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Description
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ToC Cover: The Real L Word in Vancouver by Ainsley Drew and Diane Anderson-Minshall (p26); 20 Greatest Female Guitarists by Jamie Anderson (p44); Lucky in Love by Rachel Shatto (p46); The Indigo Girls Look Back by Dave Steinfeld (p52); Better Than the G-Spot? By Jessica Bain and Yana Tallon-Hicks (p29); Muscle Bound by Heather Robinson (p31); Toys for Grown-Ups by Yana Tallon-Hicks (p32); Need a Stiff One? by Heather Robinson (p34); Dipped in Sugar by Vanessa Barrington (p36); 12 Great Gifts (p38); Trouble on the Set by Lori Selke (42). Cover Photo by Kerry Krenzin.
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Sex Issue
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issue
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1
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Date Issued
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January-February 2010
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_V ol20_ No1_ January-February-201O _ OCR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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LUCKY
INLOVE
Property of:
Out On The Shelf
·www.outontheshelf.ca
Jlctors Jill Benn t
and Cathy DeBuono
Come Out-As a Couple
HOWDOYOULIKE
YOURCHICKENBROTH:
WITH MSG?
OR 100°/oNATURAL?
100%
Natural
Chicken
Broth
99%FATFREE• NO MSGAddedt
Swanson®is the only canned broth that's 100% natural - the others add MSGt.
Flavored with garden vegetables and sun-drenched herbs.
Find delicious recipes and cooking tips at Swanson Broth.com
tAmong major brands. In Swanson, a small amount of glutamate occurs naturally in yeast extract.
& 2009 CSC Brands LP. College Inn 1sa registered trademark of Del Monte Foods. Butterball is a registered
trademark of Butterball, LLC. Sweet Sue is a registered trademark of Bumble Bee Foods, LLC.
FRANKLY
SPEAKING
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2010
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
I
VOLUME 20 NUMBER
1
Publisher and Founder Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Diane Anderson-Minshall
Managing Editor Kristin A. Smith
Associate Editor Rachel Beebe
Assistant Editor Rachel Shatto
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Music Review Editor Margaret Coble
Contributing Editors Julia Bloch, Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Gretchen Lee, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
EditorialAssistants Lisa Gunther, Briana Hernandez, Sarah Jimenez
PUBLISHING
Senior Advertising Executive Diana L Berry
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Photo Editor Hayley McMillen
Production Manager Ondine Kilker
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
Web Producer Nikki Woelk
Photo Assistant Brenda Armendariz
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Jamie Anderson, Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin, Bree
Clarke, Jennifer Corday, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Beren deMotier,
Ainsley Drew, Michele Fisher, Lauren Marie Fleming, Katrina
Fox, Tania Hammidi, Kathi lsserman, Gillian Kendall, Kate Lacey,
Nina Lary, Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey,
Candace Moore, Alison Peters, Catherine Plato, Aimsel L. Ponti,
Heather Robinson, Laurie K. Schenden, Lori Selke, Dave Steinfeld,
Edie Stull, Robin Miner-Swartz, Yana Tallon-Hicks, Kyra Thomson,
Jocelyn Voo, Alison Walkley, Melany Walters-Beck
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Paul Michael Aguilar, Erica Beckman, Cheryl Craig, Tony
Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Gabriela Hashun, Janet Mayer,
Cheryl Mazak, Maggie Parker, Elisa Shebaro, Leslie Van Stelten,
Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams, Misty Winter
1550 Bryant Street, Suite 51O
San Francisco, CA 94103
Phone (415) 863-6538 Fax (415) 863-1609
Advertising Sales (415) 863-6538 ext. 15 or (212) 446-6700
Subscription Inquiries (818) 286-3102
Advertising Email advertising@curvemag.com
Editorial Email editor@curvemag.com
Letters to the Editor Email letters@curvemag.com
~
~
Volume 20 Issue 1 Curve (ISSN 1087-867)() is published monthly (except for bimonthly
January/February and July/August) by Outspoken Enterprises, Inc .. 1550 Bryant St..
Ste. 510. San Francisco, CA 94103. Subscription pnce: $49.95/year. $62,95 Canadian
(U.S. funds only) and $71.95 internatiooal (U.S. funds only). Returned checks will be assessed
a $25 surcharge. Periodicals postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at add1t1onal
mailing offices (USPS 0010-355). Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced In any
manner, either whole or in part, without wntten permission from the publisher. Publication of
the name or photograph of any perscns or organizations appeanng, advertising or listing In
Curve may not be taken as an ind1cat1onof the sexual orientation of that individual or group
unless specifically stated. Curve welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and
artwork. Include SASE for response. Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient
materials. Submissions cannot be returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope is
included. No responsibility is assumed for loss or damages. The contents do not necessarily
represent the opinions of the editor, unless specifically stated. All magazines sent discreetly.
Subscription lnquines: Please write to Curve, 1550 Bryant Street, Suite 510, San Francisco,
CA 94103, email shop@curvemag.com. or call 818-286-3102. Canadian Agreement
Number: 40793029 Postmaster:SendCanadian addresschanges to shop@curvemag.com,
Curve,
PO Box 122, Niagara Falls, ON L2E 658. SendU.S. address changes to shop@cu,vemag.com,
Curve,PO Box 17138,N. Hollywood,CA 91615-7138.PrintedIn the U.S.
Two Decades Together
I'm not sure how much readers pay attention to what's happening behind
the scenes in media, but I have to tell you, 2009 was a scary year. A lot of
the magazines we loved closed shop while websites like Magazine Death
Pool and Gawker (with its series, Great Magazine Die Off 2009) eagerly
documented every single magazine failure-from
LGBT mags like Genre
and Out Traveler, to big budget mainstream ones like Radar, Vibe, Cosmo
Girl and Gourmet.
You've stuck by us-for the last two decades and during this recessionand we're proud to have been your magazine of choice for so long. While
corporations like Conde Nast dump magazines that have millions of
readers (focusing on advertisers more than readers), to us, you're more than
a market: You're our community.
The beauty of being an independent (and lesbian~owned!) magazine is
that readers are our lifeline ( seriously, your subscriptions pay to make this
magazine) and we've always been able to be selective about which advertisers
we work with ( trust me, tobacco ads would have brought in some nice cash,
if we weren't opposed to them).
This year we're celebrating our unprecedented 20th anniversary all year
long with special issues; multimedia projects that incorporate video, web and
print; a huge anniversary gala this fall; and our first"I..:'Awards celebrating 20
years of lesbian film, music, books, arts, politics, sports and culture.
It's been an honor to serve you for 20 years. We do need you more than
ever now. I hate to be the one who always has her hand out, but we still need
readers like you to subscribe to our print and digital editions of the magazine.
Here at curve, we're as tenacious as you are loyal-so we're not shy about
telling you that we'll stick it out as long as you do!
So please, if you don't already subscribe, go to curvemag.com today.
Whether you've been reading the mag for 20 years or hadn't even been born
yet 20 years ago, we're thrilled to have you on team curve!
~
...J
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curvemag.com
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January/February
201011
Features JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2010
26
The Real L Word in Vancouver
Take a tour of the show's locales and swoosh
your way through gay ski weeks. By Ainsley Drew
and Diane Anderson-Minshall
44
20 Greatest Female Guitarists
Our list of 20 musicians with the best finger work.
By Jamie Anderson
46
Lucky in Love
Sultry on-screen and real-life couple Jill Bennett
and Cathy DeBuono discuss their new film, And
Then Came Lola, falling in love and closeted
celebrities. By Rachel Shatto
52
The Indigo Girls Look Back
A retrospective of the duo's musical reign.
By Dave Steinfeld
29
31
32
34
36
38
42
Sex 101
Better Than the G-Spot?
Two sexperts help you find your C-spot.
By Jessica Bain and Yana Tallon-Hicks
Muscle Bound
Five tips for staying strong down there.
By Heather Robinson
46.
Toys for Grown-Ups
Smart sex toys that will tickle your fancy.
By Yana Tallon-Hicks
Need a Stiff One?
She lost the girl, discovered the whiskey.
By Heather Robinson
Dipped in Sugar
Sexy finger food recipes for a special
V-Day. By Vanessa Barrington
12 Great Gifts
Something naughty, something nice.
Trouble on the Set
Filmmaker Courtney Trouble takes
S.F. by storm. By Lori Selke
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Departments JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2010
14
IN EVERY ISSUE
1
6
7
8
12
16
17
18
24
64
Frankly Speaking
15
23
Money: Five tips to help you reach your
§;
potential in the workplace.
:::,
Health: A guide to fighting infertility.
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Relationships: We've all been there,
sister-our collection of breakup stories.
Plus, clever ways to win back the one who
got away.
Letters
Contributors
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Top Ten Reasons We Love ...
Curvatures
Womenfest Key West, remembering Leslie
Leonelli, vampire smackdown and Obama's
in Gaydar.
Celebrity Gossip
Our girl Ellen replaces Paula, Tila files
charges and Drew and Ellen Page
Whip It real good. Plus, we've got
the lesbian gossip on Gossip Girl.
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Music: New tunes from Reina WIiiiams,
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Zorras and Good Asian Drivers. Plus, we
chat with legendary performer Ferron.
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Books: Stories that take us across North
America, and Gina Spriggs' Dirty Laundry.
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This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
56
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Film: A quirky queer comedy, a sexy
late-night short and an interview with
Mississippi Damned director Tina Mabry~
Tech: WET and Bayonetta-sexy new
video game girls you'll want to control.
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rockstar and former wild-child opens up about her latest
album, bisexuality and her punk rock musical influences.
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and playing house with Bitch.
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Groundbreaking transgender choreographer and dancer Sean
Dorsey was named one of this year's "Top 25 to Watch" by Dance
Magazine, a historic breakthrough for transgender visibility-and
for dance. In our exclusive interview he talks about being the first
trans person to receive the prestigious honor.
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Are You a Shane? Bette?
Win a FREE L Word DVD
Feeling
theacheof knowing
thatShowtime's
hitlesbianseries,TheL
Word,is over?We'rekeepingtheseriesalivewithupdatesonthenew
realityTVshowfromL Wordproducer
IleneChaikenanda featureonthe
reallesbohangouts
thatbecametheshow'sfilminglocations
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sayyoulooklikeBette,Tina,Shane,Jenny,heck,eventhatrandom
hookup
fromseasontwo?Sendusyourphoto,alongwitha noteaboutwhoyoulooklike,
yourphonenumberandemailaddress
andwe'llpick5 winners.Eachwinnerwill receivea
copyof TheL Word:TheFinalSeasononDVD(a $60value!).
Sendyourentryto letters@curvemag.com
beforeJan.15,2010.Winnerswill beannounced
byFeb.1.
January/February
2010
I5
LETTERS
Top Chef & Hell's Kitchen Lesbos
Cagney & Lacey Are Back
Dipstick fully retain their
butchness
and femme,
ness even though they
wear matching uniforms.
I especially liked the final
takes where they're both
dressed in worn down tees
and jeans. This really shows
how essential butchness
and femmeness is and how
it goes way beyond clothes.
The Power of Marriage
My partner and I got married
in Vermont last month. We
were tired of waiting for
What are you getting
our home state to get its
your valentine this year?
collective shit together. We've
When'sValentine's
been
together
30 years,
Day?
registered as partners in our
Valentine's
Day
town in 2002 and became
is a sham
domestic partners in our
A mushycard
state in 2007. We encourage
anda backrub
everybody who wants to, and
- Tania Hernandez,
I'm makingdinner
can afford to, to go some,
Montreal, Canada
andshe'sdessert
place where you can marry
I go oldschool:
legally. We did it for our,
Praise for Brownworth
flowers,chocolate
I wane co salute my sis,
selves (it was fun, the family
anda moonlightstroll
who went along had a blast,
cer contributing
editor
A homemade
and Vermonters are very nice
Victoria Brownworch. Her
valentine
piece about domestic vio,
people) and because of the
Demanding Astrological Equality
According
to a curvemag.com
poll
upcoming census-nothing
I love your magazine, and I'm happy there lence among lesbians in
stands up like official docu,
the November issue [Vol.
is finally some more positive coverage
mentation. It's easy co ignore 20,000 same,sex
of bisexuals. However, there seems to be a 19#9) hit (no pun intended) very close to
marriages, 200,000, maybe not.
new group being crash,talked. Every issue the home, as I am sure it did for many readers. In
- Julie Wittrock andJoann Thompson,
horoscope for Leo and Virgo (I'm on the cusp) my early 20s, I was a psychological prisoner
of my girlfriend during a 10,year relation,
reads like we're annoying pushovers who want
Olympia, Wash.
to be spoiled. I thought surely every ocher ship. Whenever I talked about leaving, she
sign has a pro,con, but some are alljust pros. would turn physically violent and hie me. I Corrections
The following are the correct websites for
Make some more pros in the Leo and Virgo reported her to the local queer anci,violence
our "Gift Guide '09" [Vol. 19#10): DiManno
organization just to have a record should
horoscopes!
she hurt any other woman. But, for a very
Designs can be found at dimannodesigns.com;
- Arden Barlow,Windham,N.H.
long time I was too ashamed and humiliated
Carolyn's Kitchen, carolynskicchenonline.com;
and Fuji Enviromax at greenfuji.com.
AstroGrrl Charlene Lichtenstein replies: Life to talk about it with friends or family, or to
isfull of ups and downs and, believeme, no sign report her to the police. I have since written
has the edgewhen it comesto karma. In January and talked about that part of my life. I hope
Sendlettersto: curve magazine
2009, I sawgreatsexfor Leo and strongrelation, other survivors of lesbian domestic violence
1550BryantSt.,Ste.510SanFrancisco,
CA94103
shipsfor Virgo while it was Gemini who needed will also feel empowered by Brownworth's
EMAIL:
letters@curvemag.com
FAX:415-863-1609
to worry about compromisingphotos and Pisces article and know they are not alone.
GOTO:curvemag.com/letters
Poll
28%
20%
19%
14%
12%
7%
who had bad intuition. In May, Leos couldfind - Stephanie Schroeder,Brooklyn, N.Y.
lovein exoticplacesand Virgohadgreatpowersof ~-----------------_.__
_____________
persuasion,while Sagittariuswas warned about
stress at work. In June I saw that Leos would
We Still \' the Indigo Girls
be corporatepowerhouses,which is great news.
Twenty years ago, when curve was just starting, the Indigo
That same month Virgo couldturn on the sugar
Girls were the virtual soundtrack to lesbian life. In the '80s,
and spice. Did you? Please let me know if you
I watched them playing New Orleans' French Quarter (Emily
ever want to talk-astrology, not trash.
Lipstick and Dipstick Love
I'm the greatest fan of Lipstick and Dipstick.
I like to show the column to my straight
girlfriends as an example of the complexity
and multiple points of view of the lesbian
community. It's great. Also, I just watched the
"Pining in Portland" video on curvemag.com
and I find it amazing how Lipstick and
6
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Saliers was a Tulane classmate and Amy Ray would come visit
her at school), just two gay girls with guitars and a knack for
speaking to the heart of our reality. Their 1987 debut made them
lesbian legends. By the time we landed a '90s interview we were
all fans. They were among the earliest celebs to grace our cover,
all but selling out. We could have put them in every issue and readers would have
never been bored. In honor of 20 years shared with the band, we talked to the Girls
about life then and now, from their seminal work to their recent album, Poseidon
and the Bitter Bug, and their new DVD set Live at the Roxy. [DAM]
CONTRIBUTORS
From the Editor
Remember those
"You know life ain't so bad when it's part of your job is to test
arousal products;' muses former editorial assistant FrancesYee,
who helped put together our "Pour Some Sugar on Me" section
(page 29)."And the funniest thing is that anyone who knows me
is not at all surprised by this fact:' A Cal Poly San Luis Obispo
graduate, Yee spends her days hoarding journals, writing letters
to friends, dreaming of sushi and practicing yoga. A professional
heckler by trade, Yee loves nothing more than striking up
conversations with perfect strangers. 'Tm never more myself
than when I connect with someone who has never met me-that's
me at my best:' In the
midst of figuring out her next venture in life, Yee couldn't be happier to continue writing and
trying out various "test units" for curve.
treasure hunts
you loved as a Girl
Scout? Well, the
Curvettes had one
at our annual retreat
this winter, replete
with hidden clues,
water bucket races
(insert wet tee jokes
here), marshmallow
engineering challenges and team
"I realize I'm not exactly the typical curve writer;' says Dave
Steinfeld,
who is neither female nor gay."But I wear my contributor
status as a badge of honor:' Steinfeld has been writing for curve
since 2007 and he interviewed the Indigo Girls for this issue
(page 52). "I had heard that Amy Ray and Emily Saliers were nice
people, but I wasn't prepared for just how warm they were;' he says.
Steinfeld has written about music for American Songwriter, Beyond
Race, Death + Taxes, Elmore, Essence, Sing Out!, The San Diego
Union-Tribune and all the major radio networks. He grew up in small-town Connecticut, left
as soon as he could and is currently based in New York City.
efforts to collage mock magazine
covers (see the glue stick results
below). It's rare for us to take a
day of rest, but even publishing
vixens need some navel-gazing
to prep for a new year. We've
got tons of great stuff planned for
the magazine this year, including
bigger celebrity interviews, travel
articles that take you around the
Contributing writer VanessaBarringtonis a cookbook author and
sustainable food blogger. She solidified her status as a finger food
z
guru when she crafted the menu for a sensual Valentine's Day meal
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for this issue (page 36). She co-authored the book Heirloom Beans:
cc
Great Recipesfor Dips and Spreads, Soups and Stews, Salads and Salsa,
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and
Much More from Rancho Gordo ( chroniclebooks.com). Her
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book, DIY Delicious: Recipes and Ideas for Simple Food From
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Scratch will be published by Chronicle this fall. She biogs at vanessaz
~ barrington.typepad.com, civileats.com and ecosalon.com.
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globe, more underground
investigative features, huge
spreads on weddings and
family and more.
Better yet, you
can find us more
places this year.
Our newest home:
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"Most porn is so tired-it's the same old thing, over and over.
But talking to Courtney Trouble managed to get me excited
about it again," says contributing writer Lori Selke, who
interviewed the queer porn director for her article "Trouble
With a Capital T" (page 42). Selke has also masqueraded as
a reviewer for AVN, Adult DVD Empire and On Our Backs.
"Courtney is thoughtful and playful at the same time, and the
results on the screen are fantastic. I hope she goes far. I hope she changes things up forever:'
Selke even got to be an extra on the set of Trouble's film Nostalgia."So much for objectivity!"
When she's not writing erotica for anthologies such as Women of the Bite and Girl Crush,
she's at home in Oakland, Calf., cooking and raising her 1-year-old twin daughters. Selke
also had a brush last summer with Fox News notoriety as the co-curator of the spoken word
show Perverts Put Out.
at Los Angeles International
Airport. Yeah, that's right, no need
to settle when you go through
LAX; pick us up in one of five
different terminals and show the
whole plane you're a Curvette, too.
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Editor in Chief
January/February
2010
I7
curvatures
Dispatches From Womenfest
Known as a super gay-friendly destination, Key
West, Fla., is home to blocks of gay bars and shops
that proudly unfurl their rainbow flags every autumn
for Womenfest weekend. Womenfest started over
20 years ago, but according to the event's promoter,
Rebecca Tomlinson, "It's taken several shapes and
passed through lots of hands:' Womenfest 2009
stood out as the biggest one yet, attracting a record
number of sponsors and drawing women from all
over the world.
McGillisandGless~
(right)at Womenfest
"We have two different crowds;' explains
Tomlinson. "We attract a 40-plus crowd that flies in
from all over and stays for the duration ofWomenfest.
Then we have a secondary, 25-plus, weekend crowd
that drives down from South Florida. Some want to
party hard in Key West's infamous bar scene, and
some are looking to explore Key West's unique
culture:' The beauty of Womenfest, is that there is
plenty to entertain both crowds.
Last year's Womenfest was literally star-studded,
with actors Kelly McGillis and Sharon Gless in
attendance. "Both of them were so generous with
their time and their willingness to be accessible to
the women who wanted to meet them and talk to
them;' says Tomlinson. "Kelly absolutely blew me
away at the Womenfest luncheon. She told a very
moving and personal story about her life, the pain
and havoc of alcoholism during her years of living in
Key West, her choice to get sober and rebuild her life
and her career. When the mayor gave Kelly the key
to the city, there was not a dry eye in the house. Her
message was second chances, and who hasn't needed
that at some pointt
Comic Dana Goldberg performed two sold-
out stand-up comedy nights and, says Tomlinson,
there were also "great performers and musiciansevery venue had amazing DJs and musicians:' Other
revelry included live music at Cowboy Bill's, where
girls ride the mechanical bull to compete for cash
prizes (yes, some go topless), pool parties at Pearl's
Rainbow resort (where there was an Itsy Bitsy Teeny
Weeny Bikini Contest) and the famed annual Beach
Blanket Babe and Beach Blanket Butch contest at
the Southernmost Hotel.
"Women tell us that they choose Womenfest
because they are intrigued with the location and they
love the idea of getting together with other women
in an open environment;' explains Tomlinson. "I
think it's easy to underestimate the importance of
the message that Womenfest Key West is sending
to the world: Be yourself. Have fun. It's all good:'
[JenniferCorday]
GOTACKLE
LESBIANS,
TOO
Can'twait untilnextSeptember?
HitKeyWestfor
the 19thAnnualKellyMcGillisClassicInternational
Women's& GirlsFlagFootballChampionship,
February
7-15, wherewomenof all ages,racesand
nationalities-anda wholelot of lesbians-compete.
YoumightseeMcGillisthere,too.(iwffa.com)
ls she the
ultimate
WMD?
Further proof that
blogger Denmark Vesey
just doesn't get us. Just
a portion of his blog on
lesbian actor Skyler
Cooper (above}:
"I see the subversive
agenda here is to further
emasculate white men
and replace them with
black lesbians now. And
of course, homosexuality
is the ultimate WMD
against breeding and
the family. Making
lesbians chic thus helps
to reduce breeding ... as
well as further Balkanize
society into individuals
with no family structure."
January/February
2010
I9
the rundown
Do a state's laws around marriage
influence your willingness to live
and work there? The2009Out& Equal
Workplace
Surveyfound that 71 percent
of LGBT adults would prefer a job based
in a state where same-sex marriage is
legaL..If you're part of that majority, Iowa
wants to recruit you. The state sent representatives to GayDaysat the Disneyland
Resort in California to promote Iowa's
image ... Upset about Chicago losing the
2016 Olympics:' Midwestern girl jocks
can celebrate. Cleveland
has scored the
honor of hosting the 2014GayGames.
~
The games will bring
up to 50,000 to
70,000 people, who
will pour an estimated
$60 million into the
local economy ... In
the Big Sky State:
MichelleKulstad
will retain parental rights
over her former partner BarbaraManiaci's
two adopted children-who
she helped
to parent. "Maniaci cannot rewrite the
history of the fact that she and Kulstad
lived together for more than 10 years
and jointly raised the minor children in
the same household;' said JusticeBrian
Morrisof the Montana Supreme Court ...
In protest of the HumanRightsCampaign,
the group Queers
AgainstAssimilation
"glamdalized" the national organization's
office in Washington D.C. using pink
and black paint as well as glitter grenades,
and writing "Quit leaving queers behind"
on the entrance ... If you're looking for a
new lesbian celebrity to crush on, check
out MarietteHansson,
a contestant on this
year's Swedenldol... For
all of us still mourning
the loss of TheL Word,it
might help to know that
Katherine
Moenning,
now
staring on Three Rivers,
confessed to the Los
Angeles Times that she
also misses everyone's
favorite bad girl. "The
beauty of that character
was her unabashed way of viewing life.
She was so unapologetic ... I loved the
debauchery that she created in her life:'
[Sassafras
Lowrey]
10
I curve
Remembering Leslie Leonelli
After arriving in Key West, Fla., in 2000,
Leslie Leonelli made a huge impact on the
small, picturesque city, and her death on
September 24, 2009, from lung cancer leaves
a void not easily filled. She was 61.
To the area's lesbian visitors, Leonelli,
along with Heather Carruthers, are best
known as the co-owners of Pearl's Rainbow
resort. They turned historic buildings, pools,
hot tubs and decks into a lesbian oasis and
the center of lesbian life in Key West.
Denise Warner of My Lesbian Radio
met Leonelli during one of the many special
events at the resort. "We have worked with
Pearl's for the last four years to do their
annual Womenfest events and Leslie was
so accommodating;' she says. "She was such
a part of the Pearl's experience. Pearl's ... and
Key West ... won't be the same:•
After college, Leonelli began a performing arts career in regional theater, moving
to New York City in 1973. She worked
off-Broadway and was the production stage
manager for the City Center Young People's
Theater.
A flute player, Leonelli was a founding
member of Ars Pro Femina, a New York
women's production company. She founded
and sang in the Stonewall Chorale, one of
The Gaydar
Here's a taste of lesbians in pop culture this month.
Who missed the mark and who was right on target?
CharllzeIs Gayfor
PayOneluckywoman
won an impromptu&
unforgettable20-second
liplockwith Theronat an
auctionfor OnexOne.
pl Mom!Lesbo
rgis banned
for wearing
"She'snot a
I
•••911111""11a•
..
,-t--
----,&....-
An Endto Hate
CrimesPresident
Obamasigneda
federalhatecrimes
law & lifted the HIV+
visitors ban.Don't
forget DODTand
marriageequality!
-----1----
Oh,Tyra!Oneday
it's straightgirls who
crushon lesbians,the
next it's hilariousantigayexorcisms.We're
not smizing,girl.
ByeByeBujuReggaestar BujuBanton,
whosehomophobicsong"BoomByeBye"
promotesviolenceagainstgay men,was
shut downby protestors.
II
AnnaNicoleSmith
Judgesaysthe
playmate'salleged
affair with her lady
doc is "irrelevant."
Notto us.
the country's first gay and lesbian choruses. In
December, the Chorale dedicated a concert to
her memory.
"I met Leslie in the Stonewall Chorale 27
years ago;' says Carruthers, who, in addition
to being her business partner, was once her
companion. "The labels for our relationship
may have changed over the years, but our
genuine affection, respect and concern for
each other never did. She was honest, forthright and very, very funny:'
Women's health issues were also important to Leonelli. "As our longest running
W omanKind board president, Leslie gave
enormously of her resources, time, energy
and ideas;' says Betsy Langan, director of
WomanKind, a health care and health education organization in the Florida keys.
At her Key West memorial service, her
friend Wendy Carlisle said, "She was many
things to many people. To some she was their
boss, their hostess, colleague, mentor, sister
or daughter. But regardless of our connection to Leslie, she was a friend to each of us.
And it was my honor and privilege to call
her my best friend:'
Leonelli is survived by her mother and
brother. [EdieStull]
What's the best and worst part of being a sudden celesbian?
Suzanne
(above)
questions
Briana
Bloodsucker Smackdown
With everybody falling under Twilight's spell, it's the perfect time for a queer
response to the vampire mythos with Laura Beth Caldwell's Perpetual Care.
Just how does this epic tale measure up to Twilight? [BrianaHernandez]
en
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Vampiresliterally SPFREQUIREMENTSDeathby spontaneous
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combustion
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oh-so-heteroabstinenceporn
VAMPIRELOVE
There'sred-hot lesbolust
aplenty
Youmaysheda few, but only if
you're PMSing
SOB-O-METER
Thinktoddler with a skinned
knee.Full on wailing
Funniest Joke from
a Show You Missed
When comic Amy Beckerman (above
left) took the stage at Dykes on Mies,
the comedy klatch she and Leah
Dubie (above) founded and continue to
produce in New York City, you could
barely hear her banter above all the
laughing. The reason? Beckerman's
joke about losing 90 pounds last year
via Lap Band surgery. "Basically, if
you eat too much you throw up. It's
like socially acceptable bulimia. I'm in
the bathroom throwing up, my friends
are knocking on the door ... 'Are you
OK?' I'm like, 'I've got a prescription
for this. Totally fine.' "
The hardest part? Coming out about
it to her Jewish family. "My grandmother's old, but I felt like I had to
tell her. I sat her down and I was like,
'Grandma I'm going to do something
for myself that benefits me. It's going
to make me feel good.' She's like, 'Oh,
are you having a sex change?' "
Beckerman laughs. "I don't really
want to get rid of it-I just want to be
able to see it! And I told my mother ...
and she's like, 'When you're thin, are
you going to go back to dating men?'
Right, because the less carbs I eat,
the more dicks I crave.'"
Today, in addition to Dykes on Mies
(a bi-weekly show at NYC's Comix
Comedy Club), Beckerman and Dubie
have a new monthly show at Joker's
Wild in New Haven, Conn., and they're
producing the latest must-see event
for East Coasters: the topless comedy
show Generosi-titties on March 10,
which will benefit the Young Survivor
Coalition, a group that supports
women under 40 who have cancer.
(dykesonmieseomedy.eom)
January/February
2010 \ 11
ADVICE Lipstick & Dipstick
How to Rekindlethe SQark
DearLipstickandDipstick:My girlfriendand I
havebeentogetherfor two years.Thingswere
greatfor a while,butthe lastfourmonthshave
beenhell.We can't get along.I don'twant to
breakup becauseshemeansthe worldto me.
Shefeelsthe sameway.Howcanwe get back
the sparkandfriendship
that drewus together
in thebeginning?
- Sparkless
in Seattle
Lipstick:Is one of you perimenopausal? Are
your fights over petty, nonsensical issues? Do
you find yourself crying on the back porch
or in your car, unable to remember what you
were fighting about?
Dipstick:Perimenopause? Lipstick, she didn't
say anything about hormones! These girls
could be 25, for all we know.
Lipstick:Well, I'm surmising here, but this is
a topical issue for every woman-throw
two
of us together and wooooeee! If hormones
are the culprit, you're in luck; there are many
effective ways to manage them. Chinese herbs
are great and can help calm those ovaries
(which begin cartwheeling, on average, at 51).
Also, progesterone cream cultivated from
wild yam is a great, natural aid to smooth the
rough edges as your body changes.
Dipstick: Lipstick, I think
you're hormonal, or maybe
just crazy. Forget dim sum and
yams, we need to know what
the girls are fighting about.
Did someone have an affair,
or is one person suddenly
not doing her share of the litter
box cleaning? Or have you just
fallen into a pattern you can't
get yourselves out of? If so, you
need to break it, and fast. The
next time your partner pisses
you off, don't swallow your
anger, but do bite your tongue.
The goal is not to win the fight,
but to save the relationship.
Try to hear the truth behind
those angry words. You'll be
surprised by how much rela~
tionship mending occurs just
by listening.
to sayI knewthatbeforewe movedin together.
I foolishlyhopedmovingin wouldmakeit all
better.Thequestionis, what do I do now?We
decided,aftera lotof dramaandtears,thatwe
still want to be together,but that we needto
slowdown,whichmeansher movingout. Do
I just needto givehertime,or is thisthe slow
pathto an unavoidable
breakup?AmI lyingto
myselfor just delusionalfor thinkingthis can
stillworkout?- TooSoonto Tell
Lipstick:Not at all. In fact, this is the brave
thing to do-i£ of course, both of you are
being honest.
Dipstick:Lip, I don't think Too Soon to Tell
is being honest. She acknowledges that she
moved too fast, yet says she'd marry her girl~
friend tomorrow.
Lipstick:It's possible to feel these things
concurrently. Too Soon, your girlfriend is
probably feeling suffocated, so in addition to
you shaking up your living situation, keep
your personal focus off her for a while and
on other things in your life-work, hobbies,
friends, sports. Don't be naggy about where
she's at and who she's with or insecure about
her not sleeping over. Be absorbed in you
while the puncture wounds heal, and show
her that you're strong without her. This will
alleviate the smother and keep her knocking
on your door.
Dipstick:
Lipstick is right-if there's one thing
we queers know how to do, it's form non~
traditional relationships. Some good friends
of mine have been together for 10 years, but
discovered early on that they couldn't live
together. I suggest you open your worldview
wider than the meet, fall in love, move in, get
married, have kids, yada, yada. Backpack the
Pacific Crest Trail. Join an ashram. Start a
lesbian street fighting club. Whatever you do,
don't box this beauty in. Loosen the tether if
you want it to last.
Dear Lipstickand Dipstick:I
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butfailedto takeyouradvice.My
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andI datedforlessthan
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andsufficeit to say,we
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withmystraight,
coupled
friendswhoaretrying
togetmeto havethreesomes
withthem.I always
declineandexplainthatI donotsleepwithmen.
Oneof thesecoupleswasprettyhorribleto me,
andforcedmeto havea threesome
whenI was
drunk.I feel reallysick aboutit and won't be
alonewith themanymore.I feel like it was my
faultfor gettingthat drunk.Schoolis starting
soonandI am movingin with anotherstraight
couple,whoI thoughtwereprudes.Turnsout,
they tried to sleepwith a mutualsingle,bisexualfriend.Theyalsotoldthisfriendthatthey
think I'm hot. After hearingthis, I am really
worried.I feel unsafearoundstraightcouples
now.I feel liketheyonlywantmefor onething.
Thesenew roommatesare respectfulthough,
and I hopethey aren't out to hurt me. What
shouldI doif theywantmeto sleepwiththem?
HowcanI declinewithoutgettingthrownoutof
thehouse?
- Threatened
bya Threesome
Dipstick:First of all, you were not at fault for
the sexual assault by the other couple! It does
not matter how much you drank. Rape is
rape. You should immediately contact a rape
crisis center or women's center on campus and
get support. What these people did to you
was wrong and illegal. You should get advice
about pressing charges. Second, your home
is your sanctuary and you need to feel safe
there. If you're getting any vibe at all that this
couple wants you to sleep with them, then do
not feel any guilt about finding a new place
to live. If they ask you, you should firmly say
no, you' re not into that kind of thing, and
even if you were, you wouldn't do it with
roommates. If they don't respect that, then
move out right away. Please, go talk to a trained
professional about what happened to you. You
did nothing wrong. No man or woman should
force themselves on anyone, ever.
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Lipstick:
Beyond getting help, Threatened, be
careful about putting yourself in vulnerable
situations. Straight couples are not allpredators,
so try to stop seeing them that way. Sure,
there are lecherous pairs trolling the dark
corners of lesbian bars, but they're usually
looking for a "willing" third. My advice is to
curb the drinking and set clear boundaries.
Let them know you're not the menage a trios
type and ask them to stay on their side of the
apartment. If they still try to push it, find a
TENBESTFIRSTDATES
LIPSTICK
DIPSTICK
O Builda Snowman.
Andhavehotfondue
to follow.Fewthingsaremoreromantic
thanplayingin thesnowwithsomeone
you
fancyandthenwarmingupafterwards.
0 LedZeppelin
Tribute
Band.Preferably
all female.
8 JazzConcert.Preferably
a femaleper-
former,andgraba lightbiteafterwards.
8 PotteryClass.DidyouseeGhost?Need
I saymore?
O Teppanyaki.
Sake,baby.Andtheway
theycookthefoodonthe ironslaterightin
frontof youis a greaticebreaker.
0 WineTasting.Wineis a greatlubricant
andthe discussions
aboutwine-its making,takingandswishingaroundin your
mouth-makes for a "full-bodied"and
sexyconversation.
homo to shack up with. Gay men keep things
fastidiously clean and will make sure you're a
daily fashion statement.
Jazzis tooheadyand
shoutingoverthe musicis
rudein a fancynightclub.
& DogPark.Howshe
dealswiththe poopis a goodindicatorof
hersturdiness.
0 Couples
Counseling.
Costsaboutthe
sameasa dinnerout.
0 Nachos.If thingsgo
well,youcanlickthe
greaseoff herfingers.
t!!>Fishing.Shewon't
wonderif thesmell
is comingfromyou.
in the past? That said, there are also many
wonderful women who embrace their bisexuality. You say you know the stereotypes
are crap, but they're clearly ingrained in your
psyche. The only way to change that is to
stop being afraid of her and the word. A dyke
could leave you for another woman just as
fast as a bi woman could leave you for a man.
Four important things to consider when contemplating taking this relationship to another
level are: Is she ready? Are you? Is she secure
in herself and in the kitchen? How flexible is
she physically-can she do splits?
DearLipstickand Dipstick:I havebeenin the
onlinedating"game"for the lastseveralyears
andmetsomeonewho I find attractive,intelligentandfunny.Thewebsitedoesn'tdistinguish
betweenlesbiansandbisexuals
unlessyouput
it in yourprofile.WhenI was on the thirddate
with a girlfromthe site,shewouldnotspecify
thatsheis bisexualbutsaidthat sheis "onthe
fence."I knowthat all the stereotypes
about
bisexualwomenare crap,butwhy doesit still
Dipstick:Why are you really turned off?
turnmeoff?- Scaredin Saskatchewan
Because she's bi or because she's on the fence?
Lipstick:
I was on the fence once. It was senior
Perhaps you just want someone who is secure
year in high school and we were doing a prank
in who she is. If this gal is coming out, she
on campus the week of graduation. My skirt
needs someone more compassionate than
you. If she's bi, she deserves someone more
caught on the chain link when I was running
open-minded. Dating may be a game to you,
from the police.
but you're messing with the feelings of real
women here. While you're online, browsing
Dipstick:Seriously, Lipstick?
the personals, check out pflag.org for info on
Lipstick:Yep. It was terrifying and I ruined
biphobia busting. ■
my favorite boucle skirt. Saskatchewan,
perhaps your "fenced" lover is scared, too?
Tune in to curvemag.com/
Many women get stuck there on their way to
lipstickanddipstick
to watch
Lezziland, and there are a lot of reasons why.
the The Lipstick & Dipstick
Society's view of homosexuality? Religious
Show. Or, writeto tv@
trappings? The fact that she's been with men
lipstickdipstick.com.
January/February
2010 j 13
ADVICE Money
What a Way_to Make a Living
Five tips to reach your career potential. By Ariel Messman-Rucker
3. Don't let anyonetell you being gay is a
disadvantage.Being a lesbian in a straight
world can feel like a burden, but if you want
to succeed in life and in your career, you
need to learn how to use your community to
your advantage. "You can only tell one story,
so what story do you want to tell?" Keehn
asks. "Do you want to tell the story of how
you're going to take who you are and all of
the positives and work with your community
and build those networks ... or continue to
find these troglodytes, these rednecks, these
people who will never understand a woman
working, let alone a lesbian? Neanderthals
walk amongst us, so you just have to walk
down a different street:'
Kelley Keehn (left) is a finan~
cial expert who has written
six books, traveled around the
country to speak and is a regular expert on
CNBC. Her most recent book, She Inc., A
Woman's Guide to Maximizing Your Career
Potential, (insomniacpress.com)
teaches
women how to begin working toward· career
success by breaking down important finan~
cial jargon, making it more understandable
and accessible. Here are Keehn's top five tips
for living up to your potential, getting your
dream job and making more money.
1. Be your own corporation.The most
important thing for you to do, and the
simplest, is to begin thinking of yourself as
a corporation. "There are really only two ways
to survive, and that is to either cut expenses or
increase income, and when you ask those two
questions and think of yourself as a company,
all of a sudden, magical things can happen;'
Keehn says. "Maybe someone is a carpenter
and they're like, are you kidding me? How
is thinking as a corporation going to help
me? Well, maybe you've also always wanted
to be on TV and you take some side acting
classes, and start branding yoursel£ I know
two people who did exactly that and have TV
shows on HGTV."
14
I curve
2. Knowyourworth.According to Keehn, most
women are "notoriously bad at taking care of
themselves;' and part of the reason is that
they don't acknowledge their value or their
earning power. "I like women to understand
what their potential worth is. If you sit down
and do the calculations, if you only earned
$30,000 a year from the time you were 18 to
65, which is well below the median ... you will
have earned over $1.4 million;' she says."If you
really did have an investment that was worth
that much money you would take really good
care of it, right? Well, you're worth that:'
of LGBTindividuals
nottotallyout
O¾
5~ 0 atarework
WHOIS TOTALLY
OUTATWORK?
SOURCE:
HRC
4. Study up in your down time. Finding a
person with experience to help you reach
your potential, land your dream job and
increase your salary can be invaluable,
but few professionals these days have the
time to be a mentor. Keehn's solution? Go
to the library or bookstore and check out
books written by experts in any field you're
interested in. "You can find the best mentors
in the world and have them at your beck and
call;' she says. Even if you can't sit down and
read a book, get a book on CD and listen
while you're commuting or cleaning the
house. "One thing I can say has served me
beyond any return, is to take your down
time and to turn that into learning:'
5. Getout of that rut and try somethingnew.
Broaden your horizons by promising yourself
you will try something new every day-and
then follow through. Keehn says that when
you do this, you get to know yourself and you
may find hidden talents you never knew you
had. "I can absolutely say that any success ...
that I have had is because every single day I
challenge myself to do something different
that challenges the core of who I think
I am;' she says. "Trust me, I wouldn't be
doing anything I'm doing today without this
concept. I never intended to be an author or
do anything I'm doing right now:' ■
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Health ADVICE
FIVETIPSTOFIGHTINFERTILITY
// The Infertility
"I alwayslovedsuperheroesthat werewomen,and
thereweren'tenoughof them," PatriceBehrend
saysof the tongue-in-cheekconceptbehindher
fertility mascot,the InfertilityWarrior(infertilitywarrior.com).Behrendis a fertility activistand
the founderof Life Medals,a jewelrycompany
shestartedafter goingthroughfertility treatmentsherself.Behrend,who is alsoa cancer
survivor,designeda characterin orderto inspire
andempowerwomenstrugglingwith infertility.
Behrend'sInfertilityWarrioris "neithersuper-skinnynor super-buff,"
andshewieldsa syringe"in honorof all the injectionsinvolvedwith
infertility procedures-turning aroundsomethingpainfulinto a
weaponof empowerment."
AlthoughBehrendis straight,whenshechoseto pursueparenthoodas a single-mom-to-be,shesaysthat shefounda greatdealof
camaraderiewith her lesbianfriends."I rememberthe kinshipI felt,"
sheexplains,"becausea lot of the processis so similar."Behrend
saysthat determinationis keyto anyone'sstrugglewith infertility.
"Justbecauseit's harder[for you]to be a momdoesn'tmeanyou
shouldn'tbe one.Don'tlet infertility beatyou."Righteousangeris one
aspectof Behrend'sfightingattitude,but shealsosaysnot to neglect
the healingpowerof humor,either.Finally,sheis happyto notethat
after 13 procedures,shebecamepregnantand,at presstime, was
dueto givebirth to herfirst child in November2009.Forthoselooking
to be,but are not yet, in the familyway,Behrendofferssomeadvice.
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1. InterviewDoctorsDon'tbe afraidto lookfor a newpractitionerif
you'renot happywith the oneyouhave.Remember,
youare paying
for a service,so you'rein charge.If youandyourdoctorare not on the
samepagefor anyreason,find a newone.
e
0
.t
Warrior shares her top strategies.
2. BeAwareThatTreatment
Involves
Educated
Guessing~
Practitionerscan't knowfor surehowyourbodyis going
to reactto the medicationsandproceduresthat are
;,,
part of treatinginfertility."Thereare so manydifferent
factors,"notesBehrend.Thisis onereasonwhythe treatmentscan be so time-consumingandexpensive.If youknow
whatto expect,though,the processcan be easier.
3. Talkto OtherWomen"Ignorancehurts,emotionally,"says
Behrend.Onceyouopenup aboutyourownstruggle,youwill
be surprisedhow manyotherwomenhavedealtwith their
own infertility issues.Behrendpointsout that in America,
1 millionwomenseekout the helpof fertility specialists
everyyear.Andthat numberis conservative-expertsestimatethat 5
to 7 millionwomena yearwrestlewith an infertility diagnosis.
4. Consider
theThreeStructures
of InfertilityBarriersto fertility
can be physical,emotionalandfinancial.Thefactorsthat youfind
stressfulandthe onesyourpartnerfinds stressfulmightbe different,
andthey mightchangeovertime. If youhavea partner,be sureto
checkin anddevelopcopingstrategiesfor eachissueaffectingyou,
andbe sureto find the supportyouneed.
5. BeOpen-Minded
andFlexibleThereare manythingsto consider
on the wayto becominga parent:Whowill carrythe child?Whowill
donatethe sperm?Will you look into eggdonationor adoption?When
youthink abouttheseas optionsinsteadof barriers,the question
becomesnot if, but howandwhen."It was very comfortingto meto
havea planB," recallsBehrend.Shealsojokesthat "shoppingfor
spermwas oneof the moreempoweringthings" aboutthe processfor
her."It was kind of fun!" [LoriSelke]
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Baby Talk
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An inclusive fertility book talks about your options.
e
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Infertility can be confusing and
emotionally devastating. In her
book Navigating the Land of IF
(sealpress.com), Melissa Ford
guides you through the process
of diagnosis, discussing treatment options, pregnancy loss
0
and more.
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solace in the information the
book provides about our rights
and how to deal with judgmental
clinics and doctors.
Navigating the Land of IF is
written like a travel guide, with
chapters titled "Planning your
Itinerary," "A Walking Tour of
Treatments" and "Pack Your
Bags: Achieving Pregnancy."
Though the book covers
complex information, it is
never a trial to read. Not only
does Ford break down all the
complicated medical jargon into
easily digestible sections, she
also covers the many options
for dealing
with infertility, from
in vitro
fertilization
to adoption and
even deciding to live "child
free." With sidebars and tips
scattered throughout, the book
gives concrete solutions to the
emotional roller coaster that can
accompany fertility struggles. A
must-read for anyone struggling
with infertility or close to someone dealing with these issues.
[ArielMessman-Rucker]
umberof clinic
directors who
said they would
denytreatment to
a lesbiancouple,
accordingto
Navigatingthe
Land of /Fby
MelissaFord
RESOURCE
TheAmericanFertilityAssociationprovidesa state-by-statedatabaseof care providers,egg and sperm donation
agencies,adoptionagencies,lawyers,pharmacistsand other professionalscommittedto servingthe LGBTcommunity.(theafa.org)
January/February
2010
I 15
ASTROGRRL
Turnup the Heat
How to keep warm during those long, cold nights. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Capricorn
(Dec.23-Jan.20)
Sex:Spoil her with lavish gifts all through the winter.
You will be surprised at how high the temperature
will rise. Is it hot in here or is it you? Career:People
in power help to influence your bosses. Be suitably
grateful or risk losing your gains to the next very
grateful candidate.
Cancer(June22-July23)
Sex:Hot steamed crab is the dish du jour. Put yourself
on the menu and see who comes to feast. Be sure you
have a pound of melted butter nearby. Career:If you
are waiting for a raise, you are in luck! But don't spend
it yet. After taxes, it won't pay for all that dreaming
and planning.
Aquarius
(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Sex:You attract any woman you want without really
trying. Imagine who you could attract if you really
tried. So try, try again! Career:Business partners seem
to step on your toes. Before you do something you will
regret, turn your attention to other relationships and
do something you won't.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Sex:Lionesses on the prowl can bag their quarry
now. If you have found your mate, spoil her with a
roaring good time. Career:
You chew up the scenery in
any large corporate event and demand all the attention. Are you too good to be true? You are certainly
too something.
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Sex:Your secret admirer makes herself known to you.
Now that you know, maybe there are some things
Motheralwayssaysthat it's that you would prefer to keep secret. Career:Guppies
betterto fall in lovewitha rich shoulder too much responsibility at work. My advice is
womanthana poorone.Lesbian to find an able-bodied lady to work under you and help
Capricorns
takethis motherly process the stress. Is that what they call it nowadays?
adviceto heartandspenda good
portionof theiryouthsearching Aries(March21-April20)
for a well-endowed
babe(ah,but Sex:You have an overabundance of romantic possibildon'twe all)or onewhois well- ities. Some of these lovely ladies take your focus
connected
andpowerful.
As ripe away from work and interfere with your job. Uh,
oldagesettlesin, Cap.dykesmay
is this a problem? Career:You can do no wrong in
betemptedbya pieceof delicious
your professional pursuits and have mastered a way to
armcandy,butthis is onlyif her
sweettoothis notfullysatisfiedat cover your mistakes. But watch where you point that
home.Giveherplentyof sugar guilty finger, honey.
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Sex:Concentrating on exercise can lead to amours
at the gym. That is good as long as they don't lead to
athletic aromas. Career:Don't let the back stabbers
turn you into a pincushion, but also don't overreact.
Keep your girlfriends close and your frenemies closer.
Hmm, who knows what could develop?
Libra(Sept.24-0ct.23)
Sex:Party hearty this winter and spread your wings.
And that shouldn't be the only thing you spread,
honey. Remember-you
can never be too thin or
too sweet. Career:Avoid asking career advice of gal
pals now. They might lead you into unintentionally
reckless action. Burning down the conference room
is definitely inadvisable.
andshe'llneverstray.
Taurus(April21-May21)
Sex:Your domestic agenda moves to the top of your
"to do" list. Decisions must be made. Will it be "I do"
or "do I" 2 Career:
A high-ranking woman takes a fancy
to you. Give your fancy right back to her and see how
fancy-schmancy the two of you can become.
Scorpio
(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Sex:Love liaisons are even lovelier at home. Spruce up
your space with romantic touches and find any excuse
to lure her to your lair. Career:Your career accelerates
on all four engines. How fast and far can you go before
you run out of gas? Let's just see...
Gemini(May22-June21)
AstrologerCharlene Sex:Your secret thoughts manage to leak out and
Lichtensteinis the make their way into cyberspace. Now she knows!
authorof Herscopes: You might as well dive in over your head go with the
A Guideto Astrology flow. Career:You are apt to say one thing more than
for Lesbians.And out what's you should at work and that bugs the bosses. When in
in store for you this year at doubt, think your evil thoughts but let your actions be
thestarryeye.com.
angelic-until the spring.
Sagittarius
(Nov.23-Dec.22)
Sex:Send your love notes by special delivery. Make
your intentions known with a certain special someone.
Will she respond accordingly? Stop talking and listen.
Career:Business travel sounds like fun at first but the
novelty soon wears of£ So try to find some novelties
on your travels that will send her around the world
when you get back home. ■
16
I curve
s
I TRIEDIT
Get YourGrub On
One lesbian delights in crunchy creepy-crawlies. Story and photos by Mary McGrath
Adventure writer that I am, I've always
been curious to try the unusual, and this
pertains to dining as well. I've sampled cuisine
from around the world, so when I heard
about the growing entomophagy-or
bug
eating-movement
in the United States, I
decided that it was time to try some insects
and grubs.
My friends are in awe, amazed that I would
even consider such an undertaking. I'm sure
they programmed 911 into their phones
when I announced I was going to a restaurant
near Los Angeles to test my courage.
In many cultures, eating bugs is a nobrainer. Today, insects remain a traditional
food throughout many countries in Africa,
Asia and Latin America. The Japanese favor
aquatic fly larvae sauteed in soy sauce and
ginger. In Bali, they rave about dewinged
dragonflies boiled in coconut milk with
ginger and garlic. In Ghana, winged termites
are often consumed during the spring rains.
They're either fried, roasted or incorporated
into bread. In South Africa, termites are
added to cornmeal porridge. Fire-roasted
tarantulas are common in Latin America;
and who hasn't considered eating the agave
worm at the bottom of the bottle of mezcal?
In fact, Americans are in the minority
when it comes to the consumption of these
earthly delights. In many ways we are still
juvenile in our diets, grossed out by eating
snails and frog's legs, for example. But, as the
palate matures, tastes can change. Now it's
my turn to up the ante.
Santa Monica's Typhoon Restaurant is
rumored to have some of the best insects in
town. It's a Pan-Asian place, featuring cuisine
and many of the surrounding
areas. And there they are, right
in the middle of the menu.
I have a glass of wine to
prepare myself and then begin
with the Taiwanese crickets,
which turn out to be quite
tasty. They are stir-fried and
mixed with raw garlic, chili
pepper and Asian basil. Honestly, it's like
inhaling the scent of a bag of potato chips, and
eating them reminds me of having a picnic on
the beach. So what if there are a few brown
critters in the mix? They're crunchy, just like
the rest of the dish. What's next?
Along come the Thai-style sea worms,
deep-fried and served on top of baby lettuce
leaves with ginger, chili pepper, peanuts and
lime and served with a tamarind dipping
sauce. I love escargot, and I'm thinking
maybe worms will be similar to snails. The
presentation is beautiful, which helps me get
over any lingering squeamishness, and the
tangy little worms are delicious, though the
dish is quite hot. If the worms weren't already
dead, that sauce would have demolished
them for sure.
