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issue
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1
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Date Issued
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January-February 2014
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol24_No1_January-February-2014_OCR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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NOUREEN DEWULF ERIN FOLE
,
FRANCESCA GREGORINI
ELLING LESBIAN MAGAZINE
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ADVISORS
Changing laws
changed their lives
The recent Supreme Court ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act led
Jane and Diane to take a serious look at their investment planning needs.
The rapidly changing legal landscape meant it was crucial that they
worked with someone who was knowledgeable, so they turned to Wells Fargo
Advisors. Our Financial Advisors who have the Accredited Domestic
Partnership AdvisorsM (ADPA®) designation are well-versed on the current
set of challenges, so Jane and Diane walked away with a solid plan and
confidence in the future.
Let's talk about your long-term investment planning needs. Because when
people talk, great things happen. To fmd one of our ADPA-certified Financial
today.
Advisors in your area, visit wellsfargoadvisors.com/adpa
Together we'll go far
WellsFargo
Advisors
isthetradenameusedbytwoseparate
registered
broker-dealers:
Wells
Fargo
Advisors,
LLC,
andWells
Fargo
Advisors
Financial
Network,
LLC,
Members
SIPC,
non-bank
affiliates
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areservice
marks
oftheCollege
forFinancial
Planning®.
ofWellsFargo
&Company.
Accredited
Domestic
Partnership
Advisor
© 2013
WellsFargo
Advisors,
LLC,
Member
SIPC.
Allrightsreserved.
ECG-1139638.2
JAN/FEB
2014
THE TRUTH ABOUT
FRANCESCA GREGORI NI
The lesbian filmmaker
reveals her personal
side through film.
By Rachel Shatto
~3
COME PLAY WITH ME
Hot artistic undies in the
latest styles.
~s
DOUBLE TROUBLE
Up close and personal with
UK pop duo RednPink.
By Stella & Lucy
50
LOVE IS GOING
Photographer S
captures the b~st I
weddings of they
By Kristen Youngs
2
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
COVER PHOTO BY DENNIS HO
JAN/FEB
2014
Marriage
is SO
gay
y'all
12
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
IN EVERYISSUE
6
EDITOR'S NOTE
8
FEEDBACK
9
CURVETTES
10
THE GAYDAR
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
TRENDS
REVIEWS
11 THIS IS WHAT A
LESBIAN LOOKS LIKE
Our monthly profile of the
hottest and most talented
queer girls around.
27 FILM
An exploration of how and
why we have sex in the
documentary Subjectified.
12 GIFT GUIDE
Our monthly selection of
gorgeous gifts for your girl.
29 MUSIC
Meet Chastity Brown, the out
lesbian banjo-playing soul
singer. By Melany Joy Beck
14 BEAUTY
Get ready for date night with
these gorgeous and glamourmaking products.
15
HOT TEE
16
LESBOFILE
17
SHE SAID
31 BOOKS
Dip into some winter
reading with mystery writer
Jean Eckhardt. By Trixy Flower
33 FOOD
Plan a romantic and healthy
Valentine's Day dinner with
these vegan treats.
VIEWS
18
By Elizabeth Nguyen
OUT IN FRONT
18 IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT ... News from across the
country.
34 TECH
How to take your boudoir
selfies to the next level.
Plus, our hands on with the
PlayStation 4.
19 POLITICS
Lesbian Bed Death is real!
Ladies, it's time to reclaim
our desire. By Victoria A.
Brownworth
21 THE TWO OF US
Our monthly profile of captivating lesbian couples who
live, love and work together.
23
LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
25
TRUTH OR DARE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
3
Curve's online selection of must-do, must-try, must-have extras.
REACHINGFORTHE MOON
The most romantic and complex lesbian film of this
year is Reaching for the Moon, starring Miranda Otto
MORE POWERTO YOU
and Gloria Pires. This sensitive and lush film directed
The holidays are over for another year, but
by Bruno Barreto chronicles the passionate and
many of us are still holding on to their
difficult love affair between Pultizer Prize-winning poet
memories in the form of some added pounds.
Elizabeth Bishop and brilliant Brazilian architect Lota
For those of us who gleefully indulged over
de Macedo Soares. Special Offer: 15% off for Curve
the holiday season (after all, what are holidays
readers courtesy of Wolfe Video. Use Promo Code
for?), we have the remedy for you-our
CURVE15 to get 15% off the DVD when you order direct
resident fitness buff Kristen Youngs gives us
from WolfeVideo.com (offer expires April 1, 2014).
the top five power moves for blasting away
Women and the
Word: THE REVIVAL
Documentary Film is
coming to theaters
in 2014, and prior
to the release, we'll
ask director Sekiya
Dorsett to tell us a bit
about her film. THE
REVIVALis a traveling
poetry tour for queer
women of color,
and in 2012 a film
crew followed these
women to document
their experiences.
Dorsett describes the
movie as "a historic
moment for queer
artists, women
filmmakers, and
black cinema."
the added pounds. Do them at home, at the
office or at the gym. Regardless of where you
fit them in, they're sure to get you back in
fighting form (or better).
THE BESTOF 2013
It has been a great year for lesbian media! With that said, it only seems
fitting that we put together a compendium of the year's shiniest albums,
movies, TV shows, books and web series. See if your favorites make it into
our Best of 2013, and get a glimpse of what you've been missing from the
cream of the crop.
4
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
TheFloridaKeys
KeyWest
Close To Perfect - Far From Normal
RONT!MERRYN'S
MEMO
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
TheNaked
Trudt
sexually unfulfilled woman overcomes her inability to orgasm with
the help of a high-class lesbian escort in A PerfectEnding. A lesbian
housewife overcomes her suburban dissatisfaction by becoming
a high-class lesbian escort in Concussion.A sexually ambivalent
adolescent discovers her desire by falling in love with a lesbian art
student in Blue Is the Warmest Color.A Brazilian architect and an American poet
fall in love and inspire each other to create their best work in Reachingfor the Moon.
Yes, 2013 was the sexiest year in lesbian cinema, and whether or not you consider
these films to be "lesbian;' or define their
endings as "happy;' there is no doubt that
these excellent films all bring to the screen
the transformative power of lesbian desire.
This is our Sex & Romance issue
and in it we also celebrate the power of
lesbian sexuality across culture, whether
it's in music, films, books, fashion-or,
of course, adult entertainment (we invite
A
you behind the scenes for a taste of the
latest erotic blockbuster for lesbians).
Most of us can say that, in one way or
another, discovering our sexual identities
opened up our true destinies. And just
as movies dramatize human possibility
through storytelling, so magazines offer us
innovative and aspirational views of our
experiential selves.
2013 was transformative for Curve.
We launched our digital edition, and this month subscribers will be greeted with a
new and improved version, with extended content, more interactivity, and enhanced
navigation-to
meet the increasing demand for a more sophisticated digital
experience. To achieve this goal, our 10 issues per year will now be eight-with
two double issues. It's our way of guaranteeing that 2014 will be as good a year for
lesbian publishing as 2013 was for lesbian cinema. Happy New Year-and Happy
Valentine's Day!
!z
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
merryn@curvemag.com
JAN/FEB
2014
»
LESBIAN
VOLUME
MAGAZINE
24 NUMBER
PUBLISHERSilke Bader
FOUNDINGPUBLISHER Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
EDITORIN CHIEF Merryn Johns
MANAGINGEDITOR Rachel Shatto
COPY EDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Jillian Eugenios, Sheryl Kay, Stephanie
Schroeder
EDITORIAL
ASSISTANTCygnus Fogle, Mia Manns, Kristen Youngs
PROOFREADERElizabeth Harper
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONS Jeannie Sotheran
EVENTS& MEDIA RELATIONSCOORDINATORRobin Perron
ADVERTISING
CURVE'SMEDIA KIT ourmediakit.com
NATIONALSALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
BUSINESSDEVELOPMENT
Sallyanne Monti (510) 545-4986, sallyanne@curvemag.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ART DIRECTOR Graham Jones, Meghan Musalo
PRODUCTIONARTIST Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Jenny Block, Adam L.
Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Traci
Dinwiddie, Maria De La 0, Elizabeth Estochen, Jill
Goldstein, Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall, Kim Hoffman,
Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Jess
McAvoy, Emelina Minero, Laurie K. Schenden, Stephanie
Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson, Rosanna Rios-Spicer, Allison
Steinberg, Stella & Lucy, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Yana
Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce, Tina Vasquez, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Alex Styles, Meagan Cignoli,
Sophia Hantzes, Janet Mayer, Syd London, Cheryl Mazak,
Maggie Parker, Robin Roemer, Leslie Van Stelten
CONTACT INFO
Curve Magazine
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PHONE(415) 871-0569
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Volume 24 Issue 1 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published 8 times
per year by Avalon Media, LLC, PO Box 467, New York NY 10034,
Subscription price: $59.90/year, $59.90 Canadian (U.S. funds
only) and $89,95 international (U.S. funds only). Returned checks
will be assessed a $25 surcharge. Periodicals postage paid
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(USPS 0010-355), Contents of Curve Magazine may not be
reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part, without
written permission from the publisher. Publication of the name
or photograph of any persons or organizations appearing,
advertising or listing in Curve may not be taken as an indication
of the sexual orientation of that individual or group unless
specifically stated, Curve welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited
manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE for response. Lack of any
representation only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions
cannot be returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope
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Subscription Inquiries: Please write to Curve, Avalon Media LLC.,
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CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
1
5 DAYS OF EVENTS FOR WOMEN
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Thebestcomment
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could Posts from our
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digital
subscription! facebook.com/cu rvemag
and, I hope, will facilitate
acceptance for individuals and
couples that are not stereotypical. Thank you Curve for
sharing Taipei with the world.
-Karen, Taipei,Taiwan
Vay for Taipei
Relaxing in my Tienmu flat,
I was thrilled to read "Out in
Taiwan" [Vol. 23#9]. A Brit,
I arrived here six and a half
years ago and fell in love with
my first girl on my first day
here! I now have a wonderful
Taiwanese girlfriend, a bunch
of fabulous friends and I
regularly go to the places you
mention. Magazines such as
Curve offer a more comprehensive picture of lesbian life,
Inside Perspective
I just finished reading the article "Inside Out" [Vol. 23 #8]
and still have tears in my eyes.
