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Description
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ToC Latina Laugh Track by Kathy Belge (p38); Mom Plus: Tracy Ryerson by Jenny Block (p40); Straight to Gay Conversion by Emma Tehrenfeld (p50); Pride Pioneer: Edith Windsor by Victoria A. Brownworth (p52); Dazzling Diva: Patricia Racette by Merryn Johns (p56); Shutter Bug: Dese'rae L. Stage by Elizabeth Nguyen (p64); Cover: The Fosters [Teri Polo & Sheri Saum] story by Laurie K. Schenden (p68); Madrid for Mujeres by Merryn Johns (p72); Cover Photo by Andrew Eccles
See all items with this value
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Pride Issue
See all items with this value
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issue
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5
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Date Issued
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June 2013
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol23_No5_June-2013_OCR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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MADONNA
TRACY RYERSON
MINUTES
TO
ULTIMATE
FITNESS
(YES,
IT'S
THAT
EASY}
COOL
QUEER
WHO
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JUNE 2013 VOLUME 23#5
~BEST
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PLACES TO WORK
2013 for LGBT Equality
JUNE
2013
FEATURES
LATINA LAUGH TRACK
Queer Queen of Qomedy alum Mimi
Gonzalez on the new butch-femme,
playing in P-town and what keeps
her laughing. By Kathy Beige
MOM PLUS: TRACY RYERSON
Acting, modeling, producing,
writing and being a mom ...is
there anything she can't do?
By Jenny Block
STRAIGHT TO GAY CONVERSION
Got a straight girl crush? Science
says she may cross over.
By Emma Tehrenfeld
PRIDE PIONEER: EDITH WINDSOR
Our tribute to the octogenarian
who is pushing the gay marriage
debate toward victory.
By Victoria A. Brownworth
DAZZLING DIVA: PATRICIA RACETTE
The award-winning opera star on
being out, proud and taking a
detour. By Merryn Johns
SHUTTER BUG: DESE'RAE L. STAGE
The lesbian portrait photographer
shakes off the stigma of suicide
with portraits of survivors.
By Elizabeth Nguyen
MADRID IS FOR MUJERES
From delectable cuisine, to its
thriving queer nightlife, Madrid
beckons lesbians.
By Merryn Johns
COVER PHOTO BY ANDREW ECCLES
JUNE
2013
CURVE
1
JUNE
2013
IN EVERYISSUE
6
EDITOR'S NOTE
8
FEEDBACK
10
CURVETTES
12
THE GAYDAR
28
SCENE
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////,
TRENDS
REVIEWS
13 THIS IS WHAT A
LESBIAN LOOKS LIKE
29
Business student Kryzia
Salgado.
14
PRIDE GIFT GUIDE
Let your Pride flag fly with
multi-color gear and goods.
16
BEAUTY
Summer glam is all about
protection and pops of color.
18
LESBOFILE
VIEWS
OUT IN FRONT Meet the
women changing the world
for LGBT folks.
20
20 IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT ... News from across the
MUSIC
Canadian Sarah Smith left the
military for a full time music
career. By Cheryl Mazak
31
FILM
Andrea Wing is changing the
way we watch movies and
bringing lesbian cinema to
women around the globe.
By Elizabeth Estochen
33
BOOKS
Queer Latina Cristy C. Road
takes on traditional values
with her punk aesthetic.
By Tina Vasquez
36
TECH
The skinny on the sexy new,
ultra-thin Acer laptop.
By Randy Nelson
country.
21
POLITICS
The Violence Against Women
Act passed-but will it actually
make a difference, for us?
By Victoria A. Brownworth
24
LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Our butch and femme lesbian
advice gurus solve your relationship problems.
2
CURVE
JUNE
2013
STYLE
42
QUEER COUTURE
The New York City fashion
scene gets a lift with a lesbian
designer's radical creations.
By Elizabeth Estochen
46
SUITS US
The trend in male tailoring
for women is giving rise to
numerous lesbian-owned
fashion companies.
By Celeste Lecompte
Curve's online selection of must-do, must-try, must-have extras.
HOT LICKS: HANNAH THOMAS
If you don't know Hannah Thomas, you will soon,
because this newly-out rocking blues singer has been
wowing critics and teaming up with Grammy-winning
artists. The rising star talks about working with lesbian
icon Amy Ray, the inspiration behind her new album,
and how coming out has affected her fans (spoiler
alert: it's earned her a whole lot of new ones!).
PRIDE GUIDE
GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION
Are you a femme who loves other
femmes but does't feel represented
in mainstream culture, or that
feels rejected by queer support
groups or even LGBT media?
Meet Jodi Savitz, the young
femme lesbian-identified filmmaker who is challenging queer
stereotypes and bringing the
untold stories of femmes to the
big screen. Learn how to become
a part of her project to make sure
all our stories are told.
What are the
country's biggest,
hottest, queerest
Pride events and
parties for women?
At curvemag.com
you'll find plenty of
information to help
you celebrate Pride
2013 in a way you'll
never forget. Visit
family and friends,
march or party with
pride, and revel in
all of the rainbow
achievements of the
past year.
A
NEW
ABC
FAMILY
ORIGINAL
How do you define family?
Share your pride.
From Executive Producer Jennifer Lopez
SERIES
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
Proud
Indeed
JUNE 2013
»
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME
23 NUMBER
5
PUBLISHERSilke Bader
FOUNDINGPUBLISHERFrances Stevens
EDITORIAL
ast year, in my Editor's Letter, I
wrote about the fragility of the rain~
bow flag as a symbol of activism
and the increasing fragmentation of
LGBT activist groups. In the face
of a right~wing assault in an election year,
my concerns seemed valid.
But a lot can happen-and
has-in a
year, and I feel thrilled and proud to have
been part of it. Just look at what weve
achieved since last summer:
Three states, Maine, Maryland and
Washington, legalized same~sex marriage
by popular vote; civil unions are now recog~
nized in Delaware, Hawaii and Colorado.
The Office of Fair Housing and Equal Opportunity issued regulations to
ensure that housing programs are open to all eligible persons, regardless of
sexual preference or gender identity.
Two American school districts celebrated LGBT History Month for the
first time-Broward County, Fla., and Los Angeles.
Same~sex marriages were held at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point
for Lieutenant Ellen Schick and her partner, Shannon Simpson, and veteran
Brenda Sue Fulton and her partner, Penelope Dara Gnesin.
Berkeley, Calif., declared Sept. 23 Bisexual Pride and Bi Visibility Day; San
Francisco voted to become the first U.S. city to cover the cost of sex reassign~
ment surgery for uninsured transgender residents.
Tammy Baldwin (D~Wisc.) became the first openly gay or lesbian person
to be elected to the U.S. Senate; Kyrsten Sinema (D~Ariz.) became the first
openly bisexual person elected to the U.S. Congress. Outgoing Secretary of
State Hillary Clinton continued to promote gay rights globally.
LPAC, the first lesbian super PAC, was created to represent the interests of
lesbians in the United States and to campaign on LGBT and women's rights,
while the Violence Against Women Act was renewed and extended to protect
same~sex couples.
Edie Windsor, the 83~year~old plaintiff in United States v. Windsor, went
gunning for DOMA and single~handedly created a watershed moment in gay
rights history.
That's a lot to be proud of-especially when Russia drafted anti~gay legisla~
tion and half a million Parisians took to the streets to protest gay marriage, at
around the same time that President Obama gave us a shout~out of support in
his inauguration speech.
I'm proud that the United States has reminded the world of what it's good
at: liberty and justice for all. Among the rainbow flags this Pride, I'd like to see
the star~spangled banner in the colors of the spectrum.
L
~·
MER~
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
merryn@curvemag.com
6
CURVE
JUNE
2013
EDITORIN CHIEF Merryn Johns
MANAGINGEDITOR Rachel Shatto
BOOKREVIEWEDITOR Rachel Pepper
COPYEDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Jillian Eugenios, Sheryl Kay, Jess McAvoy,
Stephanie Schroeder
EDITORIAL
ASSISTANTSElizabeth Estochen, Elizabeth Nguyen
PROOFREADER
Elizabeth Harper
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONSJeannie Sotheran
ADVERTISING
CURVE'SMEDIAKIT ourmediakit,com
NATIONALSALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
BUSINESSDEVELOPMENT
Sallyanne Monti (510) 545-4986, sallyanne@curvemag,com
ART/PRODUCTION
ARTDIRECTORStefanie Liang
PRODUCTIONARTIST Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Jenny Block, Adam L.
Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Traci
Dinwiddie, Maria De La 0, Jill Goldstein, Lisa Gunther,
Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall, Kim Hoffman, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Jess
McAvoy, Ariel Messman-Rucker, Emelina Minero, Laurie
K. Schenden, Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson,
Allison Steinberg, Stella & Lucy, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull,
Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce, Tina Vasquez, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Alex Styles, Meagan Cignoli,
JD Disalvatore, Sophia Hantzes, Janet Mayer, Syd London,
Cheryl Mazak, Maggie Parker, Leslie Van Stelten
CONTACT INFO
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Volume 23 Issue 5 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published
monthly (except for bimonthly January/February and July/
August) by Avalon Media, LLC, PO Box 467, New York NY 10034,
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written permission from the publisher, Publication of the name
or photograph of any persons or organizations appearing,
advertising or listing in Curve may not be taken as an indication
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Share your most compelling Live Proud moment and
you could win two tickets to a VIP concert with Adam
Lambert. What's a Live Proud moment? It's a moment
that will empower and inspire. Perhaps it's holding
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Submit to www.attliveproud.com.
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Ten(10)winnerswill be selectedduringthe contestperiod.One(1)winnerwill be selectedon May6, 2013;seven(7)winnerswill be chosenon June17,2013;
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Community In Transition
Beautiful Bodies
The Body Issue was the best issue
ever [Vol. 23#4] ! The topics are
right on the money! Keep up the
great work! -Sin Le Roux, San
Jose, Calif.
Meaningful May
Just finished reading the May
issue, it was great! So many of
the topics were near and dear to
my heart-how do you do that?
I have to say, the article "Dani
Girl;' and how she was motivated
to work out, by her desire, to be
able to care for her paraplegic
girlfriend was especially touching.
-Elizabeth Hall, Livonia, Mich.
I want to thank Curve for
publishing, "Do You Take this
Trans Man" [Vol. 23#3]. I
found it uplifting to see a lesbian
magazine taking a stand to help
the transgender community
and the issues we face. I am a
62-year-old lesbian transwoman
who has been dealing with the
LGBT community for over 35
years. I started transitioning
in 1980 and identified as a
lesbian since then. Yes, I have
found the LGBT community
welcoming, however, when I
have dated other lesbians in the
community, they have made
it clear to date me was not
acceptable. The cotton ceiling is
a theory proposed by trans porn
star and activist Drew De Veaux
to explain the experiences
transwomen have with
simultaneous social inclusion
and sexual exclusion within the
broader lesbian community. The
theory of the cotton ceiling is
useful in identifying the dynamic
transwomen are experiencing,
and is meant to open up
conversation around this issue for
transwomen lesbians like mysel£
-Jane M. Adams, San Francisco
S°''.'.
Nah, I'm happy with my
10 domestic partnership
IFDOMA
ISREPEALED,
DO
YOU
PLAN
ON
HEADING
DOWN
THE
AISLE?
0
Curve magazine,
New York, NY 10034
WRITE
LISIPO Box 467,
Send to:
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Fax: 510.380.7487
Online: curvemag.com/letters
8
CURVE
JUNE
2013
' believe
I've been a subscriber to Curve
for years. The reason I read it is
because it's a lesbian magazinenot a gay men's, straight men's,
transmen's or any kind of men's
magazine. I love men from all of
those categories, but they're not
lesbians. Let them publish their
own magazines. It feels like lesbians are being marginalized by
men, even in a lesbian magazine.
Enough already! Thanks for listening. -Diane Schuette, Center
Conway, N.H.
On March 28, an activist named
Red Durkin posted a petition
on Change.org asking artists and
attendees to boycott the Michigan
Womyn's Music Festival until
organizers fully and openly welcome all self-identified women.
This petition has intensified a
long-running debate about and
within the Festival, a debate that
has often included intense misrepresentations about the political
heart of this gathering. There is
no doubt that complex political
debate is healthy and necessary
within our communities; however,
a boycott, within this context,
fails to advance resolution and
only seeks to exact damage. As
the Festival's producer for her full
38 years, I write today to clarify
the festival's herstory, intention
and my desire for understanding within our communities, as
well as to clarify where I stand
on these issues. I have listened, I
have talked, I have struggled, and
I will continue to do so. I do not
fear our differences. But I do fear
the harm being done to the space
held so dear by so many-the
space known around the world
as "Michigan'' - by the way this
conflict is playing out. And thus
I hope you will consider what I
have to say with an open heart
and open mind, as I pledge to
Subscriber Services are now available at
curvemag.com/customerservice.
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Loving Beth Ditto here ...
-Kelly Kanojo Morrison
The Gossip's a killer band
-Brandi Nicole Tash
Love seeing Beth Ditto
on the cover. She
rocks by not giving
into industry pressure
to change her body.
-Courtney Cates
POST
OF
THE
MONTH
My Curvecollection,
I've kept every issue
I'veever owned. I find
myselfgoingback to
them as reference
materials.If the spine
[or] cover is missingit
meanseither Melissa
Etheridgeor Uh Huh
Her was on the cover
& I've removedit & the
article to put them in
my scrapbooks.
-Lauren T. Cox
continue to listen to the diversity
of voices in this struggle. [Read
the full letter at curvemag.com.]
-Lisa Vogel, Walhalla. Mich.
Beautiful Bonus
I notice that Curve is now regularly running beauty advice and
fashion features. I'd like to thank
you for that. It's such a relief to
get everything I'm interested in
from the one magazine instead
of having to look in straight
women's magazines, which don't
speak to me. - Karen Pendlebury,
Toronto, Canada
100% CORPORATE EQUALITY INDEJ\
PNCBANK
UPRONT!CURVETTES
LAURIESCHENDEN
JOAN LIPKIN
ELIZABETHNGUYEN
TEMMA EHRENFELD
For more than a decade
Laurie Schenden has covered
the entertainment industry
for Curve, the Los Angeles
Times and Germany's
Spotlight magazine and is
the entertainment editor of
GoWEHO.com. Her cover
stories for Curve have included
Sharon Stone, Melissa
Etheridge, the cast of The L
Word and in this issue she
interviews The Fosters co-stars
Teri Polo and Sherri Saum.
Laurie is also an award-winning
documentary filmmaker and
one of the co-creators of the
Laughing Matters film series,
seen on Logo.
Joan Lipkin is the Artistic
Director of That Uppity Theatre
Company. She co-produced
the 2013 Briefs Festival of Short
LGBT Plays, which premiered
her play, Are You Married? She
has been published in
anthologies, including Here
Come the Brides, Out &
Allied, Upstaging, Big Daddy:
Directing as if Race and Gender
Matter, and her play The State
of Marriage was recently
featured in American Theatre.
Joan is a James F. Hornback
Ethical Humanist, recipient of a
Visionary award, and 2012 Arts
Innovator of the Year. Current
projects include The DisAbility
Project, The Big, Fat, LGBT
Show and Kaleidoscope at
Yale University.
Editorial assistant Elizabeth
Nguyen is an ardent feminist
whose adventures in soulsearching involve sampling
ice cream, watching anime,
cuddling with neighborhood
cats and dancing wildly when
no one is looking. When
not slaving away at Curve,
Elizabeth is working on a
collection of short stories
featuring lesbians of color. For
this issue, she had the pleasure
of interviewing photographer
Dese'Rae L. Stage, creator of
Live Through This photography
project.
A health and psychology
writer, Temma Ehrenfeld
has written about sexuality,
relationships and same-sex
issues for The New York Times,
Reuters, Newsweek and Or. Oz.
She biogs at Psychology Today
and she is eager to collaborate
on psychology books with
clinicians or scientists.
Read Temma's piece on the
surprising science behind
sexual fluidity on page 50.
10
CURVE
JUNE
2013
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THE GAYDAR
p
~~ THEGAVDAR
Takes one to know one? Let our gaydar help
?0 you decide who's hot, who's not, who's
~ shaking it and who's faking 1tin lesboland.
~
BY RACHEL SHATTO
~
Jeremy Irons says marriage
equality could result in fathers
marrying their sons for tax
purposes and would "debase
or change what marriage
is." But to accuse him of
homophobia would be "to say
that I believe the earth is flat."
Hmm, I wonder where on the
flat earth we got that idea?
Talk show host Marie Osmond reiterates
her support of marriage equality and of
her openly gay daughter. "I think that my
daughter deserves everything that she
desires in life ...l don't think God made one
Sci-fi goddess Sigourney
Weaver is honored by Geeks
OUT with a gala inspired by her
geekiest roles. Her response: "I
support each and every one of
you to be exactly and gloriously
who you are ...so rock on and
geek out, my friends." Swoon
Lily proclaims she's gay on
Modern Family. OK, so it
turns out she isn't really a
(literal) baby dyke. But we
couldn't resist the opportunity
to show you this picture of the
little cutie pie
Folk singer Michelle
Shocked's recent "god
hates fags" rant has us...
well. ..shocked-and
MenaSuvari
revives our girl
crush with her
turn as a lesbian
murderess in the
Lifetime movie
Stalkers. What
can I say, we
like 'em cute
and crazy
"'
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>
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Antigone Rising's
Kristen EllisHenderson and her
wife Sarah grace
the cover of Time.
Even better, the
headline reads "Gay
marriage already
won." Well, it's about
damn time!
(f)
w
:a:
'.:;
best character on
Suburgatory-is
a big ol' secret
bisexual. This
series just became
must-see lezzie TV
Sara Gilbert and
Linda Perry are
getting hitched!
Perry proposed to
Gilbert with a series
of tees that read "will
you marry me" while
musicians played
"Love Song"
Ten years after a certain
forgetful fish voiced
by Ellen DeGeneres
swam into our hearts
in Finding Nemo, Pixar
announces Finding
Dory is on its way. Let
the countdown to
November 2015 begin!
12
CURVE
JUNE 2013
Funny lady Rosie
O'Donnell brings
her dramatic acting
chops to Bomb
Girls with a guest
appearance on the
period drama that is,
well, the bomb
Penn has its very own
adolescent lesbian
character, Marigoldand she is adorable
Season four of The Voice doesn't disappoint
as the queer-inclusive series boasts two new
lesbian contestants, Karina Iglesias and
Michelle Chamuel to root for
NDSJGIFT
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Lively Locks
Want a prism-colored pelt without
the damage caused by traditional hair
dyes? Salon grade hair chalk gives
you the multicolored style with
none of the commitment.
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Double Rainbow
Admit it, you are that couple. Now you
can declare it proudly with matching,
customized rainbow iPhone cases.
Great for besties and lovers alike.
($25, vanitycases.etsy.com)
Rebel Rose
Bold and unexpected,
Sweetie2Sweetie's Day of the Dead
inspired bracelet is a multi-hued statement piece you can wear year round.
($28, sweetie2sweetie.etsy.com)
Sparkle Shades
Put a twinkle in your
eye with rainbow glitter
shades.Channel your
inner rockstar with these
show stoppers. ($69,
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Fabulous Footwear
It's Pride Time
Adidas goes over
the rainbow with
Jeremy Scott Js Wings
Instinct Hi Multicolor
shoes. These special
edition kicks will have
you high stepping
in polychromatic
style at this year's
parade. ($85,
jeremyscottjswings.net)
Modify Watches offer a colorful way to keep time this summer.
Durable, flexible, and water-resistant, the brightly hued mix-andmatch straps complete your warm weather wardrobe.
($30, modifywatches.com)
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14
CURVE
JUNE
2013
Make it Perfectly Queer
Bold Borough Bag
We can't get enough of
the tees from the lesbianowned shop Rainbow
Alternative. Keep it short,
sweet and sassy with their
Yes, Really T-shirt. ($26,
rainbowalternative.etsy.com)
Ogio's stylish Brooklyn
shoulder bag features a fully
padded, zippered, tabletfriendly pocket, adorable
fashion-forward button
detailing and is available in
a veritable rainbow of color
options. ($40, ogio.com)
Show your
true colors
with glam
goods in
rainbow hues
Star-gay-zer
Domino Doll house is the go-to
shop for plus-size gals with
edge. Your curves will literally
be out of this world in their
Galaxy baby doll dress. ($90,
dominodollhouse.com)
Works Like a Charm
Looking for a subtle way to
let your rainbow flag fly?
Corso Studio's expandable
cuff rainbow bracelet is
sweetly suggestive.
($16, corsostudio.etsy.com)
Ahead of the Curve
We're serious about this shameless plug!
Curve+ has launched right in time for Pride,
and what better way to celebrate your queer
identity than with America's best-selling lesbian
publication? Keep up with who's hot, what's
new, and share it with your friends!
($5, curvemag.com)
Pretty Pony
Earbuds featuring everyone's favorite
Little Pony, Rainbow Dash's, pony punim
sound pretty great to us.
($18, thinkgeek.com)
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C4 stands for "Choose Your Color. Choose Your
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JUNE
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CURVE
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Close To Perfect - Far From Normal
NOS/GOSSIP
p
~ LESBOFILE
~
~
Kristen stirs the lesbian rumor pot, Brandi kisses
and tells and lesbians make the news, literally.
~
BY JOCELYN VOO
Femme Fatale Fairytale
Even if you're not on the vampire romance
bandwagon, now you may have a reason to
take note of the real-life romance between
Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen
Stewart. The rocky romance hit tabloids
when Stewart was caught canoodling with
the director of Snow White and The Huntsman. Still, Pattinson took her back. But now
The National Enquirer alleges that while
Pattinson's abroad filming, Stewart is using
her long leash to sink her teeth into Katy
Perry's assistant, Tamra Natisin.
Truth or not, this is one fantasy storyline
we can get behind.
Lock Up Your Wives,
Sisters, Cousins ...
It's a televised catfight between comic Chelsea Handler and Real Housewives of Beverly
Hills star Brandi Glanville.
Try to keep up: first Handler bashes
Glanville, citing the reality star's notoriety
for fake boobs and vaginas (no, seriously).
Then Glanville lashes back, telling Andy
Cohen on his Bravo! show Watch What
Happens, Live, that she and Handler know
each other not only because they share the
same agent, but also that "I made out with
her lesbian friend and her assistant and her
brother, so she hates me:'
Well, in Handler's defense, we'd be mad
too if she got to the lesbian friend before
we did.
When Gays Attack
In one swift move, former alt-folk singer
Michelle Shocked managed to incite the
gay contingency of her fan base (read: a
whole lot of people), so much that she
caused a concert walkout. And it wasn't
her lyrics, either. Yahoo! reports that the
oft-lesbo-identified rocker started ranting
about Prop. 8, citing verses from the Old
Testament condemning homosexuality and
encouraging the crowd to tweet "and say
18
CURVE
JUNE
2013
11
'Michelle Shocked says God hates fags:
The reaction was swift, as many of
Shocked's future shows were cancelled. In
reaction, the singer issued a press release
indicating that she doesn't always "express
[herself] as clearly as [she] should;' and
apologizing for any misinterpretation. However, nowhere does she clarify her stance on
Prop.8.
Biting the hand that feeds her? You
decide.
Mixing Business with Pleasure
Turns out there's been a little bit of greenroom romance over at NBC news: corre
spondent and Weekend Today anchor Jenna
Wolfe and fellow correspondent Stephanie
Gosk came out to the network-and
tot, e
world-that
they're not only a couple of
three years, but that they're also expectant
moms-to-be.
Granting the inside story to fellow
news anchor Matt Lauer, Wolfe enthused,
"Stephanie's extremely adventurous, she's
been all over the world. And you know
me-there's not a building I haven't jumped
off of ... so, for us, this is nothiQg like that.
This is the adventure of a lifetime.
And will there be wedding bells as well?
Yes, Wolfe tells People magazine.
Morning TV just got a wh e lot more
interesting. •
Jenna Wolfe and
Stephanie Gosk
(below)
we don't core
what flavor you like
(or who you enjoy it with)
We do care about equality and giving
you the same opportunity to save on
car insurance as married couples.
If you and your partner are insured on
1
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business ... even states that don t
recognize your union.
Learn more about our modern
approach to car insurance.
esurance.com/equality
NDS/
PROFILE
Lauren Lamoly
SanDiego» RightsActivistfor LGBTMilitary
SpousesandPartners
It's one thing to face a world of challenges as a lesbian
couple, but Lauren Lamoly says the trials and tribulations
are only compounded when your gal is in the service.
Her partner, Captain Christie Jones, is a JAG (a lawyer
who is in the military) in the U.S. Air Force and is currently deployed to Afghanistan. "This deployment is
one of the hardest things I've ever gone through," says
Lamoly. "The term 'sleepless nights' seems so cliche,
but it's exactly how this goes."
Still, she says, they are in it together, and in addition
to running, playing soccer and getting her master's
IPARTISAN
SENATE
VERSION
of the Violence Against Women Act or VAWA was
approved by the House and signed into law by
President Obama. A House Republican version of
the bill would have stripped protections for LGBT
v1ct1msof abuse. The approved VAWA includes
expanded protections for Native Americans,
immigrants and LGBT victims of abuse. President
Obama was quoted as saying, "Renewing this bill
is an important step towards making sure no one
1nAmerica is forced to live 1nfear."
degree, Lamoly is also keeping herself busy at the
American Military Partner Association (AMPA), where
she serves on the Leadership Team as the director of
Communications.
AMPA, explains Lamoly, is a resource network for
partners and spouses of LGBT service members. It is
focused on supporting military families, and on advocating for the repeal of federal laws that prevent gay
military partners and spouses from taking advantage
of the benefits and services that are available to their
straight counterparts. Lamoly's job is to help families
share their stories through the media and biogs. "What
we provide is a medium for ideas, support and cohesion to a group of individuals otherwise shunned in a
camaraderie-driven society," she explains.
LGBT rights in the military have come a long way,
but there is a long way to go, says Lamoly. The lack
of spousal benefits, the incessant questions from coworkers operating under the DADT tautology, and just
a general fear of being out are all real issues that she
continues to address through her work with AMPA.
Long-term, Lamoly says, she know she'll stay active,
but perhaps in a different way. Teaching, writing and
attending law school are all ways to bring about
change, and are all viable possibilities for her. Which-
buy wedding packages for all
THEFEDERATION
INTERNATIONALE
de Football Assoc1at1onIs
requesting an off1c1alresponse
from the Nigerian Football
Federation regarding reports
that lesbian athletes have been
banned from playing Reports
indicate that the head of the
country's women's football
league said, "Any player that we
find Is associated with [homosexuality] will be d1squal1f1ed"
Any possible action from FIFA
will be complicated as under
Nigerian law, homosexuality
Is Illegal
ACTOR
AND
GAY
ACTIVIST
Koyuki Higashi and her partner
Hiroko became the first lesbians
to marry at Tokyo Disney Initially,
M1l1alResort Hotels, which operates Tokyo Disney, reportedly
asked the couple 1fone could
wear a tux and the other a dress
to not upset park vIsItors However, a statement was issued
a week later apolog1z1ngand
ever direction she takes, she says she knows her faith is
a big part of her support system, and quotes one of her
favorite prayers: "May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really can make a difference
in this world, so that you are able, with God's grace, to
do what others claim cannot be done." -Sheryl Kay
20
CURVE
JUNE
2013
» FORANOTHER
OUT
INFRONT
PROFILE
GOTOCURVEMAG.COM
their resorts since 2007 Japan
does not off1c1allyrecognize
same-sex marriages
AGENS,
WHICH
MEANS
"DRIVING
force" In Latin, Is a new lesbian
glossy magazine h1tt1ng newsstands In Russia The magazine
Is In defiance of a proposed
law banning all "homosexual
propaganda," which has led
to increased violence against
LGBT people In the country
Agens features androgynous
fashion features and comingout stories, and Is currently
labeled as for 18+
JACKIE
NANYONJO,
WHO
SOUGHT
asylum In the U K, was deported
to Uganda on Jan 12 despite
her claims that she was at risk of
homophobic persecution After
many hours she was returned to
her family vomItIng blood and In
pain She was forced to remain In
h1d1ng,making It impossible for
her to receive medical attention
curve
Victory /or Now
Will the Violence Against Women Act make a difference?
BY VICTORIA
0
A. BROWNWORTH
n Valentine's Day, women in 200 countries participated in a rally organized by
the global anti-violence initiative One Billion Rising, to stop violence against
women. On February 28, Congress finally passed the Violence Against
Women Act (VAWA), which was signed into law by President Obama on
March 7, 2013.
But despite the one day of exuberance, when millions of women stood up against violence,
and the relief that VAWA was finally passed after 18 months of delays, the fact remains
of all
that 1 billion women worldwide will be raped or beaten in our lifetime-one-third
women. Those are the odds that every girl on earth is given when she is born: Will she be
the one in three? Will she be the woman sexually assaulted or beaten by a partner?
Some women are more at risk than others. In the U.S., American Indian women living
on reservations have a high incidence of both rape and domestic violence. Yet they are
not alone. In the U.S., a sexual assault occurs every two minutes. According to statistics
from the Department of Justice, 200,000 women over the age of 12 will be raped this year.
Women between the ages of 18 and 37 are the most frequent victims of rape, while women
between the ages of 25 and 34 are the most frequent victims of domestic violence.Teen dating
violence, like sexual assault, is on the rise, as is same-sex domestic violence. Transgender
women are at increased risk for sexual assault. One in four girls under 18 will be the victims
of molestation-a cozy term for child rape. Lesbian and transgender teens are at high risk
for both sexual assault and trafficking, especially if they are runaways or homeless.
I wasn't in any high-risk category when I
was raped, sodomized and brutally beaten
10 years ago. But the man who raped me-a
serial rapist whom the police had neglected
to inform my mostly poor, mostly AfricanAmerican neighborhood about-had already
raped several other younger women, who
did fit the at-risk demographic, prior to the
attack on me.
Like the majority of lesbians who are
sexually assaulted, not only did I not want to
come forward about the attack, I didn't know
where to turn for help. Services for victims of
sexual and domestic violence, even in a large
city like mine, are not yet focused on lesbians
and transgender women. Those of us who
go to straight agencies for help often find
ourselves victimized all over again, albeit by
well-meaning advocates for women.
Like lesbian rape victims, lesbians who
are victims of domestic violence also have
little recourse. According to the National
Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, in
an estimated 25 to 33 percent of same-sex
couples, someone experiences domestic
violence, a rate close to that for straight
couples. But lesbian victims of battering
have routinely been excluded from domestic violence shelters and told those spaces
are needed for "real" victims. Considering
that domestic violence is epidemic in the
U.S. with a woman being beaten every 15
seconds, there are millions of victims who
need help.
Can VAWA change any of the grim statistics that make all of us potential victims?
Roberta Hacker is executive director
of Women in Transition in Philadelphia,
the nation's oldest continuing social service
agency for battered and abused women and
one of the first to have programs for lesbians, which she initiated. Hacker, herself
a lesbian, put it succinctly: "Lesbians are
often discounted and dismissed as victims
of domestic violence. They become invisible victims:' Law enforcement often thinks
that "women can't really hurt each other"
JUNE
2013
CURVE
21
st
POLITICS
the way men can hurt women, which, she
says, leaves lesbian victims feeling even more
isolated than straight women. That isolation further victimizes the abused lesbian,
making her "more likely to continue to be
abused and remain in the abusive situation;'
notes Hacker, often leaving her dependent on
her abusive partner. Hacker, a former president of the Pennsylvania Coalition Against
Domestic Violence, says that this new version
of VAWA, which is inclusive of lesbians, is a
positive step. But just a step."We have to hold
people accountable to VAWA;' she says, and
"also work at the local level to advocate for
victims of domestic and sexual violence:'
Safe Horizon, the nation's largest victimservice provider, serves all of New York
City. Liz Roberts is the chief program
officer. According to Roberts, initially, DV
programs focused on violence perpetrated
by men. She agrees with Hacker that
this "created a perception that intimatepartner violence and sexual assault didn't
occur in LGBT relationships, a perception
that mainstream domestic violence advocacy groups have often reinforced. Nothing
could be further from the truth:'
The truth, however, isn't simple, as
Roberts explains. "Homophobia and transphobia contribute to high rates of sexual
victimization [of lesbians and transwomen],
preventing them from coming forward or
subjecting them to discriminatory responses
when they do:'
The inclusion of LGBT people in VAWA
is key to creating some of the changes Hacker
and Roberts see as essential to literally saving
the lives of lesbians and transwomen. That
such inclusion was a major roadblock in
initial attempts to pass the bill is indicative
of how segregated from societal care and
concern these victims have been.
VAWA will target funding to LGBT
victims of violence, while prohibiting recipients of VAWA funding from discriminating
against victims based on their actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity,
Roberts explained. This will "create greater
incentives for domestic violence service providers and our partners in law enforcement,
who often benefit from VAWA funding,
to create inclusive policies, procedures and
training programs:'
But will lesbians and transwomen be better able to access protection against sexual
and domestic violence with VAWA?
Roberts says yes. She thinks that the legislation will 'expand the kind of services that
22
CURVE
JUNE
2013
previously excluded our community, like
emergency housing, legal assistance, specialized health care and counseling programs:'
Battered lesbians have routinely complained that police have not helped them, or
even treated them as crime victims. Many
victims have been arrested themselves, or
police have ignored them with comments
like "You two girls can work it our:'
Roberts says, "These are real issues
facing our communities. In fact, a 2011
study by the National Coalition of AntiViolence Programs found that 28 percent
of the victims in the study reported that
they had been arrested by the police. We
know that intimate-partner abuse often
goes under-reported in the LGBT community because of fears of biased and
uninformed responses from law enforcement:' Roberts says that "better training,
policy guidance and accountability for law
enforcement personnel are needed to help
them identify the primary aggressor and
take appropriate actions:'
Which means VAWA could encourage
lesbians to report sexual or domestic violence, if they could trust law enforcement to
treat them in an unbiased manner.
As associate vice-president for homeless
youth and anti-trafficking programs at
Safe Horizon in New York City, Carolyn
Strudwick leads the Streetwork project,
which provides street outreach, drop-in
services, and shelter to homeless youth.
Strudwick says, "Queer youth are definitely
more vulnerable to violence based on their
gender identity and sexual orientation, and
they are disproportionately represented in
the runaway and homeless youth population.
In fact, 40 percent of all runaway and homeless youth nationally identify as LGBT:' As
Strudwick explains, they are already victims when they come to the Safe Horizon
program. "Most have been sexually abused
or exploited at some point in their lives;'
Resources
Safe Horizon
1-800-621-HOPE
National Domestic
Violence Hotline:
1-800-799-7233
National Sexual
Assault Hotline:
1-800-656-HOPE
she says. "The LGBT youth we see often
tell us they are homeless as a direct result
of homophobia or transphobia, either at
home or in the foster care system. Our hope
is that VAWA will provide more options
for the young people we see every day:' But,
she explains, VAWA alone isn't an answer.
"This is where our communities need to get
involved. We need to insist that our federal,
state and local governments work together
to create a real safety net for all homeless
youth, and we need to engage wealthy
people who care about LGBT communities
to provide support to local programs that
work with homeless LGBT youth, using a
low-threshold, youth-centered, non-judgmental model like ours. Otherwise, young
people will continue to be vulnerable to
those who seek to exploit them:'
Trafficking and the sexual slavery of
LGBT youth is a growing problem in the
US. and globally.Social media has made the
process more sophisticated, but it remains
just as violent and grim as ever. LGBT youth
are often "traded" via the Internet, which
makes trafficking the victims easier and
catching the perpetrators more difficult.
Strudwick explains that the Trafficking
Victims Protection Act (TVPA) was passed
along with VAWA. Although TVPA got
no attention in the media coverage of the
VAWA fight, it is a key to the protection of
LGBT victims. "TVPA will authorize federal anti-trafficking programs for the next
four years;' Strudwick explains. "It will
also provide new tools to prosecutors who
go after the traffickers. This is an important step toward freedom for the millions
of women, men, children and youth around
the globe and around the country who are
trafficked into forced labor and sexual slavery each year:' According to the UN Status
on Women report, 98 percent of all trafficked people globally are women.
According to Strudwick,"At Safe Horizon,
weve learned that the conditions that make
a person vulnerable to human trafficking are
the conditions that make people vulnerable
to other forms of victimization as well:'
But all women are vulnerable to violence
and 1 billion of us will become victims.
Roberts says, "Having a more inclusive
VAWA won't solve these problems overnight, but it does send a powerful message
that local law enforcement agencies need to
pay attention to our communities' needs:'
The rest is up to women like her-and
people like us.•
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Kl 3951
st
LIPSTICK+DI
PSTICK
Why Are
Femmes So
friends over to our house and
by fear. No one can decide
she introduced me as her
for someone else when is
"friend." All they talked about
the best time and what is the
was her recent divorce, her
most appropriate way to come
ex-husband, and how much
out of the closet. Lipstick
DilJicult?
they liked him. As the night
has a point, though. This isn't
dragged on, I was sure she'd
really about her coming out;
have "the talk" with them, but
it's about this conflict you two
Timeless enigma or antiquated inquiry?
boy was I wrong! She didn't.
are in. How you deal with dif-
Ultimately, I was floored by
ferences at this early stage of
her disregard for my feelings,
your relationship will deter-
BY LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
It is the age-old conundrum
Why are femmes so difficulr?
They are a pain, but damned
if I can live without 'em
-Jilted 1nJohnsonv1!/e
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
and for our relationship. Am I
mine whether you succeed as
wrong to feel this way? -Just
a couple. The key is to work
a Friend
through the issue: Share your
feelings without blaming her,
Lipstick: Just a Friend, you're
listen to her, and try to under-
never wrong for how you feel.
stand why she's behaving the
Emotion is organic. Where you
way she is.
can go wrong, however, is in
deciding what to do with those
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
emotions and how you'll move
I'm dating a woman named
forward in response to them.
Barbara, and we have an
If Beth isn't ready to come
amazing time together. We
out, she's just isn't ready. It's a
talk for hours and have a lot in
hairy-toothed beast, and she
common. From the begin-
will slay the monster when she
ning, she said she needed to
finds her warrior spirit. It's out
find herself and didn't want a
Dipstick: We butches need
Seems a small price to pay
of your control. What you do
commitment. But then, sud-
femmes around like a saguaro
for the beauty they bring to
have control over is whether
denly she started wanting to
cactus needs the sun, like
the world.
you can live as her "friend"
know if I kiss anyone else or
for now. Yes or no? If yes, you
if I speak with my ex, and she
Lipstick: Dipstick just earned
need to work on patience,
started saying that if I sleep
stream. Femmes nourish us,
some serious points with all
understanding and compassion.
with anyone else it will be all
inspire us and lead us back to
the Lipsticks out there! I agree
If no, tell her where you're at
over. Then she reiterates that
our home. Femmes appreci-
with one thing you said, Jilted.
and move on. It's your choice
she doesn't want anything
ate us, get our aesthetic,
I haven't been able to live
at this point, not hers.
serious, and in the same con-
make us feel like there's a
without femmes either-as
place in this world where we
friends or as lovers. For you,
Dipstick: It's been so
spend more time with me. I'm
belong. Like you said, we just
however, it's not femmes who
long since I've been in the
so confused. She won't make
can't live without them. Sure,
are difficult, but the way you
closet that I can barely
a commitment to me, yet
sometimes we have to tell
are marginalizing them. 1963
remember what it feels like to
expects me to be faithful to
her over and over that she
called and they want their
be suffocated-trapped
her?-O/ivia,
looks nice in that outfit-yes,
antiquated gender roles back.
tiny space with smelly soccer
Church Lady needs her Bible,
and like a salmon needs a
versation wishes she could
in a
the Old Faithful
cleats, musty boxes of photos,
Lipstick: Old Faithful, have
that one. Sometimes we need
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I
Michael Jackson albums,
you come here for the truth?
to tell her we're sorry, even
am upset with my girlfriend,
self-hatred and shame. Sure, I
If so, hold on to your britches
when we have no idea what
Beth. She is not out to her
think it's wrong, what she did.
cuz here it comes. Barbara
that other outfit too. Yes, and
we did wrong. And some-
friends and it's making me
She should have come out to
is stringing you along, and I
times we have to change out
crazy. Granted, this is the
her friends and announced
don't think she plans on ever
of our sweats, put on a nice
first lesbian relationship for
that you are her new fiance.
making a commitment.
blazer, and take her out for a
both of us, but I've come
She should have done a little
met girls like Barb before-she
just wants you to be her slice
I've
night on the town. Other than
out to all my friends already
rainbow dance up and down
that, I can't think of anything
and I'm losing my patience.
the front porch. But she didn't,
of cake, and eat it sometimes,
difficult about femmes.
Recently, she had some old
because she was paralyzed
too. Why don't you test this
24
CURVE
JUNE
2013
game she's playing and kiss
on Saturday night. Lesbians
someone else. Then tell her, as
have a hard time with casual
Dipstick: When did you get
requested. At that point, you'll
dating. From the moment our
so cynical, Lipstick? I think
see once and for all what her
lips graze on the first kiss,
Barbara just doesn't know
''
are waiting in the wings.
intentions are and how serious
we start to sprout roots. And
what she wants, and that's
she is.
there's never another mention
why she's being wishy-washy.
of all those other women she
Her instinct as a lesbian is to
Dipstick: You've got it all
wrong, Lip. Old Faithful, I know
intended to date.
latch on to the first girl she
this story well. You start chat-
she remembers she's trying
ting on a dating site and she
Lipstick: I'm not so sure that
is what's happening here, Dip.
tells you she's not looking for
It seems what Barb is doing is
not pair up too quickly. Olivia,
anything serious. She wants to
backing Olivia into a com-
this is a good opportunity
date lots of people and have
mitment corner, without the
you to step back and figure
a good time. Then, the next
commitment. Maybe it's that
out what you want out of this
thing you know, she's got a
she likes the control. Or maybe
relationship.
toothbrush in your bathroom
she just wants to be sure
reacting to Barbara, take
cup, daily text messages
there's one on the leash. Maybe
control and move forward
invade your phone, and she's
Barb determines her self-worth
toward the life you want to
in her cozies on your couch
by the number of women who
lead-with
has chemistry with, but then
to find herself, so she'd better
for
1963
CAlltD
THtY
AND
THtlR
WANT
GtNDtR
ROltS
BACK.