I'm still going strong when I get to the
Singapore-style scorpions. The critters are staring up at me from the top of shrimp toast, but
I've already visualized this one, imagining the
scorpions as baby lobsters,
so I'm ready. I love lobster,
and that fantasy seems to
be working for me, especially since I take another
long drink of my cabernet
before I look closely at the
little darlings.
Don't
scorpions
kill
people? What the hell am
I thinking? But it only
takes three bites and those
tasty suckers are gone. No
stinger, no poison-just
a
good, fishlike sandwich.
I think my gal pal Erika
might even be using one for a toothpick.
So, we survive, and are here to tell the tale.
I'd like to raise the stakes the next time I have
the opportunity to go for bugs. How about
some large locusts, spiders or something else
from a Stephen King novel? Anyone care to
join me? ■
So, you think eating bugs is gross?
u.
2
i:i
...
(/,
~
Americans inadvertently
consume about one pound of
insects a year, even though
the U.S. Food and Drug
Administration limits the
number of insects allowed in
certain food products (30 or
more insect fragments per
100 grams of peanut butter?
Yum, make mine crunchy).
But some dried insects have
twice the protein of raw meat,
so at least you're getting your
nutrients. And, bug eating
advocates like David George
Gordon, the author of The
Eat-a-Bug Cookbook, tout
the environmental benefits of
entomophagy, since raising
insects for food has less of
an environmental impact than
raising livestock.
In 2008, the
United Nations
even had an
entomophagy
conference to discuss tackling
world hunger with bugs.
a:
u.
January/February
2010 117
OUTINFRONT
PuttingIn TheirTwo Cents
Spreading the grassroots word around the globe. By Sheryl Kay
GettingThingsDone
She describes herself as caustic, grumpy,
loud-mouthed, opinionated and leery of any
authority. But DawnFortunewill also tell you
she "gets shit done:'
Such has been the motto of this selfemployed home repair contractor in Mt.
Desert Island, Maine, pretty much since she
came out in college.
"Coming out and becoming an activist
seemed to be a no-brainer for me;' recalls
Fortune. "I figured out I was queer, moved in
with my first girlfriend, then looked around
and realized that there was a lot of injustice
and a lot of people who wished us harm.
Obviously, there was work to be done, so I got
started in my little corner of the world and did
what I could:'
And since then, she hasn't stopped. After
successfully founding the gay-straight alliance
at the University of Maine in Farmington,
Fortune went on to win the Social Issues
Certificate of Recognition from the Network
on Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Concerns
of the National Association of Student
Personnel Administrators, followed by the
Maine Lesbian Gay Political Alliance Award.
Fortune also devoted much of last year to the
Freedom to Marry Campaign, in an effort to
stop a people's veto of the marriage equality
bill signed into law by the governor of Maine.
"Marriage is important because it recognizes our families and our relationships, and
it protects partners who have been married
from the horrible things that can happen
after one dies;' notes Fortune. "Yes, we can
have some paperwork, but not everyone recognizes that paperwork. Married? They don't
argue. Besides, it's just fair. Isn't that enough?"
The future, says Fortune, will depend on
a new model of activism that empowers the
people at the grassroots level to take initiative
and get things done on their own. The old
guard, she says, is a top-down system.
"If the grassroots volunteers are not valued
and ,are not respected and are not trusted to
know their communities, they will lie down
and the leaders will have no followers;' she
1s
I curve
forms of discrimination
faced by queer
women in a country that continues to criminalize homosexuality.
"The very conservative cultures we have
in most of Asia are major barriers for all
LGBTIQ persons;' she says. "For lesbians in
QueersWithoutBorders
Over the past decade Rosanna Flamer- particular, the wholly patriarchal society is a
Calderahas seen great strides worldwide in huge hindrance and barrier to living our lives
the endeavor to improve LGBT civil rights.
fully as lesbians:'
But living in Sri Lanka, she's also seen that
The past year has been stressful, says
with every positive step, the movement has Flamer-Caldera, as Equal Ground has been
says. But, she says when the leaders listen to
the grassroots, "a guy with dark skin and a
funny name [can win] the highest office in
America. And this is wonderful:'
had to face enormous opposition because of
the rise of religious fundamentalism.
"This is where our big battles lie-to overcome the malevolent influence of religious
right-wing extremists;' she says. "While many
victories continue to be won, it also raises the
casualties we leave in its wake:'
Flamer-Caldera is the executive director
of Equal Ground, the only diverse group in
Sri Lanka to focus on LGBT issues. Her
work there includes all levels of programming geared toward addressing the multiple
accused of "spreading homosexuality and luring young Muslims in order to inculcate them
into a homosexual life:' Members of the group
have been threatened with death, and the staff
has been forced to move its offices in secret.
While the LGBT community fights for
gay marriage in the United States, FlamerCaldera reminds people that in other parts
of the world, lesbians are fighting to simply
stay alive, and this is why she advocates for
queer communities around the world to rally
together under one banner.
POLITICS
Survivoror Victim?
A new way to empower women who have been raped.
By Victoria A. Brownworth
er
1-
ve
tll
m
a
es
"We need unity to fight common enemies;' she advises. "That means gays and
lesbians in the U.S. must know [about]
and must get involved with what is happening to their brothers and sisters the
world over. No more thinking only within
your borders!"
A PennySaved
ys
:n
rm
tp
iff
)r
rts
ly
)r
ly
NinaSmithsays she's always had a bit of'bag
lady syndrome;' so knowing she has money
in the bank makes her feel safe.
"My savings and investments mean more
to me than having a designer handbag or
driving a luxury automobile;' says Smith,
the founder of Queercents.com, a group
blog that addresses the financial aspects of
everyday life for the LGBT community.
Smith became more mindful of her
personal finances when, at 30, she found
herself struggling to make ends meetworking night shifts, cleaning houses and
catering. Even after establishing a successful career path she found she was still short
on cash, so she set out to educate hersel£
eventually learning to buy assets (specifically, income-producing rental properties)
and to forgo costly liabilities.
Most women, Smith says, focus solely on
money maintenance. Instead of taking steps
to advance their wealth, they tend to care
about just holding on to what they have.
"We have to get our money working for
us;' says Smith. "As the saying goes, it takes
money to make money. If you want an
emancipated retirement, then you need to
create additional income streams:'
In addition to the host of topics she
addresses on the blog, Smith also advises
her readers to stay away from incurring
any debt, to purchase disability and longterm care insurance, to save for retirement
and to pay an attorney to draw up a will
and medical power-of-attorney.
"The more you have, the more complicated it gets, so don't be afraid to pay for
professional advice from lawyers, accountants and financial planners;' she says. ■
One of the big stories in 2009 was the arrest
of the Oscar-winning filmmaker Roman
Polanski by Swiss authorities at the behest
of the United States. Polanski, who raped a
13-year-old in 1977, pled guilty to unlawful
sex with a minor but fled the United States
before serving time in prison. Polanski has
never returned to the United States, not
even to accept the 2002 Oscar for his film
The Pianist.
The Polanski story broke just days after
actor Mackenzie Phillips revealed on Oprah
that she had been raped by her father, the
Mamas and the Papas founder John Phillips.
Responses co both stories were instantaneous
and bore a disturbing resemblance to one
other. Scores of celebrities and even political
leaders came to Polanski's defense. Celebrities
came to Phillips' defense as well-John's, not
Mackenzie's. As Mackenzie told Oprah in a
follow-up interview, everyone was asking how
she could do this to her father. No one asked
how this could have been done to her.
I had heated discussions with friends over
the Polanski and Phillips stories. One male
friend told me that it wasn't like Polanski was
Osama bin Laden-a
comment echoed by
Peter Fonda, a friend of Polanski's. A female
friend told me I was "personalizing" the
Polanski story and that Mackenzie was an
unreliable druggie who couldn't be trusted.
Mackenzie told Oprah-and
wrote in
her memoir-that
her father had raped her
when she was 19, on the eve of her wedding.
She said she woke up with her pants around
her ankles, after a night of getting high with
him. (She says her father first gave her drugs
when she was 11.) Mackenzie's sexual relationship with her father continued for at
least 10 years after the first incident, eventually becoming consensual.
"It was the Stockholm syndrome, where
you begin to love your captor;' Mackenzie
said. Polanski's victim, Samantha Geimer,
says drugs also played a role in her rape. She
Survivor or Victim? continued on page 62
January/February
2010 j 19
LESBOFILE
Babeson the Big Screen
We can't keep our eyes off these hotties. By Jocelyn Voo
show, A Shot at Love, was clearly a publicity
My fondness for PaulaAbdulgoes back to her stunt, but we're going to give her the benefit
"Cold Hearted" days, but it looks like '80s of the doubt regarding the recent rough-up
nostalgia couldn't offset her spacey demeanor
with her boyfriend, San Diego Chargers
on AmericanIdol.Abdul was unceremoniously
linebacker Shawne Merriman.
dropped from the reality TV juggernaut. Her
The NFL player was arrested in September
replacement? The ever-present EllenDeGeneres. for allegedly choking Tequila, whom he'd been
For this, we might even forgive the show for dating a scant three months, and refusing to
unleashing Saajaya upon the world.
let her leave his house after the twosome had
spent the night in a bar with friends. Tequila
TooHotto Handle
signed an affidavit putting him under citizen's
Drew Barrymore,the notorious wild child arrest for battery and false imprisonment.
of girl-kissing fame-hot.
Ellen Page,who Merriman, however, denied the charges, and
spurred Sapphic speculation when the cutie
some believe that the athlete was only trying
took her power-lesbian PR flack Kelly Bush
to prevent Tequila from driving home drunk.
to the Oscars for Juno-hot.
Barrymore
Despite the bruising on Tequila's neck when
and Page costarring in Whip It, the movie she testified, the district attorney ultimately
about roller derby girls-hot.
A photo of dropped the charges for insufficient evidence.
Barrymore and Page kissing for a Marie Claire
Putting your significant other under arrest?
spread-hot. Barrymore rhapsodizing about
Well, that's one way to break up.
how Page has "such a beautiful body" and
how Page "was in her frickin' bra with an KissandTell
open jacket and hot-pink shorts, skating
The movie Jennifer'sBody has all the makings
around the rink with red lips and ... she was of a teenage boy's wet dream: schoolgirls,
sexy as a mother" - hot. Page mirroring the gore and the sex icon Megan Fox. And it
adoration by saying Barrymore's openness
also has a little something for us-namely,
is "so sexy" -hot. Really, do I need to say Fox making out with her lovely lady costar,
more? These two make my job easy.
AmandaSeyfried.Lucky us.
Fox, who is by no means shy about her
LoveGrip
appreciation of women, told MTV News that
OK, OK, we knew that Tila Tequila's
reality Seyfried was a little more hesitant about the
IdolTalk
20 Icurve
intimate scenes than she was. However, "I feel
much safer with girls;' Fox said, "So I felt more
comfortable kissing her in the movie than
kissing any of the other people that I had to
kiss:' Amen, sister.
It's NotOverTill...
As many of us know, relationships often
aren't over until the third (or fourth, or fifth)
breakup. So it should come as no surprise
that LindsayLohanis still throwing fits and
playing the role of Sam Ronson'sspurned
lover. According to Hollyscoop,Lohan had a
"blowup fight" with Ronson at the Bowery
Hotel in New York City, then threw a room
service tray at Ronson's hotel door. The only
problem? It was someone else's door. Oops.
Afterward, Lohan was escorted out of the
hotel, hopefully, to get the help she needs.
E
en
GossipGirlBeard?
Rumor is, GossipGirl star JessicaSzohris not
~
afraid to get up close and personal with the
ladies, despite a very public relationship with
costar Ed Westwick. The Globe reports that
Szohr was spotted "dirty dancing with a sexy
blonde at Avalon nightclub in Hollywood
and later caught the two locking lips and
fondling each other at a table:' Apparently,
Stallone and Flavor Flav ex BridgetteNielsen
enjoyed the show. ■
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Women's resorts, bars,
cafes, bookstores & more,
across the US, Canada,
Europe & beyond.
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tours, women's festivals,
pride celebrations,
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Call for a free catalog
I have a headache from crying
and from lack of sleep. I don't
want to take anything for it
because I need to feel bad
right now, and because I don't
have the energy to walk to the
medicine cabinet, and because
there is nothing worth taking
in there anyway.
I'm paralyzed with sadness. I
love her. I hate her.
If I had known how it was
going to end up, I would never
have gone on that first date
with her. Were there signs of
this on that day:' I must go
over and over that day in my
mind until I figure it out or
throw up.
Somewhere along the way, I
scared her off. I know, I am a
scary dyke.
For two decades, I have been collecting quotes
and tidbits from lesbian breakups around the
globe so that I could bring them to you in
one angst-packed, selfpitying loaf of drama.
If you are currently suffering the ill effects of
a breakup, let our past collective, obsessive
misery ignite your brighter future.
Waa! Why is this happening to me:' I try
to think about all the people in the world
who have it worse than me-people
with
life-threatening illnesses, political prisoners,
people hanging upside-down in single-car
accidents that nobody has found yet-but I
envy those folks right about now.
Time is supposed to heal all wounds, but I
feel worse than I did yesterday, when she
dumped me. That theory is ridiculous-just
like the one about love conquering all.
Last night, she said we just didn't feel that
connection. I felt so stupid, because I thought
we did. How could I have been connected to
somebody who was disconnected from me:'
That's the worst part: feeling stupid. When
she told me we didn't have a connection,
why didn't I just shut up, instead of prattling
on about trust and boundaries:' I'm one of
those psycho-babbling ninnies I make fun of
all the time.
It is a good thing I don't have to be at work
today, because if I did, they would just have
to fire me for not showing up. I need a drama
day, dammit.
I don't care about work or anything else. I am a
loser; I might as well be an unemployed loser.
If I can't work, then I won't have any money
for food, and I will just lie here and starve to
death. I need to lose weight anyway. Maybe
that is why she doesn't want to be with me:
I'm too fat. She said she loved my body, but I
guess she lied about that too. Every word that
came out of her mouth was a lie.
Screw her and her commitment phobia, fat
phobia and whatever else she is afraid of. I
have been rejected. It wasn't mutual. I thought
she was great and she thought I sucked.
I wish I could watch TV. I can't concentrate
enough to watch TV. Besides, everything
reminds me of her. Where's the remote:'
Maybe any voice will make me less lonely.
What language are these people speaking
anyway:' Doesn't matter: It's just background
for my depression.
She didn't give us a real chance. I think she
was hung up on her ex. Her ex dumped her
and then she dumped me. Crap rolls downhill, but why am I always at the bottom of the
hill:' I am tired of getting hit with turds.
She hasn't even called to see how I am doing.
What a creep. You'd think she would take
some responsibility for what she has done to
me. If she ran over me with her car, I hope she
would call to see how I was doing. Did I mean
so little to her that she doesn't even care that I
am hurting:' [Insert 10-minute cryingjag]
She is the one who asked me out. Why didn't
she just leave me alone:' She was probably
bored. No, she wanted to get even with the
world for getting dumped, so she picked
somebody she could dump. I was easy pickins.
She came on so strong, tossing her sexy hair
and rubbing my shoulder while we talked.
She made me feel like I was the only person in
the world. Why didn't I just say I was waiting
for somebody when she plopped herself down
next to me:' I was too available. I am always
too available. I should be more aloo£ But
Breakingup is hard to do, but we know
how youfeel. By Michele Fisher
22 I curve
to
be
e:
I
at
I hate those games. Maybe it is not a
game-maybe that is how lesbians are
supposed to act and, as usual, I just don't
get it. That is how I feel, like everybody
else knows how to act and I am left out of
the Lesbian Love Olympics. I am not even
on the bench. I am in the parking lot.
I
ht
Is this a Filipino soap opera I'm watching?
I don't know any Tagalog, but the main
character and I seem to be going through
much the same thing. Maybe her girlfriend just dropped by to say"get lost;' too.
I hear you, sister. It hurts.
e
g
e?
ly.
g
1d
e
er
e
How could I not have known what was
up? When she said she wanted to come
over last night, I thought she was going to
ask me to move in with her. She is always
complaining about what a pain in the butt
it is to park in my neighborhood. She
didn't have any trouble parking last night.
She called and then she was in and out
in 15 minutes. Three months of my life
invested and it's over in 15 minutes. One
quarter's worth of time on the meter to
break my heart. [More crying]
ce
0
e
n
I
't
y
e
How do people get through this? It does
not get easier with age. When I was 16
and went through it, I felt like nothing
was ever going to be the same again. I feel
exactly the same today. I feel worse, actually, because all those years have passed
and I am still in the same place. When I
was 16, I had my whole life ahead of me.
Now, who knows how much time I have
left? [Self-pitying whimper that I cannot
turn into crying, despite trying]
lr
lt
Maybe she will change her mind. She is
going to realize she made a huge mistake
and then call me and beg me to forgive
her. I won't. I will. She is not going to call.
She is out there having the time of her life
while I am suffering.
There is no way I am going to be her
friend after this.
I am never leaving this bed or this house
again. There's nothing but pain out there
for me.
I wonder if there is any ice cream left? It is
hard to take rejection lying down, but that
Rocky Road is another story. ■
SCENE
1 DrewBarrymoreat a LosAngelesProp.8 protest2 SharonGless(right)
andJ.D.Disalvatoreat the LosAngelespremiereof HannahFreeat Outfest3
Curvettesat LatinPridefestivalin SanFrancisco(fromleft):LaKeishaHughes,
FloEnriquezandSilviaCastellanos
4 LesbolinaJolie (right)with GingerFae
skatingfor CigarCityMafiain TempleTerrace,Fla.5 The18thAnnualDance
ForLife Benefitraised$170,000to fight HIV/AIDS
6 Lovelyladiesat the Sweet
partyat Orsonsin SanFrancisco7 Bellydancersat the SistahsSteppin'in
Pridefestival,Oakland,Calif.8 ShannonWentworth(left)at CambriaWomen's
Weekend9 SusanMikula'sphotographyreceptionin Provincetown,
Mass.,
(fromleft):GalleryownerTJ Walton,MikulaandpartnerRachelMaddow,
andgallerydirectorSusanTomasian10 Livin' it up at BlissWeekend11
Birthdaygirl ConnieKurtz(right)andlong-timepartnerRuthieBerman(left)
whosewinninglawsuitgavehealthbenefitsto same-sexpartnersin NewYork
state.12 Morefun at CambriaWomen'sWeekend13 CherylMazak(left)
andJen Raininat curve's HostHotelWelcomePartyat the Galleriain San
Francisco14 LisaLeslie(far left) of the LosAngelesSparks
24
Icurve
gm
.t ; ff; IA n. at thefrontof a 450-horsepower
airboat,
~
glidingovera footof waterat speedsso
remarkable,
thewholegroupof passengers-1Olesbians,mypartner
andme-has to lift ourarmsandswingthemto the lefteachtimewe
approach
a corner.I can'thearourcuteBelizean
Bak-a-Bush
guidetell
usthis because
of the protective
earphones
I'm wearing,butI cansee
herdimpledgrinasshelifts herarmsin imitationof the modernday
stadiumwave.Theride,thoughexhilarating,
wasn'tthe best
part.Indeed,aswe slowdownto gothroughAlmondHill
LagoonandIndianCreekto spycrocodiles,
manatees,
spider
monkeys
andat least40 differenttypesof birds(including
a gorgeous
toucan),I'm remindedof thesharedhumanity
represented
bythe peopleherein CentralAmericaandthe
gaywomenonthis OliviaCaribbean
cruise.Whetherwe're
floatingthrougha seriesof caveson innertubes,swimmingwithstingrays,ridinga ziplinethroughthejungle,
trudgingthroughMayanruinsor chuggingdownonetoo
manymargaritas
with ourfishtacos,herewe'realljust one
peopletryingto relateto eachother.
At everyport-Cozumel,Belize,Guatemala-Ileapoff
the boatto find a culturalexperience
or naturaladventure
that myworkingclassparentscouldneverimagine.I sendpostcards
home("Mom,todayI sawancientMayanruinsfrom400BC")aboutthe
stalactites,
the ruinsandthe reefs,leavingoutthestuffaboutnaked
boobiesat KeyWest'sFantasyFestandthatwonderfully
stationedtequila
tastingin Cozumel.
Eachtime I boardthe boat,I returnto a floating
festival-so manylesbiancomics(VickieShawandJulieGoldman,
to
namea few),musicians,
parties,womenof colorevents,dancingand
foodthat it makesmeimaginehowmuchsomeof myfellowtravelers
needthis."I suddenlyfoundmyselflost,"admits50-year-old
Bella,who
runsherownbusinessandhasfourteenagers
at home."I wasnotsure
whoI amandwhereI amgoing."Then,Bellawona freetrip fromOlivia
viaTwitterandshestill hasn'tstoppedsingingthepraises,notjust of
thewomenonthe boatbutof thesweatlodgeexperience
shehadat
Temazcal
Cozumel.
"It helpedmelet goof all of thecrapI hadbeen
carryingaroundfor so long,andjust beat peace."
Forme,actsassimpleasgettingmyhairbraidedbya transwoman
in Belize,lookingat theshanty-style
homesalongthe Gulfof Honduras
or learningaboutthefeministunderpinnings
of Guatemalan
culturewere
lifechanging.
Thoughcruisingona lesbianboatis affordable
now,it still
feelslikea luxury.That'swhatvacations
areall about,though."I'll never
beableto explainthisto myfriends,"a perky,26-year-old
blondenamed
Amytold me."It's like,for oneweektheoutsideworlddidn'texist."Amy
is a closetednursingstudentin theSanFrancisco
BayArea.I metherat a
poolpartywheretheburlesque
duoWauWauSistersandcurve advice
guruDipstickwereleadingteamsin a dildoringtosswhiletheGood
Vibrations
girlstalkedaboutsextoys.Thoughsheliveslessthan20 miles
fromboththecurve officeanda GoodVibesstore,she'dneverheard
of eitherone."Maybethis is the pushI needto tell people,to knowI'm
notalone."Therealitythatwe'renotalone,hereandabroad,is the best
vacationsouvenirof all.■
1
J
* All nameshavebeenchanged
FormerlyBalthazarRestaurant-whereBette,Jodi,TashaandAlicewentoutfor a bite
in seasonfive-Maxine's Hideaway
is a steakhouse
with attitude.Locatedinsidea
historicWestEndmansionrich in bothhistoryandambience,Maxine'scombinesa
sexyatmosphere
with someof Vancouver's
tastiestcarnivorous
fare,hostingnightly
entertainment
includingburlesque,
exoticcabaretandspecialperformances.
You'rebound
to haveall of yoursensoryappetitessated.(1215BidwellSt.,maxineshideaway.com)
This Hive Is Buzzing
Th Ho e
as used in
various scenes of The L Word,
and there's a good reason
why: They throw one of the
hottest Friday night parties
in Vancouver. Situated on the
edge of an area known as
Gastown, this small, swanky
spot is part of the Lotus Hotel,
along with its downstairs
sister clubs, Lick and Lotus.
(455 Abbot St., markjamesgroup.com/lotus_hotel)
It mayhaveprovidedJennywith somewritinginspiration,but
theVancouver
Aquariumisn'tjust a wet andwild placeto pass
a day-it's the largestaquariumin all of Canada.
Offering
adventures
thatteachyouhowtheir marinelife is fed and
trained-or sleepovers,
if you'reintoseeinghowthe seasleepsthis aquaticdisplayletsyouget morethanyourfeetwet.The
aquariumnowhasa babybelugawhalenamedTiqa,so,really,
what morereasondoyouneedto go?(StanleyPark,vanaqua.org)
Artistically Inclined
e e two h Porer Gallery, in season six, is actually the Buschlen
Mowatt Gallery. A modern and contemporary art oasis, Buschlen Mowatt
has been displaying some of the finest established and up-and-coming
artists since 1979. This gallery doesn't simply service beauty. It is dedicated
to community service, too, through the Buschlen owatt Foundation,
and sponsors countless food, outreach and youth programs.
(1445 West Georgia St., buschlenmowatt.com)
A buildingknownasTheIronworks
wasusedas
theexteriorof the Planetandvariousotherscenes
throughout
thetenureof TheL Word.It's a multiuse
spaceavailableasa locationfor films,TV,photographers
andhostingexhibitions
of contemporary
art.Inthe
Downtown
Eastside
areaof Gastown,
TheIronworks
studiospaceis partof the progressive
RailtownCultural
Enhancement
Association,
whichis dedicated
to
providing
affordable
spacefor artistsandviewersalike.
(235Alexander
St.,theironworks.ca)
Call of the Wild
s
e e in season two
and she and Moira plan their road
trip from its beer-stained barstools
in season three, but a loose
attitude, cheap drinks and the
hot staff are the real draw at Wild
Coyote, which also boasts a robust
roster of Vancouver's hottest DJs.
There's a large dance area, with
mezzanine seating above, so you
can look down at the crowd and
spot who's going to go home with
your number. There's something
going on every night of the week at
Wild Coyote, with the party going
strong until 3 a.m. (1312 SW Marine
Drive, wildcoyoteclub.com)
ThePacificNationalExhibition
wasthesite
of the basketballgamechallengeagainst
Papi'screwin seasonfour.In reallife,it
welcomessports,culturalandartsevents.
If you'revisitingbetweenAugust21 and
September
6, youwon'twantto missthe
100thAnniversary
of the summerFair.
Thislivelygatheringboastsa widearray
of activities,ridesandgames.(2901East
HastingsPark,pne.ca)
Hip Veggies
Yo
19
ot run into Shane at the Foundation Lounge, the way Niki
does in season six, but you will get some of the tastiest and cheapest
vegetarian and vegan food in Vancouver. Described as an "openconcept" space, this spot is known for being hip, innovative and
crowded during peak hours. Be prepared for hippies, hipsters and
a minimalist decorative flair. (2301 Main St., 604- 708-0881)
Inthe series,this hotspotis knownasthe NYCStarlightBarandit's
whereBettepicksupa twink in seasontwo. In reallife,it's called
WildRiceandit servescontemporary
Asiancuisinein a settingthat
harmonizes
yin andyang,utilizingthe principlesof fengshui.Thisnoted
nightspotoffersforksalongwith chopsticksanda chicambiencealong
with hipAsian-fusion
tapasthat arefit to share.It wonthe GoldenPlate
Awardsfor mostinnovativemenu2002-2005.Slinkupto the sexyice
barat the centerandorderyourselfa drink-and onefor yourtwink.
(117WestPender,
wildricevancouver.com)
JennytakesAdeleshoppingfor
a wholenewwardrobein season
five,andif youwantto followin
theirfootsteps,goto HoltRenfrew,
Vancouver's
premierspotfor
luxuriouswaresfor over170years.
Notonlydoesthis swankyshopping
meccaallowyouto browseandbuy
someseriouslydesignerduds,but
youcanalsogetyourlatestfinds
tailoredto yourbodytypewith Holt's
Tailoredto Measureservice.Anddon't
forgetto visitthe spa.(737Dunsmuir
St.,holtrenfrew.com)
Hig C
Remember
whenthegirlswereontheirway
to an Oliviacruiseandsecurityfounda dildoin
Dana'sbag?Let'shopeyoudon'thavethesame
experience
whenyoutravelthroughVancouver
International
Airport.Knownfor beingthehubfor the
2010Olympics,
whichis beinghostedbythecityof
Vancouver,
it's thesecond-busiest
airportin Canada.
Skytraxgaveit the"BestNorthAmerican
Airport
Award"in 2007and,asthebridgebetween
Asia
andCanada,
it hasmoretrans-Pacific
flightsthan
anyothercityinthecountry.(yvr.ca)
If youwantto try yourluckonthe horses,likethe gangdid
in seasonfour,headto HastingsRacecourse.
Eversince
thetrackopenedin 1889,it's beenthesiteof Vancouver's
fastestfillies.Jointhe crowdfor the racesanyweekendfrom
AprilthroughNovember
or on FridaynightsfromJunethroughSeptember.
(PacificNationalExhibit,Gate8 or 9, hastingsracecourse.com)
Hollywood North
If you want to catch a show at the theater where
the girls saw Heart, head to the Vogue. This 1,200seat theater was founded in 1941 and is an ideal
downtown venue for events large and small, from
one-woman shows to massive corporate powwows.
Not only is it renowned for its art deco style and
eclectic combination of musical, performing arts
and business events, the Vogue Theater is also the
venue for the Vancouver International Jazz Festival,
as well as the Vancouver International Film Festival.
(918 Granville St., voguevancouver.com}
g D gs
Tinareceived
a Peabody
Foundation
AwardandgotscoopedawayfromBetteby
Helenaat theSuttonPlaceHotel,a European-style
hotelin theheartofVancouver,
withinwalkingdistanceof spas,art galleriesandthechicshopping
areaof Robson
Street.SuttonPlaceunitesthestaggeringly
beautifulsurroundings
of mountains
andseawithsleekandluxurious
roomsandamenities.
Thehotel'sFleuri
Restaurant
offersthefinestFrenchContinental
cuisine,andthe GerardLoungeis
knownfor its martinisandisthe recipientof its ownaward-the "Bronze"for Best
Bar/Lounge
by Vancouver
magazine.
(845BurrardSt.,suttonplace.com)
HITTHEPOWDER
TOSHOWYOURPRIDE
FromVancouver
to Ve
arethe placeto be.
, the slopes
Fora cold weatherdestination,
Vancouver,B.C.,hostsoneof the
hottestgay getawaysin North
America.GayWhistler'sannual
WinterPRIDE
festival is morethan
just a gay ski week-it's the
ultimatesnowygaycation.And
this year's party will be moreepic
than ever.Helddirectly after the
Olympics,March1-8, WinterPRIDE
201Opromisesto be bigger,better
and gayer.As soonas the torch is
extinguished,all the Olympicflags
will be replacedwith rainbowflags,
as Whistleris transformedinto a colorful queermecca.
"This is an awesometime to come up, experience
the energyand havethe full mountainto yourself," says
DeanNelson,mediarelations representativefor Whistler.
(Well,yourself and thousandsof other lesbians.)This
year'swomen'seventsincludeall-girl club nights,
ladies-onlybackcountrysnowmobiling,snowshoeingand
dogsleddingtrips (completewith vintage-styletrapper
gearand aprespartiesin the woods)and a new champagneand manicureeventcalled Bubblesand Boobies.
Plus,manyof the eventswill be held at the Pride House,
a new building designedto housegay athletes during
the OlympicGames.(gaywhistler.com)
If you can't makeit all the way to Vancouver,
there are
plentyof gay ski eventscloserto home.Hereare someof
the best slope-sideparties:
CALIFORNIA
March17-21 (mammothgayski.com)
March7-14 (laketahoewinterfest.com)
COLORADO
Feb.20-27 (tellurideskiresort.com)
Jan.17-24 (gayskiweek.com)
Jan.27-31 (vailgayskiweek.com)
MONTANA
Feb5-7 (bigskyresort.com)
UTAH
VERMONT
Jan.20-24 (stowe.com)
FORGETYOUR G-SPOT
All the buzz is on the cul-de-sac these days.
The female body, while we love it so, seems to produce new
and more mysterious sexual ways every day. The G-spot and
clit were hard enough for us to figure out, but now names like
"cul-de-sac" are being thrown about. (No, it doesn't refer to
a circular dead-end street.) Sex educator and "spots" expert
Jessica Bain chats with fellow Good Vibrations alum Yana
Tallon-Hicks to help us figure this one out.
Whatis thecul-desacandwhereis it?
The cul-de-sac refers to the area of the vagina around the
cervix. I have to say, this is a clever little moniker, and the
■
HAVE first time I've heard it. Anatomically speaking, this area is the
YOUEVER fornix, the area of the vagina into which the cervix protrudes.
FAKED
AN Pleasurably speaking, some people refer to the anterior
ORGASM?
fornix, on the front of the vaginal wall, as the 'i\.-spot" or the
6 Yes 'i\.FE ( anterior fornix erogenous) zone:'
38YoNo
Howdoyoustimulatethis"A-spot"youspeakof?
According Stimulation of the A-spot is similar to that of the G-spot, but
to a curvemag.compoll
not exactly the same because anatomically they are different.
Direct, focused pressure is what seems to be the most universally satisfying. Motion, or hooking, which works against the
?
30 I curve
-
-~~~
--
--
---
--
~
----
G-spot's spongy tissue, doesn't seem to be as pleasurable for
most folks as simple firm pressing.
Now ha I kno ha_to _o _
w doI findit?CanI findit
onmyown?DoI needhelpfroma p, rtn ortoy?
You can find this area on your own so long as you can reach
that far into your own body, but the search would probably
be much more fun with a partner doing the reaching. A good
idea is to familiarize yourself with the area before you get
your sex on, as in, when you're not turned on. Most people
aren't that familiar with how the inside of their vagina feels
that far in. So, dig in and figure out where that area is around
the cervix, then let your partner know about it.
"I
As far as toys go, any longer, firm, G-spot toy with a
defined curve at the end will work lovely with the A-spot as
well. Also, there are some great wands on the market that are
geared toward prostate stimulation for male-bodied folks.
These typically have a distinct curve on the end and then
an extra bump an inch or two down. These are great toys to
use with vaginas as well, because they hit two birds with one
stone-the
curve presses against the A-spot while the bump
pushes into the G-spot. Marvelous.
I
.
c
2
•2
or
it
h
a
as
re
s.
n
to
e
P
f
Whatare somegoodcul-de-sac-ishpositionsfor
• e o ry o t at home?
If you are looking for a sex position or activity
that's going to hit the A-spot, fisting can be a
good option, if it's feasible for a person. Also,
any position where the recipient has her knees
tucked closer into their chest will make it easier
to get to the A-spot, whether you're doing it
with hands, a toy or a strap-on.
spot mulatio leadto o ·gasm?
What people experience from A-spot stimulation varies. I've read in some academic papers
that the AFE zone causes the vaginal walls to
lubricate more when stimulated. I'm not sure
what the scientific explanation is behind that, so
I can't quite jump on board with that theory yet.
What I do know is that the sensation evoked
when stimulating the A-spot is very deep and
so, in my opinion, it can lead to very intense
orgasm. What is important to keep in mind,
though, is that rarely is an orgasm the result of
a singular sensation. The key is to incorporate a
number of stimulating activities into your sexual
encounters to better increase your chances, or
number, or intensity of orgasm.
So,shouldI Justrun aroundpressingthe A-spotof
er, g·rI ta home?
It is important to remember that every single
person's body is different from the next. Some
women may like A-spot stimulation, others may
care less and some may even find it uncomfortable. Communicate with your partner to figure
out whether or not it feels good. Also important
to note is that the A-spot is right next to the
cervix, so be careful. I can say, without a doubt,
that most women don't like pressure on their
cervix, so know where you're pressing before
going for the gusto, or you're likely to get kneed
in the jaw.
I
re ·eallyan A-spot,or is it like the G-spot,
wheresomepeopleswearby it andothersjust
thin it's a myth?
Some people speak of the G-spot as if it were
a mythological region, and I've heard the A-spot
referred to in the same way. Your body is not
~ a myth, folks. These areas exist whether you
~~ believe they do or not. All vaginas h ave a
~ paraurethral sponge ( the G-spot) and an ante~ rior fornix (the A-spot). Whether or not t hey
0
z
~ are pleasure zones is what differs between one
a:
8 vagina and the next. The myth is that these"spots"
~ are orgasmic miracle workers. The real orgasmic
miracle workers are communication, self-knowl~
, <1: edge and experimentation. Have at it! ■
!
5 FACTS ABOUT
DOWN THERE
Thereare so manygreatthings aboutbeing
a woman-the ability to createlife, have
multipleorgasms,multitaskand order
a fruity umbrellacocktail without being
judged,to namejust a few. But with these
privilegescomeresponsibilities,oneof
which is learninghowto live with a pelvis
that is inherentlyunstable.Anythingthat
needsto be watertightand alsoallow for
the safepassageof an infant's headhas
got to be bothstrongandflexible.A healthy
pelviscan ward off potentialhealthproblemssuchas incontinence,painfulsexual
intercourse,the inabilityto orgasmand,
maybeworst of all, pelvicorganprolapse
(an agonizingproblemthat occursin up to
50 percentof womenwho havegivenbirth,
in whichorganssuchas the uterus,bladder
or bowelprotrudeinto the vaginadueto
weaknessin the tissuesthat normally
supportthem).So hereare five facts you
shouldknow aboutkeepingyour pelvis
happyandhealthy.
1. Threegroupsof musclesmakeup the
pelvicfloor,includingthe outer-most
muscle,which is shapedlike a figure eight
surroundingthe anusandthe vagina.These
nuscleswork togetherto keepsomethings
n (gestatingbabies)and let otherthings
ut (urine,feces,babieswho are ready).
YogainstructorLeslieHowardleadspelvic
floor workshopsfor womenwhereshe uses
pictures,3-0 visualaids,exercisesand
metaphorsto helpwomenvisualizetheir
anatomy:"Think of yourtorso as a tote bag
for your organs,"shesays."Thepelvicfloor
is the bottomof the tote bag.Someonewith
a weak pelvicfloor hasa tote bagthat is
aboutto havethe bottomfall out."
2. Upto 50 percentof all womenexperience
someincontinenceduringtheir lifetime
andonein four womenoverthe ageof 18
experienceepisodesof involuntarilyleaking
urine.Becauseof the shameassociated
with incontinence,manywomengiveup
things they love,such as running,dancing
or evenleavingthe housein orderto hide
their problem.If you are strugglingwith the
commonpostpregnancydoublewhammy
of incontinenceandweight gain,be aware
that manyexercises,suchas crunchesand
squats,put extra pressureon the muscles
of the pelvicfloor and maycausemore
problemsthan theysolve.
3. Kegelexercises are namedafter
Dr.Arnold Kegel,a LosAngeles-based
gynecologistwho beganpromotingthem
as a curefor incontinencein the late1940s.
Thougheveryonewith a vaginaowesa tip of
the hat to this pioneeringdoctor,who helped
manywomencure their incontinence
without surgery,Howardfirmly believes
that the most-frequentlyprescribedvaginal
exerciseshouldnot be namedafter a man.
Sheprefersto call them "diamonds."
Also,his exerciseswere neverintended
to be performedwithout biofeedback,as
they are much less effective without it.
His kegel perineometerallowed womento
feel, measureand developgreatercontrol
of their pelvic floor muscles.Unfortunately,
afterhis deaththis devicefell out of common
use and womenwere left squeezingin
the dark onceagain.If youembarkon a
missionto retrainyour pelvicfloor muscles,
makesureyoufind a qualifiedprofessional,
usuallya physicaltherapist,to provideyou
with the educationandbiofeedbackthat will
greatlyincreaseyoursuccess.
4. Vetanotherreasonto hate episiotomies:
the all-too commonbirthing practicecuts
throughthe pelvicfloor muscles,decimatingtheir strength.Thoughepisiotomies
are no longera standardpart of vaginal
birth, manyexpertsstill feel that they are
performedfar too often. If you're havinga
baby,makesure you tell your doctoryour
opinionof this practice.
5.Learningto relaxandstrengthenyourpelvic
floormusclesnotonlyreducesincontinence
andotherproblems,it increasessexual
satisfaction.Everyonecan benefitfrom
pelvic floor muscles.
[HeatherRobinson]
January/February
2010
I 31
SEXY TOYS GET SMART
The latest buzz on today's titillating technology. By Yana Tallon-Hicks
of a button. And then it remembers them. Unforgettable
in more ways than one, SaSi actually records your top
picks into a "favorites" memory bank for you to come
back to. ($149, goodvibes.com)
?
■
WHAT'S
YOUR
NAUGHTIEST
POSmON?
%
Against
a wall {or
showeror
whatever
...)
22%
Myfeet,her
shoulders Afraid of being outsmarted by new-fangled sex toys? Today's
{'nuffsaid)
sex toy lines now boast greenly rechargeable toys, endless
17 Yo
Reverse vibration patterns, memory cards and price-justifying onecowgirl{any year warranties. With all the new technological advances,
typeof the sex toys of 2010 are giving any tech-savvy girl something
cowgirl,
actually) to tweet about. They can't preprogram the perfect girlfriend
upgrade yet, but they're getting closer with these high-end
10%
Everyone brainiac vibrators whose futuristic functions will have you
getsa go calling them anything but toys.
{don'tmake
mecount
UE' SASI:As the advertising promises, "like a good lover,
it out) J
SaSi
remembers what you like:' This intuitive rechargeable
3%
Solo(Ijust vibrator takes sex toys to a new level, with a rotating nub
neverliked that makes Je Joue's SaSi the only vibe
sharing)
on the market to create a sensation that
According
to a feels an awful lot like that little something
curvemag.com
poll
weborrowed
from
ourstraight-girl ending in "lingus." In one mode, SaSi
counterpart,
Cosmo puts you in control of its countless nubby
sensation patterns, and in the other, this
intelligent vibe takes you through 36
preprogrammed
settings, allowing you
to single out your favorites with a click
32
I curve
WE-VIBE:Rechargeable and designed
every step of the way with a woman's
input, the We-Vibe is the only vibrator
made specifically to be worn internally
during sex. A vibrating motor in each
end of this C-shaped vibe has this toy
working simultaneously on the inside
and the outside, reaching both the more
accessible "C" spot and that harder-toreach G-spot and leaving your hands free to roam. Be warned
that everybody's body is different, so if this toy has a vibe you
can't get into, get creative with its nonbulky ultra-flexibility.
Dyke Tip: The We-Vibe fits purrfectly underneath a harness
for a little extra motivational boost. ($130, babeland.com)
LELO'SMIA: While Lelo's Swedish line of sleek-looking
rechargeable toys are always a classy pick, the Mia was made
especially with femmes in mind. Perfectly disguised as a tube
of lipstick, this tiny vibe packs a powerful punch and won't
cause a stir if kept in your purse (especially with its practical
travel-lock). Futuristic femmebots on-the-go will love the
added perk that this PC- and Mac-compatible toy charges in
the USB port of your computer. Convenient. ($64, lelo.com)
OHMIBOD'S
CLUB.Do your regular nights at the local dyke bar
need a pick-me-up? Tuck in the Club Vibe next time you go
out. Small and discreetly wearable, with a clip-on controller
for pockets and belts, this ultimate party favor helps you keep
the beat with three settings: Plain ol' "manual" has you surfing through seven vibration patterns, while "music" connects
straight to your iPod and vibes to the beat and volume. Been
there, done that? The Club Vibe turns it up a notch with "ambient;' an innovative setting that picks up the patterns of sounds
around you through a speaker in the battery pack, and then
vibrates accordingly. Crank up the tunes at home, go out to
a bass-happy club or simply whisper sweet
nothings in its ear. You'll know it's listening.
($49, ohmibod.com)
JIMMYJANE'SFORM6:JimmyJane has dolled
up the vibrator so much with its wondervibe, the Form 6, that it is now being
sold at your neighborhood Bed, Bath and
Beyond-as
a neck massager, of course.
c
s
[e
p
e
Work out those kinks with this six-mode toy that somehow
manages to be rechargeable and waterproof. Enjoy the spice of
life with vibration patterns rangingfrom"gende oscillations" to
"exhilarating pulses;' as well as two different insertable ends
and dual motors. Feeling a little fuzzy afterward? Form 6
will power itself down if you forget to turn it off and will
remember which vibration combination you ended with,
which it will then resume for you when you're ready for
more. ($185, jimmyjane.com)
THANGEL.
Are rechargeable vibes just not green enough
for you Birkendykes? Try out Irish-born vibe the Earth
Angel, the "world's first green technology sex toy:' Made
completely from recycled materials (in product and packaging),
the greenest of the green can power up this wind-up vibe
with a crank built into the base of the toy. The power core
in the Earth Angel generates enough juice for instant intense
vibration and will store unused energy for later, with external
light patterns indicating how much power you have left.
Seeing that four whole minutes of cranking will bring you
just 30 minutes of vibration, you may be better off using that
cranking hand elsewhere, but this one-of-a-kind concept is
still worth mentioning. ($89, goodvibes.com) ■
the body,the
heavierball
Accordingto a recentpoll,almosthalf moveswith your
of you knowwhat Kegelexercisesare bodymovement
and breathing,
but don't do them.Kegelswork out
causingyourPC
yourpubococcygeus
(PC)muscles,
musclesto react.Imagine:If someone
which contractduringthat little thing
tappedyou on the arm,yourmuscle
calledan orgasm.Thestrongerthe
wouldtenseup; similarly,the round
PCmuscles,the strongerandmore
frequentthe orgasms.Now,you might shapeand rattlingof the beadswill
causethe vaginalmusclesto flex,
be thinking,I don't evenhavetime
givingthem a goodworkout.They're
to havean orgasm,and and now I'm
expectedto sit in one place,concen- discreetandcomfortable-you can
tonewhile youvacuum,groceryshop
trate on my breathingand isolate
or watchTV.Adda Iii' extraoomph
somevaguecrotch muscles1Oto 15
to your run,shakeup yourcommute
times a day?Please.
Luckyfor you,busypower-lesbian, or stick it to the manwhile paying
your bills. Becarefulnot to overexert
just like talkingto yourgirl on your
BlackBerry,evenKegels havegone
yourselfthough.PCexercisersvary in
how heavythey are,so start light, or,
handsfree. LunaBeadsby LELOare
betteryet,with LELO'sfour-packof
two connectedweightybeadsinside
differentlyweightedLunaBeads.Doa
siliconeshells,which are inserted
(lubehelps),leavingthe string outside little winter-trainingregimenbefore
the body,muchlike a tampon(but
the, uh, springseasonstarts. [Yana
with sexierresults).Onceinside
Tallon-Hicks]
VAJAYJAYWORKOUT
g
opportunity to think solely about
yourself, keeping these handy tips
in mind.
e
1. Get Your Questions Answered.
Today's sex shops aren't relegated
to dark alleys. Vibrators are being
sold in places as innocuous as
Wal-Mart and CVS drugstores. Best
yet, women-owned stores like Good
Vibrations and Babeland employ an
open-minded, educated staff and
offer a comfortable, queer-friendly
shopping environment.
n
,:,0
r
p
Today, the vibrator is as common in
households as the toaster. According
to two new national surveys in The
Journal of Sexual Medicine, 53 percent of women report having used a
vibrator. But, it turns out, your mom
was right: Everybody is different.
And this is especially true when it
comes to vibrators. Like food, the sex
toy that one person finds absolutely
delicious may just not suit another's
taste. So before you drop $90 on the
Rabbit just because you saw it on
Sex and the City, take this unique
no You
ate •
While you
can disinfect silicone toys with good
ol' soap and water, you'll want to use
condoms over porous elastomer and
jelly rubber, as they can hang on to
residue and germs.
Conside
e Ins an O s. longer
toys can be inserted or used as
external vibrators, while giving you
that extra reach for partner play.
Something with a curved end will
make the G-spot less allusive, and
"twice-as-nice" toys (like the Rabbit)
work both internally and externally.
4 Chee Your Sp edometer While
that tiny one-speed bullet may be
cute, if its single setting doesn't take
you there, you just wasted 20 bucks.
A vibe featuring multiple speeds,
strengths and even pulsations allows
you to explore what works for you.
5. Calcula e. Vibrators don't last
forever. The price generally reflects
a toy's lifespan, and that rare oneyear warranty is usually worth the
extra cost.
6. Get Specific Aquatic? Get
something waterproof. Shy? Vibes
disguised as lipstick tubes or bath
toys are extra-discreet. Green? Invest
in something rechargeable.
fr a N es Trust your instincts. If
something just seems right, chances
are it is. And I promise, whatever vibe
you choose will serve you even better
with good lube. [YanaTallon-Hicks]
January/February
2010
I33
FALLIN'HARD
FOR A WHISKEY
DRINKIN'GIRL
Learning to appreciate the sweet
burn of a love that got away.
By Heather Robinson
As I write this, there is a glass of bourbon whiskey beside
me, its golden liquid seeming to glow from within. Looking
at whiskey used to make me wince. I dreaded its harshness
and mean taste. At bars I ordered a beer and sometimes a
vodka cocktail if I wanted something more potent. I would
probably have left the brown stuff alone forever if it hadn't
been for my Banjo Girl.
We met on my 30th birthday, when I found myself at a redneck bar without the sense to realize that asking every girl in
the bar to two-step might not be warmly received by the local
color. After several whirls around the floor, I returned to the
bar thirsty, sweaty and revved up. That's when I first saw her,
staring at me in a shameless way. She wore tight Levi's on her
long cowgirl legs and had her shiny dark hair pulled back into
braids. I forgot that I was thirsty and asked her to dance.
Later, she told me she had always wanted a girlfriend.
Banjo Girl had road-tripped down from Canada with
only some bluegrass music and her big white dog for
company. We kissed in the moonlight and I remember the
sharp bite of whiskey on her breath. On our first date, we
hiked up a mountain and are chocolate and strawberries at
34 I curve
the peak, and I learned that my cowgirl was an archeologist
who shopped at the organic food store, played the banjoand
drank whiskey straight up. Since I wasn't planning on learning to fingerpick or eat kale nuggets, I decided I would leam
to like whiskey. How hard could it be?
Damn hard, it turns out. Even though Canadian whisky
tends robe lighter than whiskies made in Europe or America,
(and also spelled differently-in Ireland and America, whiskei
is spelled with an "e";elsewhere, without) I couldn't get used
to the afcerburn, aftertaste and afterfeel.
As Banjo Girl and I got to know each other better, I started
keeping che mysterious brown liquid in my pantry, in hopeful
anticipation of her visits. While she was there, I would drink
through my pain, trying to hold back my grimaces. Banjo
Girl was so gorgeous, with her irresistible accent, dry wit and
flushed cheeks, that I was willing to drink almost anything
for her. Then she moved back to Canada, where she still
roams and drinks, and for a while I stopped trying to acquire
a fondness for whiskey.
Bur I still wished I had learned to love the stuff. Whiskey
is a lonely prairie night in a glass, a gulp of wild cowgirl
with overtones of campfire, leather and Thelma and Louise.
Whiskey is the drink of the heartbroken, the restless, the
nomadic wanderer, and I wanted it to be my drink, too.
So, several tastings and a few years later, what I ended
up liking about whiskey was the very thing I had originally
hated. It refuses to go quietly, will not be gulped and, even
when smooth, has a delicate burn. Good whiskey forcesyou
to slow down and take notice, just the opposite of a lightice·
cold beer. The flavors are earthy and complex, like smoke,
oak, pear and burnt fruit. It's the closest thing I've found
to meditation in a glass. As I've gotten older, I've learnedto
crave that gentle burn, like a broken heart that's had a chance
to mellow. It's a sweet pain chat brings me back and helps me
remember all that I've lost and all that I still have. Though
appreciating whiskey may rake some effort, for me, it was
worth the pain, like knowing Banjo Girl.
Whiskey is essentially brandy made from beer instead of
wine and is usually made in places where the weather is
too inhospitable for growing grapes. Ir is believed that the
first whisky was made in Scotland and was so fierce that only
brawny Highlanders could get it down. The strong stuff made
its way to the ew World when European seeders brought
their distilling traditions with chem and starred making
whiskey in the British colonies. When the slave trade ended,
drying up the supply of cheap rum, and the colonies revolted,
whiskey became the spirit of choice for a young America.
Whiskey was as common as sweat in the settling of
America. Anne Royall, considered by some co be the fir5t
female journalist in the United States, noted, "I am afraidm)'
brave Tennesseans indulge too great a fondness for whiskey.
When I was in Virginia it was too much whiskey. The Ohio
story was the same: too, too much whiskey:'
In thirsty San Francisco, there was one taproom for
every 100 men. Americans were so fond of their homegrown
pick-me-up that when the government tried to tax distilled
spirits, it succeeded in fomenting the Whiskey Rebellion of
1794. It took an army bigger than any assembled during the
Revolutionary War to quell Pennsylvania's angry whiskeymaking farmers. Afterward, many of those rebels headed
down to less-regulated Kentucky, where bourbon was born.
Whiskey is fiercely married to the land it comes from:
Scotch whisky must be made in Scotland, Canadian whisky
in Canada; Irish whiskey must hail from the Green Isle and
bourbon is usually made in Kentucky.