I am in prison and am probably a "cry baby" but I am very
thankful that there are people
in the LGBT community and
in the U.S. that remember us
and recognize that our "lives
still have meaning and value"
and who support us through
our struggles. Thank you for
printing the article and thanks
to Piper Kerman for having
the courage to write Orange
Is the New Black.-Brandi
Grainger,North Carolina
Wright-ing a Wrong
I am writing to let you know
about a petition that has started
involving The Grand Ole Opry.
Country singer Chely Wright
used to sing at the Opry every
ten weeks. That is until 2010
when she came out publicly has
a lesbian. We fans have started a
petition asking The Grand Ole
Opry to invite her back. We still
need help getting the word out,
anything thing you can do to
help would be greatly appreciated. (change.org/ grandoleopry)
-David Dilsizian,via email
Rousing Russia
I was incredibly moved by
your powerful interview
with Milena Chernyavskaya
["To Russia With Love;' Vol.
23 # 10]. As the descendant
of emigres from the Soviet
Union I felt deeply for her
situation and for all Russians
who don't fit with the Russian
cultural agenda. Thank you,
Curve,for giving us a view
into this other world and
reminding us to preserve our
freedom with vigilance and
gratitude.-Victoria Nikolaeff,
Sydney,Australia
ii·i!M·································································································ii
OURFACEBOOK
FANS
SOUNDOFFONCOVER
GIRLILEAMATTHEWS
Yummy-Rebecca Kacsala
Love llea!-Tiffany Rebello
Drobny
This is absolutely smashing!
Thank you, I am completely
elated, and overcome
with feelings of straight up
fuzziness. Thank you for
showcasing lesbian digital
media, it's a new dawn, it's
a new day.-Rolla Selbak
Amazing!LOVE!-JenFoster
Super cute cover! Congrats
on the new issue!-Jenoa
Harlow
Love it!- Jes Coolbaugh
Beautiful-SusanJames
Harris
Pretty!-Af Ratsja
Adorable-Happy Jennifer
Abiseid-Owle wedding
"";::•,~ili,''"° "~~:..,,':'',c,
c::~.;!:_r/:
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11%
SonopA,~~
12%
I'vegot the basics
20%
I needLesbian101
Curve magazine,
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JANUARY/FEBRUARY
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Making Matrimonial History
My partner and I have been
together for almost three years
and were recently"wed" in
our town in Arkansas, where
it's not legal yet. We were the
first same-sex couple to have a
wedding announcement in our
local paper! Arkansas equality
groups started to pitch our
story too! It feels great to be a
part of history in the making
for marriage equality! As an
active Curve reader, I thought
I would share this with you!
Thank you for your time.
-Cyrilla Abiseid,Conway,Ark.
UPFRONTtCURVET
Stella & Lucy
FIONA DAWSON
STELLA& LUCY
MIA MANNS
DARDOWLING
Fiona is EVPof new media for
Martian Entertainment in New
York City and is working on
a reality series, TransMilitary,
about U.S. transgender military
personnel serving under the
threat of discharge. Fiona has
covered stories in India on
sex trafficking, prostitution
and HIV/AIDS and hosted
segments for here TV during
the Republican and Democratic
conventions. A graduate of the
University of Essex, U.K. with a
BSc in Psychology, she worked
in Houston in corporate social
responsibility leading diversity
and inclusion programs. She
served on the National Board
of Directors of the HRC, and
currently serves on the Board
of Directors for the National
Lesbian & Gay Journalists
Association.
Stella is an author and
published poet currently
writing a novel based on her
life and Lucy is an international
fashion lecturer at the
renowned London college of
Fashion. An unmistakable duo
in the U.K. cultural landscpe,
the couple has tirelessly
campaigned for LGBT rights,
working on the victory for
equal marriage in their
homeland of England. They are
now in the throes of planning
their own wedding, soon to
be featured in Curve. National
and international lifestyle and
fashion contributors for DIVA,
Curve, and other publications,
this fun loving couple
interviews fellow U.K. pop
pair, RednPink.
"If someone told me to choose
a passion between books
and music, I would refuse to
decide," says Mia who channels
both of her passions in this
month's Hot Licks (page 30)
and in "Between the Covers"
(page 72), reviewing The
Vagina and The Marrying Kind.
A recent English literature
graduate, perhaps budding
novelist, freelance copyeditor
and, of course, music lover,
Mia has more than one
raison d'etre, and refuses to
compromise. "Music has its
own way of telling stories;
songs tend to have narratives,
just as novels do." Currently an
editorial assistant for Curve,
she's working on breaking into
the publishing industry, one
internship at a time.
A spelunker of quizzical caves,
toppler of mediocrity and
eschewer of mores, journalisthedonist Dar was born and
raised on Staten Island. Today
she lives in Greenwich Village,
where she writes and makes art.
You'll find profiles of celebrities
and people of interest in
her writing portfolio, which
includes Jaime Murray, Zoie
Palmer, Troian Bellisario,
Stormy Leather, Cynthia
Nixon and sex expert Tristan
Taormino, along with pieces
on yoga, science fiction, porn
fitness stars, lesbian cougars
and open relationships. Right
now she's getting ready to
publish her first graphic
novel, as well as writing and
producing a feature film, both
of which include sexy, badass
lesbian and bisexual characters.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
9
NDS/
THE GAYDAR
p
~~ THEGAVDAR
Takes one to know one? Let our gaydar help
~ you decide who's hot, who's not, who's
~ shaking it and who's faking 1tin lesboland.
~
BY RACHEL SHATTO
~
Our forever imaginary
girlfriend Angelina Jolie
channels her inner sexy
villainess in Maleficent. Is
it just us, or is Maleficent's
obsession with Aurora
kinda gay? Just sayin'
Bianca, say it ain't so. The
trailblazing soap opera
All My Children is cancelled
for a second time
Tip your pint to
London's Candy
Bar, the landmark
lesbian bar closes
its doors this month
l
OK, fine-this commercial
was awkward with a capital
A, but you can't argue with
LGBT ally Macklemore's
sentiment, as the face of
Looks like there's trouble
the ACLU card
in paradise for reality TV
brides Whitney Mixter
and Sada Bettencourt
who are taking their dyke
drama to VH1's Couples
Therapy couch
ONORARY
IME
LESBIAN
MBERSHIP
Rachel Maddow
guests on The
Simpsons ...on
an unrelated
note, is it weird
to think a cartoon
character is hot?
No reason, just
curious
Hawaii says
aloha to marriage
equality, making it
the 15th state to do
so. Mahalo, Hawaii!
In super (hero) news,
bisexual bombshell Saffron
Burrows joins Agents of
S.H.I.E.LD. as openly queer
Agent Victoria Hand
The long, long
wait is over!
Just like magic
Lost Girl and
its supernatural
bisexual
shenanigans
is back
Linda Perry heads to reality
TV in The Linda Perry Project,
which focuses on relaunching
her record label and mentoring
artists. Beyond that you'll have
to tune in to see ...wait for
it ...what's goin' on (sorry
couldn't resist)
Good news Betty
lovers, looks like the
Bomb Girls movie is
locked and loaded.
See you on opening
weekend!
Suddenly the zombie
apocalype ain't looking
so bad. The Walking
Dead has added the
openly lesbian character
Tara, played by Alana
Masterson. Is it too soon
to start shipping her and
Michonne?
~
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10
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
PICKS
»
PRODUCTS
PEOPLE
»
Jennifer Newell
a.k.a Happy Jenn
The lesbian pinup model on coming out,
glamming up and finding true love.
BY HASSINA OBAIDY
I fell
in love with the queen of pinup, Ms.
Bettie Page, when I met my fiancee in
2001. Since then I had been dressing
pinup-rockabilly style on occasions ...but
it wasn't until I entered my first pinup
contest that I actually became a pinup
model. I've been published in a few
different magazines, won pinup of the
week and month titles, and I run a Pin Up
Sisters United Group where all the girls,
newbies and accomplished, can support
and encourage each other.
ONBECOMINGAPINUPMODEL:
ON BEING DIFFERENT: Aside from being
the only lesbian pinup that I know of, I
would say my realness and positive energy
set me apart from the rest of the girls.
Don't get me wrong, they are all beautiful
but I am the only me, flaws and all.
I started stripping
before I met my girlfriend. I certainly
had a few crushes on my fellow dancers
but they were much older then me. So
I actually met my first girlfriend walking
home from school. She had one of her
coworkers call me over. I assumed he
was trying to hit on me and blew him off
until he told me it was a "she" that was
interested in me. I was waiting to meet
a girl who liked girls all my life. I came
right out of the closet.
ONCOMINGOUT:
ON HER CURRENT RELATIONSHIP: My
sweetie and I will be celebrating our
lucky 13th anniversary in March. I
met her when I was only 18 and I told
' myself then that she was everything I
ever wanted. Over the years she has
/ proven to me that true love is really
about getting what you need. She has
been so patient with me, she keeps
me grounded, we haven't spent more
than two days apart since we met and
even after all these years I still miss her
every second we're apart. We've been
engaged for over 12 years and now
that it's finally legal in our state we are
getting married.
2. Revel, Revel
This ergonomic non-phallic, ball-shaped vibrator looks like a work of art or
high tech-and it's both! It offers more power and vibration plus 90 percent
less noise than conventional battery vibes thanks to its high quality, long
lasting and fast-charging lithium-ion polymer battery. The Revel Body is
comfy to hold, waterproof, and easy to adjust to just the right level of
power. ($179, goodvibes.com)
Sweet and sexy gifts to
show her how much you
love and desire her.
...................................................................................................................................................................................................
Gift Guide
3. Message in a Bottle
Show your sweetheart how much she means to
you with a personalized Message In A Bottle.
Write your own romantic message complete
with red, pink or white rose petals (optional).
($45, messageinabottle.com)
5. G Marks the Spot
4. Chemistry Kit
Spice up your love life with a Couples Chemistry Kit, customized
just for you and your girl based on responses you each give to a
confidential relationship quiz. Uncover your most desired areas for
intimacy exploration, with the top shared desire revealed when the
Love Kit arrives in the mail. Achieve greater physical and emotional
intimacy in new and exciting ways. ($129, coupleschemistry.com)
Hit her G-Spot every
time with the Slender
G Waterproof Vibrator.
