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Description
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ToC Peacebomb! By Melanie Barker (p35); Special Section: Out Profiles by Merryn Johns, Melanie Barker & Dana Piccoli (p41); A Geographic Cure by Zoe H. Armstrong (p51); An Image is Worth…by Melanie Barker (p55); Cover: The Power of Linda Perry (p58); The Rise of Uh Huh Her by Janelle Sorenson & Melany Joy Beck (p64); Under a Portuguese Sun by Fletcher DeLancey (p67). Cover Photo by Kristin Burns
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issue
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7
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Date Issued
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October 2014
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol24_No7_October-2014_OCR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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®
WOMAN
POWER
PALOMA
FAITH
ILENE
CHAIKEN
MARGA
GOMEZ
LEISHA
HAILEY
&CAMILA
GREY
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OCTOBER 2014 VOLUME 24#7
~BEST
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PLACES TO WORK
2014
for LGBT Equality
OCTOBER
2014
FEATURES
.-,"
t.Jt.Jlll'
PEACEBOMB!
Global ethics meet chic
fashion accessories with this
anti-war jewelry.
By Melanie Barker
~,1
SPECIAL SECTION:
OUT PROFILES
Meet the amazing out
entrepreneurs who are
changing queer culture with
their activism and aesthetics.
By Merryn Johns, Melanie
Barker & Dana Piccoli
51
A GEOGRAPHIC CURE
Can one lesbian change the
fate of women abroad? Read
this personal story about pride
in the Peace Corps ..
By Zoe H. Armstrong
53
AN IMAGE IS WORTH ...
What happens when two
lesbian photographers fall
in love with each other and
image making. By Melanie
Barker
6~1
THE RISE OF UH HUH HER
Leisha Hailey and Camila
Grey continue to electrify
us. By Janelle Sorenson
& Melany Joy Beck
67
UNDER A
PORTUGUESE SUN
How one American woman
found love online and then
in real life, in Portugal. By
Fletcher DeLancey
:i:
>
COVER
PHOTO
BY KRISTIN
BURNS
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
1
OCTOBER
2014
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
IN EVERYISSUE
4
EDITOR'S NOTE
6
CURVETTES
8
FEEDBACK
10
THE GAYDAR
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
TRENDS
REVIEWS
9
BEAUTY
Our pick of no-fuss, no-muss
beauty products for butch,
genderqueer and andro girls.
26 MUSIC
Paloma Faith makes music you
can move to, but there is a
whole lot more to this womanloving woman than meets the
eye. Plus, the latest offering
from Banks. By Marcie Bianco
11 LES LOOKS LIKE
Meet the dedicated lesbian
behind Camp Sarlight.
14 LESBOFILE
Our favorite celesbians
behaving very badly.
VIEWS
14 OUT IN FRONT
Meet our community leaders.
14 IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT ... LGBT news from across
the country. By Sassafras
Lowrey
16 POLITICS
Are we abusing each other
and not holding one another
accountable? By Victoria A.
Brown worth
18 THE TWO OF US
Our monthly profile of captivating lesbian couples who
live, love and work together.
20
LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
22 SCENE
You had to be there! Our
reviews of the best LGBT
events and girls' nights
around the country.
2
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
& Kelly McCartney
28 FILM
Lesbian web series wiz Danielle
Earle has a feature film out
now called Lover's Game. Plus
our reviews of two must-see
lesbian films. By Lisa Tedesco &
Lauren Shiro
32 BOOKS
The UK's cultural 'diva' Joanna
Benecke's new book, plus an
excellent and countrywide
multimedia and print project
for America's queer youth.
By Dana Piccoli & Francesca
Lewis
■
■
I
■
Limitedspace remains on these incredible,
fun-filledlesbian vacations.
Call today to reserve your cabin!
THANKSGIVING CARIBBEAN CRUISE
November23-30, 2014
Oliviais honoredtoannounce Bonnie Raitt!
Performingon boardNovember 23rd
CABINS
FROM
$999PP!
AUSTRALIA & NEW ZEALAND
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February13-24,2015
Olivia Newton-John kicksoff our 25th
Anniversarywitha concerton boardFebruary13!
RONT!MERRYN'S
MEMO
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
OCTOBER
t seems that more celebrity lesbians have come out in the past year or so than at
any other time in recent memory.
Michelle Rodriguez, who was prickly on the topic for years, finally came out
as bisexual last September in an interview with Entertainment Weekly in which
she said, "I do as I please:'
Maria Bello came out in December last year in an op-ed piece she wrote for the New
York Times in which she described falling in love with her best friend and how her
"modern family" embraced her sexuality.
Good Morning America news anchor Robin Roberts also came out in December after
surviving cancer with the support of her long-term partner.
At the Golden Globes lastJanuary,Jodie Foster (kind of) came out while accepting
the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime
achievement in film, as her industry peers,
her ex, her sons, the media, and much of the
world watched.
Ellen Page came out in February while
giving a speech at the Human Rights
Campaign's Time to THRIVE conference,
announcing her intention to "help others
have an easier and more hopeful time:'
The act of coming out is a powerful one,
claiming autonomy and control over your
life-the way you live it and the way others
see it. All of these women decided to take
control of the narrative.
It can be a little different for ordinary
people, and for women of color. When
Charice, who played Sunshine Corazon
on the hit television series Glee, came out
in her native Philippines last summer, she
became estranged from her family.
When Emily Rios, a series regular on FX's The Bridge, came out to her Mexican family,
her mom was hardly thrilled. "Your coming out ... I don't want this to be this. I want
you to be comfortable;' she said, alluding to her belief that being gay was not part of her
immigrant American Dream.
Former Miss Kentucky Djuan Trent became the first-ever Miss America contestant
to come out, blogging in February that she was queer. She told TMZ that while the folks
back home took the news fine, some objected to the label "queer:'
We asked you on Facebook if you were out, and whether you would be out if you were
famous. Most of you answered yes, believing that high-profile lesbians have a duty to
come out. Some of you had been out for as long as 45 years. Others were still struggling,
fearing persecution from family or employers. There is never a perfect time to come out,
but if celebrities can teach us anything, it's that-like many of the women profiled in our
Out issue-you should do it on your own terms and when you have the power. That act
makes us all less afraid and stronger.
I
!z
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
CURVE
OCTOBER
»
VOLUME
MAGAZINE
24 NUMBER
2014
7
PUBLISHERSilke Bader
FOUNDINGPUBLISHER Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
EDITORIN CHIEF Merryn Johns
COPY EDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Jillian Eugenics,
Sheryl Kay, Stephanie Schroeder, Dave Steinfeld
EDITORIAL
ASSISTANTS
Caitlyn Byrne, Lisa Tedesco
PROOFREADERElizabeth Harper
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONSJeannie Sotheran
EVENTS& MEDIA RELATIONSCOORDINATORRobin Perron
ADVERTISING
NATIONALSALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ART DIRECTORSMeghan Musalo, Ricardo Calvi Vivian
PRODUCTIONARTIST Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Marcie Bianco, Jenny Block,
Adam L. Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo,
Elizabeth Estochen, Jill Goldstein, Kristin Flickinger,
Adrienne Jordan, Gillian Kendall, Kim Hoffman, Francesca
Lewis, Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras
Lowrey, Kelly McCartney, Emelina Minero, Laurie K.
Schenden, Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson,
Rosanna Rios-Spicer, Allison Steinberg, Stella & Lucy,
Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce,
Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Alex Styles, Meagan Cignoli,
Sophia Hantzes, Janet Mayer, Syd London, Cheryl Mazak,
Maggie Parker, Robin Roemer, Leslie Van Stelten
CONTACT INFO
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LETTERSTO THE EDITOREMAIL letters@curvemagazine.com
Volume 24 Issue 7 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published 8 times
per year (January/Febrary, March, April/May, June, July/August,
September, October, November/December) by Avalon Media,
LLC, PO Box 467, New York NY 10034. Subscription price:
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international (U.S. funds only). Returned checks will be assessed
a $25 surcharge. Periodicals postage paid at San Francisco, CA
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whole or in part, without written permission from the publisher.
Publication of the name or photograph of any persons or
organizations appearing, advertising or listing in Curve may not be
taken as an indication of the sexual orientation of that individual or
group unless specifically stated. Curve welcomes letters, queries,
unsolicited manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE for response.
Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials.
Submissions cannot be returned unless a self-addressed stamped
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Subscription Inquiries: Please write to Curve, Avalon Media LLC.,
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curvemag.com
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4
2014
LESBIAN
Curve's online selection of must-know, must-try, must-read extras.
LIFESTYLE
WEDDING
REVIEW
BOOKS
COUPLE TAKESOVER ENTIRE
WHISKEY BLUE'SSIZZLING
PTOWN INN FOR WEDDING
BROOKLYNLOVE
"When we decided to get
Very good erotica is not just dirty
married," says Deb Leef
words but more like spicy food
concerning her recent nuptials
- you really like it, can take it or
with her partner of 23 years,
leave it or not like it at all. In saying
Arlene Kluizenaar, "Provincetown
that, Brooklyn Love by debutante
was an easy decision. We started
author Whiskey Blue is a very
investigating venues. Sage
good and very spicy book that
is one of the largest bed and
has three different lesbian literary
breakfasts in Provincetown with
erotica stories. Read more on
an event room large enough
G curvemag.com
to accommodate a smaller
wedding." The inn is loaded with
history, too, as Provincetown's first
hotel, the Pilgrim House in the late
1700s, visited by celebrities such
NEWS
as Henry David Thoreau. More on
LATEST
NEWS G curvemag.com
WNBA STAR BRITTNEY GRINER
PROPOSES TO GIRLFRIEND
basketball star is officially off the
CURVE
BLOGGERS
READERS
VOICE
market. Griner got down on one
WHAT IS A "LIPSTICK BUTCH"?
The out lesbian icon and
knee on August 15 to pop the
"I came across a term the other day that finally felt right-'Lipstick
question to her girlfriend Glory
A queer woman, who is 'feminine' in appearance and 'masculine' in
Butch.'
Johnson, who said yes. Of course,
personality. At last, a label that doesn't peel off, no matter where I stick it.
who wouldn't? Griner posted on
A similar coinage is 'Tomboy Femme,' though 'Femme' usually connotes
lnstagram that the happy couple
a feminine woman who prefers the beauty of butch whereas 'Lipstick'
were in it "for Life." Read more on
typically implies a feminine woman attracted to feminine women ..." Read
G curvemag.com
more on
G curvemag.com
LIFESTYLE
HEALTH
,,
~
~
than Jillian Michaels, who is touring Australia with her critically acclaimed
motivational live tour, Maximise Your Life. Read more on
~
~
~
~
FIERCE,FIT AND PROUD,JILLIAN MICHAELS HEADS DOWN UNDER
When you think of health, fitness and inspirational living, look no further
G curvemag.com
FOLLOWUS
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We have some of
the leading voices
in our community sharing their
thoughts on love
and romance,
parenting and
politics, and sex
and spiritualitynot to mention our
huge collection of
lesbian fandom.
SEPTEMBER
2014
CURVE
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5
UPRONT!CURVETTES
MICIA MOSELY
DANA PICCOLI
KELLYMCCARTNEY
FLETCHERDELANCEY
Micia Mosely was hailed as
"smart, timely and also downright hilarious" by website
newyorktheatre.com. Since
earning her Ph.D. in education
from U.C. Berkeley, Mosely has
shared her comedic performance in cities all over the
United States. Her one-woman
show Where My Girls At? was
nominated for the 2009 New
York Innovative Theater Award
for best solo performance. In
2014 Mosely participated in San
Francisco's National Queer Arts
Festival as host and mentor to
"Brouhaha," a night of QTPOC
activist comedy. Mosely and
Marga Gomez, who she interviews on page 24 of this issue,
have also performed stand-up
together at the sold-out Brava
Theater in San Francisco. Learn
more about Micia Mosely at
miciamosely.com.
Dana Piccoli is a writer and
reporter for AfterEllen, and
has contributed to other fine
sites including GayGamer and
PopWrapped. She is the creator
and host of the LadyTv podcast,
which focuses on female
characters of the fall television
season. She is also an accomplished performer and musician
who is at home in both the
cabaret and rock scenes.
Piccoli is one half of the musical
comedy duo, The Suspicious
Packages. As the Fandom
Balladeer, she writes funny and
sometimes touching songs
about characters from popular
television shows like Pretty Little
Liars and Glee. Piccoli lives in
New York with her lovely wife.
You can follow her on Twitter@
danapiccoli.
Armed with an Entertainment
Tonight internship and a BA in
journalism, Kelly McCartney
started her career as a personal
assistant to celebrity types like
Susanna Hoffs, Adam Horowitz,
Sally Hershberger, and Isabelle
Adjani. From that springboard
she worked with a cool band
(Sun 60) and hosted hipster
musicians (Mazzy Star, Dada,
Beastie Boys) at exclusive
Hollywood club nights. Across
all the years that followed, she
has worked in pretty much every area of the music business
and, eventually, combined
her original goal of being a
writer with her deep passion
for music to become a music
journalist. McCartney currently
contributes to Shareable, No
Depression, GOOD, PopMatters,
Elmore, and Curve. Twitter: @
theKELword.
Fletcher Delancey is an
Oregon expatriate who moved
to Portugal to marry the wornan she loves. She now lives in
the beautiful Algarve, where
she writes science fiction and
romance, edits novels and
short stories, and continues
her pursuit of trying every
regional Portuguese dish she
can get her hands on. (There
are many. It's going to take a
while.) Her romantic novella
Mac vs. PC was published by
Ylva Publishing earlier this year,
and her science fiction novel
The Caphenon (the first in the
Chronicles of A/sea) is coming
out in spring 2015, followed
later that year by Without A
Front. You can read her blog
at Oregon Expat, follow her on
Facebook, or visit her website
at Red Moon.
6 CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
POST
ON
FACEBOOK!
FASHION FORWARD
Thank you for the excellent
"style" issue of Curve. I am a
young queer artist studying
design in New York City. One
day I want to be the lesbian
Tim Gunn, so I find it encouraging that Curve runs fashion
editorial on a regular basis.
Maybe you could interview
up-and-coming queer fashion
designers like myself who want
to take over the industry! Beck Streicher, Brooklyn N.Y.
STIGMA OF DOING TIME
I am currently incarcerated
at a mental hospital because
I have committed a crime of
assault. Not against a lover but
a neighbor because I was off
of my meds; my ex-gf had told
The
best
comment
posted
each
month
could
winyou
afree
digital
subscription!
me that I didn't have a mental
illness, that I was so smart and
normal, so why or how could
I have a mental illness:' I was
in denial of my mental illness
also .... I am well aware that
this will have consequences
on my future love life. I want
to know if you can discuss the
ramifications of and the stigma that comes with having a
criminal record and/ or mental
health issues in lesbian dating
and how one can overcome
this stigma. So many fellow
GLBT members are either
suffering from a mental illness
or have been incarcerated. I
think watching Orange Is the
New Black is one thing but addressing these different issues
is another. -Name supplied.
Editor's Note: We are planning editorial on mental health
and incarcerated women.
DUSTY FOREVER
Dear Curve, When I received
the July/ August Music
issue, as I thought of lesbian
musicians, Dusty Springfield
came to mind and I was happy
to read about Heather Peace's
acknowledgement of Dusty.
■;;~Bri~i:~~~i~·-·:
::::::
:···:::
,:,::
Posts from our Facebook fans
---- -------·:·:: :· :: ·:::: facebook.com/curvemag
We love it when Tabatha takes charge!
Love Tabatha! -La Cooper
She rocks! -Karin Smith
Williams
I am a professional
hairstylist and I LOVE
Tabatha! She doesn't take
any shit or any excuses and
I love her for it! One of my
idols. -Stacy Whitter
Is she gay?-Claudia
Martinez Alatriste
She is awesome!!!! A definite
role model in the hair world!!!
I've learned a lot from her!!!
- Jen Steffens
Loved the entire issue as
always. I read it cover to
cover multiple times and
I really love Curve at the
touch of my fingers on my
phone now. it's just great Rena Emery
Yes. She is. - Jan Sangster
Gonna order from Amazon
Kindle right now! -Kay
Nilkamheang
Love Tabatha. She tells it
straight up and takes no shit.
-Katrina Symmans
I think she's hot. -Ginger
Miller
She is an icon and one we as
a culture don't want to forget.
She had without a doubt the
most beautiful voice in pop
music to this day. Her voice
was like silk, at once powerful,
husky, emotional, and sensual.
She pulled at one's heartstrings. Unfortunately, she
was famous at a time when
it was very difficult to be out
and became addicted to drugs
and alcohol. She eventually
attained sobriety, but we
lost her to cancer at 59. Her
singing career spanned four
decades. To any younger lesbians who are unfamiliar with
her, I encourage you to listen
and fall in love. Her spirit is
still strongly with us. -Diane
Schuette, Silver Lake NH.
.··:1·1
::;o~:::.:.:~::.:::ast
the
point where public figures coming
I=I:
: , :::: :. _ ::: ::: ::: _ :·::II
l~~:i~~;;~i~i.~ii:::::::·;·
CORRECTION:In V.24#4 of Curve, In Case You Missed It (p.16) stated
that lesbian golf coach Katy Brenny won her lawsuit against the
University of Michigan. It was the University of Minnesota.
WRITE
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8
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OCTOBER
Online:
2014
Subscriber Services are now available at
curvemag.com/customerservice.
✓ subscribe
✓ pay your bill
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TRENDS/
BEAU
Andro On the Go!
DO BUTCHGIRLSNEEOBEAUTYPRODUCTS?YOU
BETCHA!HERE'SOUR SELECTIONOF NO FUSS,NO
MUSS BALMS AND SUCH. BY MELANIE BARKER
sm o o t h
~eel My Hai~
Pocket Pal
a leave-inconditioner
& straightening
balm
Introducing your other
pocket-sized batteryoperated friend. The
VioLife Slim Sonic
toothbrush looks like
a mascara wand but
isn't. With 22,000
brushstrokes per minute
and a choice of hip
patterns and colors, this
portable oral care item
is effective, compact
and looks great! ($15,
violight.com)
angela
cosmai
color protective
20oz/
8
MoisTuRiziNGSkiN CREAM
haircare
59ml
~It•.Smooth
A=t=-.1r:>•J-l.J
Yu He Fine
This ultra-healing, glycerin-based moisturizing
cream from Japan is enriched with camphor,
Vitamin E and Vitamin B2, which is also
responsible for its color. Where's the chap stick?
Yu-Be has one, but this works, too-it's a total
treatment for dry skin on the face, body, hands,
feet, and yes-even on the lips! The perfect
solution for skin exposed to the drying effects
of water, wind and cold. ($16, yu-be.com)
A styled-up butch can make you just
want to run your fingers through their
hair. While they can take as much care
with their 'dos as femmes, simplicity is
key. For an effortless tactile look, check
out Angela Cosma i's Feel My Hair! The
Smoothing Shampoo and Conditioner,
Smoothing Spray Detangler, French
Argan Oil, Smooth Leave In Conditioner
and Vanilla Bean Treatments are
suited to color clients, and even those
who have never tinted their hair.
Made with natural botanicals, these
products are mild enough for everyday
use and produced cruelty-free. ($8,
angelacosmai.com/feelmyhair)
I Iold the Omcealet•
TREAT&
CONCEAL
er
Concealer-like lipstick-makes most andro girls
feel like drag queens, and not in a good way! But
this tiny tube corrects redness, covers blemishes,
smoothes out pigmentation and protects and
hydrates the face. Miracle Skin Transformer
Treat & Conceal combines marine collagen,
minerals and white rose and chamomile extracts,
and is free of parabens, harsh chemicals and
synthetic fragrances. ($34, skinstore.com)
MIRACLE CONCEALER
WITHTRUTMENTBENEFITS
,WCC0(SAVA~TAG(SMl0IOUll
Lube.Job
Oberlube is for all parts of your body: skin,
hair, even down there. This premium silicone
lubricant will not harm healthy bacteria, affect
pH levels, and is used by OG-GYNs. Best of all,
sporty dykes, it can be used to moisturize and
protect hair while swimming in chlorinated
water, and as a barrier lotion to prevent skin
from chafing during intense workouts and
active sports. ($18, uberlube.com)
refillable case and 1 insert of 15 ml
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
9
THE GAYDAR
NDS/
p
~ THEGAVDAR
~
~
~
~
Takes one to know one? L~t our gayd~r help
you decide who's hot, ~ho~ ~ot, whos
shaking it and who's faking 1t1nlesboland.
BY MELANIE BARKER
~
National Review Online
editor-at-large Kathryn
Jean Lopez praises "exgay" therapy for lesbians
and gays living in a "fallen
world." We wish the right
wing would fall off this flat
earth
As if we couldn't love her
more than we do, actor
Susan Sarandon joins
HRC's video campaign for
marriage equality saying,
"You damn well ought to be
able to have it!"
Orphan Black badass Tatiana
Maslany tears up and is left
speechless when a lesbian
credits Maslany and her openly
lesbian character Cosima
for helping her come out of
the closet and rebuild her
relationship with her mom
7
I
®
Right wing
douche and
radio host Rick
Wiles asserts
that the Ebola
virus is God's
pandemic
to produce
an "attitude
adjustment"
and destroy
homosexuals
TARGE~
VH1 Save
the Music
Foundation gives
multi-platinum
music whiz and
philanthropist
Linda Perry
2014 Honors just
in time for the
launch of Make or
Break: The Linda
Perry Project
CURVE
Or should we
say straight
for pay. Sarah
Paulson in
American Horror
Story: Freak
Show laments
having sex with
her onscreen
husband while
surrounded
by snakes. We
agree:husbands
-ewww
Notoriously
heterosexual
Cosmopolitan
magazine publishes
its polarizing and
cartoonish lesbian sex
positions. Lesbians
and bi women agree
it's a fail for this queer
Kama Sutra
Brittney Griner
proposes to
her girlfriend
Glory Johnson,
announcing on
lnstagram they
"are in it for
Life"
What's better than an
actor playing a lesbian
on FX's series The
Bridge? When said actor
comes out as lesbian
in real life! Welcome,
Emily Rios
10
Target announces its
support for same-sex
marriage in a federal
appeals court case
and receives a perfect
score on HRC's 2014
Corporate Equality
Index
OCTOBER
2014
Fans of Xena:
Warrior Princess
star Lucy Lawless
are delighted
to hear that the
Amazonian eye
candy joins ABC's
Agents of SHIELD
for season two
Kristen Stewart
dons drag and goofs
around for her friend
Jenny Lewis's video
"Just One of the
Guys," and she loves
it just as much as
wedo ...
NDS!GOSSIP
Jane Lynch
Lady Gaga
p
~ LESBOFILE
~
Did Cameron and Drew do it, does Hillary bat for
~ our team, and which TV star wrote a kids' book
~ with her ex? BY JOCELYN voo
-
We could list a pageful of female celeb-
roundtable about a new book (albeit
rities who have espoused the wonders of
one detailing the alleged secret lives of
female flesh. So when A-lister Cameron
presidents), the panel fixated on the spec-
Diaz affirmatively answered that she'd
ulation that former commander-in-chief
"swam in the lady pond" on Andy Cohen's
Bill Clinton, though still married to former
Watch What Happens Live TV show, it's not
Secretary of State Hillary, currently has a
really gossipy news, per se.
mistress.
sake, and Jane Lynch may be taking a page
Rather than talk about the well-known
from her mouthy Glee character in her new
sion suddenly got a lot more interesting
fact that, yeah, Bill has a historical inability
anti-bullying book Marlene, Marlene, Queen
when mainstream press reacted to it. The
to resist side dishes even when his plate is
of Mean. The kicker? Lynch co-wrote it with
Sex Tape actor tells Harper's Bazaar how a
full, McCarthy takes the opportunity to turn
former wife Lara Embry. Looks like it pays
media outlet called to confirm whether her
the table.
to be nice to your exes.
However, her little two-second admis-
co-pond swimmer was close friend and oft
"Well, maybe he has his girlfriends and
she has her girlfriends. You never know,"
co-star Drew Barrymore.
Though not at all bothered by the fact
McCarthy said, implying that Hillary not
Gaga Gives Voice
With lyrics like "Don't be a drag, just be a
only may have another romantic flame
queen," Lady Gaga has always been one to
even pay attention. People will always
in her life, but that, in fact, that flame
support us queers with her songs. But at a
speculate"), Diaz's reaction is classic:
could be a woman. "Maybe they have an
recent Vancouver show during her ArtRave
"That's like saying I'm having sex with my
arrangement."
tour, the mega star shined a spotlight on
that the press was commenting ("I don't
sister," she told the magazine. "Are you
Hey, since the anti-vaccine media
attention has worn off-sure,
in a dig at the potential 2016 Democratic
and you made coming out so much easier,"
McCarthy's Misfire
candidate? Brass balls, this one has. You
Gaga read aloud from a lesbian-written fan
One thing's for sure: whether in refer-
why not slide
another person's powerful words: "You
crazy? I wouldn't even menage with her!"
almost can't help but marvel at her.
her position on being anti-vaccine, Jenny
letter. "I never would've done it if it wasn't
for you. I also wanted to thank you for al-
ence to her Playboy modeling years, or
McCarthy is not afraid to let it all hang out.
truly helped me become a better person
Authorial Outings
Straight people, hide your children!
ways teaching me to be myself. I now know
who the fuck I am."
Gaga may be a six-time Grammy winner,
So why not add one more claim to fame
Looks like a few out ladies are getting into
while she's finishing up her contract as a
the children's writing game. Folk-rock sing-
talking head on The View?
er Brandi Carlile has transformed her song
merely a mouthpiece for our collective
"Caroline" into a book of the same name-
voice. Thank you, Mother Monster.
In what should conceivably be a routine
12
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
but as she shows time and again, she's
TRENDS/
(/)
0
:;:
~
~
...J
~
...J
::,
~<i
:;:
<i
"I have a side mullet.
I look like most of Portland's
men .... This look, this is on purpose
to attract women. So if you're a guy
out there and you're like, 'I'm not sure if
I'm into that,' to you I say: Sir, there is no
chance that you are less into me than I
am into you." -Standup comic Cameron
Esposito responds to the guy who
told her she looks like a woman
who doesn't sleep with men
SHEs
st PROFILE
IN CASE
YOU
MISSED
IT ...
Kathy Levinson
•I .
I ~:~g~~~f~ '.!~ ~ :!~i~ ~1~ ~ ~ ~ ~
School in Mississippi. Hatcher, an out lesbian, was
punished by the school in 2012 for participating in the
annual Day of Silence, an anti-bullying observance on
behalf of LGBT students. A federal judge has granted
Lambda Legal's motion to dismiss the case following
the school board's decision to institute new policies
that include sexual orientation and gender identity
in its anti-harassment code, and has implemented
a new freedom of speech policy that is in line with
the First Amendment. The school has also removed
all references to the disciplinary action taken against
Hatcher on the Day of Silence in 2012.
California
» CivilRights
More than 20 years ago, a young Kathy Levinson
was already battling for LGBT civil rights, moving
the cause forward. Levinson and her then partner
wound up working in the same department at the San
Francisco-based discount broker Charles Schwab.
Called into Human Resources, she was told the
relationship could no longer go on, and was referred
to the section in the company handbook that said
married couples could not work together. When she
noted that she and her partner were not married, the
personnel director asked her if she understood the
MAGOO
HARO,
AMOTHER
IN
intent of the rule.
"I said that I absolutely did and asked him to turn
to the section of the manual that talked about health
insurance benefits," recalls Levinson. "I said that if the
intent of the earlier policy was to treat all couples like
married couples, then it would only make sense if the
non-married partner of a Schwab employee could be
on their partner's health insurance."
As a result, Schwab became one of the very
first companies to offer Domestic Partners' Health
Insurance, back in the late 1980s.
After Levinson had served for several years as president and COO of E*TRADE,a news story about her
large financial donation to fight California Proposition
22, and the ensuing fracas, left her wondering about
the "shadow career" she seemed to be pursuing as
she labored behind the scenes to make workplaces
more welcoming for minorities. Levinson stepped
down from E*TRADEand today is actively involved in
the grant-making work of the Lesbian Equity Fund,
whose mission is to encourage full participation,
equal rights, and leadership opportunities for LGBT
individuals by supporting initiatives that lead the way
to social change. She is also a member of President
Obama's LGBT National Finance Committee, working to engage and enlist the support of the LGBT
community. As Levinson sees it, "If we can each see
ourselves as teachers for those around us, helping
them to understand who we are, our struggles, our
challenges, we can go a long way to changing the
hearts and minds of the public." By Sheryl Kay
14
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
•
■
New Mexico, has been arrested for
physically and sexually assaulting
her 17-year-olddaughter after she
learned that her daughter was
gay Haro attacked her daughter,
forcing her to undress to "show her
she Is a woman, and not a man"
Haro then threatened to sexually
violate her with a toilet plunger to
show her what It was like to be with
a woman Haro's daughter says her
mother demanded that she attend
she was d1scrim1natedagainst as
a lesbian
SWEET
CAKES
BYMELISSA,
the bakery In Gresham, Ore., that
made the news last year after
refusing to bake a cake for a
lesbian wedding, has now publicly
advertised that It creates cakes for
the Restored Hope Network, an
"ex-gay ministry" Sweet Cakes by
Melissa posted "What a wonderful
m1n1stryl"on its Facebook page
Sweet Cakes by Melissa Is now
operated out of the owners' home,
after the Oregon Bureau of Labor
and Industries found "substantial
evidence" that the bakery had
d1scr1m1natedagainst LGBTclients,
which isn't permitted under state
law
!~~i!::~~~~:
I
••
•••
1
attendingthe WlldWater
•••••
■
•
•
■
■
~;~::,~;;:~~~~;:::i:~hheed
had to either wear a women's
swImsuIt or leave the park
Sweeney, a lesbian, was at the park
celebrating h~r bachelorette party
with her f1ancee and friends and
was wearing men's swim trunks
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
HAS
published a 11stof sex tips
spec1f1callyfor women who are
having sex with other women The
onl1ne column, titled "28 M1ndBlow1ng Lesbian Sex Pos1t1ons,"
names, describes, and illustrates
each posItIon Names include
"The Laconic Lounger," "The Lazy
Girl's 69," and of course "The
•
••
~~Zs~~:;e
s;,;~~a~::
• ~~~ ::~;,;
■
■
••
PNCBANK
Is Lesbian Violence as
Real as StrS Violence?
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and lesbians
need to get the message. ev v1cToR1A A. eRowNwoRTH
In queer and mainstream media alike, we
on dating violence from their straight peers
hear all the time about bullying, cyber~vi~ or incorporating it into their relationships
olence, and hate crimes against LGBT
on their own isn't clear. Some groups that
monitor dating violence point to the vie~
people. But the worst violence, particularly
to LGBT people in their teens and 20s, is timization of girls and women on TV, on
coming from a surprising place: one another.
the Internet, and in movies as a template
Girls-yes, girls-are experiencing violence for teen behavior: They see women as ob~
in their youthful lesbian relationships. And
jects of violence and humiliation on a daily
once they are in their 20s, those behaviors
basis and presume that this is how women
deserve to be treated.
are fully entrenched. One butch African
American teen from a support group for
In addition, dating violence among
LGBT youth told me, "Everybody does it. straight teens is pervasive, and the stats
Girls be pushing each other and shoving,
are awful: Nearly 1.5 million high school
grabbing her phone and saying, 'Who you
students nationwide experience physical
texting?' Nobody wants to be disrespected:'
abuse from a dating partner each year. One
"Disrespect'' has become a catchall excuse in three adolescents in the U.S. is the vie~
for teens and young adults to use violence. tim of physical, sexual, emotional, or ver~
Once thought to be a vestige of gangbanger
bal abuse from a dating partner, making it
culture, now it's endemic-and it can mean
by far the most common aspect of youth
anything from a side~eye, to insults, to actu~ violence. One in 10 high school students
al physical assault.
has been hit, slapped, or physically hurt
by a boyfriend or girlfriend. One~third of
Whether lesbian teens are picking up
16
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
high school girls have been the victims of
physical or sexual abuse. Approximately
70 percent of college students say they
have been sexually coerced.
Organizations such as loveisrespect.
org, the Clothesline Project, and Mariska
Hargitay's Joyful Heart Foundation list
the disturbing facts and also provide a
litmus test for whether a dating relation~
ship is abusive. But these and other or~
ganizations are focused on what is and is
not abusive in heterosexual relationships.
Just seeing the constant references to male
pronouns might be enough to discourage
young lesbians from thinking that these
sites are a place for them to seek help.
As one Latina lesbian teen told me about
her volatile relationship with her girlfriend
(both are 16), "Her nails are so long, and
she just digs them into my arms all the time
when she's angry. I don't think that's what
they mean by abuse, though:' But when
VIEWS/POLI
she pulled up her sleeves, there were long
dark streaks down both arms-streaks that
might even leave scars.
High-school-age lesbians are slapping
each other around, being controlling, using
social media to bully one aother and generally adopting all the abusive behaviors of
their heterosexual peers. It's an escalating
problem, but no one is addressing it.
Woman-on-woman violence has long
been dismissed as not "real"-portrayed
as the stuff of pornographic titillation: cat
fight! Within our own community, such
violence has been treated as a dirty secret,
so straight people won't point fingers and
use it against us to prove that we are unstable and that our relationships aren't
"normal:' Yet intimate partner violence has
been around for a long time. In his memoir A Moveable Feast, Ernest Hemingway
includes a scene of domestic abuse he witnessed between his close friends Gertrude
Stein and her partner, Alice B. Toklas.
Other members of the expatriate lesbian
scene in Paris in the 1920s and '30s, women such as Natalie Barney and Renee Viviene, were also known to be physically and
psychologically abusive to each other.
Violence among lesbians was an issue in
the 1950s as well. In her introduction to the
2002 reissue of her 1959 lesbian pulp novel
Women in the Shadows, the legendary lesbian writer Ann Bannon reveals why she depicted lesbian domestic and dating violence
in her novel-something about which she
received a lot of negative response.
Bannon explains, "It was intended to
dramatize the toxic bias of the time and the
inward-turning anguish of the women who
confronted and survived it. In their anger at
the injustice of it all, they sometimes turned
their frustration on themselves and those
they loved. Back then [there was] just unimaginable isolation and a lot of trouble:'
Despite the mainstreaming of LGBT
people in the U.S., with a third of the
states approving same-sex marriage rights
and the military lifting the ban on gays,
isolation remains an issue, and so does intimate partner violence.
