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Description
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ToC Cover: Hair Apparent with Tabatha Coffey by Merryn Johns (p42); He Got Game by Lyndsey D'Arcangelo (p30); Action Woman by Janelle Sorenson (p32); Time Bandits (p36); Cape of Good Hope (p48); Getting Over Her on Oahu by Gillian Kendall (p54); Ice, Ice Baby by Amy Lamé (p60); Croatian Heartland by Amy Deneson (p63); Life's a Beach by Merryn Johns (p68); Adventurous Accommodation by Stephanie Schroeder (p70); Cover Photo by Mitch Haaseth/Bravo.
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Travel Issue
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issue
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7
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Date Issued
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September 2011
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol21_No7_September-2011_0CR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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desti~t~s~ry
lesbian travelers
Features
42
SEPTEMBER
2011
Hair Apparent
1V's lesbian super stylist Tabatha Coffey
lets loose on being out and reclaiming
the word "bitch." By Merryn Johns
30
He Got Game
FTM transgender athlete Kye Allums
has gone from outsider to inspiration.
By Lyndsey D'Arcangelo
32
'
Action Woman
Rock and roller Melissa Ferrick is back
with a brilliant new album and tour.
By Janelle Sorenson
36
Time Bandits
Steampunk couture for the queer girl
who likes to dress up with a vintage
and fantasy edge.
48
Cape of Good Hope
It's wedding fever for one glamorous South
African couple tying the knot in Cape Town.
TravelSpecial
This month we celebrate globe-trotting
lesbians. From Miami to Brazil to Iceland,
meet the gay girls helping to make the
world your oyster.
54
Getting Over Her On Oahu
There's nothing like Hawaii for curing
a little heartache. By Gillian Kendall
60
Ice, Ice Baby
An all-women tour to the Canadian
Arctic in search of the elusive polar bear.
By Amy Lame
63
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~
Croatian Heartland
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A journey home unearths luxe living
and some historical gems, including
a lesbian wedding. By Amy Deneson
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Life's a Beach
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Fort Lauderdale welcomes the sun-seeking
Sapphic traveler. By Merryn Johns
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Adventurous Accommodation
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Want to see the globe on a budget?
Consider the wonderful world of
house swapping. By Stephanie Schroeder
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K9 Advantix are registered trademarks of Bayer. Frontline is a registered trademark of Merial.
Kl 1422
Departments
SEPTEMBER
2011
IN EVERY ISSUE
8
10
11
12
19
22
24
80
13
18
Editor's Letter
20
Celebrity Gossip
Ladies, behave! Well, it wouldn't be
Lesbofile without a few hot messes.
Letters
Contributors
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
26
Out in Front
Scene
Lipstick & Dipstick
Relationships
Author and educator Rachel Simmons
examines the intimacy between girls and how
understanding it can help prevent bullying.
28
Politics
Travel isn't just about going on vacation.
Stars
By Victoria A. Brownworth
-.
Curvatures
A lesbian couple collects gay stories
around the globe; celesbians tweet
for joy over marriage equality and
the Rundown looks at last month's
highs and lows
72
74
76
77
Laugh Track
78
Comic Vickie Shaw dishes on
the ins and outs of lesbian travel.
. .
Music: We love the lesbian band, Lovers.
Film: Must-see Sapphic slasher films.
Books: The best books about us now.
~
Tech: Solar-powered fashion that keeps
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you connected.
Food: A lesbian cookbook author shares
her family recipes.
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41
curve
SHIIT
&SWEET
BAHAMAS
CRUISE
Jebruary
/
17-20, 2012
* * * *
·*
--ALISOc1u,sE
may 18-20, 2012
* * * * *
-.
SWEET
-
MEIITiRRANEA
- ·CRUISE
july 1-~, 2012
* * * * *
S\1Et:T
EASTERN
-·
- CARIBBEAN
CRUIS!
ROtJember 8-10, 2012
-
EN'L:EST
CA.LL
87'7
N"O'VI"'!
793
3830.
1scovrn
swf
H.COM
CSf#2091755-40
Our Top 15 Horror Films for Lesbians
If there's one category of film that gets a bum wrap it's the
horror film. But this subversive genre has never shied away
from the Sapphic side of cinema. So, our resident horror
aficionado, Rachel Shatto, offers up 15 lesbian-inclusive
scary gems on curvemag.com.
Be Sweet to Homeless Animals
If you love lesbians and animals and combining both while on
vacation, then a Sweet cruise or resort stay is in order. Read
Kristin Flickinger's account of do-good getaways, complete
with beach cleaning and puppy care-giving on curvemag.com.
Calling All Queers: Tell Your
Story in a New Anthology
Curve contributing writer Lyndsey
D'Arcangelo is looking for writers to
contribute to her upcoming anthology,
My Story is Out: The High School Years.
This collection of personal real-life stories
is about surviving high school as an LGBT
teen and coming out on the other side. Find out how you
can share your unique story at curvemag.com.
The Curve Cast
Co-hosted by curve editors Rachel Shatto and
Jillian Eugenios, The Curve Cast covers what's hot
in lesbian news, lesbian gossip and entertainment.
It also features exclusive interviews with fascinating
and fabulous celesbians, as well as highlighting up
and coming queer musicians. Download episodes
at curvemag.com.
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CONGRATULATIONS
I
Way to go New York! Here's to equality ever after.
CaliforniaandArgentineTableWine,©2011BarefootCellars,Modesto,CA.All rightsreserved.
EDITOR'S
NOTE
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
For
LESBIAN
MAGAZINE
me, rhere is nothing like trading in the grind of daily
life and its tedious little problems-paying
bills, planning
meals-for the thrill of hitting the open road, taking off into
the skies or across the sea, landing somewhere so foreign that
you become the person you really are, not the person you think
you should be: a responsible creature of habit.
Lesbians are considered to be an elusive "travel
market segment;' and perhaps this is because we
tend to travel as women first and lesbians second.
But if you are the kind of lesbian who prefers to
vacation with your own kind, I raise my pin.a co,
lada to you-the niche market of lesbian travel
needs to be supported, especially for those worn,
en who don't have the luxury of lesbian company
in their home state. But there is also a wide world
of travel beyond that.
Each issue we share stories from adventure,
seeking lesbian travel writers who wish to pass on
their expertise to you, whether they've taken an
all,lesbian cruise or trekked across the Arctic in
an all,women group in search of polar bears and
the aurora borealis. But when it comes down to
booking a trip beyond the gay,girl ghetto, as,
sistance is hard to find. Many lesbians plan their own itineraries,
piecing together information from online and guide books.
Unless your trip coincides with a lesbian festival, you cross
your fingers, hoping everything will work out.
In an industry that's all about being serviced, where's our
share of the attention:' Who do you turn to when you want
advice on how to travel:' I consult the latest edition of Gina
Gattas Damron Womens Traveller,with its 10,000 international
listings and events for lesbians. But it's a rapidly changing world,
and no destination remains the same year,to,year. Which
destinations are safe for lesbians to travel to today:' Which desti,
nations do you most want to visit:' What kind of experiences do
you desire and who would you like to share them with:'
This is our annual travel issue and these are some of the
questions I would love to have curve readers answer so that
we can raise the visibility of lesbian travel. With the help of the
International Gay and Lesbian Travel Association, we have
created a travel survey that will help industry professionals
understand what you want and need from your vacation, and
how they can enrich your travel options and experiences. If you
answer the survey on curvemag.com, you could be off to South
Beach for a romantic three,night resort stay. Good luck, and
bonnes vacances.
It's a
Girl's
World
41/4.
SEPTEMBER
2011
I VOLUME 21 NUMBER 7
Publisher Silke Bader
Founding Publisher Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Merryn Johns
Managing Editor Rachel Shatto
Associate Editor Jillian Eugenios
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Contributing Editors Victoria A. Brownworth, Gina Daggett,
Sheryl Kay, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
PUBLISHING
Associate Publisher Diana L. Berry
Director of Operations Laura McConnell
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Jamie Anderson, Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin,
Bree Clarke, Lyndsey D' Arcangel 0, Beren deMotier, Lauren Marie
Fleming, Lisa Gunther, Tania Hammidi, Kathi lsserman, Melany
Joy Beck, Gillian Kendall, Georgia Krokus, Kate Lacey, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Ariel MessmanRucker, Alison Peters, Heather Robinson, Laurie K. Schenden,
Lori Selke, Janelle Sorenson, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Yana
Tallon-Hicks, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Erica Beckman, Brie Childers, Meagan Cignoli, Cheryl Craig,
JD Disalvatore, Tony Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Cheryl Mazak,
Maggie Parker, Constance Parten, Elisa Shebaro, Leslie Van
Stelten, Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams, Misty Winter
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ADVISOR~
With you when
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<,Cf,,
Domestic partners have unique investment planning needs and challenges. You've worked hard to create a life
and build wealth together, now you want to make sure your treasured nest egg will always be there for each other.
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I LoveLoveLoveyourmagazine
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Can'twaituntilI getmynextissue
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I have been a faithful reader of curve since it
first came out. Your article"Jersey Girls" [Vol.
21#5] about the bar Key West in Asbury
Park, N.J. was slightly inaccurate. The Owl
was not the first women's gay bar here. The
first and largest was a bar called the M&K
on Cookman Ave. It was owned by a woman
called Check. Please don't get me wrong. Kay
and her friends had a wonderful bar. Kay is
an ordained minister and has performed tons
of weddings and a lot of us she married are
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Independent Spirit Awarded
I am a subscriber to the wonderful magazine
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happy. I think we see a lot of the same celesbians being plastered over everything geared
toward the lesbian community. It's just nice
to see some fresh faces in the arts. I thought
I would share a favorite independent lesbian
artist of my own. Jaclyn Falk is an artist with
true independent spirit.
-Tracie Ward, Stony Point, N.Y.
Poll
How much of a role does local
LGBT rights play in your choice
of vacation destination?
37%
Somewhat,I do take it into
consideration
29%
A little, I leantoward
LGBT-friendlycountries
27%
7%
None,it doesn't play any role
Totally,I onlygowhere
thereis equalityfor all
According
to a curvemag.com
poll
,o I curve
Thanks for featuring Nai'a Rae Fox in "This
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Rainbow Welcome
It was with extreme interest that I read your
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Sing You Home [Vol. 21#3]. How thoroughly
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to accurately portray the lives her characters
represent was never more evident than when
she chose to include the Highlands Inn as
the honeymoon destination for her main
characters Vanessa and Zoe. It has led to
more folks finding the Inn and even more
women from all over the country are coming
to New Hampshire for the opportunity to
join in legal marriage. It seemed we had an
opportunity, perhaps even a responsibility
to try to give back. When I asked Jodi if she
would be willing to come to the Inn to do
a fundraiser to support the continuation of
marriage equality she immediately said yes.
It is a great partnership and will give some
great attention to the issue of maintaining
marriage equality in New Hampshire.
-Grace Newman, Highlands Inn, N.H.
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CONTRIBUTORS
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Writer AmyDenesonset out for Croatia last summer to
either trace her roots in the land of her ancestors or get
a spectacular, five~star tan-she did both. "In this photo;'
Amy explains, 'Tm reading about how Perusic, the small
farming village where my great~grandfather was born,
celebrated same~sex unions-in
the 1700s!" Read about
her Eastern European adventure on page 65. Currently
writing a travel memoir recounting her familial dis~
coveries and luxurious dalliances across her Croatian
heartland, Amy's writing has appeared in Salon.com,
The Huffington Post, New York Press, Velvetpark and
Syd Londonholds a deep reverence for the potential
power of the photographic image. Her passion is telling
stories of subcultures that are often ignored, misunder~
stood or shunned by society. She strives to communicate
the visceral moments of what is ultimately a shared human
experience. Currently, Syd is based in Brooklyn, N.Y.
working as a freelance assignment photographer and
photojournalist while building her own projects and docu~
mentaries. Installations of her work have been seen in
Rome, Italy and New York City. This month she shares
her images of the 19th Annual Dyke March on page 22.
Hemispheres. (amydeneson.com)
(sydlondon.com)
GillianKendallis officially homeless after spending the last
decade living in Australia and crossing the Pacific more
than 40 times. Usually in an economy~class seat, she
learned to break up the long flights with layovers in Fiji,
Auckland and often Oahu-which
she writes about on
page 58. "Once I discovered the North Shore;' she says,
"it was like getting to another Hawaiian island without
taking another flight. Now I just have to figure out a way
to live there:' Editor of Something to Declare:Good Lesbian
Travel Writing, her travel narrative, Mr. Dings Chicken
Feet,was a New York Times notable book of the year, and
her business cards say "Writer & adventurer for hire:'
"When I was told our mode of transport to reach the
remote Dymond Lake Lodge was a Turbo Beaver, I just
cracked up!" says AmyLame,who went in search of polar
bears in the Canadian Arctic (page 62). "I wasn't expecting
such an appropriate name for a women~only adventure
vacation. It was exciting to explore the Arctic with such a
great group of women:' Amy's travel assignments have taken
her diving in the Caribbean, golfing in Scotland, cooking in
Tuscany, tall ship sailing in the Canary Islands and eating
her way across Malaysia. A New Jersey native, she has lived
in London for nearly 20 years; she co~presents an after~
noon radio show on BBC London and writes for a variety
of newspapers and magazines. (amylame.com)■
(gilliankendall.net)
September 2011
I 11
In Search of the Supergays
Three years ago, on their fifth date, Jenni Chang
asked Lisa Dazols, "What if we quit our jobs and
traveled around the worldt The idea had been in
Chang's mind since she traveled through southeast
Asia after college and met a couple who were hon~
eymooning until they ran out of money. "That idea
of just traveling for a long time all over the place
with the person you're spending the rest of your
life with was really cool and that's what started this
idea;' Chang says. "The whole project came about
a little later:'
The project is called Out and Around: Stories
From a Not~so~Straight Journey. Chang and
Dazols are on a yearlong 40,000 mile trip through
17 countries including Australia, Cambodia, Peru
and Tanzania. They are in search of the Supergays:
people in the community doing inspiring work.
"We decided it would be really cool if we met
different queer people around the world;' says
Chang. "Lisa is an HIV social worker and sees a
lot of sad cases about gay people so we wanted to
focus on the positive side. We wanted to find people
who were doing cool things and would inspire
others. People who are gay and extraordinary:'
The couple began the project by interviewing
people in their hometown of San Francisco:
Kate Kendell, the executive director of the
National Center for Lesbian Rights; the plaintiffs
for California's marriage equality case; and San
Francisco mayoral candidate Bevan Dufty.
The gay community has been especially sup~
portive of the project and Out and Around has
given the couple a sense of the global community:
Chang says that their research made them feel like
they have a big, extended gay family all over the
world. They have plans to take their footage of
the journey and turn it into an educational docu~
mentary and use the trip to teach people about the
international gay community. Out and Around is
poised to become a platform from which to build
awareness about the global struggle for equality.
Since the blog launched the girls have heard
from many people around the world, like a military
gay guy in New Zealand, a queer college student
from Puget Sound, a trans woman in Australia,
and many others. Countless people have extended
their support, travel tips and invitations for visits.
Where are the girls now? Can you think of a
Supergay somewhere in the world they just have to
meet? They take nominations! Keep up with them
and support their journey at outandaround.com.
[JillianEugenics]
LORDOFTHERINGS
NewYork'sownLGBT
jewelrydesigner,
Rony
Tennenbaum,
hasbeen
inundatedwith requestsfor
engagement
andwedding
ringssincethe passageof
the MarriageEqualityAct
intoNewYorkStatelaw.
Thepoliticaltriumphis also
personalfor Tennenbaum,
whois planningto wed
his partnerof 18 years.
"WhenI setoutto design
my lineof bridalringsfor
menandwomenof the
LGBTcommunity,Marriage
Equalitylawsfor N.Y.
Statewerejust in talks.I
dreamedthat 'someday'
it wouldhappen,andthen
suddenlythat longjourney
of anticipation
endedafter
severaldaysof beingglued
to myTVandTwitter,"says
Tennenbaum.
A jewelerfor
over25 years,histimeless
designsexpressthe notion
of eternalcommitment,
whichcertainlyreflectthe
ongoingdreams,dedication
andcommitment
of the
activists,allies,community
leadersandcoupleswho
havetraveledsucha long
wayto seeprogressfinally
happen.(ronytennenbaum.
com)[MerrynJohns]
September 2011
I 13
"Aye!! San Fran Pride! Stonewall
Anniversary! Marriage Equality
in New York!! The beginning of
a GREAT FUCKING WEEKEND!!"
-Sajdah Golde
'
••......
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"I'm thrilled about the news
from NY. Marriage equality!
Every day we get a little closer.
What an amazing feeling."
- Ellen DeGeneres
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"HOLY SHIT!!!!! I'm getting married now!!!!!" -DJ Tracy Young
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About time!" -Pink
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"Proud to be FROM
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"OK, pictures of
rainbow Empire State
Building are getting me
misty." -Diablo Cody
"HAPPY GAY
MARRIAGE
HOOKERS!!!!!!
HOLYSHIT!!!!!!!!!! ... I
don't think the magnitude of what has
happened, has hit me
yet." -Jenny Shimizu
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"NEW YORK!!! Congratulations
on
legalizing gay marriage! Looking
forward to California following
suit." -Tracy Ryerson
"Congrats to all who worked
so hard in NYS for marriage
equality! Homos for Cuomo!"
-Kate Clinton
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new york! a great state that
stepped up to the plate for
gay marriage. tasteful chic
a ring from tiffany's? yes."
-Sandra Bernhard
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let's all celebrate marriage
equality. The right side of
history!" -Kathy Griffin
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"Holding the hand of my fiancee
[Lauren Blitzer] as New York
State gains Marriage Equality."
-Chely Wright
CURVATURES
the rundown
After news spread about the kidnapping of Amina
Abdallah
Aralal Omari,a young Syrian lesbian and
author of the blog"A GayGirlin
Damascus;'
it was revealed that
she was the fictional creation of a
man. TomMacMaster,
a 40~year~
old American living in Scotland
has taken responsibility
for the fictitious blog saying he
never expected to receive this
much attention. LGBT activists
in Syriablasted MacMaster saying
his hoax put them in danger and
undermined their work .. .JudgeDanielR.Moeserof
Wisconsin
has ruled to uphold the Wisconsin domestic
partner registry, which was signed into law in 2009,
as constitutional. The limited protections included
in the law allow for hospital visitation, family leave
and imheritance ...
International spoken
word artist and
accomplished writer
CherylB (Cheryl
Burke) died of
complications from
chemotherapy treat~
ment for Hodgkin's
Lymphoma. Her
career began in the early '90s at the Nuyorican
Poets
Cafein N.Y.C. and she went on to produce numerous
literary events and receive an honorable mention
in poetry from the Astraea Writers Fund Awards ...
Reverend
AmyDelong,a Methodist pastor and out
lesbian in Kaukauna, Wisc., is facing a church trial.
She is being tried for performing a
same~sex ceremony at her church,
and for her own sexuality.
Punishment could include loss
of ordination or suspension and
will be determined by a jury
of clergy from the Wisconsin
Conference ... Courtney
Mitchell
and SarahWeltonof Colorado became the first lesbian
couple to marry publicly in Nepal.The ceremony took
place at Dakshinkali Temple, a Hindu shrine on the
outskirts of Kathmandu.
The Supreme Court of Nepal
legalized same~sex marriage in 2007, and the country
hopes to become the Asian hub for LGBT tourism.
Mitchell and Welton's ceremony was organized by
Society,
the leading LGBT advocacy
the BlueDiamond
organization in Nepal, and PinkMountain
Travels,
the
country's first LGBT travel agency. [Sassafras
Lowrey]
Travel Bits
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DykeStarcapsleevetee
whenyou'refeelingsaucy
andstraightto the point.
20, dyketees.com)
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HONORARY
LIFETIME
LESBIAN
MEMBERSHIP
LAUGH
TRACK
Texas Hold 'Em
Vickie Shaw talks tech, travel and whether or not to pack your vibrator when you go abroad.
By Merryn Johns.
The former real estate agent and full time
comic Vickie Shaw is on the road most week~
ends, traveling from her home in Houston to
gigs around the country and abroad. A die~
hard femme ("We got our big hair and our
bright colors and glitter. Can't have too much
glitter"), Shaw was Southern Baptist~raised
and mines her life for comedic gems which
she delivers in her husky Southern drawl.
She would never get rid of her accent (she's
been described as "white trash that won't
burn'') and revels in other people's differences,
gathering stories from the people she meets:
Take the 70~year~old lesbian whose vibrator~
induced orgasm coincided with a stroke. So,
if you find yourself chatting to Vickie Shaw,
y'all, be careful what you share otherwise you
may just be her next hilarious anecdote. She's
far from politically correct ("I hate my dogs,
I'm just waiting for them to die ... ") but ask
her about Tracy Morgan's anti~gay outburst
and she will take a stand: "Mean and angry is
not funny. Offensive is not funny. I am com~
pletely aghast at what he did:'
I messaged
youon Facebook
but it tookyoua
whileto respond.
I get on my computer and I try and get that
going but I just glass over. I got an iPad, that
was lovely. I've got a two~year~old grand~
daughter and she came up and said, "I play
iPad!" and I just handed it to her. She turned
it on, unlocked it, found her apps ... I sort of
went, "Can you get grandma a plane ticketr I
need help!"
Whatisthebestthingaboutbeingontheroad?
I love meeting people. I love seeing old friends
from an Olivia cruise ... ! love knowing peo~
pie's stories: Who they are, where they came
from, that's my favorite thing. The travel part's
yuck.
Especially
thepatdowns.
Oh, I enjoy them. Makes me feel good. My
partner and I have been together 12 years so
a nice pat down is always fun.
You'redoingOlivia'sWesternCaribbean
cruise.
18
I curve
It's fun for me because I really get a chance
to meet people, I get to see my friends,
other entertainers like Julie Goldman, she
just makes me laugh all the time. We get the
chance to giggle and be silly.
Howdoyouentertain1,300lesbians?
I always like to talk about the trip and what's
gone on that week because believe me, some~
thing ridiculous has always gone on. Comedy
is a live beast. Sometimes I never know what's
going to come out.
Doyoupacksextoyswhenyoutravel?
Yes I do. One time I was going somewhere
for a show and had packed my sex toy and I
had to get my luggage at baggage claim. My
suitcase was coming down the carousel and
all of a sudden I could hear it. It had turned
on and the battery was running and the suit~
case was shaking ...! had to open it up to turn
it off!
If a customsofficialaskedyou what it was
wouldyoutellthem?
Yes-as long as I didn't think they were going
to take it away from me.
Whatisthevalueof exclusive
lesbiantravel?
We have come far, but we have a long way to
go. There are a lot of women that can't be out
at home. Then they come on these trips and
for the first time, and only for a week, they
can hold their partner's hand and be romantic
and kiss them when they want to and have
fun and be on vacation-and
they can laugh
about being lesbian. It's very empowering.
(vickieshaw.com)■
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OUTINFRONT
Digging Deeper
Two lesbians fighting for the rights of the voiceless.
By Sheryl Kay
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On the Front Lines
As the director of operations for the Center
of Excellence in Health Disparities and
Primary Care at the United Medical Center
in Washington, D.C., KhadijahA. Tribbleis
helping to create a world-class comprehensive treatment program at the epicenter of
the HIV epidemic in D.C. And her work is
making a difference.
By building relationships with the National
Institutes of Health to allow trained specialists and experts in the field of HIV to provide
direct clinical support to those individuals often
labeled "hard to reach" and "hard to serve;'
Tribble and her teammates are bringing them
the best in prevention, treatment and care.
''Already, we've done what others have said
for years couldn't be done in a blighted, almost
forgotten part of the city;' she says.
Tribble first became attached to the HIV
cause as a college student when she volunteered an hour of her time to the Names
Project, the world-renowned organization
responsible for the AIDS quilt. At the time,
she recalls, she made no connection between
HIV and homosexuality-she
only knew
that people were dying of an obscure disease
And then came the day when she held the
quilt in her hands. Although she didn't know
anyone who had died of AIDS, somehow
each name on the quilt signified a unique and
precious life to her.
"John, Terrv, Arthur, Lil Johnnie, Carriethose were real people, not just numbers of
people infected and not just numbers of people dying;' says Tribble. "It really shook me to
my core:•
,,
Tribble understands that sometimes it's
hard to be vocal and take a stand. Yet at the
same time, she says, holding one's ground can
make all the difference.
"I believe that our silence can't protect us
and that those things that are important to
us must be spoken and made verbal, even if
there's a chance of it being misunderstood
and devalued;' she says. "We must speak and
speak often:'
Legal Eagle
When AlexiaKoritzgraduated from Columbia
University, she immediately entered the world
of finance, working in private equity for an
investment bank. She toiled alongside her
coworkers, looking forward to the prized two
weeks of vacation, but unlike those heading
for cruises and the ski slopes, Koritz spent her
free time at legal conferences.
"Not exactly typical banker activity;' she
says. "But I realized I had the chance to
make my life's passion, LGBT rights, my life's
work:'
So Koritz headed off to Yale, where she
is now finishing her law degree. Noting the
possibility that many states will soon face gay
marriage and adoption challenges, Koritz says
the need for attorneys to litigate on behalf of
the community will grow exponentially.
To prepare for her new profession, Koritz
has taken on several major initiatives at Yale.
As policy director for the Iraqi Refugee
Assistance Project, she's focused on the needs
of LGBT refugees, who are uniquely vulnerable since homosexuality is criminalized
throughout much of the Middle East. And
she's worked on several high-profile cases
The need for attorneys
to litigateon behalfof
the communitywill
grow exponentially.
with the ACLU, most notably the "Don't
Filter Me" initiative, a joint-venture between
the ACLU and Yale's LGBT Rights Clinic to
combat the highly unconstitutional yet very
prevalent practice of filtering out LGBT
content from school computers while permitting access to anti- LGBT sites that advocate
for "reparative therapy:'
"Not only did every school we contacted
back down, but as a result of our efforts, one
of the major providers of web filtration software dropped LGBT filtration altogether
from its systems;' says Koritz.
It's disappointing that some younger people
don't appreciate the struggle and sacrifices of
the generations that came before, says Koritz,
but not all of them are as tuned-out as they
might appear.
"While we still have a long way to go, and
the LGBT rights movement needs all the help
it can get, I don't think you necessarily need to
march in a parade or stage a protest or become
a civil rights litigator to help the cause;' she
says. "The cumulative effect of young people
living their lives openly, contributing money
to organizations like the ACLU and voting
for progressive politicians is very powerful:' ■
September 2011
I 19
LESBOFILE
Lesbian Exits This month is all about the hasbiansand maybians.
By Jocelyn Voo
A RoyalAffair
They say every girl fantasizes about becoming
rags,to,riches
a princess, so KateMiddleton's
fairy tale wedding to PrinceWilliamwas ooh'd,
and,ahh'd over by many a dreamer. Especially
lesbian dreamers. Because Kate Middleton's
first kiss was reportedly with a girl.
At 14, Middleton was a never,been,kissed
student at a post,prep school. According to
Star magazine, Middleton became close to
fellow student Jessica Hay-so close, in fact,
that before a school dance, the two had a few
drinks and then ( surprise, surprise) a kiss
ensued."Our eyes locked and we started full,on
kissing, with each of us pretending the other
was a boy;' Hay told Star.
The kiss was a mixture of hormones, alcohol
and general affection, Hay says. But hey-we
choose to fantasize differently.
SheLovesUs,SheLovesUsNot
No beating around the bush on this one:
On the Australian radio show The Kyle and
Jackie O Show, notorious lady lover Lindsay
Lohanproclaimed that she's still open to
dating boys.
"Boys wanna know if they still have a
chance ... have we still got a chancer" the host
asked. Without wafRing, Lohan replied, "Yes:'
Guess we shouldn't be surprised, but still
we're not quite ready to give her back to the
hets full time, yet.
20
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WhatHappenson Stage,Stayson Stage
Think back to the infamous BritneySpearsMadonnasmooch on television after the
MTV Music Awards. Now fast forward a
couple of years to 2011, when pretty much
the same thing happened at the Billboard
Awards, except it was between Spears and
"S&M" singer Rihanna.
Oh-and also no one
ever got to see it.
While the kiss definitely happened, ABC
never aired it (or at least the bulk of it-there
was some post,smooch pull,away shown,
insinuating some sort of kissing). So maybe
it's only appropriate that ABC's lips are sealed
on the censorship. Still, it's not like we
haven't gotten more than our share of
straight,girl kissing publicity stunts
(Miley Cyrus, we're looking at you), so
maybe it's all for the best.
ChooseYourWordsWisely
Let's just state the obvious: Megan
Foxis a super,hot, possibly lesbi,
an,baiting serial foot,in,mouth
offender.
The first Traniformers film
pretty much launched her
career. However, following
the sequel, in an inter,
view Fox foolishly bit the
Hollywood hand that fed
her, telling British mag Wonderland that
director Michael Bay"wants to be like Hitler
on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to
work for:' When Transformers executive pro,
ducer Steven Spielberg caught wind of the
culturally insensitive comment he told Bay,
"Fire her right now:' And Bay did. Boom.
OneForthe Team
Glee has been praised for its LGBT equality,
advancing storylines-indeed,
the wildly
popular show is a two,time GLAAD Award
winner. But TV character trajectories are
notoriously fickle. Some might've thought that
with Kurt being the token gay character,
there was no way recently outed Santana
(played by the lovely NayaRivera)would
actually, well, stay a lesbian.
Guess again. "The thing we're not
going to do is something I would
feel is disingenuous-San,
z
tana being like, Oh, I'm ~
~
going to try sleeping ~
with boys again;' ~
Glee creator Ryan ~
Murphy told TV Line. i"§
cc
Does this mean more ~
Santana and Brittany ghookups2 Never say never, ~
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Murphy replies. This is one ~
~
" show worth keeping on the vs
DVRlist. ■
Q
She Said
September
2011 121
SCENE
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Dykes in the City
Syd London captures the historic
19th Annual Dyke March in New York City.
On Saturday June 25, the 19th Annual Dyke March
kicked off at 42nd Street and Bryant Park, New York
City. The theme was In Dykes We Trust. Emotions
ran high in the wake of the historic passage of law the
previous night, which enables gays and lesbians to
marry in the state. Approximately 15,000 women
attended, many celebrating, others still advocating
for national recognition of same~sex marriage,
"as we are still not able to gain all the privileges that
our straight contemporaries are eligible for;' explains
Dyke March organizer Blair Gershenson.
Unfortunately, law enforcement was "particularly
hostile this year;' according to Gershenson. "Police
did not allow us enough space on the street and
did not want us to march. We were questioned
whether we had a permit-we
do not, nor have
we ever applied for one as this is a protest march.
We stopped the march and waited to negotiate an
appropriate amount of space. Two officers assaulted
our marshals by grabbing and twisting their arms
while they blocked traffic. The marshals were brave
by continuing to marshal, block traffic and ensure the
safety of our marchers:'
Numerous celebrities have attended past marches,
from Kathleen Hanna of Le Tigre to the actor
and activist Cynthia Nixon, and this year musician
Regina Spektor took pictures with her lesbian fans
as they marched down Fifth Avenue to Washington
Square Park where the drummers continued to drum
and thousands of participants and spectators danced
and celebrated, with some even jumping naked into
■
the fountain. ( dykemarchnyc.org)
September 2011
I 23
Dream Lovers What to do when trying to choose between your heart and your future.
By Lipstick and Dipstick
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I'm a 19-year-old student who has two amazing opportunities in the palm of my
hand, right there for the taking. First, I've been flirting with this friend of mine, Carmen, forever-since
school-but
high
she never seemed to take me seriously, so we never got together. Second, I've had a dream
about attending a college that has a great department for the kind of work I want to go into. Up until now,
I thought both Carmen and the school of my dreams were out of reach, but things have changed. Carmen
is now saying she wants to be with me, and I'm not about to question her change of heart. I'm just glad I
hung in there and my persistence paid off. This comes on the heels of the news that I'm probably going to
be accepted at this awesome school, which, unfortunately, is across the country. Because of that, I can't
imagine both life and love working out for me right now. I have to choose. My instincts tell me a longdistance relationship would involve a lot of pain and suffering and would ultimately result in heartbreak. I
know if I asked Carmen what I should do, she'd tell me to go away to school. Close friends tell me to follow my
heart, because they know how deeply I care for this girl and what a mess I'd be in the fall when I'd have to
leave. I've wanted both of these things for so long and I don't know what to do. So, the question remainsdream lover or dream school?-
Dreaming in Denver
Lipstick:
This one is simple. You must go away
to your dream school! Promise Lipstick right
now that you won't let this opportunity pass
you by. If you do, it will be a regret that will
haunt you for the rest of your life. Trust me
on this one. "If only" are two words that will
scratch at your mind every living second and
burn holes in the lining of your stomach.
Dipstick:I have to agree with Lipstick on
this one-but gosh, Lip, do you have to be
so morbid? As much as I'm a sucker for true
love and waiting for someone you really want,
I don't think giving up your dream school is
the kind of thing you put on hold for a girl.
Changing your weekend plans, skipping out
on Mother's Day, missing a night of sleepall might occasionally be OK for the sake of
a girl. But not college. I know you have strong
feelings for Carmen, but you don't even know
yet what it's like to be in a relationship with
her. It's so new that you aren't even talking
to her about this, the biggest dilemma you've
had in your young life. What if things fizzle
after six months? What if she cheats on
you? There you'll be, stuck at some local
24
I curve
community college studying cosmetology,
when your true calling was to be a congress~
woman. Long distance might be difficult, but
not as hard as a lifetime of regrets. Maybe
in a year Carmen will decide to join you at
Dream U. Maybe you'll meet another girl
in your political science class who will make
Carmen seem like a schoolgirl crush. Or
Carmen might still be waiting for you when
all's said and done. Degrees are for certain.
Girls are wily and unpredictable. Drop her
hand and reach for the brass diploma.
Lipstick:Nah, keep hold of her hand, but get
a telescopic arm and hold it from very far
away. Give it a shot with Carmen, believe it
can work and sign up for Skype.
Dear Lipstickand Dipstick:I'm 44, recently
divorcedanda newlysinglemomof two beautiful kids.I havea 15-year-olddaughteranda
10-year-oldsonwho havebeendevastated
by
the divorce.I am confidentthat I am a lesbian,
but I've beenin the closetall my life,pursuing
heterosexual
relationships
that have left me
feeling unfulfilledand empty. I would love
nothingmorethan to give a lesbianrelationshipa try andseeif whatI feelistrue.Butwhat
aboutmy children?Theyalreadyhavescars
fromthedivorcethatI'm afraidwill nevercompletelyheal.I thinkit wouldbeselfishof meto
pursueany relationship
that couldhavemore
negativeconsequences
for them.As a parent,
it is myjob to protectthem.However,
my own
desiresare like a voidthat desperately
needs
to be filled.If neitherof youhaskids,it might
be hardfor youto understand.
You'djustthink
I shouldbetrueto myself.Butit's notthateasy.
Any goodadvice?Eitherway, this hurtslike
hell.-Mama Dyke
Dipstick:So you're writing to us to get our
permission to be a martyr? Because if that's
what you choose to do, then I'll say a rosary
in your name. I may not have children, but I
have a mother, and I know too well the effects
that martyrdom can have on children. Yes, it
is your job to protect your children, but not
at the cost of your own happiness. Kids don't
want their parents to be miserable. What they
want is to feel listened to, included and loved.
They want to feel like they're special and like
Lipstick & Dipstick ADVICE
their mom cares about their needs. Why
jump to the conclusion that finding happiness
with another woman is going to somehow
devastate your children? Did you ever think
that they might embrace it with open arms?
Did you ever consider the impact your hap~
piness could have on your relationship with
them2 You'll be so much lighter and freer and
easier to be around. Maybe they, too, will fall
in love with your future partner. There are
many possibilities here, but if you only focus
on the negative ones you'll wind up with a
selUulfilling prophecy.
Lipstick:I may not have birthed babes, but I
do know a thing or two about this because my
partner-I'll
call her Mommy Queerest-is
a mother of three. She could have written
this email many years ago and she has this
advice to give you: First, she commends you
for being an awesome parent. What's more,
you really must follow your heart, while also
putting your kids first. And that's a delicate
balance. If you're not happy, they aren't either.
Give them honesty and good communication,
even if at first it appears to confuse or hurt
them. What's more damaging is to leave
them in the dark-a
very scary place for
kids. Then, get a good therapist to start loos~
ening the noose you've got tied around your
neck. That guilt is going to kill you. Lastly,
we need to warn you about the lesbians out
there. Do not let the first one you fall for
move in too quickly. Your heart may tell you
after two weeks that it is time to envelop her
into the family, but don't listen to it. Here, it
is paramount to put your kids first. Moving
in with someone prematurely can do more
collateral damage than coming out! Give it a
year, at least, and make sure that what you've
got with this woman is going to stick. The
last thing you want to do is drag your family
through lesbian drama.
love when I came out. I'd bet, however, if
they were sitting here, looking back in hind~
sight and being really honest, that they'd say
it took about a year for them to be totally
comfortable in their new parental skin. But
they never showed me an ounce of that.
Now that I'm older, it's easier to understand
how difficult it is for parents to learn their
child is gay, because, to them, it seems you
are going to have a harder life, facing more
challenges than life already throws at you.
Now, after many years of witnessing the
strength my coming out gave me-that
the
precious pain was more of a booster shot
than a poisonous antidote-my
folks wear
my queerness as a real badge of honor.
Dipstick:Unlike Lipstick's parents, my mom
freaked out when I came out to her. She was
pissed at me, at my girlfriend and at God.
She couldn't look me in the eye for months
and would change the topic any time I men~
tioned my girlfriend. But then one day, as
she was changing the sheets on my bed,
probably imagining all the dirty and nasty
things I was doing there, she says God spoke
to her. He said, "Just love her:' And since
that day, you know what? My mom has. I
think it's normal for parents to have a hard
Degreesare for
certain.Girlsare wily
and unpredictable.
time accepting a queer kid at first, but even~
tually most of them come around. Coming
out to our parents can be the scariest thing
many of us ever do. Make sure before you
tell them you've got a good support system
in place. You may not need it, but it's better
safe than sleeping on the street. ■
Tune in to curvemag.com/lipstickanddipstic
to watchthe The Lipstick& DipstickShow.
Or write to tv@lipstickdipstick.com.
Dear Lipstickand Dipstick:How did each of
your familiestake it when you came out? I
wantto knowbecauseI'm reallyscaredto tell
~ mine.-Huddlingin the Closet
a:
if
w
ffi Lipstick:My parents were textbook amazing.