Instead of just
''
or without her.•
JUNE
2013
CURVE
25
•
I
The 20~Minute Workout
Stress- and sweat-free exercise that actually works.
I
dislike exercise. As far as fitness
goes, I've pretty much taken my
body for granted. Infrequent episodes of tennis and swimming, and
the New York method of transportation,
walking, is basically how I kept fit.
This served me well until I hiked down
a valley in Costa Rica and couldn't make
it back up again, thanks to sciatica. Then
came the clicking knee, back pain, and fatigue. It was time to do something about
the shape I was in.
A lesbro of mine, and a former Mr. Gay
World, shared his secret with me: Inform
Fitness Studio has a 20-minute workout that
is so stress- and sweat-free you could do it
in your work clothes. And you only have to
go once a week! This sounded too good to
be true, and being the gym-averse exercise
skeptic that I am, I had to put it to the test.
Part office, part living room, part gym,
the InForm Fitness Studio on the Upper
East Side of Manhattan became the scene
of my transformation from a physically
declining desk jockey into a woman deter-
26
CURVE
JUNE 2013
ev MERRYN JoHNs
mined to build her core strength.
For 20 minutes Adam Zickerman,
dressed in casual business attire, takes
me through six tasks on customized gym
equipment, marking my progress on a clipboard. There is no straining, shouting, and
little sweating. Sometimes we even chat
about the progress of LGBT rights as I
safely and effectively exercise. But how
does it work? Well, not like other exercise.
"Exercise can actually be bad for you;'
says Zickerman, who is the founder of
InForm Fitness Studios and the author of
Powerof 10: The Once-A-WeekSlow Motion
Fitness Revolution. Spending hours at the
gym straining to lift heavy equipment can
be counterproductive.
"Force is mass plus acceleration;' says
Zickerman. "The force of weight combined
with momentum causes injuries. Inform
Fitness reduces the momentum and the
weight to reduce the force that can cause
injury. When you lift weights slowly, it
feels heavier. That exercise sends a signal
to the body to make the investment to be
stronger. It's a survival mechanism:'
The tasks of slow lifting are targeted at
the areas of your body that need strengthening. The trainer makes subtle adjustments based on your physical strengths
and weaknesses with the goal being to
increase the weights or the reps each
week. You work the muscle slowly until it
fatigues. Stimulated by failing, the muscle
recovers and rebuilds during the week,
ready for the next endurance test.
"Too much exercise and the body has no
chance for response and can break down;'
says Zickerman, who was a gym rat until
it compromised his health. 'J\t InForm we
take five or six hours a week and turn it into
20 minutes a week:'
Zickerman's theory is that society has
confused exercise with recreation, hence the
hours we spend at the gym, and the popularity of spin classes, yoga groups, and running marathons. "Endurance doesn't equal
exercise;' he says. "The person who runs the
longest marathon may not be the healthiest:' He believes we also wrongly attribute
weight loss to exercise, when weight should
mostly be controlled through nutrition.
The lnForm environment is simple: no
wall~to~wall mirrors, no wait to get to your
exercise station; no thumping music to
goad you into working quickly; no social
scene. This is a serious workout for time~
poor people. No wonder it's taking off at
the New York location, which sees around
1,300 workout clients per month.
lnForm is also expanding with locations
in New Jersey, Los Angeles, and Leesburg,
Virginia. And Zickerman is developing a
mobile gym that travels to clients.
So, what has it done for me? After an
InForm workout I experience a high, the
kind usually produced by massive and
sustained cardio, not 20 minutes sitting
down. After a few weeks, I stand taller and
straighter. I no longer get winded going
upstairs. I lift heavy items without pulling
a muscle. I experience no more attacks of
sciatica. My knee has stopped clicking. And
hello biceps, hello abs. Right in time for
summer! (informfitness.com) •
ADAM'S
6INFORM
TIPS
To get the most out of your 20-minute
workout, make the following lifestyle
adjustments:
DEVELOP
AN
ANTI-SOCIAL
STREAK:
Unplug
from
your favorite social media distraction,
especially at the gym. Limit checking in with
Foursquare and Facebook.
EAT
LIKE
ACAVE(WO)MAN:
Avoid carbs
and consume quality meats, seafood,
vegetables, eggs, healthy fats, fruit and
nuts. Our Paleolithic ancestors didn't suffer
from obesity, heart disease or diabetes.
DEVELOP
THE
THREE
PILLARS
OF
POWER:
Rest,
nutrition and exercise, in that order.
GET
THE
SKINNY
ON
FATS:
Many fats are good, but
trans fats are bad. Know the difference.
COMBAT
THE
AGING
PROCESS:
Human aging is
associated with the atrophying of skeletal
muscle and with functional impairment,
both of which can be combatted by
strength training.
STOP
MAKING
EXCUSES:
You can always work
out. Instructors can modify your routine
and work around a broken bone, a sprained
ankle, a sore knee or killer tennis elbow.
LIQUID
ASSETS
Girl power and the juice revolution.
Here's how I got through winter: cheese,
chocolate, coffee, takeout and copious
amounts of red wine. Come spring, I had
the energy and agility of a beached manatee. I'm an omnivore and I'd been riding the
sugar-caffeine-alcohol roller coaster since
Thanksgiving and couldn't disembark on
my own. I'd heard of juice cleanses, but
the idea of a liquid diet (and I'm not talking
booze) wasn't appealing. Besides, do they
even work?
Enter Ritual Wellness, a company founded
by best buds and workout partners Lori Kenyon
Farley and Marra St. Clair. In 2008, they
began exploring the benefits of raw juice cleanses to combat feelings of
sluggishness and toxicity (Lori had suffered from taking rounds of antibiotics
and Marra had been dealing with Celiac Disease since college).
Lori's business background and passion for fitness merged perfectly
with Marra's expertise in natural practices. The result: empowerment
through nutrition (the duo is working on a soon-to-be-released book).
The aim of their 3-day juice cleanse program is to reset the body, kick-start
the metabolism, curb cravings, and produce new levels of health, youthfulness
and energy.
Offering several appetizing menus of 100 percent organic, cold-pressed raw
juices, Ritual Wellness delivers your cleanse to your door, nationwide, refrigerated and ready to consume. These libations taste so good and are so full of
nutrients that you really won't want to eat, but it's okay if you need a snack or
two, maybe an organic avocado salad or some fruit and nuts. On the last day, I
did cave in to a bowl of vegetable minestrone.
I tried the Ritual Reset Cleanse, which consists of four green blends, one
alkalizing lemonade, and a protein-rich nut "mylk" per day. Starting the day
with the liquid equivalent of three pounds of spinach, kale, apples and celery,
rather than reaching for a blueberry muffin and large latte meant I avoided my
usual carb cravings at lunchtime and sugar crash in the afternoon.
By day two I felt the results: sound sleep, more energy, glowing skin, mental
clarity, and my dependence on all comfort foods subsided. I even stopped
thinking about when to do my seasonal switch from malbec to rose, and
started to think about buying a juicer! And while weight-loss is not a goal of
this cleanse, don't be surprised if you shed a couple of pounds by avoiding
your usual addictions. -Merryn Johns
Special CURVEOlfe,~
Try Ritual Wellness with this exclusive discount. Go to ritualwellness.com and
use promo code: curve15 for 15 percent off. Offer valid until June 30, 2013.
JUNE
2013
CURVE
27
ostSCENE
GLAAD
TOBE
GAY
The GLAAD Media Awards call out the Scouts and highlight trans rights.
High above bustling Times Square, impeccably dressed media
tight Boy Scouts uniform took the stage to introduce Cooper.
elites braved sleet and snow to be present at New York City's
Denouncing the Boy Scouts ban of LGBTyouth, she condemned
24th
Annual
GLAAD
Media
Awards.
The event
Russia for imprisoning members of the girl-band Pussy Riot, and
served as a star-studded
call to action as it honored outstanding media portrayals of the
called for a social "revolution!" before praising Cooper as a per-
LGBT community in 2012.
sonal inspiration. "I don't know a lot of brave people ...and that
Kicking off the ceremony, a fired-up GLAAD President,
is the reason I'm here: To give an award to someone I admire.
Herndon Graddick, seized the moment to condemn the Boy
Someone who is brave, someone who has made a difference in
Scouts of America for its systemic discrimination against LGBT
the world by promoting equality and giving a voice to the LGBT
children and their families. Graddick then urged journalists to
community. I am here to honor you, Anderson Cooper."
tell more of the untold stories of the transgender community,
Taking the stage and visibly awe-struck, Cooper couldn't
calling transgender issues the future of the civil rights battle.
resist giving Madge a big smooch on the lips. He joked that that
As the awards got underway, co-hosts Sam Champion and
was the only time he'd kissed a girl, before graciously accepting
Lara Spencer of Good Morning America announced winners in
the honor. "As a gay person, it's important for me to remember
each category, including Outstanding Drama Series (Smash,
that all of us come from a community whose stories have for
NBC) and Outstanding Documentary (How To Survive a Plague,
too long been forgotten or ignored, ridiculed or misrepresented,"
he told the audience. "A community despite all that has found
Sundance Selects).
The main honor of the night was reserved for CNN's sexy silver
ways to love and to laugh and to care for one another. I know
fox Anderson Cooper, who received the distinguished Vito Russo
I'm only able to be on this stage because of generations of gay
Award, an honor bestowed upon openly gay media professionals
people who have come before."
who have made a significant difference in promoting equality
Before leaving the stage, an emotional Cooper looked out
for the LGBT community. This was Cooper's first award since
into the crowd, fixing his eyes on his boyfriend, Benjamin, sitting
publically coming out of the closet in 2012.
28
in the audience below. "I have had so many blessings in my life.
And what's a good celebration without Madonna?
And being gay is certainly one of the greatest blessings of all."
Ever the provocateur, a fashionably late Madonna clad in a
(glaad.org) -Samantha L. Stewart
CURVE
JUNE
2013
MUSIC
»
FlLM»
BOOKS
»
TECH
»
MUSIC»
Rebel Wit
,.
A
s I was prepping for a photo shoot with Sarah
Smith, she took a glance down at her cell
phone and casually mentioned, "Oh, I just
won a London [Ontario] Music Award for
Most Popular Singer~Songwriter:'
With a voice that is often, in fact almost always, com~
pared to Bonnie Raitt, Melissa Etheridge or Janis Joplin,
Smith makes you want to rock out and at the same time
recharges your heart and soul. Her intimate cover of"Oh!
Darling" by the Beatles is buckedist worthy. Her own
HAIR BY HANNAH STIERS @STUDIO H LONDON
MAKE UP BY HEATHER WENMAN @STUDIO H LONDON
s reflect th lives around her, and she hopes her shows
brmg people ~ether, as an extended family. "I guess I just
a~ys felt like people who are watching and supporting
my shows have become friends. Actually, the only social life
have is at shows, so I want to get to know as many people
as I can, and what they' re going through in their lives. I try
to listen, and I learn from everyone I come across. It's kind
o li¥e. &,uddha, or God, or Jesus is in everyone you meet.
to listen with an open heart:'
So I
Before her solo career began, she was the lead vocalist
\ry
JUNE
2013
REVIEWS/
MUSIC
with a band called The Joys. Their music
was chosen for the Canadian TV series
Majority Rules!,was used in the movie Cake
(starring Heather Graham), and was also
featured on the OUT TV show Chris &
John's Road Trip. She's recently released
two solo albums, Sarah Smith Live and
Live B-Sides, which were produced by the
award-winning Kevin Doyle, who's worked
with an eclectic list of musicians, including Van Morrison, Andrea Bocelli, Anne
Murray, KISS, Yo-Yo Ma and Alannah
Myles. Smith recently went to Germany to
work with producer Pat Anthony (Michael
Jackson, Usher, Black Eyed Peas), received
Album of the Year by the London Free
Press and reached #1 on Canadian radio
station Free FM 98. That's an impressive
resume, especially for someone who never
realized that music could be a profession
until she went to college.
All it took was one person telling Smith
that she could make a living playing music
and she's had a full-time career for 12 years
now. Not bad for a girl who grew up in the
small town of Arthur, Ontario (population
2,450), where becoming a professional
musician was not an option. "Coming from
30
CURVE
JUNE 2013
a farm and living in a town where nobody
played music, I didn't even realize that there
was such a thing out there:'
She left Arthur to attend the Royal
Military College of Canada, and brought
her guitar with her. To keep it in her room,
she had to take it apart for inspection and
lay it on her bed-like a pair of underwear,
or army shorts. She put up with this every
day, until she realized that the army wasn't
for her and decided to trade in her field
jacket for a microphone. Her first step was
becoming a regular guest with a band called
Thundermug. She was hooked. Eventually, Thundermug's lead singer, Bill Durst,
asked Smith to form a new band with him.
Together they started Big on Venus, which
later became the Joys.
Smith had more than one eye-opener as
she began her music career. "Having grown
up on a farm, I was very nai:ve.I had no due
that two people of the same sex could be
'together: When I first started playing
music, I found that women were hitting on
me-and it was so weird, but awesome at
the same time! Eventually, I met my wife,
Janene. I guess when I got married I came
out. I have always loved people regardless
of their gender-spirits are beyond skin.
"With Janene, I fell in love with her
spirit, and I couldn't help mysel£ I just
needed to be with this woman for the rest of
my life. Both of our parents are very sweet
and loving and want nothing but the best
for the us. We have two beautiful golden
retrievers, amazing friends and a cute little
house in London, Ontario. What more do
you need in lifet
A hard-working musician, Smith has a
strong business sense and is practical when
it comes to planning for her future. She
even has a pension. "I finally joined a union.
I thought, 'What am I going to do? When
can I retire? Maybe when I'm 65 I won't be
able to play music anymore: So I joined the
union, and they set up a pension package
for me, and I have insurance on my equipment, and, you know, I'm totally in society
but still being a rebel, right?
"I have big dreams, but in this business
you have to practice patience. So I'm just
willing to keep writing and playing musicand meeting new people:'
So don't miss Sarah Smith when she's
onstage in a town near you. And she will be.
(sarahsmithmusic.com) •
Busk or Bust
Queer indie films are now just a click away.
etflix, Hulu, Vudu, Amazon
Prime-sure,
there are plenty
of On Demand video services
out there, but now thanks to
BuskFilms' CEO and founder Andrea
Wing, we lezzies have one of our very own.
Since its creation two years ago, Busk has
been a rapidly growing global platform for
high-quality, independent lesbian, trans and
bisexual films-all for less than $5 a pop.
Backtrack to 2010. Video on demand
wasn't common, and online pay per view
was even scarcer. Andrea Wing was tired
of relentlessly searching for lesbian content
on the vast expanse of the Internet, with
the only fruits of her labor being YouTube
montages of movie and television scenes.
"I saw a gap in the market and it was
out of my frustration of trying to find
good lesbian content online;' says Wing.
"I was like, Where are all the shorts that
N
Bv ELIZABETH EsTocHEN
you see at festivals?"
Determined to address the dearth of
lesbian online viewing options she reached
out to friends who were programmers and
developers for logistical help. She also contacted filmmakers directly. Some jumped
on board immediately while others viewed
Wing with a certain amount of skepticism.
Or as Wing puts it, "There's this girl from
Vancouver randomly calling people and
saying, 'Trust me with your film, I'm going
to create this site!' So I think it was a bit of a
stretch for some filmmakers. Others totally
got what we were trying to do. I think they
understood my passion and my power, and
what I wanted to build. And in essence,
really serve the filmmaker:'
Serving the filmmaker is a priority for
Busk. "The idea is basically to work with
filmmakers from around the world, and
to make their content available for lesbians
online;' says Wing. ''And give filmmakers
an opportunity to not only screen their
work, but to make money:'
Wing's team searches all over the globe
for the hidden gems that deserve an audience. Their lead film scout, Mel Pritchard
from Melbourne, Australia, does the bulk
of the film hunting. Film festivals also play a
major role in finding and selecting content.
"There are some key festivals we attend that
we keep our eye on content: Frameline of
course, Outfest Berlin-and
Pritchard
obviously has a lot of ties with the queer film
festivals around the world;' Wing explains.
Various film festivals and Busk have
formed a symbiotic relationship. "We have
this reciprocal relationship with film festivals because they'll be like, 'Oh, I've never
heard of this film before: So oftentimes
film festivals will use our site as a resource
to bring content to their festivals;' says
JUNE
2013
CURVE
31
DVD
PICKS))
BYRACHEL
SHATTO
Face
2Face
(Wolfe
Vioeo)
Wing. "I never imagined we'd be in that role, but it's happened a couple
of times now:'
Busk is also unique in that they pay close attention and care to
appealing to their rapidly growing global audience. ''A lot of times
I think we get so North American~centric that we tend to fo get
there is content that exists outside of our domain. It was really
important for me to connect with that as well;' says Wing.
"We thought this was a great opportunity to give people access
to content that probably, in certain countries, it may not be easy or
safe to access or rent. We saw this as a way to reach these people who
maybe don't have the same freedom as we do in North America:'
Wing tells the story of one viewer, an Egyptian woman who previ~
ously had virtually no access to any lesbian content. "She contacted
me and said, 'These stories are exactly what I need to see: She told
me a little bit about her life and the secrecy she lives in, and she was
so thankful that there was this outlet she could access:'
Busk's audience ranges from Brazil to Sweden, Norway to
Egypt. Wing approximates that 50 to 60 percent of their total
library comes from outside North America. "It's amazing that the In~
ternet can allow for this global business to happen, but that's the
experience we're living:'
Of course, even with such an extensive audience, there are still
some misconceptions about BuskFilms and their content.
"Everyone's like, 'Where's the porn?' " Wing laughs. "We always
get that. When I'm describing this to anyone, the first question is
like, 'Oh, lesbian porn?' I'm like, No! Indie film! The words 'lesbian'
and 'film' in the same sentence can only mean one thing;' Wing says.
"Maybe one day we'll break out of that stereotype:' She pauses. ''And
then I'm like, Yeah totally, it's lesbian porn, and just roll with it for a
while:'
Busk's plans for the near future include launching a male version
of the website, street teams and scouts appearing at upcoming festivals
and San Francisco Pride, and an eventual shift to a subscription site.
Wing hopes to make connections with as many viewers and filmmak~
ers as possible. And so far, the interactions have proven positive.
"People generally are so excited when I tell them what Busk is and
what Busk does, and they're just like, 'Oh my god, it's like a Disney~
land for gays!'" Wing laughs. "That is so infectious. To have that
connection is golden for me, and keeps me motivated and true to
what I'm doing:' (buskfilms.com) •
32
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JUNE
2013
This lesbian-helmed documentary follows filmmaker
Katherine Brooks' (LovingAnnabelle)journey across
country to meet 50 of her Facebook friends face to
face. While the film encompasses 11,000 miles, the
real journey takes place within Brooks herself. We
witness everything from her failed suicide attempt,
to struggles with prescription drugs, a confession to
an estranged family member about a sexual assault
she survived, to her reunion with her first unrequited
love-who inspired the short film Dear Emily. For those
looking for something authentic and raw, this moving
documentary is sure to satisfy-not to mention tug at
the heartstrings. The only critique is that the in-depth
look at Brooks' emotional journey left little time to
explore the people she met. A longer cut, or second
documentary featuring more of her Facebook friends
would be a welcome addition.
Sexy
Evil
Genius
(lionsgate)
In this indie thriller Nikki-the titular sexy evil genius(played by Battlestar Galacticabombshell Katee
Sackoff) gathers several of her (living) exes together
at a bar for a night of drinks, memories and revenge.
Amongst her previous amours is Miranda, played by
Michelle Trachtenberg. Over the course of the night,
and several rounds of drinks, what begins as a lighthearted reunion becomes a mental game of cat and
mouse as it's revealed that Nikki, after murdering
her most recent ex, has been released early from a
hospital for the criminally insane. Is Nikki still crazy or
is this just part of a larger Machiavellian plan? While
the film does little to reinvent the thriller formula,
Sexy Evil Geniusis a light and quickly-paced romp
that's just tricky enough to keep its audience invested.
It's well worth a look, particularly if you're craving
more Sackoff. And really, who isn't?
REVIEWS/
Literary Latina
Being a queer punk rock girl in a Cuban family presents unique
challenges. av TINA vAsouEz
aised in Miami by a house full
of Latinas, artist, writer and
musician Cristy C. Road understands the distinct pain that
comes from loving-and being loved byfamily members whose "traditional" values
not only make you afraid, but ashamed of
your sexuality. The 30-year-old Homewreckers front woman has been publishing
her own artwork since 1997, much of
it touching on her love of punk rock and
her intersecting queer and Cuban identities. After three illustrated publications, all
biographical in nature, Road is back with
Spit and Passion,which details her pained
adolescence as a secretly queer girl obsessed
with Green Day. Road's latest is stunning
and sure to touch a chord for anybody who
grew up with a heart that beat for punk
rock. Road, who toured with the all queer
literary show Sister Spit in the spring,
R
recently took the time to talk about her artwork and the lack of visibility for people of
color in queer communities:
Why do you think punk and Green Day
struck such a chord with you?
A friend at school told me about Green
Day and other punk bands, but Green Day
was the poppy, upbeat fix that I needed.
I was into random theatrical music, like
Aerosmith, Queen, Broadway musicals and
some hip hop and dance music, but upon
discovering my sexuality and feeling isolated,
Green Day was refreshing because they had
a really gay-positive political agenda I could
relate to. I also fell madly in love with their
choruses, harmonies and lyrics.
What's not really discussed in Spit and
Passion is your drawing and whether
or not art was a saving grace. When
and how did you realize your talent for
drawing?
BOOKS
I started drawing when I was little. I
remember being 4 years old and drawing
a lot of my favorite female Latin pop stars,
like Veronica Castro. Then I would draw
whatever my fixation was: The Muppets,
Star Trek, Ren and Stimpy. As I discovered
punk and my own alienation, I started
making art about my beliefs, as opposed to
just portraits of my favorite cartoon characters. There were a lot of pig-head figures
in the White House and a lot of punks
fighting cops. This flourished into what I
do now, clearly.
When writing Spit and Passion or any
of your other illustrated books, was it
difficult to revisit the past and examine how it shaped the person you are
today?
I think I waited long enough for it to not
be too painful. Coming out in my early
20s really broke down the wall between
my queer community and my Cuban community, which enabled me to articulate
the alienation I felt with hope and fervor.
Of course it was hard. I hashed out years
of hurtful language and anger, so tapering
it down to a package that was accessible
was emotionally draining. Existing as queer
in my cultural community can still be
intense, but the sad moments ended up
being empowering.
It was refreshing to read about the challenges of being queer in a traditional
Latino family. Do you feel that people of
color are equally represented in queer
communities?
No, I think we have to fend for our story
to be heard and I think our stories aren't as
present in communities we overlap with.
I've felt honored to be able to tell my story,
but at the same time I have spent a billion
years publishing my own work and putting
it out into the world whether or not people
wanted to see it. Still, this has totally lent to
being shut down by predominantly white
communities who didn't want race to put
a damper on their "radical punk" or "radical
queer" circles. Don't get me wrong; there is
love and support out there. I just think that
the experience of being out and proud and
the experience of shooting a middle finger
to the culture that attacked your gay identity is very sought after, but I don't relate
to that. I am Latina and I don't want to give
JUNE
2013
CURVE
33
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a middle finger to the culture that attacked
my identity. I want to fix that fracture and
that is difficult and it's a less romantic route
to queer acceptance.
You started out by publishing your
Green Day fanzine Green zine, but
when did you begin to consider building a career out of your artwork and
stories?
I was 17 when I realized I wanted to dedicate
my whole life to making art and music in the
punk rock community and that vision hasn't
really changed. I've always wanted to com~
municate anger or frustration or triumph
through art or music. My projects were
received well, so that always urged me to
continue making them.
Have you ever questioned your career
path or focus as an artist?
When I was younger I had periods where I
would feel lost about sustaining my art, but
some weird turn of events would always
push me in the right direction. In 2007 I
was having a weird time about the direction
my art was going in, and then I was asked to
go on the Sister Spit Tour by Michelle Tea.
This experience totally changed my life and
urged me to do what I love, as opposed to
what is 100 percent marketable or sustain~
able. The veteran Sister Spit artists on that
tour-Eileen Myles, Michelle Tea, Annie
Oakley and Ali Liebegott-really showed
me that you can grow and still be true to
your punk upbringing at the same time.
If you could go back in time, what
would you say to the young, closeted
Cristy we meet in Spit and Passion?
I would tell her to keep questioning the
government and the morality of everyone
at school. I'd tell her to keep loving her
new punk universe like there's no tomor~
row because the likeminded people will
come around sophomore year-and if you
have to sneak the punk clothes in your
backpack, that's just what you need to do.
(croadcore.com) •
EDITOR'S
PICK»
BYRACHEL
PEPPER
Damn
Love
Jasmine
Beacn-~errera
(lgPuolisning)
On YQUr
PC/MAC
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Jmm
nm-rmm
It's no wonder that Jasmine Beach-Ferrera's first collection of short stories,
DamnLove, has been marinating for some time. Her work has been published
in the BellevueLiterarv Review and the Baltimore Review, and "Hit Me," a story
in this collection, was listed in the Other Distinguished Stories section of the annual
Best American Short Stories in 2008. But Beach-Ferrera (the recipient of a
2010 NEA Literature Fellowship) has interests that are not
just literary: She also holds a divinity degree from Harvard
and is currently the director of the Campaign for Southern
Equality, a grassroots LGBT advocacy organization based
in Asheville, N.C.
DamnLovefocuses on characters living in the South
and in the San Francisco Bay Area. Central to the collection are three childhood friends, Peter, Keisha and Alex,
around whose lives these stories orbit. Peter, a gay man
ostracized by his parents, discovers that the mother who skipped his wedding
in "Different Paths, Same Woods" needs his help in "American Martyr." As adults,
Alex and Keisha lead very different lives, but they are bound by their inexplicable
and enduring childhood love. Beach-Ferrera subtly captures both the connections and the conflicts between people: gays and straights, parents and children,
addicts and healers. Her skill lies in juxtaposing her characters' Southern-gothic
memories of childhood, such as those portrayed in "Custody Bus," with their
more mundane concerns as adult LGBT people. Whether they are receiving
medical treatment, walking around the Castro, contemplating military enlistment,
or even just recalling "a restaurant on Church that charged $20 for a plate of
meatloaf," Beach-Ferrera's characters poignantly explore their humanity while
coping with universal themes of grief, loss and desire.
~Lfrvt:!'
~
get you rs today.
curvemag.com
Want to see your pet here? We'd love to meet them, too.
Visit curvemag.com/satisfied for details.
REVIEWS/
TECH
Lean and Lovely Laptop
The skinny on the ultra-thin Acer Aspire S7 notebook.
omputers can be described as a
lot of things-powerful,
versatile, ultra-portable-but
rarely if
ever do you hear one referred to
as attractive. More seldom still will you find a
notebook that's both good-looking and capable,
but that's exactly what Acer's Aspire S7 brings
to the table (or lap, or airplane's seat back tray).
In other words, much like Acer spokeswoman
and bisexual bombshell Megan Fox, the Aspire
is equal parts pretty and powerful.
Clad in nearly unbreakable white glass, the
aluminum Aspire S7 is incredibly thin and
incredibly light. Its all-metal keyboard emits
a subtle blue glow in low-light conditions and
its multitude of ports and jacks are almost
unnoticeable until you need them. The whole
thing is so low profile you could probably put
it in a manila envelope, but thankfully it comes
with a form-fitting sleeve that's as minimal as
the machine itself. Which is welcome news for
queer gals who find they're frequently working
while on the go.
Once you get beyond just how good looking the Aspire S7 is, you'll find an extremely
competent ultrabook computer that can handle anything you throw at it with ease, from
office to lifestyle applications and even cuttingedge games. It comes loaded with Windows 8,
and while Microsoft's latest operating system
may seem a bit off-putting at first, it's made
C
eY RANDY NELSON
infinitely more usable by the S7's touchscreen.
This full HD, widescreen display allows you to
use the computer much like you would a tablet,
with the added benefit of a full keyboard and
trackpad for when you want to get traditional.
Whether you're browsing the web, playing a game or watching a movie, the screen is
downright stunning, with vivid color and a
high resolution that makes reading text very
easy on the eyes. The screen is paired with stereo speakers that are powered by Dolby audio,
meaning that the computer sounds as good as
it looks.
Another great feature is the solid-state
drive, which takes the place of a traditional
hard disk. Not only is it completely quiet and
nearly immune to damage from sudden movements or falls, but it's several times faster too,
meaning that all your files will open in an
instant-perfect
for on-the-go use when you
need quick access to your information.
The Aspire S7 doesn't have a DVD-ROM
drive, however, so if that's something you regularly use you'll need to either get an external
one or make the switch to USB thumb drives.
That's just one small concession for what is
otherwise a very well thought out machine.
So, if you're a mobile-minded lady who's been
looking for a computer that's equal parts powerful and aesthetically pleasing, we really can't
recommend the S7 more highly. (acer.com)•
$100
PP OFF
when you mention
"CURVE'
imi Gonzalez grew up in inner-city Detroit and now
spends 46 weeks a year on the road, performing
comedy. When she's not traveling, home is a walnut
farm on five and a half acres in rural Michigan. She got
her start in 1987 when she was a finalist for a "Funniest
Person on Wall Street" segment on the Today show. She didn't win,
but the success propelled her to keep pursuing her dream to work full
time as a stand up comic. Curve caught up with Gonzalez just as she
was finishing her seventh season in Provincetown, Mass.
What are your favorite things about
Provincetown?
Women's Week, because it's the pot of gold
at the end of the dirty rainbow. There are
so many women, you can't even get to flyer
all of them. I like all the women's activities,
like Girl Splash, Memorial Day Weekend,
and Women of Color Weekend. Those are
my favorite parts of P-town. And of course
the beautiful environment.
I'm a Pisces and Cuban, I love to swim
and I'm really good at it, so I love the
beaches. I also love the sense of gay community. In P-town, I have friendships with
my gay brothers and the girls. P-town is
like connective tissue between the cells of
my gay body and the skin of what I present to the world.
What keeps you going as a comic?
I've been a professional comic on the road
for 14 years now. What keeps me going is
the hardest thing that there is to do and
that's trying to break new material. You've
got your "Pt material, you know what
works, and you lean on it. Creating new
material is stepping out into the unknown
and having my audience go with me.
For example, I threw some political stuff
in last night and they just shut down. They
did not want to hear it. They just wanted
to hear something bawdy and playful and
silly and they didn't want to talk about the
election. All right, back to it. And then the
audience came right back with me. That's
a crazy feeling, to have the audience in
your hand and watch them sift like sand,
and then have to go back and pick that up
again and hold it the right way, so it doesn't
leave you.
So breaking new material is a little
hard, but new material is the only thing
that makes it worth doing, because it
makes you feel fresh.
That's why comedy is an art and not
a science. You can't replicate your results
every time. Something could just fall out
of your mouth and just kill them that you
had no idea you were going to say.
The first time I ever told this joke
about Kansas being so full of nothing but
wheat that when you drive through your
eyes get a yeast infection, that came flying
out of my mouth on stage. It's a great joke,
but I had no idea where it came from.
Some nights are so magical, you are flying. You are in the stratosphere of flight.
And that's interesting for a Pisces to say.
So, you're really into the Zodiac ...
I'm into the Zodiac. I'm into animalismmeaning "things of the earth" -and natural
references. I'm in love with the earth.
I just performed a wedding for two
friends of mine and I wrote some really
beautiful things that I think are going to be
the ideal for what I want in a partner and
in a relationship. God knows, I am chronically single. I don't want to be. I want a
healthy relationship, but I really can't fake
it. You might be able to fake some things,
but you can't fake love. I'm old enough, I
recognize that everybody has baggage, and
we're just looking for someone whose luggage matches our set.
At my age, I expect you to have just one
piece of baggage, and it better fit under the
seat in front of you. Or neatly in the overhead compartment, where I can't see it until
it's time to get off the flight. God help us
if we get off this love flight and we have to
go to baggage claim and you need a Sherpa
for all your shit. Because I am not carrying
it. I'm gonna get my own cab out of here.
What does it mean to be a
stealth butch?
It means to be a butch with long
hair. That's it. And if you're a
femme, you recognize the way
I talk and the way I walk, and
who I am is your butch complement, ready to escort you, my
darling. I like the girly-girls.
What was it like playing for
the troops?
That audience over there is one
of the most grateful audiences
ever. First of all, they're a captive audience. I rarely get to play for a room full
of people with guns, because I don't play
for my hometown of Detroit very often. I
am a bleeding-heart liberal. The last thing
I believe in is war. Least of all, an unjustified war like Iraq. But I've been to Iraq
twice and Afghanistan once and what's
out there are working-class people, a lot
of them young, who thought they were
helping their country, who wanted to do
anything they could after 9 / 11. There are
a lot of straight guys in the audience and I
do jokes to make them happy. Invariably, I
end up selling a lot of those straight guys
my"Trained by a Lesbian"T-shirt. So I am
doing my part for lesbian visibility by putting the word "lesbian" on thousands of
men's chests. We give them a show, they
are so happy to have something different and a taste of home. They love it, and
they're happy. It's just one way of giving
back just a little. (mimigonzalez.com) •
C ~CH MOREOUttER
QUE'~NSOF O9~E0Y
THIS~~I0EI kOM
SAN IA C CJZTO
NORTH~PTON,
THE QUEENSARE
COMING TO A TOWN
NEARYOU GO TO
POPPYCHAMPLIN
COM
JUNE
2013
CURVE
39
Actor, model, film
and TV producer,
and insta-mom
Tracy Ryerson on
.
her newest proJect.
By Jenny Block
40
CURVE
JUNE
2013
mous
he next time you're tempted to throw up your hands and
say "I'm too busy," you should take a look at Tracy Ryerson's
schedule. Though she's probably best known for her stint
on season one of Showtime's The Real L Word, Ryerson
is a TV personality, an actor, a film and television producer, a
podcaster and an insta-mom to her partner's three children. She
lives in L.A. and loves her work, both in front of and behind the
camera. But most of all she's loving her work at home.
Ryerson's most recent role as an actor is in Kiss Her I'm Famous,
a web series released on tellofilms.com in March. She has also
appeared in DJ Lubel's controversial music video "Women of LA;'
as well as in the first-ever LGBT-focused commercial for Lexus.
Behind the camera, Ryerson works in development, previously for
film and now for TV.
When Ryerson began dating Stamie Karakasidis, just three
months before The Real L Word began taping, Karakasidis had
three children: Jagger, 8, and Nikos and Dautry, 6. Ryerson became
a parent overnight.
"It came extremely naturally;' says Ryerson. "I find it easier to
deal with the kids than Stamie sometimes. It was oddly simple, and
it still is:'
Ryerson says she never really felt that she might have to walk
away from the relationship because three kids were part of the
equation. In fact, she says,'Tm still waiting for that to hit me. About
a year in, I was like, 'Whoa, this is four hearts that could be broken
if we break up:"
But breaking up doesn't seem to be anywhere in the picture. In
fact, Ryerson says she wouldn't mind having some kids of her own
and loves spending every minute she can with Jagger, Nikos and
Dautry. "They're awesome. They're growing up so fast. I don't want
to miss anything:'
As to whether the two-mommy thing is any big deal for the kids,
Ryerson says that it's simply not an issue. "They have a ton of love:'
However, for Ryerson and Karakasidis the legal recognition of
same-sex unions is a very big deal. They vehemently support marriage equality.
"It's a civil right, more than anything. People should have the
right to love and marry anyone they choose. [Being legally married] is especially important [when couples have] children. It's
unreal to me that it hasn't been passed. It's mind-boggling. It's an
important right:'
Although Ryerson loves being on screen, being in a reality show
was never at the top of her list. "My roommate at the time had
applied to be on the show and she applied for both of us. Producers
and promoters put my name in the hat too. But I wasn't planning to
do it. I didn't think it would mesh very well with work:' Even after
being offered a place on the show, Ryerson declined at first. She said
she had to "let it marinate:'
Ultimately, she said yes and has no regrets about her choice.
"It was definitely different, and it's hard to explain if you haven't
done it yoursel£ You have this immediate family, and sometimes family doesn't
get along. It was a fun ride, a really cool
positive step in our lives. You just have to
know what comes along with it, and I feel
like I have my head on straight:'
The best part about the modicum of
fame she has achieved is that it has provided her with a platform. "People listen
to you, and hopefully you use it for good;'
she says. As to the message she'd like to
get out there, that's an easy one. "Don't
judge a book by its cover. One of the reasons I did The Real L Word
was to get the message out that you can be feminine and gay:'
That's certainly something viewers will get from Kiss Her I'm
Famous, as well. Ryerson says she loved the challenge of shooting
the web series, not only because her character, who is insecure and
often angry, is different from who she really is, but because the
shooting schedule was intense, five episodes in just five days, when
a 30-second commercial can often take up to 12 hours to shoot.
The first season of Kiss Her I'm Famous was funded virally, and
the possibility of a second season is already in discussion. The plot
centers on the characters trying to cash in on fame by making a sex
tape. Ryerson is excited to see how the dramedy is received.
As for what's next, Ryerson says that she's had a book in the
works for a while now. "I started doing the book after The Real L
Word. It's really about being an insta-mom. How do you change
a diaper? How do you get along with an ex? There's no guidebook for that. The problem is that people kept seeing it as a
gay book. And it's not:' It's for anyone and everyone who's in an
insta-parent situation.
Also in the works is another reality TV show. "I can't talk about
it yet;' she says, "but it's gay:' In the meantime, she'll continue to
work in TV development, and continue to audition. "Clearly, my
niche is playing the young straight mom;' she laughs. "I don't tell
them [I'm gay] till I get on set:'•
JUNE
2013
CURVE
41
AQUEER
ARCHITECT
FROM
ASMALL
TOWN
ISBLOWING
AWAY
THEFASHION
WORLD
WITH
HER
GUTSY
DESIGNS.
BY ELIZABETH ESTOCHEN // PHOTOS BY PAMU
ok at the daring and structured designs of Chromat,
d you'd likely never guess they came from the mind
undation of the for
. Her cage pieces and strappy
nned by celebrities and fashionies, Grimes and Nicki Minaj. She
ostumes for Beyonce's backup
Super Bowl performance, and has
McCharen started Chromat as an after-hours
project in 2008, after working as a seamstress for the
drama department of the University of Virginia. She
began showcasing her garments through self-planned
fashion shows, and with the aid of ex-girlfriend Emily
Kappes, birthed the Chromat baby we know and love
today. After a few experimental seasons in Virginia,
Chromat took off with orders in New York City.
Chromat has an eye-catching, experimental quality that is both androgynous and sexy. Some designs
accentuate and exaggerate the female figure, while
others remain gender neutral and can be worn by
anyone. "Construction of gender is definitely something we think about when designing pieces," says
McCharen. "Chromat wearers are bold, confident and
like to stand out. I love that so many amazing queer
and queer supporters have worn Chromat." That they
have. Her pieces have even been photographed on the
queen of androgyny himself, Serbian-Australian model
Andrej Pejic.
Not only do McCharen's designs appeal to the
growing androgynous community, they also target and
draw from powerful women who aren't afraid to kick
a little ass. The Spring/Summer 2013 Riot Box collection features leather straps, pentagram chest patterns
and lots of black and navy to capture the essence of
badass women like the Guerilla Girls, Riot Grrrls and Joan Jett.
Pull on a Lycra one-piece or a leather harness, and you'll be
ready to go punch patriarchy in the face.
While she might be a rarity as a queer female couturier,
McCharen has no qualms about her place in the fashion world.
"I do feel like a bit of a minority in fashion, as it can feel like the
fashion world is generally inhabited by straight girls and gay
guys," says McCharen. "But there are definitely growing scenes
in New York City based around androgynous fashion, like
Veer and Mari macho." McCharen also claims the community
of designers where she is now definitely shows support. "It's
been amazing to meet so many awesome creative people in
New York City that are also doing interesting things in fashion,"
she says. "It has definitely gone against the stereotypes of
exclusive, snobby fashionista types that I think mainstream
media regurgitates."
Right now, McCharen is working on Chromat's Spring/
Summer 2014 collection, making its big debut at the 2014 New
York Fashion Week in September. As for the future, McCharen
says she'd "love to see Chromat continue to evolve into a
fashion empire centered around experimental material investigations." She adds, "I'd also really love to work with Bjork."
Call us biased, but we'll take a pentagram swimsuit over
a dress made out of a giant swan any day.
(chromatgarments.com) •
PULLON A
LYCRAONEPIECEORA
LEATHER
HARNESS
ANDYOU'LL
BEREADYTO
GOPUNCH
PATRIARCHY
IN THE FACE.
013
CURVE
45
The Butch Clothing
Company; Tomboy
Tailors (bottom left)
46
CURVE
JUNE
2013
SUITUP!
THE
TREND
INMENSWEAR
FOR
WOMEN
ISTAKING
OFF.
BY CELESTE LECOMPTE
When Jen Zak was preparing for Her wedding last year, she turned
to Nordstrom to buy a uit. Sure, the big-name retailer had a wide
selection but 0st impolitand , it offered free alterations. The 34y:ear-old buta& lesbian kn w 'rom years of experience that when
you're shop ing men's suits, Iterations are required. She bought a
navx blue lmen vest and pants from the online store. But the alterations equired an in-person visit.
"I can't remember\. more degrading experience;' recalls Zak.
"I had to get the pants tailored and also have the bust fixed on my
vest. Not one but two 'alterations experts' had to be brought in.
They fussed over how putting in darts would ruin the 'design' of the
suit. All of this was done in a busy dressing room where other men
were getting fitted as well;' she says."lt was embarrassing and painful.
I was getting this for the best day of my life, a celebration, and it left
me feeling like a weirdo, an outcast, second rate:'
Her story is all too familiar. But thanks to a handful of new
companies, menswear is getting a gender-bending overhaul that
could make it easier for many lesbians and transmen to find suits
that fit and feel good.