Another Closet, a group that focuses on
"domestic and family violence in LGBTIQ
relationships;' publishes an online journal
of personal experiences, predominantly
from lesbians and gay men. The stories are
poignant and disturbing-and
there are
plenty of them. Some stories detail extreme
violence, and others include the well-known
scenarios that occur in clubs on a Saturday
night when couples have had too much to
drink and a woman might-or might nothave been flirting with someone other than
her girlfriend.
The stories in Another Closet's "Battered
Lives" collection do have one disturbingly consistent theme: Lesbians expect to be
abused in their relationships and do not
know how to seek help, or even if they
should seek help.
In September 2013, the Journal of Youth
and Adolescence (JYA) published a paper
tided "Dating Violence Experiences of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Youth:'
The results are eye-opening. The study,
which followed nearly 6,000 high school
violence.
The authors of the JYA paper addressed
physical, psychological, sexual, and cyber-dating violence. Controlling behaviors such as telling a girlfriend what she
could and couldn't wear, whom she could
and couldn't associate with, and looking
through her phone and hyper-texting,
were rife. So too were cyber-bullying and
humiliation tactics (the very thing Hemingway describes in that cringeworthy
passage about Stein and Toklas).
The results of the study indicate that
LGBT youth are at higher risk for being
victimized by all types of dating violence
than are heterosexual youth.
Excessive jealousy and accusations of
cheating that led to arguments that led
to physical altercations of some sort were
commonly reported. But as several teens
told me, arguments are "normal:'
Marginalization has always been a key
factor in explaining why lesbians have been
unable to seek help for violent relationships.
Few domestic violence programs in the U.S.
address lesbian interpersonal violence along
with addressing male/ female violence, and
few cities have programs specifically geared
to LGBT relationship violence. It's still hidden-even though Ann Bannon was writing about it half a century ago.
Lesbians are at risk. According to experts
in the field of LGBT domestic violence,
those who are vulnerable to violence from
others, as LGBT people certainly are, may
be more vulnerable to experiencing violence
and perpetrating it against each other, particularly in intimate partner relationships.
Know the signs of abuse. Ignore the pronouns-if you wouldn't let a man do it to
you, it's not OK for another woman to do
it to you, whether she's 15 or 50. Threats,
intimidation, unwanted physical touching
of any kind-even if it's 'Just" being forced
to kiss her-that's all wrong. Your phoneand hers-are private property. No one has
the right to demand to see it, or any other
device. Extreme jealousy is a red flag-walk
away. So are abuse cycles-if she hit you
once but apologized, and you said it was
0 K, she will hit you again and expect you
to accept it. Don't.
We do all we can to protect ourselves
from the homophobic violence out there in
str8 culture. It's time we protect ourselves
from the violence in our own community, in
our own lives. Lesbians love other women.
That love should never include abuse. •
I HAVt
SttNTHt
ABUSt
rHrNOMtNON
ON
SOCIAl
MrDIAYOUNG
WOMtN
tXCUSING
VIOltNCt
BtTWttN
THtM
AS
NOT
RtAllY
VIOltNCt.
students at 10 high schools, found the most
violence in lesbian relationships. The most.
Are young lesbians absorbing the message that when women hurt each other it's
not "real" violence? Have they absorbed the
message that enduring "mean girls" is just
a right of passage, and the humiliation and
bullying they receive from one another is
OK? That"real" violence only happens when
a man is involved? Are they unconsciously
picking up the message from str8 culture
that violence against women is normal? Or
is their violence against one another-as
Ann Bannon described in her books more
than 50 years ago-a stress reaction to the
injustices of straight society?
I have seen the abuse phenomenon on
social media-young
women excusing violence between them as not really violence.
But when a teen is leaving marks on her
girlfriend's arms, marks that could become
permanent scars, that is real. And that is
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
17
HOW
THEY
FIRST
MET
so easy. We both share a love of travel and
go there. I liked how easily we laughed
FRAN: We met through a mutual friend in
adventure in our lives so we connected
together and that we had fun together.
Washington, D.C. I was in town working and
over that and laughed all night. We wound
Naomi had recently moved to the D.C. area
up closing the place down and a friendship
and didn't know many people, so we went
was instantly born.
to a Washington Mystics game together
WHEN
THEY
BECAME
ACOUPLE
NAOMI: We started dating a year after we
first met, in April 2010. I totally made the
and then to dinner. We closed down the
FIRST
IMPRESSIONS
OFEACH
OTHER
first move. I'm really glad she didn't object.
restaurant but it wasn't a date at all. She
NAOMI: The first time we saw each other
We dated long-distance for a year, because
was in a relationship and I wasn't in that
we were both wearing Lucky jeans and
I was living in D.C. at the time and Fran was
headspace at the time. I just thought she
Fleuvog shoes. We soon discovered we
in Seattle.
was fun, easy to talk to-and
wore the same size shoe. Every time we
oh so very
young. It never crossed my mind that we
saw each other after that, I seriously
FRAN: When I was in D.C. for work, we'd
might date.
weighed up dating her to be able to share
go to museums, eat good food, drink
her orgasmic shoe collection.
great wine, talk and laugh. I thought she
was a fun new friend. Then, about a year
NAOMI: That first day we met, we went out
to dinner at Hank's Oyster Bar in Dupont
FRAN: Of course I thought she was
later, Naomi split up with her girlfriend
Circle. We couldn't stop talking. It was just
adorable, but I really didn't let my mind
and flew to L.A. to join me at a friend's
18
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
s
VIEWS/TWOOF
THEIR
ADVICE
FOR
LESBIAN
COUPLES
CONSIDERING
WORKING
TOGETHER
gallery opening. It was then that she let it
FRAN: Neither of us is afraid of hard work,
be known she was interested in more than
and we share the same values. We're both
friendship. How could I resist?
obsessed with the business and making
FRAN: Make sure you like each other
it succeed. Naomi can really focus in on
enough to spend all your time together. And
ONGOING
INTO
BUSINESS
TOGETHER
details or on getting things done, and I am
you have a healthy way of handling conflict,
FRAN: It wasn't a decision that we
more easily distracted and jump from one
with hefty doses of humor. I think that too
consciously made. We just had this idea
thing to another. I do most of the writing
often more damage is done by what isn't
and kept moving forward on it. After we
and am more technically inclined. She's
said than by what is said. Respectfully.
dated for a year, Naomi decided to move to
taught herself Photoshop, and single-
Seattle to be with me-we were expecting
handedly ran the business for the first year.
NAOMI: Thank goodness Fran and I both
a puppy, after all. We would go shopping
Up until April, she did almost everything-
can't remember what happened yesterday,
and talk to friends and kept hearing the
shipping, customer service, vendor
because I'd say that's truly one of the keys
to our success as a couple in business. We
same frustrations about the lack of options
management, and website updates. When
for women who would rather shop in
I started coming to TomboyX HQ on a daily
don't hold on to anything, and so every day
the menswear department, but couldn't,
basis, I just kind of wandered around lost.
typically starts with a clean slate. We can
because of the fit. I was personally
She had to train me on all the stuff she'd
just focus on what needs to happen that
frustrated with the frilly options made for
been doing for the past year. Although
day and trust that we're both on the same
20-year-olds and didn't feel "seen" when I
she still doesn't trust me to handle the
page, without emotional baggage getting
shipping. One time last year when she was
in the way of being productive.
went into clothing stores. One day, Naomi
asked me, "How hard can it be to start
a clothing line?" We're both of the fixer
mentality, so off we went.
NAOMI: We started the business together
from an idea hatched in the summer of
2011, after talking to a lot of friends who
shared the same frustrations we did in
women's clothing. I honestly don't think we
had any idea what we were really getting
into at the time.
HOW
THEIR
SKILLS
COMPLEMENT
EACH
OTHER
ATTOMBOYX
NAOMI: First, let me start by saying I'm
completely in awe of Fran on a daily basis,
for so many reasons. She is so smart,
and she's always five steps ahead in any
out of town I was in charge of shipping and
shipped a woman a belt-she
had ordered
ONMARRIAGE
AND
WEDDING
PLANS
a T-shirt. But she loved the belt so much
NAOMI: I'm Cuban American. We had
she bought it too! So Naomi fired me from
an event in Cancun we were doing for
shipping and I promoted myself to the
Tomboy in September of 2013. It turns
marketing department.
out, Havana is only a one-hour flight from
Cancun, so we decided to fly over and
ONSOLVING
DISAGREEMENTS
meet my parents, who happened to be
NAOMI: We'll disagree at times, like when
visiting family there at the same time. Cuba
we might feel we need to change direction
is someplace Fran had always wanted to
on something we've been working on.
go and I hadn't been back since 1988, so
Things can definitely get heated if we're
I thought, "Y'know, I'm going to propose
both really passionate about what we're
to this amazing woman, and there's no
positioning for. We'll force each other to
better place." The Malecon in Havana is
really talk everything through, no matter
traditionally where all the young kids and
how difficult. We usually resolve any issue
lovers go to hang out. It's a seawall that
by the end of the day. Ultimately, we share
stretches for miles and faces the city. It's
a deep respect for each other, so we work
really beautiful. The morning after arriving
really hard at getting to the root of what
in Havana, I took Fran out for a stroll along
strategy. Her vision and forward thinking
the other is feeling, because it always has
the Malecon and proposed. She said, "Si."
have driven all the major decisions our
merit. Once that breakthrough happens,
business has made. She's highly analytical,
it's like magic and we can move on.
naturally curious, a strong collaborator,
FRAN: On a long, hot walk she popped the
question-and
put a ring on it! So I call her
and has a fabulous sense of humor, so
FRAN: Neither of us has much tolerance
my Beyonce. I was not expecting it at all. I
things never stay serious for long. My skill
for drama, so we talk things through and
have no idea when she had time to get the
set lies more in the day-to-day details, the
call each other on our shit. We're not
ring and keep it a secret, but she did. I then
operation of the business. From customer
afraid of conflict, so we have the freedom
proposed to her a couple of months later in
service, vendor management, shipping,
to talk openly about our frustrations or
Boston and said I wanted us to get married
working with our design and product
differences. We listen to each other and
in the Cape Cod area. Her family and best
development team, to ensuring that the
sometimes agree to disagree. And we
buds are all in the Northeast, and since she
company's books are up to date, I work
don't hold grudges. Ever. I'm not sure if
moved to the West Coast to be with me, I
to make sure our goals are being met and
that's a conscious decision or just that we
figured it was only fair that we get married
we're fulfilling product in the best possible
both have terrible memories. Either way,
on her home turf. We're still working on
way. Neither one of us wants to do what
it works! And of course without a sense of
the details, but one thing we know for
the other is doing, which is great because
humor we wouldn't still be doing this. We
certain is that Catie Curtis will officiate.
we very rarely step on each other's toes.
laugh often.
(tomboyexchange.com) •
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
19
Throw Out Old
Sex Toys?
A new relationship raises the question.
BY LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Lipstick: All hail to the sacred
Long Dong Silver! Or Long
ANtW
GIRlrnltND
Dong Purple! It's rational, Sally,
your repulsion. I'm right there
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I am writing
today because I am curious about
something that my partner, Joanie, and I
do not see eye to eye on. Joanie has been
an active lesbian for 20 years-me, only
seven. She's my second lesbian relationship.
She has a collection of dildos and I'm not
comfortable using them because she's had
them in past relationships. I know men can't
change their penis, but I wish she would
throw them all away and we could start
fresh. Is this irrational?-Sacred Sex Sally
wit'cha, standing weenie to
weenie. A new girlfriend=
new toys. Out with the vaginal
voodoo. Dip and I have sparred
on this for years because she
goes all Greenpeace when
we debate this very common
dil(do)lemma.
Dipstick: That's right, Lipstick.
For those of us trying to
preserve the earth, Reduce,
Reuse, Recycle is our motto.
That's why our harnesses are
not made out of leather but
/////////////////////,W///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
20
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
recycled bicycle tubes.
NtW
TOYS.
OUT
WITH
THtVAGINAl
VOODOO.
Lipstick: I'm all for helping the environ-
Lipstick: It seems like a long-distance re-
ment, but I don't think pitching that old
lationship because it is. Heather is having
Rabbit Habit is going to tip the landfill over
a classic emotional affair, and they're the
its limits.
worst. I'd rather my girl bang a beautiful
vixen in a suite overlooking Paris than lose
Dipstick: Think of the gallons of water
her to an emotional affair. For women,
needed to process that rubber. Would you
especially, these are the most damaging
get rid of your bed, your side table, repaint
trysts, because this is the core of how
your room every time a new lover came
we bond. We are sensitive creatures.
into your life? Why would you get rid of the
Inevitably, sometimes even overnight,
sex toys?
these affairs put an iron curtain between
couples. What amazes me is that you're
Lipstick: Because you didn't stick the side
still together after she checked out several
table into your girlfriend's pussay!
years ago. It's time to roll up your sleeves
and set some boundaries, babe. And, for
Dipstick: If dealt with tactfully, there is no
lezzy's sake, it's time to get real. Have you
reason to ditch your toys with each new
seen a couples counselor together? You
girl. There's no need to let your lover know
need to get honest with each other right
how long you've had the pink pecker.
away and needle out why Heather's going
Make love to her like she's the only woman
elsewhere for what she should be getting
you've ever noticed. And finally, put a con-
from you. Don't wait another minute. The
dom on that thing. Not only will this stop
clock is ticking.
the spread of disease, it will also create a
psychological barrier, keeping past lovers'
Dipstick: I saw a bomb go off at a party
energies from entering this coupling.
once that involved another woman and
an emotional affair. Shrapnel sprayed
Lipstick: While I appreciate Dip's conser-
everywhere and not one person at the BBQ
vation efforts, there is a simple solution
left without collateral damage. My two
here, Mustang Sally. Let Joanie keep her
friends didn't survive, and you and Heather
sentimental dillies and head to your local
might not either, unless you get real, like
lezzy-friendly toy store and buy her a
Lipstick says. Chances are, Heather is
little sexy surprise, just for the two of you.
playing not only you but this chat-room
Soon, Joanie will forget all about dingles of
chick, whom she's grooming to be at the
girlfriends past and only be thinking ride,
ready when she gets the guts to call it
Sally, ride!
quits with you. (Trust me, she's scheming.)
Want to make
a difference?
Considering where things are at, you can't
Dear Lipstick & Dipstick: I have been in a
be that happy either. Am I right? Let's flip
relationship for almost nine years. Several
this around for a second: Is Heather giving
years ago, my girlfriend, Heather, made
you everything that you need? I doubt it.
friends with a woman online because
Stand up for yourself and end this cycle
things were rough for us and she needed
now. Whether you girls stay together or
someone to talk to. This has caused a lot
split up, someone's got to
of problems and resentment because
dismantle this explosive
she talks to her almost every day and
device!•
Serve as a couple
with the
Peace Corps.
has almost nothing to say to me when
we are together. To me, it seems like a
Do you have a burning
long-distance relationship. Is it right for
question for Lipstick
me to ask Heather to stop talking to this
& Dipstick? Write to
person?-Lonely in Lancaster
ask@Ii pstickd i pstick.com
peacecorps.gov/samesexcouples
T
here's nothing like a little bit of dirt
and family equality to bring New
Yorkers together! More than 650
participants got down and dirty for a cause
on the LGBT-focused Out-Fit Challenge
5km mud run. The sporting event featured
over 15 military style obstacles, which included elements such as mud, water and
ice throughout the course. This year's event
22
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
took place on June 21 at the Tuxedo Ridge
Ski Center, New York with race waves beginning every 20 minutes; struggle was followed by fun as once participants reached
the finish line they were welcomed by an
end-of-race after party. Out-Fit Challenge
is designed by and for the LGBT community and its allies who are encouraged to
compete, make connections, and celebrate
community through endurance sports.
Proceeds from every event go to a national and local organization that strives
to make a difference for LGBT individuals. This year's New York event charity of
choice was the Family Equality Council,
which connects, supports and represents
the LGBT community across the U.S.
(out-fitchallenge.com) •
T
he concept of creating Seattle Women's Pride was quite elementary to
inventors at The Seattle Lesbian and
Seattle Pride: provide a sleek space for gay
women and their friends to relax, unwind
and have a little fun around Pride weekend, all while enjoying some of the most
influential policymakers and entertainers
around. On Friday, June 20, 2014, that
mission was accomplished-and
then
some-as
more than 200 guests helped
take over The Lobby Bar in Seattle's Capitol Hill neighborhood.
Washington State Supreme Court Justice Mary Yu, the first woman of color and
the first oudesbian to be appointed to the
Washington State Supreme Court bench,
made an entrance just in time to hear Seattle Pride Idol 2012 champion Jack Mozie
croon to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow:' Then, a mighty force took the stage:
NBC's The Voicefrontrunner Vicci Martinez, who is a Tacoma native. LGBT civil
rights leader Marsha Botzer also stepped
up to the platform to say a few words and
inspire the crowd.
Fierce house music from Portland and
Seattle-based Hot Flash Inferno's DJ
Wildfire filled in the gaps between performances by Seattle Pride Idol 2014 Ruth
Soto and the Angel Band Project's Jen
Hopper, whose rendition of "Real Love"
brought down the house and closed the
show. ( seattlepride.org) •
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
23
VIEWS/
LAUGHTRA
Lovebirds is your 10th solo show.
Wow, Micial I'm channeling Polaroid Phillie
I did some dumb shit in college to meet
Congratulations.
right now for the answer ...Phillie is thinking ..
girls. I was forced to join a coven. It was
Thank you, Micia, for seeing it twice!
She says that you, Micia, are cute and she
lame. Nobody had any magic power. But we
digs your gap, but if she only gets one
had a cult mentality. Aurora represents the
What's the secret to creative longevity?
photo, she will shoot Mark Zuckerberg.
kind of sociopath who could control us. The
There are many secrets. First, I have the gap
Because Phillie says Mark Zuckerberg needs
original character had a different name, but
between my teeth. Love it or hate it, people
anal. Wait, Micia, that was wrong ...buffering ..
while workshopping Lovebirds I met a fan
want to see that gap with their own eyes.
Phillie says Mark Zuckerberg needs analog
named Aurora who was so over the top and
You have a gap too, Micia. I've seen you
technology. Phillie says she will charge him
New Age I had to use her name.
work it. Money is always a good longevity
two babillion dollars for the photo because
motivator for me. I love my fans and they
Polaroid film is very expensive.
What would your heartbreaker
character, Barbara, want to say to the
want new shows. I really could have stopped
at nine solo shows, but I have a touch of
The Polaroid camera plays a major role
OCD and I wanted to reach the number 10.
in the show. Are you a photographer?
FLOTUS?
Barbara would tell the FLOTUS,"Teach me
My best creative longevity advice to all the
Do selfies count? I love those old instant
how to Dougie."
aspiring young lesbian writer/performers
cameras. They're magical. Phillie is based on
How has Lovebirds impacted your
out there is, write what you know but very
nightclub photographers I'd see at gay bars,
slowly, like, a sentence a day. Then call me
back in the day. I began to research Polaroid
love life?
when you're 40.
cameras and the philosophy behind the com-
Great question I Full disclosure-I started
pany. I met other Polaroid freaks who hooked
writing Lovebirds after the breakup of a fairly
What does Lovebirds tell us about love?
me up with four vintage Polaroid Land cam-
long relationship. It was hard times for me.
The characters I play in Lovebirds show you
eras. One of them, the 250 Land, works great
Then I got a commission in 2013 to create this
what not to do. Don't take bad acid on a
and is used in my show. I hope to obtain the
show, and it was, like you said, such a depar-
date. Don't make a butch lesbian cry. Don't
Polaroid Swinger and all the models someday.
ture from how I wrote and performed before!
buy cocktails for a married woman. The
If I succeed, you'll find me on a special epi-
I had to use all my concentration to make
story, which bounces between 2014 and
sode of Hoarders, "The Polaroid Edition." The
Lovebirds. I had no time to obsess over the
the 1970s, makes a case for nightlife as an
bottom shelf of my refrigerator is full of black-
ex. I stopped hurting and fell in love with my
endless romantic wonderland. I like to think
and-white film packs. I'm sure all the toxins are
show. I even suspended my OkCupid Profile.
my show conveys the idea that although
wafting up to my organic greens. It's worse
Lovebirds is my girlfriend.•
technology has changed our world, our
than nicotine, my Polaroid addiction.
hearts have not been digitized.
The professor in your show sleeps 45
This is a departure from much of your
minutes per day. What's your average?
autobiographical work. Why the shift?
What happens when you get less? More?
My previous solo shows revealed everything
Now that I have sleep meds, I get almost
about me-my
eight hours. I hate to stop and go to bed. My
parents, being Latina, being
queer, my dog, my exes, my exes' dogs,
parents were in show biz. We were a night owl
acting in a science fiction flop with Queen
home. Our neighbors in the hood thought
Latifah, lying about my age. Plus, in my spare
my parents were vampires, because they
time I do stand-up, which is allabout me.
only came out at night. When I was little, my
Enough about me, right? Time for fictional
bedtime was when the 11p.m. news came
characters, which is what I had wanted to do
on. As a teenager, I hated my life and slept 12
for a long time, write plays and screenplays.
hours a day. Oh, to be that depressed again I
Lovebirds is written in the style of a script,
If I had my way, I'd go to bed at 5 and wake up
but I play all the characters. My favorite
at noon. There are days, when I have a writing
feedback is when an audience member
deadline, that I will skip sleep altogether. Back
says, "I forgot it was just you up there."
when I had a girlfriend, I'd go to bed earlier
and pretend I was sleeping. I wouldn't fake my
Lovebirds' narrator is Polaroid Phillie, a
orgasms for her, but I would fake sleeping.
drug-addled nightclub photographer.
If Phillie could photograph one person
Who or what inspired Aurora Flashmoon
today, who would it be and why?
and her interpretive dance?
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
25
ln Good ~llith
UK songstress Paloma Faith's lesbian
appeal. BY MARCIE BIANCO
Al
eifect Contradiction, the
hird album by Paloma
Faith, is, quite simply, per~
ect. Already topping the
charts in the UK and Australia, thanks to
the No. 1 hit "Only Love Can Hurt Like
This;' the album marks a return to Faith's
soul~girl roots. While the lyrics explore
the vast landscape of human emotions,
the music is consistently upbeat-some~
thing Faith deliberately constructed, this
time around, because, as she told me in the
interview below, she just wants to make
people dance! This encouragement to cele~
brate reflects her realization, upon turning
33 at the end of July, oflife's happiness, in
all its delicious contradictions.
26
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
While Faith has always shown love
for all her gay audiences (especially as a
self~confessed drag queen with years of
experience in London's East End), she is
more explicit about her love for female and
lesbian audiences. For Faith, who is set to
tour the U.S. this fall, love is love, regard~
less of gender.
What's a "perfect contradiction"? Why
that title for the album?
The title means a lot of things at the
same time. It came about during a con~
versation I was having with PharrelL He
was discussing my life with me, what I
like to do. I said, 'Tm a perfect mix of
contradictions;' and he said, "Wow! You
should call your album that:' I thought,
"Yeah, that's quite an identity statement
for me:• It speaks to the type of person I
am-defined by my own rules, rather than
by social expectations. You can hear it in
the music as well. When you listen to the
album, it's quite happy sounding, but the
lyrics are quite dark. On the other hand,
it has to do with the fact that at the time
I wrote this album, I was happier than I
think I've ever been in my adulthood.
You just turned 33. Let me tell you, 33
will be the best year of your life. It's
your Jesus Year.
Oh good! A lot of people have said that
to me, actually.
REV1Ews1MUSIC
The idea of contradiction plays itself
out for everyone, right? How we appear and seem to others isn't exactly
how we feel on the inside. This album
feels more upbeat than your previous
two. Would you agree?
Totally. I did that on purpose because I
just love playing live, and I found myself al~
ways being, like, "I want to get them danc~
ing!" [laughs]'Tve got nothing to get them
dancing!" I was just thinking about touring,
basically. Most of the album, except the
Pharrell production and "Only Love Can
Hurt Like This;' is all kind of very live, so
that it's re~creatable on the stage.
The album's lyrics convey a sense of
mourning while still evoking power.
Do you think your lyrics have found a
special place in the gay community?
As far as I know, I'm connecting to ev~
eryone, because we're all human. I find this
kind of a funny question, because I don't see
any difference, emotionally, between people.
I watch films where people have their hearts
broken, gay or straight ... The amount of
tears I shed over Blue Is the Warmest Color!
Are you familiar with the film?
Oh yes, I am. I think my question was
more about how the gay community,
historically, has identified with artists
who show strength in the face of
adversity.
I find popular culture, [female] music
in popular culture in particular, quite dis~
turbing-the
way that it's sold to me, as
a woman. To me, the male gaze, more in
American music than in British music, is
quite aggressive. They call it 'girl power;' but
to me it's not. It's still the objectification of
women for the male gaze. Sure, you can be
empowered by that, if you think as a woman
that that's the only power you can have, but
I like to think that we can have a music that
involves intelligence, creativity, or a sense of
humor-or
various other things that I like
to play with in my own image. Everything I
do is very sensual and erotic. I found it very
degrading, for example, that there was a"Pa~
rental Guidance" label put on the video I did
for "Only Love Can Hurt Like This:'
Why do you think the label was added
to the video?
I find that when you're portraying the
extreme vulnerability that you have in inti~
macy with a person, rather than this kind of
put~on 'Tm a sex beast" image, which I find
more aggressive, or even pornographic. ..
The extreme vulnerability is too
threatening?
Now that's an interesting question, when
we're talking about feminism. The other
thing I've come up against is when I cut a
record and there's a change of gender from
what it was in the original song. Recently,
I've been covering Van Morrison's "Crazy
Love'' and I always keep to the original re~
cord, which is referring to "her" -"I loved
her;' and so forth. People always come up to
me and ask me why I don't change [the pro~
noun] to "him;' and I'm like, "Why should Ir
Why shouldn't I love a woman?"
So, do you think that people question
your sexuality because you keep that
pronoun?
I don't really care if anyone wants to
question my sexuality. I want everyone to
think it's none of their business, that emo~
tions are emotions, regardless of gender.
You fall in love with souls.
The difference is a material one, for
you. The body is connected to lust, the
spirit or soul to love.
I agree, and I have had very passionate
love relationships with a few women in my
life. They haven't been consummated, but
the feelings are, like, even more than "I love
you:' Like, it's intense. I have one girl who
I write letters to every day. It's a passionate
thing that's beyond and above anything,
spiritually. Who I sleep naked with or cud~
dle with is none of anyone's business.
So, in relation to your music ...
My work is to do with finding a univer~
sal language, not accentuating or encour~
aging difference or segregation. I can relate
to anyone because we're all human.
Emotions are universal. When you
write your songs, do you aim for a
manifestation of a specific emotion, or
do you do something different?
I genuinely start with a feeling, or with
something I'm going through at the time,
and I begin with the song more than the
aesthetics. [The process] is usually very
spontaneous, which is why I prefer to
write an album over an extended period of
time-so that I can work through a feeling
or find an answer to a question, I suppose.
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
27
REVIEWS/MUSIC
Which female artists would you like to
collaborate with?
Personally, I've got a bee in my bonnet
about that. I don't think there's enough
of this going on with British artists. You
know that brilliant song Aretha Franklin
and Annie Lennox did? I'm like, "Why aren't we doing that, now!" [laughs]I would
love to sing with Erika Badu, Adele- I
mean, there are so many ... I'm always
talking to girls about this.
HOT
LICKS
))BYKELLYMCCARTNEY
Why do you think there's not a lot of
collaboration?
I just think that it stems from the playground, like it's something that needs to
be broken down. I think women need to
celebrate each other. The problem with
commercialism is that it promotes female
competition. It's all about going head-tohead. It's all about cadights. It's like, what
the fuck? Why aren't we holding hands?
It's perpetuated by the media?
Yeah. I don't think it's a happy thing. Because, ifl'm honest, I'm a woman's woman.
I was raised by women, and I relate more
to women. I do feel more comfortable with
women, and I feel more admiration for
other women than I do for men.
Paloma
Faith
APerfect
Contradiction
(Epic)
Infused with a sophistication that is not often found in the pop genre, Paloma
Faith's A Perfect Contradiction is a thinking woman's dance music. It all comes
together as a wonderful synthesis of its various producers, with danceable
grooves, potently soulful vocals, and not completely banal lyrics. Songs like
"Mouth to Mouth" and "Take Me" come chock-full of retro '70s synth and guitar
sounds that, oddly, lend a certain gravitas to the music, a historical context
of sorts. It's as if Faith is channeling the spirits of Donna Summer, Anita Ward,
and Gloria Gaynor all at once. "Only Love Can Hurt Like This," "Trouble With My
Baby," and "Taste My Own Tears" reach even further back in time and style,
recalling and invoking Smokey Robinson-era Motown sounds. Yet, in Faith's
hands, the whole thing still feels completely contemporary. Amy Winehouse
would have been proud; judging by Twitter, Adele sure seems to be.
I wish more women felt like that,
frankly.
I'm going to work on this.
(palomafaith.com) •
Banks
Goddess
(Harvest
Recoras)
Though it echoes tones of Portishead, Morcheeba, and Massive Attack,
the debut collection from Banks never quite catches up to any of those
predecessors' efforts. There's a good bit of style-and substance-in Goddess,
but it has, unfortunately, an uneven application. The first few tracks showcase
the thinner, warbled side of Banks' voice, sometimes against a backdrop of
almost dissonant ambient vocals. The poetic "Waiting Game" starts out languid
and captivating ...until a heavy, rumbling synth comes in and dips down to
frequencies that threaten to cause physical discomfort. Further in, cuts like
"Brain" and "Drowning" offer up a decent enough down-tempo background, but
there's nothing to hold on to once the music ends-no memorable melodies or
indelible grooves demanding to be heard on repeat. There's just a whole lot of
being different for its own sake, and that does not generally mean being better ...
or even good.
28
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
L
et's face it-we are always on the lookout for the next
steamy lesbian film. Long ago, when I was first starting
to come into my true self, I could turn to only a hand~
ful of queer films ( and I had to find those by chance)
to show me that my lifestyle is normal. Nowadays, there's been a
breakthrough, and LGBT cinema has taken film festivals, social
media, and Video On Demand by storm. It seems that I've got
an endless list of lesbian titles to keep track of. Danielle Earle, a
writer, director, and producer, has brought us a new feature film
titled Lover's Game, an intense roller~coaster ride of emotions be~
ginning with the premise that deep beneath the surface a woman
may crave something she never thought possible.
Lover'sGame tells the story of Vincent and Annabella, a wealthy
couple living in New York City who want to have a child but soon
discover that children are not in their future. This anguish be~
gins to affect their marriage. Unexpectedly, Annabella meets Gil~
lian-a seductive, exotic, lesbian painter. Soon, Annabella and
Gillian's relationship becomes closer and causes a whirlwind of
intense feelings and emotions. Betrayal and seduction lead Anna~
bella to her breaking point and to an unanticipated ending. I sat
down with Earle to find out how the film came to be.
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
29
How was the idea for Lover's Game
conceived?
Lover's Game was developed during a
very tragic time in my life. My grandmother
had passed away, and she was very dear to
my heart. When I wrote Lover'sGame I was
28 years old, and I just all of a sudden want~
ed to produce a film that the brokenhearted
would relate to. Everyone, one way or an~
other I'm sure, has experienced this type
of pain in a relationship. Love is beautiful,
joyous, but it can also be a beautiful disas~
ter. Gay, straight-we've all experienced it.
Loving someone so much that, due to cer~
tain circumstances, you have to let them go.
That's what Lover'sGame is all about. I had
to in my own life. And I hope Lover'sGame
sends a message to everyone to stay strong,
it does get better, and love is a waiting game
for us all.
What stands out most in this film? What
message will resonate with numerous
audiences?
I strongly believe this film stands out
because it breaks many stereotypes in the
lesbian community, and the performances
by Crawford M. Collins [Annabella] and
Miranda McCauley [Gillian] are going to
touch your heart in more ways than one.
The chemistry is so beautiful between
these two characters. The angst and de~
ception of Blaine Pennington's character
[Vincent] is powerful. The message that
you will soon find in our film is that love is
universal, there is no divide or separation,
and I feel that such shows as OrangeIs the
New Black,which is just brilliant on all lev~
els, capture that in a beautiful way.
Will there be a premiere, or a time and
place where Curve readers can view
the film?
Definitely! Were planning an event in
January after the launch of the film, which
will be released on VOD. We have signed
to an amazing distribution company called
Section IL
MEET
THE
LOVERS!
Lover's Game has a cast of talented up-and-coming actors who create the film's dark and emotion-packed love triangle. Crawford
M. Collins is in the title role of Annabella, the wife of the assistant DA, played by Blaine Pennington (Brooklyn Is in Love). Gillian,
the painter who becomes the object of Annabella's adulterous affections, is played by Miranda McCauley, who also appears in
Ear/e's Brooklyn Is in Love. Add Lover's Game to that growing list of must-see /ezzie films, ladies. (loversgamefi/m.com)
30
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
REVIEWS/
Fl
HOT
PICKS
)) LAUREN
SHIRO
Forbidden
Love:
The
Unashamed
Stories
ofLesbian
Lives
(WolfeOnDemano)
Wolfe Video Productions has announcedthe 20th-anniversary, remastered, high
definition re-release of ForbiddenLove: The UnashamedStories of LesbianLives.
This documentary was the opening night film at Frameline:The San Francisco
International LGBTFilm Festival in 1993,and won the GLAADMedia Award for Best
Documentary in 1994. Its re-release could not come at a better time-celebrating the
progress we've made in the battle for equal rights in the U.S. as states lift their bans
on gay marriage and President Obamahas signed an executive order barring antiLGBTdiscrimination in the workplace.
Such progress was not always certain. Through interviews, 10 women tell their
stories of life during the homophobic mid 20th century. Before there was Stonewall,
there were these stories. The film also highlightsa very unusualcultural response
to the lesbian community, the graphic novellas of the era, which were both erotic
and damning in nature. There was obvious curiosity about lesbian lifestyles, but the
social stigma and bigotry far outweighed the benefits of that curiosity.
Thefilm providesa valuablelessonto post-Stonewallgenerationswho may not even
haveheardof that turning point in LGBThistory. It remindsus all of the battlesour
predecessorsfought, beforeour rights and libertieswere securedby voter turnout and
presidentialdecree.Thisfilm shows the youngergenerationthat it truly doesget better.
Consideringthe numberof bullyingand harassmentincidentsthat today's LGBTteens and
childrenface, a moviewith this messageis perfectly poignantand fitting in our own time.
Yes,we hear the horror stories, but we also hearthe happyendings.
ForbiddenLove: TheUnashamedStories of LesbianLives is an excellentlyexecuted
documentary.Althoughit is 20 years old, it is just as relevantnow as it has ever been.
