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Description
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ToC Catching Up with Sarah Shahi by Marion Webb (p30): Cover: Who is Ruby Rose? By Jillian Eugenios (p32); Weddings: By Equally Wed edited by Kirsten Ott Palladino (p48): Chill, Baby by Constance Parten (p62); Ultraviolent Femmes by Georgia Krokus and Katherine Wright (p68); Somewhere A Child is Waiting...For You by Rene Rosechild (p38): Lesbian Custody Loss by Stephanie Schroeder (p40); For the Love of Maggie by Shaon Wentworth (p42); Her Siters's Keeper by Merryn Johns (p72): Cover Photo by Carlotta Moye.
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issue
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3
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Date Issued
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April 2011
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol21_No3_April-2011_0CR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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Sarah Shahi
Jodi Picoult
Sick of Sarah
AMAZING
TAILS!
Reallife
animal~
rescue
stories
G
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SPECIAL
FAMILY
REPORT
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APRIL 2011 VOLUME 21 #3
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BRI06ESTORE
Sure, it's just a tire.
Like the Statue of Liberty is just another welcome sign.
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Cardissued
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ontherebate
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andis nottransferable.
UseofCardconstitutes
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,.PASSION
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for EXCELLENCE
Departments APRIL2011
A__._•-
IN EVERY ISSUE
4
6
8
10
17
20
21
22
80
11
18
I curve
Health: Many lesbiansloatheand fear the
gynecologist, but Dr. Lissa Rankin has some
friendly tips on how to improve your relationship with your ob/gyn.
26
Politics
Contributors
Letters
History's dangerous fashions prove that the
politics of the closet extend to what we wear.
Out in Front
Stars
Scene
28
Laugh Track
Why do lesbians love their pets so much?
Lipstick & Dipstick
Top Ten Reasons We Love ...
70
Music: Chosen family, Sick of Sarah, band
together; plus enjoy our monthly reviews.
73
Books: A new series of LGBT books
is designed to support adolescents.
Curvatures
We're spoiling four-legged family
this month with 10 pet goodies.
74
Food: Do you know where your meat
comes from? Meet sustainable butchers,
Lindy & Grundy.
Celebrity Gossip
76
Fi Im: Our picks of lesbian DVD releases
this month.
77
Tech: Organize all your media files
with this neat and nifty box.
Ladies, behave! Well, it wouldn't be
Lesbofile without a few hot messes.
2
24
Editor's Letter
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
-
TRACYCHAPMAN/ KIRSTENVANGSNESS / SANORABERNHARD/
JODIE FOSTER/ ANI DIFRANCO/ MELISSAETHERIDGE/TAMMYLYNN
MICHAELS/ ALEXANDRAHEDISON/ LILYTOMLIN/ KELLYMCGILLIS/
SARAH GILBERT/ JENNY SHIMIZU/ MARTINANAVRATILOVA/MTE
CLINTON/ MICHELLEWOLFF/ CLEA DUVALL/ TEGAN & SARA/ JANE
LYNCH/ K,0, LANG/ JACKIEWARNER/ ANNE HECHE/ MEREDITH
BAXTER/ JANIS IAN/ WE GOT THEM COVERED / ANGELINAJOLIE/
KRISTANNALOKEN/ JOEY LAURENADAMS / TALLULAHBANKHEAD
LAURELHOLLOMAN/ DREW BARRYMORE/ AMANDA BEARSE/
CRYSTALBERNARD/ BILLYJEAN KING/ CHAZ BONO / LOUISE
BROOKS / AMBER HEARD/ OREAOE MATTEO/ CRIS WILLIAMSON/
FERRON/ ALIXDOBKIN/ JOAN JETT/ SUBSCRIBE+ SEE/ CATHY
0EBUONO / MARLENEDIETRICH/ AMANDA DONOHOE / GINA
GERSHON/ LINDAFIORENTINO/ JILL BENNETT/ PEGGYSHAW/
GRETAGARBO / ULRIKEFOLKERTS/ INDIGOGIRLS/ ROSIEJONES
/ LAURENHAYS/ BAI LING/ MELISSAFERRICK/ FRIDAMHLO /
REGINALUND / ROMNNE MICHAELS/ NICOLERAYBURN/ TOSH!
REAGON/ MICHELLERODRIGUEZ/ FIONASHAW/ ALLYSHEEDY/
ALICIASILVERSTONE/IONESKYE/ BARBARASTANVVYCK
/ RACHEL
MA00OW / ELLEN0EGENERES/ PORTIA0EGENERES/ SAFFRON
BURROWS/ FIONASHAW/ SARAH PAULSON/ CHERRYJONES /
LEISHAHAILEY/ HEATHERMATARAZZO/ CYNTHIANIXON/
WANDA SYKES/ RUBY ROSE/ GUINEVERETURNER/ SUZE ORMAN /
CLEMENTINEFORD/ ROSIEO DONNELL/ JILLIANMICHAELS/
BRANDICARLILE/ DEL MARTIN/ WANDA SYKES/ COURTENAYSEMEL
/ BETH DITTO/ DANIELASEA / MARGARETCHO / RACHELROBINSON
/ GRETCHENPHILLIPS/ SUZANNEWESTENHOEFER
/ CHELYWRIGHT
/ PHYLLISLYON/ CURVEMAG.COM / MEGAN FOX/ MTE MOENNIG
/ AMELIEMAURESMO/ BITCH/ AUDRELORD / DORIAROBERTS/
SARAH SHAHI/ SHERYLSWOOPES/ CATIECURTIS/ CHRISTINA
AGUILERA/ LADY GAGA/ OPRAH/ HILLARYCLINTON/ JANE VELEZMITCHELL/ KRISTENSTEWART/ !LENECHAIKEN/ MARGARETHE
CAMMERMEYER/ SAM RONSON/ LINDSAYLOHAN
1
curve
EDITOR'S
NOTE
Familiarity
Breeds Acceptance
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
APRIL 2011
LESBIAN
MAGAZINE
I VOLUME 21 NUMBER 3
Publisher Silke Bader
Founding Publisher Frances Stevens
Lesbians have children and create families,
even though we lack the most basic legal
protections and societal support. We do it
because, for many of us, having children and
giving them a loving environment is, in large
part, what we want out of life. And yet government, the law and the general public would
often prefer not to admit that lesbian families
exist. I loved the film The Kids Are All Right
because it delivers to mainstream movie-goers
a depiction of a lesbian family that operates
just like many other families. This family of two moms and
two kids is a little overworked, underappreciated, underfulfilled, undersexed-and
suddenly under stress when there is
a shift in the status quo. Jules and Nie may not be the poster
couple for lesbian parenting we hoped would hit the multiplexes, but out of the estimated 18,572 couples raising kids
in California, it strikes me that they have their counterparts
everywhere in the Golden State. Happily, in the movie, everything (aside from the infidelity) turns out all right. It is a
comedy, after all.
I wonder if such a happy ending is in the cards for reallife lesbian families. I was startled to learn from the Family
Equality Council (FEC) that 70 percent of same-sex couples
with children live in states that offer them no legal recognition of their relationship. And 54 percent of same-sex couples
raising kids live in states that do not prohibit discrimination
on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation. And in
spite of all the bullying-related deaths we've heard about in
recent years and months, only eight states have safe schools
laws that include sexual orientation and gender identity protections. Clearly, being gay and raising a family is no picnic.
But like the fight for marriage equality, the fight for family
equality is gaining momentum and rolling on, even if behind
the scenes. In this issue, we celebrate many types of family:
Couples, chosen, foster, non-biological, even non-human.
Yes, we have a special pet section this month.
Share this issue with people you love, gay and straight. As
the FEC's Jennifer Chrisler says on page 80, ''As more and
more people get to know us, more people will change their
hearts and minds about our families:'
~.
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Merryn Johns
Managing Editor Rachel Shatto
Associate Editor Jillian Eugenios
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Contributing Editors Diane Anderson-Minshall, Victoria A.
Brownworth, Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
EditorialAssistants Liska Koenig
PUBLISHING
Director of Operations Laura McConnell
Senior Advertising Executive Diana L. Berry
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Jamie Anderson, Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin, Bree
Clarke, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Beren deMotier, Jillian Eugenios,
Michele Fisher, Lauren Marie Fleming, Lisa Gunther, Tania
Hammidi, Kathi lsserman, Gillian Kendall, Kate Lacey, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Ariel MessmanRucker, Alison Peters, Catherine Plato, Aimsel L. Ponti, Heather
Robinson, Laurie K. Schenden, Lori Selke, Janelle Sorenson,
Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Robin Miner-Swartz, Yana Tallon-Hicks,
Jocelyn Voo, Melany Joy-Beck
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Paul Michael Aguilar, Erica Beckman, Brie Childers, Meagan
Cignoli, Cheryl Craig, JD Disalvatore, Tony Donaldson, Sophia
Hantzes, Cheryl Mazak, Maggie Parker, Constance Parten, Elisa
Shebaro, Leslie Van Stelten, Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams,
Misty Winter
PO Box 467
New York, NY 10034
Phone (415) 871-0569 Fax (510) 380-7487
Advertising Sales (415) 692-5420
Subscription Inquiries (818) 286-3102
Advertising Email advertising@curvemag.com
Editorial Email editor@curvemag.com
Letters to the Editor Email letters@curvemag.com
Volume 21 Issue 3 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published monthly (except for bimonthly
January/February and July/August) by Avalon Media, LLC, PO Box 467, New York NY
10034. Subscription price: $49.95/year, $62.95 Canadian (U.S. funds only) and $71.95
international (U.S. funds only). Returned checks will be assessed a $25 surcharge. Periodicals
postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additional mailing offices (USPS 0010-355).
Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part,
without written permission from the publisher. Publication of the name or photograph of any
persons or organizations appearing, advertising or listing in Curve may not be taken as an
indication of the sexual orientation of that individual or group unless specifically stated. Curve
welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE for response.
Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions cannot be
returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope is included. No responsibility is assumed
for loss or damages. The contents do not necessaraly represent the opinions of the editor,
unless specifically stated. All magazines sent discreetly. Subscription Inquiries: Please write
to Curve, Avalon Media LLC., PO Box 467 New York NY 10034, email shop@curvemag.
com. Canadian Agreement Number: 40793029. Postmaster:Send Canadianaddresschangesto
admin@avalonmedia.com.au,
Curve, PO Box 122, Niagara Falls, ON L2E 6S8. Send U.S. address
changes to admin@avalonmedia.com.au,
Curve, PO Box 17138, N. Hollywood, CA 91615-7138.
41
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CONTRIBUTORS
Sandi Esposito
KirstenOttPalladino
is the Editor in Chief of Equally Wed.
com, the nation's premier online same~sex wedding maga~
zine. She and her wife founded the publication after seeing
a void in the market when planning their own nuptials,
which earned them features in The New York Times and
The Advocate, and on CNN, CNN International and
CNN.com. A seasoned writer and editor, Kirsten has
covered everything under the sun from wedding trends
to interviewing the likes of Regina Spektor and Ludacris
to global travel. A playful free spirit with a strong work
ethic., Kirsten celebrates this juxtaposition by doing the
unexpected, such as jumping fully clothed into a lagoon
in St. Lucia, all in the name of journalism. She's equally
as passionate about marriage equality as she is about wed~
ding planning, which she showcases at equallywed.com.
Kirsten and her wife reside in Atlanta, Ga., and are
welcoming twin boys this spring.
Genevieve
P.Charetis a Chicago~based writer, urban home~
steading columnist, and blogger. Her work appears in
national magazines, blogs, and on her mother's refrigerator.
Genevieve grew up in a home where food was love and
both were plentiful. Strong women ruled the roost, an
immaculate house was considered wasteful, waste was
considered sinful, and the resulting free time was spent up
to no good. Not much has changed. Her life philosophy
includes trying everything once, writing what she feels,
feeling what she writes, Tweeting with irreverent abandon,
and not caring when she laughs so loudly that people
look. If she had a dollar for every time someone called her
"mild~mannered;' she'd have a quarter. Live out loud with
Genevieve at genevievecharet.com.
6
I curve
StephanieSchroederis a queer feminist dyke who lives
and works as a freelance writer in Brooklyn. She's been
a Contributing Editor at curve since 2007 and also
writes the Hooked~Up blog for curvemag.com. An avid
traveller, Schroeder is wild about Brighton, England ever
since her trip there last summer (see p.66). "It's so queer
in the broadest sense of the word and I appreciate that
immensely:' You can likely find Schroeder globetrotting
or hiding out at home rewriting her memoir~in~progress.
( stephanieschroeder.tumblr.com)
SandiEsposito
was raised in Long Beach, N.Y, and at the
age of 6 had open heart surgery due to congenital heart
disease. She attended Hofstra University and graduated
with a degree in radio and fine arts. She then married and
lived in New York City with her then~husband, where she
became an active animals rescuer at a high~kill shelter. She
now lives in Connecticut with her partner, Agnes, and
their pit bull, Piglet. She is also an administrator for the
website, thefashionpit.com.
LisaGuntheris a freelance writer and editor living in the
Bay Area. A self~professed pop culture junkie, Lisa was
thrilled to be able to write about her favorite action heroine,
Buffy the Vampire Slayer. "Interviewing Dark Horse editor
Scott Allie was awesome;' she says. ''And writing about
Buffy Season Eight? Let's just say this was probably the
most fun I've ever had with an assignment:' Aside from
curve, Lisa also writes for 57 Degrees Magazine, The
Potrero View and The Castro Courier, and enjoys blog~
ging about her favorite television shows, books and films
at lisasaysonline.com.
Features APRIL2011
30
Catching Up With Sarah Shahi
We loved her as Carmen on The L Word, and,
it turns out, we're dear to Shahi's heart as well.
By Marion Webb
32
Who Is Ruby Rose?
The hot Aussie celesbian has her sights set on
the U.S., and her sizzling fashion label.
By Jillian Eugenios
48
Weddings: By Equally Wed
Where can you get married in the U.S.? What
should you wear? Where's a "lucky" place to
honeymoon? Edited by Kirsten Ott Palladino
62
Chill, Baby
Sweden is oh-so-sophisticated, civilized and
gay, gay, gay, from Stockholm to the Arctic
Circle By Constance Parten
68
Ultraviolent Femmes
Rough, raunchy Roller Derby.
By Georgia Krokus and Katherine Wright
48
Family& Pets
This month we celebrate family, whether
they're the kids you're planning to adopt,
or the fur-kind you're planning to rescue.
38
Somewhere A Child Is
Waiting ... For You
You can have children in your life through
fostering and adoption. By Rene Rosechi/d
40
Lesbian Custody Loss
EquallyWed.com,
the nation'spremiersame-sexwedding
magazine,
deliversa sumptuousSpringspreadof ideasand
informationfor yourceremonyandhoneymoon.
Non-biological moms are losing out.
By Stephanie Schroeder
42
For the Love of Maggie
Natalie Garcia's brush with tragedy has
inspired her to launch a global animal
rescue mission. By Shannon Wentworth
72
Her Sister's Keeper
Best-selling novelist, Jodi Picoult,
goes into bat for lesbian families.
By Merryn Johns
e
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rescue
stories
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page32
COVER
PHOTO
BYCARLOTTA
MOYE
LETTERS
CHELYWRIGHT ANN BANNON SANDRAVALLS MARYGAUTHIER
past issue we checked into the clothing site
Dewberries Boutique that was said to be
how lesbians should dress. This was honestly
laughable. I would love to read an editorial
that lays out the intent of curve magazine
and the intended audience.
-Patti, Farmington, Conn.
Lesbian Looks Like" it's a great inspirationalong with being my favorite part of the
magazine. I have been truly enjoying my
subscription. Please keep up the great maga~
zine. One of my personal goals since I came
out is to be the person in "This Is What a
Lesbian Looks Like:'
-Jennifer Chapin, Laurel, Md.
Love For Beth Robinson
Cover to Cover
I have been a long time subscriber and just
wanted to give a shout out to the new curve
magazine's latest edition. I thoroughly enjoyed
it, cover to cover. Thanks and keep up the
great work.
-Barbara Bastian, Seaside, Calif.
Dyke Drama-less?
What
in the
hasn't
-Lori
happened to Michele Fisher's column
new issue of curve:' Please tell me she
left.
Clements, Fultondale, Ala.
I was disappointed to see, in the first issue
without Frances being at
the helm, Michele Fisher's
hysterical column missing.
Will this be something that is
permanent?
-Beth Capozzi, Denver, Colo.
Editor's Note: Unfortunately,
Michele Fisher declined to continue
with her column. But perhaps, due
to popular demand, she will return!
We'd certainly like her to.
Thank you so very much for the article on
Beth Robinson. I moved to Vermont 9 years
ago with my partner because of
civil unions. Beth Robinson is
our hero! She worked tirelessly
for our civil rights in Vermont.
Beth is an inspiration to many
Vermonters. We are grateful
for your kind words.
-Julie
and Judy Riha]ones,
North Springfield, Va.
Happy About Hannah
Loved your feature on Hannah Neurotica
in Vol. 21#1. Thanks for supporting
Women in Horror!
-Jennifer Cooper via Facebook
Thanks for the Fashion
I have never really bought curve on a regular
basis because it didn't have any fashion in it
and I am not much interested in politics. Now
the magazine has fashion I will be picking it
up from now on. I would also request that
you run articles on beauty, naturopathy,
and how to live a healthier lifestyle in the
city, also recommendations
for budget~
friendly weekends away to spas. I get some
of this information from
other women's magazines
but it would be good if I
could get it from a lesbian
magazine.
-Nicky, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Loving Les
Looks Like
I just wanted to say
that each time I see
the "This Is What a
Poll
How do you feel about
dating a woman with kids?
Dealbreaker,I'm not
33% ready
to bea stepmom
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27%
I'm OKwith it butwe'd
haveto takeit slow
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21%
I loveit, kidsarefun
19% and
I wanta family
I'm leery,I'd really
haveto like her
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to a curvemag.com
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Although the editorial section of
curve is wonderful I continue to wonder
who the magazine is geared toward. My
partner and I are in our late 40s. We find
your magazine lacking in content for us. This
s I curve
<(
~
~LJJ
EMAIL:
letters@curvemag.com • subscribe
FAX:510.380.7487
GOTO:curvemag.com/letters
• renew
• payyourbill
• get missingissues
• changeaddress
• givea gift
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Fun in Fishnets
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Crime, choreography and lesbians in pasties-you bet we're
there! Check out our review of the fun, frisky burlesque-themed
film Fishnet at curvemag.com.
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The Big Easy Bounce
Queer hip hop artist and lesbro Big Freedia gives us an
education on the new, hot and oh-so-gay music scene in
New Orleans. Read the article at curvemag.com.
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She's an Animal
Check out our interview with the always fascinating and
inspiring out lesbian singer/songwriter, and Ani DiFranco
protege, Animal Prufrock.
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Want more family fun? Check out our Gayby Boom, a
weekly blog by lesbian mom extraordinare Beren Demotier
at curvemag.com. From slumber parties to minivan hookups,
she's been there, done that and has the hilarious stories of
her misadventures to prove it.
~
cc
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April 2011
I9
Gayby Gear
Every gayby needs their obligatory "I Love My Two
Mommies" tee-it's iiber cute when you roll it out for
Pride but when it becomes day~to~day wear, let's face it:
weve been there, done that. It's time to step up your kiddo's
fashion game. Fortunately, the DIY clothiers, crafters and
milliners on Etsy.com are creating fierce gay~friendly duds
worthy of your fashion~forward former fetus. Ooh and
aww over five of our favorites-and get inspired to gussy
up your gayby's wardrobe. [RachelShatto]
SMACKDOWN
We'reas gagafor Gagaas
the nextlezziewith ears
anda bootyto shake,but
whenthe Ladyreleased
her latestsingle"BornThis
Way"we did a double-take.
Wecouldn'thelpbut notice
it lookedawfullyfamiliarto
anotherpopprincess'
singlecover:KylieMinogue's
"2 Hearts."Theangle,
the font,the makeup,it's
enoughto makeyougo:
Hmm?So,we're leavingit
upto you.DidLadyGaga
bite Kylie'sstyle?Orhas
this caseof divaduplicity
beengreatlyexaggerated?
Tellus whatyouthink at
letters@curvemag.com.
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1 Three-Piece
Cute
2. BoldBooties
Thisappliqueed
onesieandStriped
KoolKidLegstake
playgroundchicto
a wholenew levelof adorableness.
($8andup,etsy.
com/shop/mamarunswithscissors)
Thesehandcrochetedkicks
areout andproud.
Plus,they keepyour
kiddo'stiny tootsies
toasty.($15,etsy.
com/shop/curiousworkmanship)
3. RetroBonnet
Protectyourcutie
pie's headwith this
'70-inspiredrainbow
bonnet.Madefrom
100percentcotton
andfully reversible,
it's as functionalas
it is adorable!($38,
etsy.com/shop/
urbanbabybonnets)
4. TutuCute
TheRainbowBright
andmatchingheadbandmightbethe
mostpreciousthing
we'veeverseen.It's
all gaybyglamour
all the time.($25,
etsy.com/shop/littledreamersinc)
5. TheLittlestLefty
Hand-stenciled
on a 100percent
cottononesie,by a
lovelylesbian,its
the perfectleft-wing
getupfor yourliberal
babygenius.
($12,etsy.com/shop/
rainbowalternative)
April 2011
I 11
CURVATURES
Fur Baby Finery
10 goodies to spoil, pamper and glam your pet.
One of the best things about owning a pet-besides
the whole love, affection
companionship and special bond stuff-is being able the spoil them rotten. I
mean, who can resist the look on their furry little faces as they light up with
excitement over a new toy, or watching them lounge contentedly in a new bed or
perchr Plus, with so many amazing items out there to thrill, accessorize and pam~
per your furry, scaled or feathered friends, it's just so easy to do. Trust me, we're
experts. So, soup to nuts, whiskers to butts, we've got the lowdown on the goodies
that are sure to please your most precious sidekick. [RachelShatto]
2. Takea Ride
Cartyourcritter aroundin stylewith the adorably
cheekymombus pet carrier.Trickedout wheels
andrhinestoneheadlightswill haveyourfurry
friend ridingin style.Plus,plentyof pocketspace
meansyoudon't haveto cart arounda purse,too.
($90,mommybus.com)
3. LitterBox,Redefined
If you neverthoughtyoucouldget (really)excitedabouta
litter box,thenyou'veneverheardof ModKat.Rooftop access
meansyou'll neverhaveto dealwith litter beingkickedout of
the box.A reusableliner makesfor greatecoandeconomical
sense.Plusits sleekdesigncomesin a varietyof colorsso it
looksgreat,too.We'rein love.($180,modkat.com)
1. LittleMonster
Whosaidonlydogscan playdressup?Handcraftedandvegan-friendly,
theseadorablepet
hatsalsocomein devil,bear,unicornandmore.
($24,etsy.com/shop/xmoonbloom)
4. ExtremeKibble
You'llbe servingbreakfast
with a sideof streetcred
with this upstyledskateboard
petfeeder.Theraisedbowls
helpwith digestionandthe
boardmakesthemlook
goodto their puppybuddies.
Soundslike a win-win. ($75
andup,etsy.com/shop/
SkateDogStudios)
12
I curve
5. BirdsGottaSwim,
FishGottaFly
Thisamazingbird
cagefish tank is
thermoformedin such
a wayas to allowthe
birdsto be on the
sameeyelevelas the
fish. (constanceguisset.com)
6. PurrfectPerch
Giveyourfelinefriendsa roomwith a view.Available
in largeandsmalldesigns,theWavePerchis madeof
eco-friendlymaterials,coveredin softfelt, andis a perfect
spotfor nappingor watchingthe worldgo by.($169,
urbanpethaus.com)
7. Debonair
Doggy
Sure,yourpupis coveredin
fur,but(sadly)can'tgrowa
fantasticmoustache
of his
or herown.Thankfully,
the
Humunga
Stacheservesas
bothfauxfacialhairanda
chewtoy,whichis howthe
magichappens.Now,if only
theymadea monocle.
($12,
moodypet.com)
10.PreventLittering
Biddingadieuto that stinky litterboxfor goodmay
soundimplausible,but it can be donewith some
patienceandthe Litter Kwitter.Its set of three gradually
largerseat insertswill haveyour kitty usingthe people
potty in two months'time. ($60,litterkwitter.com)
8. Butchit Up
Nothingsayskick-asspooch
like a leatherspikedcollarevenif it's in bubblegum
pink-with matchingleash.
Alsoavailablein red,blueand
purple.(platinumpetsusa.com)
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9. CozyCritter
Hand-madefrom soft, washablefleece, the PetCosyis
a perfectlycute (andwarm)
hideoutfor yourfurry friend.
Severalstylesare available,
includinga polarbear(pictured),alligatorand evena
narwhal.($45,etsy.com/shop/
rikarika)
CURVATURES
the rundown
Present Prank
Give a fellow animal lover the gift of laughter by packing their
presents in this faux pet accessory box from the delightfully
twisted Prank Packs. The "Pet Petter" isn't real-we'd hate
to think anyone would want something that boasts "never
touch your pets again!"-but
its laugh-out-loud packaging
nails the "as seen on TV" product presentation so well you'll
have its recipient thinking otherwise. Just make sure you put
something good inside; the "six de-flea pads" do actually
sound pretty appealing. ($8, prankpack.com) [RachelShatto]
14
I curve
The Connecticut
Supreme
Courthas ruled that couples
who enter into surrogacy agreements will now be
considered the legal parents of the child regardless
of genetic connections. Previously, the non~genetic
parents were forced to go through adoption proceed~
ings after the child's birth. Now couples in the state
can establish legal parenthood pre~birth via an order
by the superior court of Connecticut ... A new study
ofTexasat Austinfound that the
by the University
men were more likely to forgive a lesbian affair than
women were to forgive a gay affair with another man:
50% of the men said they
would stick with a partner
who had a lesbian affair,
while only 21 % said they
would stay if she had
an affair with a man ...
Country star ChelyWright
told lesbian website Autostraddle that she has received
regular death threats since coming out in May 2010.
Adding that her record sales "went directly in half"
and that many artist friends in
Nashville stopped contacting her ...
,,,,r
school district
The Anoka-Hennepin
• _,
!,
has agreed to allow
in Minnesota
\
,·
Sheltonand
lesbian students Desiree
SarahLindstrom
to walk together at
the Snow Days Pep Fest. The stu~
dents, represented by TheSouthern
Poverty
LawCenter,sued the district
after the administration told the teens that they could
not walk together as "royalty:' Settling the issue in
mediation, the new policy states that students will be
permitted to walk with "a meaningful person in their
life:: .. BarbaraBush,one of former President George
W.Bush's
twin daughters has come out in support of
marriage equality. In partnership with the Human
Rights Campaign she has released a PSA saying, 'Tm
Barbara Bush, and I'm a New Yorker for marriage
equality:• She goes on to say,
"New York is about fairness
and equality, and everyone
should have the right to
marry the person that they
love.Join us:' Her mother,
LauraBush,has also spoken
took second
out in favor of marriage equality ... GLSEN
nonprofit grant contest.
place in the PepsiRefresh
The organization won $250,000 for their SafeSpace
campaign, which fights antigay bullying in schools.
GLSEN will use this funding to provide support for
LGBT students in 10,000 schools around the country.
[Sassafras
Lowrey]
'
HONORARY
LIFETIME
LESBIAN
EMBERS
HIP
OUTINFRONT
Challenging
the Standard
Two women shed light on
overlooked LGBT groups.
By Sheryl Kay
z
~
~
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SovietUn-blocked
Coming out can be difficult in Kyrgyzstan, says
AnnaKirey.Families in this small independent
Turkic state-once part of the Soviet Unionare slow to accept their lesbian daughters, and
sometimes inflict physical abuse and psycho~
logical damage in an effort to "change"them.
"We know of cases of beatings, rape, house
arrest, disowning and kicking [children] out
of the house;' says Kirey, a 31 ~year~oldactivist
who was raised there. "We live our lives some~
what quietly:' Kirey herself, though, has done
anything but live her life in silence.
At 16, Kirey was an exchange student in
America, where she got her first taste of social
justice, read her first book about lesbian women
and fell in love with her first girlfriend. Feeling
empowered she returned to Kyrgyzstan and in
2004 helped found Labrys, the leading LGBT
advocacy group in her country.
Labrys addresses a wide variety of issues,
including education, health and legal initia~
tives, both in Kyrgyzstan and in other parts
of Europe and Asia. Now the senior advisor
and chair of the board, responsible for research,
international advocacy and fundraising, Kirey's
done it all-from
working on legislative
agendas to making late~night visits to the police
station to help those arrested for LGBT~
related "offenses:'
Today, Kirey finds herself back in the U.S.,
where she has received a merit assistant~
ship from the University of North Carolina
at Chapel Hill and is doing coursework in
Russian, Eurasian and East European studies
with a focus on gender, sexuality and history.
"I really want to make academic texts
more accessible to activists and activists more
interested in research and cooperation with
universities;' she says. "The more I dive into
academia, the more I realize how much his~
tory and social context matter in addressing
injustices. My contribution .. .is learning more
about my post~Soviet region, its history and
culture, in order to find culturally sensitive
ways to get LGBT rights on the government
agenda and to become part of the human
rights discourse:'
ElderAdvocacy
SerenaWorthington's
career in activism began
through art. Having spent several years as an
art therapist, she was building a successful
treatment program for seniors at a nursing
home in Chicago when she was asked how
the facility could be improved. Worthington
immediately thought to increase attention to
and programming for the LGBT population.
"I realized that there were LGBT residents
in nursing homes all over the country, and
some were most likely living in isolation-or
worse, experiencing discrimination, neglect
and even abuse;' she says. "Then I searched
the Internet and discovered, to my surprise,
a whole LGBT aging field:'
One educational conference later, she
landed a job at the Center on Halsted,
Chicago's LGBT community center, as the
founding director of the SAGE program
(Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders).
During her tenure, the SAGE program grew
from about four programs a month to 40,
and the number of elders taking advantage
of its services grew to over 125 a week.
While there, Worthington also learned
that many lesbians experience a lifetime of
discrimination. In turn, she helped create
comprehensive programs that addressed
those challenges in substantial ways, through
job training, access to benefits, managed care
for chronic health conditions, and estate and
health~care planning.
Today, Worthington is director of Comm~
unity Advocacy and Capacity Building at
SAGE's headquarters in N.Y.C. Given our
demographics-the
composition of our
society-Worthington sees much work ahead.
''As the Baby Boomer generation enters
the next decades, this country will become
increasingly older, and that will include the
first generation of [openly out] LGBT people;'
she observes. "We have an important oppor~
tunity, with the upcoming reauthorization
of the Older Americans Act, to ensure that
LGBT older adults are explicitly recognized
by the federal government as a community in
vital need of services and support:' ■
April 2011
I 17
LESBOFILE
Making Waves With rivalry, felonies, a new gayby and a new not-so-blind item,
we've got April's Sapphic scuttlebutt. By Jocelyn Voo
I
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GaybyAlert!
Congratulations to CynthiaNixonand fiancee
Christine Marinoni, who are now the proud
parents of son Max Ellington. This is the first
child for Marinoni, who gave birth to Max
on Feb. 7, 2011. But lucky number three for
Nixon who has two children, Samantha, 15,
and Charles, 8, from her previous relation~
ship with teacher Danny Mozes.
RatedR
Good girl gone bad, indeed. Out model and
businesswoman Natajah'Tajah'Burtonis set to
release a tell~all book about gay Hollywood,
and rumor is that the "Barbadian pop R&B
artist" she's hinting about hooking up with is
none other than super star, Rihanna.
"We hit it off and it became sexual. It
became really intense;' Burton told Radar
Online "It started off as friends. I didn't even
know she was into women:'
Of course, this is about as generic a phrasing
as anyone could get-but
then again, how
many "Barbadian pop R&B artists" do you
know? (Not that we're complaining.)
The author claims her motivation for pub~
lishing the dirt is to uphold the principle, not
to air dirty laundry: 'Tm not going to say
that she's a lesbian. I'm not trying to force her
to come out ... but I am bringing this to the
18
I curve
forefront because it needs to be discussed:'
Of course. Just like how Lesbofile is all
about the greater good, not for entertain~
ment's sake.
Beg,Borrowor Steal
Just when we were thinking Lindsay Lohan
might actually be able to get away with mur~
der (four-count 'em, four mug shots since
2007!), it looks like the long arm of the law
may have caught up with the troubled actor,
who now faces the possibility of some serious
jail time.
Lohan, who's currently on probation, alleges
that the Venice, Calif., jewelry store Kamofie
& Company loaned her a $2,500 necklace. The
jewelry store maintains she stole it. Charged
with felony grand theft, Lohan could be sen~
tenced to up to three years in state prison if
found guilty. Who's with us when we say, the
girl's personal dramas are way to engaging to
look away?
after the post~Super Bowl episode aired. In
the spot, Sylvester was being interviewed by
Katie Courie (playing herself), and in typical
fashion, Sylvester closed the interview with a
declaration aimed at Sawyer, that kicked off
the Twitter faux smack down:
f-
F'.
~
~
~
~
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~
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- --'""-I
I
That'sHowSueSeesIt
You watch your mouth, DianeSawyer-Sue
Sylvester
is taking no prisoners. Sylvester, the
fictional, hilariously sharp~mouthed cheer~
leading coach played by Jane Lynchon the
hit show Glee,is now embroiled in a playful
T witter~battle with the TV news anchor
As all the Gleeksout there
can attest, you dont mess with
Sue. Here's to hoping there's
more where this came from. ■
(fJ
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She Said
STARS
April Power
This month is full of fun and mischief.
By Charlene Lichtenstein
Aries(March21-April 20)
Lambda Rams are full of exuberant energy. Let loose
and run with the bulls. Find opportunities to expand
your influence with important folks. You might not
make the best first impression but don't worry. If you
fail to impress, then press and press again.
Taurus(April21-May 21)
Some folks are talking behind your back but you might
like what they have to say. Mysterious sapphic Bulls
have a lot going on under the surface, from keeping a
good secret to maneuvering behind the scenes in corpo~
rate politics. Stay above the fray-at least for now.
Gemini(May22-June 21)
Don't sit at home and wait for the phone to ring. April
is the month to get out and about. Twins are able to
Aries(March21-April 20)
open the door and enter any exclusive group. Jump in
Thereis no moreinspirational
friendthan anAriesdyke. and get involved in a full range of social activities. You
Shewill alwaysbethere can expand your social circle into a globe.
to givea bosombuddya
strongshoulderfor support Cancer(June22-July 23)
andan affirmingwordof Be careful of what you say to the big bosses. If you
encouragement.
Hersis an can be diplomatic and ingratiating, you could snow
open,unfetteredfriendship them and win them over. Plot and plan, sister. There is
basedon mutualrespect, plenty of time to throw the bums out when you have
honestyandloyalty.Needto achieved your ultimate goal. In the meantime, listen
movea housefull of furniture? carefully around the water cooler and drink it all in.
Carwon't start?Gettingovera
painfulbreakup?CallanAries.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
She'llapplythe musclewhere
Travel and expand your horizons in April. Proud
necessaryandget yourmind
off emotionalmindgames Lionesses can make their mark and become interna~
with strenuouslyfun tionally known. If you are planning your great escape,
outdooractivities. check your packing list twice. Luggage has a way of
going astray. But you weren't planning on wearing any
clothes on your vacation anyway, right:'
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Is it your perfume:' Is it your dazzling looks:' Why ask
why, Virgo:' Whatever it is, there are suddenly many
lovelies vying for your attention and affection. This
will be a lavishly expensive, unforgettable month. You
are bursting with confidence, sizzling hot and ready.
Are your eyes becoming too big for your stomach:'
Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
Are your personal relationships giving you what you
need:' If so, enjoy them to the fullest. If not, figure out
the flaws and fix them. If you are on the prowl, you
20
I curve
find opportunities to showcase your assorted charms
to a new and highly exclusive circle of so~and~sos. Hey,
one at a time flirty Libra!
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Do you like how you look in the mirror:' If you can
improve on perfection, do it now. Start a new exercise
regime, revamp your diet and improve your overall
health and well~being. Even a small effort produces
dazzling results that will wow the ladies and move you
into the center of the action. Swimsuit season is not
far away and swimsuits are often optional.
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
If April is remembered for anything it will be for fun,
creative outlets and maybe a dirty flirty romance.
Sagittarians are footloose and fancy free but that
doesn't mean that you need to go solo to make your
point. Find a party or three to crash and see who is
hanging out by the bar. There may be a tall cool one in
your future. Will you be shaken or stirred:'
Capricorn(Dec.23-Jan. 20)
Find excuses to kick back and entertain more at home.
Not only are you more domestically inclined with an
urge to cook, you also develop a keen eye for home
design. Gather your gal pals together-whether
it's
for a lavish dinner party or for just moving some fur~
niture around or maybe a combination ofboth:1
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb. 19)
Aqueerians seem to know just what to say to sway a
girl's mind. You have the gift of gab. Open wide. Don't
hold back your thoughts or desires. Explore your
neighborhood for treasures and rare finds. Some of
your more perceptive observations can be used to
further a pet cause or gain the affection of a recalcitrant
lover. And how lovely is that:'
Pisces(Feb.20-March 20)
If money has been a challenge and a worry, worry less
this April when some of your calculated risks could
pay of£ But even if you score big and break the bank,
don't spend it all in one place. It is a smart Guppie who
banks her dough and lets it rise for future eats. ■
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is theauthorof Herscopes:
A
Guideto Astrology
for Lesbians
(Simon& Schuster)
(tinyurl.com/HerScopes)
-
SCENE
Celebrating Equality Kicking off the LGBT award
season with music, mountains and Minnesota. By Merryn Johns
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GLAAD
HonorsKristinChenoweth
It's the biggest LGBT gala of the year! Join Special Honoree
KristinChenoweth
(1) at the GLAAD Media Awards, presented by
ROKK Vodka, on April 10 in L.A. at the Westin Bonaventure.
Special guests include Amber Heard and cast members from
Grey'sAnatomy and Modern Family.The evening includes auction,
dinner, Awards show and after~party to benefit GLAAD.
Nominees include The Kids Are All Right, Rachel Maddow
and Pretty Little Liars. Save the date for the final event in San
Francisco on May 14. (glaad.org/MediaAwards)
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AFERConcert
Elton John performed an exclusive concert on Jan. 19 at Green
Acres Estate, Beverly Hills. The proceeds, over $3 million, benefited
the American Foundation for Equal Rights (afer.org), the sole
sponsor of the federal court challenge to California's Prop. 8.
Pictured are LaraEmbryandJaneLynch(2); SandyStier(left)and
KrisPerry(3) on the red carpet.
TheaGillat TwinCitiesHRC
On Jan. 16 in St. Paul, Minn., The Human Rights Campaign
presented Her HRC Twin Cities: One Weekend. One Cele~
bration. For Women. The evening featured cabaret, light bur~
lesque and a special guest appearance by Queer As Folk'sTheaGill
(5). ( twincities.hrc.org)
LesbianAdventurerTopsKilimanjaro
On Jan. 15, Equality California Institute
board member Jody Cole climbed Mt.
Kilimanjaro in Tanzania to raise $19,340
for Equality California's fight for LGBT
equality. Cole, of Wild Rainbow Safaris,
achieved the summit at 19,340 feet and
returned home safely.
FamilyEqualityCouncil
On Jan. 29 at their seventh annual awards dinner in L.A., the
Family Equality Council honored several individuals who helped
enhance the rights of LGBT families in 2010, including Kris
Perry and Sandy Stier, plaintiffs in the Prop. 8 case. Also in
attendance were executive director of FEC JenniferChrisler
(left)
andJaneLynch(4). (familyequality.org).
■
April 2011
I 21
Titillating Long-Distance Tango
If she's not the one, it's time to make a
(kick ball) change. By Lipstick and Dipstick
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: My girlfriend, Tasha, and I have been dating
it will pass.Sheis sucha greatpartner-I can
talk to her aboutanything.Howmanywomen
for nine months. We live an hour apart and talk on the phone constantly.
cancomehomeandtelltheirwivesoverdinner
She's the greatest girlfriend I've ever had, yet I still feel insecure because that they want to be with a man-and have
when it comes to some of the most basic forms of intimacy, she shies them just giggleand say, "So that's what's
beenwrongwithyou."Sheis22yearsolder,and
away. I haven't said a word, but after nine months should I ask her about
it's startingto botherme.I've beenwith other
it? We've only tried to tango once before, but she quickly pulled away.
women,but thoserelationships
didn't last. I
was
with
my
ex-husband
for
two
years,thenI
- Flustered on the Phone
datedanotherguyforfiveyears-the fatherof
my baby.So my relationship
statuswith both
Lipstick:Anytime you ask yourself (or your DearLipstickandDipstick:
I'm at a crossroads sexesis notgreat.I am in a muchbetterplace
favorite advice columnists), should I talk to in my life and marriage.My wife, Julie,and I with JuliethanI've everbeenin my life. I am
my girlfriend about an issue we're having? have beentogetherfor four years.I have a happymostof thetime.Shedoesgetundermy
the answer will always be a resounding "yes:' daughter,who was very youngwhenwe got skinat times,but I guesseveryrelationship
is
soJulie'sbeena parentto herall her thatway.I'm sureI getunderherskinaswell.I
In this particular case, it comes with a slap on together,
the butt from Lipstick and additional advice life. I am turning30 soonand suddenlyI feel amsotiredof fightingandnotlikinghermuch.
to be witha woman,but WhatshouldI do?-Crossroads
Casey
using a dance metaphor (I'm following your like I'm notsupposed
I'm actuallysupposed
to bewitha man.I don't
lead). First, sashay over to her house-kick
ball change-then dip Tasha back and shake reallyhavea reasonwhyI feelthisway-other Lipstick:The truth is, CC, your quandary has
thanI'm notsureif I wantto be with my wife nothing to do with your G~Spot and every~
that tongue.
anymore.
