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Description
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ToC Cover: Laughing Out Loud with Lily Tomlin by Merryn Jones (p56); A Matter of Faith by Victoria A. Brownworth (p30); Hoop Dreams by Lyndsey D'Arcangelo (p34); Fostering Success by Adam L. Brinklow (p36); 2012 Holiday Gift Guide (p39); Whip it Good by Lauren Barkume (p62); Stay Gay in N.Y.C. by Merryn Johns (p66); The Pride of Manchester by Gilian Kendall (p68); Cover Photo by Jenny Risher.
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Holiday Gift Guide
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issue
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10
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Date Issued
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December 2012
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol22_No10_December-2012_OCR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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JEN FOSTER
TUCKY WILLIAMS
DANA GOLDBERG
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Features
56
DECEMBER
2012
Laughing Out Loud
Lily Tomlin has made us laugh for over four
decades with her unforgettable characters.
Now she talks about her new TV role and
opens up about a lifetime of love and creative
collaboration with her partner, Jane Wagner.
By Merryn Johns
30
A Matter of Faith
Meet the lesbians at the pulpit who refuse
to choose between their sexuality and their
calling. By Victoria A Brownworth
34
Hoop Dreams
A passion for basketball and for being out is
taking Jacki Gemelos to the top of her game.
By Lyndsey O'Arcangelo
36
Fostering Success
Award-winning songwriter Jen Foster is
mastering musical genres and staying true to
herself on the road to rock 'n' roll stardom.
By Adam L. Brink/ow
2012 Holiday Gift Guide
Over 100 great gift ideas to suit every
lesbian's budget, starting at as little as $5.
Hand-selected to reflect our commitment to
equal rights, women in business, fair trade
and sustainable and cruelty-free products.
52
Whip It Good
The roller derby craze has hit South Africa
and is empowering women to find their inner
strength. By Lauren Barkume
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Heading to the Big Apple? Then you'll need
to know all about this chic hotel made by
and just for us! By Merryn Johns
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The Pride of Manchester
Manchester Pride has been voted the best
of Britain. Curve investigates and discovers
why no lesbian should miss this amazing
annual event. By Gillian Kendall
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December 2012
I1
Departments
IN EVERY ISSUE
6
7
8
10
17
18
20
26
80
22
Editor's Letter
24
Laugh Track
Comic Dana Goldberg gives us her unique
and humorous spin on her plans for the
holidays.
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
Out in Front
Lesbofile
The Two of Us
Our monthly profile of lesbian couples
who live, love and work together.
Letters
Contributors
DECEMBER
2012
28
Politics
The holidays often mean emptying our
wallets, but are we spending too much
on things that are not worth giving?
By Victoria A. Brownworth
Lipstick & Dipstick
Scene
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Curvatures
Everyone loves to pop a cork of
something special on New Year's
Eve. Here are our picks for the
perfect celebration libation. Plus,
stylish and lesbo-sexy calendars
for 2013. Spoiler alert: This year
is going to be a hot one!
72
74
76
Music: Harmonizing folk-rock band
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Girlyman shares their story of love, music
and mortality.
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Books: Poet Akinfe Fatou uses the power
of words to explore the body. Plus, two new
books probe the dark side of relationships.
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The Queer Kardashian
Just when you thought you'd seen every last
Kardashian grace the cover of your gossip rag,
a web series created by filmmaker Ryan Logan
emerges, following the misadventures of the
so-called long-lost lezzie sister: Kam Kardashian.
e
Inaugural Lesbro
Introducing a new feature series, "Lesbros We Love;'
and our very first lesbro: Arizona teen, anti-bullying
and LGBT student safety advocate Caleb Laieski.
e
Chatting up Hesta Prynn
Curve music bloggers Melany Joy Beck and
Janelle Sorenson never miss a chance to catch up
with this fiery-haired and sexually-fluid musician
who spills the tea on her new EP We Could Fall in
Love and touring as a DJ for the Chippendales
(yes, those Chippendales).
e
Travelling Troubador
Meet Amy Andrews, the singer-songwriter and
fierce feminist who has hit the road, traveling
across the United States and Toronto, Ontario,
playing at feminist bookstores and centers to
raise money and awareness about the need for
safe, supportive and queer-friendly spaces.
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Lesbian Film Evolution
As founder and CEO of BuskFilms, Andrea Wing
stands at the helm of a video-on-demand website that
houses the very best of the independent queer film
circuit, a revolutionary step in the way LGBT artists
share their stories with the world.
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LETTERS
From Curve's
Facebook Wall
k-
-
TH~~
GENERATION
OF LESBIAN
ROCKSTAR
HASARRIVED
I
~e,
LESBIAN
VETERANS
SPEAK
OUT
Curve is For Real Women
I am a straight, 29,year,old female and I've
been a subscriber for almost three years now.
I tell anyone I meet how wonderful your
publication is. I believe we are all created
equal and loved by the same God, so I am
interested in your articles and the fight for
rights. More so, your magazine highlights
real women. Not the crap of how to change
ourselves, appease others and the silly diets
and "sex tips" of regular women's publica,
tions. Each month, you show me strong,
professional women who are chasing their
dreams and breaking barriers. curve is the
ultimate women's empowerment magazine
and I thank you for that!
-Paula Kovac, Massillon, Ohio
Monthly Magic
honesty and clarity with which she shared
her experience. I was raped in college by a
male friend of mine. This was a guy I liked
as a friend. I never reported it. What's more,
I graduated with him, and no one knew
about our "situation:' I have spent 15 years
dealing with the fallout of that experience.
Yes, the war on women is real. It happens
on a personal level and it happens on a politi,
cal level. As women, we are still socialized
to not "rock the boat" when it comes to the
power of men. While he takes his autonomy
for granted, and society rewards him for his
ability to take what he wants, I have strug,
gled to find mine, and society encourages
me to not want to take. Even women who
have not been raped live with this inequal,
ity. The war on women can manifest itself
in extreme ways, such as rape, and in much
more subtle ways, like expecting women to
defer to men, to trust their choices, to allow
to put them in "binders:' Women should
not be forced to do anything by men against
their will, ever.
-Name and address withheld.
Cinematic Seduction
As a self,confessed cinephile, I thoroughly
enjoyed your piece on movie night in with
food and beverage pairings, but I'd like to
add the best lesbian movie of all time fea,
turing the luscious (and yet non,lesbian)
Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilley-Bound.
Here's what I would recommend to honor
its running,from,the,mob
storyline: spicy
Italian,American meatballs with a soft and
fruity Sangiovese.
-Kelly E. Harris, New York
To all at curve: You slay me with every issue!
I loved Kiyomi and all the other yummy
stuff inside [Vol. 22#9). I subscribe to Elle
and Harper's Bazaar and I have to say, it's
you I really look forward to in my mailbox
each month. You speak to me, not at me.
You understand what I need, not try to sell
me things I'm not sure I want. My baby's in
the military and your article ['i\sking and
Telling"] meant so much to me. Hugs.
-Gaby Pelirao, via email.
Sendlettersto: curve magazine
POBox467,NewYork,NY10034
Courageous Columnist
EMAIL:letters@curvemag.com
FAX:510.380.7487
GOTO:curvemag.com/letters
•
I curve
Workhardandthat'swhatyouget! Go
HunterValentine!-Shelley Martin
Justsawthemin concertamazing!!!
Loveit! -Tara Hardwick-Broski
Loveher!Butwait... Whereis the butch
that is Kiyomi????
Takethat make-up
off andshowusthe hott butchiethat
youare!!!-Kimberly BeckGilmore
Awesome!
Theirmusicis bomb!!
-Rebecca Poncho
two words... thud& yum-Supah Sweet
LIKE,LIKE,LIKE-Jean Turner-Floyd
WishGaGawasgay-Sarah E Garcia
I can'twait to get my magazinein the
mail!!!!!!!:0 -Ashley Wilkerson
I lovereadingcurve, andseeingthe
amazinglybeautifulwomenthat grace
eachcover.Themagazinecoversshow
womenof all races,shapes,sizesand
styles.Kyomiis onewoman,among
many,that breaksstereotypes
and
labels.That'swhatbeingsexyis about!
-Gin Rusch
POST ON FACEBOOK!
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Thank you to Victoria A. Brown worth for her
column ["The War on Women;' Vol. 22#9).
As a survivor of rape I was very moved by the
6
Thecoveris fabulous!Kiyomiis a
beautifullydiverselesbianandlooks
amazingonthis cover!Greatjob to all!
-Diamonds'n Sapphires
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CONTRIBUTORS
GillianKendallhas written more travel features for curve
than for any other publication. After temporarily breaking
up with her long~time partner in May 2011, she divided
her time between the U.S. and the UK., while 99 percent
of her possessions and a sizable chunk of her heart remain
in Melbourne, Australia. Recently, she bought a tiny
house in Florida. Co~author of How I Became a Human
Being, author of the New York Times notable book of the
year Mr. Ding's Chicken Feet, and editor of Something to
Declare: Good Lesbian Travel Writing, she loves going
to new places, revisiting old ones and writing about her
experiences. This month she visits Manchester. You can
visit her at gilliankendall.org.
CherylMazakhas been photographing for the past decade.
Her work has appeared in a variety of publications
including many magazines, covers, CDs, marketing and
PR, and educational books on photography. She is a pro
at getting into the heart of her subjects to capture their
essence in her lens and has photographed everyone from
the L Word cast to one of her favorite heroes, Billie Jean
King. She's trying out the other side of the lens at the
moment by participating in a Canadian reality show, Are
You Sweet Enough, with three other competitors running
a gauntlet of culinary, marketing and business~related
competitions and vying for an apprenticeship with French
chocolatier, Marc Forrat.
Contributing editor SherylKayhas been scouring the planet
for the past six years searching for awe~inspiring stories of
remarkable community activists and sharing them in her
column, Out in Front. Most recently, Kay headed south
to San Jose, Costa Rica to connect with the women who
have been leading the LGBT civil rights movement there.
"Yes, we still have many rivers to cross here;' Kay says,
"but until you've walked a mile in the shoes of a lesbian
in a developing country, it's hard to imagine how many
blessings you have right here in America:' Kay says the
world is really just one big village, and hopes that by
connecting lesbians across borders, the inner workings of
each movement will serve as a beacon of inspiration and
innovation for others.
LaurenBarkumeis an American freelance photographer
based in Johannesburg, South Africa after her move
from Connecticut in 2009 to work as a program manager
at the Aid to Artisans South Africa Trust. In 2005 she
graduated from the University of Virginia, majoring in
Anthropology with a minor in Studio Art. Her work in
international development has allowed her to travel to
some of the poorest areas in South Africa and her role
as a trainer has allowed her to meet a variety of people
from all walks of life, granting her access to photograph
intimate portraits of rural life across Africa-this month
her subject is roller derby. Barkume won third place in
the 2010 Africa Photographic Awards Youth Culture
category which is entered by thousands of photographers.
She has been published in The Yale Journal of Human
Rights, CNN, BBC News Online and is a contributing
photographer to Getty Images. ■
December 2012
I7
EDITOR'S
NOTE
S
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
by birth, although I have made the United States my
home for the last seven years. For me, one of the true
joys of living in New York City has been the holidays-and the
weather at that time of year. Yes, that's right: I haven't yet tired
of the snow dumps that shut down public transportation,
the bare, lifeless trees, the icy and treacherous pavements, the
frozen eyelashes and chattering teeth. I love all of it.
Growing up in Australia, I was used to celebrating
Christmas Day in 110-degree heat. My mother often insisted
on baking a leg of lamb, which took the temperature of the
house even higher, and as the air outside throbbed and the
cicadas droned on and the smell of wildfire smoke hung in the air, we sat down
to Christmas dinner: meat with gravy,
roasted potatoes and a very heavy dessert,
such as plum pudding ( served warm, of
course). After dinner, we would retire to
the lounge and watch Her Majesty Queen
Elizabeth give her Christmas message to
the Commonwealth on TV. That distant
monarch dictating our customs in a colonial environment and a climate that was
completely inappropriate-even
the kidfriendly yuletide iconography of Santa in
his gloves, boots and woolen suit-it
all
seemed ridiculous to me.
I guess what I am trying to say is that
even though I am a person of white, AngloSaxon, Protestant descent, I felt odd, out
of place and excluded at this time of year.
And once I grew up to be gay, those feelings increased. It's such a relief now to be
an independent adult, to create my own holiday customsand to experience them in the "correct" context. But in a way,
I am glad that I knew the feeling of not fitting in, even at a
time of year considered universally understood. That feeling
creates extraordinary empathy for others.
Many of us feel out of place during the holidays, so I hope
this issue of curve adds some lesbian cheer to the season.
We have our biggest Budget Gift Guide ever, featuring presents for you and yours, some as inexpensive as $5. And we
have the indispensable advice of Lipstick and Dipstick, the
wisecracking wisdom of Dana Goldberg, the legend that is
Lily Tomlin and lots more to keep you entertained.
So, wherever you are, enjoy the holidays in the way that
feels right to you.
HAPPY
-If~/
~~,_.
Merryn
Editor-i
merryn@curvemag.com
s I curve
LESBIAN
MAGAZINE
OME
OFYOU
might be aware by now that I am Australian
DECEMBER
2012
I
VOLUME 22 NUMBER
10
Publisher Silke Bader
Founding Publisher Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Merryn Johns
Managing Editor Rachel Shatto
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
Contributing Editors Victoria A. Brownworth, Gina Daggett,
Jillian Eugenios, Sheryl Kay, Stephanie Schroeder
Editorial Assistants Adam Brinklow, Kim Hoffman
OPERATIONS
Director of Operations Laura McConnell
ADVERTISING
East Coast Sales
Robin Perron (910) 795-0907, robin@curvemag.com
National Sales
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemag.com
Business Development
Sallyanne Monti (510) 545-4986, sallyanne@curvemag.com
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Adam L. Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin,
Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Traci Dinwiddie, Maria De La 0,
Jill Goldstein, Lisa Gunther, Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall,
Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey,
Jess McAvoy, Ariel Messman-Rucker, Emelina Minero,
Laurie K. Schenden, Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson,
Allison Steinberg, Stella & Lucy, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull,
Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce, Tina Vasquez, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Erica Beckman, Meagan Cignoli, JD Disalvatore,
Sophia Hantzes, Syd London, Cheryl Mazak, Maggie Parker,
Leslie Van Stelten
PO Box 467
New York, NY 10034
Phone (415) 871-0569 Fax (510) 380-7487
Advertising Sales (415) 692-5420
Subscription Inquiries (800) 705-0070 (toll-tree in us only)
(818) 286-31 02 (outside US)
Advertising Email advertising@curvemag.com
Editorial Email editor@curvemag.com
Letters to the Editor Email letters@curvemag.com
Volume 22 Issue 10 Curve (ISSN 1087 -867X) is published monthly (except for bimonthly
January/February and July/August) by Avalon Media, LLC, PO Box 467, New York NY
10034. Subscription price: $5g_90/year, $59.90 Canadian (U.S. funds only) and $89.95
international (U.S. funds only). Returned checks will be assessed a $25 surcharge. Periodicals
postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additional mailing offices (USPS 0010-355).
Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part,
without written permission from the publisher. Publication of the name or photograph of any
persons or organizations appearing, advertising or listing in Curve may not be taken as an
indication of the sexual orientation of that individual or group unless specifically stated. Curve
welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE for response.
Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions cannot be
returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope is included. No responsibility is assumed
for loss or damages. The contents do not necessaraly represent the opinions of the editor,
unless specifically stated. All magazines sent discreetly. Subscription Inquiries: Please write
to Curve, Avalon Media LLC., PO Box 467 New York NY 10034, email crvcs@magserv.com.
Canadian Agreement Number: 40793029. Postmaster:Send Canadianaddresschangesto crvcs@
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crvcs@magserv.com,Curve, PO Box 17138, N. Hollywood, CA 91615-7138. Printed in the U.S.
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Queer Cork Poppers
Ring in the New Year with these pocket-friendly beverages.
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Thisdryyetfruit-forwardtraditionalstylebubblyis madefrom
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ThislightgoldItaliansparkleris an
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Giveyourbubblya kickwithsweet
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with a roundandlusciousfinish,it
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andwill makeyourNYEextraseductive.($22,banfivintners.com)
JAILLANCE
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Yougeta lot of bubblesfor your
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Jaillanceis the numberoneFrench
brandafterChampagne,
andwidely
distributedin the U.S.Sofor a taste
of thecontinentwe sayvivela
Jaillance!($19,jaillance.com)
December 2012
I 11
CURVATURES
365 Days of Sexy
Lesbian-themed calendars promise that 2013 is going to be a hot one. By Kim Hoffman
The Mayans may have predicted the world would end this
month, but they didn't know about these affirmative, playful
and sexy lesbian-centric calendars that remind us that not
only is 2013 on the way, it's going to be lucky and lesbo-sexy.
Here's to a happy new year, and cheers to the bold-minded
women behind our favorite month-to-month keepsakes.
Pin-UpEssential
Brought to you by Girlfriends Films, winners of AVN's
Best All-Girl Series award for 5 consecutive years, the
Pin-UpGirlscalendar features lesbian adult stars dressed in
vintage lingerie. Garters, panties and bustiers-oh,
my!
(girlfriends.films.com/
pinup_calendar)
FamilyMatters
With a queer artist like Elisha Lim at the helm, TheComfort
of QueerFamilyWisdomis a must-have for your upcoming
year, complete with Lim's inimitable illustrations, loud and
proud reminders and loving advice. (elishalim.etsy.com)
.
oil>
hu•
Sir
"'
StraddleThis
The Autostraddle
gals are back and this time they take it to
the water with one playful, hot-commodity beach photozine calendar. Photographer Robin Roemer and stylist and
co-producer Sara Medd capture all that it means to be free
and extraordinary. We suggest you get your hands on it, stat.
(autostraddle.com)
NoirSexy
Photographer Cristina de la Maderas alluring L-calendar
captures the gentleness of lady couples and friends
through a series of stunning black and white photos.
(cristinadelamadera.com)
PrettyButch
If you're looking for some tough-girl eye candy, It's AllButch
has a 12-month spread thanks to photographer Debbie
Boud with a diverse group of dykes hard at work and play.
(itsallbutch.com)
LocalLez
The girl-scene in Pittsburgh is so smokin', LezDoIt Pittsburgh
put together their first-ever calendar. A Beautiful Year,
photographed by Mara Rago, is a tribute to the gay women
in the community. (lezdoitpgh.com/the-calendar)■
12
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December 2012
I 13
CURVATURES
the rundown
The Vaticanhas condemned the symbolic marriage of Ida and Mariagrazia, a lesbian
couple in Bologna,Italy.The women were married by local councilor SergioLo Giudice
who is the former president of the Italian LGBT organization Arcigay.The couple mar~
ried at Hospice Seragnoli, a hospital for the terminally ill where Mariagrazia is a patient.
Same~sex marriage is not legal in Italy... KristeneChapa,the 18~year~old Texaslesbian
who was shot in the head in June has spoken out about her own recovery, and the death
of her girlfriend, 19~year~old MollieJudithOlginwho was shot and killed in the same
attack. Chapa, who remains in a rehabilitation center wrote on Facebook, "Today marks 3
months since my accident. I've learned life is so fragile and cherish the people you have in
your life[,] love them[,] don't take things for granted:' Chapa also indicated that she has a
new girlfriend, saying,"! was heartbroken but I'm not gonna be single for the rest of my life... she's in my heart
dt':::;::
~
IIEN'I
but I needed something else. I wanted a girl to be there for me and understand what I'm going through:' Tue
police investigation into the attack remains open ... TereskaTorres,
a French writer who is credited with writ~
ing America's first lesbian pulp novel, died in Paris at the age of 92. Torres, who wrote 20 books, remains
rs
best known for Women's
Barracks,
which was published in the United States in 1950. The book provided
readers with a fictionalized account of Torres' wartime service with the women's division of the Free
French forces and includes sexual scenes between the women. The paperback has sold four million copies
in the United States, was translated into more than a dozen languages, and was reprinted in 2005 by
Feminist
Press... Police in DavaoCity,Philippines
claim that MarivicLiloc,a 22~year~old lesbian, snapped
after her girlfriend broke up with her. Lilac, who is a criminology student, is accused of stabbing
to death three of her relatives and
Hot Tee of the Month
wounding two additional children.
"We learned that Marivic was depressed because
her girlfriend broke up with her;' reports a senior police
officer. The case is currently under investigation ... One of
HongKong's
richest men, CecilChaoSze-tsung,
made a public
offer of $65 million to any man who can make his daughter
straight. The property and shipping tycoon has promised the
money to any man who can convince his daughter GigiChao,
an out lesbian, to walk down the aisle. Chao is believed to
have married her long~term girlfriend SeanEavat a private
ceremony in France. About her father's financial offer she
told the press, "Sometimes people just refuse to accept what
they are told ... he has an interesting interpretation of me:'
[Sassafras
Lowrey]
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Thirty-something
Miafinds her
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free-spiritedFrida.Notablefor
its sumptuouslovescenes,Kiss
Medeftly portraysthe ecstasy
of true undeniablelesbianlove
entwinedwith the angstof
comingout. 105 min.
A glossy,sexyandfun romanticdramafrom NicoleConn(Bena
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in love.Filledwith achingdesire,andthe sexualchemistrybetween
NivenandClarkis off the charts! 110min.
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GayteenTimand his bestfriends
Brieand Lauraspendthe summer
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A Marine
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OUTINFRONT
Changing
Norms
On the page and in the
boardroom, these women are
creating change.
By Sheryl Kay
A Mighty Pen
As a child, Lesh~a
Newmanwas
often bullied: for being fat, for
having frizzy hair, for wearing
glasses. Decades later, she can
still recall the cruelty; she says
it helped make her the person
she is today. "It's a big part of
the reason I fight-not
for
tolerance of those who might
be considered 'different; but
for acceptance, and beyond that, respect, and
beyond that, celebration;' Newman says.
While some fight in legal arenas or political
spheres, Newman is best known as an awardwinning writer and public speaker. In a career
spanning 25 years, she's broken all sorts of
barriers with her LGBT-themed
works,
especially the children's book Heather Has
Two Mommies, published in 1989. Truly the
first of its kind, the book quickly sent social
conservatives over the edge. It began to disappear from libraries, and politicians called for
its immediate ban (Jesse Helms bashed the
story from the floor of the U.S Senate). "By
writing books about lesbians, and children of
lesbians, I aim first of all to tell a story, and
second to show people that we're here, we're
queer and we matter," Newman says. "My
z writing is my activism:'
~:J
In 1998, Newman was invite d to be
~
the keynote speaker at the University of
(.)
~ Wyoming's Gay Awareness Week. Just before
; she was scheduled to fly to Laramie, the head
:.::
of the school's LGBT Association called
w
a:
to
tell her what had happened to his friend
~
~ Matthew Shepard. Visiting the school and
meeting Shepard's friends and teachers was
~ a profound experience for Newman. It would
w
6 be more than a decade before she could write
N
:;;; about it. And write she did, in the recently
~
<{
published October Mourning: A Song for
i
~
Matthew Shepard,a book
that explores the impact
of Shepard's murder in a
series of 68 poems.
"My hope;' Newman says, "is that the book
honors Matt's legacy and inspires those who
read it to replace hatred with compassion,
acceptance and love:'
Write on, Leslea.
Queering Corporations
The initial C in Dr.YvetteC. Burton's
name
might well stand for "change;' because she has
spent most of her professional life assessing,
defining and building new paradigms of
corporate transformation.
Her passion for understanding people and
organizations goes way back. "My grandmother always says, 'No one likes change but
a wet baby;" Burton explains. "Even when it's
obvious that a change is for the better, people
resist change:'
According to Burton, sometimes progress begins in the boardroom. Actions like
the corporate adoption of domestic partner
benefits, giving same-sex spouses and partners health insurance and life insurance, has
helped to advance LGBT policy within the
government sector, too.
Burton also credits the competition for
critical talent among corporations and the
increased visibility of corporate practices
as major factors in the steady increase in
LGBT-supportive corporations. For more
than a decade she put this to good use at
IBM, where she has achieved numerous
milestones, including the creation and management of a global business-development
organization within the company-one
that
has generated more than $200 million in
new business through strategy advisement
on diversity solutions. "Person-by-person,
company-by-company, and sector-by-sector,
LGBT inclusion will continue to become
the norm and a key market differentiator;'
says Burton, who today is a Human Capital
Management consultant in private practice.
So how does a company make strides in
the right direction:' According to Burton
the first step in the "coming out" process is
for executives to understand the costs and
negative consequences of their exclusionary
practices. Once that perspective has been
embraced, the company must hold educational
and skills-building sessions designed to make
executives aware of the benefits in creating a
work environment where all employees can
bring their "whole self" to the office. Then
the leadership needs to implement workplace
policies that reflect a culture of inclusion.
In the end, beyond being willing to make
changes, Burton says people and companies
must be prepared for transformation. "I was
lucky enough to become deeply involved
with numerous companies that were going
through the process of choosing and valuing
diversity;' she says. "This has led to opportunities for me to contribute to the progress
of our movement. I was prepared, and I was
more than willing:' ■
December 2012
I 17
LESBOFILE
The A-List of the L-List High profilecelesbiansmake a splash
this month. By Jocelyn Voo
Bunny Love
Before parenting, there was
Playboy-and Playmate-turneddishes allabout
mom JennyMcCarthy
her former life, including lesbian orgies,
in her new memoir. The Surprisehost opens
up about one night in particular, where she
and her fellow playmates engaged in an
ecstasy-and-Vicodin-fueled night of sex.
"It was incredibly intense;' she says of
the drugs, "so much so that we all began to
express love for one another by making out
with each other:'
While we applaud the fact that the mom
of one now spends more time devoted to
autism activism and environmental causes
than pill-pushing, let us reflect for a moment
on the fact that blonde bombshell McCarthy
once humped like with Bunnies.
assets she originally
brought into the relationship. Translation:
Price ain't no gold digger.
The 1 Percent
Jasika Nicolewants to talk role-playing.
(No, not that role-playing.) The Fringeactor,
who's Los Angeles-bound with her partner
after the show ends, is the minority in
Hollywood, being both African-American
and an out lesbian. And though her talent
shows through, Nicole admits it's not an
even keel when it comes to casting.
Speaking on how most onscreen roles
call for white female characters unless
explicitly stated otherwise, she notes, "I
think that is a misconception that to go in
a different direction you have to rewrite
your character ... Everybody's still looking
I Ain't Sayin' She's a Gold Digger
for love. Everybody's still trying to find their
Ladies, get your handkerchiefs out: k.d.lang way in the world. Those things are human
and JamiePrice-her wife of two yearsqualities, not necessarily race-specific qualihave ended their domestic partnership.
ties. And they're certainly not gender-specific
According to TMZ, the Grammy-studded
qualities or sexuality quality either:'
singer filed paperwork earlier this year,
"It's so complicated because I'd love to
and both lang and Price waived the right
play a queer woman on a television show
to support, meaning that both women
but that's only because I think we need
have agreed to leave with the financial
to see more queer women on television,
18
I curve
not because it's the only thing I can play,
certainly;' she adds.
Art Imitating Life
WandaSykes,EllenDeGeneres,
Beyonce-we
all have our celeb role models. And then
there's Lindsay Lohan who-surpriseturns out to actually be the inspiration for
L Word character NikiStevens.Kate French
revealed on Twitter that her character
was in fact influenced by director Angela
Robinson's time spent with the redheaded
actress (pre-downward spiral, of course).
Which, as AfterEllen points out, brings up
the question: Is Jenny Schecter supposed to
be Sam Ronson?
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Best New Movie of the Year
It was only a matter of time. Satire king
Sacha BaronCohen,of Borat and Bruno
fame, is now embarking on a new cinematic
project, tentatively tided TheLesbian.Based
on the real story of Hong Kong billionaire
Cecil Chao's multi-million dollar offer for
any man who manages to woo his lesbian
daughter into marriage, the film positions
Cohen as both producer and lead actor
( of course). Us? We'll be the first in line
at the theater. ■
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She Said
December 2012
I 19
Holiday Family Drama This year, declare that love is love
and gender doesn't matter. By Lipstick and Dipstick
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: My father continues to call my wife
a pervert, doesn't allow us in his home together and says
terrible things about the LGBT community. Why do I still talk
welcome back into your life when he recognizes what is important. Until then, you
girls should decorate your own "fur" tree
with new balls, and have a happier holiday
without daddy!
to him? Well, he's my dad and my only parent. I know I can't
change him, but I thought he might slowly come to terms with
the idea that my wife and I are a couple. The holidays are
making this especially difficult. I feel as if I'm being forced to
choose here and it breaks my heart. - Bad Santa
Dipstick:
If the Mayans are right, we'll all be
dead by Christmas. How do you want to live
the last days of your life-cowering to your
bigoted father, or standing up for yourself,
your community and your love? It's time to
sit the old man down and tell him that he
doesn't have to agree with your life choices,
but he does need to show your friends,
and you, some respect. Let him know
that he's forcing you to choose, yet he's
the one who has the most to lose. The
jingle ball is then in his court.
Lipstick:
Since I'm more of an apocaloptimist, I'd ask you not how you
want to live your last days, but how
you want to live all your days. By being
docile, you're giving your dad permission to treat you like a steaming heap
of reindeer poop. You have the power
to change that. Even though your dad's
the only parent you've got, you've got
to stand up for yourself! Given your
situation, I thought it was fitting to
bring my parental unit into the conversation. Mama, what say you:'
Lipstick'sMama: What's up, Santa
Girl:' You're not bad-you
are your
father's greatest gift! He was blessed to
be able to give you life. Now, he should
let you live it the way you choose. A
20
I curve
parent's love should be unconditional. It
should never be affected by who a child
loves. In a perfect world, your dad should
just be happy that you've found someone. If he can't be respectful of your choice,
you need to live your own life. Love is love.
Gender doesn't matter. Let him know he is
Lipstick:
See where all my good sense comes
from:' Good Santa, decide right now that
you deserve more. If you can't find the
strength to do it for yourself-you've probably been dealing with his belittling and
abuse your whole life-do it for your wife!
She'll respect you a hell of lot more if you
stand up to your owr. Fred Phelps Ebenezer
Scrooge this Christmas.
DearLipstickand Dipstick:My partner,Lori,
and I havebeentogether
forsevenyears.She
hasfourkids.Everyholiday,Loriwantsto be
onherownwithherkids.I havealwaysoffered
to havethemcometo myfamilyget-togethers.
I thinkthey may havegoneto one.
Justrecently,Loritold me she was
onceagainhavingher childrenover
on Christmas
Day.I said,"Whynot
comewith me to my sister's?"She
said,"Foronething,theydon'tknow
them."I responded,
"I wonderwhy?"
Shegotmadandhasn'ttalkedto me
since.I lefthera phonemessage
saying,"I knowmy familyisn'tperfect,
andsometimes
I don'tlikethem,but
theyaremyfamily.If youarenothappywithme,orwhereyou'reat,maybe
youshouldfinda placeof yourown."
She'sbeensleepingon the coucha
lot.Because
of mybusyworkschedule,wedon'tgettospenda lotoftime
together.
I'mtryinghardto makea go
ofit,andinthiseconomy
it'snoteasy.
WhatshouldI do?-HomeAloneTwo
Dipstick:Really:' It's been seven
years and you haven't worked this
out yet:' Don't let this linger on or it
will be the grandkids you're fighting
ex:
w
:,,:'.
ex:
ct
w
ci
CJ
<(
~
over! As you already know, people have a
lot of hopes and expectations, and a lot of
nostalgia tied in with the holiday season.
Single moms especially feel pulled in many
directions, and want to create holiday tra,
ditions that will be lasting memories for
their children. Lori might just cherish the
fleeting childhood moments she has with
her kids at Christmas and doesn't want
to change that. Why don't you offer a
compromise-she could spend Christmas
Day with her children and Christmas Eve
with your family? Or Christmas morning
with the kids and then dinner with your
sister? Instead of lashing out at her with
a passive,aggressive retort, sit down and
You girlsshould
decorateyour
own "fur"treewith
new ballsand
have a happier
holidaywithout
daddy!
have a conversation about what the holi,
days mean to you both, what you each
wants out of the experience and how you
can best move forward as a couple to make
that happen.
Lipstick:
They don't want to go to your sis,
ter's house because it's boring, and Lori's
children will lose that Christmas sparkle
in their eye. This comes down to your
partner putting her kids first, which is no
crime. In fact, it's the best way to be a mom,
especially at the holidays. Aren't they enti,
tled to a little childhood Christmas magic,
before it gets taken away by mall parking
road rage, credit card bills and trying to get
the perfect scald on the turkey? That said,
I'm not discounting your happiness. You,
too, deserve some Christmas magic. You
and Lori both need to focus on becoming
a family. It sounds like you have compart,
mentalized lives and that is what's broken
here. The push and pull you are enduring
around the holidays is normal. What's not
is your inability to manage it all, and one
of you ending up on the couch. It's time
for you both to start hearing each other,
meeting in the middle and, most impor,
tantly, creating your own traditions. They
can be just as beautiful-if
not more
amazing-than
what you both are trying
to hold on to without each other. Seven
years is a long time. Are you in this or not?
Are you a family or not? These are impor,
tant answers to find.
This Christmas, heed some advice
from the fella whose birthday you're eel,
ebrating and come together from a selfless
place of love.
DearLipstickandDipstick:
I've beenseeing
Monicafor almostfouryears.Recently,
she
movedawayfora monthandcamebackwith
a boyfriend.
Monicasaysshelovesme and
she'sonlywith himbecausehe hasmoney
andhe'spayingforherphone.DoI justlet it
gobecause
I lovehersomuch,orshouldI cut
the line?Thereare plentyof fishin the sea
anyway,right?-A FishCalledWanda
Lipstick:
Umm, so, yeah-can you do me a
favor, Wanda? Can you reread your ques,
tion for me? Go ahead. I'll wait ...
0 K, now tell me this: Are you asking
yourself the same thing I am-what the
fuck? Even if the money,and,phone thing
is the truth: WTF? WTF all around. It's
raining WTFs on you right now. Shake
your head, take a hard look at where you're
at in life and swim into the current without
this bottom feeder.
Dipstick:This gives me a great idea for a
new reality TV show: Go/diggersof New
Jersey.I'm sure we can find plenty of girls
to compete against Monica in extreme
challenges such as the Diamond Earring
Snatch, the Stripper Pole Poker Play,
Off and the Mink Stole Girlfriend Steal.
Winners get their choice of a ride on a
yacht with a politician or a night in an
NBA player's suite. Monica sounds like a
jewel. You'd be a fool to let this one go. See
if the new boyfriend can add you to his
phone plan (kidding). ■
facebook.com/lotlrescue
THETWOOFUS
Bridget and Karman
The funny lady and her editor wife open up. By Jillian Eugenics
Comic Bridget McManus and her wife Karman Kregloe aren't shy
about working together. The pair both work at AfterEllen.comMcManus as a columnist, Kregloe as the editor~in~chief-and
the happy couple recently starred in McManus' mockumentary
McManusland, which is loosely based on the life Kregloe and
McManus share with their dogs. Here's how they keep each other
inspired, while working hard and laughing along the way.