Andjust as muchof a treasure. (wolfeondemand.com)
Out
Now:
StarCross'cl
Jammers
If you like cute Aussie girls and plenty of action-in and out of bed-take a look at
Star Cross'dJammers,the latest film thunder from Down Under. Set in the roughand-tumble world of roller derby, this independent lesbian film feature is a modern
day love story with a touch of Shakespeare.Written, directed and produced by
PennyCavanaughand Michaela Upton (who met at the 2007 Xena:Warrior Princess
convention) it's out on DVDnow. (starxjammers.com)
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
31
hronicling the stories of
40 LG BT youths between
the ages of 12 and 21, this
raw and compelling pho~
tojournalism project com~
bines Lauren Golio's revealing portraits
with personal stories gathered by Diana
Scholl. Some of the images stand alone,
with no story to accompany them, leaving
you to search the images and create your
own narrative. Most are accompanied by
a few short paragraphs from the subject's
perspective, providing fascinating insight
into the photographs. "We started We Are
the Youth so young people could see images
of themselves reflected in the world;' says
Golio, "and to catalog what we knew at
the time was a historic turning point for
LGBTQ youth in the United States:'
C
32
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
REVIEWS/
The book aims to record the changing
face of queer youth in a shifting political
and cultural landscape. It begins with a
timeline, milestones in the advancement
of LGBT rights in the four years since the
project's inception, and ends with a glos~
sary of definitions, making it accessible to
all readers while letting the subjects speak
in their own voices. With full~page color
photographs and short descriptions of the
subjects' identities, families, hopes, and
fears, these tales of high school and home
school, college and shelter, coming out and
staying in, reveal just how rich and diverse
the young queer community is.
The photographs, while expressive on
their own, take on a whole new meaning
in the context of the stories that accompa~
ny them, reminding us that what is on the
outside, no matter how deliberate and easy
to read, is only part of any human being's
story. We are so used to sorting teens into
groups based on their appearance, seeing
them only as parts of a subculture, but We
Are the Youth challenges that, showing us
just how complex these young people are.
The perfect gift for the queer or question~
ing young person in your life, and for any
person who wants or needs to understand
our queer youth, this book has the paten~
tial to start conversations and maybe even
save lives.
BOOKS
r
seum of Gay and Lesbian Art 1n New York
City, and the Silver Eye Center for Photography 1n Pittsburgh, Pa We Are the Youth
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
33
The Hunger Games-no openly gay char~
acters! I thought it was about time that
changed.
oanna Benecke is a true re~
naissance woman. The au~
thor, actor, screenwriter and
film editor for the UK's les~
bian DIVA Magazine man~
ages to strike a beautiful balance between
covering celebrities and creating her own
art. Benecke's latest release, Being Benedict
Cumberbatch was published this summer,
and she's currently at work on a queer~cen~
tric YA trilogy.
J
Benedict Cumberbatch has always
been popular with lesbians. What do
you think makes him so appealing?
I think Benedict's appealing because
he's an unexpected superstar. His face
is rather chinless and odd, he's made his
name playing freaks and geeks, he speaks
his mind-he doesn't give the usual bland
celebrity responses, he's happy to say when
he hates something!-and
he certainly
never anticipated he'd be a sex symbol. I
think a lot of the LGBT community can
34
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
relate to him because the world tends to
see us as 'unexpected' too!
You are currently working on a YA
trilogy set in dystopian Sweden. I'm
sold! What can you tell us about the
first book?
I'm so glad you think it sounds appealing!
It's set in a near future where only same~sex
relationships are allowed and breeding is
tightly regulated. The main character is a
15~year~old called Freja-she's funny, feisty
and flabby. And she's convinced she's a de~
scendant of the Norse Gods.
Queer characters and storylines are
vital at any age but is there a reason
you decided to go with YA?
I did an MA in Creative Writing and
started looking at what people were read~
ing on the bus, on the tube, in cafes to see
what books people were buying-and
I
realized that readers of all ages seemed
obsessed with YA. Harry Potter, Twilight,
Since you are a film critic and writer
for DIVA Magazine, I'd love to get your
opinion on the state of lesbian cinema
today.
Getting funding for lesbian film is really
hard and even if technology has made it
easier to make low~budget crowd~funded
projects these days, without a budget for
marketing it can be hard to reach your
audience. I've had meetings about scripts
I've written where producers ask me to
tone down or remove lesbian content be~
cause they don't think it's marketable and
I know plenty of other writers who've had
the same experience. But I've recently met
a producer who's looking into setting up a
UK~based LGBT film production com~
pany so fingers crossed! The success of
Orange Is the New Black makes me very
happy-hopefully
the film industry will
realize that people do want to see queer
female stories.
This is Curve's "Out" issue, so tell us
what being an out gay woman means
to you.
It means loving my wife, being myselfand being lucky enough to live in a coun~
try where I have the right to have a wife
and be myself. These rights are recent and
fragile and denied to all too many mem~
bers of our global community. •
Follow Joanna Benecke on Twitter:
@joannabenecke
ith missiles firing
to make a statement about the
remind us that even after the conflict
around the world
effects of war using the remains of
ends and the dust settles, what is left
with disastrous
bombs detonated in Laos during
are communities in need. Laos is
the Vietnam War. ARTICLE22,
based in Brooklyn N.Y, takes bomb
the most heavily bombed country
in history, and Suda conceived the
shards and converts them into sleek
idea for her jewelry while visiting
accessories and finishes them in semi-
workshops in the rural community
precious and precious metals. The
trendy designs bear inscriptions to
of Ban N aphia. "We can now tell
the stories of Laotian communities
consequences,
war 1s agam
a threat to our
existence. Jewelry
designer Elizabeth
Suda has decided
36
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
FEATURES/
ST
ARTICLE 22
with a modern and original
cultivate the untapped talents of
is a start: for each piece of jewelry
approach, creating unique objects
local artisans to create designs that
purchased, ARTICLE22 donates
and new forms of business with local
appeal to those living in peace zones
funds to help clear bomb-littered
entrepreneurs," she says. Inspired
by Article 22 of the United Nations'
while generating positive social
impact to those living in recovering
land, artisans are paid at least four
times the local market rate, and an
Universal Declaration of Human
war zones. At the current rate of
additional 10% of profit goes to the
Rights, Suda's first collection,
removal it will take 800 years to clear
local community to support village
"Peacebomb," undertook the mission
of "trade not aid" and aimed to
the unexploded bombs in Laos, let
alone the rest of the world. But here
development. Now that's a (fashion)
statement. (article22.com)
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
37
FILES
W
hen she lived in the MarylandD.C.area, Teresa Morcho
enjoyed a vibrant lesbian
community with plentiful
entertainment opportunities.
However, when Morcho served in the military
at a base in Fayetteville, N.C.,she no longer had
such a community and noted the lack of LGBT
events in the area. Trebor Entertainment Group
was created in 2007 with the mission of providing the lesbian community in rural towns in
and around North Carolina with quality nightlife.
Today, the Trebor Entertainment Group is an
agency providing not-for-profit services to stud
models, exclusively through the Stud Model
Project.
"Our long-term goal and mission is to completely eradicate the
need for specific gender roles in the fashion industry," says Morcho.
"Our short-term goal and mission is to use our photo books to
create a buzz and awareness in the industry, as well as motivate
and inspire masculine-identified women who aspire to be models.
We are experiencing a serious shift in fashion lately," she observes,
"and the line between men's and women's clothing is very much
blurred. We hope this project will challenge the fashion industry to
open more doors for models in the LGBTQ community who dare to
explore different gender roles."
So, what is a "stud"? In the past, the term was used to describe
an urban butch woman of any race who emulated the look of
heterosexual men. But the younger generation, with its fashion-forward approach to personal style, has redefined this term. "The
term 'stud' now describes a more confident masculine-identified
woman who creates her own identity and stands strong in her
womanhood," says Morcho. "I remember watching America's Next
Top Model with AzMarie Livingston and thinking, 'She would be
phenomenal if they allowed her to model men's wear,' but of course
she was told countless times to 'soften her look.' If only they saw
her true potential."
The Stud Model Project aims to provide what reality TV shows
can't: a sense of freedom, affirmation and comfort during photo
shoots and the encouragement of each model's unique look.
"We push for a very positive experience and environment with
this project," says Morcho, who says that it has captured the
attention of butch lesbians all over the world-in
countries such as
South Africa and Jamaica, where masculine-identified women can
find strength and motivation in this project, because their own culture prevents them from expressing their gender identity. Morcho
knows the feeling herself, having spent her childhood in Cameroon,
Central Africa. As a young girl she had a passion for fashion but
never dreamed that she could express herself and her aesthetic
through her own unique identity, which would be taboo at home.
"Masculine-identified women of color face a huge amount of
discrimination," says Morcho. "This project allows stud women all
over the world to have access to positive images of models that
they can relate to. We want women all over to know it is OK to
feel sexy, confident, beautiful, and handsome at the same time."
(studmodelproject.com)
42
CURVE
•
OCTOBER
2014
•
OUT PROFILE
OUT PROFILE
THE AUTEUR
Hollywood writer-director Sarah Spillane calls the shots.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
n Australian filmmaker who is also an out lesbian living in Hollywood, Sarah Spillane
knows about breaking through. Her awareness of outsider and minority identities
makes her a better storyteller than most, as witnessed by her first feature film, Around
the Block, which tells the tale of Liam, a poor Aboriginal adolescent trying to extricate
himself from his family's cycle of crime and revenge. Dina (Christina Ricci) is the teacher who offers him the means to be free, while searching for her own authentic self. It's a good film,
and to this writer it feels authentic-even if the reviews have been mixed. Like Spillane, I lived on
the fringe of Sydney's troubled Aboriginal neighborhood and taught Aboriginal young adults, so I
was eager to discuss our common ground and the new ground she's breaking.
A
"What's been so interesting for me is that the people who crit-
same time they contain this reference to me as rare," says Spillane,
icize the 'familiar white-savior story' are themselves middle-class
who admires directors Kimberly Peirce ("Boys Don't Cry is one of
white journalists," says Spillane. "People from minority groups
the bravest first feature films"), Kathryn Bigelow ("Her content is
love the film. I haven't received a negative review from an African
not defined by her gender"), and Jodie Foster ("She's made such an
American, Native American, Indigenous Australian reviewer. That's
interesting crossover from acting into film making").
the audience I care about with this film."
If the film feels familiar (it has elements of the 1995 Michelle
Spillane is also encouraged by female actors who communicate
"a warmth and a desire" to work with female filmmakers. But don't
Pfeiffer film Dangerous Minds, which Spillane had not seen when
slap a feminist label on her just yet. As a die-hard tomboy and
she was writing her script), it's because she wrote it back in 2002,
the captain of her primary school football team, Spillane grew up
when narratives about race relations were a novelty in mainstream
believing she could do anything the boys could. And while Around
films. It has taken Spillane over a decade to get the film made, os-
the Block begins with a quotation from Simone deBeauvoir, Spillane
tensibly due to her gender, sexuality, race, and film-funding politics.
is philosophical about feminism itself.
But she is proud of the result. After a Sydney screening, elders from
"I have to be honest: I believe in the feminist cause and I believe
the Block, Sydney's notoriously dangerous Indigenous neighbor-
in furthering the presence of female artists and politicians. But for
hood, approached Spillane. "They came up to me, hugging me, in
me to call myself a feminist-I
tears, saying, 'Thank you-thank
my work. I am reluctant to step aside and focus on female equality:
you for telling our story."'
Spillane believes that all minority groups can empathize with
one another. Living near the Block in the early 2000s, a struggling
feel that would make it the focus of
I just do it."
A change is in the air, even in Hollywood, she believes. "There's
filmmaker directing commercials and trying to get her projects off
a whole movement of young women based here in L.A.-it's Ellen
the ground, Spillane was approached by the staff of an Aboriginal
Page, Ruby Rose [who has a cameo in Spillane's film as Christina
arts college to teach their kids how to make movies. From that
Ricci's sexy lesbian one-night stand], Evan Rachel Wood-really
experience-melded
talented young women, [and] these women are taking the stage.
with her ideas about existential freedom for
individuals, in spite of their sexuality, religion, socio-economic
Look at Ellen Page-that is a gutsy, gutsy move," she says of Page's
status-came
coming out.
the idea for Around the Block.
Whether or not Spillane has yet achieved her own existential
freedom as a female filmmaker in Hollywood is something she is
"People like Ellen Page are making a stand and they're seeking
out filmmakers like myself, who are part of a transitional phase in
happy to discuss. "I don't mind being called an 'out' director. I do
Hollywood where it's our generation now who's making these mov-
try to not go too far into the 'out lesbian filmmaker' stuff because
ies and moving away from the traditional Hollywood stuff. It's really
I don't want to be pigeonholed in Hollywood as only being able to
going to create a kind of revolution in the industry."
direct gay content."
After the film's Hollywood premiere, Spillane received numerous
emails, most to the tune of: Congratulations on your film, it was so
moving, so powerful. I think you have the potential to be one of the
few female directors to break through in Hollywood.
"These emails are beautiful and encouraging to me, but at the
While both in Hollywood and in Australia the film industry is still
largely a boys' club, it's a testament to the power of women that
when Christina Ricci came on board the film got greenlit.
And Spillane has already wrapped her next film project, a truelife action adventure with a powerful young heroine. Looks like
those emails are right: She will break through.•
OCTOBER
2014
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45
THE 16-YEAROLD CEO
How high school student Valerie Weisler stood up to
bullies and changed the world.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
t sweet 16, New York native Valerie
Weisler is not waiting for it to get
better. She serves as the CEO of the
Validation Project, a global movement she founded in January 2013
that unites teenagers to channel
their energies into positive action through
social justice campaigns, connecting with mentors, and volunteering at one of 900 Validation
Project Chapters around the world. Since its
launch, the Validation Project has raised more
than $25,000 in goods and services for people
in need, and works with more than 5,500 teenagers and 2,000 mentors. If that's not enough
of an achievement for a teen who decided she
wouldn't take being bullied any more, Weisler
also serves as a student ambassador for the
Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network
(GLSEN) and the Human Rights Campaign.
You can see her on screen starting this year as
a cast member of Magic Makers, a reality TV
show by former CNN producer Melissa Rowley
that will go behind the scenes to show the
world how teenagers are making an impact.
A
into a domino effect of pride and acceptance in my school. One day
after school, I got a phone call from a boy in Uganda who was hiding
his sexual orientation to stay alive, begging for me to help him stop
hating himself. I knew I had to do something-the
problem was a lot
bigger than me when I was scared to walk down my school hallway.
It's my generation's civil rights movement.
Your actual coming out moment(s)?
When did you realize you were a lesbian?
The first person I came out to, without saying "This might be a thing,"
When I was in preschool, my mom says I asked her if there was a
was my school's Gay Straight Alliance advisor. She's also a lesbian
country where I could marry my best friend, Rachel. But the first time
and has a wife and kids. After that, it was a trail of random coming
the word "lesbian" really clicked with me was in seventh grade, when
outs: to my teacher after I did a project on Stonewall, to my best
I had a big crush on one of my friends. I freaked out and "forgot" that
friend at an event for my youth group, United Synagogue Youth
I ever thought I was a lesbian for two years.
(USY),to my mom when she found me crying in the bathroom, slap-
How did your family, friends, and fellow students react?
the world, when I was honored as a Youth Leader for my organiza-
"Gay" has never been a hush-hush word in my family. My mom's birth
tion, the Validation Project, by GLSENin May 2014 and shared the
mother, whom she found in 2006, is gay and married, and my oldest
video of my speech on Facebook. But that wasn't the last time I came
brother, Alex, came out to us three years ago. But even though I'm
out. I come out every day. I come out when my camp counselor
a 30-minute car ride from New York City, I was the first person in
asks me which boy I like, I come out when the cashier at the grocery
my high school to come out publicly. No one saw it coming. I could
store wants to know what the rainbow on my shirt means, I come
barely answer a math question without stuttering, let alone tell the
out when someone says "That's so gay;' and I pull them over and say,
whole world that I'm a lesbian. Once I came out, I quickly went from
"Hey, I'm so gay, so knock it off." Coming out never ends, but I've
the Shy Girl to the Gay Girl, and bullies had a lot more ammunition
realized that my identity isn't something to be ashamed of, and that's
with my new title. The first few weeks after I came out, I couldn't
made all the difference.
ping myself in the face because I wanted to be straight, and finally to
take one step without people I didn't even know whispering "faggot"
to me on the way to class every day, and the Populars giving me
When was your light bulb moment for the Validation Project?
burning stares when I changed for gym, as if I was checking them
I've always noticed that my friends and my generation as a whole
out. But then something changed. A cheerleader confessed she had
have incredible, raw dreams. But as soon as we begin to reach for
two moms, and a teacher told me her son had a boyfriend. Some
them, people put us down. One weekend at a leadership event
of my friends pulled me over in class and came out to me. My story
for USY,I watched this video by Kurt Kuenne called Validation. It's
gave people a reason to speak up, and the bullying I faced turned
about this parking attendant who not only validates people's parking
46
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
OUT PROFILE
tickets, but also themselves. The 15-minute video proves the positive
that your identity is something to be proud of. Next, start with the
transformation that validation causes. Before I watched it, I never had
safe people. They'll be your backup when you face the not-so-safe
a name for what my passion is. Afterward, I started thinking about
ones. When you start coming out to other people, make sure you
how validation could get people to hold on to their dreams and
don't act like it's something negative. For everyone you come out to,
pursue them. I went home one day after school and Googled how to
don't sit them down and hold their hand-just tell it like it is. People
make a website. Six hours later, the Validation Project was launched.
will mirror whatever your emotions are when you come out, so you
have to be strong. There is no perfect time to come out. You'll know
How has it changed your life?
in your gut when you're ready. If you need some more advice, chat
I am living the dream. Leading more than 5,000 young people across
me up! We lesbians gotta stick together!
the globe in pursuing their passions and finding their pride has
taught me how to find my own, and hang on to it. Traveling around
Name two inspirational figures.
and telling people to go out there and take risks is what gave me the
I bow down to Ellen DeGeneres, and if you play "Can't Hold Us" by
courage to come out.
Macklemore I will hardcore jam.•
You're young, so in five years' time where do you see yourself?
I hope I've broken the LGBTcoming out barrier by igniting a fire in my
generation to see identity as a celebration, not a confession. I also
hope the Validation Project has a real office, instead of my kitchen
table, even though working from home is a pretty sweet gig!
Do you have time for a girlfriend?
I have a girlfriend and she lives in Chicago. So far, we're proving
the long-distance relationship reputation wrong-besides
every
social media platform possible, we also write to each other nonstop
through snail mail.
GET INVOLVED WITH THE
VALIDATION PROJECT!
18 or under: Apply to be a
Over 18: Be a mentor. All skills
Validator. You'll get partnered
are needed.
with a mentor according to
Follow the Validation Project
what your passion is, and
on Twitter @TheValidate, on
find incredible volunteering
Facebook, and on lnstagram
opportunities. You can join a
@TheValidationProject, the-
Validation Project chapter-or
validationproject.tumblr.com.
even start one.
(thevalidationproject.com)
Advice for young lesbians struggling with coming out?
Do it! Come out. The first step is coming out to yourself and realizing
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
47
OUT PROFILE
THE
RANSGRESSOR
Butch blog founder and philanthropist Susan Herr
builds and crosses bridges using masculine fashion.
BY MELANIE BARKER
T
he dapper and articulate Susan Herr
was a high school English teacher
in San Antonio, Texas, when she
discovered her sexuality. "I fell in love
with the teacher across the hall, and
after some coaxing she loved me back. It was
a revelation," says Herr. But it was also Texas, it
was 1980, and Herr, at that time a born-again
Christian, found those new feelings profoundly
disturbing. Thirty years later, however, Herr lives
a happy and queer life in vibrant Brooklyn with
her "fierce femme wife."
But Susan Herr has never forgotten her Southern roots, and
indeed her coming out was facilitated by stories of lesbian pioneers
who were marginal to the mainstream culture. "Love songs by and
for women? They blew my mind," says Herr.
She, like her community, has evolved, but over the past 10 years,
in spite of the visibility of lesbian culture, she has seen a schism
develop between her generation of queers and the next. "It's what
I call a 'transgenderational divide.' The result? These connections
aren't naturally occurring. It's a tragedy because we so need and
can learn from one another. It occurred to me that fashion might
be a neutral convening ground upon which old dykes and younger
genderqueers could start building relationships-not
by process-
ing, but by learning to tie bow ties together." Herr launched the
blog dapperQ five years ago to "create connections between all
those who transgress men's fashion and those who are delighted or
inspired by us."
While butch biogs and tomboy fashion seem commonplace now,
dapperQ was one of the first biogs to capture and share fashion
trends emerging among the unconventionally masculine. Ideology
aside, says Herr, "dapperQ's editor-in-chief, Anita Dolce Vita-my
younger partner in crime-taught
me that what our readers really
wanted was great fashion. She's done a brilliant job of delivering
that and diversifying our readership so that it reflects the reality of
this movement. Alas, we haven't had much luck engaging the 40plus crowd, but we keep trying."
Lesbians coming out might be nothing new these days, but Herr
believes that acceptance of gender diversity has a long way to gofor example, coming out as trans or genderqueer is still not widely
accepted, even by our own community. "Joe the Plumber is finally
wrapping his head around the fact that we have the right to marry.
Now, we've got a chance to show the world that we don't all have
to fit the boy-girl box either. I see fashion as an important element
of this next phase because, while Joe may not like what I wear, it's
clear that I do it with intentionality and panache." (dapperq.com) •
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
49
I 1111~
~ YOURSELF
THE IMAGE
MAKER
LGBT TV icon Ilene Chaiken on her latest projects.
BY DANA PICCOLI
w
hen The L Word debuted on
Showtime a decade ago, the
sexy, sumptuous, and controversial show certainly made
an impression, forever changing the landscape of lesbian representation
on television. In 2004, when its creator, writer,
and producer, Ilene Chaiken, brought the lives
and loves of lesbian and bisexual women into
mainstream popular culture, there wasn't much
in terms of lesbian representation, and it was
something the queer community was hungry
for. The L Word changed all that. "The power of
representation is in seeing ourselves in stories
and in roles in which our orientation is incidental, but not ignored," Chaiken tells Curve. "All the
details are there, it's real, it feels like us, and yet
it's not about the fact that we're gay. It's about
the fact that gay people are everywhere and
doing everything."
J
made all of these tremendous gains. We are all kind of astounded
by the change that has taken place in the last two years. A lot of
us-that
is, the people I encounter every day, and also the world at
large-are saying, 'Wow, you've won! You're done, right?' We know
perfectly well that that's not the case. Not only do we not have
No one ever said that being in the vanguard would be easy. Every
full equality, obviously, but even as the laws change, experience
show runner deals with criticism from time to time, and some of
doesn't change for a lot of people, and there are still a great many
Chaiken's strongest critics came from within the lesbian commu-
places in this country and in the world where people face a lot of
nity. Yet, it's something that Chaiken takes graciously in stride. "I
hardship for the fact of being gay. I felt like it was time to tell that
take it as a great compliment that, firstly, people felt so passionate
other story, and important to also reflect that other gay American
about it that they got angry and upset and raged at me." She still
experience."
gets a lot of grief for sending a particular character to the big
Since quite a few successful actors and musicians-notably,
tennis court in the sky, but even more than that, The L Word spoke
Ellen Page, Emily Rios, and Sam Smith-have
deeply to fans on many levels. "I came to understand, early on, that
Curve asked Chaiken for her thoughts on the importance of being
come out recently,
The L Word was going to be so personal to so many gay women
out in celebrity culture. "Representation is important, role models
because our stories hadn't been told, and everyone was going to
are important, and it's important to know that the culture is pro-
expect to be represented, and everyone was going to have her own
gressing in a way that makes it possible for people who wouldn't
very personal expectations and put them all over the show. It's very
have been able to come out in another time to be out-to
telling and also really flattering and honoring to be regarded as so
and to honor it. Yes, I think it's important, and I think it's personal.
essential."
I've always thought it was a personal choice."
With The Real L Word, Chaiken's drive to tell the stories of lesbian
and bisexual women found a life in reality television. Most recently,
own it
This year, Ilene Chaiken has stepped into an exciting new role as
show runner for the soon-to-premiere Fox show Empire, which was
and once again in partnership with Showtime, Chaiken presented
created and written by Lee Daniels and Danny Strong. Empire is a
the documentary L Word Mississippi: Hate the Sin. Very different in
family drama about a hip-hop mogul (played by Terrence Howard)
tone and emotional reach from its predecessors, L Word Mississippi
and his sons, one of whom is gay. No doubt, Chaiken will bring her
is a stark reminder that while the LGBT community has made
special touch to this very promising show.
major strides in recent years, there are still many gay Americans
Ilene Chaiken has moved on to other projects, but we couldn't
for whom the struggle continues. Chaiken explains, "When I first
help wondering what Bette, Tina, Alice, and the rest of the L Word
proposed to Showtime that we tell this story, my premise was that
crew would be up to nowadays. Chaiken is curious, too. "I'd love
this story can be told all over the country. New York, L.A., and a few
to know what the old gang is doing, and rather than speculating
other places are the exception rather than the rule. We're in a time,
about it, I'm thinking that there's just some universe in which we
a moment in history, certainly in gay rights history, where we've
should be able to find out."•
50
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
had intended to apply to the
Peace Corps in 2003, when
I graduated geography at
Humboldt State University in
Arcata, Cali£ But the momentum of life took over and I found myself
back in my home state of Maine. I worked
in group homes, first as an advocate for
teenagers and queer youth, then with
Alzheimer's patients, as an elder advocate.
To augment my income, I taught belly
dancing to adults and English as a foreign
language to international students, and I
was also involved in local politics. I had
been interested in the Peace Corps from
a young age and grew up exploring stacks
of National Geographic magazines. After I
traveled to Indonesia and studied in India,
my parents knew I would end up living in
those pages. I finally filled out the online
application and drove to Boston for an interview. A program I participated in as an
undergrad, serving Hmong, Mien, and Lao
refugee families in Northern Californiaqualified me as a nongovernmental
organization specialist in the Community
and Economic Development sector of the
Peace Corps.
When I received my invitation to serve
as a Peace Corps volunteer in Armenia,
all I knew of the country was Armenian
music from my belly dancing experience
and the history of the 1915 genocide (the
band System of a Down had raised my
awareness). I went in armed with my New
England work ethic and stubbornnessand enough Equal Exchange chocolate to
last two years. Little did I know the lasting
impact that this tiny, post-Soviet, primarily
agrarian nation would have on my life, and
how it would alter my perceptions and
my queer identity. In mid-coast Maine, I
had relative political freedom as a queer
person, but a level of expression of my
queer identity was missing at that point in
my life, and I knew going into the Peace
Corps that I would need to internalize
my queer identity even more. For safety
and acceptance, on a case-by-case basis,
I would need to make some hard choices
about how honest I'd be.
For two years, my post was Goris (pop.
15,000), in Syunik Marz, four hours
north of Iran, in a beautiful valley in the
Caucasus Mountains. I was assigned to the
Goris Women's Resource Center, initially
funded by the Organization for Security
and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE). My
I
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closest counterparts,
the board of directors,
consisted of nine
dedicated Armenian
women aged 30 to 60.
I was 32.
Armenian society
has strictly defined
gender roles. Women
who seek freedom,
travel, expression, and
education outside their established roles
are often seen as trouble, undesirable, a
threat to tradition and a destabilizing
force in their families. This resource center-a space run by and in the service of
women-in rural Armenia was in itself a
revolutionary act. The women who started
this center, visionaries in their community
and on the cutting edge of human rights
work in Armenia, do not shy away from
tough advocacy issues. In their first two
years, I helped them build organizational
capacity, and membership grew from just
nine women to over 200. Through sheer
grit, we connected women to educational
and economic opportunities in Armenia
and abroad, built a micro-finance artisan
project, created a small research library
and computer lab, held health workshops,
hosted domestic violence awareness and
outreach services, and participated in civic
engagement initiatives, including election
monitoring and anti-corruption programs ..._____
Several Peace Corps volunteers offered
their time and expertise at this center, and
it became a hub of activity in the region.
These women stuck with it year after year,
and opened my eyes to the magic that is
happening in a mostly forgotten little fold
of the world.
I didn't come out in my community,
though I tried to once, to one of my
closest counterparts. We were working
late on a grant proposal, and I received an
email from an old college friend who had
recently transitioned. My friend shared his
new name with me and I cried a bit. I explained my tears to my colleague and how
my friend had transitioned from F to M.
It was a lot for her. She'd heard of it, but
only as a faraway idea-not as a reality in
a friend's life. I wanted to come out to her
then. We had been friends for over a year. I
knew her family, her ambitions and fears.
_
FEATURES/
I felt like a fraud. I hit a heteronormative
wall as I weighed the possible consequences. I had heard of a PCV in neighboring
Azerbaijan who had decided to come out
to her service community. I was impressed,
but I had invested so much and been
through so many defeats and victories,
both personally and with our programming goals, that I wasn't ready to take on
an unknown wave of reactions from a very
large group of women in my small town.
They are modern women, and they can
learn, adapt, and change like any of us.
Sometimes, I feel I was cowardly; other
times, I feel it was a simple, logical choice
in a seemingly impossible situation.
A sweet surprise in the Peace Corps
was connecting with others dedicated to
international and sustainable development, from the U.S. Embassy, the U.S.
Agency for International Development,
the U.N., and the OSCE in the capital
city, Yerevan. It was there that I and other
LGBTQ volunteers met the local queer
community. I was out to Peace Corps staff,
my fellow Peace Corps volunteers, and the
local urban queers. But in my post, Goris,
I was closeted, which is often the case for
Peace Corps volunteers serving in regions
where sexual and gender minorities are
not supported or socially understood. On
the books, homosexuality became legal in
Armenia around 2007. But there were still
hate crimes, including those targeting local
LGBTQ citizens in the capital. During
my service in 2010, a local butch lesbian,
who many of us knew, was beaten up by
local extremists. They called her a man,
spat on her, and punched her until the
cops came. In Armenia, there is a repeated
soul- and flesh-bruising trajectory of
progress toward equal rights for LGBTQ
people; Armenians who choose this fight
knowingly put themselves at great risk in
a society that many say is "not ready" for
them. In the face of such daunting odds,
they are making progress.
In Yerevan, I was
fortunate to meet a
network of academics,
artists, and activists
connected to Women's
Resource Center
Armenia. I met local
LGBTQ advocates,
who collaborated with
me to teach tolerance
initiatives at the growing Goris Women's
Resource Center.
Despite Armenia's
rich intellectual and
feminist heritage, the
work is dangerous. A
meet-up in Yerevan
called DIY, a lesbianand gay-owned artists
bar, was bombed by
political extremists in
2012. (The bombing
occurred after-hours;
thankfully, no one was hurt.)
A few advocates worked for Public
Information and Need of Knowledge
(PINK), a nonprofit dedicated to equal
human rights for LGBTQ citizens in
Armenia and the Caucasus region (including Turkey, Georgia, Azerbaijan, and
Russia). These advocates, and my daily
Peace Corps life, opened my eyes to reality
for LGBTQ Armenians.
There came a point of realization for me
when I met a girl of about 11 in a small
village who I believed to be a lesbian. I
realized that coming out to her could badly
backfire. At the very least, she might think
I was odd; but it could be much worse.
Maybe our conversation would send her
down a path of confusion and sadness;
maybe it would lead to rejection by her
family; maybe even suicide. Being a social
outcast in a small village is not a fate to
I TRIE
wish on anyone. Holding that kind of ethical responsibility in a human interaction
is an intensive burden. Choosing to walk
away knowing that someone is in need of
support, choosing to walk away because
that might actually be the most supportive
thing, is mind-bending and devastating.
Imagine you are born lesbian in a tiny rural
Armenian village-no queer community,
no familial acknowledgment, and often
no personal understanding of your sexual
identity. No one to compare experiences
with. No space in which to open up a
dialogue. No economic mobility to move
to the city. Your fate is marriage, children,
home-the organizing pillars of traditional life. Or maybe your fate is living with
your parents and extended family, never
to find a partner or be understood in an
authentic way. Of course, some LGBTQ
people in Armenia realize why they feel
different and move to the capital or even
out of the country. But for others, the story
is all too familiar: leading double lives, falling prey to shadow economies or suicide.
Reflecting on these experiences led me
to new caverns of thought. It twisted my
own queer identity. My priorities shifted.
The reality of desperation and the silencing
of souls en masse shook my core. I gained
a firsthand understanding that what I was
seeing in Armenia is happening in so many
nations: Gender outlaws, queer academics,
and activist bloggers are trying to push
their nations forward while the weight of
tradition and social norms embedded in
our globe's elder cultures are holding firm.
Returning to my American queer
"family" has not been a smooth transition.
My voice in the community does not feel
the same, or come through as easily. I feel
awkward now, in the land of sound bites. It
is not so simple to encapsulate painful and
complex realities. If I say I see a sense of
privilege in the queer politics in the U.S.,
it is perceived as criticism. But what I am
able to see now are the very real opportunities embedded within that privilege. If
we don't take these privileges and do all
we can with them, when so many others
do not have that access, then we are taking
something very precious for granted.
I picked up some queer wisdom in
those dusty hills, with their shifting moon
shadows and frozen silence. I am a more
mindful human for having embraced this
path and for carrying these stories with me.
(peacecorps.gov / samesexcouples) •
OCTOBER
2014
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t's like the set~up for a lesbian ro~
mance: Two lesbian photographers
living on different coasts meet on
the image~sharing website Flickr,
fall for each other's work, then for
each other's profile photos; they
email, flirt harmlessly, but never make plans
to meet. Fast forward two years later when
they bump into each other again online.
Will they finally connect for real and dis~
appear into the sunset together like one of
their beautiful photographs ...?
"Our first actual in~person meeting was
at a gas station in Deerfield, MA.;' says Hei~
di Margocsy. "I pulled into the parking lot,
got out of my car to hug Tara and knew that
in some crazy, wonderful, ridiculous way my
life was about to change:'
"That makes it sound like I take girls to
gas stations for dates!" interjects Tara Bax~
ter. "For the record, we did leave the gas sta~
tion to go have drinks:'
After seven months of long~distance dat~
ing, it was time to make a decision: East or
West. "The West won;' says Margocsy "and
we packed up all of my stuff into a-you
guessed it-U~Haul
and made the jour~
ney cross country. We made it to Petaluma,
California in Februarv 2008. We officiallv
56
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began our business in the spring of 2008 af~
ter many discussions. We had some simple
business cards printed up with our portrait
work, made a bunch to hand out at Sonoma
Pride and we were on our way..:'
The inspiration for In Her Image Pho~
tography came from a friend Baxter had
photographed. 'J\fter she saw the photos,
she said to me, 'Thank you for making me
feel beautiful: I immediately imagined that
there would be a need for women to have
at least one great photo of themselves. This
was when Facebook was still just for college
kids, and Glamour Shots was so obviously
popped~collars and feather boas. I wanted
to be the anti~Glamour Shots:'
In Her Image Photography's original
tagline was a rather earnest "self-esteem
portraits for women;' and originally Baxter
envisaged it as a non~profit service or a book
about body image."! had an underlying goal
of counteracting all the negative imagery of
women with empowering images;' she says.
