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Description
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ToC Cover: Bringing Sexy Back, For Real [The Real L Word] by Rachel Shatto (p30); Pride Issue; Not a 'T' Party by Ashley Love (p36); A Guatemalan Affair (p38); At Home on the High Seas by Kathy Belge (p62); Lone Star Pride by Jillian Eugenios (p72); Pride Vox Pop by Jillian Eugenios (p43); The Power of a Few by Lauren Barkume (p46); Where the Bois Are by Laniaya Hoofatt (p50); Lovers in Beijing by Cédric Spilthooren (p54); Jersey Girls by Patricia A. Post (p60); Pride at 30,000 Feet by Yana Tallon-Hicks (68); Cover Photo by Warwick Saint/Showime.
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Pride Issue
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issue
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5
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Date Issued
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June 2011
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol21_No5_June-2011_0CR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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Sizzling, Sexy and
IS BACK!
Even More Scandalous
HRIDGESTOnE
Your Journey, Our Passion
Designed for the COURSE of your life.
CERTAIN
DESTINATIONS
CALL FOR EXTRAORDINARY
TIRES.
Fordrivers who want to get the mostout of their cars,
/TrsBRIDGESTONE
ORNOTHING.
POTENZA"
1-800-807-9555tiresafety.com
bridgestonetire.com
■
Celebrating pride
PLACESTOWORK
2010
for LGBT Equality
100% CORPORATEEQUALITYINDEJ!.
When you look back at the efforts and achievements of LGBT men and women
over the years, there's every reason to be proud. Not just once a year, but every
day. Wells Fargo takes great pride in the diversity of the communities we serve.
That's why we continue to make financial contributions to LGBT nonprofits,
provide services specific to the needs of our LGBT customers and foster a work
environment that doesn't just accept differences, but celebrates them.
Happy Pride. All year round.
Together we'll go far
wellsfargo.com/lgbt
© 2011 Wells Fargo Bank, N.A. All rights reserved. Member FDIC.
Features JUNE2011
30
Bringing Sexy Back, For Real
The Real L Word returns with more depth,
more diversity and dare we say, more sex. Fire
up your DVR and discuss! By Rachel Shatto
36
Not a 'T' Party
Take a walk in the shoes of transgender,
transsexual and intersex people this Pride.
By Ashley Love
38
A Guatemalan Affair
Meet the first lesbian couple to get married
in Guatemala, Spanish-colonial style-and
what style!
62
At Home On the High Seas
Single or vacationing alone? For over more
than three decades Olivia has honed the fine
art of Sapphic hospitality. By Kathy Beige
72
Lone Star Pride
Lesbian Pride in Texas takes the form of
a new reality show. By Jillian Eugenios
SpecialPrideSection
What does Pride mean to lesbians today?
43
Pride Vox Pop
We took to the streets to ask, What does
Pride mean to you? By Jillian Eugenios
46
The Power of a Few
After bloodshed, South African
lesbians march against prejudice.
By Lauren Barkume
50
Where the Bois Are
Masculine queers of color step up
to the plate. By Laniaya Hoofatt
54
Lovers In Beijing
Meet the Chinese lesbians pushing
the boundaries of acceptance.
By Cedric Spilthooren
60
Jersey Girls
Flashback to '80s Asbury Park in its
lesbian heyday. By Patricia A. Post
68
Pride at 30,000 Feet
Fly the gay-friendly way with these
airlines. By Yana Tallon-Hicks
COVER
PHOTO
BYWARWICK
SAINT/SHOWTIME
2
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resident lesbian dating expert, Meredith
Schlosser. Plus, 10 tricks to keep your long
distance love alive-and smoking hot.
Editor's Letter
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Letters
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Out in Front
21
Scene
22
80
Lipstick & Dipstick
Politics
Need Gay Pride? You betcha. More now
than ever before.
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
Stars
28
Laugh Track
Kate Clinton gets her Pride on with
characteristic wit and insight.
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Ladies, behave! Well, it wouldn't be
Lesbofile without a few hot messes.
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Top Ten Reasons We Love ...
A sexy, modern take on the traditional
Pride gear-with zero tacky rainbow
tie-dye in sight.
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Contributors
20
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Relationships: Meet The Setup Squad's
Music: Queer trio EZ Tiger offers a
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Film: Our viewing picks, plus meet the
cast of LezBeProud,Houston's hot new
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Books: In a new book, bi-national
couples tough it out across borders.
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Food: Coffee is more than a breakfast drink.
For one lesbian, it's a humanitarian mission.
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Tech: Make your voice heard! Become a
lesbian podcaster. Here's how.
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Impressionism is the second most inJluential movement this paintin9 was part of
A TOLERANT WORLD IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. But we're getting there. At Progressive, we /
believe in respecting all people and finding beauty in their differences. It's just one way we live
up to our name. To learn more about our Works in Progress initiative, visit progressive.com/lgbt.
Progressive Casualty Ins. Co. and its affiliates, Mayfield Village, OH. 10D00056 (06/10)
PROGR£II/V£®
EDITOR'S
NOTE
curve
B
ack in my early years of cultural studies, I had a
highly esteemed college professor who chastised me for
saying that I believed I was born gay. She felt that this "born
gay" belie£ if it became widely accepted, could open the doors
to Nazi~style minority cleansing. Moreover, as a second~wave
feminist, she valued the "right to choose:' Like so many in
positions of authority, she made the mistake of viewing an
earnest claim to difference other than race, but such as sexual
orientation or gender identity, as a political
ploy-a move driven by a desire for"special
treatment:'
It's disconcerting how the demand
for equal rights by any minority can be
twisted, even by intelligent people, into
something else. Gays have been labeled as
drama queens, lesbians as dour, bisexuals
as nonexistent and trans people as too
complicated to understand-and
no one
knows what to do with genderqueers and
the intersex-all because they continue to
stand up and demand their own authentic
identities and equal rights. And they
should: Not one of these identities is better
or more valid than another. I didn't choose
to be a lesbian any more than I chose to
be white or female, so it's astonishing to
me that the extent to which I can "own''
my identity and live fully is not an automatic right. Only
heterosexuals are accorded the privilege of being accepted and
rewarded throughout their lives for popping out on the "right"
side of the social status quo.
Many countries, the United States included, drag their feet
on the issue of human rights, which includes LGBT rights. I
am not a lifestyle choice- I am a fact. But right now, I am a
second class citizen. I believe equal rights for all LGBT people
will happen in my lifetime, but until then we need Pride and
the protection afforded by the rainbow umbrella that unites, if
sometimes uneasily, the L, the G, the B and the T.
In getting this issue together, I felt that it was important
to hear from groups that don't automatically take center stage
at Pride: African American, Asian, South African and trans.
Hello, also, to the bi~national lesbian couples fighting separa~
tion. I'm one of you. On a lighter note we have the wonderful
Kate Clinton to keep us amused and the cast of The Real L
Word to keep cranking out the dyke drama. A girl's gotta have
some fun, right? Happy Pride!
Until
Equality,
Pride
~~
Merryn Jo s
Editor-inief
merryn@curvemag.com
6
I curve
THE BEST-SELLING
JUNE 2011
I
LESBIAN
MAGAZINE
VOLUME 21 NUMBER 5
Publisher Silke Bader
Founding Publisher Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Merryn Johns
Managing Editor Rachel Shatto
Associate Editor Jillian Eugenios
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Contributing Editors Diane Anderson-Minshall, Victoria A.
Brownworth, Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
EditorialAssistant Liska Koenig
PUBLISHING
Associate Publisher Diana L. Berry
Director of Operations Laura McConnell
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Jamie Anderson, Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin, Bree
Clarke, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Beren deMotier, Lauren Marie
Fleming, Lisa Gunther, Tania Hammidi, Kathi lsserman, Melany
Joy Beck, Gillian Kendall, Georgia Krokus, Kate Lacey, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Ariel MessmanRucker, Alison Peters, Heather Robinson, Laurie K. Schenden, Lori
Selke, Janelle Sorenson, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Yana TallonHicks, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Erica Beckman, Brie Childers, Meagan Cignoli, Cheryl Craig,
JD Disalvatore, Tony Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Cheryl Mazak,
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Stelten, Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams, Misty Winter
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Volume 21 Issue 5 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published monthly (except for bimonthly
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Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part,
without written permission from the publisher. Publication of the name or photograph of any
persons or organizations appearing, advertising or listing in Curve may not be taken as an
indication of the sexual orientation of that individual or group unless specifically stated. Curve
welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE for response.
Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions cannot be
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CONTRIBUTORS
"To find a group of people who look past your outer shell
and dive deep into who you are from the inside out is
amazing. The Brown Boi Project's core values, mission and
ability to build leaders leaves me speechless and wanting
more;' says LaniayaHoofattwho is currently a political/
social-networking researcher. Hoofatt took to writing as
an outlet during high school but later joined the college
newspaper. In her senior year she was chosen to work
on the student project for the National Lesbian Gay
Journalist Association in Washington D.C. From there
she interned at OurChart and Velvetpark where she is currently the production editor for the site. For the past year
and a half she has been working on her first novel and a
graphic novel aimed at queer youth.
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French photographer Cedric Spilthoorenspent several
months in Beijing, China, taking portraits and interviewing
gay and lesbian couples. "In a country where communal
and family values are the pillars of society, where an individual's life is directed by the heavy weight of filial devotion,
to pursue one's own sexual orientation is a gamble. This
work doesn't aim to judge Chinese society, but rather to tell a
story about people who love each other. I am touched and
emboldened by people who have the guts to be what they are,
no matter the country they live in:' Check out his stunning
pictorial on page 54. (cedric-spilthooren-photography.com)
Freelance writing, incessant volunteering and substitute
teaching in British Columbia have kept KyraThomson's
professional life unpredictable. Fortunately, this is offset
by the comforting constants in her life: Her British partner,
her Gretsch guitar, a vinyl record collection, omelettes and
strong coffee, Harriet the cat, hockey and helping out every
week at a children's hospice in Vancouver. In addition to
volunteering at the hospice, Kyra also organizes and hosts
an annual live music fundraiser for the facility in memory
of two nieces.
"These days I'd rather eat a hot slab of cornbread than
"but it
fine caviar;' says freelance writer KellyRobinson,
took me a long time to appreciate Southern cooking. It's
easy to dismiss the dishes you grew up with, especially when
you first leave home and want to broaden your palate
along with your horizons:• After sampling and writing
about some of the best dishes in the world, Robinson
has come full circle, and now counts the food traditions
of the Appalachians as among the world's best. A lifelong resident of Tennessee, Robinson has written for
magazines such as Mental Floss, Games and Culinary
Trends, and is working on her first book, a guide to
post-apocalyptic fiction and film. She shares the South's
cuisine in "The Savory South" on page 66.
June 2011
17
LETTERS
"colonialist stance" toward third world women
and cultures. Ms. Brownworth makes the all
too common assumption that Western feminist
perspectives such as clothing, and body visi~
bility should apply to all women. The problem
is not in fact the burqa or hijab, the problem
is with autocratic and patriarchal oppressive
governments. But forcing a women to de~veil
her head does not automatically make her free.
Allowing a woman the choice to wear what
she wants offers the autonomy we should all
have as women in any part of the world.
From Curve's
Facebook Wall
"Lovethis mag!"-Simone Lee
I lovethis MAGAZINE!!!
Thebestone
for our kind! -Celeste Fondeur
Lovethe mag... makesbeinggay
that muchmorethrilling:)
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Lovethe [RubyRose]cover.
-Vikki Freeman
Changing Demographics?
Frustrated Fashion
I love curve magazine and was thrilled to
see my local bookstore carry your subscrip~
tion. The magazine keeps me updated on
what's going on in pop culture on the lesbian
front. And while I love curve, I found the
"Dangerous Fashion" [Vol. 21#3] article very
problematic. The trend of Western feminists
and media has been to use their position of
privilege to criticize Third~world women's
problems in what Uma Narayan calls a
Votefor CurveMagazine
onTheBestMagazineEver.com
pageof
TBWE.com
(TheBestWebsiteEver.com)!
-Bet Maniaci
My partner and I have found that we are less
and less represented in your magazine. It's
dear that the new curve ownership is aim~
ing for a different demographic. The "YUD"
(Young Urban Dyke).
I heartCurveMagazine:)
-Suzanne Westenhoefer
- Teresa Hart and Phyllis Adams, London,
Ontario
Justsubscribed!Vay!
-Genesis Jimenez
Editor'sNote:curve is for every lesbian, no
matter what age, race or geographicallocation.
lf you feel you are not being representedin the
magazine, tell us about about yourself and your
part of the world.Join our EAGER (Editorial
Advisory Group of EngagedReaders)forum on
curvemag.comand have a say infuture issues.
Is therea mailinglist to receiveyour
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Visitcurvemag.com
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Dude for Diversity
Poll
How are you celebrating
Pride this year?
47%
28%
17%
4%
4%
I'm watchingthe parade
I'd loveto go,but I'm notout
I just wanted to tell you all at curve how much
I enjoy your magazine. I've been a subscriber
for over a year and look forward to every new
issue. Something I did want to comment
on-it seems every month in the letters page,
there's a reader unhappy that something about
the previous issue didn't speak to them or
their situation. I'm always a little puzzled by
this. As a hetero male, I'm probably about as
far away from the "target demographic" that
I can be, and yet I find thought~provoking,
inspiring and educational material in every
issue. Frankly, I don't expect curve, or any
magazine, to somehow cater to me or my
ii'.JILike
interests or identity in everything it does; and
really,how dull that would be if a magazine did.
It's the diversity, the opportunity to expand my
understanding, the chance to see beyond my
own borders and experiences and world~view
that I find so compelling and rewarding.
-Dennis Edelen,Miami, Fla.
CORRECTIONS
BecauseI Can is Daphne Willis' second album.
[Vol.21#3]
Beenthere,donethat
andI'm overit
I'm in the parade
I'm skippingthe parade
butnotthe parties
According
to a curvemag.com
poll
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Thinking Outside the Pink Triangle
Montreal~based graphic designer Erny Storey of Storey
Elementary first caught our eye in 2009 as the artistic vision~
ary behind the striking album covers for bands such as Tegan
and Sara and Death Cab for Cutie. For Storey, design is as
crucial an element to album sales as it is to the success of a
political movement.
It is this interest in combining social justice with intel~
ligent graphic campaigns and merchandise that led writer
and web consultant Sarah Fobes to team up with Storey to
launch Revel & Riot. A web~based company, Revel & Riot
promotes LGBT rights, awareness and equality through new
media, graphics, writing and products.
The website showcases a growing assortment of innovative
merchandise, with the intent to promote dialogue in society
around LGBT issues. Storey and Fobes understand that
"when you wear a clever shirt that addresses a serious topic,
people take notice and come forward to engage. Our shirts
are about Pride, humor and education:'
But what sets Revel & Riot apart from other sloganeering is
their commitment to provide extensive educational resources
on topics such as coming out and transgender health, as well
as role model profiles and an impressive searchable database
of community organizations. They also gather relevant news
items and uniquely divide these current events into a "revel"
category that celebrates accomplishments and political
victories; or the "riot" category, which monitors homophobia,
transphobia, ignorance and violence in the news.
"When we were thinking of a name for our company we
tried to come up with something that really captured the
essence of LGBT life today;' explains Storey. "On the one
,_ ~~
~
~
-·
Revel & R_iot:sSarah Fobes (left) and Erny Storey
.....
hand we have pride, we celebrate, we love, we create our
own communities and often our own families, but then on
the other hand there is so much suffering, discrimination,
violence and alienation. It can be a life of extreme contrasts
for many people:'
Fobes and Storey decided that a more natural way to
present both sides would be to play into the contrast,
because "somehow the painful stuff is more manageable that
way;' says Storey. "The contrast then becomes something we
can balance rather than something that breaks us down:'
Revel & Riot is growing steadily, in both content and
presence, and will continue to expand their online resources,
educational materials and designs. You can purchase their
merchandise online, or find them at San Francisco Pride this
year, and revel in the fact that a percentage of every shirt sale is
donated to LGBT organizations and campaigns.
(revelandriot.com)
[KyraThomson]
~I
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June 2011
I 11
CURVATURES
Modern Pride
Hot rainbow gear to spice up this year's parade. By Rachel Shatto
Who among us doesn't have at least one shudder~worthy photo from a previous Pride of ourselves wearing
something tacky, in the name of allegiance to the rainbow flag? How did you, a normally fashion~forward
dyke, end up decked out in Labrys symbols and rainbow tie~dye? Simple: A lack of options. But that's no reason
to bid the rainbow adieu forever because now more than ever the rainbow and its polychromatic symbolism
represents the unprecedented diversity within our ever~evolving LGBT community. So this year, let your
Pride flag fly by infusing your we're~here~we're~queer~rainbow~gear with a little glamour. Here are 10 of our
sexy suggestions for clothes, jewelry and accessories-with
nary a freedom ring or tie~dye tee in sight.
0
a
1. Tastethe Rainbow
Youknowwhat's neversexy?
Dehydration
andplasticbottles.We
suggesttacklingtwo libidokillersat
oncewith a rainbowsparkleSiggwater
bottle.Nodoubtyou'veseenthese
eco-friendlythirst quenchingsolutions
just abouteverywhereandnowyoucan
sip awayanddeclarethat you'rean out
proudhomoall at the sametime.
($22,cafepress.com)
2. Can'tRainon ThisParade
Comerainor shine,nothingprotectsyou
fromthe weatherlike an umbrella.So,for
Pride,why not gayyourboringold umbrella
with a rainbowumbrellafromthe Museum
of ModernArt's collection.Besides,who
knowswho mightduckunderfor... well...
cover.($25,uncommongoods.com)
3. DogDays
Youaren'tthe onlyonewho wantsto be
lookinghot at Pride,so don'tforgetabout
yourpoochwhenit's time to dressto
impress.It doesn'tget anycuterthanthe
Easygorainbowharnessvest.PuppyPrideto-go.($25,pawsonpalmbeach.com)
5. ShiverMe Timbers
Handcrafted
andorganic,rainbowwood
hoopsfromTheEarringChest
are unique
andattention-grabbing
jewelrythat's so
chic you'll wearthemyear-round.
($1O,etsy.com/shop/TheEarringChest)
4. FemmeFascination
Prideis a greatexcuseto unleashyour
innerdiva,so go crazyoverthe top and
extravagant,
andjust havefun with your
accessories.Ourpickfor eye-catching
glamour:A hot one-of-a-kindburlesque
inspiredfascinatorfrom Blazing
Thimbles.($40andup,etsy.com/shop/
BlazingThimbles)
-
&. KawaiiKicks
Treatyourfeet to an
adorablePride-fest
with the animeinspired
BunnyHill Keds.From
the streetsof San
Franciscoto Tokyothese
shoesarefun, irreverent,
functionalandcutefor
butchesandfemmes
alike.($60,zazzle.com)
7. Homosof a Feather
Longfeatherearringsare
Oberhot right nowandwith
FeatherObsession's
supersexy
rainbowearringsmadefrom
undyedmacawparrotfeathersyou
getthe bestof bothworlds.($24,
etsy.com/shop/FeatherObsession)
8. TurnYourHaters
Into Congratulators
Declareyourpersonalspacea
hate-freezone,whereyou'refree
to get your Prideon with this
cheekytee byTrulySanctuary.
($22,etsy.com/shop/
trulysanctuary)
9. PunkRockPride
Feathersandglitter too femme
for your liking?Well,howabout
addinga little edgeinstead
with this supercool,handcrochetedrainbowMohawk
hat.($17,etsy.com/shop/
Craftielilhart)
1o.Fromthe Hip
Likeit or not,fannypacks
havemadea comeback-this
time rebrandedas "belt
bags."Stopfightingthe
inevitableandgivein to this
oh-so-user-friendly
trend
by choosinga fierceone.
Ourpick:the hot pink denim
numberfrom Rocksand
Salt.($64,etsy.com/shop/
rocksandsalt)
PHOTOS: COURTESY
OF CAFEPRESS (1),
ROMIELIZ GREEN (4),
ZAZZLE.COM (6),
SHARON DAVIS (7)
June 2011
I 13
CURVATURES
the rundown
Massachusetts
Governor DevalPatrickhas nominated
BarbaraA.Lenkto serve on the state's Supreme Judicial
Court. Lenk is the longest~servingjustice on the state's
Court of Appeals, and is openly lesbian. If confirmed,
Lenk will be the first openly LGBT member of
Massachusetts' highest court ... The Nebraska
Supreme
Courtis considering whether a lesbian can
have parental rights terminated if she fails to act like
a parent after a separation. TeriLathamand Susan
Schwerdtfeger
were together for over 15 years before
having a son together. When the relationship ended,
Schwerdtfeger argued that Latham hadn't remained
part of their son's life and should lose parental rights.
Latham says her access to their son has
been restricted ... President Obamahas
announced his nomination of Alison
Nathanfor a judgeship on the U.S.
DistrictCourtfortheSouthern
Districtof
NewYorkState.Nathan currently serves
as the Special Counsel to the Solicitor General as part
of the New York State Office of the Attorney
General. She is an out lesbian, and is
the fourth LGBT judicial appoint~
ment by the Obama administra~
tion ... BBCSports Broadcaster
ClareBalding
says that coming out
as a lesbian has made her a better
broadcaster because she is no longer
hiding who she is. Balding also
says that coming out has made
her more popular with women.
"Women are funny the way they watch telly, because
they don't like women who they think might nick
series TheRealHousewives
their husband:: .. Bravo's
of Orange
County
is breaking new ground with the
Rocha,the first openly lesbian
inclusion of Fernanda
housewife to be part of the series. Rocha is making
waves about her inability to be legally married because
of her sexual orientation, and has posed topless for
campaign ... Belinda
Sanchez,
an 18~year~old
the NoHB
EastHighSchoolin Illinois,
lesbian student at Proviso
has won the right to wear a
tux to her prom. After school
officials told Sanchez that she
needed to wear a dress, she
contacted the ACLUwho sent
a letter on her behalf to the
school. The school maintains
they were considering changing
their decision before receiving
the letter from the ACLU.
[Sassafras
Lowrey]
racktrc.,_i
Treasure Chest
Nothing says classy dyke like a brassiere full of loose house
keys, credit cards and cash-and
it's a quick way to lose
things, too. But here's a saucy solution for the pocketless
gal on the go. Now you can tuck your goodies into your ...
well. .. goodies with the Racktrap, an ingenious little pocket
that slips into your bra and can hold a license, cash, keys
and credit cards, so you can boogie hands-free. Ideal for
those late nights at Pride, the Racktrap is available in a
fashion three-pack (black, white and nude lace), a sweatproof sports model and in divatastic gold. No pockets, no
purse, no problem. ($8 and up, theracktrap.com)
Hot Tee of the Month
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HONORARY
LIFETIME
LESBIAN
MEMBERSHIP
OUTINFRONT
Unabashed
Two women create change
through laughter and tenacity.
By Sheryl Kay
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Comic Relief
By day, SimoneCampbellis a sales and support specialist for a West Coast educational
software company, by night she's a stand-up
comic and on top of it all she's a committed
social activist. "I try to keep my finger on the
pulse of what's going on in my community;'
says Campbell.
One cause close to Campbell's heart is
preventing youth violence. She recalls a
horrifying incident in which a teenager put
a gun to her head-and
pulled the trigger.
The gun wasn't loaded, but that didn't prevent
Campbell from seeing her life flash before her
eyes. The teen then put the gun down and
said, "Gee, it's your lucky day, dyke:•
The episode propelled Campbell to
spend 10 years on the Speakers Bureau of
Community United Against Violence, an
organization co-founded by Tom Ammiano
in San Francisco. "Do you know that more
than 25 percent of the violence perpetuated
against us [is committed by] kids?" she asks.
"We need to change that, and the only way is
through education and talking to kids-and
to keep talking:'
Campbell also lends her energetic support to Benefit for the Boob, the proceeds of
which go to the San Francisco Breast Cancer
Emergency Fund and to the Gay American
Heroes Foundation. She also recently worked
with the Harvey Milk Foundation on the
Official Harvey Milk Day Celebration in Los
Angeles, for which she was able to secure the
rooftop of Madame Tussauds Wax Museum
on Hollywood Boulevard as the venue.
While Campbell is deeply committed to
community activism in her personal life, her
comedy show is another story."I may be political, but my humor is hardly what I would call
politically correct;' she says. "I talk about
everything from wardrobe malfunctions to
sex to pot smoking. Nothing is safe. Let's
face it-people are there to laugh:'
Campbell believes laughter is good medicine
but, more importantly, it's a gateway for action.
"The goal is to get people laughing, and hopefully they are also thinking about the little
ways they can make a difference:•
Bold Brit
Twenty-five years ago, Clare Dimyonstood
just steps away from Buckingham Palace,
attending her very first LGBT Pride event in
a country where homophobia was as common
as afternoon tea.
So it's easy to imagine the overwhelming
emotions Dimyon felt late last year when
she was actually invited into the same palace,
greeted by Prince Charles and awarded an
MBE (Member of the British Empire) specifically in recognitionof her gay rights work.
Dimyon, a longtime activist who also teaches
engineering and technology, describes what
she felt at that moment: "Immense pride for
this first official honor for Pride, pride at the
first reading inside Buckingham Palace of the
words 'lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender'
and pride that I am now trusted and beloved
of Her Majesty, the same head of state who
had to sign the appalling Section 28 into law,
which treated me and other lesbian and gay
people as child molesters:•
But even while her own homeland was
moving slowly toward full recognition of
LGBT rights, Dimyon never sat back complacently. She took her work on the road and,
as far back as 1995, started making visits to
Central and Eastern Europe. She began with
a visit to Poland. Worried that gay men did
not have access to prophylactics, she smuggled
in 500 condoms and handed them over to
Lambda Warszawa.
"I was mightily relieved not to have to
explain that to the Polish customs officials;'
she says.
From there, Dimyon has taken her activism
to Latvia, Moldavia, Estonia, Russia, Slovakia,
Hungary and the Czech Republic.
Why does she do itr
"If I can do something that moves things
in the right direction, why wouldn't I do itr"
she says. She also credits her Quaker beliefs:
"The central tenets of Quaker faith are truth,
justice and equality, so it is simply impossible
to stand by when there is work to be done to
achieve them:' ■
June 2011
I 17
LESBOFILE
Dyke Drama-rama Chely gets engaged, Gaga gets censored,
and it looks like it may finally be the end for LiRo. By Jocelyn Voo
SometimesCowgirlsDon'tGetthe Blues
A NewSeries
Wedding bells are ringing for country singer
Chely Wright and girlfriend Lauren Blitzer,
who've set the date for late August. As for
who did the asking, no bended knee here:
"We proposed to each other. Designed our
rings together, too;' Wright told After Ellen.
com. Looks like the couple, who met through
their shared child advocacy work, are in for
many years of togetherness.
Model and actor JessicaClarkisn't just slated
to appear in the upcoming movie The Perfect
Ending-she's also going to be starring in
State of Georgia,a new ABC Family comedy
series set to premiere June 25, alongside
Raven-Symone.
Symone is set to play an
aspiring actress in N.Y.C., while Clark is her
"science geek" best friend.
NewGirlin Town
Another month, another LiRo story. Despite
a few not-so-long-ago tweets from Sam
Ronsonabout LindsayLohanstill asleep in
her bed, the two were never officially back
together. And now it looks like they're definitely not getting back together, because
there's a new girl in town: Yoga instructor
Tiffany Russo was seen making out with
Ronson in March. Er-make
that divorced
yoga instructor. Russo split with her husband
of seven years in 2006 due to "irreconcilable
differences:'
Song,Censored
No doubt you've heard Lady
"Born This Way" by now,
Gaga's
as it's been No. 1 on Billboard's
charts for over five weeks. That
is, unless you're in Malaysia. The
song, which promotes racial and
18
I curve
sexual tolerance, has been partially garbled
by the radio broadcasters in that countryspecifically, the lyrics "No matter gay, straight
or bi, lesbian, trans gendered life, I'm on the
right track, baby:'
Broadcasters claim their cautiousness stems
from government restrictions. In the past,
other artists like Beyonceand KylieMinogue
have either had their music or live performances toned down. However, some Malaysian
activists cry foul. Looks like the song's message
got lost in translation here.
zCJ
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Hip-HopHomos?
S2,
Step aside Oprah and Gayle-here
comes
the MissyElliottand KeriHilsonlesbian rumor
mill. After Sapphic gossip started swirling on
the Internet from a purported "insider;' both
artists took to setting the record straight.
Hilson claimed it was all lies, tweeting,
"How do those ppl sleep at night? I love and
respect Missy and her work, but we've never
worked [together] and I've probably seen her
five times in my life:' Elliott responded in
kind: "Girl, it amazes me how we
never worked together, and barely
know each other, but they make
up a full out lie:'
Readers, it's true: You can't
believe all the gossip in print.
Unless it's Lesbofile. ■
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June 2011 I 19
STARS
Summer Lovin'
Things get hot, heavy and full of Pride this June.
By Charlene Lichtenstein
Gemini(May22-June 21)
Expect the unexpected at work. A new office romance
could be brewing by the coffee station. Or perhaps
you're up for a big promotion? The real pay,off is
something that is totally behind the scenes. And that
means you might be caught off guard when all is
revealed. Avoid stealing office supplies until you
find out what is what.
Cancer(June22-July 23)
A particular selective dub or organization has its eye
on making you a member. This can lead to big things
for you-both important contacts and opportunities.
So keep your eyes and ears open for an important
message and don't stray too far afield. You want to
be ready to make your big move. How big is really
up to you.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Gemini(May 22-June 21)
All your hard work is finally recognized and rewarded.
SapphicTwinshavemany, Your creative ideas gain an audience and your pet
manyproudgal palsfrom projects become cultural trends. Proud Lionesses can
all walks of life. Sheis no now take control and make their voices heard. What
snoband is truly interested
will you do with all this power and prestige? Will you
in what makespeopletick.
spread your good cheer around or become a profes,
Forthis reason,you may
sional diva? Let's try and guess.
haveto shareher attention
with the immediateworld,
but it will be an interesting Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
and rewardingexperience. The best thing that you can do this month is to make
Hergatheringsare special yourself scarce. Take a well,deserved vacation and just
events,chock-a-blockfull of relax. If time is short and money is tight, find ways to
famousand not-so-famous expand your horizons closer to home. Even if your
folks exchangingsizzling luxury sauna is just a hot bath at home, it can be the
gossip,bon mots and escape you need to de,stress. Push the world later.
engagingideas.You'llfind
her wendingher way through Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
the crowd,whisperingin ears
June heats up to a rapid boil and so do you. Libras are
and hobnobbinghereand
especially sexy and alluring now and can choose any
there.Catchher if you can,
lovergrrl they want. But be discerning, Libra. Find
if onlyfleetingly,to hearthe
latest chit chat. the right woman. If you are already in a relationship,
move it up to the next level of intimacy. Do I hear
wedding bells?
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is
theauthorofHerscopes: It is possible to effect meaningful change in your life.
But you can't do it by yoursel£ And as luck would have
A GuidetoAstrology
it,
you won't be alone no matter how hard you try. Not
for Lesbians
(Simon&
only do you draw a crowd wherever you go, you also
Schuster)
(tinyurl.com/HerScopes).
Nowavailableasan ebook.
connect on a powerful level with certain admirers.
20
I curve
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
You are much more efficient than usual at work. And
while this is not the most exciting activity for June, it
will become a valuable time saver for you throughout
the summer months. You can even impress a certain
co,worker. Just think of all of those long lunches the
two of you will enjoy in July.
Capricorn(Dec.23-Jan. 20)
Fun is on your "to do" list this June. Find ways of
enlivening your life whether it is creating your
personal masterpiece or tossing a big bash that will
have your social world talking for months. Let your
imagination soar. You could also show how creative
you are with a special person. Why seek a crowd
when you can enjoy an appreciative audience of oner
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Handle any festering family issues this June and see
if you can improve relationships with even your most
difficult relatives. Then make your home the center of
activities for friendly fun and frolic. Anything you plan
or do will deliver luck and romance. Everything, that
is, except putting in new shelving in the basement.
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Not only can you envision the perfect sales pitch for
whatever you are selling,you can also deliver the message
with your certain special savoirfaire. Figure out what
you want and then just ask for it. You will get it-and
more. But don't be shy and procrastinate. Too, too
soon this splashy charm will evaporate.
Aries(March21-April 20)
Your intuition is not on target this June. Fortunately,
you don't really need to use it all that often. Just don't
react to anything unless it is based in reality. A not,
so,secret admirer drops the guessing game and makes
herself well known to you. Is it because you are so
sexy? Is it because you are incredibly generous? Why
ask why? Just enjoy.
Taurus(April21-May 21)
Gal pals are plotting and planning a surprise for you.
Act surprised when it unfolds. In the meantime,
don't wait for others. Get out in front of an adoring
crowd. Before you know it you will be glad handing
some remarkable ladies. Just watch where you put
those wandering hands, Taurus! ■
SCENE
GLAAD To Be Gay The GLAAD Awards are a welcome reminder
of our increasing visibility in mainstream culture.
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The 22nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in Los
Angeles was one of the most star~studded events of the
year. Among the many gay and gay~allied celebrities who
joined in the festivities with the Gay & Lesbian Alliance
Against Defamation (GLAAD) were Dolly Parton, Allison
Janney, Melissa Etheridge, Kirsten Dunst, Amber Heard
and Chaz Bono, who announced GLAAD's 'J\mplify
Your Voice!" public service announcement campaign to
combat the bullying of LGBT youth. Country music icon
Dolly Parton presented the Stephen F. Kolzak Award to
Robert Greenblatt whose career as a television executive
has resulted in gay~friendly shows such as Six Feet Under,
Queer as Folk, The L Word and United States of Tara. Sean
Hayes presented the Vanguard Award to Emmy and Tony
Award~winning entertainer Kristin Chenoweth, who
had publicly challenged a Newsweek article that wrongly
asserted gay actors cannot play straight roles. Other awards
went to TV favorites Glee,Modern Family,ProjectRunway
and the film I Love You Phillip Morris. The evening was
hosted by Amy Poehler and Rashida Jones from Parks
and Recreation.The GLAAD Media Awards honor media
for fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the
LGBT community and the issues affecting their lives. The
Awards also fund GLAAD's ongoing efforts to amplify
the stories of ordinary LG BT folks across the country
and the ongoing fight for full equality. (glaad.org)■
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I 21
The Lezzie Look
Can I love the ladies and fashion?
By Lipstick and Dipstick
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I'm a mess right now because I think I'm a
lesbian and I don't know what to do. Here's the full story: Last year, I
started watching RuPaul's Drag Race. I was oddly turned on by the fact
that all the contestants looked like women, but at the time I thought
nothing of it, because they were actually men. As the year progressed,
I found myself attracted to real women, but ones I didn't know, like on
TV (Hello, Jennifer Lopez!). This revelation has led to me to do poorly in
school and gain some weight because I didn't know who to talk to about
my sexuality. My parents say they love me unconditionally, but they
occasionally say things like "Quit being such a fag" or "You're so gay,"
so I don't know if I can count on their support. My other concern is that
the only lesbian I know has really poor hygiene, dresses like a man and
always smells bad. If I'm a lesbian, will I have to be like that? Because I
love fashion and makeup and stuff. -Konfused in Kansas
Dipstick:[Skimming the Lesbian Handbook]
No, there is nothing in here that says you must
stink or forgo fashion to be a lesbian. Dressing
in men's clothes is optional, but please be dapper
if you do so. Also, remember: Armpit, leg and
pubic hair is optional.
Lipstick:
If those things were true, Kansas, and
I had to be a Fozzie Bear to be a dyke, I'd probably be married to my high school boyfriend
and self medicating with Xanax by now. This
lezzie can't stand-wait
no, abhors-bad
hygiene. It's an absolute deal breaker.
Dipstick:
I agree. A tuft of hair here and there
is one thing, but a stank is another. We must
always shower, Kansas, not just to remove the
bicycle grease from under our fingernails, but
because we'll never get chicks like Jennifer
Lopez if we reek. Contrary to what you've
witnessed, dykes love fashion, too, even if we
get our ideas from GQ instead of Vogue.
Lipstick:Hear, hear! Let those preconceived
notions about being a lesbian swirl down the
drain with the bath water, Kansas, because the
only rule you should abide by after coming out
is: Be yoursel£ If you love fashion, strut down
the catwalk. If you love makeup, start your
own line of eye shadow. Once you meet other
dykes, you'll realize we are all different shapes
and colors-and,
apparently, emit different
odors. Lipstick prefers lavender.
good advice for you: Tell your girlfriend how
you're feeling right away, before you pursue
this. She may rage. She may cry. She may leave
you. But you must take the high road here.
Don't cheat. Be forthcoming and transparent.
For her sake and for all the lesbians who've
been burned by this phallic fire before now.
Consider it an energetic token of redemption.
Even though the heart wants what it wants,
six years is a long time and she deserves to
know why you've been so absent.
Dipstick:This has happened to, like, three
people I know recently. Take Charli, one of
the butchest lesbians I know. Last I saw her,
DearLipstickand Dipstick:I am in my 30s and she was growing her hair out and had some
I haveneverhadsexwitha guybefore.I havea pony-tailed, pleat-panted, Hawaiian-shirted
girlfriend
of sixyearsandI amfantasizing
about dude on her arm. It really makes me think
havingsex with men.I needhelp!-Petra the that sexuality is more fluid than we Kinsey
Six lesbians like to admit. How else can we
PenisPiner
explain straight women coming out in their
Lipstick:Holy latent-oly, yes you do. While I 50s; bisexual teens dating boys, girls, whatdon't have tips on how you can bag your first ever; hard-core dykes dating dudes after years
boner (did I just type that?), I do have some of running a lesbian separatist camp? What
22
I curve
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Lipstick & Dipstick ADVICE
song about! Nah, it couldn't be you-I've
met lots of dykes who roll this way. From
Lipstick's vantage point, most seem to
have abandonment issues. How was your
childhood? I think, besides the baggage you
might be carrying from your formative years,
what you may lack is true intention. When
DearLipstickandDipstick:I justbrokeupwith you dream about the future with each woman,
my girlfriendof almosta year.Beforeher,I had do you really intend it to come true? Or are
anothergirlfriend
forthreeyears.Andbeforeher, you already visualizing the end and then self~
I datedanotherwomanfor two.It alwaysturns sabotaging the rest of your time with each
outthe same:Wetalk aboutthe future,our life partner? While I do believe it's hard to find
together,and I'm into that for a while. But forever true love, I don't think that's what's
eventuallyI getboredandbreakupwiththem, going on here-that
you haven't yet found
leavingthemwith a big questionmark above "the one:' I believe it's deeper than that. Spend
their heads.Nowto my question:
Whydo I do some money on a therapist, and, until you
this to thesepoorwomen,and howdo I stop? tease out the issue here, stop making promises
-Bernadette the Bruiser
in the dark.
you need right now, Petra, is some sympathy,
and I doubt you're going to get that from your
girlfriend. Lipstick is right about one thing:
This is a lot to sort out-your identity, your
relationship, condom sizes-all the ins and
outs, so to speak.
Lipstick:Heartbreaki dreammaka; love taki
So, you're the one Pat Benatar wrote the
Dipstick:
Oh, so you're now a psychotherapist,
Lipstick? Analyzing this girl's childhood?
lliwles
I think the real issue here is not her absent
father, domineering mother or supposed
abandonment. It has nothing to do with
that new~age mumbo jumbo about intention
and visualization, either. Rather, what this
is about is, lesbians tend to go into every
relationship convinced that it's going to last
forever when, really, it usually plays itself out
in three months. Listen, ladies, every good
lay is not your soul mate. The next pretty
girl you meet, instead of visualizing, goal
setting, burning candles and meditating, get
to know her. Don't try to make her into "the
one:' Instead of following the advice of some
overpaid guru or celebrity author, remember
what works best for millions of people in
recovery: Take it one date at a time. ■
Tune in to curvemag.com/lipstickanddipstic
to watchthe The Lipstick& DipstickShow.
Or write to tv@lipstickdipstick.com.
roo~op (88:>
t-JCI JLPdrty
the biggest pride event for women
ADVICE Relationships
Long Distance Lovin' The Setup Squad's love guru Meredith Schlosser explains
how to survive and thrive in a cross-country romance. By Merryn Johns
According to a 2005 study, 3.5 million U.S.
married couples were in long distance rela~
tionships, approximately 4.5 million college
couples were in non~marital long distance
relationships (LDRs), and who knows how
many separated lesbian couples are languishing
across the nation? While absence makes the
heart grow fonder, it can also put love to the
test. Meredith Schlosser, from Logo TV's
new dating reality show The Setup Squad of~
fers her advice-and firsthand experienceon how to make an LOR work. Schlosser,
26, whose day job is vice president of
sales at Prime Real Estate New York
City, is in a long~term, long~distance
relationship with Randi Wishnow, 31,
president of Bailey Blue Clothing.
Whatqualifiesyouto giverelationship
advice?
I didn't grow up saying,
"I want to be a dating
coach;' but work~
ing with people
and giving advice
about love and rela~
tionships has always
been a passion of mine.
When the market crashed I
started working for an exclusive
fitness club as a membership sales
associate and as I was evaluating
members for training programs
we'd always end up talking about
their
personal
relationships.
People felt comfortable with me. I
started keeping mental notes and
slowly but surely I was matching
couples up.
Howdidyoubecomeinvolved
with
TheSetupSquad?
I met Renee [owner of Wings
Inc.] through a friend and started
working with her company on
the side. The production com~
pany, Leftfield Pictures, found
out about her company and
wanted to do a show on it. I
ended up interviewing with
24
I curve
the producers and the rest is history.
Whatwastheauditionprocess
like?
A lot of fun, they didn't put me through any
hard drills. They just wanted to know my
perception on dating and how I would help
people become "better" daters. They wanted
my advice as a lesbian on how to get into and
stay in a successful relationship.
Ofthefourteammembers
in TheSetupSquad,
youseemthe mostenigmatic.Whatqualities
doyoubringto theteam?
Positive energy and the ability to
relate to every situation. I cater
differently to each client. I make
it fun for them and help them
understand themselves better
and not ridicule them for what
they're doing wrong. I reassure
my clients and help them re~
alize that dating really isn't
that bad-they just need
to learn how to love
themselves and the rest
will fall into place.
Howdidyoumeetyour
girlfriend,
Randi?
Absolute fate and I
owe it all to curve
Personals! I was online
looking for women and
Randi-[who
was] in a
relationship-was
look~
ing for women with her
best friend who was single.
I started talking to her
friend but nothing came of
it romantically and we ended
up staying in touch. From the
moment I saw a picture of
Randi I thought, Now that
woman is my type! About a
year passed [and] the friend
told me that Randi broke up
with her girlfriend and she
was coming to New York on
business and that she wanted
to meet me. We met for drinks
and the chemistry was abso~
lutely magnetic.
You'rea nativeNew Yorker;Randiownsher
company
in L.A.Distance
wasanobstacle
from
thebeginning
yetyouwentahead.Why?
When I met Randi, honestly, nothing else
mattered. I was so attracted to her physically
and our chemistry was insane. We were having
fun, going with the flow and having such a
great time together. Obviously, as time went
on and we decided to become exclusive, we've
had more hurdles to overcome.
Onceyoudecidedthiswasa relationship,
how
didyouhandlethedistance?
Communication was the most important
factor. We used Skype all the time and would
talk on the phone as much as possible. We
were very considerate of one another's feelings
and made sure the other felt comfortable at
all times.
Howmuchfacetimedoyouhavepermonth?
We average about two weeks together a
month. Sometimes more depending on the
month and our work schedules. Randi is
in New York for at least 10 days out of the
month and I go to L.A. at least once a month
for a few days. We have never gone more than
three weeks without seeing each other in the
one and a half years we've been together.
Hasit becomeeasierovertime?
It's harder in the sense that I'm so in love
with her and a day without her is too much,
and easier in the way that I know her love
for me is unconditional and we both want
to be together forever. We count down until
the next time we're going to see each other
and always have trips planned together so we
have something to look forward to.
Howoftendoyoucommunicate
in a day?
We leave Skype on all day and all night. We
speak on the phone every morning, during
the day at least once quickly while we're at
work and Skype every single night before
we go to bed. We've pretty much spoken
every day since we met. We even spoke
every day when I was in Korea for my
brother's wedding. We still managed to talk
every day even with the extreme time dif~ ~
ference. We never go to bed without telling ~
each other we love each other. Even if we ~
have a disagreement we make sure to never ~w
ADVICE Relationships
go to bed angry. That's number one on the
list of rules.
Haveyoueverthought,Thisis toohard?There
areotherwomenoutthereandthey'relocal.
If I never thought "this is just too hard" I
wouldn't be human. When I look Randi in
the eyes while she's holding me and making
me laugh until I almost pee in my pants is
when I could tell you: No, it will never be
too hard. Randi has taught me how to love
myself unconditionally and has really shown
me that being in love isn't a fairy tale. I'm not
trying to tell you our relationship is perfect
and a fairy appears to sprinkle love dust on
us. We definitely have our own set of issues
that come up that we work on. We made an
agreement that our love is forever and the
good times outweigh the bad and splitting
up will never be an option.
Areyouworriedthattheglossmightwearoffif
youactuallylivedtogether?
Having obstacles to deal with once we live
together has crossed our minds and we've
talked about it. The anxiety we've had about
any type of gloss wearing off is the same
type of anxiety any couple has before they
move in together, even if they live in the
same city.
Howdoyouhandlea crisiswhenapart?
We physically try to be there as much as
26
I curve
possible. When I had a cyst taken out of my
breast last year Randi flew to New York to
be with me and take care of me. When her
grandmother passed away I booked a flight
to LA. the minute I got the phone call.
Obviously, it's not always that easy but we
bend a lot for each other as much as we're
able to. For situations that have to do with
work or family we talk to each other and we
get the other person through it. We prefer
to Skype for those type of situations so we
can feel like we're really together.
Do you fight and how do you
reconcile?
We definitely have fought and
I'm sure we'll have other fights.
Now we know how to handle
each other-good
communi~
cation and no crap. We have
promised each other that if
something annoys us or makes
us uncomfortable we need to
speak to each other about it first
and deal with it and not run off
and get everyone else's opinion.
Randidoesn'twantto leaveL.A.
andyoudon'twantto leaveN.V.C.
If beinga coupleis important,
whywon'toneof youbudge?
Randi owns a company that is
growing at a tremendous speed and I have an
active career at Wings Inc. and in real estate
that I'm very passionate about. All we want
to do is be together all the time but at this
point in our lives we need to be able to grow
our businesses and create more financial
independence for ourselves before we can
make a permanent move. Right now, we're
making the best of the cards we're dealt. We
won't be living like this forever I can assure
you of that. (logotv.com/shows/setup_squad/
seriesJhtml)■
10 Tips For a Successful Long-Distance Relationship
1 Tellthe personyoulove
them,morning,afternoon
andnight
5 Getto knowthe people
that areimportantto
them,especiallyfamily
2 Skypeas much
as possible
6 Leavelovenotesor
poemsin hiddenplaces
aroundtheir homebefore
youleavesotheyhave
somethingto lookat and
thinkof you
3 Sendflowers,cards,
smallgifts-surprise
them
4 Communicate
effectivelyandlisten.Be
honestanddirectabout
everythingyou'refeeling
7 Alwayshaveanother
trip plannedbefore
youleave
8 Tryto betogetheras
muchas possibleand
makesurethetime you
spendtogetheris quality
time.Havea lot of sex
whileyou'reat it
9 Alwaysbetherefor
thememotionallyeven
if youcan't betherefor
themphysically
10 Talkaboutyour
futuretogether
::,;:
a:
0
uw
0
z
0
(/)
'."3
POLITICS
Not Over the Rainbow
Pride is more important today than ever. By Victoria A. Brownworth
Last June, I was asked in an interview: Isn't
queer Pride over? Aren't we living in a post,
Pride world?
In a word, no. The 21st century is definitely
post,modern in most Western countries, but
just as the election of a biracial president
in America didn't end racism, the fact that
queers have been mainstreamed does not
make Pride irrelevant.
Why is Pride still necessary? The reasons
are myriad: Because homophobia still runs
rampant. Because so many of us are still full of
self,loathing to the point of being depressed
and substance abusing and even suicidal.
Because LGBT teens are being bullied in
schools all over the country. Because the U.S.
Supreme Court stood up for Rev. Fred Phelps
and his Westboro Church fanatics and their
virulently anti,queer slurs in an 8, 1 deci,
sion in March. Because a group of lesbians
were set upon and assaulted for kissing in
public on Valentine's Day in both Peru and
Beijing. Because Human Rights Watch has
made Iran one of their top nations to watch
due to use of the death penalty against openly
lesbian and gay people. Because Don't Ask,
Don't Tell is still in effect and still prevents
American lesbians and gay men from serving
in the military openly. (Even though Congress
voted to rescind DADT in January, the law
does not actually get rescinded until 60 days
after the President and Joint Chiefs of Staff
agree that the troops can adjust, especially
in wartime).
We need Pride because the Defense of
Marriage Act is still in effect and marriage
equality still out of reach. We need Pride
because lesbians are being sexually harassed
at some of the nation's most prestigious
~ colleges, like Yale. We need Pride because
I
even the President himself has revealed his
~o bigotry in the marriage equality fight, noting
~ that he doesn't"believe" in same,sex marriageffi he has since said his beliefs on the subject are
~ "evolving:
~
Any one of these issues alone makes Pride
~ essential. We are still fighting for our lives, no
matter where we live, how old we are, what
race, gender or class we are.
Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" is a veritable
anthem to Pride, but how many teens-or
adults, for that matter-listening
to its
raucous lyrics actually feel them, believe that
we are indeed "born this way"? How many of
us actually believe that being who we are is
really OK, especially when so many laws say
otherwise and so many political and religious
leaders declare we are an abomination?
The fact is, Rev. Fred Phelps and his big,
oted little church speak what many other's
silently think: The placards that read "God
Hates Fags" reflect an internalized belief
many queers themselves believe. It's certainly
a sentiment many non,queers believe. And
those beliefs inform the national and inter,
national discourse, whether we want them to
or not.
How much of a difference is there between
President Obama saying he doesn't believe in
same,sex marriage and President Ahmadinejad
of Iran saying there are no queers in that
country? Aren't both men saying that queers
don't really have a right to exist as we are? Or at
least not equally with them?
How many parents in America and else,
where have turned their backs on their queer
children? Mine did. My wife's did. I was
expelled from my high school for being a
lesbian. I was denied my first apartment
because I was a lesbian. I was fired from
several jobs when I was outed as a lesbian.
Like so many other minorities, I was forced
into activism because I was denied equal rights.
Like the lyrics in Gaga's song, I believe I was
born this way. Like her, I don't believe God
makes mistakes. So my Pride comes from
that-knowing
that this is who I am, just as
it's who you are. And it's OK. In fact, it's good.
I'm seriously proud of who I am. Proud of
fighting for equal rights for my people and all
people. Proud of fighting for women's lives,
queer lives, the lives of the poor and suffering.
The question isn't if we still need Pride. We
do. The real question is whether we believe
in Pride.
Have we embraced and internalized
Pride? Are we able to believe Gaga's lyrics,
or our own banners and buttons? Or are we
still unsure of whether we deserve the same
rights as everyone else, the same protections
as everyone else, the same life as everyone
else? Until we can answer that question with
certainty, Pride is something we definitely
need, but not necessarily something we have
learned to accept. ■
June 2011
I 27
LAUGH
TRACK
Pride, Her Way
Comedy legend Kate Clinton shares her perspective. By Merryn Johns.
Kate Clinton has seen it all. With a career
spanning three decades she's been making
us laugh through eight presidential inaugu~
rations-and
the embattled advancements
of the LGBT community. For her always~
inspiring comedy and advocacy work she's been
awarded by the National Gay and Lesbian
Task Force, Lambda Legal Defense and
Education Fund, SAGE, as well as receiving
a GLAAD Media Pioneer Award. So who
better to wax humorously about the meaning
of Pride than the ever~popular, highly articu~
late Gay Pride grand marsh all herself?
Whatwasyourfirst Prideeventanddidyoua)
chant,"We'rehere,we'requeer
..." b) gotopless
withDykeson Bikes,or c) hopenoonespotted
youat themarch?
My favorite was the first N.Y.C. Dyke March
chant: "We're dykes. Don't touch us. We'll
hurt you:' Although at first I found it off~
putting, it became useful in big box stores
when I couldn't get service. I'd chant it a few
times and there would be an announcement,
"Customer care representative to Aisle 5. Now:'
Doyouwearrainbowcolors?
No. I had a bumper sticker that said, "Swallow
a prism. Shit a rainbow:'
Whatdoyoureallythinkoftherainbowflag?
except during TV dicker fights. I do the bar~
I like its cheery LGBT nationalism, especially becuing, I should get the dicker-of almost 23
if it says "Peace'' on it.
years. We're the marriage of comedy and trag~
If youwerea babydyketoday,whatwouldyou edy.And I'm not telling which is which.Turns
out we're the stable couple in our families.
looklikeandhowwouldyouidentify?
Euro~butch and it would be all about the Butyou'vesaidyoudon'twantto marryher.Are
suits, vests, ties, fedoras and a pretty lady on the restof us blowingthe marriagedebateout
of proportion?
my arm.
In 1997 you were featuredin the film Pride Heck, no. It has activated LGBT people and
Divide.Has the gap betweengay men and our allies. We support and have worked for
lesbiansnarrowedwhenit comesto beingout, the freedom to marry. And not to marry. It's
not a choice we want to make. And we could
fabulous
orachieving
equalrights?
My LGBT generation swings between sepa~ elope tomorrow.
ratism and collaboration. I'm cheered by the Whydo lesbiansget stuckon issuesof repreMostof usderidedTheL Wordwhen
younger LGBT generation, which seems sentation?
it firstairedandit'snowlesbianlore.
almost effortlessly co~gendered.
YouandUrvashi
Vaidhavespent22yearstogether. The gals bitched about The Kids Are All Right,
Youmustfeelprideaboutthat.
too. I'm happy we have things to fuss about. It
We're proud of and grateful for our loveused to be, "Lily Tomlin wore purple, discuss:'
2s
I curve
And we would for five years, until something
vaguely lesbian happened in the media again. I
hope the next big trend is Urban Lesbian Swat
Teams that terrorize legislators who prey on
poor women and children. I've designed the
uniforms if you'd like to see.