~ They showed nothing but support and fierce
September 2011
I 25
ADVICE Relationships
Mean Girls Calling all bullies and their victims: A revised book sheds light on the dark
side of female intimacy. By Merryn Johns
I almost didn't call Rachel Simmons. I was
a little pissed that this straight educator had
written a book about bullying among girls and
never once mentioned the L~word. But the
topic was so enticing and, judging by the huge
response to the post on our Facebook page, so
vital, that I decided to go ahead and talk to
her. The first thing I wanted to ask Simmons
was why Odd Girl Out (uncannily bearing
the same title as Ann Bannon's milestone in
lesbian pulp fiction) had scarcely one refer~
ence to lesbianism since the book is entirely
devoted to the subject of aggression in girls
as the flipside of female intimacy.
"So you want to know why? Don't you
want to guess?" There was a strange tension
in her voice as we spoke on the phone-part
mischie£ part mean. It was as though we were
BFFs at recess, and she could tease me with
her interest in the new girl.
"Your publisher said no?" I suggested. "Too
controversial?"
"Oh, that would be so nice if that were
true;' Simmons taunted. "This one might be
hard. But it might be right in front of you ... "
As I wracked my brain for reasons why
this feisty Rhodes Scholar left out the entire
26
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LGBT demographic, I sensed the answer.
"It's because I'm gay," she blurted out,
explaining that if she had focused on that
topic she would have appeared to have a gay
agenda. ''And this is the first time I'm ever
going on the record. When I heard that you
wanted to know why there were no gay people
in the book I thought, 'Yeah, it's time:"
Simmons is now on the record, even
though Odd Girl Out has had tremendous
mainstream appeal and she is touring in places
like Kansas and South Dakota, where the fact
that she's a lesbian could overshadow the other
issues she wishes to discuss. Her book has
exposed the crisis of bullying among girls and
she is considered to be an expert on the sub~
ject, someone parents can rely on for advice.
In addition to being an author and an edu~
cator, she is also the co~founder of the Girls
Leadership Institute and runs its summer
camp in Northampton, Mass., creating all the
leadership workshops. "Most of my work has
evolved out of these summers of living with
girls, listening to what they struggle with and
asking them questions;' she says.
While there might have been some con~
sternation in the past about finding a lesbian
at the helm of such a project, Simmons says
times have changed, noting that several of the
young women who come to work at the camp
are already out. "Over the last few years I've
had to realize that it's actually OK for them to
come out to the girls, if the girls are curious:'
Simmons, who went to a religious school
in a different time, has taken the long road to
being comfortable with her sexuality in public.
Consequently, when writing the first edition
of the book 10 years ago she "turned away"
from the topic of sexuality-gay, straight or
otherwise. So, while she doesn't confront
lesbianism in young girls head on in Odd Girl
Out, Simmons does focus on female intimacy
and the intensity of female~to~female friend~
ships. These relationships can foster many
forms of aggression, everything from subtle
forms of manipulation to outright bullying
and harassment. The relational patterns of
behavior described by preteen and adolescent
interview subjects, who attended 10 different
American schools, will be intensely familiar
to all girls, straight or gay. Most women,
she believes, have endured or participated
in behavior that needs apology and some
analysis-and providing analysis is what her
book does best. When she revised the book,
which now has four new chapters, Simmons
chose again not to dwell on sexuality, but to
focus on issues that compound bullyinglike Internet usage as social entertainmentand she offers advice to parents who are in
the dark about how their daughters and their
daughters' friends are behaving. But she is more
than happy to be out to curve readers and to
talk about female aggression in lesbian terms.
"Remember that so much of what distin~
guishes female aggression from other forms
of aggression is the intimacy that underpins
it;' she says. "The most painful memories that
women have are not at the hands of strangers;
they're at the hands of the people that they
really loved. I do think that if you are a young
lesbian just realizing that, and maybe you are
in love with your best friend, and maybe you
were in love with her at the time that she bul~
lied you, or you said that you loved her and
she bullied you because she was scared, then
~
0
~
o
~
~
a!
<3
in addition to the conventional homophobic
bullying we are told about, there's a lot of
untold stories which should be told, too:'
In Odd Girl Out, the friendship between
junior high school students Vanessa and Stacy,
for example, seems rife with sexual tension. It
degenerates into bullying, and the bullied girl
channels the pain she endures her into sexual
promiscuity later in life, which to this reader
suggested latent lesbianism gone awry.
Simmons believes that female stereotypes
represent society's homophobia writ large,
especially in the way that female aggression is
played down. "Ifyou were really to take seriously
how horrible girls can be to each other, then
you also have to take seriously how intimate
they are;' she argues. "This culture wants girls
to believe that the most important relationship
they should have is with a boy. Every song on
the radio they hear is about some boy, except
girls don't care about that. They're more worried
about why their best friend is not speaking to
them. Female closeness is invisible, and therefore female bullying is invisible, because they
are inextricably linked:'
With kids coming out younger, as early as 7
or 8 years of age, Simmons acknowledges that
bullying of queer and questioning kids could
become even worse. She recommends that
these kids find a mentor, someone older and
wiser, and also gay, to help prevent heartache
and dysfunction in the future.
Simmons also has advice for women now
looking back on a time when they were the
bullies. ''Apologies never expire. I apologized
10 years after the fact to the girl that I bullied
and it meant a lot to her. There is so much
erasing that goes on amongst girls so an apology
is a real act of resistance against that invisibility. When you apologize, you put a stake
in the ground and you say: This did happen.
And that means a lot:'
Simmons, who knew she was gay at 16, is
now determined to "tell other people about
the depths of the relationships between girls.
So much of my work is about trying to validate
the intimacy and the intensity that happens
between girls because that really forms the
Cl)
framework for so much of the aggression:'
~
Childhood aggressionmay begin with simple
~<( demands but evolves into something far more
~ complex."When you're 5 years old and you say,
:::;;
~ I won't be your friend if you don't give me your
potato chips, it's about using force to get what
you want. Third-, fourth- and fifth-grade girls
have very intimate best friendships and they
get very upset and possessive when one best
friend goes off with another. So they start to
try to control the best friend and say,You can't
play with her at recess, you have to play with
me. Yes, it's about anger but it's also about this
intense desire to be with that person all the
time. I say to parents that intimacy between
girls rivals the romantic interests that they
will later on develop, and it's not sexual most
of the time-but
there is an intensity to it
that's a lot like romance:'
Is it perhaps because women are so relational
and able to form intense bonds quickly that
so many lesbian stereotypes persist: Lesbians
move in together quickly; they move from
relationship to relationship; they convert their
exes to best friends. Simmons won't validate
any of these stereotypes, suggesting that similar behaviors exist for "the regular population;'
but she agrees that women go to great lengths
to nurture relationships, sometimes at great
cost to themselves. The idea that a girl will
endure the undercurrent of abuse that defines
bullying in friendships leads Simmons further
into a discussion of intimacy.
"There are elements of emotional abuse
that happen at very young ages between girls
that mirror what happens between adult partners in an intimate relationship. If you, as a
girl, were close to someone, maybe in love with
someone who mistreated you, but you loved
that person so much you're willing to put up
with anything because you are so crushed out
as a 12 year old or 16 year old-that leaves an
imprint on your definition of intimacy:'
Allowing oneself to bully or be manipulated by a female bully is a serious problem,
but one that is often hidden because of society's stereotypical view of the ideal woman as
submissive and mutable. But for Simmons,
young girls are a force of nature, able to make
and break their own rules.
"When I talk to girls about friendship I
talk about friend divorce, friend affairs and
they love it and they get it because they understand that it's that intense for them. Is there
a purpose to female aggression and bullying?
Yes: What are the limits of intimacy; what are
the rules of intimacy; what can I do to a best
friend; what can I ask of a best friend? Then
of course there's the aspect of power:'
Girl Power just took on a whole new
meaning. (rachelsimmons.com)■
WAYS TO END THE BULLYING
Rachel Simmons asked girls and women what they would have told
themselves when they were being bullied. This is their advice:
0 GETHELPTrynotto do
thisalone.Findsomeone
whocansupport
you.
Tellyourparents,
talkto
a teacherora friendyou
cantrust.Oneoftheworst
thingsaboutgettingbullied
isthatyoufeelsoalone.
LOSE
THEMIf youthink
beingpopular
isgoingto
makeyouhappy,
you're
wrong.If theothergirlsare
usingyouto makethemselvesfeelcooleryouare
putting
yourself
indanger
everyminuteyouspend
withthem.
@ GET
ITOUTWriteabout
yourfeelings
ina diary.
Writedownwho'sbeing
meanto youandwhatyour
solution
willbe.Don'tkeep
it inside.
f}
0 DOSOMETHING
Joina
team,takea workshop,
joinanonlinegroup,
find
a different
community
of people.
Don'tisolate
yourself.
0 REMEMBER,
ITWILLEND
Theworldmayfeellikeit's
endingbutit isn't.Oneday
youwon'thaveto goto
school
withthesepeople
anymore.
September 2011
I 27
POLITICS
Travel is a Feminist Issue
Vacationing can be dangerous and ethically complex for lesbians. By Victoria A. Brownworth
Who doesn't love to travel? Be it near or
preferably far, travel is one of those experiences that expands our collective horizons
and gives us a keen sense of not just another
lovely vista, but how other people live. The
cultural insights we gain through travel can
be life-altering. This is especially true for
those who want to see how other women
live in places outside our own purview or
comfort zone-that
is, outside the nonWestern world.
Although travel can be expansive and
broadening, as women and as lesbians we
can't take our out-queer American privilege
with us. As any seasoned travel writer notes,
true travel means experiencing a country the
way the locals do. Which for women can
2s
I curve
mean a demeaning or even dangerous embarkation.Travel can be complex, because being
female and queer may be fine if your destination is Amsterdam, Berlin or London, but
may be much more problematic in countries
where your gender defines all aspects of your
daily life-negatively.
It would seem obvious that any country in
which local women wear the burka, purdah or
chador would not be one in which it would
be easy to travel. But what many women
don't realize is that second-class status can
also mean first-class danger when they are
traveling without men.
Before the Arab spring took root, Egypt
was a prime travel destination for Westerners,
and probably it will be again soon. The lure
of Luxor and the enticing nature of the
great wonders-the
pyramids, the sphinx
and the other extant ruins-draw
thousands each year. But the sexual harassment
of female tourists on the streets of Cairo
and Alexandria was extreme long before the
harrowing incident in which journalist Lara
Logan was sexually assaulted while covering
the revolution in Tahrir Square.
Having one's breasts and genitals grabbed
was always a common occurrence, as was
sexual assault-and
often by more than one
man, just as Logan was assaulted. Taboos
against wearing "immodest" dress or leaving
one's head uncovered meant that a woman
in a short-sleeved shirt and shorts or a skirt
would be a sexual target.
And Egypt is far from the only country
in which such behavior is common. Travel
throughout the Middle East-including,
surprisingly, Israel-has long been problem~
atic for women traveling without men.
Yet while these places-along
with
Morocco, Kenya, South Africa and other
countries that enjoy a thriving tourist busi~
ness-might
seem obviously problematic
due to their volatile political climates, less
obvious would be places closer to home.
Jamaica is one of the top tourist destina~
tions for Americans, yet for lesbians it is one
of the most dangerous. According to tourist
advisories, the gorgeous Caribbean island
is deeply homophobic. Homosexuality is
illegal and queer bashing is so prevalent and
overt that a 2006 Time magazine article
declared Jamaica "The Most Homophobic
Place on Earth:' LGBT activists have been
beaten, raped and murdered in Jamaica. So
although it's close to the United States, and
it's inexpensive, it's also a tourist destination
to avoid.
Equally close, inexpensive, temptingand dangerous-is Mexico. As the drug wars
heat up among the various cartels, American
tourists are prime targets for kidnapping
and women are most vulnerable. While the
drug wars don't involve tourists per se, they
have begun to spill over into popular tour~
ist spots like Cancun, Acapulco, Guadalajara
and Mazatlan. Being American and on vaca~
tion is no protection. Women are not highly
regarded in Mexico, so it is of no special
concern to see woman being assaulted.
In June, the Thomson~ Reuters Foundation
released a survey delineating the countries
where it is most dangerous for women to
live. Few of us will be traveling to most of
them: Four of the top five are Afghanistan,
Congo, Pakistan and Somalia. In Congo, for
example, over 1,100 women are raped daily.
In Pakistan, women earn 82 percent less than
men, and more than 1,000 are murdered
each year in honor killings. In Afghanistan,
87 percent of the women are illiterate, and
one in 11 dies in childbirth. In Somalia, 95
percent of the girls will be genitally muti~
lated between the ages of 4 and 11.
These facts are harrowing but not sur~
prising. What is stunning is that the survey
rated India No. 5. The world's most popu~
lous democracy remains a popular tourist
endure in so many countries?
When we travel, we must consider our own
safety as lesbians, certainly. But shouldn't we
also consider the safety of the women and
girls in the countries we visitr As travelers,
we can't allow ourselves to be ignorant of
the daily realities of women just like us. If
Travelis meant to raiseour consciousness.
However,an essentialelementof being a
feministis that we understandwhat gender
means everywhere,not just at home or on
vacationin the developedworld.
destination for Westerners, but not a safe
place for women to live. According to the
survey, nearly half of the women in India are
married before they are 18. The UN notes
that India leads the world in sex~selection
abortion and in the sex trafficking of girls.
India is a common spot for sexual tourism.
Over 100 million girls are trafficked each
year. And more than 50 million girls are
"missing" -lost to sex~selection abortions.
A place where being female is so reviled is
not a safe place to travel.
What makes travel such a feminist issue is
not just that travel to certain places remains
dangerous for women, but that life itself
remains dangerous for women and girls in
the places we are merely visiting. A trip to
the Taj Mahal or to Mecca is great for the
travel diary-these
are, after all, two of the
world's pre~eminent travel spots. But who
looks beyond what our tourist eyes can seer
What about the girls sold into sex slavery
in Indiar What about the honor killings of
women in Pakistan-including
lesbians?
Our vacations are often about sex and
romance, but think about all those geni~
tally mutilated women in Somalia who will
never experience such a concept. Vacation is
also about indulging our appetites, but what
about the poverty that women are forced to
we lived in the lush, brutal beauty of Congo,
would we be among the 1,100 women raped
every dayr If we lived in Kabul, would we be
able to work, or go to school, or go outside
without being accompanied by a male rela~
tive and covered head~to~toe in a burkar
And what about the maids in our hotel
roomsr Where do they go after they clean
our sheets and towels and drink glasses?
What are their lives like outside the confines
of our luxury suites? How vital to their very
survival is that tip we leave on the dresser?
Travel is meant to raise our consciousness.
However, an essential element of being a
feminist is that we understand what gender
means everywhere, not just at home or on
vacation in the developed world. When we
travel, we have to think about where we are
and how we got there. Not just the specifics
of passports or traveler's checks, but the less
readily identifiable elements of our trip, like
the lives of the women in the places we visit.
Travel is a feminist issue. Next time you
plan a trip, think about not just where you
are going, but what you will take away when
you leave. Don't just bring home pictures of
your trip. Bring home a picture of what it is
like for women and girls in the place you just
left. And then think about what you can do
to make their lives better. ■
September 2011
I 29
As the only male player on the George Washington University
women's basketball team, you might think that Kye Allums
felt like an outsider. But he didn't."We always ended practice
the same way we began;' he says."Together in a circle:'
Born biologically female in 1989, the 5-foot-11-inch
guard from Minnesota started playing basketball at the age
of 7 and it was something he picked up naturally. "I have
always enjoyed playing basketball since I was little. I
didn't know any of the rules
or anything, I was just taller
than a lot of the other girls:'
He eventually became a
standout basketball player
in high school and a McDonald's All-American nominee in
2008. But after two years playing for the Colonials' women's
team, he decided to come out to his teammates because he
felt uncomfortable hiding who he really was-a man in a
woman's body.
Allums first became aware that his body didn't match his
gender at the age of 5. But it took years for him to finally
accept and embrace this fact. "I figured out who I was and
embraced it 100 percent;' he says.
At 19, he told his family. "[They were] very supportive.
They continued to love me the same as they had done my
whole life:' As for basketball, Allums felt he needed to come
out to his team because he had "a hard time focusing on the
game due to the constant use of female pronouns:'
His teammates, coaches and the university supported
his decision. However, in order to remain eligible for the
basketball team, Allums had to postpone transitioning until
after college because testosterone
is a banned substance according
Kye Allums is the first out to NCAA regulations."It [was]
FTM transgender to ever hard to put off something that I
play Division I basketball. want to do for me;' he explains.
"Because waking up every day
By Lyndsey D'Arcangelo
in the wrong body is the most
uncomfortable feeling, period:'
But the decision to keep playing women's basketball
despite being inherently male made perfect sense to
Allums. "It's simple-sex and gender are two different
things. Sex is your body and appearance, and gender is your
innate self identity. My sex is female, but my gender is male.
So, in reality, the only thing that is different about me than
another female is how I feel about my sex. I don't connect
with my body and appearance:'
The issue of sex, gender and women's sports isn't a new
one. Thanks to athletes like Allums, Caster Semenya
and Brittney Griner, it has become a hotly debated topic.
Semenya's sex and gender came into question because she
is uncannily fast "for a girl;' and has a masculine body and
build. The powers that be demanded that she "prove" her
30
I curve
gender. Eventually, it was found that Semenya possesses
both sex organs and a higher level of testosterone than
most females. As far as gender goes, she identifies as female.
But because she happened to be born intersex, others don't
necessarily give her that right.
Griner is an incredibly talented women's basketball
player with unbelievable height and athleticism "for a girl:'
Simply type in her name into a Google search, and you'll see
such interesting search phrases as: "Brittney Griner man;'
"Brittney Griner transgendered" and "Brittney Griner
lesbian:' Griner is none of the above-she's just a female
college athlete playing the game she loves. Yet, because of
the body and build she was born with, those assumptions
are made and her sex and gender come into question.
What Semenya, Griner and Allums help remind us of
is that gender goes much deeper than appearances. And
in order to keep up with the rest of society, the world of
female sports (and sports in general) must also evolve.
As the first out FTM (female-to-male) transgender
individual to ever play Division I basketball, Allums definitely navigated uncharted waters. But during the season,
opposing teams and players were very receptive and the
mainstream media even applauded his courage. "I didn't
care what the media would say;' he says. "The one thing that
did matter were the people who [feel] alone and trapped in
the same situation that I'm in:'
After a long and intense season, reoccurring injuries and
some careful consideration, Allums has ultimately decided
to give up playing basketball altogether."! alone came to this
conclusion;' he says. ''And I thank the Athletic Department
for respecting my wishes:'
Though he won't be returning to the hardwood anytime soon, Allums' story is one that will continue to echo
throughout the arena and beyond. "Whether you're an
athlete or not, stay true to who you are and how you feel
about yoursel£ Nobody can tell you how you feel; only you
can do that. Things get rough, but always have your goals
at the forefront of your mind, knowing that you are going
to make them happen no matter what it takes. And if you
ever feel alone just know you have a brother [at George
Washington University]:' ■
A new deal with MPress Records has also fueled
Ferrick's creativity. "I feel very supported emotionally and
musically;' she says. Coming from years of doing everything
independently, from recording to touring, the support of a
label that jives with Ferrick's personal ethos has lifted a
weight and allowed her more room to focus on the music.
Intending to tour with a full band this time around,
Ferrick is looking forward to hitting the road and hopes
to bring along female support. "It's really important
to support each other like that, as musicians and as
women. It's important to smash down the cat fighting.
Luckily, I don't see that in the groups I travel with. I
see support. The community around me and all over is
stellar;' says the singer who enjoys a passionately loyal
female fan base.
"There's this whole other world of artists who are doing
Kickstarter or touring and I don't see a discrepancy
between the men and women, which is a good thing for
me;' she says, adding,"It may sound cliche but I don't think
of my gender when I walk in a room or when I meet some~
body. I get a feel for people and it doesn't have anything to
do with gender or sexuality:'
It's for that reason that she enjoys playing festivals; the
chance to get out in front of a more diverse audience. "I
enjoy festivals because I get to play in front of men and
I don't draw that ticket as strongly when I'm on my own.
It feels so good to see men enjoying my music, to see that
there are men in the world who will hear a good song and
love you regardless of what you look like or your sexuality.
People who just know good music:•
There is absolutely no shortage of good music on Still
34
I curve
Right Here. From the beginning of the album, the sound is
noticeably larger-the
melody immediately captures the
listener and pulls them in for a lO~song ride that rejoices
in its peaks and tears at heartstrings in its more low~tempo
moments, like the tender "You Let Me Be:•Through the
entirety of the album, the feel is that of reuniting with a
friend; laughing, smiling, nodding and even crying along.
Ferrick describes the sound of the record as finally
having captured what fans hear when they go to a live
show. "Big acoustic guitar; in die; balls. I'm singing my ass
off!" she laughs, "There's no holding back-it's rock:'
StillRightHerealso marks another milestone, the artist's
40th birthday. As is typical with any milestone birthday,
life~reassessment comes with the territory. Having taken
the job teaching music at Berklee, she forced herself to get
out of her paradigm and with that, ended up infusing her
life with the inspiration she needed to get her thoughts
out of her head and onto paper. "I have to remember that
sometimes you just have to say yes. Instead of sitting
around and waiting and tearing everything down, you
have to just act;' she says. "Into action, into action. You
have to repeat that:'
In a life that is often uncertain, everyone can benefit
from a mantra like that. Ferrick's enthusiasm for this
album, her renewed passion and amped up creativity is
palpable. "The only thing you can count on is that it's going
to change;' she says, referring to life and its intricacies.
With an album that she considers her best work, a new
relationship with a supportive label, and a headlining tour
in the works, one thing is sure; Ferrick has finally let herself
■
just be good at what she's good at. (melissaferrick.com)
~
Cf)
0
er
u
<(
er
:::J
:s
•---
When you subscribe to our interactive digital
edition you get curve in your inbox before it hits
the stands. Flick through pages, watch videos,
listen to songs, forward stories to friends and best
of all, no more recycling. Just download and save! _____
Share with
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- ')
~
I
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steampunk trend contmues 1to
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~
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Visualize yourself traveling time and space.
Imagine exploring the skies as an aviatrix,
surviving in a post-apocalyptic
battleground,
cross-dressing as a Civil War soldier or languistiing
_
'd
,:--
with the ladies in a 19th century salon. To fuel you."1r,:;ff1Ji!Jl1JJ:HJ1
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::~
fantasies Steampunk Couture, a Portland, Ore.
(;,.
_:, design house creates hand-crafted Victorian, sci-fi
and shabby chic-inspired couture and accessories.
G·
From leather or lace to bodices and bloomers,
,queer girls can aad a little kick to their closets
with this arty apparel. (steampunkcouture.com)
Al
I
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36
I
curve
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-Stea
custo
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NICE KNICKERS
~
These green lace harem - _ /
bloomers are sexy and comfy
at the same time. $39.99
·~vl.J)~
11
I\
)
SKY CAPTAIN
This one-of-a-kind outfit includes
corset, tank top, aviator cap, goggles,
shorts and thigh-highs. $499
LITTLE DRUMMER GIRL
This one-off custom-made
outfit includes jacket, pants,
spats, belts and gloves. $699
September 2011
I 39
DEMAND SATISFACTION
Persephone Pius's dueling earrings
are guaranteed to satisfy on every
front. Sassy and sexy, they're
the perfectly quirky baubles to
complete your nod to steampunk
style. ($22, etsy.com/shop/
GhonePlus)
TIMELESS TOP HAT
Nothing says steampunk like a bespoke top hat with
working clock. Custom-made from high quality wool,
this signature piece is as well-made as it is audacious.
($140, etsy.com/shop/starrlitwolfling)
Like \]ockw0rk
If you love the look, but going full steampunk seems
a bit extreme, infuse a little bit of fantasy and drama
into your everyday look with a unique accessory
or signature piece that captures the theatrics and
whimsy of this uber-chic style.
IN THE NECK OF TIME
Made from a genuine U.S.
military issue 100 percent
wool scarf and vintage East
German Army utility straps,
MIR's Apocalypse Cowl
is the perfect marriage of
comfort and style, sure to
keep you cozy whether
you're braving the winter
cold or off adventuring in
your airship. ($85, etsy.
com/shop/ShtrafBat)
CAPTIVATING CUFFS
Featuring antique
wristwatch movements,
circa the 1930s, these
elegant and sophisticated
cufflinks are embellished
with rubies, gold gears and
highly polished silver plates.
The perfect fit for even the
fussiest of steambutches.
($79, etsy.com/shop/
steampunknation)
JEWELS OF THE SEA
This gorgeous bejeweled
octopus hair clip is sure to make
an impression. Decorated with
pearls and other underwater
delights, it still manages to
remain lightweight enough to
stay in place without tugging at
your hair. ($30, etsy.com/shop/
SteampunkCouture)
OFF THE CUFF
Big, bold and badass, this one-of-a-kind eyecatcher is crafted by hand from a vintage Union
Co. pocket watch paired with a wide, textured faux
leather band. ($150, etsy.com/shop/kodashii88)
~
IN GEAR
Kick up your heels with these steamy
embellished boots. Made with vegan
suede, this hot footwear pairs gears
with scalloped edges on faux spatsperfectly embodying the steampunk
aesthetic of 19th century tech meets
Victorian. The result: modern and ohso-sexy. ($60, clockworkcouture.com)
40
I curve
0
§h0r± §±0rg
Seek out your summer fun with style.
ROOM TO MOVE
Prancing Leopard Organics have
created the Mentawai Yogi Surfer
Shorts in stretchy organic Turkish
long-fiber cotton jersey. The plush
fabric is perfect for yoga practice, a
run on the beach or simply relaxing.
Suitable for a wide range of body
types and available in matcheverything gray and slimming
charcoal. (prancing/eopard.com)
ART ATTACK
When hitting the beach or lazing
by the pool, butches and bois love
their boardshorts. But why buy
mass-produced surf wear when
you can custom design your own?
Forget those tired old Hibiscus
patterns-apply your personal style
and choose from a range of artistdesigned styles. Every pair of shorts
is printed with the artist name, image
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[RachelShatto]
September 2011
I 41
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Of course I was nervous about interviewing
the woman who has been called the Gordon
Ramsay of hair salons-especially
when her
only available time slot happened to conflict
with my own hair appointment (how ironic). I
was worried that if I asked her to reschedule,
there would be no other chance to talk to her.
So I decided to keep my hair appointment
and wait for her to call while I was in the
chair. I was halfway through highlights when
I told my colorist that I was waiting to hear
from Tabatha Coffey. She just about dropped
her bleach brush and stared at me like she'd
been struck by lightning.
"Tabatha!" she squealed. "I looooove
her! But she's such a bitch!" Then the other
shoe dropped: "I wish you told me earlier.
I would have done your color better." She
eyed the door nervously, as though Coffey,
that platinum blond bulldog, the queen of
mean, might burst into this modest salon and
announce in her no-nonsense Aussie accent,
"I'm Tabatha, and I'm taking over."
BYMERRYN
JOHNS
September 2011
I 43
ever has such a simple phrase struck so much
fear in the hearts of so many hairdressers-and
woe betide you, salon slackers: Coffey has no time for dirty floors,
dirty brushes or dirty looks. The honest Aussie will always
forgo politeness in the name of professionalism. With the
tone-and
looks-of a dominatrix, she tells it like it is,
exposing sloppy methods and exhorting others to pull
themselves up by their bootstraps if they expect to be a
success. In a culture where the fantasy of overnight stardom and the myth of American exceptionalism rule, she
is both reviled and adored. But just who is this peroxided
provocateur to be telling others how it's done? At least she
is no hypocrite-as revealed in her tell-all memoir, It's Not
Really About the Hair, she applies her exacting standards
to herself. The white lies and biographical revisionism
of many celebrities are not for her. She comes dean about
her humble beginnings in Adelaide, South Australia, as
the child of strip dub owners, her father an alcoholic.
"Honestly, it never was an option for me to make up
stories. First of all, I'm really proud I am Australian, even
though I don't live there. For me, writing the book and
telling everyone about my past, what I went through and
what my family did, it was a way of-I've had such an
overwhelming response of support from the people who
44
I curve
watch the show that I couldn't imagine not being honest
with everyone. I like to call it a memoir with life lessons.
I did all of that as a way of really sharing the path that I
took with my fans, in the hope that they'd learn from it
and feel better about their own situations and move on:'
For the greater good, she has also been honest about
her botched breast augmentation surgery, and matterof-fact about her sexuality. "I am who I am, for good or
bad. For me, talking about my sexuality is a part of who I
am. It's like saying, 'I have blue eyes: It's just a portion of
who Tabatha Coffey is. But talking about it can help some
young kid out there who's struggling with their sexuality,
and make them feel better about their coming out, which
is really important to me:•
Those who have been the target of her ruthless yet
oddly reasonable salon takeovers have called her every
name under the sun, from bitch to monster to unprintable expletive, yet her fans outnumber her critics. In a
world where slackerism, self-entitlement and smart-ass
attitudes are rife, her demand for professionalism, pride
and punctuality from employees, and often from business
owners themselves, is strangely satisfying to the home
viewer. When tough Tabatha turns her cold, catlike gaze
on her latest prey and extends her hand for the keys to a
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flailing business, we have a cathartic outlet for our own
longings to control our careers and consumer habits. As it
says in the title of her book, it's not really about the hair at
all.If we all expected as much from ourselves and others as
Tabatha Coffey does, the world would certainly
be a better place. But this attitude does not
exactly win friends. Coffey is reviled by the
very people who should look up to her and
has been called a bitch so many times that she's
found it necessary to reclaim the word as a
meaningful acronym (see pg. 47). She may
look like an ice queen, but the name-calling
has indeed hurt her.
"People didn't even know my name, they'd
just go, 'Oh my God, you're that bitch from
TV!' It was just so incredible to me, because
I never felt that I was being a bitch-I just
felt that I was standing up for what I believed
in. I can't say it didn't bother me or hurt me, because the
people who know me aren't calling me a bitch:' And these
people include a long-term partner who clearly stands by
her woman, even as she herself remains a mystery.
But the joke is on Coffey's critics, because the very
thing they loathe is the secret to her success. "I just found
it really fascinating, because I didn't have a problem with
standing up for myself and saying what was on my mind,
and that was the only word that people could come up
with:' She is convinced that if she were a man, it would
not be a word they'd use. "I think what I do, and what the
show does, is to show that it's OK to have standards. It's
OK to stand up for yoursel£ It's OK to say what's on your
mind. To me, the big difference between being honest and
being just a bitch is this: I don't say the things I say to
be hurtful. I say them because they're true. Especially in
the situations I walk into, helping salon owners, trying to
get their businesses back on track. It's no good for me to
sugarcoat it:' She even has a three-second rule: She counts
to three before speaking her mind, to make sure that she's
saying what she really means to say.
At Tabatha Coffey's core is a strong desire to be effective;
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she possesses a work ethic that has taken her around the
world and into a hit reality TV show. But it wasn't always
apparent that Coffey would find success. As a child, she
was lonely, overweight and she fell spectacularly short of
the local standards of conventional beauty. She would
have been the last person to imagine reaching for-and
grabbing-the
golden scissors.
"I just wanted to be the best hairdresser I could be. I'm
really lucky because I do a job that I truly love, and I've
been doing that for a long time ... I've always really enjoyed
sharing my passion and knowledge with other hairdressers.
This is just taking it another step further:'
Coffey relishes going to work each day, even when those
days include dealing with scurrilous salon employees who
provoke her-for
example, the Florida stylist who left
a dildo in a drawer for her to discover. "I was surprised,
mortified, pissed off' In case you were wondering, the sex
toy was not a plant.
The diabolical diva in her
younger, pre-glam years
September 2011
I 45
"One of the things I'm really proud of about the show
is that people don't know I'm coming to the salon, so it
truly is a surprise for them. When I walk into that salon
and take over, it's the first time I have seen that salon. We
don't plant anything. We fly by the seat of our pants. If I
had not opened that drawer, I might never have seen that
dildo. Who would even think about putting a fucking
dildo in a hairdressing salonr I was shocked. I was even
more shocked that he would hand it to clients who were
in bad moods and suggest they go to the bathroom and
come back happy. If anyone handed that dildo to me, I'd
slap them over the head with it:'
Talk about your full-service salon.
But in spite of her censorious views on customer service,
Coffey does not view herself as particularly Draconian, or
godlike. "I never profess to be right about everything.
I believe there is a way of doing things in any customerservice business that's pretty standard. You should hold
people accountable. You need to set people up for success.
But when it comes to the art of hairdressing, I know a lot.
It comes down to an artist's eye-you shouldn't mix certain
colors, there is a way to deal with things properly-and
sometimes people get up in arms about that. But I hope
that no one thinks I do know everything. I know a lot, and I
will show people what I know. That makes us individuals:'
Being an individual is really important to Coffey, who is
fascinated by the human urge to conform, or the expectation
that others conform, especially women and lesbians.
"People have said to me, 'Oh, you don't look like a lesbian:
I've yet to find the definition of what we're supposed to
46
I curve
look like. We all have our own style. I happen to like
short hair. To one person my hair is incredibly butch. To
another it's not butch:'
She would like to apply her transformative powers to
the stereotypical perception of lesbians. "I hope people
like me can help to change it. If someone can come up
to me and say, 'Huh, Tabatha's a lesbian? Who'd've thunk
itr' Maybe that can help change the perception that's out
there, including within our own community:'
Speaking of our own community, there is an insatiable
curiosity about the identity of the woman who gets into
bed with Tabatha Coffey every night. Coffey isn't saying,
and it's not out of shyness.
"I really cherish my home life. I'm in a long-term relationship, and my partner doesn't want the spotlight, and
I respect her for that. And if I've been filming or at the
salon all day, or at a book signing, I get to come home and
just be with her, without having all that pressure. I've been
incredibly open with all the people who support me, but
my home life is mine:'
In lieu of a cozy chat about her partner, she has a
message to share with curve readers. "The one thing I
would like to say is thank you for the support. It's been
really great to have lesbians on my side, and I know that
may sound trite but it doesn't always happen that way. The
support has meant a lot to me:'
It means a little something to us, too, that -as a woman
and as a lesbian-this iconic and ambitious powerhouse is
showing the world how strength and style can go hand in
hand. ( tabathacojfey.com)■
B: Brave
I: Intelligent
T: Tenacious
C: Creative
H: Honest
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September 2011
I 47
K
elly Huber loved her local juice bar so much
that she approached one of its owners, Megan
Hussey, to ask about buying into the business.
After months of negotiating (and an apprentice~
ship of sorts) they signed a deal and Huber invested in the
growing business. But it wasn't all business: during a share~
so I curve
holders meeting Huber and Hussey felt butterflies-and
their nerves weren't about the investment, but rather their
mutual attraction to each other. Soon, they were hooking
up (undercover, as Hussey had a long~term boyfriend).
"We were both scared about a relationship;' reveals
Huber. "We were now business partners, with a lot of
money invested, and we were both nervous about going
the girl~girl route:' Nevertheless, they decided to give
their new and passionate attachment a chance, com~
mitting 100 percent to a relationship with one another.
They haven't looked back since.
On a trip to the Seychelles, it was the newly lesbian
Hussey who proposed to Huber. "Little did I know Megs
had bought a ring and asked my dad and step dad whether
she could marry me;' says Huber. "Her plan was to pick
the perfect setting on a beach or yacht but the anxiety was
killing her so she popped the question at the business class
lounge at the airport!"
They married in February 2011 at Cafe Roux in Cape
Town where they had enjoyed many romantic dates.
Wedding planner Kirsty Marmarellis from Gay Unity
Abroad assisted the couple in planning their dream
wedding, which was attended by 144 guests. The venue
was transformed with a Bedouin tent and vintage chic
While the brides had kept their
choice of gowns a secret from each
other, as a sign of their destined
unity it turned out they matched.
decor with long banquet tables, fresh flowers, crystal
hurricane lanterns and silver candelabra. On a lawn
strewn with petals was a gazebo where the couple took
their vows, and while the brides had kept their choice of
gowns a secret from each other, as a sign of their destined
unity, it turned out they matched.
"Our wedding was the most amazing day of my life;'
says Huber. "Maybe it was because we were two girls, two
brides whose dads both walked us down the aisle, but the
amazing energy, the positivity and the love just flowed.
It was like the love we have for each other and the love
we share for our friends and the love they feel from being
around us was amplified. There were so many tears of joy,
happiness, support and love that day it was overwhelming:'
(gayunityabroad.com)■
0
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American by Design
$reedom to marry.sf toast toJVJ).
Setting the table for a bright future.
In celebration, enjoy 30% off your purchases at lenox.com
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September 2011
I 51
Lesbian Locales
PROFILE
Southern Exposure
A South Beach resort opens its doors to lesbian travelers.
I
f you think South Beach, in Miami, is exclusively
a gay boys' paradise, think again. Topping the list
of reasons to go there are the fabulous Aqua Girl
parties and a hotel that is setting itself apart when it
comes to welcoming lesbian travelers. Under the sophis~
ticated eye of general manger Karen Brown, The Angler's
Boutique Resort is a luxurious retreat only two and a half
blocks from the beach yet a world away from the hedo~
nism of Miami's gay Golden Mile.
The Angler's Boutique Resort has real lesbian appeal
and it starts with Karen Brown, a lesbian herself and the
2007 Volunteer of the Year for the Aqua Foundation.
She works hard to keep this property at the top of your
must~stay list. A Miami native and a former thespian ( she
still does the occasional emcee or stand~up gig) Brown
has always been out in her industry and is behind The
Angler's bend~over~backwards gay~friendly policy. With
nearly two decades of hospitality experience to her credit,
she is part of the team that took a condemned property
and turned it into a resort enclave that gorgeously blends
Spanish Mediterranean and Miami Modern architectural
styles. The Angler's Boutique Resort now ranks high on
influential travel websites like TripAdvisor, where it con~
sistently vies for the No. 1 spot on the Miami Popularity
Index and holds a 4.5+ star rating.
"One of our first guests was a lesbian couple
from the U.K. who stayed seven days. They
were absolutely thrilled with their experience
here and put us on the map through so many
referrals;' says Brown.
The property, situated in the historic Art Deco district,
is "romantic, cozy, nesty and intimate;' says Brownqualities that appeal to lesbians. "We've been called a
discreet retreat;' she adds, explaining that the unique
resort was designed to keep noise to a minimum and to
guarantee the privacy of its guests. There's a variety of
accommodations: You can choose a studio suite or a duplex,
or splurge on a two~story villa with its own eight~person
LEZCRED
V TAG Approved as a gay-friendly hotel
V What Pride concierge? Everyone on the
staff is trained to cater to LGBT guests
V LGBT magazines, maps and guides
on the premises
V The Miami-Dade Gay and Lesbian
Center is just down the road
Jacuzzi on the patio. Lose yourself in lushly landscaped
grounds, laze by the pool and then indulge yourself at the
excellent on~site restaurant.
