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Description
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ToC Taiwan Tomboys by Allister Chang (p38); Hitting the High Notes by Lyndsey D'Arcangelo (p50); Leader of Men by Dave Steinfeld (p52); Far From a Calamity by Kathleen Wilkinson (p54); Food, Wine & Femmes by Merryn Johns (p57); Cover: Nicole Pacent (p66); Cover Photo by Rodney Bursiel.
See all items with this value
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issue
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9
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Date Issued
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November 2013
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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C urve_Vol23_No9_November-2013_OCR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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WHAT'S
WEIRDER,
METALKING
TOYOU
ABOUT
YOUR
BUM,
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cottonelle
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G,ttone11e
*vs.comparable
leading
national
brand
products
NOVEMBER
2013
COVER PHOTO BY RODNEY BURSI EL
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
1
NOVEMBER
2013
10
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////A
IN EVERYISSUE
4
EDITOR'S NOTE
6
FEEDBACK
7
CURVETTES
8
THE GAYDAR
24
SCENE
80
STARS
17
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////A
TRENDS
REVIEWS
9
THIS IS WHAT A
LESBIAN LOOKS LIKE
29
Dallas businesswoman
Bri Crum.
10
BEAUTY
Beauty products with
ingredients fit for a feast.
14
HOT PICKS
16
LESBOFILE
07
SHE SAID
VIEWS
18
OUT IN FRONT
18
IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT... News from across the
country.
19
POLITICS
Orange Is the New Black is a
TV sensation, but what's it really
like for women behind bars?
By Victoria A. Brownworth
21
THE TWO OF US
Our monthly profile of lesbian
couples who live, love and
work together.
2
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
23
LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
25
TRUTH OR DARE
FILM
Kimberly Peirce, director of
Oscar-winning smash Boys
Don't Cry is back with Carrie.
By Rachel Shatto
31
MUSIC
The latest lesbian music sensation is Brooklynite, Krissy
Krissy. By Elizabeth Estochen
34
BOOKS
Cannes sensation Blue is the
Warmest Color began as a
graphic novel penned by a
lesbian. By Elizabeth Harper
36
TECH
Need help in the kitchen?
There's an app for that.
By Hassina Obaidy
STYLE
42
COURTENAY'S ACT TWO
Courtenay Semel invites us
into her home to display her
LGBT equality inspired decor.
By Laurie K. Schenden
46
DALLOWAY DARLINGS
Kim and Lexi, the power
couple behind New York's
best lesbian bar, invite us to
their Hamptons wedding.
By Merryn Johns
Curve's online selection of must-do, must-try, must-have extras.
VEG OUT
Been thinking of going vegetarian but don't
know where to begin? Choose Veg may be
the answer you've been looking for. Choose
Veg takes the guesswork out of kicking
your carnivorous habit by offering healthy
recipes, tips for vegetarians on a budget,
and how to substitute meat with tofu and
other protein products. From dairy-free and
flourless desserts to cheese-less pizzas-one
Curvette gave Choose Veg a go, read about
her experience on curvemag.com
WE WANNA DO BAD THINGS WITH YOU
It's official, HBO has announced that the seventh season of camp and sexy
gore-fest True Blood will be its last. So after faithfully tuning in for six seasons
of hot fang banger action, faerie godmothers and luscious lesbian vamps we
have a list of demands for our final spin through the Bon Temps Bayou. Read
our list of "10 Things We Want To See in the Final Season of True Blood"
on curvemag.com
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT
In a world where "liking" is the new "hello" and clicking or swiping
through other peoples' pictures has replaced-you know-actually
getting to know one another, it's time to find a social media
site that actually promotes, well, being social. We tested Come
Together, a new social media app, to try our hand at meeting
and perhaps actually even greeting a few new queers.
And how did it go? Read all about it on curvemag.com
THE FEARLESSONE
Baltimore's musical talent of over 20
years, Sonia Rutstein from Disappear Fear is back
with a tour and a new album, Broken Film. And
what great timing. Hot on the heels of marriage
equality and the second year anniversary of
Occupy Wall St., the single "Love Out Loud"
suggests that love is indeed all you need. Read
our interview with Sonia and sing along to this
timely Beatles-esque album!
UP
RONTtMERRYN'S
MEMO
curve
THE BEST-SELLING LESBIAN MAGAZINE
I-lot in the
l<ITCHEN
NOVEMBER
PUBLISHER
2013
» VOLUME
23 NUMBER
9
Silke Bader
Frances Stevens
FOUNDING PUBLISHER
EDITORIAL
Merryn Johns
Rachel Shatto
Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Jillian Eugenics, Sheryl Kay, Stephanie
Schroeder
EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Hassina Obaidy, Kristen Youngs
PROOFREADER Elizabeth Harper
EDITOR IN CHIEF
MANAGING EDITOR
COPY EDITOR
A
nyone who knows me knows
that I am a foodie. But that's
not the only reason I wanted
Curve to have an annual Food issue.
Food and the lives of women intersect
powerfully.
Most of us cherish the memory of
the matriarchs in our families and the
wonderful meals they created to sus~
tain and unite us. My mother had a
conflicted relationship with preparing
food and associated it with her duty
as a homemaker. Though the mantle
of leadership in the kitchen passed to
me when I was still in school, I took
to cooking with relish, seeing it not as
drudgery but as a creative outlet and a way to engage people. I became interested
in the provenance of ingredients at an early age; my first dish was created from
fish sticks, and I remember pondering their origins beyond the waxed paper carton
that lived in our freezer. My mother encouraged me to become a chef, but in the
end I chose language as the way to engage with the world. I've always cooked,
however. In fact, prior to sitting down and writing this note I was at my grill
roasting an eggplant for my famous homemade baba ganoush!
For me, food is creativity, companionship, sustenance and love. For some women,
food issues are connected with their social roles, with self-esteem, with the way
they view their bodies. For others, food is one oflife's simple pleasures. For many,
it raises political and ethical concerns-after
all, what we farm and eat has an
enormous impact on the environment.
However you view food, in this issue we celebrate the many queer women who
cook, create, write, blog, travel and toil in a culinary context. And for our cover girl
this month, I'm delighted to serve up more than a little eye candy in the delicious
form of thoughtful thespian Nicole Pacent.
As we sit down to Thanksgiving, give thanks to the pioneering women who are
increasingly taking what was once a traditional activity in a domestic setting and
excelling at it in a very competitive workplace environment. In so many ways, we
are all "top" chefs. Bon appetit! •
~·
MERZs
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
CURVE
NOVEMBER
DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
Jeannie Sotheran
Robin Perron
EVENTS & MEDIA RELATIONS COORDINATOR
ADVERTISING
CURVE'S MEDIA KIT
ourmediakit.com
NATIONAL SALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT
Sallyanne Monti (510) 545-4986, sallyanne@curvemag.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ART DIRECTOR
Kate Field
Kelly Nuti
PRODUCTION ARTIST
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Jenny Block, Adam L.
Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Traci
Dinwiddie, Maria De La 0, Elizabeth Estochen, Jill
Goldstein, Lisa Gunther, Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall,
Kim Hoffman, Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus,
Sassafras Lowrey, Jess McAvoy, Emelina Minero, Laurie
K. Schenden, Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson,
Allison Steinberg, Stella & Lucy, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull,
Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce, Tina Vasquez, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Alex Styles, Meagan Cignoli,
Sophia Hantzes, Janet Mayer, Syd London, Cheryl Mazak,
Maggie Parker, Robin Roemer, Leslie Van Stelten
CONTACT INFO
Curve Magazine
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Volume 23 Issue 9 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published
monthly (except for bimonthly January/February and July/
August) by Avalon Media, LLC, PO Box 467, New York NY 10034.
Subscription price: $59.90/year, $59.90 Canadian (U.S. funds
only) and $89.95 international (U.S.funds only). Returned checks
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(USPS 0010-355). Contents of Curve Magazine may not be
reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part, without
written permission from the publisher. Publication of the name
or photograph of any persons or organizations appearing,
advertising or listing in Curve may not be taken as an indication
of the sexual orientation of that individual or group unless
specifically stated. Curve welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited
manuscripts and artwork. Include SASEfor response. Lack of any
representation only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions
cannot be returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope
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Subscription Inquiries: Please write to Curve, Avalon Media LLC.,
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4
OPERATIONS
2013
CURVE
JUSTGOT
TOUGHER.
VIDEO
+
ANIMATION
+
INTERACTIVE 360 DEGREE VIEWS
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NOW AVAILABLE ON IPAD, ANDROID TABLET, FIRE KINDLE, AND NOOK
UP RONT /
FEEDBACK
haven't I heard of her before? Thanks for
bringing such an important talent to my
attention. -Mary L. Talenti, New York, N.Y.
AWW,SHUCKS
Curve has remained relevant throughout
the years. Consistently reaching out to all
generations of women, which is quite an
achievement especially in these times of
diversified social tribes and sub-cultures
that are fueled by all the various social media
outlets. It's hard to keep track of them.
Curve does an amazing job of bringing it
all together and I'm proud to be part of it.
-Ivana Ford
CREDITWHEREIT'S DUE
TIG IS TOPS
I'm a little embarrassed to say that I had
never heard ofTig Notaro before and wasn't
familiar with her face. But after I read your
article ["Tig Notaro Gets the Last Laugh;'
Vol. 23#8] I went online and watched everything I could find. She is hilarious. Why
It's a shame that the otherwise insightful
interview with Piper Kerman ["Inside Out"
Vol. 23#8] didn't properly credit the television wunderkind who's transformed [Kerman's]
prison memoir into a media sensation that's
brought the author, her important message
and some of the most terrific performances,
particularly by women, of any season to the
forefront. For the reecord, It's Jenji Kohan.
-Deborah Frost, New York, N.Y.
OPERATICINSPIRATION
Thank you so much for your great profile
of Patricia Racette! ["Down-to-Earth Diva"
Vol. 23#5] I love the romantic story about
how Patricia Racette and Beth Clayton fell
in love at the 1997 Santa Fe Opera production of La Traviata. Since I'm always looking
for new ways to celebrate my muses, I made
a Finger Puppet Movie Tribute to their love
story. -Gretchen Peterson, Portland, Ore.
DYNAMIC DIANA
I was thrilled to read of Diana Nyad's
triumphant swim from Havana to Florida.
As an older lesbian myself I find her refusal
to quit her dreams and succeed at all costs
very inspiring. She's right up there with
Martina Navratilova and Billie Jean King as
role models we can all be proud of. I look
forward to an article about Nyad in Curve.
EDITOR'SNOTE:
We've approached Ms. Nyad
for an interview and we're hopeful
that she'll share her story with
Curve readers.
POST
OF
THE
MONTH!
@i•)i■:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::H
WHATS
YOUR
FAVORITE
WINERY
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Rioja, Spain, tasty wine,
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Lesbian Wedding, 1968.
via The Wide Open
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Records. Courtesy of the
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual,
Transgender Historical
Society. "I'd know plenty
of women who'd consider
themselves married
before it was legal."
-Lynn Goldberg
Hunter Valley, New
South Wales, Australia,
known for both its
wine and women
9%
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Top 10 wine destinations
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HASSINAOBAIDY
ALLISTERCHANG
Editorial assistant Hassina
Obaidy is a freelance journalist
Allister is a Masters of Public
Policy student at the Harvard
and a social media maven in
San Francisco. She graduated
from San Francisco State
University with a print and
on line journalism degree and
Kennedy School, particularly
interested in LGBT issues
and China, and idealistically
determined to make our world
a better place. He holds a B.A.
in History from Tufts University
a minor in women and gender
studies. Always inspired,
she advocates for women
across the globe and hopes
to get their voices heard in a
meaningful way. "Working at
Curve has taught me more
about LGBT issues than any
course, or reading. I am
honored to write about LGBT
women and hear their inspiring
stories and share their work."
In this issue, she wrote about
Chasity Saleh and her food
truck, Betty Rocker Bakery.
and was a visiting student
at the University of Oxford.
He is also a queer man who
finds himself hanging out with
lesbians more often than not.
"It's really a pleasure to have
the opportunity to share my
Taiwanese lesbian friends'
stories with Curve readers, and
to build a bridge between two
of my favorite communities.
Whose dream isn't to be an
across-the-whole-world wing
(wo)man?"
ELIZABETH
HARPER
Elizabeth Harper is a writer,
editor, and full-time geek who
lives in Texas with two dogs
and a small library of books
and comics. She writes on
a myriad of different topics
online, where you can find her
covering tech, business, and
gaming at Tech/icious, Sprout
Insights, and WoW Insider.
In this issue she interviewed
graphic novelist Julie Maroh.
"Reading Maroh's Blue Is the
Warmest Color left me in
tears-in a good way-and
it was fantastic to have the
chance to talk with her about
where the story and the art
came from."
AMY DENESON
The adage goes, "You can't
go home again," but writer
Amy Deneson discovers
you certainly can enjoy
visiting. Since growing
up in Milwaukee, Wisc.,
the heartland city has
undergone a revitalization
that has transformed it into
a sensational Great Lakes
getaway. The cooler-by-thelake city boasts delicious fare,
lakeshore fun, and LGBTfriendly hospitality. Read about
her happy hours spent in the
Beer Capital of America on
page 77. Amy's writing has
also appeared in The New York
Times, Huffington Post, Salon,
and Hemispheres magazine.
She is currently writing her first
book. (amydeneson.com)
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
7
NDS/
THE GAYDAR
p
I
!~e~ o~~!e~wRone? Let our gaydar help
~ you decide who's hot, who's not, who's
~ shaking it and who's faking it in lesboland.
~
BY RACHEL SHATTO
~
Is Chris Christie our secret lesbro? Well
if his recent signature on a law banning
gay-to-straight conversion therapy is any
indication, he just might be!
Mistresses bombshell
Jes Macallan (aka Josslyn
Carver) loves us in real life
too and shows her support
in the NOH8 campaign
Amber Tamblyn joins
the cast of Two and Half
Men as the long-lost
lesbian daughter of Charlie
Sheen's (former) character.
Oh no, does that mean we
have to start watching this
Oh say it ain't so!
Laura Prepon aka Alex Vause
is leaving Orange is the New
Black in season two
Way to kill off 50%
of your lesbian
population, Under
the Dome. Alice's
(Samantha Mathis)
untimely demise
effectively brings the
Sapphic population
of Chester's Mill to
I
In a love story
42 years in the
making, Lily
Tomlin and Jane
Wagner are finally
getting hitched
Santana has a
new love interest
on Glee, The
X-Factor's Demi
Lovato. We are so
ready for that ...
ahem ...duet
Lesbian megastar
Jane Lynch gets a
well-deserved star on
the Hollywood Walk
of Fame
8
CURVE
Jaime Murray
continues on
her campaign to
become the most
lezzie-desired gal
in Hollywood, this
time in her turn
as the Sapphic
sanguinista Gerri
Dandridge in
Fright Night 2
NOVEMBER
Step as;de ... well. ..evecyooe. ]
Mary Lambert kills it at the
VMA's with her duet of "Same
Love." And then turns around
and releases the adorably
lesbotastic video for
"She Keeps Me Warm"
2013
l
After seven long years Joan Jett and
the Blackhearts are back with their
new album Unvarnished. We love
Joan Jett's rock 'n' roll
A,t;st EmUy NUand g ;ves es
something we never knew we
always needed: Orange is the
New Black paper dolls. How
many seconds do you think it
will take before we start making
them kiss each other? Zero-the
answer is zero seconds
NDS!BEAUTY
POPPYSEED
APPLE
The Gentle Poppy Seed Exfoliator from
Tilth cleanses and revitalizes your skin with
nature's poppy seeds and jojoba esters
Meet lndie Lee, a brain tumor survivor who became
determined to fight environmental toxins by creating
an eco-aware, all-natural, organic line of beauty
blended into a soft yellow corn kernel
meal base. Gently remove dull and flaky
skin when combined with your favorite
cleanser or used with a little water.
($38, tilthbeauty.com)
products. Formulated with the stem cells of a rare
Swiss apple, her Swiss Apple Facial Serum combines
rich proteins, phytonutrients and metabolites to
boost cell production and protect your skin from
environmental stress. ($130, indie/ee.com)
Feed Your
Face!
·Beauty products with ingredients
fit for a holiday feast.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
PEPPERMINT
Give your pucker pep with
BERRY
this cranberry fruit-extract-infused
anti-aging Berry Extract Toner from
Tilth soothes, enhances and neutralizes
skin from environmental toxins and
Miracle Skin Transformer Lip
Rewind Advanced Peptide Lip
Treatment SPF 20. Peppermint
and advanced peptides boost
your lips' volume and moisture
content in the tastiest way.
Available in five shades to
suit all skin tones.
($24, sephora.com)
HONEY
The nectar of the Manuka Tree in New
Zealand is known for its delicate flavor and
health benefits. Rich in proteins, vitamins
and minerals, Manuka honey hydrates
and protects skin from free radicals and
signs of aging. Incorporated into Miracle
Skin Transformer Revival Mud by Sarah
McNamara, this mineral-enriched mud
mask sourced from spring-fed lakes in
Eastern Europe promotes cellular turnover
by 92 percent and stimulates the skin's
free radicals. ($32, tilthbeauty.com)
natural collagen. ($38, sephora.com)
CARROT
Sappho Cosmetic's Jennifer foundation is
preserved with essential oils and packed
with antioxidants. This vegan, gluten-free
liquid mineral foundation suits medium
skin tones. Its organic ingredients include
aloe juice, jojoba oil, rooibos, calendula,
green tea,rosemary extracts and carrot
oil. Lesbian-inspired and named for
As delicious as a glass of wine, this
Lip Gloss Stick by Pur Minerals keeps lips looking
plump and luscious. Plus, rich emollients and Vitamin E
condition and help hydrate lips. ($15, purminerals.com)
10
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
L Word actor Jennifer Beals.
($52, sapphocosmetics.com)
Express yourself with the Nokia Lumia 1020™
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©2013 AT&T Intellectual Property. All rights reserved. AT&T.Globe logo and other marks are trademarks of AT&TIntellectual Property. All other marks are the property of their respective owners.
IN LAS VEGAS, EVERYONE'S WELCOME.
ESPECIALLY
THE
LGBT
COMMUNITY.
In fact, Vegas is one of the top destinations in the country for gay travelers.
And it's no wonder, considering all the fabulous ways you can spend your trip.
--fa--
----0---lt's time to celebrate! And what better place
than Las Vegas? Plan your next adventure
and experience the best accommodations,
dining, shopping and nightlife that you'll find
anywhere. And don't forget the top-notch
entertainment.
No place matches Las Vegas
for shows and events. Check out the new
Veronic Voices at Baily's, a powerful tribute
to the greatest singers of our time and
experience a true Vegas classic - the showgirls
of Jubilee! at Baily's Las Vegas. Then, let
loose with the sexy Zumanity by Cirque du
Soleil® at New York-New York and catch iconic
performers including Shania Twain and Celine
Dion at The Colosseum inside Caesars Palace.
The best entertainment
is always waiting for
you in Las Vegas!
--8-Hungry? Make a reservation at any of Las Vegas'
incredible
restaurants. You'll find delectable
dishes from the likes of celebrity chefs Mario
Batali, Wolfgang Puck and Gordon Ramsay.
Make it dinner and a show by catching the
fabulous and fun Rock of Ages at The Venetian!
Later, make the most of your evening by
venturing into one of Vegas' many nightlife
options. Be sure to check out the new Krave
Massive downtown, the largest gay venue in
the world with huge dance rooms, open bars,
a martini and VIP lounge, and other amenities.
--e-And
when
you finally
feel sleepiness
approaching,
you'll have plenty of LGBTfriendly accommodations
to choose from,
such as Paris, Vdara and Caesars Palace.
With
Pride
concierges
at Encore
and
Wynn Las Vegas, dedicated
specifically
to
making your trip amazing, you'll find the
most amazing spas in Las Vegas to help
you reenergize yourself for the next night
of fun.
--40-Need a new outfit for your second evening?
There are hundreds of shopping options, from
the world-class designers in The Shops at
Crystals to bargain shopping at the Las Vegas
Premium Outlets downtown.
NO MATTER HOW YOU SPEND YOUR TIME IN VEGAS,
THERE'S FINALLY A GETAWAY THAT GETS YOU.
Visit LasVegas.com/gaytravel
to book flights, hotels, vacation packages and more.
NDS/
HOT PICKS
LIFEIS GRAND
Grand Marnier has outdone themselves
with their Signature Collection No. 2
Raspberry Peach. Rich in flavor and
with a fruity bouquet, notes begin
with raspberry and end with a
powerful punch of peach
and citrus. Just add simple
syrup and a twist of lime.
($40, grand-marnier.com)
WORK OF ART
Flavor infused vodka is all
the rage, but Van Gogh
Vodka takes this succulent
trend to new heights with
their Dutch Caramel flavor.
Buttery, with hints of vanilla
and coffee, it's smooth enough
to drink on the rocks and will
elevate any sweet cocktail.
As an added sweetener, Van
Gogh Vodka has partnered
with the Give a Damn
Campaign for their Cocktails
Without Prejudice contest.
For details and to enter visit
their Facebook page.
($27, vangoghvodka.com)
HOL DAY
SP RT
HAVE MERCY!
Holidays often mean indulging
in a few extra drinks, which can
lead to morning after misery.
Kick your hangover to the
curb with Mercy, a tasty citrus
flavored beverage infused
with the powerful antioxidant
glutathione. Mercy's unique
blend of amino acids,
antioxidants and vitamins
helps boost your body's
natural defenses and rid your
body of toxins. Pick up a 12
pack of their special rainbow
Pride edition and a portion of
the proceeds will be donated to
GLAAD.($33, drinkmercy.com)
Celebrate the season
with these tantalizing tipples.
BY RACHEL SHATTO
BRIGHT& BOLD
Crafted in Amsterdam from cocoa leaves
imported from Bolivia, Agwa de Bolivia is a
brightly glowing green liqueur boasting
36 natural herbs and botanicals
including ginseng, green tea,
lavender and guarana. The flavor
is surprisingly mild: herbal,
lightly sweetened with a hint
of earthiness. Serve on ice
with club soda to create
an Agwa Fresca, or with
an energy drink for
an A-Bomb. ($32,
agwabuzz.com)
SOPHISTICATEDSIPPER
Despite its hard partying reputation, fine tequila should be sipped, and it
doesn't get more worthy of savoring than Maestro Dobel Tequila. This ultra
smooth spirit is sourced from 100 percent blue agave, double distilled,
and aged in Hungarian White Oak barrels in Jalisco, Mexico. The result is a
pleasantly surprising fruity and subtly woody palate. ($55, maestrodobel.com)
NIGHT KAP
If you are unfamiliar with
Pisco, a South American
spirit created from the double
distillation of wine, Kappa makes
for an excellent introduction.
Created from organic grapes grown
the Elqui Valley in Chile, Kappa's
flavors blend the sweetness of grapes,
the earthiness of moss and the tingle of
alcohol. While it's mild enough to drink on
the rocks, it's best served with just about any
fruit juice. ($35, kappapisco.com)
14
CURVE
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2013
CARIBBEAN EQUALITY & LEADERSHIP CRUISE
FEBRUARY 1-8, 2014
FORT LAUDERDALE•
GRAND TURK•
SAN JUAN• ST. THOMAS/ST.JOHN•
HALF MOON CAY• FORT LAUDERDALE
NDS!GOSSIP
i7Es~oF1LE
~
~
Amanda's Sapph1c secret, Lady Gaga gets
vocal and Billie Jean King laughs off rumors.
~
BY JOCELYN VOO
Undercover Lovers?
If you've been paying any attention to the
press, you've watched the slow devolution
a
of Amanda Bynes la Lindsay Lohan. Turns
out that Bynes, who these days is racking
more courtroom time than television
airtime, has secretly been having lady
In fact, Gaga herself had recently been
criminally targeted by Russian politician
Vitaly Milonov, the man who penned St.
Petersburg's anti-gay laws, as "promoting
sodomy, lesbianism, bisexuality and transgenderism among minors."
with King zinging him in straight sets in a
historic win for feminists everywhere.
But now rumors have spouted that the
famed match was rigged. A country club
[her] vagina," a source tells Radar Online
that Bynes had a months-long relationship
with her female N.Y.C.neighbor. "A couple
Mo' money, mo' problems- particularly if
you're a high-profile celebrity undergoing
worker, now 79, told ESPNthat he witnessed
a midnight plan hatch between Riggs
and Mafia members, where Riggs would
throw the game in exchange for having his
$100,000 gambling debt wiped clean.
When told these rumors, King scoffed at
the idea. "This story is just ridiculous," she
told the New York Daily News. "I was on
the court with Bobby, and I know he was
divorce in an equal distribution state. How-
not tanking the match."•
times she even had more than one woman
in bed with her," the source adds.
Though it's unclear whether Bynes's
dabbling in the pink pool is just another
ever, Jane Lynch is making the best out of
a tough situation, telling Access Hollywood
that her California divorce-and equal
division of their assets-with ex Dr. Lara
Embry is going well. "It's just money," the
actor explains simply. (Melissa Etheridge,
romances under the radar.
While she's been linked with a few males
over the years and very publicly tweeted
that she wants rapper Drake to "murder
symptom of her going into the black hole
of burned-out starlets, we'd like to think
that perhaps after the 5150 hold wears off,
this might be the one thing that stays.
Music to Our Ears
From her infectious dance tunes to her
WTF costume choices, Lady Gaga has had
all eyes on her since she came into the
spotlight. But now her politics rival her
fashion and lyrics. Mother Monster has
joined the ranks of high-profile celebrities
publicly decrying anti-LGBT violence in
Russia, shooting off a series of solidarity
tweets like "Russian LGBTsyou are not
alone. We will fight for your freedom."
16
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
While your lyrics have always been a
selling point, your words now ring even
more true. Sing on, fight on, Gaga.
Class and Sass
are you listening?)
Hat-tip to Lynch for her real-life grace
and poise ...as long as her character on
Glee maintains the barb and venom.
Game, Set, Match
Of the great female athletes, tennis legend
Billie Jean King is easily in the top tier. But
in addition to her many Grand Slam titles,
King also won a match that resonated with
more than just the sports world. In 1973,
King, at the top of her game, was pitted
against former champ (and male chauvinist) Bobby Riggs in a Battle of the Sexes-
FRAZER HARRISON/GETTY
(HEARD), CHRIS HASTON/NBC
(PLAZA), DIYAH PERA/THE CW (DAY), ANDREW MACPHERSON
(PINK)
-I
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z
C
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Cf)
::r::
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Cf)
0
st
PROFILE
Analouisa Valencia
SouthCarolina> TheSpecialOlympics
Analouisa Valencia is destined for great things.
The current holder of the Miss Spartanburg/
Lyman beauty pageant title competed for Miss
South Carolina, and should she have won, her
next stop would have been Miss America.
Nothing is impossible, according to this
19-year-old college sophomore, who is of
African American and Mexican heritage and
grew up in the Deep South.
If she ever did face racial prejudice, it did nothing to daunt her sunny optimism. And then, there's
the fact that she came out in the ninth grade.
Valencia has also been tested in other ways.
For years, she trained to be a gymnast, and had
outstanding potential until she was injured five
years ago. But instead of leaving the sport entirely,
now she serves as a coach for the Special
Olympics and works closely with athletes in her
area in preparation for state competitions.
Some may wonder if the pageant scene isn't
just an anachronism, harkening back to the days
when a woman's worth was determined solely
by her looks, but Valencia says there is much
more to it. For her, it's about building confidence, displaying talent, meeting new friends
and encouraging a greater awareness of the
community programs that she's involved with.
And the fact that she's an out lesbian has been
no issue whatsoever.
"All of the contestants, the local executive
directors, the Miss South Carolina officials, and
the Miss America officials have been nothing
less than encouraging, proud and supportive,"
she says.
To those who are still wary of getting involved
with LGBT issues, Valencia says the time is now.
"Change does not wait," she says. "It's made to
happen. It takes courage, strength, determination-and
a little bit of rule breaking. You are
capable of changing the world." -Sheryl Kay
18
CURVE
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2013
~
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~
~
~
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~
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~
INCASE
YOU
MISSED
IT...
I !~~r/~~~l~~~,~~~~]e~~9~4~£~£!bian
~
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~
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~
moms. The plot will follow the main character, Charlie,
as she becomes friends with another kid who
has gay parents. Representatives from the Disney
Channel say that the episode "was developed to be
relevant to kids and families around the world and to
reflect themes of diversity and inclusiveness."
•••
~I~~~~ -~~~~.-~~:-I~-~;~~ -i~
••••
••••••
~~;I~~~~~;~ -~~I;~-~-~~~~:~~~~~
Jail In Florida She was an 18-year-old
high school senior when she was
~ first charged with a felony-lewd and
~ lasc1v1ousbattery on a minor-for
~ dating a 14-year-old freshman girl
~
Hunt has always ma1nta1nedthat
~
the relat1onsh1pwas consensual
~
and has received support from
~
across the country calling for all the
~ charges against her to be dropped
~ Prosecutors 1nit1allyoffered Hunt
~
a couple of plea bargains, but her
~ defense has turned them both
1//2 down However, Hunt Is now back
~ behind bars, awaItIng trial, with her
~ ball revoked The parents of the
~~1//- alleged vIctIm told prosecutors that
~
Hunt had violated the terms of her
~ ball by contacting her ex-girlfriend,
~ allegedly text messaging naked
~
photographs to her Hunt now faces
~
add1t1onalcharges of "transmission
~
of material harmful to a minor by
~
electronic equipment,,
~
1//2
~
~
THE
RIDGEDALE
CHURCH
OF
Christ In Tennessee gave Linda
1/~1//,
/,
Cooper the choice of either leaving
1//2 th e congrega t I0n she hadb een part
~
of for decades, or saying that her
~ lesbian daughter's "lifestyle" was a
~ sin against God Cooper's daughter
0
•••••
and has been with her partner
for 11years They were married In
Maryland. Kat has been f1ght1ngher
employer and the city to provide
health benefits for her partner, a
fight she won when Collegedale,
a suburb of Chattanooga, became
the first city In Tennessee to offer
benefits to same-sex spouses of
government employees It was
through the news coverage of that
win that the church discovered
Linda's daughter Is a lesbian Linda
chose to side with her daughter and
has left the church
APORTLAND,
ORE.,
CAB
DRIVER
who kicked a lesbian couple out of
his car after yelling homophobic
slurs at them has lost his Job Kate
Neal said that she and her g1rlfr1end,
Shanako Devoll, had been showing
affection In a Broadway Cab on their
way home when the driver said, "You
can't be gay In my cab," and left
them on the side of an interstate In
the middle of the night The City of
Portland's Regulatory D1v1s1on
has
issued a statement that the driver,
Ahmed Egal, has had his his taxi
permit revoked and that the taxi
company has been fined $1,000
0
range Is the New Black was one of
the hottest TV series of the summer. The story of women in prison
has always titillated viewers. Men like the
idea of women caged up, and lesbians like the
idea of an all-female closed society.
OITNB provides that. We see the relationships, the bonds, the lovers, the families. We see
women creating new lives for themselves on the
inside-one that feels, for most of them, more
real than what they had on the outside.
But for all its verisimilitude, OITNB can
take the viewer only so far. Even though the
series is based on a true story, to tell that story
you need a certain amount of quiet and a whole
lot of nonstop drama, neither of which is really
what prison life is like.
I know, because I've spent some time in
actual prisons. It's never quiet and every
day has a level of tedium that is hard for the
inmates to bear. The noise and the boredom
are part of the punishment.
I was in high school the first time I was
arrested at a political protest. A group of
us-all
teenagers-were
loaded into the
same police van. We were all put in the same
holding cell. For some reason it wasn't scary,
maybe because we were all together, maybe
because we didn't really understand what
had just happened. We were kids.
After that, I was arrested many times for
political protests, and it always seemed more
enraging than scary. We weren't criminals.
We were political protesters. None of us ever
thought we'd spend more than a night in jail.
And we rarely did.
I was also arrested as a teenager for running away from home. That was different. I
was held in juvenile detention for five days
before being arraigned because my parents
thought I would learn from that experience
and not run away again. I think I was awake
the entire time. It was violent and dangerous,
degrading and ugly, dirty and smelly and
most of all loud.
As a journalist, I also interviewed prison-
ers-men
and women, mostly murderers.
Among them was Aileen Wuornos, the
convicted lesbian serial killer, whom I interviewed for QW. Her face was on the cover,
staring out belligerently. Yet in person she
seemed sweet but lost.
I wrote about lesbians on death row for
this magazine, The Advocate, and the Village
Voice. I wrote about HIV in prisons for The
Advocate and interviewed men living with
the disease in that dangerous environment.
I wrote about rape in prisons. I wrote-and
write still-about the costs of illiteracy, which
lead so many people directly to prison because
job options are limited for the functionally
illiterate in America; widespread computerization now demands certain reading skills.
And I have written about an issue that gets
little mention, but which the Department of
Justice (DOJ) states is huge: 70 percent of
the people in prison were once in the foster
care system.
No country has more people in prison
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
19
st
POLITICS
than the U.S. According to the NAACP's
criminal justice fact sheet, the U.S. has 5
percent of the world's population, but 25
percent of the world's prisoners.
According to the DOJ, there are 3.5 million
prisoners incarcerated in federal, state, and
local prisons in the U.S. Another 8 million
are on parole or probation. Those are mostly
men, but the DOJ puts the number of women
prisoners at 205,000. In addition, there are 1
million women on parole or probation.
That number seems small, compared
with the number of men, but it's on the
rise. According to a study by the Institute
for Women and Criminal Justice (IWCJ),
between 1977 and 2004, the number of
women in prison increased by 757 percent.
Yet between 1988 and 2009, crime has
dropped overall in the U.S. by 25 percent,
according to the DOJ. Between 2009 and
now, the number of women in prison has
literally doubled.
A study by the IWCJ explains why the
incarceration of women has gone up while
crime has gone down. A combination of
tougher sentencing laws and a record number of drug offenders is putting more women
behind bars-like Piper and Alex in OITNB. Mandatory sentencing has added to the
increase in incarcerations.
The World Health Organization (WHO)
report "Women's Health in Prisons: Correcting Gender Inequity;' points to several prison
issues that are specific to women. Like the
ACLU, the WHO targets sexual violence as a
significant problem. In 2003, the Prison Rape
Elimination Act was passed, but it didn't end
sexual abuse and rape in prisons or among
parolees on the outside.
Pregnant women prisoners are frequently
shackled while giving birth, and only nine
states have nursery facilities or a place where
a woman can give birth. Juvenile facilities for
girls, like the one I was in briefly, are rife with
violence and sexual abuse.
The WHO notes that female prisoners
are far more likely to have mental illness
than their male counterparts, are less likely to
get treatment, and are more likely to be told
they are "faking" illness while incarcerated.
The WHO report also notes that nutrition,
exercise, and hygiene for women prisoners is
sub-par in all prisons. Hygiene issues in women's prisons have led to outbreaks of MRSA, a
20
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
difficult-to-treat bacterial infection.
Because most women in prison are in
for lesser charges-drugs
or prostitutionthey revolve in and out of the system more
quickly than men, so they have less contact
with prison administrators, and also have
less access to services that might help them
once they are on the outside. According to
the ACLU prisoners' rights study, close to 90
percent of women in the prison system have
been victims of sexual abuse and/ or domestic violence. That makes them much more
No country has
more people in
prison than the U.S.
''
vulnerable to the vicissitudes of the prison
system than men are.
There are 170 women's prisons in the U.S.
Because the number of prisons specifically for
women is so small (women have been housed
separately from men since 1870), women are
often separated from their families.
Both the ACLU and the WHO recommend that women not be sent to prison for
drug offenses, which account for about 40
percent of all women's incarcerations, but
that alternatives be sought.
OITNB portrays prison as a place rife
with lesbians and lesbianism. An ABC report
done by Diane Sawyer of ABC News in 2004
highlighted the familial and romantic relationships Sawyer witnessed while inside the
Metro State Prison for Women in Atlanta.
But in 2009, administrators of the largest
prison for women in Virginia, the Fluvanna
Correctional Center for Women (population 1,200), rounded up prisoners who they
knew were lesbians or suspected of having
lesbian relationships, as well as prisoners
who looked or acted butch, and segregated
them from the rest of the prison population
in an effort to quell illegal sexual activity in
the prison. The section of the prison where
these women were housed was called the
"butch wing" and the "studs wing:'
The story was investigated and reported
by the Associated Press and the Huffington
Post, but warden Barbara Wheeler denied
that segregation had ever taken place.
In Pennsylvania, women prisoners are not
allowed to receive lesbian books, because it
is alleged that reading such material will "rile
them up;' as one prison official told me.
OITNB has put women prisoners in the
spotlight, if only briefly. But in real life, there
is little connection between those prisoners and people like us. Yet if the number of
incarcerated women continues to escalate,
as it has in the past four years, soon most
of us will indeed know someone in prison.
Shouldn't we care what happens to these
women? Because, as Natasha Lyonne's sexy
character Nicky ( also in prison for drugs)
says in OITNB, prison "is just like the
Hamptons. Only fucking horrible:'•
VIEWS/
TWO OF
Lisa&
Virginia
BY MERRYN JOHNS
ulinary power couple Lisa
C
Ekus, 56, a literary agent, and
Virginia Willis, 46, a writer and
culinary TV producer, met in
2006 over a book proposaland, like a slow-cooked dish, a deliciously
meaningful partnership developed.
MET
THEY
HOW
LISA: I work specifically in the culinary
field, representing cookbook authors, food
writers and chefs. Virginia sent me her first
book proposal, for Bon Appetit, Y'all: Three
Generations of Southern Cooking. It was
the cleanest proposal for a cookbook I had
ever received. We were both going to the
Greenbrier Food Writers' Conference that
year and I made an appointment to meet
with her.
IMPRESSIONS
FIRST
VIRGINIA: We agreed to meet at the
conference to discuss whether she would
take me on as a client or not. Then, we
actually wound up on the bus together
from the airport to the hotel. I was terrified. She had this incredible reputation
as a powerful force in culinary publishing
and promotion. I had heard she was less
than receptive to overzealous stalker-type
cookbook author wannabes. So I was really
quiet and shy. She thought I was being
standoffish.
LISA: Virginia's initial appeal to me was
strictly business-as an extraordinary
food writer. She was beautiful as well:
Chanel red lipstick, pearls and a way with
a sentence that made me determined to
represent her on the spot. I didn't know
until later that she had made me her first
choice to represent her and never even
approached another agent.
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
21
s1TWO OF US
HOW
THEY
GOT
TOGETHER
change everything. I have
and motivated Virginia is, along
too. I appreciate her drive and
LISA: Our relationship was
never been kissed like that in
with her ability to write a sweet
commitment. Most of all, I have
all business, and grew into a
my life.
sentence around anyone and
enormous respect for her in-
anything. She creates almost
tegrity. She doesn't just follow
friendship, which deepened
over the years. When I first met
TAKING
ITFURTHER
all her own success. We make
the money-she
Virginia, she was in a long-term
LISA: Over the course of
the business deals around that
talent. It's not just about the hot
relationship, and I was married
the next few years we both
success.
chef off the next reality show.