I don'twanttojumpoffthecliffif this thing to do with a little thing called happiness.
whichiswhat My gut tells me you've never been truly happy
Dipstick:
Flustered, what do you mean "basic isjusta phaseI'm goingthrough,
forms of intimacy?" Does she not cuddle? mywifesays.Shesaysto "waitit out"because with anyone, and you're desperately searching
Won't change her Facebook status? Is afraid
to let her fingers do the talking? You say she
is the best girlfriend you've ever had, yet she
leaves you longing for more. What the hell
are you doing on the phone for hours if you
"haven't said a word"? Since Lipstick started
with the dance metaphors, I'll add one: It
takes two to tango. You need to open up
about your feelings and let her follow your
lead. Talking and communicating are not
the same things. Just because she's the best
you've ever had doesn't necessarily mean she's
the best thing for you. Our truest loves don't
leave us insecure. They help us feel like we
can conquer anything. They leave us feeling
complete. They push us to grow and be bet~
ter human beings. They waltz around the
kitchen with us while we're making dinner.
ex:
w
They talk about the good stuff and the hard
:,,:'.
ex:
stuff. Physical distance can be tough on any
ct
w
ci
relationship, and good communication skills
CJ
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~
are mandatory. Speak!
22
I curve
Lipstick & Dipstick ADVICE
What the hell
for the slice of heaven that the
great poets write about. Want
to know a secret? Happiness
comes from within. Get your
butt into therapy, open up and
have a look inside. Is the light
on? As Ralph Waldo Emerson
wrote, "Nothing can bring you
happiness but yourself' Start
there, CC.
are you talking
move and sleeping with
"the donor:' If there's one
thing Lipstick is right
about, it's that therapy
would probably help. If
you're unhappy in your
current relationship, there
could be any number of
things going on. Maybe
you're not a lesbian, after
all. Maybe someone your
mom's age isn't doing it for you anymore.
Maybe you have seasonal affective disorder
and need to move to San Diego. Looking at
this shit isn't easy, so I applaud you for that.
It's important-not
only for you, but so you
can be a good role model for your daughter.
but wheredo I begin?I'm 20. Is a prostitute
unreasonable?-Hot
Dykein the City
about on the
phonefor hours
Dipstick:Well, that depends on what your
budget is.
if you "haven't
Lipstick:And how hot she is.
said a word"?
Dipstick:And what services you're willing to
pay for.
Dipstick:Give me a break, Lipstick-this
girl is only 30 years old. Two, four and five~
year relationships are what's to be expected.
There's no relationship failure. Let's talk
not just about the gender of your lover, but
her age-22 years is quite a gap. No wonder
you're questioning. Kudos for talking to Julie,
rather than pulling a The Kids Are All Right
Lipstick:
You know, on second thought, don't go
the street route. It will be way more fun, mem~
orable and instructive to simply find another
young dyke and pop those cherries together. ■
Tune in to curvemag.com/lipstickanddipstick@
to watchthe The Lipstick& DipstickShow. _
DearLipstick
andDipstick:
I wantto bea lesbian, Or,writeto tv@lipstickdipstick.com.
-••
April 2011
I 23
ADVICE Health
The Vagina Dialogues
Don't be shy. Discuss these nine topics with your gyno.
By Merryn Johns
Most of us dread a trip to the gynecologist,
and with good reason. When it comes to
women's bodies-especially lesbian and queer
bodies-doctors
can often seem insensitive
uneducated, if not outright homophobic.
But now, California ob-gyn Dr. Lissa
Rankin has written a book that can help all
of us start to redefine our relationship with
the gynecologist. What '.s Up Down There?:
Questions You'd Only Ask Your Gynecologist
lf She Was Your Best Friend is based on the
premise that there's nothing about your body
you can't discuss with your gynecologist-just
imagine she's your best girlfriend and you're
chatting about Pap tests over pin.a coladas.
Inspired to write the book after spending
an evening sharing sexual stories with other
women, Dr. Rankin realized that she "wanted
women to have these intimate conversations
with each other as a form of healing:' Here,
she shares the essential steps to starting a
relaxed, healthy relationship with your gyno,
and your girly bits.
violence. We've had abortions. We've had
painful sexual and medical experiences. So,
having that speculum put inside you may
trigger all of those emotions, those past
memories that have not been dealt with.
Because talkingabout the vagina is rare.
When we don't talk about the things that
happened in our vaginas, in my experience,
they manifest: Infertility, eating disorders,
1. Askyourgynoabouttheexamprocess.
Even depression are physical manifestations of
gynecologists
havehadbadexperiences
at the things that need to be released and healed:'
gynecologist's
office.
"The introduction to the gynecologist's office 3. Don'tbe misinformed-OK,
clueless-about
yourvagina.
is often a very traumatic one. I remember
"One of the things that continue to amaze
mine. I was 17 years old. I wanted to be premed, so I thought, Great, I'll
me is the number of people who genuinely
think that the vagina might connect to some
get to meet a nice ob-gyn
and she'll be my mentordeeper, bigger structure-like
the vagina
might connect to the lung! One of the most
but she was just god-awful. I
remember her literally prying
common things that I found, in a busy clinical
my knees apart, physically, practice, was people coming in because they
and when I wasn't cooperating
had lost something in their vagina. I had this
she threw off her gloves and
one woman who came in because she had
slammed out of the room,
lost her tampon, so she went after it with
and I remember thinking,
a pair of pliers. She then grabbed her cervix,
thinking it was her tampon, and tried to yank
Oh my God, she's going to
her cervix out. She put this huge laceration
put a giant F on my chart,
like Bad Patient-she's going in her cervix and had to go to surgery:'
to tell my father. Finally, the
4. Untilmenhaveto endurePapsmears,it'sunnurse comes in to find me
likelythatthe equipment
will improve.
Butask
sobbing, but I agree to open
yourgynoto warmthespeculum.
my legs. The gynecologist
"It sure would be nice if we could stick
comes back in, but she's so
something inside the vagina and collect
irritated by this point that
:-.«iuitllJ.
the samples that we need without the scary
she just grabs that speculum
metal duckbill, but there is no easy way to
and jams it in me like she
do that, yet:'
was fencing. It was awful. So
many of us have stories that
5.Lesbians
feeljudgedbytheirdoctors,
butdocstart that way, and part of it
feeljudged,too.Builda bridge.
is that the medical system is torssometimes
broken:'
"When I was at the Gay & Lesbian Center
in San Diego for a Q&A, it was heart2. Speakup for yourvagina. breaking to me when women started telling
Keepingits historysilentmay horror stories about the judgment they felt
createlargerhealthissues.
from their doctors. It's just tragic that people
''As women we carry so many
would feel that their access to health care
traumas in our pelvis. We've
is impeded because they feel judged. I have
been molested, raped. We've
been on the other side of that, and I learned
been victims of domestic
my lesson the hard way. I was a brand-new
gynecologist and this woman came in, and I
asked her if she was sexually active, and what
she was using for birth control, and she
said, 'Nothing: And I said, 'Great, so you're
trying to get pregnant; and she said, 'No:
This went on for a while and then finally
she said, 'Dr. Rankin, I'm a lesbian: I was
so embarrassed that I hadn't approached it
that way, so I have since changed the way I
ask that question. Now I ask it straight up,
from the beginning:'
your periodr what is vaginal discharge made
ofr do little old ladies still have sexr-were
real questions that I got from people in my
Internet community, and many of the ques~
tions I was asked I didn't know the answer
to-they
certainly weren't anything they
taught me in medical school-like, why do
we have pubic hairr So, I interviewed the
experts. For example, for a question about
clitoral piercing I went to Elayne Angel,
who wrote The Piercing Bible. For questions
about the G~Spot and female ejaculation I
interviewed Dr. Beverly Whipple, who has
dedicated her life to scientifically document~
ing the sexual experiences that women say
they've had but that the medical community
dismisses:'
you call it-you can call it Rebecca for all I
care-as long as people are talking about it.
We must teach our children about sex ed,
because they might put a potato in their vagina
as birth control:'
9. Learnhow to choosea goodgynecologist,
anddon'tbeafraidto moveonif yourneedsare
notbeingmet.
"Sadly, these days more and more, you get
what you pay for. I spend an hour with my
patients. But if it's an insurance~based prac~
6. Gold-star
lesbians:
Evenif youhaveneverhad
tice, the doctor may not have that time. If
sexwitha man,or witha womanwhohashad
you have to wait longer than 30 minutes,
sexwitha man,youstillneeda Paptest.
in my opinion, find a new doctor. They're
"The human papillomavirus can be spread
booking too many patients, just to make
vulva to vulva, and it can easily be transmitted
money, and that, to me, is not a sign of a
if you are sharing sex toys. HPV, the herpes
good doctor. Come up with a few questions
8. Havea senseof humor.Yourgynecologist that are personal to you that you can ask
virus, pubic lice, molluscum contagiosum
probably
does.
[a viral infection of the mucous glands] can
them, or say, Tm a lesbian. I'd like to talk
all be transmitted just from vulva~to~vulva "I specificallywrote the book to be a bit irrever~ about my sex life, is that OKr' And if they
ent. If you want dry, reverent, medical~type
contact-or
from oral sex, for some of them.
squirm-how
somebody reacts to that, I
Absolutely, lesbians need gynecological visits, books about vaginas, they are out there.
think, would be very telling. I don't think
There's a great book called The V Book. But
just like other women:'
lesbians should feel any different about going
I specifically did not want this book to be
to the gynecologist than anybody else, because
7. Nomatterhowstupidyouthinkthequestion clinical, and I've had a few people come down
all of us deserve to have our bodies treated
is,don'tbeafraidto ask.
on me for all the euphemisms I use: 'Come
with respect, with love. I often say I prac~
''All the questions I answer in my book-for
on, you're a doctor, why are you calling it a
tice love, with a little medicine on the side:'
example, is it unusual to crave sex during
"coochie"r' My opinion is, I don't care what
(owningpink.com)■
WHAT A BAD PERIOD MAY MEAN
Five common symptoms of
Pcos.
Irregularperiods,weightgainandacne.For
(DHT)attacksthe hairfolliclescausingthinning
Highlevelsof excessinsulinthat oftenoccur
10-15 percentof womenbetween12 and
with PCOS
canstimulatethe ovariesto produce hair,or malepatternbalding.
45 yearsthereis anothercause:Polycystic
4. SkinProblems
arecausedbythe hormonal
largeamountsof testosterone,
whichcan
OvarianSyndrome(PCOS).
Oftenmisdiagpreventovulation,thuscausingirregularcycles imbalanceof elevatedandrogensandDHTthat
nosed,PCOSis the mostcommonendocrine
mayoverstimulate
oil glandsin the skin,setting
andeveninfertility.
disorderin womenof childbearingageand
the stagefor skinconditionssuchas acnealong
2. Infertility.
Theirregularmenstrualcycles
accordingto the PolycysticOvarianSyndrome andovulationpatternsin womenwith PCOS
thejaw lineor onthe back.Otherskin problems
Association,PCOSis "a hormonaldisorder
includeskintagsor darkening(acanthosis
nigcausemanyto be unableconceivenaturally.
that involvesmultipleorgansystemswithin
Eachmenstrualcyclepromptsa woman'seggs ricans)particularlyon neck,armpitsandgroin.
the body,andis believedto befundamentally to growinsidesacswithinthe ovaries.Asthese
5. CentralObesity
or RapidWeightGain.
causedby insensitivityto the hormoneinsulin." mature,oneeggshouldbe releasedat ovulation Insulinis the hormonethat allowsglucoseto
butfor somewomenwith PCOS,
hormonalimbal- movefromthe bloodstream
Whilethereis currentlyno curefor PCOS,
it
intothe cellswhere
it is usedfor fuel.Whenwe eatsugaryfoodsor
can be managedthroughdiet,exerciseand
ancesinhibitthe development
of a dominant
medicalintervention.Somewomenwith man- folliclesothat all eggsmatureandno dominant refinedcarbsour insulinproductionsurgesto
agedPCOS
are amongthe healthiestwithin
eggis released.Theremainingeggspersistas
keepthe bloodsugarlevelin optimalrange.If
the populationbecauseof lifestylechoices.
cyststhat produceandrogens(malehormones), we continuallyeatthis way,cellsdecreasetheir
Dr.AndreaLee,a naturopathicdoctorin South
upsettinghormonalbalance.
reactivity.Overtime glucoseis unableto enter
Floridawhereshetreatsa numberof women
the cells,leadingto elevatedbloodsugars,
3. Excessive
HairGrowthor MalePattern
with PCOS,
hopesto spreadawarenessabout
carbohydrate
cravings,fatigue,weightgainand
as
Baldingoftenoccursin womenwith PCOS
PCOSby sharingits five majorindicators:
moodimbalances,
experienced
by manywomen
highandrogenlevelsleadto stimulationof the
hairfolliclescausinga hirsutismor thickerhair
with PCOS.
1. IrregularPeriods
andheavyperiodsmaybe
growthonthe back,face,neck,arms,legsand
If thesesymptomssoundfamiliarseeyour
pubicarea.Theoppositeis truefor the hairson
seenin womenwith PCOS,
resultingfromthe
physician.TolearnmoreaboutPCOS
visit
the head,as elevatedlevelsof a potenttestosinabilityof the ovariesto producehormonal
[AshGoddard]
levelsrequiredfor a normalmenstrualpattern. teronemetaboliteknownas dihydrotestosterone pcosupport.org.
April 2011
I 25
POLITICS
Dangerous Fashion
The politics of the closet extend to what we wear. By Victoria A. Brownworth
We are what we wear. Or so says PETA
(People for the Ethical Treatment
of
Animals), when it demonizes the wearing
of fur or the use of other animal products
for clothing. (PETA couldn't have predicted
Lady Gaga's meat dress, but then who could
have?) And we are what we wear in other
ways as well.
For centuries, just as we have been defined
and judged by our clothing, or lack thereof,
we have also suffered for fashion, which has
sometimes proved fatal, and even today garments can be used as symbols of oppression.
From ancient Egypt to the courts of 16th
and 17th century France, women have used
26
I curve
cosmetics whose white foundation is full of
lead. Those infamous kohl-rimmed eyes had
deadly components. And in Rome, the use
of lead-infused makeup was so popularand so dangerous-that
some historians
think it precipitated the fall of the Empire;
too much lead caused insanity and other
mental disorders.
Hair dyes and hairdos are also historical
culprits. The dyes caused kidney and liver
failure. (Jean Harlow, the famous 1930s
platinum-blond movie star, was thought to
have died of kidney necrosis due to her use
of lead- and mercury-based hair dyes.) The
towering hair of the 18th century French
court needed to be styled so high-and even
included additional complicated tableauxthat the weight dislocated and even crushed
discs in women's necks.
And then there was the corset, which created
the infamous wasp waist. It caused tremendous
damage to women's bodies. While corseted,
women could only take shallow breaths. If a
woman's central nervous system was agitated
at all-by excitement or anger-the normal
autonomic response would cause her to faint,
because she could not take a deep breath to
counteract the rise in her blood pressure
and heart rate. The wasp waist had other
deadly side effects. Because corsets literally
~
~
1iS
z
'."i
modified a woman's body structure, internal
organs other than the lungs were impacted.
Diaphragms sometimes ruptured and intes~
tines were compressed, causing hernias and
leading to necrosis.
Foot~binding, one of the most horrific
customs ever to befall women, was practiced
in China from the 10th through the first half
of the 20th century. During 1,000 years of
torture, the feet of an estimated 2 billion
young girls between the ages of 3 and 7 were
crushed to conform to the ideal three~inch
lotus blossom shape.
In China, there are still elderly women
with bound feet, though they are among the
last. The Chinese Communist regime abol~
ished the practice in 1949.
However, repressive clothing is far from
ancient history. While few would call the
burqa a fashion it is perhaps the most potent
contemporary example of how garments are
used to symbolically and literally shroud
women: The headdress, with just a net grille
to see through, covers a woman's face and
head, and the corresponding abaya, a cloak/
caftan, covers the rest of the body. Together,
the ensemble weighs 14 pounds and is worn
over other clothing. In addition to increased
heath risks including Vitamin D deficiency,
osteoporosis and rickets, the social implica~
tions for women forced to wear the burqa
are sobering.
In Afghanistan, the Taliban used to force
women to wear the burqa. Any woman who
refused was flogged in public and could be
imprisoned. In the decade since the United
States invaded Afghanistan, the burqa is not
mandatory in the entire country, but most
women wear it to avoid reprisals. The burqa
is also worn in Iran, Yemen, Somalia, Sudan
and Niger, and in most Arab states, including
Saudi Arabia and Gaza.
Over 40 nations throughout the Middle East,
Africa and Eastern Europe require women to
cover their heads in public. They must wear a
scarf, or hijab,though their faces may remain
uncovered. In Israel, Orthodox Jewish women
must keep their heads, arms and legs covered,
but they may not wear trousers or pants. In
Sudan, where Sharia law has been enforced
since 1989, women caught wearing trousers in
public are fined and flogged between 25 and
100 times in public.
The burqa has become a source of conten~
tion in Western nations such as the United
from wearing miniskirts by the mayor. Any
woman caught in a miniskirt would be fined
500 euros. What's more, as every American
woman knows, men can wander the city
streets-any
city streets-without
a shirt
on, but if the police apprehend a woman doing
Kingdom, France, the Netherlands and
Australia, where both feminists and politicians
have argued that because it is so restrictive it
does not belong in modern society. In 2009,
French president Nicolas Sarkozy said, "In
our country, we cannot accept that women
Thousandsof years of dangerousfashionslater,
what women wear-or don't-can stillcost them
their independence,or even their lives.
be prisoners behind a screen, cut off from all
social life, deprived of all identity:' Last year,
the French parliament passed a ban on full~
face veils in public.
But Islamic countries don't hold a mo~
nopoly on restricting what women wear. In
October 2010, in Castellammare di Stabia,
on the Bay of Naples, women were banned
so, she will be arrested for public lewdness,
which carries a sentence of up to six months
in jail.
Thousands of years of dangerous fashions
later, what women wear-or don't-can still
cost them their independence, or even their
lives. Which puts a whole different spin on
the phrase "fashion victim:' ■
Where are same-sex couples
having and raising children?
FAMILYFRONTIER
70 percent of same-sex couples with children live in states with no legal relationship
recognition. The Family Equality Council offers this state-by-state guide.
.,
913
I
555
314
T~.-
279
1,665
1,762
118
5
377
• 843
~1,913
3,884
4,918
716
1,094
4,743
1,768
439
.,564
2,233
895
1,256
2,405
286
--
281
2,364
2,423
1,825
3,649
3,006
2,498
522
668 1,226
10,639
~3
[+--
4,371
1,233
7,494
..
534
-
Couples raising kids in states with same-sex marriage
Couples raising kids in states with another form of relationship recognition
Couples raising kids in states with no recognition at all
April 2011
I 27
LAUGH
TRACK
Pet Obsessions
Comedy couple, That's What She Said, face off on the lesbian pet issue. By Kathryn Lounsbery
Kathryn Lounsbery and Amy Turner are
best known as hilarious comedy duo That's
What She Said. So, it's no wonder that this
onstage-and real~life-couple know a thing
or two about lesbian cliches, in fact, they
have a song dedicated to them: "The Lesbian
Cliche Song:'And there's no Sapphic stereo~
type closer to these funny ladies' hearts than
that of lesbians lovin' their pets ( a little too
much). To get to the bottom of it, Lounsbery
sat down with Turner-and
their beloved
dog Edith Piaf-to
discuss their unique
family of three.
energy about this dog that is fun. She is our
Zen garden.
Howlonghavewe hadEdithandwhyPiaf?
Turner:We've had Edith for about six years.
Edith was originally Skippy, a boy rescue
(is still a boy, actually). "Skippy" never quite
fit-the name or the gender. When you and
I got together we saw La Vie en Rose about
the French singer Edith Piaf. She was run~
ning in one scene and you said, "That looks
like Skippy" and from that day Skippy has
been known as Edith.
Complete
this sentence."If a picturepaintsa
1000words..."
I knowfromourrelationship
thatyou'rea les- Turner:I would use 1001 to describe you,
bian,Amy.I alsoknowwe'reobsessed
withour Edith.
dog,EdithPiaf.Arelesbians
arepet-obsessed? Edith:I only need one word to describe you,
Turner:I think anybody who loves an animal mama. Love. Kibble. Turkey.
is obsessed-gay
or straight. Because we HowmuchtimedoyouspendwithEdith?
create our own families we project things Turner:A lot. Plus, she sleeps next to me so,
onto our pets-as children or an extension
apparently I have been exposed to the plague.
of a family. As for Edith Piaf, there's just an But what's the point ofliving if you can't have
2s
I curve
a dog in bed with your
Edith:[Sings] "If I can't have you, I don't want
nobody baby... "
Amy,tell meaboutEdith'swardrobe.
Turner:
Oy. I never thought we'd be thosepeople.
Apparently, we are those people. Edith has a
dress that we bought after asking the shop
owner "do you have a dress that won't cover
her penist Other items include an Elvis
jumpsuit, a banana costume, a Packers jersey,
a Breakfast at Tefany's hounds tooth cape, a
red turtleneck sweater and a rainbow~striped
old~time bathing suit, always a hit at Pride.
Edith was also on Last Comic Standingwearing
a top hat and velvet bowtie that belonged to
my dad in the 1970s.
Didsheadvance?
Turner:She did not. I think the pet world is
ageist. She's missing nine teeth. It's all about
new puppies, cute puppies, "Look at me I'm
sliding into a bowl of kibble, I'm hilarious,
I'm doing physical comedy:' She is cerebral.
And I don't know if everybody"gets" that.
You'rea singerbutyoupickedupa paintbrush
beforeyousangyourfirstnotes.
Turner:
My father was a very good painter. There
are pictures of me when I was little painting
and drawing. It's a way I have expressed mysel£
I feel very focused and complete when I'm
creating something.
Howdidyouruniquepetportraitscomeabout?
Turner:I have a dog encyclopedia that I got
when I was 12. I would study it, memorizing
all the breeds. A few years ago I thought: I
love dogs, I love art. I started doing acrylics
of dogs and then I created this technique using
wood grain paper. There is nothing better
than when people say "You totally captured
my dog in this portrait:'
Howdopeoplefindoutaboutyourartwork?
Turner:Through amyturnerstudio.com and
etsy.com/ shop/ amyturnerstudio.
AnyEdithandThat'sWhatSheSaidcollaborationscomingup?
Turner:Edith is in our new music video, and
check out thatswhatshesaidshow.com for all
our upcoming live shows. ■
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com
st~sHAHI
e first fell for Sarah Shahi as Carmen de la Pica Morales
on The L Word.The down to earth-and let's be honestdrop~dead gorgeous Shahi seemed like she might finally be
the one to tame Shane. But sadly, in typical Shane fashion,
Carmen was left at the altar and Shahi exited the series.
Thankfully, she didn't stay gone for long. After starring in
the brilliant but short~lived series Life, Shahi has ditched
the sidekick role to headline her own series, FairlyLegal.
steps to the top, and that was a giant step for me. And I
got in touch with lesbians in a way I never would have if it
weren't for The L Word. Not just emotionally, but some~
what mentally as well.
Didyoueverthinkyouwouldbecomea lesbianicon?
Am I? That's awesome if it's true. No, I never thought I'd
be a lesbian icon.
JenniferBealsandPamGriertoldusthat TheL Wordcastwas
likea family.Withwhomdoyoufeeltheclosesttoday?
Carmende la PicaMoraleswas a highlightof seasonstwo The girls were very much a family. At times, a dysfunctional
andthreeof TheL Word.Whydidthecharacterresonate
with one, but that's a truefamily. I haven't seen or spoken to them
audiences
sostrongly?
in a while, but if I had to pick one, it would be Kate.
That's hard to answer. It's difficult to tell why audiences react Youmixedwiththelesbiancommunity
formanymonths
while
Didit makeyouwantto fightfor LGBTrights?
a certain way to a certain character. I think for the most shooting.
part, Carmen was a free spirit. She wasn't tortured and she Oh, I've always believed in fighting for gays and lesbians. I
believe in equality for everyone. Yes, it did make me more
never played any games with people or their emotions.
Doyouhavea favoritememoryfromplayingCarmen-andis impassioned about their plight. It's maddening that they
it a lovescene?
aren't allowed the same privileges just because of their
sexual orientation. It's discrimination. It's ignorance. It's
[Laughs] The one memory I love the most is the first moment
I met Kate Moennig. It went like this, "Sarah, this is Kate. disgusting. It needs to end.
Kate this is Sarah. Sarah, in this scene, Kate is going down
TellusaboutyourlatestTVproject,Fairlylegal.
on you:' Oh shit! And which kiss? I liked them all.
FairlyLegal is like Sex and the City meets Law and Order,
Didyouimaginethat TheL Wordwouldbesucha success
and with way more sex than law. I loved the writing. I loved the
soimportant
to thelesbiancommunity?
characters. It was very emotionally driven, not procedural. It
I never expected that show to be as huge as it became. was a welcome change after [the TV series] Life.
Howwouldyoudescribe
yourcharacter?
When I signed on, it was just a job. Not being gay, I had
Kate is someone who fights for people's rights regardless
no awareness of what it meant to the lesbian community.
of what the law says. She leads with her heart and her
Only in the last few years have I realized what an impact
head doesn't always catch up. She hates the law. And at
it made. I get told almost on a daily basis how appreciative
people are for that show. It's quite a privilege to be a part
the same time, she's kind of a child. Emotionally, very raw.
of a cultural movement like The L Word.
She's also super fun and flirty-kind of a loose cannon.
Whatdidit changein yourlife?
(sarahshahi.com)■
Well, first off, my dinners no longer came from the gas
station across the street from my apartment. It definitely
This interviewfirst appearedin the
elevated:~:=~n
T:11;~:,:: ~~:-u_t_t_ak-i-ng--F-r-en_c_h_m_a-ga-z-in_e_L_a_D_i_x1_·
e_m_e_M_u_s_e_.
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Luckyfansof TheL Words
TinaKennardcanmeetLaurel
Hollomanthis monthandscorea signed
posterof oneof her beautifulartworks
at ClubSkirtsTheDinah(thedinah.com),
that famousdesertpartythat packs
a weekin Aprilfull of parties,pool
loungingandbrusheswith celebsand
musicians.Thepostersareprintsbased
on Holloman'spaintings,whichyou
canviewat laurelhollomanstudio.net.
Andherewe thoughtthat BettePorter
wasthe artisticonein that couple!
Holloman,
whostudiedpaintingand
sculptingat UCLAandthe SanFrancisco
Art Institute,hasactuallybeenworking
on a big installationfor a bankin Italy
that'stakingup mostof hertime.It's so
largescalethat she'sraisingthe roofon
hergarage,just to allowmorespaceto
work.Thismonth,Hollomanis looking
forwardto catchingup with L Word
fans,whoshecalls"the mostlovely,
mostloyalfansever.Andeventhough
the showhasbeenoff for a while,I still
seehowmuchit meansto everybody.
I
just hopeeverydaythat there'sgoingto
beanothershowwherepeoplecanfeel
that kindof connectionandemotion."
[JillianEugenios]
~
0
I
~
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~
z
0
0
THE FORMERL WORD
STARCONTINUES
TO LIGHTUP THE
SMALL SCREEN.
By Marion Webb
HERE ARE are many misconceptions about
Australia, most of which can be blamed on commercials
featuring products like Fosters, which Australians don't
drink, and the ubiquitous Ugg boot, which Australians
don't wear. And please, don't ask a sheila if she wants you
to throw another shrimp on the barbie. Trust me, she
doesn't (I did that once and it did not end well).
Australia is not the Outback anymore. It's a country
coming into its own, with cosmopolitan Sydney and culturecrazy Melbourne leading the way. We have Australia to
thank for many things, such as possessing more than its
share of the world's poisonous creatures, Nicole Kidman's
impervious forehead and a couple of our favorite lesbians,
including Mrs. Portia DeGeneres and the alluring (and
single) Ruby Rose.
Rose quickly garnered celebrity status when she scored
a gig as a VJ on Australia's MTV. Since then her career
has skyrocketed like a kangaroo out of a slingshot, nabbing
awards along the way and wearing many hats, among them
fashion designer, TV presenter, DJ, model, actor, international sex symbol and, unofficially, Australia's lesbian "it
girl:' She has graced the covers of Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Cleo
and, most controversially, "lads mag" FHM. Her dating life
is followed by the tabloids with the media often painting
her as a notorious party girl with a slew of broken-hearted
models in her wake-an accusation she denies with typical
Aussie humor. 'Tm kind of semi party animal and semi
nanna;' she tells me.
Ever ahead of the mainstream, American lesbians have
already embraced Rose, voting for her in AfterEllen.corn's
hot list, buying from her clothing line and hitting up
parties where she's the headlining DJ. Not to mention
those countless American girls following her on Twitter
and Facebook.
I sat down with Rose to talk Australia, girls, that
infamous FHM photo shoot, and how she basically just
"takes the piss" out of everyone. (Translation: teases everyone back.) I also did my best to convince the Aussie stunner
to move to America and be ours for good. As we spoke,
Rose's dog Daisy vied for her attention by running around
the house with squeaky toys.
34
I curve
Ruby,
let'snotmincewordshere:You're
themostfamous
lesbian
inAustralia.
Whyaretheresofewhigh-profile
lesbians
there?
Because I don't want the competition of other gay people
being famous. [Laughs]
I was outed within the first month of my job [at MTV],
and I was like, 0 K, I knew this was going to happen. I
didn't know it would happen so soon but I said it was true,
and thought it was going to go one way or the other. I'd
either never work again in this country, or I'd be really lucky.
I was lucky.
It's a bigger deal for people who have been around longer.
It would take a lot of bravery and courage to have had to be
a certain way, and then tell everyone this thing about you
that you know is going to go badly. The public sees it as
you lying to them for ages. I think everyone should speak
up about it, even if someone's parents are gay, or they have
a gay best friend, but I know it's not as easy for everyone as
it was for me.
Sydney
wasvotedoneofthe1ObestcitiesforLGBT
folks.Even
so,is it difficultto comeoutinAustralia
asa publicfigure?
We have maybe, what, 20 celebrities in Australia:' If
that. The big names, like the Nicole Kidmans and Hugh
Jackmans live in America anyway so we've only really got a
few that can be written about. You want to stay as commercial as possible and have as many people like you as possible,
considering how small it is here. If you do something even
little here, it's in the paper for the next month or two. In
America you've got hundreds of celebrities being churned
out with new reality TV shows, and new upcoming actors,
so you can get away with more there. The next day some
other celebrity is going to do something that'll be in the
media for that week so there's a lot of distraction and a lot
of people to hide between.
You'vesaidthatyourrecentmovefromSydney
to Melbourne
is helping
yourefocus.
Moving back to Melbourne was the best thing I could've
ever done. I bought a house down the road from my mum
and my grandma. So it's back where I grew up.
My focus is always changing, at the moment I'm back
to DJing and studying. I have designed a clothing range
for an Australian label called Milk & Honey that I'm loving
throwing myself into and it's going well and developing
nicely, so I want to focus on that for a bit. I'm doing a style
show on MTV not too different to Alexa Chung's style
show in the U.K. I'll do that as a full-on, full-time, twomonth thing, get it out and then focus on other stuff so I'm
not just hanging around the MTV offices being annoying.
I'm also renovating and one of my rooms is becoming a
music studio. I'm painting it bright pink and everyone's like,
What a lesbian. But I feel like pink is a musical color.
Themediaseemsto believeif you'restandingnextto a girl
you'resleeping
withher.Anyrelationships
totellusabout?
In Australia if sometimes feel like they make out like I go
LU
>-
0
~
~
g
a:
(3
from one girl to the next to the next, but really I've had
two girlfriends in the last three years that were serious.
Maybe this year the relationship will have to take a bit of a
miss. I always say that and then I'll meet someone in, like,
five minutes.
You'rea Pisces.
They'rehopeless
romantics,
youknow.
Yeah, but it's shocking though! [Laughs] I worked out that
the only times in the last three or four years when I've been
sad or pissed off or in a rut or when things aren't going to
plan, it's always when I'm in a relationship. My relationship always ends up taking the number one thing in my life
in a heartbeat, over everything else. And then if it doesn't
work out I have to pick up all the pieces around it. So it just
seems silly when I'm busy and happy and have great friends
that I keep finding myself in these relationships. I literally
feel like if I said to my manager or any of my friends, I met
this girl. .. they would just be like, Shh, shh, shut up, Ruby.
Sleep it off. Delete her number. This is one thing you're not
going to get right, so just give up on it.
Youmadeheadlines
lastyearwhenyoubrokeoffyourengagementto [Australian
model]Catherine
McNeil.Whathappened
withyoutwo?
Were still mates. Our friendship was there for seven years
before we even got together so it's so easy to go back. You
need a couple months off after the break up and then you
just go back to being friends. We just get along so well it just
makes sense now that that's what we needed to be. When
you do love someone to that extent you're like, Are you my
friend? Or are you my future wife? Because theres that real
fine line in the gay community, you know?
I do. Speakingof the gay community,
you were recently
embroiledin a bit of controversy.
Youwereon the coverof
the men'smagazineFHM,makingyouthe first out lesbian
to do so,whichsparkeda lot of controversy.
Whatdo you
sayaboutit?
Look, I'm cheeky. I mean, I love to play with fire. And I do
like a bit of controversy. Of the previous 10 times they'd
-~----------..W<:ed
me I'd been like, Ew! I'm not going to be on FHM.
It'
• g. Then for some reason, after three years,
they ffilppened to ask last it was when so many great
~s
w~r/happening in my life. It wasn't like I needed
~ to do the shoot for money or publicity beLAND
OFMILK
ANDHONEY cause I didn't need either. I thought, I have
J
RubyRoserecentlylaunched a choice to do this shoot and I'd be the first
herfashionline,Milk& Honey, Australian lesbian to be on the cover of that
ona Melbourne
streetcar.
men's magazine, which I think is hilarious
Thecasualrange,witha club
and really ironic. Plus, when I was young I
kidslook,includes
distressed used to read all the men's mags.
jeans,leatherjackets,denim
It was shot in a massive props studio by
skirtsandoversized
T-shirts,
Carlotta Moye. She shoots for Vogue, she
andisavailable
internationally
shoots for Harper's, she shoots Miranda
online.(incityfashion.com.
au/Milk-Honey-by-Ruby- [Kerr] and is an amazing photographer
Rose-Cl4.aspx). who travels the world shooting interesting
things. So I said to FHM, if you can get
Carlotta to do the photos I'll do the shoot, and we need
this assistant and this make-up artist. It was more like
we hijacked FHM and said, We're here! And FHM were
amazingly supportive in making the shoot as comfortable
36
I curve
for me as possible by agreeing to that.
I chose to have the other girl in it because I didn't want
to do it just by mysel£ How many pictures of me, standing
there, trying to look sexy, can I get away with before people
go, Shes really awkward and looks really weird?
WhenFHM,hitthestands,peoplesat in two camps:Thefirst
wasin support,
callingit a hotstepforwardforlesbianvisibility.Otherscalledit a stepbackward
forfemaleequality;
selfpromotion
through
exploitation.
Whatdoyouthink?
The pictures in FHM are really no more sexy or less sexy
than photos I've done for copious amounts of other magazines. It's just that it's in the context of FHM and that
makes it seem scandalous or whatever, but if you read the
interview you'll see that it's pretty tame. I talk about how
much better it is to be a lesbian and that there's absolutely no chance I would ever be with a guy, that I find
the fascination that guys have with lesbians to be absurd
and that men have a misunderstanding that two girls can't
be happy without a man. I make fun of the fact that men
think that when it comes to lesbians there's going to be a
threesome in a week. I kind of take the piss out of everything-including
mysel£
Perhaps
youalsochallenged
stereotypes
oflesbians
andmade
menwho haveneverspokento a lesbianreadan interview
withone.
They tried to be funny and ask cheeky questions. They
asked me, "If you were going to watch porn what would
you watch?" And I said, "You're not going to like my answer
because it's going to make my audience even smaller:' I'm
not really into porn, but the only porn I've ever watched is
gay man porn.
So there I was not only saying that I am not interested in
men, but thanks for paying your $9 for the magazine, I also
don't like watching men and women have sex. I'd prefer to
watch two gay men. So, at the very end it was edited [from
the interview]. I thought it was hilarious but my manager
was like, Who exactly are you appealing to? Gay men?
They're never going to pick this magazine up. Ever. So it
was all quite funny.
Soanychanceyou'llbe comingstateside?
Wehavesqueaky
toysheresoDaisycancome,too.
If I did it, it would be this year and might be first off an
American DJ tour-sort
of DJ around L.A. and New
York, and everywhere in-between. Just to kind of put my
feet in the water and take it slow. I'd love to work over there,
and we always have our feelers out for opportunities in TV,
film, interesting ideas-but I love Australia too. Spending
six months in Australia and six months in the U.S. would
be ideal for me.
Youmaywantto practiceyourbestAmerican
accent.
[Laughs] No way! When I was in L.A. recently I did an
American accent the whole time just to get into the flow of
it. I'd speak in an American accent and no one really blinked.
But then I'd walk into a shop and if there was a really good
looking girl behind the counter asking ifl wanted help suddenly it's like, Oh, g'day mate. How are ya, love? It's like I
couldn't lie. I couldn't have her thinking I was American
when I'm clearly Australian. (twitter.com/rubyrosel) ■
"Gays and lesbians
are a small but
critical proportion
of the parents who
are adopting from
foster care all over
the country."
idan and Giovoni are outgoing, affec~
tionate brothers with black hair and
warm smiles. When they were 2 and
3 years old, they were found walking
to Burger King. Social Services learned that their parents
had drug problems and were neglecting, possibly abusing
the boys, and put them into foster care. And following an
incident in which their father hit them during a parenting
class, the state terminated parental rights. Giovoni, who suf~
fers from more severe problems, went to live in a residential
treatment home, while Aidan was placed with a family who
initially intended to adopt him-but
then changed their
minds, throwing him back into the foster system.
Delaney and Elisha are a likable young lesbian couple
who live in a suburb of Denver. After several difficult
years trying to get pregnant, they turned to adoption.
They investigated domestic and international adoption,
but elected instead to open their home to a child who
needed a family. They contacted their local Department
of Human Services, went through classes and background
checks, and then they waited. That's when they met Aidan.
Less than a month later, Aidan came to live with them. For
Delaney and Elisha this was the beginning of the family
they dreamed of and for Aidan it was the safe and loving
family he needed. After the family visited Giovoni at his
residential facility, they decided to adopt him, too.
What began as domestic tragedy has become a wonderful
success story: Delaney, Elisha, Aidan, now 6, and Giovoni,
now 7, have formed a family. Delaney quit her job to stay
home and take care of the boys, who are thriving. It's chal~
lenging, with therapy, doctor, and school appointments every
week, but it's paying off. Both boys are doing well.
There are about half a million Aidans and Giovonis in
foster care in the U.S. All of them need homes and families,
gay or straight. "Kids do not grow up well in institutions;'
says Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B.
Donaldson Adoption Institute. "They grow up well in
families, and gays and lesbians are offering those families;
that's the bottom line:'
For lesbians looking to start a family, it's a worthy path to
consider, as it's one place where lesbian parents are welcomed.
As Dr. Dixie van de Flier Davis, executive director of The
Adoption Exchange told me, "We welcome you; don't be
afraid of us. We are excited to talk with you:'
The first thing Adam Pertman wants lesbians to know
about adopting a child in the foster care system is, "You can.
Gays and lesbians are a small but critical proportion of the
parents who are adopting from foster care allover the country:'
Another advantage is cost-next to nothing. Many states
even provide adoption subsidies and medical insurance.
"The important thing to keep in mind is why we're doing
this, and that is, while it's wonderful to have kids whom
adults want to parent, adoption is mainly about finding
parents for kids who need them, and that's the void that so
many gay and lesbian people are filling;' says Pertman.
If you decide on this form of adoption, start by calling
your local county human services agency. Explain to them
that you're a lesbian couple or single woman who wants to
adopt. If they don't welcome you-and chances are they
will-contact
the Human Rights Campaign (hrc.org)
to ask about gay~friendly agencies in your area. Or, you
can contact Adoption Exchange (adoptex.org) to find an
agency to work with. You will have to pass a background
check, take classes and have a home visit. You'll also have
the opportunity to tell them what age, sex and attributes
somewhere
a child is
waiting ...
for you
By Rene Rosechild
you are open to. The whole process will likely take around
a year, which is significantly faster and cheaper than other
approaches to adoption.
Many children in foster care are older, although some are
infants. Most of them are minority and many have physical
or mental challenges. They've all suffered neglect or abuse
and been through the foster care system, so often they have
problems with trust and attachment. Dr. Davis says, "I
understand if someone who's considering this gets nervous
about it. We will share everything we know with you about
the child ... but probably we don't know everything. You're
going to spend the rest of your life uncovering all the
possibilities, and discovering this child, and there will be
surprises-frightening
surprises and glorious surprises
along that journey as you raise the child:' Adam Pertman
told me that in general, these kids do just fine, and research
shows that they do at least as well in gay and lesbian homes
as in straight families, "because gays and lesbians-no
shock-provide perfectly good homes for kids:'
The reward is not only an opportunity to parent, but to
provide a home and family for a child who needs one. It
may be more challenging, but as Delaney and Elisha can
attest, it's more meaningful. There's a feeling of positive
accomplishment that comes from giving hope to a child.