Part of Brown's job is to keep abreast of the fierce com~
petition among South Beach's 200~plus hotels. "Every
hotel in Miami has a celebrity who slept there. They're
all tone~on~tone decor. They all make martinis. You have
to differentiate yourself;' she explains. One of the ways
this "lovely and unusual" resort has done so, says Brown,
is its commitment to giving its guests a meaningful stay.
Hospitality is about going the extra mile and that's where
Brown's theater background comes in handy. Every day is
a new performance for her guests. "It's a big deal. The
effect you can have on someone celebrating a wedding, an
anniversary or a birthday is huge;' she says.
So next time you feel like heading down to Miami,
whether it's for sand, surf and sun or to experience the
vibrant lesbian community, drop in at The Angler's
and say hello to Karen Brown. She'll be expecting you.
( theanglersresort.com)[MerrynJohns]
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52
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Lesbian Locales
Getting
Over Her
on Oahu
There's no place
like Hawaii to
embrace being
single again.
By Gillian Kendall
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ix days after my partner of 12 years told me that
she needed a break from the relationship, and that
the break might be permanent, I'm unpacking in
a gracious room at Turtle Bay Resort on Oahu's
North Shore. The view from my room includes a sheltering
cove and distant dark-green mountains. The sun was
shining all yellow and brilliant for my arrival, but the
afternoon has changed to my favorite weather: gray skies
with humid breezes from the beach. A fruit basket has
just arrived, I'm about to go to yoga and I'm starting to
think that Hawaii might be good for heartache.
I expected to miss her with every breath, or at least with
every breathtaking view, but I'm having a nice, gentle time.
It helped that for the first time in 15 trips to Hawaii I
was met by a driver at the airport. As I trundled my trolley
through the immigration doors, exhausted by the journey from Australia, I saw my own name on a card held
by a gorgeous young Hawaiian man-Wally from Island
Transporter. He gave me what looked like a real smile and
what definitely was a real lei.
Flashback to 1999: After much Internet chat, lots of
phone talk and many letters, I met Nie in person for the
first time right here at HNL, in the international arrivals
terminal, and she was pushing her luggage cart. I dropped
a purple and yellow garland around her neck, and she said,
"Oh! It's real!"
But this time I got the lei, and I got to chat with the
Welcome Dude (whose name I thought was "Sterile Area"
because of his security badge) and then my luggage and I
were whisked away by Wally, who offered to take the "scenic route" -as if any roads on this island were not scenic.
Driving down the "interstate;' which doesn't go between
states but cuts through the mountains and winds around
the burial grounds of indigenous Hawaiians, Wally
told me ancient legends and his own life story. We even
stopped by his house to see Gaylene, co-owner of Island
Transporter. Only on Oahu does an Aussie-American
gay woman get taken home by a Hawaiian-born Samoan
Mormon to meet his Chinese-Hawaiian-Caucasian wife.
Stepping into their home, I felt I'd reached the heart of
the island.
From my top-floor room at Turtle Bay, not only can I
see the dark-green mountains and the swelling surf in the
bay, I can also see the resort's swimming pools, including
the children's slide. Flashback: Here, five or six years
ago with Nie, we kept running up and around the steps,
over and over, to slide down fast and fall into the clear
pool. She took a picture of me at the moment before I
splashed in. I'm laughing and have my hands spread wide
in excitement. Sigh. But this time, I adjust the room to my
preferences: AC off, sea air in, curtains shut while I nap.
If Nie were here, she'd leave the floor-to-ceiling shutters
September 2011
I 55
open for the view, so I wouldn't be able to sleep. A late~
afternoon Ashtanga yoga class on the lanai with Zachary
Hitchcock reminds me to breathe and to be open to the
moment. Stretching up and backward in a salute to the
sun, I find myself smiling.
Ola, a beach side restaurant at Turtle Bay, serves exqui~
site fish. Flashback: Nie said it was the best tuna sushi
she'd ever had. Tonight, I sit alone. Yes, I'm surrounded
by couples-gay
and otherwise-but
with my mango
pifia colada and the vegetarian appetizer platter, I'm
having as good a time as any of the coupled~up people
and better than some, to judge by how they look. A few
of the old couples seem bored, despite the amazing food
and view, and that makes me glad not to be like them.
Better to eat alone than sit with someone who doesn't
want to be there.
Ola's Asian guacamole features ginger, cilantro and
samba!, which warm up the avocado. There is warmth and
coolness on my plate, depth and distance in the sea. I'm
eating like a quarterback these days and drinking like a
cheerleader, keeping busy so I don't have time to feel bad.
And it's working. I don't feel bad at all.
56
I curve
The next day, I go horseback riding along the shady,
sandy trails of Turtle Bay-the whole resort stands alone
in more space than all of Waikiki Beach. No wonder I'm
relaxing. And with a morning gallop and an afternoon spa
treatment, who needs sex? My legs from the knees down
are massaged, exfoliated, moisturized and decorated during
a pineapple pedicure. I am feeling better than I have in a
long time. Flashback: Nie thought shaved legs and painted
toenails look funny. In the evening, my sexy feet and I go
to the Polynesian Cultural Center for the new Hawaiian
dance show, Ha: Breath of Life. For company, and because
she wanted to see the show, I take the pleasant young
woman who was my horseback~riding guide. We chat easily
and I don't miss Nie much. Ha!
Later in the week, I move to Ali'i Bluffs Windward Bed
& Breakfast, a small (two guest rooms!) B&B in a suburban
neighborhood in Kaneohe-it's an easy walk to buses and
shopping, a short drive to Lanikai, one of the best beaches
in the world.
The owners, Don and De, have been a couple for
44 years. Don-who
has been named Honolulu Gay
Businessman of the Year for his real estate work-
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provides comfy quarters at reasonable rates, and retired
fashion designer De paints dramatic, tasteful nudes in his
free time. The house is thick with oriental carpets, antiques
and objects d'art from the couple's art gallery in New York
and a lifetime of collecting beautiful things. Though there's
no central AC, cool breezes waft through, and iced drinks
are always available. The men's life together seems rich and
joyful, and they are sympathetic about my long~distance
loss without pitying me or prying. I feel at home with this
couple and inspired-even
if my relationship lasted only
12 years, some gay couples stay together for life.
This beauty, comfort and sensory indulgence make me
feel better, but I realize that the best luxury in life is having a
loving partner. I don't know if or when I'll have that again.
In the meantime, I admire the view from Don and De's
patio. I take the bus to Lanikai and watch the kite surfers
skimming across the chop. I read in the warm shade, I body
surf for hours and I go out to eat, at nice restaurants, alone.
I put a hibiscus Rower in my hair, I take post~dinner ambles
along the rocky point overlooking the moonlit water and I
do not fall in. ■
September 2011
I 57
PROFILE
The Full Brazilian
This progressive South American nation is showcased by a lesbian couple in love.
D
Erika Cunha (left)
and Melanie Cain
istance brought college chums Erika Cunha
and Melanie Cain into each other's arms.
When Cain went to study abroad in Australia
she included Cunha as a recipient of her
travel blog. 'J\fter exchanging emails for a few months,
and getting to know each other a bit more, I
couldn't wait to spend time with Erika in
person;' says Cain."When I returned, the
connection between us was electrifying.
And here we are, 12 years later, still
deeply in love:'
It didn't take long for Cain,
a native Floridian, and Cunha,
who's from Brazil, to realize that
they both really liked to travel,
and in the same way. After they
graduated from the University
of Florida, they took a year off
to explore-Australia,
Southeast
Asia, the Pacific, Europe, Central and
South America-always
immersing
themselves in local culture, and when
Cunha took Cain to Brazil, the idea of
Green Roots Travel was born.
"I had brought many friends to Brazil
over the years, and Melanie absolutely
fell in love with my country;' says Cunha. "So we thought,
'Why not share this wonderful country and culture
with others:" We love feeling like locals, not tourists.
We love the outdoors, exploring places beyond what is
offered in the guide books. Whether it's an amazing local
restaurant, or a beach that only locals go to, or meeting
the people who actually live in the communities-it
is
these authentic experiences and moments that make your
holiday unforgettable. We knew that there were people
out there who like to travel in the same way we do:'
Through Green Roots Travel, Cain and Cunha can give
you a personalized, insider perspective on Brazil. But as
lesbians, they can also give you the real gay~friendly deal.
In terms of equal rights, Brazil is proactive, and should
be at the top of your must~see list for that reason alone.
In May, Brazil's Supreme Court voted overwhelmingly in
favor of allowing same~sex couples to have the same 112
legal rights as married couples. In fact, ever since the end
of the military dictatorship in 1985, and the creation of
the new Constitution of Brazil in 1988, the country recog~
nizes bi~national couples and grants partners permanent
visas. Many states in Brazil have been known to give
adoption rights to lesbian mothers. So it's no surprise
that Cain and Cunha are happy to show Brazil's many
attractions off to Green Roots visitors.
Brazilians know how to celebrate and throw a great
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GREENROOTS'TRAVELPICKS
THINGSTO DO
"Brazil is such a large country that knowing where to go
and what to see can be daunting without expert help. We
never send anyone to a place we have not personally visited
ourselves. We work directly with local guides and hotels to
ensure that our clients get personalized service every step
of the way," says Cunha.
BEACHBUMS:Brazil has the longest continuous coastline in
the world, so its beaches and islands are a must. Choose
from Rio de Janeiro's beautiful, gay-friendly lpanema and
Copacabana beaches or hop on a plane to the romantic
island paradise of Fernando de Noronha, recommends
Cunha. "This protected marine sanctuary is the perfect spot
for horseback riding on deserted beaches, scuba diving
with dolphins and sipping champagne from your ocean-view
veranda. But, if you are looking for beautiful beaches and
a laid-back lifestyle, you must experience one of Brazil's
northeastern beaches, such as Jericoacoara or Praia da
Pipa. Or head south to the island of Florianopolis for ecofriendly natural beauty paired with the hottest parties."
Buzios-once known only as the sleepy fishing village where
Bridget Bardot first sported her famous bikini-is now a
hot spot for international visitors and has many tropical
beaches. And explore the charming colonial town of Paraty
on the Green Coast, with its 200-plus islands.
party (think Carnival), but exactly how well-received
are two lesbians out on the town in a Latin
American countryr
"Lesbians and gay men will feel right at home
in Rio de Janeiro or Sao Paulo;' says Cain. "And
as two women traveling to all regions of Brazil,
we have always felt very safe. Brazilians identify
with the term 'GLS; which stands for gays, lesbians and sympathizers. Many venues that classify
themselves as gay will often have a slightly mixed
gay-straight clientele. Whether you are enjoying
an ice-cold beer at an after-beach cafe or strutting
your stuff on the dance floor, you will experience
Brazil's friendly and open culture:'
Just how open and friendlyr Enough to have
single lesbians sashaying with a bossa nova beat
right on into the Portuguese-speaking
melting
pot. "Brazilian women have a reputation for being
sun-kissed hotties, and rightly so;' says Cain.
"But beauty runs so much more than skin deep
here. People make connections with the locals, and
often find themselves with new friendships that
last a lifetime:'
And making meaningful connections is something Cunha and Cain know a little something
about. (greenrootstravel.com) [MerrynJohns]
CULTURE
VULTURES:
In Rio, dine in Michelin-rated restaurants,
dance the night away at a Samba club or ride a catamaran
across the bay to the Modern Art Museum. Southwest of
Rio is the hilltop neighborhood of Santa Teresa, Brazil's
Montmartre, where you can browse the local galleries, sample
Brazilian gastronomy and shop for the latest fashions.
PARTYANIMALS:Brazil boasts the world's biggest, most
inclusive party, Carnival, a weeklong celebration held in
February or March. According to Guinness World Records,
the Sao Paulo Gay Pride Parade is the world's largest LGBT
Pride celebration, with over 3 million attending.
NATURE
LOVERS:
The Amazon is an obvious choice but also
consider the wildlife viewing floodplains of the Pantanal, the
sweeping sand dunes of Jericoacoara and the mind-blowing
intensity of the waterfalls at Foz do lguacu. If you don't have
time to leave Rio, visit the largest urban rainforest in the
world, the Tijuca Forest.
WHENTOGO
Brazil is a year-round destination, with seasons opposite
to those in North America. Low season is SeptemberNovember, when you may benefit from better pricing, better
weather and fewer crowds. Rainy seasons vary by region.
Just ask Green Roots Travel when and where your desires
will best be served.
September 2011
I 59
Lesbian Locales
S
Setting out on an Arctic
adventure in search of
polar bears.
ByAmy Lame
queezing into a seven-seater plane dubbed the
Turbo Beaver may seem like the perfect start to a
women-only vacation in the wilds of the Canadian
Arctic. But I overpacked (you never know when
you might need a pair of five-inch stilettos, even on a polar
bear expedition), and I was convinced my overstuffed bags
would prevent takeoff. I need not have feared. Our pilot,
Nelson, turned to me in a Top Gun moment, gave a thumbsup and said, "Let's do it!" As we soared across the tundra,
hugging the Hudson Bay coastline, I kept my eyes peeled
for any sign of polar bears. Once, when I was sure I had
glimpsed white fur, Nelson deadpanned, "It's a boulder:'
Traveling to the 59th parallel is not for the fainthearted,
but I was determined to make my lifelong dream a reality
and observe polar bears in the wild. Polar, panda, brown,
black or grizzly-I'm
a big fan of bears in all forms ...
heck, even most of my gay male friends are bears. We give
bears human qualities, but in reality they are nothing like
Paddington, Winnie and Baloo. And they certainly don't
wear a collar and tie like Yogi in Jellystone Park. Scary
and adorable, bears have a compelling alchemy: attraction, danger and mystery. Plus, I'm jealous that they get
to hibernate.
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When we were safely on the ground, nerves were soothed
with hot coffee and freshly baked gingersnaps. What a
relief! wasn't forced to eat boiled leather and lichen, as Sir
John Franklin did on his 19th-century Arctic expedition.
At Dymond Lake Lodge, Jeannie Reimer supervises the
kitchen alongside her mother, Helen Webber, who is the
co-author of the best-selling Blueberries and Polar Bears
cookbook series. The lodge is perched on a strip of land
bordered by Dymond Lake and Hudson Bay, 18 and half
miles) from the nearest town, Churchill. Its remote location allows for the rare experience of true silence. And the
huge picture windows mean that bear patrol was possible
from the cozy comfort of a fireside rocking chair.
Jeannie and her husband, Mike, own the bespoke
wooden eco-lodge with her parents; together they welcome guests for hunting, fishing and wildlife adventures.
For six weeks of the year-mid-October
to the end of
November-all
attention turns to the polar bear migration. Polar bears may be cute, but they can kill; males grow
to 10 feet and well over 1,500 pounds. Mike facilitated the
round-the-dock polar bear watch to be sure we caught a
glimpse of a bear if one came near, but most importantly
to ensure our safety. We were always escorted by bodyguards armed with rifles and pepper spray, even on the
25-foot outdoor walk from the accommodation lodge to
the dining lodge.
Frankly, I was enthralled by the prospect of spotting
a polar bear, whether it tried to attack me or not. This
stretch of Hudson Bay is the launchpad from which more
than 1,000 bears annually migrate north in search of seals
for food. But for the bears to start their trip, the bay needs
to freeze. Until that happens, the bears are on the tundra
in a state of walking hibernation. So we explored on foot
with super-strong binoculars and very warm coats, guards
in tow. We watched, waited, watched some more. We
spotted a falcon, a weasel, a wolf, a fox, snow buntings and
seals. But no bears ... yet.
We give bears human qualities,
but in reality they are nothing like
Paddington, Winnie and Baloo And
they certainly don't wear a collar
and tie likeYogi in Jellystone Park.
When the harsh Arctic wind got to be too much, an
afternoon cooking lesson or a spot of beauty therapy was
just the antidote. Complimentary treatments were on tap,
and my freshly painted hot-pink nails might have attracted
the bears' attention if the laughter of the 14 women on the
expedition hadn't scared them away.
For one week in the polar bear calendar, women are
invited to Dymond Lake to get in touch with their wild
side. Ronnie ran morning yoga sessions and country line
dancing lessons. Susan led power tundra walks. Wendy
coaxed us out of bed at midnight to see the Aurora Borealis.
Happy-hour blueberry martinis induced some highly
September 2011
I 61
Lesbian Locales
entertammg antics, including Orla's spontaneous Irish
dancing and Ronnie's flat-chested Dolly Parton impersonation. An impromptu kd lang karaoke session seemed
only right given our expansive Canadian surroundings.
In all this fun, the serious issue of global warming
loomed large. After all, we were women with a mission
to see polar bears, the unofficial poster child for climate
change. But I questioned whether traveling to the Arctic
could be justified, if my carbon footprint would be indelibly marked on the landscape.
Our guide, Ian, insisted "The more people see bears, the
more they want to protect them:' As I hadn't yet seen a
bear, I had to take his word for it. One thing is certain:
Climate change affects the bears' migration. Bears get onto
NEEDTO KNOW
The cost of the Great Ice Bear Tour in October
and November starts at $7,574 per person plus
tax. Includes return airfare from Winnipeg to
Churchill, return aerial transfers from Churchill
to Dymond Lake Lodge and all necessary
ground transfers, one night in Churchill, three
nights at the lodge and two nights in Winnipeg,
five breakfasts, four lunches, five dinners and
all activities while at the lodge.
MORE INFORMATION
CHURCHILL
WILD:churchillwild.com
CANADIAN
TOURISM
COMMISSION:
canada.travel
TRAVEL
MANITOBA:
travelmanitoba.com
POLARBEARSINTERNATIONAL:
polarbearsinternational.com
GAYCANADA:
travelgaycanada.com
the ice later, which means they are less likely to survive
until the spring thaw. Overall, the polar bear population
in the Arctic is stable, between 20,000 and 25,000,
but predictions for the future are bleak. I was surprised
to learn that polar bears are a threatened, but not endangered, species. Polar bear hunting is legal (albeit highly
controlled) in Canada, even for Caucasians. First Peoples
are given hunting privileges in accordance with their
heritage and experience.
After our jaunt at Dymond Lake, with not a bear
in sight, we were keen to see at least one of the elusive
creatures, so we boarded a tundra buggy in Churchill,
the Polar Bear Capital of the World. A cross between a
tractor and a bus, the tundra buggy is eco-friendly, comes
camouflaged in white and can easily cross the rocky terrain
of the Arctic. It was a surprise, then, that we broke down.
Needless to say, there's no AAA in the Arctic, and I didn't
want to ruin my manicure by pushing. Eventually, we were
rescued by another buggy carrying a team from Polar
Bears International (PBI), a nonprofit dedicated to the
preservation of polar bears and their habitat worldwide.
Our disaster turned 180 degrees, and PBI volunteers plied
us with tales of the important conservation and research
work they do around the world.
And yes. We saw polar bears. Three, to be exact. The
moment we pulled up alongside a bank of tundra scrub
and saw the first bear serenely sitting, watching, waiting
for the ice to freeze, it was awesome. Gasps were followed
by eerie silence. We knew we were privileged to witness
nature at her wildest. I was amazed at the bears' calm
curiosity. Their stature and rippling muscles as they
walked across the tundra. Their tiny ears and eyes. Their
webbed feet, humped backs and yawning stretches.
It was a life-changing moment-and
Ian was right.
Now that I've seen polar bears in all their power and
vulnerability, I definitely want to protect them. ■
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62
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Croatian
Heartland
Discovering ancient
lesbian lore in Croatia.
ByAmy Deneson
T
he town of Perusic was big enough to be included
on a map of Croatia but too small for guidebooks
to mention. I had no idea what to expect when my
partner Melinda and I pulled off the highway and
followed the signs to the birthplace of my great-grandfather. When the roads narrowed to single lanes, compact
cars gave way to tractors and concrete turned back into
cobblestone, we found Perusic. The farming village
spread across the rolling green and golden hills of the
Eastern European countryside looked somewhat similar
to the place my ancestors emigrated to in Iowa, settled
and never left.
''A kokos!" I cried, as a rooster ran into the road. A real
one. As far back as I can remember, my Grandma would
call out, "Who's my kokost And I would caw "Me!" in
return. And perhaps it was this childhood nickname that
first piqued my curiosity about our family's Croatian heritage. Maybe it was because I looked the most Croatianof all my third-generation American ethnicities-with
olive eyes, hair the color of dark honey and Mediterranean
skin. Or it could have been that once I discovered Croatia's
landscape included over a thousand islands bobbing in the
crisp Adriatic Sea along the country's craggy 3,000-mile
shoreline, I couldn't wait to go there.
When my trip was booked, Grandma sent a stack of
dusty airmail envelopes from her old-country cousin in
Croatia's capital city, Zagreb. They dated back four decades.
Most were Easter greetings between two devout Catholics.
There were a couple of long, laboriously translated letters
explaining our ever-expanding relations. And three photos.
Running my fingers along the typewriter ink that over the
years had blurred into a fuzzy gray font like Grandma's
September 2011
I 63
Lesbian Locales
64
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hair, I traced my roots. Actually, I Google-mapped them
across the heartland of Croatia.
Melinda and I landed in Zagreb on a Sunday to find the
capital almost entirely closed. Over 90 percent of Croatians
profess to be Christians, nearly all of them Catholic. I
planned to visit the monastery at the return address listed
on the nun's letters but thought better of dropping in on
the Sabbath. We bided our time exploring Zagreb-a
treasure map of outdoor sculptures, brightly tiled rooftops
and gardens ranging from an enchanted beer garden on top
of a funicular to a botanical garden in full July bloom.
The following morning we pulled up to a coral church at
Moscenicka 3. Inside the atrium, I tried to explain myself
in the halting Hrvatski I'd been practicing in Teach Yourself
Croatian on my iPod for months. I knew how to request a
room with a view or white wine, but"I believe I'm related
to a nun who lives here-if she's still alive" was never covered. Eventually between Melinda's Spanish and the nun's
knowledge of Italian from Vatican prayers, they cobbled
together the explanation: Madre de la Madre. Escribe.Esta
aya (The mother of the mother write this girl).
Ah yes! The nun escorted us into a visiting room that
had clearly been decorated with care where a gaggle of
"The nun you are looking for ... " he said, "is dead:'
There was no time to mourn. Miraculously, one of the
three photos I carried was of the nun's niece, my distant
cousin, Anica. She belonged to the parish and lived nearby.
"What does JUSt up the hill' meant Melinda asked.
"We'll see;' I said, turning the hand-drawn map upside
down or right side up or sideways. After a couple of wrong
turns and knocking on a deserted house with the same
address number on a different road, we rounded a corner
and saw them. Three generations of family on the lookout
from every level of their two-story home. Grandma hung
half out of the upstairs' picture window. Mom and Dad
surveyed the streets from the second floor balcony. And the
three teenage daughters spread out oldest to youngest from
the front door to the end of the yard. They were all shouting
excitedly "From Americat
They welcomed us in and despite being separated by
time, countries, religion and language; they felt like relatives and their hospitality, a homecoming. My cousin,
Anica, taught me how to pronounce Grandma's maiden
name, Marinac, Marine-natz instead of Mare-rin-nack.
I drew our family tree, showed them Iowa on a map and
added three of the daughters to my Facebook friends list.
nuns greeted us from behind a locked gate in the far wall.
"She's upstairs sleeping;' they explained, lifting their
jubilant faces heavenward. Melinda and I cheered. We
yelped and laughed at the luck. We almost kissed out of
habit but pulled back for a prolonged high-five hug. Until
they got the priest, who explained in perfect, projected
pulpit-like English that my cousin was really upstairs,
really,reallysleeping.
Anica challenged the love story my great-grandparents had
passed down on our side of the Atlantic Ocean. We heard
that Grandpa emigrated, made good and then sent for
Grandma. According to my cousins, they met on the boat.
Two independent travelers on their way to the new world,
which sounded like my stock.
They sent us on our way with raspberries from their
garden and boxes of hazelnut cookies. "Eat lamb in
Perusic;' they shouted by way of goodbye.
Driving through my great~grandfather's birthplace, there were plenty
of sheep braying through pastures but no restaurants. Short of knocking
on someone's one~story stone home door and joining them for lunch
we were out of luck. After l0~minute laps from one end of town to the
other, we turned toward a pink church on the hill. I was drawn to it even
though I've steered away from religion for most of my adult life.
The lovingly maintained medieval gothic church was the pride of the
town as well as the surrounding region of Lika. I imagined my great~
grandfather walked this very way for services, weddings, funerals and
potlucks.
I found it surprisingly meaningful to stand where my ancestors surely
stood. I took in the country breeze, fresh scent of growing corn, and blue
sky on the kind of day that inspires picnics. Wildflowers bloomed along
the path interspersed with puffy granddaddy dandelions just waiting for
a strong wind to carry their seeds to faraway places.
"Ready?"Melindaasked,takingmyhand.Wewereonlydrivingthrough.
There were no hotels in Perusic, nor was it the place for tourists.
Days later, while lounging on the sun~soaked island of Hvar where
lavender grows like grass and the sea is the color of emeralds wrapped
in Tiffany blue, I was beach~reading Croatia: A Nation Forged in War
by Marcus Tanner. I was nearing the end of the 18th century in his
expansive 1,000~year overview of the nation's history when Tanner
mentioned Perusic. He quoted an Italian traveler and scribe, Alberto
Fortis, who witnessed a same~sex union between two women at the
church in Perusic and recorded it in his Travels into Dalmatia (1778),
saying: "The satisfaction that sparkled in their eyes when the ceremony
was performed gave a convincing proof that delicacy of sentiments is
found in minds not formed, nor rather not corrupted, by society:'
"Lesbians got married at that pink church in Perusic;' I gasped.
"We were there! That's where I come from;' I said in awe. ■
Luxe Lesbian Croatia
Indulge in Croatia's world-class luxury, spectacular
scenery and lesbian-friendly hospitality.
Flyto ZagrebonAir France(Affairesclassoffersunlimited
champagne).
Checkintothe centrallylocated,five-star
RegentEsplanade
Hotelanddelightin the luxurious1920s
charmwith modernamenities(regenthotels.com).
After
savoringstrukli,a specialtynoodlericottadishthat will
makeyourwaiter'sfacelight up uponordering,meander
thoughZagreb'sgardenshostingsculpturesby renowned
artistIvanMestrovic-includingthe life-sizedsilverbustof
poetAntonGustavMatosgazingoverthe capitalcityscape.
Renta car whenyou'rereadyto moveon.
Explorethe UNESCO
WorldHeritageSiteof Plitvice
LakesNationalParkin the heartlandregionof Lika.Stay
at the privatehouseSobeSanKoranain the borderingvillage
(sankorana.com).
Aftermarvelingall morningat countless
waterfallscascadinginto 16 interconnected
lakesfrom
the park'sdusty,woodenpathways,the owner,knownas
"Boris'Dad,"will showyoua solitaryswimmingspot.
Islandhoppingis a mustin Croatia,andSplitis a gatewayportfor ferries.I recommend
stayinga 30-minutedrive
upthe roadin Trogir(trogir-palace.com).
Cobblestones
guidethe wayto architecturalwonders.Carveddoorways
leadto freshwholefish dinners.A medievalcastlehosts
concertsandfootballmatches.
If youmustpickoneisland,chooseHvar.Thedazzling
sun-soakedislandis purepleasure-seeking
bliss.
Rejuvenate
at HotelPodstine,
an unpretentious
four-star
nestledon a limestonecliff (podstine.com).
Reinvigorate
yourfive sensesat their holisticAMOspawherecouple
treatmentsuselocallavender,
grapes,oliveoil andsalt.
Aftersunningonthe privatebeach,dondesignernautical
wearandwalk 15 minutesseasideto HvarTown.Kickoff
the nightlife-likely to includeyacht-hopping
with bottles
of excellentlocalwhite-by diningat Maconda,
a seafood
restaurantto relish.
Affectionately
referredto asthe "Pearlof theAdriatic,"
the Dubrovnik
OldTownis constructedalmostentirely
of marbleandperpetuallypolishedbyvisitorsshuffling
pastits 10thcenturywallsseekingelevatedvistas.Follow
the weather-beaten
woodensignsColdDrinkswith the
MostBeautifulViewto BuzaBar.Thefive-starHotelVilla
Dubrovnikwhisksyouawayfromthe bakingstonestreets
in a Venetianspeedboatwhereyoumayoverlookthe
Adriaticfroma chicsuitewith a Jacuzzibalconyor dive
in froma tieredsundeckoverthe rockyshoreline(villadubrovnik.hr).
Skybarsunsetslive upto their promiseof
"RomanceForever."
Summeris the besttime to visit Croatia.Specialevents
to considerareDubrovnik'sInternational
Wine& Jazz
Festivalin May(dubrovnikwinejazz.com)
andSummer
Festivalin JuneandJuly (dubrovnik-festival.hr)
andZagreb
Pridein June(Zagreb-pride.net).
Croatiais a religious
country.Whilehomosexuality
is not illegalandacceptance
abundant,the LGBTcommunityis currentlyemerging
in Zagreb.
September 2011
I 65
Lesbian Locales
PROFILE
Nordic and Nice
A lesbian couple invites gay girls to experience Iceland's queer culture.
S
o small is the Icelandic population-lesbian
and
otherwise-that
when Eva Maria J:>orarinsdottir
Lange and Birna Hronn Bjornsd6ttir met on a
dancefloor at the Reykjavik Gay Pride women's
party four years ago, they were surprised they hadn't already
met. "I thought I knew all the Icelandic lesbians, especially
the beautiful ones!" laughs Birna. Sparks flew, and such was
their connection that the two formed a romantic relation~
ship-and the music duo DJ Glimmer-simultaneously.
Meeting lesbians in Iceland happens mostly through
personal introduction and, to date, the country has only one
gay and lesbian cafe, T nin6, and one dance club, Barbara,
which is upstairs from T nin6. But the lesbian community is
vibrant and dedicated, says Birna. She should know-she
and Eva Maria are the managers of Barbara and the owners
of T nin6, which hosts lesbian events aimed at the young
crowd that networks on the website Lez~Jungle. For older
women, there is a local club, called KMK, with an interest
in sports, traveling and hosting special women's nights; it
also offers a safe haven for late bloomers and those leaving
heterosexual marriages. A newly formed gay parents asso~
ciation caters to the Icelandic lesbian baby boom and Birna
says that RSVPs to girls' nights often include the caveat
"We'll definitely come if we can get a sitter:'
66
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With Johanna Sigurdardottir, an out lesbian, as prime
minister, it is little wonder that lesbian life in Iceland is
good. According to Birna, Sigurdardottir's sexuality received
"zero coverage" in the Icelandic media. "She has been a pol~
itician for decades and with her wife for almost 10 years
now. (They] were the first to take advantage of the marriage
laws passed on June 27, which was the final step in making
LGBT rights equal to those of straight people:' In fact, Gay
Pride in Iceland is one of the nation's biggest celebrations
and is supported by politicians-the
mayor of Reykjavik
had his own float last year and dressed up in drag.
But the best news for lesbians interested in visiting Iceland
is that this tight~knit community is especially welcoming to
its sisters from abroad. Birna and Eva Maria hope that
you'll consider them your hosts. In addition to DJing and
event planning, they have founded Pink Iceland, the
country's first and only LGBT tourism company. Pink
Iceland can assist you in creating a truly lesbian itinerary.
Birna and Eva Maria will enthusiastically share their inside
knowledge on everything from the cosiest accommodations to
the most spectacular sightseeing excursions. And all Pink
Iceland tours are organized in collaboration with their
gay~owned, gay~operated or gay~friendly "pink partners:'
(pinkiceland.is)[MerrynJohns]
PINKICELAND'SPICKS
THINGSTO DO
• The breathtaking scenery and numerous
natural hot baths of the West Fjords
• Whale watching off the coast of
Reykjavik
• A dip in a geothermal pool followed by
some local ice cream
• A gay history walk in Reykjavik: The
struggle for gay rights dates back to the
19th century
• A homestay or excursion with a mystic
healer, Ms. Moon
• White-water rafting, a rugged 4x4 Super
Jeep tour, diving or snorkeling
FOOD ANO DRINK
WHENTOGO
• Taste the local beer-it's
excellent
"Iceland is two countries, one in the
winter and one in the summer. We
recommend all seasons, but the high
season is summer with our midnight
sun and light 24/7," says Sirna. "The
first weekend of August is Reykjavfk
Gay Pride. Winter can also be very
interesting with its snow, the northern
lights and great winter activities."
• Incredibly fresh seafood
at Icelandic Fish & Chips
• A must-have is Icelandic
lamb, served in all the best
restaurants
• Try a hot dog at the
world-famous Bcejarins
Beztu hot dog stand
September 2011
I 67
BASTIAN
Life'sa
Beach
F
Fort Lauderdale turns
on the sun for lesbians.
By Merryn Johns
ort Lauderdale, the South Florida beachside town
once considered a quieter alternative to the edgy,
more cosmopolitan Miami, has now come into its
own-especially
for gays and lesbians. With an
estimated 150 LGBT~owned and operated businesses,
it is eclipsing Miami and Key West as gay destinations.
Fort Lauderdale's gay travel market-a market in its own
right-contributes a sizable chunk to the estimated 1 billion
dollars spent by tourists there each year. The good news
for lesbians who are yet to acquaint themselves with this
city on the beach, which lacks the high rise and hustle
of Miami, is that the town is low~key and affordable,
with a healthy balance of nature and culture, an almost
endless stretch of beautiful coastline, several parks, a solid
gay neighborhood with a great lesbian bar and countless
palate~pleasing restaurants.
WHERETO SlJ\Y
While there is a plethora of gay establishments
68
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in Fort
Lauderdale for the boys-some
of which are clothing
optional-unfortunately
there is no such luck for lesbians
(note to lesbian entrepreneurs: There's a gap in the market).
There are, however, a number of gay and lesbian~friendly
establishments that are both reasonable and stylish and
extremely welcoming of women. Our pick is B Ocean
(bhotelsandresorts.com). Located right on the beach this
sleek white landmark, which was recently completely
renovated, boasts ocean views from most rooms, possesses
a relaxed yet upbeat atmosphere and should definitely
be on the lesbian radar-especially
after we observed
Leisha Hailey checking in.
WHERETO EAT
One of the many pleasures of eating in Fort Lauderdale
is the option of alfresco dining. There's really nothing
like relaxing beachside with a cold cocktail, a cool breeze
and excellent food. The elegant yet laid back H20 Cafe
(h2ocafe.net) offers up modern Italian~inspired cuisine
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WHATTODO
with an emphasis on seafood. For lesbian carnivores,
dinner at New York-style steakhouse Rare (rarelasolas.
com) in the upmarket Las Olas Boulevard is a must. For
vegetarians and those who love them, Sublime restaurant
and bar (sublimerestaurant.com) is sophisticated and satisfying, and for Asian fusion enthusiasts you can't beat the
generous servings and spice at Galanga! (galangarestaurant.com). I£ like us, you love to support lesbian-owned
businesses, we heartily recommend the petite lesbianowned bistro, Le Patio (lepatiowiltonmanors.com), which
serves continental comfort food. A long-term Irish-French
couple, Jean Doherty and Vero Leroux, run the restaurant
with their daughter Kathleen, and they are fairly sure that
the newish establishment is the only lesbian-owned and
restaurant in South Florida.
WHERETOGO OUT
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The neighborhood of Wilton Manors is fast becoming a
gay mecca. This is where all the gay bars are located and
many gay locals live (nearby Oakland Park is a favorite with lesbians, you may bump into Dani Campbell).
Lesbians are free to roam pretty much anywhere here
but we felt at home in Sidelines Sports Bar (sidelinessports.
com), a fun place to hang out and watch a game, play a
game, or enjoy super-cheap drinks specials. For a lesbianonly environment, the down-to-earth and friendly New
Moon (newmoonbar.com) is the place to go for a few
brews, a game of pool, and the opportunity to flirt with the
local lezzies. If you want an outrageous night of drag dining
and debaucherous divas head to LIPS (lipsusa.com).
One of the first things you'll notice about Fort Lauderdale
is that the locals are fit. The vast stretch of golden-sand
beach and the many outdoor activities on offer encourage an active lifestyle, so make the most of it when you
visit. There are numerous gay beaches to choose from:
Sebastian Street, which is right on Fort Lauderdale beach,
or nearby Terramar Street. Local lesbians like the far
north end of the beach, which is less crowded, or head
to John Lloyd State Park (in Dania, which is South of
the airport) for a very natural vibe. You can also rent a segway
(mcruzrentals.com) and tour through the Hugh Taylor
Birch State Park, which is right on the beach, the route
affording lush subtropical vegetation and beautiful views.
For those looking to take a real walk on the wild sidethink alligators-head out to the exotic Everglades, which
are a reasonable drive from town. Take a Swamp Buggy ecotour and airboat ride at Billie Swamp Safari (billieswamp.
com), perfect if you want a dose of wildlife or have kids
to entertain. Lunch on the Big Cypress Seminole Indian
Reservation (semtribe.com/safari) is a lesson in history.
Comparatively low-key adventure options in the heart
of Fort Lauderdale include snorkeling, parasailing, kitesurfing, and kayaking along the intercoastal where you may
catch sight of a manatee. A lazier way to enjoy the waterways (Fort Lauderdale is the Venice of America!) is to buy
a water taxi day pass and bar hop along the intercoastal,
window shopping for yachts.
If your idea of adventure travel is high-octane shopping,
opt instead for some luxury retail therapy at Sawgrass Mills.
Florida's largest retail center features almost two miles of
shops and 400 name brand outlet stores including Prada,
Burberry, Bloomingdales, Saks Fifth Avenue, DKNY,
Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, and more. Reward your bargain hunting with antipasti at Villagio restaurant and head
back to the beach to try on that new swimsuit. ■
GAY FUNIN THESUN
Always bountiful, Fort Lauderdale has not one, but two Prides:
in February/March (pridesouthflorida.org) as well as June
(the Stonewall Street Festival & Parade).
• Read up on LGBT South Florida with the
Florida Agenda (floridaagenda.com)
• For your complete guide to what's on in
Fort Lauderdale for queers, go to glbt.sunny.org
• For some sporty fun, check in with the girls at the
South Florida Amateur Athletic Association (sfaaa.net)
• If you want to network with lesbian business types while
in town (maybe you'll meet a local yacht-owning lovely),
reach out to Women in Network (womeninnetwork.com)
September 2011
I 69
Lesbian Locales
AlternatJve
DIQS
A recession-proof
strategy to keep you
globe-trotting.