[to a man] and had no inkling
extricated ourselves from our
follows the
I would fall in love with her. I
relationships. The decisions
ONRESOLVING
CONFLICT
LISA: That Virginia is the cre-
have always loved the wisdom
were hard and painful for both
VIRGINIA: We don't fight much.
ative and in-front person, and
and friendship of women, but
of us. But we were determined
We're apart just enough that
I'm the business and behind-
never considered that I was
to be together and had enor-
the phrase "Absence makes
the-scenes, works brilliantly
gay. I still believe and feel that
mous patience.
the heart grow fonder" makes
for us. The mutual respect we
it is who Virginia is as an indi-
sense. It's a little cliche, but
have for each other's strengths
vidual that made me fall in love
HOW
THEY
COLLABORATE the truth
with her. And, I have to say,
VIRGINIA: If a company wants
history, we're very apprecia-
to discuss opportunities and
we laugh that I "took to it like
to work with me, it goes
tive of each other and our
challenges, makes us a power
a duck to water." My comfort
through the Lisa Ekus Group.
relationship.
couple. We have each other's
level with this woman is far
Anything that involves a con-
greater than I have ever felt
tract goes through the agency.
LISA: I'm far more fiery and
with the men in my life.
I bring them work and they
quick to snap. Virginia is
bring me work. It's mutually
patient and thoughtful. She
WHO
MADE
THE
FIRST
MOVE
beneficial. I am her sounding
knows exactly how to defuse
LISA: Clear parameters on
VIRGINIA: Well, that's compli-
board for many things, as well.
pretty much any situation so
life and work have to be set.
cated. I was gay and, as far as
We keep confidence, since I am
I don't blow up. We talk it all
Virginia has these expressions:
I knew, she was straight. Then,
a client as well, but, at the end
through. My only frustration,
"I need to talk to my Agent
we slowly started flirting. After
of the day, we are just good
and we laugh at this a lot, is
Lady," or "I need to talk to my
months of cautious flirting, I
together.
that I'm Northern and speak
Girlfriend." That clues us both
told her I wanted to kiss her,
and she said, "Well, go ahead."
LISA: We work together pretty
of it is that, with our
and skills, and our willingness
best interests at heart.
ADVICE
TOLESBIAN
COUPLES
WORKING
TOGETHER
quickly and without filtering
in as to the type of conversa-
much of anything I say. Virginia
tion and the results needed.
As I kissed her, I sat on my
much daily. We are part of mak-
is Southern, far more thought-
Agent Lady is about business,
hands. I was scared to death,
ing most of her deals, advising
ful, and edits her words before
and Girlfriend is "Hear me out
but it was also so I would
on new book projects, pitching
she speaks. I still bite my
and comfort me. Don't try to
temper my romantic moves.
her for talent gigs, and overall
tongue and try desperately to
solve it or charge for it." Not
consultation on her career. The
not interrupt her long thought
everything has the resolution
LISA: We never looked back.
piece that many people don't
process. And I've benefited
you want or hope for, but so
And that first kiss did indeed
see is how fiercely determined
from learning to be far more
much does. Focus on that. Kiss
patient! Do we have differences
each other good morning and
of opinions sometimes? Sure.
good night each and every day.
Do we work it out? Always.
VIRGINIA: Of course, some-
22
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
WHY
THEY
WORK
SOWELL
TOGETHER
times we make mistakes, and
VIRGINIA: I slow her down and
office home, but we acknowl-
we might wind up taking the
she speeds me up. I can share
edge it and try to make it better
with her what [other] authors
the next day. There have been
know and don't know, what
a lot of folks that have been
they are thinking, and how
dubious about the success of
they might respond to certain
our relationship, but I really
things. I appreciate her creativ-
knew very early on that we had
ity with business, connecting
something special-I just need-
people and making things
ed to be patient enough so that
work. I respect her immensely
it would all work out. (lisaekus.
because she is a hard worker,
com, virginiawillis.com) •
VIEWS/
Here Come the
Waterworks
Keep calm and carry on.
ev uPsT1cK
& 01PsT1cK
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: Every time
my girlfriend and I have sex, when she
makes me "go"-1 pee. I don't know what's
going on! -Pee Pee Patty
/////////////////////////////AW///////#//////////////////,W///////////////////////////////////////////////
Lipstick: Well, I do. Are you
sure it's pee, darlin? Maybe
you're just "Old Faithful"
when it comes to ejaculation.
It's been known to catch
women by surprise-like a
flash flood in Arizona. Do
some Googling, then some
ogling, to see if your girlie
geyser is simply showing off.
Dipstick: Lipstick is G-spoton, PPP!You're not peeing,
friend, you're spouting
elusive lesbian love juicefemale ejaculate. Like you,
many women who ejaculate think they're peeing,
because it's kept hidden
from us by the male-dominated health industry. Just
to reassure you that you're
not urinating, you might
want to know that although
some women do have urine
leakage during sex, it's often
during foreplay, not at the
moment of orgasm. Don't
be thrown off by the name,
either. Female ejaculate may
trickle or spurt. It may be a
few drops or a flood. It may
come before, during or after
orgasm. It's not the same for
everyone, but one thing is
certain-it's not pee.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
I don't know how to label
myself. This is going to
sound horrible, but I don't
really understand bisexuality. I always felt that a
person should just choose.
Now that I am more active in
the LGBT community, I realize it may not be that simple.
I always considered myself
straight. A penis turns me on
and, so far, a vagina has yet
to. I have never been sexually attracted to a woman. I
simply find them beautiful
and great to talk to. But
lately, I notice that I've
been flirting with women.
I might even kiss one. I am
a virgin, so I've never been
with a man. I am an actor, so
I have kissed guys and girls
on stage, but it was only
in character. I was really
turned on when kissing the
guy, but only felt something
once for a woman. Under
the circumstances, I'm
not so sure if those were
my feelings or the character's. I'm a bit confused. I
would be comfortable in a
relationship, but the sex part
makes me feel strange, like I
wouldn't like it. It makes me
feel terrible, because if I act
on my attractions, I may not
mean it. Like, say, there's a
girl I'm talking to, and then
halfway down the line I'm
like, Nope, I like dudes. I just
don't want to do something
stupid and hurt someone. I
think I'm just going to have
to put myself out there and
find out, but I'm confused.
Help, please -Messed
Up Missy
Lipstick: Wow. While reading
this question, suddenly I feel
like I am sitting here with a
perm, in old-school Guess
jeans and Jelly sandals,
avoiding my algebra homework. It's a blast from my
past. If I'd had the courage,
I could've written this letter
back in high school. Your
experiences, your curiosity,
your fears were my own. In
light of that, I'd like to give
you a big high-five for your
bravery. Who says you have
to decide on a label now-or
at all? Labels, shmabels.
I've got great news for you:
Limboland is temporary.
Eventually, you will be pulled
in one direction or the other.
When that happens, it won't
necessarily mean you'll be
exclusively straight or gay.
Bisexuality is real, and sexuality is a swinging pendulum.
If you do figure it out today,
give yourself permission to
change your mind tomorrow.
That is the wonderful thing
about sexuality, when it's
fully realized. It's yours and
no one else's. My advice to
you now is to be open and
LIPSTICK+OIPSTI
stay curious. Likewise, be
gentle with yourself, and
don't judge others,
either. Tread lightly when
someone wants to get
serious, and keep the lines
of communication open. Be
honest with them, speak your
truth, and go with the flow.
Dipstick: Lipstick, you had
a perm? Times sure have
changed in the 20 years since
you came out. But one thing
hasn't. Sex and sexual attraction are puzzling, especially
if you're a virgin. I'm not sure
how, but some of us do figure
it out before our cherries are
pitted. But for most people,
it takes being involved in
real-life relationships before
the essence of our sexual orientation is revealed. Here's a
tip. Don't think about vaginas
or penises or what turns you
on-but, rather, think about
the people you want to get
close to. Who do you want
to kiss? Spend your Saturday
night with? Take to the prom
(even if you're too chicken
to ask)? At this point in your
life, it really sounds like you
could be happy doing that
with both boys and girls. Like
Lipstick says, quit worrying
about labels and listen to
your heart.•
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
23
FLORIDA
FUN
St. Pete Pride and Women Fest turn on the sun.
In spite of rain, colorful crowds numbering approximately
100,000 gathered to march in St. Pete Pride on Saturday June 29,
one of Florida's largest gay Pride events, and continued to party
all day long and into the evening. Further south in Key West, the
infamous lesbian festival WomenFest-known for its party-hard
vibe and fun in and around sun-kissed waters-celebrated a
summer that saw significant gains in LGBT rights. Activities
included rock climbing and water sports such as snorkeling,
jet skiing, parasailing and more on the Fury's All Women
Ultimate Adventure; wild pool parties at the clothing optional
guest houses at popular Pearl's and Alexander's; and night life
adventures such as dinner sunset cruises, live comedy shows
featuring Suzanne Westenhoefer, and music-thumping clubs.
(stpetepride.com, womenfest.com)
VIEWS/
TRUTHOR DA
The Urge to Merge
Hold the U-Haul and think it through-monogamy
may impact your sex life.
BY JINCEY LUMPKIN & CARLIN ROSS
JINCEY
Confession: I am a reformed cheater. Serial
monogamy was the name of my game.
When I make a romantic connection, I
fall hard and fast. I fuck easily and often, so
intimacy comes naturally-or,
I so always
thought. I always dreamed about finding
"true love:• I thought it meant that you were
someone's everything, and that your sweetheart was yours and yours alone.
I thought loving someone meant that "two
become one:• In other words, from the age of
5, when I got a wedding veil at Harrods (I
was on vacation in London with my parents),
I was already feeling the Urge to Merge.
Whenever I start seeing someone new, I'm
overwhelmed with strong emotion. I search
the eyes of my lover for parts of myself. Being
a bold and honest person, I say whatever is
25
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
on my mind, and I look to my partner for the
same kind of direct self-expression. So many
times, my heart has been broken because I
was upfront with my feelings, but the same
sentiments were not returned.
The intense attraction and "oneness" that
I feel with each new love makes me yearn
to be with that person as much as possible.
My typical pattern is to meet someone, fall
quickly in love, move in almost immediately,
and fully enmesh myself in the other person's
life. Then, however, another pattern begins
to emerge.
To illustrate the issue, let's take a look at
a controversial and important relationship in
my past.
I met my ex-girlfriend when she was still
in high school. I was finishing law school,
and I'd come out of the closet shortly before
I met her.
At that time, even though I was seven
years older than she was, it felt to me like we
were the same age. When I met her, the room
warped under my feet. From the get-go, we
connected as though we'd known each other
forever. That night, she talked her way into
my bed and into my heart.
We saw each other as much as we could.
We lay in bed for days upon days. As soon as
she graduated from high school, she moved
in with me, and I discovered that she was
an alcoholic-a violent one at that. About
six months into our relationship, I started
to feel suffocated. In fact, I now realize that
six months into every relationship, I began to
have the same feeling. But what would happen when, no longer under the glamorous
influence of an endorphin cocktail, I started
to get to know the "real" person? Would I
end the relationship when signs of trouble
emerged? Absolutely not! True love meant
that I had to stick it out through thick and
thin! Right?
I stayed with my ex, and, as with many,
many relationships before, I began to develop
feelings for someone new. In this case, I got a
big crush on our roommate. At first I tried to
fight the feelings, but after a while I gave up.
The thing was, when I told my ex, she had
a different idea about how our relationship
should progress. Just as she'd talked her way
into my bed the first night, she persuaded me
that we should stay together.
Of course the scenario repeated itself, and
about a year later I began full-on cheating
with a mutual friend. The sex wasn't satisfying.
My infatuation was merely an unconscious
exit strategy.
As women, we highly value our emotional
connections. However, the drawback to our
strong feelings is, in fact, the Urge to Merge.
When we move too fast too soon, we're not
building a strong relationship with a solid
foundation of trust. We're not creating space
for ourselves when we're always looking for
our "other half' Real intimacy comes when
you can be who you really are, which means
that you can be honest.
Not all relationships are meant to be forever. In the past, I should have asked myself,
"Why am I fighting for this relationship
when I should really be fighting for myself?"
CARLIN
I'm not shy. I'm the type of woman who
knows what she wants every moment of
every day-what I want to do, where I want
to go, and how I want to orgasm. But I didn't
come out of the box like that. I remember
being silenced and paralyzed by fear, swimming in insecurity, and mired in sexless
relationships. Sure, becoming a sex educator
and having an orgasm on national television
will help you find your voice, but I have other
"sex" milestones that are worth sharing.
I experienced the slut stigma when I got
my first job at 15. During training, I was
warned not to talk to another cashier. She was
a "slut;' and if we got to be friends I would be
a slut by association. I didn't listen and we're
still friends today. The best part of our friend-
WS/
TRUTHOR DARE
ship is that we talk down and dirty about our
sex lives. You name it-we go there.
Everyone talks about "having sex;' but no
one talks about how they get off. I will: My
favorite orgasm is when someone lubes up
my vulva and goes to town with both hands
at once. I want clitoral stimulation, vaginal
penetration, and pressure on my pubic bone
as I'm about to orgasm.
It feels good to know what I want and it
feels good to be able to say it out loud, without a shred of shame. Talking openly about
sex with my girlfriend was the practice I
needed to learn how to talk about sex with
my partners. I had to find the words.
There's nothing wrong with showing
your partner what you want. I remember
watching a fisting clip with Chloe Conrad
during the peer-to-peer porn days. She
was right in front of an orgasm but you
could see that something was off. She took
the woman's hand and pulled it out just a
bit then came her face off. I'll never forget
that scene because I learned how to take
control in the bedroom in just that one
moment (thank you, Chloe). Beware of
suffering in silence.
I had a lover who used one of those
warming lubricants. I hated it. It felt like
someone had shoved a Red Hots up my
cooch, and it was sticky. But I endured the
lube torture until, at dinner with friends,
I blurted out, "Just don't let [blank] load
up your vag with tantric warming lube. It
burns for days and kills your orgasm:' My
words hung in the air-it was the ultimate
TMI moment. If I didn't like the lube, I
should have just said so at the time. What
had stopped me from swapping out the
lube with something more vagina-friendly?
At the time, I thought I was angry with my
partner for making sex hurt, but I was really
angry with myself for playing victim.
Whenever my business partner, the illustrious Betty Dodson, and I do a press tour,
we're asked the same question: "How do you
spice things up in the bedroom?" It doesn't
matter whether we're in Norway, Cuba or
London. And it doesn't matter whether
you're gay or straight. Bed Death is universal. Just once, we'd like to say,"Have sex with
someone else. Next question:' However, we
know we can't go there because monogamy
is so ingrained in the culture. If we want to
educate, we have to start small.
I'm not going to bore you with the research.
Here's the skinny. To keep things spicy, we
need to create sexual energy outside of our
long-term relationships. How, exactly, the
sexual energy manifests is something you
talk about, negotiate, and, ultimately, agree
on. It could mean strip shows, casual flirting,
sexting, kissing, threesomes or polyamory.
You've got a world of options.
Personal admission: I've never been monogamous. I just can't pull it off.
My whole day revolves around sex: writing about it, filming it, discussing it. For
me, sex is everything. It's why I'm a sex
educator. I always want to try out different
techniques and hang out with the other sex
geeks. Truthfully, the thought of my partner being with someone else turns me on.
I know what works: communication, honesty, self-knowledge and pleasure.
And I know what doesn't: repression,
dishonesty, self-hatred and pain.
At the end of the day, sex is the only
reason we're here. It's how we connect with
ourselves and how we connect with others.•
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
26
VIEWS/
TASTET
NO
Strings
A new concept in grocery
delivery makes you a top chef.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
Y
ou've seen the pre-packaged, dietdriven meal plans that can be
delivered to your door for a price
and popped into the microwave. Now imagine a meal plan that delivers farm fresh,
family-run purveyor-selected ingredients, with
easy to follow recipe cards. Hello, Top Chef
at home.
I pride myself on being able to cook. But
these days, dreaming up dinnertime options
and getting to the grocery store to source all
the ingredients is, in itsel£ becoming a feat
worthy of reality TV.
Each night, you open the fridge and scour
it for ingredients that might make a meal.
But what if everything you needed for that
week had been delivered to you in a refrigerated box-all
the top quality, seasonal
fixings and instructions for easy-to-assemble, restaurant-quality meals in a matter of
minutes.
Blue Apron does all that for you, and
what I like is that I learn about the food as
I'm making it. I encounter the produce as
though for the first time: from marjoram
to miso, I am introduced to the charms and
function of each ingredient as I prepare the
meal. I tried the Glazed Mini Pork Meatballs
& Snow Peas over Brown Rice; Tilapia with
Shallot-Tarragon Butter over Corn and Japanese Eggplant; Marjoram-Garlic Chicken
with Jersey Tomato Panzanella. (The latter
was my favorite: who knew what Panzanella
was or how easy it is to prepare:')
Here's a way to become more produce
savvy, eat fresher food, cultivate a few culinary tricks, and not feel as though you
copped out on takeaway and blew your
calorie count.
So strap on that blue apron, get out in that
kitchen and rattle them pots and pans!•
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
27
s1 TASTETEST
28
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2013
FlLM»
MUSIC
»
BOOKS
»
TECH
»
curve
FILM»
W
WJ
~
WJ
0
<(
l9
u
::;:
WJ
z
~
'.";
hen director Kimberly Peirce
is attached to a project, people
take notice-and
with good
reason. Her debut feature film Boys Don't
Cry, which depicted the true story of the
tragic murder of trans teenager Brandon
Teena, was a critical smash and earned its
lead actor Hilary Swank her first Oscar.
Peirce makes passion projects and she isn't
afraid of dark subject matter. So, when it was
announced that for her third film she would
be helming the remake of Carrie, a story of
pathos, revenge and tragedy, it just felt right.
The film, which is based on the book by
Stephen King, follows Carrie White, a girl
who, after a lifetime of merciless bullying
and abuse from schoolmates and her mother,
discovers she has a supernatural gift that
begins to manifest itself at puberty. This is
much to the horror of her zealously religious
mother who sees her gift as proof of evil.
When Curve caught up with Peirce, she
was still putting the finishing touches on
the film-which hits screens Oct. 18-and
she gave us the inside scoop on why Carrie's
story is a whole lot queerer than you'd think.
How did directing Carrie come about?
When they came to me and said they
were interested in me, I wasn't sure at first
if I would do it. So I actually picked up the
book ... ! read it, I fell in love with her, fell
in love with the mother, I love that it was
a small town. I love that it has an amazing
tragic structure. I love that it was a revenge
story. I saw a way to modernize it, I saw a
way to flesh out the arcs of all the characters ... and I turned it into a superhero origin
story, which is a metaphor for identity.
Were Chloe Moretz and Julianne Moore
your first choice to play the Whites?
Absolutely. There are a couple of things that
were important to me. One is to cast a Carrie
who is actually a teenager. And it was extraordinary that Chloe-she was 15 going on 16was really going through some of that social
pressure. Particularly when I brought Julianne
Moore in, Chloe's acting and Julianne's acting
really meshed together as a mother-daughter
relationship.
Carrie is kind of the ultimate tale of
bullying, which is very timely.
I did a lot of research on bullying. I looked at
how boys bully and how girls bully. With all
my movies, I do a lot of research of what could
be possible, and certainly it was amazing to
see how rich the female friendships were, how
girls were connected to one another, how girls
bullied one another. Not to reduce it, but by
and large, when boys bully it is more physical
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
29
REVIEWS/
FlLM
than when girls bully in kind of a political fashion. Girls were getting very
meshed in with one another and hurting one another in ways that were
really deadly. And that was very powerful.
As tough as it is at school for Carrie, home isn't really a safe either.
The mother-daughter relationship is the heart and soul of Carrie.In particular
I love that Carriewas born into a mortal conflict with her mother. It's a relationship where essentially they're at odds in a fight to the death, which pays
off at the very end of the movie. So I amplified the relationship between the
mother and daughter. I really track Margaret's feeling that this child could be
evil and she might have to kill it, to finally acknowledging that she has to kill
the child, to the child having super powers and the child having to go to fall
back on to protect herself and it's a to fight to the death. And that to me was
really what would inform the entire movie and I constantly come back to that.
What's queer about the film?
I would say that Carrie is completely queer in a lot of ways. Being a person
who's an outsider, a person who longs for acceptance in a particular heteronormative world is a complete queer experience.
I think the second thing is that sexuality is a huge part of queer life and it
certainly is with Carrie. Her mother enjoyed having sex and therefore repressed
Carrie. That's a really queer relationship when you think about it, when somebody is so uptight about their own sexuality and they repress your sexuality.
But also outside of that, Chris and Sue are two best friends. Chris and
Sue each bully Carrie. Chris goes in one direction and wants to bully Carrie more, Sue goes in the other and wants to make up for it, she tries to
make up for it for Carrie and she pisses Chris off and then Chris wants to
do even more damage in order to get back at her friend Sue. Now that's a
love triangle, right? And that's essentially very queer.
Carrie is such a complex character, is she the hero or the villain?
She's definitely the protagonist. I think the real art to doing this well, kind oflike
with BoysDon't Cry, was to immediately bring you as deeply inside Carrieas
possible. I wanted you to identify with her, to love her, and to want her to succeed.
But at the same time, it was vital that you understood why she was made fun 0£
We had to indict the audience in the wrongdoing.
I really worked on the script to make sure that hopefully you understand
why a girl like Chris, who's a rich privileged girl, who starts out throwing a
tampon at Carrie,could escalate to ... slitting a pig's neck, and hoisting pig's
blood up on this girl. You had to make the progression all the way through it
with her. Because if you ever tuned out and you didn't identify with Chris on
some level, even though Carrie'syour protagonist, it'll be over.
I really worked on making sure that there was a culprit narrative so
that when Carrie went after the people who [bullied her] ... it was good,
old-fashioned American revenge.•
DVD
PICKS
Strangers on a Train gets the Sapphic treatment in this new
thriller from Jamie Babbit (But I'm a Cheerleader, /tty Bitty
Titty Committee). Sara (Agnes Bruckner) is a promising,
law student who hits hard times when a rival begins
systematically ruining her life out of jealousy. Enter Alex
(Madeline Zima), a wealthy, seductive lesbian wild child. The
two hit it off instantly, until Alex proposes a deadly solution
to both their problems: each of them should kill the other's
respective nemeses. But when Alex unexpectedly follows
through Sara is put under suspicion. But who is really
playing whom? The answer is not as straightforward as it
seems. Rife with plot twists this is just the lesbian potboiler
to snuggle up to with a bowl of popcorn and your personal
leading lady.
Margarita is the latest from real life couple Dominique
Cardona and Laurie Colbert (Finn's Girn. The film follows
the challenges faced by an undocumented lesbian nanny
working in Canada. When her employers face financial
woes they decide the best course of action is to let
Margarita go, despite six years of loyal service. However,
what is soon revealed is not only how significant a role
Margarita has played in their lives but how the family's
casual exploitation of their domestic staff has held her
back. Despite the heavy themes the film still manages to
be heartwarming, thought provoking and even sexy. That's
because ultimately Margarita is a love story, whether that
be of the familial sort or something more romantic.
30
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2013
REVIEWS/MUSIC
K
t&~~..;:;~~~=~~~i"'~~-•••
rissy Krissy, born Krislyn Rivera,
is taking her place in the spotlight.
She landed a gig as the opening
act on tour this fall with lezzie fave Girl in
a Coma and The Real L Word's Hunter Valentine. An openly gay musician and a former
Pentecostal Christian, Krissy Krissy is performing cross-country, from Portland, Ore.,
to Pittsburgh, Pa.
A Brooklynite to her soul, Rivera grew up in
Bushwick. Her mother is the devout Pentecostal, her late father a rough-and-tumble guy who
ran the streets and made a name for himself
in the same neighborhood where Rivera now
lives. Yet she credits her father with developing
her talent, and her passion, for music. "My dad
didn't really know much of the Christian world
or the church lifestyle. He got arrested one
time when my sister was, like, 2. There was a
.. ~m'-1'-ss~10~'-'ry~•""'"•that
came to visit him in jail.
It was a family that sang-the Cortese Sisters.
And he challenged his entire faith in God, and
ildren
said, 'God, if}.'-u're real, I want all
to come out sin
ike these sisters did. And if
they do, I'll se
r the rest of my life: So,
sang:' In the presence
, Rivera's father had to
e bargain. He converted
idn't totally reject her faith,
the Pentecostal traditions
was a strict lifestyle and
ime. I knew that I hated
REVIEWS/
MUSIC
it;' says Rivera. "When my mom put me in
skirts, I knew it was something I didn't like
to do:'As a teenager, Rivera finally sat down
with her parents and told them how uncomfortable she felt. They listened, and agreed to
allow her more freedom of expression.
After a lifetime of singing in church,
Rivera was discovered in a bar in Brooklyn. Emotionally fraught after a breakup,
Rivera roped her friends into going with
her to a karaoke bar, where she could sing
her troubles away.After belting out a Melissa
Etheridge song, practically in tears, she felt
a tap on her shoulder. "I didn't know you
could sing;' someone said to Rivera. She
bought her friends a round of drinks, and
the mysterious man, who turned out to
be Dennis Wynn, slipped her his business
card, and said he was an agent. "I took the
e-mail and I put it in my pocket. I didn't
care about it;' she recalls. But the next day
rolled around, and when Rivera told her
friends she hadn't contacted Wynn, one of
them called her out. "He said, 'You have
tissues all over the couch, you've been crying all night-you literally have nothing to
lose: And I looked at him, and said, 'You're
right:' Three years later, Rivera has released
her first EP, produced three music videos,
and is on her first nationwide tour.
In addition to writing and
touring, Rivera has been
honing her creativity
in other ways, including acting in her most
recent music video, "Suspicious:' The
song is a narrative straight from her life,
about suspecting someone of cheating,
and uncovering the truth. "I wanted my
second music video to be the polar opposite of my first one, 'Dream;" says Rivera.
"Everyone knows I'm an openly gay artist. This time, I wanted to put my acting
abilities on the table, and do something
people don't expect:'
Rivera is also starting a second round of
her social media contest. The first one just
finished its four-month run. It's called"My
Day with Krissy Krissy;' and it's an integrative campaign that not only offers Rivera's
fans a chance to win a $1,000 prize, but
also gives them an opportunity to have
fun while showing their support. The idea
is this: Instead of handing out a business
card or flyer, which often gets tossed,
Rivera gives out a cartoon cutout of herself-a miniature Krissy Krissy. People
take it on their travels and exploits, and
into their everyday lives, then take photos
of the cutout and post them to their social
media website, with the hashtag "#myday
withKrissy Krissy:'
"We chose the winner for July-there
was actually a girl who went skydiving
with it;' says Rivera. Skydiving has definitely upped the ante for the next winner,
but don't let that deter you from planning
your own day with Krissy Krissy. Drop her a
line, and she's likely to give you a shout-out.
"I don't let one thing go untouched;' she says.
"I want them to know I'm reachable, I'm
tangible. Maybe it's because I'm young in the
game, but if somebody's calling me, I can't
ignore them. If someone's reaching out
to me, I want to be the first person at
a venue, and the last person to shake
somebody's hand:' (krissykrissy.com)•
HOT
LICKS
)) BYRACHEL
SHATTO
Grenadina
GetShallow
(Self-Released)
For fans of GIAC and Hunter Valentine,
newcomers Grenadina are poised to
become your new favorite band. This
"girlcore" foursome (of which three are
LGBT-identified) is crafting just the kind of
melodic indie punk rock we can't get enough
of. Get Shallow marks the band's sophomore
release, which was made possible through
the support of the rabid fan base in
Grenadina's hometown of Lawrence, Kansas
via Kickstarter. While the entirety of the EP
is solid, "Tina Needs a GF' and "Hot Mess"
are standout tracks; both feature catchy
hooks and make the most of vocalist Katie
Ford's sweetly rich vibrato. Grenadina has
"the next big thing" stamped all over them.
..,,_
--- '
,....;
--
~..-
.~
1\
'-3,:
•
.~.
.....-.•
•
--
.... ,........\"-,_
J
/
Patty
Larkin
StillGreen
(Road
Narrows
Records)
Despite being born of grief-Patty Larkin lost
both parents in quick succession-Still Green
is filled with a sense of hope. Marking the
13th album for the out lesbian folk singer, it's
rooted in the traditions of Irish storytelling
and it wears its influences on its sleeve.
Album opener "Best of Intentions" was
written in two parts, first before the loss of
her parents and the second after. The result
is a dreamy, melancholy and deeply beautiful
ditty full of poetic irony. Long-time fans of
Larkin will find plenty to love and first time
listeners will appreciate her artistry and
emotional honesty.
32
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2013
REVIEWS/
T
BOOKS
he film Blue Is the Warmest Color,
which made a huge splash when it
won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes
Film Festival this Spring, is a story about
lesbian couple Clementine and Emma, as they
grow up and come out. Blue made cinematic
history as the first film based on a graphic
novel to win the festival's top prize-but
the accolades haven't come without controVariety
versy. The film's sex scenes-which
called "the most explosively graphic lesbian
sex scenes in recent memory"-have gotten
most of the attention despite taking up only
.a handful of minutes of film. Julie Maroh,
uthor of the graphic novel on which Blue
based, has been openly critical of the film,
rying the sex scenes and writing on her
g,''As a lesbian ... it appears to me that this
s what was missing on the set: lesbians:'
"Whatever it may be;' Maroh wrote, "I
't see the movie as a betrayal. When it
es to adapting something, I believe that
otion of betrayal should be reconsid1 lost control of my book as soon as I
It away to be read. It's an object meant
e handled, felt, interpreted:' Maroh con1dersthe post, made in May, to be her final
rd on the movie, but she was happy to
about the new English-language release
e graphic novel, in stores now.
After hearing so much about the film's
explicit nature, we weren't sure what to expect
en we sat down with the graphic novel and
asked Maroh what readers should know
before picking up the book for themselves. "I
would say that the best would be to detach
yourself from what you've already read or
heard about it, from the press, from a close
relation, from the bookseller;' Maroh tells us.
"This is how I like to enter a story I'm about
to read or watch: freely, alone:'
Once you set aside the press coverage,
you'll find Blue Is the Warmest Color is a
touching love story that presents teenaged
Clementine coming to terms with who she
is as she falls in love with the blue-haired
Emma.
Most of the novel, relating the history
of their relationship through Clementine's
diary, is painted in shades of gray, with
splashes of the titular blue. "Tue memory
never recalls everything," Maroh explains.
"We always remember specific details: a
light, a smell, a gesture, an object. Among
the black and white imperfect memories of
Clementine, the touches of blue are there to
evoke the strong details that most left their
mark on her:'
When asked about the journey writing and
illustrating Blue has taken her on Maroh says,
"It's been a great adventure, and apparently it's
not over! More than three years after its first
publication, I still receive moving testimonies
from all kinds of people after they read the
book or give it to others to read. For me, being
the witness of their changing awareness is the
best gift ever:'
Maroh has been drawing comics all her
life, and tells us she drew her first comic story
at age 6 and her first comic book at age 8.
''As soon as I could hold a pencil, I became a
storyteller. I've always been brimming over,
with too many emotions, words, images,
34
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
intentions for my mouth to articulate and I
put them in my comics:'
Maroh started working on Blue at age 19,
when she entered a contest to draw a single
page on the subject of being 15 years old.
"Most of the essence of Blue emerged at that
moment;' she explains. "Tue characters, the
past in black and white with a blue touch,
Clementine's diary. I won the contest, and
taking confidence in that I decided to develop
it into a full graphic novel:' From there, it took
Maroh several years to flesh out the story and
draw, paint and letter all 150 pages.
"I had been studying comics in Brussels
for a year;' Maroh says, recollecting when
she started work on Blue,"and was discovering I was more interested in drawing stories
if there was a notion of political or social
engagement. Otherwise I would get bored
and wouldn't see the point of it. As a young
and idealistic lesbian, I wanted to show that
homosexuality had a dignified place in this
world, that gay love stories aren't worth less
than straight love stories and that everyone
can identify with the feelings, joys, sufferings
and fears found in every type of love story:'
While France has recently legalized same
sex marriage, Blue's story begins in 1994,
when the climate was less friendly to the
LGBT community. But the novel is a personal statement as much as a political one.
"Yes, it's about my own dignity being at stake,
as a lesbian;' Maroh says, "but it's also about
anyone's dignity living a love which would
be qualified as non-standard, not to say prohibited in some parts of the planer:' Maroh
wanted to reach beyond a lesbian audience,
to talk to "those who had no clue, had the
wrong picture, hated me, hated us. My wish
was really to participate in the normalization
of homosexuality, to give people the opportunity to see it from the inside. And since
it's also a story about our own mortality and
what remains of love after a loss, I wanted to
show it affects all of us, no matter what our
sexuality is:'
So what's next for Maroh?
Her second graphic novel, Skandalon, was
published this September and she's written
a short comic about composer Johannes
Brahms that will be released before the end
of the year-though
both are in French and
there's no word on whether there will be an
English translation. Her next project is called
Les Corps Sonoresand, as Maroh describes it,
will be a series of "little love stories and introspections focused on alternative identities and
sexualities:'
Blue Is the Warmest Color is currently
available directly from Arsenal Pulp Press
or you can pick up a copy at your local
book or comics shop. The film adaptation
is due to hit screens in October through
Sundance Selects. (juliemaroh.com) •
REVIEWS/
BYROSANNA
RIOS
SPICER
image of feminism looks like all of us.
Just as in her previous work,
Whipping Girl, Oakland-based author,
performer, biologist and transgender
activist transforms topics mired in controversy and complexity and skillfully
narrows them down. After addressing
the most vocal arguments, she refocuses on what feminism ought to be about:
unconditional mutual respect regardless of gender, orientation, assigned
sex or the litany of categories we box
ourselves and each other into.
In Excluded, Serano details how
modern queer feminism is limiting itself
by stubbornly adhering to beliefs that
contradict its own principals of equality
and solidarity. Zoning in on Camp
Trans, one of the battlefields of the
debate surrounding the Michigan
Womyn's Music Festival's "womynborn-womyn only" policy, she delves
into issues surrounding the scapegoating of transgender women and
femininity and the contradiction of
admonishing one form of sexism
Excluded:
Making
Feminist
andQueer
More
Inclusive
Movements
Julia
Serano
(Seal
~ress)
You can't talk about feminism without
conjuring an image of what a feminist
looks like. To those who have been
excluded from the narrative, both past
and present, that picture looks discouragingly bleak. In Excluded: Making
Feminist and Queer Movements More
Inclusive, author Julia Serano's vision of
an updated and holistic feminism isn't
just about making some elbow
room for those of
, us marginalized
in the struggle. It
calls for full and
equal participation. The new
BOOKS
while embracing others.
Keeping with her
dedication to
intersectionality,
she explores the
attitudes behind
bi-phobia and
how it extends
into other forms
of alienating our
allies in the queer movement.
Serano also lays out her own ideas
about how feminism can be liberating for everyone, borrowing from
her background as a biologist and
her experience as a transgender and
bisexual activist. She offers up Holistic
Feminism. An approach that pairs
original feminist ideals like equality,
inclusion, and empowerment with
insight into how gender and sexuality
are influenced by biology and why it
matters. Serano makes a compelling
argument that feminism's future
depends on it. (juliaserano.com}
.:6\compellzit3
polzceprocedural
wztha contemporarp
sett1it3
and a heroineworthpcfa senes."
-c;J;(frkus<iK,eviews
With the NYPD urgently looking to catch a killer of wealthy middle-aged Manhattanites, Late Boomer
introduces the intriguing Detective Carina Quintana, who struggles to catch the killer without igniting
panic among the city's elites, all the while wrestling with her sexuality and complications from her past.
In Benson's equally tightly-plotted Roomer Has It and White Tie & Tales, Carina, now back in her native
Miami Beach and no longer questioning her identity, finds herself juggling new relationships as she faces
harrowing adversaries with blood on their hands and justification for their heinous deeds in their hearts.
All three of Benson's Carina Quintana Mysteries are available at Amazon.com, the iBook Store
and wherever e-books are sold.
Seven apps that will revolutionize
the way you cook. av HAss1NA oaA1ov
=
C
ooking can be stressful, especially
around the holidays, when suddenly
you're expected to go from dyke about
town to Suzy Feast-maker. But don't panic,
there's a veritable cornucopia of apps for that.
With a flick of a finger on your smart phone or
tablet, you can learn to cook a five-course meal,
find in-season produce, or whip up healthy,
vegan meals like a pro. Here are seven cooking
apps that we can't live without.
COOKING PLANIT
"A G.P.S. for the kitchen;' as Chef Emily Wilson puts it, the Cooking Planit app breaks
down the cooking process with step-by-step instructions on planning, preparing and cooking,
allowing one to choose recipes that are tailored
together to create a meal. The app also contains
voice controls so you don't have to go back and
forth to your phone, or iPad. ($3, iTunes)
VEGANYUM YUM
Cooking vegan offers many unique challenges-particularly
for beginners. Lauren Ulm
of Vegan Yum Yum.com takes out the guesswork by sharing many of the recipes from her
cookbook in her latest app Vegan Yum Yum.
36
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
This easy to use app includes healthy vegan
options from international cuisines and gives
you easy to follow instructions. (Free, iTunes)
FOODILY
What do you get when you combine social
networking and foodr Foodily. The website
and now app allows users to share and follow
each other's recipes. From talented celebrity
chefs to stay at home moms, different recipes and photos are shared on a daily basis.
(Free, iTunes)
PERFECTPRODUCE
The name says it all. Perfect Produce shows
you how to find the ripeness in a cantaloupe,
offers tips on how to keep fruits and vegetables fresh, and sets out complete nutritional information. It also features more than
450,000 healthy recipes categorized by fruit
and vegetable. ($2, iTunes, Google Play)
RATIO
Dying to go off recipe but fearful of the result?
The Ratio app gives you a whole new way to
think about food prep and will give the freedom
improvise. That's because rather than preset
measurements, Ratio helps you calculate the
amount of ingredients for any culinary concoction. So you'll know exactly how much of each
ingredient is needed no matter if you're cooking
for one or 100. ($5, iTunes, GooglePlay)
HOW TO COOK
EVERYTHING
If you just don't like cooking or really need
help with the basics, this app is your new
best friend. How to Cook Everything features detailed instructions and over 400
how-to illustrations to take all the mystery
(read: pot-throwing frustration) out of the
culinary arts. The app can even help plan
your grocery list. ($10, iTunes)
LOCAVORE
As any chef will tell you, your dish is only
as good as its ingredients, and nothing beats
fresh seasonal fruit and veg. Locavore is the
easiest way to find in-season vegetables and
fruits, pinpointing nearby farmers' markets
that sell the products you need. The app
includes information on those farmers' markets, in-season recipes and what's coming in
season. (Free, iTunes, Google Play) •
FEATURES/
A
t M Cubic, the new lesbian club
in Taipei, I was asked, "What are
some stereotypes about lesbians
in the U.S.?" When I mentioned the presumption that most of the female employees
at Home Depot are lesbians, one of the girls
in the group told me to look up at a fixture
on the wall that wasn't secure. Soon, my new
friends were standing on chairs, inspecting
the wall, and trying to fix it themselves.
With the Taiwanese, I always find myself
laughing at our similarities, and enchanted
by our differences. There is a comfortable
exoticism in Taipei that I haven't found
anywhere else. From Good Cho's-a refurbished assembly hall turned co-op cafeyou can see Taipei 101, a glass skyscraper,
towering 1,600 feet over a preserved military dependents' village, meant to house
soldiers and their families who fled mainland China, defeated by Mao's Communist
takeover in 1949. Munching on a yam and
red bean bagel, I feel right at the nexus of
East and West, past and future.