That mission has now produced a full~time
business that sustains two people.
"Our friends and colleagues were shocked
to hear that we only planned on photo~
graphing women. Not weddings, engage~
ments, pets-iust women:' savs Mar2:ocsv.
'J\t the time we began our business, Prop.
8 was still in effect. We didn't feel comfortable participating in an industry that didn't
legally include, recognize or validate us. In
order to 'stand out' in our industry, choosing
a very specific niche has proven to be a savvy
choice for us:'
While both women are photographers,
Margocsy describes Baxter as the project's
"visionary; a sweet, and sometimes quiet
tattooed Oakland native who'll disarm your
nerves in front of the lens:' She describes
herself as "the implementer; a passionate,
slightly bossy Australian who'll stop at nothing to get amazing images of you. It works:'
They are self taught and intuitive photographers whose professional edge has been
honed through years of practice, although
Baxter has had a camera in her pocket since
the age of seven.'J\fter hearing Annie Leibovitz speak about her craft at Stanford, I admired the fact that she admitted she wasn't
a 'technical photographer: You could have
the most fancy oven with all the bells and
whistles, but it won't make you an amazing
che£ You need experience, creativity and intuition to create something credible:'
"Our aesthetic shifts with every client because every client is different. We approach
every session with one goal: How can we
capture some beautiful and amazing images of this woman in a way that truly allows
her to be represented authentically in this
world?" says Margocsy.
"First and foremost, we want women to
feel beautiful-no
matter their age, color,
shape, size or where they fall on the gender
spectrum, be they butch, femme, or in between;' adds Baxter.''We want to reflect their
beauty back to them and in the long-term,
redefine society's beauty standard. Photographing lesbians is important to us because
we want to help document our community
and be a part of increasing our visibility:'
One shoot that demonstrates the importance of their image making is that involving
a young family. "Two amazing women, Jodi
and Timaree, and their sweet little baby boy
Caemon. It was our first session where we
were able to capture a lesbian family. Up
until that point, we had only photographed
couples, and gay women by themselves for
sessions;' says Margocsy. "It felt amazing to
share those images on our social media pages. We knew that there would be people out
there viewing the images that would recognize that lesbian parents are, quite obviously, no different from heterosexual parents.
They both love and cherish their children
equally. Love, really is, love:'
Two years after that session, In Her
Image photographed the family again, as
a 40th birthday gift to Jodi from Timaree.
But shortly after that session, Caemon was
diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and
in early 2013 passed away after battling
the disease. "To have captured this beautiful family's spirit was of course, something
we were hired to do. But it was never really a job;' says Margocsy. 'J\nd looking back,
knowing that the images of their family will
be a part of this little boy's legacy forever,
well, it's a true honor. Sometimes, it's about
more than beautiful portraits. Sometimes
it's about capturing a small piece of someone's story in a way that honors them, today,
tomorrow and for decades to come:'
While home is a one-acre "farmlet" in
California, with a menagerie of pugs and
rabbits, Baxter and Margocsy, who are
vegan, go out of their way-literally-for
clients, traveling cross country for shoots.
Their gratitude for love and life drives them,
as expressed by the "Thank You" tattoo each
bears. (inherima2:eohoto.com) •
OCTOBER
2014
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Linda Perry brings her commanding talent to the task of discovering new stars.
BY KELLY MCCARTNEY
58
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2014
FEATURES!COV
OCTOBER
2014
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59
Linda Perry doesn't give a fuck. Actually, she does. She gives a fuck about a lot of things, but what
other people think isn't one of them. An artistic powerhouse and Renaissance woman, Perry exploded onto the scene 25 years ago as the front woman for 4 Non Blondes. Their iconic "What's
Up?" was the first of Perry's many hits. As a songwriter and producer, she has worked with Christina
Aguilera, P!nk, Gwen Stefani, Alicia Keys, Britney Spears, and just about every other contemporary
pop artist worth listening to. So, yeah, Linda Perry gives a fuck. But what she cares about is musicthe people who make music, the people who listen to music-and that propelled her into a new
reality TV show on VH1, Make or Break: The Linda Perry Project.
60
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2014
FEATUREStCOV
:i:
>
She saw, in the music world, a generation of artists coming up
who don't get it. They think that being an artist means winning a
show rather than writing a song. "They don't really know that music
comes from life experiences-that you pick up a guitar and you find
your way through it. You discover who you are, you find your emo~
tions through it. You find your weaknesses through it, your strength;
you find your voice, and you start creating the person that you want
to be. That, to me, is not being voiced;' Perry explains.
So she's voicing it on Make or Break, and, as is always the case
with Perry, she says what she means and she means what
she says. Along the way, Perry does not suffer fools-not a single
one."What you're seeing is just how I am in the studio, always;' she
says.'Tm talking to a group of people who don't know that there are
other ways besides curtains rising and judges judging and singers
singing other people's songs. What I see and hear is people basically
singing exactly like the demo of the singer that the producer put on
the track. They're not putting their twist on it. Their twist is their
outfit. It's not their heart and passion on the line:'
Unlike those other talent competition shows, Make or Break
is about artistic development, it's about finding a diamond in the
rough and shining it up. But, these days, people aren't used to that
approach. When Perry kicked the obviously talented Noah off the
show, she heard a lot of grousing and grumbling about it. Guess
what? She didn't give a fuck "That's the whole point," she emphasizes.
'Tm going to get rid of what you're used to and I'm going to bring in
something better-something you should listen to, something you
should aspire to. I'm going to raise the fucking bar in this show:' As
a producer, Perry's role is to bring out the best in her artists, to help
them define and achieve their vision. It's a process, and one that a
lot of people don't have the patience for, or the understanding to ap~
preciate. "Everybody is just looking for the fast track And it doesn't
work that way;' she says.''.Andif it does, it's only temporary. That's it.
It's a Band~Aid. It's going to fall off.'
OCTOBER
2014
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Perry knows what she is looking for in an artist: "You have
to have a dream. You have to have drive. You have to have heart,
passion. And you have to have talent. But, honestly, talent is just a
small part of it. All the other stuff is actually far more important:'
One of the bands on Make or Breakis a trio oflesbians called
Hunter Valentine; they have been part of the LGBT scene, and on
some notable tours, for the past 10 years."! don't like their name. I
don't even like their music, to be honest. But I like them. And they
have so much heart, because what has gotten them from here to
there has been their drive, not their music. There's no way;' Perry
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CURVE
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2014
cautions. "Going and playing the White Party at fucking Dinah
Shore Weekend, with a bunch of drunk lesbians rushing the stage,
is not success. That doesn't mean you're great. That just means those
lesbians are drunk and you guys are cute, you're dykes, and there's
nothing else out there. But to me, there's something bigger brewing
in them:'
Whatever and wherever that "something bigger" is, Perry will find
it. That's what she does. That's who she is-impervious to failure,
an indomitable force to be reckoned with. Even an old boys' club
industry known for its sexism has failed to hold her back. Why:'
FEATUREStCOV
E'SA BUNCH
OFFUCKING
F-NAKED
SINGING
A BUNCH
J THEWOMEN
OFTHE
THEY'RE
THINKING,
BUTI
KING
HEADS
OUTOFTHEIR
RTGETTING
BACK
TOWHEN
TUALLY
SAYING
SOMETHING.
NGTOSEE."
:i:
>
How?"Maybe it's because I don't give a fuck. Maybe too many peo~
ple focus on who they are and what people perceive of them. And
maybe I just don't care;' Perry muses."So maybe people are holding
me back in some way-or have tried-and I just don't see it because
I'm blind to that kind of negativity. I just don't care, because that
kind of way doesn't deserve any kind of energy given to it. And I
think some of the problem has always been that people give way too
much energy and power to ignorance. That's why it sustains:'
Being one of the few female producer/ engineers in a heavily
male~dominated world is just the way it is to Perry. She's doing what
she does, unconcerned with what other women are-or aren'tdoing with their lives:''.AllI know is that there's a bunch of fucking
women running around half~naked singing a bunch of crap. I don't
know what the women of the world are up to and what they're
thinking, but I wish they'd get their fucking heads out of their fuck~
ing assholes and start getting back to when women were strong and
actually saying something. That would be a nice thing to see:'
But that's not a fight Perry's interested in. She picks her battles,
because she understands what's at stake in the winning and the
losing. When it comes to marriage equality, even though she wedded
Sara Gilbert earlier this year, Perry wants the battle lines to be
drawn more clearly: "What, exactly,are we fighting for? To have a
piece of paper that says we're married, just like allthe other straight~
ies out there-who end up in divorce, who beat their wives, who
murder their husbands, who abandon their children? Is that what
we're fighting for? Or are we fighting for something greater? Do we
want to be the average straight American Christian? No. I don't. I
love being different:'
She continues, "Now, we're constantly fighting for many things.
We're fighting to keep kids in school. We're fighting to feed starving
children. We're fighting to stop rape. We're fighting HIV. We're
fighting to keep this planet alive. So which one is greater-the fight
to get married or the fight to be alive and stay alive on this planet?
I'm not saying anything negative. I'm just saying, 'Think about the
fight:" (lindaperry.com) •
OCTOBER
2014
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I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
ELECTRONICDUO
UH HUH HERTAKE
THEIR UNIQUE
BRAND OF DANCEPOP TO THE MASSES,
TOURING WITH A
NEW RECORD.
BY JANELLE SORENSON
AND MELANY JOY BECK
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2014
amila Grey and Leisha Hailey flop down onto a broken
couch above the Triple Rock
Social Club in Minneapolis.
The two have recently hit the
road in support of their third
full-length
album,
Future
Souls, and they can't wait to get
your body on the dance floor.
'Tm excited to play all the new music;'
Hailey says.
Instead of a traditional opening act, Grey
and Hailey have enlisted Brooklyn DJ Kim
Anh to support them on tour, a move they
attribute to their desire to create an atmosphere more in line with the trance-like
house party vibe of the album. "I always say
that it's pop music on Nyquil;' says Grey
about Future Souls. "They normally call it
'shoe gaze' or 'dark wave; but when I listen to
our music I feel like I'm in a pop haze. Its
like sedated indie pop:'
"We set out to make a dance record;'
says Hailey. "That was our intent:'
"Much like we did with Common Reaction [their first full-length album], we
were inspired by dance music and what
was going on then. It wasn't as popular as
it is now, and we wanted to go back to that
style-beats, not a lot of live drums. Our
last album was really rock, and we were,
like, 'Let's get away from that: Even though
the guitars always seep in;' Grey says. "I
would do a lot of analog synths and synths
you can buy online, so it would force us
into that direction:'
"I learned a lot about that too;' says
Hailey, buttoning her denim vest. "It was
fun because we could work at different
times. If Cam stayed up later than me, or
if I got up before her, we could go into the
studio and hear what the other one did
and play with it:'
Taking full advantage of a home studio,
the two found new ways to make music.
"Yeah, Leisha was learning how to program drums and this cool RMX plug-in
and stuff. Really going for that sound:'
"Cam will always keep it deep, and I will
try to do the little happy things;' says Hailey. "Not happy things, but the little moments and things. I do the little moments:'
"You add little moments?" asks Grey,
laughing. The two admit that without each
other they might have quit making music
long ago. "I have moments where I want to
go be a gardener:'
Grey and Hailey worked on Future Souls
the same way they tackled the
release of 2011's Nocturnes,
independent
of majodabel
F S
support and relying primarily on their own small team of
people. They acknowledge that
being a true indie band has its
pros and cons. "I like having
structure, so for this we had
to structure ourselves, because
we didn't have The Man saying,
'Hey, get this done: We had to
really set our own schedules.
That's what's hard for me as an
indie musician, because it usu-
66
CURVE
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2014
u tjJ
TU
U L
RS
E
ally takes teams to get that stuff going and
it was just us and, like, four other people;'
Grey says.
"Nocturnes was our learning curve-we
knew what we did wrong that time and
what we needed to do better;' says Hailey.
"There's good and bad sides to everything:'
Setting off on their biggest tour to date
in support of Future Souls, the band is
booked into cities that they've missed on
previous tours. The length of the tour, as
well as the stops in new places, provide
them with the opportunity to reach fans
who haven't seen Uh Huh Her live before.
This includes stops at all-age venues, giving underage fans a unique opportunity to
catch their show.
The long-distance driving, hotel beds,
and sketchy road food are all hazards of
such a journey, but Uh Huh Her welcomes the opportunity to connect with
fans. "I love seeing the weather, the seasonal change. Also, I like meeting people.
It reminds you that we live in a bubble in
L.A., and it's nice to get out and see the
rest of America;' Grey says.
Hailey agrees. "It gets you out of your
daily routine, where it's summer every
single day:'
The plan for this tour is to play through
most, if not all, of the songs on Future
Souls. Though Grey aptly describes the record as sedated, it's also a sexy, beat-driven
ride through hazy electro-pop, with memorable hooks and dance-inducing rhythm.
The pair's real-life love may have something to do with what's sexy about it.
'Tm really close to the songs I wrote
called 'Bullet' and 'Strange Design: Those
are my two babies;' Grey says.
"I would say that my two biggest ones
are 'Strange Design' and the lyrics of'Nuthin Without Your Love;" says Hailey.
Looking back on the years since the
band's inception in 2007, Hailey admits, "I
think a lot of bands would have packed it
in, going through what weve gone through:'
They credit the band's loyal fans for
sticking by them and inspiring Future
Souls. 'Tm proud that we can release an
album and it can still make a splash;' Grey
says."lt can still chart, with no help or promotions. Our fans are a giant testament
to that. You can't put a monetary figure
on that. If they weren't there, we literally
couldn't do anything. They keep us floating around as a band. I love that-and
I
can't think a lot of bands have it:'
Despite the challenges of being truly independent, and all the weeks on the road,
there's a huge payback when Grey and
Hailey get on stage. "There's the moment
where you're playing a live
show and you look into the
audience and everyone is happy. That is the time that it feels
great, and the rest just leads
up to that. It's the tiniest bit of
appreciation that keeps people
like us going;' Grey says.
It's obvious by the smiling faces of the fans at this
nearly sold-out show that
this band is more than appreciated. At this club-and
on this tour-they
are loved.
( uhhuhher.com) •
•
~
MY EUROPEAN
ADVENTURE.
BY FLETCHERDELANCEY
the
email began, "I just finished reading your Past
Imperfect story ... " It was
February 2005 and I was
leading a double life. To my family,
friends, and coworkers, I appeared to be a
happily married straight American woman with a nice little house and a great job.
To my readers online, I was the author of a
successful fanfic book series based on Star
Trek: Voyager, with original characters and
a decidedly lesbian take on the franchise.
My online life was going great. My real
one was silently coming apart as I began
to accept that writing lesbian fiction was
not really the creative outlet I'd told myself
it was. It was an outlet, period, because I
had no other safe way of processing these
feelings.
And then came this email from a reader
in Portugal. Maria was intelligent, funny,
articulate, and well-read, not to mention
a geeky science-type like me. We became
instant pen-pal friends, and our correspondence covered everything from art
to politics to who was hotter, Katharine
Hepburn or Greta Garbo. (Katharine.)
Oh, and sexuality. We talked about sexuality quite a bit, because Maria lived 5,000
miles away and was therefore the safest
person in the world to talk to. There wasn't
a chance I'd ever meet her, so I felt free to
tell her everything. And she understood.
As it turned out, she had also been happily
married-and
had a young son from that
union-but eventually realized that she was
gay. Now she was sharing custody with her
ex and living a whole new life.
I had so many questions.
Of course it didn't take long before my
questions became rather personal. She
answered those, too. Over the course of
daily emails and the most raw honesty I'd
ever experienced in a relationship, friendly
or otherwise, I realized that I was falling
in love with a woman I'd never met. And
since I was already lying by omission every
day in my real life, I couldn't handle lying
by omission to my online friend as well. So
I wrote her an email that made my hands
sweat, and then I shed years off my life
waiting for her answer.
It came in 20 minutes flat, and the first
words were "Thank God:' She had been
trying to figure out how to ask me the
same thing.
That was May 2005, when I blew my
double life apart. I told my husband every~
thing, and arranged to meet the woman I'd
thought was so safe and unreachable. We
first saw each other in Lisbon Airport, and
by the end of the day I no longer had the
slightest doubt about my sexuality. I was
really, truly in love for the first time, and it
wasn't with my husband.
Two weeks later, I flew back home and
confirmed to my waiting husband that yes,
I was definitely a lesbian. Three months af
ter that, our divorce was final. And one year
later, I hugged my parents good~bye and
stepped onto a plane, with a one~way ticket
to Lisbon in my hand.
Portugal surprised me in many ways. I
thought it would be solidly conservative;
after all, that's what my travel guides said,
and everyone knows it's a Catholic nation.
Turns out, it's not. Catholicism is certainly
the most prevalent religion, but since the
197 4 Carnation Revolution gave way to a
brand new national constitution, the wall
between church and state has been quite
solid. In fact, the Portuguese find it very
odd that practically every U.S. politician
making an official speech ends with "God
bless America:' That's simply not done
here. God is in the church, not in the gov~
ernment. Sessions of Parliament would
never open with a prayer.
Something else the constitution forbids:
putting the civil rights of minority citizens
up to a popular vote. It also forbids discrim~
ination based on sexual orientation. And
right after I arrived, Portugal had a national
referendum to legalize abortion. It passed.
I think those travel guides might have
been confused about which nation was the
conservative one.
One thing I instantly adapted to was the
compact design of Portuguese towns and
cities. Suburban sprawl is almost unknown
t;l
I
I
\
\
here, and cities are built on the neighbor~
hood plan. Tiny grocery stores abound, as
do cafes, and you never have to walk far to
find a post office, a bakery, a bank, or any~
thing else you might need. And people do
walk, because parking is such a pain in the
butt (thanks to streets that were laid out
in the horse~and~cart days), so pedestrians
reign supreme. The outrageously expen~
sive gas means that everyone drives small
cars. When I go back to the U.S. for visits,
I'm invariably shocked by the total lack of
pedestrians, and the gigantic vehicles that
wouldn't even be able to enter some of the
streets here. And the acres and acres of park~
ing lots. Land is at a premium in Portugal, so
parking lots are built underground. I think
that ought to be a global requirement.
But I still love going back, because one
thing Portugal (and western Europe in gen~
eral) lacks is wilderness. I'm a western worn~
an; I grew up in sight of mountains with
permanent snowcaps, and hiking trails that
go for days without any signs of human hab~
itation. You'd have to drive a very long way to
find that here.
Also, I desperately miss Mexican food.
I entered Portugal on a one~year stu~
dent visa, the only legal means by which we
could share our lives. For three more years, I
dreaded those visa renewals, which required
reams of paperwork, a different process ev~
ery year, and no guarantee that this wouldn't
be the year some bureaucrat said, "Waaiiit
a minute .. :' There is no stress quite like
the stress of knowing that your family and
home can be taken away from you with the
simple stroke of a pen.
It's hard to remember how bad that was,
because everything is so different now. Our
whole world changed in just a few years.
Maria was active in Portugal's oldest
and largest LGBT association, which was
working very hard to gain equal marriage
rights and making impressive progress.
Neighboring Spain had already legalized
same~sex marriage in 2005, which set the
precedent in southern Europe. The Neth~
erlands and Belgium were of course the
first ones out of the blocks (in 2001 and
2003, respectively), but it was Spain's pas~
sage that stirred up the politics in Portugal.
A project of law (think "bill" in the U.S.)
was brought to the floor of Parliament for
discussion, a process that takes months,
and things looked hopeful this time. Two
attempts in 2006 had already failed, but
the political winds were blowing differently in 2009-10. Gay rights was getting a lot
of press and public discussion at the time,
and the LGBT association asked us if we'd
be willing to be interviewed by one of Portugal's largest newspapers, with the intent
of putting real names and faces to the issue.
We had a long talk about that. It meant
a very public coming out for Maria, who
is a professor at the University of Algarve.
More than that, it meant exposing our then9-year-old son to the public knowledge that
he had two moms.
But if we wanted our son to live in a
country where his moms were safe and
legally protected, and where his family
couldn't be torn apart with a simple visa
denial, we needed to take some risks. We
agreed to the interview, and sweated bullets waiting to see how it came out.
Our photo was on the front page, and
another photo and our interview took up
the entirety of page four. It was a lot more
visibility than we'd expected. And yet it
made no difference in our day-to-day lives.
Our neighbors didn't suddenly treat us
differently, Maria heard only supportive
words at the university, and our son didn't
get bullied for his odd family. We were as
out as could be, and nobody cared.
Looking back, I think now that we
shouldn't have been surprised. For one thing,
we live in southern Portugal, which is more
liberal than its northern hal£ But more than
that, Portuguese culture is a very family-oriented, very private. The Portuguese consider it rude to stick their noses in somebody
else's personal life, and equally rude to parade their own beliefs. There are no bumper
stickers trumpeting someone's choice of religion, no signs in windows declaring their
political or social beliefs. Whatever people
might believe privately, they were not going to give us the stink eye because we lived
differently. In fact, the only overt personal
prejudice I've ever experienced as an out lesbian came from my own family. It has never
impacted our lives in Portugal.
When my adopted nation legalized
same-sex marriage, in June 2010, we wished
we could get married but ... we already were.
Back in 2008, when Portugal's government had already failed twice to approve
equal marriage rights, we couldn't imagine
that things would turn around so quickly,
and we didn't want to wait. So we married
in the one nation in the entire world that
would allow it-the
one nation that not
only offered equal marriage rights, but had
no citizenship or residency requirements
for the marriage license. That was Canada.
We had an outdoor ceremony in Victoria,
B.C., overlooking the Strait of Juan de
Fuca and the Olympic Mountains. It had
no real legal value at the time, but it meant
everything to us.
One of my best wedding memories occurred here in Portugal, several weeks earlier. I was taking language lessons from a
private tutor, and she was a very proper, very
devout Catholic, with a large portrait of
Mary in her hallway. It was my last lesson
from her before she went on vacation, and
I approached her nervously to ask a favor. I
was getting married to the woman I loved,
I told her, and I wanted to say my vows in
Portuguese. Would she please look them
over and help me correct any mistakes?
She smiled at me and said, "Parabens;'
which means "congratulations;' and then
she told me that God is love, and she could
never understand why anyone would speak
out against love. She read my vows, helped
me fix a few words, and sent me home with
blurry eyes.
Two years after our wedding, Portugal
passed its own law and we were able to
register our Canadian marriage with the
Portuguese government. I immediately
got a residency permit based on the citizenship of my wife, and we breathed easy
for the first time.
Our son is almost 14 years old now, and
barely remembers a time when I wasn't
here. Recently we had a chat in which
I told him that he started out as Maria's
son, then became my stepson, but now I
consider him my own son. He answered
that he considered us both his moms and
gave me a big hug, which is surely the most
important acceptance of all.
These days I'm a full-time writer andeditor, with a novella (Mac vs. PC) published
by Ylva Publishing and The Caphenon, the
first novel in my Chronicles of Alsea science
fiction series, coming out next spring. I'm
still writing fiction about strong, stubborn,
intelligent women-the
kind I'd love to
meet-just as I was back in 2005.
The difference is, now I'm married to one
of them.•
..
FILMMAKERMELISSA HOWDEN FINDS RESPITE
IN AN ARTISTICNEW MEXICO COMMUNITY.
PHOTOGRAPHY
BY PATTIE TRAYNOR
FEATURES/
rtist, writer, filmmaker, and activist Melissa Howden has spent
over two decades working in
politics, culture, education, and
the arts. Currently the associate director of Every Woman's
Leadership at Bioneers, she is
based in Northern California and moves
between there and New Mexico, where
her family roots go back three generations.
Howden owns the vacation rental Casa
Betita, and Curve caught up with her to
discuss the lesbian oasis that is Taos and
the "heart home" she has there.
What initially drew you to Taos? How
did you discover it?
My parents and grandparents were all
born and raised in various parts of New
Mexico and my great-grandparents lived
the majority of their lives in New Mexico. So I have deep roots here. As a child,
I spent most of my summers with my paternal grandmother in Santa Fe. It was always in my mind that one day I would find
an old adobe house to restore. Because I'd
TRA
spent so much time in Santa Fe, I thought
it might be there. However, a family friend
who was born and raised in Taos knew of
my dream and told me about this house. I
had spent time skiing in Taos-and Taos
is more like Santa Fe used to be when I
was young. So, really, in many ways the
house found me.
been home to a number of generations,
and the family was sad to see it go. I felt
the call to be the steward of this home,
with its 100-plus-year-old willow tree in
the front yard. In fact, the house was in
such disrepair that when my brother saw
it he quipped, "You must have bought the
house for the tree:'
How did you settle upon Casa Betita,
and what shape was it in when you
first purchased it?
The house is situated on a half acre in
what is the oldest placita in Taos. It had
been in the same family for over 100 years.
The family matriarch had just died. Because she had such an extended family,
she stipulated in her will that the house
needed to be sold. The house was in grave
disrepair. It had three roofs, none of which
worked. The living room had very old
wood paneling and very dirty old carpeting. The kitchen had several layers of old
vinyl going up the walls. One bedroom
had a dirt floor and a boarded-up window.
All the same, I was aware that this had
What were the challenges, discoveries, and joys of repairing and renovating the house?
I completely restored the house, keeping
all the original 2-foot-thick adobe walls.
Since I had to replace the roo£ at the suggestion of my father, who was 6 foot 5, I
raised the roof a foot. To open up the living
area we removed one wall. My favorite part
of the house is the 10-foot-deep portal on
two sides of the house, which I added. Because I have a small but mighty Jack Russell, I added an 8-foot coyote fence around
the property. The house is close to the Rio
Pueblo, which is a gathering place for coyotes in the evening. Because I love my dog, I
built the fence so she would be safe.
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
77
Honestly, I had no real idea of what it
would take to restore the house, but I could
clearly see what it could be. People who saw
the house in its original state thought I was
crazy. Had I known what it would take,
I might have been scared off, but then I
would not have this beautiful home. So this
was a true case of ignorance is bliss. Really,
there were no nightmares in the renovation.
It was all joyful, a great big art project. I
worked with a wonderful family-a father
and his three sons, who are from Talpa,just
south of Taos. They really know old adobes
and what they need. I designed it and they
did the work, although I did do the stone~
work in the showers. A local craftsman
from just down the road did all the beau~
tiful woodwork-the
cabinets, the front
door, and the custom dining room table.
One of my favorite parts was choosing the
colors of the plaster for the walls. A won~
derful artist who is a lesbian-Jamie Ashcreated all the colors. Going to her studio
and choosing from racks and racks of colors
was divine fun. To honor the history of the
house, I made a table out of one of the old
doors. I used old trastera doors for an in~
wall cabinet topped by an inlay from part
of an old bed frame. When the restoration
was complete, I had a party for the neigh~
borhood and the people who worked on
the house. Several of the daughters of the
woman who had owned the house came to
the party. They gave me their blessing, say~
ing with tears in their eyes that their moth~
er would be so happy that I had the house.
Every year I try to do one more thing on
the yard. Fruit trees one season, a deck an~
other. This year my hollyhocks finally grew.
Aside from a small aspen grove, the front of
the house has not really been changed. The
willow tree is enough for me right now.
When did you decide to make it a
vacation rental?
I lived in the house for the first two years
after I completed it. The combination of a
failed love affair and the lack of work for me
in Taos called me back to the San Francisco
Bay Area. So in order to keep the house I
prepared it as a vacation rental, while work~
ing to maintain it as a home for me when~
ever I am able to be here. I have it listed on
VRBO, HomeAway, and Flipkey/TripAd~
visor. About four years ago, I started rent~
ing it in this way. I have had great people
come to the house and many of them have
returned several times. I feel lucky that all
my guests, with only two exceptions, have
been wonderful and have loved the house
as if it were their own.
Describe Taos' lesbian community.
Taos has been home to lesbians for a long
time. Taos draws women of all orientations
who are independent and unique-think
Mabel Dodge Luhan, Agnes Martin, Geor~
gia O'Keefe, Millicent Rogers, Lady Dor~
othy Brett, and Bea Mandelman, to name
a few. Long before I was here, there were
lesbians out on the mesa building their own
homes, but I don't believe there was much
of an organized community, such as weve
78
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
experienced on the coasts, until recently.
In Taos, if your family has not lived here
for several hundred years, you are always a
newcomer. When I was living in Taos, with
the help of a committee I took on the pro~
duction of a benefit for the Equity Fund of
the Taos Community Foundation, bringing
my old friend Kate Clinton to Taos. We
raised funds to benefit a number of orga~
nizations serving the LGBT community
in Taos. Since then, a PFLAG chapter has
been formed, as well as the Taos Pride or~
ganization.
What are three things women visiting
Taos should experience?
Some of my favorite places are Taos
Pueblo, the Treehouse Bar at Lambert's,
and rafting the Taos Box with Los Rios
River Runners. My friend Mary Domito
and I teamed up to produce Mary Gauthier
in concert over Taos Pride weekend, Au~
gust 14th to 16th this year. I've been pro~
ducing concerts and events for years, Mary
has been producing a number of shows in
Taos, and we have always wanted to work
together. We hope in the coming years to
bring a number of shows to Taos.
STAYATCASA BETITA
Named for Betta, the grandmother
Howden spent her childhood summers
with, Casa Betita is available to rent,
but hurry! The summer months and the
winter holidays book up six months in
advance. (casabetita.com)
FEATURES/
Trip
BEACHES,
BONFIRES
AND
BABES
TRA
O t!
For 25 years,
the Women's
Traveller has
listed women's
clubs, resorts,
cruises, tours &
more, across the
US, Europe &
beyond.
call today for 20% off!
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Find Gurl Scout in iTunes.
415/255-0404
www.damron.com
THE POPULARFALL GETAWAYRETURNSTO
SEASIDE,OREGON. BY MELANIE BARKER
EDEN Pacific Northwest, the 4-day women's festival,
is back on Oregon's North Coast, October 2 - 5, 2014.
This is the second year women and their friends
will gather in Seaside, Oregon for the classic queer
girlfriend getaway in the great outdoors exploring
the Northern Oregon coast. Styled as a relaxing girls'
getaway, EDEN PNW will be about enjoying the beach,
unwinding in the open air and making new friends.
Guests will enjoy live entertainment, music and
comedy including comic Julie Goldman, tea dances,
outdoor excursions such as hiking and clamming, and
hanging out around the beach bonfire sipping wine.
But hurry! The host hotel, the Shilo Inn and Suites
Oceanfront, is booking out fast. (edenpnw.com)
InstantAccessto the
Nation'sTopGay&
LesbianRealtors.
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
79
TLOOKJSTARS
Autumn Outings
We're entering autumn, but there is spring in your step as Venus
in flirtatious Libra and Mars in randy Sagittarius create luscious
opportunities. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Libra (Sept 24-0ct 23)
Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19)
You are the shining center
of attention, Libra. Make the
most of your moment in the
sun by meeting, greeting and
sweeping a certain influential
Girlfriends tempt you with
exotic adventures this October
so take a risk and prepare to
be amazed. Go far afield, seek
exotic stimulation and spicy
entertainment. Aqueerians on
the prowl, expect to meet a
bevy of beauties in some far off
someone off her feet. Have a
great idea that needs a push?
The cosmos gives you the
%
(September 24- %
October 23) %
Libra is a babe magnet. %
%
Blessed with innate charm
%
and sex appeal, her only %
concern is choosing %
among the favored few %
for her favors. She is %
often swayed by a pretty %
face and great bod %
%
(but hey, who wouldn't
%
be ...?) and has a rather %
large sweet tooth for %
decadent desserts (no %
names please ...). She is, %
ahem, a flexible lover. %
This means that not only %
is she somewhat of an %
%
accomplished acrobat, but
%
is also rather experimental. %
Her list of lovergrrls %
spans a wide variety of %
personality and body %
types. What she lacks in %
spontaneity, she amply %
%
makes up for in delicious
%
variety. Love is quite an %
adventure
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is the author %
of HerScopes:
A Guide
to Astrology%
forLesbians
(Simon& Schuster)- %
%
tinyurl.
com/HerScopes.
%
LIBRA %
oomph you need to get things
started. So don't sit home and
corner of the world.
wait for a knock on the door.
Blow your door off its hinges.
Pisces (Feb 20-March 20)
Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov 22)
Mystery surrounds you this
October, Scorpio. How can
you make this work for you,
especially in financial matters?
Are you able to divine the
best investment opportunity
or is your crystal ball full of
fog? When in doubt, seek the
comforting advice of a wellendowed benefactress. Who
cares if she has no money!
Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 22)
You are a firecracker with
a short fuse and ready to
explode on the social scene.
How can you spread your pent
up energy? Let me count the
ways. October offers you a
grand tour of the social terrain
with all of its highways, byways
and occasional potholes to
keep things interesting. Press
80
CURVE
OCTOBER
~
2014
Maybe it will take the form
of a great culinary feast,
maybe you will paint your
masterpiece or maybe it will
be a combination of bothbody painting with food. Now
that is inspirational!
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
You are a business hot shot this
October but your ambitions
might eclipse other areas of
Plan a few home-based headto-heads this October. You are
an extraordinary hostess with
your life. You burn for power,
influence and money but it
comes down to a balancing
act. Will you tip over as you
burn the midnight oil? Empty
your "in box" and slide into
your "out box," Guppie. Life is
too short and she is impatient.
the mostess and the ladies
will flock to your door. Things
can get hot and heavy before
you realize it. Relationships
form and formalize. Enjoy
the connections. Life is one
big bowl of cherries for you
Cancer. Hmm, how do you
know so many?
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Leo (July 24-Aug 23)
You have more than your
fair share of sweet and sassy
charisma. Turn it on, rev it up
and use it to sweep the lady of
Lionesses know how to give
out a great roar this October.
Let the masses know who you
are and what you stand for.
your dreams off her feet. Once
you have her where you want
her, plan a great adventure
that includes some side trips
You have great charisma and
can sway even the skeptics to
your way of thinking. Get your
grassroots efforts going. And
to explore parts unknown.
The world is your oyster this
October, Aries. Slurp it up.
while you are pawing around
the neighborhood, try some
new local hot spots and see
who you spot. Anyone we know
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
and love ...?
and impress, Sagittarius.