In essence, you are building on the love you share to give a
child hope for the future. ■
April 2011
I 39
Does biology really equal
destiny? Non-biological
lesbian mothers struggle
for their right to maintain
contact with their children.
lesbian custody loss
By Stephanie Shroeder
y all accounts Frankie Travis is a loving, caring
and responsive parent. But she was torn from
her 10-year-old daughter Jennifer* after the
Sonoma County, Cali£ court drastically
changed Travis' full joint legal and physical
custody arrangement with her former partner
in the fall of 2009.
"It's like my daughter has been kidnapped and I can't go
to the authorities because they played a part in the crime;'
says Travis. She said she waited months to start the courtordered hour and 40-minute supervised visitations due to
her former partner's "evasion and delays, [which] played a
crucial part in alienating me from Jennifer;' laments Travis,
whose daughter has since been appointed her own attorney
who recommended"reunification counseling" that was also
ordered by the court. "I want to rock 'n' roll;' says Travis,
eager to reunite permanently with her daughter, "but the
court system does not move that fast:'
Travis is not alone; there are thousands of similar lesbian
40
I curve
custody scenarios playing out around the country. Kate
Kendall, executive director of the National Center for
Lesbian Rights (NCLR) says that organization saw nonbiological LGBT parents fighting for rights begin "as a
trickle in 1996. Then, as a tidal wave from 2000 to the
present, the majority of our custody cases have become
disputes between and among a lesbian couples. In the
first years of NCLR's existence, the cases almost always
involved heterosexual couples and us representing a gay
dad or lesbian mom:'
The change in demographics, of the proportion oflesbians having children together in the first instance, and the
subsequent breakup of lesbian relationships, often leaves
non-bio lesbian parents without legal recourse.
The NCLR and others are working hard to change that.
"Our position, and the law we've been able to develop in
some states to protect the right of the parents, is irrespective
of biology and regardless of whether they have marriage or
domestic partnership;' says Kendall.Travis and her ex in fact
did have a domestic partnership, which is the main reason
Travis was awarded full joint legal and physical custody in
2005. She is currently trying to regain full joint custody.
Nanette Gartrell, M.D., is an associate clinical professor of
psychiatry at the Center of Excellence in Women's Health
for the University of California, San Francisco and founded
the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family (NLLFS)
Study to investigate the lives of lesbian moms and their
children in the United States. Gartrell indicates lesbian
custody disputes are very similar to heterosexual custody
cases in terms of the level of anger, frustration and vindic,
tiveness. She also adds that the most important person to
consider in any custody dispute is, of course, the child.
Another non,biological lesbian co,parent caught in the
crossfire of an ugly custody battle and inadequate legal
system is Linda Rice.* Rice lives in the Midwest and a
month before Thanksgiving 2009 was handed a decision
denying her any access to her four,year,old twins.
Rice now says she questions everything, including
humanity. "How can someone do thisr I mean was [my
former partner] fraudulent then, toor Or is she just being
fraudulent nowr I've been reflecting on this for almost three
years, since she sent an email breaking off any relationship
between me and the twins:' Rice lives in a county where
second parent adoption is encouraged and she had
planned to take advantage of that, but her former partner
kept making excuses and delaying the process so it never
happened. "The judge seemed very sympathetic and all his
writings seem to be going our way. Then someone got to
him or he lost his nerve and just dismissed my case:' She
has no real recourse. "I could appeal, but as my lawyer plays
it out [the judge] had his opportunity and it would go right
back to his court on appeal and judges don't want to look
foolish. It's really hard for me to accept that there's no help:'
There is a common theme among many non,bio lesbian
moms regarding the mystery surrounding the loss of first,
their primary adult relationship and second, their children.
They are baffled by the dramatic change in the woman they
once loved and formed a family with to someone they now
see as a controlling, narcissistic, inflexible and often vicious
person who will lie, throw accusations and stop at nothing
to prevent them from gaining access to their children.
Amanda Mullins is the non,bio mother of James* and
lives in Indiana. Her former partner moved to Ohio with
their child to be with another woman a few months after
they split. 'Tm pretty young;' says Mullins, 'Tm not even
30 and I don't have $10,000 to retain an attorney:'
Mullins hadn't seen her son since October 2009. She
was able to make contact with her ex,partner, who has
since split with the other woman, and now allows Mullins
to see her son every other weekend. However, Mullins is
not allowed to take him out of the state of Ohio to her
own home in neighboring Indiana. "I just try to enjoy the
time I do get with him;' she says. She does not broach the
topic of legal custody with her ex because she does not
want to risk losing contact with her son again.
A recent high,profile lesbian custody dispute that has
garnered much attention is the Milledenkins case. In that
case, a non,biological lesbian co,parent (Janet Jenkins)
in 2009 was awarded full custody of her then 7 ,year,old
daughter. However, Lisa Miller,Jenkins' now"ex,gay" former
partner took the child and disappeared and, as of this writ,
ing, has still not surfaced to return the child to Jenkins.
Kendall of NCLR says, "What's remarkable about the
Millerjenkins saga and the latest court ruling is that they
are a lesbian couple. If they were a straight couple who had
a child together, whether they were married or not, there
would be nothing remarkable about what happened. This
is a situation where one parent unilaterally took the child,
moved to another state and forbade any contact with the
other parent. So, up until that point in the facts, no one
even raises an eyebrow-in
fact the reaction you would
get is 'that parent shouldn't be able to do that' because a
child is entitled to be involved in both her parents' lives.
What the Milledenkins case did that I was most gratified
by, is transfer custody from the bio parent to non,bio parent
and treats this couple just as hundreds and thousands of
courts have treated heterosexual couples in disputes where
one parent utterly refuses to honor the child's relationship
with the other parent:'
How can non,biological lesbian parents protect them,
selves when their relationship with their partner, the
biological parent of their child, breaks apartr
Executive Director of the Family Equality Council,
Jennifer Chrisler, lays it out like this: "We strongly rec,
ommend that folks who are in a relationship and who
are going to parent together define upfront what it will
look like when they break up. Develop a will, do a power
of attorney. Determine who will be the guardian of your
children in the event that you both die and they need to
be placed somewhere, and determine what it will look
like if the relationship ends as it relates to your parenting.
And, if you live in a state where you can pursue second
parent adoption, put both names on the birth certificate:'
Chrisler also says that a couple should get married, if
possible, because that helps the case in the event of a
breakup and custody battle.
Meanwhile, Frankie Travis is fighting back: She has
been vigorously campaigning among her friends and com,
munities, reaching out to both raise funds for her legal
expenses and find assistance in helping to reunite with
her daughter. She's even got a website and blog, which
chronicle her progress. Lisa Rice, however, reflects, "I feel
like I have spent the (past] year trying to survive; each day
is laced with grie£ The year marker was tough:'
"The bottom line is this;' says Kendall, "We want our
parenting rights protected and treated exactly the same way
they are protected and treated for heterosexual parents.
And, the good news is that in many states we have been
successful in shaping the law to protect lesbian or gay parents
in just that waY:'■
*Names have been changed by request.
April 2011
I 41
HILE DRIVING through Orange County on her
way back home to L.A. with her two dogs, Maggie and
Pistache, Natalie Garcia-who many will recognize as the
face of Sho.com's More to L with Natalie-found her life
suddenly and tragically changed. "One second, I was blissfully cruising, the next we're rolling over and over again in
my little VW beetle;' Garcia recounts. 't\ll the windows
broke. By the time I pulled myself out of the car, both dogs
were gone, like they had vanished into thin air. Standing
in the middle of a huge highway with my car upside down,
I realized the rest of my life was, too. I lost my babies and
there was nothing I could do:•
While Garcia was later reunited with Pistache, sadly,
Maggie lost her life in the accident. But Garcia has found
a new cause-animal rescue, and as Sweet's Chief Animal
Rescue Officer, she now dedicates herself to saving animals by land and by sea.
few days, we found Pistache alive. She'd made a little burrow for herself. She'd been abandoned in Mexico and knew
how to live in the wild. She actually gained weight.
Whatareyoudoingintheaftermath
ofthisterrible
accident
tohelp
otherdogsandcats?
Before the accident, I did animal work along with Sweet in
Cozumel. I want to continue helping animals in less fortunate areas, especially outside the United States. Sweet is
known as an eco-friendly travel company. Now, we're adding an official animal rescue component to its mission.
Cozumel was the first time we'd worked with a shelter.
Most people assumed it would be too sad, but it was quite
the opposite. We had a great time, washing and walking
the dogs. We delivered over $10,000 in veterinary supplies.
About a dozen or so "Sweeties" [the term used for Sweet's
legion of volunteers] went back every day to help out. Our
Sweeties ended up adopting nine dogs and three cats from
the island. We had fun, and it wasn't depressing because
You'vebeeninterested
in animalrescuefor a longtime,but we're a part of a solution.
therecentlossof Maggieturnedyouintoa passionate
activist. Whathaveyoulearned
aboutcarcrashes
andanimalsafety?
Whathappened?
I'm all about spreading animal awareness and safety.
After finding Maggie, my blue-heeler mix, dead, I knew I Animals are never mentioned in accidents, unless they
would never stop fighting for her. She was a rescue. I know were the cause of the accident. Paramedics treat people,
and at the scene of an accident, concern for the animals
she would want me to continue helping other animals.
On a happiernote,you did recoverPistache.Howdid that is minimal. While accidents are terrible, the grief is comhappen?
pounded when animals are involved. We need to find a
Using Facebook, local animal rescue, government officials way to address animal car safety with public safety workand the local media, I tracked down tip after tip. After a ers. Put your animals in seatbelts. The options for pets
44
I curve
z
0
(/)
~
u
a:
w
~a:
co
NAT'S NEXTRESCUE-CATIONS
PUPPYRESCUE:
Isla Mujeres Resort,
April 30-May 7, 2011 ; and Sept. 24-Oct. 1, 2011
HUSKYRESCUE:
Alaska Cruise, May 15-22, 2011
DOG,PUPPY,
CATANDKITTENRESCUE:
Cozumel
Palace Resort, Sept. 1-8, 2012
To find out how to join Natalie in her travels
or to help with these amazing projects visit
DiscoverSweet.com.
aren't great, but I hope to work with seatbelt manufac~
turers to improve the product and increase their usage.
YouwereonMoretoL withNataspartofShowtime'sTheReal
L Word,as well as beingthe hostof the LiveLoungeon Sho.
com.Howdidopeningupyourlifeto the camerachangeit?
I enjoyed sharing my life. It captured a lot of great moments
with Maggie. I would have never had that footage, if I
didn't do the show, so it's pretty priceless.
Also, I continue to receive heartfelt letters from youth
about how I've helped them. Anyone who is out and open
about who they are is doing something great for the next
generation of lesbians and gays. Even if there is one kid
out there who relates to you and feels normal, it's worth it!
People occasionally recognize me, but I don't go out in the
scene a lot. It's hard to get recognized at home-except
by
my partner and my dog. ■
The link between
loving women and
compassion for animals.
By Sandi Esposito
~~C:==::;:;i.1111!!~---
can't tell you if I was born gay,but I can tell you that I
was born an animal lover: I have pictures of me as an infant
spooning an obese feline. But still my love for animals and my
sexuality are linked-it was during the time of my employment
at an animal shelter that I realized I was in fact gay. So were
many of the women-and men-I worked with.
My very first animal rescue happened by accident when
I came across an adorable pit bull that two 14,year,old girls
were trying to sell on a busy New York City street. To the
horror of my landlord, I already had three adopted cats, a
foster cat and now an adopted pit bull in my tiny apart,
ment. I couldn't keep this dog, but I knew I had to save him
without dropping him off at the very kill shelter I often
volunteered at. I reached out to the N.Y.C. animal commu,
nity through Facebook. I saved the pit bull (Bandit)-but
the lesbians saved me. I had no idea I was about to embark
on the two destinies that would soon define my life: Animal
rescue and women.
I grew up in a typical heteronormative family, but there
was nothing ordinary about my house. My mother is a
champion of equality who's been known on occasion to
chase down vehicles on the road with anti,gay marriage
bumper stickers, give them the finger,and drive away showing
off her equality symbol. She taught me that not only are all
humans equal; animals are the true inhabitants of the earth
and our hearts. Growing up, I learned that a family is com,
posed of love-and a lot of fur on the carpet.
And so I formed the family of my choice. As I lay in bed
with my partner, Agnes, my pit bull Piglet curled between
us, I'm reminded that what makes a family is no longer a
man, woman, two and a half kids and a store,bought dog.
A family can be a single woman and her ten stray cats. Or,
in my case, two lesbians, a rescued pit bull and three high
maintenance (to put it lightly) kitties.
When I lost my animal welfare job over a year ago, I
moved to Connecticut to be with my partner. Newly out
of the closet and jobless, I applied for the few jobs avail,
able. I was ecstatic to find that most of my interviewers at
vet offices and shelters were lesbians, too. My extensive
animal handling experience helped me quickly land a job
and I found myself again surrounded by a community of
queer women and animals.
You don't need to work with animals on a daily basis
to make a strong contribution to the worldwide homeless
animal crisis. You simply have to represent. Abandoned
cats and dogs are dying needlessly every day: Adopt one.
Fostering through a rescue group is also a great way to
consistently save animals while meeting and educating
people about your pup in their ''Adopt Me" gear. Take a bag
full of biscuits and cat treats to your local shelter. It's the
perfect place to make a difference-and maybe even meet
the compassionate girl of your dreams. ■
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celebrating 25 years
ff.m
glaad media awards
~
presented by
Join us in honoring the year's most outstanding representations
of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community in the media.
GLAAD MEDIA AWARDS
LOS ANGELES
WESTIN BONAVENTURE
APRIL 10, 2011
Special Honoree
GLAAD MEDIA AWARDS
SAN FRANCISCO
MARRIOTT MARQUIS
MAY 14, 2011
modern family
Kristin Chenoweth
Special Guests
Cast of ABC's
Modern Family
Vanguard Awa rd
2011 Corporate Partners
National
Underwriters
Presenting Partner
(somcast
dream big.
~ D E LT A
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Local Presenting Partners
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--JA-
SOUTHWEST
·=·
Platinum Underwriters
@ii:-
NBCUniversal
W'Mmm,·r,;
lT1meWarnerl
Platinum Media Partners
hereO
instinct- PASSPORT
VULTURE
GayTelevision
OnDemand
-----Gold Media Partners
Ql,l!'Y.e ICayCity
~~ N(Q(.I'
OS
of 2/10/11
Model and actor
Jessica Clari~ and
N.Y.C. fitness trainer
Lacy Stone tie the l~not
in a stunning Mexican
beachside ceremony.
BOLD AND
BEAUTIFUL
By Sarah Gleim
THE LAND OF LIBERTY?
A
rundown
of where there are and aren't wedding
gays and lesbians.
By Katherine
bells for
Dean
e 200)4 passage of marriage equality in Massachusetts touched off a frenzy oflegislative action that saw dozens of
sttate legislatures revisit the issue of same-sex marriage. Spurred by conservative groups and religious leaders, many
sttates moved quickly, adding Defense of Marriage Amendments to their constitutions. When the chips fell after the
2004 election, 13 states had written sexual orientation-based discrimination into their constitutions. Fortunately, a
_=....;;£;..;;e.;;;;w~progressive-minded
states held onto the belief that, in a free society, everyone, regardless of sexual orientation,
deserves the right to marry the person they love. Over the next six years, LGBT advocates in these states worked
tirelessly to ensure equal rights for all. Below is a state-by-state update on marriage equality as of press time in 2011.
Reprinted from Equally Wed magazine, equallywed.com.
■ LEGALLYWED
AND LOVING IT
These states
protect the civil
rights of their
citizens by ensuring
marriage equality
for everyone,
regardless of
gender or sexual
orientation.
■
MARRIAGE, UNION OR
PARTNERSHIP?
These states recognize
some gay marriages,
and provide government
recognition of same-sex
relationships, the degree
of which varies.
THE BARE MINIMUM
Legislation either legalizing same-sex marriage
or seeking to restrict the rights of gays and
lesbians to equal protection under the law is
pending in both of these states.
so I curve
■
MARRIAGE LITE
These four states provide civil union
or domestic partnership arrangements
that confer broad marital rights upon
same-sex couples. Despite legally
acknowledging registered same-sex
relationships, these states do not
recognize legal gay marriages
performed in other states and bans
on homosexual marriage remain.
A MATTER OF LAW
These states promote
government-sanctioned
discrimination against
same-sex couples and
restrict marriage to
opposite sex couples.
■ ENSHRINING
INEQUALITY
These states have
implemented constitutional bans on
same-sex marriage.
FRIENDS
WITH BENEFITS
These states bestow
limited rights on
registered same-sex
couples and continue
to ban same-sex
marriage by statute
or constitutional
amendment.
■
JUST PLAIN PARANOID
These ultra-homophobic states
have enacted constitutional bans
on both gay marriage and all
forms of same-sex relationships,
including civil unions and
domestic partnerships.
■
With you when JtJtu wad ft),JW14;l
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Domestic partners
have unique investment
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ADVISORS
bJ ft!J~
planning needs and challenges.
You've worked
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egg will always be there for each other. We understand
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Wells Fargo Advisors was the fi.rst in the industry to offer the Accredited Domestic Partnership
AdvisorsM or ADPA5Mdesignation. Our Financial Advisors who have the ADPAsMdesignation
have been trained and certifi.ed on key issues affecting domestic partners
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Visit us at wellsfargoadvisors.com/adpa
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Wells Fargo Advisors is the trade name used by two separate registered broker-dealers:
Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, and Wells Fargo Advisors Financial Network, LLC,
Members SIPC, non-bank affiliates of Wells Fargo & Company.
Accredited Domestic Partnership AdvisorsM and ADPA5Mare
service marks of the College for Financial Planning~
© 2011 Wells Fargo Bank, N.A. All rights reserved. (445302)
Together we'll go far
LUCKY IN LOVE
The rolling' green hills and dramatic coast of Ireland provide the perfect
bacl~drop for an enchanting' romantic escape. By Melissa Varnadoe
end of a rainbow, but in a rich culture, stunning land~
scapes and friendly people. Castles, golfing, museums,
nature, music, luxury resorts and pubs (lots of pubs)-==-=Ir;;.;;;el
..and offers a little bit for everyone.
WHERE
TOSTAY
The Westin, Dublin:Providing class and comfort in
the heart of Dublin, the Westin is steps from Trinity
College, shopping on Grafton Street and the great pubs
and restaurants in Temple Bar. Their Atrium Lounge is
the spot for a cup of tea after a day exploring or head
downstairs to grab a pint in The Mint Bar, located in
the former bank vaults of this historic building. From
the friendly and helpful staff to the Westin's famous
Heavenly Beds, you'll be enveloped by the warm Irish
welcome, morning until night. ( thewestindublin.com)
LyrathEstateHotel,Kilkenny:As you pull up the drive,
you know you're in for something special. This reno~
vated 17th~century home has been transformed into a
resort offering the perfect combination of Old World
charm and modern luxury. There's tranquility at every
turn; spend your day walking through their private gardens
and woodlands or book a day at their spa for true indul~
gence. The hotel is just minutes from Kilkenny City and
an hour drive from Waterford and its famous crystal
factory. ( lyrath.com)
HayfieldManor,Cork:This five~star hotel feels like a
world away but is only a short walk to the city center of
Cork. Each room is unique and lavishly decorated. Staff
are ready to meet any request and assist with excursions
or sightseeing. There are two award winning restaurants
onsite as well as a full~service spa. (hayfieldmanor.ie)
WINING& DININGIN DUBLIN
You can't swing a stick in Dublin without hitting a couple
of pubs. You can rarely go wrong with any, but be sure
to visit one of the oldest pubs in the city, The Brazen
Head, for nightly traditional music and The Stags Head
for a perfectly gregarious Irish pub experience. When
you've had enough of pubs and are ready for romance,
head to Millstone Restaurant. Bathed in candlelight,
dine on traditional Irish fare like sumptuous lamb stew
or choose something with a contemporary twist like
the roasted pork belly with black pudding. Either way,
you'll enjoy a meal expertly prepared with fresh Irish
ingredients. Live music is performed most evenings, and
you'll want to make reservations because of the limited
amount of tables.
Take in dinner and a show at the Arlington Hotel on
O'Connell Bridge to enjoy traditional Irish music and
folk dancing while noshing on a set menu of Irish food
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and putting down a few pints of the black stuff.
If you've grown tired of fish and chips don't despair.
Thai Orchid, located at the edge of Temple Bar, is a
small restaurant big on flavor. On St. George's Street,
you'll find Diwali Restaurant serving authentic and
deliciously spicy Indian and Nepalese dishes. For
those craving sushi or noodle bowls, you need to look
no further than next door at Yamamori.
For 25 years, The George has been at the forefront
of the gay community in Dublin. The front bar, known
as Bridies, is a quieter area for a drink and chatting
or head into the rear bar for nightly entertainment,
great drag shows and arguably the best dance floor in
the city. The crowd is fairly mixed these days, which
attests to the progress made in the visibility of Dublin's
LGBT scene.
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SIGHTSEEING
Dublin is a compact city and walking is the best way
to get from one place of interest to the next. Enjoy
some Irish storytelling by taking a walking tour. Trinity
College graduate students provide an informative tour
of their historical college for only an extra Euro when
you visit the Book of Kells. The 1916 Rebellion Walking
Tour is a great way to learn about the history of Irish
Independence and is laden with loads of Irish wit.
History, art and literature buffs are easily appeased in
Dublin. Take a guided tour through Kilmainham Gaol
Historical Museum to see where most of Ireland's most
famous patriots were held during their long struggle
for national freedom. The National Gallery of Ireland
houses the country's finest works of art and the Chester
Beatty Library has a wonderful collection of artifacts
and ancient texts. Fans of Irish authors like Swift,
Wilde, Beckett or Shaw will want to visit Dublin's
Writers Museum for a look at the influence that Irish
literature has had around the world.
Everyone knows you can't come to Dublin and miss
St. Patrick's Cathedral, but you'll also want to visit a few
other churches while traversing the city. Christ Church
played an essential role in the country's history. St.
Audeon's Church is the only remaining medieval church
in the city and offers free admission and tours. For a
macabre experience, head to St. Michan's for a tour of
the crypt to see mummified remains and if you're brave
enough, touch one's finger for luck.
Arthur Guinness was more than the founder of
a brewery: He was a philanthropist and Irish hero.
Once the largest employer in the country, the St. James
Gate Brewery produces more beer than any brewery
in the world. Take a tour through the museum at the
Guinness Storehouse to learn the history of this famous
Irish brew and enjoy a pint with the best view of the city
at the Gravity Pub.
Ireland is a small country so rent a car to explore.
To the south of Dublin you'll find the breathtaking
Wicklow Mountains, Waterford and the vibrant little
town of Kilkenny with Kilkenny Castle and some won~
derful shopping. Even farther south is the picturesque
County Cork where you can kiss the Blarney Stone to
get the gift of gab or do some sea kayaking off Glengarriff
Harbour. Drive the famous Ring of Kerry and enjoy
one of the most scenic routes in Ireland or head west to
County Clare to see the dramatic Cliffs of Moher and
the stark rocky landscape of the Burren. Remember:
The Irish drive on the left side of the road, and be sure
to arrange your rental far in advance if you can't drive
a manual transmission as automatics are not as readily
available. ■
Reprintedfrom Equally Wed magazine,equallywed.com.
April 2011
I 55
n in her boudoir was at one time taboo. Tod
test trend in boudoir photography is port
eous and steamy partnership captured by M
ally Fine Photography. [ColleenOakley]
Whytheygotthem:We are not a cookie-cutter couple, and we"re
about awkward prom picture poses. This was the answer.
Whatthey'll do with them:We've made an album from the bO
graphs, and we pull it over every now and again because it b
our faces to look at these photos that illustrate such love
know these photos will bring the same feeling 50 years
is something words cannot describe.
Reprinted from Equally Wed magazine, equallywed.com.
What happens in Vegas shouldn't necessarily stay in Vegas, especially if it's your
wedding. While Las Vegas has always been the place to go on a tear, have an affair
or get hitched at a moment's notice, "sin city" has reinvented itself as a serious
recreation and wedding destination. There is now a decent range of gay-friendly
accommodation, wedding venues, wedding consultants, restaurants, nightclubs and
sunny, picturesque backdrops in which to bask in your newfound bliss. Forget the
hangover and Elvis impersonator and say "I do" in style.
GAY VEGAS
Steve Friess's book Gay Vegas: A Guide to the Other
Side of Sin City, outlines many of the reasons Vegas
has become an LGBT paradise. Sure, the town's emphasis on theatricality and living luxe appeals to gay folks, but
there is also a solid core of queerness here. The Center
Las Vegas ( thecenterlv.com) has a women's empowerment network and lesbian support and social groups,
the Rainbow Wedding Network held the Gay & Lesbian
Wedding Expo there last year and Las Vegas Pride is a
big and bold event, this year in September. (lasvegaspride.
GET HITCHEDOR
HONEYMOONIN SEXY,
SOPHISTICATED
"SIN CITY."
By Merryn Johns
org). Plus, there are gay nightspots a-plenty. Krave nightclub is the co-ed place to go, especially if you don't mind
mingling with the boys, while lesbians head to Booty Bar
(bootybarlv.com) on a Saturday. QVegas (qvegas.com) is
your best bet for keeping up with what's on where.
WHERE TO STAY
It doesn't get much gayer than The Wynn Las Vegas and
its sister property, Encore Las Vegas (wynnlasvegas.com),
both five-star and five-diamond rated, jaw-droppingly
beautiful properties-where
the Las Vegas kitsch is left
at the door. Rather, the hotel leads with its design, which
is the opulent and outrageously fun vision of out gay interior designer Roger Thomas. You can also credit Thomas
with the famous interiors of Vegas Strip landmarks
The Mirage and Bellagio. The Wynn has a multitude of
gay-friendly and gay staff including the VP of Human
Resources, the delightful Stephanie Rosol. It also boasts
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a Pride concierge, who can tailor your stay to your specifications and make it as gay as possible. On top of all this,
the property features a number of upscale restaurants
and nightclubs that will appeal to the most discerning
lesbian. Equality-minded women will be pleased to know
that Wynn achieved 100 percent on the HRC Corporate
Equality Index the first time it applied in 2010, and another
perfect score in 2011. In 2004, Wynn Resorts was the
first casino-resort company to offer domestic partner
benefits; it's also TAG and IGLTA certified and supports
local and national LGBT organizations.
WHERE TO GET MARRIED
So, if you do want an old-style Vegas wedding, complete
with Elvis impersonator, go whole hog with a Viva Las
Vegas Doo Wop Wedding, complete with a pink Cadillac.
Las Vegas Wedding Connection (lvweddingconnection.com)
offers this and a wide variety of venues, themes, packages
and price points.
And if you are staying at The Wynn or Encore, the
Wedding Salon at Wynn Las Vegas offers packages
from as little as $990 to over-the-top elegance. Five exclusive packages have been designed with lesbian brides
in mind, while the venues themselves have adorable and
very lesbian-sounding names: the Lavender salon, Lilac
salon and the Primrose courtyard for outdoor ceremonies. (EncoreLas Vegas.com/PRIDE).
IFYOU'VE GROWN TIREDOF THE "SIN"
COMPONENTOF YOUR STAY,IT'S TIME FOR
MEET THE SHOWGIRLS
Vegas is known for its over-the-top shows, and that movie.
For a late night erotic cabaret outing worthy of Gina
Gershon, don't miss MGM Grand's Crazy Horse Paris.
It's an all-girl spectacle and a little bit of naughtiness
before you tie the knot. For something big and bawdy,
try Cirque du Soleil's Zumanity. It features every form of
sexuality imaginable, but the lesbian kissing in the fishbowl is definitely the highlight of the show. For elegant,
aquatic eroticism, however, my pick is Le Reve. And
if you happen to be traveling with a wedding party,
Mom or Mom-in-law won't be offended by this lavish
theatrical dream.
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Vegas is a foodie town and a very good seafood destination. Not see-food-and-eat-it-I
mean fresh seafood,
such as that found at Mandalay Bay's RM Seafood
where chef Rick Moonen serves up stunning lobster rolls
and sweet Washington State oysters (rmseafood.com).
Valentino restaurant's Vin Bar & Lounge offers tasty
bites and a good selection of wines if you're in the mood
for something continental and light before seeing the very
romantic Phantom of the Opera. (thevenetian.com). Support
local lesbian restaurateur, Susan Feniger, by dropping
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by Border Grill for some colorful Mexican cuisine made using
sustainable ingredients (bordergrill.com). And back at
Wynn, Botero is the place for a damn good steak perfectly
cooked and served in a lovely environment by staff who
know their stuff.
PAMPER YOURSELF
To look your best on the big day, avail yourself of the burgeoning
spa scene in Vegas. The Wynn's Spa presents a very grand
yet elegant, Asian~inspired sanctuary with separate women's
facilities, and after your treatment you can exit to the pool,
if you feel so inclined. Ydara Hotel & Spa is a non~gaming,
smoke~free property at the new CityCenter (vdara.com) . It
boasts a state of the art spa and beauty salon with staff that
pride themselves on their expertise, and use a selection of
products by green retail partners.
THINGS TO DO ON AND OFF THE STRIP
The Erotic Heritage Museum (eroticheritage.org) is a fasci~
nating, if slightly seedy foray into the history of sex enter~
tainment in America. But if you've grown tired of the "sin"
component of your stay, it's time for an intimate encounter
with Mother Nature. The nearby Red Rock Canyon offers
a peaceful respite, and an easy lunch can be had by bringing
a picnic into the canyon or having lunch at the Red Rock
Casino, Resort and Spa (redrocklasvegas.com). If you like
to be guided, both on and off the Strip, the best guide in
town is Babs Daitch (thanksbabs.com) who knows every~
thing about the area, and can share history and gossip along
with shopping recommendations.
GETTING AROUND
It's possible to walk around Vegas (in the cooler months)
but an easier, more enjoyable way to explore is via the
Monorail (lvmonorail.com). Avoid Vegas' infamous cab
lines and bumper~to~bumper traffic and travel from one end
of the Strip to the other in 15 minutes or less. Stay on the
Monorail during its four mile route to get your bearings
above the ground and enjoy the view before you hop off and
dive back into Sin City's myriad attractions. ■
April 2011
I 61
SWEDENPRESENTSA
WINTERWONDERLANDTO THE
ADVENTUROUSLESBIANTRAVELER.
By Constance Parten
IF YOU THINK winter in North America is getting too cold
for comfort, here's the perfect antidote: Go somewhere
even colder! Scandinavians know how to deal with, and
celebrate, the frostier months, and Sweden-whether
you're in the village of Jukkasjarvi, famous for the Ice
Hotel, or in the cosmopolitan heart of Stockholmpromises a glorious, warm, gay~friendly welcome.
THINGS TO DO
Culture junkies can go on a bender in Stockholm. There's
no shortage of amazing, arty places to experience. For
retail therapy and charming village atmosphere, wander the
laneways of Gamla Stan (the Old Town), which dates
back to the 13th century. For traditional and hearty
Swedish fare such as herring, meatballs, cod or ox cheek,
stop in at Gyldene Freden (gyldenefreden.se), a tavern
established in 1722, and favored by artists and writers.
The Swedish Academy, which nominates the winner of
the Nobel Prize for literature, meets there weekly. For a
hit of Scandinavian history, the Vasa Museum (vasamu~
seet.se) showcases the stunning Swedish warship that
sunk on its maiden voyage in 1628 and was raised 333
years later. For something more modern, feast your eyes
on impeccable exhibitions by brilliant contemporary
photographers at the superb Fotografiska photography
gallery (fotografiska.eu). Appreciate the artistic genius of
one of Sweden's beloved sculptors, Carl Milles, at his very
Clockwise from left: Stockholm at Christmas; dogsledding in
Lapland; Gamla Stan (The Old Town); the forest in the Arctic circle
own estate, Millesgarden (millesgarden.se), the grounds
of which are decorated with some intriguing female
nudes and offer beautiful views of the city. Brush up on
your Stieg Larsson by taking a Millennium tour through
Stockholm-you
might just learn the inspiration behind
Lisbeth Salander. And for some Swedish nostalgia, visit
Skansen (skansen.se), a rambling outdoor museum comprising charming Nordic structures, a recreation of an old
village with traditionally-dressed craftspeople, activities
such as glassblowing, and market stalls where you can
sample Swedish delights and shop for unique home wares
you won't find at IKEA.
WHERETO STAY
In Stockholm, it is possible to stay in the heart of the
city and on your own island. Former army barracks dating
back to 1699 have been ingeniously transformed into
an eco-conscious, waterfront lifestyle hotel called Hotel
Skeppsholmen (hotelskeppsholmen.se). The rooms are
stylishly minimalist and comfortable-many
with views
of the river, and you're only ever a short taxi ride or reasonable walk from the city centre. This very gay-friendly
establishment is both a member of the International Gay
and Lesbian Travel Association and Design Hotels. It
doesn't get much more Swedish than that.
WHERETO EAT
The Swedes have the simple pleasures, like bread and butter,
coffee and chocolate, down to a fine art. Xoko (xoko.se) is
great for a simple and delicious breakfast platter featuring
a selection of breads, meats and cheeses. Or choose something sweet for morning tea or an afternoon pick-me-up;
their chocolates and desserts are drool worthy. A majority
of restaurants in Stockholm are reliable, but for something
refined and relaxed head to F12 Salongen (f12.se), the more
casual cousin of the upscale F12.1he food is beautiful and
delicious, and the atmosphere warm and dub-like. For a
more vibey establishment, head to Torget (torgetbaren.
com), a magnet for gays, lesbians and hipsters of all persuasions. The service is super-friendly and casual but still
offers a good night out with simple and delicious dishes.
EXTREMELY
COOL__
HeadtotheArcticwilderness
forthecoolest
experience
of
yourlife.Onlya shortflight
fromStockholm,
theIceHotel
haslegendary
status:
It'sthe
firstandlargest
hotelmade
purelyoficeandsnow,right
downtothechandeliers
and
MEETTHE GIRLS
How lesbian-friendly is Stockholm? Off the charts is the
simple answer. Generally speaking, Stockholm feels very
gay, as though queer stylists have made the city over just
for us. The architecture is beautifully preserved; the
restaurants, bars and coffee shops equally gorgeous, many
displaying that quintessential Swedish design sensibility
and the nightlife is mixed and welcoming. Paradise (paradisesthlm.com) is a good gay bar where men and women
mingle but Momma (restaurangmomma.se) restaurant
and club offers Lezzie Fridays, while Roxy (roxysofo.se) is
a popular lesbian dining and drinking destination located
in SoFo, a bohemian part of Stockholm. To keep abreast
of the several lesbian watering holes and semi-regular girls'
nights, check QX magazine (qx.se).
HOW TO GET THERE
Whether you fly business class or coach, Scandinavian
Airlines (flysas.com) offers friendly, professional service.
(visitsweden.comand stockholmtown.com/gay-lesbian)■
________,
"glassware"
intheIceBar.It's
alsoanannualartproject
with
eachsuitedistinctly
designed
byinternational
artists.If you're
fussyaboutthreadcountand
centralheating,
it'spossible
the
IceHotelmaynotbeforyou.But
adventurous
lesbians
willbein
fora nightto remember
if they
stayhere.Cuddle
uponreindeer
pelts(OK,notreally,
they'rejust
foreffect)inoneofthedifferentlythemedsuitesmadeoutof
solidicefromthenearby
pristine
RiverTome.
Alternatively,
if you
don'tfancybedding
downon
blocks
ofice,checkinto"warm"
accommodation
witha Nordic
chalettheme.Activities
associatedwiththeIceHotelinclude
dogsledding,
snowmobiling,
icesculpting
andstaying
at a
wilderness
campwhereyou
justmightsamplereindeer
stew.Intheevenings,
enjoythe
Welovedthecarpaccio
ofelk
platedonicewear.
Youmightbe
inthewilderness,
hometothe
region's
indigenous
people
(the
SarniorLaplanders),
butthere
areplentyofcomforts
tochase
thechillsaway,fromwarm
IceHotel's
impeccably
served
lingonberry
juicetoa sumptufoodandwineatthemodern
ofwines.
Scandinavian
stylerestaurant
or ousselection
[CP]
theOldHomestead
restaurant. (icehotel.com)
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Stockholm Gay&Lesbian Network
I
Since May 2009 Sweden has said YESto same-sex marriages -Why don't you and your loved one
choose one of the 175churches Stockholm has to offer for your own "I DOs"?
Uncover great deals to Wedding bells and Honeymoon getaways- Book now:
www.flysas.com/us
V.ISi·t ••
-•
Sweden
•
Stockholm
The Capitalof Scandinavia
International Gay & Lesbian Travel Association
Scandinavian
Airlines
BRIGHTON
QUEER
EVERYDAY
HEADTO THIS SEASIDELOCALE
FOR BEACHES,BOARDWALKS
AND BEAUTIFULBRITISHBIRDS.
By Stephanie Schroeder
THE FIRST THING you should
know about Brighton,
England, is that it's super queer-in the broadest sense of
the term. This coastal gem is inhabited mostly by people
who came to visit, loved it and stayed. Everyone, it seems,
is from somewhere else: Vienna, Paris, London. The second
thing you should know is that Brighton is only a 45,minute
train ride from London's Paddington Station. Really just a
hop, skip and a jump.
Brighton Beach is famous (or infamous) as the battle,
ground of the Mods and Rockers in the 1979 psychedelic
rock movie Quadrophenia(and more recently it's the set,
ting of the hit lesbian series Sugar Rush). Brighton Pier
is a traditional boardwalk with carnival rides, food stands
and various other tourist attractions. The pebble beach
is unique and luxurious, while the kippers for breakfast,
Mummy dear, Mummy dear, are actually imported from
Sussex. The local fishing industry, viable in earlier years,
has died a slow death more recently.
The lesbian scene is definitely happening, but the beauty
part is Brighton is all gay, all the time. No one even looks
sideways at queer folks, whether they're bare,chested gay
guys holding hands on the street or groups of lesbians
sunbathing in the park in their bras and panties.
NoMo,be,missed is the looming Royal Pavilion, architect
66
I curve
John Nash's extraordinary Oriental fantasy in honor of
King George IV. With an Indian exterior and colorful
Chinese interior, the monument is now a museum. Totally
gaudy, gauche and over,the,top, it's still an amazing sight
to behold and worth the time it takes for a proper tour
( royalpavilion.org).
There are no exclusively lesbian bars or dubs in
Brighton-all gay establishments cater to a mixed queer
crowd and the proportion of gays to lesbians is the usual
10 to L Thursday nights at Club Revenge (revenge.co.uk)
is women on top, men on the bottom. Floors, that is.
Frockabilly (frockabilly.co.uk), a lesbian,operated,
straight,friendly tribute to the 1950s, is happening the
first Friday of every month and is a guaranteed good
time. Most of the gals there were dressed in James DeanBuddy Holly- and Marilyn Monroe-inspired styles-or
somewhere in between. There were some quite good step,
pers who energetically participated in line dancing, did the
jitterbug and swung and twirled to classic '50s tunes as
DJ Lonesome M spun blast,from,the,past classics from
real vinyl.
Dining Dykes (diningdykes.com) is a social network
of lesbians who, well, dine together. The group alternates
its destination dinners and other events between London
and Brighton since the route between the two is so easy.
Dyke Modern (dykemodern.co.uk) is a local collective of
Sapphic artists and writers who bring together lesbians
for workshops and events that promote and encourage
creativity and empowerment.
As far as neighborhood exploration goes, one could
spend her entire time shopping and grazing in North
Laine, a hub of boutiques selling everything from modern
streetwear brands and vintage clothing to new and used
books, records and random hip and kitsch. North Laine
is dotted with cafes and, in particular, vegetarian outposts
such as Infinity Cafe, an offshoot of a
workers' cooperative that's been in exis~
tence since 1971, and Red Veg, a joint
with an iconic communist theme, where
you can find everything vegan and veg~
etarian, except tofu. I picked up a pair
of bright~purple Airseal Para boots,
the ultimate cruelty~free shoes, at the
original Vegetarian Shoes boutique.
The company uses the finest water~
resistant, non~leather components in
all its footwear. I put on my extraordi~
narily comfortable boots immediately
and wore them for the rest of my stay!
(vegetarian~shoes.co.uk)
Major eats in Brighton run the gamut
from gourmet vegetarian (terre a terre is
popular enough to have its own successful
cookbook) to the hip, new "gastronom~
ics;' including Sawadee, an intimate
Thai joint with fresh ingredients and a
warm atmosphere. I also hit Due South,
a classy restaurant along Brighton's
beachfront where 80 percent of the food
comes from within a 35~mile radius of
the establishment. It was a pleasure to
linger at Due South on a breezy night
with a few new friends-the
beachfront
was alight with lanterns.
Cream tea is famous throughout the
UK. and I recommend a cute little place
called, aptly enough, Cream Tea. It serves
a variety of locally grown and produced
fare, including black teas and more exotic
blends made by Tea Pigs. The shop's cof~
fee is from Small Batch, roasted in Hove.
I had a delectable Sussex Charmer: a
cheese scone filled with scallion cream
cheese and watercress, accompanied by a
reliable English breakfast tea.
What about Prider you ask: Brighton
Pride is the biggest free Pride festival in
the UK. The party includes a week of
events in the winter and the summer.
