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Description
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ToC That's Bologna! By Stephanie Schroeder (p34); Berlin Babe by Laurie K. Schenden (p38); TV's New Gay Anchor (p39); Cover: Clementine Ford by Katrina Fox (p40); Amazon's Glitch by Lyndsey D'Arcangelo (p43); Femme-inist by Rachel Beebe (p44); To 10 Lesbo-Owned Companies by Laurie K. Schendon (p48); From Shop Floor to Corner Office by Heather Robinson (p50); Women in Charge by Beth Dreher (p52); Best Job Ever by Lina Swislocki (p54); Making Connections by Danielle Sonnenberg (p55); Cover by Tony Donaldson.
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issue
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8
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Date Issued
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October 2009
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Curve_Vol19_No8_0ctober-2009_0CR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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FRANKLY
SPEAKING
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
OCTOBER 2009
I
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME 19 NUMBER 8
Publisher and Founder Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Diane Anderson-Minshall
Managing Editor Katie Peoples
Assistant Editor Rachel Beebe
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Music Review Editor Margaret Coble
Web Editor Rachel Shatto
Contributing Editors Julia Bloch, Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Gretchen Lee, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
Editorial Assistants Briana Hernandez, Ariel Messman-Rucker,
Frances Yee
PUBLISHING
Senior Advertising Executive Diana L Berry
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
Advertising and Marketing Assistant LaKeisha Hughes
Hey Mac!
I knew Clementine Ford as Molly, the savvy straight-to-gay college chick who
wooed Shane on The L Word. And yet, when I first saw photographer Tony
Donaldson's cover shoot images, I couldn't believe my eyes. It's amazing how
much Ford looks like her famous mother, Cybill Shepherd, who plays her gay
on-screen mother on the hit Showtime series.
Though she's the lesbian daughter of an outspoken (and openly
bi-curious) Hollywood legend, Ford is nothing if not her own woman. How
else could she hold her own with her famous singer, songwriter and producer
girlfriend, Linda Perry, who is always surrounded by beautiful stars like Pink
and Gwen Stefani?
Ford's coming out was mired in controversy over when and where she
"officially"came out, and even her grandmother expressed her worry over how
this would affect her career-even today family can be the most worried for us.
It seems those doom and gloom predictions were for naught. After coming
out, 30-year-old Ford landed the plum role playing straight girl Mackenzie
(Mac) Browning on daytime's hit soap, The Young and the Restless. And as
plenty of soap fans will tell you, Ford does a more than convincingjob as the
torn lover of one Billy Abbott.
For us, it's always a treat to have a Hollywood heavyweight who happens
to be a lesbian grace our cover. But there's more than just Clementine Ford in
this issue. You'll also want to check out our other interviews (including the hot
new gay TV anchor Jane Velez-Mitchell) and our listing of Top 10 Lesbianowned Companies. I'm even investigating a new lesbian company myself: Next
month, I'll be aboard the much-anticipated new lesbian cruise line, Sweet,
setting sail for the Caribbean. Who knows, maybe they'll make next year's list?
Or maybe your company will? Tell us more at letters@curvemag.com.
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Photo Editor Hayley McMillen
Production Manager Ondine Kilker
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
Web Producer Nikki Woelk
Photo Assistants Piper Robbins, Kimberly Schumacher
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin, Jennifer Corday,
Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Beren deMotier, Michele Fisher, Tania
Hammidi, Jodi Helmer, Kathi lsserman, Gillian Kendall, Kate
Lacey, Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Candace Moore, Aefa
Mulholland, Alison Peters, Catherine Plato, Aimsel L. Ponti, Laurie
K. Schenden, Kristin A. Smith, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Robin
Miner-Swartz, Kyra Thomson, Jocelyn Voo, Alison Walkley,
Melany Walters-Beck
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Paul Michael Aguilar, Michelle Bart, Erica Beckman, Phil Cho,
Cheryl Craig, Tony Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Gabriela Hashun,
Janet Mayer, Maggie Parker, Elisa Shebaro, Leslie Van Stelten,
Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams, Misty Winter
1550 Bryant Street, Suite 510
San Francisco, CA 94103
Phone (415) 863-6538 Fax (415) 863-1609
Advertising Sales (415) 863-6538 ext. 15 or (212) 446-6700
Subscription Inquiries (818) 286-3102
Advertising Email advertising@curvemag.com
Editorial Email editor@curvemag.com
Letters to the Editor Email letters@curvemag.com
Volume 19 Issue 8 Curve (ISSN 1087-867)() is published monthly (except for bimonthly
January/Februaly and July/Augusij by Ou1spokenEnterprises,Inc., 1550 Bryant St., Ste. 510,
San Francisco, CA 94103. Subscription price: $49.95/year, $62.95 Canadian (U.S. funds only)
and $71.95 international(U.S. funds only). Returned checks will be assessed a $25 surcharge.
Periodicalspostage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additionalmailing offices (USPS
0010-355). Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any manner. either
wholeor n part, wrthoutwntten permission from the pubisher. Pubicationof the name or
photograph of atT'/persons or organizations appeamg,
advertisi'lg or listi,g in Curve may not
be taken as an incficalionof the sexual orientation of that incfr.lidualor group unless specifically
stated. Curve welcomesletters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE
for response. lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions
cannot be returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope is included. No responsibility
is assumed for loss or damages. The contents do not necessarily represent the opinions of
the editor, unless specifically stated. All magazines sent discreetly. Subscription Inquiries:
Pleasewrite to Curve, 1550 Bryant Street, Su~e 510, San Francisco, CA 94103, email crvcs@
magserv.com or caB800-705-0070 {818-286-3102 outside the U.S.). Canadian Agreement
Number: 40793029. Postmaster.
SendCanaceiaddresschanges to crvcs@rnagserv.com,CulVB,
PO Box 122, Niagara Falls, ON L2E 6S8. SendU.S. addresschanges to crvcs@magserv.com,
Cuve, POBox17138,N. Holywood,CA91615-7138.PmtedintheU.S.
curvemag.com
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Features OCTOBER
2009
Oh Clementine!
34
That's Bologna!
Up close and
personal with
daytime's
newest star
An American lesbian feminist finds comrades
in this Italian city. By Stephanie Schroeder
38
Berlin Babe
Berlin's hot frontwoman Terri Nunn leaves us
breathless. By Laurie K. Schenden
39
TV's New Gay Anchor
The lesbian host of Issues With Jane VelezMitchell opens up about adiction and ambition.
By Katrina Fox
40
Clementine Ford
The L Word hottie on coming out, her new
soap gig and why she goes for strong women.
By Katrina Fox
43
Amazon's Glitch
Why the bookselling giant- and their ranking
technology-matters to LGBT publishing.
By Lyndsey D'Arcangelo
44
Femme-inist
Del LaGrace Volcano and Ulrika Dahl's new
photobook takes a peek at gender identity
and queer femme culture. By Rachel Beebe
48
50
52
54
55
41
curve
PowerfulWomen& Fascinating
Careers
Top 1O Lesbo-Owned Companies
These savvy business owners set the bar for
queer entrepreneurs. By Laurie K. Schenden
From Shop Floor to Corner Office
Vy Le got her start in retail. Now she's
revamping healthcare. By Heather Robinson
Women in Charge
Five lesbian business owners who say
behind every great woman is a franchise.
By Beth Dreher
Best Job Ever
Meredith Giske, the director of New Belgium
Brewey's Vibe Squad, on why she has the
perfect job. By Lina Swislocki
Making Connections
Lesbian networking events give queer
professional women a place to be themselves. By Danielle Sonnenberg
a
BEING AHEAD OF YOUR TIME IS NEVER EASY. That's why one of our core values is to respect
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See progress at progressive.com/glbt
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Departments OCTOBER
2009
27
A..a •• :-.,,.
IN EVERY ISSUE
2
10
12
13
14
18
19
22
24
28
29
15
Frankly Speaking
Letters
Contributors
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
I curve
26
Money: Keeping your accounts in line isn't
the headache you think it is.
27
Health: Kim Kardashian gets us fit without
all the fuss.
30
Dyke Drama
Does having queer-savvy parents matter?
Open Studio
Out in Front
32
Politics
AstroGrrl
Why civil unions just don't cut it.
Lipstick & Dipstick
-
I Tried It
Top Ten Reasons We Love ...
Curvatures
56
-
..
Music: Up-and-coming divas Diane Birch,
Leslie Mendelson and Maia Sharp bring
back that '70s sound. Plus, women's rock
camps are the place to be this fall.
58
Books: New offerings from Sarah
Schulman and Ariel Schrag. And, awardwinner Jennifer L. Jordan talks mysteries.
60
Film: Queer docs celebrate the life of Kathy
Acker, bust trans myths and tell the truth
about homophobia in college sports.
62
Tech: Ten female video-game characters
that really kick ass.
Celebrity Gossip
Wanda has twins, Tila lives and Gaga
digs girls.
6
Relationships: Is your gal on a self-help
bender? How to deal.
Scene
Hot tees, recyled bras and a one-on-one
with International Ms. Leather.
20
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Who is the Most Desirable Queer Woman?
Is Rachel Maddow hotter than Sheryl Swoopes? Would
your vote go to Lindsay Lohan or Daniela Sea? We've got the
hottest queer celebs facing off and it's up to you to
pick our winner.
~
The Animated Romances
That Should Have Been
Wilma and Betty from The Flintstones,
Scooby Doo's Velma and Daphne, Wonder
Woman and She-Ra-find out what would
have happened if we'd been drawing the
storyboards.
~
Makin' a Big Splash
Kelli O'Donnell-wife of Rosie-spills about the celesbian
couple's gayby-friendly cruise line, R Family Cruises, and why
travelers with wide-eyed tots in tow won't be at risk of stumbling upon people hookin' up in the deck chairs.
1O Things Femmes
Wish You Knew
Think you learned everything you need to know
about femmes from The L
Word? Think again. Funny
ladies and proud femmes
Suzanne Westenhoefer
and Vickie Shaw school
you on the subject.
s Icurve
t) Videos to Get Your Heart Racing
Kim Kardashian's Fit in Your Jeans By Friday
is the latest workout video to get you hot and
sweaty (page 27) but variety is the key to sticking to your fitness routine. Fortunately, there
are plenty of options out there for those of us
who are not gym-inclined.
~ Minding Your Business
There are just too many lesbian businesses
and business owners to fit in this issue-and
that's a good thing! We share our list of favorite
ladies at the top and the best girl bars to grab
a drink after you clock out.
Take
a break
where
anything
goes.
VisitLasVegas.com/gaytravel
LETTERS
age it is foolish to think lesbians
women I share my magazine
must be "visually" different. As for
with. I want to know what all
Donohoe, her lack of luck with the
women think about, regardsponsors appears to be due to disless whom they sleep ·with. You
crimination against nontraditional
can't have diversity if you only
ideas of femininity. Is this
have one group's point of
unfair? Of course, and I don't
view. I think what curve
doubt that, as an out athlete,
is doing is great. I've read
she encounters homophobia.
other magazines. They are
It would be a mistake, howevboring me to tears because
What's your fave
er, to assume that into"lerance
they don't get ...points of
lesbian hairstyle?
of lesbians and intolerance of
view from all communiunconventional-looking womties. It's all about just gay
38% Comeon,that's
en are the same issue.
just a stereotype
men or just gay women.
Poll
- DebJohnson, Tucson,Ariz.
From One Reader
to Another
Love Girl in a Coma!
I just wanted to thank you for featuring Girl
in a Coma in your July/ August issue [Vol.19
#6] ! GIAC is my favorite band and I was so
glad to see them getting some recognition from
the lesbian community. They are very gracious to their fans and their shows are a blast!
I hope that I'll see them in curve again soon.
- RachelRivera, Dallas
27% Longandflowing
17% Thefauxhawk
9% Thenew,sleek,
Dear Ms Jenna Reulbach of
hipstermullet
Arvada, Colo. [Letters Vol.
6% Thebuzzcut
19 #6]: No offense, but you
are full of crap. I want to read
3% TheOriginal,
about all women who have ima.k.a.the mullet
pacted the lesbian community.
According
to a curvemag.com
poll
I loved Pam Grier [Vol. 19
#4], and I was very happy to
read about her. So were all the black lesbian
Where's the tranny point of
view? Poo-poo on our onesided thoughts and minds.
- Tina S. Dwight
Corrections: In
Open
Studio Vol. 19 #6, the
correct website for Trish
Tunney is trishtunney.com.
She lives in the Mission
District, not Potrero Hill,
in San Francisco.
Is Donohoe Confused?
Your June '09 issue [Vol. 19 #5] is excellent,
but the "Too Foxy for Roxy?" cover story left
me a bit puzzled. You proclaim that"[ Amee
Donohoe] can't get a sponsor because she's
gay;' but reading the article, I didn't get the
feeling that her sexual orientation was the
sponsor's problem at all. Donohoe describes
being dropped because she shaved her head,
and ignored because she's" 'visually' identifiable as queer:' First of all, I really have to object
to the quoted words, because in this day and
Could Martina Be
Bad For Gay Rights?
As we're sure you've heard, tennis great
Martina Navratilova, long a figure in the gay
rights movement, is fighting a messy divorce battle with Toni Layton, who
says she's entitled the one half of the tennis star's fortune. Navratilova's
lawyer has argued that their relationship does not qualify as marriage by
heterosexual terms-calling her relationship with Layton "sub-par" when
compared to "true, traditional marriage" -and therefore Layton shouldn't
get jack. Below are a few anonymous comments from curvemag.com readers on the story, which originally ran on queerty.com. Log on to say what
you think today.
"Layton is a narcissistic
liar. She got caught
stealing, lying and cooking
books. She caused more
financial debt than Madoff
did- will she split the debt
as well as the "fortune," or
just fraudulently steal more
from Martina, leave her trail of
financial wreckage behind and
move on to her next victim?"
10
I curve
"Martina has a pattern of lovin' and
leavin' women in the dust. Her high profile
splits and her greedy public boo-hooing that
her exes are trying to clean her out seem
pretty shady, considering there is, indeed, a
pattern. Anyone who has seen the videos of
Martina and Judy Nelson can tell Martina is
a huge manipulator. After the fact, yes, she is
indeed the LGBT community's enemy No. 1.
Making our relationships sub-par is reprehensible for any reason. How dare she?"
Our online article "Gender Turbulence" [June 2009], which covers the new
Transportation Security Administration identification regulations and how
they affect transgender passengers (which was pubished the same week
we ran a story about Chaz Bono coming out as transgender) caused quite
an uproar. Go to curvemag.com to see the full discussion.
"Trans issues are lesbian issues. As
lesbians, we should begin to include
them as part of our community,
especially since we understand
how difficult it is to be considered
'other.' Until all people have equal
rights to express their gender and
sexuality, lesbians won't either. Trans
issues are lesbian issues!"
"To those of you who are not
transgender, the issue of gender
identity, obviously, isn't important.
To those of us who are (and consider
ourselves lesbians}, gender is an
extremely high priority. It is our life!
-And, yes, I enjoy reading curve. I
enjoy all things lesbian ...because,
like I said, I am lesbian! I put my
name and money into causes that
affect gays and lesbians because we
are all fighting for the same thing,
remember? What ever happened to
the quest for true equality?"
"Why are there so many trans articles
on this website? It is no longer
a lesbian magazine but a trans
magazine. Can we please see more
lesbian-related stuff and can the trans
issues for at least a week?"
"Curve is a lesbian magazine. Why
should we as women accept a man
into our spaces? We don't have many
women-only spaces and have to deal
with men every day. Curve is a place
for lesbians. This magazine is for us,
and some lesbians are offended and
afraid to speak their real feelings that
we have to accept trans men on our
pages. I have my opinion and I do not
like being bullied into accepting trans
men into lesbian space."
"What the hell? This is ridiculous!
We are all part of the gay community-are we seriously going to fight
amongst ourselves over petty little
things like this? There are people
who think we are all going to burn
in hell and we don't deserve the
same rights as our heterosexual
counterparts. Everything around
us is geared toward the straight
community."
"Curve is a magazine that we open
and finally feel like we are home
in. How about instead of fighting
amongst ourselves we fight those
out there who are trying to tell
us that we don't belong, that our
lifestyles are disgusting and that we
can pay our taxes but we don't deserve the same rights as everyone
else. They are full of ignorance and
hate, but if we keep fighting over
stupid shit, they are going to win."
"The first thing that occurs to me is
that some lesbians are in relationships with transgendered people
and that there are current lesbians
who identify strongly with males or
possibly want to become trans men
themselves. And how about this:
Being a lesbian doesn't mean that
you are interested solely in dictionarydefinition lesbianism and nothing
else; you may like to read about a
new video game or band, or want to
take in some greater issues of queer
culture that aren't 100 percent, 24ll
lesbian. I know I do! The readership of curve is not just you, nor
does every single word and article
in it have to have carry the stamp of
'lesbian.' Ridiculous."
"Such nonsense ...Trans issues have
nothing to do with lesbian issues.
Relating the two is simply a marriage
of convenience for political
effort to broaden the magazine's audience. Women, lesbian or straight,
are typically accepting of just about
anything. So, curve risks very little
backlash by injecting
non-lesbian content
"Trans issues have nothing to
into the periodical.
If I had my druthers,
do with lesbian issues. Relating
I'd vote for curve to
the two is simply a marriage of
stick to its roots by
remaining centered
convenience for political purposes." on lesbian content.
But, as most sensible
people realize, I don't have a votepurposes. Curve has a rich history
and neither do you."
as a lesbian-centered periodical.
Injecting trans issues into the mix
may be motivated by a desire on
"Again, we talk about trans issues,
when we should be talking lesbian
the part of the curve's publisher to
increase subscriber appeal in an
issues. Gross misconduct, curve."
October 2009
I 11
CONTRIBUTORS
From the Editor
For such a small staff, the
Curvettes have had some big
travels this season. From family
visits to Scotland, Ireland and
Vermont, to a honeymoon in Tahiti
(yes, one of us got hitchedguess who?), we've been all
over the map while trying to get
this issue done. While I stayed
stateside, I did spend a weekend
on a press trip in Palm Beach,
Fla., editing the cover story on my
laptop while seated 20 feet from
crystal clear ocean currents that
had wafted 45 miles north from
the Bahamas retaining the same
aquamarine shade.
Then, it was back to reality, as
we all hunkered down not just to
finish this issue but to also plan
our 20th anniversary (2010 is
sooner than we'd like to admit)
and our giant annual holiday gift
guide, which will be out in just
two months!
Of course, the trips aren't over
yet. Production manger Ondine
Kilker is doing an Easy Rider-type
adventure: traveling solo, crosscountry (and Canada) on her
new motorcycle, while managing
editor Katie Peoples is packing
for the biggest trip of all: She's
moving to the Ukraine-for a two
year stint in the Peace Corps.
Of course her goodbye is
still one month away so there's
plenty of time to teach her how
to pronounce /esbiys'kyy (i.e.
lesbian) in Ukrainian before she
goes. Stay tuned!
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Editor in Chief
121curve
"I never thought I'd be wntmg about balls for a
lesbian magazine;' laughs former editorial assistant
YanaTallon-Hicks
who was researching Luna Beads,
the Kegel exercisers, as of press time. "But then again,
I guess this is where a background in writing and selling sex toys gets you:' Though known for her sarcasm,
Tallon-Hicks is genuine about promoting communication between queer communities, whether it be
through working at sex-positive Good Vibrations or
offering curve readers lots of fierce writing and some
pun-filled headlines."! think it's important to recognize
the struggles of being a queer woman, but sometimes you've got to laugh it off," she says.
Tallon-Hicks is excited to continue her love of lesbian-centric writing for curve, which,
she half-jokes, "has turned my latent dream of becoming the dyke Carrie Bradshaw into a
healthy obsession!" Now traveling through South America, she hopes to find inspiration
for a sex-column-Sexo y la Ciudad,anyone?
'Tm still blown away by the fact that I'm working for a magazine that I've been reading since I was a kid;' says editorial
assistant ArielMessman-Rucker.
"When I told my mom they
hired me, she actually squealed:' Messman-Rucker was born
and raised in the Bay Area, a lucky thing for a girl raised by her
father, her stepmother and her lesbian mother with a disability.
"Growing up, I never thought my family was that different
from anyone else's;' she says. It wasn't until Messman-Rucker
was older that she learned how cruel dosed-minded people
can be. But a tough skin and a healthy dose of sarcasm and
snarky comebacks have served her well over the years. When
she isn't writing, interviewing or researching for curve, she can be found playing with
her dogs, reading a good book or watching a ridiculous number of movies. Her favorites?
Psycho,DoubleIndemnityand TheMalteseFalcon."Getting a chance to write for a publication that I both love and respect has been a tremendous opportunity that I hope will help
me become that Pulitzer Prize-winningjournalist I've always imagined in my head:'
"I love to create images based on memory;' says Dyke
Drama illustrator Katherine
Streeter.
"This month's column
is about the author's childhood, which always helps to
create a dreamy visual landscape. This is perfect for the
style of collage paintings I make, which are almost always
inspired by or use vintage photos:' Streeter collects lots of
bits from her own memory when she work as well, since
she has a few book projects in the works and is always
creating personal work to be shown in galleries and alternative spaces inside and outside New York City, where she
currently resides.
SCENE
1 Beautiful people at SF Pride's VIP bash at The Fairmont Hotel
2 Helen Zia (right) and her wife, Lia Shigemura, co-chairs of
A&PIWC's Families Campaign, at the Clift Hotel. Zia was SF
Pride's community grand marshal! 3 Curve advertising assistant LaKeisha Hughes (center) with friends at Trigger in SF
4 Lesbo cartoonist Paige Braddock at WonderCon 5 Trigger's
Women in the Castro night 6 Bang Bang Betty's Big Beautiful
Bombshells at North Bank in Vancouver, Wash. 7 Lambda Lit
chicks (from left): authors ]Lee Meyer and Katherine Forrest
with librarian Karen Sundheim 8 Girls do the Tease Party in SF
9 Frameline Film Festival'sclosing night party brought out actors
Sharon Gless & Rosie O'Donnell, and Wolfe Video president
Maria Lynn (center) 10 Curve'sCute Girl Party at Lime in SF
11 The Sarah Bush Dance Project girls get down at Trigger
October 2009 j 13
cu[~atures____
,___ -
Bra Recycling a Firm Success
"The lase thing a woman leaving an abusive situation
worries about is taking a bra;' says Elaine Birks,
Mitchell. "But when she is in transitional housing,
interviewing for jobs, it becomes important:'
Birks, Mitchell is a co,founder of Bosom Buddy
Bra Recycling, a thriving textile recycling business
with plenty of lesbian fans. She and her husband,
Johnny Mitchell Jr., receive bras from various sources:
women donate their unworn and used bras and
department stores send them their
unsalable goods. Also, anyone can
mail in their clean bras via instruc,
tions on the company's website,
brarecycling.org.
Bosom • Buddy exports unus,
able bras for disassembling-the
wire and other materials are used as
resources in developing countries. "It's is a win,win
for everyone;' says Birks,Mitchell. "Recycling elimi,
nates overflow of textiles in landfills, and we give back
at least 10 percent of what we collect;' she says. The
Mitchells are also in the process of creating a non,
profit foundation.
"The response we've received just since our
founding in October 2008 has
been incredible;' enthuses Birks, Mitchell. Both
Elaine and Johnny still hold day jobs. Elaine has
always run an independent business or done com,
munity work. Bue, their dream is to run Bosom
Buddy and administer their nonprofit organization
full,time.
The Mitchells have partnered with local groups
around Phoenix, where they are based, so that
women in homeless shelters, transitional housing and
tr~atment facilities receive bras from
Bosom Buddy. The company also
works with several specific worn,
en's and girl's organizations. One
is Florence Crittenton of Arizona,
which helps co empower girls and
young women in need in the state.
Birks, Mitchell sees the program
spreading across the country, reaching women's shel,
ters nationwide and tapping into bra and lingerie
manufacturers for donations. There is already a simi,
lar program in the United Kingdom.
One issue remains, the desperate need for larger
size bras-sizes 36 and up are in demand. Buxom
babes, it's time to weed your lingerie drawer and
donate to an ample cause. [Stephanie
Schroeder]
International Ms. Leather 2009 titleholder Lamalani is a ropemaker and sex educator from the Pacific Northwest. Being an international titleholder keeps her busy
traveling and raising money for causes such as Home Alive, an anti-violence organization in Seattle that provides low-cost self-defense classes.
HERGAYDAYJOBS:I make hemp bondage rope with Twisted Monk. I am also a
contract marine mammal biologist and study the acoustics and behavior of
whales and dolphins. I figured I was not gay enough and decided to pursue
graduate school studying dolphins.
BIGGEST
MISCONCEPTIONS
ABOUTHER:Many people believe that BDSM is just
about pain, and find it hard to understand the allure. The truth is that people
can practice BDSM and be kinky without ever receiving pain. The thought of
tying up a lover with a silk scarf, blindfolding her or dripping hot wax from a
massage candle is enticing to lots of folks who don't identify as kinky.
WHYBONDAGE:
We practice BDSM because of the energy exchange between
partners, and the energy exchange can look like anything. Love, trust and
respect are necessary to give that kind of power to someone else.
SEDUCED
BY
SIRENNATION
It's thattimeof the year
again-pick up andhead
to Portland,
Ore.,for Siren
Nation'sannualfestival,
fromNov.5 to 8.
Founded
in 2005,Siren
Nationis a women'scollectivededicated
to the
empowerment
of female
artistsin music,film,
performance
andvisual
art.Founder,
producerand
executivedirectorNatalia
Kaystatesthattheirmission
is to "inspireandempower
womenof all agesto create
theirownart andto highlight
the manyachievements
of
womenin the arts."
Thisyear'sperformances
includeup-and-coming
musiciansGreyAnneand
StarAnna.Thefestivalwill
alsoofferart shows,an art
andcraftssaleandworkshopsat noadditionalcost.
SirenpresenterStacy
Bias(a Curve contributor)
says,"SirenNationisn't
just a festival,it's a partof
a movement-creatinga
centralspaceanda specific
focusonfemaleindependent
artists.[Thefestival]is radicallydiverse,burstingwith
talentandfull-to-overflowing
with a smart,feistyandfun
audienceof womenand
allies."Ladies,we'll seeyou
there!(sirennation.org)
[Frances
Yee]
TIEHERUP,TIEHERDOWN:
I'm a tactile person. Rope feels great running
through my hands onto someone's body. Bondage can be gentle and
relaxing or it can be mean as hell. And it's sexy-rope is beautiful on a
woman. [LoriSelke]
October 2009
I 15
the rundown
Thinking of going away with your special
girl to catch some sun this winter? Wayne
Besenof TruthWinsOutwants you to
reconsider Jamaica and has launched
Boycott,Jamaica.org, stating, "Our goal is
to turn Jamaica into a pariah state, as long
as LGBT people live in a state of terror:'
Jamaican LGBT organizers and Jamaica
ForumforLesbians,
AII-Sexuals
andGays
(J-FLAG)
are speaking out against the
proposed boycott, saying, "Because of
the possible repercus,
sions of increased
homophobic violence
against our already
besieged community,
we feel that a tourist
boycott is not the most
appropriate response
at this time:' ... Queer
legend and lead singer of Gossip
BethDitto
is feuding with KatyPerryof"I Kissed a
Girl" fame. Ditto was quoted in an inter,
view as saying Perry was a "boner dyke"
who is simply using gay culture, and is
offensive ... Cocktail,
a bar in Chicago's
"Boystown;' has ruled that bachelorette
parties are oppressive and has banned
them from the establishment. Bar owner
Geno Zaharakis stated that the drunken
women with beads and plastic phallic
accessories need to think about how
their presence is offensive to lesbians and
gays who cannot marry ... Lesbian icon
MelissaEtheridge
has come out
in support of medical marijuana.
In an interview with Anderson
Cooper
she candidly discussed
her own cancer treatments, the
side effects of chemotherapy and
the relief she got from marijuana ... A
new study shows that contrary to popular
belie£ gays and lesbians are just as reli,
gious as their heterosexual counterparts.
The research, conducted from 2007 to
2008, showed that six out of 10 gays and
lesbians reported that faith was important
in their lives... Soon, lesbian bookworms
will have something tasty and new
to devour: PortiadeRossiis writing a
memoir. The book, whose release date
has not been announced, will include an
account of her experiences with anorexia.
[Sassafras
Lowrey]
TURNING35
Sarah Aldridge's The
Latecomer, the famed first
book from Naiad Press and
the first lesbo novel to offer a
happy ending, is out in a 35th
anniversary edition. The new
book has comments from over
In someparts,October
offersthelast
20 lesbian icons, including
chanceat summer's
mclovin,
soskip
Ann Bannon, Jinx Beers, Kate
thebeat-upGeorge
Foreman
andoffer
Clinton, Lee Lynch, Radclyffe,
yourladysome...waitfor it...hotgrillon-grillaction.($19,snorgtees.com) JM Redman, Holly Near and
curve's own editor in chief.
(latecomerlegacyproject.com}
The Gaydar
Here's a taste of lesbians in pop culture this month.
Who missed the mark and who was right on target?
Monkeys
lysubversion
of
ildren'stoy.Pun
yourface
NancyDrewchic7heOfficial
NancyDrewHandbooktells
how
totapouta MorseCodemessage
withyourhighheels.7heWisdom
ofNancyDrewpromises
to solve
alloflife'slittlemysteries
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You Want What?
Nationally syndicated political cartoonist Jen Sorensen's latest collection of strips,
Slowpoke:One Nation, Oh My God! follows recent American political history, in
fabulously snarky detail, from 2004's misguided reelection of Bush II to the media
hoopla leading up to the 2008 elections. Sorensen proves herself strip by strip, as
she adeptly taps into America's neuroses and cultural and political absurdities, but
one of our favorite parts of her book is a bonus page of what visitors to her website
were actually looking for. "My website hit counter allows me to see what search
terms have led visitors to my site;' writes Sorensen. "Over the years I've compiled a list of the more unusual
phrases that people have Googled, or asked Jeeves, as the case may be, bringing them to slowpokecomics.com:'
Our faves:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
gaypenispuffers
successfulmustacheself-trimming
beltbuckleof fat peoplecartoon
wankingsoundbite
funnycupcakes
cartoonimagesof genitalwarts
wartcreamscam
boobsuckingdevice
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
(1¥iMI
cartoon images of genital warts
sexwith waterwing
kosherfunnelcakes
the letteringto TwinkleTwinkleLittleStarbackwards
fartingnewsman
puppetsex
asson art
bunin the ovencartoons
howmanypubichairsdoesjanicehave?
I
"Please note that these hits resulted from combinations of unrelated words on my blog;' adds Sorensen. "I
assure you I have never written about penis puffers of any kind:'
Operatic Feminism
and Elaine Kaplinsky are the talented women
download, this dramatic album is a celebration of female strength and creativity. If
that make up Hildegurls, named for the origi-
you're looking to broaden your horizons and
nal composer of the 12th century German
opera Ordo Virtutum, Hildegard of Bingen.
check out something new, it's a must-have.
Eva Beglarian, Lisa Bielawa, Kitty Brazelton
The quartet re-imagines this dramatic morality play for a contemporary audience using
electric keyboards, samplers and electric
guitars, reworking the ancient music while
still remaining true to the original material.
In her own time, Bingen was an abbess,
philosopher and composer, among other
things. The Ordo Virtutum is her most wellknown composition and appears to be the
oldest surviving Western opera. The story follows a struggle for the human soul between
(innovarecordings.com) [ArielMessman-Rucker]
PHONES
GETNAUGHTY
It's fun andit's free:the
officialSuicideGirls
FlipStrip
iPhoneappturnsthe classic
nudiepenconcepton its
headwiththis hightech
twist.Flipthe phoneone
wayto choosefrom
10 supersexySuicideGirls,
thenflip youriPhoneor
iTouchupsidedownandyou
canwatchherclothesdisappear!Thoughnotall the
SuicideGirls
featured-Lumi,
Sash,Zoli,Rigel,Coley,
Radeo,Inga,Dot,Antigone
andMaxi-are gay,we're
surethere'sa kindredspirt
somewhere
amongstthe
piercedandtatted-upclan.
It's a lot morefun than
iPhone'snewHottestGirls
app,whichonlyoffers
"topless,sexybabes."
the 17 personifications of virtue and the devil.
Filled with Latin chanting, harmonizing and
religious themes, the Electric Ordo Virtutum
differs greatly from what we think of as opera
today. Though the women do sing in beautiful
operatic soprano voices, they also use colorful lighting, intricate costuming and smoke
machines, which give their performances a
rock concert vibe.
While it may not be your typical iTunes
October 2009
I 17
OPENSTUDIO
Clockwise from left:
"Cholcolate," "Saturday,"
"Undress," and "Telephone"
brooches, and "Eye" ring
Livin in the Moment
Melanie Bilenker's art imitates life. By Fernanda Silva
For years, Melanie Bilenker had been collecting photos
depicting people doing ordinary things. She became interested in looking at people's lives through the camera lens,
in the moment of the snapshot. Now, Bilenker marries
her curiosity about the mundane with her love of antique
jewelry in her unique creations-jewelry
illustrated using
single strands of her own hair set into epoxy resin.
"The Victorians kept lockets of hair and miniature portraits painted with ground hair and pigment to secure the
memory of a lost love. In much the same way, I secure my
memories through photographic images rendered in lines
of my own hair, the physical remnants. I do not reproduce
events, but quiet minutes, the mundane, the domestic,
the ordinary moments;• she says of her work.
At 31 years old, this native New Yorker has lived in
Philadelphia for 13 years. Her work has garnered several
awards and fellowships and is in the permanent collections of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York,
the Philadelphia Museum of Art and Boston's Museum
of Fine Arts.
Though her pieces have made a splash in the art world,
she originally thought of her work as part of the craft
movement. She began making her jewelry to sell to
people looking for one-of-a-kind handmade pieces. ow,
1s
I curve
she says her work has begun to appeal to young people
with an interest in design.
Bilenker relies on her own photographs for inspiration
these days, using a tripod to capture the quick seconds of
her everyday life. "I will be in the middle of boiling water
with the camera on a tripod, just in case;• she says.
Taken as a whole, Bilenker sees her photographs as a
valuable record of how she's lived her life.
"I have a really terrible memory, so I think in some sense
it's about trying to remember those moments-they
are
what make up our lives and they are also universal;' she
explains. (melaniebilenker.com)
■
OUTINFRONT
Political
I Corr8ctWomen
These women are taking their causes to the streets-and
ParentalRightsin the Sunshine
State
She's handled the 3:00 a.m. feedings and
then gone to work a few hours later, pulled
her son from the imaginary lava pit in their
den, held his hand as he touched the bottom
of the deep end of the pool and cried as
she put him on the bus for his first day of
kindergarten.
CathyJamesis the nonbiological mother
of a 9-year-old whom she co-parents
with his mother Judy, her life partner
of 14 years. Bur because of the ban on
a_doption by gay Floridians (Florida
is the only state in the United States
that specifically forbids gay adoption),
James' son has only one legal parent.
"I have no legal standing in my
child's life;' says James. "Yer, if my
partner of 14 years, his biological
mom, died tomorrow, everyone that
is heterosexual would be eligible to
adopt him and I would nor:'
Faced with such an untenable state
of affairs, James has set out to change
the system. In 2006, she founded, and
is currently on the board of, Securing
Our Children's Rights, Inc., a nonprofit political lobbying organization
working to secure, protect and preserve the rights of children of LGBT
parents.
"This is a family values issue if ever there was
one;' says James. "My son was not rh_eresult
of a one-night stand, a 55-hour marriage ala
Britney Spears [or] poorly-learned sex education. He was dreamed about for years and is
the result of the love of two women who were
nurtured in wonderful Christian families.
[His] parents married for life:'
Changing
Misperceptions
Ir's the disconnect felt by many gay peoplethe dramatic difference between their own
positive self-image, and how the world often
views them. DebMellsays that's what initially
brought her to activism. "I knew something
was wrong and that something had to change
in the way we are viewed;' she says.
to the state legislature. By Sheryl Kay
The daughter of longtime alderman
Richard Mell, she got a real taste of negativity a few years back when she marched
in Chicago in support of gay marriage. Of.
the 300 participants in the peaceful protests, Mell was the only one arrested, and
she believes that may have been due to her
political ties.
She went on to become active in Equality
come out of the closet-especially when it is
difficult-we are being activists;' she says.
Pridein the WindyCity
To know lesbian life in Chicago is to know
VernitaGray.
She helped found Chicago's first lesbian
newspaper, Lavender Woman, helped organize rhe city's very first Pride Parade, and set
up one of Chicago's first gay information hotlines-which
she operated
out of her apartment.
"My phone was always ringing,
and there was always someone in my
little apartment because my place
was also a crash pad for my peers
who had no place to go;' says Gray.
"Today we call them homeless:'
Since
1993, Gray's talents
have been put to good use at the
Cook County State's Attorney's
office, where she was the LGBT
victim-witness coordinator, working with victims of hare crimes,
domestic violence and the families of homicide victims. After six
years she was promoted to LGBT
liaison, responsible
for reaching our to high school students
about hate crimes and issues of
Illinois, rece1vmg an award for Activist of violence in the community. For that work
the Year from the Chicago chapter of the she was given a Stonewall award.
She also worked beside Barack Obama
National Organization for Women, as well
when he was an Illinois senator as a memas the Howard Brown Cornerstone Award
ber of his LGBT advisory council. Their
for Community Excellence.
acquaintance brought her to the Democratic
Today, Mell is a member of the Illinois
House of Representatives. Her district is an convention in Denver, and to his inauguraaging, working-class community. With esca- tion in Washington, D.C.
In addition to her ongoing projects in the
lating foreclosures, unemployment and some .
State's Attorney's office, Gray also devotes
recent gang activity in her constituency,
time to LGBT senior citizen's issues, and in
Mell keeps busy working with local police
particular, access to m~rsing homes where the
and other community leaders to address
gay community feels comfortable.
these issues.
"We will not be going back into closets as
She acknowledges that political protest
we age, particularly my generation ofboomers;'
isn't everyone's cup to tea, but believes that
observes Gray. "We are going to the old folks'
even the smallest action can be powerful.
home with our rainbow flags, so they better
"The sign-holding, chanting activist probably isn't for everyone, but I believe when we get ready:' ■
October 2009
I 19
LESBOFILE
Autumn'sAdrenalineRush
Twitter debacles, RollingStone insightsand what one woman will do to save an ox. By Jocelyn Voo
FirstThing'sFirst
Who'sStr8
Our belated congratulations to CynthiaNixon
and Christine Marinoni, who announced
their engagement in May at an LGBT rally in
New York City, and to WandaSykesand her
wife, Alex, who welcomed twins, daughter
Olivia Lou and son Lucas Claude, in April.
Looks like all the celebs are setting the record straight (har har
har) these days:
Pink is not bisexual, as the singer felt
prompted to clarify on Twitter. "i just read
that im bisexual. so 1991;' she wrote. 'good
thing people write articles about me so i can
get my facts str8. i mean straight. read on
people:'
Who is bisexual? Hypersexual and perennially pants-less pop queen Lady Gaga,
who told Rolling Stone that her attraction
to women is completely physical. This, as
co~ld be expected, makes her boyfriends
"uncomfortable:'
And who might be bisexual? None other
than Francine Prejean, the mother of former
Miss California USA Carrie Prejean( the
ousted beauty queen has been outspoken
about the sins of gay marriage). According
to Star, Francine's alleged girlfriend, Valerie
Vetrano, confirmed that the two had dated.
However, a source explained that their relationship went belly-up because Francine "was
a Christian and that her loved ones would
never accept her if she were gaY:'
Ah, nothing like a good she-said-she-said!
Cyberstalking
Sucks
We don't like to joke about death, even when
it involves the maybe-she-is-maybe-she-isn't
bisexual Tila Tequila.But, apparently, someone out there does. In a crime that could only
happen in the Internet age, a stalker broke
into the celebrity's house, then posted a
message on Tequila's official Twitter account
claiming to have murdered both Tequila and
her dog. "I just broke into her house, killed
her and her dog. Logged onto Twitter to tell
you guys. She was signed on already. Tila
Tequila is dead."
Once Tequila returned home, two
hours later, she found her home trashed,
but thankfully her dog was still alive
(albeit in the trunk of her car). Tequila was
not harmed.
Bizarre? For sure. Never thought we'd say
this, but, Tila, we're glad you're OK.
20
I curve
Who is bisexual?
Hypersexualand
perennially
pants-less
pop queenLadyGaga..
WhatWomenDoin Lust
Months ago, Transformers hottie and
Angelina-look-alike MeganFoxtold GQ that
fellow actor OliviaWildewas so sexy that it
made Fox want to "strangle a mountain ox
with [her] bare hands:' Well, now we know
how Wilde responded when she heard the
news.
"I came into my trailer at House the
morning after that article came out;' Wilde
told G{b"and one of our writers had done
an illustration on my mirror of a mountain
ox saying, 'Save me, save me. Please, Olivia,
make out with Megan?: Of course, anything
I can do to save the mountain ox, I'm happy
to do:'
If you weren't an animal rights supporter
before, we bet you are now. ■
She Said
DAMR. N
VACATIONS
z:
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VISIT:
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DAMRONVACATIONS
.COM
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CALL:
1.888.850.6585
ASTROGRRL
Come Out and Play
Venus in luscious Libra makes us juicy-licious and full of sugar. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
Sex:You ooze charm and charisma. Use it to lubricate
your way into exclusive social groups. Be careful not
to create an oil spill. Career:
Join a new organization
to get your career re-energized. Then you can give
co-workers the business.
goodness goes bad. Until then, pour it on. Career:
Your mind may not be on the job now. Slide by if you
can. You will get away with almost anything except
napping under your desk.
Taurus(April21-May 21)
Sex:Sapphic Bulls look great and attract the ladies.
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Show her a few new exercises so you can tone and
buff together. Is that what they're _calling it now?
as you think. Why pretend and play games? See if this Career:Rather than do the job halfway, find any
can become the crush that leads to a grind. Career: excuse to work from home. When in doubt, arrange
You know just what to do to get the senior staff to
a business trip-to Paris.
sit up and take notice. Doing a great job is one way.
Wearing a cellophane suit is another.
Gemini(May22-June21)
Sex:Flirt your way to a successful ·match. Not only
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
will you gain access to the top parties in town, you will
Sex:Will a gal pal turn into a lovergrrl? Set some be the one they want to meet and greet. See how long
boundaries with her and then negotiate to redraw you can make it last. Career:
Powerful presentations
them. Career:Business travel is highlighted. Let's see get you noticed on the job. Very loud opinions also get
how much international mischief you can whip up you noticed-but
not to the same good effect.
before your boss pulls your expense account.
