJenniferVeiga,
whois Colorado's
first openlygaysenator.
Thebill allowsemployees
to sharemedical
benefitswith same-sexpartners."Wehave
murder,we haveall sortsof sin.Wehave
adultery.Andwe don'tmakelawsmaking
thoselegal,"Renfroespouted.Fortunately,
his hate-inflatedbreathwaswasted,and
the bill passed.
U.S.Supports
U.N.GayMeasure
TheU.S.StateDepartment
reversedits originalposition
anddeclaredits supportfor
a UnitedNationsmeasure
that callsfor worldwide
decriminalizationof homosexuality.[RachelShatto]
June 2009
I33
She soon joined the state team, and a year later she won a
state title. In the following years she had what she calls "pretty
good results;' including second in the world for juniors.
Although she's had a boyfriend, she says,"It never really felt
right;' and she preferred spending time with women. "I was
hanging around the girls who were openly gay. I didn't have
a problem with that, even when I didn't think I was gay, but I
had a girl come up to me and say,'You really shouldn't be hang~
ing out with them: I felt like, 'Who are you to tell me who to
hang with? Who cares if they're gay?' But you know what? It's
true, There's a big risk in being yourself as a professional surfer,
and coming out:'
By the age of 18, the risk became real for her. Though this
article is the first time she's come out publicly, Donohoe came
out of the closet when she fell in love with another surfer and
refused to hide her orientation. "Everyone knows I'm gay;'
Donohoe says."It's no big secret and never has been:'
However, other surfers and sponsors were less than
accepting. At 21, she qualified to join the world tour, which is
made up of the best 16 women surfers in the world. Although
she loved going pro, she says, "I was becoming isolated on the
tour. A lot of the girls didn't want to be associated with me.
Back then, if I was hanging out with
one of the girls, it [was taken to mean]
we were sleeping together. There was
a stigma, and I felt really lonely. I was
living on the road nine months a year,
surrounded by homophobia. My girl~
friend was back home [in Sydney]. I
did bad that year-my results that
year showed where I was at mentally.
'i\t that time, a lot of girls were mak~
ing a lot of money off surfing, through
sponsorship. One of the main reasons
was they were the typical surfer-long blond hair, blue eyesand they were straight:' But, Donohoe says, she was the only
openly lesbian surfer who was "visually" identifiable as queer.
"I had a sponsor ... but they dropped me because I shaved my
head.
"Back then, surfing was trying to disassociate itself with
anyone being gay on tour. It's a business, you know? Even now,
why am I not sponsored? Because none of the surf companies
are going to sponsor me, purely because I'm (visually] gaY:'
According to the Association of Surfing Professionals web~
site, the 15 other women on tour have at least one sponsor, and
most have several. Typically, surf~gear manufacturers such as
Billabong, Roxy and Quiksilver ask surfers to sign a contract
agreeing to wear their clothes, use their equipment, do photo
shoots for catalogs and-above
all-maintain
an image.
In return, the salary can be well into six figures, plus travel
expenses. Donohoe explains,"The girls ahead of me and a good
20 behind me would be making some good solid dollars:'
Donohoe's last sponsor check came in 2002. "I knew the
price I was going to pay in coming out, but I had a lot of pride,
and I always wanted to be true to myself:' Currently without
a sponsor, but ranked No. 9 and surfing in the Association
of Surfing Professionals Women's World Tour, Donohoe pays
her own way using the income she wins.'Tm not earning any
profit, but just covering my travel to get to the next event:'
Is she bitter about surfing next to people earning 10 times
what she makes? "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard to swal~
low at times-not
about them personally, because they're
great people. But as an athlete, I have to look around and go,
'Why?' It's not really fair. I'm at the top of my game, and I'm
dedicating my life to this sport. Why should (being gay] be
such an issue?
"The surf industry is never, ever going to come out and
say it's because of my sexuality, but I've approached a cou~
ple of companies and I just get, 'No, no, I'm
sorry: I think they don't want their company
associated with that image. They want surf~
ies to have a real feminine look, and I don't.
I don't have a real extreme butch look, but I
don't have the long blond hair, and I'm not
going to surf in a bikini (just] because tits
and ass are going to sell. I'm comfortable in
a pair of boardies, so that's what I'm going
to wear:'
What advice would she give a young queer
surfer? 'i\t the end of the day, it's really good
to be honest. If you do want to come out,
you're not going to walk the easy road. But
it's like with anyone who comes out-there
are people who will leave your life, but some~
thing even bigger and better comes along.
You're going to learn from it.
"I don't take anything for granted anymore.
That feeling of insecurity I had, when I was
a:
younger, about being queer-I don't have that ~
~
anymore. I'm in a good place and it shows in I::;
<(
my results. I'm loving what I'm doing:' ■
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IDGREATERMIAMI CONVENTION & VISITORS BUREAU
YOURSELF
EBRUARY,All My Children made history when
aytime soap's wildly popular lesbian heroine Bianca
ontgomery, played by actor Eden Riegel, walked down the
aisle with her lady love, Reese ( General Hospital alum Tamara
Braun). As is often the case on soaps, Reese and Bianca's happiness didn't last long. Bianca annulled daytime's first samesex union after learning her new wife had been caught making
out with her brother-in-law Zach (Thorsten Kaye), the day
before the wedding. Fans immediately took to online message
boards, furious that once· again their beloved Binks was going to be denied her happily-ever-after. Hadn't Bianca been
through enough? There was her battle with anorexia, the gay
bashing, a rocky relationship with her initially disapproving
mother, Erica Kane (played by soap legend Susan Lucci), a
rape, a tornado and, most grievous, the fact that almost all of
Bianca's love interests couldn't seem to figure out if they liked
girls or boys. Now, after her most recent dramatic exit from
the fictional Pine Valley,Riegel talks sexuality on daytime TV,
reveals how playing Bianca helped her get closer to her lesbian
sister and answers the question legions of All My Children fans
are dying to know: Will Bianca ever be lucky in love?
I did ... I was working at the White House as an intern that
summer. When I got the job, [the producer at the time) said,
"We really need to talk to you. We'd like for you to fly to New
York so we can talk to you in person and let you know what's
going to happen with the character, because it's going to be
pretty controversial:' And I was like,"OK ... " So, I flew to New
York and met with her, and she told me the whole story from
the beginning, and then she got to sort of the climax moment
and told me that my character was going to be gay. I just sat
there waiting for the controversial part!
Shethoughtyoumighthavean issuewithplayinggay?
I think they expected some kind of response from me, but they
weren't aware that I had grown up in show business and that
my sister, Tatiana, is a lesbian. So, I was totally just fine with
Bianca being gay.
Wereyouat all concerned
aboutbecoming
a rolemodelforLGBT
viewers?
I really didn't know the story was going to be all that groundbreaking. I didn't know daytime had never tackled this issue
before. Then I learned that in the past there had been gay char0
acters, but this was Erica Kane's daughter, for heaven's sake! ~
c5
Bianca wasn't a character that they could just sweep under the ~
0
YoujoinedAll My Children
in 2000,butbeforeBiancacameout mg if the story line didn't go well.
8
as a lesbian.Didyouknowgoingin thatyou'dbe playinga gay The one thing I was concerned about, when I was first told the a?
:::>
character would be gay,was that I knew on soap operas, people g
character?
38
I curve
come back from the dead and they have over-the-top affairs,
so I just didn't want to do it if it was going to be sensationalized-if it was just sort of going to be titillating, or for shock
value, I didn't want to do that. This was a story that was really
important to me, because of my sister, and to All My Children's
creator, Agnes Nixon, who was writing it. Agnes wanted to tell
a beautiful tale that people would be invested in, and everyone
involved wanted to make sure the coming out story was told
with respect-and it absolutely was.
Didyoupickyoursister'sbrainon howto playa lesbiancharacterauthentically?
Yeah, I did. It was a great thing for our relationship. Even when
you are very close to someone, there are things that maybe you
don't talk about in the depths that you should. In our day-today lives as sisters, before I got the part, I don't know that I had
ever really asked her about her corning out story, or when she
first knew that she was gay, because
Tatiana is quite a bit older than me.
As for any advice she has given
me, she has just always encouraged
me to come up with my own interpretation for Bianca, and that nothing I would do would be wrong,
because I was only telling this one
person's story, and every gay person's
experience was different. She made
me feel like I didn't have to worry
about letting the entire community
down, and that was a huge relie£ I
did ask her a lot of stupid questions
early on, like "Would a lesbian do
this?" or "Would a lesbian say that?"
or "Would a lesbian wear this?" and
she basically told me a lesbian is no
different from anybody else.
A lot of Bianca'sfans and critics
havegottenupsetovertheyearswith
someof theperceived
victimization
thecharacter
hasendured.
Wasit hardforyouto playstorylineslikeBianca's
rape?
The rape was tough for me at the time. As an actress, I was
thrilled because I was going to have such meaty, dramatic
material to play, but I was also really nervous. GLAAD, who
had been so supportive of Bianca all along, issued a statement saying they weren't supporting the rape story line, but,
I should note, they later retracted that statement and said
they felt the story was told in a tasteful way. It wasn't just
0
?;
about "raping a lesbian:' You know, there is no way around it,
c5
~ Bianca is a representative to a community, so the show had
ffi to be careful, but ultimately I heard from so many women
~ who told me that watching Bianca go through her pain
helped th.em go through their own pain. Rape is something
~ that can happen to any woman: gay or straight. One in five
5
women experience being raped. Plus, it gave Bianca a daughter, Miranda, and led to the soap opera's audience demanding
that Bianca, a lesbian, be reunited with her daughter when
Miranda was kidnapped. During a time when gay adoption
was so controversial, and still is, soap fans wanted this lesbian character to have the chance to be a mother to her baby.
So, good came from Bianca's tragedy.
A lotoffanshavealsobeenfrustrated
byhowBianca's
lovelife
hasplayedout.Willwe everseeBiancahappy?
Yes,there will be a happy ending for Reese and Bianca. I think
it was amazing that this time around, with Tamara Braun,
who played Reese, we were given total freedom to show the
characters being as intimate as we wanted. We could kiss
and unbutton each other's
blouses and be in bed
together. Nothing had to
be scripted, so that is definitely a positive. Like any
soap heroine, Bianca has
had a lot of tragedy. But,
you know, happiness is the kiss of death on soap operas!
You'vehadnotableachievements
apartfromAll My Children.
Imaginary
Bitches,
theYouTube
dramedy
youstarredin,hashad
over6 millionhits,andyourmovieThe YearOne,whichstars
JackBlack,comesout this summer.
As youfind moremainstreamsuccess,
will youkeepreturning
to yoursoapstomping
grounds
forvisits?
Absolutely. I will always go back to All My Children.They gave
me my start, and Bianca's fans have been amazing. They' re the
reason ImaginaryBitcheswas such a success, so All My Children
will always be home for me. ■
June 2009
I39
aa
The originalcyborg superherostill knows
how to melt our hearts.9YAimsel L. Ponti
40 I curve
consciousness."We feel that what we do
is so insignificant.We have no idea that
every act of kindness, every time we take
responsibility for our feelings instead of
blaming somebody elae... every time we
make somebody else feel good, we are
feeding the collective. We are not just
doing (it]... for that one person.•
I ask Wagner about her level of ful6.llment withthe workshedoes and the programs she runs. Whileit has beena huge
shift from her lifein front of the camera,
she says getting face-to•.facewith people
has made her feel more like herself than
she did trying to makean impact as an
actor. "'This is just me-any insecurity
that I mightstill have about how I'm seen,
rather than just beingOK with who I am,
mysel£-[the workshops are) forcing me
to go to another level with that, because
there's nothing in front of me. There's no
script, there's no story, there's no fabrication. It's just me going, 'Here I am, and
here's what I feel: And I just have this
impulse to share it with people,"she says.
"h's mor~ of.. ·• calling,I guessyoucl say,
because I feel that its something bigger
wasmanifesting
itselfphysically.
"I think that'sthe answer to everything, than me that's pwikingme.•
Wagner and I end this enlightening
myself.
.. [but) the last thing I want is fur
peopleto go awayfeelingguiltythat they're conversationon a bionic note when I ask
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about communication, for me; she says.
"I studied acting when I was a kid, not
because I was interested,but becausethese
people that I used to babysit for [Dukesof
Hazzardstar James Best] saw that I had a
pretty tumultuous familylife and ... that I
needed some kind of an outlet:'
As Wagner polishedher craft-she went
on to win an Emmy for her work on The
Bionic Woman in 1976-she learned the
bys to goodacting."H you havejudgments
about a certain type of person you have to
pla~ you cannot play them. Youcan act, but
you cant honestly play that person through
and through,"she explains."If you'replaying
a prostitute and youjudge prostitutes, or if
you'replaying a lesbianand you havejudgments about lesbians,youa better get over
that befureyou start playingthe role."
Wagnerwas iflspiredto shiftfromacting
to helpingothersafrershe experienced
sevttal
yearsof bad health, includingan ulcer.Her
stomach problemsbeganwhenshe was 14
and hit their peak when she was 20. Now,at
60 yearsold, Wagner'stake on it is that her
illnessWU causedby emotional pain that
Florence Henderson
might be campy,
but she's also hot.
By Kelli Dunham
fl'h~ Wo11111n
Who got ma
9,11dgt1 in 11§Rn~h
I was raised by stoic Wisconsin farm people who taught me many important life skills: how
to hoe beets, use a chainsaw at age 10 and (consequently) how to say,"Oh, it's barely bleeding
at all;' in both German and English. And, while my life experiences include both drinking
warm milk directly from the cow and accidentally driving a tractor into a brick wall ("It's
barely bleeding at all;' came in handy once again), watching TV was not really part of my
family-togetherness experience.
Therefore, my ignorance of pop culture is legendary: I only recently discovered that
the Carpenters covered the Beatles' Ticket to Ride and not the other way around. My best
pal says that being friends with me is like being friends with an exchange student.
But ask me any question about The Brady Bunch and I'll have a response faster than
you can say "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia:• The reason? Carol Brady.
After I caught my first glimpse of America's favorite TV mom, I began creating elaborate
schemes to be at a friend's house at 8 p.m. on Tuesdays, when Mrs. Brady would appear in all
her groovy polyester glory.
I wanted her to hit my arm and say,"Oh, Mike:' I wanted her to hand me my lunch bag
with a smile. I wanted her to kiss me passionately in the kitchen and the den, and on a camping trip, and at the Grand Canyon and, of course, in bed-even if we were both completely
clothed in multiple pajama-and-bathrobe layers.
I should have known there was something amiss with my alleged heterosexuality when I
kissed my first boyfriend and had to imagine Carol Brady in her jumpsuit to feign interest.
Yet it would be nearly a lifetime before I came out, with some random steps (attending Bible
college, being a nun) in between.
Fast-forward to 2009. I was watching Broadway I wanted her to hit
Backwards,the New York Community Center's genmy arm and say,
der-bending theater fundraiser. Onstage, mere feet
"Oh, Mike." I anted
away, was Florence Henderson. She was perfectly
coiffed, perfectly in step and perfectly hot. She belted
her to hand me
out "There Is Nothing Like a Dame;' grabbed the
my lunch bag with
crotch of one the queeniest chorus boys and shared
a smile. I wante
a no-less-than-20-second, open-mouthed kiss with
one of her female backup singers.
her to kiss me
Later, the master of ceremonies led the audience
passionately in the
in a chorus of "Happy Birthday" for Henderson,
kitchen and the den,
who, as it turns out, was celebrating her 75th that
very week.
and on a camping
The man sitting next to me whispered, "I hope
trip, and at the
I'm grabbing the crotch of chorus boys when I'm 75:'
Grand Canyon and,
Nodding in agreement, I realized I not only wanted
of c urse, in bed.
to do Florence Henderson- I wanted to be her. ■
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The animated couples you never knew you always wanted. By Rachel Shatto
TURANGA
LEELA
& AMYWONG:
Seeing
the ladiesof Futurama,
LeelaandAmy
(akaGynecaladriel,
queenof thewater
nymphos)
makingoutin
Bender'sGamesheda
new,rainbow-colored
light
onwhyFryhadso much
troublegettingintoLeela's
spacepants.
LISASIMPSON
& PEPPERMINT
PAm: Lisa,the vegetarian
feminist
andfuturelesbianintelligentsia,
andjersey-sporting
softballlesbo
peanutPeppermint
Pattyare
thecutestbabydyke
couple-ever.
MEGGRIFFIN
& DARIA:
Lesbianlove
discovered
in teenagesocial
exilebetweenthe FamilyGuy
outcastandMTV'sdisarmingly
~~==- .. bespeckled
misanthrope.
LARA
CROFT
& JADE:TombRaidersuberfemmeneedsa womanwhocankeepup
withheron heradventures
throughexoticand
mysticallocales,andBeyondGoodandEvil's
foxytomboyJade,a photojournalistwhoisn't
afraidto takeonthealienhordes,isjustthegirl
for thejob.
DR.GIRLFRIEND
& NATASHA
FATALE:
Stuckin dead-end
relationships
withincompetentsupervillains,TheVenture
Bros.'Dr.
Girlfriend
andRockyandBullwinkle
nemesis,
Natasha
Fatale,
cometogether
to commiserate,andstayto cohabitate.
CASEY
LYNCH
& JEM:It's all
beautifulmusicfor Guitar
Hero-ine
CaseyLynchand
'80scartoonrockstar
Jem,whomakea truly,truly
outrageous
couple.
coupleof smokinghotzombie
Resident
Evilhotties'passion
f
thegrotesquely
undead
is onlyrivaledbytheir
passionfor oneanother.
ZARANA
& TANK
GIRL:
G.I.Joevillainess
Zaranaandcomichero
TankGirlaretwoAussie
bad-asses
whoknowtheir
heavyartillery,andbringt
Under--if youknowwha
WONDER
WOMAN
&
SHE-RA:
AnAmazon
queenfromanallfemaleislandand
He-mans'princess
of
powersister,bothwith
anaffinityfor fierce
boots-needI goon?
CATWOMAN
& CHEETARA:
DCComics'CatWomanand
Thundercafs
bowstaff-sporting
Cheetara
maybeondifferent
sidesof the lawbutthey'llcurl
uptogetherin theend-come
on,they'rethe purr-feetcouple.
~
:E
~
a:
UJ
...J
...J
ROSIE
THEROBOT
& ARCEE:
Whensheisn'tspiffingupthe
Jetson'sfuturisticspace
padRosiespendsher
(powered)
downtime
with
the Transformer's
hottest
AutobotArcee.Because
robo-dykes
needlove,too.
VELMA
& DAPHNE:
Something
keptthe
mysterymachine
rocking,andit
wasn'tFredin his
ridiculous
orangeascot.
UJ
~
i
d.
RUBBLE:
Friends,
neighbors
andsecretlovers-these
prehistoric
lesbosrockthe
bedrockandkeepusin
theirneandra-thrall.
n
FAI & SPIDER-GIRL:
A rooftopromance
betw
contraband
parkour
deliverymaven,Mirrors
andMarvelcomic'ssexb
andyes,theyareswingers.
SAMUS
& FAYE
VALENTINE:
Metroid's
SamusandCowboy
Bebop'sanime
it-girlFayeValentine
arejusta couple
of star-crossed
spacebountyhunters
whoselovefor oneanotheris-wait for
it-out of thisworld!
cosmetics spokesperson and the gay
marriage debate is sweeping the
nation - but are these the victories
we should be fighting for?
By Stephanie Schroeder
HELATE
DELMARTIN,
a pioneer of the modern lesbian rights movement, was able to legally marry Phyllis
Lyon, her partner of 55 years, in 2008. Was that marriage a hard-won right or just a sliver of a piece of the
mainstream pie aimed at keeping lesbians happy-at
least momentarily:' Radical queer activists smell elitism in
the right to marry. There is a current backlash-or
rather
increased forward movement-among radical queer and antiassimilationist lesbian activists to ensure rights for all, not just
a privileged few.
Though marriage is at the forefront of what straight society
sees lesbians fighting for, some lesbians don't think it's really all
that it's cracked up to be. "State-sanctioned marriage separates
people and values certain kinds of relationships over others;'
says Aliza Shapiro, a Boston-based producer, performer and
artist. Shapiro's Truth Serum Productions presents events
that often push the boundaries of sexuality, gender, the personal and political.
'Td like to see queers fight for abolishment of all statesanctioned marriage. Acceptance into the mainstream isn't
my endgame. You want to have a ceremony and contractsgreat, but why should couples get tax breaks along with the
reaking Out
KitchenAid:"' Shapiro asks. "The thing that separates us from
heterosexuals is the sex we have. People have forgotten that
up until 2003 our sex was illegal. Our sexual expression,
especially if it includes bondage and discipline or S/M, which
it often does, can still get us into a heap of trouble. I get that
there are people who want to fight for mainstream privileges.
But that fight continues to leave people behind, and that gets
under my skin:'
Self-identified as a black lesbian feminist poet-warrior, the
lat;).udre Lorde wrote in her 1984 essay addressing black
lesbian feminist concerns about white feminism, "It is learning
how to take our diff~rences and make them strengths. For the
master's tools will never dismantle the master's house. They
may allow us temporarily to beat him at his own game, but
44 I curve
~~
~
~
they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. And
this fact is only threatening to those women who still define
the master's house as their only source of support:'
Mainstream gaydom vs. radical queerness is not so much
about labels as a commitment to social justice in our own
backyard. Lorde's statement resonates today for radical queer
activists who say it's really all about helping out, thinking
about and fighting for people who don't look like you, think
like you or act like you. A radical queer, anti-assimilationist
element has existed in the lesbian community at least since
Stonewall. In fact, it was the original lesbian and gay movement that fought against a white-collar, corporate ethic that
was willing to support only the simplest reforms. Reform
politics are sneaky and insidious, says Gina de Vries, a selfdescribed queer femme writer, rabble-rouser and sex worker
who also penned the Hey! Baby column for curve from
1997 to 2004. According to her, reform politics tend to give a
small portion of the community access to mainstream privilege,
creating a gay elite, rather than addressing true disenfranchisement in society.
"It's the upper echelons of the gay population-primarily
male, but not completely, mostly white, upper-middle-class,
with access to higher education, healthcare, high-level jobs and
all types of privilege-who are clamoring for the same rights
as the mainstream;' says de Vries."! see the gay struggle more
in terms of survival. If the only way we can obtain healthcare
is through marriage, that is wrong. I don't begrudge lesbians
who do marry to obtain healthcare and work the system and
make choices perhaps not otherwise made, for survival's sake.
But, we are worthy of more than survival. It's as if those queers
lucky enough to have well payingjobs with good health insurance are saying, 'Well, I have my privilege, so I don't need to
worry about those who can't get adequate healthcare or a
decent living-wage job or access to education:"
There is a whole section of the mainstream LGBT movement, such as the ubiquitous Human Rights Campaign, that
activists who have been around forever;' says de Vries."For me
the marriage part is very complicated. A lot of it arises around
the separation of church and state. It can be very spiritual and
romantic and I like seeing the expression and celebration of
love between two women, but having the state in bed with us
strikes me as very strange:'
According to younger radical queer activists, there's a
myopic focus on "me first" politics within today's lesbian community, with women focusing only on issues that affect them as
individuals, rather than on a broader agenda of social justice.
One such activist is Deeg, who is a longtime member of
LAGAI: Queer Insurrection, a radical lesbian group focused
on wide-ranging grassroots initiatives such as agitating against
United States intervention abroad and against lesbian assimilation. The group uses direct action such as guerilla theater
and satire, and also publishes the newsletter Ultra Violet,
which "highlights the invisible fringe of the rainbow:' LAG AI
looks through the lens of a revolutionary analysis of class,
race, "ownership of children'' and other historically mainstream constructs that have prevented lesbians from gaining
true respect, acceptance and access to society-not simply the
tolerance of mainstream reformism. The group, like most radical queers, is anti-capitalist and works against the patriarchal
systems that continue to persist in our society.
"Since lesbians in general have been pushed out of the constituency of the gay agenda, now more than ever we need to
put lesbian identity forth as a cherished one in the community;' asserts Deeg. "It's a different thing altogether to fight for
rights than to fight for liberation:' Of the work she and the
other members of LAG AI do, Deeg says, "We are creating a
vision that will make it better for all of us, not just a small portion of us. And that is what this revolution is all about-the
40-hour work week at a dead-end job just keeps us all busy
and not fighting for what we deserve. Owning children and
the fake lesbian nuclear family is a deteriorated vision; instead
we want freedom. We don't want to be the same as straight
.•..
of the Mainstrea
.,,..
projects an image of itself as the voice of the queer movement. But radical feminists don't recognize the spirit of the
queer movement in mainstream organizing, in which goal is
to gain access to institutions that lesbians in the '70s originally wanted to demolish. "We sought to completely dismantle
marriage and the military-industrial
complex, not gain
access to them;' says Joan E. Biren, who was activist in the
early lesbian feminist movement. "Liberation, as opposed to
rights, meant remaking society to be better for everyone, not
just 'gays'getting a fair share of the status quo:'
"To say there is a backlash against the mainstreaming of
gayness makes radical queers sound like a new phenomenon,
as if we are outsiders coming in from the outside rather than
.
.,.,
society. We're not the same, so let's stop pretending we are:' ~ •: ·',./ 'V
1
Radical activists agree that more lesbians need to step out,' • '- \
side of our comfort zone and look at those who are unlike us
in the community. Individuals who dress differently, who are
of different ages, races and levels of social and physical mobility,
and have divergent identifications across the LGBT spectrum.
"It's really not an either-or situation;' says de Vries."It's a matter oflife and death for those merely subsisting while so many
of their lesbian and gay counterparts revel in their little
cocoons. And the gap between the gay elite and those people
of all persuasions who have little or nothing is growing. No
one in the community can justify sitting on the sidelines
doing nothing. That is not an option:' ■
June 2009
_-.
I45
rr
•
46
Icurve
HEN FIRSTOPENED,
Time Out New York
described In Heat, in the "Gay" section of the
magazine, as follows:
"In Lisa Haas' comedy, a 50-year-old lesbian is
dismayed at the state of the community, whose numbers are
dwindling in an increasingly trans and genderqueer world:'
This is somewhat ironic, considering that is was a 2008
cover story in Time Out entitled "What Is Gay Culture?" that
inspired Haas to write In Heat, a play about the disappearance of authentic lesbian culture. In Heat is, in fact, a hilarious
sendup of lesbian stereotypes and the concerns in the lesbian
community about trans (and oh-so-many other) issues.
But the reality for Haas, an award-winning performer, playwright and monologist, is no laughing matter. "When I read
that Time Out article, around the same time the Village Voice
published a piece about trans men dominating the queer scene
in New York City, I just felt like someone had blown out my
candle, like being a lesbian wasn't good enough anymore:'
Haas says her struggle to come out and find a community
seemed completely squashed when she read those articles. For
a fortysomething lesbian who came out in the Denver suburbs
before moving to New York City, the idea that lesbianism itself
might become obsolete was terrifying.
In Heat is only one of Haas' many artistic endeavors with
the director Jocelyn Sawyer. Other staples of her repertoire are
Crown Hill Cemetery, about growing up near a graveyard, and
Stacked: A Deviant Doctoral Dissertation (directed by James
McLaughlin), featuring a jacked-up Ph.D. student who uses
her research to pick up women.
In the play In Heat, Doris, a somewhat self-righteous
middle-aged lesbian, has started an organization called
the Self-Identified Lesbian Center (SILC). The show is an
engaging dialogue with both the live audience and the invisible viewers of the cable access program Doris is taping to
promote SILC.
The character is a stern, schoolteacher type who has a
matronly soft spot for her lesbian sisters in need and who, in
spite of her outdated hairdo, frumpy clothes and extremely
sensible shoes, exudes a certain subtle sexual power.
Doris' hilarious monologue and the advice she dispenses
throughout the play in a stream-of-consciousness manner
seem to spring from a very real fear that lesbians will become
obsolete. She laments early in the show that SILC will become
"a cultural hospice for the last of the lesbians, who will be
dying off in the next 30 years:'
The issue the Time Out article highlighted, according to
Haas, is that"there were names for every type of queer-boi,
trans man, bisexual, genderqueer, tranny fag-but there was
not-one mention of lesbians:'
"Twenty years ago I was afraid to say I was a lesbian;' says
the 44-year-old playwright, "and 20 years later I'm embarrassed to call myself a lesbian. I mean, that is my teenage self
talking ... the lesbian who missed adolescence while struggling
with [her] sexuality. My inner teen feels very left our:' ■
z
~
~
~
z
~
•
•
N TWOHISTORIC
STEPSforward for civil rights, Iowa and
Vermont both legalized same-sex marriage in the first week
of April. Iowa's Supreme Court ruled unanimously that the
state's ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional on
April 3. Vermont's Legislature overturned the governor's
veto on a bill legalizing same-sex marriage on April 7, making
the state the first to legalize gay marriage by legislation rather
than court ruling.
The back-to-back victories were surprisingly decisive,
despite each state's previous moves toward legalizing
same-sex unions. An Iowa judge ruled the state's ban on
same-sex marriage unconstitutional in 2007, but added that
the Supreme Court should have a chance to consider the
issue before marriage licenses were issued, a decision that led
to the higher court's April 3 ruling. In 2000, Vermont became
the first state to legalize civil unions for same-sex couples.
"This is a week in which the country turned another corner
[for LGBT rights J;'says Jenny Pizer, director of the Marriage
Project at Lambda Legal, the organization that litigated the
Iowa case.
A victory in a Midwestern state is a significant step in
persuading Americans that same-sex marriage isn't an
ultra-progressive issue, Pizer adds. "It is the heartland. No
one thinks of Iowa as a crazy, left-wing place:'
Unlike the heartbreakingly brief legalization of same-sex
marriage in California, same-sex marriage in Vermont and
Iowa is expected to stand.
According to Molly McKay, national media director of
Marriage Equality USA, California's Proposition 8 was the
last opportunity the religious right will have to strip us of
our marriage rights. She says the ballot measure indicates the
ease with which the California constitution can be amended,
but that the situation there is not necessarily how it will play
out in other states.
"Most other states have a much more protective setup, so
that you can'tjust have a majority of people strip people of constitutional protections with a bare majority vote without some
prior legislative action, and usually only with a supermajority
vote;' McKay explains.
In Iowa, amending the state constitution requires approval
by two consecutive state legislatures before a statewide vote
on the change, and a bid by opponents of same-sex marriage
to change the constitution is sure to fail this year. The current
Iowa Legislature is firmly Democratic, and House and Senate
leaders have publicly rejected the idea of a constitutional
amendment to overturn the legalization of gay marriage.
Vermont's Legislature mustered a supermajority to override
the governor's veto of the same-sex marriage legislation, a level
of support that makes it unlikely that opponents of same-sex
marriage could find the legislative backing overturn the law,
says Pizer.
In another victory in an already-historic week, the District
of Columbia City Council voted unanimously to recognize
same-sex marriages from other states on April 7.
States to watch for future legalization of same-sex
marriage include New Jersey, New Hampshire, Rhode
Island and Maine each of which has marriage legislation
pending. Same-sex marriage legislation has been approved in
the House in New Hampshire and is pending in the Senate
at press time, while Governor Corzine of New Jersey has
indicated that he will sign same-sex-marriage legislation if it's
approved by the Legislature. ■
Ahh,Victory Is Sweet
Same-sex marriagewins
spread acrossthe country.
Lesbian Lawyers on the J:ront
Thebattlefor ourequalrightsis wagedeveryday
in thiscountry,in a milliondifferentways.From
decisions
in countycourthouses
to protestsin the
streetto themereactof onesinglehumanbeing
comingoutof thecloset.Twowomenwhohave
dedicated
theirlivesto careersin fightingfor our
rightsareJennyPizer(right)andKateKendelltwoattorneyswhoworkeveryday,exclusively
for us,in legalcasesaroundthis country.
JennyPizeris seniorcounselandMarriage
Projectdirectorfor LambdaLegal.KateKendell
is the executive
directorof the NationalCenter
for LesbianRights(NCLR).
Theirlife'sworkis
in thefieldof socialchangeandtheyhaveboth
beenworkinghardat it for 20years.
What'san averageworkdaylooklike?Kendell
rattlesoff herrecentschedule:
"In Florida,we
just argueda caseon lesbianparentingand
in oralargumentin a transgender
prisoncase.
Thereis a currentlawsuitattackingCalifornia
safeschoolslegislation
that we arefighting,and
wejust hada meetingearliertodayaboutENDA
in Congress."
Oneof the battlesbothPizerandKendellwere
involvedin recentlywastheverytenserace
for marriageequalityin California.
"Marriage
THE !-1ADISON
A LOEWS HOTEL
LATHAMa.WATKINSu,
■
'WHITMAN-WALKKlt
CLINIC
is a particularly
powerfulissuefor us
to workon,"saysPizer,"becauseit's
aboutthewaythatsocietytreatsus
as less-than,
with respectto thething
aboutusthat'sdifferent.If you're
talkingaboutemployment
or... military
service-gayandstraightservicemembers
do
theirjobsthesameway.pnthatcase],we are
seekingthe rightto betreatedthesamewhen
sexualorientation
... doesnotmatter.Butwith
respectto family,we aredifferent.That'sthe
placewherewe'refightingto betreatedthe
same,whilebeingdifferent."
LastMay,the CaliforniaSupremeCourtmade
same-sexmarriageslegal.However,
those
marriagerightswerestrippedwith the passage
of Proposition
8 in November.
In thosefew
months,18,000couplesweremarried.In addition to workingonthe Noon Prop.8 campaign,
KendellandPizerbothworkedon casesto
challengethevalidityof Prop.8, whichwentto
oralarguments
to the SupremeCourton March
5. At presstime,those18,000marriages-and
the rightsfor all gayandlesbianCaliforniansarehangingin the balancewhilethe Supreme
Courtconsidersits ruling.
"It's beenanabsolute
rollercoaster,"
saysKendell,
"Twelvemonthsago,we hadjust
arguedthe marriagecaseand
won!It wasa shotheardaround
theworld,of a veryinfluential
StateSupremeCourtstandingupfor us in an
enormous
way.It's a joy andelationI canonly
compareto whenmychildrenwereborn.Then,
six monthslater,I neverfelt sodefeatedor discouraged.