This slim, firm, and
powerful multi-speed
vibe is perfect for
the bath, shower or
bedroom. The long
handle gives you room
to move while the
rounded head is angled
to reach that special
place and the twistable
base controls the speed.
($20, goodvibes.com)
~
12
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
6. Love On the Road
7.SoGay!
Just because you travel
doesn't mean you have
to leave your bedroom
essentials behind! This kit
from the Sinclair Institute
includes sachets of the
only USDA-certified, organic, chemical-free lubricant;
Glyde ethical fair trade
condoms; organic bamboo
mini towels that expand in
water; a three-speed waterproof bullet massager;
and a hemp travel bag. All
products are eco-friendly,
sustainable and vegan.
($25, sinclairinstitute.com)
The perfect fashion essen
tial for Southerners in samesex relationships, or anyone
who supports marriage
equality. This premium
cotton T-shirt offers
comfort, durability and less
shrinkage. Choose from
small to 2XL, true-to-fit sizes
for the gal or guy you love.
($20 and up, cafepress.com)
8. The Nose Knows
Love your lavatory!
Poo-Pourri is a natural,
essential oil-based
spray that knows how to
do its business, before
you do. These bathroom
sprays neutralize odors
with scents of grapefruit, meadows, spicy
sandalwood and more.
~ Spritz, flush and let
9. Red Hot Love
0
Love is love, so say it with oui'
favorite four-letter word s~fHed out
in durable resin. 2.5 inches wide
with an 18 inch gold-P, M:~d chain.
($20, cocomia.con;)''
,.1-''
C
,,,:?
4"'
d"'
,p'
10. Blooming Love
Tell her you love her with fresh flowers hand
delivered by Teleflora. Choose from a variety
of bouquets, which come in attractive and
reusable vases and containers. Use this Special
Promo Code: CURVEVDAY14for 20 percent off,
valid 1/10 to 2/14. ($30 and up, teleflora.com)
.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
11. Put a Ring On It
Proposition Love's EnGAYgement
Ring is available in yellow, rose and
white gold. A portion of proceeds
goes to organizations supporting
marriage equality and LGBT rights.
($795, propositionlove.com)
.........................................................................................................................................................................
12. Hers & Hers
•
~
Ll.,J
:c:
•
V"'
0::::
S'Well insulated, eco-friendly
bottles are great for women on
the go-working out, camping or
simply being active. The Hers &
Hers collection keeps drinks cold
for up to 24 hours in non-toxic,
ergonomically designed stainless
steel. ($35, swellbottle.com)
13. Bonding Exercise
We love this hand stamped jewelry and repurposed
leather cuffs with embossed copper plates featuring
meaningful mottoes. Designed and made by lesbian
musicians Martine Locke and Jamie Price, they're the
perfect gift for your muse. ($30 and up, inthislifenow.com)
,.................................................................................................................
LU
::c:
··················································································································································:
15. Spice it Up
Instead of a box of chocolates we suggest a more sinful box
of treats: LELO'sAdore Me Pleasure Set. This bountiful set
of goodies features Silk and Suede Sutra Chainlink Cuffs, an
lntima Silk Blindfold and LELO's Mia 2 vibe. It's everything you
need to say J'adore and more, more, more. ($159, lelo.com)
14. Little Sweetie
Why should adults have all the
fun on Valentine's Day? The Whirl
Balance Scooter from awardwinning Prince Lionheart will
have your little tyke head over
heels in love-and teach them
how to balance before transitioning to a bigger bike. A great gift
for 2-5-year-olds of any gender!
($110-$120, princelionheart.com)
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
13
.
NDS!BEAUTY
Hm•c ~cccssilics
J,cmmc l·)dalc J.'Jush
For a face that says "Hello, lover"
try Benefit's Primed for Lovin'
set which includes their lash
plumping They're Real! mascara,
skin perfecting POREfessional
balm, luminescent highlighter
High Beam and Sugarbomb
Ultra Plush lip gloss.
($42, benefitcosmetics.com)
NARS' cheekily named One Night
Stand Palette has everything you
need-including a highlighter,
bronzer and four shades of
blush-to get that just-beenkissed glow. ($65, sephora.com)
Lip Locked
Forget subtlety-vamp up your
lips with Urban Decay's Revolution
Lipstick in 69. This plumping
and moisturizing formula leaves
lips pillowy soft and primed for
smooching. ($22, urbandecay.com)
lwnf'jit
Va
Va
SUGGESTIVEHUESAND
SHIMMER MAKE FORAN
OH-SO-SEXY DATENIGHT
SHATTO
LOOK. BYRACHEL
<:urYcs \head
1
Bold eyebrows are back! Effortlessly
sculpt the perfect arch with Gelux
Eyebrow. Rich pigment highlights
the brow and waterproof gel holds it
in place. Available in eight luscious
colors. ($22, cailyncosmetics.com)
~aught~· ~ails
P1•ccious J lctals
We're crazy about Stila's edgy new Magnificent
Metals Foil Finish eye shadow in Dusty Rose.
This uber-high pigment shadow can be applied
in layers to create a variety of eye-catching
looks. ($32, stilacosmetics.com)
Hot Slut nail polish from
Cheeky Monkey is not
for the shrinking violet.
The sexy, vibrant red is as
saucy as its name-which is
exactly why we love it. ($15,
cheekymonkeycosmetics.com)
P1•cH~·Pout
Manna Kadar's lip gloss is perfect for winter
dates: long-lasting primer and deep color gives
extreme shine and nourishes lips with Vitamin
E and berry extracts. Cruelty and paraben free,
we love Killer Heels, Revamp, and the new High
Speed. ($19, mannakadarcosmetics.com)
1111
"'hat Lola "'ants
•
14
CURVE
For a softly seductive smoky
eye, NYX's Sway with Lola
Palette transitions from day
to date night in a snap.
($6, nyxcosmetics.com)
•
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
Hcdroom E~·cs
Give your eye a bombshell flick with Urban Decay's
24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in the sinful shade,
Perversion. This creamy liner goes on smoothly and
doesn't budge. ($19, urbandecay.com)
2014
TRENDS/
HOT Pl
GILT-YPLEASURE
It's Contplicated
A fresh comic collection that leaves
no sexual identity unturned.
BY CYGNUS FOGLE
II
Join the Cliteracy movement with this saucy tank. Artist
Sophia Wallace created the project to raise awareness
about the oft-misunderstood clitoris-now there's a
=we
can get behind! ($35, sophiawallace.com)
Queer representation
in comics has grown
by leaps and bounds
in recent years, but
with such diversity
in our community it's
still possible to feel
marginalized-that
is,
until now. Anything
That Loves, a new
comic collection from
Northwest Press,
explores the oh-socomplicated fluidity
of attraction and gender in all its glorious and
infinite variety. This amalgamation of styles and
voices is sure to make any of us feel right at
home-regardless
of who we go home with (or
don't) at the end of the night.
At first glance, Anything That Loves is a
generous helping of bisexual solidarity, offering
tales from bi-identified men and women alike.
I
II
I
I
I
~
Artists Kate Leth and Agnes Czaja start the
book off strong with multi-paged explorations
into the ambiguous and ever-evolving nature
of the bisexual label. However, with each new
turn of the page, it becomes readily apparent
that Anything That Loves is a near-limitless
exploration of gay, lesbian, bisexuality and
everything in-between.
Trans, you say? Jason A. Quest's panels
might be right up your alley. Do you find
yourself attracted to no one sex or gender
in particular-or
any at all? Brush up on your
latex-self love and pony play with Powflip's eyepopping, candy-tone-filled story This Time It's
Persona/. Even the lesbian adventuress Bold
Riley makes an appearance in Bedfellows where
she tells a story of one unforgettable night with
an androgynous lover.
Sexy, provocative and thought-provoking,
this beautifully illustrated tome is a must-read
for comic loving queers. So packed with unique
and affirming tales of sexual identity and
expression, you won't be left wanting for much
of anything-except
for, perhaps, a second
helping. (northwestpress.com)
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
15
NDS!GOSSIP
p
Sia
~ LESBOFILE
~
~
Patricia's love life 1m1tatesher art, Sia keeps questionable company
and Michelle gets hitched. BY JOCELYN voo
L
Reader, I Married Her
plot is the real-life outcome for
jealous husband, whose wild
Eminem's alter ego Slim Shady
Literary lovers rejoice! Michelle
one married FBI agent, who
revenge plot of murdering
using derogatory wordplay. To
drive her point home, she an-
Tea, writer and artistic director
started an affair with crime
Margo involves explosives and a
of RADARProductions, wed girl-
writer Patricia Cornwell.
reverend. We can't tell whether
nounced that she's planning on
to laugh or get on the book
donating all proceeds from her
pre-order list.
contribution to an LGBTcharity.
Trash Talkin'
friend Dashiell Lippman, an ad
An upcoming book from
sales director at Yelp, this past
Caitlin Rother and John Hess
November (cue a million chants
tells all, reports the Daily Mail:
of "Reader, I married him").
