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Description
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ToC Putting the "T" in Laughter by Elizabeth Estochen (p36); Dani Girl (p38); Lauren Russell (p42); Beautiful Bodies (p52); Portrait of a Trans Man by Dave Steinfeld (p64) Cover: Beth Ditto [The Gossip]: Cover Story: She's a Riot by Rachel Shatto (p68); Cover Photo by Rankin.
See all items with this value
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issue
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4
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Date Issued
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May 2013
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol23_No4_May-2013_OCR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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WIN
A PERSONAL
PLEASURE PACK!
DETAILS INSIDE
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~BEST
"' "'
PLACES TO WORK
2013
for LGBT Equality
MAY
2013
FEATURES
36
PUTTING THE "T" IN LAUGHTER
Trans comic Ian Harvie spills the
secret on how to get through
life and come out laughing.
By Elizabeth Estochen
38
DANI GIRL
Step aside Justin Beiber, lezzie
look-alike Dani Shay has stepped
out of the pop star's shadow and
into the limelight. By Jenny Block
32
BEAUTIFUL BODIES
We shine a light on the
wonderful bodies that make
up our diverse community with
profiles of boundary defying
burlesque performers, body
activists and a transgender
beauty queen.
6~
PORTRAIT OF A TRANS MAN
Cliks singer Lucas Silveira
continues to evolve as an
artist, as a man and as a lover.
By Dave Steinfeld
68
SHE'S A RIOT
In Curve's first-ever interview
with the out superstar, Gossip
frontwoman Beth Ditto opens
up about her traumatic early life
in small-town Arkansas, finding
feminism and loving her body.
By Rachel Shatto
COVER PHOTO BY RANKIN
MAY
2013
CURVE
1
MAY
2013
14
IN EVERYISSUE
6
EDITOR'S NOTE
8
FEEDBACK
9
CURVETTES
10
THE GAYDAR
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////A
TRENDS
REVIEWS
11 THIS IS WHAT A
LESBIAN LOOKS LIKE
29
Musician Dineen Laurel.
12
GIFT GUIDE
Love your body with products
to pamper, please and tease
the skin you're in.
14
HOT TEE
FILM
Filmmaker Lauren Lubin
unbinds gender with a
personal journey of transition
in We Exist. By Kim Hoffman
33
Singer Martha Wainwright
proves you can go home
with her intimate new album.
16
LESBOFILE
By Dave Steinfeld
17
SHE SAID
35
MUSIC
TECH
VIEWS
Let the undead spice up your
humdrum exercise routine
with the Zombies, Run! app.
18
OUT IN FRONT
By Rachel Shatto
18
IN CASE YOU MISSED
POLITICS
In an increasingly genderqueer world, what does
gender even mean today?
By Victoria A. Brownworth
22
THE TWO OF US
Our monthly profile of
lesbian couples who live,
love and work together.
24
MAY 2013
31
graphic novel exploring
FTM sexuality.
19
CURVE
BOOKS
Kanithea Powell explores
female masculinity in her new
book Butch. By Kim Hoffman
15 HOT PICK
Transposes is an engaging
IT... News from across the
country.
2
10
LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
STYLE
44
ANIMAL MAGNETISM
A queer Melbourne designer
has a flair for fitting fuller
figures. By Merryn Johns
48 FROM RUSSIA
WITH LOVE
Rubin Singer's haute couture
is for everyone from curvy
divas like Beyonce and Queen
Latifah to real women like you.
By Merryn Johns
Curve's online selection of must-do, must-try, must-have extras.
LESBIANS
WHOTECH
TEA TIME WITH MICHELLE TEA
Curve caught up with San Francisco's literary
star, Michelle Tea, who has become a punk dyke
inspiration with honest and heartbreaking works
such as Valencia, Rent Girl and The Chelsea Whistle.
Founder of traveling queer poetry group, Sister
Spit, and artistic enabler RADAR Productions, Tea
discusses her upcoming young fantasy series, the
Valencia movie, writing Beth Ditto's memoir and
getting pregnant in the modern age.
HELL BENT
FOR LEATHER
Lesbian detective fiction got a
whole new twist (or should we
say kink) with The Killer Wore
Leather, a tongue-in-cheek
murder mystery set in the fetish
subculture. Written by lesbian
author and fetish specialist
Laura Antoniou, this fresh,
funny S&M thriller is an astutely
observed satire set in a world
we know oh-so-well.
4
CURVE
MAY 2013
QUEER QUEENS
OF COMEDY
The irrepressible Poppy Champlin is
gearing up for a silly Spring season of
mirth with shows through April and
May. From Nashville to Indianapolis to
New Jersey, Champlin and her funny
ladies Mimi Gonzales, Sapna Kumar,
Jessica Kirson, Merilyn Pittman and
Erin Foley tour their zany brand of
comedy all across the country. And it's
time to lighten up, ladies! Meet some
of Champlin's hand-picked comedic
talent and get ready to laugh out loud.
The next generation
of lesbian networking
has arrived! Lesbians
Who Tech is a new
monthly gathering of
women in the queer
community who
work in and around
tech, chatting over
drinks. Based in San
Francisco, LWT has
now branched out
into New York City
with more events to
be announced. Get
your geek on and
maybe meet the girl
of your dreams.
There's "natural" - and there's
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__ u___,,
RONT IMERRYN'S
MEMO
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
Body of Work
MAY 2013
»
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME
23 NUMBER
4
PUBLISHERSilke Bader
FOUNDINGPUBLISHERFrances Stevens
EDITORIAL
ince the dawn of time, a standard of female beauty (its form and
function), has been determined by every element of society, it seems,
but women themselves. Lesbian women in particular have a compli~
cared relationship with their bodies, for they are not 'Just" female:
they may embody other attributes that make their physical identity
hard for society to interpret: femme, butch, androgynous, queer, trans. And
then the topic of procreation opens up an additional Pandora's box!
I was 7 years of age when I realized I was a lesbian (although I did not
know the word), and this realization came to me through my tomboy body:
the way I felt when I looked at girls versus boys, the sense of elation and nau~
sea when I realized I was very different from my pint~size peers and the road
ahead would prove challenging for me.
The corporeal course of a lesbian life is complex: There is no road map
from menstruation to procreation, no model for identity and desirability. We
make it up as we go along, with help from our community. In this I find
a great source of pride and concern. Sometimes we're warriors, sometimes
we're victims.
So, it was very important to me
in compiling our first annual Body
issue that I celebrate the most mis~
understood members of the lesbian
community: plus~size women and
trans men.
In this issue, I have found so
many folks who, had they existed
earlier in my lesbian life, could have
made it easier, from the brilliant,
bold Beth Ditto to the insight~
ful and evolving Lucas Silveira.
Interesting side note: Both Ditto
and Silveira are engaged to women
who identify as lesbian, proving
that, as different as we may seem,
our identities overlap joyfully.
As I read the articles written by and about such fabulous folks, I realized
that whether you are a fat femme or a former lesbian who now identifies
as a guy, you and I have something in common-our
bodies, and what we
want from them versus what society expects from them. We all meet at the
same place on that elusive roadmap, and the only way forward is to love
our bodies, whatever they are. Size and sex are not the issue but, as in all
journeys, spirit is.
S
~·
MERZs
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
merryn@curvemag.com
6
CURVE
MAY 2013
EDITORIN CHIEF Merryn Johns
MANAGINGEDITOR Rachel Shatto
BOOKREVIEWEDITOR Rachel Pepper
COPYEDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Jillian Eugenics, Sheryl Kay, Jess McAvoy,
Stephanie Schroeder
EDITORIALASSISTANTSElizabeth Estochen, Rekara Gage,
Liz Nguyen, Molly Williams
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONSLaura McConnell
ADVERTISING
EASTCOASTSALES
Robin Perron (910) 795-0907, robin@curvemagazine.com
NATIONALSALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
BUSINESSDEVELOPMENT
Sallyanne Monti {510) 545-4986, sallyanne@curvemag.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ARTDIRECTORStefanie Liang
PRODUCTIONARTIST Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Jenny Block, Adam L.
Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Traci
Dinwiddie, Maria De La 0, Jill Goldstein, Lisa Gunther,
Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall, Kim Hoffman, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Jess
McAvoy, Ariel Messman-Rucker, Emelina Minero, Laurie
K. Schenden, Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson,
Allison Steinberg, Stella & Lucy, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull,
Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce, Tina Vasquez, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Erica Beckman, Meagan Cignoli, JD
Disalvatore, Sophia Hantzes, Lara Hotz, Syd London,
Cheryl Mazak, Maggie Parker, Leslie Van Stelten
CONTACT INFO
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Volume 23 Issue 4 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published
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or photograph of any persons or organizations appearing,
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Fantasy Girls
Thank you for the excellent
and humorous interview with
Lauren and Bo ["Our Fantasy
Girls;'Vol. 23#3]. I am begin~
ning to think that you all at
Curve have the power to read
my mind. I was just thinking
the other month that I'd like
to hear from TV's hottest
lesbian couple, and there it
was, right in my inbox! Keep
it coming. -DJ. Clarke,
Newstead, N.J.
Looking Good
I want to commend you for
the wonderful redesign of the
magazine. For the three years
I have been a subscriber, the
design has always been a sore
spot. I was a graphic designer
for many years and every time
I would get a new Curve, I
would wince and think, "Come
on, lesbians, we can do better
than this:' Now, you have.
Bravo! -Elaine Benken,
Indianapolis, Ind.
Tantalizing Travel
Your Travel issue [Vol. 23#2]
is going to create a riot in
my house. We are constantly
debating where to go next and
your images have introduced
more wander~lusted~after
locales. Thanks for that!
-Morgan C., New York City.
You Sexy Thing
I like that Curve is getting
sexier. I would like to see even
more articles on sex advice and
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
HOW
DO
YOU
FEEL
ABOUT
3%
What body?
YOUR
BODY?
Curve magazine,
New York, NY 10034
WRITE
LISIPO Boxto:467,
Send
Email: letters@curvemagazine.com
Fax: 510.380.7487
Online: curvemag.com/letters
8
CURVE
MAY 2013
relationships because we can't
get this information anywhere
else and since I'm a newbie
to the lesbian dating scene
I need all the help I can get.
Especially on situations like
what to do if your partner is a
survivor of sexual abuse, how
to explore non~monogamy,
etc. -Paloma M. Estes,
New York City.
''
I am beginning
to think that you
all at Curve have
the power to
read my mind.
''
TheBigO
Thank you for your travel arti~
de on Orlando ["Outstanding
Orlando;' Vol. 23#3]. Yes, I
can recommend folks coming
here for vacation, as you men~
tioned in the article there are
plenty of things to do and see.
As a permanent resident I may
be biased but I also think it's
a great place to live for queer
people and naturally I'd love
to see even more lesbians here
at Phish Fest. -Paula Lopez,
Orlando, Fla.
CORRECTION
In "Dining at The Dalloway;'
[Vol. 23#3] the photo cap~
tion incorrectly identified
Kim Stolz and guests. It was
Amanda Leigh Dunn.
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Love Lost Girl. My fav TV
show. Bo is to die for.
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I'm gonna have to get
a subscription to this
magazine again.
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I agree! - Jennifer Buba/a
Watching the show right
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Best cover in a long
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Best cover at all!
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RACHELSHATTO
Managing editor Rachel Shatto
is a pop culture junkie with a
soft spot for horror and sci-fi
flicks, cheesy reality TV and
all things lesbian. She's an
avid gamer, cat fancier, a craft
maker and proud geek. She is
also co-host of the Zombie Grrlz
Podcast, a feminist take on
the horror genre. In this issue
Rachel had the opportunity to
interview one of her personal
idols, cover girl Beth Ditto
(page 68). "It's so much fun to
speak to someone you admire
and come away from it with
an even deeper appreciation
for them as a person. Beth
Ditto's determination to be
unapologetically who she is
makes her a powerful force for
women and queers."
ELIZABETH
ESTOCHEN
Curve's editorial assistant
Elizabeth Estochen lives in
San Francisco with her feline
sidekick, Nachos. Her passion
for writing helped her earn her
a degree in journalism from
the College of Charleston (she
minored in Italian studies, ciao
be/la!). She has contributed
to alt weekly The Charleston
City Paper and helped publish
a 500-page research novel,
In Search of Gentle Death. In
this issue, Elizabeth delves
into exploring and accepting
your body with trans comic
extraordinaire Ian Harvie on
page 36.
AMY B. SCHER
Amy B. Scher is an energy
therapy practitioner with
offices in Los Angeles and
Monterey, Calif. She is a
frequent contributor to
healthcare biogs and has
presented to groups including
the Department of Psychiatry
and Behavioral Sciences
at Stanford University. Her
memoir, This is How I Saved
My Life, traces her journey to a
clinic in India to treat her lifethreatening and misdiagnosed
disease. Read her story of
finding healing and true love on
page 74. (amybscher.com)
CHARLENE
LICHTENSTEIN
Super stargayzer Charlene
Lichtenstein amazingly predicts
our future every issue with her
Curve horoscope (page 80).
While her private celebrity
client list cannot be revealed,
she is the author of the bestselling astrology sun sign
book HerScopes: A Guide to
Astrology for Lesbians (now
available as an e-book). Her
horoscopes appear in LGBT
publications worldwide as well
as on her blog at thestarryeye.
typepad.com. She hosted a
real time astrology program on
the Washington Post website,
has astrologically advised on
GAYBC radio and has been
interviewed on radio stations in
Australia, New York and Ireland.
MAY 2013
CURVE
9
DS
Holy moly, it's a miracle.
Former Westboro Baptist
Church member Lauren Drain
poses for the NOH8 campaign
Former first lady Laura Bush asks
to have her pro-same-sex-marriage
clip removed from a marriage
equality ad. Of all the many, many
things the Bush's should recant, this
rare moment of clarity ain't one
The first out
lesbian UFC fighter,
Liz Carmouche, may
have lost her first bout
but we still think she's
a knockout
CURVE
MAY 2013
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HONORARY
LIFFETIME
LESBIAN
MEMBERSHIP
_J
Get ready to cheat
on your usual
Wednesday night
TV show with
Mistresses, which
premieres this
month and stars
Jes Macallan as
Josslyn, a realtor
that falls for one
of her lesbian
clients. Hot!
"'
0
f(f)
~
~
2
<(
z
z
<(
Our fantasies
come true again!
Syfy's Lost Girl is
renewed for another
steamy season
of hot Doccubus
action
Holy matrimony, Batwoman!
That's right, the caped
crusader-ess proposed to her
girlfriend Maggie Sawyer
w
I
u
::,
0
~
<(
2
What's better than a
lesbian with tattoos?
Why a lesbian tattoo
shop employee of
course. Which is why
we are so stoked to
see Sassy of Black Ink
come out with a surprise visit from her ex
girlfriend on the show
10
Wonder where all the
dykes on bikes are in
Sons of Anarchy? In
prison apparently, as
series creator Kurt
Sutter confirms that
Tara is going to go
LURD (lesbian until
release date) in the
next season
0
The divine Cynthia
Nixon gets the
recognition she
deserves from Yale
University's Lesbian
Gay Bisexual
Transgender Alumni
Association with the
first-ever Artist for
Equality Award
We pick our jaws up off the floor
as prominent Republicans, led
by Jon Huntsman, sign a brief
in support same-sex marriage as
the case against Prop. 8 heads
to the Supreme Court and
proves that the arc of history
truly does bend toward justice
Ace of Cakes star Duff Goldman
gets a big ol' lesbro hug for
offering to make a lesbian
couple's wedding cake for free
after they were rejected by
their local bakery
u.J
Who said lesbians
aren't funny? The BBC's
Heading Out, about a
closeted veterinarian
forced by her friends to
come out, is just the dose
of witty, lezzie humor
you've been waiting for
~
i
!
"'
u.J
2:
~
Dineen Laurel
Out and proud Puerto Rican,
musical chameleon and full-time
student, 20-year-old Dineen Laurel is
singing to a generation of first-loves.
ON BECOMINGA MUSICIAN:When I was
about 4 years old, I remember loving the
way an electric guitar screamed, and the
scratching DJs used to do while spinning.
I especially loved watching the N.Y.C.
subway performers banging on drums and
I remember wanting to be a part of it all.
In the music industry as an independent
artist, I found myself taking on the roles
of writing, producing, editing, mixing,
recording and of course, promoting mYiself
and my music. I have a genuine love for
music, so I hate when it starts to feel like
a job with due dates. However, I do love
staying up late and grabbing my guitar,
and just having the ability to play whatever
sounds good to me ...lt's all about being
able to express myself whenever and
however I want.
ON THERELEASE
OF HERFIRSTALBUM:My
album Love is Love has been a diary for
me, as well as those who believe that love
has no gender. The basic story behind my
album is the typical teenage love affair,
with a twist. The song that really hits home
would be "The Secret." It explains how in
love I was with a girl who was in denial
about her sexuality. Although I never
actually got the chance to be with her,
our attempt to be together and to keep it
a secret was really what [the song] is all
about. I know way too many young people
who have been through this.
ON BEINGOUTIN THEMUSICINDUSTRY:
My family would rather me build my
reputation another way than "coming out,"
but I obviously didn't listen since it's my
foundation. I make music about my real
life situations, what I've been through, and
what others have been through. I'm proud
of who I am and of my sexual orientation;
I wouldn't want to hide that part of me
for any reason. I believe people should
be proud of who they are, and not hide
anything about themselves because being
unique is what makes an individual stand
out apart from the rest. -Kim Hoffman
MAY 2013
CURVE
11
NDStGIFT
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Tart Up Your Tatas
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Can't commit to permanent ink? Consider these
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This seductive love oil is
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Give your inner child a sudsy treat with
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Almond oil and cheery multi-colored jojoba
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Pamper yourself head to toe
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Wash, Seven Seas Sublime
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Argan Oil hair serum. ($20,
inventiveecoorganic.com)
To keep those follicles fancy,
spoil them with Macadamia
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Masque. This revitalizing hair
salve utilizes macadamia,
argon, tea tree, and chamomile
oils, aloe and algae extracts to
reconstruct and nourish damaged hair. ($33, ulta.com)
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Get your skin ready for summer
with emerginC Scientific
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This 100 percent natural, 70
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product sold, emerginC plants a
tree with Plant-It 2020.
($45, emerginc.com)
Friend of Dorothy
Need to unwind? Nothing beats a hot bubble bath except
maybe a bath with Lush's Relax...Take A Bath gift set featuring a
Golden Slumbers fizzing bath bomb, the massively moisturizing
Dreamtime bath melt and brilliantly bubbling Dorothy
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CURVE
MAY 2013
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Treat Your Tootsies
When you're showing your
body love, don't forget your
feet! We suggest Karess
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which comes complete with
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with sea salt and menthol,
pampering Foot Patrol soap
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shell and pumice powders
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Hours Foot Cream.
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13
NDS/
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14
CURVE
MAY 2013
TRENDS/
Strike a Pose
An engaging graphic novel explores FTM sexuality.
BY SASSAFRAS LOWREY
0
ylan Edwards' Transposes, a non-
begins pre-transition, and watch as his
fiction graphic novel published
lesbian girlfriend lovingly encourages, and
by Northwest Press, brings to life
outright pushes her partner to work on
on the page the experiences of
their questions about gender. When Adam
seven transgender men who are exploring
does and comes out as male, she realizes
"gay, bisexual or otherwise non-straight"
she can no longer be romantically involved
sexualities.
with him, and the two split. In another
Transposes includes a thoughtful fore-
cis-man for a sexy hookup, later tests posi-
Alison Bechdel (Dykes to Watch Out For,
tive for an STI and grapples with having
Fun Home, Are You My Mother?), and
another "complicated thing to come out
covers new ground bringing readers into
about" to future sexual partners.
hopes, experiences and identities.
The characters Edwards depicts in
Anideal
book to give
to the 11ewly
out,queer
tra11stnan
i11your life.
story, Blake, a post-op trans man meets a
word by the esteemed lesbian cartoonist
the lives of these men and their anxieties,
HOT PIC
Edwards' clean black and white comic
style is very reminiscent of Bechdel's early
work and captivates readers around what
Transposes are drawn from interviews
can, to some, be uncomfortable themes.
he conducted with other FTMs, and their
The book depicts a wide array of sexual
stories have been enhanced for comic
experiences, from long-term committed
interpretation. Transposes helps give
monogamous couples, to the fun, nerves
readers an intimate understanding of what
and excitement of managing a one-time
it feels like to be learning sexuality over
hookup. An ideal book to give to the newly
again. We start with Adam, whose story
out, queer trans man in your life.
MAY 2013
CURVE
15
NDStGOSSIP
Russian Roulette
Jenni Farley, known more commonly as
JWoww ( or, rather, "the chick that's not
Snooki from jersey Shore"), has always been
open about her sexuality-but perhaps never
this out.
Describing her first lesbian experience
to Logo's That Sex Show, Farley gave quite
the Sapphic set-up: 21 years old, New York
City strip club, Russian stripper in the
boom boom room. But it turns out it wasn't
as sexy as it sounds (read: Saran Wrap as
a dental dam). So take heart, ladies: you're
not the only ones who had a less-than-ideal
first time.
Ladies Only
''All Hoes Everything" is your typical rap
song storyline: rapper has "hoes" in the
house, cooking breakfast and giving lap
dances. The curveball: It's Da Brat's new
song. You draw the conclusion.
Off-Court Pressure
Looks like there's heat on and off the court
for WNBA star Chamique Holdsclaw.
The former Sparks player has had a few
incidents last year involving ex-girlfriend
Jennifer Lacy (two words: ankle bracelet),
but this time around Holdsclaw has been
16
CURVE
MAY 2013
accused of bashing Lacy's car with a baseball bat and then firing a gun inside the
car while her ex was in the driver's seatall purportedly because she was pissed
that the two had broken up, according to
sources close to Lacy. With all the crimes
she's charged for, Holdsclaw could be spending up to 65 years behind bars.
We think this one wins the award for
Worst Break-Up Story Ever.
Never Say Never
You're never too old to swing both ways, as
70-plus Joan Rivers proves. The comedy
legend revealed her first lesbian experience
was with a woman introduced to her by
friends Lily Tomlin and Jane Lynch at a dinner party. However, it apparently was like
Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" and
"I don't know if I liked it, or if I
didn't like it;' Rivers says.
Different strokes for different folks-but we won't
hold it against the self-proclaimed Queen of Gays.
Would You Rather
Cowboy boots, tattoo sleeves,
girls with French bulldogswe all have discriminating taste
when it comes to lovers. And for Jillian
Michaels, some of this was revealed on
Bravo's Watch What Happens Live!
Playing a game of "which nerd would
you bang;' host Andy Cohen lobbed up
the quintessential pundit fantasy It Girl
Rachel Maddow. Surprisingly, Michaels
passed, saying she didn't like her "like that:'
But the fitness queen isn't turning
down everyone: former Secretary of State
Condeleezza Rice got a thumbs up.
Hey, no judgment.•
Joan Rivers
TRENDS/
"Oh, yes! I think there's a
whole underground culture of
women who cheat with other
women and get away with it. I
think they almost prefer that, in
a way, because they're getting
something different and
satisfied at the same time."
-Jackie Collins to The
Huffington Post
"I would like to play a
lesbian. I don't know why.
And do a whole makeout scene and the whole
thing; just something
completely different
than people would
expect from me.
Not a lipstick
lesbian either."
-Toni Braxton to
TheGrio
mt, "feminist
pejorativeterm. Howdi
t happen?If you'rea feminist,you're
basicallysayingyou'rea humanist.
That'swhythe issueof gay marriage
is so importantto me. It'sabout
everybodyhavingthe same
shotat everything,at work,
at marriage,at life."
-Golden Globewinner Julianne
Mooreto TheSunday flmes
SHEs
NDS/
PROFILE
Melanie Judge
SouthAfrica» LGBTRightsActivist
The Constitution of South Africa, Melanie Judge's
homeland, explicitly affirms the right to equality and
non-discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation
and gender, so you'd think life would be very comfortable for the lesbians who live there. Sadly, this is not
the reality. "The most enduring legacies of apartheid
and colonialism are violence and an intolerance of difference," says Judge. "Laws and regulations alone don't
end prejudice. They don't change how the [culture of]
sexual, economic and political [injustice] operates."
I ~~I!~~~~~i~!f~tl~~L~
r;!f
~ ~ ~ry
service members. These benefits will include the
right to visit their loved ones 1nmilitary hospitals
and to participate in family support groups on military bases. "It is a matter of fundamental equity
that we provide similar benefits to all of those men
and women in uniform who serve their country."
South Africa, Judge explains, has one of the highest
levels of violence against women in the world. In such
a patriarchal society, sexual violence is used routinely
to control women's bodies and lives. Lesbians, in
particular, are targeted when they don't conform
to feminine stereotypes. Lesbians also encounter
prejudice when they turn to the police and the courts,
seeking justice. Therefore, Judge says, the task at
hand is to transform human relations, to expand the
THE
VIRGINIA
STATE
SENATE community
passed SB701,a bill that 1fenacted
will grant LGBTresidents of the
state protection against discr1m1natIon In the workplace. The bill
Is being led by Adam Ebb1n,
V1rg1nia's
first openly gay state
senator, and will now move on to
the more conservative House
freedom of choice to be different, which is the life-
AYMCA
INTYLER,
TEXAS,
blood of any democracy.
For the past 13 years, Judge has been leading that
revolution at home and overseas, working on law and
policy reform, and training and research initiatives in
the fields of HIV/AIDS. She is a former senior staffer at
two leading LGBT organizations (OUT LGBT Well-being
and the Lesbian and Gay Equality Project), and currently works with several nonprofit organizations and
donors, focusing on advocacy, strategic communications, and research to advance the cause of social
justice in South Africa.
In order to successfully expand lesbian rights, Judge
says three things must happen. First, the LGBT community must hold elected officials accountable, lending
support to those who vote with gay rights in mind.
Additionally, lesbians need to keep dismantling the tranormal form of sexuality. But mostly, the fight is about
changing the culture. "We create culture ourselves,"
says Judge. "It's not fixed. And so culture can be used
to embrace or to attack sexual difference. We all have
the power to say 'not in my name.'" -Sheryl Kay
CURVE
MAY 2013
BROOK
JOHNSON.A
TEACHER
In Flint, Mich, has filed a suit In
federal court against the Corunna
refused to offer a family memPublic Schools for allegedly
bership to a lesbian couple
v1olat1ngher First Amendment
unless they could produce a
rights Johnson claims that she
marriage cert1f1cate,despite the
got negative evaluations from
fact that Suzy Sheridan, her wife
district off1c1alsafter she became
and their son had had such a
involved with the school's diversity
membership 10 years ago, when
group, which put up a Gay Pridethe boy was on the club's swim
themed display for LGBTHistory
team The couple took their
Month In 2009, when Johnson
case to the Internet, creating a
was the club's advisor, the school
petItIon on Change org The
board voted to remove the
petItIon received 8,000 signaposter from a school showcase,
tures, and the YMCA adJusted
claiming It went against comits policy to be more 1nclus1ve,
munity values That dec1s1onwas
offering the couple a "houselater reversed when the ACLU
hold" membership
became involved But In 2011,
when Johnson's contract with
DIANA
MEDLEY
AND
ASPECIAL
ditional paradigm that says heterosexuality is the only
18
are attempting to
organize what they are calling
a "trad1t1onalprom," which will
proh1b1tLGBTstudents from
attending When asked 1fshe
thinks gays have a purpose In
life, Medley said, "No, I honestly
don't Sorry, but I don't"
» FORANOTHER
OUT
INFRONT
PROFILE
GOTOCURVEMAG.COM
curve
The Gender Trap
Imagining a world beyond boys and girls.
BY VICTORIA
A. BROWNWORTH
W
hat is gender:' Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (11th edition)
defines gender as "the behavioral, cultural or psychological traits typically
associated with one sex:' The World Health Organization (WHO)
defines gender as "the socially constructed roles, behavior, activities and
attributes that a particular society considers appropriate for men and women:'
WHO emphasizes that the 'a.istinct roles and behavior [of gender] may give rise to inequalities, i.e., differences between men and women that systematically favor one group;' and
notes, "Both gender differences and gender inequalities can give rise to inequities between
men and women in health status and access to health care:'
Most of us also think of our gender as defined by the genitalia and physical characteristics attributed to our sex-breasts, vaginas, penises.
But if both the dictionary and the largest health organization in the world define
gender as a social and psychological construct, then isn't gender fluid, regardless of
genitalia:' Doesn't gender mean what we
choose it to mean:'
Writing about or even talking about gender seems to invite controversy. Everyone
feels they have a proprietary interest in
what is and what is not male and female.
Terms like "born-woman'' and "cisgendered"
only serve to fuel more passionate debate
about what is, in fact, a social and cultural
construct. But even going that far will get
you called names in various quarters.
Why is gender so inflammatory:' Because
global society-run
overwhelmingly by
men-has an investment in keeping people
in their gender-specific place. As WHO
suggests, with men in power, women remain
powerless. And when women have as little
power as they do throughout the world,
their lives are at risk. (This is as true for
transgender women as it is for cis-women,
I might add, as the rate of murder among
MTF transsexuals is disturbingly high.)
I've always struggled with gender identity. As a child, I insisted on being called
by a male nickname, shifting to a gendernonspecific one in high school. In grade
school, I definitely had gender dysphoria
issues, which were exacerbated by my height
(I was the tallest girl in my class) and by my
"tomboy" traits. In the fifth grade, I went to
a Halloween party as a football player and
was caught kissing another girl dressed as a
nurse when we played a game of hide-andseek. Because we were kids, nothing was
made of it, but I still remember that incident vividly as a turning point in my gender
identity and sexual orientation.
When I came out as a lesbian, in the ninth
grade, the "male" feelings that had simmered
for years became more intense. Eight years
at a Catholic girls' school had dramatically
skewed my perspective on gender. Was I a
boy or a girl:' I certainly didn't want to be
a girl, nor did I feel like what I thought a
girl was. But my early experiences, being
MAY 2013
CURVE
19
st
POLITICS
a teenager in gay bars and being expelled
from my all-girls high school for lesbianism,
only added to my internal conflicts.
When I was expelled, my parents were
upset. My father asserted, "But you're pretty.
And boys like you:' My mother's view,
though opposite, was equally simplistic:
"When you were a baby, people always
thought you were a boy. I'm not surprised:'
A year later, after a suicide attempt, I was
admitted to the local psychiatric hospital
for adolescents. Twelve years ago, I was the
subject of a short film on my gender dysphoria. A student of mine at the art college
where I teach thought revealing my complex feelings on gender would be useful to
others who were struggling with the same
issues. The film read as ritualized cognitive
dissonance: In high-femme drag, I sat with
an array of dildos in front of me while I
talked about my desire for a penis, and how
it always felt like something was lacking.
It was a painful experience that I wish
I hadn't shared. But silence accomplishes
nothing. I've interviewed many trans gender people over the years, including the
activists Renee Richards, Kate Bornstein
and Leslie Feinberg. Last year, I did a series
on Barbra Casbar Siperstein, the first
transgender member of the Democratic
National Committee. Siperstein transitioned in her 50s, while maintaining her
longtime marriage to a woman and trying
to explain her new identity to her children
and grandchildren.
Last December, I was approached by a
surgeon who wanted me to do a series on
one of his patients as she transitioned from
male to female. Like Siperstein, this woman
was in her 50s and had been a "man's man''
before making the decision to have sex reassignment surgery. The surgeon and patient
wanted me to witness the surgeries and
do interviews before and after each of
them. But as the day of the first surgery
approached-the
facial shaping (bones in
the jaw and forehead are shaved down to
achieve a more feminine look) and breast
augmentation-the patient decided that the
scrutiny was really too much to handle.
My most heart-breaking assignment
was a series I did in 2009 on the underground world of transgender youth. I was
approached by a young pre-op MTF, who
20
CURVE
MAY 2013
asked me to do a story on her and her
friends. I spoke to my editor, then arranged
to attend a pumping party, not knowing
exactly what that was.
A dozen youths, almost all of them either
African American or Latino, were there.
Everyone was under 25 and some were
under 18. One of the oldest in attendance
was doing silicone injections. Everyone
had been told I was there to tell their
story. They showed me budding breasts
and enlarged clitorises, proud of their
transitions-in-progress.
''
So if the language
we use and the
polemic we invoke
are still evolving, as
our gender evolves,
maybe we need to
take a less volatile
tone with each
other as we traverse
this new terrain.
''
I was horrified. I wanted to call the police
or social services or someone, but I had
been invited, and I had made promises of
anonymity.
Why was I horrified? Because even under
the scrutiny and care of a top-level endocrinologist and surgeon, these are complex
hormonal modifications to make on a body.
A 17-year-old FTM taking steroids bought
online, or a 19-year-old MTF taking bootleg birth control pills, could end up with
liver damage, a stroke, cancer-or
dead.
And the illegal silicone? Even the real stuff
can cause irreversible damage.
All this is happening-the
DIY sex
changes, the late-in-life sex changesbecause we can't think past a binary concept of gender. But if you listen to the
photographer and actor iO Tiller Wright
(check out selfevidentproject.com, as well
as her TV interview with Jeff Probst), who
spent the years from 6 to 14 living as a boy,
you will learn that gender can be fluid. It
doesn't have to be one or the other. The
increasing number of transgender people,
particularly those under 30, who decide not
to have bottom surgeries underscores this
reality; many transgender women and men
are still very clear on how they identify in
terms of their gender, regardless of the final
surgery. They can be female with a penis,
male without one.
And then there's this: According to the
Centers for Disease Control (CDC), one
in every 2,000 babies is born with genitalia
that cannot be defined as male or female.
Activists have prevailed on doctors to stop
choosing their gender at birth, because
these children don't always identify with
the gender that's been chosen for them.
Which leads us back to that fluidity. Is iO
Tiller Wright male or female? Or was she
male and now she's female? Is it possible that
Wright is the only person who has ever been
female, male, and female again? She can't be.
Perhaps our binary concept of gender
is like our binary concept of sexual orientation-limited.
Perhaps gender is, like so
much else about us, continually evolving.
And so, for some individuals, their gender
is evolving throughout their lifetime, like
Wright or Siperstein or Chaz Bono.
Think about how many babies are born
without a distinct gender. And how many
children look like a girl or a boy but come to
feel that they are the opposite later in their
lives-at 6 or 16 or even 60. Do we deny all
those individuals their gender evolution?
I think gender can be fluid precisely
because it is a societal construct. But even
so, being raised male or female defines how
we act in the world. Those raised male
will have a sense of entitlement that those
raised female can't imagine or appropriate. We must respect these nuances as
we move between genders. Those societal
gender constructs define us before we are
old enough to speak. So if the language
we use and the polemic we invoke are still
evolving, as our gender evolves, maybe we
need to take a less volatile tone with each
other as we traverse this new terrain. To do
otherwise just reinforces the binary gender
distinctions that have oppressed womenborn and evolved-for millennia.•
st TWO OF US
Sean and Shawna
Trans performers Sean Dorsey and Shawna Virago have found love outside the binary.
BY MICHELE FISHER
S
ean Dorsey and Shawna Virago are
a transgender power couple. Dorsey
is the founder and artistic director of Fresh Meat Productions,
the first organization to create and present year-round transgender arts programs.
He is also the nation's first out transgender,
modern dance choreographer-his
dance
company Sean Dorsey Dance has received
major national commissions and awards
and this summer, continues its 20-city
tour of The Secret History Of Love across
the U.S. This dance theater work reveals the underground ways that LGBT
people managed to survive and love each
other in decades past. Dorsey created the
show by extracting and adapting real-life
queer treasures from archival materials
such as love letters and journals as well as
interviews he conducted with gay elders.
Virago is the musical guest star of the show.
A singer, songwriter, filmmaker, writer and
activist, she is a longtime favorite in San
Francisco's transgender and queer music
scene, the director of the San Francisco
Transgender Film Festival, and a filmmaker whose films (including Transsexual
Dominatrix and Hustle) have been screened
in more than a dozen countries. Virago is
also working on a new album, tentatively
titled Devil's Daughter, which she will promote by touring.
Dorsey and Virago share their story of
finding true love as gender outlaws.
How long have you known each other?
We met at an event called Trans
Art 2001, and reconnected a few months
later at Tranny Fest 200 L Tranny Fest was
the world's first transgender film festival,
and organized by our friends Christopher
Lee and Alex Austin. Sean saw me perform
and got my digits and we've been hanging
out ever since.
VIRAGO:
''
It's amazing to share
your journey with
someone who shares
your artistic, political,
spiritual path.
''
DORSEY: We celebrated our 11th anniversary last year! I first saw Shawna onstage at
Trans Art 2001, and was like, Who is that?
She was a force of nature-pure
brilliance
and beauty. I approached her in a rather
nerdy fashion and we eventually started
emailing, then [talking on the phone] and
then dating!
When did you fall in love?
Really fast when I saw this tall
handsome Canadian lad. Our first date also
was how shall we say it, a sleepover?
VIRAGO:
We fell fast and hard. Shawna is
so ridiculously gorgeous and brilliant and
soulful and talented-it's amazing to share
your journey with someone who shares
your artistic, political, spiritual path.
Sean, you have been out as trans for
many years but only five years ago
decided to take hormones. Can you tell
me about that decision?
DORSEY: There are lots of ways of being
transgender, and I was out as transgender
for over 15 years, and had top surgery, but
had no interest in taking hormones. That
was right for me then, and then things
shifted and I knew I wanted to align my
body better with my spirit. It was a beauti~
ful decision.
Do you like your body?
VIRAGO: I like Sean's body lots.
DORSEY: The feeling is mutual, Ms. Virago!
DORSEY:
- rHesH,mear
tResH,mear
I' RO
I' R O I) l
PRoou
C T I O ,
I) I
C I IO
,
,
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U
Every person alive has a complicated rela~
tionship with their body-it's important for
us to work every day on loving our bodies.
Has life for you become easier over the
years?
VIRAGO: I think because I'm perceived when
I'm out in the world, buying groceries or
taking the bus, to be a member of the gen~
der binary, that my life is easier now than
when I was an androgynous youth. It's still
not easy being transgender, but the world
is much harder on anyone that people can't
categorize instantly as male or female. My
butch friends know this. The gender binary
FBtsH,n
I' RO O
c1,
might be a social construct but the impact
of power and oppression on people outside
the binary is still too painfully real.
DORSEY: I feel so, so blessed to be trans~
gender. And blessed to be alive at this time
in history-when
I can live amongst other
transgender artists and leaders and rule~
breakers. Things were much more difficult
for my transgender foremothers and forefa~
thers, even 15 years ago.
Does it surprise either one of you that
you ended up in a relationship with
another trans person?
VIRAGO: I am attracted to people on the
masculine spectrum, whether they identify
as transgender or not, but I am surprised
I'm in a relationship with a sexy, brilliant
and sane person. Pinch me, I'm dreaming.
DORSEY: It doesn't surprise me-I think it's
the most natural thing in the world. We get
each other's trans experience, bodies and
selves very deeply. I highly recommend it!
Trans guys out there, listen up! (seandorsey~
dance.com, shawnavirago.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
23
st
LIPSTICK+DI
PSTICK
Lezzie911
and keeping you from moving
the real question you need the
forward. It's time to let this sofa
answer to right now.
Relationship trouble? Advice superheroes
Lip & Dip to the rescue! ev uPsT1cK & 01PsT1cK
partner who's holding a winning
Lipstick:: I disagree, Dipstick.
hand.
As you know, I'm quite the
spud go and start looking for a
romantic, so I definitely believe
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: My girlfriend
and I have been together for seven yea rs.
I busted my butt to get through college,
then found an amazing job and bought
my own home. I've been paying all of our
bills for the last three years, and she just
recently started working part-time at a
pizza shop. She says she's just not cut
out for school. On top of working and
paying the bills, I clean the house and
take care of our four animals. I think I am
ready to start a family, but how can I raise
children when I am living with one? I do
love her but she sits on the couch talking
on her phone constantly. Recently, I asked
her to contribute $500 a month to the
household and she freaked out, saying
she wouldn't have any money left for her!
Do I stick this out or give up?