Plus, the big parade through the city and
the party in Preston Park at the beginning
of August, which attracts over 150,000
■
people. (brightonpride.org)
HOW TO GEI THERE___
~
Although
I consider
Brighton
a destination
in itself,thisseaside
cityshould
definitely
beat thetopofyourlistassidetriporgetaway
whileinLondon.
Flyinto
London
onAmerican
Airlines,
whichhasspecialpackages
forLGBT
customers
(aa.com/rainbow),
andthenjumponBritish
Rail(BritRail.com)
andrideincomfort
toa longweekend
ina coolbeachtown,whereyou'llrelaxina supremely
beautiful
spotwitha totallyqueerattitude
andstyle.
ACCOMMODATIONS:
ONEBROAD
STREET
isa lesbian-owned,
simplydecorated,
4-starperiod
guesthouse
situated
30 seconds
fromthebeach,andhasa reputation
forhigh
standards
ofcleanliness
andservice.
(onebroadstreet.com)
MYHOTEL
BRIGHTON
isa veryqueer-friendly
ultra-mod
hoteldesigned
byAndy
Thrasyvoulou
andKarimRashid.
It hasbeendescribed
as"a hotelwhereFreddie
Mercury
mighthavemettheMaharishi."
(myhote/s.com)
THENEWSTEINE
isanelegantandfashionable
five-story
Georgian
townhouse
in
centralBrighton.
Gay-owned
andlesbian-friendly,
theNewSteinehotel/B&B
hasa
contemporary
design,
witha hintof French
influence.
(newsteinehotel.com)
RESOURCES:
VISITBRIGHTON.COM
hasalltheinformation
onBrighton
andHove,
andGScene,
(gscene.com)
a monthly
gaymagazine,
offersallthelatestpubandclublistings.
Andvisitbrightonourstory.co.uk
foranonlinearchive
givingvoiceto Brighton's
LGBT
history.
ULTRAVIOLENT
FEMMES
Grudges. The best players from the four
league teams combine to form the AllStar (A) Team, London Brawling, and the
reserves team, the Brawl Saints. London
Brawling, the best of the best, plays teams
from other cities around the world. The
London Rollergirls are now the reigning
champions of European Roller Derby.
They play to 800-plus crowds-and
bouts include DJs
spinning rock, pop and punk; a carnival atmosphere with
raffles, prizes and merchandise stands; and a riotous after
party. The London Rollergirls are also one of the first
leagues outside the United States to be granted membership in the Women's Flat Track Derby Association-the
governing body of Roller Derby. For the uninitiated, here
are the basics of the sport: Two teams of four skate around
an elliptical track, plus one point-scorer per team ( the
jammer) tries to battle her way past them and lap them as
IT'S FAST IT'S FURIOUS.IT'SALL THE RAGEIN
ENGLAND.LONDONROLLERGIRLSPROVETHAT
BRITSKNOW HOW TO WHIP IT
By Georgia Krokus and Katherine Wright
INVENTEDIN America during the Great Depression, Roller
Derby is now experiencing a revival, and is one of the fastestgrowing contact sports for women. (When two teams
compete, it's called a bout!) Roller Derby's second life
began in Texas in 2001, and since then interest in the sport
has spread across the country and around the globe. In
the UK., talented and tough skaters started the London
Rollergirls League in April 2006. London Rollergirls
(LRG) is made up of four league teams, the Suffra Jets,
Ultraviolent Femmes, Steam Rollers and Harbour
many times as she can. For each opposing player she passes
the jammer scores one point. No tripping, punching or
shoving is allowed-but there's still plenty of rough-andtumble. curve caught up with LRG A-Team out lesbians,
Raw Heidi, Dalai Harmer and Stefanie Mainey, and
asked them how they started, what it takes to be a Derby
girl and how they'd describe their most impressive injury.
RawHeidi:A friend of mine invited me to a Roller Derby
bout for her birthday with the promise of "hot girls on
skates battering each other:' It was a no-brainer for me- I
booked a ticket immediately. What does it take to be a
Derby girl:' Toughness is in the eye of the beholder.
Teensy girls and sturdy women alike can have a toughness they didn't even know about until they try something
like Roller Derby. You only have to be tough enough to get
up again after being knocked down for the one-hundredth
time. You need to have a level of dedication to it above and
beyond a normal hobby if you want to make the A-Team
in your league and be a great skater. My first impressive
injury was the most enormous bruise I'd ever seen in my
life, taking up most of my left thigh-I've seen bigger
since, mind you.
DalaiHarmer:When I got into the league I was bored with
my life and was looking for something where I could meet
fun people. I stumbled across the LRG website and it
looked awesome, so I sent off an email. I nearly talked myself out of starting as I couldn't skate at all, but everyone
said it didn't matter. So I took the plunge. I have to give
all credit to my girlfriend for coming up with my Derby
name. She likes to constantly remind me how clever she is
for coming up with it. Every player has her strengths and
weaknesses-you
could be really
petite but fast and be a great jammer. The training really tones you
and builds up your muscles anyway,
so I don't think anyone should be
put off if you don't consider yourself
to be "tough:' That's not all it takes.
So far, I've only broken a finger. And
for about two weeks I did have a
black-and-purple butt cheek that
made sitting quite uncomfortable.
TEENSYGIRLS
AND STURDY
StefanieMainey:I saw Roller Derby
on TV and thought it looked
amazing, so I bought some skates
and gave it a go. That was four years
ago. I dropped my Derby name
[because] I felt that people saw this
sport as more of a sideshow, or a
novelty act, because of the skate
names. To be a Derby girl, you have
to be mentally tough, you need to
WOMEN
ALIKE CAN HAVE
A TOUGHNESS
THEY DIDN'T EVEN
KNOW ABOUT
UNTIL THEY TRY
SOMETHING
LIKE ROLLER
be a fighter and not give in. The
first year you're going to spend a lot
DERBY.
of time getting hit to the floor, but
you have to suck it up and shake it
off and keep moving. You don't learn when you play it
safe. My injuries from Roller Derby include a sprained
ankle, and I have a small scar below my right eye from
taking a helmet to the face, too. If there's one thing that
Derby teaches you, it's confidence. I've seen meek girls
start Derby and turn into strong, powerful women.
(londonrollergirls.com)
■
REVIEWSMusic Watch
BandTogether
Like chosen family, Minneapolis rockers Sick of Sarah aren't sick of each other. By Merryn Johns
In an industry full of supposedly talented,
cool,looking female musicians you may not
be looking for a new audio obsession. Well,
too bad, because Sick of Sarah may just be the
best girl band you haven't tuned into-yet.
Comprised of Jessie Farmer (guitar and
vocals),Jamie Holm (bass and vocals), Katie
Murphy (guitar and vocals),Jessica Forsythe
( drums and vocals) and Abisha Uhl (lead
vocals and guitar), the quintet, in their 20s,
has been praised by the Nancy Wilson
(Heart) and Susanna Hoffs (The Bangles),
with whom they toured. They've also toured
with their contemporaries, Girl in a Coma,
and opened for rock legend Joan Jett ( to
whom Abisha Uhl bears more than a passing
resemblance). Jett is also an icon for Jessie
Farmer and provides a vital connection to
one of the all,girl bands Sick of Sarah would
most like to be compared to: The Runaways.
But times have changed since the impact
70
I curve
"We wanted to be really
strong musicians. Being
attractive, super sexy,
wasn't really our focus."
made by The Runaways. Lesbian bands can
be out (Uhl, Farmer and Murphy are), and
flaunt their musical talent without hiding
behind the "novelty" of gender. Following the
lead of The Go,Gos and Riot Grrrl outfits
like Babes in Toyland and L7, a lineup of
lady rockers is expected to actually play.
And Sick of Sarah can certainly play.
When Uhl and Farmer formed the band in
2004 they were serious."! was like, Let's make
this a machine that is a force to be reckoned
with;' says Farmer. "We wanted to be really
strong musicians. Being attractive, super
sexy, wasn't really our focus. We're trying
to break that stereotypical view of women
and getting everybody to focus on how well
we play:' Seven years on and they're rocking
venues across the country with their brand of
satisfying, punk,infused pop.
Both their label and fan base accepted
them immediately. "Our label embraces who
we are as people, our different looks, our dif,
ferent styles;' says Farmer.
"People were appreciative that we could
write our own songs;' says Uhl. "Even in
our baby stages I knew we could do it, keep
pushing forward no matter what:'
Their fan base is mostly female, but men
and teenage boys also come to the shows. At
one gig a pair of boxer shorts landed on the
neck of Farmer's bass guitar. The gender of
the thrower is still unknown.
If you think being in an all,girl band is a
lesbian wet dream come true, think again.
g
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It is, sometimes, "like having five periods a
month;' says Uhl. "Fortunately we all get
along really well;' adds Farmer. "Sometimes
we fight like sisters but we're all best friends
and we laugh a lot:'
"Yeah, we definitely have a family relationship;' agrees Uhl. "We take care of each other:'
Most often it is Farmer who occupies the
parental position. 'Tm very nurturing;' she
says. "When the girls are sick I'll make them
tea and soup. I'm very protective of them. If
someone's getting a little too close I'll step
in. In certain situations when anyone feels
uncomfortable, they come to me:'
Like a family unit the band even shares a
home base. The title of their fifth and latest
album, 2205, comes from 2205 Grand Ave.,
which has provided a dwelling and headquarters for each band member ( the girls
have "2205" tattooed on their wrists). Like a
collective, they all contribute to the creative
process-and
to the more mundane process
of making ends meet, holding down jobs in
Minneapolis when they're not on tour.
Touring is hard on family, especially pets.
Last year, Farmer spent $3,000 to save her
cat. Farmer and her girlfriend, who lives in
Portland, Ore. are "serious;' but only get to
see each other about once a month. When
asked about her dating status, lead singer
Uhl dodges the question, preferring to retain
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her rock chick mystique.
"Can I make something up like, I'm currently romantically involved with Selena
Gomez?"
"Let's start a rumor!" says Farmer. "k.d.
lang;' she teases, like a big sister does.
"No, not k.d.lang!...Find me an actress.
What about Kristen Stewart? Am I going to
get in trouble?"
What Uhl isprepared to admit is that 2205
is intimate as well as inspired, and probably
their best album yet, with a wide range of
songs, from the deep and edgy "Giving Up"
to the catchy, upbeat "Cigarettes:'
"We took a lot more time to think about
what we wanted to do on this album. It's a lot
more personal;' says Uhl.
How will this hard-working, yet not-tooserious band know when they've made it?
It could be when they tour with their idols
Tegan and Sara, or it could be when they
can "afford a hotel on tour;' says Uhl. ''A lot
of times we'll stay at fans' houses, which is
awesome and fun, we really appreciate that,
but when we don't have to do that we'll know
that we're able to take care of ourselves:'
Until then, they'll take care of each other,
"touring like there's no tomorrow;' says
Farmer. But something tells me that for Sick
of Sarah, tomorrow will come, and it's looking
■
good. (sickofsarah.com)
BecauseI Can
DaphneWillis
(Vanguard
Records)
Withherthirdalbum,Because
I Can,outlesbiansongstress
Daphne
Willisprovesthatshe
is anundeniable
talent-poisedto dominate
the
poprockscene.Thenewalbumis populated
withradio-friendly
upbeatanthemswitha
countryedgethatcalloutfor a sing-along.
"I WillBeWaiting"combines
earnestyet
pop-infused
vocals;"IsAnyoneThere"shows
offWillis'sdistinctbreathy,soulfulvoice;and
theska-tinged
(a la SaveFerris)"I WantTo"is
impossible
to resist.Ina seaof over-produced
imitations,
Willisis the realdeal.(vanguardrecords.com)
let's MakeBabiesin the Woods
Papercranes
(ManimalVinyl)
Possibly
bestknownfor herturnasthe lesbian
feministcowgirlBonanza
Jellybeanin Even
CowgirlsGettheBlues,RainPhoenixnow
frontsthe alternativebandPapercranes.
Dark,
atmospheric
andmelancholy,
the band'ssophomoreeffort,Let'sMakeBabiesin theWoods,
tendstowardthe experimental-andwhileit
weavesbetweenmelodicanddiscordant,
it
remainsrawanduncompromising.
Manyof
the songswererecordedin onlya singletake,
lendingthe seta jamsessionquality.Whatit
lacksin precision-likethe percussion-heavy
"LongWay"-it makesupfor in richnessof
mood.Therock-leaning
openingtrack,"Shell,"
allowsPhoenix
to showoff herquirkilysweet
voiceand"SeaRed,"a '90s-reminiscent
track,
is equalpartsSmashing
Pumpkins
andCourtney
Love.A fascinating,
if somewhat
esoteric,
auditoryexperience.
(manimalvinyl.com)
■
April 2011
I 71
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Her Sister's KeeQer
Best-selling author Jodi Picoult takes up the lesbian cause in her latest novel. By Merryn Johns
easier for him to do so:'
With an estimated 14 million copies of
her books in circulation, Picoult certainly
has the reach to sway public opinion. "There's
something that makes me so happy about being a commercial fiction author with a wideranging audience, and maybe a bigger pulpit.
I think people might hear me a little more
loudly than they would other authors:'
In writing about the things she'd like to
vanquish, such as chronic childhood illness,
Picoult has attracted a family values-based
readership who might not be so toler'" N£wroR'
ant of unconventional families'
tribulations. Did it worry her
that this book, which asks readers
to root for a hopeful lesbian mom,
SING You HOM
"~"
E might see her fans desert her?
"When you look at the things
I've written about-from
assisted
suicide to stem cell research to battling the Catholic church and priest
sexual abuse to the division between
with her husband and
three children. "It's embarreligion and politics in this countrythis book, before it was even published,
rassing. I don't understand why it's even a
political issue. Not having the right to marry
got more hype and buzz and people upset ...
constitutionally, not having the ease that so I've had people writing hate letters:'
Picoult recounts one letter from a woman
many heterosexual couples have, seems to me
a gross miscarriage of justice. I have plenty of delivered to her hotel room while on book
tour in Toronto. "She tells me she has read
gay and lesbian friends and there's absolutely
everything I've ever written, but that she's
nothing second class about them:'
If it sounds like Picoult is preaching to the not going to read this and she's going to tell
choir, the prolific novelist (Sing You Home is her friends not to read this as well because
her 17th book) confesses she had her sights it is morally and biblically wrong to be a hoset on writing a book about the struggle for mosexual. And I wrote her back and I said, 'I
LGBT rights vs. the religious Right for some understand that you feel that way, and when
time. And then a very personal motivation
you read my book you will find your point
kicked in: Her teenage son, Kyle, came out. of view represented. However, you will also
see what the other side has to say. I really
"We were thrilled for him;' says Picoult. "He
was a different kid after he came out. So hope you read it: Well, she writes me back
much more comfortable in his own skin. But and says, 'I think the reason I got so upset
as a mom whose kid's gay: Now this battle's a is because before I got married I was in a
same-sex relationship for 20 years ... and for
personal one for me:'
Picoult, who writes superstitiously, as me, I think reading this book would be like
though to ward off life's inequities, hopes this being a non-smoker, walking into a room ~
book will help usher in equality. "If I write
full of smokers: Just too close for comfort: ~
a:
this book, then maybe by the time Kyle's I just sat there and thought, That's why I 5
ready to have children it will be that much
wrote this book! I mean, why should you ~
10nt~o,
PrcouLT
What makes one of the world's best-selling
authors turn her commercially-attuned talents to the theme oflesbian motherhood? Jodi
Picoult, said to be the higest-selling female
author after J.K. Rowling, and a firm favorite
with mainstream American readers-who
overwhelmingly identify with Picoult's heartrending dramas-has written Sing YouHome,
a book which may unsettle the very people
who've made Picoult so successful.
Sing You Home is the story of Zoe Baxter,
a mostly happy heterosexual woman whose
marriage falls apart under the strain of trying
to conceive. After multiple miscarriages, her
husband Max asks for a divorce, and deals
with his grief and drinking problem by becoming Born Again. Zoe, a music therapist,
throws herself into her career and her friendship with Vanessa, which unfolds into a deep
and unexpected romantic love. Complications
ensue when Zoe and Vanessa decide to have
a child-using the embryos Zoe had stored
during her fertility treatments with Max.
"I think that gay rights is the one civil right
we haven't granted yet;' Picoult says from her
home in New Hampshire where she lives
721curve
ILLUMINATING
READS
have to hide who you are, and if you
do choose to believe in God, what
god would want that of you?"
The fundamentalist Christians that
gun for Zoe Baxter, threatening to
destroy her dream of motherhood by
suing her and attempting to adopt her embryos was inspired by the rhetoric of politically mobilized Christian groups like Exodus
and Focus on the Family. Picoult feels that
these groups do a disservice to a majority of
Christians who are "very supportive of gay
rights:'
In depicting the struggle for family Zoe
and Vanessa face, Picoult felt so impelled
to capture them convincingly as lovers that
when her mother read the draft she asked, "Is
there something you want to tell me?"
It's true: Picoult nails the growing attraction between Zoe and Vanessa, and how it
reaches a depth of understanding lacking
in her heterosexual relationship. "The sex
scenes I could figure out;' laughs Picoult, and
"in a very delicate way explain what there is
to celebrate about loving another woman. I
wanted to do justice to that. Hopefully, when
lesbians read the book, they'll think it's an
honest portrait of a relationship:'
Neither the publisher, nor Picoult, is
prepared to whitewash the book. "I don't
want this billed as a novel about infertility.
It's much more than that;' says Picoult who
believes that those not supportive of gay and
lesbian rights must just not know anyone gay
or lesbian.
"I wanted the blue-haired lady in Nebraska
who's never talked to 'one of them lesbians'
to be able to hear the voice of one:' To that
extent, Picoult enlisted the help of a lesbian
musician friend, Ellen Wilber, to create a CD
of songs, which is bundled with the book,
representing the character of Zoe "pouring
her heart out:'
"I want this book to kick people who take
so much of their life for granted, and say,
Look around you. There are people here who
are not enjoying the same freedoms as you:'
Big Sex little Death: A Memoir,
SusieBright{SealPress):There is
no mistaking Susie Bright's influence in shaping today's erotic
landscape. Bright has a resume as
diverse as you might expect for a
fiercely driven visionary. In addition to being a sex educator and
helping to found the groundbreaking lesbian sex magazine On Our
Backsin the mid- 1980s, she has also spent
time as a college professor, blogger, performer, consultant, columnist, crafter and
curator. Yet Bright is especially well known
for her many books of erotica and her oftcontroversial public appearances.
Still extremely prolific, Bright is releasing
both a women's erotic notebook and her
first autobiography, Big Sex Little Death,
this year.
Always a force to be reckoned with,
in Big Sex Little Death, Bright illuminates
how her sheer determination to make itthrough her mother's mental illness and
the sexist socialism of her teenage yearsallowed her to discover the amazing radicalism of '70s feminism ( and its sexier
punk dyke offshoot), and how she began
her early work as a sex educator and salesperson in sex toy shop Good Vibrationsall of which inform both her life's work and
her new autobiography.
However, only the last third of Bright's
book explores what most readers will be
especially interested in: Her move to San
Francisco in the early'80s, her work at Good
Vibes, her introduction to the publishers
On Our Backs and her friendships with
the many other creative dykes living in San
Francisco at that time. Bright's account of
the tensions and triumphs of being a part
of such controversial work is fascinating,
and would make a great movie. Which
makes it all the more disappointing, then,
that Bright's subsequent descriptions of
her eventual falling out with On Our Backs
publisher Debi Sundahl and resulting
move to Santa Cruz to reclaim and recreate
her own life are rushed-as
fans will
want all the juicy details they can get. No
matter, though. Big Sex Little Death is an
entertaining read by our community's first
lady of smut and an important herstorical
document of a recent bygone era that
today's young lesbians may barely be able
to imagine. (sealpress.com)
Gallup'sGuideto ModernGay,lesbian and
Transgender
lifestyle{series),
Variousauthors
{Mason Crest Publishers):Despite this
reviewer's issue with a series about a LGBT
"lifestyle;' the 15 books that comprise this
series are wonderful. Chock full of color
photography and bold graphics, they are
lively and informative and will be appealing
to their middle school (and possibly high
school) aged target audience. Titles in this
new series reflect the seriousness of the
publisher's intent: To sensitively tackle
timely issues meaningful to today's LGBT
youth. These include Gay and Lesbian
Role Models, Feeling Wrong in Your Own
Body: UnderstandingWhat it Means to Be
Transgender,Gay People of Color: Facing
Prejudice,ForgingIdentities, and Gays and
Mental Health: FightingDepression,Saying
No to Suicide.Yet the books never feel too
heavy-bright colors and photos of queerfriendly pop culture stars will keep the
pages turning. The team behind this series
includes author Jaime A. Seba, a long-time
community educator also experienced
in mental health and harm reduction
recovery programs, and series consultant
Dr. James T. Sears, an educator and
researcher specializing in LGBT issues. If
you have a young person in your life who
needs some more information on a wide
variety of topics ranging from coming out
to understanding homophobia, this series
is a great place to start. ( masoncrest.com)
[RachelPepper]
(jodipicoult.com)■
April 2011
I 73
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Q+A~
Leslie Zemeckis
New burlesque has had a major resurgence
in the last two decades, particularly in the
queer community which has enthusiastically
laid claim to the risque and subversive
art form. But our favorite brand of racy
onstage performance has had a long and
tumultuous history-and
nearly died out
entirely when it came under attack in the
1930s and again in the'60s. Because of its
innately risque nature, much of its history
has gone unrecorded-until
now. For her
movie Behind the Burly ~ documentary
film director Leslie Zemeckis interviewed
a number of famous burlesque stars who
shimmied across the stage during the golden
age of burlesque. This intimate look
into an almost forgotten era shows
the human side of the artists, for
many of whom this was the first,
and sadly the last time they ever
shared their stories. Zemeckis
shares her personal experience of
making this amazing, enlightening
and sometimes heartbreaking documentary.
Howdidyoubecomeinterested
in burlesque?
I was doing a show that was kind of bur~
lesque inspired, and I realized I didn't know
much about it. Then I found these women
that had been former strippers, old time
burlesque-and realized burlesque was such
a big part of American history, but nobody
had ever told their stories.
11 _.
'J'
·t;~~~
.it
'
~==-'
NoSecretAnymore:
TheTimesof Del
Martin& PhyllisLyon
Thiseroticallycharged {Frameline}
dramachronicles
the
Nocouplepersonifies
eventsof onenight
modernlesbianherstory
betweentwo women
morethanDelMartin
ensconced
in a room
andPhyllisLyon,whose
in Italy'scapitalcity.
bravery
Overthe courseof the unfathomable
continues
to opencloset
eveningthewomen
doorstoday.Directed
gofromstrangersto
byJEBandnowmade
loversto soulmates.
available
byFrameline,
Alternating
between
the
melodrama
andexplic- thisfilm documents
andpolitical
itly sexylovescenes, personal
thefilm titillatesbutthe historyof Martinand
Lyonwhichinturntells
narrativeneverquite
resonates-duein no thestoryof lesbian
the
smallpartto an oddly rightsthroughout
Touching,
chosen,gratingsound- 20thcentury.
heartbreaking
and
track.Whileit may
it's highly
notbea masterpiece, informative,
it's searinglyhotstuff. recommended.
(frameline.
org)
(studiocanal.
com)
Roomin Rome
{StudioCanal}
74
I curve
Deadwood:
The
Complete
Series
{Showtime}
Setinthereal-lifecity
of Deadwood,
S.D.this
lesbian-inclusive
westernseriesintegrates
infamous
historical
figureswithfictionalcharactersto tellthestoryof
thisonce-thriving
gold
rushcity.It's rifewith
fascinating,
complex
characters-among
themlesbianMadame
JoanieStubbswho
strikesupa romance
withthefoul-mouthed
butlovableCalamity
Jane.Nowavailable
onBlu-raysoyoucan
witnessthegrit,grime
andpioneergumption
in hi-def.(sho.com)
PurpleSea
{StrandReleasing}
Inspiredbya true
story,thistragic
romancetakesplace
in a 19thcentury
Italianvillage.Willful,
defiantandunwanted
Angela'slifechanges
foreverwhensheis
reunitedwith herchildhoodfriendSara.The
two quicklyrekindle
theirfriendshipand
fall in lovebutthey
areunableto be
together-untilAngela
beginslivingasa man.
Compelling
performancesandscenic
cinematography
make
thisvisuallycompelling,
if heartrending
to watch.
(strandreleasing.
com)
Burlesque
hasmostly
beenleftoutofAmerican
historybooks.Doyouthink
thatwasbecauseit was
considered
workingclass
entertainment?
Burlesque was really com~
peting with something called follies. There
was a big movement by all the legitimate
theaters to squash burlesque maybe
because it was cheap and they were really
drawing in the crowds and taking them
from the "legitimate shows;' on Broadway.
Those theater owners went to the police,
they roused up the church groups ... The
follies had just as much nudity, but it was
a more expensive show to go to.
BehindtheBurlyamentions
onlyone
lesbiancouple,butwithsomanywomen
in burlesque,
wereyousurprised
that
youdidn'tcomeacrossmoresame-sex
couples?
Maybe there were a lot more, but out of
so many that I talked to, I know of only
one more who was bisexual. Lots of them
were just your girl next door but from a
lower echelon of economic status.
Whydoyouthink"LadiesOnly"showswere
justa temporary
elementof theera?
I think it got a little too risque, so most
women didn't want to go. There's only
so many women who go to a strip club
now. I just think there wasn't the interest;
they'd rather go see a matinee with who~
ever the movie star of that time was.
Whatleftthebiggestimpression
onyou
whenyouinterviewed
all thesepeople?
A lot of artists have a really similar story
coming from dire poverty and a hard life.
They didn't look down on what they did.
They knew other people did and they
held their heads high. They were doing
what they had to do to survive. Some
people just went into it, did some shows
0
0
and didn't really tell anybody and got
0
~
out. But others were like, 'Tm going into
0
i1i
g_
this, I'm going to be a star and there's
z
:J
nothing wrong with me, I like style:'
>I
(9
[LiskaKoenig]
:J
0
0
Tech Girl REVIEWS
Foxy Boxee
This gadget will bring a world wide web to your 1V. By Rachel Shatto
Whether you're looking to
"cut the cord" and ditch
your cable bill, watch
Internet and streaming videos or organize your vast
and growing library of digital media, there are plenty
of reasons to fall in love with
0-Link's Boxee Box.
This shiny, black little cube
of a gadget disguises the equivalent of a bunch of unsightly and
expensive computer components
that would normally be used for
the same purpose, finally pairing
the instant gratification of online,
on demand entertainment with the
ease and comfort of watching it on
your TV- I mean what's the point
of that glossy hi-def flat screen if you're
just going to squint at your tiny laptop
screen every time you want to indulge in a Cagney&
LaceyIL Word marathon?
Setting up the system is relatively simple and
the user interface is wonderfully user-friendly.
The Boxee home screen greets you with some
basic options-watch
video, look at photos, listen
to music-but
also a couple that aren't as so selfexplanatory: Friends, Watch Later and Apps. Using
the included remote (which features a very simple
design of only three buttons, a D-pad and a qwerty
keyboard on its flip-side) to select Shows or Movies
whisks you to lists of the most popular programs
and films available online, complete with cover art
and full descriptions. These can be sorted in other
ways, such as by genre or alphabetically, but they're
all tracked down by the Boxee Box from dozens of
online video sites.
While the latest episodes of many network (and
some pay TV) channels are available this way, those
looking to explore a show's previous seasons are
largely out of luck. This is exactly the sort of thing
a subscription service like Hulu Plus would help
with-fortunately
Boxee has announced it's coming
to the Boxee Box this summer. Available now are
Netflix Watch Instantly and VUDU (which is on demand with rentals ranging from $2-7). The content
and quality of both services is good-and growing.
VOICEMAILS
ARE
SOLASTYEAR
However, it's in Boxee's ability to catalog your local
media files-any videos stored on a flash drive, external hard disk or networked storage-that
it truly hits
its stride. The Boxee software will gather all possible
information for any music or photos it finds, which,
combined with the easy-to-use interface, is a treat.
The Boxee also has social networking abilities. The
Friends feature lets you see a live-updating feed of
videos your Twitter and Facebook friends have
recently shared, while Watch Later is a viewing
queue populated with any video you've flagged to
Watch Later while browsing on the Box, or even
online on your computer from sites such as YouTube
that you can flag to be "sent to" the Boxee Box for
later viewing.
Apps round out the experience, and are, as they
sound, specialized programs that run on the Box.
The likes of Pandora Radio, YouTube and flickr are
just some examples. (The Guild app is a personal
recommendation; swoon along with me over Felicia
Day, sigh.)
Overall, the Boxee Box is a great stepping-stone
to cable independence (especially as they continue
to add content like Hulu Plus), a user friendly way
to bring web content to your TV and a great way to
organize your unwieldy collection of digital media.
Fellow couch potatoes, rejoice! ■
Asanybusydykeknows,
checkingvoicemailcanbe
inconvenient
but PhoneTag
offersa solutionbyconverting
yourvoicemessages
into
text messages
or emails.
PhoneTag
hasbeenintegrated
intoeverymajorU.S.phone
carrier,includingAT&T,
Alltel,
CincinnatiBell,Sprint,Skype,
T-Mobile,
Verizon,
Virginand
more.Phone
Tagoffersfree
trials,andyoucanstill listen
to yourvoicemailevenafter
it's converted
to textwiththis
application.
Perfect
for business
meetings.($30monthly
tee,phonetag.com)
[EleniStephanides]
April 2011
I 75
REVIEWSFood
PrimeCuts
Meet the lesbian couple behind L.A. 's first sustainable butcher shop. By Rachel Shatto
Whether you're a conscious carnivore or an
omnivore with a dilemma, the politics of
meat can be a sticky business-but
lesbian
butchers and real-life partners Amelia Posada
and Erika Nakamura may have the ethical
solution that you've been hungering for in
their sustainable, locally sourced L.A. butcher
shop, Lindy & Grundy.
76
I curve
Howdidyoumeet?
Nakamura:She happened to be helping a
friend of hers who owns a cafe throw this
event. It was like a drag show that I had
some [drag kings] friends involved with it.
She found me on MySpace a couple months
later and I had just rode the New York city
century bike tour and so there was a photo-
graph of [me] fixing a flat. And so she wrote
me this long email about how she was looking
for a bicycle.
Posada:
Which was so not true. [Laughs] My
only interest was in Erika.
Nakamura:
So it was like this wonderful flirtation all through email. [Laughs]
Whatis a sustainable
butchershop?
Nakamura:
It's about generating as little waste
as possible. We really try to use everything
we can and so when you're actually eating a
chicken then you take the chicken bones and
make stock out of it. When you do that at
home, you start to realize, hey you can really
apply this to a business model and create
more products as a result.
Posada:
All of the products that we carry in
our shop are from 150 miles of Los Angeles,
so the pickles that we use are going to be
made by a local pickle maker. Everything in
our shop is very, very local and is seasonal.
Everything is just literally made with love
by people like us who had a dream and are
trying to make money off of their dream.
Howdoyouwanttochange
thewaypeople
eat?
Posada:We're the only butcher shop in
Southern California that gets in entirely
whole animal carcasses. Most people these
days get their meat in a box, and so by us
getting in whole carcasses, we want to utilize
the whole animal. We want to try to move
people away from the tenderloin, away from
boneless skinless chicken breast and encourage
them to eat the rest of the animal, which is
also delicious and can be more economical.
We give them recipe suggestions so they
will feel comfortable branching away from
all the common cuts that you can see in the
grocery store.
Whatresponse
haveyoureceived
fromthe
lesbianvegetarian
community?
Posada:I'm so happy to have an articulate
dialog with somebody about food politics
as a conscious carnivore. I love to sit down
and talk to people about their concerns as a
vegetarian, as a vegan. As the conversation
starts to become rude or accusatory it's just
not helpful for anybody ... everybody needs to
:'.i:
~
~
z
z
~
respect each other's food politics ... I've had
vegetarians kind of scoff at what I do and
then I look at their feet and they' re wearing
leather shoes, or carrying a leather handbag.
We all pick and choose our battles and my
response is that choosing to not eat meat is a
first world privilege. Once you acknowledge
that, I think people really need to put themselves in check ... because most people in the
world don't have that option.
Whatabouttheenvironmental
concerns
over
meatproduction?
Nakamura:I think that the environmental
impact that many people refer to are these
kind of factories, farming, feed lots where
there are all these animals that are crammed
in together and there's all this methane production as a result of it and it really is absolutely
heinous how that happens. The kind of farms
"At Lindy & Grundy's Meat, our stuff is 100 percent traceable.
that we support are small family farms.
Whatarethemisconceptions
about
We're totally transparent about what we do. We personally
butchering?
Nakamura:
The number one thing that always know all of our ranchers ... You're not going to get that at
blows my mind is that people think that I'm
Whole Foods. You're not going to get that at any grocery
a slaughterer because I'm a butcher. They're
store in the country that is corporate."
like, Oh my gosh, you kill things:' And I'm
like, Oh you guys, I wouldn't think of killing
a fly. That's how we both are. [But] I think
ents that are in meat-there should never be
people could start to do is to start eating
ingredients in meat. I was horrified; I mean I locally. Really looking around and seeing
the biggest misconceptions really are that
it's really bloody and really kind of pretty growas living Food, Inc. And that was it. I wasn't
who's in your community and what are they
tesque and it's actually not like that at all. ..
grossed out anymore. What's gross is the
doing. Maybe not shop so much at bigger
there's a really intricate craft involved.
fact that some people can only afford to feed
supermarkets and really go to your neighAmelia,canyoutell meaboutyourintroduction their families meat that has been pumped
borhood farmer's market. I think if people ...
with stuff that's hurting them.
to butchering?
give them their money instead of these bigger
Posada:My background is in floral and
What'sthebenefitof goingto a butchershop
corporations, I think that really does make a
overa grocerystore?
event design, I'm a super high-femme girliedifference in the long run.
Posada:At Lindy & Grundy's Meat, our
WheredoesthenameLindy& Grundy
come
girl. So I'm not exactly what people would
from?
stuff is 100 percent traceable. We're totally
imagine when they think of a butcher. My
Posada:Those are actually our nicknames
transparent about what we do. We personfirst day [interning at Fleischer's Grass-fed
ally know all of our ranchers and we have
& Organic meats] ... they were like, 0 K we
that our family and friends call us.
personally visited them many, many times.
need to take a different approach. So Hans
Nakamura: A lot people walk into a
Sebold, who's a master butcher from Bavaria, You're not going to get that at Whole Foods.
butcher shop and expect to see some big
took me to Wal-Mart [meat section] ... it's all You're not going to get that at any grocery
guy in an apron who's like, Whadda ya
store in the country that is corporate. It's
want:' And so when you go walking into
sitting in Styrofoam wrapped in plastic and
it's coming from who knows where. He spent
Lindy & Grundy Meat, you're not seeing
just impossible.
Doyouhaveadvicefor peopleoutsideof L.A.
three hours going over the commodity meat
those people. You're seeing 5-foot tall,
to eat moresustainably?
and factory farming and big agriculture and
little lesbians who are like working away.
Nakamura:I think the number one thing
showing me all the quote unquote ingredi(lindyandgrundy.com) ■
April 2011
I 77
REVIEWSGeek Out
Worththe Wait: BuffySeason Eight
Our favorite slayer kicks ass, takes names and kisses dames. By Lisa Gunther
It has been nearly a decade smce Joss
Whedon's Buffy the VampireSlayerended its
phenomenal seven-season run on television,
and yet the titular blond character continues
to be one of the most recognized names in
pop culture. Featuring one of the first serious
lesbian relationships in television history, the
show has long occupied a very special place
in the hearts of LGBT geeks everywhere.
Willow and Tara were our heroes, fully realized characters who were so much more than
the sum of their sexuality, and we laughed and
cried along with them throughout their epic,
and ultimately tragic, story arc.
Buffy proved that femininity and being a
bad ass are not mutually exclusive and that a
real family is not necessarily made up of the
people related to you, but rather the people
who support you-a concept near and dear
to queer hearts. She died (twice) saving the
world from vampires, demons and the forces
of darkness and ended the television series by
posing this poignant question to young girls
everywhere: Are you ready to be strong?
In 2006, news of an eighth season m
comic book form spread across the Internet
78
I curve
like wildfire. We could hardly wait to see
what our heroine and her band of newlyactivated slayers had been up to since the
destroyed Sunnydale "went from being an
outie to an innie;' as rogue slayer-and ever
the lesbian fave-Faith
would later say in
issue six of the Brian K. Vaughn penned arc,
"No Future for You:'
Buffy declares, on the first page of issue #l,
"Everybody calls me Ma'am now:' Indeed, she
has come a long, long way from the bubblegum-chewing teenager she was when we first
met her. She has now taken on the role of a
general, and mentor to legions of
young women.
The forty-issue season was originally conceived as 22-issue seriesthe same as the number of episodes
per season on the TV series. But, as
Dark Horse editor and Buffy Season
Eight writer Scott Allie explains, it
became clear that there was no way
they could tell their entire story in
that time.
"We soon realized that a) we
had too much story to tell, and b)
the episode-to-issue comparison
didn't hold water. The volume of
story is different, the way a monthly issue
versus a weekly episode works on the audience
is totally different:'
Despite the change in mediums, the human
relationships that were at the heart of the
television series continued to blossom on the
page. Thankfully, so do the lesbian storylines.
As the season progresses, we discover that
Willow's relationship with Sapphic slayer
Kennedy is still going strong. And one of the
most memorable-and
headline grabbingstorylines from the newest season is the relation- :
z
ship between Buffy and i
her fellow slayer, ~
~
Cf)
w
a:
CJ
0
w
CJ
:c
I-
if
~
LL
:::J
f9,
z
w
I
u
Q
Satsu-the seeds of which were planted early
on in the series, when Satsu woke Buffy from
a magic spell by giving her a kiss, and culmi~
nated in a provocative love scene in "Wolves
at the Gate:'
There was, of course, criticism at the time
the issue came out. Some saw Buffy being
with another woman as sensational-as
a
way to boost sales. "It's inaccurate;' Allie
says of the claim. "It foists upon Joss an
agenda that's simply not him. He doesn't do
sexually exploitative stories to boost ratings
or sell comics. He tells involved stories of
often ill~conceived romance, full of twists
and turns and heartbreak, but I don't think
that's exploitive:'
Though it is made clear in the comics that
Buffy is not gay, the relationship between
Buffy and Satsu helps illustrate the fluidity
of sexuality, and Buffy's open~mindedness to~
ward different kinds of love. Even though she
and Satsu do not end up together, their rela~
tionship is an important part of her journey.
Now that season eight has come to a close,
we asked Allie what he learned from editing
and writing for the comics. "The main thing
we learned in doing this season is that we
want to keep it smaller, on a more personal
level next time. That it wasn't the budget or
the constraints of TV that forced the show to
focus on the characters. It was the characters.
There's no reason to get too preoccupied with
anything else:' ■
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April 2011
I 79
TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
Jennifer
Chrisler
The fight for lesbian and gay
families is in good hands.
By Merryn Johns
As executive director of the
Family Equality Council,
Jennifer Chrisler has her
sights set on achieving
full equality for LGBT
families- but to do this
she must inspire as many
people as possible to help
make the changes needed
to achieve equality. And
as a mother herself (she
is raising sons Tim and
Tom with her spouse, the
former Massachusetts state
Senator, Cheryl Jacques)
she is especially committed
to realizing this goal. Here's
why we love her.
so I curve
7. She believesthe Federalgovernment
will
acceptLGBTfamilies."Slowly but surely the
federal government is adjusting its policies
to better recognize the many diverse families
that exist in the U.S. Some of the significant
changes have included passage of the Hate
Crimes law and repeal of Don't Ask, Don't
2. Shepusheshard,especiallyin Washington Tell-both of which are important to famiD.C.She took hundreds of LGBT families
lies. But there have been many other changes
to the White House Egg Roll when George
as well-the president extending some beneBush was President; she represented our famfits to federal employees, including considering
ilies by standing with President Obama in the
family status in housing allotments for state
Oval Office as he signed an executive order
department employees, mandated equality in
extending benefits to federal employees.
hospital visitation regulations so that LGBT
patients can have their loved ones with them
3. She translatesCensus-speak.
"The U.S.
in a time of medical need. The Department
government would describe us as an unmarof Labor clarifying that Family Medical Leave
ried same-sex headed household with two
applies to all parents (even if they cannot be
children. My next door neighbor would
recognized under their state laws) so that
describe us as great parents raising great kids
parents can take care of their children:'
who are good neighbors and committed to
8. Marriageis onlyone sliceof the equality
our community:'
pie. 'J\chieving marriage for LGBT people
4. Shehasadviceforlove-struck
lesbian
couples in all 50 states helps change the debate and
thinkingofhavingkids."Have great estate docdialogue in this country but we also have to
uments including wills and trusts. Write an
change the disparities in health that our community experiences, we have to ensure that
agreement up front about what will happen
youth aren't bullying, we have to make sure
if the worst happens and you break up. Do
it while you are in love so you don't do awful
that people aren't fired simply because of their
things to each other when you aren't:'
sexual orientation or gender identity. Ours is
a human rights platform and marriage is a big
5. Shehasgoodadvicefor lesbianspartnering piece-but not the only:'
with a womanwith children."They are not
just getting involved with the mom-they
9. Her"ToDo"listthisyearshouldmakeLGBT
familiesproud.1) Work for the passage of
are getting involved with a family. If you are
the Every Child Deserves a Family Act-the
going to be an integral part of the family then
it's important to have conversations about
Family Equality Council's signature bill that
would incentivize states to not discriminate
what role you are going to play. If you want
to actively parent, then make sure you know
in their adoption and foster care placement
what the adoption laws are in your state,
practices. 2) Help ensure that Florida continues
whether you have any rights as a potential
to allow gay and lesbian people to foster and
step-parent. Your best bet is to consult a really adopt. 3) Work with federal administration
smart, LGBT-competent lawyer:'
officials to ensure that LGBT families have
access to important government programs.