Work is much more satisfying
this October. Find any excuse
Virgo (Aug 24-Sept 23)
Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 20)
to hang around the office after
hours. Someone has her eye
I
Nowavailableas anebook.
month, Gemini. Inspiration
strikes at every opportunity.
Ambitious Caps find the
A fool and her money are
soon parted but a woman
who knows how to spend her
money is soon partied. Spend
perfect way to make their big
corporate move this October.
Fate places you where you
can rub-a-dub with the big
boss, and she likes what she
sees. There is nothing sexier
than a woman on top. Timing
is essential so you can fully
capitalize on all your hard
on you and is ready to make
her move. Things could heat
up and around the office coffee
machine. It might also give you
extra time to finish off a few
things on your "to do" list. To
work. You have been working
hard, haven't you?
Give full reign to your innate
as well as a few other grains.
So start baking and stop
creativity and artistry this
stewing, Virgo.
do what or who Taurus?
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
wisely and well this October.
There are places to go, ladies
to meet and investments to be
made. Careful planning now
can reap big benefits later. It is
the time for feeling your oats
\\\\_~
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OCTOBER 2014 VOLUME 24#7
~BEST
" "
PLACES TO WORK
2014
for LGBT Equality
OCTOBER
2014
FEATURES
.-,"
t.Jt.Jlll'
PEACEBOMB!
Global ethics meet chic
fashion accessories with this
anti-war jewelry.
By Melanie Barker
~,1
SPECIAL SECTION:
OUT PROFILES
Meet the amazing out
entrepreneurs who are
changing queer culture with
their activism and aesthetics.
By Merryn Johns, Melanie
Barker & Dana Piccoli
51
A GEOGRAPHIC CURE
Can one lesbian change the
fate of women abroad? Read
this personal story about pride
in the Peace Corps ..
By Zoe H. Armstrong
53
AN IMAGE IS WORTH ...
What happens when two
lesbian photographers fall
in love with each other and
image making. By Melanie
Barker
6~1
THE RISE OF UH HUH HER
Leisha Hailey and Camila
Grey continue to electrify
us. By Janelle Sorenson
& Melany Joy Beck
67
UNDER A
PORTUGUESE SUN
How one American woman
found love online and then
in real life, in Portugal. By
Fletcher DeLancey
:i:
>
COVER
PHOTO
BY KRISTIN
BURNS
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
1
OCTOBER
2014
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
IN EVERYISSUE
4
EDITOR'S NOTE
6
CURVETTES
8
FEEDBACK
10
THE GAYDAR
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
TRENDS
REVIEWS
9
BEAUTY
Our pick of no-fuss, no-muss
beauty products for butch,
genderqueer and andro girls.
26 MUSIC
Paloma Faith makes music you
can move to, but there is a
whole lot more to this womanloving woman than meets the
eye. Plus, the latest offering
from Banks. By Marcie Bianco
11 LES LOOKS LIKE
Meet the dedicated lesbian
behind Camp Sarlight.
14 LESBOFILE
Our favorite celesbians
behaving very badly.
VIEWS
14 OUT IN FRONT
Meet our community leaders.
14 IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT ... LGBT news from across
the country. By Sassafras
Lowrey
16 POLITICS
Are we abusing each other
and not holding one another
accountable? By Victoria A.
Brown worth
18 THE TWO OF US
Our monthly profile of captivating lesbian couples who
live, love and work together.
20
LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
22 SCENE
You had to be there! Our
reviews of the best LGBT
events and girls' nights
around the country.
2
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
& Kelly McCartney
28 FILM
Lesbian web series wiz Danielle
Earle has a feature film out
now called Lover's Game. Plus
our reviews of two must-see
lesbian films. By Lisa Tedesco &
Lauren Shiro
32 BOOKS
The UK's cultural 'diva' Joanna
Benecke's new book, plus an
excellent and countrywide
multimedia and print project
for America's queer youth.
By Dana Piccoli & Francesca
Lewis
■
■
I
■
Limitedspace remains on these incredible,
fun-filledlesbian vacations.
Call today to reserve your cabin!
THANKSGIVING CARIBBEAN CRUISE
November23-30, 2014
Oliviais honoredtoannounce Bonnie Raitt!
Performingon boardNovember 23rd
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FROM
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RONT!MERRYN'S
MEMO
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
OCTOBER
t seems that more celebrity lesbians have come out in the past year or so than at
any other time in recent memory.
Michelle Rodriguez, who was prickly on the topic for years, finally came out
as bisexual last September in an interview with Entertainment Weekly in which
she said, "I do as I please:'
Maria Bello came out in December last year in an op-ed piece she wrote for the New
York Times in which she described falling in love with her best friend and how her
"modern family" embraced her sexuality.
Good Morning America news anchor Robin Roberts also came out in December after
surviving cancer with the support of her long-term partner.
At the Golden Globes lastJanuary,Jodie Foster (kind of) came out while accepting
the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime
achievement in film, as her industry peers,
her ex, her sons, the media, and much of the
world watched.
Ellen Page came out in February while
giving a speech at the Human Rights
Campaign's Time to THRIVE conference,
announcing her intention to "help others
have an easier and more hopeful time:'
The act of coming out is a powerful one,
claiming autonomy and control over your
life-the way you live it and the way others
see it. All of these women decided to take
control of the narrative.
It can be a little different for ordinary
people, and for women of color. When
Charice, who played Sunshine Corazon
on the hit television series Glee, came out
in her native Philippines last summer, she
became estranged from her family.
When Emily Rios, a series regular on FX's The Bridge, came out to her Mexican family,
her mom was hardly thrilled. "Your coming out ... I don't want this to be this. I want
you to be comfortable;' she said, alluding to her belief that being gay was not part of her
immigrant American Dream.
Former Miss Kentucky Djuan Trent became the first-ever Miss America contestant
to come out, blogging in February that she was queer. She told TMZ that while the folks
back home took the news fine, some objected to the label "queer:'
We asked you on Facebook if you were out, and whether you would be out if you were
famous. Most of you answered yes, believing that high-profile lesbians have a duty to
come out. Some of you had been out for as long as 45 years. Others were still struggling,
fearing persecution from family or employers. There is never a perfect time to come out,
but if celebrities can teach us anything, it's that-like many of the women profiled in our
Out issue-you should do it on your own terms and when you have the power. That act
makes us all less afraid and stronger.
I
!z
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
CURVE
OCTOBER
»
VOLUME
MAGAZINE
24 NUMBER
2014
7
PUBLISHERSilke Bader
FOUNDINGPUBLISHER Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
EDITORIN CHIEF Merryn Johns
COPY EDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Jillian Eugenics,
Sheryl Kay, Stephanie Schroeder, Dave Steinfeld
EDITORIAL
ASSISTANTS
Caitlyn Byrne, Lisa Tedesco
PROOFREADERElizabeth Harper
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONSJeannie Sotheran
EVENTS& MEDIA RELATIONSCOORDINATORRobin Perron
ADVERTISING
NATIONALSALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ART DIRECTORSMeghan Musalo, Ricardo Calvi Vivian
PRODUCTIONARTIST Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Marcie Bianco, Jenny Block,
Adam L. Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo,
Elizabeth Estochen, Jill Goldstein, Kristin Flickinger,
Adrienne Jordan, Gillian Kendall, Kim Hoffman, Francesca
Lewis, Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras
Lowrey, Kelly McCartney, Emelina Minero, Laurie K.
Schenden, Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson,
Rosanna Rios-Spicer, Allison Steinberg, Stella & Lucy,
Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce,
Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Alex Styles, Meagan Cignoli,
Sophia Hantzes, Janet Mayer, Syd London, Cheryl Mazak,
Maggie Parker, Robin Roemer, Leslie Van Stelten
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Volume 24 Issue 7 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published 8 times
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4
2014
LESBIAN
Curve's online selection of must-know, must-try, must-read extras.
LIFESTYLE
WEDDING
REVIEW
BOOKS
COUPLE TAKESOVER ENTIRE
WHISKEY BLUE'SSIZZLING
PTOWN INN FOR WEDDING
BROOKLYNLOVE
"When we decided to get
Very good erotica is not just dirty
married," says Deb Leef
words but more like spicy food
concerning her recent nuptials
- you really like it, can take it or
with her partner of 23 years,
leave it or not like it at all. In saying
Arlene Kluizenaar, "Provincetown
that, Brooklyn Love by debutante
was an easy decision. We started
author Whiskey Blue is a very
investigating venues. Sage
good and very spicy book that
is one of the largest bed and
has three different lesbian literary
breakfasts in Provincetown with
erotica stories. Read more on
an event room large enough
G curvemag.com
to accommodate a smaller
wedding." The inn is loaded with
history, too, as Provincetown's first
hotel, the Pilgrim House in the late
1700s, visited by celebrities such
NEWS
as Henry David Thoreau. More on
LATEST
NEWS G curvemag.com
WNBA STAR BRITTNEY GRINER
PROPOSES TO GIRLFRIEND
basketball star is officially off the
CURVE
BLOGGERS
READERS
VOICE
market. Griner got down on one
WHAT IS A "LIPSTICK BUTCH"?
The out lesbian icon and
knee on August 15 to pop the
"I came across a term the other day that finally felt right-'Lipstick
question to her girlfriend Glory
A queer woman, who is 'feminine' in appearance and 'masculine' in
Butch.'
Johnson, who said yes. Of course,
personality. At last, a label that doesn't peel off, no matter where I stick it.
who wouldn't? Griner posted on
A similar coinage is 'Tomboy Femme,' though 'Femme' usually connotes
lnstagram that the happy couple
a feminine woman who prefers the beauty of butch whereas 'Lipstick'
were in it "for Life." Read more on
typically implies a feminine woman attracted to feminine women ..." Read
G curvemag.com
more on
G curvemag.com
LIFESTYLE
HEALTH
,,
~
~
than Jillian Michaels, who is touring Australia with her critically acclaimed
motivational live tour, Maximise Your Life. Read more on
~
~
~
~
FIERCE,FIT AND PROUD,JILLIAN MICHAELS HEADS DOWN UNDER
When you think of health, fitness and inspirational living, look no further
G curvemag.com
FOLLOWUS
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We have some of
the leading voices
in our community sharing their
thoughts on love
and romance,
parenting and
politics, and sex
and spiritualitynot to mention our
huge collection of
lesbian fandom.
SEPTEMBER
2014
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5
UPRONT!CURVETTES
MICIA MOSELY
DANA PICCOLI
KELLYMCCARTNEY
FLETCHERDELANCEY
Micia Mosely was hailed as
"smart, timely and also downright hilarious" by website
newyorktheatre.com. Since
earning her Ph.D. in education
from U.C. Berkeley, Mosely has
shared her comedic performance in cities all over the
United States. Her one-woman
show Where My Girls At? was
nominated for the 2009 New
York Innovative Theater Award
for best solo performance. In
2014 Mosely participated in San
Francisco's National Queer Arts
Festival as host and mentor to
"Brouhaha," a night of QTPOC
activist comedy. Mosely and
Marga Gomez, who she interviews on page 24 of this issue,
have also performed stand-up
together at the sold-out Brava
Theater in San Francisco. Learn
more about Micia Mosely at
miciamosely.com.
Dana Piccoli is a writer and
reporter for AfterEllen, and
has contributed to other fine
sites including GayGamer and
PopWrapped. She is the creator
and host of the LadyTv podcast,
which focuses on female
characters of the fall television
season. She is also an accomplished performer and musician
who is at home in both the
cabaret and rock scenes.
Piccoli is one half of the musical
comedy duo, The Suspicious
Packages. As the Fandom
Balladeer, she writes funny and
sometimes touching songs
about characters from popular
television shows like Pretty Little
Liars and Glee. Piccoli lives in
New York with her lovely wife.
You can follow her on Twitter@
danapiccoli.
Armed with an Entertainment
Tonight internship and a BA in
journalism, Kelly McCartney
started her career as a personal
assistant to celebrity types like
Susanna Hoffs, Adam Horowitz,
Sally Hershberger, and Isabelle
Adjani. From that springboard
she worked with a cool band
(Sun 60) and hosted hipster
musicians (Mazzy Star, Dada,
Beastie Boys) at exclusive
Hollywood club nights. Across
all the years that followed, she
has worked in pretty much every area of the music business
and, eventually, combined
her original goal of being a
writer with her deep passion
for music to become a music
journalist. McCartney currently
contributes to Shareable, No
Depression, GOOD, PopMatters,
Elmore, and Curve. Twitter: @
theKELword.
Fletcher Delancey is an
Oregon expatriate who moved
to Portugal to marry the wornan she loves. She now lives in
the beautiful Algarve, where
she writes science fiction and
romance, edits novels and
short stories, and continues
her pursuit of trying every
regional Portuguese dish she
can get her hands on. (There
are many. It's going to take a
while.) Her romantic novella
Mac vs. PC was published by
Ylva Publishing earlier this year,
and her science fiction novel
The Caphenon (the first in the
Chronicles of A/sea) is coming
out in spring 2015, followed
later that year by Without A
Front. You can read her blog
at Oregon Expat, follow her on
Facebook, or visit her website
at Red Moon.
6 CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
POST
ON
FACEBOOK!
FASHION FORWARD
Thank you for the excellent
"style" issue of Curve. I am a
young queer artist studying
design in New York City. One
day I want to be the lesbian
Tim Gunn, so I find it encouraging that Curve runs fashion
editorial on a regular basis.
Maybe you could interview
up-and-coming queer fashion
designers like myself who want
to take over the industry! Beck Streicher, Brooklyn N.Y.
STIGMA OF DOING TIME
I am currently incarcerated
at a mental hospital because
I have committed a crime of
assault. Not against a lover but
a neighbor because I was off
of my meds; my ex-gf had told
The
best
comment
posted
each
month
could
winyou
afree
digital
subscription!
me that I didn't have a mental
illness, that I was so smart and
normal, so why or how could
I have a mental illness:' I was
in denial of my mental illness
also .... I am well aware that
this will have consequences
on my future love life. I want
to know if you can discuss the
ramifications of and the stigma that comes with having a
criminal record and/ or mental
health issues in lesbian dating
and how one can overcome
this stigma. So many fellow
GLBT members are either
suffering from a mental illness
or have been incarcerated. I
think watching Orange Is the
New Black is one thing but addressing these different issues
is another. -Name supplied.
Editor's Note: We are planning editorial on mental health
and incarcerated women.
DUSTY FOREVER
Dear Curve, When I received
the July/ August Music
issue, as I thought of lesbian
musicians, Dusty Springfield
came to mind and I was happy
to read about Heather Peace's
acknowledgement of Dusty.
■;;~Bri~i:~~~i~·-·:
::::::
:···:::
,:,::
Posts from our Facebook fans
---- -------·:·:: :· :: ·:::: facebook.com/curvemag
We love it when Tabatha takes charge!
Love Tabatha! -La Cooper
She rocks! -Karin Smith
Williams
I am a professional
hairstylist and I LOVE
Tabatha! She doesn't take
any shit or any excuses and
I love her for it! One of my
idols. -Stacy Whitter
Is she gay?-Claudia
Martinez Alatriste
She is awesome!!!! A definite
role model in the hair world!!!
I've learned a lot from her!!!
- Jen Steffens
Loved the entire issue as
always. I read it cover to
cover multiple times and
I really love Curve at the
touch of my fingers on my
phone now. it's just great Rena Emery
Yes. She is. - Jan Sangster
Gonna order from Amazon
Kindle right now! -Kay
Nilkamheang
Love Tabatha. She tells it
straight up and takes no shit.
-Katrina Symmans
I think she's hot. -Ginger
Miller
She is an icon and one we as
a culture don't want to forget.
She had without a doubt the
most beautiful voice in pop
music to this day. Her voice
was like silk, at once powerful,
husky, emotional, and sensual.
She pulled at one's heartstrings. Unfortunately, she
was famous at a time when
it was very difficult to be out
and became addicted to drugs
and alcohol. She eventually
attained sobriety, but we
lost her to cancer at 59. Her
singing career spanned four
decades. To any younger lesbians who are unfamiliar with
her, I encourage you to listen
and fall in love. Her spirit is
still strongly with us. -Diane
Schuette, Silver Lake NH.
.··:1·1
::;o~:::.:.:~::.:::ast
the
point where public figures coming
I=I:
: , :::: :. _ ::: ::: ::: _ :·::II
l~~:i~~;;~i~i.~ii:::::::·;·
CORRECTION:In V.24#4 of Curve, In Case You Missed It (p.16) stated
that lesbian golf coach Katy Brenny won her lawsuit against the
University of Michigan. It was the University of Minnesota.
WRITE
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OCTOBER
Online:
2014
Subscriber Services are now available at
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TRENDS/
BEAU
Andro On the Go!
DO BUTCHGIRLSNEEOBEAUTYPRODUCTS?YOU
BETCHA!HERE'SOUR SELECTIONOF NO FUSS,NO
MUSS BALMS AND SUCH. BY MELANIE BARKER
sm o o t h
~eel My Hai~
Pocket Pal
a leave-inconditioner
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balm
Introducing your other
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VioLife Slim Sonic
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brushstrokes per minute
and a choice of hip
patterns and colors, this
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This ultra-healing, glycerin-based moisturizing
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Vitamin E and Vitamin B2, which is also
responsible for its color. Where's the chap stick?
Yu-Be has one, but this works, too-it's a total
treatment for dry skin on the face, body, hands,
feet, and yes-even on the lips! The perfect
solution for skin exposed to the drying effects
of water, wind and cold. ($16, yu-be.com)
A styled-up butch can make you just
want to run your fingers through their
hair. While they can take as much care
with their 'dos as femmes, simplicity is
key. For an effortless tactile look, check
out Angela Cosma i's Feel My Hair! The
Smoothing Shampoo and Conditioner,
Smoothing Spray Detangler, French
Argan Oil, Smooth Leave In Conditioner
and Vanilla Bean Treatments are
suited to color clients, and even those
who have never tinted their hair.
Made with natural botanicals, these
products are mild enough for everyday
use and produced cruelty-free. ($8,
angelacosmai.com/feelmyhair)
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TREAT&
CONCEAL
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Concealer-like lipstick-makes most andro girls
feel like drag queens, and not in a good way! But
this tiny tube corrects redness, covers blemishes,
smoothes out pigmentation and protects and
hydrates the face. Miracle Skin Transformer
Treat & Conceal combines marine collagen,
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MIRACLE CONCEALER
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Oberlube is for all parts of your body: skin,
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pH levels, and is used by OG-GYNs. Best of all,
sporty dykes, it can be used to moisturize and
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water, and as a barrier lotion to prevent skin
from chafing during intense workouts and
active sports. ($18, uberlube.com)
refillable case and 1 insert of 15 ml
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
9
THE GAYDAR
NDS/
p
~ THEGAVDAR
~
~
~
~
Takes one to know one? L~t our gayd~r help
you decide who's hot, ~ho~ ~ot, whos
shaking it and who's faking 1t1nlesboland.
BY MELANIE BARKER
~
National Review Online
editor-at-large Kathryn
Jean Lopez praises "exgay" therapy for lesbians
and gays living in a "fallen
world." We wish the right
wing would fall off this flat
earth
As if we couldn't love her
more than we do, actor
Susan Sarandon joins
HRC's video campaign for
marriage equality saying,
"You damn well ought to be
able to have it!"
Orphan Black badass Tatiana
Maslany tears up and is left
speechless when a lesbian
credits Maslany and her openly
lesbian character Cosima
for helping her come out of
the closet and rebuild her
relationship with her mom
7
I
®
Right wing
douche and
radio host Rick
Wiles asserts
that the Ebola
virus is God's
pandemic
to produce
an "attitude
adjustment"
and destroy
homosexuals
TARGE~
VH1 Save
the Music
Foundation gives
multi-platinum
music whiz and
philanthropist
Linda Perry
2014 Honors just
in time for the
launch of Make or
Break: The Linda
Perry Project
CURVE
Or should we
say straight
for pay. Sarah
Paulson in
American Horror
Story: Freak
Show laments
having sex with
her onscreen
husband while
surrounded
by snakes. We
agree:husbands
-ewww
Notoriously
heterosexual
Cosmopolitan
magazine publishes
its polarizing and
cartoonish lesbian sex
positions. Lesbians
and bi women agree
it's a fail for this queer
Kama Sutra
Brittney Griner
proposes to
her girlfriend
Glory Johnson,
announcing on
lnstagram they
"are in it for
Life"
What's better than an
actor playing a lesbian
on FX's series The
Bridge? When said actor
comes out as lesbian
in real life! Welcome,
Emily Rios
10
Target announces its
support for same-sex
marriage in a federal
appeals court case
and receives a perfect
score on HRC's 2014
Corporate Equality
Index
OCTOBER
2014
Fans of Xena:
Warrior Princess
star Lucy Lawless
are delighted
to hear that the
Amazonian eye
candy joins ABC's
Agents of SHIELD
for season two
Kristen Stewart
dons drag and goofs
around for her friend
Jenny Lewis's video
"Just One of the
Guys," and she loves
it just as much as
wedo ...
NDS!GOSSIP
Jane Lynch
Lady Gaga
p
~ LESBOFILE
~
Did Cameron and Drew do it, does Hillary bat for
~ our team, and which TV star wrote a kids' book
~ with her ex? BY JOCELYN voo
-
We could list a pageful of female celeb-
roundtable about a new book (albeit
rities who have espoused the wonders of
one detailing the alleged secret lives of
female flesh. So when A-lister Cameron
presidents), the panel fixated on the spec-
Diaz affirmatively answered that she'd
ulation that former commander-in-chief
"swam in the lady pond" on Andy Cohen's
Bill Clinton, though still married to former
Watch What Happens Live TV show, it's not
Secretary of State Hillary, currently has a
really gossipy news, per se.
mistress.
sake, and Jane Lynch may be taking a page
Rather than talk about the well-known
from her mouthy Glee character in her new
sion suddenly got a lot more interesting
fact that, yeah, Bill has a historical inability
anti-bullying book Marlene, Marlene, Queen
when mainstream press reacted to it. The
to resist side dishes even when his plate is
of Mean. The kicker? Lynch co-wrote it with
Sex Tape actor tells Harper's Bazaar how a
full, McCarthy takes the opportunity to turn
former wife Lara Embry. Looks like it pays
media outlet called to confirm whether her
the table.
to be nice to your exes.
However, her little two-second admis-
co-pond swimmer was close friend and oft
"Well, maybe he has his girlfriends and
she has her girlfriends. You never know,"
co-star Drew Barrymore.
Though not at all bothered by the fact
McCarthy said, implying that Hillary not
Gaga Gives Voice
With lyrics like "Don't be a drag, just be a
only may have another romantic flame
queen," Lady Gaga has always been one to
even pay attention. People will always
in her life, but that, in fact, that flame
support us queers with her songs. But at a
speculate"), Diaz's reaction is classic:
could be a woman. "Maybe they have an
recent Vancouver show during her ArtRave
"That's like saying I'm having sex with my
arrangement."
tour, the mega star shined a spotlight on
that the press was commenting ("I don't
sister," she told the magazine. "Are you
Hey, since the anti-vaccine media
attention has worn off-sure,
in a dig at the potential 2016 Democratic
and you made coming out so much easier,"
McCarthy's Misfire
candidate? Brass balls, this one has. You
Gaga read aloud from a lesbian-written fan
One thing's for sure: whether in refer-
why not slide
another person's powerful words: "You
crazy? I wouldn't even menage with her!"
almost can't help but marvel at her.
her position on being anti-vaccine, Jenny
letter. "I never would've done it if it wasn't
for you. I also wanted to thank you for al-
ence to her Playboy modeling years, or
McCarthy is not afraid to let it all hang out.
truly helped me become a better person
Authorial Outings
Straight people, hide your children!
ways teaching me to be myself. I now know
who the fuck I am."
Gaga may be a six-time Grammy winner,
So why not add one more claim to fame
Looks like a few out ladies are getting into
while she's finishing up her contract as a
the children's writing game. Folk-rock sing-
talking head on The View?
er Brandi Carlile has transformed her song
merely a mouthpiece for our collective
"Caroline" into a book of the same name-
voice. Thank you, Mother Monster.
In what should conceivably be a routine
12
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
but as she shows time and again, she's
TRENDS/
(/)
0
:;:
~
~
...J
~
...J
::,
~<i
:;:
<i
"I have a side mullet.
I look like most of Portland's
men .... This look, this is on purpose
to attract women. So if you're a guy
out there and you're like, 'I'm not sure if
I'm into that,' to you I say: Sir, there is no
chance that you are less into me than I
am into you." -Standup comic Cameron
Esposito responds to the guy who
told her she looks like a woman
who doesn't sleep with men
SHEs
st PROFILE
IN CASE
YOU
MISSED
IT ...
Kathy Levinson
•I .
I ~:~g~~~f~ '.!~ ~ :!~i~ ~1~ ~ ~ ~ ~
School in Mississippi. Hatcher, an out lesbian, was
punished by the school in 2012 for participating in the
annual Day of Silence, an anti-bullying observance on
behalf of LGBT students. A federal judge has granted
Lambda Legal's motion to dismiss the case following
the school board's decision to institute new policies
that include sexual orientation and gender identity
in its anti-harassment code, and has implemented
a new freedom of speech policy that is in line with
the First Amendment. The school has also removed
all references to the disciplinary action taken against
Hatcher on the Day of Silence in 2012.
California
» CivilRights
More than 20 years ago, a young Kathy Levinson
was already battling for LGBT civil rights, moving
the cause forward. Levinson and her then partner
wound up working in the same department at the San
Francisco-based discount broker Charles Schwab.
Called into Human Resources, she was told the
relationship could no longer go on, and was referred
to the section in the company handbook that said
married couples could not work together. When she
noted that she and her partner were not married, the
personnel director asked her if she understood the
MAGOO
HARO,
AMOTHER
IN
intent of the rule.
"I said that I absolutely did and asked him to turn
to the section of the manual that talked about health
insurance benefits," recalls Levinson. "I said that if the
intent of the earlier policy was to treat all couples like
married couples, then it would only make sense if the
non-married partner of a Schwab employee could be
on their partner's health insurance."
As a result, Schwab became one of the very
first companies to offer Domestic Partners' Health
Insurance, back in the late 1980s.
After Levinson had served for several years as president and COO of E*TRADE,a news story about her
large financial donation to fight California Proposition
22, and the ensuing fracas, left her wondering about
the "shadow career" she seemed to be pursuing as
she labored behind the scenes to make workplaces
more welcoming for minorities. Levinson stepped
down from E*TRADEand today is actively involved in
the grant-making work of the Lesbian Equity Fund,
whose mission is to encourage full participation,
equal rights, and leadership opportunities for LGBT
individuals by supporting initiatives that lead the way
to social change. She is also a member of President
Obama's LGBT National Finance Committee, working to engage and enlist the support of the LGBT
community. As Levinson sees it, "If we can each see
ourselves as teachers for those around us, helping
them to understand who we are, our struggles, our
challenges, we can go a long way to changing the
hearts and minds of the public." By Sheryl Kay
14
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
•
■
New Mexico, has been arrested for
physically and sexually assaulting
her 17-year-olddaughter after she
learned that her daughter was
gay Haro attacked her daughter,
forcing her to undress to "show her
she Is a woman, and not a man"
Haro then threatened to sexually
violate her with a toilet plunger to
show her what It was like to be with
a woman Haro's daughter says her
mother demanded that she attend
she was d1scrim1natedagainst as
a lesbian
SWEET
CAKES
BYMELISSA,
the bakery In Gresham, Ore., that
made the news last year after
refusing to bake a cake for a
lesbian wedding, has now publicly
advertised that It creates cakes for
the Restored Hope Network, an
"ex-gay ministry" Sweet Cakes by
Melissa posted "What a wonderful
m1n1stryl"on its Facebook page
Sweet Cakes by Melissa Is now
operated out of the owners' home,
after the Oregon Bureau of Labor
and Industries found "substantial
evidence" that the bakery had
d1scr1m1natedagainst LGBTclients,
which isn't permitted under state
law
!~~i!::~~~~:
I
••
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attendingthe WlldWater
•••••
■
•
•
■
■
~;~::,~;;:~~~~;:::i:~hheed
had to either wear a women's
swImsuIt or leave the park
Sweeney, a lesbian, was at the park
celebrating h~r bachelorette party
with her f1ancee and friends and
was wearing men's swim trunks
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
HAS
published a 11stof sex tips
spec1f1callyfor women who are
having sex with other women The
onl1ne column, titled "28 M1ndBlow1ng Lesbian Sex Pos1t1ons,"
names, describes, and illustrates
each posItIon Names include
"The Laconic Lounger," "The Lazy
Girl's 69," and of course "The
•
••
~~Zs~~:;e
s;,;~~a~::
• ~~~ ::~;,;
■
■
••
PNCBANK
Is Lesbian Violence as
Real as StrS Violence?
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and lesbians
need to get the message. ev v1cToR1A A. eRowNwoRTH
In queer and mainstream media alike, we
on dating violence from their straight peers
hear all the time about bullying, cyber~vi~ or incorporating it into their relationships
olence, and hate crimes against LGBT
on their own isn't clear. Some groups that
monitor dating violence point to the vie~
people. But the worst violence, particularly
to LGBT people in their teens and 20s, is timization of girls and women on TV, on
coming from a surprising place: one another.
the Internet, and in movies as a template
Girls-yes, girls-are experiencing violence for teen behavior: They see women as ob~
in their youthful lesbian relationships. And
jects of violence and humiliation on a daily
once they are in their 20s, those behaviors
basis and presume that this is how women
deserve to be treated.
are fully entrenched. One butch African
American teen from a support group for
In addition, dating violence among
LGBT youth told me, "Everybody does it. straight teens is pervasive, and the stats
Girls be pushing each other and shoving,
are awful: Nearly 1.5 million high school
grabbing her phone and saying, 'Who you
students nationwide experience physical
texting?' Nobody wants to be disrespected:'
abuse from a dating partner each year. One
"Disrespect'' has become a catchall excuse in three adolescents in the U.S. is the vie~
for teens and young adults to use violence. tim of physical, sexual, emotional, or ver~
Once thought to be a vestige of gangbanger
bal abuse from a dating partner, making it
culture, now it's endemic-and it can mean
by far the most common aspect of youth
anything from a side~eye, to insults, to actu~ violence. One in 10 high school students
al physical assault.
has been hit, slapped, or physically hurt
by a boyfriend or girlfriend. One~third of
Whether lesbian teens are picking up
16
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
high school girls have been the victims of
physical or sexual abuse. Approximately
70 percent of college students say they
have been sexually coerced.
Organizations such as loveisrespect.
org, the Clothesline Project, and Mariska
Hargitay's Joyful Heart Foundation list
the disturbing facts and also provide a
litmus test for whether a dating relation~
ship is abusive. But these and other or~
ganizations are focused on what is and is
not abusive in heterosexual relationships.
Just seeing the constant references to male
pronouns might be enough to discourage
young lesbians from thinking that these
sites are a place for them to seek help.
As one Latina lesbian teen told me about
her volatile relationship with her girlfriend
(both are 16), "Her nails are so long, and
she just digs them into my arms all the time
when she's angry. I don't think that's what
they mean by abuse, though:' But when
VIEWS/POLI
she pulled up her sleeves, there were long
dark streaks down both arms-streaks that
might even leave scars.
High-school-age lesbians are slapping
each other around, being controlling, using
social media to bully one aother and generally adopting all the abusive behaviors of
their heterosexual peers. It's an escalating
problem, but no one is addressing it.
Woman-on-woman violence has long
been dismissed as not "real"-portrayed
as the stuff of pornographic titillation: cat
fight! Within our own community, such
violence has been treated as a dirty secret,
so straight people won't point fingers and
use it against us to prove that we are unstable and that our relationships aren't
"normal:' Yet intimate partner violence has
been around for a long time. In his memoir A Moveable Feast, Ernest Hemingway
includes a scene of domestic abuse he witnessed between his close friends Gertrude
Stein and her partner, Alice B. Toklas.
Other members of the expatriate lesbian
scene in Paris in the 1920s and '30s, women such as Natalie Barney and Renee Viviene, were also known to be physically and
psychologically abusive to each other.
Violence among lesbians was an issue in
the 1950s as well. In her introduction to the
2002 reissue of her 1959 lesbian pulp novel
Women in the Shadows, the legendary lesbian writer Ann Bannon reveals why she depicted lesbian domestic and dating violence
in her novel-something about which she
received a lot of negative response.
Bannon explains, "It was intended to
dramatize the toxic bias of the time and the
inward-turning anguish of the women who
confronted and survived it. In their anger at
the injustice of it all, they sometimes turned
their frustration on themselves and those
they loved. Back then [there was] just unimaginable isolation and a lot of trouble:'
Despite the mainstreaming of LGBT
people in the U.S., with a third of the
states approving same-sex marriage rights
and the military lifting the ban on gays,
isolation remains an issue, and so does intimate partner violence.
Another Closet, a group that focuses on
"domestic and family violence in LGBTIQ
relationships;' publishes an online journal
of personal experiences, predominantly
from lesbians and gay men. The stories are
poignant and disturbing-and
there are
plenty of them. Some stories detail extreme
violence, and others include the well-known
scenarios that occur in clubs on a Saturday
night when couples have had too much to
drink and a woman might-or might nothave been flirting with someone other than
her girlfriend.
The stories in Another Closet's "Battered
Lives" collection do have one disturbingly consistent theme: Lesbians expect to be
abused in their relationships and do not
know how to seek help, or even if they
should seek help.
In September 2013, the Journal of Youth
and Adolescence (JYA) published a paper
tided "Dating Violence Experiences of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Youth:'
The results are eye-opening. The study,
which followed nearly 6,000 high school
violence.
The authors of the JYA paper addressed
physical, psychological, sexual, and cyber-dating violence. Controlling behaviors such as telling a girlfriend what she
could and couldn't wear, whom she could
and couldn't associate with, and looking
through her phone and hyper-texting,
were rife. So too were cyber-bullying and
humiliation tactics (the very thing Hemingway describes in that cringeworthy
passage about Stein and Toklas).
The results of the study indicate that
LGBT youth are at higher risk for being
victimized by all types of dating violence
than are heterosexual youth.
Excessive jealousy and accusations of
cheating that led to arguments that led
to physical altercations of some sort were
commonly reported. But as several teens
told me, arguments are "normal:'
Marginalization has always been a key
factor in explaining why lesbians have been
unable to seek help for violent relationships.
Few domestic violence programs in the U.S.
address lesbian interpersonal violence along
with addressing male/ female violence, and
few cities have programs specifically geared
to LGBT relationship violence. It's still hidden-even though Ann Bannon was writing about it half a century ago.