How they met
Bridget:The moment I saw Karman the entire room faded away
and I remember thinking, "This is the most beautiful woman I've
ever seen:' We were at The Comedy Store [in Los Angeles] so I
had to go on stage and perform my stand~up routine, and I remem~
ber thinking, "She's so cool and she's not going to think I'm funny:'
I stood onstage with the microphone shaking in my hand thinking,
"I just met my future wife:' And I had.
Karman:When I first met Bridget I thought she was stunningly
beautiful, very charming and a great listener. Then I watched
her perform and thought she was hilarious too. As she talked
about being a tormented fat kid, I thought, Ah, this is why such
a pretty girl also has such a great personality-she
grew up as
the underdog!
On working well together
Karman:I think we genuinely appreciate each other's abilities and
always want the greatest good for one another. I know Bridget
would do anything to help me, and I would do anything for her
too. Even if we weren't married and were just friends, we would
still be each other's biggest fans.
Bridget:I'm Karman's biggest cheerleader. I even have a custom~
made cheerleading uniform with Karman's name written across
the chest. Karman has such great ideas that I truly can't wait to
see the magic that she creates. And as a creative person mysel£ I
feel very blessed that every time I have an idea she always tells me
to go for it.
On inspiring each other
Karman:Bridget is a 'Just do it" kind of person. If she wants to
create something or do something she immediately gets the ball
rolling. As a procrastinator, I find that incredibly inspiring.
Bridget:
Karman is an endless adventurer. If there is something she
wants to know or do she dives right into exploring. I'm perfectly
content watching a Harry Potter movie on a Saturday afternoon
but Karman is a "get up and enjoy life" person. She inspires me to
get out of my pajamas.
22
I curve
On how their mockumentary mirrors their lives
Karman:Our devotion to and obsession with our animal friends,
Taffy, Shelby and Francine, is 100 percent accurate. All of the other
stuff is really just an amplified version of our lives-ways to just
make fun of ourselves and make ourselves laugh. I'm not dismissive
of Bridget at all, and Bridget is not a friendless megalomaniac.
How they keep each other laughing
Karman:Bridget makes me laugh many times a day. Some of the
crazy shit that comes out of her mouth is really astounding. My
mother always told me that I needed constant entertainment, so
it's a good thing that I married someone who provides just that.
She will give me spontaneous interpretative dance performances
and fashion throwaway lines of conversation into entire songs. It's
like living in a musical, only not annoying. We have a lot of fun.
Bridget:
Karman is funny all of the time. She says the most shocking
things and she does really stellar celebrity impressions. Her Liza
Minnelli is right on the money. (bridgetmcmanus.com) ■
to CURVE Magazine
LAUGH
TRACK
Holiday Hilarity
Jewish comic Dana Goldberg lets fly at holiday traditions and shares a few of her own.
By Merryn Johns
As one of the brightest lights in a stellar lesbian comedy land~
scape, Dana Goldberg has been making us laugh at some of the
best~known venues and lesbian events across the nation. Hot and
hilarious, Goldberg is a thinking woman's comic who mines her
background for wit and wisdom. And we love her so much that we
voted her one of the Top 5 Funniest Lesbians in America.
Doyouputupa treeor areyoustrictlya Hanukkahbushkindof gal?
I do enjoy a nicely trimmed Hanukkah bush. I mean, who doesn't?
Truth be told, I love this time of the year. There's something very
"cozy" about it no matter what your denomination-if
you can
escape the commercialism of the season. I grew up in New Mexico
so my Christmas experience with friends often consisted of
homemade tamales, posole with red chile, green chile stew and
biscochitos. I do love the Hanukkah celebration and making
latkes. I like changing tradition a bit and throwing in some sweet
potatoes and green chile. I do get into the Christmas season with
my girlfriend. I hang lights, put up a tree, get a mistletoe ... belt.
It's the gift that keeps on giving. I pride myself on being a good
stocking stuffer. All of this sounded much less dirty in my head,
by the way.
Whatfaithisyourgirlfriend?
When I told my mother I was dating a Catholic Puerto Rican she
said, "Have you learned the Rosary?" I said, "No, but I know the
Serenity Prayer by heart:' You can imagine how much guilt exists
in our household. As I get older, I realize it's the same guilt with a
different layaway plan-either you pay now or you pay later. We
spent our first holiday season together last year and Hanukkah
happened to overlap with Christmas. She was absolutely perfect:
She put up a little Christmas tree and then got eight tiny Hanukkah
boxes in the shape of Chinese takeout boxes, and she hid gifts
around her place for me to find. We lit the Menorah together
and I tried to teach her the Baruch atah Adonai, which usually
ended on her part when "ha'olam" turned into haloumi. I spent last
Christmas with her family which was wonderful. They love their
pork, so that creates entirely different issues. I'm not kosher, so I
get to enjoy it. I like to say I'mJew~ish.
DoJewsreallygoto a casinoor Chineserestaurantat Christmas?
Besides the fact that Chinese restaurants are some of the only
places open on Christmas, they also benefit from the fact that most
Jews just can't say no to a buffet. I've always been confused about
Jewish people going to a casino on Christmas. We hate losing
money! Christmas morning is always very peaceful for me. I enjoy
having sex in front of the fire, singing"O Come All Ye Faithful:' I'm
Jewish, honey, I don't get a"Silent Night:' I love Christmas morning.
The streets are quiet, and depending on where I celebrate it, there
could be snow on the ground. Since I've been in L.A. for the last
three years, I haven't exactly had a white Christmas. Snow means
something totally different in Beverly Hills.
Howdoyoufeelaboutthe ubiquitous
holidayalbums?
The fact that they start playing Christmas music the day after
Thanksgiving makes me want to shove dull objects in my ears
repeatedly, but there are some holiday songs I actually enjoy, like a
good caroling of"Winter Wonderland:' One of my favorite songs
is Melissa Etheridge's cover of John Lennon's "Happy Xmas (War
Is Over):' There's just something about it. (I knew I could get
Melissa into one of my answers! My work here is done.)
Whatwouldbe yourideaof a perfectholiday?
My perfect holiday would be about food, wine, friends, family and
being grateful. We would have a table filled with sushi, fresh fruit,
the food from my New Mexico Christmas, crispy pork belly for
my love and her family, a good Greek platter for my mom (latkes are
delicious, but she appreciates a good dolma). I wouldn't completely
get rid of gift giving, it feels nice to give and receive-that sounded
dirtier in my head-but I would have a global name drawing. Each
person picks one person from somewhere in the world and sends
them a gift, postage already paid for. But I wonder if it's possible to
find a gift that brings universal joy. It's clearly not the first season
of Honey Boo Boo. ( danagoldberg.com) ■
SCENE
Island Time
The Sweeties make a splash on Cozumel.
By Cheryl Mazak
The Cozumel Palace Resort on Mexico's most
beautiful island rolled out the red carpet for Sweet,
the eco~friendly lesbian travel brand, Sept.1-8, 2012.
The week was full of fun, friendship and of course,
community service.
The Sweeties deaned up beaches, rescued baby sea
turtles, raised thousands of dollars for cats and dogs
at the Humane Society, adopted 26 dogs and cats, fed
seven hungry local families, and donated over 30,000
items to local disabled children and abused women.
Suzanne Westenhoefer, Fortune Feimster, Jennie
McNulty, Shann Carr and Jackie Monahan tickled
guests' funny bones while actors Cathy DeBuono, Jill
Bennett and Traci Dinwiddie hosted films and other
26
I curve
events. Out TV star Meredith Baxter was among the
350 guests in attendance, which also included animal
activist Natalie Garcia and writer Kristin Flickinger.
(discoversweet.com)■
POLITICS
The Gift of Giving
This year, skip the mall and change a life. By Victoria A. Brownworth
'Tis the season to be giving. It shouldn't
be the only season, but, according to the
Chronicle of Philanthropy, nearly threequarters of charitable donations come in
between Thanksgiving and New Year's. In
August 2012, the Chroniclereported on
how America gives. The study is based on
data from the IRS and provides an interesting and somewhat surprising picture of who
gives and how much.
The people who give the most live in
the red states. For example, in Utah and
Mississippi, the states that ranked highest for giving, the average household gave
more than 7 percent of its annual income
to charity. Yet Mississippi, with a median
income of only $36,919, is actually the
poorest state in the nation, a state where
one in five people lives below the poverty
level. Meanwhile, the average household
in liberal Massachusetts ( and three other
states in the Northeast) gave less than 3
percent, even though Massachusetts has
the sixth-highest median income in the
nation, almost $63,000.
The study found that seven of the eight
states with the highest rates of giving were
in the South and Southwest and all went
for Sen. John McCain in 2008. The seven
states with the lowest rates of giving were
in the Northeast and New England and
went for President Obama in 2008.
In addition, while the wealthy do give
a lot of money to charity, as a percentage
of their income, their contributions are far
less than those of either middle-class or
poor people. One of the most surprising
statistics from the report was how people
with incomes of $75,000 or less gave nearly
twice as much of their overall income as
did people with incomes of more than
$100,000-a
difference of 7.6 percent of
discretionary income versus 4.2 percent.
One of the most shocking statistics from
the report was that people living in wealthy
neighborhoods, where more than 40 percent
of the population has an income of more
2s
I curve
than $200,000, gave the least-less than 3
percent-and some gave nothing.
All of which should make us stop and
think about what giving means to us,
individually and collectively. Where are we
putting our charitable dollars? Although
lesbians and women overall have less
discretionary income than men, if we can
go have that latte at Starbucks, or pay the
ridiculous cover at our local club on the
weekends, we can definitely put some of
that money aside to help make another
woman's life more livable.
Many of us have more than we need.
For example, a study in August from
the Natural Resources Defense Council
(NRDC) reveals that Americans throw
away 20 pounds of food per person per
month, a total of 40 percent of the food
in the nation. Conversely, one in seven
Americans is currently on food stamps and
one in six Americans is "food insecure" that is, unsure where their next meal will
come from. The majority of the food-insecure
Americans are women and children.
Women and girls are also the poorest
people in the world and struggle the most
for everything they have. The oppression
of women and girls is pandemic, reaching
even our own developed nation. The UN sanctioned Gender Inequality Index lists
nine extreme examples of gender bias
that keep women and girls subjugated
in more than half the countries in the
world, and to a degree that makes their
lives almost unbearable.
For me, the question for the holidays is
this: How can we direct our charitable giving to combat these disturbing statistics and
what can we first-world women, with the
freedom to live unrestricted lives, sacrificeeven if it's just that latte or club cover-to
help another woman whose life is restricted
by her gender and whose poverty comes
with being female in the developing world?
One place we might want to start is with
cutting down on our own conspicuous
consumption and redirecting our discretionary income toward creating change.
Look around your house or apartment and
ask yourself if you really need more stuff, or
if your partner, girlfriend or friends really
need more stuff from you at the holidays.
Could we all use a more meaningful
gift at the holidays? What could be more
meaningful than giving the gift of making
another girl's or woman's life better? There
are many ways we can do this. If we are
really set on giving stuff, we can buy fair
trade items made by women. Financial
independence is denied women in over 80
countries worldwide. Being able to achieve
a measure of financial independence
helps not just the individual woman,
but the families and communities in
which that woman is living. When women
achieve financial independence, they are
more able to provide for their children,
according to the UN Commission on the
Status of Women.
Many fair trade sites online focus on
work done by women. The Hunger Site,
Hope for Women, Made by Survivors and
Global Mamas are all sites offering products made by women in fair trade settings.
Heifer International is a charity through
which you can give animals to women in
developing nations. Women who are given
chickens or ducks, for example, can use
the eggs for their families and also sell
them. Goats and other small herd animals
can be used for milk or for wool. Heifer
International is a well-respected charity
that has focused on women for years and
their website shows which animals can be
given and how much it will cost the giver.
If the concept of giving animals upsets
your vegan sensibilities, there are many
other options. One of the most effective is
the micro loan. Micro loans have changed
the lives of women in the developing
world. In 2006, Muhammad Yunus won
the Nobel Peace Prize for establishing the
Grameen Bank and developing the concept
of the micro loan. In giving the Peace Prize,
the Nobel committee commended Yunus
and Grameen for creating an atmosphere
of economic and social development. These
small loans allow women to borrow money
at a very low rate of return and start
businesses from their homes in developing
countries.
One of the best-known Americanbased micro loan charities is Kiva, which
was established in San Francisco in 2005,
but many other micro loan charities are now
operating, so you can choose the one that
inspires you most. With Kiva, however,
loans can be as small as $25, and you can see
who gets the money and for what project.
Of course, charity begins at home, so if
you don't want to go outside the U.S. with
your charitable gift, check out your own
community and what its needs are. For
nearly two decades, I have focused my own
charitable giving on girls, women, and cats.
I have sponsored girls through ChildFund
International.
This charity subsidizes
education and other necessities for girls
and boys under the age of 18 worldwideincluding in the U.S. I also donate to several
American Indian groups that provide food,
heat and educational services for children in
the Southwest.
I started two of my own charities. With
three other lesbians, I cofounded a nonprofit
cat shelter more than a decade ago-the
Foundation for Feline Urban Rescue ( FFUR,
ffur.org)-which
rescues abandoned and
stray cats and kittens, rehabilitates them
and places them in forever homes. To
date, we have placed nearly 700 cats and
kittens and maintain a feral cat colony
as well. In addition to FFUR, last year I
established KITH (Kids in the 'Hood), a
reading, writing and mentoring group for
inner-city girls. This year, for the holidays
we will be giving books to three grades of
children in several underserved schools in
my city.
There are so many options for giving at
the holidays. Choose a charity and make a
donation in your name or in the names of
those on your gift-giving list. Or you can
do what I did and start your own charitable organization to fill needs you think are
not being met in your community. Where I
live, the stray cat situation was terrible- I
knew I had to do something.
If we can go have that
latte at Starbucks... we
can definitelyput some of
that moneyaside to help
make anotherwoman's
lifemore livable.
And when I realized that neither
of the two elementary schools in my
neighborhood had a library, I knew I had
to do something. As a writer and a reader,
I couldn't imagine a childhood without
books. I wanted to help provide that for
kids who had no access to them.
One of the best things about giving is
that all of us can do it. Instead of throwing
out that extra 20 pounds of food a month,
stop overstocking the refrigerator and
start making contributions to a local food
pantry, for those people who suffer from
hunger in this very wealthy nation.
If you don't have discretionary income
to spare in these lean times, volunteer to
mentor a girl through Girls Inc. or another
local or national program.
So perhaps this year, instead of going to
the mall for the people you love, maybe
you could give a gift to a woman or a
girl that will change her life, and wrap
that story up in a nice package and give
it as a present. Could there be a better
way to celebrate Hanukkah, Solstice or
Christmas? Imagine the joy on the faces
of the women and girls you'll help. That
gift truly is priceless and will resonate far
beyond the holidays. ■
December 2012
I 29
A MATTEROF
Opening the closet on
lesbians in the ministry.
a,g)~
J<t.af~
or those of us who were raised in a mainstream religion and
have maintained that spiritual connection, none of the queer-friendly
substitutes (DignityUSA for Catholics, lntegrityUSA for Episcopalians),
no matter how welcoming they are, can replace our fundamental
need to be embraced by our own church. Sitting at Sunday services,
in the familiar surroundings of our faith, is what we want. We also
want to be able to worship as out queers and not feel excluded from
or ostracized by the congregation that we are a spiritual part of.
Just as lesbians and gay men have served covertly in the
military for generations, so too have they served in many
religious denominations-they
just have not served openly.
That, however, has begun to change. As openly queer clergy
are ordained in ministries, and become spiritual leaders in
our own parishes and churches, that sense of exclusion so
many of us have felt will begin to dissipate.
30
I curve
On Sunday, April 15, 2012, Katie
Ricks was ordained at the Church of
Reconciliation in Chapel Hill, N.C. Her
ordination was historic. She is the first
out lesbian to be ordained for ministry
in the Presbyterian Church USA,
one of the country's largest Christian
denominations, after a change in its
constitution.
In 1997, following passage of the Defense of Marriage
Act by Congress, the PC(USA) amended its governing
theological charter to state that marriage was between a man
and a woman and that unmarried persons had to remain
celibate. That ruling effectively barred all LGBT persons
from ordination. But when the Church revised its ruling on
marriage in 2011, removing the explicit DO MA requirement,
Ricks fit the criteria for ordination. (In 2001, a year before she
completed her seminary training, she had a covenant union,
which is a covenant relationship between her partner, Paula
Gibbs, herself and God. She and Gibbs also have a 5~year~old
daughter, Jordan.) Ricks had been serving in a Presbyterian
church since her graduation from the seminary a decade
ago. But her role as an associate in ministry at the Church
of Reconciliation in Chapel Hill, where she was active in
children's and youth ministries, was not the same as being
an ordained minister of the church. Only ordained ministers
of the PC(USA) can officiate at weddings or perform the
sacraments of communion and baptism.
The amendment of the PC(USA) constitution, which
allowed Katie Ricks to be ordained, is one of a handful of
important changes that speak directly to the inclusion and
ordination of LGBT clergy in mainstream U.S. religions.
These changes, however, have caused considerable internal
upheaval, and, in the case of the Anglican/Episcopal Church,
an outright schism. The Judeo~Christian proscription against
homosexuality is longstanding; those who condone it cite a
few lines in Leviticus. Others, however, note that Jesus said
nothing about homosexuality.
When the PC(USA) allowed Ricks to be ordained,
some member churches insisted that they would secede
in protest, and some have. And when the American
Episcopal Church, part of the Anglican Communion,
allowed the ordination of the openly gay priest Gene
Robinson as Bishop of New Hampshire in 2003, it
caused a worldwide split in the church. Secessions did
occur, and Pope Benedict XVI welcomed disenchanted
Episcopalians
and
Anglicans-including
married
Anglican and Episcopal priests ( although not women
priests, it should be noted)-into
the Catholic Church.
There are 80 million members of the Anglican Communion,
making it one of the largest Christian religions. But only 2
million are in the U.S. The conservative phalanx in Africa,
where more than half of all Anglicans live, wields more
power. Which is why when out lesbian Mary Douglas
Glasspool was elected a bishop in the Episcopal Diocese of
Los Angeles in 2009, Rowan Williams, the archbishop of
Canterbury himsel£ leader of the Anglican Communion,
sent out a strongly worded letter about the dire nature of
the Glasspool election.
"The election of Mary Glasspool by the Diocese of
Los Angeles as suffragan bishop~elect raises very serious
questions not just for the Episcopal Church and its place
in the Anglican Communion, but for the Communion as a
whole;' wrote the archbishop.
But after several rounds of voting in the 115th Convention
of the Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles, Glasspool (whose
father was an Episcopal priest and who had herself been
ordained a priest in 1982 in Philadelphia) became the
first open lesbian to be elected a bishop in the Anglican
Communion on December 4, 2009. She was consecrated in
a mass on May 15, 2010.
Glasspool was only the 17th woman and first out lesbian
to become a bishop in the entire Anglican Communion.
Sometimes lesbians are in ministry but are not out to
their congregation. That was the case in 2003 when Rev.
Beth Stroud, an associate pastor for six years at the First
United Methodist Church of Germantown in Philadelphia,
revealed in a sermon to her congregation that she was in
a covenanted (marriage~like) relationship with another
woman. The congregation was largely accepting of Stroud
after her announcement, but her bishop reported her to
the governing body of the church, because homosexuality
is considered a sin. In December 2004 she was defrocked,
then reinstated. But in November 2005, after a trial by the
governing body, she was once again defrocked. Stroud's case
made national headlines and she was the subject of a PBS
documentary. She continues to serve as a lay minister to
the same congregation, stating that she would prefer to "be
honest and a lay minister, than ordained and a liar;' but she
did try to appeal the church's ruling.
The Judea-Christian proscription against
homosexuality is longstanding;
those who condone it cite a few lines
in Leviticu~. ~rs,
ho~ever,:2~~~-;~~~,,,Yb,,,
~ ~~~~,,~The path to acceptance has been rocky for most queers who
have tried to combine an out sexual identity with ordained
ministry, but some have succeeded. There is no more visible
lesbian in ministry than the Rev. Irene Monroe, an ordained
Presbyterian minister and the former pastor of an African
American Presbyterian church. Monroe was given the 2012
Spirit of Justice Award by the Gay & Lesbian Advocates &
Defenders (GLAD) in October.
Perhaps the strongest theological voice in the U.S. for
queer acceptance within mainstream religion, Monroe is a
frequent contributor to the Religion page of the Huffington
Post and an advisor to the HRC in its Religion & Faith
program. Monroe focuses her attention on marginalization
by race, gender and sexual orientation, promoting a "theology
of liberation for all of us:' Monroe has written about how
theology must address marginalization the way it did during
the abolitionist and civil rights movements. "Liberation
theology can only have integrity if it is done in tandem with
a struggling community;' Monroe insists.
But while the GLTF community can celebrate the
ordination of Ricks and Glasspool, Stroud was defrocked
and Monroe no longer has her own congregation, even
though she is a frequent lecturer to other congregations and
a doctoral fellow at Harvard Divinity School.
Regardless of how much lesbians yearn for acceptance
within our own religion, until mainstream theology con~
nects with us as members of the religious community, all
we may be able to do is yearn. Nevertheless, with voices like
Monroe's and activists like Ricks, Glasspool and Stroud,
who have fought to be in ministry within their churches,
the seeds of inclusion have been planted-and Jesus did say
that faith was like a mustard seed. ■
December 2012
I 31
PROGRESS
at the Pulpit
"Here, the last thing I wanted to tell anyone is that I'm a lesbian, but
in Berkeley, the last thing I wanted to tell them is that I'm a Baptist;'
says Rev. Angela Yarber about the contrast between the West Coast,
where she got her education, and Winston-Salem, N.C., where she
preaches at Wake Forest Baptist Church-the
only Baptist church
in America with not one but two lesbian pastors.
In a highly charged social and political environment where many
people, gay and straight, Christian and non-Christian, consider
gay Christians a contradiction in terms, WFBC seems like a world
apart, particularly in North Carolina. But for Yarber, her colleagues
and her church, there are no two worlds to be caught between;
there's just one inclusive world where people can't be easily categorized, and where anyone and everyone can have faith.
Growing up in Atlanta, Yarber never set out to be a minister.
Her calling was supposed to be the stage. "I was really involved in
the performing arts and had actually been accepted to Juilliard;' she
says. Then, at a church youth group event, something changed. "I
fell in love with the idea of Jesus and
love and equality;' she says.
Yarber didn't consider herself a
fundamentalist at heart: "That church
was not affirming at all, not even of
women, let alone lesbians:' But in
the New Testament she discovered a
By Adam L.
message of social justice and equality
Brinklow
that encompassed all her own beliefs.
"Church was everywhere-and
my
experience was always that those
people were hypocrites;' she says."But for the first time I experienced
Jesus and realized that people who wanted to live like Jesus stood
for peace, equality and compassion:'
Yarber kiboshed Juilliard and instead majored in religion. Then she
went on to get a doctorate in art and religion in 2010. She reasoned,
wasn't preaching much like performing, wasn't a pulpit a lot like a
stage and couldn't the church and art both teach people about equality and compassion? Attracted to WFBC after graduation because of
its reputation for inclusiveness and the high profile of its pastor, out
lesbian Susan Parker, Yarber took up the second pastor's position in
2011, forsaking Left Coast Berkeley in favor of Winston-Salem.
Parker, a PFLAG Kaleidoscope Award honoree, came to WFBC
in the '90s and became its pastor in 2004. Growing up in Maiden,
Two Southern
Baptist lesbian
pastors refuse
to pray away
the gay.
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0
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0
0:
en
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<l'.
N.C., during the '60s and '70s, where, as a typical Baptist, she
attended church "four or five times a week and twice on Sunday;'
Parker knew two things for certain: She loved the church, but
something was coming between it and her. "I knew early on that
something was different, and I wasn't quite sure what to call it;'
she says.
Then one day a young firebrand pastor gave a sermon about the
evils of homosexuality. To hear him tell it, practically everything
wrong with America was on the heads of godless gays. Parker's
heart sank. "He made it very clear that (being gay] was a problem;'
she says. "I was realizing who I was and that I was not this [godless]
person he was describing:'
To Parker, the church had been a second family, but now her
dreams of growing up to be a minister were dashed in two different
ways, because she was a woman and because she was gay. For a time,
she abandoned her ambitions."! gave up on the idea of going into the
ministry until I did some soul~searching in the mid~'90s, when my
dad was dying, and I decided that life is too short. I just happened
to find WFBC:' she says. In 1998, she made national headlines by
performing a commitment ceremony for a lesbian couple there. The
narrow~mindedness that scared Parker away from the church in
her youth was still alive and well in some quarters, but she was not
about to be bullied again.
With Yarber on board, WFBC made more headlines by having
two openly lesbian pastors at the head of a unique, come~as~you~are
Southern Baptist congregation. Both Parker and Yarber contend
that the social climate in North Carolina is not quite as backward
or bigoted as newcomers might assume, but the pastors admit that
many people in the community are willing to tell them exactly what
they think of them. Yarber says she receives hate mail daily, some of
it frightening. "Well, it's not nice to get an email saying you should
be on the other end of a shooting range;' Yarber admits.
But those hateful voices motivate rather than intimidate her. "On
days when I'm sick of it all and get that threatening letter, I look
into that congregation and see people who have been hurt by the
church;' she says. She can't bring herself to leave. "This is the only
family they have;' Yarber says of some gay church members who
have been disowned by their socially conservative relatives. "This is
the only time in their life that they've been told they're loved:'
Of course, some of the WFBC faithful do have high praise for
the church. "I thank God every day for that church;' says lesbian
mom Judy Willard. "To go to a Baptist church and be accepted, it
was the most unreal feeling I had ever had:'
"The preachers at Wake Forest just lift you up so much it's
unreal;' adds Tina, Judy's wife. "Just a simple, lesbian~born couple;'
they have raised four children together and were legally married
in Washington, D.C. They tried attending gay churches but worried
that their kids might feel left out in such an environment. "We
have four children, and not one of them is gay or lesbian;' says
Willard, who wanted a church whose message applied equally to
all her family members. WFBC is not a gay church, simply an
inclusive one. It fit their family makeup.
"Having a female, feminist preacher made a huge difference;'
says Sarah Brown, a teacher who attends WFBC. Brown, a North
Carolina native, became deeply attached to her church and her faith
after surviving cancer at age 13, but six years later she was stung
when her pastor outed her and condemned her in front of the entire
congregation. "Faith has so much to do with your family and your
friends. I was, like, I can't be gay, please make me straight:'
Brown tried to find a place at other churches, but nothing fit
until WFBC. "It's home;' she says. "I went to many churches in
the past that weren't affirming ... ! always felt like I was an outsider
looking in. Angela and Susan are like family to me. They're like
my sisters, almost:'
The Dan Cathys of the world are quick to cite scripture when
condemning gays, so how do the women of WFBC reconcile their
faith with their sexuality in an environment where some are unwill~
ing to accept that such a thing is possible? "It's hard to undo what
people have been taught and to even understand how to read the
Bible;' says Parker. "There's a lot of contradiction in scripture, there's
a lot of stories that really don't have any connection to today:'
''A lot of time, people quote Leviticus;' Yarber adds. "People
rip that out of context. Leviticus was a priestly code. If you're a
ragtag group of Israelites, you're not
going to have sex that won't result in
""There's
children, which is why there are also
laws against touching your wife when
a lot of
she's menstruating:' Laws that even
contratliction
the most fundamentalist of modern
in scripture,
Christians rarely observe, Yarber
there's a lot
notes. "Stoning your wife or selling
or stories
your daughter or dismembering your
that really
concubine, those [rules] don't apply
anymore:'
don't have any
What sort of standard are some
connection
Baptists applying to the Bible, if it
to totlay."
makes being gay an unpardonable sin
but allows them to overlook edicts
about shellfish and menstruation? "I think they believe that they
understand scripture the way everybody does;' Parker says. "It's
normative for them, so they assume it's normative for everyone:'
Hope Kitchens, a Georgia~born lesbian teacher who attends
WFBC, will give you a piece of her mind if you try to quote scripture
against her. "People don't want to see their own faults;' she says.
"They fix it in their mind's eye:' It's easy for self~serving people to
disregard scriptural admonitions that apply to them, while focusing
on those that apply to others, particularly gays, she says.
"I don't want to call anybody ignorant, but sometimes I think if
people were just educated they'd understand better;' saysJudy Willard.
Yarber takes a bigger picture view on the suject. "I would say that
what the Bible says about homosexuality is unclear. In no way does
scripture say that homosexuality is a sin;' if it's read in the proper
context, she says. "That's not me ignoring the text, that's me paying
attention to the text:'
Though other institutions promote equality, teach compassion
and provide a sense of community, there's no substitute for the
church in these women's lives."Growing up in a small town, as I did,
a part of us is always in the closet, you're never completely out of the
closet. Sunday is the only day we can be ourselves;' says Brown.
"There's something about that notion of community that I
haven't found anywhere else;' says Yarber."Maybe others have found
it [elsewhere], but to me there's something irreplaceable about say~
ing to others, Tm an ordained Baptist minister:,, No matter what
anyone says back. ■
December 2012
I 33
you can count on from Jacki Gemelos-determination,
charisma, confidence, a winning smile and honesty. But
especially determination. Even though a slew of injuries
to her ACL have threatened to derail her basketball
career, the 2006 National High School Player of the
Year is working hard to get back to the hardwood and
make her WNBA debut with the Minnesota Lynx
next season.
''I've been dealing with these knee injuries since I've
been in sports;' Gemelos explains. "But I have such a
passion for basketball that I can't let it go. I love it so
much that I keep pushing myself to heal and keep at it.
I'm still young, I'm only 23, so I can recover better than if
I was in my 30s:'
Gemelos picked up a basketball at 7 years old and
began a love affair with the game that grew into a longterm
relationship. "My dad played college basketball at Weber
State and professional basketball in Greece. He was a
huge basketball fanatic, so he started me off at an early
age. But it wasn't until the seventh grade that my game
started to develop and I realized I was good at this:'
"Good" is an understatement. By the time Gemelos
was a senior at St. Mary's of Stockton, Calif., she was
averaging 39 points a game and was the number one high
school recruit in the country. Her ball~handling skills
were uncanny and she could score at will from anywhere
on the court. Women's college basketball analysts were
comparing Gemelos to Diana Taurasi, and everyone
expected her to follow in Taurasi's footsteps and play for
Geno Auriemma at the University of Connecticut. But
not everything went as planned.
''As a sophomore, I was the youngest recruit to ever
commit to UConn;' said Gemelos."So I was really young
to be making a decision like that. It's every girl's dream
to play for Geno and to be like Diana Taurasi. But when
I finally graduated from high school and it was time to
leave, the reality set in that I was going across the country,
where I didn't know anyone. I got cold feet and wanted to
stay close to home:'
Gemelos chose to play for the University of Southern
California instead. The decision shocked a lot of people
in the basketball community, but she felt it was the right
choice. "Everything happens for a reason. I couldn't be
happier [with the decision I made]:'
Gemelos instantly fell in love with the program at
USC, not only because the school was near her family,
but because it allowed her to be true to hersel£ "My
sexuality was a nonfactor during that time of my life. I
grew up in California, so I knew that at USC I would
be able to develop into the person I wanted to be. It
also helps when there are people in the program and on
staff who are like you, and who won't judge you for who
you are. As I grew up and matured, [my sexuality] just
became a part of who I was:'
On the basketball court, Gemelos endured one
debilitating knee injury after another. It wasn't until
February 2010 that she was finally able to play the first
game of her college career. She entered the 2010-11
season completely healthy and was able to play the entire
year. Unfortunately, she reinjured her knee halfway
through last season-her final year at USC. But despite
all the injuries, Gemelos' talent and relentless spirit were
enough to make her the Minnesota Lynx third~round
choice in the 2012 WNBA Draft.
"There was talk about me getting drafted;' she said,
"but it was a long shot. When I found out about it, it was
the greatest feeling I've ever experienced in my life. It was
a dream come true:' Though Gemelos is still currently
rehabbing her knee, she plans to play basketball overseas
this winter and be back in spring 2013 to play in the
WNBA. Her goal is to make a positive impact, both as a
player and as an individual.
"I think the league is changing, with all the younger
players and rookies who are coming in. Things are more
open. Some people always say to protect your image,
but when it comes to sexuality there's no image to
protect. You are who you are. I am at a very comfortable
point in my life now, where second~guessing it isn't even
a question:' ■
December 2012
I 35
lSUCCESS
~
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~
00
0
~
Jen Foster's singular path
I curve
a better fit than any other career,
and being out was a better fit
than keeping in the closet, no
matter what the risks.
Foster has always refused to
be corralled into any particular
musical genre as well; she's rock
'n' roll, she's country, she's folk,
she's guitar and lyrics any which
way she pleases. She sometimes
refers to this refusal to be cat,
egorized, and to her dual big
city/ small,town background as
a "double life;' and reflects that
she's closed certain doors by
maintaining her own identity.
'Tm a rock star in Atlanta and
a nobody in New York City;' she
says. "But early on I decided it's simply too hard to try to
control what people think and to also live a happy life:' So
she just does things her own way.
For example, while it's now common for independent
artists to start their own label, Foster started Fosterchild
Records nearly 10 years ago, at a time when the Internet
music wave was just a ripple and people still shopped at
Tower Records. She might have enjoyed more material
success by chasing a
deal with a big label,
but the tradeoffs didn't
seem worth it. "Nothing
that presented itself ever
felt right to me;' she says.
"I heard a lot of horror
stories about artists who
had deals and it turned
into a nightmare as they
lost creative control:'
Though Foster is low,
key and unassuming, it's
hard not to interpret
some of her work as
Even rock stars can swoon in the presence of rock stars.
Jen Foster learned this backstage at a U2 concert when
she met Bono, one of her biggest musical influences, and
she couldn't resist getting up close and personal with
the Irish rock icon. "I got a little out of control," Foster
says, "and, well, I just grabbed him and kissed him." A
Texan, a lesbian (Bono incident notwithstanding) and a
recording artist of no small stature herself, having just
toured with Antigone Rising and recorded a new EP
with multi-platinum producer and songwriter Jeffrey
Steele, Foster is pretty savvy about the music industry.
But that wasn't enough to stifle her spontaneous
outburst of fangirl frenzy. "He was really cool about
it," Foster adds. "I've been thinking of writing a song
about it. 'I Kissed a Rock Star.'"
oster learned all about the entrancing
power of performance at an early age
when sirenlike, she and her guitar
attracted a circle of teenage admir,
ers. "What kid doesn't dream about
being a rock start she asks."I started
out playing music at my Catholic
all,girls high school. The girls would
gather around and sing with me. It
was the way I felt special. And that's also the time I started
to realize I was gay:' If any future fan ever gets so carried
away with admiration for Foster that she can't resist
planting one on the independent,minded singer,songwriter,
it'll happen because Foster has a gift for doing things
her own way.