6. Shebelievesmainstream
Americawill even- 4) Continue to change the hearts and minds
tuallyacceptLGBTfamilies."More and more
of the American public about LGBT families
people know an LGBT family; they see that
and build community for the LGBT families.
our lives are focused on the things most fami10. Shebelievesthe futurelooksbright,and
lies worry about: Getting kids to school, par0
yet rollsup her sleeves."We will achieve full u
ticipating in our community, worrying about
~
play dates and basketball games, raising chilequality for LGBT people, but we will still :J<l'.
:::J
have the hard work of eliminating homophobia aw
dren with good values. As more get to know
and transphobia from the hearts and minds ~
us, more people will change their hearts and
~
~
minds about our families:'
■
of the people:' (familyequality.org)
1 . ShebatsforthoseLGBTfolksalreadybringingupkidswithlittlerecognition.
"I use my experience as a mother, a communicator, a fund
raiser to help me do the best I can for the one
million LGBT parents raising 2 million children in the
u.s:·
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Departments APRIL2011
A__._•-
IN EVERY ISSUE
4
6
8
10
17
20
21
22
80
11
18
I curve
Health: Many lesbiansloatheand fear the
gynecologist, but Dr. Lissa Rankin has some
friendly tips on how to improve your relationship with your ob/gyn.
26
Politics
Contributors
Letters
History's dangerous fashions prove that the
politics of the closet extend to what we wear.
Out in Front
Stars
Scene
28
Laugh Track
Why do lesbians love their pets so much?
Lipstick & Dipstick
Top Ten Reasons We Love ...
70
Music: Chosen family, Sick of Sarah, band
together; plus enjoy our monthly reviews.
73
Books: A new series of LGBT books
is designed to support adolescents.
Curvatures
We're spoiling four-legged family
this month with 10 pet goodies.
74
Food: Do you know where your meat
comes from? Meet sustainable butchers,
Lindy & Grundy.
Celebrity Gossip
76
Fi Im: Our picks of lesbian DVD releases
this month.
77
Tech: Organize all your media files
with this neat and nifty box.
Ladies, behave! Well, it wouldn't be
Lesbofile without a few hot messes.
2
24
Editor's Letter
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
-
TRACYCHAPMAN/ KIRSTENVANGSNESS / SANORABERNHARD/
JODIE FOSTER/ ANI DIFRANCO/ MELISSAETHERIDGE/TAMMYLYNN
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LYNCH/ K,0, LANG/ JACKIEWARNER/ ANNE HECHE/ MEREDITH
BAXTER/ JANIS IAN/ WE GOT THEM COVERED / ANGELINAJOLIE/
KRISTANNALOKEN/ JOEY LAURENADAMS / TALLULAHBANKHEAD
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CRYSTALBERNARD/ BILLYJEAN KING/ CHAZ BONO / LOUISE
BROOKS / AMBER HEARD/ OREAOE MATTEO/ CRIS WILLIAMSON/
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GERSHON/ LINDAFIORENTINO/ JILL BENNETT/ PEGGYSHAW/
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/ RACHEL
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LEISHAHAILEY/ HEATHERMATARAZZO/ CYNTHIANIXON/
WANDA SYKES/ RUBY ROSE/ GUINEVERETURNER/ SUZE ORMAN /
CLEMENTINEFORD/ ROSIEO DONNELL/ JILLIANMICHAELS/
BRANDICARLILE/ DEL MARTIN/ WANDA SYKES/ COURTENAYSEMEL
/ BETH DITTO/ DANIELASEA / MARGARETCHO / RACHELROBINSON
/ GRETCHENPHILLIPS/ SUZANNEWESTENHOEFER
/ CHELYWRIGHT
/ PHYLLISLYON/ CURVEMAG.COM / MEGAN FOX/ MTE MOENNIG
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CAMMERMEYER/ SAM RONSON/ LINDSAYLOHAN
1
curve
EDITOR'S
NOTE
Familiarity
Breeds Acceptance
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
APRIL 2011
LESBIAN
MAGAZINE
I VOLUME 21 NUMBER 3
Publisher Silke Bader
Founding Publisher Frances Stevens
Lesbians have children and create families,
even though we lack the most basic legal
protections and societal support. We do it
because, for many of us, having children and
giving them a loving environment is, in large
part, what we want out of life. And yet government, the law and the general public would
often prefer not to admit that lesbian families
exist. I loved the film The Kids Are All Right
because it delivers to mainstream movie-goers
a depiction of a lesbian family that operates
just like many other families. This family of two moms and
two kids is a little overworked, underappreciated, underfulfilled, undersexed-and
suddenly under stress when there is
a shift in the status quo. Jules and Nie may not be the poster
couple for lesbian parenting we hoped would hit the multiplexes, but out of the estimated 18,572 couples raising kids
in California, it strikes me that they have their counterparts
everywhere in the Golden State. Happily, in the movie, everything (aside from the infidelity) turns out all right. It is a
comedy, after all.
I wonder if such a happy ending is in the cards for reallife lesbian families. I was startled to learn from the Family
Equality Council (FEC) that 70 percent of same-sex couples
with children live in states that offer them no legal recognition of their relationship. And 54 percent of same-sex couples
raising kids live in states that do not prohibit discrimination
on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation. And in
spite of all the bullying-related deaths we've heard about in
recent years and months, only eight states have safe schools
laws that include sexual orientation and gender identity protections. Clearly, being gay and raising a family is no picnic.
But like the fight for marriage equality, the fight for family
equality is gaining momentum and rolling on, even if behind
the scenes. In this issue, we celebrate many types of family:
Couples, chosen, foster, non-biological, even non-human.
Yes, we have a special pet section this month.
Share this issue with people you love, gay and straight. As
the FEC's Jennifer Chrisler says on page 80, ''As more and
more people get to know us, more people will change their
hearts and minds about our families:'
~.
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Merryn Johns
Managing Editor Rachel Shatto
Associate Editor Jillian Eugenios
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Contributing Editors Diane Anderson-Minshall, Victoria A.
Brownworth, Gina Daggett, Sheryl Kay, Stephanie Schroeder
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
EditorialAssistants Liska Koenig
PUBLISHING
Director of Operations Laura McConnell
Senior Advertising Executive Diana L. Berry
Advertising Sales Rivendell Media
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Jamie Anderson, Kathy Beige, Stacy Bias, Kelsy Chauvin, Bree
Clarke, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Beren deMotier, Jillian Eugenios,
Michele Fisher, Lauren Marie Fleming, Lisa Gunther, Tania
Hammidi, Kathi lsserman, Gillian Kendall, Kate Lacey, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Ariel MessmanRucker, Alison Peters, Catherine Plato, Aimsel L. Ponti, Heather
Robinson, Laurie K. Schenden, Lori Selke, Janelle Sorenson,
Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Robin Miner-Swartz, Yana Tallon-Hicks,
Jocelyn Voo, Melany Joy-Beck
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Paul Michael Aguilar, Erica Beckman, Brie Childers, Meagan
Cignoli, Cheryl Craig, JD Disalvatore, Tony Donaldson, Sophia
Hantzes, Cheryl Mazak, Maggie Parker, Constance Parten, Elisa
Shebaro, Leslie Van Stelten, Katherine Streeter, Kina Williams,
Misty Winter
PO Box 467
New York, NY 10034
Phone (415) 871-0569 Fax (510) 380-7487
Advertising Sales (415) 692-5420
Subscription Inquiries (818) 286-3102
Advertising Email advertising@curvemag.com
Editorial Email editor@curvemag.com
Letters to the Editor Email letters@curvemag.com
Volume 21 Issue 3 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published monthly (except for bimonthly
January/February and July/August) by Avalon Media, LLC, PO Box 467, New York NY
10034. Subscription price: $49.95/year, $62.95 Canadian (U.S. funds only) and $71.95
international (U.S. funds only). Returned checks will be assessed a $25 surcharge. Periodicals
postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additional mailing offices (USPS 0010-355).
Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part,
without written permission from the publisher. Publication of the name or photograph of any
persons or organizations appearing, advertising or listing in Curve may not be taken as an
indication of the sexual orientation of that individual or group unless specifically stated. Curve
welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE for response.
Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions cannot be
returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope is included. No responsibility is assumed
for loss or damages. The contents do not necessaraly represent the opinions of the editor,
unless specifically stated. All magazines sent discreetly. Subscription Inquiries: Please write
to Curve, Avalon Media LLC., PO Box 467 New York NY 10034, email shop@curvemag.
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41
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CONTRIBUTORS
Sandi Esposito
KirstenOttPalladino
is the Editor in Chief of Equally Wed.
com, the nation's premier online same~sex wedding maga~
zine. She and her wife founded the publication after seeing
a void in the market when planning their own nuptials,
which earned them features in The New York Times and
The Advocate, and on CNN, CNN International and
CNN.com. A seasoned writer and editor, Kirsten has
covered everything under the sun from wedding trends
to interviewing the likes of Regina Spektor and Ludacris
to global travel. A playful free spirit with a strong work
ethic., Kirsten celebrates this juxtaposition by doing the
unexpected, such as jumping fully clothed into a lagoon
in St. Lucia, all in the name of journalism. She's equally
as passionate about marriage equality as she is about wed~
ding planning, which she showcases at equallywed.com.
Kirsten and her wife reside in Atlanta, Ga., and are
welcoming twin boys this spring.
Genevieve
P.Charetis a Chicago~based writer, urban home~
steading columnist, and blogger. Her work appears in
national magazines, blogs, and on her mother's refrigerator.
Genevieve grew up in a home where food was love and
both were plentiful. Strong women ruled the roost, an
immaculate house was considered wasteful, waste was
considered sinful, and the resulting free time was spent up
to no good. Not much has changed. Her life philosophy
includes trying everything once, writing what she feels,
feeling what she writes, Tweeting with irreverent abandon,
and not caring when she laughs so loudly that people
look. If she had a dollar for every time someone called her
"mild~mannered;' she'd have a quarter. Live out loud with
Genevieve at genevievecharet.com.
6
I curve
StephanieSchroederis a queer feminist dyke who lives
and works as a freelance writer in Brooklyn. She's been
a Contributing Editor at curve since 2007 and also
writes the Hooked~Up blog for curvemag.com. An avid
traveller, Schroeder is wild about Brighton, England ever
since her trip there last summer (see p.66). "It's so queer
in the broadest sense of the word and I appreciate that
immensely:' You can likely find Schroeder globetrotting
or hiding out at home rewriting her memoir~in~progress.
( stephanieschroeder.tumblr.com)
SandiEsposito
was raised in Long Beach, N.Y, and at the
age of 6 had open heart surgery due to congenital heart
disease. She attended Hofstra University and graduated
with a degree in radio and fine arts. She then married and
lived in New York City with her then~husband, where she
became an active animals rescuer at a high~kill shelter. She
now lives in Connecticut with her partner, Agnes, and
their pit bull, Piglet. She is also an administrator for the
website, thefashionpit.com.
LisaGuntheris a freelance writer and editor living in the
Bay Area. A self~professed pop culture junkie, Lisa was
thrilled to be able to write about her favorite action heroine,
Buffy the Vampire Slayer. "Interviewing Dark Horse editor
Scott Allie was awesome;' she says. ''And writing about
Buffy Season Eight? Let's just say this was probably the
most fun I've ever had with an assignment:' Aside from
curve, Lisa also writes for 57 Degrees Magazine, The
Potrero View and The Castro Courier, and enjoys blog~
ging about her favorite television shows, books and films
at lisasaysonline.com.
Features APRIL2011
30
Catching Up With Sarah Shahi
We loved her as Carmen on The L Word, and,
it turns out, we're dear to Shahi's heart as well.
By Marion Webb
32
Who Is Ruby Rose?
The hot Aussie celesbian has her sights set on
the U.S., and her sizzling fashion label.
By Jillian Eugenios
48
Weddings: By Equally Wed
Where can you get married in the U.S.? What
should you wear? Where's a "lucky" place to
honeymoon? Edited by Kirsten Ott Palladino
62
Chill, Baby
Sweden is oh-so-sophisticated, civilized and
gay, gay, gay, from Stockholm to the Arctic
Circle By Constance Parten
68
Ultraviolent Femmes
Rough, raunchy Roller Derby.
By Georgia Krokus and Katherine Wright
48
Family& Pets
This month we celebrate family, whether
they're the kids you're planning to adopt,
or the fur-kind you're planning to rescue.
38
Somewhere A Child Is
Waiting ... For You
You can have children in your life through
fostering and adoption. By Rene Rosechi/d
40
Lesbian Custody Loss
EquallyWed.com,
the nation'spremiersame-sexwedding
magazine,
deliversa sumptuousSpringspreadof ideasand
informationfor yourceremonyandhoneymoon.
Non-biological moms are losing out.
By Stephanie Schroeder
42
For the Love of Maggie
Natalie Garcia's brush with tragedy has
inspired her to launch a global animal
rescue mission. By Shannon Wentworth
72
Her Sister's Keeper
Best-selling novelist, Jodi Picoult,
goes into bat for lesbian families.
By Merryn Johns
e
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TAILS!
Reallife.
animal
rescue
stories
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page38
page32
COVER
PHOTO
BYCARLOTTA
MOYE
LETTERS
CHELYWRIGHT ANN BANNON SANDRAVALLS MARYGAUTHIER
past issue we checked into the clothing site
Dewberries Boutique that was said to be
how lesbians should dress. This was honestly
laughable. I would love to read an editorial
that lays out the intent of curve magazine
and the intended audience.
-Patti, Farmington, Conn.
Lesbian Looks Like" it's a great inspirationalong with being my favorite part of the
magazine. I have been truly enjoying my
subscription. Please keep up the great maga~
zine. One of my personal goals since I came
out is to be the person in "This Is What a
Lesbian Looks Like:'
-Jennifer Chapin, Laurel, Md.
Love For Beth Robinson
Cover to Cover
I have been a long time subscriber and just
wanted to give a shout out to the new curve
magazine's latest edition. I thoroughly enjoyed
it, cover to cover. Thanks and keep up the
great work.
-Barbara Bastian, Seaside, Calif.
Dyke Drama-less?
What
in the
hasn't
-Lori
happened to Michele Fisher's column
new issue of curve:' Please tell me she
left.
Clements, Fultondale, Ala.
I was disappointed to see, in the first issue
without Frances being at
the helm, Michele Fisher's
hysterical column missing.
Will this be something that is
permanent?
-Beth Capozzi, Denver, Colo.
Editor's Note: Unfortunately,
Michele Fisher declined to continue
with her column. But perhaps, due
to popular demand, she will return!
We'd certainly like her to.
Thank you so very much for the article on
Beth Robinson. I moved to Vermont 9 years
ago with my partner because of
civil unions. Beth Robinson is
our hero! She worked tirelessly
for our civil rights in Vermont.
Beth is an inspiration to many
Vermonters. We are grateful
for your kind words.
-Julie
and Judy Riha]ones,
North Springfield, Va.
Happy About Hannah
Loved your feature on Hannah Neurotica
in Vol. 21#1. Thanks for supporting
Women in Horror!
-Jennifer Cooper via Facebook
Thanks for the Fashion
I have never really bought curve on a regular
basis because it didn't have any fashion in it
and I am not much interested in politics. Now
the magazine has fashion I will be picking it
up from now on. I would also request that
you run articles on beauty, naturopathy,
and how to live a healthier lifestyle in the
city, also recommendations
for budget~
friendly weekends away to spas. I get some
of this information from
other women's magazines
but it would be good if I
could get it from a lesbian
magazine.
-Nicky, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Loving Les
Looks Like
I just wanted to say
that each time I see
the "This Is What a
Poll
How do you feel about
dating a woman with kids?
Dealbreaker,I'm not
33% ready
to bea stepmom
fi:
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27%
I'm OKwith it butwe'd
haveto takeit slow
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21%
I loveit, kidsarefun
19% and
I wanta family
I'm leery,I'd really
haveto like her
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to a curvemag.com
poll
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Although the editorial section of
curve is wonderful I continue to wonder
who the magazine is geared toward. My
partner and I are in our late 40s. We find
your magazine lacking in content for us. This
s I curve
<(
~
~LJJ
EMAIL:
letters@curvemag.com • subscribe
FAX:510.380.7487
GOTO:curvemag.com/letters
• renew
• payyourbill
• get missingissues
• changeaddress
• givea gift
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Fun in Fishnets
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Crime, choreography and lesbians in pasties-you bet we're
there! Check out our review of the fun, frisky burlesque-themed
film Fishnet at curvemag.com.
0
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The Big Easy Bounce
Queer hip hop artist and lesbro Big Freedia gives us an
education on the new, hot and oh-so-gay music scene in
New Orleans. Read the article at curvemag.com.
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She's an Animal
Check out our interview with the always fascinating and
inspiring out lesbian singer/songwriter, and Ani DiFranco
protege, Animal Prufrock.
Cl.
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Want more family fun? Check out our Gayby Boom, a
weekly blog by lesbian mom extraordinare Beren Demotier
at curvemag.com. From slumber parties to minivan hookups,
she's been there, done that and has the hilarious stories of
her misadventures to prove it.
~
cc
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April 2011
I9
Gayby Gear
Every gayby needs their obligatory "I Love My Two
Mommies" tee-it's iiber cute when you roll it out for
Pride but when it becomes day~to~day wear, let's face it:
weve been there, done that. It's time to step up your kiddo's
fashion game. Fortunately, the DIY clothiers, crafters and
milliners on Etsy.com are creating fierce gay~friendly duds
worthy of your fashion~forward former fetus. Ooh and
aww over five of our favorites-and get inspired to gussy
up your gayby's wardrobe. [RachelShatto]
SMACKDOWN
We'reas gagafor Gagaas
the nextlezziewith ears
anda bootyto shake,but
whenthe Ladyreleased
her latestsingle"BornThis
Way"we did a double-take.
Wecouldn'thelpbut notice
it lookedawfullyfamiliarto
anotherpopprincess'
singlecover:KylieMinogue's
"2 Hearts."Theangle,
the font,the makeup,it's
enoughto makeyougo:
Hmm?So,we're leavingit
upto you.DidLadyGaga
bite Kylie'sstyle?Orhas
this caseof divaduplicity
beengreatlyexaggerated?
Tellus whatyouthink at
letters@curvemag.com.
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1 Three-Piece
Cute
2. BoldBooties
Thisappliqueed
onesieandStriped
KoolKidLegstake
playgroundchicto
a wholenew levelof adorableness.
($8andup,etsy.
com/shop/mamarunswithscissors)
Thesehandcrochetedkicks
areout andproud.
Plus,they keepyour
kiddo'stiny tootsies
toasty.($15,etsy.
com/shop/curiousworkmanship)
3. RetroBonnet
Protectyourcutie
pie's headwith this
'70-inspiredrainbow
bonnet.Madefrom
100percentcotton
andfully reversible,
it's as functionalas
it is adorable!($38,
etsy.com/shop/
urbanbabybonnets)
4. TutuCute
TheRainbowBright
andmatchingheadbandmightbethe
mostpreciousthing
we'veeverseen.It's
all gaybyglamour
all the time.($25,
etsy.com/shop/littledreamersinc)
5. TheLittlestLefty
Hand-stenciled
on a 100percent
cottononesie,by a
lovelylesbian,its
the perfectleft-wing
getupfor yourliberal
babygenius.
($12,etsy.com/shop/
rainbowalternative)
April 2011
I 11
CURVATURES
Fur Baby Finery
10 goodies to spoil, pamper and glam your pet.
One of the best things about owning a pet-besides
the whole love, affection
companionship and special bond stuff-is being able the spoil them rotten. I
mean, who can resist the look on their furry little faces as they light up with
excitement over a new toy, or watching them lounge contentedly in a new bed or
perchr Plus, with so many amazing items out there to thrill, accessorize and pam~
per your furry, scaled or feathered friends, it's just so easy to do. Trust me, we're
experts. So, soup to nuts, whiskers to butts, we've got the lowdown on the goodies
that are sure to please your most precious sidekick. [RachelShatto]
2. Takea Ride
Cartyourcritter aroundin stylewith the adorably
cheekymombus pet carrier.Trickedout wheels
andrhinestoneheadlightswill haveyourfurry
friend ridingin style.Plus,plentyof pocketspace
meansyoudon't haveto cart arounda purse,too.
($90,mommybus.com)
3. LitterBox,Redefined
If you neverthoughtyoucouldget (really)excitedabouta
litter box,thenyou'veneverheardof ModKat.Rooftop access
meansyou'll neverhaveto dealwith litter beingkickedout of
the box.A reusableliner makesfor greatecoandeconomical
sense.Plusits sleekdesigncomesin a varietyof colorsso it
looksgreat,too.We'rein love.($180,modkat.com)
1. LittleMonster
Whosaidonlydogscan playdressup?Handcraftedandvegan-friendly,
theseadorablepet
hatsalsocomein devil,bear,unicornandmore.
($24,etsy.com/shop/xmoonbloom)
4. ExtremeKibble
You'llbe servingbreakfast
with a sideof streetcred
with this upstyledskateboard
petfeeder.Theraisedbowls
helpwith digestionandthe
boardmakesthemlook
goodto their puppybuddies.
Soundslike a win-win. ($75
andup,etsy.com/shop/
SkateDogStudios)
12
I curve
5. BirdsGottaSwim,
FishGottaFly
Thisamazingbird
cagefish tank is
thermoformedin such
a wayas to allowthe
birdsto be on the
sameeyelevelas the
fish. (constanceguisset.com)
6. PurrfectPerch
Giveyourfelinefriendsa roomwith a view.Available
in largeandsmalldesigns,theWavePerchis madeof
eco-friendlymaterials,coveredin softfelt, andis a perfect
spotfor nappingor watchingthe worldgo by.($169,
urbanpethaus.com)
7. Debonair
Doggy
Sure,yourpupis coveredin
fur,but(sadly)can'tgrowa
fantasticmoustache
of his
or herown.Thankfully,
the
Humunga
Stacheservesas
bothfauxfacialhairanda
chewtoy,whichis howthe
magichappens.Now,if only
theymadea monocle.
($12,
moodypet.com)
10.PreventLittering
Biddingadieuto that stinky litterboxfor goodmay
soundimplausible,but it can be donewith some
patienceandthe Litter Kwitter.Its set of three gradually
largerseat insertswill haveyour kitty usingthe people
potty in two months'time. ($60,litterkwitter.com)
8. Butchit Up
Nothingsayskick-asspooch
like a leatherspikedcollarevenif it's in bubblegum
pink-with matchingleash.
Alsoavailablein red,blueand
purple.(platinumpetsusa.com)
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9. CozyCritter
Hand-madefrom soft, washablefleece, the PetCosyis
a perfectlycute (andwarm)
hideoutfor yourfurry friend.
Severalstylesare available,
includinga polarbear(pictured),alligatorand evena
narwhal.($45,etsy.com/shop/
rikarika)
CURVATURES
the rundown
Present Prank
Give a fellow animal lover the gift of laughter by packing their
presents in this faux pet accessory box from the delightfully
twisted Prank Packs. The "Pet Petter" isn't real-we'd hate
to think anyone would want something that boasts "never
touch your pets again!"-but
its laugh-out-loud packaging
nails the "as seen on TV" product presentation so well you'll
have its recipient thinking otherwise. Just make sure you put
something good inside; the "six de-flea pads" do actually
sound pretty appealing. ($8, prankpack.com) [RachelShatto]
14
I curve
The Connecticut
Supreme
Courthas ruled that couples
who enter into surrogacy agreements will now be
considered the legal parents of the child regardless
of genetic connections. Previously, the non~genetic
parents were forced to go through adoption proceed~
ings after the child's birth. Now couples in the state
can establish legal parenthood pre~birth via an order
by the superior court of Connecticut ... A new study
ofTexasat Austinfound that the
by the University
men were more likely to forgive a lesbian affair than
women were to forgive a gay affair with another man:
50% of the men said they
would stick with a partner
who had a lesbian affair,
while only 21 % said they
would stay if she had
an affair with a man ...
Country star ChelyWright
told lesbian website Autostraddle that she has received
regular death threats since coming out in May 2010.
Adding that her record sales "went directly in half"
and that many artist friends in
Nashville stopped contacting her ...
,,,,r
school district
The Anoka-Hennepin
• _,
!,
has agreed to allow
in Minnesota
\
,·
Sheltonand
lesbian students Desiree
SarahLindstrom
to walk together at
the Snow Days Pep Fest. The stu~
dents, represented by TheSouthern
Poverty
LawCenter,sued the district
after the administration told the teens that they could
not walk together as "royalty:' Settling the issue in
mediation, the new policy states that students will be
permitted to walk with "a meaningful person in their
life:: .. BarbaraBush,one of former President George
W.Bush's
twin daughters has come out in support of
marriage equality. In partnership with the Human
Rights Campaign she has released a PSA saying, 'Tm
Barbara Bush, and I'm a New Yorker for marriage
equality:• She goes on to say,
"New York is about fairness
and equality, and everyone
should have the right to
marry the person that they
love.Join us:' Her mother,
LauraBush,has also spoken
took second
out in favor of marriage equality ... GLSEN
nonprofit grant contest.
place in the PepsiRefresh
The organization won $250,000 for their SafeSpace
campaign, which fights antigay bullying in schools.
GLSEN will use this funding to provide support for
LGBT students in 10,000 schools around the country.
[Sassafras
Lowrey]
'
HONORARY
LIFETIME
LESBIAN
EMBERS
HIP
OUTINFRONT
Challenging
the Standard
Two women shed light on
overlooked LGBT groups.
By Sheryl Kay
z
~
~
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~
~
~
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SovietUn-blocked
Coming out can be difficult in Kyrgyzstan, says
AnnaKirey.Families in this small independent
Turkic state-once part of the Soviet Unionare slow to accept their lesbian daughters, and
sometimes inflict physical abuse and psycho~
logical damage in an effort to "change"them.
"We know of cases of beatings, rape, house
arrest, disowning and kicking [children] out
of the house;' says Kirey, a 31 ~year~oldactivist
who was raised there. "We live our lives some~
what quietly:' Kirey herself, though, has done
anything but live her life in silence.
At 16, Kirey was an exchange student in
America, where she got her first taste of social
justice, read her first book about lesbian women
and fell in love with her first girlfriend. Feeling
empowered she returned to Kyrgyzstan and in
2004 helped found Labrys, the leading LGBT
advocacy group in her country.
Labrys addresses a wide variety of issues,
including education, health and legal initia~
tives, both in Kyrgyzstan and in other parts
of Europe and Asia. Now the senior advisor
and chair of the board, responsible for research,
international advocacy and fundraising, Kirey's
done it all-from
working on legislative
agendas to making late~night visits to the police
station to help those arrested for LGBT~
related "offenses:'
Today, Kirey finds herself back in the U.S.,
where she has received a merit assistant~
ship from the University of North Carolina
at Chapel Hill and is doing coursework in
Russian, Eurasian and East European studies
with a focus on gender, sexuality and history.
"I really want to make academic texts
more accessible to activists and activists more
interested in research and cooperation with
universities;' she says. "The more I dive into
academia, the more I realize how much his~
tory and social context matter in addressing
injustices. My contribution .. .is learning more
about my post~Soviet region, its history and
culture, in order to find culturally sensitive
ways to get LGBT rights on the government
agenda and to become part of the human
rights discourse:'
ElderAdvocacy
SerenaWorthington's
career in activism began
through art. Having spent several years as an
art therapist, she was building a successful
treatment program for seniors at a nursing
home in Chicago when she was asked how
the facility could be improved. Worthington
immediately thought to increase attention to
and programming for the LGBT population.
"I realized that there were LGBT residents
in nursing homes all over the country, and
some were most likely living in isolation-or
worse, experiencing discrimination, neglect
and even abuse;' she says. "Then I searched
the Internet and discovered, to my surprise,
a whole LGBT aging field:'
One educational conference later, she
landed a job at the Center on Halsted,
Chicago's LGBT community center, as the
founding director of the SAGE program
(Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders).
During her tenure, the SAGE program grew
from about four programs a month to 40,
and the number of elders taking advantage
of its services grew to over 125 a week.
While there, Worthington also learned
that many lesbians experience a lifetime of
discrimination. In turn, she helped create
comprehensive programs that addressed
those challenges in substantial ways, through
job training, access to benefits, managed care
for chronic health conditions, and estate and
health~care planning.
Today, Worthington is director of Comm~
unity Advocacy and Capacity Building at
SAGE's headquarters in N.Y.C. Given our
demographics-the
composition of our
society-Worthington sees much work ahead.
''As the Baby Boomer generation enters
the next decades, this country will become
increasingly older, and that will include the
first generation of [openly out] LGBT people;'
she observes. "We have an important oppor~
tunity, with the upcoming reauthorization
of the Older Americans Act, to ensure that
LGBT older adults are explicitly recognized
by the federal government as a community in
vital need of services and support:' ■
April 2011
I 17
LESBOFILE
Making Waves With rivalry, felonies, a new gayby and a new not-so-blind item,
we've got April's Sapphic scuttlebutt. By Jocelyn Voo
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GaybyAlert!
Congratulations to CynthiaNixonand fiancee
Christine Marinoni, who are now the proud
parents of son Max Ellington. This is the first
child for Marinoni, who gave birth to Max
on Feb. 7, 2011. But lucky number three for
Nixon who has two children, Samantha, 15,
and Charles, 8, from her previous relation~
ship with teacher Danny Mozes.
RatedR
Good girl gone bad, indeed. Out model and
businesswoman Natajah'Tajah'Burtonis set to
release a tell~all book about gay Hollywood,
and rumor is that the "Barbadian pop R&B
artist" she's hinting about hooking up with is
none other than super star, Rihanna.
"We hit it off and it became sexual. It
became really intense;' Burton told Radar
Online "It started off as friends. I didn't even
know she was into women:'
Of course, this is about as generic a phrasing
as anyone could get-but
then again, how
many "Barbadian pop R&B artists" do you
know? (Not that we're complaining.)
The author claims her motivation for pub~
lishing the dirt is to uphold the principle, not
to air dirty laundry: 'Tm not going to say
that she's a lesbian. I'm not trying to force her
to come out ... but I am bringing this to the
18
I curve
forefront because it needs to be discussed:'
Of course. Just like how Lesbofile is all
about the greater good, not for entertain~
ment's sake.
Beg,Borrowor Steal
Just when we were thinking Lindsay Lohan
might actually be able to get away with mur~
der (four-count 'em, four mug shots since
2007!), it looks like the long arm of the law
may have caught up with the troubled actor,
who now faces the possibility of some serious
jail time.
Lohan, who's currently on probation, alleges
that the Venice, Calif., jewelry store Kamofie
& Company loaned her a $2,500 necklace. The
jewelry store maintains she stole it. Charged
with felony grand theft, Lohan could be sen~
tenced to up to three years in state prison if
found guilty. Who's with us when we say, the
girl's personal dramas are way to engaging to
look away?
after the post~Super Bowl episode aired. In
the spot, Sylvester was being interviewed by
Katie Courie (playing herself), and in typical
fashion, Sylvester closed the interview with a
declaration aimed at Sawyer, that kicked off
the Twitter faux smack down:
f-
F'.
~
~
~
~
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- --'""-I
I
That'sHowSueSeesIt
You watch your mouth, DianeSawyer-Sue
Sylvester
is taking no prisoners. Sylvester, the
fictional, hilariously sharp~mouthed cheer~
leading coach played by Jane Lynchon the
hit show Glee,is now embroiled in a playful
T witter~battle with the TV news anchor
As all the Gleeksout there
can attest, you dont mess with
Sue. Here's to hoping there's
more where this came from. ■
(fJ
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She Said
STARS
April Power
This month is full of fun and mischief.
By Charlene Lichtenstein
Aries(March21-April 20)
Lambda Rams are full of exuberant energy. Let loose
and run with the bulls. Find opportunities to expand
your influence with important folks. You might not
make the best first impression but don't worry. If you
fail to impress, then press and press again.
Taurus(April21-May 21)
Some folks are talking behind your back but you might
like what they have to say. Mysterious sapphic Bulls
have a lot going on under the surface, from keeping a
good secret to maneuvering behind the scenes in corpo~
rate politics. Stay above the fray-at least for now.
Gemini(May22-June 21)
Don't sit at home and wait for the phone to ring. April
is the month to get out and about. Twins are able to
Aries(March21-April 20)
open the door and enter any exclusive group. Jump in
Thereis no moreinspirational
friendthan anAriesdyke. and get involved in a full range of social activities. You
Shewill alwaysbethere can expand your social circle into a globe.
to givea bosombuddya
strongshoulderfor support Cancer(June22-July 23)
andan affirmingwordof Be careful of what you say to the big bosses. If you
encouragement.
Hersis an can be diplomatic and ingratiating, you could snow
open,unfetteredfriendship them and win them over. Plot and plan, sister. There is
basedon mutualrespect, plenty of time to throw the bums out when you have
honestyandloyalty.Needto achieved your ultimate goal. In the meantime, listen
movea housefull of furniture? carefully around the water cooler and drink it all in.
Carwon't start?Gettingovera
painfulbreakup?CallanAries.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
She'llapplythe musclewhere
Travel and expand your horizons in April. Proud
necessaryandget yourmind
off emotionalmindgames Lionesses can make their mark and become interna~
with strenuouslyfun tionally known. If you are planning your great escape,
outdooractivities. check your packing list twice. Luggage has a way of
going astray. But you weren't planning on wearing any
clothes on your vacation anyway, right:'
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
Is it your perfume:' Is it your dazzling looks:' Why ask
why, Virgo:' Whatever it is, there are suddenly many
lovelies vying for your attention and affection. This
will be a lavishly expensive, unforgettable month. You
are bursting with confidence, sizzling hot and ready.
Are your eyes becoming too big for your stomach:'
Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
Are your personal relationships giving you what you
need:' If so, enjoy them to the fullest. If not, figure out
the flaws and fix them. If you are on the prowl, you
20
I curve
find opportunities to showcase your assorted charms
to a new and highly exclusive circle of so~and~sos. Hey,
one at a time flirty Libra!
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Do you like how you look in the mirror:' If you can
improve on perfection, do it now. Start a new exercise
regime, revamp your diet and improve your overall
health and well~being. Even a small effort produces
dazzling results that will wow the ladies and move you
into the center of the action. Swimsuit season is not
far away and swimsuits are often optional.
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
If April is remembered for anything it will be for fun,
creative outlets and maybe a dirty flirty romance.
Sagittarians are footloose and fancy free but that
doesn't mean that you need to go solo to make your
point. Find a party or three to crash and see who is
hanging out by the bar. There may be a tall cool one in
your future. Will you be shaken or stirred:'
Capricorn(Dec.23-Jan. 20)
Find excuses to kick back and entertain more at home.
Not only are you more domestically inclined with an
urge to cook, you also develop a keen eye for home
design. Gather your gal pals together-whether
it's
for a lavish dinner party or for just moving some fur~
niture around or maybe a combination ofboth:1
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb. 19)
Aqueerians seem to know just what to say to sway a
girl's mind. You have the gift of gab. Open wide. Don't
hold back your thoughts or desires. Explore your
neighborhood for treasures and rare finds. Some of
your more perceptive observations can be used to
further a pet cause or gain the affection of a recalcitrant
lover. And how lovely is that:'
Pisces(Feb.20-March 20)
If money has been a challenge and a worry, worry less
this April when some of your calculated risks could
pay of£ But even if you score big and break the bank,
don't spend it all in one place. It is a smart Guppie who
banks her dough and lets it rise for future eats. ■
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is theauthorof Herscopes:
A
Guideto Astrology
for Lesbians
(Simon& Schuster)
(tinyurl.com/HerScopes)
-
SCENE
Celebrating Equality Kicking off the LGBT award
season with music, mountains and Minnesota. By Merryn Johns
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GLAAD
HonorsKristinChenoweth
It's the biggest LGBT gala of the year! Join Special Honoree
KristinChenoweth
(1) at the GLAAD Media Awards, presented by
ROKK Vodka, on April 10 in L.A. at the Westin Bonaventure.
Special guests include Amber Heard and cast members from
Grey'sAnatomy and Modern Family.The evening includes auction,
dinner, Awards show and after~party to benefit GLAAD.
Nominees include The Kids Are All Right, Rachel Maddow
and Pretty Little Liars. Save the date for the final event in San
Francisco on May 14. (glaad.org/MediaAwards)
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AFERConcert
Elton John performed an exclusive concert on Jan. 19 at Green
Acres Estate, Beverly Hills. The proceeds, over $3 million, benefited
the American Foundation for Equal Rights (afer.org), the sole
sponsor of the federal court challenge to California's Prop. 8.
Pictured are LaraEmbryandJaneLynch(2); SandyStier(left)and
KrisPerry(3) on the red carpet.
TheaGillat TwinCitiesHRC
On Jan. 16 in St. Paul, Minn., The Human Rights Campaign
presented Her HRC Twin Cities: One Weekend. One Cele~
bration. For Women. The evening featured cabaret, light bur~
lesque and a special guest appearance by Queer As Folk'sTheaGill
(5). ( twincities.hrc.org)
LesbianAdventurerTopsKilimanjaro
On Jan. 15, Equality California Institute
board member Jody Cole climbed Mt.
Kilimanjaro in Tanzania to raise $19,340
for Equality California's fight for LGBT
equality. Cole, of Wild Rainbow Safaris,
achieved the summit at 19,340 feet and
returned home safely.
FamilyEqualityCouncil
On Jan. 29 at their seventh annual awards dinner in L.A., the
Family Equality Council honored several individuals who helped
enhance the rights of LGBT families in 2010, including Kris
Perry and Sandy Stier, plaintiffs in the Prop. 8 case. Also in
attendance were executive director of FEC JenniferChrisler
(left)
andJaneLynch(4). (familyequality.org).
■
April 2011
I 21
Titillating Long-Distance Tango
If she's not the one, it's time to make a
(kick ball) change. By Lipstick and Dipstick
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: My girlfriend, Tasha, and I have been dating
it will pass.Sheis sucha greatpartner-I can
talk to her aboutanything.Howmanywomen
for nine months. We live an hour apart and talk on the phone constantly.
cancomehomeandtelltheirwivesoverdinner
She's the greatest girlfriend I've ever had, yet I still feel insecure because that they want to be with a man-and have
when it comes to some of the most basic forms of intimacy, she shies them just giggleand say, "So that's what's
beenwrongwithyou."Sheis22yearsolder,and
away. I haven't said a word, but after nine months should I ask her about
it's startingto botherme.I've beenwith other
it? We've only tried to tango once before, but she quickly pulled away.
women,but thoserelationships
didn't last. I
was
with
my
ex-husband
for
two
years,thenI
- Flustered on the Phone
datedanotherguyforfiveyears-the fatherof
my baby.So my relationship
statuswith both
Lipstick:Anytime you ask yourself (or your DearLipstickandDipstick:
I'm at a crossroads sexesis notgreat.I am in a muchbetterplace
favorite advice columnists), should I talk to in my life and marriage.My wife, Julie,and I with JuliethanI've everbeenin my life. I am
my girlfriend about an issue we're having? have beentogetherfor four years.I have a happymostof thetime.Shedoesgetundermy
the answer will always be a resounding "yes:' daughter,who was very youngwhenwe got skinat times,but I guesseveryrelationship
is
soJulie'sbeena parentto herall her thatway.I'm sureI getunderherskinaswell.I
In this particular case, it comes with a slap on together,
the butt from Lipstick and additional advice life. I am turning30 soonand suddenlyI feel amsotiredof fightingandnotlikinghermuch.
to be witha woman,but WhatshouldI do?-Crossroads
Casey
using a dance metaphor (I'm following your like I'm notsupposed
I'm actuallysupposed
to bewitha man.I don't
lead). First, sashay over to her house-kick
ball change-then dip Tasha back and shake reallyhavea reasonwhyI feelthisway-other Lipstick:The truth is, CC, your quandary has
thanI'm notsureif I wantto be with my wife nothing to do with your G~Spot and every~
that tongue.
anymore.
I don'twanttojumpoffthecliffif this thing to do with a little thing called happiness.
whichiswhat My gut tells me you've never been truly happy
Dipstick:
Flustered, what do you mean "basic isjusta phaseI'm goingthrough,
forms of intimacy?" Does she not cuddle? mywifesays.Shesaysto "waitit out"because with anyone, and you're desperately searching
Won't change her Facebook status? Is afraid
to let her fingers do the talking? You say she
is the best girlfriend you've ever had, yet she
leaves you longing for more. What the hell
are you doing on the phone for hours if you
"haven't said a word"? Since Lipstick started
with the dance metaphors, I'll add one: It
takes two to tango. You need to open up
about your feelings and let her follow your
lead. Talking and communicating are not
the same things. Just because she's the best
you've ever had doesn't necessarily mean she's
the best thing for you. Our truest loves don't
leave us insecure. They help us feel like we
can conquer anything. They leave us feeling
complete. They push us to grow and be bet~
ter human beings. They waltz around the
kitchen with us while we're making dinner.
ex:
w
They talk about the good stuff and the hard
:,,:'.
ex:
stuff. Physical distance can be tough on any
ct
w
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relationship, and good communication skills
CJ
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~
are mandatory. Speak!