According to their wedding
website on The Knot, "We are
Margo and Gene Bennett were
Shady Associations
an all-star husband-and-wife FBI
It's long been known that
If you listen closely, that's the
pair in Washington D.C.,but after
Eminem is not shy about using
sound of a million lesbian hearts
getting married forever this
seven years of marriage and
hate-words in his lyrics. "Faggot"
breaking. Girltrash! creator
November" (awwww) "and you
two children, the relationship
and "gay" are peppered
Angela Robinson was actively
are invited to our wedding. We
had grown rocky. It was at this
throughout his songs, although
working with POWERUP to
hope you can come because
point that Cornwell, research-
he's insisted that he's not using
produce a sequel to the hit web
it is going to RULE."Then they
ing her upcoming novel, was
them to slam homosexuals, but
series, when suddenly at the last
rather as generic insults.
list a bunch of things that are
introduced to Margo-and
indeed very awesome: old
able to seduce her away from
Sia, an openly queer singer,
European wood, records and
her husband. Their first kiss is
seems to have bought into his
banana pudding instead of
pure romance novel fodder:
claims, signing on to contribute
been, without a doubt, the
wedding cake. Ladies, our
"Up to that point in my life, that
to The Marshall Mathers LP 2.
worst experience of my career,"
heartiest congratulations.
was
minute, things went awry-in
full dyke drama fashion: "Stacy
Codikow and POWERUP has
was the most tender kiss I had
Recording artist and Huffington
Robinson wrote in a statement.
ever had, and yet at the same
Post contributor Keo Nozari
"Because Stacy has been so
An Affair to Remember
time, it was the most ferocious
actually debated the point with
horrible I will never again be
A lesbian affair! Police gone
in the intensity of it and what it
Sia herself via Twitter, where she
involved in any project in which
bad! Attempted murder! It has
was doing to the inside of me. I
tweeted, "I am queer, and love
Stacy Codikow or POWERUP is
all the hallmarks of a fictitious
was mush," says Margo.
my queers, young and old." She
involved:' Whoa, we're staying
explained that she viewed it as
out of this one!•
thriller, yet this decades-long
16
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
Fast forward to the raging
2014
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friend, the one that you
idolize and maybe even have
a weird obsession-slash-crush on.
We were standing on her bed, wearin
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her clothes-because
her clothes .wer,e
cooler-and she put on 'Killer Quee :
world froze. It was a very cinematic le
and it opened up this lyrical world}
My
-Katy Perry to W about the'.real •
inspiration behind'
'
"I Kissed a Girl"
.-I
st PROFILE
rINCASE
Dulce Garcia
SanFrancisco
BayArea» SexualHealthActivist
She's been called a fierce femme, and for Dulce Garcia
it's a badge of honor she's proud to wear. "It came
from living my life with conviction and resilience," says
Garcia. "Because I'm a queer woman of color, I face
many oppressions, marginalization, yet I also hold a
lot of privileges, and it's my responsibility to use them
toward true liberation and social justice."
Over the years, Garcia has focused her attention
and energy on serving LGBT youth, originally at De
Mr~io
I ~~l~~!~~f~~~,i;~~~~~~~~ING
Development, on Inside the Actors Studio she said
that she struggled with the issue of her sexual identity
during the coming out process, "I just didn't want to
be a lesbian...l'd never met one, for a start, and I just
thought they were strange and that they hated men."
Ambiente (In the Scene), the only program of its kind
in California to serve Latino LGBT youth. While there,
GRETA
MELENDEZ
AND
she was involved with HIV prevention and other sex
Lily Cohen, a teenage lesbian
couple at California's Calabasas
High School, have been
selected as Homecoming
Queens Melendez serves as
president of her high school's
GSA and believes that this
signals a huge shift In the
culture of LGBT acceptance and
bullying at her school
education programming. "As a queer woman of color
and a sexual health educator, working with queer youth
has not only allowed me to witness their resilience but
to learn from them," she notes. "Kids are really smart
individuals, and if adults would just take a second to
listen to them, they will tell you what their needs are, in
order to feel safe in the communities where they live,
learn, and work."
Today, Garcia continues to promote public health
and well-being through her work at the California
Health Collaborative. As its new health educator for the
Bay Area, she will implement bilingual breast and cervical cancer screenings for the Every Woman Counts
program. Her goal is to specifically target uninsured or
underinsured low-income women, so they'll have access to free mammograms and Pap smears. She's also
recently joined San Francisco Women Against Rape
(SFWAR) as the education consultant, working with the
Community Initiatives staff to provide rape prevention,
education programs, and outreach to Spanish-speaking
communities, and to support these communities in
identifying and initiating models of mobilization to
confront and end sexual violence through an antioppression framework.
Still, at the end of the day, the kids are not very far
from Garcia's thoughts. "Do I want the right to marry?"
she asks. "Yes. But is it my main concern, or the strug-
gle I focus on? Not at all. I'm more concerned about
queer youth of color having access to health care,
housing, and safe learning environments." -Sheryl Kay
18
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
FOUR
LESBIAN
COUPLES
In Boise, Idaho, have Joined
with the NCLR to file a case In
US District Court arguing that
Idaho's Const1tut1on, which bans
same-sex marriage for couples
who have been legally married
In other states, Is In v1olat1onof
the US Const1tut1on Two of the
couples involved In the case
have been legally married In
other states, and two have not
Attorney for the case, Deborah
Ferguson, says, "Idaho Is part
of the great Western trad1t1on
that strongly values freedom
and fairness Most people In
this state, like most Americans,
believe that the law should
EBAY
HAS
ISSUED
AN
apology to a lesbian-owned
company after the onl1ne
retailer banned the sale of a
Christmas T-shirt featuring a
reindeer wearing a rainbow
scarf eBay claims to have
removed It because the seller
listed It as "gay interest" eBay
has 1nd1catedthat It has no
issue with the content of the
T-shirt, but that l1st1ngitems as
"gay interest" was In v1olat1onof
the site's adult pol1c1es,which
are aimed at cracking down on
"adult" or "fetish" items.
SHERIFFS
DEPUTY
PAUL
Martin of Pinellas County, Fla,
has been fired for the sexual
harassment of a 17-year-old
alleged sexual battery vIctIm
Reports 1nd1catethat Martin
asked the vIctIm irrelevant
sexual questions According
to Sheriff Bob Gualtieri, "She
mentioned that she was with a
friend going to Busch Gardens,
and he turned that into 'Are you
into girls and into lesbian sex?'"
Martin reportedly reached under
■
POLITICS»
Chasing Lesbian Desire
Why we need to maintain our sex lives.
BY VICTORIA A. BROWNWORTH
e've all heard the phrase "lesbian bed death:' But have you heard
about how to avoid it-how to keep the bedroom hot and sexy,
no matter how long you and your partner have been together? Sex
books abound, but even lesbian sex books skirt the issue of LBD.
Mentioning LBD is like referencing some easily contractible virus that could spread to
you and everyone you know via a whisper.
Yet as rampant as it apparently is, many
lesbians feel unable to acknowledge or discuss it. That doesn't make it any less real,
however. Regardless of how much we adore
and applaud every sex scene the film BlueIs
the Warmest Color,most of us would find
more candid realism in the experiences of
Nie and Jules in The Kids Are All Right, or
Abby and Kate in Concussion,where the
lesbian couples are barely intimate.
When I first saw The Kids Are All Right,
in a theater with a large lesbian audience,
the scene where Nie and Jules are watching gay male porn brought knowing guffaws from the women around me. Whyr
I think it's because lesbians understand
what Jules and Nie are seeking: mindless
sexual excitement with a partner who is a
virtual stranger.
Sex becomes an afterthought in many
lesbian relationships when the initial passions wane and shared intimacy starts to
move away from being physical. Yet, as sex
therapists continually note, sexual intimacy
is a vital part of every romantic relationship,
and it deepens emotional intimacy. Sex with
a partner you love can be a mind-blowing
experience. But when that sexual aspect of
a relationship is no longer present, partners
are more like roommates.
It's not just lesbians who don't have sex,
of course. It's all women. And in lesbian
bed death it's a problem times two. And
that problem is: Women don't fuck. If
that seems too bald a statement, it's bolstered by reality-and statistics. Whether
in mainstream magazines like this one or
on medical websites devoted to sexuality
issues, the stories are myriad, yet the same:
Women don't have sex. And many women
assert that they don't want to have sex.
But whyr We all seem to have periods
of intense sexual arousal, yet that seems to
fade within months of the onset of a new
relationship. How do we go from being
acutely passionate and unable to keep our
hands off each other to barely engaging in
a good-night kiss?
Advertising has latched on to this reality.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
19
st POLITICS
A few years ago, KY, the leading manufacturer of sexual lubricants, began airing
commercials about what viewers recognized immediately as a real issue between
real (heterosexual) women and their husbands. She has trouble achieving "the big
moment;' while he has trouble getting her
there. Different scenarios illustrated the
problems facing modern straight couples:
jobs, kids, exhaustion, having been together
for a long time. But a little dab of KY Hers/
His and voila! Exciting sex-of even just
a few minutes' duration-makes
everyone
happy.
The women-not-having-sex problem isn't
solved by a trip to the drugstore for more
lubrication, however. What the ads don't
say, is that she needs more than a few quick
thrusts of his penis. And what about lesbians:' Will a good lubing get us where we
want to go:1Yes and no.
Lack of orgasm is the primary reason
why women stop having sex. Study after
study reveals the shocking reality that
more than 30 percent of women have never had an orgasm, either from sex with another person or from masturbation. This
fact alone keeps some women from being
sexual.
There are other problems as well. Even
among millennials, who are supposed to
be more free and open around issues of
sexuality, women use sex as a weapon. In
Concussion,Abby feels abandoned by her
wife, Kate, who is preoccupied with her
job. Meanwhile, Kate feels that all Abby
does is complain. Their sex life is nonexistent and in part we begin to understand
why; it's because where intimacy once was
now lies resentment-like
a third person
in the bed between them.
In The Kids Are All Right, Jules feels
adrift and unappreciated. She's still finding her way, career-wise, while her wife,
Nie, is a doctor. Jules' self-esteem is in the
toilet. She's virtually a stay-at-home mom,
and one whose kids are nearly grown.
Both Abby and Jules seek pleasureand the appreciation and empowerment
that go with it-elsewhere. Soon they are
leading double lives.
But what if you don't want to break up
your relationship:' What if you don't have
the time and energy for a double life:'
20
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
Teach yourself how to be intimate again.
Or teach yourself how to do it for the first
time. One of the perils of living together is
that the excitement of the new has dissipated. Add in the resentments that develop in any relationship, plus women having
been taught that withholding sex is a potent
thing, and soon you've got a full-blown case
oflesbian bed death.
It can be reversed, however. The remedy
may be part lubes, but is more likely talk,
time and attention to detail.
For women, sex can go on until we die.
We don't need the little blue pill, although
we do need more lubrication as menopause sets in and our vaginas are less able
""
WtHAVt
TOASK
~OR
WHAT
WtWANT.
WH
tTHtRWtARt
HAVING
AONtNIGHT
STAND
ORON
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''
to produce the estrogen-fueled natural
lubrication we had in our 20s, 30s and
even 40s. But we can hold on to our sexual selves into our 70s and beyond, if we
choose to. That means, however, that if we
are always physically able to have sex, then
lesbian bed death is all in our minds.