Bourbon, like jazz and Sesame Street, is a quintessentially
American creation. For a whiskey to call itself bourbon,
it must be made from 51 percent corn mash and must be
aged for at least two years in new charred oak barrels. It can
be made anywhere in the United States, but more than 95
percent of bourbon is made in Kentucky, where the local
water is said to make the grass blue, the horses frisky and
the women beautiful.
Whiskey needs to be aged and mellowed in order to fully
develop. When freshly made, it's colorless, flavorless and
only good for getting smashed. Only after sitting around
and thinking about what it has done does whiskey gain the
character and flavor it is known for. Most whiskey takes its
flavor from the charred oak barrels it's aged in, while Scotch
whisky is dominated by the smoke of the peat fires used to
dry the malted barley it is made with. Some whiskies are
aged for as little as two years, but the better brands spend 8
to 12 years developing. ■
St
a,
g
II
re
r
rl
e.
The best way to appreciate whiskey is by sampling different
varieties and brands. Here are some faves to start with.
MAKER'S
MARK
KENTUCKY
STRAIGHT
BOURBON
TIJLLAMORE ELIJAH
DEW12CRAIG
YEAR-OLD KENTUCKY
SPECIAL
STRAIGHT
RESERVE
BOURBON
A smooth
ThisIrish
deliveryand whiskey
richoaktaste featuresa
makethis a
beautiful
greatoption goldenhue
for neophytes;anda soft
gentle
tastethat
enoughto
lingers,
besipped
leavinga
straightand mildhint
alsomakes of sweet
a great
honey.
Manhattan.
Darkerand
stormier
thanMaker's
Mark,but
still smooth
enoughto
sip. If it's your
first time at
the whiskey
rodeo,the
robustand
strongflavors
maybe a
bit overwhelming.
GLENLIVET
PURESINGLE
MALT
SCOTCH
WHISKY
LAPHROAIG
SINGLE
MALT
SCOTCH
WHISKY
You'llhaveto
channel
your inner
Highlander
to knockthis
stuff back.
Theflavor is
aggressive
andthe burn
feels like
a four-alarm
fire in your
mouth.
This10-yearold whisky
featuresthe
smoky,peaty
flavorthat
Scotchis
knownfor.
Laphroaig,
pronounced
"la-froyg,"
is a Gaelic
wordmeaning
"the beautiful
hollowby the
broadbay."
OUR SEXPERTBIOS
JESSICA BAIN is a Good Vibrations sex educator and
"spots" extraordinaire who knows everything about those
hard to find places. When she's not helping us discover
ourselves, she's making pottery, including a line of
nipple-centric ceramics.
YANA TALLON-HICKS majored in queer, gender and
sexuality studies and received over 40 hours of training
on sexual health, sex toys and anatomy as a sex educator and sales associate for Good Vibrations. She currently
lives in Massachusetts with her girlfriend.
if
~
2
0
HEATHER ROBINSON is a personal trainer and health
writer. Her sex education has consisted almost entirely of
on the job training. She encourages talking through awkward moments, using lots of lube and stretching regularly.
VALENTINE'SDAYBY HAND
These sensual foods will have her licking your fingers.
By Vanessa Barrington
\Vhy not head into che kitchen and gee in couch with your sensual side chis V-Day? Food is already sensual to begin with, but
chis menu is designed to make it even sexier by encouraging you to experience the textures of the different components with
your fingertips. When you ear with your hands, you slow down and savor the food-and the company-even
more. There are
plenty of aphrodisiacs in these Southeast Asian-inspired dishes, like garlic, aromatics and chocolate. The flavors are big and
lusty, yet the menu is light. Ir will leave you inspired and ready to indulge in each other.
GARLIC-LIMEMARINATEDCHICKEN
Make some sticky rice to
go with this and you won't
need utensils. Simply pick
up a ball of rice with your
fingers and then tear off
a bit of chicken. Dip them
in the sauce together.
Sticky rice is available at
Southeast Asian grocery
stores and is easy to
prepare by following
the instructions on the
package, but you must
allow several hours to soak
the rice.
1/2 teaspoon whole black
peppercorns, divided
2 garlic cloves, peeled
1/2 a small shallot, peeled
pinch of salt
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1 tablespoon fish sauce
6 tablespoons lime juice,
divided (about 2 limes)
1/2 to 3/4 pound boneless,
skinless chicken thighs
With a mortar and pestle,
pound together 1/4
teaspoon peppercorns
and the garlic, shallot and
salt to make a paste.
Add sugar, fish sauce,
and 3 tablespoons of lime
juice. Stir to dissolve the
sugar.Put the chicken in a
baking dish and pour the
marinade over, rubbing
it in so it penetrates the
chicken well. Marinate
for 30 minutes at room
temperature.
Preheat the oven to 400
degrees.
Make a dipping sauce by
pounding the remaining
peppercorns until coarsely
ground. Add the remaining
lime juice. Set aside.
Bake the chicken for 20to
25 minutes, until cooked
through and beginning
to brown, basting
occasionally with the
marinade in the pan.
SOUTHEASTASIAN LETTUCEWRAPS
So fun to eat! Alternate
between nibbles of these
fresh, crisp lettuce wraps
and the garlicky chicken
and rice.
12 ounces firm tofu, cut
into 1/2-inch cubes, or
one catfish filet
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon fish sauce
pressing:
2 cloves garlic, peeled
and finely chopped
1/3 cup fish sauce
1/3 cup freshly squeezed
lime juice
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon Thai chili
sauce
Garnish:
peeled and finely chopped
cucumber
finely diced red onion
finely chopped cilantro,
mint and Serrano chilies,
with seeds
chopped roasted peanuts
Filling:
1 tablespoon peanut oil
Wrap:
Whole iceberg lettuce
leaves, washed and dried
Whisk together the
dressing ingredients in a
small serving bowl. Set
aside.
Prepare the garnish and
place on a large platter in
little piles or in individual
bowls.
Heat the peanut oil in a
heavy skillet over mediumhigh heat. Add the tofu
and let it cook, stirring,
occasionally, until it is
warmed through and
beginning to brown. Add
thesoysauc~sugarand
fish sauce. Cook, stirring,
for a few minutes, until
the flavorings fully coat
the tofu. (If you're using
catfish, cook the filet on
both sides until cooked
through and then add the
sauces and sugar to coat.)
Place the filling in a
bowl and serve with the
garnishes and dressing on
the side, place the lettuce
leaves on a separate
platter.
Fill the lettuce leaves with
tofu or catfish and garnish,
spooning the dressing
over each portion. Wrap
and eat out of her hands.
CHOCOLATE-LEMONGRASS
POTSOF CREME
Serve these with fresh
fruit and buttery cookies.
No need for utensils.
4 stalks of lemongrass
1 cup whole milk
1 cup heavy cream
4 ounces pure dark
chocolate (70% to 80%)
6 egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar
Cut off both the roots
and the thin ends of the
lemongrass, so you have
about four inches of the
bottom part of the stalk.
Pound the stalks with the
dull edge of a knife to
break them down a bit.
Cut them into slices and
put them in a small, heavy
saucepan.
Pour the milk and cream
into the saucepan and
heat slowly over mediumlow heat, until the mixture
is scalded but has not
boiled. Tiny bubbles
will form just under the
surface. Turn off heat,
coverandletsteepfor
30 minutes.
Meanwhile, chop the
chocolate into small
pieces and set it in a
medium metal bowl over
a saucepan of simmering
water to melt slowly,
stirring occasionally. Once
the chocolate is smooth,
turn off heat and let sit.
While the oven is
preheating to 300 degrees,
put the egg yolks in a
medium bowl and add the
sugar. Whisk vigorously
for about three or four
minutes until the yolks are
pale yellow and airy, and
the sugar has dissolved.
Set aside.
Set eight four-ounce
ramekins (creme br0lee
dishes) in a large roasting
pan. Pour water into the
roasting pan until it comes
halfway up the sides of the
ramekins.
Strain the cream into
the melted chocolate,
discarding lemongrass,
and whisk to combine.
Pour the mixture into a
blender and process until
there are no flecks of
chocolate.
Pour a few tablespoons
of the chocolate-cream
mixture into the egg yolks
and whisk to temper
them. Pour a little more
in, whisking until the egg
yolks are roughly the
same temperature as the
chocolate. Combine the two
completely and whisk well.
Pour the custard mixture
into the ramekins, dividing
it evenly. Cover the pan
with aluminum foil and
transfer it carefully to the
oven. Bake for 35 to 40
minutes, until the custards
are just barely set along
the edges and still liquid
inside. Allow to chill in the
refrigerator for at least two
hours before serving to
your lucky lady.
January/February
2010
I37
NAUGHTY OR NICE?
The gifts you didn't get last month, but should have.
THE NAUGHTY
1. SizeMatters
MileHigh'scompactanddiscreetTeaseMobile
IntimacyKitfits perfectlyintoa purseor coat
pocketandincludesa whisper-quiet
massager,
lube,condomsand-our fave-a lipstickmirror.
($23,mile-high.net)
0
2 Ge a Grip
Staveoff CarpelTunnelSyndrome
with the black
nylonandneopreneLa PalmaGloveby SpareParts
HardWear,
whichcanbe usedwith a dildoor alone
for masturbation.
Thebestpart?It hastwo little
pocketsonthe palmside,sothe wearercaninsert
the two minibulletvibratorsit comeswith.Andthe
carryingcaseattachesto a chainthatfits in your
pocket.($140,kittystoybox.com)
3 oubleDuty
Wishyouhada pleasuremachineso discreet
it wouldn'tgetsecurityguardsgigglingat the
airport?Trythe newTinge,a phthalate-free,
ecofriendlyelectricrazorthat is reallya vibrator.With
the capon it's a "massager,"
andwith it off it's a
realrazor.It's gota cordlesscharger(onecharge
offersovertwo dozen10-minuteuses)andcomes
with lubethat doesdoubleduty,too (shavegel
meetslube).($80,mytinge.com)
4 GiveMe a Hander Finger
OphoriaFingerVibesaresilicone-sleeved
onetouchtoysin a rainbowof popcolors.Simplyslide
the colorfulsheathoveryourfinger,pressthe button andgetto work.Yourhandneverfelt so good.
($14,goodvibes.com)
5 '80sRetroin a Lube
Wet'snewKiwiStrawberryFlavoredIntimacyGel
smellswonderful,likethosefruity LipSmackers
yourhighschoolcrushwore.I challengeyouto
useit withoutimagininga timewhenyourhormoneswereraging,the girlsall smelledso nice
andyoulongedto showthe worldyouwerea big
ol' dyke.($6,drugstore.com)
6 RubMyWormie& Rub y Due ·e Pirate
Yakall youwantaboutyourRabbitbutthere
is novibecuter(andmoreexcitingto leaveon
yourbathroomsheInthanthe I RubMy Duckie
in all its variousforms-from the originaltothe
RedDevilto thi super-cutenewPirate(one
morereasonto
of eiraKnightleywhile
you'rein thetu
likethe Duckie,the
RubMyWormie
like innocenttoy,
but it buzzesan
nubby
feet onthe
underside.
($21a up ed
tasy .com)
THE NICE
A , e nt
A
ar
Celebrating
your25th,butshe'snotthetypeto
wearjewelry?Trythe upscale,urbansterlingsilver
belts(likeFishtail,Guava,Ice)fromJill Platneras a
gift she'llreallylove.($990andup,jillplatner.com)
8. ay It rorward
Spreadthe lovewith a gift from HeartIs Hot.
Theseglassheartsaremadefrom recycledglass
in accordance
with eco-friendlyprocesses,
and
$2 of the purchasepricegoesto charity.($25,
heartishot.com)
10 Sc e Tia ition
HelpyourrecentlydumpedfriendcelebrateV-Day
by movingon withthe Break-UpKit,whichcomes
with a RunLoserRuntee,handmade
voodoodoll,
icecreamscoop,a breakupjournalandinstructions
for howto safelyburnthe stuffyourex left behind.
($99,tarakits.com)
Warm ndCi ly
Janska'sfleeceArmWarmersareperfectfor chilly 11 E 1bleDelectable
Forthe ultimatesensoryValentine'sDay,cover
EastCoastwinters.Theyhugcomfortably,
elbow
to hand,andslidenicelyundera wintercoat,while yoursweetin EarthlyBody'sediblemassageoil or
dripsomecandy-flavored
wax,whichdoublesas
glovesglideoverthemwith ease.TheirPolartec
MocSocks
with contrastinglegwarmersaregreat massageoil,ontoherbody.Givehera tastybody
rubyou'llbothremember.
($15,earthlybody.com)
for indoors.($19,janska.com)
n - 's
Sure,youwantto hideyour"maritalaids"from
Mom'sunexpected
drop-inbutthe DevineToy
BoxandDevineSatchelareboth,well,divinefor
storingplentyof otherthingstoo,fromjewelryand
makeupto old lovelettersandvintagewatches.
Theboxeslookamazing(welovedthe pinkcorset
andthe redfauxcroc)andonlytwo keysin the
worldopenit (onefor youandonefor her).($40,
edenfantasys.
com)
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By Beren DeMotier,
Stephanie Schroeder,
Edie Stull and Diane
Anderson-Minshall
CANDY DISH OF THE DAMNED
One lesbian has a moment of truth. By Stacy Bias
?
■
WHATIS
YOUR
MOST
COMMON
SEXDREAM?
3%
Being
"taken"
%
Seducinga
friend
13%
A celebrity
liaison
Somewhere around the time I was watching a woman willingly
being dragged by her ankles and turned upside down, having
a speculum inserted and becoming a human candy dish as a
11%
crowd of onlookers tossed colorful candies towards her in a
Public
nookie debauched game of horseshoes, I realized that I was standing
at a crossroads.
According
to a curveA container of candy was slowly being passed down
mag.compoll
the row of giddy onlookers-their
hands reaching in and
launching the inevitable seeds of a really bad yeast infection.
I shifted in my seat. Between myself and the certainty of hell,
2%
Hookingup
with my ex
Gravity Plays
Favorites
there were exactly 12 hands and a Tupperware container. I
was going to have to make a decision.
I've had a couple of these moments in my life. I call them
"Snap" moments because they feel like the emotional equivalent
of a rubber band being stretched as far as it can go without
snapping. In this case, the two ends of the rubber band, curled
around an opposing metaphorical thumb and forefinger, are
"New Me" and "Old Me": New Me being this strangely
empowered, innately curious, highly sexed and (apparently)
morally bankrupt queer femme. Old Me being the churcher
w
0
going, God-fearing, doe-eyed innocent of my youth.
z
w
Cl
The first Snap moment came a few months prior to the
a:
w
a..
candy experience as I drove with my good friend toward the
>!.
Oregon coast. The week previous I had received a Tarot read0
~
ing from the "pussy psychics" at a local BDSM vendor fair.
~
:O
Gathered around a table, clad entirely in pink faux fur and 'b
i 0
marabou, we clasped hands and bowed heads. Admittedly, I ' ~
was skeptical-but havingjust escaped a painfully vanilla, six- < g
w
~
year, monogamous relationship where a trip to Home Depot
w
:J
0
was the most exciting part of most weekends, I was more than
w
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a:
grateful for a little bit of weird. I overcame my hesitation and
:J
!Q.
committed to the surrealism of it all as the pussy psychics
a:
w
z
swayed, hummed tunelessly and nodded knowingly at one
z
0
0
another. My "pussy vibes" were accordingly absorbed by
a:
(/)
osmosis and the cards were cut. Frankly, I felt a little violated:J
u
a:
<{
but the resulting reading, unsurprisingly, zoomed in on my
(/)
~
Candy Dish of the Damned continued on page 62
MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS
Whileperformers
MichelleMynxandKatrina
Dohlmayhavetakentheirtroupename-GravityPlaysFavorites-froma Dresden
Dolls
song,theirsexybrandof performance
art is
fullyoriginalandmayhaveyoulookingat the
stripper'spolein a differentlight.In theSt.
Louis-based
performers'
trademarkburlesque
dance,bothwomenworkthepolesimultaneously,in perfectharmony.
"It involves
a lotof trustandlove,"says
Mynx.It's nowonderthatsheandDohlsteam
upthestage.Asformerlovers,thetwodisplay
a strikingchemistry
thatgoesbeyond
just
plainteamwork.
"Sheis oneof thebestfriends
thatI'veeverhadin life,"saysMynx."Our
relationship
transcends
anytitlethatyoucan
givea relationship."
40
Icurve
Thetwo dancers,who met while they
wereemployedat a strip club,cameup with
their partneringpolework as a practicality.
"Themainstagehadthree poleson it but the
satellitestagesonly hadone,"saysMynx."We
still wantedto dancetogetherbut both of us
wantedto be on the pole.Sowe founda way
to do that."
Makingtheir debutas a duo at 2005'sVenus
Envy,a women'sart festival,Mynxand Dohl
havesincetakentheir act to Swedenandhave
evenopenedfor the DresdenDolls.
WhileGravity'sact doesinvolvea pole,nudity
is not actuallya given."Wedon't mindeither
way," saysMynx."It just kind of dependson
the situationandthe type of eventthat it is."
However,sheadmits,"It's har
us to tone
BUMP-N-GRIND MEDIA
BOOKS
In BurlesqueWest:Showgirls,
Sex,and Sin in PostwarVancouver
(utpress.utoronto.ca),
Becki L. Ross
depicts the twisting history of the
travelingbur1esque
scenein a stylethat
is as rich andintriguingas the dancers
sheportrays.Urgingthe readerto shedany
preconceivednotions,Rossunveils,layerby
layer,the complexdynamicsof professional
dancing,givingvoiceto previouslyunheralded
club owners,patronsand performersthrough
50first-personaccounts.Eachchaptershows
the industry,and the womenwho formed
its backbone,madefeministcontributions
to modernconceptsof femalesexuality.
Resonatingwith the strugglesand victoriesof
queerwomentoday,the book bringsto light
howfemaleperformersin the 1940sradically
rejectedthe stereotypicalrole of woman-asmother-and-wifeto becomesexualand gender
outlawsin their own right.
Thoughshining an academiclight on what
happensbehindthe curtains of adult entertainmentisn't a novel idea,the anglesfrom which
Rossapproachesthe subject matter are
unique.Chapterfive, for example,examines
agingin the industry and why "everyone
wantedto date a dancer,[but] nobodywanted
to marry one."Throughoutthe entire book,
Rossmakessure to cut acrosslines of race,
class,genderand sexuality,evenstopping
to look at the placeof queeridentitiesin the
it downthan it is for us to bring it up."
As a lover of manygenresof dance,Mynx
explainsthat no two Gravityshowsare the
same."We'vedonetraditional burlesqueand
crazymoderncarnivalshows,"saysMynx."We
learnedthat we love so manydifferent types of
music,and that gaveus a chanceto performto
everything,from crazy hard punk rock to traditional old jazzy burlesquemusic,to etherealsoundingperformanceart music."
Whennot practicing her strengthmoves
or donatingher time to the Illinois Sexual
AssaultVictimsUnit,Mynxteachesacrobatic
polework while Dohlstudiesdance.Theact,
though,remainstheir main passion."We do
our best to makea living out of it," says Mynx.
"We'renot exactly rolling in [money]but we're
makingends meetby doingwhat makesus
happy."[BrianaHernandez]
often heterocentric,yet homoerotic,business
of selling fantasies.Thebook endswith the
demiseof Vancouver'sthriving burlesque
scene,telling of the dancers'losing battle with
the "unstoppableMcDonalidizationof their
trade," which flattenedthe individualityof the
performersand transformedtheir profession
into what onewomancalls the "mega-quick
buck,shaky-shaky,wet T-shirt shit."
Rosspromisesto "intellectuallytantalize,"
and she doesso in a work that removesmore
than fishnet stockingsto revealpride and
heartbreak,victories and wit.
In Burlesqueand the New
Bump 'n' Grind(speckpress.
com),MichelleBaldwin(aka
VivienneVaVoom,founder
of one of the earliest neoburlesquetroupes)givesus
a great intro to burlesquepast and present.In
this highly visual coffeetablebook,Baldwin
coversthe neo-burlesquesceneacrossthe
UnitedStatesas well as someof the great
queerperformersin it. And she compares
today's burlesquescenewith its roots (in the
1800s,for example,sometroupeswouldn't
allow womenunder150pounds-the standard
of beautyat the time-while today's troupes
go againstthe beautystandardemployedby
mainstreamculture).Thebook's only flaw is
inherentin the artform it chronicles:Things
changequickly, so someperformersin the
book are retired or no longerliving, but it
is a must-readfor anyoneinterestedin the
subversiveart of stageseduction.
FILM
DeirdreTimmons'first documentary,
A Winkand
a Smile(firstrunfeatures.com),
peeksbehindthe
glitz of burlesqueto follow 10 "ordinary"women
as theylearnthe businessfrom MissIndigoBlue,
a queer,award-winningburlesqueperformer
andinstructorbasedin Seattle,Wash.In this
beautifullyshotfilm, vignettesstarringSeattle's
professionaldancerspunctuatea story linethat
followsthe students'rockyjourneythroughthe
class.Honestinterviewswith the womenabout
femalesexuality,bodyissuesandwhat learning
burlesquemeansto themwill teaseyourbrain
andpull on yourheartstrings.Thoughthe ending
cuts shortthe students'graduationperformances,you'reboundto leavethe theaterempowered
andwishingthat you,too,livedin Seattle.[Yana
Tallon-Hicks
andDianeAnderson-Minshall)
HYPER ACTIVITY
Next time you're in New York City,
go see HyperGender Burlesque at
the Wow Cafe Theater. A creation
of JZ Bich and N (probably not
their real names), HyperGender
Burlesque (hypergender.com)
is the country's first post-neoburlesque show, which combines
political and performance art with
video, drag, lip synching, poetry,
sideshows and, basically, all that is
radically queer in the city's underground art scene. It's NC-17 but
beautifully provocative and full of
wonderful full-frontal nudity, which
is far from the most shocking
element you'll see on the HyperGender stage that night. [DAM]
January/February
2010
I41
TROUBLE WITH A CAPITALT
Filmmaker Courtney Trouble and the New Queer Porn scene.
By Lori Selke
At first glance, Courtney Trouble is just another typically
arty San Francisco resident, with her fun and funky sense of
style, a small dog named Cookie Party, a home office in her
Victorian flat and lots of reclaimed furniture in the backyard.
But she's also the brightest star in the new and burgeoning
genre of queer porn. She is a headlining director with Good
Releasing-the filmmaking offspring of the famous sex-positive
shop Good Vibrations-and
producing videos is now her
full-time job. She has seven finished features in the can and
more in the works, and she hasn't even been there a year. Her
career, it's safe to say, is about to take off. With fireworks.
Queer porn is a small but growing genre that incorporates a
potpourri of alternative sexualities-lesbians, gay men, trans
men and trans women, genderqueers, kinky folks, femmes,
butches and more-and
performers of all races, ethnicities
and body types. Queer porn star Jiz Lee, who appears in the
first three of Trouble's videos, says that queer porn is crossing gender and orientation boundaries, showcasing a larger
spectrum of sexuality.
For Lee, that's the essence of queerness. "The definition of
queer is supposed to have some kind of combative [stance]"
against rigid categorization and received ideas. In fact, queer
porn deliberately plays with and against stereotypes. "I think
it's reflective of a lot of queer art forms ... take a definitive
icon and queer it;' Lee says. Thus, Trouble's movies feature
"queered" takes on stereotypical porn tropes. In one upcoming
project, for example, Lee plays a pizza delivery boy"who's not
invited in!" she laughs. Another, more complex example is the
"deep throat" scene in Trouble's second video, Nostalgia.
Nostalgia is a collection of scenes taken from classic film
pornography and reimagined from a queer perspective. In the
second scene, Madison Young re-enacts an iconic moment
from Deep Throat, only this time she "is sucking on silicone
cocks. She's not getting anybody else off;' says Trouble. "She's
strictly doing it for her own pleasure. Being able to take controversial scenes like that one and making them very visibly
feminist and very visibly about female pleasure and our true
desires is something that I think about all the time:'
Lee, however, believes that the finale (a.k.a. the "suicide"
scene from Devil in Miss Jones-now remade with voluptuous
cover girl April Flores as the star) is the truest encapsulation
of Trouble's aesthetic.
"If there was a clip that was going to sum up what her work
is like ... that clip would probably be it;' Lee insists. Not just
the set-up, where Flores articulates a desire to experience, for
the first time, "lust, queer lust;' but also "the music aspect, the
cinematic levels that she plays with, and the vibe to it. The
blood that drips at the end has glitter in it, you know?"
Another key to Trouble's process is her collaborative approach.
"I think queer porn is a world where the directors take a
backseat when it comes to the sex acts;' the director says. Lee
says that's one of the reasons she likes working with Trouble:
"I like the collaborative aspect. I think it's an integral part of
the way she works and thinks:'
Trouble aspires to depict "people who are having sex the
way they want to have it, and they're really enjoying themselves:' For her, the definitive example of this is the gangbang
scene in her first feature, Roulette. The star of the scene, Rozen
DeBowe, chose the theme and the setting, and Trouble made
sure to depict her as the one orchestrating the whole scene,
from the bottom up.
While relatively new to feature films, Trouble has a long
history in the queer arts. She began her porn production career
in 2002 with a small website called NoFauxxx.com. She was
19 years old, a budding photographer, crazy about Riot Grrrl
life and filled with ideas about how to authentically represent
nonmainstream sexualities and desires. She wrote a mission
statement that called out cultural appropriation and emphasized art, inclusive casting, a female and trans-friendly perspective, negotiation, consent and respect.
"I started the project to see what would happen;' she says.
Little did she know that she was taking the first steps toward
the queer porn revolution.
NoFauxxx.com was a modest success for Trouble, riding the coattails of the alt-porn revolution. Alt-porn is a
genre typified and represented by the well-known Suicide
Girls-think
pierced and tattooed punk, goth and skater
girls. The unexpected success of the Suicide Girls franchise
attracted a younger audience and a slew of younger, artier
photographers and directors to produce the content their
audience demanded.
But from the beginning,
oFauxxx.com was different.
Trouble describes the state of alt-porn in 2002 as "a lot of
skinny, white, straight-identified or straight-presenting women:' That was frustrating to her, and she wanted to explore a
different sort of alternative, one that queer women had been
clamoring for.
"Fans of alt-porn like NoFauxxx because I have a lot of altporn models from other alt-porn sites;' she says. "But on my
site, they're doing something completely different. I try to get
people as close to their authentic environment and their authentic desires as possible. I shot [fetish star] Lorelei Lee in
her bedroom, surrounded by her books:•
In 2006, Trouble started filming clips for what would become Roulette. It took three years to make. Working around
day jobs, a lack of funding and other hazards ("I actually didn't
own my own video camera;' she notes), Trouble taught herself
the craft of video-making scene-by-scene. "I learned how to
make movies through making that first one;' she confesses.
"My goal with it at the time was to make a DVD that was
one of those porn DVDs that you leave out on the coffee
table or you put on your bookshelf, because it's a conversation piece;' says Trouble. "I wanted something that was accessible enough for people to talk about, and something different enough that people would talk about it:' Originally,
she intended to produce and market Roulette independently,
through her website. As it happened, however, Good
Vibrations was just starting up its sister film company, intending to produce three new lines of sexually explicit movies. The
head of Good Releasing saw a rough cut of Roulette and not
only offered to distribute it for Trouble, but also wanted to
sign her on as a director for their proposed new line of queerthemed films, Real Queer Productions.
"Its happened really, really fast;' Trouble says. Where her
first movie took three years to make, her second took only
ODE TO MACHO SLUTS
I remember walking away from A Different
Light Bookstore in the late '80s, with a shrinkwrapped copy of Pat Califia's pioneering book
Macho Sluts tucked under my arm, the button
that had been packaged with it already proudly
pinned to my lapel. I would sport that button for
years to come, a proud identifier to the world
at large that I was a "Macho Slut." This was a
time when the word "queer" was still derogatory, lesbians were still using "womyn" instead of "women" and
Macho Sluts-with its stories of dyke bathhouses, sex parties
and girl-girl SIM-shocked everyone. It also set the stage for the
formation of a real women's leather community.
Califia-who transitioned from female to male a decade ago
and now goes by Patrick-was the first to write expertly and
unabashedly about the kink potential of lesbian sex and he set
off a firestorm that went far beyond the lesbian community.
Macho Sluts became the focal point of the most famous censorship battles between Little Sister's bookstore in Vancouver and
Canadian Customs.
Which is why this new edition, part of Arsenal Pulp's Little Sister's
LGBT Classics series, is still such an important read. It has a
magnificent new forward by Califia {which should prove to doubters
why a book written by a lesbian who now identifies as a man is still
worth your time} as well as essays by a co-owner of Little Sister's
and the chief counsel in the trial against Canadian Customs.
Reading it again this week, I was reminded of how 20 years
ago, the book was more than porn-it radicalized and appropriated
pleasure and became a canon in the lesbian sex wars, a tome
that pushed everyone to think beyond what second wave lesbian
feminists taught us about sex. Famed novelist Dorothy Allison
called Califia's work, "lucid, intelligent, brave, and true." A more
accurate assessment is hard to find. [DianeAnderson-Minshall]
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January/February
2010
I43
,
••..
TAlllSII
111111
..
From sonic-busting heavy metal riffs to tasty jazz progressions, these
women can really play. Yep, some are gay, too. By Jamie Anderson
Quick, name a really great guitarist. Who came to mind? Jimi Hendrix? Eddie Van Halen? Carlos Santana? Sure,
these guys are famous for their fingerwork, but there are plenty of underappreciated female guitarists who can play
a page black with notes before they have their morning coffee. Here, in no particular order, are 20 female pickers
who really know their way around a six-string.
partner Anne Hackler run the Institute for
the Musical Arts, a nonprofit dedicated to
supporting female musicians.
~
blues women of the past as well
as showcasing her own work.
: 4. LitaFordbegan her career alongside Joan
: Jett in the groundbreaking '70s band the
I Runaways. Look beyond the cleavageI popping outfits and you'll see one of the best
heavy metal guitarists there is, hands down.
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1."If I want to wang dang rock 'n'
roll at 69 years old dressed up in an
antebellum dress it ain't nobody's
business but mine;' said rockabilly
innovator CordellJackson,who
could do anything she damn well
wanted-and that included playing
circles around better-known players like
Brian Setzer of Stray Cats.
5. If you ever went to a Michael
Jackson concert, you couldn't
have missed JenniferBatten-the
guitar-wielding blonde with a
mohawk. Not only can she scream
through the Van Halen solo in
"Beat Ir;' but she can play "Flight
of the Bumblebee" -on the
freakin' guitar.
6. You may not know
AllisonRobertson
by name,
but surely you've heard of
2. It'd be easy to dismiss the late SisterRosetta the Donnas. Guitar Player
called her "a viciously
Tharpebecause she was a gospel performer,
but this Arkansas-native guitarist could wail
balls-out guitar player
with the best of them. Tharpe's screaming
who has burned just
electric guitar stylings influenced everyone
about every metal riff ever
from Johnny Cash to Aretha Franklin.
recorded into her DNA:'
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8. Jimi Hendrix was one of the greatest
blues-rock guitarists ever, and KellyRichey
can play his song"Hey Joe" note for note,
some of it behind her back. She's no slouch
on her own tunes either and damn, she'll
make you sweat.
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9. LauraChavezis just 27 and already has the
jaw-dropping skill of a much older player.
She's based in the
San Francisco
Bay Area, where
she teaches and
performs. ....__;(
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3. Move forward to the 60s
and you'll find JuneMillington,
the cofounder of Fanny, one
of the first all female bands
signed to a major label. Today
Millington and her long-time
44
Icurve
-
7. DelReypicked up a guitar at
the tender age of 4 and never put
it down. She's universally known
as one of the best acoustic players,
male or female. Rey's live shows are
filled with covers of songs by great
10. No list of great
blues players is complete without Bonnie
Raitt.If you listen to
her rip through the
licks on "Love Me
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play like chat, I'd sit at home and entertain
myself all day:'
Like A Man" you'd be hard pressed to say she
doesn't know what she's doing.
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11. Elizabeth
Cottenwas a self-taught guitarist
who played left-handed and upside down.
As a kid, she penned the folk classic"Freight
Train" and was rediscovered years later,
working as a housekeeper for Pete Seeger's
family. She went on to perform many gigs,
including a show at the National Women's
Music Festival in the '80s.
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12. It's a tenet of lesbian
law that EmilySaliersbe
on this list, but really,
she'd have made it on
skill alone. Her creative
stylings and chord
choices define the
Indigo Girls' sound.
13. VickiGenfanwas the only woman in the
Guitar Superstar 2008 contest, sponsored
by Guitar Player magazine. Her slap-harmonies and tapping style couldn't be topped
by the other nine finalists. When she won,
one of the judges commented, "If I could
14. Singer-songwriter Patty~
Larkinis a staple of any
~
women's music fest, and
with good reason. Her
layered guitar style and
honest lyrics hold her audience spell-bound. In 2005
she released La Guitara,
a compilation of songs by
women guitarists. And like
many on chis list, she's a
sister. Be still, our hearts.
15. NinaGerberis a versatile acoustic and
electric guitarist who got her start playing
with folk singer Kate Wolf. She's known
mostly as a side player for greats like Nanci
Griffith and Ferron, but she's also put out
her own recordings, featuring vocalists like
Vicki Randle.
18. Jazz is one of the most challenging
genres of music to play, and EmilyRemlerwas
comfortable with all its formsfusion, bebop, traditional, you
name it. She started recording in
1981 and went on to work with
veterans like Rosemary Clooney
and Larry Coryell. The world lost a
great guitarist when Remler passed
away in 1990; she was only 32.
19. MaryFordmay have been
over-shadowed by her now
deceased husband Les Paul,
legendary guitarist and inventor
of the modern electric guitar. But
Ford, a skilled guitarist and singer, could
match him note for note.
20. MimiFoxis another amazing jazz
player. She's performed with jazz greats like
Charlie Byrd and Branford Marsalis and
never fails to blow audiences away. \
16. Finger-style acoustic
player KakiKingis a mad
scientist with restless
fingers and a head for
memorable melodies. Her
fourth album, Dreaming
of Revenge, was released
in March 2008.
17. Even if you don't know Bach from
Beethoven, you know chat as a department
chair at Juilliard, Sharonlsbinhas got to be
great. She's a gay Grammy Award-winner
who performed at the White House for
the Obamas last November. ~
0
~
!!l
There are so many more who deserve to
be on the list, like Muriel Anderson, Joan
Armatrading, Kara Barnard, Maybelle
Carter, Sue Foley, Ellen Mcllwaine, Joni
Mitchell, Nancy Wilson and Janis Ian to
name a few. Who else did we miss:' Send a
note to letters@curvemag.com ■
I
January/February 201 O 45
he couple is in San Francisco for the Frameline film
, festival premiere of their romantic comedy And Then
Came Lola, in which the real-life couple heat up the
screen as former flames. If their on-screen chemistry
seems genuine, in person it's palpable. Through all
the madness that surrounds them (especially
at the many festivals last year, where the film
was a huge hit), the two sneak intimate moments, frequently
stepping away to steal a kiss or a hug. However, relations
between the two weren't always so friendly. The duo joke
about their first meeting, and how it wasn't exactly love at first
sight. Having crossed paths briefly on the set of the lesbian
film Out at the Wedding, Bennett admits, "I didn't know Cathy
all that well. We spent a little bit of time, actually, in the trailer
when we were shooting our scene for Out at the Wedding. She
was really distracted and not all that interested in talking to
me, so I didn't really have a good opinion of Cathy. And then
we kind of both rolled our eyes, respectively, when we found
out we were playing ex-girlfriends in this film. So, once we
got on-set and we actually got to know each other, and let our
guard down and talked to each other as human beings, I was
like, Oh, she's not so bad. She's actually kind of cool:'
DeBuono had preconceived notions of her own. "Honestly,
I had never gotten to know Jill after we did Out at the Wedding.
We'd run into each other maybe once or twice, but my feeling
about it was that she was kind of icy and off-putting:'
DeBuono had concerns about how the lack of personal
chemistry would affect their performance as former lovers in
Lola. "I wasn't really thrilled about the fact that I was going
to be doing these really, sort 0£ warm and fuzzy scenes with
her, because I wasn't sure that we were going to be able
to connect."
So DeBuono reached out to Bennett and invited her to
meet for coffee, which proved to be a turning point in their
relationship. Soon the two began to feel more than a professional chemistry.
"When we met and got to know each other, we definitely
recognized that there was ... something else brewing under
the surface;' Bennett explains. ''.And we went through our
own process, each of us individually, of trying to figure out
what this was:'
"I was far too irresistible!" DeBuono quips.
''.And modest. That's part of her charm;' laughs Bennett.
"The thing that you're warned of as an actor is that the
chemistry you find on a set is not real. What we do is sort
of strange, and Cathy and I had to get into bed together and
film very intimate love scenes, most of which, unfortunately,
did not make it into the movie. But you're creating this sort
of false intimacy and you know it's no secret that actors fall
in love on movie sets all the time, and the truth is that most
of the time it's not real:'
........ove On the Run
EllenSeidler,the directorand
co-producerof the wonderfully
fun lesbianrompAnd ThenCame
Lola,saysshemerelywantedto
"makesomethingfor lesbians,by
lesbiansandaboutlesbians."
Thefilm is the secondcollaborationbetweenSeidlerandMegan
Siler,whoalsoco-produced
the
feature.It wasan ideaSilersays
shehad"bouncingaroundfor a
longtime.I wantedto makea sexy
lesbianfilm, becausethere'sa real
shortageof greatsexyfilms in the
lesbianmarket.Wewantedto do
somethingfun,wherethe girl gets
the girl."
And ThenCameLolatook over
two yearsto complete,in part
becauseof the duo'shecticschedules.Siler,whoteachesscreenwritingandfilm productionfor UC
BerkeleyExtension,
won numerous
awardsfor herfeature-lengthfilm
TheMidwife'sTaleandherdocumentarySingleMothers:Living
Onthe Edge.Hermostrecentfilm,
ToxicBust:Chemicals
andBreast
Cancer,wonthe prestigiousCine
GoldenEagleAward,andis being
usedby environmental
healthand
breastcanceradvocatesaround
the country.
Seidleris a 25-yearveteranof
film andbroadcast
journalism.She
hasworkedfor ABCNewsin New
YorkandKRON-TV
in SanFrancisco
andis nowa lecturerin digital
mediaat UCBerkeley'sGraduate
Schoolof Journalismanda tenured
professorof mediaandcommunicationartsat ContraCostaCollege
in SanPablo,Calif.Shehasworked
on a varietyof indiefilms,including
the LindaHunt-narrated
documentary Fightingfor OurLives:Facing
AIDSin SanFrancisco.
LolagaveSeidlerandSiler
a chanceto dosomecreative
fundraising.
"Moneywasdefinitely
the biggestobstacle,"saysSeidler.
"Wehada few peoplecomein
andmakesomedonations,
we
got a coupleof loans,andwe
borrowedagainstour houseand
our retirementfunds... but no risk,
no reward.It tooka lot of talented
peoplecomingtogetherto make
the projectwhatit was."
In the film, Lolais an adorably
recklessandnotoriouslytardy
lesbianwho hasthreechances
to get thingsrightandsaveher
relationshipwith her partner.
Afterauditioning
about100actors
andstill notfindinganyonetheyfelt
carriedoffthesensibilities
of the
film,Seidlersuggested
theystart
lookingfor openlyqueeractors.
"Weneededto findgood
actresses
whowouldreallyget
behindthefilm andsupportit," Siler
says."I thinkyougeta lot moreof
thatfroma lesbianactress.I don't
thinkthat'sa requirement,
that
theactressbegay... butif you're
straightandyouhaveto enterthe
gaysubculture,
youdon'tnecessar-
ily havea reference
point.Whoever
we castto playthe leadsneededto
becomfortable
withthesexuality,
andfeelreallycomfortable
climbing
inthe sackwithanotherwoman."
"I didn'tthink I wasrightfor
Lola,"AshleighSumner,
the adorablerustyblondewholanded
the leadrole,admits."I thoughtI
wastoo young.AndI thoughtthey
wantedmoreof a Shane-from-The
L Wordtypecharacter."
Thoughshe'sthrilledto be
playinggay,Sumnersays,"I am
anactresswhohappensto begay
andnotthe otherwayaround.This
is thefirst gayroleI havedone.
I wantto be sucha goodactor
that my sexualityis secondto my
performance.
Whenpeoplelookat
someonelike CherryJoneswho
haswontwo TonyAwards,they
don'tthink CherryJones-the
lesbian.Theythink Cherry
Jones-the actress.She'sfucking
brilliant."[JenniferCorday]
Cautious, the two waited to explore the budding relationship until they were sure they were no longer under the spell
of the movie set. "When we came back to our real life, we
started to realize that this was real;' says Bennett. "This wasn't
just some on-set chemistry that turned into a real relationship.
There was something there, but it definitely took some time,
for me at least, in my head, to get good with it. Because again,
there are a lot of traps with getting involved with an actor. But
I can say that once we decided that we could no longer stay
away from each other, there was no stopping the train:'
DeBuono kisses her partner, grinning from ear to ear. "The
more time went on;' she says, "the more we realized that it was
absolutely based on something real:'
Something else very real to the couple is their commitment
to gay rights activism. And they take a very hands-on approach
to helping their community and raising awareness about the
injustice of inequality. Following the passage of Prop. 8, the
couple began attending same-sex marriage rallies, taking a
video camera with them.
"Putting [footage] up on the Internet was for me a part of
documenting gay history. We are obviously at a huge crossroads in our community. We have to show them what's going
on here, because this will go down in the history books as
being the second Stonewall. It's a very deeply personal issue
for me. In my lifetime I want to see us getting equal rights;'
says Bennett.
"Prop. 8 just really lit a fire under a lot of our butts;'
DeBuono adds. "Not just Jill and I, but most of the gay community finally woke up and went, Really? Wait a second, I
guess we need to fight for this. And we all sort of got together,
which was the blessing in disguise about Prop. 8:'
DeBuono is also calling for a new gay rights rallying cry to
replace the outdated demand for tolerance. "I think tolerance
was a really good idea at first, because something just needed
to stop the crisis of the violence and the immediate hatred;'
she says. "When you talk about tolerance, I think of a noisy
neighbor that you're tolerating. It's offensive to you, what you
are tolerating. And it's offensive to me, that holding the hand
of the person I love, you have to tolerate that:' Adding,"! think
it's time for us to move beyond tolerance to being acceptable:'
It was this kind of passion that found the two, camera in
hand, storming a Mormon temple after Prop. 8 passed.
"It came at a time of intense anger, frustration, and we
needed to get this out of our systems;' explains Bennett. "The
bottom line is that religion has no place in our government.
It has no place in our laws. So we went that day and we were
ready to jump over that fence to get arrested. We called Tracy
Gilchrist [editor in chief of She Wired.com] and we said, Tracy
weve got an idea but we need the bail money. If we jump the
fence and get it on tape, will you bail us out of jail? She was like,
Let me get back to you:'
For DeBuono, it was an expression of her new, proactive
strategy.
"I think the storming of the Mormon temple falls under the
category of tolerance no longer being enough ... because we've
been too quiet, weve been too polite, we've been willing to not
rock the boat as long as people just don't kill us for who we
love. That's what storming the Mormon temple was about for
me. It was, really, I'm not being polite anymore. I'm not going
to live and let live, as people like to say:'
Bennett acknowledges that the decision to jump the fence
was a controversial one. "There's been a lot of talk in the
gay community on whether or not it was right to target the
Mormon Church:' But she stands behind her decision. "I
personally believe it is right to target the Mormon Church,
not them specifically-obviously, we can't condemn an entire
religion, but the fact remains that a large portion of the funding
for Prop. 8 came out of the Mormon Church. I heard about
families who don't even live in California who were taking out
mortgages on their houses to give 20 and 30 thousand dollars. I
had a couple of Mormon boys come to my door, and I told my
roommate, 'You'd better answer it, because if I do, this is not
going to be pretty: I am still angry. They deserve to see it. They
deserve to know that if they do this again, our community
will be on their ass and there's a very fine line that I think we
have to walk with letting them know that we know what happened, but not going overboard with the targeting. I don't
want us to do what they're doing-I don't want us to become
that. But us pointing out that you people raised money to send
"I think
tolerance
was a really
good idea at
first, because
something
just needed
to stop the
crisis of the
violence ...
I think it's
time for us to
move beyond
tolerance
to being
acceptable."
-Cathy
DeBuono
"This wasn't
just some
on-set
chemistry
that turned
into a real
relationship
... But I can
say that
once we
decided that
we could no
longer stay
away from
each other,
there was no
stopping the
train."
-Jill Bennett
so I curve
to a state that you don't even live in, to affect our lives, is not
OK with us. It's not acceptable:'
Lest you chink life is all rallies and guerilla activism for
Bennett and DeBuono, the fact is that being out and visible in
Hollywood is their greatest form of protest.
"There was a girl that'd written to me from, like, South
Dakota a couple of years ago;' Bennett recalls. "She went on
and on about how impressive it is chat were our in chis industry, and it made me think, It's bigger that you're out. You're out
in a place where it's not easy to be out. I'm in West Hollywood,
and, yes, I'm an actor, and that's like a whole ocher part of my
life, but people who are out in a community where it's not OK
to be means so much more than somebody, say, who's sort
of closeted (and] gives $100,000 to the HRC. To me, those
people who actually live their lives out and proud are much
braver ... than certain other people:'
Bennett-who
made her TV debut on the original Beverly
Hills 90210, is a main cast member on Dante's Cove and has
starred in several indie films (such as In Her Line of Fire,with
Mariel Hemingway)-says,
"My patience and tolerance for
closeted celebrities is waning by the day. It really is. I'm having
a really difficult time with people that I know are gay and
who just won't say it. So that's how I feel. I feel our heroes are
people in cities and countries around the world where it's not
easy to be gay and they're out anyway. They're my heroesthose are the people I really admire:'
DeBuono agrees. The once-closeted college athlete was
heading for Olympic glory when she tore an ACL. She moved
into acting at the urging of classmate Ashley Judd. Though
she has guest starred on numerous television shows, including
The Pretenderand ChicagoHope, her big break came with the
TV series Star Trek: Deep SpaceNine. Originally cast as Terry
Farrell's body double, she lacer played several roles, including
Darbo girl M'Pella, as well as the Breen, a Vulcan baseball
player and a Klingon warrior.
"There was never a question as to whether or not to be out;'
she says. 'Tm just by nature a loudmouth instigator, so, no
honestly, there was no decision making. I just said I'm simply
going to be out. I pretty much informed my manager that I
had no intention of being closeted. And he said, 'Well, can you
at least just say that you're bisexual?' and I said, J\bsolutely
not. I'm not bisexual and obviously all his concern [was]
about how this is going to affect my career, and chat it probably would. And I said, 'Well, then it will: I can't spend my life
being closeted for ocher people's comfort. Ir's not comfortable
for me;' says Bennett.
"For me, it was kind of the same thing;' says DeBuono.
"There was never a day in my life where I thought I would
stay in the closet. I could not possibly live that way. I could
not possibly hide. When you choose to do that, you choose
to keep away the authentic relationships that you could be
having in your life, and you're essentially lying to everybody
in your life, and you're not making any room for those people
who might walk away from you because you're gay. If you
need to walk away from me because I'm gay, I welcome that. I
want you to. And that makes room in my life for people that
I can have full, whole relationships [with J:'
The couple also took part in Adam Bouska's NO HS photo
campaign. "We were lucky enough to be on the tail end of
Kathy Griffin's shoot, so we got there and her mom-it was
her and her mom and all of her assistants or whatever-and
we went in and then all the girls from Sweet [the lesbian travel
company] got there, and Kathy was coming out and she goes,
'Hello, lesbians!' and we were all, 'We love you, Kathy
Griffin!'" laughs Bennett.
Their shared passion for acting and personal relationship
has led the actors to work together on multiple projects,
DeBuono explains. "We actually discovered, not only did we
sort of enjoy each other's company socially, in terms of having
conversations and being able to connect with people, but we
really enjoyed working together:'
The couple are currently lensing season two of their smash
viral hit, We Have to Stop Now, a web series, that, along with
Bennett and DeBuono as a therapist couple who are in therapy,
stars the our comic Suzanne Westenhoefer as their therapist.
Ironically, the web series is a perfect fir for DeBuono, who, in
addition to her acting credits, is a licensed psychotherapist.
The two developed the series along with director Robyn
Dettman and writer Ann Noble. "We wanted to do that with
We Have to Stop Now, and to have it be about these two people
and their relationship and their everyday lives;' explains
DeBuono. "What we really wanted to do ... was create a gay
show that's not necessarily a gay show. Ir's a human show. And
if you watch these characters, there's no dildo jokes. There's no
coming out stories .... What we really wanted to do was have
a show that wasn't just about sex because gay series tend to be
sex-related .... We wanted to make a point that there's more
profundity in our lives and there's more life in our lives:'
The series clearly hit the right note with viewers around
the globe-the press release, according to DeBuono, has been
translated into more then 20 languages, thanks to word-of
mouth and viral marketing.
A web veteran, Bennett-who
also starred in the muchbeloved but sadly defunct web series 3 Way-decided
to
take the marketing of We Have to Stop Now in a different
direction. Rather than take the series to a network or advertisers first, they made it available online for free and built a
loyal audience, a gambit that has paid off. "We did kind of
the exact opposite of 3 Way, which is, we did not look to the
networks .... We said, 'No, we're not going to do that. We're
going to do it ourselves: The viewers, they responded so positively and they actually so generously helped us to pay for
season one. They let us know that, yes, we want this content
and yes, we're willing to pay for it:'
Wolfe Video was impressed too: It bought season one and
the as-yer-unaired season two of Stop Now to release on DVD.
(Season one will come out this summer on DVD, to coincide
with the premiere of season two online.)
For fans of the first season, Bennett offers a few exciting tidbits about the sophomore season, which includes
an impressive lineup of guest stars, including, Erin Foley,
Luck Be a Lady continued on page 63
HEN I MEET the Indigo Girls backstage at New
York's Highline Ballroom, Emily Saliers seems
vaguely professorial, working on a laptop and wearing
glasses and a comfortable-looking sweater. But Amy
Ray, all in black, wrapping up a call on her cell phone, projects
an aura of rock 'n' roll cool.
After more than 20 years of touring, the Indigo Girls are
clearly at home on the road. Their extensive career, which
began with a self-tided album on Epic Records, featured
favorites like "Closer to Fine" and "Kid Fears" that made the
Indigo Girls the darlings of a burgeoning alt-folk scene. They
issued another seven studio albums for Epic, and two live
albums, before leaving the label in 2005. Saliers and Ray then
signed a five-album deal with Hollywood Records and issued
their first CD for that label, Despite Our Differences,in the fall
of 2006. But the following year, during the tour to support
the album, Hollywood suddenly dropped them.
52
Icurve
The Indigo Girls opted to release their latest album,
Poseidonand the Bitter Bug, on their own label, IG Recordings.
It's their first independent release in over two decades. But it's
also significant in that it includes two CDs: One is the fullband version, while the other is an acoustic rendering of the
same material, with the songs in a different order. Poseidon
was produced by Mitchell Froom, who has worked with
everyone from Paul McCartney to Suzanne Vega, and who
has produced songs for Indigo Girls albums in the past.
Despite their success with big labels, Saliers and Ray
are unequivocally positive about singing on an indie label
again. "We both feel very, very happy about it;' says Saliers.
"Liberated:' Ray adds, 'i\.ny drawback you would have on
an indie, it would be a bigger drawback on a major. At this
point, the drawbacks are all within our limitations as a group,
you know:' Were getting older. We're gay. We're women. We
don't really have a feminine image;' she laughs. "J definitely
don't-I'll speak for myself-and it's harder to put that out
into the world in a mainstream way. So, weve always been
underground in some sense-even though we've had a lot of
what I consider to be mainstream success:'
Clearly, there was no love lost between the Indigo Girls
and Hollywood Records. "[We] went to Hollywood thinking
that we might be able to get a good run with them for a few
records;' says Ray. "They were real excited about it, and then
they kind of dropped the ball. And then they dropped us.
We were pretty happy about it because at that point [we felt]
like we were working really hard but not getting much work
from them:'
Although Poseidon and the Bitter Bug is loaded with good
songs, "Ghost of the Gang;' which opens the album's acoustic
disc, shines brighter than the rest. It's simple but evocative.