After all, it takes a certain independent streak to grow
up a lesbian in suburban Texas. To leave Texas for a music
career in Los Angeles and a string of coffee house gigs,
then to once again push the reset button for Nashville,
far from the hub of the pop scene and most major industry
contacts, speaks of a risk,taking streak as well, particu,
larly since, as Foster admits, "It's easier to be out in LA:'
But Nashville was a better fit for Foster, just as music was
36
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She's rock 'n' roll,
she's country, she's folk,
she's guitar and lyrics ~
~
t~-
Even Foster's openness as a lesbian has
sometimes caused friction in her career~
though not in the way you might think.
t:::r'
"Being gay was never a marketing tool for
~
me;' she says, "but there were times when
those around me warned me that I shouldn't
be so open, that I was 'pigeon-holing' myself
00
as an artist:' Pigeon-holed on the one hand,
t:::r'
(D
discriminated against on the other, it seems
Foster was in a no-win situation because of
~
,-....
her orientation. Rather than let it become
(D
an albatross, she just did what came naturally.
~
00
"I feel it's my responsibility to be as honest
(D
as I can in my life and in my work. So it
00
was never a question for me as to whether I
would be open about who I am:'
Foster's new EP You Stayed, is a tribute
to her longtime fans. She wrote the title track with Jeffrey
Steele. Despite, or perhaps because 0£ her stubborn insistence on being hersel£ Foster is rubbing shoulders with
the big time.
From the early days of singing to those Catholic
schoolgirls in Texas, to a future where she might enjoy
the kind of star-studded acclaim lavished on U2-can
her path travel through both L.A. and Nashville, through
rock and country, through the thoughtful and the playful,
in short, through all things Jen Foster, past and present? If
it can, she knows the way. (jenfoster.com) ■
~
a mission statement. After all, her third album is called
Underdogs and her fan-favorite 2010 single is called "This
Is Me" and contains such brazen lyrics as "Talk to God/
[... ] 'Cause I am all his fault:' Even something as comparatively lightweight as her 2009 single "I Didn't Just Kiss
Her;' a musical response to Katy Perry's lesbosploitation
anthem"! Kissed a Girl" ("We went all the way and I liked
it / What's the point in trying to hide it? / You never know
'til you've tried it;' Foster's lyrics run) showcases Foster's
habit of going her own way, even though some longtime
fans pushed back against what they perceived as a turn to
the dark side for her.
"It was just supposed to be this funny little song parody;'
she says. "There were some people who got really up in
arms that I was changing direction and getting negative
with my writing, but it was just about showing another
side of myself. I was in a different kind of mood that day:'
38
I curve
.
fw
uz
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0 Hers and Hers Photobooth Props •
Andnowfor something
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thesepropsmakeeveryphotobooth
an opportunity
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e Stress
Cupcake • Whenyou'refeelingthe
~ Pussy Riot eBook • OnFebruary
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0 Silver Cassette Tape Ring • Unique
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~ Art Deco ID Case• Classy,
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Q?Butch Clothing Co. Boxer Briefs • No
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8 Kiss Me DVD • Wanta guaranteed
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~ Roots Rose Radish Lip Balm • This
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Q Recycled Sheet Metal Angels • Forget
~ Beer-Mo Bottle Moustache • These
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Theseare
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originalworksof art createdby Noah'sArk in Moradabad, clip-onplasticmoustache
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e
~ Daily Decadence: the Art of Sensual
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EllOne
Good Deed: 865 Days of Trying to
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~ HRC Vision Wristband • Livethefight
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~ Custom Cat Stud Earrings • Isyourcatthe
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Q) H20 Instant Candle Kit • Createromantic
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drippingwaxwiththis non-toxicpack.($4,thinkgeek.com)
~ 96 Hours •
Setin theaftermathof 9/11,Georgia
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bevulnerable
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G
Remedy Teas Naughty & Nice Tin •
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40
I curve
One
God
Deed
teas
naughty
I
~
Lesbian Love Tumblers • Putyourcocktails,
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_setof
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C Prometheus:
e
Love Infinity Cuff • Showheryourlovewith
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of forevercarvedinto100year-oldcopper
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Ill Gift
Membership to NCLR • Become
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ourrights.
($35,nclr.org)
Special Edition Blu-ray •
Forfansof the uber-dreamy
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This
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($25,amazon.com)
EDMolo Wool Project Toys • Thesesweet
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G Curve Magazine • A subscription
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Hip Flask • Cheekyandinconspicuous, long.($40,curvemag.com)
thisretro-inspired
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sippingyourtipplelikea brazenlady.Givethissaucy
G Baileys Original Irish Cream • Thisis the
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whendroppingin onfriendsdu~ing
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holidays.
Enjoythisliqueurin a warmingcocktailor simply
~ Only Tank • FormermodelLoisEliselaunc_hed
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Pride-inspired
clothinglineonthedaythegaymarriage
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~ Marc Jacobs Ask Mom Tee• Thislimited
musicmavenLoriMichaels,
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editionsuper-soft
100percentorganiccottonlightweight,
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double-sided
teeis perfectfor gaybies,
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($35,shop.hrc.org)
~ High-heeled
Wine Caddy • Boldbottle
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Marriage Equality Pendant • Thisstainless
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steeldoubletag pendantfeaturesthe MarriageEquality
USAlogoononependantwiththeotherleft blankfor
~ Road Popper • Thisbike-mounted
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Choose
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bronzeandglossyantiquebronze.($40,shapeways.com) C Born This Way Tee • Showyoursupportfor
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tee.($25,shop.hrc.org)
e Saucy
e
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Original Beard Hat • Keepwarmduring
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~ Wakeup Call Tee • TheRealL Word'sRomi
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S, Lime Crime's Chinadoll Palette • Forthe
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($35,limecrimemakeup.com)
$ OLO Fragrance
Sample Kit • Sometimes
the bestgiftscomein smallpackages-inthiscase,a
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~ DJ Cat Scratching
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~ Smitten
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(!) Anti-Puppy Mills T-shirt • HelptheASPCA
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December 2012
I 43
~ Collar Necklace
• Thismightverywellbethe
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haven'tfoundanythingthatit doesn'tgowith.Forthat
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($54,vrdjewelery.etsy.com)
G) The Matthew Shepard Erase Hate
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0
Bluetooth Multi-Media Remote •
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Hand of Buddha Jewelry Stand •
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Hand-carved
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Green City Bottles • Thiseco-conscious,
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~ Click and Grow Planter
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~ Princess
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6.1Dishonored
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Babeland Eco-Sexy Kit • With$10of your
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ffUEtched
Copper Octopus
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($45,RowdyBaubles.etsy.com)
accessory.
~ Wingtip
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travel,sodon'tforgetto helpeveryone
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handbagis a throwback
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~
dyke
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ai
Skull Belt Buckle • Lookingfor something
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~ Leather Statement
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~ Le Bunny Bleu Flats
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astheyare.Available
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e
Three Rights Necklace • Thisnecklace
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~ The L Word Watch • Thishotorange
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takes c
grow u
come wh
reaJJya
~
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Beacon Universal Remote Control
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(ll New Balance Shoes • Nothingbeatsa classic,
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e
Heart Necklace • A gift thatgivesso much
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(?i)Top Butch Stainless
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G
Hourglass Footwear Painted Pumps •
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~
Heart Gloves • Doyouwearyourheartonyour
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0
LOTL Rescue • curve's sisterpublication,
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E) Teardrop Terrarium • Highlightyour
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($75,abjglassworks.etsy.com)
G
Hand-Crocheted Aviator Hat • This
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Ring True Push-Button Phone • If retro
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41Roccat Gaming Mouse • Gota gamergirlon
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~ Cubist Martini Set • There'snoreasonat
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Mucha Red Poppy Headband • Ladies
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keepingit coolandrefreshing
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pizzazzwill go gagafor this rubyvelvetheadpiece,
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e
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Utility Steampunk Belt Bag • Even
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~ Lush Ka-Pow
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Roku 2xs • Streamover300channels
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onlinesocialnetworks,photoalbumsandplaylists.Roku
2xsis a all-in-oneentertainment
center.($98,roku.com)
G
Lag Ukulele • Madefromsolidrosewood,
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quirkyuke,a sapphicmust-have
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Gear Clock • Looknofurther
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Q)
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this pairto hercloset.($81,modcloth.com)
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Magic Wand Remote • Channel
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December 2012
I49
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II
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ishnets and bruises, sweat, muscles,
eyeliner and lipstick: These are the
hallmarks of the hottest trend in worn,
en's sports. It was born in the U.S. and
is played in over 1,200 leagues in 36
countries worldwide; now South Africa
has joined the international sisterhood,
too. On July 28, the second,ever roller
derby bout was held in Johannesburg.
It was still a novelty on the African
continent.
This tough as old boots sport gives
women a platform to express themselves,
be loud and rough, embody their fierce
feminine attitude. And where femininity
is being redefined, lesbians are leading the way, showing
their straight sisters how to embrace their inner butch,
playing tough and physical. This can only be roller derby
and it has created something more than just a commu,
nity. Crossing borders and bringing women together, it
has created a true and binding sisterhood: Derby Girls.
A contact sport played on roller skates, roller derby was
invented in the 1930s and enjoyed a revival in the early
2000s in Texas, but it was the 2009 movie Whip It that
brought more widespread popularity. In fact, it was this
movie that gave South African lesbians Melinda Lotz
(Miss Chief) and Candice Van Niekerk (Ling Kong)
the idea of starting a league of their own.
The Johannesburg,based CMax Roller
Derby League was created by a small and
dedicated group of friends. The skaters
had to learn the hard way, picking up skills
and strategy through YouTube videos. After
a lot of work and perseverance, the league's
first two teams, the Raging Whoremones
and the Thundering Hellcats, held bouts in
March and July of this year. The second
bout brought a record number of new
recruits, introduced greater diversity and
spread the word about derby into other
locations. A new team will soon to be
forming in Soweto.
I first heard of the league through mutual
friends, and when I met Miss Chie£ she
suggested I get down and dirty and come
try it out. It was love at first roll. ■
December 2012
I 55
''S~uid ted~u a ~'lfl abtJutjust abtJut
S ev&t,CalYlb inttJ~ntad with, ,,
ev~tJ4
says America'smost importantfemalecomicEllennotwithstanding.LilyTomlinis a great
Americanstoryteller.One of the best And she
has five Emmys,two Tonys,a Grammyand
two Peabodyawards (onefor narratingand
executive-producing
the LGBTdocumentary,
The CelluloidCloset)to prove it. Thereare very
few of us who have not splitour sides laughing
over snarky,sexually-frustrated
Ernestinethe
telephoneoperator,or EdithAnn the nve-yearold philosopher,or marveledat Tomlin'sfinelyetched outsiders:Trudythe bag lady,Crystalthe
hang-glidingquadriplegicand Rickthe singles
bar cruiser.Then there are Tomlin'ssilverscreen
shenanigansin 9 to 5, Big Businessand All of
Me. Whatevermediumshe's in, Tomlinhas a
raregift, the gift of character,and to some extent
she can take creditfor the characterstylingsof
Whoopi Goldberg,Amy Poehler,KristenWiig
and our very own Kate McKinnon.
December 2012
I 57
But, more importantly, Lily Tomlin is someone from whom we expect wit and
adult life and continue to work-here
I am at 73 working on this series,
and I do concerts all the time, and
on the screen or on Broadway, in the multi-award-winning monologue The
TV shows.
Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe. We delight in receiving
Andyouhavepickedsomedamngood
the bracing slap of recognition, familiarity and truth in any given monologue
ones:WestWing,Desperate
Housewives,
or character portrait she might deliver. And to this extent, Tomlin holds a
Damages
...
higher rank than comic: She's right up there with Mark Twain (she was the
I appreciate that. The thing I love most
is Eastbound and Down on HBO, an
recipient of the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003),
off-the-wall, raunchy show, but I'm
with her idol Ruth Draper (who some say created the character monologue)
absolutely in love with the sensibility.
and perhaps even with Flannery O'Connor (with whom she shares Southern
It's across-the-board offensive, I loved
Baptist roots). What makes the happy coincidence of her fame even sweeter
doing that show. I'm still doing Lisa
is the fact that she is one of us: She has been with her partner, Jane Wagner,
Kudrow'smother on Web Therapy.Her
mother is more narcissistic and selfsince 1971; theirs is one of the great creative collaborations of all time.
involved than Lisa'scharacter is. Actors
Wagner has been shy of the limelight, and even though Tomlin mentions her
love to do that, we just go out there and
in most interviews, the media has deferred to propriety and Tomlin is given
play around and improv.Just go somethe glory for their indivisible work. In addition to comic creations, Tomlin has
where crazy.
parlayed her masterful performing instincts into character acting; in the films
Whatattracted
youto MalibuCountry?
of auteurs Robert Altman and David 0. Russell, and in some notable lV: Will
I love the idea of playing an older
woman who-my fantasy is that she
and Grace, West Wing, NCIS, Eastbound and Down and Damages. As a
comes from Nashville-I'm Southern,
performance junkie, I was thrilled to finally catch up with Tomlin the morning
so I know the culture pretty well. I
after the second 2012 presidential debate, while she was in rehearsals for
think the character of Lillie Mae comMalibu Country, her new lV show with Reba McEntire on ABC.
ing to Malibu, she has an opportunity,
she's like a bird let out of a cage, she's
Whatdidyouthinkofthepresidential
debate?
willing to try anything. She's more liberal-minded than Reba,
Oh,Jane and I are extremely sick about this.
who as a character is more conventional, she's got two teenYoutwoareverypoliticalandspeakoutonFacebook.
Howlong agers she has to raise. Lillie Mae is more of a free spirit and
didit takeyouto getintosocialmedia?
totally open to most anything. She's done a lot of stuff on the
We started doing Facebook and Twitter because we got
show already-she's tried pot, she's gone surfing, she's gone
hooked up with this media company, because they were doing
to a nude beach...
[producer] George Schlatter, Laugh-In, Carson, gathering Youseemto thinkmorelikeanactorthana comic.
their archives. They said they would digitize everything in I probably am more of an actor. Even though the stuff I did
our office. That was very attractive to us because I've always through all those years-creating comic characters and dodreamed of having no paper, no CDs, no DVDs. I dreamed ing comedy shows-were things that appealed to me that
of having one of those bare desks, the kind that Romney has other people weren't doing at the time. I had very eclectic
taste. I loved everybody, from Lucy to Ruth Draper. I loved
because he doesn't do a lick of work himsel£
Thecurrentpoliticalsituation
mustmakeyoumadbecause
you Eve Arden too. Imogene Coca. I loved really high farce,
grewupin Detroitasoneofthe99 percent.
physical comedy. I never thought of drama and comedy as
It doesn'tjust make me mad, it makes me a bit sick, and in a being separated. Part of it was that I created opportunity for
state of despair. And for a performer like me- I'll probably mysel£ I don't want to say it in some self-aggrandizing way,
but I didn't like what I was expected to do, so when I was
live to be 106, I feel that hearty and active and physical-it
takes a lot of money to live. I think about friends of mine, lucky enough to get on a show like Laugh-In,I was already
doing Ernestine. I was always character-focused. I thought
people in the business, who, as they age they don't really get
you could express an idea better through a culture type. It's
work anymore, particularly women. The studios and networks have just gutted the unions-as corporations have all nothing that you intellectually ferret out-it's where your
over the place. Everything has changed radically.Wages for sensibility leads you.
Ernestine-workingfor the phone company,demanding
the general public have been decimated. Just the greed, the
power of corporations. The playing field is very rocky. I'm payment,spyingon customers-predictedwhere we are
monopolies,
lackof privacy.
one of the fortunate people in that I've worked most of my today.Corporate
wisdom whenever she opens her mouth-whether
ss I curve
it is on the radio, on vinyl,
You cannot believe it! Now she works for the healthcare
insurance corporation, denying healthcare to everyone.
She's going to go where the power is. She's going to go
where she can be a bully. [Laughs] She's really ripe for any
kind of institutional narrowness.
Whendidyourealizeyouwerefunnyandthatyoucouldmake
a joboutofthat?
I don't think I ever really thought of it that way. I put on
shows when I was a little girl.
You've
beeninfluential
toa wholegeneration
offemalecomics,
fromTraceyUllmanto Kristen
Wiig.
Well, I couldn't say. I mean, I'm older than Tracey, but she
said to me, "When I was a little girl in England and you were
doing Laugh-In and I saw all these characters, I thought,
That's what I can do!" But she was probably already doing it.
But maybe it's a confirmation of that. I could imagine that
Kristen [Wiig] could be even more influenced by Tracey
than by me ... lt all just rolls out, one after the other.
As goodas theybothare,youhaveto takesomecreditas a
trailblazer.
I'm thinkingaboutyourcharacterTommyVelour.
He'sliketheveryfirstdragking.Wheredidhecomefrom?
[Laughs] Well, my show was going to Vegas, so you
try to people the landscape. That was my dilemma: I
didn't want to go to Vegas, I just couldn't bring myself
to go, politically. And so I sublimated it and did a special
about going there for the money. So that's how Tommy
was born: a combination of Sammy [Davis Jr.], Robert
Goulet and Wayne Newton.
Why don't I need gay
marriage? Because we've
been together for 41 years
and one of us wouldn't
get there on time.
ana
then)
$ ~nt even
IJMeu think
wlillt u
~~ut the, w~6e.
))
If youhadto liveouttherestofyourdays,whichisuntil106,as
oneofyourcharacters,
whichonewouldyouchoose?
Oh God. [Laughs] I couldn't be one of them. It would get
tiring-for me, even.
WhataboutSusietheSorority
Girl?
I haven't done her for so long! I don't know enough about
the life now.
It's bitchier.
Yeah, right, and that's what I liked about Susie: "By golly,
I'm square:' That's how Susie was, awful square and out of
it. 'Tm Susie Sorority from the Silent Majority:' The Silent
Majority was like the Tea Party [in the 1970s], and they
were rearing their reductive heads.
December 2012
I 59
''
$
W~J,
liiw~1'
~IJ~~JUI.
I thought you could
express an idea better
through a culture type.
It's nothing that you
intellectually I erret outit's where your sensibility
leads you."
Youseemto liveandbreathethesecharacters,
sowheredoes
yourpartnerJanecomeintoall ofthis,asa collaborator?
I'm forever being quoted, and it's really some great line that
Jane has written or said someplace and that I've repeated.
She writes for me all the time. The high verbal stuff, she
writes, believe me, and I always get credit for it. I used to
really be on fire to create these physical characters, and I
always wanted a definitive monologue for them, and I
would struggle. I mean, Ruth Draper said a monologue
wasn't worth doing until it was 8, 10 years old, to make
everything in it right, true, universal, sympathetic, funny,
tender. I discovered her recordings back in Detroit, when I
was [performing] in a coffeehouse. Then I had a standard.
Soyouhavea feelingfor the characters,
butthenJaneadds
thelanguage.
Really, like, The Search, that's totally Jane. We did everything
we could to protect her authorship, but we so haven't
achieved that, because if I'm out there and she's not-and
I'm so close to her sensibility-it just lives inside me, her
points of view.
Youtalkaboutherinyourinterviews,
andyou'reclearlytogether.
It's notlikeyou'vesaidyoudo it all onyourown.Doesmost
mediadecideto editherout?
Yeah, it blows my mind. There's a great line in The Search:
"No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to
keep up:' It's a timeless line, truer now than ever. Over a
period of years, [Nightline anchor] Ted Koppel quoted that
line, ''As Lily Tomlin said ... "Jane is not a person to put her~
self forward and truly doesn't like to be in the limelight.
Unfortunately, it's one of the hazards we live with.
You'vebeentogethersince1971.Haveyoueverdisagreed
on
something
creatively?
[Laughs] Oh my God, yes, of course.
Outside
of theusualworktensions,
didyoueverfeelthat,as a
couple,
therelationship
mightnotwork?
If you really love someone you certainly don't want to think
of it not working. You think of it as rolling through life.
You're going to have fights and disagreements, and I've come
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to know her so well that I'm protective of her, and I hope
I always thought that, truly, the gay community could
she is of me. I don't want her to be so unhappy that she'd come up with something better than marriage. But then, I
want to leave me. I want her to thrive. But yeah, it's always have friends who have kids, and that kind of conventional
tough. I don't think being together is easy. There's always validation means a lot to them, means a lot to the kids, and
a lot of stuff to go up against. I mean, we had a big failure
to the couple and to their families. Jane and I are not in any
with [the film] Moment by Moment, which was really tough
way religious. I mean, it probably would have been nice if
we'd done it just for the community. Symbolically. But we
on us, and more for her, because I was already celebrated.
never did.
Her capacity for work was not even known. John Travolta
had seen [the Broadway show] Appearing Nitely, and he
I havean ideaforyou.
had a three~picture deal with Robert Stigwood and unbe~ What:'
YougoasTommy
Velour.
Thenat leastyouwon'thavetoworry
knownst to us he goes to Stigwood and says, "I want to
aboutwhatto wear.
work with Lily and Jane:• So we became part of the deal for
his third picture. He was coming off SaturdayNight Fever [Laughs] 0 K. That's a good idea.
and he was a huge star. And it was a huge failure. I know
Andyou'llprobably
beontime.
But Jane's the one who's late. We even call her Maybe Jane.
some days Jane thought, I just cannot go out there and do
So, we won't hold her to it.
this. My heart just broke for her because I knew what a trial
OK,so maybeno weddingspread,butat leastyou'reon the
[directing] was.
issue!
In lightof yourcommitment
to yourenduringrelationship, coverof curve's Holiday
whatisyourviewongaymarriage?
Dowe needit?
That sounds lovely.
Well, some people do. I don't need it.
Whatareyourplansfortheholidays?
Whydon'tyouneedit?
We haven't decided yet. Sometimes we're just so glad to be
Why don't I:' Because we've been together for 41 years home and not to be traveling. We just lounge around the
house all day and night and watch movies. It's nice to not
and I just ... l mean, I make a joke about it, but it's not far
be on the go all the time. Like, this weekend I have to go to
from the truth: First of all, one of us wouldn't get there on
D.C.-Ellen is getting the Mark Twain Prize. I'm happy to
time. And then, I don't even want to have to think about
be a part of that, but-don't say this-I'd rather stay home
the wardrobe. [Laughs] I do a routine that says, "If all the
homosexuals are imitating heterosexuals, it could be a very with Jane. I'll probably be calling her and saying, "Help me
with this joke;' or whatever. (lilytomlin.com)■
slippery slope. What's next:' Monster truck rallies?"
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THERE'S
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INCREDIBLY
NOSTALGICabout the Outer Banks of
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North Carolina, even if you've never been there before.
The beach road is lined with houses sitting high on stilts
and clad in cedar,shake shingles. The weathered restau,
rants and bars look as though they'd sprouted from where
they stand. Although there are a few chain hotels to be
found, that's more the exception than the rule.
I've been to the Outer Banks a number of times. I've
even lived there for a few months, when I was a member
of The Lost Colony, an outdoor theater company that
tells the story of the settling of Roanoke Island. In the
summer, I'd always rent a house on the beach-something
old, though there are plenty of gorgeous new homes to be
found as well.
On a recent trip with my girlfriend and our daughter,
we decided to go the B&B route, staying in the historic
25,room First Colony Inn (firstcolonyinn.com). The property
almost fell to ruin in the late '80s but luckily was bought,
cut in pieces and moved three miles up the road, where it's
been restored and renewed. It's old,school, one of a kind.
The beach is just across a narrow road and over some
reed,filled dunes. The rooms are furnished in keeping with
the era when the hotel first opened, the 1930s. A pool and
wide grassy lawns sit behind the hotel, and wide porches
wrap around two of its three stories. It was ideal for us.
It can be hard to decide how to spend your time in the
Outer Banks, since the wide, sandy beaches call for lazy
days and sand castles, while a variety of activities beckon,
all the way from Old Nags Head (think classic beach) to
Corolla, with its massive, brightly painted Victorians.
We decided to split up the days, with activities in the
morning and beach time in the afternoon. Of course,
the weather wasn't always on our side. Rain can come on
in an instant. But, luckily, it often passes just as quickly.
We signed on for a number of outings through one of
the biggest and most popular outfitters in the area, Kitty
Hawk Kites (kittyhawk.com).
One morning, we went hang gliding over the dunes
where the Wright Brothers first took flight. It was a windy
morning, and though I was only 6 to 10 feet off the ground,
with instructors holding tethers on either side of me, I felt
as if I was soaring. Day two, it was on to kayaking in the
Alligator River, where, yes, we did see an alligator.
Then it was time for paddleboarding, which I love. We
cruised in the calm waters of Roanoke Sound just before
sunset, my girlfriend and daughter doing yoga on the
December 2012
I 63
board as I did my best to remain upright. (Next year, I'm bringing
my own Slingshot board, so I can do some showing off.)
We spent a lot of time eating in the Outer Banks, where there are
a plethora of dining choices, from tiny local haunts like Al's Place,
with the best burgers on the beach and a motto that's all too true"Locals Welcome, Tourists Tolerated" -to massive buffet restaurants
like Captain George's, where the trick is to keep it simple and just go
for the king crab legs, which they replenish nonstop.
We ate entirely too much ice cream at Fat Boyz and Italian
ice at Rita's. Other favorites of mine include Tortuga's Lie, Dare
Devil's Pizzeria, Kelly's, and Mama Kwan's. But the choices are
endless all up and down the main road, where you'll also find the
requisite T-shirts and hermit crabs for sale at a zillion beach paraphernalia shops.
We spent one morning fishing at Jennette's Pier (jennettespier.net),
which was a blast despite the morning drizzle. And we made a
pilgrimage to Manteo to see The Lost Colony. It felt strange to be
in the audience, having performed the show for thousands of tourists in the summer of 1995. But I would highly recommend seeing
it, with kids and all.
When rain did really overtake the day (which only happened
once all week long), we headed for the North Carolina Aquarium,
also on Roanoke Island. Be warned: The line can be exceptionally
long on rainy days. But it was a great place to while away the day.
Perhaps the best parts of the week were the lazy afternoons spent
on the wide, dune-lined beach, where we went boogie boarding and
flew the rainbow kite that we chose from the multitude of styles at
rdffiOOW
Kitty Hawk Kites. I also spent time reading and perusing the web and
was grateful to have SealLine waterproof (and sand proof!) cases on my
iPhone and iPad. The wind gets whippy there and the tide sneaks up on
you.Trust me on that one.
Other Outer Banks highlights include strolling the gorgeous
Elizabethan Gardens on Roanoke Island, as well as parasailing, jet
skiing, kite boarding and visiting the Wright Brothers Memorial.
Truth is, you can't really go wrong. There are plenty of beaches all
around the world, but only one that I know of that always feels like
home. (outerbanks.org) ■
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AN URBANOASISINNEWYORKCITY
ISYOURGO- TO PLACETO STAYAND PLAY
BYMERRYN
JOHNS
EVERSINCETHEPASSAGE
OF MARRIAGEEQUALITYin New York State, the Big
Apple has stolen the golden tiara of America's queerest city
from its West Coast cousin, San Francisco. It comes as no
surprise, then, that there is a place you can stay in New York
City that is not only gay-friendly and gay-owned-with
an
upscale, design-forward aesthetic that attracts gays like a
perfectly mixed dirty martini-but
is absolutely flaming.
The Out NYC is New York's first urban resort (more
on that later) smack dab in the gay heart of Manhattan,
near all the attractions of Hell's Kitchen, Times Square
and Chelsea. This fine establishment wears its queer
heart on its designer sleeve. From the minimalist-chic
lobby, which showcases artworks by the likes of Broadway
luminary Alan Cumming, to the smartly renovated rooms,
the resort facilities, the noteworthy restaurant KTCHN
and the fabulous nightclub XL, The Out NYC reflects
the remarkable vision of gay owners and condo developers
who took a humble '70s-era motel and transformed it into
a destination.
There are six types of accommodation to choose from,
catering to every budget. The Superior Rooms look more
like a hot young executive's downtown crash pad, complete
with built-in workspace and floor-to-ceiling mirrored
headboards-just
to encourage some Hell's Kitchen
decadence. The Luxury Quad Bunk Room screams lesbian
wedding party-perfect for a group of gals traveling together
to celebrate their friend's big day. Rates for the Quad start
at an unbelievably enticing $99 per person, and the room
comes with its own bathroom, and bunk beds that resemble
a futurist Orient Express: Each full-size bed has a personal
22" TV and privacy curtains.
And now to the resort facilities: The Out may once have
been a motel, but the extensive renovations, while preserving the best bones of this architecture, have greatly improved
upon it. Many rooms look onto the Secret Garden, a quiet
place with outdoor tables and plantings of black bamboo,
which form natural privacy screens. Who said that New
York is a concrete jungle:' The open-to-the-sky courtyard,
which is carpeted with AstroTur£ is a cheeky nod to
Central Park's Great Lawn, and here you can lounge in
beanbags and sip a glass of wine.
66
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The Out's stately, glass-covered atrium houses private
cabanas, two hot tubs, a sun deck with lounge chairs
and a 15-foot waterfall, perfect for splashing around on a
Manhattan midsummer's day. The state-of-the-art Revive
Spa, with its wellness center, sauna and steam room, is the
perfect place to purify yourself from the stress and grit of
the city. And of course there is a well-equipped gym. This
is a gay hotel!
Conventional hospitality wisdom has it that any
restaurant attached to a hotel is convenient but most likely
sub-par when it comes to offering a transcendental culinary
experience. Not so with KTCHN. This restaurant is as
good as any in the area, and it even has its own website,
touting its innovative approach to new American cuisine
(ktchnnyc.com).
On my recent stay, I sampled the West Coast Oysters
with warm leek fondue, basil caviar and champagne sauce,
followed by Diver Sea Scallops with asparagus risotto,
crawfish and basil essence. Yes, it's that good. And besides,
how can you not like a place that offers up a side of Sexy
Fries (these come with salt, vinegar, smoked paprika and
garlic). As for the service in New York City being rudewell, if you like the idea of servers who are so friendly you
feel like inviting them to sit down at your table and talk
about the latest Broadway show, save yourself a walk and
enjoy the hotel's hospitality.
But perhaps best of all is that The Out NYC comes with
its own entertainment. No need to trawl the underbelly
of the city's nightlife for a cocktail and a dance with your
girl. Stay at "home" and walk from the lobby right into XL
Nightclub, such a fun place that even the locals prefer it
over the neighborhood watering holes. This dub has the
razzle-dazzle we've come to expect from gay-boy bars (it's
the brainchild of nightlife impresario John Blair), but it's
also supremely welcoming to women and has a great vibe.
The dub also has a 14,000-square-foot high-tech party
space. Lesbian wedding reception, anyone:' Well, a girl
can dream, can't she:' And if she chooses to make those
dreams come true all under one roof at The Out NYC,
the lovely (mostly gay and lesbian) staff will be eager to
assist. ( theoutnyc.com) ■
YOUHAVETOLIKEA the word "breast:' Early in the first
CITYNAMEDAFTERcenturytheRomanswhowereinvading
Britain chose the site because, as they were scouring the
landscape, they saw a "breast-shaped hill" and thought
it looked like an attractive place to rest. They named the
site Mamucium, which is perhaps derived from the Latin
mamma, meaning udder or breast; or perhaps it is a
Latinization of the earlier Celtic word mamm, which refers
to a swell of land above the rivers. Although I looked
everywhere for breast shapes, I couldn't locate any in the
geography, but apparently the Romans found sufficient
succor here to build a large fort and several canals, the
earliest evidence of settlement.
Now with 2 million inhabitants in the greater metropolitan area, Manchester is one of the U.K:s largest
cities. A few hours north of London by train, about a
six-hour AA flight from New York's JFK, Manchester
offers a dose of urban sophistication, a swag of historical
sites and a relatively inexpensive base for exploring the
surrounding countryside, notably the Lake District and
the Yorkshire Moors.
It also, unfortunately, offers a lot of rain: Its location in
the foothills of the Pennine Mountains makes it one of the
wettest cities in Britain.
How could this rainy industrial center possibly be of
interest to traveling lesbians? Well, after the rain there
68
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are rainbows-more
pink, lavender and multicolored decorations filled the streets and shop windows of Manchester
than any other place I've seen, and not just in the gayborhood. During my August visit, Manchester's Town Hall
and the international airport (MAG) sported large rainbow
flags, glowing against the gray sky. And both the Museum
of Science and Industry and Manchester Museum had
impressive exhibits on gay history, featuring the works of
the mathematician and computer designer Allen Turing.
For the past five years, Manchester's Pride celebration
has been voted"Best Pride"by the readers of the Pink Paper
(PinkPaper.com is Britain's leading gay website); and in my
assessment it wins "Best Pride of My Life:' I was impressed
not just by the caliber of performer and undampenable
spirits of the participants, but by the event's overwhelming
inclusiveness: Here's a community everyone seems to be
proud 0£
Manchester Pride (manchesterpride.com) is bigger than
just the queer community. In 2011, some 45,000 wristbands were sold, allowing 45,000 people-some
of them
have to be straight-entry
into the cordoned-off, six-block
area that contains the concerts, parties and other weekend
events. The weekend follows a weeklong arts festival called
the "Fringe;' which doesn't require wristbands and offers
family-friendly, clean and sober events.
This city is flat and compact, making it very walkable.
Locals blithely ignore the traffic signals and the traffic,
going wherever they want on foot or hopping onto the free
trams. Canal Street is the center of the neighborhood called
the Gay Village. A century ago, according to Green Badge
tour guide John Ryan, this was the run~down, seedy part
of the city, where gay men could meet far from the public
eye or watchful police. Here stands the New Union, now
celebrated as one of the oldest gay pubs in town, but once
a secretive, female~owned "molly bar" where a three~piece
lesbian band used to play so gay men could illegally engage
in "licentious dancing;' and more.
Now, when gays, straights and the undeclared all legally
enjoy a large number of "gay" pubs on and around Canal
Street (note: local wags routinely delete the "C'' from the
signs), lesbians tend to congregate at the Vanilla Bar, a
place as comfortable and unthreatening as its name. Large,
well~lit and actually decorated, it bespeaks inclusiveness
with a large sign outside prodaiming"Boys Are Welcome!"
and, amazingly, a male bartender. During Pride weekend,
the Vanilla Bar hosts the block party of dykes known as
Girlzone, where women dance, sing, flirt and keep each
other warm throughout the inevitable downpours.
At long~term community bar Taurus, most evenings
co~owner Mike "Polly" Pollard climbs the steps of a
platform outside his bar and rants. Usually in bad drag,
as good~natured as she is foul~mouthed, Polly screams
free entertainment, gossip and commentary to all within
earshot.
On Pride kickoff evening, once the people around me
started slurring their words-making
their lovely~but~
difficult accents incomprehensible- I returned to the
serenity of the Radisson Blu Edwardian, an imposing and
comfortable hotel in the Italianate palazzo~style Free Trade
Hall. Now a champagne bar and high~end restaurant
(Opus One), the ground floor once served as a venue
for political speakers including Winston Churchill and
feminist Christabel Pankhurst, and later as a concert hall
for everyone from Bob Dylan to the Sex Pistols.
The hotel impressed me with its history, but the streets
struck me as super~friendly. Every night when I walked
alone, people I passed said hello, often calling, "You all
right, lover" and offering directions when I looked lost.
Nowhere else in England have I met such accommodating
locals: Here is the "friendly North" of the country, which
parallels the American South in its hospitality. At mid~
night, I roamed through small alleys and forgotten areas
of downtown, never worried about anything more than
keeping my feet dry.