Lesbians are at risk. According to experts
in the field of LGBT domestic violence,
those who are vulnerable to violence from
others, as LGBT people certainly are, may
be more vulnerable to experiencing violence
and perpetrating it against each other, particularly in intimate partner relationships.
Know the signs of abuse. Ignore the pronouns-if you wouldn't let a man do it to
you, it's not OK for another woman to do
it to you, whether she's 15 or 50. Threats,
intimidation, unwanted physical touching
of any kind-even if it's 'Just" being forced
to kiss her-that's all wrong. Your phoneand hers-are private property. No one has
the right to demand to see it, or any other
device. Extreme jealousy is a red flag-walk
away. So are abuse cycles-if she hit you
once but apologized, and you said it was
0 K, she will hit you again and expect you
to accept it. Don't.
We do all we can to protect ourselves
from the homophobic violence out there in
str8 culture. It's time we protect ourselves
from the violence in our own community, in
our own lives. Lesbians love other women.
That love should never include abuse. •
I HAVt
SttNTHt
ABUSt
rHrNOMtNON
ON
SOCIAl
MrDIAYOUNG
WOMtN
tXCUSING
VIOltNCt
BtTWttN
THtM
AS
NOT
RtAllY
VIOltNCt.
students at 10 high schools, found the most
violence in lesbian relationships. The most.
Are young lesbians absorbing the message that when women hurt each other it's
not "real" violence? Have they absorbed the
message that enduring "mean girls" is just
a right of passage, and the humiliation and
bullying they receive from one another is
OK? That"real" violence only happens when
a man is involved? Are they unconsciously
picking up the message from str8 culture
that violence against women is normal? Or
is their violence against one another-as
Ann Bannon described in her books more
than 50 years ago-a stress reaction to the
injustices of straight society?
I have seen the abuse phenomenon on
social media-young
women excusing violence between them as not really violence.
But when a teen is leaving marks on her
girlfriend's arms, marks that could become
permanent scars, that is real. And that is
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
17
HOW
THEY
FIRST
MET
so easy. We both share a love of travel and
go there. I liked how easily we laughed
FRAN: We met through a mutual friend in
adventure in our lives so we connected
together and that we had fun together.
Washington, D.C. I was in town working and
over that and laughed all night. We wound
Naomi had recently moved to the D.C. area
up closing the place down and a friendship
and didn't know many people, so we went
was instantly born.
to a Washington Mystics game together
WHEN
THEY
BECAME
ACOUPLE
NAOMI: We started dating a year after we
first met, in April 2010. I totally made the
and then to dinner. We closed down the
FIRST
IMPRESSIONS
OFEACH
OTHER
first move. I'm really glad she didn't object.
restaurant but it wasn't a date at all. She
NAOMI: The first time we saw each other
We dated long-distance for a year, because
was in a relationship and I wasn't in that
we were both wearing Lucky jeans and
I was living in D.C. at the time and Fran was
headspace at the time. I just thought she
Fleuvog shoes. We soon discovered we
in Seattle.
was fun, easy to talk to-and
wore the same size shoe. Every time we
oh so very
young. It never crossed my mind that we
saw each other after that, I seriously
FRAN: When I was in D.C. for work, we'd
might date.
weighed up dating her to be able to share
go to museums, eat good food, drink
her orgasmic shoe collection.
great wine, talk and laugh. I thought she
was a fun new friend. Then, about a year
NAOMI: That first day we met, we went out
to dinner at Hank's Oyster Bar in Dupont
FRAN: Of course I thought she was
later, Naomi split up with her girlfriend
Circle. We couldn't stop talking. It was just
adorable, but I really didn't let my mind
and flew to L.A. to join me at a friend's
18
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
s
VIEWS/TWOOF
THEIR
ADVICE
FOR
LESBIAN
COUPLES
CONSIDERING
WORKING
TOGETHER
gallery opening. It was then that she let it
FRAN: Neither of us is afraid of hard work,
be known she was interested in more than
and we share the same values. We're both
friendship. How could I resist?
obsessed with the business and making
FRAN: Make sure you like each other
it succeed. Naomi can really focus in on
enough to spend all your time together. And
ONGOING
INTO
BUSINESS
TOGETHER
details or on getting things done, and I am
you have a healthy way of handling conflict,
FRAN: It wasn't a decision that we
more easily distracted and jump from one
with hefty doses of humor. I think that too
consciously made. We just had this idea
thing to another. I do most of the writing
often more damage is done by what isn't
and kept moving forward on it. After we
and am more technically inclined. She's
said than by what is said. Respectfully.
dated for a year, Naomi decided to move to
taught herself Photoshop, and single-
Seattle to be with me-we were expecting
handedly ran the business for the first year.
NAOMI: Thank goodness Fran and I both
a puppy, after all. We would go shopping
Up until April, she did almost everything-
can't remember what happened yesterday,
and talk to friends and kept hearing the
shipping, customer service, vendor
because I'd say that's truly one of the keys
to our success as a couple in business. We
same frustrations about the lack of options
management, and website updates. When
for women who would rather shop in
I started coming to TomboyX HQ on a daily
don't hold on to anything, and so every day
the menswear department, but couldn't,
basis, I just kind of wandered around lost.
typically starts with a clean slate. We can
because of the fit. I was personally
She had to train me on all the stuff she'd
just focus on what needs to happen that
frustrated with the frilly options made for
been doing for the past year. Although
day and trust that we're both on the same
20-year-olds and didn't feel "seen" when I
she still doesn't trust me to handle the
page, without emotional baggage getting
shipping. One time last year when she was
in the way of being productive.
went into clothing stores. One day, Naomi
asked me, "How hard can it be to start
a clothing line?" We're both of the fixer
mentality, so off we went.
NAOMI: We started the business together
from an idea hatched in the summer of
2011, after talking to a lot of friends who
shared the same frustrations we did in
women's clothing. I honestly don't think we
had any idea what we were really getting
into at the time.
HOW
THEIR
SKILLS
COMPLEMENT
EACH
OTHER
ATTOMBOYX
NAOMI: First, let me start by saying I'm
completely in awe of Fran on a daily basis,
for so many reasons. She is so smart,
and she's always five steps ahead in any
out of town I was in charge of shipping and
shipped a woman a belt-she
had ordered
ONMARRIAGE
AND
WEDDING
PLANS
a T-shirt. But she loved the belt so much
NAOMI: I'm Cuban American. We had
she bought it too! So Naomi fired me from
an event in Cancun we were doing for
shipping and I promoted myself to the
Tomboy in September of 2013. It turns
marketing department.
out, Havana is only a one-hour flight from
Cancun, so we decided to fly over and
ONSOLVING
DISAGREEMENTS
meet my parents, who happened to be
NAOMI: We'll disagree at times, like when
visiting family there at the same time. Cuba
we might feel we need to change direction
is someplace Fran had always wanted to
on something we've been working on.
go and I hadn't been back since 1988, so
Things can definitely get heated if we're
I thought, "Y'know, I'm going to propose
both really passionate about what we're
to this amazing woman, and there's no
positioning for. We'll force each other to
better place." The Malecon in Havana is
really talk everything through, no matter
traditionally where all the young kids and
how difficult. We usually resolve any issue
lovers go to hang out. It's a seawall that
by the end of the day. Ultimately, we share
stretches for miles and faces the city. It's
a deep respect for each other, so we work
really beautiful. The morning after arriving
really hard at getting to the root of what
in Havana, I took Fran out for a stroll along
strategy. Her vision and forward thinking
the other is feeling, because it always has
the Malecon and proposed. She said, "Si."
have driven all the major decisions our
merit. Once that breakthrough happens,
business has made. She's highly analytical,
it's like magic and we can move on.
naturally curious, a strong collaborator,
FRAN: On a long, hot walk she popped the
question-and
put a ring on it! So I call her
and has a fabulous sense of humor, so
FRAN: Neither of us has much tolerance
my Beyonce. I was not expecting it at all. I
things never stay serious for long. My skill
for drama, so we talk things through and
have no idea when she had time to get the
set lies more in the day-to-day details, the
call each other on our shit. We're not
ring and keep it a secret, but she did. I then
operation of the business. From customer
afraid of conflict, so we have the freedom
proposed to her a couple of months later in
service, vendor management, shipping,
to talk openly about our frustrations or
Boston and said I wanted us to get married
working with our design and product
differences. We listen to each other and
in the Cape Cod area. Her family and best
development team, to ensuring that the
sometimes agree to disagree. And we
buds are all in the Northeast, and since she
company's books are up to date, I work
don't hold grudges. Ever. I'm not sure if
moved to the West Coast to be with me, I
to make sure our goals are being met and
that's a conscious decision or just that we
figured it was only fair that we get married
we're fulfilling product in the best possible
both have terrible memories. Either way,
on her home turf. We're still working on
way. Neither one of us wants to do what
it works! And of course without a sense of
the details, but one thing we know for
the other is doing, which is great because
humor we wouldn't still be doing this. We
certain is that Catie Curtis will officiate.
we very rarely step on each other's toes.
laugh often.
(tomboyexchange.com) •
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
19
Throw Out Old
Sex Toys?
A new relationship raises the question.
BY LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Lipstick: All hail to the sacred
Long Dong Silver! Or Long
ANtW
GIRlrnltND
Dong Purple! It's rational, Sally,
your repulsion. I'm right there
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I am writing
today because I am curious about
something that my partner, Joanie, and I
do not see eye to eye on. Joanie has been
an active lesbian for 20 years-me, only
seven. She's my second lesbian relationship.
She has a collection of dildos and I'm not
comfortable using them because she's had
them in past relationships. I know men can't
change their penis, but I wish she would
throw them all away and we could start
fresh. Is this irrational?-Sacred Sex Sally
wit'cha, standing weenie to
weenie. A new girlfriend=
new toys. Out with the vaginal
voodoo. Dip and I have sparred
on this for years because she
goes all Greenpeace when
we debate this very common
dil(do)lemma.
Dipstick: That's right, Lipstick.
For those of us trying to
preserve the earth, Reduce,
Reuse, Recycle is our motto.
That's why our harnesses are
not made out of leather but
/////////////////////,W///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
20
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
recycled bicycle tubes.
NtW
TOYS.
OUT
WITH
THtVAGINAl
VOODOO.
Lipstick: I'm all for helping the environ-
Lipstick: It seems like a long-distance re-
ment, but I don't think pitching that old
lationship because it is. Heather is having
Rabbit Habit is going to tip the landfill over
a classic emotional affair, and they're the
its limits.
worst. I'd rather my girl bang a beautiful
vixen in a suite overlooking Paris than lose
Dipstick: Think of the gallons of water
her to an emotional affair. For women,
needed to process that rubber. Would you
especially, these are the most damaging
get rid of your bed, your side table, repaint
trysts, because this is the core of how
your room every time a new lover came
we bond. We are sensitive creatures.
into your life? Why would you get rid of the
Inevitably, sometimes even overnight,
sex toys?
these affairs put an iron curtain between
couples. What amazes me is that you're
Lipstick: Because you didn't stick the side
still together after she checked out several
table into your girlfriend's pussay!
years ago. It's time to roll up your sleeves
and set some boundaries, babe. And, for
Dipstick: If dealt with tactfully, there is no
lezzy's sake, it's time to get real. Have you
reason to ditch your toys with each new
seen a couples counselor together? You
girl. There's no need to let your lover know
need to get honest with each other right
how long you've had the pink pecker.
away and needle out why Heather's going
Make love to her like she's the only woman
elsewhere for what she should be getting
you've ever noticed. And finally, put a con-
from you. Don't wait another minute. The
dom on that thing. Not only will this stop
clock is ticking.
the spread of disease, it will also create a
psychological barrier, keeping past lovers'
Dipstick: I saw a bomb go off at a party
energies from entering this coupling.
once that involved another woman and
an emotional affair. Shrapnel sprayed
Lipstick: While I appreciate Dip's conser-
everywhere and not one person at the BBQ
vation efforts, there is a simple solution
left without collateral damage. My two
here, Mustang Sally. Let Joanie keep her
friends didn't survive, and you and Heather
sentimental dillies and head to your local
might not either, unless you get real, like
lezzy-friendly toy store and buy her a
Lipstick says. Chances are, Heather is
little sexy surprise, just for the two of you.
playing not only you but this chat-room
Soon, Joanie will forget all about dingles of
chick, whom she's grooming to be at the
girlfriends past and only be thinking ride,
ready when she gets the guts to call it
Sally, ride!
quits with you. (Trust me, she's scheming.)
Want to make
a difference?
Considering where things are at, you can't
Dear Lipstick & Dipstick: I have been in a
be that happy either. Am I right? Let's flip
relationship for almost nine years. Several
this around for a second: Is Heather giving
years ago, my girlfriend, Heather, made
you everything that you need? I doubt it.
friends with a woman online because
Stand up for yourself and end this cycle
things were rough for us and she needed
now. Whether you girls stay together or
someone to talk to. This has caused a lot
split up, someone's got to
of problems and resentment because
dismantle this explosive
she talks to her almost every day and
device!•
Serve as a couple
with the
Peace Corps.
has almost nothing to say to me when
we are together. To me, it seems like a
Do you have a burning
long-distance relationship. Is it right for
question for Lipstick
me to ask Heather to stop talking to this
& Dipstick? Write to
person?-Lonely in Lancaster
ask@Ii pstickd i pstick.com
peacecorps.gov/samesexcouples
T
here's nothing like a little bit of dirt
and family equality to bring New
Yorkers together! More than 650
participants got down and dirty for a cause
on the LGBT-focused Out-Fit Challenge
5km mud run. The sporting event featured
over 15 military style obstacles, which included elements such as mud, water and
ice throughout the course. This year's event
22
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
took place on June 21 at the Tuxedo Ridge
Ski Center, New York with race waves beginning every 20 minutes; struggle was followed by fun as once participants reached
the finish line they were welcomed by an
end-of-race after party. Out-Fit Challenge
is designed by and for the LGBT community and its allies who are encouraged to
compete, make connections, and celebrate
community through endurance sports.
Proceeds from every event go to a national and local organization that strives
to make a difference for LGBT individuals. This year's New York event charity of
choice was the Family Equality Council,
which connects, supports and represents
the LGBT community across the U.S.
(out-fitchallenge.com) •
T
he concept of creating Seattle Women's Pride was quite elementary to
inventors at The Seattle Lesbian and
Seattle Pride: provide a sleek space for gay
women and their friends to relax, unwind
and have a little fun around Pride weekend, all while enjoying some of the most
influential policymakers and entertainers
around. On Friday, June 20, 2014, that
mission was accomplished-and
then
some-as
more than 200 guests helped
take over The Lobby Bar in Seattle's Capitol Hill neighborhood.
Washington State Supreme Court Justice Mary Yu, the first woman of color and
the first oudesbian to be appointed to the
Washington State Supreme Court bench,
made an entrance just in time to hear Seattle Pride Idol 2012 champion Jack Mozie
croon to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow:' Then, a mighty force took the stage:
NBC's The Voicefrontrunner Vicci Martinez, who is a Tacoma native. LGBT civil
rights leader Marsha Botzer also stepped
up to the platform to say a few words and
inspire the crowd.
Fierce house music from Portland and
Seattle-based Hot Flash Inferno's DJ
Wildfire filled in the gaps between performances by Seattle Pride Idol 2014 Ruth
Soto and the Angel Band Project's Jen
Hopper, whose rendition of "Real Love"
brought down the house and closed the
show. ( seattlepride.org) •
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
23
VIEWS/
LAUGHTRA
Lovebirds is your 10th solo show.
Wow, Micial I'm channeling Polaroid Phillie
I did some dumb shit in college to meet
Congratulations.
right now for the answer ...Phillie is thinking ..
girls. I was forced to join a coven. It was
Thank you, Micia, for seeing it twice!
She says that you, Micia, are cute and she
lame. Nobody had any magic power. But we
digs your gap, but if she only gets one
had a cult mentality. Aurora represents the
What's the secret to creative longevity?
photo, she will shoot Mark Zuckerberg.
kind of sociopath who could control us. The
There are many secrets. First, I have the gap
Because Phillie says Mark Zuckerberg needs
original character had a different name, but
between my teeth. Love it or hate it, people
anal. Wait, Micia, that was wrong ...buffering ..
while workshopping Lovebirds I met a fan
want to see that gap with their own eyes.
Phillie says Mark Zuckerberg needs analog
named Aurora who was so over the top and
You have a gap too, Micia. I've seen you
technology. Phillie says she will charge him
New Age I had to use her name.
work it. Money is always a good longevity
two babillion dollars for the photo because
motivator for me. I love my fans and they
Polaroid film is very expensive.
What would your heartbreaker
character, Barbara, want to say to the
want new shows. I really could have stopped
at nine solo shows, but I have a touch of
The Polaroid camera plays a major role
OCD and I wanted to reach the number 10.
in the show. Are you a photographer?
FLOTUS?
Barbara would tell the FLOTUS,"Teach me
My best creative longevity advice to all the
Do selfies count? I love those old instant
how to Dougie."
aspiring young lesbian writer/performers
cameras. They're magical. Phillie is based on
How has Lovebirds impacted your
out there is, write what you know but very
nightclub photographers I'd see at gay bars,
slowly, like, a sentence a day. Then call me
back in the day. I began to research Polaroid
love life?
when you're 40.
cameras and the philosophy behind the com-
Great question I Full disclosure-I started
pany. I met other Polaroid freaks who hooked
writing Lovebirds after the breakup of a fairly
What does Lovebirds tell us about love?
me up with four vintage Polaroid Land cam-
long relationship. It was hard times for me.
The characters I play in Lovebirds show you
eras. One of them, the 250 Land, works great
Then I got a commission in 2013 to create this
what not to do. Don't take bad acid on a
and is used in my show. I hope to obtain the
show, and it was, like you said, such a depar-
date. Don't make a butch lesbian cry. Don't
Polaroid Swinger and all the models someday.
ture from how I wrote and performed before!
buy cocktails for a married woman. The
If I succeed, you'll find me on a special epi-
I had to use all my concentration to make
story, which bounces between 2014 and
sode of Hoarders, "The Polaroid Edition." The
Lovebirds. I had no time to obsess over the
the 1970s, makes a case for nightlife as an
bottom shelf of my refrigerator is full of black-
ex. I stopped hurting and fell in love with my
endless romantic wonderland. I like to think
and-white film packs. I'm sure all the toxins are
show. I even suspended my OkCupid Profile.
my show conveys the idea that although
wafting up to my organic greens. It's worse
Lovebirds is my girlfriend.•
technology has changed our world, our
than nicotine, my Polaroid addiction.
hearts have not been digitized.
The professor in your show sleeps 45
This is a departure from much of your
minutes per day. What's your average?
autobiographical work. Why the shift?
What happens when you get less? More?
My previous solo shows revealed everything
Now that I have sleep meds, I get almost
about me-my
eight hours. I hate to stop and go to bed. My
parents, being Latina, being
queer, my dog, my exes, my exes' dogs,
parents were in show biz. We were a night owl
acting in a science fiction flop with Queen
home. Our neighbors in the hood thought
Latifah, lying about my age. Plus, in my spare
my parents were vampires, because they
time I do stand-up, which is allabout me.
only came out at night. When I was little, my
Enough about me, right? Time for fictional
bedtime was when the 11p.m. news came
characters, which is what I had wanted to do
on. As a teenager, I hated my life and slept 12
for a long time, write plays and screenplays.
hours a day. Oh, to be that depressed again I
Lovebirds is written in the style of a script,
If I had my way, I'd go to bed at 5 and wake up
but I play all the characters. My favorite
at noon. There are days, when I have a writing
feedback is when an audience member
deadline, that I will skip sleep altogether. Back
says, "I forgot it was just you up there."
when I had a girlfriend, I'd go to bed earlier
and pretend I was sleeping. I wouldn't fake my
Lovebirds' narrator is Polaroid Phillie, a
orgasms for her, but I would fake sleeping.
drug-addled nightclub photographer.
If Phillie could photograph one person
Who or what inspired Aurora Flashmoon
today, who would it be and why?
and her interpretive dance?
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
25
ln Good ~llith
UK songstress Paloma Faith's lesbian
appeal. BY MARCIE BIANCO
Al
eifect Contradiction, the
hird album by Paloma
Faith, is, quite simply, per~
ect. Already topping the
charts in the UK and Australia, thanks to
the No. 1 hit "Only Love Can Hurt Like
This;' the album marks a return to Faith's
soul~girl roots. While the lyrics explore
the vast landscape of human emotions,
the music is consistently upbeat-some~
thing Faith deliberately constructed, this
time around, because, as she told me in the
interview below, she just wants to make
people dance! This encouragement to cele~
brate reflects her realization, upon turning
33 at the end of July, oflife's happiness, in
all its delicious contradictions.
26
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
While Faith has always shown love
for all her gay audiences (especially as a
self~confessed drag queen with years of
experience in London's East End), she is
more explicit about her love for female and
lesbian audiences. For Faith, who is set to
tour the U.S. this fall, love is love, regard~
less of gender.
What's a "perfect contradiction"? Why
that title for the album?
The title means a lot of things at the
same time. It came about during a con~
versation I was having with PharrelL He
was discussing my life with me, what I
like to do. I said, 'Tm a perfect mix of
contradictions;' and he said, "Wow! You
should call your album that:' I thought,
"Yeah, that's quite an identity statement
for me:• It speaks to the type of person I
am-defined by my own rules, rather than
by social expectations. You can hear it in
the music as well. When you listen to the
album, it's quite happy sounding, but the
lyrics are quite dark. On the other hand,
it has to do with the fact that at the time
I wrote this album, I was happier than I
think I've ever been in my adulthood.
You just turned 33. Let me tell you, 33
will be the best year of your life. It's
your Jesus Year.
Oh good! A lot of people have said that
to me, actually.
REV1Ews1MUSIC
The idea of contradiction plays itself
out for everyone, right? How we appear and seem to others isn't exactly
how we feel on the inside. This album
feels more upbeat than your previous
two. Would you agree?
Totally. I did that on purpose because I
just love playing live, and I found myself al~
ways being, like, "I want to get them danc~
ing!" [laughs]'Tve got nothing to get them
dancing!" I was just thinking about touring,
basically. Most of the album, except the
Pharrell production and "Only Love Can
Hurt Like This;' is all kind of very live, so
that it's re~creatable on the stage.
The album's lyrics convey a sense of
mourning while still evoking power.
Do you think your lyrics have found a
special place in the gay community?
As far as I know, I'm connecting to ev~
eryone, because we're all human. I find this
kind of a funny question, because I don't see
any difference, emotionally, between people.
I watch films where people have their hearts
broken, gay or straight ... The amount of
tears I shed over Blue Is the Warmest Color!
Are you familiar with the film?
Oh yes, I am. I think my question was
more about how the gay community,
historically, has identified with artists
who show strength in the face of
adversity.
I find popular culture, [female] music
in popular culture in particular, quite dis~
turbing-the
way that it's sold to me, as
a woman. To me, the male gaze, more in
American music than in British music, is
quite aggressive. They call it 'girl power;' but
to me it's not. It's still the objectification of
women for the male gaze. Sure, you can be
empowered by that, if you think as a woman
that that's the only power you can have, but
I like to think that we can have a music that
involves intelligence, creativity, or a sense of
humor-or
various other things that I like
to play with in my own image. Everything I
do is very sensual and erotic. I found it very
degrading, for example, that there was a"Pa~
rental Guidance" label put on the video I did
for "Only Love Can Hurt Like This:'
Why do you think the label was added
to the video?
I find that when you're portraying the
extreme vulnerability that you have in inti~
macy with a person, rather than this kind of
put~on 'Tm a sex beast" image, which I find
more aggressive, or even pornographic. ..
The extreme vulnerability is too
threatening?
Now that's an interesting question, when
we're talking about feminism. The other
thing I've come up against is when I cut a
record and there's a change of gender from
what it was in the original song. Recently,
I've been covering Van Morrison's "Crazy
Love'' and I always keep to the original re~
cord, which is referring to "her" -"I loved
her;' and so forth. People always come up to
me and ask me why I don't change [the pro~
noun] to "him;' and I'm like, "Why should Ir
Why shouldn't I love a woman?"
So, do you think that people question
your sexuality because you keep that
pronoun?
I don't really care if anyone wants to
question my sexuality. I want everyone to
think it's none of their business, that emo~
tions are emotions, regardless of gender.
You fall in love with souls.
The difference is a material one, for
you. The body is connected to lust, the
spirit or soul to love.
I agree, and I have had very passionate
love relationships with a few women in my
life. They haven't been consummated, but
the feelings are, like, even more than "I love
you:' Like, it's intense. I have one girl who
I write letters to every day. It's a passionate
thing that's beyond and above anything,
spiritually. Who I sleep naked with or cud~
dle with is none of anyone's business.
So, in relation to your music ...
My work is to do with finding a univer~
sal language, not accentuating or encour~
aging difference or segregation. I can relate
to anyone because we're all human.
Emotions are universal. When you
write your songs, do you aim for a
manifestation of a specific emotion, or
do you do something different?
I genuinely start with a feeling, or with
something I'm going through at the time,
and I begin with the song more than the
aesthetics. [The process] is usually very
spontaneous, which is why I prefer to
write an album over an extended period of
time-so that I can work through a feeling
or find an answer to a question, I suppose.
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
27
REVIEWS/MUSIC
Which female artists would you like to
collaborate with?
Personally, I've got a bee in my bonnet
about that. I don't think there's enough
of this going on with British artists. You
know that brilliant song Aretha Franklin
and Annie Lennox did? I'm like, "Why aren't we doing that, now!" [laughs]I would
love to sing with Erika Badu, Adele- I
mean, there are so many ... I'm always
talking to girls about this.
HOT
LICKS
))BYKELLYMCCARTNEY
Why do you think there's not a lot of
collaboration?
I just think that it stems from the playground, like it's something that needs to
be broken down. I think women need to
celebrate each other. The problem with
commercialism is that it promotes female
competition. It's all about going head-tohead. It's all about cadights. It's like, what
the fuck? Why aren't we holding hands?
It's perpetuated by the media?
Yeah. I don't think it's a happy thing. Because, ifl'm honest, I'm a woman's woman.
I was raised by women, and I relate more
to women. I do feel more comfortable with
women, and I feel more admiration for
other women than I do for men.
Paloma
Faith
APerfect
Contradiction
(Epic)
Infused with a sophistication that is not often found in the pop genre, Paloma
Faith's A Perfect Contradiction is a thinking woman's dance music. It all comes
together as a wonderful synthesis of its various producers, with danceable
grooves, potently soulful vocals, and not completely banal lyrics. Songs like
"Mouth to Mouth" and "Take Me" come chock-full of retro '70s synth and guitar
sounds that, oddly, lend a certain gravitas to the music, a historical context
of sorts. It's as if Faith is channeling the spirits of Donna Summer, Anita Ward,
and Gloria Gaynor all at once. "Only Love Can Hurt Like This," "Trouble With My
Baby," and "Taste My Own Tears" reach even further back in time and style,
recalling and invoking Smokey Robinson-era Motown sounds. Yet, in Faith's
hands, the whole thing still feels completely contemporary. Amy Winehouse
would have been proud; judging by Twitter, Adele sure seems to be.
I wish more women felt like that,
frankly.
I'm going to work on this.
(palomafaith.com) •
Banks
Goddess
(Harvest
Recoras)
Though it echoes tones of Portishead, Morcheeba, and Massive Attack,
the debut collection from Banks never quite catches up to any of those
predecessors' efforts. There's a good bit of style-and substance-in Goddess,
but it has, unfortunately, an uneven application. The first few tracks showcase
the thinner, warbled side of Banks' voice, sometimes against a backdrop of
almost dissonant ambient vocals. The poetic "Waiting Game" starts out languid
and captivating ...until a heavy, rumbling synth comes in and dips down to
frequencies that threaten to cause physical discomfort. Further in, cuts like
"Brain" and "Drowning" offer up a decent enough down-tempo background, but
there's nothing to hold on to once the music ends-no memorable melodies or
indelible grooves demanding to be heard on repeat. There's just a whole lot of
being different for its own sake, and that does not generally mean being better ...
or even good.
28
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
L
et's face it-we are always on the lookout for the next
steamy lesbian film. Long ago, when I was first starting
to come into my true self, I could turn to only a hand~
ful of queer films ( and I had to find those by chance)
to show me that my lifestyle is normal. Nowadays, there's been a
breakthrough, and LGBT cinema has taken film festivals, social
media, and Video On Demand by storm. It seems that I've got
an endless list of lesbian titles to keep track of. Danielle Earle, a
writer, director, and producer, has brought us a new feature film
titled Lover's Game, an intense roller~coaster ride of emotions be~
ginning with the premise that deep beneath the surface a woman
may crave something she never thought possible.
Lover'sGame tells the story of Vincent and Annabella, a wealthy
couple living in New York City who want to have a child but soon
discover that children are not in their future. This anguish be~
gins to affect their marriage. Unexpectedly, Annabella meets Gil~
lian-a seductive, exotic, lesbian painter. Soon, Annabella and
Gillian's relationship becomes closer and causes a whirlwind of
intense feelings and emotions. Betrayal and seduction lead Anna~
bella to her breaking point and to an unanticipated ending. I sat
down with Earle to find out how the film came to be.
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
29
How was the idea for Lover's Game
conceived?
Lover's Game was developed during a
very tragic time in my life. My grandmother
had passed away, and she was very dear to
my heart. When I wrote Lover'sGame I was
28 years old, and I just all of a sudden want~
ed to produce a film that the brokenhearted
would relate to. Everyone, one way or an~
other I'm sure, has experienced this type
of pain in a relationship. Love is beautiful,
joyous, but it can also be a beautiful disas~
ter. Gay, straight-we've all experienced it.
Loving someone so much that, due to cer~
tain circumstances, you have to let them go.
That's what Lover'sGame is all about. I had
to in my own life. And I hope Lover'sGame
sends a message to everyone to stay strong,
it does get better, and love is a waiting game
for us all.
What stands out most in this film? What
message will resonate with numerous
audiences?
I strongly believe this film stands out
because it breaks many stereotypes in the
lesbian community, and the performances
by Crawford M. Collins [Annabella] and
Miranda McCauley [Gillian] are going to
touch your heart in more ways than one.
The chemistry is so beautiful between
these two characters. The angst and de~
ception of Blaine Pennington's character
[Vincent] is powerful. The message that
you will soon find in our film is that love is
universal, there is no divide or separation,
and I feel that such shows as OrangeIs the
New Black,which is just brilliant on all lev~
els, capture that in a beautiful way.
Will there be a premiere, or a time and
place where Curve readers can view
the film?
Definitely! Were planning an event in
January after the launch of the film, which
will be released on VOD. We have signed
to an amazing distribution company called
Section IL
MEET
THE
LOVERS!
Lover's Game has a cast of talented up-and-coming actors who create the film's dark and emotion-packed love triangle. Crawford
M. Collins is in the title role of Annabella, the wife of the assistant DA, played by Blaine Pennington (Brooklyn Is in Love). Gillian,
the painter who becomes the object of Annabella's adulterous affections, is played by Miranda McCauley, who also appears in
Ear/e's Brooklyn Is in Love. Add Lover's Game to that growing list of must-see /ezzie films, ladies. (loversgamefi/m.com)
30
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
REVIEWS/
Fl
HOT
PICKS
)) LAUREN
SHIRO
Forbidden
Love:
The
Unashamed
Stories
ofLesbian
Lives
(WolfeOnDemano)
Wolfe Video Productions has announcedthe 20th-anniversary, remastered, high
definition re-release of ForbiddenLove: The UnashamedStories of LesbianLives.
This documentary was the opening night film at Frameline:The San Francisco
International LGBTFilm Festival in 1993,and won the GLAADMedia Award for Best
Documentary in 1994. Its re-release could not come at a better time-celebrating the
progress we've made in the battle for equal rights in the U.S. as states lift their bans
on gay marriage and President Obamahas signed an executive order barring antiLGBTdiscrimination in the workplace.
Such progress was not always certain. Through interviews, 10 women tell their
stories of life during the homophobic mid 20th century. Before there was Stonewall,
there were these stories. The film also highlightsa very unusualcultural response
to the lesbian community, the graphic novellas of the era, which were both erotic
and damning in nature. There was obvious curiosity about lesbian lifestyles, but the
social stigma and bigotry far outweighed the benefits of that curiosity.
Thefilm providesa valuablelessonto post-Stonewallgenerationswho may not even
haveheardof that turning point in LGBThistory. It remindsus all of the battlesour
predecessorsfought, beforeour rights and libertieswere securedby voter turnout and
presidentialdecree.Thisfilm shows the youngergenerationthat it truly doesget better.
Consideringthe numberof bullyingand harassmentincidentsthat today's LGBTteens and
childrenface, a moviewith this messageis perfectly poignantand fitting in our own time.
Yes,we hear the horror stories, but we also hearthe happyendings.
ForbiddenLove: TheUnashamedStories of LesbianLives is an excellentlyexecuted
documentary.Althoughit is 20 years old, it is just as relevantnow as it has ever been.
Andjust as muchof a treasure. (wolfeondemand.com)
Out
Now:
StarCross'cl
Jammers
If you like cute Aussie girls and plenty of action-in and out of bed-take a look at
Star Cross'dJammers,the latest film thunder from Down Under. Set in the roughand-tumble world of roller derby, this independent lesbian film feature is a modern
day love story with a touch of Shakespeare.Written, directed and produced by
PennyCavanaughand Michaela Upton (who met at the 2007 Xena:Warrior Princess
convention) it's out on DVDnow. (starxjammers.com)
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
31
hronicling the stories of
40 LG BT youths between
the ages of 12 and 21, this
raw and compelling pho~
tojournalism project com~
bines Lauren Golio's revealing portraits
with personal stories gathered by Diana
Scholl. Some of the images stand alone,
with no story to accompany them, leaving
you to search the images and create your
own narrative. Most are accompanied by
a few short paragraphs from the subject's
perspective, providing fascinating insight
into the photographs. "We started We Are
the Youth so young people could see images
of themselves reflected in the world;' says
Golio, "and to catalog what we knew at
the time was a historic turning point for
LGBTQ youth in the United States:'
C
32
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
REVIEWS/
The book aims to record the changing
face of queer youth in a shifting political
and cultural landscape. It begins with a
timeline, milestones in the advancement
of LGBT rights in the four years since the
project's inception, and ends with a glos~
sary of definitions, making it accessible to
all readers while letting the subjects speak
in their own voices. With full~page color
photographs and short descriptions of the
subjects' identities, families, hopes, and
fears, these tales of high school and home
school, college and shelter, coming out and
staying in, reveal just how rich and diverse
the young queer community is.