SEE AND BE SEEN
Mary Going is among those providing better products and better
customer service for butches and other lesbians who are on the
masculine end of the spectrum. Her company, Saint Harridan,
launched this winter with a bang. The company's Kickstarter
campaign blew past Going's original goal of $87,000, raising more
than $137,000 toward its first run of ready-to-wear suits, shirts
and accessories, all featuring men's styles tailored to accommodate female figures. Lesbians have long wished for companies like
these to exist, and now is their moment.
Going attributes this to the growing visibility of queer women
in culture. As gays and lesbians have gained more rights and more
cultural acceptance, we're seeing a shift in our ability to safely
explore sexuality and gender presentation in public ways. "Clothing
might seem superficial, but it is a way to explore and express
identity;' she says.
High-profile celesbians like Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel
Maddow have paved the way for the growth of this trend. Ellen's
boyish wardrobe is practically a featured guest on her daytime
show, and her distinctively lesbian style attracts enormous attention and fandom. Several of the new suit-makers say that "the
Ellen suit"-referring
to the white Zac Posen suit in which she
married Portia de Rossi-is one of their most in-demand styles.
But Ellen's status as a style icon isn't just about her. It's about
the mainstream visibility she's brought to lesbians who are looking
for options outside traditional feminine fashion. "Visibility is
creating more room for people to try things;' says Going. "It's a
virtuous cycle:•
POWER SUITS
Visibly queer women are increasingly found in the ranks of whitecollar professions like law, business and politics, where suits are
the norm.
"For me, wearing suits is not about my gender identity, but
about my attorney identity;' one 26-year-old lawyer told me."When
I wear a suit, people treat me differently. I do not want to be mistaken for a paralegal or a secretary, so, as a woman, it is even more
important that I immediately appear as 'lawyer' when people look
at me, and wearing a nice suit is essential to that identity:'
While casual wear for men and women has become less differentiated over the years, suits are still strongly differentiated along
gender lines. Women's suits typically feature deep necklines, pleats,
fake pockets, contrast stitching, short jackets, flared cuts and hiphugging pants. For many potential customers, these details are deal
breakers. "Women's suits aren't appealing because I'm not interested in the stylistic conventions that mark them as 'for the ladiez;"
says mk Eagle, a 29-year-old butch librarian in Boston.
Shaz Riley worked in the corporate world as a project manager
before founding The Butch Clothing Company in 2009. "I used to
have to wear smart clothes and suits. I don't wear feminine or girl
clothes at all, so I was forced to go buy men's clothes;' she says. "I
always suspected I wasn't alone:'
The same was true for Melissa Millan, creator of the Androgyny line of professional button-down shirts. A former investment
banker turned entrepreneur, Millan wanted to design clothing that
inspires personal confidence."For me, it's having more androgynous
clothing that fits me, that I feel comfortable and confident in:'
COST CONCERNS
Cost is a hurdle that many of the young companies worry about,
despite their early signs of success. Menswear is, across the board,
more expensive than women's clothing. The difference, many in the
business say, is that men are expected to own and wear fewer items.
The focus is on quality and durability, rather than on high-turnover
styles and a new look daily.
"Many men may have one to three suits, which they can wear
with five shirts and different ties;' explains Going. "There's an
acknowledgment that men are going to wear a few things many
times. Because of that, they can invest in high-quality things:'
The result is hefty price tags: Saint Harridan's line of readyto-wear suits is among the most competitively priced. A two-piece
retails at $625, and a three-piece suit rings up at $810. That's more
than many off-the-rack men's suits, but it's far below the custom
tailored options. A made-to-measure
suit from The Butch
Clothing Company, based in London, can cost between $1,000 and
$1,300-and
up to $2,000 for a three-piece set with a shirt. The
average price of a suit from Duchess, Clothier is between $2,000
JUNE
2013
CURVE
47
The Butch Clothing Company
(clockwise from left);
Fourteen; The Butch Clothing
Company; Tomboy Tailors;
Her Tuxedo
FORMAL ALLY:
HER TUXEDO
This exclusively online, family-owned
company was inspired by the progress of
marriage equality and the prediction that
lesbian couples would want affordable
formal wear for their weddings. Tailored to
fit the female form, Her Tuxedo features
classic pants with satin stripe, a subtle satin
finish on jacket lapels, and the body is cut to
accommodate female curves. The suits and
accessories are designed and manufactured
exclusively for Her Tuxedo, which is now
in the process of introducing a greater
size range (sizes 4 through 20) by the fall.
Additional sizes for shirts and waistcoats
will come next year together with a wider
range of tuxedo colors. Her Tuxedo offers a
detailed size chart and returns policy.
48
CURVE
JUNE
2013
IIlGHPROFILE
CELESBIANS
LIKEELLEN
DEGENERES
ANDRACHEL
MADDO'W
HAVEPAVED
THE'WAY
FOR1'HE
GRO'WTHOF
THISTREND.
and $3,000, with an extra
$200 or more for a custom
shirt. Androgyny's readyto-wear button downs will
set buyers back $125.
The wedding market,
where customers are more
likely to take the plunge on
a big-ticket item, is certainly
driving sales. Bernadette
Smith, whose company, 14
Stories, has helped plan
hundreds of gay weddings
over the years, says one of
the biggest challenges for lesbian couples is what to wear. In a
survey of 500 newlyweds and engaged gay couples, she found
that 58 percent of lesbian couples had at least one partner who
wore-or planned to wear-a suit or tux on the big day. Where
to find it was the challenge. Smith's solution was Fourteen, a
line of ready-to-wear suits sold online. (Most ensembles cost
under $1,000.)
Duchess, which specializes in bespoke suits for both men and
women, has seen its business grow 30 percent each year, with a
sizeable portion of that growth in custom suits for weddings, both
gay and straight. When the company started, eight years ago, it had
just one or two women customers each year. Today, queer weddings
make up approximately 20 percent of its business, according to Ariel
Arrow, who heads up design.
SERVICE MAKES THE SALE
Ian M., a 36-year-old butch dyke who has worn suits regularly
since her first job, is skeptical about such prices. Ian says she has
regularly acquired nice brand-name suits for between $200 and
$300. ''Any price over that, it has to be the latest in high fashion
from Paris or Milan for me to consider it;' she says.
Department stores such as Nordstrom and Macy's offer a wide
range of off-the-rack options (many of them sold online), and often
provide free or low-cost alterations with purchase. The key to making
these kinds of suits work, Ian says, is asking for help.
"My advice to any female-bodied person looking for a suit is
to leverage all the insights and experience the salespeople have;'
she says.
After a few awkward experiences of being ignored by salespeople, or feeling unwelcome, Ian decided to ask for help. "I went
up to the salesman and said,Tm looking to buy my first suit. I need
advice on finding an affordable suit that fits me;" she recalls. "You
know what? They loved it. By stating what I was looking for, it
opened the door to the conversation, and they were able to treat me
like any other customer. There are a lot of men out there who have
no idea how to find a suit that fits them either:'
While Ian's advice may offer comfort for some, others want
more than functional acceptance. They want a company that
"gets it:' This year's upstart clothiers are hoping they can offer
that experience. "There are so many situations where you don't
get good customer service;' says Mary Going. "It only takes a
couple events to set you up for that anxiety. I want to remove
that anxiety. You want a place where you don't have to worrywhere you feel wanted and validated:' •
IF THE SHOE FITS ...
The Internet has helped fuel the boom in companies
making traditional menswear for queer customers. Most
of the new companies are selling their products on line.
The Butch Clothing Co. recently introduced Skype
fitting sessions for customers who can't make it to
London for an appointment. Crowdfunding platforms
like Kickstarter and lndieGoGo have been a critical tool
for raising startup funds and proving market demand.
But while the new on line stores are a first shot across
the bow of the traditional menswear market, many companies (and their potential customers) are eager to see
physical retail shops appear.
"I feel in myself and other people a craving for legitimization/validation," says Saint Harridan founder Mary
Going. "If we had a place where people could come and
feel like, 'I'm not a freak here,' it would be a wonderful
haven for people." Saint Harridan will launch a traveling
pop-up store this year to let customers try on its readyto-wear suits and accessories. A retail store will follow, if
the company meets its sales goals.
Retail has its challenges, to be sure: keeping
inventory stocked (how many suits, shoes or shirts,
and in which sizes?}, paying rent, paying retail staff
and attracting customers are among the top concerns.
But having a physical location can also help boost a
brand's visibility and give potential buyers a hands-on
experience with product.
San Francisco-based Tomboy Tailors started with
a brick-and-mortar approach. The brainchild of Zel
Anders, Tomboy Tailors makes made-to-measure suits
for butch and transmasculine women, and provides a
home for other specialty goods aimed at its audience:
small-size mens' dress shoes, Androgyny's buttondown shirts, and bowties and other accessories. Anders
says Tomboy Tailors did $7,000 in sales in its first week.
The ground-floor shop is located inside the Crocker
Galleria, a downtown shopping center that's looking to
renovate its image with a farmers market and new, entrepreneurial tenants. There's a grand piano at the front,
and a small bar along the back wall.
At its grand opening in February, the room was
jammed with the noisy hubbub of butch and boyish
lesbians, sipping champagne and admiring each other's
dapper party attire. Bow ties, vests and tweed were the
most popular style choices of the day. As one attendee
put it: "It was great to see all those butches out in style."
JUNE
2013
CURVE
49
I
l
TOGAY
CONVERSION
THEORY
Are straight women really three drinks away
from gay? BY TEMMA EHRENFELD
I
t happens every now and again: A woman who has always
been with men wants to sleep with you. Could this be for
real? When Katy Perry sang "I Kissed a Girl;' stealing her
tide from a 1995 indie hit by Jill Sobule, lots of girls sang
along-right next to their boyfriends. Some pretty young things
even kiss and pet in straight bars, while straight couples in the
swinger scene heat up their sex lives with wife~on~wife action or
MFF threesomes. So, how many straight women are actually really
interested in other women as lovers-or, to put it another way,
what does it mean when people cross the orientation lines? Science
50
CURVE
JUNE 2013
is chipping in with some answers.
The pioneer sex researcher Alfred Kinsey and his team based
their theories on evidence from interviews conducted in the late
1940s. When they asked people about their fantasies and their
actual behavior, they kept hearing that over a lifetime some people's
sexual histories showed quite a bit of line crossing. To quote the
current website of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, the
team found that "sexual behavior, thoughts and feelings toward the
same or opposite sex was not always consistent across time:'To sort
that out, Kinsey came up with a scale that attempted to measure
where people stood on a continuum from gay to straight.
Then came the gay civil rights movement, dominated by gay
men and their reports of a powerful biological drive aimed entirely
at men. Politics, even rainbow politics, works better in black and
white: The movement took the position that people fit into one
of three groups-gay, straight or bi-and dismissed any shades
of gray. Some dismissed bisexuality, decreeing that anyone who
identified as bi was "really" gay or straight.
Over in the scientific camp, the evidence Kinsey had tried to
address with his scale wasn't studied for decades. But recently, the
psychologist Robert Epstein, a former editor of PsychologyToday,
has argued that Kinsey was right. Sexual orientation, he says, is a
continuum and most people fall somewhere in the middle, which
means they "experience some degree of same-sex attraction at
some point in their lives:' Epstein, who has collected online survey responses from more than 17,000 respondents around the
world, says that their answers match the Katy Perry phenomenon:
Women report more same-sex attraction than men do and more
flexibility in expressing their desires.
Cal State Fullerton psychologist Richard Lippa didn't just ask
survey questions: He had men and women who consider themselves heterosexual rate their attraction to pictures of models
in swimsuits. He also tracked the time they spent looking at the
photos. Separately, he asked other participants to rank the models
according to how attractive they were by societal standards. As predicted, the men were keener on the female models and spent more
time looking at them. The women, on the other hand, said they
were attracted to both male and female models, and they spent
more time looking at the most attractive models, whether they
were male or female. In another study, Lippa looked at how libido
matched up with bisexual activity when he analyzed results from
online surveys created by a team of psychologists for the BBC One
television series Secrets of the Sexes. The results seemed to show that
lustier women are more bi. "There may be some degree of latent
same-sex attraction in most women;' Lippa says. "In women with
high sex drives, this latent attraction can be energized:'
The Kinsey interviews found changes in sexual desires over
time-but not a lot of people with a continuous attraction to both
genders. It's possible that just as people's libidos can change, so can
the object of their desires. A woman may get more into women
when she's feeling especially hot. (Or not.)
University of Utah psychologist Lisa Diamond reports that
women may feel drawn to women for years then switch to menor vice versa. And sometimes they come to feel that their response
has nothing to do with gender, she reports. As one woman she
studied put it, "Deep down, it's just a matter of who I meet and fall
in love with:'
Diamond has been following 100 women who described themselves as lesbian, bisexual or "unlabeled" since 1995, when they
were in their 20s, interviewing them every two or three years. At
each point, she says, 25 to 32 percent of the group changed their
sexual identity, and the switchers were not the same people. The
most popular change was to "unlabeled;' which Diamond says
supports her fluidity thesis. Nearly 80 percent of the sample had
changed their sexual identity at least once by 2009, up from the
two-thirds she reported when she published her book, Sexual
Fluidity: Understanding Womens Love and Desire. "Six years after
[writing] the book, the data holds up;' she told me.
Things get even more complex when scientists look at the female
physiological response. Studies that try to measure response independent of awareness-through
eye tracking, brain scans and
genital arousal-find
that the female "sexual response is nonspecific;' psychologist Meredith Chivers reported in her 2010 review of
the research since 2005. Straight women, for example, will respond
as much to a picture of a woman masturbating as to a picture of
a man, whereas heterosexual men (and lesbians) prefer photos of
women. In Chivers's own research, from the University of Toronto,
she and her colleagues found that women of all sexual orientations
could be aroused by a range of images, including male-male, malefemale, and female-female pornography.
Of course, this doesn't mean that women will actually sleep with
other women."We don't know the links between desire and behavior;' she told me. "There are a lot of leaps in between:' Interestingly,
women's statements about their sexual arousal and their measured
physiological responses match up less neatly than men's, and some
research suggests a link from the mismatch to sexual dysfunction.
To boil that down, women's sexual responses are complex, and they
themselves don't always know what they like.
So love confuses us, and love changes. The big fear about dating
a woman with a bisexual history is that she'll leave you for a man.
It happens. I knew a lesbian who fled her native Mumbai after a
painful breakup with a woman who had left her for a man. They
had been living together for four years."The sex was great;' she says.
"We were happy. She left me because in India I couldn't give her
what she wanted, a marriage and family:' Another woman I metcall her Dina-told
me about the most passionate sex of her life.
Her lover, a woman, left her to marry a man. She couldn't understand it: Wasn't her lover a lesbian? When they were together, she
had expressed no attraction to men.
Diamond has a theory to explain these stories: Attraction,
romance and identity are separate psychological functions. Dina's
lover was capable of attraction and love for both genders, at different points in her life, but ultimately wanted a heterosexual identity.
Women also choose lesbian identities. A friend I've known since
we were teens-call her Jessica-had only heterosexual relationships before she decided in her mid-20s to "do the lesbian thing;'
she says. When she met a lesbian visiting her rural area for a
weekend conference, they decided on the spot to live together. She
bought a house and her new lover moved in. They held a large marriage ceremony and built a tight-knit lesbian circle around a weekly
spiritual group. But the relationship went awry and she sought
out sexual affairs with local men. When, in her 30s, she fell for a
man, she was less afraid of losing her companion than her beloved
community. Now, at 51,Jessica has a happy and monogamous relationship with a woman, and she pushes aside the occasional male
fantasy. "I don't think I'd find a man who I was that emotionally
drawn to;' she says.
I know of another woman-call
her Carol-who
married in
her 20s in order to have children. When her husband asked
for a divorce, Carol fell head over heels for the first woman she
slept with, a woman who also had a long marriage in her past. Like
Jessica, Carol has fantasies about sex with men, yet she's still blissful about her partner 10 years later. If she were ever alone again,
she says she'd probably stay alone. "I can imagine having sex with a
man;' she says, "but who wants to live with one?''
These stories fit with the complexity of the emerging biochemical data on love and desire. In this new understanding, romancethe butterflies, the obsession, the euphoria-is linked to the neurotransmitter dopamine. Let's call that Dopey. Lust is associated
with testosterone, or Testy, and then there's Oxy, or oxytocin, which
makes us bond and feel like family. (Blame the U-Haul phenomenon on Oxy.) Dopey, Testy and Oxy can come and go; they can
cooperate or fight.
Back to the woman who wants to sleep with you: Yes, even if
she's officially straight, evidence suggests that she could bond with
you and even fall in love with you. But it's your call on whether to
give her your heart. •
JUNE
2013
CURVE
51
THE HOUSE OF WINDSOR
Pre-Stonewall lesbian Edith Windsor may win us the rights we've been waiting for.
BY VICTORIA A. BROWNWORTH
he romance between Edith "Edie" Windsor and Thea Spyer neatly
encapsulates the last 50 years of lesbian history. Edie Windsor
and Thea Spyer met in the early 1960s, after Windsor's first
marriage, to a man, ended in divorce. In 1965, Spyer, a clinical
psychologist asked Windsor to marry her. There was no ring
because, as Windsor explained, that would have raised questions: "Who is
he? When do we meet him?" Instead, there was a pin, a circle of diamonds.
T
They were "twilight"lesbians then, in the pre~Stonewall
era when being out was almost unheard of and women
who loved other women lived in the shadows, as "friends;'
and were often mistaken for sisters.
But by May 22, 2007, the shadows were gone: 41
years after they moved in together, Spyer and Windsor
were married in Toronto, in a ceremony officiated by
Justice Harvey Brownstone, Canada's first openly gay
judge. Their wedding announcement appeared in the
52
CURVE
JUNE 2013
New York Times the fol~
lowing Sunday.
Two years later, Spyer
died in Manhattan, where
the couple made their
home. Although same~
sex marriages were not
yet legal in New York, the
state recognized same~sex
marriages performed in other jurisdictions, but the fed~
eral government did not. As a consequence, Windsor
was forced to pay more than $360,000 in federal estate
taxes-money she would have kept, if recognition of
same~sex marriage were the law of the land. After all, a
heterosexual wife does not have to pay taxes on money
left to her by her spouse.
Edie Windsor-then
SO-decided to become the
public face of marriage~equality activism. Windsor
•
Wedded in Canada
approached several LGBT rights organizations, but they were
unwilling or unable to help her. Then she found a private attorney,
Roberta Kaplan, who eagerly agreed to take the case. Kaplan said,
"When I heard her story, it took me five seconds, maybe less;' to
decide. The ACLU would later sign on to the case as well.
There were two lower court rulings. Initially, the U.S. District
Court for the Southern District of New York found in Windsor's
favor. Then, the 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the District
Court's decision. Windsor was ecstatic and told reporters, "It's
thrilling to have a court finally recognize how unfair it is for the
government to have treated us as though we were strangers:'
Unfortunately, the Obama administration, which in 2011
abandoned its defense of DOMA, still claims that it is bound
to enforce it, until it is overturned or declared unconstitutional;
so, it did not let the lower court ruling stand, and on June 14,
2012, appealed to the Supreme Court to overturn the verdict of
the Appeals Court-a verdict that would have refunded Windsor's
money and also vitiated the section of DOMA that defines marriage.
More than just estate taxes but social security survivor benefits and
health benefits are also on the line.
The case was heard by the U.S. Supreme Court on March 27.
Windsor, now 83, sat in the courtroom hearing the story of her
life-and that of so many other lesbians-being presented to the
highest court in the land.
The commentary was swift and succinct. The court's most liberal
justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who is herself 80 years old and was
married to her husband for 56 years, until his death in 2010, listened to the arguments and said, an edge of disgust to her voice: "So
you're saying there are two kinds of marriage-the
full marriage
and then this sort of ... skim-milk marriaget
One solid vote for Windsor there.
After the arguments were heard, Windsor stood in front of the
Supreme Court and spoke to reporters. She could not talk about
the case, but she could talk about how she felt. A small, spry blonde,
with her hair in a classic bob and wearing a smoke-gray pantsuit
accented with a bright pink and tangerine scar£ she was glowing.
"AS WE INCREASINGLY
CAME OUT, PEOPLE
SAW THAT WE DIDN'T
HAVE HORNS. PEOPLE
LEARNED THAT WE
WERE THEIR KIDS AND
THEIR COUSINS AND
THEIR FRIENDS."
When she turned toward reporters and her scarf caught the breeze
just a bit, there it was: the circle pin on her left lapel, close to her
heart, a testament to her 44 years with Thea Spyer.
She said, her voice strong and vibrant, full of excitement, "I think
it went great. I think it went beautifully:'
Windsor also explained why the marriage fight is vital. "For
anyone who doesn't understand why we want it and why we need
it, OK, it's magic:' The whole process of coming out had changed
things-and her time-travel, from those twilight years to now, was
predicated on the fact that people were starting to understand who
lesbians really are.
''As we increasingly came our;' she said,"people saw that we didn't
have horns. People learned that we were their kids and their cousins
and their friends:'
She acknowledged that this acceptance, which the polls on marriage equality support, was new. Justice Elena Kagan underscored
that point when she read from the House Judiciary Committee
report on DOMA, which in 1996 was overwhelmingly supported
by both sides of the aisle in Congress. Kagan read-and Windsor
nodded along in the courtroom as she did so-"Congress decided
to reflect and honor a collective moral judgment and to express
moral disapproval of homosexuality:'
"Even 10 years ago;' Windsor said, she would have been "hiding
in the closet:' But that day, in front of the court, she was "thrilled
and humbled and exalted:'
On May 27, 2007, when the New York Times ran the announcement of the Spyer-Windsor marriage, the women looked as much
in love as any other newly married couple.
Now, four years after Spyer's death, Windsor continues to fight
for legal recognition of their love-for the woman she spent 44
years with, and for the rest of us. In the shadows no more. •
THE SUPREME COURT SHOULD BE RULING ON UNITED
STATES V. WINDSOR BY THE END OF JUNE.
JUNE
2013
CURVE
53
KATE THE GREAT
Pioneering transgender icon Kate Bornstein.
BY AMY LAME
ate Bornstein is my heroine. Her books have
been milestones in my life, offering advice,
ideas and inspiration at key moments when
everything seemed destined for doom. My first
great Kate encounter was Gender Outlaw,
which served as my bible in the early to mid-1990s,
when the war on the frontlines of gender politics was
particularly fierce, and I felt like an outsider in my own
community. Bornstein's soothing words assured me
that she'd always be there with a cup of tea and a wellpadded shoulder to cry on. The fact that Bornstein grew
up-as Al-just a few miles away from me in New Jersey
made me feel an even closer kinship.
K
I then encountered Hidden: A Gender, a performance piece based
on Bornstein's own life experience and that of the 19th~century
intersex Herculine Barbin. Though I never saw it performed live
(originally starring MxJustin Vivian Bond), I would read the script
over and over, as if my very next breath depended on it.
"Hidden: A Gender wasn't welcomed with open arms by the gay
and lesbian community;' Bornstein recounts. "Men who were get~
ting into metrosexuality and straight housewives loved it, though;'
she deadpans. "Most people are oppressed by a gender rule:' If the
message of hope for a gender utopia was lost on her own commu~
nity, it certainly caused parts of Middle America to leap out of
their La~Z~ Boys and take notice.
When a dear friend was struggling with her gender identity, I
headed straight to my local LGBT bookshop (yes, such things still
54
CURVE
JUNE 2013
existed!) and bought her a copy of Bornstien's My Gender
Workbook. Years later, she passed it on to her niece, who was
questioning her identity and is now in the process of transi~
tioning. It is comforting to know that Bornstein's depth of
knowledge, breadth of experience, and big~hearted approach
to life is impacting generations of queerlings across the globe.
So, with Bornstein's latest book, A Queer and Pleasant Danger
(Beacon Press), I was expecting life~changing stuff and I wasn't
disappointed. It is punchy and provocative, full of mirth and mel~
ancholy. From growing up male on the Jersey Shore (eat your heart
out, The Situation!) to marrying, becoming a Scientologist, tran~
sitioning, moving to San Francisco to live with radical sex~positive
femmes and then to New York to follow love, Bornstein's journey
is a blueprint for how to live without compromise but with heaps
of compassion.
In fact, it is more than a memoir. A Queer and Pleasant Danger is
a love letter to Bornstein's daughter, who remains a member of the
Church of Scientology, though Kate left in 1981, after 12 years of
membership. "Since the day I left, my daughter has not been able to
talk to me;' she says. A feeling of sadness rises in Bornstein's voice
when she admits,"! can't tell her how much I love her ... and I hold
no hope she will ever read it:'
Indeed, her daughter doesn't know anything of Bornstein's life
in the past 30 years. Was she having a gender crisis while she was a
Scientologistr ''Absolutely.I thought I was such a freak and a pervert,
and I wanted it to stop. I would cross dress in hotel rooms when I
was traveling for the church. But it never went away:'
Bizarrely, it was the church's teachings on genderless society that
gave Bornstein the courage to leave and seek reassignment. She
then became a sex~positive femme dyke. "I wore jumpsuits and
power suits when dungarees were in style, but Susie Bright gave me
the courage to wear dresses. I even wore three~color eye shadow!
That felt radical in the 1990s:' Bornstein quickly adds that things
have changed since then. "Curve now makes it OK for girls to be
feminist and sexy. We have to remember, the lilies of the field are
there to delight. It's part of our gender expression:'
Her outspoken sexiness has certainly won her many admirers,
but she admits to being "good at sex, but bad at politics:' She may
not know the ins and outs of Capitol Hill, but just being herself is
political, and she has found her political and spiritual home among
women. "I have found common ground with lesbians-and a lot of
fun in the dyke community:'
So how does Bornstein identifyr"I call myself a tranny. It's never
been a controversial word for me;' she declares. "It means anyone
who is fucking with gender, and that to me means family:' And, she
adds with a flourish,'Tm a diesel femme:'
Writing her memoir has been cathartic and enlightening. "The
one thing I have learned from A Queer and Pleasant Danger is sur~
prising-the
more I write about my own life in detail, the more
diverse my readership becomes:' I think replacing the Gideon Bible
in every hotel room with A Queer and Pleasant Danger would be a
good start.
Bornstein is brave for writing her memoir; the Church of
Scientology has been known to be less than lovely to those who
break ranks and tell of their experiences. Her recent cancer diag~
nosis will require even more bravery. She has the scars-and tat~
toos-that mark an amazing life lived on the edge of the precipice.
Long may she live in that queer and pleasant danger.•
■
"Iwish I could tell
my younger self
it gets better."
It can be hard to be young, but thanks to great organizations
like GLSEN, the It Gets Better Project, Point
Foundation, Teach For America, and The Trevor Project, we're all working together to bring help and hope to
all young people. Let's keep making it better.
Learn more about Wells Fargo's commitment to the LGBT community at wellsfargo.com/lgbt.
HAPPY
GLS N®
PRIDE
FROM
IT GETS"
BETTER
PROJECT
© 2013
WellsFargo
Bank,
N.A.Allrightsreserved.
Member
FDIC.
ECG-910541
WELLS
FARGO
AND
OUR COMMUNITY
ALLIANCES
TEACHFORAMERICA
DOWN-TO-EARTH
DIVA
Acclaimed soprano Patricia Racette is out, proud and hitting the high notes.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
R
Soul~baring Method Acting at the opera, the most artificial
of stage mediums? "My acting skills have come experientially,"
Racette tells me, admitting that she has never actually taken an
acting class."! need to lose myself in that character. If it's not a char~
acter that I can really sink my teeth into, I'm really uncomfortable:'
Following in the footsteps of her role model, opera great Renata
Scotto, who played Madame Butterfly to great acclaim ("She is
absolutely one of my very favorite stage animals"), Racette has become
one of America's greats herself, and shortly after she presented
Scotto with an Opera News Award, Scotto returned the favor.
If you've stopped reading because opera isn't your thing, too high~
brow, keep reading. Racette, who grew up in working~class Bedford,
N.H., is thoroughly frank about her profession, laughing uproari~
ously when I mention that I, too, might have passed this musical
genre over had it not been for the 'gateway drug," Puccini's romantic
and accessible tale of doomed love, La Boheme.
56
CURVE
"I consider myself a Puccini singer," says
Racette. ''I've done well over a hundred per~
formances of Mimi and Musetta. I under~
stand the concept of the gateway drug and I
can't quite get beyond it ... I love performing
Musetta, she's so much fun to portray. Mimi
can get a bit droopy;' she concedes. (Then
again, she is dying of consumption.) But Racette has also tackled
the pinnacle of Puccini, performing all three roles in the demand~
ing Il Trittico.
But let's put arias aside for a moment. Racette always wanted
to be a singer, but what she was originally trained to sing was jazz.
In a recent performance at 54 Below, an elegant subterranean
nightclub in New York City, Racette launched her CD Diva on
Detour. The soundtrack is from the American songbook-with
a short detour to France-and when Racette wrote the show she
not only chose a familiar set list, she made sure to include stories
that invoked her childhood, her mom, and a nod to her marriage
to mezzo~soprano Beth Clayton. On the night that I saw Racette,
she radiated warmth and happiness.
"That is really me," she says. "I am that way in my operatic pro~
fession, too. Sometimes you can almost sense the lofty, aloof,
larger~than~life personalities, and in that regard, opera has been
acette, who made no bones about coming out to the opera
world in 2002, is so committed to authenticity that for her
signature role, Cio-Cio San in Madama Butterfly, in which
the final scene requires her to commit suicide, she traveled
to Japan and studied the ritual of seppuku with Samurai.
JUNE 2013
very ill-fitting for me. I'm not that way. I'm practical, I'm down-toearth, I have a lot of temperament but I need humor to get through
life. I'm very user-friendly, but that in no way, in my opinion, takes
anything away from the potency of what I'm doing on stage:'
The title of the album, conceived by Racette and Clayton (who,
by the way, makes a foxy lead in Carmen, all six foot of her), suggests that the virtuoso is stepping down from her pedestal to
get into the groove. Songs include a medley of "I Got Rhythm"
and "Get Happy," "The Man That Got Away," (in the intro
Racette quips, "Boy, did he ever!"), and a formidable foray into
the catalogue of Edith Piaf, with "Padam Padam" and "La Vie
En Rose:' These are showstoppers that may just transcend all
other tributes to Piaf.
Displaying zero percent haughtiness, the diva is up close and
personal in this detour, but Racette doesn't entirely disavow the
term."Being able to stand onstage in front of 4,000 people and captivate them, and use those little flaps of skin in your throat called
your vocal chords to do so, and then infuse it with your energy and
your heart and soul, that is a divine experience and I think that's
the wonder of it:'
Racette has heart and soul to spare, but a good deal of this comes
from the happiness and security she has found with her wife,
Clayton. Racette, who came out officially in Opera News in 2002,
has sympathy for those who are afraid to leave the confines of the
closet, but says she had only one choice. "It's not worth living a life
feeling ashamed of something that I feel more proud of than anything else. It's something I celebrate. I don't want to behave as if
there is something wrong with it, because there isn't ... ! think some
people are really surprised when I sing, 'I got my gal, who can ask
for anything else.. .' But I think that's fun:'
Baffied by Jodie Foster's not-quite-coming-out speech, which
left Racette and Clayton open-mouthed, dare we say speechless,
she nevertheless reserves judgment. "Coming out is different when
you have a public profession;' she explains, and agrees that the
demographic of opera lovers consists mostly ofliberal-minded folk,
many of whom are gay themselves.
"Look, I'm not in Alabama teaching kindergarten. There's a big
difference. My first girlfriend ended up being a first-grade teacher,
we were in college together, and she was very scared and closeted ...
so I believe that people should do things that feel right to them.
I don't believe people should be pushed into this. But I have personally experienced someone who admired me, who liked me, but
who didn't know I was a lesbian, and when they found that out, I
could just watch the process going on in their head: Wait a minute.
I don't approve of that. Well, maybe it's OK ... It changes people's
minds. 'One of those' becomes personalized, and I think that's how
we make a difference:'
Both Racette and Clayton, who shared their coming-out story
on video with the It Gets Better Project, are at the top of their careers, but upon glancing at their resumes it seems that the rise really
began once they became an item. Is there power, even in the stuffy
world of opera, to be gained by finding love, and coming out about
it loud and proud?
"That's the reverse of the question I am most frequently asked,
which is: 'When you came out, did it affect your career in a negative way?' I don't know if, when I'm passed over for a role, one of
those reasons happens to be, 'Oh, she's a lesbian, I don't want her
to portray this character: We're not privy to that kind of information. I would hope that if I'm passed over for a role, it's for sound
artistic reasons.
"But to answer your question, I would say, being authentic and
true to who you are and how you're living informs your entire being,
and that inevitably permeates every aspect of your life, particularly
when your profession is to bare your heart and soul. It takes a certain
amount of emotional inventory to be a performer, so if you've hidden
and turned away a major part of who you are, that creates an impediment to what you're trying to say as an artist and how you're able
to say it:'
Racette is open to discussing her life with Beth Clayton. In
the end, she says, relationships are relationships, and when it
comes down to how they make theirs work, Racette uses the term
"wifing:'
'Tm not going to lie. When we first got together, there was a
certain amount of tension around having two performers in a
household and dealing with all that it entails-not just the practical logistics, but the emotional pressures, the ego, it's rather
intricate. But I'll never forget the time early on in our relation-
"BEING AUTHENTIC AND TRUE
TO WHO YOU ARE AND HOW
YOU'RE LIVING INFORMS YOUR
ENTIRE BEING, AND THAT
INEVITABLY PERMEATES EVERY
ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE ..."
ship, we were sitting there talking and Beth actually said, 'We're
a team. We have to approach this like we're a team: And we do.
So, 'wifing: There's nothing specific. It entails picking up all the
slack, so that the other person can prepare and do their very best
in rehearsals and during the performances. We take turns. But I
don't think I've folded a towel in 15 years now, because they just
get refolded;' she laughs.
This picture of domestic harmony would not be complete without
including their dog, Sappho. At the beginning, Racette says she told
Clayton, "'I want us to have something that we can love together. We
have this wonderful relationship ... ! want us to be able to bestow
that love on another creature: I really wanted to have a dog, perhaps
more than Beth did, and for the dog, Beth is absolutely primary.
But if I were a dog, I'd choose Beth too;' she laughs.
As for two-legged children, Racette and Clayton discussed it
thoroughly for over five years and "got very close ... But the performing arts, and music in particular, it's ruthless. It insists on being
number one and it never stops asking for more, and so I think it's a
no-brainer. When you have a child, the child takes priority. There's
no way something is not going to suffer in that process:'
Including the relationship.
"We're pretty blissful with each other. Why would you mess with
that?" she says. And I'm pretty blissful with Racette, and thankful
that she's making herself available to us, whether it's in the world's
great opera houses or at a cabaret near you. (patriciaracette.com) •
JUNE
2013
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57
■■ PRIDE
■■ PROFILES
TURNING HATE INTO LOVE
A lesbian author revisits the legacy of Matthew Shepard.
BY JOAN LIPKIN
eslea Newman shot to fame in 1989-her groundbreaking
children's book Heather Has Two Mommies, with its warm
and loving depiction of a child and her lesbian parents,
was celebrated in some circles and banned in others. In
the ensuing years, she has written or edited more than
60 books, including A Letter to Harvey Milk, The Boy Who Cried
Fabulous, The Reluctant Daughter, Nobody's Mother, and Write from
the Heart. Her recent book October Mourning: A Song for Matthew
Shepard (Candlewick Press) is a moving and evocative response to
Shepard's death, and was almost 14 years in the making.
L
You have a special connection to Matthew Shepard. Tell us how you two nearly crossed paths
right before he died?
In 1998, I had been asked months before Matthew
Shepard's murder to be the keynote speaker for Gay
Awareness Week at the University of Wyoming, which
was put together by the University of Wyoming's
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, T ransgendered Association. One
of the last things Matt did, on the Tuesday night of his
attack, was attend a meeting of the LGBT Association
to go over the plans for Gay Awareness Week.
That weekend, Jim Osborn, president of the
LGBT Association, called to tell me what had hap~
pened to his friend Matt. Jim asked if I wanted to
cancel my appearance. I said absolutely not, and arrived
on campus the day Matt died. I met some of his
friends and teachers. When I gave my talk, the stu~
dents from the LGBT Association were sitting in the
front row. There was one empty seat among them and
I kept looking at it, and thinking, "Matthew Shepard
should be sitting there:'
58
CURVE
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2013
Is that what inspired you to write
this collection?
On October 12, 2009, The Laramie
Project, Part II: The Epilogue was
performed in 150 cities, including
Northampton, Mass., which is where
I saw it. That night, I couldn't sleep.
The play brought everything back to
me in a flash, and I got out of bed
in the middle of the night and wrote
the poem "Wounded;' which is part
of the collection.
At this time, I was the poet lau~
reate of Northampton, and I created a project called
30 Poems in 30 Days. I organized 75 poets to write a
poem a day during the month of November and col~
lect monetary pledges per poem [it was a fundraiser
similar to a walkathon] to raise money for a literacy
organization. After I wrote the first poem, I knew my
30 poems would be an exploration of the aftermath
of this hate crime. And when the 30 days were over,
I kept writing.
You published it 14 years after his death. Why
now?
I think it took me over a decade to truly absorb how
horrific this hate crime was. I also think I had to grow
as a writer, an activist, and a human being in order to
have the confidence to take on this project. That's one
answer. The other answer is, I never know what I am
going to write when I sit down and pick up my penyes, I still write with a pen! And these are the poems
that came pouring out of me. Some books have longer
gestation periods than others. And this book was one
of them.
You use several different poetic forms in the
book. How did you select them?
I kept thinking about all the empty space surround~
ing this hate crime- Matt being alone on the prairie
for 18 hours, the huge space he left in the lives of the
people who knew him and loved him. In Japanese
aesthetics, which I have studied, there is a quality called
yohaku, which means the empty space in a poem or
a painting.
I wanted to capture this emptiness by keeping the
poems very sparse. Some of the forms I used are the vil~
lanelle and the pantoum, both of which use repetition,
as well as haiku, alphabet poem, acrostic and several
imitations. Many of the poems that were not written in
a specific form use formal poetic devices, such as rhyme
and repetition. Because the poems contain such intense
emotion, writing them in form was a way to contain
U.S. Department of
Health and Human Services
Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention
www.cdc.gov/tips
that emotion, and to make the process of diving into
this intense material more bearable.
You also tell the story from the point of view of
the fence Matt was tied to, the truck Matt was
kidnapped in, and the stars overhead. Can you
tell us more about those choices?
When I began to write the collection, I had to ask
myself, "What do I have to say that could possibly
add to the many accounts that have already been
written about Matt's murder?" The facts were known,
as much as we will ever know them. I kept thinking
how we will never really know the truth about what
happened at the fence that night. Matt can't tell us
and, in my opinion, his murderers can't be trusted to
tell the truth about what happened.
I kept wishing there had been witnesses, and
then I realized that there were witnesses: the fence,
the moon, the stars, a deer that kept Matt company. As a poet, I used my imagination to create
monologues from these points of view to learn something new about the story. The book is not the truth;
rather it is my truth, my take on this murder and its
aftermath.
"THE BOOK IS NOT THE TRUTH;
RATHER IT IS MY TRUTH, MY TAKE ON
THIS MURDER AND ITS AFTERMATH."
What has been the response to the book? Have
you heard from the Shepard family?
The book has gotten a tremendous response, both
from adults who remember vividly where they were,
what they were doing, and how they responded when
Matt was murdered, and from teenagers who were
only 2 or 3 years old, or not even born when these
events took place. It is a very moving experience for
me to give a reading from the book and look up and see
a row of high school students, both male and female,
wiping tears from their eyes.
I hope that Matt's story inspires people to work
harder to erase hate from our damaged world. I am
a member of the Matthew Shepard Foundation
Speakers Bureau and have their full support for the
work that I am doing. I recently spent some time with
Judy Shepard in Brooklyn, where we saw the Tectonic
Theater Project perform both parts of The Laramie
Project. I thanked Judy for allowing me to tell her son's
story, and she thanked me for telling it and told me she
had heard many good things about the book. She is an
amazing person and her dedication to human rights
for all inspires me on a daily basis.
October Mourning: A Song for Matthew Shepard has been recommended by many teachers
and children's library groups, and has won several
60
CURVE
JUNE
2013
young adult book awards. This is not a typical
choice of literature for children or young adults.
I don't think we give teens enough credit. They are
passionate about injustice and are hungry for true stories that will inspire them to make the world a better
place. I think teens deserve to know the truth about
the world they are inheriting. I have been very inspired
by their reactions to the book, and to the presentation
I give, He Continues to Make a Difference: The Story
of Matthew Shepard.
At the end of that presentation, I ask the audience
to make a commitment to do one specific thing to
make the world a safer place for the LGBT community.
So many teens have said things like, 'Tm not going to
use the word 'fag' anymore;' or "The next time I hear
someone say, 'That's so gay; I'm going to call them out
on it:' It takes a lot of courage to stand up in front of
your whole school and make a statement like that.
What are your current and upcoming projects?
I have a few children's books coming out in the
near future: Ketzel, the Cat Who Composed, which
is based on the true story of a cat whose solo composition for the piano won honorable mention in a
contest-really!-and
Here Is the World: A Year of
Jewish Holidays. Also I am thrilled that Heather Has
Two Mommies, which is currently out of print, is going
to be reissued with brand-new fabulous illustrations.
And currently, I am working on an adult poetry collection about my mother's recent death, with all the
poems being written in form.
Anything else you would like to share this Pride?
For any reader who is struggling, I'd like to say, "It
does get better!" I am proud to be happily and legally,
in Massachusetts, married to my beloved, and we are
about to celebrate our 25th anniversary!
And I fully expect that the federal government
will recognize our marriage in our lifetime. And also,
never underestimate your own power. One simple act
of kindness can save a life and make all the difference
in the world. •
0
" sfpride.org
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THANKS
TO OUR
SPONSORS:
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1g10-zo1i
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'america
Cclearchannel
MEDIA+ ENTERTAINMENT
JUNE29-30
~
•
joie de vivre~
PASSING THE TORCH
From anti-poaching to Pussy Riot, millennial feminists continue activism.
BY VICTORIA A. BROWNWORTH
''
ustainability" is a millennial buzzword. But can we apply
it to activism? Is there anything more important on the
sustainability scale than that? Middle-aged activists
like me do worry about whether the next generation is
taking up the activist torch, particularly when politics
and activism seem to rank so low on the list of millennial interests.