By Stephanie Schroeder
F
ancy hotels are great, but they are hard on the
pocketbook. Bargain hotel rooms-those
set aside
for tourists-are
a wallet~friendly alternative, but
are all too often both sterile ( as in not very wel~
coming) and not very clean.
But before you decide you're doomed to yet another stay~
cation, there is a fun route to conserving cash and still having
your dream holiday: Utilize alternative accommodations such
as home exchange/ apartment swaps and temporary hosted
accommodations. Embarking upon any of these options is
an adventure in itself-and well worth the effort.
Not only is it budget friendly, but living in someone's
home while you're on vacation allows you to authentically
experience a locale, not just the four white walls of a hotel.
You can, of course, still dine out. However, there are those
of us who think it's exciting to pick up provisions at a local
produce stand, butcher shop or cheese market and actually
prepare meals in foreign territory.
I'll never forget the thrill of my first home exchange
adventure. I wanted to visit Paris but stumbled upon an
ad on Craigslist for a "small historic town in Holland:'
Intrigued, I changed course, pursued that exchange and
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made a dear friend of the writer of the online ad. Plus,
the lovely home at Hofdijkstraat 3 in Alkmaar, Holland,
was the just beginning of my journey to loving alternative
accommodations for travel.
Resources available for home exchange arrangements
range from the local Craigslist House Swap section (where
I've found four of the seven swaps I've made); to mainstream exchange sites such as Jewett Street (jewettstreet.
com); to specifically LGBT sites such as Home Around
the World (homearoundtheworld.com).
With the rise in popularity of couch
surnng and a dedicated site for
nnding surfers and securing a
couch, the idea of paying for a
couch, or better yet a bed, has
become more common than ever
Ken Russell, the proprietor of Home Around the World,
recently updated his site to include gay-friendly travelers
offering their homes, as well as gay and gay-friendly
vacation rentals and hotel recommendations. Russell
concurs with my own belie£ born of experience, that home
exchange is not simply a business transaction but a relationship, one that can turn into a friendship, produce an
extended family or simply become a continuing exchange
situation. Home Around the World does a brisk business,
generally transmitting 50 to 100 messages a day.
I've experienced every aspect of home exchange by swapping my various Brooklyn pads for ones in Amsterdam,
Dublin, London, Stockholm, Bologna, Vancouver and
London again. All have worked out fabulously. All the
characters I've swapped with have had different quirks,
and I've had a different kind of relationship with each
of them. One disappeared out of my life while another
was a great friend until he died last year. Those whom I've
never met I keep in touch with via Facebook. With other
swap partners, I've actually met members of their family
before, or in lieu 0£ meeting them. The sister of a woman
I swapped with comes to Brooklyn every summer and we
are great pals. I've never met her sister, whose London
apartment I inhabited for two weeks several years ago.
While saving dough and living like a local has broad
appeal, lots of folks are understandably skeptical about
leaving their home in the hands of people they've never
met before.
To really feel good about an exchange, you need to
have open communication. If you're not on a gay site, you
definitely need to come out. Europeans for the most part
aren't hung up on sexuality the way Americans are, and it's
mostly no big deal. But everyone should know what he or
she is getting into-so honesty is essential.
Write a captivating online description of your property,
yes; but don't lie. If yours is not a safe neighborhood to be
out in, tell your queer exchange partner. If you don't have
an elevator, fess up. Do exchange online photo albums of
your respective abodes, yourselves (if you care to), and
links to your professional or personal website or Facebook
page. An online presence makes it more real and gives you
the information you need to feel good about leaving your
space (and keys) in someone else's hands.
Aside from home exchange, hosted in-home guest
accommodations are another option for the frugal traveler. With the rise in popularity of couch surfing and a
dedicated site for finding surfers and securing a couch, the
idea of paying for a couch, or better yet a bed, has become
more common than ever. Three major online communities that compete in the hosted accommodations space are
Airbnb, Wimdu and Roomorama.
I've hosted many guests through Airbnb. Every situation
has turned out fine. Some guests are more demanding than
others, but building in personal parameters and livingarrangement boundaries is essential, as both a guest and a
host. In-home accommodations are yet another adventure
to prepare and be prepared for. All the sites I mentioned
give you the option to make your own "house rules" as
strict or as flexible as you like.
Don't let a down economy dampen your wanderlust.
Instead, let your adventurous spirit fly as you swap, surf
and see the world. ■
TIPSFORNEWBIES
What if they steal my stuff?
No one is going to fly halfway around the
world-or even travel from the next state
over-to pinch personal belongings that
have meaning only to you. Also, you'll be at
their place, and your swap partner needs
and wants to be able to trust you just as
much as you need and want to trust them.
How can I make sure the swapper is
aboveboard?
You can ensure the legitimacy of identities
and addresses, receive background checks,
report abuse, avail yourself of mediation
services, and obtain legal forms for motor
vehicle and other exchanges by swapping
with a CHEC-certified (chectravel.com)
exchange partner. It costs $25 annually to
be a member. Most individuals looking for
swaps are not members of CHEC. However,
many exchange sites are.
September 2011
I 71
REVIEWSMusic Watch
MusicFor Lovers
A queer electro-pop trio worth fallingfor. By Dave Steinfeld
The Portland, Ore.,based band Lovers has
spent much of the first half of 2011 on the
road in support of their album Dark Light,
which arrived last fall. This disc finds the
longtime leader Carolyn Berk joined by
percussionist and synth programmer Emily
Kingan and fellow syn th programmer (and
performance artist) Kerby Ferris. The result
is an album that is more group,oriented than
previous Lovers outings. As singer,songwriter
Berk says, "I felt very supported and respected
during the recording process. That was a really
eye,opening feminist experience for me. If I
could give my younger,self advice about ere,
ative collaboration, it would be to make sure
there is an enormous level of mutual respect.
Because in art, there is no 'right' way to do
something:' Indeed, though they haven't pre,
viously recorded as a band, the members of
Lovers have been acquainted with each other
721
curve
for nearly a decade. Kingan was touring with
The Haggard, a female hardcore band based
in Portland, back in 2002 when she invited
Berk to join the bill after the latter's van
broke down. Berk did team up with Kingan's
band-and
Ferris was their roadie!
Dark Light is an appropriate title for this
release as its 10 tracks combine synth,heavy
arrangements with Berk's plaintive, sometimes
yearning vocals for an effect that is oddly
mechanical and human at the same time.
Kingan explains, "I programmed the synths
and drum beats into a piece of equipment
called a Roland MC,505. I chose to use this
sequencer in particular because it has a very
warm sound with a wide range of frequen,
cies. We didn't quantize the synth parts, but
recorded them with more human looseness
and swing:' Ferris adds, 'J\n electronic music
project that is lyrically driven and focused has
been a dream of mine for many years. I'm a
total technophile and a total humanist, and I
see our musical style as a way of negotiating
those themes: As a way to use human inno,
vations not as instruments of sterile isolation
and uniformity, but as a means to further
our connections with one another:' Perhaps
coincidentally, the catchy "Don't You Want It"
contains the great line "I make alliances with
the appliances:' Elsewhere on the album, the
track "Peppermint" flirts with more existen,
tial themes. "I wrote that song when I was 21
or 22;' reveals Berk. "I remember sitting alone
in an empty room in my house and the song
just sort of started playing itsel£ It's on the
first album I ever made, Starlit Sunken Ship,
but I wanted to re,record it and update the
sound because lyrically, it still feels relevant. I
think of it as a lullaby, a little prayer of hope
and connection:'
Riot Grrrl Revisited
The members of Lovers share a deep and
abiding affection for their Northwestern
hometown."One of the best parts of Portland
is its commitment to sustainability;' says
Kingan. "There are so many farmers' markets
community gardens and options for public
transportation. There are lots of programs
and grants available to help small businesses.
It's geographically beautiful-close
to the
ocean, close to the mountains and the desert.
Portland has a very supportive independent
music and arts scene as well, which has been
really good to us:'
Ferris echoes Kingan's feelings adding,
"[There's] a very feminine and nurturing
kind of energy [here] that I think has served
the city well. Communities in Portland are
brainstorming ways to live more sustainable
and creative lives. There's a lot of momentum
and innovation around those themes-and
a
sense that people are working hard at it:'
Lovers benefits from the fact that its three
members cite extremely disparate musical in~
fluences. 'Tm a huge Dylan fan;' gushes Berk.
''And Ijust love the songwriter poets of our time
like Leonard Cohen, Michael Stipe, Gillian
Welch, Sinead O'Connor, Patti Smith, Kanye
West, The Indigo Girls,JeffMangum, Conor
Oberst and Paul Simon:' A varied group, to
say the least. Berk also cites queer writers
like Allen Ginsberg and James Baldwin as
favorites as well as the young filmmaker Xavier
Dolan who she describes as "a queer genius:'
For Kingan's part she says, "When I first
started playing music in the mid~'90s, I was
very inspired by other Northwestern female
and queer bands such as Team Dresch, Bikini
Kill, Heavens to Betsy and The Third Sex.
Their music was accessible [but] powerful
and it mirrored my own experience in the
world:' Ferris also cites Team Dresch as an
influence as well as singer~songwriters like
Ani DiFranco and Tracy Chapman. But
at the same time, she gives props to disco
pioneers like Larry Levan, Arthur Russell
and Sylvester, the late, openly gay singer who
scored hits like "You Make Me Feel Mighty
Real" and"Dance (Disco Heat):' Ferris muses,
"I guess the consistent themes throughout
my musical life are relentless gayness and
relentless innovation. They just sound so
good together!" (loversarelovers.com)■
Going down memory lane with Le Tigre's Who Took The Bomp.
WhenI pickedup LeTigre'sself-titledalbum
on a whimbackin 1999-becauseI likedthe
cut-and-paste
stylecover-I hadno ideawhat
a revelatoryexperience
the recordwouldplay
in myfresh-out-of-high-school
life.Backin
thoseheadypre-9/11dayswhentheAmerican
culturalparadigmhadyetto fully shifttoward
the consumerist,
conservative
andcivil liberty
crushingBushyears,the oncestrongriot grrrl
movement
wasbarelyhangingon by a thread
as mainstream
feminismwasactivelybeing
co-optedbythe SpiceGirls'empty"girl power"
message.
LeTigre,frontedby riot grrrl royalty
KathleenHanna-who hasa uniquegift for
beltingout irreverentpoppytracksinfusedwith
overtlyqueerandfeministmessages-managed
to keepthe rebellionalivewith relatablesongs
instilledwith unflinchingpoliticalmessages
whichwere,quiteliterally,musicto myears.
Rounding
outthe bandwasbassistJohanna
Fatemanandthe alluringlyandrogynous
keyboardist
JDSamson.
Andwhilethe group
wenton indefinitehiatusin 2007,the legacy
continuesthroughtheir musicandnowwith
theirnewdocumentary
WhoTooktheBomp.
Filmedin 2004,asthe bandtouredin supportof theiralbumThisIsland,WhoTookThe
Bompoffersa rarepeekbehindthe curtain
for oneof the mostimportantfeminist,queer
bandsin musichistory.Madeup of a collection
of liveperformance
footageandbackstage
hijinks,it's a hilariousandeye-opening
glimpseat the whip-smartandincrediblyfunny
mindsbehindthe music.
Whatstandsouttodayis howunapologeticallyfrontandcentertheir politicswere-even
whentheygainedworldwideattentionthey
refusedto compromise
theirprinciples.
This
is evidentin an incidentthatoccurslatein the
docin whichthe bandmustdecidebetweenan
opportunity
for greaterexposure
andstickingto
theirpoliticalgunswhena women'smagazine
refusesto includethe world"lesbian"on a promotional
flyerfor a plannedeventwiththeband,
thusexposing
someunexpected
homophobia.
Ultimately,
theypassonthepromotion.
Alsofeaturedis LeTigre'sperformance
artlikestageshow-a flurryof sequins,brightly
coloredlycraandchoreographed
dances.
What'sclearis the powerthistrio hadon
stage,matchingthe politicallychargedlyrics
andslideshows
with irreverent,
relatableantics
that engagedandempowered
the audience.
Thedocservesas an excellentreminderof
whenfeminismandDIVprincipleswerevital
andpalpablein the zeitgeist.Funny,brilliant
andsubversive,
WhoTooktheBompis guaranteedto getyourfeministdanderup andmake
youachefor a reuniontour.Inthe meantime,
youcanmakedo by puttingthis DVDon
repeatandsharingit with all yourgirlfriends
(andbabydykes)whomayhavemissedthis
essentialqueerfeministbandin theirheyday.
(oscilloscope.net)
[RachelShatto]
September 2011
I 73
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
The Dark Arts
Nine must-see horror films for lesbians By Rachel Shatto
While dramas and psychological thrillers like
The Kids Are All Right and Black Swan garner all
the headlines ( and awards) for their daring
lesbian plots, it's the often underrated horror
genre that's most deserving of a second look.
Thanks to its innately subversive nature, the
genre has been lesbian inclusive almost from
inception. It's gone from the Sapphically suggestive Dracula'sDaughter (1936) and implied
lesbianism in The Haunting (1963) to the
none-too-subtle seductresses of Hammer's
lesbian vampire films of the '60s and '70s, to
present day films like High Tension, where
subtext becomes plot and lesbian characters
and actors have found a genre ready to embrace
and portray their queerness. So if in the past
you've given horror a pass, it's time to catch
up. Here are nine modern spooky gems that
no lesbian should miss.
1. Stakeland (DarkSkyFilms):In a post-apocalyptic world where vampires have decimated
the population, small pockets of humanity
cling together to fend off the ravages of vamps,
nature and vicious religious cults. Stake Land
74
I curve
stars Kelly McGillis as an ex-nun who joins a
rag tag group of vampire slayers making their
way north to the promise of safety. Beautifully
shot, acted and achingly atmospheric, this
film manages to terrify as well as take you on
an affecting emotional journey through the
cruel, unforgiving and deadly wasteland.
2. TheWard(ArcEntertainment):
Staring Amber
Heard, The Ward is the latest from master
of horror John Carpenter (Halloween, The
Thing). The film opens with Heard setting a
house ablaze and being forcibly committed
for her trouble. She's trapped with a group
of unpredictable patients, cruel orderlies and
worse: a ghost on who is hell bent on killing
off the ward's inhabitants. It's an effective little
ghost story with a compelling central mystery.
But it's a solid performance from the always
sexy Heard that earns it a spot on our list.
3. HighTension
(LionsGate):Sick, relentless and
powerfully effective, this French import is not
for the faint of heart or weak of stomach. It
follows a lesbian tracking down the intruder
who broke in and brutally murdered her best
friend's family and made off with her bestie
(also the object of her affection). While it's
caught some flack for a twist at the end,
it remains a tightly-wound, ruthless, gorehound's delight.
4. Trick 'r Treat(WarnerHomeVideo):This
anthology with intersecting plotlines is in the
tradition of the fantastic horror anthologies of
the '80s. Starring out bisexual Anna Paquin,
the film follows divergent stories that take
place on Halloween night. Complete with
tales of classic monsters, serial killers and local
urban legends, the film also introduces one
z
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of the best horror villains since the '80s in
Sam, a childlike mask~wearing demon who
punishes through tricks and treats.
5. TheHunger(WarnerHomeVideo):This
modern classic, is a contemporary interpre~
tation of the lesbian vampire trope dating as
far back as 1872 with the novella Carmilla.
In this case, the role of the vampiric seduct~
ress is played by the divine Catherine
Deneuve, and her female victim/lover is
Susan Sarandon (sporting a super~dykey
short do). A perfect blend of'60s Hammer~
style horror and '80s New Wave. Haunting,
melancholy and infinitely re~watchable.
6. All the Boyslove Mandylane (Optimum
Horror aficionados first
HomeReleasing):
met the then~closeted Amber Heard in
this artfully~made slasher. A group of teens
head off to a remote farmhouse for a week~
end of partying and hanky panky only to
find they are not alone-someone
with a
murderous agenda has followed them. This
beautifully shot, convention~busting film is
elevated above the standard teen slasher
fare by its gritty and dreamlike delivery.
7.Jennifer's
Body(20th
Century
Fox):Written
by
Academy
Award~winner
Diablo
Cody,
[jJ'
~ helmed by Girl Fight director Karyn
<{
~ Kusama and starring bisexual bombshell
i§ Megan Fox, there is a lot to sink your teeth
ir:
~ into with this high school monster flick.
c'.3 Playing on themes of horizontal hostility
~ and latent lesbian tendencies, it's Heathers
I
~ meets Night of the Demons punctuated with
g- clever, cheeky dialog. Plus, the much~pub~
[ licized makeout between Fox and Amanda
~ Seyfried is worth the price of admission.
r±
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I
8. Grace(AnchorBay):How far will you go
to protect the one you lover A car accident
w
I
~ leaves the pregnant Madeline widowed
:3 and her unborn child dead. But in what
~ seems to be a miracle, Grace is born alive
(.)
175and healthy-but with an inhuman hunger.
~ Subplots include breast milk fetishists
ffi and a lesbian love story. This take on the
0
~ zombie baby theme is an emotional tour de
I
~ force that will stay with you long after the
~ credits of this indie shocker roll.
(.)
(f)
1-
z
9. Sick Girl (AnchorBay): This short film
from Showtime's Masters of Horror series is
perhaps the most straightforward example
of horror for lesbians. Lonely, shy lesbian
entomologist Ida Teeter (Angela Bettis) has
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j J'(
;
-:-.
finally found the girl of her dreams until a
parasitic insect's bite begins influencing her
new girlfriend. Darkly comic and disarmingly
sweet, this gross~out gem is an absolute
must~see. ■
'i
TheFishChild
(WolfeVideo)
Fringe:TheComplete Battle:LosAngeles
ThirdSeason
{SonyPictures)
(WarnerHomeVideo)
Partromance,
part
crimethrillerand
AnnaTorvstarsas
partartfilm,this
F.B.I.
specialagent
Argentinean
import
OliviaDunhaminthis
followsthestoryof
smartsci-fithrillerfrom
LalaandAilin(played executive
producer
byInesEfronand
andLostcreatorJ.J.
Argentine
popstar
Abrams.Dunham
turnedactor,Mariela
isjoinedby morally
VitaleakaEmme,
ambiguous-andmore
respectively},
two girls thana littlemadfromdifferentendsof
scientistWalterBishop
theeconomic
spectrum andhisgeniusson
whoserelationship,
Peteroninvestigations
whenthreatened,
leads of crimesonthefringe
to a shockingcrime.
of science.Plusit coWeaving
in themesof
starsoutlesbianJasika
mythology,
socialdisNicoleasspecialagent
parityandsexualabuse AstridFarnsworth.
The
TheFishChildis a
thirdseason
focuses
rivetingandmelancholy primarily
onthegrowing
taleaboutthestrength warbetweenparallel
of lovejuxtaposed
with universes
in which
thecrueltyof the real
duplicates
of thecast
world,culminating
in
withvariedagendas
a violentfinalethatis
engagein covert
bothdevastating
and
experiments
and
unforgettable.
Thefilm espionage.
That'snotto
garnered
9 Argentinean saythattheseriesis all
Academy
nominations, cold,hardscienceincludingonefor best
it hasa lot of heart;
film,andVitaletook
in fact,muchof the
homea statuefor her
pleasure
of theseries
powerhouse
perforis derivedfromthe
mance.If grittylesbian personal
dramasthat
romances
appealto
areonlymultipliedby
you,besureto seek
thevariousversionsof
thisoneout.
thecharacters.
Elektraluxx
{SonyPictures)
Priorto its release,
ElektraLuxxis a sequel
Battle:LosAngeles
to the 2009ensemble
wasbeinghailedasthe dramedyWomen
in
BlackHawkDownof
Trouble,
whichfollowed
alieninvasion
films-a
a groupof women,
grittyemotional
tourde eachfacingunique
whoselives
forcethathumanizes struggles,
whileit simultaneously intersectin unexpected
displaysthe horrorsof
ways.Whilethefirst
war.Well,BlackHawk film dealtwithturmoil,
Downit is not.It lacks thesequelcomesfull
boththe realismand
circlewithtalesof
emotional
punchof that closure-andeven
warclassic.Whatit is,
a coupleof happy
however,
is a machismo endings.Backis the
soaked,moderately
pregnant,
nowretired,
clichedbutultimately pornstarturned
funsci-fiaction-filled sexologist
ElektraLuxx
escape.Plus,youcan
(CarlaGugino},
who
alwayscountonusto
is continuing
hersoul
enjoyanyopportunity searching
in thefaceof
to watchMichelle
unexpected
motherRodriguez
handingout hood.Alsobackare
alienbuttkickings.
callgirls/BFFs
Holly
Whileyoumayhaveto (Adrianne
Palicki)and
dodgea few glaringplot Bambi(Emmanuelle
Chriqui)
whoembark
holesalongtheway,if
you'vegota tastefor
ona surprisingly
adrenaline-fueled
sci-fi charminglesbianlove
withplentyof unique
story.Whilenotas
andhighlyaggressive strongas its predeintergalactic
action
cessorElektraLuxx
(andaren'tputoff by
is a silly,campyand
pro-militarymessages satisfyingconclusion
akinto recruitment
for thetitularwomen
introuble.Andkeep
advertisements},
give
thisflick a try,youmay aneyeoutfor cameos
besurprised.
froma few lezziefaves.
September 2011
I 75
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Gay Times
A novel look at the queer zeitgeist now. By Rachel Pepper
From lesbian motherhood to a
queer love triangle, two distinct
new books depict aspects of
LGBT life today.
TimesTwo:TwoWomenin love and
theHappyFamilyTheyMade,Kristen
Henderson
andSarahKateEllis(Free
Press): Since stories of lesbians
having babies are now almost commonplace, this couple decided to up
the ante and have two-at the same
time! Actually, Kristen Henderson,
bass guitarist for Antigone Rising,
and her partner Sarah Kate Ellis, vice
president of marketing for Real Simple
magazine, didn't purposefully try to
have "lesbian twins:• But after months of
fertility treatments, Sarah still wasn't pregnant, and by the time she had her final insemination, Kristen had already started trying.
They should have realized that they both
could potentially conceive at the same timethis has happened to other lesbian couples
before! But as any woman knows when fertility has proven elusive, just getting one person
pregnant can feel like an unlikely miracle.
So it was both incredibly amazing and truly
terrifying when Henderson and Ellis got the
news that they were both pregnant-in
the
same cycle. While their story could easily
have become sensationalized, what makes
it work are the alternating narrator voices,
and the fact that it is extremely funny. This
reviewer laughed aloud many times while reading Times Two, especially when the nauseated
and hormonal partners completely disagree
on how to approach their respective pregnancies-including
on oft-prickly subjects
like knowing the baby's gender, the merits
of natural childbirth and circumcision. Such
disagreements, how they resolve them, and
the occasional mishaps they encounter ( such
as Kristen going into labor on the day they've
scheduled for their wedding) actually make
for the most enjoyable moments in the book.
Times Two is charming and funny, but it's also
fairly mainstream, perfect for sharing with
76
I curve
straight allies and family members anxious
to understand lesbian baby making. But for
those hoping for a more cutting edge account
of LGBT parental activism or rock star radicalism, you'll need to look elsewhere, because
star hanging on to her
sanity by a thread, Amy,
self-assured trust fund hipster who's been dating Josh,
and Josh himself, a transman paramedic who acts as
the story's emotional anchor.
This is a queer love story,
involving several folks of various sexual orientations and
identities, all in their mid20s, treated empathetically
and matter-of-factly by the
author. There are no annoying,
shocking gender discoveries on
which to hinge the plot. Rather,
in creating her story, Whittall
treats it as a given that in urban
LGBT communities, sexuality is often fluid,
that there are dykes who date transmen and
that the transmasculine identity of Josh is
just part of his character's overall schema.
Besides getting the details right about Josh's
As any woman knows when fertility has proven
elusive, just getting one person pregnant can feel like
an unlikely miracle. So it was both incredibly amazing
and truly terrifying when Henderson and Ellis got the
news that they were both pregnant-in the same cycle.
these women are actually fairly traditional.
Still, as an interesting entry into the canon of
queer parenting tales, it's well worth a read.
(simonandschuster.biz/ free-press)
transition, Whittall obviously did a lot of
research on the complex and often fast-paced
working world of the paramedic, further
rendering him a believable, sympathetic young
working man. Thus, the story really becomes
HoldingStill For as long as Possible,Zoe just a modern tale of young adults coping
Whittall(Houseof Anansi):
This novel recently
as best they can while drinking, smoking,
won the Lambda Literary Award for best
texting and riding their bikes over streetcar
transgender fiction. Written by a Canadian
tracks in the rain. And as the triangular
cisgender author, Holding Still for as Long relationship between Amy, Billy and Josh
as Possible is part of an exciting new wave of becomes increasingly intertwined and complex,
books highlighting trans characters without
Whittall accelerates the pace, till a final crisis
making their gender the book's primary focus. puts their friendships, and their complicated
Set in Toronto, the novel is told by three
love for each other, to a challenging test.
well-developed characters: Billy, an ex-child
(anansi.ca) ■
Tech REVIEWS
A BrightIdea
Two designers are redefining solar chic. By Rachel Shatto
Who among us hasn't been frustrated by an
inconveniently drained mobile phone battery
6' or by the constant struggle to locate your
~ keys in a handbag that's turned labyrinthine
in the dark? Now there's an eco-friendly
m and oh-so-chic solution to both of these
~
§? common problems. Two ecologically and
~ fashion forward-thinking
design houses,
~ Silvr Lining and Diffus, are tackling these
6' issues by integrating solar power cells into
~
their designs.
f
sa:
::j
~
Pocketful
of Sunshine
a:: Ideal for tech savvy dykes on the go,
0
~
Silvr Lining's Go Collection features a variety
I
~
=, of stylish garments including a hip-length
<(
Director's Jacket, a chic top coat, plus, a
sporty hooded Utility Vest and cargo pants.
Handmade and individually cut and sewn,
all the items are made from Ultrasuede-a
plush, animal friendly, ultra-soft and lightweight fabric that is rugged, stain resistant
and easy to wash and dry. But what makes
this line so exceptional is its integration with
technology-each
piece features solar panels
that are powerful enough to charge personal
devices. These independently functioning
solar power supply panels are provided for
the front pockets of the Director's Jacket,
Utility Vest and Myer's Topper, and the side
pockets of the Cargo Pant. Talk about your
pocketful of sunshine. (silvrlining.com)
StylewithSol
This hot little shoulder bag is the perfect
marriage of style and tech. By integrating solar
cells into the embroidery, Diffus has created
a portable power station capable of charging
your mobile phone, or other personal device.
Plus, when in dark surroundings opening the
bag activates optical fibers which light up the
inside of the purse and allow you to find your
keys-which have likely disappeared into the
deepest darkest corner of your bag. Diffus has
been able to achieve this level of power output
and storage by miniaturizing what is currently
the most efficient solar cell material (mono crystalline silicon) into oversized sequins. Who
says technology can't be sexy:' (diffus.dk) ■
September 2011
I 77
REVIEWSFood
Eating In
Simple, nutritious meals from model turned cookbook author Jenice Armstead. By Rachel Shatto
Growing up, good food was not a priority in
Jenice Armstead's home. Fed on a steady diet
of fast food and snacks, nutrition was never a
factor. "Vegetables weren't introduced to me
at a young age. My family nickname is 'Junk'
for a reason. I ate cookies, cake, candy ... It's a
miracle that my teeth are still the way they
are;' jokes Armstead. In fact,
it wasn't until she was an
adult, fresh out of the mili~
tary, that Armstead began
to learn to cook. "When I
first started cooking I was
terrified. I would burn rice,
I would burn noodles, I
would burn hot water. I was
awful:' Today, things are
looking up in the kitchen
of the former military fit~
ness model turned Lesbians
Have to Eat, Too cookbook
author.
Besides being eye~catch~
ing, the book's cheeky title
carries a greater message
for Armstead. "It means
that we're regular people, we
eat regular food and we're concerned about
the same things everyone else is concerned
about:' Chief among Armstead's concerns
is eating healthily, which is why her book is
chock full of beginner~friendly recipes with
a focus on nutritious, low fat and tasty food
that can be adapted to any diet. ''A lot of my
recipes can be made to be meatless or vegan.
I'm not a big fan of bee£ When I found out
that it actually sits in a person's system for up
to 72 hours based on the amount they eat, it
made me a little ill:'
Along with cooking instructions, Armstead
shares stories about the significance of each
recipe in her life. From childhood memories
to the first holiday meal she shared with her
partner, Armstead chose to make Lesbians
Need to Eat, Too part cookbook, part memoir,
which proved challenging for the normally
private writer. "When it comes to sharing
personal stories about my childhood-that
was actually one of my biggest anxieties about
the book;' she says. Ultimately, she was able
to put aside her fears in the hope of better
reaching her audience. "I really wanted to be
able to have a conversation with the reader. I
wanted the reader to feel like they were sitting
down and talking to me over a glass or wine
or a cup of coffee, at the cafe or on their front
porch or in the kitchen:'
Armstead's need to be private stems from
her time spent closeted in the military. "It was
very hard. Me and my partner, that was
the main reason why I got out. I had the
Jaye's Puerto Rican Pernil
This recipe is near and dear to my heart. My partner and I have been together for some years now but there was a time in
our very new relationship when I would not cook, because of lack of self-confidence. For Thanksgiving I wanted to make a
great impression on her so I called my second dad and asked him to reveal his secret recipe. My partner loved the meal!
1 largepieceof porkshoulder
2 largeonions
3 largetablespoonsmincedgarlic
1 cupgrapefruitjuice
1 cuporangejuice
1 cupvinegar
2 tablespoons
seasalt
7 tablespoons
garlicpowder
7 tablespoons
onionpowder
7 tablespoons
oregano
1 largelemon
1 tablespoonparsley(optionalgarnish)
Start with porkshoulderin a medium
dish.Tenderizethe meatwith a small
steakknife.Makesmall nichesin the
meat,insert mincedgarlic.Addgrapefruit
juice,orangejuice andvinegarto the
dish andon top of the meat.Addall other
ingredientsto dishand marinateovernight
in the refrigerator.Thefollowingday,preheatthe ovento 250degrees.Coverwith
aluminumfolderandcookfor 3-4 hours.
Removecoverand let brownfor 30-40
minuteslonger.Serves6-8.
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78
I curve
opportunity to go into an officer's program but
I couldn't do it and be closeted. There was no
way I was going to do it because my partner
is my support mechanism:' Both Armstead
and her partner were in the military but,
despite thier best attempts to be discreet,
they soon found themselves under constant
scrutiny. "We went through a lot of harassment. I promised myself when I got out of the
military I would be as out as possible:'
It was following her honorable discharge
and a short stint working at the FDIC that
Armstead began working on Lesbians Have
to Eat, Too. "I was unemployed and wanted
to be positive about my free time and keep it
really functional, and cooking was my outlet.
My partner suggested that I write some of
my recipes down. It was originally going to be
something for mysel£ like a scrapbook:' Once
completed, Armstead, with the encouragement
of her long-time partner, began shopping
the book around but ultimately opted to
self-publish. "It was an issue of curve that
motivated me, actually. The issue about selfpublished women. I made a vision board and
taped that article to it:'
Never one to sit still for long, Armstead is
already planning her next cookbook in addition to working on her budding photography
business, Simply Beautiful by J.■
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September 2011
I 79
STARS
Fun, Flirty Fall Autumn brings a wealth of romance and opportunities.
By Charlene Lichtenstein
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Love is for sale this September. So if you see a gaudy
little trinket that you simply must possess, expect to
pay for it. But it's also time for heightened sexuality
and a lot of zesty pizzazz in any intimate relationship.
The ecstatic sparks fly and you soar to cloud 9. OK,
some things are evidently worth the cost.
Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
You can charm anyone you want this September-and
you do. This may cause some jealousy in weaker or
shaky relationships but not among those who truly
love and support you. Before the month is over, you
will have a very clear view of who you want to be with
and who you need to drop.
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
SapphicVirgosare
consideredsomewhatcareful
with their money... make
that thrifty... OK,they can be
downrightcheap!Earthsigns
in generalare considered
practicaland conservative
with their dough,but unlike
generousTaurusand
strategicCapricorn,the
lambdaVirgodoesn'thave
the confidenceto spreadher
wad aroundor take great
risks with her seemingly
small sack of loot.Always
concernedaboutbeinga
burdenon othersin her old
age,she carefullycollectsher
penniesthroughouther life
so as to build herselfa soft
cushionfor her later years.
Sometimesit's a couchand
sometimesit's a throw pillow,
but it's all hersso handsoff.
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Turn up your intuitive powers and see if you can
predict the future this September. I bet you can. But
even with your special insight, there will be some sur~
prises afoot, especially at work. Concentrate and plan
carefully before you launch into any new project. Of
course, you can always delegate the most boring stuff
and take a nice long lunch.
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Put a little zip in your doodah this September. You
have ample sex appeal and manage to find the right
crowd to appeal to. But your lusty pursuits may cost
more than you think. Keep an eye open to see if you
can find a well~endowed benefactress to help fluff your
pillow. Bathtubs of champagne don't come cheap and
neither should you.
Aries(March21-April20)
If you yearn for independence, you may just get it this
September. Lovergrrls could demand more attention
than you are prepared to give. Or you may have itchy
feet and a wandering eye. Expect surprises no matter
what. Relationships may hit a rough patch but I hear
that lambda Rams sometimes like it rough.
Taurus(April21-May 21)
Secrets around the workplace could get you into trouble
if mishandled but they could also help you solidify
your reputation in the office hierarchy. Strive to be
more than a worker ant. Sapphic Bulls love a little
intrigue, especially when it involves certain co~workers.
Unleash your manipulative skills carefully so you can
easily jockey into a comfortable position.
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
Girlfriends find ways to distract you and get you into
loads of trouble. But not only are you up for a little
excitement, you may even be the instigator. Board the
party train and see who grabs onto your caboose. The
more the merrier ... until the glare of the morning light.
Will she give you cab fare after breakfast or just drop
you off at the bus stop?
Gemini(May22-June21)
Life is one big funfest this September and why not?
You have pounds of personality plus and a proud posse
to prowl with. Don't wait for the invitations to flow
(even though they will). Get started early in the month
planning as many festive events as your dance card will
allow. There is romance behind every corner.
Capricorn(Dec.23-Jan. 20)
Those in power look at you and like what they see.
And why not? You are hard working, ambitious yet
deferential, strategic and deserving of promotion and
praise. In fact, you spend so much time and energy at
work that it may place a strain on certain love relation~
ships. Remember: Balance is everything.
Cancer(June22-July 23)
While you may prefer to stay close to home base
this September, the fates have other plans for you.
Professional obligations take center stage and you are
forced to deal with people in positions of authority
and power. But you will handle them expertly. In fact,
you will have them eating out of your hand.
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Nothing seems more exciting or fulfilling than to spread
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is
theauthorofHerscopes: your wings and explore new terrains this September.
A Guideto Astrology Aqueerians have an urge to get out of town. But don't
for Lesbians
(Simon& be surprised if most of your excitement comes from a
lovely next~door neighbor who comes by to borrow a
Schuster)
(tinyurl.com/HerScopes).
Nowavailableasan ebook. cup of sugar. Fill her cup and then lick her bowl.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Give your thoughts and ideas the full range to roam.
Proud Lionesses have quite a few pertinent things
on their mind and they are not editing themselves
this September. Now is the time to draw a line in the
sand with you~know~who. Maybe this is a good thing.
Diplomacy be damned. ■
so I curve
curve
the best-selling
lesbian
magazine
presents
Flawles
tickets and more info at:
WWW. THETIEPARTY.COM
HRIDGESTOnE
Your Journey, Our Passion
Sure, it's just
a tire.
Like the Grand Canyon is just a big crack.
I.IRIDGESTOnE
GHUPTOS
on an AmericanExpress®
RewardCard*by mailwhenyoubuya set of foureligibletBridgestone
tires.
Offervalid September1through October1,2011.Forcompletedetailsor the nearestBridgestoneretailer,call 1-877-TIRE
USA.
*OffergoodintheU.S.only.Mail-inclaimformrequired.
Cardcanbeusedvirtuallyanywhere
American
Express®
Cardsarewelcome
intheU.S.(notforonline
purchases);
notredeemable
forcash.Cardissued
inthenamesubmitted
ontherebate
form;cannotbeissued
to minorsandis nottransferable.
UseofCard
constitutes
acknowledgment
thatit is givenasa Reward
Cardandnoconsideration,
valueormoney
hasbeenpaidbytheholderin exchange
forthisCard.
Cardvalidfor 6 months.Remaining
balancesubjectto monthly
feeof $2.00beginning
in 7th month(except
whereprohibited
by law).Termsand
conditions
apply;seeamericanexpress.com/reward
for details.©2011American
Express
TravelRelated
Services
Company,
Inc.tForeligible
tires,seeyourparticipating
Bridgestone
retailer.Eligibletiresmustbe purchased
froma participating
Bridgestone
retailer's
inventory
between
September
1 andOctober
1, 2011.Certainrestrictions
andlimitationsapply.Offerexcludes
Costcopurchases.
Seeyourparticipating
Bridgestone
retaileror bridgestonetire.com
for complete
details.
tiresafety.com
bridgestonetire.com
See all items with this value
-
desti~t~s~ry
lesbian travelers
Features
42
SEPTEMBER
2011
Hair Apparent
1V's lesbian super stylist Tabatha Coffey
lets loose on being out and reclaiming
the word "bitch." By Merryn Johns
30
He Got Game
FTM transgender athlete Kye Allums
has gone from outsider to inspiration.
By Lyndsey D'Arcangelo
32
'
Action Woman
Rock and roller Melissa Ferrick is back
with a brilliant new album and tour.
By Janelle Sorenson
36
Time Bandits
Steampunk couture for the queer girl
who likes to dress up with a vintage
and fantasy edge.
48
Cape of Good Hope
It's wedding fever for one glamorous South
African couple tying the knot in Cape Town.
TravelSpecial
This month we celebrate globe-trotting
lesbians. From Miami to Brazil to Iceland,
meet the gay girls helping to make the
world your oyster.
54
Getting Over Her On Oahu
There's nothing like Hawaii for curing
a little heartache. By Gillian Kendall
60
Ice, Ice Baby
An all-women tour to the Canadian
Arctic in search of the elusive polar bear.