Sex:Your clandestine love affair is not as big a secret
Cancer(June22-July 23)
ALLEYESAREON
Youcanalwaysspota lambda
Libraby peekingintothe
centerof an adoringcrowd.
She'sthe onewiththe great
smileandthe beautifullaugh
thatseemsto holdeveryone's
attention.Thisgal makes
an excellentfirst impressionbecauseeverythingshe
wearsseemsto lookgood
on her,evena burlapsack.
LesbianLibrastendtowardthe
femmelook,favoringjewelry
andclothingthat accentuate
hercoloringandgrandstyle.
Librasarestunners,insideand
(proudly)out.
Capricorn(Dec.23-Jan.20)
Sex:Find any excuse to get her to go home with
Sex:October is the month to sample a tasting menu
you. You can find the right bird if you shop in the
right market. Avoid turkeys. Career:Focus on your
bottom line and see how much you can profit from
corporate trends. Money talks. In fact, it yells.
of love. How hot and spicy do you like it? Prepare
to singe your tastebuds. Career:
Others rely on your
investment advice, but do you really know what you're
talking about? When in doubt, pretend you can't
breach confidentiality.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Sex:You seem to know just what to say to turn her
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Sex:Spread your love via the Internet. If that doesn't
work, get up off the couch and open your front door.
Career:
Your competition is getting ready to make her
move. Preempt her with a savvy idea and eat her lunch.
Let's hope it's not liverwurst.
on. But you need to know when to stop talking.
Actions speak louder than words. Career:You are
the one· to know. Not only do you command center
stage, you draw people into your circle. Is it hot in
here-or is it just you?
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Sex:Find a well-endowed benefactress
Sex:Grrr. You are a love machine this month. Rev
your engines and see who hops on for a ride. Let's hope
for lots of bumps and curves! Career:
You have plenty
of get-up-and-go. Will you allow yourself to be tied
down at work? Find ways to move things from your
inbox to your outbox quickly. Then get out of there.
to help you
fluff your pillows. Yes, you can be spoiled. In fact,
you pray for it. Career:
Dig beneath the surface to see
what's really happening at work. Once you solve
the mystery, use the information to become a
benevolent dictator. ■
AstrologerCharleneLichtensteinis theauthor
Aries(March21-April20)
22
Icurve
of Herscopes: A Guide to Astrology for
Sex:Ramp up your charm and use it to cement
Lesbians. Get moreat thestarryeye.com
orgo
certain
t~ her blogat thestarryeye.typepad.com.
relationships.
Hurry,
before your milky
Relationships ADVICE
Windsof Chari e
Will you be ready when she gets caught up in the whirlwind? By Kate Lacey
Aside from the kind under your couch cushions, change can be daunting. But it's pretty
much guaranteed that either you or your
partner will go through some kind of change
over the course of your relationship. The
transformation could be the "change of life;'
thrusting you two down the rocky road of
hormonal discord, or maybe your girl will follow in the footsteps of Britney and Lindsay,
co lurch over the sobering threshold of rehab.
No matter what changes your lover is facing, if you can't adjust, you may find yourself
higher than Courtney Love and drier than a
postmenopausal matron.
GREEN-EYED
MISTRESS
Often, when we see our partners improving
their lives, say, by losing weight or finding
spirituality, jealousy tightens its vice-like grip.
We know we should cheer our loved ones on
as they become healthier, happier and more
centered, but envy can be an ugly bedfellow.
We fall prey to the faulty reasoning that says,
"The more she improves her life, the less great
my life is:' But life is not a competition, unless
it's $1 beer and wet T-shirt night at the lesbian pub ( then, you're on). Otherwise, break
the yardstick you're holding up to your girl.
INSECURITY
ISTHEENEMY
When a partner has a close encounter of
the stylish kind-gets a hot new hairdo or a
sexy new wardrobe, works out or gets better
curves-a whole new world often opens up
for her. Whereas at one time you didn't have
to worry about your goddess finding greener
pastures, now you fear your hot mama will
run off with the milkmaid faster than you can
say "Damn, girl!" Remember, while the packaging has changed, the girl you loved before is
the same. With these changes come the positive energy that will propel her to do more
than she did before. Instead of tailing her and
hiding in the bushes to see if she's cheating,
thrust yourself bravely into her new world.
WHENTHECHANGE
COMES
DOWN
Do not act passive-aggressively. Don't "accidentally" leave your pack of smokes on the
table when she has kicked the habit. If she's
losing weight, stop with the 10-course dinners and the nasty looks when she nibbles on
her rabbit food. If she's in a 12-step program,
avoid stepping on her toes by interrogating
her about who was in attendance and what
was said. Ridiculing the program or her
progress creates negative energy that will
ultimately destroy the very thing you were
hoping to save.
INHERIT
THEEARTH
Some alterations are involuntary. When most
of us think of getting laid, we're not thinking
about getting laid off. You didn't think the
chemistry that attracted you to her would
have to withstand chemotherapy. But life
happens, and survival can depend on being
patient. Throw the old rules out the window.
For most of us, the times when we most need
to be open and talk frankly are the times when
our communication skills desert us. The first
step is to admit your fear to one another and
realize that these changes, while involuntary,
are happening to you both. You can handle
the tough times if you allow yourselves to
be vulnerable with one another. Ironically, it
is only through this weakness that you can
grow stronger.
LIS FORLEAP
Seeing others change can shatter our complacency and start paving over that rut we
thought was a comfortable life. Little else can
instill that kind of fear in us. It is instinctual
to want to hold on to the status quo rather
than throw caution to the wind. But if your
girl is tying on the bungee cord, you have to
choose whether to bounce with her or stand
on the platform alone.
Change with her. Be motivated by her
instead of competitive with her. When you
can no longer top her-because she's gotten
more buff than Jackie Warner-you
should
join her. Take your own odyssey of selfimprovement. As you get sober and fit, get a
new job, a bigger cup size or a greater sense of
spiritual peace in your life, your partnership
will strengthen as well. Two partners jumping into self-alteration mode at exactly the
same moment is about as likely as a simultaneous orgasm, but it is possible to join in,
catch up and enjoy the ride together. And
then, if things do fall apart, at least you will
emerge with a new identity, which is a great
prize indeed. ■
October 2009
I23
ADVICE Lipstick& Dipstick
Too Dirtyto Get Down
DearLipstickand Dipstick:I've beenwith my
girlfriendfor sevenyears.She'sa wonderful
person,but not very clean.She onlyshowers
andbrushesherteetha few timesa week.Her
excuse:She works full-time and has a long
commute,so she'stoo tired to cleanup. She
oftengoesout to the barswith friends,drinks
beer and gets into bed withoutbrushingher
teeth. It disgustsme. To make up for it, she
sometimes
brushesfor 30 minutes(sheclaims
shehasOCD).I wantto kissherandmakelove
to her everyday but I'm appalledby her bad
hygiene.I feel like I am just settlingfor her
becausethere is no one out therewho would
haveme.I am a totalcleanfreak.I showerand
brushmyteetheveryday.I knowshelovesme
andwoulddoanythingfor me,but do I haveto
settlefor herbadhygienejustto haveall that?
- Sickof theStank
Lipstick: Gross! This just
gives me the willies. Sicko,
you've been enabling this filthy
behavior by living with it for
seven years. Quite frankly, I
don't know how you've done
it. But, the bigger issue here
isn't that you've tolerated her
stinky stank-it's
that you
feel like no one else will have
you. What's up with that?
When she picks up a scrub
brush, you should pick up
the phone and call a therapist. Or check this book out
from the library: Breaking the
Chain of Low Self-Esteem by
Marilyn Sorensen. Until you
get a backbone and believe
you deserve better, I'm afraid
you're stuck with the funk.
Dipstick: Hold up there,
Lipstick. My guess is that
this isn't just about messiness.
Sicko, when your partner
does bathe, does she have a
ritual that she follows? I'm no
doctor, but if she really does
24
Icurve
have OCD she might have "requirements"
about how long she has to attend to each
body part, how many times the sponge passes
over each breast or maybe she has to line up
all the cleaning supplies alphabetically by
first ingredient. A routine like that can be
DearLipstickand Dipstick:My girl and I have
beentogetherfor fiveyears.Forthe lasttwo or
so,I haven'tbeenintoit likeshehas.I justdon't
wantto be with heranymore.
Whatcan I do to
getherto realizethis?I hav~triedin the pastto
tellherandit didn'twork.- OverHer
"AmI just settlingfor her becausethere
is no one out therethat wouldhaveme?"
psychologically exhausting. No wonder she
only wants to wash every few days! If it's not
OCD, it could be depression. Either way talk
to her and encourage her to see her doctor or
a therapist. I'm glad you're treating her with
more compassion than Lipstick is.
Dipstick:If it didn't work in the past, try a
new strategy. Tell her you're leaving, take
the cat, your Crock-Pot and the futonand move out. Unlike many things you do
as a couple, breaking up doesn't have to be a
joint decision.
Lipstick:This question epitomizes why so many lesbian
couples break up over and
over again. It's a toxic cocktail
known as the "Dyketini" -a
dysfunctional blend of indecision (you know what you need
to do but can't pull the trigger), codependency ( that's why
you're trigger-shy) and fear of
loneliness (also why you can't
bring yourself to break away).
Do yourself a favor, Over Her,
and honor what you're really
feeling. Then roll up your sleeves
and prepare yoursel£ because it's
time to do the work. That means
telling her it's over and then
standing by it. Clean cuts heal
far more quickly than slowly
inflicted jagged wounds. ■
Want help with your problem?
Want to be on The Lipstick &
Dipstick Show? Dro a line to
tv@lipstickdipstick.com.
The Sex Wars Contd.
When Lipstick and Dipstick told "Miserable in Maple Grove" [Vol. 19 #4] that looking at lesbian porn could be part of
a healthy sex life, not a dirty secret, it set off a small .debate we like to call The Sex Wars Circa 2009. Here's part of
the debate for you. Go to curvemag.com and tell us what you think, too.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: "Miserable
in Maple Grove" began by saying she
and her partner were not having sex
and were fighting a lot, and that when
she, Maple, had started looking at porn
it made her feel "guilty and more lonely
and depressed than ever." Dipstick told
her that if her partner didn't feel like
having sex, she should look at porn and
masturbate, and that "there is nothing
wrong with porn." Lipstick told her to
get over her "issues" around porn in
counseling because of her "shame."
I am astonished that Lipstick and
Dipstick could turn relationship trouble
into an advertisement for porn and
practically say that lesbians should like
porn, and if they don't they are crazy!
I have had the great good fortune
to never be in a relationship where
my partner has said, "Oh honey, you
have the flu and don't feel like having
sex? No problem, I'll just look at some
pictures of girls who are way hotter than
you and jack off. Aren't you glad we
are so sexually healthy?" Geez, even
my ex-husband was sensitive enough
to understand that many women are a
tad threatened by pornography. Maybe
it is a femme thing, but I have to walk
this earth every day being compared to
an idealized and impossible-to-attain
version of beauty, a version that is often
portrayed in porn. And porn doesn't
turn me on, it usually makes me feel
bad. Even though Lipstick and Dipstick
would disagree, I don't think I'm crazy.
I think a lot of women are glad their
partners don't flaunt pornography in
their faces and tell them they need
counseling if they don't like it.
And Dipstick, is there really nothing
wrong with porn? Nothing at all? Even
the fact that most women who are
posing for your pleasure were sexually
abused as children? That right there is
a big turn-off for many women ... Let's
take care of one another, not impose
our sexual likes on others as the only
game in town. And when people write
in about being "lonely in their relationship," I hope Lipstick and Dipstick will
focus on how that could be made better. It's unlikely that pornography will do
much to enrich their relationship.
- Sunshine in California
Lipstick:Sunshine in California, thank
you for writing in. You made some
really good points. Beyond touching
on porn, I did address her relationship problems. I told Miserable to get
her butt into therapy because there
is a reason they've stopped having
sex, a reason her partner's shut down.
Encouraging her to also discuss her
guilt around looking at pornography
(of her own volition, I might add, not
because some guy shoved it down her
throat or Lipstick and Dipstick told her
to do so) is also a real issue here. She
went to those sites and then felt shame
around it. That shame, and wherever
it stems from, is also playing into her
relationship. As advice columnists, we
hear from a lot of women who feel way
too much guilt around sexuality-in
the world, in the bedroom and in their
minds. I believe women, unless they're
doing or supporting something that is
illegal, or will hurt someone, need to
lighten up about sex and all the colorful
flags that hang from it. Finally, it was
Lipstick and Dipstick whom Miserable
wrote into, not Dr. Laura. And it is
Lipstick and Dipstick whom readers are
reading, not a column by Dr. Phil. They
walk into the Lipstick and Dipstick fire
knowing we have strong opinions, often make light of things,
dig our teeth into specific issues
and spank bottoms. (Just to
clarify that last statement, Sunny,
I wasn't encouraging women to
practice S/M. Or wait, maybe I
was.)
Dipstick:Sunshine touched on
an age-old debate, didn't she?
Is pornography just another way
to oppress women, or is it freeing and sexually liberating? Will
lesbians and feminists ever agree
on this? Probably not, because
like most things, it's not black
and white, good or evil, right
or wrong. Just because some
rock songs are misogynistic and
homophobic doesn't mean that
all music is.
Though many lesbians who
make porn for women weren't
sexually abused, I won't argue
that many women involved in the
sex industry in general were abused
as children. That's because so many
women were sexually abused-period.
In fact, the national nonprofit Darkness
to Light estimates, conservatively no
doubt, that one in four women are
sexually abused before they turn 18.
We all have reasons to feel bad about
our sexuality, whether it be abuse,
homophobia, poor body image or
religious indoctrination. Lipstick and
Dipstick are advocating that women
take control of their sexuality and feel
good about it. There's no need to feel
guilt or shame about masturbation
when your partner is not available.
If porn turns you on, go for it. If it
doesn't, that's OK, too. What we want
is for every woman to be empowered
about her satisfaction. Maybe one day
we'll get there and we'll all walk naked
in the sunshine with you, California.
October 2009
I25
ADVICE Money
ShapingUp YourNet Worth
Ten steps toward improving your financial fitness. By Nina Lary
For years, Marcia Brixey had a job with
a decent salary, excellent benefits and a
great office, but nothing much about the
job itself made her happy. The only part of
being a public relations specialist for the
Social Security Administration that Brixey
enjoyed was helping women-attending
financial conferences and speaking to women's
groups about the importance of supplemental savings. After almost a decade of being
dissatisfied, she quit her job and founded
Money Wi$e Women, a financial education
organization for women. Brixey's latest book,
The Money Therapist: A Womans Guide
to Creating a Healthy Financial Life (sealpress.com), offers a ton of good advice for
women who want to get wise about their
money. Here are 10 ways you can start:
1. Determine
yourgoals.Do you want to get
out of debt:' Buy a new car or a house:' Travel:'
Start an education fund for you or your
kids:' Write down your financial goals using
affirmative language, such as "I will do X, Y
and z:• Brixey emphasizes the importance
of"SMART" goals-goals that are Specific,
Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timebased. Set reasonable deadlines for achieving
your financial goals, and meet them.
2.Writeanactionplan.This could be the single
most important document in your financial
portfolio. Action plans can be broken down
into short-term and long-term categories.
Start by listing a corresponding action or
two alongside each of your goals to help nail
down practical ways to reach them.
or buying a home safe to store your financial
inventory and other irreplaceable documents, such as your will, power of attorney,
property deeds and insurance policies.
5. Trackyourpurchases.
Track all your spending for one week, then analyze it for potential
reductions. Try not to spend less than you
usually would. The idea isn't to alter your
spending yet, but to get a true picture of
your spending habits.
3. Cleanout yourcloset.Toss out all unnecessary paperwork, including tax documents
that are more than seven years old. Organize
the paperwork you need to hold on to, and
keep these files neat.
6. Breakdownyour budget.Brixey likes to
call it a "spending plan;' because that focuses
on what you do get to spend instead of
what you don't. Whatever you want to call
it, a budget is an essential component of any
financial plan. Don't be overly restrictive
at first or willpower may crumble the way it
does on a crash diet.
4. Createa financialinventory.In a single
document, list the names, addresses, phone
and account numbers of all your financial
accounts. Consider renting a safe deposit box
7. Clear up your credit. Order your credit
report and analyze it for any inaccuracies.
Settle delinquent accounts and dear up any
errors. Call all your credit card companies
26
Icurve
and ask for better interest rates. You'll be
surprised at how many will comply.
8. Set up savings.If you don't already have
them, set up a savings, an IRA and an emergency fund account. Using an auto-transfer
from your primary bank account every
month helps you stash money away without
even trying.
9. Be preparedfor the inevitable.If you don't
already have one, write a will. Make sure all
your insurance policies are current and the
beneficiary information is correct on all your
insurance and financial accounts.
10. Continue
yourfinancialeducation.Set up
a time with a financial expert in your area
to go over a list of any financial questions
you have. If you can, find an advisor who
understands the specific financial needs that
lesbians (and lesbian couples) have. Make a
plan to continue your financial education,
such as attending a conference or budgeting
money for books on finance. ■
Health ADVICE
Kim Kardashian Gets You Fit
Workouts that firm without the fuss. By Katie Peoples
Celebutante, fashion entrepreneur and proud owner of that famous
booty, Kim Kardashian is breaking out with a new kind of tape-several of them, in fact. And lesbian fans are lining up to see 'em.
Her new line of workout DVDs, Fit in Your Jeans by Friday, is a
no-nonsense, practical way to get the curves you want without
worrying about tricky moves or expensive equipment.
"Every day, I try to do squats and core work, lots of sit-ups,
different stuff I can do without fitness equipment," says the
curvaceous brunette.
The new DVDs are based on Kardashian's personal workout regimen, which she's tailored to her busy, jet-setting lifestyle.
Between her boutique, Dash, and her E! reality show, Keeping Up With
the Kardashians, this lady is on the go. When she's in town, she hits the
treadmill and cardio at the gym. But, she says, dieting isn't part of her
fitness routine.
"I can't stick to a diet-I've tried. I just don't diet," she says. "I mean,
I should diet. I'm trying to figure something out, but I just don't."
The DVDs are timely, considering that Kardashian came out earlier
this year to defend her weight in the tabloids. Several gossip mags ran
stories claiming that she wears plus size clothes-which
says a lot about
Hollywood beauty standards, since Kardashian is a size 2. Her body
image has been the topic of many an issue of Us Weekly, to the point
that Kardashian actually posed for Life & Style Weekly"in a bikini-without
airbrushing-to
show the world what she really looks like. Frustrated with
the media for spreading false information, Kardashian released a statement
on her blog taking the gossip mags to task. Her measurements are even
posted on her blog.
"I just get a little bit frustrated ... when they misinform and put [out] the
wrong kind of information, but I think everyone should be happy with themselves, no matter what size," she says. "And if [they aren't], they have the
choice to do what they can to change it. Work out, go to the gym."
Like her famous tush, that's advice we can get behind. ■
WANT MORE WORKOUTS?
Go to curvemag.com for our take on
the hottest fitness DVDs, including
Hemalayaa: Bol/ywood Dance
Workouts and Fitness for Beginners
I TRIED
IT
So, You Think You're Funny?
Pick up the mic, you might just bring down the house! By Laurie K. Schenden
Butterflies, I expected-but no one said anything about butt flutters.
I'm about to step up to the microphone at
the Hudson Theater in Hollywood, Cali£,
and instead of concentrating on a killer intro,
I'm preoccupied with an unexpected trembling in the seat of my pants.
Is it visible? It's so distracting that the last
minute pep talk from my comedy advisor
sounds like it's taking place underwater. At
this moment I accept that I will never, ever,
make it as a standup comic. A secret, lifelong
dream has been shattered.
But wait, chucklehead. Fear, insists Judy
Carter, is a comic's friend. The inability to
mouth a coherent sentence onstage is not only
humiliating, it might also lay the foundation
for a comedy routine. But before racing over
to a TonightShow taping, I have a lot to learn.
Carter is a nationally known comic, the
author of The ComedyBibleand the leader of a
free Sunday afternoon workshop for standup
hopefuls. She was a regular in comedy
venues from the Improv to Caesar's Palace in
Atlantic City, N.J. She's been on Oprah and
Good Morning America. Now she's traveling
the world, giving hilarious and empowering
motivational speeches and teaching standup
comedy to pros and novices alike, through the
2s
Icurve
site Comedy Workshops.com.
Sure, she's got it all together
now, with a fabulous career,
a wife and a house in Venice
Beach complete with a family
of assorted four-legged creatures. But life wasn't always
so cushy for Carter. She was
a geeky, unpopular kid with a
speech impediment who came
from a dysfunctional family.
And she's not afraid to use it.
Audiences like comics who
reveal bad news about themselves, Carter explains-"the
stuff you normally don't tell
people, things that should not
be funny:'
Julia Sweeney's one-woman
show is an example. The award-winning God
Said,Ha! is based on the period in Sweeney's
life when she and her brother got cancer
simultaneously. What could be less funny
than that? (The hit show also became a book
and a film.)
Carter efficiently pulls punch lines out of
any topic our group dishes up. Her tips play
like the dos and don'ts of standup comedy.
Carter asks if anyone hasn't had a turn at
the mic. Four of us raise our hands. I'm last.
I look out at the crowded theater like a deer
caught in the headlights. Carter throws me
a lifeline, asking about my childhood. Since
I am the middle child and the mediator in
the family, she suggests that I play psychologist and analyze my siblings. It could've been
simple, like, "Barbie, tell me how it feels when
our brother spits in your hair:' But my head is
empty. And I once majoredin psychology.
Carter mercifully uses this mental vacancy
as a "teaching moment;' taking the attention
off me. "Comedy is going to that uncomfortable place;' she explains. 'i\nd people can
relate to that:'
As everyone files out of the theater, many
inquire about the eight-week workshop (also
open to out-of-towners). These in-depth sessions culminate in a gig at the Hollywood
Improv and include a DVD of the performance.
When I stop to thank Carter, she cheerfully puts an arm around my shoulders. My
experience is not uncommon, she assures
me, adding that my reaction haunts even the
most seasoned comics.
"You were everyone's biggest fear;' she says
with a smile.
I took that as a vote of confidence. ■
Carter's Tips for More Har Hars
•
•
Focusonthe audience,
notyourself.Practicereplacingthe word"I" with "you."
Insteadof saying"I hateit
when... " say,"Don'tyouhate
it when... " Themostcommon
topicsin standupcomedyrevolvearoundregular,everyday
stuff:beingsingle,losinga job,
gainingweight,growingolder.
Ourvenuehasan eclecticmix
of young,old,men,women,gay,
straight.Wendall,a 40-ishman,
confidentlystepsto the mic.
"I belongto the groupof
middle-aged,
whitegaymales,
whoforgotto becomewealthy
andfabulous."
Thecrowdlovesit. There
aren'tmanygaymenin the
room,yetthe audiencerelatesto
Wendall.
,!·:. \.:..
' »
Understand
the group
withwhomyouidentify.
"Knowingthattellsyouwhoto
marketto, whatto buildyour
setaround.I havegigsscheduled
acrossthe
countryfor womenin my [50-something]
age
group,"saysCarter.
'
e
Don'toppressthe
oppressed.
Jokesaboutwomen
over40 or othergroupswhoaretypically
victimsof humorcanputaudiences
on the
defensive,
andyouwantthemon yourside.
TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
Susan·Love
The women's health advocate raised an army to fight breast cancer. By Katie Peoples
Dr. Susan Love has been a tireless advocate
for breast cancer research and women's participation in their own health for three decades.
A practicing surgeon, she got her start as chief
resident at Beth Israel Hospital in Boston in
1979. Her book, Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book,
is considered the bible of breast health, and she
is the founder of the Dr. Susan Love Research
Foundation. Most recently she has teamed
up with the Avon Foundation for Women
to form the Love/ Avon Army of Women.
She and her partner Helen Cooksley have a
21-year-old daughter named Katie.
1. She loves boobs.As one of the first
people to encourage women to be involved
in their own medical treatment, Love has
helped bring breast cancer to
the forefront of women's health
concerns.
2. She'sa sciencegeekand she
wantsyouto be one,too. Love's
Army of Women aims to
bring research volunteers and
researchers together. However,
she says, "The challenge is not to
get women to sign up. The challenge is to get scientists to use
the army:!
3. She's a great teacher.Not
only can she teach brainiacs at
Harvard and UCLA, but she
can also discuss breast cancer in
layman's terms.
4. She gets the Hollywoodelite
involved.At the fifth anniversary celebration of the Avon
Comprehensive Breast Center at
San Francisco General Hospital,
Reese Witherspoon, the honorary chairman of the Avon
Foundation for Women, was so
inspired by Love that she signed
up for the Army of Women on
the spot, as No. 278,027. "Today
I'm proud to say I'm signing up for the Love/
Avon Army of Women;' said Witherspoon.
Other famous women who've signed on
as "ambassadors" include celesbians Suze
Orman and Leisha Hailey.
are news reports about new risk factors or
other links to breast cancer. But, Love says,
80 percent of all women diagnosed have no
known risk factors. All the more reason to
get your mammograms!
5. She'sdetermined
to seeprogress
in thefight 7. Butshedoesn'tscareyou.While lesbians
againstbreastcancer.When she was a young
have high rates of breast cancer, and breast
doctor, she explains, an abnormal PAP smear
cancer is the second-highest
cause of
meant a hysterectomy. Now, she says, we cancer deaths in the United States, Love is
oddly comforting to talk to about this disknow that the human papaloma virus causes
ease. Perhaps it's because she's so passionate
cervical cancer and we have a vaccination
for it. Why can't the same be true for breast
about finding a cure that one is left feeling
cancer? "We can be the generation to eradiempowered and inspired, not discouraged
and hopeless.
cate breast cancer;' she says.
6. She'srealistic.
It seems that every day there
8. She wants messywomen."We need to
do research on women;' she
says, "messy women:' The way
science is done in the United
States, says Love, gets in the
way of answering big questions. It's time to shift research
away from animals like rats that
present predictable results and
toward women. And she means
all women, including lesbian,
bisexual and trans women. Even
trans men need to be studied,
because testosterone has been
linked to breast cancer.
9. She gets results.Since the
inception of the Army of Women
last year, over 250,000 volunteers
have been recruited worldwide,
and Love's research foundation
has awarded $900,000 in pilot
grants since 1998. Dr. Susan
Love's Menopause and Hormone
Book was one of the first to call
attention to the link between
cancer and the widespread use of
hormone replacement therapy in
postmenopausal women.
10.Howcanyounotlovea lesbian
namedDr.Love?■
October 2009
I29
DYKE
DRAMA
How to Builda BetterQueer
Is having queer-savvy parents really that important? By Michele Fisher
It doesn't look like any of my sister's kids
are gay. She and I scrutinize their behavior for signs while they play and go about
their daily routines, but, so far, we can't find
a queer among them. We had a glimmer of
hope once when we noticed that one of her
sons couldn't sleep until he'd put all his toys
away in their correct places, but then we
figured out he just had OCD, not homosexuality. "Maybe one of them will be bi;'
I told my sister the other day. "Maybe;' she
responded wistfully.
My sister thinks it's a shame that some gay
kid out there is going to be born to parents
who are clueless, while she and her husband
would love to nurture a little homo. I don't
know. Our parents didn't seem to notice that
I was a dyke, even though my sister swears I
was an obvious gaybo from the first trimester, but I am none the worse for it. My sister
is convinced that more enlightened parenting
would have vastly improved my childhood.
But it's hard for me to feel too sorry for
myself. When I was a kid, the best you could
hope for was that your parents would turn a
blind eye to your obvious signs of homosexuality. My parents had gay glaucoma where
I was concerned, so I feel like I lucked out.
I could have been one of those horror stories of abandonment and abuse, rather than
just a lost little dork. Would my life have
been that different if my parents had realized I was going to be gay and nurtured me
accordingly:'
I suppose if my folks had noticed I was
gay they might have warned me not to chase
the prettiest girl in my class in the second
grade. They might have advised that I let
her come to me. That way, I wouldn't have
had to spend that school year taking her
dares, to the amusement of the entire class,
and giving her the dessert out of my lunch
every day, because my parents would have
explained to me that she was just a little
"dyke tease" in training.
I guess I wouldn't have felt the need to
hide my Charlie's Angels stuff in the bottom
drawer of my dresser; instead, I would have
30
I curve
displayed it proudly. And Dad and I could
have bonded over having the Farrah Fawcett
vs. Cheryl Ladd debate after we watched the
show on Wednesday nights.
My mother and I wouldn't have had all
those silly arguments about that girl Lisa,
who was a bad influence on me when I was
12. Looking back, it's a safe bet that my mom
and Lisa's mom had a pretty good idea of
what was going on between us-even if we
didn't. We just knew that we loved spending
time together and hated it when one of us
had to go home, even though we were way
-.•.
•
past the age where we were supposed to be
making a fuss about having to go home. I
knew we were acting suspicious, but I didn't·
seem to be able to act "normal:' Lisa's mom
worked late and she never seemed to know
how many cigarettes she was supposed to
have or how many beers were supposed to be
left in the refrigerator, but she sure seemed
to know how many cute boys there were in
our class and which ones would be perfect
for Lisa. I hated it when her mom would talk
about boys, especially when she was drunk
and sloppy and would talk way too close to
Best Domestic
Gay Resort Town
-2006,2007,2008,
If my parentshad nurturedmy gayness,I wouldnot
havehad to waste allof that time pretendingto care
aboutwhat the othergirlscaredabout in orderto
get closerto them. I wouldhave
been able to tellthem that if
theywantedto hangwith me,
they couldfindme readingan
age-inappropriate
book in the
bleacherswiththe othernerds.
my face. When my mom finally forbade me
from hanging out with Lisa, because of the
booze and ciggies, I was angrier than I had
ever been. And sadder, too. Sure, I was a
tween, and I probably would have been miserable no matter what, but I was a hot mess
of snot and hormones that entire summer.
If Mom had just told me that Lisa was not
going to be "the one;' but that she was welcome to come over to our house whenever
she wanted, I probably would have engaged
in some awkward petting with her on my
twin bed, and her drunk mother would
have come over and threatened to kick my
parents' asses for trying to turn her daughter into a dyke. Then my parents would
have called the police and Lisa would have
been taken by CPS and, well, I guess things
would have turned out basically the same.
If my parents had nurtured my gayness,
I would not have had to waste all that time
pretending to care about what the other girls
cared about in order to get closer to them.
I would have been able to tell them in the
fourth grade that I hated tetherball almost as
much as I hated dolls, and if they wanted to
hang with me, they could find me reading an
age-inappropriate book in the bleachers with
the other nerds.
If my parents had recognized what was
up with me, I could have been saved from
countless embarrassing episodes between
the age of 5 and 14, when my two best coping
mechanisms were swearing and lying. I did
them both all day, every day. "Fuck this;' I
told my classmates when we were learning
our multiplication tables."! am already doing
'triggermometry' after school with my uncle,
who teaches at Harvard:' I lied and cursed
my way all through grammar school and
middle school. By high school, I recognized
that swearing was fine, but lyin'g was giving
me all kinds of unnecessary stress. I decided
to confine myself to lying only when motivated by self-preservation. Like when my
best friend, the prom queen, asked me if I
would like to double date with her, and I said
"yes;' instead of saying that I would really
much rather spend the evening alone with
her in the backseat of my Toyota.
And that's another thing. If my parents
had just told me I was gay, I wouldn't have
wasted all those Friday and Saturday nights
on fake-ass dates with boys. I know I could
have just stayed home, but I was gay, not a
loser. And I'm not going to lie (really)it wasn't that awful. Being a teenager is all
about breaking the rules and driving your
parents nuts, and fooling around with boys
did satisfy both those crucial requirements.
So, I guess knowing earlier that I was gay
wouldn't have been all that helpful. I may
have turned to drugs or gambling, instead of
sex, and ended up face down in an alley or in
the trunk of a Town Car.
After pondering the matter for a while, I
had to tell my sister that although it would
have been swell to have had enlightened parents, in my case, I don't think it would have
made a whole lot of difference. ■
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POLITICS
CivilUnionsAren'tCivilRights
Same-sex couples remain separate and unequal. By Victoria A. Brownworth
About 15 years ago, I wrote a column for
curve about marriage. I said I thought marriage was bad for everyone, especially women,
and that lesbians and gay men should stop
fighting for marriage equality. I tossed the
military issue in for good measure as "Don't
Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT) had recently been
signed into law, followed soon after by the
Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).
My argument then was that marriage and
the military were oppressive institutions. I
thought embracing them was a mistake.
My feelings about marriage and the military
remain conflicted. Gay men and lesbians who
are willing to put their lives on the line for
America should not be treated as shameful
secrets. No one would ask a person of color
to wear whiteface throughout their military service,
yet that is what is expected
of queers in the military.
DADT creates a situation
where lies and pretense are
the norm and queer servicetheir children would
men and women have to live
receive the death benin fear of being outed as well
efits their marriage
as losing their lives.
allows. Whichever
As for marriage, not
spouse died first
everyone wants to marry. And I remain
would inherit the other's assets.
unconvinced that the state should be
Those are just a handful of the 1,400 or so
involved in our personal relationships. But benefits that come with legal, federally-and
since marriage is available to all heterosexuals state-sanctioned
marriage. Civil unions
under any circumstance-even a drunken one- don't begin to cover the breadth of civil
night stand in Las Vegas-it should also be an rights that marriages do. And what's more,
option for all lesbians and gay men.
civil unions aren't available to all gay men and
I've written repeatedly about marriage
lesbians, either. I live in Pennsylvania where
equality in the past few years. Most of that
neither queer civil unions nor queer marriage
writing has been for the mainstream press
are legal.
and as a consequence has been explanatory:
Recently, friends have told me that I am
Why is marriage equality important? Why
being "insensitive" to the president on queer
aren't civil unions enough?
civil rights issues. Others have told me I am
According to President Barack Obama,
"over-wrought" on the issue and that he has
civil unions are enough for lesbians and gay "more important" issues to tackle first. Still
men. And yet Barack and Michelle are in a others have told me that the president is
marriage, not a civil union. They file a joint
"biding his time" until he can make the right
tax return, get the tax breaks that come move on both DOMA and DADT.
with a marriage, get the spousal benefits of
Here's what I know. I have been personsocial security. If either spouse should die, ally hurt and financially damaged by not
32
Icurve
being able to marry. So have the two women
I wanted to marry.
My ex and I bought a house together. If
we had been married, both our names would
have been on the mortgage, even though as a
writer my income fluctuated. (My sister was
pregnant and not working when she and her
husband bought their house-no
problem
with having her on the mortgage though,
because she was married.)
Now, a decade after my ex and I split, I am
still paying the mortgage on the house we
bought together as I always did. I still live in
it. But that house is in her name. And she
has to pay taxes on it as if it were a second
home, while I get no tax benefit from it, can't
refinance and can't get a home equity loan on
it to make necessary repairs.
So, don't tell me it doesn't matter if you
can't marry.
My current partner and· I have been
together for almost 10 years. We would
like to get married, but, of course, we can't
because it isn't legal in our state. As a consequence, our incomes are depleted by having
to pay extra health insurance premiums as
well as extra taxes. Neither of us can access
the other's Social Security if one of us dies.
When we each have had medical crises in
recent years, we've had to explain our rela~
tionship repeatedly to doctors and hospital
staff and hope for the best.
Don't tell me separate is equal. Don't
expect me to believe that our president,
who grew up with the inequities that are a
product of racism, doesn't have an exquisite
comprehension of what discrimination is. I
might have believed that of John McCain. I
do not believe it of Barack Obama, son of
an African immigrant and a white teenager
from Kansas. After all, Loving v. Virginia,
the U.S. Supreme Court ruling overturning
laws against mixed~race marriages, wasn't
passed until 1967-six years after Obama
was born.
Ironically, Obama's administration chose
the 42nd anniversary of the Loving decision
to file a brief on DOMA. The same man who,
as a candidate, said he would work to overturn
the repressive law implicitly supported the
brie£ which compared same~sex marriage to
incest and pedophilia.
Civil rights battles are long, hard and
unenviable. Certainly Mildred and Richard
Loving knew that. So does every gay and
lesbian couple in the United States. If you
want to marry, you can't in 44 states. And
even if you were married in one of the six
states where same~sex marriage is legal,
or are one of the 18,000 gay or lesbian
couples married in California when it was
legal, your marriage isn't recognized by the
federal government.
Obama owes the gay and lesbian com~
munity. He owes us for our votes, which
made the difference in his being elected. But
mostly, he owes us for history. As the first
African American president, Obama knows
better than any president in American history
what it is to be the victim of policies that say
separate is equal, what it is to have people
promote stereotypes about you, what it is to
be marginalized when you are just as valuable
and as true an American as everyone else.
Last November, I voted for change and
for hope. But nearly a year after the election,
nothing has changed and I have lost hope. I
am as unequal under the law as ever, and so is
every other lesbian and gay man. ■
see what
it can do!
Subscribetoday at curvemag.com
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opy
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ea Boogna
An American
lesbian finds
community
in Italy.
By Stephanie
Schroeder
Clockwise from
left: Bologna's
impressive vista;
local flags; the
author (right) with
Antonia Ciavarella
Ever the Virgo, I was planning my fifth house swap
on the heels of my return from London, already itching
for my next adventure. Thrifty, as always, I contacted
potential home exchangers from Berlin to Geneva and
Barcelona to Prague on sites like Craigslist and exchangezones.com, but it was a photo of a studio apartment in
Bologna onJewettStreet.com that caught my eye.
Bologna. Ir seemed idyllic from the descriptions and photos
sent by the occupant of said studio, a woman a few years my
junior. I had doubts at first because: I didn't know anyone
there, I planned to travel alone and I was well aware that most
residents probably would not speak much, if any, English. But
I decided these challenges would be part of the mystique of
my journey.
Then I heard that my friend filmmaker Pratibha Parmar
was at Bologna's Gender Bender Festival last year. She
connected me to some Italian sisters and, by the time my trip
rolled around, I was in touch with a Bologna local, Antonia
Ciavarella. Antonia, who is involved in lesbian-feminist and
local leftist politics and arts organizing, was the force behind
bringing Pratibha to the Soggettiva program ( women's
section) at Gender Bender.
Before I knew it, I was meeting Antonia beneath the statue of
Neptune in the Piazza Maggiore. We spoke about our mutual
friend, lesbian-feminism and the arts. She spoke English fairly
well, but hardly understood my rapid speech. She was obviously over my Brooklynese by the time we met her best friend
for a pizza dinner. Fortunately for her, Maria is an English
literature professor in a small city outside Bologna near
the Alps. Fortunately for me, Antonia did not hold my
quicksilver tongue against me and got me the lowdown on
several events happening in Bologna while I was in town.
We went to see eco-feminist Vandana Shiva at the
Italian Women's Library one afternoon. The same
evening we attended Divergenti, an international trans
34
I curve
film festival where many of the same individuals we had
seen at Shiva's talk were also in attendance. The trans film
event was extremely important for the queer community,
as it was an international commemoration of 40 years of
Stonewall and 30 years of Movimento Identita Transessuale.
Ir was a blending of the lesbian and trans communities
Bologna had not previously seen.
Of course, lesbians are lesbians are lesbians, the whole world
over so if you're thinking of escaping the dyke drama, forget
it now. But there are some distinct differences between the
Bologna lesbians and the ones you know back home. While
Stone Butch Blues is on bookshelves, Antonia told me that
lesbian-feminist writers like Adrienne Rich and Audre Lorde
have still not been translated into Italian. In Bologna this
means the lesbian community is tied to feminist politics in
particular, and leftist political and arts organizing in general.
The term arci serves as an overarching category for arts and
culture in the city-there is Arcigay, the Italian lesbian and
gay association and ArciLesbica (arcilesbica.ir/bologna).
Generally arci also often indicates some aspect of anarchism,
a movement that holds a historical place in the city's political
milieu. Bologna was a communist bastion of revolutionary
movement, and leftist thinking is still very much present in
the culture there. The city was even the home to the first
university in the Western world. Today Antonia's neighborhood, Il Pratello, houses students, artists, organizers, radicals
and revolutionaries still influenced by Bologna's Red history.
On my final day I bought my last cappuccino and brioche
breakfast and went to Cassero, the local gay and lesbian
community center. I met with Antonia, Elisa Manici, Daniele
De Pozzo, the artistic director of Gender Bender, and Marco
Urizzi, a paid consultant for Soggettiva. (As usual, the
lesbians are all volunteers and don't make a dime.) Roughly
translated soggettiva means "subjective:' This group brings curBella Bologna continued on page 64
LESBA
RAVEL
made
In November, two thousand lesbians set sail from New Orleans for the
Western Caribbean on Sweet's revolutionary maiden voyage. Sure,
lesbian-exclusive vacations have been around for a long time, but Sweet
adds a whole new dimension with its groundbreaking and fun
volunteer excursions.
"Take a catamaran party cruise on Tuesday, lie on the beach sipping a
margarita on Wednesday, protect sea turtle habitat on Thursday and swim
with the dolphins on Friday," Shannon Wentworth, Sweet CEO and
founding partner, said during a recent sit-down over a cup of fair trade
coffee at World Grounds. "And every night, there's a phenomenal show
followed by a hot dance party."
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For Sweet, it's all about dicing huge global
problems into bite-sized, community-building
projects. "Everything we do combines fun with
social and environmental responsibility,"
Wentworth said. "That's Sweet." And if you're
not into doing a project while you're on vacation?
"That's totally Sweet, too. You can feel good
knowing wonderful, vitally necessary things are
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being done in the communities we're visiting,"
she said.
The Sweet Caribbean Cruise, Nov. 8-15, 2009, is
the largest lesbian cruise ever. It's also the only
one with volunteer excursions-every
one of them
designed to be "extremely fun and profoundly
meaningful," said Wentworth, who scouted the
projects in April. "It's so empowering and energizing
to know that we can make a huge difference in a
short period of time."
Sweet projects include a reef cleanup for scuba
divers, dedicating a children's library at an underprivileged school, repainting a children's hospital
ward and a huge beach cleanup party.
Think there's no way a cruise could be eco-friendly?
Get ready to dance the night away with six of the
Think again. Sweet offsets all the carbon created
world's best lesbian DJs on board, DJ Dirty Kurty,
by all of its travel operations through a partnership
Club Skirt's DJ Kathy V, DJ Ms. Jackson, DJ
with CarbonFund.org.