I wasgrievingwhenwe lostProp.8."
Suchis the natureof civil rightswork.There
arewinsandlosses."Winor lose,it's still a
long-termfight,"saysPizer."Everycivil rights
struggleis a long-termfight.Wemoveforward
whenwe win,andoftenwe evenmoveforward
whenwe lose."According
to her,simplyinitiating
theconversation
is imperative
rightnow.
Withmanyvictoriesanddefeatsstill ahead,
thesetwo dedicatedlawyersarein it for the long
haul."[Ourmovement]
is aboutaddressing
a
wholerangeof issues-it's notjust aboutmarriage,"explainsPizer."It's aboutfamilyrelationshipsandjobsandsafetyandequaltreatment,
bothunderlawandin society,andeveryfacetof
ourlives."[JDDisalvatore]
l=indingYour Way
SanFrancisco,
Atlanta,Chicago-these
threemajorPridecitiesaregreatto visit
anytime of year.But,you'llneeda good
bookto familiarizeyourselfwith the terrain.
O As a newcomerto SanFranciscomyself,
I recommend
the Nottar Tourists
Guldeto
SanFranclSt:D
(www.notfortourists.com.)
and WhereSanFrancisco
(www.wheretraveler.com).
TheNotfor TouristsGuideis
chock-fullof snarkyone-linersdescribing
landmarksandnightlife,lettingyouknow,for
instance,that at TheCafeyou'llfind "so many
gaymendancingwith lesbiansyou'll mistake
it for a straightbar."WhereSanFranciscois
goodfor its compactness.
Its cutepop-outmaps
will preventyoufromlookingtoo muchlike a
tourist.
f) If you'reheadedto Atlanta,packThe
OutTraveler.
Atlanta,byJordanMcAuleyand
MattBurkhalter(www.alysonbooks.com).
McAuleyandBurkhalter'spassionfor their
hometownshinesthroughin this guidefor the
out-and-about
queertraveler.If you'realso
singleandwell-heeled,
this guideis all you'll
list.Thelatterbook,bytour guidesandanthropologistsKathieBergquistandRobertMcDonald,
is a sassy,comprehensive
travelguidewith
everything
frominsideandoutsidethe gayborneedin yourbackpocketto find greatfood,
drinkandentertainment.
Thepricesfor hotels,
hoodsto WindyCitysightseeing
to whereto
restaurantsandattractionsaren'tdisclosed,
findthe ladies(includinghook-uptips).Outand
andthe informationaboutkid-friendlystuffto
Proud,editedbylesbianpublishingpowerdo andoutdoorrecreationis minimal.Still,the
houseandnativeChicagoan
TracyBaim,is the
guideis thoroughandwell-organized,
andthe
definitiveguideto Chicago's
queercommunity,
coverageof historicalqueerAtlantais top-notch. pastandpresent.Withessayscoveringthe city's
history,fromits originsasa prairiesettlementto
its innovative
responses
to theAIDScrisis,and
8 Andif Chicagois yourdestination,
addOut
andProudIn Chicago(www.agatepublishillustratedbynearly400images,this wonderful
collectiongivesthe city'sgaycommunityevery
ing.com)andA Reid Guldeto Gay& Lesbian
Chicago
(www.lakeclaremont.com)
to yourwish reasonto be proud.[Kimberly
Bale]
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Two women try to
tango their way back
to the bedroom.
Mc,1HanaFalcon started teaching women to tango at a lesbian community center
five years ago, but wanted to create something "more friendly and open," so she
created TangoQueer, a milonga-a tango dance studio-in San Telma, the oldest
neighborhood in Buenos Aires, Argentina. These days, the mi/onga is packed twice
a week with cute, mostly local women and a few men. The atmosphere is genial
but serious, and the evening starts with an hour-long group lesson. When the
lesson is over, most of the beginners drift back to the sidelines and let the cool,
practiced pairs sweep across the floor. This is the story of two women who lost the
spark in their relationship and went to Argentina to reignite it through tango-and
the woman who helped them along the way.
AINAHUNTER
Age:35
Profession:
journalist
Marriedto MargieWilliams
Uncompromisingly
femme
In my imaginarion \\'C have always been minor duracrcrs
L·ontcnr ro die in my arms. In all fairness, ftmr years can make
you sec rhings dif-frrcnrly. And we did have differences and
divisions, some of rhem crippling, bur we hobbled through.
Fast-forward
eight years. Married
now had one apartment
in
a RadclyHc Hall novel: ir's 1928, and we're arrisric Parisians
in i'vlassachuserrs, we
in New York, one home in rhe foot-
hills, one bearded collie d1ild subsrirure and one old SUV
(necessary for rhc hauling of cools and building materials, I
dashing from coffee shop ro opium den ro exquisite house
tcel compelled ro explain). Tl1e economy had crumbled around
parry. Myself writing, Ana·is Nin-ish; l'vbrgie raking picrures
our largely rented lifesrylc and rogcrher we wondered if our
of rhings, Ansel Adams-ish.
airline miles would bcL·ome as worthless as our 401 (k)s.
In rcaliry I am a newspaper reporter, a profession in which
dreaming
and imagining can gcr you fired. And in realiry.
i\fargie is a carpenter, another no-nonsense
profession.
"So, where arc you going fc.wyour honeymoont
friends and
Nevcrrhelcss,
rhcrc
was a honermoon,
afrer
all. To
Argentina. \Ve traded 10 days of August in New York ft)r 10
dars of early spring in Buenos Aires. "Ilic dollar being 1 to 3,
we knew we'd gorge on steak-a
novelry, what wirh us being
co-workers chliruscd weeks before our wedding. \Ve have been
members of char uniquely American breed of carnivore who,
a pair ( off and on, bur mosrly on) for over a decade. And ir is
while harboring an aversion
no exaggeration ( rho ugh I'm sure Margie would disagree-I
chicken and fish in rhe same c:negnry as shiirakes.
am consranrly being accused of hyperbole) ro say that we have
to
red mc;n, inexplicably places
I have a confession: \Ve wcnr ro Buenos Aires primarily ro
traveled the entire world rogerhcr. "!he idea of a honcynwon
learn tango. l'\'e held rhis information
seemed corny and redundant.
phobia abour learning ro dance and looking srupid. Tl1is pho-
\Ve have had quire a few honeymoon-like
firsr was a trip from Tokyo ro Hokkaido
adventures. Our
in 1996. \Ve held
each orhcr in a single bunk bed as rhe enormous cruise ship
pitched and tossed. A voice on a loud speaker cold our fel-
bia has, apparently, prevented me
frt)m
back because I have a
even rn)ing rhc word
"rango" until now. Bur there iris.
\Ve were grcered ar our San Tclmo aparrmenr
leather-skinned
bleach-blonde
by a rail.
in her 50s who gave us rhc
low passengers \\'here ro line up ro board litcboars in case of
name oLrn instructor. t'Vlcrcedcs looked Margie up and down.
disaster. \Ve couldn't understand
"If you learn ro lead well," she cold Margie, "you will be able
a word (so maybe che voice
to
was saying somerhing else complcrely). Ir didn'r marrer. \Ve
da1Kc anywhere, nor jusr rhe queer 111ilo11g,1.
All rhe girls will
just held cad1 ocher, content ro die in each other's arms off rhe
want
to
dance wirh you! Ir is true! You only have to lead!"
I'm sure I witnessed a fresh resolve in my spouse afrer rhar.
rocky, frigid coast.
\Ve had another honeymoon
four years later in Indonesia.
\Ve mer i\fariana Falcon, our rhirrysomcching
andro-femi-
staff covered our bed wirh flower petals. A srurdy-looking
nine instructor, ar her srudio on Avcndia Belgrado, and I was
girl instructed us on the swifr disabling of giant grasshoppers.
(Ir was an uncomfortable moment.)
didn't lcr on. \Ve had a hard rime ar first, bur probably no
·n1e
"I11arnight, rhc warm rain poured down on rhc black sand,
nor rraumarized.
If she thought I was amazingly clumsy, she
more so rhan any orhcr no\'iccs. \Ve had four daily two-hour
rhc sea level rose and lirrle waves licked ar our front door.
lessons, and on rhc night of the queer 111ilo11gd-a mosrly
I slepr, heavy as a corpse while Margie sar up tense in bed
female dance parer-we
imagining us being carried off
of people.
to
Australia, no longer feeling
were able ro rwirl and srrur in front
June 2009
I 53
We take pride in you
Pride in yourself. Pride in your community. We believe in celebrating what's important. That's
why we contribute to many LGBT nonprofits, encourage team members to volunteer, and help
Pride celebrations happen in many cities. Wells Fargo fosters a culture in which all people and
their individual differences are not only accepted, but celebrated! Happy Pride.
well sf argo.com/lgbt
Together we'll go far
~
© 2009 Wells Fargo, N. A. All rights reserved. Member FDIC. (121633_12634)
NOTMANY
QUEER
WOMEN
would consider Texas a prime vaca,
Top: Austin's
skyline; Inset:
Scenes from
Austin's Pride
parade
tion destination. The whole state is known as Bush Country,
because of the famously conservative president who was its
governor. Take a closer look, though. Austin may be the only
liberal gem in the whole state, but it is a true lesbian hot spot.
Unlike Chicago and St. Louis, for instance, where there
are specific streets and areas dedicated to the LGBT com,
munity, Austin's gay and lesbian scene is integrated
throughout the city.Live music, barbecue, Tex, Mex cuisine and
alternative culture abound. In a city boasting a population
of more than 700,000, tolerance is almost a requirement.
Bars and clubs can be found all around town, with a strong
cluster in the Warehouse District. With the University of
Texas and several other colleges in the city, the nightlife is
young, vibrant and accepting.
If you're a dyke who digs the dark, you'll enjoy pregame
action at the 1920s Club on Congress Avenue. It's known as
Austin's "classy"gay bar-part of a vintage '20s Chevy truck
protrudes from the south wall. The customers are friendly,
yet not intrusive. Don't leave before trying one of the bar,
tender's famous flavored martinis-choose
vanilla, chocolate
or almost any berry you can think of. They're all tasty. While
the crowd is predominantly male, women are no strangers to
this boozer.
Afterward, head over to the Rainbow Cattle Company at
West 5th Street to learn how to dance country. Show up on a
Thursday to catch ladies' night. Or, iflive music is what you're
looking for, either the Continental Club on South Congress
Avenue, or Rain at West 4th Street, is sure to meet your
needs.
Those who crave more hands,on entertainment are urged
to go to 'Bout Time Austin, a tavern,style bar catering specifi,
cally to the lesbian and gay crowd, 'Bout Time has everything
from drinks and darts to video games and sand volleyball.
If barhopping isn't your thing, there are plenty of alcohol,
free activities to occupy your nights. Check out Esther's Follies,
a comedy show that is guaranteed to have your gut busting.
With drag queens galore and audience participation in skits
like "Foot Sandwich" (where one lucky tourist eats a sandwich
made with a comic's feet), everybody's evening will start off on
the right note.
You'll certainly have perfect pitch if you round out your
night ~th a visit to the Austin Lyric Opera's innovative
Triangle on Stage program. It's been providing outreach
activities to the lesbian and gay community for close to two
decades. Before every production at the ALO, Triangle on
Stage hosts a meet,and,greet where participants can learn
more about opera from the directors, designers and singers
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LESBIAN
LAY-AWAYS
Hotel San Jose
www.sanjosehotel.com, $95 and up.
A lesbian-owned, bungalow-style hotel where artists
and musicians like to stay.
Brava House
www.bravahouse.com, $99 and up.
A lesbian-owned, all-inclusive B&B on a quiet residential street.
themselves. The meet-and-greet is free, so be sure to get
there early because it's first come, first served.
If you are nursing a hangover the following day, or just seeking a leisurely way to chill out for a while, a movie might be a
good option. The Alamo Drafthouse Cinema on Lake Creek,
one of four in the city, boasts a quiet ambience and a handful
of indie films daily. Enjoy a flick at a quaint table, where you
can be served eats and drinks as you watch.
Once you get your energy back, you might consider one of
Austin's outdoor options, like a hike at Zilker Metropolitan
Park on Barton Springs Road. If you are feeling more ambitious, a 30-minute drive to Hippie Hollow Park on Comanche
Trail is recommended. The park has a steep shoreline that
provides exquisite views of Lake Travis, and it's only $8 for a
day permit. Clothing-optional swimming and sunbathing is an
added bonus for the nudists among you.
If you can be there in June, consider making arrangements
that coincide with the Austin Gay and Lesbian Chamber of
Commerce Pride Parade and Pride Texas Festival (this year,
June 6 and June 14, respectively). Over 10,000 out-of-staters
travel to Austin for the extravaganza every year.
Traveling in September? Check out Austin's Gay and
Lesbian International Film Festival, the oldest and largest
LGBT film festival in the Southwest. Hundreds of films from
upwards of 15 countries are shown each year to tens of thousands of attendees.
Another experience to consider in the fall is the Texas 25
Rodeo. Hosted by the Travis Gay Rodeo Association, this
LGBT-specific event is packed with pool and dance parties,
as well as traditional rodeo competitions. The gay rodeo is
sure to be a one-of-a-kind Texas event for anyone from out
of state.
One thing that is a must-see, even if you're Transylvanian,
~ is the millions of bats under the Congress Avenue Bridge.
These Mexican free-tailed bats return from the South to
roost beneath the bridge every summer. Be sure to visit during sunset, when, like clockwork, the bats emerge in a black
cloud to feed in the nearby forest.
Since you're in the area, why not get some dinner at the
lesbian-owned Mexican cafe, El Sol Y La Luna. If you're not in
the mood for Mexican, there's always the South Congress Cafe
for Southwestern delicacies on or Vespaio for classic Italian.
Looking for more? While, sadly, there are no specifically
lesbian venues in the city, be sure to check for events at Book
Woman bookstore, or in "The Gay Place" of the weekly
Austin Chronicle.■
Mi Yard Bed and Breakfast
www.miyardbedandbreakfast.com, $100 a night.
An Austin bungalow decorated with old reggae posters. There
is a kitchen available for guest use, and a barbecue pit, as well.
Park Lane Guest House
www.parklaneguesthouse.com, $145 and up.
A lesbian-owned B&B in the hip SoCo district.
1110 Carriage House Inn
www.carriagehouseinn.org, starting at $130 a night.
The country breakfast at Carriage House Inn is one of the best.
Inter-Continental Stephen F. Austin Hotel
www.austin.intercontinental.com, $200 and up.
Four blocks from the Austin State Capitol and within walking distance
of the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum, the University of
Texas and the Lady Bird Lake Hike and Bike Trail.
The Driskill
www.driskillhotel.com, $180 and up.
An 1886 hotel with roomy quarters, original artwork, a gym, a
restaurant and even a pampered pet program for an extra $50.
GRUBBIN'
GAY
STYLE
• Salt Lick BBQ: www.saltlickbbq.com
• Uchi for Sushi: www.uchiaustin.com
• East Side Cafe for vegetarian cuisine: www.eastsidecafeaustin.com
• Rosie's Tamale House meets your Tex-Mex needs: (512) 263-5245
PRIDEOFNEWENGLAND
Provincetown is the place to be if you're out and proud-with
By Jennifer Corday
PROVINCETOWN,
MASS.,is a gay-friendly hot spot famous for its
great music and comedy, fine dining, cycling and shopping, not
to speak of dancing and drinking. The annual Women's Week
(Oct. 9-18 this year) is a great time to visit, or, if you're looking for a summertime destination, this East Coast haven has
everything you need for a perfect lesbian getaway (the lesbian
group, Women on a Roll makes an annual pilgrimage there).
The town thrives on its summer tourist industry, and is one of
the most popular gay destinations in the world.
Located at the tip of Cape Cod, Provincetown (or P-town,
if you're in the know) is 116 miles from Boston. If you Hyinto
Boston, the fastest route is to catch another Hight on Cape Air.
It will cost you, but you'll get to P-town in 25 minutes Hat.The
next best option is to take the ferry across the top of Cape Cod
Bay-it takes longer, but you'll be able to kick back and relax
for the 90-minute journey. Unfortunately, the
ferries run only during the summertime high
season, so you'll have to drive if you want to go
for this year's Women's Week. The three-hour
drive is lined with great scenery and you'll enjoy the fall foliage
in all its splendor. As you roll into the heart of Provincetown,
you'll appreciate the East Coast charm of this quaint little harbor town, not to mention the plethora of rainbow Hags.
Fishing has always been Provincetown's primary industry, and you can still see historical relics and buildings that
were once fishing lofts, warehouses and barns. Although
Plymouth is often thought to be the Pilgrims' first landing
spot, Provincetown harbor was actually where the Mayflower
first landed in 1620, and where the Mayflower Compact
ss Icurve
a capital P.
was signed. In the 20th century, artists and other bohemians
Hocked to P-town, making it quite the eclectic melting pot.
The Town Clerk's Office has issued more than 2,000 marriage licenses since same-sex was legalized in Massachusetts
in 2004, making it one of the most popular gay wedding destinations. Whether you are getting married or just vacationing,
you will love the feeling of freedom you get as you walk down
Commercial Street holding hands with your gal. It's as gay
as a Pride parade, without the rainbow beads and the Bible
thumpers. (Well, you might see some rainbow beads.) Enjoy
shopping along Commercial Street where you'll find jewelry,
art galleries, clothing and specialty shops.
The food is fabulous, so it's worth throwing a little extra
cash into your eating out budget. There are no fast-food restaurants, so you'll be forced to try the wonderful fine dining.
At the Red Inn I had one of
the best vegetarian meals of
my life, which the chef made
especially for me. The Red
Inn is known as one of the
oldest and most respected
spots on the cape for fresh
local seafood. For a more
laid-back vibe, jump into the
Lobster Pot in the heart of
Commercial Street. Try the
barbecue pepper shrimp or
the Asian steamed little neck
oysters and a beer. With a
view of the water and great
chefs, the Lobster Pot is one
of the most popular seafood joints in town-you
can't miss it. For something
a little farther off the beaten
path, try Napi's. A local favorite, Napi's is situated on a
windy street made bright and
cheerful with a variety of flowers, as well as local artists' work,
stained glass and carousel horses. The twinkly lights and warm
decor make it a fantastic place for a nice dinner with your lady.
I also loved the Art House Cafe-it's always a hub of activity. Owned by renowned chef Steve Frappoilli, the Art House
offers delicious homemade food all day and night. Try the
vegetarian dumplings-they are delicious. The Art House is
not only a restaurant; it has two stages that host nightly entertainment. The new theater seating, technical equipment and
Pride of New Englandcontinuedon page 71
OR MANY LESBIANS, the coming out process is
about openly claiming our sexual preferences, our bod,
ies and, through these, our identity. Often, the hard,
est part is being open when it's so easy to blend in and
hide. But for some in our community, coming out about being
a lesbian is the easy part. Lesbia~s with disabilities have to deal
with double the discrimination and, often, two closets.
"When I met the woman who 'brought me out' we dis,
cussed having seizures, [because she had them] as well;' recalls
a 68,year,old woman with epilepsy from Berkeley, Cali£ But,
she says,"at one point I had a seizure, and she really turned off
to me:' The memory of this rejection and her experience of
discrimination made this woman cautious about coming out,
and reluctant to provide her name for this article.
There is little information, and even less support, for lesbians
with disabilities. Even the Human Rights Campaign, with its
comprehensive manuals that speak to the African American
and Latino communities, lacks an outreach programs for les,
bians with disabilities.
"I know that I really did struggle with 'Can I be queer, and
can I be disabled?' " recalls Meredith Nicholson, who was 3
when she was diagnosed with pervasive developmental dis,
order, a disorder located on the autism spectrum. For her,
learning to have pride in her identity was crucial to becoming
more comfortable with being a lesbian with a disability. "If
60
Icurve
you can develop a sense of self, you can be queer and dis,
abled;' she says.
I asked all the women I interviewed for this piece the same
question: "Do you feel there is more discrimination against
being gay, being disabled or being both?" The response was
resounding. The disability closet is long and deep, and
often it's those who are assumed to be able,bodied that feel
discrimination most acutely, because part of their identity
is erased.
Chelsey Clammer is one of those people. She has a choice,
she says. "I can pass as straight. I can pass as able,bodied, and
this can be a privilege. Some people who are visibly or physi,
cally disabled, it's just not a choice:'
But Clammer doesn't think twice about identifying as queer,
and neither does Nicholson. Nicholson, now 18, asserts, "I am
more comfortable coming out to people as queer. I get really
anxious that if people know I have a disability they'll try to be
nicer to me, try to pity me, and I don't want that:'
For Nicholson, it was not that her experiences were negative
as much as they were negligible. In a middle school aftercare
program specifically designed for children with disabilities,
staff members voiced the common myth that having a dis,
ability makes one asexual. Nicholson recalls one staffer
saying, "Oh, isn't that cute. She's disabled and she found love:•
And, if Nicholson was allowed a sexuality, it was assumed
6
~
i
~
~
&?
;
that she was straight. She remembers another staff member
asking, "So, did you dance with any boys?"
Every lesbian has to deal with ignorant questions: Where's
your boyfriend? What do you look for in a man? Very few,
however, have been deemed unworthy of having any sexual
feelings at all. To combat this ignorance, Nicholson reveals
her sexual orientation separately from her disability.
"It's been a struggle to find a space where I can be comfortable being disabled or being gay;' Nicholson says. Clammer
may not have found that common ground, either, though she
says she cannot help but "feel that the identities are really
hard to extract from each other:'
But identity politics are not the only concern for lesbians with disabilities. Receiving appropriate medical care is a
pressing issue for the lesbian community as a whole, but for lesbians with disabilities it's especially relevant. According to the
Guidelinesfor Care of LGBT Patients by the Gay and Lesbian
Medical Association, 45 percent of lesbian and bisexual
women are not honest with their providers about their sexual
orientation, often because they don't have a safe, comfortable,
friendly atmosphere in which to disclose this information.
When Clammer was admitted to a psychiatric ward in college, for instance, she corrected the naivete of a clinician who
assumed she was struggling to come out. "I said, 'Lady, I've
been out and proud for four years: And they thought, obviously, I was depressed because I was a lesbian, and couldn't
deal with that:'
Karen Thompson and her partner Sharon Kowalski have
fought their own battle with homophobia in the medical
establishment. In 1983, a drunk driver hit Kowalski, leaving
her seriously disabled. Before the accident, Thompson says
she was too afraid to use the word "gay;'even within her own
household, and neither woman was out to her family. When
Kowalski's conservative, anti-gay family was given control of
her medical care, the couple were forced into the public eye to
fight a court battle for Thompson's status as legal guarantor.
The lengthy legal proceedings were counterproductive to
Kowalski's health, and she was left alone in a skilled nursing facility. Almost 10 years after the accident, in 1991, the
Minnesota Court of Appeals granted Thompson guardianship of Kowalski, setting a precedent for both the queer and
the disability communities. A film, Lifetime Commitment: A
Portrait of Karen Thompson, and several books were written about the case and its place in the history of LGBT
fight for equality, and is the reason why so many women
now have medical powers of attorney. Today, the couple use
their status as role models to educate people on how to be
more disability-friendly.
Looking back, Thompson realizes that coming out gave
more protections than they clhad when they were in the closet.
"I realized that as long as we're invisible, we're vulnerable;' she
says."We're much safer out of the closet:'
In 2007, Cathy Sakimura, an attorney with the National
Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), won another watershed
case for the LGBT and disability communities. When a lesbian
mother with a disability applied for federal disability benefits
for her non-biological son, the Social Security Administration
denied her application, even though a previous ruling by an
administrative judge stated that under California law the
woman was legally the child's parent. The NCLR stepped in
and assisted her attorney in winning the appeal. "This decision is extremely significant for children who are being raised
by LGBT parents with disabilities;' said Sakimura when
the case was won. "The Social
Security Administration has
recognized that a child may
have two legal parents of the
same sex and that the federal government must provide
these children with equal benefits;' said Sakimura when the
case was won.
In both these cases, the
law wound up protecting
the rights of people with disabilities, but their sexuality
made claiming those protections more difficult. Legally,
it seems more protections
are in place for citizens with
disabilities than for LGBT
people, but emotionally, the
community lags far behind.
Activists in both camps are beginning to recognize the benefits of uniting the two causes. And as intersections are drawn,
definitions expand. The expanded Hate Crimes Bill, for instance, which was passed in 2007, covers crimes committed
against individuals with disabilities as well as homosexuals.
More and more young lesbians with disabilities are rightfully claiming their sexual identity and their bodies, and
learning to be proud of both. And, as members of both communities begin to see each other as allies, these women will
begin to be the norm, not the exception. ■
"I really did struggle
with 'Can I be queer,
and can I be disabled:'
I am more comfortable
coming out to people
as queer. I get really
anxious that if people
know I have a disability
they'll try to be nicer
to me, try to pity me,
and I don't want that:'
June 2009
I 61
Baby Can You Hear Mei
How one deaf lesbiancame into her own. By Elise Roy
M
Y GIRLFRIEND and I were standing in the
kitchen making muffins for breakfast when
she clasped her hands around me from behind
and rested her chin in the niche of my shoulder. She whispered something in my ear that I could not
quite understand.
I turned to her and asked, "Olivejuice?" a bit wary as to how
that would taste in the muffins.
"No, silly.I love you:'
"Ohh;' I giggled.
Everyone asks me
the same questions
when they find out
that I am a deaf lesbian: Do you date
mainly deaf women?
Have all your girlfriends known sign
language? And my
personal favoritedo you need to keep
the lights on when
m
e
you have sex?
When I was 10
q estions when
years old and began
d out
losing my hearing,
that I am a deaf
no one could tell me why I was losing it or
how much I would eventually lose. My hearlesbian. Do you
ing continued to diminish for five years and
date mainly deaf then suddenly stopped. My hearing loss was
women: Have all classified as "profound;' meaning if someone
said 100 rand~m words while covering their
your girlfriends
lips and I guessed at every one, I might get
one right.
known sign
My parents decided to keep me enrolled
language: And
in the private school I was attending, afraid
that if they placed me in an all-deaf atmosmy personal
phere I would isolate myself from the hearfavorite-do you ing world. Although I am thankful in many
need to keep the ways for this decision, because it enabled
me to interact in both worlds, it meant that
lights on when
I would never receive any special help in
school beyond getting a classmate's notes,
you have sex:
that I would not learn sign language until
college and that I would not find myself in an all-deaf atmosphere until after law school.
I found myself constantly thrust into embarrassing and
frustrating situations that I didn't know how to handle. When
I went to places like McDonald's and tried to place my order, I
didn't anticipate that they would ask "Would you like to super-
th
62
fi
Icurve
size that?" or"Would you like anything else with that?" I didn't
know how or when to graciously say,"I have a hearing loss, can
you repeat that please?"
I learned quickly that I had to work twice as hard as my
peers if I wanted to achieve the same grades. The first quarter
after I began losing my hearing, I received a 28 percent on
a geography test. I needed an A in order to pass the class. I
spent an hour each night for a week before the next test having my mom quiz me. I got a 98 percent-the highest score
in the class.
I noticed, too, that my parents and teachers were now surprised when I achieved things like B's in school-something
that would have been expected from me before I lost my hearing. Somehow, despite this, I never let my disability define me.
In fact, in many ways I did not even view myself as disabled. I
even told my dad when I was 12 that I was going to go to an Ivy
League college and I was going to not only be on the national
soccer team, but also the national lacrosse team.
By high school I noticed something nagging at me that was
not my hearing, making me feel different from my friends. I
stood in my kitchen late one night, after my friends told me
that a teacher who I had been able to confide in (one who I
could not seem to get out of my mind) was leaving my school.
While I was thinking about why this news affected me so
much, a voice in my head said, "Elise, you might be gay:'
And then, during sophomore year at my Ivy League college
(with top-20 ranked soccer and lacrosse teams), I kissed my
best friend. She had been waiting for me to get ready, sitting
on the couch in my dorm suite. I could feel the electricity from
her eyes on my back as I stood in my bra, looking for a shirt
to wear. Sure enough, a few Jagermeister shots later, we found
each other's lips. We didn't talk about what happened until
a month later, when we kissed again. In one way, I was singing inside. I felt like Maria in The Sound of Music. Everything
finally felt right. But in another way, I was as scared as Regan
in The Exorcism.
Today, I can say that I finally feel as ifI am myself. Although
my hearing loss and my sexuality have made my life tougher
than the norm, they have also given me a career, taught me
determination and the benefits of working hard, taught me
how to get back up again after being knocked down and
molded me into who I am today. I am a former elite collegiate
athlete, someone who helped write an international treaty at
the United Nations to protect people with disabilities worldwide, someone who has been loved by a few amazing women
and someone who has had the guts to leave her career as a
lawyer to pursue her real dream of writing.
Oh, and to answer those questions-yes, all of my girlfriends
have been hearing, only one knew some sign language ... and
no, the lights do not need to be on during sex. ■
REVIEWSMusic Watch
Let Your Freak Fla
Celebrate Pride with out of the ordinary sounds. By Margaret Coble
Elizabeth
Willis(Little
BlackbirdRecords):
It's
Willis'entrancing
violinand
pianoaccompaniment
that
standoutin herself-titled
debutalbum.A prodigywho
beganstudyingclassicalmusicat age4, her
melodicinventions
bring
depthto hersmokyvocals,
whicharereminiscent
of Nina
SimoneandTracyChapman.
Independently
produced,
the
albumpromises
greatthings
fromthis multi-dimensional
artist.(www.elizabethwillis.com)
[KelsyChauvin]
Over the top and at the
same time musically
impeccable, Mistress
Stephanie & Her Melodic
Cat deliver surprisingly
infectious musical
theater with a darkly
humorous edge.
What better way to celebrate Pride than with these
beyond,queer sounds by eccentric singer,songwriter
Larkin Grimm, theatrical dance,punk duo Mistress
Stephanie & Her Melodic Cat and the simply uncat,
egorizable Antony and the Johnsons.
Parplar,
LarkinGrimm(Young
God):This latest 15,song
disc has been referred to as Grimm's most conven,
tional; all I can say is, it's pretty much what you might
expect from someone who was raised by hippie par,
ents in a religious cult in Memphis, Tenn., spent the
remainder of her childhood in the Appalachians of
Georgia, being "raised by the family dog," and then
studied art off and on at Yale for many years before
learning healing massage in Thailand and befriending
a Cherokee shaman in Alaska. A free spirit who has
identified as both transgender and genderless, Grimm
has an eccentric freak,folk sound that has more in
common with Coco Rosie than with Bjork, despite
comparisons made to both. Alternately moaning,
64
I curve
wailing, cooing and whispering, Grimm's vocal range
is surpassed only by her instrumental range, which
includes acoustic guitar, banjo, Casio keyboard,
Chinese harp, violin and mountain dulcimer. Cuts
like the gentle string ballad "They Were Wrong," the
galloping dark rocker "Ride That Cyclone" and the
bluegrass crooner"Fall on My Knees" are fairly acces,
sible, while the shrill chant "Mina Minou Final" and
~
the blippy, warbling title track go a much more experi, ~
a:
mental route. You're either going to love it or hate it; I ~
love it. (www.younggodrecords.com)
~
~
Take That!, MistressStephanie& Her MelodicCat
(Pressing):Making what has been called "sado,
vaudevillian punk;' this genderfucking performance,
art duo from Austin, Texas, perhaps watched Cabaret
a few times too many while listening to a mash,
up of Marlene Deitrich, Kraftwerk and polka
music. Over the top and at the same time musically
impeccable, Stephanie Stephens and Adam Sultan-
~
f:3
..J
~
g
~
j
iii
~
~
z
~
mistress and kitty, respectively-deliver
surprisingly infectious musical theater with
a darkly humorous edge. The instrumental
"Weimar" sets the scene, with its military
drum cadence, dramatic pianos and spaghetti
Western guitar twangs, launching directly
into "Get Off My Chest;' the opening vocal number that introduces their characters.
"Shake Your Dance Stick" is a tongue-incheek Euro-trash synthfest that could easily
have been featured on Saturday Night Live's
"Sprockets" spoof from the late 1980s, and "I
Hate Cabaret" is a hilarious self-parody. It's
an entertaining romp from beginning to end.
(www.mistressandkitty.com)
Capades
ObiBest
(SocialScience)
Sangria
MariahParker
(AncientFuture)
Ledby Birdandthe
Instrumental
albums
Beebackupsinger
rarelycatchmyear,
AlexLilly'scrystalline butthisworldfusion
vocals,thisduooffers setbytheacclaimed
anexquisitely
produced California
jazzpianist
debutCDfilledwith
is a hypnotic
tourof
catchymelodies,
clever globalgrooves,
melding
lyricsandairyelecIndianandMiddle
tronic-enhanced
pop. Eastern
instrumentaThebouncyrhythmon tionwithLatinrhythms.
"NothingCanCome
Indianandflamenco
Between
Us"will stick musiccollideviacello
in yourheadfor days. andtablain thetitle
Thelayeredblipsof
track,whileHindustani
"SwedishBoy"make vocalscattingspicesup
mesmile.(www.socia/-"TenthJourney."(www.
sciencerecs.com)
ancient-future.
com)
The CryingLight,Antonyand the Johnsons
(SecretlyCanadian}:
I mentioned their fivesong EP Another World a few months ago,
but now that the full album is out, it's worth
some more ink. Merging an
indie pop aesthetic with
classical
instrumentation
and dramatic theatricality, openly
transgender
Antony Hegarty disarms
with his otherworldly voice
and
heart-piercing
lyrics, which, on this set, are
themed around "landscapes
and the future:' The album
and tide track are dedicated
to Japanese butoh dancer Kazuo Ohno,
whom Hegarty refers to as his "art parent:'
The first single, "Epilepsy Is Dancing;' is a
gorgeous dreamscape brought to life in an
equally stunning video by the Wachowski
Brothers depicting a mystic vision during
an epileptic seizure. ''.Another World;' from
the previously mentioned EP, deals with
climate change and saying goodbye to the
world we've known. It's not party music, but
it will definitely reach into your heart and
soul. (www.secretlycanadian.com)
■
PickingOutBoxes
LindsayKatt
(self-released)
DanceMother
Telepathe
(IAMSOUND)
Here'sa freshsound,
fromthequeer,
NYC-based
singersongwriter
whose
debutdiscis a melodic
popmasterpiece,
particularlythesoaring
pianopop-rockanthem
"Out& About"andthe
perkycello-centric
"My
Happy."ToriAmos,eat
yourheartout.(www.
lindsaykatt.com)
If hard-driving,
dark
electro-pop
is more
yourspeed,then
thisdebutfrom
queerBrooklyn
duo
MelissaLivaudais
and
BusyGangnes
(who
pronounce
theband's
name"telepathy")
is
a must-have.