-Seven-Year Itch
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
not allowing
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
in true love, the kind that coats
About 15 years ago, I had my
your skin like tree sap-no
first experience with a woman.
matter what you do, noth-
Elizabeth was 20 years older
ing can wash it off, not even
than me, and it wasn't the best
another love affair. In fact, I
time, but you never forget
believe in that kind of love so
your first, right? I've moved
much, I wrote a novel about it.
away, but we've stayed friends.
The plot of Jukebox [available
Now, I'm in a shaky long-term
from Bella Books] mirrors your
relationship with a man. The
current situation, Still Crushed.
problem is, I still fantasize
The burning question: Are you
about Elizabeth and it has
willing to risk rejection on the
affected all my relationships.
chance that Elizabeth still feels
Is it possible this woman could
the same way you do? I say,
be my true love?-Sti// Crushed
Hell yes, because life is short
and there's no time for second
Dipstick: It's easy to reminisce
guesses.
about the butterflies you got
from this long-ago affair-the
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
lingering hugs, the sensuous
My partner and I have been
backrubs, the passionate sex-
together for six years and my
when things aren't going well
vibrator is my most frequent
in your current relationship.
lover. This is my first relation-
Every time your current partner
ship ever. In the beginning,
forgets to pick up the milk, you
we had sex a lot. Sometimes
remember the way Elizabeth
all weekend or multiple times
used to show up unannounced
in a day. My partner states
at your work, and how you'd
that I've given her the best
sneak into the parking lot to
orgasms of her lifetime, in-
make out in her car. Every time
cluding her own self-pleasure.
your partner says something
We were adventurous, eating
insensitive, you remember how
whipped cream drizzled with
Elizabeth used to cook you hue-
chocolate off each other's
Lipstick: Call 911,Dip! We've
litter box-you're
got a serious emergency here!
her the opportunity to step up
vos rancheros after a morning
bodies as foreplay, but for
Seven-Year Itch needs to pull
and prove she's a capable adult.
of love in her feather-top bed.
the last three years I have
Every time your current partner
been lucky to make love to
before Lazy Bones sucks all the
Lipstick: Kenny Rogers once
comes home late without call-
her four times a year. I have
life out of her.
sang, "You've got to know when
ing, you remember the time you
asked her about making sex
dates and she won't. I have
the plug on this relationship
to hold 'em, know when to fold
and Elizabeth drove all night to
Dipstick: And all the money
'em, know when to walk away,
San Francisco, arriving just in
purchased sex games, toys,
out of her bank account!
know when to run." Guess
time to watch the sun rise over
sexy nighties, perfume with
Seven-Year Itch, I'm developing
which one you should do! Do
the Golden Gate Bridge. Living
pheromones and more. Every
hives just thinking about your
you think she's really going to
in the past is only keeping
time I attempt to be intimate I
situation. You say you love this
kick in her fair share, or change
you from facing your current
am turned down. Sometimes,
child, but what you're doing is
at all, when she's faced with the
situation. Take Elizabeth out of
she even becomes angry
enabling her. By taking care of
responsibilities of parenthood?
the equation and ask yourself if
when I ask her for sex. She
everything-
Nope. I know you love her,
your current relationship is one
has a poor body image, but
but she's bringing you down
you want to be in or not. This is
we are both plus size. She was
from the house-
hold chores to the bills to the
24
CURVE
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molested as a child but so was
I. I don't understand how we
had amazing, bountiful sex
the first year and a half of our
relationship and now we have
nothing. On all other fronts
we share a great connection.
But must I be resigned to having a vibrator for a lover? Is
there anything else I can do?
Financially, we are members
of the working poor and cannot afford therapy.-Sexua//y
Frustrated in Fresno
''
You've got to
know when
to hold 'em,
know when to
fold 'em, know
when to walk
away, know
when to run.
''
Lipstick and I hear from many
women in your situation, and
there are no quick and easy
answers. Although you had
a good sexual relationship
for a year and a half, she's
had a lifetime of abuse and a
poor self-image. That's a lot
to overcome without outside
help. Look around for free
resources in your community.
Unfortunately, there's no easy
solution to be revealed here,
though it may be hidden under
many layers, which need to
be peeled back carefully. Like
Dipstick, my concern is that
you might not be able to work
through these issues without
professional help. As the butch
suggested, your focus should
be on counseling-finding
Often, colleges with counseling programs offer low-cost
inexpensive or pro bono help
will be the key. California State
therapy as a way to train their
students. Go to the library and
University, Fresno has a social
work program; call or go online
check out books for survivors
to see if they can point you in a
helpful direction. In the mean-
Dipstick: I don't think you're
the only one frustrated, darlin'.
please you and make you happy, but at the same time she
There's a lot going on here, not
the least of which is that your
wants to avoid being sexual
with you. Things started off hot
partner got angry when you
even asked her about sex. I'm
and heavy, so I can understand
your confusion now. Sex does
attending to. Cancel cable TV
for a few months, if that's what
it takes to afford a therapist.
guessing the root of her anger
is fear, and a different kind
usually cool down after a few
years, but it shouldn't stop
Lipstick: Ouch, Frustrated,
faith that your love will prevail
and you will come out of this
of frustration. She wants to
all together. Unfortunately,
my heart hurts for you.
stronger than ever. •
of childhood sexual abuse. This
is a serious issue that needs
time, visualize the two of you
reconnecting, and try to stay
positive. Half the battle here
is in the mind, so try to have
MAY 2013
CURVE
25
Riots Not Diets
Hanne Blank wants you to move, just for the love of it.
T
he gym can be a scary place
under the best of circumstances.
Add to that being fat~bodied
and it can be downright inhu~
mane. But it doesn't have to be. In fact, it
shouldn't be, because we all have the same
right to participate in our own body
practice-just
ask author, fat activist, and
exercise enthusiast Hanne Blank.
In her latest book, The Unapologetic Fat
Girl's Guide to Exercise and Other Incendiary
Acts, Blank makes one thing perfectly clear.
There is no wrong way to have a body, and
nothing and no one should stop you from
enjoying it. One of the best ways you can
do that is through movement: "Exercise
gives your body to you. It blows the dust
off and gives it a little shine, and it hands it
over with a weird little curtsey that makes
you understand, maybe for the first time,
26
CURVE
MAY 2013
ev RACHEL sHATTo
that this body is yours, is actually kind of
wonderful, maybe even miraculous:'
With The Unapologetic Fat Girl's Guide to
Exercise, Blank has crafted a funny, inspiring,
and powerful message that contains practi~
cal guidance and body~aflirming ideas. It's
part manifesto, part armchair therapist, and
part everything you always wanted to know
but were afraid to ask-style advice, and
will have you up and moving for the simple
pleasure of it in no time.
What inspired the book?
I have a bad habit of going to the library
and the bookstore looking for the book I
want to read, or the book I wish I had as
a resource, and not finding it. This is the
point where I usually end up throwing up
my hands and saying, "I guess I'm going to
have to write it myself, then:' That's basi~
cally what happened with this book, too.
I wanted a book that spoke to my needs
and concerns, as a fat woman who exer~
cises and enjoys it and benefits from it. I
didn't need a book that told me how to
exercise-there
are a billion books out
there that will tell you that. But there were
no books that talked about dealing with
locker~room freak~outs, or weight limits
on exercise machines, or the psychological
side of exercising when you're fat, or deal~
ing with other people's reactions to you
exercising as a fattie-or
even practical
things like what to do about chub rub, and
where the hell do you find sports bras that
fit you if you're a 56J.
These are all legitimate things and infor~
mation that people need to help improve
their quality oflife. They're things I wanted
to know about when I started to exercise,
and things that I, and other fat exercisers I
know, had to figure out the hard way. The
hard way is a pain in the ass, though, and
there are enough other obstacles to exercising happily as a fat person-so that having
to do it all the hard way, with no resources
or affirmation, is really enough to keep a
lot of people from doing it at all. That's a
shame, and totally unnecessary.
Why is exercise for fat women an incendiary act?
Moving your body for your own reasons,
taking pleasure in moving your body,
is incendiary for fat women because fat
women's bodies aren't seen as deserving of
that care, that attention, or that freedom
to move and take up space in the world.
Asserting your right to move, to sweat, to
occupy space, to move through space, to
challenge yourself physically, to improve
your relationship with your body-these
are all things that fat women are overtly
and covertly told are "not for them:' I call
"bullshit" on that.
Why do you prefer the term
"body practice" to "fitness
regime" or even "exercise
program"?
Exercise and fitness have a lot
of negative implications for
a lot of fat people. For starters, there's the presumption
that "fitness" is a size and a
body-fat percentage, not a
state of physical capacity and
stamina.
There's the presumption
that "exercise" is nothing more
than a mechanism for inducing weight loss and making
bodies look certain ways.
That puts a lot of seriously
unrealistic pressure on the
person doing the physical
movement. I prefer the idea
of "practice": something you
do on a regular basis, with an
eye toward competence and
improvement, but that does
not have arbitrary goals. Like
a religious practice or a meditative practice or practicing
music, the practice itself is
really the point.
Why do you feel it's impor-
tant to pursue movement simply for
your own pleasure?
Because you can. Because there's no good
reason to let anyone take that elemental
pleasure away from you. On a fundamental,
radical level, your body is the only thing
you have that is really under your control.
Why give away your pleasure? Why give
away your autonomy? Take it back. And
Exercise gives
your body to you.
It blows the dust
off and gives it a
little shine.
''
then move [your body] like you stole it,
because in a very real way you did.
How has the response been? Any particular passage or part that readers
have responded to?
I've found that people really respond to the
message that moving your body doesn't have
to be punitive, it doesn't have to hurt, and
that it's actually OK to do things that are
fun. People seem to really appreciate being
reminded that your body doesn't know the
difference, or care, that you're moving it
while you do something that delights you
[or] performing the same motions at a gym
on some exercise machine.
What do you hope queer and genderqueer readers get from the book?
I love this question. I especially hope that
LGBT readers will pick up this book, because an awful lot of issues about alienation
from the body and weirdness in fitting
into mainstream cultural spaces can crop
up for members of the queer community,
too. The experiences that
fat people have with these
things aren't necessarily the
same as the experiences that
LGBT people have, but the
underlying dynamics are
often very similar, because
they all tend to center
around the experience of
body-based prejudice and
being told that there are
things about you and the
way you are embodied that
are wrong and unworthy. As
a result, some of the same
coping strategies can help.
How do we end fat bias?
The same way we keep moving toward eliminating any
other kind of body-based
bias. We call it out when we
see it, we talk about why it's
wrong, we try to reduce the
harm that gets done, and we
work on acting like we live
in a world where there is no
wrong way to have a body
and where being human
actually does get you your
fair share of human dignity.
(hanneblank.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
27
Weighty Matters
Meet Dr. Linda Bacon, the lesbian PhD changing the way
we think about health. BY MOLLY w1LL1AMs
I
n Dr. Linda Bacon's controversial,
eye~opening book Health At Every
Size: The Surprising Truth About
Your Weight, Bacon takes conven~
tional wisdom about the relationship with
weight and health to task, drawing a line
between legitimate health indicators and a
number on the scale.
Bacon's fascination with health and weight
began with her own. Like so many women
she spent a significant part of her life strug~
gling with her weight and body image. In an
effort to greater understand weight regu~
lation, she pursued a master's degree in
psychotherapy with an emphasis on eating
disorders and body image. She went on to
earn a master's in exercise science and she
completed a doctorate in physiology. It was
through these studies that she uncovered
the disparity between actual weight regula~
tion behaviors and those being espoused
by so~called"experts:' It was this breakdown
that lead Bacon to formulate the philosophy
behind HAES (Health At Every Size).
HAES, in short, is a shift in priorities.
Rather than diet and exercise with weight
loss as the end goal, HAES focuses on intu~
itive eating and pleasurable physical activity,
with a goal of improving overall health (for
28
CURVE
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example, blood pressure, cholesterol and
depression). To test her theory Bacon con~
ducted a study of 70 women with a BMI
greater than 30. Half were put on a stan~
dard restrictive diet, and half were given the
HAES model. Six months later the HAES
group had far better health outcomes than
the dieting group.
So why in the face of these discoveries are
mainstream ideas about weight and health
not upended? Bacon shares her expert opin~
ion on why and who is keeping these myths
alive, and what believing them costs us.
What affect do current societal norms
have on women's bodies?
There are a lot of mixed messages about
weight and health. On one hand, more
people are speaking up against extreme
diets that encourage rapid weight loss
through tortuous deprivation. There's also
a bit more representation of diverse body
types in advertising than there was maybe
10 years ago. But, as you mention, there
still is the dominant societal belief that
weight loss is universally"healthy;' possible
and desirable for everyone.
Michelle Obama's Let's Move campaign
is an example of what I'm talking about.
The program encourages kids to get more
exercise and eat more nutrmous meals.
Promotion for the campaign includes images
of kids of all sizes and colors and shapes
exercising and enjoying healthy snacks.
There's little talk of dieting per se. But
the end goal of all this great stuff is not for
kids to celebrate their bodies and become
healthier and happier, but to fight obesity.
Weight loss is still the underlying pre~
scription for health. There is overwhelming
research to prove that sustained weight loss,
even "healthy" dieting, is impossible for the
vast majority of people. I'm concerned that
if people approach a plan like Let's Move
with the only goal being to lose weight that
they'd quickly become discouraged and quit,
losing all the other benefits of exercise and
good nutrition. It also stigmatizes the larger
kids, setting them up for bullying, and sets
everyone up, whether fat or thin, to fear fat.
Is it true that queer fat women face two
levels of prejudice?
Absolutely. I think whenever someone
exists in a marginalized segment of soci~
ety they're vulnerable to the judgment and
hatred of the majority. Women of color, fat
women, queer women are all susceptible
to deeply held prejudices. One difference
I would note, though, is that while there
is a growing recognition in society that
homophobia and racism are wrong, there
still is permission and even encouragement
to target fat people. Many people actu~
ally believe that humiliation and criticism
is a good way to motivate fat people to
become thinner. I think it's much more
likely to motivate them to feel awful and
hate themselves.
Why do you think the so-called war on
weight exists?
In part, because it's profitable. I think it's
obvious the ways in which the diet and
beauty industry need to cultivate our inse~
curity. After all, if we loved our bodies as
is, who needs [to pay for] a diet? My advice?
Repeat after me: "My weight is not a prob~
lem. Society's problem with weight is the
problem:'
Imagine how much we could accomplish
if women would just abandon the pointless
effort to lose weight and begin, right now,
to appreciate the power and beauty of our
bodies. We would truly be a force to reckon
with. (lindabacon.org) •
BOOKS»
Don'tJud
a
Butch by Its Cover
KanitheaPowe explores the aesthetic of gender-bending women.
BY KIM HOFFMAN
hen
hear the word "butch;' it produces a certain mental
picture. anithea Powell, an author and the founder of
Qwest Films, knows that you're probably picturing leather~
clad motorcycle girls, a sea of flannel, or your middle
school P.E. teacher. But for her new book, Butch, Powell expands on the
term and digs even deeper.
"There is so much that encapsulates a woman and so many levels of
masculinity. Even though a woman appears to be masculine, to me, she
is still very feminine;' says Powell, who sees now more than ever how one
umbrella term can no longer provide an adequate definition. So, rather
than attempting to create the definitive tome on butch~ness, Powell seeks
to document just one oment in the ever~evolving timeline of LGBT
identity, sparking new
versations and creating new meaning.
Also, Powell mentio s that because of cultural differences, in the
African American co
unity the swagger of a word like "stud" seems to
Y 2013
CURVE
29
REVIEWS/
BOOKS
fit better than the "B" word. We've come
a long way since we took the "tom" out
of tomboy. "I find it interesting that the
(LGBT] community pushes for accep~
tance and freedom, but yet we embrace so
many labels. People feel safer in their world
if they can be tucked away in a little box. I
think we should lead by example and step
away from all the labels and terms. At the
end of the day, we are just women who
love women:'
The idea for Butch came about when
Powell was sitting at a cafe and noticed a
butch woman being approached by another
woman who mistook her for a man. "It
got me thinking about sexuality, androgyny,
and how awesome it would be to create a
piece of art that would spark conversation
and push the stereotypic norms:'
The result is a book of genderqueer por~
traits by renowned fashion photographer
Beverli Alford.
Powell feels that the takeaway is simple
and hopes that others see it, too-"There
is beauty in being genuine:' And it doesn't
hurt to be fashionable while you're at itwhich is evident throughout the book. Its
three sections, Bois, Suits, and Just the
Two of Us, feature women of all shapes,
sizes and complexions, donning tailored
blazers and bright kicks, posing shirtless in
suspenders, candid, dancing, standing tall,
perfecting the bowtie-and just generally
serving up butch queen realness.
Currently, Powell is hard at work on her
next feature film, Kill Her! While for some,
juggling a writing career and a film career
would be daunting, Powell believes that
her success is due to her belief in her own
capabilities. But also fueling her creativity
is the desire to share her messages, and in
the case of Butch, Powell uses evocative
images as a way to foster and explore an
understanding of butch identity both inside
and outside our community. 'Tm not tell~
ing a gay story;' she explains. 'Tm telling a
human story:' A beautiful and butchy one
at that. (qwestfilms.com) •
''
"I think we
should lead by
example and
step away from
all the labels
and terms. At
the end of the
day, we are just
women who
love women."
''
EDITOR'S
PICK»
BYRACHEL
PEPPER
The
Fainting
Room
Imagine a cross between a noir-infused detective
story and a lesbian coming of age tale. You
might then end up with a book resembling The
FaintingRoom.The second novel from New Haven
author, poet and accomplished plumber Sarah
Pemberton Strong, The FaintingRoomrecounts
the tumultuous events in the life of a married
couple and a teenage girl during the summer of
1983. Ray, an architect, and Evelyn, a tattooed excircus performer, manicurist, and now housewife,
live a seemingly sedate suburban life just outside
Boston. Underneath the surface, however,
tensions are simmering. So when Evelyn throws
a rock through the window of the family home,
injuring her husband, the balance for normality
teeters precariously toward doom. Enter Ingrid,
a punk rock outsider who's been expelled from
the local boarding school for drinking and a surly
attitude. At first, Ray and Evelyn think they're doing
a good deed by taking in the troubled teen when
she can't go home to her family. Soon, however,
Ingrid unknowingly becomes the catalyst for many
Saran
Pemoerton
Strong
(lgPuolisning)
30
CURVE
MAY 2013
unexpected changes in
the household. Ray begins
to write detective stories
again, Evelyn reveals her
tattoos, and alliances
are built around shared
interests such as classical
music, circus tricks and
time spent together in the
fainting room at the top
of the stairs. But when
Ingrid's lesbian passions are
unlocked, the book really
picks up speed, careening
quickly into a hard-boiled
sexual thriller, complete with sleazy hotel rooms,
a misfired gun and countless cigarettes. Strong's
writing is accomplished, and she creates complex
characters facing excruciating choices as they
stare down scintillating secrets from their past,
and Ingrid's sexual awakening springs them
forward toward promising futures.
REVIEWS/
FILM
Unbinding Gender
Filmmaker Lauren Lubin documents a personal journey of transition.
BY KIM HOFFMAN
L
0
(.'.)
z
0
~
0
u
~
2
auren Lubin had been living
the simple life in Costa Rica,
in a tree house in the jungle
for nearly two years when an
overwhelming self-realization began to
take form. "It was here that I was fully
able to see myself for the first time, see
the perfection of my being, and because
of this I could no longer deny myself' The
oneness experienced in the jungle, coupled
with a near drowning, brought to Lubin
the spirit to seize this one and only life. We
Exist was conceived-a documentary that
would take Lubin through life-changing
evolution: the transition from female to
gender neutral.
We Exist captures Lubin as a pre- and
post-op gender-neutral person living in
the binding societal construct of gender.
As Lubin puts it, "We have been so deeply
conditioned and indoctrinated by these
constructs that many have never actually
questioned the validity of gender. And
because of this, we may confuse a system
of beliefs as absolute truth, rather than
what they really are: a system of beliefs.
The fact that the concept of gender varies
so greatly from culture to culture, generation to generation, this flux disproves any
notion that any gender can ever exist as a
stable truth:'
In May 2012, Lubin was invited to be
a speaker for the Instigators Talk at
Chicago Ideas Week, sharing the stage
with major leaders such as President Bill
Clinton, Deepak Chopra and Lilly Ledbetter. "I think this was the first time ever
that someone like myself was given such a
grand stage, and also given an opportunity
to openly talk about such an important
message;' says Lubin. That speech is now
the No. l watched video from CIW.
The filmmaker, and one-time all-star
basketball player at Colorado University,
is a human being with the desire to receive
basic human recognition. "What I have
come to learn is my life will forever be
influenced by the deepening of my allowance and understanding of my truth. I also
know I will never stop learning the depths
of this truth. Because of this, I will always
be in a continual state of transition, and
I have come to find much comfort and
peace here:'
''
will always be in
a continual state
of transition, and
have come to find
much comfort and
peace here.
I
I
''
MAY 2013
CURVE
31
REVIEWS/
FlLM
We Exist will spark conversation and
impel others to reconsider the gender binary
to which we have given so much license.
"Conversation creates a space to exist. I
observe that globally we pretend that people like myself do not exist. And because of
this, we are excluded from receiving necessary healthcare, we are denied our needs
and feelings, and we are excluded from
just about all social settings. This film is so
crucial because I believe that transgender
rights are on the brink of a major movement, and this film is just one piece that
exposes our truth and pushes this movement forward. Whether this film provides
a face, or a story, or a safe space for someone who may be struggling, then this film
has served its purpose:'
The film has made an impact on people
all over the world, inspiring a near universal response: "Thank you for reminding
me I exist:' And there isn't one response,
supportive or cynical, that hasn't had an
influence on Lubin's soul.
In addition to the film, Lubin speaks
out at schools, where youthful curios32
CURVE
MAY 2013
ity and fearless questions
abound. 'Tm finding that
peoples' belief differences
are taking a backseat to
their desire to want to learn
more about my story. This
feedback signifies that this
topic has reached a critical
mass! We are ready and we
want to learn. Collectively,
we intellectually know that
we can no longer knowingly
turn a blind eye:'
Lubin says her work will
extend beyond the film in
a constant pursuit to fight for awareness
and educate others on gender equality. "My
whole life I was never confused about who
I was, but more confused as to why society
did not provide a space for someone like
me. Who am Ir I hope to never answer this
question with a sense of certainty because
that would mean I have become complacent
within myself' And let that be a lesson to us
all. We Exist is Lubin's space to grow-for
all of us.
"This film is the byproduct of my selfempowerment, a celebration of coming
into truth, and an ending to the silencing
of our stories:' And what would Lubin tell
the eternal kid in her who just wanted to
shoot hoops with Michael Jordan? "You'd
be really proud of who you've become!"
Becoming-well that's just one footstep of
many to come.
We Exist is slated for release by the end
of the year. (weexist.co) •
0
Cl
z
0
g
0
()
::e
2
A Sort of Homecoming
Martha Wainwright reflects on her most personal album to date.
BY DAVE STEINFELD
T
here are many ways to describe
Martha Wainwright, but the
best one might be "complex:'
On the one hand, she is a star
in her own right; but on the other, she is
often overshadowed by her family mem~
bers, especially her brother, Rufus. On the
one hand, she can be open, warm and witty;
but on the other, she can be aloo£ even
caustic (this is, after all, the woman who
wrote the song "Bloody Motherfucking
Asshole" about her famous father, Loudon
Wainwright III). On the one hand, she
recorded an excellent album of Edith Piaf
covers a few years back; but on the other,
she is equally comfortable in the world of
alternative rock.
Over drinks in Brooklyn's Williamsburg
section, Wainwright tells me about some
of the events that took place between
the release of her second studio offering,
2008's I Know You're Married But I've Got
Feelings Too, and her latest disc, Come Home
to Mama. We all go through periods in
life that are especially eventful or signifi~
cant. But what Martha Wainwright went
through during late 2009 and early 2010
was truly life changing. At the same time
that she was pregnant with her first child,
her mother, the folk icon Kate McGarrigle,
was dying of cancer.
"(It was] very difficult;' says Wainwright.
"I'd always planned to be there for my
mother at the end of her life because, as
the daughter, I thought that was my role.
But I couldn't be, and I feel bad [about]
that. I could not be with her because I
was-I
don't wanna say 'stuck' but-I
was stuck in England. I'd had a baby who
was born very prematurely, and we could
not leave the hospital. But Rufus really
stepped up to the plate and was there for
her. She died at home, in a really beautiful
way, surrounded by family. But those final
days were [also] very gruesome:'
The story gets even stranger. "I was in
London because I was (singing there];'
Wainwright continues. "I was onstage and
I started to not feel well. And I'd had a
totally normal pregnancy (up to that point].
The plan was to go home and be with my
mother and nurse (her] and the newborn,
you know? And it just all went completely
wrong. When it happened, and I was in the
hospital at King's Cross in London, I called
my mother and I said, 'You're not gonna
believe what's happening: She knew right
away that something was wrong. Her first
child was born at six and a half months,
around the corner from there. She had a
baby and it died the next day because it
was so small:'
"In Englandt I ask in disbelie£
"In London, around the corner (from my
hospital];' she replies. "She was 23 at the
time and became very sick. She was told
she was never gonna have children again,
(but] she went on to have Rufus and me.
So it was a complete revisitation-just very
intense and very strange:'
So Wainwright found herself stranded
in a foreign country with a premature
baby while her terminally ill mother was
in Canada. There were a couple of bright
spots, however. "The fact that he was born
two and a half months early allowed [my
mother] to meet him;' she says.
"She flew over when he was born, from
Montreal to London. His due date was
actually the day that she died. As he got
stronger and grew larger, she deteriorated.
It was like an incredible passing of life
from one to the other:'
Kate McGarrigle also flew to London
a mere six weeks before her death to
perform a Christmas show at the Royal
Albert Hall. "I wasn't (supposed] to be
MAY 2013
CURVE
33
REVIEWS/
MUSIC
able to attend [the show], because my plan
was to be seven or eight months pregnant
and to be at home;' Wainwright explains.
"Well, of course, I was able to be there,
because we were in London. My mother
flew over-which probably shaved some
time off her life, because she was very sickbut she really wanted to do it. She was lying
down with healers before the show. But
then she got up and did an incredible two
and a half hour show! She really conjured
up everything inside of her and premiered
the song 'Proserpina: I feel that song was
like a last gift to me before she died:'
Wainwright recorded her own version
of "Proserpina'' for Come Home to Mama.
It is the album's centerpiece-a haunting,
dramatic song that is, in fact, worthy of
Piaf-and it contains the lyric that gave the
disc its title. When I ask Wainwright if her
mother knew she was going to record it, to
my surprise she says no.
Come Home to Mama was recorded
in Manhattan at Sean Lennon's studio
and was produced by Yuka Honda, the
co-founder of Ciba Matto and Lennon's former girlfriend. Nothing else on the disc
sounds like "Proserpina:' Tracks such
as "Radio Star" and "I Wanna Make an
Arrest" have an alt feel to them, the latter
bordering on dance-rock. But the album's
last two songs, ''All Your Clothes" and
"Everything Wrong;' are beautiful ballads
that are difficult to listen to without crying.
They are dedicated to her mother and her
son, respectively. Wainwright doesn't shy
away from tackling difficult topics-and
she does it in a way that leaves her pretty
naked, emotionally. In "Everything Wrong;'
she addresses her son, Arcangelo Albetta,
who is now 3, as follows:
I don't want you tofeel alone
But you probablywill, when you are older
I will try to stay alive
To see as much throughyour eyes
But one day,you know I willgo
It's a nod to her own mortality, made all
the more poignant by the fact that she lost
her own mother not so long ago.
"When I was in my early 20s, I wrote
songs about unrequited love;' Wainwright
tells me matter-of factly. "Now I'm writing
34
CURVE
MAY 2013
songs about dying parents and marriageand the difficulties of it. You know, sometimes I feel sorry for my husband, for
having to grin and bear it, 'cause it's kind
of embarrassing [for him], I think:' She's
not kidding. Wainwright doesn't pull any
punches on that subject either. She addresses
her marriage-to
producer and bassist
Brad Albetta-several
times on the new
set, and rarely are the references flattering.
In ''All Your Clothes;' she comes right out
and says, "My marriage is failing but I
keep trying:' Not much ambiguity there!
But elsewhere, her take on marriage can
be funny. Witness this passage from "Can
You Believe It":
I'm sharpeningthe chip on my shoulder
As I get angrierI get older
Therearefewer andfewerpeopleto complainto
So I built a ship of shit and directedit at you
"I keep pounding him;' she admits. "But
I think it's a legitimate subject, you know?"
When the subject turns to gay marriage,
Wainwright-whose
brother recently tied
the knot with his longtime boyfriend, Jorn
Weisbrodt-is
reflective. ''A lot of [gay]
people are running to the altar [now];' she
says. "Why wouldn't your [But] I think
there's gonna be a lot of busy lawyers when
they start dealing with gay divorces. Because
it's a big deal, getting married. [It will] be
really interesting to see the potential fallout
from gay marriage. It'll be a whole new job
market for lawyers, I would imagine:'
It's ironic to hear Wainwright discuss
marriage with such ambivalence, given that
in "Far Away;' the first track on her selftitled debut, she sang, "I have no children,
I have no husband, I have no reason to be
alive:' As many musicians have, Martha
Wainwright is living in public, to a certain
degree. But she possesses a gift for honesty
that few of her peers can claim. The very
last line on Come Home to Mama-once
again from"Everything Wrong"-is"I have
been really, really sad. Except for having
you with your dad:' Again, there is nothing
hidden here and no ambiguity. Listening
to "Everything Wrong'' for the first time,
you expect Wainwright to follow that line
with something else-a lyric that will wrap
things up tidily, perhaps with a ray of hope.
But she doesn't. The song ends right there,
on a note of nagging uncertainty. And,
ironically, allowing yourself to be that vulnerable takes strength.
"Complex" it turns out, is an understatement. (marthawainwright.com) •
REVIEWS/
TECH
The ftToggingDead
Zombies, Run! puts a post-apocalyptic spin on your workout.
ou've heard it all before: This
miracle product takes all the
work out of working out and
makes exercise fun! While
some people swear up and down that get~
ting fit is like having a forever spandex and
endorphins party, for most us, working out
is just that-work.
It's something we do
because of the positive effect it has on our
body, mind and spirit-despite the drudg~
ery. But what if working out really could
be fun:' Zombies, Run!, a fitness app/ game
(available on iTunes and Google Play) may
be just what we've been waiting for to spice
up our exercise regime. We gave the app a
spin and here's what we found.
Zombies, Run! is set shortly after the
zombie apocalypse-you are the mysteri~
ous Runner 5 who when shot down near
Abel Township is quickly recruited to help
acquire essential supplies for the commu~
nity in return for save haven. Soon it's all
up to you to keep the small community of
survivors that call the township home safe
and growing. The game incorporates your
music playlist, unfolding between tracks
via voice recordings, radio messages and
pleas for help. As you run you automati~
Y
av RACHEL sHATTo
cally collect essential items like medicine,
clothing, batteries and ammo (the game is
fully hands~free during the mission). Once
you've completed your mission you can then
distribute the supplies you pick up as you
see fit. As you level up Abel Township, the
population grows, as does your access to
additional missions. It's all pretty straight~
forward so really the game's success hinges
on the plot, and its execution.
So, is Zombies, Run! fun:' It sure is is!
Fans of the undead will find plenty to love
here, as it's a bit like stepping into your own
personal episode of The Walking Dead. But
you don't need to be a zombiephile to have
a good time because thanks to an engaging
story, strong voice acting and spooky sound
mix it's a totally immersive experience. Plus,
since it rewards you for sticking with your
workout, you may find yourself extending
your run just to hear what happens next.
If curiosity isn't doing the trick, well, noth~
ing motivates quite like having a pack of
groaning, hungry undead nipping at your
heels-and when they begin to chase you,
you'll need to increase your speed for a
short time to outrun the horde.
Currently, there are 30 missions to play,
plus a radio mode to help extend the life
of the game (there is also a sequel in the
works). The game also gives you free access
to ZombieLink, which tracks your prog~
ress, including distance run, calories burned
and the all~important number of zombies
evaded, online. And if bragging rights gets
your motor running you can also auto~
matically share all your progress with your
friends on Facebook and Twitter.
Whether you're just looking to add some
excitement to your exercise routine or are
putting the finishing touches on your zombie
apocalypse survival plan, you can't do better
than Zombies, Run! So grab your running
shoes, ready your bunker and hit the road
because when the zombie apocalypse does
finally come, they are going to eat the slow
ones first. ($8, zombiesrungame.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
35
T-TIMEWITH
IAN HARVI
THE
TRANS
COMIC
ONHOW
TOGET
THROUGH
LIFE
AND
COME
OUT
LAUGHING.
BY ELIZABETH ESTOCHEN
0
ut comic Ian Harvie is as
ambitious as they get. Juggling two upcoming tours,
the Maine Comedy Festival,
and his new film, Superhero
Standup Comedy Concert Special-in addition to running the website FTMLover.
com-Harvie
has a lot on his plate. Open
about areas of trans life frequently skirted
around, he tells us, with punchy irony and
rare honesty, how to thrive.
Being trans is a huge part of your
stand-up routine. What did you focus
on before you were out?
My comedy may seem like it's largely about
being trans, but for me it's more about digging deep to be honest and vulnerable about
who I am, while making it funny and relatable. To me, that's what comedy should be
about. In the next phase of my comedic
development I hope to be even more raw,
honest and revealing. My comedy has always
been about being truthful.
How has touring with Dana Goldberg
and Jason Dudey for the Come Out
Laughing tour been?
I'm so excited to work with Jason and Dana,
they're comics I find truly funny. I respect
them a ton. Plus collectively, with all our
sexual identities in our beautiful complexity, we cover much of the LGBT alphabet
and we don't know of another funny trio
who does that. The dynamic between the
three of us, for me, is funny. Watching a gay
man and a lesbian be slightly confused at
times about their own sexuality because
they both-half-joking-have
admitted that
if they were single they would want to
fuck me-none
of us really know what to
do with that, so we crack jokes about it,
of course!
You've joked that you're frequently
mistaken as a gay cis-man. How do you
confront that?
I don't confront it exactly, I embrace it, like
I do with most of the things I experience.
None of us can control what other people
think about us, so why try? If I were to
describe the feeling of people thinking I'm a
gay man, it would be happy because I think
it keeps me visible in the LGBT community.
Especially on those days when I might be
feeling a little invisible to my queer brothers
and sisters as a trans guy.
Besides, imagine if I had gone from being,
visually, a real butch dyke to straight guy.
How friggin' boring would that be?
Tell us about your involvement in the
site FTMLover.com.
FTMLover.com is a dating, hookup, online meeting place for FTMs, trans guys
and masculine female-bodied folks, and
the people who adore them. There were
plenty of sites focused on other kinds of
people and interests, but there weren't for
guys like me, so I started it in early 2010
and it's a work in progress. There are some
technical kinks to be worked out, but we
are 5,000 plus members from around the
world. There will be a huge site update
coming up soon, and we're making some
great improvements.
How do you maintain your sense of
humor when faced with discrimination
about your body?
Honestly, I don't give a fuck about people
who try to discriminate against me. I don't
pay any attention to them, so much so that
I don't even realize if it's happening. I never
argue with bigots-it's a complete waste of
breath. Who I am and how I feel about
my body and gender is not up for public
debate, period. If I want to change someone, I invite them to one of my comedy
shows. I don't debate, I just share my story
through comedy.
What did it take for you to love and
accept the body you live in?
I love my body more today than I did before,
but I'm still not all the way there, not perfectly in love with it. I will keep working on
it, and it seems like that is everyone's life
work: to learn how to love our bodies more.
That is our biggest common ground and
shared experience. We all have these feelings about our bodies. When I think about
how everyone is struggling, then I feel like
family with everyone, not just LGBT folks,
but truly everyone. I will continue to work
on it and try not to get sidetracked in the
full-length bathroom mirror about how
my ass-crack is too high-which seems to
be part of my latest critique. How bored
do you have to be with yourself that you
have to start analyzing the length of your
ass-crack? "Sorry, I can't go to coffee with
you today, I'm having dysphoria about my
ass-crack:'
What advice would you give to fellow
LGBTfolks with few allies?
I would say that LGBT allies are not just
LGBT folks. People will surprise you with
their kindness, love and listening ears. If
you are looking for allies, you will find
them in high schools-if not yours then
one nearby, or a college nearby. They are at
coffee houses and concerts, yoga classes and
art openings, they are at the rock climbing
gym and the grocery store, they are at family reunions and places we work, and of
course through social networking. They are
there if you seek them out, and you have to
be persistent! You cannot make one attempt
and say you tried. If you need allies, it is
your responsibility to make sure that your
own need is met. It might seem daunting
at first, but the reward of finding them is
absolutely worth the effort. And, in turn,
you will be that ally for someone else too. It
absolutely goes both ways, just keep looking, don't give up before that beautiful event
happens. (ianharvie.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
37
Meet the lesbian who found herself
caught up in Bieber fever.
BY JENNY BLOCK
tall started with a Black Friday visit to a mall, where she
found herself hearing hushed whispers and deflecting
shy approaches-from teenagers and adults alike. But
once Shay Googled Justin Bieber-"I didn't even know
who he was," she says-she couldn't deny the similarities in their appearance. Needless to say, she wasn't too
thrilled. But, she says, it wasn't long before she found the
humor in it, "which is way more fun than being upset."
That's when she decided that the way to have fun with it was
to learn Bieber's song "Baby" and play it for friends at a nightclub.
Then, she says, "It just all dropped in:' She wrote a parody titled
"What the Hell" and before she knew it, the video went viral.
Although how it all came to be was certainly a surprise to Shay,
the fact that she would one day make her way as an artist was not.
"I came into the world with two main goals;' she says, "to make art
and to influence the world in a positive way:'
As a kid, making art meant drawing and writing. But at the age
of 9 or 10, Shay says she began to sing along when a friend was
strumming Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On:' Shay says he
told her, " 'You can actually really sing: After that, it was off to
the races.
Shay began singing in talent shows, and in middle school she
says she had a huge love for comedy and drama. "I did musical
theater and acting. I thought acting was the route I was going to go.
I thought I would go to New York and act:'
But the birthday present she received when she turned 16
changed all that. Her parents got her a guitar. Without any training,
she began writing songs. "I could hear melodies and ideas for lyrics.
I didn't know how to read music. I still don't:'
Instead, Shay taught herself some basic chords."! sat up all night
learning to play"Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional. That was
the first song I learned to play on guitar:' How she does it remains
a mystery. "I can't take full credit for all of the ideas and songs and
melodies. They drop out of nowhere:'
At 18, Shay left suburban Orlando, Fla., where she had grown
up in a traditional Mormon family, to move downtown and strike
out on her own. To support herself, she did a little of everything,
from door~to~door sales to restaurant work to dispatching calls for
a variety of businesses.
Because her sister needed help raising her two kids, Shay moved
in with her. "I loved being a parMime parent and working full~
time:' That was also the time when Shay began to pull away from
her Mormon upbringing and started dating women.
"It's all an exploration;' she says. "I gained so many positive
things from the church, like service to others and community. But
the male and female roles didn't jive very well with me:' At the time,
she was engaged to a man in the church, but when she began to
date women, she says the feelings she had were unshakeable. "They
are the feelings I want to have;' she realized. "I decided not to define
11
40
CURVE
MAY 2013
myself and, instead, follow where
my heart takes me:'
Then life took an interesting
turn. Shay was writing a lot of
music. She recorded a highly
introspective album. Then she
read The Four Agreements, and
it was around this time that she
started hearing those "Bieber"
whispers and wrote and recorded
"What the Hell;' posting it on
YouTube, where it sat quietly.
Suddenly, things changed. Shay met a man named John. "It was
one of those magical moments where you're asking, Who are you?
and Why are you in my life? and What are you here to teach met
What he taught her, she says, is a course called Avatar. "It was
December 2010. I was struggling financially. The relationship I
was in was on the rocks. I was ready for my music to reach people,
to experience success. I was ready to have my life be in a different
place. I remember thinking, I don't know what my life is going to
be, but I'm ready:' When she heard about Avatar, she sensed that it
was what she needed to get where she wanted to be.