Tatiana, DJ Trina J and, all the way from Paris,
Sweet boasts an incredible roster of out comedians
babes of Babeland will be on board to host sex
and musicians for the cruise, like the legendary
workshops, sell their wares and provide sexy prizes.
Disco Bambina. And if that's not hot enough, the
(and "funny as hell") Suzanne Westenhoefer, Erin
Foley, Sandra Valls, Gloria Bigelow, Kate McKinnon,
Dismal economic news be damned. Sweet offers
Chantal Carrere and Amy Tee and singer-songwriters
third and fourth guests free in a cabin as well
Edie Carey, Jen Foster, Melange Lavonne, Adrianne
as a no-fee, no-interest 12-month payment plan.
and Natalia Zukerman. She's also thrilled to have
That makes the cruise $36 per person per
out celebrities on the ship such as Jill Bennett and
month for foursomes, $48 for threesomes and $71
Cathy DeBuono, stars of "And Then Came Lola" and
for twosomes.
the hit webseries "We Have to Stop Now," plus fitness trainer Shawnee Harkins from "Dr. Phil,"
"Ask for time off. Call your dog sitter. Get a new
the cast of AfterEllen's "Cherry Bomb," Curve
bikini," Wentworth said. "And get on board."
magazine's Lipstick and Dipstick and Natalie Garcia
and Meghan Hall from AfterEllen's "Nat & Meg's
Learn more about Sweet at DiscoverSweet.com
Sweet Adventures."
or ca/1877.793.3830.
Sweet is a member of the
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Sti Ta
••••••••
ur
Berlin's iconic• singer Terri Nunn on sex,
freedom and her new CD.
By Laurie K. Schenden
ath Away
Before there was Lady Gaga, today's pop It-girl, there was Terri Nunn,
lead vocalist for the iconic new wave band Berlin. Unapologetically sexy
and sporting a serious set of pipes, Nunn explored-and subverted-sex,
fantasy and gender roles in her lyrics. Throughout her career, this daring
and original chanteuse has taken calculated risks that have put her ahead of
the curve and endeared her to a generation of queers. Her music has rocked
the gay club scene ever since Berlin became an international sensation over
two decades ago.
Berlin became a mainstream phenomenon in 1986 with "Take My
Breath Away" (which appeared on the soundtrack for Top Gun), but it was
their 1982 underground favorite "Sex (I'm a ... );' a risque track that was
banned from many Top 40 stations for its controversial lyrics, that made
the band a bona fide LGBT fave.
The song, a duet that explores sexual identity, highlights how the roles
women play are much more varied than those played by men. It also
famously hinted at the possibility of Nunn's sexual fluidity. In the third
chorus Nunn asks introspectively, ''.AmI bit Ever since, queer gals everywhere have wondered what the answer was.
"The thing I regret most in my sexuality is not being right out front with
whomever I was attracted [to] about what I like;' says the 48-year-old, candidly. Recalling her three-month relationship with another woman, Nunn
says it was "one of the best experiences I ever had. She taught me more
about myself as a woman than I ever could learn any other way. It's because
of her that I realized how amazing I am as a woman. If a woman touches
me now, I know what they're touching because I've had her and it was
fucking unbelievable!"
Ironically, the relationship ended because the other woman was feeling
an emotional connection and Nunn was only in it for sex. "I was kind of
like a guy;' says Nunn. "I was just so in lust with her. I loved her body:'
When asked what type of woman she's attracted to, the petite vegetarian
insists that it's anyone who is not like her, physically or otherwise. "I like
voluptuous women, with hips, with padding on them. I like an ass;' she
says with emphasis. "That's such a turn-on. And as for her turn-offs: 'Tm a
little over-ambitious. I don't find that necessarily sexy;' she adds thoughtfully.''I'd be attracted to a woman who has a little more time in her life:'
"Sex is so weird and outrageous anyway, why not have fun with it?"
she asks. "(At first] I thought, 'What kind of girl am I to want that?' But
that was just stupid, to judge mysel£ When I had fantasies, at 13, of being
spanked, [I thought], oh my God, what am I thinking? I'm a strong woman
and that's not very strong. It took me until I was fucking 20-almost 30before I told anyone. Now it's like, 'Fuck yeah! Harder!"' she laughs.
Nunn has been married for 11 years, and it works, she says, because
"we're not in cages:' She and her husband, Paul Spear, a lawyer, have a
"one-time" agreement, if they absolutely have to have someone. But so far,
because of that agreement, she believes, neither has taken advantage of the
freedom. "There have been maybe two times that I thought about it, but,
Step Aside, Nancy Grace
TV anchor Jane Velez-Mitchell on sobriety, sexuality, landing her
dream job and trying to change the world. By Katrina Fox
Unsurprisingly, with their popularity in
the LGBT community, Nunn and Berlin
have become fixtures at Pride and other
queer events around the country, and this
year Nunn headlined the Los Angeles LGBT
Pride festival.
"It's just a blast, man!" says Nunn of Pride,
explaining that she especially loves the "combination of outrageousness and absolute
safety;' that the events offer. "There's a nonviolence amidst the craziness. It's all about peace
and love, man, and that to me is heaven!"
Nunn, who is No. 11 on VHl's list of
the 100 Greatest Women in Rock & Roll,
somehow juggles her rock star life with
motherhood-she
has a 4-year-old daughter
and two teenage stepsons. She squeezed in
a chat with curve between driving to pick
up her daughter Natalie from daycare and
putting the finishing touches on her latest
CD/DVD, shot at the House of Blues in
Anaheim, Cali£
"It's balls to the wall;' says Nunn, who
sounds more excited than frazzled over the
combination of a looming deadline, family
responsibilities and a chatty reporter. She
laughs when questioned about the double
entendre-laden title of her new CD/DVD
package TerriNunn & Berlin:All the Way In.
"There's a piece of that that I like about it;'
she says, smiling. "But this band, right now,
are all the way into [the music]. It's a feeling
that doesn't happen all the time:'
Nunn gives a lot of the credit for this reenergized attitude to the addition of Goo Goo
Dolls' keyboard player Dave Schulz, who
joined the band a few years ago.
"He's a breath of fresh air;' says Nunn,
explaining that everything clicked once
Schulz arrived. "It's like great sex-you're
lucky if it happens the first time. It takes time
to mesh, to learn each other's rhythms. I'm
so grateful that this DVD came along now
rather than last year:'
The band is also enjoying the publicity for
an acoustic version of "The Metro;' used in
the recent film Naked Ambition, and Nunn
also has her eye on a new venture: "I love
radio and talk radio;' she says. "I love conversation about ideas, exposing people to ideas
and spiritual practices. I would love to get
into that world:' ■
After a dearth of openly gay TV anchors, lesbians are finally claiming a place in the spotlight. No sooner had MSNBC's Rachel Maddow become a media darling, appealing to
queer and straight audiences alike with her quirky humor and informed banter, then HLN,
(formerly Headline News and a sister network to CNN), handed Jane Velez-Mitchell-a
feisty, outspoken, lesbian feminist, vegan, animal rights activist-her own show.
'Tm an overnight sensation that was 30 years in the making;' Velez-Mitchell quips when
asked about her sudden rise to fame, after replacing HLN's conservati"'.e host Glenn Beck
with just a few hours' notice. Previously a reporter on CelebrityJustice,a commentator on
programs including Court TV and a guest host on HLN's Nancy Grace,Velez-Mitchell
rose to the challenge, moving from Los Angeles to New York last year to host IssuesWith
Jane Velez-Mitchell.Each weekday evening at 7 p.m. EST, Velez-Mitchell comments on
and debates a plethora of topics, from Michael Jackson's death to teen criminals and the
link between swine flu and factory farming.
"It's absolutely my dream job;' she
enthuses, because, "now and then I get to
insert something about compassion for
animals:' In her new memoir, iWant, VelezMitchell advocates freeing society of its
addiction to overconsumption, which has a
negative impact on animals, human health
and the environment.
Velez-Mitchell, 53, is no stranger to addiction. An alcoholic from the age of 17, she
began her journey to self-realization 14 years
ago when she decided to get sober.
"That was the key, because without sobriety you don't do anything to change the
world and make it a better place;' she asserts.
"Once I got sober, I had to confront the
world around me and be more honest, and
that's one of the reasons I eventually came
out as a gay American. I wouldn't have done
that ifI hadn't got sober. I didn't have a bottle
of Chardonnay to hide behind:'
It wasn't until 2002, after"a lot of therapy;' that Velez-Mitchell acknowledged to herself
that she was a lesbian. "It was something I'd been in denial about for all those years;' she
admits. Seven years ago, she met documentary filmmaker and editor Sandra Mohr at a
benefit for Farm Animal Sanctuary."She tapped me on the shoulder to do an interview and, I have to say, it was love at first
sight;' Velez-Mitchell chuckles. "It took about a year of editing videos together, then we
began seeing each other and we lived together for several years. We just parted ways not so
long ago, but we're very good friends and still work on animal projects together:'
While Velez-Mitchell was-living with Mohr, she was working as a freelancer and decided
to come out publically as a lesbian after seeing personal finance expert Suze Orman reveal
that she lived with a woman on Larry King Live. An opportunity presented itself in
2007 when Velez-Mitchell was doing fill-in work at KABC Radio with Al Rantel, a gay
Republican radio host in Los Angeles.
"We were discussing the hypocrisy of senators who were very conservative and consistently vote against gay rights;' she explains. "My co-host was talking about how he came
out and we were talking about this issue, yet I was kind of lying by omission, by not
revealing where I was in all this. So we went to a commercial break and I really was feelStep Aside,
ancy Gr·
t.. contu
ued on page 64
October 2009
I39
On The L Word, her character Molly Kroll was one of the few girls who didn't fall apart when Shane ended
their relationship, earning Molly the respect of lesbians everywhere. In real life, Clementine Ford's coming
out was steeped in controversy. After the U.K. lesbian magazine DIVA featured her on its cover with the
tagline "Clementine Ford Comes Out," and suggested in the accompanying article that she'd had real sex
on-set with her co-star Kate Moennig, Ford told TV Guide she'd been misquoted and had not come out
to DIVA. This statement led to a backlash from the queer community. A few months on, she talks to curve
about "that" interview, working with her famous mom (Cybill Shepherd, who played her on-screen mother,
Phyllis Kroll, in the cult dyke drama), her new role on The Young and the Restless and her passion for
strong women and bad reality TV shows.
Well,first of all, thanks for talking to curve, especiallysince
you'venothadthebestexperience
withlesbianmagazines.
Your
comingoutwasprettyrough.Nowthatyou'vehadtimeto reflect
onthewholething,whatareyourthoughts
onit?
I should have known better. There were some clues, definitely,
in the conversation. (The DIVA writer] kept saying, "Thanks
for coming out" and I'm like, "But I didn't:' I've learned my
lesson-my gut said something was wrong.
Thereallybizarrepartwasthe inference
thatyouhadrealsex
on-setwithKateMoennig,
whoplaysShane.
That was ridiculous, just silly.
Afterdoinganinterview
with TVGuideinwhichyoudeniedcoming outto DIVA,somethoughtthat you'dgonebackintothe closet.
TheAdvocatethen reportedyou as sayingthat you're gay,but
just so we're superclear,canyou clarify that youare a lesbian?
We're clear on that!
Let'stalk aboutyourtime on TheL Word.Whatimpactdid it have
onyourlife?
The Young and the
Restless star sets the
record {not so) straight.
By Katrina Fox
going into a group of people who are close, personally and professionally, and I think you get back how you go in. I had the
warmest welcome, from day one, from everybody.
Howwas it playingmother-daughter
with your actualmom,
CybillShepherd?
I feel I got to learn so much. To work with someone who is my
mum in real life made it easier to play and gave me something
else to work with for future roles.
Didshegiveyouanyactingtips?
No! We work in very different ways. We didn't work together
all that much. I had my own dynamic with how I worked with
the crew and cast. We stayed out of each other's way.
Howdid youfeel aboutthe way Shaneand Molly'srelationshipended?
I think it's a shame, but it's good to see someone not completely
fall apart over Shane, because so many girls did. It would have
been more interesting and fun if we hadn't broken up and I
would have been there more in season six! People do change.
I think people are capable of making those changes. I know
people who are like Shane, and when you see them make that
change it's extraordinary.
Wouldyouever datesomeone
likeShane?
That's funny (because] I think I have. I think we have alldated
someone like Shane-and been someone like Shane at some
point. There're people out there who would have some stories
about me that are not great.
Out of all the L Wordcharacters,
who wouldyou mostlike
to date?
Probably, I would have to say, [as] me, Clementine, picking a
random character, Ia. probably date Shane.
What
kindof womenareyouattracted
to?
made me feel really positive.
Notall actorshavehada greatexperience
ontheshow.Howwas I'm a big fan of strong women who can hold their own, are
not easily swayed or pushed and have really strong opinions.
yours?
My girlfriend is (musician and songwriter] Linda Perry. Not
It is scary, going into that situation. You're
Well, not to be all crazy feminist and whatever, but there is
something really incredible ... take the lesbian thing aside-so
much of the crew were women, and being in that environment,
working with so many strong women, was so empowering. It
October 2009
I41
exactly a wet noodle! Because I'm very-I hate to call myself
strong but I've been told I can bulldoze over people if they let
me, so I need someone who can stand up and not let me walk
over them.
You'vebecomea bitof a lesbianiconnow.Howdoesit feel?
I think that's the funniest thing I have heard all week. I've
never thought of myself as a lesbian icon before. One thing
I can say-forger the "icon" thing-but one thing I learned
from TheL Word is that there is a big separation. I have had
straight people come up to me in public. But if you go to a
lesbian bar, you're going to get the famous thing, but when
you're not in char environment, people kind of don't care. I'm
a huge loser and I don't go out much anymore to bars. Lesbian
icon-now I feel pressure!
Whatpoliticalor socialissuesdoyoufeelstrongly
about?
We don't even need to talk about Prop. 8, right? I have friends
that rescue animals and I do little things for them, and I volunteered at a cancer support center. Lirtle quiet things. I don't so
much stand out on the forefront waving flags. I'm fascinated
to see what Obama will do and bring out in me. Parr of the
problem with my generation is we haven't really had to fight
for anything, so we'll see what happens with the abortion
issue and gay marriage.
What'syourtakeonsame-sexmarriage?
I feel like there should not be discrimination or segregation in
that way. I wouldn't want to stop my sister getting married if
she wanted to, so I don't understand how someone down the
street would want to stop me getting married. I think marriage
is outdated and kind of silly,but at the same time, if they get to
42 j
curve
do it, I want to do it, too.
Didyouhaveanyconcerns
thatcomingoutmightadversely
affectyourcareer?
Yes, after I had already done it! My grandmother called my
mom and said, "She's never going to work again, Cybill. Why
did she do that?" and I was like,"Oh, what have I done?" Then
I thought about it and, really,I'm on TheYoung and the Restless
and I'm playing opposite a couple of men. To me, I'm playing
that part, and if you don't buy it, either I'm not doing my job
or you're looking for something to be wrong. I know there are
people my mum has worked with, and they didn't have any
attraction to each other, but you buy it on screen.
What appealedto you aboutthe role of Mackenzie"Mac"
Browning
on TheYoung
andtheRest/es~
The producers said they loved Molly and her dry attitude. Mac
is not as snarky bur she's really strong and it's fun to play someone who is strong and can stand up to so much and be chis
rock. Ir's very close to me.
HowsimilarwasMollyto you?
Ir was funny because the first few episodes, you find your way,
then you spend time with the writers and a few things I suggested ended up in the script. A lot of my attitude, and me,
ended up being written in. Kare [Moennig] and I had great
chemistry. We had rhe ability to play off each other because of
the way the characters were written.
z
0
There'sa real dearthof strongwomenon TV.They'reusually
victims.
~
g
0
Yeah, and it's so boring. I've been the put-upon wife. I've been
Darling Clementine continued on page 64
~
z
0
f-
Was It Just
a "G itch"?
Amazon blames technology for queer books
getting the boot, but not everyone is convinced.
By Lyndsey D'Arcangelo
YOU
LOOK
UPTHE
WORD
''glitch"in
mporary setback:'
ary, it is defined as "a minor problem th
s ofLGBT books
Yet, what happened in April regarding s
sold on Amazon could hardly be consider
A technical"glitch" in the tagging system auto
book that was tagged as containing"adult material" -effective y e eting it from the sales rankings and search engine-in order to protect
the interests of the majority of Amazon's customer base. The only
problem is that books tagged as containing ''gay material" were automatically considered "adult material:' Even innocent stories that fell
into the category of young-adult LGBT fiction were censored. Books
such as Greek Homosexuality, Ellen DeGeneres: A Biography and Milk:
A Pictorial History of Harvey Milk were also affected.
Known as "#amazonfail" on Twitter and to the rest of the Internet
world, the ''glitch" caused an uproar within the LGBT literary community because it appeared as though gay- and lesbian-themed books
were being specifically targeted.
A number of complaints were filed with Amazon when the "glitch"
was discovered. However, it took Amazon two full days to respond,
by issuing a statement regarding the matter. The "embarrassing and
ham-fisted error" had apparently affected the sales rankings and
search results of over an astounding 57,000 books in a multitude
of categories, including Health, Mind and Body; Reproductive and
Sexual Medicine; Erotica; and Gay and Lesbian.
"This problem impacted books not just in the United States but globally;' explained Patty Smith, director of Corporate Communications
for Amazon. "It affected not just sales rank but also had the effect of
removing the books from Amazon's main product search:'
Despite an explanation from Amazon, conspiracy theories ran wild
and blog posts on the subject could be found everywhere from news
outlets to gossip sites. Some thought a conservative group was responsible for the tagging error, while others believed it was an Internet
hacker pulling a prank. There were even suggestions that a computer
worm was infiltrating Amazon's cataloging system. But Amazon
maintained that the "glitch"was simply a technical error.
The issue, according to Smith, was fixed and Amazon has since
taken new measures to ensure that this "accident is less likely to occur
in the future:' Nonetheless, some authors, including Kathleen Bryson,
(Mush and Girl on a Stick) don't buy it.
"My two novels, both literary fiction and not erotica, were caught
up in the 'glitch: My name was also deranked and disappeared altogether from the general search engine;' she said.
What is puzzling is that Bryson's most recent novel, Girl on a Stick,
doesn't fall into any of the categories Amazon claims were affected by
the ''glitch:'
"[It's] a hetero
book;' explained Bryson, "which leads
et er
and gay publishing houses
themselves were targeted, as Suspect
[Press] primarily publishes gay and lesbian fiction:'
Like practically every other LGBT author
on the planet, Bryson wrote to Amazon
expressing her concern."! received their standard 'ham-fisted' letter of nonapology;' she
said. "I wrote back and said that this was not
good enough. I wanted Amazon to address
the fact that there certainly was a decision to
target any sex-related book, and that someone
thought that anything tagged 'gay' equaled 'sex:"
Bryson also finds it telling that Amazon still has
not released the tides of the thousands of books that
were affected. "I am making an educated guess that they
are either gay- and lesbian- and sexuality-themed, with few
exceptions:'
This was disheartening for many LGBT authors, as many of them
depend on Amazon for visibility and sales.
"The relationship of LGBT writers and publishers with Amazon
is identical to that of the heterosexual ones they do business with;'
Was ItJust a "Glitch"~
continuedon page 64
October 2009
I 43
~
•,.(,
·:c.::.:
QUEERING
FEMININITY fe,1nmes
'\·.-....'
Femmes of Power explodes
gender and revels in the fallout.
What defines femme identity? Flipping through
I curve
Femininities
lwOLCANO
I'm a poor western
Catholic suffering from
bipolarity like all the rest.
No matter how hard I
try I've never been able
to escape the duality
of masculine/feminine.
Since I can't escape, I'd
rather laugh than punish
myself. I will never be a
possession ... To top it all
off, some of us who've
chosen femininity prefer
getting it on with another
woman, a tranny or a
fairy ... that really fucks
men up! To me, it's this
fraud that radicalizes the
potential of femme on the
heteronormative map. My
stomach tingles with pleasure just thinking about it.
DYKE MARILYN,
PICCADILLY CIRCUS,
LONDON
>
I came out in the mid-'90s
as a natural born femme,
although I didn't use
that label then. Femme
continues to be about
self-acceptance and empowering what I believe
is an innate physical
and mental sense of
femininity ... Through Dyke
Marilyn I wanted to shatter
the white idol of femininity.
She is the bastard child of
Marilyn Monroe and Jimi
Hendrix who inherited
Jimi's looks and Marilyn's
guitar skills.
PHOTOS
BYDELLAGRACE
VOLCANO
44
Queer
OCLLAllwACC
ITZIAR ZIGA,
BARCELONA
Femmesof Power(Serpent's Tail), the latest book
by gender variant artist Del LaGrace Volcano
and his collaborator, the feminist writer and
activist Ulrika Dahl (pictured above), this is
the first question that surfaces. But, according
to the co-creators of this incisive celebration of
queer femininity, the question misses the point
entirely. The book is a study in the rainbow of
variations on femme identity. Instead of creating
boundaries around femininity, boxing it in with
criteria, the images and text unrelentingly and
playfully pry open the very concept of gender,
allowing the reader to take a good look around.
"I noticed how femmes were left out of the
picture and often relegated to a supporting role,
which felt like a strange and disturbing mimicry
of the heteronorm, where the only way women
achieved status was through her man or her drag
king, butch or trannyboy lover;' says Volcano of
his inspiration to create the book. Dahl recognizes the same dissonance on a conceptual level.
"Femininity continues to be a'problem' for many
feminists, as it is so often coupled with negative
things-passivity, objectification, subordination,
powerlessness, etc. Our book ... is a contribution
to rethinking femininities and its meaning and
implications;' she says.
Add to that the dilemma that femmes are not
always read as queer and the full scope of the
project begins to emerge; and yet, Volcano and
Dahl push their endeavor even further. Through
the compilation of images and interviews with
over 60 subjects from seven countries, the book
etches out a complex sense of queer femme sisterhood. The subjects are connected by their
fierce assertion of their own identities and their
ability to articulate deftly their attitudes toward feminism, femininity and queer politics.
Femmes of Power evokes the potential volatility of a feminism that both celebrates and is
united by difference. "You all show;' writes Dahl,
"[that] femme is at once a private matter of
space ... and a transnational community project:'
[RachelBeebe]
ofPOWER
Exploding
ANDY CANDY @HOME,
STOCKHLOM
In a society where norms of
whiteness, middle-classness and
gender conformity are interwoven,
trans and brown bodies that
take up public space become
threatening. To be accepted,
we're told to shrink and conform
to ideals of femininity that were
never ours ... l am a feminist,
and above all, a girly one.
Since puberty I've struggled
with my body, like all girls and
certainly many femmes. I'm a
feminist because I'm sick of the
disrespect I get for being a girl.
"FEMININITY
CONTINUES
TOBE A
'PROBLEM'
FOR MANY
FEMINISTS."
JAHEDA CHOUDHURY,
MANCHESTER
When I first came to Manchester
I felt that as an Asian Lesbian I
was pretty much on my own and
it seemed stupid and illogical.
How could I be the only Asian in
the Village? ... I desire masculine
women, the smell of the soft leather
when they put on their harness; the
attention of an audience as I share
my world through music and poetry;
acceptance and acknowledgement
from the wider Asian community
without having to hide the existence
of my beautiful girlfriend. And one
day I wish to go into the Gay Village
in Manchester and not have my
sexual identity questioned.
AMBER HOLLIBAUGH, NEW YORK
I have always believed that the identity, the
essence, the distinction that is Femme matteredthat an erotic self-configured femme person
was as intriguing, complex, gender-defying, and
deliciously abnormal as all the other ... identites
occupying our queer universe.
October 2009
I45
PRATIBHA PARMAR @ THE
THAMES BARRIER, LONDON
As a queer trans-national,
desi femme-inist, whose
experience of dislocation and
belonging has been shaped
by a history of diaspora,
fierceness has become, of
necessity, a part of my DNA.
Fierceness: a way of being, a
survivor's modus operandi for
a femme Indian girl exoticised
by white hetronormative
culture .... There is power in
creating an image, a selfidentity that can never be
possessed or defined by the
oppressive gaze of the "other"
if only because I refuse to give
that gaze any agency.
SHAWNA VIRAGO @ THE
LEXINGTON, SAN FRANCISCO
"FEMMEIS AN
"Like most femmes, I am
UMBRELLA
always trying to understand the
shifting parameters of my own
UNDERWHICH femininity.
But does anyone
know what gender is? Then
WE FINDSOLplease tell me 'cause I'm outta
answers. The best I can come
ACE, NOTAN
up with is that it's a lot like
mascara, which
EXCLUSIONARY water-proof
claims to be permanent but
FORMULA."
actually comes off quite easily."
THE ATLANTA FEMME MAFIA,
PARIS, DECATUR
In the past three years the Atlanta Femme
Mafia has received national attention
and inspired an additional five chapters
at least: Milwaukee, St. Louis, Chicago,
Springfield and the Twin Cities. The Atlanta
Femme Mafia declares: "Femme is an
umbrella under which we find solace, not
an exclusionary or restrictive predetermined formula."
46
Icurve
She
hard
for her
0
Lesbians, careers and che
co111panies .re lowe in 2000
7
How many times have you heard it, that
in our is-it-a-depression-or-is-just-arecession ecomony, that we're lucky
to just have jobs. In some parts of the
U.S., unemployment is at Reagan levels
(egad! time for a Springsteen song}
and with women juggling everything
from student loans to childcare and car
payments, chasing the dyke version
of the American dream seems harder
and harder. That's why these stories,
about queer women who love their jobs
and the companies they founded, are
even more important now. LGBT folks
have always paved their own ways,
bucking tradition to work in fields often
inhospitable to us, and even today, while
diversity is just a buzzword in some
workplaces, lesbians are still makia,g
money on their own terms.
October 2009
I4 7
All the entrepreneurs who created the companies listed in our top 10 list of lesbian-owned businesses have at least one
thing in common: They recognized and fulfilled a need in the LGBT marketplace. And, from the chef to the publisher, the
fitness expert to the sex toy aficionado, all these women have used determination and market savvy to reach the top.
Border Grill,
Ciudad and Susan
Feni9er•s Street
Babeland
Founded:
1993
Employees:
63
Success
Story:"We know queer
sex;' say BFFs Rachel Venning
and Claire Cavanah, founders of the $10 million sex toy
biz. They started Babeland in
Seattle because they couldn't
find a sex shop geared to women.
When the store appealed to
people of all orientations, they
expanded to New York and
Los Angeles as well. "We are
lesbians, and that has put a
distinctly queer stamp on the
business;' say the owners. "We
know how important a great
dildo can be, how hot the right
harness can make you feel,
how hard it can be to open up
to a salesperson who may not
know anything about lesbian
sexuality:' (babeland.com)
48
Icurve
Founded:
1985
Employees:
300+
Success
Story:Susan Feniger
and straight ~usiness partner
Mary Sue Milliken opened
City Cafe with four employees
in 1981. They've since made
a name for themselves as the
Too Hot Tamales on the Food
Network and as cookbook
authors. Now, in addition
to Ciudad in Los Angeles,
Border Grill locations in Santa
Monica and Mandalay Bay in
Las Vegas, Feniger, who calls
starting from scratch "reinvigorating,'' has opened Street
(eatatstreet.com). Her latest
venture was inspired in part by
her trips to India, Turkey and
Israel. "We ate from the time
we got up, morning until night;'
says Feniger. (bordergrill.com)
GayYellow
Pases
Founded:
1990
Employees:
6
Success
Story:
Earning more than $2 million a year, the company links
to some of the top LGBT sites
around the country. Founder
Laura Villagran says she
created the Houston-based
corporation with one mission
in mind: "To compile a list of
compassionate, caring, quality
healthcare providers to care for
our gay brothers afflicted with
and dying in record numbers
from HIV/ AIDS:' Today, the
Gay YellowPagespublishes
more than 40 city directories,
featuring hundreds of businesses eager to do business
with the LGBT community.
(gayyellow.com)
Goldenrod
Nusic
Founded:
1975
Employees:
7
Success
Story:In 1975, Terry
Grant sold Meg Christian's
music for Olivia Records at a
concert, then asked a company rep what to do with the
leftovers. When Olivia Records
asked Grant to be a distributor,
she took the remaining music
to local record shops and sold
it out of her car. Goldenrod
Music was born, becoming a
$1 million company distributing music, DVDs and songbooks for artists such as Ani
DiFranco (one of her first distributors), Melissa Etheridge,
Holly Near and many others.
(goldenrod.com)
Halo, Purely
for Pets
Founded:
1986
Employees:
25
Success
Story:''A few years ago,
I was looking for some pet
food for one of my dogs, who
was allergic to everything;'
Ellen DeGeneres has said. "I
found a little company that
had the perfect food for him:'
She bought the food-and
part of the company. Needless
to say, DeGeneres' attachment
was a boost for the holistic pet
care product line started by
Andi Brown. The "all-natural"
cat and dog grub, pet care
6
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books, grooming supplies,
treats and supplements are
available online or through
such stores as PETCO or
Whole Foods Market. (halopets.com)
I went on vacation;' says Judy
Dlugacz. Nearly four decades
ago Dlugacz founded Olivia
Records and 2010 marks the
20th anniversary of the launch
of Olivia cruises, bringing
entertainers to their lesbian
audience. Currently the largest
promoter of lesbian travel in
the world, Olivia makes about
10 trips a year to destinations
from Greece to the Galapagos,
featuring such A-list entertainers as Melissa Etheridge, k.d.
lang, Heart, Margaret Cho,
Whoopi Goldberg and Lily
Tomlin. (olivia.com)
"I was out
my entire
ID
Founded:
1993
Employees:
60+
SuccessStory:Kelly Bush
took the gutsy step of founding ID, a public relations firm,
out of her apartment after
only two years in the business.
i=- Now ID is one of the largest
u:::
<1i independently owned and
g operated flack factories in the
~
1 industry. With offices in Los
~
~ ~ngeles, New York City and
~ London, ID's clients include
S- Natalie Portman, Ellen Page,
~ Ben Stiller, Sean Penn, Tobey
~ Maguire, Dustin Hoffman,
~ Julia Louis-Dreyfus and
~
:§ Rachel Weisz. (id-pr.com)
~
~
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~ Olivia
@
Founded:
1973
Employees:
17
a:
t; SuccessStory:"I was out in my
tr
<I: entire adult life, except when
a:
UJ
Cl)
[jj
adult life,
except when
I was on
vacation."
-Judy Dlusacz,
founder
of OUvia
Wolfe Video
Founded:
1985
Employees:
15
Success
Story:Founder and
CEO Kathy Wolfe is still at
the helm of the company that
she originated as a way to
distribute lesbian films. Today,
the company brings in eight
figures annually, distributing
successful gay and lesbian tides
such as Were the World Mine,
Itty Bitty Titty Committeeand
Loving Annabelle.Company
president Maria Lynn says that
Wolfe continues to expand,
releasing more than 30 tides
in 2009, and offering digital
downloads at iTunes, Amazon
and Netflix. (wolfevideo.com)
R Family Vacations
Founded:
2003
Employees:
6 (plus a trip staff
of about 80)
Success
Story:Kelli O'Donnell
and Gregg Kaminsky founded
the company that has carted
more than 15,000 gay parents,
their children, friends and
extended family on cruises
around the world. R Family
takes one or two big cruises
each year and plans to offer
trips for smaller group as well.
(rfamilyvacations.com)
Yo9aFi1
Founded:
1997
Employees:
65
Success
Story:In a little over
10 years, Beth Shawhas
turned the yoga industry on
its ear-not a bad pose, in
this case. She's trained 90,000
people worldwide, making
YogaFit one of the largest yoga
schools in North America.
Combining yoga techniques
with a workout regimen, the
company took in just under $5
million last year. (yogafit.com)
Tryingto comeup with a comprehensivelist of the Top1OLesbianOwnedCompanies
wasa ridiculous
task.Whatexactly,youmightask,
makesa companya "top ten lesbian
company?"Didwe define"top" by
grossprofits,numberof employees
or yearsin business?
Wasit fair to
comparehugecompanies-likethat
of restauranteer
SUSANFENIGER,
whoemploysover300people-to
a small,six-personoperationlike KELLIO'DONNELL'S
R Family
Vacations?
In the end,we cameaway
with pagesandpagesof amazing lesbian-owned,
-foundedor
-operatedcompaniesfromtravel
guruSHANNON
WENTWORTH's
newcruiseline,Sweetto technopop
culturemavenSARAHWARN's
AfterEllen(nowa part of Logo,a
divisionof Viacom),from LISAC.
MOORE's
RedbonePressto fellow
publisherGINAGATTA's
DamronInc.
(a companythat producesguidebooksfilled with just this: listingsof
greatLGBT-owned
companies!).
Sohowdid we choose?Well,
we wentwith our gut andchose1O
greatcompanieswith a historyof
havingmadea impacton boththe
pocketbooks
andthe livesof queer
womenin their communities.
And
for all thosethat couldn'tmakeit in
print?Westill saluteyou.Goto curvemag.com
andyou'll find moremini
profilesof hoteliers(likeHEATHER
CARRUTHERS
andLESLIELEONELLI,
ownersof Pearl'sRainbowKey
WestResort)andbusinessactivists
(likePAMDERbERIAN
andpartner
NANCYBECKER,
whopartneredwith
MARTINA
NAVRATILOVA
to launch
RainbowCardandwith BILLIEJEAN
KINGto launchGreenSlam).
Andstaytunedfor the nightlife
sectionof our nextissue,where
we get up closeandpersonalwith
with lots of lesbianclub promoters
andbarownersfrom acrossthe
country.As usual,though,we want
to knowwhowe missed.Logon to
curvemag.com
andtell us which
companiesreallyshouldhavemade
ourtop 10 list this year.
rP
T OZ
LptP
pr;cfD
3
4
5
fro111
li an
•• house calls
For Vy Le success is in the details. By Heather Robinson
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
g;
Vy Le is proof that there are many roads to
success. In her case, the road has been steep,
exciting, lacking in formal education and
initiated by a job that many would consider
a last resort-retail.
As a college student,
Le worked at a Gap store, folding, stacking
and selling clothes while she took classes at
San Francisco State University. Though she
was the store's top seller, Le was shocked
to receive a call from the company's CEO,
asking the then 19-year-old for her input
on increasing sales. Soon, she was promoted
off the sales floor and into the corporate
office, but she never lost her instinct for
connecting with people and giving chem
what they want. Now 31, Le is turning her
ferocious work ethic and drive coward
improving healthcare.
"I think, like many ocher industries, healthcare is in need of a major customer service
overhaul. In retail, you're constantly thinking
about the customer ... it transfers over in the
terms of changing the way healthcare thinks
or the way the industry thinks;' says Le.
As chief operations officer at Current
Health in San Francisco, Le is on a mission
to revolutionize healthcare delivery and she
sees room for streamlining and improvement
everywhere she looks. 'Tm very passionate
when people cell me chat it's impossible or
this is the way things are, chis is the way it's
always going to be;' says Le, known around
the office as the "Velvet Hammer;' who has
come up against a lot of resistance in her
campaign to make healthcare more friendly,
accessible and affordable. "You walk into a
room with guys who have pleated pants and
grey hair and you're questioning how they do
things. And you're always asking whY:'
"She's very tough. She's very effective in
getting things done;' says Matt Griffes, a
longtime friend and public relations specialist
for Current Health. "She treats people with
respect and dignicy:'
While at the Gap, Le excelled at discovering what customers wanted and helped
to successfully launch Banana Republic in
Japan. She got into healthcare because she
loves a challenge and thought she could make
a difference.
"I think this is one industry where I, as
a consumer, don't see there is anything out
there, a product offering that meets my
needs. And being in retail, that's your job, to
react to consumer needs immediately:'
Instead of trying to change the system
on a macro level, Current Health is a local
her mother and grandmother, Vietnamese
immigrants who came to the United States
without much money or the ability to speak
English. On a mission to give Le and her
sister a better life, they built a successful
catering company from scratch.
"If I could hire my mom and grandma
to come work with me, I would do so in an
instant, because they don't stop working;•
says Le, who recalls watching her grandmother rolling eggrolls until midnight.
Le has some family goals of her own; she
and her partner, Kristin Sabo, are hoping
to have a baby soon. "I think my only long
term goal right now is becoming a parent;'
she says.
"You walk in1o a room wi1h auys
who have plea1ed pan1s and arey hair
and you•re ques1ionina how 1:hey do
1:hinas. And you•re always askina why."
grassroots solution where, for a small
monthly fee and a cost per visit, the firm
provides members with preventive primary
care that emphasizes connecting the doctor
and patient in as many ways as possible
including house calls, email, text messages
or phone conversations. The focus is on
rebuilding the doctor-patient relationship
that has been so degraded under the current
managed care system. Current Health doctors see only 10 to 15 patients a day and are
encouraged to spend the time to really get
to know each one, talking about their health
concerns and goals.
Though Le says she had amazing mentors in business, her true inspirations are
Optimistic by nature, Le does not see
the current economic situation as a purely
doom-and-gloom scenario.
"Those looking to get into business-wow,
the world's your oyster. I chink there's a ton of
opportunities now. I mean, from 10 years ago,
versus today, it's like, an amazing amount of
opportunity through marketing businesses;•
she says. For chose who have been laid-off or
otherwise hie by the economic downturn her
best advice is to stay busy.
And to graduates just entering the job
market she says, "Travel as much as possible.
See as much as possible. And, you know,
look for opportunities to learn from-smart,
passionate individuals:' ■
October 2009
I51
These lesbian business owners prove it's all about passion. By Beth Dreher
Bonnie Cooley is a self-confessed coffee shop
junkie. When the 50-year-old and her partner, Sarah Taylor, 45, travel, their first stop in
any new town is for a cup of the local brew.
But it's not just the buzz they seek. For them,
the experience is more ethereal."Coffee shops
are relaxing to my soul-and exciting at the
ries with me and dreams with me:'
That's a sentiment echoed by Shelley
Anderson, 46, the owner of an eventplanning franchise in San Diego, Cali£,
called One Hour Parties, about her partner, Roseann DeMartino, 54. "Roseann has
a career separate from my business;' says
A love of kids brought Tedra Bonner, 35,
and Shelli Kargela, 46, together five years
ago. The pair, who have owned a My Gym
Children's Fitness Center franchise in Eden
Prairie, Minn., since 2004, met while Bonner
was working for the company as a trainer
and Kargela was a gym director. As the name
same time;' says Cooley. "Coffee rejuvenates
me, even without the caffeine:•
And what better way is there for Cooley
to find that feeling of simple goodness on a
daily basis than to own a coffee shop or two
herself? "That is my passion;' says Cooley,
who owns Bearclaw Coffee Co. in Jackson,
Mich. Cooley says she "loves providing a nice
place for people to go:• And when she does
the very un-Zenlike grunt work of hauling
chairs, promoting events and making gift
baskets for the shops, she doesn't do it singlehandedly. Taylor pitches in, too. "I own the
business, on paper;' says Cooley, "but Sarah is
extremely involved and supportive. She wor-
Anderson. Despite this, Anderson says she
provides a great deal of support and spends
several hours a week helping out with delivering supplies, staffing events and developing
their marketing database.
Cooley and Anderson are only two of nearly
1 million lesbian and gay entrepreneurs in the
United States, according to the National Gay
and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. They
are part of an LGBT community that will
have $835 billion of purchasing power by
201 L But more importantly, the women represent a cadre of lesbian franchise and business owners who are finding success through
passion for their vocations.
implies, My Gym helps kids ages 13 and
younger get active through weekly dance,
relay and gymnastics classes.
"We both love children and we both love
My Gym;' says Bonner. "My Gym kids have
so much fun as they gain strength, balance,
coordination, fine and gross motor proficiency, agility, flexibility and social skills. The
most important benefit we offer, however, is
the building of confidence and self-esteem:'
But, she adds, "The greatest reward is the
positive impact we have on families and children on a daily basis:•
Community impact drives Sece Foster,
42, and her partner, Kimberly Nash, 44,
52
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"Our business crea-tes a aood balance for us,"
says franchise owner Sece Fos1er. "And i1's
a area1 al1erna1ive 10 -the corpora1e ra1 race."
too. They used their backgrounds in sales
to found Bingo Lingo, a home~based pub~
lishing company that caters to the charity
bingo gaming industry. "We print bingo
guides at no cost to the organizations, help
raise money for their causes and make a nice
profit through selling advertising space with
an easy choice for us:' And the business has
really taken flight: In three y~ars, the store has
grown by 50 percent, and is one of the top
stores in North America, reports Schmauss.
There's no question that business sense,
passion and hard work are largely responsible
for the successes enjoyed by Anne Schmauss,
high~level staff at the franchise and we have
always felt entirely welcome;' she says. "There
are quite a number of gay and lesbian Wild
Birds Unlimited store owners and we have
not only been supportive of one another,
but feel supported by the franchise staff and
other store owners:'
our publications;' says Foster. Since creating
the business 10 years ago, the duo has gone
onto franchise it out to other savvy sales~
people. "Our business creates a good balance
for us;' says Foster. 'i\nd it's a great alterna~
Tedra Bonner and the others, but the women
can only go so far on their own moxie-at
least while corporate culture still reeks of its
own "don't ask, don't tell" sensibility. Luckily,
that's a travesty these lesbians don't have to
endure, thanks to the open~mindedness of
their parent companies.
For My Gym franchise owner Bonner, her
lesbianism has never been an issue. "There
are other openly gay owners within the fran~
chise;' says Bonner. "It's never really come up
in conversation. Were treated with the same
respect as all of the other franchisees:'
The same goes for Schmauss and Wild
Birds Unlimited. "There are openly gay,
But coffee shop owner Bonnie Cooley
remembers vividly the nervousness she felt
about sharing her sexual orientation with
her staff. "I mentioned my concern to the
[parent] company owners;' says Cooley.
'i\nd she said, 'If that's a problem for any
staff member in any of my stores, they're
not a good fit for our company: That type of
response has happened often enough that I
finally relaxed and believed it:' ■
tive to the corporate rat race:'
You could say Mother Nature brought
partners Anne Schmauss and Dawn Graber,
both 49, together. The duo, who love all things
outdoors-especially
birds-own
a thriving
franchise Wild Birds Unlimited in Santa Fe,
N.M. "I come from a long line of business
people;' says Schmauss."Our mutual desire to
open a store and the fact that my sister loved
the Wild Birds [outlet] she owned made it
To find out about more
open-minded companies
visit gayfranchise.com
October 2009
I53
s this brewery worker
e the perfect job?