Most women were taught not to talk
about sex. Millennials were taught to talk
about it, but not in ways that get women
where they need to go in bed. More women
in their 20s have trouble achieving orgasm
than women in their 50s.
We have to ask for what we want.
Whether we are having a one-night stand
(and we are allowed to do that) or we are
on the fast track to marriage, the purpose of
sex is pleasure. Getting and giving pleasure
should be the goal of every sexual encounter. But you have to commit to that.
Most women have body issues. Too fat,
too thin, too whatever we've been told.
Society tells us to look a certain way, and
even if our attitude is Fuck that sexist crap,
we've still internalized it. Add to these factors the sad reality that one in four of us
has been the victim of some form of sexual
assault and sex becomes a minefield.
But giving up your sexuality is the last
thing you should do. Sex makes us calmer,
more grounded, happier. Endorphins pour
into our bodies as we achieve sexual arousal.
That's like five drinks, or three Xanax,
except much better for you.
If you're one of those women who
doesn't come, learn how. Despite all the
mythologies over the years, every single
article or study on how to have an orgasm
will point you to the same place: your
clitoris. You can have a drawer full of the
hottest dildos on the planet, but the place
where your orgasm starts-even
if it's not
the only place it finishes-is right there.
Ask for what you want. If your partner
doesn't want to give you what you want,
then you have to ask her why. Talk about
sex and talk during sex. Women are taught
to lie there and commend their lovers on
a wonderful performance as they fake an
orgasm, but that just builds the resentment that leads to lesbian bed death and
straying from your relationship.
If it takes your partner three minutes
to come and it takes you 20, then it takes
you 20. You deserve all the time you need.
And if you and your partner can't get to
the place where she can make you come,
then incorporate masturbation into your
lovemaking.
Don't be afraid of your own body.
Touch yoursel£ touch her, be free about
your size (whatever it is), your scent, your
taste and your desire. Don't apologize for
your body or what you want. And if you
don't have a partner, you can still have sex.
Masturbation is good for you.
We may never get rid of the lesbian
U-Haul jokes, but we can rid ourselves of
lesbian bed death. It's not wrong to want
sex-it's wrong not to. Desire is essential
to our well-being as women, as lesbians.
Chase down your desire and capture it. •
VIEWS/
artee
TWO OF
& Caroline
Martee Larocque, 31, and Caroline Seguin, 32, are the owners of Canada's eco-friendly online sex shop
Sensual Intelligence. Best friends turned business partners, they face the same challenges and joys as
other couples-except that their longtime liaison is platonic, even though their stock-in-trade is sexual
pleasure. BY GEORGIA KROKUS
HOW
THEY
MET
with Toni Collette and Rachel Griffiths. Last
MARTEE: I met Caroline in high school-
month we watched it again, and it's weird
regularly measure the heights of the kids
worst time of my life ever! I've always been
how we can still relate to the characters
on the side of the kitchen wall, where
socially awkward and, due to my Catholic
after all these years-even more so now.
Mommy's, Daddy's and Martee's heights
upbringing, had a difficult time dealing
I'm totally Muriel and Martee is Rhonda.
are also recorded. Since we have a home
She's part of the family. For example, we
office, she's often over. The other day, my
with the fact that I am queer. Caroline
was like a breath of fresh air: super-
HOW
THEY
GOT
TOGETHER
4-year-old told us that Martee and I are
bubbly, artistic, a bit dorky, but witty and
MARTEE: When I first moved in with
married. It's pretty cool that at 4 he has
sarcastic. We were a very unlikely pair. Our
Caroline, I had recently broken up with my
not been influenced to think that marriage
differences brought us together.
partner. It was a very painful time. I was
is between a man and a woman but
CAROLINE: Martee's goth look made her
a total wreck! I wouldn't eat for days and
associates it with two adults who spend a
seem like the type of teenager who hated
I would drink copious amounts of booze.
lot of time together, and respect and love
everyone. I never thought we would
Luckily, she helped me get back on my
each other. Martee and I now joke that we
are "work wives."
become friends, especially since she
feet and gave me a place to stay. Caroline
smoked cigarettes and I was kind of a
would make the best roasted red pepper
goody-goody. I later found out she had a
soup when she'd notice I wasn't eating.
really quirky sense of humor, just like me,
CAROLINE: Martee and I were roommates
MARTEE: We'd always had this idea that
and we liked the same movies. To this day
for a few years before I had kids. Since
we would go into business together,
our favorite movie is Muriel's Wedding,
they were born, she's always been around.
but it was more or less a joke while we
ONWORKING
TOGETHER
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
21
st TWO OF US
were in our youth. Adulthood
consulting with my biochemist
with kids, and the fact that
did. However, we figured out
came around and it was a
friend. And then we come up
I am queer, we manage to
a nice schedule that works for
different story. Caroline has
with the business name, we
cover different demographics
both of us. Organization is
a marketing background,
buy a domain, find wholesalers,
and can bring a different
definitely the key.
and I am a registered holistic
and spend countless hours side
experience to the table.
nutritionist. These interests
by side. The rest is history! We
combined make the perfect
have received such a positive
THECHALLENGES
SOFAR
personal lives to share with
marriage for our business. We
response. Consumers today are
CAROLINE: One of our
each other is good, because
CAROLINE: The fact that
we can have very different
both have green households
so much more conscious about
challenges has been balancing
we don't feel like we have to
and are extremely conscious
what affects their health and
work, school, kids, and
compete against each other.
of what goes in and on our
the environment.
the business. Seems like
Being married, I am not jealous
bodies. It was natural that
CAROLINE: We are both
something is always pulling us
of Martee, who is single. I kind
our niche was going to be
creative and passionate. We
in one direction or another.
of live vicariously through her
eco-friendly and body-safe
love what we do-selling
MARTEE: For a while, it was
escapades, but at the same
products. One night in January
friendly and body-safe sex toys
difficult for me to understand
time would never want to be
2013, we were at the kitchen
and lube, whee!
the mommy lifestyle. We
single again. I think she feels
table reminiscing about old
MARTEE: What is great is
couldn't often find the time to
the same way, hearing my
times. Next thing you know,
that, with her being in a
work side by side, and I had
stories about the kids and my
we're researching products and
heterosexual relationship
way more free time than she
relationship ups and downs.
eco-
I'm sure sometimes she could
take a break from hearing all
of them!
HOW
THEY
RESOLVE
DIFFERENCES
MARTEE: I'm pretty passionate
and Caroline is more
levelheaded. Therefore, it is
inevitable that we occasionally
butt heads. That being said,
sometimes email or texting
doesn't cut it and can cause
us to misinterpret the other
one's tone. That's why our staff
meetings are so crucial-not
to mention low-key and fun.
At the end of the day, we are
always grateful for having each
other! We use humor and make
it a point to not go to bed angry.
CAROLINE: Most of our
conversations are through
text messaging, so it's hard
to figure out the tone behind
the text sometimes. We are
both sarcastic at times, so
face-to-face meetings are ideal
for proper communication.
We patch things up rapidly so
they don't boil over. Despite
the fall outs, we always seem
to remember to be grateful,
and that we wouldn't be where
we are without each other.
(sensual-intelligence.ca)•
22
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
VIEWS/
LIPSTICK+DI
PS
Relationship
Maintenance
Is it time for a tune-up or the junkyard?
you know it all. Instead of
Is it worth saving? If so, you
putting your energy into
need to have a professional
wondering what Abby needs
look under the hood of your
to do, ask yourself what you
relationship. Like a car, a
BY LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I'm on my
second long-term relationship, with a
woman named Abby, and it is going sour
fast. I believe the reason is that I'm too
mature for her and she's very one-sided
and selfish. I also believe that the issue of
who should lead and who should follow
has become a problem. I want an equal
relationship, but Abby feels as though I'm
taking over and she is losing herself. Any
advice will be appreciated.-Miserab/e
in Montreal
Dipstick: In my experience,
you'll be on the side of the
people who see others as the
road with flares. Even though
problem are rarely right. I sus-
it sounds like you're ready to
pect Abby's immaturity is not
abandon the vehicle, I ask
the problem-it's
you to ponder this question:
you thinking
can do to be a better partner.
relationship can be neglected
How can you better meet her
to the point where it's hardly
needs? Why does she think
functioning anymore. If you are
you're controlling? What more
done, be done. End it quickly,
can you do to ensure that
don't point fingers, and then
you're on an equal footing?
move on.
Once you put the focus on
yourself in this way, you'll stop
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
noticing her flaws, and as you
Ex sex. What are your thoughts
start to work on yours, the
about dating someone who is
relationship problems will start
having sex with their ex while
to remedy themselves.
dating you?-S/oppy Seconds
Lipstick: Regardless of who's
Dipstick: My thoughts? Oh,
at fault, this relationship
you're asking the wrong
sounds like a car breaking
lesbian, SS! I remember when I
down. I hear the engine grind-
was dating Donna the dentist.
ing, a backfire or two, and soon
She told me she had an ex,
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
23
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
''
Sally the veterinarian. She and
Sally would meet up for lunch
or a movie from time to time
and I had no problem with it.
Then the late-night hang-ups
started happening. Randomly,
we would run into Sally at the
ice cream parlor or the theater
when we were out together
on a date. I thought it was odd
when I came home one day to
find all the air had been let out
of my tires, with no sign of a
puncture. But it all finally came
together one afternoon when
Sally showed up at my work
and sat in the waiting room
for hours, staring between the
cracks of my cubicle, until I
llKtACAR,
A
RtlATIONSH
IP
CAN
Bt
N[GltCTtD
TO
TH
t POI
NTWH
tRt
IT'SHARDlY
~UNCTION
ING
ANYMORt.
''
had to ask my boss if I could
leave through the back door. It
turns out, Donna never really
ended things with Sally, and,
because a) they had amazing
in her eyes, she wasn't the
sex and every time they see
"ex." I was the other woman!
each other it's a slippery slope
Be careful what you're getting
to the sack, b) they're lonely, or
yourself into, SS. Take it from
c) they're not over each other.
one who knows.