By Amy Lame
63
co
~
Croatian Heartland
w
a:
A journey home unearths luxe living
and some historical gems, including
a lesbian wedding. By Amy Deneson
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Life's a Beach
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Fort Lauderdale welcomes the sun-seeking
Sapphic traveler. By Merryn Johns
"'
~
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70
(/)
Adventurous Accommodation
0
Want to see the globe on a budget?
Consider the wonderful world of
house swapping. By Stephanie Schroeder
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WITHBEING
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PROTEST
.COM•::•
EBK9advantix®II
®
K9ADVANTIX
nONLY.
1sFOR
USE
ONDOGS
sA¢eR
~
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Animal Health
©2011 Bayer HealthCare LLC,Animal Health Division, Shawnee Mission, KS 6620 l. Bayer, the Bayer Cross and
K9 Advantix are registered trademarks of Bayer. Frontline is a registered trademark of Merial.
Kl 1422
Departments
SEPTEMBER
2011
IN EVERY ISSUE
8
10
11
12
19
22
24
80
13
18
Editor's Letter
20
Celebrity Gossip
Ladies, behave! Well, it wouldn't be
Lesbofile without a few hot messes.
Letters
Contributors
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
26
Out in Front
Scene
Lipstick & Dipstick
Relationships
Author and educator Rachel Simmons
examines the intimacy between girls and how
understanding it can help prevent bullying.
28
Politics
Travel isn't just about going on vacation.
Stars
By Victoria A. Brownworth
-.
Curvatures
A lesbian couple collects gay stories
around the globe; celesbians tweet
for joy over marriage equality and
the Rundown looks at last month's
highs and lows
72
74
76
77
Laugh Track
78
Comic Vickie Shaw dishes on
the ins and outs of lesbian travel.
. .
Music: We love the lesbian band, Lovers.
Film: Must-see Sapphic slasher films.
Books: The best books about us now.
~
Tech: Solar-powered fashion that keeps
w
~
0
you connected.
Food: A lesbian cookbook author shares
her family recipes.
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41
curve
SHIIT
&SWEET
BAHAMAS
CRUISE
Jebruary
/
17-20, 2012
* * * *
·*
--ALISOc1u,sE
may 18-20, 2012
* * * * *
-.
SWEET
-
MEIITiRRANEA
- ·CRUISE
july 1-~, 2012
* * * * *
S\1Et:T
EASTERN
-·
- CARIBBEAN
CRUIS!
ROtJember 8-10, 2012
-
EN'L:EST
CA.LL
87'7
N"O'VI"'!
793
3830.
1scovrn
swf
H.COM
CSf#2091755-40
Our Top 15 Horror Films for Lesbians
If there's one category of film that gets a bum wrap it's the
horror film. But this subversive genre has never shied away
from the Sapphic side of cinema. So, our resident horror
aficionado, Rachel Shatto, offers up 15 lesbian-inclusive
scary gems on curvemag.com.
Be Sweet to Homeless Animals
If you love lesbians and animals and combining both while on
vacation, then a Sweet cruise or resort stay is in order. Read
Kristin Flickinger's account of do-good getaways, complete
with beach cleaning and puppy care-giving on curvemag.com.
Calling All Queers: Tell Your
Story in a New Anthology
Curve contributing writer Lyndsey
D'Arcangelo is looking for writers to
contribute to her upcoming anthology,
My Story is Out: The High School Years.
This collection of personal real-life stories
is about surviving high school as an LGBT
teen and coming out on the other side. Find out how you
can share your unique story at curvemag.com.
The Curve Cast
Co-hosted by curve editors Rachel Shatto and
Jillian Eugenios, The Curve Cast covers what's hot
in lesbian news, lesbian gossip and entertainment.
It also features exclusive interviews with fascinating
and fabulous celesbians, as well as highlighting up
and coming queer musicians. Download episodes
at curvemag.com.
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CONGRATULATIONS
I
Way to go New York! Here's to equality ever after.
CaliforniaandArgentineTableWine,©2011BarefootCellars,Modesto,CA.All rightsreserved.
EDITOR'S
NOTE
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
For
LESBIAN
MAGAZINE
me, rhere is nothing like trading in the grind of daily
life and its tedious little problems-paying
bills, planning
meals-for the thrill of hitting the open road, taking off into
the skies or across the sea, landing somewhere so foreign that
you become the person you really are, not the person you think
you should be: a responsible creature of habit.
Lesbians are considered to be an elusive "travel
market segment;' and perhaps this is because we
tend to travel as women first and lesbians second.
But if you are the kind of lesbian who prefers to
vacation with your own kind, I raise my pin.a co,
lada to you-the niche market of lesbian travel
needs to be supported, especially for those worn,
en who don't have the luxury of lesbian company
in their home state. But there is also a wide world
of travel beyond that.
Each issue we share stories from adventure,
seeking lesbian travel writers who wish to pass on
their expertise to you, whether they've taken an
all,lesbian cruise or trekked across the Arctic in
an all,women group in search of polar bears and
the aurora borealis. But when it comes down to
booking a trip beyond the gay,girl ghetto, as,
sistance is hard to find. Many lesbians plan their own itineraries,
piecing together information from online and guide books.
Unless your trip coincides with a lesbian festival, you cross
your fingers, hoping everything will work out.
In an industry that's all about being serviced, where's our
share of the attention:' Who do you turn to when you want
advice on how to travel:' I consult the latest edition of Gina
Gattas Damron Womens Traveller,with its 10,000 international
listings and events for lesbians. But it's a rapidly changing world,
and no destination remains the same year,to,year. Which
destinations are safe for lesbians to travel to today:' Which desti,
nations do you most want to visit:' What kind of experiences do
you desire and who would you like to share them with:'
This is our annual travel issue and these are some of the
questions I would love to have curve readers answer so that
we can raise the visibility of lesbian travel. With the help of the
International Gay and Lesbian Travel Association, we have
created a travel survey that will help industry professionals
understand what you want and need from your vacation, and
how they can enrich your travel options and experiences. If you
answer the survey on curvemag.com, you could be off to South
Beach for a romantic three,night resort stay. Good luck, and
bonnes vacances.
It's a
Girl's
World
41/4.
SEPTEMBER
2011
I VOLUME 21 NUMBER 7
Publisher Silke Bader
Founding Publisher Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Merryn Johns
Managing Editor Rachel Shatto
Associate Editor Jillian Eugenios
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Contributing Editors Victoria A. Brownworth, Gina Daggett,
Sheryl Kay, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
PUBLISHING
Associate Publisher Diana L. Berry
Director of Operations Laura McConnell
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Jamie Anderson, Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin,
Bree Clarke, Lyndsey D' Arcangel 0, Beren deMotier, Lauren Marie
Fleming, Lisa Gunther, Tania Hammidi, Kathi lsserman, Melany
Joy Beck, Gillian Kendall, Georgia Krokus, Kate Lacey, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Ariel MessmanRucker, Alison Peters, Heather Robinson, Laurie K. Schenden,
Lori Selke, Janelle Sorenson, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Yana
Tallon-Hicks, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Erica Beckman, Brie Childers, Meagan Cignoli, Cheryl Craig,
JD Disalvatore, Tony Donaldson, Sophia Hantzes, Cheryl Mazak,
Maggie Parker, Constance Parten, Elisa Shebaro, Leslie Van
Stelten, Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams, Misty Winter
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ADVISOR~
With you when
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<,Cf,,
Domestic partners have unique investment planning needs and challenges. You've worked hard to create a life
and build wealth together, now you want to make sure your treasured nest egg will always be there for each other.
We understand what you are facing - and we want to be a part of your success.
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designation have been trained and certified on key
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LETTERS
From Curve's
Facebook Wall
East Coast Correction
I LoveLoveLoveyourmagazine
:)
Can'twaituntilI getmynextissue
-Eleanor Manuel
I have been a faithful reader of curve since it
first came out. Your article"Jersey Girls" [Vol.
21#5] about the bar Key West in Asbury
Park, N.J. was slightly inaccurate. The Owl
was not the first women's gay bar here. The
first and largest was a bar called the M&K
on Cookman Ave. It was owned by a woman
called Check. Please don't get me wrong. Kay
and her friends had a wonderful bar. Kay is
an ordained minister and has performed tons
of weddings and a lot of us she married are
still together and married legally now.
-Erin, Brick, NJ.
I wassoexcited
to openmymailbox
andseek.d.langonthecover!!
Thank
you!Keepupthegoodwork!
-Kate Colson
I • reading
Lipstick
& Dipstick
-Terri LaddMcMahel
Justfinished
reading
theJuly/August
2011issueandwantedto say...
thanks
... youkeepmeconnected
to all
thingslesbian
insuchanentertaining
wayandyoumakemeproud!:)Keep
rockin'it girls!-ChereeRuff
Lovin' the Dolphin Lady
Independent Spirit Awarded
I am a subscriber to the wonderful magazine
that is curve. I have noticed that there have
been some features or mentions of independent lesbian artists. This makes me very
happy. I think we see a lot of the same celesbians being plastered over everything geared
toward the lesbian community. It's just nice
to see some fresh faces in the arts. I thought
I would share a favorite independent lesbian
artist of my own. Jaclyn Falk is an artist with
true independent spirit.
-Tracie Ward, Stony Point, N.Y.
Poll
How much of a role does local
LGBT rights play in your choice
of vacation destination?
37%
Somewhat,I do take it into
consideration
29%
A little, I leantoward
LGBT-friendlycountries
27%
7%
None,it doesn't play any role
Totally,I onlygowhere
thereis equalityfor all
According
to a curvemag.com
poll
,o I curve
Thanks for featuring Nai'a Rae Fox in "This
Is What a Lesbian Looks Like" [Vol. 21#5]
She is a good friend of mine and she's the one
who turned me on to curve in the first place.
I probably wouldn't be as out and proud as I
am today if it wasn't for her.
-Sunny Blackstone,Saskatchewan, Canada
NewCurvemagcameinthemail
yesterday
... LOVE
thecover
...
k.d.langis HOTandamazing.
-Michelle TPadula
I can'twaitto getmynext
Victoria
subscription!-Alex
Rainbow Welcome
It was with extreme interest that I read your
review of Jodi Picoult's new bestselling book,
Sing You Home [Vol. 21#3]. How thoroughly
Jodi researches in order to have her stories
to accurately portray the lives her characters
represent was never more evident than when
she chose to include the Highlands Inn as
the honeymoon destination for her main
characters Vanessa and Zoe. It has led to
more folks finding the Inn and even more
women from all over the country are coming
to New Hampshire for the opportunity to
join in legal marriage. It seemed we had an
opportunity, perhaps even a responsibility
to try to give back. When I asked Jodi if she
would be willing to come to the Inn to do
a fundraiser to support the continuation of
marriage equality she immediately said yes.
It is a great partnership and will give some
great attention to the issue of maintaining
marriage equality in New Hampshire.
-Grace Newman, Highlands Inn, N.H.
SEND LETTERSTO: curve
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Indecent Identification
As a former editor of the magazine, I was
really distressed by the trans definitions
sidebar in the June issue [Vol. 21#5]. Ashley
Love's definition of "transgender" was so off
base it was alarming. People who identify
with their sex at birth are"cisgender" not"transgender:' I don't know a single transgender
person who identifies with their sex at birth.
-Diane Anderson-Minshall, Los Angeles
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CONTRIBUTORS
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Writer AmyDenesonset out for Croatia last summer to
either trace her roots in the land of her ancestors or get
a spectacular, five~star tan-she did both. "In this photo;'
Amy explains, 'Tm reading about how Perusic, the small
farming village where my great~grandfather was born,
celebrated same~sex unions-in
the 1700s!" Read about
her Eastern European adventure on page 65. Currently
writing a travel memoir recounting her familial dis~
coveries and luxurious dalliances across her Croatian
heartland, Amy's writing has appeared in Salon.com,
The Huffington Post, New York Press, Velvetpark and
Syd Londonholds a deep reverence for the potential
power of the photographic image. Her passion is telling
stories of subcultures that are often ignored, misunder~
stood or shunned by society. She strives to communicate
the visceral moments of what is ultimately a shared human
experience. Currently, Syd is based in Brooklyn, N.Y.
working as a freelance assignment photographer and
photojournalist while building her own projects and docu~
mentaries. Installations of her work have been seen in
Rome, Italy and New York City. This month she shares
her images of the 19th Annual Dyke March on page 22.
Hemispheres. (amydeneson.com)
(sydlondon.com)
GillianKendallis officially homeless after spending the last
decade living in Australia and crossing the Pacific more
than 40 times. Usually in an economy~class seat, she
learned to break up the long flights with layovers in Fiji,
Auckland and often Oahu-which
she writes about on
page 58. "Once I discovered the North Shore;' she says,
"it was like getting to another Hawaiian island without
taking another flight. Now I just have to figure out a way
to live there:' Editor of Something to Declare:Good Lesbian
Travel Writing, her travel narrative, Mr. Dings Chicken
Feet,was a New York Times notable book of the year, and
her business cards say "Writer & adventurer for hire:'
"When I was told our mode of transport to reach the
remote Dymond Lake Lodge was a Turbo Beaver, I just
cracked up!" says AmyLame,who went in search of polar
bears in the Canadian Arctic (page 62). "I wasn't expecting
such an appropriate name for a women~only adventure
vacation. It was exciting to explore the Arctic with such a
great group of women:' Amy's travel assignments have taken
her diving in the Caribbean, golfing in Scotland, cooking in
Tuscany, tall ship sailing in the Canary Islands and eating
her way across Malaysia. A New Jersey native, she has lived
in London for nearly 20 years; she co~presents an after~
noon radio show on BBC London and writes for a variety
of newspapers and magazines. (amylame.com)■
(gilliankendall.net)
September 2011
I 11
In Search of the Supergays
Three years ago, on their fifth date, Jenni Chang
asked Lisa Dazols, "What if we quit our jobs and
traveled around the worldt The idea had been in
Chang's mind since she traveled through southeast
Asia after college and met a couple who were hon~
eymooning until they ran out of money. "That idea
of just traveling for a long time all over the place
with the person you're spending the rest of your
life with was really cool and that's what started this
idea;' Chang says. "The whole project came about
a little later:'
The project is called Out and Around: Stories
From a Not~so~Straight Journey. Chang and
Dazols are on a yearlong 40,000 mile trip through
17 countries including Australia, Cambodia, Peru
and Tanzania. They are in search of the Supergays:
people in the community doing inspiring work.
"We decided it would be really cool if we met
different queer people around the world;' says
Chang. "Lisa is an HIV social worker and sees a
lot of sad cases about gay people so we wanted to
focus on the positive side. We wanted to find people
who were doing cool things and would inspire
others. People who are gay and extraordinary:'
The couple began the project by interviewing
people in their hometown of San Francisco:
Kate Kendell, the executive director of the
National Center for Lesbian Rights; the plaintiffs
for California's marriage equality case; and San
Francisco mayoral candidate Bevan Dufty.
The gay community has been especially sup~
portive of the project and Out and Around has
given the couple a sense of the global community:
Chang says that their research made them feel like
they have a big, extended gay family all over the
world. They have plans to take their footage of
the journey and turn it into an educational docu~
mentary and use the trip to teach people about the
international gay community. Out and Around is
poised to become a platform from which to build
awareness about the global struggle for equality.
Since the blog launched the girls have heard
from many people around the world, like a military
gay guy in New Zealand, a queer college student
from Puget Sound, a trans woman in Australia,
and many others. Countless people have extended
their support, travel tips and invitations for visits.
Where are the girls now? Can you think of a
Supergay somewhere in the world they just have to
meet? They take nominations! Keep up with them
and support their journey at outandaround.com.
[JillianEugenics]
LORDOFTHERINGS
NewYork'sownLGBT
jewelrydesigner,
Rony
Tennenbaum,
hasbeen
inundatedwith requestsfor
engagement
andwedding
ringssincethe passageof
the MarriageEqualityAct
intoNewYorkStatelaw.
Thepoliticaltriumphis also
personalfor Tennenbaum,
whois planningto wed
his partnerof 18 years.
"WhenI setoutto design
my lineof bridalringsfor
menandwomenof the
LGBTcommunity,Marriage
Equalitylawsfor N.Y.
Statewerejust in talks.I
dreamedthat 'someday'
it wouldhappen,andthen
suddenlythat longjourney
of anticipation
endedafter
severaldaysof beingglued
to myTVandTwitter,"says
Tennenbaum.
A jewelerfor
over25 years,histimeless
designsexpressthe notion
of eternalcommitment,
whichcertainlyreflectthe
ongoingdreams,dedication
andcommitment
of the
activists,allies,community
leadersandcoupleswho
havetraveledsucha long
wayto seeprogressfinally
happen.(ronytennenbaum.
com)[MerrynJohns]
September 2011
I 13
"Aye!! San Fran Pride! Stonewall
Anniversary! Marriage Equality
in New York!! The beginning of
a GREAT FUCKING WEEKEND!!"
-Sajdah Golde
'
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"I'm thrilled about the news
from NY. Marriage equality!
Every day we get a little closer.
What an amazing feeling."
- Ellen DeGeneres
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"HOLY SHIT!!!!! I'm getting married now!!!!!" -DJ Tracy Young
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"OK, pictures of
rainbow Empire State
Building are getting me
misty." -Diablo Cody
"HAPPY GAY
MARRIAGE
HOOKERS!!!!!!
HOLYSHIT!!!!!!!!!! ... I
don't think the magnitude of what has
happened, has hit me
yet." -Jenny Shimizu
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"NEW YORK!!! Congratulations
on
legalizing gay marriage! Looking
forward to California following
suit." -Tracy Ryerson
"Congrats to all who worked
so hard in NYS for marriage
equality! Homos for Cuomo!"
-Kate Clinton
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"let's hear it for new york
new york! a great state that
stepped up to the plate for
gay marriage. tasteful chic
a ring from tiffany's? yes."
-Sandra Bernhard
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"tonight we're all New
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let's all celebrate marriage
equality. The right side of
history!" -Kathy Griffin
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"Holding the hand of my fiancee
[Lauren Blitzer] as New York
State gains Marriage Equality."
-Chely Wright
CURVATURES
the rundown
After news spread about the kidnapping of Amina
Abdallah
Aralal Omari,a young Syrian lesbian and
author of the blog"A GayGirlin
Damascus;'
it was revealed that
she was the fictional creation of a
man. TomMacMaster,
a 40~year~
old American living in Scotland
has taken responsibility
for the fictitious blog saying he
never expected to receive this
much attention. LGBT activists
in Syriablasted MacMaster saying
his hoax put them in danger and
undermined their work .. .JudgeDanielR.Moeserof
Wisconsin
has ruled to uphold the Wisconsin domestic
partner registry, which was signed into law in 2009,
as constitutional. The limited protections included
in the law allow for hospital visitation, family leave
and imheritance ...
International spoken
word artist and
accomplished writer
CherylB (Cheryl
Burke) died of
complications from
chemotherapy treat~
ment for Hodgkin's
Lymphoma. Her
career began in the early '90s at the Nuyorican
Poets
Cafein N.Y.C. and she went on to produce numerous
literary events and receive an honorable mention
in poetry from the Astraea Writers Fund Awards ...
Reverend
AmyDelong,a Methodist pastor and out
lesbian in Kaukauna, Wisc., is facing a church trial.
She is being tried for performing a
same~sex ceremony at her church,
and for her own sexuality.
Punishment could include loss
of ordination or suspension and
will be determined by a jury
of clergy from the Wisconsin
Conference ... Courtney
Mitchell
and SarahWeltonof Colorado became the first lesbian
couple to marry publicly in Nepal.The ceremony took
place at Dakshinkali Temple, a Hindu shrine on the
outskirts of Kathmandu.
The Supreme Court of Nepal
legalized same~sex marriage in 2007, and the country
hopes to become the Asian hub for LGBT tourism.
Mitchell and Welton's ceremony was organized by
Society,
the leading LGBT advocacy
the BlueDiamond
organization in Nepal, and PinkMountain
Travels,
the
country's first LGBT travel agency. [Sassafras
Lowrey]
Travel Bits
Two great products to help you breathe easy when you travel.
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20, dyketees.com)
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HONORARY
LIFETIME
LESBIAN
MEMBERSHIP
LAUGH
TRACK
Texas Hold 'Em
Vickie Shaw talks tech, travel and whether or not to pack your vibrator when you go abroad.
By Merryn Johns.
The former real estate agent and full time
comic Vickie Shaw is on the road most week~
ends, traveling from her home in Houston to
gigs around the country and abroad. A die~
hard femme ("We got our big hair and our
bright colors and glitter. Can't have too much
glitter"), Shaw was Southern Baptist~raised
and mines her life for comedic gems which
she delivers in her husky Southern drawl.
She would never get rid of her accent (she's
been described as "white trash that won't
burn'') and revels in other people's differences,
gathering stories from the people she meets:
Take the 70~year~old lesbian whose vibrator~
induced orgasm coincided with a stroke. So,
if you find yourself chatting to Vickie Shaw,
y'all, be careful what you share otherwise you
may just be her next hilarious anecdote. She's
far from politically correct ("I hate my dogs,
I'm just waiting for them to die ... ") but ask
her about Tracy Morgan's anti~gay outburst
and she will take a stand: "Mean and angry is
not funny. Offensive is not funny. I am com~
pletely aghast at what he did:'
I messaged
youon Facebook
but it tookyoua
whileto respond.
I get on my computer and I try and get that
going but I just glass over. I got an iPad, that
was lovely. I've got a two~year~old grand~
daughter and she came up and said, "I play
iPad!" and I just handed it to her. She turned
it on, unlocked it, found her apps ... I sort of
went, "Can you get grandma a plane ticketr I
need help!"
Whatisthebestthingaboutbeingontheroad?
I love meeting people. I love seeing old friends
from an Olivia cruise ... ! love knowing peo~
pie's stories: Who they are, where they came
from, that's my favorite thing. The travel part's
yuck.
Especially
thepatdowns.
Oh, I enjoy them. Makes me feel good. My
partner and I have been together 12 years so
a nice pat down is always fun.
You'redoingOlivia'sWesternCaribbean
cruise.
18
I curve
It's fun for me because I really get a chance
to meet people, I get to see my friends,
other entertainers like Julie Goldman, she
just makes me laugh all the time. We get the
chance to giggle and be silly.
Howdoyouentertain1,300lesbians?
I always like to talk about the trip and what's
gone on that week because believe me, some~
thing ridiculous has always gone on. Comedy
is a live beast. Sometimes I never know what's
going to come out.
Doyoupacksextoyswhenyoutravel?
Yes I do. One time I was going somewhere
for a show and had packed my sex toy and I
had to get my luggage at baggage claim. My
suitcase was coming down the carousel and
all of a sudden I could hear it. It had turned
on and the battery was running and the suit~
case was shaking ...! had to open it up to turn
it off!
If a customsofficialaskedyou what it was
wouldyoutellthem?
Yes-as long as I didn't think they were going
to take it away from me.
Whatisthevalueof exclusive
lesbiantravel?
We have come far, but we have a long way to
go. There are a lot of women that can't be out
at home. Then they come on these trips and
for the first time, and only for a week, they
can hold their partner's hand and be romantic
and kiss them when they want to and have
fun and be on vacation-and
they can laugh
about being lesbian. It's very empowering.
(vickieshaw.com)■
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OUTINFRONT
Digging Deeper
Two lesbians fighting for the rights of the voiceless.
By Sheryl Kay
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On the Front Lines
As the director of operations for the Center
of Excellence in Health Disparities and
Primary Care at the United Medical Center
in Washington, D.C., KhadijahA. Tribbleis
helping to create a world-class comprehensive treatment program at the epicenter of
the HIV epidemic in D.C. And her work is
making a difference.
By building relationships with the National
Institutes of Health to allow trained specialists and experts in the field of HIV to provide
direct clinical support to those individuals often
labeled "hard to reach" and "hard to serve;'
Tribble and her teammates are bringing them
the best in prevention, treatment and care.
''Already, we've done what others have said
for years couldn't be done in a blighted, almost
forgotten part of the city;' she says.
Tribble first became attached to the HIV
cause as a college student when she volunteered an hour of her time to the Names
Project, the world-renowned organization
responsible for the AIDS quilt. At the time,
she recalls, she made no connection between
HIV and homosexuality-she
only knew
that people were dying of an obscure disease
And then came the day when she held the
quilt in her hands. Although she didn't know
anyone who had died of AIDS, somehow
each name on the quilt signified a unique and
precious life to her.
"John, Terrv, Arthur, Lil Johnnie, Carriethose were real people, not just numbers of
people infected and not just numbers of people dying;' says Tribble. "It really shook me to
my core:•
,,
Tribble understands that sometimes it's
hard to be vocal and take a stand. Yet at the
same time, she says, holding one's ground can
make all the difference.
"I believe that our silence can't protect us
and that those things that are important to
us must be spoken and made verbal, even if
there's a chance of it being misunderstood
and devalued;' she says. "We must speak and
speak often:'
Legal Eagle
When AlexiaKoritzgraduated from Columbia
University, she immediately entered the world
of finance, working in private equity for an
investment bank. She toiled alongside her
coworkers, looking forward to the prized two
weeks of vacation, but unlike those heading
for cruises and the ski slopes, Koritz spent her
free time at legal conferences.
"Not exactly typical banker activity;' she
says. "But I realized I had the chance to
make my life's passion, LGBT rights, my life's
work:'
So Koritz headed off to Yale, where she
is now finishing her law degree. Noting the
possibility that many states will soon face gay
marriage and adoption challenges, Koritz says
the need for attorneys to litigate on behalf of
the community will grow exponentially.
To prepare for her new profession, Koritz
has taken on several major initiatives at Yale.
As policy director for the Iraqi Refugee
Assistance Project, she's focused on the needs
of LGBT refugees, who are uniquely vulnerable since homosexuality is criminalized
throughout much of the Middle East. And
she's worked on several high-profile cases
The need for attorneys
to litigateon behalfof
the communitywill
grow exponentially.
with the ACLU, most notably the "Don't
Filter Me" initiative, a joint-venture between
the ACLU and Yale's LGBT Rights Clinic to
combat the highly unconstitutional yet very
prevalent practice of filtering out LGBT
content from school computers while permitting access to anti- LGBT sites that advocate
for "reparative therapy:'
"Not only did every school we contacted
back down, but as a result of our efforts, one
of the major providers of web filtration software dropped LGBT filtration altogether
from its systems;' says Koritz.
It's disappointing that some younger people
don't appreciate the struggle and sacrifices of
the generations that came before, says Koritz,
but not all of them are as tuned-out as they
might appear.
"While we still have a long way to go, and
the LGBT rights movement needs all the help
it can get, I don't think you necessarily need to
march in a parade or stage a protest or become
a civil rights litigator to help the cause;' she
says. "The cumulative effect of young people
living their lives openly, contributing money
to organizations like the ACLU and voting
for progressive politicians is very powerful:' ■
September 2011
I 19
LESBOFILE
Lesbian Exits This month is all about the hasbiansand maybians.
By Jocelyn Voo
A RoyalAffair
They say every girl fantasizes about becoming
rags,to,riches
a princess, so KateMiddleton's
fairy tale wedding to PrinceWilliamwas ooh'd,
and,ahh'd over by many a dreamer. Especially
lesbian dreamers. Because Kate Middleton's
first kiss was reportedly with a girl.
At 14, Middleton was a never,been,kissed
student at a post,prep school. According to
Star magazine, Middleton became close to
fellow student Jessica Hay-so close, in fact,
that before a school dance, the two had a few
drinks and then ( surprise, surprise) a kiss
ensued."Our eyes locked and we started full,on
kissing, with each of us pretending the other
was a boy;' Hay told Star.
The kiss was a mixture of hormones, alcohol
and general affection, Hay says. But hey-we
choose to fantasize differently.
SheLovesUs,SheLovesUsNot
No beating around the bush on this one:
On the Australian radio show The Kyle and
Jackie O Show, notorious lady lover Lindsay
Lohanproclaimed that she's still open to
dating boys.
"Boys wanna know if they still have a
chance ... have we still got a chancer" the host
asked. Without wafRing, Lohan replied, "Yes:'
Guess we shouldn't be surprised, but still
we're not quite ready to give her back to the
hets full time, yet.
20
I curve
WhatHappenson Stage,Stayson Stage
Think back to the infamous BritneySpearsMadonnasmooch on television after the
MTV Music Awards. Now fast forward a
couple of years to 2011, when pretty much
the same thing happened at the Billboard
Awards, except it was between Spears and
"S&M" singer Rihanna.
Oh-and also no one
ever got to see it.
While the kiss definitely happened, ABC
never aired it (or at least the bulk of it-there
was some post,smooch pull,away shown,
insinuating some sort of kissing). So maybe
it's only appropriate that ABC's lips are sealed
on the censorship. Still, it's not like we
haven't gotten more than our share of
straight,girl kissing publicity stunts
(Miley Cyrus, we're looking at you), so
maybe it's all for the best.
ChooseYourWordsWisely
Let's just state the obvious: Megan
Foxis a super,hot, possibly lesbi,
an,baiting serial foot,in,mouth
offender.
The first Traniformers film
pretty much launched her
career. However, following
the sequel, in an inter,
view Fox foolishly bit the
Hollywood hand that fed
her, telling British mag Wonderland that
director Michael Bay"wants to be like Hitler
on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to
work for:' When Transformers executive pro,
ducer Steven Spielberg caught wind of the
culturally insensitive comment he told Bay,
"Fire her right now:' And Bay did. Boom.
OneForthe Team
Glee has been praised for its LGBT equality,
advancing storylines-indeed,
the wildly
popular show is a two,time GLAAD Award
winner. But TV character trajectories are
notoriously fickle. Some might've thought that
with Kurt being the token gay character,
there was no way recently outed Santana
(played by the lovely NayaRivera)would
actually, well, stay a lesbian.
Guess again. "The thing we're not
going to do is something I would
feel is disingenuous-San,
z
tana being like, Oh, I'm ~
~
going to try sleeping ~
with boys again;' ~
Glee creator Ryan ~
Murphy told TV Line. i"§
cc
Does this mean more ~
Santana and Brittany ghookups2 Never say never, ~
w
Murphy replies. This is one ~
~
" show worth keeping on the vs
DVRlist. ■
Q
She Said
September
2011 121
SCENE
22
I curve
Dykes in the City
Syd London captures the historic
19th Annual Dyke March in New York City.
On Saturday June 25, the 19th Annual Dyke March
kicked off at 42nd Street and Bryant Park, New York
City. The theme was In Dykes We Trust. Emotions
ran high in the wake of the historic passage of law the
previous night, which enables gays and lesbians to
marry in the state. Approximately 15,000 women
attended, many celebrating, others still advocating
for national recognition of same~sex marriage,
"as we are still not able to gain all the privileges that
our straight contemporaries are eligible for;' explains
Dyke March organizer Blair Gershenson.
Unfortunately, law enforcement was "particularly
hostile this year;' according to Gershenson. "Police
did not allow us enough space on the street and
did not want us to march. We were questioned
whether we had a permit-we
do not, nor have
we ever applied for one as this is a protest march.
We stopped the march and waited to negotiate an
appropriate amount of space. Two officers assaulted
our marshals by grabbing and twisting their arms
while they blocked traffic. The marshals were brave
by continuing to marshal, block traffic and ensure the
safety of our marchers:'
Numerous celebrities have attended past marches,
from Kathleen Hanna of Le Tigre to the actor
and activist Cynthia Nixon, and this year musician
Regina Spektor took pictures with her lesbian fans
as they marched down Fifth Avenue to Washington
Square Park where the drummers continued to drum
and thousands of participants and spectators danced
and celebrated, with some even jumping naked into
■
the fountain. ( dykemarchnyc.org)
September 2011
I 23
Dream Lovers What to do when trying to choose between your heart and your future.
By Lipstick and Dipstick
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I'm a 19-year-old student who has two amazing opportunities in the palm of my
hand, right there for the taking. First, I've been flirting with this friend of mine, Carmen, forever-since
school-but
high
she never seemed to take me seriously, so we never got together. Second, I've had a dream
about attending a college that has a great department for the kind of work I want to go into. Up until now,
I thought both Carmen and the school of my dreams were out of reach, but things have changed. Carmen
is now saying she wants to be with me, and I'm not about to question her change of heart. I'm just glad I
hung in there and my persistence paid off. This comes on the heels of the news that I'm probably going to
be accepted at this awesome school, which, unfortunately, is across the country. Because of that, I can't
imagine both life and love working out for me right now. I have to choose. My instincts tell me a longdistance relationship would involve a lot of pain and suffering and would ultimately result in heartbreak. I
know if I asked Carmen what I should do, she'd tell me to go away to school. Close friends tell me to follow my
heart, because they know how deeply I care for this girl and what a mess I'd be in the fall when I'd have to
leave. I've wanted both of these things for so long and I don't know what to do. So, the question remainsdream lover or dream school?-
Dreaming in Denver
Lipstick:
This one is simple. You must go away
to your dream school! Promise Lipstick right
now that you won't let this opportunity pass
you by. If you do, it will be a regret that will
haunt you for the rest of your life. Trust me
on this one. "If only" are two words that will
scratch at your mind every living second and
burn holes in the lining of your stomach.
Dipstick:I have to agree with Lipstick on
this one-but gosh, Lip, do you have to be
so morbid? As much as I'm a sucker for true
love and waiting for someone you really want,
I don't think giving up your dream school is
the kind of thing you put on hold for a girl.
Changing your weekend plans, skipping out
on Mother's Day, missing a night of sleepall might occasionally be OK for the sake of
a girl. But not college. I know you have strong
feelings for Carmen, but you don't even know
yet what it's like to be in a relationship with
her. It's so new that you aren't even talking
to her about this, the biggest dilemma you've
had in your young life. What if things fizzle
after six months? What if she cheats on
you? There you'll be, stuck at some local
24
I curve
community college studying cosmetology,
when your true calling was to be a congress~
woman. Long distance might be difficult, but
not as hard as a lifetime of regrets. Maybe
in a year Carmen will decide to join you at
Dream U. Maybe you'll meet another girl
in your political science class who will make
Carmen seem like a schoolgirl crush. Or
Carmen might still be waiting for you when
all's said and done. Degrees are for certain.
Girls are wily and unpredictable. Drop her
hand and reach for the brass diploma.
Lipstick:Nah, keep hold of her hand, but get
a telescopic arm and hold it from very far
away. Give it a shot with Carmen, believe it
can work and sign up for Skype.
Dear Lipstickand Dipstick:I'm 44, recently
divorcedanda newlysinglemomof two beautiful kids.I havea 15-year-olddaughteranda
10-year-oldsonwho havebeendevastated
by
the divorce.I am confidentthat I am a lesbian,
but I've beenin the closetall my life,pursuing
heterosexual
relationships
that have left me
feeling unfulfilledand empty. I would love
nothingmorethan to give a lesbianrelationshipa try andseeif whatI feelistrue.Butwhat
aboutmy children?Theyalreadyhavescars
fromthedivorcethatI'm afraidwill nevercompletelyheal.I thinkit wouldbeselfishof meto
pursueany relationship
that couldhavemore
negativeconsequences
for them.As a parent,
it is myjob to protectthem.However,
my own
desiresare like a voidthat desperately
needs
to be filled.If neitherof youhaskids,it might
be hardfor youto understand.
You'djustthink
I shouldbetrueto myself.Butit's notthateasy.
Any goodadvice?Eitherway, this hurtslike
hell.-Mama Dyke
Dipstick:So you're writing to us to get our
permission to be a martyr? Because if that's
what you choose to do, then I'll say a rosary
in your name. I may not have children, but I
have a mother, and I know too well the effects
that martyrdom can have on children. Yes, it
is your job to protect your children, but not
at the cost of your own happiness. Kids don't
want their parents to be miserable. What they
want is to feel listened to, included and loved.
They want to feel like they're special and like
Lipstick & Dipstick ADVICE
their mom cares about their needs. Why
jump to the conclusion that finding happiness
with another woman is going to somehow
devastate your children? Did you ever think
that they might embrace it with open arms?
Did you ever consider the impact your hap~
piness could have on your relationship with
them2 You'll be so much lighter and freer and
easier to be around. Maybe they, too, will fall
in love with your future partner. There are
many possibilities here, but if you only focus
on the negative ones you'll wind up with a
selUulfilling prophecy.
Lipstick:I may not have birthed babes, but I
do know a thing or two about this because my
partner-I'll
call her Mommy Queerest-is
a mother of three. She could have written
this email many years ago and she has this
advice to give you: First, she commends you
for being an awesome parent. What's more,
you really must follow your heart, while also
putting your kids first. And that's a delicate
balance. If you're not happy, they aren't either.
Give them honesty and good communication,
even if at first it appears to confuse or hurt
them. What's more damaging is to leave
them in the dark-a
very scary place for
kids. Then, get a good therapist to start loos~
ening the noose you've got tied around your
neck. That guilt is going to kill you. Lastly,
we need to warn you about the lesbians out
there. Do not let the first one you fall for
move in too quickly. Your heart may tell you
after two weeks that it is time to envelop her
into the family, but don't listen to it. Here, it
is paramount to put your kids first. Moving
in with someone prematurely can do more
collateral damage than coming out! Give it a
year, at least, and make sure that what you've
got with this woman is going to stick. The
last thing you want to do is drag your family
through lesbian drama.
love when I came out. I'd bet, however, if
they were sitting here, looking back in hind~
sight and being really honest, that they'd say
it took about a year for them to be totally
comfortable in their new parental skin. But
they never showed me an ounce of that.
Now that I'm older, it's easier to understand
how difficult it is for parents to learn their
child is gay, because, to them, it seems you
are going to have a harder life, facing more
challenges than life already throws at you.
Now, after many years of witnessing the
strength my coming out gave me-that
the
precious pain was more of a booster shot
than a poisonous antidote-my
folks wear
my queerness as a real badge of honor.
Dipstick:Unlike Lipstick's parents, my mom
freaked out when I came out to her. She was
pissed at me, at my girlfriend and at God.
She couldn't look me in the eye for months
and would change the topic any time I men~
tioned my girlfriend. But then one day, as
she was changing the sheets on my bed,
probably imagining all the dirty and nasty
things I was doing there, she says God spoke
to her. He said, "Just love her:' And since
that day, you know what? My mom has. I
think it's normal for parents to have a hard
Degreesare for
certain.Girlsare wily
and unpredictable.
time accepting a queer kid at first, but even~
tually most of them come around. Coming
out to our parents can be the scariest thing
many of us ever do. Make sure before you
tell them you've got a good support system
in place. You may not need it, but it's better
safe than sleeping on the street. ■
Tune in to curvemag.com/lipstickanddipstic
to watchthe The Lipstick& DipstickShow.
Or write to tv@lipstickdipstick.com.