Taiwan is a gem that lesbian travelers
often overlook. When my friend Amanda Rothstein came to visit from D.C.,
she stepped onto the streets of Taipei,
smiled, and asked, "Why didn't anyone
tell me Taipei is a city of lesbians:'" On a
flight to Hong Kong, I sat next to a girl
named Scottie who told me she'd gone
to Taipei 10 times this past year because
she couldn't get enough of Taipei's lesbian
scene. Other Americans tell me they love
LESBIAN
TERMINOLOGY
T & Po(~) Taipei's lesbians often
identify themselves as Tor po. In
short, a T is a butch, and a po is
a femme. T stands for "tomboy,"
while po is the Chinese word for
"wife." According to Jennifer Lu
from the Taiwan Tongzhi Hotline
Association, Taiwanese girls still
feel significant pressure to adhere
to traditional codes of femininity,
so if a Taiwanese girl has short hair,
she's likely a lesbian.
Tongzhi (icu~) An appropriation of
the Communist word "comrade,"
which loosely translates to "LGBTQ."
La Zi (t'.r:r) A phonetic imitation of
the English word "lesbian."
Taipei "because there are butch lesbians
everywhere:'
LESBIAN HISTORY
& POLITICS IN TAIWAN
Recently, Taiwan has been at the forefront
of LGBT politics in Asia. When martial law
was finally overturned in 1987, a wave of
democratic reforms brought strength to the
movement here. Christianity has relatively
little political strength in Taiwan, and, as
we saw with the highly publicized Buddhist
lesbian wedding last August, Buddhists can
be supportive of LGBT rights.
According to AJ Wang, creative director
and editor-in-chief of Lezs magazine, ''A lot
has changed these past five years:' Notes of
a Crocodile,published in 1994 and arguably
Today, many
Taiwanese lesbians
are very open about
being out.
''
the definitive Taiwanese lesbian novel, tells
a story wrapped in oppression and tragedy.
Back then, you had to ring a doorbell to get
into basement lesbian bars like Esha (now
closed). By 2003, less than a decade later,
Taipei was leading the LGBT movement in
Asia by holding the region's first Gay Pride
Parade (this year's Pride was in October).
Today, many Taiwanese lesbians are very
open about being out. Former lesbian party
planner Reishi Chang tells me, "There may
not be a need for lesbian bars here;' because
"a lot of us feel perfectly comfortable holding hands with our girlfriends anywhere on
the island:' When she returned to her home
city, Kaohsiung, recently, Reishi says she
was surprised that there were so many lesbian couples, who were "all over each other" in
public, and even more surprised that nobody
else was giving them an extra glance.
Though lesbian travelers may not face
any discrimination in Taiwan, local lesbians
continue to confront several ongoing problems. Women generally earn lower salaries
ISSU
than men and inheritance usually goes to
sons, so lesbian-specific meetings at the
LGBTQ Taiwan Hotline Association often
review ways that lesbians can save money for
retirement. In a society that remains heavily
influenced by Confucian values, there is also
significant pressure to have biological children.
Same-sex marriage, once proposed as legislation in 2003, continues to be postponed.
LESBIAN LIFE IN TAIPEI
There are currently two lesbian bars in Taipei,
Taboo and M Cubic. For years, Taboo was
the only lesbian bar in Taipei-and
many
people say that Taipei's lesbians only need
one. In response to the opening ofM Cubic,
though, the owner of Taboo optimistically
told me, 'Tm glad we have another lesbian
spot in Taipei! Hopefully, this will get more
lesbians to come out!"
According to Jennifer Lu, the director
of Public Affairs at the Taiwan Tonghzi
Hotline Association, Taboo is "not the most
elegant or highest class, but helps everyone
feel like they are part of the same community:' Quentin Tsai, the owner of Taboo,
agrees that she intended to give Taboo a
"living room" feel. There's a lounge area
with couches on the dance floor. Taboo's
DJs usually play K Pop, but they also
have trance nights. The cover charge is
NTD$300 ($10), and no, this isn't a joke:
They give you unlimited drinks, but will
fine you if you throw up!
AJ, who is not only the editor of Lezs
magazine, but also a promoter for M Cubic,
tells me they opened M Cubic in order to
create a more upscale lesbian bar in the
city. "We no longer need to hide in basements;' AJ asserts. Situated on the top floor
of a popular mall, right alongside several
straight clubs, M Cubic is definitely not trying to hide itself away. Guys can get in, but
they pay more and must be escorted by at
least two girls. Inside, there is a square bar at
the center with a lounge area on the left and
a dance floor on the right. M Cubic gives
you three drinks for your NTD$400 ($15)
cover charge, and a table costs NTD$200
($6) per person.
Five or six times a year, a group called
Lezs Meeting rents out a straight club and
hosts a themed party. These parties attract
600 people on average. Last August, the
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
39
Girl's World party brought in over 1,000
people.
The older generation of local lesbians
continues to hang out at lesbian karaoke
bars on Linsen North Road. These karaoke bars see very few tourists. Walking
in feels quite like stepping into another
time and place. The bar hires promoters
to come chat with you and introduce you
to other customers.
During the day, lesbian couples can be
seen holding hands just about anywhere
in Taipei. One of the stereotypes about
Taiwanese lesbians is that they all work at
coffee shops. Homey's is one of my favorite cafes in Taipei, partially because their
tomboy barista, nicknamed "Super Cute;' is
exactly that.
Though many Taiwanese lesbians, including Quentin Tsai, tell me they don't feel the
need to go to lesbian-specific places during
the day, the city does offer a range of lesbian
spaces.
Fembooks is a lesbian bookstore associated with the Gender/Sexuality
Rights
Association (GSRAT), which also hosts
community events and conferences. Near
40
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
the National Taiwan University, Fembooks
claims to be the first feminist bookstore in
the Chinese-speaking world. This is where
I got introduced to Taiwanese lesbian history, culture, politics and fiction in English
(I highly recommend Fran Martin's work).
Next door, there is an equally progressive
cafe/bar called the Witch House; its rather
sexualized menu includes "Shapely Rice
Tits:' Also in the neighborhood of NTU,
there's another bookstore/ cafe pair-Gin Gin's
and Hours-that
have been bastions of the
Taiwanese LGBT community for over a
decade. Both places are mostly frequented
by gay men, but Gin Gin's stocks Fran Martin's books to purchase, and Hours stocks
Lezs magazine to read with your coffee.
A NEW LESBIAN B&B IN
THE COUNTRYSIDE
My little cousin, age 20, just came out
to me as lesbian (I cried). When I asked
her what lesbian spots she likes to go to
outside Taipei, she told me she'd never
thought about lesbian travel before, because
"What's the need( She and her girlfriend go
to the countryside almost every weekend,
and recommend watching the sunrise at the
top of Alishan Mountain.
In this way, participating in the lesbian
community in Taiwan has become a choice,
more than a necessity.
If you choose to meet other lesbians
while traveling around the island, I recommend stopping by a lesbian B&B called
Sweet House #12 (B3{,,1251JG),opened by
Reishi Chang this past October. Because
same-sex marriage is still not legal in Taiwan, Reishi's mom wanted to help create a
place where her daughter's lesbian friends
could retire one day. Reishi tells me she
hopes that this B&B will eventually expand
to become a"lesbian village:' She's hired lesbian friends from Taiwan, Hong Kong and
South Africa to help paint murals on the
walls. To get there, take the Taiwan Railway Administration
(TRA) train to the
Douliu Station in Yun Lun. The B&B is a
$5 taxi ride from the Douliu Station. This
part of town is quite rural. Sweet House
#12 provides bikes, which is a great way
to explore the surrounding rice paddies.
There are also many teahouses in the mountains nearby. •
FEATURES/
ISSU
TAIPEI
IFYOU GO
Fembooks
Address: No. 7, Lane 56, Section 3,
Xinsheng South Road, Daan District,
Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2364 8244
Gin Gin's
Address: No. 8, Alley 8, Lane
210, Section 3, Lu6sifu Road,
Zhongzheng District, Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2364 2006
Good Cho's
Address: No. 54, Songqin Street,
Xinyi District, Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2758 2609
Hours
Address: No. 12, Alley 8, Lane
210, Section 3, Lu6sifu Road,
Zhongzheng District, Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2364 2742
Lezs Meeting
Website: www.lezsmeeting.com
E-mail: lezsmeeting@gmail.com
M Cubic
Address: 12F, No. 138, Section
4, Bade Road, Core Pacific City,
Songshan District, Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 3762 2730
Taboo
Address: B1, No. 90, Section 2,
Jiangu6 North Road, Zhongshan
District, Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2518 1119
Witch House
Address: No. 7, Lane 56, Section 3,
Xinsheng South Road, Daan District,
Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2362 5494
Sweet House #12
Address: No.12, Tianxin Village,
Gukeng Township, Yunlin County
Tel: +886 9 3214 9012
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
41
FEATURE/ST
T
he party ended for Courtenay
Semel the day that Casey Johnson,
the love of her life, was found dead.
Up until then, Semel was linked in the press
socially, romantically and sometimes erroneously to the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Tila
Tequila, the Hilton sisters, the Kardashians
and other notorious figures from Hollywood's nightlife. After the 30-year-old Johnson & Johnson heiress died tragically in her
L.A. home in January 2010, Semel reevaluated her own life, bolted from the spotlight,
and got hell-bent on cleaning up her act.
Semel recently resurfaced, with a new home
in the Hollywood Hills, a Masters degree in
clinical psychology, and a mission to spread a
little rainbow love.
"When [Casey] passed away, that was kind
of my wake-up call;' says Semel, seated in
the airy living room of her Hollywood Hills
home. "And it was kind of a moment where I
decided I could continue to go down that rabbit hole, or I can completely reinvent myself
and change, and do something that actually
has a purpose:'
Her purpose, she now believes, is to use
her life experiences to help young people who
are going through the addictions, self-esteem
issues and other burdens of youth that nearly
destroyed her life and contributed indirectly
to the death of her beloved Casey, who died
from Diabetic Ketoacidosis. Semel wants
to use her influence and resources, as the
daughter of the former head of Warner Bros.
and later, the CEO of Yahoo, to draw attention
to issues close to her heart.
In an exclusive interview with Curve,
Semel spoke of a new project that she hopes
will draw attention to this year's Supreme
Court decision on gay marriage. She was
inspired after a recent viewing of the film
Brokeback Mountain caused her to look
deeper into the tragic love story about two
men victimized by a strict moral code. "For
me, it really struck a chord;' says Semel.
"These two people were madly in love, and
they had to force themselves to be in relationships to live a straight, 'normal' life, just
because someone somewhere decided it
wasn't OK for two men to be together or two
women to be together.
''Although the ending in my relationship
was so tragic, at least I was able to shout from
a rooftop that I loved this person, and not
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
43
have a family against me:'
Semel came up with a "kind of cool pro}
ect;' she says. "I wanted to be loud and proud
about rainbow love. And every color of the
rainbow is beautiful. Any person of any color,
size, shape, background, should be able to
fall in love with whomever comes their way,
and their soul matches another soul, and
they want to be together:'
The resulting murals from L.A. street artists MAR and Annie Preece fill the spacious
garage in Semel's hillside home. The floor
and walls are bursting with all the colors of
the rainbow, and the centerpiece is a unicorn
that graces one wall.
"I kept screen shooting this woman's art.
It was this unicorn, it had rainbows, and it
was gorgeous and it just made me happy;'
says Semel, explaining how she decided on
the artwork. She found both artists through
LAB on La Brea. "My other thing was I
wanted to drive into a rainbow, like I was
driving into a video game:'
A local artist who goes by the name MAR
painted the rainbow "highway:'
"I thought about this for awhile;' says
Semel. "I asked myself, 'What is the craziest
way to get this point across?' We've seen like,
Chris Brown doing street art on his house. I
wanted it to be the centerpiece of my home.
And my garage is my entrance to my home,
that's what I drive into every day:'
Both artists were drawn to the idea for what
Semel's vision represents. "I was so happy that
the ban was lifted and I wanted to do something
different. And that's why this project came
about;' Semel says. "The artists, Annie and
MAR,jumped at it ... they said,'we want to be
a part of this; and have created the most amazing two murals. They gave their time just to be
a part of it. This is their support of the LGBT
community.
"It's exactly the way I felt when I wasn't
able to speak for myself when I was outted:'
Rumors about Semel's sexuality began
surfacing about 2007.
"While I'm in the middle of trying to
form my own identity separate from my
father's, getting outed as Terry Semel's
lesbian daughter, I was never fully able to
state my own sexuality for myself;' says
Semel, still indignant.
There's no doubt, however, how she
felt about Johnson. "I didn't even say, hi
I'm Courtenay and I'm a lesbian;' Semel
says now. "I said, Casey and I are in love. I
believe you fall in love with the person,
period. I hope with society and especially
now with the ban being lifted, I know the
younger generation is a lot more liberal and
hopefully there will be no more labels of
any kind at some point. It will be a person's
choice to label themselves:'
The bottom line, Semel declares, is
"you can't help who you fall in love with. I
believe you follow your heart, and that's why
I wanted to create this project, to basically say
follow your heart, spread the love, share the
rainbow love. And again love is love, no matter
what color of the rainbow it comes in:'
Semel is single now but, she points out
with a laugh, "It's a two-car garage:'
Not surprisingly, sexuality is an underlying
issue in her role as a marriage and family therapist. "The fear and not wanting to deal with
the reality and not wanting to deal with the
rejection from friends;' says Semel, "a lot them
will drown themselves in drugs and alcohol
just to be able to cope:'
"It's funny;' Semel adds, "Casey always
knew this is what I wanted to do with my life.
And I believe that I have an angel watching
over me. I felt it the day I started school:'
Helping others who are going through
what she did for those tumultuous years in the
public eye, "is the most fulfilling thing ever in
my life;' she says, "way more fulfilling than any
party I attended, or anything I've ever done:'•
''
wanted to
be loud and
proud about
rainbow love.
And every color
of the rainbow is
beautiful.
I
''
HAMPTOl'l3
one
Kim Stolz and Lexi Ritsch wed in style.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
I PHOTOS BY FRED MARCUS
O
n June 15,just days before DOMA
was repealed, New York lesbian
couple Alexis Jean Ritsch (Lexi),
30, and Kimberly Lynn Stolz (Kim), 30,
were married in Bridgehampton, at the home
of Stolz's parents. Stolz is VP of Equity
Derivatives for Citigroup, Inc., and the
owner of The Dalloway restaurant in Soho,
where Ritsch is the general manager.
The ceremony took place in the front garden, under a large arched gate. Cucumber
water, pink lemonade, and a vodka grapefruit
punch kept family and friends refreshed as
Kim and Lexi recited their self-penned vows.
Dr. Katrina Foster of the Amagansett
Lutheran Church officiated. The guests
followed the couple through the gate to the
cocktail hour, which was around the pool.
Garden tables were festooned with bistro
lights and lush floral arrangements by Sag
Harbor Florist. The hors d'oeuvres were
supplied by Art of Eating, the Hamptons'
preeminent caterer. Guests supped on doubledipped dogs, soft-shell crab BLTs, and sausage cups, and as the sun set the wedding
48
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
party adjourned to a Sperry sailcloth tent
decorated with mix-matched vintage furniture and lounge sections, rustic farm tables
topped with silk runners, chandeliers and
pastel-toned flowers. The dinner featured
a Hamptons plate: a bite-size lobster roll,
baked Long Island clams, and a shot glass of
Long Island clam chowder. Guests were also
treated to a culinary preview of the couple's
honeymoon destination, Southeast Asia,
with Peking duck (hand-carved and rolled
in scallion pancakes), boxes of lo mein and
an assortment of dumplings. At the Hamptons station-for
those not wanting to stray
below the equator-were
rib eye steaks,
twice-baked potatoes and wedge salad.
The night was filled with dancing (music
by Creations, featuring Kim Sozzi, a DJ),
and Dreesen's Donuts (a Hamptons staple)
were served piping hot to order. For latenight snackers, mini burgers, truffle grilled
cheeses and French fry cones were served.
The Hamptons setting was appropriate,
since the couple met at a quintessential
Hamptons dive bar. "I walked around back
to see the most beautiful girl in the world.
I had seen her once before in N.Y.C., at a
gay bar, where she completely passed when
I introduced myself;' recalls Lexi. "Kimmy
offered to buy me a drink and a hot tub dip
later that evening. We were inseparable:'
They began discussing the importance
of marriage early on, and Lexi proposed in
March 2012. "Being able to wed the woman
of your dreams is something we had both
hoped for, for a very long time;' she says.
She selected a diamond with her mom,
Meri, in early January, and they both
planned a surprise proposal. "Unlike anyone else," says Lexi, "Kim loves surprises,
but also loves to play detective-and
this
time she was right. As only she could do, she
whispered to me, 'I know you're proposing
in Antigua.' Well, that was that-I
was
determined to finally surprise her. I put a
rush on the ring, and quickly ran through
some new ideas, all of which somehow
dissipated. I ended up proposing at [the
restaurant] Jean-Georges. I refused to check
my down coat [the temporary fortress that
held the ring], forced Kimmy to sit in the
booth seat, I forced her to unseasonably
order the lobster, her favorite, and then simply demanded her to marry me, fumbling
the ring out of my coat just seconds after she
asked me, 'Lexi, is everything OK? You're
acting strangely:"
Within minutes of being engaged, "finger
envy" began, says Lexi. Just a few weeks later,
she says "Kimmy tricked me into attending
a trunk show at the Thompson, on the Lower
East Side. She went as far as to have one
of my best friends create a Facebook invite.
On the elevator up to the penthouse I felt
my heart flutter, and the elevator opened to
a pathway of flower petals to my beautiful
bride standing on the balcony:'
Their honeymoon in Bali, the Philippines and Hong Kong was perfectly exotic,
but glad news from home-the
repeal of
DOMA-was
still able to reach them. "It
actually happened 10 days after our wedding, and we were in the Philippines;' says
Kim. "We ordered a bottle of champagne
and celebrated:'•
Double Threat
With a voice like Melissa Etheridge and an arm like Joe Montana,
Sarni Grisafe is poised to conquer the world. eY LYNDSEY D'ARCANGELo
L
ast summer, singer-songwriter Sarni
Grisafe, 28, belted out the national
anthem under the clear blue sky
of the 2013 International Federation of
American Football (IFAF) Women's World
Championship. She was armed with only
her wonderfully raspy voice and the sweet
sound of a ukulele.
Standing proudly in front of her teammates, the opposing team, fans and officials,
Grisafe was completely at ease. But as soon
as the anthem ended, she flipped the intensity switch, quickly strapped on her helmet
and joined her teammates in the huddle.
Grisafe's road to the Women's National
Football Team began when she was just 10
years old.
"Honestly, I didn't know much about the
game of football, (because] I was really heavy
into baseball at the time. (My friend] invited
me to go with him [to football camp]. I went
so I wouldn't be left bored at home. After the
final day of camp, I ran home and begged my
mom, on my knees, to let me play:'
Grisafe's mother was naturally worried
about her daughter's safety. She even called
the president of Redlands Junior All-American Football and talked to him about her
concerns. "He said if I didn't like it after two
weeks, she could have a full refund;' laughs
Grisafe. "I've been playing ever since and my
parents are my biggest fans:'
As time went by, Grisafe's love for the
game grew. So did her talent. In fact, she
became the first female in California to play
quarterback in a varsity, Division I football
game. After high school, Grisafe found a
way to extend her football career.
"I first heard about the Chicago Force
during my time at Roosevelt University,
Chicago College of Performing Arts. I was
in the theater office during a break between
classes and the office manager was talking
about an article written about the Chicago
Force. He said, 'Sarni, I know you played
football in high school, but these girls look
like they mean business: I took that as a
challenge and emailed the General Manager,
50
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
Linda Bache. By February 2007, I was a
member of the team:'
Since becoming the starting quarterback
for the Chicago Force, Grisafe has amassed
an impressive 50-6 overall record. Her
quarterback rating (which would place her
alongside some of the best players in NFL
history) is a whopping 131.3, and she was
selected to the All-Star team in her first five
seasons. In her best performance as a pro,
Grisafe threw for over 500 yards and seven
Great moments
on the field can feel
like a really good song,
the rest of the world
fades away ...
''
touchdowns. Amazing, yes. But ESPN hasn't
reported a word of it.
"Exposure is a difficult thing right now
because of the amount of [sports] competing for attention;' Grisafe explains. "So, it's a
challenge to introduce anything that people
don't already know about. (But] I challenge
ESPN and any other major sports network
to come watch a game. I am (also] really
excited about the documentary, The Tackle
Girls (to be released in 2014), and honored
they've chosen to feature my personal story.
It will do a lot to raise awareness for women's
football and hopefully inspire young girls
to continue to play the sport they love into
their adult years:•
Though the sports bug bit her first, Grisafe's love for music was always lurking in
the background. "I grew up around music
since both my parents and my aunt were in
a group and sang professionally;' she says. "I
always enjoyed it, but didn't see myself as a
singer or musician until I was in college:'
Grisafe's style of music is both gritty and
folksy, a combination that she likes to call
"provo-rock" because it's both provocative
and honest. "People always assume that I
am very tough and kind of a brute, but I'm a
softy at heart;' she laughs.
Her current album, Atlantis is a good
reflection of this. "The concept behind
Atlantis is a place where nobody has to be
afraid of who they are or of following their
dreams;' Grisafe explains. "Sometimes it's
hard to dive in and take the risk, but because
there are so many people who believe in love
and supporting humanity, we can become a
more connected and supportive world:'
Opening for Chely Wright is just one
of the highlights in Grisafe's music career
thus far. "I was really excited as I have a lot
of respect for the courage and vulnerability
(Wright] displayed in telling her story to the
world. My [own] sexuality affected me as a
songwriter at first, because I was dishonest
with myself for so long and I believe music
must come from an honest place. One of the
first songs I wrote when I really decided to
be honest with who I was and what I was
feeling at the time is 'Carousel; which is on
the Atlantis album:'
With both her music career and football career going well these days, Grisafe is
a very busy woman. "My football manager
and coaching staff, and my music manager
know that each are equally important to
me. Over this past year we've evolved our
strategy to focus on sports and music as
equally part of my overall brand instead of
separate activities:'
In other words, Grisafe doesn't plan on
quitting either one anytime soon. And why
should she:>
"Great moments on the field can feel like
a really good song, the rest of the world
fades away and the only thing you are aware
of is that you are feeling something deeply.
(But] the best is when the two come together like when I sang the national anthem
and then took the field to win the World
Championship:'•
FEATURES/
F
or those who haven't had the pleasure of talking with her one-on-one,
it may be hard to reconcile JD Samson's public persona with the way she comes
across in private. The hip, androgynous Samson, known for proudly sporting a pencil-thin
mustache, also known for singing-and
on
occasion screaming-some
pretty confrontational lyrics ("My gift to you is a mercy
fuck;' anyone?). But away from the spotlight,
the former Le Tigre member and current
leader of MEN is actually tentative, funny
and shy. More than anything, she comes
across as genuine and easy to talk with.
For the uninitiated, Samson, who grew
up in rural Ohio and went to college at
Sarah Lawrence, is a musician, a producer
-DJ-remixer, a performance artist, and an
activist. (She cites her grandmother and
Lynnee Breedlove of the queercore band
Tribe 8 as two of her biggest influences.)
Samson joined Le Tigre after the trio had
already experienced some success. Since
their breakup in 2005, Kathleen Hannawho was often considered the leader of the
democracy that was Le Tigre-has
kept
a low profile, battling illness for almost a
decade. Just recently, she released the album
Run Fast with a new band, The Julie Ruin.
Samson, meanwhile, cofounded the band
MEN and has emerged as their frontwoman-a role she embraces with mixed feelings.
"It was difficult;' she says about making the
transition from being a member of one band
to being the leader of another. 'Tm really shy
sometimes. It's fun to feel the music and
dance and be [part of] it, but for me to have
the mic and have to address the audience
makes me trip over myself a lot. I enjoy
collaborating more than being a leader. I
really love being able to say, 'Do you think
this sucks:" And then have someone I trust
say, 'This is amazing' or 'Let's switch this
part of it: I've always been a natural collaborator, and I think it's really an important
part of my process:'
MEN's sophomore album, Labor (released
in October), differs from their debut, Talk
About Body, in several ways. "With [this]
record, we lost a couple of band members
to their original careers, visual arts and
writing;' Samson says. 'And [we] knew that
we were making a record for an audience. I
think that was the biggest difference. It's
always strange to make a sophomore record,
because you have all these expectations
from your fans and for yourself:' Johanna
Fateman, who, as the third member of Le
Tigre, played a big role in Talk About Body,
was less directly involved in Labor. Samson
has clearly emerged as the leader of MEN,
reluctantly or not. Although the core of the
band is now Samson and multi-instrumentalist Michael O'Neill, "with every tour, we
kind of bring other people into the project
and [they] become collaborators;' she says.
"So we've been working with Lee Free, who
used to play with [Beach], and also Tami
Hart, who had a band, Making Friendz.
I've known Tami for a long time. We also
brought in outside producers for this record,
so that was a new element. We worked with
Triple Exchange, Alex Suarez, and Yuksek,
who are all pretty great, established producers and writers:'
That song is
the first love song
I've ever written
in my life.
THE L LI
of writing this record, which is one of the
reasons it's called Labor;' Samson explains.
"It was very hard work, and very much about
emotional processing:' An example of this
would be the disc's first single, 'All the Way
Thru:' Samson says,"That song is the first love
song I've ever written in my life;' says Samson.
"I felt like it was such a statement, to put out
a love song-for me at least- [because] I've
been so focused on making political music. It's
about my girlfriend that I'm with now. And it
was one of those things where I wrote it in five
minutes and sang it in five minutes. It's kind
of about the idea of being done with having
relationships that aren't going to last because
you're in them for the wrong reasons-and
finding yourself in the right relationship and
making yourself as vulnerable as you can be:'
Samson also says that she and O'Neill
were originally going to call the new album
"work:' But then it dawned on her that if
they did, seeing as they're called MEN,
there might be too many comparisons to
the massive '80s band Men at Work. At the
suggestion that she would've had to include
a version of Men at Work's No. l hit"Down
Under;' she cracks up and, without missing
a beat, replies, "That would have a whole
different meaning:• (menmakemusic.com) •
''
As to her role in MEN, and O'Neill's,
Samson laughs nervously. "I mostly have
been like the chief of the band, I guess, [but]
I don't want to be a dictator or something. I
write all the words and melodies. I'll make
a beat and maybe, like, a little [demo of the
song]. Then I'll be, like, 'Michael, will you
play this bass part on live bass, like this, really
funky, with a walk-down here, and bring it
up for the chorus:" Or whatever. And he's
really good at instrumentation, so he can do
that straightaway:'
Labor also differs from MEN's first album
in that it's a more personal effort. This may
be hard to recognize when you first hear it,
since it's largely an electronic album. But if
you study the lyrics, it becomes obvious that
the tide can be taken in more ways than one.
"I learned a lot about myself in the process
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
53
FEATURES/
For one thing, as most readers no doubt
know, it gained her a huge lesbian following.
And for another, the deep-voiced brunette
caught the eye of first-time director Stacie
Passon and producer Rose Troche for the
lead in their project Concussion. Her exceptional performance as Abby in that film has
garnered her notice around the globe and
even some Oscar buzz, to add to her 2004
Emmy nomination for Calamity Jane and
several theater award nominations.
Concussion explores the sexual metamorphosis of a suburban mom who decides to
change her life after she receives a blow to
the head. Impelled by her own misplaced
fury at her son-who
threw the offending
baseball-and
a stifling dissatisfaction with
her life, the former interior designer decides
to flip a N.Y.C. loft, which ends up housing
her new career as a hooker. Weigert is mesmerizing as the desolate woman whose wife
(Julie Fain Lawrence) has completely shut
down. With its comic vignettes conveying
the absurdity of modern-day parenting, the
film is a most impressive display of Weigert's range and depth. Passon's brilliant
choice to make prostitution Abby's means
to fulfillment gives us plenty of lesbian sex
scenes-sometimes
kind of icky, sometimes
super-hot (especially the scenes with one of
the neighborhood mothers played by Maggie Siff). This role should seal the deal for
Weigert as a lesbian icon.
This past June, on Opening Night at the
Frameline Film Festival in San Francisco,
Weigert told the audience at the Castro
Theatre that she'd tried hard not to take the
role in Concussion because she was scared
of it. When Curve caught up with Weigert
the following day, she explains, "It's funny, I
don't have a way of doing anything but with
my whole heart. I don't have this thing that I
slightly envy but also don't even understand
in other people-which
is to say, they can
represent a thing mechanically and be fine
with that. I can't do it:'
Part of her trepidation stemmed from the
many sex scenes. Handled badly, they could
have been a nightmare, or, as she told the
Castro audience, soft porn-ish, which would
have been worse. "I knew that if I was going
to be playing all these sex scenes, that I would
be there for that;' she confides to Curve. "I
don't know any other way of putting it, that I
would just be there for that, and that I would
have to go through all of that;' she laughs. "I
don't have a door that closes where I can go
bump, chicka, bump, baaaa:'
A discriminating viewer herself, she
also perceives the lack of quality in lesbian
filmmaking. "Sadly, [I had] not seen many
lesbian films that I thought were [pause]
dimensional. There are some, of course ...
there are some. But there's a real paucity.
Concussion is not a salacious tale. In the
wrong hands, it could be:'One of the aspects
of working with Passon that she came to
value most was that the director didn't"disallow" her intelligence, and Weigert was
able to collaborate with her. Still, before
filming began, there was no work of Passon's that she could review, and she'd have
to trust an unknown director. "I just didn't
know what I would be filtered into. I knew
I was going into a meat grinder of some
kind, I just didn't know what I would come
out as on the other side. It was just a real
leap of faith. It's been wonderful, the way
''
I don't have
a way of doing
anything but
with my
whole heart.
''
it's played out, because it's been a beautiful
example of 'Do the thing that frightens
you and life will reward you for that choice:
I think we're all meant to do the thing that
frightens us:' For Weigert, she knew she
was hooked when she started dreaming
about Abby. "It wasn't letting me go:'
As for the shooting of the sex scenes,
some were scripted, such as her encounter
with her Sons of Anarchy co-star Maggie
Siff, others were not. She told the Castro
audience that the final sex scene was rushed
because of the setting sun. She thought the
actor was reticent, which turned out to be
wrong, but she felt she needed to take command-a result she calls "white hot:'
Stacie Passon had been experiencing her
THE L LI
own doubts as a first-time director. "I knew
I was going to go toward mumblecore because
I wasn't a confident director;' Passon told
Curve at Frameline, but Weigert's work inspired her. "She was such a confident actor
with her range. She was the person who
could go and do all that Calamity Jane stuff.
She just took it to such an internal place that
it just flowed from there:' In the end, she felt
Weigert's performance was "amazing. I love
her. She's terrific:'
Weigert's seamless performance as a mother
comes entirely from her skill as an actor. She
has no children. "I don't have that thing where I
really must have kids. I'm not for some reason
one of those women:'
Her talent also allows her to carry off one
of the tougher roles-a drunk. Weigert's turn
as Calamity Jane rises to the level of Shakespeare's truth-telling fools. Lesbian audiences,
so long starved for representation in history
and film, were thrilled that Deadwood chose
to make explicit the love story between Jane
and the prostitute-turned-brothel owner Joanie
Stubbs (Kim Dickens).
"It's tremendously hard for [Jane] to allow
herself to be vulnerable with Joanie;' says
Weigert. "It's a huge challenge. She fights it
tooth and nail. Those scenes are very endearing to look at, just how tough it is for her to
trust a blessed thing, and that she can't but
give over to it:'
Weigert likes to compare the "crazy long
scene" after their first kiss, when Jane tries
to recite her dream to Joanie, with Brando's
iconic scene from A Streetcar Named Desire.
"It was like one long version of [in voice]
'Stella!!!' It was like that-it was like [in voice]
"Aaaaaaaaw!" with a million words inside of
it. She doesn't even know what she's doing
and it's great. She's on her knees in front of
her and saying it and saying it, and they end
up kissing and it's done ... It could just be the
urgency of saying what she does not have the
emotional vocabulary to say, really. She does
not have the words to say Tve fallen in love
with you; or anything even close to that, but
she can [in Calamity Jane's voice] kinda say
at lot of other things ... and that's just what
comes out, because it's what's in there:'
She's surprised at the lesbian following
for Calamity Jane, "because that is not a sexy
character;' and equally surprised to hear the
character called butch. "It's funny to me even
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
55
TURES/
THE L LIST
to say she's butch. She's just surviving in this
form:' She does acknowledge that Jane hates
to wear a dress. "She gets very mad when
they make her put one on;' she laughs.
"It's interesting because it just has a lot to
do with my sense of how love works, which
is sort of outside of categories. I think Jane
was very much in love with Bill Hickock, in a
sort of fantasy way perhaps, but I think that
her love of Joanie ... it's a place she found love.
I don't know that it's inside of any definition.
I wouldn't say that it necessarily meant that
the Calamity Jane we were depicting was a
gay character. It meant that she found love in
Joanie Stubbs and Joanie found love in her. It
was so organic:'
Since that fateful day in L.A., Weigert's
career has skyrocketed. She now has a reel
that includes supporting roles with George
Clooney and Cate Blanchett ( The Good
German), Halle Berry and Benicia del Toro
(Things We Lost in the Fire),Renee Zellweger
(My One and Only), and Philip Seymour
Hoffman (Synecdoche,New York).
Next up, she will continue in her television role as Ally Lowen, the high-heeled
attorney who defends a Hells Angels-ish
gunrunning motorcycle gang on Sons of
Anarchy. In film, she has a role (Vicky the
Tree) in the upcoming comedy Gods Behaving Badly, directed by Marc Turtletaub
(Little Miss Sunshine). The cast, an all-star
ensemble, includes Sharon Stone (Aphrodite),
Edie Falco (Artemis) and Christopher
Walken (Zeus). She also has another indie
film coming out, as yet untitled, where she
plays the mother of a gay son-again working with a first-time director-because
she
found the script intelligent and intriguing.
But whatever her upcoming work entails,
it'll be worth watching: for her looks that
say a thousand words, her tough exterior,
and her sweet, bewildered, melt-in-themiddle vulnerability. (robinweigert.com) •
56
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2013
M
ultitalented, charming (and more
than likely tipsy) Hannah Hart
has no trouble garnering a dedicated audience, whether it's online or in person.
The "small business owner" unintentionally
created a YouTube sensation when she popped
open a bottle of wine one night and indulged
a friend's request for a drunk cooking video.
Hart subsequently embarked on a whirlwind
journey that has found her touring the world,
and of course, capturing every laugh-worthy
moment on video along the way.
Hart didn't always have her mind set on
becoming the web chefbian that she is today.
As a kid, Hart dreamed of one day becoming
a teacher. She was a "big reader" and enjoyed
putting pen to paper on the side. While she
did not end up teaching in a school, she is
undoubtedly educating people around the
world on her most important piece of advice:
To "make the most out of their lives" by doing what they love. Hart has no reservations
about pursuing her own dreams, regardless
of how unplanned they are. What would she
say to her childhood self who one day envisioned becoming a schoolteacher? "You're doing great, stay you" and "do your homework on
time:' Is there any better advice to giver
With the realization that My Drunk Kitchen,
58
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
a show that wittily "revolves around off the
cuff kind of improv;' had become an international hit, Hart decided to expand her horizons. The always upbeat lesbian, who enjoys
"long meandering walks, impromptu dance
parties, artisanal cheeses, and ladies," now
has a collection of online videos not only
offering drunk cooking tips, like how to make
the "Sad Nachos" pictured here, but also doles
out slightly intoxicated Advicefrom the Hart,
shares creative music with fans, and of course
uploads laugh-out-loud comedy that will
keep you clicking "next" for hours.
Offiine, Hart recently completed the first
leg of her world tour, Hello, Harto, which
started last April. Hannah and her crew
traveled across the U.S. and Canada for three
months, meeting fans at every stop. After
"getting feedback from the audience asking
for a tour to travel to their kitchens;' Hannah
did just that. Her travel "vlogs" record every
moment of the unplanned hilarity. Hart, intent on making hearts swell with more than
just her cooking, is also dedicated to helping
others. Stops on the Hello, Harto tour don't
merely involve cooking, they also engage
fans in hands-on volunteer meet-ups. Hart
enthusiasts engaged in a number of food
drives, where thousands of pounds of food
were packed by the hands of each and every
volunteer, proving there is definitely more
to Hart than her unique brand of drunken
comedy.
Next on the list of Hart's endeavors is leg
two of Hello, Harto, where she plans to visit
fans in kitchens across Europe. Bon Voyage!
(hartoandco.com) •
TRY THIS AT HOME:
PEAR & GINGER
DROP
INGREDIENTS
2 oz vodka
1/4 oz Clear Creek Pear Brandy
1/2 oz lemon juice
1/2 oz lime juice
1 oz simple syrup
1 oz ginger puree
METHOD
Pour into a pint glass with ice,
shake and strain into a large (10 oz)
sugar-rimmed martini glass.
P
ortland Oregon's Lucy Brennan has
been voted one of the best mixologists in the country by Food and
Wine, Bon Appetit and Playboy magazines.
She's known for creating simple drinks with
sometimes offbeat ingredients. At her Mint
and 820 restaurants, she uses mostly local,
fresh ingredients and liquors from local
distilleries. Lucy is the author of Hip Sips:
Modern Cocktails to Raise Your Spirits. She
shares with us her recipe for a festive Ginger
Drop cocktail.
Tell us about the Curve cocktail.
It's a twist on a Lemon Drop with a bit of
ginger puree. It's festive. Ginger is a good
flavor to use around this time of year. And I
60
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
was thinking, "Ladies like Lemon Drops:' It's
a great pre-Thanksgiving or pre-Christmas
dinner drink.
What's your inspiration when creating a
new drink?
I like to keep things simple. I like to keep
my drinks with less than five ingredients. If
you put too much into a drink it makes it
unbalanced.
What makes a drink balanced?
It isn't too sweet. It isn't too tart. Nothing
pops out, so that means it's balanced. It's like
cooking to me. You have to make sure everything is equal. Not overbearing. Typically
when you see sugar on the rim, it's going to
mean the drink inside is going to be a little
bit on the tarter side.
Of all the drinks you've invented, what's
your favorite?
I'd say the Avocado Daiquiri because it was
pushing the envelope back in the day. When
I first made it people thought I was crack
crazy, which I am. That was about 15 years
ago. It took 2- 3 years to perfect it. It's one
of my classic cocktails now. That's my ugly
duckling that's turned into a swan. People
come from around the country to taste it.
What are the essentials for a home bar?
A shaker and a pint glass. You shake drinks
because you want all of the ingredients to
marry together. If I weren't to shake it and
just pour everything into a glass, it wouldn't
taste very good. Also, a muddler. A peeler,
lemons, limes, good vodka. I have a list in
Hip Sips for people to put a bar together.
What do you recommend if someone is
throwing a party around the holidays?
I know Christmas is upon us when we' re
going to have a Champagne Cocktail.
Where do lesbians go wrong?
I am not answering that question in a lesbian
magazine! No! I plead the Fifth. I'd like to
date!
I mean when throwing a cocktail party.
Too many ingredients. Keep the drinks pretty
basic and well balanced. And don't offer too
many cocktails, offer just a couple. Like a
Champagne Cocktail and the Ginger Drop.
Just have fun making drinks. Use local ingredients and fresh fruit instead of a sour mix. Buy
my book and come to Portland and come say hi
at Mint and 820. (mintand820.com) •
Three Women/
One Table
I
magine yourself seated around a wellappointed table (plenty of flowers,plenty of
wine), surrounded by women who share a
common interest in the culinary arts, exchanging
conversation and enjoying innovative, seasonal
dishes-a thematic series of flavors inspired by
different regions around the world.