Foodie highlights of the city include the Richmond
Tea Rooms, a fiercely fabulous old building owned by
two men who run a cocktail bar on one side and on the
other an Alice in Wonderland~themed tearoom (featuring
cheeky signs saying"Drink Me" over a row of teapots and
teas,"Eat Me" over the cakes).
My favorite meal was at Australasia, an elegant restaurant
started by an Australian. The wine list was largely European,
and the cocktails included a fantastic cumquat~cucumber
mojito full of fresh mint leaves and crushed ice.
En route to the parade on Saturday, my friends and I
stopped at the newly opened Alchemist Bar on New York
Street. It's a light, airy space furnished with distressed~
leather sofas imprinted with equally distressed Union
Jacks. Senior mixologist Aaron Smallman introduced us
to the signature cocktail, the Mad Hatter's Tea Party: An
elderflower mixture is poured over dry ice in a teapot, so
that thick creamy steam emerges from the spout, cover~
ing both mixologist and drinker in white cloud. Once it
dears, the beverage is poured: a pale green, sour~floral
brew much appreciated by my friends, especially those
who'd missed breakfast.
Feeling festive after our liquid brunch, we reached the
official starting point for the Pride parade. The parade's
entire route, over a mile long, was lined with crowds,
usually several people deep and sometimes two people
high, where grownups had children up on their shoulders.
Thousands of not apparently gay people and straight
allies had come to watch, many in costume. Bunny rabbits
held hands with elves, gypsies cavorted with princesses,
flamenco dancers waved flags-and
that was just the
adults! It seems a lot of Mancunians see the parade as a
carnival~like chance to dress up and have fun, regardless
of their orientation-and
isn't that how we want our
celebrations to be?
For the nighttime concerts, I went to the VIP viewing
tent-a raised platform at the back of the audience, fea~
turing a roof and a well~stocked bar. I got a Pimms cup
(the summer drink of choice in sunny parts of Britain; also
available in Manchester) and hung around waiting for the
headliners, a band called Steps, which I was assured was a
big name in the U.K.
A tall man with a shaved head moved in front of me,
blocking my already limited view. I put a soft hand on his
prominent bicep and suggested, nicely but firmly, that he
shouldn't stand there.
"But it's Steps!" he squealed, in explanation and apology,
and obligingly sidled sideways. I gathered that he meant
he'd been so carried away that he'd neglected his usual
English (and gay) manners, and he was sorry, but he hoped
I'd understand. I did, sort of.
He and everyone else kept moving in perfect, robotic,
smiling synch with the music, swiftly changing position
with each line of the lyrics, none of which I could make
out. For me, it was just a throbbing, over~amped bass and
masses of damp, happy Brits dancing to music they'd
loved for a long time. Though they might have been
drunk, they knew their moves by heart. I wished I knew
them, too, but I liked just being there, watching. Even
though I hadn't located their breast~shaped hill, and
even though I couldn't really join in their dance, I felt
like part of their Pride. ( visitmanchester.com) ■
December 2012
I 69
LADIES'NIGHT
SOUTHOF
THEBORDER
FORMORETHAN30 YEARS,been getting their
GAYSAND LESBIANS
HAVE on at La Avispa
swerve
in San
Jose, Costa Rica. It is one of the best~known gay nightspots
in Latin America, an icon not just among the locals, but
for the thousands of tourists who now flock to Central
America for affordable vacations.
But the lesbian owner, Ana Vega, will tell you that there
have been struggles, especially in the early years, when the
police often raided the club, even though homosexuality
per se was never illegal in Costa Rica.
"They would get us into police cars as if we were animals,
take us into detention, and leave us there until 7 a.m. the
following day;' says Vega, 58, who was born and raised in
San Jose. "We would call those cars 'kennels:"
Finally, in 1990, the Constitutional Court of Costa
Rica passed laws to prohibit these raids, and while the
occasional police hassle does still occur, La Avispa (which
THELESBIAN-OWNEDNIGHTCLUB
LA AVISPASERVES
UPLIBATIONS
AND LIBERATION
TO COSTARIOXS
LESBIANSAND GAYS.
BYSHERYLKAY
means "the wasp" in Spanish) has been abuzz with high~
octane energy ever since.
Although the exterior is very unassuming, on the
inside patrons will find two floors filled with partygoers
(maximum 2,000), a pulsating dance floor, and high~tech
lighting. The place throbs at least once a month with noche
de mujeres (Ladies' Night). The music, either by DJ or a
live band, is hot, hot, hot-everything
from vibrating salsa
to hip~hop and techno. The cover charge varies depending
on the entertainment, and decent local beers are available
for $2. Beat that!
And here's something else. Costa Ricans love getting
dressed up, so some very striking ladies are sure to be in
attendance.
Vega says there is always a great party at La Avispa,
but, for her, the purpose and the impact of the club go
one step further.
"I feel great pride in being able to offer a dignified place
for our community;' says Vega, "where someone is able to
express love or eroticism with someone else, who is then
able to respond, all in a safe place:'
There are lots of gay bars in San Jose-El Bochinche
and Puchos Nightclub, both just a few blocks from La
Avispa-but almost all of them cater to men.
La Avispa is right in downtown San Jose: Calle 1, between
Avenidas 8 and 10. Any taxi driver knows the club, and it
is best to take a taxi there and back, because the surrounding
neighborhood is a bit rough.
But don't let that throw you.
Especially on Ladies' Night, La Avispa is the place to
be. (laavispa.co.cr) ■
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REVIEWSMusic Watch
Love,Musicand Mortality
A key year in the life of queer band Girlyman. By Dave Steinfeld
'Tm a firefighter-and
I like your music!"
That was one fan's response after seeing the Atlanta-based folk-pop foursome
Girlyman perform. Despite the potentially
controversial name and the fact that all four
of its members are openly queer, Girlyman
has a way of winning even the skeptics over.
That could be because their music is easy
on the ears and rooted in traditional forms.
Or maybe it's because the band members
themselves are just so likable.
Girlyman features four members-Doris
Muramatsu, Ty Greenstein, Nate Borofsky
and JJ Jones-who
all sing, write and play
various instruments.Jones, the band's most
recent addition,joining in 2010 and became
not only their first full-time drummer but
721
curve
also Muramatsu's partner. But that wasn't
the only significant change between the
release of their fourth studio album, 2009's
Everything'sEasy, and the recent follow-up,
Supernova. In the fall of 2010, Muramatsu
was diagnosed with leukemia. "We had
done a U.K. tour, our first, in September;'
she recalls. "I didn't feel right on that tour
and I just thought that I was really jetlagged. But after three weeks of feeling
jet-lagged, we came back to the States [for]
another tour. I started dropping all this
weight and was sleeping all the time in the
van. I had this low-grade fever and bruises
all over my body. And I kept craving anything that was flavored with mint. Like,
I [wanted to] eat the toothpaste! So JJ
looked up 'person craving mint all the time'
online and they were saying that people
who are anemic sometimes crave [it]. So
I was like, I'll just take some iron and I'll
feel better.
"It got to the point, though, where I was
really, really sick;' she continues. "I could
barely walk up a flight of stairs without
feeling completely winded. So we finally
went to an urgent care [center] and the
doctor there was like, Oh my God, you
have to go to the emergency room right
now. We rushed to the emergency room
and the doctor, after examining me and
doing a blood test, basically said, 'All signs
are pointing to leukemia. We'll need to
keep you for the night and we'll do tests
tomorrow to confirm it: I was shocked
because I'm a really healthy person! I
exercise and I eat well. This is the last
thing I thought would ever happen to
me. And I was really resistant to it. It
was just the beginning of a huge night~
mare:' Fortunately, that nightmare is
now on the wane. Muramatsu did endure
some chemotherapy and she is now on
a medication called Sprycel, possibly
for the rest of her life. But the good
news is that by late 2011, she was in
full remission.
While Muramatsu's brush with cancer
doesn't inform Supernova directly, it does
seep into some songs-including
the
title track. Jones explains to me that at
Girlyman's current live performances,
"Doris kind of comes out at every
show" -not about her orientation but
about having survived leukemia. "She
introduces the song 'Supernova' that
was actually written by Nate;' says the
drummer. "The supernova is a dying
star, and she did feel that way at certain
points. But supernovas also give birth
to new stars. It was like this rebirth of
Doris and the band and [our] musicspiritually, emotionally, all of that. [For a
while] she would also talk about being
really depressed about it and then com~
ing out of that. That was a whole other
form of rebirth. And at every show, at
least one person, if not multiple people,
come up and say,Tm a survivor:"
Supernova itself runs through a wide
range of human emotions. Album
opener "Nothing Left" was written and
sung by Borofsky with a harmony vocal
from Muramatsu that will take your
breath away; the song, about receiving a
life~changing phone call, is sadly beauti~
ful in its simplicity. But by the album's
final track, "Best I Could;' the mood has
lightened considerably. To these ears,
the upbeat, folky "Best I Could" sounds
like a love song from Muramatsu to
Jones. In between are other strong tunes
like "Michaelangelo" and Greenstein's
"Empire of Our State;' which features a
cameo from Emily Saliers of the Indigo
Girls. "We grew up with their music;'
says Muramatsu of Saliers and Amy
Ray. "They were idols of ours. Ty had
written [that] song and we were trying to
think of people we could ask to guest on it.
And she was like, I would really love to have
Emily on the album. So we contacted her. It
was so great to have her on our album and on
that song in particular:'
Girlyman is now back in full force, touring
behind Supernova. And even though they went
through hell to get to this point, they're focusing
on the positive these days. The love between
Jones and Muramatsu, in fact, is one thing that
helped the couple get through such a turbulent
time. 'JJ really stepped up and dealt with all my
doctors and nurses and paperwork;' she says.
"She was an amazing advocate for me when I
was sick. I couldn't have had the recovery I had
without her:' For her part, Jones adds, "[Doris]
was so fortunate; if she was going to get cancer,
this is one of the most treatable [forms].
Literally, months before she was diagnosed, the
drug that she's taking had been OK'd by the
FDA. She may even go off this drug at some
point and stay in remission. After the diagnosis,
there was almost no other bad news. So that
certainly was a different kind of experience.
Just really uplifting and life~aflirming:' Kind
of like the members of Girlyman themselves.
(girlyman.com) ■
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Body of Work
Exploringthe sensual and the sexual with Akinfe Fatou'sSwoon. By Adam L. Brinklow
Akinfe Fatou's new poetry collection, Swoon, presents tangible
physicality, organic sensuality and multilayered intimacy intended
to arouse and to empower. Swoon, the follow~up to her 2008 collec~
tion, Once as Lovers, moves away from that first book's overt sexual
preoccupation and toward a more complex idea of the sensuous.
But first and foremost, it is poetry about the body and everything
that comes with it. "We are spiritual beings, but we're in the physical;'
Fatou says. "That's how we relate, flesh to flesh, as opposed to that
spiritual connection right off the bat:'
Swoon certainly puts readers in mind of the flesh: "I kiss the blood
/ And raise the flesh / You left behind / [... ] I tasted your skin;'
reads "Square of 5th's;' one of Fatou's own favorites in the collection.
Another of her favorites, "Evenings Like These;' presents a quieter
but no less tangible vignette of physicality: 'J\ll the lovers / Nudging
one another / [... ] Pretending to read / Each other's palms:'
Even a poem as seemingly immaterial as "Languedoc" (entire
poem: 'J\bove all / I am just a woman / Wanting ... / To share my
world / With you") contains a hidden link to sensual experience:
The title refers to Fatou's favorite wine, one you can almost taste on
the tip of the tongue when you read the word aloud. Fatou talks a lot
about spirituality and emotional journeys, but Swoon's language is
grounded, overt and above all, tactile."Touch is natural and healthy
when given and received in a manner that honors the other person;'
Fatou says. "It's how we encounter the world:'
Whereas Fatou's first collection of poems was largely about sex,
with Swoon she wanted to encompass more than that. Bodies are
sexual, sure, but when we associate bodies only with sex we create
a barrier, she says. 'Tm always wanting to highlight our bodies, our
minds and our spirits. We shouldn't be hiding or misrepresenting
ourselves. People see the body and consider it taboo, but we're
better than that:'
The photograph on the cover of the book shows a naked
woman's midsection-her
stomach, her hips and the underside of
her breasts, beaded with perspiration and caressed by the contrast
of light and shadow. No doubt about it, it's hot, but Fatou reminds
us that there's more going on than that: The hips, the breasts and
the womb are all symbolic of life and of nurturing, and the nudity
reflects what Fatou calls 'genuineness;' but what we might also call
earnestness and openness.
Fatou's poetry combines bursts of short, austere lines with
bombastic imagery to create a feeling that is encompassing and
illustrative but still clipped and sometimes stripped. She sways back
and forth between gauzy romanticism and startling frankness, as in
the title poem, which opens with "Tonics, good spells & / Flower
essences;' but soon veers off into "Cum saturated articles of clothing /
Intermingling breast / With spilled cocktails:' Close the book and
the quiet, pastoral eloquence of"Trees glazed in/ Snowflakes"butts
up face to face with "Savage like / Fuck noises / From ligament to
74
I curve
/ Ligament" on the opposite page. Fatou's lines celebrate the body,
but she doesn't shy away from the fact that bodies aren't always
pretty. Fatou is a romantic, but she's a clear~eyed, unflinching
romantic, and even the ugly can become appealing in the light of
her earnest appreciation.
Fatou is a clear-eyed, unflinching
romantic, and even the ugly can
become appealing in the light of
her earnest appreciation.
While largely a personal reflection on people's relationships,
both with each other and with themselves, Swoon carries a certain
political and social resonance, as Fatou considers herself a queer
feminist artist. The poems' statements on the body, particularly
on women's bodies, aflirm the individual but push back against
society. "You see a lot of ads, and there's a lot of music videos and
rhetoric that paints the image of the body, especially for women, as
almost like a tool or a toy;' Fatou says. "There's a lot of disrespectful
material objectifying it. We need to shift away from bodies being
objectified:'
Not all of the poems in Swoon dwell on the anatomy. There are
poems about purely emotional experiences, poems about urban life
and landscapes, and above all poems about Fatou's interest in the
people around her. Her declaration in"Languedoc" about wanting to
share her world applies not just to friends and lovers but, seemingly,
to the entire human race, and certainly to her readers. 'Tm a loving
person, period;' she says, and that openness and sincere affection
ornaments her work.
Fatou grew up in Washington, D.C., and attended Howard
University. On top of being a poet she's also an activist, currently
laboring on The Akinfe Fatou Project, a program to promote
visibility for women of color in the arts, and a third collection of
poetry is in the works as well. ■
SWAN SONGS
Two narratives explore the end of loving
relationships between women.
Tealeaves:A Memoirof Mothersand
JanetMason(BellaBooks):
Daughters,
Overthe pastseveralyears,a newsubgenreof lesbianmemoirhasemerged.
Itfocusesonwhathappenswhenthe
writerchooses
to returnhometo care
for herelderlyor dyingmother.Inthe
process,
bothmotheranddaughterbegin
to workthroughthedynamicsof their
(oftencontentious)
relationship.
Overall,
this kindof memoiris notentirelynew,as
straightwomenhavebeenwritingabout
theseexperiences
for years-take,for
example,
Jo Maeder'sWhenI MarriedMy
Mother.It makessensethatthespecific
subjectmatterof thesenewmemoirs
wouldappealto the generation
of lesbian
readerswhohavemovedfar beyondthe
coming-out
novelsof the '80s.Butfor the
writersthemselves-nowcaretaking
their
agingparents,
turningtowardratherthan
awayfromtheirmothersin particular,
and
grapplingwiththeirownmortality-this
is traversinguncharted
waters.Following
the much-heralded
publication
of both
ChanaWilson'sRidingFuryHomeand
AlisonBechdel's
graphicmemoirAre You
MyMother?,TeaLeavesis moresubtle
andperhapsnotasstrong;nonetheless,
it hasits lovelymoments.
Mason,who
left herfactory-worker
rootsbehindto
becomea journalist,wondersif hermother
is proudof heraccomplishments,
or if she
harborsresentment:
"I mighthavefelt
guiltybecauseI waslivingoutmy mother's
ambitions.Morethananything
else,my motherhadwantedan
education.Thiswasn'tpossiblefor her...
so shedid the onlythingshecould.She
passedherdreamsdownto herdaughter."
Inthe time Masonspendscaringfor her
mother,shebecomesnewlyawareof
the memoriesandthefeministsensibilitiestheyshare,andthe pridetheyhave
in eachother.Afterhermother'sdeath,
Masonstates,"Writingthis memoir
enabledmeto continuemyconversationwith my mother... Thewriting,and
the contemplation
of thoselivesthat led
to mine-my grandmother's
andmy
mother's-gavemean understanding
of myselfthattranscended
my lifetime,"
wordsthat manywomen,especially
thosewho havesharedsuchan experience,will cherish.
in her20s,andJordan,a conartistmore
than1Oyearshersenior.Jordan,a controllingandvolatileborderline
personality
(Andrea
callsherthe CriminalMastermind),
is ableto keepAndreahookedwith
excitingsex,unpredictable
behavior
and
theirsharedobsession
witha band,Cry
Wolf.Ledbythe enigmaticlesbiansinger
Adrienne
andherbrotherPeter,CryWolf
is the musicalcenterpiece
of the book.
Manyof thedetailsof JordanandAndrea's
loveaffairrevealthemselves
whilethe
womenwait in linefor,or attend,CryWolf
concerts.
Thereis evenanappendixlisting
"Adrienne's
bestclothes,"andseveral
pagesof Andrea's"CryWolfconcerts
attended,"
whichspana decade,
fromJuly
1988throughSeptember
2008,andtake
placemostlyin citiesaroundLosAngeles
andChicago,
wherethe characters
live.
does
HerselfWhenShe'sMissing,
SarahTerez Infact,oneof thethingsRosenblum
bestis to createa Chicago
cityscape
that
Rosenblum
(SoftSkullPress):Previous
epicenterof
reviewshavepointedoutthatSarahTerez functionsastheemotional
thesetwoyounglesbians'lives.Andrea's
Rosenbaum's
debutnovel,HerselfWhen
tripsto BelmontHarborandWrigleyField,
She'sMissing,is bothsexyandedgy.But
herdrinksin Boystown
andmealsat
thatdescription
alonedoesn'tdojustice
the ChicagoDiner,andevenherjaunts
to thisgrittystoryof girl lovegonewrong.
to nearbycitieslikeMadison,
Wisc.,are
Rosenbaum's
bookasksusto considera
perfectlyportrayed.
Ultimately,
though,
multilayered
question:
Cana womanlove
anotherwomanif shedoesnottrusther,
HerselfWhenShe'sMissingis aboutthe
andhowcanthatwomanresistlosing
exhilaration
andurgencyof a relationship
herselfin the process?
Thisgripping,
overwhichAndreahaslittlecontrol.Except,
psychologically
poignantnovelportraysthe perhaps,
whenit is finally,blessedly,
over.
longloveaffairbetween
Andrea,a teacher [RachelPepper]
December 2012
I 75
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Titillating
TuckyWilliams
The Girl/GirlScene creator dishes on the secrets behind the sexy series. By Emelina Minero
Web~savvy dykes are already familiar with
lezzie bombshell Tucky Williams, creator
and lead actor of the hit web series, Girl/
Girl Scene. The show delves into the lives
of a group of lesbians in their 20s in
Lexington, Ken.-and in its second series
has added Abisha Uhl of the lezzie band
Sick of Sarah as a full~time cast member,
offering yet another reason why Girl/ Girl
Sceneis must~stream TV. But the true story
of Williams proves to be more fascinating
than the fiction. From awkward kid, to
meteorologist, to horror movie heroine
and finally online entrepreneur, Williams
blazed her own trail while trying to find
where she fit in. Now Williams comes
clean about how a secret crush inspired the
series and how living with epilepsy has
transformed both her art and her life.
Tellusyourtruelife story.
I was born. I experienced existential despair
since day one. I had a wonderful mother. I
was dissatisfied with my life at the age of
four, and I decided that I wanted to pursue
acting. I didn't like school very much, so
I dropped out in the sixth grade. I home
schooled, and I was very lonely, and then
I went to college way too young. I felt
misunderstood because I looked like I was
college age because I was 6 feet tall. And
I wanted to be a model, and I thought I
was going to be a model, but it was right
before that time when they switched over
to being like Claudia Schiffer and Cindy
Crawford to being really, really thin. So, I
didn't make the cut. [Laughs.] I tried to go
down a normal path in life, and I got the
meteorology degree and the journalism
degree, and again I was dissatisfied. So I
did Girl/ Girl Sceneand it turns out it made
me really happy.
Dida girlinspireGirl/GirlScene?
There was this girl I really liked, and I
wanted to get her attention. So, [I thought]
if I wrote this big gay thing and got known
for being gay, she might pay attention to
me. That's the truth. I never said that in an
interview before. I want to get this girl's
attention. [Laughs]
Didit work?
No, still working on it. It wouldn't be any
fun if I already got her attention. Not yet.
Hopefully soon.
Howhasthe showchangedyourlife?
My whole life is lesbian because of the
show. I don't even think about it anymore.
I love being a lesbian. I love it. I'm so happy
5
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76
I curve
2012 STATEMENT OF OWNERSHIP
Publication
Title:Curve.
Publication
No.:0010-355.
FilingDate:Oct1, 2012
IssueFrequency:
MonthlyexceptbimonthlyJan/Feband July/Aug.
Numberof IssuesPublished
Annually:1O
AnnualSubscription
Price:$59.90
CompleteMailingAddress:POBox467
NewYorkNY10034.
ContactPerson:SilkeBader
Telephone:
(415)871-0569
Publisher:
SilkeBader
POBox467 NewYorkNY10034
Editor:MerrynJohns
POBox467 NewYorkNY10034
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POBox467 NewYorkNY10034
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SiIke BaderPOBox467 NewYorkNY10034
Publication
Title:Curve.IssueDatefor
CirculationData:Dec12. ExtentandNature
of Circulation:
AverageNo.CopiesEach
IssueDuringPreceding
12 Months:A)Total
No.CopiesNetPressRun:56,505.B)Paid
Circulation.
(ByMailandOutsidethe Mail)(1)
MailedOutside-County
PaidSubscriptions
Statedon Form3541:12,603;(2) Mailed
In-CountyPaidSubscriptions
Statedon Form
3541:O;(3) PaidDistributionOutsidethe
MailsIncludingSales_roughDealersand
Carriers,StreetVendors,CounterSales,and
OtherPaidDistribution
outsideUSPS:
27,486;
(4)PaidDistributionby OtherClassesof
Mail_ roughthe USPS:
2,500.C)TotalPaid
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Freeor NominalRateOutside-County
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includedon Form3541:O;(2) Freeor Nominal
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O;(3)Freeor NominalRateCopiesMailedat
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(4)Freeor NominalRateDistributionOutside
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andNatureof Circulation/No.
Copiesof Single
IssuePublishedNearestto FilingDateA)Total
No.CopiesNetPressRun:52,237.
§
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I love being a lesbian.
I love it. I'm so happy
I'm a lesbian.It's not
an afterthought.I
love everysecond of
it. But I just expect
everyoneto be a
lesbian.I just think
everyonelivesin
my bubble.
I'm a lesbian. It's not an afterthought. I love
every second of it. But I just expect every~
one to be a lesbian. I just think everyone
lives in my bubble.
Whatotherthingsdoyouwantfromtheshow,
besides
wooingyourmysterylady?
(Laughs] I want more people to see it
of course. That's really important. I just
want people to know it's out there. I think
it's so great now. With season two, I love
absolutely everything about it, everything.
The more people who see it, the more it's
going to reach people. I just have so much
fun doing it, and I love Kayden [Kross] and
Abisha (Uhl] so much. I love spending time
with them.
Speakingof AbishaUhl,is she a permanent
castmembernow?
B)PaidCirculation.
(ByMailandOutside
the Mail)(1)MailedOutside-County
Paid
Subscriptions
Statedon Form3541:11,543;
(2)MailedIn-CountyPaidSubscriptions
Stated
on Form3541:O;(3) PaidDistributionOutside
the MailsIncludingSales_roughDealersand
Carriers,StreetVendors,CounterSales,and
OtherNon-USPS:
25,457;(4) PaidDistribution
by OtherClassesof Mail_ roughthe USPS:
1,250.C)TotalPaidDistribution:
38,250.D)
Freeor NominalRateDistribution(byMailand
Outsidethe Mail):(1) Freeor NominalRate
Outside-County
as Statedon Form3541:O;
(2)Freeor NominalRateIn-CountyCopies
includedon Form3541:O;(3) Freeor Nominal
RateDistributionMailedat OtherClasses
45; (4) Freeor Nominal
_ roughthe USPS:
RateDistributionOutsidethe Mail:12,699.
E)TotalFreeor NominalRateDistribution:
12,744.F)TotalDistribution:
50,994.G)Copies
NotDistributed:1,243.H)Total:52,237.I)
of Statementof
PercentPaid:75%.Publication
Ownership:
Dec2012
December 2012
I 77
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
I don't know anything about season three
yet. I know I want to keep working with
Abisha forever, for as long as possible. She's
an amazing talent. It's not fair that someone
would excel at two things, you know, acting
and music, but she does.
Youhavebecomevocalabouthavingepilepsy.
Tellusmoreaboutthat.
I'm talking about it in my interviews, and I'm
GrrrlLoveand
Revolution:
Riot
Grrr/NYC
ChelyWrightrockedthe SwedishstunnerNoami (WMMReleasing}
countrymusicworld
Rapace
first blewus
whenshecameout in awaywithherturnas
It's easyto lookback
2010.Herstorywas
LisbethSalander
inthe at riotgrrrlwith rosesplashed
acrossthe
Millennium
seriesand
coloredglasses.
The
coverof Peopleand
shecontinues
to take
movement,
with its
curve andsheeven on boldandriveting
celebration
of girlhood
sharedherstoryin a
roles.ThistimeRapace andits callto fight back
varietyof TVinterviews starsas Dr.Elizabeth
againstthe patriarchy,
includingOprahand
Shaw,a scientist
wasresponsible
for
TheToday
Show.But
leadingthechargeinto helpingmanyyoung
beforeherverypublic deepspaceto discover womento discover
comingout,Wright
theoriginof mankind. theirvoicesas musihadliveda carefully- However,
insteadof
cians,activistsandas
guardedlifesofull
findinghumanity's
feminists.WhileGrrrl
creatorshemayhave
of secrets,fearand
LoveandRevolution
shameit nearlykilled
stumbleduponour
is notthefirstfilm to
her.WishMeAway
destruction.
Thisquasi- document
the era,
documents
herjourney Alienprequelalso
whatmakesit so interfromclosetedcountry costarsCharlize
Theron estingthatit's madeup
starto outLGBT
activist. asthesteelyMeredith of footageandinterToldthroughinterviews, Vickerswhorepresents viewsshotduringthe
archivalfootageand
thecorporate
interest
actualmovement.
The
confessional
video
behindthe mission.
The documentary
focuses
journals,WishMeAway film harksbackto the
onthe N.Y.C.
scene
laysbarethewoman
slowburnsci-fiof the
andoffersa glimpseof
behindthe headlines '?Osandfeaturessome whatriotgrrrlmeant
andis bothilluminating of the mostdazzlingart to theyoungwomen
andraw.It explores
directionandsetpieces involved.
Butbestof
bothherfearsandher in cinematichistory.
all,it illuminates
the
triumphsasshebravely Fansof RidleyScott's
powerfulpotentialof
decidesto tell theworld originalAlienaresure
motivated
women-a
whoshereallyis. Don't to enjoythe latestentry welcomemessage
in
today'spoliticalclimate.
missthisone!
inthisseries.
WishMeAway
(FirstRunFeatures}
78
I curve
Prometheus
(20thCenturyFox}
ness,but we weren'ttold what she suffered
from.Why?
When I was telling people [about my epilepsy]
for a long time before it got under control,
I was going around saying, I'm really scared
I'm going to die. And they would go, Oh,
no, no, no, no, you're not going to die from
that. As soon as people find out something
is wrong with you, they want to know what
it is so they can put a label on it, and
they want to make it so that they
can justify that everything is going
to be OK. With Katie having that
[unnamed] condition, I didn't want
people to know what it was because
I wanted them to know that it didn't
matter.
Canyougiveus anyhintson howseasontwowill playout?
RedWhite+ Raw:
I'm really happy with this season. I
TheKathyGriffin
said to the new directors: It's really
Collection
important-my
priority is show~
(Shout!Factory}
ing girls kissing. [Laughs] We need
that this season. That needs to be
Saucystraightally
the focus. Show lots of girls kissing
KathyGriffinhasmade
because
that's what's going to draw
a stellarstand-up
people into the story.
careerfromtelling
Onelastquestion:
Whoisthegirlyou're
outrageous
taleson her
fellowcelebsandshe
crushing
on?Spill!
doessowithshameIt's a secret! I haven't told anyone
lessaplombin Red,
who it is. And plenty of people have
White+ Raw.From
asked me, and I just cannot talk
herrun-inwiththe
about it. If this never works out,
Kardashians
to hernotthen what would be the point of the
so-subtlesmackdown
■
show? (girlgirlscene.com)
of notedhomophobe
MicheleBachmann,
Griffinhasourback
andticklesourfunny
bonein equalmeasure.
Wejust can'tget
enoughof thisfunny
ladybutwith Red,
White+ Rawwe get
closebecause
this
riotouscollection
featuressevenof the
comic'scomedy
specials,including
Ballsof Steel,Guurl
DownandTired
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nowuncutand
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uncensored.
Thisis a
~
w
must-watch
for any
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Griffinfan.
getting a lot of fan mail from girls who are
saying that they didn't think they could have
a life before, and then they watch my show
and feel better. This [show] has helped them
such a great deal just to be able to identify
with me, and then of course my character
[Evan] who started to have seizures this
season.
In seasononeKatieStewarthasa terminalill-
5
(/)
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Fromthe FemArt Collection
December 2012
I 79
STARS
Festive, Footloose and Fancy Free As Venus slides into adventurous
Sagittarius, grab some holly under the mistletoe. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
Anything that you decide to do this December will
benefit you and spread your power and influence
into new territories. So be an explorer and get going.
Ladies who you meet now will take you to the next
step. New projects and ideas have the capacity to take
you up and out. Hop on.
Gemini(May22-June 21)
Canoodle with your lady all through the holiday season
and find ways to spoil her with as many lavish treats as
affordable. For those Twins who are seeking their soul~
mates, expand your search by checking out unusual
venues in out~of~the~way locations. You never know
who is waiting for you in some faraway paradise.
Capricorn(Dec.23-Jan. 20)
You will be surprised at who pulls you under the mis~
tletoe this December. Why ask whyr Just enjoy the
surprising adoration and resolve to make your holiday
season a series of luscious love affairs. Spread a little
of your largesse around and see how your personal oil
quickly heats up cooks. I see a feast in your future.
Cancer(June22-July 23)
It will be too easy to fall into the role of drone at work,
while everyone else parties. You may find that job tasks
are a relaxing escape from all of the holiday tumult. But
more likely, you really tarry at the office because there
is a certain lovely lady there and you are looking for
any excuse to just hang around. See if you can perk her
up while she grabs a cup of coffee in the lunchroom.
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Find reserves of energy to attend as many holiday
group happenings as possible. Join new organizations
that can expand your social circle into a globe. You'll be
the center of attention as gal pals vie for your affection.
Make good use of your sudden burst of charisma to
get who you want, what you want, when you want and
how you want it.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
The holiday party season opens with a flourish. You
are on all the A~level lists and will only be constrained
by your energy level and tight schedule. Relationships
can be made, played and splayed. So be discerning
with your time and attention. Choose those events
where you expand your creativity and feel inspired.
Pisces(Feb.20-March 20)
There is almost too much going on behind the scenes
to make much sense of it all. But if you can pull back
and focus on the big picture and become attuned to its
various movements and cycles, your intuition will help
you navigate any professional potholes. December is a
month to recalibrate your ambitions.
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
December is a great time to concentrate on your domes~
tic agenda whether that means moving, redecorating
or just hanging around the house with a bunch of
bosom buddies. I vote for the latter. Plan some relax~
ing holiday festivities designed to make your home a
desirable destination for your adoring fan club.
Aries(March21-April 20)
Stoke your passion for exotic romance by getting out
of your comfort zone this December. Try something
or someone new. Move and groove in different social
groups, gate~crash a private holiday party of notables
or even pick up and travel to a new destination where
anything goes-and it will!
Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
Libras are particularly charming this December and
why notr You have ample charisma and charm and
you seem to know just what to say and when to say it.
This gives you access to some exclusive holiday events.
Put your words into action as you plug into the party
circuit. See who you can connect with and light up.
Taurus(April21-May 21}
Not only are you especially sexy this December, you
are also able to make some important inroads in your
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is
theauthorofHerScopes: career by impressing the powers~that~be. Let's see how
you maneuver through your office holiday party. I do
A Guideto Astrology
not recommend sitting on the Xerox machine with
for Lesbians
(Simon&
your pants down. That is one impression you don't
Schuster)
(tinyurl.com/HerScopes).
Nowavailableasan ebook.
want to make.
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Most of us worry about finances this time of year,
but not you. December can bring a flush of funds as
your careful investment strategies begin to pay off.
For those Sapphic Scorpios who have been less than
diligent, there may still be a small pot of gold waiting
for you at the end of the rainbow. Try to save it for a
rainy day. ■
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
Sagittarianstreat everyone
fairly andhonestlyandexpect
the sametreatmentin return.
Woeto the fool whotries
to imposetheir intolerant
attitudeson her! Nuclear
fallout is a picnicin the park
comparedto the venomshe
can unleashwith that divinely
sharptongue.Sagittarian
mamasgo for the jugularin
an argument-becausethey
can.Whateverpainsyouthe
mostbecomesfodderfor her
attack.Amazinglythough,
oncethe tiradeis overshe
is backto beingherfriendly
self-no grudgesheld,
at leastnot by her.
Hey,forgiveandforget.
so I curve
x
§
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FOR MEETING LESBIAN
SINGLES ONLINE
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Features
56
DECEMBER
2012
Laughing Out Loud
Lily Tomlin has made us laugh for over four
decades with her unforgettable characters.
Now she talks about her new TV role and
opens up about a lifetime of love and creative
collaboration with her partner, Jane Wagner.
By Merryn Johns
30
A Matter of Faith
Meet the lesbians at the pulpit who refuse
to choose between their sexuality and their
calling. By Victoria A Brownworth
34
Hoop Dreams
A passion for basketball and for being out is
taking Jacki Gemelos to the top of her game.
By Lyndsey O'Arcangelo
36
Fostering Success
Award-winning songwriter Jen Foster is
mastering musical genres and staying true to
herself on the road to rock 'n' roll stardom.
By Adam L. Brink/ow
2012 Holiday Gift Guide
Over 100 great gift ideas to suit every
lesbian's budget, starting at as little as $5.
Hand-selected to reflect our commitment to
equal rights, women in business, fair trade
and sustainable and cruelty-free products.
52
Whip It Good
The roller derby craze has hit South Africa
and is empowering women to find their inner
strength. By Lauren Barkume
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Heading to the Big Apple? Then you'll need
to know all about this chic hotel made by
and just for us! By Merryn Johns
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The Pride of Manchester
Manchester Pride has been voted the best
of Britain. Curve investigates and discovers
why no lesbian should miss this amazing
annual event. By Gillian Kendall
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I1
Departments
IN EVERY ISSUE
6
7
8
10
17
18
20
26
80
22
Editor's Letter
24
Laugh Track
Comic Dana Goldberg gives us her unique
and humorous spin on her plans for the
holidays.