LESBIAN
MAGAZINE
DO
YOU
HAVt
ATABltTr
Why not subscribe
and enjoy Curve, the
best-selling lesbian
magazine, in an App
designed for tablets?
Weekly updates
with exclusive
articles
Oftentimes, it's all three. In my
opinion, if you're just casually
Lipstick: Oh, Dip, I doubt this
dating, it's no big whoop who
ex is going to go all Glenn
she fucks. Her sex-capades are
Close on SS. No need to get
her sex-capades. It's when the
her all in a lather over your
relationship goes to another
past drama.
level that it becomes your busi-
Dipstick: Lipstick, you never
of whether this woman is carry-
ness. In that case, the question
know. Some women lose
ing a torch for her ex is yours
their shit when it comes to
to decide-just
ex-girlfriends. I'm just glad
your instincts before you ratchet
Special interactive
videos
and
audio
be sure to trust
Sally wasn't my veterinarian
it up a notch. Before then,
when Thumper, my pet bunny,
while you're casually seeing
had that ear infection! SS, just
each other, just chill, and date
be wary. Whether it's Fatal
other people. Lesbians need
Attraction or some other
to learn how to "date" one
B-movie, there could be some
another, instead of sliding into
serious drama here, so take
possession after a romantic
this as a warning.
dinner and a goodnight kiss.
Lipstick: SS, never fear. Lezbos
your heart guide you, SS. Also,
can be cray-cray, but I'd worry
just a side note: I'd leave your
less about the ex's actions and
exes off the Other People to
Explore your options and let
more about getting burned
Date list. Nine times out of 10
by the lover. If someone is
it's a bad idea. After all, there's a
sleeping with their ex, it's
reason you've said sayonara. •
,
•iTunes
Google play amazon
~
Available through iTunes, Google and Amazon
24
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
VIEWS/
TRUTHOR DA
Sexual Stignias
Don't let fear hold you back in bed.
BY JINCEY LUMPKIN & CARLIN ROSS
JINCEY:
I am not a fan of penis.
I think my distaste for dick
developed over the course of
the decade in which I slept
with men and continually
"licked the stick" to avoid
sex. Deeply hidden in the
closet, not only was I trying
to convince myself that I was
straight, but I also believed
that I had to be a rock star in
bed. I gave a ton of blowjobs.
My goal was to make every
man fall in love with me.
Even though I was attracted
to girls from the age of 10 or
so, I didn't kiss a woman until
I was 22. I remember being
terrified at the thought of
going down on a girl. Despite
having a vagina myself, I
just didn't know what I'd find
between the legs of someone
else. Giving blowjobs is fairly
user-friendly: open mouth,
insert dick.
Before I ever touched my
mouth to the moist "downstairs
lips" of another woman, I had
my first dream about oral sex.
I dreamed that I was giving my
boyfriend a blowjob, and when
I looked up at his face, he had
turned into Grace Jones. Then,
Grace shoved my head into her
pussy, and my mouth was on
a mound of hair over her clit.
She smelled like spearmint.
Concerned that women
might not taste good, I made
it my mission to have a clean
poussoir at all times. When I
started going to sex clubs in
my early twenties, I became
rabid consumer of douche.
I also purchased special pH
balanced soap for my hoo-ha.
I was still sleeping with my
boyfriend at the time, and
he finally asked me to stop
overdoing it with the washing,
because he said my lady bits
were starting to smell "like
a hospital."
Once I accepted that I
was gay, my irrational fear
of vaginal odor and taste
evaporated. I learned that
every woman has her own
smell and flavor. I much
preferred the sweet cream
between my girlfriends' thighs
to the sour taste of sperm.
When I took Betty and
Carlin's Bodysex Workshop,
Betty gave a great tip. She said
that a good test is for you to
put your finger on your va-jay,
swipe wipe it around, and then
lick your finger. If you feel you
do not taste too fresh, go
sit under the faucet for a
minute and wash off.
I think my intense
vaginal paranoia
also sprouted roots
from watching too
many Summer's Eve
commercials. Relax,
ladies, relax; your
vagina is probably fine.
However, if you ever
find that you are turned
off by your lover's scent
just say, "Let's go take a
shower together." Emphasis
on together.
It was our intention to talk
about STDs in this column,
but we determined that such
a topic really requires a
dedicated focus, so we're
going to save that for later.
Let's direct our attention
back to pussy panic for a
moment.
The first time I shaved
my pubic hair off
completely was during
college. I had just
seen the infamous Sex
and the City episode
in which Carrie
visits L.A. and gets a
Brazilian wax. All of a
sudden I thought, "Oh
shit! Is having a bunch of
hair down there weird?"
I stayed completely
bare for years until I realized
that I hate ingrown hairs,
itchy skin, and actually like
the feeling of a little padding
under my panties.
I'm happy to report that I
now love my pussy, y'all.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
25
WS/
TRUTHOR DARE
CARLIN:
I consider myself to be a sex
adventurer. Maybe my curiosity
and desire to defy sexual
boundaries comes from being
a preacher's daughter. Each
time I pushed myself out of
my sexual comfort zone was
transformative; I'm not saying
that I wasn't nervous as hell,
but confronting my fear
was liberating.
When I was practicing law, I
was the only woman in senior
management. One day while
walking past a sex shop, I
decided to venture in. There
on the shelf was a big, pink,
realistically shaped dildo. I
bought it, headed back to my
office and placed it right on my
desk. Now, I had a penis just
like the rest of them!
My pink dildo was legendary in the tech community
but I had never used it
for its intended purpose.
I was all about clitoral
stimulation. The thought
of being penetrated
by a realistic dildo
was a turn off.
Working late one
night, I realized I
wanted to try using my dildo, so
I took it home.
I lubed it up
and slowly
penetrated myself
squeezing
and releasing my PC
muscle,
each
time
inserting my
dildo
a bit
deeper
until it was
all the way in. I combined vaginal penetration with clitoral
stimulation and had
one of the biggest
orgasms of my life.
As I basked in my
orgasmic glow,
I decided that
I was always
going to use a
dildo during my
masturbation
practice.
About two
years ago, Betty
and I decided
to film one of
our Bodysex
Workshops. We
put out a casting
call and several
of our bloggers
signed on. One
blogger, Liandra
Dahl, flew in from
Amsterdam, but her hotel fell
through at the last minute. I
got a frantic call on set and
sent her to my apartment.
Since there were already two
women staying with me, there
was only one place for Liandra
to sleep: my bed.
She arrived, and I sent her
straight into the shower to
wash off the stress while I
poured us some champagne.
We were sitting on my
terrace when Liandra asked,
"Why don't we film a scene
together?" She is what I call
a "sex documentarian." She
simply places her camera on
a tripod and films sex real
time. We decided to film
her schooling me ...the sex
educator being taught by the
porn star. The lesson? Fisting.
It was alluring to shoot a
scene on camera, and I also
felt a sense of exhilaration,
because in the adult world,
fisting could trigger an
obscenity charge. You can film
double penetration with two
dicks all day long, but film two
women fisting and you may
face prosecution by the Justice
Department.
We filmed late in the
summer afternoon. The light
was golden yellow. We kissed.
We petted and then we got
down to business. What I love
about fisting is that it takes
a ton of foreplay and a ton
of lubrication. You have to
work up to full penetration.
Once her hand was all the
way in, she started tonguing
my clit and holy orgasm. We
had two orgasms each and
retired to my terrace for a
smoke. Looking at Liandra, I
realized that there was nothing
"obscene" about what we just
did. We'd touched each other's
souls, and it was beautiful.
Our fisting clips went viral.
There was something so real
about our exchange. I became
a fisting aficionado, and a
bit of a following developed.
I met a young woman from
Copenhagen, and she asked
if we could fist. Once we
got into bed, I realized that
it wasn't going to happen. I
decided to use my vaginal
barbell to penetrate her while
she stimulated her own clitoris.
It took some time to get her
started, but once I began
sliding the barbell in and out of
her vagina, angled up towards
the ceiling, she couldn't hold
back. All of a sudden she
ejaculated. She was kind of
embarrassed and admitted, "I
haven't done that for a while."
I smiled and realized that I'd
just witnessed a sex unicorn:
organic female ejaculation.
When I'm an old woman, I
don't want to have any regrets.
I don't want to look back
and wish that I'd initiated sex
more, experimented with my
sexuality or fucked on my own
terms. Finally, at 40, my body
is my own, and I feel entitled
to pleasure. Moving past
stigma and shame was key to
my sexual liberation. If I could
go back in time and have a
conversation with my 20-yearold self I'd say, "Go, girl, go."•
Next column is all about
labels. Why do we hate
on bisexuals? Is there an
upside to being a Gold
Star? What's up with
all these lesbians who
sleep with men
in secret?
UNTIL THEN,
CONNECT WITH
US ONLINE!
Jincey at Jincey.com and
her hot lesbian porn at
JuicyPinkBox.com
Carlin's amazing
sex education at
Dodson And Ross.com
We want to hear your
stories about #PussyPanic!
What fears do you have?
What turns you on?
@JuicyJincey
@DodsonAndRoss
@TheRealCurve
Photos by Victoria Janashvili
Makeup by Karina Montoya
Hair by Stacia Nicole
curve
et's Tt
b
n a culture saturated by images of
female sexuality, Melissa Tapper
Goldman found herself struggling
with a curious question: "Why do
girls have sext While teen moms and
busty bachelorettes may have taken over
the tube, reality TV is more interested
in selling entertainment than giving us
insight into real people, angling stories in
a way that pushes us to judge women for
their choices. And in a patriarchal world
that shames women into silence, how
much do we really know about women and
sex, and what are the assumptions we've
absorbed from mass media:' In search for
some truth, Goldman rolled her camera
as nine women opened up on masturba~
tion, orgasms, trauma, social influences,
what sex is and the reasons why they get
down to it. The result is the documentary
Subjectified,a collection of diverse and un~
scripted stories about real female sexuality.
Despite the ubiquitousness of sex in the
I
(/)
...J
~
w
""
::::,
<(
I
z
w
f-
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~0
:;:
media, Goldman says that there are few
representations of authentic female sexu~
ality. Often, women on TV are decorative
sex objects, an assemblage of female~shaped
body parts designed to please the male
eye; then there are the tropes, cardboard
depictions of teen moms, abstinent Chris~
tians and lesbians. These representations
are "disconnected from what's real to peo~
ple, especially women;' says Goldman.