Welcome to One Table Brooklyn, a lesbiancentric gathering that aims to indulge the
gastronomically inclined. The event was created
by thirty-somethings Nekisia Davis, Betsy
Devine, and Deanna Maher, a local trio well
versed in the delights and demands of New
York's restaurant scene.
"Weve all worked places that weve loved,
but we would've done things a little differently;'
says Davis, who heads up One Tables front-ofhouse operation."This is our opportunity to let
our work shine-to 'play restaurant' and create
an environment that we love and is inviting to
people. And theres a common thread among
them: They like good food and wine:'
The three women met a few years ago working at the now-famous Brooklyn Flea, a Saturday
market in the Fort Greene neighborhood that
hosts some of the best food vendors in the city.
Devine was representing Salvatore Bklyn, her
Italian-inspired artisanal cheese stand, when she
met Maher, who fronted the Shucks clam stand,
in addition to her gigs at two top Manhattan
restaurants, Prune and Buvette. Likewise, Davis introduced herself while selling her delicious
small-batch Early Bird Granola.
From there on in, the three found an instant
kinship they compare to "crazy mad love affairs"
(in a strictly platonic sense). Then, at a casual
hangout during Pride 2012, Maher came up
with the idea of creating an intimate culinaryand woman-centric event that would serve up
an exciting alternative to the bar scene.
''Although this is primarily a dinner, our
little pop-up restaurant is definitely a place for
people to meet each other;' says Maher.
The delights of a
queer-centric
supper club.
BY KELSY CHAUVIN
Davis adds, "Part of the reason were doing
this is so women can get around a table and
talk and have a conversation, and not have that
cliquey feeling you get at a bar, or feeling like
to walk up to someone you should have a line
prepared. This is just a dinner party, and you
sit around a table and have a conversation like
regular human beings, not like the crazy people
we may turn into when we go to a bar:'
Patrons agree-many
of them attending
One Table for the fantastic food more than
anything else."The queer part was least intriguing;' says wine specialist and foodie Jess Kiefer.
"I came more to learn what people are doing in
supper dubs:'
Since the first event, in February 2013,
One Table has steadily grown in popularity thanks to some incredible (and entirely
justified) word of mouth. For $85, up to 25
advance-reservation guests share at least 10
prix-fixe dishes, often served family-style,
with paired cocktails and wine. So far, the
three chefs have invented menus inspired by
Asian, rustic- Italian, and Corsican fare, and
have invited guest stars to participate-such
as Top Chef alum Ashley Merriman, who
now heads the kitchen at Manhattan's famed
Waverly Inn. Some recent standout dishes
include a squid-leek crostini, a ramp-eggguanciale appetizer, Sicilian veal with lemon
leaf, and a fennel-sardine grilled pizza.
One Table is held roughly every six weeks
at various restaurants in Brooklyn, and Maher
notes that both new and familiar faces appear
at each event, which speaks to the chefs' constant evolution and inventiveness. "We get to
be creative in doing things that we really eajoy;'
says Maher. "Like putting together a table and
a menu, forming great food and cocktails, and
creating a really nice environment for people to
be together. It's so rewarding to envision something for our community, and then making it
happen:' (onetablebrooklyn.com) •
FEATURES/
W
hen you think a decadent dessert, marshmallows might be
the last things that come to
mind. However, Tricia Medina, the creator
of Fluff It! Marshmallows, is about to change
the way you think about the sweetly spongy
confections forever.
Dense, rich, and delicious, handmade marshmallows have little in common with their storebought counterparts-and
Medina has taken
them to the next level by introducing a variety
of flavors that will make you a mallow convert.
Among her many delectable delicacies are the
Peanut Butter Cookie Marshmallow, in which
a smooth, cocoa-flavored marshmallow sits
atop a rich peanut butter cookie, covered in
a layer of milk chocolate and topped off with
peanut butter crumbles. The Maui Wowie
Marshmallow is a pifia colada lover's dream,
made with real pineapple juice and rolled in
sweet coconut flakes. The piece de resistanceis
Medina's Horchata Marshmallow, rich and
creamy with a cinnamon flavor than mimics
the Spanish drink. Eat it on its own or drop
one in a cup of steaming Mexican hot chocolate: Muy bueno!
While Medina has created a thriving business-spurred
on in equal parts by her supportive partner of 16 years, Hazel Arce, and
a hugely successful Kickstarter campaign,
through which she more than doubled her
goal-she is an accidental lesbian marshmallow maven. It was the combination of a friendly
competition among her co-workers and a desire
to reconnect with others, following the loss of
her beloved grandmother that helped her find
her passion and her path-and proved that life
could be sweeter than she ever imagined.
How did your passion for making marshmallows start?
It began with a monthly baking contest at
work among some of us managers with big
egos-we are a competitive group. The ladies
in the office chose marshmallow as the secret
ingredient and I came home determined to
make my own marshmallows, instead of buying them and placing them in a recipe. My
idea was to make a strawberry marshmallow
on top of a sugar cookie dipped in chocolate,
and it would be perfect. And yes, I did win
that month's contest.
How did making marshmallows help
you following the loss of your grandmother?
My grandmother passed in September 2012.
We were extremely dose-she was my best
friend, the every other beat of my heart. The
FO
last year of her life she showed signs of dementia, so I became more involved in her care and
had to make some hard decisions. I truly had a
hard time coping with her passing because we
had a routine, and I was so focused on that routine-until the contest came about and I made
others smile. I realized making the marshmallows sort of put me in my zen. So now I'm able
to think of the good memories I have of her
and not focus on what I could have done. I'm
able to work it out in my marshmallow therapy.
How do you select your flavors?
I do a lot of research online, to see what's out
there and if I can make it better. I have asked
on Facebook what flavors people would like
to try, and a lot of the employees at work like
to give suggestions, like a butterscotch marshmallow on top of an oatmeal cookie, or another
suggestion is a Mountain Dew marshmallow
rolled in Doritos, but I think I'll try them both
sans Doritos.
Your Horchata Marshmallows are incredible! Do you have a favorite flavor?
My favorite flavor is my Lemon Bar Marshmallow, on a sugar cookie. I love lemon pudding
and this just hits the spot.
What is in the future for Fluff It! as you
can imagine it?
My vision is a marshmallow coffee shop
where customers come in and grab a great
cup of coffee and a cookie fluff and enjoy
the ambience. Also, that people will come to
me to cater their special events, such as weddings, graduations, and get-togethers. We
always see cakes and cupcakes, but what
about an amazing marshmallow bar in multiple flavors or colors!
Fluff It! is such a great name. What does
it mean?
[Laughs] Some days you just want to say"Fluff
It!" and have a marshmallow.
Do you think marshmallows get the
respect they deserve, and should cupcakes be watching their backs?
Marshmallows just come to mind for campfires or hot cocoa, but they are so much more.
The flavors are endless and the sweetness is
just sweet enough to satisfy that sweet tooth.
I love a good cupcake, but sometimes all
that icing is just too much, and one Coconut
Marshmallow will do the trick. So, yes, cupcakes better watch out-the mallow craze is
coming. (fluffitbakery.com) •
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
63
Of Wine and
W-omen
A French couple makes
wine and movie magic.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
D
·rector Fiona Cunningham-Reid had
·ust finished the film Kenya Murder
Mystery, which had been a draining
experience. She and her girlfriend, Edna, went
to stay with friends in Collias, in the south of
France. There, they met "Les Cabotines;' winemakers Jo Befort and Carole LeBlanc. "It was
winter, and the day after we met them they
had already persuaded us to help cut back
their vines-in the snow!" recalls Cunningham-Reid. "I had my stills camera and just
shot some video images, which unknowingly
became the first day of filming::
The filmmaker was intrigued "by their
commitment, by their delicious wine, and
by the women themselves. I soon realized
there was a possibility to make a gentle and
intimate film that could be done without
deadlines, with very little money and no
broadcaster involved. I could shoot it myself,
and through Carole and Jo we could immerse
ourselves in a totally different culture and
actually enjoy the whole filmmaking process.
We even have a home in France now!"
Though the women-both
behind the
camera and in front of it-are
lesbians,
Cunningham-Reid sees the story of Wine,
Women & Friends as universal. "It's about
love, conviviality and sharing. Too often the
feel-good factor in gay and lesbian lives is not
portrayed. Carole and Jo are successful out
lesbians in a small conservative village ... !
loved Carole and Jo's whole ethos, and hope
64
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
the film might show other lesbians that it is
possible to get on with your dream without
having to compromise. Winemaking is a very
macho affair in France, but so what? Go for it
and don't compromise yourself. It does help
that they do actually make good wine:'
As for the wine, pour yourself a glass of
your favorite and sit back and enjoy the fruits
of another couple's labor.
"Before I actually made wine, I had a poetic
image of it;' says LeBlanc, a tall, blond French
Canadian. "We started this project never realizing how much work was involved:' LeBlanc,
like the rest of us, fell in love with labels and
vintages and the romance that seems to spring
from the bottles as soon as they're uncorked.
She and Befort, a petite brunette from Alsace
whose grandmother did have some winemaking experience, started their wine adventure
six years ago. Their dream was to produce
excellent wine, supported only by their passion-and their friends. This lyrical film follows their winemaking and gently explores
their relationships with those around them,
and each other.
"We can't get on m the kitchen," says
LeBlanc. And yet their oenological adventure
is a success. Befort is in charge of the vines
and the harvest ( she has a second job as a veterinarian); LeBlanc commandeers the cellar.
And as one friend observes, when asked if
she ever doubted the success of the venture,
what Carole wants, Carole gets.
Harvest time brings their friends together
and they indulge in sampling the wine as
cicadas gently hum in the background. As
for not getting on in the kitchen, well, this
couple gets on just fine everywhere, and the
word "conviviality;' which crops up in the film
numerous times, is also the keynote of their
relationship.
"Tomorrow we start [harvesting] the Grenache;' says Befort. "It rained so we had to
weed just before the harvest:'
"Me, not we;' LeBlanc says, laughing, and
plucks something out of a pot on the stove
to taste.
The film has struck a chord with
audiences and critics, winning prizes at
wine film festivals around the world. It
has also been bought by the Bibliotheque
Nationale in Paris. In vino veritas, indeed.
(lescabotinesfilm.com) •
T
he aroma of fresh baked cookies fills
the air of a Tampa Bay, Fla. food
truck rally one sunny afternoon.
One might think there's a bakery nearby baking cookies, but the sweet aroma is fl.owing
from a bright blue truck with the name "Betty
Rocker Bakery" painted across it. Food trucks
are becoming increasingly common in the
U.S., but this is no ordinary food truck and
the desserts are not ordinary either. Professional baker, caterer, food enthusiast and out
lesbian Chasity Saleh is the woman behind
Betty Rocker Bakery and she has taken her
passion for baking and hit the road.
Saleh began baking for friends and family
but it wasn't until someone told her, "You're
not Betty Crocker ...with all your tattoos
you're Betty Rocker!" that it occurred to her
to turn her talent for confectionary into a
business. That was 10 years ago and she has
been baking ever since. It wasn't until late
2011, however, that she decided to venture
into the food truck business. "I never wanted
to go the online route either and very rarely
will ship my baked goods;' she says."I like them
to be the freshest possible and something about
shipping a cupcake, in my opinion, takes away
from that:'
From Drunken Brownies to Cheddar Bacon
Apple Pie, Saleh bakes all her desserts in her
food truck, incorporating different ingredients that normally wouldn't go togetherand she isn't shy about adding liquor to any
dessert. She mixes chilies and chocolate in
cookies, soaks bacon in whiskey, and incorporates bourbon into her brownies, hence
the "drunken" brownie. Her cakes are also
"boozie" (for instance, The King Boozie is
a chocolate cupcake with banana liquor and
a peanut butter cream frosting swirl, yum!)
and she pours a good amount of chocolate
vodka into her red velvet cupcakes.
But perhaps her most unconventional
treat is her buffalo chicken cupcake.
"I love making savory 'cupcakes: One of
them is a buffalo chicken wing cupcake. I
make a spicy corn cake swirled with buffalo
wing sauce that is then topped with either
a blue cheese or ranch sour cream-cream
cheese frosting. On top of that I garnish it
with a little bit of pulled buffalo chicken:'
"I think that my desserts are unique in
the quality of ingredients in them and the
freshness factor;' says Saleh. "I am the only
bakery food truck in my area, or really that I
know of that actually bakes all of their items
directly on their truck. Nothing is better than
the smell of cookies baking or the taste of a
warm cookie right from the oven and with
Betty Rocker Bakery you can get that! Other
bakery trucks have to bake their items off site
somewhere:'
In addition to baking, Saleh also caters
and attends food truck rallies in Tampa Bay.
But she can do more than just sweets from
cooking whole turkeys and chickens to making breads and sandwiches, Saleh refuses to
cook anything fried in her truck and only
uses local and organic products.
"After managing a sports bar and wing
place for years, I couldn't bear the thought
of anything fried on my truck;' she says.
"Plus I kind of like to balance the naughty
sweets out with healthier meal options!"
(facebook.com/ chasitycakes) •
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
65
She's
the
on the rise.
Nicole Pacent's star is
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FEATURES/
COVER
TURES/COVER
STORY
I
t's all happening for Nicole Pacent.
The petite actor and general dynamo
has so much going on this monthfrom the next big thing by lesbian director
Nicole Conn, She Walks in Beauty, to the
video clip for songstress Jen Foster's next
hit, "She," to this gorgeous photo shoot for
Curve in Los Angeles.
"For a long time, I didn't really know how
to model;' says the Angelina Jolie look-alike.
But these days, Pacent is completely confident and at home in front of the camera -and
she's ridiculously and deliciously photogenic.
The Connecticut native moved to Hollywood
to be a star, though it's taken a little longer
than she'd hoped for her dreams to come
true. Projects have come and gone, as have
relationships with lovers, agents and managers. She's spent time "reclaiming" herself and
training in yoga, and has come back to her
craft in an empowering way,joining a Shakespearean repertory theatre company in April
and taking such physically and intellectually
challenging roles as the noble Olivia, who
falls for a cross-dressing Viola in Twelfth
Night; Hermia, the beautiful but headstrong
daughter in A Midsummer Night's Dream;
Imogen, the virtuous and tender princess
in Cymbeline; and the innocent yet ethical
Miranda in The Tempest.
"These roles have been life changing for
me. It was exactly what I needed. I feel like
I'm getting better and better, as a person and
as an actor. I feel more grounded and mature
than I did three years ago, more ready to
handle what's coming:'
And what is coming for Pacent could
be considerable. The New York-based
web series Anyone But Me is what lesbians
know Pacent for, but she has her sights set
firmly on film now-and
with any luck,
and the right project, we'll be seeing Pacent
on the big screen soon. One such project
could be Nicole Conn's next opus, She
Walks in Beauty.
"Nicole Pacent and the camera are one;'
says Conn, the director oflesbian festival fave
A Perfect Ending. "Her magnetic chemistry
lights up the moment she hears 'action: Not
only does the camera love her, you cannot
help but adore her very warm, outgoing,
and positive personality. I'm very excited to
work with her in our future projects. Like
Jessica Clark, she's going to break out, and
we'd love to be the ones who introduce her
to the world:'
The details about Pacent's character in She
Walks in Beauty are under wraps right now,
but she's excited enough to share that she
has a featured role, and that the story is set
in Hollywood and spans two different time
periods, as we follow the fortunes of a female
player in Tinseltown.
In this photo shoot, which channels
the nostalgia of the golden age of cinema,
Pacent is not just modeling-she's
playing
characters. One is an earnest Mulholland
Drive-type ingenue; another is channeling
Katharine Hepburn; and yet another, her
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TURES/COVER
STORY
favorite, is a cynical and noirish screen
siren "with nothing in her fridge but vodka.
She has attitude and confidence and swagger:'
She'll also be working with Wingspan
Pictures ( the company behind Jen Foster's
"She" video) on their upcoming feature,
Love Is All You Need. "I can't specify the
role yet, but I will, indeed, be working on
the project. They've already released the
short film version of the project [currently
available on YouTube], which is incredibly moving and unique, and has amassed
millions of views from all over the world.
They are a truly stellar production company, and I am really looking forward to
working with them:'
For an actor who has been "knocked on
her ass" a few times by the vicissitudes of the
film industry, Pacent herself remains starstruck. Her current onscreen crush is Rachel
McAdams. "I love her;' Pacent almost sings.
"Do I want to be her or do I want to be with
her?'' she muses. "She's awesome:'
Identifying as bisexual, and currently single,
Pacent remains dedicated to the advancement
of equality for the LGBT community. When
DOMA was repealed, she says she was so
relieved she "couldn't stop crying" for 24
hours. "You fight this fight for so long-it has
shaped my life-and you don't know how
it's going to feel when that goal is achieved. I
am so incredibly grateful to be a part of this
community, even if the 'B' is an afterthought
sometimes:'
Pacent aims to increase the visibility of
bisexuals and, like the actor Amber Heard,
is more than happy to go on the record
about that. "I would really like to create a
project that addresses this head on, because
it's so invisible. The trans community, in the
last year or two, has actually gotten more
visibility than the bisexual community.
When I look at the LGBT banner, it's like
we're just in there, but still really misunderstood. There needs to be something put out
there in the media, in entertainment, where
it can finally be taken seriously and seen as
a legitimate sexuality:'
And just as with her career, she's happy
to be a part of the process. 'Tm not putting
an end beat on this yet, and I'm happy to be
where I am right now:' (nicolepacent.com) •
70
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
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T
he invitation to Rancho La Puerta
couldn't have come at a better time.
Months of work and personal
stress had left me physically and mentally
exhausted. This legendary, all-inclusive spa in
Tecate, Mexico, just 45 miles southeast of San
Diego-with
fitness classes, nature hikes,
vegetarian food, and ( most appealing)
massage and spa treatments-was
just
what my body needed.
Founded in 1940 by health pioneers
Deborah and Edmond Szekely, Rancho La
Puerta has been repeatedly voted the No. 1
destination spa in the world by the readers of
Travel + Leisure magazine. Deborah is now
91-and
living proof of the benefits of fitness and good nutrition.
This was my first visit to anything more
than a day spa, and (after the massages) I
was looking forward to a few days of yoga,
meditation, hiking and healthy organic food.
Most guests come for a full seven days, but
I arrived midweek, just as lunch was being
served. I'd been advised that the portions
72
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
were small and that I should pack some
snacks, but as I looked down at my tray,
overflowing with gluten-free pizza, cucumber soup, tuna, cottage cheese and the most
beautiful and delicious salad I've ever eaten,
I couldn't imagine what more I could want.
The other guests hustled around the dining
room in their yoga pants, fresh from one of
the more than 70 exercise classes-everything from the Bar Method to water exercise.
At lunch, I met executive chef Denise Roa.
If the place is magical, as many people say
it is, then Denise Roa must be a magician.
Roa is in charge of the menus, the visiting
chefs at the cooking school, and the special
culinary events. She first came to the ranch
to teach a Saturday cooking class, but the
moment she stood in the doorway, she knew
one day she would work here. Three years
later, as she was recovering from a failed
restaurant venture and the end of a 15-year
relationship, Roa was offered her dream job.
"I was going to turn 40 and I knew I had to
change my life;' she says. In her first year at
the ranch, she went from a size 16 to a size
8-primarily
from eating healthier and
getting more exercise-and says that for the
first time she found balance.
'Tm at peace;' she says. "I love what I do.
I feel privileged. I eat much better. I exercise.
I'm out in the garden every day. I believe the
transformation started because the place
where we are is very spiritual. Mt. Kuchumaa
has a lot of energy, and that energy frees you
and allows you to grow:'
Roa's sentiments were echoed over and
over again by the guests I met, many of
whom were on their 20th, even 30th visit.
The guests are mostly women and I met at
least seven mother-daughter duos. Some
people come to kick-start a healthy lifestyle, or for the relaxation, but a surprising
number come to reconnect with the friends
they've made on previous visits.
In addition to the regular activities and
workshops at the ranch, each week has a
theme with visiting instructors. I arrived
during writers' week and enjoyed sitting
FEATURES/
in on a few writing workshops and author
events at night.
Rancho La Puerta boasts a voluptuous
organic farm, and one of the most popular
hikes is a 6:30 a.m. four-mile round trip to the
garden for a fresh breakfast and garden tour.
Most of the food served at the spa is grown
right there. The manager of the organic garden, Salvador Tinajero, passionately shares
his knowledge and readily plucks a ripe
melon, some cinnamon basil, or a leek from
the rich soil for guests to sample.
Although I love to cook, signing up for a
cooking class is not something I would normally consider when I'm on vacation, but
after meeting Roa and touring the garden,
I was eager to see what I could learn at La
Cocina que Canta (the kitchen that sings),
the onsite cooking school.
Visiting chef Raghavan Iyer (who outed
himself to me almost as soon as I walked in
the door) was teaching us how to make an
Indian meal that included banana fritters,
poached halibut, tamarind date chutney,
and cashew pistachio bars. With such cool
things on the menu, I was a bit disappointed
to end up in the group making potato leek
soup. But soon I bonded with my co-cooks
and by the end we were laughing and joking
as we chopped potatoes, leeks, and Serrano
chilies and blended them into a soup that
was comforting, with a kick. Almost everyone complimented us on its flavor.
As we sat together sampling the delicious
food we had just created, I got a glimpse into
what Rancho La Puerta is all about. People
don't get enough opportunities in their lives
to feel supported, to encourage one another,
to explore personal growth, spirituality, creativity, and healthy living. As Denise Roa
says, "We always go back to food for comfort,
yet you have to fix the other parts of your life
to enjoy food. You have to breathe more. You
have to exercise. You have to give thanks:'
She's right and I was thankful for the
opportunity to have three days of comfort,
connection, and healthy food at Rancho La
Puerta. (rancholapuerta.com) •
TRA
T
he French surrealist Andre Breton
once described the art of celebrated
painter (and bisexual) Frida Kahlo
as "a ribbon around a bomb:' The comment
could as easily have been made about her
birthplace: vibrant, volatile and voluptuous
Mexico City.
Comprising 16 boroughs covering nearly
1,500 square kilometers (almost 600 square
miles, el Distrito Federal (el D.E) is crowded
with all the food, drink, music, art, culture,
history and business that it takes to keep its
nearly 9 million inhabitants alive and well.
From the barrio magico of Condesa and Roma
to Centro's concentration of cultural venues, to
the shopping and nightlife of the Zona Rosa
and beyond, in Mexico City, one revelation
follows another. So while Puerto Vallarta may
hold the popular title "Best of Gay-Friendly
Mexico"-and it's great for anyone wanting to
cruise the bay and the boys-lesbians seeking
choice and a challenge will find a more storied
and complex scene in the capital.
WHERETO STAY
Rich in history, with endless boutiques, restaurants, and coffee shops, and featuring some of
the most varied and grand architecture in the
city, Condesa and the adjacent Roma are welcoming and walkable. Situated just where one
neighborhood bleeds into the other, the Red
Tree House is a gay-owned bed and breakfast
in a '30s-era casa said to have housed writers,
painters and artists. Now fully renovated, each
of the rooms and suites comes equipped with
a private bath. (theredtreehouse.com)
Built inside one of el Centro's oldest residences, DOWNTOWN
Mexico is within
easy walking distance of the Z6calo, the
second-largest public plaza in the world
(behind Moscow's Red Square). Renovated
to blend 17th-century Mexican and modern
industrial elements, yet retaining some indigenous characteristics, this 17-room hotel
features a rooftop bar, a pool terrace, and
a garden patio. And, amazingly, there is an
unusually lush option for budget travelers:
DOWNTOWN
Beds is the hotel's 78-bed
hostel. (www.downtownmexico.com)
ularity with the young and well-to-do, have
resulted in a colonia that's rich in choice.
Explore it unaccompanied, or choose a local
tour company like Sabores Mexico.
Its Roma Foodie Walking Tour takes you
to five distinct eateries (and one micro cerveceria), with historical information to boot.
( saboresmexicofoodtours.com) Speaking of
drink, make sure you spend some time in
any of the city's cantinas, mescalerias and
pulquerias. For an all-nighter, hunker down
at Plaza Garibaldi and enjoy the mariachis
with your own bottle of fine tequila. Friday
or Saturday is best.
WHERETO EATAND
DRINK
WHAT TO SEEAND DO
Sidewalk cantinas and street-corner taco
stands offer the epicurious traveler variety,
quality, and adventure in the open air.
Sample tacos al pastor (in the style of the
shepherd) and squash-blossom quesadillas,
freshly squeezed orange and beet juice, sliced
cucumbers dressed in lime and chili, and an
assortment of dukes.
Fresh meat and produce ( and everything
from cell phone batteries to thong panties)
are available at the neighborhood markets.
Ask around for where and when they will
set up near you. For a multicourse meal at a
reasonable price, look for comida corrida set-price lunches prepped the way Mama did
at home.
Recent efforts to preserve Roma's architecture and character, and its emerging pop-
Zona Rosa looms large on the gay visitor's
itinerary, but another village is emerging along
Calle Republica de Cuba in el Centro.
Start at the city's only gay cantina, Grupo
Viena, for a barril of beer with the vaqueros
and, when sated, head east. Between Grupo
Viena, at No. 2, and red-light-dive-turnedcabaret La Perla, at No. 44, look for the rainbow flags.
Go to the danz6n, where a live band plays
for dancers of varied genders and generations.
It's an unreservedly romantic way to while
away a Sunday afternoon.
With a central route and a south route, the
Turibus is a flexible way to see everything from
Chapultepec Park, to the Museum of Anthropology (mna.inah.gob.mx), to Frida Kahlo's
Casa Azul (museofridakahlo.org.mx) in the
former villageof Coyoadn. (turibus.com.mx) •
Gay & Les
V •ISi·t. •• Sweden
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Stockholm
The Capital of
Scandinavia
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Airlines
EDITOR'SINDULGENCE
For a luxe lifestyle experience, make your home base the W Polanco. You'll never want to leave
this city sanctuary, with its sparkling views. Chic urban accents include hammocks in the marble
shower rooms; the hip and luminous nightspot Terrace, which attracts the beautiful people; and
the convenient restaurant Solea, specializing in steak and seafood. And the service at this
exceedingly gay-friendly hotel is simply outstanding.
After exploring the cutting-edge Museo Universitario de Arte Contemporaneo or the haunting
ruins ofTemplo Mayor, lunch at Azul Hist6rico (azulhistorico.com), a downtown establishment
helmed by the renowned chef Ricardo Munoz Zurita, and be sure to tuck into the huevos
motulenos and freshly made lime margaritas-there's no sour mix here! To continue exploring
the culinary delights farther afield, wander the colonial byways and cobblestone streets of the
Bazar del Sabado San Angel, then lunch at Paxia ('peace' in Nahuatl). This multi-award-winning
restaurant serves upscale Mexican fusion food: The Aztec Budin features foie gras and truffies
while the Drunken Duck Enchiladas incorporate local dark beer into a rich, lip-smacking sauce.
But you don't have to stick to Mexican in el D.F. Local chef Elena Reygadas serves refined,
authentic, and seasonal Italian cuisine at Rosetta, in the trendy Design District.
For something really special to top off your trip, dine at Pujol (pujol.com.mx), named one
of the Top 50 Restaurants of the World by Restaurant Magazine. The ant larvae tostada is an
unforgettable foodie experience.-Merryn]ohns
•
76
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
FEATURES /
TRA
Breu,City
Happy hours in Milwaukee,
America's Beer Capital. evAMYDENEsoN
F
ly, drive, or ride your Harley Softail
Slim to Milwaukee, Wisc., for a fun
Great Lakes getaway. And, in the
revitalized downtown, the Iron Horse Hotel
is just the place to stay (theironhorsehotel.
com). A stone's throw from Lake Michigan,
in the heart of the Fifth Ward, the Iron
Horse is proudly LGBT-friendly, boasting
official TAG approval. From the moment
my partner and I arrived, we found that it
lived up to its commitment "to offer all of
our guests the same warm hospitality and
luxurious stay:' For you Dykes on Bikes,
the Iron Horse is the only boutique hotel
in the country that, along with its other
amenities, is geared to accommodate riders, offering covered motorcycle parking
and post-ride massages. Although each
room is unique, the look overall is industrial-chic-spare,
pristine, flounce-freewith the added luxury of lush bedding and
spectacular walk-in showers.
Once you're checked in and refreshed,
head across the street to the Great Lakes
Distillery (greatlakesdistillery.com). For a
look at how small-batch, handcrafted spirits are made, take a one-hour tasting tour of
the distillery. Tours are conducted three or
four times every day and are available on a
first-come, first-served basis ( only parties
of 15 or more can make reservations). Or
you can simply take a tour of the seasonal
cocktail menu at the bar. I recommend the
Mooncusser. Made with the distillery's
Roaring Dan's Rum, named after Dan
Seavey, the only miscreant ever arrested
on the Great Lakes for piracy, the Mooncusser is simple and simply delicious: rum
made with pure Wisconsin maple syrup
and Milwaukee's own Sprecher's cream
soda (sprecherbrewery.com).
The city offers many fine options for
dinner. Right there at the hotel you've got
a winner-the
Smyth, possessing a Wine
Spectator Award of Excellence. However, as
someone who grew up in Brew City, I can't
visit my hometown without feasting on Milwaukee's best burger at Sobelman's Pub &
Grill (milwaukeesbestburgers.com). All the
burgers, ordered as a single or double stack,
pair perfectly with a pint of local Miller
Lite or a Sobelman's Bloody Masterpiece,
served with 13 garnishes-including
a bacon
cheeseburger slider!
After dinner, head over to Walker's Pint
(walkerspint.com). This all-girl bar is ultrawelcoming, with crisp taps and a lively
community. It's where "Happy Hour = Every
Hour!" and the regular patrons prefer to party.
A sign on the jukebox warns: Slow Songs
After 8 p.m. May Be Skipped. No Refunds.
After a few rounds, the mixed dance club
LaCage (lacagemke.com), kitty-corner to
Walker's, is perfect for late-night dancing.
Greet the next day along the Lake Michigan shoreline. The Lakefront Trail, a 5.9-mile
loop, connects Veteran's Park, the McKinley
Marina, and the Milwaukee Art Museum
(mam.org). Santiago Calatrava designed the
museum's breathtaking Quadracci Pavilion
to resemble a bird (with a 217-foot wingspan) taking flight over the water. Before setting off to walk, rent bikes, or fly a kite along
the beach, stop for a coffee at Alterra Coffee
Roasters (alterracoffee.com). Alterra offers
artisanal blends ranging from the ultra-dark
Punch in the Face to a couple of milder HalfCaff brews.
In Milwaukee, the locals will tell you it's
"cooler by the lake:' This is certainly the case
during Summerfest, an annual 11-day beer
and music festival (summerfest.com). My
recommendation is to visit Milwaukee when
the fests and fairs provide months of entertainment, from early spring to late fall-and
not just because the average winter temperature hovers around 20 degrees.
Once you've worked up an appetite, head
over to the blooming neighborhood of Bay
View for brunch at the Honeypie Cafe
(honeypiecafe.com). This delightful farm-totable restaurant is committed to preparing
all meals, "from piecrusts to pickles," from
scratch. Their menu, which changes daily,
consists of locally sourced ingredients;
diners can enjoy everything from the vegan
pastries to "Southern Gentleham" pork
chops. Personally, I savored my Farmer's
Breakfast so much that I couldn't resist
going back for dinner: I recommend the
Chicken Biscuit Pie, with a chocolate
raspberry cupcake for dessert.
Afterward, you're going to need a walk.
Start with a wander through the Milwaukee
Public Market (milwaukeepublicmarket.org)
for samples and souvenirs of local cheeses,
spices, wine, candy and streusel. In the Third
Ward, catch up with the RiverWalk, meandering along the Milwaukee River. As you
pass by, give two thumbs up to the Bronze
Fonz, commemorating the iconic character
in Happy Days. The gritty smokestack skyline seen in this sitcom, as well as in Laverne
and Shirley,still exists; however, the city has
undergone decades of restoration, smoothing its rough edges and creating a more sophisticated place to live and explore.
On historic Brady Street, I met up with
an old friend, who, as luck would have it,
hosts walking tours for the award-winning
Milwaukee Food Tours (milwaukeefoodtours.
com), and I was treated to a guided tour of
Milwaukee's food, culture and history. Nine
blocks long, from Lake Michigan to the
Milwaukee River, the Brady Street neighborhood was settled by Polish and Italian
immigrants (bradystreet.org). Their influence is reflected in the stacked duplex homes
known as "Polish flats;' and the authentic
Italian eateries. We headed straight for Zaffiro's Pizza (zaffirospizza.com). Since 1954,
Zaffiro has been serving Milwaukee-style
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
77
pizza, with cracker-thin twice-baked crust, smothered in a family-recipe tomato sauce and
covered with cheese that is hand-shaved-not
grated-with
care."With a Schlitz;' my friend
insisted," the beer that made Milwaukee famous!"
Milwaukee is sometimes called Cream City, which I learned wasn't a nod to the frothy
beer made by the city's original brewers-Schlitz,
Pabst, Miller, Blatz and 150 others-but
a
reference to the city's light, cream-colored bricks, made of clay dredged from the local rivers.
Standing outside Sciortino's Italian bakery, I was torn between what to admire more, the
brickwork or the lofting scent of freshly baked rolls and cannoli (petersciortinosbakery.com).
Today, the Miller Brewing Company has outpaced the rest of the city's commercial brewers. Miller Stadium, home to baseball's Milwaukee Brewers, is a fantastic place to pass a
heartland afternoon (milwaukee.brewers.mlb.com). Tailgating along with the native Sconnies
is one way to kick off the game, or taking a cab (as I did) directly to the front gate is another.
I caught a game with some friends, including one now known as Pinky the Glitterator of the
Maiden Milwaukee roller derby team (brewcitybruisers.com). According to Pinky, any inning
is the right inning to order a local Leinenkugel's brew and a bratwurst-as
long as you don't
forget the Secret Stadium Sauce.
The next morning, I visited Blue's Egg Restaurant, taking the owners up on their invitation to embrace the tradition of a relaxed meal (bluesegg.com). It was worth the 45-minute
wait! The "very stuffed browns" were a delicious upgrade to my aged Wisconsin cheddar and
spinach omelet, with side of house-made chicken chorizo. If possible, save room for dessert.
While you're out in the suburbs, it's worth engaging in the great Kopps vs. Oscars frozen
custard debate (kopps.com, oscarscustard.com), or you can head back to the lakeshore for a
waffle cone from the newcomer NorthPoint Custard (northpointcustard.com) and assess for
yourself if all things in Milwaukee are indeed "cooler by the lake:'
Motorcycle enthusiasts must make time to visit the Harley-Davidson Museum (harleydavidson.com), across the bridge from the Iron Horse Hotel. Take in the 110-year history of
this true red-white-and-blue American brand invented by Milwaukee residents William S.
Harley and Arthur Davidson. Whether you're a joyrider or serious biker, experience the roaring
rev in the Engine Room, marvel at the Design Lab, and mount up on a few display "hogs:'
Outside, the museum offers a quick complimentary riding lesson on a stationary motorcycle.
End your last night in town with a toast to the oldest continually operating gay bar in
Wisconsin: This Is It (thisisitbar.com). Opened by June Brehm in 1968, and still voted the
city's No. 1 Gay and Lesbian bar, This Is It hosts a colorful scene as inviting and evolving as
Milwaukee itself. (visitmilwaukee.org) •
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T LOOK/
STARS
An Attitude of Gratitude
Give thanks for all of the planetary oomph that November brings.
By Charlene Lichtenstein
SCORPIO %
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istheauthor%
of HerScopes:
A Guide
to Astrology%
forLesbians
(Simon
& Schuster)-%
%
tinyurl.
com/HerScopes.
%
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Your social circle expands
to a globe. Not only are you
elected Ms. Popularity, you
are also the leader of the Pride
parade. You are especially
charming and know just what
to say to get exactly what-and
who-you want. Use it to your
advantage by getting involved
in a range of new groups and
organizations.
(Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Lesbian Scorps mean
what they say and
say what they mean,
but only if you listen
very carefully. She is
the proverbial iron fist
wrapped in a velvet
glove (And some
of us find it rather
exciting that way) She
is very self-possessed
and controlled in her
speech and can easily
manipulate lesser
minds to get anything
or anyone she wants.
While Gemini babes
are flirtatious, Scorpio
gals are persuasive, so
be warned Once she
sets her sights on you,
you have no chance
to escape One
minute, you'll be hip
to hip at the bar and
the next minute hip to
elbow at her place
Nowavailable
asanebook.~
80
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Make your mark on the world
this November whether by
strong action or compelling
oratory. You will find ways to
get your name out there and
charm those who can help you
get ahead. But are there things
going on behind the scenes
that could trip you up? Are you
focusing your attention on all
possible outcomes? Smile for
the ladies but check your teeth
for spinach.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
Your world opens up like an
oyster this November with
romantic possibilities from
across the world. Admirers
flock to you. You can almost
stay home and wait for the
delicious delivery. But the real
secret to your success is to
open up your shell and venture
forth into the unknown. Put
yourself out there or just be
out yourself.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
You may misunderstand the
politics around your office
but thankfully this won't get
you into too much trouble. In
fact, you will be very much in
demand. Everyone wants a
piece of you, Aqueerius. It will
be your mission to decide who
and what size portion. Will you
be a light snack to some and a
three-course meal to others?
Just as long as you remember
the just desserts.
business contacts by rubbing
shoulders with powerbrokers.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
Although it is tempting to
scream your pent up opinions
into cyberspace, try to avoid
doing so this month. You will
be much more effective and
successful if you keep your
cards close to the vest and
trust only close bosom buddies
and lovergrrls. Guppies with an
axe to grind are better off using
their sharpened tongue on
political causes.
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
Aries (March 21-April 20)
November brings success
at work but unintended
complications in any romantic
or sexual relationship. They say
that love means never having
to say you are sorry, lambda
Ram. But sometimes it is nice
to own up to a mistake or a
miscommunication. Throw
yourself at her mercy. Who
knows what might come next
in the throes of forgiveness?
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
Nothing ever prepares you for
the whoosh of creative energy
that this month will deliver.
Clear your calendar, Taurus, and
explore every exotic nook and
cranny for your inspiration. Who
knows what or who you will get
into as you mine for treasures.
Just be sure that partners are
aware of your antics. Lies will
get you nowhere.
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
Work may have its challenges
this November but not because
you are not working hard
enough-you are. It's just that
the decision-makers don't
see what you do. You need to
tailor your message so you get
credit for all the equity your
sweat produces. Build up your
Relationships will be your
refuge. If you have one,
celebrate it. If you don't have
one, go out and get one. You
will have your pick of the crop,
especially if you know how to
plant the seeds. Cancers can
say what they mean and mean
what they say, which can be
pretty charismatic and sexy.
Use it all to your advantage this
November.
Leo (July24-Aug. 23)
Avoid any complicated domestic
project if you can do so. Not only
are there miscommunications at
home, your costs for any
non-essential endeavor could
spiral out of control as your
desires run amok. Try to keep a
level head Lioness and spend
within your means.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Everything is rosy this
November. Not only do you
have loads of charisma, you
also have ample energy to get
your projects up and running.
Let your creativity carry you
to new successes with the
potential for life altering
benefits. Your muses provide
the inspiration and enable you
to think out of the box.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
There is a lot going on behind
the scenes as hidden enemies
and secret admirers all want to
get into position to take action.