It only takes a handful of under~30s doing their
change~the~world magic, however, to make me feel
secure in the notion that activism lives on.
Shifra Goldenberg, 26, is someone who has the
magic. (Full disclosure: Goldenberg is my niece, but
this is the Pride issue, and writing about her activism
fills me with two different kinds of pride, feminist and
familial.) The work she is doing as she pursues a PhD
in behavioral ecology is helping to save an important
and very female portion of the planet.
A researcherwith Save the Elephants,
a nonprofit, research~basedorganiza~
tion in Samburu, Kenya, Goldenberg
is currently tracking what happens to
orphaned elephants in a population
endangered by poaching. She is one
of very few women working with wild
animal systems in Africa.
"With the rising demand for ivory over the last several
years, elephants across Africa have become victims of
poaching and illegalkilling,"she says.Some of the animals
she's come to know will be murdered-brutally.
Goldenberg's work concentrates on the effects that
poaching has on the social structure of young female
elephants, studying who survives and how, and if
they form new bonds after losing their closest family
members. Elephants, she explains, are "dependent on social bonds
for survival:'
Her research is complex, but begins with the fact that poaching
targets the older animals, leaving the younger ones to fend for
themselves. In this matriarchal structure, without older females to
guide the younger and with many of the families no longer having a
breeding female, poaching could hasten the extinction of the entire
population.
In February, Goldenberg reported for National Geographicon
the killing of a young male elephant, Philo. Goldenberg wrote, "His
face was hacked off in the typical fashion with the pool of blood not
yet soaked up by the earth. The gunshots went to his head on either
side and the blood from those shots was so fresh it glistened in the
morning sun:' She also witnessed the slow death of a female ele~
phant, Resilience, shot by poachers. Resilience had several children,
the youngest of which was unlikely to survive without its mother.
"Her severed tusks lay on the ground,
soon to be stowed. It's difficult to imagine
that those tusks were what this was all about.
They were so beautiful when she carried
them, and now they stand as ugly reminders
of a heartbreaking past and a bleak future;'
Goldenberg says.
According to the World Wildlife Fund,
there are only 500,000 African elephants left
in the world. Their population of 5 million
in the 1930s and '40s was decimated by tro~
phy hunting and the illegal ivory trade. Today,
poachers get minimal fines. The only thing
standing between extinction and survival
are researchers like Goldenberg, who do the
painstaking and painful tracking of these magnificent animals.
The millennials that make up Pussy Riot, Russia's anarchist femi~
nist punk~rock collective, are among the most infamous activists in
the world. In their fluorescent balaclavas they remain anonymous,
targeting repression and oppression under Russian president
Vladimir Putin's rule, including the persecution of women and
LGBT people. As one member notes, "We are pure protest, say~
ing to all, 'Superheroes in balaclavas and acid~bright tights seize
public space in Moscow: " Pussy Riot's spokeswoman, Nadezhda
Tolokonnikova, explains that the group "consists of anarchists,
T rotskyists, feminists and autonomists" and is "united by feminism,
anti~authoritarianism, and opposition to Putin:'
Patterning themselves on '80s punk rockers and Riot grrrls, Pussy
Riot states, "What we have in common is impudence, politically
loaded lyrics, the importance of feminist discourse, and a nonstan~
dard female image:•
Five of the Pussy Riot members gave a notorious anti~Putin
performance of the song "Punk Prayer: Mother of God, Chase
Putin Away" in front of the altar in Moscow's Cathedral of Christ
the Savior on February 21, 2012. The performance was halted by
church security, but the group posted it on the Internet. (All their
concerts are unscheduled and are videotaped for later posting.) The
five were charged with "hooliganism'' -a misdemeanor. But then
"religious hatred" was added to the charge. Two went into hiding
and three were arrested. In a show trial, Tolokonnikova, 23, Maria
Alyokhina, 24, and Yekaterina Samutsevich,
30, received two~year prison sentences in
September 2012. Samutsevich was released
on probation after several months because
her attorney argued that she didn't actually
perform on the altar.
Tolokonnikova and Samutsevich were sent
to a corrective labor prison in Mordovia, 250
miles from Moscow. Alyokhina was sent to
an even harsher prison in Perm Oblast, where
she has been treated so brutally by other prisoners that she asked to
be put in solitary confinement. All three women are deemed to be
political prisoners of conscience by Amnesty International.
"Pussy Riot's performances can either be called dissident art or
political action that engages art forms;' says Tolokonnikova. "Either
way, our performances are a kind of civic activity amidst the repres~
sions of a corporate political system that directs its power against
basic human rights and civil and political liberties:'
It is the group's belief that state~sanctioned events are ignored, so
they always perform in public spaces, such as a cathedral, without
permission. They attend rallies that are not sanctioned: In 2011,
Tolokonnikova and Samutsevich were arrested at the Moscow Gay
Pride rally.
Alyokhina, who also protests as a member of Greenpeace Russia,
refused to be silent at the trial, actively questioning witnesses. Her
eloquent closing statement defines Pussy Riot and the scope of
its activism.
"For me, this trial only has the status of a so~called trial. And
I am not afraid of you. I am not afraid of lies and fiction, of the
thinly disguised fraud in the sentence of this so~called court.
Because you can only take away my so~called freedom. And that
is the exact kind that exists now in Russia. But nobody can take
away my inner freedom:'
These young women are taking up the activist torch, protecting
the planet, protecting protest. Who will you pass the torch to?•
JUNE
2013
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63
Portraits of survivors;
photographer Dese'rae L.
Stage (right)
64
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JUNE
2013
FACES OF
SURVIVIAL
A photographer converts self-destruction into strength.
BY ELIZABETH NGUYEN
t takes courage to talk about your suicide attempt, but photographer
Dese'Rae L. Stage tells her story with hardly a hitch. The events are
dramatic, the emotions palpable. However, Stage's willingness to be
vulnerable-to be open with the details and honest with her feelingsis the most powerful aspect of her narrative. In this spirit of openness,
Stage photographed herself and posted her face, full name and
survivor status online. This was the beginning of what would become the
Live Through This: Life on the Other Side of a Suicide Attempt project.
I
Live ThroughThis is a portrait collection of survivors and their stories. The portraits are
shared online in an effort to start conversations, provide emotional support and encourage
survivors to "own their experiences publicly and proudly:'
"Suicide is something that affects all of us;' says Stage, who is embarking on a coast-tocoast tour to photograph more survivors. Her Kickstarter campaign raised over $22,000
to fund the trek. She intends to put"faces to the numbers;' humanizing an issue that is often
told in statistics or simply left in silence. Each portrait is a snapshot of human emotion and
experience. "You're sitting down with a person who is telling you about the darkest time in
their life;' says Stage. Her volunteers are often telling their story for the first time, and they
don't skip any details. They go through the build-up, their attempt, and describe where
they are now. They talk about whether they're glad that they lived, whether they're not glad,
or whether they might still die by suicide. Afterwards, Stage takes a photo.
"It's hard to hear and it's emotional, but I think it's necessary;' says Stage, who holds a
degree in psychology and is trained in crisis intervention. "A lot of the stories right now
are pretty positive ... ! think it's important to talk about the positive and negative when it
comes to being a suicide attempt survivor:'
Live Through This emerged from Stage's personal struggles with cutting, an abusive
lesbian relationship, and her own suicide attempt. She recalls a time when her partner
gave her a black eye: 'Tm 5 foot 7 inches so I'm fairly tall, but she was like 5 foot 2 inches
and she just punched me right in the face and knocked me out one day, and I had to go
to work like that. We worked together-we
did everything together. So, when I went
to work with a black eye, I remember somebody looking at me and making a joke about
rough sex. And she was standing next to me, and I was just so mortified:'
Stage is troubled by the silence surrounding lesbian partner violence. "I think it does
happen a lot more than anybody knows, and that because we live in a heteronormative
society, 'girl-on-girl violence; as Tina Fey would say, isn't really even acknowledged. We
don't even acknowledge it as real or as domestic abuse when it very much is:'
Since her Kickstarter campaign, Live Through This has received waves of support.
Over 200 survivors have contacted Stage in hopes of participating. She also gets emails
from family or friends seeking to include a lost loved one on her website. "I find myself
reading my emails and crying all the time. I've been making this joke, like, 'Man, I need
therapy at the end of every day: But it's a good thing:'
Stage admires the bravery of her volunteers.'Tve kind of fallen in love with all of these
people. They're not just telling me their story-they're letting me take a picture of them,
they're using their full names. There's no anonymity in this project at all, and that's huge:'
Stage is also proud of her own willingness to be open." I don't love talking about that time
in my life. It does hurt. It is painful. I know that there are people who judge you. But I
guess I'm just willing to put it out there so something good can happen, and that other
people know they're not alone:' (livethroughthis.org) •
■■ PRIDE
■■ PROFILES
LIFELINE TO YOUTH
Educating and empowering South Florida's LGBT.
BY LANIAYA ALESIA HOOFATT
t's not unusual for first-time visitors to Pridelines
Youth Services to get turned around. Tucked
away behind the local fire station, this outreach
center may be small but it is mighty, and everyone
is greeted with a smile. Pridelines' mission is to
offer support education, and empowerment to LGBT
and questioning youth-along with acceptance, love,
friendship and community. Miami-area teens consider it
their home, their lifeline, their family.
I
In the wake of Anita Bryant's Save Our Children
campaign, Pridelines began in 1982 as a peerled, adult-facilitated
youth group at MiamiDade College, guided and supported by Dr.
Marilyn Volker, Peter Meyer, and other caring
individuals.
Pridelines was incorporated in 1996, with Dale
Ayres as the executive director and for more than
28 years has provided a safe space, social support,
skill building, leadership development, and referrals to mental health, health care, and other support services for LGBT youth and their straight
allies. Offering the first community-based HIV
testing sites in Miami-Dade County and an annual LGBT youth prom, Pridelines has become an open door
to a secure future for teens unable to freely express themselves
at home.
The environment may be light and loose, but the program is
structured enough to give teens something to count on. During
the year, through its presence at various Pride events ( and their
after parties), Pridelines makes contact with more than 4,400
youths, who can hardly believe they have found a place where
they can finally be heard.
"It was overwhelming, I just started talking and they listened;'
says Qualisa Thomas, who has been with Pridelines from the age
of 14, and now, at 24, was a chair of the 2013 LGBTQ Youth
Prom Committee and works with a Pridelines partner agency,
the Alliance for GLBTQ Youth. "You are embraced so much, and
you slowly start hanging out [with others], outside of this:'
Just as Pridelines extends its lifeline to teens who grew up in
Florida, it also welcomes those who move to the state for college. Myra Benjamin, a native of Detroit, attends Miami-Dade
College and is in her second year at Pridelines. She is the online
marketing and social media associate and works with the HIV
Prevention Program.
"Pridelines is a very supportive place. I can be myself and be
as expressive as I want;' says Benjamin. She is now able to help
young people find their voice and stop feeling stifled, the way she
did in Detroit.
66
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2013
The glue that keeps
the place together is
Luigi Ferrer, the director of Programs and
Grant
Development.
Ferrer is an experienced
activist, a marine biologist, a nationally recognized HIV/ AIDS
activist, and a health
care/ nonprofit consultant. Before coming to Pridelines, Ferrer
was the executive directive of both the Body Positive Resource
Center and the Bisexual Foundation. His resume is long and impressive, but his only focus when he's on-site is Pridelines.
For several years, Ferrer has coordinated the Pridelines Annual
Prom. With themes like Alice and Wonderland and this year's
Fashion Is Fierce, it is a magical night for those who attend.
"The reason why it came about was because [Miami-Dade]
school board policy allows students to go with a same-sex partner,
but people are squeamish, and sometimes students are called a
disruption;' says Ferrer.
Even though schools are becoming more accepting, the teens
connected to Pridelines are still drawn to the idea of having their
own prom. "How nice it is to go and be with someone you want
to;' says Benjamin. Pridelines' prom is a place where they can
laugh, dance, and have that uniquely memorable night that most
high school students dream about.
More than just a youth hangout, Pridelines introduces teens
to a wealth of outdoor activities too, taking them to the beach
for the first time though they've lived less than 10 miles away, or
taking them camping, or helping them understand nature for the
first time. Pridelines takes youth beyond the neighborhood they
grew up in and shows them that dreaming, imagining a future,
and wanting more from life is something that is within reach.
(pridelines.org) •
TERI
POLO
AND
SHERRI
SAUM
TAKE
PRIDE
INPLAYING
FAMILY
INTHIS
YEAR'S
MOST
ANTICIPATED
LESBIAN
SERIES,
THE
FOSTERS.
the pilot left off, on the day after the
streetwise Callie (Maia Mitchell)
comes to the Fosters' home.
'Tm married to a woman and we
have two children;' saysJohnson (Hope
& Faith)."It was a great opportunity
to write about my life, my own experi~
ences, which the guys [Bredeweg and
Paige] captured in the pilot. I'm just
so grateful to have the opportunity
to come on board and to help them, creatively and as
a producer, with the show:'
Ironically, Polo, a straight woman with two chil~
dren, says she's more comfortable playing the part of
Stef than she's been in any other role. "I think this
is the closest to me I've ever played in my life, as a
mother, as someone who loves someone else and has
feelings for someone else;' she says.
When Saum arrived to read for the role of Lena,
she expected something different from what she'd
experienced portraying heterosexual characters. "I
thought, 'Ooh, this will be an edgy, kind of cool thing
to do: But really;' says Saum, "it's just absolutely the
same-so many of the obstacles, the same challenges,
the same kind of love. It was kind of a lovely little
surprise. I think if people give us the chance, they're
going to discover exactly the same thing:'
And that's one of the messages of the show, says
Johnson, who is best known as an actor on The Bold
and the Beautiful,but whose life is more in sync with
the moms on The Fosters.She and her real~life wife,
"Sherri definitely has better lips than he does," says
Teri Polo, comparing her new TV wife to Ben Stiller,
her former husband on film in Meet the Parents
and its sequels. "And she's far more beautiful than
he is." Even Stiller couldn't argue with that.
Sherri Saum and Teri Polo portray Lena and Stef
Foster, a married couple on The Fosters,the new ABC
Family drama from Jennifer Lopez's production com~
pany, Nuyorican Productions.
Lena (Saum) is a high school vice~principal, the
kind of educator whom girls and boys could definitely
get a schoolyard crush on. Stef (Polo) is a cop with
a teenage son, Brandon (David Lambert). Together,
Stef and Lena are raising Brandon and two children
they've adopted. In the pilot episode, Lena brings two
new children into the Foster household, "temporarily:'
The Fosters was created by Brad Bredeweg (Fly
Girls) and Peter Paige (Queer as Folk). Centering
around a lesbian couple and their multiracial fam~
ily (they have foster, adopted, and natural children),
the show might be venturing into new territory for
primetime TV, but blended families are not a foreign
concept to people in the gay community.
The lead actors, along with executive producer
Joanna Johnson, spoke to Curve during the first week
of shooting in April. The first episode picks up where
CURVE
JUNE
2013
Michelle, have two adopted children. "We are going
to tell stories about the marriage and the relationship
of these two women, not just from the gay perspective
but from the being~married~and~having~kids perspec~
tive;' says Johnson.
And that includes all the aspects of the relation~
ship, Johnson adds.
"We're doing a story I'm really excited about. You
know, it's hard for Lena and Stef to find time to be
intimate, which every parent deals with. They're, like,
having to schedule time to have sex and keep that con~
nection going. And, of course, there are the kids, and
life keeps getting in the way. Once you get stressed
out a little bit about a kid, you just don't feel like sex
tonight, you know? We deal with these problems. I
think everybody will relate to that:'
While Teri Polo has enjoyed feature film success
playing Ben Stiller's girlfriend and spouse, this role,
as a cop on The Fosters, is her dream job. She's never
played a lesbian before, but she believes that's irrel~
evant. "If you love someone, you kiss them and you
hold them and you touch them, and sometimes you
fight with them, and it doesn't matter if the person
across from you is male or female;' says Polo.
Saum agrees: 'Tm loving Stef Foster in a way I
would love anybody. It's no different to me. If some~
one out there has a criticism about how I portray a
lesbian, that would be kind of strange for me:'
Saum, who is biracial, is also thrilled that ABC
Family supports a show with multiracial characters.
'Tm pretty happy;' says Saum. "Growing up, for me,
you know, I had The Cosby Show, but I didn't see my~
self out there anywhere. It's one thing to be black, but
then to be biracial, you have even less chance of seeing
yourself portrayed out there anywhere:'
Saum, whose father is African American and her
mother Caucasian, grew up in Ohio, spending idyl~
lie weekends in the country with her cousins, but
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70
CURVE
JUNE
2013
knowing that she was different. "I definitely felt
like I was the entire ethnic population in my entire
school-my
brother and I, we were it;' says Saum.
"We definitely felt it here and there, but I feel like I
came out pretty much unscathed. I attribute that to
my mom, and much love, and the feeling she gave us.
I was pretty lucky:'
The kids in The Fosters are being brought up in an
atmosphere of love as well, and that's what Saum
believes matters the most. "I feel people are people,
and I've always been clear that love is love;' says
Saum, who was a psychology major before taking up
an acting and modeling career in New York. "I grew
up in a household where we were given so much self
esteem. I really grew up with a sense of self~worth.
And I can see the difference in children that didn't
have that advantage:'
At this writing, shooting the first season has just
begun, and Polo says the cast has already bonded.
"Sherri and I have done a couple scenes this week that
have been very serious when it comes to our relation~
ship;' says Polo. "It's as if we've known each other for
20 years. I just adore doing scenes with her:'
Polo admits that she's more comfortable in the role
of Saum's wife than she is as a cop, but she has an
"expert" eager to critique her performance. "My ex~
husband's sister is a lesbian ... her girlfriend is a San
Diego cop. So she loves to make fun of me;' Polo says
with a laugh."She says,'IfI see you wearing one single
wedge heel or I see you looking inauthentic, I'm going
to bust you:"
But seriously, Polo adds, "This is an extraordinarily
relevant show and it's a timely show and I'm incred~
ibly proud to be a part of something that means
something:'
Saum concurs: "I don't think I've ever been a part
of such a collaborative, supportive, creative team of
people. We're all living our dreams. Especially for the
creators of our show, for getting something off the
ground that's really close to their hearts and just a
dream come true all around:'
"For ABC Family to embrace this show and want
to tell this story is just amazing;' adds Johnson, who's
seen great advancements since her days as a soap star
in the '80s and '90s. "It's much more brave to make a
real~life drama. The Modern Family show is great and
I love it, but they're funny gay men, and they're kooky
and eccentric and ha~ha-as long as you can laugh at
the gays, then we're all comfortable.
''A drama (like this show] is about raising kids and
a family, and says, Look, it's exactly the same issues
you have in your family:'
Don't miss this landmark series when it premieres
this month.•
FO
MU
From gastronomy to Gay Pride, Madrid beckons lesbians. By Merryn Johns
hen it comes to gay Spain, Barcelona is for
boys and Madrid is for mujeres! Madrid is
Penelope Cruz on a plate-smart, sophisticated, sexy! Machismo may be alive and well,
but I didn't encounter it there. What I did
find was strong, fiery women, both straight
and gay. From the mysterious laneways of
Old Madrid, to tapas of infinite variety, to the very latest in art,
architecture and fashion, this city will not disappoint cultureloving lesbians. Madrid resolved the same-sex marriage debate
back in 2005 and you'll be hard-pressed to find a local who doesn't
believe that the freedom to love whomever you choose is an inalienable human right-just like good food, fine wine and public art.
Where to stay
There are two types of Madrid, old and new, and a link between the
two was forged in 1912 when the Westin Palace Hotel was established as an international meeting point for luxury travelers. This
lovely edifice has seen some colorful guests: royalty, financiers,
actors, artists, administrators, authors and secret agents (Mata
Hari stayed here in 1916). All the suites feel quite regal, but I was
lucky enough to tour the Presidential Suite, which had recently
accommodated Hillary Clinton and Naomi Watts (not together,
but isn't it nice to picture:'). Within easy access of transportation,
galleries and museums, the Westin offers a touch of opulence and
enchantment-and
it's centrally located. (westin.com/Madrid)
The Sheraton Madrid Mirasierra is a little farther out of town,
with views of the hills surrounding the city. This chic modern hotel
boasts self-catering apartment-size suites, and a large unisex spa
offers numerous types of indoor and outdoor hydrotherapy where
72
CURVE
JUNE
2013
you could spend an entire day. (sheratonmadridmirasierra.com)
Whereto eat
The simple and pleasingly accurate answer is: anywhere and everywhere. But I can tell you where I ate! La Rotonda at the Westin
Palace Hotel offers the best breakfast buffet in town, where cava
(Spain's answer to champagne) and churros are a part of the
day's first meal. But it's worth going light on breakfast if you're
planning a tapas lunch. These eating adventures can consist of
numerous courses, served with wine or beer, and each version is
rich and revelatory.
Vadebaco (vadebaco.com) serves contemporary cuisine, and
here you can sample what's popular now and wash it down with
your choice of 40 wines offered by the glass, 350 by the bottle. La
Kitchen (lakitchen.es) and Cien Llaves (cienllaves.com) offer elegant and upmarket fusion dining experiences (locals dearly believe in
spending both money and time on dining out). But if you're looking
for a cheap counter lunch that still delivers lip-smacking Madrid,
try a bocatade calamare(a fried squid sandwich) and wash it down
with a cold San Miguel.
For a memorable and romantic tapas dinner, La Gastrocroqueteria
de Chema (gastrocroqueteria.com) nicely combines tradition with
innovation. Intimate and rustic, this restaurant served my favorite
versions of the tapas staples croquetas and turr6n de foie. Mercado
de la Reina (mercadodelareina.es) is a hip and happening modern
place providing the freshest high-quality protein, which you'll need
to fuel a night on the town. But if you want to eat somewhere gay,
you cannot go past ParisTokyo with its disco vibe downstairs and
upscale dining upstairs. The light and tasty Asian fusion menu is as
delectable as the high-fashion lesbian wall art (paristokyo.es).
What to see and do
You must wander through Old Madrid and conclude your journey
at San Miguel Market, built in 1916 as a fish market and now a
newly renovated center for purveyors of fine foods and wine. Open
until 2 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, this living monument to
gastronomy gives you some idea of just how important food is to
Madrileiios. From oysters to olives to jam6n to jewel~like postres,
expect only the freshest and most flavorful morsels.
Jorge Juan Street is the place for shopaholics with the urge to
burn through some euros and come home with beautiful Spanish
fashion items. Yes, it's pricey compared to America's designer outlet
malls, but there are deals to be had and keepsakes worth the outlay,
if you believe in souvenirs that do more than gather dust.
Life without art is no life at all-that's clearly a belief held by
the residents of Madrid, because culture is everywhere you turn.
Get lost at the Reina Sofia Museum, Madrid's answer to the
Centre Pompidou in Paris; or the CaixaForum, Madrid's answer
to MoMA. The Fundaci6n Mapfre has top~notch exhibits, from
the dazzling Jean Paul Gaultier retrospective to Impressionists
and Post~ Impressionists, which locals queue around the block
to see.
And Madrid has lovely city blocks. Stroll around the city and
take in the wonders of Spanish urban planning. Paseo del Prado
is a historic and leafy boulevard evoking the Champs Elysees, and
CentroCentro is a fascinating cultural drop~in center that announces
the importance of culture in everyday life. And with so much cul~
tivation and queerness on offer it's no wonder Madrid won the bid
for World Pride 2017 (esmadrid.com). •
II
Montreal. Even the dodgy downtown area
I walked through on the way to the main drag
showed me its true colors as I joined a motley crew of hookers, hipsters, students and the
homeless, allbarreling around the semi-European
streets together. I bought a pack of cigarettes to
give away, instead of money, and was repaid in
brief and grateful conversations with toothless Francophones who assumed that I was a
Francophone too.
In my happy-go-lucky state I stumbled across
a Heritage-listed building completely given over
to an art exhibition by street artists. The city
had let them have it for a season to show off the
local talent. Hey there, Montreal.
The highlight of Day Two was a tour of
Montreal by Ruby Roy. She's very easy to find
online and knows absolutely everything about
Hip and happening Montreal comes alive for Pride.
the city. Should you venture to Montreal, I
By Jess McAvoy
strongly suggest you get in touch with Ruby.
She will answer every single question with the
perfect balance of information and grace.
ant to take a trip to Montreal for
It was a day of fantastic learning experiences. Have you ever
Pride?" asked my editor.
had a ground cherry? A bagel from Fairmont's? Maple taffy? The
I'd never actively participated in
Montreal markets were amazing.
a Pride before, coming from Perth,
Australia, one of the world's most
The official girls' party that night was very well put together. DJ
Mary Hell and DJMariana Morales were absolutely solid, and
isolated cities, and in general disliking
their tunes would have made me dance, ifl weren't trying extra hard
crowds. But this would be a VIP opporto look cool.
tunity at one of North America's most
I left to meet up with my new friend Jeff. We wandered into
cosmopolitan Prides, complete with backstage passes to help me
a huge club full of gay boys, where we were let in as VIPs, either
avoid the crowds. It would also be an opportunity to speak a decidbefore or after too many rounds of white wine and tequila shots.
edly different flavor of French, and to discover Canada. My answer
Don't ask. It's Pride.
was,"Um, yes!"
The next morning, I sat staring at my shadow for half an hour
Straight off the plane I was met by a jolly old man dressed in
as people bustled around me under the canopy of pink balls that
a vest, looking not unlike the Wizard of Oz (Frank Morgan, not
James Franco), and holding a sign reading "Mr. Jess McAvoy:' provides the ceiling for the Gay Village during Pride.
In the vacant lot behind me, two dozen women were laying out
Chatting in his delightful Quebecois accent, he took me by limo
to the doorstep of the gorgeous, modern and tasteful Hotel Zero L an array of handmade "holes on sticks;' various representations of
The women at the reception desk impressed me by not only having
glorious vaginas, custom-made for the First Official Montreal Dyke
a sense of humor but also letting me practice my French. Press
March, in which I was about to take part.
packet in tow-handed
over as if to a secret agent-I took the
To be honest with you, it was an intimidating start the dayhangover aside-having
to choose the vagina that would best
elevator to my very clean, very white, very lovely room.
74
CURVE
JUNE
2013
represent me as I walked through the village shouting pro~lesbian
chants and slogans in French. It was a hell of a lot of fun once I got
over mysel£ chose a big pink ejaculating vagina, and marched very,
very proudly.
That night was the signature show, C'est la Fete, with loads of
dancing, singing and performances-though
I was busy hanging
out with all the new friends I met in the VIP section. That's the
thing. You put a bunch of like~minded people in a cage at a big
queer party with free booze and they will all become very fast
friends. Well, I will anyway.
Sunday. Bloody Sunday.
Jeff and I found each other first thing, to combat a rather con~
fusing hangover. You know the kind-"Whaaaaaaa
happened?"
We stumbled into the world to pick up some Coronas and hearty,
greasy poutine for breakfast, to consume over delicious conversa~
tion on the hotel patio. We then dribbled downstairs to the massive
Pride Parade that was slowly assembling on the street below.
Pride. It's the demonstration of extremes. It's making the
choice to be visibly open about our struggles and commonalities.
Everyone is unique, and these parties celebrate that uniqueness
and do it loudly. Like choosing a vagina, it's intimidating some~
times. But each time I allow myself to participate, and to acknowl~
edge that I am part of this community, I feel a little bit closer to
accepting myself.
Montreal and I have fallen in love. It's tempting to move here,
but I'm glad I haven't. I would never need or want to go any~
where else.•
MEET
MONTREArs
QUEER
OF
THE
YEAR
Cuban-Mexican bombshell
Ivette Gonzalez-Ale of Brooklyn, N.Y.,won Queer of the
Year 2012 after surviving three
weeks of caught-on-tape
competition with four other
competitors. Ivette is the first
female to receive the honor,
after winning hearts and votes
throughout the summer competition. Part of her $5,000
winnings will go toward her
genderqueer fashion
company, Marimacho,
and she plans to return to
Montreal for a photo shoot,
some sizzling summer events,
and fun in the fall, including
the Black & Blue Festival and
image+nation, the 24th Annual
Montreal International LGBT
Film Festival.
of bare-skinned summer diversions.
Artistic and cultural activities including
exhibitions, concerts, street art, cuisine
and public celebrations will be synced with
EuroPride festivities.
After the festivities, get back to nature in
the national park and waterways along the
coastline. Or explore the famous Aix-enProvence, Aries, Avignon, Montpellier and
Saint-Tropez and the French Riviera.
Over 60 towns in Provence are connected via train, shuttle bus or rental car
from the airport.
The West Mediterranean is only a cruise
away: Barcelona, Valencia, Malaga, Roma,
Marseille, most famous for being the second-largest city in France after Paris, and
the gateway to the South of France, and
basking in its 300 days of Mediterranean
sunshine per year, is this year's EuroPride
location. This summer, from July 10-20,
the city will adorn itself in rainbow colors
and 200 local establishments will partner
with EuroPride Marseille to make rainbow
revelers feel extra welcome. Provence
for Pride? We say "oui!" Here's what's on
the menu:
Ten days of queer pride sees the cultural
and military center known as the Friehe de
la Belle de Mai-used for expositions, military stands, conferences, forums, cinema
and theater-become the hub of all the
festivities.
Docks des Suds is the location for
EuroPride Club and its 11parties, including
Europe's biggest, clubeuropride.com.
For the first time in EuroPride history there
will be a beach completely dedicated to the
festival with aquatic games and a whole lot
Pisa. Marseille is the leading French port
with more than 1 million cruise passengers
expected in 2013 and a choice of cruise
companies and departure days from May.
This summer, XL Airways France operates a new direct flight between JFK and
Marseille-Provence Airport twice weekly.
So hey, East Coast queer girls, Provence,
the sun-soaked, lavender-scented destination of your dreams has never been closer,
and neither has its women. For more
information go to europride2013.com,
flyprovence.com or marseille-airport.com.
- Merryn Johns
JUNE
2013
CURVE
75
MY SUMMERIN
PROVINCETOWN
I arrived in mid~May, during
Single Women's Weekend, and
decided it was a good time to head
out, alone, and start to meet peo~
ple. Sadly, there is no lesbian bar
in Provincetown, but the PiedBar
often holds women's theme nights
and dances. I'd been told that in
this town everyone knows everyone,
and I found it to be laughably true
that night. The first person whom
I introduced myself to came from
my hometown, was best friends
with the only person I knew in
Provincetown, and worked for the
woman who produced most of the
lesbian events in town. A very good
Vacationing in the gayest place on earth.
thing about small~town life is that once you meet one person, you're
By Kathy Beige
introduced around. My first night out on the town was a success: I'd
started making connections.
"There are so many miracles that happen here every day;' says
arrived in Provincetown around the same time as Barney,
Molnar, the creator of Provincetown for Women. Provincetown is
the Cape Cod bear. Barney was a refugee from western
Massachusetts and a big media star for a few months last sum~ not Utopia, but there is something freeing about the place: There's
mer. He was seen, as one woman described it, loping along
the natural beauty of Cape Cod, but also the beauty of the commu~
nity. "It's one of the only places you can walk anywhere holding your
like a happy puppy, stopping to rub his back against a tree.
People claimed it was the first time a bear had ever been seen
girlfriend's hand and not be afraid. And you don't need a certain
body type to be accepted here;' Molnar adds.
on the cape, and suggested he came in search of somethingWhat she says was true: I experienced a few miracles. Just some
perhaps a mate.
of the highlights of my summer were skinny dipping under a blaz~
I felt a kinship with that bear. I came out to this tiny town on
the tip of Massachusetts from my home in the Pacific Northwest
ing sunset with a rowdy group of women; seeing two humpback
whales breach simultaneously on a whale watch; and giving author
searching for something, too. I wasn't quite sure what: That's the
way it is when you're searching, I guess.
Armistead Maupin a copy of Queer, my book for teens, which he
I knew that I needed a change of scenery, to step outside my life later told me he was enjoying. I loved taking bike trails through the
dunes and beaches, where I would clear my head and get my heart
and get a new perspective. Provincetown seemed like a good place
rate up. I saw a red fox run across the path, heard a coyote howl~
to do that: It's an LGBT mecca, with the highest percentage of
same~sex~couple households in the United States. Domestic bliss, ing, watched a box turtle inch its way across a sandy hill, and swam
in the warm Atlantic Ocean almost every day in July. I celebrated
it seems, is never out of season, but lots of queers come just for the
my birthday at Essentials, the convenience store
summer, seeking work, inspiration, love or just a
PROVINCETOWN
2013 that's like a town square. Though it's a tiny store,
good time.
the owner, Laura Lenza, hosts creative contests
I'd lined up a sweet job working for the comic
MAY
17-19
and even dance parties.
Kate Clinton, and found a reasonably affordable
Single Women's Weekend
Summer seemed to fly by in a blur of tea
room, which was hard. My landlady, who had
womeninnkeepers.com
dances, drag queens' snarky remarks, salty
arrived 33 years ago and never left, told me,"Your
24-27
Memorial Day Weekend,
swims and fried clams. As October came, the
first summer is always your best:' In the hours I
aka Baby Dyke Weekend,
days
grew shorter and the nights got colder
wasn't working, I planned to explore the cape by
provincetownforwomen.com
bike (I didn't bring a car) and spend time writing
and I thought of Barney and felt the need to
May 30-June 2
Women of Color & Friends Weekend
hibernate. The beaches were windswept and
in the beautiful Provincetown Public Library.
womenofcolorweekend.com
The summer in Provincetown follows a cal~
deserted. A cold sideways rain made my bike
JULY
commute miserable, and even the once~vibrant
endar of lesbian theme weeks. There's Single
23-27
Women's Weekend, Women of Color and Friends
Commercial Street was dark and chilly. It was
Girl Splash
time to head home.
Weekend, Baby Dyke Weekend, Carnival Week,
girl-splash.com
Family Week, Girl Splash, and Women's Week,
Did Barney ever find what he was looking
AUGUST
for? Sadly, he was trapped mid~summer outside
which the comic Mimi Gonzalez calls "the pot
3-10
Family Week
of Wellfleet and sent back to the woods of west~
of gold at the end of the dirty rainbow:' There's
familyequality.org
em Mass. He kept searching, though, because he
something in Provincetown for almost anyone,
OCTOBER
whether you like hiking, birding, sailing, whale
took off again and showed up weeks later in the
14-20
suburbs of Boston. For my part, I found every~
watching, sunbathing, arts and culture, music or
Annual Women's Week
a lively club scene.
thing I'd gone to Provincetown for, and more. •
womeninnkeepers.com
76
CURVE
JUNE 2013
V •ISi·t. •• Sweden
www.visitsweden.com
~
Stockholm
The Capitalof Scandinavia
Im
Scandinavian
Airlines
Summer Sippers
A seasonal selection perfect for parties and picnics.
BY GEORGIA KROKUS
k-
... .C/
),:.,
GA
coG~E
Chill Out
Viva l'Egalite
Head to the beach, pool or park
with a Chill It Bag on the hottest
summer day and keep your favorite
beverage cool. Fun and functional,
just freeze the bag and pop in your
wine, spirits, sodas, beers, even your
olive oil, to keep them cool and fresh
until they're ready to be enjoyed.
($10 and up, amazon.com)
The first nationally-distributed
bubbly created in support of LGBT
equality pops its cork! Egalite, an
impressive Cremant from Burgundy,
France, the next best thing to
Champagne, features notes of
peach and honey blossom, with
a clean, dry finish. Perfect as a
celebratory toast or aperitif.
($24, egalitewines.com)
Love liquid
Out of South Africa comes Lovoka, a
new liqueur made from triple-distilled
vodka. Liquid gold in color and tasting
of buttery caramel, rich toffee and
pure vanilla this sexy tipple will get
you revved up for your midsummer
night's eve. Do shots (the aluminum
bottle makes it extra easy to chill) or
create your own seductive cocktail.
($28, luvlovoka.com)
Proud As a Peacock
Can't get to Marseille for EuroPride?
You can still enjoy the South of
France in a bottle. Muscat grapes
infused with orange blossom is the
flavor of summer, and Pavan, named
after the mating dance of the peacock,
is the perfect base for citrusy, thirstquenching cocktails to be enjoyed
poolside or post-Pride parade.
($30, pavan-liqueur.com)
White Light
As temperatures rise and you head
outdoors for fun in the sun, pair your
picnic spread with a chilled bottle
of Tariquet Classic by Demaine du
Tariquet. This light, pocket-friendly,
refreshing white wine is low in
alcohol (11percent) and calories, and
boasts delicate floral and citrus
notes with a dry, clean finish. Perfect
pairing: seafood salad or chicken
Caesar. ($9, tariquet.com)
Get Hooked
Crack open 12 ounces of carbonated
Pride with a gay-friendly pint from
Red Hook IPA. Our pick for summer
sipping is their ESB (Extra Special
Bitter) because, as the good people
at Red Hook say, "You can't spell
'lesbian' without ESB."This tasty,
crowd-pleasing amber brew combines caramel malt sweetness and
citrusy hops. ($2, redhook.com) •
MARKtTP
GotKids?WantKids?
Subscribe to Gay Parent magazine,
a leader in gay parenting resources.
Visit our website
www.gayparentmag.com
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JUNE
2013
CURVE
79
TLOOKtSTARS
Summer Lovin'
June brings flirtatious and fickle Gemini energy.
BY CHARLENE LICHTENSTEIN
Aries (March 21-April 20)
GEMINI %
%
%
Lesbian Twins are %
%
the "earn and burn" %
types when it comes %
to finances. She is %
%
far more interested %
in the excitement of %
%
money and what it %
can buy rather than its %
long-term power and %
%
ease. She is also rather %
generous with her %
%
possessions. For these %
reasons she is apt to %
%
squander her payload %
as fast as she can %
grab it Save for a rainy %
%
day? Forgetaboutit %
sisterl These generous %
%
sisters a re more than %
willing to pick up the %
tab for the party, but %
%
they are also the ones %
who "inadvertently" %
%
leave their wallets %
at home Maybe it's %
because they are so %
%
adamant about being %
popular that they have %
%
a hard time saying no. %
%
%
Charlene
Lichtenstein
istheauthor%
%
of HerScopes:
A Guide
to Astrology%
forLesbians
(Simon
& Schuster)-%
%
tinyurl.
com/HerScopes.
%
Nowavailable
asanebook.%:
Aries gals are so energized by
their ideas that they are happy
to share them with any and all.
Who knows where your seeds
of genius will land and take
root? But when it comes to
home issues, less talk and more
action is required now. Show
her that you are more than a
gush of hot air.
(May 22-June 21)
80
CURVE
JUNE
2013
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
There is money to be made
this June by focusing your
quick mind on your conservative financial aptitude. So stop
hoarding your dough and make
it work for you. Money is honey
and you will have a gaggle of
admirers as your market spread
widens. Of course there may
be some ladies who will love
you through thick and thin, too.
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
Not only are you the center
of attention this June, you are
also able to use your charisma
to push your influence out into
many new and powerful circles.
The women who you meet now
can help you amass more prestige and participants for any
long-term personal project you
may have.
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
Secrets abound and swirl
around you this June. You
may be surprised at what you
discover. So be especially
perceptive and be sure to note
any changes-even seemingly
minor ones-in your personal
landscape. The fact is that
there is a great opportunity for
you just waiting to be plucked
and plumbed.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Gal pals find ways to lead you
off track and into mindless but
fun activities this June. Go with
the flow, Lioness, and discover
how flexible (and relaxed) you
can be when you are not the
leader of the pack. One thing
can lead to another and before
you know it, a mystery woman
makes herself known to you.
How well you get to know her is
entirely up to you.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Career prospects are looking
up and why not? You have been
working hard polishing your
corporate image to a rosy glow.
Now make things happen professionally. Whether that means
a promotion, raise or new job
depends on what you really
want from all of this effort.
Girlfriends in high places can
make your decision a bit easier.
Maybe you will work under one
of them.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
They love you at your job but
is the feeling reciprocated?
Aren't you just a bit bored and
overworked? Your mind has
been wandering recently and
you are in need of some fresh
scenery and stimuli. June is a
good time for an early summer
fling whether it is far afield or
something (or someone) different around the corner. Pique
your imagination and see who
picks you.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Relationships heat up and
anything good (or bad) is
amplified. That means that
if you can accentuate the
positive, you two can become
closer. But if you harp on the
negatives, you may find that a
brief break is the solution. For
those Sagittarians on the hoof,
there are some spicy dishes
being served at a buzz-worthy
club near you.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
It is never too late to get
ready for swimsuit season.
But that means that you have
to review your health, diet
and exercise regimes to see
what you need to do. Toning
not only does wonders for
you physically, it will also
recharge your overall attitude
and give you that extra oomph
to meet, greet and sweep the
ladies off their feet.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
Let the good times roll this
June. Your capacity for fun
and frolic grows with your
ability to schmooze your way
into any festive event. And
you can add a lot to the party
with your creative flourishes.
Use the month to fill in your
calendar for a string of
summer romances.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
Just as you think things are in
place and your life is neatly
segmented, an exotic enchantress sweeps you off your feet
and leads you on an adventure-if you take the bait. This
scenario has all the elements:
passion, foreign intrigue, power
and desire. If the risk seems
too high, at least find ways of
getting out of your moldy routine even if it is just going to a
foreign chick flick.
Plan some memorable homebased get-togethers this June
and see who stops by to get
together. You will find that
there is more fun to be had in
familiar homey spaces where
you can run "wilde." And if you
are looking for a change of
environment, try changing it
from the inside out by redecorating or remodeling. Even
better, how about decorating
out models?
,.
.
'
.
..
~
....
J
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1
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This hilarious lesbian road movie
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~BEST
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PLACES TO WORK
2013 for LGBT Equality
JUNE
2013
FEATURES
LATINA LAUGH TRACK
Queer Queen of Qomedy alum Mimi
Gonzalez on the new butch-femme,
playing in P-town and what keeps
her laughing. By Kathy Beige
MOM PLUS: TRACY RYERSON
Acting, modeling, producing,
writing and being a mom ...is
there anything she can't do?