The photographs, while expressive on
their own, take on a whole new meaning
in the context of the stories that accompa~
ny them, reminding us that what is on the
outside, no matter how deliberate and easy
to read, is only part of any human being's
story. We are so used to sorting teens into
groups based on their appearance, seeing
them only as parts of a subculture, but We
Are the Youth challenges that, showing us
just how complex these young people are.
The perfect gift for the queer or question~
ing young person in your life, and for any
person who wants or needs to understand
our queer youth, this book has the paten~
tial to start conversations and maybe even
save lives.
BOOKS
r
seum of Gay and Lesbian Art 1n New York
City, and the Silver Eye Center for Photography 1n Pittsburgh, Pa We Are the Youth
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
33
The Hunger Games-no openly gay char~
acters! I thought it was about time that
changed.
oanna Benecke is a true re~
naissance woman. The au~
thor, actor, screenwriter and
film editor for the UK's les~
bian DIVA Magazine man~
ages to strike a beautiful balance between
covering celebrities and creating her own
art. Benecke's latest release, Being Benedict
Cumberbatch was published this summer,
and she's currently at work on a queer~cen~
tric YA trilogy.
J
Benedict Cumberbatch has always
been popular with lesbians. What do
you think makes him so appealing?
I think Benedict's appealing because
he's an unexpected superstar. His face
is rather chinless and odd, he's made his
name playing freaks and geeks, he speaks
his mind-he doesn't give the usual bland
celebrity responses, he's happy to say when
he hates something!-and
he certainly
never anticipated he'd be a sex symbol. I
think a lot of the LGBT community can
34
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
relate to him because the world tends to
see us as 'unexpected' too!
You are currently working on a YA
trilogy set in dystopian Sweden. I'm
sold! What can you tell us about the
first book?
I'm so glad you think it sounds appealing!
It's set in a near future where only same~sex
relationships are allowed and breeding is
tightly regulated. The main character is a
15~year~old called Freja-she's funny, feisty
and flabby. And she's convinced she's a de~
scendant of the Norse Gods.
Queer characters and storylines are
vital at any age but is there a reason
you decided to go with YA?
I did an MA in Creative Writing and
started looking at what people were read~
ing on the bus, on the tube, in cafes to see
what books people were buying-and
I
realized that readers of all ages seemed
obsessed with YA. Harry Potter, Twilight,
Since you are a film critic and writer
for DIVA Magazine, I'd love to get your
opinion on the state of lesbian cinema
today.
Getting funding for lesbian film is really
hard and even if technology has made it
easier to make low~budget crowd~funded
projects these days, without a budget for
marketing it can be hard to reach your
audience. I've had meetings about scripts
I've written where producers ask me to
tone down or remove lesbian content be~
cause they don't think it's marketable and
I know plenty of other writers who've had
the same experience. But I've recently met
a producer who's looking into setting up a
UK~based LGBT film production com~
pany so fingers crossed! The success of
Orange Is the New Black makes me very
happy-hopefully
the film industry will
realize that people do want to see queer
female stories.
This is Curve's "Out" issue, so tell us
what being an out gay woman means
to you.
It means loving my wife, being myselfand being lucky enough to live in a coun~
try where I have the right to have a wife
and be myself. These rights are recent and
fragile and denied to all too many mem~
bers of our global community. •
Follow Joanna Benecke on Twitter:
@joannabenecke
ith missiles firing
to make a statement about the
remind us that even after the conflict
around the world
effects of war using the remains of
ends and the dust settles, what is left
with disastrous
bombs detonated in Laos during
are communities in need. Laos is
the Vietnam War. ARTICLE22,
based in Brooklyn N.Y, takes bomb
the most heavily bombed country
in history, and Suda conceived the
shards and converts them into sleek
idea for her jewelry while visiting
accessories and finishes them in semi-
workshops in the rural community
precious and precious metals. The
trendy designs bear inscriptions to
of Ban N aphia. "We can now tell
the stories of Laotian communities
consequences,
war 1s agam
a threat to our
existence. Jewelry
designer Elizabeth
Suda has decided
36
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
FEATURES/
ST
ARTICLE 22
with a modern and original
cultivate the untapped talents of
is a start: for each piece of jewelry
approach, creating unique objects
local artisans to create designs that
purchased, ARTICLE22 donates
and new forms of business with local
appeal to those living in peace zones
funds to help clear bomb-littered
entrepreneurs," she says. Inspired
by Article 22 of the United Nations'
while generating positive social
impact to those living in recovering
land, artisans are paid at least four
times the local market rate, and an
Universal Declaration of Human
war zones. At the current rate of
additional 10% of profit goes to the
Rights, Suda's first collection,
removal it will take 800 years to clear
local community to support village
"Peacebomb," undertook the mission
of "trade not aid" and aimed to
the unexploded bombs in Laos, let
alone the rest of the world. But here
development. Now that's a (fashion)
statement. (article22.com)
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
37
FILES
W
hen she lived in the MarylandD.C.area, Teresa Morcho
enjoyed a vibrant lesbian
community with plentiful
entertainment opportunities.
However, when Morcho served in the military
at a base in Fayetteville, N.C.,she no longer had
such a community and noted the lack of LGBT
events in the area. Trebor Entertainment Group
was created in 2007 with the mission of providing the lesbian community in rural towns in
and around North Carolina with quality nightlife.
Today, the Trebor Entertainment Group is an
agency providing not-for-profit services to stud
models, exclusively through the Stud Model
Project.
"Our long-term goal and mission is to completely eradicate the
need for specific gender roles in the fashion industry," says Morcho.
"Our short-term goal and mission is to use our photo books to
create a buzz and awareness in the industry, as well as motivate
and inspire masculine-identified women who aspire to be models.
We are experiencing a serious shift in fashion lately," she observes,
"and the line between men's and women's clothing is very much
blurred. We hope this project will challenge the fashion industry to
open more doors for models in the LGBTQ community who dare to
explore different gender roles."
So, what is a "stud"? In the past, the term was used to describe
an urban butch woman of any race who emulated the look of
heterosexual men. But the younger generation, with its fashion-forward approach to personal style, has redefined this term. "The
term 'stud' now describes a more confident masculine-identified
woman who creates her own identity and stands strong in her
womanhood," says Morcho. "I remember watching America's Next
Top Model with AzMarie Livingston and thinking, 'She would be
phenomenal if they allowed her to model men's wear,' but of course
she was told countless times to 'soften her look.' If only they saw
her true potential."
The Stud Model Project aims to provide what reality TV shows
can't: a sense of freedom, affirmation and comfort during photo
shoots and the encouragement of each model's unique look.
"We push for a very positive experience and environment with
this project," says Morcho, who says that it has captured the
attention of butch lesbians all over the world-in
countries such as
South Africa and Jamaica, where masculine-identified women can
find strength and motivation in this project, because their own culture prevents them from expressing their gender identity. Morcho
knows the feeling herself, having spent her childhood in Cameroon,
Central Africa. As a young girl she had a passion for fashion but
never dreamed that she could express herself and her aesthetic
through her own unique identity, which would be taboo at home.
"Masculine-identified women of color face a huge amount of
discrimination," says Morcho. "This project allows stud women all
over the world to have access to positive images of models that
they can relate to. We want women all over to know it is OK to
feel sexy, confident, beautiful, and handsome at the same time."
(studmodelproject.com)
42
CURVE
•
OCTOBER
2014
•
OUT PROFILE
OUT PROFILE
THE AUTEUR
Hollywood writer-director Sarah Spillane calls the shots.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
n Australian filmmaker who is also an out lesbian living in Hollywood, Sarah Spillane
knows about breaking through. Her awareness of outsider and minority identities
makes her a better storyteller than most, as witnessed by her first feature film, Around
the Block, which tells the tale of Liam, a poor Aboriginal adolescent trying to extricate
himself from his family's cycle of crime and revenge. Dina (Christina Ricci) is the teacher who offers him the means to be free, while searching for her own authentic self. It's a good film,
and to this writer it feels authentic-even if the reviews have been mixed. Like Spillane, I lived on
the fringe of Sydney's troubled Aboriginal neighborhood and taught Aboriginal young adults, so I
was eager to discuss our common ground and the new ground she's breaking.
A
"What's been so interesting for me is that the people who crit-
same time they contain this reference to me as rare," says Spillane,
icize the 'familiar white-savior story' are themselves middle-class
who admires directors Kimberly Peirce ("Boys Don't Cry is one of
white journalists," says Spillane. "People from minority groups
the bravest first feature films"), Kathryn Bigelow ("Her content is
love the film. I haven't received a negative review from an African
not defined by her gender"), and Jodie Foster ("She's made such an
American, Native American, Indigenous Australian reviewer. That's
interesting crossover from acting into film making").
the audience I care about with this film."
If the film feels familiar (it has elements of the 1995 Michelle
Spillane is also encouraged by female actors who communicate
"a warmth and a desire" to work with female filmmakers. But don't
Pfeiffer film Dangerous Minds, which Spillane had not seen when
slap a feminist label on her just yet. As a die-hard tomboy and
she was writing her script), it's because she wrote it back in 2002,
the captain of her primary school football team, Spillane grew up
when narratives about race relations were a novelty in mainstream
believing she could do anything the boys could. And while Around
films. It has taken Spillane over a decade to get the film made, os-
the Block begins with a quotation from Simone deBeauvoir, Spillane
tensibly due to her gender, sexuality, race, and film-funding politics.
is philosophical about feminism itself.
But she is proud of the result. After a Sydney screening, elders from
"I have to be honest: I believe in the feminist cause and I believe
the Block, Sydney's notoriously dangerous Indigenous neighbor-
in furthering the presence of female artists and politicians. But for
hood, approached Spillane. "They came up to me, hugging me, in
me to call myself a feminist-I
tears, saying, 'Thank you-thank
my work. I am reluctant to step aside and focus on female equality:
you for telling our story."'
Spillane believes that all minority groups can empathize with
one another. Living near the Block in the early 2000s, a struggling
feel that would make it the focus of
I just do it."
A change is in the air, even in Hollywood, she believes. "There's
filmmaker directing commercials and trying to get her projects off
a whole movement of young women based here in L.A.-it's Ellen
the ground, Spillane was approached by the staff of an Aboriginal
Page, Ruby Rose [who has a cameo in Spillane's film as Christina
arts college to teach their kids how to make movies. From that
Ricci's sexy lesbian one-night stand], Evan Rachel Wood-really
experience-melded
talented young women, [and] these women are taking the stage.
with her ideas about existential freedom for
individuals, in spite of their sexuality, religion, socio-economic
Look at Ellen Page-that is a gutsy, gutsy move," she says of Page's
status-came
coming out.
the idea for Around the Block.
Whether or not Spillane has yet achieved her own existential
freedom as a female filmmaker in Hollywood is something she is
"People like Ellen Page are making a stand and they're seeking
out filmmakers like myself, who are part of a transitional phase in
happy to discuss. "I don't mind being called an 'out' director. I do
Hollywood where it's our generation now who's making these mov-
try to not go too far into the 'out lesbian filmmaker' stuff because
ies and moving away from the traditional Hollywood stuff. It's really
I don't want to be pigeonholed in Hollywood as only being able to
going to create a kind of revolution in the industry."
direct gay content."
After the film's Hollywood premiere, Spillane received numerous
emails, most to the tune of: Congratulations on your film, it was so
moving, so powerful. I think you have the potential to be one of the
few female directors to break through in Hollywood.
"These emails are beautiful and encouraging to me, but at the
While both in Hollywood and in Australia the film industry is still
largely a boys' club, it's a testament to the power of women that
when Christina Ricci came on board the film got greenlit.
And Spillane has already wrapped her next film project, a truelife action adventure with a powerful young heroine. Looks like
those emails are right: She will break through.•
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
45
THE 16-YEAROLD CEO
How high school student Valerie Weisler stood up to
bullies and changed the world.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
t sweet 16, New York native Valerie
Weisler is not waiting for it to get
better. She serves as the CEO of the
Validation Project, a global movement she founded in January 2013
that unites teenagers to channel
their energies into positive action through
social justice campaigns, connecting with mentors, and volunteering at one of 900 Validation
Project Chapters around the world. Since its
launch, the Validation Project has raised more
than $25,000 in goods and services for people
in need, and works with more than 5,500 teenagers and 2,000 mentors. If that's not enough
of an achievement for a teen who decided she
wouldn't take being bullied any more, Weisler
also serves as a student ambassador for the
Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network
(GLSEN) and the Human Rights Campaign.
You can see her on screen starting this year as
a cast member of Magic Makers, a reality TV
show by former CNN producer Melissa Rowley
that will go behind the scenes to show the
world how teenagers are making an impact.
A
into a domino effect of pride and acceptance in my school. One day
after school, I got a phone call from a boy in Uganda who was hiding
his sexual orientation to stay alive, begging for me to help him stop
hating himself. I knew I had to do something-the
problem was a lot
bigger than me when I was scared to walk down my school hallway.
It's my generation's civil rights movement.
Your actual coming out moment(s)?
When did you realize you were a lesbian?
The first person I came out to, without saying "This might be a thing,"
When I was in preschool, my mom says I asked her if there was a
was my school's Gay Straight Alliance advisor. She's also a lesbian
country where I could marry my best friend, Rachel. But the first time
and has a wife and kids. After that, it was a trail of random coming
the word "lesbian" really clicked with me was in seventh grade, when
outs: to my teacher after I did a project on Stonewall, to my best
I had a big crush on one of my friends. I freaked out and "forgot" that
friend at an event for my youth group, United Synagogue Youth
I ever thought I was a lesbian for two years.
(USY),to my mom when she found me crying in the bathroom, slap-
How did your family, friends, and fellow students react?
the world, when I was honored as a Youth Leader for my organiza-
"Gay" has never been a hush-hush word in my family. My mom's birth
tion, the Validation Project, by GLSENin May 2014 and shared the
mother, whom she found in 2006, is gay and married, and my oldest
video of my speech on Facebook. But that wasn't the last time I came
brother, Alex, came out to us three years ago. But even though I'm
out. I come out every day. I come out when my camp counselor
a 30-minute car ride from New York City, I was the first person in
asks me which boy I like, I come out when the cashier at the grocery
my high school to come out publicly. No one saw it coming. I could
store wants to know what the rainbow on my shirt means, I come
barely answer a math question without stuttering, let alone tell the
out when someone says "That's so gay;' and I pull them over and say,
whole world that I'm a lesbian. Once I came out, I quickly went from
"Hey, I'm so gay, so knock it off." Coming out never ends, but I've
the Shy Girl to the Gay Girl, and bullies had a lot more ammunition
realized that my identity isn't something to be ashamed of, and that's
with my new title. The first few weeks after I came out, I couldn't
made all the difference.
ping myself in the face because I wanted to be straight, and finally to
take one step without people I didn't even know whispering "faggot"
to me on the way to class every day, and the Populars giving me
When was your light bulb moment for the Validation Project?
burning stares when I changed for gym, as if I was checking them
I've always noticed that my friends and my generation as a whole
out. But then something changed. A cheerleader confessed she had
have incredible, raw dreams. But as soon as we begin to reach for
two moms, and a teacher told me her son had a boyfriend. Some
them, people put us down. One weekend at a leadership event
of my friends pulled me over in class and came out to me. My story
for USY,I watched this video by Kurt Kuenne called Validation. It's
gave people a reason to speak up, and the bullying I faced turned
about this parking attendant who not only validates people's parking
46
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
OUT PROFILE
tickets, but also themselves. The 15-minute video proves the positive
that your identity is something to be proud of. Next, start with the
transformation that validation causes. Before I watched it, I never had
safe people. They'll be your backup when you face the not-so-safe
a name for what my passion is. Afterward, I started thinking about
ones. When you start coming out to other people, make sure you
how validation could get people to hold on to their dreams and
don't act like it's something negative. For everyone you come out to,
pursue them. I went home one day after school and Googled how to
don't sit them down and hold their hand-just tell it like it is. People
make a website. Six hours later, the Validation Project was launched.
will mirror whatever your emotions are when you come out, so you
have to be strong. There is no perfect time to come out. You'll know
How has it changed your life?
in your gut when you're ready. If you need some more advice, chat
I am living the dream. Leading more than 5,000 young people across
me up! We lesbians gotta stick together!
the globe in pursuing their passions and finding their pride has
taught me how to find my own, and hang on to it. Traveling around
Name two inspirational figures.
and telling people to go out there and take risks is what gave me the
I bow down to Ellen DeGeneres, and if you play "Can't Hold Us" by
courage to come out.
Macklemore I will hardcore jam.•
You're young, so in five years' time where do you see yourself?
I hope I've broken the LGBTcoming out barrier by igniting a fire in my
generation to see identity as a celebration, not a confession. I also
hope the Validation Project has a real office, instead of my kitchen
table, even though working from home is a pretty sweet gig!
Do you have time for a girlfriend?
I have a girlfriend and she lives in Chicago. So far, we're proving
the long-distance relationship reputation wrong-besides
every
social media platform possible, we also write to each other nonstop
through snail mail.
GET INVOLVED WITH THE
VALIDATION PROJECT!
18 or under: Apply to be a
Over 18: Be a mentor. All skills
Validator. You'll get partnered
are needed.
with a mentor according to
Follow the Validation Project
what your passion is, and
on Twitter @TheValidate, on
find incredible volunteering
Facebook, and on lnstagram
opportunities. You can join a
@TheValidationProject, the-
Validation Project chapter-or
validationproject.tumblr.com.
even start one.
(thevalidationproject.com)
Advice for young lesbians struggling with coming out?
Do it! Come out. The first step is coming out to yourself and realizing
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
47
OUT PROFILE
THE
RANSGRESSOR
Butch blog founder and philanthropist Susan Herr
builds and crosses bridges using masculine fashion.
BY MELANIE BARKER
T
he dapper and articulate Susan Herr
was a high school English teacher
in San Antonio, Texas, when she
discovered her sexuality. "I fell in love
with the teacher across the hall, and
after some coaxing she loved me back. It was
a revelation," says Herr. But it was also Texas, it
was 1980, and Herr, at that time a born-again
Christian, found those new feelings profoundly
disturbing. Thirty years later, however, Herr lives
a happy and queer life in vibrant Brooklyn with
her "fierce femme wife."
But Susan Herr has never forgotten her Southern roots, and
indeed her coming out was facilitated by stories of lesbian pioneers
who were marginal to the mainstream culture. "Love songs by and
for women? They blew my mind," says Herr.
She, like her community, has evolved, but over the past 10 years,
in spite of the visibility of lesbian culture, she has seen a schism
develop between her generation of queers and the next. "It's what
I call a 'transgenderational divide.' The result? These connections
aren't naturally occurring. It's a tragedy because we so need and
can learn from one another. It occurred to me that fashion might
be a neutral convening ground upon which old dykes and younger
genderqueers could start building relationships-not
by process-
ing, but by learning to tie bow ties together." Herr launched the
blog dapperQ five years ago to "create connections between all
those who transgress men's fashion and those who are delighted or
inspired by us."
While butch biogs and tomboy fashion seem commonplace now,
dapperQ was one of the first biogs to capture and share fashion
trends emerging among the unconventionally masculine. Ideology
aside, says Herr, "dapperQ's editor-in-chief, Anita Dolce Vita-my
younger partner in crime-taught
me that what our readers really
wanted was great fashion. She's done a brilliant job of delivering
that and diversifying our readership so that it reflects the reality of
this movement. Alas, we haven't had much luck engaging the 40plus crowd, but we keep trying."
Lesbians coming out might be nothing new these days, but Herr
believes that acceptance of gender diversity has a long way to gofor example, coming out as trans or genderqueer is still not widely
accepted, even by our own community. "Joe the Plumber is finally
wrapping his head around the fact that we have the right to marry.
Now, we've got a chance to show the world that we don't all have
to fit the boy-girl box either. I see fashion as an important element
of this next phase because, while Joe may not like what I wear, it's
clear that I do it with intentionality and panache." (dapperq.com) •
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
49
I 1111~
~ YOURSELF
THE IMAGE
MAKER
LGBT TV icon Ilene Chaiken on her latest projects.
BY DANA PICCOLI
w
hen The L Word debuted on
Showtime a decade ago, the
sexy, sumptuous, and controversial show certainly made
an impression, forever changing the landscape of lesbian representation
on television. In 2004, when its creator, writer,
and producer, Ilene Chaiken, brought the lives
and loves of lesbian and bisexual women into
mainstream popular culture, there wasn't much
in terms of lesbian representation, and it was
something the queer community was hungry
for. The L Word changed all that. "The power of
representation is in seeing ourselves in stories
and in roles in which our orientation is incidental, but not ignored," Chaiken tells Curve. "All the
details are there, it's real, it feels like us, and yet
it's not about the fact that we're gay. It's about
the fact that gay people are everywhere and
doing everything."
J
made all of these tremendous gains. We are all kind of astounded
by the change that has taken place in the last two years. A lot of
us-that
is, the people I encounter every day, and also the world at
large-are saying, 'Wow, you've won! You're done, right?' We know
perfectly well that that's not the case. Not only do we not have
No one ever said that being in the vanguard would be easy. Every
full equality, obviously, but even as the laws change, experience
show runner deals with criticism from time to time, and some of
doesn't change for a lot of people, and there are still a great many
Chaiken's strongest critics came from within the lesbian commu-
places in this country and in the world where people face a lot of
nity. Yet, it's something that Chaiken takes graciously in stride. "I
hardship for the fact of being gay. I felt like it was time to tell that
take it as a great compliment that, firstly, people felt so passionate
other story, and important to also reflect that other gay American
about it that they got angry and upset and raged at me." She still
experience."
gets a lot of grief for sending a particular character to the big
Since quite a few successful actors and musicians-notably,
tennis court in the sky, but even more than that, The L Word spoke
Ellen Page, Emily Rios, and Sam Smith-have
deeply to fans on many levels. "I came to understand, early on, that
Curve asked Chaiken for her thoughts on the importance of being
come out recently,
The L Word was going to be so personal to so many gay women
out in celebrity culture. "Representation is important, role models
because our stories hadn't been told, and everyone was going to
are important, and it's important to know that the culture is pro-
expect to be represented, and everyone was going to have her own
gressing in a way that makes it possible for people who wouldn't
very personal expectations and put them all over the show. It's very
have been able to come out in another time to be out-to
telling and also really flattering and honoring to be regarded as so
and to honor it. Yes, I think it's important, and I think it's personal.
essential."
I've always thought it was a personal choice."
With The Real L Word, Chaiken's drive to tell the stories of lesbian
and bisexual women found a life in reality television. Most recently,
own it
This year, Ilene Chaiken has stepped into an exciting new role as
show runner for the soon-to-premiere Fox show Empire, which was
and once again in partnership with Showtime, Chaiken presented
created and written by Lee Daniels and Danny Strong. Empire is a
the documentary L Word Mississippi: Hate the Sin. Very different in
family drama about a hip-hop mogul (played by Terrence Howard)
tone and emotional reach from its predecessors, L Word Mississippi
and his sons, one of whom is gay. No doubt, Chaiken will bring her
is a stark reminder that while the LGBT community has made
special touch to this very promising show.
major strides in recent years, there are still many gay Americans
Ilene Chaiken has moved on to other projects, but we couldn't
for whom the struggle continues. Chaiken explains, "When I first
help wondering what Bette, Tina, Alice, and the rest of the L Word
proposed to Showtime that we tell this story, my premise was that
crew would be up to nowadays. Chaiken is curious, too. "I'd love
this story can be told all over the country. New York, L.A., and a few
to know what the old gang is doing, and rather than speculating
other places are the exception rather than the rule. We're in a time,
about it, I'm thinking that there's just some universe in which we
a moment in history, certainly in gay rights history, where we've
should be able to find out."•
50
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
had intended to apply to the
Peace Corps in 2003, when
I graduated geography at
Humboldt State University in
Arcata, Cali£ But the momentum of life took over and I found myself
back in my home state of Maine. I worked
in group homes, first as an advocate for
teenagers and queer youth, then with
Alzheimer's patients, as an elder advocate.
To augment my income, I taught belly
dancing to adults and English as a foreign
language to international students, and I
was also involved in local politics. I had
been interested in the Peace Corps from
a young age and grew up exploring stacks
of National Geographic magazines. After I
traveled to Indonesia and studied in India,
my parents knew I would end up living in
those pages. I finally filled out the online
application and drove to Boston for an interview. A program I participated in as an
undergrad, serving Hmong, Mien, and Lao
refugee families in Northern Californiaqualified me as a nongovernmental
organization specialist in the Community
and Economic Development sector of the
Peace Corps.
When I received my invitation to serve
as a Peace Corps volunteer in Armenia,
all I knew of the country was Armenian
music from my belly dancing experience
and the history of the 1915 genocide (the
band System of a Down had raised my
awareness). I went in armed with my New
England work ethic and stubbornnessand enough Equal Exchange chocolate to
last two years. Little did I know the lasting
impact that this tiny, post-Soviet, primarily
agrarian nation would have on my life, and
how it would alter my perceptions and
my queer identity. In mid-coast Maine, I
had relative political freedom as a queer
person, but a level of expression of my
queer identity was missing at that point in
my life, and I knew going into the Peace
Corps that I would need to internalize
my queer identity even more. For safety
and acceptance, on a case-by-case basis,
I would need to make some hard choices
about how honest I'd be.
For two years, my post was Goris (pop.
15,000), in Syunik Marz, four hours
north of Iran, in a beautiful valley in the
Caucasus Mountains. I was assigned to the
Goris Women's Resource Center, initially
funded by the Organization for Security
and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE). My
I
52
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
closest counterparts,
the board of directors,
consisted of nine
dedicated Armenian
women aged 30 to 60.
I was 32.
Armenian society
has strictly defined
gender roles. Women
who seek freedom,
travel, expression, and
education outside their established roles
are often seen as trouble, undesirable, a
threat to tradition and a destabilizing
force in their families. This resource center-a space run by and in the service of
women-in rural Armenia was in itself a
revolutionary act. The women who started
this center, visionaries in their community
and on the cutting edge of human rights
work in Armenia, do not shy away from
tough advocacy issues. In their first two
years, I helped them build organizational
capacity, and membership grew from just
nine women to over 200. Through sheer
grit, we connected women to educational
and economic opportunities in Armenia
and abroad, built a micro-finance artisan
project, created a small research library
and computer lab, held health workshops,
hosted domestic violence awareness and
outreach services, and participated in civic
engagement initiatives, including election
monitoring and anti-corruption programs ..._____
Several Peace Corps volunteers offered
their time and expertise at this center, and
it became a hub of activity in the region.
These women stuck with it year after year,
and opened my eyes to the magic that is
happening in a mostly forgotten little fold
of the world.
I didn't come out in my community,
though I tried to once, to one of my
closest counterparts. We were working
late on a grant proposal, and I received an
email from an old college friend who had
recently transitioned. My friend shared his
new name with me and I cried a bit. I explained my tears to my colleague and how
my friend had transitioned from F to M.
It was a lot for her. She'd heard of it, but
only as a faraway idea-not as a reality in
a friend's life. I wanted to come out to her
then. We had been friends for over a year. I
knew her family, her ambitions and fears.
_
FEATURES/
I felt like a fraud. I hit a heteronormative
wall as I weighed the possible consequences. I had heard of a PCV in neighboring
Azerbaijan who had decided to come out
to her service community. I was impressed,
but I had invested so much and been
through so many defeats and victories,
both personally and with our programming goals, that I wasn't ready to take on
an unknown wave of reactions from a very
large group of women in my small town.
They are modern women, and they can
learn, adapt, and change like any of us.
Sometimes, I feel I was cowardly; other
times, I feel it was a simple, logical choice
in a seemingly impossible situation.
A sweet surprise in the Peace Corps
was connecting with others dedicated to
international and sustainable development, from the U.S. Embassy, the U.S.
Agency for International Development,
the U.N., and the OSCE in the capital
city, Yerevan. It was there that I and other
LGBTQ volunteers met the local queer
community. I was out to Peace Corps staff,
my fellow Peace Corps volunteers, and the
local urban queers. But in my post, Goris,
I was closeted, which is often the case for
Peace Corps volunteers serving in regions
where sexual and gender minorities are
not supported or socially understood. On
the books, homosexuality became legal in
Armenia around 2007. But there were still
hate crimes, including those targeting local
LGBTQ citizens in the capital. During
my service in 2010, a local butch lesbian,
who many of us knew, was beaten up by
local extremists. They called her a man,
spat on her, and punched her until the
cops came. In Armenia, there is a repeated
soul- and flesh-bruising trajectory of
progress toward equal rights for LGBTQ
people; Armenians who choose this fight
knowingly put themselves at great risk in
a society that many say is "not ready" for
them. In the face of such daunting odds,
they are making progress.
In Yerevan, I was
fortunate to meet a
network of academics,
artists, and activists
connected to Women's
Resource Center
Armenia. I met local
LGBTQ advocates,
who collaborated with
me to teach tolerance
initiatives at the growing Goris Women's
Resource Center.
Despite Armenia's
rich intellectual and
feminist heritage, the
work is dangerous. A
meet-up in Yerevan
called DIY, a lesbianand gay-owned artists
bar, was bombed by
political extremists in
2012. (The bombing
occurred after-hours;
thankfully, no one was hurt.)
A few advocates worked for Public
Information and Need of Knowledge
(PINK), a nonprofit dedicated to equal
human rights for LGBTQ citizens in
Armenia and the Caucasus region (including Turkey, Georgia, Azerbaijan, and
Russia). These advocates, and my daily
Peace Corps life, opened my eyes to reality
for LGBTQ Armenians.
There came a point of realization for me
when I met a girl of about 11 in a small
village who I believed to be a lesbian. I
realized that coming out to her could badly
backfire. At the very least, she might think
I was odd; but it could be much worse.
Maybe our conversation would send her
down a path of confusion and sadness;
maybe it would lead to rejection by her
family; maybe even suicide. Being a social
outcast in a small village is not a fate to
I TRIE
wish on anyone. Holding that kind of ethical responsibility in a human interaction
is an intensive burden. Choosing to walk
away knowing that someone is in need of
support, choosing to walk away because
that might actually be the most supportive
thing, is mind-bending and devastating.
Imagine you are born lesbian in a tiny rural
Armenian village-no queer community,
no familial acknowledgment, and often
no personal understanding of your sexual
identity. No one to compare experiences
with. No space in which to open up a
dialogue. No economic mobility to move
to the city. Your fate is marriage, children,
home-the organizing pillars of traditional life. Or maybe your fate is living with
your parents and extended family, never
to find a partner or be understood in an
authentic way. Of course, some LGBTQ
people in Armenia realize why they feel
different and move to the capital or even
out of the country. But for others, the story
is all too familiar: leading double lives, falling prey to shadow economies or suicide.
Reflecting on these experiences led me
to new caverns of thought. It twisted my
own queer identity. My priorities shifted.
The reality of desperation and the silencing
of souls en masse shook my core. I gained
a firsthand understanding that what I was
seeing in Armenia is happening in so many
nations: Gender outlaws, queer academics,
and activist bloggers are trying to push
their nations forward while the weight of
tradition and social norms embedded in
our globe's elder cultures are holding firm.
Returning to my American queer
"family" has not been a smooth transition.
My voice in the community does not feel
the same, or come through as easily. I feel
awkward now, in the land of sound bites. It
is not so simple to encapsulate painful and
complex realities. If I say I see a sense of
privilege in the queer politics in the U.S.,
it is perceived as criticism. But what I am
able to see now are the very real opportunities embedded within that privilege. If
we don't take these privileges and do all
we can with them, when so many others
do not have that access, then we are taking
something very precious for granted.
I picked up some queer wisdom in
those dusty hills, with their shifting moon
shadows and frozen silence. I am a more
mindful human for having embraced this
path and for carrying these stories with me.
(peacecorps.gov / samesexcouples) •
OCTOBER
2014
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53
t's like the set~up for a lesbian ro~
mance: Two lesbian photographers
living on different coasts meet on
the image~sharing website Flickr,
fall for each other's work, then for
each other's profile photos; they
email, flirt harmlessly, but never make plans
to meet. Fast forward two years later when
they bump into each other again online.
Will they finally connect for real and dis~
appear into the sunset together like one of
their beautiful photographs ...?
"Our first actual in~person meeting was
at a gas station in Deerfield, MA.;' says Hei~
di Margocsy. "I pulled into the parking lot,
got out of my car to hug Tara and knew that
in some crazy, wonderful, ridiculous way my
life was about to change:'
"That makes it sound like I take girls to
gas stations for dates!" interjects Tara Bax~
ter. "For the record, we did leave the gas sta~
tion to go have drinks:'
After seven months of long~distance dat~
ing, it was time to make a decision: East or
West. "The West won;' says Margocsy "and
we packed up all of my stuff into a-you
guessed it-U~Haul
and made the jour~
ney cross country. We made it to Petaluma,
California in Februarv 2008. We officiallv
56
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2014
began our business in the spring of 2008 af~
ter many discussions. We had some simple
business cards printed up with our portrait
work, made a bunch to hand out at Sonoma
Pride and we were on our way..:'
The inspiration for In Her Image Pho~
tography came from a friend Baxter had
photographed. 'J\fter she saw the photos,
she said to me, 'Thank you for making me
feel beautiful: I immediately imagined that
there would be a need for women to have
at least one great photo of themselves. This
was when Facebook was still just for college
kids, and Glamour Shots was so obviously
popped~collars and feather boas. I wanted
to be the anti~Glamour Shots:'
In Her Image Photography's original
tagline was a rather earnest "self-esteem
portraits for women;' and originally Baxter
envisaged it as a non~profit service or a book
about body image."! had an underlying goal
of counteracting all the negative imagery of
women with empowering images;' she says.
That mission has now produced a full~time
business that sustains two people.
"Our friends and colleagues were shocked
to hear that we only planned on photo~
graphing women. Not weddings, engage~
ments, pets-iust women:' savs Mar2:ocsv.
'J\t the time we began our business, Prop.
8 was still in effect. We didn't feel comfortable participating in an industry that didn't
legally include, recognize or validate us. In
order to 'stand out' in our industry, choosing
a very specific niche has proven to be a savvy
choice for us:'
While both women are photographers,
Margocsy describes Baxter as the project's
"visionary; a sweet, and sometimes quiet
tattooed Oakland native who'll disarm your
nerves in front of the lens:' She describes
herself as "the implementer; a passionate,
slightly bossy Australian who'll stop at nothing to get amazing images of you. It works:'
They are self taught and intuitive photographers whose professional edge has been
honed through years of practice, although
Baxter has had a camera in her pocket since
the age of seven.'J\fter hearing Annie Leibovitz speak about her craft at Stanford, I admired the fact that she admitted she wasn't
a 'technical photographer: You could have
the most fancy oven with all the bells and
whistles, but it won't make you an amazing
che£ You need experience, creativity and intuition to create something credible:'
"Our aesthetic shifts with every client because every client is different. We approach
every session with one goal: How can we
capture some beautiful and amazing images of this woman in a way that truly allows
her to be represented authentically in this
world?" says Margocsy.