If youhadtocreatea PSAto promote
the"lesbian
lifestyle,"
whatistheonethingyou'dsharewith
thewholeworld?
The sex is divine. Try it. You'll like it.
ChristopherHitchensfamouslyargued that
womenaren'tfunny.Yourresponse?
As my mother would advise, "Do not even
dignify that statement with a response:' Jerk.
Howareyoucelebrating
Pridethisyear?
I'm the Gland Marshall in the 30th Noho, ffi
('.)
Mass. Pride Parade. It's an amends for joking 00
a:
for 30 years that Northampton should be 0
~
0
called "Critical Mass:' (kateclinton.com)
■
Lezzie
L.A.:
Whitney
(clockwise
from left),
Francine,
Romi,
Sajdah,
Claire,
Kacy
and
Cori
Meet the hot,
more diverse and
oh-so-scandalous
new cast of
The Real L Word.
By Rachel Shatto
30
I curve
ast year saw the premiere of The Real L Word, the docu-series helmed by The L
Word creator Ilene Chaiken. Following the lives of six out and proud lesbian Angelinos, it promised to be
a game changer: Real stories about real lesbians living their real lesbian lives-on
premium, no-holds-
barred cable, no less. It was a winning combination; after all, who knows drama better than dykes? But
despite its compelling concept and all the potential in the world, the show met with a divided audience.
Many loved the series for boldly focusing 100 percent on the lives of lesbians, while others struggled to
connect with the disparate story lines and were (vocally) disappointed by what they perceived to be a lack
of diversity. In the end, what could have been a groundbreaking, paradigm-shifting lesbian extravaganza
turned out to be yet another somewhat-entertaining reality show.
Fortunately, Showtime execs realized what we knew all
along: They had a series with enormous potential on their
hands-it just needed a little shaking up. Their answer was
to break away from individualized story lines and focus on
a cast of women whose lives intersect. For the sophomore
season, friends, ex-girlfriends and friends-of-friends come
together to form the cast. "By the end of season one, all of
their stories had overlapped and ... we sort of realized that
was a really rich area when we saw them interacting. This
season ... the stories are much more interwoven. I think it's
going to be a more dynamic season for that;' says executive
producer and Magical Elves cofounder Jane Lipsitz.
Lipsitz also explains that the first go-round was an educational experience, and the lessons learned have created a
new agenda for the series that will change the direction. "I
think what we learned from season one is that we did want
to tell a more emotionally raw story this season and that
also we wanted to do a series that really did feel authentically Showtime;' she says. "That's not just about having
more sex throughout the season-and
there is more sex
throughout the season-but
also in terms of more documentary storytelling style and pushing the boundaries of
what they're talking about in interviews and in scene. I'm
really proud of this season. I really feel like we took it to a
whole new level:'
But the most striking difference for returning viewers is
the cast. Of the six original women, only Whitney Mixter,
the wave-making and often scandalous heartbreaker who
brought the drama, sexiness and (most of all) realness that
audiences crave, is returning for season two. Lipsitz explains,
"Whitney was what we call a 'story machine: She just
drove the entire season. She's incredibly well-spoken and
she definitely represented the direction we wanted to go in
this season because she was someone who was emotionally
honest and made herself vulnerable. I'm sure the rest of the
cast wasn't surprised because she definitely emerged as a
big star last season. We're thankful for [the season one] cast
and they did an amazingjob and I enjoyed working with all
of them. But I just think there was a change in the direction
of the show that it just made sense that Whitney was the
only person that was going to come back:'
Queer women of color are also a prominent part of the
mix this season. "There was some backlash about that last
season and I think, as producers, you want to give viewers
that they would like to see. I think we listened to that and
we addressed it. No matter what, we're not going to cast
stereotypes. The diversity was something that was a priority
but it's a diversity that comes with amazing women who
have amazing stories to tell;' says Lipsitz.
With a sexy, new, openly queer cast, and a new, more
traditional reality TV format, season two is shaping up
to be more of what audiences have been craving: Sexy,
emotionally-satisfying lesbian drama. So, fire up those
DVRs, ladies.
THE VETERAN VIXEN
For lady-juggling special effects artist, Whitney Mixter, the
change in cast was bittersweet. "Season one I made a new
family. I'm still incredibly close with those girls, I love them
to death, I think they had a lot to bring to the show;' she
says. "I think in season two you're going to see it's a little
more fast-paced and I think that there's a lot of dynamic,
really important stories that are being told:' She promises
it's not the last you'll see of her Real L Word alumni. "You'll
see some of the past characters pop up now and again
because they are my friends:'
Last season, Mixter's arc primarily followed her lesbian
lothario ways. We watched her seduce, smooth talk and
creamed-corn wrestle her way through three simultaneous
relationships, earning her comparisons to The L Word's
Shane-a reputation Mixter is well aware 0£ "I think last
season I was definitely portrayed as the heartbreaker ... I
was single and I was trying to find out what I was ready
for. I think that this season you'll see more growth [but] I
definitely revert back to old ways sometimes:'
However, Mixter promises that this time we're going
to see another side, too, specifically her business savvy.
She recently broadened her career horizons with two new
June 2011
I 31
endeavors: A monthly girls' night, which has been hugely
successful, and she has also embarked on an eco-friendly
clothing line, Natural Artifacts.
But that's not to say it's all work and no play for Mixter,
who promises she isn't totally reformed."You'll definitely see
a lot of my love life but I do learn a lot more about who I am
as a person, outside of my love life;' she says, teasing. "But
have no fear, there's definitely a lot oflove life goin' on:'
But how much will the audience be privy to? Last season,
in one of the series' most talked about moments, Mixter
chose to open up her bedroom to the cameras. ''I've been
asked several times if I regret being so graphically sexual on
camera in season one, and my response is this: Would you
be asking me if I regretted it if I was a man? Because I'm
going to go ahead and bet that you wouldn't;' says Mixter,
adding, "I think it's a very important issue. It's Showtime, it
allows us the ability to show all aspects of our lives and that
is very much a part of my life: My sex life.
"I am a woman, I am a lesbian and if sex happens and if
I am with a partner who is as comfortable as I am with my
body and with being sexual, then I'm wanting to open up
that door to the public because I don't find it gratuitous, I
find it realistic and I think it's an important story to tell:'
THE REAL ROMI
Along with Mixter, one of the breakout stars of the first
season was Romi Klinger. A then-supporting character,
Klinger guaranteed her notoriety as the woman Mixter got
hot and heavy with on camera. For Klinger this actually
made getting in front of the camera a second time easier.
"I let my guard down with season one and I dearly had
sex on television, and I've been through a lot with the
cameras. I think that when I went into season two it wasfor me probably more than anyone else-very easy to go
there again because it wasn't the end of the world doing
that;' Klinger says. "I didn't end my life because I had sex
on camera or I cried on camera. People love me, they hate,
whatever it is, it is who I am. I do have sex, I am a lesbian I
do have emotions, I cry, I make mistakes and I'm not afraid
to show everybody that:'
Having caught audiences' attentions (and libidos), it's of
little surprise that this time around she's been added as a
full-time cast member. It's an opportunity Klinger relishes
if only to share another side of herself with audiences. "I
didn't have the opportunity to really be 100 percent me. I
was one of Whitney's girlfriends;' she says."So, when they
offered me the opportunity to do this, of course I was
excited and jumped onto it because there's a lot more to
who I am ... I'm a friend, I'm a daughter, I'm a lesbian, I'm
all these things:'
Last season left off with Klinger and one of Mixter's other
love interests, Sara, turning the tables on the heartbreaker
by hooking up in Palm Springs. But according to Klinger,
little came of their Dinah Shore weekend romance. 'i\.fter
32
I curve
season one, [Sara and I] became almost like sisters, we were
very, very dose. We did not have a sexual relationship-we
have we hooked up and was there maybe sex involved at
one point? Yes. But did me and Sara date? No;' she says.
This season, Klinger is making some significant changes,
saying goodbye to her party girl ways. "Through the show I
pretty much decided to do a really big change in my life and
kind of sober up and change the direction that my life had
been going in;' Klinger says. She's also in a new relationship
with her live-in girlfriend, Kelsey. However, she revealed
that her decision to make significant changes in her lifestyle
is putting strain on that relationship. "She's a young girl
who loves me very much and I think, honestly, at the time
when we got together I was in a place that wasn't the best
for a long relationship and what was not supposed to be a
serious relationship turned into one;' she says.
LESBIAN LOVE TRIANGLE
New York entrepreneur Claire Moseley admits that her
decision to move to L.A. was equal parts professional
and personal, pursuing closure with fellow cast member
Francine Beppu. "I moved out there for my career and I
moved out there for the fact that I'd been in New York
for eight years and it was just something that I'd always
wanted to do and I felt the time was now," she says.
"To say Francine wasn't a factor would be a lie, but she
definitely wasn't the only factor:'
The former associate producer at Calvin Klein is now
lending her fashion savvy to her new enterprise, AninitiaL
com, an online lesbian lifestyle and fashion magazine. In
addition to the complications of getting a publication off
the ground while trying to sort through the baggage with
an ex is Vivian, the girlfriend Moseley left in N.Y.C.-and
with whom she hasn't quite broken it off yet.
While it might be easy to judge Moseley for a"having her
cake and eating it, too" approach, anyone who has ever let
"the one'' slip away is sure to empathize. "There's so much
love in that relationship [with Francine]. Some people will
relate to it and see themselves in it and I think other people
might think that I was a bit selfish in trying to figure out
things with an ex while still kind of having a current girlfriend:' Moseley says. "I think it can go two ways ... I know
for me it was a very difficult decision to move out to L.A.
but in the end I'm happy I did:'
Still, it's never too early to pick out your"Team Francine"
or"Team Vivian'' tee.
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
Newcomer Francine Beppu's story this season is one of
transformation. "I feel a lot more comfortable in my own
skin;' she says. "I wasn't really out to everyone, especially
work wise:'
A business executive with NamiWave, Beppu moved
from New York to Los Angeles three years ago-leaving
behind her first love, Moseley-to begin her business (a
Red Box competitor popular in Hawaii and gaining ground
in L.A.) However, when the season begins, her love life
becomes increasingly complicated when Moseley moves to
L.A. to rekindle the romance. "It was very intense, we loved
each other a lot;' Beppu says of the relationship she moved
to L.A. to escape. "But it was so much drama and we were
very young back then. When I heard she was moving out
here it gave me a lot of anxiety. I didn't know what to expect
at all. It's really interesting to see what happens over the
course of the season:'
In addition to dealing with ex drama, Beppu is grappling
with the decision to finally come out to her family. 'Tm
Japanese, my mother is from Japan and my father is third
generation from Hawaii ... ! think being raised with Asian
parents you're always being told what to do, you always
want to please other people and I was always so concerned
about how others perceive me or how my actions reflect
upon my family;' Beppu says. "But at the end of the day
I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin and I'm so
thankful to have this experience. If I can help one person, if
someone can relate to my story I think it's a great thing:'
BABY MAMA DRAMA
When the second season of The Real L Word was green lit,
there were a couple specific stories its producers wanted to
tell this time around. At the top of that list was following
the journey of a couple trying to start a family.
When Kacy and Cori Boccumini heard that The Real
L Word was casting, they knew they were the couple
Showtime was looking for. ''I'd gotten a Facebook message
from a dear friend ... He said, 'I found out that The Real
L Word is looking to cast a couple who's looking to start
the baby making process;" says Kacy. "So, I quickly sent an
email and said, This is us, this is how we met, and here's
some pictures. And that night I showed Cori the pictures
I sent and she did not like them, composed her own email
and sent her own pictures and they called us the next day;'
laughs Kacy.
"It's crazy. It was perfect timing;' adds Cori. "We kept
saying, OK, we're going to start trying in December and
we'd get a little scared and we'd push it off for a couple of
months and we jut kept pushing it back. I'm thankful for
the show because it kind of forced us to stop being pussies
and really get it together and start, because it's scary.
June 2011
I33
Straight people are lucky: They [can] just get drunk one
night and, barn, 'Oh, OK, moving on, we're going to have a
baby: With us there's too much planning, so it's very easy to
say let's wait another month or two:•
'J\nd it's not as cheap as bottle of wine;' jokes Kacy.
The couple has been together for five years and legally
married for two. Kacy and Cori are one of the 18,000 couples
that married in California during the brief window of time it
was legal in the state, prior to the passage of Prop. 8.
Now, like so many married couples, the Boccumini's are
eager to start their family and share their story. "It's really
important for us to show the world, 'Look at us, we're girls
and we are so madly in love and we want this child and this
family and we're just like everybody else;" says Cori.
"It's good to show other lesbians like, Hey, look this is
not easy. This is some hard shit;' adds Kacy.
Kacy is also excited about representing for the butches.
"One of the things I have a hard time with is there's never
a butch-I understand butch in Los Angeles is hair in a
ponytail, but there are butch girls;' she says. "You can tell
from a distance that I'm a lesbian, and not that that's my
entire identity, but it's important to me, that's just how I
choose to represent myself in larger society. I joke with my
friends that I'm going to be the butchest person to ever be
on television:'
NEW QUEER ON THE BLOCK
Newly out (and newly butch) Sajdah Golde eschewed her
straight privilege the day she met a woman who changed
her life. "I just met a girl, I met a hot girl, I don't know, she
redefined my happily ever after;' says Golde.
For Golde, discovering she was gay changed her life over~
34
I curve
night."Once I realized that I was a lesbian-because I didn't
know-I had to be true to myself and that was my first
priority to make sure that I was true to me;' she says."So, as
soon as I recognized it in me, I came out the next day:'
It was just the start of some major changes in Golde's
life, which included the East Coast gal moving to L.A.
Interestingly, one of her baby steps out of the closet was
watching the first season of The Real L Word. "The summer
before moving to L.A. one of my friends suggested it, just
so I'd know what bars to go to;' she recalls. "When I was
watching the first season I didn't know what it meant to
be a lesbian so I gained a lot of insight on how to be with
a woman-that
was new territory. But now that I'm very
well in the life, the story is quite different. Life is different
for a relationship between two African American females,
as opposed to someone of a different nationality, because
we have cultural differences:•
The self~professed "rebel with a cause" is also deeply
involved with LGBT politics. An organizer working
with Vote for Equality, the legal arm of the L.A. Gay and
Lesbian Center, Golde goes out and speaks with voters
who were not supportive of same~sex marriage. "LGBT
politics is probably the most important thing going on in
my life right now;• says Golde."It's like the modern day civil
rights movement. And as a direct beneficiary of two very
powerful movements, seeing that I am African American
and female, I feel like it's my job to give back at this time.
But it's cool, I'm from the East Coast, I'm new to L.A., so
I'm finding my way around. I'm also a new lesbian, so I'm
learning how to walk again, you know?
"The thing for me is, I still remember straight privilege.
I still remember what it felt like to be a straight woman
so I want the audience to know that 17 months later I'm
still the same person, and because I'm that same person,
every right or consideration I had before I switched teams I
should still have today;' says Golde.
BIGGER, BOLDER AND BUTCHIER
With a diverse, dynamic and intriguing new cast, plus a
format that lends itself better to drawing in new viewers,
the second season of The Real L Word is poised to finally
live up to the series' potential-to
fill the vacuum left by
The L Word and tell real, multifaceted stories about out,
proud, captivating queer women.
Lipsitz gives us an idea of what to expect: "It's a fantastic
ride. I think there's a lot of humor, there's a lot of heart, it's
super~sexy and there's a lot of drama:•
But perhaps Golde says it best: "They should expect a
good time. It's everything they had last year and more. A lot
of fun, a lot of love and I think this season is a tad bit more
thought provoking than last season. Last year was real, but
this time we're reallygetting real. Let's get into the real heart
of things, things that really matter-not that sex and rock
'n' roll aren't important!" ■
-
GLB
=t=T
GBT Pride month is here, which means parades,
panels, parties-and
politics. For me, Pride in San
Francisco is more than just fun. I was an organizer of
the Trans March for two years, and have performed
spoken word poetry at the pre-march event. Last
year was my first time marching with Dykes on
Bikes. It felt like a women's movement event, not
just a queer rights event, which is why so many
straight women like me feel empowered by attending.
I was born with chromosomal and anatomical diversity.
It's a misconception to compare people like me to the gay
male drag queens who host Pride events-my birth challenge and medical condition are not gender expression.
When I go to T -specific events, I see more genderqueer
and transgender people than I do people born intersex or
transsexual but I am still an ally. We have similar issues,
namely that the government withholds our civil rights.
At many Pride events this year, even in major cities, a
separate stage will be designated for the TS/TG (transsexual or transgender) performers-it
will be smaller and
in a less prominent location. Production and talent will be
considerably less well funded. Joe Ippolito, a leader in the
Philadelphia trans communities, tells curve that he doesn't
have much hope for where the T stands when it comes
to LGBT Pride. "Last year, at the Pride parade, the outof-touch owner of the Philadelphia Gay News stood up in
front of hundreds of people and asked how many 'gay and
lesbian" people were in the crowd, but failed to mention
the B or the T. I stood there, annoyed and shocked. To be
honest, carving out a place for the Tin LGB space continues
to be a struggle, and Pride month is no different:'
I agree with Ippolito that using "gay" to describe an
LGBT coalition misrepresents the medical condition
called transsexualism, and gay-washes transgenderism
36
I curve
Are we serious about the Tin LGBT,
or does T stand for "token"?
By Ashley Love
altogether. Tracie Jada O'Brien, a transsexual woman
from San Diego, also finds it hard to carve out a trans
space in her city. "Thank god we have Transgender Day
of Empowerment in San Diego and TransPride in Los
Angeles-the
rest is just naked hot gay guys and overthe-top drag queens, dykes on bikes and a sprinkle of
lesbians:'
But it's different in some cities, especially San Francisco.
"SF Pride is very supportive of trans communities;' says
Luis Gutierrez-Mock, an organizer of the SF Trans
March. "They've contributed to the Trans March since its
inception, waiving fees for items they provide us and
always making room for our activities in the Civic Center.
Last year, their executive director was a trans person of
color. Last year, they also placed trans people in the first
contingent after the official Pride floats:'
I've posted a link on Facebook asking what the T in
LGBT Pride means to people. Many women with firsthand knowledge of transsexualism responded, saying that
their medical condition was not something to really"party"
about. They were fed up with the LGBT community and
mainstream society for equating drag queens, transvestites and genderqueers with people who have their birth
challenge. Sharon Gaughan, the editor and cofounder of
TS-Si.org, wrote:"The Tin LGBT is irrelevant to me on
a daily basis. Speaking as someone who is formerly transsexual, the all-encompassing Transgender umbrella was a
hindrance during my transition and a continuing obstruction ... in the path toward securing full medical recognition
for the transsexual birth condition. The Transgender Tis
perceived as a part-time lifestyle choice. I am full-time,
medically corrected and immersed in my daily life. I do
not live in a transgender ghetto. Ifl choose to involve myself
in lesbian organizational activities, it is because I have an
affinity for same, not because there is any connection to sexual people, transgender people and people of color in
my medical history:'
those riots is a fraud.
Pride occurs in June to honor the Stonewall Riots of
Alyson Meiselman, a transsexual woman and attorney,
1969, which catapulted the modern LGBT movement tells curve, "I think that it is time the parades cease, and
any fanfare, costumes or extreme
into existence. It was transsexual and transgender women in their place-without
of color who initiated those riots: Sylvia Rivera, a trans~ behavior-we simply walk silently around the government
gender woman of color, is credited with "throwing the first buildings that house the president, the governors, legisla~
tors, state high courts and the Supreme Court with a single
heel:' They were "guilty" of wearing "gender inappropriate"
clothing, which is the excuse the police used to exercise message that reads"IfNot Now, When? If Not Now, Why
Not? We Want Our Civil & Human Rights!"
their prejudice with violence. The police were surprised
Celebrating and partying is great, but Meiselman's
when the people at this bar decided to fight back!
At first, Rivera became known as The Mother of sentiments also ring true. If we want our civil rights, we
Stonewall and in the initial Pride parades after the riots need to rise up and take them. Sylvia Rivera would feel
was honored as an icon, and continued to advocate for the same way. ■
LGBT equality, and for those who were disenfranchised
and homeless. But over time, Rivera was brushed aside
by gay and lesbian elitists who deemed TS/TG issues
too radical for their classist and assimilationist agenda.
After the gay establishment had finished using her to
gain publicity, to raise money, it abandoned her, and
she died impoverished. The lesbian separatist, "radical
feminist" community excluded Rivera from women's
Reporting
on the
.
conferences, and she was even physically escorted out
theT "commu . :~Penences
of the "T" in theLGBT
.
of them on numerous occasions. She was banned from
sex-and/orge;ie,-:;;;:;~~:~~mmunity
butan ::~::~~~:::~~;~~.~•~use
the New York Gay Center for publicly and aggres~
groups,not onecommuni
emgsaremarginalizedIt's
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sively asking those in charge to take better care of TS/
ty. Toput so manyseparategrou • . a coalitionof diverse
SuzanCookof theW
TG people and homeless people. Though she was
is intellectuallydisho~'::i°BornTranssexual
site coinedit .~~~\a boxlabeledT,or,as
ejected from the same movement she had helped to
andmedicalneeds.It co andlazy.It robspeopleof theirindivi ransge~der
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found, her spirit remained bold and true, and shortly
stripawaythe rights f nfus~sthepublicandhasallowedth du~/_social,
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before she died she said, 'Tm tired of sitting on the
whoseheterosexual~A~encansborntranssexual
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back of the bumper. It's not even the back of the bus
attackwith the bill SB;~age to herlatefallenfirefighterhus: s~c~as NikkiAraguz
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wheels is back:'
li'anssexualismA
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Before there was Harvey Milk, there was Sylvia
lntersex-p
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place in history. If Sylvia Rivera were alive today,
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theirbirthsexbu:~Pe whoidentifywith
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Peopleborntranssexual
and!o . t
the cries of LGBT people of color who are pro~
aremisrepresentedh
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Drag
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testing that their voices and needs are ignored
conusedwith fetishistsdr;agk.
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s, genderdeconstructio.
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sexualorientationWh
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Stonewall, and to try to be more understanding,
actualgenderwh· h Yoppositeto their
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s,somememb
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Today, the documentary Stonewall Uprising
li'ansvestites:
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thatha d .
has only white people on its promotional
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n er at all.
uatema
an
A New York-based entrepreneur unveils her
unique Central American wedding .
•
___
air
While same~sex sexual activity has been legal
in Guatemala since 1871, this Central American republic
is yet to legally recognize same~sex marriage.
But this didn't stop Mariel Acevedo, 42,
andJincey Lumpkin, Esq., 31
from holding a lavish ceremony, and the
first gay wedding, in Acevedo's homeland.
38
I curve
he couple began dating back in 2008
after meeting online. "We had our first
date at Soho House in N.Y.C. the day
after Valentine's Day;' recalls Lumpkin.
The boutique hotel and private club also
became the place where she proposed a year
and half later. "I decided to surprise Mariel and throw her
a birthday party. I pretended we were having a quiet dinner
alone, but some of her best friends were waiting for us at
the club. Burning a hole in my pocket was the diamond ring
I bought at Tiffany. On the way to dinner my hands were
shaking and my heart was beating so fast. I was sure she
suspected something, but she had no idea:'
While Lumpkin and Acevedo had a civil wedding on
August 30, 2010 in Greenwich, Conn., their big wedding in
40
I curve
front of family and friends would be in Antigua, Guatemala
in February this year. "It was a huge deal for Mariel to go
back home and be so public. I'm really proud of her for
coming out in such a big way;' says Lumpkin.
The wedding took place in a private, walled Spanish
colonial garden with distant views of volcanoes. From
inside the garden with its lime and avocado trees, fountain
and large pavilion, the toll of 50 nearby church bells could be
heard. It was a romantic setting for an unusual ceremony.
Because they had already said vows in Connecticut, they
asked a friend to do an Inca ceremony called a despacho, or
offering to Pachamama (Mother Earth). "The shaman gave
different elements to our friends and family, and then she
put them into a big paper which she folded, blessed and
burned, so that the ashes float up to Mother Earth;' explains
Cf)
<(
~
0
I
II
u
~
Neo-colonial romance
(clockwise from left):
the candlelit venue, the
happy couple dance,
guests at the reception
and the ceremony
~
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had never been a gay wedding in
"It
was
ahuge
deal
for there
Guatemala before;' says Lumpkin.
Mariel
togoback
toher "We just wanted everyone to drink a
ton of Ron Zacapa, the best rum in the
home
place
and
beso world,
made in Guatemala. We wanted
them
to
and then dance a lot;' says
public.
I'm
really
proud
of Acevedo.drink
And they did. The entertain~
her
forcoming
out
in ment consisted of a band, circus perfor~
Guatemalan folklore displays,
such
abigway," mances,
mariachi bands and fireworks.
Acevedo. The non~traditional (at least in
Western terms) theme extended to what
the brides wore: Acevedo chose a look
she describes as Napoleon crossed with
Burberry, complete with velvet slippers;
Lumpkin wore an ivory dress adorned
with hand beading and a cathedral train.
"I also wore a veil which had always been
a dream of mine since I was a little girl;'
she reveals.
Theatricality was key, with the wed~
ding going by the description of The Love Explosion
Extravaganza. And it was epic: 225 dose friends attended.
"Mariel kept adding to the list, because so many people
in Guatemala were excited and wanted to come, since
The couple is now looking forward
to a long honeymoon in Greece and beyond that, to "live
a happy, healthy life together and spend as much time
as possible with our two beautiful chihuahuas, Marilyn
Monroe and The Mama;' says Acevedo. ■
June 2011
I 41
what does pride
mean to you?
We asked you, and here's what you said. By Jillian Eugenios
In a time where lesbian visibility is growing, Pride is the perfect time to put aside the dyke drama,
pick up a rainbow boa and march with your crew, be it a rally or just a stroll around the neighborhood-with hands entwined. Bonus points if you do it while singing "Closer to Fine" or something by
Peaches at the top of your lungs. And after all the glitter settles (and the hangover fades) it's also a
great time for reflection. Did Pride resonate with you? Do we still need Pride? Or, with more lesbians
on TV, the news, and in office, are we "over it"? Since only you can really answer that, we hit the
streets and the web to find out what you think. What we learned is that it still takes courage to have
Pride, and that the definition of the word is more varied than the colors in a rainbow flag. What's
certain is that Pride is linked to confidence, love, self worth and fun. So this year, whatever you do,
make sure to get your gay on. It's your right. Happy Pride!
"Believing
inyourself."
-Tony Neill,34,Burlington,
Iowa
"Celebration!"-Melissa
Jimenez,
30,Monterey,
Calif.
"Beinga dailyambassador
oftheLGBT
community
within
thelargercommunity
oftheEarthbystriving
to live
impeccably
andbytreatingotherswithcompassion."
-Jennifer Walford
Vann,33, Gainesville,
Fla.
"Pride:
Collective
nounfora groupof
lesbians,
i.e.,asfora flockofgeese,it is
-Kate Buckland,
30,
a prideoflesbians."
Wamberal,
NewSouthWales,
Australia
"Knowing
thatyouarea beautiful,
loving
person
whoisfullyhumananddeserving
ofequalrights,
andlikeanyotherAmerican,
youdeserve
tobelovedand
celebrated."
-Morgan Cecelia
Bowen,
46, ShellBeach,Calif.
"Walking
downthestreet,holding
handswithmytwofavorite
girlsandnotfeelinglikeI'manydifferent
thanthemanwalking
downthestreetholding
handswithhiswifeanddaughter."
-Jennifer Sieber,
32,SanDiego,Calif.
•
•
•
:
•
•
•
:
••
•
:
••
•
:
••
•
:
:
"Beingableto
holdthehandof
theoneyoulove,
lookintohereyes
andtell heryou
loveherforthe
worldto hear,
knowandfeel."
-Lucy Leone
Cabrera,
44,New
Rochelle,
N.Y.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Tofeelequalandproudof yourself
as
a person,
andto showotherswhoare
scaredthatit'sOKto bewhoyouare.
You'reneveralone."-Stephanie Sarti,
23, Reading,
Penn.
June 2011
I 43
. "Everything!"
: -Eva Svedsen,
39,
•
: Copenhagen,
Denmark
••
•
••
••
•
••
••
••
••
•
••
••
•
••
•
•
••
•
:
••
•
•
••
•
44
"Beingproudof beinga lesbiananda mommy.Being
strongenoughto teachmy 17-year-olddaughterabout
acceptanceof others,no matterwhattheir beliefs,and
that acceptance
of othersis whatmakesyoubeautiful.
Weareall the sameno matterwhomwe love."
-Tina Trotter,
37,Manteca,Calif.
"Loving,
accepting
andcherishing
myself." :
•
-Lindsey Shingler,
27,KansasCity,Mo. •
"Pridebringsourcommunitytogetherto celebratewhat
is uniqueandexciting.It's a chanceto seeoldfriends,
meetnewpeoplefromall overthe worldandexperience
somethingamazing.It's the onetimeof the yearwhere
yougetto bewith othersjust likeyourselfandfeelfreeto
bewhatyouare."-Leanne Cornell,34,Ontario,Canada
"Beingme."-Victoria Gray,40,Auckland,NewZealand
"Prideis beingableto finallysay,'Youaredifferent
butthat'sa goodthing.'Prideis beingableto show
affection
to mygirljustlikethecoupleinfrontof us."
-Rebecca Lewis,32,Duncansville,
Penn.
I curve
•
"Pridemeansstanding
upforyour
rightto beauthentic
evenwhen
it's uncomfortable.
Thinkofyour
lesbianism
as something-like
mydarkskin-that youcan'thide
fromotherswhenit's inconvenient,
evendangerous
to beLGBT.
Pride
andcourage
areinextricably
intertwined."-Cole Thomas,
50,Hampton,
Va.
WITHBEING
FEDON!
POOCH
PROTEST
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EBK9advantlx®II
@
K9ADVANTIX
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Kl 1422
In South Africa, in the shadow of brutal murders,
lesbians show their Pride. By Lauren Barkume
A public demonstration of Pride is perhaps most important in places where being LGBT is
the ultimate transgression, and is punishable by death. Which is what makes these images of
the seventh annual Soweto Pride March, South Africa on September 25, 2010 so remarkable.
The march was held in the location of the brutal murders of two lesbians four years ago,
and the ultimate goal of Soweto Pride has become to ensure that lesbians in the township
no longer fall victim to such vicious homophobic attacks. Soweto Pride was initiated in
2004 by The Forum for the Empowerment of Women (FEW) as a political act to celebrate
and give visibility to all identities. Held annually, it includes a protest march through
the residential and business areas of Soweto and afterwards, community, religious and
political leaders are encouraged to address the crowd and denounce hate crimes. Political
and cultural programs, including workshops and exhibitions, celebrate the struggles and
victories of African lesbians. (few.org.za)
46lcurve
Pride and
bravery in
the streets
of Soweto,
South Africa
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June 2011 I 47
48
1
curve
frameline
grandsponsor
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premiersponsors
SANFRANCISCO'S
char/esSCHWAB
SKYY
VODKA.
here the bois are
Callingall masculine queers! Experience a retreat that allows you to shed labels,
exami e assumptions and cultivate strengths. By Laniaya Alesia Hoofatt
A • le over a year ago, the very first group of Brown Boi
roject (BBP) leaders arrived at a large purple mansion
in Oakland, Cali£-an
auspicious beginning despite the
fact that three months earlier none of them had heard
about the organization, and it had no website. These
young leaders came from across the country, and from
the disparate fields of fashion, social justice, entertainment, academia, the culinary arts-even from the streets.
The Brown Boi Project is building an army, a very queer
and super-bad army, of young leaders who are poised to
change the world.
Founded in 2009, The Brown Boi Project encourages
leadership development and community organizing. It
brings people of color-masculine-of-center
women,
queer men, transmen, two-spirit people and straight
men-together in the same space to challenge assumptions
so I curve
and conventions, and to transgress the boundaries of masculinity. As a term, "masculine-of-center" recognizes "the
cultural breadth and depth of identity for lesbian/ queer
womyn who tilt toward the masculine side of the gender
scale;' explains Cole B. Cole, BBP founder and director,
who used her experiences working with straight men and
her research as a graduate student at the London School
of Economics to form the basis of the Brown Boi Project.
"The term includes a wide range of identities, such as
butch, stud, aggressive, tom, macha, boi, dom, etc:'
Positive representation is important for any cultural
group, but it is vital to the work of the Brown Boi Project,
whose mission is to break down the often negative perceptions that accompany an identification with masculinity.
BBP leaders are grouped into cohorts of 16 and selected
from a pool of applicants that has exceeded 100. "These
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leaders have so much to learn from each
other and in turn so much to share with
the broader world;' says Cole.
Enzi Tanner applied to the Brown Boi
Project because he wanted a meaningful
leadership development opportunity that
extended beyond the traditional Western models he had
experienced; one that was centered on his experience as a
person of color. He wanted an opportunity to engage in
conversation with queers of color and discuss the meaning
and true perception of masculinity within the community,
as a transman. "The biggest thing I learned from BBP was
ways of looking at my masculine privilege;' says Tanner,
"the realization that until I am willing to transform my
masculinity, those who are oppressed because of my
masculinity can never be liberated, myself included:'
Malachi Larrabee~Garza,
a BBP faculty member,
explains that each individual is selected for a specific
cohort. If they are selected, the Brown Boi Project covers
all their program expenses. Attendees just have to show
up-open
and ready to think about cultivating their
potential for leadership.
A good example of a young leader's openness to chal~
lenging assumptions is Jay~Marie Hill, a member of the
inaugural cohort, who was confronted with her masculinity
while living in other countries. "I visited South Africa in
the summer of 2009 and had the peculiar experience of
passing as a guy there about 50 percent of the time. The
trip was meant to be part of my research on a senior honors
thesis about theater, but it ultimately became about gender
and my relationship to it;' says Hill.
Originally, Hill thought of her masculinity only as part
of her athleticism but embraced it after traveling to South
Queer cohorts: Brown Boi
Project participants find a
deeper Pride in their masculinity
Africa and attending the BUTCH Voices
National Conference. Those two experi~
ences opened her eyes to masculinity in its many forms,
leaving her eager to learn more about what she now sees
as her inherent masculinity.
Hill believes that everything she learned from BBP has
equipped her and other Brown Bois to be trailblazers
because of their life experiences and unique perspectives
on the world. For example, she learned to embrace her
masculinity while climbing the ladder to success.
"BBP, and specifically Cole's example, helped me see that
there were lots of other people like me-nontraditionally
gender~conforming, successful in an academic sense, and
reflective about it-[ who are] struggling and searching
[for] a place in this large community;' says Hill.
Word is spreading about BBP's unique mission, and
applications are flooding into the organization. "There
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"I found a community of
people that I spent my
whole life searching fortalented, supportive and
beautiful people who are
working toward the same
end goal I am."
June 2011
I 51
were not any organizations that were dealing with what
we're trying to do. The butch identity is often seen as
two~dimensional, but it is a lot more than that;' says
Joe LeBlanc, the founder of BUTCH Voices and its
Resource Development chair. "They are doing some
amazing work:'
Most leadership development programs focus on one
particular aspect of life, but the Brown Boi Project covers
several. Many of the Brown Bois find community and family
while strengthening their valuable life~skills. Sessions are
filled with deep conversation about race and gender, but
participants are also trained in personal finance, fundraising,
community organizing, self~care, networking, communi~
cations and health.
Many Brown Boi alumni describe feeling vulnerable,
alone or exposed while out in their community, and unable
to explore those feelings until they attended the retreat. "I
found a community of people that I spent my whole life
searching for-talented,
supportive and beautiful people
who are working toward the same end goal I am;' says
Micah Domingo, who was in the August 2010 Cohort. "I
went from feeling incredibly alone to discovering a broad
network of Brown Bois who span the globe, all trying to
uplift themselves and their communities. I immediately
put what I learned into practice when I got back home,
and formed deeper connections with those around me:•
There is a consensus among the Brown Boi alumni that
before they went into the retreat no one knew what to
expect. The BBP did not issue agendas beforehand. But
after the retreat, the participants are confident, audacious
and courageous in how they present their masculinity.
They no longer see their identity as a setback, or a fault.
To them, masculinity is a unique identifying marker,
allowing them to be bolder in every aspect of their lives.
They see the BBP as a powerful outlet for creating change
and transforming the way people think about masculinity.
In just over a year, the Brown Boi Project has trained
70 leaders, ages 35 and younger. Yet as Cole says with a sly
smile, "This is simply the beginning:' (brownboiproject.org) ■
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52
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A rare look at lesbians living in China's
capital city. By Cedric Spilthooren
lovers /
beiji-ng
54
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7
•
•
•
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Ice+ Ke u
Ice:21,onlydaughter,webdesignstudent.
"I havenottalkedto my parentsaboutmy
sexuality."
Keyu:30,Englishteacherdivorced
,
mother
of a daughter."Wehavebeentogethersince
January2009.Wedo not livetogetherbut
we wantto. Onlyoneof ourfemalefriends
knowsaboutus. I havenottalkedto my
parens a ou my sexua1 . wou I e o
beoutto everyone,
includingmy parentsFor
.
the Chinesegays
, do notexistandwherethey
existtheyaresometimesconsideredsick.The
gaycommunityis beginningto be morevisible
in majorcities.Attitudesarechanginga little,
especiallyamongyoungpeoplewhoarenot
alarmedby ourwayof life."
June 2011
I55
• Xiao Ying + Yao
•
•
Yao:22,onlydaughter,
journalismstudent."Wemet
two yearsagoat university.Thisis ourfirst love.We
wantto livetogether,buya house,havea dognamed
Patton... the nameof theAmericangeneral... I have
nottalkedto my parentsaboutmy sexuality,but I
will-but not beforeI'm 30. I knowthey will not
acceptit [but]we believethat attitudeswill change."
Ran+ Wen
Ran:21,onlydaughter,studentin TCSL
(teachingChineseas a secondlanguage).
"I havenottalkedto my parentsaboutmy
sexuality.I think it will be difficultfor them
to learnandfor meto tell them,but I do
notwantto hidemy sexualityandwho I
am.Someof myfriendsknow,not all.Two
of themlearnedthat I wasa lesbianand
hateme now.Wewereclose."
Wen:23,onebrother,studentof business
in Londonfor six years."Wehavebeen
togetherfor six months.Welivedtogether
whenwe metin Beijing.Wedo notwantto
marryto hideour homosexuality
as some
Chinese
lesbiansdo.Wewanta realmarriage.
I havenottalkedto my parentsaboutmy
sexuality,but I'll do it in the nearfuture
becausetheyneedto know."
56
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WIND
YOUR WAY INTO THE HEART OF
SANFRANCISCO
With service to over 500 destinations nationwide, our welcoming onboard environment is just as
important as our beautiful views, great food and extra leg room. Whether enjoying a three-course
meal in the Dining car, playing cards with friends in the Lounge or just relaxing in our spacious
seats,Amtrak®invites you to embracethe moment.
Visit Amtra kRideWith Pride.com
I IA
~Gly.~bo,11-
..
A.NlTRAK
-----------
Enjoy the journey.sM
Amtrak, Acela, Acela Express, Enjoy the journey, and Amtrak Guest Rewards are registered service marks of the National Railroad Passenger Corporation.
Iden+ Jane
Iden:22,onlydaughter,
worksin
thejewelryindustry."I talkedto my
parentsaboutmysexuality.Mymother
askedmeif I wasa lesbianbecauseI
usuallybringfriendshomeandmost
of myfriendsare lesbians.I told her
yes.Shesuspectedit already."
Jane:21,onlydaughter,
finance
student."We'vebeentogeth
anda half.Wemetonthe I
Mostof myfriendsknow
sexuality.Manyof them
havenottalkedto my
mysexualityandI do not
will. Theyareverytrad'
will notacceptit. Mypare
longertogetherbut•
becauseof me."
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SANFRANCISCO
CELEBRATION
AND PARADE
sfpride.org
JUNE 25
JUNE 26
,t- .·•,:_·";--.
•
SATURDAY
-
1. '
•
,
.
•.
•
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SUNDAY
•
lesbian
magazine
THANKS ALSO TO OUR SPONSORS
amer,ca
•
- .
AD SPACE GENEROUSLY DONATED BY
the best-selling
with Celebrity Grand Marshals ...
..
Chaz Bono
Yigit Pura
Olympia Dukakis
•
.M9!
curve
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Flashback to the
'80s: Poolside
at Jersey's
Key West Hotel
jersey girls
Remembering a landmark lesbian venue.
By Patricia A. Post
It was the early 1980s and Asbury Park N.J. was the pop~
ular, if inconspicuous place for gay and lesbian bars. When
three local businesswomen gave new life to the abandoned
Albion Hotel, they created the Key West Hotel, a place to
unwind, meet friends, future loves, party, swim or dance
the night away without the pressures of the heterosexual
world. For the majority of women, the hotel offered the
only means of interaction with other lesbians, since being
gay was still taboo. The Key West Hotel would eventually
become the 1980's most popular club for New Jersey
lesbians, and possibly the oldest lesbian venue of its kind
on the East Coast.
It all began in the early 1970s when lovers and
California transplants Carol Torre and Camille Neto
settled in Asbury Park and met Kay San Fillippo, a bar~
tender at a small straight bar which featured a weekly 'gay
day:' The three women were frustrated with the over~
all conditions and treatment of lesbians at the gay
dubs in Asbury-to
have a bathroom that func~
tioned was a rarity and some of the women's bars
excluded gay men, even if they were friends of
the women patrons. So, Torre, Neto and Fillippo
decided to open their own bar.
"In the beginning we just wanted a bar that didn't
demean women and take this attitude that you have no other
choice because you're gay;' explains Torre."We wanted a bar
where people would be treated respectfully. If women came
in with a guy, the guy was welcome. They didn't have to
60
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grovel because we were nice enough to give them a bar:'
The women opened The Owl & Pussycat, on Main
St. in Asbury. "The Owl," as it became known, was a
success, so when the opportunity arose in 1981 for Torre
to purchase the nearby deserted Albion Hotel, she could
not refuse. Torre saw its potential, despite the fire damage,
broken windows, dated interior, antiquated plumbing and
electricity. Convincing Neto and Fillippo was another
story. When she took them to see the hotel, they thought
she'd lost her mind. "They both cried and said, 'This is
a joke, right:'"' Torre recalls. But she convinced them to
throw caution to the wind.
Renovating the hotel wasn't easy, but the women were
determined-and
resourceful. An old dining room was
converted into a disco and a smaller bar was created in
the lobby. They constructed tables for the restaurant but
other furnishings came from auctions: Tables and chairs
for the disco, and bar stools for the lobby bar came from
the Playboy Club in Manhattan; the disco bar came from
a local Italian restaurant and the beautiful bar in the main
lobby from a New York City restaurant. Although the
women were meticulous about renovating the interior, the
hotel's exterior was foreboding. But they preferred it that
way-if the outside was appealing it would attract straight
couples and locals from the nearby biker bars.
In 1982 the Albion was ready for its second life and was
renamed the Key West Hotel. It became more than a hotel:
It was a community of women who shared friendships,
Like NowhereLise
holidays, softball games, bowling, pool tournaments, picnics, birthdays and
holiday parties. There was something for everyone. If dancing downstairs in the
once famous Rainbow Room or upstairs in the Over the Rainbow disco was not
your thing, you could relax in the quieter Owl & Pussycat lounge, shoot a game
of pool or get acquainted with a potential love. In
summer, the Floridian pool was the perfect place to
cool off. Occasionally, the Rainbow Room gave local
gay musicians a chance to play for the hundreds of
women who filled the hotel's dance floor on summer
weekends.
For many New Jersey gay women, the Key West
Hotel was the beginning of becoming comfortable
with their identity. Going to a lesbian bar for the first
time could be frightening for young lesbians. Torre
instructed her staff to be aware of women with a
"deer~in~the~headlights" look and go the extra mile
to make them comfortable. For some, the hotel was
home-literally. At any given time as many as fifteen
women resided in the studios, large apartments and penthouses in the hotel. If
you were too merry to drive home, rooms were available free of charge.
But by the end of the decade there was trouble in paradise. Rumors about the
Asbury waterfront redevelopment circulated and many believed the hotel had
closed. Other gay bars opened, especially in northern New Jersey. But it was the
AIDS epidemic, rampant during the late '80s, which threatened the establish~
ment. Not much was known about how the disease was spread, which caused
paranoia. "By 1986, I had women afraid to go into the pool because they heard
a guy had been in there;' says Torre. "People no longer wanted to drink out of
glasses. I had to switch to plastic:'
With the imminent redevelopment of Asbury Park's waterfront, the hotel's
days were numbered. New Year's Eve 1989 was the last hurrah for the Key West
Hotel and its doors closed forever. Torre took it in her stride. "I felt I was at the
end of my l0~year stint. I have no regrets. It was a good time-a time that we
could never recreate:'
That time saw a generation of lesbians became comfortable with their
sexual orientation and many formed lifelong friendships and relationships.
Unfortunately, the hotel was demolished in the mid 2000s as part of the rede~
velopment and has been replaced by blacktop. Most young lesbians who stroll
by the site are not aware of the community that existed just a few short decades
ago. But to those who remember, Joni Mitchell's lament, "They paved paradise
and put up a parking lot" really hits home. ■
From solo to social: Singles
can eat, drink and make
merry with Olivia
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W///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
AT
One solo lesbian finds that when it comes to
cruising for company, it's plain sailing with Olivia.
By Kathy Beige
ON THE
HIGH SEAS
or years, going on an Olivia cruise was on my
bucket list. It seemed like something every
lesbian should do in her lifetime-like shaving
her head, getting a tattoo and following Ani
Difranco around for a summer. It just didn't
feel like my lesbian card would be fully punched
until I set sail with the ladies of Olivia. So, when I got invited
to join them on their Caribbean Halloween Cruise in 2009, I
about jumped out of my board shorts.
I would be traveling alone and as the sail date got nearer, I
started to get nervous thinking about walking onto a ship full
of lesbians all by mysel£ I am a pretty outgoing person, but I
also know what it's like to feel lonely in a crowd of people.
Well, the women of Olivia know that too, and for 20 years
they've perfected the art of lesbian travel, including traveling
for singles and solos. I now think traveling solo is probably
the best way to travel with Olivia.
I've been on a total of four Olivia vacations, but that first
one I took by myself holds a special place in my heart. It was
with a little bit of fear and lesbian bravado that I made my
way to the pre-sail social hour in my hotel the night before
my first cruise. Like walking into a lesbian bar all alone, it
took some courage to venture down into the hotel lobby
packed with dykes who all seemed to know one another. And
as it turns out, a lot of them had met either on other cruises
or on the Olivia message boards in the months previous.
June 2011
I 63
I got my Corona and looked around for a friendly face. I
was standing there, trying to look cool, but feeling awkward,
when a woman from across the room pointed at me and
gestured for me to come over. I looked over my shoulder to
make sure she was talking to me. Because I didn't know what
else to do, I made my way through the
UPCOMING
crowd to her group of friends.
OLIVIA CRUISES &
She told me she recognized me as
RESORT VACATIONS
a writer for this magazine and then
2011
introduced me to her friends. I'm
usually bad with names, but lucky for
July 2-9
Barcelona to Rome Cruise
me these three women were all named
on the award-winning
Barb. I planted myself on the couch
Windstar Windsurf
between two of them and from that
Aug. 17-24
moment on, I never felt alone again.
Romantic Danube
The Barbs invited me to join them for
Riverboat Cruise
dinner, on excursions and to sit with
Oct. 29-Nov. 4
them during the shows. I would later
Enchanted Hawaii Resort
find out that this is just the Olivia
at the 5-star Mauna
way. I honestly can't think of a place
Lani in Kona
where I've met friendlier women.
Dec. 3-10
But leaving nothing to chance,
St. Martin Island Paradise
Olivia has a very well~planned solos
Cruise on the award-winning
program. Ignorantly, on my first trip,
Windstar WindSpirit
I didn't take advantage of it. One of
2012
the coordinators kept asking me if I
Jan.29-Feb.5
was traveling alone, but since I wasn't
Western Caribbean Cruise
single, I didn't think the solo group
was
meant for me. It's true that a
Feb.4-11
Costa Rica &
large percent of the solo travelers are
The Panama Canal
single (at least when they start out on
the trip) but it's open and welcoming
May 5-12
Cancun, Mexico Resort
to anyone traveling alone, regardless
of relationship status.
June 20-27
On my next trip, I decided to take
Splendor of Scandinavia &
Russia Cruise
full advantage of the solos program.
64
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The coordinators greeted me the moment I walked onto
the ship with a solo dog tag and the week's agenda. At the
first meet and greet, 300 women showed up. Some were
clearly on a "find a girlfriend mission;' but most were just
glad to be in a sunny climate, surrounded by lesbians and
looking to make friends and meet interesting people. We
played some "get to know you" games, which did feel a
little like speed dating. "Where did you say you were from
againt"Oh, I met you five minutes ago, sorry:' I can't seem
to remember anyone's name. Am I a bad lesbian?
Gina, the solos coordinator tells me some of her tricks
for remembering names. Beverly has brown hair. B for
brown. B for Beverly.Joan owns a boat. Boat-Joan-the
middle two letters are the same. Oh, forget it! Why can't
we wear nametags all weekr
The solo travelers have events all throughout the week,
social hours, pool games and parties. Surprisingly, there
seems to be little stigma associated with the solo tag. I've
even heard of coupled travelers offering to buy them.
I think meal times are probably the most intimidating
for anyone traveling alone. Who wants to be that person
who sits at dinner all by herself, surrounded by tables of
laughing womenr Fortunately, Olivia has a special seating
area both at dinner and for the nightly shows for solos. And
in each port, solos can partake in excursions specifically for
them. My favorite was in the jungles of Belize, floating on a
tube on a river and through a cave.
I hung out with the solos when I wanted to, and it was
nice to know I could always meet up with them when I felt
alone, but overall, I found all of the women of Olivia to be
more than just friendly and welcoming, I've actually made
some good friends who I still stay in touch with and visit.
There are many ways to vacation and see places like
Cancun, Alaska or Hawaii, but a big part of traveling is the
people you meet. And I can think of no nicer a group than
the women of Olivia. (olivia.com) ■
he trend in Southern food is getting hotter than Georgia asphalt, with five-star restaurants in big cities
featuring menu items like shrimp and grits or pork-laced turnip greens alongside their haute cuisine.
Those who really know their food, though, can tell you that the best Southern-style cooking isn't in any
upscale restaurant. It's all about the napkin-soaking BBQ mile-high biscuits with sawmill gravy and
sweet potato pie, some of the best of which is served in small-but-friendly spots along the highways and
in proud Southern towns. Part of the experience of eating at a Southern diner is in finding it, and some of
the real gems are the restaurants you'll spot as you travel. Look for places where the locals eat, with in-state vehicles in the
parking lot (trucks are a good sign). A posting of daily specials is a hint that the food is fresh. If you' re traveling this summer,
be on the lookout for your own hidden treasures, or do your belly a favor and swing by one of these recommended eateries
(and tell 'em curve sent ya.)
BIG FATTY'SIN KNOXVILLE,TENN.
Owner and chef Lisa Smith isn't surprised that Southern
cuisine has turned trendy in big cities: "They're just gettin'
caught up to what we've always known:' The lesbianowned soul food restaurant speaks to Smith's philosophy
that diversity is important-"from
the flavors on the plate
to who's in the room:' While there's diversity a-plenty on
Big Fatty's menu, the focus is decidedly Southern, from
the slow-cooked, spice-rubbed pork loin to the hefty po'
boy sandwiches. The onion rings are a don't-miss itembattered-to-order rings of thinly-sliced sweet vidalia onions
with the distinct twang of buttermilk in the breading.
Wash it all down with a cold beer from the fridge or a glass
of sweet tea-"Sweet tea is the house wine of the South;'
declares Smith.
LEO AND SUSIE'S FAMOUS
GREENTOP BAR-B-Q IN DORA, ALA.
Located right on the highway about 20 miles
west of Birmingham, the unintentionally
retro roadhouse has been serving up its
legendary smoked pork since Truman was
in office. Though Leo passed away in 1997,
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Susie is still very much in charge, with her son and grandson
manning the pits and mixing up the celebrated sauce. The
menu is mainly barbecued smoked pork and chicken in
various combinations, but you'll want little else. A little
of Susie's creamy cole slaw and a cold drink, plus Tammy
Wynette on the jukebox, and you'll be in hog heaven.
THE FLYINGBISCUITCAFE IN ATLANTA,GA.
The Flying Biscuit is true to its Southern roots, serving
up classic fare like fried chicken and collard greens or
cornmeal-dusted fried green tomatoes along with fun
fusion dishes like a Coca-Cola BBQ-glazed salmon. As
the name indicates, breakfast is where the restaurant really
shines. The famed biscuits are phenomenally fluffy and
skyscraper tall, the perfect accompaniment to an order of
egg-topped turkey hash.
Be sure to allow for extra
time after the meal to
visit Outwrite, Atlanta's
famed LGBT bookstore,
which is mere steps away
from thier popular midtown location's door.
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MAMA DIP'S KITCHEN
IN CHAPEL HILL, N.C.
Start reading off the list of
side dishes at Mama Dip's
restaurant and you'll think they're the words to a James
Brown song: Collard greens, black~eyed peas, okra, rice and
gravy. Mama Dip herself is almost as famous now as the
food she's been serving up since she opened a restaurant in
the '70s with $64-of which $40 was for the food and $24
to make change. She uses what she calls the "dump cooking
method" (no recipes, just dump it in) to make Southern
specialties like chicken and dumplings, spicy catfish gumbo
and country~fried steak. Call ahead and Mama Dip will
pack you a picnic basket for the road.
HENRY'S SOUL CAFE IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
The nation's capital may be packed with museums and
memorials, but you can learn almost as much about our
country's culture just by tasting one bite at Henry's Soul
Food Cafe. D.C:s regular folk line the sidewalks in front
of this small, cinder block joint for soul~infused specialties
like turkey wings with homemade stuffing, mountainous
portions of collards and perfect pork chops smothered in
~///////////////////////////
oe e
thick gravy,plus old~school favorites like a
fatback breakfast platter. Henry's is take~
out only, so tote your meal to Dupont
Circle, where the central fountain is not
only a historic gay rights landmark, but also one of the best
people~watching spots in town. ■
SOUTHERN MENU LEXICON
Here's a crash course in menu items you might find
below the Mason-Dixon line.