Listening to "Ghost of the Gang" feels like standing in a
deserted suburban parking lot, at night. Ray says the song
is "pretty literal. I had a short span of time where some old
friends had things happen in their lives. They were part of
a high school group of friends of mine [who] didn't totally
keep in touch after high school. And it was one of those
[situations where] you mean to call somebody and say Tm
sorry; and you keep putting it off, and then it feels like you
can never quite do it. So I wrote the song instead:'
Writing songs is what the Girls do best and they applaud
each other's individual skills. "The great thing about being an
Indigo Girl is that you get two musical lives;' Saliers says.
"There are a lot of things that [Amy brings that are] different
from me, and one is a rock ethic and a really in-your-face
presence. And then, her songwriting-because
Amy writes
about things that I wouldn't write about, necessarily. She
comes from more a rural background and lives in a rural area
and that informs a lot of her sensibility and her storytelling:'
For her part, Ray says, "From the very beginning, when
we started singing together, Emily really knew how to sing
harmony. I had sung in a lot of choirs and stuff, but I didn't
really understand how to sing harmony in popular music. So
Emily definitely brought a musicality and a knowledge that
continually challenged me-and I had to kind of step up to
the place:'
Obviously, Ray has stepped up to the plate and then some.
Hardcore fans know that in addition to being half of the
Indigo Girls, she has released three solo albums. The most
recent, Didn't It Feel Kinder, just came out last year.
Saliers has yet to take the solo plunge, but she isn't closing
the door on an independent project in the future. "They're
distant plans;' she says. "[Amy's] got a whole other set of
songs that very clearly needs to be done, separate from
Indigo Girls. So far, in my life, I haven't found this
group of songs or music within me that needs to
be expressed apart from Amy. A solo record is
sort of in the back of my mind, but it's not a
burning, driving desire:'
Discussing her other pursuits, she adds, "I
co-own a restaurant [and] I'm very passionate
about that. And then, I wrote a book with my dad and we
still do a lot of programs together. I'm very interested in that.
So my other creative forces are taking life in those projects:'
The book was published in 2005. Co-written with her father,
Don Saliers (who is not only a musician himself but also a
retired professor of theology), A Song to Sing, A Life to Live
is an exploration of the healing power of music.
As if all these projects aren't keeping them busy enough,
Saliers and Ray are also both activists for various social causes.
In 1991, they co-founded the nonprofit organization Honor
the Earth, which raises awareness and funds for American
Indian environmental groups. And, of course, they have been
passionate advocates for the rights of same-sex couples and
the LGBT community in general.
Saliers says that despite the strides the
"The
community has made, we still have a
drawbacks are
long way to go. "We're not as far
along as Canada, and we do have
all within our limitations
a long way to go;' she says. "The
as a group. We're getting
gay marriage issue has been a
older. We're gay. We're women.
big issue in the press. And we
all know, as part of the queer
We don't really have a feminine
community, that there are
image. And it's harder to put
many other issues, like [the]
that out into the world in a
high teen suicide rate and
homelessness and violence.
mainstream way. So, we've
But focusing on the gay marriage
always been underground
issue, one thing I find encouraging
in some sense."
now is that it's not just the courts,
but actually the legislatures that are
coming around. Granted, it's New England.
But it's also Iowa. And California was lost, but by a fairly
thin margin, and [it] could be won back again. We're
always going to win important battles through the courts,
thank God. But when the other branches come around, I see
that as real progress:'
It's not just their song lyrics that are heart-felt, even in
conversation Saliers and Ray exude warmth. When asked what
they would say to a 13-year-old girl who lives in the middle of
Nebraska and is questioning her sexuality, Ray says, "I know so
many kids like that, even where I live. I alwaysjust want to grab
them and hug them. I would just say, you have to somehow
remember what a good person you are. And then you have
to find art and music and literature and stories-whatever it
takes-to keep reminding yourself of that. That's what's great
about the Internet, is that you can find allies. And I think if
you're that young, if you're not accepted within your
family, you have to find your own family, unfortunately. That's what you have to do to keep
yourself strong. But don't give up on your
own family, I always say. Because mine
was terrible at first-not terrible-my
parents were super conservative and had
a very hard time. Now they're amazing.
So it's important not to give up on char:' ■
January/February
2010
I 53
REVIEWSMusic Watch
and Comin
Get some fresh tunes for the new year. By Margaret Coble
DriveAwayHome,Good
AsianDrivers{SelfProduced):
In 2008,Melissa
Li andKitYan-the Boston
duoknownasGoodAsian
Drivers-tookto theopen
roadin anattemptto satisfy
theirGeminicravingsfor
adventure.
Butthetrip turned
intosomething
so much
more.With40 showsin 30
statesover12 weeks,the
two crisscrossed
the country
liketransgressive
wanderers
seekingto findthemselves,
butfindingthemselves
welcomedbyandreflected
in the livesof artists,queers,
peopleof color,activists,poets
andmore.Theyevenparked
theirtinycarin mydriveway
for a coupleof nights(sadly,
I wasn'taround).
Theirnew
self-produced
CD,a showcase
of Li'slesbo-relational
folk
rockandVan'sincredible
slam
poetry-whichcouldbecalled
transbecause
heoftendeals
withgenderissues-nicely
documents
theirjourney.
Theduorecentlyaddeda
thirdmember,
AshelyBaier,
on percussion
anddrums,
to roundouttheircomplex
sound.Songsabouttheir
relationship
(aretheylovers?
chosenfamily?whoknows?)
areespeciallyengaging,
asarepieceswithpolitical
nods(tacklingracismamong
queers,labelsamongdykes,
genderamonghets).Among
the showstoppers:
"My Boy"
and"DriveAwayHome."Even
betterthanseeingtheircar
in yourdriveway?
Seeing
themliveonstage.
(goodasiandrivers.com)
[DAM]
54
I curve
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::>
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(/)
0
Wow, how did it get to be 2010 already? Well, there's
no better way to start off the new year than with some
fresh sounds by fresh faces, and Reina Williams,
Zorras and Susan Elizabeth have got the goods.
Full CircleEP,Reina ·mams{sef eleased• Hailing
from Baltimore, this dynamic out performer is hard
to pin down, running the gamut from hip-hop to
R&B to alt-rock, but she stands out on the mic no
matter the backdrop. After she stole the show on
both the night and day stages at Michigan Womyn's
Music Festival this past summer, I knew I needed
to hear more, and this eight-song EP offers a great
introduction to the breadth and depth of her talent.
From polished hip-hop cuts like "That Ain't Breakin
Me;' which features Williams skillfully rapping while
guest star Chyna Doll adds an infectiously melodic
vocal hook, to radio-friendly pop-hop hybrids like
"The Future;' with stark piano licks intermixed with
peppy acoustic guitar rhythms, this EP shows off not
only her vocal and instrumental skills, but her songwriting and production prowess as well. Williams
gets down and dirty on the spoken-sung "Stronger
Than That;' and then turns around and blows it out
on big clubby numbers with heavy synths and thick
beats like "Just Move:' The EP's strongest cut, "Let
It Flow;' is a mid-tempo radio-friendly pop-hopper
with great guitar riffs and memorable vocal hooks,
and my personal fave, "Vodka Song;' is a strippeddown alt-rock guitar anthem that has a certain Linda
Perry vibe to it. (myspace.com/reinawilliams)
We ApologiseFor Any Inconvenience,
Zorras{Minor
Assault) Scottish-Canadian
poet Sandra Alland
and musician Y.Josephine have a more experimental
take on spoken word performance than your average
word-spitter. Having emerged from the Edinburgh
queer cabaret scene a few years ago, Zorras deliver
their musical stories bilingually, mixing text, sound
poetry, percussion, guitar, megaphones, singing and
projected visual images. Though I'd wager their live
performance is more true to their artistic vision than
an audio recording, they are still interesting on CD,
mixing it up between more musical numbers like the
guitar-folk "Nest" and more radio-dramatized pieces
like "Here's To Wang:' I personally love the "In The
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Details" spoken interludes, humorous musings
on the idiosyncrasies of the Bulgarian language. (myspace.com/zorrasmyspace)
"Closer" and "The Excitement Before;' but
the bulk of the album pushes the boundaries of acoustic pop-folk, and I for one am
thankful. (susanelizabethsongs.com)
WineAnd Cigarettes,
SusanElizabeth(selfreleased):
I write about a lot of singer-songwriters in these pages. It takes a lot for me
to even notice a new, previously unheard of
girl with a guitar. But the thing that caught
my ear with Susan Elizabeth's CD was that
it wasn't just a collection of guitar-andvocal songs. The instrumentation is varied,
incorporating a lot of electronics and drum
machines as well as piano, and the overall
sound is more pop-leaning than folk. Take, for
example, the almost jazzy-bluesy foundation
of"Jones For This;' with its piano underbed
and pop-friendly beats. Or the vocoder and
skittering beats on the dance-friendly"Figure
It Out Yourself:' Or the handclapping beats
on "That Girl On MTV;' a Top 40 pop tune
if ever I've heard one. Of course, there's still
some straight-ahead acoustic folk rock, like
Hundreds
Oflions
ErmMcKeown
(Righteous
Babe)
Thisversatileand
charmingartistreturns
withnewmaterial,
muchof whichhaslush
orchestral
instrumentation.Fromplucky,
whimsicalnumberslike
"ToA Hammer"and
soaringsing-a-longs
like "SantaCruz,"to
darker,moodierfare
like "(PutTheFun
BackIn)TheFuneral,"
McKeown'sgot a
vibrantsoundall her
own."TheFoxes"is
a bouncyfeel-good
gem,but really,the
wholealbumis a fun
auraladventurenot to
be missed.(erinmckeown.com)
TheHereAndTheNow
ladyhawke:
Orestes
• SamAndRuby
SpecialEdition
SarahDougher
(Rykodisc)
(Cherchez
LaFemme) Ladyhawke
(Decca)
Youwouldn'tthinka
WhobutSarah
NewZealand-born
boyfromWisconsin
Dougher-indierock
singer-songwriter(SamBrooker)and
goddess,
Rockand
musicianPipBrown
a girl bornin Ghana
RollCampfor Girls
founder,
andPortland getsthespecialdeluxe (RubyAmanfu)would
Statewomen'sstudies editiontreatmentonthis bea naturalmusical
reissueof hersmash-hit• pair,butthissumptuous
professor-would
debut.All 12original
12-cutalbumwith
youaskto writea
tracksplusfivebonus its romanticroots
punkrockscorefor
cutsmakethisdisca
sound,blendingR&B,
the Greekclassicby
goodbang-for-your- gospel,folk andpop
Euripides?
Theresult
buck,especially
if her
will convinceyou.
is a verymodern
brand
of
synthtastic
Favesincludethe
treatment,
relevant
retro-flavored
power
ethereal"Heaven's
to today'spunk-nerd
popfloatsyourboat.My My Home,""What
teenager.
Fivevocal
faveremains"ParisIs DoI DoNow,"which
Odesarefollowedby
showcasestheir rich,
instrumental
versions. Burning,"whichhas
velvetyvocalsand
Yes,it's a bit esoteric, an interestingThe
and "This I Know,"with its
butif youlikethatkind Cars-meets-Tegan
old-schoolsoulvibe.
of thing,it's prettycool. Sara-feel.So much
(cherchezlafemme- goodnesshere.(lady- Solid.(myspace.coml
hawkemusic.com)
samandruby)
projects.
com)
Q+A
Ferron
Since she hit the music scene
in 1980, Ferron's soulful, poetic
songs have moved our community. Recently, she and Bitch
collaborated on Boulder,a richly textured
album that helped introduce Ferron to a
younger audience and reminded the rest of
us why we've loved her for so long. Ferron
speaks to us from the Fen, her sanctuary
and retreat in Three Rivers, Mich.
In termsof yourartisticlabels,doyoudefine
yousel asa lesbianmusic·n?
I remember the day that we decided [how
to define ourselves]. My manager and I,
we knew that if I did the lesbian thing it
would be a big stigma thing, and it's kind
of like we looked at each other and what
she said is, "Well, if you can't tell the truth
when you have nothing to lose, what's
going to happen when you have everything
to lose?" So we started there. I think even
when I did come on the scene, it was kind
of the first time that an artist's inner world,
although it was lesbian-informed, was
not lesbian-identified. My dream was a
place where men and women, straight and
gay, [could] be together. And I actually
accomplished that with my band, who were
three lesbian women and three straight
men. And we just love each other.
Yo la n h d yo m i I
ringthe
women's
movement
ofthe'60s.Howdidthat
• lu e your • • devel ment?
I don't think I would have happened
without the timeliness of the women's
movement. It's where I come from. I joined
it. I met it. I flourished in it. I don't know
that I would have flourished without it. I
still would have been a lesbian-which
is
not so much a sexual identification, it's a
personal identification-but
what it is, it's
a sensibility about politics, or life. It has to
do with love, actually, instead of power. I'm
talking about the thinking part of it that
wants to make the world a better place.
I mean, ultimately a better place for ourselves, but it ends up making it better for
everybody. This is how the world changes,
by where our thoughts go.
No
...........
,,.... rtisticsuccess,
Ft..'1Ton
continued on page 63
January/February
2010
I55
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
A Journe to Self-Discover
Crisscross North America with these new tales. By Rachel Pepper
This month, two young women
take the ultimate feminist road
trip, and one writer spins a tale of
young love and desire.
Girldrive: Criss-CrossingAmerica,
RedefiningFeminism,Nona Willis
Aronowitzand EmmaBee Bernstein
T e Other Sebaal-Herz
(Seal Press}:What would a femi(SevenStoriesPress):
Brainiacgirl alert!TheOthers nist road trip look liker That's the
question behind the new art book
is a milestonebookin the
representation
of Saudi Girldrive: Criss-Crossing America,
Arabianlesbiansexuality. Redefining Feminism. Aronowitz
Writtenunderthe pseudonym and Bernstein are two friends in
Sebaal-Herz,the English their 20s who hit the road to distranslationof thisArabbestcover how feminism manifests
sellergivesWesternreaders
across the nation. Of feminism,
a lookintothe lifeof a Saudi
Aronowitz writes: "It was a tool,
schoolgirlwith a bigbrain
anda penchant
for the ladies. a code word, and a state of mind':
Setin SaudiArabia'sEastern and of the project: "It was a jourProvince,
schoolchumsturn
ney, a blog, and a mini-movement:'
intoloverswhotease,text
Born to Jewish intellectual families with mothers
message
andfostera youthful who were strong feminist role models, Aronowitz
obsession
with self-reflection.
and Bernstein looked to the road trip as a chance to
Writtenentirelyin thefirst
personbya nameless
narrator, explore the various meanings of the word "feminism:'
As they traveled across the country, they realized
the book'sstrengthis its
that while the word "feminist" didn't define everyone,
discussion
of the historyof
the Shi'iabranchof Islamand
it was the framework the two of them used to units exploration
of the double derstand the lives of others, including the 127 women
"othering"of beingnotonly
they interviewed and photographed for this project.
a womanwhowantsto be
These women are a mixture of young activists still
withwomen,butalsopartof
finding their voices and better-known women such
a minorityreligionwithinthe
as
singer Kathleen Hanna, author Michele Wallace
Saudination.Toquenchher
thirstfor queerinteraction, and Wiccan goddess Starhawk. The real stars of the
book, though, are the authors, whose enthusiasm bubthe narratorlogsonto a gay
andlesbianchatroom,where bles up from each glossy page, designed with care by
the protection
of anavatar Kate Basart. Bernstein, who was the photographer
opensa worldof chitchatand
for the project, wrote, "Feminism has always been
sex.Divingintothewaters
inherently tied to travel and self-discovery:' This
of adolescent
homosociality
is an apt sentiment and explains the passion she and
andthe narrator'sfeelingsfor
hotbabes,TheOthersoffers Aronowitz brought to the project. Tragically, shortly
after the road trip ended, Bernstein took her own life
a rareglimpseintooneof the
mostrepressive
societiesin
while traveling in Venice, Italy. This lovely photo book
theworld.(sevenstories.com)
[TaniaHammidi]
pays homage to her creative spirit and a life lived
passionately, if all too briefly. (sealpress.com)
ThisOne'sGoingtoLastForever,
NairneHoltz(Insomniac
Press}:Canadian author Nairne Holtz's lovely
first novel, The Skin Beneath, made a stir when
it was published in 2007, won the Alice B. Award
for debut lesbian fiction and became a finalist for
Quebec's McAuslan First Book Prize. This One's
Going to Last Forever is a collection of stories
that focus Holtz's sharp lens on young women
balanced on the precipice of change. Mostly set in
the late '80s and early '90s amongst a subculture of
women coming up and out into queer activism, these
stories capture the conflicts and cravings of that
heady era. More than the settings, however,
which are mostly Canadian cities like Vancouver
and Montreal, Holtz is an expert at creating threedimensional characters who stand apart from the
usual lesbian lit fare. In the book's longest selection, the
novella ''.A.reyou Committed: Montreal 1989-1990;'
readers meet Clara, a university student who slowly
GREATLINE FROMA BOOKWE AREN'TREVIEWING:"it should've been the lesbian
i called/and not the tribe of men/with average instruments of torture"
-from
56
J
curve
Elizabeth Manani's ,magmary poems for my ,magmary g1rlfnend named anabel (hzmanam.com)
Q+A
Gina Spriggs
In her debut novel, Dirty Laundry, Gina
Spriggs serves up real life issues like racism,
sexual confusion and the difficulties of
friendships between women in a deliciously
fun read. Dirty Laundry is the story of two
women, Maria and Butterfly, whose high
school friendship ended in betrayal. Now
they're all grown up and dealing with motherhood, their careers and trying to find love
while picking up the pieces of their broken
friendship. This fast-paced, witty book reads
like a chick lit beach novel, but has plenty
of queer content to keep you interested long
after your summer tan has faded.
Areyourcharactersbasedonyourown
e onale per"ences?
Actually, I would have to say that anytime
you felt like you could really wrap your hands
around a particular person, whether you
liked them or whether you didn't like them,
I think there was a personal reference I was
discovers her awakening lesbian sexuality through socialism, women's studies
and ACT UP. Holtz portrays Clara's journey in an empathetic tone, including Clara's
confusion about queer language and culture.
While participating at an ACT UP demonstration, Clara sees a "Silence=Death"
sticker and wonders about its meaning:
"Becoming a lesbian sometimes felt like
becoming a Mason: there were so many
secret codes:' Other characters in the book's
stories include Anna, a recent amputee, who
learns that in breaking free of a longterm lesbian relationship, she is free
to explore her sexuality anew; Gabby,
a boyish bottom who can't commit; Kelly,
a long-time heroin addict; and Nathalie,
who's into girls but can't leave her wealthy
boyfriend-yet. Most of the stories are infused with a tinge of melancholic sadness.
Happy endings are not guaranteed. Yet,
Holtz, a former librarian and archivist, is
a refreshing breeze in a forest of often
too sappy, feel-good fiction. For some
queer lit with real-life grit, readers
would do well to discover this talented
writer. (insomniacpress.com) ■
able to draw from experience.
Thethemeof racismwithinthe
AfricanAmericancommunity
runsthroughout
the book.
There is a lot of discrimination among
African Americans and it's a weird
thing. In my family, there is every shade
of brown, so it never really occurred to
me that there would be other African
Americans that had a problem with skin
color. I think it's something that African
Americans really don't want to talk about
because they feel like they are airing
dirty laundry ... and at the end of the day,
it is so rampant.
BothMariaandButterflyhaverelationships
with womenandmen.Doyouseethemas
beingqueer?
I think that Butterfly was one of those
people that liked attention ... wherever she
could get it. She's one of those people that
can't say no and really kind of blossoms
OramaQueers!
ThePurityMyth
FrankAnthonyPolito JessicaValenti
(Kensington
Books) (SealPress)
under the limelight. Whereas
Maria, she really feels like ...
the world is (her] oyster. She
doesn't consider herself gay,
she doesn't consider herself bisexual, she
considers herself Maria.
Marialefta lesbianrelationship
to getmarried
andhavea child,but shecontinuesto be
attractedto women.Doesthat mirroryour
ownexperience?
I call myself-you know how they have
recovering alcoholics-a
recovering
hetero-holic. [Laughs] I truly was. I do
love dick, I just don't like that thing that's
attached to it. (Laughs] My identity really
evolved from wanting to have things
in my life that included a family and
financial stability and going the straight
route in order to get it, and then realizing,
you know what, this just sucks and I'd
rather be broke if that's what it calls for.
(ginaspriggs.com) [ArielMessman-Rucker]
1
Drift:Stories
VictoriaPatterson
(MarinerBook)
Young
Woman
& theSea
GlennSou
, (Houghton
Mifflin
A seriesof interwoven ' Harcourt)
This'80s highschool Co-authorof Yes
shortstoriesabout
novelchroniclesthe
MeansYesand
worldof Bradley
founderof feministing. : the uppercrustof
SportswriterGlenn
JamesDayton,a gay
com,Valentioffersher NewportBeach,Drift
Stoutchronicles
the
the livesof
highschoolsenior
insightintoAmerica's explores
lifeofTrudyEderle,the
andaspiringthespian obsessionwith female the wealthy-revealing first womanto swim
problems
thatare
whosemainconcerns sexualityandthe
the EnglishChannel.
An
usuallyhiddenfrom
are landingthe lead
horrorsof what she
inspirational
account
publicview.Thewell
in Okla-homo
and
callsthe "virginity
of a youngwoman
characters
nailingthe Jane
movement."Valenti's rounded
whopavedthe way
· that populatethese
Seymourmonologue sharpwit makes
for femaleathletes
Stout's
from Somewhere
in
readingabouthowthe vignettes-especially everywhere,
Christianright is trying the Sapphically
novelwill openyour
Time.. .that is until
inclinedones-will not eyesto the storybehind
he meetsRichie,the
to set womenback
disappoint.
(houghton- herlandmarkfeat.
hot newboyin town.
60 yearsbearable.
[AMR] (houghtonmifflin(kensingtonbooks.
com) (sea/press.com)
[Ariel mifflinbooks.com)
[Frances
Yee]
Messman-Rucker]
books.com)
[AMR]
January/February
2010
I57
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Findin CommonGround
Isolated characters find kindred spirits this month. By Candace Moore
BESTDOCUMENTARY
OF2009
ProdigalSons(BigSkyFilms):
Filmmaker
KimberlyReed's
unflinching
documentary,
ProdigalSons,haswonraves
everywhere
becauseit's an
astonishing
lookat family
dysfunction.
Watching
Reed
(a Montana-bred,
NewYork
magazine
editor)headhome
for herhighschoolreunion,
tookmebackto myown
reunionin Idaho.Inthose
20years,I hadcomeoutas
a lesbian;Reedcameout
asa lesbian,
too-and asa
woman.ReedwasoncePaul,
highschoolquarterback,
the
popularAdonisof hisclass.
Reed'sadoptedolderbrother
Marc,wasovershadowed
by
Paul'saccomplishments
and
theirreunionunderscores
howmuchReedandher
brotherarestill livingin the
shadowof the manshenever
wantedto be.Thestoryis
expertlyinterwoven,
creating
a sad,exhilarating,
funny
experience
filledwitheasy
gestures(homemoviesof
youngerbrotherdressedas
a girladda wonderfultouch)
andunexpected
drama(Marc
hasfits of ragethatlandhim
in jail at onepoint).Whilethe
verysexyReeddazzlesher
classmates,
Marcfadesinto
the background,
buta search
for hisbioparentsleadshim
to discovera shockinglinkto
Hollywood
royalty.Thedrama
continues
andneverquite
wrapsup neatly.It's easilythe
bestdocumentary
of lastyear.
(prodiga/sonsfilm.com)
[DAM]
58
I curve
These two recent films showcase bridges forged
between communities and connections explored
between strangers.
fantastic cast of fresh faces, Tru Loved is one of the most
uplifting, well-acted queer teen flicks I've seen in a
while. (heretv.com)
TruLoved(here!) Director Stuart Wade's feel-good
TheInsomniacs
(Altcinema):
Kami Chrisholm's latest
teen pie celebrates alliances.True to its John Hughesian
lesbian-themed short offers a quirky, after-hours
genre, Tru Loved boasts an upbeat soundtrack and vision of a butch, who is up late, catching classic
cute outsider characters who learn how to demand the films, studying herself in the mirror and, naturally,
love and respect they're due. Tru, short for Gertrude
craving waffies. Bell's (Skyler Cooper) last-ditch
(a la Stein) moves with her two moms from rainbow- effort to find reprieve from her clockwatching-a 3
decked San Francisco to conservative Orange County,
a.m. Insomniacs Anonymous meeting-introduces
Cali£, where dosed-minded jocks and cheerleaders at the IA newcomer to a motley crew of non-sleepers.
her new high school quickly dub her a dyke and begin
Bell's affiiction for not finding Zs has always been a
flinging insults. Although she identifies as straight,
problem, especially since covering the night shift, but
Tru doesn't correct anyone on her sexuality-who
the unrest has been bothering her more lately. When
cares, right? Refusing to let bigots make the rules, T ru a flirty fellow insomniac in fishnets (Jenoa Harlow)
steps in and stops similar harassment from happening
makes eye contact and admits a craving for waffies,
to an out teen, Walter. Then, when a dashing football
too, Bell invites her home for breakfast. Perhaps
player (Matthew Thompson) from the cool kids' together the two strangers will find some rest?
table bravely asks Tru out, she's smitten, only to learn
Chrisholm's camera delights in the potential intimacy
that his love for musical theater turns out to be more
of casual connections with shots of their quickly
stereotypical than surprising. Gradually helping her entangled fingertips and bodies spooning. This
closeted quarterback beau accept his gay identity,
character-driven short combines old-time romance
Tru briefly plays the role of his beard before
with French New Wave-style minimalismReadourQ&A while using hot dyke principles to ponder the
challenging him to stop drowning in
with TruLoved
internalized homophobia. With cameos
absurdity of the everyday, or everynight, as the
starNajarra
Towsend
at
by Jane Lynch and Bruce Vilanch and a
case may be. (altcinema.com)■
curvemag.com
Q+A
Tina Mabry
Aliensin theAttic
: American
Outrage
(Twentieth
Century
Fox)• (FirstRunFeatures)
OK,this is HomeAlone
meetsMenin Black
fluff,buta few wise
jokes(likekidstrying
to operatea rotary
phone)will getyou
throughit, especially
if you'relookingfor
something
to watch
withthe littleones.
Afterfeistylittlegreen
mencrashlandonthe
Pearson's
house,the
kidsmustsaveEarth,
whichoffersupa
reasonfor Doris
Roberts
to bein a
karatesmackdown
and
AshleyTisdaleto show ;
upin a bikini.(fox.com)
NurseryUniversity
(Docurama
Films)
TwofeistyShoshone
sistersarenabbed
byfederalmarshals
for lettingtheir
livestockgrazeoutside
theirranch-land
recognized
bythe
UnitedStatesas
Shoshone
land.You'll
wonderwhythe
government
spent
millionspersecuting
two elderlyAmerican
Indianwomen.
The
shocking
answer
comesoutasthedispute
goesallthewayto
theUnitedNationsin
thisexceptional
film.
(firstrunfeatures.com)
l KathyGriffin:
She'llCuta Bitch
• (Shout!Factory)
Followfive NewYork
familiesthroughan
Ourfavoritelesboabsurdyear-long
adjacentD-listeris
processto gettheir
backwithan uncenchildrenintothe best
soredspecialasfunny
preschool,
repletewith andoutrageous
as
tears,hystericsand
ever.Assomeone
who
investment
bankerson wasin theaudienceat
theirknees.Thefilm , Portland,
Ore.,'sArlene
expertlycombinesreal Schnitzer
ConcertHall
parentalangstandthe ' whereit wasfilmed,I
outrageousness
of an
promise,it losesvery
elite
private
system
littlein thetransfer
s:a:
CD thatsays
whatkidsdoat to thescreen.Bonus:
<(
$ 3 years
oldguarantees never-seen
bitsonthe
Q
.J
UJ
their
futures.
A
real
,
Octomom
and
Sarah
u::
hoot
for
public
school
Palin,
texting
Sarah
~
progenylike me.
I:
' Silverman
andmore.
0
()
(docurama.
com)
(shoutfactory.
com)
=
(/)
Winner of the 2009 Outfest Grand Jury
Prize for Outstanding U.S. Dramatic
Feature, director Tina Mabry's film
Mississippi Damned has festival audiences
across the country falling in love with
the poignant story of struggle and adversity
in the Deep South. Mabry imbues the
film with her own personal stories and
the characters-many
of whom are
based on her own family membersgive the film an unmistakably authentic
tone. The characters face poverty, abuse
and addiction and the camera never
shies away from these painful scenes,
making the film alternately difficult to
watch and heartwaming.
Thereis somuchviolence,
abuse,illness
andevenmurderwithinthefamilyunitin
thefilmandyet,it felt likean honestportrayal.Howdidyouachievethat?
It was my experience, my life, and that's
what I knew growing up. I really wanted
to explore that, and I knew that people
that I was growing up with were going
through the same thing. While I knew
I wasn't alone in the situation, I never
really talked about it and I really wanted
to expose some of the things like the
molestation that goes on, the homophobia.
Because if we don't start addressing it,
how can we really solve it, or somehow
heal from what you've gone through?
ha as be n e
di nc e po e?
The response has been great ... we knew
it would be universal. I don't care who
you are, everyone knows about struggle.
Everyone has had to try to figure out how
to do something when you haven't done it
before. You don't have an example, trying
to build your own road, make your own
way. And that's something that's been
reaffirmed in the screenings because we
have people from various counties like
Germany or Canada saying, you know
what, this is my story and you would
think it's kind of an American story, but
it's not. It really transcends geography,
race, sexuality, and that's a great thing.
o,e of
characer ,s sedon
yoursister,whois a gaywomanandstill
"I reallywantedto expose
some of the thingslikethe
molestationthat goes on,
the homophobia.Becauseif
we don't start addressingit,
how can we reallysolveit?"
livesin Mississippi.
Hasshefaceda lot
homophobia
in theSouth?
I know for a fact if my sister had come
out when she was [in California] and
was living here, her life would be totally
different. We have a long way to go
[in Calif.,] but it's still easier. I can go
anywhere I want to and hold my partner's
hand and I don't feel like I'm going to get
bashed or anything. I can't say the same
thing [about the South] because we don't
hold hands when we're in Mississippi; we
don't show any public affection because
were not really sure how we'll be received
and no one wants to be physically accosted.
w·
of e Im sedonactu
events,wasit difficultto revealyourfamily's
It's tamed down a lot, and I just don't
think I was ready to show all of it. At the
end of it, I'm really happy I did this film
because it was really cathartic. I really
got a chance to leave some of the issues
that had haunted me ... behind in that
film. And I don't feel bad about that. I
no longer feel ashamed about anything.
It is what it is, and it made me who I am
and I'm never going to feel ashamed of
something that I feel makes me a stronger
person. (mississippidamned.com)[Ariel
Messman-Rucker]
(/)
January/February
2010
I59
REVIEWSTech Girl
Get Read for Action
WET and Bayonetta introduce two new digital divas. By Rachel Shatto
Powermat:
Is it magic?Nope,
just magnets.
ThePowermat
wirelesschargerletsyou
kisscordsgoodbyeby using
electromagnetic
inductionto
harnessanddeliverpowerto
yourhandheld
devices(like
mobilephones,
digitalcameras
andgaminggadgets).
If you
wereto takea strollthrough
the Jetsons'spacecondo,
you'dseea Powermat
chargingall theirsmallelectronics.Tousethe Powermat,
you put the deviceyouwant
to chargein a specially
enabledcaseandset it on
the surfaceof the mat.The
magnetswill alignandit will
automatically
begincharging.
Thematcansensewhenyour
deviceis fullycharged,so it
automatically
shutsoff and
there'snopowerwasted.The
designis sleekandsexy,and
the mobileversionis perfect
for frequenttravelerswho
aretiredof stuffingtheirbags
full of tangledcords.Best
of all,it'll makeyoufeellike
a future-dyke-2000
when
youpopa gadgeton it andit
makesthe littleroboticchirp
thatletsyouknowit's working
its magic-er, science.
($99,powermat.com)
[RachelShatto]
It's time to dust off your game controllers, because
there are new must,play action adventure games with
fierce females at the helm. Joining the ranks of the
heroine,led gaming pantheon, which includes the
likes of Metroid, Mirror'sEdge and Tomb Raider, are
Bethesda's WET and Platinum Games' Bayonetta.
Both titles are cinematic and highly stylized, and
they focus on the kind of acrobatic moves we love
to see on,screen. Best of all: There is just something
about both of them that reads, well, kinda gay.
WET(BethesdaSoftworks):Think Pam Grier's Foxy
Brownmeets Uma Thurman in Kill Bill and you have
a good idea of what to expect from WET and its sexy
new protagonist, Rubi Malone. The game derives its
Lesbo-a-Go
With all the new applications
available for the iPhone, it was
just a matter of time before
somebody came up with
MyGayGo, an app that helps
you find businesses that are
LGBT-friendly. MyGayGo lists
results based on proximity
to your current location and
60
I curve
title from the term "wet,work;' a euphemism for
assassination, and Rubi, a tattooed, pouty,lipped
"fixer" voiced by curve'sNovember cover girl Eliza
Dushku, lives up to the label.
When this iiber,tough femme finds herself double,
crossed, she vows revenge. And with the help of her
two trusty pistols, a samurai sword, the vocabulary of
a sailor and a set of dazzling acrobatic moves, she gets
it-and then some.
Primarily a shoot!em,up,fest that calls on Rubi's
ability to run up walls, swing from poles and generally
lay waste to baddies in slow,mo, the game is punc,
tuated by surprising plot twists and the occasional
thrilling car chase in which Rubi leaps from a vehicle
in a perfectly timed sequence.
helps you find a dentist, doggie
groomer or day spa in your
"nationwide Gayberhood."
As a resource to make more
conscious choices, MyGayGo
provides a way for you to
spend your consumer dollars
on businesses that will in
turn support issues that are
important to you and the gay
community. Bonus: $1 from
every consumer app download
and $25 from every
/.
business-listing fee
will be donated to gay
charities including
The Trevor Project
and The Point
~ll!li'::il-lrJI
Foundation. The
app has over 20,000
listings and is growing steadily.
Plus, they offer a free 90-day
business listing. ($3, mygaygo.com) [Frances
Yee]
Sign for Your Cause
If you've been itching for a way to get involved
but aren't sure how to start fighting the good
fight, take a look at Care2's online political
activist tool The Petition Site for help. It's
accessible and easy to use and, with the
click of a mouse, you can sign your name
to any number of petitions already making the rounds or, in true grassroots
fashion, start one of your own. You can also organize, track and share your
petitions with your own "petitionsite"-a personalized account that enables
you to connect with friends, other Care2 members and your local community.
To take the next step, join a discussion, try some of the site's green living
tips and while you're at it, apply for a job from listings of socially responsible
companies. (thepetitionsite.com) [FrancesYee]
C
FunShopping
withFriends
Casual gamers may be frustrated by the
complicated controls, but given time and a
little training at Rubi's headquarters, they
are manageable and, once mastered, make
for an exciting, visually stunning, acrobatic
action game.
For fans of the Tarantino-esque films,
WET is a dream, with its furious action and
grindhouse-inspired story and appearance.
Gritty on-screen film grain and drive-in
inspired intermission loading screens ( that
remind you what tasty treats await you at the
concession stand) and the '70s, psychobilly
and punk soundtrack complete the exploitation experience. In the end, WET may
be a bit rough around the edges, but Rubi
Malone is just one of those antiheroines you
can't decide if you want to be-or be with.
($60, gamestop.com)
Bayonetta
(PlatinumGames):With a lead character that is all sass and swagger, Platinum's
new game is a lezzie fave in the making. Add
to the that the fact that Bayonetta is a hot
shape-shifting witch with a British accent,
sexy spectacles, a cat suit ( made of her own
magical hair, no less) who pulls off Crouching
Tiger,Hidden Dragon-like martial arts moves,
and you've got the beginnings of a seriously
thrilling game, too.
Having woken from a 500-year sleep,
Bayonetta, a member of an ancient witch
clan, is forced to defend herself against
murderous cherubic foes and a wickedly sexy
blonde nemesis named Jeanne (which, if you
ask us, has a little too much of the "woman
scorned" about her, if you know what we
mean). Suffering from amnesia, Bayonetta is
confused and unable to remember who she is;
however, over time, her memory returns and
the truth of her predicament becomes clear.
The game's setting, Vigrid, is a fictional
European city that is both lush and surreal, and effortlessly mixes sprawling paved
gardens and medieval architecture. It is a
Gothic, stylized masterpiece. However, the
true star of the game is the combat.
Packing four shiny pink pistols-named
Parsley, Rosemary, Sage and ThymeBayonetta is armed from head to toe, literally. When her hair isn't busy doubling as
wardrobe, she transforms it into a variety
of death devices including a guillotine and
an iron maiden. These attacks, both graceful
and monstrous, are mind-blowing. And
together, the gunplay, magic and martial
arts combine to create a whirling dervish of
total enemy devastation.
While her moves may sound complex,
casual gamers need not be intimidated, there
are a variety of difficulty settings, ranging
from very difficult to very easy-the latter
allowing you to control Bayonetta with the
press of a single button. Fans of the Devil
May Cry series and hot chicks in specs are
sure to love her-almost
as much as we do.
($60, gamestop.com)■
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Reviews: real opinions
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Survivor or Victim:' continued from page 19
Candy Dish of the Damned continued from page 40
says drugs also played a role in her rape. She
testified to a grand jury that the director gave
her champagne and Quaaludes before he
raped her.
This year, the brutal rape of a 16-year-old
girl in Richmond, Cali£, - and the heinous
discovery of at least 11 bodies in the home
of Ohio sex offender Anthony Sowell are a
reminder that even in their own neighborhoods and on public school property, women
are not safe.
In the 1970s, when feminists made rape a
central issue, women were taught to refer to
themselves as "survivors;' not victims. I spent
years referencing "survivors:' Many famous
survivors-Oprah
is one of them-champion
the term.
Yet, lately, as I have encountered the stories
of other women who have been raped, I
can't help but remember sitting in a police
station a few years ago, repeating the story
of my recent rape to a highly unsympathetic police detective. So, I think women
need to reclaim the word "victim:' I may
stand alone in saying this, but we should
not be thought of as some amorphous,
I-got-over-it group.
Those of us who have been raped have
been taken against our will-sometimes once,
like Geimer; sometimes over a protracted
period of time, like Phillips; sometimes by
strangers and sometimes by men who say they
love us-our fathers, brothers, uncles, neighbors, teachers, classmates, friends.
One in three women is raped. Are these
women all survivors? Certainly not. There are
those who are put to death by Sharia law in
Muslim countries, or murdered by their own
families in so-called honor killings. I don't feel
like a survivor. The men who raped me have
never been prosecuted. Phillips and Geimer
have both declared they have forgiven their
rapists. I haven't forgiven mine.
Rape is a crime that has become, incredibly,
so passe that we have returned to a prefeminist
era where the rapist is lauded and the victim
is decried. We need to reclaim our status as
victims. Rape creates victims-terrorized,
bloody, bruised, HIV-infected, impregnated
victims. Rape creates physical, psychological and emotional wounds that cannot
heal, no matter how much time has passed.
As lesbians and as feminists, we need to
remember that rape destroys lives. Rape is
meant to turn us into nothing, to repudiate
our sexuality. Making us think we are not
victims is just one more violation. ■
soon-to-be-booming sex life. News to mebut OK, I was interested. What was next?
I was told to conduct a ritual, for which
I would require a fair amount of fresh seawater. I was to collect water from the ocean,
leave it out on the next starry night and then
sprinkle it on my crown chakra nightly for a
month, repeating a mantra I dare not include
in this article. So ... road trip! Giggling at
the ridiculousness of it all, my friend and I
careened toward Wiccan waters. We found a
quiet spot, splashed through the rain toward
the beach and collected our bounty. On the
way home, we stopped for a celebratory ice
cream cone at the Tillamook Cheese Factory.
As we sat in the cafe, I started feeling a
strange familiarity with the place-and then
Snap. There I was, 14 years old, on tour with
my church youth group, sitting in the very
same seat, licking what was probably the very
same flavor of ice cream, with a tongue that
hadn't even begun to fathom its more devious
purposes. My adult eyes widened, my young
eyes widened and I looked up from my past
to see the vastly different woman I'd become.
New Me arched her eyebrow, grinned and
gave Old Me a delicious wink. Just you wait,
Pollyanna-it
gets better from here.
Back on Candy Island, I was three months
past the Wiccan ritual and gearing up for yet
another Snap moment. My sex life had certainly picked up, and, bolstered by my success, I was fully embracing the unexpected.
But this was intense, even for me. I sat in my
chair, the candy dish now three seats closer,
and eyeballed the upside-down submissive.
She had a look on her face I was vaguely
familiar with; they call it Sub Space-the
telltale glaze, the eyes simultaneously absent
and intently focused. Did she enjoy this?
A tattooed butch strolled up casually, cuffs
clanking from the pocket of her leather pants,
and tossed candies at the woman's crotch like
she was a goldfish game at the county fair.
Her first try missed, also her second-but
the third made a resounding clink as it hit its
mark. The crowd went wild.
Old Me was sitting on my lap now, staring up at New Me with a baffied expression
on her face. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"Er ... " came my hesitant response. The container of candies was two sets of hands
away from me now. This time, a young man
in a leather harness was dragged across the
floor and directed to hold the candy on his
outstretched tongue like a depraved maitre
d' while his master took a turn at the free-
62
I curve
throw line. One set of hands left. ''Are you
really gonna do that?" Old Me asked, nose
wrinkled in disgust.
Was I? The dish was being passed to me
now, its current holder taking a pass. I held it
in my hands, tiny shiny candy baubles sparkling up at me, daring me to seal my fate as a
heathen. I dipped my fingers in and took out
four pieces, passing the dish absently to my
right as I pondered whether they would melt
in my hand, in my mouth or in the fires of
hell that were suddenly licking my feet.
I went with my mouth. I grabbed the hand
of Old Me and walked us out of the room as
I munched the candies. Some things were too
much, even for New Me. But what a ride it
was to the line I finally wouldn't cross. ■
Trouble With a Capital T continued from page 43
two days to shoot and a handful of weeks
in post-production. Speakeasy, a queer porn
noir, was her third release, launched shortly
thereafter. In November, Roulette became a
series with the release of Roulette Dirty South.
Like the original, it's a collection of vignettes,
but this time, the setting is North Carolina.
Trouble intends to travel the country with
her series, taking it to different locations to
discover what queer desire looks like away
from the West Coast. She also has a new
gonzo-style feature called Seven Minutes in
Heaven. She keeps her longer-term plans for
the Real Queer Productions line a little closer
to her chest, but it's clear that she's excited by
the possibilities and not at a loss for ideas.
Trouble identifies as a queer director
rather than as a lesbian director "because
my personal turn-ans vary so wildly from
women to men to transpeople that I couldn't
just make one kind of movie, you know?" Bur
she knows she's learned a lot from an earlier
generation of lesbian-identified filmmakers.
"From watching How to Fuck in High Heels
and the rest of SIR Productions' movies, I
learned that there can be a lot of fun and a
lot of DIY attitude put into porn, and a lot
of art put into porn. And I think that really
stuck with me;' she says, speaking of Jackie
Strano and Shar Rednour's influential mid'90s lesbian porn production company.
"We probably need a new lesbian director;' says Trouble. "I still think that
authentic lesbian porn does need to be made.
Let's challenge one of the readers of curve
to become one of the next lesbian porn
directors who makes real authentic girl-ongirl stuff. Because it's hot!" ■
Luck Be a Lady continued from rage 51
Ferron continued from page~~
Gloria Bigelow, Kate McKinnon, Doria
Biddle and Dani Campbell.
Also making a guest appearance 1s a
beloved TV veteran, Meredith Baxter, who
played the crush-worthy mother on Family
Ties. "(She) is coming in to do an awesome,
fantastic guest spot ... so we're really excited.
We were shocked that she agreed to do it, and
we're totally thrilled that she's going to come
play with us;' says Bennett.
As if all this were not enough to keep the
duo busy, they're developing an innovativeas yet untitled-reality
TV series that will
draw upon DeBuono's background as a clinical psychologist. They're also working on a
psychological thriller with Out at the Wedding
screenwriter Paula Goldberg (who also polished the script for In Her Line of Fire).
"It'll be starring me and Cathy, but in a
genre I don't think our community has seen
yet;' says Bennett. "The idea is really original-it's fantastic-there's a lot of intrigue:'
Through their acting and activism, and their
sheer, um, hotness, Bennett and DeBuono are
setting the gold standard for lesbo celebrities,
and Bennett assures us that they couldn't be
happier. "Everything's fantastic. Were very
much in love. We're happy. We started telling people at film festivals chat we've been
together for 12 years, because they were like,
When did you start dating:' And we're like,
We've been together for 12 years. And they're
like, Really:"'
Bennett laughs like a teenager with a crush.
'J\nd I say, 'No, no, no: So, it's like we're not
helping with the rumor mill:' ■
whatareyourothergoals?
I'm not seeking anything but a life now. I'm
not looking to achieve greater fame or to be
on the road. I'm going to be 57 this year and
I probably am still touring more than most
people my age. But I do try to not lose sight of
my home life and my responsibilities and my
peace of mind. I want to incorporate something more sacred or holy in my life.
TellsusabouttheFenandhowit factorsinto
yourdesireforthesacredandholy?
I did a year's worth of workshops there. I'm
thinking of making it kind of a micro-cabin
community, where the Fen would be the
longhouse, essentially, and there would be livable cabins on the property and then you just
use the big kitchen and the bathroom and
everything and you have your own private
space, either for people to live long-term,
people who can't afford whole houses, and
want community, or else people who want
to come and write for a month or more and
keep the house empty.
You'refromCanada,butyou'vereallymadea
homeforyourselfin theStates.Doyouconsider
yourselfanAmerican
now?
Well no, I'm Canadian. I'm Canadian and I live
in the United States because that's where my
work is. I have a green card and that's how it
goes. But I identify Canadian. I've been invited
to become an American, but deep down I can't.
I can't become an American because I wasn't
brought up on the concept of number one. I
mean, Canadians would think of why just one:'
Let's get a group. It's a different mind-set and a
different psychology. [ReneRosechild]
2009 STATEMENT
OFOWNERSHIP
Publication Title: Curve. Publication No.: 0010-355. Filing
Date: October 21, 2009. Issue Frequency: Monthly except
bimonthly Jan/Feb and July/Aug. Number of Issues
Published Annually: 10; Annual Subscription Price: $49.50
Complete Mailing Address: 1550 Bryant St. Ste. 510, San
Francisco, CA 94103-4856. Contact Person: Flo Enriquez
Telephone: (415) 863-6538 x17. Publisher: Frances Stevens,
1550 Bryant St. Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103-4267.
Executive Editor: Diane Anderson-Minshall, 7121 SE Grant
St., Portland, OR 97215. Managing Editor: Kristin Smith,
1550 Bryant St. Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103-4856.
Owner(s): Outspoken Enterprises, 1550 Bryant St. Ste. 510,
San Francisco, CA 94103-4856; Frances Stevens, 1550
Bryant St. Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103-4856; Katie
Sanborn, 116 Bark Ct., Half Moon Bay, CA 94109. Known
Bondholder Mortgagees and other security holders owning
one percent or more of total amount of bonds, mortgages or
other securities: none. Tax Status: has not changed during
proceeding 12 months.
Publication Title: Curve. Issue Date for Circulation Data:
Nov. 2009. Extent and Nature of Circulation: Average No.
Copies Each Issue During Preceding 12 Months: A) Total
No. Copies Net Press Run: 77863. 8) Paid Circulation. (By
Mail and Outside the Mail) (1) Mailed Outside-County Paid
Subscriptions Stated on Form 3541: 19,621; (2) Mailed
In-County Paid Subscriptions Stated on Form 3541: 611;
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Through Dealers and Carriers, Street Vendors, Counter
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USPS: 1,011. C) Total Paid Distribution: 61,790. D) Free or
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on Form 3541: 3,200; (2) Free or Nominal Rate In-County
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76,661. 8) Paid Circulation. (By Mail and Outside the Mail)
(1) Mailed Outside-County Paid Subscriptions Stated on
Form 3541: 19, 110; (2) Mailed In-County Paid Subscriptions
Stated on Form 3541 695; (3) Paid Distribution Outside the
Mails Including Sales Through Dealers and Carriers, Street
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(4) Paid Distribution by Other Classes of Mail Through the
USPS: 1,050. C) Total Paid Distribution: 62,055. D) Free
or Nominal Rate Distribution (by Mail and Outside the
Mail): (1) Free or Nominal Rate Outside-County as Stated
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Distribution Mailed at Other Classes Through the USPS:
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Total Distribution: 75,211. G) Copies Not Distributed: 1,450.
H) Total: 76,661. I) Percent Paid: 81.18%. Publication of
Statement of Ownership: January/February 2010.
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January/February
2010
I63
: TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
FayCarmona
Why we want to wake up to this sexy morning talk show host.
By Ariel Messman-Rucker
1 . Shedoesn'tlet homophobiclistenersfaze
her. Carmona regularly has callers tell her
she's a lesbian because she hasn't met the
right man, that she's going to hell and that
homosexuality is a choice. But she's able to
stay strong in spite of these remarks because
so many people tell her that they have changed
their minds about the gay community after
listening to her show.
2. She embracesfemininity."You know,
I love femmes. I'm a femme myself. I
love heels. I love makeup. I love all that;'
Carmona says. "In Miami, there were a lot
of drag queens and gay boys, and they don't
let you leave the house unless your hair and
makeup is done:'
For the past two years, Spanishspeaking women have been
crushing on Fay Carmona, and we
can see why. She's the sexy and
smart cohost of The Luis Jimenez
Show, the No. 1 rated Spanishlanguage morning show in New
York City. Even in a show filled with
outrageous characters, musical
parodies and ridiculous comedy
sketches, Carmona stands out as
the star. Besides being drop-dead
gorgeous, this queer Latina also has
a sharp wit and a knack for comedy,
which comes in handy when dealing
with the homophobic listeners
who call into the show. Before
making a name for herself in New
York, Carmona ruled the airwaves
of South Beach, Fla., and the San
Francisco Bay Area, causing women
up and down both coasts to swoon
at the sound of her voice.
64
Icurve
6. EverySundayis SexySunday.Carmona
says she and her girlfriend try to make
Sundays as relaxing as possible. "We spend
the whole day naked, relaxing and having sex:'
Then, when 2 p.m. rolls around? "We put on
the fuck,me pumps:' Talk about hot!
7. She oncestoleShakira'slipstick."It was
really red;' she laughs. "It wasn't really my
color:' And that isn't the only stunt Carmona
has pulled. She's jumped out of an airplane,
escaped from a car underwater and even swum
with crocodiles, all in the name of ratings.
8.
Shewas hypnotized
intobeingstraight,but
it didn't stick. As a good,natured joke, The
Luis Jimenez Show hired a hypnotist to try
to make Carmona straight. "[I] let myself be
3. She holdsher own with a male cohost. hypnotized, which was a big crock of crap. It
"It's hard with boys because you give them a didn't work;' Carmona says, laughing.
hand and they want the arm;' says Carmona.
"I want them to be comfortable with me, but
at the same time I also need to command that
respect from them as a woman. Do I hold my
own? I have no choice:'
4. She's modest.Carmona hasn't let the
fact that she has scads of fans go to her
head. 'Tm completely humbled, completely
amazed, completely honored. To feel that
I'm part of somebody's admiration ... it's an
amazing thing:'
5.
Shewearsher prideon her sleeve.As an
out lesbian on an iiber,popular radio show,
she is opening the eyes of people who have
never come into contact with the queer com,
munity. 'Tm educating people. I'm letting
them know that we're normal-this
is my
life. There's nothing wrong with the fact that
I love another woman. There's nothing wrong
with the fact that I want to marry someone
and share my life with them. There's nothing
wrong with the fact that we want to have chil,
dren, just like you. And we should have the
same rights that you do:'
"I'vegot the ring.
I'm readyto do the
deed, but I'm kindof
holdingout, waiting
for shitto be legit."
9. She thinks Megan Fox is a hottie,too.
"I know that when I see Megan Fox on
Transformers, I'm definitely thinking she's
hot, and I know that I'm not the only one
thinking that;' Carmona says.