She also states "we need to see women
expressing their own motivations and
desires, not just existing as decoration for
someone else:'
What do queer women have to say about
our own sex lives:' The lesbian and bisex~
ual women in Subjectifiedhave identifiable
stories that contain sparks of surprise.
Their experiences are wide~ranging: from
finding God during childbirth, to reli~
gious excommunication, to fearing sex,
to orgasmic first kisses. Their narratives
prompt smiles and empathy; they trigger
selrreflection. And while the perspectives
are individual, the stories offer up many
moments in which queer viewers can see
themselves.
Goldman believes that the queer
community is full of hard~won wisdom.
"I didn't realize until I made this project how much all women have to learn
from queer women:' While all women
have to fight for their sexuality, lesbians
are forced to come out not only as queer
but also as women who value their sexual
identity as an important part of their
complete personhood.
"Just being a whole person with a sexual
identity is revolutionary. The fact that this
bothers anybody says something very pro~
foundly upsetting about our society;' says
Goldman. She says that, as women, we're
taught that sex shouldn't be important to
us. This message is compounded by the fact
that most sexual narratives revolve around
men. Even lesbians may have internalized
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
27
REVIEWS/
FlLM
these male-centric ideas. In Subjecti_fied,
an
openly lesbian woman tells how she used
to expect an orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. It's the age-old myth that real
sex must be penetrative, even if that myth
is, Goldman says, "usually told about a
penis rather than a dildo!"
Subjecti_fied
isn't a popcorn flick, but
neither is it solely meant for a women's
studies classroom. The film's raw honesty
holds viewers' attention and compels them
to share their own sexual experiences.
Goldman says,"I want to make it easier and
safer for people to [tell their own stories],
to deepen their friendships and support
networks by getting real:' She also has
faith in the power of truth: "Even if a part
of us loves airplane RomComs, we know
they're missing the grit and depth of real
life stories. When we see truer stories, we
gravitate toward them. I think that if we
keep offering up our truth, that has an
impact:' Viewers who are more open
about sex within their own communities
might not be surprised by most of the
film's biographical details, but Goldman
emphasizes that we all have something
to learn from each other: "Because of the
diversity of experience captured in the
project, everybody who watches is going
to be exposed to first-person perspective
that's different from their own:'
It's best to watch this film as part of a
group so you can share your own experiences. Goldman even designed a viewing
party kit-complete
with card games and
bumper stickers-to
help jumpstart the
dialogue. "The part of our lives where sex
exists can be fantastic, but it can also be
incredibly hard. I want people to know
that they' re heard and accepted, and to
take that strength and love and share it
with the people in their lives. People really
crave this, and it's so often missing from
women's lives on account of our silence
and shame around sex, even in outwardly
liberal communities:' Goldman believes
that vulnerability is contagious and transformative, and emphasizes the importance
of sharing and good listening. "When you
listen well, you open yourself up to that
person's full experience and perspective. It
changes who you are. It lets you see and
recognize some humanity in that other
person:' (subjectified.com) •
28
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
EDITOR'S
PICK»
BYMERRYN
JOHNS
Blue Is the
Warmest Color
It's the most talked about, controversial lesbian film of 2013-and possibly of our time. Blue Is the Warmest Color took the Palme D'Or at the
Cannes Film Festival for director Abdellatif Kechiche and leads Adele
Exarchopolous and Lea Seydoux-and it is a very fine film indeed. It's
not so much a lesbian film as it is an exploration of the pungent, bonedeep heartache of first love, shot in the quintessential French style of
cinema verite. Blue has been lauded for the authenticity and sheer
nakedness-emotional and physical-demonstrated by its young female
leads. And there's that seven-minute sex scene in which the rawness
of lesbian desire is expressed and executed at the pace of real life.
The film concentrates on the nexus, the link, between existentialism
and corporeal desire. The characters discuss Sartre as the camera
lingers on their mouths-speaking, smoking and pondering the
meaning of their emergent lust for each other. These are the finest
moments in the film: where attitudes and appetites meet. In the
scenes where the lovers are introduced to their prospective in-laws,
hearty and simple dishes are consumed with wine, along with longing
looks and covert conversation. Adele (Exarchopolous) learns to eat
oysters and everyone smokes as she gets to know Emma's (Seydoux's)
parents. (Their postprandial sex is explosive.) When Emma meets
Adele's parents, the class difference is palpable and later, at a dinner
party for Emma's friends, Adele cooks delectable dishes for the fussy
intellectuals but finds herself out of her depth in their high-flown
conversation. And so the seeds are sown for infidelity and you feel it
viscerally when, in a final scene, Adele longingly begs for a reconciliation, over espresso and white wine, making love to Emma's hand with
her mouth when words fail.
There are many shocking elements to this film-from those sex
scenes, in which desire is itself a cinematic spectacle and flesh sweats
and glistens (there's even spanking), to Steven Spielberg's enthusiastic endorsement of the performances, to the feud the actors now
appear to be having with their director. The latter was, apparently, a
hard taskmaster. The "meet cute," where the girls spot each other for
the first time while crossing a street, allegedly took a hundred takes.
To see the trio accepting their awards at Cannes-in an unusual move,
the jury awarded its highest prize to the three of them jointly-one
could assume that just as they shared in this cinematic triumph, they
also harmoniously rejoiced in having created a celluloid landmark:
young love portrayed without schmaltz, without a commercial pop
soundtrack-and with an honest approach to sexuality that makes a
grown adult blush. But according to media reports, from The Daily
Beast to The Hollywood Reporter, the actors have alleged exploitation,
and the director has insinuated legal action for defamation.
Put aside the controversy and watch this film. It's three hours long, an
amount of time that only the
French would allocate to a
coming-of-age tale, but it's
well worth the investment.
REVIEWS/MUSIC
MUSIC»
T
wo hours north of Memphis
and three hours west of Nashville, Americana Soul goddess
Chastity Brown is born. Taking the world by storm and never straying
too far from her roots in the Southern
gospel, the Tennessee transplant already
has four albums under her belt. The most
recent offering, Back-Road Highways has
gained critical acclaim and won accolades
from the likes of NPR, who deemed the
artist "a promising new voice:•
Brown, who is queer and frequently
speaks lovingly about her longtime partner,
is charming and unassuming, like a newly
acquired best friend. Her easygoing nature
shines in the music of Back-Road Highways, which combines two of the genres
that acted as a soundtrack to Brown's
upbringing: Americana and Soul. "I was
really committed to religion without people telling me you should be committed
to that;' Brown says, stirring her drink in
Minneapolis' Icehouse Restaurant. 'J\.nd
I realize now that it was the music. In
Southern churches, the music can kind of
take over. Maybe there could be preaching or maybe there could be music for
two hours:'
That passion for music informed her
decision to enter Seminary school for
music, which ended abruptly on the day
she decided to share the news that she was
in a relationship with another woman. "The
nature of the school was extreme honesty and laying it all out there," says Brown
of what inspired her confession. "The
response was I was full of the devil, I
was a liar, that I didn't love God, it was a
really dramatic response.
"My experience with sexuality was that
I just thought [in terms of what was] hot.
I just responded to what was attractive;'
Brown says, disregarding constraints of
sex or gender.
Brown's mother immediately jumped
to her defense in the way a social worker
and devout Christian "in the truest sense"
would, and Brown left school and focused
on writing music.
'l7heSoulful Sounds
of Chastity Brown
Queer singer-songwriter p aches the gospel of love on
Back-Road Highways.
BY JANELLE SORENSON AND MELANY JOY BECK
After moving to Knoxville, she began
playing at coffee shops, bars, "anywhere
they would have me:•
Though she is no longer involved with
the church, that essence of soul and letting
the music take over still acts as a guide for
the music Brown creates. "They literally let
go. I'm not religious at all anymore but I
still am moved by that music. It's wild to
see someone sing outside of themselves
and not stop it in any way. Then you have
that letting go and you have 50 people
singing five-part harmonies;' she says.
On a whim, Brown decided to relocate
to Minneapolis with a friend who was
moving for grad school. After the friend
decided she didn't like it and returned
home after six months, Brown decided to
stay and serendipitously so, as she met her
long-time partner.
While it took a year for Brown to acclimatize to the North Star state and start
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
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29
REVIEWS/MUSIC
playing shows, she has been embraced by
the vibrant and diverse music scene, which
is known to outsiders as a somewhat
insular group. "I think 'diverse' is the key
word. We have a respected jazz scene, a
respected hip-hop scene, and a respected
indie scene. There was a serious funk and
soul scene;' Brown says.
HOT
LICKS))
BYMIAMANNS
XVIII
Eyes
I'llKeep
You
(Rea
Room
Recoroing)
/'IIKeep You,the sophomore album from Seattle-based and queerled XVIII Eyes, is a catchy, pop evolution that isn't afraid to skew
dark and experimental. Alt-pop songs like "Volcano Surfing" and
the eponymous "I'll Keep You" are relatively mainstream audiencefriendly, but once captivated prove to be a gateway to the gothinfused "Multiples" and psychedelically dream-like "Low Tech." The
whole album balances on a tight-wire of creativity and alienation,
successfully experimenting without losing listeners, and the end
result is a concept-driven project that is worth exploring again and
again. "We Only Talk in San Francisco" was released as an advance
single and makes for an excellent introduction. It encapsulates
what /'IIKeep Youaims to achieve: music that is smart, psychedelic,
approachable and haunting, all at the same time.
As a queer, biracial and female artist,
Brown is difficult to categorize, a fact that
she enjoys. "I think being queer and being
biracial is my lens of seeing everything. I
can't remove myself from who I am and
because of who I am, it informs the way
that I see things;' she says. "Being queer
is a really powerful thing in that there's
ambiguity. There's no thumbprint, per se:'
When asked about her mission statement as an artist, she responds thoughtfully. "The integrity of art. The only way
that I feel like I can relate to people is to
be honest. Whether a song is about me, or
someone I know, or an imaginative story,
it has to feel true and so that's my main
objective; to write things that have a bit of
depth as well as truth:'
If listeners go on a journey throughout
Brown's collection, one thing is sure: There
is both depth and truth, and like the rolling hills of the Tennessee country she grew
up in, they go on, as far as the eye can see.