Sawmill Gravy Thick,
white, peppery gravy. The
traditional accompaniment to
biscuits.
Chow-Chow The chutney
of the South: a pickled,
cabbage-based condiment.
Try it on pinto beans.
Red-Eye Gravy Made from
pan drippings deglazed with
strong black coffee, often
served with salty country
ham.
Cracklins Crisp-fried bits
of pork skin used to flavor
vegetables or cornbread.
Hot Brown An open-faced
turkey sandwich covered in a
Bechamel-style sauce. Also
called "Kentucky hot brown."
Country-Fried Coated in
buttermilk and cornmeal
or flour and fried (usually
without egg). Countryfried catfish and okra are
common.
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June 2011
I 67
II,
PRIDEAT
30,000
Eight airlines making the friendly
skies even (gay) friendlier.
By Yana Tallon-Hicks
FEET
ne of the first things you do when planning a getaway is to book a flight, and
with ticket prices steadily rising, you'll
pay a pretty penny just to get from Point
A to Point B. It's always a bonus when
you can spend your hard-earned cash in
support of a company that supports you, so when booking
that next flight, use an airline that gets our rights right.
It makes sense to list UNITEDAIRLINESfirst, as United
was the first U.S. airline to tailor a national ad campaign
to the lesbian and gay market and to announce domestic
partner benefits for employees. It was also one of the first
to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation, and
has been on The Advocate's list of"good companies for gay
and lesbian employees" since 1999. (united.com)
AMERICANAIRLINES'LGBT travel website launched
in 2005, and they invite us to "fly with a friend while you
vacation with a partner:' A.A. was also voted one of the
Best Places to Work for LGBT Equality by HRC in 2008.
(aavacations.com/rainbow)
SOUTHWEST and DELTAhave jumped on the online
LGBT-bandwagon, offering special travel deals and
featuring top gay getaway destinations in special LGBT
travel sections on their sites. Southwest's employees have
also marched in Washington D.C:s Capital Pride Parade.
(southwest.com/gaytravel, delta.com)
68
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VIRGINAMERICAand BRITISHAIRWAYSare the official
airlines of San Francisco and London Pride. A step in the
right direction for B.A. whose March 2006 snafu with a
gay couple nearly landed them in court (a flight attendant
allegedly tried to hide a cuddling male couple with a blanket
but the airline apologized and the suit was dropped; they've
sponsored London Pride ever since). Virgin America,
was nominated by Gay.corn's readers as one of the top
LG BT-friendly airlines of 2009. ( virgin-america.com,
britishairways.com)
JETBLUEalso made the HRC cut, earning a 100 percent
rating in its Corporate Equality Index for the last two
years. And according to Lesbian Histories and Cultures,
edited by Bonnie Zimmerman, Virgin Atlantic have been
offering gay-targeted travel deals since 1995. (jetblue.com)
SAS It doesn't get much more LGBT-friendly than
Scandinavian Airlines, so if you are headed to this liberal
and sophisticated part of Europe, enjoy SAS's unbeatable
open-minded humor and hospitality. (fiysas.com)
For a dyketastic long-haul laugh, book your seat on AIR
NEW ZEALAND'sannual Pink Flight, which flies from San
Francisco or Los Angeles to Sydney's queer Mardi Gras.
The always-sold-out-LGBT-themed party flight, featuring
on-board drag queen performances, music, contests,
queer film screenings and all-star hosts the likes of Kathy
Griffin. (airnewzealand.com) ■
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REVIEWSMusic Watch
LuckyTiger
L.A.-based power pop trio EZ Tiger rolls the dice on success after its debut release. By Maria De La 0
Like most aspiring but unheralded musicians,
Tina DiGeorge, Kristy Mcinnis and Tina
Pascual often dreamed of getting their big
break. Trying to nudge their dreams forward,
they came together to form the indie rock band
EZ Tiger. After only three live performances
(and lead singer Di George had a case oflaryngitis to boot), their big break came a-knockin'
in the form of Scott Bennett, a keyboardist
and producer for the iconic Beach Boy
Brian Wilson.
"I was kind of skeptical;' admits
drummer Mcinnis, who works as a freelance TV producer by day. "The music
industry people say a lot of things, but
don't always mean what they say. So
when Scott said, after seeing us perform just that one time, that he wanted
to produce our record, I was skeptical
about the sincerity of his statement. At
the time, I knew nothing of his musical
70
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background. I just thought, 'Well, we'll see if
he calls us back: However, Scott did call us
back, and I thought, 'Wow-this
guy isn't
joking. This might really be happening:"
Her initial uncertainty was quickly replaced
with a profound sense of gratitude-and
excitement. "Scott has integrity and is deeply
passionate about music. It was an amazing
experience and an honor to work with such
a talented producer;' says Mcinnis. "It just
all seemed to fall together so effortlessly. A
real blessing:'
"We've all said this is the band that we wish
we'd had all along;' says lead singer and guitarist DiGeorge, describing the short, sweet
life of EZ Tiger. It's a lineup that's changed
by one third since the recording: Bassist Tina
Pascual left the band and was replaced by
Anna Maria Rosales. Of Pascual's
departure, Mcinnis says, "We had
just finished the album and wanted to
do more. She just didn't want to put
in the commitment. It was the worst
timing, but it was for the best. Anna
is a way better bass player-a real bad
ass:' She added, 'J\.ll of us really trust
each other's musical instincts:'
For bass player Rosales, who sang
backups on the album, playing in
EZ Tiger is a welcome change from
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being the token female in a band-a
position she has often found herself in.
Rosales, who taught herself the bass at
age 19-and then replaced the bassist in
her boyfriend's band-says, "(Men are]
a little more lax about things. The girls
work really, really hard:'
And work they have, turning a lucky
break into a genuine opportunity.
Just a year after "the girls" met Scott
Bennett at Echo Park's Taix 321 Lounge,
EZ Tiger had finished its self-titled debut
album, produced by Bennett at the legendary Sunset Sound recording studio
in Hollywood, and it was garnering rave
reviews in the local press.
"Scott got our music. He knew what
to do with it-he didn't overproduce it;'
says Mcinnis. Di George adds, "He didn't
mess with our sound, just captured it
and brought out aspects of it. He's done
everything he said he would do, and for
free, basically:'
Soon after the album dropped, the
band was featured in Music Connection
magazine's "Top 100 Unsigned Bands"
list. "It's been fabulous;' says Rosales of
the reaction from the music industry and
fans alike. "We didn't expect the reviews
to be so (positive ]-they really embraced
w the album and really liked the songs:•
~ Everyone, it seems, loves the EZ Tiger
~ sound, which belongs somewhere near
~
[;j the Pixies or The Breeders, but vocally
~ hits closer to Ben Gibbard of Death
Cab for Cutie. DiGeorge describes her
~ singing voice as "vocal androgyny"-and
!§' it mirrors her androgynous looks. (Both
DiGeorge and Mcinnis are gay. And
~ their sexuality influences EZ Tiger's
~ lyrics, which are primarily penned by
~ DiGeorge.)
~
u:::
Despite their being on the verge of hit~ ting it big, for now all three women are
~
s keeping their day jobs. But, fingers crossed,
~ they're looking forward to a time when
~
music pays all the bills. "One of these days;•
0
says Di George, 'Tm going to say,'I don't do
~ anything else. This is all we do: That's what
0
~ we'll be telling you in the very near future:•
w
~ (reverhnation.com/eztiger)■
i
g
~
g
"Music industrypeoplesay a lot of things, but don't alwaysmean
what they say.So when Scott said he wanted to produceour record,
I was skeptical...Scott did call us back, and I thought, 'Wow-this
guy isn't joking. This might reallybe happening'."
WhoYouAre
JessieJ
WillYouMarryMe?
RachaelKilgour
(Universal
MusicGroup) (Self-released)
Walls
AnHorse
(BMI)
Ohland
OhLand
(EpicRecords)
If auto-tuned
hotties
Thereis something
gleefullyreminiscent
havewornouttheir
welcomeonyourMP3 of thefemale-driven
player,thenJessieJ,
musicof the mid-'90s
the bisexualR&B(soon- in Rachael
Kilgour's
to-be)sensation
isjust newalbum.Perhaps
whatyou'relooking
it's that it's infused
for.Putsimply,the
with a DIYspiritbutit's
girl canwail.Herfirst
alsouniquelyfeminine
in thewayso muchof
albumWhoYouAreis
a 13-trackhit machine. the musicwasin Lilith
Fair'sheyday.Rich,
Infact,"Doit Likea
Dude,"thegenderskillfulinstrumentation
bendingreggae-tinged backsKilgour'smelodic
rapcoretrackthatfirst andsubtlyquavermadelezzieearsperk ingvoiceonstandout
upandtakenotice
tracks"Snowplow"and
hasalreadyhit No.
"DirtyGirl."Plus,the
outsinger-songwriter
2 onthe U.K.charts.
isn'tafraidto infuse
Thesoulthrowback
"MammaKnowsBest," personalpoliticsinto
showcases
JessieJ's
hermusic.Thealbum
astounding
vocalrange is namedfor a song
andthe instantathat is equalparts
neouslycatchyalbum celebration
of her
closer"PriceTag"
grandparents'
60-year
marriageandhercomsummons
visionsof
warmsummernights, mitmentto marriage
dancingandgood
equality.Thisis the
times.WepredictWho perfectopenlyqueer
YouAreis thealbumto fit for fansof Joan
beatin 2012Grammys. Osborne
or LisaLoeb.
(universalmusic.
com)
(rachaelki!gour.
com)
Returning
for their
secondalbum,Walls,
AussieduoKate
Cooper
andDamon
Coxcontinueto refine
theirsound,a synergy
of atmospheric
indie
pop.Cooper
wrotemost
of thesongswhile
adjusting
to hernew
homein Montreal,
throughboththejoyof
a newgirlfriendand
theshockingillnessof
a familymember,
the
resultof whichis songs
infusedwith longing
andmelancholy
told
throughhercleverand
confessional
lyrics.It's
thissadness,
juxtaposedwithspunkypop
attitude,plusCooper's
charmingbutquirkily
accented
voice,that
makefor anaudibly
pleasingdissonance.
Theswankyleadtrack
"Dressed
Sharply"is
TheKillersmeetsTegan
andSara,andtitletrack
is delightfully
odd.
(bmi.com)
Likeso manyartists,
Denmark
nativeOh
Land'scareersprang
fromadversity.
Trained
in ballet,herhopesof
beinga professional
dancerwerecut short
bya spinalinjury.But
afterrealizingthat
herloveof danceand
singingwereinspired
bythesamepassion
for music,sheemerged
fromthisdarktime
reinvented.
OhLand's
sophomore
self-titled
albumis twinkling,
etherealandirreverent
trip-hopwitha dance
edge."Perfection,"
a
beat-driven
orchestral
song,underscores
OhLand'senchanting,
soaringvoiceand
thethrobbingdance
floor-friendly
"SonOfa
Gun"landedOhLand
a NewNowNext:Brink
of Famenomination
fromLogo.If youlike
Sia,Poeor Portishead,
you'llloveOhLand.
(epicrecords.com)
June 2011
I 71
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Lone Star Pride
Everything is bigger in Texas, including lesbian reality 1V. By Jillian Eugenics
"People in Texas are full of pride;' says
Debbie Forth, creator of the new lesbian
series LezBeProud, which follows two lesbian
couples as they live their lives, out and proud
in the Bible Belt. ''I've always been out and
proud of who I am. We just love the state of
Texas, even though it doesn't love us back:'
LezBeProud follows Forth and her partner
Dawn, as well as a second couple, Kristi and
Lauren. The series was inspired by Forth
who, sitting down to watch other lesbian
reality TV shows, saw that she wasn't rep~
resented. "Our lives include homework,
soccer practice and work. I tossed the idea
[of LezBeProud] around in my head for some
time. Meanwhile, the idea of same~sex mar~
riage and the opposition to our lifestyle was
constantly in the media. This negative press
left me questioning, 'Where's my voicer Who
721curve
Same-sex marriage and the opposition to our
lifestyle was constantly in the media. This negative
press left me questioning, 'Where's my voice?
Who would understand my family and my view?'
would understand my family and my view?"'
Viewers of the first season can expect a
front~row seat to Forth and Dawn's upcoming
wedding, which she promises will be quite
the affair-they've rented a villa on beauti~
fol Lake Travis in Austin with 75 guests in
attendance and a fire theme, symbolizing the
passion behind their "fairy tale" romance. The
couple will even take their vows in front of a
30~foot slate wall with fire and water cascad~
ing behind them.
Other storylines of the show include
Kristi's reconciliation of her religion with
her sexuality. The daughter of a Baptist
minister, and a former youth minister herself,
Kristi sees the show as a mission to "help
the youth of America see that there are true,
good professional women out there living a
a:
healthy lifestyle with love around them and g
acceptance; it's not all hatred:' We'll also meet ~
Kristi's partner Lauren, who is originally from ~
Saigon and has just begun to reconnect with il:
her family. Forth's partner Dawn is a Marine
who works for the U.S. Government,
and she is not out at work. The show will
follow Dawn's experience of her sexuality
becoming known to the world.
For Forth, it's important to show an
alternative lesbian lifestyle to that of par~
ties and drama so often depicted in reality
TV. "Maybe it's boring, but it's real life.
We date, and raise the kids, and have this
normal, everyday family. We believe it
takes an army to raise these kids. I'm so
feminine, I'm a business professional, I love
family. I don't go to bars, I don't have time
to go to Dinah Shore because I'm running
a household and a company. I don't have
time to party, and when I do I want to do
it with my family:'
Forth insists that LezBeProud is for the
whole community and encourages viewers
to be part of the project. Fans can share
their stories on the LezBeProud site, which
Forth hopes will contribute to the diver~
sity of the series. "People have criticized
that there isn't enough diversity. To us,
diversity doesn't just mean black or white.
I can't tell a person's story; I can only tell
my story. I hope our stories relate to other
people. But if it doesn't relate to you, go to
the website and tell your story. Be a part of
this cast:' ( lezbeproud.com)■
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OrgasmInc.
(FirstRunFeatures}
HereCometheGirls3
(Peccadillo
Pictures}
FemaleSexual
Dysfunction
is a
controversial
"disease"that allegedly
affects43 percent
of women-and the
racefor a "cure" is
underway,
whetherit
is a pill, ointmentor
surgicalprocedure.
However,
its opponentsbelieveFSDis
a fabricatedaffliction,
createdto cashin
on billionsin profits.
Speakingwith pharma
reps,FSDopponent
LeonoreTiefer,Good
Vibrations'Carol
Queenand,most
heart-breakingly,
with Charletta,
a
healthymiddle-aged
womantakingpart
in the clinicaltrial for
the "Orgasmatron,"
an electrodethat is
insertedintoherspinal
column,OrgasmInc.
asksa lot of poignant
questionsabout
femalepleasureand
howour healthis being
commodified.
The
resultis LizCanner's
fascinating,funnyand
ultimatelydisturbing
documentary.
(firstrunfeatures.
com)
Comprised
of nine
award-winning
films
froma varietyof
film testsincluding
Sundance,
Frameline,
Outfestandfeaturing
anagreeably
diverse
castof women(both
ethnically
andin age),
HereCometheGirls3
is a highlyentertaining
anthology
of lesbian
shortfilms.Highlights
includeI AmJin Young,
anengaging
Korean
shortfeaturinga precociousprepubescent
girl
whoselifeandviewof
sexualitychangewhen
hermotherbrings
homeherhottomboy
friend;thequickand
sexyTrophy
in whichan
EllenPagelook-a-like
babydykeseduces
herfather'snew
trophywifeandPublic
Relations,
a charming
upbeatromantic-comedyshortin thevein
of ImagineMe& You,
whichfollowsthe buddingromancebetween
two overworked
personalassistants
who,
afteryearsof talkingon
the phone,aresuddenly
in thesamecity.
(peccapics.
com)
TrueBlood:
TheComplete
ThirdSeason
(HomeBoxOffice}
TheOwls
(FirstRunFeatures}
Queerin every
sense,TheOwlsis a
A not-so-guilty
pleasure, moody,atmospheric
mockumentary-style
seasonthreeof True
noirmurder-mystery
Bloodfeatures
more
directedby NewQueer
of the romance,
dark
Cinematrailblazer
humorandtitillation
thatmakesthisshowso CherylDunye.Starring
alongsidepioneers
watchable.
Pickingup
like Guinevere
Turner,
whereseasontwo left
off,Sookieis searching V.S.BrodieandLisa
Gornickaretoday's
for herundeadbeau,
queerindieupstarts
Bill.Assisting
herin
and
investigating
thevamp- DeakEvgenikos
nappingis newcomer SkylerCooperwho
playa murdervictim
Alcide,whois-of
course-a werewolf. andthe mysterious
Andtherestof theBon strangerwhoshows
up on theirdoorstep,
Tempscrewhastheir
respectively.
Midway
handsfull withtheir
throughthe film, the
owndrama.Vampire
lesbianqueenSophie- actorsbreakthe fourth
Anneis upto herusual wallandbeginspeaking
asthemselves
about
illicit shenanigans,
howeverthe vampire their roles,motherhood,agingand
authorities
(think
SpanishInquisition)
are owls-both the featheredkindandOlder
closingin,Tarahasa
from
new,ill-advised
lover, WiserLesbians,
whichthe film takes
andLafayette
getshis
groovebackwitha hot its name.Experimental
andoh-soarty,it's a
Latino.Plus,vampire
uniqueplatformfrom
Pamfinallykicksthe
whichto observeand
innuendo
to thecurb
analyzethe film's
andgetsherlezon.
themes
of isolation,
Soapy,sexysouthern
fearof agingandloss
dramaat itsfinestof identity.
andqueerest.
(firstrunfeatures.com)
(hbo.com)
June 2011
I 73
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
DividedWe Stand
One lesbian couple shares their struggle with love across borders in Torn Apart. By Philippa
Fallingin lovewith someonefrom another country can make life complicated,especiallywhen
U.S. immigration laws do not grant bi-national LGBT couplesthe same rights as heterosexuals. A new book revealsthe heartacheof couples
torn apart by the law, and one woman shares
her story.
My relationship with my partner, Inger,
who is from Colorado, evolved very quickly
nearly three years ago. It was clear there was
something between us when we talked for
nine-hour stretches on the phone or the webcam. When we met in person in Denver, the
chemistry was overwhelming. When I looked
into her eyes, I didn't understand it, but I saw
forever. Inger's daughter took to me immediately and our family started to take shape. I
have made trips to the U.S. from my home in
Norfolk, U.K. and they have made two trips
to the U.K., but as I sit typing this, we haven't
seen each other for seven months. This is the
74
I curve
longest we have been separated
and it has taken its toll on us
emotionally
and physically.
After months apart, we will spend
two weeks together at the cost of $2500, just
for the privilege of the flights. Our lives are
built on hellos that we know always have a
goodbye attached.
"I am left upset and
confused because I am
not seen as worthy of
loving an American simply because that
American happens to
be of the same gender."
It never ceases to amaze me how little
Americans know about the discrimination
happening in their own country. Not only
are they surprised when I have to leave because Inger cannot sponsor me, but they are
ignorant of the fact that I risk being turned
away at the border as I could be perceived as
an overstay risk. My alien status is another
example of the denial to LGBT Americans
of the 1,138 rights afforded to heterosexual married couples because same-sex
partners cannot legally marry on a federal
level. It doesn't seem to matter that LGBT
Americans pay the same taxes as everyone
else. If you don't fit into the definition of
marriage defined by DOMA (Defense of
Marriage Act) you don't deserve the same rights.
People talk about "special rights" and how gay
people are making a fuss by
wanting to be treated "differently:' I can't agree with
that. When I come into
America, I risk being treated
as a criminal, a flight risk,
somebody who may have
to justify their visit in terms
other than that of a loving
relationship. Weve been doing
this for nearly three years and our love hasn't
faltered-it grows every day. How can it be
wrong to love like this?
By much of the world, America is seen as
a country of progression and power, yet it
will not allow a portion of its citizens the
basic civil rights that all people who abide
by the law should be given. As the alien in
this situation I am left upset and confused
because I am not seen as worthy ofloving an
American -simply because that American
happens to be of the same gender. America
talks about other countries and how they
need to change their discriminatory laws,
whilst seemingly bowing down to religious
institutions at home that preach judgement
and condemnation of anyone that doesn't
choose their path. Being gay isn't a choice.
FairyTale Endings Three stories of getting the girl-in
Thebookopenswiththe death
of Ash'smother,Elinor,who
dieswhenAshis young.Ash's
first contactwiththe mystical
creaturesaroundherhappens
the nightof hermother'sburial,
whenAshkeepsa vigilover
Elinor'sgrave.Ash'sfathersoon
remarries,
thenalsodies,leaving
AshandHuntress,
MalindaLo
Ashasthe indentured
servantto
(LittleBrown):Writingfiction
a cruelnewstepmother
andtwo
aimedprimarilyat teenscan
stepsisters.
Growingup nearan
limit anauthor'saudience,
enchanted
wood,andpossessing
however,
openlylesbianwriter
MalindaLa'stwo books,Ashand powersthat graduallyunfold,Ash
Huntress,
areperfectexamplesof bideshertime in unfurlingher
freedom.Asthe storybuilds,so
well-writtenfictionthat canand
doesthe relationship
between
shouldcrossoverbetweenYA
andadultsciencefiction-fantasy. Ashandthe youngHuntress
Herwritinghasbeenrecognized Kaisa,whoteachesAshabout
manytimesin the lastfew years. femalefriendship.Soon,Ash
beginsto dreamof a different
In 2006,shewasawardedthe
futurefor herself,andwhenshe
SarahPettitMemorialAwardfor
is offeredseveralwishesfromthe
Excellence
in LGBTJournalism
shemustdecide
bythe NationalGayandLesbian fairySidhean,
in whichdirectionherfuture,and
Journalists
Association
andhas
herdesires,will turn.
beena finalistfor theWilliam
Huntressis a prequelto
C.MorrisYADebutAward,the
Ashbutthetwo bookshaveno
AndreNortonAwardfor YA
charactersin common.Instead,
ScienceFictionandFantasyand
Huntress
takesplaceseveral
the LambdaLiteraryAwardfor
hundredyearsbeforethetimeof
Children's/Young
Adult.Shealso
Ash,in an erawhenmagicwas
receiveda nodfromKirkusin
morecommonin the land,and
2009for BestBookfor Children
contactbetweenhumansand
andTeens.
othercreaturesis strained.It is
La'sfirst novel,Ash,is a
lesbianretellingof the Cinderella upto two teenagedgirls,Taisin,
a sagein training,andKaede,a
storyfromthe perspective
futurewarrior,to savethe human
of Aisling,betterknownasAsh.
Neither is falling in love. Yes-what we do
with the feelings we have is a choice, but
that choice is between being happy or settling
for something less, which will never truly
fulfill us.
We decided we had to be public with
our situation, even though there are obvious
risks. But how do we change anything if
we hider We are actively encouraging other
bi~national couples to tell their stories, as
our voices alone won't be enough to change
anything. I was approached by author Judy
both fantasy and reality.
world.Thetwo areselectedto
embarkon a journeyto Tanlili,
thefar off city of the FairyQueen,
to fulfill a mission,whichwill
bringsunshinebackto theirown
lands.Alongthe way,theyare
severelytestedbyforcesthat
aimto destroythem,including
packsof savagewolvesand
demonicbabies.AndthenTaisin's
originalmysticalvisionof the
trip, in whichsheforesawa love
bloomingbetweenherandKaede,
beginsto takeshapedespiteher
ownresistance.
Fansof fantasynovels,
includingreaderswhoare
fondof workslike TheGolden
Compass
andthe HarryPotter
series,will appreciate
the worlds
that MalindaLohasso carefully
constructed.
Herabilityto populate
theseworldswith compelling
younglesbiancharactersis an
addedbonusthat curve readers
will especiallyenjoy.(hachettebookgroup.com)
forayintoa full exposurecoming
out,Hollywood-style.
Bygoingon
a Sweetcruisewith herpartner
of manyyears,participating
in
the lesbianwebseriesWeHave
to StopNow,andappearingon
TheTodayShow,Baxtercame
out in a blazeof glory.TheFamily
Tiesstar,an actorwith many
years'experience
in movies,
on stageandin otherbeloved
televisionshowssuchas Family,
wasstartledbythe warmreception herannouncement
made,
andwasthusinspiredto tell her
life story.Andit's a goodone.
Growingupwith a self-absorbed
actormotheranda narcissistic
andunpredictable
stepfather,
Baxterlaysbarehertroubledhistoryof childhoodfamilyinstability,herownyoungmotherhood,
multipleunhappymarriages,
alcoholism,
survivingbreast
cancerand,finally,
creatinga happy,
supportiverelationshipwith Nancy
Untied:
A Memoirof Family,
Locke.BothBaxter
Meredith fansandthose
Fame,andFloundering,
simplylookingfor an
Baxter(CrownPublishing
Celebrityautobiographies inspiringcomingout
Group):
talewill enjoyUntied,
arenotusuallywellthoughtof
wheregirl meets
by bookcritics.However,
actor
girl,everyoneis thrilled,andthey
MeredithBaxter'snewbook,
reallydo livehappilyeverafter.
Untied,is an exception
to this
(crownpublishing.
com)
rule.Baxterbeginsthe bookwith
a prologuethatcapturesher
[RachelPepper]
Rickard, via Facebook, after she had read
an article I had written about being in a
bi~national relationship. She felt that our
story was one that needed to be included
in the book, Torn Apart: United By Love,
Divided By Law, so after a discussion with
Inger we agreed to be interviewed. We were
treated with respect and given control over
our story. We hope that the book will open
the eyes of American citizens who do not
know about the discriminative immigration
system in their country.
I refuse to overstay visas and live a life in
hiding. I don't want to bring our daughter up
in a world of shame. I want her to be raised
in a loving environment where we can show
her that she can be whoever she wants to be:
The only limitations imposed are the ones
she places on hersel£ America isn't my home;
the U.K. isn't my home either. My home is
wherever my wife and child are with me and
I hope one day soon our life together can
begin properly. ( tornapart.findhornpress.com,
stopthedeportations.com) ■
June 2011
I 75
REVIEWSFood
Cool Beans
Meet Jackie Mendelson, lesbian coffee entrepreneur and altruist. By JD Disalvatore
If you're not sure whether a Tanzania
Peaberry is a sex toy or the newest mini
version of the Blackberry, just ask Jackie
Mendelson. "Gorgeous beans!" she proclaims,
"I always do a happy dance every time I open
up a fresh bag:'
The beans she refers to are coffee beans,
and from her exuberance I glean these are
something like the Catherine Deneuve of
coffee beans. Then again, anything having to
do with coffee lights up her face and evokes
a delightful outpouring of information that
ranges from nuances of taste, to varieties of
farming methods, and even the history of this
now ubiquitous beverage."! love the Tanzania
Peaberry because it is one of the best examples
of the fruity notes and flowery aromas of East
African coffees, and the double bean expands
that profile;' she informs me as I look down
at the cup of coffee in my hand. All I know is
76
I curve
this is one kick,ass cup of joe.
What many of us consider a mundane
daily morning ritual is actually Mendelson's
passion and profession. At an age when
many retire, Mendelson has started her own
coffee company, Arabica Dabra, where she
has managed quite successfully to merge her
love of coffee with her entrepreneurial spirit
and her life long mission of helping others.
Mendelson spent 30 years working in the
non,profit sector, and the root of her coffee
business actually emerged from the 15 years
she spent fighting the HIV/ AIDS pandemic.
"I had the privilege of opening clinics around
the world, so I went to Uganda, Kenya,
Swaziland, Cambodia, India and Latin
America. Wherever I went that was close to
the equator, I saw that they were growing
coffee;' says the former chief of operations for
the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. Many of
the people she helped were coffee growers, so
she had the opportunity to learn first hand.
"I went onto the farms and started talking to
the farmers about how they nurtured their
saplings, grew trees, pruned and picked:'
She also noticed that the sale of coffee
beans was often the only means of financially
supporting these struggling farmers and if
these communities were to survive and
flourish where AIDS and poverty had
devastated the populations, nurturing this
trade was imperative. Mendelson realized
that it was vital that they sold their coffee and
got the best price they could. Which is why
she now buys beans from these areas, and in
addition gives back a portion of the proceeds
to help these communities. She does this by
buying and donating pigs, goats, cows and
bicycles to farmers-tools that are integral to
growing and sustaining their livelihoods.
~
t
~
~
~
~
Coffee for a cause:
Production in Uganda
(top); and the final product
"You don't have to be a big corporation or
nonprofit to make a difference;' Mendelson
says. "You can be someone who is a small in~
dependent business owner that decides, I can
do something on my own to put something
back in the pot:'
Her business model of giving back with
Arabica Dabra also extends to the consumer.
"I wanted to bring coffee that I knew was
excellent to people who were used to getting
just Starbucks or Colombian-just the generic
basic cup of coffee;' she explains.
With the enthusiasm of the well~caffein~
ated she shares stories of her work around
the world fighting HIV/ AIDS. Her deep
connection to the lands and their people
comes from working in the trenches. Many
of those who survived because of treatment
joined her in helping others."From the jungles in
Cambodia to India, the Ukraine and China ...
en
z
~
~
w
a:
0
ti:
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;;;
0
~
people working together to get others medi~
cation are the most wonderful and kindest
and inspirational people on earth. They are
all champions:•
As to the origin of Mendelson's fearless
commitment to helping people in other
countries (which at one point to lead her
to slash her way through jungle thickets in
search of a site for a clinic), Mendelson offers
a simple explanation: "I was a hippy in the
Haight~Ashbury in the 1960s!"
Jackie Mendelson has a head for coffee
and a heart for giving. "If you buy coffee
through me;' she tells me, "You don't get a
tax write off, but you get a pound of unbe~
lievably good coffee. It's certainly fresher
than any coffee you buy at the grocery store
and at the same price:' Not to mention that
with every sip you take, you're making a
difference. ( tastymagic.com) ■
REVIEWSTech Girl
The You Show
How to start your own podcast. By Rachel Shatto
In recent years, podcasts have become hugely
popular-and
with good reason: They are
the perfect antidote to a long commute,
infused with a DIY spirit and custombuilt to fit your niche interest. Plus, they're
(mostly) free and highly addictive.
It's because podcasting is such a do-ityourself format that it has been able to grow
into such a vast sea of voices-of
which
many, excitingly, are lesbian.
If you're new to podcasting, The Lesbian
Lounge is a fantastic listen. Out and proud
co-hosts Denise and Donna keep the Sapphic
dialog going despite the fact that they live
Tools of the
trade: Zoom H4N
(clockwise from
left), Plantronics
.Audio 655 and
the Snowball
on separate continents. 2 Homos is also ~----a hilarious (if very NSFW) collaboration
recording in one room. The second is similar,
of married couple Roxanne and Virginia,
only online. The last is recorded anywhere
who talk about whatever comes to mindno topic is off limits. That's just the beginyou want using a multichannel recorder.
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Once you've decided on a format, it's time
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or recorder and editing software.
Podcasts are hard work, and have
There is a lot of great-and
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mendations for podcasting gear:
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For recording in a studio-like setting,
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to interviews, to group discussions and This sexy little plug-and-play USB mic brings
even one-woman shows, you have the free- studio-quality sound home and is ideal for
everything from recording music to podcasting.
dom to create something custom-fit to your
Plus, with its reasonable price, you aren't going
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world. How cool is that:'
to go broke following your passion. Using
Blue's optional ringer shockmount, you'll
Once you've decided it's time to stop
depriving the world of your unique view, avoid picking up any banging or tapping
for a polished, professionalyou've got some decisions to make. The first: noises-making
sounding show. ($99, bluemic.com)
What format will your podcast be:'
If you prefer to go the online route, a
headset with mic may be your best bet. For
our money, nothing beats the Plantronics
.Audio655.Like the Snowball, this headset is
USB plug-and-play. Its lightweight, pillowy
design makes it comfy, in addition to being
easy to use. Most importantly, the audio is crisp,
and at $50 it can't be beat. (plantronics.com)
There are three basic types: A studio-style
Should you crave flexibility and plan to
recording, group online recording, and mobile host your show on the go, a portable recorder
recording. The first involves one or more hosts
is best. It's important to get a good one, as
You have the freedom to create
something custom-fit to your
desires ... then you get to share it
with the world. How cool is that?
controlling background noise can be chal~
lenging and you'll something flexible enough
to pick up more than one person speaking
at a time. Or favorite is the ZoomH4N.By
crossing two condenser mies in an "x/y"
formation, it's able to record in all directions.
(zoom.coJp)
The next step is to make sure you have the
correct software to bring your broadcasting
dream to life. For Mac users we recommend
GarageBand for studio format shows-
and editing all three types. For PC users,
Audacity is a free and functional choice for
recording and editing, although when you're
ready to step things up, you'll want to invest
in higher~tier software like Mixcraft 5 from
Acoustica.
For podcasts recorded online, the combo
of Skype and IMCapture (Mac and PC) is
the way to go for reliable and relatively inex~
pensive results.
The final step in getting your wisdom,
wit and winning personality to the listening
masses is to select a hosting service. Most
popular is PodOmatic, which offers free
hosting along with paid options (with grad~
ually increasing benefits). It's also ideal for
fledgling shows since it makes putting your
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After that, you'll have your gear and a
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all that's
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June 2011
I 79
TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
Kristen
Kavanaugh
The former Marine Corps
officer is supporting service
members through the repeal
of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
By Merryn Johns
We rejoiced at the repeal
of Don't Ask, Don't
Tell {DADT) but Kristen
Kavanaugh saw more work
ahead. The former Marine
co-founded The Military
Acceptance Project {MAP),
an organization promoting
acceptance of lesbian
and gay service members
during and after the repeal.
1 . Sheservedfor 9 yearsin the MiddleEast
andisnowanactivist."Throughout my career
I had no outlet to express myself and no one I
could comfortably confide in. I was given the
strength to endure the challenges of DADT
so that I would be able to help others. I have
a duty to my fellow LGBT service members
to ensure they never again have to face the
types and levels of discrimination that I did
in the military:'
2. She enduredservingher countrywhile
closeted.
"In Iraq, my boss-a Colonel who
had been in the Marine Corps longer than
I had been alive-politely
suggested that
I wear shorter shorts in order to 'increase
my chances of finding a boyfriend: I wasn't
able to speak with my partner openly on the
phone. I had to be very careful what I included
in my emails because they could be read by
my command at any time. My boss offered to
give up my seat on the flight home from Iraq
to someone who had a wife and kids waiting.
Ultimately, I left the Marine Corps because
I could not justify lying to myself and others
in order to protect my career:'
5. Shegalvanizes
support.
"From chain of command to protocol to the key role that family
plays in the lives of service members, there is
a distinct culture within the armed services
that must be understood for any organization like ours to be effective:' She has found
supporters: LGBT and straight, military and
non-military-including
The Department of
Defense and branches of the military who
"were pleased that they would finally have a
way to hear from and communicate with LGB
service members. Because we have no partisan
or political agenda, we can serve as a neutral
conduit between these groups:'
6. She valuesher local lesbiancommunity.
"While I spent most of my time watching
my actions and what I said at work, I did
have support from my civilian lesbian community. Our community in San Diego is
very tight knit. My connection to them has
proven to be a valuable resource, especially
with this project:'
7. She made lesbiansa majority,for once.
Seventy-five percent of those in the MAP
focus group were lesbians. "Lesbians were
3. Shesawtheopportunity
forfurtherreform. integral in helping us know what to focus
"I watched President Obama liberate my
on with our mission. Oftentimes, the media
brothers and sisters in arms with one stroke
focuses on gay men in the military and fails
of the pen. He said, 'This is done: I thought,
to include the lesbian experience:'
'Yes... but not yet: Although LGB service
8. Shepromotes
diversefamilies.
"When you
members are initially afforded some of the
are overseas and in a war zone, loved ones
rights of their straight counterparts, they
are an absolute lifeline. As an LG B service
don't have any of the family rights because
member, you are cut off from that lifeline in
the Defense of Marriage Act is firmly in
many ways:'
place. They don't enjoy protection and equal
opportunity, as women or racial or religious
9. She'sgivenDADTa face. She came out
groups do. The repeal does nothing to proafter leaving active duty and entering the
tect them from discrimination beyond the
workforce. "My co-workers were amazing.
ability to serve openly. It also does not adMy experience did not match the horror
dress the transgender community and their
desire to serve our country:'
stories they had been told about gay people.
They supported me and continue to support
4. She convertedher militaryexpertiseinto me to this day:'
activism.As a student at the University of
1 0. She believesin Pride."Gay Pride is
Southern California's School of Social Work
essential. The ability to celebrate who you
she was given the assignment ofleading a team
are is the foundation for acceptance, both
in advocating for a marginalized population.
She chose to advocate for LGBT service personally and as a community. Marching
sends a message to those who cannot yet
members and convinced her classmates to
accept themselves that there is a community
support her choice. "We have been working
waiting for them when they are ready:' ~
tirelessly since January to gather accurate
I
information and build our website:'
(militaryacceptanceproject.org)
■
Q
g
so I curve
FAMI _ -IEN_DS
+
EQ -----;..___
Y+RESPECT
MACY'SIS PROUDTO JOIN THE PARADEACROSSAMERICAIN HONOR OF
NATIONALPRIDEMONTH. WE THINK IT'S REALLYSOMETHING TO CELEBRATE.
FOR MORE INFO, GO TO MACYS.COM/PRIDE
*
macys
~
t'::::';J::.~Es
h •w El
Proudly recognized by The Trevor Project for our commitment to the LGBT community
and by the Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index with a 100%rating
Find us.
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IS BACK!
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HRIDGESTOnE
Your Journey, Our Passion
Designed for the COURSE of your life.
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Celebrating pride
PLACESTOWORK
2010
for LGBT Equality
100% CORPORATEEQUALITYINDEJ!.
When you look back at the efforts and achievements of LGBT men and women
over the years, there's every reason to be proud. Not just once a year, but every
day. Wells Fargo takes great pride in the diversity of the communities we serve.
That's why we continue to make financial contributions to LGBT nonprofits,
provide services specific to the needs of our LGBT customers and foster a work
environment that doesn't just accept differences, but celebrates them.
Happy Pride. All year round.
Together we'll go far
wellsfargo.com/lgbt
© 2011 Wells Fargo Bank, N.A. All rights reserved. Member FDIC.
Features JUNE2011
30
Bringing Sexy Back, For Real
The Real L Word returns with more depth,
more diversity and dare we say, more sex. Fire
up your DVR and discuss! By Rachel Shatto
36
Not a 'T' Party
Take a walk in the shoes of transgender,
transsexual and intersex people this Pride.
By Ashley Love
38
A Guatemalan Affair
Meet the first lesbian couple to get married
in Guatemala, Spanish-colonial style-and
what style!
62
At Home On the High Seas
Single or vacationing alone? For over more
than three decades Olivia has honed the fine
art of Sapphic hospitality. By Kathy Beige
72
Lone Star Pride
Lesbian Pride in Texas takes the form of
a new reality show. By Jillian Eugenios
SpecialPrideSection
What does Pride mean to lesbians today?
43
Pride Vox Pop
We took to the streets to ask, What does
Pride mean to you? By Jillian Eugenios
46
The Power of a Few
After bloodshed, South African
lesbians march against prejudice.
By Lauren Barkume
50
Where the Bois Are
Masculine queers of color step up
to the plate. By Laniaya Hoofatt
54
Lovers In Beijing
Meet the Chinese lesbians pushing
the boundaries of acceptance.
By Cedric Spilthooren
60
Jersey Girls
Flashback to '80s Asbury Park in its
lesbian heyday. By Patricia A. Post
68
Pride at 30,000 Feet
Fly the gay-friendly way with these
airlines. By Yana Tallon-Hicks
COVER
PHOTO
BYWARWICK
SAINT/SHOWTIME
2
I curve
page42
page
24
Departments JUNE2011
19
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IN EVERY ISSUE
6
7
8
10
17
24
resident lesbian dating expert, Meredith
Schlosser. Plus, 10 tricks to keep your long
distance love alive-and smoking hot.
Editor's Letter
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Letters
27
Out in Front
21
Scene
22
80
Lipstick & Dipstick
Politics
Need Gay Pride? You betcha. More now
than ever before.
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
Stars
28
Laugh Track
Kate Clinton gets her Pride on with
characteristic wit and insight.
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Curvatures
Ladies, behave! Well, it wouldn't be
Lesbofile without a few hot messes.
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Celebrity Gossip
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Top Ten Reasons We Love ...
A sexy, modern take on the traditional
Pride gear-with zero tacky rainbow
tie-dye in sight.
(/)
CJ
<l'.
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18
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(/)
Contributors
20
11
Relationships: Meet The Setup Squad's
Music: Queer trio EZ Tiger offers a
I
refreshing new sound and attitude.
(/)
Film: Our viewing picks, plus meet the
cast of LezBeProud,Houston's hot new
LL
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reality web series.
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Books: In a new book, bi-national
couples tough it out across borders.
76
~
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Food: Coffee is more than a breakfast drink.
For one lesbian, it's a humanitarian mission.
78
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Tech: Make your voice heard! Become a
lesbian podcaster. Here's how.
CD
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Impressionism is the second most inJluential movement this paintin9 was part of
A TOLERANT WORLD IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. But we're getting there. At Progressive, we /
believe in respecting all people and finding beauty in their differences. It's just one way we live
up to our name. To learn more about our Works in Progress initiative, visit progressive.com/lgbt.
Progressive Casualty Ins. Co. and its affiliates, Mayfield Village, OH. 10D00056 (06/10)
PROGR£II/V£®
EDITOR'S
NOTE
curve
B
ack in my early years of cultural studies, I had a
highly esteemed college professor who chastised me for
saying that I believed I was born gay. She felt that this "born
gay" belie£ if it became widely accepted, could open the doors
to Nazi~style minority cleansing. Moreover, as a second~wave
feminist, she valued the "right to choose:' Like so many in
positions of authority, she made the mistake of viewing an
earnest claim to difference other than race, but such as sexual
orientation or gender identity, as a political
ploy-a move driven by a desire for"special
treatment:'
It's disconcerting how the demand
for equal rights by any minority can be
twisted, even by intelligent people, into
something else. Gays have been labeled as
drama queens, lesbians as dour, bisexuals
as nonexistent and trans people as too
complicated to understand-and
no one
knows what to do with genderqueers and
the intersex-all because they continue to
stand up and demand their own authentic
identities and equal rights. And they
should: Not one of these identities is better
or more valid than another. I didn't choose
to be a lesbian any more than I chose to
be white or female, so it's astonishing to
me that the extent to which I can "own''
my identity and live fully is not an automatic right. Only
heterosexuals are accorded the privilege of being accepted and
rewarded throughout their lives for popping out on the "right"
side of the social status quo.
Many countries, the United States included, drag their feet
on the issue of human rights, which includes LGBT rights. I
am not a lifestyle choice- I am a fact. But right now, I am a
second class citizen. I believe equal rights for all LGBT people
will happen in my lifetime, but until then we need Pride and
the protection afforded by the rainbow umbrella that unites, if
sometimes uneasily, the L, the G, the B and the T.
In getting this issue together, I felt that it was important
to hear from groups that don't automatically take center stage
at Pride: African American, Asian, South African and trans.
Hello, also, to the bi~national lesbian couples fighting separa~
tion. I'm one of you. On a lighter note we have the wonderful
Kate Clinton to keep us amused and the cast of The Real L
Word to keep cranking out the dyke drama. A girl's gotta have
some fun, right? Happy Pride!
Until
Equality,
Pride
~~
Merryn Jo s
Editor-inief
merryn@curvemag.com
6
I curve
THE BEST-SELLING
JUNE 2011
I
LESBIAN
MAGAZINE
VOLUME 21 NUMBER 5
Publisher Silke Bader
Founding Publisher Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Merryn Johns
Managing Editor Rachel Shatto
Associate Editor Jillian Eugenios
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Contributing Editors Diane Anderson-Minshall, Victoria A.
Brownworth, Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
EditorialAssistant Liska Koenig
PUBLISHING
Associate Publisher Diana L. Berry
Director of Operations Laura McConnell
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Jamie Anderson, Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin, Bree
Clarke, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Beren deMotier, Lauren Marie
Fleming, Lisa Gunther, Tania Hammidi, Kathi lsserman, Melany
Joy Beck, Gillian Kendall, Georgia Krokus, Kate Lacey, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Ariel MessmanRucker, Alison Peters, Heather Robinson, Laurie K. Schenden, Lori
Selke, Janelle Sorenson, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Yana TallonHicks, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Erica Beckman, Brie Childers, Meagan Cignoli, Cheryl Craig,
JD Disalvatore, Tony Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Cheryl Mazak,
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Stelten, Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams, Misty Winter
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Volume 21 Issue 5 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published monthly (except for bimonthly
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Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part,
without written permission from the publisher. Publication of the name or photograph of any
persons or organizations appearing, advertising or listing in Curve may not be taken as an
indication of the sexual orientation of that individual or group unless specifically stated. Curve
welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE for response.
Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions cannot be
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ti:
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curvemag.com
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u
CONTRIBUTORS
"To find a group of people who look past your outer shell
and dive deep into who you are from the inside out is
amazing. The Brown Boi Project's core values, mission and
ability to build leaders leaves me speechless and wanting
more;' says LaniayaHoofattwho is currently a political/
social-networking researcher. Hoofatt took to writing as
an outlet during high school but later joined the college
newspaper. In her senior year she was chosen to work
on the student project for the National Lesbian Gay
Journalist Association in Washington D.C. From there
she interned at OurChart and Velvetpark where she is currently the production editor for the site. For the past year
and a half she has been working on her first novel and a
graphic novel aimed at queer youth.
[u.:
0
0
~
0
z
~
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0
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0
I
1-
z<(
French photographer Cedric Spilthoorenspent several
months in Beijing, China, taking portraits and interviewing
gay and lesbian couples. "In a country where communal
and family values are the pillars of society, where an individual's life is directed by the heavy weight of filial devotion,
to pursue one's own sexual orientation is a gamble. This
work doesn't aim to judge Chinese society, but rather to tell a
story about people who love each other. I am touched and
emboldened by people who have the guts to be what they are,
no matter the country they live in:' Check out his stunning
pictorial on page 54. (cedric-spilthooren-photography.com)
Freelance writing, incessant volunteering and substitute
teaching in British Columbia have kept KyraThomson's
professional life unpredictable. Fortunately, this is offset
by the comforting constants in her life: Her British partner,
her Gretsch guitar, a vinyl record collection, omelettes and
strong coffee, Harriet the cat, hockey and helping out every
week at a children's hospice in Vancouver. In addition to
volunteering at the hospice, Kyra also organizes and hosts
an annual live music fundraiser for the facility in memory
of two nieces.
"These days I'd rather eat a hot slab of cornbread than
"but it
fine caviar;' says freelance writer KellyRobinson,
took me a long time to appreciate Southern cooking. It's
easy to dismiss the dishes you grew up with, especially when
you first leave home and want to broaden your palate
along with your horizons:• After sampling and writing
about some of the best dishes in the world, Robinson
has come full circle, and now counts the food traditions
of the Appalachians as among the world's best. A lifelong resident of Tennessee, Robinson has written for
magazines such as Mental Floss, Games and Culinary
Trends, and is working on her first book, a guide to
post-apocalyptic fiction and film. She shares the South's
cuisine in "The Savory South" on page 66.
June 2011
17
LETTERS
"colonialist stance" toward third world women
and cultures. Ms. Brownworth makes the all
too common assumption that Western feminist
perspectives such as clothing, and body visi~
bility should apply to all women. The problem
is not in fact the burqa or hijab, the problem
is with autocratic and patriarchal oppressive
governments. But forcing a women to de~veil
her head does not automatically make her free.
Allowing a woman the choice to wear what
she wants offers the autonomy we should all
have as women in any part of the world.
From Curve's
Facebook Wall
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Changing Demographics?
Frustrated Fashion
I love curve magazine and was thrilled to
see my local bookstore carry your subscrip~
tion. The magazine keeps me updated on
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front. And while I love curve, I found the
"Dangerous Fashion" [Vol. 21#3] article very
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and media has been to use their position of
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problems in what Uma Narayan calls a
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lf you feel you are not being representedin the
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Dude for Diversity
Poll
How are you celebrating
Pride this year?
47%
28%
17%
4%
4%
I'm watchingthe parade
I'd loveto go,but I'm notout
I just wanted to tell you all at curve how much
I enjoy your magazine. I've been a subscriber
for over a year and look forward to every new
issue. Something I did want to comment
on-it seems every month in the letters page,
there's a reader unhappy that something about
the previous issue didn't speak to them or
their situation. I'm always a little puzzled by
this. As a hetero male, I'm probably about as
far away from the "target demographic" that
I can be, and yet I find thought~provoking,
inspiring and educational material in every
issue. Frankly, I don't expect curve, or any
magazine, to somehow cater to me or my
ii'.JILike
interests or identity in everything it does; and
really,how dull that would be if a magazine did.
It's the diversity, the opportunity to expand my
understanding, the chance to see beyond my
own borders and experiences and world~view
that I find so compelling and rewarding.
-Dennis Edelen,Miami, Fla.
CORRECTIONS
BecauseI Can is Daphne Willis' second album.
[Vol.21#3]
Beenthere,donethat
andI'm overit
I'm in the parade
I'm skippingthe parade
butnotthe parties
According
to a curvemag.com
poll
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curve magazine,
POBox467,NewYork,NY10034
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Thinking Outside the Pink Triangle
Montreal~based graphic designer Erny Storey of Storey
Elementary first caught our eye in 2009 as the artistic vision~
ary behind the striking album covers for bands such as Tegan
and Sara and Death Cab for Cutie. For Storey, design is as
crucial an element to album sales as it is to the success of a
political movement.
It is this interest in combining social justice with intel~
ligent graphic campaigns and merchandise that led writer
and web consultant Sarah Fobes to team up with Storey to
launch Revel & Riot. A web~based company, Revel & Riot
promotes LGBT rights, awareness and equality through new
media, graphics, writing and products.
The website showcases a growing assortment of innovative
merchandise, with the intent to promote dialogue in society
around LGBT issues. Storey and Fobes understand that
"when you wear a clever shirt that addresses a serious topic,
people take notice and come forward to engage. Our shirts
are about Pride, humor and education:'
But what sets Revel & Riot apart from other sloganeering is
their commitment to provide extensive educational resources
on topics such as coming out and transgender health, as well
as role model profiles and an impressive searchable database
of community organizations. They also gather relevant news
items and uniquely divide these current events into a "revel"
category that celebrates accomplishments and political
victories; or the "riot" category, which monitors homophobia,
transphobia, ignorance and violence in the news.
"When we were thinking of a name for our company we
tried to come up with something that really captured the
essence of LGBT life today;' explains Storey. "On the one
,_ ~~
~
~
-·
Revel & R_iot:sSarah Fobes (left) and Erny Storey
.....
hand we have pride, we celebrate, we love, we create our
own communities and often our own families, but then on
the other hand there is so much suffering, discrimination,
violence and alienation. It can be a life of extreme contrasts
for many people:'
Fobes and Storey decided that a more natural way to
present both sides would be to play into the contrast,
because "somehow the painful stuff is more manageable that
way;' says Storey. "The contrast then becomes something we
can balance rather than something that breaks us down:'
Revel & Riot is growing steadily, in both content and
presence, and will continue to expand their online resources,
educational materials and designs. You can purchase their
merchandise online, or find them at San Francisco Pride this
year, and revel in the fact that a percentage of every shirt sale is
donated to LGBT organizations and campaigns.
(revelandriot.com)
[KyraThomson]
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June 2011
I 11
CURVATURES
Modern Pride
Hot rainbow gear to spice up this year's parade. By Rachel Shatto
Who among us doesn't have at least one shudder~worthy photo from a previous Pride of ourselves wearing
something tacky, in the name of allegiance to the rainbow flag? How did you, a normally fashion~forward
dyke, end up decked out in Labrys symbols and rainbow tie~dye? Simple: A lack of options. But that's no reason
to bid the rainbow adieu forever because now more than ever the rainbow and its polychromatic symbolism
represents the unprecedented diversity within our ever~evolving LGBT community. So this year, let your
Pride flag fly by infusing your we're~here~we're~queer~rainbow~gear with a little glamour. Here are 10 of our
sexy suggestions for clothes, jewelry and accessories-with
nary a freedom ring or tie~dye tee in sight.
0
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1. Tastethe Rainbow
Youknowwhat's neversexy?
Dehydration
andplasticbottles.We
suggesttacklingtwo libidokillersat
oncewith a rainbowsparkleSiggwater
bottle.Nodoubtyou'veseenthese
eco-friendlythirst quenchingsolutions
just abouteverywhereandnowyoucan
sip awayanddeclarethat you'rean out
proudhomoall at the sametime.
($22,cafepress.com)
2. Can'tRainon ThisParade
Comerainor shine,nothingprotectsyou
fromthe weatherlike an umbrella.So,for
Pride,why not gayyourboringold umbrella
with a rainbowumbrellafromthe Museum
of ModernArt's collection.Besides,who
knowswho mightduckunderfor... well...
cover.($25,uncommongoods.com)
3. DogDays
Youaren'tthe onlyonewho wantsto be
lookinghot at Pride,so don'tforgetabout
yourpoochwhenit's time to dressto
impress.It doesn'tget anycuterthanthe
Easygorainbowharnessvest.PuppyPrideto-go.($25,pawsonpalmbeach.com)
5. ShiverMe Timbers
Handcrafted
andorganic,rainbowwood
hoopsfromTheEarringChest
are unique
andattention-grabbing
jewelrythat's so
chic you'll wearthemyear-round.
($1O,etsy.com/shop/TheEarringChest)
4. FemmeFascination
Prideis a greatexcuseto unleashyour
innerdiva,so go crazyoverthe top and
extravagant,
andjust havefun with your
accessories.Ourpickfor eye-catching
glamour:A hot one-of-a-kindburlesque
inspiredfascinatorfrom Blazing
Thimbles.($40andup,etsy.com/shop/
BlazingThimbles)
-
&. KawaiiKicks
Treatyourfeet to an
adorablePride-fest
with the animeinspired
BunnyHill Keds.From
the streetsof San
Franciscoto Tokyothese
shoesarefun, irreverent,
functionalandcutefor
butchesandfemmes
alike.($60,zazzle.com)
7. Homosof a Feather
Longfeatherearringsare
Oberhot right nowandwith
FeatherObsession's
supersexy
rainbowearringsmadefrom
undyedmacawparrotfeathersyou
getthe bestof bothworlds.($24,
etsy.com/shop/FeatherObsession)
8. TurnYourHaters
Into Congratulators
Declareyourpersonalspacea
hate-freezone,whereyou'refree
to get your Prideon with this
cheekytee byTrulySanctuary.