1 0. Sheand her partnerare waitingto get
marrieduntilNewYorklegalizesgaymarriage.
'Tve got the ring. I'm ready to do the deed,
but I'm kind of holding out, waiting for shit
to be legit, for me to be able to say, 'We live
in New York. Were going to get married
here, honey;" Carmona explains. "I would be
so proud to see that marriage license saying
New York:' ■
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INLOVE
Property of:
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·www.outontheshelf.ca
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and Cathy DeBuono
Come Out-As a Couple
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YOURCHICKENBROTH:
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Find delicious recipes and cooking tips at Swanson Broth.com
tAmong major brands. In Swanson, a small amount of glutamate occurs naturally in yeast extract.
& 2009 CSC Brands LP. College Inn 1sa registered trademark of Del Monte Foods. Butterball is a registered
trademark of Butterball, LLC. Sweet Sue is a registered trademark of Bumble Bee Foods, LLC.
FRANKLY
SPEAKING
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2010
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
I
VOLUME 20 NUMBER
1
Publisher and Founder Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Diane Anderson-Minshall
Managing Editor Kristin A. Smith
Associate Editor Rachel Beebe
Assistant Editor Rachel Shatto
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Music Review Editor Margaret Coble
Contributing Editors Julia Bloch, Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Gretchen Lee, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
EditorialAssistants Lisa Gunther, Briana Hernandez, Sarah Jimenez
PUBLISHING
Senior Advertising Executive Diana L Berry
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Photo Editor Hayley McMillen
Production Manager Ondine Kilker
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
Web Producer Nikki Woelk
Photo Assistant Brenda Armendariz
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Jamie Anderson, Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin, Bree
Clarke, Jennifer Corday, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Beren deMotier,
Ainsley Drew, Michele Fisher, Lauren Marie Fleming, Katrina
Fox, Tania Hammidi, Kathi lsserman, Gillian Kendall, Kate Lacey,
Nina Lary, Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey,
Candace Moore, Alison Peters, Catherine Plato, Aimsel L. Ponti,
Heather Robinson, Laurie K. Schenden, Lori Selke, Dave Steinfeld,
Edie Stull, Robin Miner-Swartz, Yana Tallon-Hicks, Kyra Thomson,
Jocelyn Voo, Alison Walkley, Melany Walters-Beck
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Paul Michael Aguilar, Erica Beckman, Cheryl Craig, Tony
Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Gabriela Hashun, Janet Mayer,
Cheryl Mazak, Maggie Parker, Elisa Shebaro, Leslie Van Stelten,
Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams, Misty Winter
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January/February and July/August) by Outspoken Enterprises, Inc .. 1550 Bryant St..
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manner, either whole or in part, without wntten permission from the publisher. Publication of
the name or photograph of any perscns or organizations appeanng, advertising or listing In
Curve may not be taken as an ind1cat1onof the sexual orientation of that individual or group
unless specifically stated. Curve welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and
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Two Decades Together
I'm not sure how much readers pay attention to what's happening behind
the scenes in media, but I have to tell you, 2009 was a scary year. A lot of
the magazines we loved closed shop while websites like Magazine Death
Pool and Gawker (with its series, Great Magazine Die Off 2009) eagerly
documented every single magazine failure-from
LGBT mags like Genre
and Out Traveler, to big budget mainstream ones like Radar, Vibe, Cosmo
Girl and Gourmet.
You've stuck by us-for the last two decades and during this recessionand we're proud to have been your magazine of choice for so long. While
corporations like Conde Nast dump magazines that have millions of
readers (focusing on advertisers more than readers), to us, you're more than
a market: You're our community.
The beauty of being an independent (and lesbian~owned!) magazine is
that readers are our lifeline ( seriously, your subscriptions pay to make this
magazine) and we've always been able to be selective about which advertisers
we work with ( trust me, tobacco ads would have brought in some nice cash,
if we weren't opposed to them).
This year we're celebrating our unprecedented 20th anniversary all year
long with special issues; multimedia projects that incorporate video, web and
print; a huge anniversary gala this fall; and our first"I..:'Awards celebrating 20
years of lesbian film, music, books, arts, politics, sports and culture.
It's been an honor to serve you for 20 years. We do need you more than
ever now. I hate to be the one who always has her hand out, but we still need
readers like you to subscribe to our print and digital editions of the magazine.
Here at curve, we're as tenacious as you are loyal-so we're not shy about
telling you that we'll stick it out as long as you do!
So please, if you don't already subscribe, go to curvemag.com today.
Whether you've been reading the mag for 20 years or hadn't even been born
yet 20 years ago, we're thrilled to have you on team curve!
~
...J
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curvemag.com
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January/February
201011
Features JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2010
26
The Real L Word in Vancouver
Take a tour of the show's locales and swoosh
your way through gay ski weeks. By Ainsley Drew
and Diane Anderson-Minshall
44
20 Greatest Female Guitarists
Our list of 20 musicians with the best finger work.
By Jamie Anderson
46
Lucky in Love
Sultry on-screen and real-life couple Jill Bennett
and Cathy DeBuono discuss their new film, And
Then Came Lola, falling in love and closeted
celebrities. By Rachel Shatto
52
The Indigo Girls Look Back
A retrospective of the duo's musical reign.
By Dave Steinfeld
29
31
32
34
36
38
42
Sex 101
Better Than the G-Spot?
Two sexperts help you find your C-spot.
By Jessica Bain and Yana Tallon-Hicks
Muscle Bound
Five tips for staying strong down there.
By Heather Robinson
46.
Toys for Grown-Ups
Smart sex toys that will tickle your fancy.
By Yana Tallon-Hicks
Need a Stiff One?
She lost the girl, discovered the whiskey.
By Heather Robinson
Dipped in Sugar
Sexy finger food recipes for a special
V-Day. By Vanessa Barrington
12 Great Gifts
Something naughty, something nice.
Trouble on the Set
Filmmaker Courtney Trouble takes
S.F. by storm. By Lori Selke
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Departments JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2010
14
IN EVERY ISSUE
1
6
7
8
12
16
17
18
24
64
Frankly Speaking
15
23
Money: Five tips to help you reach your
§;
potential in the workplace.
:::,
Health: A guide to fighting infertility.
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Relationships: We've all been there,
sister-our collection of breakup stories.
Plus, clever ways to win back the one who
got away.
Letters
Contributors
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Top Ten Reasons We Love ...
Curvatures
Womenfest Key West, remembering Leslie
Leonelli, vampire smackdown and Obama's
in Gaydar.
Celebrity Gossip
Our girl Ellen replaces Paula, Tila files
charges and Drew and Ellen Page
Whip It real good. Plus, we've got
the lesbian gossip on Gossip Girl.
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Music: New tunes from Reina WIiiiams,
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Zorras and Good Asian Drivers. Plus, we
chat with legendary performer Ferron.
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Books: Stories that take us across North
America, and Gina Spriggs' Dirty Laundry.
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Film: A quirky queer comedy, a sexy
late-night short and an interview with
Mississippi Damned director Tina Mabry~
Tech: WET and Bayonetta-sexy new
video game girls you'll want to control.
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Dorsey was named one of this year's "Top 25 to Watch" by Dance
Magazine, a historic breakthrough for transgender visibility-and
for dance. In our exclusive interview he talks about being the first
trans person to receive the prestigious honor.
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Win a FREE L Word DVD
Feeling
theacheof knowing
thatShowtime's
hitlesbianseries,TheL
Word,is over?We'rekeepingtheseriesalivewithupdatesonthenew
realityTVshowfromL Wordproducer
IleneChaikenanda featureonthe
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hookup
fromseasontwo?Sendusyourphoto,alongwitha noteaboutwhoyoulooklike,
yourphonenumberandemailaddress
andwe'llpick5 winners.Eachwinnerwill receivea
copyof TheL Word:TheFinalSeasononDVD(a $60value!).
Sendyourentryto letters@curvemag.com
beforeJan.15,2010.Winnerswill beannounced
byFeb.1.
January/February
2010
I5
LETTERS
Top Chef & Hell's Kitchen Lesbos
Cagney & Lacey Are Back
Dipstick fully retain their
butchness
and femme,
ness even though they
wear matching uniforms.
I especially liked the final
takes where they're both
dressed in worn down tees
and jeans. This really shows
how essential butchness
and femmeness is and how
it goes way beyond clothes.
The Power of Marriage
My partner and I got married
in Vermont last month. We
were tired of waiting for
What are you getting
our home state to get its
your valentine this year?
collective shit together. We've
When'sValentine's
been
together
30 years,
Day?
registered as partners in our
Valentine's
Day
town in 2002 and became
is a sham
domestic partners in our
A mushycard
state in 2007. We encourage
anda backrub
everybody who wants to, and
- Tania Hernandez,
I'm makingdinner
can afford to, to go some,
Montreal, Canada
andshe'sdessert
place where you can marry
I go oldschool:
legally. We did it for our,
Praise for Brownworth
flowers,chocolate
I wane co salute my sis,
selves (it was fun, the family
anda moonlightstroll
who went along had a blast,
cer contributing
editor
A homemade
and Vermonters are very nice
Victoria Brownworch. Her
valentine
piece about domestic vio,
people) and because of the
Demanding Astrological Equality
According
to a curvemag.com
poll
upcoming census-nothing
I love your magazine, and I'm happy there lence among lesbians in
stands up like official docu,
the November issue [Vol.
is finally some more positive coverage
mentation. It's easy co ignore 20,000 same,sex
of bisexuals. However, there seems to be a 19#9) hit (no pun intended) very close to
marriages, 200,000, maybe not.
new group being crash,talked. Every issue the home, as I am sure it did for many readers. In
- Julie Wittrock andJoann Thompson,
horoscope for Leo and Virgo (I'm on the cusp) my early 20s, I was a psychological prisoner
of my girlfriend during a 10,year relation,
reads like we're annoying pushovers who want
Olympia, Wash.
to be spoiled. I thought surely every ocher ship. Whenever I talked about leaving, she
sign has a pro,con, but some are alljust pros. would turn physically violent and hie me. I Corrections
The following are the correct websites for
Make some more pros in the Leo and Virgo reported her to the local queer anci,violence
our "Gift Guide '09" [Vol. 19#10): DiManno
organization just to have a record should
horoscopes!
she hurt any other woman. But, for a very
Designs can be found at dimannodesigns.com;
- Arden Barlow,Windham,N.H.
long time I was too ashamed and humiliated
Carolyn's Kitchen, carolynskicchenonline.com;
and Fuji Enviromax at greenfuji.com.
AstroGrrl Charlene Lichtenstein replies: Life to talk about it with friends or family, or to
isfull of ups and downs and, believeme, no sign report her to the police. I have since written
has the edgewhen it comesto karma. In January and talked about that part of my life. I hope
Sendlettersto: curve magazine
2009, I sawgreatsexfor Leo and strongrelation, other survivors of lesbian domestic violence
1550BryantSt.,Ste.510SanFrancisco,
CA94103
shipsfor Virgo while it was Gemini who needed will also feel empowered by Brownworth's
EMAIL:
letters@curvemag.com
FAX:415-863-1609
to worry about compromisingphotos and Pisces article and know they are not alone.
GOTO:curvemag.com/letters
Poll
28%
20%
19%
14%
12%
7%
who had bad intuition. In May, Leos couldfind - Stephanie Schroeder,Brooklyn, N.Y.
lovein exoticplacesand Virgohadgreatpowersof ~-----------------_.__
_____________
persuasion,while Sagittariuswas warned about
stress at work. In June I saw that Leos would
We Still \' the Indigo Girls
be corporatepowerhouses,which is great news.
Twenty years ago, when curve was just starting, the Indigo
That same month Virgo couldturn on the sugar
Girls were the virtual soundtrack to lesbian life. In the '80s,
and spice. Did you? Please let me know if you
I watched them playing New Orleans' French Quarter (Emily
ever want to talk-astrology, not trash.
Lipstick and Dipstick Love
I'm the greatest fan of Lipstick and Dipstick.
I like to show the column to my straight
girlfriends as an example of the complexity
and multiple points of view of the lesbian
community. It's great. Also, I just watched the
"Pining in Portland" video on curvemag.com
and I find it amazing how Lipstick and
6
I
curve
if'":'~1!1111:mi=_,._
Saliers was a Tulane classmate and Amy Ray would come visit
her at school), just two gay girls with guitars and a knack for
speaking to the heart of our reality. Their 1987 debut made them
lesbian legends. By the time we landed a '90s interview we were
all fans. They were among the earliest celebs to grace our cover,
all but selling out. We could have put them in every issue and readers would have
never been bored. In honor of 20 years shared with the band, we talked to the Girls
about life then and now, from their seminal work to their recent album, Poseidon
and the Bitter Bug, and their new DVD set Live at the Roxy. [DAM]
CONTRIBUTORS
From the Editor
Remember those
"You know life ain't so bad when it's part of your job is to test
arousal products;' muses former editorial assistant FrancesYee,
who helped put together our "Pour Some Sugar on Me" section
(page 29)."And the funniest thing is that anyone who knows me
is not at all surprised by this fact:' A Cal Poly San Luis Obispo
graduate, Yee spends her days hoarding journals, writing letters
to friends, dreaming of sushi and practicing yoga. A professional
heckler by trade, Yee loves nothing more than striking up
conversations with perfect strangers. 'Tm never more myself
than when I connect with someone who has never met me-that's
me at my best:' In the
midst of figuring out her next venture in life, Yee couldn't be happier to continue writing and
trying out various "test units" for curve.
treasure hunts
you loved as a Girl
Scout? Well, the
Curvettes had one
at our annual retreat
this winter, replete
with hidden clues,
water bucket races
(insert wet tee jokes
here), marshmallow
engineering challenges and team
"I realize I'm not exactly the typical curve writer;' says Dave
Steinfeld,
who is neither female nor gay."But I wear my contributor
status as a badge of honor:' Steinfeld has been writing for curve
since 2007 and he interviewed the Indigo Girls for this issue
(page 52). "I had heard that Amy Ray and Emily Saliers were nice
people, but I wasn't prepared for just how warm they were;' he says.
Steinfeld has written about music for American Songwriter, Beyond
Race, Death + Taxes, Elmore, Essence, Sing Out!, The San Diego
Union-Tribune and all the major radio networks. He grew up in small-town Connecticut, left
as soon as he could and is currently based in New York City.
efforts to collage mock magazine
covers (see the glue stick results
below). It's rare for us to take a
day of rest, but even publishing
vixens need some navel-gazing
to prep for a new year. We've
got tons of great stuff planned for
the magazine this year, including
bigger celebrity interviews, travel
articles that take you around the
Contributing writer VanessaBarringtonis a cookbook author and
sustainable food blogger. She solidified her status as a finger food
z
guru when she crafted the menu for a sensual Valentine's Day meal
~z
for this issue (page 36). She co-authored the book Heirloom Beans:
cc
Great Recipesfor Dips and Spreads, Soups and Stews, Salads and Salsa,
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and
Much More from Rancho Gordo ( chroniclebooks.com). Her
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book, DIY Delicious: Recipes and Ideas for Simple Food From
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Scratch will be published by Chronicle this fall. She biogs at vanessaz
~ barrington.typepad.com, civileats.com and ecosalon.com.
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globe, more underground
investigative features, huge
spreads on weddings and
family and more.
Better yet, you
can find us more
places this year.
Our newest home:
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"Most porn is so tired-it's the same old thing, over and over.
But talking to Courtney Trouble managed to get me excited
about it again," says contributing writer Lori Selke, who
interviewed the queer porn director for her article "Trouble
With a Capital T" (page 42). Selke has also masqueraded as
a reviewer for AVN, Adult DVD Empire and On Our Backs.
"Courtney is thoughtful and playful at the same time, and the
results on the screen are fantastic. I hope she goes far. I hope she changes things up forever:'
Selke even got to be an extra on the set of Trouble's film Nostalgia."So much for objectivity!"
When she's not writing erotica for anthologies such as Women of the Bite and Girl Crush,
she's at home in Oakland, Calf., cooking and raising her 1-year-old twin daughters. Selke
also had a brush last summer with Fox News notoriety as the co-curator of the spoken word
show Perverts Put Out.
at Los Angeles International
Airport. Yeah, that's right, no need
to settle when you go through
LAX; pick us up in one of five
different terminals and show the
whole plane you're a Curvette, too.
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Editor in Chief
January/February
2010
I7
curvatures
Dispatches From Womenfest
Known as a super gay-friendly destination, Key
West, Fla., is home to blocks of gay bars and shops
that proudly unfurl their rainbow flags every autumn
for Womenfest weekend. Womenfest started over
20 years ago, but according to the event's promoter,
Rebecca Tomlinson, "It's taken several shapes and
passed through lots of hands:' Womenfest 2009
stood out as the biggest one yet, attracting a record
number of sponsors and drawing women from all
over the world.
McGillisandGless~
(right)at Womenfest
"We have two different crowds;' explains
Tomlinson. "We attract a 40-plus crowd that flies in
from all over and stays for the duration ofWomenfest.
Then we have a secondary, 25-plus, weekend crowd
that drives down from South Florida. Some want to
party hard in Key West's infamous bar scene, and
some are looking to explore Key West's unique
culture:' The beauty of Womenfest, is that there is
plenty to entertain both crowds.
Last year's Womenfest was literally star-studded,
with actors Kelly McGillis and Sharon Gless in
attendance. "Both of them were so generous with
their time and their willingness to be accessible to
the women who wanted to meet them and talk to
them;' says Tomlinson. "Kelly absolutely blew me
away at the Womenfest luncheon. She told a very
moving and personal story about her life, the pain
and havoc of alcoholism during her years of living in
Key West, her choice to get sober and rebuild her life
and her career. When the mayor gave Kelly the key
to the city, there was not a dry eye in the house. Her
message was second chances, and who hasn't needed
that at some pointt
Comic Dana Goldberg performed two sold-
out stand-up comedy nights and, says Tomlinson,
there were also "great performers and musiciansevery venue had amazing DJs and musicians:' Other
revelry included live music at Cowboy Bill's, where
girls ride the mechanical bull to compete for cash
prizes (yes, some go topless), pool parties at Pearl's
Rainbow resort (where there was an Itsy Bitsy Teeny
Weeny Bikini Contest) and the famed annual Beach
Blanket Babe and Beach Blanket Butch contest at
the Southernmost Hotel.
"Women tell us that they choose Womenfest
because they are intrigued with the location and they
love the idea of getting together with other women
in an open environment;' explains Tomlinson. "I
think it's easy to underestimate the importance of
the message that Womenfest Key West is sending
to the world: Be yourself. Have fun. It's all good:'
[JenniferCorday]
GOTACKLE
LESBIANS,
TOO
Can'twait untilnextSeptember?
HitKeyWestfor
the 19thAnnualKellyMcGillisClassicInternational
Women's& GirlsFlagFootballChampionship,
February
7-15, wherewomenof all ages,racesand
nationalities-anda wholelot of lesbians-compete.
YoumightseeMcGillisthere,too.(iwffa.com)
ls she the
ultimate
WMD?
Further proof that
blogger Denmark Vesey
just doesn't get us. Just
a portion of his blog on
lesbian actor Skyler
Cooper (above}:
"I see the subversive
agenda here is to further
emasculate white men
and replace them with
black lesbians now. And
of course, homosexuality
is the ultimate WMD
against breeding and
the family. Making
lesbians chic thus helps
to reduce breeding ... as
well as further Balkanize
society into individuals
with no family structure."
January/February
2010
I9
the rundown
Do a state's laws around marriage
influence your willingness to live
and work there? The2009Out& Equal
Workplace
Surveyfound that 71 percent
of LGBT adults would prefer a job based
in a state where same-sex marriage is
legaL..If you're part of that majority, Iowa
wants to recruit you. The state sent representatives to GayDaysat the Disneyland
Resort in California to promote Iowa's
image ... Upset about Chicago losing the
2016 Olympics:' Midwestern girl jocks
can celebrate. Cleveland
has scored the
honor of hosting the 2014GayGames.
~
The games will bring
up to 50,000 to
70,000 people, who
will pour an estimated
$60 million into the
local economy ... In
the Big Sky State:
MichelleKulstad
will retain parental rights
over her former partner BarbaraManiaci's
two adopted children-who
she helped
to parent. "Maniaci cannot rewrite the
history of the fact that she and Kulstad
lived together for more than 10 years
and jointly raised the minor children in
the same household;' said JusticeBrian
Morrisof the Montana Supreme Court ...
In protest of the HumanRightsCampaign,
the group Queers
AgainstAssimilation
"glamdalized" the national organization's
office in Washington D.C. using pink
and black paint as well as glitter grenades,
and writing "Quit leaving queers behind"
on the entrance ... If you're looking for a
new lesbian celebrity to crush on, check
out MarietteHansson,
a contestant on this
year's Swedenldol... For
all of us still mourning
the loss of TheL Word,it
might help to know that
Katherine
Moenning,
now
staring on Three Rivers,
confessed to the Los
Angeles Times that she
also misses everyone's
favorite bad girl. "The
beauty of that character
was her unabashed way of viewing life.
She was so unapologetic ... I loved the
debauchery that she created in her life:'
[Sassafras
Lowrey]
10
I curve
Remembering Leslie Leonelli
After arriving in Key West, Fla., in 2000,
Leslie Leonelli made a huge impact on the
small, picturesque city, and her death on
September 24, 2009, from lung cancer leaves
a void not easily filled. She was 61.
To the area's lesbian visitors, Leonelli,
along with Heather Carruthers, are best
known as the co-owners of Pearl's Rainbow
resort. They turned historic buildings, pools,
hot tubs and decks into a lesbian oasis and
the center of lesbian life in Key West.
Denise Warner of My Lesbian Radio
met Leonelli during one of the many special
events at the resort. "We have worked with
Pearl's for the last four years to do their
annual Womenfest events and Leslie was
so accommodating;' she says. "She was such
a part of the Pearl's experience. Pearl's ... and
Key West ... won't be the same:•
After college, Leonelli began a performing arts career in regional theater, moving
to New York City in 1973. She worked
off-Broadway and was the production stage
manager for the City Center Young People's
Theater.
A flute player, Leonelli was a founding
member of Ars Pro Femina, a New York
women's production company. She founded
and sang in the Stonewall Chorale, one of
The Gaydar
Here's a taste of lesbians in pop culture this month.
Who missed the mark and who was right on target?
CharllzeIs Gayfor
PayOneluckywoman
won an impromptu&
unforgettable20-second
liplockwith Theronat an
auctionfor OnexOne.
pl Mom!Lesbo
rgis banned
for wearing
"She'snot a
I
•••911111""11a•
..
,-t--
----,&....-
An Endto Hate
CrimesPresident
Obamasigneda
federalhatecrimes
law & lifted the HIV+
visitors ban.Don't
forget DODTand
marriageequality!
-----1----
Oh,Tyra!Oneday
it's straightgirls who
crushon lesbians,the
next it's hilariousantigayexorcisms.We're
not smizing,girl.
ByeByeBujuReggaestar BujuBanton,
whosehomophobicsong"BoomByeBye"
promotesviolenceagainstgay men,was
shut downby protestors.
II
AnnaNicoleSmith
Judgesaysthe
playmate'salleged
affair with her lady
doc is "irrelevant."
Notto us.
the country's first gay and lesbian choruses. In
December, the Chorale dedicated a concert to
her memory.
"I met Leslie in the Stonewall Chorale 27
years ago;' says Carruthers, who, in addition
to being her business partner, was once her
companion. "The labels for our relationship
may have changed over the years, but our
genuine affection, respect and concern for
each other never did. She was honest, forthright and very, very funny:'
Women's health issues were also important to Leonelli. "As our longest running
W omanKind board president, Leslie gave
enormously of her resources, time, energy
and ideas;' says Betsy Langan, director of
WomanKind, a health care and health education organization in the Florida keys.
At her Key West memorial service, her
friend Wendy Carlisle said, "She was many
things to many people. To some she was their
boss, their hostess, colleague, mentor, sister
or daughter. But regardless of our connection to Leslie, she was a friend to each of us.
And it was my honor and privilege to call
her my best friend:'
Leonelli is survived by her mother and
brother. [EdieStull]
What's the best and worst part of being a sudden celesbian?
Suzanne
(above)
questions
Briana
Bloodsucker Smackdown
With everybody falling under Twilight's spell, it's the perfect time for a queer
response to the vampire mythos with Laura Beth Caldwell's Perpetual Care.
Just how does this epic tale measure up to Twilight? [BrianaHernandez]
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GHOULISH
SETTING Charming,sticky Savannah,Ga.
Vampiresliterally SPFREQUIREMENTSDeathby spontaneous
glitter in the sun
combustion
Practicallypuritan
oh-so-heteroabstinenceporn
VAMPIRELOVE
There'sred-hot lesbolust
aplenty
Youmaysheda few, but only if
you're PMSing
SOB-O-METER
Thinktoddler with a skinned
knee.Full on wailing
Funniest Joke from
a Show You Missed
When comic Amy Beckerman (above
left) took the stage at Dykes on Mies,
the comedy klatch she and Leah
Dubie (above) founded and continue to
produce in New York City, you could
barely hear her banter above all the
laughing. The reason? Beckerman's
joke about losing 90 pounds last year
via Lap Band surgery. "Basically, if
you eat too much you throw up. It's
like socially acceptable bulimia. I'm in
the bathroom throwing up, my friends
are knocking on the door ... 'Are you
OK?' I'm like, 'I've got a prescription
for this. Totally fine.' "
The hardest part? Coming out about
it to her Jewish family. "My grandmother's old, but I felt like I had to
tell her. I sat her down and I was like,
'Grandma I'm going to do something
for myself that benefits me. It's going
to make me feel good.' She's like, 'Oh,
are you having a sex change?' "
Beckerman laughs. "I don't really
want to get rid of it-I just want to be
able to see it! And I told my mother ...
and she's like, 'When you're thin, are
you going to go back to dating men?'
Right, because the less carbs I eat,
the more dicks I crave.'"
Today, in addition to Dykes on Mies
(a bi-weekly show at NYC's Comix
Comedy Club), Beckerman and Dubie
have a new monthly show at Joker's
Wild in New Haven, Conn., and they're
producing the latest must-see event
for East Coasters: the topless comedy
show Generosi-titties on March 10,
which will benefit the Young Survivor
Coalition, a group that supports
women under 40 who have cancer.
(dykesonmieseomedy.eom)
January/February
2010 \ 11
ADVICE Lipstick & Dipstick
How to Rekindlethe SQark
DearLipstickandDipstick:My girlfriendand I
havebeentogetherfor two years.Thingswere
greatfor a while,butthe lastfourmonthshave
beenhell.We can't get along.I don'twant to
breakup becauseshemeansthe worldto me.
Shefeelsthe sameway.Howcanwe get back
the sparkandfriendship
that drewus together
in thebeginning?
- Sparkless
in Seattle
Lipstick:Is one of you perimenopausal? Are
your fights over petty, nonsensical issues? Do
you find yourself crying on the back porch
or in your car, unable to remember what you
were fighting about?
Dipstick:Perimenopause? Lipstick, she didn't
say anything about hormones! These girls
could be 25, for all we know.
Lipstick:Well, I'm surmising here, but this is
a topical issue for every woman-throw
two
of us together and wooooeee! If hormones
are the culprit, you're in luck; there are many
effective ways to manage them. Chinese herbs
are great and can help calm those ovaries
(which begin cartwheeling, on average, at 51).
Also, progesterone cream cultivated from
wild yam is a great, natural aid to smooth the
rough edges as your body changes.
Dipstick: Lipstick, I think
you're hormonal, or maybe
just crazy. Forget dim sum and
yams, we need to know what
the girls are fighting about.
Did someone have an affair,
or is one person suddenly
not doing her share of the litter
box cleaning? Or have you just
fallen into a pattern you can't
get yourselves out of? If so, you
need to break it, and fast. The
next time your partner pisses
you off, don't swallow your
anger, but do bite your tongue.
The goal is not to win the fight,
but to save the relationship.
Try to hear the truth behind
those angry words. You'll be
surprised by how much rela~
tionship mending occurs just
by listening.
to sayI knewthatbeforewe movedin together.
I foolishlyhopedmovingin wouldmakeit all
better.Thequestionis, what do I do now?We
decided,aftera lotof dramaandtears,thatwe
still want to be together,but that we needto
slowdown,whichmeansher movingout. Do
I just needto givehertime,or is thisthe slow
pathto an unavoidable
breakup?AmI lyingto
myselfor just delusionalfor thinkingthis can
stillworkout?- TooSoonto Tell
Lipstick:Not at all. In fact, this is the brave
thing to do-i£ of course, both of you are
being honest.
Dipstick:Lip, I don't think Too Soon to Tell
is being honest. She acknowledges that she
moved too fast, yet says she'd marry her girl~
friend tomorrow.
Lipstick:It's possible to feel these things
concurrently. Too Soon, your girlfriend is
probably feeling suffocated, so in addition to
you shaking up your living situation, keep
your personal focus off her for a while and
on other things in your life-work, hobbies,
friends, sports. Don't be naggy about where
she's at and who she's with or insecure about
her not sleeping over. Be absorbed in you
while the puncture wounds heal, and show
her that you're strong without her. This will
alleviate the smother and keep her knocking
on your door.
Dipstick:
Lipstick is right-if there's one thing
we queers know how to do, it's form non~
traditional relationships. Some good friends
of mine have been together for 10 years, but
discovered early on that they couldn't live
together. I suggest you open your worldview
wider than the meet, fall in love, move in, get
married, have kids, yada, yada. Backpack the
Pacific Crest Trail. Join an ashram. Start a
lesbian street fighting club. Whatever you do,
don't box this beauty in. Loosen the tether if
you want it to last.
Dear Lipstickand Dipstick:I
z<{
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~
butfailedto takeyouradvice.My
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girlfriend
andI datedforlessthan
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(!)
five monthsbeforewe movedin
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together,
andsufficeit to say,we
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wasn'treadyyet,and,if I wereto DearLipstickand Dipstick:I am a 21-year-old a
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be honestwith myself,I'd have lesbianwho attendscollege.I havea problem ~ w
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12 j curve
withmystraight,
coupled
friendswhoaretrying
togetmeto havethreesomes
withthem.I always
declineandexplainthatI donotsleepwithmen.
Oneof thesecoupleswasprettyhorribleto me,
andforcedmeto havea threesome
whenI was
drunk.I feel reallysick aboutit and won't be
alonewith themanymore.I feel like it was my
faultfor gettingthat drunk.Schoolis starting
soonandI am movingin with anotherstraight
couple,whoI thoughtwereprudes.Turnsout,
they tried to sleepwith a mutualsingle,bisexualfriend.Theyalsotoldthisfriendthatthey
think I'm hot. After hearingthis, I am really
worried.I feel unsafearoundstraightcouples
now.I feel liketheyonlywantmefor onething.
Thesenew roommatesare respectfulthough,
and I hopethey aren't out to hurt me. What
shouldI doif theywantmeto sleepwiththem?
HowcanI declinewithoutgettingthrownoutof
thehouse?
- Threatened
bya Threesome
Dipstick:First of all, you were not at fault for
the sexual assault by the other couple! It does
not matter how much you drank. Rape is
rape. You should immediately contact a rape
crisis center or women's center on campus and
get support. What these people did to you
was wrong and illegal. You should get advice
about pressing charges. Second, your home
is your sanctuary and you need to feel safe
there. If you're getting any vibe at all that this
couple wants you to sleep with them, then do
not feel any guilt about finding a new place
to live. If they ask you, you should firmly say
no, you' re not into that kind of thing, and
even if you were, you wouldn't do it with
roommates. If they don't respect that, then
move out right away. Please, go talk to a trained
professional about what happened to you. You
did nothing wrong. No man or woman should
force themselves on anyone, ever.
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Lipstick:
Beyond getting help, Threatened, be
careful about putting yourself in vulnerable
situations. Straight couples are not allpredators,
so try to stop seeing them that way. Sure,
there are lecherous pairs trolling the dark
corners of lesbian bars, but they're usually
looking for a "willing" third. My advice is to
curb the drinking and set clear boundaries.
Let them know you're not the menage a trios
type and ask them to stay on their side of the
apartment. If they still try to push it, find a
TENBESTFIRSTDATES
LIPSTICK
DIPSTICK
O Builda Snowman.
Andhavehotfondue
to follow.Fewthingsaremoreromantic
thanplayingin thesnowwithsomeone
you
fancyandthenwarmingupafterwards.
0 LedZeppelin
Tribute
Band.Preferably
all female.
8 JazzConcert.Preferably
a femaleper-
former,andgraba lightbiteafterwards.
8 PotteryClass.DidyouseeGhost?Need
I saymore?
O Teppanyaki.
Sake,baby.Andtheway
theycookthefoodonthe ironslaterightin
frontof youis a greaticebreaker.
0 WineTasting.Wineis a greatlubricant
andthe discussions
aboutwine-its making,takingandswishingaroundin your
mouth-makes for a "full-bodied"and
sexyconversation.
homo to shack up with. Gay men keep things
fastidiously clean and will make sure you're a
daily fashion statement.
Jazzis tooheadyand
shoutingoverthe musicis
rudein a fancynightclub.
& DogPark.Howshe
dealswiththe poopis a goodindicatorof
hersturdiness.
0 Couples
Counseling.
Costsaboutthe
sameasa dinnerout.
0 Nachos.If thingsgo
well,youcanlickthe
greaseoff herfingers.
t!!>Fishing.Shewon't
wonderif thesmell
is comingfromyou.
in the past? That said, there are also many
wonderful women who embrace their bisexuality. You say you know the stereotypes
are crap, but they're clearly ingrained in your
psyche. The only way to change that is to
stop being afraid of her and the word. A dyke
could leave you for another woman just as
fast as a bi woman could leave you for a man.
Four important things to consider when contemplating taking this relationship to another
level are: Is she ready? Are you? Is she secure
in herself and in the kitchen? How flexible is
she physically-can she do splits?
DearLipstickand Dipstick:I havebeenin the
onlinedating"game"for the lastseveralyears
andmetsomeonewho I find attractive,intelligentandfunny.Thewebsitedoesn'tdistinguish
betweenlesbiansandbisexuals
unlessyouput
it in yourprofile.WhenI was on the thirddate
with a girlfromthe site,shewouldnotspecify
thatsheis bisexualbutsaidthat sheis "onthe
fence."I knowthat all the stereotypes
about
bisexualwomenare crap,butwhy doesit still
Dipstick:Why are you really turned off?
turnmeoff?- Scaredin Saskatchewan
Because she's bi or because she's on the fence?
Lipstick:
I was on the fence once. It was senior
Perhaps you just want someone who is secure
year in high school and we were doing a prank
in who she is. If this gal is coming out, she
on campus the week of graduation. My skirt
needs someone more compassionate than
you. If she's bi, she deserves someone more
caught on the chain link when I was running
open-minded. Dating may be a game to you,
from the police.
but you're messing with the feelings of real
women here. While you're online, browsing
Dipstick:Seriously, Lipstick?
the personals, check out pflag.org for info on
Lipstick:Yep. It was terrifying and I ruined
biphobia busting. ■
my favorite boucle skirt. Saskatchewan,
perhaps your "fenced" lover is scared, too?
Tune in to curvemag.com/
Many women get stuck there on their way to
lipstickanddipstick
to watch
Lezziland, and there are a lot of reasons why.
the The Lipstick & Dipstick
Society's view of homosexuality? Religious
Show. Or, writeto tv@
trappings? The fact that she's been with men
lipstickdipstick.com.
January/February
2010 j 13
ADVICE Money
What a Way_to Make a Living
Five tips to reach your career potential. By Ariel Messman-Rucker
3. Don't let anyonetell you being gay is a
disadvantage.Being a lesbian in a straight
world can feel like a burden, but if you want
to succeed in life and in your career, you
need to learn how to use your community to
your advantage. "You can only tell one story,
so what story do you want to tell?" Keehn
asks. "Do you want to tell the story of how
you're going to take who you are and all of
the positives and work with your community
and build those networks ... or continue to
find these troglodytes, these rednecks, these
people who will never understand a woman
working, let alone a lesbian? Neanderthals
walk amongst us, so you just have to walk
down a different street:'
Kelley Keehn (left) is a finan~
cial expert who has written
six books, traveled around the
country to speak and is a regular expert on
CNBC. Her most recent book, She Inc., A
Woman's Guide to Maximizing Your Career
Potential, (insomniacpress.com)
teaches
women how to begin working toward· career
success by breaking down important finan~
cial jargon, making it more understandable
and accessible. Here are Keehn's top five tips
for living up to your potential, getting your
dream job and making more money.
1. Be your own corporation.The most
important thing for you to do, and the
simplest, is to begin thinking of yourself as
a corporation. "There are really only two ways
to survive, and that is to either cut expenses or
increase income, and when you ask those two
questions and think of yourself as a company,
all of a sudden, magical things can happen;'
Keehn says. "Maybe someone is a carpenter
and they're like, are you kidding me? How
is thinking as a corporation going to help
me? Well, maybe you've also always wanted
to be on TV and you take some side acting
classes, and start branding yoursel£ I know
two people who did exactly that and have TV
shows on HGTV."
14
I curve
2. Knowyourworth.According to Keehn, most
women are "notoriously bad at taking care of
themselves;' and part of the reason is that
they don't acknowledge their value or their
earning power. "I like women to understand
what their potential worth is. If you sit down
and do the calculations, if you only earned
$30,000 a year from the time you were 18 to
65, which is well below the median ... you will
have earned over $1.4 million;' she says."If you
really did have an investment that was worth
that much money you would take really good
care of it, right? Well, you're worth that:'
of LGBTindividuals
nottotallyout
O¾
5~ 0 atarework
WHOIS TOTALLY
OUTATWORK?
SOURCE:
HRC
4. Study up in your down time. Finding a
person with experience to help you reach
your potential, land your dream job and
increase your salary can be invaluable,
but few professionals these days have the
time to be a mentor. Keehn's solution? Go
to the library or bookstore and check out
books written by experts in any field you're
interested in. "You can find the best mentors
in the world and have them at your beck and
call;' she says. Even if you can't sit down and
read a book, get a book on CD and listen
while you're commuting or cleaning the
house. "One thing I can say has served me
beyond any return, is to take your down
time and to turn that into learning:'
5. Getout of that rut and try somethingnew.
Broaden your horizons by promising yourself
you will try something new every day-and
then follow through. Keehn says that when
you do this, you get to know yourself and you
may find hidden talents you never knew you
had. "I can absolutely say that any success ...
that I have had is because every single day I
challenge myself to do something different
that challenges the core of who I think
I am;' she says. "Trust me, I wouldn't be
doing anything I'm doing today without this
concept. I never intended to be an author or
do anything I'm doing right now:' ■
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Health ADVICE
FIVETIPSTOFIGHTINFERTILITY
// The Infertility
"I alwayslovedsuperheroesthat werewomen,and
thereweren'tenoughof them," PatriceBehrend
saysof the tongue-in-cheekconceptbehindher
fertility mascot,the InfertilityWarrior(infertilitywarrior.com).Behrendis a fertility activistand
the founderof Life Medals,a jewelrycompany
shestartedafter goingthroughfertility treatmentsherself.Behrend,who is alsoa cancer
survivor,designeda characterin orderto inspire
andempowerwomenstrugglingwith infertility.
Behrend'sInfertilityWarrioris "neithersuper-skinnynor super-buff,"
andshewieldsa syringe"in honorof all the injectionsinvolvedwith
infertility procedures-turning aroundsomethingpainfulinto a
weaponof empowerment."
AlthoughBehrendis straight,whenshechoseto pursueparenthoodas a single-mom-to-be,shesaysthat shefounda greatdealof
camaraderiewith her lesbianfriends."I rememberthe kinshipI felt,"
sheexplains,"becausea lot of the processis so similar."Behrend
saysthat determinationis keyto anyone'sstrugglewith infertility.
"Justbecauseit's harder[for you]to be a momdoesn'tmeanyou
shouldn'tbe one.Don'tlet infertility beatyou."Righteousangeris one
aspectof Behrend'sfightingattitude,but shealsosaysnot to neglect
the healingpowerof humor,either.Finally,sheis happyto notethat
after 13 procedures,shebecamepregnantand,at presstime, was
dueto givebirth to herfirst child in November2009.Forthoselooking
to be,but are not yet, in the familyway,Behrendofferssomeadvice.
a
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0
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t1
s
k
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:i
1. InterviewDoctorsDon'tbe afraidto lookfor a newpractitionerif
you'renot happywith the oneyouhave.Remember,
youare paying
for a service,so you'rein charge.If youandyourdoctorare not on the
samepagefor anyreason,find a newone.
e
0
.t
Warrior shares her top strategies.
2. BeAwareThatTreatment
Involves
Educated
Guessing~
Practitionerscan't knowfor surehowyourbodyis going
to reactto the medicationsandproceduresthat are
;,,
part of treatinginfertility."Thereare so manydifferent
factors,"notesBehrend.Thisis onereasonwhythe treatmentscan be so time-consumingandexpensive.If youknow
whatto expect,though,the processcan be easier.
3. Talkto OtherWomen"Ignorancehurts,emotionally,"says
Behrend.Onceyouopenup aboutyourownstruggle,youwill
be surprisedhow manyotherwomenhavedealtwith their
own infertility issues.Behrendpointsout that in America,
1 millionwomenseekout the helpof fertility specialists
everyyear.Andthat numberis conservative-expertsestimatethat 5
to 7 millionwomena yearwrestlewith an infertility diagnosis.
4. Consider
theThreeStructures
of InfertilityBarriersto fertility
can be physical,emotionalandfinancial.Thefactorsthat youfind
stressfulandthe onesyourpartnerfinds stressfulmightbe different,
andthey mightchangeovertime. If youhavea partner,be sureto
checkin anddevelopcopingstrategiesfor eachissueaffectingyou,
andbe sureto find the supportyouneed.
5. BeOpen-Minded
andFlexibleThereare manythingsto consider
on the wayto becominga parent:Whowill carrythe child?Whowill
donatethe sperm?Will you look into eggdonationor adoption?When
youthink abouttheseas optionsinsteadof barriers,the question
becomesnot if, but howandwhen."It was very comfortingto meto
havea planB," recallsBehrend.Shealsojokesthat "shoppingfor
spermwas oneof the moreempoweringthings" aboutthe processfor
her."It was kind of fun!" [LoriSelke]
e
:i
:i
Baby Talk
tl
17%
An inclusive fertility book talks about your options.
e
e
e
Infertility can be confusing and
emotionally devastating. In her
book Navigating the Land of IF
(sealpress.com), Melissa Ford
guides you through the process
of diagnosis, discussing treatment options, pregnancy loss
0
and more.
a:
Ford is careful to use the
~
0
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terms "partner" and "spouse"
0
LL
and she devotes space to
<(
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fertility issues unique to the
I
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cf a welcome alternative to most
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solace in the information the
book provides about our rights
and how to deal with judgmental
clinics and doctors.
Navigating the Land of IF is
written like a travel guide, with
chapters titled "Planning your
Itinerary," "A Walking Tour of
Treatments" and "Pack Your
Bags: Achieving Pregnancy."
Though the book covers
complex information, it is
never a trial to read. Not only
does Ford break down all the
complicated medical jargon into
easily digestible sections, she
also covers the many options
for dealing
with infertility, from
in vitro
fertilization
to adoption and
even deciding to live "child
free." With sidebars and tips
scattered throughout, the book
gives concrete solutions to the
emotional roller coaster that can
accompany fertility struggles. A
must-read for anyone struggling
with infertility or close to someone dealing with these issues.
[ArielMessman-Rucker]
umberof clinic
directors who
said they would
denytreatment to
a lesbiancouple,
accordingto
Navigatingthe
Land of /Fby
MelissaFord
RESOURCE
TheAmericanFertilityAssociationprovidesa state-by-statedatabaseof care providers,egg and sperm donation
agencies,adoptionagencies,lawyers,pharmacistsand other professionalscommittedto servingthe LGBTcommunity.(theafa.org)
January/February
2010
I 15
ASTROGRRL
Turnup the Heat
How to keep warm during those long, cold nights. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Capricorn
(Dec.23-Jan.20)
Sex:Spoil her with lavish gifts all through the winter.
You will be surprised at how high the temperature
will rise. Is it hot in here or is it you? Career:People
in power help to influence your bosses. Be suitably
grateful or risk losing your gains to the next very
grateful candidate.
Cancer(June22-July23)
Sex:Hot steamed crab is the dish du jour. Put yourself
on the menu and see who comes to feast. Be sure you
have a pound of melted butter nearby. Career:If you
are waiting for a raise, you are in luck! But don't spend
it yet. After taxes, it won't pay for all that dreaming
and planning.
Aquarius
(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Sex:You attract any woman you want without really
trying. Imagine who you could attract if you really
tried. So try, try again! Career:Business partners seem
to step on your toes. Before you do something you will
regret, turn your attention to other relationships and
do something you won't.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Sex:Lionesses on the prowl can bag their quarry
now. If you have found your mate, spoil her with a
roaring good time. Career:
You chew up the scenery in
any large corporate event and demand all the attention. Are you too good to be true? You are certainly
too something.
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Sex:Your secret admirer makes herself known to you.
Now that you know, maybe there are some things
Motheralwayssaysthat it's that you would prefer to keep secret. Career:Guppies
betterto fall in lovewitha rich shoulder too much responsibility at work. My advice is
womanthana poorone.Lesbian to find an able-bodied lady to work under you and help
Capricorns
takethis motherly process the stress. Is that what they call it nowadays?
adviceto heartandspenda good
portionof theiryouthsearching Aries(March21-April20)
for a well-endowed
babe(ah,but Sex:You have an overabundance of romantic possibildon'twe all)or onewhois well- ities. Some of these lovely ladies take your focus
connected
andpowerful.
As ripe away from work and interfere with your job. Uh,
oldagesettlesin, Cap.dykesmay
is this a problem? Career:You can do no wrong in
betemptedbya pieceof delicious
your professional pursuits and have mastered a way to
armcandy,butthis is onlyif her
sweettoothis notfullysatisfiedat cover your mistakes. But watch where you point that
home.Giveherplentyof sugar guilty finger, honey.
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Sex:Concentrating on exercise can lead to amours
at the gym. That is good as long as they don't lead to
athletic aromas. Career:Don't let the back stabbers
turn you into a pincushion, but also don't overreact.
Keep your girlfriends close and your frenemies closer.
Hmm, who knows what could develop?
Libra(Sept.24-0ct.23)
Sex:Party hearty this winter and spread your wings.
And that shouldn't be the only thing you spread,
honey. Remember-you
can never be too thin or
too sweet. Career:Avoid asking career advice of gal
pals now. They might lead you into unintentionally
reckless action. Burning down the conference room
is definitely inadvisable.
andshe'llneverstray.
Taurus(April21-May21)
Sex:Your domestic agenda moves to the top of your
"to do" list. Decisions must be made. Will it be "I do"
or "do I" 2 Career:
A high-ranking woman takes a fancy
to you. Give your fancy right back to her and see how
fancy-schmancy the two of you can become.
Scorpio
(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Sex:Love liaisons are even lovelier at home. Spruce up
your space with romantic touches and find any excuse
to lure her to your lair. Career:Your career accelerates
on all four engines. How fast and far can you go before
you run out of gas? Let's just see...
Gemini(May22-June21)
AstrologerCharlene Sex:Your secret thoughts manage to leak out and
Lichtensteinis the make their way into cyberspace. Now she knows!
authorof Herscopes: You might as well dive in over your head go with the
A Guideto Astrology flow. Career:You are apt to say one thing more than
for Lesbians.And out what's you should at work and that bugs the bosses. When in
in store for you this year at doubt, think your evil thoughts but let your actions be
thestarryeye.com.
angelic-until the spring.
Sagittarius
(Nov.23-Dec.22)
Sex:Send your love notes by special delivery. Make
your intentions known with a certain special someone.
Will she respond accordingly? Stop talking and listen.
Career:Business travel sounds like fun at first but the
novelty soon wears of£ So try to find some novelties
on your travels that will send her around the world
when you get back home. ■
16
I curve
s
I TRIEDIT
Get YourGrub On
One lesbian delights in crunchy creepy-crawlies. Story and photos by Mary McGrath
Adventure writer that I am, I've always
been curious to try the unusual, and this
pertains to dining as well. I've sampled cuisine
from around the world, so when I heard
about the growing entomophagy-or
bug
eating-movement
in the United States, I
decided that it was time to try some insects
and grubs.
My friends are in awe, amazed that I would
even consider such an undertaking. I'm sure
they programmed 911 into their phones
when I announced I was going to a restaurant
near Los Angeles to test my courage.
In many cultures, eating bugs is a nobrainer. Today, insects remain a traditional
food throughout many countries in Africa,
Asia and Latin America. The Japanese favor
aquatic fly larvae sauteed in soy sauce and
ginger. In Bali, they rave about dewinged
dragonflies boiled in coconut milk with
ginger and garlic. In Ghana, winged termites
are often consumed during the spring rains.
They're either fried, roasted or incorporated
into bread. In South Africa, termites are
added to cornmeal porridge. Fire-roasted
tarantulas are common in Latin America;
and who hasn't considered eating the agave
worm at the bottom of the bottle of mezcal?
In fact, Americans are in the minority
when it comes to the consumption of these
earthly delights. In many ways we are still
juvenile in our diets, grossed out by eating
snails and frog's legs, for example. But, as the
palate matures, tastes can change. Now it's
my turn to up the ante.
Santa Monica's Typhoon Restaurant is
rumored to have some of the best insects in
town. It's a Pan-Asian place, featuring cuisine
and many of the surrounding
areas. And there they are, right
in the middle of the menu.
I have a glass of wine to
prepare myself and then begin
with the Taiwanese crickets,
which turn out to be quite
tasty. They are stir-fried and
mixed with raw garlic, chili
pepper and Asian basil. Honestly, it's like
inhaling the scent of a bag of potato chips, and
eating them reminds me of having a picnic on
the beach. So what if there are a few brown
critters in the mix? They're crunchy, just like
the rest of the dish. What's next?
Along come the Thai-style sea worms,
deep-fried and served on top of baby lettuce
leaves with ginger, chili pepper, peanuts and
lime and served with a tamarind dipping
sauce. I love escargot, and I'm thinking
maybe worms will be similar to snails. The
presentation is beautiful, which helps me get
over any lingering squeamishness, and the
tangy little worms are delicious, though the
dish is quite hot. If the worms weren't already
dead, that sauce would have demolished
them for sure.
I'm still going strong when I get to the
Singapore-style scorpions. The critters are staring up at me from the top of shrimp toast, but
I've already visualized this one, imagining the
scorpions as baby lobsters,
so I'm ready. I love lobster,
and that fantasy seems to
be working for me, especially since I take another
long drink of my cabernet
before I look closely at the
little darlings.
Don't
scorpions
kill
people? What the hell am
I thinking? But it only
takes three bites and those
tasty suckers are gone. No
stinger, no poison-just
a
good, fishlike sandwich.
I think my gal pal Erika
might even be using one for a toothpick.
So, we survive, and are here to tell the tale.
I'd like to raise the stakes the next time I have
the opportunity to go for bugs. How about
some large locusts, spiders or something else
from a Stephen King novel? Anyone care to
join me? ■
So, you think eating bugs is gross?
u.
2
i:i
...
(/,
~
Americans inadvertently
consume about one pound of
insects a year, even though
the U.S. Food and Drug
Administration limits the
number of insects allowed in
certain food products (30 or
more insect fragments per
100 grams of peanut butter?
Yum, make mine crunchy).
But some dried insects have
twice the protein of raw meat,
so at least you're getting your
nutrients. And, bug eating
advocates like David George
Gordon, the author of The
Eat-a-Bug Cookbook, tout
the environmental benefits of
entomophagy, since raising
insects for food has less of
an environmental impact than
raising livestock.
In 2008, the
United Nations
even had an
entomophagy
conference to discuss tackling
world hunger with bugs.
a:
u.
January/February
2010 117
OUTINFRONT
PuttingIn TheirTwo Cents
Spreading the grassroots word around the globe. By Sheryl Kay
GettingThingsDone
She describes herself as caustic, grumpy,
loud-mouthed, opinionated and leery of any
authority. But DawnFortunewill also tell you
she "gets shit done:'
Such has been the motto of this selfemployed home repair contractor in Mt.