Edgier
thanUhHuhHer,with
an '80sBerlin-meetsBauhaus
vibe.(www.
iamsoundrecords.
com)
Q+A
Cortney Tidwell
Cortney Tidwell's 2006 debut
album Don't Let the Stars Keep
Us TangledUp seemed to come
out of nowhere. Its ravishing guitar pyrotechnics, brittle electronic excursions and intimate torch
songs ensured critical adoration
and it has become something
of a word-of-mouth phenomenon. But with its follow-up,
Boys,which will be released this
month and was two years in the making,
the woman described as "Nashville's own
Little Sparrow" -an undisguised reference to Edith Piaf-eclipses that opening
set with nonchalant bravado.
Yourspentyourchildhood
yearswithheadphones
clamped
toyourears.Whatwere
youlistening
to?
Van Halen, Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper,
Johnny Cash, Depeche Mode, the Cure
and a lot of radio. Those were the days
when radio was actually good.
Describe
yoursongwriting
process.
Well, I just have a drink and sit down and
play. Ifl'm lucky, I have a recorder going,
but most of the time I don't because I
can't be bothered with all the technicalities that go along with making music. I'll
record a song with just music and I'll sing
syllables. Some sound like actual words. I
then go back and listen to what I've done
and try to make out the words, which, in
the end, make some sort of sense. It's all
stream of consciousness with music.
Whatis themostimportant
partin a song?
The melody is the basis for everything
I do.
Whatisyourfavoritepartof performing?
Getting lost. I love to get lost in it, I'm in
my own world.
Doyoupreferthestudioorthestage?
I prefer my basement, with loads
of booze.
Howhasbeinga motherchanged
you?
Giving birth is the greatest moment of a
woman's life, if she chooses that journey.
It's magical. Molding a mind is scary, but
it is, by far, my greatest accomplishment.
(wwwfeverqueen.com)[DahliaSchweitzer]
June 2009
I65
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Takin a Look Inside
Tap into a different kind of energy this month. By Rachel Pepper
Del LaGrace Volcano's photos capture the energy
and power of femme dykes, while lesbian writer
Achy Obejas paints a portrait of Cuba in the summer of 1994.
Femmesof Power:Exploding
QueerFemininities,
Del
LaGrace
VolcanoandUlrikeDahl(Serpent's
Tail):Few
queer photographers have both the observatory
Therecentreleases
from
and the visionary power of Del LaGrace Volcano.
mastersof the quillNikki
Giovanni
andMichelle Capturing the late 1980s dyke scene in his seminal
1991 collection Love Bites,Volcano immortalized the
Cliffarea balmfor that
one
moment when urban dykes were rowdy, tattoos
ill-at-easefeelingbrought
were
for outlaws, gay marriage was laughable and dyke
onbywatchingthe news.In
Cliff'sshortstorycollection bars teemed with girls who didn't resemble the cast
Everything
Is Now,moments of The L Word. Volcano went on to publish a book
aredisplayed
in meticulous (with Judith "Jack" Halberstam) about drag kings in
cross-section
to revealthe
the late '90s, as well as some European monographs,
depthof meaningin human
interaction.
Herfirst collection including the collection Sex Works 1978-2005. In
of nonfiction,
If I CouldWrite all of them, Volcano (previously known as Della
Grace) has both captured queer counterculture and
Thisin Fire(published
last
year),is a memoirfollow- helped to create it. In Femmes of Power, a collaboraingCliff'strajectoryfroman
tion between the Swedish theorist Ulrika Dahl and
Americanized
childobserv- Volcano, the lens is turned on dyke femmes through
ingcolorlinesin colonial photos, personal essays, interviews and letters. As
Jamaica,
to hereducation
diverse an assemblage of femme women as you could
in London,
to herreluctant
embrace
of life in theStates. imagine, the book includes bearded femme women,
multi-tattooed women, fat women and a mix of eth(Bothbooksareavailable
from
the University
of Minnesota nicities, nationalities and racial and gender identities.
Press.)In Bicycles:
Love While the book never coasts on queer celebrity, its
Poems(WilliamMorrow), subjects do include several well-known femmes,
Giovanni
opensandcloses including the filmmaker Pratibha Parmar, writers
withpoemsabouttragic
Valerie Mason-John and Michelle Tea, the musieventsin hercommunity:
the
violentmurdersin Blacksburg cian Bitch, members of Atlanta's Femme Mafia and
the Swedish Parliamentary member Josefin Brink.
byanescaped
inmatein
2006,andthe2007Virginia As befits Volcano's international queer citizenry,
Techshooting.
Theremain- the book includes, but never overplays, American
ingpoemsarea callto count femmes, giving ample nods to French, Swedish,
one'sblessings,
celebrating German and English femmes along with their North
loveinall its minorandmajor American sisters. Although most of the text is writkeys.(www.upress.umn.edu,
ten by Dahl, femme pioneer Amber Hollibaugh
www.harpercollins.com)
[Andrea
Millar] concludes by surmising succinctly that "Femmes of
Power is a book of survivors' tales. It gives us a place
to behold femme images, take risks and contemplate
setting off on dangerous journeys ... femmes matter ...
here:' (www.serpentstail.com)
authors, indy presses like Akashic Books have taken
up the slack. Building on a solid backlist of LGBT
authors, Akashic has just released Achy Obejas' newest novel, Ruins. Set in Cuba in the summer of 1994,
it tells the story of Usnavy, a man named with pride
by a mother hopeful about the American presence on
the island. Still optimistic about the promises of the
Cuban revolution, Usnavy gradually becomes more
aware of reality through the hardships he faces. The
novel tells of a society in rubble where there is no
reliable public transportation and no gas for cars,
tenements teem with new arrivals and a bright sun
shines down on a people hungry for food and for
change. As Usnavy watches his friends flee on homemade rafts, flocking to escape to the United States,
he begins to come to terms with the conflicts of his
family and his country. At the same time, he seeks
deliverance and gains understanding for the book's
main LGBT character, Raina, the transgender child
of a friend. Obejas, a native Cuban, has written exten__sivelyabout her homeland and is the author of many
novels and short story collections, including the
more LGBT themed collection We Came All the Way
from Cuba So You CouldDressLike This. In Ruins, she
successfully creates an empathetic portrait of both a
Ruins,
AchyObejas
(Akashic
Books):
As feminist presses country in crisis and a male character that women
close down and mainstream publishers drop queer readers will relate to well. (www.akashicbooks.com)
■
66
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Q+A
Andi Zeisler
Bleeding
Hearts
LindyCameron
(BywaterBooks)
FromBananas
to
Buttocks
MyraMendible
(University
of
TexasPress)
WhenanAustralian
TV
presenter
getsa death
threat,there'sonlyone Intheseessays,
smart-talking,
redhead- Mendibleprojectsthe
popularized
image
loving,bumbagof the Latinabody
wieldingdetective
for
thejob:KitO'Malley.
As throughthe lensof
critique.
Kitjuggleslife,loveand postmodern
a murderinvestigation, Readaboutthe rise
of theclassicfilm star
thesnappydialogue
LupeVelez,thecultural
keepsthesuspense
impactJ. La'sposterior
freshfromstartto
or theveryimportant
dramaticfinish.Fair
dinkum.(www.bywa- jobthat is beingSalma
terbooks.com/xcart) Hayek.(www.utexas.
edulutpress)
[AM]
[Andrea
Millar]
Periphery
Ed.LynneJamneck
(LethePress)
Thiscollection
of
lesbianstorieswends
its waythroughsci-ti
territorybothnewand
familiar:spaceships
andpolitics,interrogationroomsandfertility
rituals,dystopias
and
verdantterraforms.
In
fact,thedelectability
of
theseunearthly
scenes
cc
w
oftenovershadows
[ij
!::!. the steamy
action,but
that'snota badthingif
~ youlikeyourpornwith
~
w
a plot.(www.lethepLL
LL
ressbooks.com)
[AM]
~
_J
Cf)
Cf)
_J
_J
SantaOlivia
Jacqueline
Carey
(GrandCentral
Publishing)
It's a dusty,hopeless
existence
in Santa
OliviauntilLoup
Garron,
a fearless,
immeasurably
strong
girlwith hybrid-wolf
DNA,threatens
to upset
the military-imposed
order.Ca!ey'ssignature
eroticismandaction
drivethisfuturistic
werewolffableand
keepthepagesturning.
(www.hachettebookgroup.com)
[Rachel
Beebe]
For nearly 15 years, Andi Zeisler and Lisa
Jervis's unruly brainchild, the quarterly
Bitch:FeministResponseto Pop Culture,has
delighted and provoked anyone interested
in how pop culture hurts or helps women.
Seal Press recently released Zeisler's book
Feminism and Pop Cultureas part of its
Seal Studies series, complete with readers'
guides and extensive bibliographies to
accompany Zeisler's incisive, impeccably
researched essays on the relationship
between the women's movement and mass
culture from the 1940s to the present.
Zeisler deconstructs major pop-culture
phenomena and provides a comprehensive
introduction to key concepts that might
even release your inner bitch.
Howdoyoumanage
tospendsomuchtime
criticizing
popculturewhenit'sobvious
that
youalsokindof loveit?
I think I'm able to like the actual products
themselves a lot more now than I did 13
years ago when we started Bitch.I'm much
more likely to see the positive aspects of
what I'm consuming-which doesn't mean
that I don't see the negative ones, just that
I'm choosing to focus on what's interesting
to me. Seeing another in a series of 3 zillion
commercials where a housewife is enthusing about a cleaning product is vaguely
annoying, but I'd rather concentrate on how
much I like the female lead character on the
new HBO drama, or whatever.
Somepeoplearguethatcertainrepresentationsofwomen-especially
queerwomen,
womenofcolorandothermarginalized
groups-maynotbepositive
now,butare
"a goodstart."Whatdoyouthinktheright
response
tothatis?
I think any time there's a representative
of a marginalized or minority population
in a breakout show or band or whatever,
there are going to be people who don't feel
truly represented and are resentful that
they' re expected to feel satisfied with one
or two people or fictional characters who
are maybe sort of like them. I would never
tell anyone that they should be happy,
say, that there's a transgender character
on The L Word, or that they should now
expect to feel understood and validated
in the larger world. It's not helpful if the
representations don't do anything to
combat stereotypes: I would imagine, for
instance, that people who were longing for
more representation of bisexual folks in
pop culture weren't necessarily hoping for
Tila Tequila.
Youendyourbookwitha callto makepop
culturebetter.Howcanwe dothat?
If yc0ucruise around YouTube, there are
people constantly responding to, reworking
and spoofing TV shows and advertisements. And there's great industry criticism,
like Entertainment Weekly, and sites like
Television Without Pity constantly
nudging the bigwigs behind the studios
and the publishing houses, reminding
them that without fans there is no pop
culture. It's easy to assume that consumers
are less discerning because there's so much
more crap out there to consume, but you
could also make the opposite argument:
Pop culture is getting better because there
is so much to choose from and because,
increasingly, there's the option to not
simply consume, but to create.
What'sa totallycurrentpopculturephenom
you'reobsessed
withcritiquing
rightnow?
I don't know if I'm obsessed with
critiquing Facebook or just obsessed
with it, period. I guess both ... there are
so many people from my past who have
added me as friends but not sent a message of any kind. If I ran into someone
from elementary school on the street and
all they did was nod and keep walking, I
would think that was bizarre-but
that's
more or less what happens to me on
Facebook several times a week. It's virtual
nodding. [JuliaBloch]
June 2009
I67
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Livin in a Dream
Who says you can't have the life you want? By Candace Moore
My Home-YourWar
(Women
MakeMovies):
Australian
filmmakerKylie
GreyturnsherlensonLayla
Hassan,
anIraqicivilianwho
wantstheWestto hearher
story-and thetruestory
of hernation.Toldoverthe
courseof threeyears,beginningjustbeforetheU.S.-led
coalitionattackin March2003,
thisremarkable
documentary
reveals
therealityofthewar
in Iraqasseenthroughthe
eyesof anordinarycitizen
wholivedit.Thefilmtellsof
a dailyexistence
livedin fear
andfrustration,
survivalin the
harshest
conditions
andthe
tenacityof a womandeterminedto showtheworldwhat
warhasdoneto hercountry.
(www.wmm.com)
[Rachel
Beebe]
68
Icurve
Whether jamming in a Manhattan loft or frolicing in
the French countryside, this month women refuse to
take what life gives them. Born in '68 and The Guitar
open up a space for idealism and desire.
Bornin 168 (StrandReleasing):
This countercultural
epic begins dt:1ringFrance's May 1968 uprisings and
follows one matriarch's many lovers, friends and family members from those radical, revolutionary days
to more quiet ones in the Internet age. Refusing
notions of marriage, property and taboos around sex,
Catherine (Laetitia Casta) and her compatriots create
a leftist commune in the French countryside. It begins
as a nai"veproject-no one knows how to properly
repair the roo£ and food (besides produce from the
cannabis-overrun vegetable patch) is often sparse.
However, the young adults pool their resources and
frolic naked in the wilderness, weaving, collecting
flowers and making love as a collective. By the end
of the '70s, the more casual believers have abandoned
the dream, but Catherine remains, raising her two
children outside consumer society. Her daughter
Ludmilla (Sabrina Seyvecou) rebels from Mom's
hippie ways, while Boris (Theo Frilet) matures into a
gay activist who participates in ACT UP protests in
Paris throughout the AIDS epidemic. Powerful act-
ing, encouraging politics and historical accuracy over
a 40-year period grace this accomplished film about
living up to one's ideals. (strandreleasing.com)
TheGuitar(Lightning
Media):In the same day, Melody
(Saffron Burrows) gets dumped, loses her job and
learns she has an inoperable form of larynx cancer
that will kill her within a few months. About to
slit her wrists, she glances at a picture of a spacious
Manhattan loft for rent on a temporary basis. She
moves into the cavernous space, throws her clothes
out the window and lives like a monk, waiting to die.
Then she changes gears, pulls out a wallet full of credit
cards and begins to decorate her dream pad with the
most extravagant items, explaining that these things
speak to her in the "language of objects:' She orders
whatever's on special at all of local delivery joints
and fulfills her every whim, never leaving the loft.
Thus, the people who come to her door-the pizza
delivery girl, Cookie, and the guy who delivers the
furniture, Roscoe-become her lovers. She buys the
red Fender Stratocaster she always wanted, learns
to play it and is soon rocking out from mammoth
amps, alone in her home. This vibrant indie flick
is a reminder to live the life you've always dreamed
of-now. (www.media.lightningent.com)■
er
~
5
f2.
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~
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Q
Q+A
Planning
Parenthood
Melanie Salazar Case
Queer up,and,comer Melanie Salazar
Case's credits are nothing to sniff at. She's
a member of the popular San Francisco,
based improv group Killing My Lobster,
and she wrote, directed and starred in the
LGBT,themed short OrificeVisit,about one
woman's hilariously nightmarish experience
with a (male) gynecologist. Case is currently
starring alongside Margaret Cho in the
SXSW dark,c~medy hit The Snake.
Didyougetto doanyimprovin TheSnake?
There's a couple of scenes where it's just me
and Adam (Goldstein] driving around ...
trying to get the right backgrounds. We
didn't have enough scripted material. .. so we
were just kind of improvising.
Tome,thehardest
partof improvwouldbe
gettingovertheself-consciousness,
butyou
reallygoforit andbesilly-how doyoudoit?
I've tended to be a pretty uninhibited person
my whole life. When I was doing comedy
in junior high
and high school,
people would give me positive validation for
making [them] laugh. And a lot of times the
more extreme it was, the funnier it became.
WheredidyougettheideaforOrifice
Visif/
I had been given, by this kind of hippy
dippy friend of mine ... this natural guide to
taking care of your fertility, and there were
these disgusting pictures of cervices with
cervical fluid literally oozing out. And I was
like, "OK, I don't know what I'm going to do
with this, but I've got to do something:'
Whydidyougivetheendinga queertwist?
When I made (it] I wasn't necessarily set,
ting out to make an LGBT film, but it just
so happens that the character's arc, I felt,
would be best suited if she ended up being
a lesbian. It's a little bit self referential, too,
because I'm queer ... so it's kind of like a
coming out film in some ways.
[Rachel
Shatto]
If
I!;
}1
'
in Fertili!JAssistance,
Adoption,and Surrogary
Rebecca A. Clark,M.D., Ph.D.,
Gloria Richard-Davis,M.D., FACOG,
Jill Hayes, Ph.D., Michelle Murphy,J.D.,
and Katherine Pucheu Theall, Ph.D.
Armed with professional knowledge and
inspired by the experiences of others who have
gone before them, prospective parents will be
informed and reassured by this unique resource.
THE
... -
JOHNS
HOPKINS
UNIVERSITY
PRESS
1-800-537-5487 • www.press.jhu.edu
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andGeoffrey Alicein Wondertown Rick& Steve,
Man'sGarden
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(FirstRunFeatures)
Rick
&
Steve,
the
A movement-filled
Justouton DVD,this
"Whydoyoulet her
sexiest,smartest
toy
documentary
aboutthe surrealCubanfilm
goto school?"Sofia's
dancingduoCarmen causeduproarin Cuba figuresonTV,are
sisteraskshermother.
deLavallade
and
whenit wasreleased backwitha second
"Youknowtheysay
season.
From
lesbian
Geoffrey
Holder.
When in 1991andit was
sendinga girlto
musical
numbers
about
thecouplemetin the
yankedfromtheaters
artificialinsemination
to schoolis likewatering
'50s,deLavallade
was withinfourdays.The
anotherman'sgarden."
snarky
commentary
on
alreadyanestablished femalehero,Alicia,
pseudo-celebrities,
this Sofia,a younggirl
dancer,
andHolderhad is at thecenterof a
in Mozambique
who
seasoncomments
on
justarrivedin NewYork satireaboutCuban
dreamsof becoming
the
queer
community's
Cityfromhisnative
propaganda,
withthe
Trinidad.
Shetookhim mythicalWondertown mostpertinentissues a doctor,mustchoose
between
sleeping
with
underherwingand
representing
theworst withstyleandhumor.
herbiologyteacher
thetwoproceeded
to
Lesbians
being
forced
of civiloppression
dominate
theform.
to nametheirkid Dick or losingherchance
andcomplacency.
A
at admission
to the
to keepupthefamily
A celebration
of one
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remarkable
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tradition?Nowthat's
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REVIEWSTech Girl
Pushin the Ri ht Buttons
A place to call home for lesbian gamers. By DanieUe Riendeau
Mirror'sEdge(Electronic
Arts):Thisvibrantlycolorful
videogamewithgleaming
whitebuildingsandbright
redpipes,doorsandrampsis
fast-paced
andat timesdifficult.Theplotis easyenough
to follow:Undertheoppressionof anoverbearing
regime,
you,Faith,runmessages
for therebelsdemanding
freedom.Butthestorytakes
a turnwhenFaith'ssisteris
framedfor murderandit's
upto youto saveher.Giving
a nodto parkour,
thesport
of extremewalking(toput
it mildly),Faithruns,jumps
andswingsthroughthe
landscape.
Thedownside
to
thisgameis that it hasa firstpersonperspective,
soyou
neveractuallyseeFaithslide
underpipes,leapfromrooftop
to rooftopor shimmyupwalls,
andthe cameraanglescanbe
a bit dizzying.
Overall,
it's still
a fungameif youhavethe
patience.
Outfor PS3,
Xbox360andPC.
($40,www.ea.com)
[KatiePeoples]
70
Icurve
Until very recently, lesbians who called themselves video game fans had no place to call home.
That is, until founders Angela Simpson and Tracy
Whitelaw became fed up with the boy-centric
world of the gaming "blogosphere" and built their
own site, www.lesbiangamers.com, to accommodate
women of every description-especially, as the name
implies-lesbians.
"Lesbiangamers started because we realized there
were no dedicated lesbian gaming websites and we
felt like we wanted to give an alternative look at gaming to our community;' says
Whitelaw of their inspiration.
The site offers everything from
serious analysis of queer representation in the industry to
hilarious fantasy features on
'closeted" lesbian game characters. The Lesbiangamers.com
ladies call it 'gaming news with
a lesbian slant, articles and
game reviews with a little dash
of dyke:'
Readers know exactly what
they're getting into when they
spy the "because sometimes we
use our hands for other things"
banner winking at them from
just below the.site's logo.
'J\ngela asked me for a catchphrase for the site;' explains
Whitelaw, laughing. "I was in a bit of a playful mood,
as I tend to be. It was tongue-in-cheek. I mean, gamers, hands, lesbians-it's all interconnected rightt
Being extremely out-and playful about it-has
been a part of Simpson and Whitelaw's mission from
day one. "We have had people say,'Why do you need
to state that you're lesbian? Isn't just being a gamer
enough?"' says Whitelaw. "We get that, we understand it ... but, you know, there are gay gaming sites
out there, too. We're not lesbian gamers to be exclusive, we're lesbian gamers to show we exist:'
Simpson handles the day-to-day writing and
design for the site, while Whitelaw acts as the PR
representative and co-hosts their Gay Girls Who
Game vlog. The couple runs the site (along with
www.lesbiangeek.com) as a labor of love, without
much advertising support.
"We believe in it;' says Whitelaw. ''The support we get
from gamers who are lesbian and love the site is great:'
Both women are proud of the thriving community
that's grown up around Lesbiangamers.com, a fact
they chalk up to the site's "safe haven" approach.
"We are so lucky that the forum pretty much
runs itself. We have some great members who are
extremely active and very protective of the kind of
content that is on there;' says Whitelaw. "It is so nice
to feel safe and free in any kind of online community,
and we're so proud of that and want to maintain it:'
It's true that gaming is one of the few entertainment forms in which there's very little diversity, a fact
that Whitelaw attributes to the perception that "only
geeky boys" play games. But that certainly won't stop
these two from fighting the good fight, and cooking
up a few game ideas of their own in the meantime.
"If I were the one creating a lesbian-themed video
game-God help us all;' says Whitelaw, laughing. "I
personally would love to see a lesbian James Bondstyle game. You know, a very strong, female character,
baby butch looks, absolutely identifiable as a lesbian,
a female love interest, but of course gets plenty of
other interest throughout. (She'll have] lots of flirty
Bond-like lines and lots of action mixed with detectivestyle stuff to show off her brains:' She pauses, taking
stock of her proposal. 'Tm thinking I'm giving too
much away here!" ■
l
Pride of New England continued from page 58
A Tale of the Bionic Woman continued from page 41
expanded lobby, along with changing art exhibitions, make the Art House a must-see.
Spiritus Pizza is absolutely the most happening hot spot every night after the bars close,
as everyone gathers inside and out to devour
gourmet Greek pizza-and ice cream, too.
We rented bikes one day and rode out to
see the beauty of the cape. Enjoy picture-perfect views of the dunes at dusk and the sight
of the Atlantic Ocean. When you're ready
for some nightlife, you will be overwhelmed
with options during both Women's Week and
Memorial Day Weekend. The hottest lesbian
comics are always there. Last year's lineup included Suzanne Westenhoefer, Vickie Shaw,
Jennie McNulty, Mimi Gonzalez, Poppy
Champlin, Michele Balan, Kate Clinton and
many more fantastic up-and-coming comics.
The shows are intimate and fun, and you can
sometimes catch several in an evening.
When you are ready to go clubbing, head
for the PiedBar on Commercial Street and
work your way down. The Pied has a big
patio overlooking the water and spins great
dance music all night long. I also partied at the
Crown & Anchor-and even entered a wet
T-shirt contest. I was initially there to judge,
but ended up participating after Vickie Shaw
twisted my arm.
Vixen has a newly renovated state-of-theart dance club and a rockin' stage at floor level.
There are pool tables and a bar, if you want to
mix and mingle, or if you're looking for some
lipstick action, head upstairs to the wine bar.
Women's Week features singer-songwriter
folk-acoustic artists performing intimate
shows at a variety of venues. You might catch
lesbian icons like Cris Williamson and Holly
Near, or see the fabulous Catie Curtis or
Melissa Ferrick. If you have a chance to catch
P-town local Zoe Lewis performing live,
you must. Her show is the most refreshing,
quirkiest and most adorable thing I've seen
in years-she had me completely entranced.
Women's Week is a calmer, cooler folk scene,
as opposed to Memorial Day Weekend, which
is much more rock 'n' roll. Pick the right time
of year to attend, knowing that the crowd during Memorial Day Weekend is much younger
and very mixed.
Regardless of when you go, be assured
that your visit to Provincetown will leave you
feeling refreshed and alive. The classic New
England beach scenery combined with the
super-gay-friendly atmosphere make it a truly
one-of-a-kind lesbian experience. ■
Wagner still feels a deep appreciation for
her bionic experience. 'J\.ll these years later,
it still sends this wave of gratitude through
me that I was a part of that ...
because I know it's not just
me. I feel like it's the universe
and it's divine, because l want
to live my life in service:'
I can't imagine my life as
a child in the '70s without
the presence of the Bionic
Woman. The character still
represents a rare combination
of strength, independence,
intelligence and courage-
not to mention a knack for fashion and
accessories. Before there was Sarah Connor,
G.I. Jane, Trinity, Buffy, Xena, La Femme
Nikita, Seven of Nine, Lara
Croft, Tank Girl, Dana
Scully or Sydney Bristow,
there was a woman out
there paving the way and
melting hearts. In the place
where television nostalgia
meets timeless beauty and
power you'll find yours
truly flopped, on a beanbag,
watching old episodes of The
Bionic Woman. ■
Fertility and life is the rose. the sublime blossom.
the womb from which all enter the world.
Embrace your magnificent feminine self.
··'-:~. Pul»h~.
,
. . ·~
Lac.
.• www ... o .. u ■ Ll ■ HtND.DDM
EnJOYfamily.
Ertjoy life.
June 2009
I71
TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
ALASKAGLACIERS
& BAYSCRUISE
September 20-27, 2009
Sarah Katherine Lewis
HALLOWEEN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
The author of Sex and Bacon has us drooling. By Catherine Plato
October 25-November 1, 2009
It's easy to fall for the charms of this queer
author, online advice columnist and 10-year
sex work veteran. Her 2006 sex work memoir, Indecent: How I Make It and Fake It as a
Girl for Hire, and her 2008 essay-and-recipe
collection, Sex and Bacon: Why I Love Things
That Are Very, Very Bad for Me, reveal Lewis
to be funny, fearless and iiber-intelligentbut with a rare sincerity and vulnerability
that make her all the more appealing. Here's
what we love most about her:
1. Her rockerchick style. With hot, girly
curves, arms adorned in ink and hair that
occasionally changes color, Lewis is a selfdescribed 'chubby tattooed metalhead".
When choosing a "sexy"costume for an office
holiday party, Lewis rejected the traditional
and opted to go as Axl Rose. She wanted to
get in touch with "the kind of sexy that lives
in my pussy and lower gut;' she explained. "[It
was] more about the hot thrum I felt inside
than the way I looked on the outside:' Hot.
2. In a worldthatpraisesasceticwomen,she's
anunashamed
hedonist.
Lewis loves the things
society tells women they shouldn't. "I tend to
want what I want, and I tend to actively strive
and achieve what I want;' she says.
3. Shehasa rare,unparalleled
gift for writing
aboutmeat.I knew Lewis was special when I,
a lifelong veggie, found myself salivating over
her meat descriptions throughout Sex and
Bacon. Whale meat, she says, "was like eating every swimming, crawling creature in the
ocean, inhaling krill through gritted teeth. It
was like eating the ocean itself' The book's
smattering of recipes morph into wildly sensual, visceral and erotic experiences. And she
has this to say about bacon: "Each strip's fatty
section swelled and curled coyly in the pan,
making seductive popping noises. Shhhhhhh,
the bacon whispered, promising discretion:'
comes off as pretentious, punctuating her sassy
smarts with swear words-kind of like a badass brainiac older sister who used to cut class all
the time and still got straight /\s.
VALLARTAPALACE
RESORT
November 14-21, 2009
7. As a shameless,
nonironic,
hardcore
Britney
Spears
fan,shecallsoutthemisogynistic
mainstreammedia. Lewis makes a compelling
argument for the Mouseketeer turned tabloid
disaster as a feminist icon. "Britney is female
appetite. Britney wants. She wants food and
sex and love and trashy, sexy no-account boys:•
Lewis says the essay, which discusses body
image, desire and prescribed roles for women,
often brings her audiences to tears.
CLUBOLIVIAIXTAPA,
MEXICORESORT
January 23-30, 2010
AMAZON
RIVERBOATCRUISE
February 20-28, 2010
8. She'sreadyto age gracefully.As Lewis
approaches 40, she says you couldn't pay
her to live through her 20s again. "Women in
their 40s and above are incredibly attractive
to me;' she admits. "They're interesting and
4. She'steaching20,000peoplehow to have smart and not overly concerned with what
hottersex. Lewis writes the popular Ask people think about them. They have a wealth
Sarah advice column on www. of life experience. If you go out to dinner and
XToysUSA.com. "People send
talk, you know they'll be interesting:•
in their sex questions and I get
to write a sassy column;' she 9. She'sreal, relatableand sensitive.Lewis
says.Besides offering intelligent, admits that the work of a memoirist can
open-minded advice to people
sometimes get scary. "You open yourself up
of every orientation, Ask Sarah
to judgment, and I wish I could sit here and
is often hysterically funny and
be totally cool about it and be like, 'I don't
even a little flirtatious-watch
care what people think about me ...if they
out, Dan Savage.
don't like me, they can fuck offL.But that
is not me;' she says. "When people are mean
5. She'salso teachingwomen about stuff that I've admitted, it hurts my
aroundthe countryhowto love feelings:'
the waytheylook.A year after
its publication, Lewis is still 10. She'son her way to makinga film about
touring for Sex and Bacon, but
the sex industry-onethat's actuallyrealisrather than a straight-up protic and relevant.Lewis is in the process of
motional tour, it's evolved into
turning Indecent into a screenplay, hoping
to cast "some unknown, surly chubby girl" in
workshops at colleg~s on body
image, feminism and desire. the lead role. "For the screenplay, I'm really
(www.sexandbacon.com)
resisting the idea of showing the actress
nude or being sexual, because that's really a:
6. She has a killervocabulary, exploitative. I want to turn the gaze back on ~
~
which is super-sexy.
Lewis is the clients, which has always been my experi- fr
unmistakably clever but never ence;' she explains. ■
~
I
*
72
I curve
WESTERN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
February 28-March 7, 2010
CLUBOLIVIA
CANCUNRESORT
May 15-22, 2010
AFRICANSAFARI
ADVENTURE
October 15-22, 2010
olivia
Reserve your lesbian
dream vacation.
www.olivia. com/curve
or call 1.800.631.6277
,...S:rio
>81
V
ALASKAGLACIERS
& BAYSCRUISE
September 20-27, 2009
HALLOWEEN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
October 25-November 1, 2009
VALLARTAPALACE
RESORT
November 14-21, 2009
CLUBOLIVIAIXTAPA,
MEXICORESORT
January 23-30, 2010
AMAZON
RIVERBOATCRUISE
February 20-28, 2010
WESTERN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
February 28-March 7, 2010
CLUBOLIVIA
CANCUNRESORT
May 15-22, 2010
AFRICANSAFARI
ADVENTURE
October 15-22, 2010
olivia
Reserve your lesbian
dream vacation.
www. oLivia.comlcurve
or call 1.800.631.6277
BEING AHEAD OF YOUR TIME IS NEVER EASY. That's why one of our core values is to respect
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up to our name. We were the first to do things like offer insurance online and the first to let you
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curve
THE BEST-SELLING
JUNE 2009
I
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME 19 NUMBER 5
Publisher and Founder Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Diane Anderson-Minshall
Managing Editor Katie Peoples
Assistant Editor Rachel Beebe
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Music Review Editor Margaret Coble
Web Editor Rachel Shatto
Contributing Editors Julia Bloch, Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Gretchen Lee, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
Editorial Assistants Kim Bale, Andrea Millar, Nina Lary, Heather
Robinson, Yana Tallon-Hicks
PUBLISHING
Advertising Sales Diana L Berry,Rivendell Media
Advertising Assistants Hannah Bolton, LaKeisha Hughes
Social Networking Lindy Shelton
Riding the Wave
Anyone who has read curve for a while knows I'm a sports nut. A former
boxer, I get a thrill whenever I watch women athletes triumph. So I was
thrilled when a bevy of women came forward recently to let us know Amee
Donohoe was ready to go on record and come out publicly in curve. Don't
get me wrong-Donohoe,
one of the top-ranked surfers in the world, has
never been closeted, a fact that has kept her from getting-or rather, keeping-a major sponsor. As she says, 'Tm not going to surf in a bikini because
tits and ass are going to sell:' That's the same pressure women athletes face in
a lot of fields: coaches who don't want their girlfriends to sit courtside, managers who want them to femme it up, sponsors who wouldn't risk their tween
girl market by signing a tattooed, short-haired dyke.
Just like the great lesbian athletes who've already graced our coverMartina Navratilova, Missy Giove, Amelie Mauresmo and Sheryl Swoopes,
just to name a few-Donohoe
has had to forge her own path in a field that
can be both welcoming and hostile to queer girls. For that, and for her amazing layback snap, I salute her.