By Jenny Block
STRAIGHT TO GAY CONVERSION
Got a straight girl crush? Science
says she may cross over.
By Emma Tehrenfeld
PRIDE PIONEER: EDITH WINDSOR
Our tribute to the octogenarian
who is pushing the gay marriage
debate toward victory.
By Victoria A. Brownworth
DAZZLING DIVA: PATRICIA RACETTE
The award-winning opera star on
being out, proud and taking a
detour. By Merryn Johns
SHUTTER BUG: DESE'RAE L. STAGE
The lesbian portrait photographer
shakes off the stigma of suicide
with portraits of survivors.
By Elizabeth Nguyen
MADRID IS FOR MUJERES
From delectable cuisine, to its
thriving queer nightlife, Madrid
beckons lesbians.
By Merryn Johns
COVER PHOTO BY ANDREW ECCLES
JUNE
2013
CURVE
1
JUNE
2013
IN EVERYISSUE
6
EDITOR'S NOTE
8
FEEDBACK
10
CURVETTES
12
THE GAYDAR
28
SCENE
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////,
TRENDS
REVIEWS
13 THIS IS WHAT A
LESBIAN LOOKS LIKE
29
Business student Kryzia
Salgado.
14
PRIDE GIFT GUIDE
Let your Pride flag fly with
multi-color gear and goods.
16
BEAUTY
Summer glam is all about
protection and pops of color.
18
LESBOFILE
VIEWS
OUT IN FRONT Meet the
women changing the world
for LGBT folks.
20
20 IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT ... News from across the
MUSIC
Canadian Sarah Smith left the
military for a full time music
career. By Cheryl Mazak
31
FILM
Andrea Wing is changing the
way we watch movies and
bringing lesbian cinema to
women around the globe.
By Elizabeth Estochen
33
BOOKS
Queer Latina Cristy C. Road
takes on traditional values
with her punk aesthetic.
By Tina Vasquez
36
TECH
The skinny on the sexy new,
ultra-thin Acer laptop.
By Randy Nelson
country.
21
POLITICS
The Violence Against Women
Act passed-but will it actually
make a difference, for us?
By Victoria A. Brownworth
24
LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Our butch and femme lesbian
advice gurus solve your relationship problems.
2
CURVE
JUNE
2013
STYLE
42
QUEER COUTURE
The New York City fashion
scene gets a lift with a lesbian
designer's radical creations.
By Elizabeth Estochen
46
SUITS US
The trend in male tailoring
for women is giving rise to
numerous lesbian-owned
fashion companies.
By Celeste Lecompte
Curve's online selection of must-do, must-try, must-have extras.
HOT LICKS: HANNAH THOMAS
If you don't know Hannah Thomas, you will soon,
because this newly-out rocking blues singer has been
wowing critics and teaming up with Grammy-winning
artists. The rising star talks about working with lesbian
icon Amy Ray, the inspiration behind her new album,
and how coming out has affected her fans (spoiler
alert: it's earned her a whole lot of new ones!).
PRIDE GUIDE
GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION
Are you a femme who loves other
femmes but does't feel represented
in mainstream culture, or that
feels rejected by queer support
groups or even LGBT media?
Meet Jodi Savitz, the young
femme lesbian-identified filmmaker who is challenging queer
stereotypes and bringing the
untold stories of femmes to the
big screen. Learn how to become
a part of her project to make sure
all our stories are told.
What are the
country's biggest,
hottest, queerest
Pride events and
parties for women?
At curvemag.com
you'll find plenty of
information to help
you celebrate Pride
2013 in a way you'll
never forget. Visit
family and friends,
march or party with
pride, and revel in
all of the rainbow
achievements of the
past year.
A
NEW
ABC
FAMILY
ORIGINAL
How do you define family?
Share your pride.
From Executive Producer Jennifer Lopez
SERIES
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
Proud
Indeed
JUNE 2013
»
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME
23 NUMBER
5
PUBLISHERSilke Bader
FOUNDINGPUBLISHERFrances Stevens
EDITORIAL
ast year, in my Editor's Letter, I
wrote about the fragility of the rain~
bow flag as a symbol of activism
and the increasing fragmentation of
LGBT activist groups. In the face
of a right~wing assault in an election year,
my concerns seemed valid.
But a lot can happen-and
has-in a
year, and I feel thrilled and proud to have
been part of it. Just look at what weve
achieved since last summer:
Three states, Maine, Maryland and
Washington, legalized same~sex marriage
by popular vote; civil unions are now recog~
nized in Delaware, Hawaii and Colorado.
The Office of Fair Housing and Equal Opportunity issued regulations to
ensure that housing programs are open to all eligible persons, regardless of
sexual preference or gender identity.
Two American school districts celebrated LGBT History Month for the
first time-Broward County, Fla., and Los Angeles.
Same~sex marriages were held at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point
for Lieutenant Ellen Schick and her partner, Shannon Simpson, and veteran
Brenda Sue Fulton and her partner, Penelope Dara Gnesin.
Berkeley, Calif., declared Sept. 23 Bisexual Pride and Bi Visibility Day; San
Francisco voted to become the first U.S. city to cover the cost of sex reassign~
ment surgery for uninsured transgender residents.
Tammy Baldwin (D~Wisc.) became the first openly gay or lesbian person
to be elected to the U.S. Senate; Kyrsten Sinema (D~Ariz.) became the first
openly bisexual person elected to the U.S. Congress. Outgoing Secretary of
State Hillary Clinton continued to promote gay rights globally.
LPAC, the first lesbian super PAC, was created to represent the interests of
lesbians in the United States and to campaign on LGBT and women's rights,
while the Violence Against Women Act was renewed and extended to protect
same~sex couples.
Edie Windsor, the 83~year~old plaintiff in United States v. Windsor, went
gunning for DOMA and single~handedly created a watershed moment in gay
rights history.
That's a lot to be proud of-especially when Russia drafted anti~gay legisla~
tion and half a million Parisians took to the streets to protest gay marriage, at
around the same time that President Obama gave us a shout~out of support in
his inauguration speech.
I'm proud that the United States has reminded the world of what it's good
at: liberty and justice for all. Among the rainbow flags this Pride, I'd like to see
the star~spangled banner in the colors of the spectrum.
L
~·
MER~
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
merryn@curvemag.com
6
CURVE
JUNE
2013
EDITORIN CHIEF Merryn Johns
MANAGINGEDITOR Rachel Shatto
BOOKREVIEWEDITOR Rachel Pepper
COPYEDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Jillian Eugenios, Sheryl Kay, Jess McAvoy,
Stephanie Schroeder
EDITORIAL
ASSISTANTSElizabeth Estochen, Elizabeth Nguyen
PROOFREADER
Elizabeth Harper
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONSJeannie Sotheran
ADVERTISING
CURVE'SMEDIAKIT ourmediakit,com
NATIONALSALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
BUSINESSDEVELOPMENT
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ART/PRODUCTION
ARTDIRECTORStefanie Liang
PRODUCTIONARTIST Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Jenny Block, Adam L.
Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Traci
Dinwiddie, Maria De La 0, Jill Goldstein, Lisa Gunther,
Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall, Kim Hoffman, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Jess
McAvoy, Ariel Messman-Rucker, Emelina Minero, Laurie
K. Schenden, Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson,
Allison Steinberg, Stella & Lucy, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull,
Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce, Tina Vasquez, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Alex Styles, Meagan Cignoli,
JD Disalvatore, Sophia Hantzes, Janet Mayer, Syd London,
Cheryl Mazak, Maggie Parker, Leslie Van Stelten
CONTACT INFO
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Community In Transition
Beautiful Bodies
The Body Issue was the best issue
ever [Vol. 23#4] ! The topics are
right on the money! Keep up the
great work! -Sin Le Roux, San
Jose, Calif.
Meaningful May
Just finished reading the May
issue, it was great! So many of
the topics were near and dear to
my heart-how do you do that?
I have to say, the article "Dani
Girl;' and how she was motivated
to work out, by her desire, to be
able to care for her paraplegic
girlfriend was especially touching.
-Elizabeth Hall, Livonia, Mich.
I want to thank Curve for
publishing, "Do You Take this
Trans Man" [Vol. 23#3]. I
found it uplifting to see a lesbian
magazine taking a stand to help
the transgender community
and the issues we face. I am a
62-year-old lesbian transwoman
who has been dealing with the
LGBT community for over 35
years. I started transitioning
in 1980 and identified as a
lesbian since then. Yes, I have
found the LGBT community
welcoming, however, when I
have dated other lesbians in the
community, they have made
it clear to date me was not
acceptable. The cotton ceiling is
a theory proposed by trans porn
star and activist Drew De Veaux
to explain the experiences
transwomen have with
simultaneous social inclusion
and sexual exclusion within the
broader lesbian community. The
theory of the cotton ceiling is
useful in identifying the dynamic
transwomen are experiencing,
and is meant to open up
conversation around this issue for
transwomen lesbians like mysel£
-Jane M. Adams, San Francisco
S°''.'.
Nah, I'm happy with my
10 domestic partnership
IFDOMA
ISREPEALED,
DO
YOU
PLAN
ON
HEADING
DOWN
THE
AISLE?
0
Curve magazine,
New York, NY 10034
WRITE
LISIPO Box 467,
Send to:
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Online: curvemag.com/letters
8
CURVE
JUNE
2013
' believe
I've been a subscriber to Curve
for years. The reason I read it is
because it's a lesbian magazinenot a gay men's, straight men's,
transmen's or any kind of men's
magazine. I love men from all of
those categories, but they're not
lesbians. Let them publish their
own magazines. It feels like lesbians are being marginalized by
men, even in a lesbian magazine.
Enough already! Thanks for listening. -Diane Schuette, Center
Conway, N.H.
On March 28, an activist named
Red Durkin posted a petition
on Change.org asking artists and
attendees to boycott the Michigan
Womyn's Music Festival until
organizers fully and openly welcome all self-identified women.
This petition has intensified a
long-running debate about and
within the Festival, a debate that
has often included intense misrepresentations about the political
heart of this gathering. There is
no doubt that complex political
debate is healthy and necessary
within our communities; however,
a boycott, within this context,
fails to advance resolution and
only seeks to exact damage. As
the Festival's producer for her full
38 years, I write today to clarify
the festival's herstory, intention
and my desire for understanding within our communities, as
well as to clarify where I stand
on these issues. I have listened, I
have talked, I have struggled, and
I will continue to do so. I do not
fear our differences. But I do fear
the harm being done to the space
held so dear by so many-the
space known around the world
as "Michigan'' - by the way this
conflict is playing out. And thus
I hope you will consider what I
have to say with an open heart
and open mind, as I pledge to
Subscriber Services are now available at
curvemag.com/customerservice.
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Loving Beth Ditto here ...
-Kelly Kanojo Morrison
The Gossip's a killer band
-Brandi Nicole Tash
Love seeing Beth Ditto
on the cover. She
rocks by not giving
into industry pressure
to change her body.
-Courtney Cates
POST
OF
THE
MONTH
My Curvecollection,
I've kept every issue
I'veever owned. I find
myselfgoingback to
them as reference
materials.If the spine
[or] cover is missingit
meanseither Melissa
Etheridgeor Uh Huh
Her was on the cover
& I've removedit & the
article to put them in
my scrapbooks.
-Lauren T. Cox
continue to listen to the diversity
of voices in this struggle. [Read
the full letter at curvemag.com.]
-Lisa Vogel, Walhalla. Mich.
Beautiful Bonus
I notice that Curve is now regularly running beauty advice and
fashion features. I'd like to thank
you for that. It's such a relief to
get everything I'm interested in
from the one magazine instead
of having to look in straight
women's magazines, which don't
speak to me. - Karen Pendlebury,
Toronto, Canada
100% CORPORATE EQUALITY INDEJ\
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UPRONT!CURVETTES
LAURIESCHENDEN
JOAN LIPKIN
ELIZABETHNGUYEN
TEMMA EHRENFELD
For more than a decade
Laurie Schenden has covered
the entertainment industry
for Curve, the Los Angeles
Times and Germany's
Spotlight magazine and is
the entertainment editor of
GoWEHO.com. Her cover
stories for Curve have included
Sharon Stone, Melissa
Etheridge, the cast of The L
Word and in this issue she
interviews The Fosters co-stars
Teri Polo and Sherri Saum.
Laurie is also an award-winning
documentary filmmaker and
one of the co-creators of the
Laughing Matters film series,
seen on Logo.
Joan Lipkin is the Artistic
Director of That Uppity Theatre
Company. She co-produced
the 2013 Briefs Festival of Short
LGBT Plays, which premiered
her play, Are You Married? She
has been published in
anthologies, including Here
Come the Brides, Out &
Allied, Upstaging, Big Daddy:
Directing as if Race and Gender
Matter, and her play The State
of Marriage was recently
featured in American Theatre.
Joan is a James F. Hornback
Ethical Humanist, recipient of a
Visionary award, and 2012 Arts
Innovator of the Year. Current
projects include The DisAbility
Project, The Big, Fat, LGBT
Show and Kaleidoscope at
Yale University.
Editorial assistant Elizabeth
Nguyen is an ardent feminist
whose adventures in soulsearching involve sampling
ice cream, watching anime,
cuddling with neighborhood
cats and dancing wildly when
no one is looking. When
not slaving away at Curve,
Elizabeth is working on a
collection of short stories
featuring lesbians of color. For
this issue, she had the pleasure
of interviewing photographer
Dese'Rae L. Stage, creator of
Live Through This photography
project.
A health and psychology
writer, Temma Ehrenfeld
has written about sexuality,
relationships and same-sex
issues for The New York Times,
Reuters, Newsweek and Or. Oz.
She biogs at Psychology Today
and she is eager to collaborate
on psychology books with
clinicians or scientists.
Read Temma's piece on the
surprising science behind
sexual fluidity on page 50.
10
CURVE
JUNE
2013
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THE GAYDAR
p
~~ THEGAVDAR
Takes one to know one? Let our gaydar help
?0 you decide who's hot, who's not, who's
~ shaking it and who's faking 1tin lesboland.
~
BY RACHEL SHATTO
~
Jeremy Irons says marriage
equality could result in fathers
marrying their sons for tax
purposes and would "debase
or change what marriage
is." But to accuse him of
homophobia would be "to say
that I believe the earth is flat."
Hmm, I wonder where on the
flat earth we got that idea?
Talk show host Marie Osmond reiterates
her support of marriage equality and of
her openly gay daughter. "I think that my
daughter deserves everything that she
desires in life ...l don't think God made one
Sci-fi goddess Sigourney
Weaver is honored by Geeks
OUT with a gala inspired by her
geekiest roles. Her response: "I
support each and every one of
you to be exactly and gloriously
who you are ...so rock on and
geek out, my friends." Swoon
Lily proclaims she's gay on
Modern Family. OK, so it
turns out she isn't really a
(literal) baby dyke. But we
couldn't resist the opportunity
to show you this picture of the
little cutie pie
Folk singer Michelle
Shocked's recent "god
hates fags" rant has us...
well. ..shocked-and
MenaSuvari
revives our girl
crush with her
turn as a lesbian
murderess in the
Lifetime movie
Stalkers. What
can I say, we
like 'em cute
and crazy
"'
<t
>
~
w
~
...J
"'
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E
0
Antigone Rising's
Kristen EllisHenderson and her
wife Sarah grace
the cover of Time.
Even better, the
headline reads "Gay
marriage already
won." Well, it's about
damn time!
(f)
w
:a:
'.:;
best character on
Suburgatory-is
a big ol' secret
bisexual. This
series just became
must-see lezzie TV
Sara Gilbert and
Linda Perry are
getting hitched!
Perry proposed to
Gilbert with a series
of tees that read "will
you marry me" while
musicians played
"Love Song"
Ten years after a certain
forgetful fish voiced
by Ellen DeGeneres
swam into our hearts
in Finding Nemo, Pixar
announces Finding
Dory is on its way. Let
the countdown to
November 2015 begin!
12
CURVE
JUNE 2013
Funny lady Rosie
O'Donnell brings
her dramatic acting
chops to Bomb
Girls with a guest
appearance on the
period drama that is,
well, the bomb
Penn has its very own
adolescent lesbian
character, Marigoldand she is adorable
Season four of The Voice doesn't disappoint
as the queer-inclusive series boasts two new
lesbian contestants, Karina Iglesias and
Michelle Chamuel to root for
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Bold and unexpected,
Sweetie2Sweetie's Day of the Dead
inspired bracelet is a multi-hued statement piece you can wear year round.
($28, sweetie2sweetie.etsy.com)
Sparkle Shades
Put a twinkle in your
eye with rainbow glitter
shades.Channel your
inner rockstar with these
show stoppers. ($69,
prettyrockgirl.etsy.com)
w
0
S2
z
Fabulous Footwear
It's Pride Time
Adidas goes over
the rainbow with
Jeremy Scott Js Wings
Instinct Hi Multicolor
shoes. These special
edition kicks will have
you high stepping
in polychromatic
style at this year's
parade. ($85,
jeremyscottjswings.net)
Modify Watches offer a colorful way to keep time this summer.
Durable, flexible, and water-resistant, the brightly hued mix-andmatch straps complete your warm weather wardrobe.
($30, modifywatches.com)
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14
CURVE
JUNE
2013
Make it Perfectly Queer
Bold Borough Bag
We can't get enough of
the tees from the lesbianowned shop Rainbow
Alternative. Keep it short,
sweet and sassy with their
Yes, Really T-shirt. ($26,
rainbowalternative.etsy.com)
Ogio's stylish Brooklyn
shoulder bag features a fully
padded, zippered, tabletfriendly pocket, adorable
fashion-forward button
detailing and is available in
a veritable rainbow of color
options. ($40, ogio.com)
Show your
true colors
with glam
goods in
rainbow hues
Star-gay-zer
Domino Doll house is the go-to
shop for plus-size gals with
edge. Your curves will literally
be out of this world in their
Galaxy baby doll dress. ($90,
dominodollhouse.com)
Works Like a Charm
Looking for a subtle way to
let your rainbow flag fly?
Corso Studio's expandable
cuff rainbow bracelet is
sweetly suggestive.
($16, corsostudio.etsy.com)
Ahead of the Curve
We're serious about this shameless plug!
Curve+ has launched right in time for Pride,
and what better way to celebrate your queer
identity than with America's best-selling lesbian
publication? Keep up with who's hot, what's
new, and share it with your friends!
($5, curvemag.com)
Pretty Pony
Earbuds featuring everyone's favorite
Little Pony, Rainbow Dash's, pony punim
sound pretty great to us.
($18, thinkgeek.com)
Color Your Cause
C4 stands for "Choose Your Color. Choose Your
Cause," and whether you're rooting for marriage
equality or a cure for cancer, you can choose from
over 200 belt combinations (like a Swatch watch)
and for each purchase, a different cause including
the HRC. ($20, c4belts.com)
JUNE
2013
CURVE
15
NDstBEAUTY
Bright Eyed
Turn heads with a bright
and seasonal pop of
color with Stila's Stay All
Day Waterproof Liquid
Eyeliner in turquoise.
This long-lasting liner
can go from the street,
to the beach, to the
club without smudging
or fading. ($20,
sti/acosmetics.com)
Showing Skin
Take a Swipe
Whether you're camping out, headed to the beach,
Pride parading or simply on the go for some summer
fun, Sunscreen Wipes by Adventuress provide the exact
dosage of moisturizing sunscreen needed and are uniquely
packaged in a sealed finger pocket to ensure you get a clean
application throughout the day. ($24, goadventuress.com)
Warm weather and
heavy foundation are
rarely a good combo.
Naked Skin Beauty
Balm by Urban Decay
is just the light, skinenriching coverage
you're looking for. Optical
blurring pigment helps
hide pores and fine lines
and SPF 20 prevents
any more damage as
you frolic in the sun.
($34, urbandecay.com)
Goddess Glow
Skin damaging tans may be
passe and spray tanning can
go wrong quickly, but who
can resist a little golden glow?
Get that tantalizing hint of
color with Estee Lauder's Bronze
Goddess Illuminating Powder
on your cheekbones, collarbone
or anywhere you want to draw
her eye. ($40, esteelauder.com)
Prep Your Pucker
Sweeten, soften and protect your lips
with Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment in a
sexy, summery coral shade. Soothing
oils, waxes and sugar repair and
soothe lips and SPF 15 keeps them
safe from the summer sun.
($23, sephora.com)
Summer Beauty
KEEPYOUR COOL WITH SKIN PROTECTING
PRODUCTSAND POPSOF UNEXPECTEDCOLOR
Protect
Yourself
Catch Her Eye
UV rays and
environmental
toxins are at an
all-time high in
summer, and
slapping on
sunscreen only
does so much.
SESHA'sClinical
Repair/Protect SPF
30 Day Emulsion
brings out the antiageing big guns all
summer long. ($109,
seshaskin.com)
16
CURVE
JUNE
em rg,inC
In•
2013
emerginC
1
IJl8
poten Ol:M5m
1cal
Pride means party
time, and the first part
of your visage to give
away your midsummer
night's madness is your
eyes. Whether you want
to look perky for the
ladies or need extra skin
hydration, emerginC's
soothing eye masks
are packed with active
minerals and calming
ingredients that reduce
puffiness and lighten
the under-eye area.
($38, emerginc.com)
TheFloridaKeys
KeyWest
Close To Perfect - Far From Normal
NOS/GOSSIP
p
~ LESBOFILE
~
~
Kristen stirs the lesbian rumor pot, Brandi kisses
and tells and lesbians make the news, literally.
~
BY JOCELYN VOO
Femme Fatale Fairytale
Even if you're not on the vampire romance
bandwagon, now you may have a reason to
take note of the real-life romance between
Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen
Stewart. The rocky romance hit tabloids
when Stewart was caught canoodling with
the director of Snow White and The Huntsman. Still, Pattinson took her back. But now
The National Enquirer alleges that while
Pattinson's abroad filming, Stewart is using
her long leash to sink her teeth into Katy
Perry's assistant, Tamra Natisin.
Truth or not, this is one fantasy storyline
we can get behind.
Lock Up Your Wives,
Sisters, Cousins ...
It's a televised catfight between comic Chelsea Handler and Real Housewives of Beverly
Hills star Brandi Glanville.
Try to keep up: first Handler bashes
Glanville, citing the reality star's notoriety
for fake boobs and vaginas (no, seriously).
Then Glanville lashes back, telling Andy
Cohen on his Bravo! show Watch What
Happens, Live, that she and Handler know
each other not only because they share the
same agent, but also that "I made out with
her lesbian friend and her assistant and her
brother, so she hates me:'
Well, in Handler's defense, we'd be mad
too if she got to the lesbian friend before
we did.
When Gays Attack
In one swift move, former alt-folk singer
Michelle Shocked managed to incite the
gay contingency of her fan base (read: a
whole lot of people), so much that she
caused a concert walkout. And it wasn't
her lyrics, either. Yahoo! reports that the
oft-lesbo-identified rocker started ranting
about Prop. 8, citing verses from the Old
Testament condemning homosexuality and
encouraging the crowd to tweet "and say
18
CURVE
JUNE
2013
11
'Michelle Shocked says God hates fags:
The reaction was swift, as many of
Shocked's future shows were cancelled. In
reaction, the singer issued a press release
indicating that she doesn't always "express
[herself] as clearly as [she] should;' and
apologizing for any misinterpretation. However, nowhere does she clarify her stance on
Prop.8.
Biting the hand that feeds her? You
decide.
Mixing Business with Pleasure
Turns out there's been a little bit of greenroom romance over at NBC news: corre
spondent and Weekend Today anchor Jenna
Wolfe and fellow correspondent Stephanie
Gosk came out to the network-and
tot, e
world-that
they're not only a couple of
three years, but that they're also expectant
moms-to-be.
Granting the inside story to fellow
news anchor Matt Lauer, Wolfe enthused,
"Stephanie's extremely adventurous, she's
been all over the world. And you know
me-there's not a building I haven't jumped
off of ... so, for us, this is nothiQg like that.
This is the adventure of a lifetime.
And will there be wedding bells as well?
Yes, Wolfe tells People magazine.
Morning TV just got a wh e lot more
interesting. •
Jenna Wolfe and
Stephanie Gosk
(below)
we don't core
what flavor you like
(or who you enjoy it with)
We do care about equality and giving
you the same opportunity to save on
car insurance as married couples.
If you and your partner are insured on
1
the same policy, you II get the married
rate in nearly every state where we do
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business ... even states that don t
recognize your union.
Learn more about our modern
approach to car insurance.
esurance.com/equality
NDS/
PROFILE
Lauren Lamoly
SanDiego» RightsActivistfor LGBTMilitary
SpousesandPartners
It's one thing to face a world of challenges as a lesbian
couple, but Lauren Lamoly says the trials and tribulations
are only compounded when your gal is in the service.
Her partner, Captain Christie Jones, is a JAG (a lawyer
who is in the military) in the U.S. Air Force and is currently deployed to Afghanistan. "This deployment is
one of the hardest things I've ever gone through," says
Lamoly. "The term 'sleepless nights' seems so cliche,
but it's exactly how this goes."
Still, she says, they are in it together, and in addition
to running, playing soccer and getting her master's
IPARTISAN
SENATE
VERSION
of the Violence Against Women Act or VAWA was
approved by the House and signed into law by
President Obama. A House Republican version of
the bill would have stripped protections for LGBT
v1ct1msof abuse. The approved VAWA includes
expanded protections for Native Americans,
immigrants and LGBT victims of abuse. President
Obama was quoted as saying, "Renewing this bill
is an important step towards making sure no one
1nAmerica is forced to live 1nfear."
degree, Lamoly is also keeping herself busy at the
American Military Partner Association (AMPA), where
she serves on the Leadership Team as the director of
Communications.
AMPA, explains Lamoly, is a resource network for
partners and spouses of LGBT service members. It is
focused on supporting military families, and on advocating for the repeal of federal laws that prevent gay
military partners and spouses from taking advantage
of the benefits and services that are available to their
straight counterparts. Lamoly's job is to help families
share their stories through the media and biogs. "What
we provide is a medium for ideas, support and cohesion to a group of individuals otherwise shunned in a
camaraderie-driven society," she explains.
LGBT rights in the military have come a long way,
but there is a long way to go, says Lamoly. The lack
of spousal benefits, the incessant questions from coworkers operating under the DADT tautology, and just
a general fear of being out are all real issues that she
continues to address through her work with AMPA.
Long-term, Lamoly says, she know she'll stay active,
but perhaps in a different way. Teaching, writing and
attending law school are all ways to bring about
change, and are all viable possibilities for her. Which-
buy wedding packages for all
THEFEDERATION
INTERNATIONALE
de Football Assoc1at1onIs
requesting an off1c1alresponse
from the Nigerian Football
Federation regarding reports
that lesbian athletes have been
banned from playing Reports
indicate that the head of the
country's women's football
league said, "Any player that we
find Is associated with [homosexuality] will be d1squal1f1ed"
Any possible action from FIFA
will be complicated as under
Nigerian law, homosexuality
Is Illegal
ACTOR
AND
GAY
ACTIVIST
Koyuki Higashi and her partner
Hiroko became the first lesbians
to marry at Tokyo Disney Initially,
M1l1alResort Hotels, which operates Tokyo Disney, reportedly
asked the couple 1fone could
wear a tux and the other a dress
to not upset park vIsItors However, a statement was issued
a week later apolog1z1ngand
ever direction she takes, she says she knows her faith is
a big part of her support system, and quotes one of her
favorite prayers: "May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really can make a difference
in this world, so that you are able, with God's grace, to
do what others claim cannot be done." -Sheryl Kay
20
CURVE
JUNE
2013
» FORANOTHER
OUT
INFRONT
PROFILE
GOTOCURVEMAG.COM
their resorts since 2007 Japan
does not off1c1allyrecognize
same-sex marriages
AGENS,
WHICH
MEANS
"DRIVING
force" In Latin, Is a new lesbian
glossy magazine h1tt1ng newsstands In Russia The magazine
Is In defiance of a proposed
law banning all "homosexual
propaganda," which has led
to increased violence against
LGBT people In the country
Agens features androgynous
fashion features and comingout stories, and Is currently
labeled as for 18+
JACKIE
NANYONJO,
WHO
SOUGHT
asylum In the U K, was deported
to Uganda on Jan 12 despite
her claims that she was at risk of
homophobic persecution After
many hours she was returned to
her family vomItIng blood and In
pain She was forced to remain In
h1d1ng,making It impossible for
her to receive medical attention
curve
Victory /or Now
Will the Violence Against Women Act make a difference?
BY VICTORIA
0
A. BROWNWORTH
n Valentine's Day, women in 200 countries participated in a rally organized by
the global anti-violence initiative One Billion Rising, to stop violence against
women. On February 28, Congress finally passed the Violence Against
Women Act (VAWA), which was signed into law by President Obama on
March 7, 2013.
But despite the one day of exuberance, when millions of women stood up against violence,
and the relief that VAWA was finally passed after 18 months of delays, the fact remains
of all
that 1 billion women worldwide will be raped or beaten in our lifetime-one-third
women. Those are the odds that every girl on earth is given when she is born: Will she be
the one in three? Will she be the woman sexually assaulted or beaten by a partner?
Some women are more at risk than others. In the U.S., American Indian women living
on reservations have a high incidence of both rape and domestic violence. Yet they are
not alone. In the U.S., a sexual assault occurs every two minutes. According to statistics
from the Department of Justice, 200,000 women over the age of 12 will be raped this year.
Women between the ages of 18 and 37 are the most frequent victims of rape, while women
between the ages of 25 and 34 are the most frequent victims of domestic violence.Teen dating
violence, like sexual assault, is on the rise, as is same-sex domestic violence. Transgender
women are at increased risk for sexual assault. One in four girls under 18 will be the victims
of molestation-a cozy term for child rape. Lesbian and transgender teens are at high risk
for both sexual assault and trafficking, especially if they are runaways or homeless.
I wasn't in any high-risk category when I
was raped, sodomized and brutally beaten
10 years ago. But the man who raped me-a
serial rapist whom the police had neglected
to inform my mostly poor, mostly AfricanAmerican neighborhood about-had already
raped several other younger women, who
did fit the at-risk demographic, prior to the
attack on me.
Like the majority of lesbians who are
sexually assaulted, not only did I not want to
come forward about the attack, I didn't know
where to turn for help. Services for victims of
sexual and domestic violence, even in a large
city like mine, are not yet focused on lesbians
and transgender women. Those of us who
go to straight agencies for help often find
ourselves victimized all over again, albeit by
well-meaning advocates for women.
Like lesbian rape victims, lesbians who
are victims of domestic violence also have
little recourse. According to the National
Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, in
an estimated 25 to 33 percent of same-sex
couples, someone experiences domestic
violence, a rate close to that for straight
couples. But lesbian victims of battering
have routinely been excluded from domestic violence shelters and told those spaces
are needed for "real" victims. Considering
that domestic violence is epidemic in the
U.S. with a woman being beaten every 15
seconds, there are millions of victims who
need help.
Can VAWA change any of the grim statistics that make all of us potential victims?
Roberta Hacker is executive director
of Women in Transition in Philadelphia,
the nation's oldest continuing social service
agency for battered and abused women and
one of the first to have programs for lesbians, which she initiated. Hacker, herself
a lesbian, put it succinctly: "Lesbians are
often discounted and dismissed as victims
of domestic violence. They become invisible victims:' Law enforcement often thinks
that "women can't really hurt each other"
JUNE
2013
CURVE
21
st
POLITICS
the way men can hurt women, which, she
says, leaves lesbian victims feeling even more
isolated than straight women. That isolation further victimizes the abused lesbian,
making her "more likely to continue to be
abused and remain in the abusive situation;'
notes Hacker, often leaving her dependent on
her abusive partner. Hacker, a former president of the Pennsylvania Coalition Against
Domestic Violence, says that this new version
of VAWA, which is inclusive of lesbians, is a
positive step. But just a step."We have to hold
people accountable to VAWA;' she says, and
"also work at the local level to advocate for
victims of domestic and sexual violence:'
Safe Horizon, the nation's largest victimservice provider, serves all of New York
City. Liz Roberts is the chief program
officer. According to Roberts, initially, DV
programs focused on violence perpetrated
by men. She agrees with Hacker that
this "created a perception that intimatepartner violence and sexual assault didn't
occur in LGBT relationships, a perception
that mainstream domestic violence advocacy groups have often reinforced. Nothing
could be further from the truth:'
The truth, however, isn't simple, as
Roberts explains. "Homophobia and transphobia contribute to high rates of sexual
victimization [of lesbians and transwomen],
preventing them from coming forward or
subjecting them to discriminatory responses
when they do:'
The inclusion of LGBT people in VAWA
is key to creating some of the changes Hacker
and Roberts see as essential to literally saving
the lives of lesbians and transwomen. That
such inclusion was a major roadblock in
initial attempts to pass the bill is indicative
of how segregated from societal care and
concern these victims have been.
VAWA will target funding to LGBT
victims of violence, while prohibiting recipients of VAWA funding from discriminating
against victims based on their actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity,
Roberts explained. This will "create greater
incentives for domestic violence service providers and our partners in law enforcement,
who often benefit from VAWA funding,
to create inclusive policies, procedures and
training programs:'
But will lesbians and transwomen be better able to access protection against sexual
and domestic violence with VAWA?
Roberts says yes. She thinks that the legislation will 'expand the kind of services that
22
CURVE
JUNE
2013
previously excluded our community, like
emergency housing, legal assistance, specialized health care and counseling programs:'
Battered lesbians have routinely complained that police have not helped them, or
even treated them as crime victims. Many
victims have been arrested themselves, or
police have ignored them with comments
like "You two girls can work it our:'
Roberts says, "These are real issues
facing our communities. In fact, a 2011
study by the National Coalition of AntiViolence Programs found that 28 percent
of the victims in the study reported that
they had been arrested by the police. We
know that intimate-partner abuse often
goes under-reported in the LGBT community because of fears of biased and
uninformed responses from law enforcement:' Roberts says that "better training,
policy guidance and accountability for law
enforcement personnel are needed to help
them identify the primary aggressor and
take appropriate actions:'
Which means VAWA could encourage
lesbians to report sexual or domestic violence, if they could trust law enforcement to
treat them in an unbiased manner.
As associate vice-president for homeless
youth and anti-trafficking programs at
Safe Horizon in New York City, Carolyn
Strudwick leads the Streetwork project,
which provides street outreach, drop-in
services, and shelter to homeless youth.
Strudwick says, "Queer youth are definitely
more vulnerable to violence based on their
gender identity and sexual orientation, and
they are disproportionately represented in
the runaway and homeless youth population.
In fact, 40 percent of all runaway and homeless youth nationally identify as LGBT:' As
Strudwick explains, they are already victims when they come to the Safe Horizon
program. "Most have been sexually abused
or exploited at some point in their lives;'
Resources
Safe Horizon
1-800-621-HOPE
National Domestic
Violence Hotline:
1-800-799-7233
National Sexual
Assault Hotline:
1-800-656-HOPE
she says. "The LGBT youth we see often
tell us they are homeless as a direct result
of homophobia or transphobia, either at
home or in the foster care system. Our hope
is that VAWA will provide more options
for the young people we see every day:' But,
she explains, VAWA alone isn't an answer.
"This is where our communities need to get
involved. We need to insist that our federal,
state and local governments work together
to create a real safety net for all homeless
youth, and we need to engage wealthy
people who care about LGBT communities
to provide support to local programs that
work with homeless LGBT youth, using a
low-threshold, youth-centered, non-judgmental model like ours. Otherwise, young
people will continue to be vulnerable to
those who seek to exploit them:'
Trafficking and the sexual slavery of
LGBT youth is a growing problem in the
US. and globally.Social media has made the
process more sophisticated, but it remains
just as violent and grim as ever. LGBT youth
are often "traded" via the Internet, which
makes trafficking the victims easier and
catching the perpetrators more difficult.
Strudwick explains that the Trafficking
Victims Protection Act (TVPA) was passed
along with VAWA. Although TVPA got
no attention in the media coverage of the
VAWA fight, it is a key to the protection of
LGBT victims. "TVPA will authorize federal anti-trafficking programs for the next
four years;' Strudwick explains. "It will
also provide new tools to prosecutors who
go after the traffickers. This is an important step toward freedom for the millions
of women, men, children and youth around
the globe and around the country who are
trafficked into forced labor and sexual slavery each year:' According to the UN Status
on Women report, 98 percent of all trafficked people globally are women.
According to Strudwick,"At Safe Horizon,
weve learned that the conditions that make
a person vulnerable to human trafficking are
the conditions that make people vulnerable
to other forms of victimization as well:'
But all women are vulnerable to violence
and 1 billion of us will become victims.
Roberts says, "Having a more inclusive
VAWA won't solve these problems overnight, but it does send a powerful message
that local law enforcement agencies need to
pay attention to our communities' needs:'
The rest is up to women like her-and
people like us.•
Topicalprevention
andtreatmentof
ticks,fleas,mosquitoes,
bitingfliesandlice
formonthlyuseondogsandpuppies
7 weeksofageandolder, '
weighing21-55 lbs.
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II ISFOR
USE
ONDOGS
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aterproo
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Kl 3951
st
LIPSTICK+DI
PSTICK
Why Are
Femmes So
friends over to our house and
by fear. No one can decide
she introduced me as her
for someone else when is
"friend." All they talked about
the best time and what is the
was her recent divorce, her
most appropriate way to come
ex-husband, and how much
out of the closet. Lipstick
DilJicult?
they liked him. As the night
has a point, though. This isn't
dragged on, I was sure she'd
really about her coming out;
have "the talk" with them, but
it's about this conflict you two
Timeless enigma or antiquated inquiry?
boy was I wrong! She didn't.
are in. How you deal with dif-
Ultimately, I was floored by
ferences at this early stage of
her disregard for my feelings,
your relationship will deter-
BY LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
It is the age-old conundrum
Why are femmes so difficulr?
They are a pain, but damned
if I can live without 'em
-Jilted 1nJohnsonv1!/e
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
and for our relationship. Am I
mine whether you succeed as
wrong to feel this way? -Just
a couple. The key is to work
a Friend
through the issue: Share your
feelings without blaming her,
Lipstick: Just a Friend, you're
listen to her, and try to under-
never wrong for how you feel.
stand why she's behaving the
Emotion is organic. Where you
way she is.
can go wrong, however, is in
deciding what to do with those
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
emotions and how you'll move
I'm dating a woman named
forward in response to them.
Barbara, and we have an
If Beth isn't ready to come
amazing time together. We
out, she's just isn't ready. It's a
talk for hours and have a lot in
hairy-toothed beast, and she
common. From the begin-
will slay the monster when she
ning, she said she needed to
finds her warrior spirit. It's out
find herself and didn't want a
Dipstick: We butches need
Seems a small price to pay
of your control. What you do
commitment. But then, sud-
femmes around like a saguaro
for the beauty they bring to
have control over is whether
denly she started wanting to
cactus needs the sun, like
the world.
you can live as her "friend"
know if I kiss anyone else or
for now. Yes or no? If yes, you
if I speak with my ex, and she
Lipstick: Dipstick just earned
need to work on patience,
started saying that if I sleep
stream. Femmes nourish us,
some serious points with all
understanding and compassion.
with anyone else it will be all
inspire us and lead us back to
the Lipsticks out there! I agree
If no, tell her where you're at
over. Then she reiterates that
our home. Femmes appreci-
with one thing you said, Jilted.
and move on. It's your choice
she doesn't want anything
ate us, get our aesthetic,
I haven't been able to live
at this point, not hers.
serious, and in the same con-
make us feel like there's a
without femmes either-as
place in this world where we
friends or as lovers. For you,
Dipstick: It's been so
spend more time with me. I'm
belong. Like you said, we just
however, it's not femmes who
long since I've been in the
so confused. She won't make
can't live without them. Sure,
are difficult, but the way you
closet that I can barely
a commitment to me, yet
sometimes we have to tell
are marginalizing them. 1963
remember what it feels like to
expects me to be faithful to
her over and over that she
called and they want their
be suffocated-trapped
her?-O/ivia,
looks nice in that outfit-yes,
antiquated gender roles back.
tiny space with smelly soccer
Church Lady needs her Bible,
and like a salmon needs a
versation wishes she could
in a
the Old Faithful
cleats, musty boxes of photos,
Lipstick: Old Faithful, have
that one. Sometimes we need
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I
Michael Jackson albums,
you come here for the truth?
to tell her we're sorry, even
am upset with my girlfriend,
self-hatred and shame. Sure, I
If so, hold on to your britches
when we have no idea what
Beth. She is not out to her
think it's wrong, what she did.
cuz here it comes. Barbara
that other outfit too. Yes, and
we did wrong. And some-
friends and it's making me
She should have come out to
is stringing you along, and I
times we have to change out
crazy. Granted, this is the
her friends and announced
don't think she plans on ever
of our sweats, put on a nice
first lesbian relationship for
that you are her new fiance.
making a commitment.
blazer, and take her out for a
both of us, but I've come
She should have done a little
met girls like Barb before-she
just wants you to be her slice
I've
night on the town. Other than
out to all my friends already
rainbow dance up and down
that, I can't think of anything
and I'm losing my patience.
the front porch. But she didn't,
of cake, and eat it sometimes,
difficult about femmes.
Recently, she had some old
because she was paralyzed
too. Why don't you test this
24
CURVE
JUNE
2013
game she's playing and kiss
on Saturday night. Lesbians
someone else. Then tell her, as
have a hard time with casual
Dipstick: When did you get
requested. At that point, you'll
dating. From the moment our
so cynical, Lipstick? I think
see once and for all what her
lips graze on the first kiss,
Barbara just doesn't know
''
are waiting in the wings.
intentions are and how serious
we start to sprout roots. And
what she wants, and that's
she is.
there's never another mention
why she's being wishy-washy.
of all those other women she
Her instinct as a lesbian is to
Dipstick: You've got it all
wrong, Lip. Old Faithful, I know
intended to date.
latch on to the first girl she
this story well. You start chat-
she remembers she's trying
ting on a dating site and she
Lipstick: I'm not so sure that
is what's happening here, Dip.
tells you she's not looking for
It seems what Barb is doing is
not pair up too quickly. Olivia,
anything serious. She wants to
backing Olivia into a com-
this is a good opportunity
date lots of people and have
mitment corner, without the
you to step back and figure
a good time. Then, the next
commitment. Maybe it's that
out what you want out of this
thing you know, she's got a
she likes the control. Or maybe
relationship.
toothbrush in your bathroom
she just wants to be sure
reacting to Barbara, take
cup, daily text messages
there's one on the leash. Maybe
control and move forward
invade your phone, and she's
Barb determines her self-worth
toward the life you want to
in her cozies on your couch
by the number of women who
lead-with
has chemistry with, but then
to find herself, so she'd better
for
1963
CAlltD
THtY
AND
THtlR
WANT
GtNDtR
ROltS
BACK.