Desert Island, Maine, pretty much since she
came out in college.
"Coming out and becoming an activist
seemed to be a no-brainer for me;' recalls
Fortune. "I figured out I was queer, moved in
with my first girlfriend, then looked around
and realized that there was a lot of injustice
and a lot of people who wished us harm.
Obviously, there was work to be done, so I got
started in my little corner of the world and did
what I could:'
And since then, she hasn't stopped. After
successfully founding the gay-straight alliance
at the University of Maine in Farmington,
Fortune went on to win the Social Issues
Certificate of Recognition from the Network
on Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Concerns
of the National Association of Student
Personnel Administrators, followed by the
Maine Lesbian Gay Political Alliance Award.
Fortune also devoted much of last year to the
Freedom to Marry Campaign, in an effort to
stop a people's veto of the marriage equality
bill signed into law by the governor of Maine.
"Marriage is important because it recognizes our families and our relationships, and
it protects partners who have been married
from the horrible things that can happen
after one dies;' notes Fortune. "Yes, we can
have some paperwork, but not everyone recognizes that paperwork. Married? They don't
argue. Besides, it's just fair. Isn't that enough?"
The future, says Fortune, will depend on
a new model of activism that empowers the
people at the grassroots level to take initiative
and get things done on their own. The old
guard, she says, is a top-down system.
"If the grassroots volunteers are not valued
and ,are not respected and are not trusted to
know their communities, they will lie down
and the leaders will have no followers;' she
1s
I curve
forms of discrimination
faced by queer
women in a country that continues to criminalize homosexuality.
"The very conservative cultures we have
in most of Asia are major barriers for all
LGBTIQ persons;' she says. "For lesbians in
QueersWithoutBorders
Over the past decade Rosanna Flamer- particular, the wholly patriarchal society is a
Calderahas seen great strides worldwide in huge hindrance and barrier to living our lives
the endeavor to improve LGBT civil rights.
fully as lesbians:'
But living in Sri Lanka, she's also seen that
The past year has been stressful, says
with every positive step, the movement has Flamer-Caldera, as Equal Ground has been
says. But, she says when the leaders listen to
the grassroots, "a guy with dark skin and a
funny name [can win] the highest office in
America. And this is wonderful:'
had to face enormous opposition because of
the rise of religious fundamentalism.
"This is where our big battles lie-to overcome the malevolent influence of religious
right-wing extremists;' she says. "While many
victories continue to be won, it also raises the
casualties we leave in its wake:'
Flamer-Caldera is the executive director
of Equal Ground, the only diverse group in
Sri Lanka to focus on LGBT issues. Her
work there includes all levels of programming geared toward addressing the multiple
accused of "spreading homosexuality and luring young Muslims in order to inculcate them
into a homosexual life:' Members of the group
have been threatened with death, and the staff
has been forced to move its offices in secret.
While the LGBT community fights for
gay marriage in the United States, FlamerCaldera reminds people that in other parts
of the world, lesbians are fighting to simply
stay alive, and this is why she advocates for
queer communities around the world to rally
together under one banner.
POLITICS
Survivoror Victim?
A new way to empower women who have been raped.
By Victoria A. Brownworth
er
1-
ve
tll
m
a
es
"We need unity to fight common enemies;' she advises. "That means gays and
lesbians in the U.S. must know [about]
and must get involved with what is happening to their brothers and sisters the
world over. No more thinking only within
your borders!"
A PennySaved
ys
:n
rm
tp
iff
)r
rts
ly
)r
ly
NinaSmithsays she's always had a bit of'bag
lady syndrome;' so knowing she has money
in the bank makes her feel safe.
"My savings and investments mean more
to me than having a designer handbag or
driving a luxury automobile;' says Smith,
the founder of Queercents.com, a group
blog that addresses the financial aspects of
everyday life for the LGBT community.
Smith became more mindful of her
personal finances when, at 30, she found
herself struggling to make ends meetworking night shifts, cleaning houses and
catering. Even after establishing a successful career path she found she was still short
on cash, so she set out to educate hersel£
eventually learning to buy assets (specifically, income-producing rental properties)
and to forgo costly liabilities.
Most women, Smith says, focus solely on
money maintenance. Instead of taking steps
to advance their wealth, they tend to care
about just holding on to what they have.
"We have to get our money working for
us;' says Smith. "As the saying goes, it takes
money to make money. If you want an
emancipated retirement, then you need to
create additional income streams:'
In addition to the host of topics she
addresses on the blog, Smith also advises
her readers to stay away from incurring
any debt, to purchase disability and longterm care insurance, to save for retirement
and to pay an attorney to draw up a will
and medical power-of-attorney.
"The more you have, the more complicated it gets, so don't be afraid to pay for
professional advice from lawyers, accountants and financial planners;' she says. ■
One of the big stories in 2009 was the arrest
of the Oscar-winning filmmaker Roman
Polanski by Swiss authorities at the behest
of the United States. Polanski, who raped a
13-year-old in 1977, pled guilty to unlawful
sex with a minor but fled the United States
before serving time in prison. Polanski has
never returned to the United States, not
even to accept the 2002 Oscar for his film
The Pianist.
The Polanski story broke just days after
actor Mackenzie Phillips revealed on Oprah
that she had been raped by her father, the
Mamas and the Papas founder John Phillips.
Responses co both stories were instantaneous
and bore a disturbing resemblance to one
other. Scores of celebrities and even political
leaders came to Polanski's defense. Celebrities
came to Phillips' defense as well-John's, not
Mackenzie's. As Mackenzie told Oprah in a
follow-up interview, everyone was asking how
she could do this to her father. No one asked
how this could have been done to her.
I had heated discussions with friends over
the Polanski and Phillips stories. One male
friend told me that it wasn't like Polanski was
Osama bin Laden-a
comment echoed by
Peter Fonda, a friend of Polanski's. A female
friend told me I was "personalizing" the
Polanski story and that Mackenzie was an
unreliable druggie who couldn't be trusted.
Mackenzie told Oprah-and
wrote in
her memoir-that
her father had raped her
when she was 19, on the eve of her wedding.
She said she woke up with her pants around
her ankles, after a night of getting high with
him. (She says her father first gave her drugs
when she was 11.) Mackenzie's sexual relationship with her father continued for at
least 10 years after the first incident, eventually becoming consensual.
"It was the Stockholm syndrome, where
you begin to love your captor;' Mackenzie
said. Polanski's victim, Samantha Geimer,
says drugs also played a role in her rape. She
Survivor or Victim? continued on page 62
January/February
2010 j 19
LESBOFILE
Babeson the Big Screen
We can't keep our eyes off these hotties. By Jocelyn Voo
show, A Shot at Love, was clearly a publicity
My fondness for PaulaAbdulgoes back to her stunt, but we're going to give her the benefit
"Cold Hearted" days, but it looks like '80s of the doubt regarding the recent rough-up
nostalgia couldn't offset her spacey demeanor
with her boyfriend, San Diego Chargers
on AmericanIdol.Abdul was unceremoniously
linebacker Shawne Merriman.
dropped from the reality TV juggernaut. Her
The NFL player was arrested in September
replacement? The ever-present EllenDeGeneres. for allegedly choking Tequila, whom he'd been
For this, we might even forgive the show for dating a scant three months, and refusing to
unleashing Saajaya upon the world.
let her leave his house after the twosome had
spent the night in a bar with friends. Tequila
TooHotto Handle
signed an affidavit putting him under citizen's
Drew Barrymore,the notorious wild child arrest for battery and false imprisonment.
of girl-kissing fame-hot.
Ellen Page,who Merriman, however, denied the charges, and
spurred Sapphic speculation when the cutie
some believe that the athlete was only trying
took her power-lesbian PR flack Kelly Bush
to prevent Tequila from driving home drunk.
to the Oscars for Juno-hot.
Barrymore
Despite the bruising on Tequila's neck when
and Page costarring in Whip It, the movie she testified, the district attorney ultimately
about roller derby girls-hot.
A photo of dropped the charges for insufficient evidence.
Barrymore and Page kissing for a Marie Claire
Putting your significant other under arrest?
spread-hot. Barrymore rhapsodizing about
Well, that's one way to break up.
how Page has "such a beautiful body" and
how Page "was in her frickin' bra with an KissandTell
open jacket and hot-pink shorts, skating
The movie Jennifer'sBody has all the makings
around the rink with red lips and ... she was of a teenage boy's wet dream: schoolgirls,
sexy as a mother" - hot. Page mirroring the gore and the sex icon Megan Fox. And it
adoration by saying Barrymore's openness
also has a little something for us-namely,
is "so sexy" -hot. Really, do I need to say Fox making out with her lovely lady costar,
more? These two make my job easy.
AmandaSeyfried.Lucky us.
Fox, who is by no means shy about her
LoveGrip
appreciation of women, told MTV News that
OK, OK, we knew that Tila Tequila's
reality Seyfried was a little more hesitant about the
IdolTalk
20 Icurve
intimate scenes than she was. However, "I feel
much safer with girls;' Fox said, "So I felt more
comfortable kissing her in the movie than
kissing any of the other people that I had to
kiss:' Amen, sister.
It's NotOverTill...
As many of us know, relationships often
aren't over until the third (or fourth, or fifth)
breakup. So it should come as no surprise
that LindsayLohanis still throwing fits and
playing the role of Sam Ronson'sspurned
lover. According to Hollyscoop,Lohan had a
"blowup fight" with Ronson at the Bowery
Hotel in New York City, then threw a room
service tray at Ronson's hotel door. The only
problem? It was someone else's door. Oops.
Afterward, Lohan was escorted out of the
hotel, hopefully, to get the help she needs.
E
en
GossipGirlBeard?
Rumor is, GossipGirl star JessicaSzohris not
~
afraid to get up close and personal with the
ladies, despite a very public relationship with
costar Ed Westwick. The Globe reports that
Szohr was spotted "dirty dancing with a sexy
blonde at Avalon nightclub in Hollywood
and later caught the two locking lips and
fondling each other at a table:' Apparently,
Stallone and Flavor Flav ex BridgetteNielsen
enjoyed the show. ■
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Women's resorts, bars,
cafes, bookstores & more,
across the US, Canada,
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Call for a free catalog
I have a headache from crying
and from lack of sleep. I don't
want to take anything for it
because I need to feel bad
right now, and because I don't
have the energy to walk to the
medicine cabinet, and because
there is nothing worth taking
in there anyway.
I'm paralyzed with sadness. I
love her. I hate her.
If I had known how it was
going to end up, I would never
have gone on that first date
with her. Were there signs of
this on that day:' I must go
over and over that day in my
mind until I figure it out or
throw up.
Somewhere along the way, I
scared her off. I know, I am a
scary dyke.
For two decades, I have been collecting quotes
and tidbits from lesbian breakups around the
globe so that I could bring them to you in
one angst-packed, selfpitying loaf of drama.
If you are currently suffering the ill effects of
a breakup, let our past collective, obsessive
misery ignite your brighter future.
Waa! Why is this happening to me:' I try
to think about all the people in the world
who have it worse than me-people
with
life-threatening illnesses, political prisoners,
people hanging upside-down in single-car
accidents that nobody has found yet-but I
envy those folks right about now.
Time is supposed to heal all wounds, but I
feel worse than I did yesterday, when she
dumped me. That theory is ridiculous-just
like the one about love conquering all.
Last night, she said we just didn't feel that
connection. I felt so stupid, because I thought
we did. How could I have been connected to
somebody who was disconnected from me:'
That's the worst part: feeling stupid. When
she told me we didn't have a connection,
why didn't I just shut up, instead of prattling
on about trust and boundaries:' I'm one of
those psycho-babbling ninnies I make fun of
all the time.
It is a good thing I don't have to be at work
today, because if I did, they would just have
to fire me for not showing up. I need a drama
day, dammit.
I don't care about work or anything else. I am a
loser; I might as well be an unemployed loser.
If I can't work, then I won't have any money
for food, and I will just lie here and starve to
death. I need to lose weight anyway. Maybe
that is why she doesn't want to be with me:
I'm too fat. She said she loved my body, but I
guess she lied about that too. Every word that
came out of her mouth was a lie.
Screw her and her commitment phobia, fat
phobia and whatever else she is afraid of. I
have been rejected. It wasn't mutual. I thought
she was great and she thought I sucked.
I wish I could watch TV. I can't concentrate
enough to watch TV. Besides, everything
reminds me of her. Where's the remote:'
Maybe any voice will make me less lonely.
What language are these people speaking
anyway:' Doesn't matter: It's just background
for my depression.
She didn't give us a real chance. I think she
was hung up on her ex. Her ex dumped her
and then she dumped me. Crap rolls downhill, but why am I always at the bottom of the
hill:' I am tired of getting hit with turds.
She hasn't even called to see how I am doing.
What a creep. You'd think she would take
some responsibility for what she has done to
me. If she ran over me with her car, I hope she
would call to see how I was doing. Did I mean
so little to her that she doesn't even care that I
am hurting:' [Insert 10-minute cryingjag]
She is the one who asked me out. Why didn't
she just leave me alone:' She was probably
bored. No, she wanted to get even with the
world for getting dumped, so she picked
somebody she could dump. I was easy pickins.
She came on so strong, tossing her sexy hair
and rubbing my shoulder while we talked.
She made me feel like I was the only person in
the world. Why didn't I just say I was waiting
for somebody when she plopped herself down
next to me:' I was too available. I am always
too available. I should be more aloo£ But
Breakingup is hard to do, but we know
how youfeel. By Michele Fisher
22 I curve
to
be
e:
I
at
I hate those games. Maybe it is not a
game-maybe that is how lesbians are
supposed to act and, as usual, I just don't
get it. That is how I feel, like everybody
else knows how to act and I am left out of
the Lesbian Love Olympics. I am not even
on the bench. I am in the parking lot.
I
ht
Is this a Filipino soap opera I'm watching?
I don't know any Tagalog, but the main
character and I seem to be going through
much the same thing. Maybe her girlfriend just dropped by to say"get lost;' too.
I hear you, sister. It hurts.
e
g
e?
ly.
g
1d
e
er
e
How could I not have known what was
up? When she said she wanted to come
over last night, I thought she was going to
ask me to move in with her. She is always
complaining about what a pain in the butt
it is to park in my neighborhood. She
didn't have any trouble parking last night.
She called and then she was in and out
in 15 minutes. Three months of my life
invested and it's over in 15 minutes. One
quarter's worth of time on the meter to
break my heart. [More crying]
ce
0
e
n
I
't
y
e
How do people get through this? It does
not get easier with age. When I was 16
and went through it, I felt like nothing
was ever going to be the same again. I feel
exactly the same today. I feel worse, actually, because all those years have passed
and I am still in the same place. When I
was 16, I had my whole life ahead of me.
Now, who knows how much time I have
left? [Self-pitying whimper that I cannot
turn into crying, despite trying]
lr
lt
Maybe she will change her mind. She is
going to realize she made a huge mistake
and then call me and beg me to forgive
her. I won't. I will. She is not going to call.
She is out there having the time of her life
while I am suffering.
There is no way I am going to be her
friend after this.
I am never leaving this bed or this house
again. There's nothing but pain out there
for me.
I wonder if there is any ice cream left? It is
hard to take rejection lying down, but that
Rocky Road is another story. ■
SCENE
1 DrewBarrymoreat a LosAngelesProp.8 protest2 SharonGless(right)
andJ.D.Disalvatoreat the LosAngelespremiereof HannahFreeat Outfest3
Curvettesat LatinPridefestivalin SanFrancisco(fromleft):LaKeishaHughes,
FloEnriquezandSilviaCastellanos
4 LesbolinaJolie (right)with GingerFae
skatingfor CigarCityMafiain TempleTerrace,Fla.5 The18thAnnualDance
ForLife Benefitraised$170,000to fight HIV/AIDS
6 Lovelyladiesat the Sweet
partyat Orsonsin SanFrancisco7 Bellydancersat the SistahsSteppin'in
Pridefestival,Oakland,Calif.8 ShannonWentworth(left)at CambriaWomen's
Weekend9 SusanMikula'sphotographyreceptionin Provincetown,
Mass.,
(fromleft):GalleryownerTJ Walton,MikulaandpartnerRachelMaddow,
andgallerydirectorSusanTomasian10 Livin' it up at BlissWeekend11
Birthdaygirl ConnieKurtz(right)andlong-timepartnerRuthieBerman(left)
whosewinninglawsuitgavehealthbenefitsto same-sexpartnersin NewYork
state.12 Morefun at CambriaWomen'sWeekend13 CherylMazak(left)
andJen Raininat curve's HostHotelWelcomePartyat the Galleriain San
Francisco14 LisaLeslie(far left) of the LosAngelesSparks
24
Icurve
gm
.t ; ff; IA n. at thefrontof a 450-horsepower
airboat,
~
glidingovera footof waterat speedsso
remarkable,
thewholegroupof passengers-1Olesbians,mypartner
andme-has to lift ourarmsandswingthemto the lefteachtimewe
approach
a corner.I can'thearourcuteBelizean
Bak-a-Bush
guidetell
usthis because
of the protective
earphones
I'm wearing,butI cansee
herdimpledgrinasshelifts herarmsin imitationof the modernday
stadiumwave.Theride,thoughexhilarating,
wasn'tthe best
part.Indeed,aswe slowdownto gothroughAlmondHill
LagoonandIndianCreekto spycrocodiles,
manatees,
spider
monkeys
andat least40 differenttypesof birds(including
a gorgeous
toucan),I'm remindedof thesharedhumanity
represented
bythe peopleherein CentralAmericaandthe
gaywomenonthis OliviaCaribbean
cruise.Whetherwe're
floatingthrougha seriesof caveson innertubes,swimmingwithstingrays,ridinga ziplinethroughthejungle,
trudgingthroughMayanruinsor chuggingdownonetoo
manymargaritas
with ourfishtacos,herewe'realljust one
peopletryingto relateto eachother.
At everyport-Cozumel,Belize,Guatemala-Ileapoff
the boatto find a culturalexperience
or naturaladventure
that myworkingclassparentscouldneverimagine.I sendpostcards
home("Mom,todayI sawancientMayanruinsfrom400BC")aboutthe
stalactites,
the ruinsandthe reefs,leavingoutthestuffaboutnaked
boobiesat KeyWest'sFantasyFestandthatwonderfully
stationedtequila
tastingin Cozumel.
Eachtime I boardthe boat,I returnto a floating
festival-so manylesbiancomics(VickieShawandJulieGoldman,
to
namea few),musicians,
parties,womenof colorevents,dancingand
foodthat it makesmeimaginehowmuchsomeof myfellowtravelers
needthis."I suddenlyfoundmyselflost,"admits50-year-old
Bella,who
runsherownbusinessandhasfourteenagers
at home."I wasnotsure
whoI amandwhereI amgoing."Then,Bellawona freetrip fromOlivia
viaTwitterandshestill hasn'tstoppedsingingthepraises,notjust of
thewomenonthe boatbutof thesweatlodgeexperience
shehadat
Temazcal
Cozumel.
"It helpedmelet goof all of thecrapI hadbeen
carryingaroundfor so long,andjust beat peace."
Forme,actsassimpleasgettingmyhairbraidedbya transwoman
in Belize,lookingat theshanty-style
homesalongthe Gulfof Honduras
or learningaboutthefeministunderpinnings
of Guatemalan
culturewere
lifechanging.
Thoughcruisingona lesbianboatis affordable
now,it still
feelslikea luxury.That'swhatvacations
areall about,though."I'll never
beableto explainthisto myfriends,"a perky,26-year-old
blondenamed
Amytold me."It's like,for oneweektheoutsideworlddidn'texist."Amy
is a closetednursingstudentin theSanFrancisco
BayArea.I metherat a
poolpartywheretheburlesque
duoWauWauSistersandcurve advice
guruDipstickwereleadingteamsin a dildoringtosswhiletheGood
Vibrations
girlstalkedaboutsextoys.Thoughsheliveslessthan20 miles
fromboththecurve officeanda GoodVibesstore,she'dneverheard
of eitherone."Maybethis is the pushI needto tell people,to knowI'm
notalone."Therealitythatwe'renotalone,hereandabroad,is the best
vacationsouvenirof all.■
1
J
* All nameshavebeenchanged
FormerlyBalthazarRestaurant-whereBette,Jodi,TashaandAlicewentoutfor a bite
in seasonfive-Maxine's Hideaway
is a steakhouse
with attitude.Locatedinsidea
historicWestEndmansionrich in bothhistoryandambience,Maxine'scombinesa
sexyatmosphere
with someof Vancouver's
tastiestcarnivorous
fare,hostingnightly
entertainment
includingburlesque,
exoticcabaretandspecialperformances.
You'rebound
to haveall of yoursensoryappetitessated.(1215BidwellSt.,maxineshideaway.com)
This Hive Is Buzzing
Th Ho e
as used in
various scenes of The L Word,
and there's a good reason
why: They throw one of the
hottest Friday night parties
in Vancouver. Situated on the
edge of an area known as
Gastown, this small, swanky
spot is part of the Lotus Hotel,
along with its downstairs
sister clubs, Lick and Lotus.
(455 Abbot St., markjamesgroup.com/lotus_hotel)
It mayhaveprovidedJennywith somewritinginspiration,but
theVancouver
Aquariumisn'tjust a wet andwild placeto pass
a day-it's the largestaquariumin all of Canada.
Offering
adventures
thatteachyouhowtheir marinelife is fed and
trained-or sleepovers,
if you'reintoseeinghowthe seasleepsthis aquaticdisplayletsyouget morethanyourfeetwet.The
aquariumnowhasa babybelugawhalenamedTiqa,so,really,
what morereasondoyouneedto go?(StanleyPark,vanaqua.org)
Artistically Inclined
e e two h Porer Gallery, in season six, is actually the Buschlen
Mowatt Gallery. A modern and contemporary art oasis, Buschlen Mowatt
has been displaying some of the finest established and up-and-coming
artists since 1979. This gallery doesn't simply service beauty. It is dedicated
to community service, too, through the Buschlen owatt Foundation,
and sponsors countless food, outreach and youth programs.
(1445 West Georgia St., buschlenmowatt.com)
A buildingknownasTheIronworks
wasusedas
theexteriorof the Planetandvariousotherscenes
throughout
thetenureof TheL Word.It's a multiuse
spaceavailableasa locationfor films,TV,photographers
andhostingexhibitions
of contemporary
art.Inthe
Downtown
Eastside
areaof Gastown,
TheIronworks
studiospaceis partof the progressive
RailtownCultural
Enhancement
Association,
whichis dedicated
to
providing
affordable
spacefor artistsandviewersalike.
(235Alexander
St.,theironworks.ca)
Call of the Wild
s
e e in season two
and she and Moira plan their road
trip from its beer-stained barstools
in season three, but a loose
attitude, cheap drinks and the
hot staff are the real draw at Wild
Coyote, which also boasts a robust
roster of Vancouver's hottest DJs.
There's a large dance area, with
mezzanine seating above, so you
can look down at the crowd and
spot who's going to go home with
your number. There's something
going on every night of the week at
Wild Coyote, with the party going
strong until 3 a.m. (1312 SW Marine
Drive, wildcoyoteclub.com)
ThePacificNationalExhibition
wasthesite
of the basketballgamechallengeagainst
Papi'screwin seasonfour.In reallife,it
welcomessports,culturalandartsevents.
If you'revisitingbetweenAugust21 and
September
6, youwon'twantto missthe
100thAnniversary
of the summerFair.
Thislivelygatheringboastsa widearray
of activities,ridesandgames.(2901East
HastingsPark,pne.ca)
Hip Veggies
Yo
19
ot run into Shane at the Foundation Lounge, the way Niki
does in season six, but you will get some of the tastiest and cheapest
vegetarian and vegan food in Vancouver. Described as an "openconcept" space, this spot is known for being hip, innovative and
crowded during peak hours. Be prepared for hippies, hipsters and
a minimalist decorative flair. (2301 Main St., 604- 708-0881)
Inthe series,this hotspotis knownasthe NYCStarlightBarandit's
whereBettepicksupa twink in seasontwo. In reallife,it's called
WildRiceandit servescontemporary
Asiancuisinein a settingthat
harmonizes
yin andyang,utilizingthe principlesof fengshui.Thisnoted
nightspotoffersforksalongwith chopsticksanda chicambiencealong
with hipAsian-fusion
tapasthat arefit to share.It wonthe GoldenPlate
Awardsfor mostinnovativemenu2002-2005.Slinkupto the sexyice
barat the centerandorderyourselfa drink-and onefor yourtwink.
(117WestPender,
wildricevancouver.com)
JennytakesAdeleshoppingfor
a wholenewwardrobein season
five,andif youwantto followin
theirfootsteps,goto HoltRenfrew,
Vancouver's
premierspotfor
luxuriouswaresfor over170years.
Notonlydoesthis swankyshopping
meccaallowyouto browseandbuy
someseriouslydesignerduds,but
youcanalsogetyourlatestfinds
tailoredto yourbodytypewith Holt's
Tailoredto Measureservice.Anddon't
forgetto visitthe spa.(737Dunsmuir
St.,holtrenfrew.com)
Hig C
Remember
whenthegirlswereontheirway
to an Oliviacruiseandsecurityfounda dildoin
Dana'sbag?Let'shopeyoudon'thavethesame
experience
whenyoutravelthroughVancouver
International
Airport.Knownfor beingthehubfor the
2010Olympics,
whichis beinghostedbythecityof
Vancouver,
it's thesecond-busiest
airportin Canada.
Skytraxgaveit the"BestNorthAmerican
Airport
Award"in 2007and,asthebridgebetween
Asia
andCanada,
it hasmoretrans-Pacific
flightsthan
anyothercityinthecountry.(yvr.ca)
If youwantto try yourluckonthe horses,likethe gangdid
in seasonfour,headto HastingsRacecourse.
Eversince
thetrackopenedin 1889,it's beenthesiteof Vancouver's
fastestfillies.Jointhe crowdfor the racesanyweekendfrom
AprilthroughNovember
or on FridaynightsfromJunethroughSeptember.
(PacificNationalExhibit,Gate8 or 9, hastingsracecourse.com)
Hollywood North
If you want to catch a show at the theater where
the girls saw Heart, head to the Vogue. This 1,200seat theater was founded in 1941 and is an ideal
downtown venue for events large and small, from
one-woman shows to massive corporate powwows.
Not only is it renowned for its art deco style and
eclectic combination of musical, performing arts
and business events, the Vogue Theater is also the
venue for the Vancouver International Jazz Festival,
as well as the Vancouver International Film Festival.
(918 Granville St., voguevancouver.com}
g D gs
Tinareceived
a Peabody
Foundation
AwardandgotscoopedawayfromBetteby
Helenaat theSuttonPlaceHotel,a European-style
hotelin theheartofVancouver,
withinwalkingdistanceof spas,art galleriesandthechicshopping
areaof Robson
Street.SuttonPlaceunitesthestaggeringly
beautifulsurroundings
of mountains
andseawithsleekandluxurious
roomsandamenities.
Thehotel'sFleuri
Restaurant
offersthefinestFrenchContinental
cuisine,andthe GerardLoungeis
knownfor its martinisandisthe recipientof its ownaward-the "Bronze"for Best
Bar/Lounge
by Vancouver
magazine.
(845BurrardSt.,suttonplace.com)
HITTHEPOWDER
TOSHOWYOURPRIDE
FromVancouver
to Ve
arethe placeto be.
, the slopes
Fora cold weatherdestination,
Vancouver,B.C.,hostsoneof the
hottestgay getawaysin North
America.GayWhistler'sannual
WinterPRIDE
festival is morethan
just a gay ski week-it's the
ultimatesnowygaycation.And
this year's party will be moreepic
than ever.Helddirectly after the
Olympics,March1-8, WinterPRIDE
201Opromisesto be bigger,better
and gayer.As soonas the torch is
extinguished,all the Olympicflags
will be replacedwith rainbowflags,
as Whistleris transformedinto a colorful queermecca.
"This is an awesometime to come up, experience
the energyand havethe full mountainto yourself," says
DeanNelson,mediarelations representativefor Whistler.
(Well,yourself and thousandsof other lesbians.)This
year'swomen'seventsincludeall-girl club nights,
ladies-onlybackcountrysnowmobiling,snowshoeingand
dogsleddingtrips (completewith vintage-styletrapper
gearand aprespartiesin the woods)and a new champagneand manicureeventcalled Bubblesand Boobies.
Plus,manyof the eventswill be held at the Pride House,
a new building designedto housegay athletes during
the OlympicGames.(gaywhistler.com)
If you can't makeit all the way to Vancouver,
there are
plentyof gay ski eventscloserto home.Hereare someof
the best slope-sideparties:
CALIFORNIA
March17-21 (mammothgayski.com)
March7-14 (laketahoewinterfest.com)
COLORADO
Feb.20-27 (tellurideskiresort.com)
Jan.17-24 (gayskiweek.com)
Jan.27-31 (vailgayskiweek.com)
MONTANA
Feb5-7 (bigskyresort.com)
UTAH
VERMONT
Jan.20-24 (stowe.com)
FORGETYOUR G-SPOT
All the buzz is on the cul-de-sac these days.
The female body, while we love it so, seems to produce new
and more mysterious sexual ways every day. The G-spot and
clit were hard enough for us to figure out, but now names like
"cul-de-sac" are being thrown about. (No, it doesn't refer to
a circular dead-end street.) Sex educator and "spots" expert
Jessica Bain chats with fellow Good Vibrations alum Yana
Tallon-Hicks to help us figure this one out.
Whatis thecul-desacandwhereis it?
The cul-de-sac refers to the area of the vagina around the
cervix. I have to say, this is a clever little moniker, and the
■
HAVE first time I've heard it. Anatomically speaking, this area is the
YOUEVER fornix, the area of the vagina into which the cervix protrudes.
FAKED
AN Pleasurably speaking, some people refer to the anterior
ORGASM?
fornix, on the front of the vaginal wall, as the 'i\.-spot" or the
6 Yes 'i\.FE ( anterior fornix erogenous) zone:'
38YoNo
Howdoyoustimulatethis"A-spot"youspeakof?
According Stimulation of the A-spot is similar to that of the G-spot, but
to a curvemag.compoll
not exactly the same because anatomically they are different.
Direct, focused pressure is what seems to be the most universally satisfying. Motion, or hooking, which works against the
?
30 I curve
-
-~~~
--
--
---
--
~
----
G-spot's spongy tissue, doesn't seem to be as pleasurable for
most folks as simple firm pressing.
Now ha I kno ha_to _o _
w doI findit?CanI findit
onmyown?DoI needhelpfroma p, rtn ortoy?
You can find this area on your own so long as you can reach
that far into your own body, but the search would probably
be much more fun with a partner doing the reaching. A good
idea is to familiarize yourself with the area before you get
your sex on, as in, when you're not turned on. Most people
aren't that familiar with how the inside of their vagina feels
that far in. So, dig in and figure out where that area is around
the cervix, then let your partner know about it.
"I
As far as toys go, any longer, firm, G-spot toy with a
defined curve at the end will work lovely with the A-spot as
well. Also, there are some great wands on the market that are
geared toward prostate stimulation for male-bodied folks.
These typically have a distinct curve on the end and then
an extra bump an inch or two down. These are great toys to
use with vaginas as well, because they hit two birds with one
stone-the
curve presses against the A-spot while the bump
pushes into the G-spot. Marvelous.
I
.
c
2
•2
or
it
h
a
as
re
s.
n
to
e
P
f
Whatare somegoodcul-de-sac-ishpositionsfor
• e o ry o t at home?
If you are looking for a sex position or activity
that's going to hit the A-spot, fisting can be a
good option, if it's feasible for a person. Also,
any position where the recipient has her knees
tucked closer into their chest will make it easier
to get to the A-spot, whether you're doing it
with hands, a toy or a strap-on.
spot mulatio leadto o ·gasm?
What people experience from A-spot stimulation varies. I've read in some academic papers
that the AFE zone causes the vaginal walls to
lubricate more when stimulated. I'm not sure
what the scientific explanation is behind that, so
I can't quite jump on board with that theory yet.
What I do know is that the sensation evoked
when stimulating the A-spot is very deep and
so, in my opinion, it can lead to very intense
orgasm. What is important to keep in mind,
though, is that rarely is an orgasm the result of
a singular sensation. The key is to incorporate a
number of stimulating activities into your sexual
encounters to better increase your chances, or
number, or intensity of orgasm.
So,shouldI Justrun aroundpressingthe A-spotof
er, g·rI ta home?
It is important to remember that every single
person's body is different from the next. Some
women may like A-spot stimulation, others may
care less and some may even find it uncomfortable. Communicate with your partner to figure
out whether or not it feels good. Also important
to note is that the A-spot is right next to the
cervix, so be careful. I can say, without a doubt,
that most women don't like pressure on their
cervix, so know where you're pressing before
going for the gusto, or you're likely to get kneed
in the jaw.
I
re ·eallyan A-spot,or is it like the G-spot,
wheresomepeopleswearby it andothersjust
thin it's a myth?
Some people speak of the G-spot as if it were
a mythological region, and I've heard the A-spot
referred to in the same way. Your body is not
~ a myth, folks. These areas exist whether you
~~ believe they do or not. All vaginas h ave a
~ paraurethral sponge ( the G-spot) and an ante~ rior fornix (the A-spot). Whether or not t hey
0
z
~ are pleasure zones is what differs between one
a:
8 vagina and the next. The myth is that these"spots"
~ are orgasmic miracle workers. The real orgasmic
miracle workers are communication, self-knowl~
, <1: edge and experimentation. Have at it! ■
!
5 FACTS ABOUT
DOWN THERE
Thereare so manygreatthings aboutbeing
a woman-the ability to createlife, have
multipleorgasms,multitaskand order
a fruity umbrellacocktail without being
judged,to namejust a few. But with these
privilegescomeresponsibilities,oneof
which is learninghowto live with a pelvis
that is inherentlyunstable.Anythingthat
needsto be watertightand alsoallow for
the safepassageof an infant's headhas
got to be bothstrongandflexible.A healthy
pelviscan ward off potentialhealthproblemssuchas incontinence,painfulsexual
intercourse,the inabilityto orgasmand,
maybeworst of all, pelvicorganprolapse
(an agonizingproblemthat occursin up to
50 percentof womenwho havegivenbirth,
in whichorganssuchas the uterus,bladder
or bowelprotrudeinto the vaginadueto
weaknessin the tissuesthat normally
supportthem).So hereare five facts you
shouldknow aboutkeepingyour pelvis
happyandhealthy.
1. Threegroupsof musclesmakeup the
pelvicfloor,includingthe outer-most
muscle,which is shapedlike a figure eight
surroundingthe anusandthe vagina.These
nuscleswork togetherto keepsomethings
n (gestatingbabies)and let otherthings
ut (urine,feces,babieswho are ready).
YogainstructorLeslieHowardleadspelvic
floor workshopsfor womenwhereshe uses
pictures,3-0 visualaids,exercisesand
metaphorsto helpwomenvisualizetheir
anatomy:"Think of yourtorso as a tote bag
for your organs,"shesays."Thepelvicfloor
is the bottomof the tote bag.Someonewith
a weak pelvicfloor hasa tote bagthat is
aboutto havethe bottomfall out."
2. Upto 50 percentof all womenexperience
someincontinenceduringtheir lifetime
andonein four womenoverthe ageof 18
experienceepisodesof involuntarilyleaking
urine.Becauseof the shameassociated
with incontinence,manywomengiveup
things they love,such as running,dancing
or evenleavingthe housein orderto hide
their problem.If you are strugglingwith the
commonpostpregnancydoublewhammy
of incontinenceandweight gain,be aware
that manyexercises,suchas crunchesand
squats,put extra pressureon the muscles
of the pelvicfloor and maycausemore
problemsthan theysolve.
3. Kegelexercises are namedafter
Dr.Arnold Kegel,a LosAngeles-based
gynecologistwho beganpromotingthem
as a curefor incontinencein the late1940s.
Thougheveryonewith a vaginaowesa tip of
the hat to this pioneeringdoctor,who helped
manywomencure their incontinence
without surgery,Howardfirmly believes
that the most-frequentlyprescribedvaginal
exerciseshouldnot be namedafter a man.
Sheprefersto call them "diamonds."
Also,his exerciseswere neverintended
to be performedwithout biofeedback,as
they are much less effective without it.
His kegel perineometerallowed womento
feel, measureand developgreatercontrol
of their pelvic floor muscles.Unfortunately,
afterhis deaththis devicefell out of common
use and womenwere left squeezingin
the dark onceagain.If youembarkon a
missionto retrainyour pelvicfloor muscles,
makesureyoufind a qualifiedprofessional,
usuallya physicaltherapist,to provideyou
with the educationandbiofeedbackthat will
greatlyincreaseyoursuccess.
4. Vetanotherreasonto hate episiotomies:
the all-too commonbirthing practicecuts
throughthe pelvicfloor muscles,decimatingtheir strength.Thoughepisiotomies
are no longera standardpart of vaginal
birth, manyexpertsstill feel that they are
performedfar too often. If you're havinga
baby,makesure you tell your doctoryour
opinionof this practice.
5.Learningto relaxandstrengthenyourpelvic
floormusclesnotonlyreducesincontinence
andotherproblems,it increasessexual
satisfaction.Everyonecan benefitfrom
pelvic floor muscles.
[HeatherRobinson]
January/February
2010
I 31
SEXY TOYS GET SMART
The latest buzz on today's titillating technology. By Yana Tallon-Hicks
of a button. And then it remembers them. Unforgettable
in more ways than one, SaSi actually records your top
picks into a "favorites" memory bank for you to come
back to. ($149, goodvibes.com)
?
■
WHAT'S
YOUR
NAUGHTIEST
POSmON?
%
Against
a wall {or
showeror
whatever
...)
22%
Myfeet,her
shoulders Afraid of being outsmarted by new-fangled sex toys? Today's
{'nuffsaid)
sex toy lines now boast greenly rechargeable toys, endless
17 Yo
Reverse vibration patterns, memory cards and price-justifying onecowgirl{any year warranties. With all the new technological advances,
typeof the sex toys of 2010 are giving any tech-savvy girl something
cowgirl,
actually) to tweet about. They can't preprogram the perfect girlfriend
upgrade yet, but they're getting closer with these high-end
10%
Everyone brainiac vibrators whose futuristic functions will have you
getsa go calling them anything but toys.
{don'tmake
mecount
UE' SASI:As the advertising promises, "like a good lover,
it out) J
SaSi
remembers what you like:' This intuitive rechargeable
3%
Solo(Ijust vibrator takes sex toys to a new level, with a rotating nub
neverliked that makes Je Joue's SaSi the only vibe
sharing)
on the market to create a sensation that
According
to a feels an awful lot like that little something
curvemag.com
poll
weborrowed
from
ourstraight-girl ending in "lingus." In one mode, SaSi
counterpart,
Cosmo puts you in control of its countless nubby
sensation patterns, and in the other, this
intelligent vibe takes you through 36
preprogrammed
settings, allowing you
to single out your favorites with a click
32
I curve
WE-VIBE:Rechargeable and designed
every step of the way with a woman's
input, the We-Vibe is the only vibrator
made specifically to be worn internally
during sex. A vibrating motor in each
end of this C-shaped vibe has this toy
working simultaneously on the inside
and the outside, reaching both the more
accessible "C" spot and that harder-toreach G-spot and leaving your hands free to roam. Be warned
that everybody's body is different, so if this toy has a vibe you
can't get into, get creative with its nonbulky ultra-flexibility.
Dyke Tip: The We-Vibe fits purrfectly underneath a harness
for a little extra motivational boost. ($130, babeland.com)
LELO'SMIA: While Lelo's Swedish line of sleek-looking
rechargeable toys are always a classy pick, the Mia was made
especially with femmes in mind. Perfectly disguised as a tube
of lipstick, this tiny vibe packs a powerful punch and won't
cause a stir if kept in your purse (especially with its practical
travel-lock). Futuristic femmebots on-the-go will love the
added perk that this PC- and Mac-compatible toy charges in
the USB port of your computer. Convenient. ($64, lelo.com)
OHMIBOD'S
CLUB.Do your regular nights at the local dyke bar
need a pick-me-up? Tuck in the Club Vibe next time you go
out. Small and discreetly wearable, with a clip-on controller
for pockets and belts, this ultimate party favor helps you keep
the beat with three settings: Plain ol' "manual" has you surfing through seven vibration patterns, while "music" connects
straight to your iPod and vibes to the beat and volume. Been
there, done that? The Club Vibe turns it up a notch with "ambient;' an innovative setting that picks up the patterns of sounds
around you through a speaker in the battery pack, and then
vibrates accordingly. Crank up the tunes at home, go out to
a bass-happy club or simply whisper sweet
nothings in its ear. You'll know it's listening.
($49, ohmibod.com)
JIMMYJANE'SFORM6:JimmyJane has dolled
up the vibrator so much with its wondervibe, the Form 6, that it is now being
sold at your neighborhood Bed, Bath and
Beyond-as
a neck massager, of course.
c
s
[e
p
e
Work out those kinks with this six-mode toy that somehow
manages to be rechargeable and waterproof. Enjoy the spice of
life with vibration patterns rangingfrom"gende oscillations" to
"exhilarating pulses;' as well as two different insertable ends
and dual motors. Feeling a little fuzzy afterward? Form 6
will power itself down if you forget to turn it off and will
remember which vibration combination you ended with,
which it will then resume for you when you're ready for
more. ($185, jimmyjane.com)
THANGEL.
Are rechargeable vibes just not green enough
for you Birkendykes? Try out Irish-born vibe the Earth
Angel, the "world's first green technology sex toy:' Made
completely from recycled materials (in product and packaging),
the greenest of the green can power up this wind-up vibe
with a crank built into the base of the toy. The power core
in the Earth Angel generates enough juice for instant intense
vibration and will store unused energy for later, with external
light patterns indicating how much power you have left.
Seeing that four whole minutes of cranking will bring you
just 30 minutes of vibration, you may be better off using that
cranking hand elsewhere, but this one-of-a-kind concept is
still worth mentioning. ($89, goodvibes.com) ■
the body,the
heavierball
Accordingto a recentpoll,almosthalf moveswith your
of you knowwhat Kegelexercisesare bodymovement
and breathing,
but don't do them.Kegelswork out
causingyourPC
yourpubococcygeus
(PC)muscles,
musclesto react.Imagine:If someone
which contractduringthat little thing
tappedyou on the arm,yourmuscle
calledan orgasm.Thestrongerthe
wouldtenseup; similarly,the round
PCmuscles,the strongerandmore
frequentthe orgasms.Now,you might shapeand rattlingof the beadswill
causethe vaginalmusclesto flex,
be thinking,I don't evenhavetime
givingthem a goodworkout.They're
to havean orgasm,and and now I'm
expectedto sit in one place,concen- discreetandcomfortable-you can
tonewhile youvacuum,groceryshop
trate on my breathingand isolate
or watchTV.Adda Iii' extraoomph
somevaguecrotch muscles1Oto 15
to your run,shakeup yourcommute
times a day?Please.
Luckyfor you,busypower-lesbian, or stick it to the manwhile paying
your bills. Becarefulnot to overexert
just like talkingto yourgirl on your
BlackBerry,evenKegels havegone
yourselfthough.PCexercisersvary in
how heavythey are,so start light, or,
handsfree. LunaBeadsby LELOare
betteryet,with LELO'sfour-packof
two connectedweightybeadsinside
differentlyweightedLunaBeads.Doa
siliconeshells,which are inserted
(lubehelps),leavingthe string outside little winter-trainingregimenbefore
the body,muchlike a tampon(but
the, uh, springseasonstarts. [Yana
with sexierresults).Onceinside
Tallon-Hicks]
VAJAYJAYWORKOUT
g
opportunity to think solely about
yourself, keeping these handy tips
in mind.
e
1. Get Your Questions Answered.
Today's sex shops aren't relegated
to dark alleys. Vibrators are being
sold in places as innocuous as
Wal-Mart and CVS drugstores. Best
yet, women-owned stores like Good
Vibrations and Babeland employ an
open-minded, educated staff and
offer a comfortable, queer-friendly
shopping environment.
n
,:,0
r
p
Today, the vibrator is as common in
households as the toaster. According
to two new national surveys in The
Journal of Sexual Medicine, 53 percent of women report having used a
vibrator. But, it turns out, your mom
was right: Everybody is different.
And this is especially true when it
comes to vibrators. Like food, the sex
toy that one person finds absolutely
delicious may just not suit another's
taste. So before you drop $90 on the
Rabbit just because you saw it on
Sex and the City, take this unique
no You
ate •
While you
can disinfect silicone toys with good
ol' soap and water, you'll want to use
condoms over porous elastomer and
jelly rubber, as they can hang on to
residue and germs.
Conside
e Ins an O s. longer
toys can be inserted or used as
external vibrators, while giving you
that extra reach for partner play.
Something with a curved end will
make the G-spot less allusive, and
"twice-as-nice" toys (like the Rabbit)
work both internally and externally.
4 Chee Your Sp edometer While
that tiny one-speed bullet may be
cute, if its single setting doesn't take
you there, you just wasted 20 bucks.
A vibe featuring multiple speeds,
strengths and even pulsations allows
you to explore what works for you.
5. Calcula e. Vibrators don't last
forever. The price generally reflects
a toy's lifespan, and that rare oneyear warranty is usually worth the
extra cost.
6. Get Specific Aquatic? Get
something waterproof. Shy? Vibes
disguised as lipstick tubes or bath
toys are extra-discreet. Green? Invest
in something rechargeable.
fr a N es Trust your instincts. If
something just seems right, chances
are it is. And I promise, whatever vibe
you choose will serve you even better
with good lube. [YanaTallon-Hicks]
January/February
2010
I33
FALLIN'HARD
FOR A WHISKEY
DRINKIN'GIRL
Learning to appreciate the sweet
burn of a love that got away.
By Heather Robinson
As I write this, there is a glass of bourbon whiskey beside
me, its golden liquid seeming to glow from within. Looking
at whiskey used to make me wince. I dreaded its harshness
and mean taste. At bars I ordered a beer and sometimes a
vodka cocktail if I wanted something more potent. I would
probably have left the brown stuff alone forever if it hadn't
been for my Banjo Girl.
We met on my 30th birthday, when I found myself at a redneck bar without the sense to realize that asking every girl in
the bar to two-step might not be warmly received by the local
color. After several whirls around the floor, I returned to the
bar thirsty, sweaty and revved up. That's when I first saw her,
staring at me in a shameless way. She wore tight Levi's on her
long cowgirl legs and had her shiny dark hair pulled back into
braids. I forgot that I was thirsty and asked her to dance.
Later, she told me she had always wanted a girlfriend.
Banjo Girl had road-tripped down from Canada with
only some bluegrass music and her big white dog for
company. We kissed in the moonlight and I remember the
sharp bite of whiskey on her breath. On our first date, we
hiked up a mountain and are chocolate and strawberries at
34 I curve
the peak, and I learned that my cowgirl was an archeologist
who shopped at the organic food store, played the banjoand
drank whiskey straight up. Since I wasn't planning on learning to fingerpick or eat kale nuggets, I decided I would leam
to like whiskey. How hard could it be?
Damn hard, it turns out. Even though Canadian whisky
tends robe lighter than whiskies made in Europe or America,
(and also spelled differently-in Ireland and America, whiskei
is spelled with an "e";elsewhere, without) I couldn't get used
to the afcerburn, aftertaste and afterfeel.
As Banjo Girl and I got to know each other better, I started
keeping che mysterious brown liquid in my pantry, in hopeful
anticipation of her visits. While she was there, I would drink
through my pain, trying to hold back my grimaces. Banjo
Girl was so gorgeous, with her irresistible accent, dry wit and
flushed cheeks, that I was willing to drink almost anything
for her. Then she moved back to Canada, where she still
roams and drinks, and for a while I stopped trying to acquire
a fondness for whiskey.
Bur I still wished I had learned to love the stuff. Whiskey
is a lonely prairie night in a glass, a gulp of wild cowgirl
with overtones of campfire, leather and Thelma and Louise.
Whiskey is the drink of the heartbroken, the restless, the
nomadic wanderer, and I wanted it to be my drink, too.
So, several tastings and a few years later, what I ended
up liking about whiskey was the very thing I had originally
hated. It refuses to go quietly, will not be gulped and, even
when smooth, has a delicate burn. Good whiskey forcesyou
to slow down and take notice, just the opposite of a lightice·
cold beer. The flavors are earthy and complex, like smoke,
oak, pear and burnt fruit. It's the closest thing I've found
to meditation in a glass. As I've gotten older, I've learnedto
crave that gentle burn, like a broken heart that's had a chance
to mellow. It's a sweet pain chat brings me back and helps me
remember all that I've lost and all that I still have. Though
appreciating whiskey may rake some effort, for me, it was
worth the pain, like knowing Banjo Girl.
Whiskey is essentially brandy made from beer instead of
wine and is usually made in places where the weather is
too inhospitable for growing grapes. Ir is believed that the
first whisky was made in Scotland and was so fierce that only
brawny Highlanders could get it down. The strong stuff made
its way to the ew World when European seeders brought
their distilling traditions with chem and starred making
whiskey in the British colonies. When the slave trade ended,
drying up the supply of cheap rum, and the colonies revolted,
whiskey became the spirit of choice for a young America.
Whiskey was as common as sweat in the settling of
America. Anne Royall, considered by some co be the fir5t
female journalist in the United States, noted, "I am afraidm)'
brave Tennesseans indulge too great a fondness for whiskey.
When I was in Virginia it was too much whiskey. The Ohio
story was the same: too, too much whiskey:'
In thirsty San Francisco, there was one taproom for
every 100 men. Americans were so fond of their homegrown
pick-me-up that when the government tried to tax distilled
spirits, it succeeded in fomenting the Whiskey Rebellion of
1794. It took an army bigger than any assembled during the
Revolutionary War to quell Pennsylvania's angry whiskeymaking farmers. Afterward, many of those rebels headed
down to less-regulated Kentucky, where bourbon was born.
Whiskey is fiercely married to the land it comes from:
Scotch whisky must be made in Scotland, Canadian whisky
in Canada; Irish whiskey must hail from the Green Isle and
bourbon is usually made in Kentucky.
Bourbon, like jazz and Sesame Street, is a quintessentially
American creation. For a whiskey to call itself bourbon,
it must be made from 51 percent corn mash and must be
aged for at least two years in new charred oak barrels. It can
be made anywhere in the United States, but more than 95
percent of bourbon is made in Kentucky, where the local
water is said to make the grass blue, the horses frisky and
the women beautiful.
Whiskey needs to be aged and mellowed in order to fully
develop. When freshly made, it's colorless, flavorless and
only good for getting smashed. Only after sitting around
and thinking about what it has done does whiskey gain the
character and flavor it is known for. Most whiskey takes its
flavor from the charred oak barrels it's aged in, while Scotch
whisky is dominated by the smoke of the peat fires used to
dry the malted barley it is made with. Some whiskies are
aged for as little as two years, but the better brands spend 8
to 12 years developing. ■
St
a,
g
II
re
r
rl
e.
The best way to appreciate whiskey is by sampling different
varieties and brands. Here are some faves to start with.
MAKER'S
MARK
KENTUCKY
STRAIGHT
BOURBON
TIJLLAMORE ELIJAH
DEW12CRAIG
YEAR-OLD KENTUCKY
SPECIAL
STRAIGHT
RESERVE
BOURBON
A smooth
ThisIrish
deliveryand whiskey
richoaktaste featuresa
makethis a
beautiful
greatoption goldenhue
for neophytes;anda soft
gentle
tastethat
enoughto
lingers,
besipped
leavinga
straightand mildhint
alsomakes of sweet
a great
honey.
Manhattan.
Darkerand
stormier
thanMaker's
Mark,but
still smooth
enoughto
sip. If it's your
first time at
the whiskey
rodeo,the
robustand
strongflavors
maybe a
bit overwhelming.
GLENLIVET
PURESINGLE
MALT
SCOTCH
WHISKY
LAPHROAIG
SINGLE
MALT
SCOTCH
WHISKY
You'llhaveto
channel
your inner
Highlander
to knockthis
stuff back.
Theflavor is
aggressive
andthe burn
feels like
a four-alarm
fire in your
mouth.
This10-yearold whisky
featuresthe
smoky,peaty
flavorthat
Scotchis
knownfor.