You are a lucky lady, Libra. The
forces of good will eventually
triumph. The scales fall from
your eyes. You may modify
your value system once the
dust has settled. Keep an open
mind and let the good gay
karma flow.
get you rs today.
curvemag.com
Want to see your pet here? We'd love to meet them, too.
Visit curvemag.com/satisfied for details.
■
ADVISORS
"
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Let's make sure he has it a l.
You're all he has, so when the conversation turns to his future, turn to
Wells Fargo Advisors. Financial Advisors with the ADPA SM designation can
help you with everything from saving for college to legacy and estate planning
strategies, and we understand the special issues domestic partners face. That
means we can help you take care of him no matter what the future holds.
Visit wellsfargoadvisors.com/adpa to fmd the Financial Advisor nearest you.
Together we'll go far
Wells Fargo Advisors is the trade name used by two separate
Financial Network, LLC, Members SIPC, non-bank affiliates
Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisor'M and ADPA'Mare
© 2013 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC. All rights
registered broker-dealers: Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC and Wells Fargo Advisors
of Wells Fargo & Company.
service marks of the College for Financial Planning~
reserved. 0912-02542 (985659)
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NOVEMBER
2013
COVER PHOTO BY RODNEY BURSI EL
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
1
NOVEMBER
2013
10
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////A
IN EVERYISSUE
4
EDITOR'S NOTE
6
FEEDBACK
7
CURVETTES
8
THE GAYDAR
24
SCENE
80
STARS
17
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////A
TRENDS
REVIEWS
9
THIS IS WHAT A
LESBIAN LOOKS LIKE
29
Dallas businesswoman
Bri Crum.
10
BEAUTY
Beauty products with
ingredients fit for a feast.
14
HOT PICKS
16
LESBOFILE
07
SHE SAID
VIEWS
18
OUT IN FRONT
18
IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT... News from across the
country.
19
POLITICS
Orange Is the New Black is a
TV sensation, but what's it really
like for women behind bars?
By Victoria A. Brownworth
21
THE TWO OF US
Our monthly profile of lesbian
couples who live, love and
work together.
2
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
23
LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
25
TRUTH OR DARE
FILM
Kimberly Peirce, director of
Oscar-winning smash Boys
Don't Cry is back with Carrie.
By Rachel Shatto
31
MUSIC
The latest lesbian music sensation is Brooklynite, Krissy
Krissy. By Elizabeth Estochen
34
BOOKS
Cannes sensation Blue is the
Warmest Color began as a
graphic novel penned by a
lesbian. By Elizabeth Harper
36
TECH
Need help in the kitchen?
There's an app for that.
By Hassina Obaidy
STYLE
42
COURTENAY'S ACT TWO
Courtenay Semel invites us
into her home to display her
LGBT equality inspired decor.
By Laurie K. Schenden
46
DALLOWAY DARLINGS
Kim and Lexi, the power
couple behind New York's
best lesbian bar, invite us to
their Hamptons wedding.
By Merryn Johns
Curve's online selection of must-do, must-try, must-have extras.
VEG OUT
Been thinking of going vegetarian but don't
know where to begin? Choose Veg may be
the answer you've been looking for. Choose
Veg takes the guesswork out of kicking
your carnivorous habit by offering healthy
recipes, tips for vegetarians on a budget,
and how to substitute meat with tofu and
other protein products. From dairy-free and
flourless desserts to cheese-less pizzas-one
Curvette gave Choose Veg a go, read about
her experience on curvemag.com
WE WANNA DO BAD THINGS WITH YOU
It's official, HBO has announced that the seventh season of camp and sexy
gore-fest True Blood will be its last. So after faithfully tuning in for six seasons
of hot fang banger action, faerie godmothers and luscious lesbian vamps we
have a list of demands for our final spin through the Bon Temps Bayou. Read
our list of "10 Things We Want To See in the Final Season of True Blood"
on curvemag.com
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT
In a world where "liking" is the new "hello" and clicking or swiping
through other peoples' pictures has replaced-you know-actually
getting to know one another, it's time to find a social media
site that actually promotes, well, being social. We tested Come
Together, a new social media app, to try our hand at meeting
and perhaps actually even greeting a few new queers.
And how did it go? Read all about it on curvemag.com
THE FEARLESSONE
Baltimore's musical talent of over 20
years, Sonia Rutstein from Disappear Fear is back
with a tour and a new album, Broken Film. And
what great timing. Hot on the heels of marriage
equality and the second year anniversary of
Occupy Wall St., the single "Love Out Loud"
suggests that love is indeed all you need. Read
our interview with Sonia and sing along to this
timely Beatles-esque album!
UP
RONTtMERRYN'S
MEMO
curve
THE BEST-SELLING LESBIAN MAGAZINE
I-lot in the
l<ITCHEN
NOVEMBER
PUBLISHER
2013
» VOLUME
23 NUMBER
9
Silke Bader
Frances Stevens
FOUNDING PUBLISHER
EDITORIAL
Merryn Johns
Rachel Shatto
Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Jillian Eugenics, Sheryl Kay, Stephanie
Schroeder
EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Hassina Obaidy, Kristen Youngs
PROOFREADER Elizabeth Harper
EDITOR IN CHIEF
MANAGING EDITOR
COPY EDITOR
A
nyone who knows me knows
that I am a foodie. But that's
not the only reason I wanted
Curve to have an annual Food issue.
Food and the lives of women intersect
powerfully.
Most of us cherish the memory of
the matriarchs in our families and the
wonderful meals they created to sus~
tain and unite us. My mother had a
conflicted relationship with preparing
food and associated it with her duty
as a homemaker. Though the mantle
of leadership in the kitchen passed to
me when I was still in school, I took
to cooking with relish, seeing it not as
drudgery but as a creative outlet and a way to engage people. I became interested
in the provenance of ingredients at an early age; my first dish was created from
fish sticks, and I remember pondering their origins beyond the waxed paper carton
that lived in our freezer. My mother encouraged me to become a chef, but in the
end I chose language as the way to engage with the world. I've always cooked,
however. In fact, prior to sitting down and writing this note I was at my grill
roasting an eggplant for my famous homemade baba ganoush!
For me, food is creativity, companionship, sustenance and love. For some women,
food issues are connected with their social roles, with self-esteem, with the way
they view their bodies. For others, food is one oflife's simple pleasures. For many,
it raises political and ethical concerns-after
all, what we farm and eat has an
enormous impact on the environment.
However you view food, in this issue we celebrate the many queer women who
cook, create, write, blog, travel and toil in a culinary context. And for our cover girl
this month, I'm delighted to serve up more than a little eye candy in the delicious
form of thoughtful thespian Nicole Pacent.
As we sit down to Thanksgiving, give thanks to the pioneering women who are
increasingly taking what was once a traditional activity in a domestic setting and
excelling at it in a very competitive workplace environment. In so many ways, we
are all "top" chefs. Bon appetit! •
~·
MERZs
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
CURVE
NOVEMBER
DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
Jeannie Sotheran
Robin Perron
EVENTS & MEDIA RELATIONS COORDINATOR
ADVERTISING
CURVE'S MEDIA KIT
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Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT
Sallyanne Monti (510) 545-4986, sallyanne@curvemag.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ART DIRECTOR
Kate Field
Kelly Nuti
PRODUCTION ARTIST
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Jenny Block, Adam L.
Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Traci
Dinwiddie, Maria De La 0, Elizabeth Estochen, Jill
Goldstein, Lisa Gunther, Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall,
Kim Hoffman, Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus,
Sassafras Lowrey, Jess McAvoy, Emelina Minero, Laurie
K. Schenden, Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson,
Allison Steinberg, Stella & Lucy, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull,
Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce, Tina Vasquez, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Alex Styles, Meagan Cignoli,
Sophia Hantzes, Janet Mayer, Syd London, Cheryl Mazak,
Maggie Parker, Robin Roemer, Leslie Van Stelten
CONTACT INFO
Curve Magazine
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4
OPERATIONS
2013
CURVE
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TOUGHER.
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FEEDBACK
haven't I heard of her before? Thanks for
bringing such an important talent to my
attention. -Mary L. Talenti, New York, N.Y.
AWW,SHUCKS
Curve has remained relevant throughout
the years. Consistently reaching out to all
generations of women, which is quite an
achievement especially in these times of
diversified social tribes and sub-cultures
that are fueled by all the various social media
outlets. It's hard to keep track of them.
Curve does an amazing job of bringing it
all together and I'm proud to be part of it.
-Ivana Ford
CREDITWHEREIT'S DUE
TIG IS TOPS
I'm a little embarrassed to say that I had
never heard ofTig Notaro before and wasn't
familiar with her face. But after I read your
article ["Tig Notaro Gets the Last Laugh;'
Vol. 23#8] I went online and watched everything I could find. She is hilarious. Why
It's a shame that the otherwise insightful
interview with Piper Kerman ["Inside Out"
Vol. 23#8] didn't properly credit the television wunderkind who's transformed [Kerman's]
prison memoir into a media sensation that's
brought the author, her important message
and some of the most terrific performances,
particularly by women, of any season to the
forefront. For the reecord, It's Jenji Kohan.
-Deborah Frost, New York, N.Y.
OPERATICINSPIRATION
Thank you so much for your great profile
of Patricia Racette! ["Down-to-Earth Diva"
Vol. 23#5] I love the romantic story about
how Patricia Racette and Beth Clayton fell
in love at the 1997 Santa Fe Opera production of La Traviata. Since I'm always looking
for new ways to celebrate my muses, I made
a Finger Puppet Movie Tribute to their love
story. -Gretchen Peterson, Portland, Ore.
DYNAMIC DIANA
I was thrilled to read of Diana Nyad's
triumphant swim from Havana to Florida.
As an older lesbian myself I find her refusal
to quit her dreams and succeed at all costs
very inspiring. She's right up there with
Martina Navratilova and Billie Jean King as
role models we can all be proud of. I look
forward to an article about Nyad in Curve.
EDITOR'SNOTE:
We've approached Ms. Nyad
for an interview and we're hopeful
that she'll share her story with
Curve readers.
POST
OF
THE
MONTH!
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-Lynn Goldberg
Hunter Valley, New
South Wales, Australia,
known for both its
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HASSINAOBAIDY
ALLISTERCHANG
Editorial assistant Hassina
Obaidy is a freelance journalist
Allister is a Masters of Public
Policy student at the Harvard
and a social media maven in
San Francisco. She graduated
from San Francisco State
University with a print and
on line journalism degree and
Kennedy School, particularly
interested in LGBT issues
and China, and idealistically
determined to make our world
a better place. He holds a B.A.
in History from Tufts University
a minor in women and gender
studies. Always inspired,
she advocates for women
across the globe and hopes
to get their voices heard in a
meaningful way. "Working at
Curve has taught me more
about LGBT issues than any
course, or reading. I am
honored to write about LGBT
women and hear their inspiring
stories and share their work."
In this issue, she wrote about
Chasity Saleh and her food
truck, Betty Rocker Bakery.
and was a visiting student
at the University of Oxford.
He is also a queer man who
finds himself hanging out with
lesbians more often than not.
"It's really a pleasure to have
the opportunity to share my
Taiwanese lesbian friends'
stories with Curve readers, and
to build a bridge between two
of my favorite communities.
Whose dream isn't to be an
across-the-whole-world wing
(wo)man?"
ELIZABETH
HARPER
Elizabeth Harper is a writer,
editor, and full-time geek who
lives in Texas with two dogs
and a small library of books
and comics. She writes on
a myriad of different topics
online, where you can find her
covering tech, business, and
gaming at Tech/icious, Sprout
Insights, and WoW Insider.
In this issue she interviewed
graphic novelist Julie Maroh.
"Reading Maroh's Blue Is the
Warmest Color left me in
tears-in a good way-and
it was fantastic to have the
chance to talk with her about
where the story and the art
came from."
AMY DENESON
The adage goes, "You can't
go home again," but writer
Amy Deneson discovers
you certainly can enjoy
visiting. Since growing
up in Milwaukee, Wisc.,
the heartland city has
undergone a revitalization
that has transformed it into
a sensational Great Lakes
getaway. The cooler-by-thelake city boasts delicious fare,
lakeshore fun, and LGBTfriendly hospitality. Read about
her happy hours spent in the
Beer Capital of America on
page 77. Amy's writing has
also appeared in The New York
Times, Huffington Post, Salon,
and Hemispheres magazine.
She is currently writing her first
book. (amydeneson.com)
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
7
NDS/
THE GAYDAR
p
I
!~e~ o~~!e~wRone? Let our gaydar help
~ you decide who's hot, who's not, who's
~ shaking it and who's faking it in lesboland.
~
BY RACHEL SHATTO
~
Is Chris Christie our secret lesbro? Well
if his recent signature on a law banning
gay-to-straight conversion therapy is any
indication, he just might be!
Mistresses bombshell
Jes Macallan (aka Josslyn
Carver) loves us in real life
too and shows her support
in the NOH8 campaign
Amber Tamblyn joins
the cast of Two and Half
Men as the long-lost
lesbian daughter of Charlie
Sheen's (former) character.
Oh no, does that mean we
have to start watching this
Oh say it ain't so!
Laura Prepon aka Alex Vause
is leaving Orange is the New
Black in season two
Way to kill off 50%
of your lesbian
population, Under
the Dome. Alice's
(Samantha Mathis)
untimely demise
effectively brings the
Sapphic population
of Chester's Mill to
I
In a love story
42 years in the
making, Lily
Tomlin and Jane
Wagner are finally
getting hitched
Santana has a
new love interest
on Glee, The
X-Factor's Demi
Lovato. We are so
ready for that ...
ahem ...duet
Lesbian megastar
Jane Lynch gets a
well-deserved star on
the Hollywood Walk
of Fame
8
CURVE
Jaime Murray
continues on
her campaign to
become the most
lezzie-desired gal
in Hollywood, this
time in her turn
as the Sapphic
sanguinista Gerri
Dandridge in
Fright Night 2
NOVEMBER
Step as;de ... well. ..evecyooe. ]
Mary Lambert kills it at the
VMA's with her duet of "Same
Love." And then turns around
and releases the adorably
lesbotastic video for
"She Keeps Me Warm"
2013
l
After seven long years Joan Jett and
the Blackhearts are back with their
new album Unvarnished. We love
Joan Jett's rock 'n' roll
A,t;st EmUy NUand g ;ves es
something we never knew we
always needed: Orange is the
New Black paper dolls. How
many seconds do you think it
will take before we start making
them kiss each other? Zero-the
answer is zero seconds
NDS!BEAUTY
POPPYSEED
APPLE
The Gentle Poppy Seed Exfoliator from
Tilth cleanses and revitalizes your skin with
nature's poppy seeds and jojoba esters
Meet lndie Lee, a brain tumor survivor who became
determined to fight environmental toxins by creating
an eco-aware, all-natural, organic line of beauty
blended into a soft yellow corn kernel
meal base. Gently remove dull and flaky
skin when combined with your favorite
cleanser or used with a little water.
($38, tilthbeauty.com)
products. Formulated with the stem cells of a rare
Swiss apple, her Swiss Apple Facial Serum combines
rich proteins, phytonutrients and metabolites to
boost cell production and protect your skin from
environmental stress. ($130, indie/ee.com)
Feed Your
Face!
·Beauty products with ingredients
fit for a holiday feast.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
PEPPERMINT
Give your pucker pep with
BERRY
this cranberry fruit-extract-infused
anti-aging Berry Extract Toner from
Tilth soothes, enhances and neutralizes
skin from environmental toxins and
Miracle Skin Transformer Lip
Rewind Advanced Peptide Lip
Treatment SPF 20. Peppermint
and advanced peptides boost
your lips' volume and moisture
content in the tastiest way.
Available in five shades to
suit all skin tones.
($24, sephora.com)
HONEY
The nectar of the Manuka Tree in New
Zealand is known for its delicate flavor and
health benefits. Rich in proteins, vitamins
and minerals, Manuka honey hydrates
and protects skin from free radicals and
signs of aging. Incorporated into Miracle
Skin Transformer Revival Mud by Sarah
McNamara, this mineral-enriched mud
mask sourced from spring-fed lakes in
Eastern Europe promotes cellular turnover
by 92 percent and stimulates the skin's
free radicals. ($32, tilthbeauty.com)
natural collagen. ($38, sephora.com)
CARROT
Sappho Cosmetic's Jennifer foundation is
preserved with essential oils and packed
with antioxidants. This vegan, gluten-free
liquid mineral foundation suits medium
skin tones. Its organic ingredients include
aloe juice, jojoba oil, rooibos, calendula,
green tea,rosemary extracts and carrot
oil. Lesbian-inspired and named for
As delicious as a glass of wine, this
Lip Gloss Stick by Pur Minerals keeps lips looking
plump and luscious. Plus, rich emollients and Vitamin E
condition and help hydrate lips. ($15, purminerals.com)
10
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
L Word actor Jennifer Beals.
($52, sapphocosmetics.com)
Express yourself with the Nokia Lumia 1020™
• Get closer with an incredible zoom
• Preserve bright moments even in low-light
conditions
• Relive the memories in high-def video and with
high-quality sound
Order Now!
www.att.com/curve
1.877.437.1007
U
Rethink Possible®
~
·41 MP PureView image sensor, max image resolution 38 MP. Actual resolution may vary. Coverage & service not available everywhere. Microsoft Windows Phone and the Windows logo are trademarks
of the Microsoft group of companies. Screen images simulated.
©2013 AT&T Intellectual Property. All rights reserved. AT&T.Globe logo and other marks are trademarks of AT&TIntellectual Property. All other marks are the property of their respective owners.
IN LAS VEGAS, EVERYONE'S WELCOME.
ESPECIALLY
THE
LGBT
COMMUNITY.
In fact, Vegas is one of the top destinations in the country for gay travelers.
And it's no wonder, considering all the fabulous ways you can spend your trip.
--fa--
----0---lt's time to celebrate! And what better place
than Las Vegas? Plan your next adventure
and experience the best accommodations,
dining, shopping and nightlife that you'll find
anywhere. And don't forget the top-notch
entertainment.
No place matches Las Vegas
for shows and events. Check out the new
Veronic Voices at Baily's, a powerful tribute
to the greatest singers of our time and
experience a true Vegas classic - the showgirls
of Jubilee! at Baily's Las Vegas. Then, let
loose with the sexy Zumanity by Cirque du
Soleil® at New York-New York and catch iconic
performers including Shania Twain and Celine
Dion at The Colosseum inside Caesars Palace.
The best entertainment
is always waiting for
you in Las Vegas!
--8-Hungry? Make a reservation at any of Las Vegas'
incredible
restaurants. You'll find delectable
dishes from the likes of celebrity chefs Mario
Batali, Wolfgang Puck and Gordon Ramsay.
Make it dinner and a show by catching the
fabulous and fun Rock of Ages at The Venetian!
Later, make the most of your evening by
venturing into one of Vegas' many nightlife
options. Be sure to check out the new Krave
Massive downtown, the largest gay venue in
the world with huge dance rooms, open bars,
a martini and VIP lounge, and other amenities.
--e-And
when
you finally
feel sleepiness
approaching,
you'll have plenty of LGBTfriendly accommodations
to choose from,
such as Paris, Vdara and Caesars Palace.
With
Pride
concierges
at Encore
and
Wynn Las Vegas, dedicated
specifically
to
making your trip amazing, you'll find the
most amazing spas in Las Vegas to help
you reenergize yourself for the next night
of fun.
--40-Need a new outfit for your second evening?
There are hundreds of shopping options, from
the world-class designers in The Shops at
Crystals to bargain shopping at the Las Vegas
Premium Outlets downtown.
NO MATTER HOW YOU SPEND YOUR TIME IN VEGAS,
THERE'S FINALLY A GETAWAY THAT GETS YOU.
Visit LasVegas.com/gaytravel
to book flights, hotels, vacation packages and more.
NDS/
HOT PICKS
LIFEIS GRAND
Grand Marnier has outdone themselves
with their Signature Collection No. 2
Raspberry Peach. Rich in flavor and
with a fruity bouquet, notes begin
with raspberry and end with a
powerful punch of peach
and citrus. Just add simple
syrup and a twist of lime.
($40, grand-marnier.com)
WORK OF ART
Flavor infused vodka is all
the rage, but Van Gogh
Vodka takes this succulent
trend to new heights with
their Dutch Caramel flavor.
Buttery, with hints of vanilla
and coffee, it's smooth enough
to drink on the rocks and will
elevate any sweet cocktail.
As an added sweetener, Van
Gogh Vodka has partnered
with the Give a Damn
Campaign for their Cocktails
Without Prejudice contest.
For details and to enter visit
their Facebook page.
($27, vangoghvodka.com)
HOL DAY
SP RT
HAVE MERCY!
Holidays often mean indulging
in a few extra drinks, which can
lead to morning after misery.
Kick your hangover to the
curb with Mercy, a tasty citrus
flavored beverage infused
with the powerful antioxidant
glutathione. Mercy's unique
blend of amino acids,
antioxidants and vitamins
helps boost your body's
natural defenses and rid your
body of toxins. Pick up a 12
pack of their special rainbow
Pride edition and a portion of
the proceeds will be donated to
GLAAD.($33, drinkmercy.com)
Celebrate the season
with these tantalizing tipples.
BY RACHEL SHATTO
BRIGHT& BOLD
Crafted in Amsterdam from cocoa leaves
imported from Bolivia, Agwa de Bolivia is a
brightly glowing green liqueur boasting
36 natural herbs and botanicals
including ginseng, green tea,
lavender and guarana. The flavor
is surprisingly mild: herbal,
lightly sweetened with a hint
of earthiness. Serve on ice
with club soda to create
an Agwa Fresca, or with
an energy drink for
an A-Bomb. ($32,
agwabuzz.com)
SOPHISTICATEDSIPPER
Despite its hard partying reputation, fine tequila should be sipped, and it
doesn't get more worthy of savoring than Maestro Dobel Tequila. This ultra
smooth spirit is sourced from 100 percent blue agave, double distilled,
and aged in Hungarian White Oak barrels in Jalisco, Mexico. The result is a
pleasantly surprising fruity and subtly woody palate. ($55, maestrodobel.com)
NIGHT KAP
If you are unfamiliar with
Pisco, a South American
spirit created from the double
distillation of wine, Kappa makes
for an excellent introduction.
Created from organic grapes grown
the Elqui Valley in Chile, Kappa's
flavors blend the sweetness of grapes,
the earthiness of moss and the tingle of
alcohol. While it's mild enough to drink on
the rocks, it's best served with just about any
fruit juice. ($35, kappapisco.com)
14
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
CARIBBEAN EQUALITY & LEADERSHIP CRUISE
FEBRUARY 1-8, 2014
FORT LAUDERDALE•
GRAND TURK•
SAN JUAN• ST. THOMAS/ST.JOHN•
HALF MOON CAY• FORT LAUDERDALE
NDS!GOSSIP
i7Es~oF1LE
~
~
Amanda's Sapph1c secret, Lady Gaga gets
vocal and Billie Jean King laughs off rumors.
~
BY JOCELYN VOO
Undercover Lovers?
If you've been paying any attention to the
press, you've watched the slow devolution
a
of Amanda Bynes la Lindsay Lohan. Turns
out that Bynes, who these days is racking
more courtroom time than television
airtime, has secretly been having lady
In fact, Gaga herself had recently been
criminally targeted by Russian politician
Vitaly Milonov, the man who penned St.
Petersburg's anti-gay laws, as "promoting
sodomy, lesbianism, bisexuality and transgenderism among minors."
with King zinging him in straight sets in a
historic win for feminists everywhere.
But now rumors have spouted that the
famed match was rigged. A country club
[her] vagina," a source tells Radar Online
that Bynes had a months-long relationship
with her female N.Y.C.neighbor. "A couple
Mo' money, mo' problems- particularly if
you're a high-profile celebrity undergoing
worker, now 79, told ESPNthat he witnessed
a midnight plan hatch between Riggs
and Mafia members, where Riggs would
throw the game in exchange for having his
$100,000 gambling debt wiped clean.
When told these rumors, King scoffed at
the idea. "This story is just ridiculous," she
told the New York Daily News. "I was on
the court with Bobby, and I know he was
divorce in an equal distribution state. How-
not tanking the match."•
times she even had more than one woman
in bed with her," the source adds.
Though it's unclear whether Bynes's
dabbling in the pink pool is just another
ever, Jane Lynch is making the best out of
a tough situation, telling Access Hollywood
that her California divorce-and equal
division of their assets-with ex Dr. Lara
Embry is going well. "It's just money," the
actor explains simply. (Melissa Etheridge,
romances under the radar.
While she's been linked with a few males
over the years and very publicly tweeted
that she wants rapper Drake to "murder
symptom of her going into the black hole
of burned-out starlets, we'd like to think
that perhaps after the 5150 hold wears off,
this might be the one thing that stays.
Music to Our Ears
From her infectious dance tunes to her
WTF costume choices, Lady Gaga has had
all eyes on her since she came into the
spotlight. But now her politics rival her
fashion and lyrics. Mother Monster has
joined the ranks of high-profile celebrities
publicly decrying anti-LGBT violence in
Russia, shooting off a series of solidarity
tweets like "Russian LGBTsyou are not
alone. We will fight for your freedom."
16
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
While your lyrics have always been a
selling point, your words now ring even
more true. Sing on, fight on, Gaga.
Class and Sass
are you listening?)
Hat-tip to Lynch for her real-life grace
and poise ...as long as her character on
Glee maintains the barb and venom.
Game, Set, Match
Of the great female athletes, tennis legend
Billie Jean King is easily in the top tier. But
in addition to her many Grand Slam titles,
King also won a match that resonated with
more than just the sports world. In 1973,
King, at the top of her game, was pitted
against former champ (and male chauvinist) Bobby Riggs in a Battle of the Sexes-
FRAZER HARRISON/GETTY
(HEARD), CHRIS HASTON/NBC
(PLAZA), DIYAH PERA/THE CW (DAY), ANDREW MACPHERSON
(PINK)
-I
::a
ffl
z
C
u,
Cf)
::r::
rn
Cf)
0
st
PROFILE
Analouisa Valencia
SouthCarolina> TheSpecialOlympics
Analouisa Valencia is destined for great things.
The current holder of the Miss Spartanburg/
Lyman beauty pageant title competed for Miss
South Carolina, and should she have won, her
next stop would have been Miss America.
Nothing is impossible, according to this
19-year-old college sophomore, who is of
African American and Mexican heritage and
grew up in the Deep South.
If she ever did face racial prejudice, it did nothing to daunt her sunny optimism. And then, there's
the fact that she came out in the ninth grade.
Valencia has also been tested in other ways.
For years, she trained to be a gymnast, and had
outstanding potential until she was injured five
years ago. But instead of leaving the sport entirely,
now she serves as a coach for the Special
Olympics and works closely with athletes in her
area in preparation for state competitions.
Some may wonder if the pageant scene isn't
just an anachronism, harkening back to the days
when a woman's worth was determined solely
by her looks, but Valencia says there is much
more to it. For her, it's about building confidence, displaying talent, meeting new friends
and encouraging a greater awareness of the
community programs that she's involved with.
And the fact that she's an out lesbian has been
no issue whatsoever.
"All of the contestants, the local executive
directors, the Miss South Carolina officials, and
the Miss America officials have been nothing
less than encouraging, proud and supportive,"
she says.
To those who are still wary of getting involved
with LGBT issues, Valencia says the time is now.
"Change does not wait," she says. "It's made to
happen. It takes courage, strength, determination-and
a little bit of rule breaking. You are
capable of changing the world." -Sheryl Kay
18
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
INCASE
YOU
MISSED
IT...
I !~~r/~~~l~~~,~~~~]e~~9~4~£~£!bian
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
moms. The plot will follow the main character, Charlie,
as she becomes friends with another kid who
has gay parents. Representatives from the Disney
Channel say that the episode "was developed to be
relevant to kids and families around the world and to
reflect themes of diversity and inclusiveness."
•••
~I~~~~ -~~~~.-~~:-I~-~;~~ -i~
••••
••••••
~~;I~~~~~;~ -~~I;~-~-~~~~:~~~~~
Jail In Florida She was an 18-year-old
high school senior when she was
~ first charged with a felony-lewd and
~ lasc1v1ousbattery on a minor-for
~ dating a 14-year-old freshman girl
~
Hunt has always ma1nta1nedthat
~
the relat1onsh1pwas consensual
~
and has received support from
~
across the country calling for all the
~ charges against her to be dropped
~ Prosecutors 1nit1allyoffered Hunt
~
a couple of plea bargains, but her
~ defense has turned them both
1//2 down However, Hunt Is now back
~ behind bars, awaItIng trial, with her
~ ball revoked The parents of the
~~1//- alleged vIctIm told prosecutors that
~
Hunt had violated the terms of her
~ ball by contacting her ex-girlfriend,
~ allegedly text messaging naked
~
photographs to her Hunt now faces
~
add1t1onalcharges of "transmission
~
of material harmful to a minor by
~
electronic equipment,,
~
1//2
~
~
THE
RIDGEDALE
CHURCH
OF
Christ In Tennessee gave Linda
1/~1//,
/,
Cooper the choice of either leaving
1//2 th e congrega t I0n she hadb een part
~
of for decades, or saying that her
~ lesbian daughter's "lifestyle" was a
~ sin against God Cooper's daughter
0
•••••
and has been with her partner
for 11years They were married In
Maryland. Kat has been f1ght1ngher
employer and the city to provide
health benefits for her partner, a
fight she won when Collegedale,
a suburb of Chattanooga, became
the first city In Tennessee to offer
benefits to same-sex spouses of
government employees It was
through the news coverage of that
win that the church discovered
Linda's daughter Is a lesbian Linda
chose to side with her daughter and
has left the church
APORTLAND,
ORE.,
CAB
DRIVER
who kicked a lesbian couple out of
his car after yelling homophobic
slurs at them has lost his Job Kate
Neal said that she and her g1rlfr1end,
Shanako Devoll, had been showing
affection In a Broadway Cab on their
way home when the driver said, "You
can't be gay In my cab," and left
them on the side of an interstate In
the middle of the night The City of
Portland's Regulatory D1v1s1on
has
issued a statement that the driver,
Ahmed Egal, has had his his taxi
permit revoked and that the taxi
company has been fined $1,000
0
range Is the New Black was one of
the hottest TV series of the summer. The story of women in prison
has always titillated viewers. Men like the
idea of women caged up, and lesbians like the
idea of an all-female closed society.
OITNB provides that. We see the relationships, the bonds, the lovers, the families. We see
women creating new lives for themselves on the
inside-one that feels, for most of them, more
real than what they had on the outside.
But for all its verisimilitude, OITNB can
take the viewer only so far. Even though the
series is based on a true story, to tell that story
you need a certain amount of quiet and a whole
lot of nonstop drama, neither of which is really
what prison life is like.
I know, because I've spent some time in
actual prisons. It's never quiet and every
day has a level of tedium that is hard for the
inmates to bear. The noise and the boredom
are part of the punishment.
I was in high school the first time I was
arrested at a political protest. A group of
us-all
teenagers-were
loaded into the
same police van. We were all put in the same
holding cell. For some reason it wasn't scary,
maybe because we were all together, maybe
because we didn't really understand what
had just happened. We were kids.
After that, I was arrested many times for
political protests, and it always seemed more
enraging than scary. We weren't criminals.
We were political protesters. None of us ever
thought we'd spend more than a night in jail.
And we rarely did.
I was also arrested as a teenager for running away from home. That was different. I
was held in juvenile detention for five days
before being arraigned because my parents
thought I would learn from that experience
and not run away again. I think I was awake
the entire time. It was violent and dangerous,
degrading and ugly, dirty and smelly and
most of all loud.
As a journalist, I also interviewed prison-
ers-men
and women, mostly murderers.
Among them was Aileen Wuornos, the
convicted lesbian serial killer, whom I interviewed for QW. Her face was on the cover,
staring out belligerently. Yet in person she
seemed sweet but lost.
I wrote about lesbians on death row for
this magazine, The Advocate, and the Village
Voice. I wrote about HIV in prisons for The
Advocate and interviewed men living with
the disease in that dangerous environment.
I wrote about rape in prisons. I wrote-and
write still-about the costs of illiteracy, which
lead so many people directly to prison because
job options are limited for the functionally
illiterate in America; widespread computerization now demands certain reading skills.
And I have written about an issue that gets
little mention, but which the Department of
Justice (DOJ) states is huge: 70 percent of
the people in prison were once in the foster
care system.
No country has more people in prison
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
19
st
POLITICS
than the U.S. According to the NAACP's
criminal justice fact sheet, the U.S. has 5
percent of the world's population, but 25
percent of the world's prisoners.
According to the DOJ, there are 3.5 million
prisoners incarcerated in federal, state, and
local prisons in the U.S. Another 8 million
are on parole or probation. Those are mostly
men, but the DOJ puts the number of women
prisoners at 205,000. In addition, there are 1
million women on parole or probation.
That number seems small, compared
with the number of men, but it's on the
rise. According to a study by the Institute
for Women and Criminal Justice (IWCJ),
between 1977 and 2004, the number of
women in prison increased by 757 percent.
Yet between 1988 and 2009, crime has
dropped overall in the U.S. by 25 percent,
according to the DOJ. Between 2009 and
now, the number of women in prison has
literally doubled.
A study by the IWCJ explains why the
incarceration of women has gone up while
crime has gone down. A combination of
tougher sentencing laws and a record number of drug offenders is putting more women
behind bars-like Piper and Alex in OITNB. Mandatory sentencing has added to the
increase in incarcerations.
The World Health Organization (WHO)
report "Women's Health in Prisons: Correcting Gender Inequity;' points to several prison
issues that are specific to women. Like the
ACLU, the WHO targets sexual violence as a
significant problem. In 2003, the Prison Rape
Elimination Act was passed, but it didn't end
sexual abuse and rape in prisons or among
parolees on the outside.
Pregnant women prisoners are frequently
shackled while giving birth, and only nine
states have nursery facilities or a place where
a woman can give birth. Juvenile facilities for
girls, like the one I was in briefly, are rife with
violence and sexual abuse.
The WHO notes that female prisoners
are far more likely to have mental illness
than their male counterparts, are less likely to
get treatment, and are more likely to be told
they are "faking" illness while incarcerated.
The WHO report also notes that nutrition,
exercise, and hygiene for women prisoners is
sub-par in all prisons. Hygiene issues in women's prisons have led to outbreaks of MRSA, a
20
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
difficult-to-treat bacterial infection.
Because most women in prison are in
for lesser charges-drugs
or prostitutionthey revolve in and out of the system more
quickly than men, so they have less contact
with prison administrators, and also have
less access to services that might help them
once they are on the outside. According to
the ACLU prisoners' rights study, close to 90
percent of women in the prison system have
been victims of sexual abuse and/ or domestic violence. That makes them much more
No country has
more people in
prison than the U.S.
''
vulnerable to the vicissitudes of the prison
system than men are.
There are 170 women's prisons in the U.S.
Because the number of prisons specifically for
women is so small (women have been housed
separately from men since 1870), women are
often separated from their families.
Both the ACLU and the WHO recommend that women not be sent to prison for
drug offenses, which account for about 40
percent of all women's incarcerations, but
that alternatives be sought.
OITNB portrays prison as a place rife
with lesbians and lesbianism. An ABC report
done by Diane Sawyer of ABC News in 2004
highlighted the familial and romantic relationships Sawyer witnessed while inside the
Metro State Prison for Women in Atlanta.
But in 2009, administrators of the largest
prison for women in Virginia, the Fluvanna
Correctional Center for Women (population 1,200), rounded up prisoners who they
knew were lesbians or suspected of having
lesbian relationships, as well as prisoners
who looked or acted butch, and segregated
them from the rest of the prison population
in an effort to quell illegal sexual activity in
the prison. The section of the prison where
these women were housed was called the
"butch wing" and the "studs wing:'
The story was investigated and reported
by the Associated Press and the Huffington
Post, but warden Barbara Wheeler denied
that segregation had ever taken place.
In Pennsylvania, women prisoners are not
allowed to receive lesbian books, because it
is alleged that reading such material will "rile
them up;' as one prison official told me.
OITNB has put women prisoners in the
spotlight, if only briefly. But in real life, there
is little connection between those prisoners and people like us. Yet if the number of
incarcerated women continues to escalate,
as it has in the past four years, soon most
of us will indeed know someone in prison.
Shouldn't we care what happens to these
women? Because, as Natasha Lyonne's sexy
character Nicky ( also in prison for drugs)
says in OITNB, prison "is just like the
Hamptons. Only fucking horrible:'•
VIEWS/
TWO OF
Lisa&
Virginia
BY MERRYN JOHNS
ulinary power couple Lisa
C
Ekus, 56, a literary agent, and
Virginia Willis, 46, a writer and
culinary TV producer, met in
2006 over a book proposaland, like a slow-cooked dish, a deliciously
meaningful partnership developed.
MET
THEY
HOW
LISA: I work specifically in the culinary
field, representing cookbook authors, food
writers and chefs. Virginia sent me her first
book proposal, for Bon Appetit, Y'all: Three
Generations of Southern Cooking. It was
the cleanest proposal for a cookbook I had
ever received. We were both going to the
Greenbrier Food Writers' Conference that
year and I made an appointment to meet
with her.
IMPRESSIONS
FIRST
VIRGINIA: We agreed to meet at the
conference to discuss whether she would
take me on as a client or not. Then, we
actually wound up on the bus together
from the airport to the hotel. I was terrified. She had this incredible reputation
as a powerful force in culinary publishing
and promotion. I had heard she was less
than receptive to overzealous stalker-type
cookbook author wannabes. So I was really
quiet and shy. She thought I was being
standoffish.
LISA: Virginia's initial appeal to me was
strictly business-as an extraordinary
food writer. She was beautiful as well:
Chanel red lipstick, pearls and a way with
a sentence that made me determined to
represent her on the spot. I didn't know
until later that she had made me her first
choice to represent her and never even
approached another agent.
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
21
s1TWO OF US
HOW
THEY
GOT
TOGETHER
change everything. I have
and motivated Virginia is, along
too. I appreciate her drive and
LISA: Our relationship was
never been kissed like that in
with her ability to write a sweet
commitment. Most of all, I have
all business, and grew into a
my life.
sentence around anyone and
enormous respect for her in-
anything. She creates almost
tegrity. She doesn't just follow
friendship, which deepened
over the years. When I first met
TAKING
ITFURTHER
all her own success. We make
the money-she
Virginia, she was in a long-term
LISA: Over the course of
the business deals around that
talent. It's not just about the hot
relationship, and I was married
the next few years we both
success.
chef off the next reality show.
[to a man] and had no inkling
extricated ourselves from our
follows the
I would fall in love with her. I
relationships. The decisions
ONRESOLVING
CONFLICT
LISA: That Virginia is the cre-
have always loved the wisdom
were hard and painful for both
VIRGINIA: We don't fight much.
ative and in-front person, and
and friendship of women, but
of us. But we were determined
We're apart just enough that
I'm the business and behind-
never considered that I was
to be together and had enor-
the phrase "Absence makes
the-scenes, works brilliantly
gay. I still believe and feel that
mous patience.
the heart grow fonder" makes
for us. The mutual respect we
it is who Virginia is as an indi-
sense. It's a little cliche, but
have for each other's strengths
vidual that made me fall in love
HOW
THEY
COLLABORATE the truth
with her. And, I have to say,
VIRGINIA: If a company wants
history, we're very apprecia-
to discuss opportunities and
we laugh that I "took to it like
to work with me, it goes
tive of each other and our
challenges, makes us a power
a duck to water." My comfort
through the Lisa Ekus Group.
relationship.
couple. We have each other's
level with this woman is far
Anything that involves a con-
greater than I have ever felt
tract goes through the agency.