Instead of just
''
or without her.•
JUNE
2013
CURVE
25
•
I
The 20~Minute Workout
Stress- and sweat-free exercise that actually works.
I
dislike exercise. As far as fitness
goes, I've pretty much taken my
body for granted. Infrequent episodes of tennis and swimming, and
the New York method of transportation,
walking, is basically how I kept fit.
This served me well until I hiked down
a valley in Costa Rica and couldn't make
it back up again, thanks to sciatica. Then
came the clicking knee, back pain, and fatigue. It was time to do something about
the shape I was in.
A lesbro of mine, and a former Mr. Gay
World, shared his secret with me: Inform
Fitness Studio has a 20-minute workout that
is so stress- and sweat-free you could do it
in your work clothes. And you only have to
go once a week! This sounded too good to
be true, and being the gym-averse exercise
skeptic that I am, I had to put it to the test.
Part office, part living room, part gym,
the InForm Fitness Studio on the Upper
East Side of Manhattan became the scene
of my transformation from a physically
declining desk jockey into a woman deter-
26
CURVE
JUNE 2013
ev MERRYN JoHNs
mined to build her core strength.
For 20 minutes Adam Zickerman,
dressed in casual business attire, takes
me through six tasks on customized gym
equipment, marking my progress on a clipboard. There is no straining, shouting, and
little sweating. Sometimes we even chat
about the progress of LGBT rights as I
safely and effectively exercise. But how
does it work? Well, not like other exercise.
"Exercise can actually be bad for you;'
says Zickerman, who is the founder of
InForm Fitness Studios and the author of
Powerof 10: The Once-A-WeekSlow Motion
Fitness Revolution. Spending hours at the
gym straining to lift heavy equipment can
be counterproductive.
"Force is mass plus acceleration;' says
Zickerman. "The force of weight combined
with momentum causes injuries. Inform
Fitness reduces the momentum and the
weight to reduce the force that can cause
injury. When you lift weights slowly, it
feels heavier. That exercise sends a signal
to the body to make the investment to be
stronger. It's a survival mechanism:'
The tasks of slow lifting are targeted at
the areas of your body that need strengthening. The trainer makes subtle adjustments based on your physical strengths
and weaknesses with the goal being to
increase the weights or the reps each
week. You work the muscle slowly until it
fatigues. Stimulated by failing, the muscle
recovers and rebuilds during the week,
ready for the next endurance test.
"Too much exercise and the body has no
chance for response and can break down;'
says Zickerman, who was a gym rat until
it compromised his health. 'J\t InForm we
take five or six hours a week and turn it into
20 minutes a week:'
Zickerman's theory is that society has
confused exercise with recreation, hence the
hours we spend at the gym, and the popularity of spin classes, yoga groups, and running marathons. "Endurance doesn't equal
exercise;' he says. "The person who runs the
longest marathon may not be the healthiest:' He believes we also wrongly attribute
weight loss to exercise, when weight should
mostly be controlled through nutrition.
The lnForm environment is simple: no
wall~to~wall mirrors, no wait to get to your
exercise station; no thumping music to
goad you into working quickly; no social
scene. This is a serious workout for time~
poor people. No wonder it's taking off at
the New York location, which sees around
1,300 workout clients per month.
lnForm is also expanding with locations
in New Jersey, Los Angeles, and Leesburg,
Virginia. And Zickerman is developing a
mobile gym that travels to clients.
So, what has it done for me? After an
InForm workout I experience a high, the
kind usually produced by massive and
sustained cardio, not 20 minutes sitting
down. After a few weeks, I stand taller and
straighter. I no longer get winded going
upstairs. I lift heavy items without pulling
a muscle. I experience no more attacks of
sciatica. My knee has stopped clicking. And
hello biceps, hello abs. Right in time for
summer! (informfitness.com) •
ADAM'S
6INFORM
TIPS
To get the most out of your 20-minute
workout, make the following lifestyle
adjustments:
DEVELOP
AN
ANTI-SOCIAL
STREAK:
Unplug
from
your favorite social media distraction,
especially at the gym. Limit checking in with
Foursquare and Facebook.
EAT
LIKE
ACAVE(WO)MAN:
Avoid carbs
and consume quality meats, seafood,
vegetables, eggs, healthy fats, fruit and
nuts. Our Paleolithic ancestors didn't suffer
from obesity, heart disease or diabetes.
DEVELOP
THE
THREE
PILLARS
OF
POWER:
Rest,
nutrition and exercise, in that order.
GET
THE
SKINNY
ON
FATS:
Many fats are good, but
trans fats are bad. Know the difference.
COMBAT
THE
AGING
PROCESS:
Human aging is
associated with the atrophying of skeletal
muscle and with functional impairment,
both of which can be combatted by
strength training.
STOP
MAKING
EXCUSES:
You can always work
out. Instructors can modify your routine
and work around a broken bone, a sprained
ankle, a sore knee or killer tennis elbow.
LIQUID
ASSETS
Girl power and the juice revolution.
Here's how I got through winter: cheese,
chocolate, coffee, takeout and copious
amounts of red wine. Come spring, I had
the energy and agility of a beached manatee. I'm an omnivore and I'd been riding the
sugar-caffeine-alcohol roller coaster since
Thanksgiving and couldn't disembark on
my own. I'd heard of juice cleanses, but
the idea of a liquid diet (and I'm not talking
booze) wasn't appealing. Besides, do they
even work?
Enter Ritual Wellness, a company founded
by best buds and workout partners Lori Kenyon
Farley and Marra St. Clair. In 2008, they
began exploring the benefits of raw juice cleanses to combat feelings of
sluggishness and toxicity (Lori had suffered from taking rounds of antibiotics
and Marra had been dealing with Celiac Disease since college).
Lori's business background and passion for fitness merged perfectly
with Marra's expertise in natural practices. The result: empowerment
through nutrition (the duo is working on a soon-to-be-released book).
The aim of their 3-day juice cleanse program is to reset the body, kick-start
the metabolism, curb cravings, and produce new levels of health, youthfulness
and energy.
Offering several appetizing menus of 100 percent organic, cold-pressed raw
juices, Ritual Wellness delivers your cleanse to your door, nationwide, refrigerated and ready to consume. These libations taste so good and are so full of
nutrients that you really won't want to eat, but it's okay if you need a snack or
two, maybe an organic avocado salad or some fruit and nuts. On the last day, I
did cave in to a bowl of vegetable minestrone.
I tried the Ritual Reset Cleanse, which consists of four green blends, one
alkalizing lemonade, and a protein-rich nut "mylk" per day. Starting the day
with the liquid equivalent of three pounds of spinach, kale, apples and celery,
rather than reaching for a blueberry muffin and large latte meant I avoided my
usual carb cravings at lunchtime and sugar crash in the afternoon.
By day two I felt the results: sound sleep, more energy, glowing skin, mental
clarity, and my dependence on all comfort foods subsided. I even stopped
thinking about when to do my seasonal switch from malbec to rose, and
started to think about buying a juicer! And while weight-loss is not a goal of
this cleanse, don't be surprised if you shed a couple of pounds by avoiding
your usual addictions. -Merryn Johns
Special CURVEOlfe,~
Try Ritual Wellness with this exclusive discount. Go to ritualwellness.com and
use promo code: curve15 for 15 percent off. Offer valid until June 30, 2013.
JUNE
2013
CURVE
27
ostSCENE
GLAAD
TOBE
GAY
The GLAAD Media Awards call out the Scouts and highlight trans rights.
High above bustling Times Square, impeccably dressed media
tight Boy Scouts uniform took the stage to introduce Cooper.
elites braved sleet and snow to be present at New York City's
Denouncing the Boy Scouts ban of LGBTyouth, she condemned
24th
Annual
GLAAD
Media
Awards.
The event
Russia for imprisoning members of the girl-band Pussy Riot, and
served as a star-studded
call to action as it honored outstanding media portrayals of the
called for a social "revolution!" before praising Cooper as a per-
LGBT community in 2012.
sonal inspiration. "I don't know a lot of brave people ...and that
Kicking off the ceremony, a fired-up GLAAD President,
is the reason I'm here: To give an award to someone I admire.
Herndon Graddick, seized the moment to condemn the Boy
Someone who is brave, someone who has made a difference in
Scouts of America for its systemic discrimination against LGBT
the world by promoting equality and giving a voice to the LGBT
children and their families. Graddick then urged journalists to
community. I am here to honor you, Anderson Cooper."
tell more of the untold stories of the transgender community,
Taking the stage and visibly awe-struck, Cooper couldn't
calling transgender issues the future of the civil rights battle.
resist giving Madge a big smooch on the lips. He joked that that
As the awards got underway, co-hosts Sam Champion and
was the only time he'd kissed a girl, before graciously accepting
Lara Spencer of Good Morning America announced winners in
the honor. "As a gay person, it's important for me to remember
each category, including Outstanding Drama Series (Smash,
that all of us come from a community whose stories have for
NBC) and Outstanding Documentary (How To Survive a Plague,
too long been forgotten or ignored, ridiculed or misrepresented,"
he told the audience. "A community despite all that has found
Sundance Selects).
The main honor of the night was reserved for CNN's sexy silver
ways to love and to laugh and to care for one another. I know
fox Anderson Cooper, who received the distinguished Vito Russo
I'm only able to be on this stage because of generations of gay
Award, an honor bestowed upon openly gay media professionals
people who have come before."
who have made a significant difference in promoting equality
Before leaving the stage, an emotional Cooper looked out
for the LGBT community. This was Cooper's first award since
into the crowd, fixing his eyes on his boyfriend, Benjamin, sitting
publically coming out of the closet in 2012.
28
in the audience below. "I have had so many blessings in my life.
And what's a good celebration without Madonna?
And being gay is certainly one of the greatest blessings of all."
Ever the provocateur, a fashionably late Madonna clad in a
(glaad.org) -Samantha L. Stewart
CURVE
JUNE
2013
MUSIC
»
FlLM»
BOOKS
»
TECH
»
MUSIC»
Rebel Wit
,.
A
s I was prepping for a photo shoot with Sarah
Smith, she took a glance down at her cell
phone and casually mentioned, "Oh, I just
won a London [Ontario] Music Award for
Most Popular Singer~Songwriter:'
With a voice that is often, in fact almost always, com~
pared to Bonnie Raitt, Melissa Etheridge or Janis Joplin,
Smith makes you want to rock out and at the same time
recharges your heart and soul. Her intimate cover of"Oh!
Darling" by the Beatles is buckedist worthy. Her own
HAIR BY HANNAH STIERS @STUDIO H LONDON
MAKE UP BY HEATHER WENMAN @STUDIO H LONDON
s reflect th lives around her, and she hopes her shows
brmg people ~ether, as an extended family. "I guess I just
a~ys felt like people who are watching and supporting
my shows have become friends. Actually, the only social life
have is at shows, so I want to get to know as many people
as I can, and what they' re going through in their lives. I try
to listen, and I learn from everyone I come across. It's kind
o li¥e. &,uddha, or God, or Jesus is in everyone you meet.
to listen with an open heart:'
So I
Before her solo career began, she was the lead vocalist
\ry
JUNE
2013
REVIEWS/
MUSIC
with a band called The Joys. Their music
was chosen for the Canadian TV series
Majority Rules!,was used in the movie Cake
(starring Heather Graham), and was also
featured on the OUT TV show Chris &
John's Road Trip. She's recently released
two solo albums, Sarah Smith Live and
Live B-Sides, which were produced by the
award-winning Kevin Doyle, who's worked
with an eclectic list of musicians, including Van Morrison, Andrea Bocelli, Anne
Murray, KISS, Yo-Yo Ma and Alannah
Myles. Smith recently went to Germany to
work with producer Pat Anthony (Michael
Jackson, Usher, Black Eyed Peas), received
Album of the Year by the London Free
Press and reached #1 on Canadian radio
station Free FM 98. That's an impressive
resume, especially for someone who never
realized that music could be a profession
until she went to college.
All it took was one person telling Smith
that she could make a living playing music
and she's had a full-time career for 12 years
now. Not bad for a girl who grew up in the
small town of Arthur, Ontario (population
2,450), where becoming a professional
musician was not an option. "Coming from
30
CURVE
JUNE 2013
a farm and living in a town where nobody
played music, I didn't even realize that there
was such a thing out there:'
She left Arthur to attend the Royal
Military College of Canada, and brought
her guitar with her. To keep it in her room,
she had to take it apart for inspection and
lay it on her bed-like a pair of underwear,
or army shorts. She put up with this every
day, until she realized that the army wasn't
for her and decided to trade in her field
jacket for a microphone. Her first step was
becoming a regular guest with a band called
Thundermug. She was hooked. Eventually, Thundermug's lead singer, Bill Durst,
asked Smith to form a new band with him.
Together they started Big on Venus, which
later became the Joys.
Smith had more than one eye-opener as
she began her music career. "Having grown
up on a farm, I was very nai:ve.I had no due
that two people of the same sex could be
'together: When I first started playing
music, I found that women were hitting on
me-and it was so weird, but awesome at
the same time! Eventually, I met my wife,
Janene. I guess when I got married I came
out. I have always loved people regardless
of their gender-spirits are beyond skin.
"With Janene, I fell in love with her
spirit, and I couldn't help mysel£ I just
needed to be with this woman for the rest of
my life. Both of our parents are very sweet
and loving and want nothing but the best
for the us. We have two beautiful golden
retrievers, amazing friends and a cute little
house in London, Ontario. What more do
you need in lifet
A hard-working musician, Smith has a
strong business sense and is practical when
it comes to planning for her future. She
even has a pension. "I finally joined a union.
I thought, 'What am I going to do? When
can I retire? Maybe when I'm 65 I won't be
able to play music anymore: So I joined the
union, and they set up a pension package
for me, and I have insurance on my equipment, and, you know, I'm totally in society
but still being a rebel, right?
"I have big dreams, but in this business
you have to practice patience. So I'm just
willing to keep writing and playing musicand meeting new people:'
So don't miss Sarah Smith when she's
onstage in a town near you. And she will be.
(sarahsmithmusic.com) •
Busk or Bust
Queer indie films are now just a click away.
etflix, Hulu, Vudu, Amazon
Prime-sure,
there are plenty
of On Demand video services
out there, but now thanks to
BuskFilms' CEO and founder Andrea
Wing, we lezzies have one of our very own.
Since its creation two years ago, Busk has
been a rapidly growing global platform for
high-quality, independent lesbian, trans and
bisexual films-all for less than $5 a pop.
Backtrack to 2010. Video on demand
wasn't common, and online pay per view
was even scarcer. Andrea Wing was tired
of relentlessly searching for lesbian content
on the vast expanse of the Internet, with
the only fruits of her labor being YouTube
montages of movie and television scenes.
"I saw a gap in the market and it was
out of my frustration of trying to find
good lesbian content online;' says Wing.
"I was like, Where are all the shorts that
N
Bv ELIZABETH EsTocHEN
you see at festivals?"
Determined to address the dearth of
lesbian online viewing options she reached
out to friends who were programmers and
developers for logistical help. She also contacted filmmakers directly. Some jumped
on board immediately while others viewed
Wing with a certain amount of skepticism.
Or as Wing puts it, "There's this girl from
Vancouver randomly calling people and
saying, 'Trust me with your film, I'm going
to create this site!' So I think it was a bit of a
stretch for some filmmakers. Others totally
got what we were trying to do. I think they
understood my passion and my power, and
what I wanted to build. And in essence,
really serve the filmmaker:'
Serving the filmmaker is a priority for
Busk. "The idea is basically to work with
filmmakers from around the world, and
to make their content available for lesbians
online;' says Wing. ''And give filmmakers
an opportunity to not only screen their
work, but to make money:'
Wing's team searches all over the globe
for the hidden gems that deserve an audience. Their lead film scout, Mel Pritchard
from Melbourne, Australia, does the bulk
of the film hunting. Film festivals also play a
major role in finding and selecting content.
"There are some key festivals we attend that
we keep our eye on content: Frameline of
course, Outfest Berlin-and
Pritchard
obviously has a lot of ties with the queer film
festivals around the world;' Wing explains.
Various film festivals and Busk have
formed a symbiotic relationship. "We have
this reciprocal relationship with film festivals because they'll be like, 'Oh, I've never
heard of this film before: So oftentimes
film festivals will use our site as a resource
to bring content to their festivals;' says
JUNE
2013
CURVE
31
DVD
PICKS))
BYRACHEL
SHATTO
Face
2Face
(Wolfe
Vioeo)
Wing. "I never imagined we'd be in that role, but it's happened a couple
of times now:'
Busk is also unique in that they pay close attention and care to
appealing to their rapidly growing global audience. ''A lot of times
I think we get so North American~centric that we tend to fo get
there is content that exists outside of our domain. It was really
important for me to connect with that as well;' says Wing.
"We thought this was a great opportunity to give people access
to content that probably, in certain countries, it may not be easy or
safe to access or rent. We saw this as a way to reach these people who
maybe don't have the same freedom as we do in North America:'
Wing tells the story of one viewer, an Egyptian woman who previ~
ously had virtually no access to any lesbian content. "She contacted
me and said, 'These stories are exactly what I need to see: She told
me a little bit about her life and the secrecy she lives in, and she was
so thankful that there was this outlet she could access:'
Busk's audience ranges from Brazil to Sweden, Norway to
Egypt. Wing approximates that 50 to 60 percent of their total
library comes from outside North America. "It's amazing that the In~
ternet can allow for this global business to happen, but that's the
experience we're living:'
Of course, even with such an extensive audience, there are still
some misconceptions about BuskFilms and their content.
"Everyone's like, 'Where's the porn?' " Wing laughs. "We always
get that. When I'm describing this to anyone, the first question is
like, 'Oh, lesbian porn?' I'm like, No! Indie film! The words 'lesbian'
and 'film' in the same sentence can only mean one thing;' Wing says.
"Maybe one day we'll break out of that stereotype:' She pauses. ''And
then I'm like, Yeah totally, it's lesbian porn, and just roll with it for a
while:'
Busk's plans for the near future include launching a male version
of the website, street teams and scouts appearing at upcoming festivals
and San Francisco Pride, and an eventual shift to a subscription site.
Wing hopes to make connections with as many viewers and filmmak~
ers as possible. And so far, the interactions have proven positive.
"People generally are so excited when I tell them what Busk is and
what Busk does, and they're just like, 'Oh my god, it's like a Disney~
land for gays!'" Wing laughs. "That is so infectious. To have that
connection is golden for me, and keeps me motivated and true to
what I'm doing:' (buskfilms.com) •
32
CURVE
JUNE
2013
This lesbian-helmed documentary follows filmmaker
Katherine Brooks' (LovingAnnabelle)journey across
country to meet 50 of her Facebook friends face to
face. While the film encompasses 11,000 miles, the
real journey takes place within Brooks herself. We
witness everything from her failed suicide attempt,
to struggles with prescription drugs, a confession to
an estranged family member about a sexual assault
she survived, to her reunion with her first unrequited
love-who inspired the short film Dear Emily. For those
looking for something authentic and raw, this moving
documentary is sure to satisfy-not to mention tug at
the heartstrings. The only critique is that the in-depth
look at Brooks' emotional journey left little time to
explore the people she met. A longer cut, or second
documentary featuring more of her Facebook friends
would be a welcome addition.
Sexy
Evil
Genius
(lionsgate)
In this indie thriller Nikki-the titular sexy evil genius(played by Battlestar Galacticabombshell Katee
Sackoff) gathers several of her (living) exes together
at a bar for a night of drinks, memories and revenge.
Amongst her previous amours is Miranda, played by
Michelle Trachtenberg. Over the course of the night,
and several rounds of drinks, what begins as a lighthearted reunion becomes a mental game of cat and
mouse as it's revealed that Nikki, after murdering
her most recent ex, has been released early from a
hospital for the criminally insane. Is Nikki still crazy or
is this just part of a larger Machiavellian plan? While
the film does little to reinvent the thriller formula,
Sexy Evil Geniusis a light and quickly-paced romp
that's just tricky enough to keep its audience invested.
It's well worth a look, particularly if you're craving
more Sackoff. And really, who isn't?
REVIEWS/
Literary Latina
Being a queer punk rock girl in a Cuban family presents unique
challenges. av TINA vAsouEz
aised in Miami by a house full
of Latinas, artist, writer and
musician Cristy C. Road understands the distinct pain that
comes from loving-and being loved byfamily members whose "traditional" values
not only make you afraid, but ashamed of
your sexuality. The 30-year-old Homewreckers front woman has been publishing
her own artwork since 1997, much of
it touching on her love of punk rock and
her intersecting queer and Cuban identities. After three illustrated publications, all
biographical in nature, Road is back with
Spit and Passion,which details her pained
adolescence as a secretly queer girl obsessed
with Green Day. Road's latest is stunning
and sure to touch a chord for anybody who
grew up with a heart that beat for punk
rock. Road, who toured with the all queer
literary show Sister Spit in the spring,
R
recently took the time to talk about her artwork and the lack of visibility for people of
color in queer communities:
Why do you think punk and Green Day
struck such a chord with you?
A friend at school told me about Green
Day and other punk bands, but Green Day
was the poppy, upbeat fix that I needed.
I was into random theatrical music, like
Aerosmith, Queen, Broadway musicals and
some hip hop and dance music, but upon
discovering my sexuality and feeling isolated,
Green Day was refreshing because they had
a really gay-positive political agenda I could
relate to. I also fell madly in love with their
choruses, harmonies and lyrics.
What's not really discussed in Spit and
Passion is your drawing and whether
or not art was a saving grace. When
and how did you realize your talent for
drawing?
BOOKS
I started drawing when I was little. I
remember being 4 years old and drawing
a lot of my favorite female Latin pop stars,
like Veronica Castro. Then I would draw
whatever my fixation was: The Muppets,
Star Trek, Ren and Stimpy. As I discovered
punk and my own alienation, I started
making art about my beliefs, as opposed to
just portraits of my favorite cartoon characters. There were a lot of pig-head figures
in the White House and a lot of punks
fighting cops. This flourished into what I
do now, clearly.
When writing Spit and Passion or any
of your other illustrated books, was it
difficult to revisit the past and examine how it shaped the person you are
today?
I think I waited long enough for it to not
be too painful. Coming out in my early
20s really broke down the wall between
my queer community and my Cuban community, which enabled me to articulate
the alienation I felt with hope and fervor.
Of course it was hard. I hashed out years
of hurtful language and anger, so tapering
it down to a package that was accessible
was emotionally draining. Existing as queer
in my cultural community can still be
intense, but the sad moments ended up
being empowering.
It was refreshing to read about the challenges of being queer in a traditional
Latino family. Do you feel that people of
color are equally represented in queer
communities?
No, I think we have to fend for our story
to be heard and I think our stories aren't as
present in communities we overlap with.
I've felt honored to be able to tell my story,
but at the same time I have spent a billion
years publishing my own work and putting
it out into the world whether or not people
wanted to see it. Still, this has totally lent to
being shut down by predominantly white
communities who didn't want race to put
a damper on their "radical punk" or "radical
queer" circles. Don't get me wrong; there is
love and support out there. I just think that
the experience of being out and proud and
the experience of shooting a middle finger
to the culture that attacked your gay identity is very sought after, but I don't relate
to that. I am Latina and I don't want to give
JUNE
2013
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33
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a middle finger to the culture that attacked
my identity. I want to fix that fracture and
that is difficult and it's a less romantic route
to queer acceptance.
You started out by publishing your
Green Day fanzine Green zine, but
when did you begin to consider building a career out of your artwork and
stories?
I was 17 when I realized I wanted to dedicate
my whole life to making art and music in the
punk rock community and that vision hasn't
really changed. I've always wanted to com~
municate anger or frustration or triumph
through art or music. My projects were
received well, so that always urged me to
continue making them.
Have you ever questioned your career
path or focus as an artist?
When I was younger I had periods where I
would feel lost about sustaining my art, but
some weird turn of events would always
push me in the right direction. In 2007 I
was having a weird time about the direction
my art was going in, and then I was asked to
go on the Sister Spit Tour by Michelle Tea.
This experience totally changed my life and
urged me to do what I love, as opposed to
what is 100 percent marketable or sustain~
able. The veteran Sister Spit artists on that
tour-Eileen Myles, Michelle Tea, Annie
Oakley and Ali Liebegott-really showed
me that you can grow and still be true to
your punk upbringing at the same time.
If you could go back in time, what
would you say to the young, closeted
Cristy we meet in Spit and Passion?
I would tell her to keep questioning the
government and the morality of everyone
at school. I'd tell her to keep loving her
new punk universe like there's no tomor~
row because the likeminded people will
come around sophomore year-and if you
have to sneak the punk clothes in your
backpack, that's just what you need to do.
(croadcore.com) •
EDITOR'S
PICK»
BYRACHEL
PEPPER
Damn
Love
Jasmine
Beacn-~errera
(lgPuolisning)
On YQUr
PC/MAC
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It's no wonder that Jasmine Beach-Ferrera's first collection of short stories,
DamnLove, has been marinating for some time. Her work has been published
in the BellevueLiterarv Review and the Baltimore Review, and "Hit Me," a story
in this collection, was listed in the Other Distinguished Stories section of the annual
Best American Short Stories in 2008. But Beach-Ferrera (the recipient of a
2010 NEA Literature Fellowship) has interests that are not
just literary: She also holds a divinity degree from Harvard
and is currently the director of the Campaign for Southern
Equality, a grassroots LGBT advocacy organization based
in Asheville, N.C.
DamnLovefocuses on characters living in the South
and in the San Francisco Bay Area. Central to the collection are three childhood friends, Peter, Keisha and Alex,
around whose lives these stories orbit. Peter, a gay man
ostracized by his parents, discovers that the mother who skipped his wedding
in "Different Paths, Same Woods" needs his help in "American Martyr." As adults,
Alex and Keisha lead very different lives, but they are bound by their inexplicable
and enduring childhood love. Beach-Ferrera subtly captures both the connections and the conflicts between people: gays and straights, parents and children,
addicts and healers. Her skill lies in juxtaposing her characters' Southern-gothic
memories of childhood, such as those portrayed in "Custody Bus," with their
more mundane concerns as adult LGBT people. Whether they are receiving
medical treatment, walking around the Castro, contemplating military enlistment,
or even just recalling "a restaurant on Church that charged $20 for a plate of
meatloaf," Beach-Ferrera's characters poignantly explore their humanity while
coping with universal themes of grief, loss and desire.
~Lfrvt:!'
~
get you rs today.
curvemag.com
Want to see your pet here? We'd love to meet them, too.
Visit curvemag.com/satisfied for details.
REVIEWS/
TECH
Lean and Lovely Laptop
The skinny on the ultra-thin Acer Aspire S7 notebook.
omputers can be described as a
lot of things-powerful,
versatile, ultra-portable-but
rarely if
ever do you hear one referred to
as attractive. More seldom still will you find a
notebook that's both good-looking and capable,
but that's exactly what Acer's Aspire S7 brings
to the table (or lap, or airplane's seat back tray).
In other words, much like Acer spokeswoman
and bisexual bombshell Megan Fox, the Aspire
is equal parts pretty and powerful.
Clad in nearly unbreakable white glass, the
aluminum Aspire S7 is incredibly thin and
incredibly light. Its all-metal keyboard emits
a subtle blue glow in low-light conditions and
its multitude of ports and jacks are almost
unnoticeable until you need them. The whole
thing is so low profile you could probably put
it in a manila envelope, but thankfully it comes
with a form-fitting sleeve that's as minimal as
the machine itself. Which is welcome news for
queer gals who find they're frequently working
while on the go.
Once you get beyond just how good looking the Aspire S7 is, you'll find an extremely
competent ultrabook computer that can handle anything you throw at it with ease, from
office to lifestyle applications and even cuttingedge games. It comes loaded with Windows 8,
and while Microsoft's latest operating system
may seem a bit off-putting at first, it's made
C
eY RANDY NELSON
infinitely more usable by the S7's touchscreen.
This full HD, widescreen display allows you to
use the computer much like you would a tablet,
with the added benefit of a full keyboard and
trackpad for when you want to get traditional.
Whether you're browsing the web, playing a game or watching a movie, the screen is
downright stunning, with vivid color and a
high resolution that makes reading text very
easy on the eyes. The screen is paired with stereo speakers that are powered by Dolby audio,
meaning that the computer sounds as good as
it looks.
Another great feature is the solid-state
drive, which takes the place of a traditional
hard disk. Not only is it completely quiet and
nearly immune to damage from sudden movements or falls, but it's several times faster too,
meaning that all your files will open in an
instant-perfect
for on-the-go use when you
need quick access to your information.
The Aspire S7 doesn't have a DVD-ROM
drive, however, so if that's something you regularly use you'll need to either get an external
one or make the switch to USB thumb drives.
That's just one small concession for what is
otherwise a very well thought out machine.
So, if you're a mobile-minded lady who's been
looking for a computer that's equal parts powerful and aesthetically pleasing, we really can't
recommend the S7 more highly. (acer.com)•
$100
PP OFF
when you mention
"CURVE'
imi Gonzalez grew up in inner-city Detroit and now
spends 46 weeks a year on the road, performing
comedy. When she's not traveling, home is a walnut
farm on five and a half acres in rural Michigan. She got
her start in 1987 when she was a finalist for a "Funniest
Person on Wall Street" segment on the Today show. She didn't win,
but the success propelled her to keep pursuing her dream to work full
time as a stand up comic. Curve caught up with Gonzalez just as she
was finishing her seventh season in Provincetown, Mass.
What are your favorite things about
Provincetown?
Women's Week, because it's the pot of gold
at the end of the dirty rainbow. There are
so many women, you can't even get to flyer
all of them. I like all the women's activities,
like Girl Splash, Memorial Day Weekend,
and Women of Color Weekend. Those are
my favorite parts of P-town. And of course
the beautiful environment.
I'm a Pisces and Cuban, I love to swim
and I'm really good at it, so I love the
beaches. I also love the sense of gay community. In P-town, I have friendships with
my gay brothers and the girls. P-town is
like connective tissue between the cells of
my gay body and the skin of what I present to the world.
What keeps you going as a comic?
I've been a professional comic on the road
for 14 years now. What keeps me going is
the hardest thing that there is to do and
that's trying to break new material. You've
got your "Pt material, you know what
works, and you lean on it. Creating new
material is stepping out into the unknown
and having my audience go with me.
For example, I threw some political stuff
in last night and they just shut down. They
did not want to hear it. They just wanted
to hear something bawdy and playful and
silly and they didn't want to talk about the
election. All right, back to it. And then the
audience came right back with me. That's
a crazy feeling, to have the audience in
your hand and watch them sift like sand,
and then have to go back and pick that up
again and hold it the right way, so it doesn't
leave you.
So breaking new material is a little
hard, but new material is the only thing
that makes it worth doing, because it
makes you feel fresh.
That's why comedy is an art and not
a science. You can't replicate your results
every time. Something could just fall out
of your mouth and just kill them that you
had no idea you were going to say.
The first time I ever told this joke
about Kansas being so full of nothing but
wheat that when you drive through your
eyes get a yeast infection, that came flying
out of my mouth on stage. It's a great joke,
but I had no idea where it came from.
Some nights are so magical, you are flying. You are in the stratosphere of flight.
And that's interesting for a Pisces to say.
So, you're really into the Zodiac ...
I'm into the Zodiac. I'm into animalismmeaning "things of the earth" -and natural
references. I'm in love with the earth.
I just performed a wedding for two
friends of mine and I wrote some really
beautiful things that I think are going to be
the ideal for what I want in a partner and
in a relationship. God knows, I am chronically single. I don't want to be. I want a
healthy relationship, but I really can't fake
it. You might be able to fake some things,
but you can't fake love. I'm old enough, I
recognize that everybody has baggage, and
we're just looking for someone whose luggage matches our set.
At my age, I expect you to have just one
piece of baggage, and it better fit under the
seat in front of you. Or neatly in the overhead compartment, where I can't see it until
it's time to get off the flight. God help us
if we get off this love flight and we have to
go to baggage claim and you need a Sherpa
for all your shit. Because I am not carrying
it. I'm gonna get my own cab out of here.
What does it mean to be a
stealth butch?
It means to be a butch with long
hair. That's it. And if you're a
femme, you recognize the way
I talk and the way I walk, and
who I am is your butch complement, ready to escort you, my
darling. I like the girly-girls.
What was it like playing for
the troops?
That audience over there is one
of the most grateful audiences
ever. First of all, they're a captive audience. I rarely get to play for a room full
of people with guns, because I don't play
for my hometown of Detroit very often. I
am a bleeding-heart liberal. The last thing
I believe in is war. Least of all, an unjustified war like Iraq. But I've been to Iraq
twice and Afghanistan once and what's
out there are working-class people, a lot
of them young, who thought they were
helping their country, who wanted to do
anything they could after 9 / 11. There are
a lot of straight guys in the audience and I
do jokes to make them happy. Invariably, I
end up selling a lot of those straight guys
my"Trained by a Lesbian"T-shirt. So I am
doing my part for lesbian visibility by putting the word "lesbian" on thousands of
men's chests. We give them a show, they
are so happy to have something different and a taste of home. They love it, and
they're happy. It's just one way of giving
back just a little. (mimigonzalez.com) •
C ~CH MOREOUttER
QUE'~NSOF O9~E0Y
THIS~~I0EI kOM
SAN IA C CJZTO
NORTH~PTON,
THE QUEENSARE
COMING TO A TOWN
NEARYOU GO TO
POPPYCHAMPLIN
COM
JUNE
2013
CURVE
39
Actor, model, film
and TV producer,
and insta-mom
Tracy Ryerson on
.
her newest proJect.
By Jenny Block
40
CURVE
JUNE
2013
mous
he next time you're tempted to throw up your hands and
say "I'm too busy," you should take a look at Tracy Ryerson's
schedule. Though she's probably best known for her stint
on season one of Showtime's The Real L Word, Ryerson
is a TV personality, an actor, a film and television producer, a
podcaster and an insta-mom to her partner's three children. She
lives in L.A. and loves her work, both in front of and behind the
camera. But most of all she's loving her work at home.
Ryerson's most recent role as an actor is in Kiss Her I'm Famous,
a web series released on tellofilms.com in March. She has also
appeared in DJ Lubel's controversial music video "Women of LA;'
as well as in the first-ever LGBT-focused commercial for Lexus.
Behind the camera, Ryerson works in development, previously for
film and now for TV.
When Ryerson began dating Stamie Karakasidis, just three
months before The Real L Word began taping, Karakasidis had
three children: Jagger, 8, and Nikos and Dautry, 6. Ryerson became
a parent overnight.
"It came extremely naturally;' says Ryerson. "I find it easier to
deal with the kids than Stamie sometimes. It was oddly simple, and
it still is:'
Ryerson says she never really felt that she might have to walk
away from the relationship because three kids were part of the
equation. In fact, she says,'Tm still waiting for that to hit me. About
a year in, I was like, 'Whoa, this is four hearts that could be broken
if we break up:"
But breaking up doesn't seem to be anywhere in the picture. In
fact, Ryerson says she wouldn't mind having some kids of her own
and loves spending every minute she can with Jagger, Nikos and
Dautry. "They're awesome. They're growing up so fast. I don't want
to miss anything:'
As to whether the two-mommy thing is any big deal for the kids,
Ryerson says that it's simply not an issue. "They have a ton of love:'
However, for Ryerson and Karakasidis the legal recognition of
same-sex unions is a very big deal. They vehemently support marriage equality.
"It's a civil right, more than anything. People should have the
right to love and marry anyone they choose. [Being legally married] is especially important [when couples have] children. It's
unreal to me that it hasn't been passed. It's mind-boggling. It's an
important right:'
Although Ryerson loves being on screen, being in a reality show
was never at the top of her list. "My roommate at the time had
applied to be on the show and she applied for both of us. Producers
and promoters put my name in the hat too. But I wasn't planning to
do it. I didn't think it would mesh very well with work:' Even after
being offered a place on the show, Ryerson declined at first. She said
she had to "let it marinate:'
Ultimately, she said yes and has no regrets about her choice.
"It was definitely different, and it's hard to explain if you haven't
done it yoursel£ You have this immediate family, and sometimes family doesn't
get along. It was a fun ride, a really cool
positive step in our lives. You just have to
know what comes along with it, and I feel
like I have my head on straight:'
The best part about the modicum of
fame she has achieved is that it has provided her with a platform. "People listen
to you, and hopefully you use it for good;'
she says. As to the message she'd like to
get out there, that's an easy one. "Don't
judge a book by its cover. One of the reasons I did The Real L Word
was to get the message out that you can be feminine and gay:'
That's certainly something viewers will get from Kiss Her I'm
Famous, as well. Ryerson says she loved the challenge of shooting
the web series, not only because her character, who is insecure and
often angry, is different from who she really is, but because the
shooting schedule was intense, five episodes in just five days, when
a 30-second commercial can often take up to 12 hours to shoot.
The first season of Kiss Her I'm Famous was funded virally, and
the possibility of a second season is already in discussion. The plot
centers on the characters trying to cash in on fame by making a sex
tape. Ryerson is excited to see how the dramedy is received.
As for what's next, Ryerson says that she's had a book in the
works for a while now. "I started doing the book after The Real L
Word. It's really about being an insta-mom. How do you change
a diaper? How do you get along with an ex? There's no guidebook for that. The problem is that people kept seeing it as a
gay book. And it's not:' It's for anyone and everyone who's in an
insta-parent situation.
Also in the works is another reality TV show. "I can't talk about
it yet;' she says, "but it's gay:' In the meantime, she'll continue to
work in TV development, and continue to audition. "Clearly, my
niche is playing the young straight mom;' she laughs. "I don't tell
them [I'm gay] till I get on set:'•
JUNE
2013
CURVE
41
AQUEER
ARCHITECT
FROM
ASMALL
TOWN
ISBLOWING
AWAY
THEFASHION
WORLD
WITH
HER
GUTSY
DESIGNS.
BY ELIZABETH ESTOCHEN // PHOTOS BY PAMU
ok at the daring and structured designs of Chromat,
d you'd likely never guess they came from the mind
undation of the for
. Her cage pieces and strappy
nned by celebrities and fashionies, Grimes and Nicki Minaj. She
ostumes for Beyonce's backup
Super Bowl performance, and has
McCharen started Chromat as an after-hours
project in 2008, after working as a seamstress for the
drama department of the University of Virginia. She
began showcasing her garments through self-planned
fashion shows, and with the aid of ex-girlfriend Emily
Kappes, birthed the Chromat baby we know and love
today. After a few experimental seasons in Virginia,
Chromat took off with orders in New York City.
Chromat has an eye-catching, experimental quality that is both androgynous and sexy. Some designs
accentuate and exaggerate the female figure, while
others remain gender neutral and can be worn by
anyone. "Construction of gender is definitely something we think about when designing pieces," says
McCharen. "Chromat wearers are bold, confident and
like to stand out. I love that so many amazing queer
and queer supporters have worn Chromat." That they
have. Her pieces have even been photographed on the
queen of androgyny himself, Serbian-Australian model
Andrej Pejic.
Not only do McCharen's designs appeal to the
growing androgynous community, they also target and
draw from powerful women who aren't afraid to kick
a little ass. The Spring/Summer 2013 Riot Box collection features leather straps, pentagram chest patterns
and lots of black and navy to capture the essence of
badass women like the Guerilla Girls, Riot Grrrls and Joan Jett.
Pull on a Lycra one-piece or a leather harness, and you'll be
ready to go punch patriarchy in the face.
While she might be a rarity as a queer female couturier,
McCharen has no qualms about her place in the fashion world.
"I do feel like a bit of a minority in fashion, as it can feel like the
fashion world is generally inhabited by straight girls and gay
guys," says McCharen. "But there are definitely growing scenes
in New York City based around androgynous fashion, like
Veer and Mari macho." McCharen also claims the community
of designers where she is now definitely shows support. "It's
been amazing to meet so many awesome creative people in
New York City that are also doing interesting things in fashion,"
she says. "It has definitely gone against the stereotypes of
exclusive, snobby fashionista types that I think mainstream
media regurgitates."
Right now, McCharen is working on Chromat's Spring/
Summer 2014 collection, making its big debut at the 2014 New
York Fashion Week in September. As for the future, McCharen
says she'd "love to see Chromat continue to evolve into a
fashion empire centered around experimental material investigations." She adds, "I'd also really love to work with Bjork."
Call us biased, but we'll take a pentagram swimsuit over
a dress made out of a giant swan any day.
(chromatgarments.com) •
PULLON A
LYCRAONEPIECEORA
LEATHER
HARNESS
ANDYOU'LL
BEREADYTO
GOPUNCH
PATRIARCHY
IN THE FACE.
013
CURVE
45
The Butch Clothing
Company; Tomboy
Tailors (bottom left)
46
CURVE
JUNE
2013
SUITUP!
THE
TREND
INMENSWEAR
FOR
WOMEN
ISTAKING
OFF.
BY CELESTE LECOMPTE
When Jen Zak was preparing for Her wedding last year, she turned
to Nordstrom to buy a uit. Sure, the big-name retailer had a wide
selection but 0st impolitand , it offered free alterations. The 34y:ear-old buta& lesbian kn w 'rom years of experience that when
you're shop ing men's suits, Iterations are required. She bought a
navx blue lmen vest and pants from the online store. But the alterations equired an in-person visit.
"I can't remember\. more degrading experience;' recalls Zak.
"I had to get the pants tailored and also have the bust fixed on my
vest. Not one but two 'alterations experts' had to be brought in.
They fussed over how putting in darts would ruin the 'design' of the
suit. All of this was done in a busy dressing room where other men
were getting fitted as well;' she says."lt was embarrassing and painful.