Donohoe is one of many amazing women in this issue, including Eden
Riegel ( the actor who, for years, played Pine Valley's lesbian heiress, Bianca,
on All My Children),Lindsay Wagner ( the original Bionic Woman and many
a '70s-era baby-dyke crush) and an expansive list of TV characters who we're
pretty sure were latent lesbians. Those last two stories are in our whimsical
little pop culture that made us gay section (OK, obviously nothing made us
gay-but you know what we mean).
And of course, it's Pride season, so we threw in a few different looks at
what Pride means to us, along with articles on the latest marriage wins (yay,
Iowa, D.C. and Vermont!) along with a couple of Pride destinations: Austin
(page 56) and Provincetown (page 58). Whether you're hitting a hot spot or
staying near home, here's wishing you a fun and celebratory Pride.
ART
/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Photo Editor Hayley McMillen
Production Manager Ondine Kilker
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
Web Producer Nikki Woelk
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Kathy Beige, Kelsy Chauvin, Jennifer Corday, Lyndsey
D' Arcangelo, Beren deMotier, Michele Fisher, Tania Ham midi,
Jodi Helmer, Kathi lsserman, Gillian Kendall, Kate Lacey, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Karlyn Lotney, Candace Moore, Aefa
Mulholland, Alison Peters, Catherine Plato, Aimsel L. Ponti, Laurie
K. Schenden, Kristin A. Smith, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Robin
Miner-Swartz, Kyra Thomson, Jocelyn Voo, Alison Walkley,
Melany Walters-Beck
CONTRIBUTING
IUUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Paul Michael Agular, Michelle Bart, Erica Beckman, Phil Cho,
Cheryl Craig, Tony Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Gabriela Hashun,
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Elisa Shebaro, Leslie Van Stelten, Katherine Streeter, Kina
Williams, Misty Winter
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ix:
LU
:x:
()
2
Icurve
BRID6ESTORE
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TO PROTECT
YOUR PRECIOUS
CARGO?
TURANZA™
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Features JUNE2009
34
Top Ranked Surfer Comes Out
Amee Donohoe is a Top 10 pro surfer. So why
can't she get a sponsor? (Hint: It rhymes with
"shmezbian.") By Gillian Kendall
38
AMC's Bianca Speaks
Soap star Eden Riegel dishes on playing a
lesbian and leaving ABC's All My Children.
By Jamey Giddens
40
Bionic Woman Lindsay Wagner
The '?Os TV star gets spiritual; we get fan girl.
Plus the 51 latent TV lesbians. By Aimsel Ponti
42
Carol Brady Goes Gay
There's just something about Florence
Henderson that makes us swoon. And the
animated hookups we always wanted to see.
By Kelli Dunham
52
Can This Marriage Be Saved?
Two dykes head to Buenos Aires for some
couples therapy-tango style! By Aina Hunter
56
Destination: Pride
Provincetown, Mass., attracts the ladies every
year but Austin, Texas, just may surprise you.
60
The Other Closet
Lesbians with disabilities deal with a double
whammy of a closet. Here, they tell their tales.
44
Pride,Baby!
Get Radical
These queers reject the mainstream. Bring
on the revolution. By Stephanie Schroeder
46
Are Lesbians Obsolete?
Lisa Haas tackles the demise of lesbianism
in her new show. By Stephanie Schroeder
48
As Goes Iowa ...
Will the first Midwestern state to allow gay marriage
create a domino effect? By Heather Tirado Gilligan
49
Prop. 8: So, What's Next?
We get the word from the lawyers battling for
same-sex marriage. By JD Disalvatore
page40
page52
"There'sa big riskin being
yourself,as a professional
surfer,and comingout."
Amee Donohoe > > page 34
41
curve
Departments JUNE2009
IN EVERY ISSUE
2
10
12
14
17
20
21
22
28
29
72
1,
15
Frankly Speaking
Letters
Contributors
24
Relationships: Ten things you learn
when you come out.
26
Health: Lesbians find acceptance and
help online.
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
Scene
Open Studio
Out in Front
Lipstick & Dipstick
30
32
Curvatures
Celebrity Gossip
LiRo is dunzo. Beth Ditto hooks up with
Evans. And who's been burned this time?
Politics
Looking back on 40 years of Pride.
-.
I Tried It
Top Ten Reasons We Love...
Dyke Drama
When saying sorry ruins the relationship.
AstroGrrl
Attacks on queers spike across the country,
Marge Simpson gets some girl-on-girl
action and LAVA showcases amazing
acrobatic talent.
18
A----~--
64
66
-
.
Music: Freak-folk. Gender-bending
cabaret. Ethereal indie pop. We've got it all
in this month's picks. Plus, Cortney Tidwell
shares her songwriting secrets.
Books: The much anticipated Femmesof
Power (above) gets us excited. Bitch
co-founder Andi Zeisler talks pop culture.
68
N
5
a:
~
5E
.iz
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Cl
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Film: The Guitar and Another Man's
Garden (above) get applause while
Melanie Salazar Case dishes on improv.
70
~
Tech: The women behind LesbianGamers.com tell us about their inspiration
-and their dream lesbian heroine.
:i:
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COMING
UP
From the Editor
I like to tell my
co-workers that
curve isn't a job
so much as it's a
lifestyle. At the very
least, working at
the biggest lesbian
magazine in the
country means
you're on, 24fl. Our
managing editor, Katie Peoples,
found this out recently at a friend's
birthday party. Someone let it
•
slip that Katie works at curve,
Dinah Shore has come and gone and thousands of lesbian revelers have slept off their
hangovers-but is Katy Perry (above) still giving
us a headache? Read our full April cover story
on the headliner and decide for yourself.
and she spent the next two hours
regaling everyone with tales about
c~lesbians and fielding ideas for
stories we should cover-instead
•
of eating cake and getting tipsy
I should thank Katie though,
because she, along with the rest of
the team, kept curve running while
I spent several weeks out sick this
•
Shatto even stepped in to help
Toshi Reagon Is Feeling Sexy
She's been making music for almost 20 years and she's still cranking out
sounds that are innovative, joyful and totally infectious. Find out what this
stunning creative genius has to say about beauty, the music industry and
why she feels sexy in the morning.
Katie and assistant editor Rachel
Beebe fill my (impossibly cute
Feminism and the Zeitgeist
"Is it a bad word? Of course it is," Bitch
magazine co-founder Andi Zeisler (right) wrote
in the Washington Post. That's precisely why,
she says, "no other title was even up for consideration." Zeisler's incisive
critiques have recently found another home in her new collection of essays,
Feminism and Pop Culture. She discusses both her publications on page
67, but you can find the complete interview with this unabashed, and
therefore completely compelling, thinker at curvemag.com.
with her friend.
month. Contributing editor Rachel
The Morning After
'
•
me, who mostly stayed in bed
watching reruns of Rock of Love
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Editor in Chief
s Icurve
Sapphic Salon
Award-winning authors KG MacGregor and Jlee
Meyer have long been darlings of the lesbian publishing world. Now, these two literary insiders talk books,
awards and smartass characters.
thanks to all the Curvettes, minus
and Dante's Cove. Enjoy!
w
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platform) shoes.
So, this issue is in your hands
~
•
The Full Pam Grier
You probably knew her as The L Word's Kit Porter,
but before that she was Jackie (right) and Foxy and
Coffy-aka the Queen of Blaxploitation. You read
about her remarkable film career, which spanned
both the civil rights and the women's movements, in
our May issue-now get the inside story from the icon
herself. And girl, does she have stories to tell.
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Love what looks ...
a little like you.
Stylish. Sassy. And the right size for every adventure. The Subaru Forester has what
you love, including curve hugging Symmetrical All-Wheel Drive and a powerful SUBARU
BOXER®engine. No wonder Forester was named Motor Trend's 2009 Sport/Utility of
the Year. It's as individual as you are. Love. It's what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.
SUBARU.
LETTERS
within the queer community and outside it_:
wherein trans people are painted as deceitful, imitative or imposters. Perpetuating
this mode of thought is hateful and
unfeminist, and it reifies the kind of logic
that seems to rationalize the disproportionate amount of violence perpetuated
against trans people (think Brandon Teena).
You should be ashamed of your~elf, for
claiming queer when it's convenient, or when
it makes you money, and for then disseminating this kind of hate into our community.
- Bridget Leising, Cincinnati
A TransTirade
I am a new curve subscriber. The April
2009 issue, in fact, was the first I received
and I was excited to see myself and my com:munity reflected in a publication. Imagine my
dismay, then, when I read your Dyke Drama
column entitled "A Casual Encounter" (Vol.
19 #3], in which you set up rules for safe and
respectful one-night stands and casual sex
encounters. After calling on readers to let
their potential sex partners know of their
kinks and fetishes ahead of time, you then
launch into a paragraph-long tirade rife with
what can only, honestly, be called trans-misogyny, trans-phobia and downright meanness.
Please know that my offense is not at
the idea of pre-negotiating sexual boundaries or attaining consent-it is, rather, at the
gender-essentialist way you construct trans
women as that-which-is-not-female, at I.east
not fully, and at least not until they undergo
surgeries or hormone-therapy to fit cultural
constructions of femaleness and femininity.
I fear this article is merely a symptom of a
much larger problem: that our societal ideas
of gender (trans and otherwise) reduce us
merely to flesh and body parts rather than
(a fuller] identity. Would you make the same
demands of a lesbian who had undergone a
double mastectomy-that
she admit it to
you within the first five minutes of meeting, over a gin and tonic in the bar, before
potentially bedding you? Probably not.
Your article is indicative of a problem I've
rubbed up against time and time again10
Icurve
people are confrontedwith differencewhen they
aren't expecting it, they can react in ways that
aren't always positive-and that is, I think,
pretty indicative of what Michele Fisher was
trying to get at. Should they react negatively?
Hell no. But do they? Yes. I'm sorry, though,
that itfelt to you like uncheckedtrans-misogyny
and trans-phobia, because I don't want you
to ever take that feeling away when you read
curve. I work very hard to make sure trans
women are welcomed and embraced by the
magazine and I hope you stay tuned to a few
more issuesto see how we do so.
Editor's Note: Bridget, we take your concerns From the Front Line
very seriously. If you keep reading, you'll see I really appreciated the article "Hostile
that curve makes a special effort to include Territory" in April's issue (Vol. 19 #3]. As
queer trans women in almost every issue and, an LGBT service member, I am constantly
besideshaving a specialtransgender
attempting to keep my sexualissue back in 2006 [Vol. 16 #7],
ity in the closet and, as the rest
two years beforeOut published their
of the world debates accepting
first transgender issue, we've had
LGBT individuals as they are, the
numerous profiles of trans performmilitary seems to want to forget
ers, authors and activistswe exist. Clearly, they know
we do, or the "Don't Ask,
from Candis Cayne to MC
Brennan and Alexandra
Don't Tell" policy would
Billings-in the last sevnot exist. I can only dream
that the fact that we are
eral issues. I feel proud of
Where's the best
the coverage we've given
willing to lay down our
place to meet women?
trans women (and somelives-but
deny ourselves
times trans men) and their
the chance to ever have an
27% Datingservices
issues, and I've gotten a lot
open loving relationship,
of thanks from transgenor bring our significant
25% At a lesbianbar
others to our promotion
der readers who are happy
24% Activities(sports,
ceremonies and eventswith it. I asked a hand.Jul
bookclubs,etc)
will earn a second look.
of trans women to look over
the Dyke Drama column
Maybe someday things
10% At a bookstore
in question, to make sure
will change. Until then, I
will serve from the closet.
it felt acceptable.A numAt the gym
8%
-Anonymous
ber of them said that honOna cruise
4%
estyprior to sex is the.safest
optionfor them. You asked
Straight Chicks
ifwe'dadvise a woman with 2% At the dogpark
Love Us
I'm
a lesbian in college. My
a mastectomy to tell her
According
to a curvemag.com
poll.
partner that she'd had surschool notebook always has
the current issue of curve·
gery. Truthfully, I would,
and we've had lesbianswith cancerwrite about stuck inside, just in case I get the opportuthat very subject before.I don't think you need nity to read it while I'm having some downto tell someone the minute you meet them that time. Last week, I was in the student lounge
you're a cancersurvivor or a trans woman, but having coffee with a friend when she asked
I do think that beforeyou go to their house with if she could see my copy of curve. After
the explicit intention of having sex that you do she had looked through it, it made its way
need to tell them, for your own safety and the around the room. All the girls were looking
protection of your own mental health. 'When through it and discussing some of the articles
Poll
•
5
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"I fear this articleis
merelya symptomof
a muchlargerproblem:
that our societalideas
of gender- transand
otherwise- reduce
us merelyto fleshand
body partsratherthan
[a fuller]identity."
(they loved Lipstick & Dipstick). It was
so fun to see all these people who were,
for the most part, married-with-children
straight women reading this magazine and
connecting with each other and with me.
Thanks for shining such a positive light
on the community in such a great way. It
does get around. Keep up the good work!
-Andy Hedberg, Seattle, Wash.
Like Nails on a Blackboard
Love your magazine, always have, from
way back. But with teachers highlighted in your magazine [Vol. 19 #3), I
cringed at your cover headline, "Who's
Exploiting Who?" Ain't (isn't) it supposed to be "Who's Exploiting Whom?"
- Jacquelyn M. Burrows, Hawthorne, NJ.
Copy Editor Katherine Wright's Note:
Who? Whom? Potato, pot-ah-to. Yes, you're
right. But, I thought it was brave to break
the rules on the cover (might sell afew magazines) and it reminded me of that burning
Katy Perry question-who's kidding who?
Corrections:
In our "Get Your Motors Running" pictorial [Vol. 19 #2), we wrote that Katie
Putman lives in Thousand Palms, Calif.
She lives in San Francisco. In "Bringing
Her Over" [Vol. 19 #3) we imply that a
state-recognized same-sex marriage will
be recognized in immigration petitions.
Only federally recognized marriages are
recognized, aka heterosexual marriages.
LUCIE
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GOTOWWW.WIAONLINE.ORG
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317.713.1144
FORAPAPER
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CONTRIBUTORS
Curve Gets Around
"It doesn't matter whether you're coming out about being a lesbian,
being disabled, or both. If you feel the need to come out about
it, it means there's still a stigma to it;' says contributing writer
Joanna
Solkoff,
who wrote"Common Grounds" (page 60). Solkoff
has been working with youth with disabilities since founding the
first disability rights organization, the Perfectly Able Club, at the
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. When asked to
speak at a conference on the subject of coming out to your date
about your disability, she realized there was more than one way
to come out. She posted on a Yahoo group to research the article and was surprised at some
responses from co,workers and friends in her small hometown: "So you' re a lesbian? I am, too!"
She continues to promote disability awareness within the gay community by approaching
gay organizations about disability issues and by writing articles. And she hopes, one day soon,
to form a joint organization for gay people and people with disabilities.
'Tm delighted to be continuing my stint at curve and have had the
pleasure of encouraging readers to check out many excellent books by
women authors over the years;' says longtime contributor and book review
editor Rachel
Pepper.
Curve's ongoing commitment to covering the les,
bian book world is something we, as a community, can really take pride
in:'After five years on the East Coast as a coordinator of Yale University's
LGBT Studies program, Pepper is back in the San Francisco Bay Area and
working at UC Berkeley School of Law's Center for Health, Economic
and Family Security. Her latest book project is The TransgenderChild:A Handbookfor Families
and Professionals
(Cleis Press) and her best,known book, The UltimateGuide to Pregnancyfor
Lesbians,has helped thousands of women realize their dream of becoming a parent.
"I think video games are on the verge of being the next great entertain,
ment form;' says contributing writer Danielle
Riendeau.
Her profile on
LesbianGamers.com founders Tracy Whitelaw and Angela Simpson,
"Pushing the Right Buttons" (page 70), was born of a desire to con,
nect with other lesbian gamers and prove that video games really aren't
just for 'geeky boys" anymore. Riendeau lives in Boston, where she
teaches writing and media courses and runs far too many miles in the
wacky New England weather. She has also written on all things geeky and game,related for
AfterEllen.com and GameShark.com and can also be found reviewing old lesbian movies on
her vlog, Retro Reviewing,at After Ellen.
"I started reading horoscopes as way to meet and impress girls;' admits
Charlene
Lichtenstein,
curve's resident astrologer and the author of
our monthly column, Astro Grrl. ''.And then I realized that I could
learn a lot about someone by reading her chart:' Lichtenstein says she
is descended from a long line of persons with extraordinary perceptive
powers. Her great aunt, Etta Weimar, was a famous Romanian card
reader to both kings and queens. Lichtenstein is the author of the best
seller HerScopes:A Guide to Astrologyfor Lesbians(Simon & Schuster),
currently in its seventh printing. She writes a variety of different horoscopes that appear
on her website, www.TheStarryEye.com, her blog, www.TheStarryEye.typepad.com and in
publications worldwide.
121curve
My partner and I just returned
from our European vacation. We
traveled to -London and Paris but
left our hearts in Madrid. We knew
that there was something very
homey about Madrid but didn't
exactly know what until we turned
the corner after sharing a kiss to
see curve on a newsstand! I never
knew you had such a large readership around the world. I could just
see the lesbian and queer women
of Spain flipping through curve
with their English to Spanish
dictionaries close at hand, reading the best lesbian magazine
in America-and apparently in
Spain, too.
-Former editorial assistant
Natalie Bell, San Francisco
Editor's Note: Thanks for the
photo, Natalie! Yes, we like to
imagine European women fawning
over our pages, too. In fact, we're
so taken with the idea that we're
launching a reader contest. Listen
up, readers! Send your photo
of curve in an exotic locale (a
French cafe? A campground in the
Mojave? Your hot tub?) to
letters@curvemag.com and
enter to win our curve Gets
Around contest. We'll pick a new
winner eve,y week in June and
post their photo on the home page
of curvemag.com. The grand prize
winner will have their photo published in print and they'll receive a
lesbo-tastic goodie bag, including
a year's free subscription to our
Digital Edition. Get
snapping, ladies,
and show us
PRIZES
what you got.
WORTH
OVER$75!
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VEGAS
Proposition Hate
A lesbian woman (known as Jane Doe, to protect her
anonymity) is gang-raped by four men in Richmond,
Calif. On her way home from a Minneapolis grocery
store, 32-year-old lesbian Kristen Boyne is beaten
unconscious by two men. These are just two of the
many hate crimes committed against LGBT people
in the past year, and experts say the problem is getting worse.
According to a report compiled by the National
Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP),
the number of reported attacks against LGBT people jumped from 1,486 in 2006 to
1,833 in 2007, a 24 percent increase.
Data isn't available for 2008, but the
number of attacks is expected to be
even higher.
"We do see correlations between
anti-LGBT initiatives and increases
in hate violence;' says Avy Skolnik,
NCAVP coordinator of Statewide
and National Programs."There tend
to be numerical spikes during periods of homophobic or transphobic
political campaigns. It is possible
that [pro-Prop. 8] campaigning
could be interpreted by some as
permission to act violently towards
members of our communities:'
Indeed, the nature of the crimes
indicates that they are reactionary.
The woman from Richmond was attacked when she
stepped out of her rainbow-sticker-adorned car. The
incident brings the issues surrounding the gay marriage debate off the front page and into stark reality.
"This person is a survivor, her partner spoke, she
has a child. All those issues don't always necessarily
come out;' says Tina D'Elia, of Community United
Against Violence in San Francisco. ''A lot of the argument behind the Yes on 8 campaign portrayed gay
marriage as anti-family and being disconnected from
all of that, which is obviously not true:'
D'Elia says that Jane Doe's courage and her honesty
about her sexuality is the reason for the strong community support ~urrounding the incident. Kristen
Boyne (pictured) of Minneapolis has garnered a similar following. In January, activists and friends in her
neighborhood organized a Queer Women's March
in her honor to raise awareness and demand that all
women should be safe on the streets at night.
"The response from the community was overwhelming;' says Andrea Sieve, one of Boyne's good
friends. "Once Kristen's story made the news, we had
people from all different walks of life reaching out to
see how they could help:'
Boyne was walking to a store a few blocks from
home one night when two men began calling her
a "dyke:' When she confronted them, they began
punching her and kicking her in the stomach.
"It was, no doubt about it, a gay-bashing incident;' says Sieve. Boyne's neighborhood is typically
a very gay-friendly area and
the community was shocked
at incident, which happened practically on Boyne's
doorstep.
"Since the march, we have
had an amazing response
from different organizatioi:is
within the queer community,
such as Outfront Minnesota,
locals, artists and community members and several local newspapers;' says Sieve.
''All have shown amazing
support and have stood behind Kristen and our cause
in an effort to get the word
out about the attack, as well
as raise money for Kristen's
medical and living expenses, as she has been out of
work for almost three months now:•
Sieve isn't sure whether the controversy over Prop.
8 and the rise in hate crimes are directly related, but
she does believe the growing presence, voice and support of the gay community may have something to
do with more recent violent attacks.
'fWith positivity, there' will always be negativity from those who do not agree," says Sieve. She
plans to keep the positivity flowing by making
the Queer Women's March (www.myspace.com/
queerwomenmarch)
an annual event. "We have
had such an overwhelming response from the
community and are thankful for all of the help we
have had in planning the Queer Women's March.
We are also extremely thankful for the help that
Kristen has received from community members
and people all around her who care about the
cause:' [KimberlyBale]
HITCHHIKING
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[HeatherRobinson]
June 2009
I 15
the rundown
Is MargeSimpson
playing for our team?
Everyone's favorite animated housewife
shared a smooch with friend Lindsay
Neagle on a recent episode of The
Simpsons.Sure, it turned out to be just
a figment of Homer's imaginationbut let the fan fiction commence ...
Rainbow baby alert! Iron Chefbian
CatCorais pregnant and her wife of
10 years, Jen Cora, just delivered a
son. The couple were already proud
mothers of two boys, ages 5 and
2-delicious!. .. Lesbians get the
coveted Oprah Winfrey bump
thanks to the April 2009
0 magazinearticle "Why Women
Are Leaving Men for Other
Women;' by Mary A. Fischer. first
SuzeOrman,
and now the rest
of us ... Hatemonger extraordinaire FredPhelps,
of "God Hates
Fags" infamy, was banned from entering
the U.K. Taking his hate parade abroad,
Phelps intended to picket a production
of TheLaramie
Project"We will continue to stop those who want to spread
extremism, hatred and violent messages
in our communities from coming to our
country;' a spokesman for the
U.K. border agency told the
BBC. .. A recent Australian
documentary 'outed" the
country's secret lesbian oasis:
AliceSprings.
The outback
town is remote and packed
with queer gals. Now that's what
we call "thunder from down under': ..
GayCities.com
has launched a free app for
the iPhone and iPod Touch that allows
users have location info on gay-friendly ,
bars, restaurants, hotels and beaches at
their fingertips. Now, where is the closest
girl bar?... HalaModdelmog,
president and
CEO of Susan G. Komen for the Cure,
was honored with the Healing Works
Award at the recent Mautner Projects
19th Anniversary Gala for her"outstanding service to the lesbian community"
and her work in promoting the importance of cancer early detection ... At press
time, the California Supreme Court has
yet to announce its ruling on Prop.8.
Let's hope Iowa, Vermont and D.C. sway
them. [Rachel
Shatto]
16jcurve
Lotsa LAVA Love
LAVA,the award-winning all-female acr.obatics, trapeze
and dance troupe, debuted we become with music and
text by lesbian powerhouse musician Toshi Reagon at the
Brooklyn Lyceum in February. The performance, which
focuses on the queering of female relationships, had a very
successful run in New York's largest borough.
"To have the luxury of a 12-run performance and be
able to sit up front, focus and have my life revolve, four
nights a week for a month, around contemplating the
performance and watching it become more juicy," says
Reagon, "was amazing."
According to LAVA's founder and artistic director,
Sarah East Johnson, "While we become is about intimacy
between women and not necessarily sexuality-and most, but not all, the members
are lesbian-we are all comfortable with the way we politicize our performance."
LAVA (www.lavalove.org) is director-led, but the entire group has a voice in the
performance. "The performers generated much of the material through assignments and also do a lot of improv, which helps keep it alive and personal," says
Johnson. "It's a process-a balance of individuality and collectivity."
This "movement ensemble" of artists who perform "acrobatic and feminist
feats" comprises six women, who create and perform in the group's shows. All
the women also teach movement, acrobatics and dance to neighborhood children
and adults. With a studio located in the Prospect Heights section of Brooklyn,
the women of LAVA,including Johnson, who founded the group in 2000, work in
tandem with the Brooklyn community to cultivate partners, performers, funders and
an audience. [Stephanie
Schroeder]
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1 Revelers at Dollhouse, Minneapolis 2 ProSuzy.com owner
Suzanne Noe at University of S. Florida's GALA 3 Dipstick
and Alison Bechdel at Portland, Ore.'s Wordstock 4 Musician
Ashleigh Flynn with contributing editor Stephanie Schroeder
at WFUV's On Your Radar in NYC 5 Girl Bar rocks Dinah
Shore 6 L&D with author LucyJane Bledsoe at Laurel Books in
Oakland, Cali£ 7 Cybill Shepherd at Cafe La Boheme's L Word
finale in WeHo 8 Rachel Maddow with GoGetYourGirlOn's
Nova Brown at a Mother Jones benefit in SF 9 At the Dinah,
founder Mariah Hanson and Work Out's Briana Stockton 10
Smitten Kitten's Jennifer Pritchett at the Quorum Community
Leadership Awards 11 Jen Corday and Vickie Shaw in
Provincetown 12 The L Word's Daniela Sea, Marlee Matlin,
Katherine Moennig and Ilene Chaiken at Cafe La Boheme
LESBOFILE
Gettingthe Upper Hand
Who's got leverage and who's just burned out? By Jocelyn Voo
TheEndfor LiRo
SamanthaRonsonand LindsayLohan are
officially splitsville according to Twitter, Us
Weekly and your mom. Cele-blogger Perez
Hilton is reporting that not only did the two
end things disagreeably, but also very publicly, by way of the social messaging service
Twitter, where Lohan accused Ronson of
drug use and infidelity.
Since the breakup went public, Lohan has
appeared on the cover of Us Weekly, speaking
openly for the first time about her love affair
with Ronson, telling the mag she's "so alone"
without her.
down last year, saying its sizing was "limiting:'
Look for the rocker- and vintage-inspired
capsule collection this July.
"I'm a CrazyPerson"
Since she won American Idol so many years
ago, KellyClarksonhas had a string of No. 1
hits ("Since U Been Gone;' "My Life Would
Suck Without You") that all have a common
theme: bad breakups. Which, of course, has
fans wondering: Since Clarkson's batting
average is so low with men, could she secretly
be playing for the other team?
"Lesbians tell it to me all the time;' the
singer told PopEater.com. 'Tm like, Tm glad
CoverGirlGoesCouture
it works for you and I wish I liked women
First BethDittoplays model and lands the like that, because oftentimes men are very
inaugural cover of Love, then the cover of hard for me, but I happen to like boys:"
Out and now the Gossip front woman is
"I could never be a lesbian;' she added. "I
stepping into the role of fashion designer would never want to date [someone like]
with her own collection for U.K. label Evans, myself, ever. I'm a crazy person:' Ah, little
a plus-size line. Of course, this could be inter- does she know (as every lesbian who's ever
preted as a snub to a certain retail giant, that had a U-Haul misadventure can attest),
regularly puts out celebrity lines (KateMoss, "crazy" is pretty much the ultimate aphrodianyone?). Ditto reportedly turned Topshop
siac. Kelly, you'd probably fit right in.
18 I curve
GirlFight
When CourtenaySemel, the daughter of
ex.:.Yahoo!CEO Terry Semel, gets burned
in a relationship, she burns right backliterally. A source told the New York Post
that after she and Band-Aid heiress Casey
Johnsongot into a huge fight, Semel "pro:ceeded to beat the crap out of [Johnson),
and then she lit her hair on fire. Casey had
to be hospitalized:'
Semel denies the allegations, saying they
are still friends. But she's got more immediate problems.
"My family cut me off;' she told the Post
in February, claiming that her trust fund was
frozen and her father wouldn't return her
calls. Apparently, the last straw was Semel's.
scuffle with a club security guard in Las
Vegas in 2008, when she landed herself in
jail after drunkenly screaming, "Do you even
know who I am, fucking idiot? Google me,
you dumb fuck;' and then punching him in
the face.
Looks like the old saying holds true: Hell
hath no fury like a lesbian scorned. ■
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OPENSTUDIO
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A P•inkCit Prate e
MademoiselleKat bringsher women to the streets.By Nina Lary
Mademoiselle Kat (www.mademoisellek.net)
doesn't reject the masculine-she just paints over
it. A female graffiti artist originally from Toulouse,
France, Kat works hard to give women a place in
the big city.
"The city is so male;' she says. ''A lot of architecture is male and the city needs a feminine sense for me. I
want the city [to be] more sweetie, sugar, babe!"
As a teenager in the '90s, Kat found inspiration in a
thriving scene of female graffers (a common term for graffiti
artists). In Pink City, as she calls it, Kat met Miss Van, a graffer whose female characters are both erotic and menacing.
"Here is the start of a real story of girls who paint with
pencils in the street in France;' she says. She and Miss Van
started painting together, bonding over a shared love of
color, cartoon, characters and graffiti.
Kat also draws inspiration from the energy of the city,
the solidarity of fellow graffers and a little ol' story about a
woman named Eve and a snake named Na'hash.
"I want to go deeper and deeper into the expression of
desire. The man is not the first on earth for me;' she says.
"The forbidden fruit is not only an apple:'
She enjoys recasting the flagship fable of female sin with
her own characters, which, she says, could all be the same
person. "I think the same woman can be a lot of women
in the same day. Our life asks of us this sort of multiplicity of identities:'
By bringing a colorful expression of the female and its
many faces-playful, sensual, colorful, joyful-into public
spaces, she hopes to create a social exchange. But the law
in France is growing increasingly harsh about graffiti, so
she can't always create murals on the spot. To avoid being
caught and fined, she sometimes paints on wallpaper first
and then pastes her graffiti onto the city's walls later.
Kat and her women have been welcomed in cities around
the world. Aside from shows in Paris and Barcelona, she
has painted at the Can!t Festival in Antwerp, Belgium and
at the International Meeting of Styles, one of the largest
graffiti events in the world. Kat was also invited by les
pekins de Toulouse, a French-Chinese artist exchange, to
paint a mural in Chongqing, a Chinese municipality with
over 30 million residents.
She looks forward to increasing her exposure with
more gallery shows but says the street will always live
inside her. "Urban art is one of the best expressions;' Kat
says. ''This is the true place for my women:' ■
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OUTINFRONT
Barin It All
These women aren't afraid to expose themselves. By Sheryl Kay
TheBestMedicine
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the class of 2009. It's been quite the journey
Uncomfortable situations plus humor equal for Higgins, who, just 10 years ago, was outed
accessibility. This is the equation that has in a journal entry that her mother read, and
guided TaniaKatanto an internationally sue, then was rejected by her suburban Chicago
cessful career incorporating comedy and parents, who told her she was sick and needed
breast cancer. Katan knows all about the lat, help. She was sent to a dozen different psy,
ter, having survived the disease twice, once chiatrists and psychologists, subjected to
at age 21, and again 10 years later. "Being ill blood tests to check her hormone levels, and
and solemn is a bit redundant;' she says. "If I sent to a gynecologist to be certain noth,
weren't able to see the absurdity, levity, com, ing was "physically wrong:' From the age of
edy in my illness, then I would just grab a , 16 until her 18th birthday, Higgins was not
bottle of Jim Beam, a rusty razor
blade, turn on Elliott Smith and
end it all, you know:"'
An awareness activist, Katan,
now 37, can often be seen run,
ning topless in 10k breast cancer
research fundraisers. She does this
not for shock value, but as a visual
reminder of why the runners are
there in the first place. Lesbians,
she notes, are among those who
are most in need of a reminder to
get checkups. "As far as lesbians
and breast exams go, it's our job
to touch each other's boobies;' she
says. "I have no idea why women
wouldn't want to keep tabs on each
other's breasts:' Recently, Euro,
pean fans were enthralled with
Katan's solo performance, Saving
Tania'sPrivates,at the Scotland's Edinburgh
allowed to leave home unless she was escorted
Fringe Festival. Rave reviews have led to talks by a family member and was not allowed to
about a possible film based on the show.
use the phone or the Internet, or to watch
Without diminishing the severity of can, TV. Falling into a deep depression, Higgins
cer, Katan says her illness hasn't been all bad. contemplated suicide. Then, one day, she
"Having cancer two times before my 32nd decided to get out. "I made a conscious
birthday has offered me insight that most decision to take control of my life and to stop
people my age don't have access to;' she says. allowing my parents to decide my worth or
"There's something freeing about knowing you my fate;' she says.
can kick cancer's ass a few times. It frees you
Higgins put all her energy into starting
up to live your life with more urgency, humor the first GSA in her high school and, at 18,
and love:' Be on the lookout for Katan's newest literally pushed her father out of the way,
book, which she is finishing this year.
left home and, by working dozens of jobs,
financed her undergraduate education while
TakingControl
maintaining honors status at the University
Today, 26,year,old LindsayHigginsis poised of Illinois at Urbana,Champaign. She then
to graduate from Tulane Medical School in went on to Tulane as a recipient of a Point
Foundation Scholarship.
While keeping med student hours,
Higgins also managed to serve in numerous
volunteer capacities, including two years with
a hospice, and as an in,home care assistant
for people with disabilities. Most recently, she
helped to found Flambeaux, a New Orleans,
based LGBT support group for the under, 18
crowd, the first such group to organize since
Hurricane Katrina. "I realize that I've ben,
efited from many opportunities that others
, are not afforded, so, for me, it is also
important to give back to the com,
munity;' she says.