This Is What a Lesbian Looks Like
Out in Front
Lesbofile
The Two of Us
Our monthly profile of lesbian couples
who live, love and work together.
Letters
Contributors
DECEMBER
2012
28
Politics
The holidays often mean emptying our
wallets, but are we spending too much
on things that are not worth giving?
By Victoria A. Brownworth
Lipstick & Dipstick
Scene
Stars
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Curvatures
Everyone loves to pop a cork of
something special on New Year's
Eve. Here are our picks for the
perfect celebration libation. Plus,
stylish and lesbo-sexy calendars
for 2013. Spoiler alert: This year
is going to be a hot one!
72
74
76
Music: Harmonizing folk-rock band
>:,,:
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Girlyman shares their story of love, music
and mortality.
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Books: Poet Akinfe Fatou uses the power
of words to explore the body. Plus, two new
books probe the dark side of relationships.
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The Queer Kardashian
Just when you thought you'd seen every last
Kardashian grace the cover of your gossip rag,
a web series created by filmmaker Ryan Logan
emerges, following the misadventures of the
so-called long-lost lezzie sister: Kam Kardashian.
e
Inaugural Lesbro
Introducing a new feature series, "Lesbros We Love;'
and our very first lesbro: Arizona teen, anti-bullying
and LGBT student safety advocate Caleb Laieski.
e
Chatting up Hesta Prynn
Curve music bloggers Melany Joy Beck and
Janelle Sorenson never miss a chance to catch up
with this fiery-haired and sexually-fluid musician
who spills the tea on her new EP We Could Fall in
Love and touring as a DJ for the Chippendales
(yes, those Chippendales).
e
Travelling Troubador
Meet Amy Andrews, the singer-songwriter and
fierce feminist who has hit the road, traveling
across the United States and Toronto, Ontario,
playing at feminist bookstores and centers to
raise money and awareness about the need for
safe, supportive and queer-friendly spaces.
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Lesbian Film Evolution
As founder and CEO of BuskFilms, Andrea Wing
stands at the helm of a video-on-demand website that
houses the very best of the independent queer film
circuit, a revolutionary step in the way LGBT artists
share their stories with the world.
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BACARDI.
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LETTERS
From Curve's
Facebook Wall
k-
-
TH~~
GENERATION
OF LESBIAN
ROCKSTAR
HASARRIVED
I
~e,
LESBIAN
VETERANS
SPEAK
OUT
Curve is For Real Women
I am a straight, 29,year,old female and I've
been a subscriber for almost three years now.
I tell anyone I meet how wonderful your
publication is. I believe we are all created
equal and loved by the same God, so I am
interested in your articles and the fight for
rights. More so, your magazine highlights
real women. Not the crap of how to change
ourselves, appease others and the silly diets
and "sex tips" of regular women's publica,
tions. Each month, you show me strong,
professional women who are chasing their
dreams and breaking barriers. curve is the
ultimate women's empowerment magazine
and I thank you for that!
-Paula Kovac, Massillon, Ohio
Monthly Magic
honesty and clarity with which she shared
her experience. I was raped in college by a
male friend of mine. This was a guy I liked
as a friend. I never reported it. What's more,
I graduated with him, and no one knew
about our "situation:' I have spent 15 years
dealing with the fallout of that experience.
Yes, the war on women is real. It happens
on a personal level and it happens on a politi,
cal level. As women, we are still socialized
to not "rock the boat" when it comes to the
power of men. While he takes his autonomy
for granted, and society rewards him for his
ability to take what he wants, I have strug,
gled to find mine, and society encourages
me to not want to take. Even women who
have not been raped live with this inequal,
ity. The war on women can manifest itself
in extreme ways, such as rape, and in much
more subtle ways, like expecting women to
defer to men, to trust their choices, to allow
to put them in "binders:' Women should
not be forced to do anything by men against
their will, ever.
-Name and address withheld.
Cinematic Seduction
As a self,confessed cinephile, I thoroughly
enjoyed your piece on movie night in with
food and beverage pairings, but I'd like to
add the best lesbian movie of all time fea,
turing the luscious (and yet non,lesbian)
Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilley-Bound.
Here's what I would recommend to honor
its running,from,the,mob
storyline: spicy
Italian,American meatballs with a soft and
fruity Sangiovese.
-Kelly E. Harris, New York
To all at curve: You slay me with every issue!
I loved Kiyomi and all the other yummy
stuff inside [Vol. 22#9). I subscribe to Elle
and Harper's Bazaar and I have to say, it's
you I really look forward to in my mailbox
each month. You speak to me, not at me.
You understand what I need, not try to sell
me things I'm not sure I want. My baby's in
the military and your article ['i\sking and
Telling"] meant so much to me. Hugs.
-Gaby Pelirao, via email.
Sendlettersto: curve magazine
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I lovereadingcurve, andseeingthe
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Thank you to Victoria A. Brown worth for her
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As a survivor of rape I was very moved by the
6
Thecoveris fabulous!Kiyomiis a
beautifullydiverselesbianandlooks
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CONTRIBUTORS
GillianKendallhas written more travel features for curve
than for any other publication. After temporarily breaking
up with her long~time partner in May 2011, she divided
her time between the U.S. and the UK., while 99 percent
of her possessions and a sizable chunk of her heart remain
in Melbourne, Australia. Recently, she bought a tiny
house in Florida. Co~author of How I Became a Human
Being, author of the New York Times notable book of the
year Mr. Ding's Chicken Feet, and editor of Something to
Declare: Good Lesbian Travel Writing, she loves going
to new places, revisiting old ones and writing about her
experiences. This month she visits Manchester. You can
visit her at gilliankendall.org.
CherylMazakhas been photographing for the past decade.
Her work has appeared in a variety of publications
including many magazines, covers, CDs, marketing and
PR, and educational books on photography. She is a pro
at getting into the heart of her subjects to capture their
essence in her lens and has photographed everyone from
the L Word cast to one of her favorite heroes, Billie Jean
King. She's trying out the other side of the lens at the
moment by participating in a Canadian reality show, Are
You Sweet Enough, with three other competitors running
a gauntlet of culinary, marketing and business~related
competitions and vying for an apprenticeship with French
chocolatier, Marc Forrat.
Contributing editor SherylKayhas been scouring the planet
for the past six years searching for awe~inspiring stories of
remarkable community activists and sharing them in her
column, Out in Front. Most recently, Kay headed south
to San Jose, Costa Rica to connect with the women who
have been leading the LGBT civil rights movement there.
"Yes, we still have many rivers to cross here;' Kay says,
"but until you've walked a mile in the shoes of a lesbian
in a developing country, it's hard to imagine how many
blessings you have right here in America:' Kay says the
world is really just one big village, and hopes that by
connecting lesbians across borders, the inner workings of
each movement will serve as a beacon of inspiration and
innovation for others.
LaurenBarkumeis an American freelance photographer
based in Johannesburg, South Africa after her move
from Connecticut in 2009 to work as a program manager
at the Aid to Artisans South Africa Trust. In 2005 she
graduated from the University of Virginia, majoring in
Anthropology with a minor in Studio Art. Her work in
international development has allowed her to travel to
some of the poorest areas in South Africa and her role
as a trainer has allowed her to meet a variety of people
from all walks of life, granting her access to photograph
intimate portraits of rural life across Africa-this month
her subject is roller derby. Barkume won third place in
the 2010 Africa Photographic Awards Youth Culture
category which is entered by thousands of photographers.
She has been published in The Yale Journal of Human
Rights, CNN, BBC News Online and is a contributing
photographer to Getty Images. ■
December 2012
I7
EDITOR'S
NOTE
S
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
by birth, although I have made the United States my
home for the last seven years. For me, one of the true
joys of living in New York City has been the holidays-and the
weather at that time of year. Yes, that's right: I haven't yet tired
of the snow dumps that shut down public transportation,
the bare, lifeless trees, the icy and treacherous pavements, the
frozen eyelashes and chattering teeth. I love all of it.
Growing up in Australia, I was used to celebrating
Christmas Day in 110-degree heat. My mother often insisted
on baking a leg of lamb, which took the temperature of the
house even higher, and as the air outside throbbed and the
cicadas droned on and the smell of wildfire smoke hung in the air, we sat down
to Christmas dinner: meat with gravy,
roasted potatoes and a very heavy dessert,
such as plum pudding ( served warm, of
course). After dinner, we would retire to
the lounge and watch Her Majesty Queen
Elizabeth give her Christmas message to
the Commonwealth on TV. That distant
monarch dictating our customs in a colonial environment and a climate that was
completely inappropriate-even
the kidfriendly yuletide iconography of Santa in
his gloves, boots and woolen suit-it
all
seemed ridiculous to me.
I guess what I am trying to say is that
even though I am a person of white, AngloSaxon, Protestant descent, I felt odd, out
of place and excluded at this time of year.
And once I grew up to be gay, those feelings increased. It's such a relief now to be
an independent adult, to create my own holiday customsand to experience them in the "correct" context. But in a way,
I am glad that I knew the feeling of not fitting in, even at a
time of year considered universally understood. That feeling
creates extraordinary empathy for others.
Many of us feel out of place during the holidays, so I hope
this issue of curve adds some lesbian cheer to the season.
We have our biggest Budget Gift Guide ever, featuring presents for you and yours, some as inexpensive as $5. And we
have the indispensable advice of Lipstick and Dipstick, the
wisecracking wisdom of Dana Goldberg, the legend that is
Lily Tomlin and lots more to keep you entertained.
So, wherever you are, enjoy the holidays in the way that
feels right to you.
HAPPY
-If~/
~~,_.
Merryn
Editor-i
merryn@curvemag.com
s I curve
LESBIAN
MAGAZINE
OME
OFYOU
might be aware by now that I am Australian
DECEMBER
2012
I
VOLUME 22 NUMBER
10
Publisher Silke Bader
Founding Publisher Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
Editor in Chief Merryn Johns
Managing Editor Rachel Shatto
Book Review Editor Rachel Pepper
Copy Editor Katherine Wright
Contributing Editors Victoria A. Brownworth, Gina Daggett,
Jillian Eugenios, Sheryl Kay, Stephanie Schroeder
Editorial Assistants Adam Brinklow, Kim Hoffman
OPERATIONS
Director of Operations Laura McConnell
ADVERTISING
East Coast Sales
Robin Perron (910) 795-0907, robin@curvemag.com
National Sales
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemag.com
Business Development
Sallyanne Monti (510) 545-4986, sallyanne@curvemag.com
ART/PRODUCTION
Art Director Stefanie Liang
Production Artist Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING
WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Adam L. Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin,
Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Traci Dinwiddie, Maria De La 0,
Jill Goldstein, Lisa Gunther, Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall,
Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey,
Jess McAvoy, Ariel Messman-Rucker, Emelina Minero,
Laurie K. Schenden, Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson,
Allison Steinberg, Stella & Lucy, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull,
Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce, Tina Vasquez, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING
ILLUSTRATORS
& PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Erica Beckman, Meagan Cignoli, JD Disalvatore,
Sophia Hantzes, Syd London, Cheryl Mazak, Maggie Parker,
Leslie Van Stelten
PO Box 467
New York, NY 10034
Phone (415) 871-0569 Fax (510) 380-7487
Advertising Sales (415) 692-5420
Subscription Inquiries (800) 705-0070 (toll-tree in us only)
(818) 286-31 02 (outside US)
Advertising Email advertising@curvemag.com
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Letters to the Editor Email letters@curvemag.com
Volume 22 Issue 10 Curve (ISSN 1087 -867X) is published monthly (except for bimonthly
January/February and July/August) by Avalon Media, LLC, PO Box 467, New York NY
10034. Subscription price: $5g_90/year, $59.90 Canadian (U.S. funds only) and $89.95
international (U.S. funds only). Returned checks will be assessed a $25 surcharge. Periodicals
postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additional mailing offices (USPS 0010-355).
Contents of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part,
without written permission from the publisher. Publication of the name or photograph of any
persons or organizations appearing, advertising or listing in Curve may not be taken as an
indication of the sexual orientation of that individual or group unless specifically stated. Curve
welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE for response.
Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions cannot be
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Queer Cork Poppers
Ring in the New Year with these pocket-friendly beverages.
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Thisdryyetfruit-forwardtraditionalstylebubblyis madefrom
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Estatebottledandmadefrom100
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aperitifwhichalso
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ThislightgoldItaliansparkleris an
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Giveyourbubblya kickwithsweet
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Yougeta lot of bubblesfor your
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Jaillanceis the numberoneFrench
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December 2012
I 11
CURVATURES
365 Days of Sexy
Lesbian-themed calendars promise that 2013 is going to be a hot one. By Kim Hoffman
The Mayans may have predicted the world would end this
month, but they didn't know about these affirmative, playful
and sexy lesbian-centric calendars that remind us that not
only is 2013 on the way, it's going to be lucky and lesbo-sexy.
Here's to a happy new year, and cheers to the bold-minded
women behind our favorite month-to-month keepsakes.
Pin-UpEssential
Brought to you by Girlfriends Films, winners of AVN's
Best All-Girl Series award for 5 consecutive years, the
Pin-UpGirlscalendar features lesbian adult stars dressed in
vintage lingerie. Garters, panties and bustiers-oh,
my!
(girlfriends.films.com/
pinup_calendar)
FamilyMatters
With a queer artist like Elisha Lim at the helm, TheComfort
of QueerFamilyWisdomis a must-have for your upcoming
year, complete with Lim's inimitable illustrations, loud and
proud reminders and loving advice. (elishalim.etsy.com)
.
oil>
hu•
Sir
"'
StraddleThis
The Autostraddle
gals are back and this time they take it to
the water with one playful, hot-commodity beach photozine calendar. Photographer Robin Roemer and stylist and
co-producer Sara Medd capture all that it means to be free
and extraordinary. We suggest you get your hands on it, stat.
(autostraddle.com)
NoirSexy
Photographer Cristina de la Maderas alluring L-calendar
captures the gentleness of lady couples and friends
through a series of stunning black and white photos.
(cristinadelamadera.com)
PrettyButch
If you're looking for some tough-girl eye candy, It's AllButch
has a 12-month spread thanks to photographer Debbie
Boud with a diverse group of dykes hard at work and play.
(itsallbutch.com)
LocalLez
The girl-scene in Pittsburgh is so smokin', LezDoIt Pittsburgh
put together their first-ever calendar. A Beautiful Year,
photographed by Mara Rago, is a tribute to the gay women
in the community. (lezdoitpgh.com/the-calendar)■
12
I curve
\ THEL-CALENDAR
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December 2012
I 13
CURVATURES
the rundown
The Vaticanhas condemned the symbolic marriage of Ida and Mariagrazia, a lesbian
couple in Bologna,Italy.The women were married by local councilor SergioLo Giudice
who is the former president of the Italian LGBT organization Arcigay.The couple mar~
ried at Hospice Seragnoli, a hospital for the terminally ill where Mariagrazia is a patient.
Same~sex marriage is not legal in Italy... KristeneChapa,the 18~year~old Texaslesbian
who was shot in the head in June has spoken out about her own recovery, and the death
of her girlfriend, 19~year~old MollieJudithOlginwho was shot and killed in the same
attack. Chapa, who remains in a rehabilitation center wrote on Facebook, "Today marks 3
months since my accident. I've learned life is so fragile and cherish the people you have in
your life[,] love them[,] don't take things for granted:' Chapa also indicated that she has a
new girlfriend, saying,"! was heartbroken but I'm not gonna be single for the rest of my life... she's in my heart
dt':::;::
~
IIEN'I
but I needed something else. I wanted a girl to be there for me and understand what I'm going through:' Tue
police investigation into the attack remains open ... TereskaTorres,
a French writer who is credited with writ~
ing America's first lesbian pulp novel, died in Paris at the age of 92. Torres, who wrote 20 books, remains
rs
best known for Women's
Barracks,
which was published in the United States in 1950. The book provided
readers with a fictionalized account of Torres' wartime service with the women's division of the Free
French forces and includes sexual scenes between the women. The paperback has sold four million copies
in the United States, was translated into more than a dozen languages, and was reprinted in 2005 by
Feminist
Press... Police in DavaoCity,Philippines
claim that MarivicLiloc,a 22~year~old lesbian, snapped
after her girlfriend broke up with her. Lilac, who is a criminology student, is accused of stabbing
to death three of her relatives and
Hot Tee of the Month
wounding two additional children.
"We learned that Marivic was depressed because
her girlfriend broke up with her;' reports a senior police
officer. The case is currently under investigation ... One of
HongKong's
richest men, CecilChaoSze-tsung,
made a public
offer of $65 million to any man who can make his daughter
straight. The property and shipping tycoon has promised the
money to any man who can convince his daughter GigiChao,
an out lesbian, to walk down the aisle. Chao is believed to
have married her long~term girlfriend SeanEavat a private
ceremony in France. About her father's financial offer she
told the press, "Sometimes people just refuse to accept what
they are told ... he has an interesting interpretation of me:'
[Sassafras
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OUTINFRONT
Changing
Norms
On the page and in the
boardroom, these women are
creating change.
By Sheryl Kay
A Mighty Pen
As a child, Lesh~a
Newmanwas
often bullied: for being fat, for
having frizzy hair, for wearing
glasses. Decades later, she can
still recall the cruelty; she says
it helped make her the person
she is today. "It's a big part of
the reason I fight-not
for
tolerance of those who might
be considered 'different; but
for acceptance, and beyond that, respect, and
beyond that, celebration;' Newman says.
While some fight in legal arenas or political
spheres, Newman is best known as an awardwinning writer and public speaker. In a career
spanning 25 years, she's broken all sorts of
barriers with her LGBT-themed
works,
especially the children's book Heather Has
Two Mommies, published in 1989. Truly the
first of its kind, the book quickly sent social
conservatives over the edge. It began to disappear from libraries, and politicians called for
its immediate ban (Jesse Helms bashed the
story from the floor of the U.S Senate). "By
writing books about lesbians, and children of
lesbians, I aim first of all to tell a story, and
second to show people that we're here, we're
queer and we matter," Newman says. "My
z writing is my activism:'
~:J
In 1998, Newman was invite d to be
~
the keynote speaker at the University of
(.)
~ Wyoming's Gay Awareness Week. Just before
; she was scheduled to fly to Laramie, the head
:.::
of the school's LGBT Association called
w
a:
to
tell her what had happened to his friend
~
~ Matthew Shepard. Visiting the school and
meeting Shepard's friends and teachers was
~ a profound experience for Newman. It would
w
6 be more than a decade before she could write
N
:;;; about it. And write she did, in the recently
~
<{
published October Mourning: A Song for
i
~
Matthew Shepard,a book
that explores the impact
of Shepard's murder in a
series of 68 poems.
"My hope;' Newman says, "is that the book
honors Matt's legacy and inspires those who
read it to replace hatred with compassion,
acceptance and love:'
Write on, Leslea.
Queering Corporations
The initial C in Dr.YvetteC. Burton's
name
might well stand for "change;' because she has
spent most of her professional life assessing,
defining and building new paradigms of
corporate transformation.
Her passion for understanding people and
organizations goes way back. "My grandmother always says, 'No one likes change but
a wet baby;" Burton explains. "Even when it's
obvious that a change is for the better, people
resist change:'
According to Burton, sometimes progress begins in the boardroom. Actions like
the corporate adoption of domestic partner
benefits, giving same-sex spouses and partners health insurance and life insurance, has
helped to advance LGBT policy within the
government sector, too.
Burton also credits the competition for
critical talent among corporations and the
increased visibility of corporate practices
as major factors in the steady increase in
LGBT-supportive corporations. For more
than a decade she put this to good use at
IBM, where she has achieved numerous
milestones, including the creation and management of a global business-development
organization within the company-one
that
has generated more than $200 million in
new business through strategy advisement
on diversity solutions. "Person-by-person,
company-by-company, and sector-by-sector,
LGBT inclusion will continue to become
the norm and a key market differentiator;'
says Burton, who today is a Human Capital
Management consultant in private practice.
So how does a company make strides in
the right direction:' According to Burton
the first step in the "coming out" process is
for executives to understand the costs and
negative consequences of their exclusionary
practices. Once that perspective has been
embraced, the company must hold educational
and skills-building sessions designed to make
executives aware of the benefits in creating a
work environment where all employees can
bring their "whole self" to the office. Then
the leadership needs to implement workplace
policies that reflect a culture of inclusion.
In the end, beyond being willing to make
changes, Burton says people and companies
must be prepared for transformation. "I was
lucky enough to become deeply involved
with numerous companies that were going
through the process of choosing and valuing
diversity;' she says. "This has led to opportunities for me to contribute to the progress
of our movement. I was prepared, and I was
more than willing:' ■
December 2012
I 17
LESBOFILE
The A-List of the L-List High profilecelesbiansmake a splash
this month. By Jocelyn Voo
Bunny Love
Before parenting, there was
Playboy-and Playmate-turneddishes allabout
mom JennyMcCarthy
her former life, including lesbian orgies,
in her new memoir. The Surprisehost opens
up about one night in particular, where she
and her fellow playmates engaged in an
ecstasy-and-Vicodin-fueled night of sex.
"It was incredibly intense;' she says of
the drugs, "so much so that we all began to
express love for one another by making out
with each other:'
While we applaud the fact that the mom
of one now spends more time devoted to
autism activism and environmental causes
than pill-pushing, let us reflect for a moment
on the fact that blonde bombshell McCarthy
once humped like with Bunnies.
assets she originally
brought into the relationship. Translation:
Price ain't no gold digger.
The 1 Percent
Jasika Nicolewants to talk role-playing.
(No, not that role-playing.) The Fringeactor,
who's Los Angeles-bound with her partner
after the show ends, is the minority in
Hollywood, being both African-American
and an out lesbian. And though her talent
shows through, Nicole admits it's not an
even keel when it comes to casting.
Speaking on how most onscreen roles
call for white female characters unless
explicitly stated otherwise, she notes, "I
think that is a misconception that to go in
a different direction you have to rewrite
your character ... Everybody's still looking
I Ain't Sayin' She's a Gold Digger
for love. Everybody's still trying to find their
Ladies, get your handkerchiefs out: k.d.lang way in the world. Those things are human
and JamiePrice-her wife of two yearsqualities, not necessarily race-specific qualihave ended their domestic partnership.
ties. And they're certainly not gender-specific
According to TMZ, the Grammy-studded
qualities or sexuality quality either:'
singer filed paperwork earlier this year,
"It's so complicated because I'd love to
and both lang and Price waived the right
play a queer woman on a television show
to support, meaning that both women
but that's only because I think we need
have agreed to leave with the financial
to see more queer women on television,
18
I curve
not because it's the only thing I can play,
certainly;' she adds.
Art Imitating Life
WandaSykes,EllenDeGeneres,
Beyonce-we
all have our celeb role models. And then
there's Lindsay Lohan who-surpriseturns out to actually be the inspiration for
L Word character NikiStevens.Kate French
revealed on Twitter that her character
was in fact influenced by director Angela
Robinson's time spent with the redheaded
actress (pre-downward spiral, of course).
Which, as AfterEllen points out, brings up
the question: Is Jenny Schecter supposed to
be Sam Ronson?
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Best New Movie of the Year
It was only a matter of time. Satire king
Sacha BaronCohen,of Borat and Bruno
fame, is now embarking on a new cinematic
project, tentatively tided TheLesbian.Based
on the real story of Hong Kong billionaire
Cecil Chao's multi-million dollar offer for
any man who manages to woo his lesbian
daughter into marriage, the film positions
Cohen as both producer and lead actor
( of course). Us? We'll be the first in line
at the theater. ■
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She Said
December 2012
I 19
Holiday Family Drama This year, declare that love is love
and gender doesn't matter. By Lipstick and Dipstick
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: My father continues to call my wife
a pervert, doesn't allow us in his home together and says
terrible things about the LGBT community. Why do I still talk
welcome back into your life when he recognizes what is important. Until then, you
girls should decorate your own "fur" tree
with new balls, and have a happier holiday
without daddy!
to him? Well, he's my dad and my only parent. I know I can't
change him, but I thought he might slowly come to terms with
the idea that my wife and I are a couple. The holidays are
making this especially difficult. I feel as if I'm being forced to
choose here and it breaks my heart. - Bad Santa
Dipstick:
If the Mayans are right, we'll all be
dead by Christmas. How do you want to live
the last days of your life-cowering to your
bigoted father, or standing up for yourself,
your community and your love? It's time to
sit the old man down and tell him that he
doesn't have to agree with your life choices,
but he does need to show your friends,
and you, some respect. Let him know
that he's forcing you to choose, yet he's
the one who has the most to lose. The
jingle ball is then in his court.
Lipstick:
Since I'm more of an apocaloptimist, I'd ask you not how you
want to live your last days, but how
you want to live all your days. By being
docile, you're giving your dad permission to treat you like a steaming heap
of reindeer poop. You have the power
to change that. Even though your dad's
the only parent you've got, you've got
to stand up for yourself! Given your
situation, I thought it was fitting to
bring my parental unit into the conversation. Mama, what say you:'
Lipstick'sMama: What's up, Santa
Girl:' You're not bad-you
are your
father's greatest gift! He was blessed to
be able to give you life. Now, he should
let you live it the way you choose. A
20
I curve
parent's love should be unconditional. It
should never be affected by who a child
loves. In a perfect world, your dad should
just be happy that you've found someone. If he can't be respectful of your choice,
you need to live your own life. Love is love.
Gender doesn't matter. Let him know he is
Lipstick:
See where all my good sense comes
from:' Good Santa, decide right now that
you deserve more. If you can't find the
strength to do it for yourself-you've probably been dealing with his belittling and
abuse your whole life-do it for your wife!
She'll respect you a hell of lot more if you
stand up to your owr. Fred Phelps Ebenezer
Scrooge this Christmas.
DearLipstickand Dipstick:My partner,Lori,
and I havebeentogether
forsevenyears.She
hasfourkids.Everyholiday,Loriwantsto be
onherownwithherkids.I havealwaysoffered
to havethemcometo myfamilyget-togethers.
I thinkthey may havegoneto one.
Justrecently,Loritold me she was
onceagainhavingher childrenover
on Christmas
Day.I said,"Whynot
comewith me to my sister's?"She
said,"Foronething,theydon'tknow
them."I responded,
"I wonderwhy?"
Shegotmadandhasn'ttalkedto me
since.I lefthera phonemessage
saying,"I knowmy familyisn'tperfect,
andsometimes
I don'tlikethem,but
theyaremyfamily.If youarenothappywithme,orwhereyou'reat,maybe
youshouldfinda placeof yourown."
She'sbeensleepingon the coucha
lot.Because
of mybusyworkschedule,wedon'tgettospenda lotoftime
together.
I'mtryinghardto makea go
ofit,andinthiseconomy
it'snoteasy.
WhatshouldI do?-HomeAloneTwo
Dipstick:Really:' It's been seven
years and you haven't worked this
out yet:' Don't let this linger on or it
will be the grandkids you're fighting
ex:
w
:,,:'.
ex:
ct
w
ci
CJ
<(
~
over! As you already know, people have a
lot of hopes and expectations, and a lot of
nostalgia tied in with the holiday season.
Single moms especially feel pulled in many
directions, and want to create holiday tra,
ditions that will be lasting memories for
their children. Lori might just cherish the
fleeting childhood moments she has with
her kids at Christmas and doesn't want
to change that. Why don't you offer a
compromise-she could spend Christmas
Day with her children and Christmas Eve
with your family? Or Christmas morning
with the kids and then dinner with your
sister? Instead of lashing out at her with
a passive,aggressive retort, sit down and
You girlsshould
decorateyour
own "fur"treewith
new ballsand
have a happier
holidaywithout
daddy!
have a conversation about what the holi,
days mean to you both, what you each
wants out of the experience and how you
can best move forward as a couple to make
that happen.
Lipstick:
They don't want to go to your sis,
ter's house because it's boring, and Lori's
children will lose that Christmas sparkle
in their eye. This comes down to your
partner putting her kids first, which is no
crime. In fact, it's the best way to be a mom,
especially at the holidays. Aren't they enti,
tled to a little childhood Christmas magic,
before it gets taken away by mall parking
road rage, credit card bills and trying to get
the perfect scald on the turkey? That said,
I'm not discounting your happiness. You,
too, deserve some Christmas magic. You
and Lori both need to focus on becoming
a family. It sounds like you have compart,
mentalized lives and that is what's broken
here. The push and pull you are enduring
around the holidays is normal. What's not
is your inability to manage it all, and one
of you ending up on the couch. It's time
for you both to start hearing each other,
meeting in the middle and, most impor,
tantly, creating your own traditions. They
can be just as beautiful-if
not more
amazing-than
what you both are trying
to hold on to without each other. Seven
years is a long time. Are you in this or not?
Are you a family or not? These are impor,
tant answers to find.
This Christmas, heed some advice
from the fella whose birthday you're eel,
ebrating and come together from a selfless
place of love.
DearLipstickandDipstick:
I've beenseeing
Monicafor almostfouryears.Recently,
she
movedawayfora monthandcamebackwith
a boyfriend.
Monicasaysshelovesme and
she'sonlywith himbecausehe hasmoney
andhe'spayingforherphone.DoI justlet it
gobecause
I lovehersomuch,orshouldI cut
the line?Thereare plentyof fishin the sea
anyway,right?-A FishCalledWanda
Lipstick:
Umm, so, yeah-can you do me a
favor, Wanda? Can you reread your ques,
tion for me? Go ahead. I'll wait ...
0 K, now tell me this: Are you asking
yourself the same thing I am-what the
fuck? Even if the money,and,phone thing
is the truth: WTF? WTF all around. It's
raining WTFs on you right now. Shake
your head, take a hard look at where you're
at in life and swim into the current without
this bottom feeder.
Dipstick:This gives me a great idea for a
new reality TV show: Go/diggersof New
Jersey.I'm sure we can find plenty of girls
to compete against Monica in extreme
challenges such as the Diamond Earring
Snatch, the Stripper Pole Poker Play,
Off and the Mink Stole Girlfriend Steal.
Winners get their choice of a ride on a
yacht with a politician or a night in an
NBA player's suite. Monica sounds like a
jewel. You'd be a fool to let this one go. See
if the new boyfriend can add you to his
phone plan (kidding). ■
facebook.com/lotlrescue
THETWOOFUS
Bridget and Karman
The funny lady and her editor wife open up. By Jillian Eugenics
Comic Bridget McManus and her wife Karman Kregloe aren't shy
about working together. The pair both work at AfterEllen.comMcManus as a columnist, Kregloe as the editor~in~chief-and
the happy couple recently starred in McManus' mockumentary
McManusland, which is loosely based on the life Kregloe and
McManus share with their dogs. Here's how they keep each other
inspired, while working hard and laughing along the way.
How they met
Bridget:The moment I saw Karman the entire room faded away
and I remember thinking, "This is the most beautiful woman I've
ever seen:' We were at The Comedy Store [in Los Angeles] so I
had to go on stage and perform my stand~up routine, and I remem~
ber thinking, "She's so cool and she's not going to think I'm funny:'
I stood onstage with the microphone shaking in my hand thinking,
"I just met my future wife:' And I had.
Karman:When I first met Bridget I thought she was stunningly
beautiful, very charming and a great listener. Then I watched
her perform and thought she was hilarious too. As she talked
about being a tormented fat kid, I thought, Ah, this is why such
a pretty girl also has such a great personality-she
grew up as
the underdog!
On working well together
Karman:I think we genuinely appreciate each other's abilities and
always want the greatest good for one another. I know Bridget
would do anything to help me, and I would do anything for her
too. Even if we weren't married and were just friends, we would
still be each other's biggest fans.
Bridget:I'm Karman's biggest cheerleader. I even have a custom~
made cheerleading uniform with Karman's name written across
the chest. Karman has such great ideas that I truly can't wait to
see the magic that she creates. And as a creative person mysel£ I
feel very blessed that every time I have an idea she always tells me
to go for it.
On inspiring each other
Karman:Bridget is a 'Just do it" kind of person. If she wants to
create something or do something she immediately gets the ball
rolling. As a procrastinator, I find that incredibly inspiring.
Bridget:
Karman is an endless adventurer. If there is something she
wants to know or do she dives right into exploring. I'm perfectly
content watching a Harry Potter movie on a Saturday afternoon
but Karman is a "get up and enjoy life" person. She inspires me to
get out of my pajamas.
22
I curve
On how their mockumentary mirrors their lives
Karman:Our devotion to and obsession with our animal friends,
Taffy, Shelby and Francine, is 100 percent accurate. All of the other
stuff is really just an amplified version of our lives-ways to just
make fun of ourselves and make ourselves laugh. I'm not dismissive
of Bridget at all, and Bridget is not a friendless megalomaniac.
How they keep each other laughing
Karman:Bridget makes me laugh many times a day. Some of the
crazy shit that comes out of her mouth is really astounding. My
mother always told me that I needed constant entertainment, so
it's a good thing that I married someone who provides just that.
She will give me spontaneous interpretative dance performances
and fashion throwaway lines of conversation into entire songs. It's
like living in a musical, only not annoying. We have a lot of fun.
Bridget:
Karman is funny all of the time. She says the most shocking
things and she does really stellar celebrity impressions. Her Liza
Minnelli is right on the money. (bridgetmcmanus.com) ■
to CURVE Magazine
LAUGH
TRACK
Holiday Hilarity
Jewish comic Dana Goldberg lets fly at holiday traditions and shares a few of her own.
By Merryn Johns
As one of the brightest lights in a stellar lesbian comedy land~
scape, Dana Goldberg has been making us laugh at some of the
best~known venues and lesbian events across the nation. Hot and
hilarious, Goldberg is a thinking woman's comic who mines her
background for wit and wisdom. And we love her so much that we
voted her one of the Top 5 Funniest Lesbians in America.
Doyouputupa treeor areyoustrictlya Hanukkahbushkindof gal?
I do enjoy a nicely trimmed Hanukkah bush. I mean, who doesn't?
Truth be told, I love this time of the year. There's something very
"cozy" about it no matter what your denomination-if
you can
escape the commercialism of the season. I grew up in New Mexico
so my Christmas experience with friends often consisted of
homemade tamales, posole with red chile, green chile stew and
biscochitos. I do love the Hanukkah celebration and making
latkes. I like changing tradition a bit and throwing in some sweet
potatoes and green chile. I do get into the Christmas season with
my girlfriend. I hang lights, put up a tree, get a mistletoe ... belt.
It's the gift that keeps on giving. I pride myself on being a good
stocking stuffer. All of this sounded much less dirty in my head,
by the way.
Whatfaithisyourgirlfriend?
When I told my mother I was dating a Catholic Puerto Rican she
said, "Have you learned the Rosary?" I said, "No, but I know the
Serenity Prayer by heart:' You can imagine how much guilt exists
in our household. As I get older, I realize it's the same guilt with a
different layaway plan-either you pay now or you pay later. We
spent our first holiday season together last year and Hanukkah
happened to overlap with Christmas. She was absolutely perfect:
She put up a little Christmas tree and then got eight tiny Hanukkah
boxes in the shape of Chinese takeout boxes, and she hid gifts
around her place for me to find. We lit the Menorah together
and I tried to teach her the Baruch atah Adonai, which usually
ended on her part when "ha'olam" turned into haloumi. I spent last
Christmas with her family which was wonderful. They love their
pork, so that creates entirely different issues. I'm not kosher, so I
get to enjoy it. I like to say I'mJew~ish.