Laphroaig,
pronounced
"la-froyg,"
is a Gaelic
wordmeaning
"the beautiful
hollowby the
broadbay."
OUR SEXPERTBIOS
JESSICA BAIN is a Good Vibrations sex educator and
"spots" extraordinaire who knows everything about those
hard to find places. When she's not helping us discover
ourselves, she's making pottery, including a line of
nipple-centric ceramics.
YANA TALLON-HICKS majored in queer, gender and
sexuality studies and received over 40 hours of training
on sexual health, sex toys and anatomy as a sex educator and sales associate for Good Vibrations. She currently
lives in Massachusetts with her girlfriend.
if
~
2
0
HEATHER ROBINSON is a personal trainer and health
writer. Her sex education has consisted almost entirely of
on the job training. She encourages talking through awkward moments, using lots of lube and stretching regularly.
VALENTINE'SDAYBY HAND
These sensual foods will have her licking your fingers.
By Vanessa Barrington
\Vhy not head into che kitchen and gee in couch with your sensual side chis V-Day? Food is already sensual to begin with, but
chis menu is designed to make it even sexier by encouraging you to experience the textures of the different components with
your fingertips. When you ear with your hands, you slow down and savor the food-and the company-even
more. There are
plenty of aphrodisiacs in these Southeast Asian-inspired dishes, like garlic, aromatics and chocolate. The flavors are big and
lusty, yet the menu is light. Ir will leave you inspired and ready to indulge in each other.
GARLIC-LIMEMARINATEDCHICKEN
Make some sticky rice to
go with this and you won't
need utensils. Simply pick
up a ball of rice with your
fingers and then tear off
a bit of chicken. Dip them
in the sauce together.
Sticky rice is available at
Southeast Asian grocery
stores and is easy to
prepare by following
the instructions on the
package, but you must
allow several hours to soak
the rice.
1/2 teaspoon whole black
peppercorns, divided
2 garlic cloves, peeled
1/2 a small shallot, peeled
pinch of salt
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1 tablespoon fish sauce
6 tablespoons lime juice,
divided (about 2 limes)
1/2 to 3/4 pound boneless,
skinless chicken thighs
With a mortar and pestle,
pound together 1/4
teaspoon peppercorns
and the garlic, shallot and
salt to make a paste.
Add sugar, fish sauce,
and 3 tablespoons of lime
juice. Stir to dissolve the
sugar.Put the chicken in a
baking dish and pour the
marinade over, rubbing
it in so it penetrates the
chicken well. Marinate
for 30 minutes at room
temperature.
Preheat the oven to 400
degrees.
Make a dipping sauce by
pounding the remaining
peppercorns until coarsely
ground. Add the remaining
lime juice. Set aside.
Bake the chicken for 20to
25 minutes, until cooked
through and beginning
to brown, basting
occasionally with the
marinade in the pan.
SOUTHEASTASIAN LETTUCEWRAPS
So fun to eat! Alternate
between nibbles of these
fresh, crisp lettuce wraps
and the garlicky chicken
and rice.
12 ounces firm tofu, cut
into 1/2-inch cubes, or
one catfish filet
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon fish sauce
pressing:
2 cloves garlic, peeled
and finely chopped
1/3 cup fish sauce
1/3 cup freshly squeezed
lime juice
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon Thai chili
sauce
Garnish:
peeled and finely chopped
cucumber
finely diced red onion
finely chopped cilantro,
mint and Serrano chilies,
with seeds
chopped roasted peanuts
Filling:
1 tablespoon peanut oil
Wrap:
Whole iceberg lettuce
leaves, washed and dried
Whisk together the
dressing ingredients in a
small serving bowl. Set
aside.
Prepare the garnish and
place on a large platter in
little piles or in individual
bowls.
Heat the peanut oil in a
heavy skillet over mediumhigh heat. Add the tofu
and let it cook, stirring,
occasionally, until it is
warmed through and
beginning to brown. Add
thesoysauc~sugarand
fish sauce. Cook, stirring,
for a few minutes, until
the flavorings fully coat
the tofu. (If you're using
catfish, cook the filet on
both sides until cooked
through and then add the
sauces and sugar to coat.)
Place the filling in a
bowl and serve with the
garnishes and dressing on
the side, place the lettuce
leaves on a separate
platter.
Fill the lettuce leaves with
tofu or catfish and garnish,
spooning the dressing
over each portion. Wrap
and eat out of her hands.
CHOCOLATE-LEMONGRASS
POTSOF CREME
Serve these with fresh
fruit and buttery cookies.
No need for utensils.
4 stalks of lemongrass
1 cup whole milk
1 cup heavy cream
4 ounces pure dark
chocolate (70% to 80%)
6 egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar
Cut off both the roots
and the thin ends of the
lemongrass, so you have
about four inches of the
bottom part of the stalk.
Pound the stalks with the
dull edge of a knife to
break them down a bit.
Cut them into slices and
put them in a small, heavy
saucepan.
Pour the milk and cream
into the saucepan and
heat slowly over mediumlow heat, until the mixture
is scalded but has not
boiled. Tiny bubbles
will form just under the
surface. Turn off heat,
coverandletsteepfor
30 minutes.
Meanwhile, chop the
chocolate into small
pieces and set it in a
medium metal bowl over
a saucepan of simmering
water to melt slowly,
stirring occasionally. Once
the chocolate is smooth,
turn off heat and let sit.
While the oven is
preheating to 300 degrees,
put the egg yolks in a
medium bowl and add the
sugar. Whisk vigorously
for about three or four
minutes until the yolks are
pale yellow and airy, and
the sugar has dissolved.
Set aside.
Set eight four-ounce
ramekins (creme br0lee
dishes) in a large roasting
pan. Pour water into the
roasting pan until it comes
halfway up the sides of the
ramekins.
Strain the cream into
the melted chocolate,
discarding lemongrass,
and whisk to combine.
Pour the mixture into a
blender and process until
there are no flecks of
chocolate.
Pour a few tablespoons
of the chocolate-cream
mixture into the egg yolks
and whisk to temper
them. Pour a little more
in, whisking until the egg
yolks are roughly the
same temperature as the
chocolate. Combine the two
completely and whisk well.
Pour the custard mixture
into the ramekins, dividing
it evenly. Cover the pan
with aluminum foil and
transfer it carefully to the
oven. Bake for 35 to 40
minutes, until the custards
are just barely set along
the edges and still liquid
inside. Allow to chill in the
refrigerator for at least two
hours before serving to
your lucky lady.
January/February
2010
I37
NAUGHTY OR NICE?
The gifts you didn't get last month, but should have.
THE NAUGHTY
1. SizeMatters
MileHigh'scompactanddiscreetTeaseMobile
IntimacyKitfits perfectlyintoa purseor coat
pocketandincludesa whisper-quiet
massager,
lube,condomsand-our fave-a lipstickmirror.
($23,mile-high.net)
0
2 Ge a Grip
Staveoff CarpelTunnelSyndrome
with the black
nylonandneopreneLa PalmaGloveby SpareParts
HardWear,
whichcanbe usedwith a dildoor alone
for masturbation.
Thebestpart?It hastwo little
pocketsonthe palmside,sothe wearercaninsert
the two minibulletvibratorsit comeswith.Andthe
carryingcaseattachesto a chainthatfits in your
pocket.($140,kittystoybox.com)
3 oubleDuty
Wishyouhada pleasuremachineso discreet
it wouldn'tgetsecurityguardsgigglingat the
airport?Trythe newTinge,a phthalate-free,
ecofriendlyelectricrazorthat is reallya vibrator.With
the capon it's a "massager,"
andwith it off it's a
realrazor.It's gota cordlesscharger(onecharge
offersovertwo dozen10-minuteuses)andcomes
with lubethat doesdoubleduty,too (shavegel
meetslube).($80,mytinge.com)
4 GiveMe a Hander Finger
OphoriaFingerVibesaresilicone-sleeved
onetouchtoysin a rainbowof popcolors.Simplyslide
the colorfulsheathoveryourfinger,pressthe button andgetto work.Yourhandneverfelt so good.
($14,goodvibes.com)
5 '80sRetroin a Lube
Wet'snewKiwiStrawberryFlavoredIntimacyGel
smellswonderful,likethosefruity LipSmackers
yourhighschoolcrushwore.I challengeyouto
useit withoutimagininga timewhenyourhormoneswereraging,the girlsall smelledso nice
andyoulongedto showthe worldyouwerea big
ol' dyke.($6,drugstore.com)
6 RubMyWormie& Rub y Due ·e Pirate
Yakall youwantaboutyourRabbitbutthere
is novibecuter(andmoreexcitingto leaveon
yourbathroomsheInthanthe I RubMy Duckie
in all its variousforms-from the originaltothe
RedDevilto thi super-cutenewPirate(one
morereasonto
of eiraKnightleywhile
you'rein thetu
likethe Duckie,the
RubMyWormie
like innocenttoy,
but it buzzesan
nubby
feet onthe
underside.
($21a up ed
tasy .com)
THE NICE
A , e nt
A
ar
Celebrating
your25th,butshe'snotthetypeto
wearjewelry?Trythe upscale,urbansterlingsilver
belts(likeFishtail,Guava,Ice)fromJill Platneras a
gift she'llreallylove.($990andup,jillplatner.com)
8. ay It rorward
Spreadthe lovewith a gift from HeartIs Hot.
Theseglassheartsaremadefrom recycledglass
in accordance
with eco-friendlyprocesses,
and
$2 of the purchasepricegoesto charity.($25,
heartishot.com)
10 Sc e Tia ition
HelpyourrecentlydumpedfriendcelebrateV-Day
by movingon withthe Break-UpKit,whichcomes
with a RunLoserRuntee,handmade
voodoodoll,
icecreamscoop,a breakupjournalandinstructions
for howto safelyburnthe stuffyourex left behind.
($99,tarakits.com)
Warm ndCi ly
Janska'sfleeceArmWarmersareperfectfor chilly 11 E 1bleDelectable
Forthe ultimatesensoryValentine'sDay,cover
EastCoastwinters.Theyhugcomfortably,
elbow
to hand,andslidenicelyundera wintercoat,while yoursweetin EarthlyBody'sediblemassageoil or
dripsomecandy-flavored
wax,whichdoublesas
glovesglideoverthemwith ease.TheirPolartec
MocSocks
with contrastinglegwarmersaregreat massageoil,ontoherbody.Givehera tastybody
rubyou'llbothremember.
($15,earthlybody.com)
for indoors.($19,janska.com)
n - 's
Sure,youwantto hideyour"maritalaids"from
Mom'sunexpected
drop-inbutthe DevineToy
BoxandDevineSatchelareboth,well,divinefor
storingplentyof otherthingstoo,fromjewelryand
makeupto old lovelettersandvintagewatches.
Theboxeslookamazing(welovedthe pinkcorset
andthe redfauxcroc)andonlytwo keysin the
worldopenit (onefor youandonefor her).($40,
edenfantasys.
com)
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By Beren DeMotier,
Stephanie Schroeder,
Edie Stull and Diane
Anderson-Minshall
CANDY DISH OF THE DAMNED
One lesbian has a moment of truth. By Stacy Bias
?
■
WHATIS
YOUR
MOST
COMMON
SEXDREAM?
3%
Being
"taken"
%
Seducinga
friend
13%
A celebrity
liaison
Somewhere around the time I was watching a woman willingly
being dragged by her ankles and turned upside down, having
a speculum inserted and becoming a human candy dish as a
11%
crowd of onlookers tossed colorful candies towards her in a
Public
nookie debauched game of horseshoes, I realized that I was standing
at a crossroads.
According
to a curveA container of candy was slowly being passed down
mag.compoll
the row of giddy onlookers-their
hands reaching in and
launching the inevitable seeds of a really bad yeast infection.
I shifted in my seat. Between myself and the certainty of hell,
2%
Hookingup
with my ex
Gravity Plays
Favorites
there were exactly 12 hands and a Tupperware container. I
was going to have to make a decision.
I've had a couple of these moments in my life. I call them
"Snap" moments because they feel like the emotional equivalent
of a rubber band being stretched as far as it can go without
snapping. In this case, the two ends of the rubber band, curled
around an opposing metaphorical thumb and forefinger, are
"New Me" and "Old Me": New Me being this strangely
empowered, innately curious, highly sexed and (apparently)
morally bankrupt queer femme. Old Me being the churcher
w
0
going, God-fearing, doe-eyed innocent of my youth.
z
w
Cl
The first Snap moment came a few months prior to the
a:
w
a..
candy experience as I drove with my good friend toward the
>!.
Oregon coast. The week previous I had received a Tarot read0
~
ing from the "pussy psychics" at a local BDSM vendor fair.
~
:O
Gathered around a table, clad entirely in pink faux fur and 'b
i 0
marabou, we clasped hands and bowed heads. Admittedly, I ' ~
was skeptical-but havingjust escaped a painfully vanilla, six- < g
w
~
year, monogamous relationship where a trip to Home Depot
w
:J
0
was the most exciting part of most weekends, I was more than
w
..J
a:
grateful for a little bit of weird. I overcame my hesitation and
:J
!Q.
committed to the surrealism of it all as the pussy psychics
a:
w
z
swayed, hummed tunelessly and nodded knowingly at one
z
0
0
another. My "pussy vibes" were accordingly absorbed by
a:
(/)
osmosis and the cards were cut. Frankly, I felt a little violated:J
u
a:
<{
but the resulting reading, unsurprisingly, zoomed in on my
(/)
~
Candy Dish of the Damned continued on page 62
MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS
Whileperformers
MichelleMynxandKatrina
Dohlmayhavetakentheirtroupename-GravityPlaysFavorites-froma Dresden
Dolls
song,theirsexybrandof performance
art is
fullyoriginalandmayhaveyoulookingat the
stripper'spolein a differentlight.In theSt.
Louis-based
performers'
trademarkburlesque
dance,bothwomenworkthepolesimultaneously,in perfectharmony.
"It involves
a lotof trustandlove,"says
Mynx.It's nowonderthatsheandDohlsteam
upthestage.Asformerlovers,thetwodisplay
a strikingchemistry
thatgoesbeyond
just
plainteamwork.
"Sheis oneof thebestfriends
thatI'veeverhadin life,"saysMynx."Our
relationship
transcends
anytitlethatyoucan
givea relationship."
40
Icurve
Thetwo dancers,who met while they
wereemployedat a strip club,cameup with
their partneringpolework as a practicality.
"Themainstagehadthree poleson it but the
satellitestagesonly hadone,"saysMynx."We
still wantedto dancetogetherbut both of us
wantedto be on the pole.Sowe founda way
to do that."
Makingtheir debutas a duo at 2005'sVenus
Envy,a women'sart festival,Mynxand Dohl
havesincetakentheir act to Swedenandhave
evenopenedfor the DresdenDolls.
WhileGravity'sact doesinvolvea pole,nudity
is not actuallya given."Wedon't mindeither
way," saysMynx."It just kind of dependson
the situationandthe type of eventthat it is."
However,sheadmits,"It's har
us to tone
BUMP-N-GRIND MEDIA
BOOKS
In BurlesqueWest:Showgirls,
Sex,and Sin in PostwarVancouver
(utpress.utoronto.ca),
Becki L. Ross
depicts the twisting history of the
travelingbur1esque
scenein a stylethat
is as rich andintriguingas the dancers
sheportrays.Urgingthe readerto shedany
preconceivednotions,Rossunveils,layerby
layer,the complexdynamicsof professional
dancing,givingvoiceto previouslyunheralded
club owners,patronsand performersthrough
50first-personaccounts.Eachchaptershows
the industry,and the womenwho formed
its backbone,madefeministcontributions
to modernconceptsof femalesexuality.
Resonatingwith the strugglesand victoriesof
queerwomentoday,the book bringsto light
howfemaleperformersin the 1940sradically
rejectedthe stereotypicalrole of woman-asmother-and-wifeto becomesexualand gender
outlawsin their own right.
Thoughshining an academiclight on what
happensbehindthe curtains of adult entertainmentisn't a novel idea,the anglesfrom which
Rossapproachesthe subject matter are
unique.Chapterfive, for example,examines
agingin the industry and why "everyone
wantedto date a dancer,[but] nobodywanted
to marry one."Throughoutthe entire book,
Rossmakessure to cut acrosslines of race,
class,genderand sexuality,evenstopping
to look at the placeof queeridentitiesin the
it downthan it is for us to bring it up."
As a lover of manygenresof dance,Mynx
explainsthat no two Gravityshowsare the
same."We'vedonetraditional burlesqueand
crazymoderncarnivalshows,"saysMynx."We
learnedthat we love so manydifferent types of
music,and that gaveus a chanceto performto
everything,from crazy hard punk rock to traditional old jazzy burlesquemusic,to etherealsoundingperformanceart music."
Whennot practicing her strengthmoves
or donatingher time to the Illinois Sexual
AssaultVictimsUnit,Mynxteachesacrobatic
polework while Dohlstudiesdance.Theact,
though,remainstheir main passion."We do
our best to makea living out of it," says Mynx.
"We'renot exactly rolling in [money]but we're
makingends meetby doingwhat makesus
happy."[BrianaHernandez]
often heterocentric,yet homoerotic,business
of selling fantasies.Thebook endswith the
demiseof Vancouver'sthriving burlesque
scene,telling of the dancers'losing battle with
the "unstoppableMcDonalidizationof their
trade," which flattenedthe individualityof the
performersand transformedtheir profession
into what onewomancalls the "mega-quick
buck,shaky-shaky,wet T-shirt shit."
Rosspromisesto "intellectuallytantalize,"
and she doesso in a work that removesmore
than fishnet stockingsto revealpride and
heartbreak,victories and wit.
In Burlesqueand the New
Bump 'n' Grind(speckpress.
com),MichelleBaldwin(aka
VivienneVaVoom,founder
of one of the earliest neoburlesquetroupes)givesus
a great intro to burlesquepast and present.In
this highly visual coffeetablebook,Baldwin
coversthe neo-burlesquesceneacrossthe
UnitedStatesas well as someof the great
queerperformersin it. And she compares
today's burlesquescenewith its roots (in the
1800s,for example,sometroupeswouldn't
allow womenunder150pounds-the standard
of beautyat the time-while today's troupes
go againstthe beautystandardemployedby
mainstreamculture).Thebook's only flaw is
inherentin the artform it chronicles:Things
changequickly, so someperformersin the
book are retired or no longerliving, but it
is a must-readfor anyoneinterestedin the
subversiveart of stageseduction.
FILM
DeirdreTimmons'first documentary,
A Winkand
a Smile(firstrunfeatures.com),
peeksbehindthe
glitz of burlesqueto follow 10 "ordinary"women
as theylearnthe businessfrom MissIndigoBlue,
a queer,award-winningburlesqueperformer
andinstructorbasedin Seattle,Wash.In this
beautifullyshotfilm, vignettesstarringSeattle's
professionaldancerspunctuatea story linethat
followsthe students'rockyjourneythroughthe
class.Honestinterviewswith the womenabout
femalesexuality,bodyissuesandwhat learning
burlesquemeansto themwill teaseyourbrain
andpull on yourheartstrings.Thoughthe ending
cuts shortthe students'graduationperformances,you'reboundto leavethe theaterempowered
andwishingthat you,too,livedin Seattle.[Yana
Tallon-Hicks
andDianeAnderson-Minshall)
HYPER ACTIVITY
Next time you're in New York City,
go see HyperGender Burlesque at
the Wow Cafe Theater. A creation
of JZ Bich and N (probably not
their real names), HyperGender
Burlesque (hypergender.com)
is the country's first post-neoburlesque show, which combines
political and performance art with
video, drag, lip synching, poetry,
sideshows and, basically, all that is
radically queer in the city's underground art scene. It's NC-17 but
beautifully provocative and full of
wonderful full-frontal nudity, which
is far from the most shocking
element you'll see on the HyperGender stage that night. [DAM]
January/February
2010
I41
TROUBLE WITH A CAPITALT
Filmmaker Courtney Trouble and the New Queer Porn scene.
By Lori Selke
At first glance, Courtney Trouble is just another typically
arty San Francisco resident, with her fun and funky sense of
style, a small dog named Cookie Party, a home office in her
Victorian flat and lots of reclaimed furniture in the backyard.
But she's also the brightest star in the new and burgeoning
genre of queer porn. She is a headlining director with Good
Releasing-the filmmaking offspring of the famous sex-positive
shop Good Vibrations-and
producing videos is now her
full-time job. She has seven finished features in the can and
more in the works, and she hasn't even been there a year. Her
career, it's safe to say, is about to take off. With fireworks.
Queer porn is a small but growing genre that incorporates a
potpourri of alternative sexualities-lesbians, gay men, trans
men and trans women, genderqueers, kinky folks, femmes,
butches and more-and
performers of all races, ethnicities
and body types. Queer porn star Jiz Lee, who appears in the
first three of Trouble's videos, says that queer porn is crossing gender and orientation boundaries, showcasing a larger
spectrum of sexuality.
For Lee, that's the essence of queerness. "The definition of
queer is supposed to have some kind of combative [stance]"
against rigid categorization and received ideas. In fact, queer
porn deliberately plays with and against stereotypes. "I think
it's reflective of a lot of queer art forms ... take a definitive
icon and queer it;' Lee says. Thus, Trouble's movies feature
"queered" takes on stereotypical porn tropes. In one upcoming
project, for example, Lee plays a pizza delivery boy"who's not
invited in!" she laughs. Another, more complex example is the
"deep throat" scene in Trouble's second video, Nostalgia.
Nostalgia is a collection of scenes taken from classic film
pornography and reimagined from a queer perspective. In the
second scene, Madison Young re-enacts an iconic moment
from Deep Throat, only this time she "is sucking on silicone
cocks. She's not getting anybody else off;' says Trouble. "She's
strictly doing it for her own pleasure. Being able to take controversial scenes like that one and making them very visibly
feminist and very visibly about female pleasure and our true
desires is something that I think about all the time:'
Lee, however, believes that the finale (a.k.a. the "suicide"
scene from Devil in Miss Jones-now remade with voluptuous
cover girl April Flores as the star) is the truest encapsulation
of Trouble's aesthetic.
"If there was a clip that was going to sum up what her work
is like ... that clip would probably be it;' Lee insists. Not just
the set-up, where Flores articulates a desire to experience, for
the first time, "lust, queer lust;' but also "the music aspect, the
cinematic levels that she plays with, and the vibe to it. The
blood that drips at the end has glitter in it, you know?"
Another key to Trouble's process is her collaborative approach.
"I think queer porn is a world where the directors take a
backseat when it comes to the sex acts;' the director says. Lee
says that's one of the reasons she likes working with Trouble:
"I like the collaborative aspect. I think it's an integral part of
the way she works and thinks:'
Trouble aspires to depict "people who are having sex the
way they want to have it, and they're really enjoying themselves:' For her, the definitive example of this is the gangbang
scene in her first feature, Roulette. The star of the scene, Rozen
DeBowe, chose the theme and the setting, and Trouble made
sure to depict her as the one orchestrating the whole scene,
from the bottom up.
While relatively new to feature films, Trouble has a long
history in the queer arts. She began her porn production career
in 2002 with a small website called NoFauxxx.com. She was
19 years old, a budding photographer, crazy about Riot Grrrl
life and filled with ideas about how to authentically represent
nonmainstream sexualities and desires. She wrote a mission
statement that called out cultural appropriation and emphasized art, inclusive casting, a female and trans-friendly perspective, negotiation, consent and respect.
"I started the project to see what would happen;' she says.
Little did she know that she was taking the first steps toward
the queer porn revolution.
NoFauxxx.com was a modest success for Trouble, riding the coattails of the alt-porn revolution. Alt-porn is a
genre typified and represented by the well-known Suicide
Girls-think
pierced and tattooed punk, goth and skater
girls. The unexpected success of the Suicide Girls franchise
attracted a younger audience and a slew of younger, artier
photographers and directors to produce the content their
audience demanded.
But from the beginning,
oFauxxx.com was different.
Trouble describes the state of alt-porn in 2002 as "a lot of
skinny, white, straight-identified or straight-presenting women:' That was frustrating to her, and she wanted to explore a
different sort of alternative, one that queer women had been
clamoring for.
"Fans of alt-porn like NoFauxxx because I have a lot of altporn models from other alt-porn sites;' she says. "But on my
site, they're doing something completely different. I try to get
people as close to their authentic environment and their authentic desires as possible. I shot [fetish star] Lorelei Lee in
her bedroom, surrounded by her books:•
In 2006, Trouble started filming clips for what would become Roulette. It took three years to make. Working around
day jobs, a lack of funding and other hazards ("I actually didn't
own my own video camera;' she notes), Trouble taught herself
the craft of video-making scene-by-scene. "I learned how to
make movies through making that first one;' she confesses.
"My goal with it at the time was to make a DVD that was
one of those porn DVDs that you leave out on the coffee
table or you put on your bookshelf, because it's a conversation piece;' says Trouble. "I wanted something that was accessible enough for people to talk about, and something different enough that people would talk about it:' Originally,
she intended to produce and market Roulette independently,
through her website. As it happened, however, Good
Vibrations was just starting up its sister film company, intending to produce three new lines of sexually explicit movies. The
head of Good Releasing saw a rough cut of Roulette and not
only offered to distribute it for Trouble, but also wanted to
sign her on as a director for their proposed new line of queerthemed films, Real Queer Productions.
"Its happened really, really fast;' Trouble says. Where her
first movie took three years to make, her second took only
ODE TO MACHO SLUTS
I remember walking away from A Different
Light Bookstore in the late '80s, with a shrinkwrapped copy of Pat Califia's pioneering book
Macho Sluts tucked under my arm, the button
that had been packaged with it already proudly
pinned to my lapel. I would sport that button for
years to come, a proud identifier to the world
at large that I was a "Macho Slut." This was a
time when the word "queer" was still derogatory, lesbians were still using "womyn" instead of "women" and
Macho Sluts-with its stories of dyke bathhouses, sex parties
and girl-girl SIM-shocked everyone. It also set the stage for the
formation of a real women's leather community.
Califia-who transitioned from female to male a decade ago
and now goes by Patrick-was the first to write expertly and
unabashedly about the kink potential of lesbian sex and he set
off a firestorm that went far beyond the lesbian community.
Macho Sluts became the focal point of the most famous censorship battles between Little Sister's bookstore in Vancouver and
Canadian Customs.
Which is why this new edition, part of Arsenal Pulp's Little Sister's
LGBT Classics series, is still such an important read. It has a
magnificent new forward by Califia {which should prove to doubters
why a book written by a lesbian who now identifies as a man is still
worth your time} as well as essays by a co-owner of Little Sister's
and the chief counsel in the trial against Canadian Customs.
Reading it again this week, I was reminded of how 20 years
ago, the book was more than porn-it radicalized and appropriated
pleasure and became a canon in the lesbian sex wars, a tome
that pushed everyone to think beyond what second wave lesbian
feminists taught us about sex. Famed novelist Dorothy Allison
called Califia's work, "lucid, intelligent, brave, and true." A more
accurate assessment is hard to find. [DianeAnderson-Minshall]
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January/February
2010
I43
,
••..
TAlllSII
111111
..
From sonic-busting heavy metal riffs to tasty jazz progressions, these
women can really play. Yep, some are gay, too. By Jamie Anderson
Quick, name a really great guitarist. Who came to mind? Jimi Hendrix? Eddie Van Halen? Carlos Santana? Sure,
these guys are famous for their fingerwork, but there are plenty of underappreciated female guitarists who can play
a page black with notes before they have their morning coffee. Here, in no particular order, are 20 female pickers
who really know their way around a six-string.
partner Anne Hackler run the Institute for
the Musical Arts, a nonprofit dedicated to
supporting female musicians.
~
blues women of the past as well
as showcasing her own work.
: 4. LitaFordbegan her career alongside Joan
: Jett in the groundbreaking '70s band the
I Runaways. Look beyond the cleavageI popping outfits and you'll see one of the best
heavy metal guitarists there is, hands down.
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0
I
1."If I want to wang dang rock 'n'
roll at 69 years old dressed up in an
antebellum dress it ain't nobody's
business but mine;' said rockabilly
innovator CordellJackson,who
could do anything she damn well
wanted-and that included playing
circles around better-known players like
Brian Setzer of Stray Cats.
5. If you ever went to a Michael
Jackson concert, you couldn't
have missed JenniferBatten-the
guitar-wielding blonde with a
mohawk. Not only can she scream
through the Van Halen solo in
"Beat Ir;' but she can play "Flight
of the Bumblebee" -on the
freakin' guitar.
6. You may not know
AllisonRobertson
by name,
but surely you've heard of
2. It'd be easy to dismiss the late SisterRosetta the Donnas. Guitar Player
called her "a viciously
Tharpebecause she was a gospel performer,
but this Arkansas-native guitarist could wail
balls-out guitar player
with the best of them. Tharpe's screaming
who has burned just
electric guitar stylings influenced everyone
about every metal riff ever
from Johnny Cash to Aretha Franklin.
recorded into her DNA:'
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~
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8. Jimi Hendrix was one of the greatest
blues-rock guitarists ever, and KellyRichey
can play his song"Hey Joe" note for note,
some of it behind her back. She's no slouch
on her own tunes either and damn, she'll
make you sweat.
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15
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9. LauraChavezis just 27 and already has the
jaw-dropping skill of a much older player.
She's based in the
San Francisco
Bay Area, where
she teaches and
performs. ....__;(
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3. Move forward to the 60s
and you'll find JuneMillington,
the cofounder of Fanny, one
of the first all female bands
signed to a major label. Today
Millington and her long-time
44
Icurve
-
7. DelReypicked up a guitar at
the tender age of 4 and never put
it down. She's universally known
as one of the best acoustic players,
male or female. Rey's live shows are
filled with covers of songs by great
10. No list of great
blues players is complete without Bonnie
Raitt.If you listen to
her rip through the
licks on "Love Me
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ill
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play like chat, I'd sit at home and entertain
myself all day:'
Like A Man" you'd be hard pressed to say she
doesn't know what she's doing.
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11. Elizabeth
Cottenwas a self-taught guitarist
who played left-handed and upside down.
As a kid, she penned the folk classic"Freight
Train" and was rediscovered years later,
working as a housekeeper for Pete Seeger's
family. She went on to perform many gigs,
including a show at the National Women's
Music Festival in the '80s.
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12. It's a tenet of lesbian
law that EmilySaliersbe
on this list, but really,
she'd have made it on
skill alone. Her creative
stylings and chord
choices define the
Indigo Girls' sound.
13. VickiGenfanwas the only woman in the
Guitar Superstar 2008 contest, sponsored
by Guitar Player magazine. Her slap-harmonies and tapping style couldn't be topped
by the other nine finalists. When she won,
one of the judges commented, "If I could
14. Singer-songwriter Patty~
Larkinis a staple of any
~
women's music fest, and
with good reason. Her
layered guitar style and
honest lyrics hold her audience spell-bound. In 2005
she released La Guitara,
a compilation of songs by
women guitarists. And like
many on chis list, she's a
sister. Be still, our hearts.
15. NinaGerberis a versatile acoustic and
electric guitarist who got her start playing
with folk singer Kate Wolf. She's known
mostly as a side player for greats like Nanci
Griffith and Ferron, but she's also put out
her own recordings, featuring vocalists like
Vicki Randle.
18. Jazz is one of the most challenging
genres of music to play, and EmilyRemlerwas
comfortable with all its formsfusion, bebop, traditional, you
name it. She started recording in
1981 and went on to work with
veterans like Rosemary Clooney
and Larry Coryell. The world lost a
great guitarist when Remler passed
away in 1990; she was only 32.
19. MaryFordmay have been
over-shadowed by her now
deceased husband Les Paul,
legendary guitarist and inventor
of the modern electric guitar. But
Ford, a skilled guitarist and singer, could
match him note for note.
20. MimiFoxis another amazing jazz
player. She's performed with jazz greats like
Charlie Byrd and Branford Marsalis and
never fails to blow audiences away. \
16. Finger-style acoustic
player KakiKingis a mad
scientist with restless
fingers and a head for
memorable melodies. Her
fourth album, Dreaming
of Revenge, was released
in March 2008.
17. Even if you don't know Bach from
Beethoven, you know chat as a department
chair at Juilliard, Sharonlsbinhas got to be
great. She's a gay Grammy Award-winner
who performed at the White House for
the Obamas last November. ~
0
~
!!l
There are so many more who deserve to
be on the list, like Muriel Anderson, Joan
Armatrading, Kara Barnard, Maybelle
Carter, Sue Foley, Ellen Mcllwaine, Joni
Mitchell, Nancy Wilson and Janis Ian to
name a few. Who else did we miss:' Send a
note to letters@curvemag.com ■
I
January/February 201 O 45
he couple is in San Francisco for the Frameline film
, festival premiere of their romantic comedy And Then
Came Lola, in which the real-life couple heat up the
screen as former flames. If their on-screen chemistry
seems genuine, in person it's palpable. Through all
the madness that surrounds them (especially
at the many festivals last year, where the film
was a huge hit), the two sneak intimate moments, frequently
stepping away to steal a kiss or a hug. However, relations
between the two weren't always so friendly. The duo joke
about their first meeting, and how it wasn't exactly love at first
sight. Having crossed paths briefly on the set of the lesbian
film Out at the Wedding, Bennett admits, "I didn't know Cathy
all that well. We spent a little bit of time, actually, in the trailer
when we were shooting our scene for Out at the Wedding. She
was really distracted and not all that interested in talking to
me, so I didn't really have a good opinion of Cathy. And then
we kind of both rolled our eyes, respectively, when we found
out we were playing ex-girlfriends in this film. So, once we
got on-set and we actually got to know each other, and let our
guard down and talked to each other as human beings, I was
like, Oh, she's not so bad. She's actually kind of cool:'
DeBuono had preconceived notions of her own. "Honestly,
I had never gotten to know Jill after we did Out at the Wedding.
We'd run into each other maybe once or twice, but my feeling
about it was that she was kind of icy and off-putting:'
DeBuono had concerns about how the lack of personal
chemistry would affect their performance as former lovers in
Lola. "I wasn't really thrilled about the fact that I was going
to be doing these really, sort 0£ warm and fuzzy scenes with
her, because I wasn't sure that we were going to be able
to connect."
So DeBuono reached out to Bennett and invited her to
meet for coffee, which proved to be a turning point in their
relationship. Soon the two began to feel more than a professional chemistry.
"When we met and got to know each other, we definitely
recognized that there was ... something else brewing under
the surface;' Bennett explains. ''.And we went through our
own process, each of us individually, of trying to figure out
what this was:'
"I was far too irresistible!" DeBuono quips.
''.And modest. That's part of her charm;' laughs Bennett.
"The thing that you're warned of as an actor is that the
chemistry you find on a set is not real. What we do is sort
of strange, and Cathy and I had to get into bed together and
film very intimate love scenes, most of which, unfortunately,
did not make it into the movie. But you're creating this sort
of false intimacy and you know it's no secret that actors fall
in love on movie sets all the time, and the truth is that most
of the time it's not real:'
........ove On the Run
EllenSeidler,the directorand
co-producerof the wonderfully
fun lesbianrompAnd ThenCame
Lola,saysshemerelywantedto
"makesomethingfor lesbians,by
lesbiansandaboutlesbians."
Thefilm is the secondcollaborationbetweenSeidlerandMegan
Siler,whoalsoco-produced
the
feature.It wasan ideaSilersays
shehad"bouncingaroundfor a
longtime.I wantedto makea sexy
lesbianfilm, becausethere'sa real
shortageof greatsexyfilms in the
lesbianmarket.Wewantedto do
somethingfun,wherethe girl gets
the girl."
And ThenCameLolatook over
two yearsto complete,in part
becauseof the duo'shecticschedules.Siler,whoteachesscreenwritingandfilm productionfor UC
BerkeleyExtension,
won numerous
awardsfor herfeature-lengthfilm
TheMidwife'sTaleandherdocumentarySingleMothers:Living
Onthe Edge.Hermostrecentfilm,
ToxicBust:Chemicals
andBreast
Cancer,wonthe prestigiousCine
GoldenEagleAward,andis being
usedby environmental
healthand
breastcanceradvocatesaround
the country.
Seidleris a 25-yearveteranof
film andbroadcast
journalism.She
hasworkedfor ABCNewsin New
YorkandKRON-TV
in SanFrancisco
andis nowa lecturerin digital
mediaat UCBerkeley'sGraduate
Schoolof Journalismanda tenured
professorof mediaandcommunicationartsat ContraCostaCollege
in SanPablo,Calif.Shehasworked
on a varietyof indiefilms,including
the LindaHunt-narrated
documentary Fightingfor OurLives:Facing
AIDSin SanFrancisco.
LolagaveSeidlerandSiler
a chanceto dosomecreative
fundraising.
"Moneywasdefinitely
the biggestobstacle,"saysSeidler.
"Wehada few peoplecomein
andmakesomedonations,
we
got a coupleof loans,andwe
borrowedagainstour houseand
our retirementfunds... but no risk,
no reward.It tooka lot of talented
peoplecomingtogetherto make
the projectwhatit was."
In the film, Lolais an adorably
recklessandnotoriouslytardy
lesbianwho hasthreechances
to get thingsrightandsaveher
relationshipwith her partner.
Afterauditioning
about100actors
andstill notfindinganyonetheyfelt
carriedoffthesensibilities
of the
film,Seidlersuggested
theystart
lookingfor openlyqueeractors.
"Weneededto findgood
actresses
whowouldreallyget
behindthefilm andsupportit," Siler
says."I thinkyougeta lot moreof
thatfroma lesbianactress.I don't
thinkthat'sa requirement,
that
theactressbegay... butif you're
straightandyouhaveto enterthe
gaysubculture,
youdon'tnecessar-
ily havea reference
point.Whoever
we castto playthe leadsneededto
becomfortable
withthesexuality,
andfeelreallycomfortable
climbing
inthe sackwithanotherwoman."
"I didn'tthink I wasrightfor
Lola,"AshleighSumner,
the adorablerustyblondewholanded
the leadrole,admits."I thoughtI
wastoo young.AndI thoughtthey
wantedmoreof a Shane-from-The
L Wordtypecharacter."
Thoughshe'sthrilledto be
playinggay,Sumnersays,"I am
anactresswhohappensto begay
andnotthe otherwayaround.This
is thefirst gayroleI havedone.
I wantto be sucha goodactor
that my sexualityis secondto my
performance.
Whenpeoplelookat
someonelike CherryJoneswho
haswontwo TonyAwards,they
don'tthink CherryJones-the
lesbian.Theythink Cherry
Jones-the actress.She'sfucking
brilliant."[JenniferCorday]
Cautious, the two waited to explore the budding relationship until they were sure they were no longer under the spell
of the movie set. "When we came back to our real life, we
started to realize that this was real;' says Bennett. "This wasn't
just some on-set chemistry that turned into a real relationship.
There was something there, but it definitely took some time,
for me at least, in my head, to get good with it. Because again,
there are a lot of traps with getting involved with an actor. But
I can say that once we decided that we could no longer stay
away from each other, there was no stopping the train:'
DeBuono kisses her partner, grinning from ear to ear. "The
more time went on;' she says, "the more we realized that it was
absolutely based on something real:'
Something else very real to the couple is their commitment
to gay rights activism. And they take a very hands-on approach
to helping their community and raising awareness about the
injustice of inequality. Following the passage of Prop. 8, the
couple began attending same-sex marriage rallies, taking a
video camera with them.
"Putting [footage] up on the Internet was for me a part of
documenting gay history. We are obviously at a huge crossroads in our community. We have to show them what's going
on here, because this will go down in the history books as
being the second Stonewall. It's a very deeply personal issue
for me. In my lifetime I want to see us getting equal rights;'
says Bennett.
"Prop. 8 just really lit a fire under a lot of our butts;'
DeBuono adds. "Not just Jill and I, but most of the gay community finally woke up and went, Really? Wait a second, I
guess we need to fight for this. And we all sort of got together,
which was the blessing in disguise about Prop. 8:'
DeBuono is also calling for a new gay rights rallying cry to
replace the outdated demand for tolerance. "I think tolerance
was a really good idea at first, because something just needed
to stop the crisis of the violence and the immediate hatred;'
she says. "When you talk about tolerance, I think of a noisy
neighbor that you're tolerating. It's offensive to you, what you
are tolerating. And it's offensive to me, that holding the hand
of the person I love, you have to tolerate that:' Adding,"! think
it's time for us to move beyond tolerance to being acceptable:'
It was this kind of passion that found the two, camera in
hand, storming a Mormon temple after Prop. 8 passed.
"It came at a time of intense anger, frustration, and we
needed to get this out of our systems;' explains Bennett. "The
bottom line is that religion has no place in our government.
It has no place in our laws. So we went that day and we were
ready to jump over that fence to get arrested. We called Tracy
Gilchrist [editor in chief of She Wired.com] and we said, Tracy
weve got an idea but we need the bail money. If we jump the
fence and get it on tape, will you bail us out of jail? She was like,
Let me get back to you:'
For DeBuono, it was an expression of her new, proactive
strategy.
"I think the storming of the Mormon temple falls under the
category of tolerance no longer being enough ... because we've
been too quiet, weve been too polite, we've been willing to not
rock the boat as long as people just don't kill us for who we
love. That's what storming the Mormon temple was about for
me. It was, really, I'm not being polite anymore. I'm not going
to live and let live, as people like to say:'
Bennett acknowledges that the decision to jump the fence
was a controversial one. "There's been a lot of talk in the
gay community on whether or not it was right to target the
Mormon Church:' But she stands behind her decision. "I
personally believe it is right to target the Mormon Church,
not them specifically-obviously, we can't condemn an entire
religion, but the fact remains that a large portion of the funding
for Prop. 8 came out of the Mormon Church. I heard about
families who don't even live in California who were taking out
mortgages on their houses to give 20 and 30 thousand dollars. I
had a couple of Mormon boys come to my door, and I told my
roommate, 'You'd better answer it, because if I do, this is not
going to be pretty: I am still angry. They deserve to see it. They
deserve to know that if they do this again, our community
will be on their ass and there's a very fine line that I think we
have to walk with letting them know that we know what happened, but not going overboard with the targeting. I don't
want us to do what they're doing-I don't want us to become
that. But us pointing out that you people raised money to send
"I think
tolerance
was a really
good idea at
first, because
something
just needed
to stop the
crisis of the
violence ...
I think it's
time for us to
move beyond
tolerance
to being
acceptable."
-Cathy
DeBuono
"This wasn't
just some
on-set
chemistry
that turned
into a real
relationship
... But I can
say that
once we
decided that
we could no
longer stay
away from
each other,
there was no
stopping the
train."
-Jill Bennett
so I curve
to a state that you don't even live in, to affect our lives, is not
OK with us. It's not acceptable:'
Lest you chink life is all rallies and guerilla activism for
Bennett and DeBuono, the fact is that being out and visible in
Hollywood is their greatest form of protest.
"There was a girl that'd written to me from, like, South
Dakota a couple of years ago;' Bennett recalls. "She went on
and on about how impressive it is chat were our in chis industry, and it made me think, It's bigger that you're out. You're out
in a place where it's not easy to be out. I'm in West Hollywood,
and, yes, I'm an actor, and that's like a whole ocher part of my
life, but people who are out in a community where it's not OK
to be means so much more than somebody, say, who's sort
of closeted (and] gives $100,000 to the HRC. To me, those
people who actually live their lives out and proud are much
braver ... than certain other people:'
Bennett-who
made her TV debut on the original Beverly
Hills 90210, is a main cast member on Dante's Cove and has
starred in several indie films (such as In Her Line of Fire,with
Mariel Hemingway)-says,
"My patience and tolerance for
closeted celebrities is waning by the day. It really is. I'm having
a really difficult time with people that I know are gay and
who just won't say it. So that's how I feel. I feel our heroes are
people in cities and countries around the world where it's not
easy to be gay and they're out anyway. They're my heroesthose are the people I really admire:'
DeBuono agrees. The once-closeted college athlete was
heading for Olympic glory when she tore an ACL. She moved
into acting at the urging of classmate Ashley Judd. Though
she has guest starred on numerous television shows, including
The Pretenderand ChicagoHope, her big break came with the
TV series Star Trek: Deep SpaceNine. Originally cast as Terry
Farrell's body double, she lacer played several roles, including
Darbo girl M'Pella, as well as the Breen, a Vulcan baseball
player and a Klingon warrior.
"There was never a question as to whether or not to be out;'
she says. 'Tm just by nature a loudmouth instigator, so, no
honestly, there was no decision making. I just said I'm simply
going to be out. I pretty much informed my manager that I
had no intention of being closeted. And he said, 'Well, can you
at least just say that you're bisexual?' and I said, J\bsolutely
not. I'm not bisexual and obviously all his concern [was]
about how this is going to affect my career, and chat it probably would. And I said, 'Well, then it will: I can't spend my life
being closeted for ocher people's comfort. Ir's not comfortable
for me;' says Bennett.
"For me, it was kind of the same thing;' says DeBuono.
"There was never a day in my life where I thought I would
stay in the closet. I could not possibly live that way. I could
not possibly hide. When you choose to do that, you choose
to keep away the authentic relationships that you could be
having in your life, and you're essentially lying to everybody
in your life, and you're not making any room for those people
who might walk away from you because you're gay. If you
need to walk away from me because I'm gay, I welcome that. I
want you to. And that makes room in my life for people that
I can have full, whole relationships [with J:'
The couple also took part in Adam Bouska's NO HS photo
campaign. "We were lucky enough to be on the tail end of
Kathy Griffin's shoot, so we got there and her mom-it was
her and her mom and all of her assistants or whatever-and
we went in and then all the girls from Sweet [the lesbian travel
company] got there, and Kathy was coming out and she goes,
'Hello, lesbians!' and we were all, 'We love you, Kathy
Griffin!'" laughs Bennett.
Their shared passion for acting and personal relationship
has led the actors to work together on multiple projects,
DeBuono explains. "We actually discovered, not only did we
sort of enjoy each other's company socially, in terms of having
conversations and being able to connect with people, but we
really enjoyed working together:'
The couple are currently lensing season two of their smash
viral hit, We Have to Stop Now, a web series, that, along with
Bennett and DeBuono as a therapist couple who are in therapy,
stars the our comic Suzanne Westenhoefer as their therapist.
Ironically, the web series is a perfect fir for DeBuono, who, in
addition to her acting credits, is a licensed psychotherapist.
The two developed the series along with director Robyn
Dettman and writer Ann Noble. "We wanted to do that with
We Have to Stop Now, and to have it be about these two people
and their relationship and their everyday lives;' explains
DeBuono. "What we really wanted to do ... was create a gay
show that's not necessarily a gay show. Ir's a human show. And
if you watch these characters, there's no dildo jokes. There's no
coming out stories .... What we really wanted to do was have
a show that wasn't just about sex because gay series tend to be
sex-related .... We wanted to make a point that there's more
profundity in our lives and there's more life in our lives:'
The series clearly hit the right note with viewers around
the globe-the press release, according to DeBuono, has been
translated into more then 20 languages, thanks to word-of
mouth and viral marketing.
A web veteran, Bennett-who
also starred in the muchbeloved but sadly defunct web series 3 Way-decided
to
take the marketing of We Have to Stop Now in a different
direction. Rather than take the series to a network or advertisers first, they made it available online for free and built a
loyal audience, a gambit that has paid off. "We did kind of
the exact opposite of 3 Way, which is, we did not look to the
networks .... We said, 'No, we're not going to do that. We're
going to do it ourselves: The viewers, they responded so positively and they actually so generously helped us to pay for
season one. They let us know that, yes, we want this content
and yes, we're willing to pay for it:'
Wolfe Video was impressed too: It bought season one and
the as-yer-unaired season two of Stop Now to release on DVD.
(Season one will come out this summer on DVD, to coincide
with the premiere of season two online.)
For fans of the first season, Bennett offers a few exciting tidbits about the sophomore season, which includes
an impressive lineup of guest stars, including, Erin Foley,
Luck Be a Lady continued on page 63
HEN I MEET the Indigo Girls backstage at New
York's Highline Ballroom, Emily Saliers seems
vaguely professorial, working on a laptop and wearing
glasses and a comfortable-looking sweater. But Amy
Ray, all in black, wrapping up a call on her cell phone, projects
an aura of rock 'n' roll cool.
After more than 20 years of touring, the Indigo Girls are
clearly at home on the road. Their extensive career, which
began with a self-tided album on Epic Records, featured
favorites like "Closer to Fine" and "Kid Fears" that made the
Indigo Girls the darlings of a burgeoning alt-folk scene. They
issued another seven studio albums for Epic, and two live
albums, before leaving the label in 2005. Saliers and Ray then
signed a five-album deal with Hollywood Records and issued
their first CD for that label, Despite Our Differences,in the fall
of 2006. But the following year, during the tour to support
the album, Hollywood suddenly dropped them.
52
Icurve
The Indigo Girls opted to release their latest album,
Poseidonand the Bitter Bug, on their own label, IG Recordings.
It's their first independent release in over two decades. But it's
also significant in that it includes two CDs: One is the fullband version, while the other is an acoustic rendering of the
same material, with the songs in a different order. Poseidon
was produced by Mitchell Froom, who has worked with
everyone from Paul McCartney to Suzanne Vega, and who
has produced songs for Indigo Girls albums in the past.
Despite their success with big labels, Saliers and Ray
are unequivocally positive about singing on an indie label
again. "We both feel very, very happy about it;' says Saliers.
"Liberated:' Ray adds, 'i\.ny drawback you would have on
an indie, it would be a bigger drawback on a major. At this
point, the drawbacks are all within our limitations as a group,
you know:' Were getting older. We're gay. We're women. We
don't really have a feminine image;' she laughs. "J definitely
don't-I'll speak for myself-and it's harder to put that out
into the world in a mainstream way. So, weve always been
underground in some sense-even though we've had a lot of
what I consider to be mainstream success:'
Clearly, there was no love lost between the Indigo Girls
and Hollywood Records. "[We] went to Hollywood thinking
that we might be able to get a good run with them for a few
records;' says Ray. "They were real excited about it, and then
they kind of dropped the ball. And then they dropped us.
We were pretty happy about it because at that point [we felt]
like we were working really hard but not getting much work
from them:'
Although Poseidon and the Bitter Bug is loaded with good
songs, "Ghost of the Gang;' which opens the album's acoustic
disc, shines brighter than the rest. It's simple but evocative.
Listening to "Ghost of the Gang" feels like standing in a
deserted suburban parking lot, at night. Ray says the song
is "pretty literal. I had a short span of time where some old
friends had things happen in their lives. They were part of
a high school group of friends of mine [who] didn't totally
keep in touch after high school. And it was one of those
[situations where] you mean to call somebody and say Tm
sorry; and you keep putting it off, and then it feels like you
can never quite do it. So I wrote the song instead:'
Writing songs is what the Girls do best and they applaud
each other's individual skills. "The great thing about being an
Indigo Girl is that you get two musical lives;' Saliers says.
"There are a lot of things that [Amy brings that are] different
from me, and one is a rock ethic and a really in-your-face
presence. And then, her songwriting-because
Amy writes
about things that I wouldn't write about, necessarily. She
comes from more a rural background and lives in a rural area
and that informs a lot of her sensibility and her storytelling:'
For her part, Ray says, "From the very beginning, when
we started singing together, Emily really knew how to sing
harmony. I had sung in a lot of choirs and stuff, but I didn't
really understand how to sing harmony in popular music. So
Emily definitely brought a musicality and a knowledge that
continually challenged me-and I had to kind of step up to
the place:'
Obviously, Ray has stepped up to the plate and then some.
Hardcore fans know that in addition to being half of the
Indigo Girls, she has released three solo albums. The most
recent, Didn't It Feel Kinder, just came out last year.
Saliers has yet to take the solo plunge, but she isn't closing
the door on an independent project in the future. "They're
distant plans;' she says. "[Amy's] got a whole other set of
songs that very clearly needs to be done, separate from
Indigo Girls. So far, in my life, I haven't found this
group of songs or music within me that needs to
be expressed apart from Amy. A solo record is
sort of in the back of my mind, but it's not a
burning, driving desire:'
Discussing her other pursuits, she adds, "I
co-own a restaurant [and] I'm very passionate
about that. And then, I wrote a book with my dad and we
still do a lot of programs together. I'm very interested in that.