Dear Lipstickand Dipstick:How did each of
your familiestake it when you came out? I
wantto knowbecauseI'm reallyscaredto tell
~ mine.-Huddlingin the Closet
a:
if
w
ffi Lipstick:My parents were textbook amazing.
~ They showed nothing but support and fierce
September 2011
I 25
ADVICE Relationships
Mean Girls Calling all bullies and their victims: A revised book sheds light on the dark
side of female intimacy. By Merryn Johns
I almost didn't call Rachel Simmons. I was
a little pissed that this straight educator had
written a book about bullying among girls and
never once mentioned the L~word. But the
topic was so enticing and, judging by the huge
response to the post on our Facebook page, so
vital, that I decided to go ahead and talk to
her. The first thing I wanted to ask Simmons
was why Odd Girl Out (uncannily bearing
the same title as Ann Bannon's milestone in
lesbian pulp fiction) had scarcely one refer~
ence to lesbianism since the book is entirely
devoted to the subject of aggression in girls
as the flipside of female intimacy.
"So you want to know why? Don't you
want to guess?" There was a strange tension
in her voice as we spoke on the phone-part
mischie£ part mean. It was as though we were
BFFs at recess, and she could tease me with
her interest in the new girl.
"Your publisher said no?" I suggested. "Too
controversial?"
"Oh, that would be so nice if that were
true;' Simmons taunted. "This one might be
hard. But it might be right in front of you ... "
As I wracked my brain for reasons why
this feisty Rhodes Scholar left out the entire
26
I curve
LGBT demographic, I sensed the answer.
"It's because I'm gay," she blurted out,
explaining that if she had focused on that
topic she would have appeared to have a gay
agenda. ''And this is the first time I'm ever
going on the record. When I heard that you
wanted to know why there were no gay people
in the book I thought, 'Yeah, it's time:"
Simmons is now on the record, even
though Odd Girl Out has had tremendous
mainstream appeal and she is touring in places
like Kansas and South Dakota, where the fact
that she's a lesbian could overshadow the other
issues she wishes to discuss. Her book has
exposed the crisis of bullying among girls and
she is considered to be an expert on the sub~
ject, someone parents can rely on for advice.
In addition to being an author and an edu~
cator, she is also the co~founder of the Girls
Leadership Institute and runs its summer
camp in Northampton, Mass., creating all the
leadership workshops. "Most of my work has
evolved out of these summers of living with
girls, listening to what they struggle with and
asking them questions;' she says.
While there might have been some con~
sternation in the past about finding a lesbian
at the helm of such a project, Simmons says
times have changed, noting that several of the
young women who come to work at the camp
are already out. "Over the last few years I've
had to realize that it's actually OK for them to
come out to the girls, if the girls are curious:'
Simmons, who went to a religious school
in a different time, has taken the long road to
being comfortable with her sexuality in public.
Consequently, when writing the first edition
of the book 10 years ago she "turned away"
from the topic of sexuality-gay, straight or
otherwise. So, while she doesn't confront
lesbianism in young girls head on in Odd Girl
Out, Simmons does focus on female intimacy
and the intensity of female~to~female friend~
ships. These relationships can foster many
forms of aggression, everything from subtle
forms of manipulation to outright bullying
and harassment. The relational patterns of
behavior described by preteen and adolescent
interview subjects, who attended 10 different
American schools, will be intensely familiar
to all girls, straight or gay. Most women,
she believes, have endured or participated
in behavior that needs apology and some
analysis-and providing analysis is what her
book does best. When she revised the book,
which now has four new chapters, Simmons
chose again not to dwell on sexuality, but to
focus on issues that compound bullyinglike Internet usage as social entertainmentand she offers advice to parents who are in
the dark about how their daughters and their
daughters' friends are behaving. But she is more
than happy to be out to curve readers and to
talk about female aggression in lesbian terms.
"Remember that so much of what distin~
guishes female aggression from other forms
of aggression is the intimacy that underpins
it;' she says. "The most painful memories that
women have are not at the hands of strangers;
they're at the hands of the people that they
really loved. I do think that if you are a young
lesbian just realizing that, and maybe you are
in love with your best friend, and maybe you
were in love with her at the time that she bul~
lied you, or you said that you loved her and
she bullied you because she was scared, then
~
0
~
o
~
~
a!
<3
in addition to the conventional homophobic
bullying we are told about, there's a lot of
untold stories which should be told, too:'
In Odd Girl Out, the friendship between
junior high school students Vanessa and Stacy,
for example, seems rife with sexual tension. It
degenerates into bullying, and the bullied girl
channels the pain she endures her into sexual
promiscuity later in life, which to this reader
suggested latent lesbianism gone awry.
Simmons believes that female stereotypes
represent society's homophobia writ large,
especially in the way that female aggression is
played down. "Ifyou were really to take seriously
how horrible girls can be to each other, then
you also have to take seriously how intimate
they are;' she argues. "This culture wants girls
to believe that the most important relationship
they should have is with a boy. Every song on
the radio they hear is about some boy, except
girls don't care about that. They're more worried
about why their best friend is not speaking to
them. Female closeness is invisible, and therefore female bullying is invisible, because they
are inextricably linked:'
With kids coming out younger, as early as 7
or 8 years of age, Simmons acknowledges that
bullying of queer and questioning kids could
become even worse. She recommends that
these kids find a mentor, someone older and
wiser, and also gay, to help prevent heartache
and dysfunction in the future.
Simmons also has advice for women now
looking back on a time when they were the
bullies. ''Apologies never expire. I apologized
10 years after the fact to the girl that I bullied
and it meant a lot to her. There is so much
erasing that goes on amongst girls so an apology
is a real act of resistance against that invisibility. When you apologize, you put a stake
in the ground and you say: This did happen.
And that means a lot:'
Simmons, who knew she was gay at 16, is
now determined to "tell other people about
the depths of the relationships between girls.
So much of my work is about trying to validate
the intimacy and the intensity that happens
between girls because that really forms the
Cl)
framework for so much of the aggression:'
~
Childhood aggressionmay begin with simple
~<( demands but evolves into something far more
~ complex."When you're 5 years old and you say,
:::;;
~ I won't be your friend if you don't give me your
potato chips, it's about using force to get what
you want. Third-, fourth- and fifth-grade girls
have very intimate best friendships and they
get very upset and possessive when one best
friend goes off with another. So they start to
try to control the best friend and say,You can't
play with her at recess, you have to play with
me. Yes, it's about anger but it's also about this
intense desire to be with that person all the
time. I say to parents that intimacy between
girls rivals the romantic interests that they
will later on develop, and it's not sexual most
of the time-but
there is an intensity to it
that's a lot like romance:'
Is it perhaps because women are so relational
and able to form intense bonds quickly that
so many lesbian stereotypes persist: Lesbians
move in together quickly; they move from
relationship to relationship; they convert their
exes to best friends. Simmons won't validate
any of these stereotypes, suggesting that similar behaviors exist for "the regular population;'
but she agrees that women go to great lengths
to nurture relationships, sometimes at great
cost to themselves. The idea that a girl will
endure the undercurrent of abuse that defines
bullying in friendships leads Simmons further
into a discussion of intimacy.
"There are elements of emotional abuse
that happen at very young ages between girls
that mirror what happens between adult partners in an intimate relationship. If you, as a
girl, were close to someone, maybe in love with
someone who mistreated you, but you loved
that person so much you're willing to put up
with anything because you are so crushed out
as a 12 year old or 16 year old-that leaves an
imprint on your definition of intimacy:'
Allowing oneself to bully or be manipulated by a female bully is a serious problem,
but one that is often hidden because of society's stereotypical view of the ideal woman as
submissive and mutable. But for Simmons,
young girls are a force of nature, able to make
and break their own rules.
"When I talk to girls about friendship I
talk about friend divorce, friend affairs and
they love it and they get it because they understand that it's that intense for them. Is there
a purpose to female aggression and bullying?
Yes: What are the limits of intimacy; what are
the rules of intimacy; what can I do to a best
friend; what can I ask of a best friend? Then
of course there's the aspect of power:'
Girl Power just took on a whole new
meaning. (rachelsimmons.com)■
WAYS TO END THE BULLYING
Rachel Simmons asked girls and women what they would have told
themselves when they were being bullied. This is their advice:
0 GETHELPTrynotto do
thisalone.Findsomeone
whocansupport
you.
Tellyourparents,
talkto
a teacherora friendyou
cantrust.Oneoftheworst
thingsaboutgettingbullied
isthatyoufeelsoalone.
LOSE
THEMIf youthink
beingpopular
isgoingto
makeyouhappy,
you're
wrong.If theothergirlsare
usingyouto makethemselvesfeelcooleryouare
putting
yourself
indanger
everyminuteyouspend
withthem.
@ GET
ITOUTWriteabout
yourfeelings
ina diary.
Writedownwho'sbeing
meanto youandwhatyour
solution
willbe.Don'tkeep
it inside.
f}
0 DOSOMETHING
Joina
team,takea workshop,
joinanonlinegroup,
find
a different
community
of people.
Don'tisolate
yourself.
0 REMEMBER,
ITWILLEND
Theworldmayfeellikeit's
endingbutit isn't.Oneday
youwon'thaveto goto
school
withthesepeople
anymore.
September 2011
I 27
POLITICS
Travel is a Feminist Issue
Vacationing can be dangerous and ethically complex for lesbians. By Victoria A. Brownworth
Who doesn't love to travel? Be it near or
preferably far, travel is one of those experiences that expands our collective horizons
and gives us a keen sense of not just another
lovely vista, but how other people live. The
cultural insights we gain through travel can
be life-altering. This is especially true for
those who want to see how other women
live in places outside our own purview or
comfort zone-that
is, outside the nonWestern world.
Although travel can be expansive and
broadening, as women and as lesbians we
can't take our out-queer American privilege
with us. As any seasoned travel writer notes,
true travel means experiencing a country the
way the locals do. Which for women can
2s
I curve
mean a demeaning or even dangerous embarkation.Travel can be complex, because being
female and queer may be fine if your destination is Amsterdam, Berlin or London, but
may be much more problematic in countries
where your gender defines all aspects of your
daily life-negatively.
It would seem obvious that any country in
which local women wear the burka, purdah or
chador would not be one in which it would
be easy to travel. But what many women
don't realize is that second-class status can
also mean first-class danger when they are
traveling without men.
Before the Arab spring took root, Egypt
was a prime travel destination for Westerners,
and probably it will be again soon. The lure
of Luxor and the enticing nature of the
great wonders-the
pyramids, the sphinx
and the other extant ruins-draw
thousands each year. But the sexual harassment
of female tourists on the streets of Cairo
and Alexandria was extreme long before the
harrowing incident in which journalist Lara
Logan was sexually assaulted while covering
the revolution in Tahrir Square.
Having one's breasts and genitals grabbed
was always a common occurrence, as was
sexual assault-and
often by more than one
man, just as Logan was assaulted. Taboos
against wearing "immodest" dress or leaving
one's head uncovered meant that a woman
in a short-sleeved shirt and shorts or a skirt
would be a sexual target.
And Egypt is far from the only country
in which such behavior is common. Travel
throughout the Middle East-including,
surprisingly, Israel-has long been problem~
atic for women traveling without men.
Yet while these places-along
with
Morocco, Kenya, South Africa and other
countries that enjoy a thriving tourist busi~
ness-might
seem obviously problematic
due to their volatile political climates, less
obvious would be places closer to home.
Jamaica is one of the top tourist destina~
tions for Americans, yet for lesbians it is one
of the most dangerous. According to tourist
advisories, the gorgeous Caribbean island
is deeply homophobic. Homosexuality is
illegal and queer bashing is so prevalent and
overt that a 2006 Time magazine article
declared Jamaica "The Most Homophobic
Place on Earth:' LGBT activists have been
beaten, raped and murdered in Jamaica. So
although it's close to the United States, and
it's inexpensive, it's also a tourist destination
to avoid.
Equally close, inexpensive, temptingand dangerous-is Mexico. As the drug wars
heat up among the various cartels, American
tourists are prime targets for kidnapping
and women are most vulnerable. While the
drug wars don't involve tourists per se, they
have begun to spill over into popular tour~
ist spots like Cancun, Acapulco, Guadalajara
and Mazatlan. Being American and on vaca~
tion is no protection. Women are not highly
regarded in Mexico, so it is of no special
concern to see woman being assaulted.
In June, the Thomson~ Reuters Foundation
released a survey delineating the countries
where it is most dangerous for women to
live. Few of us will be traveling to most of
them: Four of the top five are Afghanistan,
Congo, Pakistan and Somalia. In Congo, for
example, over 1,100 women are raped daily.
In Pakistan, women earn 82 percent less than
men, and more than 1,000 are murdered
each year in honor killings. In Afghanistan,
87 percent of the women are illiterate, and
one in 11 dies in childbirth. In Somalia, 95
percent of the girls will be genitally muti~
lated between the ages of 4 and 11.
These facts are harrowing but not sur~
prising. What is stunning is that the survey
rated India No. 5. The world's most popu~
lous democracy remains a popular tourist
endure in so many countries?
When we travel, we must consider our own
safety as lesbians, certainly. But shouldn't we
also consider the safety of the women and
girls in the countries we visitr As travelers,
we can't allow ourselves to be ignorant of
the daily realities of women just like us. If
Travelis meant to raiseour consciousness.
However,an essentialelementof being a
feministis that we understandwhat gender
means everywhere,not just at home or on
vacationin the developedworld.
destination for Westerners, but not a safe
place for women to live. According to the
survey, nearly half of the women in India are
married before they are 18. The UN notes
that India leads the world in sex~selection
abortion and in the sex trafficking of girls.
India is a common spot for sexual tourism.
Over 100 million girls are trafficked each
year. And more than 50 million girls are
"missing" -lost to sex~selection abortions.
A place where being female is so reviled is
not a safe place to travel.
What makes travel such a feminist issue is
not just that travel to certain places remains
dangerous for women, but that life itself
remains dangerous for women and girls in
the places we are merely visiting. A trip to
the Taj Mahal or to Mecca is great for the
travel diary-these
are, after all, two of the
world's pre~eminent travel spots. But who
looks beyond what our tourist eyes can seer
What about the girls sold into sex slavery
in Indiar What about the honor killings of
women in Pakistan-including
lesbians?
Our vacations are often about sex and
romance, but think about all those geni~
tally mutilated women in Somalia who will
never experience such a concept. Vacation is
also about indulging our appetites, but what
about the poverty that women are forced to
we lived in the lush, brutal beauty of Congo,
would we be among the 1,100 women raped
every dayr If we lived in Kabul, would we be
able to work, or go to school, or go outside
without being accompanied by a male rela~
tive and covered head~to~toe in a burkar
And what about the maids in our hotel
roomsr Where do they go after they clean
our sheets and towels and drink glasses?
What are their lives like outside the confines
of our luxury suites? How vital to their very
survival is that tip we leave on the dresser?
Travel is meant to raise our consciousness.
However, an essential element of being a
feminist is that we understand what gender
means everywhere, not just at home or on
vacation in the developed world. When we
travel, we have to think about where we are
and how we got there. Not just the specifics
of passports or traveler's checks, but the less
readily identifiable elements of our trip, like
the lives of the women in the places we visit.
Travel is a feminist issue. Next time you
plan a trip, think about not just where you
are going, but what you will take away when
you leave. Don't just bring home pictures of
your trip. Bring home a picture of what it is
like for women and girls in the place you just
left. And then think about what you can do
to make their lives better. ■
September 2011
I 29
As the only male player on the George Washington University
women's basketball team, you might think that Kye Allums
felt like an outsider. But he didn't."We always ended practice
the same way we began;' he says."Together in a circle:'
Born biologically female in 1989, the 5-foot-11-inch
guard from Minnesota started playing basketball at the age
of 7 and it was something he picked up naturally. "I have
always enjoyed playing basketball since I was little. I
didn't know any of the rules
or anything, I was just taller
than a lot of the other girls:'
He eventually became a
standout basketball player
in high school and a McDonald's All-American nominee in
2008. But after two years playing for the Colonials' women's
team, he decided to come out to his teammates because he
felt uncomfortable hiding who he really was-a man in a
woman's body.
Allums first became aware that his body didn't match his
gender at the age of 5. But it took years for him to finally
accept and embrace this fact. "I figured out who I was and
embraced it 100 percent;' he says.
At 19, he told his family. "[They were] very supportive.
They continued to love me the same as they had done my
whole life:' As for basketball, Allums felt he needed to come
out to his team because he had "a hard time focusing on the
game due to the constant use of female pronouns:'
His teammates, coaches and the university supported
his decision. However, in order to remain eligible for the
basketball team, Allums had to postpone transitioning until
after college because testosterone
is a banned substance according
Kye Allums is the first out to NCAA regulations."It [was]
FTM transgender to ever hard to put off something that I
play Division I basketball. want to do for me;' he explains.
"Because waking up every day
By Lyndsey D'Arcangelo
in the wrong body is the most
uncomfortable feeling, period:'
But the decision to keep playing women's basketball
despite being inherently male made perfect sense to
Allums. "It's simple-sex and gender are two different
things. Sex is your body and appearance, and gender is your
innate self identity. My sex is female, but my gender is male.
So, in reality, the only thing that is different about me than
another female is how I feel about my sex. I don't connect
with my body and appearance:'
The issue of sex, gender and women's sports isn't a new
one. Thanks to athletes like Allums, Caster Semenya
and Brittney Griner, it has become a hotly debated topic.
Semenya's sex and gender came into question because she
is uncannily fast "for a girl;' and has a masculine body and
build. The powers that be demanded that she "prove" her
30
I curve
gender. Eventually, it was found that Semenya possesses
both sex organs and a higher level of testosterone than
most females. As far as gender goes, she identifies as female.
But because she happened to be born intersex, others don't
necessarily give her that right.
Griner is an incredibly talented women's basketball
player with unbelievable height and athleticism "for a girl:'
Simply type in her name into a Google search, and you'll see
such interesting search phrases as: "Brittney Griner man;'
"Brittney Griner transgendered" and "Brittney Griner
lesbian:' Griner is none of the above-she's just a female
college athlete playing the game she loves. Yet, because of
the body and build she was born with, those assumptions
are made and her sex and gender come into question.
What Semenya, Griner and Allums help remind us of
is that gender goes much deeper than appearances. And
in order to keep up with the rest of society, the world of
female sports (and sports in general) must also evolve.
As the first out FTM (female-to-male) transgender
individual to ever play Division I basketball, Allums definitely navigated uncharted waters. But during the season,
opposing teams and players were very receptive and the
mainstream media even applauded his courage. "I didn't
care what the media would say;' he says. "The one thing that
did matter were the people who [feel] alone and trapped in
the same situation that I'm in:'
After a long and intense season, reoccurring injuries and
some careful consideration, Allums has ultimately decided
to give up playing basketball altogether."! alone came to this
conclusion;' he says. ''And I thank the Athletic Department
for respecting my wishes:'
Though he won't be returning to the hardwood anytime soon, Allums' story is one that will continue to echo
throughout the arena and beyond. "Whether you're an
athlete or not, stay true to who you are and how you feel
about yoursel£ Nobody can tell you how you feel; only you
can do that. Things get rough, but always have your goals
at the forefront of your mind, knowing that you are going
to make them happen no matter what it takes. And if you
ever feel alone just know you have a brother [at George
Washington University]:' ■
A new deal with MPress Records has also fueled
Ferrick's creativity. "I feel very supported emotionally and
musically;' she says. Coming from years of doing everything
independently, from recording to touring, the support of a
label that jives with Ferrick's personal ethos has lifted a
weight and allowed her more room to focus on the music.
Intending to tour with a full band this time around,
Ferrick is looking forward to hitting the road and hopes
to bring along female support. "It's really important
to support each other like that, as musicians and as
women. It's important to smash down the cat fighting.
Luckily, I don't see that in the groups I travel with. I
see support. The community around me and all over is
stellar;' says the singer who enjoys a passionately loyal
female fan base.
"There's this whole other world of artists who are doing
Kickstarter or touring and I don't see a discrepancy
between the men and women, which is a good thing for
me;' she says, adding,"It may sound cliche but I don't think
of my gender when I walk in a room or when I meet some~
body. I get a feel for people and it doesn't have anything to
do with gender or sexuality:'
It's for that reason that she enjoys playing festivals; the
chance to get out in front of a more diverse audience. "I
enjoy festivals because I get to play in front of men and
I don't draw that ticket as strongly when I'm on my own.
It feels so good to see men enjoying my music, to see that
there are men in the world who will hear a good song and
love you regardless of what you look like or your sexuality.
People who just know good music:•
There is absolutely no shortage of good music on Still
34
I curve
Right Here. From the beginning of the album, the sound is
noticeably larger-the
melody immediately captures the
listener and pulls them in for a lO~song ride that rejoices
in its peaks and tears at heartstrings in its more low~tempo
moments, like the tender "You Let Me Be:•Through the
entirety of the album, the feel is that of reuniting with a
friend; laughing, smiling, nodding and even crying along.
Ferrick describes the sound of the record as finally
having captured what fans hear when they go to a live
show. "Big acoustic guitar; in die; balls. I'm singing my ass
off!" she laughs, "There's no holding back-it's rock:'
StillRightHerealso marks another milestone, the artist's
40th birthday. As is typical with any milestone birthday,
life~reassessment comes with the territory. Having taken
the job teaching music at Berklee, she forced herself to get
out of her paradigm and with that, ended up infusing her
life with the inspiration she needed to get her thoughts
out of her head and onto paper. "I have to remember that
sometimes you just have to say yes. Instead of sitting
around and waiting and tearing everything down, you
have to just act;' she says. "Into action, into action. You
have to repeat that:'
In a life that is often uncertain, everyone can benefit
from a mantra like that. Ferrick's enthusiasm for this
album, her renewed passion and amped up creativity is
palpable. "The only thing you can count on is that it's going
to change;' she says, referring to life and its intricacies.
With an album that she considers her best work, a new
relationship with a supportive label, and a headlining tour
in the works, one thing is sure; Ferrick has finally let herself
■
just be good at what she's good at. (melissaferrick.com)
~
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When you subscribe to our interactive digital
edition you get curve in your inbox before it hits
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listen to songs, forward stories to friends and best
of all, no more recycling. Just download and save! _____
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Visualize yourself traveling time and space.
Imagine exploring the skies as an aviatrix,
surviving in a post-apocalyptic
battleground,
cross-dressing as a Civil War soldier or languistiing
_
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with the ladies in a 19th century salon. To fuel you."1r,:;ff1Ji!Jl1JJ:HJ1
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fantasies Steampunk Couture, a Portland, Ore.
(;,.
_:, design house creates hand-crafted Victorian, sci-fi
and shabby chic-inspired couture and accessories.
G·
From leather or lace to bodices and bloomers,
,queer girls can aad a little kick to their closets
with this arty apparel. (steampunkcouture.com)
Al
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NICE KNICKERS
~
These green lace harem - _ /
bloomers are sexy and comfy
at the same time. $39.99
·~vl.J)~
11
I\
)
SKY CAPTAIN
This one-of-a-kind outfit includes
corset, tank top, aviator cap, goggles,
shorts and thigh-highs. $499
LITTLE DRUMMER GIRL
This one-off custom-made
outfit includes jacket, pants,
spats, belts and gloves. $699
September 2011
I 39
DEMAND SATISFACTION
Persephone Pius's dueling earrings
are guaranteed to satisfy on every
front. Sassy and sexy, they're
the perfectly quirky baubles to
complete your nod to steampunk
style. ($22, etsy.com/shop/
GhonePlus)
TIMELESS TOP HAT
Nothing says steampunk like a bespoke top hat with
working clock. Custom-made from high quality wool,
this signature piece is as well-made as it is audacious.
($140, etsy.com/shop/starrlitwolfling)
Like \]ockw0rk
If you love the look, but going full steampunk seems
a bit extreme, infuse a little bit of fantasy and drama
into your everyday look with a unique accessory
or signature piece that captures the theatrics and
whimsy of this uber-chic style.
IN THE NECK OF TIME
Made from a genuine U.S.
military issue 100 percent
wool scarf and vintage East
German Army utility straps,
MIR's Apocalypse Cowl
is the perfect marriage of
comfort and style, sure to
keep you cozy whether
you're braving the winter
cold or off adventuring in
your airship. ($85, etsy.
com/shop/ShtrafBat)
CAPTIVATING CUFFS
Featuring antique
wristwatch movements,
circa the 1930s, these
elegant and sophisticated
cufflinks are embellished
with rubies, gold gears and
highly polished silver plates.
The perfect fit for even the
fussiest of steambutches.
($79, etsy.com/shop/
steampunknation)
JEWELS OF THE SEA
This gorgeous bejeweled
octopus hair clip is sure to make
an impression. Decorated with
pearls and other underwater
delights, it still manages to
remain lightweight enough to
stay in place without tugging at
your hair. ($30, etsy.com/shop/
SteampunkCouture)
OFF THE CUFF
Big, bold and badass, this one-of-a-kind eyecatcher is crafted by hand from a vintage Union
Co. pocket watch paired with a wide, textured faux
leather band. ($150, etsy.com/shop/kodashii88)
~
IN GEAR
Kick up your heels with these steamy
embellished boots. Made with vegan
suede, this hot footwear pairs gears
with scalloped edges on faux spatsperfectly embodying the steampunk
aesthetic of 19th century tech meets
Victorian. The result: modern and ohso-sexy. ($60, clockworkcouture.com)
40
I curve
0
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Seek out your summer fun with style.
ROOM TO MOVE
Prancing Leopard Organics have
created the Mentawai Yogi Surfer
Shorts in stretchy organic Turkish
long-fiber cotton jersey. The plush
fabric is perfect for yoga practice, a
run on the beach or simply relaxing.
Suitable for a wide range of body
types and available in matcheverything gray and slimming
charcoal. (prancing/eopard.com)
ART ATTACK
When hitting the beach or lazing
by the pool, butches and bois love
their boardshorts. But why buy
mass-produced surf wear when
you can custom design your own?
Forget those tired old Hibiscus
patterns-apply your personal style
and choose from a range of artistdesigned styles. Every pair of shorts
is printed with the artist name, image
title and edition number, along with
the option for a personal message.
(shortomatic.com)
GET POLITIQAL
Stacie Pierre-Louis was out on the
scene one night and noticed an
absence of casual clothes for boyish
and butch women. "So I went
about seeing how I could create
them, did some research and
embarked on a tailoring
course to get the items
made to the standard
that my customers
and I would
want."Two
years
later Politiqal
shorts was
born. Choose
from plaid, sky
blue or vermillion
linen Clam Digger
Shorts. (politiqal.com)
Photographer:
Rob Sheppard
Model: Daisy Rasaki
WeWood's all-wooden watch
line pairs modern design with
a natural, renewable materials
making for an eye-catching
study in complementary
contrasts. Featherlight and created with
no artificial or toxic
materials it's a boon to
eco-conscious fashonistas
with a taste for unique,
beautifully made accessories.
Even better than their sophisticated aesthetic is the Los
Angeles-based company's
commitment to the environment. Having partnered
with American Forests-the
nation's oldest non-profit
conservation organizationWeWood plants a tree for
every watch sold. So it's little
surprise that they are such
a hit with fashion-forward
dykes and celebs like Natasha
Beddingfield, Kesha and
Aubrey O'Day. (we-wood.us)
[RachelShatto]
September 2011
I 41
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42
I curve
Of course I was nervous about interviewing
the woman who has been called the Gordon
Ramsay of hair salons-especially
when her
only available time slot happened to conflict
with my own hair appointment (how ironic). I
was worried that if I asked her to reschedule,
there would be no other chance to talk to her.
So I decided to keep my hair appointment
and wait for her to call while I was in the
chair. I was halfway through highlights when
I told my colorist that I was waiting to hear
from Tabatha Coffey. She just about dropped
her bleach brush and stared at me like she'd
been struck by lightning.
"Tabatha!" she squealed. "I looooove
her! But she's such a bitch!" Then the other
shoe dropped: "I wish you told me earlier.
I would have done your color better." She
eyed the door nervously, as though Coffey,
that platinum blond bulldog, the queen of
mean, might burst into this modest salon and
announce in her no-nonsense Aussie accent,
"I'm Tabatha, and I'm taking over."
BYMERRYN
JOHNS
September 2011
I 43
ever has such a simple phrase struck so much
fear in the hearts of so many hairdressers-and
woe betide you, salon slackers: Coffey has no time for dirty floors,
dirty brushes or dirty looks. The honest Aussie will always
forgo politeness in the name of professionalism. With the
tone-and
looks-of a dominatrix, she tells it like it is,
exposing sloppy methods and exhorting others to pull
themselves up by their bootstraps if they expect to be a
success. In a culture where the fantasy of overnight stardom and the myth of American exceptionalism rule, she
is both reviled and adored. But just who is this peroxided
provocateur to be telling others how it's done? At least she
is no hypocrite-as revealed in her tell-all memoir, It's Not
Really About the Hair, she applies her exacting standards
to herself. The white lies and biographical revisionism
of many celebrities are not for her. She comes dean about
her humble beginnings in Adelaide, South Australia, as
the child of strip dub owners, her father an alcoholic.
"Honestly, it never was an option for me to make up
stories. First of all, I'm really proud I am Australian, even
though I don't live there. For me, writing the book and
telling everyone about my past, what I went through and
what my family did, it was a way of-I've had such an
overwhelming response of support from the people who
44
I curve
watch the show that I couldn't imagine not being honest
with everyone. I like to call it a memoir with life lessons.
I did all of that as a way of really sharing the path that I
took with my fans, in the hope that they'd learn from it
and feel better about their own situations and move on:'
For the greater good, she has also been honest about
her botched breast augmentation surgery, and matterof-fact about her sexuality. "I am who I am, for good or
bad. For me, talking about my sexuality is a part of who I
am. It's like saying, 'I have blue eyes: It's just a portion of
who Tabatha Coffey is. But talking about it can help some
young kid out there who's struggling with their sexuality,
and make them feel better about their coming out, which
is really important to me:•
Those who have been the target of her ruthless yet
oddly reasonable salon takeovers have called her every
name under the sun, from bitch to monster to unprintable expletive, yet her fans outnumber her critics. In a
world where slackerism, self-entitlement and smart-ass
attitudes are rife, her demand for professionalism, pride
and punctuality from employees, and often from business
owners themselves, is strangely satisfying to the home
viewer. When tough Tabatha turns her cold, catlike gaze
on her latest prey and extends her hand for the keys to a
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flailing business, we have a cathartic outlet for our own
longings to control our careers and consumer habits. As it
says in the title of her book, it's not really about the hair at
all.If we all expected as much from ourselves and others as
Tabatha Coffey does, the world would certainly
be a better place. But this attitude does not
exactly win friends. Coffey is reviled by the
very people who should look up to her and
has been called a bitch so many times that she's
found it necessary to reclaim the word as a
meaningful acronym (see pg. 47). She may
look like an ice queen, but the name-calling
has indeed hurt her.
"People didn't even know my name, they'd
just go, 'Oh my God, you're that bitch from
TV!' It was just so incredible to me, because
I never felt that I was being a bitch-I just
felt that I was standing up for what I believed
in. I can't say it didn't bother me or hurt me, because the
people who know me aren't calling me a bitch:' And these
people include a long-term partner who clearly stands by
her woman, even as she herself remains a mystery.
But the joke is on Coffey's critics, because the very
thing they loathe is the secret to her success. "I just found
it really fascinating, because I didn't have a problem with
standing up for myself and saying what was on my mind,
and that was the only word that people could come up
with:' She is convinced that if she were a man, it would
not be a word they'd use. "I think what I do, and what the
show does, is to show that it's OK to have standards. It's
OK to stand up for yoursel£ It's OK to say what's on your
mind. To me, the big difference between being honest and
being just a bitch is this: I don't say the things I say to
be hurtful. I say them because they're true. Especially in
the situations I walk into, helping salon owners, trying to
get their businesses back on track. It's no good for me to
sugarcoat it:' She even has a three-second rule: She counts
to three before speaking her mind, to make sure that she's
saying what she really means to say.
At Tabatha Coffey's core is a strong desire to be effective;
"PEOPLE
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she possesses a work ethic that has taken her around the
world and into a hit reality TV show. But it wasn't always
apparent that Coffey would find success. As a child, she
was lonely, overweight and she fell spectacularly short of
the local standards of conventional beauty. She would
have been the last person to imagine reaching for-and
grabbing-the
golden scissors.
"I just wanted to be the best hairdresser I could be. I'm
really lucky because I do a job that I truly love, and I've
been doing that for a long time ... I've always really enjoyed
sharing my passion and knowledge with other hairdressers.
This is just taking it another step further:'
Coffey relishes going to work each day, even when those
days include dealing with scurrilous salon employees who
provoke her-for
example, the Florida stylist who left
a dildo in a drawer for her to discover. "I was surprised,
mortified, pissed off' In case you were wondering, the sex
toy was not a plant.
The diabolical diva in her
younger, pre-glam years
September 2011
I 45
"One of the things I'm really proud of about the show
is that people don't know I'm coming to the salon, so it
truly is a surprise for them. When I walk into that salon
and take over, it's the first time I have seen that salon. We
don't plant anything. We fly by the seat of our pants. If I
had not opened that drawer, I might never have seen that
dildo. Who would even think about putting a fucking
dildo in a hairdressing salonr I was shocked. I was even
more shocked that he would hand it to clients who were
in bad moods and suggest they go to the bathroom and
come back happy. If anyone handed that dildo to me, I'd
slap them over the head with it:'
Talk about your full-service salon.
But in spite of her censorious views on customer service,
Coffey does not view herself as particularly Draconian, or
godlike. "I never profess to be right about everything.
I believe there is a way of doing things in any customerservice business that's pretty standard. You should hold
people accountable. You need to set people up for success.
But when it comes to the art of hairdressing, I know a lot.
It comes down to an artist's eye-you shouldn't mix certain
colors, there is a way to deal with things properly-and
sometimes people get up in arms about that. But I hope
that no one thinks I do know everything. I know a lot, and I
will show people what I know. That makes us individuals:'
Being an individual is really important to Coffey, who is
fascinated by the human urge to conform, or the expectation
that others conform, especially women and lesbians.
"People have said to me, 'Oh, you don't look like a lesbian:
I've yet to find the definition of what we're supposed to
46
I curve
look like. We all have our own style. I happen to like
short hair. To one person my hair is incredibly butch. To
another it's not butch:'
She would like to apply her transformative powers to
the stereotypical perception of lesbians. "I hope people
like me can help to change it. If someone can come up
to me and say, 'Huh, Tabatha's a lesbian? Who'd've thunk
itr' Maybe that can help change the perception that's out
there, including within our own community:'
Speaking of our own community, there is an insatiable
curiosity about the identity of the woman who gets into
bed with Tabatha Coffey every night. Coffey isn't saying,
and it's not out of shyness.
"I really cherish my home life. I'm in a long-term relationship, and my partner doesn't want the spotlight, and
I respect her for that. And if I've been filming or at the
salon all day, or at a book signing, I get to come home and
just be with her, without having all that pressure. I've been
incredibly open with all the people who support me, but
my home life is mine:'
In lieu of a cozy chat about her partner, she has a
message to share with curve readers. "The one thing I
would like to say is thank you for the support. It's been
really great to have lesbians on my side, and I know that
may sound trite but it doesn't always happen that way. The
support has meant a lot to me:'
It means a little something to us, too, that -as a woman
and as a lesbian-this iconic and ambitious powerhouse is
showing the world how strength and style can go hand in
hand. ( tabathacojfey.com)■
B: Brave
I: Intelligent
T: Tenacious
C: Creative
H: Honest
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September 2011
I 47
K
elly Huber loved her local juice bar so much
that she approached one of its owners, Megan
Hussey, to ask about buying into the business.
After months of negotiating (and an apprentice~
ship of sorts) they signed a deal and Huber invested in the
growing business. But it wasn't all business: during a share~
so I curve
holders meeting Huber and Hussey felt butterflies-and
their nerves weren't about the investment, but rather their
mutual attraction to each other. Soon, they were hooking
up (undercover, as Hussey had a long~term boyfriend).
"We were both scared about a relationship;' reveals
Huber. "We were now business partners, with a lot of
money invested, and we were both nervous about going
the girl~girl route:' Nevertheless, they decided to give
their new and passionate attachment a chance, com~
mitting 100 percent to a relationship with one another.
They haven't looked back since.
On a trip to the Seychelles, it was the newly lesbian
Hussey who proposed to Huber. "Little did I know Megs
had bought a ring and asked my dad and step dad whether
she could marry me;' says Huber. "Her plan was to pick
the perfect setting on a beach or yacht but the anxiety was
killing her so she popped the question at the business class
lounge at the airport!"
They married in February 2011 at Cafe Roux in Cape
Town where they had enjoyed many romantic dates.
Wedding planner Kirsty Marmarellis from Gay Unity
Abroad assisted the couple in planning their dream
wedding, which was attended by 144 guests. The venue
was transformed with a Bedouin tent and vintage chic
While the brides had kept their
choice of gowns a secret from each
other, as a sign of their destined
unity it turned out they matched.
decor with long banquet tables, fresh flowers, crystal
hurricane lanterns and silver candelabra. On a lawn
strewn with petals was a gazebo where the couple took
their vows, and while the brides had kept their choice of
gowns a secret from each other, as a sign of their destined
unity, it turned out they matched.
"Our wedding was the most amazing day of my life;'
says Huber. "Maybe it was because we were two girls, two
brides whose dads both walked us down the aisle, but the
amazing energy, the positivity and the love just flowed.
It was like the love we have for each other and the love
we share for our friends and the love they feel from being
around us was amplified. There were so many tears of joy,
happiness, support and love that day it was overwhelming:'
(gayunityabroad.com)■
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American by Design
$reedom to marry.sf toast toJVJ).
Setting the table for a bright future.
In celebration, enjoy 30% off your purchases at lenox.com
when you enter the code FREEDOM at checkout.*
*Offer good until 11/30/ 11.
Like us at Facebook.com/Lenox for a chance to attend an exclusive event.
September 2011
I 51
Lesbian Locales
PROFILE
Southern Exposure
A South Beach resort opens its doors to lesbian travelers.
I
f you think South Beach, in Miami, is exclusively
a gay boys' paradise, think again. Topping the list
of reasons to go there are the fabulous Aqua Girl
parties and a hotel that is setting itself apart when it
comes to welcoming lesbian travelers. Under the sophis~
ticated eye of general manger Karen Brown, The Angler's
Boutique Resort is a luxurious retreat only two and a half
blocks from the beach yet a world away from the hedo~
nism of Miami's gay Golden Mile.