She reached out to her family for money to pay for the course,
and they graciously obliged. "I knew I had to do the Masters course
to change my life, but also because I wanted to have an impact and
to help other people:'
Here's where things get a little wild. You might call it a conver~
gence of sorts. Or maybe you'd call it fate. Or even luck. Whatever
it was, it came after the last day of her Avatar course. She was
returning to her room and, Shay says, "If we could measure it, I
bet it's like, BOOM!" Her videos went viral that night. The media
came calling. Her Twitter account was blowing up. And Americas
Got Talent reached out to ask her to audition.
And it was all happening at once.
"There was a message from Mom. 'Call me ASAP. Honey, I
think you're reaching celebrity status: I was just initiated as the
newest Avatar on the planet and all of this happened:'
But she was concerned about doing Americas Got Talent. She
wondered if it would make her less of an artist. But after setting ego
aside, as the Avatar course had taught her, she changed her mind.
"My real intention, my real goal is to reach as many people as I can
and create an impact:' She knew Americas Got Talent could help
her do that. So she flew to Houston to audition.
She was eliminated after she made it to the last 48 standing.
But that turned out to be a good thing. Otherwise, she would have
missed out on what was around the corner- The Glee Project.
Shay read about the auditions and made sure she was there. "I
walked in and Robert [Ulrich] knew who I was and said, 'I love
what you did on America's Got Talent.' Shay says she couldn't
believe it, but it made her realize just how much she was meant to
be there. Later, in the green room, "Someone said, 'Oh, hey Justin:
It was a total Glee moment. I just busted out with 'What the Hell'
and everyone circled around:'
For the audition, she sang "Edge of Glory:' Shay says Ulrich
loved it and asked her to return for the callback. It was at those
callbacks that she met her Glee Projectco~star and now girlfriend,
Ali Stroker. "You want to talk about another amazing alignment of
the stars ... " Shay was about to sit at a table when a waitress redi~
rected her elsewhere. That elsewhere turned out to be a seat right
next to Ali. "It was an instant comfort and interest in one another.
It wasn't like, Tm gonna put all my love vibes out there: It was
genuine interest:'
That interest developed over the next five days to the point
where, Shay says, "Suddenly I was aware of where she was in the
room. The next day, we just laughed and laughed. It was like
reuniting with someone you've known for so long:' After three
days, Shay realized that there might be something more than
friendship between them, picking up on a little flirtation that was
revealing itself. But once she left the show, she wasn't sure what, if
anything, would come of it.
"What she did for me that week was, she showed me what was
possible, that I could have that kind of connection. And where I was,
in my current relationship, it wasn't where I wanted to be. I knew in
my heart [that relationship] was done. I knew [that was the case],
even if I never talked to Ali again:' Shay also knew that what she
wanted was to feel the way she felt when she was with Ali.
The two wrote to each other daily, saving the letters for when Ali
was no longer on the show. Shay says she wasn't writing to her out
of a desire for a certain outcome, but instead because she felt truly
connected to her somehow. While they were apart, Shay spent her
time "working to better myself:'
That plan included doing the P90X exercise regimen, just in
case things did work out with Ali, who is a paraplegic. Shay wanted
to be able to carry her-and her wheelchair-with
ease. She says
she thought about that through every workout. "That was a lot of
my motivation, really. I just trusted our connection. I didn't need to
know the outcome. I didn't feel worried or jealous. I missed her, but
I felt, This is awesome and she's probably kicking ass. I'll see her
soon and she's in a really good place:'
The two are a happy couple now. And it's a good thing Shay
did all of that P90X, since she lives in a sixth~floor walk~up in
Brooklyn. When Ali comes to visit, Shay first carries Ali up. Then
she goes back for her wheelchair. Then it's down and up one more
time with Ali's luggage.
Now, with America's Got Talent and The Glee Projectunder her
belt, Shay says she has her sights set on a couple of things for the
coming year-her new album, for one. And, she says, 'Tm in the
very early processes of conceptualizing a documentary looking into
gender and the lines and separations we create. The roles people
put us in and the roles we put others in:'
She also has her sights set on the final Avatar course, Wizards.
"It's all about aligning your consciousness and getting into the mass
consciousness and helping the world in a huge way:'
Shay is aware that some people think Avatar is a waste of time
and money. But she simply doesn't subscribe to that. "People have
shared their skepticism;' she says."But when you've had a result like
mine, it's hard to deny the power of being able to change your own
mind. What Avatar is all about is that it doesn't tell you what to
believe. It helps you discover what you do believe, and helps you to
perceive life as you would like to. Learning to live more from your
heart. To me, that sounds pretty good:'•
MAY 2013
CURVE
41
WRITTEN
ON THE
RealL Word star Lauren
Russellopens up about living
with multiple sclerosis.
BY MOLLY WILLIAMS
Multiple sclerosis is a chronic, progressive disease that
affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord; the
symptoms include numbness, blurred vision, and severe
fatigue, among others. In the summer of 2012, The Real L
Word's Lauren Russell was diagnosed with the disease.
"I started having symptoms last July;' Russell says. "It started
with my eye, losing sight over the course of four or five days, which
I learned is something called optic neuritis. At first I just thought
it was odd, and then I saw two or three different doctors pretty
quickly. I got diagnosed a couple of weeks later, so it all happened
really, really fast:'
Once the shock of wore off, Russell decided to learn all she could
about the disease, while she was in the process of getting her vision
and her body back. "To start with my eye;' she says, "I regained my
sight by using an IV of steroids at home for 10 days, which was
interesting. I've never had an at~home IV, but all I really had to
do was be careful, because I had the needle in my arm the whole
time. I can say it's gotten better, the vision has come back, but it still
gets foggy and the blindness comes back temporarily. I feel like this
bionic woman. But they say that after a year I should have my full
vision back:'
During that time, The Real L Word's season was in full swing.
Russell chose to keep her newly diagnosed illness to hersel£ so that
she wouldn't dwell on it."On the one side, I wanted to be educated,
and on the other side, because it's so dependant on your attitude,
I didn't want those negative outcomes stuck in my head;' Russell
says. "The crazy thing is that everyone's outcome is different, so it's
a little scary:'
As with every disease, it's important to stay positive, and that's
exactly what Russell did. Although it's not an easy task, she says
that reaching out and raising awareness really helps her to stay
grounded-and
to focus on a positive outcome.
"The National Multiple Sclerosis Society is coming out with an
all~new online campaign, so you'll be seeing my face on it pretty
soon;' Russell says. "There's MS Awareness Week here in New
York in April, so I'm going to be involved with that. I'm going to be
42
CURVE
MAY 2013
speaking out and getting more involved. I really
want to get out there and be an active spokesper~
son for the disease, and to help as many people
as possible:'
The nation watched as Russell's romance with
Kiyomi McCloskey, the lead singer of Hunter
Valentine, blossomed over the past year. As their love grew,
McCloskey became a steadfast supporter. "Kiyomi has been
awesome since the beginning;' Russell says. "She's been there right
beside me. She's been amazing and really supportive and helpful in
so many ways. I feel very lucky to have a partner like her. I've said
this before-I'm so lucky to have met her when I did, because I
can't imagine going through this alone, or with someone else who
isn't as understanding about it all. She really couldn't be any better
to me. She's amazing:'
Through it all, Russell is still working on her company, Lyon Fine
Jewelry. From the metal~grunge look of spikes to a simple leather
bracelet, the trend in androgynous jewelry can be seen all around
the world. When she launched her company, she began selling the
look with an upscale twist.
With her own diagnosis in mind, Russell designed a charity
bracelet for MS awareness. It's the newest addition to her ever~
popular bracelet collection. With the encouragement of her friends
and family, Russell created the Positivity Bracelet to inspire fellow
MS sufferers and to remind everyone that there is hope. Russell says
the bracelet-a plus sign pendant on an orange (the MS awareness
color) cord-is one of her favorite designs. Fifteen percent of the
proceeds will go directly to the National MS Society.
Never one to indulge in selfpity, Russell is staying optimistic
and aware that she's not the only woman out there with MS. "The
first symptoms that appear are going to be shaken off as nothing,
because it'll be numbness in the leg, or feeling unbalanced, or some~
thing like that;' Russell says. "Not everyone will have a blind eye,
like I had. I feel blessed that I found out when I did. MS is very
common in women around my age, early 30s-most women are
diagnosed between the ages of 28 and 32. It's good to get to know
the disease, so you can check out the symptoms. I wish I had:'•
FASHION»
MAGNEllSM
A QUEERMELBOURNEDESIGNER
HAS A FLAIRFOR FULLERFIGURES.
BY MERRYN JOHNS//
STYLING BY SPRINKLE//
PHOTOS BY ANDREW WUTTKE
HAIR & MAKEUP BY GUTTA SUPERNOVA
Joan Holloway shops at Sprinkle Emporium-at
least
in my mind, anyway. With sizes ranging from the
Australian 8 to 18 (U.S. equivalent, 4 to 16), there is
no doubt that the prolific and idiosyncratic dress
designer Sprinkle Magic has the Mad Men goddess's
body type in mind. Her quirky, nostalgia-inflected,
and
largely practical garments are "cut for curves" -think
Jayne Mansfield's hourglass and Botticelli's pearshaped Venus.
The key to the collection is Sprinkle's signature
wrap, which allows you to indulge in a fitted-bodice
look while letting the bias-cut skirt flatter your hips.
The Spring 2013 line, Wild at Heart, takes the animal
print concept and pairs it with the designer's ongoing
love affair with the wrap.
Cowl necks, which are always flattering to busty
ladies, make an appearance, as do sailor-inspired side
buttons on pants and skirts. Bold solid colors, also flattering to women of size, are mixed with patterns and
borders, to create a commanding silhouette.
Sprinkle Emporium is not your waif-centric, preta-porter shopping nightmare that would make many
women run screaming from the mall. Best of all, the
online store, with a complete size chart, allows you to
shop accurately, and you can have your garments
fitted to your measurements. And if you're shopping
for your lovely lady, gift vouchers are available.
(sprinkle-emporium.com)•
MAY 2013
CURVE
45
UHNK
JAYNE
NIANSF
IELD'S
HOURGLASS
AN,q
~0111CELU'S
PEAR-SHAPED
v ENUS.
46
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47
RUBINSINGER'SHAUTECOUTURE
IS FOR REALWOMEN WITH STYLE.
BY MERRYN JOHNS//
PHOTOS BY BRYCE THOMSON
hat do you think of male fashion designers,
truthfully-women-hating
queens with frail,
zero-minus waifs as their muses? Look at any
fashion runway to have that belief confirmed.
But if you feel like challenging that notion, meet Rubin
Singer, a gay, woman-worshipping
style impresario
with an impeccable fashion pedigree.
Singer is a true lesbro, and like us he has strong
women on his mind: If you watched Beyonce's halftime performance during the Super Bowl, you might
remember her killer duds-designed
by Rubin Singer.
And the chart-topping glamazon is not the only one
to choose Singer's bold fashion concepts, rather than
go with a major designer. Rumored celesbian Queen
Latifah is also a fan, and we know she's no size zero.
Singer's fearlessness, and his unabashed appreciation of women's sizes and strengths, are reflected in
his latest collection, Valkyrie's Dominion, which pays
tribute to the warrior handmaidens of Norse mythology
(with a lashing of fetishwear thrown in for modern
measure). Singer's Valkyrie is a compelling and
contemporary figure: He describes her as "a fearless
social warrior who guards what is hers and conquers
I'm not an evening gown gal, but after one visit to
inger's studio, in the heart of Manhattan's Garment
istrict, I wouldn't want to wear anything else to
nquer the night, and with prices from $700 for
ething a superstar would wear, it's a fantasy to at
t entertain, should the red carpet ever beckon!
48
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MAY 2013
MAY 2013
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49
hat I especially admire about Singer is
the family history that comes with his signature style. His Jewish grandfather fled
the Nazis, walking from occupied Poland
across the border into Russia, where he became
the first couturier for the Communist Party. Singer
Sr. was asked to make a suit for a top Bolshevik in
exchange for his life; luckily, the suit passed the
revolutionary's taste test and a fashion dynasty was
born. His son, Rubin's father, emigrated from Russia
to the United States and made a name for himself
in fashion in the 1970s and became a Studio 54
denizen, where he mixed with the beautiful people
of Manhattan's fashion scene.
After flirting with a career in ballet, Rubin Singer
returned to the family trade, partly as a tribute to his
mother who died in his arms when he was 18 years
old. "I was heartbroken," Singer tells me. "I wanted
to die, too. But I decided to take her spirit and everything she had hoped for in life, to take it into the
future and live. It's why I love designing for women.
I want to design clothes that empower women,
while also representing them as desirable."
For Singer, who studied at Central Saint Marfns
College of Arts and Design in London and ske hes
his own designs, which are works of art them
wes,
the beauty myth is completely mutable. "I make
sizes, from 000 to anything at all," he says.
After all, his father began his design career as a
couturier for the Moscow Circus, dressing horses
and elephants, and making these extraordinary
creatures shine. "The issue is not size," says Singer.
"But the spirit of the wearer is."
He has found such spirit in clients such as Latifah,
who he describes as "amazing" and of course, in
Beyonce. "I can tell you there is a reason she is as
big a star as she is," he confides. His mission for her
Super Bowl costume was to "make her look strong
and sexy." Mission accomplished. The little-known
fashion designer is now the name on everyone's lips
and the label on the A-list's hips. (rubinsinger.com) •
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When she dances, Stormy Leather-the Naked Girl of
Burlesque-is like a firestorm that, as much as you try
to, you just can't tame, and in the end you don't really
want to-if you're smart.
The first time I saw Stormy Leather perform, at a
burlesque show at the Stonewall Inn, it was like being
in the eye of that firestorm-and
I loved it. Stormy
spun a spell, using old-school moves, combined with
naughtier neo-burlesque, that Ishtar, the Babylonian
goddess of love and war, would envy.
Her set was burned into my mind, so I was delighted
when I caught up with her before she headed out to
Vegas, to perform at a new nightclub at the Palazzo.
It also sent me on a Stormy Leather burlesque junket,
taking me to some of the naughtiest and most naked
burlesque shows in the city. She was dubbed the Naked
Girl of Burlesque by her friend and sometimes partner
in burlesque crime, Melody Sweets, whom Stormy
credits with helping her break out of her shellalthough it's hard to believe she was ever in one.
My interview with her revealed a beautiful, creative,
sexy, super-smart woman who loves women, and we
spent much of our time discussing the women in her
life. They often include the women of burlesque, who
love and support one another in life as well as in art. I
had to ask about her sexuality.Tm bi now, gay later;' she
..~~~ti~;~;i.i\
...
,.:.';
THE BISEXUALBOMBSHELL
BARESALL.
BY DAR DOWLING
says, smiling. Coming to terms with her bisexuality was
not easy when she was growing up Southern Baptist in
Oklahoma and Texas, where being bisexual or lesbian
was either a joke or downright dangerous.
In high school, Stormy was confused by her feelings
for women, secretly checking out the girls in the locker
room while still being attracted to her boyfriend. It
wasn't until years later, when a friend came out to her as
bisexual, that Stormy had a name for what she felt, and
someone to talk to-and experiment with.
Until her late 20s, she thought she might be going
through a phase, but while she was living in Chicago she
was finally able to embrace her sexuality. Stormy took
a little heat from friends who thought she should pick
one gender or the other to sleep with. Others wanted
to know whether she liked men or women better. Her
answer?"! love who I love;' she says
For Stormy, love and sex have lots of starting
points-and
none of them have to do with gender. It's
about a connection, whether it begins with a conversation, a feeling, a touch, a smell or a look. Stormy has
been in a long-term relationship with a woman, and
although it didn't last, "It didn't end because she didn't
have a penis;' she says.
Stormy's acts are certainly fun and sexy, using fan
dancing, tassels, pasties and feather boas, along with
drag, bondage, fetishes and other erotic
extras to rile up the crowd. Yet her numbers
make you think-and do a little work to see
what she's getting at. This is one of the reasons why Stormy is so special.
"Daddy's Home'' is a performance piece
that she prepares for by going into a "psychologically dark space:' This Method burlesque,
in full "daddy drag,'' is about a very broken
person who pulled out a gun, rolled on a
condom, and pointed it at her vagina.
For Stormy, this piece is profoundly
personal. "It's a number that shows my
frustration with that distinct difference
between the way men and women are
treated," she says.
For queer burlesque with substance,
Stormy Leather is an absolute must-see.
(stormyleathernyc.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
53
the
exq isite
pere
mpassioned by quick-paced drums, Perle Noire is a flurry
of windmill arms and lively steps, her body adorned by a
beaded loincloth and sparkling pasties. At the final drumbeat, she drops to her knees, her arms thrown back in
abandon. The audience responds with a standing ovation.
As patriarchal society continues its war against the
female body, the burlesque superstar says, ''As an artist, it's
my privilege to ruffle a few feathers while raising awareness
regarding body empowerment and owning your sexuality:'
Perle, who is "attracted to people from both Mars and
Venus;' was crowned Most Dazzling Dancer at the 2012
Miss Exotic World Pageant and is ranked fifth in a worldwide burlesque lineup.
"When you see a woman onstage, topless, fearless and
unapologetic, it ignites something deep within;' says Noire
whose journey toward sexual empowerment started with
dance, particularly the neo-burlesque movement, which
embraces all body types. She recounts her first experience
at the Burlesque Hall of Fame, which hosts a reunion for
queens of past decades and features performers of all sizes
and ages: "I watched beautiful women in their 50s, 60s and
70s strutting their stuff with an air of confidence, power,
elegance and mastery. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. I
decided that I had the right to love myself, my body, and to
ignore the negative sounds of society:•
While she admits to shyness-"my heart is always
pounding before I go on stage"- Noire is a free spirit when
it comes to nudity. She doesn't blush when losing a pastie;
instead, if the crowd hoots enough, she might peel off the
remaining sticker and dance in celebration. As she travels the
world, spreading her sassiness, Noire has noted divergent
attitudes towards nudity. "In my experience, Americans
tend to be the most prudish and squeamish about nudity.
A few years ago, I was invited to join the Teatro Circo
Price circus in Milan. The show was packed every night
with married couples, sassy, refined women and, to my
surprise, families. In America, you have to be over 18 to
see a burlesque show, but in other parts of the world,
nudity is considered natural and artistic instead of lewd
and lascivious:•
Noire's unique beauty is equally mesmerizing both on
an off stage. Her appeal is not only in her curves, but also
in her arresting gaze and vibrant energy. "Selrconfidence
54
CURVE
MfW 2013
is always in season. It's the most important accessory for a
woman to flaunt:' Still, she says that she gets turned down
for jobs for not having "the right look:' The demand for
conventional beauty has driven some dancers to surgery,
including skin-lightening operations. While not opposed
to body modification in general, Noire prefers make-up,
vintage jewelry and to wow audiences with a "grandiose
vision of'exotic' culture and beauty:' She proves that carving your own path can lead to major success. Last year,
she was the first American burlesque queen to headline
in Tokyo.
"It's important for me to showcase [the beauty of]
African culture ... because I'm proud of my heritage, and
I'm honored to pay respect and tribute to the queens who
paved the way for me:• Noire's act "La Baker" celebrates
Josephine Baker, while the more recent"Exotique Mystere"
glamorizes Oshun, an African goddess. Noire says it's her
"mission to change the prototype of burlesque;' which has
often played up racist tropes. "Too many producers present
'exotic' dance acts in their shows in a primitive manner
without the authentic extravaganza power. One particular
producer asked me to take advantage of my authentic exotic
look and create a Voodoo act. I was on board until I saw
the costume sketch. Instead of flaunting a traditional, exaggerated, ornate burlesque costume, the producer wanted
me to appear on stage like a savage. I looked at the sketch
and refused to portray a savage. When I'm on stage, I'm
not only representing myself, but the men and woman of
the stage who knocked down doors so I can walk through
with grace:•
Unfortunately, Hurricane Katrina blew through the
midst of Noire's career, crushing her house. She says that
her New Orleans neighborhood"looked like a scene from
a macabre version of The Wizard of Oz. Houses were literally in the middle of the street:' Though distraught, Noire
worked past her heartbreak, taking time away to reflect
and prepare her return to the stage. Since Hurricane
Katrina, she's performed in Tokyo, Rome, Milan, Sydney
and New Zealand, and is now touring with the Strip
Strip Hooray! show alongside the renowned Dita Von
Teese. "Hurricane Katrina was devastating, but I chose
to fight instead of flight. In the end, I became a beautiful
lotus flower:' (perlenoireburlesque.biz) •
THE BUXOM BURLESQUE
STARCELEBRATESHER BODY
AND HER HERITAGE.
BY ELIZABETH NGUYEN
MEET PROUDQUEER
FATFEMME BEVIN
BRANLANDINGHAM.
BY MOLLY WILLIAMS
an
Bevin Branlandingham is truly aJill-of-all-trades. The self-described
plus-size party girl is an attorney by day and a fabulous, cupcakethrowing femmecee by night. She is also the founder of The Queer
Fat Femme Guide to Life blog, which is a treasure trove of advice,
inspiration and hilarious posts. "It's my relentless pursuit of joy at
the intersection of these three identities: queer, fat and femme;' she
says. "Each identity is an important part of who I am and how I
experience the world, but like all intersectionality those identities
are interdependent. I write about dating, fat fashion and style, sex,
politics, art, body liberation activism, friendship, queer community,
my adventures in travel and selflove, interesting people I meet, my
pets, queer nightlife in New York City and beyond:'
Branlandingham's career in burlesque started when she was laid
off by a law firm and she decided to take advantage of being set
free from her day job and make the transition to making a living
through her art and political work. In 2011 she joined the burlesque scene, performing as a drag king in Philadelphia, which
proved to be a life changing experience for her. "I learned I was
femme by knowing folks who thought it was a good thing to be
femme;' Branlandingham says."! learned it was OK to be fat because
my performer pals thought I was gorgeous and hot and deserved
to be on stage just as much as anyone else. It really helped me get
out of my self-hating shell:'
While in the troupe she also learned how to produce queer
nightlife, something that carried over to her extremely popular
monthly Rebel Cupcake events-fabulous, flamboyant New York
dance parties packed with booze, burlesque performances and
dancing. "I love my community and it is important to me to create
nightlife where people feel safe being themselves when they go
out;' Branlandingham says. "I don't think I can eliminate all folks'
insecurities about going to a dance party but I know fostering a
body-positive, flamboyance-positive environment definitely helps.
That is really rewarding work:'
Branlandingham cuts a striking figure with her two-tone hair,
ample curves and 1,000 watt smile, but it's not always easy
being fabulous. One of her more popular blog posts is called "In
Solidarity with Folks Who Have Been Called 'Too Much:" In it
Branlandingham writes of how she's been called "too fat, too loud
and too feminine" her whole life. She identifies as a body liberation
activist, someone who believes that fat oppression effects everyone
in our society and that everyone can work together to make the
world better and accepting of all bodies. "Personally, I hated my
body for so long and learning that there was another, happier aru:{
better way of life was a revolution;' she says. "I feel so much gra~
rude for my body, for how 'babely' it is and how much I am able tct.
do in it now that I don't feel like I have to hide in baggy clothes and
the bog of depression that comes with self-hate:'
She is currently working on a tell-all memoir about how she
went from being a working stiff in a law firm and getting married to the wrong person to finding her true purpose on the dance
floors of Brooklyn's queer nightlife. Expect it to be full of dyke
drama, sex and empowerment. "My mission in life is to make the
world safe for people to love themselves;' Branlandingham says. "I
believe that everyone in the world is entitled to love themselves
exactly as they are, right now. Self-love is a radical act in our
society and has the power to revolutionize your happiness, how
you experience the world and what you are able to accomplish:'
(queerfatfemme.com) •
eautv
Queen
dreams
KYLANARIANNA WENZEL WAS THE FIRST
TRANSGENDERCONTESTANTTO COMPETE
FORTHE TITLE OF MISS CALIFORNIAUSA
BY KIM HOFFMAN
Ever since Kylan Wenzel saw her first Miss Universe contest on
TV at the age of 11, she's wanted to compete in pageants. So that's
exactly what she did. This past January, at the age of 26, she com~
peted for the title of Miss California USA. There's no doubt about
it, Wenzel, who stands at 5'10;' is drop~dead gorgeous-so when
she didn't make it to the finals, one had to ask, What happened?
Wenzel's story may sound familiar because it was just last year
that a Canadian Miss Universe contestant, Jenna Talackova, was
eliminated from the competition when it was discovered that she is
transgender. Experiencing a tremendous backlash for disqualifying
Talackova, the Miss Universe organization changed its rules.
Wenzel, who moved up her gender reassignment surgery by six
months in order to vie for the crown, spoke to Anderson Cooper
on Anderson Live, where she came out to the public prior to the
pageant. When asked if she felt like she had a fair chance, the
answer was a foreshadowing. It was a simple "No:'
For Wenzel, who was brought up in a military family, making
friends and finding her niche wasn't easy, but moving around a lot
gave her an appreciation for many different cultures throughout
the world. Still, growing up proved difficult at times. "I was picked
on for being extremely feminine and not doing what boys were
suppose to do, for having a high~pitched voice and basically thinking
and acting like a girl:' She channeled her interests into contests as
diverse as Miss Universe and the Olympics, and into astronomy,
music, fashion and, of course, modeling.
When she made the decision to transition from male to female,
she flew to Thailand for the high~risk operation, where she stayed
for weeks, under the care of someone she lovingly refers to as
"Mommy Dawn:' Hearing the voice of her boyfriend on the phone
every day to help her heal. 'After my surgery, when I went to the
California court to become legally female, for the first time in my
life I felt free. I was relieved that I was finally allowed to be mysel£
and that people were seeing me for the person I was for the very
first time in my life;' she says.
Wenzel was now prepared to compete for Miss California USA.
During a rehearsal, she was informed that the she and the cluster
of women she had been grouped with would probably not make
it to finals. Her confidence fading, she then overheard a group of
contestants whispering crude things about her-contestants
who
did make it to the finals. "Men feel insecure with admitting that
I am an attractive female, and women find it unfair that I am
allowed to compete with these girls;' says Wenzel, shedding some
light on real~life transphobia.
Although she refers to the Miss USA competition as "one of
the worst experiences" of her life, Wenzel was reminded that this
event, though not the landmark win for the trans community that
she had hoped it would be, was in fact a huge victory after all,
simply because it happened-and
Wenzel was there to represent.
"When the judges are picking the winner, it's not supposed to
be about the swimsuit, or the evening gown, it's about the girl in
the swimsuit and gown. They can change your evening gown. They
can give you a makeover. It shouldn't matter if the girl trips on the
runway or how many twirls she has in her swimsuit walk;' Wenzel
points out. It's a judging operation that has been scrutinized over
the years for placing a "cookie cutter" figure up on the pedestal, one
that Wenzel calls "Victoria Secret;' and was told to "stay close to:'
Though the Miss USA system let Wenzel down, there are
people in her life-her family, her boyfriend, several women in the
media-who influence and guide her to move forward. She wishes
funny lady Lucille Ball were still alive, so they could live next door
to each other and joke around. Likewise, she identifies with Ellen
DeGeneres, since DeGeneres uses her comedy for good clean fun
and doesn't cut others down in the process. And, of course, there's
supermodel Tyra Banks. "By watching America's Next Top Model, I
felt like she was personally telling me how beautiful I am, just the
way I am:'
In Wenzel, there is supreme inner strength that is both tried and
true. A part of her regrets having been so forthcoming on national
television, and wonders whether it would have made a difference
if she'd waited to come out until after the pageant had ended. But
she has landed herself onto a master list of pioneers-she's a risk~
taker fighting for all the ll~year~old kids sitting in front of their
TVs watching a pageant, whatever their gender, sexual preference,
body type, color, or grasp of the world and all its sudden hurdlesbarriers that people like Wenzel are prepared to knock down.
Wenzel has big plans to go to the state capitol in Sacramento
with the Gay Straight Alliance, proposing a new bill for transgender
youth. And speaking of hurdles-'Tve also thought about becoming
a marathon runner. The Olympics accept transgender individuals.
But my running days might be over;' she laughs. But can't a girl
dream? Never say never. (kylanariannawenzel.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
57
I
change
mygen er
AT 57,TERENZIOSTONE BEGANHIS
TRANSITIONFROM FEMALETO MALE.
"Hi Sally. Great to see you:' We hug. "Been a long time:'
I pull out the slat back aluminum chair opposite her and sit at
the table in the noisy vegan fast food joint. The restaurant smells
cozy, of warm roasted vegetables and grains in late winter. It is
Saturday early afternoon and the place is packed with telecommuters tapping away, iPhone buds deep in their ears. I get to the
point. It has been a long time since we set eyes on each other.
"In case you're wondering;' I say,"I am transitioning:'
"Congratulations;' she says, eyebrows arched.
That's what people say to me these days. Or they say, That's
very courageous. But I'm baffled by both responses. Why is it
courageous? It makes me wonder if some fucking brick house is
about to land on my head. I take it in stride and we chat.
I am 57 years old and recently started the transition from female
to male. When I thought about writing this I thought there's not
much to report yet since it's my first year on testosterone. But
then I came to the realization that I had spent five decades or
18,262 days, which is 430,000 hours thinking about this. I have
plenty to say about what it feels like-what it means to become
myself-a man. This decision didn't happen overnight.
For a very long time, through adolescence and most of my adult
life, I felt like a prisoner in a cell. One day the door was suddenly
flung open. I stepped into a sense of freedom I have rarely experienced and mostly fantasized about. Even two years ago you would
have had to hit me with a two-by-four to make me quit imagining
this step and actually do it. It would be like someone telling me
I was going to invent time travel, go into the future, grab some
Lotto numbers and return and win Powerball.
Believe me, I tried for a long, long time to live as a woman.
However, in spite of my best efforts, my life as a self-identified
lesbian was miserable. On any given morning I'd wake up with
a feverish truth in my stomach: "Get me the fuck out of here!"
"Somatized stress" a shrink used to call it. But as I got older, I realized shrinks don't have the answer. I was sick of hearing I was not
a loser, just someone who made bad choices (you know, chooser,
not a loser). What was really going on was that no amount of
shrinkage had acknowledged let alone freed my masculine sel£
It was still chained up, unrecognized or ascribed to bad alcoholic
58
CURVE
MAY 2013
behavior (1 got sober at 25). The project was still how to be a
happy homosexual.
After the last therapeutic go-round of desperately clinging to:
the long-term girlfriend, condo-buying fantasy, and a grinding
full-time job that sucked up all my creative energy, I quit psychotherapy. I slammed out of the office, snarling at my shrink,"You're
useless!" When I was 25 I was aware that my life was fucked up
but I still hoped that my gnawing gut might be wrong and that it
could get better. By 55, I had real evidence that going along with
what other people wanted me to be was killing me.
Yet, despite all the gaystream suburban lesbians that I secretly
envied who had fabulous Martha Stewart Home lifestyles, I had
no desire to change into a better, more successful lesbian at that
point. The ongoing project of fitting in wasn't helping, neither
were the questions: with 10 years left could I make a mark that
represented who and what I really wasr What could I do at this
point in my life to signal success?
After returning to New York from a terrible professional consulting job in D.C., still smarting from a failed romantic relationship,
I came home, unpacked my clothes and began to hang them up.
Looking at each tame and boring outfit, I had the stunning yet
quiet epiphany. I will never put on women's clothes again. At that
moment I realized that my only real failure was a lifelong attempt
to pass as a woman.
With that one simple decision of what I was and was not going
to wear every day, regardless of the situation, I'd crossed a point of
no return. And I wouldn't go back. I felt a new sense of agency I
have never experienced. Ever.
Sally and I did catch up over roasted vegetables and vegan
cheesesteak subs. She offered a chance to collaborate on her new
project-a
theatrical homage to Cocteau. When we parted she
hugged me and observed: "You seem more comfortable in your
skin:'
"You can see that, huhr It's true. For the very first time I
have the sense that my inner self matches up with the outer
one;' I agreed
'J\nd you're really hot;' she said, eyes twinkling.
"Well, of course that's the most important thing:'•
fatand
prou
STACYBIAS HAS DEVOTEDHER LIFE
TO FIGHTINGA BIG SOCIETALSTIGMA.
BY ELIZABETH ESTOCHEN
60
CURVE
MAY 2013
At the mention of"fat activism;' any number of women-or men,
for that matter-will cringe, crinkling their noses at what the term
might entail. Our culture's stigma against fat people, especially
women, is no secret. And given the uproar over our "obesity epi~
demic;' and the campaign to identify it as a major health threat,
the idea of fat activism is controversial. It takes a strong and
determined person to lead the charge, both embracing fatness and
boldly fighting for equality. That's where Stacy Bias comes in.
What does the opaque term "fat activism" mean, exactly? What
wrongs does it want to seek to right? Fat activism "means equal
access to medical care, an end to economic and social discrimi~
nation, and an end to dangerous and dehumanizing state and
public discourses around fat bodies;' says Bias. It's an equal rights
movement, and is frequently intertwined with other movements
to battle discrimination. Bias lists off "racism, classism, sexism,
homophobia, ableism-because
these topics are so interrelated
that it makes little sense to look at one without considering the
implications of and for the others:'
The founder of the company Dyke Tees, Bias began her journey
as a fat activist in Portland, Ore., in 2002, after being inspired by
an intersex, genderqueer and sex worker spoken~word event, which
was organized by third wave feminist Emi Koyama. "That night
WHAT THE HECK IS
FATACTIVISMANYWAY?
Stacy Bias gives us the (not-so) skinny
on the social justice movement.
So what exactly is fat activism?
It's an umbrellaterm for a movementthat contains a multitude
of voices and myriad, sometimeseven conflicting goals. There
is no singlespokesperson,voice or goal of fat activism because
fat is an intersectionalissue. This meansthat fatness intersects
all other forms of oppression: racism, ableism,classism,
sexism, homophobiajust to namea few. That said, it's fairly
safe to assumethat most fat activists, somewhere in their
work, are striving toward an end to discrimination based on
size. This meansequal access to medicalcare, an end to social
stigma, economic marginalization,and job discrimination.
was the first time I ever came out publicly to represent TechnoDyke
[Bias's former online forum], and the reason for my previous absence
was a fear of others knowing I was fat, and judging the site as less
valuable somehow because of it;' Bias recalls. "I felt that the stigma
attached to my fat body would be projected onto the site, and I
didn't want to damage it:' The event opened up a new world for
Bias. "I was moved by the raw emotionality and complete lack of
apology with which Emi and her fellow performers took the stage;'
says Bias."Emi's event helped me to realize how ridiculous it was to
continue to give power to stigma, and I got angry:'
Bias harnessed that anger, and transformed it into a constructive
force. She began by forming a committee, then organized FatGirl
Speaks, a day of conferences and workshops and an evening of
entertainment by fat~fronted performance groups. The event
was a huge hit. FatGirl Speaks sold out, and Bias's work took
off from there.
Fat activism is unique in its complexity, consisting of several
ideas that support a basic statement of equal rights. One of the
most difficult elements is what Stacy Bias defines as "the difference
between trying to make an institution fit and tearing down existing
structures to allow room for new ones to grow that work for
everyone:' This is to say that instead of accepting the "fat is beauti~
ful" mantra, the ultimate solution to the problem of fat stigma is to
question why beauty is relevant at all. It's a concept that the masses
might not care to wrap their heads around, let alone support, and
it's an ambitious goal to aspire to.
What is the next step for Bias? She's relocated to London, U.K.,
to study anthropology and media at Goldsmiths, University of
London in the hope of learning more theory to aid in her activism.
Currently, she is working on the Fat Experience Project, an oral,
visual and written history project in which varying first~person
experiences of fatness will reveal an over~arching narrative view of
geography, culture and politics. Bias continues to encourage others
to come into their own. 'J\ttempting to love your body, rejecting
hate and negative messages, building self~care-all of this is work
worth doing;' she states. 'J\nd in the meantime, there is also work
to be done to tear down the structures that make that work so
difficult:' (stacybias.com) •
Why are you reclaiming the word "fat"?
Mainly,fat is truly the only objective descriptor out there. Fat is
exactly that: fat. It's somethingone has, a cell type. Everyone
has fat cells. Somehave more. Some have less.
How will I know fat activism when I see it?
It looks like lots of things! It looks like puttingtogether a
dance party in an accessiblevenuewhere all bodiescan be
comfortable. It looks like organizinga clothing exchangeso
peoplecan trade clothing in an environmentthat is warm and
encouragingrather than buyingnew things. It looks like forming
a committeeand taking on local governmentto add size as
a protected class againstdiscriminationalongsidegender,
sexualityand ability. It looks like acknowledgingfellow fatties
on the street. It looks stuffing flyers in diet books. It looks like
speakingup when someonesays somethingterrible about fat
peoplein front of you. It looks like interruptingsizeist practices
in your workplace or goingwith a fat friend to the doctor as
an ally againstdiscrimination.It looks like wearing tank tops
and showingyour arm flab, or working to accept yourself even
when you don't feel comfortable doingthat. It looks like being
seen,and seeingothers as undeniablyfull-bodied,well-rounded,
complexand worthwhile humanbeingsregardlessof size,
gender identity, ability, ethnicity, class, age or sexualorientation.
I'm in-how do I join the revolution?
There is an abundanceof resources out there to help you
discover your own local fat community.Here are a few sites to
get you started:
NOLOSE.ORG: A vibrant communityof fat queers and their allies,
with a shared commitmentto end the oppressionof fat people!
NAAFAONLINE.COM: Foundedin 1969,the NationalAssociation
to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA)is a non-profit civil rights
organizationdedicated to endingsize discrimination in all of its
forms.
BELLENOIRMAG.BLOGSPOT.COM: Bi-monthlyweb zine was
created to promote the positive imageof big beautiful women
of color.
MAY 2013
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61
STYLEPIONEERVELVETD'AMOURCELEBRATES
AND SHOWCASESBODY DIVERSITY.
BY MOLLY WILLIAMS
Luscious curves, amble bosoms and voluptuous thighs aren't exactly
what come to mind when one thinks of high fashion runways, but
that hasn't stopped Velvet d'Amour. The plus~sized model caused
quite a stir when she modeled for fashion heavyweights like John
Galliano and Jean Paul Gaultier. But haute couture controversy is
just the beginning for the glamorous d'Amour, who is also talented
photographer with her own business Velvetography. d'Amour is
also the founder of the fashion magazine VOLUP2.
Many pay lip service to the idea of greater inclusivity in fashion,
images of "real women'' and models who fall outside of the main~
stream concept of beauty. D'Amour, however, is actually doing
something about it-on every glossy, gorgeous page of VOLUP2.
The body~centric fashion magazine (think V but with a whole lot
more curves) not only features plus~size models, but also models of
every gender, sexuality, size and race.
Why did you create VOLUP2?
I started VOLUP2 last year as I wanted to create a magazine that
showcased who fashion left behind. The plus magazines in exis~
tence often avoid using larger plus~size models or models beyond
hourglass shape. I hoped to show more diversity within plus sizes
but also to showcase older women, women who are differently
abled, as well as a plethora of different ethnicities, and also include
some mainstream models. I think what is needed is diversity and
my creating VOLUP2 is a way to showcase diversity in fashion.
VOLUP2 features queer models as well. Was that by design?
That is a conscious choice, as it's all part of diversity and I
honestly don't get not showcasing all people. We all exist and yet
so many end up feeling badly about themselves because there is
little to no representation within mainstream media. By avoiding
inclusion and constantly glorifying an image, which is for the
vast majority exceedingly inaccessible, we end up
with people hating themselves instead of loving
themselves. It simply makes sense to feature queer
models along with everyone else as we are the
fabric of humanity, and I hope to celebrate all that
is gloriously human.
What is your favorite way to celebrate your
body?
I celebrate my body by photographing others,
oddly enough. It's really nice to take out my camera
and showcase the genuine perfection that is real~
ity, to uplift other women. It's easy to get lost in a
world that saturates us with unending images that
are made to create a sense of inferiority. I believe
that art is a way that so many of us can feel vali~
dated and can fall in love with ourselves again, as
we aren't born hating ourselves-that
message is
taught to us along the way.
What advice do you have for those struggling
with self-acceptance?