($22,etsy.com/shop/
trulysanctuary)
9. PunkRockPride
Feathersandglitter too femme
for your liking?Well,howabout
addinga little edgeinstead
with this supercool,handcrochetedrainbowMohawk
hat.($17,etsy.com/shop/
Craftielilhart)
1o.Fromthe Hip
Likeit or not,fannypacks
havemadea comeback-this
time rebrandedas "belt
bags."Stopfightingthe
inevitableandgivein to this
oh-so-user-friendly
trend
by choosinga fierceone.
Ourpick:the hot pink denim
numberfrom Rocksand
Salt.($64,etsy.com/shop/
rocksandsalt)
PHOTOS: COURTESY
OF CAFEPRESS (1),
ROMIELIZ GREEN (4),
ZAZZLE.COM (6),
SHARON DAVIS (7)
June 2011
I 13
CURVATURES
the rundown
Massachusetts
Governor DevalPatrickhas nominated
BarbaraA.Lenkto serve on the state's Supreme Judicial
Court. Lenk is the longest~servingjustice on the state's
Court of Appeals, and is openly lesbian. If confirmed,
Lenk will be the first openly LGBT member of
Massachusetts' highest court ... The Nebraska
Supreme
Courtis considering whether a lesbian can
have parental rights terminated if she fails to act like
a parent after a separation. TeriLathamand Susan
Schwerdtfeger
were together for over 15 years before
having a son together. When the relationship ended,
Schwerdtfeger argued that Latham hadn't remained
part of their son's life and should lose parental rights.
Latham says her access to their son has
been restricted ... President Obamahas
announced his nomination of Alison
Nathanfor a judgeship on the U.S.
DistrictCourtfortheSouthern
Districtof
NewYorkState.Nathan currently serves
as the Special Counsel to the Solicitor General as part
of the New York State Office of the Attorney
General. She is an out lesbian, and is
the fourth LGBT judicial appoint~
ment by the Obama administra~
tion ... BBCSports Broadcaster
ClareBalding
says that coming out
as a lesbian has made her a better
broadcaster because she is no longer
hiding who she is. Balding also
says that coming out has made
her more popular with women.
"Women are funny the way they watch telly, because
they don't like women who they think might nick
series TheRealHousewives
their husband:: .. Bravo's
of Orange
County
is breaking new ground with the
Rocha,the first openly lesbian
inclusion of Fernanda
housewife to be part of the series. Rocha is making
waves about her inability to be legally married because
of her sexual orientation, and has posed topless for
campaign ... Belinda
Sanchez,
an 18~year~old
the NoHB
EastHighSchoolin Illinois,
lesbian student at Proviso
has won the right to wear a
tux to her prom. After school
officials told Sanchez that she
needed to wear a dress, she
contacted the ACLUwho sent
a letter on her behalf to the
school. The school maintains
they were considering changing
their decision before receiving
the letter from the ACLU.
[Sassafras
Lowrey]
racktrc.,_i
Treasure Chest
Nothing says classy dyke like a brassiere full of loose house
keys, credit cards and cash-and
it's a quick way to lose
things, too. But here's a saucy solution for the pocketless
gal on the go. Now you can tuck your goodies into your ...
well. .. goodies with the Racktrap, an ingenious little pocket
that slips into your bra and can hold a license, cash, keys
and credit cards, so you can boogie hands-free. Ideal for
those late nights at Pride, the Racktrap is available in a
fashion three-pack (black, white and nude lace), a sweatproof sports model and in divatastic gold. No pockets, no
purse, no problem. ($8 and up, theracktrap.com)
Hot Tee of the Month
z
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Withtheircheekily
inclusivenewtee,
Threadless
declares
whatwe alreadyknow:
Whetherit's two girls,
two boysor evena
wizardandan alien,
loveis love.($20,
threadless.com)
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HONORARY
LIFETIME
LESBIAN
MEMBERSHIP
OUTINFRONT
Unabashed
Two women create change
through laughter and tenacity.
By Sheryl Kay
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~
~
-~
~
-~
·;
~
Comic Relief
By day, SimoneCampbellis a sales and support specialist for a West Coast educational
software company, by night she's a stand-up
comic and on top of it all she's a committed
social activist. "I try to keep my finger on the
pulse of what's going on in my community;'
says Campbell.
One cause close to Campbell's heart is
preventing youth violence. She recalls a
horrifying incident in which a teenager put
a gun to her head-and
pulled the trigger.
The gun wasn't loaded, but that didn't prevent
Campbell from seeing her life flash before her
eyes. The teen then put the gun down and
said, "Gee, it's your lucky day, dyke:•
The episode propelled Campbell to
spend 10 years on the Speakers Bureau of
Community United Against Violence, an
organization co-founded by Tom Ammiano
in San Francisco. "Do you know that more
than 25 percent of the violence perpetuated
against us [is committed by] kids?" she asks.
"We need to change that, and the only way is
through education and talking to kids-and
to keep talking:'
Campbell also lends her energetic support to Benefit for the Boob, the proceeds of
which go to the San Francisco Breast Cancer
Emergency Fund and to the Gay American
Heroes Foundation. She also recently worked
with the Harvey Milk Foundation on the
Official Harvey Milk Day Celebration in Los
Angeles, for which she was able to secure the
rooftop of Madame Tussauds Wax Museum
on Hollywood Boulevard as the venue.
While Campbell is deeply committed to
community activism in her personal life, her
comedy show is another story."I may be political, but my humor is hardly what I would call
politically correct;' she says. "I talk about
everything from wardrobe malfunctions to
sex to pot smoking. Nothing is safe. Let's
face it-people are there to laugh:'
Campbell believes laughter is good medicine
but, more importantly, it's a gateway for action.
"The goal is to get people laughing, and hopefully they are also thinking about the little
ways they can make a difference:•
Bold Brit
Twenty-five years ago, Clare Dimyonstood
just steps away from Buckingham Palace,
attending her very first LGBT Pride event in
a country where homophobia was as common
as afternoon tea.
So it's easy to imagine the overwhelming
emotions Dimyon felt late last year when
she was actually invited into the same palace,
greeted by Prince Charles and awarded an
MBE (Member of the British Empire) specifically in recognitionof her gay rights work.
Dimyon, a longtime activist who also teaches
engineering and technology, describes what
she felt at that moment: "Immense pride for
this first official honor for Pride, pride at the
first reading inside Buckingham Palace of the
words 'lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender'
and pride that I am now trusted and beloved
of Her Majesty, the same head of state who
had to sign the appalling Section 28 into law,
which treated me and other lesbian and gay
people as child molesters:•
But even while her own homeland was
moving slowly toward full recognition of
LGBT rights, Dimyon never sat back complacently. She took her work on the road and,
as far back as 1995, started making visits to
Central and Eastern Europe. She began with
a visit to Poland. Worried that gay men did
not have access to prophylactics, she smuggled
in 500 condoms and handed them over to
Lambda Warszawa.
"I was mightily relieved not to have to
explain that to the Polish customs officials;'
she says.
From there, Dimyon has taken her activism
to Latvia, Moldavia, Estonia, Russia, Slovakia,
Hungary and the Czech Republic.
Why does she do itr
"If I can do something that moves things
in the right direction, why wouldn't I do itr"
she says. She also credits her Quaker beliefs:
"The central tenets of Quaker faith are truth,
justice and equality, so it is simply impossible
to stand by when there is work to be done to
achieve them:' ■
June 2011
I 17
LESBOFILE
Dyke Drama-rama Chely gets engaged, Gaga gets censored,
and it looks like it may finally be the end for LiRo. By Jocelyn Voo
SometimesCowgirlsDon'tGetthe Blues
A NewSeries
Wedding bells are ringing for country singer
Chely Wright and girlfriend Lauren Blitzer,
who've set the date for late August. As for
who did the asking, no bended knee here:
"We proposed to each other. Designed our
rings together, too;' Wright told After Ellen.
com. Looks like the couple, who met through
their shared child advocacy work, are in for
many years of togetherness.
Model and actor JessicaClarkisn't just slated
to appear in the upcoming movie The Perfect
Ending-she's also going to be starring in
State of Georgia,a new ABC Family comedy
series set to premiere June 25, alongside
Raven-Symone.
Symone is set to play an
aspiring actress in N.Y.C., while Clark is her
"science geek" best friend.
NewGirlin Town
Another month, another LiRo story. Despite
a few not-so-long-ago tweets from Sam
Ronsonabout LindsayLohanstill asleep in
her bed, the two were never officially back
together. And now it looks like they're definitely not getting back together, because
there's a new girl in town: Yoga instructor
Tiffany Russo was seen making out with
Ronson in March. Er-make
that divorced
yoga instructor. Russo split with her husband
of seven years in 2006 due to "irreconcilable
differences:'
Song,Censored
No doubt you've heard Lady
"Born This Way" by now,
Gaga's
as it's been No. 1 on Billboard's
charts for over five weeks. That
is, unless you're in Malaysia. The
song, which promotes racial and
18
I curve
sexual tolerance, has been partially garbled
by the radio broadcasters in that countryspecifically, the lyrics "No matter gay, straight
or bi, lesbian, trans gendered life, I'm on the
right track, baby:'
Broadcasters claim their cautiousness stems
from government restrictions. In the past,
other artists like Beyonceand KylieMinogue
have either had their music or live performances toned down. However, some Malaysian
activists cry foul. Looks like the song's message
got lost in translation here.
zCJ
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Hip-HopHomos?
S2,
Step aside Oprah and Gayle-here
comes
the MissyElliottand KeriHilsonlesbian rumor
mill. After Sapphic gossip started swirling on
the Internet from a purported "insider;' both
artists took to setting the record straight.
Hilson claimed it was all lies, tweeting,
"How do those ppl sleep at night? I love and
respect Missy and her work, but we've never
worked [together] and I've probably seen her
five times in my life:' Elliott responded in
kind: "Girl, it amazes me how we
never worked together, and barely
know each other, but they make
up a full out lie:'
Readers, it's true: You can't
believe all the gossip in print.
Unless it's Lesbofile. ■
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June 2011 I 19
STARS
Summer Lovin'
Things get hot, heavy and full of Pride this June.
By Charlene Lichtenstein
Gemini(May22-June 21)
Expect the unexpected at work. A new office romance
could be brewing by the coffee station. Or perhaps
you're up for a big promotion? The real pay,off is
something that is totally behind the scenes. And that
means you might be caught off guard when all is
revealed. Avoid stealing office supplies until you
find out what is what.
Cancer(June22-July 23)
A particular selective dub or organization has its eye
on making you a member. This can lead to big things
for you-both important contacts and opportunities.
So keep your eyes and ears open for an important
message and don't stray too far afield. You want to
be ready to make your big move. How big is really
up to you.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Gemini(May 22-June 21)
All your hard work is finally recognized and rewarded.
SapphicTwinshavemany, Your creative ideas gain an audience and your pet
manyproudgal palsfrom projects become cultural trends. Proud Lionesses can
all walks of life. Sheis no now take control and make their voices heard. What
snoband is truly interested
will you do with all this power and prestige? Will you
in what makespeopletick.
spread your good cheer around or become a profes,
Forthis reason,you may
sional diva? Let's try and guess.
haveto shareher attention
with the immediateworld,
but it will be an interesting Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
and rewardingexperience. The best thing that you can do this month is to make
Hergatheringsare special yourself scarce. Take a well,deserved vacation and just
events,chock-a-blockfull of relax. If time is short and money is tight, find ways to
famousand not-so-famous expand your horizons closer to home. Even if your
folks exchangingsizzling luxury sauna is just a hot bath at home, it can be the
gossip,bon mots and escape you need to de,stress. Push the world later.
engagingideas.You'llfind
her wendingher way through Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
the crowd,whisperingin ears
June heats up to a rapid boil and so do you. Libras are
and hobnobbinghereand
especially sexy and alluring now and can choose any
there.Catchher if you can,
lovergrrl they want. But be discerning, Libra. Find
if onlyfleetingly,to hearthe
latest chit chat. the right woman. If you are already in a relationship,
move it up to the next level of intimacy. Do I hear
wedding bells?
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is
theauthorofHerscopes: It is possible to effect meaningful change in your life.
But you can't do it by yoursel£ And as luck would have
A GuidetoAstrology
it,
you won't be alone no matter how hard you try. Not
for Lesbians
(Simon&
only do you draw a crowd wherever you go, you also
Schuster)
(tinyurl.com/HerScopes).
Nowavailableasan ebook.
connect on a powerful level with certain admirers.
20
I curve
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
You are much more efficient than usual at work. And
while this is not the most exciting activity for June, it
will become a valuable time saver for you throughout
the summer months. You can even impress a certain
co,worker. Just think of all of those long lunches the
two of you will enjoy in July.
Capricorn(Dec.23-Jan. 20)
Fun is on your "to do" list this June. Find ways of
enlivening your life whether it is creating your
personal masterpiece or tossing a big bash that will
have your social world talking for months. Let your
imagination soar. You could also show how creative
you are with a special person. Why seek a crowd
when you can enjoy an appreciative audience of oner
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Handle any festering family issues this June and see
if you can improve relationships with even your most
difficult relatives. Then make your home the center of
activities for friendly fun and frolic. Anything you plan
or do will deliver luck and romance. Everything, that
is, except putting in new shelving in the basement.
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Not only can you envision the perfect sales pitch for
whatever you are selling,you can also deliver the message
with your certain special savoirfaire. Figure out what
you want and then just ask for it. You will get it-and
more. But don't be shy and procrastinate. Too, too
soon this splashy charm will evaporate.
Aries(March21-April 20)
Your intuition is not on target this June. Fortunately,
you don't really need to use it all that often. Just don't
react to anything unless it is based in reality. A not,
so,secret admirer drops the guessing game and makes
herself well known to you. Is it because you are so
sexy? Is it because you are incredibly generous? Why
ask why? Just enjoy.
Taurus(April21-May 21)
Gal pals are plotting and planning a surprise for you.
Act surprised when it unfolds. In the meantime,
don't wait for others. Get out in front of an adoring
crowd. Before you know it you will be glad handing
some remarkable ladies. Just watch where you put
those wandering hands, Taurus! ■
SCENE
GLAAD To Be Gay The GLAAD Awards are a welcome reminder
of our increasing visibility in mainstream culture.
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The 22nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in Los
Angeles was one of the most star~studded events of the
year. Among the many gay and gay~allied celebrities who
joined in the festivities with the Gay & Lesbian Alliance
Against Defamation (GLAAD) were Dolly Parton, Allison
Janney, Melissa Etheridge, Kirsten Dunst, Amber Heard
and Chaz Bono, who announced GLAAD's 'J\mplify
Your Voice!" public service announcement campaign to
combat the bullying of LGBT youth. Country music icon
Dolly Parton presented the Stephen F. Kolzak Award to
Robert Greenblatt whose career as a television executive
has resulted in gay~friendly shows such as Six Feet Under,
Queer as Folk, The L Word and United States of Tara. Sean
Hayes presented the Vanguard Award to Emmy and Tony
Award~winning entertainer Kristin Chenoweth, who
had publicly challenged a Newsweek article that wrongly
asserted gay actors cannot play straight roles. Other awards
went to TV favorites Glee,Modern Family,ProjectRunway
and the film I Love You Phillip Morris. The evening was
hosted by Amy Poehler and Rashida Jones from Parks
and Recreation.The GLAAD Media Awards honor media
for fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the
LGBT community and the issues affecting their lives. The
Awards also fund GLAAD's ongoing efforts to amplify
the stories of ordinary LG BT folks across the country
and the ongoing fight for full equality. (glaad.org)■
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June 2011
I 21
The Lezzie Look
Can I love the ladies and fashion?
By Lipstick and Dipstick
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I'm a mess right now because I think I'm a
lesbian and I don't know what to do. Here's the full story: Last year, I
started watching RuPaul's Drag Race. I was oddly turned on by the fact
that all the contestants looked like women, but at the time I thought
nothing of it, because they were actually men. As the year progressed,
I found myself attracted to real women, but ones I didn't know, like on
TV (Hello, Jennifer Lopez!). This revelation has led to me to do poorly in
school and gain some weight because I didn't know who to talk to about
my sexuality. My parents say they love me unconditionally, but they
occasionally say things like "Quit being such a fag" or "You're so gay,"
so I don't know if I can count on their support. My other concern is that
the only lesbian I know has really poor hygiene, dresses like a man and
always smells bad. If I'm a lesbian, will I have to be like that? Because I
love fashion and makeup and stuff. -Konfused in Kansas
Dipstick:[Skimming the Lesbian Handbook]
No, there is nothing in here that says you must
stink or forgo fashion to be a lesbian. Dressing
in men's clothes is optional, but please be dapper
if you do so. Also, remember: Armpit, leg and
pubic hair is optional.
Lipstick:
If those things were true, Kansas, and
I had to be a Fozzie Bear to be a dyke, I'd probably be married to my high school boyfriend
and self medicating with Xanax by now. This
lezzie can't stand-wait
no, abhors-bad
hygiene. It's an absolute deal breaker.
Dipstick:
I agree. A tuft of hair here and there
is one thing, but a stank is another. We must
always shower, Kansas, not just to remove the
bicycle grease from under our fingernails, but
because we'll never get chicks like Jennifer
Lopez if we reek. Contrary to what you've
witnessed, dykes love fashion, too, even if we
get our ideas from GQ instead of Vogue.
Lipstick:Hear, hear! Let those preconceived
notions about being a lesbian swirl down the
drain with the bath water, Kansas, because the
only rule you should abide by after coming out
is: Be yoursel£ If you love fashion, strut down
the catwalk. If you love makeup, start your
own line of eye shadow. Once you meet other
dykes, you'll realize we are all different shapes
and colors-and,
apparently, emit different
odors. Lipstick prefers lavender.
good advice for you: Tell your girlfriend how
you're feeling right away, before you pursue
this. She may rage. She may cry. She may leave
you. But you must take the high road here.
Don't cheat. Be forthcoming and transparent.
For her sake and for all the lesbians who've
been burned by this phallic fire before now.
Consider it an energetic token of redemption.
Even though the heart wants what it wants,
six years is a long time and she deserves to
know why you've been so absent.
Dipstick:This has happened to, like, three
people I know recently. Take Charli, one of
the butchest lesbians I know. Last I saw her,
DearLipstickand Dipstick:I am in my 30s and she was growing her hair out and had some
I haveneverhadsexwitha guybefore.I havea pony-tailed, pleat-panted, Hawaiian-shirted
girlfriend
of sixyearsandI amfantasizing
about dude on her arm. It really makes me think
havingsex with men.I needhelp!-Petra the that sexuality is more fluid than we Kinsey
Six lesbians like to admit. How else can we
PenisPiner
explain straight women coming out in their
Lipstick:Holy latent-oly, yes you do. While I 50s; bisexual teens dating boys, girls, whatdon't have tips on how you can bag your first ever; hard-core dykes dating dudes after years
boner (did I just type that?), I do have some of running a lesbian separatist camp? What
22
I curve
~
a:
if:
w
~
~
Lipstick & Dipstick ADVICE
song about! Nah, it couldn't be you-I've
met lots of dykes who roll this way. From
Lipstick's vantage point, most seem to
have abandonment issues. How was your
childhood? I think, besides the baggage you
might be carrying from your formative years,
what you may lack is true intention. When
DearLipstickandDipstick:I justbrokeupwith you dream about the future with each woman,
my girlfriendof almosta year.Beforeher,I had do you really intend it to come true? Or are
anothergirlfriend
forthreeyears.Andbeforeher, you already visualizing the end and then self~
I datedanotherwomanfor two.It alwaysturns sabotaging the rest of your time with each
outthe same:Wetalk aboutthe future,our life partner? While I do believe it's hard to find
together,and I'm into that for a while. But forever true love, I don't think that's what's
eventuallyI getboredandbreakupwiththem, going on here-that
you haven't yet found
leavingthemwith a big questionmark above "the one:' I believe it's deeper than that. Spend
their heads.Nowto my question:
Whydo I do some money on a therapist, and, until you
this to thesepoorwomen,and howdo I stop? tease out the issue here, stop making promises
-Bernadette the Bruiser
in the dark.
you need right now, Petra, is some sympathy,
and I doubt you're going to get that from your
girlfriend. Lipstick is right about one thing:
This is a lot to sort out-your identity, your
relationship, condom sizes-all the ins and
outs, so to speak.
Lipstick:Heartbreaki dreammaka; love taki
So, you're the one Pat Benatar wrote the
Dipstick:
Oh, so you're now a psychotherapist,
Lipstick? Analyzing this girl's childhood?
lliwles
I think the real issue here is not her absent
father, domineering mother or supposed
abandonment. It has nothing to do with
that new~age mumbo jumbo about intention
and visualization, either. Rather, what this
is about is, lesbians tend to go into every
relationship convinced that it's going to last
forever when, really, it usually plays itself out
in three months. Listen, ladies, every good
lay is not your soul mate. The next pretty
girl you meet, instead of visualizing, goal
setting, burning candles and meditating, get
to know her. Don't try to make her into "the
one:' Instead of following the advice of some
overpaid guru or celebrity author, remember
what works best for millions of people in
recovery: Take it one date at a time. ■
Tune in to curvemag.com/lipstickanddipstic
to watchthe The Lipstick& DipstickShow.
Or write to tv@lipstickdipstick.com.
roo~op (88:>
t-JCI JLPdrty
the biggest pride event for women
ADVICE Relationships
Long Distance Lovin' The Setup Squad's love guru Meredith Schlosser explains
how to survive and thrive in a cross-country romance. By Merryn Johns
According to a 2005 study, 3.5 million U.S.
married couples were in long distance rela~
tionships, approximately 4.5 million college
couples were in non~marital long distance
relationships (LDRs), and who knows how
many separated lesbian couples are languishing
across the nation? While absence makes the
heart grow fonder, it can also put love to the
test. Meredith Schlosser, from Logo TV's
new dating reality show The Setup Squad of~
fers her advice-and firsthand experienceon how to make an LOR work. Schlosser,
26, whose day job is vice president of
sales at Prime Real Estate New York
City, is in a long~term, long~distance
relationship with Randi Wishnow, 31,
president of Bailey Blue Clothing.
Whatqualifiesyouto giverelationship
advice?
I didn't grow up saying,
"I want to be a dating
coach;' but work~
ing with people
and giving advice
about love and rela~
tionships has always
been a passion of mine.
When the market crashed I
started working for an exclusive
fitness club as a membership sales
associate and as I was evaluating
members for training programs
we'd always end up talking about
their
personal
relationships.
People felt comfortable with me. I
started keeping mental notes and
slowly but surely I was matching
couples up.
Howdidyoubecomeinvolved
with
TheSetupSquad?
I met Renee [owner of Wings
Inc.] through a friend and started
working with her company on
the side. The production com~
pany, Leftfield Pictures, found
out about her company and
wanted to do a show on it. I
ended up interviewing with
24
I curve
the producers and the rest is history.
Whatwastheauditionprocess
like?
A lot of fun, they didn't put me through any
hard drills. They just wanted to know my
perception on dating and how I would help
people become "better" daters. They wanted
my advice as a lesbian on how to get into and
stay in a successful relationship.
Ofthefourteammembers
in TheSetupSquad,
youseemthe mostenigmatic.Whatqualities
doyoubringto theteam?
Positive energy and the ability to
relate to every situation. I cater
differently to each client. I make
it fun for them and help them
understand themselves better
and not ridicule them for what
they're doing wrong. I reassure
my clients and help them re~
alize that dating really isn't
that bad-they just need
to learn how to love
themselves and the rest
will fall into place.
Howdidyoumeetyour
girlfriend,
Randi?
Absolute fate and I
owe it all to curve
Personals! I was online
looking for women and
Randi-[who
was] in a
relationship-was
look~
ing for women with her
best friend who was single.
I started talking to her
friend but nothing came of
it romantically and we ended
up staying in touch. From the
moment I saw a picture of
Randi I thought, Now that
woman is my type! About a
year passed [and] the friend
told me that Randi broke up
with her girlfriend and she
was coming to New York on
business and that she wanted
to meet me. We met for drinks
and the chemistry was abso~
lutely magnetic.
You'rea nativeNew Yorker;Randiownsher
company
in L.A.Distance
wasanobstacle
from
thebeginning
yetyouwentahead.Why?
When I met Randi, honestly, nothing else
mattered. I was so attracted to her physically
and our chemistry was insane. We were having
fun, going with the flow and having such a
great time together. Obviously, as time went
on and we decided to become exclusive, we've
had more hurdles to overcome.
Onceyoudecidedthiswasa relationship,
how
didyouhandlethedistance?
Communication was the most important
factor. We used Skype all the time and would
talk on the phone as much as possible. We
were very considerate of one another's feelings
and made sure the other felt comfortable at
all times.
Howmuchfacetimedoyouhavepermonth?
We average about two weeks together a
month. Sometimes more depending on the
month and our work schedules. Randi is
in New York for at least 10 days out of the
month and I go to L.A. at least once a month
for a few days. We have never gone more than
three weeks without seeing each other in the
one and a half years we've been together.
Hasit becomeeasierovertime?
It's harder in the sense that I'm so in love
with her and a day without her is too much,
and easier in the way that I know her love
for me is unconditional and we both want
to be together forever. We count down until
the next time we're going to see each other
and always have trips planned together so we
have something to look forward to.
Howoftendoyoucommunicate
in a day?
We leave Skype on all day and all night. We
speak on the phone every morning, during
the day at least once quickly while we're at
work and Skype every single night before
we go to bed. We've pretty much spoken
every day since we met. We even spoke
every day when I was in Korea for my
brother's wedding. We still managed to talk
every day even with the extreme time dif~ ~
ference. We never go to bed without telling ~
each other we love each other. Even if we ~
have a disagreement we make sure to never ~w
ADVICE Relationships
go to bed angry. That's number one on the
list of rules.
Haveyoueverthought,Thisis toohard?There
areotherwomenoutthereandthey'relocal.
If I never thought "this is just too hard" I
wouldn't be human. When I look Randi in
the eyes while she's holding me and making
me laugh until I almost pee in my pants is
when I could tell you: No, it will never be
too hard. Randi has taught me how to love
myself unconditionally and has really shown
me that being in love isn't a fairy tale. I'm not
trying to tell you our relationship is perfect
and a fairy appears to sprinkle love dust on
us. We definitely have our own set of issues
that come up that we work on. We made an
agreement that our love is forever and the
good times outweigh the bad and splitting
up will never be an option.
Areyouworriedthattheglossmightwearoffif
youactuallylivedtogether?
Having obstacles to deal with once we live
together has crossed our minds and we've
talked about it. The anxiety we've had about
any type of gloss wearing off is the same
type of anxiety any couple has before they
move in together, even if they live in the
same city.
Howdoyouhandlea crisiswhenapart?
We physically try to be there as much as
26
I curve
possible. When I had a cyst taken out of my
breast last year Randi flew to New York to
be with me and take care of me. When her
grandmother passed away I booked a flight
to LA. the minute I got the phone call.
Obviously, it's not always that easy but we
bend a lot for each other as much as we're
able to. For situations that have to do with
work or family we talk to each other and we
get the other person through it. We prefer
to Skype for those type of situations so we
can feel like we're really together.
Do you fight and how do you
reconcile?
We definitely have fought and
I'm sure we'll have other fights.
Now we know how to handle
each other-good
communi~
cation and no crap. We have
promised each other that if
something annoys us or makes
us uncomfortable we need to
speak to each other about it first
and deal with it and not run off
and get everyone else's opinion.
Randidoesn'twantto leaveL.A.
andyoudon'twantto leaveN.V.C.
If beinga coupleis important,
whywon'toneof youbudge?
Randi owns a company that is
growing at a tremendous speed and I have an
active career at Wings Inc. and in real estate
that I'm very passionate about. All we want
to do is be together all the time but at this
point in our lives we need to be able to grow
our businesses and create more financial
independence for ourselves before we can
make a permanent move. Right now, we're
making the best of the cards we're dealt. We
won't be living like this forever I can assure
you of that. (logotv.com/shows/setup_squad/
seriesJhtml)■
10 Tips For a Successful Long-Distance Relationship
1 Tellthe personyoulove
them,morning,afternoon
andnight
5 Getto knowthe people
that areimportantto
them,especiallyfamily
2 Skypeas much
as possible
6 Leavelovenotesor
poemsin hiddenplaces
aroundtheir homebefore
youleavesotheyhave
somethingto lookat and
thinkof you
3 Sendflowers,cards,
smallgifts-surprise
them
4 Communicate
effectivelyandlisten.Be
honestanddirectabout
everythingyou'refeeling
7 Alwayshaveanother
trip plannedbefore
youleave
8 Tryto betogetheras
muchas possibleand
makesurethetime you
spendtogetheris quality
time.Havea lot of sex
whileyou'reat it
9 Alwaysbetherefor
thememotionallyeven
if youcan't betherefor
themphysically
10 Talkaboutyour
futuretogether
::,;:
a:
0
uw
0
z
0
(/)
'."3
POLITICS
Not Over the Rainbow
Pride is more important today than ever. By Victoria A. Brownworth
Last June, I was asked in an interview: Isn't
queer Pride over? Aren't we living in a post,
Pride world?
In a word, no. The 21st century is definitely
post,modern in most Western countries, but
just as the election of a biracial president
in America didn't end racism, the fact that
queers have been mainstreamed does not
make Pride irrelevant.
Why is Pride still necessary? The reasons
are myriad: Because homophobia still runs
rampant. Because so many of us are still full of
self,loathing to the point of being depressed
and substance abusing and even suicidal.
Because LGBT teens are being bullied in
schools all over the country. Because the U.S.
Supreme Court stood up for Rev. Fred Phelps
and his Westboro Church fanatics and their
virulently anti,queer slurs in an 8, 1 deci,
sion in March. Because a group of lesbians
were set upon and assaulted for kissing in
public on Valentine's Day in both Peru and
Beijing. Because Human Rights Watch has
made Iran one of their top nations to watch
due to use of the death penalty against openly
lesbian and gay people. Because Don't Ask,
Don't Tell is still in effect and still prevents
American lesbians and gay men from serving
in the military openly. (Even though Congress
voted to rescind DADT in January, the law
does not actually get rescinded until 60 days
after the President and Joint Chiefs of Staff
agree that the troops can adjust, especially
in wartime).
We need Pride because the Defense of
Marriage Act is still in effect and marriage
equality still out of reach. We need Pride
because lesbians are being sexually harassed
at some of the nation's most prestigious
~ colleges, like Yale. We need Pride because
I
even the President himself has revealed his
~o bigotry in the marriage equality fight, noting
~ that he doesn't"believe" in same,sex marriageffi he has since said his beliefs on the subject are
~ "evolving:
~
Any one of these issues alone makes Pride
~ essential. We are still fighting for our lives, no
matter where we live, how old we are, what
race, gender or class we are.
Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" is a veritable
anthem to Pride, but how many teens-or
adults, for that matter-listening
to its
raucous lyrics actually feel them, believe that
we are indeed "born this way"? How many of
us actually believe that being who we are is
really OK, especially when so many laws say
otherwise and so many political and religious
leaders declare we are an abomination?
The fact is, Rev. Fred Phelps and his big,
oted little church speak what many other's
silently think: The placards that read "God
Hates Fags" reflect an internalized belief
many queers themselves believe. It's certainly
a sentiment many non,queers believe. And
those beliefs inform the national and inter,
national discourse, whether we want them to
or not.
How much of a difference is there between
President Obama saying he doesn't believe in
same,sex marriage and President Ahmadinejad
of Iran saying there are no queers in that
country? Aren't both men saying that queers
don't really have a right to exist as we are? Or at
least not equally with them?
How many parents in America and else,
where have turned their backs on their queer
children? Mine did. My wife's did. I was
expelled from my high school for being a
lesbian. I was denied my first apartment
because I was a lesbian. I was fired from
several jobs when I was outed as a lesbian.
Like so many other minorities, I was forced
into activism because I was denied equal rights.
Like the lyrics in Gaga's song, I believe I was
born this way. Like her, I don't believe God
makes mistakes. So my Pride comes from
that-knowing
that this is who I am, just as
it's who you are. And it's OK. In fact, it's good.
I'm seriously proud of who I am. Proud of
fighting for equal rights for my people and all
people. Proud of fighting for women's lives,
queer lives, the lives of the poor and suffering.
The question isn't if we still need Pride. We
do. The real question is whether we believe
in Pride.
Have we embraced and internalized
Pride? Are we able to believe Gaga's lyrics,
or our own banners and buttons? Or are we
still unsure of whether we deserve the same
rights as everyone else, the same protections
as everyone else, the same life as everyone
else? Until we can answer that question with
certainty, Pride is something we definitely
need, but not necessarily something we have
learned to accept. ■
June 2011
I 27
LAUGH
TRACK
Pride, Her Way
Comedy legend Kate Clinton shares her perspective. By Merryn Johns.
Kate Clinton has seen it all. With a career
spanning three decades she's been making
us laugh through eight presidential inaugu~
rations-and
the embattled advancements
of the LGBT community. For her always~
inspiring comedy and advocacy work she's been
awarded by the National Gay and Lesbian
Task Force, Lambda Legal Defense and
Education Fund, SAGE, as well as receiving
a GLAAD Media Pioneer Award. So who
better to wax humorously about the meaning
of Pride than the ever~popular, highly articu~
late Gay Pride grand marsh all herself?
Whatwasyourfirst Prideeventanddidyoua)
chant,"We'rehere,we'requeer
..." b) gotopless
withDykeson Bikes,or c) hopenoonespotted
youat themarch?
My favorite was the first N.Y.C. Dyke March
chant: "We're dykes. Don't touch us. We'll
hurt you:' Although at first I found it off~
putting, it became useful in big box stores
when I couldn't get service. I'd chant it a few
times and there would be an announcement,
"Customer care representative to Aisle 5. Now:'
Doyouwearrainbowcolors?
No. I had a bumper sticker that said, "Swallow
a prism. Shit a rainbow:'
Whatdoyoureallythinkoftherainbowflag?
except during TV dicker fights. I do the bar~
I like its cheery LGBT nationalism, especially becuing, I should get the dicker-of almost 23
if it says "Peace'' on it.
years. We're the marriage of comedy and trag~
If youwerea babydyketoday,whatwouldyou edy.And I'm not telling which is which.Turns
out we're the stable couple in our families.
looklikeandhowwouldyouidentify?
Euro~butch and it would be all about the Butyou'vesaidyoudon'twantto marryher.Are
suits, vests, ties, fedoras and a pretty lady on the restof us blowingthe marriagedebateout
of proportion?
my arm.
In 1997 you were featuredin the film Pride Heck, no. It has activated LGBT people and
Divide.Has the gap betweengay men and our allies. We support and have worked for
lesbiansnarrowedwhenit comesto beingout, the freedom to marry. And not to marry. It's
not a choice we want to make. And we could
fabulous
orachieving
equalrights?
My LGBT generation swings between sepa~ elope tomorrow.
ratism and collaboration. I'm cheered by the Whydo lesbiansget stuckon issuesof repreMostof usderidedTheL Wordwhen
younger LGBT generation, which seems sentation?
it firstairedandit'snowlesbianlore.
almost effortlessly co~gendered.
YouandUrvashi
Vaidhavespent22yearstogether. The gals bitched about The Kids Are All Right,
Youmustfeelprideaboutthat.
too. I'm happy we have things to fuss about. It
We're proud of and grateful for our loveused to be, "Lily Tomlin wore purple, discuss:'
2s
I curve
And we would for five years, until something
vaguely lesbian happened in the media again. I
hope the next big trend is Urban Lesbian Swat
Teams that terrorize legislators who prey on
poor women and children. I've designed the
uniforms if you'd like to see.
If youhadtocreatea PSAto promote
the"lesbian
lifestyle,"
whatistheonethingyou'dsharewith
thewholeworld?
The sex is divine. Try it. You'll like it.
ChristopherHitchensfamouslyargued that
womenaren'tfunny.Yourresponse?
As my mother would advise, "Do not even
dignify that statement with a response:' Jerk.
Howareyoucelebrating
Pridethisyear?
I'm the Gland Marshall in the 30th Noho, ffi
('.)
Mass. Pride Parade. It's an amends for joking 00
a:
for 30 years that Northampton should be 0
~
0
called "Critical Mass:' (kateclinton.com)
■
Lezzie
L.A.:
Whitney
(clockwise
from left),
Francine,
Romi,
Sajdah,
Claire,
Kacy
and
Cori
Meet the hot,
more diverse and
oh-so-scandalous
new cast of
The Real L Word.
By Rachel Shatto
30
I curve
ast year saw the premiere of The Real L Word, the docu-series helmed by The L
Word creator Ilene Chaiken. Following the lives of six out and proud lesbian Angelinos, it promised to be
a game changer: Real stories about real lesbians living their real lesbian lives-on
premium, no-holds-
barred cable, no less. It was a winning combination; after all, who knows drama better than dykes? But
despite its compelling concept and all the potential in the world, the show met with a divided audience.
Many loved the series for boldly focusing 100 percent on the lives of lesbians, while others struggled to
connect with the disparate story lines and were (vocally) disappointed by what they perceived to be a lack
of diversity. In the end, what could have been a groundbreaking, paradigm-shifting lesbian extravaganza
turned out to be yet another somewhat-entertaining reality show.
Fortunately, Showtime execs realized what we knew all
along: They had a series with enormous potential on their
hands-it just needed a little shaking up. Their answer was
to break away from individualized story lines and focus on
a cast of women whose lives intersect. For the sophomore
season, friends, ex-girlfriends and friends-of-friends come
together to form the cast. "By the end of season one, all of
their stories had overlapped and ... we sort of realized that
was a really rich area when we saw them interacting. This
season ... the stories are much more interwoven. I think it's
going to be a more dynamic season for that;' says executive
producer and Magical Elves cofounder Jane Lipsitz.
Lipsitz also explains that the first go-round was an educational experience, and the lessons learned have created a
new agenda for the series that will change the direction. "I
think what we learned from season one is that we did want
to tell a more emotionally raw story this season and that
also we wanted to do a series that really did feel authentically Showtime;' she says. "That's not just about having
more sex throughout the season-and
there is more sex
throughout the season-but
also in terms of more documentary storytelling style and pushing the boundaries of
what they're talking about in interviews and in scene. I'm
really proud of this season. I really feel like we took it to a
whole new level:'
But the most striking difference for returning viewers is
the cast. Of the six original women, only Whitney Mixter,
the wave-making and often scandalous heartbreaker who
brought the drama, sexiness and (most of all) realness that
audiences crave, is returning for season two. Lipsitz explains,
"Whitney was what we call a 'story machine: She just
drove the entire season. She's incredibly well-spoken and
she definitely represented the direction we wanted to go in
this season because she was someone who was emotionally
honest and made herself vulnerable. I'm sure the rest of the
cast wasn't surprised because she definitely emerged as a
big star last season. We're thankful for [the season one] cast
and they did an amazingjob and I enjoyed working with all
of them. But I just think there was a change in the direction
of the show that it just made sense that Whitney was the
only person that was going to come back:'
Queer women of color are also a prominent part of the
mix this season. "There was some backlash about that last
season and I think, as producers, you want to give viewers
that they would like to see. I think we listened to that and
we addressed it. No matter what, we're not going to cast
stereotypes. The diversity was something that was a priority
but it's a diversity that comes with amazing women who
have amazing stories to tell;' says Lipsitz.
With a sexy, new, openly queer cast, and a new, more
traditional reality TV format, season two is shaping up
to be more of what audiences have been craving: Sexy,
emotionally-satisfying lesbian drama. So, fire up those
DVRs, ladies.
THE VETERAN VIXEN
For lady-juggling special effects artist, Whitney Mixter, the
change in cast was bittersweet. "Season one I made a new
family. I'm still incredibly close with those girls, I love them
to death, I think they had a lot to bring to the show;' she
says. "I think in season two you're going to see it's a little
more fast-paced and I think that there's a lot of dynamic,
really important stories that are being told:' She promises
it's not the last you'll see of her Real L Word alumni. "You'll
see some of the past characters pop up now and again
because they are my friends:'
Last season, Mixter's arc primarily followed her lesbian
lothario ways. We watched her seduce, smooth talk and
creamed-corn wrestle her way through three simultaneous
relationships, earning her comparisons to The L Word's
Shane-a reputation Mixter is well aware 0£ "I think last
season I was definitely portrayed as the heartbreaker ... I
was single and I was trying to find out what I was ready
for. I think that this season you'll see more growth [but] I
definitely revert back to old ways sometimes:'
However, Mixter promises that this time we're going
to see another side, too, specifically her business savvy.
She recently broadened her career horizons with two new
June 2011
I 31
endeavors: A monthly girls' night, which has been hugely
successful, and she has also embarked on an eco-friendly
clothing line, Natural Artifacts.
But that's not to say it's all work and no play for Mixter,
who promises she isn't totally reformed."You'll definitely see
a lot of my love life but I do learn a lot more about who I am
as a person, outside of my love life;' she says, teasing. "But
have no fear, there's definitely a lot oflove life goin' on:'
But how much will the audience be privy to? Last season,
in one of the series' most talked about moments, Mixter
chose to open up her bedroom to the cameras. ''I've been
asked several times if I regret being so graphically sexual on
camera in season one, and my response is this: Would you
be asking me if I regretted it if I was a man? Because I'm
going to go ahead and bet that you wouldn't;' says Mixter,
adding, "I think it's a very important issue. It's Showtime, it
allows us the ability to show all aspects of our lives and that
is very much a part of my life: My sex life.
"I am a woman, I am a lesbian and if sex happens and if
I am with a partner who is as comfortable as I am with my
body and with being sexual, then I'm wanting to open up
that door to the public because I don't find it gratuitous, I
find it realistic and I think it's an important story to tell:'
THE REAL ROMI
Along with Mixter, one of the breakout stars of the first
season was Romi Klinger. A then-supporting character,
Klinger guaranteed her notoriety as the woman Mixter got
hot and heavy with on camera. For Klinger this actually
made getting in front of the camera a second time easier.
"I let my guard down with season one and I dearly had
sex on television, and I've been through a lot with the
cameras. I think that when I went into season two it wasfor me probably more than anyone else-very easy to go
there again because it wasn't the end of the world doing
that;' Klinger says. "I didn't end my life because I had sex
on camera or I cried on camera. People love me, they hate,
whatever it is, it is who I am. I do have sex, I am a lesbian I
do have emotions, I cry, I make mistakes and I'm not afraid
to show everybody that:'
Having caught audiences' attentions (and libidos), it's of
little surprise that this time around she's been added as a
full-time cast member. It's an opportunity Klinger relishes
if only to share another side of herself with audiences. "I
didn't have the opportunity to really be 100 percent me. I
was one of Whitney's girlfriends;' she says."So, when they
offered me the opportunity to do this, of course I was
excited and jumped onto it because there's a lot more to
who I am ... I'm a friend, I'm a daughter, I'm a lesbian, I'm
all these things:'
Last season left off with Klinger and one of Mixter's other
love interests, Sara, turning the tables on the heartbreaker
by hooking up in Palm Springs. But according to Klinger,
little came of their Dinah Shore weekend romance. 'i\.fter
32
I curve
season one, [Sara and I] became almost like sisters, we were
very, very dose. We did not have a sexual relationship-we
have we hooked up and was there maybe sex involved at
one point? Yes. But did me and Sara date? No;' she says.
This season, Klinger is making some significant changes,
saying goodbye to her party girl ways. "Through the show I
pretty much decided to do a really big change in my life and
kind of sober up and change the direction that my life had
been going in;' Klinger says. She's also in a new relationship
with her live-in girlfriend, Kelsey. However, she revealed
that her decision to make significant changes in her lifestyle
is putting strain on that relationship. "She's a young girl
who loves me very much and I think, honestly, at the time
when we got together I was in a place that wasn't the best
for a long relationship and what was not supposed to be a
serious relationship turned into one;' she says.
LESBIAN LOVE TRIANGLE
New York entrepreneur Claire Moseley admits that her
decision to move to L.A. was equal parts professional
and personal, pursuing closure with fellow cast member
Francine Beppu. "I moved out there for my career and I
moved out there for the fact that I'd been in New York
for eight years and it was just something that I'd always
wanted to do and I felt the time was now," she says.
"To say Francine wasn't a factor would be a lie, but she
definitely wasn't the only factor:'
The former associate producer at Calvin Klein is now
lending her fashion savvy to her new enterprise, AninitiaL
com, an online lesbian lifestyle and fashion magazine. In
addition to the complications of getting a publication off
the ground while trying to sort through the baggage with
an ex is Vivian, the girlfriend Moseley left in N.Y.C.-and
with whom she hasn't quite broken it off yet.
While it might be easy to judge Moseley for a"having her
cake and eating it, too" approach, anyone who has ever let
"the one'' slip away is sure to empathize. "There's so much
love in that relationship [with Francine]. Some people will
relate to it and see themselves in it and I think other people
might think that I was a bit selfish in trying to figure out
things with an ex while still kind of having a current girlfriend:' Moseley says. "I think it can go two ways ... I know
for me it was a very difficult decision to move out to L.A.
but in the end I'm happy I did:'
Still, it's never too early to pick out your"Team Francine"
or"Team Vivian'' tee.
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
Newcomer Francine Beppu's story this season is one of
transformation. "I feel a lot more comfortable in my own
skin;' she says. "I wasn't really out to everyone, especially
work wise:'
A business executive with NamiWave, Beppu moved
from New York to Los Angeles three years ago-leaving
behind her first love, Moseley-to begin her business (a
Red Box competitor popular in Hawaii and gaining ground
in L.A.) However, when the season begins, her love life
becomes increasingly complicated when Moseley moves to
L.A. to rekindle the romance. "It was very intense, we loved
each other a lot;' Beppu says of the relationship she moved
to L.A. to escape. "But it was so much drama and we were
very young back then. When I heard she was moving out
here it gave me a lot of anxiety. I didn't know what to expect
at all. It's really interesting to see what happens over the
course of the season:'
In addition to dealing with ex drama, Beppu is grappling
with the decision to finally come out to her family. 'Tm
Japanese, my mother is from Japan and my father is third
generation from Hawaii ... ! think being raised with Asian
parents you're always being told what to do, you always
want to please other people and I was always so concerned
about how others perceive me or how my actions reflect
upon my family;' Beppu says. "But at the end of the day
I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin and I'm so
thankful to have this experience. If I can help one person, if
someone can relate to my story I think it's a great thing:'
BABY MAMA DRAMA
When the second season of The Real L Word was green lit,
there were a couple specific stories its producers wanted to
tell this time around. At the top of that list was following
the journey of a couple trying to start a family.
When Kacy and Cori Boccumini heard that The Real
L Word was casting, they knew they were the couple
Showtime was looking for. ''I'd gotten a Facebook message
from a dear friend ... He said, 'I found out that The Real
L Word is looking to cast a couple who's looking to start
the baby making process;" says Kacy. "So, I quickly sent an
email and said, This is us, this is how we met, and here's
some pictures. And that night I showed Cori the pictures
I sent and she did not like them, composed her own email
and sent her own pictures and they called us the next day;'
laughs Kacy.
"It's crazy. It was perfect timing;' adds Cori. "We kept
saying, OK, we're going to start trying in December and
we'd get a little scared and we'd push it off for a couple of
months and we jut kept pushing it back. I'm thankful for
the show because it kind of forced us to stop being pussies
and really get it together and start, because it's scary.
June 2011
I33
Straight people are lucky: They [can] just get drunk one
night and, barn, 'Oh, OK, moving on, we're going to have a
baby: With us there's too much planning, so it's very easy to
say let's wait another month or two:•
'J\nd it's not as cheap as bottle of wine;' jokes Kacy.
The couple has been together for five years and legally
married for two. Kacy and Cori are one of the 18,000 couples
that married in California during the brief window of time it
was legal in the state, prior to the passage of Prop. 8.
Now, like so many married couples, the Boccumini's are
eager to start their family and share their story. "It's really
important for us to show the world, 'Look at us, we're girls
and we are so madly in love and we want this child and this
family and we're just like everybody else;" says Cori.
"It's good to show other lesbians like, Hey, look this is
not easy. This is some hard shit;' adds Kacy.
Kacy is also excited about representing for the butches.
"One of the things I have a hard time with is there's never
a butch-I understand butch in Los Angeles is hair in a
ponytail, but there are butch girls;' she says. "You can tell
from a distance that I'm a lesbian, and not that that's my
entire identity, but it's important to me, that's just how I
choose to represent myself in larger society. I joke with my
friends that I'm going to be the butchest person to ever be
on television:'
NEW QUEER ON THE BLOCK
Newly out (and newly butch) Sajdah Golde eschewed her
straight privilege the day she met a woman who changed
her life. "I just met a girl, I met a hot girl, I don't know, she
redefined my happily ever after;' says Golde.
For Golde, discovering she was gay changed her life over~
34
I curve
night."Once I realized that I was a lesbian-because I didn't
know-I had to be true to myself and that was my first
priority to make sure that I was true to me;' she says."So, as
soon as I recognized it in me, I came out the next day:'
It was just the start of some major changes in Golde's
life, which included the East Coast gal moving to L.A.
Interestingly, one of her baby steps out of the closet was
watching the first season of The Real L Word. "The summer
before moving to L.A. one of my friends suggested it, just
so I'd know what bars to go to;' she recalls. "When I was
watching the first season I didn't know what it meant to
be a lesbian so I gained a lot of insight on how to be with
a woman-that
was new territory. But now that I'm very
well in the life, the story is quite different. Life is different
for a relationship between two African American females,
as opposed to someone of a different nationality, because
we have cultural differences:•
The self~professed "rebel with a cause" is also deeply
involved with LGBT politics. An organizer working
with Vote for Equality, the legal arm of the L.A. Gay and
Lesbian Center, Golde goes out and speaks with voters
who were not supportive of same~sex marriage. "LGBT
politics is probably the most important thing going on in
my life right now;• says Golde."It's like the modern day civil
rights movement. And as a direct beneficiary of two very
powerful movements, seeing that I am African American
and female, I feel like it's my job to give back at this time.
But it's cool, I'm from the East Coast, I'm new to L.A., so
I'm finding my way around. I'm also a new lesbian, so I'm
learning how to walk again, you know?
"The thing for me is, I still remember straight privilege.
I still remember what it felt like to be a straight woman
so I want the audience to know that 17 months later I'm
still the same person, and because I'm that same person,
every right or consideration I had before I switched teams I
should still have today;' says Golde.
BIGGER, BOLDER AND BUTCHIER
With a diverse, dynamic and intriguing new cast, plus a
format that lends itself better to drawing in new viewers,
the second season of The Real L Word is poised to finally
live up to the series' potential-to
fill the vacuum left by
The L Word and tell real, multifaceted stories about out,
proud, captivating queer women.
Lipsitz gives us an idea of what to expect: "It's a fantastic
ride. I think there's a lot of humor, there's a lot of heart, it's
super~sexy and there's a lot of drama:•
But perhaps Golde says it best: "They should expect a
good time. It's everything they had last year and more. A lot
of fun, a lot of love and I think this season is a tad bit more
thought provoking than last season. Last year was real, but
this time we're reallygetting real. Let's get into the real heart
of things, things that really matter-not that sex and rock
'n' roll aren't important!" ■
-
GLB
=t=T
GBT Pride month is here, which means parades,
panels, parties-and
politics. For me, Pride in San
Francisco is more than just fun. I was an organizer of
the Trans March for two years, and have performed
spoken word poetry at the pre-march event. Last
year was my first time marching with Dykes on
Bikes. It felt like a women's movement event, not
just a queer rights event, which is why so many
straight women like me feel empowered by attending.
I was born with chromosomal and anatomical diversity.
It's a misconception to compare people like me to the gay
male drag queens who host Pride events-my birth challenge and medical condition are not gender expression.
When I go to T -specific events, I see more genderqueer
and transgender people than I do people born intersex or
transsexual but I am still an ally. We have similar issues,
namely that the government withholds our civil rights.
At many Pride events this year, even in major cities, a
separate stage will be designated for the TS/TG (transsexual or transgender) performers-it
will be smaller and
in a less prominent location. Production and talent will be
considerably less well funded. Joe Ippolito, a leader in the
Philadelphia trans communities, tells curve that he doesn't
have much hope for where the T stands when it comes
to LGBT Pride. "Last year, at the Pride parade, the outof-touch owner of the Philadelphia Gay News stood up in
front of hundreds of people and asked how many 'gay and
lesbian" people were in the crowd, but failed to mention
the B or the T. I stood there, annoyed and shocked. To be
honest, carving out a place for the Tin LGB space continues
to be a struggle, and Pride month is no different:'
I agree with Ippolito that using "gay" to describe an
LGBT coalition misrepresents the medical condition
called transsexualism, and gay-washes transgenderism
36
I curve
Are we serious about the Tin LGBT,
or does T stand for "token"?
By Ashley Love
altogether. Tracie Jada O'Brien, a transsexual woman
from San Diego, also finds it hard to carve out a trans
space in her city. "Thank god we have Transgender Day
of Empowerment in San Diego and TransPride in Los
Angeles-the
rest is just naked hot gay guys and overthe-top drag queens, dykes on bikes and a sprinkle of
lesbians:'
But it's different in some cities, especially San Francisco.
"SF Pride is very supportive of trans communities;' says
Luis Gutierrez-Mock, an organizer of the SF Trans
March. "They've contributed to the Trans March since its
inception, waiving fees for items they provide us and
always making room for our activities in the Civic Center.