The Angler's Boutique Resort has real lesbian appeal
and it starts with Karen Brown, a lesbian herself and the
2007 Volunteer of the Year for the Aqua Foundation.
She works hard to keep this property at the top of your
must~stay list. A Miami native and a former thespian ( she
still does the occasional emcee or stand~up gig) Brown
has always been out in her industry and is behind The
Angler's bend~over~backwards gay~friendly policy. With
nearly two decades of hospitality experience to her credit,
she is part of the team that took a condemned property
and turned it into a resort enclave that gorgeously blends
Spanish Mediterranean and Miami Modern architectural
styles. The Angler's Boutique Resort now ranks high on
influential travel websites like TripAdvisor, where it con~
sistently vies for the No. 1 spot on the Miami Popularity
Index and holds a 4.5+ star rating.
"One of our first guests was a lesbian couple
from the U.K. who stayed seven days. They
were absolutely thrilled with their experience
here and put us on the map through so many
referrals;' says Brown.
The property, situated in the historic Art Deco district,
is "romantic, cozy, nesty and intimate;' says Brownqualities that appeal to lesbians. "We've been called a
discreet retreat;' she adds, explaining that the unique
resort was designed to keep noise to a minimum and to
guarantee the privacy of its guests. There's a variety of
accommodations: You can choose a studio suite or a duplex,
or splurge on a two~story villa with its own eight~person
LEZCRED
V TAG Approved as a gay-friendly hotel
V What Pride concierge? Everyone on the
staff is trained to cater to LGBT guests
V LGBT magazines, maps and guides
on the premises
V The Miami-Dade Gay and Lesbian
Center is just down the road
Jacuzzi on the patio. Lose yourself in lushly landscaped
grounds, laze by the pool and then indulge yourself at the
excellent on~site restaurant.
Part of Brown's job is to keep abreast of the fierce com~
petition among South Beach's 200~plus hotels. "Every
hotel in Miami has a celebrity who slept there. They're
all tone~on~tone decor. They all make martinis. You have
to differentiate yourself;' she explains. One of the ways
this "lovely and unusual" resort has done so, says Brown,
is its commitment to giving its guests a meaningful stay.
Hospitality is about going the extra mile and that's where
Brown's theater background comes in handy. Every day is
a new performance for her guests. "It's a big deal. The
effect you can have on someone celebrating a wedding, an
anniversary or a birthday is huge;' she says.
So next time you feel like heading down to Miami,
whether it's for sand, surf and sun or to experience the
vibrant lesbian community, drop in at The Angler's
and say hello to Karen Brown. She'll be expecting you.
( theanglersresort.com)[MerrynJohns]
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52
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Lesbian Locales
Getting
Over Her
on Oahu
There's no place
like Hawaii to
embrace being
single again.
By Gillian Kendall
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ix days after my partner of 12 years told me that
she needed a break from the relationship, and that
the break might be permanent, I'm unpacking in
a gracious room at Turtle Bay Resort on Oahu's
North Shore. The view from my room includes a sheltering
cove and distant dark-green mountains. The sun was
shining all yellow and brilliant for my arrival, but the
afternoon has changed to my favorite weather: gray skies
with humid breezes from the beach. A fruit basket has
just arrived, I'm about to go to yoga and I'm starting to
think that Hawaii might be good for heartache.
I expected to miss her with every breath, or at least with
every breathtaking view, but I'm having a nice, gentle time.
It helped that for the first time in 15 trips to Hawaii I
was met by a driver at the airport. As I trundled my trolley
through the immigration doors, exhausted by the journey from Australia, I saw my own name on a card held
by a gorgeous young Hawaiian man-Wally from Island
Transporter. He gave me what looked like a real smile and
what definitely was a real lei.
Flashback to 1999: After much Internet chat, lots of
phone talk and many letters, I met Nie in person for the
first time right here at HNL, in the international arrivals
terminal, and she was pushing her luggage cart. I dropped
a purple and yellow garland around her neck, and she said,
"Oh! It's real!"
But this time I got the lei, and I got to chat with the
Welcome Dude (whose name I thought was "Sterile Area"
because of his security badge) and then my luggage and I
were whisked away by Wally, who offered to take the "scenic route" -as if any roads on this island were not scenic.
Driving down the "interstate;' which doesn't go between
states but cuts through the mountains and winds around
the burial grounds of indigenous Hawaiians, Wally
told me ancient legends and his own life story. We even
stopped by his house to see Gaylene, co-owner of Island
Transporter. Only on Oahu does an Aussie-American
gay woman get taken home by a Hawaiian-born Samoan
Mormon to meet his Chinese-Hawaiian-Caucasian wife.
Stepping into their home, I felt I'd reached the heart of
the island.
From my top-floor room at Turtle Bay, not only can I
see the dark-green mountains and the swelling surf in the
bay, I can also see the resort's swimming pools, including
the children's slide. Flashback: Here, five or six years
ago with Nie, we kept running up and around the steps,
over and over, to slide down fast and fall into the clear
pool. She took a picture of me at the moment before I
splashed in. I'm laughing and have my hands spread wide
in excitement. Sigh. But this time, I adjust the room to my
preferences: AC off, sea air in, curtains shut while I nap.
If Nie were here, she'd leave the floor-to-ceiling shutters
September 2011
I 55
open for the view, so I wouldn't be able to sleep. A late~
afternoon Ashtanga yoga class on the lanai with Zachary
Hitchcock reminds me to breathe and to be open to the
moment. Stretching up and backward in a salute to the
sun, I find myself smiling.
Ola, a beach side restaurant at Turtle Bay, serves exqui~
site fish. Flashback: Nie said it was the best tuna sushi
she'd ever had. Tonight, I sit alone. Yes, I'm surrounded
by couples-gay
and otherwise-but
with my mango
pifia colada and the vegetarian appetizer platter, I'm
having as good a time as any of the coupled~up people
and better than some, to judge by how they look. A few
of the old couples seem bored, despite the amazing food
and view, and that makes me glad not to be like them.
Better to eat alone than sit with someone who doesn't
want to be there.
Ola's Asian guacamole features ginger, cilantro and
samba!, which warm up the avocado. There is warmth and
coolness on my plate, depth and distance in the sea. I'm
eating like a quarterback these days and drinking like a
cheerleader, keeping busy so I don't have time to feel bad.
And it's working. I don't feel bad at all.
56
I curve
The next day, I go horseback riding along the shady,
sandy trails of Turtle Bay-the whole resort stands alone
in more space than all of Waikiki Beach. No wonder I'm
relaxing. And with a morning gallop and an afternoon spa
treatment, who needs sex? My legs from the knees down
are massaged, exfoliated, moisturized and decorated during
a pineapple pedicure. I am feeling better than I have in a
long time. Flashback: Nie thought shaved legs and painted
toenails look funny. In the evening, my sexy feet and I go
to the Polynesian Cultural Center for the new Hawaiian
dance show, Ha: Breath of Life. For company, and because
she wanted to see the show, I take the pleasant young
woman who was my horseback~riding guide. We chat easily
and I don't miss Nie much. Ha!
Later in the week, I move to Ali'i Bluffs Windward Bed
& Breakfast, a small (two guest rooms!) B&B in a suburban
neighborhood in Kaneohe-it's an easy walk to buses and
shopping, a short drive to Lanikai, one of the best beaches
in the world.
The owners, Don and De, have been a couple for
44 years. Don-who
has been named Honolulu Gay
Businessman of the Year for his real estate work-
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provides comfy quarters at reasonable rates, and retired
fashion designer De paints dramatic, tasteful nudes in his
free time. The house is thick with oriental carpets, antiques
and objects d'art from the couple's art gallery in New York
and a lifetime of collecting beautiful things. Though there's
no central AC, cool breezes waft through, and iced drinks
are always available. The men's life together seems rich and
joyful, and they are sympathetic about my long~distance
loss without pitying me or prying. I feel at home with this
couple and inspired-even
if my relationship lasted only
12 years, some gay couples stay together for life.
This beauty, comfort and sensory indulgence make me
feel better, but I realize that the best luxury in life is having a
loving partner. I don't know if or when I'll have that again.
In the meantime, I admire the view from Don and De's
patio. I take the bus to Lanikai and watch the kite surfers
skimming across the chop. I read in the warm shade, I body
surf for hours and I go out to eat, at nice restaurants, alone.
I put a hibiscus Rower in my hair, I take post~dinner ambles
along the rocky point overlooking the moonlit water and I
do not fall in. ■
September 2011
I 57
PROFILE
The Full Brazilian
This progressive South American nation is showcased by a lesbian couple in love.
D
Erika Cunha (left)
and Melanie Cain
istance brought college chums Erika Cunha
and Melanie Cain into each other's arms.
When Cain went to study abroad in Australia
she included Cunha as a recipient of her
travel blog. 'J\fter exchanging emails for a few months,
and getting to know each other a bit more, I
couldn't wait to spend time with Erika in
person;' says Cain."When I returned, the
connection between us was electrifying.
And here we are, 12 years later, still
deeply in love:'
It didn't take long for Cain,
a native Floridian, and Cunha,
who's from Brazil, to realize that
they both really liked to travel,
and in the same way. After they
graduated from the University
of Florida, they took a year off
to explore-Australia,
Southeast
Asia, the Pacific, Europe, Central and
South America-always
immersing
themselves in local culture, and when
Cunha took Cain to Brazil, the idea of
Green Roots Travel was born.
"I had brought many friends to Brazil
over the years, and Melanie absolutely
fell in love with my country;' says Cunha. "So we thought,
'Why not share this wonderful country and culture
with others:" We love feeling like locals, not tourists.
We love the outdoors, exploring places beyond what is
offered in the guide books. Whether it's an amazing local
restaurant, or a beach that only locals go to, or meeting
the people who actually live in the communities-it
is
these authentic experiences and moments that make your
holiday unforgettable. We knew that there were people
out there who like to travel in the same way we do:'
Through Green Roots Travel, Cain and Cunha can give
you a personalized, insider perspective on Brazil. But as
lesbians, they can also give you the real gay~friendly deal.
In terms of equal rights, Brazil is proactive, and should
be at the top of your must~see list for that reason alone.
In May, Brazil's Supreme Court voted overwhelmingly in
favor of allowing same~sex couples to have the same 112
legal rights as married couples. In fact, ever since the end
of the military dictatorship in 1985, and the creation of
the new Constitution of Brazil in 1988, the country recog~
nizes bi~national couples and grants partners permanent
visas. Many states in Brazil have been known to give
adoption rights to lesbian mothers. So it's no surprise
that Cain and Cunha are happy to show Brazil's many
attractions off to Green Roots visitors.
Brazilians know how to celebrate and throw a great
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GREENROOTS'TRAVELPICKS
THINGSTO DO
"Brazil is such a large country that knowing where to go
and what to see can be daunting without expert help. We
never send anyone to a place we have not personally visited
ourselves. We work directly with local guides and hotels to
ensure that our clients get personalized service every step
of the way," says Cunha.
BEACHBUMS:Brazil has the longest continuous coastline in
the world, so its beaches and islands are a must. Choose
from Rio de Janeiro's beautiful, gay-friendly lpanema and
Copacabana beaches or hop on a plane to the romantic
island paradise of Fernando de Noronha, recommends
Cunha. "This protected marine sanctuary is the perfect spot
for horseback riding on deserted beaches, scuba diving
with dolphins and sipping champagne from your ocean-view
veranda. But, if you are looking for beautiful beaches and
a laid-back lifestyle, you must experience one of Brazil's
northeastern beaches, such as Jericoacoara or Praia da
Pipa. Or head south to the island of Florianopolis for ecofriendly natural beauty paired with the hottest parties."
Buzios-once known only as the sleepy fishing village where
Bridget Bardot first sported her famous bikini-is now a
hot spot for international visitors and has many tropical
beaches. And explore the charming colonial town of Paraty
on the Green Coast, with its 200-plus islands.
party (think Carnival), but exactly how well-received
are two lesbians out on the town in a Latin
American countryr
"Lesbians and gay men will feel right at home
in Rio de Janeiro or Sao Paulo;' says Cain. "And
as two women traveling to all regions of Brazil,
we have always felt very safe. Brazilians identify
with the term 'GLS; which stands for gays, lesbians and sympathizers. Many venues that classify
themselves as gay will often have a slightly mixed
gay-straight clientele. Whether you are enjoying
an ice-cold beer at an after-beach cafe or strutting
your stuff on the dance floor, you will experience
Brazil's friendly and open culture:'
Just how open and friendlyr Enough to have
single lesbians sashaying with a bossa nova beat
right on into the Portuguese-speaking
melting
pot. "Brazilian women have a reputation for being
sun-kissed hotties, and rightly so;' says Cain.
"But beauty runs so much more than skin deep
here. People make connections with the locals, and
often find themselves with new friendships that
last a lifetime:'
And making meaningful connections is something Cunha and Cain know a little something
about. (greenrootstravel.com) [MerrynJohns]
CULTURE
VULTURES:
In Rio, dine in Michelin-rated restaurants,
dance the night away at a Samba club or ride a catamaran
across the bay to the Modern Art Museum. Southwest of
Rio is the hilltop neighborhood of Santa Teresa, Brazil's
Montmartre, where you can browse the local galleries, sample
Brazilian gastronomy and shop for the latest fashions.
PARTYANIMALS:Brazil boasts the world's biggest, most
inclusive party, Carnival, a weeklong celebration held in
February or March. According to Guinness World Records,
the Sao Paulo Gay Pride Parade is the world's largest LGBT
Pride celebration, with over 3 million attending.
NATURE
LOVERS:
The Amazon is an obvious choice but also
consider the wildlife viewing floodplains of the Pantanal, the
sweeping sand dunes of Jericoacoara and the mind-blowing
intensity of the waterfalls at Foz do lguacu. If you don't have
time to leave Rio, visit the largest urban rainforest in the
world, the Tijuca Forest.
WHENTOGO
Brazil is a year-round destination, with seasons opposite
to those in North America. Low season is SeptemberNovember, when you may benefit from better pricing, better
weather and fewer crowds. Rainy seasons vary by region.
Just ask Green Roots Travel when and where your desires
will best be served.
September 2011
I 59
Lesbian Locales
S
Setting out on an Arctic
adventure in search of
polar bears.
ByAmy Lame
queezing into a seven-seater plane dubbed the
Turbo Beaver may seem like the perfect start to a
women-only vacation in the wilds of the Canadian
Arctic. But I overpacked (you never know when
you might need a pair of five-inch stilettos, even on a polar
bear expedition), and I was convinced my overstuffed bags
would prevent takeoff. I need not have feared. Our pilot,
Nelson, turned to me in a Top Gun moment, gave a thumbsup and said, "Let's do it!" As we soared across the tundra,
hugging the Hudson Bay coastline, I kept my eyes peeled
for any sign of polar bears. Once, when I was sure I had
glimpsed white fur, Nelson deadpanned, "It's a boulder:'
Traveling to the 59th parallel is not for the fainthearted,
but I was determined to make my lifelong dream a reality
and observe polar bears in the wild. Polar, panda, brown,
black or grizzly-I'm
a big fan of bears in all forms ...
heck, even most of my gay male friends are bears. We give
bears human qualities, but in reality they are nothing like
Paddington, Winnie and Baloo. And they certainly don't
wear a collar and tie like Yogi in Jellystone Park. Scary
and adorable, bears have a compelling alchemy: attraction, danger and mystery. Plus, I'm jealous that they get
to hibernate.
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When we were safely on the ground, nerves were soothed
with hot coffee and freshly baked gingersnaps. What a
relief! wasn't forced to eat boiled leather and lichen, as Sir
John Franklin did on his 19th-century Arctic expedition.
At Dymond Lake Lodge, Jeannie Reimer supervises the
kitchen alongside her mother, Helen Webber, who is the
co-author of the best-selling Blueberries and Polar Bears
cookbook series. The lodge is perched on a strip of land
bordered by Dymond Lake and Hudson Bay, 18 and half
miles) from the nearest town, Churchill. Its remote location allows for the rare experience of true silence. And the
huge picture windows mean that bear patrol was possible
from the cozy comfort of a fireside rocking chair.
Jeannie and her husband, Mike, own the bespoke
wooden eco-lodge with her parents; together they welcome guests for hunting, fishing and wildlife adventures.
For six weeks of the year-mid-October
to the end of
November-all
attention turns to the polar bear migration. Polar bears may be cute, but they can kill; males grow
to 10 feet and well over 1,500 pounds. Mike facilitated the
round-the-dock polar bear watch to be sure we caught a
glimpse of a bear if one came near, but most importantly
to ensure our safety. We were always escorted by bodyguards armed with rifles and pepper spray, even on the
25-foot outdoor walk from the accommodation lodge to
the dining lodge.
Frankly, I was enthralled by the prospect of spotting
a polar bear, whether it tried to attack me or not. This
stretch of Hudson Bay is the launchpad from which more
than 1,000 bears annually migrate north in search of seals
for food. But for the bears to start their trip, the bay needs
to freeze. Until that happens, the bears are on the tundra
in a state of walking hibernation. So we explored on foot
with super-strong binoculars and very warm coats, guards
in tow. We watched, waited, watched some more. We
spotted a falcon, a weasel, a wolf, a fox, snow buntings and
seals. But no bears ... yet.
We give bears human qualities,
but in reality they are nothing like
Paddington, Winnie and Baloo And
they certainly don't wear a collar
and tie likeYogi in Jellystone Park.
When the harsh Arctic wind got to be too much, an
afternoon cooking lesson or a spot of beauty therapy was
just the antidote. Complimentary treatments were on tap,
and my freshly painted hot-pink nails might have attracted
the bears' attention if the laughter of the 14 women on the
expedition hadn't scared them away.
For one week in the polar bear calendar, women are
invited to Dymond Lake to get in touch with their wild
side. Ronnie ran morning yoga sessions and country line
dancing lessons. Susan led power tundra walks. Wendy
coaxed us out of bed at midnight to see the Aurora Borealis.
Happy-hour blueberry martinis induced some highly
September 2011
I 61
Lesbian Locales
entertammg antics, including Orla's spontaneous Irish
dancing and Ronnie's flat-chested Dolly Parton impersonation. An impromptu kd lang karaoke session seemed
only right given our expansive Canadian surroundings.
In all this fun, the serious issue of global warming
loomed large. After all, we were women with a mission
to see polar bears, the unofficial poster child for climate
change. But I questioned whether traveling to the Arctic
could be justified, if my carbon footprint would be indelibly marked on the landscape.
Our guide, Ian, insisted "The more people see bears, the
more they want to protect them:' As I hadn't yet seen a
bear, I had to take his word for it. One thing is certain:
Climate change affects the bears' migration. Bears get onto
NEEDTO KNOW
The cost of the Great Ice Bear Tour in October
and November starts at $7,574 per person plus
tax. Includes return airfare from Winnipeg to
Churchill, return aerial transfers from Churchill
to Dymond Lake Lodge and all necessary
ground transfers, one night in Churchill, three
nights at the lodge and two nights in Winnipeg,
five breakfasts, four lunches, five dinners and
all activities while at the lodge.
MORE INFORMATION
CHURCHILL
WILD:churchillwild.com
CANADIAN
TOURISM
COMMISSION:
canada.travel
TRAVEL
MANITOBA:
travelmanitoba.com
POLARBEARSINTERNATIONAL:
polarbearsinternational.com
GAYCANADA:
travelgaycanada.com
the ice later, which means they are less likely to survive
until the spring thaw. Overall, the polar bear population
in the Arctic is stable, between 20,000 and 25,000,
but predictions for the future are bleak. I was surprised
to learn that polar bears are a threatened, but not endangered, species. Polar bear hunting is legal (albeit highly
controlled) in Canada, even for Caucasians. First Peoples
are given hunting privileges in accordance with their
heritage and experience.
After our jaunt at Dymond Lake, with not a bear
in sight, we were keen to see at least one of the elusive
creatures, so we boarded a tundra buggy in Churchill,
the Polar Bear Capital of the World. A cross between a
tractor and a bus, the tundra buggy is eco-friendly, comes
camouflaged in white and can easily cross the rocky terrain
of the Arctic. It was a surprise, then, that we broke down.
Needless to say, there's no AAA in the Arctic, and I didn't
want to ruin my manicure by pushing. Eventually, we were
rescued by another buggy carrying a team from Polar
Bears International (PBI), a nonprofit dedicated to the
preservation of polar bears and their habitat worldwide.
Our disaster turned 180 degrees, and PBI volunteers plied
us with tales of the important conservation and research
work they do around the world.
And yes. We saw polar bears. Three, to be exact. The
moment we pulled up alongside a bank of tundra scrub
and saw the first bear serenely sitting, watching, waiting
for the ice to freeze, it was awesome. Gasps were followed
by eerie silence. We knew we were privileged to witness
nature at her wildest. I was amazed at the bears' calm
curiosity. Their stature and rippling muscles as they
walked across the tundra. Their tiny ears and eyes. Their
webbed feet, humped backs and yawning stretches.
It was a life-changing moment-and
Ian was right.
Now that I've seen polar bears in all their power and
vulnerability, I definitely want to protect them. ■
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62
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Croatian
Heartland
Discovering ancient
lesbian lore in Croatia.
ByAmy Deneson
T
he town of Perusic was big enough to be included
on a map of Croatia but too small for guidebooks
to mention. I had no idea what to expect when my
partner Melinda and I pulled off the highway and
followed the signs to the birthplace of my great-grandfather. When the roads narrowed to single lanes, compact
cars gave way to tractors and concrete turned back into
cobblestone, we found Perusic. The farming village
spread across the rolling green and golden hills of the
Eastern European countryside looked somewhat similar
to the place my ancestors emigrated to in Iowa, settled
and never left.
''A kokos!" I cried, as a rooster ran into the road. A real
one. As far back as I can remember, my Grandma would
call out, "Who's my kokost And I would caw "Me!" in
return. And perhaps it was this childhood nickname that
first piqued my curiosity about our family's Croatian heritage. Maybe it was because I looked the most Croatianof all my third-generation American ethnicities-with
olive eyes, hair the color of dark honey and Mediterranean
skin. Or it could have been that once I discovered Croatia's
landscape included over a thousand islands bobbing in the
crisp Adriatic Sea along the country's craggy 3,000-mile
shoreline, I couldn't wait to go there.
When my trip was booked, Grandma sent a stack of
dusty airmail envelopes from her old-country cousin in
Croatia's capital city, Zagreb. They dated back four decades.
Most were Easter greetings between two devout Catholics.
There were a couple of long, laboriously translated letters
explaining our ever-expanding relations. And three photos.
Running my fingers along the typewriter ink that over the
years had blurred into a fuzzy gray font like Grandma's
September 2011
I 63
Lesbian Locales
64
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hair, I traced my roots. Actually, I Google-mapped them
across the heartland of Croatia.
Melinda and I landed in Zagreb on a Sunday to find the
capital almost entirely closed. Over 90 percent of Croatians
profess to be Christians, nearly all of them Catholic. I
planned to visit the monastery at the return address listed
on the nun's letters but thought better of dropping in on
the Sabbath. We bided our time exploring Zagreb-a
treasure map of outdoor sculptures, brightly tiled rooftops
and gardens ranging from an enchanted beer garden on top
of a funicular to a botanical garden in full July bloom.
The following morning we pulled up to a coral church at
Moscenicka 3. Inside the atrium, I tried to explain myself
in the halting Hrvatski I'd been practicing in Teach Yourself
Croatian on my iPod for months. I knew how to request a
room with a view or white wine, but"I believe I'm related
to a nun who lives here-if she's still alive" was never covered. Eventually between Melinda's Spanish and the nun's
knowledge of Italian from Vatican prayers, they cobbled
together the explanation: Madre de la Madre. Escribe.Esta
aya (The mother of the mother write this girl).
Ah yes! The nun escorted us into a visiting room that
had clearly been decorated with care where a gaggle of
"The nun you are looking for ... " he said, "is dead:'
There was no time to mourn. Miraculously, one of the
three photos I carried was of the nun's niece, my distant
cousin, Anica. She belonged to the parish and lived nearby.
"What does JUSt up the hill' meant Melinda asked.
"We'll see;' I said, turning the hand-drawn map upside
down or right side up or sideways. After a couple of wrong
turns and knocking on a deserted house with the same
address number on a different road, we rounded a corner
and saw them. Three generations of family on the lookout
from every level of their two-story home. Grandma hung
half out of the upstairs' picture window. Mom and Dad
surveyed the streets from the second floor balcony. And the
three teenage daughters spread out oldest to youngest from
the front door to the end of the yard. They were all shouting
excitedly "From Americat
They welcomed us in and despite being separated by
time, countries, religion and language; they felt like relatives and their hospitality, a homecoming. My cousin,
Anica, taught me how to pronounce Grandma's maiden
name, Marinac, Marine-natz instead of Mare-rin-nack.
I drew our family tree, showed them Iowa on a map and
added three of the daughters to my Facebook friends list.
nuns greeted us from behind a locked gate in the far wall.
"She's upstairs sleeping;' they explained, lifting their
jubilant faces heavenward. Melinda and I cheered. We
yelped and laughed at the luck. We almost kissed out of
habit but pulled back for a prolonged high-five hug. Until
they got the priest, who explained in perfect, projected
pulpit-like English that my cousin was really upstairs,
really,reallysleeping.
Anica challenged the love story my great-grandparents had
passed down on our side of the Atlantic Ocean. We heard
that Grandpa emigrated, made good and then sent for
Grandma. According to my cousins, they met on the boat.
Two independent travelers on their way to the new world,
which sounded like my stock.
They sent us on our way with raspberries from their
garden and boxes of hazelnut cookies. "Eat lamb in
Perusic;' they shouted by way of goodbye.
Driving through my great~grandfather's birthplace, there were plenty
of sheep braying through pastures but no restaurants. Short of knocking
on someone's one~story stone home door and joining them for lunch
we were out of luck. After l0~minute laps from one end of town to the
other, we turned toward a pink church on the hill. I was drawn to it even
though I've steered away from religion for most of my adult life.
The lovingly maintained medieval gothic church was the pride of the
town as well as the surrounding region of Lika. I imagined my great~
grandfather walked this very way for services, weddings, funerals and
potlucks.
I found it surprisingly meaningful to stand where my ancestors surely
stood. I took in the country breeze, fresh scent of growing corn, and blue
sky on the kind of day that inspires picnics. Wildflowers bloomed along
the path interspersed with puffy granddaddy dandelions just waiting for
a strong wind to carry their seeds to faraway places.
"Ready?"Melindaasked,takingmyhand.Wewereonlydrivingthrough.
There were no hotels in Perusic, nor was it the place for tourists.
Days later, while lounging on the sun~soaked island of Hvar where
lavender grows like grass and the sea is the color of emeralds wrapped
in Tiffany blue, I was beach~reading Croatia: A Nation Forged in War
by Marcus Tanner. I was nearing the end of the 18th century in his
expansive 1,000~year overview of the nation's history when Tanner
mentioned Perusic. He quoted an Italian traveler and scribe, Alberto
Fortis, who witnessed a same~sex union between two women at the
church in Perusic and recorded it in his Travels into Dalmatia (1778),
saying: "The satisfaction that sparkled in their eyes when the ceremony
was performed gave a convincing proof that delicacy of sentiments is
found in minds not formed, nor rather not corrupted, by society:'
"Lesbians got married at that pink church in Perusic;' I gasped.
"We were there! That's where I come from;' I said in awe. ■
Luxe Lesbian Croatia
Indulge in Croatia's world-class luxury, spectacular
scenery and lesbian-friendly hospitality.
Flyto ZagrebonAir France(Affairesclassoffersunlimited
champagne).
Checkintothe centrallylocated,five-star
RegentEsplanade
Hotelanddelightin the luxurious1920s
charmwith modernamenities(regenthotels.com).
After
savoringstrukli,a specialtynoodlericottadishthat will
makeyourwaiter'sfacelight up uponordering,meander
thoughZagreb'sgardenshostingsculpturesby renowned
artistIvanMestrovic-includingthe life-sizedsilverbustof
poetAntonGustavMatosgazingoverthe capitalcityscape.
Renta car whenyou'rereadyto moveon.
Explorethe UNESCO
WorldHeritageSiteof Plitvice
LakesNationalParkin the heartlandregionof Lika.Stay
at the privatehouseSobeSanKoranain the borderingvillage
(sankorana.com).
Aftermarvelingall morningat countless
waterfallscascadinginto 16 interconnected
lakesfrom
the park'sdusty,woodenpathways,the owner,knownas
"Boris'Dad,"will showyoua solitaryswimmingspot.
Islandhoppingis a mustin Croatia,andSplitis a gatewayportfor ferries.I recommend
stayinga 30-minutedrive
upthe roadin Trogir(trogir-palace.com).
Cobblestones
guidethe wayto architecturalwonders.Carveddoorways
leadto freshwholefish dinners.A medievalcastlehosts
concertsandfootballmatches.
If youmustpickoneisland,chooseHvar.Thedazzling
sun-soakedislandis purepleasure-seeking
bliss.
Rejuvenate
at HotelPodstine,
an unpretentious
four-star
nestledon a limestonecliff (podstine.com).
Reinvigorate
yourfive sensesat their holisticAMOspawherecouple
treatmentsuselocallavender,
grapes,oliveoil andsalt.
Aftersunningonthe privatebeach,dondesignernautical
wearandwalk 15 minutesseasideto HvarTown.Kickoff
the nightlife-likely to includeyacht-hopping
with bottles
of excellentlocalwhite-by diningat Maconda,
a seafood
restaurantto relish.
Affectionately
referredto asthe "Pearlof theAdriatic,"
the Dubrovnik
OldTownis constructedalmostentirely
of marbleandperpetuallypolishedbyvisitorsshuffling
pastits 10thcenturywallsseekingelevatedvistas.Follow
the weather-beaten
woodensignsColdDrinkswith the
MostBeautifulViewto BuzaBar.Thefive-starHotelVilla
Dubrovnikwhisksyouawayfromthe bakingstonestreets
in a Venetianspeedboatwhereyoumayoverlookthe
Adriaticfroma chicsuitewith a Jacuzzibalconyor dive
in froma tieredsundeckoverthe rockyshoreline(villadubrovnik.hr).
Skybarsunsetslive upto their promiseof
"RomanceForever."
Summeris the besttime to visit Croatia.Specialevents
to considerareDubrovnik'sInternational
Wine& Jazz
Festivalin May(dubrovnikwinejazz.com)
andSummer
Festivalin JuneandJuly (dubrovnik-festival.hr)
andZagreb
Pridein June(Zagreb-pride.net).
Croatiais a religious
country.Whilehomosexuality
is not illegalandacceptance
abundant,the LGBTcommunityis currentlyemerging
in Zagreb.
September 2011
I 65
Lesbian Locales
PROFILE
Nordic and Nice
A lesbian couple invites gay girls to experience Iceland's queer culture.
S
o small is the Icelandic population-lesbian
and
otherwise-that
when Eva Maria J:>orarinsdottir
Lange and Birna Hronn Bjornsd6ttir met on a
dancefloor at the Reykjavik Gay Pride women's
party four years ago, they were surprised they hadn't already
met. "I thought I knew all the Icelandic lesbians, especially
the beautiful ones!" laughs Birna. Sparks flew, and such was
their connection that the two formed a romantic relation~
ship-and the music duo DJ Glimmer-simultaneously.
Meeting lesbians in Iceland happens mostly through
personal introduction and, to date, the country has only one
gay and lesbian cafe, T nin6, and one dance club, Barbara,
which is upstairs from T nin6. But the lesbian community is
vibrant and dedicated, says Birna. She should know-she
and Eva Maria are the managers of Barbara and the owners
of T nin6, which hosts lesbian events aimed at the young
crowd that networks on the website Lez~Jungle. For older
women, there is a local club, called KMK, with an interest
in sports, traveling and hosting special women's nights; it
also offers a safe haven for late bloomers and those leaving
heterosexual marriages. A newly formed gay parents asso~
ciation caters to the Icelandic lesbian baby boom and Birna
says that RSVPs to girls' nights often include the caveat
"We'll definitely come if we can get a sitter:'
66
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With Johanna Sigurdardottir, an out lesbian, as prime
minister, it is little wonder that lesbian life in Iceland is
good. According to Birna, Sigurdardottir's sexuality received
"zero coverage" in the Icelandic media. "She has been a pol~
itician for decades and with her wife for almost 10 years
now. (They] were the first to take advantage of the marriage
laws passed on June 27, which was the final step in making
LGBT rights equal to those of straight people:' In fact, Gay
Pride in Iceland is one of the nation's biggest celebrations
and is supported by politicians-the
mayor of Reykjavik
had his own float last year and dressed up in drag.
But the best news for lesbians interested in visiting Iceland
is that this tight~knit community is especially welcoming to
its sisters from abroad. Birna and Eva Maria hope that
you'll consider them your hosts. In addition to DJing and
event planning, they have founded Pink Iceland, the
country's first and only LGBT tourism company. Pink
Iceland can assist you in creating a truly lesbian itinerary.
Birna and Eva Maria will enthusiastically share their inside
knowledge on everything from the cosiest accommodations to
the most spectacular sightseeing excursions. And all Pink
Iceland tours are organized in collaboration with their
gay~owned, gay~operated or gay~friendly "pink partners:'
(pinkiceland.is)[MerrynJohns]
PINKICELAND'SPICKS
THINGSTO DO
• The breathtaking scenery and numerous
natural hot baths of the West Fjords
• Whale watching off the coast of
Reykjavik
• A dip in a geothermal pool followed by
some local ice cream
• A gay history walk in Reykjavik: The
struggle for gay rights dates back to the
19th century
• A homestay or excursion with a mystic
healer, Ms. Moon
• White-water rafting, a rugged 4x4 Super
Jeep tour, diving or snorkeling
FOOD ANO DRINK
WHENTOGO
• Taste the local beer-it's
excellent
"Iceland is two countries, one in the
winter and one in the summer. We
recommend all seasons, but the high
season is summer with our midnight
sun and light 24/7," says Sirna. "The
first weekend of August is Reykjavfk
Gay Pride. Winter can also be very
interesting with its snow, the northern
lights and great winter activities."
• Incredibly fresh seafood
at Icelandic Fish & Chips
• A must-have is Icelandic
lamb, served in all the best
restaurants
• Try a hot dog at the
world-famous Bcejarins
Beztu hot dog stand
September 2011
I 67
BASTIAN
Life'sa
Beach
F
Fort Lauderdale turns
on the sun for lesbians.
By Merryn Johns
ort Lauderdale, the South Florida beachside town
once considered a quieter alternative to the edgy,
more cosmopolitan Miami, has now come into its
own-especially
for gays and lesbians. With an
estimated 150 LGBT~owned and operated businesses,
it is eclipsing Miami and Key West as gay destinations.
Fort Lauderdale's gay travel market-a market in its own
right-contributes a sizable chunk to the estimated 1 billion
dollars spent by tourists there each year. The good news
for lesbians who are yet to acquaint themselves with this
city on the beach, which lacks the high rise and hustle
of Miami, is that the town is low~key and affordable,
with a healthy balance of nature and culture, an almost
endless stretch of beautiful coastline, several parks, a solid
gay neighborhood with a great lesbian bar and countless
palate~pleasing restaurants.
WHERETO SlJ\Y
While there is a plethora of gay establishments
68
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in Fort
Lauderdale for the boys-some
of which are clothing
optional-unfortunately
there is no such luck for lesbians
(note to lesbian entrepreneurs: There's a gap in the market).
There are, however, a number of gay and lesbian~friendly
establishments that are both reasonable and stylish and
extremely welcoming of women. Our pick is B Ocean
(bhotelsandresorts.com). Located right on the beach this
sleek white landmark, which was recently completely
renovated, boasts ocean views from most rooms, possesses
a relaxed yet upbeat atmosphere and should definitely
be on the lesbian radar-especially
after we observed
Leisha Hailey checking in.
WHERETO EAT
One of the many pleasures of eating in Fort Lauderdale
is the option of alfresco dining. There's really nothing
like relaxing beachside with a cold cocktail, a cool breeze
and excellent food. The elegant yet laid back H20 Cafe
(h2ocafe.net) offers up modern Italian~inspired cuisine
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WHATTODO
with an emphasis on seafood. For lesbian carnivores,
dinner at New York-style steakhouse Rare (rarelasolas.
com) in the upmarket Las Olas Boulevard is a must. For
vegetarians and those who love them, Sublime restaurant
and bar (sublimerestaurant.com) is sophisticated and satisfying, and for Asian fusion enthusiasts you can't beat the
generous servings and spice at Galanga! (galangarestaurant.com). I£ like us, you love to support lesbian-owned
businesses, we heartily recommend the petite lesbianowned bistro, Le Patio (lepatiowiltonmanors.com), which
serves continental comfort food. A long-term Irish-French
couple, Jean Doherty and Vero Leroux, run the restaurant
with their daughter Kathleen, and they are fairly sure that
the newish establishment is the only lesbian-owned and
restaurant in South Florida.
WHERETOGO OUT
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The neighborhood of Wilton Manors is fast becoming a
gay mecca. This is where all the gay bars are located and
many gay locals live (nearby Oakland Park is a favorite with lesbians, you may bump into Dani Campbell).
Lesbians are free to roam pretty much anywhere here
but we felt at home in Sidelines Sports Bar (sidelinessports.
com), a fun place to hang out and watch a game, play a
game, or enjoy super-cheap drinks specials. For a lesbianonly environment, the down-to-earth and friendly New
Moon (newmoonbar.com) is the place to go for a few
brews, a game of pool, and the opportunity to flirt with the
local lezzies. If you want an outrageous night of drag dining
and debaucherous divas head to LIPS (lipsusa.com).
One of the first things you'll notice about Fort Lauderdale
is that the locals are fit. The vast stretch of golden-sand
beach and the many outdoor activities on offer encourage an active lifestyle, so make the most of it when you
visit. There are numerous gay beaches to choose from:
Sebastian Street, which is right on Fort Lauderdale beach,
or nearby Terramar Street. Local lesbians like the far
north end of the beach, which is less crowded, or head
to John Lloyd State Park (in Dania, which is South of
the airport) for a very natural vibe. You can also rent a segway
(mcruzrentals.com) and tour through the Hugh Taylor
Birch State Park, which is right on the beach, the route
affording lush subtropical vegetation and beautiful views.
For those looking to take a real walk on the wild sidethink alligators-head out to the exotic Everglades, which
are a reasonable drive from town. Take a Swamp Buggy ecotour and airboat ride at Billie Swamp Safari (billieswamp.
com), perfect if you want a dose of wildlife or have kids
to entertain. Lunch on the Big Cypress Seminole Indian
Reservation (semtribe.com/safari) is a lesson in history.