22
I curve
Lipstick & Dipstick ADVICE
What the hell
for the slice of heaven that the
great poets write about. Want
to know a secret? Happiness
comes from within. Get your
butt into therapy, open up and
have a look inside. Is the light
on? As Ralph Waldo Emerson
wrote, "Nothing can bring you
happiness but yourself' Start
there, CC.
are you talking
move and sleeping with
"the donor:' If there's one
thing Lipstick is right
about, it's that therapy
would probably help. If
you're unhappy in your
current relationship, there
could be any number of
things going on. Maybe
you're not a lesbian, after
all. Maybe someone your
mom's age isn't doing it for you anymore.
Maybe you have seasonal affective disorder
and need to move to San Diego. Looking at
this shit isn't easy, so I applaud you for that.
It's important-not
only for you, but so you
can be a good role model for your daughter.
but wheredo I begin?I'm 20. Is a prostitute
unreasonable?-Hot
Dykein the City
about on the
phonefor hours
Dipstick:Well, that depends on what your
budget is.
if you "haven't
Lipstick:And how hot she is.
said a word"?
Dipstick:And what services you're willing to
pay for.
Dipstick:Give me a break, Lipstick-this
girl is only 30 years old. Two, four and five~
year relationships are what's to be expected.
There's no relationship failure. Let's talk
not just about the gender of your lover, but
her age-22 years is quite a gap. No wonder
you're questioning. Kudos for talking to Julie,
rather than pulling a The Kids Are All Right
Lipstick:
You know, on second thought, don't go
the street route. It will be way more fun, mem~
orable and instructive to simply find another
young dyke and pop those cherries together. ■
Tune in to curvemag.com/lipstickanddipstick@
to watchthe The Lipstick& DipstickShow. _
DearLipstick
andDipstick:
I wantto bea lesbian, Or,writeto tv@lipstickdipstick.com.
-••
April 2011
I 23
ADVICE Health
The Vagina Dialogues
Don't be shy. Discuss these nine topics with your gyno.
By Merryn Johns
Most of us dread a trip to the gynecologist,
and with good reason. When it comes to
women's bodies-especially lesbian and queer
bodies-doctors
can often seem insensitive
uneducated, if not outright homophobic.
But now, California ob-gyn Dr. Lissa
Rankin has written a book that can help all
of us start to redefine our relationship with
the gynecologist. What '.s Up Down There?:
Questions You'd Only Ask Your Gynecologist
lf She Was Your Best Friend is based on the
premise that there's nothing about your body
you can't discuss with your gynecologist-just
imagine she's your best girlfriend and you're
chatting about Pap tests over pin.a coladas.
Inspired to write the book after spending
an evening sharing sexual stories with other
women, Dr. Rankin realized that she "wanted
women to have these intimate conversations
with each other as a form of healing:' Here,
she shares the essential steps to starting a
relaxed, healthy relationship with your gyno,
and your girly bits.
violence. We've had abortions. We've had
painful sexual and medical experiences. So,
having that speculum put inside you may
trigger all of those emotions, those past
memories that have not been dealt with.
Because talkingabout the vagina is rare.
When we don't talk about the things that
happened in our vaginas, in my experience,
they manifest: Infertility, eating disorders,
1. Askyourgynoabouttheexamprocess.
Even depression are physical manifestations of
gynecologists
havehadbadexperiences
at the things that need to be released and healed:'
gynecologist's
office.
"The introduction to the gynecologist's office 3. Don'tbe misinformed-OK,
clueless-about
yourvagina.
is often a very traumatic one. I remember
"One of the things that continue to amaze
mine. I was 17 years old. I wanted to be premed, so I thought, Great, I'll
me is the number of people who genuinely
think that the vagina might connect to some
get to meet a nice ob-gyn
and she'll be my mentordeeper, bigger structure-like
the vagina
might connect to the lung! One of the most
but she was just god-awful. I
remember her literally prying
common things that I found, in a busy clinical
my knees apart, physically, practice, was people coming in because they
and when I wasn't cooperating
had lost something in their vagina. I had this
she threw off her gloves and
one woman who came in because she had
slammed out of the room,
lost her tampon, so she went after it with
and I remember thinking,
a pair of pliers. She then grabbed her cervix,
thinking it was her tampon, and tried to yank
Oh my God, she's going to
her cervix out. She put this huge laceration
put a giant F on my chart,
like Bad Patient-she's going in her cervix and had to go to surgery:'
to tell my father. Finally, the
4. Untilmenhaveto endurePapsmears,it'sunnurse comes in to find me
likelythatthe equipment
will improve.
Butask
sobbing, but I agree to open
yourgynoto warmthespeculum.
my legs. The gynecologist
"It sure would be nice if we could stick
comes back in, but she's so
something inside the vagina and collect
irritated by this point that
:-.«iuitllJ.
the samples that we need without the scary
she just grabs that speculum
metal duckbill, but there is no easy way to
and jams it in me like she
do that, yet:'
was fencing. It was awful. So
many of us have stories that
5.Lesbians
feeljudgedbytheirdoctors,
butdocstart that way, and part of it
feeljudged,too.Builda bridge.
is that the medical system is torssometimes
broken:'
"When I was at the Gay & Lesbian Center
in San Diego for a Q&A, it was heart2. Speakup for yourvagina. breaking to me when women started telling
Keepingits historysilentmay horror stories about the judgment they felt
createlargerhealthissues.
from their doctors. It's just tragic that people
''As women we carry so many
would feel that their access to health care
traumas in our pelvis. We've
is impeded because they feel judged. I have
been molested, raped. We've
been on the other side of that, and I learned
been victims of domestic
my lesson the hard way. I was a brand-new
gynecologist and this woman came in, and I
asked her if she was sexually active, and what
she was using for birth control, and she
said, 'Nothing: And I said, 'Great, so you're
trying to get pregnant; and she said, 'No:
This went on for a while and then finally
she said, 'Dr. Rankin, I'm a lesbian: I was
so embarrassed that I hadn't approached it
that way, so I have since changed the way I
ask that question. Now I ask it straight up,
from the beginning:'
your periodr what is vaginal discharge made
ofr do little old ladies still have sexr-were
real questions that I got from people in my
Internet community, and many of the ques~
tions I was asked I didn't know the answer
to-they
certainly weren't anything they
taught me in medical school-like, why do
we have pubic hairr So, I interviewed the
experts. For example, for a question about
clitoral piercing I went to Elayne Angel,
who wrote The Piercing Bible. For questions
about the G~Spot and female ejaculation I
interviewed Dr. Beverly Whipple, who has
dedicated her life to scientifically document~
ing the sexual experiences that women say
they've had but that the medical community
dismisses:'
you call it-you can call it Rebecca for all I
care-as long as people are talking about it.
We must teach our children about sex ed,
because they might put a potato in their vagina
as birth control:'
9. Learnhow to choosea goodgynecologist,
anddon'tbeafraidto moveonif yourneedsare
notbeingmet.
"Sadly, these days more and more, you get
what you pay for. I spend an hour with my
patients. But if it's an insurance~based prac~
6. Gold-star
lesbians:
Evenif youhaveneverhad
tice, the doctor may not have that time. If
sexwitha man,or witha womanwhohashad
you have to wait longer than 30 minutes,
sexwitha man,youstillneeda Paptest.
in my opinion, find a new doctor. They're
"The human papillomavirus can be spread
booking too many patients, just to make
vulva to vulva, and it can easily be transmitted
money, and that, to me, is not a sign of a
if you are sharing sex toys. HPV, the herpes
good doctor. Come up with a few questions
8. Havea senseof humor.Yourgynecologist that are personal to you that you can ask
virus, pubic lice, molluscum contagiosum
probably
does.
[a viral infection of the mucous glands] can
them, or say, Tm a lesbian. I'd like to talk
all be transmitted just from vulva~to~vulva "I specificallywrote the book to be a bit irrever~ about my sex life, is that OKr' And if they
ent. If you want dry, reverent, medical~type
contact-or
from oral sex, for some of them.
squirm-how
somebody reacts to that, I
Absolutely, lesbians need gynecological visits, books about vaginas, they are out there.
think, would be very telling. I don't think
There's a great book called The V Book. But
just like other women:'
lesbians should feel any different about going
I specifically did not want this book to be
to the gynecologist than anybody else, because
7. Nomatterhowstupidyouthinkthequestion clinical, and I've had a few people come down
all of us deserve to have our bodies treated
is,don'tbeafraidto ask.
on me for all the euphemisms I use: 'Come
with respect, with love. I often say I prac~
''All the questions I answer in my book-for
on, you're a doctor, why are you calling it a
tice love, with a little medicine on the side:'
example, is it unusual to crave sex during
"coochie"r' My opinion is, I don't care what
(owningpink.com)■
WHAT A BAD PERIOD MAY MEAN
Five common symptoms of
Pcos.
Irregularperiods,weightgainandacne.For
(DHT)attacksthe hairfolliclescausingthinning
Highlevelsof excessinsulinthat oftenoccur
10-15 percentof womenbetween12 and
with PCOS
canstimulatethe ovariesto produce hair,or malepatternbalding.
45 yearsthereis anothercause:Polycystic
4. SkinProblems
arecausedbythe hormonal
largeamountsof testosterone,
whichcan
OvarianSyndrome(PCOS).
Oftenmisdiagpreventovulation,thuscausingirregularcycles imbalanceof elevatedandrogensandDHTthat
nosed,PCOSis the mostcommonendocrine
mayoverstimulate
oil glandsin the skin,setting
andeveninfertility.
disorderin womenof childbearingageand
the stagefor skinconditionssuchas acnealong
2. Infertility.
Theirregularmenstrualcycles
accordingto the PolycysticOvarianSyndrome andovulationpatternsin womenwith PCOS
thejaw lineor onthe back.Otherskin problems
Association,PCOSis "a hormonaldisorder
includeskintagsor darkening(acanthosis
nigcausemanyto be unableconceivenaturally.
that involvesmultipleorgansystemswithin
Eachmenstrualcyclepromptsa woman'seggs ricans)particularlyon neck,armpitsandgroin.
the body,andis believedto befundamentally to growinsidesacswithinthe ovaries.Asthese
5. CentralObesity
or RapidWeightGain.
causedby insensitivityto the hormoneinsulin." mature,oneeggshouldbe releasedat ovulation Insulinis the hormonethat allowsglucoseto
butfor somewomenwith PCOS,
hormonalimbal- movefromthe bloodstream
Whilethereis currentlyno curefor PCOS,
it
intothe cellswhere
it is usedfor fuel.Whenwe eatsugaryfoodsor
can be managedthroughdiet,exerciseand
ancesinhibitthe development
of a dominant
medicalintervention.Somewomenwith man- folliclesothat all eggsmatureandno dominant refinedcarbsour insulinproductionsurgesto
agedPCOS
are amongthe healthiestwithin
eggis released.Theremainingeggspersistas
keepthe bloodsugarlevelin optimalrange.If
the populationbecauseof lifestylechoices.
cyststhat produceandrogens(malehormones), we continuallyeatthis way,cellsdecreasetheir
Dr.AndreaLee,a naturopathicdoctorin South
upsettinghormonalbalance.
reactivity.Overtime glucoseis unableto enter
Floridawhereshetreatsa numberof women
the cells,leadingto elevatedbloodsugars,
3. Excessive
HairGrowthor MalePattern
with PCOS,
hopesto spreadawarenessabout
carbohydrate
cravings,fatigue,weightgainand
as
Baldingoftenoccursin womenwith PCOS
PCOSby sharingits five majorindicators:
moodimbalances,
experienced
by manywomen
highandrogenlevelsleadto stimulationof the
hairfolliclescausinga hirsutismor thickerhair
with PCOS.
1. IrregularPeriods
andheavyperiodsmaybe
growthonthe back,face,neck,arms,legsand
If thesesymptomssoundfamiliarseeyour
pubicarea.Theoppositeis truefor the hairson
seenin womenwith PCOS,
resultingfromthe
physician.TolearnmoreaboutPCOS
visit
the head,as elevatedlevelsof a potenttestosinabilityof the ovariesto producehormonal
[AshGoddard]
levelsrequiredfor a normalmenstrualpattern. teronemetaboliteknownas dihydrotestosterone pcosupport.org.
April 2011
I 25
POLITICS
Dangerous Fashion
The politics of the closet extend to what we wear. By Victoria A. Brownworth
We are what we wear. Or so says PETA
(People for the Ethical Treatment
of
Animals), when it demonizes the wearing
of fur or the use of other animal products
for clothing. (PETA couldn't have predicted
Lady Gaga's meat dress, but then who could
have?) And we are what we wear in other
ways as well.
For centuries, just as we have been defined
and judged by our clothing, or lack thereof,
we have also suffered for fashion, which has
sometimes proved fatal, and even today garments can be used as symbols of oppression.
From ancient Egypt to the courts of 16th
and 17th century France, women have used
26
I curve
cosmetics whose white foundation is full of
lead. Those infamous kohl-rimmed eyes had
deadly components. And in Rome, the use
of lead-infused makeup was so popularand so dangerous-that
some historians
think it precipitated the fall of the Empire;
too much lead caused insanity and other
mental disorders.
Hair dyes and hairdos are also historical
culprits. The dyes caused kidney and liver
failure. (Jean Harlow, the famous 1930s
platinum-blond movie star, was thought to
have died of kidney necrosis due to her use
of lead- and mercury-based hair dyes.) The
towering hair of the 18th century French
court needed to be styled so high-and even
included additional complicated tableauxthat the weight dislocated and even crushed
discs in women's necks.
And then there was the corset, which created
the infamous wasp waist. It caused tremendous
damage to women's bodies. While corseted,
women could only take shallow breaths. If a
woman's central nervous system was agitated
at all-by excitement or anger-the normal
autonomic response would cause her to faint,
because she could not take a deep breath to
counteract the rise in her blood pressure
and heart rate. The wasp waist had other
deadly side effects. Because corsets literally
~
~
1iS
z
'."i
modified a woman's body structure, internal
organs other than the lungs were impacted.
Diaphragms sometimes ruptured and intes~
tines were compressed, causing hernias and
leading to necrosis.
Foot~binding, one of the most horrific
customs ever to befall women, was practiced
in China from the 10th through the first half
of the 20th century. During 1,000 years of
torture, the feet of an estimated 2 billion
young girls between the ages of 3 and 7 were
crushed to conform to the ideal three~inch
lotus blossom shape.
In China, there are still elderly women
with bound feet, though they are among the
last. The Chinese Communist regime abol~
ished the practice in 1949.
However, repressive clothing is far from
ancient history. While few would call the
burqa a fashion it is perhaps the most potent
contemporary example of how garments are
used to symbolically and literally shroud
women: The headdress, with just a net grille
to see through, covers a woman's face and
head, and the corresponding abaya, a cloak/
caftan, covers the rest of the body. Together,
the ensemble weighs 14 pounds and is worn
over other clothing. In addition to increased
heath risks including Vitamin D deficiency,
osteoporosis and rickets, the social implica~
tions for women forced to wear the burqa
are sobering.
In Afghanistan, the Taliban used to force
women to wear the burqa. Any woman who
refused was flogged in public and could be
imprisoned. In the decade since the United
States invaded Afghanistan, the burqa is not
mandatory in the entire country, but most
women wear it to avoid reprisals. The burqa
is also worn in Iran, Yemen, Somalia, Sudan
and Niger, and in most Arab states, including
Saudi Arabia and Gaza.
Over 40 nations throughout the Middle East,
Africa and Eastern Europe require women to
cover their heads in public. They must wear a
scarf, or hijab,though their faces may remain
uncovered. In Israel, Orthodox Jewish women
must keep their heads, arms and legs covered,
but they may not wear trousers or pants. In
Sudan, where Sharia law has been enforced
since 1989, women caught wearing trousers in
public are fined and flogged between 25 and
100 times in public.
The burqa has become a source of conten~
tion in Western nations such as the United
from wearing miniskirts by the mayor. Any
woman caught in a miniskirt would be fined
500 euros. What's more, as every American
woman knows, men can wander the city
streets-any
city streets-without
a shirt
on, but if the police apprehend a woman doing
Kingdom, France, the Netherlands and
Australia, where both feminists and politicians
have argued that because it is so restrictive it
does not belong in modern society. In 2009,
French president Nicolas Sarkozy said, "In
our country, we cannot accept that women
Thousandsof years of dangerousfashionslater,
what women wear-or don't-can stillcost them
their independence,or even their lives.
be prisoners behind a screen, cut off from all
social life, deprived of all identity:' Last year,
the French parliament passed a ban on full~
face veils in public.
But Islamic countries don't hold a mo~
nopoly on restricting what women wear. In
October 2010, in Castellammare di Stabia,
on the Bay of Naples, women were banned
so, she will be arrested for public lewdness,
which carries a sentence of up to six months
in jail.
Thousands of years of dangerous fashions
later, what women wear-or don't-can still
cost them their independence, or even their
lives. Which puts a whole different spin on
the phrase "fashion victim:' ■
Where are same-sex couples
having and raising children?
FAMILYFRONTIER
70 percent of same-sex couples with children live in states with no legal relationship
recognition. The Family Equality Council offers this state-by-state guide.
.,
913
I
555
314
T~.-
279
1,665
1,762
118
5
377
• 843
~1,913
3,884
4,918
716
1,094
4,743
1,768
439
.,564
2,233
895
1,256
2,405
286
--
281
2,364
2,423
1,825
3,649
3,006
2,498
522
668 1,226
10,639
~3
[+--
4,371
1,233
7,494
..
534
-
Couples raising kids in states with same-sex marriage
Couples raising kids in states with another form of relationship recognition
Couples raising kids in states with no recognition at all
April 2011
I 27
LAUGH
TRACK
Pet Obsessions
Comedy couple, That's What She Said, face off on the lesbian pet issue. By Kathryn Lounsbery
Kathryn Lounsbery and Amy Turner are
best known as hilarious comedy duo That's
What She Said. So, it's no wonder that this
onstage-and real~life-couple know a thing
or two about lesbian cliches, in fact, they
have a song dedicated to them: "The Lesbian
Cliche Song:'And there's no Sapphic stereo~
type closer to these funny ladies' hearts than
that of lesbians lovin' their pets ( a little too
much). To get to the bottom of it, Lounsbery
sat down with Turner-and
their beloved
dog Edith Piaf-to
discuss their unique
family of three.
energy about this dog that is fun. She is our
Zen garden.
Howlonghavewe hadEdithandwhyPiaf?
Turner:We've had Edith for about six years.
Edith was originally Skippy, a boy rescue
(is still a boy, actually). "Skippy" never quite
fit-the name or the gender. When you and
I got together we saw La Vie en Rose about
the French singer Edith Piaf. She was run~
ning in one scene and you said, "That looks
like Skippy" and from that day Skippy has
been known as Edith.
Complete
this sentence."If a picturepaintsa
1000words..."
I knowfromourrelationship
thatyou'rea les- Turner:I would use 1001 to describe you,
bian,Amy.I alsoknowwe'reobsessed
withour Edith.
dog,EdithPiaf.Arelesbians
arepet-obsessed? Edith:I only need one word to describe you,
Turner:I think anybody who loves an animal mama. Love. Kibble. Turkey.
is obsessed-gay
or straight. Because we HowmuchtimedoyouspendwithEdith?
create our own families we project things Turner:A lot. Plus, she sleeps next to me so,
onto our pets-as children or an extension
apparently I have been exposed to the plague.
of a family. As for Edith Piaf, there's just an But what's the point ofliving if you can't have
2s
I curve
a dog in bed with your
Edith:[Sings] "If I can't have you, I don't want
nobody baby... "
Amy,tell meaboutEdith'swardrobe.
Turner:
Oy. I never thought we'd be thosepeople.
Apparently, we are those people. Edith has a
dress that we bought after asking the shop
owner "do you have a dress that won't cover
her penist Other items include an Elvis
jumpsuit, a banana costume, a Packers jersey,
a Breakfast at Tefany's hounds tooth cape, a
red turtleneck sweater and a rainbow~striped
old~time bathing suit, always a hit at Pride.
Edith was also on Last Comic Standingwearing
a top hat and velvet bowtie that belonged to
my dad in the 1970s.
Didsheadvance?
Turner:She did not. I think the pet world is
ageist. She's missing nine teeth. It's all about
new puppies, cute puppies, "Look at me I'm
sliding into a bowl of kibble, I'm hilarious,
I'm doing physical comedy:' She is cerebral.
And I don't know if everybody"gets" that.
You'rea singerbutyoupickedupa paintbrush
beforeyousangyourfirstnotes.
Turner:
My father was a very good painter. There
are pictures of me when I was little painting
and drawing. It's a way I have expressed mysel£
I feel very focused and complete when I'm
creating something.
Howdidyouruniquepetportraitscomeabout?
Turner:I have a dog encyclopedia that I got
when I was 12. I would study it, memorizing
all the breeds. A few years ago I thought: I
love dogs, I love art. I started doing acrylics
of dogs and then I created this technique using
wood grain paper. There is nothing better
than when people say "You totally captured
my dog in this portrait:'
Howdopeoplefindoutaboutyourartwork?
Turner:Through amyturnerstudio.com and
etsy.com/ shop/ amyturnerstudio.
AnyEdithandThat'sWhatSheSaidcollaborationscomingup?
Turner:Edith is in our new music video, and
check out thatswhatshesaidshow.com for all
our upcoming live shows. ■
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com
st~sHAHI
e first fell for Sarah Shahi as Carmen de la Pica Morales
on The L Word.The down to earth-and let's be honestdrop~dead gorgeous Shahi seemed like she might finally be
the one to tame Shane. But sadly, in typical Shane fashion,
Carmen was left at the altar and Shahi exited the series.
Thankfully, she didn't stay gone for long. After starring in
the brilliant but short~lived series Life, Shahi has ditched
the sidekick role to headline her own series, FairlyLegal.
steps to the top, and that was a giant step for me. And I
got in touch with lesbians in a way I never would have if it
weren't for The L Word. Not just emotionally, but some~
what mentally as well.
Didyoueverthinkyouwouldbecomea lesbianicon?
Am I? That's awesome if it's true. No, I never thought I'd
be a lesbian icon.
JenniferBealsandPamGriertoldusthat TheL Wordcastwas
likea family.Withwhomdoyoufeeltheclosesttoday?
Carmende la PicaMoraleswas a highlightof seasonstwo The girls were very much a family. At times, a dysfunctional
andthreeof TheL Word.Whydidthecharacterresonate
with one, but that's a truefamily. I haven't seen or spoken to them
audiences
sostrongly?
in a while, but if I had to pick one, it would be Kate.
That's hard to answer. It's difficult to tell why audiences react Youmixedwiththelesbiancommunity
formanymonths
while
Didit makeyouwantto fightfor LGBTrights?
a certain way to a certain character. I think for the most shooting.
part, Carmen was a free spirit. She wasn't tortured and she Oh, I've always believed in fighting for gays and lesbians. I
believe in equality for everyone. Yes, it did make me more
never played any games with people or their emotions.
Doyouhavea favoritememoryfromplayingCarmen-andis impassioned about their plight. It's maddening that they
it a lovescene?
aren't allowed the same privileges just because of their
sexual orientation. It's discrimination. It's ignorance. It's
[Laughs] The one memory I love the most is the first moment
I met Kate Moennig. It went like this, "Sarah, this is Kate. disgusting. It needs to end.
Kate this is Sarah. Sarah, in this scene, Kate is going down
TellusaboutyourlatestTVproject,Fairlylegal.
on you:' Oh shit! And which kiss? I liked them all.
FairlyLegal is like Sex and the City meets Law and Order,
Didyouimaginethat TheL Wordwouldbesucha success
and with way more sex than law. I loved the writing. I loved the
soimportant
to thelesbiancommunity?
characters. It was very emotionally driven, not procedural. It
I never expected that show to be as huge as it became. was a welcome change after [the TV series] Life.
Howwouldyoudescribe
yourcharacter?
When I signed on, it was just a job. Not being gay, I had
Kate is someone who fights for people's rights regardless
no awareness of what it meant to the lesbian community.
of what the law says. She leads with her heart and her
Only in the last few years have I realized what an impact
head doesn't always catch up. She hates the law. And at
it made. I get told almost on a daily basis how appreciative
people are for that show. It's quite a privilege to be a part
the same time, she's kind of a child. Emotionally, very raw.
of a cultural movement like The L Word.
She's also super fun and flirty-kind of a loose cannon.
Whatdidit changein yourlife?
(sarahshahi.com)■
Well, first off, my dinners no longer came from the gas
station across the street from my apartment. It definitely
This interviewfirst appearedin the
elevated:~:=~n
T:11;~:,:: ~~:-u_t_t_ak-i-ng--F-r-en_c_h_m_a-ga-z-in_e_L_a_D_i_x1_·
e_m_e_M_u_s_e_.
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Luckyfansof TheL Words
TinaKennardcanmeetLaurel
Hollomanthis monthandscorea signed
posterof oneof her beautifulartworks
at ClubSkirtsTheDinah(thedinah.com),
that famousdesertpartythat packs
a weekin Aprilfull of parties,pool
loungingandbrusheswith celebsand
musicians.Thepostersareprintsbased
on Holloman'spaintings,whichyou
canviewat laurelhollomanstudio.net.
Andherewe thoughtthat BettePorter
wasthe artisticonein that couple!
Holloman,
whostudiedpaintingand
sculptingat UCLAandthe SanFrancisco
Art Institute,hasactuallybeenworking
on a big installationfor a bankin Italy
that'stakingup mostof hertime.It's so
largescalethat she'sraisingthe roofon
hergarage,just to allowmorespaceto
work.Thismonth,Hollomanis looking
forwardto catchingup with L Word
fans,whoshecalls"the mostlovely,
mostloyalfansever.Andeventhough
the showhasbeenoff for a while,I still
seehowmuchit meansto everybody.
I
just hopeeverydaythat there'sgoingto
beanothershowwherepeoplecanfeel
that kindof connectionandemotion."
[JillianEugenios]
~
0
I
~
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~
z
0
0
THE FORMERL WORD
STARCONTINUES
TO LIGHTUP THE
SMALL SCREEN.
By Marion Webb
HERE ARE are many misconceptions about
Australia, most of which can be blamed on commercials
featuring products like Fosters, which Australians don't
drink, and the ubiquitous Ugg boot, which Australians
don't wear. And please, don't ask a sheila if she wants you
to throw another shrimp on the barbie. Trust me, she
doesn't (I did that once and it did not end well).
Australia is not the Outback anymore. It's a country
coming into its own, with cosmopolitan Sydney and culturecrazy Melbourne leading the way. We have Australia to
thank for many things, such as possessing more than its
share of the world's poisonous creatures, Nicole Kidman's
impervious forehead and a couple of our favorite lesbians,
including Mrs. Portia DeGeneres and the alluring (and
single) Ruby Rose.
Rose quickly garnered celebrity status when she scored
a gig as a VJ on Australia's MTV. Since then her career
has skyrocketed like a kangaroo out of a slingshot, nabbing
awards along the way and wearing many hats, among them
fashion designer, TV presenter, DJ, model, actor, international sex symbol and, unofficially, Australia's lesbian "it
girl:' She has graced the covers of Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Cleo
and, most controversially, "lads mag" FHM. Her dating life
is followed by the tabloids with the media often painting
her as a notorious party girl with a slew of broken-hearted
models in her wake-an accusation she denies with typical
Aussie humor. 'Tm kind of semi party animal and semi
nanna;' she tells me.
Ever ahead of the mainstream, American lesbians have
already embraced Rose, voting for her in AfterEllen.corn's
hot list, buying from her clothing line and hitting up
parties where she's the headlining DJ. Not to mention
those countless American girls following her on Twitter
and Facebook.
I sat down with Rose to talk Australia, girls, that
infamous FHM photo shoot, and how she basically just
"takes the piss" out of everyone. (Translation: teases everyone back.) I also did my best to convince the Aussie stunner
to move to America and be ours for good. As we spoke,
Rose's dog Daisy vied for her attention by running around
the house with squeaky toys.
34
I curve
Ruby,
let'snotmincewordshere:You're
themostfamous
lesbian
inAustralia.
Whyaretheresofewhigh-profile
lesbians
there?
Because I don't want the competition of other gay people
being famous. [Laughs]
I was outed within the first month of my job [at MTV],
and I was like, 0 K, I knew this was going to happen. I
didn't know it would happen so soon but I said it was true,
and thought it was going to go one way or the other. I'd
either never work again in this country, or I'd be really lucky.
I was lucky.
It's a bigger deal for people who have been around longer.
It would take a lot of bravery and courage to have had to be
a certain way, and then tell everyone this thing about you
that you know is going to go badly. The public sees it as
you lying to them for ages. I think everyone should speak
up about it, even if someone's parents are gay, or they have
a gay best friend, but I know it's not as easy for everyone as
it was for me.
Sydney
wasvotedoneofthe1ObestcitiesforLGBT
folks.Even
so,is it difficultto comeoutinAustralia
asa publicfigure?
We have maybe, what, 20 celebrities in Australia:' If
that. The big names, like the Nicole Kidmans and Hugh
Jackmans live in America anyway so we've only really got a
few that can be written about. You want to stay as commercial as possible and have as many people like you as possible,
considering how small it is here. If you do something even
little here, it's in the paper for the next month or two. In
America you've got hundreds of celebrities being churned
out with new reality TV shows, and new upcoming actors,
so you can get away with more there. The next day some
other celebrity is going to do something that'll be in the
media for that week so there's a lot of distraction and a lot
of people to hide between.
You'vesaidthatyourrecentmovefromSydney
to Melbourne
is helping
yourefocus.
Moving back to Melbourne was the best thing I could've
ever done. I bought a house down the road from my mum
and my grandma. So it's back where I grew up.
My focus is always changing, at the moment I'm back
to DJing and studying. I have designed a clothing range
for an Australian label called Milk & Honey that I'm loving
throwing myself into and it's going well and developing
nicely, so I want to focus on that for a bit. I'm doing a style
show on MTV not too different to Alexa Chung's style
show in the U.K. I'll do that as a full-on, full-time, twomonth thing, get it out and then focus on other stuff so I'm
not just hanging around the MTV offices being annoying.
I'm also renovating and one of my rooms is becoming a
music studio. I'm painting it bright pink and everyone's like,
What a lesbian. But I feel like pink is a musical color.
Themediaseemsto believeif you'restandingnextto a girl
you'resleeping
withher.Anyrelationships
totellusabout?
In Australia if sometimes feel like they make out like I go
LU
>-
0
~
~
g
a:
(3
from one girl to the next to the next, but really I've had
two girlfriends in the last three years that were serious.
Maybe this year the relationship will have to take a bit of a
miss. I always say that and then I'll meet someone in, like,
five minutes.
You'rea Pisces.
They'rehopeless
romantics,
youknow.
Yeah, but it's shocking though! [Laughs] I worked out that
the only times in the last three or four years when I've been
sad or pissed off or in a rut or when things aren't going to
plan, it's always when I'm in a relationship. My relationship always ends up taking the number one thing in my life
in a heartbeat, over everything else. And then if it doesn't
work out I have to pick up all the pieces around it. So it just
seems silly when I'm busy and happy and have great friends
that I keep finding myself in these relationships. I literally
feel like if I said to my manager or any of my friends, I met
this girl. .. they would just be like, Shh, shh, shut up, Ruby.
Sleep it off. Delete her number. This is one thing you're not
going to get right, so just give up on it.
Youmadeheadlines
lastyearwhenyoubrokeoffyourengagementto [Australian
model]Catherine
McNeil.Whathappened
withyoutwo?
Were still mates. Our friendship was there for seven years
before we even got together so it's so easy to go back. You
need a couple months off after the break up and then you
just go back to being friends. We just get along so well it just
makes sense now that that's what we needed to be. When
you do love someone to that extent you're like, Are you my
friend? Or are you my future wife? Because theres that real
fine line in the gay community, you know?
I do. Speakingof the gay community,
you were recently
embroiledin a bit of controversy.
Youwereon the coverof
the men'smagazineFHM,makingyouthe first out lesbian
to do so,whichsparkeda lot of controversy.
Whatdo you
sayaboutit?
Look, I'm cheeky. I mean, I love to play with fire. And I do
like a bit of controversy. Of the previous 10 times they'd
-~----------..W<:ed
me I'd been like, Ew! I'm not going to be on FHM.
It'
• g. Then for some reason, after three years,
they ffilppened to ask last it was when so many great
~s
w~r/happening in my life. It wasn't like I needed
~ to do the shoot for money or publicity beLAND
OFMILK
ANDHONEY cause I didn't need either. I thought, I have
J
RubyRoserecentlylaunched a choice to do this shoot and I'd be the first
herfashionline,Milk& Honey, Australian lesbian to be on the cover of that
ona Melbourne
streetcar.
men's magazine, which I think is hilarious
Thecasualrange,witha club
and really ironic. Plus, when I was young I
kidslook,includes
distressed used to read all the men's mags.
jeans,leatherjackets,denim
It was shot in a massive props studio by
skirtsandoversized
T-shirts,
Carlotta Moye. She shoots for Vogue, she
andisavailable
internationally
shoots for Harper's, she shoots Miranda
online.(incityfashion.com.
au/Milk-Honey-by-Ruby- [Kerr] and is an amazing photographer
Rose-Cl4.aspx). who travels the world shooting interesting
things. So I said to FHM, if you can get
Carlotta to do the photos I'll do the shoot, and we need
this assistant and this make-up artist. It was more like
we hijacked FHM and said, We're here! And FHM were
amazingly supportive in making the shoot as comfortable
36
I curve
for me as possible by agreeing to that.
I chose to have the other girl in it because I didn't want
to do it just by mysel£ How many pictures of me, standing
there, trying to look sexy, can I get away with before people
go, Shes really awkward and looks really weird?
WhenFHM,hitthestands,peoplesat in two camps:Thefirst
wasin support,
callingit a hotstepforwardforlesbianvisibility.Otherscalledit a stepbackward
forfemaleequality;
selfpromotion
through
exploitation.
Whatdoyouthink?
The pictures in FHM are really no more sexy or less sexy
than photos I've done for copious amounts of other magazines. It's just that it's in the context of FHM and that
makes it seem scandalous or whatever, but if you read the
interview you'll see that it's pretty tame. I talk about how
much better it is to be a lesbian and that there's absolutely no chance I would ever be with a guy, that I find
the fascination that guys have with lesbians to be absurd
and that men have a misunderstanding that two girls can't
be happy without a man. I make fun of the fact that men
think that when it comes to lesbians there's going to be a
threesome in a week. I kind of take the piss out of everything-including
mysel£
Perhaps
youalsochallenged
stereotypes
oflesbians
andmade
menwho haveneverspokento a lesbianreadan interview
withone.
They tried to be funny and ask cheeky questions. They
asked me, "If you were going to watch porn what would
you watch?" And I said, "You're not going to like my answer
because it's going to make my audience even smaller:' I'm
not really into porn, but the only porn I've ever watched is
gay man porn.
So there I was not only saying that I am not interested in
men, but thanks for paying your $9 for the magazine, I also
don't like watching men and women have sex. I'd prefer to
watch two gay men. So, at the very end it was edited [from
the interview]. I thought it was hilarious but my manager
was like, Who exactly are you appealing to? Gay men?
They're never going to pick this magazine up. Ever. So it
was all quite funny.
Soanychanceyou'llbe comingstateside?
Wehavesqueaky
toysheresoDaisycancome,too.
If I did it, it would be this year and might be first off an
American DJ tour-sort
of DJ around L.A. and New
York, and everywhere in-between. Just to kind of put my
feet in the water and take it slow. I'd love to work over there,
and we always have our feelers out for opportunities in TV,
film, interesting ideas-but I love Australia too. Spending
six months in Australia and six months in the U.S. would
be ideal for me.
Youmaywantto practiceyourbestAmerican
accent.
[Laughs] No way! When I was in L.A. recently I did an
American accent the whole time just to get into the flow of
it. I'd speak in an American accent and no one really blinked.
But then I'd walk into a shop and if there was a really good
looking girl behind the counter asking ifl wanted help suddenly it's like, Oh, g'day mate. How are ya, love? It's like I
couldn't lie. I couldn't have her thinking I was American
when I'm clearly Australian. (twitter.com/rubyrosel) ■
"Gays and lesbians
are a small but
critical proportion
of the parents who
are adopting from
foster care all over
the country."
idan and Giovoni are outgoing, affec~
tionate brothers with black hair and
warm smiles. When they were 2 and
3 years old, they were found walking
to Burger King. Social Services learned that their parents
had drug problems and were neglecting, possibly abusing
the boys, and put them into foster care. And following an
incident in which their father hit them during a parenting
class, the state terminated parental rights. Giovoni, who suf~
fers from more severe problems, went to live in a residential
treatment home, while Aidan was placed with a family who
initially intended to adopt him-but
then changed their
minds, throwing him back into the foster system.
Delaney and Elisha are a likable young lesbian couple
who live in a suburb of Denver. After several difficult
years trying to get pregnant, they turned to adoption.
They investigated domestic and international adoption,
but elected instead to open their home to a child who
needed a family. They contacted their local Department
of Human Services, went through classes and background
checks, and then they waited. That's when they met Aidan.
Less than a month later, Aidan came to live with them. For
Delaney and Elisha this was the beginning of the family
they dreamed of and for Aidan it was the safe and loving
family he needed. After the family visited Giovoni at his
residential facility, they decided to adopt him, too.
What began as domestic tragedy has become a wonderful
success story: Delaney, Elisha, Aidan, now 6, and Giovoni,
now 7, have formed a family. Delaney quit her job to stay
home and take care of the boys, who are thriving. It's chal~
lenging, with therapy, doctor, and school appointments every
week, but it's paying off. Both boys are doing well.
There are about half a million Aidans and Giovonis in
foster care in the U.S. All of them need homes and families,
gay or straight. "Kids do not grow up well in institutions;'
says Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B.
Donaldson Adoption Institute. "They grow up well in
families, and gays and lesbians are offering those families;
that's the bottom line:'
For lesbians looking to start a family, it's a worthy path to
consider, as it's one place where lesbian parents are welcomed.
As Dr. Dixie van de Flier Davis, executive director of The
Adoption Exchange told me, "We welcome you; don't be
afraid of us. We are excited to talk with you:'
The first thing Adam Pertman wants lesbians to know
about adopting a child in the foster care system is, "You can.
Gays and lesbians are a small but critical proportion of the
parents who are adopting from foster care allover the country:'
Another advantage is cost-next to nothing. Many states
even provide adoption subsidies and medical insurance.
"The important thing to keep in mind is why we're doing
this, and that is, while it's wonderful to have kids whom
adults want to parent, adoption is mainly about finding
parents for kids who need them, and that's the void that so
many gay and lesbian people are filling;' says Pertman.
If you decide on this form of adoption, start by calling
your local county human services agency. Explain to them
that you're a lesbian couple or single woman who wants to
adopt. If they don't welcome you-and chances are they
will-contact
the Human Rights Campaign (hrc.org)
to ask about gay~friendly agencies in your area. Or, you
can contact Adoption Exchange (adoptex.org) to find an
agency to work with. You will have to pass a background
check, take classes and have a home visit. You'll also have
the opportunity to tell them what age, sex and attributes
somewhere
a child is
waiting ...
for you
By Rene Rosechild
you are open to. The whole process will likely take around
a year, which is significantly faster and cheaper than other
approaches to adoption.
Many children in foster care are older, although some are
infants. Most of them are minority and many have physical
or mental challenges. They've all suffered neglect or abuse
and been through the foster care system, so often they have
problems with trust and attachment. Dr. Davis says, "I
understand if someone who's considering this gets nervous
about it. We will share everything we know with you about
the child ... but probably we don't know everything. You're
going to spend the rest of your life uncovering all the
possibilities, and discovering this child, and there will be
surprises-frightening
surprises and glorious surprises
along that journey as you raise the child:' Adam Pertman
told me that in general, these kids do just fine, and research
shows that they do at least as well in gay and lesbian homes
as in straight families, "because gays and lesbians-no
shock-provide perfectly good homes for kids:'
The reward is not only an opportunity to parent, but to
provide a home and family for a child who needs one. It
may be more challenging, but as Delaney and Elisha can
attest, it's more meaningful. There's a feeling of positive
accomplishment that comes from giving hope to a child.
In essence, you are building on the love you share to give a
child hope for the future. ■
April 2011
I 39
Does biology really equal
destiny? Non-biological
lesbian mothers struggle
for their right to maintain
contact with their children.
lesbian custody loss
By Stephanie Shroeder
y all accounts Frankie Travis is a loving, caring
and responsive parent. But she was torn from
her 10-year-old daughter Jennifer* after the
Sonoma County, Cali£ court drastically
changed Travis' full joint legal and physical
custody arrangement with her former partner
in the fall of 2009.
"It's like my daughter has been kidnapped and I can't go
to the authorities because they played a part in the crime;'
says Travis. She said she waited months to start the courtordered hour and 40-minute supervised visitations due to
her former partner's "evasion and delays, [which] played a
crucial part in alienating me from Jennifer;' laments Travis,
whose daughter has since been appointed her own attorney
who recommended"reunification counseling" that was also
ordered by the court. "I want to rock 'n' roll;' says Travis,
eager to reunite permanently with her daughter, "but the
court system does not move that fast:'
Travis is not alone; there are thousands of similar lesbian
40
I curve
custody scenarios playing out around the country. Kate
Kendall, executive director of the National Center for
Lesbian Rights (NCLR) says that organization saw nonbiological LGBT parents fighting for rights begin "as a
trickle in 1996. Then, as a tidal wave from 2000 to the
present, the majority of our custody cases have become
disputes between and among a lesbian couples. In the
first years of NCLR's existence, the cases almost always
involved heterosexual couples and us representing a gay
dad or lesbian mom:'
The change in demographics, of the proportion oflesbians having children together in the first instance, and the
subsequent breakup of lesbian relationships, often leaves
non-bio lesbian parents without legal recourse.