Strategistfor Progress
After working for more than 10
years in health advocacy and politi,
cal strategy at the Human Rights
Campaign and eventually becoming
vice president, WinnieStachelberg
has
met her fair share of political heavy
hitters. "I also traveled around the
country meeting LGBT folks and lis,
tening to them share their stories;' she
says. "I am truly lucky:'
Stachelberg also spent three years
in the Office of Management and
Budget as a career budget exam,
iner in both the George H.W. Bush
and the Clinton administrations. "I
learned so much about the federal govern,
ment, healthcare policy and how D.C. works,
or doesn't;' she says of her time there. She
eventually went on to join the Center for
American Progress, a progressive think tank
started by John Podesta, President Obama's
transition team leader. The group's goal is to
help refocus national attention away from
security issues and onto education, healthcare,
the economy and energy policy. As senior
vice president for external affairs, Stachelberg
takes people's ideas and helps to inject them
into the political debate-turn
them into
action and policy. Lesbians, she says, face
unique hurdles, especially during tough eco,
nomic times. As debates heat up, lesbians must
be a part of the conversation too, she says. ■
June 2009
I 21
ADVICELipstick & Dipstick
Summon Your Pride
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: When I came out
to my Christianfamily,they kicked me out that
very night. For the next year,I receivedphone
calls from my parents begging me to repent
and come home and letters from my younger
siblingstelling me they missedme and asking
me why I left. Sadly,the girl I was dating was
dishonest and immature,so the relationship
didn'tlast.Bythistime,I was so desperate
to •
seemybrothers
andsisters,I decided
to tellmy
momit was all a mistake.It's beenso goodto
getto seemysiblings
again.Lastyear,however,
I met an amazingwomanwho makesme feel
completely
loved.I wantto shareher with my
family,but I can't becausemy momand dad
havesaid they'd completelycut me off if I ever
"fall back into that." My sistertold methe same
thing.Jugglingmytwo livesis verydifficult,and
I wouldjust tell themanddealwith it, but I absolutelycannotput my siblingsthroughthat again.
Thestressof comingup with lies to placatemy
family is wearingme out.LastweekI was diagnosedwith MS,too, and I am so scaredabout
whatto donow.- TheClosetIs KillingMe
Lipstick:
Wow, if there was a way I could give
you a hug right now, I would. There is no
easy way out of your situation. You have two
choices: speak your truth and deal with the
fallout or stay in this toxic mess and watch
it (most likely) destroy this
new love. You say you don't
want to put your brothers
and sisters "through that
again;' but what about
your needs? Your quality
of life? Your happiness?
Don't they count for something? Eventually, your
family will realize they' re
going against Jesus' grain
by judging you so harshly.
Hypocrisy is the bane of
society. Closet Girl, you are
far more courageous than
you realize, so grit your
teeth and face this wrath.
Your family loves you
and the world is changing
faster than I can type, so
be hopeful, be strong and
believe in who you are.
Also, check out this online
resource for support www.
whosover.org.
Dipstick:
Lipstickis rightyou need a hug. But you're
going to need a whole lot
more than that right now.
I'm worried about your
health. Rarely would I
advise someon~o stay in
the closet, but ifby coming
out you lose your family's support forever,
then maybe, in this instance, it's not worth it.
I need to know that you have the resources to
face chronic illness. Do you have good medical insurance, financial resources to get you
through if you can't work, and an extended
network of friends who will support you
if you need it? Talk to your doctors. Get a
good therapist. The stress from your strained
relationship with your family could very
well be making your illness worse. Here's a
hug from me, too.
DearLipstickandDipstick:I recentlymeta girl
onlineandthingsaregoinggreat.Weonlyhave
one problem:She has a girlfriend.I'm really
beginning
to fall for her,andwheneverI bring
up the topicof her girlfriendsheshrugsit off.
ShouldI moveonorwaituntiltheybreakup?I'm
beginning
to feellikea mistress.
- SuzyQ75
Dipstick:That's because you are a mistress.
At least she told you she has a girlfriend.
Be thankful for that. Either she's poly or a
player. Even though I give her props for disclosing the girlfriend, she's not being honest
with you about her intentions. Time to drop
her like your old dial-up ~onnection.
Lipstick:Cack! While I think the Internet is
a great place for singles to meet each other,
what's happening here is an online cancer in
our community. Unless you want to get hurt,
stay away from this double-dipping dyke.
Find someone who's actually available and
you'll have much more fun getting to know
her and imagining your life together. Besides,
when you finally do meet one day, you won't
have to wear a bulletproof vest or keep your
eye on the bushes for her girlfriend.
DearLipstickandDipstick:
I onlyrecently
came
out and haven'twantedto date anyoneyet
becauseI don't know what the etiquetteis
surrounding
bodyhair.I don'tlikeremoving
my
bodyhair,butI dotrim.Isthelesbian
community~
a:
moreopento femalebodyhairthanthe hetero- ~
w
sexualworld,or am I stillgoingto be unusual? a
~
- Hirsutein EastHempstead
:E
TOPTENTHINGS
OVERHEARD
ATPRIDE:
10
Wasn'thea womanlastyear?
very different bushy corners on this issue.
Since you're a self-proclaimed trimmer,
why not try one of these muff-dos for your
first hookup?
"'
"'
9
Dirty "V":Some say it stands for
8
"victory," that if you've gotten far
enough to see the "V" shaved onto
your lover's soft upper pussy it's
just that-a victory. You've won.
Others call this the "V" Formation, a
nod to the many birds that migrate
each year (you guessed it), south.
Thisis my bestfriend.
Sheis my girlfriend'sex-girlfriendandwe
datedfor a while,too,whenmy girlfriend
andI tooka shortbreaklastsummer.
I think I just heardsexsounds
in the Porta-Potty.
7
Thatgirl just flashedme!
6
Whereis the beergarden?
5
Is that a hotwomanor a dragqueen?
4
Someone
farted.
3
Haveyourpeoplecall my people.
2
Curve PrideSpecial:
One-yearsubscriptionfor only$15!
1
AreLipstickandDipsticka couple?
Dipstick:
Welcome to the lesbian world, where
hairy is hot! Don't worry, you won't have any
problems attracting women with bushy pits
and furry legs. As a matter of fact, for most
lesbians, the extra hair is a turn-on. You may
find one or two gals who are still waxing their
bush, a holdout from their closeted sorority
days, but take notice when you're dancing at
the dyke bar-you'll
practically see pubes
poking out of their designer jeans.
Lipstick:I'm not sure what gorilla planet
you're living in, Dipstick, but it's not my
gay world. You get turned on when you see
pubes poking out of jeans? (Chill down my
spine.] Not this lezzie!
Dipstick:Forget what Lipstick says and just
make sure to do what feels comfortable.
After all, it's the self-confident swagger that's
going to bring the girls to your yard, not how
neat your shrubs are.
Lipstick:Hirsute, don't listen to Dipstick.
She's stuck in the '80s, and we are in two
Sassy Sphinx: Remember the hairless kitty in Austin Powers? Need I
say more?
The Berm: If your hair is long
enough, a bush perm might be
right for you. The chemicals can
burn, but it's trendy with Roller
Derby girls.
Pullet (aka Pube Mullet): A good
choice for those who aren't ready
to get rid of the thicket. To outsiders,
this girl looks like she's au nature/,
but then springs one on you when
you get down there. It's hairy on top
for sex appeal, but shaved down
below to provide a clean palette for
the party.
Vaginaromo: Rumored to be
popular in Italy. I've only heard of
this, never actually seen it in person.
It may be an urban myth, as it
involves hair dye and barrettes.
MammaMia!
The Runway: The top choice for
budding lesbians, who are just
beginning to explore another
woman's body. Here, there is
enough hair to remind you she's
of age, but not enough to eclipse
the sun. It practically comes with
instructions and a directional that
says "Right here, baby." Orange
traffic-controller flashlights optional.
Got a relationship problem? Don't know
what to do? Watch brand
new episodes of The
Lipstick & Dipstick Show
at curvemag.com.
DAMR N
VACATIONS
VISIT:
DAMRONVACATIONS
.COM
CALL:
1.888.850.6585
ADVICERelationships
Lookin Back at the Closet
Ten lessons you' II learn after you come out. By Kate Lacey
They say that in some situations hindsight
is 20,20 and coming out of the closet is one
of them. You won't know what will happen
until you do it, but here are some realiza,
tions that might help you on your way.
you had to pretend you were just two old
pals, in case someone you knew showed
up at the bowling alley. The brain power
required to hide a significant part of your,
self from others can be used for better,
more noble purposes, like curing cancer or
1. Thenewsmightnotshockyourlovedones. writing the script for a lesbian drama that
You fear the rejection that may come after
actually resembles real life.
their surprise that you duped them with
your clever masquerade for all those years. 5. Comingout is a continuous
process.Most
But, once you tiptoe out of the closet,
of us don't get to give a press conference or
maybe no one will even bat an eye at the go on national news to declare 'Tm out!" to
news. The most common response might
the world. If this were the case, it'd be over
be, "It's about time. You were, like, the
and done with, everybody would know and
last to know." Many times, it is your own you'd never need to discuss your sexual,
sense of denial that is pushed up against
ity again. The truth is, we come out to our
the closet door.
families. Then, we come out to our friends.
Then we come out at work. Then we make
2. It's OKto sayyou'regay,bisexualor trans- new friends and have to come out to them.
gender.Call your sexual identity what it is. Coming out is not a single event; it is a
Many gay people do not appreciate it when
series of conversations. It gets easier over
you say, 'Tm not gay or bisexual, I just fell time. You'll learn when to have the sense to
in love with another woman." Hello! Why
come out and when it's nobody's business
not just wear a shirt that says 'Tm not a who you shack up with.
lesbian, but my girlfriend is." What's in a
name? Only courage and the empowerment
6. Youdon'tneedto pushthe issuewith your
you feel when you give your love the respect
family.If you have the kind of family that
it deserves. There's no shame in saying that
doesn't really want to discuss your sexu,
you're bisexual, ambisexual or even plain
ality, but they also didn't go the route of
old ordinary homosexual.
kicking you into the street, you do not need
to have that awkward conversation with
3. It's lonelierinsidethe closetthanout.Your them more than once. There is no need to
ticket to gay parades in bright sunl~ght, turn every family gathering into a group
bars where you can grind with a same,sex
therapy session. If they don't ask you about
partner and websites where you can use it, but treat you the same and treat your
your full name is waiting to be punched.
partner respectfully, then why rock the
The fear of rejection and ridicule is doing
boat? However, you may have to come out
nothing more than keeping you isolated.
to your grandmother over and over again,
You'll find more dates by getting out there
because she has lost touch with reality and
than you ever will slow dancing with the forgets what you already told her.
Odor Eaters in the walk,in.
7. If peoplecan't embracethe real you,then
4. You'llfree yourmindfor otherthings.Do youdon'twantthemin yourlife. Send those
you realize how much energy it takes to folks off to the White Sale to buy a new
swap pronouns in advance of using them?
sheet to wear at their next cross burning
Changing all those "she"s to "he"s as you tell and don't waste your energy missing them.
the story of your hot date last weekend is
exhausting. And that's the hot date where 8. On the other hand,sometimesit's OKto
24
Icurve
forgiveyour lovedones. If your family or
friends can't accept you as a gay person, try
to keep a door open and an olive branch
extended. Be the bigger person, especially
if the person, say your grandparent, is ill.
In the end, it will make you feel better that
you didn't shut them out.
9. Onceyou'reout,youcanneverreallygoback
in.That's like trying to fit into your old prom
dress. You can do it, but it's not pretty.
10. Half the peopleyouwent to schoolwith
are gay.The fact that all those high school
and college classmates are out and proud ~
makes all those years you felt so different ~
into a gay ironic comedy. If only you had ~
0
known, the crowning of the homecoming
~
queen would have taken on a whole new ~
meaning. ■
I
~
One is good. Two is better.
Three is a party.
Four is totally Sweet!
SOUTHWEST.
proud member of
I LTA
•'7o"'uthwest.com/qaytravel •
OFFICIAL AIRLINE
CALL 877 793 3830
DISCOVER SWEET.COM
Sweet is a Registered Seller of Travel
in the State of California CST# 2091755-40
ADVICEHealth
ComingOut at the Keyboard
An online counselor talks up the benefits of Internet therapy. By Dr. Barbara Nefer
You're fighting with your partner and you
both want counseling, but seeing someone
in your tiny town isn't a viable option. Or
maybe you need someone to talk to, but
you're still coming to terms with your sexuality, so you're not comfortable discussing it
face-to-face, especially with a stranger. In
either of these cases, where do you turn?
More lesbians are finding that immedi-
26
ate, private help is as close as
their keyboard. Licensed professionals are available 24/7, through
online counseling services like
LivePerson.com.
You'll know
right away which counselors are
lesbians, or at least gay-friendly,
because many declare their own
sexuality or invite lesbian clients.
"When I was just starting to
admit my sexuality, I couldn't talk
to anyone about it;' says "Carla;' a
25-year-old lesbian who came out
last year. "I was married and had a
kid, so I wasn't going to walk into
a counselor's office. The only way
I could handle it was by talking to
someone anonymously:'
Online sessions take place via instant messaging. Many services handle the billing and
are able to shield the client's identity. If you're
not comfortable with the counselor, you can
instantly end the session.
I am an online counselor, and almost half
my clients are lesbians and gay men. The two
most discussed issues are preparing to come
out and relationship problems. I always
hear "This is so much easier than going to
someone's office:'
Most of my lesbian clients live in the
United States, but I've worked with women
around the globe, from India to Australia.
Internet therapy means that gay-affirming
professionals are available to women in countries where lesbians are still stigmatized.
Other barriers to face-to-face counseling, both in the United States and abroad,
include living in a small, conservative
community where confidentiality is difficult
to maintain, being at a questioning stage of
coming out and being afraid of the counselor's disapproval. When you're online, no
one else knows your business and you can
instantly "fire" an incompatible therapist.
If you need counseling, you should get itand now, help is literally at your fingertips. ■
Barbara Nefer is a doctor of psychologywith
several years of online counselingexperience
and a highpercentageof LGBT clients.She is
alsoafreelancewriter with an upcomingbook,
So You Want to Be a Counselor.
~@®11@
~~®11@
Lesbian, gay and
bisexual adults are
twice as likely
to have a history
of depression or
anxiety, according
to researchersin the
U.K. who examined
25 past studies of
sexual orientation
and mental health.
LGBT respondentswho said
they needed help with a
mental health concern over
the prior year but didn't seek
treatment, accordingto a 2007
study,Mental Health Services
Access for SexualMinority
Individuals.Mistrustof providers
and concernsabout findingan
affirmativecounselorplayed into
a reluctanceto get help.
Icurve
Respondentswho had
no health insurance
coverage, according to
the same survey. Because
most insuranceproviders
won't pay for online
counseling,it's often priced
more affordably,to make it
availableto clients paying
out-of-pocket.
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©McNEIL-PPC, Inc. 2009
Fold this pillow in half.
If your pillow at home bends like this
and stays bent, it's time for a new one.
If it bounces back, you're good to go.
A bad pillow can mean a bad night's sleep. If your pillow doesn't
provide proper support, it can lead to pain and sleepless nights.
TYLENOL®PM Rapid Release Gels can ease the pain and contains
a sleep aid that, when used as directed, is non-habit forming.
How's that for being supportive?
Feel better,
TYLENOL.
PM
Use only as directed. Do not take TYLENOL®with other products containing acetaminophen.
tylenol.com/glbt
ASTROGRRL
Take It to the Streets
Sexy secrets, big risks and plenty of fun in store for June. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Gemini(May22-June21)
Sex: A secret crush makes herself known. Will you
return the attention? Career:Sweep out the cobwebs
on the job and begin to plan some new maneuvers.
Not only can you move and shake, you can rearrange
the landscape-'bout
time.
Cancer(June22-July23)
Sex: A particular gal pal has her eye on you. A steamy
June is in store for all Crabs who want to cook. Gather
all your friends and see who is wearing the apron ...
and nothing else. Career:
Join new groups and expand
your corporate outreach. There is strength in numbers, especially when preceded by a dollar sign.
DOUBLE YOUR
PLEASURE WITH
A GEMINI
Geminigalsaresomeof the
fewtrulygiftedacrobatsin the
zodiac,blesstheircreativelittle
souls.(Askherto showyouthe
bananatrick... ) Whattheylack
in stamina,theymakeupfor in
enthusiasm,
sleazypillowtalk
anddirty,delicioussurprises.
Thereis notellingwhatyou
will find in herboxof treats,
buteatthemquickly,beforeit
disappears.
If you'relookingfor
a relentless
bulldozer,
choosea
Taurus.Forburstsof excitement,yourgalis the pinkTwin;
shelikesto doubleherpleasure
andcomesin pairs.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Sex: Lionesses are on the prowl for love at work. Is
this advisable? Only if you're hungry for a particular
perk. Otherwise, search for love after hours. Career:
You are a corporate powerhouse. Mark your territory
and make your move. There is money to be made in a
good idea. If you can't think of one, steal it.
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Sex: Spice up your love life with some different toys
and positions. Better still, try a new locale. Heck, any
excuse for an exotic vacation. Career:
Taking a creative
approach to an old problem will yield great results.
Better still, get a group together to brainstorm. Do I
hear thunder?
Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
Sex: Relationships can be made or laid this June.
What do you need? Who makes you happy? Now
get out there and look! Career:A mentor will help
you out on the job. Some things you can control, others you can't. Know when to let someone else drive.
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Sex: Strenuous exercise will make you ravenous and
passionate. Don't waste all that great energy on the
treadmill. Career:
Forge new business partnerships and
liaisons this June. You can sell the Brooklyn Bridge to
anyone, but how will you deliver it?
Sagittarius
(Nov.23-Dec.22)
Sex: Not only do you have great reserves of energy,
you also have a long to-do list. Hm, how many names
28
Icurve
are on that list? Career:A light flirtation bubbles up
at work. But do you really need the complication?
Who will ·do your filing when the champagne bubbles pop?
Capricorn
(Dec.23-Jan.20)
Sex: Take a risk this June. The sky is the limit, so don't
be shy. You become the planet around which all lesser
orbs orbit. Who will you pull into your atmosphere?
Career:
There are those at work who think that you are
a genius. Prove them correct this June and paint few
artistic flourishes on the usual wonky memos.
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Sex: June is the month to relax around the house and
cocoon. Invite some bosom buddies over for a pajama
party ... pajamas optional. Career:
There is a woman at
work who gives you a helping hand. Notice her and be
suitably grateful. Next month it's your turn.
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Sex: You can charm just about anyone this June. Will
you waste your hon mots on just another pretty face
or will you go for substance? Ah, typical! Career:
Find
opportunities to showcase your job knowledge this
June. You have a lot going for you. Use it before it is
going, going, gone.
Aries(March21-April20)
Sex: June rocks to your roll so make your sexiest
moves now and see how far you can take any romantic encounter. Keep counting, sister! Career:Hard
work pays off this June and it's about time. Will you
spend your dough with reckless abandon or save it all
for a rainy day? Let's guess.
Taurus(April21-May21)
Sex: You become the epicenter of adoration and
receive loving attention through the month. Be sure
to dress the part ... or is that undress the part? Career:
You make a powerful impression on the powers that
be. How good an impression is up to you, though. ■
AstrologerCharleneLichtensteinis the author ofHerscopes: A Guide to Astrology
for Lesbians. Get more at thestarry
eye.comorgotoherblogat thestarryeye.typepad.com.
ITRIED
IT
Dom for a Day
Ever consider taking up the whip? By Victoria A. Brownworth
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Admit it, with the economy tanking, you've
sat around with a bunch of female friends
and said,"Well, I could always be a (fill in the
sex,worker job here]:•
OK, maybe you only thought it. You never
got closer than looking at those advertise,
ments for phone,sex, massage parlor, strip
club or escort jobs. But you did
think, Would it really be that
difficult if you didn't actually
have real sex? Then you turned
the page. I didn't turn the page.
I made the call.
I'll admit it wasn't my first
foray into sex work. I'd been a
nude model in college. I'd also
been a nude dancer. It wasn't
fun, but it wasn't hard. I made a lot more
money dancing than waitressing, and I never
had to touch anyone.
Now I was older and wiser-and,
I
thought, much better, after years of being a
writer, at using my diverse verbal talents. I'd
been publishing erotica, pornography and
sex tips for years, in addition to my seri,
ous writing. I'd given sex workshops both
for lesbians and for straight women. I'd done
seminars on SIM and bondage and discipline.
How hard could it be to turn all this
working knowledge into a job that would
subsidize my writing? I thought.
Was it all those years in Catholic school
that made me think "dominatrix"? Or all
those years of teaching German cinema,
combined with my white,blond hair, 5,foot,
9,inch frame and 40D breasts that just
screamed leather bustier, high,heeled boots,
cat o' nine tails and black lipstick?
One thing I have learned as a tall, femme,
dom lesbian is that tops are in demand. And
what I know from watching Wall Streeters
lick their lips during Congressional hearings,
a?d Republicans getting caught in fiagrante
brothello,is that straight men in power like to
be on the bottom as much as butch lesbians
like to turn those same tables-as long as no
one knows about it.
The thing about sex work is that it
always looks more glamorous online or in the
movies than it does up close and personal.
You have to get into the persona and enjoy
the role,playing to make it work. I already
knew from my college jobs that being naked
in front of strangers was not as much fun as
Demi Moore and Jenna Jameson attempted
to make it look.
But no one can ignore
the money streaming from
the sex industry-it's big
and it's recession,proo£ So,
I took the plunge.
There I was, "Vida Blue"
dressed in sexy,shiny, warm
pleatherette, looking like
a refugee from an early
Fassbinder film, eager to bring someone to
their knees. I was ready for business.
Or so I thought.
Fantasy vs. reality is always such a buzz
kill. I had been sure I would be so good at
this new job that I'd be free to spend the next
decade writing my heart out with no finan,
cial worries. Then came the actual work.
Being a dominatrix requires more than
just a great outfit and skillful repartee-it
involves being part of someone else's fantasy,
whether you share that fantasy or not-and
I didn't. My fantasy was that I could support
my writing career. My clients' fantasy was
that they could let go of every bit of power
and personhood they had.
You'd think that I would have understood
the complexities of the job I was about to
embark upon and fallen right into the role.
You'd think that I would have been able to
project all my outrage at the way men had
oppressed women, and apply my politics to
a practical reality.
It didn't work out that way. The thing
about sex work is that it is still sex. And I
didn't want to bear the burden of someone
else's need to be humiliated, hurt and less
than human. Suddenly this job was not so
perfect. I tried it, but I just didn't like it.
Some things you never get a taste for, even
when you think you might. ■
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DYKE
DRAMA
Sorry About All the Drama
The expert fumbles a classic lesbo scenario. By Michele Fisher
Now she's mad at me. She said she was tired
of the drama. I was only trying to help. All
they did was fight all the time, anyway. You'd
think she would be grateful to me for helping
her out of a bad situation. Whatever, I have
other friends.
After all these years of being immersed
in other women's problems, you'd think I
could spot a phony cry for help, but even a
semiprofession3:l can be fooled.
It all started a few months ago when Betsy
was sitting at her workstation, staring off into
space with that forlorn look that only comes
from dyke drama. I didn't even need to ask.
Betsy and her lover fought all the time.
As I approached her, I remembered all the
shoulders I had cried on over the years. Let
she who is without drama cast the first stone,
right? So, I asked her what was wrong, and
she told me all about the argument they'd
had the night before. It was over macaroni
and cheese. It had started at about midnight
with a discussion about whose turn it was to
make a late,night snack and ended at about
3 a.m. when Betsy's lover told her to get out.
Betsy had wisely kept her own apartment for
just such an occasion. Not that she ever got
much sleep there, but at least it kept her from
having to blubber on the streets all night.
She said she had called, but her girlfriend
wasn't picking up the phone. I suggested
a text, but Betsy's texts had already gone
unanswered.
That was when Betsy uttered the words
that started this whole mess. "I am just so sick
of fighting. I want it to stop for good;' she said.
Most of us who know Betsy would have been
OK with a murder,for,hire scheme. We were
tired of their relationship, too. But apparently
she had something a little less fatal in mind.
I asked her if she was truly serious about
ending all the drama, and she said that it was
all she wanted in life. I told her to apologize to
her woman. Betsy hated the idea.
She wasn't wrong, she insisted, and she
hadn't done anything that required an apol,
ogy. I reminded her of her last three breakups
with this woman and all the lost productivity
30
Icurve
they'd resulted in. An apology would do the
trick, I assured her. Besides, she didn't have
to say what she was sorry about. She might
mean that she was sorry they'd had a fight at
all, not that she was sorry for whatever the
argument was about. The beauty of the apol,
ogy is that it doesn't really matter what you
are sorry for, as long as you say you are sorry.
Betsy started to see the light. I told her that I
would watch her desk while she snuck off to
make the call.
A few minutes later, she returned with a
less than triumphant look on her face. She
had left the apology on her lover's voicemaiL
She just knew it wasn't going to work. I just
knew that it was, and I said so as I went back
to my own tasks.
.
At quitting time, Betsy was all smiles. It
had worked. Her woman had called her to
say that she had accepted her apology and
couldn't wait to see her!
Another happy ending ... but it was just the
a:
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~
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:x::
beginning-of the end.
I suppose I could lie and say that I didn't
see it coming, but how could I when I was
steering the bus? Allow me to remind you
again, dear readers, Betsy said she wanted
to put a stop to this endless cycle of grinding drama.
The next time Betsy came to work with
a long face, I gave her the same advice. She
didn't really want to hear it this time. There
was no way her lover was going to let her off
the hook again with just an apology, Betsy
insisted. And besides, why did she always
have to be the one to give in? It isn't giving
in, I told her. It is moving on.
It was no surprise to me that it worked
again.
Nothing kills drama like an apology.
Couples who live to fight are locked in a power
struggle. The drama is a product of nobody
wanting to give in or lose the emotional
tug-o-war.
AO SPACE
GENEROUSLY
DONATED
BY
For any girl who is truly tired of her dramalock relationship, all she needs to do is say
she is sorry and thereby let go of the rope.
But then what happens?
Well, sometimes couples find a new, better
way of relating to each other and live blissfully ever after. Or, they break up.
Enter Betsy again, just a few weeks after
her second successful mea culpa. I encouraged her to keep it up and apologize early and
often. I urged her not to wait until she was
shown the door to say she was sorry. At the
first hint of disharmony she should let 'er rip.
She took my adviceand sprinted with it. She
was a changed woman-all smiles and all business. You would never know that she had been
a woman possessed by dyke drama.
I was her savior and she couldn't thank me
enough ... until she got dumped.
It happened quite suddenly. Betsy dropped
by her lover's place with some flowers and
her girlfriend told her that it was over, as she
calmly arranged the stems. She told Betsy
that the passion was gone and that their relationship was stagnant. She was bored and she
needed to be stimulated and engaged.
"But fighting isn't stimulating or engaging,"
I told Betsy, attempting to help her understand. Sometimes there is more drama than
there is relationship. Once the drama is gone,
there is just a big empty space where the
relationship is supposed to go, or once was
or should have been. In any case, many couples find that filling the space with anything
positive or productive is just too much work.
Now, I told her, she was free to find a loving
and respectful situation.
But Betsy didn't want to hear it. All she
knew was that she used to have a girlfriend,
and now she didn't. She was more depressed
than ever, and my previously supportive
co-workers elected me jerk of the month.
In the end, all I could do was apologize.
"Save it for your girlfriend;' Betsy growled. ■
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TOOUR
PARTNERS
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POLITICS
Where Are We Now?
What Pride means to the lesbian community 40 years after Stonewall. By Victoria A. Brownworth
Every June, queers revisit the same question:
What is the meaning of Pride?
Our perspective on LGBT Pride has
changed dramatically over the 40 years since
the Stonewall Rebellion. Even the addition of
the L, B and T represents significant change
from the early days of the "gay"movement.
In 1969, simply being out was a frightening prospect with myriad repercussions
and dangers. The majority of lesbians and
gay men stayed in the closet, living in fear of
being exposed, losing their jobs and family
and even going to prison.
But in 2009, although full LGBT civil
man, Jeffrey Crowley, to head the Office of
National AIDS Policy.
After four decades of political action,
queers have arrived. Sort of.
When we look at where we were then
and where we are now, the change seems
seismic. We've gone from being unable to
even dance together legally in gay bars to
being able to marry legally in Massachusetts,
Connecticut, Iowa and Vermont. The history of our movement seems to have evolved
remarkably quickly.
The Stonewall Rebellion brought us into
the daylight. It was our Rosa Parks moment.
rights have yet to be achieved, the closet door
is wide open. Only Republicans like Mark
Foley and evangelicals like Ted Haggard still
seem to be closeted.
Discrimination against LGBT Americans
is still rife, but being queer is no longer something that most queers feel they need to hide.
Thus, Pride has taken a very different turn
40 years after Stonewall. Ellen DeGeneres
is a spokesmodel for Cover Girl. Wanda
Sykes and Rosie O'Donnell talk about their
marriages on TV. Rachel Maddow interviews important figures like the speaker of
the House on her MSNBC news program.
President Obama named an openly gay
Afterward, we refused to go back into the
shadows, where straight people wanted us.
Many of us thought that our newly discovered visibility would be enough. It was
presumed that if straight people knew how
many queers were in their lives-including
their family and friends-they wouldn't continue their discrimination and persecution.
Yet for some, seeing queers become so visible just made their hatred and bigotry more
intense. Even as people voted against racism
by voting for Barack Obama, they voted for
homophobia with California's -Proposition
8 and the other anti-gay marriage ballot
measures that passed last year. Forty years
32
Icurve
after Stonewall, the disconnect is still there.
Images of lesbians and gay men in mainstr~am culture have evolved since Stonewall.
Previously, we were portrayed in simplistic
stereotypes-the
flaming nellie queen and
the butch bull dyke. As our visibility broadened, we started to look more like mainstream America. We're no longer marginal
creatures. Now we're the people next door.
This evolution confuses straight people
even more than the stereotypes did. Or so
it seems. The identities that close-minded
straight people have always wanted queers
to assume no longer fit. Demonizing us is
harder now that we look so
much like them.
Still, civil rights struggles
engender fear in the straight
majority, because if the
queer minority acquires
equal rights, it poses a threat.
In the battle for marriage
equality, for example, the
opposition argues that equal
rights for same-sex couples
will somehow destroy marriage for straight couples.
Yet no one can explain how
that would happen, particularly since one in two heterosexual marriages in the
United States already ends
in divorce.
Society seems to be struggling with how
to portray LGBT people. The reflections we
see in popular culture are not representative of who we are. Lesbians like Callie on
Greys Anatomy, Bianca and Reese on All
My Children and Shane on TheL Word are
still presented as omnisexual people who
have a predilection for straight women and
who also have casual sex with men. Reality
shows like A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila
and TheReal World present lesbians as either
hypersexual or extremely unstable, or both.
And the need to marginalize queers as crea- ~
CD,
tures who are driven by sexual demons and a:
~
focused solely on sexuality at the expense of a.
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all else has been stoked by scandals involving
closeted queers like Haggard and Foley.
The truth is, 40 years after Stonewall, we
queers are still seeking our own identities,
which are as varied as those of our straight
counterparts. But, as we struggle for equality,
our own sense of identity is becoming harder
to pin down at the very time when we need
to be able to unite around it. Who are we
really? What does Pride stand for in an era
of openness?
Pride now seems synonymous with a simple declaration: We're here, were queer. But
our tribute to the legacy of Stonewall also has
to be political consciousness and a commitment to political and social change. Each of
us in the LGBT community must stand for
equality and demand more than just lipservice and tolerance.
Forty years ago, it was enough of a statement to come out, because coming out was
life-altering and even life-threatening. And,
while that remains true in many parts of the
world, in the United States tolerance has
given us a the space to live our lives mostly
fear-free.
But that is not enough anymore. Today's
movement requires a level of action that
supersedes that of 40 or even 10 years ago.
We are, as were those who made Stonewall
happen, on the cusp of a tectonic shift
in political consciousness and we cannot
be ignorant of that impending change.
We have to nurture it and that requires
a commitment.
We need to be prideful, by which I
mean that we need to demand equality.
Once, it was enough to merely take that seat
on the bus-to be seen sitting, rather than
slinking to the back. But today we must
demand much more-integration,
instead
of segregation.
In 2009, at this pivotal 40-year anniversary of the birth of our modern civil rights
movement, we need to come out, speak out
and demand the changes that will allow us
to become first-class citizens with the same
rights and privileges as other Americans.
We deserve no less, we must demand no
less. That's the fundamental message of
Pride: We care enough about ourselves and
our community to want more than mere
tolerance or grudging acceptance. We want
equality. We're 40 years overdue. ■
News Notes
GayMarriageBattlesin NewEngland
Aswe goto presstherearebills being
debatedin NewHampshire
andMainethat
wouldlegalizesame-sexmarriage,while
Vermontbecamethefourthstate,afterIowa,
to legalizesame-sexmarriage.
Theoutlook
for the bills lookspositivein the legislatures,
butthe governors
of the two stateshave
saidthey'dvetothemif passed.
Shooting
OutsideLesbianClub
A shootingoutsidea Baltimorelesbian
clubin Marchleft two womeninjured
andonedead.SharoneNewton,34,the
allegedshooter,hadan argumentinsidethe
Coconuts
Cafewhena womanbumpedher
onthe dancefloor.Afterthe clubclosed,
Newtonreturned,struckthe womanshe
hadbeenfightingwith earlier,thenfired into
the crowd.Newtonhasbeenchargedwith
first-degreemurder.
President
ObamaAppoints
LesbianChiefJudge
PresidentObamahasappointedlesbian
attorneyEmilyC.Hewittasthe chiefjudge
of the U.S.Courtof FederalClaims.Hewitt,
whois alsoanordainedEpiscopal
priest,
hasservedonthe U.S.Courtof Federal
Claimssince1998.
NewIVFLawin the U.K.
Expands
LesbianRights
Asof April6, lesbian
couplesin the United
KingdomwhoconceivethroughIVFwill
automatically
be named
onthe child'sbirthcertificate.Thereare
currentlyninestatesin the UnitedStates
that will allowsame-sexcouplesto have
bothmothersor fatherslistedonthe birth
certificate:California,
Connecticut,
Illinois,
Massachusetts,
NewJersey,New
York,Pennsylvania,
Vermontand
the Districtof Columbia.