Comparatively low-key adventure options in the heart
of Fort Lauderdale include snorkeling, parasailing, kitesurfing, and kayaking along the intercoastal where you may
catch sight of a manatee. A lazier way to enjoy the waterways (Fort Lauderdale is the Venice of America!) is to buy
a water taxi day pass and bar hop along the intercoastal,
window shopping for yachts.
If your idea of adventure travel is high-octane shopping,
opt instead for some luxury retail therapy at Sawgrass Mills.
Florida's largest retail center features almost two miles of
shops and 400 name brand outlet stores including Prada,
Burberry, Bloomingdales, Saks Fifth Avenue, DKNY,
Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, and more. Reward your bargain hunting with antipasti at Villagio restaurant and head
back to the beach to try on that new swimsuit. ■
GAY FUNIN THESUN
Always bountiful, Fort Lauderdale has not one, but two Prides:
in February/March (pridesouthflorida.org) as well as June
(the Stonewall Street Festival & Parade).
• Read up on LGBT South Florida with the
Florida Agenda (floridaagenda.com)
• For your complete guide to what's on in
Fort Lauderdale for queers, go to glbt.sunny.org
• For some sporty fun, check in with the girls at the
South Florida Amateur Athletic Association (sfaaa.net)
• If you want to network with lesbian business types while
in town (maybe you'll meet a local yacht-owning lovely),
reach out to Women in Network (womeninnetwork.com)
September 2011
I 69
Lesbian Locales
AlternatJve
DIQS
A recession-proof
strategy to keep you
globe-trotting.
By Stephanie Schroeder
F
ancy hotels are great, but they are hard on the
pocketbook. Bargain hotel rooms-those
set aside
for tourists-are
a wallet~friendly alternative, but
are all too often both sterile ( as in not very wel~
coming) and not very clean.
But before you decide you're doomed to yet another stay~
cation, there is a fun route to conserving cash and still having
your dream holiday: Utilize alternative accommodations such
as home exchange/ apartment swaps and temporary hosted
accommodations. Embarking upon any of these options is
an adventure in itself-and well worth the effort.
Not only is it budget friendly, but living in someone's
home while you're on vacation allows you to authentically
experience a locale, not just the four white walls of a hotel.
You can, of course, still dine out. However, there are those
of us who think it's exciting to pick up provisions at a local
produce stand, butcher shop or cheese market and actually
prepare meals in foreign territory.
I'll never forget the thrill of my first home exchange
adventure. I wanted to visit Paris but stumbled upon an
ad on Craigslist for a "small historic town in Holland:'
Intrigued, I changed course, pursued that exchange and
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made a dear friend of the writer of the online ad. Plus,
the lovely home at Hofdijkstraat 3 in Alkmaar, Holland,
was the just beginning of my journey to loving alternative
accommodations for travel.
Resources available for home exchange arrangements
range from the local Craigslist House Swap section (where
I've found four of the seven swaps I've made); to mainstream exchange sites such as Jewett Street (jewettstreet.
com); to specifically LGBT sites such as Home Around
the World (homearoundtheworld.com).
With the rise in popularity of couch
surnng and a dedicated site for
nnding surfers and securing a
couch, the idea of paying for a
couch, or better yet a bed, has
become more common than ever
Ken Russell, the proprietor of Home Around the World,
recently updated his site to include gay-friendly travelers
offering their homes, as well as gay and gay-friendly
vacation rentals and hotel recommendations. Russell
concurs with my own belie£ born of experience, that home
exchange is not simply a business transaction but a relationship, one that can turn into a friendship, produce an
extended family or simply become a continuing exchange
situation. Home Around the World does a brisk business,
generally transmitting 50 to 100 messages a day.
I've experienced every aspect of home exchange by swapping my various Brooklyn pads for ones in Amsterdam,
Dublin, London, Stockholm, Bologna, Vancouver and
London again. All have worked out fabulously. All the
characters I've swapped with have had different quirks,
and I've had a different kind of relationship with each
of them. One disappeared out of my life while another
was a great friend until he died last year. Those whom I've
never met I keep in touch with via Facebook. With other
swap partners, I've actually met members of their family
before, or in lieu 0£ meeting them. The sister of a woman
I swapped with comes to Brooklyn every summer and we
are great pals. I've never met her sister, whose London
apartment I inhabited for two weeks several years ago.
While saving dough and living like a local has broad
appeal, lots of folks are understandably skeptical about
leaving their home in the hands of people they've never
met before.
To really feel good about an exchange, you need to
have open communication. If you're not on a gay site, you
definitely need to come out. Europeans for the most part
aren't hung up on sexuality the way Americans are, and it's
mostly no big deal. But everyone should know what he or
she is getting into-so honesty is essential.
Write a captivating online description of your property,
yes; but don't lie. If yours is not a safe neighborhood to be
out in, tell your queer exchange partner. If you don't have
an elevator, fess up. Do exchange online photo albums of
your respective abodes, yourselves (if you care to), and
links to your professional or personal website or Facebook
page. An online presence makes it more real and gives you
the information you need to feel good about leaving your
space (and keys) in someone else's hands.
Aside from home exchange, hosted in-home guest
accommodations are another option for the frugal traveler. With the rise in popularity of couch surfing and a
dedicated site for finding surfers and securing a couch, the
idea of paying for a couch, or better yet a bed, has become
more common than ever. Three major online communities that compete in the hosted accommodations space are
Airbnb, Wimdu and Roomorama.
I've hosted many guests through Airbnb. Every situation
has turned out fine. Some guests are more demanding than
others, but building in personal parameters and livingarrangement boundaries is essential, as both a guest and a
host. In-home accommodations are yet another adventure
to prepare and be prepared for. All the sites I mentioned
give you the option to make your own "house rules" as
strict or as flexible as you like.
Don't let a down economy dampen your wanderlust.
Instead, let your adventurous spirit fly as you swap, surf
and see the world. ■
TIPSFORNEWBIES
What if they steal my stuff?
No one is going to fly halfway around the
world-or even travel from the next state
over-to pinch personal belongings that
have meaning only to you. Also, you'll be at
their place, and your swap partner needs
and wants to be able to trust you just as
much as you need and want to trust them.
How can I make sure the swapper is
aboveboard?
You can ensure the legitimacy of identities
and addresses, receive background checks,
report abuse, avail yourself of mediation
services, and obtain legal forms for motor
vehicle and other exchanges by swapping
with a CHEC-certified (chectravel.com)
exchange partner. It costs $25 annually to
be a member. Most individuals looking for
swaps are not members of CHEC. However,
many exchange sites are.
September 2011
I 71
REVIEWSMusic Watch
MusicFor Lovers
A queer electro-pop trio worth fallingfor. By Dave Steinfeld
The Portland, Ore.,based band Lovers has
spent much of the first half of 2011 on the
road in support of their album Dark Light,
which arrived last fall. This disc finds the
longtime leader Carolyn Berk joined by
percussionist and synth programmer Emily
Kingan and fellow syn th programmer (and
performance artist) Kerby Ferris. The result
is an album that is more group,oriented than
previous Lovers outings. As singer,songwriter
Berk says, "I felt very supported and respected
during the recording process. That was a really
eye,opening feminist experience for me. If I
could give my younger,self advice about ere,
ative collaboration, it would be to make sure
there is an enormous level of mutual respect.
Because in art, there is no 'right' way to do
something:' Indeed, though they haven't pre,
viously recorded as a band, the members of
Lovers have been acquainted with each other
721
curve
for nearly a decade. Kingan was touring with
The Haggard, a female hardcore band based
in Portland, back in 2002 when she invited
Berk to join the bill after the latter's van
broke down. Berk did team up with Kingan's
band-and
Ferris was their roadie!
Dark Light is an appropriate title for this
release as its 10 tracks combine synth,heavy
arrangements with Berk's plaintive, sometimes
yearning vocals for an effect that is oddly
mechanical and human at the same time.
Kingan explains, "I programmed the synths
and drum beats into a piece of equipment
called a Roland MC,505. I chose to use this
sequencer in particular because it has a very
warm sound with a wide range of frequen,
cies. We didn't quantize the synth parts, but
recorded them with more human looseness
and swing:' Ferris adds, 'J\n electronic music
project that is lyrically driven and focused has
been a dream of mine for many years. I'm a
total technophile and a total humanist, and I
see our musical style as a way of negotiating
those themes: As a way to use human inno,
vations not as instruments of sterile isolation
and uniformity, but as a means to further
our connections with one another:' Perhaps
coincidentally, the catchy "Don't You Want It"
contains the great line "I make alliances with
the appliances:' Elsewhere on the album, the
track "Peppermint" flirts with more existen,
tial themes. "I wrote that song when I was 21
or 22;' reveals Berk. "I remember sitting alone
in an empty room in my house and the song
just sort of started playing itsel£ It's on the
first album I ever made, Starlit Sunken Ship,
but I wanted to re,record it and update the
sound because lyrically, it still feels relevant. I
think of it as a lullaby, a little prayer of hope
and connection:'
Riot Grrrl Revisited
The members of Lovers share a deep and
abiding affection for their Northwestern
hometown."One of the best parts of Portland
is its commitment to sustainability;' says
Kingan. "There are so many farmers' markets
community gardens and options for public
transportation. There are lots of programs
and grants available to help small businesses.
It's geographically beautiful-close
to the
ocean, close to the mountains and the desert.
Portland has a very supportive independent
music and arts scene as well, which has been
really good to us:'
Ferris echoes Kingan's feelings adding,
"[There's] a very feminine and nurturing
kind of energy [here] that I think has served
the city well. Communities in Portland are
brainstorming ways to live more sustainable
and creative lives. There's a lot of momentum
and innovation around those themes-and
a
sense that people are working hard at it:'
Lovers benefits from the fact that its three
members cite extremely disparate musical in~
fluences. 'Tm a huge Dylan fan;' gushes Berk.
''And Ijust love the songwriter poets of our time
like Leonard Cohen, Michael Stipe, Gillian
Welch, Sinead O'Connor, Patti Smith, Kanye
West, The Indigo Girls,JeffMangum, Conor
Oberst and Paul Simon:' A varied group, to
say the least. Berk also cites queer writers
like Allen Ginsberg and James Baldwin as
favorites as well as the young filmmaker Xavier
Dolan who she describes as "a queer genius:'
For Kingan's part she says, "When I first
started playing music in the mid~'90s, I was
very inspired by other Northwestern female
and queer bands such as Team Dresch, Bikini
Kill, Heavens to Betsy and The Third Sex.
Their music was accessible [but] powerful
and it mirrored my own experience in the
world:' Ferris also cites Team Dresch as an
influence as well as singer~songwriters like
Ani DiFranco and Tracy Chapman. But
at the same time, she gives props to disco
pioneers like Larry Levan, Arthur Russell
and Sylvester, the late, openly gay singer who
scored hits like "You Make Me Feel Mighty
Real" and"Dance (Disco Heat):' Ferris muses,
"I guess the consistent themes throughout
my musical life are relentless gayness and
relentless innovation. They just sound so
good together!" (loversarelovers.com)■
Going down memory lane with Le Tigre's Who Took The Bomp.
WhenI pickedup LeTigre'sself-titledalbum
on a whimbackin 1999-becauseI likedthe
cut-and-paste
stylecover-I hadno ideawhat
a revelatoryexperience
the recordwouldplay
in myfresh-out-of-high-school
life.Backin
thoseheadypre-9/11dayswhentheAmerican
culturalparadigmhadyetto fully shifttoward
the consumerist,
conservative
andcivil liberty
crushingBushyears,the oncestrongriot grrrl
movement
wasbarelyhangingon by a thread
as mainstream
feminismwasactivelybeing
co-optedbythe SpiceGirls'empty"girl power"
message.
LeTigre,frontedby riot grrrl royalty
KathleenHanna-who hasa uniquegift for
beltingout irreverentpoppytracksinfusedwith
overtlyqueerandfeministmessages-managed
to keepthe rebellionalivewith relatablesongs
instilledwith unflinchingpoliticalmessages
whichwere,quiteliterally,musicto myears.
Rounding
outthe bandwasbassistJohanna
Fatemanandthe alluringlyandrogynous
keyboardist
JDSamson.
Andwhilethe group
wenton indefinitehiatusin 2007,the legacy
continuesthroughtheir musicandnowwith
theirnewdocumentary
WhoTooktheBomp.
Filmedin 2004,asthe bandtouredin supportof theiralbumThisIsland,WhoTookThe
Bompoffersa rarepeekbehindthe curtain
for oneof the mostimportantfeminist,queer
bandsin musichistory.Madeup of a collection
of liveperformance
footageandbackstage
hijinks,it's a hilariousandeye-opening
glimpseat the whip-smartandincrediblyfunny
mindsbehindthe music.
Whatstandsouttodayis howunapologeticallyfrontandcentertheir politicswere-even
whentheygainedworldwideattentionthey
refusedto compromise
theirprinciples.
This
is evidentin an incidentthatoccurslatein the
docin whichthe bandmustdecidebetweenan
opportunity
for greaterexposure
andstickingto
theirpoliticalgunswhena women'smagazine
refusesto includethe world"lesbian"on a promotional
flyerfor a plannedeventwiththeband,
thusexposing
someunexpected
homophobia.
Ultimately,
theypassonthepromotion.
Alsofeaturedis LeTigre'sperformance
artlikestageshow-a flurryof sequins,brightly
coloredlycraandchoreographed
dances.
What'sclearis the powerthistrio hadon
stage,matchingthe politicallychargedlyrics
andslideshows
with irreverent,
relatableantics
that engagedandempowered
the audience.
Thedocservesas an excellentreminderof
whenfeminismandDIVprincipleswerevital
andpalpablein the zeitgeist.Funny,brilliant
andsubversive,
WhoTooktheBompis guaranteedto getyourfeministdanderup andmake
youachefor a reuniontour.Inthe meantime,
youcanmakedo by puttingthis DVDon
repeatandsharingit with all yourgirlfriends
(andbabydykes)whomayhavemissedthis
essentialqueerfeministbandin theirheyday.
(oscilloscope.net)
[RachelShatto]
September 2011
I 73
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
The Dark Arts
Nine must-see horror films for lesbians By Rachel Shatto
While dramas and psychological thrillers like
The Kids Are All Right and Black Swan garner all
the headlines ( and awards) for their daring
lesbian plots, it's the often underrated horror
genre that's most deserving of a second look.
Thanks to its innately subversive nature, the
genre has been lesbian inclusive almost from
inception. It's gone from the Sapphically suggestive Dracula'sDaughter (1936) and implied
lesbianism in The Haunting (1963) to the
none-too-subtle seductresses of Hammer's
lesbian vampire films of the '60s and '70s, to
present day films like High Tension, where
subtext becomes plot and lesbian characters
and actors have found a genre ready to embrace
and portray their queerness. So if in the past
you've given horror a pass, it's time to catch
up. Here are nine modern spooky gems that
no lesbian should miss.
1. Stakeland (DarkSkyFilms):In a post-apocalyptic world where vampires have decimated
the population, small pockets of humanity
cling together to fend off the ravages of vamps,
nature and vicious religious cults. Stake Land
74
I curve
stars Kelly McGillis as an ex-nun who joins a
rag tag group of vampire slayers making their
way north to the promise of safety. Beautifully
shot, acted and achingly atmospheric, this
film manages to terrify as well as take you on
an affecting emotional journey through the
cruel, unforgiving and deadly wasteland.
2. TheWard(ArcEntertainment):
Staring Amber
Heard, The Ward is the latest from master
of horror John Carpenter (Halloween, The
Thing). The film opens with Heard setting a
house ablaze and being forcibly committed
for her trouble. She's trapped with a group
of unpredictable patients, cruel orderlies and
worse: a ghost on who is hell bent on killing
off the ward's inhabitants. It's an effective little
ghost story with a compelling central mystery.
But it's a solid performance from the always
sexy Heard that earns it a spot on our list.
3. HighTension
(LionsGate):Sick, relentless and
powerfully effective, this French import is not
for the faint of heart or weak of stomach. It
follows a lesbian tracking down the intruder
who broke in and brutally murdered her best
friend's family and made off with her bestie
(also the object of her affection). While it's
caught some flack for a twist at the end,
it remains a tightly-wound, ruthless, gorehound's delight.
4. Trick 'r Treat(WarnerHomeVideo):This
anthology with intersecting plotlines is in the
tradition of the fantastic horror anthologies of
the '80s. Starring out bisexual Anna Paquin,
the film follows divergent stories that take
place on Halloween night. Complete with
tales of classic monsters, serial killers and local
urban legends, the film also introduces one
z
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of the best horror villains since the '80s in
Sam, a childlike mask~wearing demon who
punishes through tricks and treats.
5. TheHunger(WarnerHomeVideo):This
modern classic, is a contemporary interpre~
tation of the lesbian vampire trope dating as
far back as 1872 with the novella Carmilla.
In this case, the role of the vampiric seduct~
ress is played by the divine Catherine
Deneuve, and her female victim/lover is
Susan Sarandon (sporting a super~dykey
short do). A perfect blend of'60s Hammer~
style horror and '80s New Wave. Haunting,
melancholy and infinitely re~watchable.
6. All the Boyslove Mandylane (Optimum
Horror aficionados first
HomeReleasing):
met the then~closeted Amber Heard in
this artfully~made slasher. A group of teens
head off to a remote farmhouse for a week~
end of partying and hanky panky only to
find they are not alone-someone
with a
murderous agenda has followed them. This
beautifully shot, convention~busting film is
elevated above the standard teen slasher
fare by its gritty and dreamlike delivery.
7.Jennifer's
Body(20th
Century
Fox):Written
by
Academy
Award~winner
Diablo
Cody,
[jJ'
~ helmed by Girl Fight director Karyn
<{
~ Kusama and starring bisexual bombshell
i§ Megan Fox, there is a lot to sink your teeth
ir:
~ into with this high school monster flick.
c'.3 Playing on themes of horizontal hostility
~ and latent lesbian tendencies, it's Heathers
I
~ meets Night of the Demons punctuated with
g- clever, cheeky dialog. Plus, the much~pub~
[ licized makeout between Fox and Amanda
~ Seyfried is worth the price of admission.
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8. Grace(AnchorBay):How far will you go
to protect the one you lover A car accident
w
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~ leaves the pregnant Madeline widowed
:3 and her unborn child dead. But in what
~ seems to be a miracle, Grace is born alive
(.)
175and healthy-but with an inhuman hunger.
~ Subplots include breast milk fetishists
ffi and a lesbian love story. This take on the
0
~ zombie baby theme is an emotional tour de
I
~ force that will stay with you long after the
~ credits of this indie shocker roll.
(.)
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1-
z
9. Sick Girl (AnchorBay): This short film
from Showtime's Masters of Horror series is
perhaps the most straightforward example
of horror for lesbians. Lonely, shy lesbian
entomologist Ida Teeter (Angela Bettis) has
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;
-:-.
finally found the girl of her dreams until a
parasitic insect's bite begins influencing her
new girlfriend. Darkly comic and disarmingly
sweet, this gross~out gem is an absolute
must~see. ■
'i
TheFishChild
(WolfeVideo)
Fringe:TheComplete Battle:LosAngeles
ThirdSeason
{SonyPictures)
(WarnerHomeVideo)
Partromance,
part
crimethrillerand
AnnaTorvstarsas
partartfilm,this
F.B.I.
specialagent
Argentinean
import
OliviaDunhaminthis
followsthestoryof
smartsci-fithrillerfrom
LalaandAilin(played executive
producer
byInesEfronand
andLostcreatorJ.J.
Argentine
popstar
Abrams.Dunham
turnedactor,Mariela
isjoinedby morally
VitaleakaEmme,
ambiguous-andmore
respectively},
two girls thana littlemadfromdifferentendsof
scientistWalterBishop
theeconomic
spectrum andhisgeniusson
whoserelationship,
Peteroninvestigations
whenthreatened,
leads of crimesonthefringe
to a shockingcrime.
of science.Plusit coWeaving
in themesof
starsoutlesbianJasika
mythology,
socialdisNicoleasspecialagent
parityandsexualabuse AstridFarnsworth.
The
TheFishChildis a
thirdseason
focuses
rivetingandmelancholy primarily
onthegrowing
taleaboutthestrength warbetweenparallel
of lovejuxtaposed
with universes
in which
thecrueltyof the real
duplicates
of thecast
world,culminating
in
withvariedagendas
a violentfinalethatis
engagein covert
bothdevastating
and
experiments
and
unforgettable.
Thefilm espionage.
That'snotto
garnered
9 Argentinean saythattheseriesis all
Academy
nominations, cold,hardscienceincludingonefor best
it hasa lot of heart;
film,andVitaletook
in fact,muchof the
homea statuefor her
pleasure
of theseries
powerhouse
perforis derivedfromthe
mance.If grittylesbian personal
dramasthat
romances
appealto
areonlymultipliedby
you,besureto seek
thevariousversionsof
thisoneout.
thecharacters.
Elektraluxx
{SonyPictures)
Priorto its release,
ElektraLuxxis a sequel
Battle:LosAngeles
to the 2009ensemble
wasbeinghailedasthe dramedyWomen
in
BlackHawkDownof
Trouble,
whichfollowed
alieninvasion
films-a
a groupof women,
grittyemotional
tourde eachfacingunique
whoselives
forcethathumanizes struggles,
whileit simultaneously intersectin unexpected
displaysthe horrorsof
ways.Whilethefirst
war.Well,BlackHawk film dealtwithturmoil,
Downit is not.It lacks thesequelcomesfull
boththe realismand
circlewithtalesof
emotional
punchof that closure-andeven
warclassic.Whatit is,
a coupleof happy
however,
is a machismo endings.Backis the
soaked,moderately
pregnant,
nowretired,
clichedbutultimately pornstarturned
funsci-fiaction-filled sexologist
ElektraLuxx
escape.Plus,youcan
(CarlaGugino},
who
alwayscountonusto
is continuing
hersoul
enjoyanyopportunity searching
in thefaceof
to watchMichelle
unexpected
motherRodriguez
handingout hood.Alsobackare
alienbuttkickings.
callgirls/BFFs
Holly
Whileyoumayhaveto (Adrianne
Palicki)and
dodgea few glaringplot Bambi(Emmanuelle
Chriqui)
whoembark
holesalongtheway,if
you'vegota tastefor
ona surprisingly
adrenaline-fueled
sci-fi charminglesbianlove
withplentyof unique
story.Whilenotas
andhighlyaggressive strongas its predeintergalactic
action
cessorElektraLuxx
(andaren'tputoff by
is a silly,campyand
pro-militarymessages satisfyingconclusion
akinto recruitment
for thetitularwomen
introuble.Andkeep
advertisements},
give
thisflick a try,youmay aneyeoutfor cameos
besurprised.
froma few lezziefaves.
September 2011
I 75
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Gay Times
A novel look at the queer zeitgeist now. By Rachel Pepper
From lesbian motherhood to a
queer love triangle, two distinct
new books depict aspects of
LGBT life today.
TimesTwo:TwoWomenin love and
theHappyFamilyTheyMade,Kristen
Henderson
andSarahKateEllis(Free
Press): Since stories of lesbians
having babies are now almost commonplace, this couple decided to up
the ante and have two-at the same
time! Actually, Kristen Henderson,
bass guitarist for Antigone Rising,
and her partner Sarah Kate Ellis, vice
president of marketing for Real Simple
magazine, didn't purposefully try to
have "lesbian twins:• But after months of
fertility treatments, Sarah still wasn't pregnant, and by the time she had her final insemination, Kristen had already started trying.
They should have realized that they both
could potentially conceive at the same timethis has happened to other lesbian couples
before! But as any woman knows when fertility has proven elusive, just getting one person
pregnant can feel like an unlikely miracle.
So it was both incredibly amazing and truly
terrifying when Henderson and Ellis got the
news that they were both pregnant-in
the
same cycle. While their story could easily
have become sensationalized, what makes
it work are the alternating narrator voices,
and the fact that it is extremely funny. This
reviewer laughed aloud many times while reading Times Two, especially when the nauseated
and hormonal partners completely disagree
on how to approach their respective pregnancies-including
on oft-prickly subjects
like knowing the baby's gender, the merits
of natural childbirth and circumcision. Such
disagreements, how they resolve them, and
the occasional mishaps they encounter ( such
as Kristen going into labor on the day they've
scheduled for their wedding) actually make
for the most enjoyable moments in the book.
Times Two is charming and funny, but it's also
fairly mainstream, perfect for sharing with
76
I curve
straight allies and family members anxious
to understand lesbian baby making. But for
those hoping for a more cutting edge account
of LGBT parental activism or rock star radicalism, you'll need to look elsewhere, because
star hanging on to her
sanity by a thread, Amy,
self-assured trust fund hipster who's been dating Josh,
and Josh himself, a transman paramedic who acts as
the story's emotional anchor.
This is a queer love story,
involving several folks of various sexual orientations and
identities, all in their mid20s, treated empathetically
and matter-of-factly by the
author. There are no annoying,
shocking gender discoveries on
which to hinge the plot. Rather,
in creating her story, Whittall
treats it as a given that in urban
LGBT communities, sexuality is often fluid,
that there are dykes who date transmen and
that the transmasculine identity of Josh is
just part of his character's overall schema.
Besides getting the details right about Josh's
As any woman knows when fertility has proven
elusive, just getting one person pregnant can feel like
an unlikely miracle. So it was both incredibly amazing
and truly terrifying when Henderson and Ellis got the
news that they were both pregnant-in the same cycle.
these women are actually fairly traditional.
Still, as an interesting entry into the canon of
queer parenting tales, it's well worth a read.
(simonandschuster.biz/ free-press)
transition, Whittall obviously did a lot of
research on the complex and often fast-paced
working world of the paramedic, further
rendering him a believable, sympathetic young
working man. Thus, the story really becomes
HoldingStill For as long as Possible,Zoe just a modern tale of young adults coping
Whittall(Houseof Anansi):
This novel recently
as best they can while drinking, smoking,
won the Lambda Literary Award for best
texting and riding their bikes over streetcar
transgender fiction. Written by a Canadian
tracks in the rain. And as the triangular
cisgender author, Holding Still for as Long relationship between Amy, Billy and Josh
as Possible is part of an exciting new wave of becomes increasingly intertwined and complex,
books highlighting trans characters without
Whittall accelerates the pace, till a final crisis
making their gender the book's primary focus. puts their friendships, and their complicated
Set in Toronto, the novel is told by three
love for each other, to a challenging test.
well-developed characters: Billy, an ex-child
(anansi.ca) ■
Tech REVIEWS
A BrightIdea
Two designers are redefining solar chic. By Rachel Shatto
Who among us hasn't been frustrated by an
inconveniently drained mobile phone battery
6' or by the constant struggle to locate your
~ keys in a handbag that's turned labyrinthine
in the dark? Now there's an eco-friendly
m and oh-so-chic solution to both of these
~
§? common problems. Two ecologically and
~ fashion forward-thinking
design houses,
~ Silvr Lining and Diffus, are tackling these
6' issues by integrating solar power cells into
~
their designs.
f
sa:
::j
~
Pocketful
of Sunshine
a:: Ideal for tech savvy dykes on the go,
0
~
Silvr Lining's Go Collection features a variety
I
~
=, of stylish garments including a hip-length
<(
Director's Jacket, a chic top coat, plus, a
sporty hooded Utility Vest and cargo pants.
Handmade and individually cut and sewn,
all the items are made from Ultrasuede-a
plush, animal friendly, ultra-soft and lightweight fabric that is rugged, stain resistant
and easy to wash and dry. But what makes
this line so exceptional is its integration with
technology-each
piece features solar panels
that are powerful enough to charge personal
devices. These independently functioning
solar power supply panels are provided for
the front pockets of the Director's Jacket,
Utility Vest and Myer's Topper, and the side
pockets of the Cargo Pant. Talk about your
pocketful of sunshine. (silvrlining.com)
StylewithSol
This hot little shoulder bag is the perfect
marriage of style and tech. By integrating solar
cells into the embroidery, Diffus has created
a portable power station capable of charging
your mobile phone, or other personal device.
Plus, when in dark surroundings opening the
bag activates optical fibers which light up the
inside of the purse and allow you to find your
keys-which have likely disappeared into the
deepest darkest corner of your bag. Diffus has
been able to achieve this level of power output
and storage by miniaturizing what is currently
the most efficient solar cell material (mono crystalline silicon) into oversized sequins. Who
says technology can't be sexy:' (diffus.dk) ■
September 2011
I 77
REVIEWSFood
Eating In
Simple, nutritious meals from model turned cookbook author Jenice Armstead. By Rachel Shatto
Growing up, good food was not a priority in
Jenice Armstead's home. Fed on a steady diet
of fast food and snacks, nutrition was never a
factor. "Vegetables weren't introduced to me
at a young age. My family nickname is 'Junk'
for a reason. I ate cookies, cake, candy ... It's a
miracle that my teeth are still the way they
are;' jokes Armstead. In fact,
it wasn't until she was an
adult, fresh out of the mili~
tary, that Armstead began
to learn to cook. "When I
first started cooking I was
terrified. I would burn rice,
I would burn noodles, I
would burn hot water. I was
awful:' Today, things are
looking up in the kitchen
of the former military fit~
ness model turned Lesbians
Have to Eat, Too cookbook
author.
Besides being eye~catch~
ing, the book's cheeky title
carries a greater message
for Armstead. "It means
that we're regular people, we
eat regular food and we're concerned about
the same things everyone else is concerned
about:' Chief among Armstead's concerns
is eating healthily, which is why her book is
chock full of beginner~friendly recipes with
a focus on nutritious, low fat and tasty food
that can be adapted to any diet. ''A lot of my
recipes can be made to be meatless or vegan.
I'm not a big fan of bee£ When I found out
that it actually sits in a person's system for up
to 72 hours based on the amount they eat, it
made me a little ill:'
Along with cooking instructions, Armstead
shares stories about the significance of each
recipe in her life. From childhood memories
to the first holiday meal she shared with her
partner, Armstead chose to make Lesbians
Need to Eat, Too part cookbook, part memoir,
which proved challenging for the normally
private writer. "When it comes to sharing
personal stories about my childhood-that
was actually one of my biggest anxieties about
the book;' she says. Ultimately, she was able
to put aside her fears in the hope of better
reaching her audience. "I really wanted to be
able to have a conversation with the reader. I
wanted the reader to feel like they were sitting
down and talking to me over a glass or wine
or a cup of coffee, at the cafe or on their front
porch or in the kitchen:'
Armstead's need to be private stems from
her time spent closeted in the military. "It was
very hard. Me and my partner, that was
the main reason why I got out. I had the
Jaye's Puerto Rican Pernil
This recipe is near and dear to my heart. My partner and I have been together for some years now but there was a time in
our very new relationship when I would not cook, because of lack of self-confidence. For Thanksgiving I wanted to make a
great impression on her so I called my second dad and asked him to reveal his secret recipe. My partner loved the meal!
1 largepieceof porkshoulder
2 largeonions
3 largetablespoonsmincedgarlic
1 cupgrapefruitjuice
1 cuporangejuice
1 cupvinegar
2 tablespoons
seasalt
7 tablespoons
garlicpowder
7 tablespoons
onionpowder
7 tablespoons
oregano
1 largelemon
1 tablespoonparsley(optionalgarnish)
Start with porkshoulderin a medium
dish.Tenderizethe meatwith a small
steakknife.Makesmall nichesin the
meat,insert mincedgarlic.Addgrapefruit
juice,orangejuice andvinegarto the
dish andon top of the meat.Addall other
ingredientsto dishand marinateovernight
in the refrigerator.Thefollowingday,preheatthe ovento 250degrees.Coverwith
aluminumfolderandcookfor 3-4 hours.
Removecoverand let brownfor 30-40
minuteslonger.Serves6-8.
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opportunity to go into an officer's program but
I couldn't do it and be closeted. There was no
way I was going to do it because my partner
is my support mechanism:' Both Armstead
and her partner were in the military but,
despite thier best attempts to be discreet,
they soon found themselves under constant
scrutiny. "We went through a lot of harassment. I promised myself when I got out of the
military I would be as out as possible:'
It was following her honorable discharge
and a short stint working at the FDIC that
Armstead began working on Lesbians Have
to Eat, Too. "I was unemployed and wanted
to be positive about my free time and keep it
really functional, and cooking was my outlet.
My partner suggested that I write some of
my recipes down. It was originally going to be
something for mysel£ like a scrapbook:' Once
completed, Armstead, with the encouragement
of her long-time partner, began shopping
the book around but ultimately opted to
self-publish. "It was an issue of curve that
motivated me, actually. The issue about selfpublished women. I made a vision board and
taped that article to it:'
Never one to sit still for long, Armstead is
already planning her next cookbook in addition to working on her budding photography
business, Simply Beautiful by J.■
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September 2011
I 79
STARS
Fun, Flirty Fall Autumn brings a wealth of romance and opportunities.
By Charlene Lichtenstein
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Love is for sale this September. So if you see a gaudy
little trinket that you simply must possess, expect to
pay for it. But it's also time for heightened sexuality
and a lot of zesty pizzazz in any intimate relationship.
The ecstatic sparks fly and you soar to cloud 9. OK,
some things are evidently worth the cost.
Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
You can charm anyone you want this September-and
you do. This may cause some jealousy in weaker or
shaky relationships but not among those who truly
love and support you. Before the month is over, you
will have a very clear view of who you want to be with
and who you need to drop.
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
SapphicVirgosare
consideredsomewhatcareful
with their money... make
that thrifty... OK,they can be
downrightcheap!Earthsigns
in generalare considered
practicaland conservative
with their dough,but unlike
generousTaurusand
strategicCapricorn,the
lambdaVirgodoesn'thave
the confidenceto spreadher
wad aroundor take great
risks with her seemingly
small sack of loot.Always
concernedaboutbeinga
burdenon othersin her old
age,she carefullycollectsher
penniesthroughouther life
so as to build herselfa soft
cushionfor her later years.
Sometimesit's a couchand
sometimesit's a throw pillow,
but it's all hersso handsoff.
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Turn up your intuitive powers and see if you can
predict the future this September. I bet you can. But
even with your special insight, there will be some sur~
prises afoot, especially at work. Concentrate and plan
carefully before you launch into any new project. Of
course, you can always delegate the most boring stuff
and take a nice long lunch.
Pisces(Feb.20-March20)
Put a little zip in your doodah this September. You
have ample sex appeal and manage to find the right
crowd to appeal to. But your lusty pursuits may cost
more than you think. Keep an eye open to see if you
can find a well~endowed benefactress to help fluff your
pillow. Bathtubs of champagne don't come cheap and
neither should you.
Aries(March21-April20)
If you yearn for independence, you may just get it this
September. Lovergrrls could demand more attention
than you are prepared to give. Or you may have itchy
feet and a wandering eye. Expect surprises no matter
what. Relationships may hit a rough patch but I hear
that lambda Rams sometimes like it rough.
Taurus(April21-May 21)
Secrets around the workplace could get you into trouble
if mishandled but they could also help you solidify
your reputation in the office hierarchy. Strive to be
more than a worker ant. Sapphic Bulls love a little
intrigue, especially when it involves certain co~workers.
Unleash your manipulative skills carefully so you can
easily jockey into a comfortable position.
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
Girlfriends find ways to distract you and get you into
loads of trouble. But not only are you up for a little
excitement, you may even be the instigator. Board the
party train and see who grabs onto your caboose. The
more the merrier ... until the glare of the morning light.
Will she give you cab fare after breakfast or just drop
you off at the bus stop?
Gemini(May22-June21)
Life is one big funfest this September and why not?
You have pounds of personality plus and a proud posse
to prowl with. Don't wait for the invitations to flow
(even though they will). Get started early in the month
planning as many festive events as your dance card will
allow. There is romance behind every corner.
Capricorn(Dec.23-Jan. 20)
Those in power look at you and like what they see.
And why not? You are hard working, ambitious yet
deferential, strategic and deserving of promotion and
praise. In fact, you spend so much time and energy at
work that it may place a strain on certain love relation~
ships. Remember: Balance is everything.
Cancer(June22-July 23)
While you may prefer to stay close to home base
this September, the fates have other plans for you.
Professional obligations take center stage and you are
forced to deal with people in positions of authority
and power. But you will handle them expertly. In fact,
you will have them eating out of your hand.
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Nothing seems more exciting or fulfilling than to spread
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is
theauthorofHerscopes: your wings and explore new terrains this September.
A Guideto Astrology Aqueerians have an urge to get out of town. But don't
for Lesbians
(Simon& be surprised if most of your excitement comes from a
lovely next~door neighbor who comes by to borrow a
Schuster)
(tinyurl.com/HerScopes).
Nowavailableasan ebook. cup of sugar. Fill her cup and then lick her bowl.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
Give your thoughts and ideas the full range to roam.
Proud Lionesses have quite a few pertinent things
on their mind and they are not editing themselves
this September. Now is the time to draw a line in the
sand with you~know~who. Maybe this is a good thing.
Diplomacy be damned. ■
so I curve
curve
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HRIDGESTOnE
Your Journey, Our Passion
Sure, it's just
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Like the Grand Canyon is just a big crack.
I.IRIDGESTOnE
GHUPTOS
on an AmericanExpress®
RewardCard*by mailwhenyoubuya set of foureligibletBridgestone
tires.
Offervalid September1through October1,2011.Forcompletedetailsor the nearestBridgestoneretailer,call 1-877-TIRE
USA.
*OffergoodintheU.S.only.Mail-inclaimformrequired.
Cardcanbeusedvirtuallyanywhere
American
Express®
Cardsarewelcome
intheU.S.(notforonline
purchases);
notredeemable
forcash.Cardissued
inthenamesubmitted
ontherebate
form;cannotbeissued
to minorsandis nottransferable.
UseofCard
constitutes
acknowledgment
thatit is givenasa Reward
Cardandnoconsideration,
valueormoney
hasbeenpaidbytheholderin exchange
forthisCard.
Cardvalidfor 6 months.Remaining
balancesubjectto monthly
feeof $2.00beginning
in 7th month(except
whereprohibited
by law).Termsand
conditions
apply;seeamericanexpress.com/reward
for details.©2011American
Express
TravelRelated
Services
Company,
Inc.tForeligible
tires,seeyourparticipating
Bridgestone
retailer.Eligibletiresmustbe purchased
froma participating
Bridgestone
retailer's
inventory
between
September
1 andOctober
1, 2011.Certainrestrictions
andlimitationsapply.Offerexcludes
Costcopurchases.
Seeyourparticipating
Bridgestone
retaileror bridgestonetire.com
for complete
details.
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