So my other creative forces are taking life in those projects:'
The book was published in 2005. Co-written with her father,
Don Saliers (who is not only a musician himself but also a
retired professor of theology), A Song to Sing, A Life to Live
is an exploration of the healing power of music.
As if all these projects aren't keeping them busy enough,
Saliers and Ray are also both activists for various social causes.
In 1991, they co-founded the nonprofit organization Honor
the Earth, which raises awareness and funds for American
Indian environmental groups. And, of course, they have been
passionate advocates for the rights of same-sex couples and
the LGBT community in general.
Saliers says that despite the strides the
"The
community has made, we still have a
drawbacks are
long way to go. "We're not as far
along as Canada, and we do have
all within our limitations
a long way to go;' she says. "The
as a group. We're getting
gay marriage issue has been a
older. We're gay. We're women.
big issue in the press. And we
all know, as part of the queer
We don't really have a feminine
community, that there are
image. And it's harder to put
many other issues, like [the]
that out into the world in a
high teen suicide rate and
homelessness and violence.
mainstream way. So, we've
But focusing on the gay marriage
always been underground
issue, one thing I find encouraging
in some sense."
now is that it's not just the courts,
but actually the legislatures that are
coming around. Granted, it's New England.
But it's also Iowa. And California was lost, but by a fairly
thin margin, and [it] could be won back again. We're
always going to win important battles through the courts,
thank God. But when the other branches come around, I see
that as real progress:'
It's not just their song lyrics that are heart-felt, even in
conversation Saliers and Ray exude warmth. When asked what
they would say to a 13-year-old girl who lives in the middle of
Nebraska and is questioning her sexuality, Ray says, "I know so
many kids like that, even where I live. I alwaysjust want to grab
them and hug them. I would just say, you have to somehow
remember what a good person you are. And then you have
to find art and music and literature and stories-whatever it
takes-to keep reminding yourself of that. That's what's great
about the Internet, is that you can find allies. And I think if
you're that young, if you're not accepted within your
family, you have to find your own family, unfortunately. That's what you have to do to keep
yourself strong. But don't give up on your
own family, I always say. Because mine
was terrible at first-not terrible-my
parents were super conservative and had
a very hard time. Now they're amazing.
So it's important not to give up on char:' ■
January/February
2010
I 53
REVIEWSMusic Watch
and Comin
Get some fresh tunes for the new year. By Margaret Coble
DriveAwayHome,Good
AsianDrivers{SelfProduced):
In 2008,Melissa
Li andKitYan-the Boston
duoknownasGoodAsian
Drivers-tookto theopen
roadin anattemptto satisfy
theirGeminicravingsfor
adventure.
Butthetrip turned
intosomething
so much
more.With40 showsin 30
statesover12 weeks,the
two crisscrossed
the country
liketransgressive
wanderers
seekingto findthemselves,
butfindingthemselves
welcomedbyandreflected
in the livesof artists,queers,
peopleof color,activists,poets
andmore.Theyevenparked
theirtinycarin mydriveway
for a coupleof nights(sadly,
I wasn'taround).
Theirnew
self-produced
CD,a showcase
of Li'slesbo-relational
folk
rockandVan'sincredible
slam
poetry-whichcouldbecalled
transbecause
heoftendeals
withgenderissues-nicely
documents
theirjourney.
Theduorecentlyaddeda
thirdmember,
AshelyBaier,
on percussion
anddrums,
to roundouttheircomplex
sound.Songsabouttheir
relationship
(aretheylovers?
chosenfamily?whoknows?)
areespeciallyengaging,
asarepieceswithpolitical
nods(tacklingracismamong
queers,labelsamongdykes,
genderamonghets).Among
the showstoppers:
"My Boy"
and"DriveAwayHome."Even
betterthanseeingtheircar
in yourdriveway?
Seeing
themliveonstage.
(goodasiandrivers.com)
[DAM]
54
I curve
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0
Wow, how did it get to be 2010 already? Well, there's
no better way to start off the new year than with some
fresh sounds by fresh faces, and Reina Williams,
Zorras and Susan Elizabeth have got the goods.
Full CircleEP,Reina ·mams{sef eleased• Hailing
from Baltimore, this dynamic out performer is hard
to pin down, running the gamut from hip-hop to
R&B to alt-rock, but she stands out on the mic no
matter the backdrop. After she stole the show on
both the night and day stages at Michigan Womyn's
Music Festival this past summer, I knew I needed
to hear more, and this eight-song EP offers a great
introduction to the breadth and depth of her talent.
From polished hip-hop cuts like "That Ain't Breakin
Me;' which features Williams skillfully rapping while
guest star Chyna Doll adds an infectiously melodic
vocal hook, to radio-friendly pop-hop hybrids like
"The Future;' with stark piano licks intermixed with
peppy acoustic guitar rhythms, this EP shows off not
only her vocal and instrumental skills, but her songwriting and production prowess as well. Williams
gets down and dirty on the spoken-sung "Stronger
Than That;' and then turns around and blows it out
on big clubby numbers with heavy synths and thick
beats like "Just Move:' The EP's strongest cut, "Let
It Flow;' is a mid-tempo radio-friendly pop-hopper
with great guitar riffs and memorable vocal hooks,
and my personal fave, "Vodka Song;' is a strippeddown alt-rock guitar anthem that has a certain Linda
Perry vibe to it. (myspace.com/reinawilliams)
We ApologiseFor Any Inconvenience,
Zorras{Minor
Assault) Scottish-Canadian
poet Sandra Alland
and musician Y.Josephine have a more experimental
take on spoken word performance than your average
word-spitter. Having emerged from the Edinburgh
queer cabaret scene a few years ago, Zorras deliver
their musical stories bilingually, mixing text, sound
poetry, percussion, guitar, megaphones, singing and
projected visual images. Though I'd wager their live
performance is more true to their artistic vision than
an audio recording, they are still interesting on CD,
mixing it up between more musical numbers like the
guitar-folk "Nest" and more radio-dramatized pieces
like "Here's To Wang:' I personally love the "In The
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Details" spoken interludes, humorous musings
on the idiosyncrasies of the Bulgarian language. (myspace.com/zorrasmyspace)
"Closer" and "The Excitement Before;' but
the bulk of the album pushes the boundaries of acoustic pop-folk, and I for one am
thankful. (susanelizabethsongs.com)
WineAnd Cigarettes,
SusanElizabeth(selfreleased):
I write about a lot of singer-songwriters in these pages. It takes a lot for me
to even notice a new, previously unheard of
girl with a guitar. But the thing that caught
my ear with Susan Elizabeth's CD was that
it wasn't just a collection of guitar-andvocal songs. The instrumentation is varied,
incorporating a lot of electronics and drum
machines as well as piano, and the overall
sound is more pop-leaning than folk. Take, for
example, the almost jazzy-bluesy foundation
of"Jones For This;' with its piano underbed
and pop-friendly beats. Or the vocoder and
skittering beats on the dance-friendly"Figure
It Out Yourself:' Or the handclapping beats
on "That Girl On MTV;' a Top 40 pop tune
if ever I've heard one. Of course, there's still
some straight-ahead acoustic folk rock, like
Hundreds
Oflions
ErmMcKeown
(Righteous
Babe)
Thisversatileand
charmingartistreturns
withnewmaterial,
muchof whichhaslush
orchestral
instrumentation.Fromplucky,
whimsicalnumberslike
"ToA Hammer"and
soaringsing-a-longs
like "SantaCruz,"to
darker,moodierfare
like "(PutTheFun
BackIn)TheFuneral,"
McKeown'sgot a
vibrantsoundall her
own."TheFoxes"is
a bouncyfeel-good
gem,but really,the
wholealbumis a fun
auraladventurenot to
be missed.(erinmckeown.com)
TheHereAndTheNow
ladyhawke:
Orestes
• SamAndRuby
SpecialEdition
SarahDougher
(Rykodisc)
(Cherchez
LaFemme) Ladyhawke
(Decca)
Youwouldn'tthinka
WhobutSarah
NewZealand-born
boyfromWisconsin
Dougher-indierock
singer-songwriter(SamBrooker)and
goddess,
Rockand
musicianPipBrown
a girl bornin Ghana
RollCampfor Girls
founder,
andPortland getsthespecialdeluxe (RubyAmanfu)would
Statewomen'sstudies editiontreatmentonthis bea naturalmusical
reissueof hersmash-hit• pair,butthissumptuous
professor-would
debut.All 12original
12-cutalbumwith
youaskto writea
tracksplusfivebonus its romanticroots
punkrockscorefor
cutsmakethisdisca
sound,blendingR&B,
the Greekclassicby
goodbang-for-your- gospel,folk andpop
Euripides?
Theresult
buck,especially
if her
will convinceyou.
is a verymodern
brand
of
synthtastic
Favesincludethe
treatment,
relevant
retro-flavored
power
ethereal"Heaven's
to today'spunk-nerd
popfloatsyourboat.My My Home,""What
teenager.
Fivevocal
faveremains"ParisIs DoI DoNow,"which
Odesarefollowedby
showcasestheir rich,
instrumental
versions. Burning,"whichhas
velvetyvocalsand
Yes,it's a bit esoteric, an interestingThe
and "This I Know,"with its
butif youlikethatkind Cars-meets-Tegan
old-schoolsoulvibe.
of thing,it's prettycool. Sara-feel.So much
(cherchezlafemme- goodnesshere.(lady- Solid.(myspace.coml
hawkemusic.com)
samandruby)
projects.
com)
Q+A
Ferron
Since she hit the music scene
in 1980, Ferron's soulful, poetic
songs have moved our community. Recently, she and Bitch
collaborated on Boulder,a richly textured
album that helped introduce Ferron to a
younger audience and reminded the rest of
us why we've loved her for so long. Ferron
speaks to us from the Fen, her sanctuary
and retreat in Three Rivers, Mich.
In termsof yourartisticlabels,doyoudefine
yousel asa lesbianmusic·n?
I remember the day that we decided [how
to define ourselves]. My manager and I,
we knew that if I did the lesbian thing it
would be a big stigma thing, and it's kind
of like we looked at each other and what
she said is, "Well, if you can't tell the truth
when you have nothing to lose, what's
going to happen when you have everything
to lose?" So we started there. I think even
when I did come on the scene, it was kind
of the first time that an artist's inner world,
although it was lesbian-informed, was
not lesbian-identified. My dream was a
place where men and women, straight and
gay, [could] be together. And I actually
accomplished that with my band, who were
three lesbian women and three straight
men. And we just love each other.
Yo la n h d yo m i I
ringthe
women's
movement
ofthe'60s.Howdidthat
• lu e your • • devel ment?
I don't think I would have happened
without the timeliness of the women's
movement. It's where I come from. I joined
it. I met it. I flourished in it. I don't know
that I would have flourished without it. I
still would have been a lesbian-which
is
not so much a sexual identification, it's a
personal identification-but
what it is, it's
a sensibility about politics, or life. It has to
do with love, actually, instead of power. I'm
talking about the thinking part of it that
wants to make the world a better place.
I mean, ultimately a better place for ourselves, but it ends up making it better for
everybody. This is how the world changes,
by where our thoughts go.
No
...........
,,.... rtisticsuccess,
Ft..'1Ton
continued on page 63
January/February
2010
I55
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
A Journe to Self-Discover
Crisscross North America with these new tales. By Rachel Pepper
This month, two young women
take the ultimate feminist road
trip, and one writer spins a tale of
young love and desire.
Girldrive: Criss-CrossingAmerica,
RedefiningFeminism,Nona Willis
Aronowitzand EmmaBee Bernstein
T e Other Sebaal-Herz
(Seal Press}:What would a femi(SevenStoriesPress):
Brainiacgirl alert!TheOthers nist road trip look liker That's the
question behind the new art book
is a milestonebookin the
representation
of Saudi Girldrive: Criss-Crossing America,
Arabianlesbiansexuality. Redefining Feminism. Aronowitz
Writtenunderthe pseudonym and Bernstein are two friends in
Sebaal-Herz,the English their 20s who hit the road to distranslationof thisArabbestcover how feminism manifests
sellergivesWesternreaders
across the nation. Of feminism,
a lookintothe lifeof a Saudi
Aronowitz writes: "It was a tool,
schoolgirlwith a bigbrain
anda penchant
for the ladies. a code word, and a state of mind':
Setin SaudiArabia'sEastern and of the project: "It was a jourProvince,
schoolchumsturn
ney, a blog, and a mini-movement:'
intoloverswhotease,text
Born to Jewish intellectual families with mothers
message
andfostera youthful who were strong feminist role models, Aronowitz
obsession
with self-reflection.
and Bernstein looked to the road trip as a chance to
Writtenentirelyin thefirst
personbya nameless
narrator, explore the various meanings of the word "feminism:'
As they traveled across the country, they realized
the book'sstrengthis its
that while the word "feminist" didn't define everyone,
discussion
of the historyof
the Shi'iabranchof Islamand
it was the framework the two of them used to units exploration
of the double derstand the lives of others, including the 127 women
"othering"of beingnotonly
they interviewed and photographed for this project.
a womanwhowantsto be
These women are a mixture of young activists still
withwomen,butalsopartof
finding their voices and better-known women such
a minorityreligionwithinthe
as
singer Kathleen Hanna, author Michele Wallace
Saudination.Toquenchher
thirstfor queerinteraction, and Wiccan goddess Starhawk. The real stars of the
book, though, are the authors, whose enthusiasm bubthe narratorlogsonto a gay
andlesbianchatroom,where bles up from each glossy page, designed with care by
the protection
of anavatar Kate Basart. Bernstein, who was the photographer
opensa worldof chitchatand
for the project, wrote, "Feminism has always been
sex.Divingintothewaters
inherently tied to travel and self-discovery:' This
of adolescent
homosociality
is an apt sentiment and explains the passion she and
andthe narrator'sfeelingsfor
hotbabes,TheOthersoffers Aronowitz brought to the project. Tragically, shortly
after the road trip ended, Bernstein took her own life
a rareglimpseintooneof the
mostrepressive
societiesin
while traveling in Venice, Italy. This lovely photo book
theworld.(sevenstories.com)
[TaniaHammidi]
pays homage to her creative spirit and a life lived
passionately, if all too briefly. (sealpress.com)
ThisOne'sGoingtoLastForever,
NairneHoltz(Insomniac
Press}:Canadian author Nairne Holtz's lovely
first novel, The Skin Beneath, made a stir when
it was published in 2007, won the Alice B. Award
for debut lesbian fiction and became a finalist for
Quebec's McAuslan First Book Prize. This One's
Going to Last Forever is a collection of stories
that focus Holtz's sharp lens on young women
balanced on the precipice of change. Mostly set in
the late '80s and early '90s amongst a subculture of
women coming up and out into queer activism, these
stories capture the conflicts and cravings of that
heady era. More than the settings, however,
which are mostly Canadian cities like Vancouver
and Montreal, Holtz is an expert at creating threedimensional characters who stand apart from the
usual lesbian lit fare. In the book's longest selection, the
novella ''.A.reyou Committed: Montreal 1989-1990;'
readers meet Clara, a university student who slowly
GREATLINE FROMA BOOKWE AREN'TREVIEWING:"it should've been the lesbian
i called/and not the tribe of men/with average instruments of torture"
-from
56
J
curve
Elizabeth Manani's ,magmary poems for my ,magmary g1rlfnend named anabel (hzmanam.com)
Q+A
Gina Spriggs
In her debut novel, Dirty Laundry, Gina
Spriggs serves up real life issues like racism,
sexual confusion and the difficulties of
friendships between women in a deliciously
fun read. Dirty Laundry is the story of two
women, Maria and Butterfly, whose high
school friendship ended in betrayal. Now
they're all grown up and dealing with motherhood, their careers and trying to find love
while picking up the pieces of their broken
friendship. This fast-paced, witty book reads
like a chick lit beach novel, but has plenty
of queer content to keep you interested long
after your summer tan has faded.
Areyourcharactersbasedonyourown
e onale per"ences?
Actually, I would have to say that anytime
you felt like you could really wrap your hands
around a particular person, whether you
liked them or whether you didn't like them,
I think there was a personal reference I was
discovers her awakening lesbian sexuality through socialism, women's studies
and ACT UP. Holtz portrays Clara's journey in an empathetic tone, including Clara's
confusion about queer language and culture.
While participating at an ACT UP demonstration, Clara sees a "Silence=Death"
sticker and wonders about its meaning:
"Becoming a lesbian sometimes felt like
becoming a Mason: there were so many
secret codes:' Other characters in the book's
stories include Anna, a recent amputee, who
learns that in breaking free of a longterm lesbian relationship, she is free
to explore her sexuality anew; Gabby,
a boyish bottom who can't commit; Kelly,
a long-time heroin addict; and Nathalie,
who's into girls but can't leave her wealthy
boyfriend-yet. Most of the stories are infused with a tinge of melancholic sadness.
Happy endings are not guaranteed. Yet,
Holtz, a former librarian and archivist, is
a refreshing breeze in a forest of often
too sappy, feel-good fiction. For some
queer lit with real-life grit, readers
would do well to discover this talented
writer. (insomniacpress.com) ■
able to draw from experience.
Thethemeof racismwithinthe
AfricanAmericancommunity
runsthroughout
the book.
There is a lot of discrimination among
African Americans and it's a weird
thing. In my family, there is every shade
of brown, so it never really occurred to
me that there would be other African
Americans that had a problem with skin
color. I think it's something that African
Americans really don't want to talk about
because they feel like they are airing
dirty laundry ... and at the end of the day,
it is so rampant.
BothMariaandButterflyhaverelationships
with womenandmen.Doyouseethemas
beingqueer?
I think that Butterfly was one of those
people that liked attention ... wherever she
could get it. She's one of those people that
can't say no and really kind of blossoms
OramaQueers!
ThePurityMyth
FrankAnthonyPolito JessicaValenti
(Kensington
Books) (SealPress)
under the limelight. Whereas
Maria, she really feels like ...
the world is (her] oyster. She
doesn't consider herself gay,
she doesn't consider herself bisexual, she
considers herself Maria.
Marialefta lesbianrelationship
to getmarried
andhavea child,but shecontinuesto be
attractedto women.Doesthat mirroryour
ownexperience?
I call myself-you know how they have
recovering alcoholics-a
recovering
hetero-holic. [Laughs] I truly was. I do
love dick, I just don't like that thing that's
attached to it. (Laughs] My identity really
evolved from wanting to have things
in my life that included a family and
financial stability and going the straight
route in order to get it, and then realizing,
you know what, this just sucks and I'd
rather be broke if that's what it calls for.
(ginaspriggs.com) [ArielMessman-Rucker]
1
Drift:Stories
VictoriaPatterson
(MarinerBook)
Young
Woman
& theSea
GlennSou
, (Houghton
Mifflin
A seriesof interwoven ' Harcourt)
This'80s highschool Co-authorof Yes
shortstoriesabout
novelchroniclesthe
MeansYesand
worldof Bradley
founderof feministing. : the uppercrustof
SportswriterGlenn
JamesDayton,a gay
com,Valentioffersher NewportBeach,Drift
Stoutchronicles
the
the livesof
highschoolsenior
insightintoAmerica's explores
lifeofTrudyEderle,the
andaspiringthespian obsessionwith female the wealthy-revealing first womanto swim
problems
thatare
whosemainconcerns sexualityandthe
the EnglishChannel.
An
usuallyhiddenfrom
are landingthe lead
horrorsof what she
inspirational
account
publicview.Thewell
in Okla-homo
and
callsthe "virginity
of a youngwoman
characters
nailingthe Jane
movement."Valenti's rounded
whopavedthe way
· that populatethese
Seymourmonologue sharpwit makes
for femaleathletes
Stout's
from Somewhere
in
readingabouthowthe vignettes-especially everywhere,
Christianright is trying the Sapphically
novelwill openyour
Time.. .that is until
inclinedones-will not eyesto the storybehind
he meetsRichie,the
to set womenback
disappoint.
(houghton- herlandmarkfeat.
hot newboyin town.
60 yearsbearable.
[AMR] (houghtonmifflin(kensingtonbooks.
com) (sea/press.com)
[Ariel mifflinbooks.com)
[Frances
Yee]
Messman-Rucker]
books.com)
[AMR]
January/February
2010
I57
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Findin CommonGround
Isolated characters find kindred spirits this month. By Candace Moore
BESTDOCUMENTARY
OF2009
ProdigalSons(BigSkyFilms):
Filmmaker
KimberlyReed's
unflinching
documentary,
ProdigalSons,haswonraves
everywhere
becauseit's an
astonishing
lookat family
dysfunction.
Watching
Reed
(a Montana-bred,
NewYork
magazine
editor)headhome
for herhighschoolreunion,
tookmebackto myown
reunionin Idaho.Inthose
20years,I hadcomeoutas
a lesbian;Reedcameout
asa lesbian,
too-and asa
woman.ReedwasoncePaul,
highschoolquarterback,
the
popularAdonisof hisclass.
Reed'sadoptedolderbrother
Marc,wasovershadowed
by
Paul'saccomplishments
and
theirreunionunderscores
howmuchReedandher
brotherarestill livingin the
shadowof the manshenever
wantedto be.Thestoryis
expertlyinterwoven,
creating
a sad,exhilarating,
funny
experience
filledwitheasy
gestures(homemoviesof
youngerbrotherdressedas
a girladda wonderfultouch)
andunexpected
drama(Marc
hasfits of ragethatlandhim
in jail at onepoint).Whilethe
verysexyReeddazzlesher
classmates,
Marcfadesinto
the background,
buta search
for hisbioparentsleadshim
to discovera shockinglinkto
Hollywood
royalty.Thedrama
continues
andneverquite
wrapsup neatly.It's easilythe
bestdocumentary
of lastyear.
(prodiga/sonsfilm.com)
[DAM]
58
I curve
These two recent films showcase bridges forged
between communities and connections explored
between strangers.
fantastic cast of fresh faces, Tru Loved is one of the most
uplifting, well-acted queer teen flicks I've seen in a
while. (heretv.com)
TruLoved(here!) Director Stuart Wade's feel-good
TheInsomniacs
(Altcinema):
Kami Chrisholm's latest
teen pie celebrates alliances.True to its John Hughesian
lesbian-themed short offers a quirky, after-hours
genre, Tru Loved boasts an upbeat soundtrack and vision of a butch, who is up late, catching classic
cute outsider characters who learn how to demand the films, studying herself in the mirror and, naturally,
love and respect they're due. Tru, short for Gertrude
craving waffies. Bell's (Skyler Cooper) last-ditch
(a la Stein) moves with her two moms from rainbow- effort to find reprieve from her clockwatching-a 3
decked San Francisco to conservative Orange County,
a.m. Insomniacs Anonymous meeting-introduces
Cali£, where dosed-minded jocks and cheerleaders at the IA newcomer to a motley crew of non-sleepers.
her new high school quickly dub her a dyke and begin
Bell's affiiction for not finding Zs has always been a
flinging insults. Although she identifies as straight,
problem, especially since covering the night shift, but
Tru doesn't correct anyone on her sexuality-who
the unrest has been bothering her more lately. When
cares, right? Refusing to let bigots make the rules, T ru a flirty fellow insomniac in fishnets (Jenoa Harlow)
steps in and stops similar harassment from happening
makes eye contact and admits a craving for waffies,
to an out teen, Walter. Then, when a dashing football
too, Bell invites her home for breakfast. Perhaps
player (Matthew Thompson) from the cool kids' together the two strangers will find some rest?
table bravely asks Tru out, she's smitten, only to learn
Chrisholm's camera delights in the potential intimacy
that his love for musical theater turns out to be more
of casual connections with shots of their quickly
stereotypical than surprising. Gradually helping her entangled fingertips and bodies spooning. This
closeted quarterback beau accept his gay identity,
character-driven short combines old-time romance
Tru briefly plays the role of his beard before
with French New Wave-style minimalismReadourQ&A while using hot dyke principles to ponder the
challenging him to stop drowning in
with TruLoved
internalized homophobia. With cameos
absurdity of the everyday, or everynight, as the
starNajarra
Towsend
at
by Jane Lynch and Bruce Vilanch and a
case may be. (altcinema.com)■
curvemag.com
Q+A
Tina Mabry
Aliensin theAttic
: American
Outrage
(Twentieth
Century
Fox)• (FirstRunFeatures)
OK,this is HomeAlone
meetsMenin Black
fluff,buta few wise
jokes(likekidstrying
to operatea rotary
phone)will getyou
throughit, especially
if you'relookingfor
something
to watch
withthe littleones.
Afterfeistylittlegreen
mencrashlandonthe
Pearson's
house,the
kidsmustsaveEarth,
whichoffersupa
reasonfor Doris
Roberts
to bein a
karatesmackdown
and
AshleyTisdaleto show ;
upin a bikini.(fox.com)
NurseryUniversity
(Docurama
Films)
TwofeistyShoshone
sistersarenabbed
byfederalmarshals
for lettingtheir
livestockgrazeoutside
theirranch-land
recognized
bythe
UnitedStatesas
Shoshone
land.You'll
wonderwhythe
government
spent
millionspersecuting
two elderlyAmerican
Indianwomen.
The
shocking
answer
comesoutasthedispute
goesallthewayto
theUnitedNationsin
thisexceptional
film.
(firstrunfeatures.com)
l KathyGriffin:
She'llCuta Bitch
• (Shout!Factory)
Followfive NewYork
familiesthroughan
Ourfavoritelesboabsurdyear-long
adjacentD-listeris
processto gettheir
backwithan uncenchildrenintothe best
soredspecialasfunny
preschool,
repletewith andoutrageous
as
tears,hystericsand
ever.Assomeone
who
investment
bankerson wasin theaudienceat
theirknees.Thefilm , Portland,
Ore.,'sArlene
expertlycombinesreal Schnitzer
ConcertHall
parentalangstandthe ' whereit wasfilmed,I
outrageousness
of an
promise,it losesvery
elite
private
system
littlein thetransfer
s:a:
CD thatsays
whatkidsdoat to thescreen.Bonus:
<(
$ 3 years
oldguarantees never-seen
bitsonthe
Q
.J
UJ
their
futures.
A
real
,
Octomom
and
Sarah
u::
hoot
for
public
school
Palin,
texting
Sarah
~
progenylike me.
I:
' Silverman
andmore.
0
()
(docurama.
com)
(shoutfactory.
com)
=
(/)
Winner of the 2009 Outfest Grand Jury
Prize for Outstanding U.S. Dramatic
Feature, director Tina Mabry's film
Mississippi Damned has festival audiences
across the country falling in love with
the poignant story of struggle and adversity
in the Deep South. Mabry imbues the
film with her own personal stories and
the characters-many
of whom are
based on her own family membersgive the film an unmistakably authentic
tone. The characters face poverty, abuse
and addiction and the camera never
shies away from these painful scenes,
making the film alternately difficult to
watch and heartwaming.
Thereis somuchviolence,
abuse,illness
andevenmurderwithinthefamilyunitin
thefilmandyet,it felt likean honestportrayal.Howdidyouachievethat?
It was my experience, my life, and that's
what I knew growing up. I really wanted
to explore that, and I knew that people
that I was growing up with were going
through the same thing. While I knew
I wasn't alone in the situation, I never
really talked about it and I really wanted
to expose some of the things like the
molestation that goes on, the homophobia.
Because if we don't start addressing it,
how can we really solve it, or somehow
heal from what you've gone through?
ha as be n e
di nc e po e?
The response has been great ... we knew
it would be universal. I don't care who
you are, everyone knows about struggle.
Everyone has had to try to figure out how
to do something when you haven't done it
before. You don't have an example, trying
to build your own road, make your own
way. And that's something that's been
reaffirmed in the screenings because we
have people from various counties like
Germany or Canada saying, you know
what, this is my story and you would
think it's kind of an American story, but
it's not. It really transcends geography,
race, sexuality, and that's a great thing.
o,e of
characer ,s sedon
yoursister,whois a gaywomanandstill
"I reallywantedto expose
some of the thingslikethe
molestationthat goes on,
the homophobia.Becauseif
we don't start addressingit,
how can we reallysolveit?"
livesin Mississippi.
Hasshefaceda lot
homophobia
in theSouth?
I know for a fact if my sister had come
out when she was [in California] and
was living here, her life would be totally
different. We have a long way to go
[in Calif.,] but it's still easier. I can go
anywhere I want to and hold my partner's
hand and I don't feel like I'm going to get
bashed or anything. I can't say the same
thing [about the South] because we don't
hold hands when we're in Mississippi; we
don't show any public affection because
were not really sure how we'll be received
and no one wants to be physically accosted.
w·
of e Im sedonactu
events,wasit difficultto revealyourfamily's
It's tamed down a lot, and I just don't
think I was ready to show all of it. At the
end of it, I'm really happy I did this film
because it was really cathartic. I really
got a chance to leave some of the issues
that had haunted me ... behind in that
film. And I don't feel bad about that. I
no longer feel ashamed about anything.
It is what it is, and it made me who I am
and I'm never going to feel ashamed of
something that I feel makes me a stronger
person. (mississippidamned.com)[Ariel
Messman-Rucker]
(/)
January/February
2010
I59
REVIEWSTech Girl
Get Read for Action
WET and Bayonetta introduce two new digital divas. By Rachel Shatto
Powermat:
Is it magic?Nope,
just magnets.
ThePowermat
wirelesschargerletsyou
kisscordsgoodbyeby using
electromagnetic
inductionto
harnessanddeliverpowerto
yourhandheld
devices(like
mobilephones,
digitalcameras
andgaminggadgets).
If you
wereto takea strollthrough
the Jetsons'spacecondo,
you'dseea Powermat
chargingall theirsmallelectronics.Tousethe Powermat,
you put the deviceyouwant
to chargein a specially
enabledcaseandset it on
the surfaceof the mat.The
magnetswill alignandit will
automatically
begincharging.
Thematcansensewhenyour
deviceis fullycharged,so it
automatically
shutsoff and
there'snopowerwasted.The
designis sleekandsexy,and
the mobileversionis perfect
for frequenttravelerswho
aretiredof stuffingtheirbags
full of tangledcords.Best
of all,it'll makeyoufeellike
a future-dyke-2000
when
youpopa gadgeton it andit
makesthe littleroboticchirp
thatletsyouknowit's working
its magic-er, science.
($99,powermat.com)
[RachelShatto]
It's time to dust off your game controllers, because
there are new must,play action adventure games with
fierce females at the helm. Joining the ranks of the
heroine,led gaming pantheon, which includes the
likes of Metroid, Mirror'sEdge and Tomb Raider, are
Bethesda's WET and Platinum Games' Bayonetta.
Both titles are cinematic and highly stylized, and
they focus on the kind of acrobatic moves we love
to see on,screen. Best of all: There is just something
about both of them that reads, well, kinda gay.
WET(BethesdaSoftworks):Think Pam Grier's Foxy
Brownmeets Uma Thurman in Kill Bill and you have
a good idea of what to expect from WET and its sexy
new protagonist, Rubi Malone. The game derives its
Lesbo-a-Go
With all the new applications
available for the iPhone, it was
just a matter of time before
somebody came up with
MyGayGo, an app that helps
you find businesses that are
LGBT-friendly. MyGayGo lists
results based on proximity
to your current location and
60
I curve
title from the term "wet,work;' a euphemism for
assassination, and Rubi, a tattooed, pouty,lipped
"fixer" voiced by curve'sNovember cover girl Eliza
Dushku, lives up to the label.
When this iiber,tough femme finds herself double,
crossed, she vows revenge. And with the help of her
two trusty pistols, a samurai sword, the vocabulary of
a sailor and a set of dazzling acrobatic moves, she gets
it-and then some.
Primarily a shoot!em,up,fest that calls on Rubi's
ability to run up walls, swing from poles and generally
lay waste to baddies in slow,mo, the game is punc,
tuated by surprising plot twists and the occasional
thrilling car chase in which Rubi leaps from a vehicle
in a perfectly timed sequence.
helps you find a dentist, doggie
groomer or day spa in your
"nationwide Gayberhood."
As a resource to make more
conscious choices, MyGayGo
provides a way for you to
spend your consumer dollars
on businesses that will in
turn support issues that are
important to you and the gay
community. Bonus: $1 from
every consumer app download
and $25 from every
/.
business-listing fee
will be donated to gay
charities including
The Trevor Project
and The Point
~ll!li'::il-lrJI
Foundation. The
app has over 20,000
listings and is growing steadily.
Plus, they offer a free 90-day
business listing. ($3, mygaygo.com) [Frances
Yee]
Sign for Your Cause
If you've been itching for a way to get involved
but aren't sure how to start fighting the good
fight, take a look at Care2's online political
activist tool The Petition Site for help. It's
accessible and easy to use and, with the
click of a mouse, you can sign your name
to any number of petitions already making the rounds or, in true grassroots
fashion, start one of your own. You can also organize, track and share your
petitions with your own "petitionsite"-a personalized account that enables
you to connect with friends, other Care2 members and your local community.
To take the next step, join a discussion, try some of the site's green living
tips and while you're at it, apply for a job from listings of socially responsible
companies. (thepetitionsite.com) [FrancesYee]
C
FunShopping
withFriends
Casual gamers may be frustrated by the
complicated controls, but given time and a
little training at Rubi's headquarters, they
are manageable and, once mastered, make
for an exciting, visually stunning, acrobatic
action game.
For fans of the Tarantino-esque films,
WET is a dream, with its furious action and
grindhouse-inspired story and appearance.
Gritty on-screen film grain and drive-in
inspired intermission loading screens ( that
remind you what tasty treats await you at the
concession stand) and the '70s, psychobilly
and punk soundtrack complete the exploitation experience. In the end, WET may
be a bit rough around the edges, but Rubi
Malone is just one of those antiheroines you
can't decide if you want to be-or be with.
($60, gamestop.com)
Bayonetta
(PlatinumGames):With a lead character that is all sass and swagger, Platinum's
new game is a lezzie fave in the making. Add
to the that the fact that Bayonetta is a hot
shape-shifting witch with a British accent,
sexy spectacles, a cat suit ( made of her own
magical hair, no less) who pulls off Crouching
Tiger,Hidden Dragon-like martial arts moves,
and you've got the beginnings of a seriously
thrilling game, too.
Having woken from a 500-year sleep,
Bayonetta, a member of an ancient witch
clan, is forced to defend herself against
murderous cherubic foes and a wickedly sexy
blonde nemesis named Jeanne (which, if you
ask us, has a little too much of the "woman
scorned" about her, if you know what we
mean). Suffering from amnesia, Bayonetta is
confused and unable to remember who she is;
however, over time, her memory returns and
the truth of her predicament becomes clear.
The game's setting, Vigrid, is a fictional
European city that is both lush and surreal, and effortlessly mixes sprawling paved
gardens and medieval architecture. It is a
Gothic, stylized masterpiece. However, the
true star of the game is the combat.
Packing four shiny pink pistols-named
Parsley, Rosemary, Sage and ThymeBayonetta is armed from head to toe, literally. When her hair isn't busy doubling as
wardrobe, she transforms it into a variety
of death devices including a guillotine and
an iron maiden. These attacks, both graceful
and monstrous, are mind-blowing. And
together, the gunplay, magic and martial
arts combine to create a whirling dervish of
total enemy devastation.
While her moves may sound complex,
casual gamers need not be intimidated, there
are a variety of difficulty settings, ranging
from very difficult to very easy-the latter
allowing you to control Bayonetta with the
press of a single button. Fans of the Devil
May Cry series and hot chicks in specs are
sure to love her-almost
as much as we do.
($60, gamestop.com)■
•L
Reviews: real opinions
X
Sexis magazine:
discover your own is
__J'from real people
,,,
@)
Speak up:
J forums
and polls
Connect to toy
makers: Edenlink
Fun to follow:
EdenCafe blog
Get personal:
interviews
www.edenfantasys.com
(800) 350-9050 Mon-Fr 8 am-4 pm ET
@
edenfantasys
facebook@ edenfantasys
Survivor or Victim:' continued from page 19
Candy Dish of the Damned continued from page 40
says drugs also played a role in her rape. She
testified to a grand jury that the director gave
her champagne and Quaaludes before he
raped her.
This year, the brutal rape of a 16-year-old
girl in Richmond, Cali£, - and the heinous
discovery of at least 11 bodies in the home
of Ohio sex offender Anthony Sowell are a
reminder that even in their own neighborhoods and on public school property, women
are not safe.
In the 1970s, when feminists made rape a
central issue, women were taught to refer to
themselves as "survivors;' not victims. I spent
years referencing "survivors:' Many famous
survivors-Oprah
is one of them-champion
the term.
Yet, lately, as I have encountered the stories
of other women who have been raped, I
can't help but remember sitting in a police
station a few years ago, repeating the story
of my recent rape to a highly unsympathetic police detective. So, I think women
need to reclaim the word "victim:' I may
stand alone in saying this, but we should
not be thought of as some amorphous,
I-got-over-it group.
Those of us who have been raped have
been taken against our will-sometimes once,
like Geimer; sometimes over a protracted
period of time, like Phillips; sometimes by
strangers and sometimes by men who say they
love us-our fathers, brothers, uncles, neighbors, teachers, classmates, friends.
One in three women is raped. Are these
women all survivors? Certainly not. There are
those who are put to death by Sharia law in
Muslim countries, or murdered by their own
families in so-called honor killings. I don't feel
like a survivor. The men who raped me have
never been prosecuted. Phillips and Geimer
have both declared they have forgiven their
rapists. I haven't forgiven mine.
Rape is a crime that has become, incredibly,
so passe that we have returned to a prefeminist
era where the rapist is lauded and the victim
is decried. We need to reclaim our status as
victims. Rape creates victims-terrorized,
bloody, bruised, HIV-infected, impregnated
victims. Rape creates physical, psychological and emotional wounds that cannot
heal, no matter how much time has passed.
As lesbians and as feminists, we need to
remember that rape destroys lives. Rape is
meant to turn us into nothing, to repudiate
our sexuality. Making us think we are not
victims is just one more violation. ■
soon-to-be-booming sex life. News to mebut OK, I was interested. What was next?
I was told to conduct a ritual, for which
I would require a fair amount of fresh seawater. I was to collect water from the ocean,
leave it out on the next starry night and then
sprinkle it on my crown chakra nightly for a
month, repeating a mantra I dare not include
in this article. So ... road trip! Giggling at
the ridiculousness of it all, my friend and I
careened toward Wiccan waters. We found a
quiet spot, splashed through the rain toward
the beach and collected our bounty. On the
way home, we stopped for a celebratory ice
cream cone at the Tillamook Cheese Factory.
As we sat in the cafe, I started feeling a
strange familiarity with the place-and then
Snap. There I was, 14 years old, on tour with
my church youth group, sitting in the very
same seat, licking what was probably the very
same flavor of ice cream, with a tongue that
hadn't even begun to fathom its more devious
purposes. My adult eyes widened, my young
eyes widened and I looked up from my past
to see the vastly different woman I'd become.
New Me arched her eyebrow, grinned and
gave Old Me a delicious wink. Just you wait,
Pollyanna-it
gets better from here.
Back on Candy Island, I was three months
past the Wiccan ritual and gearing up for yet
another Snap moment. My sex life had certainly picked up, and, bolstered by my success, I was fully embracing the unexpected.
But this was intense, even for me. I sat in my
chair, the candy dish now three seats closer,
and eyeballed the upside-down submissive.
She had a look on her face I was vaguely
familiar with; they call it Sub Space-the
telltale glaze, the eyes simultaneously absent
and intently focused. Did she enjoy this?
A tattooed butch strolled up casually, cuffs
clanking from the pocket of her leather pants,
and tossed candies at the woman's crotch like
she was a goldfish game at the county fair.
Her first try missed, also her second-but
the third made a resounding clink as it hit its
mark. The crowd went wild.
Old Me was sitting on my lap now, staring up at New Me with a baffied expression
on her face. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"Er ... " came my hesitant response. The container of candies was two sets of hands
away from me now. This time, a young man
in a leather harness was dragged across the
floor and directed to hold the candy on his
outstretched tongue like a depraved maitre
d' while his master took a turn at the free-
62
I curve
throw line. One set of hands left. ''Are you
really gonna do that?" Old Me asked, nose
wrinkled in disgust.
Was I? The dish was being passed to me
now, its current holder taking a pass. I held it
in my hands, tiny shiny candy baubles sparkling up at me, daring me to seal my fate as a
heathen. I dipped my fingers in and took out
four pieces, passing the dish absently to my
right as I pondered whether they would melt
in my hand, in my mouth or in the fires of
hell that were suddenly licking my feet.
I went with my mouth. I grabbed the hand
of Old Me and walked us out of the room as
I munched the candies. Some things were too
much, even for New Me. But what a ride it
was to the line I finally wouldn't cross. ■
Trouble With a Capital T continued from page 43
two days to shoot and a handful of weeks
in post-production. Speakeasy, a queer porn
noir, was her third release, launched shortly
thereafter. In November, Roulette became a
series with the release of Roulette Dirty South.
Like the original, it's a collection of vignettes,
but this time, the setting is North Carolina.
Trouble intends to travel the country with
her series, taking it to different locations to
discover what queer desire looks like away
from the West Coast. She also has a new
gonzo-style feature called Seven Minutes in
Heaven. She keeps her longer-term plans for
the Real Queer Productions line a little closer
to her chest, but it's clear that she's excited by
the possibilities and not at a loss for ideas.
Trouble identifies as a queer director
rather than as a lesbian director "because
my personal turn-ans vary so wildly from
women to men to transpeople that I couldn't
just make one kind of movie, you know?" Bur
she knows she's learned a lot from an earlier
generation of lesbian-identified filmmakers.
"From watching How to Fuck in High Heels
and the rest of SIR Productions' movies, I
learned that there can be a lot of fun and a
lot of DIY attitude put into porn, and a lot
of art put into porn. And I think that really
stuck with me;' she says, speaking of Jackie
Strano and Shar Rednour's influential mid'90s lesbian porn production company.
"We probably need a new lesbian director;' says Trouble. "I still think that
authentic lesbian porn does need to be made.
Let's challenge one of the readers of curve
to become one of the next lesbian porn
directors who makes real authentic girl-ongirl stuff. Because it's hot!" ■
Luck Be a Lady continued from rage 51
Ferron continued from page~~
Gloria Bigelow, Kate McKinnon, Doria
Biddle and Dani Campbell.
Also making a guest appearance 1s a
beloved TV veteran, Meredith Baxter, who
played the crush-worthy mother on Family
Ties. "(She) is coming in to do an awesome,
fantastic guest spot ... so we're really excited.
We were shocked that she agreed to do it, and
we're totally thrilled that she's going to come
play with us;' says Bennett.
As if all this were not enough to keep the
duo busy, they're developing an innovativeas yet untitled-reality
TV series that will
draw upon DeBuono's background as a clinical psychologist. They're also working on a
psychological thriller with Out at the Wedding
screenwriter Paula Goldberg (who also polished the script for In Her Line of Fire).
"It'll be starring me and Cathy, but in a
genre I don't think our community has seen
yet;' says Bennett. "The idea is really original-it's fantastic-there's a lot of intrigue:'
Through their acting and activism, and their
sheer, um, hotness, Bennett and DeBuono are
setting the gold standard for lesbo celebrities,
and Bennett assures us that they couldn't be
happier. "Everything's fantastic. Were very
much in love. We're happy. We started telling people at film festivals chat we've been
together for 12 years, because they were like,
When did you start dating:' And we're like,
We've been together for 12 years. And they're
like, Really:"'
Bennett laughs like a teenager with a crush.
'J\nd I say, 'No, no, no: So, it's like we're not
helping with the rumor mill:' ■
whatareyourothergoals?
I'm not seeking anything but a life now. I'm
not looking to achieve greater fame or to be
on the road. I'm going to be 57 this year and
I probably am still touring more than most
people my age. But I do try to not lose sight of
my home life and my responsibilities and my
peace of mind. I want to incorporate something more sacred or holy in my life.
TellsusabouttheFenandhowit factorsinto
yourdesireforthesacredandholy?
I did a year's worth of workshops there. I'm
thinking of making it kind of a micro-cabin
community, where the Fen would be the
longhouse, essentially, and there would be livable cabins on the property and then you just
use the big kitchen and the bathroom and
everything and you have your own private
space, either for people to live long-term,
people who can't afford whole houses, and
want community, or else people who want
to come and write for a month or more and
keep the house empty.
You'refromCanada,butyou'vereallymadea
homeforyourselfin theStates.Doyouconsider
yourselfanAmerican
now?
Well no, I'm Canadian. I'm Canadian and I live
in the United States because that's where my
work is. I have a green card and that's how it
goes. But I identify Canadian. I've been invited
to become an American, but deep down I can't.
I can't become an American because I wasn't
brought up on the concept of number one. I
mean, Canadians would think of why just one:'
Let's get a group. It's a different mind-set and a
different psychology. [ReneRosechild]
2009 STATEMENT
OFOWNERSHIP
Publication Title: Curve. Publication No.: 0010-355. Filing
Date: October 21, 2009. Issue Frequency: Monthly except
bimonthly Jan/Feb and July/Aug. Number of Issues
Published Annually: 10; Annual Subscription Price: $49.50
Complete Mailing Address: 1550 Bryant St. Ste. 510, San
Francisco, CA 94103-4856. Contact Person: Flo Enriquez
Telephone: (415) 863-6538 x17. Publisher: Frances Stevens,
1550 Bryant St. Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103-4267.
Executive Editor: Diane Anderson-Minshall, 7121 SE Grant
St., Portland, OR 97215. Managing Editor: Kristin Smith,
1550 Bryant St. Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103-4856.
Owner(s): Outspoken Enterprises, 1550 Bryant St. Ste. 510,
San Francisco, CA 94103-4856; Frances Stevens, 1550
Bryant St. Ste. 510, San Francisco, CA 94103-4856; Katie
Sanborn, 116 Bark Ct., Half Moon Bay, CA 94109. Known
Bondholder Mortgagees and other security holders owning
one percent or more of total amount of bonds, mortgages or
other securities: none. Tax Status: has not changed during
proceeding 12 months.
Publication Title: Curve. Issue Date for Circulation Data:
Nov. 2009. Extent and Nature of Circulation: Average No.
Copies Each Issue During Preceding 12 Months: A) Total
No. Copies Net Press Run: 77863. 8) Paid Circulation. (By
Mail and Outside the Mail) (1) Mailed Outside-County Paid
Subscriptions Stated on Form 3541: 19,621; (2) Mailed
In-County Paid Subscriptions Stated on Form 3541: 611;
(3) Paid Distribution Outside the Mails Including Sales
Through Dealers and Carriers, Street Vendors, Counter
Sales, and Other Paid Distribution outside USPS: 40,130;
(4) Paid Distribution by Other Classes of Mail Through the
USPS: 1,011. C) Total Paid Distribution: 61,790. D) Free or
Nominal Rate Distribution by Mail and Outside the Mail:
(1) Free or Nominal Rate Outside-County Copies included
on Form 3541: 3,200; (2) Free or Nominal Rate In-County
Copies included on Form 3541: 0; (3) Free or Nominal Rate
Copies Mailed at Other Classes Mailed Through the USPS:
450; (4) Free or Nominal Rate Distribution Outside the Mail:
11,556. E) Total Free or Nominal Rate Distribution: 15,206.
F) Total Distribution: 76,579. G) Copies Not Distributed:
1,284. H) Total: 77,863. I) Percent Paid 80.14%. Extent and
Nature of Circulation/No. Copies of Single Issue Published
Nearest to Filing Date A) Total No. Copies Net Press Run:
76,661. 8) Paid Circulation. (By Mail and Outside the Mail)
(1) Mailed Outside-County Paid Subscriptions Stated on
Form 3541: 19, 110; (2) Mailed In-County Paid Subscriptions
Stated on Form 3541 695; (3) Paid Distribution Outside the
Mails Including Sales Through Dealers and Carriers, Street
Vendors, Counter Sales, and Other Non-USPS: 40,200;
(4) Paid Distribution by Other Classes of Mail Through the
USPS: 1,050. C) Total Paid Distribution: 62,055. D) Free
or Nominal Rate Distribution (by Mail and Outside the
Mail): (1) Free or Nominal Rate Outside-County as Stated
on Form 3541: 3,100; (2) Free or Nominal Rate In-County
Copies included on Form 3541: 0; (3) Free or Nominal Rate
Distribution Mailed at Other Classes Through the USPS:
450; (4) Free or Nominal Rate Distribution Outsidethe Mail:
10,606. E) Total Free or Nominal Rate Distribution: 14,156. F)
Total Distribution: 75,211. G) Copies Not Distributed: 1,450.
H) Total: 76,661. I) Percent Paid: 81.18%. Publication of
Statement of Ownership: January/February 2010.
cwrve
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January/February
2010
I63
: TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
FayCarmona
Why we want to wake up to this sexy morning talk show host.
By Ariel Messman-Rucker
1 . Shedoesn'tlet homophobiclistenersfaze
her. Carmona regularly has callers tell her
she's a lesbian because she hasn't met the
right man, that she's going to hell and that
homosexuality is a choice. But she's able to
stay strong in spite of these remarks because
so many people tell her that they have changed
their minds about the gay community after
listening to her show.
2. She embracesfemininity."You know,
I love femmes. I'm a femme myself. I
love heels. I love makeup. I love all that;'
Carmona says. "In Miami, there were a lot
of drag queens and gay boys, and they don't
let you leave the house unless your hair and
makeup is done:'
For the past two years, Spanishspeaking women have been
crushing on Fay Carmona, and we
can see why. She's the sexy and
smart cohost of The Luis Jimenez
Show, the No. 1 rated Spanishlanguage morning show in New
York City. Even in a show filled with
outrageous characters, musical
parodies and ridiculous comedy
sketches, Carmona stands out as
the star. Besides being drop-dead
gorgeous, this queer Latina also has
a sharp wit and a knack for comedy,
which comes in handy when dealing
with the homophobic listeners
who call into the show. Before
making a name for herself in New
York, Carmona ruled the airwaves
of South Beach, Fla., and the San
Francisco Bay Area, causing women
up and down both coasts to swoon
at the sound of her voice.
64
Icurve
6. EverySundayis SexySunday.Carmona
says she and her girlfriend try to make
Sundays as relaxing as possible. "We spend
the whole day naked, relaxing and having sex:'
Then, when 2 p.m. rolls around? "We put on
the fuck,me pumps:' Talk about hot!
7. She oncestoleShakira'slipstick."It was
really red;' she laughs. "It wasn't really my
color:' And that isn't the only stunt Carmona
has pulled. She's jumped out of an airplane,
escaped from a car underwater and even swum
with crocodiles, all in the name of ratings.
8.
Shewas hypnotized
intobeingstraight,but
it didn't stick. As a good,natured joke, The
Luis Jimenez Show hired a hypnotist to try
to make Carmona straight. "[I] let myself be
3. She holdsher own with a male cohost. hypnotized, which was a big crock of crap. It
"It's hard with boys because you give them a didn't work;' Carmona says, laughing.
hand and they want the arm;' says Carmona.
"I want them to be comfortable with me, but
at the same time I also need to command that
respect from them as a woman. Do I hold my
own? I have no choice:'
4. She's modest.Carmona hasn't let the
fact that she has scads of fans go to her
head. 'Tm completely humbled, completely
amazed, completely honored. To feel that
I'm part of somebody's admiration ... it's an
amazing thing:'
5.
Shewearsher prideon her sleeve.As an
out lesbian on an iiber,popular radio show,
she is opening the eyes of people who have
never come into contact with the queer com,
munity. 'Tm educating people. I'm letting
them know that we're normal-this
is my
life. There's nothing wrong with the fact that
I love another woman. There's nothing wrong
with the fact that I want to marry someone
and share my life with them. There's nothing
wrong with the fact that we want to have chil,
dren, just like you. And we should have the
same rights that you do:'
"I'vegot the ring.
I'm readyto do the
deed, but I'm kindof
holdingout, waiting
for shitto be legit."
9. She thinks Megan Fox is a hottie,too.
"I know that when I see Megan Fox on
Transformers, I'm definitely thinking she's
hot, and I know that I'm not the only one
thinking that;' Carmona says.
1 0. Sheand her partnerare waitingto get
marrieduntilNewYorklegalizesgaymarriage.
'Tve got the ring. I'm ready to do the deed,
but I'm kind of holding out, waiting for shit
to be legit, for me to be able to say, 'We live
in New York. Were going to get married
here, honey;" Carmona explains. "I would be
so proud to see that marriage license saying
New York:' ■
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