I think one of the first steps towards making peace
with your body is to realize that it is normal.
Modeling for a life drawing class is a great way to
see yourself as a work of art. Another thing you
can do is head to the museum and see that every
era had its beauty ideal and it is up to us to realize
this and make this era our era, however you may
look. You are unique, celebrate it! (volup2.com) •
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63
THE
CLIKS'LEADER
ONGEN
DER,
ROMANCE
AND
THEBEATLES.
BY DAVE STEINFELD
OVER
THE
YEARS,
there
have been more than a few times when I've
discussed relationships with other men: traded war stories, commiserated over a broken heart, or attempted (often in vain) to
better understand the female psyche. But doing this over drinks
with Lucas Silveira is different from doing it with any of my other
buddies, if for no other reason than that he used to be a woman. As
longtime Curve readers and alternative music fans know, Silveira
is not only the leader of Canadian rock band the Cliks but also
a transgender male, the first trans male, in fact, to be signed
to a major label. On a frigid February afternoon, over drinks in
Brooklyn, I remind Silveira (who is now engaged) of something he
told me in 2011, a year when both of us had our hearts broken."Oy.
Women, dude. I wish having been one would give me more insight.
But the more I'm around them, the more I fully realize that I am
indeed a man-inside
and, now, out:' Having found that fascinating on a number of levels, I ask Silveira to expand on it.
"This is going to bite me in the ass, isn't it?" he asks with a laugh.
"Well, I think when I said that I was going through some heartache. What man who's dumped doesn't say shit like that, right? But
in all seriousness, it's true. I think like a man, and I know it because
of conversations I've had with men around trying to understand
the complexities of women. My cousin told me the other day something that made me laugh, which was that in any relationship you
can either be right or you can be happy. I think women choose
more to be right and men choose more to be clueless.
"Being a person who identifies as a male in a physicality [that is]
still female, and then transitioning to a male, was a very interesting
thing;' he continues. "I still believe that somewhere in my psyche
there is a place that has been conditioned and socialized to be female.
So I do think I have the upper hand on understanding women.
But at the same time, there is something about the connection to
emotion that is very different. And trying to understand women
while also having been one was probably one of the most complex
things I've ever done, and continue to do. Especially now, because I
believe that [the] hormones have made me really think like a dude!
I don't know if they change your brain chemistry, or what they do,
but things that used to bother me don't bother me anymore. The
way I process information now is very different. I can't multitask
anymore. I forget things a lot! I could say that's a male attribute, or
I could say it's a unique thing to myself as an individual-maybe
I just think about different things [now]. You know, it's very complicated. But the whole female thing is ... it's so ... it's like this whole
mourning thing I had to go through. I love women so much. I feel
so comfortable around them. In a group of dudes vs. females, I always
find myself wanting to have more conversations with women than
I do with men:'
"But you never really felt like a woman?" I ask.
NO !
I mean, I thought I did, but no. It's very, very
hard for me to [say either] 'I don't get them
because I never was one; or 'I do get them because I was one: I know that sounds really complicated and I don't
think I'm saying what I mean, exactly. I feel like women are built
differently, emotionally. I truly believe that women have a higher
tolerance for emotion. Like, now I get sad and it's really intense,
but it's never as intense as it used to be. I feel like I wanna cry but I
can't-there's a numbness. But that's my particular experience. I'm
not saying that all men are like that:'
In addition to the other changes that Silveira has endured in the
last few years-biologically, geographically, musically, personallyhe has fallen in love again. By definition a hopeless romantic, he
met Skye Chevolleau a few months after moving back to Toronto
and is now engaged to her. "She's awesome;' he replies when I ask
him to describe her. 'i\nd, of course, [she's] always right! Seriously
though, she's great-an extremely talented and beautiful human
being who doesn't see her own potential. She's a piano player, can
play classical music by ear, yet she doesn't call herself a musician.
She's also an amazing singer.
"The beautiful thing is that she sees me. She doesn't see my gender,
she doesn't see my sexuality, she sees the person that I am. And
that's what I always needed from a human being. When I met Skye,
she was primarily lesbian-identified. I was like, 'Is this gonna be
a problem? Am I [running] into a wall here, trying to be with a
woman who really, really loves womenr' And it totally isn't an issue.
11
MAY 2013
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65
I'm who she wants to be with-but she's also attracted to women.
It made me think about these straight women I would meet who
would all of a sudden fall in love with a girl. They'd be like, 'I don't
understand it! I know I'm straight, but I'm in love with this chick.
Does that make me gay?' And I [was] like, 'No, not really. It just
[means] that you're in love with a woman:
"So many people want gender and sexuality to be this very
simple thing. You're a man or you're a woman! You're gay or you're
straight! And if you're bisexual, then you're confused. And it's like,
'No, it's not like that at all: I always bring it back to the whole
Cynthia Nixon [thing]. When she said, 'I chose to be gay; the gay
community fucking went crazy about that. Why are you losing
your shit about a woman saying she chose to be gay? [People think]
you can't say things like that because if you say things like that, that
means we can choose to not be gay. Like, if you choose to be gay
it's wrong, but if you don't choose to be gay
it's OK? No! People need to start realizing
that if you want people to accept you as you
are, you need to accept them within [the]
community for how they are. I have seen so
many gay women ... who will totally be like,
Tm done with you' when they find out that
one of their lesbian friends started dating a
guy. They see it as a betrayal:'
There's no question that having been born
a woman but living as a male (one who has
had top surgery and undergone hormone
replacement therapy) has given Silveira a
unique way of looking at gender. But other
things have changed for him as well since
the last Cliks album, Dirty King, arrived in
2009. The band's long-awaited third studio
outing, Black Tie Elevator, arrived in April.
Produced by the Toronto-based musician
Hill Kourkoutis, the 11 songs on Black Tie
Elevator will no doubt surprise those who
thought they had the Cliks pigeonholed
after the ballsy but melodic rock of Dirty
King and their ace debut album, Snakehouse. Turns out, a physical transformation wasn't the only change Lucas Silveira had up
his sleeve. The new Cliks album largely abandons rock in favor of
blues, reggae and soul.
"It was sort of a fluid thing that happened;' says Silveira of the
change in musical direction. "I didn't really notice that it was happening, [but] every time I played for somebody, they'd be like,
'Wow, this is really different!' [I was] like, 'I know!' I'm starting to
feel more comfortable writing from a place of the influences that
I've always had, which were, like, Prince, Michael Jackson, Lenny
Kravitz, Marvin Gaye. I've always had a real big love for soul
music-but I also loved rock. When I first started the band, I was
in this really rock phase in my life. It might have had something to
do with the fact that I felt like rock'n' roll was really masculine, and,
as somebody who was embodying this new identity, but having to
remain in the physicality of a female, I really feel like I was trying
to overcompensate, without even realizing that. Whenever I would
sing a soul song or try to write [one], I would always break it off
halfway through. [But] when my voice deepened and I saw the texture
and the soulfulness, it just felt like a natural place to go to:'
Though it takes a bit of getting used to, Black Tie Elevator
rewards repeated listening and represents an important step in
the Cliks' evolution. Like many of the best musicians, Silveira
refuses to make the same album twice. Some of the highlights
of the disc include the reggae-tinged opener, "Stop Drinking My
Wine''; "Sleeping Alone;' a ballad that could have been recorded in
the '50s or early '60s; "4 Letter Words;' which features a lovely vocal
turn from Chevolleau; and the dramatic "Walking in a Graveyard;'
which closes the album. Of the latter track, Silveira says, "[That]
was one of the last songs I wrote before going into the studio. After
returning to Toronto from living in Brooklyn, I came back to a lot
of loss. My ex-girlfriend had done a lot of damage to my life by
spreading rumors that weren't true-and because of it, I lost some
really close friends. I also feel like I lost part of my community,
from judgment. People don't know the truth but they are always
apt to judge. [So] I went through this
bizarre range of emotions that made me
feel like I was in a city with the living dead.
This may sound funny but I started writing
the song after watching an episode of Star
Trek: Next Generation where Dr. Crusher
attends her grandmother's funeral and
stays at her house and is then haunted by
her grandmother's invisible lover. There's
a scene where she goes to visit her grandmother's grave, trying to figure out what's
happening, and the image just [resonated
with me]. I got on the piano and boom!
There's the song. It was strange, the whole
way it came out. It reminded me of something from New Orleans:'
Despite Black Tie Elevator's foray into
new musical stylings, rest assured that
Silveira has not lost his love of melodic rock.
I've always known that he is a huge fan of
the Fabs and, in fact, that his first rule in
life is not to trust anyone who doesn't like
them. This time around, I had to ask him
point blank what the Beatles mean to him."No one's ever asked me
that question and I love it;' Silveira replies. "In my opinion, they're
one of the most revolutionary bands ever. They opened so many
people's minds. When you go from 'Please Please Me' to a song like
'Within You Without You; how can you not be like, 'What the fuck
is going on?!'
"When I was a kid, I lived in Portugal;' he continues. "I lived in
a village 0£ like, 600 people, and we had very little music. So my
dad and my sister would order music from a magazine. You'd pick
out what you wanted and you'd pay for it. My sister would order
stuff and then my dad ordered a Beatles Greatest Hits [collection].
I was a very lonely kid. I didn't feel comfortable hanging out with
other kids, and I think that was mainly because I was always being
referred to by gender. And I just remember sitting in front of this
tape player-literally, with my arms crossed and my eyes closed, at
the age of 6 and 7-listening to the Beatles. I really believe, fundamentally, that my love of melody comes from that place. They
were my teachers:' And Silveira was clearly a good student. Like
the Beatles, he continues to evolve, to make good music, and to defy
expectations all along the way. (thecliks.com) •
"SO MANY PEOPLE
WANT GENDERAND
SEXUALITYTO BE
THIS VERYSIMPLE
THING. YOU'REA
MAN OR YOU'REA
WOMAN! YOU'RE
GAY OR YOU'RE
STRAIGHT!AND IF
YOU'RE BISEXUAL,
THEN YOU'RE
CONFUSED.AND IT'S
LIKE,'NO, IT'S NOT
IKE THAT AT ALL."'
66
CURVE
MAY 2013
•
hile her boisterous nature has made Ditto a star it can also come
at a cost-as was the case with her recent arrest in Portland, Ore.
for disorderly conduct. After being cut off and ejected from a bar,
Ditto reportedly stood in the middle of the road, shoes off, shouting "Obama!" (well, at least her politics were in the right place).
However, Ditto is no diva. Despite being embraced by the likes of
Kate Moss, Karl Lagerfeld, and all of Germany (where her single
"Heavy Cross" was especially successful), Ditto remains a down-toearth small-town girl who refuses to think of herself as a celebrity,
surrounds herself with people she first met in her teens, and always
keeps an emergency beauty school tuition fund tucked away-just
m case.
In Curve's first ever interview with Ditto, the singer speaks
quickly, in bursts of syllables laced with her broad Arkansas accent.
Whether she's talking about enduring poverty as a child or sitting
in the front row at New York Fashion Week, she invites a sense
of familiarity and easy intimacy, so that forgetting she is a bona
fide rock star is a simple task. And it's this same contradiction of
dazzling presence and genuine humility that makes Ditto such a
source of fascination and inspiration. Whether she's stripped down
to a bra and soaked in sweat on stage or commanding the pages of
a glossy fashion mag in full couture regalia, you never look away
from Ditto-and
really, why would you want to?
Today, Ditto is known as a successful musician, an activist, and
an unconventional muse in the world of high fashion; however,
her life has not been all glitz and glamour. In her memoir, Coal
to Diamonds-which
the singer wrote with the help of Michelle
Tea-Ditto discusses growing up dirt poor in Judsonia, Ark., with
unflinching candor. When asked how she was able to be so open,
Ditto credits both Tea and her upbringing-using her typical mixture of introspection and humor. "I think it was easier, when I was
working with Michelle, because we kind of understood each otherthere was no explaining [required);' says Ditto."! think it was being
able to talk to her via the queer language, not having to explain
'trans; and, you know, like, 'post-op;'pre-op;'femme: Knowing what
all those things mean. Knowing that she could understand them
because she had also lived them. It made it really easy to be frank,
and not, like, really watered down. I'm also Southern and I think
Southerners, we're notorious for being over-sharers. We absolutely
don't have a filter. We just say whatever's on our minds-except for
'God damn' in mixed company. Don't say that;' jokes Ditto.
In the book, Ditto lays bare the generations of abuse that colored every aspect of her early life. It actually started before she
was born, when her mother suffered sexual abuse at the hands of
her father, Ditto's grandfather. (The case went to trial and Ditto's
mother, Velmyra Estel, not yet a teenager when the court proceedings began, was publicly shamed and called a liar by the town and
then by a judge, who found Velmyra's father not guilty.) This cycle
of abuse would continue on into Ditto's life; neither she nor her
siblings and cousins were left unharmed. She shares stories of both
70
CURVE
MAY 2013
overt abuse and the more insidious kind: quiet, endemic abuse
that, when endured with enough regularity, becomes the norm.
In one particularly chilling instance, she tells a story of her cousin
being forced to spend every evening with his nose pressed into
the corner of the room-a punishment that went on for most of
his childhood.
"I felt it was really important that I told that story, because it was
such an important story to me and really shaped my view of the
world ... and of what constitutes abuse. You don't have to punch
a kid in the face for that to be called abuse or neglect. I always
call that '80s child abuse ... that's not really the way it looks, afterschool-special style. It wasn't that black and white. It wasn't that
easy to read. It wasn't that easy to see. It took me until adulthood
to see that, actually, these things were absolutely abuse and totally
traumatizing. And that's why they stuck with me for so long. So
for me it was really important to talk about. Also, to tell this story,
to let people know that we were on their side:' Ditto adds, "I still
have a really hard time sleeping at night sometimes [thinking about
my younger cousins). I have nightmares about them constantly. I
can't imagine what they go through. Just talking about it makes
me super-emotional. Writing it and talking about it with Michelle
was really hard. The dreams that I would constantly have. It's just
really sad:'
Throughout her childhood and teens, Ditto lived a nomadic
life, moving between family members' homes, moving on whenever
living conditions became too toxic. Although she struggled to find
her place at home, she did find a place among the outcasts in her
high school. When faced with her burgeoning sexuality, Ditto
appealed to her high school boyfriend to get her pregnant, thinking
that it would somehow solve her growing gay problem. Fortunately
for Ditto, her boyfriend had the forethought to decline her suggestion-a rare piece of luck for her in a community where teen
pregnancy was common. Even with that bullet dodged, Ditto was
on the verge of being swept into a life of struggle, abuse, and poverty when she discovered feminism, an exotic ideology in repressed
and patriarchal Judsonia. "I had to get out of there. I just couldn't
be around it anymore. And I feel like that's where feminism saved
me. It came in and gave me a language to identify those feelings and
right some wrongs. And also to forgive myself'
Today, feminism still remains at the core of Ditto's beliefs,
and when many young women shy away from the label "feminist;' Ditto proclaims it proudly. "Embracing feminism was what
saved my life, so of course I'm going to be a force for it. I think the
reason why other women are afraid of it is because I think we're
afraid of our power:'
Another hugely influential discovery for Ditto was stumbling
across the Riot Grrrl movement, thanks to VHS copies of music
videos by Hole, Veruca Salt, and Nirvana-smuggled in from out of
town because MTV was banned in Judsonia-and zines cherished
and passed around among her friends (Gossip guitarist Nathan
Howdeshell was already a friend). The DIY feminist movement,
inspired by the likes of Bikini Kill and Bratmobile, helped Ditto
to embrace her sexuality, reinforce her growing feminist inclinations, and ultimately leave her family and move from Arkansas
to Olympia, Wash., where she started her band. "So many women
from our generation benefitted from Riot GrrrL When people are
like, 'It didn't change anything,' that is utter bullshit. I don't think
it's even arguable:'
"I still consider myself a Riot Grrrl;' says Ditto. "I don't have
any cat's-eye glasses, but, you know, I would if they fit my face.
But they're too small. You know what, cat's-eye glasses are sizeist.
There, I said it;' she jokes.
Ditto's bold decision to move across the country, leaving behind
everything she knew, paid off. Once ensconced in the Northwest
music scene, Ditto found her true calling as the frontwoman for
Gossip. It has given the once-voiceless Ditto a global voice, a responsibility that she takes seriously. "I feel like when I have a chance to
use the voice, I do. Maybe it's because I come from a punk background, where it's not cool to be, like,'Yes! I do feel very important!'"
she jokes. "I think it's better to be self deprecating. But I do feel
very important in that I'm from a really important movement and
was influenced by that and got to be part of it and got to perpetuate
it, for sure:'
While she is loath to call herself a celebrity, Ditto is hopeful that
her radical messages will resonate with future generations. "One
person can grow up and be someone you never thought they could
be, and change everything. You don't think about that when you're
25 and you're meeting a 10-year-old, a 12-year-old, a 15-yearold-and they're listening to music, or writing, and reading your
zine or your blog. You don't think about that. But guess what, in
20 years, when that person is 35, they could be a fucking senator.
You don't know. And in the moment, it's like you can't plant the
tree and want it to grow the next day. It's going to take 10 years.
That's what activism is, period. Every little bit counts:' She adds,
"Patience is the key in activism, and I'm sorry, but it is. I know we
want it now, but we have got to be patient. Sometimes there's not
time and that fucking sucks, and some people don't have time and
it's an injustice, but it's a reality:'
One of the places where Ditto is successfully making her mark
now is in the world of body politics. Much has been made of
Ditto's stature, and while most women would crumble under the
intense scrutiny she has faced about her body, Ditto actually welcomes it. She is proud-ready
and willing to talk about fat politics
and subvert expectations about how women are supposed to look,
behave, and feel about themselves. "I just feel like it's a good topic
of conversation. I feel like I get sick of it weighing on my mind, but
MAY 2013
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I don't feel resentful. I'm comfortable being a guinea pig. I'm like,'lf
you want to discuss, discuss away. If you want to debate, go for it:
I'm not digging around for it on the Internet. Which is another key
to happiness in my life. I just feel like when things start to weigh on
me, I just have to remind myself to get in touch with what's going
on with me and how I personally feel about it. And so I think
that keeps me from being resentful toward that kind of attention.
I don't feel a lot of pressure. I feel like it's more important to talk
about it honestly. I guess I've just accepted that as one of the things
about being a person who's recognizable or identifiable:'
And for those people who claim to simply be concerned about
her health, Ditto has this to say: "Well, are you concerned about
people who weigh 120 pounds and smoke every day and do loads
of coke on the weekends? Are you concerned about them, just
because you look at them and they're thin? No. So let's talk about
concern later. That's always my answer to that:' Ditto continues, "I
72
CURVE
MAY 2013
love to throw my blood pressure around in people's faces, which is
120 over 78, which is perfect. Literally, textbook perfect. So that's
my favorite trick. I love it. I think the facts speak. They really speak
loudly. It's an insane idea to me that people would look at a person
who's in the right height-weight index and think, Oh, they're
healthy, when it's like you don't even know what they're doing to
play into that little limit that you've decided was the right one, and
I think that's just absurd. You can't judge a book by its cover:'
Perhaps it's this utterly unapologetic attitude that has allowed
Ditto to penetrate one of the least fat-friendly cultures imaginable: the world of high fashion. Ditto has walked the runway for
Jean Paul Gaultier, rubbed elbows with Karl Lagerfeld, and was
featured in a stunning editorial in Pop magazine, in which she was
decked out in couture from Prada, Yves Saint Laurent, and Marc
Jacobs. But even when playing muse to some of the world's top
designers, Ditto remains faithful to her mantra, The Personal Is
Political. "There's also something really awesome about being that
like, J\.m I doing this? Why am I doing this? Is this the Man's way
of tricking me into being played that way?'
person, that guinea pig. And sometimes it just takes somebody to
When Ditto discusses her upcoming wedding to her fiancee,
be there, to be, like,Tm not accepting this. Fuck that. No way:
"I feel like things have happened. And change is slow, and it's Kristin Ogata, the already vivacious singer becomes even more
animated. "It's in June, I'm flying my family to Arkansas. I've been
real. But meeting with those designers you learn so much about
told not to tell anyone where it is. Kristin was like, 'Will you please
where they're coming from. It's also a money thing. I think what's
more insane is how much money that shit costs. I think there's
stop telling people where we're getting married?' And I was like,
a lot of different arguments that go with fashion-about
bodies,
'Oh yeah, I guess that's a good idea: It's really good to get really
excited. I feel really lucky because I have a lot of really awesome
attitudes, money. It is an elite, exclusive, privileged world. And I
friends who are in the biz, in the beauty biz. I think it's going to
get to peek into it. Mind you, not as deeply as other people, but
be really beautiful, it's going to be incredible. And I can't wait to
I feel like I've penetrated it really pretty deeply, and it's fun and
confusing sometimes. Also, my dad used to have this saying when
be married. I've never been that girl who's like, Tm going to get to
wear a beautiful dress; so to me it's weird
the milk expired. He'd say,J\.h, that milk
turning into that person:'
don't know what day it is: That's how I
Ditto has been hands~on in the organiz~
feel about the tag on the fucking clothing.
Like, that dress doesn't know what size
ing of the event and the reception, but
; .•.
•...•.
•.•·.·_::.·.\.::tt····
,,~
I[
even for a rock star, putting together a
I am. It doesn't tell me what size I am, I
I CEO
tell it if I want it or not. I feel like, also,
wedding can be daunting. "Planning is
great and also stressful. It's just like you
being fat really forced my creativity and
MY CREATIVITYAND
my resourcefulness. I like a challenge.
see in the movies-when
you see the
MY RESOURCEFULNESS family and this person can't sit with that
Like, I see your size 12 and I accept your
I LIKEA CHALLENGE LIKE,
challenge:'
person, and that person has drama be~
cause so~and~so dated this person-it's
While Ditto's body image is a healthy
I SEE
one, it hasn't stopped her from having had
really like that. But I'll tell you that the
wedding ceremony, the party we're having,
a complicated relationship with her body
YOURCH~lE~GE,,
over the years. After all, it has endured
there's so many people I couldn't narrow
it down. It's the Southerners meet the
physical and sexual abuse, prejudice, self~
Hawaiians, let's just say that. She's from
mutilation, and severe illness-shortly
after moving to Portland, Ore., Ditto was diagnosed with sarcoi~ Hawaii and I'm from Arkansas. It's the locals meet the yokels, I'm
really excited:'
dosis, a disease that nearly left the singer blind, dea£ dumb and
And as for the ceremony itself? "We're writing vows. It's non~
with paralysis in her face and vocal cords, and she suffered a devas~
traditional but traditional. Because I like traditional, and I think
tating spell of depression that left her suicidal. In Coal to Diamonds
she describes the decision to check in to the hospital as: "That's
people are always really surprised by that. I like it pretty straight~
forward. The person who's officiating it is a princess, there's a lot
where you go when you're all grown up and you need a babysitter.
I needed a babysitter, badly:' However, her body is also something
of goddess~y elements, and I'm really excited about that. Maybe a
Ditto takes great pride in and loves, as it is the source of her voice, little witchy, because we're lesbians;' she laughs.
"[Kristin and I have] known each other since we were 18, so
of her being, and, as she puts it, "It's where my brain lives:' She's in
it's not like a brand new world, but I feel like I'm really excited
a much better place today, but when asked if she thinks about that
internal tug of war, she says, "All the time. Right now is a really
for the new chapter, to see what happens. Because so far life has
brought so much cool shit, I'm like, 'What the fuck is going to
interesting time because I just bought two wedding dresses- I hate
happen next?'"
to be that person who talks about their wedding all the time, but
While there is no way to know for sure what the future holds
it's consuming my life, so it's going to come up-but I just got two
wedding dresses because I'm not sure which one I want to wear. for Ditto, at the very least she is enjoying every minute of the pres~
ent. "You know, there are times when I'm like, 'Wow!' I say to my
Both are a size 20. And I'm trying to maintain a 20 and not gain or
lose, because those are expensive dresses and I'm not sure if they're
girlfriend all the time, 'We have such a blessed, privileged life, and
going to fit in four months. One of the symptoms of my disease is we're so fucking lucky to have what we have: I have a great house,
I have a great girlfriend, I have great friends, I have an amazing
really serious [weight] fluctuation. So I've been, for the first time
in my life, really conscious about what I'm putting in my body. And
job and an amazing family. I don't feel like a celebrity. It comes up
people are like, 'Oh, you' re going on the wedding diet: And I'm like, a lot in interviews, especially in places like Germany and France.
They'll be like, 'Oh, so you're a celebrity: It's just a completely dif~
'What? No!' Why can't a fat person watch what they're putting in
ferent world. I don't feel it because I come home to Portland and
their body without it immediately pertaining to getting smaller? I
no one gives a shit, and it's great! It's very humbling-to
be, like,
think it's really interesting. You can't experiment with what makes
at the nail salon and the ladies are talking to you and they're like,
you feel one way or the other without [people] immediately going
to body image. I don't think it's bad. I don't think it's a bad idea
'So what do you do again?' every single time I go in there. And it's
to not want to spend more money on a dress-especially when just keeping it real and keeping me in check, which is good for the
you've bought two of them already. But it's conflicting because it's old big head:' •
.,~;~n~Elli aEl
>-rREALLit
1l!-~7l/\NO
MAY 2013
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73
TRAVEL»
THE
REAL
EAT/
PRAY/
LOVE
We refer to our most anticipated travel destinations as places that make our bucket
list. But what if you were really given a death sentence? Where would you go?
Lesbian author Amy B. Scher discovered her own path to healing through travel.
As a debut author, I'm flattered when people ask me if
my book is like Eat, Pray, Love. Perhaps it's the colorful
narrative of my time in India, the spiritual nature of my
journey-or
simply the sacred cow on the back cover.
My initial reaction is that it is not similar at all. My
journey, in fact, was never intended to be a powerful
emotional and spiritual odyssey. It was a last-ditch
effort to save my 28-year-old life with an experimental
stem cell treatment at a tiny clinic in Delhi.
But I've realized that maybe there are some parallels
between my book, This Is How I Save My Life, and
Elizabeth Gilbert's incredible bestselling memoir about
her journey across Italy, India and Indonesia in search
of hersel£
THIS IS HOW I ATE
When I first heard about a possibly life-saving treatment
in India, I thought, Why oh why can't this be in China?
There was no food on Earth I disliked more than Indian
food. I worried that my already underweight body
would suffer. The strong smell, the taste and the texture
of curry were too much for a stomach battered by longterm antibiotic therapy. My first meals in the hospital,
saucy earth-toned globs all running together, made me
long for the fettuccine alfredo of home.
At some point in my trip though, something magical
happened. The smell that would regularly nauseate
me by permeating my hair and my clothes started to
become a comfort. Cravings for my favorite "green
chicken" became the norm, and I regularly delighted the
cook by requesting it. I started to embrace mutton and
ghee and all the things I had so valiantly resisted.
Two months after I arrived in Delhi for my first
round of stem cells, I was hooked on every spice and
sauce available. I left for home with a new favorite
74
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cuisine and an extra 20 pounds of healthy body weight
to show for it.
THIS IS HOW I PRAYED
During my first few days in India, my doctor sent a
colleague from another hospital to visit me. She arrived
with little or no explanation of who she was or what she
was doing. When I reread an excerpt from my book, it is
apparent that she's the guru I never knew I needed:
"She carriesa huge purse, has long silky thick hair and
wears typical, intricately-patternedIndian attire. Shefeels
closerto a presencethan a person. After 30 years of being
a physician and probably doing double that time living
her life, she strikes me as intellect and spirit wrapped in
a sari."
As she sat with me, she began speaking of her
Buddhist practice, Daimoku-chanting
specific words
that reveal one's state of inner Buddhahood. I took an
interest in Dr. M's practice and became her student. She
invited me to her home, and when we chanted I felt the
energy shift around me. Her gift became my own ritual,
a sort of meditative entry into my new life. I fell asleep
every single night staring at the bright blue wall in my
hospital room as my repetitive words faded away with
the day.
THIS IS HOW I LOVED
I stared across the physiotherapy room, with its yellow
curtains and much-too-loud music, and I saw her. I
didn't know why, or what was causing me to wonder
so intently what she was about, but I did. Charlotte, it
turned out, had come to visit her mother, Janet, who
was being treated at the hospital for amyotrophic lateral
sclerosis (ALS). ALS, often referred to as Lou Gehrig's
disease, for the famous American baseball player who
suffered from it, is a fatal disease involving the nerve
cells. Life expectancy is two to five years from the time
of diagnosis.
My meeting with Charlotte was one that was never
supposed to happen. My plane ticket home to California
was for three days earlier, but I had a bout of food
poisoning and wasn't able to fly. Charlotte arrived from
London before I could catch the next flight. We laughed
together almost nonstop for days, and silently wondered
what would become of our seemingly magical meeting.
We soon had to separate and spent the next several
months writing enough emails to fill books. Finally, we
decided to meet halfway between her city and mine-in
Boston. I asked her to marry me the first night. She said
no. We laughed some more and time moved on.
We racked up many travel miles just to be together
for a week or two at a time. Neither of us could move
because her mom's health was declining, as was my
father's in California. But we made it work. My dad
always told me, you know if someone is "the one" when
you feel like "it's you and me against the world, baby:'
And I did. Nothing could separate us, and the miles
only made our moments count for more.
Our love story continued, but not in the typical way.
We held hands over Janet's hospital bed as she took the
breaths of her last days. We then held my dad's ashes
in those same hands not long after. We've struggled
to overcome grief and understand the sometimes
unfairness of life. But, we have always remained
absorbed in the magic-the
feeling of that first day
in the physio room, the knowing we are meant to be
together, the deep laughter and joy we experience each
and every day-and
the absolute blessing of what we
commonly refer to as "the best love story ever:' Not
because it's always been easy, but simply because it's
ours. (howisavemylife.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
75
ABUNDANT
ANN ARBOR
Move over, Berkeley. This university town in Michigan is
becoming the capital of the locavore food movement.
BY JILLIAN EUGENIOS
The state of Michigan is shaped like a mitten, and one
thing Michiganders will do when they first meet is to
hold up one hand and point to where they are from.
(If you're from Ann Arbor, you are somewhere around
the thumb.) My favorite thing about this ritualstrangers almost high-fiving each other in a mitten
show-and-tell-is
that it confirms my assumption that
Midwesterners are the friendliest people around.
The residents of Ann Arbor have taken the Midwestern
values of community and hard work and applied them to
the dinner table. Here, whenever it's possible, good food
is picked from the garden or bought at a farmers' market,
then shared with friends. While Michigan may get a bad
rap for its laws against gay adoption and gay marriage,
the tides are shifting, and Ann Arbor is leading the way
toward inclusiveness by making sure everybody, no matter
who they love, has a seat at the table-and a full plate.
Spend a few days in Ann Arbor and you'll see that
it's just the sort of place where everyone has a CSA
membership, a couple of goats out back, or a friend who
specializes in artisanal pickles. It isn't difficult to be a
farm-to-table restaurant when the farms are down the
street, and most of the chefs in Ann Arbor's kitchens
have a personal relationship with their meat, produce
and dairy suppliers.
Chef Brandon Johns of Grange, a local restaurant, can
often be seen shopping for the evening's specials at the
76
CURVE
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local farmers' market. Or there's Alex Young, the chef
at Zingerman's Roadhouse, who also happens to hold
a James Beard Foundation Award and grows his own
vegetables. His garden boasts more than 40 varieties of
heirloom tomatoes, and his summer event, the Heirloom
Tomato Dinner, is famous among the locals.
The Roadhouse belongs to a group of restaurants
and foodie shops owned by the Zingerman's group, an
Ann Arbor institution. Zingerman's began as a deli in
the 1980s and has expanded to include a cafe, a bakery,
a creamery and the Roadhouse, which specializes in
barbecue and has a custom-built pit on the premises.
If your visit falls on a Wednesday or a Saturday, grab
your (reusable, recyclable) tote bag and walk over to
Kerrytown, a historic district that hosts the Ann Arbor
farmers' market. It's the perfect place to rub shoulders
with the locals and pick up artisanal products, homemade
candies and some of the best-looking produce in the
region. Zingerman's Deli is close by, making it easy to fill
out the menu for an impromptu picnic.
Just across the road from the farmers' market is Aut
Bar, the local gay bar that offers a pool table and a dance
floor, as well as a respectable food menu and theme
nights (gay rodeo night, anyone?). Aut Bar's neighbor
is Common Language, a gay bookstore carrying LGBT
books, queer-centric gifts and the magazine you're
holding in your hands.
When it's not time to eat or dance,
spend the day enjoying downtown
Ann Arbor, which is full of sidewalk
cafes, boutiques, and shops. I stopped
in at Hollander's Decorative Papers
& Bookbinding Supplies because I'm
nerdy like that, and I wanted to see
its 1,600 kinds of paper. I also took a
bookbinding class to impress all my
new Ann Arbor friends, who seem
to trade in selfsufficiency and DIY
abilities.
If hands~on activities aren't your
thing, you could stop by Spiral Tattoo
and meet with Leo Zulueta, known as
the father of modern tribal tattooing.
Bring it back (with the wallet chain)!
If you'd rather see art on the wall,
instead of etched on your body, visit the
River Gallery in downtown Chelsea,
which is a short drive from Ann Arbor
and specializes in Michigan artists.
Before packing up, make one last
stop at Zingerman's Creamery to pick
up local cheeses for the folks back
home. While you're there, take one
of the popular cheese~making classes.
And as you learn about how to handle
cheese curds, just try to convince
yourself that happiness isn't living on a
farm in Michigan, stretching your own
homemade mozzarella.•
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CURVE
79
TLOOKtSTARS
The Blush ofMay
Planets in sexy Taurus get our juices flowing.
BY CHARLENE LICHTENSTEIN
Aries (March 21-April 20)
TAURUS ~f§
f§
Sapphic Bulls are f§
f§
very comfortable f§
with their bodies and f§
dress to accessorize. f§
f§
They wear anything f§
well, even a burlap f§
sack, but tend to f§
f§
favor warm colored f§
garments that flatter f§
and accentuate their f§
f§
strong points These f§
gals tend to have f§
round faces and f§
f§
bull-like behaviors or f§
features Their nostrils f§
flare when they get f§
f§
angry They have also f§
been known to lounge f§
around the house f§
f§
looking like a lazy f§
Ferdinand smelling f§
the flowers However, f§
f§
as likable as Ferdinand f§
is, these gals are f§
by far my most f§
f§
favorite bulls f§
f§
f§
f§
f§
Charlene
Lichtenstein
istheauthorf§
f§
of HerScopes:
A Guide
to Astrologyf§
forLesbians
(Simon
& Schuster)-f§
f§
tinyur/.
com/HerScopes.
1/,
Nowavailable
asanebook.f§
Whisper words of love into her
ear and she will come running. Promise her the world
and set her heart on fire. But
words alone won't do the trick
this May, lambda Ram. All you
achieve is setting the stage for
your next big move. Keep talking but also backup your sweet
talk with something substantial.
(April 21-May 21)
80
CURVE
MAY 2013
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
You can make a grand entrance
this May. The fates place you in
the epicenter of power where
you press the flesh with more
than one powerbroker. What
will you do with all that wattage? Turn it on, let it shine and
create some heat. Push your
agenda forward, Sapphic Bull.
can catch in your net. Leos
love to be in the center of the
action. Just be sure that you
are a bit more strategic with
your attention and hobnob
with the social divas. The
summer is heating up and you
need to place yourself where
the bathing beauties roam.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
For those Vestal Virgos who
have quietly toiled in the
background waiting for their
moment to be recognized and
appreciated, this is your time
to shine. May brings accolades
and advancement to any ambitious effort. Consolidate your
power, prepare your strategy
and move full speed ahead.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
ship? If so, use the month to
make it stronger. Lavish her
with attention and adoration.
Are you on the hunt? If so,
use the month to expand your
usual territories. Join a new
organization, take up a new
hobby, check out a new hot
spot. Before you know it you
will be pretty hot yourself.
Geminis love to schmooze so
turn on your talent and use
your tongue wisely this May.
You can get who you want,
where you want. There is
intrigue going on behind the
scenes that you will be able to
infiltrate and defuse before any
harm is done. All barriers are
removed. So sugarcoat your
way to the top of the heap.
If you are feeling bored,
hemmed in and lazy this
May, energize your life with
new stimuli. Expand your
horizons by either travelling
or trying something totally
new and out of your comfort
zone. The world is calling,
Libra. Grab a girlfriend and
start exploring. If money is
tight, traveling with a group is
cheaper than traveling alone.
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Many a secret is revealed this
May so be prepared, Cancer. A
secret admirer makes herself
known. Her admission may be
especially surprising to youshe may even be one of your
best gal pals. Are you prepared
to make a move from the platonic to the passionate? Risks
are there. It could ruin a beautiful friendship or be the start of
something great.
Passionate and sexy Scorpios
are even more so this May.
There is something in the air
that makes almost every lady
a potential conquest. Is it your
flair? Is it your charm? Is it
your ability to delve deeply
into her eyes and tell her
everything she yearns to hear?
Whatever it is, pour it on, bottle
some of it and save a little for
the dry season.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Swan dive into the social pool,
swim around and see who you
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Connection is the key this May.
Are you currently in a relation-
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
Attend to any longstanding
jobs that have been cluttering
up your inbox. It is time to shift
them proudly to the outbox
and get on with your life.
Begin to prepare for swimsuit
season by taking a close look
at revitalizing your exercise
and diet regime. There may
be an opportunity for some
improvement. Of course, if you
are especially health-minded,
swimsuits will be optional.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
How creative can you get this
May? According to the stars,
very creative! Aqueerians find
that fun, flirtation and frolic
come to them easily. Your
challenge is how to harness all
these good vibes and gracious
ladies into something substantive, meaningful and lasting.
Where can it lead? Almost
anywhere you choose.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
If you have been grappling
with family issues, this is the
time to face and solve them.
Not only will you find the
right way to handle difficult
relatives, you do so diplomatically, effectively and in a way
that takes care of problems
permanently. Instead of living
life for others, live for yourself
and your own happiness. After
all, affirmation begins at home,
little Guppie.
See all items with this value
-
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A PERSONAL
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PLACES TO WORK
2013
for LGBT Equality
MAY
2013
FEATURES
36
PUTTING THE "T" IN LAUGHTER
Trans comic Ian Harvie spills the
secret on how to get through
life and come out laughing.
By Elizabeth Estochen
38
DANI GIRL
Step aside Justin Beiber, lezzie
look-alike Dani Shay has stepped
out of the pop star's shadow and
into the limelight. By Jenny Block
32
BEAUTIFUL BODIES
We shine a light on the
wonderful bodies that make
up our diverse community with
profiles of boundary defying
burlesque performers, body
activists and a transgender
beauty queen.
6~
PORTRAIT OF A TRANS MAN
Cliks singer Lucas Silveira
continues to evolve as an
artist, as a man and as a lover.
By Dave Steinfeld
68
SHE'S A RIOT
In Curve's first-ever interview
with the out superstar, Gossip
frontwoman Beth Ditto opens
up about her traumatic early life
in small-town Arkansas, finding
feminism and loving her body.
By Rachel Shatto
COVER PHOTO BY RANKIN
MAY
2013
CURVE
1
MAY
2013
14
IN EVERYISSUE
6
EDITOR'S NOTE
8
FEEDBACK
9
CURVETTES
10
THE GAYDAR
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////A
TRENDS
REVIEWS
11 THIS IS WHAT A
LESBIAN LOOKS LIKE
29
Musician Dineen Laurel.
12
GIFT GUIDE
Love your body with products
to pamper, please and tease
the skin you're in.
14
HOT TEE
FILM
Filmmaker Lauren Lubin
unbinds gender with a
personal journey of transition
in We Exist. By Kim Hoffman
33
Singer Martha Wainwright
proves you can go home
with her intimate new album.
16
LESBOFILE
By Dave Steinfeld
17
SHE SAID
35
MUSIC
TECH
VIEWS
Let the undead spice up your
humdrum exercise routine
with the Zombies, Run! app.
18
OUT IN FRONT
By Rachel Shatto
18
IN CASE YOU MISSED
POLITICS
In an increasingly genderqueer world, what does
gender even mean today?