DoJewsreallygoto a casinoor Chineserestaurantat Christmas?
Besides the fact that Chinese restaurants are some of the only
places open on Christmas, they also benefit from the fact that most
Jews just can't say no to a buffet. I've always been confused about
Jewish people going to a casino on Christmas. We hate losing
money! Christmas morning is always very peaceful for me. I enjoy
having sex in front of the fire, singing"O Come All Ye Faithful:' I'm
Jewish, honey, I don't get a"Silent Night:' I love Christmas morning.
The streets are quiet, and depending on where I celebrate it, there
could be snow on the ground. Since I've been in L.A. for the last
three years, I haven't exactly had a white Christmas. Snow means
something totally different in Beverly Hills.
Howdoyoufeelaboutthe ubiquitous
holidayalbums?
The fact that they start playing Christmas music the day after
Thanksgiving makes me want to shove dull objects in my ears
repeatedly, but there are some holiday songs I actually enjoy, like a
good caroling of"Winter Wonderland:' One of my favorite songs
is Melissa Etheridge's cover of John Lennon's "Happy Xmas (War
Is Over):' There's just something about it. (I knew I could get
Melissa into one of my answers! My work here is done.)
Whatwouldbe yourideaof a perfectholiday?
My perfect holiday would be about food, wine, friends, family and
being grateful. We would have a table filled with sushi, fresh fruit,
the food from my New Mexico Christmas, crispy pork belly for
my love and her family, a good Greek platter for my mom (latkes are
delicious, but she appreciates a good dolma). I wouldn't completely
get rid of gift giving, it feels nice to give and receive-that sounded
dirtier in my head-but I would have a global name drawing. Each
person picks one person from somewhere in the world and sends
them a gift, postage already paid for. But I wonder if it's possible to
find a gift that brings universal joy. It's clearly not the first season
of Honey Boo Boo. ( danagoldberg.com) ■
SCENE
Island Time
The Sweeties make a splash on Cozumel.
By Cheryl Mazak
The Cozumel Palace Resort on Mexico's most
beautiful island rolled out the red carpet for Sweet,
the eco~friendly lesbian travel brand, Sept.1-8, 2012.
The week was full of fun, friendship and of course,
community service.
The Sweeties deaned up beaches, rescued baby sea
turtles, raised thousands of dollars for cats and dogs
at the Humane Society, adopted 26 dogs and cats, fed
seven hungry local families, and donated over 30,000
items to local disabled children and abused women.
Suzanne Westenhoefer, Fortune Feimster, Jennie
McNulty, Shann Carr and Jackie Monahan tickled
guests' funny bones while actors Cathy DeBuono, Jill
Bennett and Traci Dinwiddie hosted films and other
26
I curve
events. Out TV star Meredith Baxter was among the
350 guests in attendance, which also included animal
activist Natalie Garcia and writer Kristin Flickinger.
(discoversweet.com)■
POLITICS
The Gift of Giving
This year, skip the mall and change a life. By Victoria A. Brownworth
'Tis the season to be giving. It shouldn't
be the only season, but, according to the
Chronicle of Philanthropy, nearly threequarters of charitable donations come in
between Thanksgiving and New Year's. In
August 2012, the Chroniclereported on
how America gives. The study is based on
data from the IRS and provides an interesting and somewhat surprising picture of who
gives and how much.
The people who give the most live in
the red states. For example, in Utah and
Mississippi, the states that ranked highest for giving, the average household gave
more than 7 percent of its annual income
to charity. Yet Mississippi, with a median
income of only $36,919, is actually the
poorest state in the nation, a state where
one in five people lives below the poverty
level. Meanwhile, the average household
in liberal Massachusetts ( and three other
states in the Northeast) gave less than 3
percent, even though Massachusetts has
the sixth-highest median income in the
nation, almost $63,000.
The study found that seven of the eight
states with the highest rates of giving were
in the South and Southwest and all went
for Sen. John McCain in 2008. The seven
states with the lowest rates of giving were
in the Northeast and New England and
went for President Obama in 2008.
In addition, while the wealthy do give
a lot of money to charity, as a percentage
of their income, their contributions are far
less than those of either middle-class or
poor people. One of the most surprising
statistics from the report was how people
with incomes of $75,000 or less gave nearly
twice as much of their overall income as
did people with incomes of more than
$100,000-a
difference of 7.6 percent of
discretionary income versus 4.2 percent.
One of the most shocking statistics from
the report was that people living in wealthy
neighborhoods, where more than 40 percent
of the population has an income of more
2s
I curve
than $200,000, gave the least-less than 3
percent-and some gave nothing.
All of which should make us stop and
think about what giving means to us,
individually and collectively. Where are we
putting our charitable dollars? Although
lesbians and women overall have less
discretionary income than men, if we can
go have that latte at Starbucks, or pay the
ridiculous cover at our local club on the
weekends, we can definitely put some of
that money aside to help make another
woman's life more livable.
Many of us have more than we need.
For example, a study in August from
the Natural Resources Defense Council
(NRDC) reveals that Americans throw
away 20 pounds of food per person per
month, a total of 40 percent of the food
in the nation. Conversely, one in seven
Americans is currently on food stamps and
one in six Americans is "food insecure" that is, unsure where their next meal will
come from. The majority of the food-insecure
Americans are women and children.
Women and girls are also the poorest
people in the world and struggle the most
for everything they have. The oppression
of women and girls is pandemic, reaching
even our own developed nation. The UN sanctioned Gender Inequality Index lists
nine extreme examples of gender bias
that keep women and girls subjugated
in more than half the countries in the
world, and to a degree that makes their
lives almost unbearable.
For me, the question for the holidays is
this: How can we direct our charitable giving to combat these disturbing statistics and
what can we first-world women, with the
freedom to live unrestricted lives, sacrificeeven if it's just that latte or club cover-to
help another woman whose life is restricted
by her gender and whose poverty comes
with being female in the developing world?
One place we might want to start is with
cutting down on our own conspicuous
consumption and redirecting our discretionary income toward creating change.
Look around your house or apartment and
ask yourself if you really need more stuff, or
if your partner, girlfriend or friends really
need more stuff from you at the holidays.
Could we all use a more meaningful
gift at the holidays? What could be more
meaningful than giving the gift of making
another girl's or woman's life better? There
are many ways we can do this. If we are
really set on giving stuff, we can buy fair
trade items made by women. Financial
independence is denied women in over 80
countries worldwide. Being able to achieve
a measure of financial independence
helps not just the individual woman,
but the families and communities in
which that woman is living. When women
achieve financial independence, they are
more able to provide for their children,
according to the UN Commission on the
Status of Women.
Many fair trade sites online focus on
work done by women. The Hunger Site,
Hope for Women, Made by Survivors and
Global Mamas are all sites offering products made by women in fair trade settings.
Heifer International is a charity through
which you can give animals to women in
developing nations. Women who are given
chickens or ducks, for example, can use
the eggs for their families and also sell
them. Goats and other small herd animals
can be used for milk or for wool. Heifer
International is a well-respected charity
that has focused on women for years and
their website shows which animals can be
given and how much it will cost the giver.
If the concept of giving animals upsets
your vegan sensibilities, there are many
other options. One of the most effective is
the micro loan. Micro loans have changed
the lives of women in the developing
world. In 2006, Muhammad Yunus won
the Nobel Peace Prize for establishing the
Grameen Bank and developing the concept
of the micro loan. In giving the Peace Prize,
the Nobel committee commended Yunus
and Grameen for creating an atmosphere
of economic and social development. These
small loans allow women to borrow money
at a very low rate of return and start
businesses from their homes in developing
countries.
One of the best-known Americanbased micro loan charities is Kiva, which
was established in San Francisco in 2005,
but many other micro loan charities are now
operating, so you can choose the one that
inspires you most. With Kiva, however,
loans can be as small as $25, and you can see
who gets the money and for what project.
Of course, charity begins at home, so if
you don't want to go outside the U.S. with
your charitable gift, check out your own
community and what its needs are. For
nearly two decades, I have focused my own
charitable giving on girls, women, and cats.
I have sponsored girls through ChildFund
International.
This charity subsidizes
education and other necessities for girls
and boys under the age of 18 worldwideincluding in the U.S. I also donate to several
American Indian groups that provide food,
heat and educational services for children in
the Southwest.
I started two of my own charities. With
three other lesbians, I cofounded a nonprofit
cat shelter more than a decade ago-the
Foundation for Feline Urban Rescue ( FFUR,
ffur.org)-which
rescues abandoned and
stray cats and kittens, rehabilitates them
and places them in forever homes. To
date, we have placed nearly 700 cats and
kittens and maintain a feral cat colony
as well. In addition to FFUR, last year I
established KITH (Kids in the 'Hood), a
reading, writing and mentoring group for
inner-city girls. This year, for the holidays
we will be giving books to three grades of
children in several underserved schools in
my city.
There are so many options for giving at
the holidays. Choose a charity and make a
donation in your name or in the names of
those on your gift-giving list. Or you can
do what I did and start your own charitable organization to fill needs you think are
not being met in your community. Where I
live, the stray cat situation was terrible- I
knew I had to do something.
If we can go have that
latte at Starbucks... we
can definitelyput some of
that moneyaside to help
make anotherwoman's
lifemore livable.
And when I realized that neither
of the two elementary schools in my
neighborhood had a library, I knew I had
to do something. As a writer and a reader,
I couldn't imagine a childhood without
books. I wanted to help provide that for
kids who had no access to them.
One of the best things about giving is
that all of us can do it. Instead of throwing
out that extra 20 pounds of food a month,
stop overstocking the refrigerator and
start making contributions to a local food
pantry, for those people who suffer from
hunger in this very wealthy nation.
If you don't have discretionary income
to spare in these lean times, volunteer to
mentor a girl through Girls Inc. or another
local or national program.
So perhaps this year, instead of going to
the mall for the people you love, maybe
you could give a gift to a woman or a
girl that will change her life, and wrap
that story up in a nice package and give
it as a present. Could there be a better
way to celebrate Hanukkah, Solstice or
Christmas? Imagine the joy on the faces
of the women and girls you'll help. That
gift truly is priceless and will resonate far
beyond the holidays. ■
December 2012
I 29
A MATTEROF
Opening the closet on
lesbians in the ministry.
a,g)~
J<t.af~
or those of us who were raised in a mainstream religion and
have maintained that spiritual connection, none of the queer-friendly
substitutes (DignityUSA for Catholics, lntegrityUSA for Episcopalians),
no matter how welcoming they are, can replace our fundamental
need to be embraced by our own church. Sitting at Sunday services,
in the familiar surroundings of our faith, is what we want. We also
want to be able to worship as out queers and not feel excluded from
or ostracized by the congregation that we are a spiritual part of.
Just as lesbians and gay men have served covertly in the
military for generations, so too have they served in many
religious denominations-they
just have not served openly.
That, however, has begun to change. As openly queer clergy
are ordained in ministries, and become spiritual leaders in
our own parishes and churches, that sense of exclusion so
many of us have felt will begin to dissipate.
30
I curve
On Sunday, April 15, 2012, Katie
Ricks was ordained at the Church of
Reconciliation in Chapel Hill, N.C. Her
ordination was historic. She is the first
out lesbian to be ordained for ministry
in the Presbyterian Church USA,
one of the country's largest Christian
denominations, after a change in its
constitution.
In 1997, following passage of the Defense of Marriage
Act by Congress, the PC(USA) amended its governing
theological charter to state that marriage was between a man
and a woman and that unmarried persons had to remain
celibate. That ruling effectively barred all LGBT persons
from ordination. But when the Church revised its ruling on
marriage in 2011, removing the explicit DO MA requirement,
Ricks fit the criteria for ordination. (In 2001, a year before she
completed her seminary training, she had a covenant union,
which is a covenant relationship between her partner, Paula
Gibbs, herself and God. She and Gibbs also have a 5~year~old
daughter, Jordan.) Ricks had been serving in a Presbyterian
church since her graduation from the seminary a decade
ago. But her role as an associate in ministry at the Church
of Reconciliation in Chapel Hill, where she was active in
children's and youth ministries, was not the same as being
an ordained minister of the church. Only ordained ministers
of the PC(USA) can officiate at weddings or perform the
sacraments of communion and baptism.
The amendment of the PC(USA) constitution, which
allowed Katie Ricks to be ordained, is one of a handful of
important changes that speak directly to the inclusion and
ordination of LGBT clergy in mainstream U.S. religions.
These changes, however, have caused considerable internal
upheaval, and, in the case of the Anglican/Episcopal Church,
an outright schism. The Judeo~Christian proscription against
homosexuality is longstanding; those who condone it cite a
few lines in Leviticus. Others, however, note that Jesus said
nothing about homosexuality.
When the PC(USA) allowed Ricks to be ordained,
some member churches insisted that they would secede
in protest, and some have. And when the American
Episcopal Church, part of the Anglican Communion,
allowed the ordination of the openly gay priest Gene
Robinson as Bishop of New Hampshire in 2003, it
caused a worldwide split in the church. Secessions did
occur, and Pope Benedict XVI welcomed disenchanted
Episcopalians
and
Anglicans-including
married
Anglican and Episcopal priests ( although not women
priests, it should be noted)-into
the Catholic Church.
There are 80 million members of the Anglican Communion,
making it one of the largest Christian religions. But only 2
million are in the U.S. The conservative phalanx in Africa,
where more than half of all Anglicans live, wields more
power. Which is why when out lesbian Mary Douglas
Glasspool was elected a bishop in the Episcopal Diocese of
Los Angeles in 2009, Rowan Williams, the archbishop of
Canterbury himsel£ leader of the Anglican Communion,
sent out a strongly worded letter about the dire nature of
the Glasspool election.
"The election of Mary Glasspool by the Diocese of
Los Angeles as suffragan bishop~elect raises very serious
questions not just for the Episcopal Church and its place
in the Anglican Communion, but for the Communion as a
whole;' wrote the archbishop.
But after several rounds of voting in the 115th Convention
of the Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles, Glasspool (whose
father was an Episcopal priest and who had herself been
ordained a priest in 1982 in Philadelphia) became the
first open lesbian to be elected a bishop in the Anglican
Communion on December 4, 2009. She was consecrated in
a mass on May 15, 2010.
Glasspool was only the 17th woman and first out lesbian
to become a bishop in the entire Anglican Communion.
Sometimes lesbians are in ministry but are not out to
their congregation. That was the case in 2003 when Rev.
Beth Stroud, an associate pastor for six years at the First
United Methodist Church of Germantown in Philadelphia,
revealed in a sermon to her congregation that she was in
a covenanted (marriage~like) relationship with another
woman. The congregation was largely accepting of Stroud
after her announcement, but her bishop reported her to
the governing body of the church, because homosexuality
is considered a sin. In December 2004 she was defrocked,
then reinstated. But in November 2005, after a trial by the
governing body, she was once again defrocked. Stroud's case
made national headlines and she was the subject of a PBS
documentary. She continues to serve as a lay minister to
the same congregation, stating that she would prefer to "be
honest and a lay minister, than ordained and a liar;' but she
did try to appeal the church's ruling.
The Judea-Christian proscription against
homosexuality is longstanding;
those who condone it cite a few lines
in Leviticu~. ~rs,
ho~ever,:2~~~-;~~~,,,Yb,,,
~ ~~~~,,~The path to acceptance has been rocky for most queers who
have tried to combine an out sexual identity with ordained
ministry, but some have succeeded. There is no more visible
lesbian in ministry than the Rev. Irene Monroe, an ordained
Presbyterian minister and the former pastor of an African
American Presbyterian church. Monroe was given the 2012
Spirit of Justice Award by the Gay & Lesbian Advocates &
Defenders (GLAD) in October.
Perhaps the strongest theological voice in the U.S. for
queer acceptance within mainstream religion, Monroe is a
frequent contributor to the Religion page of the Huffington
Post and an advisor to the HRC in its Religion & Faith
program. Monroe focuses her attention on marginalization
by race, gender and sexual orientation, promoting a "theology
of liberation for all of us:' Monroe has written about how
theology must address marginalization the way it did during
the abolitionist and civil rights movements. "Liberation
theology can only have integrity if it is done in tandem with
a struggling community;' Monroe insists.
But while the GLTF community can celebrate the
ordination of Ricks and Glasspool, Stroud was defrocked
and Monroe no longer has her own congregation, even
though she is a frequent lecturer to other congregations and
a doctoral fellow at Harvard Divinity School.
Regardless of how much lesbians yearn for acceptance
within our own religion, until mainstream theology con~
nects with us as members of the religious community, all
we may be able to do is yearn. Nevertheless, with voices like
Monroe's and activists like Ricks, Glasspool and Stroud,
who have fought to be in ministry within their churches,
the seeds of inclusion have been planted-and Jesus did say
that faith was like a mustard seed. ■
December 2012
I 31
PROGRESS
at the Pulpit
"Here, the last thing I wanted to tell anyone is that I'm a lesbian, but
in Berkeley, the last thing I wanted to tell them is that I'm a Baptist;'
says Rev. Angela Yarber about the contrast between the West Coast,
where she got her education, and Winston-Salem, N.C., where she
preaches at Wake Forest Baptist Church-the
only Baptist church
in America with not one but two lesbian pastors.
In a highly charged social and political environment where many
people, gay and straight, Christian and non-Christian, consider
gay Christians a contradiction in terms, WFBC seems like a world
apart, particularly in North Carolina. But for Yarber, her colleagues
and her church, there are no two worlds to be caught between;
there's just one inclusive world where people can't be easily categorized, and where anyone and everyone can have faith.
Growing up in Atlanta, Yarber never set out to be a minister.
Her calling was supposed to be the stage. "I was really involved in
the performing arts and had actually been accepted to Juilliard;' she
says. Then, at a church youth group event, something changed. "I
fell in love with the idea of Jesus and
love and equality;' she says.
Yarber didn't consider herself a
fundamentalist at heart: "That church
was not affirming at all, not even of
women, let alone lesbians:' But in
the New Testament she discovered a
By Adam L.
message of social justice and equality
Brinklow
that encompassed all her own beliefs.
"Church was everywhere-and
my
experience was always that those
people were hypocrites;' she says."But for the first time I experienced
Jesus and realized that people who wanted to live like Jesus stood
for peace, equality and compassion:'
Yarber kiboshed Juilliard and instead majored in religion. Then she
went on to get a doctorate in art and religion in 2010. She reasoned,
wasn't preaching much like performing, wasn't a pulpit a lot like a
stage and couldn't the church and art both teach people about equality and compassion? Attracted to WFBC after graduation because of
its reputation for inclusiveness and the high profile of its pastor, out
lesbian Susan Parker, Yarber took up the second pastor's position in
2011, forsaking Left Coast Berkeley in favor of Winston-Salem.
Parker, a PFLAG Kaleidoscope Award honoree, came to WFBC
in the '90s and became its pastor in 2004. Growing up in Maiden,
Two Southern
Baptist lesbian
pastors refuse
to pray away
the gay.
~
0
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~
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0
0:
en
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<l'.
N.C., during the '60s and '70s, where, as a typical Baptist, she
attended church "four or five times a week and twice on Sunday;'
Parker knew two things for certain: She loved the church, but
something was coming between it and her. "I knew early on that
something was different, and I wasn't quite sure what to call it;'
she says.
Then one day a young firebrand pastor gave a sermon about the
evils of homosexuality. To hear him tell it, practically everything
wrong with America was on the heads of godless gays. Parker's
heart sank. "He made it very clear that (being gay] was a problem;'
she says. "I was realizing who I was and that I was not this [godless]
person he was describing:'
To Parker, the church had been a second family, but now her
dreams of growing up to be a minister were dashed in two different
ways, because she was a woman and because she was gay. For a time,
she abandoned her ambitions."! gave up on the idea of going into the
ministry until I did some soul~searching in the mid~'90s, when my
dad was dying, and I decided that life is too short. I just happened
to find WFBC:' she says. In 1998, she made national headlines by
performing a commitment ceremony for a lesbian couple there. The
narrow~mindedness that scared Parker away from the church in
her youth was still alive and well in some quarters, but she was not
about to be bullied again.
With Yarber on board, WFBC made more headlines by having
two openly lesbian pastors at the head of a unique, come~as~you~are
Southern Baptist congregation. Both Parker and Yarber contend
that the social climate in North Carolina is not quite as backward
or bigoted as newcomers might assume, but the pastors admit that
many people in the community are willing to tell them exactly what
they think of them. Yarber says she receives hate mail daily, some of
it frightening. "Well, it's not nice to get an email saying you should
be on the other end of a shooting range;' Yarber admits.
But those hateful voices motivate rather than intimidate her. "On
days when I'm sick of it all and get that threatening letter, I look
into that congregation and see people who have been hurt by the
church;' she says. She can't bring herself to leave. "This is the only
family they have;' Yarber says of some gay church members who
have been disowned by their socially conservative relatives. "This is
the only time in their life that they've been told they're loved:'
Of course, some of the WFBC faithful do have high praise for
the church. "I thank God every day for that church;' says lesbian
mom Judy Willard. "To go to a Baptist church and be accepted, it
was the most unreal feeling I had ever had:'
"The preachers at Wake Forest just lift you up so much it's
unreal;' adds Tina, Judy's wife. "Just a simple, lesbian~born couple;'
they have raised four children together and were legally married
in Washington, D.C. They tried attending gay churches but worried
that their kids might feel left out in such an environment. "We
have four children, and not one of them is gay or lesbian;' says
Willard, who wanted a church whose message applied equally to
all her family members. WFBC is not a gay church, simply an
inclusive one. It fit their family makeup.
"Having a female, feminist preacher made a huge difference;'
says Sarah Brown, a teacher who attends WFBC. Brown, a North
Carolina native, became deeply attached to her church and her faith
after surviving cancer at age 13, but six years later she was stung
when her pastor outed her and condemned her in front of the entire
congregation. "Faith has so much to do with your family and your
friends. I was, like, I can't be gay, please make me straight:'
Brown tried to find a place at other churches, but nothing fit
until WFBC. "It's home;' she says. "I went to many churches in
the past that weren't affirming ... ! always felt like I was an outsider
looking in. Angela and Susan are like family to me. They're like
my sisters, almost:'
The Dan Cathys of the world are quick to cite scripture when
condemning gays, so how do the women of WFBC reconcile their
faith with their sexuality in an environment where some are unwill~
ing to accept that such a thing is possible? "It's hard to undo what
people have been taught and to even understand how to read the
Bible;' says Parker. "There's a lot of contradiction in scripture, there's
a lot of stories that really don't have any connection to today:'
''A lot of time, people quote Leviticus;' Yarber adds. "People
rip that out of context. Leviticus was a priestly code. If you're a
ragtag group of Israelites, you're not
going to have sex that won't result in
""There's
children, which is why there are also
laws against touching your wife when
a lot of
she's menstruating:' Laws that even
contratliction
the most fundamentalist of modern
in scripture,
Christians rarely observe, Yarber
there's a lot
notes. "Stoning your wife or selling
or stories
your daughter or dismembering your
that really
concubine, those [rules] don't apply
anymore:'
don't have any
What sort of standard are some
connection
Baptists applying to the Bible, if it
to totlay."
makes being gay an unpardonable sin
but allows them to overlook edicts
about shellfish and menstruation? "I think they believe that they
understand scripture the way everybody does;' Parker says. "It's
normative for them, so they assume it's normative for everyone:'
Hope Kitchens, a Georgia~born lesbian teacher who attends
WFBC, will give you a piece of her mind if you try to quote scripture
against her. "People don't want to see their own faults;' she says.
"They fix it in their mind's eye:' It's easy for self~serving people to
disregard scriptural admonitions that apply to them, while focusing
on those that apply to others, particularly gays, she says.
"I don't want to call anybody ignorant, but sometimes I think if
people were just educated they'd understand better;' saysJudy Willard.
Yarber takes a bigger picture view on the suject. "I would say that
what the Bible says about homosexuality is unclear. In no way does
scripture say that homosexuality is a sin;' if it's read in the proper
context, she says. "That's not me ignoring the text, that's me paying
attention to the text:'
Though other institutions promote equality, teach compassion
and provide a sense of community, there's no substitute for the
church in these women's lives."Growing up in a small town, as I did,
a part of us is always in the closet, you're never completely out of the
closet. Sunday is the only day we can be ourselves;' says Brown.
"There's something about that notion of community that I
haven't found anywhere else;' says Yarber."Maybe others have found
it [elsewhere], but to me there's something irreplaceable about say~
ing to others, Tm an ordained Baptist minister:,, No matter what
anyone says back. ■
December 2012
I 33
you can count on from Jacki Gemelos-determination,
charisma, confidence, a winning smile and honesty. But
especially determination. Even though a slew of injuries
to her ACL have threatened to derail her basketball
career, the 2006 National High School Player of the
Year is working hard to get back to the hardwood and
make her WNBA debut with the Minnesota Lynx
next season.
''I've been dealing with these knee injuries since I've
been in sports;' Gemelos explains. "But I have such a
passion for basketball that I can't let it go. I love it so
much that I keep pushing myself to heal and keep at it.
I'm still young, I'm only 23, so I can recover better than if
I was in my 30s:'
Gemelos picked up a basketball at 7 years old and
began a love affair with the game that grew into a longterm
relationship. "My dad played college basketball at Weber
State and professional basketball in Greece. He was a
huge basketball fanatic, so he started me off at an early
age. But it wasn't until the seventh grade that my game
started to develop and I realized I was good at this:'
"Good" is an understatement. By the time Gemelos
was a senior at St. Mary's of Stockton, Calif., she was
averaging 39 points a game and was the number one high
school recruit in the country. Her ball~handling skills
were uncanny and she could score at will from anywhere
on the court. Women's college basketball analysts were
comparing Gemelos to Diana Taurasi, and everyone
expected her to follow in Taurasi's footsteps and play for
Geno Auriemma at the University of Connecticut. But
not everything went as planned.
''As a sophomore, I was the youngest recruit to ever
commit to UConn;' said Gemelos."So I was really young
to be making a decision like that. It's every girl's dream
to play for Geno and to be like Diana Taurasi. But when
I finally graduated from high school and it was time to
leave, the reality set in that I was going across the country,
where I didn't know anyone. I got cold feet and wanted to
stay close to home:'
Gemelos chose to play for the University of Southern
California instead. The decision shocked a lot of people
in the basketball community, but she felt it was the right
choice. "Everything happens for a reason. I couldn't be
happier [with the decision I made]:'
Gemelos instantly fell in love with the program at
USC, not only because the school was near her family,
but because it allowed her to be true to hersel£ "My
sexuality was a nonfactor during that time of my life. I
grew up in California, so I knew that at USC I would
be able to develop into the person I wanted to be. It
also helps when there are people in the program and on
staff who are like you, and who won't judge you for who
you are. As I grew up and matured, [my sexuality] just
became a part of who I was:'
On the basketball court, Gemelos endured one
debilitating knee injury after another. It wasn't until
February 2010 that she was finally able to play the first
game of her college career. She entered the 2010-11
season completely healthy and was able to play the entire
year. Unfortunately, she reinjured her knee halfway
through last season-her final year at USC. But despite
all the injuries, Gemelos' talent and relentless spirit were
enough to make her the Minnesota Lynx third~round
choice in the 2012 WNBA Draft.
"There was talk about me getting drafted;' she said,
"but it was a long shot. When I found out about it, it was
the greatest feeling I've ever experienced in my life. It was
a dream come true:' Though Gemelos is still currently
rehabbing her knee, she plans to play basketball overseas
this winter and be back in spring 2013 to play in the
WNBA. Her goal is to make a positive impact, both as a
player and as an individual.
"I think the league is changing, with all the younger
players and rookies who are coming in. Things are more
open. Some people always say to protect your image,
but when it comes to sexuality there's no image to
protect. You are who you are. I am at a very comfortable
point in my life now, where second~guessing it isn't even
a question:' ■
December 2012
I 35
lSUCCESS
~
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~
00
0
~
Jen Foster's singular path
I curve
a better fit than any other career,
and being out was a better fit
than keeping in the closet, no
matter what the risks.
Foster has always refused to
be corralled into any particular
musical genre as well; she's rock
'n' roll, she's country, she's folk,
she's guitar and lyrics any which
way she pleases. She sometimes
refers to this refusal to be cat,
egorized, and to her dual big
city/ small,town background as
a "double life;' and reflects that
she's closed certain doors by
maintaining her own identity.
'Tm a rock star in Atlanta and
a nobody in New York City;' she
says. "But early on I decided it's simply too hard to try to
control what people think and to also live a happy life:' So
she just does things her own way.
For example, while it's now common for independent
artists to start their own label, Foster started Fosterchild
Records nearly 10 years ago, at a time when the Internet
music wave was just a ripple and people still shopped at
Tower Records. She might have enjoyed more material
success by chasing a
deal with a big label,
but the tradeoffs didn't
seem worth it. "Nothing
that presented itself ever
felt right to me;' she says.
"I heard a lot of horror
stories about artists who
had deals and it turned
into a nightmare as they
lost creative control:'
Though Foster is low,
key and unassuming, it's
hard not to interpret
some of her work as
Even rock stars can swoon in the presence of rock stars.
Jen Foster learned this backstage at a U2 concert when
she met Bono, one of her biggest musical influences, and
she couldn't resist getting up close and personal with
the Irish rock icon. "I got a little out of control," Foster
says, "and, well, I just grabbed him and kissed him." A
Texan, a lesbian (Bono incident notwithstanding) and a
recording artist of no small stature herself, having just
toured with Antigone Rising and recorded a new EP
with multi-platinum producer and songwriter Jeffrey
Steele, Foster is pretty savvy about the music industry.
But that wasn't enough to stifle her spontaneous
outburst of fangirl frenzy. "He was really cool about
it," Foster adds. "I've been thinking of writing a song
about it. 'I Kissed a Rock Star.'"
oster learned all about the entrancing
power of performance at an early age
when sirenlike, she and her guitar
attracted a circle of teenage admir,
ers. "What kid doesn't dream about
being a rock start she asks."I started
out playing music at my Catholic
all,girls high school. The girls would
gather around and sing with me. It
was the way I felt special. And that's also the time I started
to realize I was gay:' If any future fan ever gets so carried
away with admiration for Foster that she can't resist
planting one on the independent,minded singer,songwriter,
it'll happen because Foster has a gift for doing things
her own way.
After all, it takes a certain independent streak to grow
up a lesbian in suburban Texas. To leave Texas for a music
career in Los Angeles and a string of coffee house gigs,
then to once again push the reset button for Nashville,
far from the hub of the pop scene and most major industry
contacts, speaks of a risk,taking streak as well, particu,
larly since, as Foster admits, "It's easier to be out in LA:'
But Nashville was a better fit for Foster, just as music was
36
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She's rock 'n' roll,
she's country, she's folk,
she's guitar and lyrics ~
~
t~-
Even Foster's openness as a lesbian has
sometimes caused friction in her career~
though not in the way you might think.
t:::r'
"Being gay was never a marketing tool for
~
me;' she says, "but there were times when
those around me warned me that I shouldn't
be so open, that I was 'pigeon-holing' myself
00
as an artist:' Pigeon-holed on the one hand,
t:::r'
(D
discriminated against on the other, it seems
Foster was in a no-win situation because of
~
,-....
her orientation. Rather than let it become
(D
an albatross, she just did what came naturally.
~
00
"I feel it's my responsibility to be as honest
(D
as I can in my life and in my work. So it
00
was never a question for me as to whether I
would be open about who I am:'
Foster's new EP You Stayed, is a tribute
to her longtime fans. She wrote the title track with Jeffrey
Steele. Despite, or perhaps because 0£ her stubborn insistence on being hersel£ Foster is rubbing shoulders with
the big time.
From the early days of singing to those Catholic
schoolgirls in Texas, to a future where she might enjoy
the kind of star-studded acclaim lavished on U2-can
her path travel through both L.A. and Nashville, through
rock and country, through the thoughtful and the playful,
in short, through all things Jen Foster, past and present? If
it can, she knows the way. (jenfoster.com) ■
~
a mission statement. After all, her third album is called
Underdogs and her fan-favorite 2010 single is called "This
Is Me" and contains such brazen lyrics as "Talk to God/
[... ] 'Cause I am all his fault:' Even something as comparatively lightweight as her 2009 single "I Didn't Just Kiss
Her;' a musical response to Katy Perry's lesbosploitation
anthem"! Kissed a Girl" ("We went all the way and I liked
it / What's the point in trying to hide it? / You never know
'til you've tried it;' Foster's lyrics run) showcases Foster's
habit of going her own way, even though some longtime
fans pushed back against what they perceived as a turn to
the dark side for her.
"It was just supposed to be this funny little song parody;'
she says. "There were some people who got really up in
arms that I was changing direction and getting negative
with my writing, but it was just about showing another
side of myself. I was in a different kind of mood that day:'
38
I curve
.
fw
uz
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0 Hers and Hers Photobooth Props •
Andnowfor something
completely
different.Unique,
quirkyandadorable,
thesepropsmakeeveryphotobooth
an opportunity
for lesbianvisibilitywith a dashof silliness.
($17,creativebutterflyxox.etsy.com)
€) Nutcracker Moustache Mug • Thisset
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e Stress
Cupcake • Whenyou'refeelingthe
~ Pussy Riot eBook • OnFebruary
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0 Silver Cassette Tape Ring • Unique
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~ Art Deco ID Case• Classy,
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featuresnewautobiographical
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Q?Butch Clothing Co. Boxer Briefs • No
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gift-givingholidaywouldbecompletewithouta newpair
8 Kiss Me DVD • Wanta guaranteed
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makesurethisyear'smust-havelesbianfilm KissMe is
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~ Roots Rose Radish Lip Balm • This
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0 Vinylux Drink Coasters • Putsomeoldtime sustainablelinehasoneperfectwinter-healing
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Q Recycled Sheet Metal Angels • Forget
~ Beer-Mo Bottle Moustache • These
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holidayornaments.
Theseare
setsfit yourfavoritebeer
originalworksof art createdby Noah'sArk in Moradabad, clip-onplasticmoustache
bottleandevenmostpacifiers.Sureto cracksmilesat
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($11,beardowear.ca)
artisans'children.($7,thehungersite.com)
e
~ Daily Decadence: the Art of Sensual
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thingsin lifearenotexpensive.
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EllOne
Good Deed: 865 Days of Trying to
be Just a Little Bit Better • Outlesbianauthor
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journalof a yearof giving.($19,amazon.com)
~ HRC Vision Wristband • Livethefight
for equalrightsin theworkplacewiththis"Vive"leather
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~ Custom Cat Stud Earrings • Isyourcatthe
twinklein youreye?Nowyoucanmakeit thetwinklein
yourearwith handmade
catstudearrings.Choose
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Q) H20 Instant Candle Kit • Createromantic
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drippingwaxwiththis non-toxicpack.($4,thinkgeek.com)
~ 96 Hours •
Setin theaftermathof 9/11,Georgia
Beersunveilsa lovestorythat exposes
whatit meansto
bevulnerable
andcapturesthe rawnessof human
emotion.($15,bywaterbooks.com)
G
Remedy Teas Naughty & Nice Tin •
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organicblend
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thingsup andkeepthingssweet,sealedfreshin a metal
tin. ($17,remedyteas.com)
40
I curve
One
God
Deed
teas
naughty
I
~
Lesbian Love Tumblers • Putyourcocktails,
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ontherockswithArdenCards_'
_setof
fourlesbianlovetumblers.