Last year, their executive director was a trans person of
color. Last year, they also placed trans people in the first
contingent after the official Pride floats:'
I've posted a link on Facebook asking what the T in
LGBT Pride means to people. Many women with firsthand knowledge of transsexualism responded, saying that
their medical condition was not something to really"party"
about. They were fed up with the LGBT community and
mainstream society for equating drag queens, transvestites and genderqueers with people who have their birth
challenge. Sharon Gaughan, the editor and cofounder of
TS-Si.org, wrote:"The Tin LGBT is irrelevant to me on
a daily basis. Speaking as someone who is formerly transsexual, the all-encompassing Transgender umbrella was a
hindrance during my transition and a continuing obstruction ... in the path toward securing full medical recognition
for the transsexual birth condition. The Transgender Tis
perceived as a part-time lifestyle choice. I am full-time,
medically corrected and immersed in my daily life. I do
not live in a transgender ghetto. Ifl choose to involve myself
in lesbian organizational activities, it is because I have an
affinity for same, not because there is any connection to sexual people, transgender people and people of color in
my medical history:'
those riots is a fraud.
Pride occurs in June to honor the Stonewall Riots of
Alyson Meiselman, a transsexual woman and attorney,
1969, which catapulted the modern LGBT movement tells curve, "I think that it is time the parades cease, and
any fanfare, costumes or extreme
into existence. It was transsexual and transgender women in their place-without
of color who initiated those riots: Sylvia Rivera, a trans~ behavior-we simply walk silently around the government
gender woman of color, is credited with "throwing the first buildings that house the president, the governors, legisla~
tors, state high courts and the Supreme Court with a single
heel:' They were "guilty" of wearing "gender inappropriate"
clothing, which is the excuse the police used to exercise message that reads"IfNot Now, When? If Not Now, Why
Not? We Want Our Civil & Human Rights!"
their prejudice with violence. The police were surprised
Celebrating and partying is great, but Meiselman's
when the people at this bar decided to fight back!
At first, Rivera became known as The Mother of sentiments also ring true. If we want our civil rights, we
Stonewall and in the initial Pride parades after the riots need to rise up and take them. Sylvia Rivera would feel
was honored as an icon, and continued to advocate for the same way. ■
LGBT equality, and for those who were disenfranchised
and homeless. But over time, Rivera was brushed aside
by gay and lesbian elitists who deemed TS/TG issues
too radical for their classist and assimilationist agenda.
After the gay establishment had finished using her to
gain publicity, to raise money, it abandoned her, and
she died impoverished. The lesbian separatist, "radical
feminist" community excluded Rivera from women's
Reporting
on the
.
conferences, and she was even physically escorted out
theT "commu . :~Penences
of the "T" in theLGBT
.
of them on numerous occasions. She was banned from
sex-and/orge;ie,-:;;;:;~~:~~mmunity
butan ::~::~~~:::~~;~~.~•~use
the New York Gay Center for publicly and aggres~
groups,not onecommuni
emgsaremarginalizedIt's
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sively asking those in charge to take better care of TS/
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site coinedit .~~~\a boxlabeledT,or,as
ejected from the same movement she had helped to
andmedicalneeds.It co andlazy.It robspeopleof theirindivi ransge~der
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found, her spirit remained bold and true, and shortly
stripawaythe rights f nfus~sthepublicandhasallowedth du~/_social,
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before she died she said, 'Tm tired of sitting on the
whoseheterosexual~A~encansborntranssexual
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uatema
an
A New York-based entrepreneur unveils her
unique Central American wedding .
•
___
air
While same~sex sexual activity has been legal
in Guatemala since 1871, this Central American republic
is yet to legally recognize same~sex marriage.
But this didn't stop Mariel Acevedo, 42,
andJincey Lumpkin, Esq., 31
from holding a lavish ceremony, and the
first gay wedding, in Acevedo's homeland.
38
I curve
he couple began dating back in 2008
after meeting online. "We had our first
date at Soho House in N.Y.C. the day
after Valentine's Day;' recalls Lumpkin.
The boutique hotel and private club also
became the place where she proposed a year
and half later. "I decided to surprise Mariel and throw her
a birthday party. I pretended we were having a quiet dinner
alone, but some of her best friends were waiting for us at
the club. Burning a hole in my pocket was the diamond ring
I bought at Tiffany. On the way to dinner my hands were
shaking and my heart was beating so fast. I was sure she
suspected something, but she had no idea:'
While Lumpkin and Acevedo had a civil wedding on
August 30, 2010 in Greenwich, Conn., their big wedding in
40
I curve
front of family and friends would be in Antigua, Guatemala
in February this year. "It was a huge deal for Mariel to go
back home and be so public. I'm really proud of her for
coming out in such a big way;' says Lumpkin.
The wedding took place in a private, walled Spanish
colonial garden with distant views of volcanoes. From
inside the garden with its lime and avocado trees, fountain
and large pavilion, the toll of 50 nearby church bells could be
heard. It was a romantic setting for an unusual ceremony.
Because they had already said vows in Connecticut, they
asked a friend to do an Inca ceremony called a despacho, or
offering to Pachamama (Mother Earth). "The shaman gave
different elements to our friends and family, and then she
put them into a big paper which she folded, blessed and
burned, so that the ashes float up to Mother Earth;' explains
Cf)
<(
~
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~
Neo-colonial romance
(clockwise from left):
the candlelit venue, the
happy couple dance,
guests at the reception
and the ceremony
~
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had never been a gay wedding in
"It
was
ahuge
deal
for there
Guatemala before;' says Lumpkin.
Mariel
togoback
toher "We just wanted everyone to drink a
ton of Ron Zacapa, the best rum in the
home
place
and
beso world,
made in Guatemala. We wanted
them
to
and then dance a lot;' says
public.
I'm
really
proud
of Acevedo.drink
And they did. The entertain~
her
forcoming
out
in ment consisted of a band, circus perfor~
Guatemalan folklore displays,
such
abigway," mances,
mariachi bands and fireworks.
Acevedo. The non~traditional (at least in
Western terms) theme extended to what
the brides wore: Acevedo chose a look
she describes as Napoleon crossed with
Burberry, complete with velvet slippers;
Lumpkin wore an ivory dress adorned
with hand beading and a cathedral train.
"I also wore a veil which had always been
a dream of mine since I was a little girl;'
she reveals.
Theatricality was key, with the wed~
ding going by the description of The Love Explosion
Extravaganza. And it was epic: 225 dose friends attended.
"Mariel kept adding to the list, because so many people
in Guatemala were excited and wanted to come, since
The couple is now looking forward
to a long honeymoon in Greece and beyond that, to "live
a happy, healthy life together and spend as much time
as possible with our two beautiful chihuahuas, Marilyn
Monroe and The Mama;' says Acevedo. ■
June 2011
I 41
what does pride
mean to you?
We asked you, and here's what you said. By Jillian Eugenios
In a time where lesbian visibility is growing, Pride is the perfect time to put aside the dyke drama,
pick up a rainbow boa and march with your crew, be it a rally or just a stroll around the neighborhood-with hands entwined. Bonus points if you do it while singing "Closer to Fine" or something by
Peaches at the top of your lungs. And after all the glitter settles (and the hangover fades) it's also a
great time for reflection. Did Pride resonate with you? Do we still need Pride? Or, with more lesbians
on TV, the news, and in office, are we "over it"? Since only you can really answer that, we hit the
streets and the web to find out what you think. What we learned is that it still takes courage to have
Pride, and that the definition of the word is more varied than the colors in a rainbow flag. What's
certain is that Pride is linked to confidence, love, self worth and fun. So this year, whatever you do,
make sure to get your gay on. It's your right. Happy Pride!
"Believing
inyourself."
-Tony Neill,34,Burlington,
Iowa
"Celebration!"-Melissa
Jimenez,
30,Monterey,
Calif.
"Beinga dailyambassador
oftheLGBT
community
within
thelargercommunity
oftheEarthbystriving
to live
impeccably
andbytreatingotherswithcompassion."
-Jennifer Walford
Vann,33, Gainesville,
Fla.
"Pride:
Collective
nounfora groupof
lesbians,
i.e.,asfora flockofgeese,it is
-Kate Buckland,
30,
a prideoflesbians."
Wamberal,
NewSouthWales,
Australia
"Knowing
thatyouarea beautiful,
loving
person
whoisfullyhumananddeserving
ofequalrights,
andlikeanyotherAmerican,
youdeserve
tobelovedand
celebrated."
-Morgan Cecelia
Bowen,
46, ShellBeach,Calif.
"Walking
downthestreet,holding
handswithmytwofavorite
girlsandnotfeelinglikeI'manydifferent
thanthemanwalking
downthestreetholding
handswithhiswifeanddaughter."
-Jennifer Sieber,
32,SanDiego,Calif.
•
•
•
:
•
•
•
:
••
•
:
••
•
:
••
•
:
:
"Beingableto
holdthehandof
theoneyoulove,
lookintohereyes
andtell heryou
loveherforthe
worldto hear,
knowandfeel."
-Lucy Leone
Cabrera,
44,New
Rochelle,
N.Y.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Tofeelequalandproudof yourself
as
a person,
andto showotherswhoare
scaredthatit'sOKto bewhoyouare.
You'reneveralone."-Stephanie Sarti,
23, Reading,
Penn.
June 2011
I 43
. "Everything!"
: -Eva Svedsen,
39,
•
: Copenhagen,
Denmark
••
•
••
••
•
••
••
••
••
•
••
••
•
••
•
•
••
•
:
••
•
•
••
•
44
"Beingproudof beinga lesbiananda mommy.Being
strongenoughto teachmy 17-year-olddaughterabout
acceptanceof others,no matterwhattheir beliefs,and
that acceptance
of othersis whatmakesyoubeautiful.
Weareall the sameno matterwhomwe love."
-Tina Trotter,
37,Manteca,Calif.
"Loving,
accepting
andcherishing
myself." :
•
-Lindsey Shingler,
27,KansasCity,Mo. •
"Pridebringsourcommunitytogetherto celebratewhat
is uniqueandexciting.It's a chanceto seeoldfriends,
meetnewpeoplefromall overthe worldandexperience
somethingamazing.It's the onetimeof the yearwhere
yougetto bewith othersjust likeyourselfandfeelfreeto
bewhatyouare."-Leanne Cornell,34,Ontario,Canada
"Beingme."-Victoria Gray,40,Auckland,NewZealand
"Prideis beingableto finallysay,'Youaredifferent
butthat'sa goodthing.'Prideis beingableto show
affection
to mygirljustlikethecoupleinfrontof us."
-Rebecca Lewis,32,Duncansville,
Penn.
I curve
•
"Pridemeansstanding
upforyour
rightto beauthentic
evenwhen
it's uncomfortable.
Thinkofyour
lesbianism
as something-like
mydarkskin-that youcan'thide
fromotherswhenit's inconvenient,
evendangerous
to beLGBT.
Pride
andcourage
areinextricably
intertwined."-Cole Thomas,
50,Hampton,
Va.
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Kl 1422
In South Africa, in the shadow of brutal murders,
lesbians show their Pride. By Lauren Barkume
A public demonstration of Pride is perhaps most important in places where being LGBT is
the ultimate transgression, and is punishable by death. Which is what makes these images of
the seventh annual Soweto Pride March, South Africa on September 25, 2010 so remarkable.
The march was held in the location of the brutal murders of two lesbians four years ago,
and the ultimate goal of Soweto Pride has become to ensure that lesbians in the township
no longer fall victim to such vicious homophobic attacks. Soweto Pride was initiated in
2004 by The Forum for the Empowerment of Women (FEW) as a political act to celebrate
and give visibility to all identities. Held annually, it includes a protest march through
the residential and business areas of Soweto and afterwards, community, religious and
political leaders are encouraged to address the crowd and denounce hate crimes. Political
and cultural programs, including workshops and exhibitions, celebrate the struggles and
victories of African lesbians. (few.org.za)
46lcurve
Pride and
bravery in
the streets
of Soweto,
South Africa
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June 2011 I 47
48
1
curve
frameline
grandsponsor
~
at&t
premiersponsors
SANFRANCISCO'S
char/esSCHWAB
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here the bois are
Callingall masculine queers! Experience a retreat that allows you to shed labels,
exami e assumptions and cultivate strengths. By Laniaya Alesia Hoofatt
A • le over a year ago, the very first group of Brown Boi
roject (BBP) leaders arrived at a large purple mansion
in Oakland, Cali£-an
auspicious beginning despite the
fact that three months earlier none of them had heard
about the organization, and it had no website. These
young leaders came from across the country, and from
the disparate fields of fashion, social justice, entertainment, academia, the culinary arts-even from the streets.
The Brown Boi Project is building an army, a very queer
and super-bad army, of young leaders who are poised to
change the world.
Founded in 2009, The Brown Boi Project encourages
leadership development and community organizing. It
brings people of color-masculine-of-center
women,
queer men, transmen, two-spirit people and straight
men-together in the same space to challenge assumptions
so I curve
and conventions, and to transgress the boundaries of masculinity. As a term, "masculine-of-center" recognizes "the
cultural breadth and depth of identity for lesbian/ queer
womyn who tilt toward the masculine side of the gender
scale;' explains Cole B. Cole, BBP founder and director,
who used her experiences working with straight men and
her research as a graduate student at the London School
of Economics to form the basis of the Brown Boi Project.
"The term includes a wide range of identities, such as
butch, stud, aggressive, tom, macha, boi, dom, etc:'
Positive representation is important for any cultural
group, but it is vital to the work of the Brown Boi Project,
whose mission is to break down the often negative perceptions that accompany an identification with masculinity.
BBP leaders are grouped into cohorts of 16 and selected
from a pool of applicants that has exceeded 100. "These
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leaders have so much to learn from each
other and in turn so much to share with
the broader world;' says Cole.
Enzi Tanner applied to the Brown Boi
Project because he wanted a meaningful
leadership development opportunity that
extended beyond the traditional Western models he had
experienced; one that was centered on his experience as a
person of color. He wanted an opportunity to engage in
conversation with queers of color and discuss the meaning
and true perception of masculinity within the community,
as a transman. "The biggest thing I learned from BBP was
ways of looking at my masculine privilege;' says Tanner,
"the realization that until I am willing to transform my
masculinity, those who are oppressed because of my
masculinity can never be liberated, myself included:'
Malachi Larrabee~Garza,
a BBP faculty member,
explains that each individual is selected for a specific
cohort. If they are selected, the Brown Boi Project covers
all their program expenses. Attendees just have to show
up-open
and ready to think about cultivating their
potential for leadership.
A good example of a young leader's openness to chal~
lenging assumptions is Jay~Marie Hill, a member of the
inaugural cohort, who was confronted with her masculinity
while living in other countries. "I visited South Africa in
the summer of 2009 and had the peculiar experience of
passing as a guy there about 50 percent of the time. The
trip was meant to be part of my research on a senior honors
thesis about theater, but it ultimately became about gender
and my relationship to it;' says Hill.
Originally, Hill thought of her masculinity only as part
of her athleticism but embraced it after traveling to South
Queer cohorts: Brown Boi
Project participants find a
deeper Pride in their masculinity
Africa and attending the BUTCH Voices
National Conference. Those two experi~
ences opened her eyes to masculinity in its many forms,
leaving her eager to learn more about what she now sees
as her inherent masculinity.
Hill believes that everything she learned from BBP has
equipped her and other Brown Bois to be trailblazers
because of their life experiences and unique perspectives
on the world. For example, she learned to embrace her
masculinity while climbing the ladder to success.
"BBP, and specifically Cole's example, helped me see that
there were lots of other people like me-nontraditionally
gender~conforming, successful in an academic sense, and
reflective about it-[ who are] struggling and searching
[for] a place in this large community;' says Hill.
Word is spreading about BBP's unique mission, and
applications are flooding into the organization. "There
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"I found a community of
people that I spent my
whole life searching fortalented, supportive and
beautiful people who are
working toward the same
end goal I am."
June 2011
I 51
were not any organizations that were dealing with what
we're trying to do. The butch identity is often seen as
two~dimensional, but it is a lot more than that;' says
Joe LeBlanc, the founder of BUTCH Voices and its
Resource Development chair. "They are doing some
amazing work:'
Most leadership development programs focus on one
particular aspect of life, but the Brown Boi Project covers
several. Many of the Brown Bois find community and family
while strengthening their valuable life~skills. Sessions are
filled with deep conversation about race and gender, but
participants are also trained in personal finance, fundraising,
community organizing, self~care, networking, communi~
cations and health.
Many Brown Boi alumni describe feeling vulnerable,
alone or exposed while out in their community, and unable
to explore those feelings until they attended the retreat. "I
found a community of people that I spent my whole life
searching for-talented,
supportive and beautiful people
who are working toward the same end goal I am;' says
Micah Domingo, who was in the August 2010 Cohort. "I
went from feeling incredibly alone to discovering a broad
network of Brown Bois who span the globe, all trying to
uplift themselves and their communities. I immediately
put what I learned into practice when I got back home,
and formed deeper connections with those around me:•
There is a consensus among the Brown Boi alumni that
before they went into the retreat no one knew what to
expect. The BBP did not issue agendas beforehand. But
after the retreat, the participants are confident, audacious
and courageous in how they present their masculinity.
They no longer see their identity as a setback, or a fault.
To them, masculinity is a unique identifying marker,
allowing them to be bolder in every aspect of their lives.
They see the BBP as a powerful outlet for creating change
and transforming the way people think about masculinity.
In just over a year, the Brown Boi Project has trained
70 leaders, ages 35 and younger. Yet as Cole says with a sly
smile, "This is simply the beginning:' (brownboiproject.org) ■
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52
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A rare look at lesbians living in China's
capital city. By Cedric Spilthooren
lovers /
beiji-ng
54
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7
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
••
•
•
••
•
•
••
•
••
•
Ice+ Ke u
Ice:21,onlydaughter,webdesignstudent.
"I havenottalkedto my parentsaboutmy
sexuality."
Keyu:30,Englishteacherdivorced
,
mother
of a daughter."Wehavebeentogethersince
January2009.Wedo not livetogetherbut
we wantto. Onlyoneof ourfemalefriends
knowsaboutus. I havenottalkedto my
parens a ou my sexua1 . wou I e o
beoutto everyone,
includingmy parentsFor
.
the Chinesegays
, do notexistandwherethey
existtheyaresometimesconsideredsick.The
gaycommunityis beginningto be morevisible
in majorcities.Attitudesarechanginga little,
especiallyamongyoungpeoplewhoarenot
alarmedby ourwayof life."
June 2011
I55
• Xiao Ying + Yao
•
•
Yao:22,onlydaughter,
journalismstudent."Wemet
two yearsagoat university.Thisis ourfirst love.We
wantto livetogether,buya house,havea dognamed
Patton... the nameof theAmericangeneral... I have
nottalkedto my parentsaboutmy sexuality,but I
will-but not beforeI'm 30. I knowthey will not
acceptit [but]we believethat attitudeswill change."
Ran+ Wen
Ran:21,onlydaughter,studentin TCSL
(teachingChineseas a secondlanguage).
"I havenottalkedto my parentsaboutmy
sexuality.I think it will be difficultfor them
to learnandfor meto tell them,but I do
notwantto hidemy sexualityandwho I
am.Someof myfriendsknow,not all.Two
of themlearnedthat I wasa lesbianand
hateme now.Wewereclose."
Wen:23,onebrother,studentof business
in Londonfor six years."Wehavebeen
togetherfor six months.Welivedtogether
whenwe metin Beijing.Wedo notwantto
marryto hideour homosexuality
as some
Chinese
lesbiansdo.Wewanta realmarriage.
I havenottalkedto my parentsaboutmy
sexuality,but I'll do it in the nearfuture
becausetheyneedto know."
56
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WIND
YOUR WAY INTO THE HEART OF
SANFRANCISCO
With service to over 500 destinations nationwide, our welcoming onboard environment is just as
important as our beautiful views, great food and extra leg room. Whether enjoying a three-course
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seats,Amtrak®invites you to embracethe moment.
Visit Amtra kRideWith Pride.com
I IA
~Gly.~bo,11-
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Enjoy the journey.sM
Amtrak, Acela, Acela Express, Enjoy the journey, and Amtrak Guest Rewards are registered service marks of the National Railroad Passenger Corporation.
Iden+ Jane
Iden:22,onlydaughter,
worksin
thejewelryindustry."I talkedto my
parentsaboutmysexuality.Mymother
askedmeif I wasa lesbianbecauseI
usuallybringfriendshomeandmost
of myfriendsare lesbians.I told her
yes.Shesuspectedit already."
Jane:21,onlydaughter,
finance
student."We'vebeentogeth
anda half.Wemetonthe I
Mostof myfriendsknow
sexuality.Manyof them
havenottalkedto my
mysexualityandI do not
will. Theyareverytrad'
will notacceptit. Mypare
longertogetherbut•
becauseof me."
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ss I
SANFRANCISCO
CELEBRATION
AND PARADE
sfpride.org
JUNE 25
JUNE 26
,t- .·•,:_·";--.
•
SATURDAY
-
1. '
•
,
.
•.
•
.
..
T
SUNDAY
•
lesbian
magazine
THANKS ALSO TO OUR SPONSORS
amer,ca
•
- .
AD SPACE GENEROUSLY DONATED BY
the best-selling
with Celebrity Grand Marshals ...
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curve
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, \
Flashback to the
'80s: Poolside
at Jersey's
Key West Hotel
jersey girls
Remembering a landmark lesbian venue.
By Patricia A. Post
It was the early 1980s and Asbury Park N.J. was the pop~
ular, if inconspicuous place for gay and lesbian bars. When
three local businesswomen gave new life to the abandoned
Albion Hotel, they created the Key West Hotel, a place to
unwind, meet friends, future loves, party, swim or dance
the night away without the pressures of the heterosexual
world. For the majority of women, the hotel offered the
only means of interaction with other lesbians, since being
gay was still taboo. The Key West Hotel would eventually
become the 1980's most popular club for New Jersey
lesbians, and possibly the oldest lesbian venue of its kind
on the East Coast.
It all began in the early 1970s when lovers and
California transplants Carol Torre and Camille Neto
settled in Asbury Park and met Kay San Fillippo, a bar~
tender at a small straight bar which featured a weekly 'gay
day:' The three women were frustrated with the over~
all conditions and treatment of lesbians at the gay
dubs in Asbury-to
have a bathroom that func~
tioned was a rarity and some of the women's bars
excluded gay men, even if they were friends of
the women patrons. So, Torre, Neto and Fillippo
decided to open their own bar.
"In the beginning we just wanted a bar that didn't
demean women and take this attitude that you have no other
choice because you're gay;' explains Torre."We wanted a bar
where people would be treated respectfully. If women came
in with a guy, the guy was welcome. They didn't have to
60
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grovel because we were nice enough to give them a bar:'
The women opened The Owl & Pussycat, on Main
St. in Asbury. "The Owl," as it became known, was a
success, so when the opportunity arose in 1981 for Torre
to purchase the nearby deserted Albion Hotel, she could
not refuse. Torre saw its potential, despite the fire damage,
broken windows, dated interior, antiquated plumbing and
electricity. Convincing Neto and Fillippo was another
story. When she took them to see the hotel, they thought
she'd lost her mind. "They both cried and said, 'This is
a joke, right:'"' Torre recalls. But she convinced them to
throw caution to the wind.
Renovating the hotel wasn't easy, but the women were
determined-and
resourceful. An old dining room was
converted into a disco and a smaller bar was created in
the lobby. They constructed tables for the restaurant but
other furnishings came from auctions: Tables and chairs
for the disco, and bar stools for the lobby bar came from
the Playboy Club in Manhattan; the disco bar came from
a local Italian restaurant and the beautiful bar in the main
lobby from a New York City restaurant. Although the
women were meticulous about renovating the interior, the
hotel's exterior was foreboding. But they preferred it that
way-if the outside was appealing it would attract straight
couples and locals from the nearby biker bars.
In 1982 the Albion was ready for its second life and was
renamed the Key West Hotel. It became more than a hotel:
It was a community of women who shared friendships,
Like NowhereLise
holidays, softball games, bowling, pool tournaments, picnics, birthdays and
holiday parties. There was something for everyone. If dancing downstairs in the
once famous Rainbow Room or upstairs in the Over the Rainbow disco was not
your thing, you could relax in the quieter Owl & Pussycat lounge, shoot a game
of pool or get acquainted with a potential love. In
summer, the Floridian pool was the perfect place to
cool off. Occasionally, the Rainbow Room gave local
gay musicians a chance to play for the hundreds of
women who filled the hotel's dance floor on summer
weekends.
For many New Jersey gay women, the Key West
Hotel was the beginning of becoming comfortable
with their identity. Going to a lesbian bar for the first
time could be frightening for young lesbians. Torre
instructed her staff to be aware of women with a
"deer~in~the~headlights" look and go the extra mile
to make them comfortable. For some, the hotel was
home-literally. At any given time as many as fifteen
women resided in the studios, large apartments and penthouses in the hotel. If
you were too merry to drive home, rooms were available free of charge.
But by the end of the decade there was trouble in paradise. Rumors about the
Asbury waterfront redevelopment circulated and many believed the hotel had
closed. Other gay bars opened, especially in northern New Jersey. But it was the
AIDS epidemic, rampant during the late '80s, which threatened the establish~
ment. Not much was known about how the disease was spread, which caused
paranoia. "By 1986, I had women afraid to go into the pool because they heard
a guy had been in there;' says Torre. "People no longer wanted to drink out of
glasses. I had to switch to plastic:'
With the imminent redevelopment of Asbury Park's waterfront, the hotel's
days were numbered. New Year's Eve 1989 was the last hurrah for the Key West
Hotel and its doors closed forever. Torre took it in her stride. "I felt I was at the
end of my l0~year stint. I have no regrets. It was a good time-a time that we
could never recreate:'
That time saw a generation of lesbians became comfortable with their
sexual orientation and many formed lifelong friendships and relationships.
Unfortunately, the hotel was demolished in the mid 2000s as part of the rede~
velopment and has been replaced by blacktop. Most young lesbians who stroll
by the site are not aware of the community that existed just a few short decades
ago. But to those who remember, Joni Mitchell's lament, "They paved paradise
and put up a parking lot" really hits home. ■
From solo to social: Singles
can eat, drink and make
merry with Olivia
62
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W///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
AT
One solo lesbian finds that when it comes to
cruising for company, it's plain sailing with Olivia.
By Kathy Beige
ON THE
HIGH SEAS
or years, going on an Olivia cruise was on my
bucket list. It seemed like something every
lesbian should do in her lifetime-like shaving
her head, getting a tattoo and following Ani
Difranco around for a summer. It just didn't
feel like my lesbian card would be fully punched
until I set sail with the ladies of Olivia. So, when I got invited
to join them on their Caribbean Halloween Cruise in 2009, I
about jumped out of my board shorts.
I would be traveling alone and as the sail date got nearer, I
started to get nervous thinking about walking onto a ship full
of lesbians all by mysel£ I am a pretty outgoing person, but I
also know what it's like to feel lonely in a crowd of people.
Well, the women of Olivia know that too, and for 20 years
they've perfected the art of lesbian travel, including traveling
for singles and solos. I now think traveling solo is probably
the best way to travel with Olivia.
I've been on a total of four Olivia vacations, but that first
one I took by myself holds a special place in my heart. It was
with a little bit of fear and lesbian bravado that I made my
way to the pre-sail social hour in my hotel the night before
my first cruise. Like walking into a lesbian bar all alone, it
took some courage to venture down into the hotel lobby
packed with dykes who all seemed to know one another. And
as it turns out, a lot of them had met either on other cruises
or on the Olivia message boards in the months previous.
June 2011
I 63
I got my Corona and looked around for a friendly face. I
was standing there, trying to look cool, but feeling awkward,
when a woman from across the room pointed at me and
gestured for me to come over. I looked over my shoulder to
make sure she was talking to me. Because I didn't know what
else to do, I made my way through the
UPCOMING
crowd to her group of friends.
OLIVIA CRUISES &
She told me she recognized me as
RESORT VACATIONS
a writer for this magazine and then
2011
introduced me to her friends. I'm
usually bad with names, but lucky for
July 2-9
Barcelona to Rome Cruise
me these three women were all named
on the award-winning
Barb. I planted myself on the couch
Windstar Windsurf
between two of them and from that
Aug. 17-24
moment on, I never felt alone again.
Romantic Danube
The Barbs invited me to join them for
Riverboat Cruise
dinner, on excursions and to sit with
Oct. 29-Nov. 4
them during the shows. I would later
Enchanted Hawaii Resort
find out that this is just the Olivia
at the 5-star Mauna
way. I honestly can't think of a place
Lani in Kona
where I've met friendlier women.
Dec. 3-10
But leaving nothing to chance,
St. Martin Island Paradise
Olivia has a very well~planned solos
Cruise on the award-winning
program. Ignorantly, on my first trip,
Windstar WindSpirit
I didn't take advantage of it. One of
2012
the coordinators kept asking me if I
Jan.29-Feb.5
was traveling alone, but since I wasn't
Western Caribbean Cruise
single, I didn't think the solo group
was
meant for me. It's true that a
Feb.4-11
Costa Rica &
large percent of the solo travelers are
The Panama Canal
single (at least when they start out on
the trip) but it's open and welcoming
May 5-12
Cancun, Mexico Resort
to anyone traveling alone, regardless
of relationship status.
June 20-27
On my next trip, I decided to take
Splendor of Scandinavia &
Russia Cruise
full advantage of the solos program.
64
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The coordinators greeted me the moment I walked onto
the ship with a solo dog tag and the week's agenda. At the
first meet and greet, 300 women showed up. Some were
clearly on a "find a girlfriend mission;' but most were just
glad to be in a sunny climate, surrounded by lesbians and
looking to make friends and meet interesting people. We
played some "get to know you" games, which did feel a
little like speed dating. "Where did you say you were from
againt"Oh, I met you five minutes ago, sorry:' I can't seem
to remember anyone's name. Am I a bad lesbian?
Gina, the solos coordinator tells me some of her tricks
for remembering names. Beverly has brown hair. B for
brown. B for Beverly.Joan owns a boat. Boat-Joan-the
middle two letters are the same. Oh, forget it! Why can't
we wear nametags all weekr
The solo travelers have events all throughout the week,
social hours, pool games and parties. Surprisingly, there
seems to be little stigma associated with the solo tag. I've
even heard of coupled travelers offering to buy them.
I think meal times are probably the most intimidating
for anyone traveling alone. Who wants to be that person
who sits at dinner all by herself, surrounded by tables of
laughing womenr Fortunately, Olivia has a special seating
area both at dinner and for the nightly shows for solos. And
in each port, solos can partake in excursions specifically for
them. My favorite was in the jungles of Belize, floating on a
tube on a river and through a cave.
I hung out with the solos when I wanted to, and it was
nice to know I could always meet up with them when I felt
alone, but overall, I found all of the women of Olivia to be
more than just friendly and welcoming, I've actually made
some good friends who I still stay in touch with and visit.
There are many ways to vacation and see places like
Cancun, Alaska or Hawaii, but a big part of traveling is the
people you meet. And I can think of no nicer a group than
the women of Olivia. (olivia.com) ■
he trend in Southern food is getting hotter than Georgia asphalt, with five-star restaurants in big cities
featuring menu items like shrimp and grits or pork-laced turnip greens alongside their haute cuisine.
Those who really know their food, though, can tell you that the best Southern-style cooking isn't in any
upscale restaurant. It's all about the napkin-soaking BBQ mile-high biscuits with sawmill gravy and
sweet potato pie, some of the best of which is served in small-but-friendly spots along the highways and
in proud Southern towns. Part of the experience of eating at a Southern diner is in finding it, and some of
the real gems are the restaurants you'll spot as you travel. Look for places where the locals eat, with in-state vehicles in the
parking lot (trucks are a good sign). A posting of daily specials is a hint that the food is fresh. If you' re traveling this summer,
be on the lookout for your own hidden treasures, or do your belly a favor and swing by one of these recommended eateries
(and tell 'em curve sent ya.)
BIG FATTY'SIN KNOXVILLE,TENN.
Owner and chef Lisa Smith isn't surprised that Southern
cuisine has turned trendy in big cities: "They're just gettin'
caught up to what we've always known:' The lesbianowned soul food restaurant speaks to Smith's philosophy
that diversity is important-"from
the flavors on the plate
to who's in the room:' While there's diversity a-plenty on
Big Fatty's menu, the focus is decidedly Southern, from
the slow-cooked, spice-rubbed pork loin to the hefty po'
boy sandwiches. The onion rings are a don't-miss itembattered-to-order rings of thinly-sliced sweet vidalia onions
with the distinct twang of buttermilk in the breading.
Wash it all down with a cold beer from the fridge or a glass
of sweet tea-"Sweet tea is the house wine of the South;'
declares Smith.
LEO AND SUSIE'S FAMOUS
GREENTOP BAR-B-Q IN DORA, ALA.
Located right on the highway about 20 miles
west of Birmingham, the unintentionally
retro roadhouse has been serving up its
legendary smoked pork since Truman was
in office. Though Leo passed away in 1997,
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Susie is still very much in charge, with her son and grandson
manning the pits and mixing up the celebrated sauce. The
menu is mainly barbecued smoked pork and chicken in
various combinations, but you'll want little else. A little
of Susie's creamy cole slaw and a cold drink, plus Tammy
Wynette on the jukebox, and you'll be in hog heaven.
THE FLYINGBISCUITCAFE IN ATLANTA,GA.
The Flying Biscuit is true to its Southern roots, serving
up classic fare like fried chicken and collard greens or
cornmeal-dusted fried green tomatoes along with fun
fusion dishes like a Coca-Cola BBQ-glazed salmon. As
the name indicates, breakfast is where the restaurant really
shines. The famed biscuits are phenomenally fluffy and
skyscraper tall, the perfect accompaniment to an order of
egg-topped turkey hash.
Be sure to allow for extra
time after the meal to
visit Outwrite, Atlanta's
famed LGBT bookstore,
which is mere steps away
from thier popular midtown location's door.
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MAMA DIP'S KITCHEN
IN CHAPEL HILL, N.C.
Start reading off the list of
side dishes at Mama Dip's
restaurant and you'll think they're the words to a James
Brown song: Collard greens, black~eyed peas, okra, rice and
gravy. Mama Dip herself is almost as famous now as the
food she's been serving up since she opened a restaurant in
the '70s with $64-of which $40 was for the food and $24
to make change. She uses what she calls the "dump cooking
method" (no recipes, just dump it in) to make Southern
specialties like chicken and dumplings, spicy catfish gumbo
and country~fried steak. Call ahead and Mama Dip will
pack you a picnic basket for the road.
HENRY'S SOUL CAFE IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
The nation's capital may be packed with museums and
memorials, but you can learn almost as much about our
country's culture just by tasting one bite at Henry's Soul
Food Cafe. D.C:s regular folk line the sidewalks in front
of this small, cinder block joint for soul~infused specialties
like turkey wings with homemade stuffing, mountainous
portions of collards and perfect pork chops smothered in
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thick gravy,plus old~school favorites like a
fatback breakfast platter. Henry's is take~
out only, so tote your meal to Dupont
Circle, where the central fountain is not
only a historic gay rights landmark, but also one of the best
people~watching spots in town. ■
SOUTHERN MENU LEXICON
Here's a crash course in menu items you might find
below the Mason-Dixon line.
Sawmill Gravy Thick,
white, peppery gravy. The
traditional accompaniment to
biscuits.
Chow-Chow The chutney
of the South: a pickled,
cabbage-based condiment.
Try it on pinto beans.
Red-Eye Gravy Made from
pan drippings deglazed with
strong black coffee, often
served with salty country
ham.
Cracklins Crisp-fried bits
of pork skin used to flavor
vegetables or cornbread.
Hot Brown An open-faced
turkey sandwich covered in a
Bechamel-style sauce. Also
called "Kentucky hot brown."
Country-Fried Coated in
buttermilk and cornmeal
or flour and fried (usually
without egg). Countryfried catfish and okra are
common.
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I 67
II,
PRIDEAT
30,000
Eight airlines making the friendly
skies even (gay) friendlier.
By Yana Tallon-Hicks
FEET
ne of the first things you do when planning a getaway is to book a flight, and
with ticket prices steadily rising, you'll
pay a pretty penny just to get from Point
A to Point B. It's always a bonus when
you can spend your hard-earned cash in
support of a company that supports you, so when booking
that next flight, use an airline that gets our rights right.
It makes sense to list UNITEDAIRLINESfirst, as United
was the first U.S. airline to tailor a national ad campaign
to the lesbian and gay market and to announce domestic
partner benefits for employees. It was also one of the first
to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation, and
has been on The Advocate's list of"good companies for gay
and lesbian employees" since 1999. (united.com)
AMERICANAIRLINES'LGBT travel website launched
in 2005, and they invite us to "fly with a friend while you
vacation with a partner:' A.A. was also voted one of the
Best Places to Work for LGBT Equality by HRC in 2008.
(aavacations.com/rainbow)
SOUTHWEST and DELTAhave jumped on the online
LGBT-bandwagon, offering special travel deals and
featuring top gay getaway destinations in special LGBT
travel sections on their sites. Southwest's employees have
also marched in Washington D.C:s Capital Pride Parade.
(southwest.com/gaytravel, delta.com)
68
I curve
VIRGINAMERICAand BRITISHAIRWAYSare the official
airlines of San Francisco and London Pride. A step in the
right direction for B.A. whose March 2006 snafu with a
gay couple nearly landed them in court (a flight attendant
allegedly tried to hide a cuddling male couple with a blanket
but the airline apologized and the suit was dropped; they've
sponsored London Pride ever since). Virgin America,
was nominated by Gay.corn's readers as one of the top
LG BT-friendly airlines of 2009. ( virgin-america.com,
britishairways.com)
JETBLUEalso made the HRC cut, earning a 100 percent
rating in its Corporate Equality Index for the last two
years. And according to Lesbian Histories and Cultures,
edited by Bonnie Zimmerman, Virgin Atlantic have been
offering gay-targeted travel deals since 1995. (jetblue.com)
SAS It doesn't get much more LGBT-friendly than
Scandinavian Airlines, so if you are headed to this liberal
and sophisticated part of Europe, enjoy SAS's unbeatable
open-minded humor and hospitality. (fiysas.com)
For a dyketastic long-haul laugh, book your seat on AIR
NEW ZEALAND'sannual Pink Flight, which flies from San
Francisco or Los Angeles to Sydney's queer Mardi Gras.
The always-sold-out-LGBT-themed party flight, featuring
on-board drag queen performances, music, contests,
queer film screenings and all-star hosts the likes of Kathy
Griffin. (airnewzealand.com) ■
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REVIEWSMusic Watch
LuckyTiger
L.A.-based power pop trio EZ Tiger rolls the dice on success after its debut release. By Maria De La 0
Like most aspiring but unheralded musicians,
Tina DiGeorge, Kristy Mcinnis and Tina
Pascual often dreamed of getting their big
break. Trying to nudge their dreams forward,
they came together to form the indie rock band
EZ Tiger. After only three live performances
(and lead singer Di George had a case oflaryngitis to boot), their big break came a-knockin'
in the form of Scott Bennett, a keyboardist
and producer for the iconic Beach Boy
Brian Wilson.
"I was kind of skeptical;' admits
drummer Mcinnis, who works as a freelance TV producer by day. "The music
industry people say a lot of things, but
don't always mean what they say. So
when Scott said, after seeing us perform just that one time, that he wanted
to produce our record, I was skeptical
about the sincerity of his statement. At
the time, I knew nothing of his musical
70
I curve
background. I just thought, 'Well, we'll see if
he calls us back: However, Scott did call us
back, and I thought, 'Wow-this
guy isn't
joking. This might really be happening:"
Her initial uncertainty was quickly replaced
with a profound sense of gratitude-and
excitement. "Scott has integrity and is deeply
passionate about music. It was an amazing
experience and an honor to work with such
a talented producer;' says Mcinnis. "It just
all seemed to fall together so effortlessly. A
real blessing:'
"We've all said this is the band that we wish
we'd had all along;' says lead singer and guitarist DiGeorge, describing the short, sweet
life of EZ Tiger. It's a lineup that's changed
by one third since the recording: Bassist Tina
Pascual left the band and was replaced by
Anna Maria Rosales. Of Pascual's
departure, Mcinnis says, "We had
just finished the album and wanted to
do more. She just didn't want to put
in the commitment. It was the worst
timing, but it was for the best. Anna
is a way better bass player-a real bad
ass:' She added, 'J\.ll of us really trust
each other's musical instincts:'
For bass player Rosales, who sang
backups on the album, playing in
EZ Tiger is a welcome change from
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being the token female in a band-a
position she has often found herself in.
Rosales, who taught herself the bass at
age 19-and then replaced the bassist in
her boyfriend's band-says, "(Men are]
a little more lax about things. The girls
work really, really hard:'
And work they have, turning a lucky
break into a genuine opportunity.
Just a year after "the girls" met Scott
Bennett at Echo Park's Taix 321 Lounge,
EZ Tiger had finished its self-titled debut
album, produced by Bennett at the legendary Sunset Sound recording studio
in Hollywood, and it was garnering rave
reviews in the local press.
"Scott got our music. He knew what
to do with it-he didn't overproduce it;'
says Mcinnis. Di George adds, "He didn't
mess with our sound, just captured it
and brought out aspects of it. He's done
everything he said he would do, and for
free, basically:'
Soon after the album dropped, the
band was featured in Music Connection
magazine's "Top 100 Unsigned Bands"
list. "It's been fabulous;' says Rosales of
the reaction from the music industry and
fans alike. "We didn't expect the reviews
to be so (positive ]-they really embraced
w the album and really liked the songs:•
~ Everyone, it seems, loves the EZ Tiger
~ sound, which belongs somewhere near
~
[;j the Pixies or The Breeders, but vocally
~ hits closer to Ben Gibbard of Death
Cab for Cutie. DiGeorge describes her
~ singing voice as "vocal androgyny"-and
!§' it mirrors her androgynous looks. (Both
DiGeorge and Mcinnis are gay. And
~ their sexuality influences EZ Tiger's
~ lyrics, which are primarily penned by
~ DiGeorge.)
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Despite their being on the verge of hit~ ting it big, for now all three women are
~
s keeping their day jobs. But, fingers crossed,
~ they're looking forward to a time when
~
music pays all the bills. "One of these days;•
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~ anything else. This is all we do: That's what
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"Music industrypeoplesay a lot of things, but don't alwaysmean
what they say.So when Scott said he wanted to produceour record,
I was skeptical...Scott did call us back, and I thought, 'Wow-this
guy isn't joking. This might reallybe happening'."
WhoYouAre
JessieJ
WillYouMarryMe?
RachaelKilgour
(Universal
MusicGroup) (Self-released)
Walls
AnHorse
(BMI)
Ohland
OhLand
(EpicRecords)
If auto-tuned
hotties
Thereis something
gleefullyreminiscent
havewornouttheir
welcomeonyourMP3 of thefemale-driven
player,thenJessieJ,
musicof the mid-'90s
the bisexualR&B(soon- in Rachael
Kilgour's
to-be)sensation
isjust newalbum.Perhaps
whatyou'relooking
it's that it's infused
for.Putsimply,the
with a DIYspiritbutit's
girl canwail.Herfirst
alsouniquelyfeminine
in thewayso muchof
albumWhoYouAreis
a 13-trackhit machine. the musicwasin Lilith
Fair'sheyday.Rich,
Infact,"Doit Likea
Dude,"thegenderskillfulinstrumentation
bendingreggae-tinged backsKilgour'smelodic
rapcoretrackthatfirst andsubtlyquavermadelezzieearsperk ingvoiceonstandout
upandtakenotice
tracks"Snowplow"and
hasalreadyhit No.
"DirtyGirl."Plus,the
outsinger-songwriter
2 onthe U.K.charts.
isn'tafraidto infuse
Thesoulthrowback
"MammaKnowsBest," personalpoliticsinto
showcases
JessieJ's
hermusic.Thealbum
astounding
vocalrange is namedfor a song
andthe instantathat is equalparts
neouslycatchyalbum celebration
of her
closer"PriceTag"
grandparents'
60-year
marriageandhercomsummons
visionsof
warmsummernights, mitmentto marriage
dancingandgood
equality.Thisis the
times.WepredictWho perfectopenlyqueer
YouAreis thealbumto fit for fansof Joan
beatin 2012Grammys. Osborne
or LisaLoeb.
(universalmusic.
com)
(rachaelki!gour.
com)
Returning
for their
secondalbum,Walls,
AussieduoKate
Cooper
andDamon
Coxcontinueto refine
theirsound,a synergy
of atmospheric
indie
pop.Cooper
wrotemost
of thesongswhile
adjusting
to hernew
homein Montreal,
throughboththejoyof
a newgirlfriendand
theshockingillnessof
a familymember,
the
resultof whichis songs
infusedwith longing
andmelancholy
told
throughhercleverand
confessional
lyrics.It's
thissadness,
juxtaposedwithspunkypop
attitude,plusCooper's
charmingbutquirkily
accented
voice,that
makefor anaudibly
pleasingdissonance.
Theswankyleadtrack
"Dressed
Sharply"is
TheKillersmeetsTegan
andSara,andtitletrack
is delightfully
odd.
(bmi.com)
Likeso manyartists,
Denmark
nativeOh
Land'scareersprang
fromadversity.
Trained
in ballet,herhopesof
beinga professional
dancerwerecut short
bya spinalinjury.But
afterrealizingthat
herloveof danceand
singingwereinspired
bythesamepassion
for music,sheemerged
fromthisdarktime
reinvented.
OhLand's
sophomore
self-titled
albumis twinkling,
etherealandirreverent
trip-hopwitha dance
edge."Perfection,"
a
beat-driven
orchestral
song,underscores
OhLand'senchanting,
soaringvoiceand
thethrobbingdance
floor-friendly
"SonOfa
Gun"landedOhLand
a NewNowNext:Brink
of Famenomination
fromLogo.If youlike
Sia,Poeor Portishead,
you'llloveOhLand.
(epicrecords.com)
June 2011
I 71
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Lone Star Pride
Everything is bigger in Texas, including lesbian reality 1V. By Jillian Eugenics
"People in Texas are full of pride;' says
Debbie Forth, creator of the new lesbian
series LezBeProud, which follows two lesbian
couples as they live their lives, out and proud
in the Bible Belt. ''I've always been out and
proud of who I am. We just love the state of
Texas, even though it doesn't love us back:'
LezBeProud follows Forth and her partner
Dawn, as well as a second couple, Kristi and
Lauren. The series was inspired by Forth
who, sitting down to watch other lesbian
reality TV shows, saw that she wasn't rep~
resented. "Our lives include homework,
soccer practice and work. I tossed the idea
[of LezBeProud] around in my head for some
time. Meanwhile, the idea of same~sex mar~
riage and the opposition to our lifestyle was
constantly in the media. This negative press
left me questioning, 'Where's my voicer Who
721curve
Same-sex marriage and the opposition to our
lifestyle was constantly in the media. This negative
press left me questioning, 'Where's my voice?
Who would understand my family and my view?'
would understand my family and my view?"'
Viewers of the first season can expect a
front~row seat to Forth and Dawn's upcoming
wedding, which she promises will be quite
the affair-they've rented a villa on beauti~
fol Lake Travis in Austin with 75 guests in
attendance and a fire theme, symbolizing the
passion behind their "fairy tale" romance. The
couple will even take their vows in front of a
30~foot slate wall with fire and water cascad~
ing behind them.
Other storylines of the show include
Kristi's reconciliation of her religion with
her sexuality. The daughter of a Baptist
minister, and a former youth minister herself,
Kristi sees the show as a mission to "help
the youth of America see that there are true,
good professional women out there living a
a:
healthy lifestyle with love around them and g
acceptance; it's not all hatred:' We'll also meet ~
Kristi's partner Lauren, who is originally from ~
Saigon and has just begun to reconnect with il:
her family. Forth's partner Dawn is a Marine
who works for the U.S. Government,
and she is not out at work. The show will
follow Dawn's experience of her sexuality
becoming known to the world.
For Forth, it's important to show an
alternative lesbian lifestyle to that of par~
ties and drama so often depicted in reality
TV. "Maybe it's boring, but it's real life.
We date, and raise the kids, and have this
normal, everyday family. We believe it
takes an army to raise these kids. I'm so
feminine, I'm a business professional, I love
family. I don't go to bars, I don't have time
to go to Dinah Shore because I'm running
a household and a company. I don't have
time to party, and when I do I want to do
it with my family:'
Forth insists that LezBeProud is for the
whole community and encourages viewers
to be part of the project. Fans can share
their stories on the LezBeProud site, which
Forth hopes will contribute to the diver~
sity of the series. "People have criticized
that there isn't enough diversity. To us,
diversity doesn't just mean black or white.
I can't tell a person's story; I can only tell
my story. I hope our stories relate to other
people. But if it doesn't relate to you, go to
the website and tell your story. Be a part of
this cast:' ( lezbeproud.com)■
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OrgasmInc.
(FirstRunFeatures}
HereCometheGirls3
(Peccadillo
Pictures}
FemaleSexual
Dysfunction
is a
controversial
"disease"that allegedly
affects43 percent
of women-and the
racefor a "cure" is
underway,
whetherit
is a pill, ointmentor
surgicalprocedure.
However,
its opponentsbelieveFSDis
a fabricatedaffliction,
createdto cashin
on billionsin profits.
Speakingwith pharma
reps,FSDopponent
LeonoreTiefer,Good
Vibrations'Carol
Queenand,most
heart-breakingly,
with Charletta,
a
healthymiddle-aged
womantakingpart
in the clinicaltrial for
the "Orgasmatron,"
an electrodethat is
insertedintoherspinal
column,OrgasmInc.
asksa lot of poignant
questionsabout
femalepleasureand
howour healthis being
commodified.
The
resultis LizCanner's
fascinating,funnyand
ultimatelydisturbing
documentary.
(firstrunfeatures.
com)
Comprised
of nine
award-winning
films
froma varietyof
film testsincluding
Sundance,
Frameline,
Outfestandfeaturing
anagreeably
diverse
castof women(both
ethnically
andin age),
HereCometheGirls3
is a highlyentertaining
anthology
of lesbian
shortfilms.Highlights
includeI AmJin Young,
anengaging
Korean
shortfeaturinga precociousprepubescent
girl
whoselifeandviewof
sexualitychangewhen
hermotherbrings
homeherhottomboy
friend;thequickand
sexyTrophy
in whichan
EllenPagelook-a-like
babydykeseduces
herfather'snew
trophywifeandPublic
Relations,
a charming
upbeatromantic-comedyshortin thevein
of ImagineMe& You,
whichfollowsthe buddingromancebetween
two overworked
personalassistants
who,
afteryearsof talkingon
the phone,aresuddenly
in thesamecity.
(peccapics.
com)
TrueBlood:
TheComplete
ThirdSeason
(HomeBoxOffice}
TheOwls
(FirstRunFeatures}
Queerin every
sense,TheOwlsis a
A not-so-guilty
pleasure, moody,atmospheric
mockumentary-style
seasonthreeof True
noirmurder-mystery
Bloodfeatures
more
directedby NewQueer
of the romance,
dark
Cinematrailblazer
humorandtitillation
thatmakesthisshowso CherylDunye.Starring
alongsidepioneers
watchable.
Pickingup
like Guinevere
Turner,
whereseasontwo left
off,Sookieis searching V.S.BrodieandLisa
Gornickaretoday's
for herundeadbeau,
queerindieupstarts
Bill.Assisting
herin
and
investigating
thevamp- DeakEvgenikos
nappingis newcomer SkylerCooperwho
playa murdervictim
Alcide,whois-of
course-a werewolf. andthe mysterious
Andtherestof theBon strangerwhoshows
up on theirdoorstep,
Tempscrewhastheir
respectively.
Midway
handsfull withtheir
throughthe film, the
owndrama.Vampire
lesbianqueenSophie- actorsbreakthe fourth
Anneis upto herusual wallandbeginspeaking
asthemselves
about
illicit shenanigans,
howeverthe vampire their roles,motherhood,agingand
authorities
(think
SpanishInquisition)
are owls-both the featheredkindandOlder
closingin,Tarahasa
from
new,ill-advised
lover, WiserLesbians,
whichthe film takes
andLafayette
getshis
groovebackwitha hot its name.Experimental
andoh-soarty,it's a
Latino.Plus,vampire
uniqueplatformfrom
Pamfinallykicksthe
whichto observeand
innuendo
to thecurb
analyzethe film's
andgetsherlezon.
themes
of isolation,
Soapy,sexysouthern
fearof agingandloss
dramaat itsfinestof identity.
andqueerest.
(firstrunfeatures.com)
(hbo.com)
June 2011
I 73
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
DividedWe Stand
One lesbian couple shares their struggle with love across borders in Torn Apart. By Philippa
Fallingin lovewith someonefrom another country can make life complicated,especiallywhen
U.S. immigration laws do not grant bi-national LGBT couplesthe same rights as heterosexuals. A new book revealsthe heartacheof couples
torn apart by the law, and one woman shares
her story.
My relationship with my partner, Inger,
who is from Colorado, evolved very quickly
nearly three years ago. It was clear there was
something between us when we talked for
nine-hour stretches on the phone or the webcam. When we met in person in Denver, the
chemistry was overwhelming. When I looked
into her eyes, I didn't understand it, but I saw
forever. Inger's daughter took to me immediately and our family started to take shape. I
have made trips to the U.S. from my home in
Norfolk, U.K. and they have made two trips
to the U.K., but as I sit typing this, we haven't
seen each other for seven months. This is the
74
I curve
longest we have been separated
and it has taken its toll on us
emotionally
and physically.
After months apart, we will spend
two weeks together at the cost of $2500, just
for the privilege of the flights. Our lives are
built on hellos that we know always have a
goodbye attached.
"I am left upset and
confused because I am
not seen as worthy of
loving an American simply because that
American happens to
be of the same gender."
It never ceases to amaze me how little
Americans know about the discrimination
happening in their own country. Not only
are they surprised when I have to leave because Inger cannot sponsor me, but they are
ignorant of the fact that I risk being turned
away at the border as I could be perceived as
an overstay risk. My alien status is another
example of the denial to LGBT Americans
of the 1,138 rights afforded to heterosexual married couples because same-sex
partners cannot legally marry on a federal
level. It doesn't seem to matter that LGBT
Americans pay the same taxes as everyone
else. If you don't fit into the definition of
marriage defined by DOMA (Defense of
Marriage Act) you don't deserve the same rights.
People talk about "special rights" and how gay
people are making a fuss by
wanting to be treated "differently:' I can't agree with
that. When I come into
America, I risk being treated
as a criminal, a flight risk,
somebody who may have
to justify their visit in terms
other than that of a loving
relationship. Weve been doing
this for nearly three years and our love hasn't
faltered-it grows every day. How can it be
wrong to love like this?