Ina Swislocki
bjkeSand
boo1s
Meredith Giske, director of the Vibe Squad
at New Belgium Brewing Company, makers
of the lesbian-cool Fat Tire, isn't sure how she
feels about being in curve. "I don't want to
be defined by my sexuality;1 she says. "I don't
want to be defined by it but I want to inform
people. I want people to become more comfortable with my sexuality simply so they can
become more accepting people and the world
can become a more accepting place:'
According to Giske, New Belgium runs on
that attitude as well, living its ideals without
forcing them onto anyone. For the Fort Collins,
Colo.-based brewery that translates into running a sustainable operation-it
is the first
wind-powered brewery in the United States,
and it adopted the bike for its logo because
it's an iconic symbol of sustainability. New
Belgium's focus on beer, bikes and sustainability made it the perfect place for Giske to
work when she stumbled into the job opportunity just out of college. After bartending for
a few years (as so many do) Giske got to know
a few of the sales reps at New Belgium and
they hired her. Within nine months, she was
working as marketing manager, in a low-key
version of the job she's doing now.
Giske's official title is "Captain of the Vibe
Squad;' which she defines in less descriptive
terms as "relational brand manager:' As the de
facto leader of the marketing department, she
manages "all those folks who get to play with
people face to face:' She's in charge of sponsorships and branding and, most exciting, festivals-including the infamous Tour de Fat.
The Tour is "the most glamorous, fun, timeconsuming piece of my job;' says Giske. "I've
been part of the Tour de Fat since its conception. It was the idea of our marketing director
and sales director in the back yard over the
beer, and I've taken that and grown it into an
11 city celebration of the bicycle that last year
was over a million dollars of philanthropy:'
Bragging rights aside, Giske appreciates her
job because it doesn't tie her to a desk. "Every
54 I curve
Saturday out of the summer I get to get
dressed up in go-go boots and short skirts and
bustiers and [I'm] running around to different
cities talking about the power of the bike. If it
was just about the beer I probably wouldn't be
working here anymore, but I'm lucky enough
to be working for a corporation that genuinely wants to leave the world a better place.
It's one thing to like the place you work and
bring home a paycheck, it's a totally different
thing to feel like you're contributing to positive
change. And I get to do it in go-go boots:'
This job is perfect for Giske, not just
because of its responsibilities or the activities
she gets to spearhead, but because it aligns so
closely to her personal values.
"Work and life complement each other;' she
says, because they're both about transparency
and authenticity. She is proud of the fact that
she's been able to live her life "pretty authentically. It's part of when I get rambley about
New Belgium-that's
what I love about the
brewery. The company is transparent. Its
actions are derived from its ideals. I think I
live my life that way. Whether it's living out of
the closet or standing up for what I believe in
on any level, I've worked over my life to live in
a way that is transparent. You're going to get
the real deal:'
Giske has been this way all her life."I didn't
come out until I was in my early 20s, and I
don't ever remember feeling like I was in a
closer;' she says, acknowledging how lucky
she was to have supportive friends and family.
'Tm one of those folks who has never been a
soap boxer and I'm not always drawn to folks
that are. In my mind, the best way I can draw
people in and make them comfortable with
the lifestyle that I'm living is by just living it
transparently and honestly and not being
aggressive. Hopefully I set an example in my
day-to-day as a real, approachable woman
living a lesbian life that doesn't need to put
that front and center:'
As for success, she says, well, it's all subjective. "It's how you envision· it. For me it's based
on being proud of what I do and going to
sleep happy about it:' ■
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On one Friday night, over 500 stylishly
dressed queer women sipped exotic drinks
like lychee martinis at the Asia Society, a
museum on the tony Upper East Side of
Manhattan. The event, sponsored by sev~
eral gay organizations, was focused on
queer networking.
Amidst
icebreakers
that asked women to name what animal
they were most like, and tours of the
latest exhibits, there was an undertone of
serious concern. Queer professionals, like
workers around the country, are very con~
cerned about their job security.
As the economy continues to plummet,
lesbian networking events are on the rise.
Women in New York are at a distinct ad van~
rage. In a mere three~month span this year,
there were at least five events to pick from.
Between OP. LYNX, the women's chapter
of Out Professionals (a social and busi~
ness networking organization); Financial
Services Industry Exchange or FSIX ( a gay
financial nonprofit organization); and The
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender
Community Center, there are a number of
different kinds of events to attend, ranging
from seminars to mixers.
At one women's breakfast network~
ing group, part of OP. LYNX, about 20
women meet twice a month at the offices of
Northwestern Mutual, where Mindi Wernick,
one of the group's cofounders works.
"I realized it was time to focus in on a
market that I would have more in common
with;' says Wernick.
The other co~founder
Julien
Sharp,
founder of Srylo Creative Communications,
agrees: "Developing lasting relationships and
social capital is the absolute best way for an
entrepreneur to grow a business, especially
in these economic times. If I have a chance to
refer business to an LGBT or LGBT~friendly
company, you bet I am going to do ir:'
The second meeting that month began
with brief introductions and then quickly
shifted to a presentation given by Sharp, on
using online networking platforms to grow
one's business. Networking is ,not the only
draw to these meetings. Lesbians are also
seeking out these events because it's a place
they can feel comfortable being open about
their personal lives.
"I feel like I've been isolated-when
I
am out in the world, I can never discuss
being gay and it's a huge part of who I am.
It's a relief;' says Nina Simon, founder of
Renaissance Renovations, a renovation and
remodeling company.
Being open about one's life can also lead
to more success in networking. "When you
can be completely honest, you can connect
more and build trusting relationships. And
that's the foundation for being able to refer
business;' says Wernick.
Often lesbians want to network within
the community because they have issues
that only other members of the community
can understand. Wernick points out that
lesbians often feel comfortable talking to
her about life insurance and estate planning
because it involves giving specifics on family
structure.
Financial matters are of special interest to
the queer community. Gay couples face par~
ticular issues regarding taxes, i.e. gift taxes,
income taxes and estate taxes. This can be
viewed as a positive for a gay professional
trying to build a business. "I was getting a lot
of business from the gay community, mostly
from referrals. It seemed to be important to
lesbians and gays to work with a professional
who understood their issues and could
relate to them on a personal level;' says Tina
Salandra, a CPA, who atterided the morning
networking meeting.
Sometimes, though, during evening events
where alcohol is involved, the line between
professional networking and socializing
becomes blurred. Some women's motives for
coming to events become more focused on
finding a girlfriend than finding a job.
"It was the most stellar collection of out
power lesbians that I have ever encountered.
But they all met under the guise of profes~
sional networking whereas really it was social
networking;' says Karen Harnesk, a designer
who attended the Asia Society event.
Elizabeth Perea, a business development
and communication consultant, disagrees:
"Networking at a lesbian event gives me a
chance to reach out to business women in my
community and that means a lot to me. It's an
opportunity to see what work other women
are involved in and to support one another:'
Maybe the personal and professional go
hand in hand.
"I do think in the gay community there
is often an added personal component,
more so than in hetero networking," says
Elaine Arabatzis, a lawyer who attended the
FSIXevent.
Whatever their motivation, women are
flocking to these events in droves-in New
York and around the country. 'At the recent
FSIX event we must have had 1,000 RSVPs;'
says Cami Capasso, one of the board mem~
bers of FSIX.
More wallflower than power player:' No
fret. Last April, Lisa Linsky (a partner in the
law firm of McDermott Will and Emery) and
Jennifer Brown (founder of Jennifer Brown
Consulting) advised women on how to net~
work with confidence-a
workshop at the
NY LGBT Community Center, designed for
shy women who are unsure how to go about
networking. Attendance was, as you guessed,
popular with the ladies. ■
October 2009
I 55
REVIEWSMusic Watch
The New Retro
This month's picks are bringing back that '70s sound. By Margaret Coble
Forsomeone
whosings
the blues,CandyeKane's
newCDSuperhero
(Delta
Groove)
suredoescheer
meup-and I promiseit'll
cheeryouupaswell.A
wildlypopular,
sexy,bawdy
queerperformer,
Kanehas
hada difficultyear-she
wasdiagnosed
with a rare
formof pancreatic
cancerin
2008-which mightexplain
whyall the songsonthis
albumareaboutfightingback
andlookingup.Theindescribablygoodtitletrackamazes
meeverytimeI listento it.
WhichI thinkI will godoagain
rightnow.Evenif you'renota
bluesaficionado,
keepin mind
that,Superhero
is almost
enoughto makethisawkward
butchgetupanddance-errr,
almost.(candykane.com)
[KelliDunham]
56
Icurve
Newcomers Diane Birch and Leslie Mendelson, as
well as longtime lesbian fave Maia Sharp, are singersongwriters bringing back the classic radio sounds of
the '70s in a fresh new way.
BibleBelt,DianeBirch(S-Curve):
The first time I listened to this album, I was scratching my head trying
to place the voice. I could have sworn I'd not only
heard it before, but had also loved it. Which female
pop icon from the '70s was it? Carole King? Laura
Nyro? Or some women's music star I'd forgotten? It
sounded so familiar, yet the production was so fresh.
Rarely does a CD elicit such a strong response from
me on the first listen. I had to find out who Diane
Birch was. Turns out, she's a 26-year-old piano-playing
pastor's daughter who traveled the world as a child
due to her father's ministry, and spent her teen years
in Portland, Ore. Now, this stunning debut recording
has catapulted her to instant star status, and for good
reason. Bold, vintage, sounds and strong melodies
abound, from the gospel-Motown flavored opener
"Fire Escape" to the hand-clapping fun of"Valentino"
and the upbeat revival blues of "Rise Up:' The radioready "Fools" and "Nothing But A Miracle" are reminiscent of Carly Simon and grabbed me from the
get-go, and so did the Elton John-flavored sing-along
''Ariel:' I can't stop listening! (s-curverecords.com)
SwanFeathers,
LeslieMendelson
(Rykodisc):
Drawing
from the same general pool of influences as Birch, but
with a softer, more understated touch, this up-andcoming New York singer-songwriter debuts with an
equally impressive set that's warm and inviting. As
the daughter of a music teacher, music was something Leslie Mendelson excelled at from a young
age, and by 2002, she'd moved to New York City and
made inroads to Manhattan's downtown music scene.
Now, Swan Feathersis sure to get her noticed nationally. With a bright, airy voice and sparse but precise
instrumentation, songs like "So Far So Bad" and
"Turn It Over" recall the sassiness of Carly Simon,
while others like "Easy Love" and Mendelson's
touching remake of the Phil Spector-penned
Ronnettes hit "Be My Baby" are more introspective
and mellow. The emotion and exuberance of the jazzy
"Hit The Spot" and more rockin"'I See Myself With
You" make this an obvious hit, while the sentimental
opener "I Know You Better Than That" is a personal
fave. (rykodisc.com)
Echo,MaiaSharp(Crooked
Crown):I've covered Maia
Sharp in this column before, and I'll keep doing so
as long as the out singer-songwriter keeps producing
amazing records. Long known for her songwriting skills-she's supplied the Dixie Chicks, Bonnie
!
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~
Cooler Than Kumbaya
There'snothinglikea screaming
ampanda boomingsetof drumsto makeyoufeellike
all thingsarerightin theworld.Whether
you'repullingyourbassoutof thegarageand
sprayingupthatMohawkor weavingflowersintoyourhairandstrumming
youracoustic,
thereis a placefor you.
Theoriginalrockcampfor girlswasstartedbyMistyMcElroyin 2001in Portland
Ore.
Todaythe Rock'n' RollCampfor Girls(girlsrockcamp.org)
is runbyfourwomenandit's
still rockin'withsummercampsaswellasanafterschool
programfor girlsage8 to 18.
Theyalsooffera LadiesRockCampthatrunsOct.23-25.Manyothercampsstartedlater,
sproutinguparoundthecountry,offeringsimilarprograms
wheregirlsformbandsand
performat theendof thecampsession.
Campers
alsolearnzinemaking,posterdesign,
performance
skills,rockhistory,martialartsandmorein a supportive
environment.
The
Institutefor MusicalArtsin Massachusetts,
anotherwell-knowncamp,focusesmore
strictlyon musicinstruction,
songwriting
andrecording
and,withgroundbreaking
guitarist
JuneMillingtonat the helm,that'snosurprise.
All of thecampsfor womenareassociated
witha girl'scamp,usuallyasa vehiclefor
raisingmoney.Womencamperschooseaninstrument,
forma band,writea songandthen
performit. Channel
yourinnerChrissie
Hyndeevenif you'veneverhelda guitar.It's all
abouttheattitude-andthevolume.
Areyoumoreintothe IndigoGirlsthanCourtney
Love?If so,therearefourmusiccamps
for you.Acousticcampsofferinstruction
ona plethoraof instruments
(bucketdrumming
anyone?)
andlotsof singingin a varietyof environments,
fromcushylodgesto rustic
campgrounds.
It's likegirl scoutcamp-exceptyoudon'thaveto
waituntilthe counselors
areasleepif youwantto kissthatcute
banjoplayer.
Althoughyoumayattenda women'smusicfestivaljustto hear
performances,
manyalsooffermusicinstructional
workshops,
fromguitarwieldingskillsto writingtheperfectsong.Forexample,
the 2009Michigan
Womyn'sMusicFestival
offeredweek-long
workshops
in drummingandrecording.
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Raitt, Cher, Trisha Yearwood and many
others with hits-Sharp
has been making
a name for herself as an artist, too. This
fifth solo effort adds to that endeavor,
with strong cuts like the rebellious pop
ditty "Polite Society" and twangy radio
single, "John Q. Lonely" leading the way,
while the soaring love song "Whole Flat
World" is by far my favorite song on the
12-cut disc. Her sound is more countryblues leaning, like her mentor Raitt, and
often recalls other country-pop singersongwriters like Mary Chapin Carpenter,
but her solid songwriting chops recall the
best of the '70s writers like Joni Mitchell
and Carole King. (maiasharp.com)■
ROCK
CAMPSFORGIRLS
Girls'RockCamp(ATL)
Atlanta
girlsrockcampatl.org
GirlsRock!DC
Washington,
D.C.
girlsrockdc.org
GirlsRockPhilly
Philadelphia
girlsrockphilly
.org
GirlzRhythm
andRockCamp
Columbus,
Ohio
girlzrhythmnrockcamp.com
Southern
GirlsRoe~
andRollCamp
Murfreesboro,
Tenn.
sgrrc.com
ROCK
CAMPSFOR
WOMEN
&GIRLS
BayAreaGirlsRockCamp
Oakland,
Galif.
bayareagirlsrockcamp.org
WillieMaeRockCampforGirls
andLadiesRockCamp
Brooklyn,
N.Y.
williemaerockcamp.org
Institute
forMusicalArts
Goshen,
Mass.
ima.org
GirlsRock!Chicago
Chicago
girlsrockchicago.org
GirlsRockCampAustin
Austin,Texas
girlsrockcampaustin.org
-
~~
GirlsRockNC
Carrboro,
N.C.
girlsrocknc.org
GirlsRockU.K.
London
girlsrockuk.org
RC4G
CampforGirls
Ontario,
Canada
rc4gpeterborough.com
Girts Rock NC
ACOUSTIC
CAMPS
FORWOMEN
FromWomen's
HeartsandHands
Mendocino,
Calif.
womensheartsandhands.com
Northwest
Women's
MusicCelebration
Gresham,
Ore.
motherlodemusic.com/
nwmc.html
Summersing
Helena,
Mont.
judyfjell.com
WomenMakingMusic
Healdsburg,
Calif.
womamu.org
fl
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AboutLove
Plastiscines
(Nylon)
CuCuland
CuCuDiamantes
(TommyBoy)
TheWoodstock
Experience
JanisJoplin
(Legacy)
QuerelleEP
thecocknbullkid
(IAMSOUND)
Theall-girlFrench
rockersarebackwitha
newsetof jangly,indie
punktunesthatrecall
everyone
fromLeTigre
to JoanJettto early
Blondie-largelyin
Englishthistime.The
numbersmostlikelyto
headcritics'picklists
arethe defiant"Bitch"
andthecatchyopener
"I CouldRobYou."Pure
poppunkenjoyment.
(nylonrecords.
com)
TheformerVerba
Buenafroiltwoman
strikesoutonher
ownwithaneccentric
andstylish1a-track
setthat'sequalparts
downtownManhattan
hipsterfunkandold
schoolCubanvocal
jazz.Bighorns,lotsof
Latinpercussion
and
guitarandDiamantes'
seductive
andsassy
voicecombineto festive resultsthroughout.
(tommyboy.
com)
AnitaBlay,aka
Celebrating
the40th
thecocknbullkid,
is
anniversary
of the
the heirapparent
to
concertthatchanged the hipstersynththeworld,Legacyhas popfanaticismthat
released
fiveclassic
propelled
Santigold
to
albumsbyWoodstock worldwidestardom.
headliners,
pairedwith Mixingthe musical
theirliveperformances.huesof the U.K.grime
ForJoplin,it's I Got
soundwiththe pop
DemOf'KozmicBlues sensibilityof '80snew
AgainMama!plus
wave,cutslike"Kiss
herlive10-songset
KissKill"sportskitfeaturingthreeprevteringdrummachine
iouslyunissued
songs. beats,boldsynthsand
(legacyrecordings.
com) sweetmelodies.
(iamsound
records.
com)
October 2009
J
57
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Past, Presentand Future
These books explore homophobia and growing up gay. By Rachel Pepper
Sarah Schulman continues to both guide and critique
•our community and Ariel Schrag's collected cartoons
will be a comfort to queer teens everywhere.
TheTiesThatBindand TheMereFuture,
SarahSchulman
(TheNewPress,ArsenalPulpPress):
Sarah Schulman's
BloodDazzler,Patricia
writing career spans the canon of contemporary
Smith{CoffeeHouse):
Smith
becamea NationalBook queer literature and includes many novels, several
Awardfinalistwiththissear- works of non-fiction, plays and a full roster of articles
published in newspapers and magazines. Schulman is
ingcollectionof poems,which
chronicle
the devastation
of
the recipient of several LGBT awards, including the
Hurricane
Katrinabyweaving 2009 Kessler Prize, for her sustained contribution to
togethervividdepictions
of
lesbian and gay studies. A writer who has also played
the physicalandspiritual
a pivotal role in the cultural and political spheres
crisisthestormbroughtwith
of the gay community, Schulman's publishing path
a clear-eyed
indictmentof
politicalandbureaucratic reflects both where we have come from and where
we're headed. Indeed, cartoonist Alison Bechdel
culpability.
Thepoemsfollow
recently wrote that Schulman was like a "moral comthe pathof the stormfrom
its earliestgatherings
as
pass" for her, and many appreciate Schulman's fortia tropicaldepression
over
tude in dealing with topics like queer marriage and
the Bahamas
to its hellish custody battles among lesbian parents. In her newest
paththroughNewOrleans
work of non-fiction, The Ties That Bind, she writes
andthe humanandurban
about the effects of homophobia on the communal
ghostsit left hoveringin its
gay
psyche, expands on an earlier dialogue she'd had
wake.Smithgivesvoiceto
with
NCLR'.s executive director Kate Kendell about
Katrina'svillains,victimsand
survivors,
andherlovefor
lesbian custody battles and takes some interesting
the cityshinesthroughthe
twists on gay marriage. Schulman writes, "Gay mar- heroine copes with her drifting lover, a father and his
storm:"AndI crawl/ through riage does not so much protect the couple from the two sons wrestle with their addictions and familial
upturnedrooms,humming State as it protects the couple from each other. It is
loss, a privileged heterosexual white male named
gospel,/closingtiredeyes
a third-party acknowledgement and recognition that
Harrison Bond and an undiscovered woman artist
againstmyhome's/languid
people
who
have
shared
love
have
basic
responsibilinamed
Glick grapple with their legacies. As the plot
rhythmsof rot,begging/ my
ties
toward
each
other:'
takes
us
further into the realm of a not-so-distant
newhistoryto holdstill."
The newly released The Mere Future, a futuristic
(coffeehousepress.
org)
future, Schulman continues to intertwine her set
[JuliaBloch] novel Schulman began in 1999, also explores the of unlikely characters as they reach toward a single,
themes that she is best known for, including the unavoidable and startling conclusion. ( thenewpress.
effects of familial and societal homophobia on us as a com, arsenalpulp.com)
community and on our adult love relationships, and
queer people's place in consumer culture. A native Likewise,Ariel Schrag (Touchstone):
This lesbian
New Yorker, Schulman places the city squarely at cartoonist has come into her own recently, in part
the forefront of much of her writing and in The Mere due to the breakout success of Alison Bechdel's
Future, New York takes on a new dimension when well-reviewed Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic a
the city's Mayor ushers in a new age called "The Big few years back. Nipping on her heels was a cadre of
Change" which boasts a bounty of affordable housother cartoonists, including Ariel Schrag, a name
ing, independently owned stores and a lack of public curve readers might recognize from her stint as a
advertising. However, the novel's main character, a screenwriter for the third and fourth seasons of The
lesbian slogan writer for the omnipresent marketL Word. Before this, Schrag, who is in her late 20s,
ing firm Media Hub, and her lover Nadine, begin to was a self-published teenage cartoonist in Berkeley,
question what is really behind the big change. As our Cali£ Her comics, which she originally handed
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Jennifer L. Jordan
A recipient of the 2008 Alice B. Med~ for
lesbian fiction, Jennifer L. Jordan published
her most recent novel, If No One's Looking, as
the seventh book in her mystery series starring the indomitable Kristin Ashe. While the
mainstream might not pay much attention,
lesbian readers have fallen in love with her
complex characters and addictive storylines.
As for Jordan, who says that writing lesbian
novels is all she's ever wanted to do, the
queer niche fits perfectly_:__fornow.
Doyouwantto breakintothemainstream?
Several years ago, I spent a ton of time and
effort trying to land a New York literary
agent for a mainstream mystery series I'd
written. I came very, very close, I think, but
no contract. Yet, even as I sent each query
letter, I had mixed feelings about what I was
out to just her friends and family, were
then picked up as graphic novels by Slave
Labor Graphics while Schrag was still in
high school. This success catapulted her to
an early, albeit limited, teenage fame as a
cartoonist. Her graphic novels, all depicting
a single year at school, Awkward, Definition,
Potential (currently being made into a film
by Rose Troche with screenplay by Schrag),
and now Likewise, are all being reprinted
by major publisher Touchstone and will
likely find a wider audience as a result.
Schrag is extremely honest in capturing the
crushes, coming out (first as bi and then as
a lesbian), love affairs, friendships, drugs,
rock concerts, teachers of import, parental
relationships, masturbatory fantasies and
general angst of teenage life. Growing up
as a lesbian in Berkeley, however, means
that Likewise also has some interesting
local moments interspersed, such as dildo
shopping at the well-known San Francisco
sex shop Good Vibrations. Schrag's depth
of form also explodes beyond the typical
cartoon format. Employing different artistic
and narrative styles, she draws on a large
sphere of outside influences to shape her
voice. Schrag has added significantly to the
repertoire that will help define and give
comfort to the future generation of queer
teens. (simonandschuster.com) ■
doing. How did I want to make
the most impact in the world:'
As a lesbian novelist.
How could I ever have hopes
of making more than $500 a
year writing fiction:' As a mainstream novelist. I railed against this reality for a long time
but that didn't get me anywhere. For the
moment, I've shelved the series until I can
gain more perspective. At some point, I'll
probably either approach a lesbian publisher
or send the manuscripts to a small mystery
press. Or, maybe I'll try querying a few more
New York agents. Who knows:'
Doeswritingforlesbians
makea greaterimpact?
As a lesbian writer, writing lesbian novels
filled with lesbian characters, I'm capturing a moment in time and leaving behind a
permanent record of who we are and how we
TheCosmopolitan
DonnaStonecipher
(CoffeeHouse)
BodyClock
EleniSikelianos
(CoffeeHouse)
Stonecipher
hassaid
shethinksof the
poem"withoutline
breaks,"as more
fuguethanprose,and
herbook-length
work
readsalmostlikea
newspaper
serial,one
thatgivesthe reader
spaceto reflecton
eachindividualpiece
beforemovingon.This
book,a winnerof the
NationalPoetrySeries,
feelsat timeslikea
paeanto everyday
experience,
evenwhen
it depictsthestrangeor
extraordinary.
(coffee
housepress.
org)
Motherhood
hasoften
beenthe subjectof
contemporary
poetry,
butit hasrarelybeen
dealtwithso inwardly.
Sikelianos's
laserprecisepoemsusethe
spaceof the pageas
a vast,multilayered
canvasonwhichto
confrontthe interface
of the body'sclock
withthe restof the
world's.Herbook's
engagement
with
the experience
of
pregnancy
tracesthe
intimateconnections
betweenlanguage
and
thecreationof newlife.
(coffeehousepress.
org)
live. As a mainstream mystery
writer, although my stories
might have the same psychological depth, they wouldn't
have the same impact.
Whatwriterswereyoumostexcitedabout
whenyoustarted?
I loved the Laura Laurano mystery series, by
Sandra Scoppettone. After I finish reading
books, I usually donate them to libraries.
Scoppettone's are the only novels I've ever
kept.
Doyoureadlesbianauthorsnow?
Ever since I became intensely committed to
writing, I've virtually stopped reading. The
only lesbian author I read on a regular basis
is Val McDermid. I wait for years, then
buy four or five of her books at once.
[Catherine
Plato]
If I CouldWriteThis
in Fire
MichelleCliff
(University
of MN)
Thisnewcalleetionof essaysbythe
acclaimed
Jamaican
American
writeris a
powerfulmeditation
on
a life ledat the intersectionsof national,
ethnicandsexual
boundaries.
Bornin
British-ruled
Jamaica,
Cliffhaswrittenfrequentlyon postcolonial
identity,buthernew
bookis a startlingly
personal
approach
to
the issues,toldthrough
herexperiences
living
in Jamaica,England
andthe UnitedStates.
(upress.
umn.edu)
Humming
theBlues
CassDalglish
(Calyx)
Dalglish,
journalist
turnedwomen'sstudiesprofessor,
spent
morethan1Oyears
studyingSumerian
and
Akkadiancuneiform
(avisualformof
writingdatingback
to the 30thcentury
BCE)
to discoverearly
formsof women's
literature.Hernew
volume,inspiredby
Enheduanna's
"Song
to lnanna,"infusesthe
tracesof thisancient
textwith herownjazz
riffsandinnovates
on
feministmythology
for
a modernage.(calyx
press.org)
October 2009
I 59
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Be ond Narrativeand Name
Two films undo conventional ideas of being "real." By Candace Moore
AgathaChristie'sMarple
Series4 {AcornMedia):In
anagewhereevensmartgirls
andass-kicking
broadson
TVhaveto bebombshell
hot
(thinkDoi/house,
Terminator,
Criminal
Minds,Numb3rs),
there'ssomething
reassuring
aboutDameAgatha'sspinster
sleuth,MissMarple.Sure
Marple(playedpitch-perfectly
byJulieMcKenzie,
whoyou
mightrecognize
fromthe
lesbianthrillerNotesona
Scanda~
is ladylikein all her
tweedyglory,butwitha razor- These festival favorites explore how to slash the
sharpmindandbluntdelivery,
nets binding our sexual and gender identities. Whos
she'salsoa formidable
foeto
Afraid of Kathy Acker memorializes one writer's
the badguys.Bonuspoints:
GueststarsincludeJoan fuck-you to narrative conventions, while Against A
CollinsandSamantha
Bond. Trans Narrative stages fictional trans confessions and
(acornonline.com)
[Diane conversations to expose stereotypes about gender
Anderson-Minshall] transitions.
Capturing her demise during a time when she still
rocked leather pants, piercings and tats, this film
presents a new dawn, an opening. The film's fragments are like Acker's innate queerness-tough
and
sweet, joyous and perverse, funny and sad-expressions that cannot survive being strictly polarized or
labeled. In one hilarious scene, a woman reads her
the anti-porn riot act while Acker sits quietly (and
Who'sAfraidof KathyAcker(WomenMake Movies): loudly) across from her in a punked-out black and
Barbara Caspar's playful film bio of postmodern dar- white getup, orange hair and fierce eyeliner. Acker
ling Kathy Acker borrows the foul-mouthed writer's doesn't scowl or retort; she just examines her interquotational style and-true
to Acker's punk aes- locutor pityingly, as if she were some unknown species
thetic and narrative burglary-pirates
documentary
that hasn't been screwed enough. (wmm.com)
clips that she filmed throughout her career. Added
to the mix are porn clips and animated characters AgainstA TransNarrative(Wolfe):Filmmaker Jules
(Acker's narrators) whose facial expressions shake Rosskam lulls viewers into what first appears (espeand fluctuate from surly to submissive, overlaid with cially to those uninitiated in trans theory) to be
Acker's bullying and erotic prose read in dead-pan
"authentic" direct-address interviews with FTM
style. Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf? ( the famous trans folk, their partners and friends. These discusplay and film) closes at dawn after its characters have sions look and play like the low budget documentary
experienced a dizzying range of emotions, while this we're probably expecting to see. They are expertly
doc signs off with Acker's untimely death of cancer coupled with wooden, after school special-style
in 1997. Having personally studied with Acker in the scenes of trans men trying to obtain health care from
early '90s, I know that although she fought her death doctors who express compassion and understanding
through alternative practices and faith, she also saw while obviously lacking in both. We quickly realize,
crossing into a realm beyond language (and even the however, that we're experiencing something other
physical body) as essential when approaching "nirvana:' than cinema verite when newer interview subjects
60
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For 27 years, Penn
State women's basketball coach Rene
Portland's policy
of "no drinking, no
drugs and no lesbians;' forced athletes
to choose between
the sport they lived
for and the people
they loved. Training
Rules, a featurelength documentary by Dee Mosbacher
(trainingrules.com), examines the devastating impact this policy had on the student
athletes who played for her-during their
playing days and beyond. This welkrafted,
emotionally charged film is moving audiences-straight and gay-across the country.
Cindy Davies (above), an early target of
coach Portland's discrimination, is one of
the women featured in the film.
Whatwasyourfirstimpression
of Rene
Portland?
I was very impressed with her. My opinion
of her as a coach, in her coaching strategies
and so forth, has never changed. I think
she's a great coach. She has some major
flaws, obviously.
Howdidbeingkickedofftheteamaffectyou?
Once I relinquished that scholarship and
was forced off the team, I thought it
was all over. My whole life was ruined
in my eyes.
Whatdidshesay?
She said, "It's either Donna or basketball-you make the choice. I don't
know if it's true or untrue, but if I find
out that [it]is true, there's nothing to
stop me from going to the university,
the media and to your parents:' I was
like a deer in the headlights.
Whydoyouthinkthisfilmis important?
I've had 27 years to think about this
and, you know, I had always said that all it's
going to take is one student athlete that
has a supportive family and they're going to
have a lawsuit that they're not going to lose.
And it took 27 years for somebody to do it.
But every year you would see someone leaving for "academic reasons:' It just killed me
not to do something about it. But 20 years
ago, what the hell were you going to do?
There weren't the support systems that there
are now. It's important
to get this out there,
because Penn State
is not the only place.
There are plenty of
other people who don't
want [lesbians] on their
team either. But they
don't come out and say
it in the newspapers.
[Heather
Robinson]
spout some of the same exact lines as
trans men we have heard from previously.
Then, the cast of FTM interviewees are
shown watching and commenting on the
scene reenactments from the sidelines.
Reminiscent of Marlon Riggs' Tongues
Untied or Cheryl Dunye's The Watermelon
Woman, Against A Trans Narrative adapts
the conventions of the documentary in
order to better critique stabilized notions
of identity. This super smart film presents
the quandary of gathering a group of individuals to represent trans identity (when
trans is about destroying categories) and
exposes how other members of the queer
community often project onto the transgender experience. (wolfereleasing.com)
■
OffAndRunning
{ITVS)
AskNot
{Persistant
Visions)
Champion
{Blowfish)
Laughing
Matters
...
NextGeneration
{Ariztical
Doesit matterwhether Entertainment)
Namedbestdocumen- Fromlesbianporn
crucialintelligence
is
taryfeatureat Outfest, directorShineLouise
translated
by
a
gay
AndreaMyerson
has
Houston
(Superfreak)
OffAndRunning
follinguist?According
to
madeherLaughing
lowsAvery,anAfrican comesa narrative
film aboutrisingMMA "Don'tAsk,Don'tTell" MattersDVDseriesan
American
teenage
butwhat's
it does.ThisPBSdocu- institution,
champ,Jessie(Syd
trackstarraisedby
mentary
explores
the
most
likable
aboutthis
Blakovich),
and
the
whiteJewishlesbians
installment
is thatit's
policyandits effects
manywomenshe
struggling
to find her
co-gendered
which
on lesbianandgay
identity.Sheconnects leavesin herwake.
soldiersandmilitary
givesviewersa chance
ThisDVDhasplenty
withherrootswhile
andnationalsecurity, to meetup-andjugglingschoolwork of steamylesbiansex
comingqueercomics
butultimately,
Jessie's whileweavingin the
andcollegeapplicastoryof thepolitical
whomaynothit your
storycomesdownto
tions.Hertouching
hometown.
Lotsof
coming-of-age
storyis herstrugglebetween andculturalbattles
that
have
defined
this
great
material,
butit's
her
career
and
being
treatedwithsensitivity
andthoughtfulness. herself.(blowfish.com) facetof thestrugglefor theAmyTeesegments
civilrights.
you'llbereplaying.
(offandrunningthefilm.[KatiePeoples]
(asknotfilm.com)
[KP]
(ariztical.com)
[DAM]
com)[RachelBeebe]
October 2009
I61
REVIEWSTech Girl
VirtualVixens
Ten video-game hotties to admire and desire. By Rachel Shatto
As a lifelong lady gamer, there's little I enjoy more
than a kick-ass female character. In 1996, when Tomb
Raider's Lara Croft first arrived on the scene with a
serious set of guns and a taste for adventure, she was
my fantasy come true. An instant hit, Lara spawned
a number of knockoffs, but, nearly 15 years later,
female representation still remains low in the world
of gaming. The vast majority of female characters are
of the sidekick variety or are inappropriately adorned
(I mean, really, who wears a thong into battle?). But
that's not to say there isn't hope. With a watchful eye
and more hours spent controller-in-hand than I'd
like to admit, I've tracked down 10 female characters
truly worthy of your hard-earned free time.
1. NarikoWhen most of her clan is destroyed by
iiber baddie King Bohan, Heavenly Sword's Nariko
makes the ultimate sacrifice and takes up the cause.
Wielding a mystical weapon that both grants her preternatural power and drains her life force, she saves
her remaining people, earns her father's respect and
gives evil what for. This fiery-haired warrior truly is a
heavenly creature.
2. ShevaAlomarFoxy, fearless South African Sheva
Alomar made her debut in Resident Evil 5. Not your
typical second-fiddle zombie killer, Sheva boasts
paramilitary skills to rival any of the Resident Evil
crew. Whether facing down the psychotic parasitecontrolled populace of a township or giant mutants,
this intrepid soldier never bats a lovely eyelash.
3. LiaraT'SoniFamously (but temporarily) banned
in Singapore, Mass Effect faced controversy because
of a lesbian love scene between its main character,
Commander Jane Shepard, and Liara, an Assari
companion (think Inara Serra from Firefly). But it's
not all boudoir for Liara, who is also a skilled scientist and handy at building weapons, making her the
intergalactic total package.
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0
15
4. JadeBeyond Good and Evil's sassy tomboy Jade
~
boldly faces off against aliens aplenty and, armed
with only a camera, a combat staff and a swine sidekick, Pey'J, she manages to uncover a worldwide
extraterrestrial conspiracy and make green lipstick
look fierce.
5. FaithConnors
Set in a world where a totalitarian
government controls all forms of communication,
the heroine of Mirror'sEdge,a parkour maven, runs,
jumps and soars over buildings to deliver contraband
messages for revolutionary groups. And she's got
some very fine ink to boot.
6. Bayonetta
This eponymous shape-shifting witch
rocks an English accent,
a magic black catsuitmade of her own hair, no
less-and the sexiest set of
specs since Tina Fey sent
up Sarah Palin. Armed
to the teeth, she dispatches demons with her
pink guns: Parsley, Sage,
Rosemary and Thyme.
7. SamusAran The legendary blond bounty-hunting bombshell Samus
Aran provided the industry's original plot twist in
1986. Gamers playing through the first Metroid were
shocked when, at its conclusion, Samus pulls off"his"
helmet to reveal-a female.
8. MerylSilverburgh
In the male-dominated,
testosterone-fueled
franchise Metal Gear
Meryl manages to hold her own. The commanding officer of Rat Patrol, a fictional
U.S. Army Special Forces unit, and skilled
with all manner of firearms, she is ready to
take on any foe-from
biomechanical killing machines to psychotic, telekinetic
supermodels.
9. MidnaSassy-mouthed Midna makes
her appearance in The Legendof Zelda:
TwilightPrincessas franchise her~ Link's
guide through the shadowy Twilight
Realm. Mischievous and powerful, she appears throughout most of
the game as a potbellied imp, but her
true identity as Twilight Princess-a
blue skinned, amber-eyed _beauty-is
revealed in the end.
10. SparrowThe hero of Albion and Fable 2,
Sparrow is the only openly gay gal of the bunchthat is, should you choose to make her so ( and
why wouldn't you?). Good or bad, butch or·
femme, that's up to you. However, regardless of
the path you choose for her, Sparrow remains a
compelling character and one tough cookie. She
battles her way across Albion, taking on the living,
the dead and everything in between, but still manages to make time to woo and bed the ladies-and
even start a family. ■
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iemininec.J)rindp~
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October 2009
I63
Bella Bologna continued from page 34
Was It Just A "Glitch"?continued from page 43
ting edge female artists to Bologna every
year to participate in Soggettiva and Gender
Bender which takes place this year from Nov.
3 to 8. This year, Gender Bender celebrates
Soggettiva's fourth year as organizers of the
special women's program and highlights
Allyson Mitchell along with other avant-garde
lesbian and feminist films and filmmakers,
television shows and personalities, musicians
and visual artists.
After our meeting at Cassero, Antonia and
I went to Museo di\.rte Moderna di Bologna
for a drink and a fabulous meal of spiced
polenta, various grain salads and foccaciaall free with our small glasses of wine from
the bar. We toasted each other and then, both
exhausted, we hugged each other tight and
said goodbye, promising to keep in touch. ■
said Francine Saint Marie, the author of The
SecretTrilogyand Girl Trouble."The only dif-
Step Aside, Nancy Grace continued from page 39
ing like a a pressure cooker. Then I remembered Suze Orman and I looked at Al and
said, 'I think I want to mention that I live
with a woman: So after the break I did just
that-and the sky didn't fall down. It's been a
relief to be myself and not have to pretend:'
With Maddow charming viewers on
MSNBC and Velez-Mitchell topping Beck's
ratings at HLN, the hallowed doors of
network TV have swung wide for other
lesbians to walk through, but when asked
if she considers herself a trailblazer, VelezMitchell rejects the label. "I don't like to use
words like 'trailblazer' or 'role model; as that
can set people up for failure;' she says. "I don't
like to give myself titles. The most important
part of my sobriety is humility and anytime I
start veering away from that there are always
problems. When I'm self-obsessed, things
don't go my way, but when I'm just trying to
be of service, good things happen:'
Being of service to those who can't fight
back is what drives Velez-Mitchell and she
urges women to join her crusade for compassion towards animals. "Lesbians, as a group,
are compassionate, so let's look at the world
around us and realize there are certain things
we are struggling with in terms of rights for
ourselves, but let's be sensitive as well to the
rights of others who have even less of a voice
than we do;' she says. 'J\.nimals have no voice
whatsoever. Animal protection and the gay
movement dovetail in so many ways, so to
all the lesbians out there, whenever you have
one of your barbecues, why don't you make it
a compassionate oner" ■
64
Icurve
Darling Clementine continued from page 42
a poisonous character. I've been left, and
chased after some guy, but it's so boring
because it's not real. I don't think the weepy,
whiny women are representative of what's out
there. If I take a cross-section of my very best
friends, they are so strong and incredible and
can take care of themselves, and we don't see
enough of that.
WhenI interviewed
LornaLufta whileago,she
spokeabouthowdifficultit couldbe as Judy
Garland's
daughter,
andhowshehadproblems
with her self-esteem
and identityfromhaving
hadsucha famousmom.Is thatsomething
you
canrelateto?
Yeah, it's hard. I've got a lot of opportunities
because of who my mom is. I've been lucky
but ... we have stopped doing a lot of stuff
together for the most part. There comes a
point in your career where you're going to be
known as Cybill Shepherd's daughter or I'm
going to fail at being me. I'd rather succeed or
fail as being me.
Sowhatdoyoudoinyourdowntime?
I spend a lot of time with my dogs. I don't
drink, so I don't go out much. I've done a lot
of bowling lately, which I'm not good at, but
I like it. I do write and draw and make little
things for my friends that are kind of like
comic strips. I watch a lot of really bad reality TV. I used to give interviews and make up
things, saying I've been reading Dickens all
weekend, but the truth is, I watch bad TV. I
wat_chThe BiggestLoser.
WhataboutAmerica's
NextTopModer?
That's my favorite! I'll tell you a secret-and
she might get mad at me but I don't care,
print it-Elizabeth Keener, who plays Dawn
Denbo, loves Americas Next Top Model. We
text each other about it. ■
ference is Amazon's regard for LGBT writers
and publishers, which, in my opinion, they
are treating as a 'suspect class' and discriminating against:'
Saint Marie wrote an article about her
personal experience with Amazon for
After Ellen, and said she was "unrelenting" in
her "reasonable demands" for answers.
"I did not know for quite some time that
it was subject matter censorship and gay bias
that I was experiencing from Amazon;' she
said. "To have been required to delete certain
words in my listings on Amazon-like gay'
and 'lesbian -in order to obtain sales ranks
and other benefits is obscene. So long as censorship exists in any form, anywhere, I will
always consider it outrageous:'
Since the'glitch" story came to light, Amazon
has done its best to quell any suspicion of
discrimination. Apparently it has succeeded.
Customers continue to flock to Amazon and
the public indignation surrounding the incident has apparently come to nothing.
Most LGBT publishers also use Amazon
to help market their books. 'J\.mazon carries all
of our titles and comprises a substantial portion of our retail outlet;' said Len Barot, president of Bold Strokes Books, Inc. "While we
make all of our titles available through ind·ependent booksellers, as well as on our own
online webstore, we realize that many readers utilize Amazon because of convenience:'
Bold Strokes' primary distributor, Bella
Distribution, contacted Amazon as soon as
the 'glitch" became obvious. Barot was assured
that steps were being taken to correct the
problem and also received a follow-up confirmation that corrections were under way. She
believes whatever occurred was "recognized
and corrected quickly" and therefore won't
cause any long-term effects.