LISA: I'm far more fiery and
with the men in my life.
I bring them work and they
quick to snap. Virginia is
bring me work. It's mutually
patient and thoughtful. She
WHO
MADE
THE
FIRST
MOVE
beneficial. I am her sounding
knows exactly how to defuse
LISA: Clear parameters on
VIRGINIA: Well, that's compli-
board for many things, as well.
pretty much any situation so
life and work have to be set.
cated. I was gay and, as far as
We keep confidence, since I am
I don't blow up. We talk it all
Virginia has these expressions:
I knew, she was straight. Then,
a client as well, but, at the end
through. My only frustration,
"I need to talk to my Agent
we slowly started flirting. After
of the day, we are just good
and we laugh at this a lot, is
Lady," or "I need to talk to my
months of cautious flirting, I
together.
that I'm Northern and speak
Girlfriend." That clues us both
told her I wanted to kiss her,
and she said, "Well, go ahead."
LISA: We work together pretty
of it is that, with our
and skills, and our willingness
best interests at heart.
ADVICE
TOLESBIAN
COUPLES
WORKING
TOGETHER
quickly and without filtering
in as to the type of conversa-
much of anything I say. Virginia
tion and the results needed.
As I kissed her, I sat on my
much daily. We are part of mak-
is Southern, far more thought-
Agent Lady is about business,
hands. I was scared to death,
ing most of her deals, advising
ful, and edits her words before
and Girlfriend is "Hear me out
but it was also so I would
on new book projects, pitching
she speaks. I still bite my
and comfort me. Don't try to
temper my romantic moves.
her for talent gigs, and overall
tongue and try desperately to
solve it or charge for it." Not
consultation on her career. The
not interrupt her long thought
everything has the resolution
LISA: We never looked back.
piece that many people don't
process. And I've benefited
you want or hope for, but so
And that first kiss did indeed
see is how fiercely determined
from learning to be far more
much does. Focus on that. Kiss
patient! Do we have differences
each other good morning and
of opinions sometimes? Sure.
good night each and every day.
Do we work it out? Always.
VIRGINIA: Of course, some-
22
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
WHY
THEY
WORK
SOWELL
TOGETHER
times we make mistakes, and
VIRGINIA: I slow her down and
office home, but we acknowl-
we might wind up taking the
she speeds me up. I can share
edge it and try to make it better
with her what [other] authors
the next day. There have been
know and don't know, what
a lot of folks that have been
they are thinking, and how
dubious about the success of
they might respond to certain
our relationship, but I really
things. I appreciate her creativ-
knew very early on that we had
ity with business, connecting
something special-I just need-
people and making things
ed to be patient enough so that
work. I respect her immensely
it would all work out. (lisaekus.
because she is a hard worker,
com, virginiawillis.com) •
VIEWS/
Here Come the
Waterworks
Keep calm and carry on.
ev uPsT1cK
& 01PsT1cK
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: Every time
my girlfriend and I have sex, when she
makes me "go"-1 pee. I don't know what's
going on! -Pee Pee Patty
/////////////////////////////AW///////#//////////////////,W///////////////////////////////////////////////
Lipstick: Well, I do. Are you
sure it's pee, darlin? Maybe
you're just "Old Faithful"
when it comes to ejaculation.
It's been known to catch
women by surprise-like a
flash flood in Arizona. Do
some Googling, then some
ogling, to see if your girlie
geyser is simply showing off.
Dipstick: Lipstick is G-spoton, PPP!You're not peeing,
friend, you're spouting
elusive lesbian love juicefemale ejaculate. Like you,
many women who ejaculate think they're peeing,
because it's kept hidden
from us by the male-dominated health industry. Just
to reassure you that you're
not urinating, you might
want to know that although
some women do have urine
leakage during sex, it's often
during foreplay, not at the
moment of orgasm. Don't
be thrown off by the name,
either. Female ejaculate may
trickle or spurt. It may be a
few drops or a flood. It may
come before, during or after
orgasm. It's not the same for
everyone, but one thing is
certain-it's not pee.
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
I don't know how to label
myself. This is going to
sound horrible, but I don't
really understand bisexuality. I always felt that a
person should just choose.
Now that I am more active in
the LGBT community, I realize it may not be that simple.
I always considered myself
straight. A penis turns me on
and, so far, a vagina has yet
to. I have never been sexually attracted to a woman. I
simply find them beautiful
and great to talk to. But
lately, I notice that I've
been flirting with women.
I might even kiss one. I am
a virgin, so I've never been
with a man. I am an actor, so
I have kissed guys and girls
on stage, but it was only
in character. I was really
turned on when kissing the
guy, but only felt something
once for a woman. Under
the circumstances, I'm
not so sure if those were
my feelings or the character's. I'm a bit confused. I
would be comfortable in a
relationship, but the sex part
makes me feel strange, like I
wouldn't like it. It makes me
feel terrible, because if I act
on my attractions, I may not
mean it. Like, say, there's a
girl I'm talking to, and then
halfway down the line I'm
like, Nope, I like dudes. I just
don't want to do something
stupid and hurt someone. I
think I'm just going to have
to put myself out there and
find out, but I'm confused.
Help, please -Messed
Up Missy
Lipstick: Wow. While reading
this question, suddenly I feel
like I am sitting here with a
perm, in old-school Guess
jeans and Jelly sandals,
avoiding my algebra homework. It's a blast from my
past. If I'd had the courage,
I could've written this letter
back in high school. Your
experiences, your curiosity,
your fears were my own. In
light of that, I'd like to give
you a big high-five for your
bravery. Who says you have
to decide on a label now-or
at all? Labels, shmabels.
I've got great news for you:
Limboland is temporary.
Eventually, you will be pulled
in one direction or the other.
When that happens, it won't
necessarily mean you'll be
exclusively straight or gay.
Bisexuality is real, and sexuality is a swinging pendulum.
If you do figure it out today,
give yourself permission to
change your mind tomorrow.
That is the wonderful thing
about sexuality, when it's
fully realized. It's yours and
no one else's. My advice to
you now is to be open and
LIPSTICK+OIPSTI
stay curious. Likewise, be
gentle with yourself, and
don't judge others,
either. Tread lightly when
someone wants to get
serious, and keep the lines
of communication open. Be
honest with them, speak your
truth, and go with the flow.
Dipstick: Lipstick, you had
a perm? Times sure have
changed in the 20 years since
you came out. But one thing
hasn't. Sex and sexual attraction are puzzling, especially
if you're a virgin. I'm not sure
how, but some of us do figure
it out before our cherries are
pitted. But for most people,
it takes being involved in
real-life relationships before
the essence of our sexual orientation is revealed. Here's a
tip. Don't think about vaginas
or penises or what turns you
on-but, rather, think about
the people you want to get
close to. Who do you want
to kiss? Spend your Saturday
night with? Take to the prom
(even if you're too chicken
to ask)? At this point in your
life, it really sounds like you
could be happy doing that
with both boys and girls. Like
Lipstick says, quit worrying
about labels and listen to
your heart.•
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
23
FLORIDA
FUN
St. Pete Pride and Women Fest turn on the sun.
In spite of rain, colorful crowds numbering approximately
100,000 gathered to march in St. Pete Pride on Saturday June 29,
one of Florida's largest gay Pride events, and continued to party
all day long and into the evening. Further south in Key West, the
infamous lesbian festival WomenFest-known for its party-hard
vibe and fun in and around sun-kissed waters-celebrated a
summer that saw significant gains in LGBT rights. Activities
included rock climbing and water sports such as snorkeling,
jet skiing, parasailing and more on the Fury's All Women
Ultimate Adventure; wild pool parties at the clothing optional
guest houses at popular Pearl's and Alexander's; and night life
adventures such as dinner sunset cruises, live comedy shows
featuring Suzanne Westenhoefer, and music-thumping clubs.
(stpetepride.com, womenfest.com)
VIEWS/
TRUTHOR DA
The Urge to Merge
Hold the U-Haul and think it through-monogamy
may impact your sex life.
BY JINCEY LUMPKIN & CARLIN ROSS
JINCEY
Confession: I am a reformed cheater. Serial
monogamy was the name of my game.
When I make a romantic connection, I
fall hard and fast. I fuck easily and often, so
intimacy comes naturally-or,
I so always
thought. I always dreamed about finding
"true love:• I thought it meant that you were
someone's everything, and that your sweetheart was yours and yours alone.
I thought loving someone meant that "two
become one:• In other words, from the age of
5, when I got a wedding veil at Harrods (I
was on vacation in London with my parents),
I was already feeling the Urge to Merge.
Whenever I start seeing someone new, I'm
overwhelmed with strong emotion. I search
the eyes of my lover for parts of myself. Being
a bold and honest person, I say whatever is
25
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
on my mind, and I look to my partner for the
same kind of direct self-expression. So many
times, my heart has been broken because I
was upfront with my feelings, but the same
sentiments were not returned.
The intense attraction and "oneness" that
I feel with each new love makes me yearn
to be with that person as much as possible.
My typical pattern is to meet someone, fall
quickly in love, move in almost immediately,
and fully enmesh myself in the other person's
life. Then, however, another pattern begins
to emerge.
To illustrate the issue, let's take a look at
a controversial and important relationship in
my past.
I met my ex-girlfriend when she was still
in high school. I was finishing law school,
and I'd come out of the closet shortly before
I met her.
At that time, even though I was seven
years older than she was, it felt to me like we
were the same age. When I met her, the room
warped under my feet. From the get-go, we
connected as though we'd known each other
forever. That night, she talked her way into
my bed and into my heart.
We saw each other as much as we could.
We lay in bed for days upon days. As soon as
she graduated from high school, she moved
in with me, and I discovered that she was
an alcoholic-a violent one at that. About
six months into our relationship, I started
to feel suffocated. In fact, I now realize that
six months into every relationship, I began to
have the same feeling. But what would happen when, no longer under the glamorous
influence of an endorphin cocktail, I started
to get to know the "real" person? Would I
end the relationship when signs of trouble
emerged? Absolutely not! True love meant
that I had to stick it out through thick and
thin! Right?
I stayed with my ex, and, as with many,
many relationships before, I began to develop
feelings for someone new. In this case, I got a
big crush on our roommate. At first I tried to
fight the feelings, but after a while I gave up.
The thing was, when I told my ex, she had
a different idea about how our relationship
should progress. Just as she'd talked her way
into my bed the first night, she persuaded me
that we should stay together.
Of course the scenario repeated itself, and
about a year later I began full-on cheating
with a mutual friend. The sex wasn't satisfying.
My infatuation was merely an unconscious
exit strategy.
As women, we highly value our emotional
connections. However, the drawback to our
strong feelings is, in fact, the Urge to Merge.
When we move too fast too soon, we're not
building a strong relationship with a solid
foundation of trust. We're not creating space
for ourselves when we're always looking for
our "other half' Real intimacy comes when
you can be who you really are, which means
that you can be honest.
Not all relationships are meant to be forever. In the past, I should have asked myself,
"Why am I fighting for this relationship
when I should really be fighting for myself?"
CARLIN
I'm not shy. I'm the type of woman who
knows what she wants every moment of
every day-what I want to do, where I want
to go, and how I want to orgasm. But I didn't
come out of the box like that. I remember
being silenced and paralyzed by fear, swimming in insecurity, and mired in sexless
relationships. Sure, becoming a sex educator
and having an orgasm on national television
will help you find your voice, but I have other
"sex" milestones that are worth sharing.
I experienced the slut stigma when I got
my first job at 15. During training, I was
warned not to talk to another cashier. She was
a "slut;' and if we got to be friends I would be
a slut by association. I didn't listen and we're
still friends today. The best part of our friend-
WS/
TRUTHOR DARE
ship is that we talk down and dirty about our
sex lives. You name it-we go there.
Everyone talks about "having sex;' but no
one talks about how they get off. I will: My
favorite orgasm is when someone lubes up
my vulva and goes to town with both hands
at once. I want clitoral stimulation, vaginal
penetration, and pressure on my pubic bone
as I'm about to orgasm.
It feels good to know what I want and it
feels good to be able to say it out loud, without a shred of shame. Talking openly about
sex with my girlfriend was the practice I
needed to learn how to talk about sex with
my partners. I had to find the words.
There's nothing wrong with showing
your partner what you want. I remember
watching a fisting clip with Chloe Conrad
during the peer-to-peer porn days. She
was right in front of an orgasm but you
could see that something was off. She took
the woman's hand and pulled it out just a
bit then came her face off. I'll never forget
that scene because I learned how to take
control in the bedroom in just that one
moment (thank you, Chloe). Beware of
suffering in silence.
I had a lover who used one of those
warming lubricants. I hated it. It felt like
someone had shoved a Red Hots up my
cooch, and it was sticky. But I endured the
lube torture until, at dinner with friends,
I blurted out, "Just don't let [blank] load
up your vag with tantric warming lube. It
burns for days and kills your orgasm:' My
words hung in the air-it was the ultimate
TMI moment. If I didn't like the lube, I
should have just said so at the time. What
had stopped me from swapping out the
lube with something more vagina-friendly?
At the time, I thought I was angry with my
partner for making sex hurt, but I was really
angry with myself for playing victim.
Whenever my business partner, the illustrious Betty Dodson, and I do a press tour,
we're asked the same question: "How do you
spice things up in the bedroom?" It doesn't
matter whether we're in Norway, Cuba or
London. And it doesn't matter whether
you're gay or straight. Bed Death is universal. Just once, we'd like to say,"Have sex with
someone else. Next question:' However, we
know we can't go there because monogamy
is so ingrained in the culture. If we want to
educate, we have to start small.
I'm not going to bore you with the research.
Here's the skinny. To keep things spicy, we
need to create sexual energy outside of our
long-term relationships. How, exactly, the
sexual energy manifests is something you
talk about, negotiate, and, ultimately, agree
on. It could mean strip shows, casual flirting,
sexting, kissing, threesomes or polyamory.
You've got a world of options.
Personal admission: I've never been monogamous. I just can't pull it off.
My whole day revolves around sex: writing about it, filming it, discussing it. For
me, sex is everything. It's why I'm a sex
educator. I always want to try out different
techniques and hang out with the other sex
geeks. Truthfully, the thought of my partner being with someone else turns me on.
I know what works: communication, honesty, self-knowledge and pleasure.
And I know what doesn't: repression,
dishonesty, self-hatred and pain.
At the end of the day, sex is the only
reason we're here. It's how we connect with
ourselves and how we connect with others.•
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
26
VIEWS/
TASTET
NO
Strings
A new concept in grocery
delivery makes you a top chef.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
Y
ou've seen the pre-packaged, dietdriven meal plans that can be
delivered to your door for a price
and popped into the microwave. Now imagine a meal plan that delivers farm fresh,
family-run purveyor-selected ingredients, with
easy to follow recipe cards. Hello, Top Chef
at home.
I pride myself on being able to cook. But
these days, dreaming up dinnertime options
and getting to the grocery store to source all
the ingredients is, in itsel£ becoming a feat
worthy of reality TV.
Each night, you open the fridge and scour
it for ingredients that might make a meal.
But what if everything you needed for that
week had been delivered to you in a refrigerated box-all
the top quality, seasonal
fixings and instructions for easy-to-assemble, restaurant-quality meals in a matter of
minutes.
Blue Apron does all that for you, and
what I like is that I learn about the food as
I'm making it. I encounter the produce as
though for the first time: from marjoram
to miso, I am introduced to the charms and
function of each ingredient as I prepare the
meal. I tried the Glazed Mini Pork Meatballs
& Snow Peas over Brown Rice; Tilapia with
Shallot-Tarragon Butter over Corn and Japanese Eggplant; Marjoram-Garlic Chicken
with Jersey Tomato Panzanella. (The latter
was my favorite: who knew what Panzanella
was or how easy it is to prepare:')
Here's a way to become more produce
savvy, eat fresher food, cultivate a few culinary tricks, and not feel as though you
copped out on takeaway and blew your
calorie count.
So strap on that blue apron, get out in that
kitchen and rattle them pots and pans!•
NOVEMBER
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s1 TASTETEST
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»
BOOKS
»
TECH
»
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FILM»
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hen director Kimberly Peirce
is attached to a project, people
take notice-and
with good
reason. Her debut feature film Boys Don't
Cry, which depicted the true story of the
tragic murder of trans teenager Brandon
Teena, was a critical smash and earned its
lead actor Hilary Swank her first Oscar.
Peirce makes passion projects and she isn't
afraid of dark subject matter. So, when it was
announced that for her third film she would
be helming the remake of Carrie, a story of
pathos, revenge and tragedy, it just felt right.
The film, which is based on the book by
Stephen King, follows Carrie White, a girl
who, after a lifetime of merciless bullying
and abuse from schoolmates and her mother,
discovers she has a supernatural gift that
begins to manifest itself at puberty. This is
much to the horror of her zealously religious
mother who sees her gift as proof of evil.
When Curve caught up with Peirce, she
was still putting the finishing touches on
the film-which hits screens Oct. 18-and
she gave us the inside scoop on why Carrie's
story is a whole lot queerer than you'd think.
How did directing Carrie come about?
When they came to me and said they
were interested in me, I wasn't sure at first
if I would do it. So I actually picked up the
book ... ! read it, I fell in love with her, fell
in love with the mother, I love that it was
a small town. I love that it has an amazing
tragic structure. I love that it was a revenge
story. I saw a way to modernize it, I saw a
way to flesh out the arcs of all the characters ... and I turned it into a superhero origin
story, which is a metaphor for identity.
Were Chloe Moretz and Julianne Moore
your first choice to play the Whites?
Absolutely. There are a couple of things that
were important to me. One is to cast a Carrie
who is actually a teenager. And it was extraordinary that Chloe-she was 15 going on 16was really going through some of that social
pressure. Particularly when I brought Julianne
Moore in, Chloe's acting and Julianne's acting
really meshed together as a mother-daughter
relationship.
Carrie is kind of the ultimate tale of
bullying, which is very timely.
I did a lot of research on bullying. I looked at
how boys bully and how girls bully. With all
my movies, I do a lot of research of what could
be possible, and certainly it was amazing to
see how rich the female friendships were, how
girls were connected to one another, how girls
bullied one another. Not to reduce it, but by
and large, when boys bully it is more physical
NOVEMBER
2013
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REVIEWS/
FlLM
than when girls bully in kind of a political fashion. Girls were getting very
meshed in with one another and hurting one another in ways that were
really deadly. And that was very powerful.
As tough as it is at school for Carrie, home isn't really a safe either.
The mother-daughter relationship is the heart and soul of Carrie.In particular
I love that Carriewas born into a mortal conflict with her mother. It's a relationship where essentially they're at odds in a fight to the death, which pays
off at the very end of the movie. So I amplified the relationship between the
mother and daughter. I really track Margaret's feeling that this child could be
evil and she might have to kill it, to finally acknowledging that she has to kill
the child, to the child having super powers and the child having to go to fall
back on to protect herself and it's a to fight to the death. And that to me was
really what would inform the entire movie and I constantly come back to that.
What's queer about the film?
I would say that Carrie is completely queer in a lot of ways. Being a person
who's an outsider, a person who longs for acceptance in a particular heteronormative world is a complete queer experience.
I think the second thing is that sexuality is a huge part of queer life and it
certainly is with Carrie. Her mother enjoyed having sex and therefore repressed
Carrie. That's a really queer relationship when you think about it, when somebody is so uptight about their own sexuality and they repress your sexuality.
But also outside of that, Chris and Sue are two best friends. Chris and
Sue each bully Carrie. Chris goes in one direction and wants to bully Carrie more, Sue goes in the other and wants to make up for it, she tries to
make up for it for Carrie and she pisses Chris off and then Chris wants to
do even more damage in order to get back at her friend Sue. Now that's a
love triangle, right? And that's essentially very queer.
Carrie is such a complex character, is she the hero or the villain?
She's definitely the protagonist. I think the real art to doing this well, kind oflike
with BoysDon't Cry, was to immediately bring you as deeply inside Carrieas
possible. I wanted you to identify with her, to love her, and to want her to succeed.
But at the same time, it was vital that you understood why she was made fun 0£
We had to indict the audience in the wrongdoing.
I really worked on the script to make sure that hopefully you understand
why a girl like Chris, who's a rich privileged girl, who starts out throwing a
tampon at Carrie,could escalate to ... slitting a pig's neck, and hoisting pig's
blood up on this girl. You had to make the progression all the way through it
with her. Because if you ever tuned out and you didn't identify with Chris on
some level, even though Carrie'syour protagonist, it'll be over.
I really worked on making sure that there was a culprit narrative so
that when Carrie went after the people who [bullied her] ... it was good,
old-fashioned American revenge.•
DVD
PICKS
Strangers on a Train gets the Sapphic treatment in this new
thriller from Jamie Babbit (But I'm a Cheerleader, /tty Bitty
Titty Committee). Sara (Agnes Bruckner) is a promising,
law student who hits hard times when a rival begins
systematically ruining her life out of jealousy. Enter Alex
(Madeline Zima), a wealthy, seductive lesbian wild child. The
two hit it off instantly, until Alex proposes a deadly solution
to both their problems: each of them should kill the other's
respective nemeses. But when Alex unexpectedly follows
through Sara is put under suspicion. But who is really
playing whom? The answer is not as straightforward as it
seems. Rife with plot twists this is just the lesbian potboiler
to snuggle up to with a bowl of popcorn and your personal
leading lady.
Margarita is the latest from real life couple Dominique
Cardona and Laurie Colbert (Finn's Girn. The film follows
the challenges faced by an undocumented lesbian nanny
working in Canada. When her employers face financial
woes they decide the best course of action is to let
Margarita go, despite six years of loyal service. However,
what is soon revealed is not only how significant a role
Margarita has played in their lives but how the family's
casual exploitation of their domestic staff has held her
back. Despite the heavy themes the film still manages to
be heartwarming, thought provoking and even sexy. That's
because ultimately Margarita is a love story, whether that
be of the familial sort or something more romantic.
30
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2013
REVIEWS/MUSIC
K
t&~~..;:;~~~=~~~i"'~~-•••
rissy Krissy, born Krislyn Rivera,
is taking her place in the spotlight.
She landed a gig as the opening
act on tour this fall with lezzie fave Girl in
a Coma and The Real L Word's Hunter Valentine. An openly gay musician and a former
Pentecostal Christian, Krissy Krissy is performing cross-country, from Portland, Ore.,
to Pittsburgh, Pa.
A Brooklynite to her soul, Rivera grew up in
Bushwick. Her mother is the devout Pentecostal, her late father a rough-and-tumble guy who
ran the streets and made a name for himself
in the same neighborhood where Rivera now
lives. Yet she credits her father with developing
her talent, and her passion, for music. "My dad
didn't really know much of the Christian world
or the church lifestyle. He got arrested one
time when my sister was, like, 2. There was a
.. ~m'-1'-ss~10~'-'ry~•""'"•that
came to visit him in jail.
It was a family that sang-the Cortese Sisters.
And he challenged his entire faith in God, and
ildren
said, 'God, if}.'-u're real, I want all
to come out sin
ike these sisters did. And if
they do, I'll se
r the rest of my life: So,
sang:' In the presence
, Rivera's father had to
e bargain. He converted
idn't totally reject her faith,
the Pentecostal traditions
was a strict lifestyle and
ime. I knew that I hated
REVIEWS/
MUSIC
it;' says Rivera. "When my mom put me in
skirts, I knew it was something I didn't like
to do:'As a teenager, Rivera finally sat down
with her parents and told them how uncomfortable she felt. They listened, and agreed to
allow her more freedom of expression.
After a lifetime of singing in church,
Rivera was discovered in a bar in Brooklyn. Emotionally fraught after a breakup,
Rivera roped her friends into going with
her to a karaoke bar, where she could sing
her troubles away.After belting out a Melissa
Etheridge song, practically in tears, she felt
a tap on her shoulder. "I didn't know you
could sing;' someone said to Rivera. She
bought her friends a round of drinks, and
the mysterious man, who turned out to
be Dennis Wynn, slipped her his business
card, and said he was an agent. "I took the
e-mail and I put it in my pocket. I didn't
care about it;' she recalls. But the next day
rolled around, and when Rivera told her
friends she hadn't contacted Wynn, one of
them called her out. "He said, 'You have
tissues all over the couch, you've been crying all night-you literally have nothing to
lose: And I looked at him, and said, 'You're
right:' Three years later, Rivera has released
her first EP, produced three music videos,
and is on her first nationwide tour.
In addition to writing and
touring, Rivera has been
honing her creativity
in other ways, including acting in her most
recent music video, "Suspicious:' The
song is a narrative straight from her life,
about suspecting someone of cheating,
and uncovering the truth. "I wanted my
second music video to be the polar opposite of my first one, 'Dream;" says Rivera.
"Everyone knows I'm an openly gay artist. This time, I wanted to put my acting
abilities on the table, and do something
people don't expect:'
Rivera is also starting a second round of
her social media contest. The first one just
finished its four-month run. It's called"My
Day with Krissy Krissy;' and it's an integrative campaign that not only offers Rivera's
fans a chance to win a $1,000 prize, but
also gives them an opportunity to have
fun while showing their support. The idea
is this: Instead of handing out a business
card or flyer, which often gets tossed,
Rivera gives out a cartoon cutout of herself-a miniature Krissy Krissy. People
take it on their travels and exploits, and
into their everyday lives, then take photos
of the cutout and post them to their social
media website, with the hashtag "#myday
withKrissy Krissy:'
"We chose the winner for July-there
was actually a girl who went skydiving
with it;' says Rivera. Skydiving has definitely upped the ante for the next winner,
but don't let that deter you from planning
your own day with Krissy Krissy. Drop her a
line, and she's likely to give you a shout-out.
"I don't let one thing go untouched;' she says.
"I want them to know I'm reachable, I'm
tangible. Maybe it's because I'm young in the
game, but if somebody's calling me, I can't
ignore them. If someone's reaching out
to me, I want to be the first person at
a venue, and the last person to shake
somebody's hand:' (krissykrissy.com)•
HOT
LICKS
)) BYRACHEL
SHATTO
Grenadina
GetShallow
(Self-Released)
For fans of GIAC and Hunter Valentine,
newcomers Grenadina are poised to
become your new favorite band. This
"girlcore" foursome (of which three are
LGBT-identified) is crafting just the kind of
melodic indie punk rock we can't get enough
of. Get Shallow marks the band's sophomore
release, which was made possible through
the support of the rabid fan base in
Grenadina's hometown of Lawrence, Kansas
via Kickstarter. While the entirety of the EP
is solid, "Tina Needs a GF' and "Hot Mess"
are standout tracks; both feature catchy
hooks and make the most of vocalist Katie
Ford's sweetly rich vibrato. Grenadina has
"the next big thing" stamped all over them.
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/
Patty
Larkin
StillGreen
(Road
Narrows
Records)
Despite being born of grief-Patty Larkin lost
both parents in quick succession-Still Green
is filled with a sense of hope. Marking the
13th album for the out lesbian folk singer, it's
rooted in the traditions of Irish storytelling
and it wears its influences on its sleeve.
Album opener "Best of Intentions" was
written in two parts, first before the loss of
her parents and the second after. The result
is a dreamy, melancholy and deeply beautiful
ditty full of poetic irony. Long-time fans of
Larkin will find plenty to love and first time
listeners will appreciate her artistry and
emotional honesty.
32
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2013
REVIEWS/
T
BOOKS
he film Blue Is the Warmest Color,
which made a huge splash when it
won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes
Film Festival this Spring, is a story about
lesbian couple Clementine and Emma, as they
grow up and come out. Blue made cinematic
history as the first film based on a graphic
novel to win the festival's top prize-but
the accolades haven't come without controVariety
versy. The film's sex scenes-which
called "the most explosively graphic lesbian
sex scenes in recent memory"-have gotten
most of the attention despite taking up only
.a handful of minutes of film. Julie Maroh,
uthor of the graphic novel on which Blue
based, has been openly critical of the film,
rying the sex scenes and writing on her
g,''As a lesbian ... it appears to me that this
s what was missing on the set: lesbians:'
"Whatever it may be;' Maroh wrote, "I
't see the movie as a betrayal. When it
es to adapting something, I believe that
otion of betrayal should be reconsid1 lost control of my book as soon as I
It away to be read. It's an object meant
e handled, felt, interpreted:' Maroh con1dersthe post, made in May, to be her final
rd on the movie, but she was happy to
about the new English-language release
e graphic novel, in stores now.
After hearing so much about the film's
explicit nature, we weren't sure what to expect
en we sat down with the graphic novel and
asked Maroh what readers should know
before picking up the book for themselves. "I
would say that the best would be to detach
yourself from what you've already read or
heard about it, from the press, from a close
relation, from the bookseller;' Maroh tells us.
"This is how I like to enter a story I'm about
to read or watch: freely, alone:'
Once you set aside the press coverage,
you'll find Blue Is the Warmest Color is a
touching love story that presents teenaged
Clementine coming to terms with who she
is as she falls in love with the blue-haired
Emma.
Most of the novel, relating the history
of their relationship through Clementine's
diary, is painted in shades of gray, with
splashes of the titular blue. "Tue memory
never recalls everything," Maroh explains.
"We always remember specific details: a
light, a smell, a gesture, an object. Among
the black and white imperfect memories of
Clementine, the touches of blue are there to
evoke the strong details that most left their
mark on her:'
When asked about the journey writing and
illustrating Blue has taken her on Maroh says,
"It's been a great adventure, and apparently it's
not over! More than three years after its first
publication, I still receive moving testimonies
from all kinds of people after they read the
book or give it to others to read. For me, being
the witness of their changing awareness is the
best gift ever:'
Maroh has been drawing comics all her
life, and tells us she drew her first comic story
at age 6 and her first comic book at age 8.
''As soon as I could hold a pencil, I became a
storyteller. I've always been brimming over,
with too many emotions, words, images,
34
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
intentions for my mouth to articulate and I
put them in my comics:'
Maroh started working on Blue at age 19,
when she entered a contest to draw a single
page on the subject of being 15 years old.
"Most of the essence of Blue emerged at that
moment;' she explains. "Tue characters, the
past in black and white with a blue touch,
Clementine's diary. I won the contest, and
taking confidence in that I decided to develop
it into a full graphic novel:' From there, it took
Maroh several years to flesh out the story and
draw, paint and letter all 150 pages.
"I had been studying comics in Brussels
for a year;' Maroh says, recollecting when
she started work on Blue,"and was discovering I was more interested in drawing stories
if there was a notion of political or social
engagement. Otherwise I would get bored
and wouldn't see the point of it. As a young
and idealistic lesbian, I wanted to show that
homosexuality had a dignified place in this
world, that gay love stories aren't worth less
than straight love stories and that everyone
can identify with the feelings, joys, sufferings
and fears found in every type of love story:'
While France has recently legalized same
sex marriage, Blue's story begins in 1994,
when the climate was less friendly to the
LGBT community. But the novel is a personal statement as much as a political one.
"Yes, it's about my own dignity being at stake,
as a lesbian;' Maroh says, "but it's also about
anyone's dignity living a love which would
be qualified as non-standard, not to say prohibited in some parts of the planer:' Maroh
wanted to reach beyond a lesbian audience,
to talk to "those who had no clue, had the
wrong picture, hated me, hated us. My wish
was really to participate in the normalization
of homosexuality, to give people the opportunity to see it from the inside. And since
it's also a story about our own mortality and
what remains of love after a loss, I wanted to
show it affects all of us, no matter what our
sexuality is:'
So what's next for Maroh?
Her second graphic novel, Skandalon, was
published this September and she's written
a short comic about composer Johannes
Brahms that will be released before the end
of the year-though
both are in French and
there's no word on whether there will be an
English translation. Her next project is called
Les Corps Sonoresand, as Maroh describes it,
will be a series of "little love stories and introspections focused on alternative identities and
sexualities:'
Blue Is the Warmest Color is currently
available directly from Arsenal Pulp Press
or you can pick up a copy at your local
book or comics shop. The film adaptation
is due to hit screens in October through
Sundance Selects. (juliemaroh.com) •
REVIEWS/
BYROSANNA
RIOS
SPICER
image of feminism looks like all of us.
Just as in her previous work,
Whipping Girl, Oakland-based author,
performer, biologist and transgender
activist transforms topics mired in controversy and complexity and skillfully
narrows them down. After addressing
the most vocal arguments, she refocuses on what feminism ought to be about:
unconditional mutual respect regardless of gender, orientation, assigned
sex or the litany of categories we box
ourselves and each other into.
In Excluded, Serano details how
modern queer feminism is limiting itself
by stubbornly adhering to beliefs that
contradict its own principals of equality
and solidarity. Zoning in on Camp
Trans, one of the battlefields of the
debate surrounding the Michigan
Womyn's Music Festival's "womynborn-womyn only" policy, she delves
into issues surrounding the scapegoating of transgender women and
femininity and the contradiction of
admonishing one form of sexism
Excluded:
Making
Feminist
andQueer
More
Inclusive
Movements
Julia
Serano
(Seal
~ress)
You can't talk about feminism without
conjuring an image of what a feminist
looks like. To those who have been
excluded from the narrative, both past
and present, that picture looks discouragingly bleak. In Excluded: Making
Feminist and Queer Movements More
Inclusive, author Julia Serano's vision of
an updated and holistic feminism isn't
just about making some elbow
room for those of
, us marginalized
in the struggle. It
calls for full and
equal participation. The new
BOOKS
while embracing others.
Keeping with her
dedication to
intersectionality,
she explores the
attitudes behind
bi-phobia and
how it extends
into other forms
of alienating our
allies in the queer movement.
Serano also lays out her own ideas
about how feminism can be liberating for everyone, borrowing from
her background as a biologist and
her experience as a transgender and
bisexual activist. She offers up Holistic
Feminism. An approach that pairs
original feminist ideals like equality,
inclusion, and empowerment with
insight into how gender and sexuality
are influenced by biology and why it
matters. Serano makes a compelling
argument that feminism's future
depends on it. (juliaserano.com}
.:6\compellzit3
polzceprocedural
wztha contemporarp
sett1it3
and a heroineworthpcfa senes."
-c;J;(frkus<iK,eviews
With the NYPD urgently looking to catch a killer of wealthy middle-aged Manhattanites, Late Boomer
introduces the intriguing Detective Carina Quintana, who struggles to catch the killer without igniting
panic among the city's elites, all the while wrestling with her sexuality and complications from her past.
In Benson's equally tightly-plotted Roomer Has It and White Tie & Tales, Carina, now back in her native
Miami Beach and no longer questioning her identity, finds herself juggling new relationships as she faces
harrowing adversaries with blood on their hands and justification for their heinous deeds in their hearts.
All three of Benson's Carina Quintana Mysteries are available at Amazon.com, the iBook Store
and wherever e-books are sold.
Seven apps that will revolutionize
the way you cook. av HAss1NA oaA1ov
=
C
ooking can be stressful, especially
around the holidays, when suddenly
you're expected to go from dyke about
town to Suzy Feast-maker. But don't panic,
there's a veritable cornucopia of apps for that.
With a flick of a finger on your smart phone or
tablet, you can learn to cook a five-course meal,
find in-season produce, or whip up healthy,
vegan meals like a pro. Here are seven cooking
apps that we can't live without.
COOKING PLANIT
"A G.P.S. for the kitchen;' as Chef Emily Wilson puts it, the Cooking Planit app breaks
down the cooking process with step-by-step instructions on planning, preparing and cooking,
allowing one to choose recipes that are tailored
together to create a meal. The app also contains
voice controls so you don't have to go back and
forth to your phone, or iPad. ($3, iTunes)
VEGANYUM YUM
Cooking vegan offers many unique challenges-particularly
for beginners. Lauren Ulm
of Vegan Yum Yum.com takes out the guesswork by sharing many of the recipes from her
cookbook in her latest app Vegan Yum Yum.
36
CURVE
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2013
This easy to use app includes healthy vegan
options from international cuisines and gives
you easy to follow instructions. (Free, iTunes)
FOODILY
What do you get when you combine social
networking and foodr Foodily. The website
and now app allows users to share and follow
each other's recipes. From talented celebrity
chefs to stay at home moms, different recipes and photos are shared on a daily basis.
(Free, iTunes)
PERFECTPRODUCE
The name says it all. Perfect Produce shows
you how to find the ripeness in a cantaloupe,
offers tips on how to keep fruits and vegetables fresh, and sets out complete nutritional information. It also features more than
450,000 healthy recipes categorized by fruit
and vegetable. ($2, iTunes, Google Play)
RATIO
Dying to go off recipe but fearful of the result?
The Ratio app gives you a whole new way to
think about food prep and will give the freedom
improvise. That's because rather than preset
measurements, Ratio helps you calculate the
amount of ingredients for any culinary concoction. So you'll know exactly how much of each
ingredient is needed no matter if you're cooking
for one or 100. ($5, iTunes, GooglePlay)
HOW TO COOK
EVERYTHING
If you just don't like cooking or really need
help with the basics, this app is your new
best friend. How to Cook Everything features detailed instructions and over 400
how-to illustrations to take all the mystery
(read: pot-throwing frustration) out of the
culinary arts. The app can even help plan
your grocery list. ($10, iTunes)
LOCAVORE
As any chef will tell you, your dish is only
as good as its ingredients, and nothing beats
fresh seasonal fruit and veg. Locavore is the
easiest way to find in-season vegetables and
fruits, pinpointing nearby farmers' markets
that sell the products you need. The app
includes information on those farmers' markets, in-season recipes and what's coming in
season. (Free, iTunes, Google Play) •
FEATURES/
A
t M Cubic, the new lesbian club
in Taipei, I was asked, "What are
some stereotypes about lesbians
in the U.S.?" When I mentioned the presumption that most of the female employees
at Home Depot are lesbians, one of the girls
in the group told me to look up at a fixture
on the wall that wasn't secure. Soon, my new
friends were standing on chairs, inspecting
the wall, and trying to fix it themselves.
With the Taiwanese, I always find myself
laughing at our similarities, and enchanted
by our differences. There is a comfortable
exoticism in Taipei that I haven't found
anywhere else. From Good Cho's-a refurbished assembly hall turned co-op cafeyou can see Taipei 101, a glass skyscraper,
towering 1,600 feet over a preserved military dependents' village, meant to house
soldiers and their families who fled mainland China, defeated by Mao's Communist
takeover in 1949. Munching on a yam and
red bean bagel, I feel right at the nexus of
East and West, past and future.
Taiwan is a gem that lesbian travelers
often overlook. When my friend Amanda Rothstein came to visit from D.C.,
she stepped onto the streets of Taipei,
smiled, and asked, "Why didn't anyone
tell me Taipei is a city of lesbians:'" On a
flight to Hong Kong, I sat next to a girl
named Scottie who told me she'd gone
to Taipei 10 times this past year because
she couldn't get enough of Taipei's lesbian
scene. Other Americans tell me they love
LESBIAN
TERMINOLOGY
T & Po(~) Taipei's lesbians often
identify themselves as Tor po. In
short, a T is a butch, and a po is
a femme. T stands for "tomboy,"
while po is the Chinese word for
"wife." According to Jennifer Lu
from the Taiwan Tongzhi Hotline
Association, Taiwanese girls still
feel significant pressure to adhere
to traditional codes of femininity,
so if a Taiwanese girl has short hair,
she's likely a lesbian.
Tongzhi (icu~) An appropriation of
the Communist word "comrade,"
which loosely translates to "LGBTQ."
La Zi (t'.r:r) A phonetic imitation of
the English word "lesbian."