Theyaretheperfectadd1t1on
to
anylesbian'shomebar.($40,ardencards.etsy.com)
C Prometheus:
e
Love Infinity Cuff • Showheryourlovewith
this message
of forevercarvedinto100year-oldcopper
andrivetedontorepurposed
leather.Nowthat'swhatwe
call "cuff love."($35,inthislifenow.com)
Ill Gift
Membership to NCLR • Become
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card-carrying
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NCLRnewsletters,
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actionalerts,invitations
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eventsandthesatisfaction
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ourrights.
($35,nclr.org)
Special Edition Blu-ray •
Forfansof the uber-dreamy
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thespecial
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is a no-brainer.
This
pseudoAlienprequelseesthegirl witha dragontattoo
headingto thefurthestreachesof spaceto uncover
the
originsof mankind.
($25,amazon.com)
EDMolo Wool Project Toys • Thesesweet
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animals-and contributeto thesewomen'ssurvival.
($36,clothroads.com)
G Curve Magazine • A subscription
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bestlesbianmagazine
is a giftthat keepsgiving,all year
Hip Flask • Cheekyandinconspicuous, long.($40,curvemag.com)
thisretro-inspired
hipflaskmakesfor a greatsidekickfor
sippingyourtipplelikea brazenlady.Givethissaucy
G Baileys Original Irish Cream • Thisis the
sipperto yourfavoritepartygirl.($21,homewetbar.com) perfectB.Y.O.B.
whendroppingin onfriendsdu~ing
t~e
holidays.
Enjoythisliqueurin a warmingcocktailor simply
~ Only Tank • FormermodelLoisEliselaunc_hed
a
overice.($21,baileys.com)
Pride-inspired
clothinglineonthedaythegaymarriage
bill passedin NewYorkState.Modeledbysexylesbian
~ Marc Jacobs Ask Mom Tee• Thislimited
musicmavenLoriMichaels,
telltheworldwhoyoulove.
editionsuper-soft
100percentorganiccottonlightweight,
($25,theonlyline.com)
double-sided
teeis perfectfor gaybies,
toddlersandtykes.
($35,shop.hrc.org)
~ High-heeled
Wine Caddy • Boldbottle
holdersshowcase
yourwinein style.Perfectfor a girls'
Marriage Equality Pendant • Thisstainless
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steeldoubletag pendantfeaturesthe MarriageEquality
USAlogoononependantwiththeotherleft blankfor
~ Road Popper • Thisbike-mounted
bottleopener optionalengraving.
100percentof proceeds
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is designed
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($39andup,loveandpride.com)
Choose
fromplain,mattegold,glossygold,matteantique
bronzeandglossyantiquebronze.($40,shapeways.com) C Born This Way Tee • Showyoursupportfor
theHumanRightsCampaign
withthisstylishandtopical
tee.($25,shop.hrc.org)
e Saucy
e
42 Icurve
G
Original Beard Hat • Keepwarmduring
the holidayswiththissoftacrylicyarnhatfeaturing
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a detachable
sportto apresski byjustfoldingawaythe beard.
($40,beardowear.ca)
~ Wakeup Call Tee • TheRealL Word'sRomi
Klingerhascreateda seriesof hottees,tanksand
hoodiesthat aresexyandmakea statement.($29,
loveandpride.com)
S, Lime Crime's Chinadoll Palette • Forthe
on yourholidayshoppinglist,LimeCrime's
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palettemakesfor a gorpressedeyeshadow
Chinadoll
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andpowerfully-pigmented
geous,brightly-colored
($35,limecrimemakeup.com)
$ OLO Fragrance
Sample Kit • Sometimes
the bestgiftscomein smallpackages-inthiscase,a
quartetof scentsinspiredbythefloraandfaunaof the
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fromearthyandmasculine
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essenceof springtime.
~ DJ Cat Scratching
Pad • Protectyour
furnitureandkeepyourkittybusywiththis groovy
scratchpad.($40,aspcaonlinestore.com)
~ Smitten
Mittens • Don'tletthecoldweather
These
getbetweenyouandyourgirl with Smittens.
doublehandmittenswill havethetwo
lesbian-invented
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($26,smittens.biz)
(!) Anti-Puppy Mills T-shirt • HelptheASPCA
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December 2012
I 43
~ Collar Necklace
• Thismightverywellbethe
of thelittleblackdress;sofar we
equivalent
metallurgic
haven'tfoundanythingthatit doesn'tgowith.Forthat
matter,it's a greatpairingwiththe littleblackdress.
($54,vrdjewelery.etsy.com)
G) The Matthew Shepard Erase Hate
Pendant • Madefromdurabletitanium,thispendant
asksfor underbyJudyandDennisShepard
designed
andhasraised
andacceptance
compassion
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$250,000for theMatthewShepard
2008.($59,loveandpride.com)
0
Bluetooth Multi-Media Remote •
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AccessyourBluetooth
whethertheybeservingasstereo,
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($40,satechi.net)
G
Hand of Buddha Jewelry Stand •
woodandbroughtto
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Hand-carved
artisansonthe
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this is notonlyanelegantand
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beautifuldisplay,it's a sociallyconscious
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0
Green City Bottles • Thiseco-conscious,
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($45,greencitybottles.com)
tumblersandglasses.
~ Click and Grow Planter
• Somepeoplehave
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~ Princess
Leia Hoodie • Don'tevenpretend
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($50,heruniverse.com)
6.1Dishonored
• Whatsaysholidayspiritliketaking
Well,OK,lotsof
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versatilegameplay
endlessly
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steampunk
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e
Oregon Shakespeare Festival 2013
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Shakespeare
e
Babeland Eco-Sexy Kit • With$10of your
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ffUEtched
Copper Octopus
necklace • Maybethingsreallyarebetter
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imageof oureight-limbed
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($45,RowdyBaubles.etsy.com)
accessory.
~ Wingtip
Handbag • Theholidaysmean
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travel,sodon'tforgetto helpeveryone
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handbagis a throwback
Thisretro-inspired
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~
dyke
freeKEY Keyboard • Forthetech-savvy
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a freeKEY.
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~ Hootch Owl Corkscrew
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ai
Skull Belt Buckle • Lookingfor something
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buckleandbelthastheperfectbalanceof humorand
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~ Leather Statement
Cuff Bracelets •
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A slightlykinky,utterlyfashionable
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andgoodreadingmaterial,whatmorecanyouaskfor?
($40,thinkgeek.com)
~ Le Bunny Bleu Flats
• Cute,classyand
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astheyare.Available
lovedonea gift (almost)asadorable
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e
Three Rights Necklace • Thisnecklace
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~ The L Word Watch • Thishotorange
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charmchainadornedwith crystalsandmatchingorange
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takes c
grow u
come wh
reaJJya
~
S
Beacon Universal Remote Control
System • Themostpowerfulremotecontrolin the
world.Makesyoufeelall tinglyjust readingthat,
doesn'tit?lV, stereo,Blu-ray,iPad,iPod,there'snot
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(ll New Balance Shoes • Nothingbeatsa classic,
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e
Heart Necklace • A gift thatgivesso much
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(?i)Top Butch Stainless
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Well,thatjustaboutsaysit all,doesn'tit?Some
womenknowit andsomewantto flauntit, andfinally
there'sa giftthat letsthemknowthatyouknowit too.
($65,cardcarryinglesbian.etsy.com)
G
Hourglass Footwear Painted Pumps •
Kickupyourheelswiththesedecorative
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andup,hourglassfootwear.com)
~
Heart Gloves • Doyouwearyourheartonyour
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0
LOTL Rescue • curve's sisterpublication,
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E) Teardrop Terrarium • Highlightyour
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Especially
perfectfor thosewhohaven'tmastered
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($75,abjglassworks.etsy.com)
G
Hand-Crocheted Aviator Hat • This
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woolheadwarmerwill bringoutthe
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Ring True Push-Button Phone • If retro
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41Roccat Gaming Mouse • Gota gamergirlon
747-inspired
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straightoutof the '60s,a mod
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($80,roccat.org)
~ Cubist Martini Set • There'snoreasonat
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Thesespecial
Mucha Red Poppy Headband • Ladies
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keepingit coolandrefreshing
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pizzazzwill go gagafor this rubyvelvetheadpiece,
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inspiredbyart nouveauartist,AlphonseMucha.
($65,jeezelouise.etsy.com)
e
C Electric
Friends Panda • Pandasaresimple
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fi
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Panda Hoodie-Footie PJs • Snuggies
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Utility Steampunk Belt Bag • Even
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~ Lush Ka-Pow
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Roku 2xs • Streamover300channels
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onlinesocialnetworks,photoalbumsandplaylists.Roku
2xsis a all-in-oneentertainment
center.($98,roku.com)
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Lag Ukulele • Madefromsolidrosewood,
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Q)
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this pairto hercloset.($81,modcloth.com)
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HRC Explorer Women's Watch • It'stime
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Magic Wand Remote • Channel
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December 2012
I49
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II
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ishnets and bruises, sweat, muscles,
eyeliner and lipstick: These are the
hallmarks of the hottest trend in worn,
en's sports. It was born in the U.S. and
is played in over 1,200 leagues in 36
countries worldwide; now South Africa
has joined the international sisterhood,
too. On July 28, the second,ever roller
derby bout was held in Johannesburg.
It was still a novelty on the African
continent.
This tough as old boots sport gives
women a platform to express themselves,
be loud and rough, embody their fierce
feminine attitude. And where femininity
is being redefined, lesbians are leading the way, showing
their straight sisters how to embrace their inner butch,
playing tough and physical. This can only be roller derby
and it has created something more than just a commu,
nity. Crossing borders and bringing women together, it
has created a true and binding sisterhood: Derby Girls.
A contact sport played on roller skates, roller derby was
invented in the 1930s and enjoyed a revival in the early
2000s in Texas, but it was the 2009 movie Whip It that
brought more widespread popularity. In fact, it was this
movie that gave South African lesbians Melinda Lotz
(Miss Chief) and Candice Van Niekerk (Ling Kong)
the idea of starting a league of their own.
The Johannesburg,based CMax Roller
Derby League was created by a small and
dedicated group of friends. The skaters
had to learn the hard way, picking up skills
and strategy through YouTube videos. After
a lot of work and perseverance, the league's
first two teams, the Raging Whoremones
and the Thundering Hellcats, held bouts in
March and July of this year. The second
bout brought a record number of new
recruits, introduced greater diversity and
spread the word about derby into other
locations. A new team will soon to be
forming in Soweto.
I first heard of the league through mutual
friends, and when I met Miss Chie£ she
suggested I get down and dirty and come
try it out. It was love at first roll. ■
December 2012
I 55
''S~uid ted~u a ~'lfl abtJutjust abtJut
S ev&t,CalYlb inttJ~ntad with, ,,
ev~tJ4
says America'smost importantfemalecomicEllennotwithstanding.LilyTomlinis a great
Americanstoryteller.One of the best And she
has five Emmys,two Tonys,a Grammyand
two Peabodyawards (onefor narratingand
executive-producing
the LGBTdocumentary,
The CelluloidCloset)to prove it. Thereare very
few of us who have not splitour sides laughing
over snarky,sexually-frustrated
Ernestinethe
telephoneoperator,or EdithAnn the nve-yearold philosopher,or marveledat Tomlin'sfinelyetched outsiders:Trudythe bag lady,Crystalthe
hang-glidingquadriplegicand Rickthe singles
bar cruiser.Then there are Tomlin'ssilverscreen
shenanigansin 9 to 5, Big Businessand All of
Me. Whatevermediumshe's in, Tomlinhas a
raregift, the gift of character,and to some extent
she can take creditfor the characterstylingsof
Whoopi Goldberg,Amy Poehler,KristenWiig
and our very own Kate McKinnon.
December 2012
I 57
But, more importantly, Lily Tomlin is someone from whom we expect wit and
adult life and continue to work-here
I am at 73 working on this series,
and I do concerts all the time, and
on the screen or on Broadway, in the multi-award-winning monologue The
TV shows.
Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe. We delight in receiving
Andyouhavepickedsomedamngood
the bracing slap of recognition, familiarity and truth in any given monologue
ones:WestWing,Desperate
Housewives,
or character portrait she might deliver. And to this extent, Tomlin holds a
Damages
...
higher rank than comic: She's right up there with Mark Twain (she was the
I appreciate that. The thing I love most
is Eastbound and Down on HBO, an
recipient of the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003),
off-the-wall, raunchy show, but I'm
with her idol Ruth Draper (who some say created the character monologue)
absolutely in love with the sensibility.
and perhaps even with Flannery O'Connor (with whom she shares Southern
It's across-the-board offensive, I loved
Baptist roots). What makes the happy coincidence of her fame even sweeter
doing that show. I'm still doing Lisa
is the fact that she is one of us: She has been with her partner, Jane Wagner,
Kudrow'smother on Web Therapy.Her
mother is more narcissistic and selfsince 1971; theirs is one of the great creative collaborations of all time.
involved than Lisa'scharacter is. Actors
Wagner has been shy of the limelight, and even though Tomlin mentions her
love to do that, we just go out there and
in most interviews, the media has deferred to propriety and Tomlin is given
play around and improv.Just go somethe glory for their indivisible work. In addition to comic creations, Tomlin has
where crazy.
parlayed her masterful performing instincts into character acting; in the films
Whatattracted
youto MalibuCountry?
of auteurs Robert Altman and David 0. Russell, and in some notable lV: Will
I love the idea of playing an older
woman who-my fantasy is that she
and Grace, West Wing, NCIS, Eastbound and Down and Damages. As a
comes from Nashville-I'm Southern,
performance junkie, I was thrilled to finally catch up with Tomlin the morning
so I know the culture pretty well. I
after the second 2012 presidential debate, while she was in rehearsals for
think the character of Lillie Mae comMalibu Country, her new lV show with Reba McEntire on ABC.
ing to Malibu, she has an opportunity,
she's like a bird let out of a cage, she's
Whatdidyouthinkofthepresidential
debate?
willing to try anything. She's more liberal-minded than Reba,
Oh,Jane and I are extremely sick about this.
who as a character is more conventional, she's got two teenYoutwoareverypoliticalandspeakoutonFacebook.
Howlong agers she has to raise. Lillie Mae is more of a free spirit and
didit takeyouto getintosocialmedia?
totally open to most anything. She's done a lot of stuff on the
We started doing Facebook and Twitter because we got
show already-she's tried pot, she's gone surfing, she's gone
hooked up with this media company, because they were doing
to a nude beach...
[producer] George Schlatter, Laugh-In, Carson, gathering Youseemto thinkmorelikeanactorthana comic.
their archives. They said they would digitize everything in I probably am more of an actor. Even though the stuff I did
our office. That was very attractive to us because I've always through all those years-creating comic characters and dodreamed of having no paper, no CDs, no DVDs. I dreamed ing comedy shows-were things that appealed to me that
of having one of those bare desks, the kind that Romney has other people weren't doing at the time. I had very eclectic
taste. I loved everybody, from Lucy to Ruth Draper. I loved
because he doesn't do a lick of work himsel£
Thecurrentpoliticalsituation
mustmakeyoumadbecause
you Eve Arden too. Imogene Coca. I loved really high farce,
grewupin Detroitasoneofthe99 percent.
physical comedy. I never thought of drama and comedy as
It doesn'tjust make me mad, it makes me a bit sick, and in a being separated. Part of it was that I created opportunity for
state of despair. And for a performer like me- I'll probably mysel£ I don't want to say it in some self-aggrandizing way,
but I didn't like what I was expected to do, so when I was
live to be 106, I feel that hearty and active and physical-it
takes a lot of money to live. I think about friends of mine, lucky enough to get on a show like Laugh-In,I was already
doing Ernestine. I was always character-focused. I thought
people in the business, who, as they age they don't really get
you could express an idea better through a culture type. It's
work anymore, particularly women. The studios and networks have just gutted the unions-as corporations have all nothing that you intellectually ferret out-it's where your
over the place. Everything has changed radically.Wages for sensibility leads you.
Ernestine-workingfor the phone company,demanding
the general public have been decimated. Just the greed, the
power of corporations. The playing field is very rocky. I'm payment,spyingon customers-predictedwhere we are
monopolies,
lackof privacy.
one of the fortunate people in that I've worked most of my today.Corporate
wisdom whenever she opens her mouth-whether
ss I curve
it is on the radio, on vinyl,
You cannot believe it! Now she works for the healthcare
insurance corporation, denying healthcare to everyone.
She's going to go where the power is. She's going to go
where she can be a bully. [Laughs] She's really ripe for any
kind of institutional narrowness.
Whendidyourealizeyouwerefunnyandthatyoucouldmake
a joboutofthat?
I don't think I ever really thought of it that way. I put on
shows when I was a little girl.
You've
beeninfluential
toa wholegeneration
offemalecomics,
fromTraceyUllmanto Kristen
Wiig.
Well, I couldn't say. I mean, I'm older than Tracey, but she
said to me, "When I was a little girl in England and you were
doing Laugh-In and I saw all these characters, I thought,
That's what I can do!" But she was probably already doing it.
But maybe it's a confirmation of that. I could imagine that
Kristen [Wiig] could be even more influenced by Tracey
than by me ... lt all just rolls out, one after the other.
As goodas theybothare,youhaveto takesomecreditas a
trailblazer.
I'm thinkingaboutyourcharacterTommyVelour.
He'sliketheveryfirstdragking.Wheredidhecomefrom?
[Laughs] Well, my show was going to Vegas, so you
try to people the landscape. That was my dilemma: I
didn't want to go to Vegas, I just couldn't bring myself
to go, politically. And so I sublimated it and did a special
about going there for the money. So that's how Tommy
was born: a combination of Sammy [Davis Jr.], Robert
Goulet and Wayne Newton.
Why don't I need gay
marriage? Because we've
been together for 41 years
and one of us wouldn't
get there on time.
ana
then)
$ ~nt even
IJMeu think
wlillt u
~~ut the, w~6e.
))
If youhadto liveouttherestofyourdays,whichisuntil106,as
oneofyourcharacters,
whichonewouldyouchoose?
Oh God. [Laughs] I couldn't be one of them. It would get
tiring-for me, even.
WhataboutSusietheSorority
Girl?
I haven't done her for so long! I don't know enough about
the life now.
It's bitchier.
Yeah, right, and that's what I liked about Susie: "By golly,
I'm square:' That's how Susie was, awful square and out of
it. 'Tm Susie Sorority from the Silent Majority:' The Silent
Majority was like the Tea Party [in the 1970s], and they
were rearing their reductive heads.
December 2012
I 59
''
$
W~J,
liiw~1'
~IJ~~JUI.
I thought you could
express an idea better
through a culture type.
It's nothing that you
intellectually I erret outit's where your sensibility
leads you."
Youseemto liveandbreathethesecharacters,
sowheredoes
yourpartnerJanecomeintoall ofthis,asa collaborator?
I'm forever being quoted, and it's really some great line that
Jane has written or said someplace and that I've repeated.
She writes for me all the time. The high verbal stuff, she
writes, believe me, and I always get credit for it. I used to
really be on fire to create these physical characters, and I
always wanted a definitive monologue for them, and I
would struggle. I mean, Ruth Draper said a monologue
wasn't worth doing until it was 8, 10 years old, to make
everything in it right, true, universal, sympathetic, funny,
tender. I discovered her recordings back in Detroit, when I
was [performing] in a coffeehouse. Then I had a standard.
Soyouhavea feelingfor the characters,
butthenJaneadds
thelanguage.
Really, like, The Search, that's totally Jane. We did everything
we could to protect her authorship, but we so haven't
achieved that, because if I'm out there and she's not-and
I'm so close to her sensibility-it just lives inside me, her
points of view.
Youtalkaboutherinyourinterviews,
andyou'reclearlytogether.
It's notlikeyou'vesaidyoudo it all onyourown.Doesmost
mediadecideto editherout?
Yeah, it blows my mind. There's a great line in The Search:
"No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to
keep up:' It's a timeless line, truer now than ever. Over a
period of years, [Nightline anchor] Ted Koppel quoted that
line, ''As Lily Tomlin said ... "Jane is not a person to put her~
self forward and truly doesn't like to be in the limelight.
Unfortunately, it's one of the hazards we live with.
You'vebeentogethersince1971.Haveyoueverdisagreed
on
something
creatively?
[Laughs] Oh my God, yes, of course.
Outside
of theusualworktensions,
didyoueverfeelthat,as a
couple,
therelationship
mightnotwork?
If you really love someone you certainly don't want to think
of it not working. You think of it as rolling through life.
You're going to have fights and disagreements, and I've come
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to know her so well that I'm protective of her, and I hope
I always thought that, truly, the gay community could
she is of me. I don't want her to be so unhappy that she'd come up with something better than marriage. But then, I
want to leave me. I want her to thrive. But yeah, it's always have friends who have kids, and that kind of conventional
tough. I don't think being together is easy. There's always validation means a lot to them, means a lot to the kids, and
a lot of stuff to go up against. I mean, we had a big failure
to the couple and to their families. Jane and I are not in any
with [the film] Moment by Moment, which was really tough
way religious. I mean, it probably would have been nice if
we'd done it just for the community. Symbolically. But we
on us, and more for her, because I was already celebrated.
never did.
Her capacity for work was not even known. John Travolta
had seen [the Broadway show] Appearing Nitely, and he
I havean ideaforyou.
had a three~picture deal with Robert Stigwood and unbe~ What:'
YougoasTommy
Velour.
Thenat leastyouwon'thavetoworry
knownst to us he goes to Stigwood and says, "I want to
aboutwhatto wear.
work with Lily and Jane:• So we became part of the deal for
his third picture. He was coming off SaturdayNight Fever [Laughs] 0 K. That's a good idea.
and he was a huge star. And it was a huge failure. I know
Andyou'llprobably
beontime.
But Jane's the one who's late. We even call her Maybe Jane.
some days Jane thought, I just cannot go out there and do
So, we won't hold her to it.
this. My heart just broke for her because I knew what a trial
OK,so maybeno weddingspread,butat leastyou'reon the
[directing] was.
issue!
In lightof yourcommitment
to yourenduringrelationship, coverof curve's Holiday
whatisyourviewongaymarriage?
Dowe needit?
That sounds lovely.
Well, some people do. I don't need it.
Whatareyourplansfortheholidays?
Whydon'tyouneedit?
We haven't decided yet. Sometimes we're just so glad to be
Why don't I:' Because we've been together for 41 years home and not to be traveling. We just lounge around the
house all day and night and watch movies. It's nice to not
and I just ... l mean, I make a joke about it, but it's not far
be on the go all the time. Like, this weekend I have to go to
from the truth: First of all, one of us wouldn't get there on
D.C.-Ellen is getting the Mark Twain Prize. I'm happy to
time. And then, I don't even want to have to think about
be a part of that, but-don't say this-I'd rather stay home
the wardrobe. [Laughs] I do a routine that says, "If all the
homosexuals are imitating heterosexuals, it could be a very with Jane. I'll probably be calling her and saying, "Help me
with this joke;' or whatever. (lilytomlin.com)■
slippery slope. What's next:' Monster truck rallies?"
()
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December 2O12 I 61
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THERE'S
SOMETHING
INCREDIBLY
NOSTALGICabout the Outer Banks of
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North Carolina, even if you've never been there before.
The beach road is lined with houses sitting high on stilts
and clad in cedar,shake shingles. The weathered restau,
rants and bars look as though they'd sprouted from where
they stand. Although there are a few chain hotels to be
found, that's more the exception than the rule.
I've been to the Outer Banks a number of times. I've
even lived there for a few months, when I was a member
of The Lost Colony, an outdoor theater company that
tells the story of the settling of Roanoke Island. In the
summer, I'd always rent a house on the beach-something
old, though there are plenty of gorgeous new homes to be
found as well.
On a recent trip with my girlfriend and our daughter,
we decided to go the B&B route, staying in the historic
25,room First Colony Inn (firstcolonyinn.com). The property
almost fell to ruin in the late '80s but luckily was bought,
cut in pieces and moved three miles up the road, where it's
been restored and renewed. It's old,school, one of a kind.
The beach is just across a narrow road and over some
reed,filled dunes. The rooms are furnished in keeping with
the era when the hotel first opened, the 1930s. A pool and
wide grassy lawns sit behind the hotel, and wide porches
wrap around two of its three stories. It was ideal for us.
It can be hard to decide how to spend your time in the
Outer Banks, since the wide, sandy beaches call for lazy
days and sand castles, while a variety of activities beckon,
all the way from Old Nags Head (think classic beach) to
Corolla, with its massive, brightly painted Victorians.
We decided to split up the days, with activities in the
morning and beach time in the afternoon. Of course,
the weather wasn't always on our side. Rain can come on
in an instant. But, luckily, it often passes just as quickly.
We signed on for a number of outings through one of
the biggest and most popular outfitters in the area, Kitty
Hawk Kites (kittyhawk.com).
One morning, we went hang gliding over the dunes
where the Wright Brothers first took flight. It was a windy
morning, and though I was only 6 to 10 feet off the ground,
with instructors holding tethers on either side of me, I felt
as if I was soaring. Day two, it was on to kayaking in the
Alligator River, where, yes, we did see an alligator.
Then it was time for paddleboarding, which I love. We
cruised in the calm waters of Roanoke Sound just before
sunset, my girlfriend and daughter doing yoga on the
December 2012
I 63
board as I did my best to remain upright. (Next year, I'm bringing
my own Slingshot board, so I can do some showing off.)
We spent a lot of time eating in the Outer Banks, where there are
a plethora of dining choices, from tiny local haunts like Al's Place,
with the best burgers on the beach and a motto that's all too true"Locals Welcome, Tourists Tolerated" -to massive buffet restaurants
like Captain George's, where the trick is to keep it simple and just go
for the king crab legs, which they replenish nonstop.
We ate entirely too much ice cream at Fat Boyz and Italian
ice at Rita's. Other favorites of mine include Tortuga's Lie, Dare
Devil's Pizzeria, Kelly's, and Mama Kwan's. But the choices are
endless all up and down the main road, where you'll also find the
requisite T-shirts and hermit crabs for sale at a zillion beach paraphernalia shops.
We spent one morning fishing at Jennette's Pier (jennettespier.net),
which was a blast despite the morning drizzle. And we made a
pilgrimage to Manteo to see The Lost Colony. It felt strange to be
in the audience, having performed the show for thousands of tourists in the summer of 1995. But I would highly recommend seeing
it, with kids and all.
When rain did really overtake the day (which only happened
once all week long), we headed for the North Carolina Aquarium,
also on Roanoke Island. Be warned: The line can be exceptionally
long on rainy days. But it was a great place to while away the day.
Perhaps the best parts of the week were the lazy afternoons spent
on the wide, dune-lined beach, where we went boogie boarding and
flew the rainbow kite that we chose from the multitude of styles at
rdffiOOW
Kitty Hawk Kites. I also spent time reading and perusing the web and
was grateful to have SealLine waterproof (and sand proof!) cases on my
iPhone and iPad. The wind gets whippy there and the tide sneaks up on
you.Trust me on that one.
Other Outer Banks highlights include strolling the gorgeous
Elizabethan Gardens on Roanoke Island, as well as parasailing, jet
skiing, kite boarding and visiting the Wright Brothers Memorial.
Truth is, you can't really go wrong. There are plenty of beaches all
around the world, but only one that I know of that always feels like
home. (outerbanks.org) ■
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GET
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AND
STAY
OUT
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AN URBANOASISINNEWYORKCITY
ISYOURGO- TO PLACETO STAYAND PLAY
BYMERRYN
JOHNS
EVERSINCETHEPASSAGE
OF MARRIAGEEQUALITYin New York State, the Big
Apple has stolen the golden tiara of America's queerest city
from its West Coast cousin, San Francisco. It comes as no
surprise, then, that there is a place you can stay in New York
City that is not only gay-friendly and gay-owned-with
an
upscale, design-forward aesthetic that attracts gays like a
perfectly mixed dirty martini-but
is absolutely flaming.
The Out NYC is New York's first urban resort (more
on that later) smack dab in the gay heart of Manhattan,
near all the attractions of Hell's Kitchen, Times Square
and Chelsea. This fine establishment wears its queer
heart on its designer sleeve. From the minimalist-chic
lobby, which showcases artworks by the likes of Broadway
luminary Alan Cumming, to the smartly renovated rooms,
the resort facilities, the noteworthy restaurant KTCHN
and the fabulous nightclub XL, The Out NYC reflects
the remarkable vision of gay owners and condo developers
who took a humble '70s-era motel and transformed it into
a destination.
There are six types of accommodation to choose from,
catering to every budget. The Superior Rooms look more
like a hot young executive's downtown crash pad, complete
with built-in workspace and floor-to-ceiling mirrored
headboards-just
to encourage some Hell's Kitchen
decadence. The Luxury Quad Bunk Room screams lesbian
wedding party-perfect for a group of gals traveling together
to celebrate their friend's big day. Rates for the Quad start
at an unbelievably enticing $99 per person, and the room
comes with its own bathroom, and bunk beds that resemble
a futurist Orient Express: Each full-size bed has a personal
22" TV and privacy curtains.
And now to the resort facilities: The Out may once have
been a motel, but the extensive renovations, while preserving the best bones of this architecture, have greatly improved
upon it. Many rooms look onto the Secret Garden, a quiet
place with outdoor tables and plantings of black bamboo,
which form natural privacy screens. Who said that New
York is a concrete jungle:' The open-to-the-sky courtyard,
which is carpeted with AstroTur£ is a cheeky nod to
Central Park's Great Lawn, and here you can lounge in
beanbags and sip a glass of wine.
66
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The Out's stately, glass-covered atrium houses private
cabanas, two hot tubs, a sun deck with lounge chairs
and a 15-foot waterfall, perfect for splashing around on a
Manhattan midsummer's day. The state-of-the-art Revive
Spa, with its wellness center, sauna and steam room, is the
perfect place to purify yourself from the stress and grit of
the city. And of course there is a well-equipped gym. This
is a gay hotel!
Conventional hospitality wisdom has it that any
restaurant attached to a hotel is convenient but most likely
sub-par when it comes to offering a transcendental culinary
experience. Not so with KTCHN. This restaurant is as
good as any in the area, and it even has its own website,
touting its innovative approach to new American cuisine
(ktchnnyc.com).
On my recent stay, I sampled the West Coast Oysters
with warm leek fondue, basil caviar and champagne sauce,
followed by Diver Sea Scallops with asparagus risotto,
crawfish and basil essence. Yes, it's that good. And besides,
how can you not like a place that offers up a side of Sexy
Fries (these come with salt, vinegar, smoked paprika and
garlic). As for the service in New York City being rudewell, if you like the idea of servers who are so friendly you
feel like inviting them to sit down at your table and talk
about the latest Broadway show, save yourself a walk and
enjoy the hotel's hospitality.
But perhaps best of all is that The Out NYC comes with
its own entertainment. No need to trawl the underbelly
of the city's nightlife for a cocktail and a dance with your
girl. Stay at "home" and walk from the lobby right into XL
Nightclub, such a fun place that even the locals prefer it
over the neighborhood watering holes. This dub has the
razzle-dazzle we've come to expect from gay-boy bars (it's
the brainchild of nightlife impresario John Blair), but it's
also supremely welcoming to women and has a great vibe.
The dub also has a 14,000-square-foot high-tech party
space. Lesbian wedding reception, anyone:' Well, a girl
can dream, can't she:' And if she chooses to make those
dreams come true all under one roof at The Out NYC,
the lovely (mostly gay and lesbian) staff will be eager to
assist. ( theoutnyc.com) ■
YOUHAVETOLIKEA the word "breast:' Early in the first
CITYNAMEDAFTERcenturytheRomanswhowereinvading
Britain chose the site because, as they were scouring the
landscape, they saw a "breast-shaped hill" and thought
it looked like an attractive place to rest. They named the
site Mamucium, which is perhaps derived from the Latin
mamma, meaning udder or breast; or perhaps it is a
Latinization of the earlier Celtic word mamm, which refers
to a swell of land above the rivers. Although I looked
everywhere for breast shapes, I couldn't locate any in the
geography, but apparently the Romans found sufficient
succor here to build a large fort and several canals, the
earliest evidence of settlement.
Now with 2 million inhabitants in the greater metropolitan area, Manchester is one of the U.K:s largest
cities. A few hours north of London by train, about a
six-hour AA flight from New York's JFK, Manchester
offers a dose of urban sophistication, a swag of historical
sites and a relatively inexpensive base for exploring the
surrounding countryside, notably the Lake District and
the Yorkshire Moors.
It also, unfortunately, offers a lot of rain: Its location in
the foothills of the Pennine Mountains makes it one of the
wettest cities in Britain.
How could this rainy industrial center possibly be of
interest to traveling lesbians? Well, after the rain there
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are rainbows-more
pink, lavender and multicolored decorations filled the streets and shop windows of Manchester
than any other place I've seen, and not just in the gayborhood. During my August visit, Manchester's Town Hall
and the international airport (MAG) sported large rainbow
flags, glowing against the gray sky. And both the Museum
of Science and Industry and Manchester Museum had
impressive exhibits on gay history, featuring the works of
the mathematician and computer designer Allen Turing.
For the past five years, Manchester's Pride celebration
has been voted"Best Pride"by the readers of the Pink Paper
(PinkPaper.com is Britain's leading gay website); and in my
assessment it wins "Best Pride of My Life:' I was impressed
not just by the caliber of performer and undampenable
spirits of the participants, but by the event's overwhelming
inclusiveness: Here's a community everyone seems to be
proud 0£
Manchester Pride (manchesterpride.com) is bigger than
just the queer community. In 2011, some 45,000 wristbands were sold, allowing 45,000 people-some
of them
have to be straight-entry
into the cordoned-off, six-block
area that contains the concerts, parties and other weekend
events. The weekend follows a weeklong arts festival called
the "Fringe;' which doesn't require wristbands and offers
family-friendly, clean and sober events.
This city is flat and compact, making it very walkable.
Locals blithely ignore the traffic signals and the traffic,
going wherever they want on foot or hopping onto the free
trams. Canal Street is the center of the neighborhood called
the Gay Village. A century ago, according to Green Badge
tour guide John Ryan, this was the run~down, seedy part
of the city, where gay men could meet far from the public
eye or watchful police. Here stands the New Union, now
celebrated as one of the oldest gay pubs in town, but once
a secretive, female~owned "molly bar" where a three~piece
lesbian band used to play so gay men could illegally engage
in "licentious dancing;' and more.
Now, when gays, straights and the undeclared all legally
enjoy a large number of "gay" pubs on and around Canal
Street (note: local wags routinely delete the "C'' from the
signs), lesbians tend to congregate at the Vanilla Bar, a
place as comfortable and unthreatening as its name. Large,
well~lit and actually decorated, it bespeaks inclusiveness
with a large sign outside prodaiming"Boys Are Welcome!"
and, amazingly, a male bartender. During Pride weekend,
the Vanilla Bar hosts the block party of dykes known as
Girlzone, where women dance, sing, flirt and keep each
other warm throughout the inevitable downpours.