By Victoria A. Brownworth
22
THE TWO OF US
Our monthly profile of
lesbian couples who live,
love and work together.
24
MAY 2013
31
graphic novel exploring
FTM sexuality.
19
CURVE
BOOKS
Kanithea Powell explores
female masculinity in her new
book Butch. By Kim Hoffman
15 HOT PICK
Transposes is an engaging
IT... News from across the
country.
2
10
LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
STYLE
44
ANIMAL MAGNETISM
A queer Melbourne designer
has a flair for fitting fuller
figures. By Merryn Johns
48 FROM RUSSIA
WITH LOVE
Rubin Singer's haute couture
is for everyone from curvy
divas like Beyonce and Queen
Latifah to real women like you.
By Merryn Johns
Curve's online selection of must-do, must-try, must-have extras.
LESBIANS
WHOTECH
TEA TIME WITH MICHELLE TEA
Curve caught up with San Francisco's literary
star, Michelle Tea, who has become a punk dyke
inspiration with honest and heartbreaking works
such as Valencia, Rent Girl and The Chelsea Whistle.
Founder of traveling queer poetry group, Sister
Spit, and artistic enabler RADAR Productions, Tea
discusses her upcoming young fantasy series, the
Valencia movie, writing Beth Ditto's memoir and
getting pregnant in the modern age.
HELL BENT
FOR LEATHER
Lesbian detective fiction got a
whole new twist (or should we
say kink) with The Killer Wore
Leather, a tongue-in-cheek
murder mystery set in the fetish
subculture. Written by lesbian
author and fetish specialist
Laura Antoniou, this fresh,
funny S&M thriller is an astutely
observed satire set in a world
we know oh-so-well.
4
CURVE
MAY 2013
QUEER QUEENS
OF COMEDY
The irrepressible Poppy Champlin is
gearing up for a silly Spring season of
mirth with shows through April and
May. From Nashville to Indianapolis to
New Jersey, Champlin and her funny
ladies Mimi Gonzales, Sapna Kumar,
Jessica Kirson, Merilyn Pittman and
Erin Foley tour their zany brand of
comedy all across the country. And it's
time to lighten up, ladies! Meet some
of Champlin's hand-picked comedic
talent and get ready to laugh out loud.
The next generation
of lesbian networking
has arrived! Lesbians
Who Tech is a new
monthly gathering of
women in the queer
community who
work in and around
tech, chatting over
drinks. Based in San
Francisco, LWT has
now branched out
into New York City
with more events to
be announced. Get
your geek on and
maybe meet the girl
of your dreams.
There's "natural" - and there's
natural
'' I believe in
treating
pets like
you d treat
yourself. ''
1
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V
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Holistic nutrition made with only
the best real food ingredients
Real meat. No chicken meal or
other rendered animal parts
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Animal advocate
Co-owner, HALO
All natural, easy to identify
whole food ingredients with
added vitamins and minerals
~------Join HaloPets
Available at PETCO, Whole Foods Market, Pet Food Express,
your neighborhood pet specialty and natural food store, and
online at halopets.com
__ u___,,
RONT IMERRYN'S
MEMO
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
Body of Work
MAY 2013
»
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
VOLUME
23 NUMBER
4
PUBLISHERSilke Bader
FOUNDINGPUBLISHERFrances Stevens
EDITORIAL
ince the dawn of time, a standard of female beauty (its form and
function), has been determined by every element of society, it seems,
but women themselves. Lesbian women in particular have a compli~
cared relationship with their bodies, for they are not 'Just" female:
they may embody other attributes that make their physical identity
hard for society to interpret: femme, butch, androgynous, queer, trans. And
then the topic of procreation opens up an additional Pandora's box!
I was 7 years of age when I realized I was a lesbian (although I did not
know the word), and this realization came to me through my tomboy body:
the way I felt when I looked at girls versus boys, the sense of elation and nau~
sea when I realized I was very different from my pint~size peers and the road
ahead would prove challenging for me.
The corporeal course of a lesbian life is complex: There is no road map
from menstruation to procreation, no model for identity and desirability. We
make it up as we go along, with help from our community. In this I find
a great source of pride and concern. Sometimes we're warriors, sometimes
we're victims.
So, it was very important to me
in compiling our first annual Body
issue that I celebrate the most mis~
understood members of the lesbian
community: plus~size women and
trans men.
In this issue, I have found so
many folks who, had they existed
earlier in my lesbian life, could have
made it easier, from the brilliant,
bold Beth Ditto to the insight~
ful and evolving Lucas Silveira.
Interesting side note: Both Ditto
and Silveira are engaged to women
who identify as lesbian, proving
that, as different as we may seem,
our identities overlap joyfully.
As I read the articles written by and about such fabulous folks, I realized
that whether you are a fat femme or a former lesbian who now identifies
as a guy, you and I have something in common-our
bodies, and what we
want from them versus what society expects from them. We all meet at the
same place on that elusive roadmap, and the only way forward is to love
our bodies, whatever they are. Size and sex are not the issue but, as in all
journeys, spirit is.
S
~·
MERZs
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
merryn@curvemag.com
6
CURVE
MAY 2013
EDITORIN CHIEF Merryn Johns
MANAGINGEDITOR Rachel Shatto
BOOKREVIEWEDITOR Rachel Pepper
COPYEDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Jillian Eugenics, Sheryl Kay, Jess McAvoy,
Stephanie Schroeder
EDITORIALASSISTANTSElizabeth Estochen, Rekara Gage,
Liz Nguyen, Molly Williams
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONSLaura McConnell
ADVERTISING
EASTCOASTSALES
Robin Perron (910) 795-0907, robin@curvemagazine.com
NATIONALSALES
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BUSINESSDEVELOPMENT
Sallyanne Monti {510) 545-4986, sallyanne@curvemag.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ARTDIRECTORStefanie Liang
PRODUCTIONARTIST Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Jenny Block, Adam L.
Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Traci
Dinwiddie, Maria De La 0, Jill Goldstein, Lisa Gunther,
Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall, Kim Hoffman, Charlene
Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Jess
McAvoy, Ariel Messman-Rucker, Emelina Minero, Laurie
K. Schenden, Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson,
Allison Steinberg, Stella & Lucy, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull,
Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce, Tina Vasquez, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Erica Beckman, Meagan Cignoli, JD
Disalvatore, Sophia Hantzes, Lara Hotz, Syd London,
Cheryl Mazak, Maggie Parker, Leslie Van Stelten
CONTACT INFO
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Volume 23 Issue 4 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published
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Fantasy Girls
Thank you for the excellent
and humorous interview with
Lauren and Bo ["Our Fantasy
Girls;'Vol. 23#3]. I am begin~
ning to think that you all at
Curve have the power to read
my mind. I was just thinking
the other month that I'd like
to hear from TV's hottest
lesbian couple, and there it
was, right in my inbox! Keep
it coming. -DJ. Clarke,
Newstead, N.J.
Looking Good
I want to commend you for
the wonderful redesign of the
magazine. For the three years
I have been a subscriber, the
design has always been a sore
spot. I was a graphic designer
for many years and every time
I would get a new Curve, I
would wince and think, "Come
on, lesbians, we can do better
than this:' Now, you have.
Bravo! -Elaine Benken,
Indianapolis, Ind.
Tantalizing Travel
Your Travel issue [Vol. 23#2]
is going to create a riot in
my house. We are constantly
debating where to go next and
your images have introduced
more wander~lusted~after
locales. Thanks for that!
-Morgan C., New York City.
You Sexy Thing
I like that Curve is getting
sexier. I would like to see even
more articles on sex advice and
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
HOW
DO
YOU
FEEL
ABOUT
3%
What body?
YOUR
BODY?
Curve magazine,
New York, NY 10034
WRITE
LISIPO Boxto:467,
Send
Email: letters@curvemagazine.com
Fax: 510.380.7487
Online: curvemag.com/letters
8
CURVE
MAY 2013
relationships because we can't
get this information anywhere
else and since I'm a newbie
to the lesbian dating scene
I need all the help I can get.
Especially on situations like
what to do if your partner is a
survivor of sexual abuse, how
to explore non~monogamy,
etc. -Paloma M. Estes,
New York City.
''
I am beginning
to think that you
all at Curve have
the power to
read my mind.
''
TheBigO
Thank you for your travel arti~
de on Orlando ["Outstanding
Orlando;' Vol. 23#3]. Yes, I
can recommend folks coming
here for vacation, as you men~
tioned in the article there are
plenty of things to do and see.
As a permanent resident I may
be biased but I also think it's
a great place to live for queer
people and naturally I'd love
to see even more lesbians here
at Phish Fest. -Paula Lopez,
Orlando, Fla.
CORRECTION
In "Dining at The Dalloway;'
[Vol. 23#3] the photo cap~
tion incorrectly identified
Kim Stolz and guests. It was
Amanda Leigh Dunn.
Subscriber Services are now available at
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Love Lost Girl. My fav TV
show. Bo is to die for.
-Lorraine Thurston
I'm gonna have to get
a subscription to this
magazine again.
- Jessica D. Work
I agree! - Jennifer Buba/a
Watching the show right
now:-) -Lyndsay Taber
I'm on S02E20 right
now ... already have
season 3 ready and
waiting for me to
watch ... I've stayed up
until 4am watching the
show! Loi -Tonya Mellon
Best cover in a long
time!!! -Kim Hartsfield
Best cover at all!
-Orix Pereira
Did u have to?
-Alicia PhillipsHamby
Doccubus
-Daniela D'Angelo
POST
OF
THE
MONTH
My girlfriend and
I get your mag
every month!
Thanksfor
doinga pieceon
RichmondVAactuallythe entire
travel issuewas
awesome... keep
up the great work
and thank
you again!!
-Bitsy Johnson
RACHELSHATTO
Managing editor Rachel Shatto
is a pop culture junkie with a
soft spot for horror and sci-fi
flicks, cheesy reality TV and
all things lesbian. She's an
avid gamer, cat fancier, a craft
maker and proud geek. She is
also co-host of the Zombie Grrlz
Podcast, a feminist take on
the horror genre. In this issue
Rachel had the opportunity to
interview one of her personal
idols, cover girl Beth Ditto
(page 68). "It's so much fun to
speak to someone you admire
and come away from it with
an even deeper appreciation
for them as a person. Beth
Ditto's determination to be
unapologetically who she is
makes her a powerful force for
women and queers."
ELIZABETH
ESTOCHEN
Curve's editorial assistant
Elizabeth Estochen lives in
San Francisco with her feline
sidekick, Nachos. Her passion
for writing helped her earn her
a degree in journalism from
the College of Charleston (she
minored in Italian studies, ciao
be/la!). She has contributed
to alt weekly The Charleston
City Paper and helped publish
a 500-page research novel,
In Search of Gentle Death. In
this issue, Elizabeth delves
into exploring and accepting
your body with trans comic
extraordinaire Ian Harvie on
page 36.
AMY B. SCHER
Amy B. Scher is an energy
therapy practitioner with
offices in Los Angeles and
Monterey, Calif. She is a
frequent contributor to
healthcare biogs and has
presented to groups including
the Department of Psychiatry
and Behavioral Sciences
at Stanford University. Her
memoir, This is How I Saved
My Life, traces her journey to a
clinic in India to treat her lifethreatening and misdiagnosed
disease. Read her story of
finding healing and true love on
page 74. (amybscher.com)
CHARLENE
LICHTENSTEIN
Super stargayzer Charlene
Lichtenstein amazingly predicts
our future every issue with her
Curve horoscope (page 80).
While her private celebrity
client list cannot be revealed,
she is the author of the bestselling astrology sun sign
book HerScopes: A Guide to
Astrology for Lesbians (now
available as an e-book). Her
horoscopes appear in LGBT
publications worldwide as well
as on her blog at thestarryeye.
typepad.com. She hosted a
real time astrology program on
the Washington Post website,
has astrologically advised on
GAYBC radio and has been
interviewed on radio stations in
Australia, New York and Ireland.
MAY 2013
CURVE
9
DS
Holy moly, it's a miracle.
Former Westboro Baptist
Church member Lauren Drain
poses for the NOH8 campaign
Former first lady Laura Bush asks
to have her pro-same-sex-marriage
clip removed from a marriage
equality ad. Of all the many, many
things the Bush's should recant, this
rare moment of clarity ain't one
The first out
lesbian UFC fighter,
Liz Carmouche, may
have lost her first bout
but we still think she's
a knockout
CURVE
MAY 2013
;::::
::,
0
C)
z
0
::5
2o
~
0
>-
~
::,
u
HONORARY
LIFFETIME
LESBIAN
MEMBERSHIP
_J
Get ready to cheat
on your usual
Wednesday night
TV show with
Mistresses, which
premieres this
month and stars
Jes Macallan as
Josslyn, a realtor
that falls for one
of her lesbian
clients. Hot!
"'
0
f(f)
~
~
2
<(
z
z
<(
Our fantasies
come true again!
Syfy's Lost Girl is
renewed for another
steamy season
of hot Doccubus
action
Holy matrimony, Batwoman!
That's right, the caped
crusader-ess proposed to her
girlfriend Maggie Sawyer
w
I
u
::,
0
~
<(
2
What's better than a
lesbian with tattoos?
Why a lesbian tattoo
shop employee of
course. Which is why
we are so stoked to
see Sassy of Black Ink
come out with a surprise visit from her ex
girlfriend on the show
10
Wonder where all the
dykes on bikes are in
Sons of Anarchy? In
prison apparently, as
series creator Kurt
Sutter confirms that
Tara is going to go
LURD (lesbian until
release date) in the
next season
0
The divine Cynthia
Nixon gets the
recognition she
deserves from Yale
University's Lesbian
Gay Bisexual
Transgender Alumni
Association with the
first-ever Artist for
Equality Award
We pick our jaws up off the floor
as prominent Republicans, led
by Jon Huntsman, sign a brief
in support same-sex marriage as
the case against Prop. 8 heads
to the Supreme Court and
proves that the arc of history
truly does bend toward justice
Ace of Cakes star Duff Goldman
gets a big ol' lesbro hug for
offering to make a lesbian
couple's wedding cake for free
after they were rejected by
their local bakery
u.J
Who said lesbians
aren't funny? The BBC's
Heading Out, about a
closeted veterinarian
forced by her friends to
come out, is just the dose
of witty, lezzie humor
you've been waiting for
~
i
!
"'
u.J
2:
~
Dineen Laurel
Out and proud Puerto Rican,
musical chameleon and full-time
student, 20-year-old Dineen Laurel is
singing to a generation of first-loves.
ON BECOMINGA MUSICIAN:When I was
about 4 years old, I remember loving the
way an electric guitar screamed, and the
scratching DJs used to do while spinning.
I especially loved watching the N.Y.C.
subway performers banging on drums and
I remember wanting to be a part of it all.
In the music industry as an independent
artist, I found myself taking on the roles
of writing, producing, editing, mixing,
recording and of course, promoting mYiself
and my music. I have a genuine love for
music, so I hate when it starts to feel like
a job with due dates. However, I do love
staying up late and grabbing my guitar,
and just having the ability to play whatever
sounds good to me ...lt's all about being
able to express myself whenever and
however I want.
ON THERELEASE
OF HERFIRSTALBUM:My
album Love is Love has been a diary for
me, as well as those who believe that love
has no gender. The basic story behind my
album is the typical teenage love affair,
with a twist. The song that really hits home
would be "The Secret." It explains how in
love I was with a girl who was in denial
about her sexuality. Although I never
actually got the chance to be with her,
our attempt to be together and to keep it
a secret was really what [the song] is all
about. I know way too many young people
who have been through this.
ON BEINGOUTIN THEMUSICINDUSTRY:
My family would rather me build my
reputation another way than "coming out,"
but I obviously didn't listen since it's my
foundation. I make music about my real
life situations, what I've been through, and
what others have been through. I'm proud
of who I am and of my sexual orientation;
I wouldn't want to hide that part of me
for any reason. I believe people should
be proud of who they are, and not hide
anything about themselves because being
unique is what makes an individual stand
out apart from the rest. -Kim Hoffman
MAY 2013
CURVE
11
NDStGIFT
GUIDE
Tart Up Your Tatas
Sapphic Scent
Can't commit to permanent ink? Consider these
temporary tattoos that last
up to seven days and can be
removed with rubbing alcohol
in less than 30 seconds.
Ta•ta•toos highlight your best
assets with naughty and nice
slogans sure to catch her eye.
($10, tatatoos.com)
This seductive love oil is
formulated specially for the
ladies who love ladies. Dab
some Pour Les Femmes on
before a date, mist your
bed sheets or add it to a
bath-pour deux. ($15,
hoodooroots.etsy.com)
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Bubblegum Bubbles
Give your inner child a sudsy treat with
Bungalow Bath and Body's sweet and
soothing whipped Pink Bubblegum Soap.
Almond oil and cheery multi-colored jojoba
beads leave skin smooth and moisturized.
($10, bungalowbathbody.etsy.com)
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Organic Indulgence
Pamper yourself head to toe
with Inventive Eco Organics
Moroccan Collection
gift set, which features
Moroccan Body and Hair
Wash, Seven Seas Sublime
Soak, Moroccan Body
Lotion and 02 Moroccan
Argan Oil hair serum. ($20,
inventiveecoorganic.com)
To keep those follicles fancy,
spoil them with Macadamia
Natural Oil Deep Repair
Masque. This revitalizing hair
salve utilizes macadamia,
argon, tea tree, and chamomile
oils, aloe and algae extracts to
reconstruct and nourish damaged hair. ($33, ulta.com)
Dare to Bare
Get your skin ready for summer
with emerginC Scientific
Organics grape stem cell, white
tea and seaweed body butter.
This 100 percent natural, 70
percent organic citrus scented
cream leaves you feeling soft
and nourished. Plus, for each
product sold, emerginC plants a
tree with Plant-It 2020.
($45, emerginc.com)
Friend of Dorothy
Need to unwind? Nothing beats a hot bubble bath except
maybe a bath with Lush's Relax...Take A Bath gift set featuring a
Golden Slumbers fizzing bath bomb, the massively moisturizing
Dreamtime bath melt and brilliantly bubbling Dorothy
bubble bar. ($22, lushusa.com)
LUSCIOUSPRODUCTSTO PAMPER,
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12
CURVE
MAY 2013
Forever Young
Reverse the clock
with this anti-aging
breakthrough Phyto
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Collin. Based on Nobel
Prize-winning dermo•
cosmetic research,
it's an outlay that will
return your investment
in 28 days, brightening,
smoothing and firming
the complexion,
and improving the
appearance of fine lines
and wrinkles. ($120,
gmcollin.com)
Treat Your Tootsies
When you're showing your
body love, don't forget your
feet! We suggest Karess
Krafters' Fancy Feet set
which comes complete with
their Spa Botanical Foot Soak
with sea salt and menthol,
pampering Foot Patrol soap
with cocoa butter, walnut
shell and pumice powders
and a moisturizing After
Hours Foot Cream.
($23, ccrafters.etsy.com)
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presents a line of FDA·
regulated homeopathic
remedies designed to
naturally alleviate pesky
health ailments from
sleeplessness to fatigue.
Just add a few squirts
under your tongue where
it is rapidly absorbed. Our
fave: Woman Power, which
increases female desire.
($30, sprayology.com)
Sugar Rush
Bath Time Treat
Spoil your skin with
Kismi Bella's luscious
Organic Lavender Mint
Coffee Scrub. Brown
sugar and fair-trade
shea butter leaves your
skin silky smooth while
the aroma of lavender,
mint and coffee awaken
the senses. ($12,
kismibella.etsy.com)
Vanilla frosting and
chocolate cake
fragrances mingle and
make your skin tingle in
this hand-made cupcakeinspired soap. Castor
oil and real cocoa
moisturize and heal skin,
leaving you smelling
sweet enough to eat.
($10, mojospa.etsy.com)
Beyond the Pale
Tan Secret's Instant
Tanning Foam gives
you a sun-kissed tan
in the convenience of
your own home. This
simple shower-on
product by Toni Brattin
will have you ready
to hit the beach after
only a few minutes.
($30, tansecret.com)
Amuse Yourself
Lifestyles' new women-designed
vibrator, a:muse, has three quiet
vibration intensities and five fun
pulsation patterns. But the most
amusing thing about this beginnerfriendly vibe is how accessib
is. Available in places like
the a:muse gives us a •
smooth material wit
friendly price and a
forgot to pack the ..." c
Better yet, this discr
ergonomic curves ar
enough to nest betwee
naughty bits and perfectly de
to fit in the palm of your hand
the crook of her...you get the idea.
(lifestyles.com)
MAY 2013
CURVE
13
NDS/
HOT PICKS
HOT TEE
OF THE MONTH
Hey there scissor sister, we've got just
the tee for you! Every foxy shirt is handstenciled and screen printed so it's as
unique as the lady lovin' lady inside it.
$19, supportlove.etsy.com
-·
Sweet Talk
Don't be afraid to flaunt your cupcake
cravings! Instead say 'yes' to a confectionery
that's both cute and useful with this sassy,
d rable and body positive iPhone case from
Vivitar. Find out how to win one of your very
own at curvemag.com/vivitar.
14
CURVE
MAY 2013
TRENDS/
Strike a Pose
An engaging graphic novel explores FTM sexuality.
BY SASSAFRAS LOWREY
0
ylan Edwards' Transposes, a non-
begins pre-transition, and watch as his
fiction graphic novel published
lesbian girlfriend lovingly encourages, and
by Northwest Press, brings to life
outright pushes her partner to work on
on the page the experiences of
their questions about gender. When Adam
seven transgender men who are exploring
does and comes out as male, she realizes
"gay, bisexual or otherwise non-straight"
she can no longer be romantically involved
sexualities.
with him, and the two split. In another
Transposes includes a thoughtful fore-
cis-man for a sexy hookup, later tests posi-
Alison Bechdel (Dykes to Watch Out For,
tive for an STI and grapples with having
Fun Home, Are You My Mother?), and
another "complicated thing to come out
covers new ground bringing readers into
about" to future sexual partners.
hopes, experiences and identities.
The characters Edwards depicts in
Anideal
book to give
to the 11ewly
out,queer
tra11stnan
i11your life.
story, Blake, a post-op trans man meets a
word by the esteemed lesbian cartoonist
the lives of these men and their anxieties,
HOT PIC
Edwards' clean black and white comic
style is very reminiscent of Bechdel's early
work and captivates readers around what
Transposes are drawn from interviews
can, to some, be uncomfortable themes.
he conducted with other FTMs, and their
The book depicts a wide array of sexual
stories have been enhanced for comic
experiences, from long-term committed
interpretation. Transposes helps give
monogamous couples, to the fun, nerves
readers an intimate understanding of what
and excitement of managing a one-time
it feels like to be learning sexuality over
hookup. An ideal book to give to the newly
again. We start with Adam, whose story
out, queer trans man in your life.
MAY 2013
CURVE
15
NDStGOSSIP
Russian Roulette
Jenni Farley, known more commonly as
JWoww ( or, rather, "the chick that's not
Snooki from jersey Shore"), has always been
open about her sexuality-but perhaps never
this out.
Describing her first lesbian experience
to Logo's That Sex Show, Farley gave quite
the Sapphic set-up: 21 years old, New York
City strip club, Russian stripper in the
boom boom room. But it turns out it wasn't
as sexy as it sounds (read: Saran Wrap as
a dental dam). So take heart, ladies: you're
not the only ones who had a less-than-ideal
first time.
Ladies Only
''All Hoes Everything" is your typical rap
song storyline: rapper has "hoes" in the
house, cooking breakfast and giving lap
dances. The curveball: It's Da Brat's new
song. You draw the conclusion.
Off-Court Pressure
Looks like there's heat on and off the court
for WNBA star Chamique Holdsclaw.
The former Sparks player has had a few
incidents last year involving ex-girlfriend
Jennifer Lacy (two words: ankle bracelet),
but this time around Holdsclaw has been
16
CURVE
MAY 2013
accused of bashing Lacy's car with a baseball bat and then firing a gun inside the
car while her ex was in the driver's seatall purportedly because she was pissed
that the two had broken up, according to
sources close to Lacy. With all the crimes
she's charged for, Holdsclaw could be spending up to 65 years behind bars.
We think this one wins the award for
Worst Break-Up Story Ever.
Never Say Never
You're never too old to swing both ways, as
70-plus Joan Rivers proves. The comedy
legend revealed her first lesbian experience
was with a woman introduced to her by
friends Lily Tomlin and Jane Lynch at a dinner party. However, it apparently was like
Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" and
"I don't know if I liked it, or if I
didn't like it;' Rivers says.
Different strokes for different folks-but we won't
hold it against the self-proclaimed Queen of Gays.
Would You Rather
Cowboy boots, tattoo sleeves,
girls with French bulldogswe all have discriminating taste
when it comes to lovers. And for Jillian
Michaels, some of this was revealed on
Bravo's Watch What Happens Live!
Playing a game of "which nerd would
you bang;' host Andy Cohen lobbed up
the quintessential pundit fantasy It Girl
Rachel Maddow. Surprisingly, Michaels
passed, saying she didn't like her "like that:'
But the fitness queen isn't turning
down everyone: former Secretary of State
Condeleezza Rice got a thumbs up.
Hey, no judgment.•
Joan Rivers
TRENDS/
"Oh, yes! I think there's a
whole underground culture of
women who cheat with other
women and get away with it. I
think they almost prefer that, in
a way, because they're getting
something different and
satisfied at the same time."
-Jackie Collins to The
Huffington Post
"I would like to play a
lesbian. I don't know why.
And do a whole makeout scene and the whole
thing; just something
completely different
than people would
expect from me.
Not a lipstick
lesbian either."
-Toni Braxton to
TheGrio
mt, "feminist
pejorativeterm. Howdi
t happen?If you'rea feminist,you're
basicallysayingyou'rea humanist.
That'swhythe issueof gay marriage
is so importantto me. It'sabout
everybodyhavingthe same
shotat everything,at work,
at marriage,at life."
-Golden Globewinner Julianne
Mooreto TheSunday flmes
SHEs
NDS/
PROFILE
Melanie Judge
SouthAfrica» LGBTRightsActivist
The Constitution of South Africa, Melanie Judge's
homeland, explicitly affirms the right to equality and
non-discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation
and gender, so you'd think life would be very comfortable for the lesbians who live there. Sadly, this is not
the reality. "The most enduring legacies of apartheid
and colonialism are violence and an intolerance of difference," says Judge. "Laws and regulations alone don't
end prejudice. They don't change how the [culture of]
sexual, economic and political [injustice] operates."
I ~~I!~~~~~i~!f~tl~~L~
r;!f
~ ~ ~ry
service members. These benefits will include the
right to visit their loved ones 1nmilitary hospitals
and to participate in family support groups on military bases. "It is a matter of fundamental equity
that we provide similar benefits to all of those men
and women in uniform who serve their country."
South Africa, Judge explains, has one of the highest
levels of violence against women in the world. In such
a patriarchal society, sexual violence is used routinely
to control women's bodies and lives. Lesbians, in
particular, are targeted when they don't conform
to feminine stereotypes. Lesbians also encounter
prejudice when they turn to the police and the courts,
seeking justice. Therefore, Judge says, the task at
hand is to transform human relations, to expand the
THE
VIRGINIA
STATE
SENATE community
passed SB701,a bill that 1fenacted
will grant LGBTresidents of the
state protection against discr1m1natIon In the workplace. The bill
Is being led by Adam Ebb1n,
V1rg1nia's
first openly gay state
senator, and will now move on to
the more conservative House
freedom of choice to be different, which is the life-
AYMCA
INTYLER,
TEXAS,
blood of any democracy.
For the past 13 years, Judge has been leading that
revolution at home and overseas, working on law and
policy reform, and training and research initiatives in
the fields of HIV/AIDS. She is a former senior staffer at
two leading LGBT organizations (OUT LGBT Well-being
and the Lesbian and Gay Equality Project), and currently works with several nonprofit organizations and
donors, focusing on advocacy, strategic communications, and research to advance the cause of social
justice in South Africa.
In order to successfully expand lesbian rights, Judge
says three things must happen. First, the LGBT community must hold elected officials accountable, lending
support to those who vote with gay rights in mind.
Additionally, lesbians need to keep dismantling the tranormal form of sexuality. But mostly, the fight is about
changing the culture. "We create culture ourselves,"
says Judge. "It's not fixed. And so culture can be used
to embrace or to attack sexual difference. We all have
the power to say 'not in my name.'" -Sheryl Kay
CURVE
MAY 2013
BROOK
JOHNSON.A
TEACHER
In Flint, Mich, has filed a suit In
federal court against the Corunna
refused to offer a family memPublic Schools for allegedly
bership to a lesbian couple
v1olat1ngher First Amendment
unless they could produce a
rights Johnson claims that she
marriage cert1f1cate,despite the
got negative evaluations from
fact that Suzy Sheridan, her wife
district off1c1alsafter she became
and their son had had such a
involved with the school's diversity
membership 10 years ago, when
group, which put up a Gay Pridethe boy was on the club's swim
themed display for LGBTHistory
team The couple took their
Month In 2009, when Johnson
case to the Internet, creating a
was the club's advisor, the school
petItIon on Change org The
board voted to remove the
petItIon received 8,000 signaposter from a school showcase,
tures, and the YMCA adJusted
claiming It went against comits policy to be more 1nclus1ve,
munity values That dec1s1onwas
offering the couple a "houselater reversed when the ACLU
hold" membership
became involved But In 2011,
when Johnson's contract with
DIANA
MEDLEY
AND
ASPECIAL
ditional paradigm that says heterosexuality is the only
18
are attempting to
organize what they are calling
a "trad1t1onalprom," which will
proh1b1tLGBTstudents from
attending When asked 1fshe
thinks gays have a purpose In
life, Medley said, "No, I honestly
don't Sorry, but I don't"
» FORANOTHER
OUT
INFRONT
PROFILE
GOTOCURVEMAG.COM
curve
The Gender Trap
Imagining a world beyond boys and girls.
BY VICTORIA
A. BROWNWORTH
W
hat is gender:' Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (11th edition)
defines gender as "the behavioral, cultural or psychological traits typically
associated with one sex:' The World Health Organization (WHO)
defines gender as "the socially constructed roles, behavior, activities and
attributes that a particular society considers appropriate for men and women:'
WHO emphasizes that the 'a.istinct roles and behavior [of gender] may give rise to inequalities, i.e., differences between men and women that systematically favor one group;' and
notes, "Both gender differences and gender inequalities can give rise to inequities between
men and women in health status and access to health care:'
Most of us also think of our gender as defined by the genitalia and physical characteristics attributed to our sex-breasts, vaginas, penises.
But if both the dictionary and the largest health organization in the world define
gender as a social and psychological construct, then isn't gender fluid, regardless of
genitalia:' Doesn't gender mean what we
choose it to mean:'
Writing about or even talking about gender seems to invite controversy. Everyone
feels they have a proprietary interest in
what is and what is not male and female.
Terms like "born-woman'' and "cisgendered"
only serve to fuel more passionate debate
about what is, in fact, a social and cultural
construct. But even going that far will get
you called names in various quarters.
Why is gender so inflammatory:' Because
global society-run
overwhelmingly by
men-has an investment in keeping people
in their gender-specific place. As WHO
suggests, with men in power, women remain
powerless. And when women have as little
power as they do throughout the world,
their lives are at risk. (This is as true for
transgender women as it is for cis-women,
I might add, as the rate of murder among
MTF transsexuals is disturbingly high.)
I've always struggled with gender identity. As a child, I insisted on being called
by a male nickname, shifting to a gendernonspecific one in high school. In grade
school, I definitely had gender dysphoria
issues, which were exacerbated by my height
(I was the tallest girl in my class) and by my
"tomboy" traits. In the fifth grade, I went to
a Halloween party as a football player and
was caught kissing another girl dressed as a
nurse when we played a game of hide-andseek. Because we were kids, nothing was
made of it, but I still remember that incident vividly as a turning point in my gender
identity and sexual orientation.
When I came out as a lesbian, in the ninth
grade, the "male" feelings that had simmered
for years became more intense. Eight years
at a Catholic girls' school had dramatically
skewed my perspective on gender. Was I a
boy or a girl:' I certainly didn't want to be
a girl, nor did I feel like what I thought a
girl was. But my early experiences, being
MAY 2013
CURVE
19
st
POLITICS
a teenager in gay bars and being expelled
from my all-girls high school for lesbianism,
only added to my internal conflicts.
When I was expelled, my parents were
upset. My father asserted, "But you're pretty.
And boys like you:' My mother's view,
though opposite, was equally simplistic:
"When you were a baby, people always
thought you were a boy. I'm not surprised:'
A year later, after a suicide attempt, I was
admitted to the local psychiatric hospital
for adolescents. Twelve years ago, I was the
subject of a short film on my gender dysphoria. A student of mine at the art college
where I teach thought revealing my complex feelings on gender would be useful to
others who were struggling with the same
issues. The film read as ritualized cognitive
dissonance: In high-femme drag, I sat with
an array of dildos in front of me while I
talked about my desire for a penis, and how
it always felt like something was lacking.
It was a painful experience that I wish
I hadn't shared. But silence accomplishes
nothing. I've interviewed many trans gender people over the years, including the
activists Renee Richards, Kate Bornstein
and Leslie Feinberg. Last year, I did a series
on Barbra Casbar Siperstein, the first
transgender member of the Democratic
National Committee. Siperstein transitioned in her 50s, while maintaining her
longtime marriage to a woman and trying
to explain her new identity to her children
and grandchildren.
Last December, I was approached by a
surgeon who wanted me to do a series on
one of his patients as she transitioned from
male to female. Like Siperstein, this woman
was in her 50s and had been a "man's man''
before making the decision to have sex reassignment surgery. The surgeon and patient
wanted me to witness the surgeries and
do interviews before and after each of
them. But as the day of the first surgery
approached-the
facial shaping (bones in
the jaw and forehead are shaved down to
achieve a more feminine look) and breast
augmentation-the patient decided that the
scrutiny was really too much to handle.
My most heart-breaking assignment
was a series I did in 2009 on the underground world of transgender youth. I was
approached by a young pre-op MTF, who
20
CURVE
MAY 2013
asked me to do a story on her and her
friends. I spoke to my editor, then arranged
to attend a pumping party, not knowing
exactly what that was.
A dozen youths, almost all of them either
African American or Latino, were there.
Everyone was under 25 and some were
under 18. One of the oldest in attendance
was doing silicone injections. Everyone
had been told I was there to tell their
story. They showed me budding breasts
and enlarged clitorises, proud of their
transitions-in-progress.
''
So if the language
we use and the
polemic we invoke
are still evolving, as
our gender evolves,
maybe we need to
take a less volatile
tone with each
other as we traverse
this new terrain.
''
I was horrified. I wanted to call the police
or social services or someone, but I had
been invited, and I had made promises of
anonymity.
Why was I horrified? Because even under
the scrutiny and care of a top-level endocrinologist and surgeon, these are complex
hormonal modifications to make on a body.
A 17-year-old FTM taking steroids bought
online, or a 19-year-old MTF taking bootleg birth control pills, could end up with
liver damage, a stroke, cancer-or
dead.
And the illegal silicone? Even the real stuff
can cause irreversible damage.
All this is happening-the
DIY sex
changes, the late-in-life sex changesbecause we can't think past a binary concept of gender. But if you listen to the
photographer and actor iO Tiller Wright
(check out selfevidentproject.com, as well
as her TV interview with Jeff Probst), who
spent the years from 6 to 14 living as a boy,
you will learn that gender can be fluid. It
doesn't have to be one or the other. The
increasing number of transgender people,
particularly those under 30, who decide not
to have bottom surgeries underscores this
reality; many transgender women and men
are still very clear on how they identify in
terms of their gender, regardless of the final
surgery. They can be female with a penis,
male without one.
And then there's this: According to the
Centers for Disease Control (CDC), one
in every 2,000 babies is born with genitalia
that cannot be defined as male or female.
Activists have prevailed on doctors to stop
choosing their gender at birth, because
these children don't always identify with
the gender that's been chosen for them.
Which leads us back to that fluidity. Is iO
Tiller Wright male or female? Or was she
male and now she's female? Is it possible that
Wright is the only person who has ever been
female, male, and female again? She can't be.
Perhaps our binary concept of gender
is like our binary concept of sexual orientation-limited.
Perhaps gender is, like so
much else about us, continually evolving.
And so, for some individuals, their gender
is evolving throughout their lifetime, like
Wright or Siperstein or Chaz Bono.
Think about how many babies are born
without a distinct gender. And how many
children look like a girl or a boy but come to
feel that they are the opposite later in their
lives-at 6 or 16 or even 60. Do we deny all
those individuals their gender evolution?
I think gender can be fluid precisely
because it is a societal construct. But even
so, being raised male or female defines how
we act in the world. Those raised male
will have a sense of entitlement that those
raised female can't imagine or appropriate. We must respect these nuances as
we move between genders. Those societal
gender constructs define us before we are
old enough to speak. So if the language
we use and the polemic we invoke are still
evolving, as our gender evolves, maybe we
need to take a less volatile tone with each
other as we traverse this new terrain. To do
otherwise just reinforces the binary gender
distinctions that have oppressed womenborn and evolved-for millennia.•
st TWO OF US
Sean and Shawna
Trans performers Sean Dorsey and Shawna Virago have found love outside the binary.
BY MICHELE FISHER
S
ean Dorsey and Shawna Virago are
a transgender power couple. Dorsey
is the founder and artistic director of Fresh Meat Productions,
the first organization to create and present year-round transgender arts programs.
He is also the nation's first out transgender,
modern dance choreographer-his
dance
company Sean Dorsey Dance has received
major national commissions and awards
and this summer, continues its 20-city
tour of The Secret History Of Love across
the U.S. This dance theater work reveals the underground ways that LGBT
people managed to survive and love each
other in decades past. Dorsey created the
show by extracting and adapting real-life
queer treasures from archival materials
such as love letters and journals as well as
interviews he conducted with gay elders.
Virago is the musical guest star of the show.
A singer, songwriter, filmmaker, writer and
activist, she is a longtime favorite in San
Francisco's transgender and queer music
scene, the director of the San Francisco
Transgender Film Festival, and a filmmaker whose films (including Transsexual
Dominatrix and Hustle) have been screened
in more than a dozen countries. Virago is
also working on a new album, tentatively
titled Devil's Daughter, which she will promote by touring.
Dorsey and Virago share their story of
finding true love as gender outlaws.
How long have you known each other?
We met at an event called Trans
Art 2001, and reconnected a few months
later at Tranny Fest 200 L Tranny Fest was
the world's first transgender film festival,
and organized by our friends Christopher
Lee and Alex Austin. Sean saw me perform
and got my digits and we've been hanging
out ever since.
VIRAGO:
''
It's amazing to share
your journey with
someone who shares
your artistic, political,
spiritual path.
''
DORSEY: We celebrated our 11th anniversary last year! I first saw Shawna onstage at
Trans Art 2001, and was like, Who is that?
She was a force of nature-pure
brilliance
and beauty. I approached her in a rather
nerdy fashion and we eventually started
emailing, then [talking on the phone] and
then dating!
When did you fall in love?
Really fast when I saw this tall
handsome Canadian lad. Our first date also
was how shall we say it, a sleepover?
VIRAGO:
We fell fast and hard. Shawna is
so ridiculously gorgeous and brilliant and
soulful and talented-it's amazing to share
your journey with someone who shares
your artistic, political, spiritual path.
Sean, you have been out as trans for
many years but only five years ago
decided to take hormones. Can you tell
me about that decision?
DORSEY: There are lots of ways of being
transgender, and I was out as transgender
for over 15 years, and had top surgery, but
had no interest in taking hormones. That
was right for me then, and then things
shifted and I knew I wanted to align my
body better with my spirit. It was a beauti~
ful decision.
Do you like your body?
VIRAGO: I like Sean's body lots.
DORSEY: The feeling is mutual, Ms. Virago!
DORSEY:
- rHesH,mear
tResH,mear
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I' R O I) l
PRoou
C T I O ,
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,
,
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U
Every person alive has a complicated rela~
tionship with their body-it's important for
us to work every day on loving our bodies.
Has life for you become easier over the
years?