Taipei "because there are butch lesbians
everywhere:'
LESBIAN HISTORY
& POLITICS IN TAIWAN
Recently, Taiwan has been at the forefront
of LGBT politics in Asia. When martial law
was finally overturned in 1987, a wave of
democratic reforms brought strength to the
movement here. Christianity has relatively
little political strength in Taiwan, and, as
we saw with the highly publicized Buddhist
lesbian wedding last August, Buddhists can
be supportive of LGBT rights.
According to AJ Wang, creative director
and editor-in-chief of Lezs magazine, ''A lot
has changed these past five years:' Notes of
a Crocodile,published in 1994 and arguably
Today, many
Taiwanese lesbians
are very open about
being out.
''
the definitive Taiwanese lesbian novel, tells
a story wrapped in oppression and tragedy.
Back then, you had to ring a doorbell to get
into basement lesbian bars like Esha (now
closed). By 2003, less than a decade later,
Taipei was leading the LGBT movement in
Asia by holding the region's first Gay Pride
Parade (this year's Pride was in October).
Today, many Taiwanese lesbians are very
open about being out. Former lesbian party
planner Reishi Chang tells me, "There may
not be a need for lesbian bars here;' because
"a lot of us feel perfectly comfortable holding hands with our girlfriends anywhere on
the island:' When she returned to her home
city, Kaohsiung, recently, Reishi says she
was surprised that there were so many lesbian couples, who were "all over each other" in
public, and even more surprised that nobody
else was giving them an extra glance.
Though lesbian travelers may not face
any discrimination in Taiwan, local lesbians
continue to confront several ongoing problems. Women generally earn lower salaries
ISSU
than men and inheritance usually goes to
sons, so lesbian-specific meetings at the
LGBTQ Taiwan Hotline Association often
review ways that lesbians can save money for
retirement. In a society that remains heavily
influenced by Confucian values, there is also
significant pressure to have biological children.
Same-sex marriage, once proposed as legislation in 2003, continues to be postponed.
LESBIAN LIFE IN TAIPEI
There are currently two lesbian bars in Taipei,
Taboo and M Cubic. For years, Taboo was
the only lesbian bar in Taipei-and
many
people say that Taipei's lesbians only need
one. In response to the opening ofM Cubic,
though, the owner of Taboo optimistically
told me, 'Tm glad we have another lesbian
spot in Taipei! Hopefully, this will get more
lesbians to come out!"
According to Jennifer Lu, the director
of Public Affairs at the Taiwan Tonghzi
Hotline Association, Taboo is "not the most
elegant or highest class, but helps everyone
feel like they are part of the same community:' Quentin Tsai, the owner of Taboo,
agrees that she intended to give Taboo a
"living room" feel. There's a lounge area
with couches on the dance floor. Taboo's
DJs usually play K Pop, but they also
have trance nights. The cover charge is
NTD$300 ($10), and no, this isn't a joke:
They give you unlimited drinks, but will
fine you if you throw up!
AJ, who is not only the editor of Lezs
magazine, but also a promoter for M Cubic,
tells me they opened M Cubic in order to
create a more upscale lesbian bar in the
city. "We no longer need to hide in basements;' AJ asserts. Situated on the top floor
of a popular mall, right alongside several
straight clubs, M Cubic is definitely not trying to hide itself away. Guys can get in, but
they pay more and must be escorted by at
least two girls. Inside, there is a square bar at
the center with a lounge area on the left and
a dance floor on the right. M Cubic gives
you three drinks for your NTD$400 ($15)
cover charge, and a table costs NTD$200
($6) per person.
Five or six times a year, a group called
Lezs Meeting rents out a straight club and
hosts a themed party. These parties attract
600 people on average. Last August, the
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
39
Girl's World party brought in over 1,000
people.
The older generation of local lesbians
continues to hang out at lesbian karaoke
bars on Linsen North Road. These karaoke bars see very few tourists. Walking
in feels quite like stepping into another
time and place. The bar hires promoters
to come chat with you and introduce you
to other customers.
During the day, lesbian couples can be
seen holding hands just about anywhere
in Taipei. One of the stereotypes about
Taiwanese lesbians is that they all work at
coffee shops. Homey's is one of my favorite cafes in Taipei, partially because their
tomboy barista, nicknamed "Super Cute;' is
exactly that.
Though many Taiwanese lesbians, including Quentin Tsai, tell me they don't feel the
need to go to lesbian-specific places during
the day, the city does offer a range of lesbian
spaces.
Fembooks is a lesbian bookstore associated with the Gender/Sexuality
Rights
Association (GSRAT), which also hosts
community events and conferences. Near
40
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
the National Taiwan University, Fembooks
claims to be the first feminist bookstore in
the Chinese-speaking world. This is where
I got introduced to Taiwanese lesbian history, culture, politics and fiction in English
(I highly recommend Fran Martin's work).
Next door, there is an equally progressive
cafe/bar called the Witch House; its rather
sexualized menu includes "Shapely Rice
Tits:' Also in the neighborhood of NTU,
there's another bookstore/ cafe pair-Gin Gin's
and Hours-that
have been bastions of the
Taiwanese LGBT community for over a
decade. Both places are mostly frequented
by gay men, but Gin Gin's stocks Fran Martin's books to purchase, and Hours stocks
Lezs magazine to read with your coffee.
A NEW LESBIAN B&B IN
THE COUNTRYSIDE
My little cousin, age 20, just came out
to me as lesbian (I cried). When I asked
her what lesbian spots she likes to go to
outside Taipei, she told me she'd never
thought about lesbian travel before, because
"What's the need( She and her girlfriend go
to the countryside almost every weekend,
and recommend watching the sunrise at the
top of Alishan Mountain.
In this way, participating in the lesbian
community in Taiwan has become a choice,
more than a necessity.
If you choose to meet other lesbians
while traveling around the island, I recommend stopping by a lesbian B&B called
Sweet House #12 (B3{,,1251JG),opened by
Reishi Chang this past October. Because
same-sex marriage is still not legal in Taiwan, Reishi's mom wanted to help create a
place where her daughter's lesbian friends
could retire one day. Reishi tells me she
hopes that this B&B will eventually expand
to become a"lesbian village:' She's hired lesbian friends from Taiwan, Hong Kong and
South Africa to help paint murals on the
walls. To get there, take the Taiwan Railway Administration
(TRA) train to the
Douliu Station in Yun Lun. The B&B is a
$5 taxi ride from the Douliu Station. This
part of town is quite rural. Sweet House
#12 provides bikes, which is a great way
to explore the surrounding rice paddies.
There are also many teahouses in the mountains nearby. •
FEATURES/
ISSU
TAIPEI
IFYOU GO
Fembooks
Address: No. 7, Lane 56, Section 3,
Xinsheng South Road, Daan District,
Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2364 8244
Gin Gin's
Address: No. 8, Alley 8, Lane
210, Section 3, Lu6sifu Road,
Zhongzheng District, Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2364 2006
Good Cho's
Address: No. 54, Songqin Street,
Xinyi District, Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2758 2609
Hours
Address: No. 12, Alley 8, Lane
210, Section 3, Lu6sifu Road,
Zhongzheng District, Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2364 2742
Lezs Meeting
Website: www.lezsmeeting.com
E-mail: lezsmeeting@gmail.com
M Cubic
Address: 12F, No. 138, Section
4, Bade Road, Core Pacific City,
Songshan District, Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 3762 2730
Taboo
Address: B1, No. 90, Section 2,
Jiangu6 North Road, Zhongshan
District, Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2518 1119
Witch House
Address: No. 7, Lane 56, Section 3,
Xinsheng South Road, Daan District,
Taipei City
Tel: +886 2 2362 5494
Sweet House #12
Address: No.12, Tianxin Village,
Gukeng Township, Yunlin County
Tel: +886 9 3214 9012
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
41
FEATURE/ST
T
he party ended for Courtenay
Semel the day that Casey Johnson,
the love of her life, was found dead.
Up until then, Semel was linked in the press
socially, romantically and sometimes erroneously to the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Tila
Tequila, the Hilton sisters, the Kardashians
and other notorious figures from Hollywood's nightlife. After the 30-year-old Johnson & Johnson heiress died tragically in her
L.A. home in January 2010, Semel reevaluated her own life, bolted from the spotlight,
and got hell-bent on cleaning up her act.
Semel recently resurfaced, with a new home
in the Hollywood Hills, a Masters degree in
clinical psychology, and a mission to spread a
little rainbow love.
"When [Casey] passed away, that was kind
of my wake-up call;' says Semel, seated in
the airy living room of her Hollywood Hills
home. "And it was kind of a moment where I
decided I could continue to go down that rabbit hole, or I can completely reinvent myself
and change, and do something that actually
has a purpose:'
Her purpose, she now believes, is to use
her life experiences to help young people who
are going through the addictions, self-esteem
issues and other burdens of youth that nearly
destroyed her life and contributed indirectly
to the death of her beloved Casey, who died
from Diabetic Ketoacidosis. Semel wants
to use her influence and resources, as the
daughter of the former head of Warner Bros.
and later, the CEO of Yahoo, to draw attention
to issues close to her heart.
In an exclusive interview with Curve,
Semel spoke of a new project that she hopes
will draw attention to this year's Supreme
Court decision on gay marriage. She was
inspired after a recent viewing of the film
Brokeback Mountain caused her to look
deeper into the tragic love story about two
men victimized by a strict moral code. "For
me, it really struck a chord;' says Semel.
"These two people were madly in love, and
they had to force themselves to be in relationships to live a straight, 'normal' life, just
because someone somewhere decided it
wasn't OK for two men to be together or two
women to be together.
''Although the ending in my relationship
was so tragic, at least I was able to shout from
a rooftop that I loved this person, and not
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
43
have a family against me:'
Semel came up with a "kind of cool pro}
ect;' she says. "I wanted to be loud and proud
about rainbow love. And every color of the
rainbow is beautiful. Any person of any color,
size, shape, background, should be able to
fall in love with whomever comes their way,
and their soul matches another soul, and
they want to be together:'
The resulting murals from L.A. street artists MAR and Annie Preece fill the spacious
garage in Semel's hillside home. The floor
and walls are bursting with all the colors of
the rainbow, and the centerpiece is a unicorn
that graces one wall.
"I kept screen shooting this woman's art.
It was this unicorn, it had rainbows, and it
was gorgeous and it just made me happy;'
says Semel, explaining how she decided on
the artwork. She found both artists through
LAB on La Brea. "My other thing was I
wanted to drive into a rainbow, like I was
driving into a video game:'
A local artist who goes by the name MAR
painted the rainbow "highway:'
"I thought about this for awhile;' says
Semel. "I asked myself, 'What is the craziest
way to get this point across?' We've seen like,
Chris Brown doing street art on his house. I
wanted it to be the centerpiece of my home.
And my garage is my entrance to my home,
that's what I drive into every day:'
Both artists were drawn to the idea for what
Semel's vision represents. "I was so happy that
the ban was lifted and I wanted to do something
different. And that's why this project came
about;' Semel says. "The artists, Annie and
MAR,jumped at it ... they said,'we want to be
a part of this; and have created the most amazing two murals. They gave their time just to be
a part of it. This is their support of the LGBT
community.
"It's exactly the way I felt when I wasn't
able to speak for myself when I was outted:'
Rumors about Semel's sexuality began
surfacing about 2007.
"While I'm in the middle of trying to
form my own identity separate from my
father's, getting outed as Terry Semel's
lesbian daughter, I was never fully able to
state my own sexuality for myself;' says
Semel, still indignant.
There's no doubt, however, how she
felt about Johnson. "I didn't even say, hi
I'm Courtenay and I'm a lesbian;' Semel
says now. "I said, Casey and I are in love. I
believe you fall in love with the person,
period. I hope with society and especially
now with the ban being lifted, I know the
younger generation is a lot more liberal and
hopefully there will be no more labels of
any kind at some point. It will be a person's
choice to label themselves:'
The bottom line, Semel declares, is
"you can't help who you fall in love with. I
believe you follow your heart, and that's why
I wanted to create this project, to basically say
follow your heart, spread the love, share the
rainbow love. And again love is love, no matter
what color of the rainbow it comes in:'
Semel is single now but, she points out
with a laugh, "It's a two-car garage:'
Not surprisingly, sexuality is an underlying
issue in her role as a marriage and family therapist. "The fear and not wanting to deal with
the reality and not wanting to deal with the
rejection from friends;' says Semel, "a lot them
will drown themselves in drugs and alcohol
just to be able to cope:'
"It's funny;' Semel adds, "Casey always
knew this is what I wanted to do with my life.
And I believe that I have an angel watching
over me. I felt it the day I started school:'
Helping others who are going through
what she did for those tumultuous years in the
public eye, "is the most fulfilling thing ever in
my life;' she says, "way more fulfilling than any
party I attended, or anything I've ever done:'•
''
wanted to
be loud and
proud about
rainbow love.
And every color
of the rainbow is
beautiful.
I
''
HAMPTOl'l3
one
Kim Stolz and Lexi Ritsch wed in style.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
I PHOTOS BY FRED MARCUS
O
n June 15,just days before DOMA
was repealed, New York lesbian
couple Alexis Jean Ritsch (Lexi),
30, and Kimberly Lynn Stolz (Kim), 30,
were married in Bridgehampton, at the home
of Stolz's parents. Stolz is VP of Equity
Derivatives for Citigroup, Inc., and the
owner of The Dalloway restaurant in Soho,
where Ritsch is the general manager.
The ceremony took place in the front garden, under a large arched gate. Cucumber
water, pink lemonade, and a vodka grapefruit
punch kept family and friends refreshed as
Kim and Lexi recited their self-penned vows.
Dr. Katrina Foster of the Amagansett
Lutheran Church officiated. The guests
followed the couple through the gate to the
cocktail hour, which was around the pool.
Garden tables were festooned with bistro
lights and lush floral arrangements by Sag
Harbor Florist. The hors d'oeuvres were
supplied by Art of Eating, the Hamptons'
preeminent caterer. Guests supped on doubledipped dogs, soft-shell crab BLTs, and sausage cups, and as the sun set the wedding
48
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
party adjourned to a Sperry sailcloth tent
decorated with mix-matched vintage furniture and lounge sections, rustic farm tables
topped with silk runners, chandeliers and
pastel-toned flowers. The dinner featured
a Hamptons plate: a bite-size lobster roll,
baked Long Island clams, and a shot glass of
Long Island clam chowder. Guests were also
treated to a culinary preview of the couple's
honeymoon destination, Southeast Asia,
with Peking duck (hand-carved and rolled
in scallion pancakes), boxes of lo mein and
an assortment of dumplings. At the Hamptons station-for
those not wanting to stray
below the equator-were
rib eye steaks,
twice-baked potatoes and wedge salad.
The night was filled with dancing (music
by Creations, featuring Kim Sozzi, a DJ),
and Dreesen's Donuts (a Hamptons staple)
were served piping hot to order. For latenight snackers, mini burgers, truffle grilled
cheeses and French fry cones were served.
The Hamptons setting was appropriate,
since the couple met at a quintessential
Hamptons dive bar. "I walked around back
to see the most beautiful girl in the world.
I had seen her once before in N.Y.C., at a
gay bar, where she completely passed when
I introduced myself;' recalls Lexi. "Kimmy
offered to buy me a drink and a hot tub dip
later that evening. We were inseparable:'
They began discussing the importance
of marriage early on, and Lexi proposed in
March 2012. "Being able to wed the woman
of your dreams is something we had both
hoped for, for a very long time;' she says.
She selected a diamond with her mom,
Meri, in early January, and they both
planned a surprise proposal. "Unlike anyone else," says Lexi, "Kim loves surprises,
but also loves to play detective-and
this
time she was right. As only she could do, she
whispered to me, 'I know you're proposing
in Antigua.' Well, that was that-I
was
determined to finally surprise her. I put a
rush on the ring, and quickly ran through
some new ideas, all of which somehow
dissipated. I ended up proposing at [the
restaurant] Jean-Georges. I refused to check
my down coat [the temporary fortress that
held the ring], forced Kimmy to sit in the
booth seat, I forced her to unseasonably
order the lobster, her favorite, and then simply demanded her to marry me, fumbling
the ring out of my coat just seconds after she
asked me, 'Lexi, is everything OK? You're
acting strangely:"
Within minutes of being engaged, "finger
envy" began, says Lexi. Just a few weeks later,
she says "Kimmy tricked me into attending
a trunk show at the Thompson, on the Lower
East Side. She went as far as to have one
of my best friends create a Facebook invite.
On the elevator up to the penthouse I felt
my heart flutter, and the elevator opened to
a pathway of flower petals to my beautiful
bride standing on the balcony:'
Their honeymoon in Bali, the Philippines and Hong Kong was perfectly exotic,
but glad news from home-the
repeal of
DOMA-was
still able to reach them. "It
actually happened 10 days after our wedding, and we were in the Philippines;' says
Kim. "We ordered a bottle of champagne
and celebrated:'•
Double Threat
With a voice like Melissa Etheridge and an arm like Joe Montana,
Sarni Grisafe is poised to conquer the world. eY LYNDSEY D'ARCANGELo
L
ast summer, singer-songwriter Sarni
Grisafe, 28, belted out the national
anthem under the clear blue sky
of the 2013 International Federation of
American Football (IFAF) Women's World
Championship. She was armed with only
her wonderfully raspy voice and the sweet
sound of a ukulele.
Standing proudly in front of her teammates, the opposing team, fans and officials,
Grisafe was completely at ease. But as soon
as the anthem ended, she flipped the intensity switch, quickly strapped on her helmet
and joined her teammates in the huddle.
Grisafe's road to the Women's National
Football Team began when she was just 10
years old.
"Honestly, I didn't know much about the
game of football, (because] I was really heavy
into baseball at the time. (My friend] invited
me to go with him [to football camp]. I went
so I wouldn't be left bored at home. After the
final day of camp, I ran home and begged my
mom, on my knees, to let me play:'
Grisafe's mother was naturally worried
about her daughter's safety. She even called
the president of Redlands Junior All-American Football and talked to him about her
concerns. "He said if I didn't like it after two
weeks, she could have a full refund;' laughs
Grisafe. "I've been playing ever since and my
parents are my biggest fans:'
As time went by, Grisafe's love for the
game grew. So did her talent. In fact, she
became the first female in California to play
quarterback in a varsity, Division I football
game. After high school, Grisafe found a
way to extend her football career.
"I first heard about the Chicago Force
during my time at Roosevelt University,
Chicago College of Performing Arts. I was
in the theater office during a break between
classes and the office manager was talking
about an article written about the Chicago
Force. He said, 'Sarni, I know you played
football in high school, but these girls look
like they mean business: I took that as a
challenge and emailed the General Manager,
50
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
Linda Bache. By February 2007, I was a
member of the team:'
Since becoming the starting quarterback
for the Chicago Force, Grisafe has amassed
an impressive 50-6 overall record. Her
quarterback rating (which would place her
alongside some of the best players in NFL
history) is a whopping 131.3, and she was
selected to the All-Star team in her first five
seasons. In her best performance as a pro,
Grisafe threw for over 500 yards and seven
Great moments
on the field can feel
like a really good song,
the rest of the world
fades away ...
''
touchdowns. Amazing, yes. But ESPN hasn't
reported a word of it.
"Exposure is a difficult thing right now
because of the amount of [sports] competing for attention;' Grisafe explains. "So, it's a
challenge to introduce anything that people
don't already know about. (But] I challenge
ESPN and any other major sports network
to come watch a game. I am (also] really
excited about the documentary, The Tackle
Girls (to be released in 2014), and honored
they've chosen to feature my personal story.
It will do a lot to raise awareness for women's
football and hopefully inspire young girls
to continue to play the sport they love into
their adult years:•
Though the sports bug bit her first, Grisafe's love for music was always lurking in
the background. "I grew up around music
since both my parents and my aunt were in
a group and sang professionally;' she says. "I
always enjoyed it, but didn't see myself as a
singer or musician until I was in college:'
Grisafe's style of music is both gritty and
folksy, a combination that she likes to call
"provo-rock" because it's both provocative
and honest. "People always assume that I
am very tough and kind of a brute, but I'm a
softy at heart;' she laughs.
Her current album, Atlantis is a good
reflection of this. "The concept behind
Atlantis is a place where nobody has to be
afraid of who they are or of following their
dreams;' Grisafe explains. "Sometimes it's
hard to dive in and take the risk, but because
there are so many people who believe in love
and supporting humanity, we can become a
more connected and supportive world:'
Opening for Chely Wright is just one
of the highlights in Grisafe's music career
thus far. "I was really excited as I have a lot
of respect for the courage and vulnerability
(Wright] displayed in telling her story to the
world. My [own] sexuality affected me as a
songwriter at first, because I was dishonest
with myself for so long and I believe music
must come from an honest place. One of the
first songs I wrote when I really decided to
be honest with who I was and what I was
feeling at the time is 'Carousel; which is on
the Atlantis album:'
With both her music career and football career going well these days, Grisafe is
a very busy woman. "My football manager
and coaching staff, and my music manager
know that each are equally important to
me. Over this past year we've evolved our
strategy to focus on sports and music as
equally part of my overall brand instead of
separate activities:'
In other words, Grisafe doesn't plan on
quitting either one anytime soon. And why
should she:>
"Great moments on the field can feel like
a really good song, the rest of the world
fades away and the only thing you are aware
of is that you are feeling something deeply.
(But] the best is when the two come together like when I sang the national anthem
and then took the field to win the World
Championship:'•
FEATURES/
F
or those who haven't had the pleasure of talking with her one-on-one,
it may be hard to reconcile JD Samson's public persona with the way she comes
across in private. The hip, androgynous Samson, known for proudly sporting a pencil-thin
mustache, also known for singing-and
on
occasion screaming-some
pretty confrontational lyrics ("My gift to you is a mercy
fuck;' anyone?). But away from the spotlight,
the former Le Tigre member and current
leader of MEN is actually tentative, funny
and shy. More than anything, she comes
across as genuine and easy to talk with.
For the uninitiated, Samson, who grew
up in rural Ohio and went to college at
Sarah Lawrence, is a musician, a producer
-DJ-remixer, a performance artist, and an
activist. (She cites her grandmother and
Lynnee Breedlove of the queercore band
Tribe 8 as two of her biggest influences.)
Samson joined Le Tigre after the trio had
already experienced some success. Since
their breakup in 2005, Kathleen Hannawho was often considered the leader of the
democracy that was Le Tigre-has
kept
a low profile, battling illness for almost a
decade. Just recently, she released the album
Run Fast with a new band, The Julie Ruin.
Samson, meanwhile, cofounded the band
MEN and has emerged as their frontwoman-a role she embraces with mixed feelings.
"It was difficult;' she says about making the
transition from being a member of one band
to being the leader of another. 'Tm really shy
sometimes. It's fun to feel the music and
dance and be [part of] it, but for me to have
the mic and have to address the audience
makes me trip over myself a lot. I enjoy
collaborating more than being a leader. I
really love being able to say, 'Do you think
this sucks:" And then have someone I trust
say, 'This is amazing' or 'Let's switch this
part of it: I've always been a natural collaborator, and I think it's really an important
part of my process:'
MEN's sophomore album, Labor (released
in October), differs from their debut, Talk
About Body, in several ways. "With [this]
record, we lost a couple of band members
to their original careers, visual arts and
writing;' Samson says. 'And [we] knew that
we were making a record for an audience. I
think that was the biggest difference. It's
always strange to make a sophomore record,
because you have all these expectations
from your fans and for yourself:' Johanna
Fateman, who, as the third member of Le
Tigre, played a big role in Talk About Body,
was less directly involved in Labor. Samson
has clearly emerged as the leader of MEN,
reluctantly or not. Although the core of the
band is now Samson and multi-instrumentalist Michael O'Neill, "with every tour, we
kind of bring other people into the project
and [they] become collaborators;' she says.
"So we've been working with Lee Free, who
used to play with [Beach], and also Tami
Hart, who had a band, Making Friendz.
I've known Tami for a long time. We also
brought in outside producers for this record,
so that was a new element. We worked with
Triple Exchange, Alex Suarez, and Yuksek,
who are all pretty great, established producers and writers:'
That song is
the first love song
I've ever written
in my life.
THE L LI
of writing this record, which is one of the
reasons it's called Labor;' Samson explains.
"It was very hard work, and very much about
emotional processing:' An example of this
would be the disc's first single, 'All the Way
Thru:' Samson says,"That song is the first love
song I've ever written in my life;' says Samson.
"I felt like it was such a statement, to put out
a love song-for me at least- [because] I've
been so focused on making political music. It's
about my girlfriend that I'm with now. And it
was one of those things where I wrote it in five
minutes and sang it in five minutes. It's kind
of about the idea of being done with having
relationships that aren't going to last because
you're in them for the wrong reasons-and
finding yourself in the right relationship and
making yourself as vulnerable as you can be:'
Samson also says that she and O'Neill
were originally going to call the new album
"work:' But then it dawned on her that if
they did, seeing as they're called MEN,
there might be too many comparisons to
the massive '80s band Men at Work. At the
suggestion that she would've had to include
a version of Men at Work's No. l hit"Down
Under;' she cracks up and, without missing
a beat, replies, "That would have a whole
different meaning:• (menmakemusic.com) •
''
As to her role in MEN, and O'Neill's,
Samson laughs nervously. "I mostly have
been like the chief of the band, I guess, [but]
I don't want to be a dictator or something. I
write all the words and melodies. I'll make
a beat and maybe, like, a little [demo of the
song]. Then I'll be, like, 'Michael, will you
play this bass part on live bass, like this, really
funky, with a walk-down here, and bring it
up for the chorus:" Or whatever. And he's
really good at instrumentation, so he can do
that straightaway:'
Labor also differs from MEN's first album
in that it's a more personal effort. This may
be hard to recognize when you first hear it,
since it's largely an electronic album. But if
you study the lyrics, it becomes obvious that
the tide can be taken in more ways than one.
"I learned a lot about myself in the process
NOVEMBER
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FEATURES/
For one thing, as most readers no doubt
know, it gained her a huge lesbian following.
And for another, the deep-voiced brunette
caught the eye of first-time director Stacie
Passon and producer Rose Troche for the
lead in their project Concussion. Her exceptional performance as Abby in that film has
garnered her notice around the globe and
even some Oscar buzz, to add to her 2004
Emmy nomination for Calamity Jane and
several theater award nominations.
Concussion explores the sexual metamorphosis of a suburban mom who decides to
change her life after she receives a blow to
the head. Impelled by her own misplaced
fury at her son-who
threw the offending
baseball-and
a stifling dissatisfaction with
her life, the former interior designer decides
to flip a N.Y.C. loft, which ends up housing
her new career as a hooker. Weigert is mesmerizing as the desolate woman whose wife
(Julie Fain Lawrence) has completely shut
down. With its comic vignettes conveying
the absurdity of modern-day parenting, the
film is a most impressive display of Weigert's range and depth. Passon's brilliant
choice to make prostitution Abby's means
to fulfillment gives us plenty of lesbian sex
scenes-sometimes
kind of icky, sometimes
super-hot (especially the scenes with one of
the neighborhood mothers played by Maggie Siff). This role should seal the deal for
Weigert as a lesbian icon.
This past June, on Opening Night at the
Frameline Film Festival in San Francisco,
Weigert told the audience at the Castro
Theatre that she'd tried hard not to take the
role in Concussion because she was scared
of it. When Curve caught up with Weigert
the following day, she explains, "It's funny, I
don't have a way of doing anything but with
my whole heart. I don't have this thing that I
slightly envy but also don't even understand
in other people-which
is to say, they can
represent a thing mechanically and be fine
with that. I can't do it:'
Part of her trepidation stemmed from the
many sex scenes. Handled badly, they could
have been a nightmare, or, as she told the
Castro audience, soft porn-ish, which would
have been worse. "I knew that if I was going
to be playing all these sex scenes, that I would
be there for that;' she confides to Curve. "I
don't know any other way of putting it, that I
would just be there for that, and that I would
have to go through all of that;' she laughs. "I
don't have a door that closes where I can go
bump, chicka, bump, baaaa:'
A discriminating viewer herself, she
also perceives the lack of quality in lesbian
filmmaking. "Sadly, [I had] not seen many
lesbian films that I thought were [pause]
dimensional. There are some, of course ...
there are some. But there's a real paucity.
Concussion is not a salacious tale. In the
wrong hands, it could be:'One of the aspects
of working with Passon that she came to
value most was that the director didn't"disallow" her intelligence, and Weigert was
able to collaborate with her. Still, before
filming began, there was no work of Passon's that she could review, and she'd have
to trust an unknown director. "I just didn't
know what I would be filtered into. I knew
I was going into a meat grinder of some
kind, I just didn't know what I would come
out as on the other side. It was just a real
leap of faith. It's been wonderful, the way
''
I don't have
a way of doing
anything but
with my
whole heart.
''
it's played out, because it's been a beautiful
example of 'Do the thing that frightens
you and life will reward you for that choice:
I think we're all meant to do the thing that
frightens us:' For Weigert, she knew she
was hooked when she started dreaming
about Abby. "It wasn't letting me go:'
As for the shooting of the sex scenes,
some were scripted, such as her encounter
with her Sons of Anarchy co-star Maggie
Siff, others were not. She told the Castro
audience that the final sex scene was rushed
because of the setting sun. She thought the
actor was reticent, which turned out to be
wrong, but she felt she needed to take command-a result she calls "white hot:'
Stacie Passon had been experiencing her
THE L LI
own doubts as a first-time director. "I knew
I was going to go toward mumblecore because
I wasn't a confident director;' Passon told
Curve at Frameline, but Weigert's work inspired her. "She was such a confident actor
with her range. She was the person who
could go and do all that Calamity Jane stuff.
She just took it to such an internal place that
it just flowed from there:' In the end, she felt
Weigert's performance was "amazing. I love
her. She's terrific:'
Weigert's seamless performance as a mother
comes entirely from her skill as an actor. She
has no children. "I don't have that thing where I
really must have kids. I'm not for some reason
one of those women:'
Her talent also allows her to carry off one
of the tougher roles-a drunk. Weigert's turn
as Calamity Jane rises to the level of Shakespeare's truth-telling fools. Lesbian audiences,
so long starved for representation in history
and film, were thrilled that Deadwood chose
to make explicit the love story between Jane
and the prostitute-turned-brothel owner Joanie
Stubbs (Kim Dickens).
"It's tremendously hard for [Jane] to allow
herself to be vulnerable with Joanie;' says
Weigert. "It's a huge challenge. She fights it
tooth and nail. Those scenes are very endearing to look at, just how tough it is for her to
trust a blessed thing, and that she can't but
give over to it:'
Weigert likes to compare the "crazy long
scene" after their first kiss, when Jane tries
to recite her dream to Joanie, with Brando's
iconic scene from A Streetcar Named Desire.
"It was like one long version of [in voice]
'Stella!!!' It was like that-it was like [in voice]
"Aaaaaaaaw!" with a million words inside of
it. She doesn't even know what she's doing
and it's great. She's on her knees in front of
her and saying it and saying it, and they end
up kissing and it's done ... It could just be the
urgency of saying what she does not have the
emotional vocabulary to say, really. She does
not have the words to say Tve fallen in love
with you; or anything even close to that, but
she can [in Calamity Jane's voice] kinda say
at lot of other things ... and that's just what
comes out, because it's what's in there:'
She's surprised at the lesbian following
for Calamity Jane, "because that is not a sexy
character;' and equally surprised to hear the
character called butch. "It's funny to me even
NOVEMBER
2013
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55
TURES/
THE L LIST
to say she's butch. She's just surviving in this
form:' She does acknowledge that Jane hates
to wear a dress. "She gets very mad when
they make her put one on;' she laughs.
"It's interesting because it just has a lot to
do with my sense of how love works, which
is sort of outside of categories. I think Jane
was very much in love with Bill Hickock, in a
sort of fantasy way perhaps, but I think that
her love of Joanie ... it's a place she found love.
I don't know that it's inside of any definition.
I wouldn't say that it necessarily meant that
the Calamity Jane we were depicting was a
gay character. It meant that she found love in
Joanie Stubbs and Joanie found love in her. It
was so organic:'
Since that fateful day in L.A., Weigert's
career has skyrocketed. She now has a reel
that includes supporting roles with George
Clooney and Cate Blanchett ( The Good
German), Halle Berry and Benicia del Toro
(Things We Lost in the Fire),Renee Zellweger
(My One and Only), and Philip Seymour
Hoffman (Synecdoche,New York).
Next up, she will continue in her television role as Ally Lowen, the high-heeled
attorney who defends a Hells Angels-ish
gunrunning motorcycle gang on Sons of
Anarchy. In film, she has a role (Vicky the
Tree) in the upcoming comedy Gods Behaving Badly, directed by Marc Turtletaub
(Little Miss Sunshine). The cast, an all-star
ensemble, includes Sharon Stone (Aphrodite),
Edie Falco (Artemis) and Christopher
Walken (Zeus). She also has another indie
film coming out, as yet untitled, where she
plays the mother of a gay son-again working with a first-time director-because
she
found the script intelligent and intriguing.
But whatever her upcoming work entails,
it'll be worth watching: for her looks that
say a thousand words, her tough exterior,
and her sweet, bewildered, melt-in-themiddle vulnerability. (robinweigert.com) •
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2013
M
ultitalented, charming (and more
than likely tipsy) Hannah Hart
has no trouble garnering a dedicated audience, whether it's online or in person.
The "small business owner" unintentionally
created a YouTube sensation when she popped
open a bottle of wine one night and indulged
a friend's request for a drunk cooking video.
Hart subsequently embarked on a whirlwind
journey that has found her touring the world,
and of course, capturing every laugh-worthy
moment on video along the way.
Hart didn't always have her mind set on
becoming the web chefbian that she is today.
As a kid, Hart dreamed of one day becoming
a teacher. She was a "big reader" and enjoyed
putting pen to paper on the side. While she
did not end up teaching in a school, she is
undoubtedly educating people around the
world on her most important piece of advice:
To "make the most out of their lives" by doing what they love. Hart has no reservations
about pursuing her own dreams, regardless
of how unplanned they are. What would she
say to her childhood self who one day envisioned becoming a schoolteacher? "You're doing great, stay you" and "do your homework on
time:' Is there any better advice to giver
With the realization that My Drunk Kitchen,
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2013
a show that wittily "revolves around off the
cuff kind of improv;' had become an international hit, Hart decided to expand her horizons. The always upbeat lesbian, who enjoys
"long meandering walks, impromptu dance
parties, artisanal cheeses, and ladies," now
has a collection of online videos not only
offering drunk cooking tips, like how to make
the "Sad Nachos" pictured here, but also doles
out slightly intoxicated Advicefrom the Hart,
shares creative music with fans, and of course
uploads laugh-out-loud comedy that will
keep you clicking "next" for hours.
Offiine, Hart recently completed the first
leg of her world tour, Hello, Harto, which
started last April. Hannah and her crew
traveled across the U.S. and Canada for three
months, meeting fans at every stop. After
"getting feedback from the audience asking
for a tour to travel to their kitchens;' Hannah
did just that. Her travel "vlogs" record every
moment of the unplanned hilarity. Hart, intent on making hearts swell with more than
just her cooking, is also dedicated to helping
others. Stops on the Hello, Harto tour don't
merely involve cooking, they also engage
fans in hands-on volunteer meet-ups. Hart
enthusiasts engaged in a number of food
drives, where thousands of pounds of food
were packed by the hands of each and every
volunteer, proving there is definitely more
to Hart than her unique brand of drunken
comedy.
Next on the list of Hart's endeavors is leg
two of Hello, Harto, where she plans to visit
fans in kitchens across Europe. Bon Voyage!
(hartoandco.com) •
TRY THIS AT HOME:
PEAR & GINGER
DROP
INGREDIENTS
2 oz vodka
1/4 oz Clear Creek Pear Brandy
1/2 oz lemon juice
1/2 oz lime juice
1 oz simple syrup
1 oz ginger puree
METHOD
Pour into a pint glass with ice,
shake and strain into a large (10 oz)
sugar-rimmed martini glass.
P
ortland Oregon's Lucy Brennan has
been voted one of the best mixologists in the country by Food and
Wine, Bon Appetit and Playboy magazines.
She's known for creating simple drinks with
sometimes offbeat ingredients. At her Mint
and 820 restaurants, she uses mostly local,
fresh ingredients and liquors from local
distilleries. Lucy is the author of Hip Sips:
Modern Cocktails to Raise Your Spirits. She
shares with us her recipe for a festive Ginger
Drop cocktail.
Tell us about the Curve cocktail.
It's a twist on a Lemon Drop with a bit of
ginger puree. It's festive. Ginger is a good
flavor to use around this time of year. And I
60
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2013
was thinking, "Ladies like Lemon Drops:' It's
a great pre-Thanksgiving or pre-Christmas
dinner drink.
What's your inspiration when creating a
new drink?
I like to keep things simple. I like to keep
my drinks with less than five ingredients. If
you put too much into a drink it makes it
unbalanced.
What makes a drink balanced?
It isn't too sweet. It isn't too tart. Nothing
pops out, so that means it's balanced. It's like
cooking to me. You have to make sure everything is equal. Not overbearing. Typically
when you see sugar on the rim, it's going to
mean the drink inside is going to be a little
bit on the tarter side.
Of all the drinks you've invented, what's
your favorite?
I'd say the Avocado Daiquiri because it was
pushing the envelope back in the day. When
I first made it people thought I was crack
crazy, which I am. That was about 15 years
ago. It took 2- 3 years to perfect it. It's one
of my classic cocktails now. That's my ugly
duckling that's turned into a swan. People
come from around the country to taste it.
What are the essentials for a home bar?
A shaker and a pint glass. You shake drinks
because you want all of the ingredients to
marry together. If I weren't to shake it and
just pour everything into a glass, it wouldn't
taste very good. Also, a muddler. A peeler,
lemons, limes, good vodka. I have a list in
Hip Sips for people to put a bar together.
What do you recommend if someone is
throwing a party around the holidays?
I know Christmas is upon us when we' re
going to have a Champagne Cocktail.
Where do lesbians go wrong?
I am not answering that question in a lesbian
magazine! No! I plead the Fifth. I'd like to
date!
I mean when throwing a cocktail party.
Too many ingredients. Keep the drinks pretty
basic and well balanced. And don't offer too
many cocktails, offer just a couple. Like a
Champagne Cocktail and the Ginger Drop.
Just have fun making drinks. Use local ingredients and fresh fruit instead of a sour mix. Buy
my book and come to Portland and come say hi
at Mint and 820. (mintand820.com) •
Three Women/
One Table
I
magine yourself seated around a wellappointed table (plenty of flowers,plenty of
wine), surrounded by women who share a
common interest in the culinary arts, exchanging
conversation and enjoying innovative, seasonal
dishes-a thematic series of flavors inspired by
different regions around the world.
Welcome to One Table Brooklyn, a lesbiancentric gathering that aims to indulge the
gastronomically inclined. The event was created
by thirty-somethings Nekisia Davis, Betsy
Devine, and Deanna Maher, a local trio well
versed in the delights and demands of New
York's restaurant scene.
"Weve all worked places that weve loved,
but we would've done things a little differently;'
says Davis, who heads up One Tables front-ofhouse operation."This is our opportunity to let
our work shine-to 'play restaurant' and create
an environment that we love and is inviting to
people. And theres a common thread among
them: They like good food and wine:'
The three women met a few years ago working at the now-famous Brooklyn Flea, a Saturday
market in the Fort Greene neighborhood that
hosts some of the best food vendors in the city.