At long~term community bar Taurus, most evenings
co~owner Mike "Polly" Pollard climbs the steps of a
platform outside his bar and rants. Usually in bad drag,
as good~natured as she is foul~mouthed, Polly screams
free entertainment, gossip and commentary to all within
earshot.
On Pride kickoff evening, once the people around me
started slurring their words-making
their lovely~but~
difficult accents incomprehensible- I returned to the
serenity of the Radisson Blu Edwardian, an imposing and
comfortable hotel in the Italianate palazzo~style Free Trade
Hall. Now a champagne bar and high~end restaurant
(Opus One), the ground floor once served as a venue
for political speakers including Winston Churchill and
feminist Christabel Pankhurst, and later as a concert hall
for everyone from Bob Dylan to the Sex Pistols.
The hotel impressed me with its history, but the streets
struck me as super~friendly. Every night when I walked
alone, people I passed said hello, often calling, "You all
right, lover" and offering directions when I looked lost.
Nowhere else in England have I met such accommodating
locals: Here is the "friendly North" of the country, which
parallels the American South in its hospitality. At mid~
night, I roamed through small alleys and forgotten areas
of downtown, never worried about anything more than
keeping my feet dry.
Foodie highlights of the city include the Richmond
Tea Rooms, a fiercely fabulous old building owned by
two men who run a cocktail bar on one side and on the
other an Alice in Wonderland~themed tearoom (featuring
cheeky signs saying"Drink Me" over a row of teapots and
teas,"Eat Me" over the cakes).
My favorite meal was at Australasia, an elegant restaurant
started by an Australian. The wine list was largely European,
and the cocktails included a fantastic cumquat~cucumber
mojito full of fresh mint leaves and crushed ice.
En route to the parade on Saturday, my friends and I
stopped at the newly opened Alchemist Bar on New York
Street. It's a light, airy space furnished with distressed~
leather sofas imprinted with equally distressed Union
Jacks. Senior mixologist Aaron Smallman introduced us
to the signature cocktail, the Mad Hatter's Tea Party: An
elderflower mixture is poured over dry ice in a teapot, so
that thick creamy steam emerges from the spout, cover~
ing both mixologist and drinker in white cloud. Once it
dears, the beverage is poured: a pale green, sour~floral
brew much appreciated by my friends, especially those
who'd missed breakfast.
Feeling festive after our liquid brunch, we reached the
official starting point for the Pride parade. The parade's
entire route, over a mile long, was lined with crowds,
usually several people deep and sometimes two people
high, where grownups had children up on their shoulders.
Thousands of not apparently gay people and straight
allies had come to watch, many in costume. Bunny rabbits
held hands with elves, gypsies cavorted with princesses,
flamenco dancers waved flags-and
that was just the
adults! It seems a lot of Mancunians see the parade as a
carnival~like chance to dress up and have fun, regardless
of their orientation-and
isn't that how we want our
celebrations to be?
For the nighttime concerts, I went to the VIP viewing
tent-a raised platform at the back of the audience, fea~
turing a roof and a well~stocked bar. I got a Pimms cup
(the summer drink of choice in sunny parts of Britain; also
available in Manchester) and hung around waiting for the
headliners, a band called Steps, which I was assured was a
big name in the U.K.
A tall man with a shaved head moved in front of me,
blocking my already limited view. I put a soft hand on his
prominent bicep and suggested, nicely but firmly, that he
shouldn't stand there.
"But it's Steps!" he squealed, in explanation and apology,
and obligingly sidled sideways. I gathered that he meant
he'd been so carried away that he'd neglected his usual
English (and gay) manners, and he was sorry, but he hoped
I'd understand. I did, sort of.
He and everyone else kept moving in perfect, robotic,
smiling synch with the music, swiftly changing position
with each line of the lyrics, none of which I could make
out. For me, it was just a throbbing, over~amped bass and
masses of damp, happy Brits dancing to music they'd
loved for a long time. Though they might have been
drunk, they knew their moves by heart. I wished I knew
them, too, but I liked just being there, watching. Even
though I hadn't located their breast~shaped hill, and
even though I couldn't really join in their dance, I felt
like part of their Pride. ( visitmanchester.com) ■
December 2012
I 69
LADIES'NIGHT
SOUTHOF
THEBORDER
FORMORETHAN30 YEARS,been getting their
GAYSAND LESBIANS
HAVE on at La Avispa
swerve
in San
Jose, Costa Rica. It is one of the best~known gay nightspots
in Latin America, an icon not just among the locals, but
for the thousands of tourists who now flock to Central
America for affordable vacations.
But the lesbian owner, Ana Vega, will tell you that there
have been struggles, especially in the early years, when the
police often raided the club, even though homosexuality
per se was never illegal in Costa Rica.
"They would get us into police cars as if we were animals,
take us into detention, and leave us there until 7 a.m. the
following day;' says Vega, 58, who was born and raised in
San Jose. "We would call those cars 'kennels:"
Finally, in 1990, the Constitutional Court of Costa
Rica passed laws to prohibit these raids, and while the
occasional police hassle does still occur, La Avispa (which
THELESBIAN-OWNEDNIGHTCLUB
LA AVISPASERVES
UPLIBATIONS
AND LIBERATION
TO COSTARIOXS
LESBIANSAND GAYS.
BYSHERYLKAY
means "the wasp" in Spanish) has been abuzz with high~
octane energy ever since.
Although the exterior is very unassuming, on the
inside patrons will find two floors filled with partygoers
(maximum 2,000), a pulsating dance floor, and high~tech
lighting. The place throbs at least once a month with noche
de mujeres (Ladies' Night). The music, either by DJ or a
live band, is hot, hot, hot-everything
from vibrating salsa
to hip~hop and techno. The cover charge varies depending
on the entertainment, and decent local beers are available
for $2. Beat that!
And here's something else. Costa Ricans love getting
dressed up, so some very striking ladies are sure to be in
attendance.
Vega says there is always a great party at La Avispa,
but, for her, the purpose and the impact of the club go
one step further.
"I feel great pride in being able to offer a dignified place
for our community;' says Vega, "where someone is able to
express love or eroticism with someone else, who is then
able to respond, all in a safe place:'
There are lots of gay bars in San Jose-El Bochinche
and Puchos Nightclub, both just a few blocks from La
Avispa-but almost all of them cater to men.
La Avispa is right in downtown San Jose: Calle 1, between
Avenidas 8 and 10. Any taxi driver knows the club, and it
is best to take a taxi there and back, because the surrounding
neighborhood is a bit rough.
But don't let that throw you.
Especially on Ladies' Night, La Avispa is the place to
be. (laavispa.co.cr) ■
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REVIEWSMusic Watch
Love,Musicand Mortality
A key year in the life of queer band Girlyman. By Dave Steinfeld
'Tm a firefighter-and
I like your music!"
That was one fan's response after seeing the Atlanta-based folk-pop foursome
Girlyman perform. Despite the potentially
controversial name and the fact that all four
of its members are openly queer, Girlyman
has a way of winning even the skeptics over.
That could be because their music is easy
on the ears and rooted in traditional forms.
Or maybe it's because the band members
themselves are just so likable.
Girlyman features four members-Doris
Muramatsu, Ty Greenstein, Nate Borofsky
and JJ Jones-who
all sing, write and play
various instruments.Jones, the band's most
recent addition,joining in 2010 and became
not only their first full-time drummer but
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also Muramatsu's partner. But that wasn't
the only significant change between the
release of their fourth studio album, 2009's
Everything'sEasy, and the recent follow-up,
Supernova. In the fall of 2010, Muramatsu
was diagnosed with leukemia. "We had
done a U.K. tour, our first, in September;'
she recalls. "I didn't feel right on that tour
and I just thought that I was really jetlagged. But after three weeks of feeling
jet-lagged, we came back to the States [for]
another tour. I started dropping all this
weight and was sleeping all the time in the
van. I had this low-grade fever and bruises
all over my body. And I kept craving anything that was flavored with mint. Like,
I [wanted to] eat the toothpaste! So JJ
looked up 'person craving mint all the time'
online and they were saying that people
who are anemic sometimes crave [it]. So
I was like, I'll just take some iron and I'll
feel better.
"It got to the point, though, where I was
really, really sick;' she continues. "I could
barely walk up a flight of stairs without
feeling completely winded. So we finally
went to an urgent care [center] and the
doctor there was like, Oh my God, you
have to go to the emergency room right
now. We rushed to the emergency room
and the doctor, after examining me and
doing a blood test, basically said, 'All signs
are pointing to leukemia. We'll need to
keep you for the night and we'll do tests
tomorrow to confirm it: I was shocked
because I'm a really healthy person! I
exercise and I eat well. This is the last
thing I thought would ever happen to
me. And I was really resistant to it. It
was just the beginning of a huge night~
mare:' Fortunately, that nightmare is
now on the wane. Muramatsu did endure
some chemotherapy and she is now on
a medication called Sprycel, possibly
for the rest of her life. But the good
news is that by late 2011, she was in
full remission.
While Muramatsu's brush with cancer
doesn't inform Supernova directly, it does
seep into some songs-including
the
title track. Jones explains to me that at
Girlyman's current live performances,
"Doris kind of comes out at every
show" -not about her orientation but
about having survived leukemia. "She
introduces the song 'Supernova' that
was actually written by Nate;' says the
drummer. "The supernova is a dying
star, and she did feel that way at certain
points. But supernovas also give birth
to new stars. It was like this rebirth of
Doris and the band and [our] musicspiritually, emotionally, all of that. [For a
while] she would also talk about being
really depressed about it and then com~
ing out of that. That was a whole other
form of rebirth. And at every show, at
least one person, if not multiple people,
come up and say,Tm a survivor:"
Supernova itself runs through a wide
range of human emotions. Album
opener "Nothing Left" was written and
sung by Borofsky with a harmony vocal
from Muramatsu that will take your
breath away; the song, about receiving a
life~changing phone call, is sadly beauti~
ful in its simplicity. But by the album's
final track, "Best I Could;' the mood has
lightened considerably. To these ears,
the upbeat, folky "Best I Could" sounds
like a love song from Muramatsu to
Jones. In between are other strong tunes
like "Michaelangelo" and Greenstein's
"Empire of Our State;' which features a
cameo from Emily Saliers of the Indigo
Girls. "We grew up with their music;'
says Muramatsu of Saliers and Amy
Ray. "They were idols of ours. Ty had
written [that] song and we were trying to
think of people we could ask to guest on it.
And she was like, I would really love to have
Emily on the album. So we contacted her. It
was so great to have her on our album and on
that song in particular:'
Girlyman is now back in full force, touring
behind Supernova. And even though they went
through hell to get to this point, they're focusing
on the positive these days. The love between
Jones and Muramatsu, in fact, is one thing that
helped the couple get through such a turbulent
time. 'JJ really stepped up and dealt with all my
doctors and nurses and paperwork;' she says.
"She was an amazing advocate for me when I
was sick. I couldn't have had the recovery I had
without her:' For her part, Jones adds, "[Doris]
was so fortunate; if she was going to get cancer,
this is one of the most treatable [forms].
Literally, months before she was diagnosed, the
drug that she's taking had been OK'd by the
FDA. She may even go off this drug at some
point and stay in remission. After the diagnosis,
there was almost no other bad news. So that
certainly was a different kind of experience.
Just really uplifting and life~aflirming:' Kind
of like the members of Girlyman themselves.
(girlyman.com) ■
REVIEWSIn The Stacks
Body of Work
Exploringthe sensual and the sexual with Akinfe Fatou'sSwoon. By Adam L. Brinklow
Akinfe Fatou's new poetry collection, Swoon, presents tangible
physicality, organic sensuality and multilayered intimacy intended
to arouse and to empower. Swoon, the follow~up to her 2008 collec~
tion, Once as Lovers, moves away from that first book's overt sexual
preoccupation and toward a more complex idea of the sensuous.
But first and foremost, it is poetry about the body and everything
that comes with it. "We are spiritual beings, but we're in the physical;'
Fatou says. "That's how we relate, flesh to flesh, as opposed to that
spiritual connection right off the bat:'
Swoon certainly puts readers in mind of the flesh: "I kiss the blood
/ And raise the flesh / You left behind / [... ] I tasted your skin;'
reads "Square of 5th's;' one of Fatou's own favorites in the collection.
Another of her favorites, "Evenings Like These;' presents a quieter
but no less tangible vignette of physicality: 'J\ll the lovers / Nudging
one another / [... ] Pretending to read / Each other's palms:'
Even a poem as seemingly immaterial as "Languedoc" (entire
poem: 'J\bove all / I am just a woman / Wanting ... / To share my
world / With you") contains a hidden link to sensual experience:
The title refers to Fatou's favorite wine, one you can almost taste on
the tip of the tongue when you read the word aloud. Fatou talks a lot
about spirituality and emotional journeys, but Swoon's language is
grounded, overt and above all, tactile."Touch is natural and healthy
when given and received in a manner that honors the other person;'
Fatou says. "It's how we encounter the world:'
Whereas Fatou's first collection of poems was largely about sex,
with Swoon she wanted to encompass more than that. Bodies are
sexual, sure, but when we associate bodies only with sex we create
a barrier, she says. 'Tm always wanting to highlight our bodies, our
minds and our spirits. We shouldn't be hiding or misrepresenting
ourselves. People see the body and consider it taboo, but we're
better than that:'
The photograph on the cover of the book shows a naked
woman's midsection-her
stomach, her hips and the underside of
her breasts, beaded with perspiration and caressed by the contrast
of light and shadow. No doubt about it, it's hot, but Fatou reminds
us that there's more going on than that: The hips, the breasts and
the womb are all symbolic of life and of nurturing, and the nudity
reflects what Fatou calls 'genuineness;' but what we might also call
earnestness and openness.
Fatou's poetry combines bursts of short, austere lines with
bombastic imagery to create a feeling that is encompassing and
illustrative but still clipped and sometimes stripped. She sways back
and forth between gauzy romanticism and startling frankness, as in
the title poem, which opens with "Tonics, good spells & / Flower
essences;' but soon veers off into "Cum saturated articles of clothing /
Intermingling breast / With spilled cocktails:' Close the book and
the quiet, pastoral eloquence of"Trees glazed in/ Snowflakes"butts
up face to face with "Savage like / Fuck noises / From ligament to
74
I curve
/ Ligament" on the opposite page. Fatou's lines celebrate the body,
but she doesn't shy away from the fact that bodies aren't always
pretty. Fatou is a romantic, but she's a clear~eyed, unflinching
romantic, and even the ugly can become appealing in the light of
her earnest appreciation.
Fatou is a clear-eyed, unflinching
romantic, and even the ugly can
become appealing in the light of
her earnest appreciation.
While largely a personal reflection on people's relationships,
both with each other and with themselves, Swoon carries a certain
political and social resonance, as Fatou considers herself a queer
feminist artist. The poems' statements on the body, particularly
on women's bodies, aflirm the individual but push back against
society. "You see a lot of ads, and there's a lot of music videos and
rhetoric that paints the image of the body, especially for women, as
almost like a tool or a toy;' Fatou says. "There's a lot of disrespectful
material objectifying it. We need to shift away from bodies being
objectified:'
Not all of the poems in Swoon dwell on the anatomy. There are
poems about purely emotional experiences, poems about urban life
and landscapes, and above all poems about Fatou's interest in the
people around her. Her declaration in"Languedoc" about wanting to
share her world applies not just to friends and lovers but, seemingly,
to the entire human race, and certainly to her readers. 'Tm a loving
person, period;' she says, and that openness and sincere affection
ornaments her work.
Fatou grew up in Washington, D.C., and attended Howard
University. On top of being a poet she's also an activist, currently
laboring on The Akinfe Fatou Project, a program to promote
visibility for women of color in the arts, and a third collection of
poetry is in the works as well. ■
SWAN SONGS
Two narratives explore the end of loving
relationships between women.
Tealeaves:A Memoirof Mothersand
JanetMason(BellaBooks):
Daughters,
Overthe pastseveralyears,a newsubgenreof lesbianmemoirhasemerged.
Itfocusesonwhathappenswhenthe
writerchooses
to returnhometo care
for herelderlyor dyingmother.Inthe
process,
bothmotheranddaughterbegin
to workthroughthedynamicsof their
(oftencontentious)
relationship.
Overall,
this kindof memoiris notentirelynew,as
straightwomenhavebeenwritingabout
theseexperiences
for years-take,for
example,
Jo Maeder'sWhenI MarriedMy
Mother.It makessensethatthespecific
subjectmatterof thesenewmemoirs
wouldappealto the generation
of lesbian
readerswhohavemovedfar beyondthe
coming-out
novelsof the '80s.Butfor the
writersthemselves-nowcaretaking
their
agingparents,
turningtowardratherthan
awayfromtheirmothersin particular,
and
grapplingwiththeirownmortality-this
is traversinguncharted
waters.Following
the much-heralded
publication
of both
ChanaWilson'sRidingFuryHomeand
AlisonBechdel's
graphicmemoirAre You
MyMother?,TeaLeavesis moresubtle
andperhapsnotasstrong;nonetheless,
it hasits lovelymoments.
Mason,who
left herfactory-worker
rootsbehindto
becomea journalist,wondersif hermother
is proudof heraccomplishments,
or if she
harborsresentment:
"I mighthavefelt
guiltybecauseI waslivingoutmy mother's
ambitions.Morethananything
else,my motherhadwantedan
education.Thiswasn'tpossiblefor her...
so shedid the onlythingshecould.She
passedherdreamsdownto herdaughter."
Inthe time Masonspendscaringfor her
mother,shebecomesnewlyawareof
the memoriesandthefeministsensibilitiestheyshare,andthe pridetheyhave
in eachother.Afterhermother'sdeath,
Masonstates,"Writingthis memoir
enabledmeto continuemyconversationwith my mother... Thewriting,and
the contemplation
of thoselivesthat led
to mine-my grandmother's
andmy
mother's-gavemean understanding
of myselfthattranscended
my lifetime,"
wordsthat manywomen,especially
thosewho havesharedsuchan experience,will cherish.
in her20s,andJordan,a conartistmore
than1Oyearshersenior.Jordan,a controllingandvolatileborderline
personality
(Andrea
callsherthe CriminalMastermind),
is ableto keepAndreahookedwith
excitingsex,unpredictable
behavior
and
theirsharedobsession
witha band,Cry
Wolf.Ledbythe enigmaticlesbiansinger
Adrienne
andherbrotherPeter,CryWolf
is the musicalcenterpiece
of the book.
Manyof thedetailsof JordanandAndrea's
loveaffairrevealthemselves
whilethe
womenwait in linefor,or attend,CryWolf
concerts.
Thereis evenanappendixlisting
"Adrienne's
bestclothes,"andseveral
pagesof Andrea's"CryWolfconcerts
attended,"
whichspana decade,
fromJuly
1988throughSeptember
2008,andtake
placemostlyin citiesaroundLosAngeles
andChicago,
wherethe characters
live.
does
HerselfWhenShe'sMissing,
SarahTerez Infact,oneof thethingsRosenblum
bestis to createa Chicago
cityscape
that
Rosenblum
(SoftSkullPress):Previous
epicenterof
reviewshavepointedoutthatSarahTerez functionsastheemotional
thesetwoyounglesbians'lives.Andrea's
Rosenbaum's
debutnovel,HerselfWhen
tripsto BelmontHarborandWrigleyField,
She'sMissing,is bothsexyandedgy.But
herdrinksin Boystown
andmealsat
thatdescription
alonedoesn'tdojustice
the ChicagoDiner,andevenherjaunts
to thisgrittystoryof girl lovegonewrong.
to nearbycitieslikeMadison,
Wisc.,are
Rosenbaum's
bookasksusto considera
perfectlyportrayed.
Ultimately,
though,
multilayered
question:
Cana womanlove
anotherwomanif shedoesnottrusther,
HerselfWhenShe'sMissingis aboutthe
andhowcanthatwomanresistlosing
exhilaration
andurgencyof a relationship
herselfin the process?
Thisgripping,
overwhichAndreahaslittlecontrol.Except,
psychologically
poignantnovelportraysthe perhaps,
whenit is finally,blessedly,
over.
longloveaffairbetween
Andrea,a teacher [RachelPepper]
December 2012
I 75
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
Titillating
TuckyWilliams
The Girl/GirlScene creator dishes on the secrets behind the sexy series. By Emelina Minero
Web~savvy dykes are already familiar with
lezzie bombshell Tucky Williams, creator
and lead actor of the hit web series, Girl/
Girl Scene. The show delves into the lives
of a group of lesbians in their 20s in
Lexington, Ken.-and in its second series
has added Abisha Uhl of the lezzie band
Sick of Sarah as a full~time cast member,
offering yet another reason why Girl/ Girl
Sceneis must~stream TV. But the true story
of Williams proves to be more fascinating
than the fiction. From awkward kid, to
meteorologist, to horror movie heroine
and finally online entrepreneur, Williams
blazed her own trail while trying to find
where she fit in. Now Williams comes
clean about how a secret crush inspired the
series and how living with epilepsy has
transformed both her art and her life.
Tellusyourtruelife story.
I was born. I experienced existential despair
since day one. I had a wonderful mother. I
was dissatisfied with my life at the age of
four, and I decided that I wanted to pursue
acting. I didn't like school very much, so
I dropped out in the sixth grade. I home
schooled, and I was very lonely, and then
I went to college way too young. I felt
misunderstood because I looked like I was
college age because I was 6 feet tall. And
I wanted to be a model, and I thought I
was going to be a model, but it was right
before that time when they switched over
to being like Claudia Schiffer and Cindy
Crawford to being really, really thin. So, I
didn't make the cut. [Laughs.] I tried to go
down a normal path in life, and I got the
meteorology degree and the journalism
degree, and again I was dissatisfied. So I
did Girl/ Girl Sceneand it turns out it made
me really happy.
Dida girlinspireGirl/GirlScene?
There was this girl I really liked, and I
wanted to get her attention. So, [I thought]
if I wrote this big gay thing and got known
for being gay, she might pay attention to
me. That's the truth. I never said that in an
interview before. I want to get this girl's
attention. [Laughs]
Didit work?
No, still working on it. It wouldn't be any
fun if I already got her attention. Not yet.
Hopefully soon.
Howhasthe showchangedyourlife?
My whole life is lesbian because of the
show. I don't even think about it anymore.
I love being a lesbian. I love it. I'm so happy
5
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76
I curve
2012 STATEMENT OF OWNERSHIP
Publication
Title:Curve.
Publication
No.:0010-355.
FilingDate:Oct1, 2012
IssueFrequency:
MonthlyexceptbimonthlyJan/Feband July/Aug.
Numberof IssuesPublished
Annually:1O
AnnualSubscription
Price:$59.90
CompleteMailingAddress:POBox467
NewYorkNY10034.
ContactPerson:SilkeBader
Telephone:
(415)871-0569
Publisher:
SilkeBader
POBox467 NewYorkNY10034
Editor:MerrynJohns
POBox467 NewYorkNY10034
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Publication
Title:Curve.IssueDatefor
CirculationData:Dec12. ExtentandNature
of Circulation:
AverageNo.CopiesEach
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12 Months:A)Total
No.CopiesNetPressRun:56,505.B)Paid
Circulation.
(ByMailandOutsidethe Mail)(1)
MailedOutside-County
PaidSubscriptions
Statedon Form3541:12,603;(2) Mailed
In-CountyPaidSubscriptions
Statedon Form
3541:O;(3) PaidDistributionOutsidethe
MailsIncludingSales_roughDealersand
Carriers,StreetVendors,CounterSales,and
OtherPaidDistribution
outsideUSPS:
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Freeor NominalRateOutside-County
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includedon Form3541:O;(2) Freeor Nominal
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Copiesof Single
IssuePublishedNearestto FilingDateA)Total
No.CopiesNetPressRun:52,237.
§
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I love being a lesbian.
I love it. I'm so happy
I'm a lesbian.It's not
an afterthought.I
love everysecond of
it. But I just expect
everyoneto be a
lesbian.I just think
everyonelivesin
my bubble.
I'm a lesbian. It's not an afterthought. I love
every second of it. But I just expect every~
one to be a lesbian. I just think everyone
lives in my bubble.
Whatotherthingsdoyouwantfromtheshow,
besides
wooingyourmysterylady?
(Laughs] I want more people to see it
of course. That's really important. I just
want people to know it's out there. I think
it's so great now. With season two, I love
absolutely everything about it, everything.
The more people who see it, the more it's
going to reach people. I just have so much
fun doing it, and I love Kayden [Kross] and
Abisha (Uhl] so much. I love spending time
with them.
Speakingof AbishaUhl,is she a permanent
castmembernow?
B)PaidCirculation.
(ByMailandOutside
the Mail)(1)MailedOutside-County
Paid
Subscriptions
Statedon Form3541:11,543;
(2)MailedIn-CountyPaidSubscriptions
Stated
on Form3541:O;(3) PaidDistributionOutside
the MailsIncludingSales_roughDealersand
Carriers,StreetVendors,CounterSales,and
OtherNon-USPS:
25,457;(4) PaidDistribution
by OtherClassesof Mail_ roughthe USPS:
1,250.C)TotalPaidDistribution:
38,250.D)
Freeor NominalRateDistribution(byMailand
Outsidethe Mail):(1) Freeor NominalRate
Outside-County
as Statedon Form3541:O;
(2)Freeor NominalRateIn-CountyCopies
includedon Form3541:O;(3) Freeor Nominal
RateDistributionMailedat OtherClasses
45; (4) Freeor Nominal
_ roughthe USPS:
RateDistributionOutsidethe Mail:12,699.
E)TotalFreeor NominalRateDistribution:
12,744.F)TotalDistribution:
50,994.G)Copies
NotDistributed:1,243.H)Total:52,237.I)
of Statementof
PercentPaid:75%.Publication
Ownership:
Dec2012
December 2012
I 77
REVIEWSSapphic Screen
I don't know anything about season three
yet. I know I want to keep working with
Abisha forever, for as long as possible. She's
an amazing talent. It's not fair that someone
would excel at two things, you know, acting
and music, but she does.
Youhavebecomevocalabouthavingepilepsy.
Tellusmoreaboutthat.
I'm talking about it in my interviews, and I'm
GrrrlLoveand
Revolution:
Riot
Grrr/NYC
ChelyWrightrockedthe SwedishstunnerNoami (WMMReleasing}
countrymusicworld
Rapace
first blewus
whenshecameout in awaywithherturnas
It's easyto lookback
2010.Herstorywas
LisbethSalander
inthe at riotgrrrlwith rosesplashed
acrossthe
Millennium
seriesand
coloredglasses.
The
coverof Peopleand
shecontinues
to take
movement,
with its
curve andsheeven on boldandriveting
celebration
of girlhood
sharedherstoryin a
roles.ThistimeRapace andits callto fight back
varietyof TVinterviews starsas Dr.Elizabeth
againstthe patriarchy,
includingOprahand
Shaw,a scientist
wasresponsible
for
TheToday
Show.But
leadingthechargeinto helpingmanyyoung
beforeherverypublic deepspaceto discover womento discover
comingout,Wright
theoriginof mankind. theirvoicesas musihadliveda carefully- However,
insteadof
cians,activistsandas
guardedlifesofull
findinghumanity's
feminists.WhileGrrrl
creatorshemayhave
of secrets,fearand
LoveandRevolution
shameit nearlykilled
stumbleduponour
is notthefirstfilm to
her.WishMeAway
destruction.
Thisquasi- document
the era,
documents
herjourney Alienprequelalso
whatmakesit so interfromclosetedcountry costarsCharlize
Theron estingthatit's madeup
starto outLGBT
activist. asthesteelyMeredith of footageandinterToldthroughinterviews, Vickerswhorepresents viewsshotduringthe
archivalfootageand
thecorporate
interest
actualmovement.
The
confessional
video
behindthe mission.
The documentary
focuses
journals,WishMeAway film harksbackto the
onthe N.Y.C.
scene
laysbarethewoman
slowburnsci-fiof the
andoffersa glimpseof
behindthe headlines '?Osandfeaturessome whatriotgrrrlmeant
andis bothilluminating of the mostdazzlingart to theyoungwomen
andraw.It explores
directionandsetpieces involved.
Butbestof
bothherfearsandher in cinematichistory.
all,it illuminates
the
triumphsasshebravely Fansof RidleyScott's
powerfulpotentialof
decidesto tell theworld originalAlienaresure
motivated
women-a
whoshereallyis. Don't to enjoythe latestentry welcomemessage
in
today'spoliticalclimate.
missthisone!
inthisseries.
WishMeAway
(FirstRunFeatures}
78
I curve
Prometheus
(20thCenturyFox}
ness,but we weren'ttold what she suffered
from.Why?
When I was telling people [about my epilepsy]
for a long time before it got under control,
I was going around saying, I'm really scared
I'm going to die. And they would go, Oh,
no, no, no, no, you're not going to die from
that. As soon as people find out something
is wrong with you, they want to know what
it is so they can put a label on it, and
they want to make it so that they
can justify that everything is going
to be OK. With Katie having that
[unnamed] condition, I didn't want
people to know what it was because
I wanted them to know that it didn't
matter.
Canyougiveus anyhintson howseasontwowill playout?
RedWhite+ Raw:
I'm really happy with this season. I
TheKathyGriffin
said to the new directors: It's really
Collection
important-my
priority is show~
(Shout!Factory}
ing girls kissing. [Laughs] We need
that this season. That needs to be
Saucystraightally
the focus. Show lots of girls kissing
KathyGriffinhasmade
because
that's what's going to draw
a stellarstand-up
people into the story.
careerfromtelling
Onelastquestion:
Whoisthegirlyou're
outrageous
taleson her
fellowcelebsandshe
crushing
on?Spill!
doessowithshameIt's a secret! I haven't told anyone
lessaplombin Red,
who it is. And plenty of people have
White+ Raw.From
asked me, and I just cannot talk
herrun-inwiththe
about it. If this never works out,
Kardashians
to hernotthen what would be the point of the
so-subtlesmackdown
■
show? (girlgirlscene.com)
of notedhomophobe
MicheleBachmann,
Griffinhasourback
andticklesourfunny
bonein equalmeasure.
Wejust can'tget
enoughof thisfunny
ladybutwith Red,
White+ Rawwe get
closebecause
this
riotouscollection
featuressevenof the
comic'scomedy
specials,including
Ballsof Steel,Guurl
DownandTired
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nowuncutand
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::5
uncensored.
Thisis a
~
w
must-watch
for any
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Griffinfan.
getting a lot of fan mail from girls who are
saying that they didn't think they could have
a life before, and then they watch my show
and feel better. This [show] has helped them
such a great deal just to be able to identify
with me, and then of course my character
[Evan] who started to have seizures this
season.
In seasononeKatieStewarthasa terminalill-
5
(/)
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I 79
STARS
Festive, Footloose and Fancy Free As Venus slides into adventurous
Sagittarius, grab some holly under the mistletoe. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
Anything that you decide to do this December will
benefit you and spread your power and influence
into new territories. So be an explorer and get going.
Ladies who you meet now will take you to the next
step. New projects and ideas have the capacity to take
you up and out. Hop on.
Gemini(May22-June 21)
Canoodle with your lady all through the holiday season
and find ways to spoil her with as many lavish treats as
affordable. For those Twins who are seeking their soul~
mates, expand your search by checking out unusual
venues in out~of~the~way locations. You never know
who is waiting for you in some faraway paradise.
Capricorn(Dec.23-Jan. 20)
You will be surprised at who pulls you under the mis~
tletoe this December. Why ask whyr Just enjoy the
surprising adoration and resolve to make your holiday
season a series of luscious love affairs. Spread a little
of your largesse around and see how your personal oil
quickly heats up cooks. I see a feast in your future.
Cancer(June22-July 23)
It will be too easy to fall into the role of drone at work,
while everyone else parties. You may find that job tasks
are a relaxing escape from all of the holiday tumult. But
more likely, you really tarry at the office because there
is a certain lovely lady there and you are looking for
any excuse to just hang around. See if you can perk her
up while she grabs a cup of coffee in the lunchroom.
Aquarius(Jan.21-Feb.19)
Find reserves of energy to attend as many holiday
group happenings as possible. Join new organizations
that can expand your social circle into a globe. You'll be
the center of attention as gal pals vie for your affection.
Make good use of your sudden burst of charisma to
get who you want, what you want, when you want and
how you want it.
Leo(July24-Aug.23)
The holiday party season opens with a flourish. You
are on all the A~level lists and will only be constrained
by your energy level and tight schedule. Relationships
can be made, played and splayed. So be discerning
with your time and attention. Choose those events
where you expand your creativity and feel inspired.
Pisces(Feb.20-March 20)
There is almost too much going on behind the scenes
to make much sense of it all. But if you can pull back
and focus on the big picture and become attuned to its
various movements and cycles, your intuition will help
you navigate any professional potholes. December is a
month to recalibrate your ambitions.
Virgo(Aug.24-Sept.23)
December is a great time to concentrate on your domes~
tic agenda whether that means moving, redecorating
or just hanging around the house with a bunch of
bosom buddies. I vote for the latter. Plan some relax~
ing holiday festivities designed to make your home a
desirable destination for your adoring fan club.
Aries(March21-April 20)
Stoke your passion for exotic romance by getting out
of your comfort zone this December. Try something
or someone new. Move and groove in different social
groups, gate~crash a private holiday party of notables
or even pick up and travel to a new destination where
anything goes-and it will!
Libra(Sept.24-0ct. 23)
Libras are particularly charming this December and
why notr You have ample charisma and charm and
you seem to know just what to say and when to say it.
This gives you access to some exclusive holiday events.
Put your words into action as you plug into the party
circuit. See who you can connect with and light up.
Taurus(April21-May 21}
Not only are you especially sexy this December, you
are also able to make some important inroads in your
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is
theauthorofHerScopes: career by impressing the powers~that~be. Let's see how
you maneuver through your office holiday party. I do
A Guideto Astrology
not recommend sitting on the Xerox machine with
for Lesbians
(Simon&
your pants down. That is one impression you don't
Schuster)
(tinyurl.com/HerScopes).
Nowavailableasan ebook.
want to make.
Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22)
Most of us worry about finances this time of year,
but not you. December can bring a flush of funds as
your careful investment strategies begin to pay off.
For those Sapphic Scorpios who have been less than
diligent, there may still be a small pot of gold waiting
for you at the end of the rainbow. Try to save it for a
rainy day. ■
Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec.22)
Sagittarianstreat everyone
fairly andhonestlyandexpect
the sametreatmentin return.
Woeto the fool whotries
to imposetheir intolerant
attitudeson her! Nuclear
fallout is a picnicin the park
comparedto the venomshe
can unleashwith that divinely
sharptongue.Sagittarian
mamasgo for the jugularin
an argument-becausethey
can.Whateverpainsyouthe
mostbecomesfodderfor her
attack.Amazinglythough,
oncethe tiradeis overshe
is backto beingherfriendly
self-no grudgesheld,
at leastnot by her.
Hey,forgiveandforget.
so I curve
x
§
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