"First and foremost, we want women to
feel beautiful-no
matter their age, color,
shape, size or where they fall on the gender
spectrum, be they butch, femme, or in between;' adds Baxter.''We want to reflect their
beauty back to them and in the long-term,
redefine society's beauty standard. Photographing lesbians is important to us because
we want to help document our community
and be a part of increasing our visibility:'
One shoot that demonstrates the importance of their image making is that involving
a young family. "Two amazing women, Jodi
and Timaree, and their sweet little baby boy
Caemon. It was our first session where we
were able to capture a lesbian family. Up
until that point, we had only photographed
couples, and gay women by themselves for
sessions;' says Margocsy. "It felt amazing to
share those images on our social media pages. We knew that there would be people out
there viewing the images that would recognize that lesbian parents are, quite obviously, no different from heterosexual parents.
They both love and cherish their children
equally. Love, really is, love:'
Two years after that session, In Her
Image photographed the family again, as
a 40th birthday gift to Jodi from Timaree.
But shortly after that session, Caemon was
diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and
in early 2013 passed away after battling
the disease. "To have captured this beautiful family's spirit was of course, something
we were hired to do. But it was never really a job;' says Margocsy. 'J\nd looking back,
knowing that the images of their family will
be a part of this little boy's legacy forever,
well, it's a true honor. Sometimes, it's about
more than beautiful portraits. Sometimes
it's about capturing a small piece of someone's story in a way that honors them, today,
tomorrow and for decades to come:'
While home is a one-acre "farmlet" in
California, with a menagerie of pugs and
rabbits, Baxter and Margocsy, who are
vegan, go out of their way-literally-for
clients, traveling cross country for shoots.
Their gratitude for love and life drives them,
as expressed by the "Thank You" tattoo each
bears. (inherima2:eohoto.com) •
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
57
Linda Perry brings her commanding talent to the task of discovering new stars.
BY KELLY MCCARTNEY
58
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2014
FEATURES!COV
OCTOBER
2014
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59
Linda Perry doesn't give a fuck. Actually, she does. She gives a fuck about a lot of things, but what
other people think isn't one of them. An artistic powerhouse and Renaissance woman, Perry exploded onto the scene 25 years ago as the front woman for 4 Non Blondes. Their iconic "What's
Up?" was the first of Perry's many hits. As a songwriter and producer, she has worked with Christina
Aguilera, P!nk, Gwen Stefani, Alicia Keys, Britney Spears, and just about every other contemporary
pop artist worth listening to. So, yeah, Linda Perry gives a fuck. But what she cares about is musicthe people who make music, the people who listen to music-and that propelled her into a new
reality TV show on VH1, Make or Break: The Linda Perry Project.
60
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2014
FEATUREStCOV
:i:
>
She saw, in the music world, a generation of artists coming up
who don't get it. They think that being an artist means winning a
show rather than writing a song. "They don't really know that music
comes from life experiences-that you pick up a guitar and you find
your way through it. You discover who you are, you find your emo~
tions through it. You find your weaknesses through it, your strength;
you find your voice, and you start creating the person that you want
to be. That, to me, is not being voiced;' Perry explains.
So she's voicing it on Make or Break, and, as is always the case
with Perry, she says what she means and she means what
she says. Along the way, Perry does not suffer fools-not a single
one."What you're seeing is just how I am in the studio, always;' she
says.'Tm talking to a group of people who don't know that there are
other ways besides curtains rising and judges judging and singers
singing other people's songs. What I see and hear is people basically
singing exactly like the demo of the singer that the producer put on
the track. They're not putting their twist on it. Their twist is their
outfit. It's not their heart and passion on the line:'
Unlike those other talent competition shows, Make or Break
is about artistic development, it's about finding a diamond in the
rough and shining it up. But, these days, people aren't used to that
approach. When Perry kicked the obviously talented Noah off the
show, she heard a lot of grousing and grumbling about it. Guess
what? She didn't give a fuck "That's the whole point," she emphasizes.
'Tm going to get rid of what you're used to and I'm going to bring in
something better-something you should listen to, something you
should aspire to. I'm going to raise the fucking bar in this show:' As
a producer, Perry's role is to bring out the best in her artists, to help
them define and achieve their vision. It's a process, and one that a
lot of people don't have the patience for, or the understanding to ap~
preciate. "Everybody is just looking for the fast track And it doesn't
work that way;' she says.''.Andif it does, it's only temporary. That's it.
It's a Band~Aid. It's going to fall off.'
OCTOBER
2014
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Perry knows what she is looking for in an artist: "You have
to have a dream. You have to have drive. You have to have heart,
passion. And you have to have talent. But, honestly, talent is just a
small part of it. All the other stuff is actually far more important:'
One of the bands on Make or Breakis a trio oflesbians called
Hunter Valentine; they have been part of the LGBT scene, and on
some notable tours, for the past 10 years."! don't like their name. I
don't even like their music, to be honest. But I like them. And they
have so much heart, because what has gotten them from here to
there has been their drive, not their music. There's no way;' Perry
62
CURVE
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2014
cautions. "Going and playing the White Party at fucking Dinah
Shore Weekend, with a bunch of drunk lesbians rushing the stage,
is not success. That doesn't mean you're great. That just means those
lesbians are drunk and you guys are cute, you're dykes, and there's
nothing else out there. But to me, there's something bigger brewing
in them:'
Whatever and wherever that "something bigger" is, Perry will find
it. That's what she does. That's who she is-impervious to failure,
an indomitable force to be reckoned with. Even an old boys' club
industry known for its sexism has failed to hold her back. Why:'
FEATUREStCOV
E'SA BUNCH
OFFUCKING
F-NAKED
SINGING
A BUNCH
J THEWOMEN
OFTHE
THEY'RE
THINKING,
BUTI
KING
HEADS
OUTOFTHEIR
RTGETTING
BACK
TOWHEN
TUALLY
SAYING
SOMETHING.
NGTOSEE."
:i:
>
How?"Maybe it's because I don't give a fuck. Maybe too many peo~
ple focus on who they are and what people perceive of them. And
maybe I just don't care;' Perry muses."So maybe people are holding
me back in some way-or have tried-and I just don't see it because
I'm blind to that kind of negativity. I just don't care, because that
kind of way doesn't deserve any kind of energy given to it. And I
think some of the problem has always been that people give way too
much energy and power to ignorance. That's why it sustains:'
Being one of the few female producer/ engineers in a heavily
male~dominated world is just the way it is to Perry. She's doing what
she does, unconcerned with what other women are-or aren'tdoing with their lives:''.AllI know is that there's a bunch of fucking
women running around half~naked singing a bunch of crap. I don't
know what the women of the world are up to and what they're
thinking, but I wish they'd get their fucking heads out of their fuck~
ing assholes and start getting back to when women were strong and
actually saying something. That would be a nice thing to see:'
But that's not a fight Perry's interested in. She picks her battles,
because she understands what's at stake in the winning and the
losing. When it comes to marriage equality, even though she wedded
Sara Gilbert earlier this year, Perry wants the battle lines to be
drawn more clearly: "What, exactly,are we fighting for? To have a
piece of paper that says we're married, just like allthe other straight~
ies out there-who end up in divorce, who beat their wives, who
murder their husbands, who abandon their children? Is that what
we're fighting for? Or are we fighting for something greater? Do we
want to be the average straight American Christian? No. I don't. I
love being different:'
She continues, "Now, we're constantly fighting for many things.
We're fighting to keep kids in school. We're fighting to feed starving
children. We're fighting to stop rape. We're fighting HIV. We're
fighting to keep this planet alive. So which one is greater-the fight
to get married or the fight to be alive and stay alive on this planet?
I'm not saying anything negative. I'm just saying, 'Think about the
fight:" (lindaperry.com) •
OCTOBER
2014
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I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
ELECTRONICDUO
UH HUH HERTAKE
THEIR UNIQUE
BRAND OF DANCEPOP TO THE MASSES,
TOURING WITH A
NEW RECORD.
BY JANELLE SORENSON
AND MELANY JOY BECK
64
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2014
amila Grey and Leisha Hailey flop down onto a broken
couch above the Triple Rock
Social Club in Minneapolis.
The two have recently hit the
road in support of their third
full-length
album,
Future
Souls, and they can't wait to get
your body on the dance floor.
'Tm excited to play all the new music;'
Hailey says.
Instead of a traditional opening act, Grey
and Hailey have enlisted Brooklyn DJ Kim
Anh to support them on tour, a move they
attribute to their desire to create an atmosphere more in line with the trance-like
house party vibe of the album. "I always say
that it's pop music on Nyquil;' says Grey
about Future Souls. "They normally call it
'shoe gaze' or 'dark wave; but when I listen to
our music I feel like I'm in a pop haze. Its
like sedated indie pop:'
"We set out to make a dance record;'
says Hailey. "That was our intent:'
"Much like we did with Common Reaction [their first full-length album], we
were inspired by dance music and what
was going on then. It wasn't as popular as
it is now, and we wanted to go back to that
style-beats, not a lot of live drums. Our
last album was really rock, and we were,
like, 'Let's get away from that: Even though
the guitars always seep in;' Grey says. "I
would do a lot of analog synths and synths
you can buy online, so it would force us
into that direction:'
"I learned a lot about that too;' says
Hailey, buttoning her denim vest. "It was
fun because we could work at different
times. If Cam stayed up later than me, or
if I got up before her, we could go into the
studio and hear what the other one did
and play with it:'
Taking full advantage of a home studio,
the two found new ways to make music.
"Yeah, Leisha was learning how to program drums and this cool RMX plug-in
and stuff. Really going for that sound:'
"Cam will always keep it deep, and I will
try to do the little happy things;' says Hailey. "Not happy things, but the little moments and things. I do the little moments:'
"You add little moments?" asks Grey,
laughing. The two admit that without each
other they might have quit making music
long ago. "I have moments where I want to
go be a gardener:'
Grey and Hailey worked on Future Souls
the same way they tackled the
release of 2011's Nocturnes,
independent
of majodabel
F S
support and relying primarily on their own small team of
people. They acknowledge that
being a true indie band has its
pros and cons. "I like having
structure, so for this we had
to structure ourselves, because
we didn't have The Man saying,
'Hey, get this done: We had to
really set our own schedules.
That's what's hard for me as an
indie musician, because it usu-
66
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
u tjJ
TU
U L
RS
E
ally takes teams to get that stuff going and
it was just us and, like, four other people;'
Grey says.
"Nocturnes was our learning curve-we
knew what we did wrong that time and
what we needed to do better;' says Hailey.
"There's good and bad sides to everything:'
Setting off on their biggest tour to date
in support of Future Souls, the band is
booked into cities that they've missed on
previous tours. The length of the tour, as
well as the stops in new places, provide
them with the opportunity to reach fans
who haven't seen Uh Huh Her live before.
This includes stops at all-age venues, giving underage fans a unique opportunity to
catch their show.
The long-distance driving, hotel beds,
and sketchy road food are all hazards of
such a journey, but Uh Huh Her welcomes the opportunity to connect with
fans. "I love seeing the weather, the seasonal change. Also, I like meeting people.
It reminds you that we live in a bubble in
L.A., and it's nice to get out and see the
rest of America;' Grey says.
Hailey agrees. "It gets you out of your
daily routine, where it's summer every
single day:'
The plan for this tour is to play through
most, if not all, of the songs on Future
Souls. Though Grey aptly describes the record as sedated, it's also a sexy, beat-driven
ride through hazy electro-pop, with memorable hooks and dance-inducing rhythm.
The pair's real-life love may have something to do with what's sexy about it.
'Tm really close to the songs I wrote
called 'Bullet' and 'Strange Design: Those
are my two babies;' Grey says.
"I would say that my two biggest ones
are 'Strange Design' and the lyrics of'Nuthin Without Your Love;" says Hailey.
Looking back on the years since the
band's inception in 2007, Hailey admits, "I
think a lot of bands would have packed it
in, going through what weve gone through:'
They credit the band's loyal fans for
sticking by them and inspiring Future
Souls. 'Tm proud that we can release an
album and it can still make a splash;' Grey
says."lt can still chart, with no help or promotions. Our fans are a giant testament
to that. You can't put a monetary figure
on that. If they weren't there, we literally
couldn't do anything. They keep us floating around as a band. I love that-and
I
can't think a lot of bands have it:'
Despite the challenges of being truly independent, and all the weeks on the road,
there's a huge payback when Grey and
Hailey get on stage. "There's the moment
where you're playing a live
show and you look into the
audience and everyone is happy. That is the time that it feels
great, and the rest just leads
up to that. It's the tiniest bit of
appreciation that keeps people
like us going;' Grey says.
It's obvious by the smiling faces of the fans at this
nearly sold-out show that
this band is more than appreciated. At this club-and
on this tour-they
are loved.
( uhhuhher.com) •
•
~
MY EUROPEAN
ADVENTURE.
BY FLETCHERDELANCEY
the
email began, "I just finished reading your Past
Imperfect story ... " It was
February 2005 and I was
leading a double life. To my family,
friends, and coworkers, I appeared to be a
happily married straight American woman with a nice little house and a great job.
To my readers online, I was the author of a
successful fanfic book series based on Star
Trek: Voyager, with original characters and
a decidedly lesbian take on the franchise.
My online life was going great. My real
one was silently coming apart as I began
to accept that writing lesbian fiction was
not really the creative outlet I'd told myself
it was. It was an outlet, period, because I
had no other safe way of processing these
feelings.
And then came this email from a reader
in Portugal. Maria was intelligent, funny,
articulate, and well-read, not to mention
a geeky science-type like me. We became
instant pen-pal friends, and our correspondence covered everything from art
to politics to who was hotter, Katharine
Hepburn or Greta Garbo. (Katharine.)
Oh, and sexuality. We talked about sexuality quite a bit, because Maria lived 5,000
miles away and was therefore the safest
person in the world to talk to. There wasn't
a chance I'd ever meet her, so I felt free to
tell her everything. And she understood.
As it turned out, she had also been happily
married-and
had a young son from that
union-but eventually realized that she was
gay. Now she was sharing custody with her
ex and living a whole new life.
I had so many questions.
Of course it didn't take long before my
questions became rather personal. She
answered those, too. Over the course of
daily emails and the most raw honesty I'd
ever experienced in a relationship, friendly
or otherwise, I realized that I was falling
in love with a woman I'd never met. And
since I was already lying by omission every
day in my real life, I couldn't handle lying
by omission to my online friend as well. So
I wrote her an email that made my hands
sweat, and then I shed years off my life
waiting for her answer.
It came in 20 minutes flat, and the first
words were "Thank God:' She had been
trying to figure out how to ask me the
same thing.
That was May 2005, when I blew my
double life apart. I told my husband every~
thing, and arranged to meet the woman I'd
thought was so safe and unreachable. We
first saw each other in Lisbon Airport, and
by the end of the day I no longer had the
slightest doubt about my sexuality. I was
really, truly in love for the first time, and it
wasn't with my husband.
Two weeks later, I flew back home and
confirmed to my waiting husband that yes,
I was definitely a lesbian. Three months af
ter that, our divorce was final. And one year
later, I hugged my parents good~bye and
stepped onto a plane, with a one~way ticket
to Lisbon in my hand.
Portugal surprised me in many ways. I
thought it would be solidly conservative;
after all, that's what my travel guides said,
and everyone knows it's a Catholic nation.
Turns out, it's not. Catholicism is certainly
the most prevalent religion, but since the
197 4 Carnation Revolution gave way to a
brand new national constitution, the wall
between church and state has been quite
solid. In fact, the Portuguese find it very
odd that practically every U.S. politician
making an official speech ends with "God
bless America:' That's simply not done
here. God is in the church, not in the gov~
ernment. Sessions of Parliament would
never open with a prayer.
Something else the constitution forbids:
putting the civil rights of minority citizens
up to a popular vote. It also forbids discrim~
ination based on sexual orientation. And
right after I arrived, Portugal had a national
referendum to legalize abortion. It passed.
I think those travel guides might have
been confused about which nation was the
conservative one.
One thing I instantly adapted to was the
compact design of Portuguese towns and
cities. Suburban sprawl is almost unknown
t;l
I
I
\
\
here, and cities are built on the neighbor~
hood plan. Tiny grocery stores abound, as
do cafes, and you never have to walk far to
find a post office, a bakery, a bank, or any~
thing else you might need. And people do
walk, because parking is such a pain in the
butt (thanks to streets that were laid out
in the horse~and~cart days), so pedestrians
reign supreme. The outrageously expen~
sive gas means that everyone drives small
cars. When I go back to the U.S. for visits,
I'm invariably shocked by the total lack of
pedestrians, and the gigantic vehicles that
wouldn't even be able to enter some of the
streets here. And the acres and acres of park~
ing lots. Land is at a premium in Portugal, so
parking lots are built underground. I think
that ought to be a global requirement.
But I still love going back, because one
thing Portugal (and western Europe in gen~
eral) lacks is wilderness. I'm a western worn~
an; I grew up in sight of mountains with
permanent snowcaps, and hiking trails that
go for days without any signs of human hab~
itation. You'd have to drive a very long way to
find that here.
Also, I desperately miss Mexican food.
I entered Portugal on a one~year stu~
dent visa, the only legal means by which we
could share our lives. For three more years, I
dreaded those visa renewals, which required
reams of paperwork, a different process ev~
ery year, and no guarantee that this wouldn't
be the year some bureaucrat said, "Waaiiit
a minute .. :' There is no stress quite like
the stress of knowing that your family and
home can be taken away from you with the
simple stroke of a pen.
It's hard to remember how bad that was,
because everything is so different now. Our
whole world changed in just a few years.
Maria was active in Portugal's oldest
and largest LGBT association, which was
working very hard to gain equal marriage
rights and making impressive progress.
Neighboring Spain had already legalized
same~sex marriage in 2005, which set the
precedent in southern Europe. The Neth~
erlands and Belgium were of course the
first ones out of the blocks (in 2001 and
2003, respectively), but it was Spain's pas~
sage that stirred up the politics in Portugal.
A project of law (think "bill" in the U.S.)
was brought to the floor of Parliament for
discussion, a process that takes months,
and things looked hopeful this time. Two
attempts in 2006 had already failed, but
the political winds were blowing differently in 2009-10. Gay rights was getting a lot
of press and public discussion at the time,
and the LGBT association asked us if we'd
be willing to be interviewed by one of Portugal's largest newspapers, with the intent
of putting real names and faces to the issue.
We had a long talk about that. It meant
a very public coming out for Maria, who
is a professor at the University of Algarve.
More than that, it meant exposing our then9-year-old son to the public knowledge that
he had two moms.
But if we wanted our son to live in a
country where his moms were safe and
legally protected, and where his family
couldn't be torn apart with a simple visa
denial, we needed to take some risks. We
agreed to the interview, and sweated bullets waiting to see how it came out.
Our photo was on the front page, and
another photo and our interview took up
the entirety of page four. It was a lot more
visibility than we'd expected. And yet it
made no difference in our day-to-day lives.
Our neighbors didn't suddenly treat us
differently, Maria heard only supportive
words at the university, and our son didn't
get bullied for his odd family. We were as
out as could be, and nobody cared.
Looking back, I think now that we
shouldn't have been surprised. For one thing,
we live in southern Portugal, which is more
liberal than its northern hal£ But more than
that, Portuguese culture is a very family-oriented, very private. The Portuguese consider it rude to stick their noses in somebody
else's personal life, and equally rude to parade their own beliefs. There are no bumper
stickers trumpeting someone's choice of religion, no signs in windows declaring their
political or social beliefs. Whatever people
might believe privately, they were not going to give us the stink eye because we lived
differently. In fact, the only overt personal
prejudice I've ever experienced as an out lesbian came from my own family. It has never
impacted our lives in Portugal.
When my adopted nation legalized
same-sex marriage, in June 2010, we wished
we could get married but ... we already were.
Back in 2008, when Portugal's government had already failed twice to approve
equal marriage rights, we couldn't imagine
that things would turn around so quickly,
and we didn't want to wait. So we married
in the one nation in the entire world that
would allow it-the
one nation that not
only offered equal marriage rights, but had
no citizenship or residency requirements
for the marriage license. That was Canada.
We had an outdoor ceremony in Victoria,
B.C., overlooking the Strait of Juan de
Fuca and the Olympic Mountains. It had
no real legal value at the time, but it meant
everything to us.
One of my best wedding memories occurred here in Portugal, several weeks earlier. I was taking language lessons from a
private tutor, and she was a very proper, very
devout Catholic, with a large portrait of
Mary in her hallway. It was my last lesson
from her before she went on vacation, and
I approached her nervously to ask a favor. I
was getting married to the woman I loved,
I told her, and I wanted to say my vows in
Portuguese. Would she please look them
over and help me correct any mistakes?
She smiled at me and said, "Parabens;'
which means "congratulations;' and then
she told me that God is love, and she could
never understand why anyone would speak
out against love. She read my vows, helped
me fix a few words, and sent me home with
blurry eyes.
Two years after our wedding, Portugal
passed its own law and we were able to
register our Canadian marriage with the
Portuguese government. I immediately
got a residency permit based on the citizenship of my wife, and we breathed easy
for the first time.
Our son is almost 14 years old now, and
barely remembers a time when I wasn't
here. Recently we had a chat in which
I told him that he started out as Maria's
son, then became my stepson, but now I
consider him my own son. He answered
that he considered us both his moms and
gave me a big hug, which is surely the most
important acceptance of all.
These days I'm a full-time writer andeditor, with a novella (Mac vs. PC) published
by Ylva Publishing and The Caphenon, the
first novel in my Chronicles of Alsea science
fiction series, coming out next spring. I'm
still writing fiction about strong, stubborn,
intelligent women-the
kind I'd love to
meet-just as I was back in 2005.
The difference is, now I'm married to one
of them.•
..
FILMMAKERMELISSA HOWDEN FINDS RESPITE
IN AN ARTISTICNEW MEXICO COMMUNITY.
PHOTOGRAPHY
BY PATTIE TRAYNOR
FEATURES/
rtist, writer, filmmaker, and activist Melissa Howden has spent
over two decades working in
politics, culture, education, and
the arts. Currently the associate director of Every Woman's
Leadership at Bioneers, she is
based in Northern California and moves
between there and New Mexico, where
her family roots go back three generations.
Howden owns the vacation rental Casa
Betita, and Curve caught up with her to
discuss the lesbian oasis that is Taos and
the "heart home" she has there.
What initially drew you to Taos? How
did you discover it?
My parents and grandparents were all
born and raised in various parts of New
Mexico and my great-grandparents lived
the majority of their lives in New Mexico. So I have deep roots here. As a child,
I spent most of my summers with my paternal grandmother in Santa Fe. It was always in my mind that one day I would find
an old adobe house to restore. Because I'd
TRA
spent so much time in Santa Fe, I thought
it might be there. However, a family friend
who was born and raised in Taos knew of
my dream and told me about this house. I
had spent time skiing in Taos-and Taos
is more like Santa Fe used to be when I
was young. So, really, in many ways the
house found me.
been home to a number of generations,
and the family was sad to see it go. I felt
the call to be the steward of this home,
with its 100-plus-year-old willow tree in
the front yard. In fact, the house was in
such disrepair that when my brother saw
it he quipped, "You must have bought the
house for the tree:'
How did you settle upon Casa Betita,
and what shape was it in when you
first purchased it?
The house is situated on a half acre in
what is the oldest placita in Taos. It had
been in the same family for over 100 years.
The family matriarch had just died. Because she had such an extended family,
she stipulated in her will that the house
needed to be sold. The house was in grave
disrepair. It had three roofs, none of which
worked. The living room had very old
wood paneling and very dirty old carpeting. The kitchen had several layers of old
vinyl going up the walls. One bedroom
had a dirt floor and a boarded-up window.
All the same, I was aware that this had
What were the challenges, discoveries, and joys of repairing and renovating the house?
I completely restored the house, keeping
all the original 2-foot-thick adobe walls.
Since I had to replace the roo£ at the suggestion of my father, who was 6 foot 5, I
raised the roof a foot. To open up the living
area we removed one wall. My favorite part
of the house is the 10-foot-deep portal on
two sides of the house, which I added. Because I have a small but mighty Jack Russell, I added an 8-foot coyote fence around
the property. The house is close to the Rio
Pueblo, which is a gathering place for coyotes in the evening. Because I love my dog, I
built the fence so she would be safe.
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
77
Honestly, I had no real idea of what it
would take to restore the house, but I could
clearly see what it could be. People who saw
the house in its original state thought I was
crazy. Had I known what it would take,
I might have been scared off, but then I
would not have this beautiful home. So this
was a true case of ignorance is bliss. Really,
there were no nightmares in the renovation.
It was all joyful, a great big art project. I
worked with a wonderful family-a father
and his three sons, who are from Talpa,just
south of Taos. They really know old adobes
and what they need. I designed it and they
did the work, although I did do the stone~
work in the showers. A local craftsman
from just down the road did all the beau~
tiful woodwork-the
cabinets, the front
door, and the custom dining room table.
One of my favorite parts was choosing the
colors of the plaster for the walls. A won~
derful artist who is a lesbian-Jamie Ashcreated all the colors. Going to her studio
and choosing from racks and racks of colors
was divine fun. To honor the history of the
house, I made a table out of one of the old
doors. I used old trastera doors for an in~
wall cabinet topped by an inlay from part
of an old bed frame. When the restoration
was complete, I had a party for the neigh~
borhood and the people who worked on
the house. Several of the daughters of the
woman who had owned the house came to
the party. They gave me their blessing, say~
ing with tears in their eyes that their moth~
er would be so happy that I had the house.
Every year I try to do one more thing on
the yard. Fruit trees one season, a deck an~
other. This year my hollyhocks finally grew.
Aside from a small aspen grove, the front of
the house has not really been changed. The
willow tree is enough for me right now.
When did you decide to make it a
vacation rental?
I lived in the house for the first two years
after I completed it. The combination of a
failed love affair and the lack of work for me
in Taos called me back to the San Francisco
Bay Area. So in order to keep the house I
prepared it as a vacation rental, while work~
ing to maintain it as a home for me when~
ever I am able to be here. I have it listed on
VRBO, HomeAway, and Flipkey/TripAd~
visor. About four years ago, I started rent~
ing it in this way. I have had great people
come to the house and many of them have
returned several times. I feel lucky that all
my guests, with only two exceptions, have
been wonderful and have loved the house
as if it were their own.
Describe Taos' lesbian community.
Taos has been home to lesbians for a long
time. Taos draws women of all orientations
who are independent and unique-think
Mabel Dodge Luhan, Agnes Martin, Geor~
gia O'Keefe, Millicent Rogers, Lady Dor~
othy Brett, and Bea Mandelman, to name
a few. Long before I was here, there were
lesbians out on the mesa building their own
homes, but I don't believe there was much
of an organized community, such as weve
78
CURVE
OCTOBER
2014
experienced on the coasts, until recently.
In Taos, if your family has not lived here
for several hundred years, you are always a
newcomer. When I was living in Taos, with
the help of a committee I took on the pro~
duction of a benefit for the Equity Fund of
the Taos Community Foundation, bringing
my old friend Kate Clinton to Taos. We
raised funds to benefit a number of orga~
nizations serving the LGBT community
in Taos. Since then, a PFLAG chapter has
been formed, as well as the Taos Pride or~
ganization.
What are three things women visiting
Taos should experience?
Some of my favorite places are Taos
Pueblo, the Treehouse Bar at Lambert's,
and rafting the Taos Box with Los Rios
River Runners. My friend Mary Domito
and I teamed up to produce Mary Gauthier
in concert over Taos Pride weekend, Au~
gust 14th to 16th this year. I've been pro~
ducing concerts and events for years, Mary
has been producing a number of shows in
Taos, and we have always wanted to work
together. We hope in the coming years to
bring a number of shows to Taos.
STAYATCASA BETITA
Named for Betta, the grandmother
Howden spent her childhood summers
with, Casa Betita is available to rent,
but hurry! The summer months and the
winter holidays book up six months in
advance. (casabetita.com)
FEATURES/
Trip
BEACHES,
BONFIRES
AND
BABES
TRA
O t!
For 25 years,
the Women's
Traveller has
listed women's
clubs, resorts,
cruises, tours &
more, across the
US, Europe &
beyond.
call today for 20% off!
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Find Gurl Scout in iTunes.
415/255-0404
www.damron.com
THE POPULARFALL GETAWAYRETURNSTO
SEASIDE,OREGON. BY MELANIE BARKER
EDEN Pacific Northwest, the 4-day women's festival,
is back on Oregon's North Coast, October 2 - 5, 2014.
This is the second year women and their friends
will gather in Seaside, Oregon for the classic queer
girlfriend getaway in the great outdoors exploring
the Northern Oregon coast. Styled as a relaxing girls'
getaway, EDEN PNW will be about enjoying the beach,
unwinding in the open air and making new friends.
Guests will enjoy live entertainment, music and
comedy including comic Julie Goldman, tea dances,
outdoor excursions such as hiking and clamming, and
hanging out around the beach bonfire sipping wine.
But hurry! The host hotel, the Shilo Inn and Suites
Oceanfront, is booking out fast. (edenpnw.com)
InstantAccessto the
Nation'sTopGay&
LesbianRealtors.
OCTOBER
2014
CURVE
79
TLOOKJSTARS
Autumn Outings
We're entering autumn, but there is spring in your step as Venus
in flirtatious Libra and Mars in randy Sagittarius create luscious
opportunities. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Libra (Sept 24-0ct 23)
Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19)
You are the shining center
of attention, Libra. Make the
most of your moment in the
sun by meeting, greeting and
sweeping a certain influential
Girlfriends tempt you with
exotic adventures this October
so take a risk and prepare to
be amazed. Go far afield, seek
exotic stimulation and spicy
entertainment. Aqueerians on
the prowl, expect to meet a
bevy of beauties in some far off
someone off her feet. Have a
great idea that needs a push?
The cosmos gives you the
%
(September 24- %
October 23) %
Libra is a babe magnet. %
%
Blessed with innate charm
%
and sex appeal, her only %
concern is choosing %
among the favored few %
for her favors. She is %
often swayed by a pretty %
face and great bod %
%
(but hey, who wouldn't
%
be ...?) and has a rather %
large sweet tooth for %
decadent desserts (no %
names please ...). She is, %
ahem, a flexible lover. %
This means that not only %
is she somewhat of an %
%
accomplished acrobat, but
%
is also rather experimental. %
Her list of lovergrrls %
spans a wide variety of %
personality and body %
types. What she lacks in %
spontaneity, she amply %
%
makes up for in delicious
%
variety. Love is quite an %
adventure
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
%
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is the author %
of HerScopes:
A Guide
to Astrology%
forLesbians
(Simon& Schuster)- %
%
tinyurl.
com/HerScopes.
%
LIBRA %
oomph you need to get things
started. So don't sit home and
corner of the world.
wait for a knock on the door.
Blow your door off its hinges.
Pisces (Feb 20-March 20)
Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov 22)
Mystery surrounds you this
October, Scorpio. How can
you make this work for you,
especially in financial matters?
Are you able to divine the
best investment opportunity
or is your crystal ball full of
fog? When in doubt, seek the
comforting advice of a wellendowed benefactress. Who
cares if she has no money!
Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 22)
You are a firecracker with
a short fuse and ready to
explode on the social scene.
How can you spread your pent
up energy? Let me count the
ways. October offers you a
grand tour of the social terrain
with all of its highways, byways
and occasional potholes to
keep things interesting. Press
80
CURVE
OCTOBER
~
2014
Maybe it will take the form
of a great culinary feast,
maybe you will paint your
masterpiece or maybe it will
be a combination of bothbody painting with food. Now
that is inspirational!
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
You are a business hot shot this
October but your ambitions
might eclipse other areas of
Plan a few home-based headto-heads this October. You are
an extraordinary hostess with
your life. You burn for power,
influence and money but it
comes down to a balancing
act. Will you tip over as you
burn the midnight oil? Empty
your "in box" and slide into
your "out box," Guppie. Life is
too short and she is impatient.
the mostess and the ladies
will flock to your door. Things
can get hot and heavy before
you realize it. Relationships
form and formalize. Enjoy
the connections. Life is one
big bowl of cherries for you
Cancer. Hmm, how do you
know so many?
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Leo (July 24-Aug 23)
You have more than your
fair share of sweet and sassy
charisma. Turn it on, rev it up
and use it to sweep the lady of
Lionesses know how to give
out a great roar this October.
Let the masses know who you
are and what you stand for.
your dreams off her feet. Once
you have her where you want
her, plan a great adventure
that includes some side trips
You have great charisma and
can sway even the skeptics to
your way of thinking. Get your
grassroots efforts going. And
to explore parts unknown.
The world is your oyster this
October, Aries. Slurp it up.
while you are pawing around
the neighborhood, try some
new local hot spots and see
who you spot. Anyone we know
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
and love ...?
and impress, Sagittarius.
Work is much more satisfying
this October. Find any excuse
Virgo (Aug 24-Sept 23)
Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 20)
to hang around the office after
hours. Someone has her eye
I
Nowavailableas anebook.
month, Gemini. Inspiration
strikes at every opportunity.
Ambitious Caps find the
A fool and her money are
soon parted but a woman
who knows how to spend her
money is soon partied. Spend
perfect way to make their big
corporate move this October.
Fate places you where you
can rub-a-dub with the big
boss, and she likes what she
sees. There is nothing sexier
than a woman on top. Timing
is essential so you can fully
capitalize on all your hard
on you and is ready to make
her move. Things could heat
up and around the office coffee
machine. It might also give you
extra time to finish off a few
things on your "to do" list. To
work. You have been working
hard, haven't you?
Give full reign to your innate
as well as a few other grains.
So start baking and stop
creativity and artistry this
stewing, Virgo.
do what or who Taurus?
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
wisely and well this October.
There are places to go, ladies
to meet and investments to be
made. Careful planning now
can reap big benefits later. It is
the time for feeling your oats
\\\\_~
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IILESBIAN
HEAVEN!
LOV~~A~
AGREAT
READ,
ARTICLEiAI~~~~'N
FASHION
LOADS
OFC
TASTICI
PLUS
PLENJiiE~J
ISSUES
LESBIAN
HEARTBRE:
GEO
US
...FAB!"KERS
...
i
DO
YOU
HAVE
ATABLE
~
llelenB.
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