By much of the world, America is seen as
a country of progression and power, yet it
will not allow a portion of its citizens the
basic civil rights that all people who abide
by the law should be given. As the alien in
this situation I am left upset and confused
because I am not seen as worthy ofloving an
American -simply because that American
happens to be of the same gender. America
talks about other countries and how they
need to change their discriminatory laws,
whilst seemingly bowing down to religious
institutions at home that preach judgement
and condemnation of anyone that doesn't
choose their path. Being gay isn't a choice.
FairyTale Endings Three stories of getting the girl-in
Thebookopenswiththe death
of Ash'smother,Elinor,who
dieswhenAshis young.Ash's
first contactwiththe mystical
creaturesaroundherhappens
the nightof hermother'sburial,
whenAshkeepsa vigilover
Elinor'sgrave.Ash'sfathersoon
remarries,
thenalsodies,leaving
AshandHuntress,
MalindaLo
Ashasthe indentured
servantto
(LittleBrown):Writingfiction
a cruelnewstepmother
andtwo
aimedprimarilyat teenscan
stepsisters.
Growingup nearan
limit anauthor'saudience,
enchanted
wood,andpossessing
however,
openlylesbianwriter
MalindaLa'stwo books,Ashand powersthat graduallyunfold,Ash
Huntress,
areperfectexamplesof bideshertime in unfurlingher
freedom.Asthe storybuilds,so
well-writtenfictionthat canand
doesthe relationship
between
shouldcrossoverbetweenYA
andadultsciencefiction-fantasy. Ashandthe youngHuntress
Herwritinghasbeenrecognized Kaisa,whoteachesAshabout
manytimesin the lastfew years. femalefriendship.Soon,Ash
beginsto dreamof a different
In 2006,shewasawardedthe
futurefor herself,andwhenshe
SarahPettitMemorialAwardfor
is offeredseveralwishesfromthe
Excellence
in LGBTJournalism
shemustdecide
bythe NationalGayandLesbian fairySidhean,
in whichdirectionherfuture,and
Journalists
Association
andhas
herdesires,will turn.
beena finalistfor theWilliam
Huntressis a prequelto
C.MorrisYADebutAward,the
Ashbutthetwo bookshaveno
AndreNortonAwardfor YA
charactersin common.Instead,
ScienceFictionandFantasyand
Huntress
takesplaceseveral
the LambdaLiteraryAwardfor
hundredyearsbeforethetimeof
Children's/Young
Adult.Shealso
Ash,in an erawhenmagicwas
receiveda nodfromKirkusin
morecommonin the land,and
2009for BestBookfor Children
contactbetweenhumansand
andTeens.
othercreaturesis strained.It is
La'sfirst novel,Ash,is a
lesbianretellingof the Cinderella upto two teenagedgirls,Taisin,
a sagein training,andKaede,a
storyfromthe perspective
futurewarrior,to savethe human
of Aisling,betterknownasAsh.
Neither is falling in love. Yes-what we do
with the feelings we have is a choice, but
that choice is between being happy or settling
for something less, which will never truly
fulfill us.
We decided we had to be public with
our situation, even though there are obvious
risks. But how do we change anything if
we hider We are actively encouraging other
bi~national couples to tell their stories, as
our voices alone won't be enough to change
anything. I was approached by author Judy
both fantasy and reality.
world.Thetwo areselectedto
embarkon a journeyto Tanlili,
thefar off city of the FairyQueen,
to fulfill a mission,whichwill
bringsunshinebackto theirown
lands.Alongthe way,theyare
severelytestedbyforcesthat
aimto destroythem,including
packsof savagewolvesand
demonicbabies.AndthenTaisin's
originalmysticalvisionof the
trip, in whichsheforesawa love
bloomingbetweenherandKaede,
beginsto takeshapedespiteher
ownresistance.
Fansof fantasynovels,
includingreaderswhoare
fondof workslike TheGolden
Compass
andthe HarryPotter
series,will appreciate
the worlds
that MalindaLohasso carefully
constructed.
Herabilityto populate
theseworldswith compelling
younglesbiancharactersis an
addedbonusthat curve readers
will especiallyenjoy.(hachettebookgroup.com)
forayintoa full exposurecoming
out,Hollywood-style.
Bygoingon
a Sweetcruisewith herpartner
of manyyears,participating
in
the lesbianwebseriesWeHave
to StopNow,andappearingon
TheTodayShow,Baxtercame
out in a blazeof glory.TheFamily
Tiesstar,an actorwith many
years'experience
in movies,
on stageandin otherbeloved
televisionshowssuchas Family,
wasstartledbythe warmreception herannouncement
made,
andwasthusinspiredto tell her
life story.Andit's a goodone.
Growingupwith a self-absorbed
actormotheranda narcissistic
andunpredictable
stepfather,
Baxterlaysbarehertroubledhistoryof childhoodfamilyinstability,herownyoungmotherhood,
multipleunhappymarriages,
alcoholism,
survivingbreast
cancerand,finally,
creatinga happy,
supportiverelationshipwith Nancy
Untied:
A Memoirof Family,
Locke.BothBaxter
Meredith fansandthose
Fame,andFloundering,
simplylookingfor an
Baxter(CrownPublishing
Celebrityautobiographies inspiringcomingout
Group):
talewill enjoyUntied,
arenotusuallywellthoughtof
wheregirl meets
by bookcritics.However,
actor
girl,everyoneis thrilled,andthey
MeredithBaxter'snewbook,
reallydo livehappilyeverafter.
Untied,is an exception
to this
(crownpublishing.
com)
rule.Baxterbeginsthe bookwith
a prologuethatcapturesher
[RachelPepper]
Rickard, via Facebook, after she had read
an article I had written about being in a
bi~national relationship. She felt that our
story was one that needed to be included
in the book, Torn Apart: United By Love,
Divided By Law, so after a discussion with
Inger we agreed to be interviewed. We were
treated with respect and given control over
our story. We hope that the book will open
the eyes of American citizens who do not
know about the discriminative immigration
system in their country.
I refuse to overstay visas and live a life in
hiding. I don't want to bring our daughter up
in a world of shame. I want her to be raised
in a loving environment where we can show
her that she can be whoever she wants to be:
The only limitations imposed are the ones
she places on hersel£ America isn't my home;
the U.K. isn't my home either. My home is
wherever my wife and child are with me and
I hope one day soon our life together can
begin properly. ( tornapart.findhornpress.com,
stopthedeportations.com) ■
June 2011
I 75
REVIEWSFood
Cool Beans
Meet Jackie Mendelson, lesbian coffee entrepreneur and altruist. By JD Disalvatore
If you're not sure whether a Tanzania
Peaberry is a sex toy or the newest mini
version of the Blackberry, just ask Jackie
Mendelson. "Gorgeous beans!" she proclaims,
"I always do a happy dance every time I open
up a fresh bag:'
The beans she refers to are coffee beans,
and from her exuberance I glean these are
something like the Catherine Deneuve of
coffee beans. Then again, anything having to
do with coffee lights up her face and evokes
a delightful outpouring of information that
ranges from nuances of taste, to varieties of
farming methods, and even the history of this
now ubiquitous beverage."! love the Tanzania
Peaberry because it is one of the best examples
of the fruity notes and flowery aromas of East
African coffees, and the double bean expands
that profile;' she informs me as I look down
at the cup of coffee in my hand. All I know is
76
I curve
this is one kick,ass cup of joe.
What many of us consider a mundane
daily morning ritual is actually Mendelson's
passion and profession. At an age when
many retire, Mendelson has started her own
coffee company, Arabica Dabra, where she
has managed quite successfully to merge her
love of coffee with her entrepreneurial spirit
and her life long mission of helping others.
Mendelson spent 30 years working in the
non,profit sector, and the root of her coffee
business actually emerged from the 15 years
she spent fighting the HIV/ AIDS pandemic.
"I had the privilege of opening clinics around
the world, so I went to Uganda, Kenya,
Swaziland, Cambodia, India and Latin
America. Wherever I went that was close to
the equator, I saw that they were growing
coffee;' says the former chief of operations for
the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. Many of
the people she helped were coffee growers, so
she had the opportunity to learn first hand.
"I went onto the farms and started talking to
the farmers about how they nurtured their
saplings, grew trees, pruned and picked:'
She also noticed that the sale of coffee
beans was often the only means of financially
supporting these struggling farmers and if
these communities were to survive and
flourish where AIDS and poverty had
devastated the populations, nurturing this
trade was imperative. Mendelson realized
that it was vital that they sold their coffee and
got the best price they could. Which is why
she now buys beans from these areas, and in
addition gives back a portion of the proceeds
to help these communities. She does this by
buying and donating pigs, goats, cows and
bicycles to farmers-tools that are integral to
growing and sustaining their livelihoods.
~
t
~
~
~
~
Coffee for a cause:
Production in Uganda
(top); and the final product
"You don't have to be a big corporation or
nonprofit to make a difference;' Mendelson
says. "You can be someone who is a small in~
dependent business owner that decides, I can
do something on my own to put something
back in the pot:'
Her business model of giving back with
Arabica Dabra also extends to the consumer.
"I wanted to bring coffee that I knew was
excellent to people who were used to getting
just Starbucks or Colombian-just the generic
basic cup of coffee;' she explains.
With the enthusiasm of the well~caffein~
ated she shares stories of her work around
the world fighting HIV/ AIDS. Her deep
connection to the lands and their people
comes from working in the trenches. Many
of those who survived because of treatment
joined her in helping others."From the jungles in
Cambodia to India, the Ukraine and China ...
en
z
~
~
w
a:
0
ti:
::'j
;;;
0
~
people working together to get others medi~
cation are the most wonderful and kindest
and inspirational people on earth. They are
all champions:•
As to the origin of Mendelson's fearless
commitment to helping people in other
countries (which at one point to lead her
to slash her way through jungle thickets in
search of a site for a clinic), Mendelson offers
a simple explanation: "I was a hippy in the
Haight~Ashbury in the 1960s!"
Jackie Mendelson has a head for coffee
and a heart for giving. "If you buy coffee
through me;' she tells me, "You don't get a
tax write off, but you get a pound of unbe~
lievably good coffee. It's certainly fresher
than any coffee you buy at the grocery store
and at the same price:' Not to mention that
with every sip you take, you're making a
difference. ( tastymagic.com) ■
REVIEWSTech Girl
The You Show
How to start your own podcast. By Rachel Shatto
In recent years, podcasts have become hugely
popular-and
with good reason: They are
the perfect antidote to a long commute,
infused with a DIY spirit and custombuilt to fit your niche interest. Plus, they're
(mostly) free and highly addictive.
It's because podcasting is such a do-ityourself format that it has been able to grow
into such a vast sea of voices-of
which
many, excitingly, are lesbian.
If you're new to podcasting, The Lesbian
Lounge is a fantastic listen. Out and proud
co-hosts Denise and Donna keep the Sapphic
dialog going despite the fact that they live
Tools of the
trade: Zoom H4N
(clockwise from
left), Plantronics
.Audio 655 and
the Snowball
on separate continents. 2 Homos is also ~----a hilarious (if very NSFW) collaboration
recording in one room. The second is similar,
of married couple Roxanne and Virginia,
only online. The last is recorded anywhere
who talk about whatever comes to mindno topic is off limits. That's just the beginyou want using a multichannel recorder.
ning; there are numerous other options
Once you've decided on a format, it's time
out there for your listening pleasure.
to shop! You'll need a few things-in
addiHowever, should you not find the right
tion to a computer-including
a microphone
aural fit, just start your own show!
or recorder and editing software.
Podcasts are hard work, and have
There is a lot of great-and
priceysome up-front costs, but they're also a equipment out there, but here are our recomton of fun to make. It's the Wild, Wild
mendations for podcasting gear:
West out there, so your only limitation
For recording in a studio-like setting,
is your imagination. From audio drama
nothing beats Blue Microphone'sSnowball.
to interviews, to group discussions and This sexy little plug-and-play USB mic brings
even one-woman shows, you have the free- studio-quality sound home and is ideal for
everything from recording music to podcasting.
dom to create something custom-fit to your
Plus, with its reasonable price, you aren't going
desires ... then you get to share it with the
world. How cool is that:'
to go broke following your passion. Using
Blue's optional ringer shockmount, you'll
Once you've decided it's time to stop
depriving the world of your unique view, avoid picking up any banging or tapping
for a polished, professionalyou've got some decisions to make. The first: noises-making
sounding show. ($99, bluemic.com)
What format will your podcast be:'
If you prefer to go the online route, a
headset with mic may be your best bet. For
our money, nothing beats the Plantronics
.Audio655.Like the Snowball, this headset is
USB plug-and-play. Its lightweight, pillowy
design makes it comfy, in addition to being
easy to use. Most importantly, the audio is crisp,
and at $50 it can't be beat. (plantronics.com)
There are three basic types: A studio-style
Should you crave flexibility and plan to
recording, group online recording, and mobile host your show on the go, a portable recorder
recording. The first involves one or more hosts
is best. It's important to get a good one, as
You have the freedom to create
something custom-fit to your
desires ... then you get to share it
with the world. How cool is that?
controlling background noise can be chal~
lenging and you'll something flexible enough
to pick up more than one person speaking
at a time. Or favorite is the ZoomH4N.By
crossing two condenser mies in an "x/y"
formation, it's able to record in all directions.
(zoom.coJp)
The next step is to make sure you have the
correct software to bring your broadcasting
dream to life. For Mac users we recommend
GarageBand for studio format shows-
and editing all three types. For PC users,
Audacity is a free and functional choice for
recording and editing, although when you're
ready to step things up, you'll want to invest
in higher~tier software like Mixcraft 5 from
Acoustica.
For podcasts recorded online, the combo
of Skype and IMCapture (Mac and PC) is
the way to go for reliable and relatively inex~
pensive results.
The final step in getting your wisdom,
wit and winning personality to the listening
masses is to select a hosting service. Most
popular is PodOmatic, which offers free
hosting along with paid options (with grad~
ually increasing benefits). It's also ideal for
fledgling shows since it makes putting your
podcast on iT unes a snap.
After that, you'll have your gear and a
way to reach listeners' ears-now
all that's
left to do is start recording and begin your
podcasting adventure. ■
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June 2011
I 79
TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
Kristen
Kavanaugh
The former Marine Corps
officer is supporting service
members through the repeal
of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
By Merryn Johns
We rejoiced at the repeal
of Don't Ask, Don't
Tell {DADT) but Kristen
Kavanaugh saw more work
ahead. The former Marine
co-founded The Military
Acceptance Project {MAP),
an organization promoting
acceptance of lesbian
and gay service members
during and after the repeal.
1 . Sheservedfor 9 yearsin the MiddleEast
andisnowanactivist."Throughout my career
I had no outlet to express myself and no one I
could comfortably confide in. I was given the
strength to endure the challenges of DADT
so that I would be able to help others. I have
a duty to my fellow LGBT service members
to ensure they never again have to face the
types and levels of discrimination that I did
in the military:'
2. She enduredservingher countrywhile
closeted.
"In Iraq, my boss-a Colonel who
had been in the Marine Corps longer than
I had been alive-politely
suggested that
I wear shorter shorts in order to 'increase
my chances of finding a boyfriend: I wasn't
able to speak with my partner openly on the
phone. I had to be very careful what I included
in my emails because they could be read by
my command at any time. My boss offered to
give up my seat on the flight home from Iraq
to someone who had a wife and kids waiting.
Ultimately, I left the Marine Corps because
I could not justify lying to myself and others
in order to protect my career:'
5. Shegalvanizes
support.
"From chain of command to protocol to the key role that family
plays in the lives of service members, there is
a distinct culture within the armed services
that must be understood for any organization like ours to be effective:' She has found
supporters: LGBT and straight, military and
non-military-including
The Department of
Defense and branches of the military who
"were pleased that they would finally have a
way to hear from and communicate with LGB
service members. Because we have no partisan
or political agenda, we can serve as a neutral
conduit between these groups:'
6. She valuesher local lesbiancommunity.
"While I spent most of my time watching
my actions and what I said at work, I did
have support from my civilian lesbian community. Our community in San Diego is
very tight knit. My connection to them has
proven to be a valuable resource, especially
with this project:'
7. She made lesbiansa majority,for once.
Seventy-five percent of those in the MAP
focus group were lesbians. "Lesbians were
3. Shesawtheopportunity
forfurtherreform. integral in helping us know what to focus
"I watched President Obama liberate my
on with our mission. Oftentimes, the media
brothers and sisters in arms with one stroke
focuses on gay men in the military and fails
of the pen. He said, 'This is done: I thought,
to include the lesbian experience:'
'Yes... but not yet: Although LGB service
8. Shepromotes
diversefamilies.
"When you
members are initially afforded some of the
are overseas and in a war zone, loved ones
rights of their straight counterparts, they
are an absolute lifeline. As an LG B service
don't have any of the family rights because
member, you are cut off from that lifeline in
the Defense of Marriage Act is firmly in
many ways:'
place. They don't enjoy protection and equal
opportunity, as women or racial or religious
9. She'sgivenDADTa face. She came out
groups do. The repeal does nothing to proafter leaving active duty and entering the
tect them from discrimination beyond the
workforce. "My co-workers were amazing.
ability to serve openly. It also does not adMy experience did not match the horror
dress the transgender community and their
desire to serve our country:'
stories they had been told about gay people.
They supported me and continue to support
4. She convertedher militaryexpertiseinto me to this day:'
activism.As a student at the University of
1 0. She believesin Pride."Gay Pride is
Southern California's School of Social Work
essential. The ability to celebrate who you
she was given the assignment ofleading a team
are is the foundation for acceptance, both
in advocating for a marginalized population.
She chose to advocate for LGBT service personally and as a community. Marching
sends a message to those who cannot yet
members and convinced her classmates to
accept themselves that there is a community
support her choice. "We have been working
waiting for them when they are ready:' ~
tirelessly since January to gather accurate
I
information and build our website:'
(militaryacceptanceproject.org)
■
Q
g
so I curve
FAMI _ -IEN_DS
+
EQ -----;..___
Y+RESPECT
MACY'SIS PROUDTO JOIN THE PARADEACROSSAMERICAIN HONOR OF
NATIONALPRIDEMONTH. WE THINK IT'S REALLYSOMETHING TO CELEBRATE.
FOR MORE INFO, GO TO MACYS.COM/PRIDE
*
macys
~
t'::::';J::.~Es
h •w El
Proudly recognized by The Trevor Project for our commitment to the LGBT community
and by the Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index with a 100%rating
Find us.
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■
Celebrating pride
PLACESTOWORK
2010
for LGBT Equality
100% CORPORATEEQUALITYINDEJ!.
When you look back at the efforts and achievements of LGBT men and women
over the years, there's every reason to be proud. Not just once a year, but every
day. Wells Fargo takes great pride in the diversity of the communities we serve.
That's why we continue to make financial contributions to LGBT nonprofits,
provide services specific to the needs of our LGBT customers and foster a work
environment that doesn't just accept differences, but celebrates them.
Happy Pride. All year round.
Together we'll go far
wellsfargo.com/lgbt
© 2011 Wells Fargo Bank, N.A. All rights reserved. Member FDIC.
Features JUNE2011
30
Bringing Sexy Back, For Real
The Real L Word returns with more depth,
more diversity and dare we say, more sex. Fire
up your DVR and discuss! By Rachel Shatto
36
Not a 'T' Party
Take a walk in the shoes of transgender,
transsexual and intersex people this Pride.
By Ashley Love
38
A Guatemalan Affair
Meet the first lesbian couple to get married
in Guatemala, Spanish-colonial style-and
what style!
62
At Home On the High Seas
Single or vacationing alone? For over more
than three decades Olivia has honed the fine
art of Sapphic hospitality. By Kathy Beige
72
Lone Star Pride
Lesbian Pride in Texas takes the form of
a new reality show. By Jillian Eugenios
SpecialPrideSection
What does Pride mean to lesbians today?
43
Pride Vox Pop
We took to the streets to ask, What does
Pride mean to you? By Jillian Eugenios
46
The Power of a Few
After bloodshed, South African
lesbians march against prejudice.
By Lauren Barkume
50
Where the Bois Are
Masculine queers of color step up
to the plate. By Laniaya Hoofatt
54
Lovers In Beijing
Meet the Chinese lesbians pushing
the boundaries of acceptance.
By Cedric Spilthooren
60
Jersey Girls
Flashback to '80s Asbury Park in its
lesbian heyday. By Patricia A. Post
68
Pride at 30,000 Feet
Fly the gay-friendly way with these
airlines. By Yana Tallon-Hicks
COVER
PHOTO
BYWARWICK
SAINT/SHOWTIME
2
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page42
page
24
Departments JUNE2011
19
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IN EVERY ISSUE
6
7
8
10
17
24
resident lesbian dating expert, Meredith
Schlosser. Plus, 10 tricks to keep your long
distance love alive-and smoking hot.
Editor's Letter
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Letters
27
Out in Front
21
Scene
22
80
Lipstick & Dipstick
Politics
Need Gay Pride? You betcha. More now
than ever before.
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
Stars
28
Laugh Track
Kate Clinton gets her Pride on with
characteristic wit and insight.
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Curvatures
Ladies, behave! Well, it wouldn't be
Lesbofile without a few hot messes.
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Celebrity Gossip
a:
CJ
~
Top Ten Reasons We Love ...
A sexy, modern take on the traditional
Pride gear-with zero tacky rainbow
tie-dye in sight.
(/)
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18
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(/)
Contributors
20
11
Relationships: Meet The Setup Squad's
Music: Queer trio EZ Tiger offers a
I
refreshing new sound and attitude.
(/)
Film: Our viewing picks, plus meet the
cast of LezBeProud,Houston's hot new
LL
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reality web series.
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Books: In a new book, bi-national
couples tough it out across borders.
76
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Food: Coffee is more than a breakfast drink.
For one lesbian, it's a humanitarian mission.
78
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Tech: Make your voice heard! Become a
lesbian podcaster. Here's how.
CD
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Impressionism is the second most inJluential movement this paintin9 was part of
A TOLERANT WORLD IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. But we're getting there. At Progressive, we /
believe in respecting all people and finding beauty in their differences. It's just one way we live
up to our name. To learn more about our Works in Progress initiative, visit progressive.com/lgbt.
Progressive Casualty Ins. Co. and its affiliates, Mayfield Village, OH. 10D00056 (06/10)
PROGR£II/V£®
EDITOR'S
NOTE
curve
B
ack in my early years of cultural studies, I had a
highly esteemed college professor who chastised me for
saying that I believed I was born gay. She felt that this "born
gay" belie£ if it became widely accepted, could open the doors
to Nazi~style minority cleansing. Moreover, as a second~wave
feminist, she valued the "right to choose:' Like so many in
positions of authority, she made the mistake of viewing an
earnest claim to difference other than race, but such as sexual
orientation or gender identity, as a political
ploy-a move driven by a desire for"special
treatment:'
It's disconcerting how the demand
for equal rights by any minority can be
twisted, even by intelligent people, into
something else. Gays have been labeled as
drama queens, lesbians as dour, bisexuals
as nonexistent and trans people as too
complicated to understand-and
no one
knows what to do with genderqueers and
the intersex-all because they continue to
stand up and demand their own authentic
identities and equal rights. And they
should: Not one of these identities is better
or more valid than another. I didn't choose
to be a lesbian any more than I chose to
be white or female, so it's astonishing to
me that the extent to which I can "own''
my identity and live fully is not an automatic right. Only
heterosexuals are accorded the privilege of being accepted and
rewarded throughout their lives for popping out on the "right"
side of the social status quo.
Many countries, the United States included, drag their feet
on the issue of human rights, which includes LGBT rights. I
am not a lifestyle choice- I am a fact. But right now, I am a
second class citizen. I believe equal rights for all LGBT people
will happen in my lifetime, but until then we need Pride and
the protection afforded by the rainbow umbrella that unites, if
sometimes uneasily, the L, the G, the B and the T.
In getting this issue together, I felt that it was important
to hear from groups that don't automatically take center stage
at Pride: African American, Asian, South African and trans.
Hello, also, to the bi~national lesbian couples fighting separa~
tion. I'm one of you. On a lighter note we have the wonderful
Kate Clinton to keep us amused and the cast of The Real L
Word to keep cranking out the dyke drama. A girl's gotta have
some fun, right? Happy Pride!
Until
Equality,
Pride
~~
Merryn Jo s
Editor-inief
merryn@curvemag.com
6
I curve
THE BEST-SELLING
JUNE 2011
I
LESBIAN
MAGAZINE
VOLUME 21 NUMBER 5
Publisher Silke Bader
Founding Publisher Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Merryn Johns
Managing Editor Rachel Shatto
Associate Editor Jillian Eugenios
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Contributing Editors Diane Anderson-Minshall, Victoria A.
Brownworth, Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
EditorialAssistant Liska Koenig
PUBLISHING
Associate Publisher Diana L. Berry
Director of Operations Laura McConnell
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Jamie Anderson, Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin, Bree
Clarke, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Beren deMotier, Lauren Marie
Fleming, Lisa Gunther, Tania Hammidi, Kathi lsserman, Melany
Joy Beck, Gillian Kendall, Georgia Krokus, Kate Lacey, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Ariel MessmanRucker, Alison Peters, Heather Robinson, Laurie K. Schenden, Lori
Selke, Janelle Sorenson, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Yana TallonHicks, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Erica Beckman, Brie Childers, Meagan Cignoli, Cheryl Craig,
JD Disalvatore, Tony Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Cheryl Mazak,
Maggie Parker, Constance Parten, Elisa Shebaro, Leslie Van
Stelten, Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams, Misty Winter
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CONTRIBUTORS
"To find a group of people who look past your outer shell
and dive deep into who you are from the inside out is
amazing. The Brown Boi Project's core values, mission and
ability to build leaders leaves me speechless and wanting
more;' says LaniayaHoofattwho is currently a political/
social-networking researcher. Hoofatt took to writing as
an outlet during high school but later joined the college
newspaper. In her senior year she was chosen to work
on the student project for the National Lesbian Gay
Journalist Association in Washington D.C. From there
she interned at OurChart and Velvetpark where she is currently the production editor for the site. For the past year
and a half she has been working on her first novel and a
graphic novel aimed at queer youth.
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French photographer Cedric Spilthoorenspent several
months in Beijing, China, taking portraits and interviewing
gay and lesbian couples. "In a country where communal
and family values are the pillars of society, where an individual's life is directed by the heavy weight of filial devotion,
to pursue one's own sexual orientation is a gamble. This
work doesn't aim to judge Chinese society, but rather to tell a
story about people who love each other. I am touched and
emboldened by people who have the guts to be what they are,
no matter the country they live in:' Check out his stunning
pictorial on page 54. (cedric-spilthooren-photography.com)
Freelance writing, incessant volunteering and substitute
teaching in British Columbia have kept KyraThomson's
professional life unpredictable. Fortunately, this is offset
by the comforting constants in her life: Her British partner,
her Gretsch guitar, a vinyl record collection, omelettes and
strong coffee, Harriet the cat, hockey and helping out every
week at a children's hospice in Vancouver. In addition to
volunteering at the hospice, Kyra also organizes and hosts
an annual live music fundraiser for the facility in memory
of two nieces.
"These days I'd rather eat a hot slab of cornbread than
"but it
fine caviar;' says freelance writer KellyRobinson,
took me a long time to appreciate Southern cooking. It's
easy to dismiss the dishes you grew up with, especially when
you first leave home and want to broaden your palate
along with your horizons:• After sampling and writing
about some of the best dishes in the world, Robinson
has come full circle, and now counts the food traditions
of the Appalachians as among the world's best. A lifelong resident of Tennessee, Robinson has written for
magazines such as Mental Floss, Games and Culinary
Trends, and is working on her first book, a guide to
post-apocalyptic fiction and film. She shares the South's
cuisine in "The Savory South" on page 66.
June 2011
17
LETTERS
"colonialist stance" toward third world women
and cultures. Ms. Brownworth makes the all
too common assumption that Western feminist
perspectives such as clothing, and body visi~
bility should apply to all women. The problem
is not in fact the burqa or hijab, the problem
is with autocratic and patriarchal oppressive
governments. But forcing a women to de~veil
her head does not automatically make her free.
Allowing a woman the choice to wear what
she wants offers the autonomy we should all
have as women in any part of the world.
From Curve's
Facebook Wall
"Lovethis mag!"-Simone Lee
I lovethis MAGAZINE!!!
Thebestone
for our kind! -Celeste Fondeur
Lovethe mag... makesbeinggay
that muchmorethrilling:)
-Stephanie Sarti
-Michelle Vogel,Los Angeles,CA
Lovethe [RubyRose]cover.
-Vikki Freeman
Changing Demographics?
Frustrated Fashion
I love curve magazine and was thrilled to
see my local bookstore carry your subscrip~
tion. The magazine keeps me updated on
what's going on in pop culture on the lesbian
front. And while I love curve, I found the
"Dangerous Fashion" [Vol. 21#3] article very
problematic. The trend of Western feminists
and media has been to use their position of
privilege to criticize Third~world women's
problems in what Uma Narayan calls a
Votefor CurveMagazine
onTheBestMagazineEver.com
pageof
TBWE.com
(TheBestWebsiteEver.com)!
-Bet Maniaci
My partner and I have found that we are less
and less represented in your magazine. It's
dear that the new curve ownership is aim~
ing for a different demographic. The "YUD"
(Young Urban Dyke).
I heartCurveMagazine:)
-Suzanne Westenhoefer
- Teresa Hart and Phyllis Adams, London,
Ontario
Justsubscribed!Vay!
-Genesis Jimenez
Editor'sNote:curve is for every lesbian, no
matter what age, race or geographicallocation.
lf you feel you are not being representedin the
magazine, tell us about about yourself and your
part of the world.Join our EAGER (Editorial
Advisory Group of EngagedReaders)forum on
curvemag.comand have a say infuture issues.
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Visitcurvemag.com
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Dude for Diversity
Poll
How are you celebrating
Pride this year?
47%
28%
17%
4%
4%
I'm watchingthe parade
I'd loveto go,but I'm notout
I just wanted to tell you all at curve how much
I enjoy your magazine. I've been a subscriber
for over a year and look forward to every new
issue. Something I did want to comment
on-it seems every month in the letters page,
there's a reader unhappy that something about
the previous issue didn't speak to them or
their situation. I'm always a little puzzled by
this. As a hetero male, I'm probably about as
far away from the "target demographic" that
I can be, and yet I find thought~provoking,
inspiring and educational material in every
issue. Frankly, I don't expect curve, or any
magazine, to somehow cater to me or my
ii'.JILike
interests or identity in everything it does; and
really,how dull that would be if a magazine did.
It's the diversity, the opportunity to expand my
understanding, the chance to see beyond my
own borders and experiences and world~view
that I find so compelling and rewarding.
-Dennis Edelen,Miami, Fla.
CORRECTIONS
BecauseI Can is Daphne Willis' second album.
[Vol.21#3]
Beenthere,donethat
andI'm overit
I'm in the parade
I'm skippingthe parade
butnotthe parties
According
to a curvemag.com
poll
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Thinking Outside the Pink Triangle
Montreal~based graphic designer Erny Storey of Storey
Elementary first caught our eye in 2009 as the artistic vision~
ary behind the striking album covers for bands such as Tegan
and Sara and Death Cab for Cutie. For Storey, design is as
crucial an element to album sales as it is to the success of a
political movement.
It is this interest in combining social justice with intel~
ligent graphic campaigns and merchandise that led writer
and web consultant Sarah Fobes to team up with Storey to
launch Revel & Riot. A web~based company, Revel & Riot
promotes LGBT rights, awareness and equality through new
media, graphics, writing and products.
The website showcases a growing assortment of innovative
merchandise, with the intent to promote dialogue in society
around LGBT issues. Storey and Fobes understand that
"when you wear a clever shirt that addresses a serious topic,
people take notice and come forward to engage. Our shirts
are about Pride, humor and education:'
But what sets Revel & Riot apart from other sloganeering is
their commitment to provide extensive educational resources
on topics such as coming out and transgender health, as well
as role model profiles and an impressive searchable database
of community organizations. They also gather relevant news
items and uniquely divide these current events into a "revel"
category that celebrates accomplishments and political
victories; or the "riot" category, which monitors homophobia,
transphobia, ignorance and violence in the news.
"When we were thinking of a name for our company we
tried to come up with something that really captured the
essence of LGBT life today;' explains Storey. "On the one
,_ ~~
~
~
-·
Revel & R_iot:sSarah Fobes (left) and Erny Storey
.....
hand we have pride, we celebrate, we love, we create our
own communities and often our own families, but then on
the other hand there is so much suffering, discrimination,
violence and alienation. It can be a life of extreme contrasts
for many people:'
Fobes and Storey decided that a more natural way to
present both sides would be to play into the contrast,
because "somehow the painful stuff is more manageable that
way;' says Storey. "The contrast then becomes something we
can balance rather than something that breaks us down:'
Revel & Riot is growing steadily, in both content and
presence, and will continue to expand their online resources,
educational materials and designs. You can purchase their
merchandise online, or find them at San Francisco Pride this
year, and revel in the fact that a percentage of every shirt sale is
donated to LGBT organizations and campaigns.
(revelandriot.com)
[KyraThomson]
~I
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June 2011
I 11
CURVATURES
Modern Pride
Hot rainbow gear to spice up this year's parade. By Rachel Shatto
Who among us doesn't have at least one shudder~worthy photo from a previous Pride of ourselves wearing
something tacky, in the name of allegiance to the rainbow flag? How did you, a normally fashion~forward
dyke, end up decked out in Labrys symbols and rainbow tie~dye? Simple: A lack of options. But that's no reason
to bid the rainbow adieu forever because now more than ever the rainbow and its polychromatic symbolism
represents the unprecedented diversity within our ever~evolving LGBT community. So this year, let your
Pride flag fly by infusing your we're~here~we're~queer~rainbow~gear with a little glamour. Here are 10 of our
sexy suggestions for clothes, jewelry and accessories-with
nary a freedom ring or tie~dye tee in sight.
0
a
1. Tastethe Rainbow
Youknowwhat's neversexy?
Dehydration
andplasticbottles.We
suggesttacklingtwo libidokillersat
oncewith a rainbowsparkleSiggwater
bottle.Nodoubtyou'veseenthese
eco-friendlythirst quenchingsolutions
just abouteverywhereandnowyoucan
sip awayanddeclarethat you'rean out
proudhomoall at the sametime.
($22,cafepress.com)
2. Can'tRainon ThisParade
Comerainor shine,nothingprotectsyou
fromthe weatherlike an umbrella.So,for
Pride,why not gayyourboringold umbrella
with a rainbowumbrellafromthe Museum
of ModernArt's collection.Besides,who
knowswho mightduckunderfor... well...
cover.($25,uncommongoods.com)
3. DogDays
Youaren'tthe onlyonewho wantsto be
lookinghot at Pride,so don'tforgetabout
yourpoochwhenit's time to dressto
impress.It doesn'tget anycuterthanthe
Easygorainbowharnessvest.PuppyPrideto-go.($25,pawsonpalmbeach.com)
5. ShiverMe Timbers
Handcrafted
andorganic,rainbowwood
hoopsfromTheEarringChest
are unique
andattention-grabbing
jewelrythat's so
chic you'll wearthemyear-round.
($1O,etsy.com/shop/TheEarringChest)
4. FemmeFascination
Prideis a greatexcuseto unleashyour
innerdiva,so go crazyoverthe top and
extravagant,
andjust havefun with your
accessories.Ourpickfor eye-catching
glamour:A hot one-of-a-kindburlesque
inspiredfascinatorfrom Blazing
Thimbles.($40andup,etsy.com/shop/
BlazingThimbles)
-
&. KawaiiKicks
Treatyourfeet to an
adorablePride-fest
with the animeinspired
BunnyHill Keds.From
the streetsof San
Franciscoto Tokyothese
shoesarefun, irreverent,
functionalandcutefor
butchesandfemmes
alike.($60,zazzle.com)
7. Homosof a Feather
Longfeatherearringsare
Oberhot right nowandwith
FeatherObsession's
supersexy
rainbowearringsmadefrom
undyedmacawparrotfeathersyou
getthe bestof bothworlds.($24,
etsy.com/shop/FeatherObsession)
8. TurnYourHaters
Into Congratulators
Declareyourpersonalspacea
hate-freezone,whereyou'refree
to get your Prideon with this
cheekytee byTrulySanctuary.
($22,etsy.com/shop/
trulysanctuary)
9. PunkRockPride
Feathersandglitter too femme
for your liking?Well,howabout
addinga little edgeinstead
with this supercool,handcrochetedrainbowMohawk
hat.($17,etsy.com/shop/
Craftielilhart)
1o.Fromthe Hip
Likeit or not,fannypacks
havemadea comeback-this
time rebrandedas "belt
bags."Stopfightingthe
inevitableandgivein to this
oh-so-user-friendly
trend
by choosinga fierceone.
Ourpick:the hot pink denim
numberfrom Rocksand
Salt.($64,etsy.com/shop/
rocksandsalt)
PHOTOS: COURTESY
OF CAFEPRESS (1),
ROMIELIZ GREEN (4),
ZAZZLE.COM (6),
SHARON DAVIS (7)
June 2011
I 13
CURVATURES
the rundown
Massachusetts
Governor DevalPatrickhas nominated
BarbaraA.Lenkto serve on the state's Supreme Judicial
Court. Lenk is the longest~servingjustice on the state's
Court of Appeals, and is openly lesbian. If confirmed,
Lenk will be the first openly LGBT member of
Massachusetts' highest court ... The Nebraska
Supreme
Courtis considering whether a lesbian can
have parental rights terminated if she fails to act like
a parent after a separation. TeriLathamand Susan
Schwerdtfeger
were together for over 15 years before
having a son together. When the relationship ended,
Schwerdtfeger argued that Latham hadn't remained
part of their son's life and should lose parental rights.
Latham says her access to their son has
been restricted ... President Obamahas
announced his nomination of Alison
Nathanfor a judgeship on the U.S.
DistrictCourtfortheSouthern
Districtof
NewYorkState.Nathan currently serves
as the Special Counsel to the Solicitor General as part
of the New York State Office of the Attorney
General. She is an out lesbian, and is
the fourth LGBT judicial appoint~
ment by the Obama administra~
tion ... BBCSports Broadcaster
ClareBalding
says that coming out
as a lesbian has made her a better
broadcaster because she is no longer
hiding who she is. Balding also
says that coming out has made
her more popular with women.
"Women are funny the way they watch telly, because
they don't like women who they think might nick
series TheRealHousewives
their husband:: .. Bravo's
of Orange
County
is breaking new ground with the
Rocha,the first openly lesbian
inclusion of Fernanda
housewife to be part of the series. Rocha is making
waves about her inability to be legally married because
of her sexual orientation, and has posed topless for
campaign ... Belinda
Sanchez,
an 18~year~old
the NoHB
EastHighSchoolin Illinois,
lesbian student at Proviso
has won the right to wear a
tux to her prom. After school
officials told Sanchez that she
needed to wear a dress, she
contacted the ACLUwho sent
a letter on her behalf to the
school. The school maintains
they were considering changing
their decision before receiving
the letter from the ACLU.
[Sassafras
Lowrey]
racktrc.,_i
Treasure Chest
Nothing says classy dyke like a brassiere full of loose house
keys, credit cards and cash-and
it's a quick way to lose
things, too. But here's a saucy solution for the pocketless
gal on the go. Now you can tuck your goodies into your ...
well. .. goodies with the Racktrap, an ingenious little pocket
that slips into your bra and can hold a license, cash, keys
and credit cards, so you can boogie hands-free. Ideal for
those late nights at Pride, the Racktrap is available in a
fashion three-pack (black, white and nude lace), a sweatproof sports model and in divatastic gold. No pockets, no
purse, no problem. ($8 and up, theracktrap.com)
Hot Tee of the Month
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Withtheircheekily
inclusivenewtee,
Threadless
declares
whatwe alreadyknow:
Whetherit's two girls,
two boysor evena
wizardandan alien,
loveis love.($20,
threadless.com)
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HONORARY
LIFETIME
LESBIAN
MEMBERSHIP
OUTINFRONT
Unabashed
Two women create change
through laughter and tenacity.
By Sheryl Kay
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-~
~
-~
·;
~
Comic Relief
By day, SimoneCampbellis a sales and support specialist for a West Coast educational
software company, by night she's a stand-up
comic and on top of it all she's a committed
social activist. "I try to keep my finger on the
pulse of what's going on in my community;'
says Campbell.
One cause close to Campbell's heart is
preventing youth violence. She recalls a
horrifying incident in which a teenager put
a gun to her head-and
pulled the trigger.
The gun wasn't loaded, but that didn't prevent
Campbell from seeing her life flash before her
eyes. The teen then put the gun down and
said, "Gee, it's your lucky day, dyke:•
The episode propelled Campbell to
spend 10 years on the Speakers Bureau of
Community United Against Violence, an
organization co-founded by Tom Ammiano
in San Francisco. "Do you know that more
than 25 percent of the violence perpetuated
against us [is committed by] kids?" she asks.
"We need to change that, and the only way is
through education and talking to kids-and
to keep talking:'
Campbell also lends her energetic support to Benefit for the Boob, the proceeds of
which go to the San Francisco Breast Cancer
Emergency Fund and to the Gay American
Heroes Foundation. She also recently worked
with the Harvey Milk Foundation on the
Official Harvey Milk Day Celebration in Los
Angeles, for which she was able to secure the
rooftop of Madame Tussauds Wax Museum
on Hollywood Boulevard as the venue.
While Campbell is deeply committed to
community activism in her personal life, her
comedy show is another story."I may be political, but my humor is hardly what I would call
politically correct;' she says. "I talk about
everything from wardrobe malfunctions to
sex to pot smoking. Nothing is safe. Let's
face it-people are there to laugh:'
Campbell believes laughter is good medicine
but, more importantly, it's a gateway for action.
"The goal is to get people laughing, and hopefully they are also thinking about the little
ways they can make a difference:•
Bold Brit
Twenty-five years ago, Clare Dimyonstood
just steps away from Buckingham Palace,
attending her very first LGBT Pride event in
a country where homophobia was as common
as afternoon tea.
So it's easy to imagine the overwhelming
emotions Dimyon felt late last year when
she was actually invited into the same palace,
greeted by Prince Charles and awarded an
MBE (Member of the British Empire) specifically in recognitionof her gay rights work.
Dimyon, a longtime activist who also teaches
engineering and technology, describes what
she felt at that moment: "Immense pride for
this first official honor for Pride, pride at the
first reading inside Buckingham Palace of the
words 'lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender'
and pride that I am now trusted and beloved
of Her Majesty, the same head of state who
had to sign the appalling Section 28 into law,
which treated me and other lesbian and gay
people as child molesters:•
But even while her own homeland was
moving slowly toward full recognition of
LGBT rights, Dimyon never sat back complacently. She took her work on the road and,
as far back as 1995, started making visits to
Central and Eastern Europe. She began with
a visit to Poland. Worried that gay men did
not have access to prophylactics, she smuggled
in 500 condoms and handed them over to
Lambda Warszawa.
"I was mightily relieved not to have to
explain that to the Polish customs officials;'
she says.
From there, Dimyon has taken her activism
to Latvia, Moldavia, Estonia, Russia, Slovakia,
Hungary and the Czech Republic.
Why does she do itr
"If I can do something that moves things
in the right direction, why wouldn't I do itr"
she says. She also credits her Quaker beliefs:
"The central tenets of Quaker faith are truth,
justice and equality, so it is simply impossible
to stand by when there is work to be done to
achieve them:' ■
June 2011
I 17
LESBOFILE
Dyke Drama-rama Chely gets engaged, Gaga gets censored,
and it looks like it may finally be the end for LiRo. By Jocelyn Voo
SometimesCowgirlsDon'tGetthe Blues
A NewSeries
Wedding bells are ringing for country singer
Chely Wright and girlfriend Lauren Blitzer,
who've set the date for late August. As for
who did the asking, no bended knee here:
"We proposed to each other. Designed our
rings together, too;' Wright told After Ellen.
com. Looks like the couple, who met through
their shared child advocacy work, are in for
many years of togetherness.
Model and actor JessicaClarkisn't just slated
to appear in the upcoming movie The Perfect
Ending-she's also going to be starring in
State of Georgia,a new ABC Family comedy
series set to premiere June 25, alongside
Raven-Symone.
Symone is set to play an
aspiring actress in N.Y.C., while Clark is her
"science geek" best friend.
NewGirlin Town
Another month, another LiRo story. Despite
a few not-so-long-ago tweets from Sam
Ronsonabout LindsayLohanstill asleep in
her bed, the two were never officially back
together. And now it looks like they're definitely not getting back together, because
there's a new girl in town: Yoga instructor
Tiffany Russo was seen making out with
Ronson in March. Er-make
that divorced
yoga instructor. Russo split with her husband
of seven years in 2006 due to "irreconcilable
differences:'
Song,Censored
No doubt you've heard Lady
"Born This Way" by now,
Gaga's
as it's been No. 1 on Billboard's
charts for over five weeks. That
is, unless you're in Malaysia. The
song, which promotes racial and
18
I curve
sexual tolerance, has been partially garbled
by the radio broadcasters in that countryspecifically, the lyrics "No matter gay, straight
or bi, lesbian, trans gendered life, I'm on the
right track, baby:'
Broadcasters claim their cautiousness stems
from government restrictions. In the past,
other artists like Beyonceand KylieMinogue
have either had their music or live performances toned down. However, some Malaysian
activists cry foul. Looks like the song's message
got lost in translation here.
zCJ
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Hip-HopHomos?
S2,
Step aside Oprah and Gayle-here
comes
the MissyElliottand KeriHilsonlesbian rumor
mill. After Sapphic gossip started swirling on
the Internet from a purported "insider;' both
artists took to setting the record straight.
Hilson claimed it was all lies, tweeting,
"How do those ppl sleep at night? I love and
respect Missy and her work, but we've never
worked [together] and I've probably seen her
five times in my life:' Elliott responded in
kind: "Girl, it amazes me how we
never worked together, and barely
know each other, but they make
up a full out lie:'
Readers, it's true: You can't
believe all the gossip in print.
Unless it's Lesbofile. ■
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June 2011 I 19
STARS
Summer Lovin'
Things get hot, heavy and full of Pride this June.
By Charlene Lichtenstein
Gemini(May22-June 21)
Expect the unexpected at work. A new office romance
could be brewing by the coffee station. Or perhaps
you're up for a big promotion? The real pay,off is
something that is totally behind the scenes. And that
means you might be caught off guard when all is
revealed. Avoid stealing office supplies until you
find out what is what.
Cancer(June22-July 23)
A particular selective dub or organization has its eye
on making you a member. This can lead to big things
for you-both important contacts and opportunities.
So keep your eyes and ears open for an important
message and don't stray too far afield. You want to
be ready to make your big move. How big is really
up to you.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Gemini(May 22-June 21)
All your hard work is finally recognized and rewarded.
SapphicTwinshavemany, Your creative ideas gain an audience and your pet
manyproudgal palsfrom projects become cultural trends. Proud Lionesses can
all walks of life. Sheis no now take control and make their voices heard. What
snoband is truly interested
will you do with all this power and prestige? Will you
in what makespeopletick.
spread your good cheer around or become a profes,
Forthis reason,you may
sional diva? Let's try and guess.
haveto shareher attention
with the immediateworld,
but it will be an interesting Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
and rewardingexperience. The best thing that you can do this month is to make
Hergatheringsare special yourself scarce. Take a well,deserved vacation and just
events,chock-a-blockfull of relax. If time is short and money is tight, find ways to
famousand not-so-famous expand your horizons closer to home. Even if your
folks exchangingsizzling luxury sauna is just a hot bath at home, it can be the
gossip,bon mots and escape you need to de,stress. Push the world later.
engagingideas.You'llfind
her wendingher way through Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
the crowd,whisperingin ears
June heats up to a rapid boil and so do you. Libras are
and hobnobbinghereand
especially sexy and alluring now and can choose any
there.Catchher if you can,
lovergrrl they want. But be discerning, Libra. Find
if onlyfleetingly,to hearthe
latest chit chat. the right woman. If you are already in a relationship,
move it up to the next level of intimacy. Do I hear
wedding bells?
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is
theauthorofHerscopes: It is possible to effect meaningful change in your life.
But you can't do it by yoursel£ And as luck would have
A GuidetoAstrology
it,
you won't be alone no matter how hard you try. Not
for Lesbians
(Simon&
only do you draw a crowd wherever you go, you also
Schuster)
(tinyurl.com/HerScopes).
Nowavailableasan ebook.
connect on a powerful level with certain admirers.
20
I curve
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
You are much more efficient than usual at work. And
while this is not the most exciting activity for June, it
will become a valuable time saver for you throughout
the summer months. You can even impress a certain
co,worker. Just think of all of those long lunches the
two of you will enjoy in July.
Capricorn(Dec.23-Jan. 20)
Fun is on your "to do" list this June. Find ways of
enlivening your life whether it is creating your
personal masterpiece or tossing a big bash that will
have your social world talking for months. Let your
imagination soar. You could also show how creative
you are with a special person. Why seek a crowd
when you can enjoy an appreciative audience of oner
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Handle any festering family issues this June and see
if you can improve relationships with even your most
difficult relatives. Then make your home the center of
activities for friendly fun and frolic. Anything you plan
or do will deliver luck and romance. Everything, that
is, except putting in new shelving in the basement.
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Not only can you envision the perfect sales pitch for
whatever you are selling,you can also deliver the message
with your certain special savoirfaire. Figure out what
you want and then just ask for it. You will get it-and
more. But don't be shy and procrastinate. Too, too
soon this splashy charm will evaporate.
Aries(March21-April 20)
Your intuition is not on target this June. Fortunately,
you don't really need to use it all that often. Just don't
react to anything unless it is based in reality. A not,
so,secret admirer drops the guessing game and makes
herself well known to you. Is it because you are so
sexy? Is it because you are incredibly generous? Why
ask why? Just enjoy.
Taurus(April21-May 21)
Gal pals are plotting and planning a surprise for you.
Act surprised when it unfolds. In the meantime,
don't wait for others. Get out in front of an adoring
crowd. Before you know it you will be glad handing
some remarkable ladies. Just watch where you put
those wandering hands, Taurus! ■
SCENE
GLAAD To Be Gay The GLAAD Awards are a welcome reminder
of our increasing visibility in mainstream culture.
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The 22nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in Los
Angeles was one of the most star~studded events of the
year. Among the many gay and gay~allied celebrities who
joined in the festivities with the Gay & Lesbian Alliance
Against Defamation (GLAAD) were Dolly Parton, Allison
Janney, Melissa Etheridge, Kirsten Dunst, Amber Heard
and Chaz Bono, who announced GLAAD's 'J\mplify
Your Voice!" public service announcement campaign to
combat the bullying of LGBT youth. Country music icon
Dolly Parton presented the Stephen F. Kolzak Award to
Robert Greenblatt whose career as a television executive
has resulted in gay~friendly shows such as Six Feet Under,
Queer as Folk, The L Word and United States of Tara. Sean
Hayes presented the Vanguard Award to Emmy and Tony
Award~winning entertainer Kristin Chenoweth, who
had publicly challenged a Newsweek article that wrongly
asserted gay actors cannot play straight roles. Other awards
went to TV favorites Glee,Modern Family,ProjectRunway
and the film I Love You Phillip Morris. The evening was
hosted by Amy Poehler and Rashida Jones from Parks
and Recreation.The GLAAD Media Awards honor media
for fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the
LGBT community and the issues affecting their lives. The
Awards also fund GLAAD's ongoing efforts to amplify
the stories of ordinary LG BT folks across the country
and the ongoing fight for full equality. (glaad.org)■
CJ)
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June 2011
I 21
The Lezzie Look
Can I love the ladies and fashion?
By Lipstick and Dipstick
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I'm a mess right now because I think I'm a
lesbian and I don't know what to do. Here's the full story: Last year, I
started watching RuPaul's Drag Race. I was oddly turned on by the fact
that all the contestants looked like women, but at the time I thought
nothing of it, because they were actually men. As the year progressed,
I found myself attracted to real women, but ones I didn't know, like on
TV (Hello, Jennifer Lopez!). This revelation has led to me to do poorly in
school and gain some weight because I didn't know who to talk to about
my sexuality. My parents say they love me unconditionally, but they
occasionally say things like "Quit being such a fag" or "You're so gay,"
so I don't know if I can count on their support. My other concern is that
the only lesbian I know has really poor hygiene, dresses like a man and
always smells bad. If I'm a lesbian, will I have to be like that? Because I
love fashion and makeup and stuff. -Konfused in Kansas
Dipstick:[Skimming the Lesbian Handbook]
No, there is nothing in here that says you must
stink or forgo fashion to be a lesbian. Dressing
in men's clothes is optional, but please be dapper
if you do so. Also, remember: Armpit, leg and
pubic hair is optional.
Lipstick:
If those things were true, Kansas, and
I had to be a Fozzie Bear to be a dyke, I'd probably be married to my high school boyfriend
and self medicating with Xanax by now. This
lezzie can't stand-wait
no, abhors-bad
hygiene. It's an absolute deal breaker.
Dipstick:
I agree. A tuft of hair here and there
is one thing, but a stank is another. We must
always shower, Kansas, not just to remove the
bicycle grease from under our fingernails, but
because we'll never get chicks like Jennifer
Lopez if we reek. Contrary to what you've
witnessed, dykes love fashion, too, even if we
get our ideas from GQ instead of Vogue.
Lipstick:Hear, hear! Let those preconceived
notions about being a lesbian swirl down the
drain with the bath water, Kansas, because the
only rule you should abide by after coming out
is: Be yoursel£ If you love fashion, strut down
the catwalk. If you love makeup, start your
own line of eye shadow. Once you meet other
dykes, you'll realize we are all different shapes
and colors-and,
apparently, emit different
odors. Lipstick prefers lavender.
good advice for you: Tell your girlfriend how
you're feeling right away, before you pursue
this. She may rage. She may cry. She may leave
you. But you must take the high road here.
Don't cheat. Be forthcoming and transparent.
For her sake and for all the lesbians who've
been burned by this phallic fire before now.
Consider it an energetic token of redemption.
Even though the heart wants what it wants,
six years is a long time and she deserves to
know why you've been so absent.