Devine was representing Salvatore Bklyn, her
Italian-inspired artisanal cheese stand, when she
met Maher, who fronted the Shucks clam stand,
in addition to her gigs at two top Manhattan
restaurants, Prune and Buvette. Likewise, Davis introduced herself while selling her delicious
small-batch Early Bird Granola.
From there on in, the three found an instant
kinship they compare to "crazy mad love affairs"
(in a strictly platonic sense). Then, at a casual
hangout during Pride 2012, Maher came up
with the idea of creating an intimate culinaryand woman-centric event that would serve up
an exciting alternative to the bar scene.
''Although this is primarily a dinner, our
little pop-up restaurant is definitely a place for
people to meet each other;' says Maher.
The delights of a
queer-centric
supper club.
BY KELSY CHAUVIN
Davis adds, "Part of the reason were doing
this is so women can get around a table and
talk and have a conversation, and not have that
cliquey feeling you get at a bar, or feeling like
to walk up to someone you should have a line
prepared. This is just a dinner party, and you
sit around a table and have a conversation like
regular human beings, not like the crazy people
we may turn into when we go to a bar:'
Patrons agree-many
of them attending
One Table for the fantastic food more than
anything else."The queer part was least intriguing;' says wine specialist and foodie Jess Kiefer.
"I came more to learn what people are doing in
supper dubs:'
Since the first event, in February 2013,
One Table has steadily grown in popularity thanks to some incredible (and entirely
justified) word of mouth. For $85, up to 25
advance-reservation guests share at least 10
prix-fixe dishes, often served family-style,
with paired cocktails and wine. So far, the
three chefs have invented menus inspired by
Asian, rustic- Italian, and Corsican fare, and
have invited guest stars to participate-such
as Top Chef alum Ashley Merriman, who
now heads the kitchen at Manhattan's famed
Waverly Inn. Some recent standout dishes
include a squid-leek crostini, a ramp-eggguanciale appetizer, Sicilian veal with lemon
leaf, and a fennel-sardine grilled pizza.
One Table is held roughly every six weeks
at various restaurants in Brooklyn, and Maher
notes that both new and familiar faces appear
at each event, which speaks to the chefs' constant evolution and inventiveness. "We get to
be creative in doing things that we really eajoy;'
says Maher. "Like putting together a table and
a menu, forming great food and cocktails, and
creating a really nice environment for people to
be together. It's so rewarding to envision something for our community, and then making it
happen:' (onetablebrooklyn.com) •
FEATURES/
W
hen you think a decadent dessert, marshmallows might be
the last things that come to
mind. However, Tricia Medina, the creator
of Fluff It! Marshmallows, is about to change
the way you think about the sweetly spongy
confections forever.
Dense, rich, and delicious, handmade marshmallows have little in common with their storebought counterparts-and
Medina has taken
them to the next level by introducing a variety
of flavors that will make you a mallow convert.
Among her many delectable delicacies are the
Peanut Butter Cookie Marshmallow, in which
a smooth, cocoa-flavored marshmallow sits
atop a rich peanut butter cookie, covered in
a layer of milk chocolate and topped off with
peanut butter crumbles. The Maui Wowie
Marshmallow is a pifia colada lover's dream,
made with real pineapple juice and rolled in
sweet coconut flakes. The piece de resistanceis
Medina's Horchata Marshmallow, rich and
creamy with a cinnamon flavor than mimics
the Spanish drink. Eat it on its own or drop
one in a cup of steaming Mexican hot chocolate: Muy bueno!
While Medina has created a thriving business-spurred
on in equal parts by her supportive partner of 16 years, Hazel Arce, and
a hugely successful Kickstarter campaign,
through which she more than doubled her
goal-she is an accidental lesbian marshmallow maven. It was the combination of a friendly
competition among her co-workers and a desire
to reconnect with others, following the loss of
her beloved grandmother that helped her find
her passion and her path-and proved that life
could be sweeter than she ever imagined.
How did your passion for making marshmallows start?
It began with a monthly baking contest at
work among some of us managers with big
egos-we are a competitive group. The ladies
in the office chose marshmallow as the secret
ingredient and I came home determined to
make my own marshmallows, instead of buying them and placing them in a recipe. My
idea was to make a strawberry marshmallow
on top of a sugar cookie dipped in chocolate,
and it would be perfect. And yes, I did win
that month's contest.
How did making marshmallows help
you following the loss of your grandmother?
My grandmother passed in September 2012.
We were extremely dose-she was my best
friend, the every other beat of my heart. The
FO
last year of her life she showed signs of dementia, so I became more involved in her care and
had to make some hard decisions. I truly had a
hard time coping with her passing because we
had a routine, and I was so focused on that routine-until the contest came about and I made
others smile. I realized making the marshmallows sort of put me in my zen. So now I'm able
to think of the good memories I have of her
and not focus on what I could have done. I'm
able to work it out in my marshmallow therapy.
How do you select your flavors?
I do a lot of research online, to see what's out
there and if I can make it better. I have asked
on Facebook what flavors people would like
to try, and a lot of the employees at work like
to give suggestions, like a butterscotch marshmallow on top of an oatmeal cookie, or another
suggestion is a Mountain Dew marshmallow
rolled in Doritos, but I think I'll try them both
sans Doritos.
Your Horchata Marshmallows are incredible! Do you have a favorite flavor?
My favorite flavor is my Lemon Bar Marshmallow, on a sugar cookie. I love lemon pudding
and this just hits the spot.
What is in the future for Fluff It! as you
can imagine it?
My vision is a marshmallow coffee shop
where customers come in and grab a great
cup of coffee and a cookie fluff and enjoy
the ambience. Also, that people will come to
me to cater their special events, such as weddings, graduations, and get-togethers. We
always see cakes and cupcakes, but what
about an amazing marshmallow bar in multiple flavors or colors!
Fluff It! is such a great name. What does
it mean?
[Laughs] Some days you just want to say"Fluff
It!" and have a marshmallow.
Do you think marshmallows get the
respect they deserve, and should cupcakes be watching their backs?
Marshmallows just come to mind for campfires or hot cocoa, but they are so much more.
The flavors are endless and the sweetness is
just sweet enough to satisfy that sweet tooth.
I love a good cupcake, but sometimes all
that icing is just too much, and one Coconut
Marshmallow will do the trick. So, yes, cupcakes better watch out-the mallow craze is
coming. (fluffitbakery.com) •
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2013
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63
Of Wine and
W-omen
A French couple makes
wine and movie magic.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
D
·rector Fiona Cunningham-Reid had
·ust finished the film Kenya Murder
Mystery, which had been a draining
experience. She and her girlfriend, Edna, went
to stay with friends in Collias, in the south of
France. There, they met "Les Cabotines;' winemakers Jo Befort and Carole LeBlanc. "It was
winter, and the day after we met them they
had already persuaded us to help cut back
their vines-in the snow!" recalls Cunningham-Reid. "I had my stills camera and just
shot some video images, which unknowingly
became the first day of filming::
The filmmaker was intrigued "by their
commitment, by their delicious wine, and
by the women themselves. I soon realized
there was a possibility to make a gentle and
intimate film that could be done without
deadlines, with very little money and no
broadcaster involved. I could shoot it myself,
and through Carole and Jo we could immerse
ourselves in a totally different culture and
actually enjoy the whole filmmaking process.
We even have a home in France now!"
Though the women-both
behind the
camera and in front of it-are
lesbians,
Cunningham-Reid sees the story of Wine,
Women & Friends as universal. "It's about
love, conviviality and sharing. Too often the
feel-good factor in gay and lesbian lives is not
portrayed. Carole and Jo are successful out
lesbians in a small conservative village ... !
loved Carole and Jo's whole ethos, and hope
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2013
the film might show other lesbians that it is
possible to get on with your dream without
having to compromise. Winemaking is a very
macho affair in France, but so what? Go for it
and don't compromise yourself. It does help
that they do actually make good wine:'
As for the wine, pour yourself a glass of
your favorite and sit back and enjoy the fruits
of another couple's labor.
"Before I actually made wine, I had a poetic
image of it;' says LeBlanc, a tall, blond French
Canadian. "We started this project never realizing how much work was involved:' LeBlanc,
like the rest of us, fell in love with labels and
vintages and the romance that seems to spring
from the bottles as soon as they're uncorked.
She and Befort, a petite brunette from Alsace
whose grandmother did have some winemaking experience, started their wine adventure
six years ago. Their dream was to produce
excellent wine, supported only by their passion-and their friends. This lyrical film follows their winemaking and gently explores
their relationships with those around them,
and each other.
"We can't get on m the kitchen," says
LeBlanc. And yet their oenological adventure
is a success. Befort is in charge of the vines
and the harvest ( she has a second job as a veterinarian); LeBlanc commandeers the cellar.
And as one friend observes, when asked if
she ever doubted the success of the venture,
what Carole wants, Carole gets.
Harvest time brings their friends together
and they indulge in sampling the wine as
cicadas gently hum in the background. As
for not getting on in the kitchen, well, this
couple gets on just fine everywhere, and the
word "conviviality;' which crops up in the film
numerous times, is also the keynote of their
relationship.
"Tomorrow we start [harvesting] the Grenache;' says Befort. "It rained so we had to
weed just before the harvest:'
"Me, not we;' LeBlanc says, laughing, and
plucks something out of a pot on the stove
to taste.
The film has struck a chord with
audiences and critics, winning prizes at
wine film festivals around the world. It
has also been bought by the Bibliotheque
Nationale in Paris. In vino veritas, indeed.
(lescabotinesfilm.com) •
T
he aroma of fresh baked cookies fills
the air of a Tampa Bay, Fla. food
truck rally one sunny afternoon.
One might think there's a bakery nearby baking cookies, but the sweet aroma is fl.owing
from a bright blue truck with the name "Betty
Rocker Bakery" painted across it. Food trucks
are becoming increasingly common in the
U.S., but this is no ordinary food truck and
the desserts are not ordinary either. Professional baker, caterer, food enthusiast and out
lesbian Chasity Saleh is the woman behind
Betty Rocker Bakery and she has taken her
passion for baking and hit the road.
Saleh began baking for friends and family
but it wasn't until someone told her, "You're
not Betty Crocker ...with all your tattoos
you're Betty Rocker!" that it occurred to her
to turn her talent for confectionary into a
business. That was 10 years ago and she has
been baking ever since. It wasn't until late
2011, however, that she decided to venture
into the food truck business. "I never wanted
to go the online route either and very rarely
will ship my baked goods;' she says."I like them
to be the freshest possible and something about
shipping a cupcake, in my opinion, takes away
from that:'
From Drunken Brownies to Cheddar Bacon
Apple Pie, Saleh bakes all her desserts in her
food truck, incorporating different ingredients that normally wouldn't go togetherand she isn't shy about adding liquor to any
dessert. She mixes chilies and chocolate in
cookies, soaks bacon in whiskey, and incorporates bourbon into her brownies, hence
the "drunken" brownie. Her cakes are also
"boozie" (for instance, The King Boozie is
a chocolate cupcake with banana liquor and
a peanut butter cream frosting swirl, yum!)
and she pours a good amount of chocolate
vodka into her red velvet cupcakes.
But perhaps her most unconventional
treat is her buffalo chicken cupcake.
"I love making savory 'cupcakes: One of
them is a buffalo chicken wing cupcake. I
make a spicy corn cake swirled with buffalo
wing sauce that is then topped with either
a blue cheese or ranch sour cream-cream
cheese frosting. On top of that I garnish it
with a little bit of pulled buffalo chicken:'
"I think that my desserts are unique in
the quality of ingredients in them and the
freshness factor;' says Saleh. "I am the only
bakery food truck in my area, or really that I
know of that actually bakes all of their items
directly on their truck. Nothing is better than
the smell of cookies baking or the taste of a
warm cookie right from the oven and with
Betty Rocker Bakery you can get that! Other
bakery trucks have to bake their items off site
somewhere:'
In addition to baking, Saleh also caters
and attends food truck rallies in Tampa Bay.
But she can do more than just sweets from
cooking whole turkeys and chickens to making breads and sandwiches, Saleh refuses to
cook anything fried in her truck and only
uses local and organic products.
"After managing a sports bar and wing
place for years, I couldn't bear the thought
of anything fried on my truck;' she says.
"Plus I kind of like to balance the naughty
sweets out with healthier meal options!"
(facebook.com/ chasitycakes) •
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
65
She's
the
on the rise.
Nicole Pacent's star is
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FEATURES/
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TURES/COVER
STORY
I
t's all happening for Nicole Pacent.
The petite actor and general dynamo
has so much going on this monthfrom the next big thing by lesbian director
Nicole Conn, She Walks in Beauty, to the
video clip for songstress Jen Foster's next
hit, "She," to this gorgeous photo shoot for
Curve in Los Angeles.
"For a long time, I didn't really know how
to model;' says the Angelina Jolie look-alike.
But these days, Pacent is completely confident and at home in front of the camera -and
she's ridiculously and deliciously photogenic.
The Connecticut native moved to Hollywood
to be a star, though it's taken a little longer
than she'd hoped for her dreams to come
true. Projects have come and gone, as have
relationships with lovers, agents and managers. She's spent time "reclaiming" herself and
training in yoga, and has come back to her
craft in an empowering way,joining a Shakespearean repertory theatre company in April
and taking such physically and intellectually
challenging roles as the noble Olivia, who
falls for a cross-dressing Viola in Twelfth
Night; Hermia, the beautiful but headstrong
daughter in A Midsummer Night's Dream;
Imogen, the virtuous and tender princess
in Cymbeline; and the innocent yet ethical
Miranda in The Tempest.
"These roles have been life changing for
me. It was exactly what I needed. I feel like
I'm getting better and better, as a person and
as an actor. I feel more grounded and mature
than I did three years ago, more ready to
handle what's coming:'
And what is coming for Pacent could
be considerable. The New York-based
web series Anyone But Me is what lesbians
know Pacent for, but she has her sights set
firmly on film now-and
with any luck,
and the right project, we'll be seeing Pacent
on the big screen soon. One such project
could be Nicole Conn's next opus, She
Walks in Beauty.
"Nicole Pacent and the camera are one;'
says Conn, the director oflesbian festival fave
A Perfect Ending. "Her magnetic chemistry
lights up the moment she hears 'action: Not
only does the camera love her, you cannot
help but adore her very warm, outgoing,
and positive personality. I'm very excited to
work with her in our future projects. Like
Jessica Clark, she's going to break out, and
we'd love to be the ones who introduce her
to the world:'
The details about Pacent's character in She
Walks in Beauty are under wraps right now,
but she's excited enough to share that she
has a featured role, and that the story is set
in Hollywood and spans two different time
periods, as we follow the fortunes of a female
player in Tinseltown.
In this photo shoot, which channels
the nostalgia of the golden age of cinema,
Pacent is not just modeling-she's
playing
characters. One is an earnest Mulholland
Drive-type ingenue; another is channeling
Katharine Hepburn; and yet another, her
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favorite, is a cynical and noirish screen
siren "with nothing in her fridge but vodka.
She has attitude and confidence and swagger:'
She'll also be working with Wingspan
Pictures ( the company behind Jen Foster's
"She" video) on their upcoming feature,
Love Is All You Need. "I can't specify the
role yet, but I will, indeed, be working on
the project. They've already released the
short film version of the project [currently
available on YouTube], which is incredibly moving and unique, and has amassed
millions of views from all over the world.
They are a truly stellar production company, and I am really looking forward to
working with them:'
For an actor who has been "knocked on
her ass" a few times by the vicissitudes of the
film industry, Pacent herself remains starstruck. Her current onscreen crush is Rachel
McAdams. "I love her;' Pacent almost sings.
"Do I want to be her or do I want to be with
her?'' she muses. "She's awesome:'
Identifying as bisexual, and currently single,
Pacent remains dedicated to the advancement
of equality for the LGBT community. When
DOMA was repealed, she says she was so
relieved she "couldn't stop crying" for 24
hours. "You fight this fight for so long-it has
shaped my life-and you don't know how
it's going to feel when that goal is achieved. I
am so incredibly grateful to be a part of this
community, even if the 'B' is an afterthought
sometimes:'
Pacent aims to increase the visibility of
bisexuals and, like the actor Amber Heard,
is more than happy to go on the record
about that. "I would really like to create a
project that addresses this head on, because
it's so invisible. The trans community, in the
last year or two, has actually gotten more
visibility than the bisexual community.
When I look at the LGBT banner, it's like
we're just in there, but still really misunderstood. There needs to be something put out
there in the media, in entertainment, where
it can finally be taken seriously and seen as
a legitimate sexuality:'
And just as with her career, she's happy
to be a part of the process. 'Tm not putting
an end beat on this yet, and I'm happy to be
where I am right now:' (nicolepacent.com) •
70
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
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T
he invitation to Rancho La Puerta
couldn't have come at a better time.
Months of work and personal
stress had left me physically and mentally
exhausted. This legendary, all-inclusive spa in
Tecate, Mexico, just 45 miles southeast of San
Diego-with
fitness classes, nature hikes,
vegetarian food, and ( most appealing)
massage and spa treatments-was
just
what my body needed.
Founded in 1940 by health pioneers
Deborah and Edmond Szekely, Rancho La
Puerta has been repeatedly voted the No. 1
destination spa in the world by the readers of
Travel + Leisure magazine. Deborah is now
91-and
living proof of the benefits of fitness and good nutrition.
This was my first visit to anything more
than a day spa, and (after the massages) I
was looking forward to a few days of yoga,
meditation, hiking and healthy organic food.
Most guests come for a full seven days, but
I arrived midweek, just as lunch was being
served. I'd been advised that the portions
72
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
were small and that I should pack some
snacks, but as I looked down at my tray,
overflowing with gluten-free pizza, cucumber soup, tuna, cottage cheese and the most
beautiful and delicious salad I've ever eaten,
I couldn't imagine what more I could want.
The other guests hustled around the dining
room in their yoga pants, fresh from one of
the more than 70 exercise classes-everything from the Bar Method to water exercise.
At lunch, I met executive chef Denise Roa.
If the place is magical, as many people say
it is, then Denise Roa must be a magician.
Roa is in charge of the menus, the visiting
chefs at the cooking school, and the special
culinary events. She first came to the ranch
to teach a Saturday cooking class, but the
moment she stood in the doorway, she knew
one day she would work here. Three years
later, as she was recovering from a failed
restaurant venture and the end of a 15-year
relationship, Roa was offered her dream job.
"I was going to turn 40 and I knew I had to
change my life;' she says. In her first year at
the ranch, she went from a size 16 to a size
8-primarily
from eating healthier and
getting more exercise-and says that for the
first time she found balance.
'Tm at peace;' she says. "I love what I do.
I feel privileged. I eat much better. I exercise.
I'm out in the garden every day. I believe the
transformation started because the place
where we are is very spiritual. Mt. Kuchumaa
has a lot of energy, and that energy frees you
and allows you to grow:'
Roa's sentiments were echoed over and
over again by the guests I met, many of
whom were on their 20th, even 30th visit.
The guests are mostly women and I met at
least seven mother-daughter duos. Some
people come to kick-start a healthy lifestyle, or for the relaxation, but a surprising
number come to reconnect with the friends
they've made on previous visits.
In addition to the regular activities and
workshops at the ranch, each week has a
theme with visiting instructors. I arrived
during writers' week and enjoyed sitting
FEATURES/
in on a few writing workshops and author
events at night.
Rancho La Puerta boasts a voluptuous
organic farm, and one of the most popular
hikes is a 6:30 a.m. four-mile round trip to the
garden for a fresh breakfast and garden tour.
Most of the food served at the spa is grown
right there. The manager of the organic garden, Salvador Tinajero, passionately shares
his knowledge and readily plucks a ripe
melon, some cinnamon basil, or a leek from
the rich soil for guests to sample.
Although I love to cook, signing up for a
cooking class is not something I would normally consider when I'm on vacation, but
after meeting Roa and touring the garden,
I was eager to see what I could learn at La
Cocina que Canta (the kitchen that sings),
the onsite cooking school.
Visiting chef Raghavan Iyer (who outed
himself to me almost as soon as I walked in
the door) was teaching us how to make an
Indian meal that included banana fritters,
poached halibut, tamarind date chutney,
and cashew pistachio bars. With such cool
things on the menu, I was a bit disappointed
to end up in the group making potato leek
soup. But soon I bonded with my co-cooks
and by the end we were laughing and joking
as we chopped potatoes, leeks, and Serrano
chilies and blended them into a soup that
was comforting, with a kick. Almost everyone complimented us on its flavor.
As we sat together sampling the delicious
food we had just created, I got a glimpse into
what Rancho La Puerta is all about. People
don't get enough opportunities in their lives
to feel supported, to encourage one another,
to explore personal growth, spirituality, creativity, and healthy living. As Denise Roa
says, "We always go back to food for comfort,
yet you have to fix the other parts of your life
to enjoy food. You have to breathe more. You
have to exercise. You have to give thanks:'
She's right and I was thankful for the
opportunity to have three days of comfort,
connection, and healthy food at Rancho La
Puerta. (rancholapuerta.com) •
TRA
T
he French surrealist Andre Breton
once described the art of celebrated
painter (and bisexual) Frida Kahlo
as "a ribbon around a bomb:' The comment
could as easily have been made about her
birthplace: vibrant, volatile and voluptuous
Mexico City.
Comprising 16 boroughs covering nearly
1,500 square kilometers (almost 600 square
miles, el Distrito Federal (el D.E) is crowded
with all the food, drink, music, art, culture,
history and business that it takes to keep its
nearly 9 million inhabitants alive and well.
From the barrio magico of Condesa and Roma
to Centro's concentration of cultural venues, to
the shopping and nightlife of the Zona Rosa
and beyond, in Mexico City, one revelation
follows another. So while Puerto Vallarta may
hold the popular title "Best of Gay-Friendly
Mexico"-and it's great for anyone wanting to
cruise the bay and the boys-lesbians seeking
choice and a challenge will find a more storied
and complex scene in the capital.
WHERETO STAY
Rich in history, with endless boutiques, restaurants, and coffee shops, and featuring some of
the most varied and grand architecture in the
city, Condesa and the adjacent Roma are welcoming and walkable. Situated just where one
neighborhood bleeds into the other, the Red
Tree House is a gay-owned bed and breakfast
in a '30s-era casa said to have housed writers,
painters and artists. Now fully renovated, each
of the rooms and suites comes equipped with
a private bath. (theredtreehouse.com)
Built inside one of el Centro's oldest residences, DOWNTOWN
Mexico is within
easy walking distance of the Z6calo, the
second-largest public plaza in the world
(behind Moscow's Red Square). Renovated
to blend 17th-century Mexican and modern
industrial elements, yet retaining some indigenous characteristics, this 17-room hotel
features a rooftop bar, a pool terrace, and
a garden patio. And, amazingly, there is an
unusually lush option for budget travelers:
DOWNTOWN
Beds is the hotel's 78-bed
hostel. (www.downtownmexico.com)
ularity with the young and well-to-do, have
resulted in a colonia that's rich in choice.
Explore it unaccompanied, or choose a local
tour company like Sabores Mexico.
Its Roma Foodie Walking Tour takes you
to five distinct eateries (and one micro cerveceria), with historical information to boot.
( saboresmexicofoodtours.com) Speaking of
drink, make sure you spend some time in
any of the city's cantinas, mescalerias and
pulquerias. For an all-nighter, hunker down
at Plaza Garibaldi and enjoy the mariachis
with your own bottle of fine tequila. Friday
or Saturday is best.
WHERETO EATAND
DRINK
WHAT TO SEEAND DO
Sidewalk cantinas and street-corner taco
stands offer the epicurious traveler variety,
quality, and adventure in the open air.
Sample tacos al pastor (in the style of the
shepherd) and squash-blossom quesadillas,
freshly squeezed orange and beet juice, sliced
cucumbers dressed in lime and chili, and an
assortment of dukes.
Fresh meat and produce ( and everything
from cell phone batteries to thong panties)
are available at the neighborhood markets.
Ask around for where and when they will
set up near you. For a multicourse meal at a
reasonable price, look for comida corrida set-price lunches prepped the way Mama did
at home.
Recent efforts to preserve Roma's architecture and character, and its emerging pop-
Zona Rosa looms large on the gay visitor's
itinerary, but another village is emerging along
Calle Republica de Cuba in el Centro.
Start at the city's only gay cantina, Grupo
Viena, for a barril of beer with the vaqueros
and, when sated, head east. Between Grupo
Viena, at No. 2, and red-light-dive-turnedcabaret La Perla, at No. 44, look for the rainbow flags.
Go to the danz6n, where a live band plays
for dancers of varied genders and generations.
It's an unreservedly romantic way to while
away a Sunday afternoon.
With a central route and a south route, the
Turibus is a flexible way to see everything from
Chapultepec Park, to the Museum of Anthropology (mna.inah.gob.mx), to Frida Kahlo's
Casa Azul (museofridakahlo.org.mx) in the
former villageof Coyoadn. (turibus.com.mx) •
Gay & Les
V •ISi·t. •• Sweden
www.visitsweden.com
Stockholm
The Capital of
Scandinavia
Im
Scandinavian
Airlines
EDITOR'SINDULGENCE
For a luxe lifestyle experience, make your home base the W Polanco. You'll never want to leave
this city sanctuary, with its sparkling views. Chic urban accents include hammocks in the marble
shower rooms; the hip and luminous nightspot Terrace, which attracts the beautiful people; and
the convenient restaurant Solea, specializing in steak and seafood. And the service at this
exceedingly gay-friendly hotel is simply outstanding.
After exploring the cutting-edge Museo Universitario de Arte Contemporaneo or the haunting
ruins ofTemplo Mayor, lunch at Azul Hist6rico (azulhistorico.com), a downtown establishment
helmed by the renowned chef Ricardo Munoz Zurita, and be sure to tuck into the huevos
motulenos and freshly made lime margaritas-there's no sour mix here! To continue exploring
the culinary delights farther afield, wander the colonial byways and cobblestone streets of the
Bazar del Sabado San Angel, then lunch at Paxia ('peace' in Nahuatl). This multi-award-winning
restaurant serves upscale Mexican fusion food: The Aztec Budin features foie gras and truffies
while the Drunken Duck Enchiladas incorporate local dark beer into a rich, lip-smacking sauce.
But you don't have to stick to Mexican in el D.F. Local chef Elena Reygadas serves refined,
authentic, and seasonal Italian cuisine at Rosetta, in the trendy Design District.
For something really special to top off your trip, dine at Pujol (pujol.com.mx), named one
of the Top 50 Restaurants of the World by Restaurant Magazine. The ant larvae tostada is an
unforgettable foodie experience.-Merryn]ohns
•
76
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
FEATURES /
TRA
Breu,City
Happy hours in Milwaukee,
America's Beer Capital. evAMYDENEsoN
F
ly, drive, or ride your Harley Softail
Slim to Milwaukee, Wisc., for a fun
Great Lakes getaway. And, in the
revitalized downtown, the Iron Horse Hotel
is just the place to stay (theironhorsehotel.
com). A stone's throw from Lake Michigan,
in the heart of the Fifth Ward, the Iron
Horse is proudly LGBT-friendly, boasting
official TAG approval. From the moment
my partner and I arrived, we found that it
lived up to its commitment "to offer all of
our guests the same warm hospitality and
luxurious stay:' For you Dykes on Bikes,
the Iron Horse is the only boutique hotel
in the country that, along with its other
amenities, is geared to accommodate riders, offering covered motorcycle parking
and post-ride massages. Although each
room is unique, the look overall is industrial-chic-spare,
pristine, flounce-freewith the added luxury of lush bedding and
spectacular walk-in showers.
Once you're checked in and refreshed,
head across the street to the Great Lakes
Distillery (greatlakesdistillery.com). For a
look at how small-batch, handcrafted spirits are made, take a one-hour tasting tour of
the distillery. Tours are conducted three or
four times every day and are available on a
first-come, first-served basis ( only parties
of 15 or more can make reservations). Or
you can simply take a tour of the seasonal
cocktail menu at the bar. I recommend the
Mooncusser. Made with the distillery's
Roaring Dan's Rum, named after Dan
Seavey, the only miscreant ever arrested
on the Great Lakes for piracy, the Mooncusser is simple and simply delicious: rum
made with pure Wisconsin maple syrup
and Milwaukee's own Sprecher's cream
soda (sprecherbrewery.com).
The city offers many fine options for
dinner. Right there at the hotel you've got
a winner-the
Smyth, possessing a Wine
Spectator Award of Excellence. However, as
someone who grew up in Brew City, I can't
visit my hometown without feasting on Milwaukee's best burger at Sobelman's Pub &
Grill (milwaukeesbestburgers.com). All the
burgers, ordered as a single or double stack,
pair perfectly with a pint of local Miller
Lite or a Sobelman's Bloody Masterpiece,
served with 13 garnishes-including
a bacon
cheeseburger slider!
After dinner, head over to Walker's Pint
(walkerspint.com). This all-girl bar is ultrawelcoming, with crisp taps and a lively
community. It's where "Happy Hour = Every
Hour!" and the regular patrons prefer to party.
A sign on the jukebox warns: Slow Songs
After 8 p.m. May Be Skipped. No Refunds.
After a few rounds, the mixed dance club
LaCage (lacagemke.com), kitty-corner to
Walker's, is perfect for late-night dancing.
Greet the next day along the Lake Michigan shoreline. The Lakefront Trail, a 5.9-mile
loop, connects Veteran's Park, the McKinley
Marina, and the Milwaukee Art Museum
(mam.org). Santiago Calatrava designed the
museum's breathtaking Quadracci Pavilion
to resemble a bird (with a 217-foot wingspan) taking flight over the water. Before setting off to walk, rent bikes, or fly a kite along
the beach, stop for a coffee at Alterra Coffee
Roasters (alterracoffee.com). Alterra offers
artisanal blends ranging from the ultra-dark
Punch in the Face to a couple of milder HalfCaff brews.
In Milwaukee, the locals will tell you it's
"cooler by the lake:' This is certainly the case
during Summerfest, an annual 11-day beer
and music festival (summerfest.com). My
recommendation is to visit Milwaukee when
the fests and fairs provide months of entertainment, from early spring to late fall-and
not just because the average winter temperature hovers around 20 degrees.
Once you've worked up an appetite, head
over to the blooming neighborhood of Bay
View for brunch at the Honeypie Cafe
(honeypiecafe.com). This delightful farm-totable restaurant is committed to preparing
all meals, "from piecrusts to pickles," from
scratch. Their menu, which changes daily,
consists of locally sourced ingredients;
diners can enjoy everything from the vegan
pastries to "Southern Gentleham" pork
chops. Personally, I savored my Farmer's
Breakfast so much that I couldn't resist
going back for dinner: I recommend the
Chicken Biscuit Pie, with a chocolate
raspberry cupcake for dessert.
Afterward, you're going to need a walk.
Start with a wander through the Milwaukee
Public Market (milwaukeepublicmarket.org)
for samples and souvenirs of local cheeses,
spices, wine, candy and streusel. In the Third
Ward, catch up with the RiverWalk, meandering along the Milwaukee River. As you
pass by, give two thumbs up to the Bronze
Fonz, commemorating the iconic character
in Happy Days. The gritty smokestack skyline seen in this sitcom, as well as in Laverne
and Shirley,still exists; however, the city has
undergone decades of restoration, smoothing its rough edges and creating a more sophisticated place to live and explore.
On historic Brady Street, I met up with
an old friend, who, as luck would have it,
hosts walking tours for the award-winning
Milwaukee Food Tours (milwaukeefoodtours.
com), and I was treated to a guided tour of
Milwaukee's food, culture and history. Nine
blocks long, from Lake Michigan to the
Milwaukee River, the Brady Street neighborhood was settled by Polish and Italian
immigrants (bradystreet.org). Their influence is reflected in the stacked duplex homes
known as "Polish flats;' and the authentic
Italian eateries. We headed straight for Zaffiro's Pizza (zaffirospizza.com). Since 1954,
Zaffiro has been serving Milwaukee-style
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
77
pizza, with cracker-thin twice-baked crust, smothered in a family-recipe tomato sauce and
covered with cheese that is hand-shaved-not
grated-with
care."With a Schlitz;' my friend
insisted," the beer that made Milwaukee famous!"
Milwaukee is sometimes called Cream City, which I learned wasn't a nod to the frothy
beer made by the city's original brewers-Schlitz,
Pabst, Miller, Blatz and 150 others-but
a
reference to the city's light, cream-colored bricks, made of clay dredged from the local rivers.
Standing outside Sciortino's Italian bakery, I was torn between what to admire more, the
brickwork or the lofting scent of freshly baked rolls and cannoli (petersciortinosbakery.com).
Today, the Miller Brewing Company has outpaced the rest of the city's commercial brewers. Miller Stadium, home to baseball's Milwaukee Brewers, is a fantastic place to pass a
heartland afternoon (milwaukee.brewers.mlb.com). Tailgating along with the native Sconnies
is one way to kick off the game, or taking a cab (as I did) directly to the front gate is another.
I caught a game with some friends, including one now known as Pinky the Glitterator of the
Maiden Milwaukee roller derby team (brewcitybruisers.com). According to Pinky, any inning
is the right inning to order a local Leinenkugel's brew and a bratwurst-as
long as you don't
forget the Secret Stadium Sauce.
The next morning, I visited Blue's Egg Restaurant, taking the owners up on their invitation to embrace the tradition of a relaxed meal (bluesegg.com). It was worth the 45-minute
wait! The "very stuffed browns" were a delicious upgrade to my aged Wisconsin cheddar and
spinach omelet, with side of house-made chicken chorizo. If possible, save room for dessert.
While you're out in the suburbs, it's worth engaging in the great Kopps vs. Oscars frozen
custard debate (kopps.com, oscarscustard.com), or you can head back to the lakeshore for a
waffle cone from the newcomer NorthPoint Custard (northpointcustard.com) and assess for
yourself if all things in Milwaukee are indeed "cooler by the lake:'
Motorcycle enthusiasts must make time to visit the Harley-Davidson Museum (harleydavidson.com), across the bridge from the Iron Horse Hotel. Take in the 110-year history of
this true red-white-and-blue American brand invented by Milwaukee residents William S.
Harley and Arthur Davidson. Whether you're a joyrider or serious biker, experience the roaring
rev in the Engine Room, marvel at the Design Lab, and mount up on a few display "hogs:'
Outside, the museum offers a quick complimentary riding lesson on a stationary motorcycle.
End your last night in town with a toast to the oldest continually operating gay bar in
Wisconsin: This Is It (thisisitbar.com). Opened by June Brehm in 1968, and still voted the
city's No. 1 Gay and Lesbian bar, This Is It hosts a colorful scene as inviting and evolving as
Milwaukee itself. (visitmilwaukee.org) •
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by DAMRON
NOVEMBER
2013
CURVE
79
T LOOK/
STARS
An Attitude of Gratitude
Give thanks for all of the planetary oomph that November brings.
By Charlene Lichtenstein
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Charlene
Lichtenstein
istheauthor%
of HerScopes:
A Guide
to Astrology%
forLesbians
(Simon
& Schuster)-%
%
tinyurl.
com/HerScopes.
%
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Your social circle expands
to a globe. Not only are you
elected Ms. Popularity, you
are also the leader of the Pride
parade. You are especially
charming and know just what
to say to get exactly what-and
who-you want. Use it to your
advantage by getting involved
in a range of new groups and
organizations.
(Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
Lesbian Scorps mean
what they say and
say what they mean,
but only if you listen
very carefully. She is
the proverbial iron fist
wrapped in a velvet
glove (And some
of us find it rather
exciting that way) She
is very self-possessed
and controlled in her
speech and can easily
manipulate lesser
minds to get anything
or anyone she wants.
While Gemini babes
are flirtatious, Scorpio
gals are persuasive, so
be warned Once she
sets her sights on you,
you have no chance
to escape One
minute, you'll be hip
to hip at the bar and
the next minute hip to
elbow at her place
Nowavailable
asanebook.~
80
CURVE
NOVEMBER
2013
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Make your mark on the world
this November whether by
strong action or compelling
oratory. You will find ways to
get your name out there and
charm those who can help you
get ahead. But are there things
going on behind the scenes
that could trip you up? Are you
focusing your attention on all
possible outcomes? Smile for
the ladies but check your teeth
for spinach.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
Your world opens up like an
oyster this November with
romantic possibilities from
across the world. Admirers
flock to you. You can almost
stay home and wait for the
delicious delivery. But the real
secret to your success is to
open up your shell and venture
forth into the unknown. Put
yourself out there or just be
out yourself.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
You may misunderstand the
politics around your office
but thankfully this won't get
you into too much trouble. In
fact, you will be very much in
demand. Everyone wants a
piece of you, Aqueerius. It will
be your mission to decide who
and what size portion. Will you
be a light snack to some and a
three-course meal to others?
Just as long as you remember
the just desserts.
business contacts by rubbing
shoulders with powerbrokers.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
Although it is tempting to
scream your pent up opinions
into cyberspace, try to avoid
doing so this month. You will
be much more effective and
successful if you keep your
cards close to the vest and
trust only close bosom buddies
and lovergrrls. Guppies with an
axe to grind are better off using
their sharpened tongue on
political causes.
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
Aries (March 21-April 20)
November brings success
at work but unintended
complications in any romantic
or sexual relationship. They say
that love means never having
to say you are sorry, lambda
Ram. But sometimes it is nice
to own up to a mistake or a
miscommunication. Throw
yourself at her mercy. Who
knows what might come next
in the throes of forgiveness?
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
Nothing ever prepares you for
the whoosh of creative energy
that this month will deliver.
Clear your calendar, Taurus, and
explore every exotic nook and
cranny for your inspiration. Who
knows what or who you will get
into as you mine for treasures.
Just be sure that partners are
aware of your antics. Lies will
get you nowhere.
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
Work may have its challenges
this November but not because
you are not working hard
enough-you are. It's just that
the decision-makers don't
see what you do. You need to
tailor your message so you get
credit for all the equity your
sweat produces. Build up your
Relationships will be your
refuge. If you have one,
celebrate it. If you don't have
one, go out and get one. You
will have your pick of the crop,
especially if you know how to
plant the seeds. Cancers can
say what they mean and mean
what they say, which can be
pretty charismatic and sexy.
Use it all to your advantage this
November.
Leo (July24-Aug. 23)
Avoid any complicated domestic
project if you can do so. Not only
are there miscommunications at
home, your costs for any
non-essential endeavor could
spiral out of control as your
desires run amok. Try to keep a
level head Lioness and spend
within your means.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
Everything is rosy this
November. Not only do you
have loads of charisma, you
also have ample energy to get
your projects up and running.
Let your creativity carry you
to new successes with the
potential for life altering
benefits. Your muses provide
the inspiration and enable you
to think out of the box.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
There is a lot going on behind
the scenes as hidden enemies
and secret admirers all want to
get into position to take action.
You are a lucky lady, Libra. The
forces of good will eventually
triumph. The scales fall from
your eyes. You may modify
your value system once the
dust has settled. Keep an open
mind and let the good gay
karma flow.
get you rs today.
curvemag.com
Want to see your pet here? We'd love to meet them, too.
Visit curvemag.com/satisfied for details.
■
ADVISORS
"
w1
He's ll ever wanted.
Let's make sure he has it a l.
You're all he has, so when the conversation turns to his future, turn to
Wells Fargo Advisors. Financial Advisors with the ADPA SM designation can
help you with everything from saving for college to legacy and estate planning
strategies, and we understand the special issues domestic partners face. That
means we can help you take care of him no matter what the future holds.
Visit wellsfargoadvisors.com/adpa to fmd the Financial Advisor nearest you.
Together we'll go far
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Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisor'M and ADPA'Mare
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