The NCLR and others are working hard to change that.
"Our position, and the law we've been able to develop in
some states to protect the right of the parents, is irrespective
of biology and regardless of whether they have marriage or
domestic partnership;' says Kendall.Travis and her ex in fact
did have a domestic partnership, which is the main reason
Travis was awarded full joint legal and physical custody in
2005. She is currently trying to regain full joint custody.
Nanette Gartrell, M.D., is an associate clinical professor of
psychiatry at the Center of Excellence in Women's Health
for the University of California, San Francisco and founded
the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family (NLLFS)
Study to investigate the lives of lesbian moms and their
children in the United States. Gartrell indicates lesbian
custody disputes are very similar to heterosexual custody
cases in terms of the level of anger, frustration and vindic,
tiveness. She also adds that the most important person to
consider in any custody dispute is, of course, the child.
Another non,biological lesbian co,parent caught in the
crossfire of an ugly custody battle and inadequate legal
system is Linda Rice.* Rice lives in the Midwest and a
month before Thanksgiving 2009 was handed a decision
denying her any access to her four,year,old twins.
Rice now says she questions everything, including
humanity. "How can someone do thisr I mean was [my
former partner] fraudulent then, toor Or is she just being
fraudulent nowr I've been reflecting on this for almost three
years, since she sent an email breaking off any relationship
between me and the twins:' Rice lives in a county where
second parent adoption is encouraged and she had
planned to take advantage of that, but her former partner
kept making excuses and delaying the process so it never
happened. "The judge seemed very sympathetic and all his
writings seem to be going our way. Then someone got to
him or he lost his nerve and just dismissed my case:' She
has no real recourse. "I could appeal, but as my lawyer plays
it out [the judge] had his opportunity and it would go right
back to his court on appeal and judges don't want to look
foolish. It's really hard for me to accept that there's no help:'
There is a common theme among many non,bio lesbian
moms regarding the mystery surrounding the loss of first,
their primary adult relationship and second, their children.
They are baffled by the dramatic change in the woman they
once loved and formed a family with to someone they now
see as a controlling, narcissistic, inflexible and often vicious
person who will lie, throw accusations and stop at nothing
to prevent them from gaining access to their children.
Amanda Mullins is the non,bio mother of James* and
lives in Indiana. Her former partner moved to Ohio with
their child to be with another woman a few months after
they split. 'Tm pretty young;' says Mullins, 'Tm not even
30 and I don't have $10,000 to retain an attorney:'
Mullins hadn't seen her son since October 2009. She
was able to make contact with her ex,partner, who has
since split with the other woman, and now allows Mullins
to see her son every other weekend. However, Mullins is
not allowed to take him out of the state of Ohio to her
own home in neighboring Indiana. "I just try to enjoy the
time I do get with him;' she says. She does not broach the
topic of legal custody with her ex because she does not
want to risk losing contact with her son again.
A recent high,profile lesbian custody dispute that has
garnered much attention is the Milledenkins case. In that
case, a non,biological lesbian co,parent (Janet Jenkins)
in 2009 was awarded full custody of her then 7 ,year,old
daughter. However, Lisa Miller,Jenkins' now"ex,gay" former
partner took the child and disappeared and, as of this writ,
ing, has still not surfaced to return the child to Jenkins.
Kendall of NCLR says, "What's remarkable about the
Millerjenkins saga and the latest court ruling is that they
are a lesbian couple. If they were a straight couple who had
a child together, whether they were married or not, there
would be nothing remarkable about what happened. This
is a situation where one parent unilaterally took the child,
moved to another state and forbade any contact with the
other parent. So, up until that point in the facts, no one
even raises an eyebrow-in
fact the reaction you would
get is 'that parent shouldn't be able to do that' because a
child is entitled to be involved in both her parents' lives.
What the Milledenkins case did that I was most gratified
by, is transfer custody from the bio parent to non,bio parent
and treats this couple just as hundreds and thousands of
courts have treated heterosexual couples in disputes where
one parent utterly refuses to honor the child's relationship
with the other parent:'
How can non,biological lesbian parents protect them,
selves when their relationship with their partner, the
biological parent of their child, breaks apartr
Executive Director of the Family Equality Council,
Jennifer Chrisler, lays it out like this: "We strongly rec,
ommend that folks who are in a relationship and who
are going to parent together define upfront what it will
look like when they break up. Develop a will, do a power
of attorney. Determine who will be the guardian of your
children in the event that you both die and they need to
be placed somewhere, and determine what it will look
like if the relationship ends as it relates to your parenting.
And, if you live in a state where you can pursue second
parent adoption, put both names on the birth certificate:'
Chrisler also says that a couple should get married, if
possible, because that helps the case in the event of a
breakup and custody battle.
Meanwhile, Frankie Travis is fighting back: She has
been vigorously campaigning among her friends and com,
munities, reaching out to both raise funds for her legal
expenses and find assistance in helping to reunite with
her daughter. She's even got a website and blog, which
chronicle her progress. Lisa Rice, however, reflects, "I feel
like I have spent the (past] year trying to survive; each day
is laced with grie£ The year marker was tough:'
"The bottom line is this;' says Kendall, "We want our
parenting rights protected and treated exactly the same way
they are protected and treated for heterosexual parents.
And, the good news is that in many states we have been
successful in shaping the law to protect lesbian or gay parents
in just that waY:'■
*Names have been changed by request.
April 2011
I 41
HILE DRIVING through Orange County on her
way back home to L.A. with her two dogs, Maggie and
Pistache, Natalie Garcia-who many will recognize as the
face of Sho.com's More to L with Natalie-found her life
suddenly and tragically changed. "One second, I was blissfully cruising, the next we're rolling over and over again in
my little VW beetle;' Garcia recounts. 't\ll the windows
broke. By the time I pulled myself out of the car, both dogs
were gone, like they had vanished into thin air. Standing
in the middle of a huge highway with my car upside down,
I realized the rest of my life was, too. I lost my babies and
there was nothing I could do:•
While Garcia was later reunited with Pistache, sadly,
Maggie lost her life in the accident. But Garcia has found
a new cause-animal rescue, and as Sweet's Chief Animal
Rescue Officer, she now dedicates herself to saving animals by land and by sea.
few days, we found Pistache alive. She'd made a little burrow for herself. She'd been abandoned in Mexico and knew
how to live in the wild. She actually gained weight.
Whatareyoudoingintheaftermath
ofthisterrible
accident
tohelp
otherdogsandcats?
Before the accident, I did animal work along with Sweet in
Cozumel. I want to continue helping animals in less fortunate areas, especially outside the United States. Sweet is
known as an eco-friendly travel company. Now, we're adding an official animal rescue component to its mission.
Cozumel was the first time we'd worked with a shelter.
Most people assumed it would be too sad, but it was quite
the opposite. We had a great time, washing and walking
the dogs. We delivered over $10,000 in veterinary supplies.
About a dozen or so "Sweeties" [the term used for Sweet's
legion of volunteers] went back every day to help out. Our
Sweeties ended up adopting nine dogs and three cats from
the island. We had fun, and it wasn't depressing because
You'vebeeninterested
in animalrescuefor a longtime,but we're a part of a solution.
therecentlossof Maggieturnedyouintoa passionate
activist. Whathaveyoulearned
aboutcarcrashes
andanimalsafety?
Whathappened?
I'm all about spreading animal awareness and safety.
After finding Maggie, my blue-heeler mix, dead, I knew I Animals are never mentioned in accidents, unless they
would never stop fighting for her. She was a rescue. I know were the cause of the accident. Paramedics treat people,
and at the scene of an accident, concern for the animals
she would want me to continue helping other animals.
On a happiernote,you did recoverPistache.Howdid that is minimal. While accidents are terrible, the grief is comhappen?
pounded when animals are involved. We need to find a
Using Facebook, local animal rescue, government officials way to address animal car safety with public safety workand the local media, I tracked down tip after tip. After a ers. Put your animals in seatbelts. The options for pets
44
I curve
z
0
(/)
~
u
a:
w
~a:
co
NAT'S NEXTRESCUE-CATIONS
PUPPYRESCUE:
Isla Mujeres Resort,
April 30-May 7, 2011 ; and Sept. 24-Oct. 1, 2011
HUSKYRESCUE:
Alaska Cruise, May 15-22, 2011
DOG,PUPPY,
CATANDKITTENRESCUE:
Cozumel
Palace Resort, Sept. 1-8, 2012
To find out how to join Natalie in her travels
or to help with these amazing projects visit
DiscoverSweet.com.
aren't great, but I hope to work with seatbelt manufac~
turers to improve the product and increase their usage.
YouwereonMoretoL withNataspartofShowtime'sTheReal
L Word,as well as beingthe hostof the LiveLoungeon Sho.
com.Howdidopeningupyourlifeto the camerachangeit?
I enjoyed sharing my life. It captured a lot of great moments
with Maggie. I would have never had that footage, if I
didn't do the show, so it's pretty priceless.
Also, I continue to receive heartfelt letters from youth
about how I've helped them. Anyone who is out and open
about who they are is doing something great for the next
generation of lesbians and gays. Even if there is one kid
out there who relates to you and feels normal, it's worth it!
People occasionally recognize me, but I don't go out in the
scene a lot. It's hard to get recognized at home-except
by
my partner and my dog. ■
The link between
loving women and
compassion for animals.
By Sandi Esposito
~~C:==::;:;i.1111!!~---
can't tell you if I was born gay,but I can tell you that I
was born an animal lover: I have pictures of me as an infant
spooning an obese feline. But still my love for animals and my
sexuality are linked-it was during the time of my employment
at an animal shelter that I realized I was in fact gay. So were
many of the women-and men-I worked with.
My very first animal rescue happened by accident when
I came across an adorable pit bull that two 14,year,old girls
were trying to sell on a busy New York City street. To the
horror of my landlord, I already had three adopted cats, a
foster cat and now an adopted pit bull in my tiny apart,
ment. I couldn't keep this dog, but I knew I had to save him
without dropping him off at the very kill shelter I often
volunteered at. I reached out to the N.Y.C. animal commu,
nity through Facebook. I saved the pit bull (Bandit)-but
the lesbians saved me. I had no idea I was about to embark
on the two destinies that would soon define my life: Animal
rescue and women.
I grew up in a typical heteronormative family, but there
was nothing ordinary about my house. My mother is a
champion of equality who's been known on occasion to
chase down vehicles on the road with anti,gay marriage
bumper stickers, give them the finger,and drive away showing
off her equality symbol. She taught me that not only are all
humans equal; animals are the true inhabitants of the earth
and our hearts. Growing up, I learned that a family is com,
posed of love-and a lot of fur on the carpet.
And so I formed the family of my choice. As I lay in bed
with my partner, Agnes, my pit bull Piglet curled between
us, I'm reminded that what makes a family is no longer a
man, woman, two and a half kids and a store,bought dog.
A family can be a single woman and her ten stray cats. Or,
in my case, two lesbians, a rescued pit bull and three high
maintenance (to put it lightly) kitties.
When I lost my animal welfare job over a year ago, I
moved to Connecticut to be with my partner. Newly out
of the closet and jobless, I applied for the few jobs avail,
able. I was ecstatic to find that most of my interviewers at
vet offices and shelters were lesbians, too. My extensive
animal handling experience helped me quickly land a job
and I found myself again surrounded by a community of
queer women and animals.
You don't need to work with animals on a daily basis
to make a strong contribution to the worldwide homeless
animal crisis. You simply have to represent. Abandoned
cats and dogs are dying needlessly every day: Adopt one.
Fostering through a rescue group is also a great way to
consistently save animals while meeting and educating
people about your pup in their ''Adopt Me" gear. Take a bag
full of biscuits and cat treats to your local shelter. It's the
perfect place to make a difference-and maybe even meet
the compassionate girl of your dreams. ■
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celebrating 25 years
ff.m
glaad media awards
~
presented by
Join us in honoring the year's most outstanding representations
of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community in the media.
GLAAD MEDIA AWARDS
LOS ANGELES
WESTIN BONAVENTURE
APRIL 10, 2011
Special Honoree
GLAAD MEDIA AWARDS
SAN FRANCISCO
MARRIOTT MARQUIS
MAY 14, 2011
modern family
Kristin Chenoweth
Special Guests
Cast of ABC's
Modern Family
Vanguard Awa rd
2011 Corporate Partners
National
Underwriters
Presenting Partner
(somcast
dream big.
~ D E LT A
_.M.amott.,
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Local Presenting Partners
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--JA-
SOUTHWEST
·=·
Platinum Underwriters
@ii:-
NBCUniversal
W'Mmm,·r,;
lT1meWarnerl
Platinum Media Partners
hereO
instinct- PASSPORT
VULTURE
GayTelevision
OnDemand
-----Gold Media Partners
Ql,l!'Y.e ICayCity
~~ N(Q(.I'
OS
of 2/10/11
Model and actor
Jessica Clari~ and
N.Y.C. fitness trainer
Lacy Stone tie the l~not
in a stunning Mexican
beachside ceremony.
BOLD AND
BEAUTIFUL
By Sarah Gleim
THE LAND OF LIBERTY?
A
rundown
of where there are and aren't wedding
gays and lesbians.
By Katherine
bells for
Dean
e 200)4 passage of marriage equality in Massachusetts touched off a frenzy oflegislative action that saw dozens of
sttate legislatures revisit the issue of same-sex marriage. Spurred by conservative groups and religious leaders, many
sttates moved quickly, adding Defense of Marriage Amendments to their constitutions. When the chips fell after the
2004 election, 13 states had written sexual orientation-based discrimination into their constitutions. Fortunately, a
_=....;;£;..;;e.;;;;w~progressive-minded
states held onto the belief that, in a free society, everyone, regardless of sexual orientation,
deserves the right to marry the person they love. Over the next six years, LGBT advocates in these states worked
tirelessly to ensure equal rights for all. Below is a state-by-state update on marriage equality as of press time in 2011.
Reprinted from Equally Wed magazine, equallywed.com.
■ LEGALLYWED
AND LOVING IT
These states
protect the civil
rights of their
citizens by ensuring
marriage equality
for everyone,
regardless of
gender or sexual
orientation.
■
MARRIAGE, UNION OR
PARTNERSHIP?
These states recognize
some gay marriages,
and provide government
recognition of same-sex
relationships, the degree
of which varies.
THE BARE MINIMUM
Legislation either legalizing same-sex marriage
or seeking to restrict the rights of gays and
lesbians to equal protection under the law is
pending in both of these states.
so I curve
■
MARRIAGE LITE
These four states provide civil union
or domestic partnership arrangements
that confer broad marital rights upon
same-sex couples. Despite legally
acknowledging registered same-sex
relationships, these states do not
recognize legal gay marriages
performed in other states and bans
on homosexual marriage remain.
A MATTER OF LAW
These states promote
government-sanctioned
discrimination against
same-sex couples and
restrict marriage to
opposite sex couples.
■ ENSHRINING
INEQUALITY
These states have
implemented constitutional bans on
same-sex marriage.
FRIENDS
WITH BENEFITS
These states bestow
limited rights on
registered same-sex
couples and continue
to ban same-sex
marriage by statute
or constitutional
amendment.
■
JUST PLAIN PARANOID
These ultra-homophobic states
have enacted constitutional bans
on both gay marriage and all
forms of same-sex relationships,
including civil unions and
domestic partnerships.
■
With you when JtJtu wad ft),JW14;l
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Domestic partners
have unique investment
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ADVISORS
bJ ft!J~
planning needs and challenges.
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egg will always be there for each other. We understand
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Visit us at wellsfargoadvisors.com/adpa
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Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, and Wells Fargo Advisors Financial Network, LLC,
Members SIPC, non-bank affiliates of Wells Fargo & Company.
Accredited Domestic Partnership AdvisorsM and ADPA5Mare
service marks of the College for Financial Planning~
© 2011 Wells Fargo Bank, N.A. All rights reserved. (445302)
Together we'll go far
LUCKY IN LOVE
The rolling' green hills and dramatic coast of Ireland provide the perfect
bacl~drop for an enchanting' romantic escape. By Melissa Varnadoe
end of a rainbow, but in a rich culture, stunning land~
scapes and friendly people. Castles, golfing, museums,
nature, music, luxury resorts and pubs (lots of pubs)-==-=Ir;;.;;;el
..and offers a little bit for everyone.
WHERE
TOSTAY
The Westin, Dublin:Providing class and comfort in
the heart of Dublin, the Westin is steps from Trinity
College, shopping on Grafton Street and the great pubs
and restaurants in Temple Bar. Their Atrium Lounge is
the spot for a cup of tea after a day exploring or head
downstairs to grab a pint in The Mint Bar, located in
the former bank vaults of this historic building. From
the friendly and helpful staff to the Westin's famous
Heavenly Beds, you'll be enveloped by the warm Irish
welcome, morning until night. ( thewestindublin.com)
LyrathEstateHotel,Kilkenny:As you pull up the drive,
you know you're in for something special. This reno~
vated 17th~century home has been transformed into a
resort offering the perfect combination of Old World
charm and modern luxury. There's tranquility at every
turn; spend your day walking through their private gardens
and woodlands or book a day at their spa for true indul~
gence. The hotel is just minutes from Kilkenny City and
an hour drive from Waterford and its famous crystal
factory. ( lyrath.com)
HayfieldManor,Cork:This five~star hotel feels like a
world away but is only a short walk to the city center of
Cork. Each room is unique and lavishly decorated. Staff
are ready to meet any request and assist with excursions
or sightseeing. There are two award winning restaurants
onsite as well as a full~service spa. (hayfieldmanor.ie)
WINING& DININGIN DUBLIN
You can't swing a stick in Dublin without hitting a couple
of pubs. You can rarely go wrong with any, but be sure
to visit one of the oldest pubs in the city, The Brazen
Head, for nightly traditional music and The Stags Head
for a perfectly gregarious Irish pub experience. When
you've had enough of pubs and are ready for romance,
head to Millstone Restaurant. Bathed in candlelight,
dine on traditional Irish fare like sumptuous lamb stew
or choose something with a contemporary twist like
the roasted pork belly with black pudding. Either way,
you'll enjoy a meal expertly prepared with fresh Irish
ingredients. Live music is performed most evenings, and
you'll want to make reservations because of the limited
amount of tables.
Take in dinner and a show at the Arlington Hotel on
O'Connell Bridge to enjoy traditional Irish music and
folk dancing while noshing on a set menu of Irish food
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and putting down a few pints of the black stuff.
If you've grown tired of fish and chips don't despair.
Thai Orchid, located at the edge of Temple Bar, is a
small restaurant big on flavor. On St. George's Street,
you'll find Diwali Restaurant serving authentic and
deliciously spicy Indian and Nepalese dishes. For
those craving sushi or noodle bowls, you need to look
no further than next door at Yamamori.
For 25 years, The George has been at the forefront
of the gay community in Dublin. The front bar, known
as Bridies, is a quieter area for a drink and chatting
or head into the rear bar for nightly entertainment,
great drag shows and arguably the best dance floor in
the city. The crowd is fairly mixed these days, which
attests to the progress made in the visibility of Dublin's
LGBT scene.
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SIGHTSEEING
Dublin is a compact city and walking is the best way
to get from one place of interest to the next. Enjoy
some Irish storytelling by taking a walking tour. Trinity
College graduate students provide an informative tour
of their historical college for only an extra Euro when
you visit the Book of Kells. The 1916 Rebellion Walking
Tour is a great way to learn about the history of Irish
Independence and is laden with loads of Irish wit.
History, art and literature buffs are easily appeased in
Dublin. Take a guided tour through Kilmainham Gaol
Historical Museum to see where most of Ireland's most
famous patriots were held during their long struggle
for national freedom. The National Gallery of Ireland
houses the country's finest works of art and the Chester
Beatty Library has a wonderful collection of artifacts
and ancient texts. Fans of Irish authors like Swift,
Wilde, Beckett or Shaw will want to visit Dublin's
Writers Museum for a look at the influence that Irish
literature has had around the world.
Everyone knows you can't come to Dublin and miss
St. Patrick's Cathedral, but you'll also want to visit a few
other churches while traversing the city. Christ Church
played an essential role in the country's history. St.
Audeon's Church is the only remaining medieval church
in the city and offers free admission and tours. For a
macabre experience, head to St. Michan's for a tour of
the crypt to see mummified remains and if you're brave
enough, touch one's finger for luck.
Arthur Guinness was more than the founder of
a brewery: He was a philanthropist and Irish hero.
Once the largest employer in the country, the St. James
Gate Brewery produces more beer than any brewery
in the world. Take a tour through the museum at the
Guinness Storehouse to learn the history of this famous
Irish brew and enjoy a pint with the best view of the city
at the Gravity Pub.
Ireland is a small country so rent a car to explore.
To the south of Dublin you'll find the breathtaking
Wicklow Mountains, Waterford and the vibrant little
town of Kilkenny with Kilkenny Castle and some won~
derful shopping. Even farther south is the picturesque
County Cork where you can kiss the Blarney Stone to
get the gift of gab or do some sea kayaking off Glengarriff
Harbour. Drive the famous Ring of Kerry and enjoy
one of the most scenic routes in Ireland or head west to
County Clare to see the dramatic Cliffs of Moher and
the stark rocky landscape of the Burren. Remember:
The Irish drive on the left side of the road, and be sure
to arrange your rental far in advance if you can't drive
a manual transmission as automatics are not as readily
available. ■
Reprintedfrom Equally Wed magazine,equallywed.com.
April 2011
I 55
n in her boudoir was at one time taboo. Tod
test trend in boudoir photography is port
eous and steamy partnership captured by M
ally Fine Photography. [ColleenOakley]
Whytheygotthem:We are not a cookie-cutter couple, and we"re
about awkward prom picture poses. This was the answer.
Whatthey'll do with them:We've made an album from the bO
graphs, and we pull it over every now and again because it b
our faces to look at these photos that illustrate such love
know these photos will bring the same feeling 50 years
is something words cannot describe.
Reprinted from Equally Wed magazine, equallywed.com.
What happens in Vegas shouldn't necessarily stay in Vegas, especially if it's your
wedding. While Las Vegas has always been the place to go on a tear, have an affair
or get hitched at a moment's notice, "sin city" has reinvented itself as a serious
recreation and wedding destination. There is now a decent range of gay-friendly
accommodation, wedding venues, wedding consultants, restaurants, nightclubs and
sunny, picturesque backdrops in which to bask in your newfound bliss. Forget the
hangover and Elvis impersonator and say "I do" in style.
GAY VEGAS
Steve Friess's book Gay Vegas: A Guide to the Other
Side of Sin City, outlines many of the reasons Vegas
has become an LGBT paradise. Sure, the town's emphasis on theatricality and living luxe appeals to gay folks, but
there is also a solid core of queerness here. The Center
Las Vegas ( thecenterlv.com) has a women's empowerment network and lesbian support and social groups,
the Rainbow Wedding Network held the Gay & Lesbian
Wedding Expo there last year and Las Vegas Pride is a
big and bold event, this year in September. (lasvegaspride.
GET HITCHEDOR
HONEYMOONIN SEXY,
SOPHISTICATED
"SIN CITY."
By Merryn Johns
org). Plus, there are gay nightspots a-plenty. Krave nightclub is the co-ed place to go, especially if you don't mind
mingling with the boys, while lesbians head to Booty Bar
(bootybarlv.com) on a Saturday. QVegas (qvegas.com) is
your best bet for keeping up with what's on where.
WHERE TO STAY
It doesn't get much gayer than The Wynn Las Vegas and
its sister property, Encore Las Vegas (wynnlasvegas.com),
both five-star and five-diamond rated, jaw-droppingly
beautiful properties-where
the Las Vegas kitsch is left
at the door. Rather, the hotel leads with its design, which
is the opulent and outrageously fun vision of out gay interior designer Roger Thomas. You can also credit Thomas
with the famous interiors of Vegas Strip landmarks
The Mirage and Bellagio. The Wynn has a multitude of
gay-friendly and gay staff including the VP of Human
Resources, the delightful Stephanie Rosol. It also boasts
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a Pride concierge, who can tailor your stay to your specifications and make it as gay as possible. On top of all this,
the property features a number of upscale restaurants
and nightclubs that will appeal to the most discerning
lesbian. Equality-minded women will be pleased to know
that Wynn achieved 100 percent on the HRC Corporate
Equality Index the first time it applied in 2010, and another
perfect score in 2011. In 2004, Wynn Resorts was the
first casino-resort company to offer domestic partner
benefits; it's also TAG and IGLTA certified and supports
local and national LGBT organizations.
WHERE TO GET MARRIED
So, if you do want an old-style Vegas wedding, complete
with Elvis impersonator, go whole hog with a Viva Las
Vegas Doo Wop Wedding, complete with a pink Cadillac.
Las Vegas Wedding Connection (lvweddingconnection.com)
offers this and a wide variety of venues, themes, packages
and price points.
And if you are staying at The Wynn or Encore, the
Wedding Salon at Wynn Las Vegas offers packages
from as little as $990 to over-the-top elegance. Five exclusive packages have been designed with lesbian brides
in mind, while the venues themselves have adorable and
very lesbian-sounding names: the Lavender salon, Lilac
salon and the Primrose courtyard for outdoor ceremonies. (EncoreLas Vegas.com/PRIDE).
IFYOU'VE GROWN TIREDOF THE "SIN"
COMPONENTOF YOUR STAY,IT'S TIME FOR
MEET THE SHOWGIRLS
Vegas is known for its over-the-top shows, and that movie.
For a late night erotic cabaret outing worthy of Gina
Gershon, don't miss MGM Grand's Crazy Horse Paris.
It's an all-girl spectacle and a little bit of naughtiness
before you tie the knot. For something big and bawdy,
try Cirque du Soleil's Zumanity. It features every form of
sexuality imaginable, but the lesbian kissing in the fishbowl is definitely the highlight of the show. For elegant,
aquatic eroticism, however, my pick is Le Reve. And
if you happen to be traveling with a wedding party,
Mom or Mom-in-law won't be offended by this lavish
theatrical dream.
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Vegas is a foodie town and a very good seafood destination. Not see-food-and-eat-it-I
mean fresh seafood,
such as that found at Mandalay Bay's RM Seafood
where chef Rick Moonen serves up stunning lobster rolls
and sweet Washington State oysters (rmseafood.com).
Valentino restaurant's Vin Bar & Lounge offers tasty
bites and a good selection of wines if you're in the mood
for something continental and light before seeing the very
romantic Phantom of the Opera. (thevenetian.com). Support
local lesbian restaurateur, Susan Feniger, by dropping
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by Border Grill for some colorful Mexican cuisine made using
sustainable ingredients (bordergrill.com). And back at
Wynn, Botero is the place for a damn good steak perfectly
cooked and served in a lovely environment by staff who
know their stuff.
PAMPER YOURSELF
To look your best on the big day, avail yourself of the burgeoning
spa scene in Vegas. The Wynn's Spa presents a very grand
yet elegant, Asian~inspired sanctuary with separate women's
facilities, and after your treatment you can exit to the pool,
if you feel so inclined. Ydara Hotel & Spa is a non~gaming,
smoke~free property at the new CityCenter (vdara.com) . It
boasts a state of the art spa and beauty salon with staff that
pride themselves on their expertise, and use a selection of
products by green retail partners.
THINGS TO DO ON AND OFF THE STRIP
The Erotic Heritage Museum (eroticheritage.org) is a fasci~
nating, if slightly seedy foray into the history of sex enter~
tainment in America. But if you've grown tired of the "sin"
component of your stay, it's time for an intimate encounter
with Mother Nature. The nearby Red Rock Canyon offers
a peaceful respite, and an easy lunch can be had by bringing
a picnic into the canyon or having lunch at the Red Rock
Casino, Resort and Spa (redrocklasvegas.com). If you like
to be guided, both on and off the Strip, the best guide in
town is Babs Daitch (thanksbabs.com) who knows every~
thing about the area, and can share history and gossip along
with shopping recommendations.
GETTING AROUND
It's possible to walk around Vegas (in the cooler months)
but an easier, more enjoyable way to explore is via the
Monorail (lvmonorail.com). Avoid Vegas' infamous cab
lines and bumper~to~bumper traffic and travel from one end
of the Strip to the other in 15 minutes or less. Stay on the
Monorail during its four mile route to get your bearings
above the ground and enjoy the view before you hop off and
dive back into Sin City's myriad attractions. ■
April 2011
I 61
SWEDENPRESENTSA
WINTERWONDERLANDTO THE
ADVENTUROUSLESBIANTRAVELER.
By Constance Parten
IF YOU THINK winter in North America is getting too cold
for comfort, here's the perfect antidote: Go somewhere
even colder! Scandinavians know how to deal with, and
celebrate, the frostier months, and Sweden-whether
you're in the village of Jukkasjarvi, famous for the Ice
Hotel, or in the cosmopolitan heart of Stockholmpromises a glorious, warm, gay~friendly welcome.
THINGS TO DO
Culture junkies can go on a bender in Stockholm. There's
no shortage of amazing, arty places to experience. For
retail therapy and charming village atmosphere, wander the
laneways of Gamla Stan (the Old Town), which dates
back to the 13th century. For traditional and hearty
Swedish fare such as herring, meatballs, cod or ox cheek,
stop in at Gyldene Freden (gyldenefreden.se), a tavern
established in 1722, and favored by artists and writers.
The Swedish Academy, which nominates the winner of
the Nobel Prize for literature, meets there weekly. For a
hit of Scandinavian history, the Vasa Museum (vasamu~
seet.se) showcases the stunning Swedish warship that
sunk on its maiden voyage in 1628 and was raised 333
years later. For something more modern, feast your eyes
on impeccable exhibitions by brilliant contemporary
photographers at the superb Fotografiska photography
gallery (fotografiska.eu). Appreciate the artistic genius of
one of Sweden's beloved sculptors, Carl Milles, at his very
Clockwise from left: Stockholm at Christmas; dogsledding in
Lapland; Gamla Stan (The Old Town); the forest in the Arctic circle
own estate, Millesgarden (millesgarden.se), the grounds
of which are decorated with some intriguing female
nudes and offer beautiful views of the city. Brush up on
your Stieg Larsson by taking a Millennium tour through
Stockholm-you
might just learn the inspiration behind
Lisbeth Salander. And for some Swedish nostalgia, visit
Skansen (skansen.se), a rambling outdoor museum comprising charming Nordic structures, a recreation of an old
village with traditionally-dressed craftspeople, activities
such as glassblowing, and market stalls where you can
sample Swedish delights and shop for unique home wares
you won't find at IKEA.
WHERETO STAY
In Stockholm, it is possible to stay in the heart of the
city and on your own island. Former army barracks dating
back to 1699 have been ingeniously transformed into
an eco-conscious, waterfront lifestyle hotel called Hotel
Skeppsholmen (hotelskeppsholmen.se). The rooms are
stylishly minimalist and comfortable-many
with views
of the river, and you're only ever a short taxi ride or reasonable walk from the city centre. This very gay-friendly
establishment is both a member of the International Gay
and Lesbian Travel Association and Design Hotels. It
doesn't get much more Swedish than that.
WHERETO EAT
The Swedes have the simple pleasures, like bread and butter,
coffee and chocolate, down to a fine art. Xoko (xoko.se) is
great for a simple and delicious breakfast platter featuring
a selection of breads, meats and cheeses. Or choose something sweet for morning tea or an afternoon pick-me-up;
their chocolates and desserts are drool worthy. A majority
of restaurants in Stockholm are reliable, but for something
refined and relaxed head to F12 Salongen (f12.se), the more
casual cousin of the upscale F12.1he food is beautiful and
delicious, and the atmosphere warm and dub-like. For a
more vibey establishment, head to Torget (torgetbaren.
com), a magnet for gays, lesbians and hipsters of all persuasions. The service is super-friendly and casual but still
offers a good night out with simple and delicious dishes.
EXTREMELY
COOL__
HeadtotheArcticwilderness
forthecoolest
experience
of
yourlife.Onlya shortflight
fromStockholm,
theIceHotel
haslegendary
status:
It'sthe
firstandlargest
hotelmade
purelyoficeandsnow,right
downtothechandeliers
and
MEETTHE GIRLS
How lesbian-friendly is Stockholm? Off the charts is the
simple answer. Generally speaking, Stockholm feels very
gay, as though queer stylists have made the city over just
for us. The architecture is beautifully preserved; the
restaurants, bars and coffee shops equally gorgeous, many
displaying that quintessential Swedish design sensibility
and the nightlife is mixed and welcoming. Paradise (paradisesthlm.com) is a good gay bar where men and women
mingle but Momma (restaurangmomma.se) restaurant
and club offers Lezzie Fridays, while Roxy (roxysofo.se) is
a popular lesbian dining and drinking destination located
in SoFo, a bohemian part of Stockholm. To keep abreast
of the several lesbian watering holes and semi-regular girls'
nights, check QX magazine (qx.se).
HOW TO GET THERE
Whether you fly business class or coach, Scandinavian
Airlines (flysas.com) offers friendly, professional service.
(visitsweden.comand stockholmtown.com/gay-lesbian)■
________,
"glassware"
intheIceBar.It's
alsoanannualartproject
with
eachsuitedistinctly
designed
byinternational
artists.If you're
fussyaboutthreadcountand
centralheating,
it'spossible
the
IceHotelmaynotbeforyou.But
adventurous
lesbians
willbein
fora nightto remember
if they
stayhere.Cuddle
uponreindeer
pelts(OK,notreally,
they'rejust
foreffect)inoneofthedifferentlythemedsuitesmadeoutof
solidicefromthenearby
pristine
RiverTome.
Alternatively,
if you
don'tfancybedding
downon
blocks
ofice,checkinto"warm"
accommodation
witha Nordic
chalettheme.Activities
associatedwiththeIceHotelinclude
dogsledding,
snowmobiling,
icesculpting
andstaying
at a
wilderness
campwhereyou
justmightsamplereindeer
stew.Intheevenings,
enjoythe
Welovedthecarpaccio
ofelk
platedonicewear.
Youmightbe
inthewilderness,
hometothe
region's
indigenous
people
(the
SarniorLaplanders),
butthere
areplentyofcomforts
tochase
thechillsaway,fromwarm
IceHotel's
impeccably
served
lingonberry
juicetoa sumptufoodandwineatthemodern
ofwines.
Scandinavian
stylerestaurant
or ousselection
[CP]
theOldHomestead
restaurant. (icehotel.com)
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Stockholm Gay&Lesbian Network
I
Since May 2009 Sweden has said YESto same-sex marriages -Why don't you and your loved one
choose one of the 175churches Stockholm has to offer for your own "I DOs"?
Uncover great deals to Wedding bells and Honeymoon getaways- Book now:
www.flysas.com/us
V.ISi·t ••
-•
Sweden
•
Stockholm
The Capitalof Scandinavia
International Gay & Lesbian Travel Association
Scandinavian
Airlines
BRIGHTON
QUEER
EVERYDAY
HEADTO THIS SEASIDELOCALE
FOR BEACHES,BOARDWALKS
AND BEAUTIFULBRITISHBIRDS.
By Stephanie Schroeder
THE FIRST THING you should
know about Brighton,
England, is that it's super queer-in the broadest sense of
the term. This coastal gem is inhabited mostly by people
who came to visit, loved it and stayed. Everyone, it seems,
is from somewhere else: Vienna, Paris, London. The second
thing you should know is that Brighton is only a 45,minute
train ride from London's Paddington Station. Really just a
hop, skip and a jump.
Brighton Beach is famous (or infamous) as the battle,
ground of the Mods and Rockers in the 1979 psychedelic
rock movie Quadrophenia(and more recently it's the set,
ting of the hit lesbian series Sugar Rush). Brighton Pier
is a traditional boardwalk with carnival rides, food stands
and various other tourist attractions. The pebble beach
is unique and luxurious, while the kippers for breakfast,
Mummy dear, Mummy dear, are actually imported from
Sussex. The local fishing industry, viable in earlier years,
has died a slow death more recently.
The lesbian scene is definitely happening, but the beauty
part is Brighton is all gay, all the time. No one even looks
sideways at queer folks, whether they're bare,chested gay
guys holding hands on the street or groups of lesbians
sunbathing in the park in their bras and panties.
NoMo,be,missed is the looming Royal Pavilion, architect
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John Nash's extraordinary Oriental fantasy in honor of
King George IV. With an Indian exterior and colorful
Chinese interior, the monument is now a museum. Totally
gaudy, gauche and over,the,top, it's still an amazing sight
to behold and worth the time it takes for a proper tour
( royalpavilion.org).
There are no exclusively lesbian bars or dubs in
Brighton-all gay establishments cater to a mixed queer
crowd and the proportion of gays to lesbians is the usual
10 to L Thursday nights at Club Revenge (revenge.co.uk)
is women on top, men on the bottom. Floors, that is.
Frockabilly (frockabilly.co.uk), a lesbian,operated,
straight,friendly tribute to the 1950s, is happening the
first Friday of every month and is a guaranteed good
time. Most of the gals there were dressed in James DeanBuddy Holly- and Marilyn Monroe-inspired styles-or
somewhere in between. There were some quite good step,
pers who energetically participated in line dancing, did the
jitterbug and swung and twirled to classic '50s tunes as
DJ Lonesome M spun blast,from,the,past classics from
real vinyl.
Dining Dykes (diningdykes.com) is a social network
of lesbians who, well, dine together. The group alternates
its destination dinners and other events between London
and Brighton since the route between the two is so easy.
Dyke Modern (dykemodern.co.uk) is a local collective of
Sapphic artists and writers who bring together lesbians
for workshops and events that promote and encourage
creativity and empowerment.
As far as neighborhood exploration goes, one could
spend her entire time shopping and grazing in North
Laine, a hub of boutiques selling everything from modern
streetwear brands and vintage clothing to new and used
books, records and random hip and kitsch. North Laine
is dotted with cafes and, in particular, vegetarian outposts
such as Infinity Cafe, an offshoot of a
workers' cooperative that's been in exis~
tence since 1971, and Red Veg, a joint
with an iconic communist theme, where
you can find everything vegan and veg~
etarian, except tofu. I picked up a pair
of bright~purple Airseal Para boots,
the ultimate cruelty~free shoes, at the
original Vegetarian Shoes boutique.
The company uses the finest water~
resistant, non~leather components in
all its footwear. I put on my extraordi~
narily comfortable boots immediately
and wore them for the rest of my stay!
(vegetarian~shoes.co.uk)
Major eats in Brighton run the gamut
from gourmet vegetarian (terre a terre is
popular enough to have its own successful
cookbook) to the hip, new "gastronom~
ics;' including Sawadee, an intimate
Thai joint with fresh ingredients and a
warm atmosphere. I also hit Due South,
a classy restaurant along Brighton's
beachfront where 80 percent of the food
comes from within a 35~mile radius of
the establishment. It was a pleasure to
linger at Due South on a breezy night
with a few new friends-the
beachfront
was alight with lanterns.
Cream tea is famous throughout the
UK. and I recommend a cute little place
called, aptly enough, Cream Tea. It serves
a variety of locally grown and produced
fare, including black teas and more exotic
blends made by Tea Pigs. The shop's cof~
fee is from Small Batch, roasted in Hove.
I had a delectable Sussex Charmer: a
cheese scone filled with scallion cream
cheese and watercress, accompanied by a
reliable English breakfast tea.
What about Prider you ask: Brighton
Pride is the biggest free Pride festival in
the UK. The party includes a week of
events in the winter and the summer.
Plus, the big parade through the city and
the party in Preston Park at the beginning
of August, which attracts over 150,000
■
people. (brightonpride.org)
HOW TO GEI THERE___
~
Although
I consider
Brighton
a destination
in itself,thisseaside
cityshould
definitely
beat thetopofyourlistassidetriporgetaway
whileinLondon.
Flyinto
London
onAmerican
Airlines,
whichhasspecialpackages
forLGBT
customers
(aa.com/rainbow),
andthenjumponBritish
Rail(BritRail.com)
andrideincomfort
toa longweekend
ina coolbeachtown,whereyou'llrelaxina supremely
beautiful
spotwitha totallyqueerattitude
andstyle.
ACCOMMODATIONS:
ONEBROAD
STREET
isa lesbian-owned,
simplydecorated,
4-starperiod
guesthouse
situated
30 seconds
fromthebeach,andhasa reputation
forhigh
standards
ofcleanliness
andservice.
(onebroadstreet.com)
MYHOTEL
BRIGHTON
isa veryqueer-friendly
ultra-mod
hoteldesigned
byAndy
Thrasyvoulou
andKarimRashid.
It hasbeendescribed
as"a hotelwhereFreddie
Mercury
mighthavemettheMaharishi."
(myhote/s.com)
THENEWSTEINE
isanelegantandfashionable
five-story
Georgian
townhouse
in
centralBrighton.
Gay-owned
andlesbian-friendly,
theNewSteinehotel/B&B
hasa
contemporary
design,
witha hintof French
influence.
(newsteinehotel.com)
RESOURCES:
VISITBRIGHTON.COM
hasalltheinformation
onBrighton
andHove,
andGScene,
(gscene.com)
a monthly
gaymagazine,
offersallthelatestpubandclublistings.
Andvisitbrightonourstory.co.uk
foranonlinearchive
givingvoiceto Brighton's
LGBT
history.