Dipstick:This has happened to, like, three
people I know recently. Take Charli, one of
the butchest lesbians I know. Last I saw her,
DearLipstickand Dipstick:I am in my 30s and she was growing her hair out and had some
I haveneverhadsexwitha guybefore.I havea pony-tailed, pleat-panted, Hawaiian-shirted
girlfriend
of sixyearsandI amfantasizing
about dude on her arm. It really makes me think
havingsex with men.I needhelp!-Petra the that sexuality is more fluid than we Kinsey
Six lesbians like to admit. How else can we
PenisPiner
explain straight women coming out in their
Lipstick:Holy latent-oly, yes you do. While I 50s; bisexual teens dating boys, girls, whatdon't have tips on how you can bag your first ever; hard-core dykes dating dudes after years
boner (did I just type that?), I do have some of running a lesbian separatist camp? What
22
I curve
~
a:
if:
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Lipstick & Dipstick ADVICE
song about! Nah, it couldn't be you-I've
met lots of dykes who roll this way. From
Lipstick's vantage point, most seem to
have abandonment issues. How was your
childhood? I think, besides the baggage you
might be carrying from your formative years,
what you may lack is true intention. When
DearLipstickandDipstick:I justbrokeupwith you dream about the future with each woman,
my girlfriendof almosta year.Beforeher,I had do you really intend it to come true? Or are
anothergirlfriend
forthreeyears.Andbeforeher, you already visualizing the end and then self~
I datedanotherwomanfor two.It alwaysturns sabotaging the rest of your time with each
outthe same:Wetalk aboutthe future,our life partner? While I do believe it's hard to find
together,and I'm into that for a while. But forever true love, I don't think that's what's
eventuallyI getboredandbreakupwiththem, going on here-that
you haven't yet found
leavingthemwith a big questionmark above "the one:' I believe it's deeper than that. Spend
their heads.Nowto my question:
Whydo I do some money on a therapist, and, until you
this to thesepoorwomen,and howdo I stop? tease out the issue here, stop making promises
-Bernadette the Bruiser
in the dark.
you need right now, Petra, is some sympathy,
and I doubt you're going to get that from your
girlfriend. Lipstick is right about one thing:
This is a lot to sort out-your identity, your
relationship, condom sizes-all the ins and
outs, so to speak.
Lipstick:Heartbreaki dreammaka; love taki
So, you're the one Pat Benatar wrote the
Dipstick:
Oh, so you're now a psychotherapist,
Lipstick? Analyzing this girl's childhood?
lliwles
I think the real issue here is not her absent
father, domineering mother or supposed
abandonment. It has nothing to do with
that new~age mumbo jumbo about intention
and visualization, either. Rather, what this
is about is, lesbians tend to go into every
relationship convinced that it's going to last
forever when, really, it usually plays itself out
in three months. Listen, ladies, every good
lay is not your soul mate. The next pretty
girl you meet, instead of visualizing, goal
setting, burning candles and meditating, get
to know her. Don't try to make her into "the
one:' Instead of following the advice of some
overpaid guru or celebrity author, remember
what works best for millions of people in
recovery: Take it one date at a time. ■
Tune in to curvemag.com/lipstickanddipstic
to watchthe The Lipstick& DipstickShow.
Or write to tv@lipstickdipstick.com.
roo~op (88:>
t-JCI JLPdrty
the biggest pride event for women
ADVICE Relationships
Long Distance Lovin' The Setup Squad's love guru Meredith Schlosser explains
how to survive and thrive in a cross-country romance. By Merryn Johns
According to a 2005 study, 3.5 million U.S.
married couples were in long distance rela~
tionships, approximately 4.5 million college
couples were in non~marital long distance
relationships (LDRs), and who knows how
many separated lesbian couples are languishing
across the nation? While absence makes the
heart grow fonder, it can also put love to the
test. Meredith Schlosser, from Logo TV's
new dating reality show The Setup Squad of~
fers her advice-and firsthand experienceon how to make an LOR work. Schlosser,
26, whose day job is vice president of
sales at Prime Real Estate New York
City, is in a long~term, long~distance
relationship with Randi Wishnow, 31,
president of Bailey Blue Clothing.
Whatqualifiesyouto giverelationship
advice?
I didn't grow up saying,
"I want to be a dating
coach;' but work~
ing with people
and giving advice
about love and rela~
tionships has always
been a passion of mine.
When the market crashed I
started working for an exclusive
fitness club as a membership sales
associate and as I was evaluating
members for training programs
we'd always end up talking about
their
personal
relationships.
People felt comfortable with me. I
started keeping mental notes and
slowly but surely I was matching
couples up.
Howdidyoubecomeinvolved
with
TheSetupSquad?
I met Renee [owner of Wings
Inc.] through a friend and started
working with her company on
the side. The production com~
pany, Leftfield Pictures, found
out about her company and
wanted to do a show on it. I
ended up interviewing with
24
I curve
the producers and the rest is history.
Whatwastheauditionprocess
like?
A lot of fun, they didn't put me through any
hard drills. They just wanted to know my
perception on dating and how I would help
people become "better" daters. They wanted
my advice as a lesbian on how to get into and
stay in a successful relationship.
Ofthefourteammembers
in TheSetupSquad,
youseemthe mostenigmatic.Whatqualities
doyoubringto theteam?
Positive energy and the ability to
relate to every situation. I cater
differently to each client. I make
it fun for them and help them
understand themselves better
and not ridicule them for what
they're doing wrong. I reassure
my clients and help them re~
alize that dating really isn't
that bad-they just need
to learn how to love
themselves and the rest
will fall into place.
Howdidyoumeetyour
girlfriend,
Randi?
Absolute fate and I
owe it all to curve
Personals! I was online
looking for women and
Randi-[who
was] in a
relationship-was
look~
ing for women with her
best friend who was single.
I started talking to her
friend but nothing came of
it romantically and we ended
up staying in touch. From the
moment I saw a picture of
Randi I thought, Now that
woman is my type! About a
year passed [and] the friend
told me that Randi broke up
with her girlfriend and she
was coming to New York on
business and that she wanted
to meet me. We met for drinks
and the chemistry was abso~
lutely magnetic.
You'rea nativeNew Yorker;Randiownsher
company
in L.A.Distance
wasanobstacle
from
thebeginning
yetyouwentahead.Why?
When I met Randi, honestly, nothing else
mattered. I was so attracted to her physically
and our chemistry was insane. We were having
fun, going with the flow and having such a
great time together. Obviously, as time went
on and we decided to become exclusive, we've
had more hurdles to overcome.
Onceyoudecidedthiswasa relationship,
how
didyouhandlethedistance?
Communication was the most important
factor. We used Skype all the time and would
talk on the phone as much as possible. We
were very considerate of one another's feelings
and made sure the other felt comfortable at
all times.
Howmuchfacetimedoyouhavepermonth?
We average about two weeks together a
month. Sometimes more depending on the
month and our work schedules. Randi is
in New York for at least 10 days out of the
month and I go to L.A. at least once a month
for a few days. We have never gone more than
three weeks without seeing each other in the
one and a half years we've been together.
Hasit becomeeasierovertime?
It's harder in the sense that I'm so in love
with her and a day without her is too much,
and easier in the way that I know her love
for me is unconditional and we both want
to be together forever. We count down until
the next time we're going to see each other
and always have trips planned together so we
have something to look forward to.
Howoftendoyoucommunicate
in a day?
We leave Skype on all day and all night. We
speak on the phone every morning, during
the day at least once quickly while we're at
work and Skype every single night before
we go to bed. We've pretty much spoken
every day since we met. We even spoke
every day when I was in Korea for my
brother's wedding. We still managed to talk
every day even with the extreme time dif~ ~
ference. We never go to bed without telling ~
each other we love each other. Even if we ~
have a disagreement we make sure to never ~w
ADVICE Relationships
go to bed angry. That's number one on the
list of rules.
Haveyoueverthought,Thisis toohard?There
areotherwomenoutthereandthey'relocal.
If I never thought "this is just too hard" I
wouldn't be human. When I look Randi in
the eyes while she's holding me and making
me laugh until I almost pee in my pants is
when I could tell you: No, it will never be
too hard. Randi has taught me how to love
myself unconditionally and has really shown
me that being in love isn't a fairy tale. I'm not
trying to tell you our relationship is perfect
and a fairy appears to sprinkle love dust on
us. We definitely have our own set of issues
that come up that we work on. We made an
agreement that our love is forever and the
good times outweigh the bad and splitting
up will never be an option.
Areyouworriedthattheglossmightwearoffif
youactuallylivedtogether?
Having obstacles to deal with once we live
together has crossed our minds and we've
talked about it. The anxiety we've had about
any type of gloss wearing off is the same
type of anxiety any couple has before they
move in together, even if they live in the
same city.
Howdoyouhandlea crisiswhenapart?
We physically try to be there as much as
26
I curve
possible. When I had a cyst taken out of my
breast last year Randi flew to New York to
be with me and take care of me. When her
grandmother passed away I booked a flight
to LA. the minute I got the phone call.
Obviously, it's not always that easy but we
bend a lot for each other as much as we're
able to. For situations that have to do with
work or family we talk to each other and we
get the other person through it. We prefer
to Skype for those type of situations so we
can feel like we're really together.
Do you fight and how do you
reconcile?
We definitely have fought and
I'm sure we'll have other fights.
Now we know how to handle
each other-good
communi~
cation and no crap. We have
promised each other that if
something annoys us or makes
us uncomfortable we need to
speak to each other about it first
and deal with it and not run off
and get everyone else's opinion.
Randidoesn'twantto leaveL.A.
andyoudon'twantto leaveN.V.C.
If beinga coupleis important,
whywon'toneof youbudge?
Randi owns a company that is
growing at a tremendous speed and I have an
active career at Wings Inc. and in real estate
that I'm very passionate about. All we want
to do is be together all the time but at this
point in our lives we need to be able to grow
our businesses and create more financial
independence for ourselves before we can
make a permanent move. Right now, we're
making the best of the cards we're dealt. We
won't be living like this forever I can assure
you of that. (logotv.com/shows/setup_squad/
seriesJhtml)■
10 Tips For a Successful Long-Distance Relationship
1 Tellthe personyoulove
them,morning,afternoon
andnight
5 Getto knowthe people
that areimportantto
them,especiallyfamily
2 Skypeas much
as possible
6 Leavelovenotesor
poemsin hiddenplaces
aroundtheir homebefore
youleavesotheyhave
somethingto lookat and
thinkof you
3 Sendflowers,cards,
smallgifts-surprise
them
4 Communicate
effectivelyandlisten.Be
honestanddirectabout
everythingyou'refeeling
7 Alwayshaveanother
trip plannedbefore
youleave
8 Tryto betogetheras
muchas possibleand
makesurethetime you
spendtogetheris quality
time.Havea lot of sex
whileyou'reat it
9 Alwaysbetherefor
thememotionallyeven
if youcan't betherefor
themphysically
10 Talkaboutyour
futuretogether
::,;:
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'."3
POLITICS
Not Over the Rainbow
Pride is more important today than ever. By Victoria A. Brownworth
Last June, I was asked in an interview: Isn't
queer Pride over? Aren't we living in a post,
Pride world?
In a word, no. The 21st century is definitely
post,modern in most Western countries, but
just as the election of a biracial president
in America didn't end racism, the fact that
queers have been mainstreamed does not
make Pride irrelevant.
Why is Pride still necessary? The reasons
are myriad: Because homophobia still runs
rampant. Because so many of us are still full of
self,loathing to the point of being depressed
and substance abusing and even suicidal.
Because LGBT teens are being bullied in
schools all over the country. Because the U.S.
Supreme Court stood up for Rev. Fred Phelps
and his Westboro Church fanatics and their
virulently anti,queer slurs in an 8, 1 deci,
sion in March. Because a group of lesbians
were set upon and assaulted for kissing in
public on Valentine's Day in both Peru and
Beijing. Because Human Rights Watch has
made Iran one of their top nations to watch
due to use of the death penalty against openly
lesbian and gay people. Because Don't Ask,
Don't Tell is still in effect and still prevents
American lesbians and gay men from serving
in the military openly. (Even though Congress
voted to rescind DADT in January, the law
does not actually get rescinded until 60 days
after the President and Joint Chiefs of Staff
agree that the troops can adjust, especially
in wartime).
We need Pride because the Defense of
Marriage Act is still in effect and marriage
equality still out of reach. We need Pride
because lesbians are being sexually harassed
at some of the nation's most prestigious
~ colleges, like Yale. We need Pride because
I
even the President himself has revealed his
~o bigotry in the marriage equality fight, noting
~ that he doesn't"believe" in same,sex marriageffi he has since said his beliefs on the subject are
~ "evolving:
~
Any one of these issues alone makes Pride
~ essential. We are still fighting for our lives, no
matter where we live, how old we are, what
race, gender or class we are.
Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" is a veritable
anthem to Pride, but how many teens-or
adults, for that matter-listening
to its
raucous lyrics actually feel them, believe that
we are indeed "born this way"? How many of
us actually believe that being who we are is
really OK, especially when so many laws say
otherwise and so many political and religious
leaders declare we are an abomination?
The fact is, Rev. Fred Phelps and his big,
oted little church speak what many other's
silently think: The placards that read "God
Hates Fags" reflect an internalized belief
many queers themselves believe. It's certainly
a sentiment many non,queers believe. And
those beliefs inform the national and inter,
national discourse, whether we want them to
or not.
How much of a difference is there between
President Obama saying he doesn't believe in
same,sex marriage and President Ahmadinejad
of Iran saying there are no queers in that
country? Aren't both men saying that queers
don't really have a right to exist as we are? Or at
least not equally with them?
How many parents in America and else,
where have turned their backs on their queer
children? Mine did. My wife's did. I was
expelled from my high school for being a
lesbian. I was denied my first apartment
because I was a lesbian. I was fired from
several jobs when I was outed as a lesbian.
Like so many other minorities, I was forced
into activism because I was denied equal rights.
Like the lyrics in Gaga's song, I believe I was
born this way. Like her, I don't believe God
makes mistakes. So my Pride comes from
that-knowing
that this is who I am, just as
it's who you are. And it's OK. In fact, it's good.
I'm seriously proud of who I am. Proud of
fighting for equal rights for my people and all
people. Proud of fighting for women's lives,
queer lives, the lives of the poor and suffering.
The question isn't if we still need Pride. We
do. The real question is whether we believe
in Pride.
Have we embraced and internalized
Pride? Are we able to believe Gaga's lyrics,
or our own banners and buttons? Or are we
still unsure of whether we deserve the same
rights as everyone else, the same protections
as everyone else, the same life as everyone
else? Until we can answer that question with
certainty, Pride is something we definitely
need, but not necessarily something we have
learned to accept. ■
June 2011
I 27
LAUGH
TRACK
Pride, Her Way
Comedy legend Kate Clinton shares her perspective. By Merryn Johns.
Kate Clinton has seen it all. With a career
spanning three decades she's been making
us laugh through eight presidential inaugu~
rations-and
the embattled advancements
of the LGBT community. For her always~
inspiring comedy and advocacy work she's been
awarded by the National Gay and Lesbian
Task Force, Lambda Legal Defense and
Education Fund, SAGE, as well as receiving
a GLAAD Media Pioneer Award. So who
better to wax humorously about the meaning
of Pride than the ever~popular, highly articu~
late Gay Pride grand marsh all herself?
Whatwasyourfirst Prideeventanddidyoua)
chant,"We'rehere,we'requeer
..." b) gotopless
withDykeson Bikes,or c) hopenoonespotted
youat themarch?
My favorite was the first N.Y.C. Dyke March
chant: "We're dykes. Don't touch us. We'll
hurt you:' Although at first I found it off~
putting, it became useful in big box stores
when I couldn't get service. I'd chant it a few
times and there would be an announcement,
"Customer care representative to Aisle 5. Now:'
Doyouwearrainbowcolors?
No. I had a bumper sticker that said, "Swallow
a prism. Shit a rainbow:'
Whatdoyoureallythinkoftherainbowflag?
except during TV dicker fights. I do the bar~
I like its cheery LGBT nationalism, especially becuing, I should get the dicker-of almost 23
if it says "Peace'' on it.
years. We're the marriage of comedy and trag~
If youwerea babydyketoday,whatwouldyou edy.And I'm not telling which is which.Turns
out we're the stable couple in our families.
looklikeandhowwouldyouidentify?
Euro~butch and it would be all about the Butyou'vesaidyoudon'twantto marryher.Are
suits, vests, ties, fedoras and a pretty lady on the restof us blowingthe marriagedebateout
of proportion?
my arm.
In 1997 you were featuredin the film Pride Heck, no. It has activated LGBT people and
Divide.Has the gap betweengay men and our allies. We support and have worked for
lesbiansnarrowedwhenit comesto beingout, the freedom to marry. And not to marry. It's
not a choice we want to make. And we could
fabulous
orachieving
equalrights?
My LGBT generation swings between sepa~ elope tomorrow.
ratism and collaboration. I'm cheered by the Whydo lesbiansget stuckon issuesof repreMostof usderidedTheL Wordwhen
younger LGBT generation, which seems sentation?
it firstairedandit'snowlesbianlore.
almost effortlessly co~gendered.
YouandUrvashi
Vaidhavespent22yearstogether. The gals bitched about The Kids Are All Right,
Youmustfeelprideaboutthat.
too. I'm happy we have things to fuss about. It
We're proud of and grateful for our loveused to be, "Lily Tomlin wore purple, discuss:'
2s
I curve
And we would for five years, until something
vaguely lesbian happened in the media again. I
hope the next big trend is Urban Lesbian Swat
Teams that terrorize legislators who prey on
poor women and children. I've designed the
uniforms if you'd like to see.
If youhadtocreatea PSAto promote
the"lesbian
lifestyle,"
whatistheonethingyou'dsharewith
thewholeworld?
The sex is divine. Try it. You'll like it.
ChristopherHitchensfamouslyargued that
womenaren'tfunny.Yourresponse?
As my mother would advise, "Do not even
dignify that statement with a response:' Jerk.
Howareyoucelebrating
Pridethisyear?
I'm the Gland Marshall in the 30th Noho, ffi
('.)
Mass. Pride Parade. It's an amends for joking 00
a:
for 30 years that Northampton should be 0
~
0
called "Critical Mass:' (kateclinton.com)
■
Lezzie
L.A.:
Whitney
(clockwise
from left),
Francine,
Romi,
Sajdah,
Claire,
Kacy
and
Cori
Meet the hot,
more diverse and
oh-so-scandalous
new cast of
The Real L Word.
By Rachel Shatto
30
I curve
ast year saw the premiere of The Real L Word, the docu-series helmed by The L
Word creator Ilene Chaiken. Following the lives of six out and proud lesbian Angelinos, it promised to be
a game changer: Real stories about real lesbians living their real lesbian lives-on
premium, no-holds-
barred cable, no less. It was a winning combination; after all, who knows drama better than dykes? But
despite its compelling concept and all the potential in the world, the show met with a divided audience.
Many loved the series for boldly focusing 100 percent on the lives of lesbians, while others struggled to
connect with the disparate story lines and were (vocally) disappointed by what they perceived to be a lack
of diversity. In the end, what could have been a groundbreaking, paradigm-shifting lesbian extravaganza
turned out to be yet another somewhat-entertaining reality show.
Fortunately, Showtime execs realized what we knew all
along: They had a series with enormous potential on their
hands-it just needed a little shaking up. Their answer was
to break away from individualized story lines and focus on
a cast of women whose lives intersect. For the sophomore
season, friends, ex-girlfriends and friends-of-friends come
together to form the cast. "By the end of season one, all of
their stories had overlapped and ... we sort of realized that
was a really rich area when we saw them interacting. This
season ... the stories are much more interwoven. I think it's
going to be a more dynamic season for that;' says executive
producer and Magical Elves cofounder Jane Lipsitz.
Lipsitz also explains that the first go-round was an educational experience, and the lessons learned have created a
new agenda for the series that will change the direction. "I
think what we learned from season one is that we did want
to tell a more emotionally raw story this season and that
also we wanted to do a series that really did feel authentically Showtime;' she says. "That's not just about having
more sex throughout the season-and
there is more sex
throughout the season-but
also in terms of more documentary storytelling style and pushing the boundaries of
what they're talking about in interviews and in scene. I'm
really proud of this season. I really feel like we took it to a
whole new level:'
But the most striking difference for returning viewers is
the cast. Of the six original women, only Whitney Mixter,
the wave-making and often scandalous heartbreaker who
brought the drama, sexiness and (most of all) realness that
audiences crave, is returning for season two. Lipsitz explains,
"Whitney was what we call a 'story machine: She just
drove the entire season. She's incredibly well-spoken and
she definitely represented the direction we wanted to go in
this season because she was someone who was emotionally
honest and made herself vulnerable. I'm sure the rest of the
cast wasn't surprised because she definitely emerged as a
big star last season. We're thankful for [the season one] cast
and they did an amazingjob and I enjoyed working with all
of them. But I just think there was a change in the direction
of the show that it just made sense that Whitney was the
only person that was going to come back:'
Queer women of color are also a prominent part of the
mix this season. "There was some backlash about that last
season and I think, as producers, you want to give viewers
that they would like to see. I think we listened to that and
we addressed it. No matter what, we're not going to cast
stereotypes. The diversity was something that was a priority
but it's a diversity that comes with amazing women who
have amazing stories to tell;' says Lipsitz.
With a sexy, new, openly queer cast, and a new, more
traditional reality TV format, season two is shaping up
to be more of what audiences have been craving: Sexy,
emotionally-satisfying lesbian drama. So, fire up those
DVRs, ladies.
THE VETERAN VIXEN
For lady-juggling special effects artist, Whitney Mixter, the
change in cast was bittersweet. "Season one I made a new
family. I'm still incredibly close with those girls, I love them
to death, I think they had a lot to bring to the show;' she
says. "I think in season two you're going to see it's a little
more fast-paced and I think that there's a lot of dynamic,
really important stories that are being told:' She promises
it's not the last you'll see of her Real L Word alumni. "You'll
see some of the past characters pop up now and again
because they are my friends:'
Last season, Mixter's arc primarily followed her lesbian
lothario ways. We watched her seduce, smooth talk and
creamed-corn wrestle her way through three simultaneous
relationships, earning her comparisons to The L Word's
Shane-a reputation Mixter is well aware 0£ "I think last
season I was definitely portrayed as the heartbreaker ... I
was single and I was trying to find out what I was ready
for. I think that this season you'll see more growth [but] I
definitely revert back to old ways sometimes:'
However, Mixter promises that this time we're going
to see another side, too, specifically her business savvy.
She recently broadened her career horizons with two new
June 2011
I 31
endeavors: A monthly girls' night, which has been hugely
successful, and she has also embarked on an eco-friendly
clothing line, Natural Artifacts.
But that's not to say it's all work and no play for Mixter,
who promises she isn't totally reformed."You'll definitely see
a lot of my love life but I do learn a lot more about who I am
as a person, outside of my love life;' she says, teasing. "But
have no fear, there's definitely a lot oflove life goin' on:'
But how much will the audience be privy to? Last season,
in one of the series' most talked about moments, Mixter
chose to open up her bedroom to the cameras. ''I've been
asked several times if I regret being so graphically sexual on
camera in season one, and my response is this: Would you
be asking me if I regretted it if I was a man? Because I'm
going to go ahead and bet that you wouldn't;' says Mixter,
adding, "I think it's a very important issue. It's Showtime, it
allows us the ability to show all aspects of our lives and that
is very much a part of my life: My sex life.
"I am a woman, I am a lesbian and if sex happens and if
I am with a partner who is as comfortable as I am with my
body and with being sexual, then I'm wanting to open up
that door to the public because I don't find it gratuitous, I
find it realistic and I think it's an important story to tell:'
THE REAL ROMI
Along with Mixter, one of the breakout stars of the first
season was Romi Klinger. A then-supporting character,
Klinger guaranteed her notoriety as the woman Mixter got
hot and heavy with on camera. For Klinger this actually
made getting in front of the camera a second time easier.
"I let my guard down with season one and I dearly had
sex on television, and I've been through a lot with the
cameras. I think that when I went into season two it wasfor me probably more than anyone else-very easy to go
there again because it wasn't the end of the world doing
that;' Klinger says. "I didn't end my life because I had sex
on camera or I cried on camera. People love me, they hate,
whatever it is, it is who I am. I do have sex, I am a lesbian I
do have emotions, I cry, I make mistakes and I'm not afraid
to show everybody that:'
Having caught audiences' attentions (and libidos), it's of
little surprise that this time around she's been added as a
full-time cast member. It's an opportunity Klinger relishes
if only to share another side of herself with audiences. "I
didn't have the opportunity to really be 100 percent me. I
was one of Whitney's girlfriends;' she says."So, when they
offered me the opportunity to do this, of course I was
excited and jumped onto it because there's a lot more to
who I am ... I'm a friend, I'm a daughter, I'm a lesbian, I'm
all these things:'
Last season left off with Klinger and one of Mixter's other
love interests, Sara, turning the tables on the heartbreaker
by hooking up in Palm Springs. But according to Klinger,
little came of their Dinah Shore weekend romance. 'i\.fter
32
I curve
season one, [Sara and I] became almost like sisters, we were
very, very dose. We did not have a sexual relationship-we
have we hooked up and was there maybe sex involved at
one point? Yes. But did me and Sara date? No;' she says.
This season, Klinger is making some significant changes,
saying goodbye to her party girl ways. "Through the show I
pretty much decided to do a really big change in my life and
kind of sober up and change the direction that my life had
been going in;' Klinger says. She's also in a new relationship
with her live-in girlfriend, Kelsey. However, she revealed
that her decision to make significant changes in her lifestyle
is putting strain on that relationship. "She's a young girl
who loves me very much and I think, honestly, at the time
when we got together I was in a place that wasn't the best
for a long relationship and what was not supposed to be a
serious relationship turned into one;' she says.
LESBIAN LOVE TRIANGLE
New York entrepreneur Claire Moseley admits that her
decision to move to L.A. was equal parts professional
and personal, pursuing closure with fellow cast member
Francine Beppu. "I moved out there for my career and I
moved out there for the fact that I'd been in New York
for eight years and it was just something that I'd always
wanted to do and I felt the time was now," she says.
"To say Francine wasn't a factor would be a lie, but she
definitely wasn't the only factor:'
The former associate producer at Calvin Klein is now
lending her fashion savvy to her new enterprise, AninitiaL
com, an online lesbian lifestyle and fashion magazine. In
addition to the complications of getting a publication off
the ground while trying to sort through the baggage with
an ex is Vivian, the girlfriend Moseley left in N.Y.C.-and
with whom she hasn't quite broken it off yet.
While it might be easy to judge Moseley for a"having her
cake and eating it, too" approach, anyone who has ever let
"the one'' slip away is sure to empathize. "There's so much
love in that relationship [with Francine]. Some people will
relate to it and see themselves in it and I think other people
might think that I was a bit selfish in trying to figure out
things with an ex while still kind of having a current girlfriend:' Moseley says. "I think it can go two ways ... I know
for me it was a very difficult decision to move out to L.A.
but in the end I'm happy I did:'
Still, it's never too early to pick out your"Team Francine"
or"Team Vivian'' tee.
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
Newcomer Francine Beppu's story this season is one of
transformation. "I feel a lot more comfortable in my own
skin;' she says. "I wasn't really out to everyone, especially
work wise:'
A business executive with NamiWave, Beppu moved
from New York to Los Angeles three years ago-leaving
behind her first love, Moseley-to begin her business (a
Red Box competitor popular in Hawaii and gaining ground
in L.A.) However, when the season begins, her love life
becomes increasingly complicated when Moseley moves to
L.A. to rekindle the romance. "It was very intense, we loved
each other a lot;' Beppu says of the relationship she moved
to L.A. to escape. "But it was so much drama and we were
very young back then. When I heard she was moving out
here it gave me a lot of anxiety. I didn't know what to expect
at all. It's really interesting to see what happens over the
course of the season:'
In addition to dealing with ex drama, Beppu is grappling
with the decision to finally come out to her family. 'Tm
Japanese, my mother is from Japan and my father is third
generation from Hawaii ... ! think being raised with Asian
parents you're always being told what to do, you always
want to please other people and I was always so concerned
about how others perceive me or how my actions reflect
upon my family;' Beppu says. "But at the end of the day
I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin and I'm so
thankful to have this experience. If I can help one person, if
someone can relate to my story I think it's a great thing:'
BABY MAMA DRAMA
When the second season of The Real L Word was green lit,
there were a couple specific stories its producers wanted to
tell this time around. At the top of that list was following
the journey of a couple trying to start a family.
When Kacy and Cori Boccumini heard that The Real
L Word was casting, they knew they were the couple
Showtime was looking for. ''I'd gotten a Facebook message
from a dear friend ... He said, 'I found out that The Real
L Word is looking to cast a couple who's looking to start
the baby making process;" says Kacy. "So, I quickly sent an
email and said, This is us, this is how we met, and here's
some pictures. And that night I showed Cori the pictures
I sent and she did not like them, composed her own email
and sent her own pictures and they called us the next day;'
laughs Kacy.
"It's crazy. It was perfect timing;' adds Cori. "We kept
saying, OK, we're going to start trying in December and
we'd get a little scared and we'd push it off for a couple of
months and we jut kept pushing it back. I'm thankful for
the show because it kind of forced us to stop being pussies
and really get it together and start, because it's scary.
June 2011
I33
Straight people are lucky: They [can] just get drunk one
night and, barn, 'Oh, OK, moving on, we're going to have a
baby: With us there's too much planning, so it's very easy to
say let's wait another month or two:•
'J\nd it's not as cheap as bottle of wine;' jokes Kacy.
The couple has been together for five years and legally
married for two. Kacy and Cori are one of the 18,000 couples
that married in California during the brief window of time it
was legal in the state, prior to the passage of Prop. 8.
Now, like so many married couples, the Boccumini's are
eager to start their family and share their story. "It's really
important for us to show the world, 'Look at us, we're girls
and we are so madly in love and we want this child and this
family and we're just like everybody else;" says Cori.
"It's good to show other lesbians like, Hey, look this is
not easy. This is some hard shit;' adds Kacy.
Kacy is also excited about representing for the butches.
"One of the things I have a hard time with is there's never
a butch-I understand butch in Los Angeles is hair in a
ponytail, but there are butch girls;' she says. "You can tell
from a distance that I'm a lesbian, and not that that's my
entire identity, but it's important to me, that's just how I
choose to represent myself in larger society. I joke with my
friends that I'm going to be the butchest person to ever be
on television:'
NEW QUEER ON THE BLOCK
Newly out (and newly butch) Sajdah Golde eschewed her
straight privilege the day she met a woman who changed
her life. "I just met a girl, I met a hot girl, I don't know, she
redefined my happily ever after;' says Golde.
For Golde, discovering she was gay changed her life over~
34
I curve
night."Once I realized that I was a lesbian-because I didn't
know-I had to be true to myself and that was my first
priority to make sure that I was true to me;' she says."So, as
soon as I recognized it in me, I came out the next day:'
It was just the start of some major changes in Golde's
life, which included the East Coast gal moving to L.A.
Interestingly, one of her baby steps out of the closet was
watching the first season of The Real L Word. "The summer
before moving to L.A. one of my friends suggested it, just
so I'd know what bars to go to;' she recalls. "When I was
watching the first season I didn't know what it meant to
be a lesbian so I gained a lot of insight on how to be with
a woman-that
was new territory. But now that I'm very
well in the life, the story is quite different. Life is different
for a relationship between two African American females,
as opposed to someone of a different nationality, because
we have cultural differences:•
The self~professed "rebel with a cause" is also deeply
involved with LGBT politics. An organizer working
with Vote for Equality, the legal arm of the L.A. Gay and
Lesbian Center, Golde goes out and speaks with voters
who were not supportive of same~sex marriage. "LGBT
politics is probably the most important thing going on in
my life right now;• says Golde."It's like the modern day civil
rights movement. And as a direct beneficiary of two very
powerful movements, seeing that I am African American
and female, I feel like it's my job to give back at this time.
But it's cool, I'm from the East Coast, I'm new to L.A., so
I'm finding my way around. I'm also a new lesbian, so I'm
learning how to walk again, you know?
"The thing for me is, I still remember straight privilege.
I still remember what it felt like to be a straight woman
so I want the audience to know that 17 months later I'm
still the same person, and because I'm that same person,
every right or consideration I had before I switched teams I
should still have today;' says Golde.
BIGGER, BOLDER AND BUTCHIER
With a diverse, dynamic and intriguing new cast, plus a
format that lends itself better to drawing in new viewers,
the second season of The Real L Word is poised to finally
live up to the series' potential-to
fill the vacuum left by
The L Word and tell real, multifaceted stories about out,
proud, captivating queer women.
Lipsitz gives us an idea of what to expect: "It's a fantastic
ride. I think there's a lot of humor, there's a lot of heart, it's
super~sexy and there's a lot of drama:•
But perhaps Golde says it best: "They should expect a
good time. It's everything they had last year and more. A lot
of fun, a lot of love and I think this season is a tad bit more
thought provoking than last season. Last year was real, but
this time we're reallygetting real. Let's get into the real heart
of things, things that really matter-not that sex and rock
'n' roll aren't important!" ■
-
GLB
=t=T
GBT Pride month is here, which means parades,
panels, parties-and
politics. For me, Pride in San
Francisco is more than just fun. I was an organizer of
the Trans March for two years, and have performed
spoken word poetry at the pre-march event. Last
year was my first time marching with Dykes on
Bikes. It felt like a women's movement event, not
just a queer rights event, which is why so many
straight women like me feel empowered by attending.
I was born with chromosomal and anatomical diversity.
It's a misconception to compare people like me to the gay
male drag queens who host Pride events-my birth challenge and medical condition are not gender expression.
When I go to T -specific events, I see more genderqueer
and transgender people than I do people born intersex or
transsexual but I am still an ally. We have similar issues,
namely that the government withholds our civil rights.
At many Pride events this year, even in major cities, a
separate stage will be designated for the TS/TG (transsexual or transgender) performers-it
will be smaller and
in a less prominent location. Production and talent will be
considerably less well funded. Joe Ippolito, a leader in the
Philadelphia trans communities, tells curve that he doesn't
have much hope for where the T stands when it comes
to LGBT Pride. "Last year, at the Pride parade, the outof-touch owner of the Philadelphia Gay News stood up in
front of hundreds of people and asked how many 'gay and
lesbian" people were in the crowd, but failed to mention
the B or the T. I stood there, annoyed and shocked. To be
honest, carving out a place for the Tin LGB space continues
to be a struggle, and Pride month is no different:'
I agree with Ippolito that using "gay" to describe an
LGBT coalition misrepresents the medical condition
called transsexualism, and gay-washes transgenderism
36
I curve
Are we serious about the Tin LGBT,
or does T stand for "token"?
By Ashley Love
altogether. Tracie Jada O'Brien, a transsexual woman
from San Diego, also finds it hard to carve out a trans
space in her city. "Thank god we have Transgender Day
of Empowerment in San Diego and TransPride in Los
Angeles-the
rest is just naked hot gay guys and overthe-top drag queens, dykes on bikes and a sprinkle of
lesbians:'
But it's different in some cities, especially San Francisco.
"SF Pride is very supportive of trans communities;' says
Luis Gutierrez-Mock, an organizer of the SF Trans
March. "They've contributed to the Trans March since its
inception, waiving fees for items they provide us and
always making room for our activities in the Civic Center.
Last year, their executive director was a trans person of
color. Last year, they also placed trans people in the first
contingent after the official Pride floats:'
I've posted a link on Facebook asking what the T in
LGBT Pride means to people. Many women with firsthand knowledge of transsexualism responded, saying that
their medical condition was not something to really"party"
about. They were fed up with the LGBT community and
mainstream society for equating drag queens, transvestites and genderqueers with people who have their birth
challenge. Sharon Gaughan, the editor and cofounder of
TS-Si.org, wrote:"The Tin LGBT is irrelevant to me on
a daily basis. Speaking as someone who is formerly transsexual, the all-encompassing Transgender umbrella was a
hindrance during my transition and a continuing obstruction ... in the path toward securing full medical recognition
for the transsexual birth condition. The Transgender Tis
perceived as a part-time lifestyle choice. I am full-time,
medically corrected and immersed in my daily life. I do
not live in a transgender ghetto. Ifl choose to involve myself
in lesbian organizational activities, it is because I have an
affinity for same, not because there is any connection to sexual people, transgender people and people of color in
my medical history:'
those riots is a fraud.
Pride occurs in June to honor the Stonewall Riots of
Alyson Meiselman, a transsexual woman and attorney,
1969, which catapulted the modern LGBT movement tells curve, "I think that it is time the parades cease, and
any fanfare, costumes or extreme
into existence. It was transsexual and transgender women in their place-without
of color who initiated those riots: Sylvia Rivera, a trans~ behavior-we simply walk silently around the government
gender woman of color, is credited with "throwing the first buildings that house the president, the governors, legisla~
tors, state high courts and the Supreme Court with a single
heel:' They were "guilty" of wearing "gender inappropriate"
clothing, which is the excuse the police used to exercise message that reads"IfNot Now, When? If Not Now, Why
Not? We Want Our Civil & Human Rights!"
their prejudice with violence. The police were surprised
Celebrating and partying is great, but Meiselman's
when the people at this bar decided to fight back!
At first, Rivera became known as The Mother of sentiments also ring true. If we want our civil rights, we
Stonewall and in the initial Pride parades after the riots need to rise up and take them. Sylvia Rivera would feel
was honored as an icon, and continued to advocate for the same way. ■
LGBT equality, and for those who were disenfranchised
and homeless. But over time, Rivera was brushed aside
by gay and lesbian elitists who deemed TS/TG issues
too radical for their classist and assimilationist agenda.
After the gay establishment had finished using her to
gain publicity, to raise money, it abandoned her, and
she died impoverished. The lesbian separatist, "radical
feminist" community excluded Rivera from women's
Reporting
on the
.
conferences, and she was even physically escorted out
theT "commu . :~Penences
of the "T" in theLGBT
.
of them on numerous occasions. She was banned from
sex-and/orge;ie,-:;;;:;~~:~~mmunity
butan ::~::~~~:::~~;~~.~•~use
the New York Gay Center for publicly and aggres~
groups,not onecommuni
emgsaremarginalizedIt's
. . w ere
sively asking those in charge to take better care of TS/
ty. Toput so manyseparategrou • . a coalitionof diverse
SuzanCookof theW
TG people and homeless people. Though she was
is intellectuallydisho~'::i°BornTranssexual
site coinedit .~~~\a boxlabeledT,or,as
ejected from the same movement she had helped to
andmedicalneeds.It co andlazy.It robspeopleof theirindivi ransge~der
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found, her spirit remained bold and true, and shortly
stripawaythe rights f nfus~sthepublicandhasallowedth du~/_social,
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before she died she said, 'Tm tired of sitting on the
whoseheterosexual~A~encansborntranssexual
or interseereligiousfar rightto
back of the bumper. It's not even the back of the bus
attackwith the bill SB;~age to herlatefallenfirefighterhus: s~c~as NikkiAraguz
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anymore-it's the back of the bumper. The bitch on
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li'anssexualismA
.
whereone's -:- medicalcondition
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lntersex-p
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how would she feel about the current status of
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the cries of LGBT people of color who are pro~
aremisrepresentedh
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Drag
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conusedwith fetishistsdr;agk.
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Today, the documentary Stonewall Uprising
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uatema
an
A New York-based entrepreneur unveils her
unique Central American wedding .
•
___
air
While same~sex sexual activity has been legal
in Guatemala since 1871, this Central American republic
is yet to legally recognize same~sex marriage.
But this didn't stop Mariel Acevedo, 42,
andJincey Lumpkin, Esq., 31
from holding a lavish ceremony, and the
first gay wedding, in Acevedo's homeland.
38
I curve
he couple began dating back in 2008
after meeting online. "We had our first
date at Soho House in N.Y.C. the day
after Valentine's Day;' recalls Lumpkin.
The boutique hotel and private club also
became the place where she proposed a year
and half later. "I decided to surprise Mariel and throw her
a birthday party. I pretended we were having a quiet dinner
alone, but some of her best friends were waiting for us at
the club. Burning a hole in my pocket was the diamond ring
I bought at Tiffany. On the way to dinner my hands were
shaking and my heart was beating so fast. I was sure she
suspected something, but she had no idea:'
While Lumpkin and Acevedo had a civil wedding on
August 30, 2010 in Greenwich, Conn., their big wedding in
40
I curve
front of family and friends would be in Antigua, Guatemala
in February this year. "It was a huge deal for Mariel to go
back home and be so public. I'm really proud of her for
coming out in such a big way;' says Lumpkin.
The wedding took place in a private, walled Spanish
colonial garden with distant views of volcanoes. From
inside the garden with its lime and avocado trees, fountain
and large pavilion, the toll of 50 nearby church bells could be
heard. It was a romantic setting for an unusual ceremony.
Because they had already said vows in Connecticut, they
asked a friend to do an Inca ceremony called a despacho, or
offering to Pachamama (Mother Earth). "The shaman gave
different elements to our friends and family, and then she
put them into a big paper which she folded, blessed and
burned, so that the ashes float up to Mother Earth;' explains
Cf)
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~
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u
~
Neo-colonial romance
(clockwise from left):
the candlelit venue, the
happy couple dance,
guests at the reception
and the ceremony
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had never been a gay wedding in
"It
was
ahuge
deal
for there
Guatemala before;' says Lumpkin.
Mariel
togoback
toher "We just wanted everyone to drink a
ton of Ron Zacapa, the best rum in the
home
place
and
beso world,
made in Guatemala. We wanted
them
to
and then dance a lot;' says
public.
I'm
really
proud
of Acevedo.drink
And they did. The entertain~
her
forcoming
out
in ment consisted of a band, circus perfor~
Guatemalan folklore displays,
such
abigway," mances,
mariachi bands and fireworks.
Acevedo. The non~traditional (at least in
Western terms) theme extended to what
the brides wore: Acevedo chose a look
she describes as Napoleon crossed with
Burberry, complete with velvet slippers;
Lumpkin wore an ivory dress adorned
with hand beading and a cathedral train.
"I also wore a veil which had always been
a dream of mine since I was a little girl;'
she reveals.
Theatricality was key, with the wed~
ding going by the description of The Love Explosion
Extravaganza. And it was epic: 225 dose friends attended.
"Mariel kept adding to the list, because so many people
in Guatemala were excited and wanted to come, since
The couple is now looking forward
to a long honeymoon in Greece and beyond that, to "live
a happy, healthy life together and spend as much time
as possible with our two beautiful chihuahuas, Marilyn
Monroe and The Mama;' says Acevedo. ■
June 2011
I 41
what does pride
mean to you?
We asked you, and here's what you said. By Jillian Eugenios
In a time where lesbian visibility is growing, Pride is the perfect time to put aside the dyke drama,
pick up a rainbow boa and march with your crew, be it a rally or just a stroll around the neighborhood-with hands entwined. Bonus points if you do it while singing "Closer to Fine" or something by
Peaches at the top of your lungs. And after all the glitter settles (and the hangover fades) it's also a
great time for reflection. Did Pride resonate with you? Do we still need Pride? Or, with more lesbians
on TV, the news, and in office, are we "over it"? Since only you can really answer that, we hit the
streets and the web to find out what you think. What we learned is that it still takes courage to have
Pride, and that the definition of the word is more varied than the colors in a rainbow flag. What's
certain is that Pride is linked to confidence, love, self worth and fun. So this year, whatever you do,
make sure to get your gay on. It's your right. Happy Pride!
"Believing
inyourself."
-Tony Neill,34,Burlington,
Iowa
"Celebration!"-Melissa
Jimenez,
30,Monterey,
Calif.
"Beinga dailyambassador
oftheLGBT
community
within
thelargercommunity
oftheEarthbystriving
to live
impeccably
andbytreatingotherswithcompassion."
-Jennifer Walford
Vann,33, Gainesville,
Fla.
"Pride:
Collective
nounfora groupof
lesbians,
i.e.,asfora flockofgeese,it is
-Kate Buckland,
30,
a prideoflesbians."
Wamberal,
NewSouthWales,
Australia
"Knowing
thatyouarea beautiful,
loving
person
whoisfullyhumananddeserving
ofequalrights,
andlikeanyotherAmerican,
youdeserve
tobelovedand
celebrated."
-Morgan Cecelia
Bowen,
46, ShellBeach,Calif.
"Walking
downthestreet,holding
handswithmytwofavorite
girlsandnotfeelinglikeI'manydifferent
thanthemanwalking
downthestreetholding
handswithhiswifeanddaughter."
-Jennifer Sieber,
32,SanDiego,Calif.
•
•
•
:
•
•
•
:
••
•
:
••
•
:
••
•
:
:
"Beingableto
holdthehandof
theoneyoulove,
lookintohereyes
andtell heryou
loveherforthe
worldto hear,
knowandfeel."
-Lucy Leone
Cabrera,
44,New
Rochelle,
N.Y.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Tofeelequalandproudof yourself
as
a person,
andto showotherswhoare
scaredthatit'sOKto bewhoyouare.
You'reneveralone."-Stephanie Sarti,
23, Reading,
Penn.
June 2011
I 43
. "Everything!"
: -Eva Svedsen,
39,
•
: Copenhagen,
Denmark
••
•
••
••
•
••
••
••
••
•
••
••
•
••
•
•
••
•
:
••
•
•
••
•
44
"Beingproudof beinga lesbiananda mommy.Being
strongenoughto teachmy 17-year-olddaughterabout
acceptanceof others,no matterwhattheir beliefs,and
that acceptance
of othersis whatmakesyoubeautiful.
Weareall the sameno matterwhomwe love."
-Tina Trotter,
37,Manteca,Calif.
"Loving,
accepting
andcherishing
myself." :
•
-Lindsey Shingler,
27,KansasCity,Mo. •
"Pridebringsourcommunitytogetherto celebratewhat
is uniqueandexciting.It's a chanceto seeoldfriends,
meetnewpeoplefromall overthe worldandexperience
somethingamazing.It's the onetimeof the yearwhere
yougetto bewith othersjust likeyourselfandfeelfreeto
bewhatyouare."-Leanne Cornell,34,Ontario,Canada
"Beingme."-Victoria Gray,40,Auckland,NewZealand
"Prideis beingableto finallysay,'Youaredifferent
butthat'sa goodthing.'Prideis beingableto show
affection
to mygirljustlikethecoupleinfrontof us."
-Rebecca Lewis,32,Duncansville,
Penn.
I curve
•
"Pridemeansstanding
upforyour
rightto beauthentic
evenwhen
it's uncomfortable.
Thinkofyour
lesbianism
as something-like
mydarkskin-that youcan'thide
fromotherswhenit's inconvenient,
evendangerous
to beLGBT.
Pride
andcourage
areinextricably
intertwined."-Cole Thomas,
50,Hampton,
Va.
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Kl 1422
In South Africa, in the shadow of brutal murders,
lesbians show their Pride. By Lauren Barkume
A public demonstration of Pride is perhaps most important in places where being LGBT is
the ultimate transgression, and is punishable by death. Which is what makes these images of
the seventh annual Soweto Pride March, South Africa on September 25, 2010 so remarkable.
The march was held in the location of the brutal murders of two lesbians four years ago,
and the ultimate goal of Soweto Pride has become to ensure that lesbians in the township
no longer fall victim to such vicious homophobic attacks. Soweto Pride was initiated in
2004 by The Forum for the Empowerment of Women (FEW) as a political act to celebrate
and give visibility to all identities. Held annually, it includes a protest march through
the residential and business areas of Soweto and afterwards, community, religious and
political leaders are encouraged to address the crowd and denounce hate crimes. Political
and cultural programs, including workshops and exhibitions, celebrate the struggles and
victories of African lesbians. (few.org.za)
46lcurve
Pride and
bravery in
the streets
of Soweto,
South Africa
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June 2011 I 47
48
1
curve
frameline
grandsponsor
~
at&t
premiersponsors
SANFRANCISCO'S
char/esSCHWAB
SKYY
VODKA.
here the bois are
Callingall masculine queers! Experience a retreat that allows you to shed labels,
exami e assumptions and cultivate strengths. By Laniaya Alesia Hoofatt
A • le over a year ago, the very first group of Brown Boi
roject (BBP) leaders arrived at a large purple mansion
in Oakland, Cali£-an
auspicious beginning despite the
fact that three months earlier none of them had heard
about the organization, and it had no website. These
young leaders came from across the country, and from
the disparate fields of fashion, social justice, entertainment, academia, the culinary arts-even from the streets.
The Brown Boi Project is building an army, a very queer
and super-bad army, of young leaders who are poised to
change the world.
Founded in 2009, The Brown Boi Project encourages
leadership development and community organizing. It
brings people of color-masculine-of-center
women,
queer men, transmen, two-spirit people and straight
men-together in the same space to challenge assumptions
so I curve
and conventions, and to transgress the boundaries of masculinity. As a term, "masculine-of-center" recognizes "the
cultural breadth and depth of identity for lesbian/ queer
womyn who tilt toward the masculine side of the gender
scale;' explains Cole B. Cole, BBP founder and director,
who used her experiences working with straight men and
her research as a graduate student at the London School
of Economics to form the basis of the Brown Boi Project.
"The term includes a wide range of identities, such as
butch, stud, aggressive, tom, macha, boi, dom, etc:'
Positive representation is important for any cultural
group, but it is vital to the work of the Brown Boi Project,
whose mission is to break down the often negative perceptions that accompany an identification with masculinity.
BBP leaders are grouped into cohorts of 16 and selected
from a pool of applicants that has exceeded 100. "These
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leaders have so much to learn from each
other and in turn so much to share with
the broader world;' says Cole.
Enzi Tanner applied to the Brown Boi
Project because he wanted a meaningful
leadership development opportunity that
extended beyond the traditional Western models he had
experienced; one that was centered on his experience as a
person of color. He wanted an opportunity to engage in
conversation with queers of color and discuss the meaning
and true perception of masculinity within the community,
as a transman. "The biggest thing I learned from BBP was
ways of looking at my masculine privilege;' says Tanner,
"the realization that until I am willing to transform my
masculinity, those who are oppressed because of my
masculinity can never be liberated, myself included:'
Malachi Larrabee~Garza,
a BBP faculty member,
explains that each individual is selected for a specific
cohort. If they are selected, the Brown Boi Project covers
all their program expenses. Attendees just have to show
up-open
and ready to think about cultivating their
potential for leadership.
A good example of a young leader's openness to chal~
lenging assumptions is Jay~Marie Hill, a member of the
inaugural cohort, who was confronted with her masculinity
while living in other countries. "I visited South Africa in
the summer of 2009 and had the peculiar experience of
passing as a guy there about 50 percent of the time. The
trip was meant to be part of my research on a senior honors
thesis about theater, but it ultimately became about gender
and my relationship to it;' says Hill.
Originally, Hill thought of her masculinity only as part
of her athleticism but embraced it after traveling to South
Queer cohorts: Brown Boi
Project participants find a
deeper Pride in their masculinity
Africa and attending the BUTCH Voices
National Conference. Those two experi~
ences opened her eyes to masculinity in its many forms,
leaving her eager to learn more about what she now sees
as her inherent masculinity.
Hill believes that everything she learned from BBP has
equipped her and other Brown Bois to be trailblazers
because of their life experiences and unique perspectives
on the world. For example, she learned to embrace her
masculinity while climbing the ladder to success.
"BBP, and specifically Cole's example, helped me see that
there were lots of other people like me-nontraditionally
gender~conforming, successful in an academic sense, and
reflective about it-[ who are] struggling and searching
[for] a place in this large community;' says Hill.
Word is spreading about BBP's unique mission, and
applications are flooding into the organization. "There
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"I found a community of
people that I spent my
whole life searching fortalented, supportive and
beautiful people who are
working toward the same
end goal I am."
June 2011
I 51
were not any organizations that were dealing with what
we're trying to do. The butch identity is often seen as
two~dimensional, but it is a lot more than that;' says
Joe LeBlanc, the founder of BUTCH Voices and its
Resource Development chair. "They are doing some
amazing work:'
Most leadership development programs focus on one
particular aspect of life, but the Brown Boi Project covers
several. Many of the Brown Bois find community and family
while strengthening their valuable life~skills. Sessions are
filled with deep conversation about race and gender, but
participants are also trained in personal finance, fundraising,
community organizing, self~care, networking, communi~
cations and health.
Many Brown Boi alumni describe feeling vulnerable,
alone or exposed while out in their community, and unable
to explore those feelings until they attended the retreat. "I
found a community of people that I spent my whole life
searching for-talented,
supportive and beautiful people
who are working toward the same end goal I am;' says
Micah Domingo, who was in the August 2010 Cohort. "I
went from feeling incredibly alone to discovering a broad
network of Brown Bois who span the globe, all trying to
uplift themselves and their communities. I immediately
put what I learned into practice when I got back home,
and formed deeper connections with those around me:•
There is a consensus among the Brown Boi alumni that
before they went into the retreat no one knew what to
expect. The BBP did not issue agendas beforehand. But
after the retreat, the participants are confident, audacious
and courageous in how they present their masculinity.
They no longer see their identity as a setback, or a fault.
To them, masculinity is a unique identifying marker,
allowing them to be bolder in every aspect of their lives.
They see the BBP as a powerful outlet for creating change
and transforming the way people think about masculinity.
In just over a year, the Brown Boi Project has trained
70 leaders, ages 35 and younger. Yet as Cole says with a sly
smile, "This is simply the beginning:' (brownboiproject.org) ■
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52
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A rare look at lesbians living in China's
capital city. By Cedric Spilthooren
lovers /
beiji-ng
54
Icurve
7
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
••
•
•
••
•
•
••
•
••
•
Ice+ Ke u
Ice:21,onlydaughter,webdesignstudent.
"I havenottalkedto my parentsaboutmy
sexuality."
Keyu:30,Englishteacherdivorced
,
mother
of a daughter."Wehavebeentogethersince
January2009.Wedo not livetogetherbut
we wantto. Onlyoneof ourfemalefriends
knowsaboutus. I havenottalkedto my
parens a ou my sexua1 . wou I e o
beoutto everyone,
includingmy parentsFor
.
the Chinesegays
, do notexistandwherethey
existtheyaresometimesconsideredsick.The
gaycommunityis beginningto be morevisible
in majorcities.Attitudesarechanginga little,
especiallyamongyoungpeoplewhoarenot
alarmedby ourwayof life."