"In the short term, we need to check every
listing to see that it has been properly corrected;' Barot added. "But since we have
nearly 200 active titles, this is a significant
undertaking:'
Regardless of what happened
with
Amazon, Barot believes that the key for
LGBT publishing houses is to ensure that'-,
no single retail outlet should determine
their success. 'J\.s long as we have the support and dedication of our readers, and offer
them quality writing in quality form-we
will thrive:' ■
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0
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~
~
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With you when
~wo etc.c..ou~~ ba.c.o\\"J!.:
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curve
THE BEST-SELLING
OCTOBER 2009
I
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME 19 NUMBER 8
Publisher and Founder Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Diane Anderson-Minshall
Managing Editor Katie Peoples
Assistant Editor Rachel Beebe
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Music Review Editor Margaret Coble
Web Editor Rachel Shatto
Contributing Editors Julia Bloch, Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Gretchen Lee, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
Editorial Assistants Briana Hernandez, Ariel Messman-Rucker,
Frances Yee
PUBLISHING
Senior Advertising Executive Diana L Berry
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
Advertising and Marketing Assistant LaKeisha Hughes
Hey Mac!
I knew Clementine Ford as Molly, the savvy straight-to-gay college chick who
wooed Shane on The L Word. And yet, when I first saw photographer Tony
Donaldson's cover shoot images, I couldn't believe my eyes. It's amazing how
much Ford looks like her famous mother, Cybill Shepherd, who plays her gay
on-screen mother on the hit Showtime series.
Though she's the lesbian daughter of an outspoken (and openly
bi-curious) Hollywood legend, Ford is nothing if not her own woman. How
else could she hold her own with her famous singer, songwriter and producer
girlfriend, Linda Perry, who is always surrounded by beautiful stars like Pink
and Gwen Stefani?
Ford's coming out was mired in controversy over when and where she
"officially"came out, and even her grandmother expressed her worry over how
this would affect her career-even today family can be the most worried for us.
It seems those doom and gloom predictions were for naught. After coming
out, 30-year-old Ford landed the plum role playing straight girl Mackenzie
(Mac) Browning on daytime's hit soap, The Young and the Restless. And as
plenty of soap fans will tell you, Ford does a more than convincingjob as the
torn lover of one Billy Abbott.
For us, it's always a treat to have a Hollywood heavyweight who happens
to be a lesbian grace our cover. But there's more than just Clementine Ford in
this issue. You'll also want to check out our other interviews (including the hot
new gay TV anchor Jane Velez-Mitchell) and our listing of Top 10 Lesbianowned Companies. I'm even investigating a new lesbian company myself: Next
month, I'll be aboard the much-anticipated new lesbian cruise line, Sweet,
setting sail for the Caribbean. Who knows, maybe they'll make next year's list?
Or maybe your company will? Tell us more at letters@curvemag.com.
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Photo Editor Hayley McMillen
Production Manager Ondine Kilker
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
Web Producer Nikki Woelk
Photo Assistants Piper Robbins, Kimberly Schumacher
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin, Jennifer Corday,
Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Beren deMotier, Michele Fisher, Tania
Hammidi, Jodi Helmer, Kathi lsserman, Gillian Kendall, Kate
Lacey, Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Candace Moore, Aefa
Mulholland, Alison Peters, Catherine Plato, Aimsel L. Ponti, Laurie
K. Schenden, Kristin A. Smith, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Robin
Miner-Swartz, Kyra Thomson, Jocelyn Voo, Alison Walkley,
Melany Walters-Beck
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Paul Michael Aguilar, Michelle Bart, Erica Beckman, Phil Cho,
Cheryl Craig, Tony Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Gabriela Hashun,
Janet Mayer, Maggie Parker, Elisa Shebaro, Leslie Van Stelten,
Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams, Misty Winter
1550 Bryant Street, Suite 510
San Francisco, CA 94103
Phone (415) 863-6538 Fax (415) 863-1609
Advertising Sales (415) 863-6538 ext. 15 or (212) 446-6700
Subscription Inquiries (818) 286-3102
Advertising Email advertising@curvemag.com
Editorial Email editor@curvemag.com
Letters to the Editor Email letters@curvemag.com
Volume 19 Issue 8 Curve (ISSN 1087-867)() is published monthly (except for bimonthly
January/Februaly and July/Augusij by Ou1spokenEnterprises,Inc., 1550 Bryant St., Ste. 510,
San Francisco, CA 94103. Subscription price: $49.95/year, $62.95 Canadian (U.S. funds only)
and $71.95 international(U.S. funds only). Returned checks will be assessed a $25 surcharge.
Periodicalspostage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additionalmailing offices (USPS
0010-355). Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any manner. either
wholeor n part, wrthoutwntten permission from the pubisher. Pubicationof the name or
photograph of atT'/persons or organizations appeamg,
advertisi'lg or listi,g in Curve may not
be taken as an incficalionof the sexual orientation of that incfr.lidualor group unless specifically
stated. Curve welcomesletters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE
for response. lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions
cannot be returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope is included. No responsibility
is assumed for loss or damages. The contents do not necessarily represent the opinions of
the editor, unless specifically stated. All magazines sent discreetly. Subscription Inquiries:
Pleasewrite to Curve, 1550 Bryant Street, Su~e 510, San Francisco, CA 94103, email crvcs@
magserv.com or caB800-705-0070 {818-286-3102 outside the U.S.). Canadian Agreement
Number: 40793029. Postmaster.
SendCanaceiaddresschanges to crvcs@rnagserv.com,CulVB,
PO Box 122, Niagara Falls, ON L2E 6S8. SendU.S. addresschanges to crvcs@magserv.com,
Cuve, POBox17138,N. Holywood,CA91615-7138.PmtedintheU.S.
curvemag.com
:,.::
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2
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Features OCTOBER
2009
Oh Clementine!
34
That's Bologna!
Up close and
personal with
daytime's
newest star
An American lesbian feminist finds comrades
in this Italian city. By Stephanie Schroeder
38
Berlin Babe
Berlin's hot frontwoman Terri Nunn leaves us
breathless. By Laurie K. Schenden
39
TV's New Gay Anchor
The lesbian host of Issues With Jane VelezMitchell opens up about adiction and ambition.
By Katrina Fox
40
Clementine Ford
The L Word hottie on coming out, her new
soap gig and why she goes for strong women.
By Katrina Fox
43
Amazon's Glitch
Why the bookselling giant- and their ranking
technology-matters to LGBT publishing.
By Lyndsey D'Arcangelo
44
Femme-inist
Del LaGrace Volcano and Ulrika Dahl's new
photobook takes a peek at gender identity
and queer femme culture. By Rachel Beebe
48
50
52
54
55
41
curve
PowerfulWomen& Fascinating
Careers
Top 1O Lesbo-Owned Companies
These savvy business owners set the bar for
queer entrepreneurs. By Laurie K. Schenden
From Shop Floor to Corner Office
Vy Le got her start in retail. Now she's
revamping healthcare. By Heather Robinson
Women in Charge
Five lesbian business owners who say
behind every great woman is a franchise.
By Beth Dreher
Best Job Ever
Meredith Giske, the director of New Belgium
Brewey's Vibe Squad, on why she has the
perfect job. By Lina Swislocki
Making Connections
Lesbian networking events give queer
professional women a place to be themselves. By Danielle Sonnenberg
a
BEING AHEAD OF YOUR TIME IS NEVER EASY. That's why one of our core values is to respect
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Departments OCTOBER
2009
27
A..a •• :-.,,.
IN EVERY ISSUE
2
10
12
13
14
18
19
22
24
28
29
15
Frankly Speaking
Letters
Contributors
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
I curve
26
Money: Keeping your accounts in line isn't
the headache you think it is.
27
Health: Kim Kardashian gets us fit without
all the fuss.
30
Dyke Drama
Does having queer-savvy parents matter?
Open Studio
Out in Front
32
Politics
AstroGrrl
Why civil unions just don't cut it.
Lipstick & Dipstick
-
I Tried It
Top Ten Reasons We Love ...
Curvatures
56
-
..
Music: Up-and-coming divas Diane Birch,
Leslie Mendelson and Maia Sharp bring
back that '70s sound. Plus, women's rock
camps are the place to be this fall.
58
Books: New offerings from Sarah
Schulman and Ariel Schrag. And, awardwinner Jennifer L. Jordan talks mysteries.
60
Film: Queer docs celebrate the life of Kathy
Acker, bust trans myths and tell the truth
about homophobia in college sports.
62
Tech: Ten female video-game characters
that really kick ass.
Celebrity Gossip
Wanda has twins, Tila lives and Gaga
digs girls.
6
Relationships: Is your gal on a self-help
bender? How to deal.
Scene
Hot tees, recyled bras and a one-on-one
with International Ms. Leather.
20
23
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Who is the Most Desirable Queer Woman?
Is Rachel Maddow hotter than Sheryl Swoopes? Would
your vote go to Lindsay Lohan or Daniela Sea? We've got the
hottest queer celebs facing off and it's up to you to
pick our winner.
~
The Animated Romances
That Should Have Been
Wilma and Betty from The Flintstones,
Scooby Doo's Velma and Daphne, Wonder
Woman and She-Ra-find out what would
have happened if we'd been drawing the
storyboards.
~
Makin' a Big Splash
Kelli O'Donnell-wife of Rosie-spills about the celesbian
couple's gayby-friendly cruise line, R Family Cruises, and why
travelers with wide-eyed tots in tow won't be at risk of stumbling upon people hookin' up in the deck chairs.
1O Things Femmes
Wish You Knew
Think you learned everything you need to know
about femmes from The L
Word? Think again. Funny
ladies and proud femmes
Suzanne Westenhoefer
and Vickie Shaw school
you on the subject.
s Icurve
t) Videos to Get Your Heart Racing
Kim Kardashian's Fit in Your Jeans By Friday
is the latest workout video to get you hot and
sweaty (page 27) but variety is the key to sticking to your fitness routine. Fortunately, there
are plenty of options out there for those of us
who are not gym-inclined.
~ Minding Your Business
There are just too many lesbian businesses
and business owners to fit in this issue-and
that's a good thing! We share our list of favorite
ladies at the top and the best girl bars to grab
a drink after you clock out.
Take
a break
where
anything
goes.
VisitLasVegas.com/gaytravel
LETTERS
age it is foolish to think lesbians
women I share my magazine
must be "visually" different. As for
with. I want to know what all
Donohoe, her lack of luck with the
women think about, regardsponsors appears to be due to disless whom they sleep ·with. You
crimination against nontraditional
can't have diversity if you only
ideas of femininity. Is this
have one group's point of
unfair? Of course, and I don't
view. I think what curve
doubt that, as an out athlete,
is doing is great. I've read
she encounters homophobia.
other magazines. They are
It would be a mistake, howevboring me to tears because
What's your fave
er, to assume that into"lerance
they don't get ...points of
lesbian hairstyle?
of lesbians and intolerance of
view from all communiunconventional-looking womties. It's all about just gay
38% Comeon,that's
en are the same issue.
just a stereotype
men or just gay women.
Poll
- DebJohnson, Tucson,Ariz.
From One Reader
to Another
Love Girl in a Coma!
I just wanted to thank you for featuring Girl
in a Coma in your July/ August issue [Vol.19
#6] ! GIAC is my favorite band and I was so
glad to see them getting some recognition from
the lesbian community. They are very gracious to their fans and their shows are a blast!
I hope that I'll see them in curve again soon.
- RachelRivera, Dallas
27% Longandflowing
17% Thefauxhawk
9% Thenew,sleek,
Dear Ms Jenna Reulbach of
hipstermullet
Arvada, Colo. [Letters Vol.
6% Thebuzzcut
19 #6]: No offense, but you
are full of crap. I want to read
3% TheOriginal,
about all women who have ima.k.a.the mullet
pacted the lesbian community.
According
to a curvemag.com
poll
I loved Pam Grier [Vol. 19
#4], and I was very happy to
read about her. So were all the black lesbian
Where's the tranny point of
view? Poo-poo on our onesided thoughts and minds.
- Tina S. Dwight
Corrections: In
Open
Studio Vol. 19 #6, the
correct website for Trish
Tunney is trishtunney.com.
She lives in the Mission
District, not Potrero Hill,
in San Francisco.
Is Donohoe Confused?
Your June '09 issue [Vol. 19 #5] is excellent,
but the "Too Foxy for Roxy?" cover story left
me a bit puzzled. You proclaim that"[ Amee
Donohoe] can't get a sponsor because she's
gay;' but reading the article, I didn't get the
feeling that her sexual orientation was the
sponsor's problem at all. Donohoe describes
being dropped because she shaved her head,
and ignored because she's" 'visually' identifiable as queer:' First of all, I really have to object
to the quoted words, because in this day and
Could Martina Be
Bad For Gay Rights?
As we're sure you've heard, tennis great
Martina Navratilova, long a figure in the gay
rights movement, is fighting a messy divorce battle with Toni Layton, who
says she's entitled the one half of the tennis star's fortune. Navratilova's
lawyer has argued that their relationship does not qualify as marriage by
heterosexual terms-calling her relationship with Layton "sub-par" when
compared to "true, traditional marriage" -and therefore Layton shouldn't
get jack. Below are a few anonymous comments from curvemag.com readers on the story, which originally ran on queerty.com. Log on to say what
you think today.
"Layton is a narcissistic
liar. She got caught
stealing, lying and cooking
books. She caused more
financial debt than Madoff
did- will she split the debt
as well as the "fortune," or
just fraudulently steal more
from Martina, leave her trail of
financial wreckage behind and
move on to her next victim?"
10
I curve
"Martina has a pattern of lovin' and
leavin' women in the dust. Her high profile
splits and her greedy public boo-hooing that
her exes are trying to clean her out seem
pretty shady, considering there is, indeed, a
pattern. Anyone who has seen the videos of
Martina and Judy Nelson can tell Martina is
a huge manipulator. After the fact, yes, she is
indeed the LGBT community's enemy No. 1.
Making our relationships sub-par is reprehensible for any reason. How dare she?"
Our online article "Gender Turbulence" [June 2009], which covers the new
Transportation Security Administration identification regulations and how
they affect transgender passengers (which was pubished the same week
we ran a story about Chaz Bono coming out as transgender) caused quite
an uproar. Go to curvemag.com to see the full discussion.
"Trans issues are lesbian issues. As
lesbians, we should begin to include
them as part of our community,
especially since we understand
how difficult it is to be considered
'other.' Until all people have equal
rights to express their gender and
sexuality, lesbians won't either. Trans
issues are lesbian issues!"
"To those of you who are not
transgender, the issue of gender
identity, obviously, isn't important.
To those of us who are (and consider
ourselves lesbians}, gender is an
extremely high priority. It is our life!
-And, yes, I enjoy reading curve. I
enjoy all things lesbian ...because,
like I said, I am lesbian! I put my
name and money into causes that
affect gays and lesbians because we
are all fighting for the same thing,
remember? What ever happened to
the quest for true equality?"
"Why are there so many trans articles
on this website? It is no longer
a lesbian magazine but a trans
magazine. Can we please see more
lesbian-related stuff and can the trans
issues for at least a week?"
"Curve is a lesbian magazine. Why
should we as women accept a man
into our spaces? We don't have many
women-only spaces and have to deal
with men every day. Curve is a place
for lesbians. This magazine is for us,
and some lesbians are offended and
afraid to speak their real feelings that
we have to accept trans men on our
pages. I have my opinion and I do not
like being bullied into accepting trans
men into lesbian space."
"What the hell? This is ridiculous!
We are all part of the gay community-are we seriously going to fight
amongst ourselves over petty little
things like this? There are people
who think we are all going to burn
in hell and we don't deserve the
same rights as our heterosexual
counterparts. Everything around
us is geared toward the straight
community."
"Curve is a magazine that we open
and finally feel like we are home
in. How about instead of fighting
amongst ourselves we fight those
out there who are trying to tell
us that we don't belong, that our
lifestyles are disgusting and that we
can pay our taxes but we don't deserve the same rights as everyone
else. They are full of ignorance and
hate, but if we keep fighting over
stupid shit, they are going to win."
"The first thing that occurs to me is
that some lesbians are in relationships with transgendered people
and that there are current lesbians
who identify strongly with males or
possibly want to become trans men
themselves. And how about this:
Being a lesbian doesn't mean that
you are interested solely in dictionarydefinition lesbianism and nothing
else; you may like to read about a
new video game or band, or want to
take in some greater issues of queer
culture that aren't 100 percent, 24ll
lesbian. I know I do! The readership of curve is not just you, nor
does every single word and article
in it have to have carry the stamp of
'lesbian.' Ridiculous."
"Such nonsense ...Trans issues have
nothing to do with lesbian issues.
Relating the two is simply a marriage
of convenience for political
effort to broaden the magazine's audience. Women, lesbian or straight,
are typically accepting of just about
anything. So, curve risks very little
backlash by injecting
non-lesbian content
"Trans issues have nothing to
into the periodical.
If I had my druthers,
do with lesbian issues. Relating
I'd vote for curve to
the two is simply a marriage of
stick to its roots by
remaining centered
convenience for political purposes." on lesbian content.
But, as most sensible
people realize, I don't have a votepurposes. Curve has a rich history
and neither do you."
as a lesbian-centered periodical.
Injecting trans issues into the mix
may be motivated by a desire on
"Again, we talk about trans issues,
when we should be talking lesbian
the part of the curve's publisher to
increase subscriber appeal in an
issues. Gross misconduct, curve."
October 2009
I 11
CONTRIBUTORS
From the Editor
For such a small staff, the
Curvettes have had some big
travels this season. From family
visits to Scotland, Ireland and
Vermont, to a honeymoon in Tahiti
(yes, one of us got hitchedguess who?), we've been all
over the map while trying to get
this issue done. While I stayed
stateside, I did spend a weekend
on a press trip in Palm Beach,
Fla., editing the cover story on my
laptop while seated 20 feet from
crystal clear ocean currents that
had wafted 45 miles north from
the Bahamas retaining the same
aquamarine shade.
Then, it was back to reality, as
we all hunkered down not just to
finish this issue but to also plan
our 20th anniversary (2010 is
sooner than we'd like to admit)
and our giant annual holiday gift
guide, which will be out in just
two months!
Of course, the trips aren't over
yet. Production manger Ondine
Kilker is doing an Easy Rider-type
adventure: traveling solo, crosscountry (and Canada) on her
new motorcycle, while managing
editor Katie Peoples is packing
for the biggest trip of all: She's
moving to the Ukraine-for a two
year stint in the Peace Corps.
Of course her goodbye is
still one month away so there's
plenty of time to teach her how
to pronounce /esbiys'kyy (i.e.
lesbian) in Ukrainian before she
goes. Stay tuned!
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Editor in Chief
121curve
"I never thought I'd be wntmg about balls for a
lesbian magazine;' laughs former editorial assistant
YanaTallon-Hicks
who was researching Luna Beads,
the Kegel exercisers, as of press time. "But then again,
I guess this is where a background in writing and selling sex toys gets you:' Though known for her sarcasm,
Tallon-Hicks is genuine about promoting communication between queer communities, whether it be
through working at sex-positive Good Vibrations or
offering curve readers lots of fierce writing and some
pun-filled headlines."! think it's important to recognize
the struggles of being a queer woman, but sometimes you've got to laugh it off," she says.
Tallon-Hicks is excited to continue her love of lesbian-centric writing for curve, which,
she half-jokes, "has turned my latent dream of becoming the dyke Carrie Bradshaw into a
healthy obsession!" Now traveling through South America, she hopes to find inspiration
for a sex-column-Sexo y la Ciudad,anyone?
'Tm still blown away by the fact that I'm working for a magazine that I've been reading since I was a kid;' says editorial
assistant ArielMessman-Rucker.
"When I told my mom they
hired me, she actually squealed:' Messman-Rucker was born
and raised in the Bay Area, a lucky thing for a girl raised by her
father, her stepmother and her lesbian mother with a disability.
"Growing up, I never thought my family was that different
from anyone else's;' she says. It wasn't until Messman-Rucker
was older that she learned how cruel dosed-minded people
can be. But a tough skin and a healthy dose of sarcasm and
snarky comebacks have served her well over the years. When
she isn't writing, interviewing or researching for curve, she can be found playing with
her dogs, reading a good book or watching a ridiculous number of movies. Her favorites?
Psycho,DoubleIndemnityand TheMalteseFalcon."Getting a chance to write for a publication that I both love and respect has been a tremendous opportunity that I hope will help
me become that Pulitzer Prize-winningjournalist I've always imagined in my head:'
"I love to create images based on memory;' says Dyke
Drama illustrator Katherine
Streeter.
"This month's column
is about the author's childhood, which always helps to
create a dreamy visual landscape. This is perfect for the
style of collage paintings I make, which are almost always
inspired by or use vintage photos:' Streeter collects lots of
bits from her own memory when she work as well, since
she has a few book projects in the works and is always
creating personal work to be shown in galleries and alternative spaces inside and outside New York City, where she
currently resides.
SCENE
1 Beautiful people at SF Pride's VIP bash at The Fairmont Hotel
2 Helen Zia (right) and her wife, Lia Shigemura, co-chairs of
A&PIWC's Families Campaign, at the Clift Hotel. Zia was SF
Pride's community grand marshal! 3 Curve advertising assistant LaKeisha Hughes (center) with friends at Trigger in SF
4 Lesbo cartoonist Paige Braddock at WonderCon 5 Trigger's
Women in the Castro night 6 Bang Bang Betty's Big Beautiful
Bombshells at North Bank in Vancouver, Wash. 7 Lambda Lit
chicks (from left): authors ]Lee Meyer and Katherine Forrest
with librarian Karen Sundheim 8 Girls do the Tease Party in SF
9 Frameline Film Festival'sclosing night party brought out actors
Sharon Gless & Rosie O'Donnell, and Wolfe Video president
Maria Lynn (center) 10 Curve'sCute Girl Party at Lime in SF
11 The Sarah Bush Dance Project girls get down at Trigger
October 2009 j 13
cu[~atures____
,___ -
Bra Recycling a Firm Success
"The lase thing a woman leaving an abusive situation
worries about is taking a bra;' says Elaine Birks,
Mitchell. "But when she is in transitional housing,
interviewing for jobs, it becomes important:'
Birks, Mitchell is a co,founder of Bosom Buddy
Bra Recycling, a thriving textile recycling business
with plenty of lesbian fans. She and her husband,
Johnny Mitchell Jr., receive bras from various sources:
women donate their unworn and used bras and
department stores send them their
unsalable goods. Also, anyone can
mail in their clean bras via instruc,
tions on the company's website,
brarecycling.org.
Bosom • Buddy exports unus,
able bras for disassembling-the
wire and other materials are used as
resources in developing countries. "It's is a win,win
for everyone;' says Birks,Mitchell. "Recycling elimi,
nates overflow of textiles in landfills, and we give back
at least 10 percent of what we collect;' she says. The
Mitchells are also in the process of creating a non,
profit foundation.
"The response we've received just since our
founding in October 2008 has
been incredible;' enthuses Birks, Mitchell. Both
Elaine and Johnny still hold day jobs. Elaine has
always run an independent business or done com,
munity work. Bue, their dream is to run Bosom
Buddy and administer their nonprofit organization
full,time.
The Mitchells have partnered with local groups
around Phoenix, where they are based, so that
women in homeless shelters, transitional housing and
tr~atment facilities receive bras from
Bosom Buddy. The company also
works with several specific worn,
en's and girl's organizations. One
is Florence Crittenton of Arizona,
which helps co empower girls and
young women in need in the state.
Birks, Mitchell sees the program
spreading across the country, reaching women's shel,
ters nationwide and tapping into bra and lingerie
manufacturers for donations. There is already a simi,
lar program in the United Kingdom.
One issue remains, the desperate need for larger
size bras-sizes 36 and up are in demand. Buxom
babes, it's time to weed your lingerie drawer and
donate to an ample cause. [Stephanie
Schroeder]
International Ms. Leather 2009 titleholder Lamalani is a ropemaker and sex educator from the Pacific Northwest. Being an international titleholder keeps her busy
traveling and raising money for causes such as Home Alive, an anti-violence organization in Seattle that provides low-cost self-defense classes.
HERGAYDAYJOBS:I make hemp bondage rope with Twisted Monk. I am also a
contract marine mammal biologist and study the acoustics and behavior of
whales and dolphins. I figured I was not gay enough and decided to pursue
graduate school studying dolphins.
BIGGEST
MISCONCEPTIONS
ABOUTHER:Many people believe that BDSM is just
about pain, and find it hard to understand the allure. The truth is that people
can practice BDSM and be kinky without ever receiving pain. The thought of
tying up a lover with a silk scarf, blindfolding her or dripping hot wax from a
massage candle is enticing to lots of folks who don't identify as kinky.
WHYBONDAGE:
We practice BDSM because of the energy exchange between
partners, and the energy exchange can look like anything. Love, trust and
respect are necessary to give that kind of power to someone else.
SEDUCED
BY
SIRENNATION
It's thattimeof the year
again-pick up andhead
to Portland,
Ore.,for Siren
Nation'sannualfestival,
fromNov.5 to 8.
Founded
in 2005,Siren
Nationis a women'scollectivededicated
to the
empowerment
of female
artistsin music,film,
performance
andvisual
art.Founder,
producerand
executivedirectorNatalia
Kaystatesthattheirmission
is to "inspireandempower
womenof all agesto create
theirownart andto highlight
the manyachievements
of
womenin the arts."
Thisyear'sperformances
includeup-and-coming
musiciansGreyAnneand
StarAnna.Thefestivalwill
alsoofferart shows,an art
andcraftssaleandworkshopsat noadditionalcost.
SirenpresenterStacy
Bias(a Curve contributor)
says,"SirenNationisn't
just a festival,it's a partof
a movement-creatinga
centralspaceanda specific
focusonfemaleindependent
artists.[Thefestival]is radicallydiverse,burstingwith
talentandfull-to-overflowing
with a smart,feistyandfun
audienceof womenand
allies."Ladies,we'll seeyou
there!(sirennation.org)
[Frances
Yee]
TIEHERUP,TIEHERDOWN:
I'm a tactile person. Rope feels great running
through my hands onto someone's body. Bondage can be gentle and
relaxing or it can be mean as hell. And it's sexy-rope is beautiful on a
woman. [LoriSelke]
October 2009
I 15
the rundown
Thinking of going away with your special
girl to catch some sun this winter? Wayne
Besenof TruthWinsOutwants you to
reconsider Jamaica and has launched
Boycott,Jamaica.org, stating, "Our goal is
to turn Jamaica into a pariah state, as long
as LGBT people live in a state of terror:'
Jamaican LGBT organizers and Jamaica
ForumforLesbians,
AII-Sexuals
andGays
(J-FLAG)
are speaking out against the
proposed boycott, saying, "Because of
the possible repercus,
sions of increased
homophobic violence
against our already
besieged community,
we feel that a tourist
boycott is not the most
appropriate response
at this time:' ... Queer
legend and lead singer of Gossip
BethDitto
is feuding with KatyPerryof"I Kissed a
Girl" fame. Ditto was quoted in an inter,
view as saying Perry was a "boner dyke"
who is simply using gay culture, and is
offensive ... Cocktail,
a bar in Chicago's
"Boystown;' has ruled that bachelorette
parties are oppressive and has banned
them from the establishment. Bar owner
Geno Zaharakis stated that the drunken
women with beads and plastic phallic
accessories need to think about how
their presence is offensive to lesbians and
gays who cannot marry ... Lesbian icon
MelissaEtheridge
has come out
in support of medical marijuana.
In an interview with Anderson
Cooper
she candidly discussed
her own cancer treatments, the
side effects of chemotherapy and
the relief she got from marijuana ... A
new study shows that contrary to popular
belie£ gays and lesbians are just as reli,
gious as their heterosexual counterparts.
The research, conducted from 2007 to
2008, showed that six out of 10 gays and
lesbians reported that faith was important
in their lives... Soon, lesbian bookworms
will have something tasty and new
to devour: PortiadeRossiis writing a
memoir. The book, whose release date
has not been announced, will include an
account of her experiences with anorexia.
[Sassafras
Lowrey]
TURNING35
Sarah Aldridge's The
Latecomer, the famed first
book from Naiad Press and
the first lesbo novel to offer a
happy ending, is out in a 35th
anniversary edition. The new
book has comments from over
In someparts,October
offersthelast
20 lesbian icons, including
chanceat summer's
mclovin,
soskip
Ann Bannon, Jinx Beers, Kate
thebeat-upGeorge
Foreman
andoffer
Clinton, Lee Lynch, Radclyffe,
yourladysome...waitfor it...hotgrillon-grillaction.($19,snorgtees.com) JM Redman, Holly Near and
curve's own editor in chief.
(latecomerlegacyproject.com}
The Gaydar
Here's a taste of lesbians in pop culture this month.
Who missed the mark and who was right on target?
Monkeys
lysubversion
of
ildren'stoy.Pun
yourface
NancyDrewchic7heOfficial
NancyDrewHandbooktells
how
totapouta MorseCodemessage
withyourhighheels.7heWisdom
ofNancyDrewpromises
to solve
alloflife'slittlemysteries
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You Want What?
Nationally syndicated political cartoonist Jen Sorensen's latest collection of strips,
Slowpoke:One Nation, Oh My God! follows recent American political history, in
fabulously snarky detail, from 2004's misguided reelection of Bush II to the media
hoopla leading up to the 2008 elections. Sorensen proves herself strip by strip, as
she adeptly taps into America's neuroses and cultural and political absurdities, but
one of our favorite parts of her book is a bonus page of what visitors to her website
were actually looking for. "My website hit counter allows me to see what search
terms have led visitors to my site;' writes Sorensen. "Over the years I've compiled a list of the more unusual
phrases that people have Googled, or asked Jeeves, as the case may be, bringing them to slowpokecomics.com:'
Our faves:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
gaypenispuffers
successfulmustacheself-trimming
beltbuckleof fat peoplecartoon
wankingsoundbite
funnycupcakes
cartoonimagesof genitalwarts
wartcreamscam
boobsuckingdevice
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
(1¥iMI
cartoon images of genital warts
sexwith waterwing
kosherfunnelcakes
the letteringto TwinkleTwinkleLittleStarbackwards
fartingnewsman
puppetsex
asson art
bunin the ovencartoons
howmanypubichairsdoesjanicehave?
I
"Please note that these hits resulted from combinations of unrelated words on my blog;' adds Sorensen. "I
assure you I have never written about penis puffers of any kind:'
Operatic Feminism
and Elaine Kaplinsky are the talented women
download, this dramatic album is a celebration of female strength and creativity. If
that make up Hildegurls, named for the origi-
you're looking to broaden your horizons and
nal composer of the 12th century German
opera Ordo Virtutum, Hildegard of Bingen.
check out something new, it's a must-have.
Eva Beglarian, Lisa Bielawa, Kitty Brazelton
The quartet re-imagines this dramatic morality play for a contemporary audience using
electric keyboards, samplers and electric
guitars, reworking the ancient music while
still remaining true to the original material.
In her own time, Bingen was an abbess,
philosopher and composer, among other
things. The Ordo Virtutum is her most wellknown composition and appears to be the
oldest surviving Western opera. The story follows a struggle for the human soul between
(innovarecordings.com) [ArielMessman-Rucker]
PHONES
GETNAUGHTY
It's fun andit's free:the
officialSuicideGirls
FlipStrip
iPhoneappturnsthe classic
nudiepenconcepton its
headwiththis hightech
twist.Flipthe phoneone
wayto choosefrom
10 supersexySuicideGirls,
thenflip youriPhoneor
iTouchupsidedownandyou
canwatchherclothesdisappear!Thoughnotall the
SuicideGirls
featured-Lumi,
Sash,Zoli,Rigel,Coley,
Radeo,Inga,Dot,Antigone
andMaxi-are gay,we're
surethere'sa kindredspirt
somewhere
amongstthe
piercedandtatted-upclan.
It's a lot morefun than
iPhone'snewHottestGirls
app,whichonlyoffers
"topless,sexybabes."
the 17 personifications of virtue and the devil.
Filled with Latin chanting, harmonizing and
religious themes, the Electric Ordo Virtutum
differs greatly from what we think of as opera
today. Though the women do sing in beautiful
operatic soprano voices, they also use colorful lighting, intricate costuming and smoke
machines, which give their performances a
rock concert vibe.
While it may not be your typical iTunes
October 2009
I 17
OPENSTUDIO
Clockwise from left:
"Cholcolate," "Saturday,"
"Undress," and "Telephone"
brooches, and "Eye" ring
Livin in the Moment
Melanie Bilenker's art imitates life. By Fernanda Silva
For years, Melanie Bilenker had been collecting photos
depicting people doing ordinary things. She became interested in looking at people's lives through the camera lens,
in the moment of the snapshot. Now, Bilenker marries
her curiosity about the mundane with her love of antique
jewelry in her unique creations-jewelry
illustrated using
single strands of her own hair set into epoxy resin.
"The Victorians kept lockets of hair and miniature portraits painted with ground hair and pigment to secure the
memory of a lost love. In much the same way, I secure my
memories through photographic images rendered in lines
of my own hair, the physical remnants. I do not reproduce
events, but quiet minutes, the mundane, the domestic,
the ordinary moments;• she says of her work.
At 31 years old, this native New Yorker has lived in
Philadelphia for 13 years. Her work has garnered several
awards and fellowships and is in the permanent collections of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York,
the Philadelphia Museum of Art and Boston's Museum
of Fine Arts.
Though her pieces have made a splash in the art world,
she originally thought of her work as part of the craft
movement. She began making her jewelry to sell to
people looking for one-of-a-kind handmade pieces. ow,
1s
I curve
she says her work has begun to appeal to young people
with an interest in design.
Bilenker relies on her own photographs for inspiration
these days, using a tripod to capture the quick seconds of
her everyday life. "I will be in the middle of boiling water
with the camera on a tripod, just in case;• she says.
Taken as a whole, Bilenker sees her photographs as a
valuable record of how she's lived her life.
"I have a really terrible memory, so I think in some sense
it's about trying to remember those moments-they
are
what make up our lives and they are also universal;' she
explains. (melaniebilenker.com)
■
OUTINFRONT
Political
I Corr8ctWomen
These women are taking their causes to the streets-and
ParentalRightsin the Sunshine
State
She's handled the 3:00 a.m. feedings and
then gone to work a few hours later, pulled
her son from the imaginary lava pit in their
den, held his hand as he touched the bottom
of the deep end of the pool and cried as
she put him on the bus for his first day of
kindergarten.
CathyJamesis the nonbiological mother
of a 9-year-old whom she co-parents
with his mother Judy, her life partner
of 14 years. Bur because of the ban on
a_doption by gay Floridians (Florida
is the only state in the United States
that specifically forbids gay adoption),
James' son has only one legal parent.
"I have no legal standing in my
child's life;' says James. "Yer, if my
partner of 14 years, his biological
mom, died tomorrow, everyone that
is heterosexual would be eligible to
adopt him and I would nor:'
Faced with such an untenable state
of affairs, James has set out to change
the system. In 2006, she founded, and
is currently on the board of, Securing
Our Children's Rights, Inc., a nonprofit political lobbying organization
working to secure, protect and preserve the rights of children of LGBT
parents.
"This is a family values issue if ever there was
one;' says James. "My son was not rh_eresult
of a one-night stand, a 55-hour marriage ala
Britney Spears [or] poorly-learned sex education. He was dreamed about for years and is
the result of the love of two women who were
nurtured in wonderful Christian families.
[His] parents married for life:'
Changing
Misperceptions
Ir's the disconnect felt by many gay peoplethe dramatic difference between their own
positive self-image, and how the world often
views them. DebMellsays that's what initially
brought her to activism. "I knew something
was wrong and that something had to change
in the way we are viewed;' she says.
to the state legislature. By Sheryl Kay
The daughter of longtime alderman
Richard Mell, she got a real taste of negativity a few years back when she marched
in Chicago in support of gay marriage. Of.
the 300 participants in the peaceful protests, Mell was the only one arrested, and
she believes that may have been due to her
political ties.
She went on to become active in Equality
come out of the closet-especially when it is
difficult-we are being activists;' she says.
Pridein the WindyCity
To know lesbian life in Chicago is to know
VernitaGray.
She helped found Chicago's first lesbian
newspaper, Lavender Woman, helped organize rhe city's very first Pride Parade, and set
up one of Chicago's first gay information hotlines-which
she operated
out of her apartment.
"My phone was always ringing,
and there was always someone in my
little apartment because my place
was also a crash pad for my peers
who had no place to go;' says Gray.
"Today we call them homeless:'
Since
1993, Gray's talents
have been put to good use at the
Cook County State's Attorney's
office, where she was the LGBT
victim-witness coordinator, working with victims of hare crimes,
domestic violence and the families of homicide victims. After six
years she was promoted to LGBT
liaison, responsible
for reaching our to high school students
about hate crimes and issues of
Illinois, rece1vmg an award for Activist of violence in the community. For that work
the Year from the Chicago chapter of the she was given a Stonewall award.
She also worked beside Barack Obama
National Organization for Women, as well
when he was an Illinois senator as a memas the Howard Brown Cornerstone Award
ber of his LGBT advisory council. Their
for Community Excellence.
acquaintance brought her to the Democratic
Today, Mell is a member of the Illinois
House of Representatives. Her district is an convention in Denver, and to his inauguraaging, working-class community. With esca- tion in Washington, D.C.
In addition to her ongoing projects in the
lating foreclosures, unemployment and some .
State's Attorney's office, Gray also devotes
recent gang activity in her constituency,
time to LGBT senior citizen's issues, and in
Mell keeps busy working with local police
particular, access to m~rsing homes where the
and other community leaders to address
gay community feels comfortable.
these issues.
"We will not be going back into closets as
She acknowledges that political protest
we age, particularly my generation ofboomers;'
isn't everyone's cup to tea, but believes that
observes Gray. "We are going to the old folks'
even the smallest action can be powerful.
home with our rainbow flags, so they better
"The sign-holding, chanting activist probably isn't for everyone, but I believe when we get ready:' ■
October 2009
I 19
LESBOFILE
Autumn'sAdrenalineRush
Twitter debacles, RollingStone insightsand what one woman will do to save an ox. By Jocelyn Voo
FirstThing'sFirst
Who'sStr8
Our belated congratulations to CynthiaNixon
and Christine Marinoni, who announced
their engagement in May at an LGBT rally in
New York City, and to WandaSykesand her
wife, Alex, who welcomed twins, daughter
Olivia Lou and son Lucas Claude, in April.
Looks like all the celebs are setting the record straight (har har
har) these days:
Pink is not bisexual, as the singer felt
prompted to clarify on Twitter. "i just read
that im bisexual. so 1991;' she wrote. 'good
thing people write articles about me so i can
get my facts str8. i mean straight. read on
people:'
Who is bisexual? Hypersexual and perennially pants-less pop queen Lady Gaga,
who told Rolling Stone that her attraction
to women is completely physical. This, as
co~ld be expected, makes her boyfriends
"uncomfortable:'
And who might be bisexual? None other
than Francine Prejean, the mother of former
Miss California USA Carrie Prejean( the
ousted beauty queen has been outspoken
about the sins of gay marriage). According
to Star, Francine's alleged girlfriend, Valerie
Vetrano, confirmed that the two had dated.
However, a source explained that their relationship went belly-up because Francine "was
a Christian and that her loved ones would
never accept her if she were gaY:'
Ah, nothing like a good she-said-she-said!
Cyberstalking
Sucks
We don't like to joke about death, even when
it involves the maybe-she-is-maybe-she-isn't
bisexual Tila Tequila.But, apparently, someone out there does. In a crime that could only
happen in the Internet age, a stalker broke
into the celebrity's house, then posted a
message on Tequila's official Twitter account
claiming to have murdered both Tequila and
her dog. "I just broke into her house, killed
her and her dog. Logged onto Twitter to tell
you guys. She was signed on already. Tila
Tequila is dead."
Once Tequila returned home, two
hours later, she found her home trashed,
but thankfully her dog was still alive
(albeit in the trunk of her car). Tequila was
not harmed.
Bizarre? For sure. Never thought we'd say
this, but, Tila, we're glad you're OK.
20
I curve
Who is bisexual?
Hypersexualand
perennially
pants-less
pop queenLadyGaga..
WhatWomenDoin Lust
Months ago, Transformers hottie and
Angelina-look-alike MeganFoxtold GQ that
fellow actor OliviaWildewas so sexy that it
made Fox want to "strangle a mountain ox
with [her] bare hands:' Well, now we know
how Wilde responded when she heard the
news.
"I came into my trailer at House the
morning after that article came out;' Wilde
told G{b"and one of our writers had done
an illustration on my mirror of a mountain
ox saying, 'Save me, save me. Please, Olivia,
make out with Megan?: Of course, anything
I can do to save the mountain ox, I'm happy
to do:'
If you weren't an animal rights supporter
before, we bet you are now. ■
She Said
DAMR. N
VACATIONS
z:
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VISIT:
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DAMRONVACATIONS
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ASTROGRRL
Come Out and Play
Venus in luscious Libra makes us juicy-licious and full of sugar. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
Sex:You ooze charm and charisma. Use it to lubricate
your way into exclusive social groups. Be careful not
to create an oil spill. Career:
Join a new organization
to get your career re-energized. Then you can give
co-workers the business.
goodness goes bad. Until then, pour it on. Career:
Your mind may not be on the job now. Slide by if you
can. You will get away with almost anything except
napping under your desk.
Taurus(April21-May 21)
Sex:Sapphic Bulls look great and attract the ladies.
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Show her a few new exercises so you can tone and
buff together. Is that what they're _calling it now?
as you think. Why pretend and play games? See if this Career:Rather than do the job halfway, find any
can become the crush that leads to a grind. Career: excuse to work from home. When in doubt, arrange
You know just what to do to get the senior staff to
a business trip-to Paris.
sit up and take notice. Doing a great job is one way.
Wearing a cellophane suit is another.
Gemini(May22-June21)
Sex:Flirt your way to a successful ·match. Not only
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
will you gain access to the top parties in town, you will
Sex:Will a gal pal turn into a lovergrrl? Set some be the one they want to meet and greet. See how long
boundaries with her and then negotiate to redraw you can make it last. Career:
Powerful presentations
them. Career:Business travel is highlighted. Let's see get you noticed on the job. Very loud opinions also get
how much international mischief you can whip up you noticed-but
not to the same good effect.
before your boss pulls your expense account.
Sex:Your clandestine love affair is not as big a secret
Cancer(June22-July 23)
ALLEYESAREON
Youcanalwaysspota lambda
Libraby peekingintothe
centerof an adoringcrowd.