ULTRAVIOLENT
FEMMES
Grudges. The best players from the four
league teams combine to form the AllStar (A) Team, London Brawling, and the
reserves team, the Brawl Saints. London
Brawling, the best of the best, plays teams
from other cities around the world. The
London Rollergirls are now the reigning
champions of European Roller Derby.
They play to 800-plus crowds-and
bouts include DJs
spinning rock, pop and punk; a carnival atmosphere with
raffles, prizes and merchandise stands; and a riotous after
party. The London Rollergirls are also one of the first
leagues outside the United States to be granted membership in the Women's Flat Track Derby Association-the
governing body of Roller Derby. For the uninitiated, here
are the basics of the sport: Two teams of four skate around
an elliptical track, plus one point-scorer per team ( the
jammer) tries to battle her way past them and lap them as
IT'S FAST IT'S FURIOUS.IT'SALL THE RAGEIN
ENGLAND.LONDONROLLERGIRLSPROVETHAT
BRITSKNOW HOW TO WHIP IT
By Georgia Krokus and Katherine Wright
INVENTEDIN America during the Great Depression, Roller
Derby is now experiencing a revival, and is one of the fastestgrowing contact sports for women. (When two teams
compete, it's called a bout!) Roller Derby's second life
began in Texas in 2001, and since then interest in the sport
has spread across the country and around the globe. In
the UK., talented and tough skaters started the London
Rollergirls League in April 2006. London Rollergirls
(LRG) is made up of four league teams, the Suffra Jets,
Ultraviolent Femmes, Steam Rollers and Harbour
many times as she can. For each opposing player she passes
the jammer scores one point. No tripping, punching or
shoving is allowed-but there's still plenty of rough-andtumble. curve caught up with LRG A-Team out lesbians,
Raw Heidi, Dalai Harmer and Stefanie Mainey, and
asked them how they started, what it takes to be a Derby
girl and how they'd describe their most impressive injury.
RawHeidi:A friend of mine invited me to a Roller Derby
bout for her birthday with the promise of "hot girls on
skates battering each other:' It was a no-brainer for me- I
booked a ticket immediately. What does it take to be a
Derby girl:' Toughness is in the eye of the beholder.
Teensy girls and sturdy women alike can have a toughness they didn't even know about until they try something
like Roller Derby. You only have to be tough enough to get
up again after being knocked down for the one-hundredth
time. You need to have a level of dedication to it above and
beyond a normal hobby if you want to make the A-Team
in your league and be a great skater. My first impressive
injury was the most enormous bruise I'd ever seen in my
life, taking up most of my left thigh-I've seen bigger
since, mind you.
DalaiHarmer:When I got into the league I was bored with
my life and was looking for something where I could meet
fun people. I stumbled across the LRG website and it
looked awesome, so I sent off an email. I nearly talked myself out of starting as I couldn't skate at all, but everyone
said it didn't matter. So I took the plunge. I have to give
all credit to my girlfriend for coming up with my Derby
name. She likes to constantly remind me how clever she is
for coming up with it. Every player has her strengths and
weaknesses-you
could be really
petite but fast and be a great jammer. The training really tones you
and builds up your muscles anyway,
so I don't think anyone should be
put off if you don't consider yourself
to be "tough:' That's not all it takes.
So far, I've only broken a finger. And
for about two weeks I did have a
black-and-purple butt cheek that
made sitting quite uncomfortable.
TEENSYGIRLS
AND STURDY
StefanieMainey:I saw Roller Derby
on TV and thought it looked
amazing, so I bought some skates
and gave it a go. That was four years
ago. I dropped my Derby name
[because] I felt that people saw this
sport as more of a sideshow, or a
novelty act, because of the skate
names. To be a Derby girl, you have
to be mentally tough, you need to
WOMEN
ALIKE CAN HAVE
A TOUGHNESS
THEY DIDN'T EVEN
KNOW ABOUT
UNTIL THEY TRY
SOMETHING
LIKE ROLLER
be a fighter and not give in. The
first year you're going to spend a lot
DERBY.
of time getting hit to the floor, but
you have to suck it up and shake it
off and keep moving. You don't learn when you play it
safe. My injuries from Roller Derby include a sprained
ankle, and I have a small scar below my right eye from
taking a helmet to the face, too. If there's one thing that
Derby teaches you, it's confidence. I've seen meek girls
start Derby and turn into strong, powerful women.
(londonrollergirls.com)
■
REVIEWSMusic Watch
BandTogether
Like chosen family, Minneapolis rockers Sick of Sarah aren't sick of each other. By Merryn Johns
In an industry full of supposedly talented,
cool,looking female musicians you may not
be looking for a new audio obsession. Well,
too bad, because Sick of Sarah may just be the
best girl band you haven't tuned into-yet.
Comprised of Jessie Farmer (guitar and
vocals),Jamie Holm (bass and vocals), Katie
Murphy (guitar and vocals),Jessica Forsythe
( drums and vocals) and Abisha Uhl (lead
vocals and guitar), the quintet, in their 20s,
has been praised by the Nancy Wilson
(Heart) and Susanna Hoffs (The Bangles),
with whom they toured. They've also toured
with their contemporaries, Girl in a Coma,
and opened for rock legend Joan Jett ( to
whom Abisha Uhl bears more than a passing
resemblance). Jett is also an icon for Jessie
Farmer and provides a vital connection to
one of the all,girl bands Sick of Sarah would
most like to be compared to: The Runaways.
But times have changed since the impact
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"We wanted to be really
strong musicians. Being
attractive, super sexy,
wasn't really our focus."
made by The Runaways. Lesbian bands can
be out (Uhl, Farmer and Murphy are), and
flaunt their musical talent without hiding
behind the "novelty" of gender. Following the
lead of The Go,Gos and Riot Grrrl outfits
like Babes in Toyland and L7, a lineup of
lady rockers is expected to actually play.
And Sick of Sarah can certainly play.
When Uhl and Farmer formed the band in
2004 they were serious."! was like, Let's make
this a machine that is a force to be reckoned
with;' says Farmer. "We wanted to be really
strong musicians. Being attractive, super
sexy, wasn't really our focus. We're trying
to break that stereotypical view of women
and getting everybody to focus on how well
we play:' Seven years on and they're rocking
venues across the country with their brand of
satisfying, punk,infused pop.
Both their label and fan base accepted
them immediately. "Our label embraces who
we are as people, our different looks, our dif,
ferent styles;' says Farmer.
"People were appreciative that we could
write our own songs;' says Uhl. "Even in
our baby stages I knew we could do it, keep
pushing forward no matter what:'
Their fan base is mostly female, but men
and teenage boys also come to the shows. At
one gig a pair of boxer shorts landed on the
neck of Farmer's bass guitar. The gender of
the thrower is still unknown.
If you think being in an all,girl band is a
lesbian wet dream come true, think again.
g
<I:
~
8
~
~
~
It is, sometimes, "like having five periods a
month;' says Uhl. "Fortunately we all get
along really well;' adds Farmer. "Sometimes
we fight like sisters but we're all best friends
and we laugh a lot:'
"Yeah, we definitely have a family relationship;' agrees Uhl. "We take care of each other:'
Most often it is Farmer who occupies the
parental position. 'Tm very nurturing;' she
says. "When the girls are sick I'll make them
tea and soup. I'm very protective of them. If
someone's getting a little too close I'll step
in. In certain situations when anyone feels
uncomfortable, they come to me:'
Like a family unit the band even shares a
home base. The title of their fifth and latest
album, 2205, comes from 2205 Grand Ave.,
which has provided a dwelling and headquarters for each band member ( the girls
have "2205" tattooed on their wrists). Like a
collective, they all contribute to the creative
process-and
to the more mundane process
of making ends meet, holding down jobs in
Minneapolis when they're not on tour.
Touring is hard on family, especially pets.
Last year, Farmer spent $3,000 to save her
cat. Farmer and her girlfriend, who lives in
Portland, Ore. are "serious;' but only get to
see each other about once a month. When
asked about her dating status, lead singer
Uhl dodges the question, preferring to retain
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her rock chick mystique.
"Can I make something up like, I'm currently romantically involved with Selena
Gomez?"
"Let's start a rumor!" says Farmer. "k.d.
lang;' she teases, like a big sister does.
"No, not k.d.lang!...Find me an actress.
What about Kristen Stewart? Am I going to
get in trouble?"
What Uhl isprepared to admit is that 2205
is intimate as well as inspired, and probably
their best album yet, with a wide range of
songs, from the deep and edgy "Giving Up"
to the catchy, upbeat "Cigarettes:'
"We took a lot more time to think about
what we wanted to do on this album. It's a lot
more personal;' says Uhl.
How will this hard-working, yet not-tooserious band know when they've made it?
It could be when they tour with their idols
Tegan and Sara, or it could be when they
can "afford a hotel on tour;' says Uhl. ''A lot
of times we'll stay at fans' houses, which is
awesome and fun, we really appreciate that,
but when we don't have to do that we'll know
that we're able to take care of ourselves:'
Until then, they'll take care of each other,
"touring like there's no tomorrow;' says
Farmer. But something tells me that for Sick
of Sarah, tomorrow will come, and it's looking
■
good. (sickofsarah.com)
BecauseI Can
DaphneWillis
(Vanguard
Records)
Withherthirdalbum,Because
I Can,outlesbiansongstress
Daphne
Willisprovesthatshe
is anundeniable
talent-poisedto dominate
the
poprockscene.Thenewalbumis populated
withradio-friendly
upbeatanthemswitha
countryedgethatcalloutfor a sing-along.
"I WillBeWaiting"combines
earnestyet
pop-infused
vocals;"IsAnyoneThere"shows
offWillis'sdistinctbreathy,soulfulvoice;and
theska-tinged
(a la SaveFerris)"I WantTo"is
impossible
to resist.Ina seaof over-produced
imitations,
Willisis the realdeal.(vanguardrecords.com)
let's MakeBabiesin the Woods
Papercranes
(ManimalVinyl)
Possibly
bestknownfor herturnasthe lesbian
feministcowgirlBonanza
Jellybeanin Even
CowgirlsGettheBlues,RainPhoenixnow
frontsthe alternativebandPapercranes.
Dark,
atmospheric
andmelancholy,
the band'ssophomoreeffort,Let'sMakeBabiesin theWoods,
tendstowardthe experimental-andwhileit
weavesbetweenmelodicanddiscordant,
it
remainsrawanduncompromising.
Manyof
the songswererecordedin onlya singletake,
lendingthe seta jamsessionquality.Whatit
lacksin precision-likethe percussion-heavy
"LongWay"-it makesupfor in richnessof
mood.Therock-leaning
openingtrack,"Shell,"
allowsPhoenix
to showoff herquirkilysweet
voiceand"SeaRed,"a '90s-reminiscent
track,
is equalpartsSmashing
Pumpkins
andCourtney
Love.A fascinating,
if somewhat
esoteric,
auditoryexperience.
(manimalvinyl.com)
■
April 2011
I 71
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Her Sister's KeeQer
Best-selling author Jodi Picoult takes up the lesbian cause in her latest novel. By Merryn Johns
easier for him to do so:'
With an estimated 14 million copies of
her books in circulation, Picoult certainly
has the reach to sway public opinion. "There's
something that makes me so happy about being a commercial fiction author with a wideranging audience, and maybe a bigger pulpit.
I think people might hear me a little more
loudly than they would other authors:'
In writing about the things she'd like to
vanquish, such as chronic childhood illness,
Picoult has attracted a family values-based
readership who might not be so toler'" N£wroR'
ant of unconventional families'
tribulations. Did it worry her
that this book, which asks readers
to root for a hopeful lesbian mom,
SING You HOM
"~"
E might see her fans desert her?
"When you look at the things
I've written about-from
assisted
suicide to stem cell research to battling the Catholic church and priest
sexual abuse to the division between
with her husband and
three children. "It's embarreligion and politics in this countrythis book, before it was even published,
rassing. I don't understand why it's even a
political issue. Not having the right to marry
got more hype and buzz and people upset ...
constitutionally, not having the ease that so I've had people writing hate letters:'
Picoult recounts one letter from a woman
many heterosexual couples have, seems to me
a gross miscarriage of justice. I have plenty of delivered to her hotel room while on book
tour in Toronto. "She tells me she has read
gay and lesbian friends and there's absolutely
everything I've ever written, but that she's
nothing second class about them:'
If it sounds like Picoult is preaching to the not going to read this and she's going to tell
choir, the prolific novelist (Sing You Home is her friends not to read this as well because
her 17th book) confesses she had her sights it is morally and biblically wrong to be a hoset on writing a book about the struggle for mosexual. And I wrote her back and I said, 'I
LGBT rights vs. the religious Right for some understand that you feel that way, and when
time. And then a very personal motivation
you read my book you will find your point
kicked in: Her teenage son, Kyle, came out. of view represented. However, you will also
see what the other side has to say. I really
"We were thrilled for him;' says Picoult. "He
was a different kid after he came out. So hope you read it: Well, she writes me back
much more comfortable in his own skin. But and says, 'I think the reason I got so upset
as a mom whose kid's gay: Now this battle's a is because before I got married I was in a
same-sex relationship for 20 years ... and for
personal one for me:'
Picoult, who writes superstitiously, as me, I think reading this book would be like
though to ward off life's inequities, hopes this being a non-smoker, walking into a room ~
book will help usher in equality. "If I write
full of smokers: Just too close for comfort: ~
a:
this book, then maybe by the time Kyle's I just sat there and thought, That's why I 5
ready to have children it will be that much
wrote this book! I mean, why should you ~
10nt~o,
PrcouLT
What makes one of the world's best-selling
authors turn her commercially-attuned talents to the theme oflesbian motherhood? Jodi
Picoult, said to be the higest-selling female
author after J.K. Rowling, and a firm favorite
with mainstream American readers-who
overwhelmingly identify with Picoult's heartrending dramas-has written Sing YouHome,
a book which may unsettle the very people
who've made Picoult so successful.
Sing You Home is the story of Zoe Baxter,
a mostly happy heterosexual woman whose
marriage falls apart under the strain of trying
to conceive. After multiple miscarriages, her
husband Max asks for a divorce, and deals
with his grief and drinking problem by becoming Born Again. Zoe, a music therapist,
throws herself into her career and her friendship with Vanessa, which unfolds into a deep
and unexpected romantic love. Complications
ensue when Zoe and Vanessa decide to have
a child-using the embryos Zoe had stored
during her fertility treatments with Max.
"I think that gay rights is the one civil right
we haven't granted yet;' Picoult says from her
home in New Hampshire where she lives
721curve
ILLUMINATING
READS
have to hide who you are, and if you
do choose to believe in God, what
god would want that of you?"
The fundamentalist Christians that
gun for Zoe Baxter, threatening to
destroy her dream of motherhood by
suing her and attempting to adopt her embryos was inspired by the rhetoric of politically mobilized Christian groups like Exodus
and Focus on the Family. Picoult feels that
these groups do a disservice to a majority of
Christians who are "very supportive of gay
rights:'
In depicting the struggle for family Zoe
and Vanessa face, Picoult felt so impelled
to capture them convincingly as lovers that
when her mother read the draft she asked, "Is
there something you want to tell me?"
It's true: Picoult nails the growing attraction between Zoe and Vanessa, and how it
reaches a depth of understanding lacking
in her heterosexual relationship. "The sex
scenes I could figure out;' laughs Picoult, and
"in a very delicate way explain what there is
to celebrate about loving another woman. I
wanted to do justice to that. Hopefully, when
lesbians read the book, they'll think it's an
honest portrait of a relationship:'
Neither the publisher, nor Picoult, is
prepared to whitewash the book. "I don't
want this billed as a novel about infertility.
It's much more than that;' says Picoult who
believes that those not supportive of gay and
lesbian rights must just not know anyone gay
or lesbian.
"I wanted the blue-haired lady in Nebraska
who's never talked to 'one of them lesbians'
to be able to hear the voice of one:' To that
extent, Picoult enlisted the help of a lesbian
musician friend, Ellen Wilber, to create a CD
of songs, which is bundled with the book,
representing the character of Zoe "pouring
her heart out:'
"I want this book to kick people who take
so much of their life for granted, and say,
Look around you. There are people here who
are not enjoying the same freedoms as you:'
Big Sex little Death: A Memoir,
SusieBright{SealPress):There is
no mistaking Susie Bright's influence in shaping today's erotic
landscape. Bright has a resume as
diverse as you might expect for a
fiercely driven visionary. In addition to being a sex educator and
helping to found the groundbreaking lesbian sex magazine On Our
Backsin the mid- 1980s, she has also spent
time as a college professor, blogger, performer, consultant, columnist, crafter and
curator. Yet Bright is especially well known
for her many books of erotica and her oftcontroversial public appearances.
Still extremely prolific, Bright is releasing
both a women's erotic notebook and her
first autobiography, Big Sex Little Death,
this year.
Always a force to be reckoned with,
in Big Sex Little Death, Bright illuminates
how her sheer determination to make itthrough her mother's mental illness and
the sexist socialism of her teenage yearsallowed her to discover the amazing radicalism of '70s feminism ( and its sexier
punk dyke offshoot), and how she began
her early work as a sex educator and salesperson in sex toy shop Good Vibrationsall of which inform both her life's work and
her new autobiography.
However, only the last third of Bright's
book explores what most readers will be
especially interested in: Her move to San
Francisco in the early'80s, her work at Good
Vibes, her introduction to the publishers
On Our Backs and her friendships with
the many other creative dykes living in San
Francisco at that time. Bright's account of
the tensions and triumphs of being a part
of such controversial work is fascinating,
and would make a great movie. Which
makes it all the more disappointing, then,
that Bright's subsequent descriptions of
her eventual falling out with On Our Backs
publisher Debi Sundahl and resulting
move to Santa Cruz to reclaim and recreate
her own life are rushed-as
fans will
want all the juicy details they can get. No
matter, though. Big Sex Little Death is an
entertaining read by our community's first
lady of smut and an important herstorical
document of a recent bygone era that
today's young lesbians may barely be able
to imagine. (sealpress.com)
Gallup'sGuideto ModernGay,lesbian and
Transgender
lifestyle{series),
Variousauthors
{Mason Crest Publishers):Despite this
reviewer's issue with a series about a LGBT
"lifestyle;' the 15 books that comprise this
series are wonderful. Chock full of color
photography and bold graphics, they are
lively and informative and will be appealing
to their middle school (and possibly high
school) aged target audience. Titles in this
new series reflect the seriousness of the
publisher's intent: To sensitively tackle
timely issues meaningful to today's LGBT
youth. These include Gay and Lesbian
Role Models, Feeling Wrong in Your Own
Body: UnderstandingWhat it Means to Be
Transgender,Gay People of Color: Facing
Prejudice,ForgingIdentities, and Gays and
Mental Health: FightingDepression,Saying
No to Suicide.Yet the books never feel too
heavy-bright colors and photos of queerfriendly pop culture stars will keep the
pages turning. The team behind this series
includes author Jaime A. Seba, a long-time
community educator also experienced
in mental health and harm reduction
recovery programs, and series consultant
Dr. James T. Sears, an educator and
researcher specializing in LGBT issues. If
you have a young person in your life who
needs some more information on a wide
variety of topics ranging from coming out
to understanding homophobia, this series
is a great place to start. ( masoncrest.com)
[RachelPepper]
(jodipicoult.com)■
April 2011
I 73
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Q+A~
Leslie Zemeckis
New burlesque has had a major resurgence
in the last two decades, particularly in the
queer community which has enthusiastically
laid claim to the risque and subversive
art form. But our favorite brand of racy
onstage performance has had a long and
tumultuous history-and
nearly died out
entirely when it came under attack in the
1930s and again in the'60s. Because of its
innately risque nature, much of its history
has gone unrecorded-until
now. For her
movie Behind the Burly ~ documentary
film director Leslie Zemeckis interviewed
a number of famous burlesque stars who
shimmied across the stage during the golden
age of burlesque. This intimate look
into an almost forgotten era shows
the human side of the artists, for
many of whom this was the first,
and sadly the last time they ever
shared their stories. Zemeckis
shares her personal experience of
making this amazing, enlightening
and sometimes heartbreaking documentary.
Howdidyoubecomeinterested
in burlesque?
I was doing a show that was kind of bur~
lesque inspired, and I realized I didn't know
much about it. Then I found these women
that had been former strippers, old time
burlesque-and realized burlesque was such
a big part of American history, but nobody
had ever told their stories.
11 _.
'J'
·t;~~~
.it
'
~==-'
NoSecretAnymore:
TheTimesof Del
Martin& PhyllisLyon
Thiseroticallycharged {Frameline}
dramachronicles
the
Nocouplepersonifies
eventsof onenight
modernlesbianherstory
betweentwo women
morethanDelMartin
ensconced
in a room
andPhyllisLyon,whose
in Italy'scapitalcity.
bravery
Overthe courseof the unfathomable
continues
to opencloset
eveningthewomen
doorstoday.Directed
gofromstrangersto
byJEBandnowmade
loversto soulmates.
available
byFrameline,
Alternating
between
the
melodrama
andexplic- thisfilm documents
andpolitical
itly sexylovescenes, personal
thefilm titillatesbutthe historyof Martinand
Lyonwhichinturntells
narrativeneverquite
resonates-duein no thestoryof lesbian
the
smallpartto an oddly rightsthroughout
Touching,
chosen,gratingsound- 20thcentury.
heartbreaking
and
track.Whileit may
it's highly
notbea masterpiece, informative,
it's searinglyhotstuff. recommended.
(frameline.
org)
(studiocanal.
com)
Roomin Rome
{StudioCanal}
74
I curve
Deadwood:
The
Complete
Series
{Showtime}
Setinthereal-lifecity
of Deadwood,
S.D.this
lesbian-inclusive
westernseriesintegrates
infamous
historical
figureswithfictionalcharactersto tellthestoryof
thisonce-thriving
gold
rushcity.It's rifewith
fascinating,
complex
characters-among
themlesbianMadame
JoanieStubbswho
strikesupa romance
withthefoul-mouthed
butlovableCalamity
Jane.Nowavailable
onBlu-raysoyoucan
witnessthegrit,grime
andpioneergumption
in hi-def.(sho.com)
PurpleSea
{StrandReleasing}
Inspiredbya true
story,thistragic
romancetakesplace
in a 19thcentury
Italianvillage.Willful,
defiantandunwanted
Angela'slifechanges
foreverwhensheis
reunitedwith herchildhoodfriendSara.The
two quicklyrekindle
theirfriendshipand
fall in lovebutthey
areunableto be
together-untilAngela
beginslivingasa man.
Compelling
performancesandscenic
cinematography
make
thisvisuallycompelling,
if heartrending
to watch.
(strandreleasing.
com)
Burlesque
hasmostly
beenleftoutofAmerican
historybooks.Doyouthink
thatwasbecauseit was
considered
workingclass
entertainment?
Burlesque was really com~
peting with something called follies. There
was a big movement by all the legitimate
theaters to squash burlesque maybe
because it was cheap and they were really
drawing in the crowds and taking them
from the "legitimate shows;' on Broadway.
Those theater owners went to the police,
they roused up the church groups ... The
follies had just as much nudity, but it was
a more expensive show to go to.
BehindtheBurlyamentions
onlyone
lesbiancouple,butwithsomanywomen
in burlesque,
wereyousurprised
that
youdidn'tcomeacrossmoresame-sex
couples?
Maybe there were a lot more, but out of
so many that I talked to, I know of only
one more who was bisexual. Lots of them
were just your girl next door but from a
lower echelon of economic status.
Whydoyouthink"LadiesOnly"showswere
justa temporary
elementof theera?
I think it got a little too risque, so most
women didn't want to go. There's only
so many women who go to a strip club
now. I just think there wasn't the interest;
they'd rather go see a matinee with who~
ever the movie star of that time was.
Whatleftthebiggestimpression
onyou
whenyouinterviewed
all thesepeople?
A lot of artists have a really similar story
coming from dire poverty and a hard life.
They didn't look down on what they did.
They knew other people did and they
held their heads high. They were doing
what they had to do to survive. Some
people just went into it, did some shows
0
0
and didn't really tell anybody and got
0
~
out. But others were like, 'Tm going into
0
i1i
g_
this, I'm going to be a star and there's
z
:J
nothing wrong with me, I like style:'
>I
(9
[LiskaKoenig]
:J
0
0
Tech Girl REVIEWS
Foxy Boxee
This gadget will bring a world wide web to your 1V. By Rachel Shatto
Whether you're looking to
"cut the cord" and ditch
your cable bill, watch
Internet and streaming videos or organize your vast
and growing library of digital media, there are plenty
of reasons to fall in love with
0-Link's Boxee Box.
This shiny, black little cube
of a gadget disguises the equivalent of a bunch of unsightly and
expensive computer components
that would normally be used for
the same purpose, finally pairing
the instant gratification of online,
on demand entertainment with the
ease and comfort of watching it on
your TV- I mean what's the point
of that glossy hi-def flat screen if you're
just going to squint at your tiny laptop
screen every time you want to indulge in a Cagney&
LaceyIL Word marathon?
Setting up the system is relatively simple and
the user interface is wonderfully user-friendly.
The Boxee home screen greets you with some
basic options-watch
video, look at photos, listen
to music-but
also a couple that aren't as so selfexplanatory: Friends, Watch Later and Apps. Using
the included remote (which features a very simple
design of only three buttons, a D-pad and a qwerty
keyboard on its flip-side) to select Shows or Movies
whisks you to lists of the most popular programs
and films available online, complete with cover art
and full descriptions. These can be sorted in other
ways, such as by genre or alphabetically, but they're
all tracked down by the Boxee Box from dozens of
online video sites.
While the latest episodes of many network (and
some pay TV) channels are available this way, those
looking to explore a show's previous seasons are
largely out of luck. This is exactly the sort of thing
a subscription service like Hulu Plus would help
with-fortunately
Boxee has announced it's coming
to the Boxee Box this summer. Available now are
Netflix Watch Instantly and VUDU (which is on demand with rentals ranging from $2-7). The content
and quality of both services is good-and growing.
VOICEMAILS
ARE
SOLASTYEAR
However, it's in Boxee's ability to catalog your local
media files-any videos stored on a flash drive, external hard disk or networked storage-that
it truly hits
its stride. The Boxee software will gather all possible
information for any music or photos it finds, which,
combined with the easy-to-use interface, is a treat.
The Boxee also has social networking abilities. The
Friends feature lets you see a live-updating feed of
videos your Twitter and Facebook friends have
recently shared, while Watch Later is a viewing
queue populated with any video you've flagged to
Watch Later while browsing on the Box, or even
online on your computer from sites such as YouTube
that you can flag to be "sent to" the Boxee Box for
later viewing.
Apps round out the experience, and are, as they
sound, specialized programs that run on the Box.
The likes of Pandora Radio, YouTube and flickr are
just some examples. (The Guild app is a personal
recommendation; swoon along with me over Felicia
Day, sigh.)
Overall, the Boxee Box is a great stepping-stone
to cable independence (especially as they continue
to add content like Hulu Plus), a user friendly way
to bring web content to your TV and a great way to
organize your unwieldy collection of digital media.
Fellow couch potatoes, rejoice! ■
Asanybusydykeknows,
checkingvoicemailcanbe
inconvenient
but PhoneTag
offersa solutionbyconverting
yourvoicemessages
into
text messages
or emails.
PhoneTag
hasbeenintegrated
intoeverymajorU.S.phone
carrier,includingAT&T,
Alltel,
CincinnatiBell,Sprint,Skype,
T-Mobile,
Verizon,
Virginand
more.Phone
Tagoffersfree
trials,andyoucanstill listen
to yourvoicemailevenafter
it's converted
to textwiththis
application.
Perfect
for business
meetings.($30monthly
tee,phonetag.com)
[EleniStephanides]
April 2011
I 75
REVIEWSFood
PrimeCuts
Meet the lesbian couple behind L.A. 's first sustainable butcher shop. By Rachel Shatto
Whether you're a conscious carnivore or an
omnivore with a dilemma, the politics of
meat can be a sticky business-but
lesbian
butchers and real-life partners Amelia Posada
and Erika Nakamura may have the ethical
solution that you've been hungering for in
their sustainable, locally sourced L.A. butcher
shop, Lindy & Grundy.
76
I curve
Howdidyoumeet?
Nakamura:She happened to be helping a
friend of hers who owns a cafe throw this
event. It was like a drag show that I had
some [drag kings] friends involved with it.
She found me on MySpace a couple months
later and I had just rode the New York city
century bike tour and so there was a photo-
graph of [me] fixing a flat. And so she wrote
me this long email about how she was looking
for a bicycle.
Posada:
Which was so not true. [Laughs] My
only interest was in Erika.
Nakamura:
So it was like this wonderful flirtation all through email. [Laughs]
Whatis a sustainable
butchershop?
Nakamura:
It's about generating as little waste
as possible. We really try to use everything
we can and so when you're actually eating a
chicken then you take the chicken bones and
make stock out of it. When you do that at
home, you start to realize, hey you can really
apply this to a business model and create
more products as a result.
Posada:
All of the products that we carry in
our shop are from 150 miles of Los Angeles,
so the pickles that we use are going to be
made by a local pickle maker. Everything in
our shop is very, very local and is seasonal.
Everything is just literally made with love
by people like us who had a dream and are
trying to make money off of their dream.
Howdoyouwanttochange
thewaypeople
eat?
Posada:We're the only butcher shop in
Southern California that gets in entirely
whole animal carcasses. Most people these
days get their meat in a box, and so by us
getting in whole carcasses, we want to utilize
the whole animal. We want to try to move
people away from the tenderloin, away from
boneless skinless chicken breast and encourage
them to eat the rest of the animal, which is
also delicious and can be more economical.
We give them recipe suggestions so they
will feel comfortable branching away from
all the common cuts that you can see in the
grocery store.
Whatresponse
haveyoureceived
fromthe
lesbianvegetarian
community?
Posada:I'm so happy to have an articulate
dialog with somebody about food politics
as a conscious carnivore. I love to sit down
and talk to people about their concerns as a
vegetarian, as a vegan. As the conversation
starts to become rude or accusatory it's just
not helpful for anybody ... everybody needs to
:'.i:
~
~
z
z
~
respect each other's food politics ... I've had
vegetarians kind of scoff at what I do and
then I look at their feet and they' re wearing
leather shoes, or carrying a leather handbag.
We all pick and choose our battles and my
response is that choosing to not eat meat is a
first world privilege. Once you acknowledge
that, I think people really need to put themselves in check ... because most people in the
world don't have that option.
Whatabouttheenvironmental
concerns
over
meatproduction?
Nakamura:I think that the environmental
impact that many people refer to are these
kind of factories, farming, feed lots where
there are all these animals that are crammed
in together and there's all this methane production as a result of it and it really is absolutely
heinous how that happens. The kind of farms
"At Lindy & Grundy's Meat, our stuff is 100 percent traceable.
that we support are small family farms.
Whatarethemisconceptions
about
We're totally transparent about what we do. We personally
butchering?
Nakamura:
The number one thing that always know all of our ranchers ... You're not going to get that at
blows my mind is that people think that I'm
Whole Foods. You're not going to get that at any grocery
a slaughterer because I'm a butcher. They're
store in the country that is corporate."
like, Oh my gosh, you kill things:' And I'm
like, Oh you guys, I wouldn't think of killing
a fly. That's how we both are. [But] I think
ents that are in meat-there should never be
people could start to do is to start eating
ingredients in meat. I was horrified; I mean I locally. Really looking around and seeing
the biggest misconceptions really are that
it's really bloody and really kind of pretty growas living Food, Inc. And that was it. I wasn't
who's in your community and what are they
tesque and it's actually not like that at all. ..
grossed out anymore. What's gross is the
doing. Maybe not shop so much at bigger
there's a really intricate craft involved.
fact that some people can only afford to feed
supermarkets and really go to your neighAmelia,canyoutell meaboutyourintroduction their families meat that has been pumped
borhood farmer's market. I think if people ...
with stuff that's hurting them.
to butchering?
give them their money instead of these bigger
Posada:My background is in floral and
What'sthebenefitof goingto a butchershop
corporations, I think that really does make a
overa grocerystore?
event design, I'm a super high-femme girliedifference in the long run.
Posada:At Lindy & Grundy's Meat, our
WheredoesthenameLindy& Grundy
come
girl. So I'm not exactly what people would
from?
stuff is 100 percent traceable. We're totally
imagine when they think of a butcher. My
Posada:Those are actually our nicknames
transparent about what we do. We personfirst day [interning at Fleischer's Grass-fed
ally know all of our ranchers and we have
& Organic meats] ... they were like, 0 K we
that our family and friends call us.
personally visited them many, many times.
need to take a different approach. So Hans
Nakamura: A lot people walk into a
Sebold, who's a master butcher from Bavaria, You're not going to get that at Whole Foods.
butcher shop and expect to see some big
took me to Wal-Mart [meat section] ... it's all You're not going to get that at any grocery
guy in an apron who's like, Whadda ya
store in the country that is corporate. It's
want:' And so when you go walking into
sitting in Styrofoam wrapped in plastic and
it's coming from who knows where. He spent
Lindy & Grundy Meat, you're not seeing
just impossible.
Doyouhaveadvicefor peopleoutsideof L.A.
three hours going over the commodity meat
those people. You're seeing 5-foot tall,
to eat moresustainably?
and factory farming and big agriculture and
little lesbians who are like working away.
Nakamura:I think the number one thing
showing me all the quote unquote ingredi(lindyandgrundy.com) ■
April 2011
I 77
REVIEWSGeek Out
Worththe Wait: BuffySeason Eight
Our favorite slayer kicks ass, takes names and kisses dames. By Lisa Gunther
It has been nearly a decade smce Joss
Whedon's Buffy the VampireSlayerended its
phenomenal seven-season run on television,
and yet the titular blond character continues
to be one of the most recognized names in
pop culture. Featuring one of the first serious
lesbian relationships in television history, the
show has long occupied a very special place
in the hearts of LGBT geeks everywhere.
Willow and Tara were our heroes, fully realized characters who were so much more than
the sum of their sexuality, and we laughed and
cried along with them throughout their epic,
and ultimately tragic, story arc.
Buffy proved that femininity and being a
bad ass are not mutually exclusive and that a
real family is not necessarily made up of the
people related to you, but rather the people
who support you-a concept near and dear
to queer hearts. She died (twice) saving the
world from vampires, demons and the forces
of darkness and ended the television series by
posing this poignant question to young girls
everywhere: Are you ready to be strong?
In 2006, news of an eighth season m
comic book form spread across the Internet
78
I curve
like wildfire. We could hardly wait to see
what our heroine and her band of newlyactivated slayers had been up to since the
destroyed Sunnydale "went from being an
outie to an innie;' as rogue slayer-and ever
the lesbian fave-Faith
would later say in
issue six of the Brian K. Vaughn penned arc,
"No Future for You:'
Buffy declares, on the first page of issue #l,
"Everybody calls me Ma'am now:' Indeed, she
has come a long, long way from the bubblegum-chewing teenager she was when we first
met her. She has now taken on the role of a
general, and mentor to legions of
young women.
The forty-issue season was originally conceived as 22-issue seriesthe same as the number of episodes
per season on the TV series. But, as
Dark Horse editor and Buffy Season
Eight writer Scott Allie explains, it
became clear that there was no way
they could tell their entire story in
that time.
"We soon realized that a) we
had too much story to tell, and b)
the episode-to-issue comparison
didn't hold water. The volume of
story is different, the way a monthly issue
versus a weekly episode works on the audience
is totally different:'
Despite the change in mediums, the human
relationships that were at the heart of the
television series continued to blossom on the
page. Thankfully, so do the lesbian storylines.
As the season progresses, we discover that
Willow's relationship with Sapphic slayer
Kennedy is still going strong. And one of the
most memorable-and
headline grabbingstorylines from the newest season is the relation- :
z
ship between Buffy and i
her fellow slayer, ~
~
Cf)
w
a:
CJ
0
w
CJ
:c
I-
if
~
LL
:::J
f9,
z
w
I
u
Q
Satsu-the seeds of which were planted early
on in the series, when Satsu woke Buffy from
a magic spell by giving her a kiss, and culmi~
nated in a provocative love scene in "Wolves
at the Gate:'
There was, of course, criticism at the time
the issue came out. Some saw Buffy being
with another woman as sensational-as
a
way to boost sales. "It's inaccurate;' Allie
says of the claim. "It foists upon Joss an
agenda that's simply not him. He doesn't do
sexually exploitative stories to boost ratings
or sell comics. He tells involved stories of
often ill~conceived romance, full of twists
and turns and heartbreak, but I don't think
that's exploitive:'
Though it is made clear in the comics that
Buffy is not gay, the relationship between
Buffy and Satsu helps illustrate the fluidity
of sexuality, and Buffy's open~mindedness to~
ward different kinds of love. Even though she
and Satsu do not end up together, their rela~
tionship is an important part of her journey.
Now that season eight has come to a close,
we asked Allie what he learned from editing
and writing for the comics. "The main thing
we learned in doing this season is that we
want to keep it smaller, on a more personal
level next time. That it wasn't the budget or
the constraints of TV that forced the show to
focus on the characters. It was the characters.
There's no reason to get too preoccupied with
anything else:' ■
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April 2011
I 79
TOPTENREASONS
WELOVE
...
Jennifer
Chrisler
The fight for lesbian and gay
families is in good hands.
By Merryn Johns
As executive director of the
Family Equality Council,
Jennifer Chrisler has her
sights set on achieving
full equality for LGBT
families- but to do this
she must inspire as many
people as possible to help
make the changes needed
to achieve equality. And
as a mother herself (she
is raising sons Tim and
Tom with her spouse, the
former Massachusetts state
Senator, Cheryl Jacques)
she is especially committed
to realizing this goal. Here's
why we love her.
so I curve
7. She believesthe Federalgovernment
will
acceptLGBTfamilies."Slowly but surely the
federal government is adjusting its policies
to better recognize the many diverse families
that exist in the U.S. Some of the significant
changes have included passage of the Hate
Crimes law and repeal of Don't Ask, Don't
2. Shepusheshard,especiallyin Washington Tell-both of which are important to famiD.C.She took hundreds of LGBT families
lies. But there have been many other changes
to the White House Egg Roll when George
as well-the president extending some beneBush was President; she represented our famfits to federal employees, including considering
ilies by standing with President Obama in the
family status in housing allotments for state
Oval Office as he signed an executive order
department employees, mandated equality in
extending benefits to federal employees.
hospital visitation regulations so that LGBT
patients can have their loved ones with them
3. She translatesCensus-speak.
"The U.S.
in a time of medical need. The Department
government would describe us as an unmarof Labor clarifying that Family Medical Leave
ried same-sex headed household with two
applies to all parents (even if they cannot be
children. My next door neighbor would
recognized under their state laws) so that
describe us as great parents raising great kids
parents can take care of their children:'
who are good neighbors and committed to
8. Marriageis onlyone sliceof the equality
our community:'
pie. 'J\chieving marriage for LGBT people
4. Shehasadviceforlove-struck
lesbian
couples in all 50 states helps change the debate and
thinkingofhavingkids."Have great estate docdialogue in this country but we also have to
uments including wills and trusts. Write an
change the disparities in health that our community experiences, we have to ensure that
agreement up front about what will happen
youth aren't bullying, we have to make sure
if the worst happens and you break up. Do
it while you are in love so you don't do awful
that people aren't fired simply because of their
things to each other when you aren't:'
sexual orientation or gender identity. Ours is
a human rights platform and marriage is a big
5. Shehasgoodadvicefor lesbianspartnering piece-but not the only:'
with a womanwith children."They are not
just getting involved with the mom-they
9. Her"ToDo"listthisyearshouldmakeLGBT
familiesproud.1) Work for the passage of
are getting involved with a family. If you are
the Every Child Deserves a Family Act-the
going to be an integral part of the family then
it's important to have conversations about
Family Equality Council's signature bill that
would incentivize states to not discriminate
what role you are going to play. If you want
to actively parent, then make sure you know
in their adoption and foster care placement
what the adoption laws are in your state,
practices. 2) Help ensure that Florida continues
whether you have any rights as a potential
to allow gay and lesbian people to foster and
step-parent. Your best bet is to consult a really adopt. 3) Work with federal administration
smart, LGBT-competent lawyer:'
officials to ensure that LGBT families have
access to important government programs.
6. Shebelievesmainstream
Americawill even- 4) Continue to change the hearts and minds
tuallyacceptLGBTfamilies."More and more
of the American public about LGBT families
people know an LGBT family; they see that
and build community for the LGBT families.
our lives are focused on the things most fami10. Shebelievesthe futurelooksbright,and
lies worry about: Getting kids to school, par0
yet rollsup her sleeves."We will achieve full u
ticipating in our community, worrying about
~
play dates and basketball games, raising chilequality for LGBT people, but we will still :J<l'.
:::J
have the hard work of eliminating homophobia aw
dren with good values. As more get to know
and transphobia from the hearts and minds ~
us, more people will change their hearts and
~
~
minds about our families:'
■
of the people:' (familyequality.org)
1 . ShebatsforthoseLGBTfolksalreadybringingupkidswithlittlerecognition.
"I use my experience as a mother, a communicator, a fund
raiser to help me do the best I can for the one
million LGBT parents raising 2 million children in the
u.s:·
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n
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Impressionism is the second most inJluential movement this paintin9 was part of
A TOLERANT WORLD IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. But we're getting there. At Progressive, we /
believe in respecting all people and finding beauty in their differences. It's just one way we live
up to our name. To learn more about our Works in Progress initiative, visit progressive.com/lgbt.
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