June 2011
I55
• Xiao Ying + Yao
•
•
Yao:22,onlydaughter,
journalismstudent."Wemet
two yearsagoat university.Thisis ourfirst love.We
wantto livetogether,buya house,havea dognamed
Patton... the nameof theAmericangeneral... I have
nottalkedto my parentsaboutmy sexuality,but I
will-but not beforeI'm 30. I knowthey will not
acceptit [but]we believethat attitudeswill change."
Ran+ Wen
Ran:21,onlydaughter,studentin TCSL
(teachingChineseas a secondlanguage).
"I havenottalkedto my parentsaboutmy
sexuality.I think it will be difficultfor them
to learnandfor meto tell them,but I do
notwantto hidemy sexualityandwho I
am.Someof myfriendsknow,not all.Two
of themlearnedthat I wasa lesbianand
hateme now.Wewereclose."
Wen:23,onebrother,studentof business
in Londonfor six years."Wehavebeen
togetherfor six months.Welivedtogether
whenwe metin Beijing.Wedo notwantto
marryto hideour homosexuality
as some
Chinese
lesbiansdo.Wewanta realmarriage.
I havenottalkedto my parentsaboutmy
sexuality,but I'll do it in the nearfuture
becausetheyneedto know."
56
I curve
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WIND
YOUR WAY INTO THE HEART OF
SANFRANCISCO
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important as our beautiful views, great food and extra leg room. Whether enjoying a three-course
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seats,Amtrak®invites you to embracethe moment.
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Amtrak, Acela, Acela Express, Enjoy the journey, and Amtrak Guest Rewards are registered service marks of the National Railroad Passenger Corporation.
Iden+ Jane
Iden:22,onlydaughter,
worksin
thejewelryindustry."I talkedto my
parentsaboutmysexuality.Mymother
askedmeif I wasa lesbianbecauseI
usuallybringfriendshomeandmost
of myfriendsare lesbians.I told her
yes.Shesuspectedit already."
Jane:21,onlydaughter,
finance
student."We'vebeentogeth
anda half.Wemetonthe I
Mostof myfriendsknow
sexuality.Manyof them
havenottalkedto my
mysexualityandI do not
will. Theyareverytrad'
will notacceptit. Mypare
longertogetherbut•
becauseof me."
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ss I
SANFRANCISCO
CELEBRATION
AND PARADE
sfpride.org
JUNE 25
JUNE 26
,t- .·•,:_·";--.
•
SATURDAY
-
1. '
•
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•.
•
.
..
T
SUNDAY
•
lesbian
magazine
THANKS ALSO TO OUR SPONSORS
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AD SPACE GENEROUSLY DONATED BY
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, \
Flashback to the
'80s: Poolside
at Jersey's
Key West Hotel
jersey girls
Remembering a landmark lesbian venue.
By Patricia A. Post
It was the early 1980s and Asbury Park N.J. was the pop~
ular, if inconspicuous place for gay and lesbian bars. When
three local businesswomen gave new life to the abandoned
Albion Hotel, they created the Key West Hotel, a place to
unwind, meet friends, future loves, party, swim or dance
the night away without the pressures of the heterosexual
world. For the majority of women, the hotel offered the
only means of interaction with other lesbians, since being
gay was still taboo. The Key West Hotel would eventually
become the 1980's most popular club for New Jersey
lesbians, and possibly the oldest lesbian venue of its kind
on the East Coast.
It all began in the early 1970s when lovers and
California transplants Carol Torre and Camille Neto
settled in Asbury Park and met Kay San Fillippo, a bar~
tender at a small straight bar which featured a weekly 'gay
day:' The three women were frustrated with the over~
all conditions and treatment of lesbians at the gay
dubs in Asbury-to
have a bathroom that func~
tioned was a rarity and some of the women's bars
excluded gay men, even if they were friends of
the women patrons. So, Torre, Neto and Fillippo
decided to open their own bar.
"In the beginning we just wanted a bar that didn't
demean women and take this attitude that you have no other
choice because you're gay;' explains Torre."We wanted a bar
where people would be treated respectfully. If women came
in with a guy, the guy was welcome. They didn't have to
60
I curve
grovel because we were nice enough to give them a bar:'
The women opened The Owl & Pussycat, on Main
St. in Asbury. "The Owl," as it became known, was a
success, so when the opportunity arose in 1981 for Torre
to purchase the nearby deserted Albion Hotel, she could
not refuse. Torre saw its potential, despite the fire damage,
broken windows, dated interior, antiquated plumbing and
electricity. Convincing Neto and Fillippo was another
story. When she took them to see the hotel, they thought
she'd lost her mind. "They both cried and said, 'This is
a joke, right:'"' Torre recalls. But she convinced them to
throw caution to the wind.
Renovating the hotel wasn't easy, but the women were
determined-and
resourceful. An old dining room was
converted into a disco and a smaller bar was created in
the lobby. They constructed tables for the restaurant but
other furnishings came from auctions: Tables and chairs
for the disco, and bar stools for the lobby bar came from
the Playboy Club in Manhattan; the disco bar came from
a local Italian restaurant and the beautiful bar in the main
lobby from a New York City restaurant. Although the
women were meticulous about renovating the interior, the
hotel's exterior was foreboding. But they preferred it that
way-if the outside was appealing it would attract straight
couples and locals from the nearby biker bars.
In 1982 the Albion was ready for its second life and was
renamed the Key West Hotel. It became more than a hotel:
It was a community of women who shared friendships,
Like NowhereLise
holidays, softball games, bowling, pool tournaments, picnics, birthdays and
holiday parties. There was something for everyone. If dancing downstairs in the
once famous Rainbow Room or upstairs in the Over the Rainbow disco was not
your thing, you could relax in the quieter Owl & Pussycat lounge, shoot a game
of pool or get acquainted with a potential love. In
summer, the Floridian pool was the perfect place to
cool off. Occasionally, the Rainbow Room gave local
gay musicians a chance to play for the hundreds of
women who filled the hotel's dance floor on summer
weekends.
For many New Jersey gay women, the Key West
Hotel was the beginning of becoming comfortable
with their identity. Going to a lesbian bar for the first
time could be frightening for young lesbians. Torre
instructed her staff to be aware of women with a
"deer~in~the~headlights" look and go the extra mile
to make them comfortable. For some, the hotel was
home-literally. At any given time as many as fifteen
women resided in the studios, large apartments and penthouses in the hotel. If
you were too merry to drive home, rooms were available free of charge.
But by the end of the decade there was trouble in paradise. Rumors about the
Asbury waterfront redevelopment circulated and many believed the hotel had
closed. Other gay bars opened, especially in northern New Jersey. But it was the
AIDS epidemic, rampant during the late '80s, which threatened the establish~
ment. Not much was known about how the disease was spread, which caused
paranoia. "By 1986, I had women afraid to go into the pool because they heard
a guy had been in there;' says Torre. "People no longer wanted to drink out of
glasses. I had to switch to plastic:'
With the imminent redevelopment of Asbury Park's waterfront, the hotel's
days were numbered. New Year's Eve 1989 was the last hurrah for the Key West
Hotel and its doors closed forever. Torre took it in her stride. "I felt I was at the
end of my l0~year stint. I have no regrets. It was a good time-a time that we
could never recreate:'
That time saw a generation of lesbians became comfortable with their
sexual orientation and many formed lifelong friendships and relationships.
Unfortunately, the hotel was demolished in the mid 2000s as part of the rede~
velopment and has been replaced by blacktop. Most young lesbians who stroll
by the site are not aware of the community that existed just a few short decades
ago. But to those who remember, Joni Mitchell's lament, "They paved paradise
and put up a parking lot" really hits home. ■
From solo to social: Singles
can eat, drink and make
merry with Olivia
62
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0 <!>
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W///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
AT
One solo lesbian finds that when it comes to
cruising for company, it's plain sailing with Olivia.
By Kathy Beige
ON THE
HIGH SEAS
or years, going on an Olivia cruise was on my
bucket list. It seemed like something every
lesbian should do in her lifetime-like shaving
her head, getting a tattoo and following Ani
Difranco around for a summer. It just didn't
feel like my lesbian card would be fully punched
until I set sail with the ladies of Olivia. So, when I got invited
to join them on their Caribbean Halloween Cruise in 2009, I
about jumped out of my board shorts.
I would be traveling alone and as the sail date got nearer, I
started to get nervous thinking about walking onto a ship full
of lesbians all by mysel£ I am a pretty outgoing person, but I
also know what it's like to feel lonely in a crowd of people.
Well, the women of Olivia know that too, and for 20 years
they've perfected the art of lesbian travel, including traveling
for singles and solos. I now think traveling solo is probably
the best way to travel with Olivia.
I've been on a total of four Olivia vacations, but that first
one I took by myself holds a special place in my heart. It was
with a little bit of fear and lesbian bravado that I made my
way to the pre-sail social hour in my hotel the night before
my first cruise. Like walking into a lesbian bar all alone, it
took some courage to venture down into the hotel lobby
packed with dykes who all seemed to know one another. And
as it turns out, a lot of them had met either on other cruises
or on the Olivia message boards in the months previous.
June 2011
I 63
I got my Corona and looked around for a friendly face. I
was standing there, trying to look cool, but feeling awkward,
when a woman from across the room pointed at me and
gestured for me to come over. I looked over my shoulder to
make sure she was talking to me. Because I didn't know what
else to do, I made my way through the
UPCOMING
crowd to her group of friends.
OLIVIA CRUISES &
She told me she recognized me as
RESORT VACATIONS
a writer for this magazine and then
2011
introduced me to her friends. I'm
usually bad with names, but lucky for
July 2-9
Barcelona to Rome Cruise
me these three women were all named
on the award-winning
Barb. I planted myself on the couch
Windstar Windsurf
between two of them and from that
Aug. 17-24
moment on, I never felt alone again.
Romantic Danube
The Barbs invited me to join them for
Riverboat Cruise
dinner, on excursions and to sit with
Oct. 29-Nov. 4
them during the shows. I would later
Enchanted Hawaii Resort
find out that this is just the Olivia
at the 5-star Mauna
way. I honestly can't think of a place
Lani in Kona
where I've met friendlier women.
Dec. 3-10
But leaving nothing to chance,
St. Martin Island Paradise
Olivia has a very well~planned solos
Cruise on the award-winning
program. Ignorantly, on my first trip,
Windstar WindSpirit
I didn't take advantage of it. One of
2012
the coordinators kept asking me if I
Jan.29-Feb.5
was traveling alone, but since I wasn't
Western Caribbean Cruise
single, I didn't think the solo group
was
meant for me. It's true that a
Feb.4-11
Costa Rica &
large percent of the solo travelers are
The Panama Canal
single (at least when they start out on
the trip) but it's open and welcoming
May 5-12
Cancun, Mexico Resort
to anyone traveling alone, regardless
of relationship status.
June 20-27
On my next trip, I decided to take
Splendor of Scandinavia &
Russia Cruise
full advantage of the solos program.
64
I curve
The coordinators greeted me the moment I walked onto
the ship with a solo dog tag and the week's agenda. At the
first meet and greet, 300 women showed up. Some were
clearly on a "find a girlfriend mission;' but most were just
glad to be in a sunny climate, surrounded by lesbians and
looking to make friends and meet interesting people. We
played some "get to know you" games, which did feel a
little like speed dating. "Where did you say you were from
againt"Oh, I met you five minutes ago, sorry:' I can't seem
to remember anyone's name. Am I a bad lesbian?
Gina, the solos coordinator tells me some of her tricks
for remembering names. Beverly has brown hair. B for
brown. B for Beverly.Joan owns a boat. Boat-Joan-the
middle two letters are the same. Oh, forget it! Why can't
we wear nametags all weekr
The solo travelers have events all throughout the week,
social hours, pool games and parties. Surprisingly, there
seems to be little stigma associated with the solo tag. I've
even heard of coupled travelers offering to buy them.
I think meal times are probably the most intimidating
for anyone traveling alone. Who wants to be that person
who sits at dinner all by herself, surrounded by tables of
laughing womenr Fortunately, Olivia has a special seating
area both at dinner and for the nightly shows for solos. And
in each port, solos can partake in excursions specifically for
them. My favorite was in the jungles of Belize, floating on a
tube on a river and through a cave.
I hung out with the solos when I wanted to, and it was
nice to know I could always meet up with them when I felt
alone, but overall, I found all of the women of Olivia to be
more than just friendly and welcoming, I've actually made
some good friends who I still stay in touch with and visit.
There are many ways to vacation and see places like
Cancun, Alaska or Hawaii, but a big part of traveling is the
people you meet. And I can think of no nicer a group than
the women of Olivia. (olivia.com) ■
he trend in Southern food is getting hotter than Georgia asphalt, with five-star restaurants in big cities
featuring menu items like shrimp and grits or pork-laced turnip greens alongside their haute cuisine.
Those who really know their food, though, can tell you that the best Southern-style cooking isn't in any
upscale restaurant. It's all about the napkin-soaking BBQ mile-high biscuits with sawmill gravy and
sweet potato pie, some of the best of which is served in small-but-friendly spots along the highways and
in proud Southern towns. Part of the experience of eating at a Southern diner is in finding it, and some of
the real gems are the restaurants you'll spot as you travel. Look for places where the locals eat, with in-state vehicles in the
parking lot (trucks are a good sign). A posting of daily specials is a hint that the food is fresh. If you' re traveling this summer,
be on the lookout for your own hidden treasures, or do your belly a favor and swing by one of these recommended eateries
(and tell 'em curve sent ya.)
BIG FATTY'SIN KNOXVILLE,TENN.
Owner and chef Lisa Smith isn't surprised that Southern
cuisine has turned trendy in big cities: "They're just gettin'
caught up to what we've always known:' The lesbianowned soul food restaurant speaks to Smith's philosophy
that diversity is important-"from
the flavors on the plate
to who's in the room:' While there's diversity a-plenty on
Big Fatty's menu, the focus is decidedly Southern, from
the slow-cooked, spice-rubbed pork loin to the hefty po'
boy sandwiches. The onion rings are a don't-miss itembattered-to-order rings of thinly-sliced sweet vidalia onions
with the distinct twang of buttermilk in the breading.
Wash it all down with a cold beer from the fridge or a glass
of sweet tea-"Sweet tea is the house wine of the South;'
declares Smith.
LEO AND SUSIE'S FAMOUS
GREENTOP BAR-B-Q IN DORA, ALA.
Located right on the highway about 20 miles
west of Birmingham, the unintentionally
retro roadhouse has been serving up its
legendary smoked pork since Truman was
in office. Though Leo passed away in 1997,
66
I curve
Susie is still very much in charge, with her son and grandson
manning the pits and mixing up the celebrated sauce. The
menu is mainly barbecued smoked pork and chicken in
various combinations, but you'll want little else. A little
of Susie's creamy cole slaw and a cold drink, plus Tammy
Wynette on the jukebox, and you'll be in hog heaven.
THE FLYINGBISCUITCAFE IN ATLANTA,GA.
The Flying Biscuit is true to its Southern roots, serving
up classic fare like fried chicken and collard greens or
cornmeal-dusted fried green tomatoes along with fun
fusion dishes like a Coca-Cola BBQ-glazed salmon. As
the name indicates, breakfast is where the restaurant really
shines. The famed biscuits are phenomenally fluffy and
skyscraper tall, the perfect accompaniment to an order of
egg-topped turkey hash.
Be sure to allow for extra
time after the meal to
visit Outwrite, Atlanta's
famed LGBT bookstore,
which is mere steps away
from thier popular midtown location's door.
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MAMA DIP'S KITCHEN
IN CHAPEL HILL, N.C.
Start reading off the list of
side dishes at Mama Dip's
restaurant and you'll think they're the words to a James
Brown song: Collard greens, black~eyed peas, okra, rice and
gravy. Mama Dip herself is almost as famous now as the
food she's been serving up since she opened a restaurant in
the '70s with $64-of which $40 was for the food and $24
to make change. She uses what she calls the "dump cooking
method" (no recipes, just dump it in) to make Southern
specialties like chicken and dumplings, spicy catfish gumbo
and country~fried steak. Call ahead and Mama Dip will
pack you a picnic basket for the road.
HENRY'S SOUL CAFE IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
The nation's capital may be packed with museums and
memorials, but you can learn almost as much about our
country's culture just by tasting one bite at Henry's Soul
Food Cafe. D.C:s regular folk line the sidewalks in front
of this small, cinder block joint for soul~infused specialties
like turkey wings with homemade stuffing, mountainous
portions of collards and perfect pork chops smothered in
~///////////////////////////
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thick gravy,plus old~school favorites like a
fatback breakfast platter. Henry's is take~
out only, so tote your meal to Dupont
Circle, where the central fountain is not
only a historic gay rights landmark, but also one of the best
people~watching spots in town. ■
SOUTHERN MENU LEXICON
Here's a crash course in menu items you might find
below the Mason-Dixon line.
Sawmill Gravy Thick,
white, peppery gravy. The
traditional accompaniment to
biscuits.
Chow-Chow The chutney
of the South: a pickled,
cabbage-based condiment.
Try it on pinto beans.
Red-Eye Gravy Made from
pan drippings deglazed with
strong black coffee, often
served with salty country
ham.
Cracklins Crisp-fried bits
of pork skin used to flavor
vegetables or cornbread.
Hot Brown An open-faced
turkey sandwich covered in a
Bechamel-style sauce. Also
called "Kentucky hot brown."
Country-Fried Coated in
buttermilk and cornmeal
or flour and fried (usually
without egg). Countryfried catfish and okra are
common.
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I 67
II,
PRIDEAT
30,000
Eight airlines making the friendly
skies even (gay) friendlier.
By Yana Tallon-Hicks
FEET
ne of the first things you do when planning a getaway is to book a flight, and
with ticket prices steadily rising, you'll
pay a pretty penny just to get from Point
A to Point B. It's always a bonus when
you can spend your hard-earned cash in
support of a company that supports you, so when booking
that next flight, use an airline that gets our rights right.
It makes sense to list UNITEDAIRLINESfirst, as United
was the first U.S. airline to tailor a national ad campaign
to the lesbian and gay market and to announce domestic
partner benefits for employees. It was also one of the first
to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation, and
has been on The Advocate's list of"good companies for gay
and lesbian employees" since 1999. (united.com)
AMERICANAIRLINES'LGBT travel website launched
in 2005, and they invite us to "fly with a friend while you
vacation with a partner:' A.A. was also voted one of the
Best Places to Work for LGBT Equality by HRC in 2008.
(aavacations.com/rainbow)
SOUTHWEST and DELTAhave jumped on the online
LGBT-bandwagon, offering special travel deals and
featuring top gay getaway destinations in special LGBT
travel sections on their sites. Southwest's employees have
also marched in Washington D.C:s Capital Pride Parade.
(southwest.com/gaytravel, delta.com)
68
I curve
VIRGINAMERICAand BRITISHAIRWAYSare the official
airlines of San Francisco and London Pride. A step in the
right direction for B.A. whose March 2006 snafu with a
gay couple nearly landed them in court (a flight attendant
allegedly tried to hide a cuddling male couple with a blanket
but the airline apologized and the suit was dropped; they've
sponsored London Pride ever since). Virgin America,
was nominated by Gay.corn's readers as one of the top
LG BT-friendly airlines of 2009. ( virgin-america.com,
britishairways.com)
JETBLUEalso made the HRC cut, earning a 100 percent
rating in its Corporate Equality Index for the last two
years. And according to Lesbian Histories and Cultures,
edited by Bonnie Zimmerman, Virgin Atlantic have been
offering gay-targeted travel deals since 1995. (jetblue.com)
SAS It doesn't get much more LGBT-friendly than
Scandinavian Airlines, so if you are headed to this liberal
and sophisticated part of Europe, enjoy SAS's unbeatable
open-minded humor and hospitality. (fiysas.com)
For a dyketastic long-haul laugh, book your seat on AIR
NEW ZEALAND'sannual Pink Flight, which flies from San
Francisco or Los Angeles to Sydney's queer Mardi Gras.
The always-sold-out-LGBT-themed party flight, featuring
on-board drag queen performances, music, contests,
queer film screenings and all-star hosts the likes of Kathy
Griffin. (airnewzealand.com) ■
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REVIEWSMusic Watch
LuckyTiger
L.A.-based power pop trio EZ Tiger rolls the dice on success after its debut release. By Maria De La 0
Like most aspiring but unheralded musicians,
Tina DiGeorge, Kristy Mcinnis and Tina
Pascual often dreamed of getting their big
break. Trying to nudge their dreams forward,
they came together to form the indie rock band
EZ Tiger. After only three live performances
(and lead singer Di George had a case oflaryngitis to boot), their big break came a-knockin'
in the form of Scott Bennett, a keyboardist
and producer for the iconic Beach Boy
Brian Wilson.
"I was kind of skeptical;' admits
drummer Mcinnis, who works as a freelance TV producer by day. "The music
industry people say a lot of things, but
don't always mean what they say. So
when Scott said, after seeing us perform just that one time, that he wanted
to produce our record, I was skeptical
about the sincerity of his statement. At
the time, I knew nothing of his musical
70
I curve
background. I just thought, 'Well, we'll see if
he calls us back: However, Scott did call us
back, and I thought, 'Wow-this
guy isn't
joking. This might really be happening:"
Her initial uncertainty was quickly replaced
with a profound sense of gratitude-and
excitement. "Scott has integrity and is deeply
passionate about music. It was an amazing
experience and an honor to work with such
a talented producer;' says Mcinnis. "It just
all seemed to fall together so effortlessly. A
real blessing:'
"We've all said this is the band that we wish
we'd had all along;' says lead singer and guitarist DiGeorge, describing the short, sweet
life of EZ Tiger. It's a lineup that's changed
by one third since the recording: Bassist Tina
Pascual left the band and was replaced by
Anna Maria Rosales. Of Pascual's
departure, Mcinnis says, "We had
just finished the album and wanted to
do more. She just didn't want to put
in the commitment. It was the worst
timing, but it was for the best. Anna
is a way better bass player-a real bad
ass:' She added, 'J\.ll of us really trust
each other's musical instincts:'
For bass player Rosales, who sang
backups on the album, playing in
EZ Tiger is a welcome change from
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being the token female in a band-a
position she has often found herself in.
Rosales, who taught herself the bass at
age 19-and then replaced the bassist in
her boyfriend's band-says, "(Men are]
a little more lax about things. The girls
work really, really hard:'
And work they have, turning a lucky
break into a genuine opportunity.
Just a year after "the girls" met Scott
Bennett at Echo Park's Taix 321 Lounge,
EZ Tiger had finished its self-titled debut
album, produced by Bennett at the legendary Sunset Sound recording studio
in Hollywood, and it was garnering rave
reviews in the local press.
"Scott got our music. He knew what
to do with it-he didn't overproduce it;'
says Mcinnis. Di George adds, "He didn't
mess with our sound, just captured it
and brought out aspects of it. He's done
everything he said he would do, and for
free, basically:'
Soon after the album dropped, the
band was featured in Music Connection
magazine's "Top 100 Unsigned Bands"
list. "It's been fabulous;' says Rosales of
the reaction from the music industry and
fans alike. "We didn't expect the reviews
to be so (positive ]-they really embraced
w the album and really liked the songs:•
~ Everyone, it seems, loves the EZ Tiger
~ sound, which belongs somewhere near
~
[;j the Pixies or The Breeders, but vocally
~ hits closer to Ben Gibbard of Death
Cab for Cutie. DiGeorge describes her
~ singing voice as "vocal androgyny"-and
!§' it mirrors her androgynous looks. (Both
DiGeorge and Mcinnis are gay. And
~ their sexuality influences EZ Tiger's
~ lyrics, which are primarily penned by
~ DiGeorge.)
~
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Despite their being on the verge of hit~ ting it big, for now all three women are
~
s keeping their day jobs. But, fingers crossed,
~ they're looking forward to a time when
~
music pays all the bills. "One of these days;•
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says Di George, 'Tm going to say,'I don't do
~ anything else. This is all we do: That's what
0
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"Music industrypeoplesay a lot of things, but don't alwaysmean
what they say.So when Scott said he wanted to produceour record,
I was skeptical...Scott did call us back, and I thought, 'Wow-this
guy isn't joking. This might reallybe happening'."
WhoYouAre
JessieJ
WillYouMarryMe?
RachaelKilgour
(Universal
MusicGroup) (Self-released)
Walls
AnHorse
(BMI)
Ohland
OhLand
(EpicRecords)
If auto-tuned
hotties
Thereis something
gleefullyreminiscent
havewornouttheir
welcomeonyourMP3 of thefemale-driven
player,thenJessieJ,
musicof the mid-'90s
the bisexualR&B(soon- in Rachael
Kilgour's
to-be)sensation
isjust newalbum.Perhaps
whatyou'relooking
it's that it's infused
for.Putsimply,the
with a DIYspiritbutit's
girl canwail.Herfirst
alsouniquelyfeminine
in thewayso muchof
albumWhoYouAreis
a 13-trackhit machine. the musicwasin Lilith
Fair'sheyday.Rich,
Infact,"Doit Likea
Dude,"thegenderskillfulinstrumentation
bendingreggae-tinged backsKilgour'smelodic
rapcoretrackthatfirst andsubtlyquavermadelezzieearsperk ingvoiceonstandout
upandtakenotice
tracks"Snowplow"and
hasalreadyhit No.
"DirtyGirl."Plus,the
outsinger-songwriter
2 onthe U.K.charts.
isn'tafraidto infuse
Thesoulthrowback
"MammaKnowsBest," personalpoliticsinto
showcases
JessieJ's
hermusic.Thealbum
astounding
vocalrange is namedfor a song
andthe instantathat is equalparts
neouslycatchyalbum celebration
of her
closer"PriceTag"
grandparents'
60-year
marriageandhercomsummons
visionsof
warmsummernights, mitmentto marriage
dancingandgood
equality.Thisis the
times.WepredictWho perfectopenlyqueer
YouAreis thealbumto fit for fansof Joan
beatin 2012Grammys. Osborne
or LisaLoeb.
(universalmusic.
com)
(rachaelki!gour.
com)
Returning
for their
secondalbum,Walls,
AussieduoKate
Cooper
andDamon
Coxcontinueto refine
theirsound,a synergy
of atmospheric
indie
pop.Cooper
wrotemost
of thesongswhile
adjusting
to hernew
homein Montreal,
throughboththejoyof
a newgirlfriendand
theshockingillnessof
a familymember,
the
resultof whichis songs
infusedwith longing
andmelancholy
told
throughhercleverand
confessional
lyrics.It's
thissadness,
juxtaposedwithspunkypop
attitude,plusCooper's
charmingbutquirkily
accented
voice,that
makefor anaudibly
pleasingdissonance.
Theswankyleadtrack
"Dressed
Sharply"is
TheKillersmeetsTegan
andSara,andtitletrack
is delightfully
odd.
(bmi.com)
Likeso manyartists,
Denmark
nativeOh
Land'scareersprang
fromadversity.
Trained
in ballet,herhopesof
beinga professional
dancerwerecut short
bya spinalinjury.But
afterrealizingthat
herloveof danceand
singingwereinspired
bythesamepassion
for music,sheemerged
fromthisdarktime
reinvented.
OhLand's
sophomore
self-titled
albumis twinkling,
etherealandirreverent
trip-hopwitha dance
edge."Perfection,"
a
beat-driven
orchestral
song,underscores
OhLand'senchanting,
soaringvoiceand
thethrobbingdance
floor-friendly
"SonOfa
Gun"landedOhLand
a NewNowNext:Brink
of Famenomination
fromLogo.If youlike
Sia,Poeor Portishead,
you'llloveOhLand.
(epicrecords.com)
June 2011
I 71
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Lone Star Pride
Everything is bigger in Texas, including lesbian reality 1V. By Jillian Eugenics
"People in Texas are full of pride;' says
Debbie Forth, creator of the new lesbian
series LezBeProud, which follows two lesbian
couples as they live their lives, out and proud
in the Bible Belt. ''I've always been out and
proud of who I am. We just love the state of
Texas, even though it doesn't love us back:'
LezBeProud follows Forth and her partner
Dawn, as well as a second couple, Kristi and
Lauren. The series was inspired by Forth
who, sitting down to watch other lesbian
reality TV shows, saw that she wasn't rep~
resented. "Our lives include homework,
soccer practice and work. I tossed the idea
[of LezBeProud] around in my head for some
time. Meanwhile, the idea of same~sex mar~
riage and the opposition to our lifestyle was
constantly in the media. This negative press
left me questioning, 'Where's my voicer Who
721curve
Same-sex marriage and the opposition to our
lifestyle was constantly in the media. This negative
press left me questioning, 'Where's my voice?
Who would understand my family and my view?'
would understand my family and my view?"'
Viewers of the first season can expect a
front~row seat to Forth and Dawn's upcoming
wedding, which she promises will be quite
the affair-they've rented a villa on beauti~
fol Lake Travis in Austin with 75 guests in
attendance and a fire theme, symbolizing the
passion behind their "fairy tale" romance. The
couple will even take their vows in front of a
30~foot slate wall with fire and water cascad~
ing behind them.
Other storylines of the show include
Kristi's reconciliation of her religion with
her sexuality. The daughter of a Baptist
minister, and a former youth minister herself,
Kristi sees the show as a mission to "help
the youth of America see that there are true,
good professional women out there living a
a:
healthy lifestyle with love around them and g
acceptance; it's not all hatred:' We'll also meet ~
Kristi's partner Lauren, who is originally from ~
Saigon and has just begun to reconnect with il:
her family. Forth's partner Dawn is a Marine
who works for the U.S. Government,
and she is not out at work. The show will
follow Dawn's experience of her sexuality
becoming known to the world.
For Forth, it's important to show an
alternative lesbian lifestyle to that of par~
ties and drama so often depicted in reality
TV. "Maybe it's boring, but it's real life.
We date, and raise the kids, and have this
normal, everyday family. We believe it
takes an army to raise these kids. I'm so
feminine, I'm a business professional, I love
family. I don't go to bars, I don't have time
to go to Dinah Shore because I'm running
a household and a company. I don't have
time to party, and when I do I want to do
it with my family:'
Forth insists that LezBeProud is for the
whole community and encourages viewers
to be part of the project. Fans can share
their stories on the LezBeProud site, which
Forth hopes will contribute to the diver~
sity of the series. "People have criticized
that there isn't enough diversity. To us,
diversity doesn't just mean black or white.
I can't tell a person's story; I can only tell
my story. I hope our stories relate to other
people. But if it doesn't relate to you, go to
the website and tell your story. Be a part of
this cast:' ( lezbeproud.com)■
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FemaleSexual
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is a pill, ointmentor
surgicalprocedure.
However,
its opponentsbelieveFSDis
a fabricatedaffliction,
createdto cashin
on billionsin profits.
Speakingwith pharma
reps,FSDopponent
LeonoreTiefer,Good
Vibrations'Carol
Queenand,most
heart-breakingly,
with Charletta,
a
healthymiddle-aged
womantakingpart
in the clinicaltrial for
the "Orgasmatron,"
an electrodethat is
insertedintoherspinal
column,OrgasmInc.
asksa lot of poignant
questionsabout
femalepleasureand
howour healthis being
commodified.
The
resultis LizCanner's
fascinating,funnyand
ultimatelydisturbing
documentary.
(firstrunfeatures.
com)
Comprised
of nine
award-winning
films
froma varietyof
film testsincluding
Sundance,
Frameline,
Outfestandfeaturing
anagreeably
diverse
castof women(both
ethnically
andin age),
HereCometheGirls3
is a highlyentertaining
anthology
of lesbian
shortfilms.Highlights
includeI AmJin Young,
anengaging
Korean
shortfeaturinga precociousprepubescent
girl
whoselifeandviewof
sexualitychangewhen
hermotherbrings
homeherhottomboy
friend;thequickand
sexyTrophy
in whichan
EllenPagelook-a-like
babydykeseduces
herfather'snew
trophywifeandPublic
Relations,
a charming
upbeatromantic-comedyshortin thevein
of ImagineMe& You,
whichfollowsthe buddingromancebetween
two overworked
personalassistants
who,
afteryearsof talkingon
the phone,aresuddenly
in thesamecity.
(peccapics.
com)
TrueBlood:
TheComplete
ThirdSeason
(HomeBoxOffice}
TheOwls
(FirstRunFeatures}
Queerin every
sense,TheOwlsis a
A not-so-guilty
pleasure, moody,atmospheric
mockumentary-style
seasonthreeof True
noirmurder-mystery
Bloodfeatures
more
directedby NewQueer
of the romance,
dark
Cinematrailblazer
humorandtitillation
thatmakesthisshowso CherylDunye.Starring
alongsidepioneers
watchable.
Pickingup
like Guinevere
Turner,
whereseasontwo left
off,Sookieis searching V.S.BrodieandLisa
Gornickaretoday's
for herundeadbeau,
queerindieupstarts
Bill.Assisting
herin
and
investigating
thevamp- DeakEvgenikos
nappingis newcomer SkylerCooperwho
playa murdervictim
Alcide,whois-of
course-a werewolf. andthe mysterious
Andtherestof theBon strangerwhoshows
up on theirdoorstep,
Tempscrewhastheir
respectively.
Midway
handsfull withtheir
throughthe film, the
owndrama.Vampire
lesbianqueenSophie- actorsbreakthe fourth
Anneis upto herusual wallandbeginspeaking
asthemselves
about
illicit shenanigans,
howeverthe vampire their roles,motherhood,agingand
authorities
(think
SpanishInquisition)
are owls-both the featheredkindandOlder
closingin,Tarahasa
from
new,ill-advised
lover, WiserLesbians,
whichthe film takes
andLafayette
getshis
groovebackwitha hot its name.Experimental
andoh-soarty,it's a
Latino.Plus,vampire
uniqueplatformfrom
Pamfinallykicksthe
whichto observeand
innuendo
to thecurb
analyzethe film's
andgetsherlezon.
themes
of isolation,
Soapy,sexysouthern
fearof agingandloss
dramaat itsfinestof identity.
andqueerest.
(firstrunfeatures.com)
(hbo.com)
June 2011
I 73
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
DividedWe Stand
One lesbian couple shares their struggle with love across borders in Torn Apart. By Philippa
Fallingin lovewith someonefrom another country can make life complicated,especiallywhen
U.S. immigration laws do not grant bi-national LGBT couplesthe same rights as heterosexuals. A new book revealsthe heartacheof couples
torn apart by the law, and one woman shares
her story.
My relationship with my partner, Inger,
who is from Colorado, evolved very quickly
nearly three years ago. It was clear there was
something between us when we talked for
nine-hour stretches on the phone or the webcam. When we met in person in Denver, the
chemistry was overwhelming. When I looked
into her eyes, I didn't understand it, but I saw
forever. Inger's daughter took to me immediately and our family started to take shape. I
have made trips to the U.S. from my home in
Norfolk, U.K. and they have made two trips
to the U.K., but as I sit typing this, we haven't
seen each other for seven months. This is the
74
I curve
longest we have been separated
and it has taken its toll on us
emotionally
and physically.
After months apart, we will spend
two weeks together at the cost of $2500, just
for the privilege of the flights. Our lives are
built on hellos that we know always have a
goodbye attached.
"I am left upset and
confused because I am
not seen as worthy of
loving an American simply because that
American happens to
be of the same gender."
It never ceases to amaze me how little
Americans know about the discrimination
happening in their own country. Not only
are they surprised when I have to leave because Inger cannot sponsor me, but they are
ignorant of the fact that I risk being turned
away at the border as I could be perceived as
an overstay risk. My alien status is another
example of the denial to LGBT Americans
of the 1,138 rights afforded to heterosexual married couples because same-sex
partners cannot legally marry on a federal
level. It doesn't seem to matter that LGBT
Americans pay the same taxes as everyone
else. If you don't fit into the definition of
marriage defined by DOMA (Defense of
Marriage Act) you don't deserve the same rights.
People talk about "special rights" and how gay
people are making a fuss by
wanting to be treated "differently:' I can't agree with
that. When I come into
America, I risk being treated
as a criminal, a flight risk,
somebody who may have
to justify their visit in terms
other than that of a loving
relationship. Weve been doing
this for nearly three years and our love hasn't
faltered-it grows every day. How can it be
wrong to love like this?
By much of the world, America is seen as
a country of progression and power, yet it
will not allow a portion of its citizens the
basic civil rights that all people who abide
by the law should be given. As the alien in
this situation I am left upset and confused
because I am not seen as worthy ofloving an
American -simply because that American
happens to be of the same gender. America
talks about other countries and how they
need to change their discriminatory laws,
whilst seemingly bowing down to religious
institutions at home that preach judgement
and condemnation of anyone that doesn't
choose their path. Being gay isn't a choice.
FairyTale Endings Three stories of getting the girl-in
Thebookopenswiththe death
of Ash'smother,Elinor,who
dieswhenAshis young.Ash's
first contactwiththe mystical
creaturesaroundherhappens
the nightof hermother'sburial,
whenAshkeepsa vigilover
Elinor'sgrave.Ash'sfathersoon
remarries,
thenalsodies,leaving
AshandHuntress,
MalindaLo
Ashasthe indentured
servantto
(LittleBrown):Writingfiction
a cruelnewstepmother
andtwo
aimedprimarilyat teenscan
stepsisters.
Growingup nearan
limit anauthor'saudience,
enchanted
wood,andpossessing
however,
openlylesbianwriter
MalindaLa'stwo books,Ashand powersthat graduallyunfold,Ash
Huntress,
areperfectexamplesof bideshertime in unfurlingher
freedom.Asthe storybuilds,so
well-writtenfictionthat canand
doesthe relationship
between
shouldcrossoverbetweenYA
andadultsciencefiction-fantasy. Ashandthe youngHuntress
Herwritinghasbeenrecognized Kaisa,whoteachesAshabout
manytimesin the lastfew years. femalefriendship.Soon,Ash
beginsto dreamof a different
In 2006,shewasawardedthe
futurefor herself,andwhenshe
SarahPettitMemorialAwardfor
is offeredseveralwishesfromthe
Excellence
in LGBTJournalism
shemustdecide
bythe NationalGayandLesbian fairySidhean,
in whichdirectionherfuture,and
Journalists
Association
andhas
herdesires,will turn.
beena finalistfor theWilliam
Huntressis a prequelto
C.MorrisYADebutAward,the
Ashbutthetwo bookshaveno
AndreNortonAwardfor YA
charactersin common.Instead,
ScienceFictionandFantasyand
Huntress
takesplaceseveral
the LambdaLiteraryAwardfor
hundredyearsbeforethetimeof
Children's/Young
Adult.Shealso
Ash,in an erawhenmagicwas
receiveda nodfromKirkusin
morecommonin the land,and
2009for BestBookfor Children
contactbetweenhumansand
andTeens.
othercreaturesis strained.It is
La'sfirst novel,Ash,is a
lesbianretellingof the Cinderella upto two teenagedgirls,Taisin,
a sagein training,andKaede,a
storyfromthe perspective
futurewarrior,to savethe human
of Aisling,betterknownasAsh.
Neither is falling in love. Yes-what we do
with the feelings we have is a choice, but
that choice is between being happy or settling
for something less, which will never truly
fulfill us.
We decided we had to be public with
our situation, even though there are obvious
risks. But how do we change anything if
we hider We are actively encouraging other
bi~national couples to tell their stories, as
our voices alone won't be enough to change
anything. I was approached by author Judy
both fantasy and reality.
world.Thetwo areselectedto
embarkon a journeyto Tanlili,
thefar off city of the FairyQueen,
to fulfill a mission,whichwill
bringsunshinebackto theirown
lands.Alongthe way,theyare
severelytestedbyforcesthat
aimto destroythem,including
packsof savagewolvesand
demonicbabies.AndthenTaisin's
originalmysticalvisionof the
trip, in whichsheforesawa love
bloomingbetweenherandKaede,
beginsto takeshapedespiteher
ownresistance.
Fansof fantasynovels,
includingreaderswhoare
fondof workslike TheGolden
Compass
andthe HarryPotter
series,will appreciate
the worlds
that MalindaLohasso carefully
constructed.
Herabilityto populate
theseworldswith compelling
younglesbiancharactersis an
addedbonusthat curve readers
will especiallyenjoy.(hachettebookgroup.com)
forayintoa full exposurecoming
out,Hollywood-style.
Bygoingon
a Sweetcruisewith herpartner
of manyyears,participating
in
the lesbianwebseriesWeHave
to StopNow,andappearingon
TheTodayShow,Baxtercame
out in a blazeof glory.TheFamily
Tiesstar,an actorwith many
years'experience
in movies,
on stageandin otherbeloved
televisionshowssuchas Family,
wasstartledbythe warmreception herannouncement
made,
andwasthusinspiredto tell her
life story.Andit's a goodone.
Growingupwith a self-absorbed
actormotheranda narcissistic
andunpredictable
stepfather,
Baxterlaysbarehertroubledhistoryof childhoodfamilyinstability,herownyoungmotherhood,
multipleunhappymarriages,
alcoholism,
survivingbreast
cancerand,finally,
creatinga happy,
supportiverelationshipwith Nancy
Untied:
A Memoirof Family,
Locke.BothBaxter
Meredith fansandthose
Fame,andFloundering,
simplylookingfor an
Baxter(CrownPublishing
Celebrityautobiographies inspiringcomingout
Group):
talewill enjoyUntied,
arenotusuallywellthoughtof
wheregirl meets
by bookcritics.However,
actor
girl,everyoneis thrilled,andthey
MeredithBaxter'snewbook,
reallydo livehappilyeverafter.
Untied,is an exception
to this
(crownpublishing.
com)
rule.Baxterbeginsthe bookwith
a prologuethatcapturesher
[RachelPepper]
Rickard, via Facebook, after she had read
an article I had written about being in a
bi~national relationship. She felt that our
story was one that needed to be included
in the book, Torn Apart: United By Love,
Divided By Law, so after a discussion with
Inger we agreed to be interviewed. We were
treated with respect and given control over
our story. We hope that the book will open
the eyes of American citizens who do not
know about the discriminative immigration
system in their country.
I refuse to overstay visas and live a life in
hiding. I don't want to bring our daughter up
in a world of shame. I want her to be raised
in a loving environment where we can show
her that she can be whoever she wants to be:
The only limitations imposed are the ones
she places on hersel£ America isn't my home;
the U.K. isn't my home either. My home is
wherever my wife and child are with me and
I hope one day soon our life together can
begin properly. ( tornapart.findhornpress.com,
stopthedeportations.com) ■
June 2011
I 75
REVIEWSFood
Cool Beans
Meet Jackie Mendelson, lesbian coffee entrepreneur and altruist. By JD Disalvatore
If you're not sure whether a Tanzania
Peaberry is a sex toy or the newest mini
version of the Blackberry, just ask Jackie
Mendelson. "Gorgeous beans!" she proclaims,
"I always do a happy dance every time I open
up a fresh bag:'
The beans she refers to are coffee beans,
and from her exuberance I glean these are
something like the Catherine Deneuve of
coffee beans. Then again, anything having to
do with coffee lights up her face and evokes
a delightful outpouring of information that
ranges from nuances of taste, to varieties of
farming methods, and even the history of this
now ubiquitous beverage."! love the Tanzania
Peaberry because it is one of the best examples
of the fruity notes and flowery aromas of East
African coffees, and the double bean expands
that profile;' she informs me as I look down
at the cup of coffee in my hand. All I know is
76
I curve
this is one kick,ass cup of joe.
What many of us consider a mundane
daily morning ritual is actually Mendelson's
passion and profession. At an age when
many retire, Mendelson has started her own
coffee company, Arabica Dabra, where she
has managed quite successfully to merge her
love of coffee with her entrepreneurial spirit
and her life long mission of helping others.
Mendelson spent 30 years working in the
non,profit sector, and the root of her coffee
business actually emerged from the 15 years
she spent fighting the HIV/ AIDS pandemic.
"I had the privilege of opening clinics around
the world, so I went to Uganda, Kenya,
Swaziland, Cambodia, India and Latin
America. Wherever I went that was close to
the equator, I saw that they were growing
coffee;' says the former chief of operations for
the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. Many of
the people she helped were coffee growers, so
she had the opportunity to learn first hand.
"I went onto the farms and started talking to
the farmers about how they nurtured their
saplings, grew trees, pruned and picked:'
She also noticed that the sale of coffee
beans was often the only means of financially
supporting these struggling farmers and if
these communities were to survive and
flourish where AIDS and poverty had
devastated the populations, nurturing this
trade was imperative. Mendelson realized
that it was vital that they sold their coffee and
got the best price they could. Which is why
she now buys beans from these areas, and in
addition gives back a portion of the proceeds
to help these communities. She does this by
buying and donating pigs, goats, cows and
bicycles to farmers-tools that are integral to
growing and sustaining their livelihoods.
~
t
~
~
~
~
Coffee for a cause:
Production in Uganda
(top); and the final product
"You don't have to be a big corporation or
nonprofit to make a difference;' Mendelson
says. "You can be someone who is a small in~
dependent business owner that decides, I can
do something on my own to put something
back in the pot:'
Her business model of giving back with
Arabica Dabra also extends to the consumer.
"I wanted to bring coffee that I knew was
excellent to people who were used to getting
just Starbucks or Colombian-just the generic
basic cup of coffee;' she explains.
With the enthusiasm of the well~caffein~
ated she shares stories of her work around
the world fighting HIV/ AIDS. Her deep
connection to the lands and their people
comes from working in the trenches. Many
of those who survived because of treatment
joined her in helping others."From the jungles in
Cambodia to India, the Ukraine and China ...
en
z
~
~
w
a:
0
ti:
::'j
;;;
0
~
people working together to get others medi~
cation are the most wonderful and kindest
and inspirational people on earth. They are
all champions:•
As to the origin of Mendelson's fearless
commitment to helping people in other
countries (which at one point to lead her
to slash her way through jungle thickets in
search of a site for a clinic), Mendelson offers
a simple explanation: "I was a hippy in the
Haight~Ashbury in the 1960s!"
Jackie Mendelson has a head for coffee
and a heart for giving. "If you buy coffee
through me;' she tells me, "You don't get a
tax write off, but you get a pound of unbe~
lievably good coffee. It's certainly fresher
than any coffee you buy at the grocery store
and at the same price:' Not to mention that
with every sip you take, you're making a
difference. ( tastymagic.com) ■
REVIEWSTech Girl
The You Show
How to start your own podcast. By Rachel Shatto
In recent years, podcasts have become hugely
popular-and
with good reason: They are
the perfect antidote to a long commute,
infused with a DIY spirit and custombuilt to fit your niche interest. Plus, they're
(mostly) free and highly addictive.
It's because podcasting is such a do-ityourself format that it has been able to grow
into such a vast sea of voices-of
which
many, excitingly, are lesbian.
If you're new to podcasting, The Lesbian
Lounge is a fantastic listen. Out and proud
co-hosts Denise and Donna keep the Sapphic
dialog going despite the fact that they live
Tools of the
trade: Zoom H4N
(clockwise from
left), Plantronics
.Audio 655 and
the Snowball
on separate continents. 2 Homos is also ~----a hilarious (if very NSFW) collaboration
recording in one room. The second is similar,
of married couple Roxanne and Virginia,
only online. The last is recorded anywhere
who talk about whatever comes to mindno topic is off limits. That's just the beginyou want using a multichannel recorder.
ning; there are numerous other options
Once you've decided on a format, it's time
out there for your listening pleasure.
to shop! You'll need a few things-in
addiHowever, should you not find the right
tion to a computer-including
a microphone
aural fit, just start your own show!
or recorder and editing software.
Podcasts are hard work, and have
There is a lot of great-and
priceysome up-front costs, but they're also a equipment out there, but here are our recomton of fun to make. It's the Wild, Wild
mendations for podcasting gear:
West out there, so your only limitation
For recording in a studio-like setting,
is your imagination. From audio drama
nothing beats Blue Microphone'sSnowball.
to interviews, to group discussions and This sexy little plug-and-play USB mic brings
even one-woman shows, you have the free- studio-quality sound home and is ideal for
everything from recording music to podcasting.
dom to create something custom-fit to your
Plus, with its reasonable price, you aren't going
desires ... then you get to share it with the
world. How cool is that:'
to go broke following your passion. Using
Blue's optional ringer shockmount, you'll
Once you've decided it's time to stop
depriving the world of your unique view, avoid picking up any banging or tapping
for a polished, professionalyou've got some decisions to make. The first: noises-making
sounding show. ($99, bluemic.com)
What format will your podcast be:'
If you prefer to go the online route, a
headset with mic may be your best bet. For
our money, nothing beats the Plantronics
.Audio655.Like the Snowball, this headset is
USB plug-and-play. Its lightweight, pillowy
design makes it comfy, in addition to being
easy to use. Most importantly, the audio is crisp,
and at $50 it can't be beat. (plantronics.com)
There are three basic types: A studio-style
Should you crave flexibility and plan to
recording, group online recording, and mobile host your show on the go, a portable recorder
recording. The first involves one or more hosts
is best. It's important to get a good one, as
You have the freedom to create
something custom-fit to your
desires ... then you get to share it
with the world. How cool is that?
controlling background noise can be chal~
lenging and you'll something flexible enough
to pick up more than one person speaking
at a time. Or favorite is the ZoomH4N.By
crossing two condenser mies in an "x/y"
formation, it's able to record in all directions.
(zoom.coJp)
The next step is to make sure you have the
correct software to bring your broadcasting
dream to life. For Mac users we recommend
GarageBand for studio format shows-
and editing all three types. For PC users,
Audacity is a free and functional choice for
recording and editing, although when you're
ready to step things up, you'll want to invest
in higher~tier software like Mixcraft 5 from
Acoustica.
For podcasts recorded online, the combo
of Skype and IMCapture (Mac and PC) is
the way to go for reliable and relatively inex~
pensive results.
The final step in getting your wisdom,
wit and winning personality to the listening
masses is to select a hosting service. Most
popular is PodOmatic, which offers free
hosting along with paid options (with grad~
ually increasing benefits). It's also ideal for
fledgling shows since it makes putting your
podcast on iT unes a snap.
After that, you'll have your gear and a
way to reach listeners' ears-now
all that's
left to do is start recording and begin your
podcasting adventure. ■
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ayRealEstat~
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June 2011
I 79
TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
Kristen
Kavanaugh
The former Marine Corps
officer is supporting service
members through the repeal
of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
By Merryn Johns
We rejoiced at the repeal
of Don't Ask, Don't
Tell {DADT) but Kristen
Kavanaugh saw more work
ahead. The former Marine
co-founded The Military
Acceptance Project {MAP),
an organization promoting
acceptance of lesbian
and gay service members
during and after the repeal.
1 . Sheservedfor 9 yearsin the MiddleEast
andisnowanactivist."Throughout my career
I had no outlet to express myself and no one I
could comfortably confide in. I was given the
strength to endure the challenges of DADT
so that I would be able to help others. I have
a duty to my fellow LGBT service members
to ensure they never again have to face the
types and levels of discrimination that I did
in the military:'
2. She enduredservingher countrywhile
closeted.
"In Iraq, my boss-a Colonel who
had been in the Marine Corps longer than
I had been alive-politely
suggested that
I wear shorter shorts in order to 'increase
my chances of finding a boyfriend: I wasn't
able to speak with my partner openly on the
phone. I had to be very careful what I included
in my emails because they could be read by
my command at any time. My boss offered to
give up my seat on the flight home from Iraq
to someone who had a wife and kids waiting.
Ultimately, I left the Marine Corps because
I could not justify lying to myself and others
in order to protect my career:'
5. Shegalvanizes
support.
"From chain of command to protocol to the key role that family
plays in the lives of service members, there is
a distinct culture within the armed services
that must be understood for any organization like ours to be effective:' She has found
supporters: LGBT and straight, military and
non-military-including
The Department of
Defense and branches of the military who
"were pleased that they would finally have a
way to hear from and communicate with LGB
service members. Because we have no partisan
or political agenda, we can serve as a neutral
conduit between these groups:'
6. She valuesher local lesbiancommunity.
"While I spent most of my time watching
my actions and what I said at work, I did
have support from my civilian lesbian community. Our community in San Diego is
very tight knit. My connection to them has
proven to be a valuable resource, especially
with this project:'
7. She made lesbiansa majority,for once.
Seventy-five percent of those in the MAP
focus group were lesbians. "Lesbians were
3. Shesawtheopportunity
forfurtherreform. integral in helping us know what to focus
"I watched President Obama liberate my
on with our mission. Oftentimes, the media
brothers and sisters in arms with one stroke
focuses on gay men in the military and fails
of the pen. He said, 'This is done: I thought,
to include the lesbian experience:'
'Yes... but not yet: Although LGB service
8. Shepromotes
diversefamilies.
"When you
members are initially afforded some of the
are overseas and in a war zone, loved ones
rights of their straight counterparts, they
are an absolute lifeline. As an LG B service
don't have any of the family rights because
member, you are cut off from that lifeline in
the Defense of Marriage Act is firmly in
many ways:'
place. They don't enjoy protection and equal
opportunity, as women or racial or religious
9. She'sgivenDADTa face. She came out
groups do. The repeal does nothing to proafter leaving active duty and entering the
tect them from discrimination beyond the
workforce. "My co-workers were amazing.
ability to serve openly. It also does not adMy experience did not match the horror
dress the transgender community and their
desire to serve our country:'
stories they had been told about gay people.
They supported me and continue to support
4. She convertedher militaryexpertiseinto me to this day:'
activism.As a student at the University of
1 0. She believesin Pride."Gay Pride is
Southern California's School of Social Work
essential. The ability to celebrate who you
she was given the assignment ofleading a team
are is the foundation for acceptance, both
in advocating for a marginalized population.
She chose to advocate for LGBT service personally and as a community. Marching
sends a message to those who cannot yet
members and convinced her classmates to
accept themselves that there is a community
support her choice. "We have been working
waiting for them when they are ready:' ~
tirelessly since January to gather accurate
I
information and build our website:'
(militaryacceptanceproject.org)
■
Q
g
so I curve
FAMI _ -IEN_DS
+
EQ -----;..___
Y+RESPECT
MACY'SIS PROUDTO JOIN THE PARADEACROSSAMERICAIN HONOR OF
NATIONALPRIDEMONTH. WE THINK IT'S REALLYSOMETHING TO CELEBRATE.
FOR MORE INFO, GO TO MACYS.COM/PRIDE
*
macys
~
t'::::';J::.~Es
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