She'sthe onewiththe great
smileandthe beautifullaugh
thatseemsto holdeveryone's
attention.Thisgal makes
an excellentfirst impressionbecauseeverythingshe
wearsseemsto lookgood
on her,evena burlapsack.
LesbianLibrastendtowardthe
femmelook,favoringjewelry
andclothingthat accentuate
hercoloringandgrandstyle.
Librasarestunners,insideand
(proudly)out.
Capricorn(Dec.23-Jan.20)
Sex:Find any excuse to get her to go home with
Sex:October is the month to sample a tasting menu
you. You can find the right bird if you shop in the
right market. Avoid turkeys. Career:Focus on your
bottom line and see how much you can profit from
corporate trends. Money talks. In fact, it yells.
of love. How hot and spicy do you like it? Prepare
to singe your tastebuds. Career:
Others rely on your
investment advice, but do you really know what you're
talking about? When in doubt, pretend you can't
breach confidentiality.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Sex:You seem to know just what to say to turn her
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Sex:Spread your love via the Internet. If that doesn't
work, get up off the couch and open your front door.
Career:
Your competition is getting ready to make her
move. Preempt her with a savvy idea and eat her lunch.
Let's hope it's not liverwurst.
on. But you need to know when to stop talking.
Actions speak louder than words. Career:You are
the one· to know. Not only do you command center
stage, you draw people into your circle. Is it hot in
here-or is it just you?
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Sex:Find a well-endowed benefactress
Sex:Grrr. You are a love machine this month. Rev
your engines and see who hops on for a ride. Let's hope
for lots of bumps and curves! Career:
You have plenty
of get-up-and-go. Will you allow yourself to be tied
down at work? Find ways to move things from your
inbox to your outbox quickly. Then get out of there.
to help you
fluff your pillows. Yes, you can be spoiled. In fact,
you pray for it. Career:
Dig beneath the surface to see
what's really happening at work. Once you solve
the mystery, use the information to become a
benevolent dictator. ■
AstrologerCharleneLichtensteinis theauthor
Aries(March21-April20)
22
Icurve
of Herscopes: A Guide to Astrology for
Sex:Ramp up your charm and use it to cement
Lesbians. Get moreat thestarryeye.com
orgo
certain
t~ her blogat thestarryeye.typepad.com.
relationships.
Hurry,
before your milky
Relationships ADVICE
Windsof Chari e
Will you be ready when she gets caught up in the whirlwind? By Kate Lacey
Aside from the kind under your couch cushions, change can be daunting. But it's pretty
much guaranteed that either you or your
partner will go through some kind of change
over the course of your relationship. The
transformation could be the "change of life;'
thrusting you two down the rocky road of
hormonal discord, or maybe your girl will follow in the footsteps of Britney and Lindsay,
co lurch over the sobering threshold of rehab.
No matter what changes your lover is facing, if you can't adjust, you may find yourself
higher than Courtney Love and drier than a
postmenopausal matron.
GREEN-EYED
MISTRESS
Often, when we see our partners improving
their lives, say, by losing weight or finding
spirituality, jealousy tightens its vice-like grip.
We know we should cheer our loved ones on
as they become healthier, happier and more
centered, but envy can be an ugly bedfellow.
We fall prey to the faulty reasoning that says,
"The more she improves her life, the less great
my life is:' But life is not a competition, unless
it's $1 beer and wet T-shirt night at the lesbian pub ( then, you're on). Otherwise, break
the yardstick you're holding up to your girl.
INSECURITY
ISTHEENEMY
When a partner has a close encounter of
the stylish kind-gets a hot new hairdo or a
sexy new wardrobe, works out or gets better
curves-a whole new world often opens up
for her. Whereas at one time you didn't have
to worry about your goddess finding greener
pastures, now you fear your hot mama will
run off with the milkmaid faster than you can
say "Damn, girl!" Remember, while the packaging has changed, the girl you loved before is
the same. With these changes come the positive energy that will propel her to do more
than she did before. Instead of tailing her and
hiding in the bushes to see if she's cheating,
thrust yourself bravely into her new world.
WHENTHECHANGE
COMES
DOWN
Do not act passive-aggressively. Don't "accidentally" leave your pack of smokes on the
table when she has kicked the habit. If she's
losing weight, stop with the 10-course dinners and the nasty looks when she nibbles on
her rabbit food. If she's in a 12-step program,
avoid stepping on her toes by interrogating
her about who was in attendance and what
was said. Ridiculing the program or her
progress creates negative energy that will
ultimately destroy the very thing you were
hoping to save.
INHERIT
THEEARTH
Some alterations are involuntary. When most
of us think of getting laid, we're not thinking
about getting laid off. You didn't think the
chemistry that attracted you to her would
have to withstand chemotherapy. But life
happens, and survival can depend on being
patient. Throw the old rules out the window.
For most of us, the times when we most need
to be open and talk frankly are the times when
our communication skills desert us. The first
step is to admit your fear to one another and
realize that these changes, while involuntary,
are happening to you both. You can handle
the tough times if you allow yourselves to
be vulnerable with one another. Ironically, it
is only through this weakness that you can
grow stronger.
LIS FORLEAP
Seeing others change can shatter our complacency and start paving over that rut we
thought was a comfortable life. Little else can
instill that kind of fear in us. It is instinctual
to want to hold on to the status quo rather
than throw caution to the wind. But if your
girl is tying on the bungee cord, you have to
choose whether to bounce with her or stand
on the platform alone.
Change with her. Be motivated by her
instead of competitive with her. When you
can no longer top her-because she's gotten
more buff than Jackie Warner-you
should
join her. Take your own odyssey of selfimprovement. As you get sober and fit, get a
new job, a bigger cup size or a greater sense of
spiritual peace in your life, your partnership
will strengthen as well. Two partners jumping into self-alteration mode at exactly the
same moment is about as likely as a simultaneous orgasm, but it is possible to join in,
catch up and enjoy the ride together. And
then, if things do fall apart, at least you will
emerge with a new identity, which is a great
prize indeed. ■
October 2009
I23
ADVICE Lipstick& Dipstick
Too Dirtyto Get Down
DearLipstickand Dipstick:I've beenwith my
girlfriendfor sevenyears.She'sa wonderful
person,but not very clean.She onlyshowers
andbrushesherteetha few timesa week.Her
excuse:She works full-time and has a long
commute,so she'stoo tired to cleanup. She
oftengoesout to the barswith friends,drinks
beer and gets into bed withoutbrushingher
teeth. It disgustsme. To make up for it, she
sometimes
brushesfor 30 minutes(sheclaims
shehasOCD).I wantto kissherandmakelove
to her everyday but I'm appalledby her bad
hygiene.I feel like I am just settlingfor her
becausethere is no one out therewho would
haveme.I am a totalcleanfreak.I showerand
brushmyteetheveryday.I knowshelovesme
andwoulddoanythingfor me,but do I haveto
settlefor herbadhygienejustto haveall that?
- Sickof theStank
Lipstick: Gross! This just
gives me the willies. Sicko,
you've been enabling this filthy
behavior by living with it for
seven years. Quite frankly, I
don't know how you've done
it. But, the bigger issue here
isn't that you've tolerated her
stinky stank-it's
that you
feel like no one else will have
you. What's up with that?
When she picks up a scrub
brush, you should pick up
the phone and call a therapist. Or check this book out
from the library: Breaking the
Chain of Low Self-Esteem by
Marilyn Sorensen. Until you
get a backbone and believe
you deserve better, I'm afraid
you're stuck with the funk.
Dipstick: Hold up there,
Lipstick. My guess is that
this isn't just about messiness.
Sicko, when your partner
does bathe, does she have a
ritual that she follows? I'm no
doctor, but if she really does
24
Icurve
have OCD she might have "requirements"
about how long she has to attend to each
body part, how many times the sponge passes
over each breast or maybe she has to line up
all the cleaning supplies alphabetically by
first ingredient. A routine like that can be
DearLipstickand Dipstick:My girl and I have
beentogetherfor fiveyears.Forthe lasttwo or
so,I haven'tbeenintoit likeshehas.I justdon't
wantto be with heranymore.
Whatcan I do to
getherto realizethis?I hav~triedin the pastto
tellherandit didn'twork.- OverHer
"AmI just settlingfor her becausethere
is no one out therethat wouldhaveme?"
psychologically exhausting. No wonder she
only wants to wash every few days! If it's not
OCD, it could be depression. Either way talk
to her and encourage her to see her doctor or
a therapist. I'm glad you're treating her with
more compassion than Lipstick is.
Dipstick:If it didn't work in the past, try a
new strategy. Tell her you're leaving, take
the cat, your Crock-Pot and the futonand move out. Unlike many things you do
as a couple, breaking up doesn't have to be a
joint decision.
Lipstick:This question epitomizes why so many lesbian
couples break up over and
over again. It's a toxic cocktail
known as the "Dyketini" -a
dysfunctional blend of indecision (you know what you need
to do but can't pull the trigger), codependency ( that's why
you're trigger-shy) and fear of
loneliness (also why you can't
bring yourself to break away).
Do yourself a favor, Over Her,
and honor what you're really
feeling. Then roll up your sleeves
and prepare yoursel£ because it's
time to do the work. That means
telling her it's over and then
standing by it. Clean cuts heal
far more quickly than slowly
inflicted jagged wounds. ■
Want help with your problem?
Want to be on The Lipstick &
Dipstick Show? Dro a line to
tv@lipstickdipstick.com.
The Sex Wars Contd.
When Lipstick and Dipstick told "Miserable in Maple Grove" [Vol. 19 #4] that looking at lesbian porn could be part of
a healthy sex life, not a dirty secret, it set off a small .debate we like to call The Sex Wars Circa 2009. Here's part of
the debate for you. Go to curvemag.com and tell us what you think, too.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: "Miserable
in Maple Grove" began by saying she
and her partner were not having sex
and were fighting a lot, and that when
she, Maple, had started looking at porn
it made her feel "guilty and more lonely
and depressed than ever." Dipstick told
her that if her partner didn't feel like
having sex, she should look at porn and
masturbate, and that "there is nothing
wrong with porn." Lipstick told her to
get over her "issues" around porn in
counseling because of her "shame."
I am astonished that Lipstick and
Dipstick could turn relationship trouble
into an advertisement for porn and
practically say that lesbians should like
porn, and if they don't they are crazy!
I have had the great good fortune
to never be in a relationship where
my partner has said, "Oh honey, you
have the flu and don't feel like having
sex? No problem, I'll just look at some
pictures of girls who are way hotter than
you and jack off. Aren't you glad we
are so sexually healthy?" Geez, even
my ex-husband was sensitive enough
to understand that many women are a
tad threatened by pornography. Maybe
it is a femme thing, but I have to walk
this earth every day being compared to
an idealized and impossible-to-attain
version of beauty, a version that is often
portrayed in porn. And porn doesn't
turn me on, it usually makes me feel
bad. Even though Lipstick and Dipstick
would disagree, I don't think I'm crazy.
I think a lot of women are glad their
partners don't flaunt pornography in
their faces and tell them they need
counseling if they don't like it.
And Dipstick, is there really nothing
wrong with porn? Nothing at all? Even
the fact that most women who are
posing for your pleasure were sexually
abused as children? That right there is
a big turn-off for many women ... Let's
take care of one another, not impose
our sexual likes on others as the only
game in town. And when people write
in about being "lonely in their relationship," I hope Lipstick and Dipstick will
focus on how that could be made better. It's unlikely that pornography will do
much to enrich their relationship.
- Sunshine in California
Lipstick:Sunshine in California, thank
you for writing in. You made some
really good points. Beyond touching
on porn, I did address her relationship problems. I told Miserable to get
her butt into therapy because there
is a reason they've stopped having
sex, a reason her partner's shut down.
Encouraging her to also discuss her
guilt around looking at pornography
(of her own volition, I might add, not
because some guy shoved it down her
throat or Lipstick and Dipstick told her
to do so) is also a real issue here. She
went to those sites and then felt shame
around it. That shame, and wherever
it stems from, is also playing into her
relationship. As advice columnists, we
hear from a lot of women who feel way
too much guilt around sexuality-in
the world, in the bedroom and in their
minds. I believe women, unless they're
doing or supporting something that is
illegal, or will hurt someone, need to
lighten up about sex and all the colorful
flags that hang from it. Finally, it was
Lipstick and Dipstick whom Miserable
wrote into, not Dr. Laura. And it is
Lipstick and Dipstick whom readers are
reading, not a column by Dr. Phil. They
walk into the Lipstick and Dipstick fire
knowing we have strong opinions, often make light of things,
dig our teeth into specific issues
and spank bottoms. (Just to
clarify that last statement, Sunny,
I wasn't encouraging women to
practice S/M. Or wait, maybe I
was.)
Dipstick:Sunshine touched on
an age-old debate, didn't she?
Is pornography just another way
to oppress women, or is it freeing and sexually liberating? Will
lesbians and feminists ever agree
on this? Probably not, because
like most things, it's not black
and white, good or evil, right
or wrong. Just because some
rock songs are misogynistic and
homophobic doesn't mean that
all music is.
Though many lesbians who
make porn for women weren't
sexually abused, I won't argue
that many women involved in the
sex industry in general were abused
as children. That's because so many
women were sexually abused-period.
In fact, the national nonprofit Darkness
to Light estimates, conservatively no
doubt, that one in four women are
sexually abused before they turn 18.
We all have reasons to feel bad about
our sexuality, whether it be abuse,
homophobia, poor body image or
religious indoctrination. Lipstick and
Dipstick are advocating that women
take control of their sexuality and feel
good about it. There's no need to feel
guilt or shame about masturbation
when your partner is not available.
If porn turns you on, go for it. If it
doesn't, that's OK, too. What we want
is for every woman to be empowered
about her satisfaction. Maybe one day
we'll get there and we'll all walk naked
in the sunshine with you, California.
October 2009
I25
ADVICE Money
ShapingUp YourNet Worth
Ten steps toward improving your financial fitness. By Nina Lary
For years, Marcia Brixey had a job with
a decent salary, excellent benefits and a
great office, but nothing much about the
job itself made her happy. The only part of
being a public relations specialist for the
Social Security Administration that Brixey
enjoyed was helping women-attending
financial conferences and speaking to women's
groups about the importance of supplemental savings. After almost a decade of being
dissatisfied, she quit her job and founded
Money Wi$e Women, a financial education
organization for women. Brixey's latest book,
The Money Therapist: A Womans Guide
to Creating a Healthy Financial Life (sealpress.com), offers a ton of good advice for
women who want to get wise about their
money. Here are 10 ways you can start:
1. Determine
yourgoals.Do you want to get
out of debt:' Buy a new car or a house:' Travel:'
Start an education fund for you or your
kids:' Write down your financial goals using
affirmative language, such as "I will do X, Y
and z:• Brixey emphasizes the importance
of"SMART" goals-goals that are Specific,
Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timebased. Set reasonable deadlines for achieving
your financial goals, and meet them.
2.Writeanactionplan.This could be the single
most important document in your financial
portfolio. Action plans can be broken down
into short-term and long-term categories.
Start by listing a corresponding action or
two alongside each of your goals to help nail
down practical ways to reach them.
or buying a home safe to store your financial
inventory and other irreplaceable documents, such as your will, power of attorney,
property deeds and insurance policies.
5. Trackyourpurchases.
Track all your spending for one week, then analyze it for potential
reductions. Try not to spend less than you
usually would. The idea isn't to alter your
spending yet, but to get a true picture of
your spending habits.
3. Cleanout yourcloset.Toss out all unnecessary paperwork, including tax documents
that are more than seven years old. Organize
the paperwork you need to hold on to, and
keep these files neat.
6. Breakdownyour budget.Brixey likes to
call it a "spending plan;' because that focuses
on what you do get to spend instead of
what you don't. Whatever you want to call
it, a budget is an essential component of any
financial plan. Don't be overly restrictive
at first or willpower may crumble the way it
does on a crash diet.
4. Createa financialinventory.In a single
document, list the names, addresses, phone
and account numbers of all your financial
accounts. Consider renting a safe deposit box
7. Clear up your credit. Order your credit
report and analyze it for any inaccuracies.
Settle delinquent accounts and dear up any
errors. Call all your credit card companies
26
Icurve
and ask for better interest rates. You'll be
surprised at how many will comply.
8. Set up savings.If you don't already have
them, set up a savings, an IRA and an emergency fund account. Using an auto-transfer
from your primary bank account every
month helps you stash money away without
even trying.
9. Be preparedfor the inevitable.If you don't
already have one, write a will. Make sure all
your insurance policies are current and the
beneficiary information is correct on all your
insurance and financial accounts.
10. Continue
yourfinancialeducation.Set up
a time with a financial expert in your area
to go over a list of any financial questions
you have. If you can, find an advisor who
understands the specific financial needs that
lesbians (and lesbian couples) have. Make a
plan to continue your financial education,
such as attending a conference or budgeting
money for books on finance. ■
Health ADVICE
Kim Kardashian Gets You Fit
Workouts that firm without the fuss. By Katie Peoples
Celebutante, fashion entrepreneur and proud owner of that famous
booty, Kim Kardashian is breaking out with a new kind of tape-several of them, in fact. And lesbian fans are lining up to see 'em.
Her new line of workout DVDs, Fit in Your Jeans by Friday, is a
no-nonsense, practical way to get the curves you want without
worrying about tricky moves or expensive equipment.
"Every day, I try to do squats and core work, lots of sit-ups,
different stuff I can do without fitness equipment," says the
curvaceous brunette.
The new DVDs are based on Kardashian's personal workout regimen, which she's tailored to her busy, jet-setting lifestyle.
Between her boutique, Dash, and her E! reality show, Keeping Up With
the Kardashians, this lady is on the go. When she's in town, she hits the
treadmill and cardio at the gym. But, she says, dieting isn't part of her
fitness routine.
"I can't stick to a diet-I've tried. I just don't diet," she says. "I mean,
I should diet. I'm trying to figure something out, but I just don't."
The DVDs are timely, considering that Kardashian came out earlier
this year to defend her weight in the tabloids. Several gossip mags ran
stories claiming that she wears plus size clothes-which
says a lot about
Hollywood beauty standards, since Kardashian is a size 2. Her body
image has been the topic of many an issue of Us Weekly, to the point
that Kardashian actually posed for Life & Style Weekly"in a bikini-without
airbrushing-to
show the world what she really looks like. Frustrated with
the media for spreading false information, Kardashian released a statement
on her blog taking the gossip mags to task. Her measurements are even
posted on her blog.
"I just get a little bit frustrated ... when they misinform and put [out] the
wrong kind of information, but I think everyone should be happy with themselves, no matter what size," she says. "And if [they aren't], they have the
choice to do what they can to change it. Work out, go to the gym."
Like her famous tush, that's advice we can get behind. ■
WANT MORE WORKOUTS?
Go to curvemag.com for our take on
the hottest fitness DVDs, including
Hemalayaa: Bol/ywood Dance
Workouts and Fitness for Beginners
I TRIED
IT
So, You Think You're Funny?
Pick up the mic, you might just bring down the house! By Laurie K. Schenden
Butterflies, I expected-but no one said anything about butt flutters.
I'm about to step up to the microphone at
the Hudson Theater in Hollywood, Cali£,
and instead of concentrating on a killer intro,
I'm preoccupied with an unexpected trembling in the seat of my pants.
Is it visible? It's so distracting that the last
minute pep talk from my comedy advisor
sounds like it's taking place underwater. At
this moment I accept that I will never, ever,
make it as a standup comic. A secret, lifelong
dream has been shattered.
But wait, chucklehead. Fear, insists Judy
Carter, is a comic's friend. The inability to
mouth a coherent sentence onstage is not only
humiliating, it might also lay the foundation
for a comedy routine. But before racing over
to a TonightShow taping, I have a lot to learn.
Carter is a nationally known comic, the
author of The ComedyBibleand the leader of a
free Sunday afternoon workshop for standup
hopefuls. She was a regular in comedy
venues from the Improv to Caesar's Palace in
Atlantic City, N.J. She's been on Oprah and
Good Morning America. Now she's traveling
the world, giving hilarious and empowering
motivational speeches and teaching standup
comedy to pros and novices alike, through the
2s
Icurve
site Comedy Workshops.com.
Sure, she's got it all together
now, with a fabulous career,
a wife and a house in Venice
Beach complete with a family
of assorted four-legged creatures. But life wasn't always
so cushy for Carter. She was
a geeky, unpopular kid with a
speech impediment who came
from a dysfunctional family.
And she's not afraid to use it.
Audiences like comics who
reveal bad news about themselves, Carter explains-"the
stuff you normally don't tell
people, things that should not
be funny:'
Julia Sweeney's one-woman
show is an example. The award-winning God
Said,Ha! is based on the period in Sweeney's
life when she and her brother got cancer
simultaneously. What could be less funny
than that? (The hit show also became a book
and a film.)
Carter efficiently pulls punch lines out of
any topic our group dishes up. Her tips play
like the dos and don'ts of standup comedy.
Carter asks if anyone hasn't had a turn at
the mic. Four of us raise our hands. I'm last.
I look out at the crowded theater like a deer
caught in the headlights. Carter throws me
a lifeline, asking about my childhood. Since
I am the middle child and the mediator in
the family, she suggests that I play psychologist and analyze my siblings. It could've been
simple, like, "Barbie, tell me how it feels when
our brother spits in your hair:' But my head is
empty. And I once majoredin psychology.
Carter mercifully uses this mental vacancy
as a "teaching moment;' taking the attention
off me. "Comedy is going to that uncomfortable place;' she explains. 'i\nd people can
relate to that:'
As everyone files out of the theater, many
inquire about the eight-week workshop (also
open to out-of-towners). These in-depth sessions culminate in a gig at the Hollywood
Improv and include a DVD of the performance.
When I stop to thank Carter, she cheerfully puts an arm around my shoulders. My
experience is not uncommon, she assures
me, adding that my reaction haunts even the
most seasoned comics.
"You were everyone's biggest fear;' she says
with a smile.
I took that as a vote of confidence. ■
Carter's Tips for More Har Hars
•
•
Focusonthe audience,
notyourself.Practicereplacingthe word"I" with "you."
Insteadof saying"I hateit
when... " say,"Don'tyouhate
it when... " Themostcommon
topicsin standupcomedyrevolvearoundregular,everyday
stuff:beingsingle,losinga job,
gainingweight,growingolder.
Ourvenuehasan eclecticmix
of young,old,men,women,gay,
straight.Wendall,a 40-ishman,
confidentlystepsto the mic.
"I belongto the groupof
middle-aged,
whitegaymales,
whoforgotto becomewealthy
andfabulous."
Thecrowdlovesit. There
aren'tmanygaymenin the
room,yetthe audiencerelatesto
Wendall.
,!·:. \.:..
' »
Understand
the group
withwhomyouidentify.
"Knowingthattellsyouwhoto
marketto, whatto buildyour
setaround.I havegigsscheduled
acrossthe
countryfor womenin my [50-something]
age
group,"saysCarter.
'
e
Don'toppressthe
oppressed.
Jokesaboutwomen
over40 or othergroupswhoaretypically
victimsof humorcanputaudiences
on the
defensive,
andyouwantthemon yourside.
TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
Susan·Love
The women's health advocate raised an army to fight breast cancer. By Katie Peoples
Dr. Susan Love has been a tireless advocate
for breast cancer research and women's participation in their own health for three decades.
A practicing surgeon, she got her start as chief
resident at Beth Israel Hospital in Boston in
1979. Her book, Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book,
is considered the bible of breast health, and she
is the founder of the Dr. Susan Love Research
Foundation. Most recently she has teamed
up with the Avon Foundation for Women
to form the Love/ Avon Army of Women.
She and her partner Helen Cooksley have a
21-year-old daughter named Katie.
1. She loves boobs.As one of the first
people to encourage women to be involved
in their own medical treatment, Love has
helped bring breast cancer to
the forefront of women's health
concerns.
2. She'sa sciencegeekand she
wantsyouto be one,too. Love's
Army of Women aims to
bring research volunteers and
researchers together. However,
she says, "The challenge is not to
get women to sign up. The challenge is to get scientists to use
the army:!
3. She's a great teacher.Not
only can she teach brainiacs at
Harvard and UCLA, but she
can also discuss breast cancer in
layman's terms.
4. She gets the Hollywoodelite
involved.At the fifth anniversary celebration of the Avon
Comprehensive Breast Center at
San Francisco General Hospital,
Reese Witherspoon, the honorary chairman of the Avon
Foundation for Women, was so
inspired by Love that she signed
up for the Army of Women on
the spot, as No. 278,027. "Today
I'm proud to say I'm signing up for the Love/
Avon Army of Women;' said Witherspoon.
Other famous women who've signed on
as "ambassadors" include celesbians Suze
Orman and Leisha Hailey.
are news reports about new risk factors or
other links to breast cancer. But, Love says,
80 percent of all women diagnosed have no
known risk factors. All the more reason to
get your mammograms!
5. She'sdetermined
to seeprogress
in thefight 7. Butshedoesn'tscareyou.While lesbians
againstbreastcancer.When she was a young
have high rates of breast cancer, and breast
doctor, she explains, an abnormal PAP smear
cancer is the second-highest
cause of
meant a hysterectomy. Now, she says, we cancer deaths in the United States, Love is
oddly comforting to talk to about this disknow that the human papaloma virus causes
ease. Perhaps it's because she's so passionate
cervical cancer and we have a vaccination
for it. Why can't the same be true for breast
about finding a cure that one is left feeling
cancer? "We can be the generation to eradiempowered and inspired, not discouraged
and hopeless.
cate breast cancer;' she says.
6. She'srealistic.
It seems that every day there
8. She wants messywomen."We need to
do research on women;' she
says, "messy women:' The way
science is done in the United
States, says Love, gets in the
way of answering big questions. It's time to shift research
away from animals like rats that
present predictable results and
toward women. And she means
all women, including lesbian,
bisexual and trans women. Even
trans men need to be studied,
because testosterone has been
linked to breast cancer.
9. She gets results.Since the
inception of the Army of Women
last year, over 250,000 volunteers
have been recruited worldwide,
and Love's research foundation
has awarded $900,000 in pilot
grants since 1998. Dr. Susan
Love's Menopause and Hormone
Book was one of the first to call
attention to the link between
cancer and the widespread use of
hormone replacement therapy in
postmenopausal women.
10.Howcanyounotlovea lesbian
namedDr.Love?■
October 2009
I29
DYKE
DRAMA
How to Builda BetterQueer
Is having queer-savvy parents really that important? By Michele Fisher
It doesn't look like any of my sister's kids
are gay. She and I scrutinize their behavior for signs while they play and go about
their daily routines, but, so far, we can't find
a queer among them. We had a glimmer of
hope once when we noticed that one of her
sons couldn't sleep until he'd put all his toys
away in their correct places, but then we
figured out he just had OCD, not homosexuality. "Maybe one of them will be bi;'
I told my sister the other day. "Maybe;' she
responded wistfully.
My sister thinks it's a shame that some gay
kid out there is going to be born to parents
who are clueless, while she and her husband
would love to nurture a little homo. I don't
know. Our parents didn't seem to notice that
I was a dyke, even though my sister swears I
was an obvious gaybo from the first trimester, but I am none the worse for it. My sister
is convinced that more enlightened parenting
would have vastly improved my childhood.
But it's hard for me to feel too sorry for
myself. When I was a kid, the best you could
hope for was that your parents would turn a
blind eye to your obvious signs of homosexuality. My parents had gay glaucoma where
I was concerned, so I feel like I lucked out.
I could have been one of those horror stories of abandonment and abuse, rather than
just a lost little dork. Would my life have
been that different if my parents had realized I was going to be gay and nurtured me
accordingly:'
I suppose if my folks had noticed I was
gay they might have warned me not to chase
the prettiest girl in my class in the second
grade. They might have advised that I let
her come to me. That way, I wouldn't have
had to spend that school year taking her
dares, to the amusement of the entire class,
and giving her the dessert out of my lunch
every day, because my parents would have
explained to me that she was just a little
"dyke tease" in training.
I guess I wouldn't have felt the need to
hide my Charlie's Angels stuff in the bottom
drawer of my dresser; instead, I would have
30
I curve
displayed it proudly. And Dad and I could
have bonded over having the Farrah Fawcett
vs. Cheryl Ladd debate after we watched the
show on Wednesday nights.
My mother and I wouldn't have had all
those silly arguments about that girl Lisa,
who was a bad influence on me when I was
12. Looking back, it's a safe bet that my mom
and Lisa's mom had a pretty good idea of
what was going on between us-even if we
didn't. We just knew that we loved spending
time together and hated it when one of us
had to go home, even though we were way
-.•.
•
past the age where we were supposed to be
making a fuss about having to go home. I
knew we were acting suspicious, but I didn't·
seem to be able to act "normal:' Lisa's mom
worked late and she never seemed to know
how many cigarettes she was supposed to
have or how many beers were supposed to be
left in the refrigerator, but she sure seemed
to know how many cute boys there were in
our class and which ones would be perfect
for Lisa. I hated it when her mom would talk
about boys, especially when she was drunk
and sloppy and would talk way too close to
Best Domestic
Gay Resort Town
-2006,2007,2008,
If my parentshad nurturedmy gayness,I wouldnot
havehad to waste allof that time pretendingto care
aboutwhat the othergirlscaredabout in orderto
get closerto them. I wouldhave
been able to tellthem that if
theywantedto hangwith me,
they couldfindme readingan
age-inappropriate
book in the
bleacherswiththe othernerds.
my face. When my mom finally forbade me
from hanging out with Lisa, because of the
booze and ciggies, I was angrier than I had
ever been. And sadder, too. Sure, I was a
tween, and I probably would have been miserable no matter what, but I was a hot mess
of snot and hormones that entire summer.
If Mom had just told me that Lisa was not
going to be "the one;' but that she was welcome to come over to our house whenever
she wanted, I probably would have engaged
in some awkward petting with her on my
twin bed, and her drunk mother would
have come over and threatened to kick my
parents' asses for trying to turn her daughter into a dyke. Then my parents would
have called the police and Lisa would have
been taken by CPS and, well, I guess things
would have turned out basically the same.
If my parents had nurtured my gayness,
I would not have had to waste all that time
pretending to care about what the other girls
cared about in order to get closer to them.
I would have been able to tell them in the
fourth grade that I hated tetherball almost as
much as I hated dolls, and if they wanted to
hang with me, they could find me reading an
age-inappropriate book in the bleachers with
the other nerds.
If my parents had recognized what was
up with me, I could have been saved from
countless embarrassing episodes between
the age of 5 and 14, when my two best coping
mechanisms were swearing and lying. I did
them both all day, every day. "Fuck this;' I
told my classmates when we were learning
our multiplication tables."! am already doing
'triggermometry' after school with my uncle,
who teaches at Harvard:' I lied and cursed
my way all through grammar school and
middle school. By high school, I recognized
that swearing was fine, but lyin'g was giving
me all kinds of unnecessary stress. I decided
to confine myself to lying only when motivated by self-preservation. Like when my
best friend, the prom queen, asked me if I
would like to double date with her, and I said
"yes;' instead of saying that I would really
much rather spend the evening alone with
her in the backseat of my Toyota.
And that's another thing. If my parents
had just told me I was gay, I wouldn't have
wasted all those Friday and Saturday nights
on fake-ass dates with boys. I know I could
have just stayed home, but I was gay, not a
loser. And I'm not going to lie (really)it wasn't that awful. Being a teenager is all
about breaking the rules and driving your
parents nuts, and fooling around with boys
did satisfy both those crucial requirements.
So, I guess knowing earlier that I was gay
wouldn't have been all that helpful. I may
have turned to drugs or gambling, instead of
sex, and ended up face down in an alley or in
the trunk of a Town Car.
After pondering the matter for a while, I
had to tell my sister that although it would
have been swell to have had enlightened parents, in my case, I don't think it would have
made a whole lot of difference. ■
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POLITICS
CivilUnionsAren'tCivilRights
Same-sex couples remain separate and unequal. By Victoria A. Brownworth
About 15 years ago, I wrote a column for
curve about marriage. I said I thought marriage was bad for everyone, especially women,
and that lesbians and gay men should stop
fighting for marriage equality. I tossed the
military issue in for good measure as "Don't
Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT) had recently been
signed into law, followed soon after by the
Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).
My argument then was that marriage and
the military were oppressive institutions. I
thought embracing them was a mistake.
My feelings about marriage and the military
remain conflicted. Gay men and lesbians who
are willing to put their lives on the line for
America should not be treated as shameful
secrets. No one would ask a person of color
to wear whiteface throughout their military service,
yet that is what is expected
of queers in the military.
DADT creates a situation
where lies and pretense are
the norm and queer servicetheir children would
men and women have to live
receive the death benin fear of being outed as well
efits their marriage
as losing their lives.
allows. Whichever
As for marriage, not
spouse died first
everyone wants to marry. And I remain
would inherit the other's assets.
unconvinced that the state should be
Those are just a handful of the 1,400 or so
involved in our personal relationships. But benefits that come with legal, federally-and
since marriage is available to all heterosexuals state-sanctioned
marriage. Civil unions
under any circumstance-even a drunken one- don't begin to cover the breadth of civil
night stand in Las Vegas-it should also be an rights that marriages do. And what's more,
option for all lesbians and gay men.
civil unions aren't available to all gay men and
I've written repeatedly about marriage
lesbians, either. I live in Pennsylvania where
equality in the past few years. Most of that
neither queer civil unions nor queer marriage
writing has been for the mainstream press
are legal.
and as a consequence has been explanatory:
Recently, friends have told me that I am
Why is marriage equality important? Why
being "insensitive" to the president on queer
aren't civil unions enough?
civil rights issues. Others have told me I am
According to President Barack Obama,
"over-wrought" on the issue and that he has
civil unions are enough for lesbians and gay "more important" issues to tackle first. Still
men. And yet Barack and Michelle are in a others have told me that the president is
marriage, not a civil union. They file a joint
"biding his time" until he can make the right
tax return, get the tax breaks that come move on both DOMA and DADT.
with a marriage, get the spousal benefits of
Here's what I know. I have been personsocial security. If either spouse should die, ally hurt and financially damaged by not
32
Icurve
being able to marry. So have the two women
I wanted to marry.
My ex and I bought a house together. If
we had been married, both our names would
have been on the mortgage, even though as a
writer my income fluctuated. (My sister was
pregnant and not working when she and her
husband bought their house-no
problem
with having her on the mortgage though,
because she was married.)
Now, a decade after my ex and I split, I am
still paying the mortgage on the house we
bought together as I always did. I still live in
it. But that house is in her name. And she
has to pay taxes on it as if it were a second
home, while I get no tax benefit from it, can't
refinance and can't get a home equity loan on
it to make necessary repairs.
So, don't tell me it doesn't matter if you
can't marry.
My current partner and· I have been
together for almost 10 years. We would
like to get married, but, of course, we can't
because it isn't legal in our state. As a consequence, our incomes are depleted by having
to pay extra health insurance premiums as
well as extra taxes. Neither of us can access
the other's Social Security if one of us dies.
When we each have had medical crises in
recent years, we've had to explain our rela~
tionship repeatedly to doctors and hospital
staff and hope for the best.
Don't tell me separate is equal. Don't
expect me to believe that our president,
who grew up with the inequities that are a
product of racism, doesn't have an exquisite
comprehension of what discrimination is. I
might have believed that of John McCain. I
do not believe it of Barack Obama, son of
an African immigrant and a white teenager
from Kansas. After all, Loving v. Virginia,
the U.S. Supreme Court ruling overturning
laws against mixed~race marriages, wasn't
passed until 1967-six years after Obama
was born.
Ironically, Obama's administration chose
the 42nd anniversary of the Loving decision
to file a brief on DOMA. The same man who,
as a candidate, said he would work to overturn
the repressive law implicitly supported the
brie£ which compared same~sex marriage to
incest and pedophilia.
Civil rights battles are long, hard and
unenviable. Certainly Mildred and Richard
Loving knew that. So does every gay and
lesbian couple in the United States. If you
want to marry, you can't in 44 states. And
even if you were married in one of the six
states where same~sex marriage is legal,
or are one of the 18,000 gay or lesbian
couples married in California when it was
legal, your marriage isn't recognized by the
federal government.
Obama owes the gay and lesbian com~
munity. He owes us for our votes, which
made the difference in his being elected. But
mostly, he owes us for history. As the first
African American president, Obama knows
better than any president in American history
what it is to be the victim of policies that say
separate is equal, what it is to have people
promote stereotypes about you, what it is to
be marginalized when you are just as valuable
and as true an American as everyone else.
Last November, I voted for change and
for hope. But nearly a year after the election,
nothing has changed and I have lost hope. I
am as unequal under the law as ever, and so is
every other lesbian and gay man. ■
see what
it can do!
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ea Boogna
An American
lesbian finds
community
in Italy.
By Stephanie
Schroeder
Clockwise from
left: Bologna's
impressive vista;
local flags; the
author (right) with
Antonia Ciavarella
Ever the Virgo, I was planning my fifth house swap
on the heels of my return from London, already itching
for my next adventure. Thrifty, as always, I contacted
potential home exchangers from Berlin to Geneva and
Barcelona to Prague on sites like Craigslist and exchangezones.com, but it was a photo of a studio apartment in
Bologna onJewettStreet.com that caught my eye.
Bologna. Ir seemed idyllic from the descriptions and photos
sent by the occupant of said studio, a woman a few years my
junior. I had doubts at first because: I didn't know anyone
there, I planned to travel alone and I was well aware that most
residents probably would not speak much, if any, English. But
I decided these challenges would be part of the mystique of
my journey.
Then I heard that my friend filmmaker Pratibha Parmar
was at Bologna's Gender Bender Festival last year. She
connected me to some Italian sisters and, by the time my trip
rolled around, I was in touch with a Bologna local, Antonia
Ciavarella. Antonia, who is involved in lesbian-feminist and
local leftist politics and arts organizing, was the force behind
bringing Pratibha to the Soggettiva program ( women's
section) at Gender Bender.
Before I knew it, I was meeting Antonia beneath the statue of
Neptune in the Piazza Maggiore. We spoke about our mutual
friend, lesbian-feminism and the arts. She spoke English fairly
well, but hardly understood my rapid speech. She was obviously over my Brooklynese by the time we met her best friend
for a pizza dinner. Fortunately for her, Maria is an English
literature professor in a small city outside Bologna near
the Alps. Fortunately for me, Antonia did not hold my
quicksilver tongue against me and got me the lowdown on
several events happening in Bologna while I was in town.
We went to see eco-feminist Vandana Shiva at the
Italian Women's Library one afternoon. The same
evening we attended Divergenti, an international trans
34
I curve
film festival where many of the same individuals we had
seen at Shiva's talk were also in attendance. The trans film
event was extremely important for the queer community,
as it was an international commemoration of 40 years of
Stonewall and 30 years of Movimento Identita Transessuale.
Ir was a blending of the lesbian and trans communities
Bologna had not previously seen.
Of course, lesbians are lesbians are lesbians, the whole world
over so if you're thinking of escaping the dyke drama, forget
it now. But there are some distinct differences between the
Bologna lesbians and the ones you know back home. While
Stone Butch Blues is on bookshelves, Antonia told me that
lesbian-feminist writers like Adrienne Rich and Audre Lorde
have still not been translated into Italian. In Bologna this
means the lesbian community is tied to feminist politics in
particular, and leftist political and arts organizing in general.
The term arci serves as an overarching category for arts and
culture in the city-there is Arcigay, the Italian lesbian and
gay association and ArciLesbica (arcilesbica.ir/bologna).
Generally arci also often indicates some aspect of anarchism,
a movement that holds a historical place in the city's political
milieu. Bologna was a communist bastion of revolutionary
movement, and leftist thinking is still very much present in
the culture there. The city was even the home to the first
university in the Western world. Today Antonia's neighborhood, Il Pratello, houses students, artists, organizers, radicals
and revolutionaries still influenced by Bologna's Red history.
On my final day I bought my last cappuccino and brioche
breakfast and went to Cassero, the local gay and lesbian
community center. I met with Antonia, Elisa Manici, Daniele
De Pozzo, the artistic director of Gender Bender, and Marco
Urizzi, a paid consultant for Soggettiva. (As usual, the
lesbians are all volunteers and don't make a dime.) Roughly
translated soggettiva means "subjective:' This group brings curBella Bologna continued on page 64
LESBA
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made
In November, two thousand lesbians set sail from New Orleans for the
Western Caribbean on Sweet's revolutionary maiden voyage. Sure,
lesbian-exclusive vacations have been around for a long time, but Sweet
adds a whole new dimension with its groundbreaking and fun
volunteer excursions.
"Take a catamaran party cruise on Tuesday, lie on the beach sipping a
margarita on Wednesday, protect sea turtle habitat on Thursday and swim
with the dolphins on Friday," Shannon Wentworth, Sweet CEO and
founding partner, said during a recent sit-down over a cup of fair trade
coffee at World Grounds. "And every night, there's a phenomenal show
followed by a hot dance party."
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For Sweet, it's all about dicing huge global
problems into bite-sized, community-building
projects. "Everything we do combines fun with
social and environmental responsibility,"
Wentworth said. "That's Sweet." And if you're
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"That's totally Sweet, too. You can feel good
knowing wonderful, vitally necessary things are
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The Sweet Caribbean Cruise, Nov. 8-15, 2009, is
the largest lesbian cruise ever. It's also the only
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one of them
designed to be "extremely fun and profoundly
meaningful," said Wentworth, who scouted the
projects in April. "It's so empowering and energizing
to know that we can make a huge difference in a
short period of time."
Sweet projects include a reef cleanup for scuba
divers, dedicating a children's library at an underprivileged school, repainting a children's hospital
ward and a huge beach cleanup party.
Think there's no way a cruise could be eco-friendly?
Get ready to dance the night away with six of the
Think again. Sweet offsets all the carbon created
world's best lesbian DJs on board, DJ Dirty Kurty,
by all of its travel operations through a partnership
Club Skirt's DJ Kathy V, DJ Ms. Jackson, DJ
with CarbonFund.org.
Tatiana, DJ Trina J and, all the way from Paris,
Sweet boasts an incredible roster of out comedians
babes of Babeland will be on board to host sex
and musicians for the cruise, like the legendary
workshops, sell their wares and provide sexy prizes.