I was getting this for the best day of my life, a celebration, and it left
me feeling like a weirdo, an outcast, second rate:'
Her story is all too familiar. But thanks to a handful of new
companies, menswear is getting a gender-bending overhaul that
could make it easier for many lesbians and transmen to find suits
that fit and feel good.
SEE AND BE SEEN
Mary Going is among those providing better products and better
customer service for butches and other lesbians who are on the
masculine end of the spectrum. Her company, Saint Harridan,
launched this winter with a bang. The company's Kickstarter
campaign blew past Going's original goal of $87,000, raising more
than $137,000 toward its first run of ready-to-wear suits, shirts
and accessories, all featuring men's styles tailored to accommodate female figures. Lesbians have long wished for companies like
these to exist, and now is their moment.
Going attributes this to the growing visibility of queer women
in culture. As gays and lesbians have gained more rights and more
cultural acceptance, we're seeing a shift in our ability to safely
explore sexuality and gender presentation in public ways. "Clothing
might seem superficial, but it is a way to explore and express
identity;' she says.
High-profile celesbians like Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel
Maddow have paved the way for the growth of this trend. Ellen's
boyish wardrobe is practically a featured guest on her daytime
show, and her distinctively lesbian style attracts enormous attention and fandom. Several of the new suit-makers say that "the
Ellen suit"-referring
to the white Zac Posen suit in which she
married Portia de Rossi-is one of their most in-demand styles.
But Ellen's status as a style icon isn't just about her. It's about
the mainstream visibility she's brought to lesbians who are looking
for options outside traditional feminine fashion. "Visibility is
creating more room for people to try things;' says Going. "It's a
virtuous cycle:•
POWER SUITS
Visibly queer women are increasingly found in the ranks of whitecollar professions like law, business and politics, where suits are
the norm.
"For me, wearing suits is not about my gender identity, but
about my attorney identity;' one 26-year-old lawyer told me."When
I wear a suit, people treat me differently. I do not want to be mistaken for a paralegal or a secretary, so, as a woman, it is even more
important that I immediately appear as 'lawyer' when people look
at me, and wearing a nice suit is essential to that identity:'
While casual wear for men and women has become less differentiated over the years, suits are still strongly differentiated along
gender lines. Women's suits typically feature deep necklines, pleats,
fake pockets, contrast stitching, short jackets, flared cuts and hiphugging pants. For many potential customers, these details are deal
breakers. "Women's suits aren't appealing because I'm not interested in the stylistic conventions that mark them as 'for the ladiez;"
says mk Eagle, a 29-year-old butch librarian in Boston.
Shaz Riley worked in the corporate world as a project manager
before founding The Butch Clothing Company in 2009. "I used to
have to wear smart clothes and suits. I don't wear feminine or girl
clothes at all, so I was forced to go buy men's clothes;' she says. "I
always suspected I wasn't alone:'
The same was true for Melissa Millan, creator of the Androgyny line of professional button-down shirts. A former investment
banker turned entrepreneur, Millan wanted to design clothing that
inspires personal confidence."For me, it's having more androgynous
clothing that fits me, that I feel comfortable and confident in:'
COST CONCERNS
Cost is a hurdle that many of the young companies worry about,
despite their early signs of success. Menswear is, across the board,
more expensive than women's clothing. The difference, many in the
business say, is that men are expected to own and wear fewer items.
The focus is on quality and durability, rather than on high-turnover
styles and a new look daily.
"Many men may have one to three suits, which they can wear
with five shirts and different ties;' explains Going. "There's an
acknowledgment that men are going to wear a few things many
times. Because of that, they can invest in high-quality things:'
The result is hefty price tags: Saint Harridan's line of readyto-wear suits is among the most competitively priced. A two-piece
retails at $625, and a three-piece suit rings up at $810. That's more
than many off-the-rack men's suits, but it's far below the custom
tailored options. A made-to-measure
suit from The Butch
Clothing Company, based in London, can cost between $1,000 and
$1,300-and
up to $2,000 for a three-piece set with a shirt. The
average price of a suit from Duchess, Clothier is between $2,000
JUNE
2013
CURVE
47
The Butch Clothing Company
(clockwise from left);
Fourteen; The Butch Clothing
Company; Tomboy Tailors;
Her Tuxedo
FORMAL ALLY:
HER TUXEDO
This exclusively online, family-owned
company was inspired by the progress of
marriage equality and the prediction that
lesbian couples would want affordable
formal wear for their weddings. Tailored to
fit the female form, Her Tuxedo features
classic pants with satin stripe, a subtle satin
finish on jacket lapels, and the body is cut to
accommodate female curves. The suits and
accessories are designed and manufactured
exclusively for Her Tuxedo, which is now
in the process of introducing a greater
size range (sizes 4 through 20) by the fall.
Additional sizes for shirts and waistcoats
will come next year together with a wider
range of tuxedo colors. Her Tuxedo offers a
detailed size chart and returns policy.
48
CURVE
JUNE
2013
IIlGHPROFILE
CELESBIANS
LIKEELLEN
DEGENERES
ANDRACHEL
MADDO'W
HAVEPAVED
THE'WAY
FOR1'HE
GRO'WTHOF
THISTREND.
and $3,000, with an extra
$200 or more for a custom
shirt. Androgyny's readyto-wear button downs will
set buyers back $125.
The wedding market,
where customers are more
likely to take the plunge on
a big-ticket item, is certainly
driving sales. Bernadette
Smith, whose company, 14
Stories, has helped plan
hundreds of gay weddings
over the years, says one of
the biggest challenges for lesbian couples is what to wear. In a
survey of 500 newlyweds and engaged gay couples, she found
that 58 percent of lesbian couples had at least one partner who
wore-or planned to wear-a suit or tux on the big day. Where
to find it was the challenge. Smith's solution was Fourteen, a
line of ready-to-wear suits sold online. (Most ensembles cost
under $1,000.)
Duchess, which specializes in bespoke suits for both men and
women, has seen its business grow 30 percent each year, with a
sizeable portion of that growth in custom suits for weddings, both
gay and straight. When the company started, eight years ago, it had
just one or two women customers each year. Today, queer weddings
make up approximately 20 percent of its business, according to Ariel
Arrow, who heads up design.
SERVICE MAKES THE SALE
Ian M., a 36-year-old butch dyke who has worn suits regularly
since her first job, is skeptical about such prices. Ian says she has
regularly acquired nice brand-name suits for between $200 and
$300. ''Any price over that, it has to be the latest in high fashion
from Paris or Milan for me to consider it;' she says.
Department stores such as Nordstrom and Macy's offer a wide
range of off-the-rack options (many of them sold online), and often
provide free or low-cost alterations with purchase. The key to making
these kinds of suits work, Ian says, is asking for help.
"My advice to any female-bodied person looking for a suit is
to leverage all the insights and experience the salespeople have;'
she says.
After a few awkward experiences of being ignored by salespeople, or feeling unwelcome, Ian decided to ask for help. "I went
up to the salesman and said,Tm looking to buy my first suit. I need
advice on finding an affordable suit that fits me;" she recalls. "You
know what? They loved it. By stating what I was looking for, it
opened the door to the conversation, and they were able to treat me
like any other customer. There are a lot of men out there who have
no idea how to find a suit that fits them either:'
While Ian's advice may offer comfort for some, others want
more than functional acceptance. They want a company that
"gets it:' This year's upstart clothiers are hoping they can offer
that experience. "There are so many situations where you don't
get good customer service;' says Mary Going. "It only takes a
couple events to set you up for that anxiety. I want to remove
that anxiety. You want a place where you don't have to worrywhere you feel wanted and validated:' •
IF THE SHOE FITS ...
The Internet has helped fuel the boom in companies
making traditional menswear for queer customers. Most
of the new companies are selling their products on line.
The Butch Clothing Co. recently introduced Skype
fitting sessions for customers who can't make it to
London for an appointment. Crowdfunding platforms
like Kickstarter and lndieGoGo have been a critical tool
for raising startup funds and proving market demand.
But while the new on line stores are a first shot across
the bow of the traditional menswear market, many companies (and their potential customers) are eager to see
physical retail shops appear.
"I feel in myself and other people a craving for legitimization/validation," says Saint Harridan founder Mary
Going. "If we had a place where people could come and
feel like, 'I'm not a freak here,' it would be a wonderful
haven for people." Saint Harridan will launch a traveling
pop-up store this year to let customers try on its readyto-wear suits and accessories. A retail store will follow, if
the company meets its sales goals.
Retail has its challenges, to be sure: keeping
inventory stocked (how many suits, shoes or shirts,
and in which sizes?}, paying rent, paying retail staff
and attracting customers are among the top concerns.
But having a physical location can also help boost a
brand's visibility and give potential buyers a hands-on
experience with product.
San Francisco-based Tomboy Tailors started with
a brick-and-mortar approach. The brainchild of Zel
Anders, Tomboy Tailors makes made-to-measure suits
for butch and transmasculine women, and provides a
home for other specialty goods aimed at its audience:
small-size mens' dress shoes, Androgyny's buttondown shirts, and bowties and other accessories. Anders
says Tomboy Tailors did $7,000 in sales in its first week.
The ground-floor shop is located inside the Crocker
Galleria, a downtown shopping center that's looking to
renovate its image with a farmers market and new, entrepreneurial tenants. There's a grand piano at the front,
and a small bar along the back wall.
At its grand opening in February, the room was
jammed with the noisy hubbub of butch and boyish
lesbians, sipping champagne and admiring each other's
dapper party attire. Bow ties, vests and tweed were the
most popular style choices of the day. As one attendee
put it: "It was great to see all those butches out in style."
JUNE
2013
CURVE
49
I
l
TOGAY
CONVERSION
THEORY
Are straight women really three drinks away
from gay? BY TEMMA EHRENFELD
I
t happens every now and again: A woman who has always
been with men wants to sleep with you. Could this be for
real? When Katy Perry sang "I Kissed a Girl;' stealing her
tide from a 1995 indie hit by Jill Sobule, lots of girls sang
along-right next to their boyfriends. Some pretty young things
even kiss and pet in straight bars, while straight couples in the
swinger scene heat up their sex lives with wife~on~wife action or
MFF threesomes. So, how many straight women are actually really
interested in other women as lovers-or, to put it another way,
what does it mean when people cross the orientation lines? Science
50
CURVE
JUNE 2013
is chipping in with some answers.
The pioneer sex researcher Alfred Kinsey and his team based
their theories on evidence from interviews conducted in the late
1940s. When they asked people about their fantasies and their
actual behavior, they kept hearing that over a lifetime some people's
sexual histories showed quite a bit of line crossing. To quote the
current website of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, the
team found that "sexual behavior, thoughts and feelings toward the
same or opposite sex was not always consistent across time:'To sort
that out, Kinsey came up with a scale that attempted to measure
where people stood on a continuum from gay to straight.
Then came the gay civil rights movement, dominated by gay
men and their reports of a powerful biological drive aimed entirely
at men. Politics, even rainbow politics, works better in black and
white: The movement took the position that people fit into one
of three groups-gay, straight or bi-and dismissed any shades
of gray. Some dismissed bisexuality, decreeing that anyone who
identified as bi was "really" gay or straight.
Over in the scientific camp, the evidence Kinsey had tried to
address with his scale wasn't studied for decades. But recently, the
psychologist Robert Epstein, a former editor of PsychologyToday,
has argued that Kinsey was right. Sexual orientation, he says, is a
continuum and most people fall somewhere in the middle, which
means they "experience some degree of same-sex attraction at
some point in their lives:' Epstein, who has collected online survey responses from more than 17,000 respondents around the
world, says that their answers match the Katy Perry phenomenon:
Women report more same-sex attraction than men do and more
flexibility in expressing their desires.
Cal State Fullerton psychologist Richard Lippa didn't just ask
survey questions: He had men and women who consider themselves heterosexual rate their attraction to pictures of models
in swimsuits. He also tracked the time they spent looking at the
photos. Separately, he asked other participants to rank the models
according to how attractive they were by societal standards. As predicted, the men were keener on the female models and spent more
time looking at them. The women, on the other hand, said they
were attracted to both male and female models, and they spent
more time looking at the most attractive models, whether they
were male or female. In another study, Lippa looked at how libido
matched up with bisexual activity when he analyzed results from
online surveys created by a team of psychologists for the BBC One
television series Secrets of the Sexes. The results seemed to show that
lustier women are more bi. "There may be some degree of latent
same-sex attraction in most women;' Lippa says. "In women with
high sex drives, this latent attraction can be energized:'
The Kinsey interviews found changes in sexual desires over
time-but not a lot of people with a continuous attraction to both
genders. It's possible that just as people's libidos can change, so can
the object of their desires. A woman may get more into women
when she's feeling especially hot. (Or not.)
University of Utah psychologist Lisa Diamond reports that
women may feel drawn to women for years then switch to menor vice versa. And sometimes they come to feel that their response
has nothing to do with gender, she reports. As one woman she
studied put it, "Deep down, it's just a matter of who I meet and fall
in love with:'
Diamond has been following 100 women who described themselves as lesbian, bisexual or "unlabeled" since 1995, when they
were in their 20s, interviewing them every two or three years. At
each point, she says, 25 to 32 percent of the group changed their
sexual identity, and the switchers were not the same people. The
most popular change was to "unlabeled;' which Diamond says
supports her fluidity thesis. Nearly 80 percent of the sample had
changed their sexual identity at least once by 2009, up from the
two-thirds she reported when she published her book, Sexual
Fluidity: Understanding Womens Love and Desire. "Six years after
[writing] the book, the data holds up;' she told me.
Things get even more complex when scientists look at the female
physiological response. Studies that try to measure response independent of awareness-through
eye tracking, brain scans and
genital arousal-find
that the female "sexual response is nonspecific;' psychologist Meredith Chivers reported in her 2010 review of
the research since 2005. Straight women, for example, will respond
as much to a picture of a woman masturbating as to a picture of
a man, whereas heterosexual men (and lesbians) prefer photos of
women. In Chivers's own research, from the University of Toronto,
she and her colleagues found that women of all sexual orientations
could be aroused by a range of images, including male-male, malefemale, and female-female pornography.
Of course, this doesn't mean that women will actually sleep with
other women."We don't know the links between desire and behavior;' she told me. "There are a lot of leaps in between:' Interestingly,
women's statements about their sexual arousal and their measured
physiological responses match up less neatly than men's, and some
research suggests a link from the mismatch to sexual dysfunction.
To boil that down, women's sexual responses are complex, and they
themselves don't always know what they like.
So love confuses us, and love changes. The big fear about dating
a woman with a bisexual history is that she'll leave you for a man.
It happens. I knew a lesbian who fled her native Mumbai after a
painful breakup with a woman who had left her for a man. They
had been living together for four years."The sex was great;' she says.
"We were happy. She left me because in India I couldn't give her
what she wanted, a marriage and family:' Another woman I metcall her Dina-told
me about the most passionate sex of her life.
Her lover, a woman, left her to marry a man. She couldn't understand it: Wasn't her lover a lesbian? When they were together, she
had expressed no attraction to men.
Diamond has a theory to explain these stories: Attraction,
romance and identity are separate psychological functions. Dina's
lover was capable of attraction and love for both genders, at different points in her life, but ultimately wanted a heterosexual identity.
Women also choose lesbian identities. A friend I've known since
we were teens-call her Jessica-had only heterosexual relationships before she decided in her mid-20s to "do the lesbian thing;'
she says. When she met a lesbian visiting her rural area for a
weekend conference, they decided on the spot to live together. She
bought a house and her new lover moved in. They held a large marriage ceremony and built a tight-knit lesbian circle around a weekly
spiritual group. But the relationship went awry and she sought
out sexual affairs with local men. When, in her 30s, she fell for a
man, she was less afraid of losing her companion than her beloved
community. Now, at 51,Jessica has a happy and monogamous relationship with a woman, and she pushes aside the occasional male
fantasy. "I don't think I'd find a man who I was that emotionally
drawn to;' she says.
I know of another woman-call
her Carol-who
married in
her 20s in order to have children. When her husband asked
for a divorce, Carol fell head over heels for the first woman she
slept with, a woman who also had a long marriage in her past. Like
Jessica, Carol has fantasies about sex with men, yet she's still blissful about her partner 10 years later. If she were ever alone again,
she says she'd probably stay alone. "I can imagine having sex with a
man;' she says, "but who wants to live with one?''
These stories fit with the complexity of the emerging biochemical data on love and desire. In this new understanding, romancethe butterflies, the obsession, the euphoria-is linked to the neurotransmitter dopamine. Let's call that Dopey. Lust is associated
with testosterone, or Testy, and then there's Oxy, or oxytocin, which
makes us bond and feel like family. (Blame the U-Haul phenomenon on Oxy.) Dopey, Testy and Oxy can come and go; they can
cooperate or fight.
Back to the woman who wants to sleep with you: Yes, even if
she's officially straight, evidence suggests that she could bond with
you and even fall in love with you. But it's your call on whether to
give her your heart. •
JUNE
2013
CURVE
51
THE HOUSE OF WINDSOR
Pre-Stonewall lesbian Edith Windsor may win us the rights we've been waiting for.
BY VICTORIA A. BROWNWORTH
he romance between Edith "Edie" Windsor and Thea Spyer neatly
encapsulates the last 50 years of lesbian history. Edie Windsor
and Thea Spyer met in the early 1960s, after Windsor's first
marriage, to a man, ended in divorce. In 1965, Spyer, a clinical
psychologist asked Windsor to marry her. There was no ring
because, as Windsor explained, that would have raised questions: "Who is
he? When do we meet him?" Instead, there was a pin, a circle of diamonds.
T
They were "twilight"lesbians then, in the pre~Stonewall
era when being out was almost unheard of and women
who loved other women lived in the shadows, as "friends;'
and were often mistaken for sisters.
But by May 22, 2007, the shadows were gone: 41
years after they moved in together, Spyer and Windsor
were married in Toronto, in a ceremony officiated by
Justice Harvey Brownstone, Canada's first openly gay
judge. Their wedding announcement appeared in the
52
CURVE
JUNE 2013
New York Times the fol~
lowing Sunday.
Two years later, Spyer
died in Manhattan, where
the couple made their
home. Although same~
sex marriages were not
yet legal in New York, the
state recognized same~sex
marriages performed in other jurisdictions, but the fed~
eral government did not. As a consequence, Windsor
was forced to pay more than $360,000 in federal estate
taxes-money she would have kept, if recognition of
same~sex marriage were the law of the land. After all, a
heterosexual wife does not have to pay taxes on money
left to her by her spouse.
Edie Windsor-then
SO-decided to become the
public face of marriage~equality activism. Windsor
•
Wedded in Canada
approached several LGBT rights organizations, but they were
unwilling or unable to help her. Then she found a private attorney,
Roberta Kaplan, who eagerly agreed to take the case. Kaplan said,
"When I heard her story, it took me five seconds, maybe less;' to
decide. The ACLU would later sign on to the case as well.
There were two lower court rulings. Initially, the U.S. District
Court for the Southern District of New York found in Windsor's
favor. Then, the 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the District
Court's decision. Windsor was ecstatic and told reporters, "It's
thrilling to have a court finally recognize how unfair it is for the
government to have treated us as though we were strangers:'
Unfortunately, the Obama administration, which in 2011
abandoned its defense of DOMA, still claims that it is bound
to enforce it, until it is overturned or declared unconstitutional;
so, it did not let the lower court ruling stand, and on June 14,
2012, appealed to the Supreme Court to overturn the verdict of
the Appeals Court-a verdict that would have refunded Windsor's
money and also vitiated the section of DOMA that defines marriage.
More than just estate taxes but social security survivor benefits and
health benefits are also on the line.
The case was heard by the U.S. Supreme Court on March 27.
Windsor, now 83, sat in the courtroom hearing the story of her
life-and that of so many other lesbians-being presented to the
highest court in the land.
The commentary was swift and succinct. The court's most liberal
justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who is herself 80 years old and was
married to her husband for 56 years, until his death in 2010, listened to the arguments and said, an edge of disgust to her voice: "So
you're saying there are two kinds of marriage-the
full marriage
and then this sort of ... skim-milk marriaget
One solid vote for Windsor there.
After the arguments were heard, Windsor stood in front of the
Supreme Court and spoke to reporters. She could not talk about
the case, but she could talk about how she felt. A small, spry blonde,
with her hair in a classic bob and wearing a smoke-gray pantsuit
accented with a bright pink and tangerine scar£ she was glowing.
"AS WE INCREASINGLY
CAME OUT, PEOPLE
SAW THAT WE DIDN'T
HAVE HORNS. PEOPLE
LEARNED THAT WE
WERE THEIR KIDS AND
THEIR COUSINS AND
THEIR FRIENDS."
When she turned toward reporters and her scarf caught the breeze
just a bit, there it was: the circle pin on her left lapel, close to her
heart, a testament to her 44 years with Thea Spyer.
She said, her voice strong and vibrant, full of excitement, "I think
it went great. I think it went beautifully:'
Windsor also explained why the marriage fight is vital. "For
anyone who doesn't understand why we want it and why we need
it, OK, it's magic:' The whole process of coming out had changed
things-and her time-travel, from those twilight years to now, was
predicated on the fact that people were starting to understand who
lesbians really are.
''As we increasingly came our;' she said,"people saw that we didn't
have horns. People learned that we were their kids and their cousins
and their friends:'
She acknowledged that this acceptance, which the polls on marriage equality support, was new. Justice Elena Kagan underscored
that point when she read from the House Judiciary Committee
report on DOMA, which in 1996 was overwhelmingly supported
by both sides of the aisle in Congress. Kagan read-and Windsor
nodded along in the courtroom as she did so-"Congress decided
to reflect and honor a collective moral judgment and to express
moral disapproval of homosexuality:'
"Even 10 years ago;' Windsor said, she would have been "hiding
in the closet:' But that day, in front of the court, she was "thrilled
and humbled and exalted:'
On May 27, 2007, when the New York Times ran the announcement of the Spyer-Windsor marriage, the women looked as much
in love as any other newly married couple.
Now, four years after Spyer's death, Windsor continues to fight
for legal recognition of their love-for the woman she spent 44
years with, and for the rest of us. In the shadows no more. •
THE SUPREME COURT SHOULD BE RULING ON UNITED
STATES V. WINDSOR BY THE END OF JUNE.
JUNE
2013
CURVE
53
KATE THE GREAT
Pioneering transgender icon Kate Bornstein.
BY AMY LAME
ate Bornstein is my heroine. Her books have
been milestones in my life, offering advice,
ideas and inspiration at key moments when
everything seemed destined for doom. My first
great Kate encounter was Gender Outlaw,
which served as my bible in the early to mid-1990s,
when the war on the frontlines of gender politics was
particularly fierce, and I felt like an outsider in my own
community. Bornstein's soothing words assured me
that she'd always be there with a cup of tea and a wellpadded shoulder to cry on. The fact that Bornstein grew
up-as Al-just a few miles away from me in New Jersey
made me feel an even closer kinship.
K
I then encountered Hidden: A Gender, a performance piece based
on Bornstein's own life experience and that of the 19th~century
intersex Herculine Barbin. Though I never saw it performed live
(originally starring MxJustin Vivian Bond), I would read the script
over and over, as if my very next breath depended on it.
"Hidden: A Gender wasn't welcomed with open arms by the gay
and lesbian community;' Bornstein recounts. "Men who were get~
ting into metrosexuality and straight housewives loved it, though;'
she deadpans. "Most people are oppressed by a gender rule:' If the
message of hope for a gender utopia was lost on her own commu~
nity, it certainly caused parts of Middle America to leap out of
their La~Z~ Boys and take notice.
When a dear friend was struggling with her gender identity, I
headed straight to my local LGBT bookshop (yes, such things still
54
CURVE
JUNE 2013
existed!) and bought her a copy of Bornstien's My Gender
Workbook. Years later, she passed it on to her niece, who was
questioning her identity and is now in the process of transi~
tioning. It is comforting to know that Bornstein's depth of
knowledge, breadth of experience, and big~hearted approach
to life is impacting generations of queerlings across the globe.
So, with Bornstein's latest book, A Queer and Pleasant Danger
(Beacon Press), I was expecting life~changing stuff and I wasn't
disappointed. It is punchy and provocative, full of mirth and mel~
ancholy. From growing up male on the Jersey Shore (eat your heart
out, The Situation!) to marrying, becoming a Scientologist, tran~
sitioning, moving to San Francisco to live with radical sex~positive
femmes and then to New York to follow love, Bornstein's journey
is a blueprint for how to live without compromise but with heaps
of compassion.
In fact, it is more than a memoir. A Queer and Pleasant Danger is
a love letter to Bornstein's daughter, who remains a member of the
Church of Scientology, though Kate left in 1981, after 12 years of
membership. "Since the day I left, my daughter has not been able to
talk to me;' she says. A feeling of sadness rises in Bornstein's voice
when she admits,"! can't tell her how much I love her ... and I hold
no hope she will ever read it:'
Indeed, her daughter doesn't know anything of Bornstein's life
in the past 30 years. Was she having a gender crisis while she was a
Scientologistr ''Absolutely.I thought I was such a freak and a pervert,
and I wanted it to stop. I would cross dress in hotel rooms when I
was traveling for the church. But it never went away:'
Bizarrely, it was the church's teachings on genderless society that
gave Bornstein the courage to leave and seek reassignment. She
then became a sex~positive femme dyke. "I wore jumpsuits and
power suits when dungarees were in style, but Susie Bright gave me
the courage to wear dresses. I even wore three~color eye shadow!
That felt radical in the 1990s:' Bornstein quickly adds that things
have changed since then. "Curve now makes it OK for girls to be
feminist and sexy. We have to remember, the lilies of the field are
there to delight. It's part of our gender expression:'
Her outspoken sexiness has certainly won her many admirers,
but she admits to being "good at sex, but bad at politics:' She may
not know the ins and outs of Capitol Hill, but just being herself is
political, and she has found her political and spiritual home among
women. "I have found common ground with lesbians-and a lot of
fun in the dyke community:'
So how does Bornstein identifyr"I call myself a tranny. It's never
been a controversial word for me;' she declares. "It means anyone
who is fucking with gender, and that to me means family:' And, she
adds with a flourish,'Tm a diesel femme:'
Writing her memoir has been cathartic and enlightening. "The
one thing I have learned from A Queer and Pleasant Danger is sur~
prising-the
more I write about my own life in detail, the more
diverse my readership becomes:' I think replacing the Gideon Bible
in every hotel room with A Queer and Pleasant Danger would be a
good start.
Bornstein is brave for writing her memoir; the Church of
Scientology has been known to be less than lovely to those who
break ranks and tell of their experiences. Her recent cancer diag~
nosis will require even more bravery. She has the scars-and tat~
toos-that mark an amazing life lived on the edge of the precipice.
Long may she live in that queer and pleasant danger.•
■
"Iwish I could tell
my younger self
it gets better."
It can be hard to be young, but thanks to great organizations
like GLSEN, the It Gets Better Project, Point
Foundation, Teach For America, and The Trevor Project, we're all working together to bring help and hope to
all young people. Let's keep making it better.
Learn more about Wells Fargo's commitment to the LGBT community at wellsfargo.com/lgbt.
HAPPY
GLS N®
PRIDE
FROM
IT GETS"
BETTER
PROJECT
© 2013
WellsFargo
Bank,
N.A.Allrightsreserved.
Member
FDIC.
ECG-910541
WELLS
FARGO
AND
OUR COMMUNITY
ALLIANCES
TEACHFORAMERICA
DOWN-TO-EARTH
DIVA
Acclaimed soprano Patricia Racette is out, proud and hitting the high notes.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
R
Soul~baring Method Acting at the opera, the most artificial
of stage mediums? "My acting skills have come experientially,"
Racette tells me, admitting that she has never actually taken an
acting class."! need to lose myself in that character. If it's not a char~
acter that I can really sink my teeth into, I'm really uncomfortable:'
Following in the footsteps of her role model, opera great Renata
Scotto, who played Madame Butterfly to great acclaim ("She is
absolutely one of my very favorite stage animals"), Racette has become
one of America's greats herself, and shortly after she presented
Scotto with an Opera News Award, Scotto returned the favor.
If you've stopped reading because opera isn't your thing, too high~
brow, keep reading. Racette, who grew up in working~class Bedford,
N.H., is thoroughly frank about her profession, laughing uproari~
ously when I mention that I, too, might have passed this musical
genre over had it not been for the 'gateway drug," Puccini's romantic
and accessible tale of doomed love, La Boheme.
56
CURVE
"I consider myself a Puccini singer," says
Racette. ''I've done well over a hundred per~
formances of Mimi and Musetta. I under~
stand the concept of the gateway drug and I
can't quite get beyond it ... I love performing
Musetta, she's so much fun to portray. Mimi
can get a bit droopy;' she concedes. (Then
again, she is dying of consumption.) But Racette has also tackled
the pinnacle of Puccini, performing all three roles in the demand~
ing Il Trittico.
But let's put arias aside for a moment. Racette always wanted
to be a singer, but what she was originally trained to sing was jazz.
In a recent performance at 54 Below, an elegant subterranean
nightclub in New York City, Racette launched her CD Diva on
Detour. The soundtrack is from the American songbook-with
a short detour to France-and when Racette wrote the show she
not only chose a familiar set list, she made sure to include stories
that invoked her childhood, her mom, and a nod to her marriage
to mezzo~soprano Beth Clayton. On the night that I saw Racette,
she radiated warmth and happiness.
"That is really me," she says. "I am that way in my operatic pro~
fession, too. Sometimes you can almost sense the lofty, aloof,
larger~than~life personalities, and in that regard, opera has been
acette, who made no bones about coming out to the opera
world in 2002, is so committed to authenticity that for her
signature role, Cio-Cio San in Madama Butterfly, in which
the final scene requires her to commit suicide, she traveled
to Japan and studied the ritual of seppuku with Samurai.
JUNE 2013
very ill-fitting for me. I'm not that way. I'm practical, I'm down-toearth, I have a lot of temperament but I need humor to get through
life. I'm very user-friendly, but that in no way, in my opinion, takes
anything away from the potency of what I'm doing on stage:'
The title of the album, conceived by Racette and Clayton (who,
by the way, makes a foxy lead in Carmen, all six foot of her), suggests that the virtuoso is stepping down from her pedestal to
get into the groove. Songs include a medley of "I Got Rhythm"
and "Get Happy," "The Man That Got Away," (in the intro
Racette quips, "Boy, did he ever!"), and a formidable foray into
the catalogue of Edith Piaf, with "Padam Padam" and "La Vie
En Rose:' These are showstoppers that may just transcend all
other tributes to Piaf.
Displaying zero percent haughtiness, the diva is up close and
personal in this detour, but Racette doesn't entirely disavow the
term."Being able to stand onstage in front of 4,000 people and captivate them, and use those little flaps of skin in your throat called
your vocal chords to do so, and then infuse it with your energy and
your heart and soul, that is a divine experience and I think that's
the wonder of it:'
Racette has heart and soul to spare, but a good deal of this comes
from the happiness and security she has found with her wife,
Clayton. Racette, who came out officially in Opera News in 2002,
has sympathy for those who are afraid to leave the confines of the
closet, but says she had only one choice. "It's not worth living a life
feeling ashamed of something that I feel more proud of than anything else. It's something I celebrate. I don't want to behave as if
there is something wrong with it, because there isn't ... ! think some
people are really surprised when I sing, 'I got my gal, who can ask
for anything else.. .' But I think that's fun:'
Baffied by Jodie Foster's not-quite-coming-out speech, which
left Racette and Clayton open-mouthed, dare we say speechless,
she nevertheless reserves judgment. "Coming out is different when
you have a public profession;' she explains, and agrees that the
demographic of opera lovers consists mostly ofliberal-minded folk,
many of whom are gay themselves.
"Look, I'm not in Alabama teaching kindergarten. There's a big
difference. My first girlfriend ended up being a first-grade teacher,
we were in college together, and she was very scared and closeted ...
so I believe that people should do things that feel right to them.
I don't believe people should be pushed into this. But I have personally experienced someone who admired me, who liked me, but
who didn't know I was a lesbian, and when they found that out, I
could just watch the process going on in their head: Wait a minute.
I don't approve of that. Well, maybe it's OK ... It changes people's
minds. 'One of those' becomes personalized, and I think that's how
we make a difference:'
Both Racette and Clayton, who shared their coming-out story
on video with the It Gets Better Project, are at the top of their careers, but upon glancing at their resumes it seems that the rise really
began once they became an item. Is there power, even in the stuffy
world of opera, to be gained by finding love, and coming out about
it loud and proud?
"That's the reverse of the question I am most frequently asked,
which is: 'When you came out, did it affect your career in a negative way?' I don't know if, when I'm passed over for a role, one of
those reasons happens to be, 'Oh, she's a lesbian, I don't want her
to portray this character: We're not privy to that kind of information. I would hope that if I'm passed over for a role, it's for sound
artistic reasons.
"But to answer your question, I would say, being authentic and
true to who you are and how you're living informs your entire being,
and that inevitably permeates every aspect of your life, particularly
when your profession is to bare your heart and soul. It takes a certain
amount of emotional inventory to be a performer, so if you've hidden
and turned away a major part of who you are, that creates an impediment to what you're trying to say as an artist and how you're able
to say it:'
Racette is open to discussing her life with Beth Clayton. In
the end, she says, relationships are relationships, and when it
comes down to how they make theirs work, Racette uses the term
"wifing:'
'Tm not going to lie. When we first got together, there was a
certain amount of tension around having two performers in a
household and dealing with all that it entails-not just the practical logistics, but the emotional pressures, the ego, it's rather
intricate. But I'll never forget the time early on in our relation-
"BEING AUTHENTIC AND TRUE
TO WHO YOU ARE AND HOW
YOU'RE LIVING INFORMS YOUR
ENTIRE BEING, AND THAT
INEVITABLY PERMEATES EVERY
ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE ..."
ship, we were sitting there talking and Beth actually said, 'We're
a team. We have to approach this like we're a team: And we do.
So, 'wifing: There's nothing specific. It entails picking up all the
slack, so that the other person can prepare and do their very best
in rehearsals and during the performances. We take turns. But I
don't think I've folded a towel in 15 years now, because they just
get refolded;' she laughs.
This picture of domestic harmony would not be complete without
including their dog, Sappho. At the beginning, Racette says she told
Clayton, "'I want us to have something that we can love together. We
have this wonderful relationship ... ! want us to be able to bestow
that love on another creature: I really wanted to have a dog, perhaps
more than Beth did, and for the dog, Beth is absolutely primary.
But if I were a dog, I'd choose Beth too;' she laughs.
As for two-legged children, Racette and Clayton discussed it
thoroughly for over five years and "got very close ... But the performing arts, and music in particular, it's ruthless. It insists on being
number one and it never stops asking for more, and so I think it's a
no-brainer. When you have a child, the child takes priority. There's
no way something is not going to suffer in that process:'
Including the relationship.
"We're pretty blissful with each other. Why would you mess with
that?" she says. And I'm pretty blissful with Racette, and thankful
that she's making herself available to us, whether it's in the world's
great opera houses or at a cabaret near you. (patriciaracette.com) •
JUNE
2013
CURVE
57
■■ PRIDE
■■ PROFILES
TURNING HATE INTO LOVE
A lesbian author revisits the legacy of Matthew Shepard.
BY JOAN LIPKIN
eslea Newman shot to fame in 1989-her groundbreaking
children's book Heather Has Two Mommies, with its warm
and loving depiction of a child and her lesbian parents,
was celebrated in some circles and banned in others. In
the ensuing years, she has written or edited more than
60 books, including A Letter to Harvey Milk, The Boy Who Cried
Fabulous, The Reluctant Daughter, Nobody's Mother, and Write from
the Heart. Her recent book October Mourning: A Song for Matthew
Shepard (Candlewick Press) is a moving and evocative response to
Shepard's death, and was almost 14 years in the making.
L
You have a special connection to Matthew Shepard. Tell us how you two nearly crossed paths
right before he died?
In 1998, I had been asked months before Matthew
Shepard's murder to be the keynote speaker for Gay
Awareness Week at the University of Wyoming, which
was put together by the University of Wyoming's
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, T ransgendered Association. One
of the last things Matt did, on the Tuesday night of his
attack, was attend a meeting of the LGBT Association
to go over the plans for Gay Awareness Week.
That weekend, Jim Osborn, president of the
LGBT Association, called to tell me what had hap~
pened to his friend Matt. Jim asked if I wanted to
cancel my appearance. I said absolutely not, and arrived
on campus the day Matt died. I met some of his
friends and teachers. When I gave my talk, the stu~
dents from the LGBT Association were sitting in the
front row. There was one empty seat among them and
I kept looking at it, and thinking, "Matthew Shepard
should be sitting there:'
58
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2013
Is that what inspired you to write
this collection?
On October 12, 2009, The Laramie
Project, Part II: The Epilogue was
performed in 150 cities, including
Northampton, Mass., which is where
I saw it. That night, I couldn't sleep.
The play brought everything back to
me in a flash, and I got out of bed
in the middle of the night and wrote
the poem "Wounded;' which is part
of the collection.
At this time, I was the poet lau~
reate of Northampton, and I created a project called
30 Poems in 30 Days. I organized 75 poets to write a
poem a day during the month of November and col~
lect monetary pledges per poem [it was a fundraiser
similar to a walkathon] to raise money for a literacy
organization. After I wrote the first poem, I knew my
30 poems would be an exploration of the aftermath
of this hate crime. And when the 30 days were over,
I kept writing.
You published it 14 years after his death. Why
now?
I think it took me over a decade to truly absorb how
horrific this hate crime was. I also think I had to grow
as a writer, an activist, and a human being in order to
have the confidence to take on this project. That's one
answer. The other answer is, I never know what I am
going to write when I sit down and pick up my penyes, I still write with a pen! And these are the poems
that came pouring out of me. Some books have longer
gestation periods than others. And this book was one
of them.
You use several different poetic forms in the
book. How did you select them?
I kept thinking about all the empty space surround~
ing this hate crime- Matt being alone on the prairie
for 18 hours, the huge space he left in the lives of the
people who knew him and loved him. In Japanese
aesthetics, which I have studied, there is a quality called
yohaku, which means the empty space in a poem or
a painting.
I wanted to capture this emptiness by keeping the
poems very sparse. Some of the forms I used are the vil~
lanelle and the pantoum, both of which use repetition,
as well as haiku, alphabet poem, acrostic and several
imitations. Many of the poems that were not written in
a specific form use formal poetic devices, such as rhyme
and repetition. Because the poems contain such intense
emotion, writing them in form was a way to contain
U.S. Department of
Health and Human Services
Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention
www.cdc.gov/tips
that emotion, and to make the process of diving into
this intense material more bearable.
You also tell the story from the point of view of
the fence Matt was tied to, the truck Matt was
kidnapped in, and the stars overhead. Can you
tell us more about those choices?
When I began to write the collection, I had to ask
myself, "What do I have to say that could possibly
add to the many accounts that have already been
written about Matt's murder?" The facts were known,
as much as we will ever know them. I kept thinking
how we will never really know the truth about what
happened at the fence that night. Matt can't tell us
and, in my opinion, his murderers can't be trusted to
tell the truth about what happened.
I kept wishing there had been witnesses, and
then I realized that there were witnesses: the fence,
the moon, the stars, a deer that kept Matt company. As a poet, I used my imagination to create
monologues from these points of view to learn something new about the story. The book is not the truth;
rather it is my truth, my take on this murder and its
aftermath.
"THE BOOK IS NOT THE TRUTH;
RATHER IT IS MY TRUTH, MY TAKE ON
THIS MURDER AND ITS AFTERMATH."
What has been the response to the book? Have
you heard from the Shepard family?
The book has gotten a tremendous response, both
from adults who remember vividly where they were,
what they were doing, and how they responded when
Matt was murdered, and from teenagers who were
only 2 or 3 years old, or not even born when these
events took place. It is a very moving experience for
me to give a reading from the book and look up and see
a row of high school students, both male and female,
wiping tears from their eyes.
I hope that Matt's story inspires people to work
harder to erase hate from our damaged world. I am
a member of the Matthew Shepard Foundation
Speakers Bureau and have their full support for the
work that I am doing. I recently spent some time with
Judy Shepard in Brooklyn, where we saw the Tectonic
Theater Project perform both parts of The Laramie
Project. I thanked Judy for allowing me to tell her son's
story, and she thanked me for telling it and told me she
had heard many good things about the book. She is an
amazing person and her dedication to human rights
for all inspires me on a daily basis.
October Mourning: A Song for Matthew Shepard has been recommended by many teachers
and children's library groups, and has won several
60
CURVE
JUNE
2013
young adult book awards. This is not a typical
choice of literature for children or young adults.
I don't think we give teens enough credit. They are
passionate about injustice and are hungry for true stories that will inspire them to make the world a better
place. I think teens deserve to know the truth about
the world they are inheriting. I have been very inspired
by their reactions to the book, and to the presentation
I give, He Continues to Make a Difference: The Story
of Matthew Shepard.
At the end of that presentation, I ask the audience
to make a commitment to do one specific thing to
make the world a safer place for the LGBT community.
So many teens have said things like, 'Tm not going to
use the word 'fag' anymore;' or "The next time I hear
someone say, 'That's so gay; I'm going to call them out
on it:' It takes a lot of courage to stand up in front of
your whole school and make a statement like that.
What are your current and upcoming projects?
I have a few children's books coming out in the
near future: Ketzel, the Cat Who Composed, which
is based on the true story of a cat whose solo composition for the piano won honorable mention in a
contest-really!-and
Here Is the World: A Year of
Jewish Holidays. Also I am thrilled that Heather Has
Two Mommies, which is currently out of print, is going
to be reissued with brand-new fabulous illustrations.
And currently, I am working on an adult poetry collection about my mother's recent death, with all the
poems being written in form.
Anything else you would like to share this Pride?
For any reader who is struggling, I'd like to say, "It
does get better!" I am proud to be happily and legally,
in Massachusetts, married to my beloved, and we are
about to celebrate our 25th anniversary!