LesbianTeenSues
to WearTuxto Prom
AnunnamedIndiana
highschoolsenior,
alongwith the
ACLU,
fileda suit
againstIndiana's
LebanonHigh
Schoolafterthe principaltoldhershecould
notweara tuxedoto herprom.Thefrisky.
comreportedthat,"theteen... believes
wearinga dressconveysa sexualidentity
sherejects."Sincethesuitwasfiled,the
schoolhasagreedto changeits dresscode
policy,temporarily.
AndreaShorter
JoinsEQCA
Equality
Californiahired
AndreaShorter
(right)as its
newcoalition
coordinator.
Shorter,whoco-founded
AndMarriagefor
All,a groupof AfricanAmericanleaders
workingto createa dialogueregarding
same-sexmarriage,hasbeenbrought
onboardat EQCA
to buildpartnerships
amongCalifornia'sLGBTorganizations.
Workers,Students
andUnion
ProtestAnti-Lesbian
Comment
An anti-lesbiantauntbya Harvard
Universitydininghallmanagerhasspurred
protestbyworkers,studentsandthe UNITEHERE
Local26 union,whoworerainbow
ribbonsin solidaritywith two womenwhom
a managercalled"lesbians"in an effortto
intimidateandinsultthem.
Senator'sAnti-GayRant
GetsHimNowhere
Colorado
Sen.ScottRenfroelet loosea sixminuteanti-gayrantin anattemptto block
legislationintroducedbyJenniferVeiga,
whois Colorado's
first openlygaysenator.
Thebill allowsemployees
to sharemedical
benefitswith same-sexpartners."Wehave
murder,we haveall sortsof sin.Wehave
adultery.Andwe don'tmakelawsmaking
thoselegal,"Renfroespouted.Fortunately,
his hate-inflatedbreathwaswasted,and
the bill passed.
U.S.Supports
U.N.GayMeasure
TheU.S.StateDepartment
reversedits originalposition
anddeclaredits supportfor
a UnitedNationsmeasure
that callsfor worldwide
decriminalizationof homosexuality.[RachelShatto]
June 2009
I33
She soon joined the state team, and a year later she won a
state title. In the following years she had what she calls "pretty
good results;' including second in the world for juniors.
Although she's had a boyfriend, she says,"It never really felt
right;' and she preferred spending time with women. "I was
hanging around the girls who were openly gay. I didn't have
a problem with that, even when I didn't think I was gay, but I
had a girl come up to me and say,'You really shouldn't be hang~
ing out with them: I felt like, 'Who are you to tell me who to
hang with? Who cares if they're gay?' But you know what? It's
true, There's a big risk in being yourself as a professional surfer,
and coming out:'
By the age of 18, the risk became real for her. Though this
article is the first time she's come out publicly, Donohoe came
out of the closet when she fell in love with another surfer and
refused to hide her orientation. "Everyone knows I'm gay;'
Donohoe says."It's no big secret and never has been:'
However, other surfers and sponsors were less than
accepting. At 21, she qualified to join the world tour, which is
made up of the best 16 women surfers in the world. Although
she loved going pro, she says, "I was becoming isolated on the
tour. A lot of the girls didn't want to be associated with me.
Back then, if I was hanging out with
one of the girls, it [was taken to mean]
we were sleeping together. There was
a stigma, and I felt really lonely. I was
living on the road nine months a year,
surrounded by homophobia. My girl~
friend was back home [in Sydney]. I
did bad that year-my results that
year showed where I was at mentally.
'i\t that time, a lot of girls were mak~
ing a lot of money off surfing, through
sponsorship. One of the main reasons
was they were the typical surfer-long blond hair, blue eyesand they were straight:' But, Donohoe says, she was the only
openly lesbian surfer who was "visually" identifiable as queer.
"I had a sponsor ... but they dropped me because I shaved my
head.
"Back then, surfing was trying to disassociate itself with
anyone being gay on tour. It's a business, you know? Even now,
why am I not sponsored? Because none of the surf companies
are going to sponsor me, purely because I'm (visually] gaY:'
According to the Association of Surfing Professionals web~
site, the 15 other women on tour have at least one sponsor, and
most have several. Typically, surf~gear manufacturers such as
Billabong, Roxy and Quiksilver ask surfers to sign a contract
agreeing to wear their clothes, use their equipment, do photo
shoots for catalogs and-above
all-maintain
an image.
In return, the salary can be well into six figures, plus travel
expenses. Donohoe explains,"The girls ahead of me and a good
20 behind me would be making some good solid dollars:'
Donohoe's last sponsor check came in 2002. "I knew the
price I was going to pay in coming out, but I had a lot of pride,
and I always wanted to be true to myself:' Currently without
a sponsor, but ranked No. 9 and surfing in the Association
of Surfing Professionals Women's World Tour, Donohoe pays
her own way using the income she wins.'Tm not earning any
profit, but just covering my travel to get to the next event:'
Is she bitter about surfing next to people earning 10 times
what she makes? "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard to swal~
low at times-not
about them personally, because they're
great people. But as an athlete, I have to look around and go,
'Why?' It's not really fair. I'm at the top of my game, and I'm
dedicating my life to this sport. Why should (being gay] be
such an issue?
"The surf industry is never, ever going to come out and
say it's because of my sexuality, but I've approached a cou~
ple of companies and I just get, 'No, no, I'm
sorry: I think they don't want their company
associated with that image. They want surf~
ies to have a real feminine look, and I don't.
I don't have a real extreme butch look, but I
don't have the long blond hair, and I'm not
going to surf in a bikini (just] because tits
and ass are going to sell. I'm comfortable in
a pair of boardies, so that's what I'm going
to wear:'
What advice would she give a young queer
surfer? 'i\t the end of the day, it's really good
to be honest. If you do want to come out,
you're not going to walk the easy road. But
it's like with anyone who comes out-there
are people who will leave your life, but some~
thing even bigger and better comes along.
You're going to learn from it.
"I don't take anything for granted anymore.
That feeling of insecurity I had, when I was
a:
younger, about being queer-I don't have that ~
~
anymore. I'm in a good place and it shows in I::;
<(
my results. I'm loving what I'm doing:' ■
:i:
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IDGREATERMIAMI CONVENTION & VISITORS BUREAU
YOURSELF
EBRUARY,All My Children made history when
aytime soap's wildly popular lesbian heroine Bianca
ontgomery, played by actor Eden Riegel, walked down the
aisle with her lady love, Reese ( General Hospital alum Tamara
Braun). As is often the case on soaps, Reese and Bianca's happiness didn't last long. Bianca annulled daytime's first samesex union after learning her new wife had been caught making
out with her brother-in-law Zach (Thorsten Kaye), the day
before the wedding. Fans immediately took to online message
boards, furious that once· again their beloved Binks was going to be denied her happily-ever-after. Hadn't Bianca been
through enough? There was her battle with anorexia, the gay
bashing, a rocky relationship with her initially disapproving
mother, Erica Kane (played by soap legend Susan Lucci), a
rape, a tornado and, most grievous, the fact that almost all of
Bianca's love interests couldn't seem to figure out if they liked
girls or boys. Now, after her most recent dramatic exit from
the fictional Pine Valley,Riegel talks sexuality on daytime TV,
reveals how playing Bianca helped her get closer to her lesbian
sister and answers the question legions of All My Children fans
are dying to know: Will Bianca ever be lucky in love?
I did ... I was working at the White House as an intern that
summer. When I got the job, [the producer at the time) said,
"We really need to talk to you. We'd like for you to fly to New
York so we can talk to you in person and let you know what's
going to happen with the character, because it's going to be
pretty controversial:' And I was like,"OK ... " So, I flew to New
York and met with her, and she told me the whole story from
the beginning, and then she got to sort of the climax moment
and told me that my character was going to be gay. I just sat
there waiting for the controversial part!
Shethoughtyoumighthavean issuewithplayinggay?
I think they expected some kind of response from me, but they
weren't aware that I had grown up in show business and that
my sister, Tatiana, is a lesbian. So, I was totally just fine with
Bianca being gay.
Wereyouat all concerned
aboutbecoming
a rolemodelforLGBT
viewers?
I really didn't know the story was going to be all that groundbreaking. I didn't know daytime had never tackled this issue
before. Then I learned that in the past there had been gay char0
acters, but this was Erica Kane's daughter, for heaven's sake! ~
c5
Bianca wasn't a character that they could just sweep under the ~
0
YoujoinedAll My Children
in 2000,butbeforeBiancacameout mg if the story line didn't go well.
8
as a lesbian.Didyouknowgoingin thatyou'dbe playinga gay The one thing I was concerned about, when I was first told the a?
:::>
character would be gay,was that I knew on soap operas, people g
character?
38
I curve
come back from the dead and they have over-the-top affairs,
so I just didn't want to do it if it was going to be sensationalized-if it was just sort of going to be titillating, or for shock
value, I didn't want to do that. This was a story that was really
important to me, because of my sister, and to All My Children's
creator, Agnes Nixon, who was writing it. Agnes wanted to tell
a beautiful tale that people would be invested in, and everyone
involved wanted to make sure the coming out story was told
with respect-and it absolutely was.
Didyoupickyoursister'sbrainon howto playa lesbiancharacterauthentically?
Yeah, I did. It was a great thing for our relationship. Even when
you are very close to someone, there are things that maybe you
don't talk about in the depths that you should. In our day-today lives as sisters, before I got the part, I don't know that I had
ever really asked her about her corning out story, or when she
first knew that she was gay, because
Tatiana is quite a bit older than me.
As for any advice she has given
me, she has just always encouraged
me to come up with my own interpretation for Bianca, and that nothing I would do would be wrong,
because I was only telling this one
person's story, and every gay person's
experience was different. She made
me feel like I didn't have to worry
about letting the entire community
down, and that was a huge relie£ I
did ask her a lot of stupid questions
early on, like "Would a lesbian do
this?" or "Would a lesbian say that?"
or "Would a lesbian wear this?" and
she basically told me a lesbian is no
different from anybody else.
A lot of Bianca'sfans and critics
havegottenupsetovertheyearswith
someof theperceived
victimization
thecharacter
hasendured.
Wasit hardforyouto playstorylineslikeBianca's
rape?
The rape was tough for me at the time. As an actress, I was
thrilled because I was going to have such meaty, dramatic
material to play, but I was also really nervous. GLAAD, who
had been so supportive of Bianca all along, issued a statement saying they weren't supporting the rape story line, but,
I should note, they later retracted that statement and said
they felt the story was told in a tasteful way. It wasn't just
0
?;
about "raping a lesbian:' You know, there is no way around it,
c5
~ Bianca is a representative to a community, so the show had
ffi to be careful, but ultimately I heard from so many women
~ who told me that watching Bianca go through her pain
helped th.em go through their own pain. Rape is something
~ that can happen to any woman: gay or straight. One in five
5
women experience being raped. Plus, it gave Bianca a daughter, Miranda, and led to the soap opera's audience demanding
that Bianca, a lesbian, be reunited with her daughter when
Miranda was kidnapped. During a time when gay adoption
was so controversial, and still is, soap fans wanted this lesbian character to have the chance to be a mother to her baby.
So, good came from Bianca's tragedy.
A lotoffanshavealsobeenfrustrated
byhowBianca's
lovelife
hasplayedout.Willwe everseeBiancahappy?
Yes,there will be a happy ending for Reese and Bianca. I think
it was amazing that this time around, with Tamara Braun,
who played Reese, we were given total freedom to show the
characters being as intimate as we wanted. We could kiss
and unbutton each other's
blouses and be in bed
together. Nothing had to
be scripted, so that is definitely a positive. Like any
soap heroine, Bianca has
had a lot of tragedy. But,
you know, happiness is the kiss of death on soap operas!
You'vehadnotableachievements
apartfromAll My Children.
Imaginary
Bitches,
theYouTube
dramedy
youstarredin,hashad
over6 millionhits,andyourmovieThe YearOne,whichstars
JackBlack,comesout this summer.
As youfind moremainstreamsuccess,
will youkeepreturning
to yoursoapstomping
grounds
forvisits?
Absolutely. I will always go back to All My Children.They gave
me my start, and Bianca's fans have been amazing. They' re the
reason ImaginaryBitcheswas such a success, so All My Children
will always be home for me. ■
June 2009
I39
aa
The originalcyborg superherostill knows
how to melt our hearts.9YAimsel L. Ponti
40 I curve
consciousness."We feel that what we do
is so insignificant.We have no idea that
every act of kindness, every time we take
responsibility for our feelings instead of
blaming somebody elae... every time we
make somebody else feel good, we are
feeding the collective. We are not just
doing (it]... for that one person.•
I ask Wagner about her level of ful6.llment withthe workshedoes and the programs she runs. Whileit has beena huge
shift from her lifein front of the camera,
she says getting face-to•.facewith people
has made her feel more like herself than
she did trying to makean impact as an
actor. "'This is just me-any insecurity
that I mightstill have about how I'm seen,
rather than just beingOK with who I am,
mysel£-[the workshops are) forcing me
to go to another level with that, because
there's nothing in front of me. There's no
script, there's no story, there's no fabrication. It's just me going, 'Here I am, and
here's what I feel: And I just have this
impulse to share it with people,"she says.
"h's mor~ of.. ·• calling,I guessyoucl say,
because I feel that its something bigger
wasmanifesting
itselfphysically.
"I think that'sthe answer to everything, than me that's pwikingme.•
Wagner and I end this enlightening
myself.
.. [but) the last thing I want is fur
peopleto go awayfeelingguiltythat they're conversationon a bionic note when I ask
sick.Wejudgeounelveuo &st. [so] it'swry her to share somethingabout the impact
important ro talk.about the ideaof us being and influencethe showhas had on people.
of a letter she
ltlvoived
aoilehewin the demonstration of She cites a recent _example
11
received
from
a
woman
who
is a scientiat
diseaseor illnea.
at
NASA.
The
woman
explain«l
that
I wonder oudoud to Wagnerabout the
her
parents
had
insisted
she
go
to
beauty
fnstt.ationI experiencewhen I let so many
other tbinp get in the way of a basic level schooLbutshe waaso inspiredbyWaper's
of adf-care. "That's the human journey; character dtat, for tbt first time in her life,
,he r~
•To tnnacendthis stUffthat she went against • parenta and pursued
keepsUI ~.ezperiendng what I believe a careerin science.11She&aidthankyoufor
i&our actUaL
naturalstate. .. our divinity,if the inspiratiott, an multiple levels,that [I
you will."She add&that she believestrue waa] ableto~
liealing ..camM from a spiritual shift in A1Weof1iae.8-alcV.--tGDdDue6'•PIF'1
about communication, for me; she says.
"I studied acting when I was a kid, not
because I was interested,but becausethese
people that I used to babysit for [Dukesof
Hazzardstar James Best] saw that I had a
pretty tumultuous familylife and ... that I
needed some kind of an outlet:'
As Wagner polishedher craft-she went
on to win an Emmy for her work on The
Bionic Woman in 1976-she learned the
bys to goodacting."H you havejudgments
about a certain type of person you have to
pla~ you cannot play them. Youcan act, but
you cant honestly play that person through
and through,"she explains."If you'replaying
a prostitute and youjudge prostitutes, or if
you'replaying a lesbianand you havejudgments about lesbians,youa better get over
that befureyou start playingthe role."
Wagnerwas iflspiredto shiftfromacting
to helpingothersafrershe experienced
sevttal
yearsof bad health, includingan ulcer.Her
stomach problemsbeganwhenshe was 14
and hit their peak when she was 20. Now,at
60 yearsold, Wagner'stake on it is that her
illnessWU causedby emotional pain that
Florence Henderson
might be campy,
but she's also hot.
By Kelli Dunham
fl'h~ Wo11111n
Who got ma
9,11dgt1 in 11§Rn~h
I was raised by stoic Wisconsin farm people who taught me many important life skills: how
to hoe beets, use a chainsaw at age 10 and (consequently) how to say,"Oh, it's barely bleeding
at all;' in both German and English. And, while my life experiences include both drinking
warm milk directly from the cow and accidentally driving a tractor into a brick wall ("It's
barely bleeding at all;' came in handy once again), watching TV was not really part of my
family-togetherness experience.
Therefore, my ignorance of pop culture is legendary: I only recently discovered that
the Carpenters covered the Beatles' Ticket to Ride and not the other way around. My best
pal says that being friends with me is like being friends with an exchange student.
But ask me any question about The Brady Bunch and I'll have a response faster than
you can say "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia:• The reason? Carol Brady.
After I caught my first glimpse of America's favorite TV mom, I began creating elaborate
schemes to be at a friend's house at 8 p.m. on Tuesdays, when Mrs. Brady would appear in all
her groovy polyester glory.
I wanted her to hit my arm and say,"Oh, Mike:' I wanted her to hand me my lunch bag
with a smile. I wanted her to kiss me passionately in the kitchen and the den, and on a camping trip, and at the Grand Canyon and, of course, in bed-even if we were both completely
clothed in multiple pajama-and-bathrobe layers.
I should have known there was something amiss with my alleged heterosexuality when I
kissed my first boyfriend and had to imagine Carol Brady in her jumpsuit to feign interest.
Yet it would be nearly a lifetime before I came out, with some random steps (attending Bible
college, being a nun) in between.
Fast-forward to 2009. I was watching Broadway I wanted her to hit
Backwards,the New York Community Center's genmy arm and say,
der-bending theater fundraiser. Onstage, mere feet
"Oh, Mike." I anted
away, was Florence Henderson. She was perfectly
coiffed, perfectly in step and perfectly hot. She belted
her to hand me
out "There Is Nothing Like a Dame;' grabbed the
my lunch bag with
crotch of one the queeniest chorus boys and shared
a smile. I wante
a no-less-than-20-second, open-mouthed kiss with
one of her female backup singers.
her to kiss me
Later, the master of ceremonies led the audience
passionately in the
in a chorus of "Happy Birthday" for Henderson,
kitchen and the den,
who, as it turns out, was celebrating her 75th that
very week.
and on a camping
The man sitting next to me whispered, "I hope
trip, and at the
I'm grabbing the crotch of chorus boys when I'm 75:'
Grand Canyon and,
Nodding in agreement, I realized I not only wanted
of c urse, in bed.
to do Florence Henderson- I wanted to be her. ■
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The animated couples you never knew you always wanted. By Rachel Shatto
TURANGA
LEELA
& AMYWONG:
Seeing
the ladiesof Futurama,
LeelaandAmy
(akaGynecaladriel,
queenof thewater
nymphos)
makingoutin
Bender'sGamesheda
new,rainbow-colored
light
onwhyFryhadso much
troublegettingintoLeela's
spacepants.
LISASIMPSON
& PEPPERMINT
PAm: Lisa,the vegetarian
feminist
andfuturelesbianintelligentsia,
andjersey-sporting
softballlesbo
peanutPeppermint
Pattyare
thecutestbabydyke
couple-ever.
MEGGRIFFIN
& DARIA:
Lesbianlove
discovered
in teenagesocial
exilebetweenthe FamilyGuy
outcastandMTV'sdisarmingly
~~==- .. bespeckled
misanthrope.
LARA
CROFT
& JADE:TombRaidersuberfemmeneedsa womanwhocankeepup
withheron heradventures
throughexoticand
mysticallocales,andBeyondGoodandEvil's
foxytomboyJade,a photojournalistwhoisn't
afraidto takeonthealienhordes,isjustthegirl
for thejob.
DR.GIRLFRIEND
& NATASHA
FATALE:
Stuckin dead-end
relationships
withincompetentsupervillains,TheVenture
Bros.'Dr.
Girlfriend
andRockyandBullwinkle
nemesis,
Natasha
Fatale,
cometogether
to commiserate,andstayto cohabitate.
CASEY
LYNCH
& JEM:It's all
beautifulmusicfor Guitar
Hero-ine
CaseyLynchand
'80scartoonrockstar
Jem,whomakea truly,truly
outrageous
couple.
coupleof smokinghotzombie
Resident
Evilhotties'passion
f
thegrotesquely
undead
is onlyrivaledbytheir
passionfor oneanother.
ZARANA
& TANK
GIRL:
G.I.Joevillainess
Zaranaandcomichero
TankGirlaretwoAussie
bad-asses
whoknowtheir
heavyartillery,andbringt
Under--if youknowwha
WONDER
WOMAN
&
SHE-RA:
AnAmazon
queenfromanallfemaleislandand
He-mans'princess
of
powersister,bothwith
anaffinityfor fierce
boots-needI goon?
CATWOMAN
& CHEETARA:
DCComics'CatWomanand
Thundercafs
bowstaff-sporting
Cheetara
maybeondifferent
sidesof the lawbutthey'llcurl
uptogetherin theend-come
on,they'rethe purr-feetcouple.
~
:E
~
a:
UJ
...J
...J
ROSIE
THEROBOT
& ARCEE:
Whensheisn'tspiffingupthe
Jetson'sfuturisticspace
padRosiespendsher
(powered)
downtime
with
the Transformer's
hottest
AutobotArcee.Because
robo-dykes
needlove,too.
VELMA
& DAPHNE:
Something
keptthe
mysterymachine
rocking,andit
wasn'tFredin his
ridiculous
orangeascot.
UJ
~
i
d.
RUBBLE:
Friends,
neighbors
andsecretlovers-these
prehistoric
lesbosrockthe
bedrockandkeepusin
theirneandra-thrall.
n
FAI & SPIDER-GIRL:
A rooftopromance
betw
contraband
parkour
deliverymaven,Mirrors
andMarvelcomic'ssexb
andyes,theyareswingers.
SAMUS
& FAYE
VALENTINE:
Metroid's
SamusandCowboy
Bebop'sanime
it-girlFayeValentine
arejusta couple
of star-crossed
spacebountyhunters
whoselovefor oneanotheris-wait for
it-out of thisworld!
cosmetics spokesperson and the gay
marriage debate is sweeping the
nation - but are these the victories
we should be fighting for?
By Stephanie Schroeder
HELATE
DELMARTIN,
a pioneer of the modern lesbian rights movement, was able to legally marry Phyllis
Lyon, her partner of 55 years, in 2008. Was that marriage a hard-won right or just a sliver of a piece of the
mainstream pie aimed at keeping lesbians happy-at
least momentarily:' Radical queer activists smell elitism in
the right to marry. There is a current backlash-or
rather
increased forward movement-among radical queer and antiassimilationist lesbian activists to ensure rights for all, not just
a privileged few.
Though marriage is at the forefront of what straight society
sees lesbians fighting for, some lesbians don't think it's really all
that it's cracked up to be. "State-sanctioned marriage separates
people and values certain kinds of relationships over others;'
says Aliza Shapiro, a Boston-based producer, performer and
artist. Shapiro's Truth Serum Productions presents events
that often push the boundaries of sexuality, gender, the personal and political.
'Td like to see queers fight for abolishment of all statesanctioned marriage. Acceptance into the mainstream isn't
my endgame. You want to have a ceremony and contractsgreat, but why should couples get tax breaks along with the
reaking Out
KitchenAid:"' Shapiro asks. "The thing that separates us from
heterosexuals is the sex we have. People have forgotten that
up until 2003 our sex was illegal. Our sexual expression,
especially if it includes bondage and discipline or S/M, which
it often does, can still get us into a heap of trouble. I get that
there are people who want to fight for mainstream privileges.
But that fight continues to leave people behind, and that gets
under my skin:'
Self-identified as a black lesbian feminist poet-warrior, the
lat;).udre Lorde wrote in her 1984 essay addressing black
lesbian feminist concerns about white feminism, "It is learning
how to take our diff~rences and make them strengths. For the
master's tools will never dismantle the master's house. They
may allow us temporarily to beat him at his own game, but
44 I curve
~~
~
~
they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. And
this fact is only threatening to those women who still define
the master's house as their only source of support:'
Mainstream gaydom vs. radical queerness is not so much
about labels as a commitment to social justice in our own
backyard. Lorde's statement resonates today for radical queer
activists who say it's really all about helping out, thinking
about and fighting for people who don't look like you, think
like you or act like you. A radical queer, anti-assimilationist
element has existed in the lesbian community at least since
Stonewall. In fact, it was the original lesbian and gay movement that fought against a white-collar, corporate ethic that
was willing to support only the simplest reforms. Reform
politics are sneaky and insidious, says Gina de Vries, a selfdescribed queer femme writer, rabble-rouser and sex worker
who also penned the Hey! Baby column for curve from
1997 to 2004. According to her, reform politics tend to give a
small portion of the community access to mainstream privilege,
creating a gay elite, rather than addressing true disenfranchisement in society.
"It's the upper echelons of the gay population-primarily
male, but not completely, mostly white, upper-middle-class,
with access to higher education, healthcare, high-level jobs and
all types of privilege-who are clamoring for the same rights
as the mainstream;' says de Vries."! see the gay struggle more
in terms of survival. If the only way we can obtain healthcare
is through marriage, that is wrong. I don't begrudge lesbians
who do marry to obtain healthcare and work the system and
make choices perhaps not otherwise made, for survival's sake.
But, we are worthy of more than survival. It's as if those queers
lucky enough to have well payingjobs with good health insurance are saying, 'Well, I have my privilege, so I don't need to
worry about those who can't get adequate healthcare or a
decent living-wage job or access to education:"
There is a whole section of the mainstream LGBT movement, such as the ubiquitous Human Rights Campaign, that
activists who have been around forever;' says de Vries."For me
the marriage part is very complicated. A lot of it arises around
the separation of church and state. It can be very spiritual and
romantic and I like seeing the expression and celebration of
love between two women, but having the state in bed with us
strikes me as very strange:'
According to younger radical queer activists, there's a
myopic focus on "me first" politics within today's lesbian community, with women focusing only on issues that affect them as
individuals, rather than on a broader agenda of social justice.
One such activist is Deeg, who is a longtime member of
LAGAI: Queer Insurrection, a radical lesbian group focused
on wide-ranging grassroots initiatives such as agitating against
United States intervention abroad and against lesbian assimilation. The group uses direct action such as guerilla theater
and satire, and also publishes the newsletter Ultra Violet,
which "highlights the invisible fringe of the rainbow:' LAG AI
looks through the lens of a revolutionary analysis of class,
race, "ownership of children'' and other historically mainstream constructs that have prevented lesbians from gaining
true respect, acceptance and access to society-not simply the
tolerance of mainstream reformism. The group, like most radical queers, is anti-capitalist and works against the patriarchal
systems that continue to persist in our society.
"Since lesbians in general have been pushed out of the constituency of the gay agenda, now more than ever we need to
put lesbian identity forth as a cherished one in the community;' asserts Deeg. "It's a different thing altogether to fight for
rights than to fight for liberation:' Of the work she and the
other members of LAG AI do, Deeg says, "We are creating a
vision that will make it better for all of us, not just a small portion of us. And that is what this revolution is all about-the
40-hour work week at a dead-end job just keeps us all busy
and not fighting for what we deserve. Owning children and
the fake lesbian nuclear family is a deteriorated vision; instead
we want freedom. We don't want to be the same as straight
.•..
of the Mainstrea
.,,..
projects an image of itself as the voice of the queer movement. But radical feminists don't recognize the spirit of the
queer movement in mainstream organizing, in which goal is
to gain access to institutions that lesbians in the '70s originally wanted to demolish. "We sought to completely dismantle
marriage and the military-industrial
complex, not gain
access to them;' says Joan E. Biren, who was activist in the
early lesbian feminist movement. "Liberation, as opposed to
rights, meant remaking society to be better for everyone, not
just 'gays'getting a fair share of the status quo:'
"To say there is a backlash against the mainstreaming of
gayness makes radical queers sound like a new phenomenon,
as if we are outsiders coming in from the outside rather than
.
.,.,
society. We're not the same, so let's stop pretending we are:' ~ •: ·',./ 'V
1
Radical activists agree that more lesbians need to step out,' • '- \
side of our comfort zone and look at those who are unlike us
in the community. Individuals who dress differently, who are
of different ages, races and levels of social and physical mobility,
and have divergent identifications across the LGBT spectrum.
"It's really not an either-or situation;' says de Vries."It's a matter oflife and death for those merely subsisting while so many
of their lesbian and gay counterparts revel in their little
cocoons. And the gap between the gay elite and those people
of all persuasions who have little or nothing is growing. No
one in the community can justify sitting on the sidelines
doing nothing. That is not an option:' ■
June 2009
_-.
I45
rr
•
46
Icurve
HEN FIRSTOPENED,
Time Out New York
described In Heat, in the "Gay" section of the
magazine, as follows:
"In Lisa Haas' comedy, a 50-year-old lesbian is
dismayed at the state of the community, whose numbers are
dwindling in an increasingly trans and genderqueer world:'
This is somewhat ironic, considering that is was a 2008
cover story in Time Out entitled "What Is Gay Culture?" that
inspired Haas to write In Heat, a play about the disappearance of authentic lesbian culture. In Heat is, in fact, a hilarious
sendup of lesbian stereotypes and the concerns in the lesbian
community about trans (and oh-so-many other) issues.
But the reality for Haas, an award-winning performer, playwright and monologist, is no laughing matter. "When I read
that Time Out article, around the same time the Village Voice
published a piece about trans men dominating the queer scene
in New York City, I just felt like someone had blown out my
candle, like being a lesbian wasn't good enough anymore:'
Haas says her struggle to come out and find a community
seemed completely squashed when she read those articles. For
a fortysomething lesbian who came out in the Denver suburbs
before moving to New York City, the idea that lesbianism itself
might become obsolete was terrifying.
In Heat is only one of Haas' many artistic endeavors with
the director Jocelyn Sawyer. Other staples of her repertoire are
Crown Hill Cemetery, about growing up near a graveyard, and
Stacked: A Deviant Doctoral Dissertation (directed by James
McLaughlin), featuring a jacked-up Ph.D. student who uses
her research to pick up women.
In the play In Heat, Doris, a somewhat self-righteous
middle-aged lesbian, has started an organization called
the Self-Identified Lesbian Center (SILC). The show is an
engaging dialogue with both the live audience and the invisible viewers of the cable access program Doris is taping to
promote SILC.
The character is a stern, schoolteacher type who has a
matronly soft spot for her lesbian sisters in need and who, in
spite of her outdated hairdo, frumpy clothes and extremely
sensible shoes, exudes a certain subtle sexual power.
Doris' hilarious monologue and the advice she dispenses
throughout the play in a stream-of-consciousness manner
seem to spring from a very real fear that lesbians will become
obsolete. She laments early in the show that SILC will become
"a cultural hospice for the last of the lesbians, who will be
dying off in the next 30 years:'
The issue the Time Out article highlighted, according to
Haas, is that"there were names for every type of queer-boi,
trans man, bisexual, genderqueer, tranny fag-but there was
not-one mention of lesbians:'
"Twenty years ago I was afraid to say I was a lesbian;' says
the 44-year-old playwright, "and 20 years later I'm embarrassed to call myself a lesbian. I mean, that is my teenage self
talking ... the lesbian who missed adolescence while struggling
with [her] sexuality. My inner teen feels very left our:' ■
z
~
~
~
z
~
•
•
N TWOHISTORIC
STEPSforward for civil rights, Iowa and
Vermont both legalized same-sex marriage in the first week
of April. Iowa's Supreme Court ruled unanimously that the
state's ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional on
April 3. Vermont's Legislature overturned the governor's
veto on a bill legalizing same-sex marriage on April 7, making
the state the first to legalize gay marriage by legislation rather
than court ruling.
The back-to-back victories were surprisingly decisive,
despite each state's previous moves toward legalizing
same-sex unions. An Iowa judge ruled the state's ban on
same-sex marriage unconstitutional in 2007, but added that
the Supreme Court should have a chance to consider the
issue before marriage licenses were issued, a decision that led
to the higher court's April 3 ruling. In 2000, Vermont became
the first state to legalize civil unions for same-sex couples.
"This is a week in which the country turned another corner
[for LGBT rights J;'says Jenny Pizer, director of the Marriage
Project at Lambda Legal, the organization that litigated the
Iowa case.
A victory in a Midwestern state is a significant step in
persuading Americans that same-sex marriage isn't an
ultra-progressive issue, Pizer adds. "It is the heartland. No
one thinks of Iowa as a crazy, left-wing place:'
Unlike the heartbreakingly brief legalization of same-sex
marriage in California, same-sex marriage in Vermont and
Iowa is expected to stand.
According to Molly McKay, national media director of
Marriage Equality USA, California's Proposition 8 was the
last opportunity the religious right will have to strip us of
our marriage rights. She says the ballot measure indicates the
ease with which the California constitution can be amended,
but that the situation there is not necessarily how it will play
out in other states.
"Most other states have a much more protective setup, so
that you can'tjust have a majority of people strip people of constitutional protections with a bare majority vote without some
prior legislative action, and usually only with a supermajority
vote;' McKay explains.
In Iowa, amending the state constitution requires approval
by two consecutive state legislatures before a statewide vote
on the change, and a bid by opponents of same-sex marriage
to change the constitution is sure to fail this year. The current
Iowa Legislature is firmly Democratic, and House and Senate
leaders have publicly rejected the idea of a constitutional
amendment to overturn the legalization of gay marriage.
Vermont's Legislature mustered a supermajority to override
the governor's veto of the same-sex marriage legislation, a level
of support that makes it unlikely that opponents of same-sex
marriage could find the legislative backing overturn the law,
says Pizer.
In another victory in an already-historic week, the District
of Columbia City Council voted unanimously to recognize
same-sex marriages from other states on April 7.
States to watch for future legalization of same-sex
marriage include New Jersey, New Hampshire, Rhode
Island and Maine each of which has marriage legislation
pending. Same-sex marriage legislation has been approved in
the House in New Hampshire and is pending in the Senate
at press time, while Governor Corzine of New Jersey has
indicated that he will sign same-sex-marriage legislation if it's
approved by the Legislature. ■
Ahh,Victory Is Sweet
Same-sex marriagewins
spread acrossthe country.
Lesbian Lawyers on the J:ront
Thebattlefor ourequalrightsis wagedeveryday
in thiscountry,in a milliondifferentways.From
decisions
in countycourthouses
to protestsin the
streetto themereactof onesinglehumanbeing
comingoutof thecloset.Twowomenwhohave
dedicated
theirlivesto careersin fightingfor our
rightsareJennyPizer(right)andKateKendelltwoattorneyswhoworkeveryday,exclusively
for us,in legalcasesaroundthis country.