Disco Bambina. And if that's not hot enough, the
(and "funny as hell") Suzanne Westenhoefer, Erin
Foley, Sandra Valls, Gloria Bigelow, Kate McKinnon,
Dismal economic news be damned. Sweet offers
Chantal Carrere and Amy Tee and singer-songwriters
third and fourth guests free in a cabin as well
Edie Carey, Jen Foster, Melange Lavonne, Adrianne
as a no-fee, no-interest 12-month payment plan.
and Natalia Zukerman. She's also thrilled to have
That makes the cruise $36 per person per
out celebrities on the ship such as Jill Bennett and
month for foursomes, $48 for threesomes and $71
Cathy DeBuono, stars of "And Then Came Lola" and
for twosomes.
the hit webseries "We Have to Stop Now," plus fitness trainer Shawnee Harkins from "Dr. Phil,"
"Ask for time off. Call your dog sitter. Get a new
the cast of AfterEllen's "Cherry Bomb," Curve
bikini," Wentworth said. "And get on board."
magazine's Lipstick and Dipstick and Natalie Garcia
and Meghan Hall from AfterEllen's "Nat & Meg's
Learn more about Sweet at DiscoverSweet.com
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Sti Ta
••••••••
ur
Berlin's iconic• singer Terri Nunn on sex,
freedom and her new CD.
By Laurie K. Schenden
ath Away
Before there was Lady Gaga, today's pop It-girl, there was Terri Nunn,
lead vocalist for the iconic new wave band Berlin. Unapologetically sexy
and sporting a serious set of pipes, Nunn explored-and subverted-sex,
fantasy and gender roles in her lyrics. Throughout her career, this daring
and original chanteuse has taken calculated risks that have put her ahead of
the curve and endeared her to a generation of queers. Her music has rocked
the gay club scene ever since Berlin became an international sensation over
two decades ago.
Berlin became a mainstream phenomenon in 1986 with "Take My
Breath Away" (which appeared on the soundtrack for Top Gun), but it was
their 1982 underground favorite "Sex (I'm a ... );' a risque track that was
banned from many Top 40 stations for its controversial lyrics, that made
the band a bona fide LGBT fave.
The song, a duet that explores sexual identity, highlights how the roles
women play are much more varied than those played by men. It also
famously hinted at the possibility of Nunn's sexual fluidity. In the third
chorus Nunn asks introspectively, ''.AmI bit Ever since, queer gals everywhere have wondered what the answer was.
"The thing I regret most in my sexuality is not being right out front with
whomever I was attracted [to] about what I like;' says the 48-year-old, candidly. Recalling her three-month relationship with another woman, Nunn
says it was "one of the best experiences I ever had. She taught me more
about myself as a woman than I ever could learn any other way. It's because
of her that I realized how amazing I am as a woman. If a woman touches
me now, I know what they're touching because I've had her and it was
fucking unbelievable!"
Ironically, the relationship ended because the other woman was feeling
an emotional connection and Nunn was only in it for sex. "I was kind of
like a guy;' says Nunn. "I was just so in lust with her. I loved her body:'
When asked what type of woman she's attracted to, the petite vegetarian
insists that it's anyone who is not like her, physically or otherwise. "I like
voluptuous women, with hips, with padding on them. I like an ass;' she
says with emphasis. "That's such a turn-on. And as for her turn-offs: 'Tm a
little over-ambitious. I don't find that necessarily sexy;' she adds thoughtfully.''I'd be attracted to a woman who has a little more time in her life:'
"Sex is so weird and outrageous anyway, why not have fun with it?"
she asks. "(At first] I thought, 'What kind of girl am I to want that?' But
that was just stupid, to judge mysel£ When I had fantasies, at 13, of being
spanked, [I thought], oh my God, what am I thinking? I'm a strong woman
and that's not very strong. It took me until I was fucking 20-almost 30before I told anyone. Now it's like, 'Fuck yeah! Harder!"' she laughs.
Nunn has been married for 11 years, and it works, she says, because
"we're not in cages:' She and her husband, Paul Spear, a lawyer, have a
"one-time" agreement, if they absolutely have to have someone. But so far,
because of that agreement, she believes, neither has taken advantage of the
freedom. "There have been maybe two times that I thought about it, but,
Step Aside, Nancy Grace
TV anchor Jane Velez-Mitchell on sobriety, sexuality, landing her
dream job and trying to change the world. By Katrina Fox
Unsurprisingly, with their popularity in
the LGBT community, Nunn and Berlin
have become fixtures at Pride and other
queer events around the country, and this
year Nunn headlined the Los Angeles LGBT
Pride festival.
"It's just a blast, man!" says Nunn of Pride,
explaining that she especially loves the "combination of outrageousness and absolute
safety;' that the events offer. "There's a nonviolence amidst the craziness. It's all about peace
and love, man, and that to me is heaven!"
Nunn, who is No. 11 on VHl's list of
the 100 Greatest Women in Rock & Roll,
somehow juggles her rock star life with
motherhood-she
has a 4-year-old daughter
and two teenage stepsons. She squeezed in
a chat with curve between driving to pick
up her daughter Natalie from daycare and
putting the finishing touches on her latest
CD/DVD, shot at the House of Blues in
Anaheim, Cali£
"It's balls to the wall;' says Nunn, who
sounds more excited than frazzled over the
combination of a looming deadline, family
responsibilities and a chatty reporter. She
laughs when questioned about the double
entendre-laden title of her new CD/DVD
package TerriNunn & Berlin:All the Way In.
"There's a piece of that that I like about it;'
she says, smiling. "But this band, right now,
are all the way into [the music]. It's a feeling
that doesn't happen all the time:'
Nunn gives a lot of the credit for this reenergized attitude to the addition of Goo Goo
Dolls' keyboard player Dave Schulz, who
joined the band a few years ago.
"He's a breath of fresh air;' says Nunn,
explaining that everything clicked once
Schulz arrived. "It's like great sex-you're
lucky if it happens the first time. It takes time
to mesh, to learn each other's rhythms. I'm
so grateful that this DVD came along now
rather than last year:'
The band is also enjoying the publicity for
an acoustic version of "The Metro;' used in
the recent film Naked Ambition, and Nunn
also has her eye on a new venture: "I love
radio and talk radio;' she says. "I love conversation about ideas, exposing people to ideas
and spiritual practices. I would love to get
into that world:' ■
After a dearth of openly gay TV anchors, lesbians are finally claiming a place in the spotlight. No sooner had MSNBC's Rachel Maddow become a media darling, appealing to
queer and straight audiences alike with her quirky humor and informed banter, then HLN,
(formerly Headline News and a sister network to CNN), handed Jane Velez-Mitchell-a
feisty, outspoken, lesbian feminist, vegan, animal rights activist-her own show.
'Tm an overnight sensation that was 30 years in the making;' Velez-Mitchell quips when
asked about her sudden rise to fame, after replacing HLN's conservati"'.e host Glenn Beck
with just a few hours' notice. Previously a reporter on CelebrityJustice,a commentator on
programs including Court TV and a guest host on HLN's Nancy Grace,Velez-Mitchell
rose to the challenge, moving from Los Angeles to New York last year to host IssuesWith
Jane Velez-Mitchell.Each weekday evening at 7 p.m. EST, Velez-Mitchell comments on
and debates a plethora of topics, from Michael Jackson's death to teen criminals and the
link between swine flu and factory farming.
"It's absolutely my dream job;' she
enthuses, because, "now and then I get to
insert something about compassion for
animals:' In her new memoir, iWant, VelezMitchell advocates freeing society of its
addiction to overconsumption, which has a
negative impact on animals, human health
and the environment.
Velez-Mitchell, 53, is no stranger to addiction. An alcoholic from the age of 17, she
began her journey to self-realization 14 years
ago when she decided to get sober.
"That was the key, because without sobriety you don't do anything to change the
world and make it a better place;' she asserts.
"Once I got sober, I had to confront the
world around me and be more honest, and
that's one of the reasons I eventually came
out as a gay American. I wouldn't have done
that ifI hadn't got sober. I didn't have a bottle
of Chardonnay to hide behind:'
It wasn't until 2002, after"a lot of therapy;' that Velez-Mitchell acknowledged to herself
that she was a lesbian. "It was something I'd been in denial about for all those years;' she
admits. Seven years ago, she met documentary filmmaker and editor Sandra Mohr at a
benefit for Farm Animal Sanctuary."She tapped me on the shoulder to do an interview and, I have to say, it was love at first
sight;' Velez-Mitchell chuckles. "It took about a year of editing videos together, then we
began seeing each other and we lived together for several years. We just parted ways not so
long ago, but we're very good friends and still work on animal projects together:'
While Velez-Mitchell was-living with Mohr, she was working as a freelancer and decided
to come out publically as a lesbian after seeing personal finance expert Suze Orman reveal
that she lived with a woman on Larry King Live. An opportunity presented itself in
2007 when Velez-Mitchell was doing fill-in work at KABC Radio with Al Rantel, a gay
Republican radio host in Los Angeles.
"We were discussing the hypocrisy of senators who were very conservative and consistently vote against gay rights;' she explains. "My co-host was talking about how he came
out and we were talking about this issue, yet I was kind of lying by omission, by not
revealing where I was in all this. So we went to a commercial break and I really was feelStep Aside,
ancy Gr·
t.. contu
ued on page 64
October 2009
I39
On The L Word, her character Molly Kroll was one of the few girls who didn't fall apart when Shane ended
their relationship, earning Molly the respect of lesbians everywhere. In real life, Clementine Ford's coming
out was steeped in controversy. After the U.K. lesbian magazine DIVA featured her on its cover with the
tagline "Clementine Ford Comes Out," and suggested in the accompanying article that she'd had real sex
on-set with her co-star Kate Moennig, Ford told TV Guide she'd been misquoted and had not come out
to DIVA. This statement led to a backlash from the queer community. A few months on, she talks to curve
about "that" interview, working with her famous mom (Cybill Shepherd, who played her on-screen mother,
Phyllis Kroll, in the cult dyke drama), her new role on The Young and the Restless and her passion for
strong women and bad reality TV shows.
Well,first of all, thanks for talking to curve, especiallysince
you'venothadthebestexperience
withlesbianmagazines.
Your
comingoutwasprettyrough.Nowthatyou'vehadtimeto reflect
onthewholething,whatareyourthoughts
onit?
I should have known better. There were some clues, definitely,
in the conversation. (The DIVA writer] kept saying, "Thanks
for coming out" and I'm like, "But I didn't:' I've learned my
lesson-my gut said something was wrong.
Thereallybizarrepartwasthe inference
thatyouhadrealsex
on-setwithKateMoennig,
whoplaysShane.
That was ridiculous, just silly.
Afterdoinganinterview
with TVGuideinwhichyoudeniedcoming outto DIVA,somethoughtthat you'dgonebackintothe closet.
TheAdvocatethen reportedyou as sayingthat you're gay,but
just so we're superclear,canyou clarify that youare a lesbian?
We're clear on that!
Let'stalk aboutyourtime on TheL Word.Whatimpactdid it have
onyourlife?
The Young and the
Restless star sets the
record {not so) straight.
By Katrina Fox
going into a group of people who are close, personally and professionally, and I think you get back how you go in. I had the
warmest welcome, from day one, from everybody.
Howwas it playingmother-daughter
with your actualmom,
CybillShepherd?
I feel I got to learn so much. To work with someone who is my
mum in real life made it easier to play and gave me something
else to work with for future roles.
Didshegiveyouanyactingtips?
No! We work in very different ways. We didn't work together
all that much. I had my own dynamic with how I worked with
the crew and cast. We stayed out of each other's way.
Howdid youfeel aboutthe way Shaneand Molly'srelationshipended?
I think it's a shame, but it's good to see someone not completely
fall apart over Shane, because so many girls did. It would have
been more interesting and fun if we hadn't broken up and I
would have been there more in season six! People do change.
I think people are capable of making those changes. I know
people who are like Shane, and when you see them make that
change it's extraordinary.
Wouldyouever datesomeone
likeShane?
That's funny (because] I think I have. I think we have alldated
someone like Shane-and been someone like Shane at some
point. There're people out there who would have some stories
about me that are not great.
Out of all the L Wordcharacters,
who wouldyou mostlike
to date?
Probably, I would have to say, [as] me, Clementine, picking a
random character, Ia. probably date Shane.
What
kindof womenareyouattracted
to?
made me feel really positive.
Notall actorshavehada greatexperience
ontheshow.Howwas I'm a big fan of strong women who can hold their own, are
not easily swayed or pushed and have really strong opinions.
yours?
My girlfriend is (musician and songwriter] Linda Perry. Not
It is scary, going into that situation. You're
Well, not to be all crazy feminist and whatever, but there is
something really incredible ... take the lesbian thing aside-so
much of the crew were women, and being in that environment,
working with so many strong women, was so empowering. It
October 2009
I41
exactly a wet noodle! Because I'm very-I hate to call myself
strong but I've been told I can bulldoze over people if they let
me, so I need someone who can stand up and not let me walk
over them.
You'vebecomea bitof a lesbianiconnow.Howdoesit feel?
I think that's the funniest thing I have heard all week. I've
never thought of myself as a lesbian icon before. One thing
I can say-forger the "icon" thing-but one thing I learned
from TheL Word is that there is a big separation. I have had
straight people come up to me in public. But if you go to a
lesbian bar, you're going to get the famous thing, but when
you're not in char environment, people kind of don't care. I'm
a huge loser and I don't go out much anymore to bars. Lesbian
icon-now I feel pressure!
Whatpoliticalor socialissuesdoyoufeelstrongly
about?
We don't even need to talk about Prop. 8, right? I have friends
that rescue animals and I do little things for them, and I volunteered at a cancer support center. Lirtle quiet things. I don't so
much stand out on the forefront waving flags. I'm fascinated
to see what Obama will do and bring out in me. Parr of the
problem with my generation is we haven't really had to fight
for anything, so we'll see what happens with the abortion
issue and gay marriage.
What'syourtakeonsame-sexmarriage?
I feel like there should not be discrimination or segregation in
that way. I wouldn't want to stop my sister getting married if
she wanted to, so I don't understand how someone down the
street would want to stop me getting married. I think marriage
is outdated and kind of silly,but at the same time, if they get to
42 j
curve
do it, I want to do it, too.
Didyouhaveanyconcerns
thatcomingoutmightadversely
affectyourcareer?
Yes, after I had already done it! My grandmother called my
mom and said, "She's never going to work again, Cybill. Why
did she do that?" and I was like,"Oh, what have I done?" Then
I thought about it and, really,I'm on TheYoung and the Restless
and I'm playing opposite a couple of men. To me, I'm playing
that part, and if you don't buy it, either I'm not doing my job
or you're looking for something to be wrong. I know there are
people my mum has worked with, and they didn't have any
attraction to each other, but you buy it on screen.
What appealedto you aboutthe role of Mackenzie"Mac"
Browning
on TheYoung
andtheRest/es~
The producers said they loved Molly and her dry attitude. Mac
is not as snarky bur she's really strong and it's fun to play someone who is strong and can stand up to so much and be chis
rock. Ir's very close to me.
HowsimilarwasMollyto you?
Ir was funny because the first few episodes, you find your way,
then you spend time with the writers and a few things I suggested ended up in the script. A lot of my attitude, and me,
ended up being written in. Kare [Moennig] and I had great
chemistry. We had rhe ability to play off each other because of
the way the characters were written.
z
0
There'sa real dearthof strongwomenon TV.They'reusually
victims.
~
g
0
Yeah, and it's so boring. I've been the put-upon wife. I've been
Darling Clementine continued on page 64
~
z
0
f-
Was It Just
a "G itch"?
Amazon blames technology for queer books
getting the boot, but not everyone is convinced.
By Lyndsey D'Arcangelo
YOU
LOOK
UPTHE
WORD
''glitch"in
mporary setback:'
ary, it is defined as "a minor problem th
s ofLGBT books
Yet, what happened in April regarding s
sold on Amazon could hardly be consider
A technical"glitch" in the tagging system auto
book that was tagged as containing"adult material" -effective y e eting it from the sales rankings and search engine-in order to protect
the interests of the majority of Amazon's customer base. The only
problem is that books tagged as containing ''gay material" were automatically considered "adult material:' Even innocent stories that fell
into the category of young-adult LGBT fiction were censored. Books
such as Greek Homosexuality, Ellen DeGeneres: A Biography and Milk:
A Pictorial History of Harvey Milk were also affected.
Known as "#amazonfail" on Twitter and to the rest of the Internet
world, the ''glitch" caused an uproar within the LGBT literary community because it appeared as though gay- and lesbian-themed books
were being specifically targeted.
A number of complaints were filed with Amazon when the "glitch"
was discovered. However, it took Amazon two full days to respond,
by issuing a statement regarding the matter. The "embarrassing and
ham-fisted error" had apparently affected the sales rankings and
search results of over an astounding 57,000 books in a multitude
of categories, including Health, Mind and Body; Reproductive and
Sexual Medicine; Erotica; and Gay and Lesbian.
"This problem impacted books not just in the United States but globally;' explained Patty Smith, director of Corporate Communications
for Amazon. "It affected not just sales rank but also had the effect of
removing the books from Amazon's main product search:'
Despite an explanation from Amazon, conspiracy theories ran wild
and blog posts on the subject could be found everywhere from news
outlets to gossip sites. Some thought a conservative group was responsible for the tagging error, while others believed it was an Internet
hacker pulling a prank. There were even suggestions that a computer
worm was infiltrating Amazon's cataloging system. But Amazon
maintained that the "glitch"was simply a technical error.
The issue, according to Smith, was fixed and Amazon has since
taken new measures to ensure that this "accident is less likely to occur
in the future:' Nonetheless, some authors, including Kathleen Bryson,
(Mush and Girl on a Stick) don't buy it.
"My two novels, both literary fiction and not erotica, were caught
up in the 'glitch: My name was also deranked and disappeared altogether from the general search engine;' she said.
What is puzzling is that Bryson's most recent novel, Girl on a Stick,
doesn't fall into any of the categories Amazon claims were affected by
the ''glitch:'
"[It's] a hetero
book;' explained Bryson, "which leads
et er
and gay publishing houses
themselves were targeted, as Suspect
[Press] primarily publishes gay and lesbian fiction:'
Like practically every other LGBT author
on the planet, Bryson wrote to Amazon
expressing her concern."! received their standard 'ham-fisted' letter of nonapology;' she
said. "I wrote back and said that this was not
good enough. I wanted Amazon to address
the fact that there certainly was a decision to
target any sex-related book, and that someone
thought that anything tagged 'gay' equaled 'sex:"
Bryson also finds it telling that Amazon still has
not released the tides of the thousands of books that
were affected. "I am making an educated guess that they
are either gay- and lesbian- and sexuality-themed, with few
exceptions:'
This was disheartening for many LGBT authors, as many of them
depend on Amazon for visibility and sales.
"The relationship of LGBT writers and publishers with Amazon
is identical to that of the heterosexual ones they do business with;'
Was ItJust a "Glitch"~
continuedon page 64
October 2009
I 43
~
•,.(,
·:c.::.:
QUEERING
FEMININITY fe,1nmes
'\·.-....'
Femmes of Power explodes
gender and revels in the fallout.
What defines femme identity? Flipping through
I curve
Femininities
lwOLCANO
I'm a poor western
Catholic suffering from
bipolarity like all the rest.
No matter how hard I
try I've never been able
to escape the duality
of masculine/feminine.
Since I can't escape, I'd
rather laugh than punish
myself. I will never be a
possession ... To top it all
off, some of us who've
chosen femininity prefer
getting it on with another
woman, a tranny or a
fairy ... that really fucks
men up! To me, it's this
fraud that radicalizes the
potential of femme on the
heteronormative map. My
stomach tingles with pleasure just thinking about it.
DYKE MARILYN,
PICCADILLY CIRCUS,
LONDON
>
I came out in the mid-'90s
as a natural born femme,
although I didn't use
that label then. Femme
continues to be about
self-acceptance and empowering what I believe
is an innate physical
and mental sense of
femininity ... Through Dyke
Marilyn I wanted to shatter
the white idol of femininity.
She is the bastard child of
Marilyn Monroe and Jimi
Hendrix who inherited
Jimi's looks and Marilyn's
guitar skills.
PHOTOS
BYDELLAGRACE
VOLCANO
44
Queer
OCLLAllwACC
ITZIAR ZIGA,
BARCELONA
Femmesof Power(Serpent's Tail), the latest book
by gender variant artist Del LaGrace Volcano
and his collaborator, the feminist writer and
activist Ulrika Dahl (pictured above), this is
the first question that surfaces. But, according
to the co-creators of this incisive celebration of
queer femininity, the question misses the point
entirely. The book is a study in the rainbow of
variations on femme identity. Instead of creating
boundaries around femininity, boxing it in with
criteria, the images and text unrelentingly and
playfully pry open the very concept of gender,
allowing the reader to take a good look around.
"I noticed how femmes were left out of the
picture and often relegated to a supporting role,
which felt like a strange and disturbing mimicry
of the heteronorm, where the only way women
achieved status was through her man or her drag
king, butch or trannyboy lover;' says Volcano of
his inspiration to create the book. Dahl recognizes the same dissonance on a conceptual level.
"Femininity continues to be a'problem' for many
feminists, as it is so often coupled with negative
things-passivity, objectification, subordination,
powerlessness, etc. Our book ... is a contribution
to rethinking femininities and its meaning and
implications;' she says.
Add to that the dilemma that femmes are not
always read as queer and the full scope of the
project begins to emerge; and yet, Volcano and
Dahl push their endeavor even further. Through
the compilation of images and interviews with
over 60 subjects from seven countries, the book
etches out a complex sense of queer femme sisterhood. The subjects are connected by their
fierce assertion of their own identities and their
ability to articulate deftly their attitudes toward feminism, femininity and queer politics.
Femmes of Power evokes the potential volatility of a feminism that both celebrates and is
united by difference. "You all show;' writes Dahl,
"[that] femme is at once a private matter of
space ... and a transnational community project:'
[RachelBeebe]
ofPOWER
Exploding
ANDY CANDY @HOME,
STOCKHLOM
In a society where norms of
whiteness, middle-classness and
gender conformity are interwoven,
trans and brown bodies that
take up public space become
threatening. To be accepted,
we're told to shrink and conform
to ideals of femininity that were
never ours ... l am a feminist,
and above all, a girly one.
Since puberty I've struggled
with my body, like all girls and
certainly many femmes. I'm a
feminist because I'm sick of the
disrespect I get for being a girl.
"FEMININITY
CONTINUES
TOBE A
'PROBLEM'
FOR MANY
FEMINISTS."
JAHEDA CHOUDHURY,
MANCHESTER
When I first came to Manchester
I felt that as an Asian Lesbian I
was pretty much on my own and
it seemed stupid and illogical.
How could I be the only Asian in
the Village? ... I desire masculine
women, the smell of the soft leather
when they put on their harness; the
attention of an audience as I share
my world through music and poetry;
acceptance and acknowledgement
from the wider Asian community
without having to hide the existence
of my beautiful girlfriend. And one
day I wish to go into the Gay Village
in Manchester and not have my
sexual identity questioned.
AMBER HOLLIBAUGH, NEW YORK
I have always believed that the identity, the
essence, the distinction that is Femme matteredthat an erotic self-configured femme person
was as intriguing, complex, gender-defying, and
deliciously abnormal as all the other ... identites
occupying our queer universe.
October 2009
I45
PRATIBHA PARMAR @ THE
THAMES BARRIER, LONDON
As a queer trans-national,
desi femme-inist, whose
experience of dislocation and
belonging has been shaped
by a history of diaspora,
fierceness has become, of
necessity, a part of my DNA.
Fierceness: a way of being, a
survivor's modus operandi for
a femme Indian girl exoticised
by white hetronormative
culture .... There is power in
creating an image, a selfidentity that can never be
possessed or defined by the
oppressive gaze of the "other"
if only because I refuse to give
that gaze any agency.
SHAWNA VIRAGO @ THE
LEXINGTON, SAN FRANCISCO
"FEMMEIS AN
"Like most femmes, I am
UMBRELLA
always trying to understand the
shifting parameters of my own
UNDERWHICH femininity.
But does anyone
know what gender is? Then
WE FINDSOLplease tell me 'cause I'm outta
answers. The best I can come
ACE, NOTAN
up with is that it's a lot like
mascara, which
EXCLUSIONARY water-proof
claims to be permanent but
FORMULA."
actually comes off quite easily."
THE ATLANTA FEMME MAFIA,
PARIS, DECATUR
In the past three years the Atlanta Femme
Mafia has received national attention
and inspired an additional five chapters
at least: Milwaukee, St. Louis, Chicago,
Springfield and the Twin Cities. The Atlanta
Femme Mafia declares: "Femme is an
umbrella under which we find solace, not
an exclusionary or restrictive predetermined formula."
46
Icurve
She
hard
for her
0
Lesbians, careers and che
co111panies .re lowe in 2000
7
How many times have you heard it, that
in our is-it-a-depression-or-is-just-arecession ecomony, that we're lucky
to just have jobs. In some parts of the
U.S., unemployment is at Reagan levels
(egad! time for a Springsteen song}
and with women juggling everything
from student loans to childcare and car
payments, chasing the dyke version
of the American dream seems harder
and harder. That's why these stories,
about queer women who love their jobs
and the companies they founded, are
even more important now. LGBT folks
have always paved their own ways,
bucking tradition to work in fields often
inhospitable to us, and even today, while
diversity is just a buzzword in some
workplaces, lesbians are still makia,g
money on their own terms.
October 2009
I4 7
All the entrepreneurs who created the companies listed in our top 10 list of lesbian-owned businesses have at least one
thing in common: They recognized and fulfilled a need in the LGBT marketplace. And, from the chef to the publisher, the
fitness expert to the sex toy aficionado, all these women have used determination and market savvy to reach the top.
Border Grill,
Ciudad and Susan
Feni9er•s Street
Babeland
Founded:
1993
Employees:
63
Success
Story:"We know queer
sex;' say BFFs Rachel Venning
and Claire Cavanah, founders of the $10 million sex toy
biz. They started Babeland in
Seattle because they couldn't
find a sex shop geared to women.
When the store appealed to
people of all orientations, they
expanded to New York and
Los Angeles as well. "We are
lesbians, and that has put a
distinctly queer stamp on the
business;' say the owners. "We
know how important a great
dildo can be, how hot the right
harness can make you feel,
how hard it can be to open up
to a salesperson who may not
know anything about lesbian
sexuality:' (babeland.com)
48
Icurve
Founded:
1985
Employees:
300+
Success
Story:Susan Feniger
and straight ~usiness partner
Mary Sue Milliken opened
City Cafe with four employees
in 1981. They've since made
a name for themselves as the
Too Hot Tamales on the Food
Network and as cookbook
authors. Now, in addition
to Ciudad in Los Angeles,
Border Grill locations in Santa
Monica and Mandalay Bay in
Las Vegas, Feniger, who calls
starting from scratch "reinvigorating,'' has opened Street
(eatatstreet.com). Her latest
venture was inspired in part by
her trips to India, Turkey and
Israel. "We ate from the time
we got up, morning until night;'
says Feniger. (bordergrill.com)
GayYellow
Pases
Founded:
1990
Employees:
6
Success
Story:
Earning more than $2 million a year, the company links
to some of the top LGBT sites
around the country. Founder
Laura Villagran says she
created the Houston-based
corporation with one mission
in mind: "To compile a list of
compassionate, caring, quality
healthcare providers to care for
our gay brothers afflicted with
and dying in record numbers
from HIV/ AIDS:' Today, the
Gay YellowPagespublishes
more than 40 city directories,
featuring hundreds of businesses eager to do business
with the LGBT community.
(gayyellow.com)
Goldenrod
Nusic
Founded:
1975
Employees:
7
Success
Story:In 1975, Terry
Grant sold Meg Christian's
music for Olivia Records at a
concert, then asked a company rep what to do with the
leftovers. When Olivia Records
asked Grant to be a distributor,
she took the remaining music
to local record shops and sold
it out of her car. Goldenrod
Music was born, becoming a
$1 million company distributing music, DVDs and songbooks for artists such as Ani
DiFranco (one of her first distributors), Melissa Etheridge,
Holly Near and many others.
(goldenrod.com)
Halo, Purely
for Pets
Founded:
1986
Employees:
25
Success
Story:''A few years ago,
I was looking for some pet
food for one of my dogs, who
was allergic to everything;'
Ellen DeGeneres has said. "I
found a little company that
had the perfect food for him:'
She bought the food-and
part of the company. Needless
to say, DeGeneres' attachment
was a boost for the holistic pet
care product line started by
Andi Brown. The "all-natural"
cat and dog grub, pet care
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books, grooming supplies,
treats and supplements are
available online or through
such stores as PETCO or
Whole Foods Market. (halopets.com)
I went on vacation;' says Judy
Dlugacz. Nearly four decades
ago Dlugacz founded Olivia
Records and 2010 marks the
20th anniversary of the launch
of Olivia cruises, bringing
entertainers to their lesbian
audience. Currently the largest
promoter of lesbian travel in
the world, Olivia makes about
10 trips a year to destinations
from Greece to the Galapagos,
featuring such A-list entertainers as Melissa Etheridge, k.d.
lang, Heart, Margaret Cho,
Whoopi Goldberg and Lily
Tomlin. (olivia.com)
"I was out
my entire
ID
Founded:
1993
Employees:
60+
SuccessStory:Kelly Bush
took the gutsy step of founding ID, a public relations firm,
out of her apartment after
only two years in the business.
i=- Now ID is one of the largest
u:::
<1i independently owned and
g operated flack factories in the
~
1 industry. With offices in Los
~
~ ~ngeles, New York City and
~ London, ID's clients include
S- Natalie Portman, Ellen Page,
~ Ben Stiller, Sean Penn, Tobey
~ Maguire, Dustin Hoffman,
~ Julia Louis-Dreyfus and
~
:§ Rachel Weisz. (id-pr.com)
~
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~ Olivia
@
Founded:
1973
Employees:
17
a:
t; SuccessStory:"I was out in my
tr
<I: entire adult life, except when
a:
UJ
Cl)
[jj
adult life,
except when
I was on
vacation."
-Judy Dlusacz,
founder
of OUvia
Wolfe Video
Founded:
1985
Employees:
15
Success
Story:Founder and
CEO Kathy Wolfe is still at
the helm of the company that
she originated as a way to
distribute lesbian films. Today,
the company brings in eight
figures annually, distributing
successful gay and lesbian tides
such as Were the World Mine,
Itty Bitty Titty Committeeand
Loving Annabelle.Company
president Maria Lynn says that
Wolfe continues to expand,
releasing more than 30 tides
in 2009, and offering digital
downloads at iTunes, Amazon
and Netflix. (wolfevideo.com)
R Family Vacations
Founded:
2003
Employees:
6 (plus a trip staff
of about 80)
Success
Story:Kelli O'Donnell
and Gregg Kaminsky founded
the company that has carted
more than 15,000 gay parents,
their children, friends and
extended family on cruises
around the world. R Family
takes one or two big cruises
each year and plans to offer
trips for smaller group as well.
(rfamilyvacations.com)
Yo9aFi1
Founded:
1997
Employees:
65
Success
Story:In a little over
10 years, Beth Shawhas
turned the yoga industry on
its ear-not a bad pose, in
this case. She's trained 90,000
people worldwide, making
YogaFit one of the largest yoga
schools in North America.
Combining yoga techniques
with a workout regimen, the
company took in just under $5
million last year. (yogafit.com)
Tryingto comeup with a comprehensivelist of the Top1OLesbianOwnedCompanies
wasa ridiculous
task.Whatexactly,youmightask,
makesa companya "top ten lesbian
company?"Didwe define"top" by
grossprofits,numberof employees
or yearsin business?
Wasit fair to
comparehugecompanies-likethat
of restauranteer
SUSANFENIGER,
whoemploysover300people-to
a small,six-personoperationlike KELLIO'DONNELL'S
R Family
Vacations?
In the end,we cameaway
with pagesandpagesof amazing lesbian-owned,
-foundedor
-operatedcompaniesfromtravel
guruSHANNON
WENTWORTH's
newcruiseline,Sweetto technopop
culturemavenSARAHWARN's
AfterEllen(nowa part of Logo,a
divisionof Viacom),from LISAC.
MOORE's
RedbonePressto fellow
publisherGINAGATTA's
DamronInc.
(a companythat producesguidebooksfilled with just this: listingsof
greatLGBT-owned
companies!).
Sohowdid we choose?Well,
we wentwith our gut andchose1O
greatcompanieswith a historyof
havingmadea impacton boththe
pocketbooks
andthe livesof queer
womenin their communities.
And
for all thosethat couldn'tmakeit in
print?Westill saluteyou.Goto curvemag.com
andyou'll find moremini
profilesof hoteliers(likeHEATHER
CARRUTHERS
andLESLIELEONELLI,
ownersof Pearl'sRainbowKey
WestResort)andbusinessactivists
(likePAMDERbERIAN
andpartner
NANCYBECKER,
whopartneredwith
MARTINA
NAVRATILOVA
to launch
RainbowCardandwith BILLIEJEAN
KINGto launchGreenSlam).
Andstaytunedfor the nightlife
sectionof our nextissue,where
we get up closeandpersonalwith
with lots of lesbianclub promoters
andbarownersfrom acrossthe
country.As usual,though,we want
to knowwhowe missed.Logon to
curvemag.com
andtell us which
companiesreallyshouldhavemade
ourtop 10 list this year.
rP
T OZ
LptP
pr;cfD
3
4
5
fro111
li an
•• house calls
For Vy Le success is in the details. By Heather Robinson
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
g;
Vy Le is proof that there are many roads to
success. In her case, the road has been steep,
exciting, lacking in formal education and
initiated by a job that many would consider
a last resort-retail.
As a college student,
Le worked at a Gap store, folding, stacking
and selling clothes while she took classes at
San Francisco State University. Though she
was the store's top seller, Le was shocked
to receive a call from the company's CEO,
asking the then 19-year-old for her input
on increasing sales. Soon, she was promoted
off the sales floor and into the corporate
office, but she never lost her instinct for
connecting with people and giving chem
what they want. Now 31, Le is turning her
ferocious work ethic and drive coward
improving healthcare.
"I think, like many ocher industries, healthcare is in need of a major customer service
overhaul. In retail, you're constantly thinking
about the customer ... it transfers over in the
terms of changing the way healthcare thinks
or the way the industry thinks;' says Le.
As chief operations officer at Current
Health in San Francisco, Le is on a mission
to revolutionize healthcare delivery and she
sees room for streamlining and improvement
everywhere she looks. 'Tm very passionate
when people cell me chat it's impossible or
this is the way things are, chis is the way it's
always going to be;' says Le, known around
the office as the "Velvet Hammer;' who has
come up against a lot of resistance in her
campaign to make healthcare more friendly,
accessible and affordable. "You walk into a
room with guys who have pleated pants and
grey hair and you're questioning how they do
things. And you're always asking whY:'
"She's very tough. She's very effective in
getting things done;' says Matt Griffes, a
longtime friend and public relations specialist
for Current Health. "She treats people with
respect and dignicy:'
While at the Gap, Le excelled at discovering what customers wanted and helped
to successfully launch Banana Republic in
Japan. She got into healthcare because she
loves a challenge and thought she could make
a difference.
"I think this is one industry where I, as
a consumer, don't see there is anything out
there, a product offering that meets my
needs. And being in retail, that's your job, to
react to consumer needs immediately:'
Instead of trying to change the system
on a macro level, Current Health is a local
her mother and grandmother, Vietnamese
immigrants who came to the United States
without much money or the ability to speak
English. On a mission to give Le and her
sister a better life, they built a successful
catering company from scratch.
"If I could hire my mom and grandma
to come work with me, I would do so in an
instant, because they don't stop working;•
says Le, who recalls watching her grandmother rolling eggrolls until midnight.
Le has some family goals of her own; she
and her partner, Kristin Sabo, are hoping
to have a baby soon. "I think my only long
term goal right now is becoming a parent;'
she says.
"You walk in1o a room wi1h auys
who have plea1ed pan1s and arey hair
and you•re ques1ionina how 1:hey do
1:hinas. And you•re always askina why."
grassroots solution where, for a small
monthly fee and a cost per visit, the firm
provides members with preventive primary
care that emphasizes connecting the doctor
and patient in as many ways as possible
including house calls, email, text messages
or phone conversations. The focus is on
rebuilding the doctor-patient relationship
that has been so degraded under the current
managed care system. Current Health doctors see only 10 to 15 patients a day and are
encouraged to spend the time to really get
to know each one, talking about their health
concerns and goals.
Though Le says she had amazing mentors in business, her true inspirations are
Optimistic by nature, Le does not see
the current economic situation as a purely
doom-and-gloom scenario.
"Those looking to get into business-wow,
the world's your oyster. I chink there's a ton of
opportunities now. I mean, from 10 years ago,
versus today, it's like, an amazing amount of
opportunity through marketing businesses;•
she says. For chose who have been laid-off or
otherwise hie by the economic downturn her
best advice is to stay busy.
And to graduates just entering the job
market she says, "Travel as much as possible.
See as much as possible. And, you know,
look for opportunities to learn from-smart,
passionate individuals:' ■
October 2009
I51
These lesbian business owners prove it's all about passion. By Beth Dreher
Bonnie Cooley is a self-confessed coffee shop
junkie. When the 50-year-old and her partner, Sarah Taylor, 45, travel, their first stop in
any new town is for a cup of the local brew.
But it's not just the buzz they seek. For them,
the experience is more ethereal."Coffee shops
are relaxing to my soul-and exciting at the
ries with me and dreams with me:'
That's a sentiment echoed by Shelley
Anderson, 46, the owner of an eventplanning franchise in San Diego, Cali£,
called One Hour Parties, about her partner, Roseann DeMartino, 54. "Roseann has
a career separate from my business;' says
A love of kids brought Tedra Bonner, 35,
and Shelli Kargela, 46, together five years
ago. The pair, who have owned a My Gym
Children's Fitness Center franchise in Eden
Prairie, Minn., since 2004, met while Bonner
was working for the company as a trainer
and Kargela was a gym director. As the name
same time;' says Cooley. "Coffee rejuvenates
me, even without the caffeine:•
And what better way is there for Cooley
to find that feeling of simple goodness on a
daily basis than to own a coffee shop or two
herself? "That is my passion;' says Cooley,
who owns Bearclaw Coffee Co. in Jackson,
Mich. Cooley says she "loves providing a nice
place for people to go:• And when she does
the very un-Zenlike grunt work of hauling
chairs, promoting events and making gift
baskets for the shops, she doesn't do it singlehandedly. Taylor pitches in, too. "I own the
business, on paper;' says Cooley, "but Sarah is
extremely involved and supportive. She wor-
Anderson. Despite this, Anderson says she
provides a great deal of support and spends
several hours a week helping out with delivering supplies, staffing events and developing
their marketing database.
Cooley and Anderson are only two of nearly
1 million lesbian and gay entrepreneurs in the
United States, according to the National Gay
and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. They
are part of an LGBT community that will
have $835 billion of purchasing power by
201 L But more importantly, the women represent a cadre of lesbian franchise and business owners who are finding success through
passion for their vocations.
implies, My Gym helps kids ages 13 and
younger get active through weekly dance,
relay and gymnastics classes.
"We both love children and we both love
My Gym;' says Bonner. "My Gym kids have
so much fun as they gain strength, balance,
coordination, fine and gross motor proficiency, agility, flexibility and social skills. The
most important benefit we offer, however, is
the building of confidence and self-esteem:'
But, she adds, "The greatest reward is the
positive impact we have on families and children on a daily basis:•
Community impact drives Sece Foster,
42, and her partner, Kimberly Nash, 44,
52
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"Our business crea-tes a aood balance for us,"
says franchise owner Sece Fos1er. "And i1's
a area1 al1erna1ive 10 -the corpora1e ra1 race."
too. They used their backgrounds in sales
to found Bingo Lingo, a home~based pub~
lishing company that caters to the charity
bingo gaming industry. "We print bingo
guides at no cost to the organizations, help
raise money for their causes and make a nice
profit through selling advertising space with
an easy choice for us:' And the business has
really taken flight: In three y~ars, the store has
grown by 50 percent, and is one of the top
stores in North America, reports Schmauss.
There's no question that business sense,
passion and hard work are largely responsible
for the successes enjoyed by Anne Schmauss,
high~level staff at the franchise and we have
always felt entirely welcome;' she says. "There
are quite a number of gay and lesbian Wild
Birds Unlimited store owners and we have
not only been supportive of one another,
but feel supported by the franchise staff and
other store owners:'
our publications;' says Foster. Since creating
the business 10 years ago, the duo has gone
onto franchise it out to other savvy sales~
people. "Our business creates a good balance
for us;' says Foster. 'i\nd it's a great alterna~
Tedra Bonner and the others, but the women
can only go so far on their own moxie-at
least while corporate culture still reeks of its
own "don't ask, don't tell" sensibility. Luckily,
that's a travesty these lesbians don't have to
endure, thanks to the open~mindedness of
their parent companies.
For My Gym franchise owner Bonner, her
lesbianism has never been an issue. "There
are other openly gay owners within the fran~
chise;' says Bonner. "It's never really come up
in conversation. Were treated with the same
respect as all of the other franchisees:'
The same goes for Schmauss and Wild
Birds Unlimited. "There are openly gay,
But coffee shop owner Bonnie Cooley
remembers vividly the nervousness she felt
about sharing her sexual orientation with
her staff. "I mentioned my concern to the
[parent] company owners;' says Cooley.
'i\nd she said, 'If that's a problem for any
staff member in any of my stores, they're
not a good fit for our company: That type of
response has happened often enough that I
finally relaxed and believed it:' ■
tive to the corporate rat race:'
You could say Mother Nature brought
partners Anne Schmauss and Dawn Graber,
both 49, together. The duo, who love all things
outdoors-especially
birds-own
a thriving
franchise Wild Birds Unlimited in Santa Fe,
N.M. "I come from a long line of business
people;' says Schmauss."Our mutual desire to
open a store and the fact that my sister loved
the Wild Birds [outlet] she owned made it
To find out about more
open-minded companies
visit gayfranchise.com
October 2009
I53
s this brewery worker
e the perfect job?
Ina Swislocki
bjkeSand
boo1s
Meredith Giske, director of the Vibe Squad
at New Belgium Brewing Company, makers
of the lesbian-cool Fat Tire, isn't sure how she
feels about being in curve. "I don't want to
be defined by my sexuality;1 she says. "I don't
want to be defined by it but I want to inform
people. I want people to become more comfortable with my sexuality simply so they can
become more accepting people and the world
can become a more accepting place:'
According to Giske, New Belgium runs on
that attitude as well, living its ideals without
forcing them onto anyone. For the Fort Collins,
Colo.-based brewery that translates into running a sustainable operation-it
is the first
wind-powered brewery in the United States,
and it adopted the bike for its logo because
it's an iconic symbol of sustainability. New
Belgium's focus on beer, bikes and sustainability made it the perfect place for Giske to
work when she stumbled into the job opportunity just out of college. After bartending for
a few years (as so many do) Giske got to know
a few of the sales reps at New Belgium and
they hired her. Within nine months, she was
working as marketing manager, in a low-key
version of the job she's doing now.