VIRAGO: I think because I'm perceived when
I'm out in the world, buying groceries or
taking the bus, to be a member of the gen~
der binary, that my life is easier now than
when I was an androgynous youth. It's still
not easy being transgender, but the world
is much harder on anyone that people can't
categorize instantly as male or female. My
butch friends know this. The gender binary
FBtsH,n
I' RO O
c1,
might be a social construct but the impact
of power and oppression on people outside
the binary is still too painfully real.
DORSEY: I feel so, so blessed to be trans~
gender. And blessed to be alive at this time
in history-when
I can live amongst other
transgender artists and leaders and rule~
breakers. Things were much more difficult
for my transgender foremothers and forefa~
thers, even 15 years ago.
Does it surprise either one of you that
you ended up in a relationship with
another trans person?
VIRAGO: I am attracted to people on the
masculine spectrum, whether they identify
as transgender or not, but I am surprised
I'm in a relationship with a sexy, brilliant
and sane person. Pinch me, I'm dreaming.
DORSEY: It doesn't surprise me-I think it's
the most natural thing in the world. We get
each other's trans experience, bodies and
selves very deeply. I highly recommend it!
Trans guys out there, listen up! (seandorsey~
dance.com, shawnavirago.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
23
st
LIPSTICK+DI
PSTICK
Lezzie911
and keeping you from moving
the real question you need the
forward. It's time to let this sofa
answer to right now.
Relationship trouble? Advice superheroes
Lip & Dip to the rescue! ev uPsT1cK & 01PsT1cK
partner who's holding a winning
Lipstick:: I disagree, Dipstick.
hand.
As you know, I'm quite the
spud go and start looking for a
romantic, so I definitely believe
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: My girlfriend
and I have been together for seven yea rs.
I busted my butt to get through college,
then found an amazing job and bought
my own home. I've been paying all of our
bills for the last three years, and she just
recently started working part-time at a
pizza shop. She says she's just not cut
out for school. On top of working and
paying the bills, I clean the house and
take care of our four animals. I think I am
ready to start a family, but how can I raise
children when I am living with one? I do
love her but she sits on the couch talking
on her phone constantly. Recently, I asked
her to contribute $500 a month to the
household and she freaked out, saying
she wouldn't have any money left for her!
Do I stick this out or give up?
-Seven-Year Itch
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
not allowing
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
in true love, the kind that coats
About 15 years ago, I had my
your skin like tree sap-no
first experience with a woman.
matter what you do, noth-
Elizabeth was 20 years older
ing can wash it off, not even
than me, and it wasn't the best
another love affair. In fact, I
time, but you never forget
believe in that kind of love so
your first, right? I've moved
much, I wrote a novel about it.
away, but we've stayed friends.
The plot of Jukebox [available
Now, I'm in a shaky long-term
from Bella Books] mirrors your
relationship with a man. The
current situation, Still Crushed.
problem is, I still fantasize
The burning question: Are you
about Elizabeth and it has
willing to risk rejection on the
affected all my relationships.
chance that Elizabeth still feels
Is it possible this woman could
the same way you do? I say,
be my true love?-Sti// Crushed
Hell yes, because life is short
and there's no time for second
Dipstick: It's easy to reminisce
guesses.
about the butterflies you got
from this long-ago affair-the
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
lingering hugs, the sensuous
My partner and I have been
backrubs, the passionate sex-
together for six years and my
when things aren't going well
vibrator is my most frequent
in your current relationship.
lover. This is my first relation-
Every time your current partner
ship ever. In the beginning,
forgets to pick up the milk, you
we had sex a lot. Sometimes
remember the way Elizabeth
all weekend or multiple times
used to show up unannounced
in a day. My partner states
at your work, and how you'd
that I've given her the best
sneak into the parking lot to
orgasms of her lifetime, in-
make out in her car. Every time
cluding her own self-pleasure.
your partner says something
We were adventurous, eating
insensitive, you remember how
whipped cream drizzled with
Elizabeth used to cook you hue-
chocolate off each other's
Lipstick: Call 911,Dip! We've
litter box-you're
got a serious emergency here!
her the opportunity to step up
vos rancheros after a morning
bodies as foreplay, but for
Seven-Year Itch needs to pull
and prove she's a capable adult.
of love in her feather-top bed.
the last three years I have
Every time your current partner
been lucky to make love to
before Lazy Bones sucks all the
Lipstick: Kenny Rogers once
comes home late without call-
her four times a year. I have
life out of her.
sang, "You've got to know when
ing, you remember the time you
asked her about making sex
dates and she won't. I have
the plug on this relationship
to hold 'em, know when to fold
and Elizabeth drove all night to
Dipstick: And all the money
'em, know when to walk away,
San Francisco, arriving just in
purchased sex games, toys,
out of her bank account!
know when to run." Guess
time to watch the sun rise over
sexy nighties, perfume with
Seven-Year Itch, I'm developing
which one you should do! Do
the Golden Gate Bridge. Living
pheromones and more. Every
hives just thinking about your
you think she's really going to
in the past is only keeping
time I attempt to be intimate I
situation. You say you love this
kick in her fair share, or change
you from facing your current
am turned down. Sometimes,
child, but what you're doing is
at all, when she's faced with the
situation. Take Elizabeth out of
she even becomes angry
enabling her. By taking care of
responsibilities of parenthood?
the equation and ask yourself if
when I ask her for sex. She
everything-
Nope. I know you love her,
your current relationship is one
has a poor body image, but
but she's bringing you down
you want to be in or not. This is
we are both plus size. She was
from the house-
hold chores to the bills to the
24
CURVE
MAY 2013
molested as a child but so was
I. I don't understand how we
had amazing, bountiful sex
the first year and a half of our
relationship and now we have
nothing. On all other fronts
we share a great connection.
But must I be resigned to having a vibrator for a lover? Is
there anything else I can do?
Financially, we are members
of the working poor and cannot afford therapy.-Sexua//y
Frustrated in Fresno
''
You've got to
know when
to hold 'em,
know when to
fold 'em, know
when to walk
away, know
when to run.
''
Lipstick and I hear from many
women in your situation, and
there are no quick and easy
answers. Although you had
a good sexual relationship
for a year and a half, she's
had a lifetime of abuse and a
poor self-image. That's a lot
to overcome without outside
help. Look around for free
resources in your community.
Unfortunately, there's no easy
solution to be revealed here,
though it may be hidden under
many layers, which need to
be peeled back carefully. Like
Dipstick, my concern is that
you might not be able to work
through these issues without
professional help. As the butch
suggested, your focus should
be on counseling-finding
Often, colleges with counseling programs offer low-cost
inexpensive or pro bono help
will be the key. California State
therapy as a way to train their
students. Go to the library and
University, Fresno has a social
work program; call or go online
check out books for survivors
to see if they can point you in a
helpful direction. In the mean-
Dipstick: I don't think you're
the only one frustrated, darlin'.
please you and make you happy, but at the same time she
There's a lot going on here, not
the least of which is that your
wants to avoid being sexual
with you. Things started off hot
partner got angry when you
even asked her about sex. I'm
and heavy, so I can understand
your confusion now. Sex does
attending to. Cancel cable TV
for a few months, if that's what
it takes to afford a therapist.
guessing the root of her anger
is fear, and a different kind
usually cool down after a few
years, but it shouldn't stop
Lipstick: Ouch, Frustrated,
faith that your love will prevail
and you will come out of this
of frustration. She wants to
all together. Unfortunately,
my heart hurts for you.
stronger than ever. •
of childhood sexual abuse. This
is a serious issue that needs
time, visualize the two of you
reconnecting, and try to stay
positive. Half the battle here
is in the mind, so try to have
MAY 2013
CURVE
25
Riots Not Diets
Hanne Blank wants you to move, just for the love of it.
T
he gym can be a scary place
under the best of circumstances.
Add to that being fat~bodied
and it can be downright inhu~
mane. But it doesn't have to be. In fact, it
shouldn't be, because we all have the same
right to participate in our own body
practice-just
ask author, fat activist, and
exercise enthusiast Hanne Blank.
In her latest book, The Unapologetic Fat
Girl's Guide to Exercise and Other Incendiary
Acts, Blank makes one thing perfectly clear.
There is no wrong way to have a body, and
nothing and no one should stop you from
enjoying it. One of the best ways you can
do that is through movement: "Exercise
gives your body to you. It blows the dust
off and gives it a little shine, and it hands it
over with a weird little curtsey that makes
you understand, maybe for the first time,
26
CURVE
MAY 2013
ev RACHEL sHATTo
that this body is yours, is actually kind of
wonderful, maybe even miraculous:'
With The Unapologetic Fat Girl's Guide to
Exercise, Blank has crafted a funny, inspiring,
and powerful message that contains practi~
cal guidance and body~aflirming ideas. It's
part manifesto, part armchair therapist, and
part everything you always wanted to know
but were afraid to ask-style advice, and
will have you up and moving for the simple
pleasure of it in no time.
What inspired the book?
I have a bad habit of going to the library
and the bookstore looking for the book I
want to read, or the book I wish I had as
a resource, and not finding it. This is the
point where I usually end up throwing up
my hands and saying, "I guess I'm going to
have to write it myself, then:' That's basi~
cally what happened with this book, too.
I wanted a book that spoke to my needs
and concerns, as a fat woman who exer~
cises and enjoys it and benefits from it. I
didn't need a book that told me how to
exercise-there
are a billion books out
there that will tell you that. But there were
no books that talked about dealing with
locker~room freak~outs, or weight limits
on exercise machines, or the psychological
side of exercising when you're fat, or deal~
ing with other people's reactions to you
exercising as a fattie-or
even practical
things like what to do about chub rub, and
where the hell do you find sports bras that
fit you if you're a 56J.
These are all legitimate things and infor~
mation that people need to help improve
their quality oflife. They're things I wanted
to know about when I started to exercise,
and things that I, and other fat exercisers I
know, had to figure out the hard way. The
hard way is a pain in the ass, though, and
there are enough other obstacles to exercising happily as a fat person-so that having
to do it all the hard way, with no resources
or affirmation, is really enough to keep a
lot of people from doing it at all. That's a
shame, and totally unnecessary.
Why is exercise for fat women an incendiary act?
Moving your body for your own reasons,
taking pleasure in moving your body,
is incendiary for fat women because fat
women's bodies aren't seen as deserving of
that care, that attention, or that freedom
to move and take up space in the world.
Asserting your right to move, to sweat, to
occupy space, to move through space, to
challenge yourself physically, to improve
your relationship with your body-these
are all things that fat women are overtly
and covertly told are "not for them:' I call
"bullshit" on that.
Why do you prefer the term
"body practice" to "fitness
regime" or even "exercise
program"?
Exercise and fitness have a lot
of negative implications for
a lot of fat people. For starters, there's the presumption
that "fitness" is a size and a
body-fat percentage, not a
state of physical capacity and
stamina.
There's the presumption
that "exercise" is nothing more
than a mechanism for inducing weight loss and making
bodies look certain ways.
That puts a lot of seriously
unrealistic pressure on the
person doing the physical
movement. I prefer the idea
of "practice": something you
do on a regular basis, with an
eye toward competence and
improvement, but that does
not have arbitrary goals. Like
a religious practice or a meditative practice or practicing
music, the practice itself is
really the point.
Why do you feel it's impor-
tant to pursue movement simply for
your own pleasure?
Because you can. Because there's no good
reason to let anyone take that elemental
pleasure away from you. On a fundamental,
radical level, your body is the only thing
you have that is really under your control.
Why give away your pleasure? Why give
away your autonomy? Take it back. And
Exercise gives
your body to you.
It blows the dust
off and gives it a
little shine.
''
then move [your body] like you stole it,
because in a very real way you did.
How has the response been? Any particular passage or part that readers
have responded to?
I've found that people really respond to the
message that moving your body doesn't have
to be punitive, it doesn't have to hurt, and
that it's actually OK to do things that are
fun. People seem to really appreciate being
reminded that your body doesn't know the
difference, or care, that you're moving it
while you do something that delights you
[or] performing the same motions at a gym
on some exercise machine.
What do you hope queer and genderqueer readers get from the book?
I love this question. I especially hope that
LGBT readers will pick up this book, because an awful lot of issues about alienation
from the body and weirdness in fitting
into mainstream cultural spaces can crop
up for members of the queer community,
too. The experiences that
fat people have with these
things aren't necessarily the
same as the experiences that
LGBT people have, but the
underlying dynamics are
often very similar, because
they all tend to center
around the experience of
body-based prejudice and
being told that there are
things about you and the
way you are embodied that
are wrong and unworthy. As
a result, some of the same
coping strategies can help.
How do we end fat bias?
The same way we keep moving toward eliminating any
other kind of body-based
bias. We call it out when we
see it, we talk about why it's
wrong, we try to reduce the
harm that gets done, and we
work on acting like we live
in a world where there is no
wrong way to have a body
and where being human
actually does get you your
fair share of human dignity.
(hanneblank.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
27
Weighty Matters
Meet Dr. Linda Bacon, the lesbian PhD changing the way
we think about health. BY MOLLY w1LL1AMs
I
n Dr. Linda Bacon's controversial,
eye~opening book Health At Every
Size: The Surprising Truth About
Your Weight, Bacon takes conven~
tional wisdom about the relationship with
weight and health to task, drawing a line
between legitimate health indicators and a
number on the scale.
Bacon's fascination with health and weight
began with her own. Like so many women
she spent a significant part of her life strug~
gling with her weight and body image. In an
effort to greater understand weight regu~
lation, she pursued a master's degree in
psychotherapy with an emphasis on eating
disorders and body image. She went on to
earn a master's in exercise science and she
completed a doctorate in physiology. It was
through these studies that she uncovered
the disparity between actual weight regula~
tion behaviors and those being espoused
by so~called"experts:' It was this breakdown
that lead Bacon to formulate the philosophy
behind HAES (Health At Every Size).
HAES, in short, is a shift in priorities.
Rather than diet and exercise with weight
loss as the end goal, HAES focuses on intu~
itive eating and pleasurable physical activity,
with a goal of improving overall health (for
28
CURVE
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example, blood pressure, cholesterol and
depression). To test her theory Bacon con~
ducted a study of 70 women with a BMI
greater than 30. Half were put on a stan~
dard restrictive diet, and half were given the
HAES model. Six months later the HAES
group had far better health outcomes than
the dieting group.
So why in the face of these discoveries are
mainstream ideas about weight and health
not upended? Bacon shares her expert opin~
ion on why and who is keeping these myths
alive, and what believing them costs us.
What affect do current societal norms
have on women's bodies?
There are a lot of mixed messages about
weight and health. On one hand, more
people are speaking up against extreme
diets that encourage rapid weight loss
through tortuous deprivation. There's also
a bit more representation of diverse body
types in advertising than there was maybe
10 years ago. But, as you mention, there
still is the dominant societal belief that
weight loss is universally"healthy;' possible
and desirable for everyone.
Michelle Obama's Let's Move campaign
is an example of what I'm talking about.
The program encourages kids to get more
exercise and eat more nutrmous meals.
Promotion for the campaign includes images
of kids of all sizes and colors and shapes
exercising and enjoying healthy snacks.
There's little talk of dieting per se. But
the end goal of all this great stuff is not for
kids to celebrate their bodies and become
healthier and happier, but to fight obesity.
Weight loss is still the underlying pre~
scription for health. There is overwhelming
research to prove that sustained weight loss,
even "healthy" dieting, is impossible for the
vast majority of people. I'm concerned that
if people approach a plan like Let's Move
with the only goal being to lose weight that
they'd quickly become discouraged and quit,
losing all the other benefits of exercise and
good nutrition. It also stigmatizes the larger
kids, setting them up for bullying, and sets
everyone up, whether fat or thin, to fear fat.
Is it true that queer fat women face two
levels of prejudice?
Absolutely. I think whenever someone
exists in a marginalized segment of soci~
ety they're vulnerable to the judgment and
hatred of the majority. Women of color, fat
women, queer women are all susceptible
to deeply held prejudices. One difference
I would note, though, is that while there
is a growing recognition in society that
homophobia and racism are wrong, there
still is permission and even encouragement
to target fat people. Many people actu~
ally believe that humiliation and criticism
is a good way to motivate fat people to
become thinner. I think it's much more
likely to motivate them to feel awful and
hate themselves.
Why do you think the so-called war on
weight exists?
In part, because it's profitable. I think it's
obvious the ways in which the diet and
beauty industry need to cultivate our inse~
curity. After all, if we loved our bodies as
is, who needs [to pay for] a diet? My advice?
Repeat after me: "My weight is not a prob~
lem. Society's problem with weight is the
problem:'
Imagine how much we could accomplish
if women would just abandon the pointless
effort to lose weight and begin, right now,
to appreciate the power and beauty of our
bodies. We would truly be a force to reckon
with. (lindabacon.org) •
BOOKS»
Don'tJud
a
Butch by Its Cover
KanitheaPowe explores the aesthetic of gender-bending women.
BY KIM HOFFMAN
hen
hear the word "butch;' it produces a certain mental
picture. anithea Powell, an author and the founder of
Qwest Films, knows that you're probably picturing leather~
clad motorcycle girls, a sea of flannel, or your middle
school P.E. teacher. But for her new book, Butch, Powell expands on the
term and digs even deeper.
"There is so much that encapsulates a woman and so many levels of
masculinity. Even though a woman appears to be masculine, to me, she
is still very feminine;' says Powell, who sees now more than ever how one
umbrella term can no longer provide an adequate definition. So, rather
than attempting to create the definitive tome on butch~ness, Powell seeks
to document just one oment in the ever~evolving timeline of LGBT
identity, sparking new
versations and creating new meaning.
Also, Powell mentio s that because of cultural differences, in the
African American co
unity the swagger of a word like "stud" seems to
Y 2013
CURVE
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REVIEWS/
BOOKS
fit better than the "B" word. We've come
a long way since we took the "tom" out
of tomboy. "I find it interesting that the
(LGBT] community pushes for accep~
tance and freedom, but yet we embrace so
many labels. People feel safer in their world
if they can be tucked away in a little box. I
think we should lead by example and step
away from all the labels and terms. At the
end of the day, we are just women who
love women:'
The idea for Butch came about when
Powell was sitting at a cafe and noticed a
butch woman being approached by another
woman who mistook her for a man. "It
got me thinking about sexuality, androgyny,
and how awesome it would be to create a
piece of art that would spark conversation
and push the stereotypic norms:'
The result is a book of genderqueer por~
traits by renowned fashion photographer
Beverli Alford.
Powell feels that the takeaway is simple
and hopes that others see it, too-"There
is beauty in being genuine:' And it doesn't
hurt to be fashionable while you're at itwhich is evident throughout the book. Its
three sections, Bois, Suits, and Just the
Two of Us, feature women of all shapes,
sizes and complexions, donning tailored
blazers and bright kicks, posing shirtless in
suspenders, candid, dancing, standing tall,
perfecting the bowtie-and just generally
serving up butch queen realness.
Currently, Powell is hard at work on her
next feature film, Kill Her! While for some,
juggling a writing career and a film career
would be daunting, Powell believes that
her success is due to her belief in her own
capabilities. But also fueling her creativity
is the desire to share her messages, and in
the case of Butch, Powell uses evocative
images as a way to foster and explore an
understanding of butch identity both inside
and outside our community. 'Tm not tell~
ing a gay story;' she explains. 'Tm telling a
human story:' A beautiful and butchy one
at that. (qwestfilms.com) •
''
"I think we
should lead by
example and
step away from
all the labels
and terms. At
the end of the
day, we are just
women who
love women."
''
EDITOR'S
PICK»
BYRACHEL
PEPPER
The
Fainting
Room
Imagine a cross between a noir-infused detective
story and a lesbian coming of age tale. You
might then end up with a book resembling The
FaintingRoom.The second novel from New Haven
author, poet and accomplished plumber Sarah
Pemberton Strong, The FaintingRoomrecounts
the tumultuous events in the life of a married
couple and a teenage girl during the summer of
1983. Ray, an architect, and Evelyn, a tattooed excircus performer, manicurist, and now housewife,
live a seemingly sedate suburban life just outside
Boston. Underneath the surface, however,
tensions are simmering. So when Evelyn throws
a rock through the window of the family home,
injuring her husband, the balance for normality
teeters precariously toward doom. Enter Ingrid,
a punk rock outsider who's been expelled from
the local boarding school for drinking and a surly
attitude. At first, Ray and Evelyn think they're doing
a good deed by taking in the troubled teen when
she can't go home to her family. Soon, however,
Ingrid unknowingly becomes the catalyst for many
Saran
Pemoerton
Strong
(lgPuolisning)
30
CURVE
MAY 2013
unexpected changes in
the household. Ray begins
to write detective stories
again, Evelyn reveals her
tattoos, and alliances
are built around shared
interests such as classical
music, circus tricks and
time spent together in the
fainting room at the top
of the stairs. But when
Ingrid's lesbian passions are
unlocked, the book really
picks up speed, careening
quickly into a hard-boiled
sexual thriller, complete with sleazy hotel rooms,
a misfired gun and countless cigarettes. Strong's
writing is accomplished, and she creates complex
characters facing excruciating choices as they
stare down scintillating secrets from their past,
and Ingrid's sexual awakening springs them
forward toward promising futures.
REVIEWS/
FILM
Unbinding Gender
Filmmaker Lauren Lubin documents a personal journey of transition.
BY KIM HOFFMAN
L
0
(.'.)
z
0
~
0
u
~
2
auren Lubin had been living
the simple life in Costa Rica,
in a tree house in the jungle
for nearly two years when an
overwhelming self-realization began to
take form. "It was here that I was fully
able to see myself for the first time, see
the perfection of my being, and because
of this I could no longer deny myself' The
oneness experienced in the jungle, coupled
with a near drowning, brought to Lubin
the spirit to seize this one and only life. We
Exist was conceived-a documentary that
would take Lubin through life-changing
evolution: the transition from female to
gender neutral.
We Exist captures Lubin as a pre- and
post-op gender-neutral person living in
the binding societal construct of gender.
As Lubin puts it, "We have been so deeply
conditioned and indoctrinated by these
constructs that many have never actually
questioned the validity of gender. And
because of this, we may confuse a system
of beliefs as absolute truth, rather than
what they really are: a system of beliefs.
The fact that the concept of gender varies
so greatly from culture to culture, generation to generation, this flux disproves any
notion that any gender can ever exist as a
stable truth:'
In May 2012, Lubin was invited to be
a speaker for the Instigators Talk at
Chicago Ideas Week, sharing the stage
with major leaders such as President Bill
Clinton, Deepak Chopra and Lilly Ledbetter. "I think this was the first time ever
that someone like myself was given such a
grand stage, and also given an opportunity
to openly talk about such an important
message;' says Lubin. That speech is now
the No. l watched video from CIW.
The filmmaker, and one-time all-star
basketball player at Colorado University,
is a human being with the desire to receive
basic human recognition. "What I have
come to learn is my life will forever be
influenced by the deepening of my allowance and understanding of my truth. I also
know I will never stop learning the depths
of this truth. Because of this, I will always
be in a continual state of transition, and
I have come to find much comfort and
peace here:'
''
will always be in
a continual state
of transition, and
have come to find
much comfort and
peace here.
I
I
''
MAY 2013
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REVIEWS/
FlLM
We Exist will spark conversation and
impel others to reconsider the gender binary
to which we have given so much license.
"Conversation creates a space to exist. I
observe that globally we pretend that people like myself do not exist. And because of
this, we are excluded from receiving necessary healthcare, we are denied our needs
and feelings, and we are excluded from
just about all social settings. This film is so
crucial because I believe that transgender
rights are on the brink of a major movement, and this film is just one piece that
exposes our truth and pushes this movement forward. Whether this film provides
a face, or a story, or a safe space for someone who may be struggling, then this film
has served its purpose:'
The film has made an impact on people
all over the world, inspiring a near universal response: "Thank you for reminding
me I exist:' And there isn't one response,
supportive or cynical, that hasn't had an
influence on Lubin's soul.
In addition to the film, Lubin speaks
out at schools, where youthful curios32
CURVE
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ity and fearless questions
abound. 'Tm finding that
peoples' belief differences
are taking a backseat to
their desire to want to learn
more about my story. This
feedback signifies that this
topic has reached a critical
mass! We are ready and we
want to learn. Collectively,
we intellectually know that
we can no longer knowingly
turn a blind eye:'
Lubin says her work will
extend beyond the film in
a constant pursuit to fight for awareness
and educate others on gender equality. "My
whole life I was never confused about who
I was, but more confused as to why society
did not provide a space for someone like
me. Who am Ir I hope to never answer this
question with a sense of certainty because
that would mean I have become complacent
within myself' And let that be a lesson to us
all. We Exist is Lubin's space to grow-for
all of us.
"This film is the byproduct of my selfempowerment, a celebration of coming
into truth, and an ending to the silencing
of our stories:' And what would Lubin tell
the eternal kid in her who just wanted to
shoot hoops with Michael Jordan? "You'd
be really proud of who you've become!"
Becoming-well that's just one footstep of
many to come.
We Exist is slated for release by the end
of the year. (weexist.co) •
0
Cl
z
0
g
0
()
::e
2
A Sort of Homecoming
Martha Wainwright reflects on her most personal album to date.
BY DAVE STEINFELD
T
here are many ways to describe
Martha Wainwright, but the
best one might be "complex:'
On the one hand, she is a star
in her own right; but on the other, she is
often overshadowed by her family mem~
bers, especially her brother, Rufus. On the
one hand, she can be open, warm and witty;
but on the other, she can be aloo£ even
caustic (this is, after all, the woman who
wrote the song "Bloody Motherfucking
Asshole" about her famous father, Loudon
Wainwright III). On the one hand, she
recorded an excellent album of Edith Piaf
covers a few years back; but on the other,
she is equally comfortable in the world of
alternative rock.
Over drinks in Brooklyn's Williamsburg
section, Wainwright tells me about some
of the events that took place between
the release of her second studio offering,
2008's I Know You're Married But I've Got
Feelings Too, and her latest disc, Come Home
to Mama. We all go through periods in
life that are especially eventful or signifi~
cant. But what Martha Wainwright went
through during late 2009 and early 2010
was truly life changing. At the same time
that she was pregnant with her first child,
her mother, the folk icon Kate McGarrigle,
was dying of cancer.
"(It was] very difficult;' says Wainwright.
"I'd always planned to be there for my
mother at the end of her life because, as
the daughter, I thought that was my role.
But I couldn't be, and I feel bad [about]
that. I could not be with her because I
was-I
don't wanna say 'stuck' but-I
was stuck in England. I'd had a baby who
was born very prematurely, and we could
not leave the hospital. But Rufus really
stepped up to the plate and was there for
her. She died at home, in a really beautiful
way, surrounded by family. But those final
days were [also] very gruesome:'
The story gets even stranger. "I was in
London because I was (singing there];'
Wainwright continues. "I was onstage and
I started to not feel well. And I'd had a
totally normal pregnancy (up to that point].
The plan was to go home and be with my
mother and nurse (her] and the newborn,
you know? And it just all went completely
wrong. When it happened, and I was in the
hospital at King's Cross in London, I called
my mother and I said, 'You're not gonna
believe what's happening: She knew right
away that something was wrong. Her first
child was born at six and a half months,
around the corner from there. She had a
baby and it died the next day because it
was so small:'
"In Englandt I ask in disbelie£
"In London, around the corner (from my
hospital];' she replies. "She was 23 at the
time and became very sick. She was told
she was never gonna have children again,
(but] she went on to have Rufus and me.
So it was a complete revisitation-just very
intense and very strange:'
So Wainwright found herself stranded
in a foreign country with a premature
baby while her terminally ill mother was
in Canada. There were a couple of bright
spots, however. "The fact that he was born
two and a half months early allowed [my
mother] to meet him;' she says.
"She flew over when he was born, from
Montreal to London. His due date was
actually the day that she died. As he got
stronger and grew larger, she deteriorated.
It was like an incredible passing of life
from one to the other:'
Kate McGarrigle also flew to London
a mere six weeks before her death to
perform a Christmas show at the Royal
Albert Hall. "I wasn't (supposed] to be
MAY 2013
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33
REVIEWS/
MUSIC
able to attend [the show], because my plan
was to be seven or eight months pregnant
and to be at home;' Wainwright explains.
"Well, of course, I was able to be there,
because we were in London. My mother
flew over-which probably shaved some
time off her life, because she was very sickbut she really wanted to do it. She was lying
down with healers before the show. But
then she got up and did an incredible two
and a half hour show! She really conjured
up everything inside of her and premiered
the song 'Proserpina: I feel that song was
like a last gift to me before she died:'
Wainwright recorded her own version
of "Proserpina'' for Come Home to Mama.
It is the album's centerpiece-a haunting,
dramatic song that is, in fact, worthy of
Piaf-and it contains the lyric that gave the
disc its title. When I ask Wainwright if her
mother knew she was going to record it, to
my surprise she says no.
Come Home to Mama was recorded
in Manhattan at Sean Lennon's studio
and was produced by Yuka Honda, the
co-founder of Ciba Matto and Lennon's former girlfriend. Nothing else on the disc
sounds like "Proserpina:' Tracks such
as "Radio Star" and "I Wanna Make an
Arrest" have an alt feel to them, the latter
bordering on dance-rock. But the album's
last two songs, ''All Your Clothes" and
"Everything Wrong;' are beautiful ballads
that are difficult to listen to without crying.
They are dedicated to her mother and her
son, respectively. Wainwright doesn't shy
away from tackling difficult topics-and
she does it in a way that leaves her pretty
naked, emotionally. In "Everything Wrong;'
she addresses her son, Arcangelo Albetta,
who is now 3, as follows:
I don't want you tofeel alone
But you probablywill, when you are older
I will try to stay alive
To see as much throughyour eyes
But one day,you know I willgo
It's a nod to her own mortality, made all
the more poignant by the fact that she lost
her own mother not so long ago.
"When I was in my early 20s, I wrote
songs about unrequited love;' Wainwright
tells me matter-of factly. "Now I'm writing
34
CURVE
MAY 2013
songs about dying parents and marriageand the difficulties of it. You know, sometimes I feel sorry for my husband, for
having to grin and bear it, 'cause it's kind
of embarrassing [for him], I think:' She's
not kidding. Wainwright doesn't pull any
punches on that subject either. She addresses
her marriage-to
producer and bassist
Brad Albetta-several
times on the new
set, and rarely are the references flattering.
In ''All Your Clothes;' she comes right out
and says, "My marriage is failing but I
keep trying:' Not much ambiguity there!
But elsewhere, her take on marriage can
be funny. Witness this passage from "Can
You Believe It":
I'm sharpeningthe chip on my shoulder
As I get angrierI get older
Therearefewer andfewerpeopleto complainto
So I built a ship of shit and directedit at you
"I keep pounding him;' she admits. "But
I think it's a legitimate subject, you know?"
When the subject turns to gay marriage,
Wainwright-whose
brother recently tied
the knot with his longtime boyfriend, Jorn
Weisbrodt-is
reflective. ''A lot of [gay]
people are running to the altar [now];' she
says. "Why wouldn't your [But] I think
there's gonna be a lot of busy lawyers when
they start dealing with gay divorces. Because
it's a big deal, getting married. [It will] be
really interesting to see the potential fallout
from gay marriage. It'll be a whole new job
market for lawyers, I would imagine:'
It's ironic to hear Wainwright discuss
marriage with such ambivalence, given that
in "Far Away;' the first track on her selftitled debut, she sang, "I have no children,
I have no husband, I have no reason to be
alive:' As many musicians have, Martha
Wainwright is living in public, to a certain
degree. But she possesses a gift for honesty
that few of her peers can claim. The very
last line on Come Home to Mama-once
again from"Everything Wrong"-is"I have
been really, really sad. Except for having
you with your dad:' Again, there is nothing
hidden here and no ambiguity. Listening
to "Everything Wrong'' for the first time,
you expect Wainwright to follow that line
with something else-a lyric that will wrap
things up tidily, perhaps with a ray of hope.
But she doesn't. The song ends right there,
on a note of nagging uncertainty. And,
ironically, allowing yourself to be that vulnerable takes strength.
"Complex" it turns out, is an understatement. (marthawainwright.com) •
REVIEWS/
TECH
The ftToggingDead
Zombies, Run! puts a post-apocalyptic spin on your workout.
ou've heard it all before: This
miracle product takes all the
work out of working out and
makes exercise fun! While
some people swear up and down that get~
ting fit is like having a forever spandex and
endorphins party, for most us, working out
is just that-work.
It's something we do
because of the positive effect it has on our
body, mind and spirit-despite the drudg~
ery. But what if working out really could
be fun:' Zombies, Run!, a fitness app/ game
(available on iTunes and Google Play) may
be just what we've been waiting for to spice
up our exercise regime. We gave the app a
spin and here's what we found.
Zombies, Run! is set shortly after the
zombie apocalypse-you are the mysteri~
ous Runner 5 who when shot down near
Abel Township is quickly recruited to help
acquire essential supplies for the commu~
nity in return for save haven. Soon it's all
up to you to keep the small community of
survivors that call the township home safe
and growing. The game incorporates your
music playlist, unfolding between tracks
via voice recordings, radio messages and
pleas for help. As you run you automati~
Y
av RACHEL sHATTo
cally collect essential items like medicine,
clothing, batteries and ammo (the game is
fully hands~free during the mission). Once
you've completed your mission you can then
distribute the supplies you pick up as you
see fit. As you level up Abel Township, the
population grows, as does your access to
additional missions. It's all pretty straight~
forward so really the game's success hinges
on the plot, and its execution.
So, is Zombies, Run! fun:' It sure is is!
Fans of the undead will find plenty to love
here, as it's a bit like stepping into your own
personal episode of The Walking Dead. But
you don't need to be a zombiephile to have
a good time because thanks to an engaging
story, strong voice acting and spooky sound
mix it's a totally immersive experience. Plus,
since it rewards you for sticking with your
workout, you may find yourself extending
your run just to hear what happens next.
If curiosity isn't doing the trick, well, noth~
ing motivates quite like having a pack of
groaning, hungry undead nipping at your
heels-and when they begin to chase you,
you'll need to increase your speed for a
short time to outrun the horde.
Currently, there are 30 missions to play,
plus a radio mode to help extend the life
of the game (there is also a sequel in the
works). The game also gives you free access
to ZombieLink, which tracks your prog~
ress, including distance run, calories burned
and the all~important number of zombies
evaded, online. And if bragging rights gets
your motor running you can also auto~
matically share all your progress with your
friends on Facebook and Twitter.
Whether you're just looking to add some
excitement to your exercise routine or are
putting the finishing touches on your zombie
apocalypse survival plan, you can't do better
than Zombies, Run! So grab your running
shoes, ready your bunker and hit the road
because when the zombie apocalypse does
finally come, they are going to eat the slow
ones first. ($8, zombiesrungame.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
35
T-TIMEWITH
IAN HARVI
THE
TRANS
COMIC
ONHOW
TOGET
THROUGH
LIFE
AND
COME
OUT
LAUGHING.
BY ELIZABETH ESTOCHEN
0
ut comic Ian Harvie is as
ambitious as they get. Juggling two upcoming tours,
the Maine Comedy Festival,
and his new film, Superhero
Standup Comedy Concert Special-in addition to running the website FTMLover.
com-Harvie
has a lot on his plate. Open
about areas of trans life frequently skirted
around, he tells us, with punchy irony and
rare honesty, how to thrive.
Being trans is a huge part of your
stand-up routine. What did you focus
on before you were out?
My comedy may seem like it's largely about
being trans, but for me it's more about digging deep to be honest and vulnerable about
who I am, while making it funny and relatable. To me, that's what comedy should be
about. In the next phase of my comedic
development I hope to be even more raw,
honest and revealing. My comedy has always
been about being truthful.
How has touring with Dana Goldberg
and Jason Dudey for the Come Out
Laughing tour been?
I'm so excited to work with Jason and Dana,
they're comics I find truly funny. I respect
them a ton. Plus collectively, with all our
sexual identities in our beautiful complexity, we cover much of the LGBT alphabet
and we don't know of another funny trio
who does that. The dynamic between the
three of us, for me, is funny. Watching a gay
man and a lesbian be slightly confused at
times about their own sexuality because
they both-half-joking-have
admitted that
if they were single they would want to
fuck me-none
of us really know what to
do with that, so we crack jokes about it,
of course!
You've joked that you're frequently
mistaken as a gay cis-man. How do you
confront that?
I don't confront it exactly, I embrace it, like
I do with most of the things I experience.
None of us can control what other people
think about us, so why try? If I were to
describe the feeling of people thinking I'm a
gay man, it would be happy because I think
it keeps me visible in the LGBT community.
Especially on those days when I might be
feeling a little invisible to my queer brothers
and sisters as a trans guy.
Besides, imagine if I had gone from being,
visually, a real butch dyke to straight guy.
How friggin' boring would that be?
Tell us about your involvement in the
site FTMLover.com.
FTMLover.com is a dating, hookup, online meeting place for FTMs, trans guys
and masculine female-bodied folks, and
the people who adore them. There were
plenty of sites focused on other kinds of
people and interests, but there weren't for
guys like me, so I started it in early 2010
and it's a work in progress. There are some
technical kinks to be worked out, but we
are 5,000 plus members from around the
world. There will be a huge site update
coming up soon, and we're making some
great improvements.
How do you maintain your sense of
humor when faced with discrimination
about your body?
Honestly, I don't give a fuck about people
who try to discriminate against me. I don't
pay any attention to them, so much so that
I don't even realize if it's happening. I never
argue with bigots-it's a complete waste of
breath. Who I am and how I feel about
my body and gender is not up for public
debate, period. If I want to change someone, I invite them to one of my comedy
shows. I don't debate, I just share my story
through comedy.
What did it take for you to love and
accept the body you live in?
I love my body more today than I did before,
but I'm still not all the way there, not perfectly in love with it. I will keep working on
it, and it seems like that is everyone's life
work: to learn how to love our bodies more.
That is our biggest common ground and
shared experience. We all have these feelings about our bodies. When I think about
how everyone is struggling, then I feel like
family with everyone, not just LGBT folks,
but truly everyone. I will continue to work
on it and try not to get sidetracked in the
full-length bathroom mirror about how
my ass-crack is too high-which seems to
be part of my latest critique. How bored
do you have to be with yourself that you
have to start analyzing the length of your
ass-crack? "Sorry, I can't go to coffee with
you today, I'm having dysphoria about my
ass-crack:'
What advice would you give to fellow
LGBTfolks with few allies?
I would say that LGBT allies are not just
LGBT folks. People will surprise you with
their kindness, love and listening ears. If
you are looking for allies, you will find
them in high schools-if not yours then
one nearby, or a college nearby. They are at
coffee houses and concerts, yoga classes and
art openings, they are at the rock climbing
gym and the grocery store, they are at family reunions and places we work, and of
course through social networking. They are
there if you seek them out, and you have to
be persistent! You cannot make one attempt
and say you tried. If you need allies, it is
your responsibility to make sure that your
own need is met. It might seem daunting
at first, but the reward of finding them is
absolutely worth the effort. And, in turn,
you will be that ally for someone else too. It
absolutely goes both ways, just keep looking, don't give up before that beautiful event
happens. (ianharvie.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
37
Meet the lesbian who found herself
caught up in Bieber fever.
BY JENNY BLOCK
tall started with a Black Friday visit to a mall, where she
found herself hearing hushed whispers and deflecting
shy approaches-from teenagers and adults alike. But
once Shay Googled Justin Bieber-"I didn't even know
who he was," she says-she couldn't deny the similarities in their appearance. Needless to say, she wasn't too
thrilled. But, she says, it wasn't long before she found the
humor in it, "which is way more fun than being upset."
That's when she decided that the way to have fun with it was
to learn Bieber's song "Baby" and play it for friends at a nightclub.
Then, she says, "It just all dropped in:' She wrote a parody titled
"What the Hell" and before she knew it, the video went viral.
Although how it all came to be was certainly a surprise to Shay,
the fact that she would one day make her way as an artist was not.
"I came into the world with two main goals;' she says, "to make art
and to influence the world in a positive way:'
As a kid, making art meant drawing and writing. But at the age
of 9 or 10, Shay says she began to sing along when a friend was
strumming Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On:' Shay says he
told her, " 'You can actually really sing: After that, it was off to
the races.