JennyPizeris seniorcounselandMarriage
Projectdirectorfor LambdaLegal.KateKendell
is the executive
directorof the NationalCenter
for LesbianRights(NCLR).
Theirlife'sworkis
in thefieldof socialchangeandtheyhaveboth
beenworkinghardat it for 20years.
What'san averageworkdaylooklike?Kendell
rattlesoff herrecentschedule:
"In Florida,we
just argueda caseon lesbianparentingand
in oralargumentin a transgender
prisoncase.
Thereis a currentlawsuitattackingCalifornia
safeschoolslegislation
that we arefighting,and
wejust hada meetingearliertodayaboutENDA
in Congress."
Oneof the battlesbothPizerandKendellwere
involvedin recentlywastheverytenserace
for marriageequalityin California.
"Marriage
THE !-1ADISON
A LOEWS HOTEL
LATHAMa.WATKINSu,
■
'WHITMAN-WALKKlt
CLINIC
is a particularly
powerfulissuefor us
to workon,"saysPizer,"becauseit's
aboutthewaythatsocietytreatsus
as less-than,
with respectto thething
aboutusthat'sdifferent.If you're
talkingaboutemployment
or... military
service-gayandstraightservicemembers
do
theirjobsthesameway.pnthatcase],we are
seekingthe rightto betreatedthesamewhen
sexualorientation
... doesnotmatter.Butwith
respectto family,we aredifferent.That'sthe
placewherewe'refightingto betreatedthe
same,whilebeingdifferent."
LastMay,the CaliforniaSupremeCourtmade
same-sexmarriageslegal.However,
those
marriagerightswerestrippedwith the passage
of Proposition
8 in November.
In thosefew
months,18,000couplesweremarried.In addition to workingonthe Noon Prop.8 campaign,
KendellandPizerbothworkedon casesto
challengethevalidityof Prop.8, whichwentto
oralarguments
to the SupremeCourton March
5. At presstime,those18,000marriages-and
the rightsfor all gayandlesbianCaliforniansarehangingin the balancewhilethe Supreme
Courtconsidersits ruling.
"It's beenanabsolute
rollercoaster,"
saysKendell,
"Twelvemonthsago,we hadjust
arguedthe marriagecaseand
won!It wasa shotheardaround
theworld,of a veryinfluential
StateSupremeCourtstandingupfor us in an
enormous
way.It's a joy andelationI canonly
compareto whenmychildrenwereborn.Then,
six monthslater,I neverfelt sodefeatedor discouraged.
I wasgrievingwhenwe lostProp.8."
Suchis the natureof civil rightswork.There
arewinsandlosses."Winor lose,it's still a
long-termfight,"saysPizer."Everycivil rights
struggleis a long-termfight.Wemoveforward
whenwe win,andoftenwe evenmoveforward
whenwe lose."According
to her,simplyinitiating
theconversation
is imperative
rightnow.
Withmanyvictoriesanddefeatsstill ahead,
thesetwo dedicatedlawyersarein it for the long
haul."[Ourmovement]
is aboutaddressing
a
wholerangeof issues-it's notjust aboutmarriage,"explainsPizer."It's aboutfamilyrelationshipsandjobsandsafetyandequaltreatment,
bothunderlawandin society,andeveryfacetof
ourlives."[JDDisalvatore]
l=indingYour Way
SanFrancisco,
Atlanta,Chicago-these
threemajorPridecitiesaregreatto visit
anytime of year.But,you'llneeda good
bookto familiarizeyourselfwith the terrain.
O As a newcomerto SanFranciscomyself,
I recommend
the Nottar Tourists
Guldeto
SanFranclSt:D
(www.notfortourists.com.)
and WhereSanFrancisco
(www.wheretraveler.com).
TheNotfor TouristsGuideis
chock-fullof snarkyone-linersdescribing
landmarksandnightlife,lettingyouknow,for
instance,that at TheCafeyou'llfind "so many
gaymendancingwith lesbiansyou'll mistake
it for a straightbar."WhereSanFranciscois
goodfor its compactness.
Its cutepop-outmaps
will preventyoufromlookingtoo muchlike a
tourist.
f) If you'reheadedto Atlanta,packThe
OutTraveler.
Atlanta,byJordanMcAuleyand
MattBurkhalter(www.alysonbooks.com).
McAuleyandBurkhalter'spassionfor their
hometownshinesthroughin this guidefor the
out-and-about
queertraveler.If you'realso
singleandwell-heeled,
this guideis all you'll
list.Thelatterbook,bytour guidesandanthropologistsKathieBergquistandRobertMcDonald,
is a sassy,comprehensive
travelguidewith
everything
frominsideandoutsidethe gayborneedin yourbackpocketto find greatfood,
drinkandentertainment.
Thepricesfor hotels,
hoodsto WindyCitysightseeing
to whereto
restaurantsandattractionsaren'tdisclosed,
findthe ladies(includinghook-uptips).Outand
andthe informationaboutkid-friendlystuffto
Proud,editedbylesbianpublishingpowerdo andoutdoorrecreationis minimal.Still,the
houseandnativeChicagoan
TracyBaim,is the
guideis thoroughandwell-organized,
andthe
definitiveguideto Chicago's
queercommunity,
coverageof historicalqueerAtlantais top-notch. pastandpresent.Withessayscoveringthe city's
history,fromits originsasa prairiesettlementto
its innovative
responses
to theAIDScrisis,and
8 Andif Chicagois yourdestination,
addOut
andProudIn Chicago(www.agatepublishillustratedbynearly400images,this wonderful
collectiongivesthe city'sgaycommunityevery
ing.com)andA Reid Guldeto Gay& Lesbian
Chicago
(www.lakeclaremont.com)
to yourwish reasonto be proud.[Kimberly
Bale]
: ••••••• ►
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Subscribeto our
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editionand get
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(no more stacks of magazines
to recycle!)
Two women try to
tango their way back
to the bedroom.
Mc,1HanaFalcon started teaching women to tango at a lesbian community center
five years ago, but wanted to create something "more friendly and open," so she
created TangoQueer, a milonga-a tango dance studio-in San Telma, the oldest
neighborhood in Buenos Aires, Argentina. These days, the mi/onga is packed twice
a week with cute, mostly local women and a few men. The atmosphere is genial
but serious, and the evening starts with an hour-long group lesson. When the
lesson is over, most of the beginners drift back to the sidelines and let the cool,
practiced pairs sweep across the floor. This is the story of two women who lost the
spark in their relationship and went to Argentina to reignite it through tango-and
the woman who helped them along the way.
AINAHUNTER
Age:35
Profession:
journalist
Marriedto MargieWilliams
Uncompromisingly
femme
In my imaginarion \\'C have always been minor duracrcrs
L·ontcnr ro die in my arms. In all fairness, ftmr years can make
you sec rhings dif-frrcnrly. And we did have differences and
divisions, some of rhem crippling, bur we hobbled through.
Fast-forward
eight years. Married
now had one apartment
in
a RadclyHc Hall novel: ir's 1928, and we're arrisric Parisians
in i'vlassachuserrs, we
in New York, one home in rhe foot-
hills, one bearded collie d1ild subsrirure and one old SUV
(necessary for rhc hauling of cools and building materials, I
dashing from coffee shop ro opium den ro exquisite house
tcel compelled ro explain). Tl1e economy had crumbled around
parry. Myself writing, Ana·is Nin-ish; l'vbrgie raking picrures
our largely rented lifesrylc and rogcrher we wondered if our
of rhings, Ansel Adams-ish.
airline miles would bcL·ome as worthless as our 401 (k)s.
In rcaliry I am a newspaper reporter, a profession in which
dreaming
and imagining can gcr you fired. And in realiry.
i\fargie is a carpenter, another no-nonsense
profession.
"So, where arc you going fc.wyour honeymoont
friends and
Nevcrrhelcss,
rhcrc
was a honermoon,
afrer
all. To
Argentina. \Ve traded 10 days of August in New York ft)r 10
dars of early spring in Buenos Aires. "Ilic dollar being 1 to 3,
we knew we'd gorge on steak-a
novelry, what wirh us being
co-workers chliruscd weeks before our wedding. \Ve have been
members of char uniquely American breed of carnivore who,
a pair ( off and on, bur mosrly on) for over a decade. And ir is
while harboring an aversion
no exaggeration ( rho ugh I'm sure Margie would disagree-I
chicken and fish in rhe same c:negnry as shiirakes.
am consranrly being accused of hyperbole) ro say that we have
to
red mc;n, inexplicably places
I have a confession: \Ve wcnr ro Buenos Aires primarily ro
traveled the entire world rogerhcr. "!he idea of a honcynwon
learn tango. l'\'e held rhis information
seemed corny and redundant.
phobia abour learning ro dance and looking srupid. Tl1is pho-
\Ve have had quire a few honeymoon-like
firsr was a trip from Tokyo ro Hokkaido
adventures. Our
in 1996. \Ve held
each orhcr in a single bunk bed as rhe enormous cruise ship
pitched and tossed. A voice on a loud speaker cold our fel-
bia has, apparently, prevented me
frt)m
back because I have a
even rn)ing rhc word
"rango" until now. Bur there iris.
\Ve were grcered ar our San Tclmo aparrmenr
leather-skinned
bleach-blonde
by a rail.
in her 50s who gave us rhc
low passengers \\'here ro line up ro board litcboars in case of
name oLrn instructor. t'Vlcrcedcs looked Margie up and down.
disaster. \Ve couldn't understand
"If you learn ro lead well," she cold Margie, "you will be able
a word (so maybe che voice
to
was saying somerhing else complcrely). Ir didn'r marrer. \Ve
da1Kc anywhere, nor jusr rhe queer 111ilo11g,1.
All rhe girls will
just held cad1 ocher, content ro die in each other's arms off rhe
want
to
dance wirh you! Ir is true! You only have to lead!"
I'm sure I witnessed a fresh resolve in my spouse afrer rhar.
rocky, frigid coast.
\Ve had another honeymoon
four years later in Indonesia.
\Ve mer i\fariana Falcon, our rhirrysomcching
andro-femi-
staff covered our bed wirh flower petals. A srurdy-looking
nine instructor, ar her srudio on Avcndia Belgrado, and I was
girl instructed us on the swifr disabling of giant grasshoppers.
(Ir was an uncomfortable moment.)
didn't lcr on. \Ve had a hard rime ar first, bur probably no
·n1e
"I11arnight, rhc warm rain poured down on rhc black sand,
nor rraumarized.
If she thought I was amazingly clumsy, she
more so rhan any orhcr no\'iccs. \Ve had four daily two-hour
rhc sea level rose and lirrle waves licked ar our front door.
lessons, and on rhc night of the queer 111ilo11gd-a mosrly
I slepr, heavy as a corpse while Margie sar up tense in bed
female dance parer-we
imagining us being carried off
of people.
to
Australia, no longer feeling
were able ro rwirl and srrur in front
June 2009
I 53
We take pride in you
Pride in yourself. Pride in your community. We believe in celebrating what's important. That's
why we contribute to many LGBT nonprofits, encourage team members to volunteer, and help
Pride celebrations happen in many cities. Wells Fargo fosters a culture in which all people and
their individual differences are not only accepted, but celebrated! Happy Pride.
well sf argo.com/lgbt
Together we'll go far
~
© 2009 Wells Fargo, N. A. All rights reserved. Member FDIC. (121633_12634)
NOTMANY
QUEER
WOMEN
would consider Texas a prime vaca,
Top: Austin's
skyline; Inset:
Scenes from
Austin's Pride
parade
tion destination. The whole state is known as Bush Country,
because of the famously conservative president who was its
governor. Take a closer look, though. Austin may be the only
liberal gem in the whole state, but it is a true lesbian hot spot.
Unlike Chicago and St. Louis, for instance, where there
are specific streets and areas dedicated to the LGBT com,
munity, Austin's gay and lesbian scene is integrated
throughout the city.Live music, barbecue, Tex, Mex cuisine and
alternative culture abound. In a city boasting a population
of more than 700,000, tolerance is almost a requirement.
Bars and clubs can be found all around town, with a strong
cluster in the Warehouse District. With the University of
Texas and several other colleges in the city, the nightlife is
young, vibrant and accepting.
If you're a dyke who digs the dark, you'll enjoy pregame
action at the 1920s Club on Congress Avenue. It's known as
Austin's "classy"gay bar-part of a vintage '20s Chevy truck
protrudes from the south wall. The customers are friendly,
yet not intrusive. Don't leave before trying one of the bar,
tender's famous flavored martinis-choose
vanilla, chocolate
or almost any berry you can think of. They're all tasty. While
the crowd is predominantly male, women are no strangers to
this boozer.
Afterward, head over to the Rainbow Cattle Company at
West 5th Street to learn how to dance country. Show up on a
Thursday to catch ladies' night. Or, iflive music is what you're
looking for, either the Continental Club on South Congress
Avenue, or Rain at West 4th Street, is sure to meet your
needs.
Those who crave more hands,on entertainment are urged
to go to 'Bout Time Austin, a tavern,style bar catering specifi,
cally to the lesbian and gay crowd, 'Bout Time has everything
from drinks and darts to video games and sand volleyball.
If barhopping isn't your thing, there are plenty of alcohol,
free activities to occupy your nights. Check out Esther's Follies,
a comedy show that is guaranteed to have your gut busting.
With drag queens galore and audience participation in skits
like "Foot Sandwich" (where one lucky tourist eats a sandwich
made with a comic's feet), everybody's evening will start off on
the right note.
You'll certainly have perfect pitch if you round out your
night ~th a visit to the Austin Lyric Opera's innovative
Triangle on Stage program. It's been providing outreach
activities to the lesbian and gay community for close to two
decades. Before every production at the ALO, Triangle on
Stage hosts a meet,and,greet where participants can learn
more about opera from the directors, designers and singers
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LESBIAN
LAY-AWAYS
Hotel San Jose
www.sanjosehotel.com, $95 and up.
A lesbian-owned, bungalow-style hotel where artists
and musicians like to stay.
Brava House
www.bravahouse.com, $99 and up.
A lesbian-owned, all-inclusive B&B on a quiet residential street.
themselves. The meet-and-greet is free, so be sure to get
there early because it's first come, first served.
If you are nursing a hangover the following day, or just seeking a leisurely way to chill out for a while, a movie might be a
good option. The Alamo Drafthouse Cinema on Lake Creek,
one of four in the city, boasts a quiet ambience and a handful
of indie films daily. Enjoy a flick at a quaint table, where you
can be served eats and drinks as you watch.
Once you get your energy back, you might consider one of
Austin's outdoor options, like a hike at Zilker Metropolitan
Park on Barton Springs Road. If you are feeling more ambitious, a 30-minute drive to Hippie Hollow Park on Comanche
Trail is recommended. The park has a steep shoreline that
provides exquisite views of Lake Travis, and it's only $8 for a
day permit. Clothing-optional swimming and sunbathing is an
added bonus for the nudists among you.
If you can be there in June, consider making arrangements
that coincide with the Austin Gay and Lesbian Chamber of
Commerce Pride Parade and Pride Texas Festival (this year,
June 6 and June 14, respectively). Over 10,000 out-of-staters
travel to Austin for the extravaganza every year.
Traveling in September? Check out Austin's Gay and
Lesbian International Film Festival, the oldest and largest
LGBT film festival in the Southwest. Hundreds of films from
upwards of 15 countries are shown each year to tens of thousands of attendees.
Another experience to consider in the fall is the Texas 25
Rodeo. Hosted by the Travis Gay Rodeo Association, this
LGBT-specific event is packed with pool and dance parties,
as well as traditional rodeo competitions. The gay rodeo is
sure to be a one-of-a-kind Texas event for anyone from out
of state.
One thing that is a must-see, even if you're Transylvanian,
~ is the millions of bats under the Congress Avenue Bridge.
These Mexican free-tailed bats return from the South to
roost beneath the bridge every summer. Be sure to visit during sunset, when, like clockwork, the bats emerge in a black
cloud to feed in the nearby forest.
Since you're in the area, why not get some dinner at the
lesbian-owned Mexican cafe, El Sol Y La Luna. If you're not in
the mood for Mexican, there's always the South Congress Cafe
for Southwestern delicacies on or Vespaio for classic Italian.
Looking for more? While, sadly, there are no specifically
lesbian venues in the city, be sure to check for events at Book
Woman bookstore, or in "The Gay Place" of the weekly
Austin Chronicle.■
Mi Yard Bed and Breakfast
www.miyardbedandbreakfast.com, $100 a night.
An Austin bungalow decorated with old reggae posters. There
is a kitchen available for guest use, and a barbecue pit, as well.
Park Lane Guest House
www.parklaneguesthouse.com, $145 and up.
A lesbian-owned B&B in the hip SoCo district.
1110 Carriage House Inn
www.carriagehouseinn.org, starting at $130 a night.
The country breakfast at Carriage House Inn is one of the best.
Inter-Continental Stephen F. Austin Hotel
www.austin.intercontinental.com, $200 and up.
Four blocks from the Austin State Capitol and within walking distance
of the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum, the University of
Texas and the Lady Bird Lake Hike and Bike Trail.
The Driskill
www.driskillhotel.com, $180 and up.
An 1886 hotel with roomy quarters, original artwork, a gym, a
restaurant and even a pampered pet program for an extra $50.
GRUBBIN'
GAY
STYLE
• Salt Lick BBQ: www.saltlickbbq.com
• Uchi for Sushi: www.uchiaustin.com
• East Side Cafe for vegetarian cuisine: www.eastsidecafeaustin.com
• Rosie's Tamale House meets your Tex-Mex needs: (512) 263-5245
PRIDEOFNEWENGLAND
Provincetown is the place to be if you're out and proud-with
By Jennifer Corday
PROVINCETOWN,
MASS.,is a gay-friendly hot spot famous for its
great music and comedy, fine dining, cycling and shopping, not
to speak of dancing and drinking. The annual Women's Week
(Oct. 9-18 this year) is a great time to visit, or, if you're looking for a summertime destination, this East Coast haven has
everything you need for a perfect lesbian getaway (the lesbian
group, Women on a Roll makes an annual pilgrimage there).
The town thrives on its summer tourist industry, and is one of
the most popular gay destinations in the world.
Located at the tip of Cape Cod, Provincetown (or P-town,
if you're in the know) is 116 miles from Boston. If you Hyinto
Boston, the fastest route is to catch another Hight on Cape Air.
It will cost you, but you'll get to P-town in 25 minutes Hat.The
next best option is to take the ferry across the top of Cape Cod
Bay-it takes longer, but you'll be able to kick back and relax
for the 90-minute journey. Unfortunately, the
ferries run only during the summertime high
season, so you'll have to drive if you want to go
for this year's Women's Week. The three-hour
drive is lined with great scenery and you'll enjoy the fall foliage
in all its splendor. As you roll into the heart of Provincetown,
you'll appreciate the East Coast charm of this quaint little harbor town, not to mention the plethora of rainbow Hags.
Fishing has always been Provincetown's primary industry, and you can still see historical relics and buildings that
were once fishing lofts, warehouses and barns. Although
Plymouth is often thought to be the Pilgrims' first landing
spot, Provincetown harbor was actually where the Mayflower
first landed in 1620, and where the Mayflower Compact
ss Icurve
a capital P.
was signed. In the 20th century, artists and other bohemians
Hocked to P-town, making it quite the eclectic melting pot.
The Town Clerk's Office has issued more than 2,000 marriage licenses since same-sex was legalized in Massachusetts
in 2004, making it one of the most popular gay wedding destinations. Whether you are getting married or just vacationing,
you will love the feeling of freedom you get as you walk down
Commercial Street holding hands with your gal. It's as gay
as a Pride parade, without the rainbow beads and the Bible
thumpers. (Well, you might see some rainbow beads.) Enjoy
shopping along Commercial Street where you'll find jewelry,
art galleries, clothing and specialty shops.
The food is fabulous, so it's worth throwing a little extra
cash into your eating out budget. There are no fast-food restaurants, so you'll be forced to try the wonderful fine dining.
At the Red Inn I had one of
the best vegetarian meals of
my life, which the chef made
especially for me. The Red
Inn is known as one of the
oldest and most respected
spots on the cape for fresh
local seafood. For a more
laid-back vibe, jump into the
Lobster Pot in the heart of
Commercial Street. Try the
barbecue pepper shrimp or
the Asian steamed little neck
oysters and a beer. With a
view of the water and great
chefs, the Lobster Pot is one
of the most popular seafood joints in town-you
can't miss it. For something
a little farther off the beaten
path, try Napi's. A local favorite, Napi's is situated on a
windy street made bright and
cheerful with a variety of flowers, as well as local artists' work,
stained glass and carousel horses. The twinkly lights and warm
decor make it a fantastic place for a nice dinner with your lady.
I also loved the Art House Cafe-it's always a hub of activity. Owned by renowned chef Steve Frappoilli, the Art House
offers delicious homemade food all day and night. Try the
vegetarian dumplings-they are delicious. The Art House is
not only a restaurant; it has two stages that host nightly entertainment. The new theater seating, technical equipment and
Pride of New Englandcontinuedon page 71
OR MANY LESBIANS, the coming out process is
about openly claiming our sexual preferences, our bod,
ies and, through these, our identity. Often, the hard,
est part is being open when it's so easy to blend in and
hide. But for some in our community, coming out about being
a lesbian is the easy part. Lesbia~s with disabilities have to deal
with double the discrimination and, often, two closets.
"When I met the woman who 'brought me out' we dis,
cussed having seizures, [because she had them] as well;' recalls
a 68,year,old woman with epilepsy from Berkeley, Cali£ But,
she says,"at one point I had a seizure, and she really turned off
to me:' The memory of this rejection and her experience of
discrimination made this woman cautious about coming out,
and reluctant to provide her name for this article.
There is little information, and even less support, for lesbians
with disabilities. Even the Human Rights Campaign, with its
comprehensive manuals that speak to the African American
and Latino communities, lacks an outreach programs for les,
bians with disabilities.
"I know that I really did struggle with 'Can I be queer, and
can I be disabled?' " recalls Meredith Nicholson, who was 3
when she was diagnosed with pervasive developmental dis,
order, a disorder located on the autism spectrum. For her,
learning to have pride in her identity was crucial to becoming
more comfortable with being a lesbian with a disability. "If
60
Icurve
you can develop a sense of self, you can be queer and dis,
abled;' she says.
I asked all the women I interviewed for this piece the same
question: "Do you feel there is more discrimination against
being gay, being disabled or being both?" The response was
resounding. The disability closet is long and deep, and
often it's those who are assumed to be able,bodied that feel
discrimination most acutely, because part of their identity
is erased.
Chelsey Clammer is one of those people. She has a choice,
she says. "I can pass as straight. I can pass as able,bodied, and
this can be a privilege. Some people who are visibly or physi,
cally disabled, it's just not a choice:'
But Clammer doesn't think twice about identifying as queer,
and neither does Nicholson. Nicholson, now 18, asserts, "I am
more comfortable coming out to people as queer. I get really
anxious that if people know I have a disability they'll try to be
nicer to me, try to pity me, and I don't want that:'
For Nicholson, it was not that her experiences were negative
as much as they were negligible. In a middle school aftercare
program specifically designed for children with disabilities,
staff members voiced the common myth that having a dis,
ability makes one asexual. Nicholson recalls one staffer
saying, "Oh, isn't that cute. She's disabled and she found love:•
And, if Nicholson was allowed a sexuality, it was assumed
6
~
i
~
~
&?
;
that she was straight. She remembers another staff member
asking, "So, did you dance with any boys?"
Every lesbian has to deal with ignorant questions: Where's
your boyfriend? What do you look for in a man? Very few,
however, have been deemed unworthy of having any sexual
feelings at all. To combat this ignorance, Nicholson reveals
her sexual orientation separately from her disability.
"It's been a struggle to find a space where I can be comfortable being disabled or being gay;' Nicholson says. Clammer
may not have found that common ground, either, though she
says she cannot help but "feel that the identities are really
hard to extract from each other:'
But identity politics are not the only concern for lesbians with disabilities. Receiving appropriate medical care is a
pressing issue for the lesbian community as a whole, but for lesbians with disabilities it's especially relevant. According to the
Guidelinesfor Care of LGBT Patients by the Gay and Lesbian
Medical Association, 45 percent of lesbian and bisexual
women are not honest with their providers about their sexual
orientation, often because they don't have a safe, comfortable,
friendly atmosphere in which to disclose this information.
When Clammer was admitted to a psychiatric ward in college, for instance, she corrected the naivete of a clinician who
assumed she was struggling to come out. "I said, 'Lady, I've
been out and proud for four years: And they thought, obviously, I was depressed because I was a lesbian, and couldn't
deal with that:'
Karen Thompson and her partner Sharon Kowalski have
fought their own battle with homophobia in the medical
establishment. In 1983, a drunk driver hit Kowalski, leaving
her seriously disabled. Before the accident, Thompson says
she was too afraid to use the word "gay;'even within her own
household, and neither woman was out to her family. When
Kowalski's conservative, anti-gay family was given control of
her medical care, the couple were forced into the public eye to
fight a court battle for Thompson's status as legal guarantor.
The lengthy legal proceedings were counterproductive to
Kowalski's health, and she was left alone in a skilled nursing facility. Almost 10 years after the accident, in 1991, the
Minnesota Court of Appeals granted Thompson guardianship of Kowalski, setting a precedent for both the queer and
the disability communities. A film, Lifetime Commitment: A
Portrait of Karen Thompson, and several books were written about the case and its place in the history of LGBT
fight for equality, and is the reason why so many women
now have medical powers of attorney. Today, the couple use
their status as role models to educate people on how to be
more disability-friendly.
Looking back, Thompson realizes that coming out gave
more protections than they clhad when they were in the closet.
"I realized that as long as we're invisible, we're vulnerable;' she
says."We're much safer out of the closet:'
In 2007, Cathy Sakimura, an attorney with the National
Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), won another watershed
case for the LGBT and disability communities. When a lesbian
mother with a disability applied for federal disability benefits
for her non-biological son, the Social Security Administration
denied her application, even though a previous ruling by an
administrative judge stated that under California law the
woman was legally the child's parent. The NCLR stepped in
and assisted her attorney in winning the appeal. "This decision is extremely significant for children who are being raised
by LGBT parents with disabilities;' said Sakimura when
the case was won. "The Social
Security Administration has
recognized that a child may
have two legal parents of the
same sex and that the federal government must provide
these children with equal benefits;' said Sakimura when the
case was won.
In both these cases, the
law wound up protecting
the rights of people with disabilities, but their sexuality
made claiming those protections more difficult. Legally,
it seems more protections
are in place for citizens with
disabilities than for LGBT
people, but emotionally, the
community lags far behind.
Activists in both camps are beginning to recognize the benefits of uniting the two causes. And as intersections are drawn,
definitions expand. The expanded Hate Crimes Bill, for instance, which was passed in 2007, covers crimes committed
against individuals with disabilities as well as homosexuals.
More and more young lesbians with disabilities are rightfully claiming their sexual identity and their bodies, and
learning to be proud of both. And, as members of both communities begin to see each other as allies, these women will
begin to be the norm, not the exception. ■
"I really did struggle
with 'Can I be queer,
and can I be disabled:'
I am more comfortable
coming out to people
as queer. I get really
anxious that if people
know I have a disability
they'll try to be nicer
to me, try to pity me,
and I don't want that:'
June 2009
I 61
Baby Can You Hear Mei
How one deaf lesbiancame into her own. By Elise Roy
M
Y GIRLFRIEND and I were standing in the
kitchen making muffins for breakfast when
she clasped her hands around me from behind
and rested her chin in the niche of my shoulder. She whispered something in my ear that I could not
quite understand.
I turned to her and asked, "Olivejuice?" a bit wary as to how
that would taste in the muffins.
"No, silly.I love you:'
"Ohh;' I giggled.
Everyone asks me
the same questions
when they find out
that I am a deaf lesbian: Do you date
mainly deaf women?
Have all your girlfriends known sign
language? And my
personal favoritedo you need to keep
the lights on when
m
e
you have sex?
When I was 10
q estions when
years old and began
d out
losing my hearing,
that I am a deaf
no one could tell me why I was losing it or
how much I would eventually lose. My hearlesbian. Do you
ing continued to diminish for five years and
date mainly deaf then suddenly stopped. My hearing loss was
women: Have all classified as "profound;' meaning if someone
said 100 rand~m words while covering their
your girlfriends
lips and I guessed at every one, I might get
one right.
known sign
My parents decided to keep me enrolled
language: And
in the private school I was attending, afraid
that if they placed me in an all-deaf atmosmy personal
phere I would isolate myself from the hearfavorite-do you ing world. Although I am thankful in many
need to keep the ways for this decision, because it enabled
me to interact in both worlds, it meant that
lights on when
I would never receive any special help in
school beyond getting a classmate's notes,
you have sex:
that I would not learn sign language until
college and that I would not find myself in an all-deaf atmosphere until after law school.
I found myself constantly thrust into embarrassing and
frustrating situations that I didn't know how to handle. When
I went to places like McDonald's and tried to place my order, I
didn't anticipate that they would ask "Would you like to super-
th
62
fi
Icurve
size that?" or"Would you like anything else with that?" I didn't
know how or when to graciously say,"I have a hearing loss, can
you repeat that please?"
I learned quickly that I had to work twice as hard as my
peers if I wanted to achieve the same grades. The first quarter
after I began losing my hearing, I received a 28 percent on
a geography test. I needed an A in order to pass the class. I
spent an hour each night for a week before the next test having my mom quiz me. I got a 98 percent-the highest score
in the class.
I noticed, too, that my parents and teachers were now surprised when I achieved things like B's in school-something
that would have been expected from me before I lost my hearing. Somehow, despite this, I never let my disability define me.
In fact, in many ways I did not even view myself as disabled. I
even told my dad when I was 12 that I was going to go to an Ivy
League college and I was going to not only be on the national
soccer team, but also the national lacrosse team.
By high school I noticed something nagging at me that was
not my hearing, making me feel different from my friends. I
stood in my kitchen late one night, after my friends told me
that a teacher who I had been able to confide in (one who I
could not seem to get out of my mind) was leaving my school.
While I was thinking about why this news affected me so
much, a voice in my head said, "Elise, you might be gay:'
And then, during sophomore year at my Ivy League college
(with top-20 ranked soccer and lacrosse teams), I kissed my
best friend. She had been waiting for me to get ready, sitting
on the couch in my dorm suite. I could feel the electricity from
her eyes on my back as I stood in my bra, looking for a shirt
to wear. Sure enough, a few Jagermeister shots later, we found
each other's lips. We didn't talk about what happened until
a month later, when we kissed again. In one way, I was singing inside. I felt like Maria in The Sound of Music. Everything
finally felt right. But in another way, I was as scared as Regan
in The Exorcism.
Today, I can say that I finally feel as ifI am myself. Although
my hearing loss and my sexuality have made my life tougher
than the norm, they have also given me a career, taught me
determination and the benefits of working hard, taught me
how to get back up again after being knocked down and
molded me into who I am today. I am a former elite collegiate
athlete, someone who helped write an international treaty at
the United Nations to protect people with disabilities worldwide, someone who has been loved by a few amazing women
and someone who has had the guts to leave her career as a
lawyer to pursue her real dream of writing.
Oh, and to answer those questions-yes, all of my girlfriends
have been hearing, only one knew some sign language ... and
no, the lights do not need to be on during sex. ■
REVIEWSMusic Watch
Let Your Freak Fla
Celebrate Pride with out of the ordinary sounds. By Margaret Coble
Elizabeth
Willis(Little
BlackbirdRecords):
It's
Willis'entrancing
violinand
pianoaccompaniment
that
standoutin herself-titled
debutalbum.A prodigywho
beganstudyingclassicalmusicat age4, her
melodicinventions
bring
depthto hersmokyvocals,
whicharereminiscent
of Nina
SimoneandTracyChapman.
Independently
produced,
the
albumpromises
greatthings
fromthis multi-dimensional
artist.(www.elizabethwillis.com)
[KelsyChauvin]
Over the top and at the
same time musically
impeccable, Mistress
Stephanie & Her Melodic
Cat deliver surprisingly
infectious musical
theater with a darkly
humorous edge.
What better way to celebrate Pride than with these
beyond,queer sounds by eccentric singer,songwriter
Larkin Grimm, theatrical dance,punk duo Mistress
Stephanie & Her Melodic Cat and the simply uncat,
egorizable Antony and the Johnsons.
Parplar,
LarkinGrimm(Young
God):This latest 15,song
disc has been referred to as Grimm's most conven,
tional; all I can say is, it's pretty much what you might
expect from someone who was raised by hippie par,
ents in a religious cult in Memphis, Tenn., spent the
remainder of her childhood in the Appalachians of
Georgia, being "raised by the family dog," and then
studied art off and on at Yale for many years before
learning healing massage in Thailand and befriending
a Cherokee shaman in Alaska. A free spirit who has
identified as both transgender and genderless, Grimm
has an eccentric freak,folk sound that has more in
common with Coco Rosie than with Bjork, despite
comparisons made to both. Alternately moaning,
64
I curve
wailing, cooing and whispering, Grimm's vocal range
is surpassed only by her instrumental range, which
includes acoustic guitar, banjo, Casio keyboard,
Chinese harp, violin and mountain dulcimer. Cuts
like the gentle string ballad "They Were Wrong," the
galloping dark rocker "Ride That Cyclone" and the
bluegrass crooner"Fall on My Knees" are fairly acces,
sible, while the shrill chant "Mina Minou Final" and
~
the blippy, warbling title track go a much more experi, ~
a:
mental route. You're either going to love it or hate it; I ~
love it. (www.younggodrecords.com)
~
~
Take That!, MistressStephanie& Her MelodicCat
(Pressing):Making what has been called "sado,
vaudevillian punk;' this genderfucking performance,
art duo from Austin, Texas, perhaps watched Cabaret
a few times too many while listening to a mash,
up of Marlene Deitrich, Kraftwerk and polka
music. Over the top and at the same time musically
impeccable, Stephanie Stephens and Adam Sultan-
~
f:3
..J
~
g
~
j
iii
~
~
z
~
mistress and kitty, respectively-deliver
surprisingly infectious musical theater with
a darkly humorous edge. The instrumental
"Weimar" sets the scene, with its military
drum cadence, dramatic pianos and spaghetti
Western guitar twangs, launching directly
into "Get Off My Chest;' the opening vocal number that introduces their characters.