Giske's official title is "Captain of the Vibe
Squad;' which she defines in less descriptive
terms as "relational brand manager:' As the de
facto leader of the marketing department, she
manages "all those folks who get to play with
people face to face:' She's in charge of sponsorships and branding and, most exciting, festivals-including the infamous Tour de Fat.
The Tour is "the most glamorous, fun, timeconsuming piece of my job;' says Giske. "I've
been part of the Tour de Fat since its conception. It was the idea of our marketing director
and sales director in the back yard over the
beer, and I've taken that and grown it into an
11 city celebration of the bicycle that last year
was over a million dollars of philanthropy:'
Bragging rights aside, Giske appreciates her
job because it doesn't tie her to a desk. "Every
54 I curve
Saturday out of the summer I get to get
dressed up in go-go boots and short skirts and
bustiers and [I'm] running around to different
cities talking about the power of the bike. If it
was just about the beer I probably wouldn't be
working here anymore, but I'm lucky enough
to be working for a corporation that genuinely wants to leave the world a better place.
It's one thing to like the place you work and
bring home a paycheck, it's a totally different
thing to feel like you're contributing to positive
change. And I get to do it in go-go boots:'
This job is perfect for Giske, not just
because of its responsibilities or the activities
she gets to spearhead, but because it aligns so
closely to her personal values.
"Work and life complement each other;' she
says, because they're both about transparency
and authenticity. She is proud of the fact that
she's been able to live her life "pretty authentically. It's part of when I get rambley about
New Belgium-that's
what I love about the
brewery. The company is transparent. Its
actions are derived from its ideals. I think I
live my life that way. Whether it's living out of
the closet or standing up for what I believe in
on any level, I've worked over my life to live in
a way that is transparent. You're going to get
the real deal:'
Giske has been this way all her life."I didn't
come out until I was in my early 20s, and I
don't ever remember feeling like I was in a
closer;' she says, acknowledging how lucky
she was to have supportive friends and family.
'Tm one of those folks who has never been a
soap boxer and I'm not always drawn to folks
that are. In my mind, the best way I can draw
people in and make them comfortable with
the lifestyle that I'm living is by just living it
transparently and honestly and not being
aggressive. Hopefully I set an example in my
day-to-day as a real, approachable woman
living a lesbian life that doesn't need to put
that front and center:'
As for success, she says, well, it's all subjective. "It's how you envision· it. For me it's based
on being proud of what I do and going to
sleep happy about it:' ■
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On one Friday night, over 500 stylishly
dressed queer women sipped exotic drinks
like lychee martinis at the Asia Society, a
museum on the tony Upper East Side of
Manhattan. The event, sponsored by sev~
eral gay organizations, was focused on
queer networking.
Amidst
icebreakers
that asked women to name what animal
they were most like, and tours of the
latest exhibits, there was an undertone of
serious concern. Queer professionals, like
workers around the country, are very con~
cerned about their job security.
As the economy continues to plummet,
lesbian networking events are on the rise.
Women in New York are at a distinct ad van~
rage. In a mere three~month span this year,
there were at least five events to pick from.
Between OP. LYNX, the women's chapter
of Out Professionals (a social and busi~
ness networking organization); Financial
Services Industry Exchange or FSIX ( a gay
financial nonprofit organization); and The
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender
Community Center, there are a number of
different kinds of events to attend, ranging
from seminars to mixers.
At one women's breakfast network~
ing group, part of OP. LYNX, about 20
women meet twice a month at the offices of
Northwestern Mutual, where Mindi Wernick,
one of the group's cofounders works.
"I realized it was time to focus in on a
market that I would have more in common
with;' says Wernick.
The other co~founder
Julien
Sharp,
founder of Srylo Creative Communications,
agrees: "Developing lasting relationships and
social capital is the absolute best way for an
entrepreneur to grow a business, especially
in these economic times. If I have a chance to
refer business to an LGBT or LGBT~friendly
company, you bet I am going to do ir:'
The second meeting that month began
with brief introductions and then quickly
shifted to a presentation given by Sharp, on
using online networking platforms to grow
one's business. Networking is ,not the only
draw to these meetings. Lesbians are also
seeking out these events because it's a place
they can feel comfortable being open about
their personal lives.
"I feel like I've been isolated-when
I
am out in the world, I can never discuss
being gay and it's a huge part of who I am.
It's a relief;' says Nina Simon, founder of
Renaissance Renovations, a renovation and
remodeling company.
Being open about one's life can also lead
to more success in networking. "When you
can be completely honest, you can connect
more and build trusting relationships. And
that's the foundation for being able to refer
business;' says Wernick.
Often lesbians want to network within
the community because they have issues
that only other members of the community
can understand. Wernick points out that
lesbians often feel comfortable talking to
her about life insurance and estate planning
because it involves giving specifics on family
structure.
Financial matters are of special interest to
the queer community. Gay couples face par~
ticular issues regarding taxes, i.e. gift taxes,
income taxes and estate taxes. This can be
viewed as a positive for a gay professional
trying to build a business. "I was getting a lot
of business from the gay community, mostly
from referrals. It seemed to be important to
lesbians and gays to work with a professional
who understood their issues and could
relate to them on a personal level;' says Tina
Salandra, a CPA, who atterided the morning
networking meeting.
Sometimes, though, during evening events
where alcohol is involved, the line between
professional networking and socializing
becomes blurred. Some women's motives for
coming to events become more focused on
finding a girlfriend than finding a job.
"It was the most stellar collection of out
power lesbians that I have ever encountered.
But they all met under the guise of profes~
sional networking whereas really it was social
networking;' says Karen Harnesk, a designer
who attended the Asia Society event.
Elizabeth Perea, a business development
and communication consultant, disagrees:
"Networking at a lesbian event gives me a
chance to reach out to business women in my
community and that means a lot to me. It's an
opportunity to see what work other women
are involved in and to support one another:'
Maybe the personal and professional go
hand in hand.
"I do think in the gay community there
is often an added personal component,
more so than in hetero networking," says
Elaine Arabatzis, a lawyer who attended the
FSIXevent.
Whatever their motivation, women are
flocking to these events in droves-in New
York and around the country. 'At the recent
FSIX event we must have had 1,000 RSVPs;'
says Cami Capasso, one of the board mem~
bers of FSIX.
More wallflower than power player:' No
fret. Last April, Lisa Linsky (a partner in the
law firm of McDermott Will and Emery) and
Jennifer Brown (founder of Jennifer Brown
Consulting) advised women on how to net~
work with confidence-a
workshop at the
NY LGBT Community Center, designed for
shy women who are unsure how to go about
networking. Attendance was, as you guessed,
popular with the ladies. ■
October 2009
I 55
REVIEWSMusic Watch
The New Retro
This month's picks are bringing back that '70s sound. By Margaret Coble
Forsomeone
whosings
the blues,CandyeKane's
newCDSuperhero
(Delta
Groove)
suredoescheer
meup-and I promiseit'll
cheeryouupaswell.A
wildlypopular,
sexy,bawdy
queerperformer,
Kanehas
hada difficultyear-she
wasdiagnosed
with a rare
formof pancreatic
cancerin
2008-which mightexplain
whyall the songsonthis
albumareaboutfightingback
andlookingup.Theindescribablygoodtitletrackamazes
meeverytimeI listento it.
WhichI thinkI will godoagain
rightnow.Evenif you'renota
bluesaficionado,
keepin mind
that,Superhero
is almost
enoughto makethisawkward
butchgetupanddance-errr,
almost.(candykane.com)
[KelliDunham]
56
Icurve
Newcomers Diane Birch and Leslie Mendelson, as
well as longtime lesbian fave Maia Sharp, are singersongwriters bringing back the classic radio sounds of
the '70s in a fresh new way.
BibleBelt,DianeBirch(S-Curve):
The first time I listened to this album, I was scratching my head trying
to place the voice. I could have sworn I'd not only
heard it before, but had also loved it. Which female
pop icon from the '70s was it? Carole King? Laura
Nyro? Or some women's music star I'd forgotten? It
sounded so familiar, yet the production was so fresh.
Rarely does a CD elicit such a strong response from
me on the first listen. I had to find out who Diane
Birch was. Turns out, she's a 26-year-old piano-playing
pastor's daughter who traveled the world as a child
due to her father's ministry, and spent her teen years
in Portland, Ore. Now, this stunning debut recording
has catapulted her to instant star status, and for good
reason. Bold, vintage, sounds and strong melodies
abound, from the gospel-Motown flavored opener
"Fire Escape" to the hand-clapping fun of"Valentino"
and the upbeat revival blues of "Rise Up:' The radioready "Fools" and "Nothing But A Miracle" are reminiscent of Carly Simon and grabbed me from the
get-go, and so did the Elton John-flavored sing-along
''Ariel:' I can't stop listening! (s-curverecords.com)
SwanFeathers,
LeslieMendelson
(Rykodisc):
Drawing
from the same general pool of influences as Birch, but
with a softer, more understated touch, this up-andcoming New York singer-songwriter debuts with an
equally impressive set that's warm and inviting. As
the daughter of a music teacher, music was something Leslie Mendelson excelled at from a young
age, and by 2002, she'd moved to New York City and
made inroads to Manhattan's downtown music scene.
Now, Swan Feathersis sure to get her noticed nationally. With a bright, airy voice and sparse but precise
instrumentation, songs like "So Far So Bad" and
"Turn It Over" recall the sassiness of Carly Simon,
while others like "Easy Love" and Mendelson's
touching remake of the Phil Spector-penned
Ronnettes hit "Be My Baby" are more introspective
and mellow. The emotion and exuberance of the jazzy
"Hit The Spot" and more rockin"'I See Myself With
You" make this an obvious hit, while the sentimental
opener "I Know You Better Than That" is a personal
fave. (rykodisc.com)
Echo,MaiaSharp(Crooked
Crown):I've covered Maia
Sharp in this column before, and I'll keep doing so
as long as the out singer-songwriter keeps producing
amazing records. Long known for her songwriting skills-she's supplied the Dixie Chicks, Bonnie
!
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~
Cooler Than Kumbaya
There'snothinglikea screaming
ampanda boomingsetof drumsto makeyoufeellike
all thingsarerightin theworld.Whether
you'repullingyourbassoutof thegarageand
sprayingupthatMohawkor weavingflowersintoyourhairandstrumming
youracoustic,
thereis a placefor you.
Theoriginalrockcampfor girlswasstartedbyMistyMcElroyin 2001in Portland
Ore.
Todaythe Rock'n' RollCampfor Girls(girlsrockcamp.org)
is runbyfourwomenandit's
still rockin'withsummercampsaswellasanafterschool
programfor girlsage8 to 18.
Theyalsooffera LadiesRockCampthatrunsOct.23-25.Manyothercampsstartedlater,
sproutinguparoundthecountry,offeringsimilarprograms
wheregirlsformbandsand
performat theendof thecampsession.
Campers
alsolearnzinemaking,posterdesign,
performance
skills,rockhistory,martialartsandmorein a supportive
environment.
The
Institutefor MusicalArtsin Massachusetts,
anotherwell-knowncamp,focusesmore
strictlyon musicinstruction,
songwriting
andrecording
and,withgroundbreaking
guitarist
JuneMillingtonat the helm,that'snosurprise.
All of thecampsfor womenareassociated
witha girl'scamp,usuallyasa vehiclefor
raisingmoney.Womencamperschooseaninstrument,
forma band,writea songandthen
performit. Channel
yourinnerChrissie
Hyndeevenif you'veneverhelda guitar.It's all
abouttheattitude-andthevolume.
Areyoumoreintothe IndigoGirlsthanCourtney
Love?If so,therearefourmusiccamps
for you.Acousticcampsofferinstruction
ona plethoraof instruments
(bucketdrumming
anyone?)
andlotsof singingin a varietyof environments,
fromcushylodgesto rustic
campgrounds.
It's likegirl scoutcamp-exceptyoudon'thaveto
waituntilthe counselors
areasleepif youwantto kissthatcute
banjoplayer.
Althoughyoumayattenda women'smusicfestivaljustto hear
performances,
manyalsooffermusicinstructional
workshops,
fromguitarwieldingskillsto writingtheperfectsong.Forexample,
the 2009Michigan
Womyn'sMusicFestival
offeredweek-long
workshops
in drummingandrecording.
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Raitt, Cher, Trisha Yearwood and many
others with hits-Sharp
has been making
a name for herself as an artist, too. This
fifth solo effort adds to that endeavor,
with strong cuts like the rebellious pop
ditty "Polite Society" and twangy radio
single, "John Q. Lonely" leading the way,
while the soaring love song "Whole Flat
World" is by far my favorite song on the
12-cut disc. Her sound is more countryblues leaning, like her mentor Raitt, and
often recalls other country-pop singersongwriters like Mary Chapin Carpenter,
but her solid songwriting chops recall the
best of the '70s writers like Joni Mitchell
and Carole King. (maiasharp.com)■
ROCK
CAMPSFORGIRLS
Girls'RockCamp(ATL)
Atlanta
girlsrockcampatl.org
GirlsRock!DC
Washington,
D.C.
girlsrockdc.org
GirlsRockPhilly
Philadelphia
girlsrockphilly
.org
GirlzRhythm
andRockCamp
Columbus,
Ohio
girlzrhythmnrockcamp.com
Southern
GirlsRoe~
andRollCamp
Murfreesboro,
Tenn.
sgrrc.com
ROCK
CAMPSFOR
WOMEN
&GIRLS
BayAreaGirlsRockCamp
Oakland,
Galif.
bayareagirlsrockcamp.org
WillieMaeRockCampforGirls
andLadiesRockCamp
Brooklyn,
N.Y.
williemaerockcamp.org
Institute
forMusicalArts
Goshen,
Mass.
ima.org
GirlsRock!Chicago
Chicago
girlsrockchicago.org
GirlsRockCampAustin
Austin,Texas
girlsrockcampaustin.org
-
~~
GirlsRockNC
Carrboro,
N.C.
girlsrocknc.org
GirlsRockU.K.
London
girlsrockuk.org
RC4G
CampforGirls
Ontario,
Canada
rc4gpeterborough.com
Girts Rock NC
ACOUSTIC
CAMPS
FORWOMEN
FromWomen's
HeartsandHands
Mendocino,
Calif.
womensheartsandhands.com
Northwest
Women's
MusicCelebration
Gresham,
Ore.
motherlodemusic.com/
nwmc.html
Summersing
Helena,
Mont.
judyfjell.com
WomenMakingMusic
Healdsburg,
Calif.
womamu.org
fl
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I
AboutLove
Plastiscines
(Nylon)
CuCuland
CuCuDiamantes
(TommyBoy)
TheWoodstock
Experience
JanisJoplin
(Legacy)
QuerelleEP
thecocknbullkid
(IAMSOUND)
Theall-girlFrench
rockersarebackwitha
newsetof jangly,indie
punktunesthatrecall
everyone
fromLeTigre
to JoanJettto early
Blondie-largelyin
Englishthistime.The
numbersmostlikelyto
headcritics'picklists
arethe defiant"Bitch"
andthecatchyopener
"I CouldRobYou."Pure
poppunkenjoyment.
(nylonrecords.
com)
TheformerVerba
Buenafroiltwoman
strikesoutonher
ownwithaneccentric
andstylish1a-track
setthat'sequalparts
downtownManhattan
hipsterfunkandold
schoolCubanvocal
jazz.Bighorns,lotsof
Latinpercussion
and
guitarandDiamantes'
seductive
andsassy
voicecombineto festive resultsthroughout.
(tommyboy.
com)
AnitaBlay,aka
Celebrating
the40th
thecocknbullkid,
is
anniversary
of the
the heirapparent
to
concertthatchanged the hipstersynththeworld,Legacyhas popfanaticismthat
released
fiveclassic
propelled
Santigold
to
albumsbyWoodstock worldwidestardom.
headliners,
pairedwith Mixingthe musical
theirliveperformances.huesof the U.K.grime
ForJoplin,it's I Got
soundwiththe pop
DemOf'KozmicBlues sensibilityof '80snew
AgainMama!plus
wave,cutslike"Kiss
herlive10-songset
KissKill"sportskitfeaturingthreeprevteringdrummachine
iouslyunissued
songs. beats,boldsynthsand
(legacyrecordings.
com) sweetmelodies.
(iamsound
records.
com)
October 2009
J
57
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Past, Presentand Future
These books explore homophobia and growing up gay. By Rachel Pepper
Sarah Schulman continues to both guide and critique
•our community and Ariel Schrag's collected cartoons
will be a comfort to queer teens everywhere.
TheTiesThatBindand TheMereFuture,
SarahSchulman
(TheNewPress,ArsenalPulpPress):
Sarah Schulman's
BloodDazzler,Patricia
writing career spans the canon of contemporary
Smith{CoffeeHouse):
Smith
becamea NationalBook queer literature and includes many novels, several
Awardfinalistwiththissear- works of non-fiction, plays and a full roster of articles
published in newspapers and magazines. Schulman is
ingcollectionof poems,which
chronicle
the devastation
of
the recipient of several LGBT awards, including the
Hurricane
Katrinabyweaving 2009 Kessler Prize, for her sustained contribution to
togethervividdepictions
of
lesbian and gay studies. A writer who has also played
the physicalandspiritual
a pivotal role in the cultural and political spheres
crisisthestormbroughtwith
of the gay community, Schulman's publishing path
a clear-eyed
indictmentof
politicalandbureaucratic reflects both where we have come from and where
we're headed. Indeed, cartoonist Alison Bechdel
culpability.
Thepoemsfollow
recently wrote that Schulman was like a "moral comthe pathof the stormfrom
its earliestgatherings
as
pass" for her, and many appreciate Schulman's fortia tropicaldepression
over
tude in dealing with topics like queer marriage and
the Bahamas
to its hellish custody battles among lesbian parents. In her newest
paththroughNewOrleans
work of non-fiction, The Ties That Bind, she writes
andthe humanandurban
about the effects of homophobia on the communal
ghostsit left hoveringin its
gay
psyche, expands on an earlier dialogue she'd had
wake.Smithgivesvoiceto
with
NCLR'.s executive director Kate Kendell about
Katrina'svillains,victimsand
survivors,
andherlovefor
lesbian custody battles and takes some interesting
the cityshinesthroughthe
twists on gay marriage. Schulman writes, "Gay mar- heroine copes with her drifting lover, a father and his
storm:"AndI crawl/ through riage does not so much protect the couple from the two sons wrestle with their addictions and familial
upturnedrooms,humming State as it protects the couple from each other. It is
loss, a privileged heterosexual white male named
gospel,/closingtiredeyes
a third-party acknowledgement and recognition that
Harrison Bond and an undiscovered woman artist
againstmyhome's/languid
people
who
have
shared
love
have
basic
responsibilinamed
Glick grapple with their legacies. As the plot
rhythmsof rot,begging/ my
ties
toward
each
other:'
takes
us
further into the realm of a not-so-distant
newhistoryto holdstill."
The newly released The Mere Future, a futuristic
(coffeehousepress.
org)
future, Schulman continues to intertwine her set
[JuliaBloch] novel Schulman began in 1999, also explores the of unlikely characters as they reach toward a single,
themes that she is best known for, including the unavoidable and startling conclusion. ( thenewpress.
effects of familial and societal homophobia on us as a com, arsenalpulp.com)
community and on our adult love relationships, and
queer people's place in consumer culture. A native Likewise,Ariel Schrag (Touchstone):
This lesbian
New Yorker, Schulman places the city squarely at cartoonist has come into her own recently, in part
the forefront of much of her writing and in The Mere due to the breakout success of Alison Bechdel's
Future, New York takes on a new dimension when well-reviewed Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic a
the city's Mayor ushers in a new age called "The Big few years back. Nipping on her heels was a cadre of
Change" which boasts a bounty of affordable housother cartoonists, including Ariel Schrag, a name
ing, independently owned stores and a lack of public curve readers might recognize from her stint as a
advertising. However, the novel's main character, a screenwriter for the third and fourth seasons of The
lesbian slogan writer for the omnipresent marketL Word. Before this, Schrag, who is in her late 20s,
ing firm Media Hub, and her lover Nadine, begin to was a self-published teenage cartoonist in Berkeley,
question what is really behind the big change. As our Cali£ Her comics, which she originally handed
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Jennifer L. Jordan
A recipient of the 2008 Alice B. Med~ for
lesbian fiction, Jennifer L. Jordan published
her most recent novel, If No One's Looking, as
the seventh book in her mystery series starring the indomitable Kristin Ashe. While the
mainstream might not pay much attention,
lesbian readers have fallen in love with her
complex characters and addictive storylines.
As for Jordan, who says that writing lesbian
novels is all she's ever wanted to do, the
queer niche fits perfectly_:__fornow.
Doyouwantto breakintothemainstream?
Several years ago, I spent a ton of time and
effort trying to land a New York literary
agent for a mainstream mystery series I'd
written. I came very, very close, I think, but
no contract. Yet, even as I sent each query
letter, I had mixed feelings about what I was
out to just her friends and family, were
then picked up as graphic novels by Slave
Labor Graphics while Schrag was still in
high school. This success catapulted her to
an early, albeit limited, teenage fame as a
cartoonist. Her graphic novels, all depicting
a single year at school, Awkward, Definition,
Potential (currently being made into a film
by Rose Troche with screenplay by Schrag),
and now Likewise, are all being reprinted
by major publisher Touchstone and will
likely find a wider audience as a result.
Schrag is extremely honest in capturing the
crushes, coming out (first as bi and then as
a lesbian), love affairs, friendships, drugs,
rock concerts, teachers of import, parental
relationships, masturbatory fantasies and
general angst of teenage life. Growing up
as a lesbian in Berkeley, however, means
that Likewise also has some interesting
local moments interspersed, such as dildo
shopping at the well-known San Francisco
sex shop Good Vibrations. Schrag's depth
of form also explodes beyond the typical
cartoon format. Employing different artistic
and narrative styles, she draws on a large
sphere of outside influences to shape her
voice. Schrag has added significantly to the
repertoire that will help define and give
comfort to the future generation of queer
teens. (simonandschuster.com) ■
doing. How did I want to make
the most impact in the world:'
As a lesbian novelist.
How could I ever have hopes
of making more than $500 a
year writing fiction:' As a mainstream novelist. I railed against this reality for a long time
but that didn't get me anywhere. For the
moment, I've shelved the series until I can
gain more perspective. At some point, I'll
probably either approach a lesbian publisher
or send the manuscripts to a small mystery
press. Or, maybe I'll try querying a few more
New York agents. Who knows:'
Doeswritingforlesbians
makea greaterimpact?
As a lesbian writer, writing lesbian novels
filled with lesbian characters, I'm capturing a moment in time and leaving behind a
permanent record of who we are and how we
TheCosmopolitan
DonnaStonecipher
(CoffeeHouse)
BodyClock
EleniSikelianos
(CoffeeHouse)
Stonecipher
hassaid
shethinksof the
poem"withoutline
breaks,"as more
fuguethanprose,and
herbook-length
work
readsalmostlikea
newspaper
serial,one
thatgivesthe reader
spaceto reflecton
eachindividualpiece
beforemovingon.This
book,a winnerof the
NationalPoetrySeries,
feelsat timeslikea
paeanto everyday
experience,
evenwhen
it depictsthestrangeor
extraordinary.
(coffee
housepress.
org)
Motherhood
hasoften
beenthe subjectof
contemporary
poetry,
butit hasrarelybeen
dealtwithso inwardly.
Sikelianos's
laserprecisepoemsusethe
spaceof the pageas
a vast,multilayered
canvasonwhichto
confrontthe interface
of the body'sclock
withthe restof the
world's.Herbook's
engagement
with
the experience
of
pregnancy
tracesthe
intimateconnections
betweenlanguage
and
thecreationof newlife.
(coffeehousepress.
org)
live. As a mainstream mystery
writer, although my stories
might have the same psychological depth, they wouldn't
have the same impact.
Whatwriterswereyoumostexcitedabout
whenyoustarted?
I loved the Laura Laurano mystery series, by
Sandra Scoppettone. After I finish reading
books, I usually donate them to libraries.
Scoppettone's are the only novels I've ever
kept.
Doyoureadlesbianauthorsnow?
Ever since I became intensely committed to
writing, I've virtually stopped reading. The
only lesbian author I read on a regular basis
is Val McDermid. I wait for years, then
buy four or five of her books at once.
[Catherine
Plato]
If I CouldWriteThis
in Fire
MichelleCliff
(University
of MN)
Thisnewcalleetionof essaysbythe
acclaimed
Jamaican
American
writeris a
powerfulmeditation
on
a life ledat the intersectionsof national,
ethnicandsexual
boundaries.
Bornin
British-ruled
Jamaica,
Cliffhaswrittenfrequentlyon postcolonial
identity,buthernew
bookis a startlingly
personal
approach
to
the issues,toldthrough
herexperiences
living
in Jamaica,England
andthe UnitedStates.
(upress.
umn.edu)
Humming
theBlues
CassDalglish
(Calyx)
Dalglish,
journalist
turnedwomen'sstudiesprofessor,
spent
morethan1Oyears
studyingSumerian
and
Akkadiancuneiform
(avisualformof
writingdatingback
to the 30thcentury
BCE)
to discoverearly
formsof women's
literature.Hernew
volume,inspiredby
Enheduanna's
"Song
to lnanna,"infusesthe
tracesof thisancient
textwith herownjazz
riffsandinnovates
on
feministmythology
for
a modernage.(calyx
press.org)
October 2009
I 59
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Be ond Narrativeand Name
Two films undo conventional ideas of being "real." By Candace Moore
AgathaChristie'sMarple
Series4 {AcornMedia):In
anagewhereevensmartgirls
andass-kicking
broadson
TVhaveto bebombshell
hot
(thinkDoi/house,
Terminator,
Criminal
Minds,Numb3rs),
there'ssomething
reassuring
aboutDameAgatha'sspinster
sleuth,MissMarple.Sure
Marple(playedpitch-perfectly
byJulieMcKenzie,
whoyou
mightrecognize
fromthe
lesbianthrillerNotesona
Scanda~
is ladylikein all her
tweedyglory,butwitha razor- These festival favorites explore how to slash the
sharpmindandbluntdelivery,
nets binding our sexual and gender identities. Whos
she'salsoa formidable
foeto
Afraid of Kathy Acker memorializes one writer's
the badguys.Bonuspoints:
GueststarsincludeJoan fuck-you to narrative conventions, while Against A
CollinsandSamantha
Bond. Trans Narrative stages fictional trans confessions and
(acornonline.com)
[Diane conversations to expose stereotypes about gender
Anderson-Minshall] transitions.
Capturing her demise during a time when she still
rocked leather pants, piercings and tats, this film
presents a new dawn, an opening. The film's fragments are like Acker's innate queerness-tough
and
sweet, joyous and perverse, funny and sad-expressions that cannot survive being strictly polarized or
labeled. In one hilarious scene, a woman reads her
the anti-porn riot act while Acker sits quietly (and
Who'sAfraidof KathyAcker(WomenMake Movies): loudly) across from her in a punked-out black and
Barbara Caspar's playful film bio of postmodern dar- white getup, orange hair and fierce eyeliner. Acker
ling Kathy Acker borrows the foul-mouthed writer's doesn't scowl or retort; she just examines her interquotational style and-true
to Acker's punk aes- locutor pityingly, as if she were some unknown species
thetic and narrative burglary-pirates
documentary
that hasn't been screwed enough. (wmm.com)
clips that she filmed throughout her career. Added
to the mix are porn clips and animated characters AgainstA TransNarrative(Wolfe):Filmmaker Jules
(Acker's narrators) whose facial expressions shake Rosskam lulls viewers into what first appears (espeand fluctuate from surly to submissive, overlaid with cially to those uninitiated in trans theory) to be
Acker's bullying and erotic prose read in dead-pan
"authentic" direct-address interviews with FTM
style. Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf? ( the famous trans folk, their partners and friends. These discusplay and film) closes at dawn after its characters have sions look and play like the low budget documentary
experienced a dizzying range of emotions, while this we're probably expecting to see. They are expertly
doc signs off with Acker's untimely death of cancer coupled with wooden, after school special-style
in 1997. Having personally studied with Acker in the scenes of trans men trying to obtain health care from
early '90s, I know that although she fought her death doctors who express compassion and understanding
through alternative practices and faith, she also saw while obviously lacking in both. We quickly realize,
crossing into a realm beyond language (and even the however, that we're experiencing something other
physical body) as essential when approaching "nirvana:' than cinema verite when newer interview subjects
60
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For 27 years, Penn
State women's basketball coach Rene
Portland's policy
of "no drinking, no
drugs and no lesbians;' forced athletes
to choose between
the sport they lived
for and the people
they loved. Training
Rules, a featurelength documentary by Dee Mosbacher
(trainingrules.com), examines the devastating impact this policy had on the student
athletes who played for her-during their
playing days and beyond. This welkrafted,
emotionally charged film is moving audiences-straight and gay-across the country.
Cindy Davies (above), an early target of
coach Portland's discrimination, is one of
the women featured in the film.
Whatwasyourfirstimpression
of Rene
Portland?
I was very impressed with her. My opinion
of her as a coach, in her coaching strategies
and so forth, has never changed. I think
she's a great coach. She has some major
flaws, obviously.
Howdidbeingkickedofftheteamaffectyou?
Once I relinquished that scholarship and
was forced off the team, I thought it
was all over. My whole life was ruined
in my eyes.
Whatdidshesay?
She said, "It's either Donna or basketball-you make the choice. I don't
know if it's true or untrue, but if I find
out that [it]is true, there's nothing to
stop me from going to the university,
the media and to your parents:' I was
like a deer in the headlights.
Whydoyouthinkthisfilmis important?
I've had 27 years to think about this
and, you know, I had always said that all it's
going to take is one student athlete that
has a supportive family and they're going to
have a lawsuit that they're not going to lose.
And it took 27 years for somebody to do it.
But every year you would see someone leaving for "academic reasons:' It just killed me
not to do something about it. But 20 years
ago, what the hell were you going to do?
There weren't the support systems that there
are now. It's important
to get this out there,
because Penn State
is not the only place.
There are plenty of
other people who don't
want [lesbians] on their
team either. But they
don't come out and say
it in the newspapers.
[Heather
Robinson]
spout some of the same exact lines as
trans men we have heard from previously.
Then, the cast of FTM interviewees are
shown watching and commenting on the
scene reenactments from the sidelines.
Reminiscent of Marlon Riggs' Tongues
Untied or Cheryl Dunye's The Watermelon
Woman, Against A Trans Narrative adapts
the conventions of the documentary in
order to better critique stabilized notions
of identity. This super smart film presents
the quandary of gathering a group of individuals to represent trans identity (when
trans is about destroying categories) and
exposes how other members of the queer
community often project onto the transgender experience. (wolfereleasing.com)
■
OffAndRunning
{ITVS)
AskNot
{Persistant
Visions)
Champion
{Blowfish)
Laughing
Matters
...
NextGeneration
{Ariztical
Doesit matterwhether Entertainment)
Namedbestdocumen- Fromlesbianporn
crucialintelligence
is
taryfeatureat Outfest, directorShineLouise
translated
by
a
gay
AndreaMyerson
has
Houston
(Superfreak)
OffAndRunning
follinguist?According
to
madeherLaughing
lowsAvery,anAfrican comesa narrative
film aboutrisingMMA "Don'tAsk,Don'tTell" MattersDVDseriesan
American
teenage
butwhat's
it does.ThisPBSdocu- institution,
champ,Jessie(Syd
trackstarraisedby
mentary
explores
the
most
likable
aboutthis
Blakovich),
and
the
whiteJewishlesbians
installment
is thatit's
policyandits effects
manywomenshe
struggling
to find her
co-gendered
which
on lesbianandgay
identity.Sheconnects leavesin herwake.
soldiersandmilitary
givesviewersa chance
ThisDVDhasplenty
withherrootswhile
andnationalsecurity, to meetup-andjugglingschoolwork of steamylesbiansex
comingqueercomics
butultimately,
Jessie's whileweavingin the
andcollegeapplicastoryof thepolitical
whomaynothit your
storycomesdownto
tions.Hertouching
hometown.
Lotsof
coming-of-age
storyis herstrugglebetween andculturalbattles
that
have
defined
this
great
material,
butit's
her
career
and
being
treatedwithsensitivity
andthoughtfulness. herself.(blowfish.com) facetof thestrugglefor theAmyTeesegments
civilrights.
you'llbereplaying.
(offandrunningthefilm.[KatiePeoples]
(asknotfilm.com)
[KP]
(ariztical.com)
[DAM]
com)[RachelBeebe]
October 2009
I61
REVIEWSTech Girl
VirtualVixens
Ten video-game hotties to admire and desire. By Rachel Shatto
As a lifelong lady gamer, there's little I enjoy more
than a kick-ass female character. In 1996, when Tomb
Raider's Lara Croft first arrived on the scene with a
serious set of guns and a taste for adventure, she was
my fantasy come true. An instant hit, Lara spawned
a number of knockoffs, but, nearly 15 years later,
female representation still remains low in the world
of gaming. The vast majority of female characters are
of the sidekick variety or are inappropriately adorned
(I mean, really, who wears a thong into battle?). But
that's not to say there isn't hope. With a watchful eye
and more hours spent controller-in-hand than I'd
like to admit, I've tracked down 10 female characters
truly worthy of your hard-earned free time.
1. NarikoWhen most of her clan is destroyed by
iiber baddie King Bohan, Heavenly Sword's Nariko
makes the ultimate sacrifice and takes up the cause.
Wielding a mystical weapon that both grants her preternatural power and drains her life force, she saves
her remaining people, earns her father's respect and
gives evil what for. This fiery-haired warrior truly is a
heavenly creature.
2. ShevaAlomarFoxy, fearless South African Sheva
Alomar made her debut in Resident Evil 5. Not your
typical second-fiddle zombie killer, Sheva boasts
paramilitary skills to rival any of the Resident Evil
crew. Whether facing down the psychotic parasitecontrolled populace of a township or giant mutants,
this intrepid soldier never bats a lovely eyelash.
3. LiaraT'SoniFamously (but temporarily) banned
in Singapore, Mass Effect faced controversy because
of a lesbian love scene between its main character,
Commander Jane Shepard, and Liara, an Assari
companion (think Inara Serra from Firefly). But it's
not all boudoir for Liara, who is also a skilled scientist and handy at building weapons, making her the
intergalactic total package.
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0
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4. JadeBeyond Good and Evil's sassy tomboy Jade
~
boldly faces off against aliens aplenty and, armed
with only a camera, a combat staff and a swine sidekick, Pey'J, she manages to uncover a worldwide
extraterrestrial conspiracy and make green lipstick
look fierce.
5. FaithConnors
Set in a world where a totalitarian
government controls all forms of communication,
the heroine of Mirror'sEdge,a parkour maven, runs,
jumps and soars over buildings to deliver contraband
messages for revolutionary groups. And she's got
some very fine ink to boot.
6. Bayonetta
This eponymous shape-shifting witch
rocks an English accent,
a magic black catsuitmade of her own hair, no
less-and the sexiest set of
specs since Tina Fey sent
up Sarah Palin. Armed
to the teeth, she dispatches demons with her
pink guns: Parsley, Sage,
Rosemary and Thyme.
7. SamusAran The legendary blond bounty-hunting bombshell Samus
Aran provided the industry's original plot twist in
1986. Gamers playing through the first Metroid were
shocked when, at its conclusion, Samus pulls off"his"
helmet to reveal-a female.
8. MerylSilverburgh
In the male-dominated,
testosterone-fueled
franchise Metal Gear
Meryl manages to hold her own. The commanding officer of Rat Patrol, a fictional
U.S. Army Special Forces unit, and skilled
with all manner of firearms, she is ready to
take on any foe-from
biomechanical killing machines to psychotic, telekinetic
supermodels.
9. MidnaSassy-mouthed Midna makes
her appearance in The Legendof Zelda:
TwilightPrincessas franchise her~ Link's
guide through the shadowy Twilight
Realm. Mischievous and powerful, she appears throughout most of
the game as a potbellied imp, but her
true identity as Twilight Princess-a
blue skinned, amber-eyed _beauty-is
revealed in the end.
10. SparrowThe hero of Albion and Fable 2,
Sparrow is the only openly gay gal of the bunchthat is, should you choose to make her so ( and
why wouldn't you?). Good or bad, butch or·
femme, that's up to you. However, regardless of
the path you choose for her, Sparrow remains a
compelling character and one tough cookie. She
battles her way across Albion, taking on the living,
the dead and everything in between, but still manages to make time to woo and bed the ladies-and
even start a family. ■
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iemininec.J)rindp~
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October 2009
I63
Bella Bologna continued from page 34
Was It Just A "Glitch"?continued from page 43
ting edge female artists to Bologna every
year to participate in Soggettiva and Gender
Bender which takes place this year from Nov.
3 to 8. This year, Gender Bender celebrates
Soggettiva's fourth year as organizers of the
special women's program and highlights
Allyson Mitchell along with other avant-garde
lesbian and feminist films and filmmakers,
television shows and personalities, musicians
and visual artists.
After our meeting at Cassero, Antonia and
I went to Museo di\.rte Moderna di Bologna
for a drink and a fabulous meal of spiced
polenta, various grain salads and foccaciaall free with our small glasses of wine from
the bar. We toasted each other and then, both
exhausted, we hugged each other tight and
said goodbye, promising to keep in touch. ■
said Francine Saint Marie, the author of The
SecretTrilogyand Girl Trouble."The only dif-
Step Aside, Nancy Grace continued from page 39
ing like a a pressure cooker. Then I remembered Suze Orman and I looked at Al and
said, 'I think I want to mention that I live
with a woman: So after the break I did just
that-and the sky didn't fall down. It's been a
relief to be myself and not have to pretend:'
With Maddow charming viewers on
MSNBC and Velez-Mitchell topping Beck's
ratings at HLN, the hallowed doors of
network TV have swung wide for other
lesbians to walk through, but when asked
if she considers herself a trailblazer, VelezMitchell rejects the label. "I don't like to use
words like 'trailblazer' or 'role model; as that
can set people up for failure;' she says. "I don't
like to give myself titles. The most important
part of my sobriety is humility and anytime I
start veering away from that there are always
problems. When I'm self-obsessed, things
don't go my way, but when I'm just trying to
be of service, good things happen:'
Being of service to those who can't fight
back is what drives Velez-Mitchell and she
urges women to join her crusade for compassion towards animals. "Lesbians, as a group,
are compassionate, so let's look at the world
around us and realize there are certain things
we are struggling with in terms of rights for
ourselves, but let's be sensitive as well to the
rights of others who have even less of a voice
than we do;' she says. 'J\.nimals have no voice
whatsoever. Animal protection and the gay
movement dovetail in so many ways, so to
all the lesbians out there, whenever you have
one of your barbecues, why don't you make it
a compassionate oner" ■
64
Icurve
Darling Clementine continued from page 42
a poisonous character. I've been left, and
chased after some guy, but it's so boring
because it's not real. I don't think the weepy,
whiny women are representative of what's out
there. If I take a cross-section of my very best
friends, they are so strong and incredible and
can take care of themselves, and we don't see
enough of that.
WhenI interviewed
LornaLufta whileago,she
spokeabouthowdifficultit couldbe as Judy
Garland's
daughter,
andhowshehadproblems
with her self-esteem
and identityfromhaving
hadsucha famousmom.Is thatsomething
you
canrelateto?
Yeah, it's hard. I've got a lot of opportunities
because of who my mom is. I've been lucky
but ... we have stopped doing a lot of stuff
together for the most part. There comes a
point in your career where you're going to be
known as Cybill Shepherd's daughter or I'm
going to fail at being me. I'd rather succeed or
fail as being me.
Sowhatdoyoudoinyourdowntime?
I spend a lot of time with my dogs. I don't
drink, so I don't go out much. I've done a lot
of bowling lately, which I'm not good at, but
I like it. I do write and draw and make little
things for my friends that are kind of like
comic strips. I watch a lot of really bad reality TV. I used to give interviews and make up
things, saying I've been reading Dickens all
weekend, but the truth is, I watch bad TV. I
wat_chThe BiggestLoser.
WhataboutAmerica's
NextTopModer?
That's my favorite! I'll tell you a secret-and
she might get mad at me but I don't care,
print it-Elizabeth Keener, who plays Dawn
Denbo, loves Americas Next Top Model. We
text each other about it. ■
ference is Amazon's regard for LGBT writers
and publishers, which, in my opinion, they
are treating as a 'suspect class' and discriminating against:'
Saint Marie wrote an article about her
personal experience with Amazon for
After Ellen, and said she was "unrelenting" in
her "reasonable demands" for answers.
"I did not know for quite some time that
it was subject matter censorship and gay bias
that I was experiencing from Amazon;' she
said. "To have been required to delete certain
words in my listings on Amazon-like gay'
and 'lesbian -in order to obtain sales ranks
and other benefits is obscene. So long as censorship exists in any form, anywhere, I will
always consider it outrageous:'
Since the'glitch" story came to light, Amazon
has done its best to quell any suspicion of
discrimination. Apparently it has succeeded.
Customers continue to flock to Amazon and
the public indignation surrounding the incident has apparently come to nothing.
Most LGBT publishers also use Amazon
to help market their books. 'J\.mazon carries all
of our titles and comprises a substantial portion of our retail outlet;' said Len Barot, president of Bold Strokes Books, Inc. "While we
make all of our titles available through ind·ependent booksellers, as well as on our own
online webstore, we realize that many readers utilize Amazon because of convenience:'
Bold Strokes' primary distributor, Bella
Distribution, contacted Amazon as soon as
the 'glitch" became obvious. Barot was assured
that steps were being taken to correct the
problem and also received a follow-up confirmation that corrections were under way. She
believes whatever occurred was "recognized
and corrected quickly" and therefore won't
cause any long-term effects.
"In the short term, we need to check every
listing to see that it has been properly corrected;' Barot added. "But since we have
nearly 200 active titles, this is a significant
undertaking:'
Regardless of what happened
with
Amazon, Barot believes that the key for
LGBT publishing houses is to ensure that'-,
no single retail outlet should determine
their success. 'J\.s long as we have the support and dedication of our readers, and offer
them quality writing in quality form-we
will thrive:' ■
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0
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With you when
~wo etc.c..ou~~ ba.c.o\\"J!.:
o!IV!-
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