Shay began singing in talent shows, and in middle school she
says she had a huge love for comedy and drama. "I did musical
theater and acting. I thought acting was the route I was going to go.
I thought I would go to New York and act:'
But the birthday present she received when she turned 16
changed all that. Her parents got her a guitar. Without any training,
she began writing songs. "I could hear melodies and ideas for lyrics.
I didn't know how to read music. I still don't:'
Instead, Shay taught herself some basic chords."! sat up all night
learning to play"Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional. That was
the first song I learned to play on guitar:' How she does it remains
a mystery. "I can't take full credit for all of the ideas and songs and
melodies. They drop out of nowhere:'
At 18, Shay left suburban Orlando, Fla., where she had grown
up in a traditional Mormon family, to move downtown and strike
out on her own. To support herself, she did a little of everything,
from door~to~door sales to restaurant work to dispatching calls for
a variety of businesses.
Because her sister needed help raising her two kids, Shay moved
in with her. "I loved being a parMime parent and working full~
time:' That was also the time when Shay began to pull away from
her Mormon upbringing and started dating women.
"It's all an exploration;' she says. "I gained so many positive
things from the church, like service to others and community. But
the male and female roles didn't jive very well with me:' At the time,
she was engaged to a man in the church, but when she began to
date women, she says the feelings she had were unshakeable. "They
are the feelings I want to have;' she realized. "I decided not to define
11
40
CURVE
MAY 2013
myself and, instead, follow where
my heart takes me:'
Then life took an interesting
turn. Shay was writing a lot of
music. She recorded a highly
introspective album. Then she
read The Four Agreements, and
it was around this time that she
started hearing those "Bieber"
whispers and wrote and recorded
"What the Hell;' posting it on
YouTube, where it sat quietly.
Suddenly, things changed. Shay met a man named John. "It was
one of those magical moments where you're asking, Who are you?
and Why are you in my life? and What are you here to teach met
What he taught her, she says, is a course called Avatar. "It was
December 2010. I was struggling financially. The relationship I
was in was on the rocks. I was ready for my music to reach people,
to experience success. I was ready to have my life be in a different
place. I remember thinking, I don't know what my life is going to
be, but I'm ready:' When she heard about Avatar, she sensed that it
was what she needed to get where she wanted to be.
She reached out to her family for money to pay for the course,
and they graciously obliged. "I knew I had to do the Masters course
to change my life, but also because I wanted to have an impact and
to help other people:'
Here's where things get a little wild. You might call it a conver~
gence of sorts. Or maybe you'd call it fate. Or even luck. Whatever
it was, it came after the last day of her Avatar course. She was
returning to her room and, Shay says, "If we could measure it, I
bet it's like, BOOM!" Her videos went viral that night. The media
came calling. Her Twitter account was blowing up. And Americas
Got Talent reached out to ask her to audition.
And it was all happening at once.
"There was a message from Mom. 'Call me ASAP. Honey, I
think you're reaching celebrity status: I was just initiated as the
newest Avatar on the planet and all of this happened:'
But she was concerned about doing Americas Got Talent. She
wondered if it would make her less of an artist. But after setting ego
aside, as the Avatar course had taught her, she changed her mind.
"My real intention, my real goal is to reach as many people as I can
and create an impact:' She knew Americas Got Talent could help
her do that. So she flew to Houston to audition.
She was eliminated after she made it to the last 48 standing.
But that turned out to be a good thing. Otherwise, she would have
missed out on what was around the corner- The Glee Project.
Shay read about the auditions and made sure she was there. "I
walked in and Robert [Ulrich] knew who I was and said, 'I love
what you did on America's Got Talent.' Shay says she couldn't
believe it, but it made her realize just how much she was meant to
be there. Later, in the green room, "Someone said, 'Oh, hey Justin:
It was a total Glee moment. I just busted out with 'What the Hell'
and everyone circled around:'
For the audition, she sang "Edge of Glory:' Shay says Ulrich
loved it and asked her to return for the callback. It was at those
callbacks that she met her Glee Projectco~star and now girlfriend,
Ali Stroker. "You want to talk about another amazing alignment of
the stars ... " Shay was about to sit at a table when a waitress redi~
rected her elsewhere. That elsewhere turned out to be a seat right
next to Ali. "It was an instant comfort and interest in one another.
It wasn't like, Tm gonna put all my love vibes out there: It was
genuine interest:'
That interest developed over the next five days to the point
where, Shay says, "Suddenly I was aware of where she was in the
room. The next day, we just laughed and laughed. It was like
reuniting with someone you've known for so long:' After three
days, Shay realized that there might be something more than
friendship between them, picking up on a little flirtation that was
revealing itself. But once she left the show, she wasn't sure what, if
anything, would come of it.
"What she did for me that week was, she showed me what was
possible, that I could have that kind of connection. And where I was,
in my current relationship, it wasn't where I wanted to be. I knew in
my heart [that relationship] was done. I knew [that was the case],
even if I never talked to Ali again:' Shay also knew that what she
wanted was to feel the way she felt when she was with Ali.
The two wrote to each other daily, saving the letters for when Ali
was no longer on the show. Shay says she wasn't writing to her out
of a desire for a certain outcome, but instead because she felt truly
connected to her somehow. While they were apart, Shay spent her
time "working to better myself:'
That plan included doing the P90X exercise regimen, just in
case things did work out with Ali, who is a paraplegic. Shay wanted
to be able to carry her-and her wheelchair-with
ease. She says
she thought about that through every workout. "That was a lot of
my motivation, really. I just trusted our connection. I didn't need to
know the outcome. I didn't feel worried or jealous. I missed her, but
I felt, This is awesome and she's probably kicking ass. I'll see her
soon and she's in a really good place:'
The two are a happy couple now. And it's a good thing Shay
did all of that P90X, since she lives in a sixth~floor walk~up in
Brooklyn. When Ali comes to visit, Shay first carries Ali up. Then
she goes back for her wheelchair. Then it's down and up one more
time with Ali's luggage.
Now, with America's Got Talent and The Glee Projectunder her
belt, Shay says she has her sights set on a couple of things for the
coming year-her new album, for one. And, she says, 'Tm in the
very early processes of conceptualizing a documentary looking into
gender and the lines and separations we create. The roles people
put us in and the roles we put others in:'
She also has her sights set on the final Avatar course, Wizards.
"It's all about aligning your consciousness and getting into the mass
consciousness and helping the world in a huge way:'
Shay is aware that some people think Avatar is a waste of time
and money. But she simply doesn't subscribe to that. "People have
shared their skepticism;' she says."But when you've had a result like
mine, it's hard to deny the power of being able to change your own
mind. What Avatar is all about is that it doesn't tell you what to
believe. It helps you discover what you do believe, and helps you to
perceive life as you would like to. Learning to live more from your
heart. To me, that sounds pretty good:'•
MAY 2013
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41
WRITTEN
ON THE
RealL Word star Lauren
Russellopens up about living
with multiple sclerosis.
BY MOLLY WILLIAMS
Multiple sclerosis is a chronic, progressive disease that
affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord; the
symptoms include numbness, blurred vision, and severe
fatigue, among others. In the summer of 2012, The Real L
Word's Lauren Russell was diagnosed with the disease.
"I started having symptoms last July;' Russell says. "It started
with my eye, losing sight over the course of four or five days, which
I learned is something called optic neuritis. At first I just thought
it was odd, and then I saw two or three different doctors pretty
quickly. I got diagnosed a couple of weeks later, so it all happened
really, really fast:'
Once the shock of wore off, Russell decided to learn all she could
about the disease, while she was in the process of getting her vision
and her body back. "To start with my eye;' she says, "I regained my
sight by using an IV of steroids at home for 10 days, which was
interesting. I've never had an at~home IV, but all I really had to
do was be careful, because I had the needle in my arm the whole
time. I can say it's gotten better, the vision has come back, but it still
gets foggy and the blindness comes back temporarily. I feel like this
bionic woman. But they say that after a year I should have my full
vision back:'
During that time, The Real L Word's season was in full swing.
Russell chose to keep her newly diagnosed illness to hersel£ so that
she wouldn't dwell on it."On the one side, I wanted to be educated,
and on the other side, because it's so dependant on your attitude,
I didn't want those negative outcomes stuck in my head;' Russell
says. "The crazy thing is that everyone's outcome is different, so it's
a little scary:'
As with every disease, it's important to stay positive, and that's
exactly what Russell did. Although it's not an easy task, she says
that reaching out and raising awareness really helps her to stay
grounded-and
to focus on a positive outcome.
"The National Multiple Sclerosis Society is coming out with an
all~new online campaign, so you'll be seeing my face on it pretty
soon;' Russell says. "There's MS Awareness Week here in New
York in April, so I'm going to be involved with that. I'm going to be
42
CURVE
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speaking out and getting more involved. I really
want to get out there and be an active spokesper~
son for the disease, and to help as many people
as possible:'
The nation watched as Russell's romance with
Kiyomi McCloskey, the lead singer of Hunter
Valentine, blossomed over the past year. As their love grew,
McCloskey became a steadfast supporter. "Kiyomi has been
awesome since the beginning;' Russell says. "She's been there right
beside me. She's been amazing and really supportive and helpful in
so many ways. I feel very lucky to have a partner like her. I've said
this before-I'm so lucky to have met her when I did, because I
can't imagine going through this alone, or with someone else who
isn't as understanding about it all. She really couldn't be any better
to me. She's amazing:'
Through it all, Russell is still working on her company, Lyon Fine
Jewelry. From the metal~grunge look of spikes to a simple leather
bracelet, the trend in androgynous jewelry can be seen all around
the world. When she launched her company, she began selling the
look with an upscale twist.
With her own diagnosis in mind, Russell designed a charity
bracelet for MS awareness. It's the newest addition to her ever~
popular bracelet collection. With the encouragement of her friends
and family, Russell created the Positivity Bracelet to inspire fellow
MS sufferers and to remind everyone that there is hope. Russell says
the bracelet-a plus sign pendant on an orange (the MS awareness
color) cord-is one of her favorite designs. Fifteen percent of the
proceeds will go directly to the National MS Society.
Never one to indulge in selfpity, Russell is staying optimistic
and aware that she's not the only woman out there with MS. "The
first symptoms that appear are going to be shaken off as nothing,
because it'll be numbness in the leg, or feeling unbalanced, or some~
thing like that;' Russell says. "Not everyone will have a blind eye,
like I had. I feel blessed that I found out when I did. MS is very
common in women around my age, early 30s-most women are
diagnosed between the ages of 28 and 32. It's good to get to know
the disease, so you can check out the symptoms. I wish I had:'•
FASHION»
MAGNEllSM
A QUEERMELBOURNEDESIGNER
HAS A FLAIRFOR FULLERFIGURES.
BY MERRYN JOHNS//
STYLING BY SPRINKLE//
PHOTOS BY ANDREW WUTTKE
HAIR & MAKEUP BY GUTTA SUPERNOVA
Joan Holloway shops at Sprinkle Emporium-at
least
in my mind, anyway. With sizes ranging from the
Australian 8 to 18 (U.S. equivalent, 4 to 16), there is
no doubt that the prolific and idiosyncratic dress
designer Sprinkle Magic has the Mad Men goddess's
body type in mind. Her quirky, nostalgia-inflected,
and
largely practical garments are "cut for curves" -think
Jayne Mansfield's hourglass and Botticelli's pearshaped Venus.
The key to the collection is Sprinkle's signature
wrap, which allows you to indulge in a fitted-bodice
look while letting the bias-cut skirt flatter your hips.
The Spring 2013 line, Wild at Heart, takes the animal
print concept and pairs it with the designer's ongoing
love affair with the wrap.
Cowl necks, which are always flattering to busty
ladies, make an appearance, as do sailor-inspired side
buttons on pants and skirts. Bold solid colors, also flattering to women of size, are mixed with patterns and
borders, to create a commanding silhouette.
Sprinkle Emporium is not your waif-centric, preta-porter shopping nightmare that would make many
women run screaming from the mall. Best of all, the
online store, with a complete size chart, allows you to
shop accurately, and you can have your garments
fitted to your measurements. And if you're shopping
for your lovely lady, gift vouchers are available.
(sprinkle-emporium.com)•
MAY 2013
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UHNK
JAYNE
NIANSF
IELD'S
HOURGLASS
AN,q
~0111CELU'S
PEAR-SHAPED
v ENUS.
46
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MAY 2013
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RUBINSINGER'SHAUTECOUTURE
IS FOR REALWOMEN WITH STYLE.
BY MERRYN JOHNS//
PHOTOS BY BRYCE THOMSON
hat do you think of male fashion designers,
truthfully-women-hating
queens with frail,
zero-minus waifs as their muses? Look at any
fashion runway to have that belief confirmed.
But if you feel like challenging that notion, meet Rubin
Singer, a gay, woman-worshipping
style impresario
with an impeccable fashion pedigree.
Singer is a true lesbro, and like us he has strong
women on his mind: If you watched Beyonce's halftime performance during the Super Bowl, you might
remember her killer duds-designed
by Rubin Singer.
And the chart-topping glamazon is not the only one
to choose Singer's bold fashion concepts, rather than
go with a major designer. Rumored celesbian Queen
Latifah is also a fan, and we know she's no size zero.
Singer's fearlessness, and his unabashed appreciation of women's sizes and strengths, are reflected in
his latest collection, Valkyrie's Dominion, which pays
tribute to the warrior handmaidens of Norse mythology
(with a lashing of fetishwear thrown in for modern
measure). Singer's Valkyrie is a compelling and
contemporary figure: He describes her as "a fearless
social warrior who guards what is hers and conquers
I'm not an evening gown gal, but after one visit to
inger's studio, in the heart of Manhattan's Garment
istrict, I wouldn't want to wear anything else to
nquer the night, and with prices from $700 for
ething a superstar would wear, it's a fantasy to at
t entertain, should the red carpet ever beckon!
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49
hat I especially admire about Singer is
the family history that comes with his signature style. His Jewish grandfather fled
the Nazis, walking from occupied Poland
across the border into Russia, where he became
the first couturier for the Communist Party. Singer
Sr. was asked to make a suit for a top Bolshevik in
exchange for his life; luckily, the suit passed the
revolutionary's taste test and a fashion dynasty was
born. His son, Rubin's father, emigrated from Russia
to the United States and made a name for himself
in fashion in the 1970s and became a Studio 54
denizen, where he mixed with the beautiful people
of Manhattan's fashion scene.
After flirting with a career in ballet, Rubin Singer
returned to the family trade, partly as a tribute to his
mother who died in his arms when he was 18 years
old. "I was heartbroken," Singer tells me. "I wanted
to die, too. But I decided to take her spirit and everything she had hoped for in life, to take it into the
future and live. It's why I love designing for women.
I want to design clothes that empower women,
while also representing them as desirable."
For Singer, who studied at Central Saint Marfns
College of Arts and Design in London and ske hes
his own designs, which are works of art them
wes,
the beauty myth is completely mutable. "I make
sizes, from 000 to anything at all," he says.
After all, his father began his design career as a
couturier for the Moscow Circus, dressing horses
and elephants, and making these extraordinary
creatures shine. "The issue is not size," says Singer.
"But the spirit of the wearer is."
He has found such spirit in clients such as Latifah,
who he describes as "amazing" and of course, in
Beyonce. "I can tell you there is a reason she is as
big a star as she is," he confides. His mission for her
Super Bowl costume was to "make her look strong
and sexy." Mission accomplished. The little-known
fashion designer is now the name on everyone's lips
and the label on the A-list's hips. (rubinsinger.com) •
.~·.
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When she dances, Stormy Leather-the Naked Girl of
Burlesque-is like a firestorm that, as much as you try
to, you just can't tame, and in the end you don't really
want to-if you're smart.
The first time I saw Stormy Leather perform, at a
burlesque show at the Stonewall Inn, it was like being
in the eye of that firestorm-and
I loved it. Stormy
spun a spell, using old-school moves, combined with
naughtier neo-burlesque, that Ishtar, the Babylonian
goddess of love and war, would envy.
Her set was burned into my mind, so I was delighted
when I caught up with her before she headed out to
Vegas, to perform at a new nightclub at the Palazzo.
It also sent me on a Stormy Leather burlesque junket,
taking me to some of the naughtiest and most naked
burlesque shows in the city. She was dubbed the Naked
Girl of Burlesque by her friend and sometimes partner
in burlesque crime, Melody Sweets, whom Stormy
credits with helping her break out of her shellalthough it's hard to believe she was ever in one.
My interview with her revealed a beautiful, creative,
sexy, super-smart woman who loves women, and we
spent much of our time discussing the women in her
life. They often include the women of burlesque, who
love and support one another in life as well as in art. I
had to ask about her sexuality.Tm bi now, gay later;' she
..~~~ti~;~;i.i\
...
,.:.';
THE BISEXUALBOMBSHELL
BARESALL.
BY DAR DOWLING
says, smiling. Coming to terms with her bisexuality was
not easy when she was growing up Southern Baptist in
Oklahoma and Texas, where being bisexual or lesbian
was either a joke or downright dangerous.
In high school, Stormy was confused by her feelings
for women, secretly checking out the girls in the locker
room while still being attracted to her boyfriend. It
wasn't until years later, when a friend came out to her as
bisexual, that Stormy had a name for what she felt, and
someone to talk to-and experiment with.
Until her late 20s, she thought she might be going
through a phase, but while she was living in Chicago she
was finally able to embrace her sexuality. Stormy took
a little heat from friends who thought she should pick
one gender or the other to sleep with. Others wanted
to know whether she liked men or women better. Her
answer?"! love who I love;' she says
For Stormy, love and sex have lots of starting
points-and
none of them have to do with gender. It's
about a connection, whether it begins with a conversation, a feeling, a touch, a smell or a look. Stormy has
been in a long-term relationship with a woman, and
although it didn't last, "It didn't end because she didn't
have a penis;' she says.
Stormy's acts are certainly fun and sexy, using fan
dancing, tassels, pasties and feather boas, along with
drag, bondage, fetishes and other erotic
extras to rile up the crowd. Yet her numbers
make you think-and do a little work to see
what she's getting at. This is one of the reasons why Stormy is so special.
"Daddy's Home'' is a performance piece
that she prepares for by going into a "psychologically dark space:' This Method burlesque,
in full "daddy drag,'' is about a very broken
person who pulled out a gun, rolled on a
condom, and pointed it at her vagina.
For Stormy, this piece is profoundly
personal. "It's a number that shows my
frustration with that distinct difference
between the way men and women are
treated," she says.
For queer burlesque with substance,
Stormy Leather is an absolute must-see.
(stormyleathernyc.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
53
the
exq isite
pere
mpassioned by quick-paced drums, Perle Noire is a flurry
of windmill arms and lively steps, her body adorned by a
beaded loincloth and sparkling pasties. At the final drumbeat, she drops to her knees, her arms thrown back in
abandon. The audience responds with a standing ovation.
As patriarchal society continues its war against the
female body, the burlesque superstar says, ''As an artist, it's
my privilege to ruffle a few feathers while raising awareness
regarding body empowerment and owning your sexuality:'
Perle, who is "attracted to people from both Mars and
Venus;' was crowned Most Dazzling Dancer at the 2012
Miss Exotic World Pageant and is ranked fifth in a worldwide burlesque lineup.
"When you see a woman onstage, topless, fearless and
unapologetic, it ignites something deep within;' says Noire
whose journey toward sexual empowerment started with
dance, particularly the neo-burlesque movement, which
embraces all body types. She recounts her first experience
at the Burlesque Hall of Fame, which hosts a reunion for
queens of past decades and features performers of all sizes
and ages: "I watched beautiful women in their 50s, 60s and
70s strutting their stuff with an air of confidence, power,
elegance and mastery. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. I
decided that I had the right to love myself, my body, and to
ignore the negative sounds of society:•
While she admits to shyness-"my heart is always
pounding before I go on stage"- Noire is a free spirit when
it comes to nudity. She doesn't blush when losing a pastie;
instead, if the crowd hoots enough, she might peel off the
remaining sticker and dance in celebration. As she travels the
world, spreading her sassiness, Noire has noted divergent
attitudes towards nudity. "In my experience, Americans
tend to be the most prudish and squeamish about nudity.
A few years ago, I was invited to join the Teatro Circo
Price circus in Milan. The show was packed every night
with married couples, sassy, refined women and, to my
surprise, families. In America, you have to be over 18 to
see a burlesque show, but in other parts of the world,
nudity is considered natural and artistic instead of lewd
and lascivious:•
Noire's unique beauty is equally mesmerizing both on
an off stage. Her appeal is not only in her curves, but also
in her arresting gaze and vibrant energy. "Selrconfidence
54
CURVE
MfW 2013
is always in season. It's the most important accessory for a
woman to flaunt:' Still, she says that she gets turned down
for jobs for not having "the right look:' The demand for
conventional beauty has driven some dancers to surgery,
including skin-lightening operations. While not opposed
to body modification in general, Noire prefers make-up,
vintage jewelry and to wow audiences with a "grandiose
vision of'exotic' culture and beauty:' She proves that carving your own path can lead to major success. Last year,
she was the first American burlesque queen to headline
in Tokyo.
"It's important for me to showcase [the beauty of]
African culture ... because I'm proud of my heritage, and
I'm honored to pay respect and tribute to the queens who
paved the way for me:• Noire's act "La Baker" celebrates
Josephine Baker, while the more recent"Exotique Mystere"
glamorizes Oshun, an African goddess. Noire says it's her
"mission to change the prototype of burlesque;' which has
often played up racist tropes. "Too many producers present
'exotic' dance acts in their shows in a primitive manner
without the authentic extravaganza power. One particular
producer asked me to take advantage of my authentic exotic
look and create a Voodoo act. I was on board until I saw
the costume sketch. Instead of flaunting a traditional, exaggerated, ornate burlesque costume, the producer wanted
me to appear on stage like a savage. I looked at the sketch
and refused to portray a savage. When I'm on stage, I'm
not only representing myself, but the men and woman of
the stage who knocked down doors so I can walk through
with grace:•
Unfortunately, Hurricane Katrina blew through the
midst of Noire's career, crushing her house. She says that
her New Orleans neighborhood"looked like a scene from
a macabre version of The Wizard of Oz. Houses were literally in the middle of the street:' Though distraught, Noire
worked past her heartbreak, taking time away to reflect
and prepare her return to the stage. Since Hurricane
Katrina, she's performed in Tokyo, Rome, Milan, Sydney
and New Zealand, and is now touring with the Strip
Strip Hooray! show alongside the renowned Dita Von
Teese. "Hurricane Katrina was devastating, but I chose
to fight instead of flight. In the end, I became a beautiful
lotus flower:' (perlenoireburlesque.biz) •
THE BUXOM BURLESQUE
STARCELEBRATESHER BODY
AND HER HERITAGE.
BY ELIZABETH NGUYEN
MEET PROUDQUEER
FATFEMME BEVIN
BRANLANDINGHAM.
BY MOLLY WILLIAMS
an
Bevin Branlandingham is truly aJill-of-all-trades. The self-described
plus-size party girl is an attorney by day and a fabulous, cupcakethrowing femmecee by night. She is also the founder of The Queer
Fat Femme Guide to Life blog, which is a treasure trove of advice,
inspiration and hilarious posts. "It's my relentless pursuit of joy at
the intersection of these three identities: queer, fat and femme;' she
says. "Each identity is an important part of who I am and how I
experience the world, but like all intersectionality those identities
are interdependent. I write about dating, fat fashion and style, sex,
politics, art, body liberation activism, friendship, queer community,
my adventures in travel and selflove, interesting people I meet, my
pets, queer nightlife in New York City and beyond:'
Branlandingham's career in burlesque started when she was laid
off by a law firm and she decided to take advantage of being set
free from her day job and make the transition to making a living
through her art and political work. In 2011 she joined the burlesque scene, performing as a drag king in Philadelphia, which
proved to be a life changing experience for her. "I learned I was
femme by knowing folks who thought it was a good thing to be
femme;' Branlandingham says."! learned it was OK to be fat because
my performer pals thought I was gorgeous and hot and deserved
to be on stage just as much as anyone else. It really helped me get
out of my self-hating shell:'
While in the troupe she also learned how to produce queer
nightlife, something that carried over to her extremely popular
monthly Rebel Cupcake events-fabulous, flamboyant New York
dance parties packed with booze, burlesque performances and
dancing. "I love my community and it is important to me to create
nightlife where people feel safe being themselves when they go
out;' Branlandingham says. "I don't think I can eliminate all folks'
insecurities about going to a dance party but I know fostering a
body-positive, flamboyance-positive environment definitely helps.
That is really rewarding work:'
Branlandingham cuts a striking figure with her two-tone hair,
ample curves and 1,000 watt smile, but it's not always easy
being fabulous. One of her more popular blog posts is called "In
Solidarity with Folks Who Have Been Called 'Too Much:" In it
Branlandingham writes of how she's been called "too fat, too loud
and too feminine" her whole life. She identifies as a body liberation
activist, someone who believes that fat oppression effects everyone
in our society and that everyone can work together to make the
world better and accepting of all bodies. "Personally, I hated my
body for so long and learning that there was another, happier aru:{
better way of life was a revolution;' she says. "I feel so much gra~
rude for my body, for how 'babely' it is and how much I am able tct.
do in it now that I don't feel like I have to hide in baggy clothes and
the bog of depression that comes with self-hate:'
She is currently working on a tell-all memoir about how she
went from being a working stiff in a law firm and getting married to the wrong person to finding her true purpose on the dance
floors of Brooklyn's queer nightlife. Expect it to be full of dyke
drama, sex and empowerment. "My mission in life is to make the
world safe for people to love themselves;' Branlandingham says. "I
believe that everyone in the world is entitled to love themselves
exactly as they are, right now. Self-love is a radical act in our
society and has the power to revolutionize your happiness, how
you experience the world and what you are able to accomplish:'
(queerfatfemme.com) •
eautv
Queen
dreams
KYLANARIANNA WENZEL WAS THE FIRST
TRANSGENDERCONTESTANTTO COMPETE
FORTHE TITLE OF MISS CALIFORNIAUSA
BY KIM HOFFMAN
Ever since Kylan Wenzel saw her first Miss Universe contest on
TV at the age of 11, she's wanted to compete in pageants. So that's
exactly what she did. This past January, at the age of 26, she com~
peted for the title of Miss California USA. There's no doubt about
it, Wenzel, who stands at 5'10;' is drop~dead gorgeous-so when
she didn't make it to the finals, one had to ask, What happened?
Wenzel's story may sound familiar because it was just last year
that a Canadian Miss Universe contestant, Jenna Talackova, was
eliminated from the competition when it was discovered that she is
transgender. Experiencing a tremendous backlash for disqualifying
Talackova, the Miss Universe organization changed its rules.
Wenzel, who moved up her gender reassignment surgery by six
months in order to vie for the crown, spoke to Anderson Cooper
on Anderson Live, where she came out to the public prior to the
pageant. When asked if she felt like she had a fair chance, the
answer was a foreshadowing. It was a simple "No:'
For Wenzel, who was brought up in a military family, making
friends and finding her niche wasn't easy, but moving around a lot
gave her an appreciation for many different cultures throughout
the world. Still, growing up proved difficult at times. "I was picked
on for being extremely feminine and not doing what boys were
suppose to do, for having a high~pitched voice and basically thinking
and acting like a girl:' She channeled her interests into contests as
diverse as Miss Universe and the Olympics, and into astronomy,
music, fashion and, of course, modeling.
When she made the decision to transition from male to female,
she flew to Thailand for the high~risk operation, where she stayed
for weeks, under the care of someone she lovingly refers to as
"Mommy Dawn:' Hearing the voice of her boyfriend on the phone
every day to help her heal. 'After my surgery, when I went to the
California court to become legally female, for the first time in my
life I felt free. I was relieved that I was finally allowed to be mysel£
and that people were seeing me for the person I was for the very
first time in my life;' she says.
Wenzel was now prepared to compete for Miss California USA.
During a rehearsal, she was informed that the she and the cluster
of women she had been grouped with would probably not make
it to finals. Her confidence fading, she then overheard a group of
contestants whispering crude things about her-contestants
who
did make it to the finals. "Men feel insecure with admitting that
I am an attractive female, and women find it unfair that I am
allowed to compete with these girls;' says Wenzel, shedding some
light on real~life transphobia.
Although she refers to the Miss USA competition as "one of
the worst experiences" of her life, Wenzel was reminded that this
event, though not the landmark win for the trans community that
she had hoped it would be, was in fact a huge victory after all,
simply because it happened-and
Wenzel was there to represent.
"When the judges are picking the winner, it's not supposed to
be about the swimsuit, or the evening gown, it's about the girl in
the swimsuit and gown. They can change your evening gown. They
can give you a makeover. It shouldn't matter if the girl trips on the
runway or how many twirls she has in her swimsuit walk;' Wenzel
points out. It's a judging operation that has been scrutinized over
the years for placing a "cookie cutter" figure up on the pedestal, one
that Wenzel calls "Victoria Secret;' and was told to "stay close to:'
Though the Miss USA system let Wenzel down, there are
people in her life-her family, her boyfriend, several women in the
media-who influence and guide her to move forward. She wishes
funny lady Lucille Ball were still alive, so they could live next door
to each other and joke around. Likewise, she identifies with Ellen
DeGeneres, since DeGeneres uses her comedy for good clean fun
and doesn't cut others down in the process. And, of course, there's
supermodel Tyra Banks. "By watching America's Next Top Model, I
felt like she was personally telling me how beautiful I am, just the
way I am:'
In Wenzel, there is supreme inner strength that is both tried and
true. A part of her regrets having been so forthcoming on national
television, and wonders whether it would have made a difference
if she'd waited to come out until after the pageant had ended. But
she has landed herself onto a master list of pioneers-she's a risk~
taker fighting for all the ll~year~old kids sitting in front of their
TVs watching a pageant, whatever their gender, sexual preference,
body type, color, or grasp of the world and all its sudden hurdlesbarriers that people like Wenzel are prepared to knock down.
Wenzel has big plans to go to the state capitol in Sacramento
with the Gay Straight Alliance, proposing a new bill for transgender
youth. And speaking of hurdles-'Tve also thought about becoming
a marathon runner. The Olympics accept transgender individuals.
But my running days might be over;' she laughs. But can't a girl
dream? Never say never. (kylanariannawenzel.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
57
I
change
mygen er
AT 57,TERENZIOSTONE BEGANHIS
TRANSITIONFROM FEMALETO MALE.
"Hi Sally. Great to see you:' We hug. "Been a long time:'
I pull out the slat back aluminum chair opposite her and sit at
the table in the noisy vegan fast food joint. The restaurant smells
cozy, of warm roasted vegetables and grains in late winter. It is
Saturday early afternoon and the place is packed with telecommuters tapping away, iPhone buds deep in their ears. I get to the
point. It has been a long time since we set eyes on each other.
"In case you're wondering;' I say,"I am transitioning:'
"Congratulations;' she says, eyebrows arched.
That's what people say to me these days. Or they say, That's
very courageous. But I'm baffled by both responses. Why is it
courageous? It makes me wonder if some fucking brick house is
about to land on my head. I take it in stride and we chat.
I am 57 years old and recently started the transition from female
to male. When I thought about writing this I thought there's not
much to report yet since it's my first year on testosterone. But
then I came to the realization that I had spent five decades or
18,262 days, which is 430,000 hours thinking about this. I have
plenty to say about what it feels like-what it means to become
myself-a man. This decision didn't happen overnight.
For a very long time, through adolescence and most of my adult
life, I felt like a prisoner in a cell. One day the door was suddenly
flung open. I stepped into a sense of freedom I have rarely experienced and mostly fantasized about. Even two years ago you would
have had to hit me with a two-by-four to make me quit imagining
this step and actually do it. It would be like someone telling me
I was going to invent time travel, go into the future, grab some
Lotto numbers and return and win Powerball.
Believe me, I tried for a long, long time to live as a woman.
However, in spite of my best efforts, my life as a self-identified
lesbian was miserable. On any given morning I'd wake up with
a feverish truth in my stomach: "Get me the fuck out of here!"
"Somatized stress" a shrink used to call it. But as I got older, I realized shrinks don't have the answer. I was sick of hearing I was not
a loser, just someone who made bad choices (you know, chooser,
not a loser). What was really going on was that no amount of
shrinkage had acknowledged let alone freed my masculine sel£
It was still chained up, unrecognized or ascribed to bad alcoholic
58
CURVE
MAY 2013
behavior (1 got sober at 25). The project was still how to be a
happy homosexual.
After the last therapeutic go-round of desperately clinging to:
the long-term girlfriend, condo-buying fantasy, and a grinding
full-time job that sucked up all my creative energy, I quit psychotherapy. I slammed out of the office, snarling at my shrink,"You're
useless!" When I was 25 I was aware that my life was fucked up
but I still hoped that my gnawing gut might be wrong and that it
could get better. By 55, I had real evidence that going along with
what other people wanted me to be was killing me.
Yet, despite all the gaystream suburban lesbians that I secretly
envied who had fabulous Martha Stewart Home lifestyles, I had
no desire to change into a better, more successful lesbian at that
point. The ongoing project of fitting in wasn't helping, neither
were the questions: with 10 years left could I make a mark that
represented who and what I really wasr What could I do at this
point in my life to signal success?
After returning to New York from a terrible professional consulting job in D.C., still smarting from a failed romantic relationship,
I came home, unpacked my clothes and began to hang them up.
Looking at each tame and boring outfit, I had the stunning yet
quiet epiphany. I will never put on women's clothes again. At that
moment I realized that my only real failure was a lifelong attempt
to pass as a woman.
With that one simple decision of what I was and was not going
to wear every day, regardless of the situation, I'd crossed a point of
no return. And I wouldn't go back. I felt a new sense of agency I
have never experienced. Ever.
Sally and I did catch up over roasted vegetables and vegan
cheesesteak subs. She offered a chance to collaborate on her new
project-a
theatrical homage to Cocteau. When we parted she
hugged me and observed: "You seem more comfortable in your
skin:'
"You can see that, huhr It's true. For the very first time I
have the sense that my inner self matches up with the outer
one;' I agreed
'J\nd you're really hot;' she said, eyes twinkling.
"Well, of course that's the most important thing:'•
fatand
prou
STACYBIAS HAS DEVOTEDHER LIFE
TO FIGHTINGA BIG SOCIETALSTIGMA.
BY ELIZABETH ESTOCHEN
60
CURVE
MAY 2013
At the mention of"fat activism;' any number of women-or men,
for that matter-will cringe, crinkling their noses at what the term
might entail. Our culture's stigma against fat people, especially
women, is no secret. And given the uproar over our "obesity epi~
demic;' and the campaign to identify it as a major health threat,
the idea of fat activism is controversial. It takes a strong and
determined person to lead the charge, both embracing fatness and
boldly fighting for equality. That's where Stacy Bias comes in.
What does the opaque term "fat activism" mean, exactly? What
wrongs does it want to seek to right? Fat activism "means equal
access to medical care, an end to economic and social discrimi~
nation, and an end to dangerous and dehumanizing state and
public discourses around fat bodies;' says Bias. It's an equal rights
movement, and is frequently intertwined with other movements
to battle discrimination. Bias lists off "racism, classism, sexism,
homophobia, ableism-because
these topics are so interrelated
that it makes little sense to look at one without considering the
implications of and for the others:'
The founder of the company Dyke Tees, Bias began her journey
as a fat activist in Portland, Ore., in 2002, after being inspired by
an intersex, genderqueer and sex worker spoken~word event, which
was organized by third wave feminist Emi Koyama. "That night
WHAT THE HECK IS
FATACTIVISMANYWAY?
Stacy Bias gives us the (not-so) skinny
on the social justice movement.
So what exactly is fat activism?
It's an umbrellaterm for a movementthat contains a multitude
of voices and myriad, sometimeseven conflicting goals. There
is no singlespokesperson,voice or goal of fat activism because
fat is an intersectionalissue. This meansthat fatness intersects
all other forms of oppression: racism, ableism,classism,
sexism, homophobiajust to namea few. That said, it's fairly
safe to assumethat most fat activists, somewhere in their
work, are striving toward an end to discrimination based on
size. This meansequal access to medicalcare, an end to social
stigma, economic marginalization,and job discrimination.
was the first time I ever came out publicly to represent TechnoDyke
[Bias's former online forum], and the reason for my previous absence
was a fear of others knowing I was fat, and judging the site as less
valuable somehow because of it;' Bias recalls. "I felt that the stigma
attached to my fat body would be projected onto the site, and I
didn't want to damage it:' The event opened up a new world for
Bias. "I was moved by the raw emotionality and complete lack of
apology with which Emi and her fellow performers took the stage;'
says Bias."Emi's event helped me to realize how ridiculous it was to
continue to give power to stigma, and I got angry:'
Bias harnessed that anger, and transformed it into a constructive
force. She began by forming a committee, then organized FatGirl
Speaks, a day of conferences and workshops and an evening of
entertainment by fat~fronted performance groups. The event
was a huge hit. FatGirl Speaks sold out, and Bias's work took
off from there.
Fat activism is unique in its complexity, consisting of several
ideas that support a basic statement of equal rights. One of the
most difficult elements is what Stacy Bias defines as "the difference
between trying to make an institution fit and tearing down existing
structures to allow room for new ones to grow that work for
everyone:' This is to say that instead of accepting the "fat is beauti~
ful" mantra, the ultimate solution to the problem of fat stigma is to
question why beauty is relevant at all. It's a concept that the masses
might not care to wrap their heads around, let alone support, and
it's an ambitious goal to aspire to.
What is the next step for Bias? She's relocated to London, U.K.,
to study anthropology and media at Goldsmiths, University of
London in the hope of learning more theory to aid in her activism.
Currently, she is working on the Fat Experience Project, an oral,
visual and written history project in which varying first~person
experiences of fatness will reveal an over~arching narrative view of
geography, culture and politics. Bias continues to encourage others
to come into their own. 'J\ttempting to love your body, rejecting
hate and negative messages, building self~care-all of this is work
worth doing;' she states. 'J\nd in the meantime, there is also work
to be done to tear down the structures that make that work so
difficult:' (stacybias.com) •
Why are you reclaiming the word "fat"?
Mainly,fat is truly the only objective descriptor out there. Fat is
exactly that: fat. It's somethingone has, a cell type. Everyone
has fat cells. Somehave more. Some have less.
How will I know fat activism when I see it?
It looks like lots of things! It looks like puttingtogether a
dance party in an accessiblevenuewhere all bodiescan be
comfortable. It looks like organizinga clothing exchangeso
peoplecan trade clothing in an environmentthat is warm and
encouragingrather than buyingnew things. It looks like forming
a committeeand taking on local governmentto add size as
a protected class againstdiscriminationalongsidegender,
sexualityand ability. It looks like acknowledgingfellow fatties
on the street. It looks stuffing flyers in diet books. It looks like
speakingup when someonesays somethingterrible about fat
peoplein front of you. It looks like interruptingsizeist practices
in your workplace or goingwith a fat friend to the doctor as
an ally againstdiscrimination.It looks like wearing tank tops
and showingyour arm flab, or working to accept yourself even
when you don't feel comfortable doingthat. It looks like being
seen,and seeingothers as undeniablyfull-bodied,well-rounded,
complexand worthwhile humanbeingsregardlessof size,
gender identity, ability, ethnicity, class, age or sexualorientation.
I'm in-how do I join the revolution?
There is an abundanceof resources out there to help you
discover your own local fat community.Here are a few sites to
get you started:
NOLOSE.ORG: A vibrant communityof fat queers and their allies,
with a shared commitmentto end the oppressionof fat people!
NAAFAONLINE.COM: Foundedin 1969,the NationalAssociation
to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA)is a non-profit civil rights
organizationdedicated to endingsize discrimination in all of its
forms.
BELLENOIRMAG.BLOGSPOT.COM: Bi-monthlyweb zine was
created to promote the positive imageof big beautiful women
of color.
MAY 2013
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STYLEPIONEERVELVETD'AMOURCELEBRATES
AND SHOWCASESBODY DIVERSITY.