And I fully expect that the federal government
will recognize our marriage in our lifetime. And also,
never underestimate your own power. One simple act
of kindness can save a life and make all the difference
in the world. •
0
" sfpride.org
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~
THANKS
TO OUR
SPONSORS:
@
1g10-zo1i
Celebration
& Parade
'america
Cclearchannel
MEDIA+ ENTERTAINMENT
JUNE29-30
~
•
joie de vivre~
PASSING THE TORCH
From anti-poaching to Pussy Riot, millennial feminists continue activism.
BY VICTORIA A. BROWNWORTH
''
ustainability" is a millennial buzzword. But can we apply
it to activism? Is there anything more important on the
sustainability scale than that? Middle-aged activists
like me do worry about whether the next generation is
taking up the activist torch, particularly when politics
and activism seem to rank so low on the list of millennial interests.
It only takes a handful of under~30s doing their
change~the~world magic, however, to make me feel
secure in the notion that activism lives on.
Shifra Goldenberg, 26, is someone who has the
magic. (Full disclosure: Goldenberg is my niece, but
this is the Pride issue, and writing about her activism
fills me with two different kinds of pride, feminist and
familial.) The work she is doing as she pursues a PhD
in behavioral ecology is helping to save an important
and very female portion of the planet.
A researcherwith Save the Elephants,
a nonprofit, research~basedorganiza~
tion in Samburu, Kenya, Goldenberg
is currently tracking what happens to
orphaned elephants in a population
endangered by poaching. She is one
of very few women working with wild
animal systems in Africa.
"With the rising demand for ivory over the last several
years, elephants across Africa have become victims of
poaching and illegalkilling,"she says.Some of the animals
she's come to know will be murdered-brutally.
Goldenberg's work concentrates on the effects that
poaching has on the social structure of young female
elephants, studying who survives and how, and if
they form new bonds after losing their closest family
members. Elephants, she explains, are "dependent on social bonds
for survival:'
Her research is complex, but begins with the fact that poaching
targets the older animals, leaving the younger ones to fend for
themselves. In this matriarchal structure, without older females to
guide the younger and with many of the families no longer having a
breeding female, poaching could hasten the extinction of the entire
population.
In February, Goldenberg reported for National Geographicon
the killing of a young male elephant, Philo. Goldenberg wrote, "His
face was hacked off in the typical fashion with the pool of blood not
yet soaked up by the earth. The gunshots went to his head on either
side and the blood from those shots was so fresh it glistened in the
morning sun:' She also witnessed the slow death of a female ele~
phant, Resilience, shot by poachers. Resilience had several children,
the youngest of which was unlikely to survive without its mother.
"Her severed tusks lay on the ground,
soon to be stowed. It's difficult to imagine
that those tusks were what this was all about.
They were so beautiful when she carried
them, and now they stand as ugly reminders
of a heartbreaking past and a bleak future;'
Goldenberg says.
According to the World Wildlife Fund,
there are only 500,000 African elephants left
in the world. Their population of 5 million
in the 1930s and '40s was decimated by tro~
phy hunting and the illegal ivory trade. Today,
poachers get minimal fines. The only thing
standing between extinction and survival
are researchers like Goldenberg, who do the
painstaking and painful tracking of these magnificent animals.
The millennials that make up Pussy Riot, Russia's anarchist femi~
nist punk~rock collective, are among the most infamous activists in
the world. In their fluorescent balaclavas they remain anonymous,
targeting repression and oppression under Russian president
Vladimir Putin's rule, including the persecution of women and
LGBT people. As one member notes, "We are pure protest, say~
ing to all, 'Superheroes in balaclavas and acid~bright tights seize
public space in Moscow: " Pussy Riot's spokeswoman, Nadezhda
Tolokonnikova, explains that the group "consists of anarchists,
T rotskyists, feminists and autonomists" and is "united by feminism,
anti~authoritarianism, and opposition to Putin:'
Patterning themselves on '80s punk rockers and Riot grrrls, Pussy
Riot states, "What we have in common is impudence, politically
loaded lyrics, the importance of feminist discourse, and a nonstan~
dard female image:•
Five of the Pussy Riot members gave a notorious anti~Putin
performance of the song "Punk Prayer: Mother of God, Chase
Putin Away" in front of the altar in Moscow's Cathedral of Christ
the Savior on February 21, 2012. The performance was halted by
church security, but the group posted it on the Internet. (All their
concerts are unscheduled and are videotaped for later posting.) The
five were charged with "hooliganism'' -a misdemeanor. But then
"religious hatred" was added to the charge. Two went into hiding
and three were arrested. In a show trial, Tolokonnikova, 23, Maria
Alyokhina, 24, and Yekaterina Samutsevich,
30, received two~year prison sentences in
September 2012. Samutsevich was released
on probation after several months because
her attorney argued that she didn't actually
perform on the altar.
Tolokonnikova and Samutsevich were sent
to a corrective labor prison in Mordovia, 250
miles from Moscow. Alyokhina was sent to
an even harsher prison in Perm Oblast, where
she has been treated so brutally by other prisoners that she asked to
be put in solitary confinement. All three women are deemed to be
political prisoners of conscience by Amnesty International.
"Pussy Riot's performances can either be called dissident art or
political action that engages art forms;' says Tolokonnikova. "Either
way, our performances are a kind of civic activity amidst the repres~
sions of a corporate political system that directs its power against
basic human rights and civil and political liberties:'
It is the group's belief that state~sanctioned events are ignored, so
they always perform in public spaces, such as a cathedral, without
permission. They attend rallies that are not sanctioned: In 2011,
Tolokonnikova and Samutsevich were arrested at the Moscow Gay
Pride rally.
Alyokhina, who also protests as a member of Greenpeace Russia,
refused to be silent at the trial, actively questioning witnesses. Her
eloquent closing statement defines Pussy Riot and the scope of
its activism.
"For me, this trial only has the status of a so~called trial. And
I am not afraid of you. I am not afraid of lies and fiction, of the
thinly disguised fraud in the sentence of this so~called court.
Because you can only take away my so~called freedom. And that
is the exact kind that exists now in Russia. But nobody can take
away my inner freedom:'
These young women are taking up the activist torch, protecting
the planet, protecting protest. Who will you pass the torch to?•
JUNE
2013
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63
Portraits of survivors;
photographer Dese'rae L.
Stage (right)
64
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JUNE
2013
FACES OF
SURVIVIAL
A photographer converts self-destruction into strength.
BY ELIZABETH NGUYEN
t takes courage to talk about your suicide attempt, but photographer
Dese'Rae L. Stage tells her story with hardly a hitch. The events are
dramatic, the emotions palpable. However, Stage's willingness to be
vulnerable-to be open with the details and honest with her feelingsis the most powerful aspect of her narrative. In this spirit of openness,
Stage photographed herself and posted her face, full name and
survivor status online. This was the beginning of what would become the
Live Through This: Life on the Other Side of a Suicide Attempt project.
I
Live ThroughThis is a portrait collection of survivors and their stories. The portraits are
shared online in an effort to start conversations, provide emotional support and encourage
survivors to "own their experiences publicly and proudly:'
"Suicide is something that affects all of us;' says Stage, who is embarking on a coast-tocoast tour to photograph more survivors. Her Kickstarter campaign raised over $22,000
to fund the trek. She intends to put"faces to the numbers;' humanizing an issue that is often
told in statistics or simply left in silence. Each portrait is a snapshot of human emotion and
experience. "You're sitting down with a person who is telling you about the darkest time in
their life;' says Stage. Her volunteers are often telling their story for the first time, and they
don't skip any details. They go through the build-up, their attempt, and describe where
they are now. They talk about whether they're glad that they lived, whether they're not glad,
or whether they might still die by suicide. Afterwards, Stage takes a photo.
"It's hard to hear and it's emotional, but I think it's necessary;' says Stage, who holds a
degree in psychology and is trained in crisis intervention. "A lot of the stories right now
are pretty positive ... ! think it's important to talk about the positive and negative when it
comes to being a suicide attempt survivor:'
Live Through This emerged from Stage's personal struggles with cutting, an abusive
lesbian relationship, and her own suicide attempt. She recalls a time when her partner
gave her a black eye: 'Tm 5 foot 7 inches so I'm fairly tall, but she was like 5 foot 2 inches
and she just punched me right in the face and knocked me out one day, and I had to go
to work like that. We worked together-we
did everything together. So, when I went
to work with a black eye, I remember somebody looking at me and making a joke about
rough sex. And she was standing next to me, and I was just so mortified:'
Stage is troubled by the silence surrounding lesbian partner violence. "I think it does
happen a lot more than anybody knows, and that because we live in a heteronormative
society, 'girl-on-girl violence; as Tina Fey would say, isn't really even acknowledged. We
don't even acknowledge it as real or as domestic abuse when it very much is:'
Since her Kickstarter campaign, Live Through This has received waves of support.
Over 200 survivors have contacted Stage in hopes of participating. She also gets emails
from family or friends seeking to include a lost loved one on her website. "I find myself
reading my emails and crying all the time. I've been making this joke, like, 'Man, I need
therapy at the end of every day: But it's a good thing:'
Stage admires the bravery of her volunteers.'Tve kind of fallen in love with all of these
people. They're not just telling me their story-they're letting me take a picture of them,
they're using their full names. There's no anonymity in this project at all, and that's huge:'
Stage is also proud of her own willingness to be open." I don't love talking about that time
in my life. It does hurt. It is painful. I know that there are people who judge you. But I
guess I'm just willing to put it out there so something good can happen, and that other
people know they're not alone:' (livethroughthis.org) •
■■ PRIDE
■■ PROFILES
LIFELINE TO YOUTH
Educating and empowering South Florida's LGBT.
BY LANIAYA ALESIA HOOFATT
t's not unusual for first-time visitors to Pridelines
Youth Services to get turned around. Tucked
away behind the local fire station, this outreach
center may be small but it is mighty, and everyone
is greeted with a smile. Pridelines' mission is to
offer support education, and empowerment to LGBT
and questioning youth-along with acceptance, love,
friendship and community. Miami-area teens consider it
their home, their lifeline, their family.
I
In the wake of Anita Bryant's Save Our Children
campaign, Pridelines began in 1982 as a peerled, adult-facilitated
youth group at MiamiDade College, guided and supported by Dr.
Marilyn Volker, Peter Meyer, and other caring
individuals.
Pridelines was incorporated in 1996, with Dale
Ayres as the executive director and for more than
28 years has provided a safe space, social support,
skill building, leadership development, and referrals to mental health, health care, and other support services for LGBT youth and their straight
allies. Offering the first community-based HIV
testing sites in Miami-Dade County and an annual LGBT youth prom, Pridelines has become an open door
to a secure future for teens unable to freely express themselves
at home.
The environment may be light and loose, but the program is
structured enough to give teens something to count on. During
the year, through its presence at various Pride events ( and their
after parties), Pridelines makes contact with more than 4,400
youths, who can hardly believe they have found a place where
they can finally be heard.
"It was overwhelming, I just started talking and they listened;'
says Qualisa Thomas, who has been with Pridelines from the age
of 14, and now, at 24, was a chair of the 2013 LGBTQ Youth
Prom Committee and works with a Pridelines partner agency,
the Alliance for GLBTQ Youth. "You are embraced so much, and
you slowly start hanging out [with others], outside of this:'
Just as Pridelines extends its lifeline to teens who grew up in
Florida, it also welcomes those who move to the state for college. Myra Benjamin, a native of Detroit, attends Miami-Dade
College and is in her second year at Pridelines. She is the online
marketing and social media associate and works with the HIV
Prevention Program.
"Pridelines is a very supportive place. I can be myself and be
as expressive as I want;' says Benjamin. She is now able to help
young people find their voice and stop feeling stifled, the way she
did in Detroit.
66
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JUNE
2013
The glue that keeps
the place together is
Luigi Ferrer, the director of Programs and
Grant
Development.
Ferrer is an experienced
activist, a marine biologist, a nationally recognized HIV/ AIDS
activist, and a health
care/ nonprofit consultant. Before coming to Pridelines, Ferrer
was the executive directive of both the Body Positive Resource
Center and the Bisexual Foundation. His resume is long and impressive, but his only focus when he's on-site is Pridelines.
For several years, Ferrer has coordinated the Pridelines Annual
Prom. With themes like Alice and Wonderland and this year's
Fashion Is Fierce, it is a magical night for those who attend.
"The reason why it came about was because [Miami-Dade]
school board policy allows students to go with a same-sex partner,
but people are squeamish, and sometimes students are called a
disruption;' says Ferrer.
Even though schools are becoming more accepting, the teens
connected to Pridelines are still drawn to the idea of having their
own prom. "How nice it is to go and be with someone you want
to;' says Benjamin. Pridelines' prom is a place where they can
laugh, dance, and have that uniquely memorable night that most
high school students dream about.
More than just a youth hangout, Pridelines introduces teens
to a wealth of outdoor activities too, taking them to the beach
for the first time though they've lived less than 10 miles away, or
taking them camping, or helping them understand nature for the
first time. Pridelines takes youth beyond the neighborhood they
grew up in and shows them that dreaming, imagining a future,
and wanting more from life is something that is within reach.
(pridelines.org) •
TERI
POLO
AND
SHERRI
SAUM
TAKE
PRIDE
INPLAYING
FAMILY
INTHIS
YEAR'S
MOST
ANTICIPATED
LESBIAN
SERIES,
THE
FOSTERS.
the pilot left off, on the day after the
streetwise Callie (Maia Mitchell)
comes to the Fosters' home.
'Tm married to a woman and we
have two children;' saysJohnson (Hope
& Faith)."It was a great opportunity
to write about my life, my own experi~
ences, which the guys [Bredeweg and
Paige] captured in the pilot. I'm just
so grateful to have the opportunity
to come on board and to help them, creatively and as
a producer, with the show:'
Ironically, Polo, a straight woman with two chil~
dren, says she's more comfortable playing the part of
Stef than she's been in any other role. "I think this
is the closest to me I've ever played in my life, as a
mother, as someone who loves someone else and has
feelings for someone else;' she says.
When Saum arrived to read for the role of Lena,
she expected something different from what she'd
experienced portraying heterosexual characters. "I
thought, 'Ooh, this will be an edgy, kind of cool thing
to do: But really;' says Saum, "it's just absolutely the
same-so many of the obstacles, the same challenges,
the same kind of love. It was kind of a lovely little
surprise. I think if people give us the chance, they're
going to discover exactly the same thing:'
And that's one of the messages of the show, says
Johnson, who is best known as an actor on The Bold
and the Beautiful,but whose life is more in sync with
the moms on The Fosters.She and her real~life wife,
"Sherri definitely has better lips than he does," says
Teri Polo, comparing her new TV wife to Ben Stiller,
her former husband on film in Meet the Parents
and its sequels. "And she's far more beautiful than
he is." Even Stiller couldn't argue with that.
Sherri Saum and Teri Polo portray Lena and Stef
Foster, a married couple on The Fosters,the new ABC
Family drama from Jennifer Lopez's production com~
pany, Nuyorican Productions.
Lena (Saum) is a high school vice~principal, the
kind of educator whom girls and boys could definitely
get a schoolyard crush on. Stef (Polo) is a cop with
a teenage son, Brandon (David Lambert). Together,
Stef and Lena are raising Brandon and two children
they've adopted. In the pilot episode, Lena brings two
new children into the Foster household, "temporarily:'
The Fosters was created by Brad Bredeweg (Fly
Girls) and Peter Paige (Queer as Folk). Centering
around a lesbian couple and their multiracial fam~
ily (they have foster, adopted, and natural children),
the show might be venturing into new territory for
primetime TV, but blended families are not a foreign
concept to people in the gay community.
The lead actors, along with executive producer
Joanna Johnson, spoke to Curve during the first week
of shooting in April. The first episode picks up where
CURVE
JUNE
2013
Michelle, have two adopted children. "We are going
to tell stories about the marriage and the relationship
of these two women, not just from the gay perspective
but from the being~married~and~having~kids perspec~
tive;' says Johnson.
And that includes all the aspects of the relation~
ship, Johnson adds.
"We're doing a story I'm really excited about. You
know, it's hard for Lena and Stef to find time to be
intimate, which every parent deals with. They're, like,
having to schedule time to have sex and keep that con~
nection going. And, of course, there are the kids, and
life keeps getting in the way. Once you get stressed
out a little bit about a kid, you just don't feel like sex
tonight, you know? We deal with these problems. I
think everybody will relate to that:'
While Teri Polo has enjoyed feature film success
playing Ben Stiller's girlfriend and spouse, this role,
as a cop on The Fosters, is her dream job. She's never
played a lesbian before, but she believes that's irrel~
evant. "If you love someone, you kiss them and you
hold them and you touch them, and sometimes you
fight with them, and it doesn't matter if the person
across from you is male or female;' says Polo.
Saum agrees: 'Tm loving Stef Foster in a way I
would love anybody. It's no different to me. If some~
one out there has a criticism about how I portray a
lesbian, that would be kind of strange for me:'
Saum, who is biracial, is also thrilled that ABC
Family supports a show with multiracial characters.
'Tm pretty happy;' says Saum. "Growing up, for me,
you know, I had The Cosby Show, but I didn't see my~
self out there anywhere. It's one thing to be black, but
then to be biracial, you have even less chance of seeing
yourself portrayed out there anywhere:'
Saum, whose father is African American and her
mother Caucasian, grew up in Ohio, spending idyl~
lie weekends in the country with her cousins, but
"IF 10J Lo/E
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1CCJ IS MALE oQ FEMALE"
70
CURVE
JUNE
2013
knowing that she was different. "I definitely felt
like I was the entire ethnic population in my entire
school-my
brother and I, we were it;' says Saum.
"We definitely felt it here and there, but I feel like I
came out pretty much unscathed. I attribute that to
my mom, and much love, and the feeling she gave us.
I was pretty lucky:'
The kids in The Fosters are being brought up in an
atmosphere of love as well, and that's what Saum
believes matters the most. "I feel people are people,
and I've always been clear that love is love;' says
Saum, who was a psychology major before taking up
an acting and modeling career in New York. "I grew
up in a household where we were given so much self
esteem. I really grew up with a sense of self~worth.
And I can see the difference in children that didn't
have that advantage:'
At this writing, shooting the first season has just
begun, and Polo says the cast has already bonded.
"Sherri and I have done a couple scenes this week that
have been very serious when it comes to our relation~
ship;' says Polo. "It's as if we've known each other for
20 years. I just adore doing scenes with her:'
Polo admits that she's more comfortable in the role
of Saum's wife than she is as a cop, but she has an
"expert" eager to critique her performance. "My ex~
husband's sister is a lesbian ... her girlfriend is a San
Diego cop. So she loves to make fun of me;' Polo says
with a laugh."She says,'IfI see you wearing one single
wedge heel or I see you looking inauthentic, I'm going
to bust you:"
But seriously, Polo adds, "This is an extraordinarily
relevant show and it's a timely show and I'm incred~
ibly proud to be a part of something that means
something:'
Saum concurs: "I don't think I've ever been a part
of such a collaborative, supportive, creative team of
people. We're all living our dreams. Especially for the
creators of our show, for getting something off the
ground that's really close to their hearts and just a
dream come true all around:'
"For ABC Family to embrace this show and want
to tell this story is just amazing;' adds Johnson, who's
seen great advancements since her days as a soap star
in the '80s and '90s. "It's much more brave to make a
real~life drama. The Modern Family show is great and
I love it, but they're funny gay men, and they're kooky
and eccentric and ha~ha-as long as you can laugh at
the gays, then we're all comfortable.
''A drama (like this show] is about raising kids and
a family, and says, Look, it's exactly the same issues
you have in your family:'
Don't miss this landmark series when it premieres
this month.•
FO
MU
From gastronomy to Gay Pride, Madrid beckons lesbians. By Merryn Johns
hen it comes to gay Spain, Barcelona is for
boys and Madrid is for mujeres! Madrid is
Penelope Cruz on a plate-smart, sophisticated, sexy! Machismo may be alive and well,
but I didn't encounter it there. What I did
find was strong, fiery women, both straight
and gay. From the mysterious laneways of
Old Madrid, to tapas of infinite variety, to the very latest in art,
architecture and fashion, this city will not disappoint cultureloving lesbians. Madrid resolved the same-sex marriage debate
back in 2005 and you'll be hard-pressed to find a local who doesn't
believe that the freedom to love whomever you choose is an inalienable human right-just like good food, fine wine and public art.
Where to stay
There are two types of Madrid, old and new, and a link between the
two was forged in 1912 when the Westin Palace Hotel was established as an international meeting point for luxury travelers. This
lovely edifice has seen some colorful guests: royalty, financiers,
actors, artists, administrators, authors and secret agents (Mata
Hari stayed here in 1916). All the suites feel quite regal, but I was
lucky enough to tour the Presidential Suite, which had recently
accommodated Hillary Clinton and Naomi Watts (not together,
but isn't it nice to picture:'). Within easy access of transportation,
galleries and museums, the Westin offers a touch of opulence and
enchantment-and
it's centrally located. (westin.com/Madrid)
The Sheraton Madrid Mirasierra is a little farther out of town,
with views of the hills surrounding the city. This chic modern hotel
boasts self-catering apartment-size suites, and a large unisex spa
offers numerous types of indoor and outdoor hydrotherapy where
72
CURVE
JUNE
2013
you could spend an entire day. (sheratonmadridmirasierra.com)
Whereto eat
The simple and pleasingly accurate answer is: anywhere and everywhere. But I can tell you where I ate! La Rotonda at the Westin
Palace Hotel offers the best breakfast buffet in town, where cava
(Spain's answer to champagne) and churros are a part of the
day's first meal. But it's worth going light on breakfast if you're
planning a tapas lunch. These eating adventures can consist of
numerous courses, served with wine or beer, and each version is
rich and revelatory.
Vadebaco (vadebaco.com) serves contemporary cuisine, and
here you can sample what's popular now and wash it down with
your choice of 40 wines offered by the glass, 350 by the bottle. La
Kitchen (lakitchen.es) and Cien Llaves (cienllaves.com) offer elegant and upmarket fusion dining experiences (locals dearly believe in
spending both money and time on dining out). But if you're looking
for a cheap counter lunch that still delivers lip-smacking Madrid,
try a bocatade calamare(a fried squid sandwich) and wash it down
with a cold San Miguel.
For a memorable and romantic tapas dinner, La Gastrocroqueteria
de Chema (gastrocroqueteria.com) nicely combines tradition with
innovation. Intimate and rustic, this restaurant served my favorite
versions of the tapas staples croquetas and turr6n de foie. Mercado
de la Reina (mercadodelareina.es) is a hip and happening modern
place providing the freshest high-quality protein, which you'll need
to fuel a night on the town. But if you want to eat somewhere gay,
you cannot go past ParisTokyo with its disco vibe downstairs and
upscale dining upstairs. The light and tasty Asian fusion menu is as
delectable as the high-fashion lesbian wall art (paristokyo.es).
What to see and do
You must wander through Old Madrid and conclude your journey
at San Miguel Market, built in 1916 as a fish market and now a
newly renovated center for purveyors of fine foods and wine. Open
until 2 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, this living monument to
gastronomy gives you some idea of just how important food is to
Madrileiios. From oysters to olives to jam6n to jewel~like postres,
expect only the freshest and most flavorful morsels.
Jorge Juan Street is the place for shopaholics with the urge to
burn through some euros and come home with beautiful Spanish
fashion items. Yes, it's pricey compared to America's designer outlet
malls, but there are deals to be had and keepsakes worth the outlay,
if you believe in souvenirs that do more than gather dust.
Life without art is no life at all-that's clearly a belief held by
the residents of Madrid, because culture is everywhere you turn.
Get lost at the Reina Sofia Museum, Madrid's answer to the
Centre Pompidou in Paris; or the CaixaForum, Madrid's answer
to MoMA. The Fundaci6n Mapfre has top~notch exhibits, from
the dazzling Jean Paul Gaultier retrospective to Impressionists
and Post~ Impressionists, which locals queue around the block
to see.
And Madrid has lovely city blocks. Stroll around the city and
take in the wonders of Spanish urban planning. Paseo del Prado
is a historic and leafy boulevard evoking the Champs Elysees, and
CentroCentro is a fascinating cultural drop~in center that announces
the importance of culture in everyday life. And with so much cul~
tivation and queerness on offer it's no wonder Madrid won the bid
for World Pride 2017 (esmadrid.com). •
II
Montreal. Even the dodgy downtown area
I walked through on the way to the main drag
showed me its true colors as I joined a motley crew of hookers, hipsters, students and the
homeless, allbarreling around the semi-European
streets together. I bought a pack of cigarettes to
give away, instead of money, and was repaid in
brief and grateful conversations with toothless Francophones who assumed that I was a
Francophone too.
In my happy-go-lucky state I stumbled across
a Heritage-listed building completely given over
to an art exhibition by street artists. The city
had let them have it for a season to show off the
local talent. Hey there, Montreal.
The highlight of Day Two was a tour of
Montreal by Ruby Roy. She's very easy to find
online and knows absolutely everything about
Hip and happening Montreal comes alive for Pride.
the city. Should you venture to Montreal, I
By Jess McAvoy
strongly suggest you get in touch with Ruby.
She will answer every single question with the
perfect balance of information and grace.
ant to take a trip to Montreal for
It was a day of fantastic learning experiences. Have you ever
Pride?" asked my editor.
had a ground cherry? A bagel from Fairmont's? Maple taffy? The
I'd never actively participated in
Montreal markets were amazing.
a Pride before, coming from Perth,
Australia, one of the world's most
The official girls' party that night was very well put together. DJ
Mary Hell and DJMariana Morales were absolutely solid, and
isolated cities, and in general disliking
their tunes would have made me dance, ifl weren't trying extra hard
crowds. But this would be a VIP opporto look cool.
tunity at one of North America's most
I left to meet up with my new friend Jeff. We wandered into
cosmopolitan Prides, complete with backstage passes to help me
a huge club full of gay boys, where we were let in as VIPs, either
avoid the crowds. It would also be an opportunity to speak a decidbefore or after too many rounds of white wine and tequila shots.
edly different flavor of French, and to discover Canada. My answer
Don't ask. It's Pride.
was,"Um, yes!"
The next morning, I sat staring at my shadow for half an hour
Straight off the plane I was met by a jolly old man dressed in
as people bustled around me under the canopy of pink balls that
a vest, looking not unlike the Wizard of Oz (Frank Morgan, not
James Franco), and holding a sign reading "Mr. Jess McAvoy:' provides the ceiling for the Gay Village during Pride.
In the vacant lot behind me, two dozen women were laying out
Chatting in his delightful Quebecois accent, he took me by limo
to the doorstep of the gorgeous, modern and tasteful Hotel Zero L an array of handmade "holes on sticks;' various representations of
The women at the reception desk impressed me by not only having
glorious vaginas, custom-made for the First Official Montreal Dyke
a sense of humor but also letting me practice my French. Press
March, in which I was about to take part.
packet in tow-handed
over as if to a secret agent-I took the
To be honest with you, it was an intimidating start the dayhangover aside-having
to choose the vagina that would best
elevator to my very clean, very white, very lovely room.
74
CURVE
JUNE
2013
represent me as I walked through the village shouting pro~lesbian
chants and slogans in French. It was a hell of a lot of fun once I got
over mysel£ chose a big pink ejaculating vagina, and marched very,
very proudly.
That night was the signature show, C'est la Fete, with loads of
dancing, singing and performances-though
I was busy hanging
out with all the new friends I met in the VIP section. That's the
thing. You put a bunch of like~minded people in a cage at a big
queer party with free booze and they will all become very fast
friends. Well, I will anyway.
Sunday. Bloody Sunday.
Jeff and I found each other first thing, to combat a rather con~
fusing hangover. You know the kind-"Whaaaaaaa
happened?"
We stumbled into the world to pick up some Coronas and hearty,
greasy poutine for breakfast, to consume over delicious conversa~
tion on the hotel patio. We then dribbled downstairs to the massive
Pride Parade that was slowly assembling on the street below.
Pride. It's the demonstration of extremes. It's making the
choice to be visibly open about our struggles and commonalities.
Everyone is unique, and these parties celebrate that uniqueness
and do it loudly. Like choosing a vagina, it's intimidating some~
times. But each time I allow myself to participate, and to acknowl~
edge that I am part of this community, I feel a little bit closer to
accepting myself.
Montreal and I have fallen in love. It's tempting to move here,
but I'm glad I haven't. I would never need or want to go any~
where else.•
MEET
MONTREArs
QUEER
OF
THE
YEAR
Cuban-Mexican bombshell
Ivette Gonzalez-Ale of Brooklyn, N.Y.,won Queer of the
Year 2012 after surviving three
weeks of caught-on-tape
competition with four other
competitors. Ivette is the first
female to receive the honor,
after winning hearts and votes
throughout the summer competition. Part of her $5,000
winnings will go toward her
genderqueer fashion
company, Marimacho,
and she plans to return to
Montreal for a photo shoot,
some sizzling summer events,
and fun in the fall, including
the Black & Blue Festival and
image+nation, the 24th Annual
Montreal International LGBT
Film Festival.
of bare-skinned summer diversions.
Artistic and cultural activities including
exhibitions, concerts, street art, cuisine
and public celebrations will be synced with
EuroPride festivities.
After the festivities, get back to nature in
the national park and waterways along the
coastline. Or explore the famous Aix-enProvence, Aries, Avignon, Montpellier and
Saint-Tropez and the French Riviera.
Over 60 towns in Provence are connected via train, shuttle bus or rental car
from the airport.
The West Mediterranean is only a cruise
away: Barcelona, Valencia, Malaga, Roma,
Marseille, most famous for being the second-largest city in France after Paris, and
the gateway to the South of France, and
basking in its 300 days of Mediterranean
sunshine per year, is this year's EuroPride
location. This summer, from July 10-20,
the city will adorn itself in rainbow colors
and 200 local establishments will partner
with EuroPride Marseille to make rainbow
revelers feel extra welcome. Provence
for Pride? We say "oui!" Here's what's on
the menu:
Ten days of queer pride sees the cultural
and military center known as the Friehe de
la Belle de Mai-used for expositions, military stands, conferences, forums, cinema
and theater-become the hub of all the
festivities.
Docks des Suds is the location for
EuroPride Club and its 11parties, including
Europe's biggest, clubeuropride.com.
For the first time in EuroPride history there
will be a beach completely dedicated to the
festival with aquatic games and a whole lot
Pisa. Marseille is the leading French port
with more than 1 million cruise passengers
expected in 2013 and a choice of cruise
companies and departure days from May.
This summer, XL Airways France operates a new direct flight between JFK and
Marseille-Provence Airport twice weekly.
So hey, East Coast queer girls, Provence,
the sun-soaked, lavender-scented destination of your dreams has never been closer,
and neither has its women. For more
information go to europride2013.com,
flyprovence.com or marseille-airport.com.
- Merryn Johns
JUNE
2013
CURVE
75
MY SUMMERIN
PROVINCETOWN
I arrived in mid~May, during
Single Women's Weekend, and
decided it was a good time to head
out, alone, and start to meet peo~
ple. Sadly, there is no lesbian bar
in Provincetown, but the PiedBar
often holds women's theme nights
and dances. I'd been told that in
this town everyone knows everyone,
and I found it to be laughably true
that night. The first person whom
I introduced myself to came from
my hometown, was best friends
with the only person I knew in
Provincetown, and worked for the
woman who produced most of the
lesbian events in town. A very good
Vacationing in the gayest place on earth.
thing about small~town life is that once you meet one person, you're
By Kathy Beige
introduced around. My first night out on the town was a success: I'd
started making connections.
"There are so many miracles that happen here every day;' says
arrived in Provincetown around the same time as Barney,
Molnar, the creator of Provincetown for Women. Provincetown is
the Cape Cod bear. Barney was a refugee from western
Massachusetts and a big media star for a few months last sum~ not Utopia, but there is something freeing about the place: There's
mer. He was seen, as one woman described it, loping along
the natural beauty of Cape Cod, but also the beauty of the commu~
nity. "It's one of the only places you can walk anywhere holding your
like a happy puppy, stopping to rub his back against a tree.
People claimed it was the first time a bear had ever been seen
girlfriend's hand and not be afraid. And you don't need a certain
body type to be accepted here;' Molnar adds.
on the cape, and suggested he came in search of somethingWhat she says was true: I experienced a few miracles. Just some
perhaps a mate.
of the highlights of my summer were skinny dipping under a blaz~
I felt a kinship with that bear. I came out to this tiny town on
the tip of Massachusetts from my home in the Pacific Northwest
ing sunset with a rowdy group of women; seeing two humpback
whales breach simultaneously on a whale watch; and giving author
searching for something, too. I wasn't quite sure what: That's the
way it is when you're searching, I guess.
Armistead Maupin a copy of Queer, my book for teens, which he
I knew that I needed a change of scenery, to step outside my life later told me he was enjoying. I loved taking bike trails through the
dunes and beaches, where I would clear my head and get my heart
and get a new perspective. Provincetown seemed like a good place
rate up. I saw a red fox run across the path, heard a coyote howl~
to do that: It's an LGBT mecca, with the highest percentage of
same~sex~couple households in the United States. Domestic bliss, ing, watched a box turtle inch its way across a sandy hill, and swam
in the warm Atlantic Ocean almost every day in July. I celebrated
it seems, is never out of season, but lots of queers come just for the
my birthday at Essentials, the convenience store
summer, seeking work, inspiration, love or just a
PROVINCETOWN
2013 that's like a town square. Though it's a tiny store,
good time.
the owner, Laura Lenza, hosts creative contests
I'd lined up a sweet job working for the comic
MAY
17-19
and even dance parties.
Kate Clinton, and found a reasonably affordable
Single Women's Weekend
Summer seemed to fly by in a blur of tea
room, which was hard. My landlady, who had
womeninnkeepers.com
dances, drag queens' snarky remarks, salty
arrived 33 years ago and never left, told me,"Your
24-27
Memorial Day Weekend,
swims and fried clams. As October came, the
first summer is always your best:' In the hours I
aka Baby Dyke Weekend,
days
grew shorter and the nights got colder
wasn't working, I planned to explore the cape by
provincetownforwomen.com
bike (I didn't bring a car) and spend time writing
and I thought of Barney and felt the need to
May 30-June 2
Women of Color & Friends Weekend
hibernate. The beaches were windswept and
in the beautiful Provincetown Public Library.
womenofcolorweekend.com
The summer in Provincetown follows a cal~
deserted. A cold sideways rain made my bike
JULY
commute miserable, and even the once~vibrant
endar of lesbian theme weeks. There's Single
23-27
Women's Weekend, Women of Color and Friends
Commercial Street was dark and chilly. It was
Girl Splash
time to head home.
Weekend, Baby Dyke Weekend, Carnival Week,
girl-splash.com
Family Week, Girl Splash, and Women's Week,
Did Barney ever find what he was looking
AUGUST
for? Sadly, he was trapped mid~summer outside
which the comic Mimi Gonzalez calls "the pot
3-10
Family Week
of Wellfleet and sent back to the woods of west~
of gold at the end of the dirty rainbow:' There's
familyequality.org
em Mass. He kept searching, though, because he
something in Provincetown for almost anyone,
OCTOBER
whether you like hiking, birding, sailing, whale
took off again and showed up weeks later in the
14-20
suburbs of Boston. For my part, I found every~
watching, sunbathing, arts and culture, music or
Annual Women's Week
a lively club scene.
thing I'd gone to Provincetown for, and more. •
womeninnkeepers.com
76
CURVE
JUNE 2013
V •ISi·t. •• Sweden
www.visitsweden.com
~
Stockholm
The Capitalof Scandinavia
Im
Scandinavian
Airlines
Summer Sippers
A seasonal selection perfect for parties and picnics.
BY GEORGIA KROKUS
k-
... .C/
),:.,
GA
coG~E
Chill Out
Viva l'Egalite
Head to the beach, pool or park
with a Chill It Bag on the hottest
summer day and keep your favorite
beverage cool. Fun and functional,
just freeze the bag and pop in your
wine, spirits, sodas, beers, even your
olive oil, to keep them cool and fresh
until they're ready to be enjoyed.
($10 and up, amazon.com)
The first nationally-distributed
bubbly created in support of LGBT
equality pops its cork! Egalite, an
impressive Cremant from Burgundy,
France, the next best thing to
Champagne, features notes of
peach and honey blossom, with
a clean, dry finish. Perfect as a
celebratory toast or aperitif.
($24, egalitewines.com)
Love liquid
Out of South Africa comes Lovoka, a
new liqueur made from triple-distilled
vodka. Liquid gold in color and tasting
of buttery caramel, rich toffee and
pure vanilla this sexy tipple will get
you revved up for your midsummer
night's eve. Do shots (the aluminum
bottle makes it extra easy to chill) or
create your own seductive cocktail.
($28, luvlovoka.com)
Proud As a Peacock
Can't get to Marseille for EuroPride?
You can still enjoy the South of
France in a bottle. Muscat grapes
infused with orange blossom is the
flavor of summer, and Pavan, named
after the mating dance of the peacock,
is the perfect base for citrusy, thirstquenching cocktails to be enjoyed
poolside or post-Pride parade.
($30, pavan-liqueur.com)
White Light
As temperatures rise and you head
outdoors for fun in the sun, pair your
picnic spread with a chilled bottle
of Tariquet Classic by Demaine du
Tariquet. This light, pocket-friendly,
refreshing white wine is low in
alcohol (11percent) and calories, and
boasts delicate floral and citrus
notes with a dry, clean finish. Perfect
pairing: seafood salad or chicken
Caesar. ($9, tariquet.com)
Get Hooked
Crack open 12 ounces of carbonated
Pride with a gay-friendly pint from
Red Hook IPA. Our pick for summer
sipping is their ESB (Extra Special
Bitter) because, as the good people
at Red Hook say, "You can't spell
'lesbian' without ESB."This tasty,
crowd-pleasing amber brew combines caramel malt sweetness and
citrusy hops. ($2, redhook.com) •
MARKtTP
GotKids?WantKids?
Subscribe to Gay Parent magazine,
a leader in gay parenting resources.
Visit our website
www.gayparentmag.com
e.1yPA,ent. oo·~'1
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JUNE
2013
CURVE
79
TLOOKtSTARS
Summer Lovin'
June brings flirtatious and fickle Gemini energy.
BY CHARLENE LICHTENSTEIN
Aries (March 21-April 20)
GEMINI %
%
%
Lesbian Twins are %
%
the "earn and burn" %
types when it comes %
to finances. She is %
%
far more interested %
in the excitement of %
%
money and what it %
can buy rather than its %
long-term power and %
%
ease. She is also rather %
generous with her %
%
possessions. For these %
reasons she is apt to %
%
squander her payload %
as fast as she can %
grab it Save for a rainy %
%
day? Forgetaboutit %
sisterl These generous %
%
sisters a re more than %
willing to pick up the %
tab for the party, but %
%
they are also the ones %
who "inadvertently" %
%
leave their wallets %
at home Maybe it's %
because they are so %
%
adamant about being %
popular that they have %
%
a hard time saying no. %
%
%
Charlene
Lichtenstein
istheauthor%
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Aries gals are so energized by
their ideas that they are happy
to share them with any and all.
Who knows where your seeds
of genius will land and take
root? But when it comes to
home issues, less talk and more
action is required now. Show
her that you are more than a
gush of hot air.
(May 22-June 21)
80
CURVE
JUNE
2013
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
There is money to be made
this June by focusing your
quick mind on your conservative financial aptitude. So stop
hoarding your dough and make
it work for you. Money is honey
and you will have a gaggle of
admirers as your market spread
widens. Of course there may
be some ladies who will love
you through thick and thin, too.
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
Not only are you the center
of attention this June, you are
also able to use your charisma
to push your influence out into
many new and powerful circles.
The women who you meet now
can help you amass more prestige and participants for any
long-term personal project you
may have.
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
Secrets abound and swirl
around you this June. You
may be surprised at what you
discover. So be especially
perceptive and be sure to note
any changes-even seemingly
minor ones-in your personal
landscape. The fact is that
there is a great opportunity for
you just waiting to be plucked
and plumbed.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Gal pals find ways to lead you
off track and into mindless but
fun activities this June. Go with
the flow, Lioness, and discover
how flexible (and relaxed) you
can be when you are not the
leader of the pack. One thing
can lead to another and before
you know it, a mystery woman
makes herself known to you.
How well you get to know her is
entirely up to you.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Career prospects are looking
up and why not? You have been
working hard polishing your
corporate image to a rosy glow.
Now make things happen professionally. Whether that means
a promotion, raise or new job
depends on what you really
want from all of this effort.
Girlfriends in high places can
make your decision a bit easier.
Maybe you will work under one
of them.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
They love you at your job but
is the feeling reciprocated?
Aren't you just a bit bored and
overworked? Your mind has
been wandering recently and
you are in need of some fresh
scenery and stimuli. June is a
good time for an early summer
fling whether it is far afield or
something (or someone) different around the corner. Pique
your imagination and see who
picks you.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Relationships heat up and
anything good (or bad) is
amplified. That means that
if you can accentuate the
positive, you two can become
closer. But if you harp on the
negatives, you may find that a
brief break is the solution. For
those Sagittarians on the hoof,
there are some spicy dishes
being served at a buzz-worthy
club near you.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
It is never too late to get
ready for swimsuit season.
But that means that you have
to review your health, diet
and exercise regimes to see
what you need to do. Toning
not only does wonders for
you physically, it will also
recharge your overall attitude
and give you that extra oomph
to meet, greet and sweep the
ladies off their feet.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
Let the good times roll this
June. Your capacity for fun
and frolic grows with your
ability to schmooze your way
into any festive event. And
you can add a lot to the party
with your creative flourishes.
Use the month to fill in your
calendar for a string of
summer romances.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
Just as you think things are in
place and your life is neatly
segmented, an exotic enchantress sweeps you off your feet
and leads you on an adventure-if you take the bait. This
scenario has all the elements:
passion, foreign intrigue, power
and desire. If the risk seems
too high, at least find ways of
getting out of your moldy routine even if it is just going to a
foreign chick flick.
Plan some memorable homebased get-togethers this June
and see who stops by to get
together. You will find that
there is more fun to be had in
familiar homey spaces where
you can run "wilde." And if you
are looking for a change of
environment, try changing it
from the inside out by redecorating or remodeling. Even
better, how about decorating
out models?
,.
.
'
.
..
~
....
J
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