"Shake Your Dance Stick" is a tongue-incheek Euro-trash synthfest that could easily
have been featured on Saturday Night Live's
"Sprockets" spoof from the late 1980s, and "I
Hate Cabaret" is a hilarious self-parody. It's
an entertaining romp from beginning to end.
(www.mistressandkitty.com)
Capades
ObiBest
(SocialScience)
Sangria
MariahParker
(AncientFuture)
Ledby Birdandthe
Instrumental
albums
Beebackupsinger
rarelycatchmyear,
AlexLilly'scrystalline butthisworldfusion
vocals,thisduooffers setbytheacclaimed
anexquisitely
produced California
jazzpianist
debutCDfilledwith
is a hypnotic
tourof
catchymelodies,
clever globalgrooves,
melding
lyricsandairyelecIndianandMiddle
tronic-enhanced
pop. Eastern
instrumentaThebouncyrhythmon tionwithLatinrhythms.
"NothingCanCome
Indianandflamenco
Between
Us"will stick musiccollideviacello
in yourheadfor days. andtablain thetitle
Thelayeredblipsof
track,whileHindustani
"SwedishBoy"make vocalscattingspicesup
mesmile.(www.socia/-"TenthJourney."(www.
sciencerecs.com)
ancient-future.
com)
The CryingLight,Antonyand the Johnsons
(SecretlyCanadian}:
I mentioned their fivesong EP Another World a few months ago,
but now that the full album is out, it's worth
some more ink. Merging an
indie pop aesthetic with
classical
instrumentation
and dramatic theatricality, openly
transgender
Antony Hegarty disarms
with his otherworldly voice
and
heart-piercing
lyrics, which, on this set, are
themed around "landscapes
and the future:' The album
and tide track are dedicated
to Japanese butoh dancer Kazuo Ohno,
whom Hegarty refers to as his "art parent:'
The first single, "Epilepsy Is Dancing;' is a
gorgeous dreamscape brought to life in an
equally stunning video by the Wachowski
Brothers depicting a mystic vision during
an epileptic seizure. ''.Another World;' from
the previously mentioned EP, deals with
climate change and saying goodbye to the
world we've known. It's not party music, but
it will definitely reach into your heart and
soul. (www.secretlycanadian.com)
■
PickingOutBoxes
LindsayKatt
(self-released)
DanceMother
Telepathe
(IAMSOUND)
Here'sa freshsound,
fromthequeer,
NYC-based
singersongwriter
whose
debutdiscis a melodic
popmasterpiece,
particularlythesoaring
pianopop-rockanthem
"Out& About"andthe
perkycello-centric
"My
Happy."ToriAmos,eat
yourheartout.(www.
lindsaykatt.com)
If hard-driving,
dark
electro-pop
is more
yourspeed,then
thisdebutfrom
queerBrooklyn
duo
MelissaLivaudais
and
BusyGangnes
(who
pronounce
theband's
name"telepathy")
is
a must-have.
Edgier
thanUhHuhHer,with
an '80sBerlin-meetsBauhaus
vibe.(www.
iamsoundrecords.
com)
Q+A
Cortney Tidwell
Cortney Tidwell's 2006 debut
album Don't Let the Stars Keep
Us TangledUp seemed to come
out of nowhere. Its ravishing guitar pyrotechnics, brittle electronic excursions and intimate torch
songs ensured critical adoration
and it has become something
of a word-of-mouth phenomenon. But with its follow-up,
Boys,which will be released this
month and was two years in the making,
the woman described as "Nashville's own
Little Sparrow" -an undisguised reference to Edith Piaf-eclipses that opening
set with nonchalant bravado.
Yourspentyourchildhood
yearswithheadphones
clamped
toyourears.Whatwere
youlistening
to?
Van Halen, Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper,
Johnny Cash, Depeche Mode, the Cure
and a lot of radio. Those were the days
when radio was actually good.
Describe
yoursongwriting
process.
Well, I just have a drink and sit down and
play. Ifl'm lucky, I have a recorder going,
but most of the time I don't because I
can't be bothered with all the technicalities that go along with making music. I'll
record a song with just music and I'll sing
syllables. Some sound like actual words. I
then go back and listen to what I've done
and try to make out the words, which, in
the end, make some sort of sense. It's all
stream of consciousness with music.
Whatis themostimportant
partin a song?
The melody is the basis for everything
I do.
Whatisyourfavoritepartof performing?
Getting lost. I love to get lost in it, I'm in
my own world.
Doyoupreferthestudioorthestage?
I prefer my basement, with loads
of booze.
Howhasbeinga motherchanged
you?
Giving birth is the greatest moment of a
woman's life, if she chooses that journey.
It's magical. Molding a mind is scary, but
it is, by far, my greatest accomplishment.
(wwwfeverqueen.com)[DahliaSchweitzer]
June 2009
I65
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Takin a Look Inside
Tap into a different kind of energy this month. By Rachel Pepper
Del LaGrace Volcano's photos capture the energy
and power of femme dykes, while lesbian writer
Achy Obejas paints a portrait of Cuba in the summer of 1994.
Femmesof Power:Exploding
QueerFemininities,
Del
LaGrace
VolcanoandUlrikeDahl(Serpent's
Tail):Few
queer photographers have both the observatory
Therecentreleases
from
and the visionary power of Del LaGrace Volcano.
mastersof the quillNikki
Giovanni
andMichelle Capturing the late 1980s dyke scene in his seminal
1991 collection Love Bites,Volcano immortalized the
Cliffarea balmfor that
one
moment when urban dykes were rowdy, tattoos
ill-at-easefeelingbrought
were
for outlaws, gay marriage was laughable and dyke
onbywatchingthe news.In
Cliff'sshortstorycollection bars teemed with girls who didn't resemble the cast
Everything
Is Now,moments of The L Word. Volcano went on to publish a book
aredisplayed
in meticulous (with Judith "Jack" Halberstam) about drag kings in
cross-section
to revealthe
the late '90s, as well as some European monographs,
depthof meaningin human
interaction.
Herfirst collection including the collection Sex Works 1978-2005. In
of nonfiction,
If I CouldWrite all of them, Volcano (previously known as Della
Grace) has both captured queer counterculture and
Thisin Fire(published
last
year),is a memoirfollow- helped to create it. In Femmes of Power, a collaboraingCliff'strajectoryfroman
tion between the Swedish theorist Ulrika Dahl and
Americanized
childobserv- Volcano, the lens is turned on dyke femmes through
ingcolorlinesin colonial photos, personal essays, interviews and letters. As
Jamaica,
to hereducation
diverse an assemblage of femme women as you could
in London,
to herreluctant
embrace
of life in theStates. imagine, the book includes bearded femme women,
multi-tattooed women, fat women and a mix of eth(Bothbooksareavailable
from
the University
of Minnesota nicities, nationalities and racial and gender identities.
Press.)In Bicycles:
Love While the book never coasts on queer celebrity, its
Poems(WilliamMorrow), subjects do include several well-known femmes,
Giovanni
opensandcloses including the filmmaker Pratibha Parmar, writers
withpoemsabouttragic
Valerie Mason-John and Michelle Tea, the musieventsin hercommunity:
the
violentmurdersin Blacksburg cian Bitch, members of Atlanta's Femme Mafia and
the Swedish Parliamentary member Josefin Brink.
byanescaped
inmatein
2006,andthe2007Virginia As befits Volcano's international queer citizenry,
Techshooting.
Theremain- the book includes, but never overplays, American
ingpoemsarea callto count femmes, giving ample nods to French, Swedish,
one'sblessings,
celebrating German and English femmes along with their North
loveinall its minorandmajor American sisters. Although most of the text is writkeys.(www.upress.umn.edu,
ten by Dahl, femme pioneer Amber Hollibaugh
www.harpercollins.com)
[Andrea
Millar] concludes by surmising succinctly that "Femmes of
Power is a book of survivors' tales. It gives us a place
to behold femme images, take risks and contemplate
setting off on dangerous journeys ... femmes matter ...
here:' (www.serpentstail.com)
authors, indy presses like Akashic Books have taken
up the slack. Building on a solid backlist of LGBT
authors, Akashic has just released Achy Obejas' newest novel, Ruins. Set in Cuba in the summer of 1994,
it tells the story of Usnavy, a man named with pride
by a mother hopeful about the American presence on
the island. Still optimistic about the promises of the
Cuban revolution, Usnavy gradually becomes more
aware of reality through the hardships he faces. The
novel tells of a society in rubble where there is no
reliable public transportation and no gas for cars,
tenements teem with new arrivals and a bright sun
shines down on a people hungry for food and for
change. As Usnavy watches his friends flee on homemade rafts, flocking to escape to the United States,
he begins to come to terms with the conflicts of his
family and his country. At the same time, he seeks
deliverance and gains understanding for the book's
main LGBT character, Raina, the transgender child
of a friend. Obejas, a native Cuban, has written exten__sivelyabout her homeland and is the author of many
novels and short story collections, including the
more LGBT themed collection We Came All the Way
from Cuba So You CouldDressLike This. In Ruins, she
successfully creates an empathetic portrait of both a
Ruins,
AchyObejas
(Akashic
Books):
As feminist presses country in crisis and a male character that women
close down and mainstream publishers drop queer readers will relate to well. (www.akashicbooks.com)
■
66
Icurve
fil
~
~
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19.
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Q+A
Andi Zeisler
Bleeding
Hearts
LindyCameron
(BywaterBooks)
FromBananas
to
Buttocks
MyraMendible
(University
of
TexasPress)
WhenanAustralian
TV
presenter
getsa death
threat,there'sonlyone Intheseessays,
smart-talking,
redhead- Mendibleprojectsthe
popularized
image
loving,bumbagof the Latinabody
wieldingdetective
for
thejob:KitO'Malley.
As throughthe lensof
critique.
Kitjuggleslife,loveand postmodern
a murderinvestigation, Readaboutthe rise
of theclassicfilm star
thesnappydialogue
LupeVelez,thecultural
keepsthesuspense
impactJ. La'sposterior
freshfromstartto
or theveryimportant
dramaticfinish.Fair
dinkum.(www.bywa- jobthat is beingSalma
terbooks.com/xcart) Hayek.(www.utexas.
edulutpress)
[AM]
[Andrea
Millar]
Periphery
Ed.LynneJamneck
(LethePress)
Thiscollection
of
lesbianstorieswends
its waythroughsci-ti
territorybothnewand
familiar:spaceships
andpolitics,interrogationroomsandfertility
rituals,dystopias
and
verdantterraforms.
In
fact,thedelectability
of
theseunearthly
scenes
cc
w
oftenovershadows
[ij
!::!. the steamy
action,but
that'snota badthingif
~ youlikeyourpornwith
~
w
a plot.(www.lethepLL
LL
ressbooks.com)
[AM]
~
_J
Cf)
Cf)
_J
_J
SantaOlivia
Jacqueline
Carey
(GrandCentral
Publishing)
It's a dusty,hopeless
existence
in Santa
OliviauntilLoup
Garron,
a fearless,
immeasurably
strong
girlwith hybrid-wolf
DNA,threatens
to upset
the military-imposed
order.Ca!ey'ssignature
eroticismandaction
drivethisfuturistic
werewolffableand
keepthepagesturning.
(www.hachettebookgroup.com)
[Rachel
Beebe]
For nearly 15 years, Andi Zeisler and Lisa
Jervis's unruly brainchild, the quarterly
Bitch:FeministResponseto Pop Culture,has
delighted and provoked anyone interested
in how pop culture hurts or helps women.
Seal Press recently released Zeisler's book
Feminism and Pop Cultureas part of its
Seal Studies series, complete with readers'
guides and extensive bibliographies to
accompany Zeisler's incisive, impeccably
researched essays on the relationship
between the women's movement and mass
culture from the 1940s to the present.
Zeisler deconstructs major pop-culture
phenomena and provides a comprehensive
introduction to key concepts that might
even release your inner bitch.
Howdoyoumanage
tospendsomuchtime
criticizing
popculturewhenit'sobvious
that
youalsokindof loveit?
I think I'm able to like the actual products
themselves a lot more now than I did 13
years ago when we started Bitch.I'm much
more likely to see the positive aspects of
what I'm consuming-which doesn't mean
that I don't see the negative ones, just that
I'm choosing to focus on what's interesting
to me. Seeing another in a series of 3 zillion
commercials where a housewife is enthusing about a cleaning product is vaguely
annoying, but I'd rather concentrate on how
much I like the female lead character on the
new HBO drama, or whatever.
Somepeoplearguethatcertainrepresentationsofwomen-especially
queerwomen,
womenofcolorandothermarginalized
groups-maynotbepositive
now,butare
"a goodstart."Whatdoyouthinktheright
response
tothatis?
I think any time there's a representative
of a marginalized or minority population
in a breakout show or band or whatever,
there are going to be people who don't feel
truly represented and are resentful that
they' re expected to feel satisfied with one
or two people or fictional characters who
are maybe sort of like them. I would never
tell anyone that they should be happy,
say, that there's a transgender character
on The L Word, or that they should now
expect to feel understood and validated
in the larger world. It's not helpful if the
representations don't do anything to
combat stereotypes: I would imagine, for
instance, that people who were longing for
more representation of bisexual folks in
pop culture weren't necessarily hoping for
Tila Tequila.
Youendyourbookwitha callto makepop
culturebetter.Howcanwe dothat?
If yc0ucruise around YouTube, there are
people constantly responding to, reworking
and spoofing TV shows and advertisements. And there's great industry criticism,
like Entertainment Weekly, and sites like
Television Without Pity constantly
nudging the bigwigs behind the studios
and the publishing houses, reminding
them that without fans there is no pop
culture. It's easy to assume that consumers
are less discerning because there's so much
more crap out there to consume, but you
could also make the opposite argument:
Pop culture is getting better because there
is so much to choose from and because,
increasingly, there's the option to not
simply consume, but to create.
What'sa totallycurrentpopculturephenom
you'reobsessed
withcritiquing
rightnow?
I don't know if I'm obsessed with
critiquing Facebook or just obsessed
with it, period. I guess both ... there are
so many people from my past who have
added me as friends but not sent a message of any kind. If I ran into someone
from elementary school on the street and
all they did was nod and keep walking, I
would think that was bizarre-but
that's
more or less what happens to me on
Facebook several times a week. It's virtual
nodding. [JuliaBloch]
June 2009
I67
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Livin in a Dream
Who says you can't have the life you want? By Candace Moore
My Home-YourWar
(Women
MakeMovies):
Australian
filmmakerKylie
GreyturnsherlensonLayla
Hassan,
anIraqicivilianwho
wantstheWestto hearher
story-and thetruestory
of hernation.Toldoverthe
courseof threeyears,beginningjustbeforetheU.S.-led
coalitionattackin March2003,
thisremarkable
documentary
reveals
therealityofthewar
in Iraqasseenthroughthe
eyesof anordinarycitizen
wholivedit.Thefilmtellsof
a dailyexistence
livedin fear
andfrustration,
survivalin the
harshest
conditions
andthe
tenacityof a womandeterminedto showtheworldwhat
warhasdoneto hercountry.
(www.wmm.com)
[Rachel
Beebe]
68
Icurve
Whether jamming in a Manhattan loft or frolicing in
the French countryside, this month women refuse to
take what life gives them. Born in '68 and The Guitar
open up a space for idealism and desire.
Bornin 168 (StrandReleasing):
This countercultural
epic begins dt:1ringFrance's May 1968 uprisings and
follows one matriarch's many lovers, friends and family members from those radical, revolutionary days
to more quiet ones in the Internet age. Refusing
notions of marriage, property and taboos around sex,
Catherine (Laetitia Casta) and her compatriots create
a leftist commune in the French countryside. It begins
as a nai"veproject-no one knows how to properly
repair the roo£ and food (besides produce from the
cannabis-overrun vegetable patch) is often sparse.
However, the young adults pool their resources and
frolic naked in the wilderness, weaving, collecting
flowers and making love as a collective. By the end
of the '70s, the more casual believers have abandoned
the dream, but Catherine remains, raising her two
children outside consumer society. Her daughter
Ludmilla (Sabrina Seyvecou) rebels from Mom's
hippie ways, while Boris (Theo Frilet) matures into a
gay activist who participates in ACT UP protests in
Paris throughout the AIDS epidemic. Powerful act-
ing, encouraging politics and historical accuracy over
a 40-year period grace this accomplished film about
living up to one's ideals. (strandreleasing.com)
TheGuitar(Lightning
Media):In the same day, Melody
(Saffron Burrows) gets dumped, loses her job and
learns she has an inoperable form of larynx cancer
that will kill her within a few months. About to
slit her wrists, she glances at a picture of a spacious
Manhattan loft for rent on a temporary basis. She
moves into the cavernous space, throws her clothes
out the window and lives like a monk, waiting to die.
Then she changes gears, pulls out a wallet full of credit
cards and begins to decorate her dream pad with the
most extravagant items, explaining that these things
speak to her in the "language of objects:' She orders
whatever's on special at all of local delivery joints
and fulfills her every whim, never leaving the loft.
Thus, the people who come to her door-the pizza
delivery girl, Cookie, and the guy who delivers the
furniture, Roscoe-become her lovers. She buys the
red Fender Stratocaster she always wanted, learns
to play it and is soon rocking out from mammoth
amps, alone in her home. This vibrant indie flick
is a reminder to live the life you've always dreamed
of-now. (www.media.lightningent.com)■
er
~
5
f2.
m
Cl
~
Q
Q
Q+A
Planning
Parenthood
Melanie Salazar Case
Queer up,and,comer Melanie Salazar
Case's credits are nothing to sniff at. She's
a member of the popular San Francisco,
based improv group Killing My Lobster,
and she wrote, directed and starred in the
LGBT,themed short OrificeVisit,about one
woman's hilariously nightmarish experience
with a (male) gynecologist. Case is currently
starring alongside Margaret Cho in the
SXSW dark,c~medy hit The Snake.
Didyougetto doanyimprovin TheSnake?
There's a couple of scenes where it's just me
and Adam (Goldstein] driving around ...
trying to get the right backgrounds. We
didn't have enough scripted material. .. so we
were just kind of improvising.
Tome,thehardest
partof improvwouldbe
gettingovertheself-consciousness,
butyou
reallygoforit andbesilly-how doyoudoit?
I've tended to be a pretty uninhibited person
my whole life. When I was doing comedy
in junior high
and high school,
people would give me positive validation for
making [them] laugh. And a lot of times the
more extreme it was, the funnier it became.
WheredidyougettheideaforOrifice
Visif/
I had been given, by this kind of hippy
dippy friend of mine ... this natural guide to
taking care of your fertility, and there were
these disgusting pictures of cervices with
cervical fluid literally oozing out. And I was
like, "OK, I don't know what I'm going to do
with this, but I've got to do something:'
Whydidyougivetheendinga queertwist?
When I made (it] I wasn't necessarily set,
ting out to make an LGBT film, but it just
so happens that the character's arc, I felt,
would be best suited if she ended up being
a lesbian. It's a little bit self referential, too,
because I'm queer ... so it's kind of like a
coming out film in some ways.
[Rachel
Shatto]
If
I!;
}1
'
in Fertili!JAssistance,
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Gloria Richard-Davis,M.D., FACOG,
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Season
II Another
Carmen
andGeoffrey Alicein Wondertown Rick& Steve,
Man'sGarden
(FirstRunFeatures) (FirstRunFeatures) (Logo)
(FirstRunFeatures)
Rick
&
Steve,
the
A movement-filled
Justouton DVD,this
"Whydoyoulet her
sexiest,smartest
toy
documentary
aboutthe surrealCubanfilm
goto school?"Sofia's
dancingduoCarmen causeduproarin Cuba figuresonTV,are
sisteraskshermother.
deLavallade
and
whenit wasreleased backwitha second
"Youknowtheysay
season.
From
lesbian
Geoffrey
Holder.
When in 1991andit was
sendinga girlto
musical
numbers
about
thecouplemetin the
yankedfromtheaters
artificialinsemination
to schoolis likewatering
'50s,deLavallade
was withinfourdays.The
anotherman'sgarden."
snarky
commentary
on
alreadyanestablished femalehero,Alicia,
pseudo-celebrities,
this Sofia,a younggirl
dancer,
andHolderhad is at thecenterof a
in Mozambique
who
seasoncomments
on
justarrivedin NewYork satireaboutCuban
dreamsof becoming
the
queer
community's
Cityfromhisnative
propaganda,
withthe
Trinidad.
Shetookhim mythicalWondertown mostpertinentissues a doctor,mustchoose
between
sleeping
with
underherwingand
representing
theworst withstyleandhumor.
herbiologyteacher
thetwoproceeded
to
Lesbians
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of civiloppression
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to nametheirkid Dick or losingherchance
andcomplacency.
A
at admission
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A celebration
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remarkable
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tradition?Nowthat's
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REVIEWSTech Girl
Pushin the Ri ht Buttons
A place to call home for lesbian gamers. By DanieUe Riendeau
Mirror'sEdge(Electronic
Arts):Thisvibrantlycolorful
videogamewithgleaming
whitebuildingsandbright
redpipes,doorsandrampsis
fast-paced
andat timesdifficult.Theplotis easyenough
to follow:Undertheoppressionof anoverbearing
regime,
you,Faith,runmessages
for therebelsdemanding
freedom.Butthestorytakes
a turnwhenFaith'ssisteris
framedfor murderandit's
upto youto saveher.Giving
a nodto parkour,
thesport
of extremewalking(toput
it mildly),Faithruns,jumps
andswingsthroughthe
landscape.
Thedownside
to
thisgameis that it hasa firstpersonperspective,
soyou
neveractuallyseeFaithslide
underpipes,leapfromrooftop
to rooftopor shimmyupwalls,
andthe cameraanglescanbe
a bit dizzying.
Overall,
it's still
a fungameif youhavethe
patience.
Outfor PS3,
Xbox360andPC.
($40,www.ea.com)
[KatiePeoples]
70
Icurve
Until very recently, lesbians who called themselves video game fans had no place to call home.
That is, until founders Angela Simpson and Tracy
Whitelaw became fed up with the boy-centric
world of the gaming "blogosphere" and built their
own site, www.lesbiangamers.com, to accommodate
women of every description-especially, as the name
implies-lesbians.
"Lesbiangamers started because we realized there
were no dedicated lesbian gaming websites and we
felt like we wanted to give an alternative look at gaming to our community;' says
Whitelaw of their inspiration.
The site offers everything from
serious analysis of queer representation in the industry to
hilarious fantasy features on
'closeted" lesbian game characters. The Lesbiangamers.com
ladies call it 'gaming news with
a lesbian slant, articles and
game reviews with a little dash
of dyke:'
Readers know exactly what
they're getting into when they
spy the "because sometimes we
use our hands for other things"
banner winking at them from
just below the.site's logo.
'J\ngela asked me for a catchphrase for the site;' explains
Whitelaw, laughing. "I was in a bit of a playful mood,
as I tend to be. It was tongue-in-cheek. I mean, gamers, hands, lesbians-it's all interconnected rightt
Being extremely out-and playful about it-has
been a part of Simpson and Whitelaw's mission from
day one. "We have had people say,'Why do you need
to state that you're lesbian? Isn't just being a gamer
enough?"' says Whitelaw. "We get that, we understand it ... but, you know, there are gay gaming sites
out there, too. We're not lesbian gamers to be exclusive, we're lesbian gamers to show we exist:'
Simpson handles the day-to-day writing and
design for the site, while Whitelaw acts as the PR
representative and co-hosts their Gay Girls Who
Game vlog. The couple runs the site (along with
www.lesbiangeek.com) as a labor of love, without
much advertising support.
"We believe in it;' says Whitelaw. ''The support we get
from gamers who are lesbian and love the site is great:'
Both women are proud of the thriving community
that's grown up around Lesbiangamers.com, a fact
they chalk up to the site's "safe haven" approach.
"We are so lucky that the forum pretty much
runs itself. We have some great members who are
extremely active and very protective of the kind of
content that is on there;' says Whitelaw. "It is so nice
to feel safe and free in any kind of online community,
and we're so proud of that and want to maintain it:'
It's true that gaming is one of the few entertainment forms in which there's very little diversity, a fact
that Whitelaw attributes to the perception that "only
geeky boys" play games. But that certainly won't stop
these two from fighting the good fight, and cooking
up a few game ideas of their own in the meantime.
"If I were the one creating a lesbian-themed video
game-God help us all;' says Whitelaw, laughing. "I
personally would love to see a lesbian James Bondstyle game. You know, a very strong, female character,
baby butch looks, absolutely identifiable as a lesbian,
a female love interest, but of course gets plenty of
other interest throughout. (She'll have] lots of flirty
Bond-like lines and lots of action mixed with detectivestyle stuff to show off her brains:' She pauses, taking
stock of her proposal. 'Tm thinking I'm giving too
much away here!" ■
l
Pride of New England continued from page 58
A Tale of the Bionic Woman continued from page 41
expanded lobby, along with changing art exhibitions, make the Art House a must-see.
Spiritus Pizza is absolutely the most happening hot spot every night after the bars close,
as everyone gathers inside and out to devour
gourmet Greek pizza-and ice cream, too.
We rented bikes one day and rode out to
see the beauty of the cape. Enjoy picture-perfect views of the dunes at dusk and the sight
of the Atlantic Ocean. When you're ready
for some nightlife, you will be overwhelmed
with options during both Women's Week and
Memorial Day Weekend. The hottest lesbian
comics are always there. Last year's lineup included Suzanne Westenhoefer, Vickie Shaw,
Jennie McNulty, Mimi Gonzalez, Poppy
Champlin, Michele Balan, Kate Clinton and
many more fantastic up-and-coming comics.
The shows are intimate and fun, and you can
sometimes catch several in an evening.
When you are ready to go clubbing, head
for the PiedBar on Commercial Street and
work your way down. The Pied has a big
patio overlooking the water and spins great
dance music all night long. I also partied at the
Crown & Anchor-and even entered a wet
T-shirt contest. I was initially there to judge,
but ended up participating after Vickie Shaw
twisted my arm.
Vixen has a newly renovated state-of-theart dance club and a rockin' stage at floor level.
There are pool tables and a bar, if you want to
mix and mingle, or if you're looking for some
lipstick action, head upstairs to the wine bar.
Women's Week features singer-songwriter
folk-acoustic artists performing intimate
shows at a variety of venues. You might catch
lesbian icons like Cris Williamson and Holly
Near, or see the fabulous Catie Curtis or
Melissa Ferrick. If you have a chance to catch
P-town local Zoe Lewis performing live,
you must. Her show is the most refreshing,
quirkiest and most adorable thing I've seen
in years-she had me completely entranced.
Women's Week is a calmer, cooler folk scene,
as opposed to Memorial Day Weekend, which
is much more rock 'n' roll. Pick the right time
of year to attend, knowing that the crowd during Memorial Day Weekend is much younger
and very mixed.
Regardless of when you go, be assured
that your visit to Provincetown will leave you
feeling refreshed and alive. The classic New
England beach scenery combined with the
super-gay-friendly atmosphere make it a truly
one-of-a-kind lesbian experience. ■
Wagner still feels a deep appreciation for
her bionic experience. 'J\.ll these years later,
it still sends this wave of gratitude through
me that I was a part of that ...
because I know it's not just
me. I feel like it's the universe
and it's divine, because l want
to live my life in service:'
I can't imagine my life as
a child in the '70s without
the presence of the Bionic
Woman. The character still
represents a rare combination
of strength, independence,
intelligence and courage-
not to mention a knack for fashion and
accessories. Before there was Sarah Connor,
G.I. Jane, Trinity, Buffy, Xena, La Femme
Nikita, Seven of Nine, Lara
Croft, Tank Girl, Dana
Scully or Sydney Bristow,
there was a woman out
there paving the way and
melting hearts. In the place
where television nostalgia
meets timeless beauty and
power you'll find yours
truly flopped, on a beanbag,
watching old episodes of The
Bionic Woman. ■
Fertility and life is the rose. the sublime blossom.
the womb from which all enter the world.
Embrace your magnificent feminine self.
··'-:~. Pul»h~.
,
. . ·~
Lac.
.• www ... o .. u ■ Ll ■ HtND.DDM
EnJOYfamily.
Ertjoy life.
June 2009
I71
TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
ALASKAGLACIERS
& BAYSCRUISE
September 20-27, 2009
Sarah Katherine Lewis
HALLOWEEN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
The author of Sex and Bacon has us drooling. By Catherine Plato
October 25-November 1, 2009
It's easy to fall for the charms of this queer
author, online advice columnist and 10-year
sex work veteran. Her 2006 sex work memoir, Indecent: How I Make It and Fake It as a
Girl for Hire, and her 2008 essay-and-recipe
collection, Sex and Bacon: Why I Love Things
That Are Very, Very Bad for Me, reveal Lewis
to be funny, fearless and iiber-intelligentbut with a rare sincerity and vulnerability
that make her all the more appealing. Here's
what we love most about her:
1. Her rockerchick style. With hot, girly
curves, arms adorned in ink and hair that
occasionally changes color, Lewis is a selfdescribed 'chubby tattooed metalhead".
When choosing a "sexy"costume for an office
holiday party, Lewis rejected the traditional
and opted to go as Axl Rose. She wanted to
get in touch with "the kind of sexy that lives
in my pussy and lower gut;' she explained. "[It
was] more about the hot thrum I felt inside
than the way I looked on the outside:' Hot.
2. In a worldthatpraisesasceticwomen,she's
anunashamed
hedonist.
Lewis loves the things
society tells women they shouldn't. "I tend to
want what I want, and I tend to actively strive
and achieve what I want;' she says.
3. Shehasa rare,unparalleled
gift for writing
aboutmeat.I knew Lewis was special when I,
a lifelong veggie, found myself salivating over
her meat descriptions throughout Sex and
Bacon. Whale meat, she says, "was like eating every swimming, crawling creature in the
ocean, inhaling krill through gritted teeth. It
was like eating the ocean itself' The book's
smattering of recipes morph into wildly sensual, visceral and erotic experiences. And she
has this to say about bacon: "Each strip's fatty
section swelled and curled coyly in the pan,
making seductive popping noises. Shhhhhhh,
the bacon whispered, promising discretion:'
comes off as pretentious, punctuating her sassy
smarts with swear words-kind of like a badass brainiac older sister who used to cut class all
the time and still got straight /\s.
VALLARTAPALACE
RESORT
November 14-21, 2009
7. As a shameless,
nonironic,
hardcore
Britney
Spears
fan,shecallsoutthemisogynistic
mainstreammedia. Lewis makes a compelling
argument for the Mouseketeer turned tabloid
disaster as a feminist icon. "Britney is female
appetite. Britney wants. She wants food and
sex and love and trashy, sexy no-account boys:•
Lewis says the essay, which discusses body
image, desire and prescribed roles for women,
often brings her audiences to tears.
CLUBOLIVIAIXTAPA,
MEXICORESORT
January 23-30, 2010
AMAZON
RIVERBOATCRUISE
February 20-28, 2010
8. She'sreadyto age gracefully.As Lewis
approaches 40, she says you couldn't pay
her to live through her 20s again. "Women in
their 40s and above are incredibly attractive
to me;' she admits. "They're interesting and
4. She'steaching20,000peoplehow to have smart and not overly concerned with what
hottersex. Lewis writes the popular Ask people think about them. They have a wealth
Sarah advice column on www. of life experience. If you go out to dinner and
XToysUSA.com. "People send
talk, you know they'll be interesting:•
in their sex questions and I get
to write a sassy column;' she 9. She'sreal, relatableand sensitive.Lewis
says.Besides offering intelligent, admits that the work of a memoirist can
open-minded advice to people
sometimes get scary. "You open yourself up
of every orientation, Ask Sarah
to judgment, and I wish I could sit here and
is often hysterically funny and
be totally cool about it and be like, 'I don't
even a little flirtatious-watch
care what people think about me ...if they
out, Dan Savage.
don't like me, they can fuck offL.But that
is not me;' she says. "When people are mean
5. She'salso teachingwomen about stuff that I've admitted, it hurts my
aroundthe countryhowto love feelings:'
the waytheylook.A year after
its publication, Lewis is still 10. She'son her way to makinga film about
touring for Sex and Bacon, but
the sex industry-onethat's actuallyrealisrather than a straight-up protic and relevant.Lewis is in the process of
motional tour, it's evolved into
turning Indecent into a screenplay, hoping
to cast "some unknown, surly chubby girl" in
workshops at colleg~s on body
image, feminism and desire. the lead role. "For the screenplay, I'm really
(www.sexandbacon.com)
resisting the idea of showing the actress
nude or being sexual, because that's really a:
6. She has a killervocabulary, exploitative. I want to turn the gaze back on ~
~
which is super-sexy.
Lewis is the clients, which has always been my experi- fr
unmistakably clever but never ence;' she explains. ■
~
I
*
72
I curve
WESTERN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
February 28-March 7, 2010
CLUBOLIVIA
CANCUNRESORT
May 15-22, 2010
AFRICANSAFARI
ADVENTURE
October 15-22, 2010
olivia
Reserve your lesbian
dream vacation.
www.olivia. com/curve
or call 1.800.631.6277
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>81
V
ALASKAGLACIERS
& BAYSCRUISE
September 20-27, 2009
HALLOWEEN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
October 25-November 1, 2009
VALLARTAPALACE
RESORT
November 14-21, 2009
CLUBOLIVIAIXTAPA,
MEXICORESORT
January 23-30, 2010
AMAZON
RIVERBOATCRUISE
February 20-28, 2010
WESTERN
CARIBBEANCRUISE
February 28-March 7, 2010
CLUBOLIVIA
CANCUNRESORT
May 15-22, 2010
AFRICANSAFARI
ADVENTURE
October 15-22, 2010
olivia
Reserve your lesbian
dream vacation.
www. oLivia.comlcurve
or call 1.800.631.6277
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