BY MOLLY WILLIAMS
Luscious curves, amble bosoms and voluptuous thighs aren't exactly
what come to mind when one thinks of high fashion runways, but
that hasn't stopped Velvet d'Amour. The plus~sized model caused
quite a stir when she modeled for fashion heavyweights like John
Galliano and Jean Paul Gaultier. But haute couture controversy is
just the beginning for the glamorous d'Amour, who is also talented
photographer with her own business Velvetography. d'Amour is
also the founder of the fashion magazine VOLUP2.
Many pay lip service to the idea of greater inclusivity in fashion,
images of "real women'' and models who fall outside of the main~
stream concept of beauty. D'Amour, however, is actually doing
something about it-on every glossy, gorgeous page of VOLUP2.
The body~centric fashion magazine (think V but with a whole lot
more curves) not only features plus~size models, but also models of
every gender, sexuality, size and race.
Why did you create VOLUP2?
I started VOLUP2 last year as I wanted to create a magazine that
showcased who fashion left behind. The plus magazines in exis~
tence often avoid using larger plus~size models or models beyond
hourglass shape. I hoped to show more diversity within plus sizes
but also to showcase older women, women who are differently
abled, as well as a plethora of different ethnicities, and also include
some mainstream models. I think what is needed is diversity and
my creating VOLUP2 is a way to showcase diversity in fashion.
VOLUP2 features queer models as well. Was that by design?
That is a conscious choice, as it's all part of diversity and I
honestly don't get not showcasing all people. We all exist and yet
so many end up feeling badly about themselves because there is
little to no representation within mainstream media. By avoiding
inclusion and constantly glorifying an image, which is for the
vast majority exceedingly inaccessible, we end up
with people hating themselves instead of loving
themselves. It simply makes sense to feature queer
models along with everyone else as we are the
fabric of humanity, and I hope to celebrate all that
is gloriously human.
What is your favorite way to celebrate your
body?
I celebrate my body by photographing others,
oddly enough. It's really nice to take out my camera
and showcase the genuine perfection that is real~
ity, to uplift other women. It's easy to get lost in a
world that saturates us with unending images that
are made to create a sense of inferiority. I believe
that art is a way that so many of us can feel vali~
dated and can fall in love with ourselves again, as
we aren't born hating ourselves-that
message is
taught to us along the way.
What advice do you have for those struggling
with self-acceptance?
I think one of the first steps towards making peace
with your body is to realize that it is normal.
Modeling for a life drawing class is a great way to
see yourself as a work of art. Another thing you
can do is head to the museum and see that every
era had its beauty ideal and it is up to us to realize
this and make this era our era, however you may
look. You are unique, celebrate it! (volup2.com) •
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THE
CLIKS'LEADER
ONGEN
DER,
ROMANCE
AND
THEBEATLES.
BY DAVE STEINFELD
OVER
THE
YEARS,
there
have been more than a few times when I've
discussed relationships with other men: traded war stories, commiserated over a broken heart, or attempted (often in vain) to
better understand the female psyche. But doing this over drinks
with Lucas Silveira is different from doing it with any of my other
buddies, if for no other reason than that he used to be a woman. As
longtime Curve readers and alternative music fans know, Silveira
is not only the leader of Canadian rock band the Cliks but also
a transgender male, the first trans male, in fact, to be signed
to a major label. On a frigid February afternoon, over drinks in
Brooklyn, I remind Silveira (who is now engaged) of something he
told me in 2011, a year when both of us had our hearts broken."Oy.
Women, dude. I wish having been one would give me more insight.
But the more I'm around them, the more I fully realize that I am
indeed a man-inside
and, now, out:' Having found that fascinating on a number of levels, I ask Silveira to expand on it.
"This is going to bite me in the ass, isn't it?" he asks with a laugh.
"Well, I think when I said that I was going through some heartache. What man who's dumped doesn't say shit like that, right? But
in all seriousness, it's true. I think like a man, and I know it because
of conversations I've had with men around trying to understand
the complexities of women. My cousin told me the other day something that made me laugh, which was that in any relationship you
can either be right or you can be happy. I think women choose
more to be right and men choose more to be clueless.
"Being a person who identifies as a male in a physicality [that is]
still female, and then transitioning to a male, was a very interesting
thing;' he continues. "I still believe that somewhere in my psyche
there is a place that has been conditioned and socialized to be female.
So I do think I have the upper hand on understanding women.
But at the same time, there is something about the connection to
emotion that is very different. And trying to understand women
while also having been one was probably one of the most complex
things I've ever done, and continue to do. Especially now, because I
believe that [the] hormones have made me really think like a dude!
I don't know if they change your brain chemistry, or what they do,
but things that used to bother me don't bother me anymore. The
way I process information now is very different. I can't multitask
anymore. I forget things a lot! I could say that's a male attribute, or
I could say it's a unique thing to myself as an individual-maybe
I just think about different things [now]. You know, it's very complicated. But the whole female thing is ... it's so ... it's like this whole
mourning thing I had to go through. I love women so much. I feel
so comfortable around them. In a group of dudes vs. females, I always
find myself wanting to have more conversations with women than
I do with men:'
"But you never really felt like a woman?" I ask.
NO !
I mean, I thought I did, but no. It's very, very
hard for me to [say either] 'I don't get them
because I never was one; or 'I do get them because I was one: I know that sounds really complicated and I don't
think I'm saying what I mean, exactly. I feel like women are built
differently, emotionally. I truly believe that women have a higher
tolerance for emotion. Like, now I get sad and it's really intense,
but it's never as intense as it used to be. I feel like I wanna cry but I
can't-there's a numbness. But that's my particular experience. I'm
not saying that all men are like that:'
In addition to the other changes that Silveira has endured in the
last few years-biologically, geographically, musically, personallyhe has fallen in love again. By definition a hopeless romantic, he
met Skye Chevolleau a few months after moving back to Toronto
and is now engaged to her. "She's awesome;' he replies when I ask
him to describe her. 'i\nd, of course, [she's] always right! Seriously
though, she's great-an extremely talented and beautiful human
being who doesn't see her own potential. She's a piano player, can
play classical music by ear, yet she doesn't call herself a musician.
She's also an amazing singer.
"The beautiful thing is that she sees me. She doesn't see my gender,
she doesn't see my sexuality, she sees the person that I am. And
that's what I always needed from a human being. When I met Skye,
she was primarily lesbian-identified. I was like, 'Is this gonna be
a problem? Am I [running] into a wall here, trying to be with a
woman who really, really loves womenr' And it totally isn't an issue.
11
MAY 2013
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65
I'm who she wants to be with-but she's also attracted to women.
It made me think about these straight women I would meet who
would all of a sudden fall in love with a girl. They'd be like, 'I don't
understand it! I know I'm straight, but I'm in love with this chick.
Does that make me gay?' And I [was] like, 'No, not really. It just
[means] that you're in love with a woman:
"So many people want gender and sexuality to be this very
simple thing. You're a man or you're a woman! You're gay or you're
straight! And if you're bisexual, then you're confused. And it's like,
'No, it's not like that at all: I always bring it back to the whole
Cynthia Nixon [thing]. When she said, 'I chose to be gay; the gay
community fucking went crazy about that. Why are you losing
your shit about a woman saying she chose to be gay? [People think]
you can't say things like that because if you say things like that, that
means we can choose to not be gay. Like, if you choose to be gay
it's wrong, but if you don't choose to be gay
it's OK? No! People need to start realizing
that if you want people to accept you as you
are, you need to accept them within [the]
community for how they are. I have seen so
many gay women ... who will totally be like,
Tm done with you' when they find out that
one of their lesbian friends started dating a
guy. They see it as a betrayal:'
There's no question that having been born
a woman but living as a male (one who has
had top surgery and undergone hormone
replacement therapy) has given Silveira a
unique way of looking at gender. But other
things have changed for him as well since
the last Cliks album, Dirty King, arrived in
2009. The band's long-awaited third studio
outing, Black Tie Elevator, arrived in April.
Produced by the Toronto-based musician
Hill Kourkoutis, the 11 songs on Black Tie
Elevator will no doubt surprise those who
thought they had the Cliks pigeonholed
after the ballsy but melodic rock of Dirty
King and their ace debut album, Snakehouse. Turns out, a physical transformation wasn't the only change Lucas Silveira had up
his sleeve. The new Cliks album largely abandons rock in favor of
blues, reggae and soul.
"It was sort of a fluid thing that happened;' says Silveira of the
change in musical direction. "I didn't really notice that it was happening, [but] every time I played for somebody, they'd be like,
'Wow, this is really different!' [I was] like, 'I know!' I'm starting to
feel more comfortable writing from a place of the influences that
I've always had, which were, like, Prince, Michael Jackson, Lenny
Kravitz, Marvin Gaye. I've always had a real big love for soul
music-but I also loved rock. When I first started the band, I was
in this really rock phase in my life. It might have had something to
do with the fact that I felt like rock'n' roll was really masculine, and,
as somebody who was embodying this new identity, but having to
remain in the physicality of a female, I really feel like I was trying
to overcompensate, without even realizing that. Whenever I would
sing a soul song or try to write [one], I would always break it off
halfway through. [But] when my voice deepened and I saw the texture
and the soulfulness, it just felt like a natural place to go to:'
Though it takes a bit of getting used to, Black Tie Elevator
rewards repeated listening and represents an important step in
the Cliks' evolution. Like many of the best musicians, Silveira
refuses to make the same album twice. Some of the highlights
of the disc include the reggae-tinged opener, "Stop Drinking My
Wine''; "Sleeping Alone;' a ballad that could have been recorded in
the '50s or early '60s; "4 Letter Words;' which features a lovely vocal
turn from Chevolleau; and the dramatic "Walking in a Graveyard;'
which closes the album. Of the latter track, Silveira says, "[That]
was one of the last songs I wrote before going into the studio. After
returning to Toronto from living in Brooklyn, I came back to a lot
of loss. My ex-girlfriend had done a lot of damage to my life by
spreading rumors that weren't true-and because of it, I lost some
really close friends. I also feel like I lost part of my community,
from judgment. People don't know the truth but they are always
apt to judge. [So] I went through this
bizarre range of emotions that made me
feel like I was in a city with the living dead.
This may sound funny but I started writing
the song after watching an episode of Star
Trek: Next Generation where Dr. Crusher
attends her grandmother's funeral and
stays at her house and is then haunted by
her grandmother's invisible lover. There's
a scene where she goes to visit her grandmother's grave, trying to figure out what's
happening, and the image just [resonated
with me]. I got on the piano and boom!
There's the song. It was strange, the whole
way it came out. It reminded me of something from New Orleans:'
Despite Black Tie Elevator's foray into
new musical stylings, rest assured that
Silveira has not lost his love of melodic rock.
I've always known that he is a huge fan of
the Fabs and, in fact, that his first rule in
life is not to trust anyone who doesn't like
them. This time around, I had to ask him
point blank what the Beatles mean to him."No one's ever asked me
that question and I love it;' Silveira replies. "In my opinion, they're
one of the most revolutionary bands ever. They opened so many
people's minds. When you go from 'Please Please Me' to a song like
'Within You Without You; how can you not be like, 'What the fuck
is going on?!'
"When I was a kid, I lived in Portugal;' he continues. "I lived in
a village 0£ like, 600 people, and we had very little music. So my
dad and my sister would order music from a magazine. You'd pick
out what you wanted and you'd pay for it. My sister would order
stuff and then my dad ordered a Beatles Greatest Hits [collection].
I was a very lonely kid. I didn't feel comfortable hanging out with
other kids, and I think that was mainly because I was always being
referred to by gender. And I just remember sitting in front of this
tape player-literally, with my arms crossed and my eyes closed, at
the age of 6 and 7-listening to the Beatles. I really believe, fundamentally, that my love of melody comes from that place. They
were my teachers:' And Silveira was clearly a good student. Like
the Beatles, he continues to evolve, to make good music, and to defy
expectations all along the way. (thecliks.com) •
"SO MANY PEOPLE
WANT GENDERAND
SEXUALITYTO BE
THIS VERYSIMPLE
THING. YOU'REA
MAN OR YOU'REA
WOMAN! YOU'RE
GAY OR YOU'RE
STRAIGHT!AND IF
YOU'RE BISEXUAL,
THEN YOU'RE
CONFUSED.AND IT'S
LIKE,'NO, IT'S NOT
IKE THAT AT ALL."'
66
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•
hile her boisterous nature has made Ditto a star it can also come
at a cost-as was the case with her recent arrest in Portland, Ore.
for disorderly conduct. After being cut off and ejected from a bar,
Ditto reportedly stood in the middle of the road, shoes off, shouting "Obama!" (well, at least her politics were in the right place).
However, Ditto is no diva. Despite being embraced by the likes of
Kate Moss, Karl Lagerfeld, and all of Germany (where her single
"Heavy Cross" was especially successful), Ditto remains a down-toearth small-town girl who refuses to think of herself as a celebrity,
surrounds herself with people she first met in her teens, and always
keeps an emergency beauty school tuition fund tucked away-just
m case.
In Curve's first ever interview with Ditto, the singer speaks
quickly, in bursts of syllables laced with her broad Arkansas accent.
Whether she's talking about enduring poverty as a child or sitting
in the front row at New York Fashion Week, she invites a sense
of familiarity and easy intimacy, so that forgetting she is a bona
fide rock star is a simple task. And it's this same contradiction of
dazzling presence and genuine humility that makes Ditto such a
source of fascination and inspiration. Whether she's stripped down
to a bra and soaked in sweat on stage or commanding the pages of
a glossy fashion mag in full couture regalia, you never look away
from Ditto-and
really, why would you want to?
Today, Ditto is known as a successful musician, an activist, and
an unconventional muse in the world of high fashion; however,
her life has not been all glitz and glamour. In her memoir, Coal
to Diamonds-which
the singer wrote with the help of Michelle
Tea-Ditto discusses growing up dirt poor in Judsonia, Ark., with
unflinching candor. When asked how she was able to be so open,
Ditto credits both Tea and her upbringing-using her typical mixture of introspection and humor. "I think it was easier, when I was
working with Michelle, because we kind of understood each otherthere was no explaining [required);' says Ditto."! think it was being
able to talk to her via the queer language, not having to explain
'trans; and, you know, like, 'post-op;'pre-op;'femme: Knowing what
all those things mean. Knowing that she could understand them
because she had also lived them. It made it really easy to be frank,
and not, like, really watered down. I'm also Southern and I think
Southerners, we're notorious for being over-sharers. We absolutely
don't have a filter. We just say whatever's on our minds-except for
'God damn' in mixed company. Don't say that;' jokes Ditto.
In the book, Ditto lays bare the generations of abuse that colored every aspect of her early life. It actually started before she
was born, when her mother suffered sexual abuse at the hands of
her father, Ditto's grandfather. (The case went to trial and Ditto's
mother, Velmyra Estel, not yet a teenager when the court proceedings began, was publicly shamed and called a liar by the town and
then by a judge, who found Velmyra's father not guilty.) This cycle
of abuse would continue on into Ditto's life; neither she nor her
siblings and cousins were left unharmed. She shares stories of both
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CURVE
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overt abuse and the more insidious kind: quiet, endemic abuse
that, when endured with enough regularity, becomes the norm.
In one particularly chilling instance, she tells a story of her cousin
being forced to spend every evening with his nose pressed into
the corner of the room-a punishment that went on for most of
his childhood.
"I felt it was really important that I told that story, because it was
such an important story to me and really shaped my view of the
world ... and of what constitutes abuse. You don't have to punch
a kid in the face for that to be called abuse or neglect. I always
call that '80s child abuse ... that's not really the way it looks, afterschool-special style. It wasn't that black and white. It wasn't that
easy to read. It wasn't that easy to see. It took me until adulthood
to see that, actually, these things were absolutely abuse and totally
traumatizing. And that's why they stuck with me for so long. So
for me it was really important to talk about. Also, to tell this story,
to let people know that we were on their side:' Ditto adds, "I still
have a really hard time sleeping at night sometimes [thinking about
my younger cousins). I have nightmares about them constantly. I
can't imagine what they go through. Just talking about it makes
me super-emotional. Writing it and talking about it with Michelle
was really hard. The dreams that I would constantly have. It's just
really sad:'
Throughout her childhood and teens, Ditto lived a nomadic
life, moving between family members' homes, moving on whenever
living conditions became too toxic. Although she struggled to find
her place at home, she did find a place among the outcasts in her
high school. When faced with her burgeoning sexuality, Ditto
appealed to her high school boyfriend to get her pregnant, thinking
that it would somehow solve her growing gay problem. Fortunately
for Ditto, her boyfriend had the forethought to decline her suggestion-a rare piece of luck for her in a community where teen
pregnancy was common. Even with that bullet dodged, Ditto was
on the verge of being swept into a life of struggle, abuse, and poverty when she discovered feminism, an exotic ideology in repressed
and patriarchal Judsonia. "I had to get out of there. I just couldn't
be around it anymore. And I feel like that's where feminism saved
me. It came in and gave me a language to identify those feelings and
right some wrongs. And also to forgive myself'
Today, feminism still remains at the core of Ditto's beliefs,
and when many young women shy away from the label "feminist;' Ditto proclaims it proudly. "Embracing feminism was what
saved my life, so of course I'm going to be a force for it. I think the
reason why other women are afraid of it is because I think we're
afraid of our power:'
Another hugely influential discovery for Ditto was stumbling
across the Riot Grrrl movement, thanks to VHS copies of music
videos by Hole, Veruca Salt, and Nirvana-smuggled in from out of
town because MTV was banned in Judsonia-and zines cherished
and passed around among her friends (Gossip guitarist Nathan
Howdeshell was already a friend). The DIY feminist movement,
inspired by the likes of Bikini Kill and Bratmobile, helped Ditto
to embrace her sexuality, reinforce her growing feminist inclinations, and ultimately leave her family and move from Arkansas
to Olympia, Wash., where she started her band. "So many women
from our generation benefitted from Riot GrrrL When people are
like, 'It didn't change anything,' that is utter bullshit. I don't think
it's even arguable:'
"I still consider myself a Riot Grrrl;' says Ditto. "I don't have
any cat's-eye glasses, but, you know, I would if they fit my face.
But they're too small. You know what, cat's-eye glasses are sizeist.
There, I said it;' she jokes.
Ditto's bold decision to move across the country, leaving behind
everything she knew, paid off. Once ensconced in the Northwest
music scene, Ditto found her true calling as the frontwoman for
Gossip. It has given the once-voiceless Ditto a global voice, a responsibility that she takes seriously. "I feel like when I have a chance to
use the voice, I do. Maybe it's because I come from a punk background, where it's not cool to be, like,'Yes! I do feel very important!'"
she jokes. "I think it's better to be self deprecating. But I do feel
very important in that I'm from a really important movement and
was influenced by that and got to be part of it and got to perpetuate
it, for sure:'
While she is loath to call herself a celebrity, Ditto is hopeful that
her radical messages will resonate with future generations. "One
person can grow up and be someone you never thought they could
be, and change everything. You don't think about that when you're
25 and you're meeting a 10-year-old, a 12-year-old, a 15-yearold-and they're listening to music, or writing, and reading your
zine or your blog. You don't think about that. But guess what, in
20 years, when that person is 35, they could be a fucking senator.
You don't know. And in the moment, it's like you can't plant the
tree and want it to grow the next day. It's going to take 10 years.
That's what activism is, period. Every little bit counts:' She adds,
"Patience is the key in activism, and I'm sorry, but it is. I know we
want it now, but we have got to be patient. Sometimes there's not
time and that fucking sucks, and some people don't have time and
it's an injustice, but it's a reality:'
One of the places where Ditto is successfully making her mark
now is in the world of body politics. Much has been made of
Ditto's stature, and while most women would crumble under the
intense scrutiny she has faced about her body, Ditto actually welcomes it. She is proud-ready
and willing to talk about fat politics
and subvert expectations about how women are supposed to look,
behave, and feel about themselves. "I just feel like it's a good topic
of conversation. I feel like I get sick of it weighing on my mind, but
MAY 2013
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71
I don't feel resentful. I'm comfortable being a guinea pig. I'm like,'lf
you want to discuss, discuss away. If you want to debate, go for it:
I'm not digging around for it on the Internet. Which is another key
to happiness in my life. I just feel like when things start to weigh on
me, I just have to remind myself to get in touch with what's going
on with me and how I personally feel about it. And so I think
that keeps me from being resentful toward that kind of attention.
I don't feel a lot of pressure. I feel like it's more important to talk
about it honestly. I guess I've just accepted that as one of the things
about being a person who's recognizable or identifiable:'
And for those people who claim to simply be concerned about
her health, Ditto has this to say: "Well, are you concerned about
people who weigh 120 pounds and smoke every day and do loads
of coke on the weekends? Are you concerned about them, just
because you look at them and they're thin? No. So let's talk about
concern later. That's always my answer to that:' Ditto continues, "I
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love to throw my blood pressure around in people's faces, which is
120 over 78, which is perfect. Literally, textbook perfect. So that's
my favorite trick. I love it. I think the facts speak. They really speak
loudly. It's an insane idea to me that people would look at a person
who's in the right height-weight index and think, Oh, they're
healthy, when it's like you don't even know what they're doing to
play into that little limit that you've decided was the right one, and
I think that's just absurd. You can't judge a book by its cover:'
Perhaps it's this utterly unapologetic attitude that has allowed
Ditto to penetrate one of the least fat-friendly cultures imaginable: the world of high fashion. Ditto has walked the runway for
Jean Paul Gaultier, rubbed elbows with Karl Lagerfeld, and was
featured in a stunning editorial in Pop magazine, in which she was
decked out in couture from Prada, Yves Saint Laurent, and Marc
Jacobs. But even when playing muse to some of the world's top
designers, Ditto remains faithful to her mantra, The Personal Is
Political. "There's also something really awesome about being that
like, J\.m I doing this? Why am I doing this? Is this the Man's way
of tricking me into being played that way?'
person, that guinea pig. And sometimes it just takes somebody to
When Ditto discusses her upcoming wedding to her fiancee,
be there, to be, like,Tm not accepting this. Fuck that. No way:
"I feel like things have happened. And change is slow, and it's Kristin Ogata, the already vivacious singer becomes even more
animated. "It's in June, I'm flying my family to Arkansas. I've been
real. But meeting with those designers you learn so much about
told not to tell anyone where it is. Kristin was like, 'Will you please
where they're coming from. It's also a money thing. I think what's
more insane is how much money that shit costs. I think there's
stop telling people where we're getting married?' And I was like,
a lot of different arguments that go with fashion-about
bodies,
'Oh yeah, I guess that's a good idea: It's really good to get really
excited. I feel really lucky because I have a lot of really awesome
attitudes, money. It is an elite, exclusive, privileged world. And I
friends who are in the biz, in the beauty biz. I think it's going to
get to peek into it. Mind you, not as deeply as other people, but
be really beautiful, it's going to be incredible. And I can't wait to
I feel like I've penetrated it really pretty deeply, and it's fun and
confusing sometimes. Also, my dad used to have this saying when
be married. I've never been that girl who's like, Tm going to get to
wear a beautiful dress; so to me it's weird
the milk expired. He'd say,J\.h, that milk
turning into that person:'
don't know what day it is: That's how I
Ditto has been hands~on in the organiz~
feel about the tag on the fucking clothing.
Like, that dress doesn't know what size
ing of the event and the reception, but
; .•.
•...•.
•.•·.·_::.·.\.::tt····
,,~
I[
even for a rock star, putting together a
I am. It doesn't tell me what size I am, I
I CEO
tell it if I want it or not. I feel like, also,
wedding can be daunting. "Planning is
great and also stressful. It's just like you
being fat really forced my creativity and
MY CREATIVITYAND
my resourcefulness. I like a challenge.
see in the movies-when
you see the
MY RESOURCEFULNESS family and this person can't sit with that
Like, I see your size 12 and I accept your
I LIKEA CHALLENGE LIKE,
challenge:'
person, and that person has drama be~
cause so~and~so dated this person-it's
While Ditto's body image is a healthy
I SEE
one, it hasn't stopped her from having had
really like that. But I'll tell you that the
wedding ceremony, the party we're having,
a complicated relationship with her body
YOURCH~lE~GE,,
over the years. After all, it has endured
there's so many people I couldn't narrow
it down. It's the Southerners meet the
physical and sexual abuse, prejudice, self~
Hawaiians, let's just say that. She's from
mutilation, and severe illness-shortly
after moving to Portland, Ore., Ditto was diagnosed with sarcoi~ Hawaii and I'm from Arkansas. It's the locals meet the yokels, I'm
really excited:'
dosis, a disease that nearly left the singer blind, dea£ dumb and
And as for the ceremony itself? "We're writing vows. It's non~
with paralysis in her face and vocal cords, and she suffered a devas~
traditional but traditional. Because I like traditional, and I think
tating spell of depression that left her suicidal. In Coal to Diamonds
she describes the decision to check in to the hospital as: "That's
people are always really surprised by that. I like it pretty straight~
forward. The person who's officiating it is a princess, there's a lot
where you go when you're all grown up and you need a babysitter.
I needed a babysitter, badly:' However, her body is also something
of goddess~y elements, and I'm really excited about that. Maybe a
Ditto takes great pride in and loves, as it is the source of her voice, little witchy, because we're lesbians;' she laughs.
"[Kristin and I have] known each other since we were 18, so
of her being, and, as she puts it, "It's where my brain lives:' She's in
it's not like a brand new world, but I feel like I'm really excited
a much better place today, but when asked if she thinks about that
internal tug of war, she says, "All the time. Right now is a really
for the new chapter, to see what happens. Because so far life has
brought so much cool shit, I'm like, 'What the fuck is going to
interesting time because I just bought two wedding dresses- I hate
happen next?'"
to be that person who talks about their wedding all the time, but
While there is no way to know for sure what the future holds
it's consuming my life, so it's going to come up-but I just got two
wedding dresses because I'm not sure which one I want to wear. for Ditto, at the very least she is enjoying every minute of the pres~
ent. "You know, there are times when I'm like, 'Wow!' I say to my
Both are a size 20. And I'm trying to maintain a 20 and not gain or
lose, because those are expensive dresses and I'm not sure if they're
girlfriend all the time, 'We have such a blessed, privileged life, and
going to fit in four months. One of the symptoms of my disease is we're so fucking lucky to have what we have: I have a great house,
I have a great girlfriend, I have great friends, I have an amazing
really serious [weight] fluctuation. So I've been, for the first time
in my life, really conscious about what I'm putting in my body. And
job and an amazing family. I don't feel like a celebrity. It comes up
people are like, 'Oh, you' re going on the wedding diet: And I'm like, a lot in interviews, especially in places like Germany and France.
They'll be like, 'Oh, so you're a celebrity: It's just a completely dif~
'What? No!' Why can't a fat person watch what they're putting in
ferent world. I don't feel it because I come home to Portland and
their body without it immediately pertaining to getting smaller? I
no one gives a shit, and it's great! It's very humbling-to
be, like,
think it's really interesting. You can't experiment with what makes
at the nail salon and the ladies are talking to you and they're like,
you feel one way or the other without [people] immediately going
to body image. I don't think it's bad. I don't think it's a bad idea
'So what do you do again?' every single time I go in there. And it's
to not want to spend more money on a dress-especially when just keeping it real and keeping me in check, which is good for the
you've bought two of them already. But it's conflicting because it's old big head:' •
.,~;~n~Elli aEl
>-rREALLit
1l!-~7l/\NO
MAY 2013
CURVE
73
TRAVEL»
THE
REAL
EAT/
PRAY/
LOVE
We refer to our most anticipated travel destinations as places that make our bucket
list. But what if you were really given a death sentence? Where would you go?
Lesbian author Amy B. Scher discovered her own path to healing through travel.
As a debut author, I'm flattered when people ask me if
my book is like Eat, Pray, Love. Perhaps it's the colorful
narrative of my time in India, the spiritual nature of my
journey-or
simply the sacred cow on the back cover.
My initial reaction is that it is not similar at all. My
journey, in fact, was never intended to be a powerful
emotional and spiritual odyssey. It was a last-ditch
effort to save my 28-year-old life with an experimental
stem cell treatment at a tiny clinic in Delhi.
But I've realized that maybe there are some parallels
between my book, This Is How I Save My Life, and
Elizabeth Gilbert's incredible bestselling memoir about
her journey across Italy, India and Indonesia in search
of hersel£
THIS IS HOW I ATE
When I first heard about a possibly life-saving treatment
in India, I thought, Why oh why can't this be in China?
There was no food on Earth I disliked more than Indian
food. I worried that my already underweight body
would suffer. The strong smell, the taste and the texture
of curry were too much for a stomach battered by longterm antibiotic therapy. My first meals in the hospital,
saucy earth-toned globs all running together, made me
long for the fettuccine alfredo of home.
At some point in my trip though, something magical
happened. The smell that would regularly nauseate
me by permeating my hair and my clothes started to
become a comfort. Cravings for my favorite "green
chicken" became the norm, and I regularly delighted the
cook by requesting it. I started to embrace mutton and
ghee and all the things I had so valiantly resisted.
Two months after I arrived in Delhi for my first
round of stem cells, I was hooked on every spice and
sauce available. I left for home with a new favorite
74
CURVE
MAY 2013
cuisine and an extra 20 pounds of healthy body weight
to show for it.
THIS IS HOW I PRAYED
During my first few days in India, my doctor sent a
colleague from another hospital to visit me. She arrived
with little or no explanation of who she was or what she
was doing. When I reread an excerpt from my book, it is
apparent that she's the guru I never knew I needed:
"She carriesa huge purse, has long silky thick hair and
wears typical, intricately-patternedIndian attire. Shefeels
closerto a presencethan a person. After 30 years of being
a physician and probably doing double that time living
her life, she strikes me as intellect and spirit wrapped in
a sari."
As she sat with me, she began speaking of her
Buddhist practice, Daimoku-chanting
specific words
that reveal one's state of inner Buddhahood. I took an
interest in Dr. M's practice and became her student. She
invited me to her home, and when we chanted I felt the
energy shift around me. Her gift became my own ritual,
a sort of meditative entry into my new life. I fell asleep
every single night staring at the bright blue wall in my
hospital room as my repetitive words faded away with
the day.
THIS IS HOW I LOVED
I stared across the physiotherapy room, with its yellow
curtains and much-too-loud music, and I saw her. I
didn't know why, or what was causing me to wonder
so intently what she was about, but I did. Charlotte, it
turned out, had come to visit her mother, Janet, who
was being treated at the hospital for amyotrophic lateral
sclerosis (ALS). ALS, often referred to as Lou Gehrig's
disease, for the famous American baseball player who
suffered from it, is a fatal disease involving the nerve
cells. Life expectancy is two to five years from the time
of diagnosis.
My meeting with Charlotte was one that was never
supposed to happen. My plane ticket home to California
was for three days earlier, but I had a bout of food
poisoning and wasn't able to fly. Charlotte arrived from
London before I could catch the next flight. We laughed
together almost nonstop for days, and silently wondered
what would become of our seemingly magical meeting.
We soon had to separate and spent the next several
months writing enough emails to fill books. Finally, we
decided to meet halfway between her city and mine-in
Boston. I asked her to marry me the first night. She said
no. We laughed some more and time moved on.
We racked up many travel miles just to be together
for a week or two at a time. Neither of us could move
because her mom's health was declining, as was my
father's in California. But we made it work. My dad
always told me, you know if someone is "the one" when
you feel like "it's you and me against the world, baby:'
And I did. Nothing could separate us, and the miles
only made our moments count for more.
Our love story continued, but not in the typical way.
We held hands over Janet's hospital bed as she took the
breaths of her last days. We then held my dad's ashes
in those same hands not long after. We've struggled
to overcome grief and understand the sometimes
unfairness of life. But, we have always remained
absorbed in the magic-the
feeling of that first day
in the physio room, the knowing we are meant to be
together, the deep laughter and joy we experience each
and every day-and
the absolute blessing of what we
commonly refer to as "the best love story ever:' Not
because it's always been easy, but simply because it's
ours. (howisavemylife.com) •
MAY 2013
CURVE
75
ABUNDANT
ANN ARBOR
Move over, Berkeley. This university town in Michigan is
becoming the capital of the locavore food movement.
BY JILLIAN EUGENIOS
The state of Michigan is shaped like a mitten, and one
thing Michiganders will do when they first meet is to
hold up one hand and point to where they are from.
(If you're from Ann Arbor, you are somewhere around
the thumb.) My favorite thing about this ritualstrangers almost high-fiving each other in a mitten
show-and-tell-is
that it confirms my assumption that
Midwesterners are the friendliest people around.
The residents of Ann Arbor have taken the Midwestern
values of community and hard work and applied them to
the dinner table. Here, whenever it's possible, good food
is picked from the garden or bought at a farmers' market,
then shared with friends. While Michigan may get a bad
rap for its laws against gay adoption and gay marriage,
the tides are shifting, and Ann Arbor is leading the way
toward inclusiveness by making sure everybody, no matter
who they love, has a seat at the table-and a full plate.
Spend a few days in Ann Arbor and you'll see that
it's just the sort of place where everyone has a CSA
membership, a couple of goats out back, or a friend who
specializes in artisanal pickles. It isn't difficult to be a
farm-to-table restaurant when the farms are down the
street, and most of the chefs in Ann Arbor's kitchens
have a personal relationship with their meat, produce
and dairy suppliers.
Chef Brandon Johns of Grange, a local restaurant, can
often be seen shopping for the evening's specials at the
76
CURVE
MAY 2013
local farmers' market. Or there's Alex Young, the chef
at Zingerman's Roadhouse, who also happens to hold
a James Beard Foundation Award and grows his own
vegetables. His garden boasts more than 40 varieties of
heirloom tomatoes, and his summer event, the Heirloom
Tomato Dinner, is famous among the locals.
The Roadhouse belongs to a group of restaurants
and foodie shops owned by the Zingerman's group, an
Ann Arbor institution. Zingerman's began as a deli in
the 1980s and has expanded to include a cafe, a bakery,
a creamery and the Roadhouse, which specializes in
barbecue and has a custom-built pit on the premises.
If your visit falls on a Wednesday or a Saturday, grab
your (reusable, recyclable) tote bag and walk over to
Kerrytown, a historic district that hosts the Ann Arbor
farmers' market. It's the perfect place to rub shoulders
with the locals and pick up artisanal products, homemade
candies and some of the best-looking produce in the
region. Zingerman's Deli is close by, making it easy to fill
out the menu for an impromptu picnic.
Just across the road from the farmers' market is Aut
Bar, the local gay bar that offers a pool table and a dance
floor, as well as a respectable food menu and theme
nights (gay rodeo night, anyone?). Aut Bar's neighbor
is Common Language, a gay bookstore carrying LGBT
books, queer-centric gifts and the magazine you're
holding in your hands.
When it's not time to eat or dance,
spend the day enjoying downtown
Ann Arbor, which is full of sidewalk
cafes, boutiques, and shops. I stopped
in at Hollander's Decorative Papers
& Bookbinding Supplies because I'm
nerdy like that, and I wanted to see
its 1,600 kinds of paper. I also took a
bookbinding class to impress all my
new Ann Arbor friends, who seem
to trade in selfsufficiency and DIY
abilities.
If hands~on activities aren't your
thing, you could stop by Spiral Tattoo
and meet with Leo Zulueta, known as
the father of modern tribal tattooing.
Bring it back (with the wallet chain)!
If you'd rather see art on the wall,
instead of etched on your body, visit the
River Gallery in downtown Chelsea,
which is a short drive from Ann Arbor
and specializes in Michigan artists.
Before packing up, make one last
stop at Zingerman's Creamery to pick
up local cheeses for the folks back
home. While you're there, take one
of the popular cheese~making classes.
And as you learn about how to handle
cheese curds, just try to convince
yourself that happiness isn't living on a
farm in Michigan, stretching your own
homemade mozzarella.•
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MAY 2013
CURVE
79
TLOOKtSTARS
The Blush ofMay
Planets in sexy Taurus get our juices flowing.
BY CHARLENE LICHTENSTEIN
Aries (March 21-April 20)
TAURUS ~f§
f§
Sapphic Bulls are f§
f§
very comfortable f§
with their bodies and f§
dress to accessorize. f§
f§
They wear anything f§
well, even a burlap f§
sack, but tend to f§
f§
favor warm colored f§
garments that flatter f§
and accentuate their f§
f§
strong points These f§
gals tend to have f§
round faces and f§
f§
bull-like behaviors or f§
features Their nostrils f§
flare when they get f§
f§
angry They have also f§
been known to lounge f§
around the house f§
f§
looking like a lazy f§
Ferdinand smelling f§
the flowers However, f§
f§
as likable as Ferdinand f§
is, these gals are f§
by far my most f§
f§
favorite bulls f§
f§
f§
f§
f§
Charlene
Lichtenstein
istheauthorf§
f§
of HerScopes:
A Guide
to Astrologyf§
forLesbians
(Simon
& Schuster)-f§
f§
tinyur/.
com/HerScopes.
1/,
Nowavailable
asanebook.f§
Whisper words of love into her
ear and she will come running. Promise her the world
and set her heart on fire. But
words alone won't do the trick
this May, lambda Ram. All you
achieve is setting the stage for
your next big move. Keep talking but also backup your sweet
talk with something substantial.
(April 21-May 21)
80
CURVE
MAY 2013
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
You can make a grand entrance
this May. The fates place you in
the epicenter of power where
you press the flesh with more
than one powerbroker. What
will you do with all that wattage? Turn it on, let it shine and
create some heat. Push your
agenda forward, Sapphic Bull.
can catch in your net. Leos
love to be in the center of the
action. Just be sure that you
are a bit more strategic with
your attention and hobnob
with the social divas. The
summer is heating up and you
need to place yourself where
the bathing beauties roam.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
For those Vestal Virgos who
have quietly toiled in the
background waiting for their
moment to be recognized and
appreciated, this is your time
to shine. May brings accolades
and advancement to any ambitious effort. Consolidate your
power, prepare your strategy
and move full speed ahead.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
ship? If so, use the month to
make it stronger. Lavish her
with attention and adoration.
Are you on the hunt? If so,
use the month to expand your
usual territories. Join a new
organization, take up a new
hobby, check out a new hot
spot. Before you know it you
will be pretty hot yourself.
Geminis love to schmooze so
turn on your talent and use
your tongue wisely this May.
You can get who you want,
where you want. There is
intrigue going on behind the
scenes that you will be able to
infiltrate and defuse before any
harm is done. All barriers are
removed. So sugarcoat your
way to the top of the heap.
If you are feeling bored,
hemmed in and lazy this
May, energize your life with
new stimuli. Expand your
horizons by either travelling
or trying something totally
new and out of your comfort
zone. The world is calling,
Libra. Grab a girlfriend and
start exploring. If money is
tight, traveling with a group is
cheaper than traveling alone.
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Many a secret is revealed this
May so be prepared, Cancer. A
secret admirer makes herself
known. Her admission may be
especially surprising to youshe may even be one of your
best gal pals. Are you prepared
to make a move from the platonic to the passionate? Risks
are there. It could ruin a beautiful friendship or be the start of
something great.
Passionate and sexy Scorpios
are even more so this May.
There is something in the air
that makes almost every lady
a potential conquest. Is it your
flair? Is it your charm? Is it
your ability to delve deeply
into her eyes and tell her
everything she yearns to hear?
Whatever it is, pour it on, bottle
some of it and save a little for
the dry season.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
Swan dive into the social pool,
swim around and see who you
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Connection is the key this May.
Are you currently in a relation-
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
Attend to any longstanding
jobs that have been cluttering
up your inbox. It is time to shift
them proudly to the outbox
and get on with your life.
Begin to prepare for swimsuit
season by taking a close look
at revitalizing your exercise
and diet regime. There may
be an opportunity for some
improvement. Of course, if you
are especially health-minded,
swimsuits will be optional.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
How creative can you get this
May? According to the stars,
very creative! Aqueerians find
that fun, flirtation and frolic
come to them easily. Your
challenge is how to harness all
these good vibes and gracious
ladies into something substantive, meaningful and lasting.
Where can it lead? Almost
anywhere you choose.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
If you have been grappling
with family issues, this is the
time to face and solve them.
Not only will you find the
right way to handle difficult
relatives, you do so diplomatically, effectively and in a way
that takes care of problems
permanently. Instead of living
life for others, live for yourself
and your own happiness. After
all, affirmation begins at home,
little Guppie.
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