(chastitybrownmusic.com) •
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JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
Ferron
Lighten-ing
(Snort
Story
Recoros)
Ferron and Bitch have come together to create the collaborative
documentary/album Thunderand Lighten-ing. Thunderis the
documentary of Ferron's life as an artist, made by Bitch and Billie Jo
Cavallaro, and Lighten-ing,is Ferron's 15th album, produced by Bitch.
Ferron, sometimes referred to as the "the Johnny Cash of lesbian
folksinging," is well known for her guitar playing and songwriting,
both of which are on full display in her latest outing. The album
opens sweetly with the love song "Light of my Light," but soon after
her acoustic melodies give way to the ambient notes of electronica.
Bitch encouraged Ferron to turn some of her poems into songs,
and accompanied her readings with sultry bass-guitar riffs. Other
stand-out tracks include "Army of You," "The (H)ungerPoems"and the
perfect ending note, "The Return."
REVIEWS/
BOOKS
A
t 25 years old, Kenya Jackson
was $100,000 dollars in debt.
She was unemployed despite
her three degrees. Her girl~
friend of three years had broken up with
her, leaving her alone in a barren apart~
ment. Lonely and depressed, Jackson lay
on her floor and began journaling out her
feelings. Over the next few years, those
reflections would come together as her first
book, empty.S PA C E: Where is My Stuff?
NavigatingtheQuarterlifeCrisiswith Wisdom
andSkilla selfmemoir based on an idea that
Jackson created to overcome the anxieties
that gripped her mid~twenties.
In her book Jackson writes that tide is a
play on words, representing both the phys~
ical empty space of not having something
and the infinite prospects the world has
to offer. She explains that we can turn our
lowest moments of physical and spiritual
emptiness into empowering opportunity.
"When you don't have anything, it's really
such a great opportunity for you to build
what you want, versus fill your space with
things [that] everybody else is telling you
[to] do:'
Jackson's book suggests that we lessen our
reliance on the "Tools of the Ego" -at~
tachment, judgment, fear and destructionfeelings that serve our logical thought
processes but can impede our happiness.
On the other hand, she suggests practicing
the "Tools of the Spirit" -appreciation,
compassion, enthusiasm and creation-to
create positive mental balance.
Rather than being a step~by~step self~
help manual, Jackson's book reflects upon
her own struggles with addiction, loss
and failure. The tide is also inspired by
the fact that, during the time of her crisis,
her apartment had been literally devoid of
material belongings. "I was just sitting in
this emptiness. Like, there was nothing
around me;' Jackson describes. "... And I
felt really empty on the inside:' But since
her apartment was empty, Jackson real~
ized that she that had infinite prospects.
She healed herself by unlearning her
judgmental ways and practicing enthusi~
asm for the future.
"Were a very encouraged generation,
but not necessarily an empowered gener~
ation;' says the Adanta~based author. She
explains that even though youth are hit~
ting the books, job prospects remain low;
when the expectation of success isn't met,
the blame gets directed inwards.
"The quarterlife crisis is something that
has ceased to be a topic of conversation,
but I think it's because young people are
just burying it. We're not talking about it
because of the shame, and because of the
fact on some level we think it's our fault:'
During her crisis, Jackson kept silent
about her situation because she felt em~
barrassed by her perceived failures; her
writing was the only place where she felt
she could be honest. It was the journaling
that helped her dig into her psyche and
transform herself.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
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31
REVIEWS/
BOOKS
It took Jackson five years to write and
crisis] is not unique
more than that, and the sooner we get to
to them;' says Jackson. "We have a whole
figuring out [ our passions], the better our
a motivational speaker and is running a
series of workshops based on her book's
generation of young people who are deal~
quality of life will be ... "
messages. She's also embracing her love
time for us to release the shame, release
ing a space for themselves.
for creative writing,
the blame and the embarrassment
space for you at corporate
publish empty.SP ACE.
Now 31, she is
preparing to publish
a book of poems she'd never printed
out
that [ the quarterlife
ing with these exact same things, and it's
rounding
sur~
"I want young people to start creat~
If there's no
America ...
then create a space for yoursel£ because
this topic, and start getting to
of fear. And she's engaged to her partner,
the root of who we really are. None of us
this is the perfect opportunity
Michelle.
are what we have, who we date or how
to do so. And don't feel bad about it:'
much money we make ... We are so much
(kenyajackson.com)
"I really want for young people to realize
EDITOR'S
PICK»
Is this your first novelfeaturinga
lesbianas the maincharacter?
BYTRIXY
FLOWER
Small Town Trouble
Jean Erhardt
(Two Terriers Press)
As an avid lover of genre fiction,
especially crime novels, I was so
impressed with Small Town Trouble I
just had to interview its author. Protagonist Kim Claypoole, successful
lesbian business owner and wannabe
detective, just can't keep her nose
out of things and finds herself in the
thick of a murder when she goes
home to help her mother sort out her
finances. The author Jean Erhardt
kept me engaged by taking me
through Claypoole's journey and her
unexpected reunion with Amy-the
girl with whom she used to practice
French kissing! The novel is intriguing, funny and made me wonder if
there was a bit of Kim Claypoole in
Jean Erhardt.
Whatdoes KimClaypoolehavein
commonwith JeanErhardt?
Claypoole and I are alike in a lot of
ways. We share the same sense of
humor and we both have a penchant
for damsels in distress. For years, I
worked as a private investigator and
personal protection specialist aka
bodyguard. In one memorable case I
was holed up for two weeks in a highend, high security hotel situation
with a loaded .38 and a female client
32
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
•
The client was in the process of
divorcing her crazed, psychopathic
husband who smoked opium and
was richer than God. She chainsmoked long, rainbow colored
cigarettes, drank gallons of Persian
tea and carried on lengthy, melodramatic phone conversations in Farsi at
all hours of the day and night. By the
end of the two weeks I was almost
hoping that her husband would show
up and shoot me. But things turned
out well for both of us. I got a big
paycheck and she is now living happily ever after under an alias enjoying
her multi-million dollar divorce settlement in an exotic, sunny locale.
Lesbians have regularly appeared in
my books and short stories. One of
my short stories that comes to mind
is about a young woman named Taffy
who conspires with her creepy twin
brother to rob the convenience store
where she works. But things don't
go as planned. Her boss gets killed
in the heist and Taffy finds herself
becoming romantically involved with
the female cop who is investigating
the robbery homicide. I think this
story would make a great movie. Any
filmmakers out there?
Doyou havea favoritetype of book
that you enjoyreading?
I used to read a lot of so-called literary fiction, which was smart, well
written, emotionally loaded stuff. But
these days, I find myself mostly picking up a good mystery, usually one
written by a writer who tells a good
story, but also makes me laugh. Kinky
Friedman is probably my favorite but
I also love the early Janet Evanovich
mysteries.
Wheredid you get your inspiration? Thehumoris so refreshing,
I knew I wanted to write a mystery
especiallyfor a mysterynovel.
series set around the Smoky Mountains. I love it there and have spent
a lot of time in the area, which is so
rich with colorful characters, folklore,
good food and beautiful scenery.
As a teenager, I worked during the
summers in Gatlinburg, Tenn. where
my family spent summers and I graduated from Maryville College, which
is in the area.
Who doesn't love a
good laugh? Especially these days.
I want to write a
series that is not just
mysterious, but fun.
I want readers to
have a good time
along the way.
(jeanerhardt.com)
for you
REVIEWStFO
Sweet Thing!
Vegan Valentine
Indulgent, seductive-and
Jam Jar Wines are cornering
the market in quality sweet
wines that are perfect to
serve with dessert. The Sweet
Shiraz is made from grapes
grown in the Western Cape
of South Africa. It's lighter
than your typical Shiraz,
only semi-sweet with
some good acidity, and is
overflowing with the flavor
of ripe, juicy berries. Best
served slightly chilled, it's
the perfect match for a
chocolate souffle with
raspberries, a rich cheese
platter or any seductive
sweet to top off the perfect
Valentine's Day dinner.
($12,jamjarwines.com)
healthy-date night treats.
BY GEORGIA KROKUS
V
alentine's Day is all about
celebrating and adoring your
true love and the sexy and
abundant life you have ere~
ated together. So what better way to put
a spin on an old tradition than with a
healthy, New Age perspective?
The new book, Hayley Hobson's Hip
Guide to Creating Your Sexy & Abundant Life
offers couples insights on how to do just
that: through everything
from yoga, to food, to a
little self love!
Hayley Hobson is a
trained health coach from
the Institute for Integrative
Nutrition in New York; a
certified Pilates and yoga
instructor, a do TERRA
certified pure essential oil
director and a Pangaea
beauty ecologist. The founder
and owner of NoBo Pilates
& Yoga studio in Boulder, Colo., her exper~
tise can be found published on her blog and
in numerous natural health and spirituality
magazines and journals.
This Valentine's Day she provides
readers of her new book with tips on how
to achieve balance, harmony, positivity,
health and happiness. Annual holidays
such as Valentine's Day can hold immense
symbolic importance in our lives. Hob~
son thought that her life was ending last
Christmas Eve, when she realized that her
ambition and perfectionism, insane work
schedule and unresolved family tensions
were brewing into a storm of ill health and
depression. She decided to slow down and
examine the fruits of her life and to for~
mulate a more holistic existence in order
to avoid catastrophe.
This book shares with readers how to
use simple spiritual practices, regular sex,
gentle exercise and healthy food to create
a better life. The food is especially entic~
ing-from Avocado Bliss Soup to Spicy
"Szechuan'' Noodles. And you don't have
to give up dessert, either. Vegan sweet~
treats include coconut almond macaroons
(recipe at right) and raw brownies.
And if you're worried about the negli~
gible calorie count in these delicious nib~
bles, work it all off with Hobson's yoga
sequences, designed especially for cou~
ples to help partners reconnect. If yoga
isn't your bag, surely you won't say no
to a little more sex. Hobson outlines the
many benefits of having more sex, such as
boosted immunity, pain relie£ increased
self esteem, exercise, and lower blood
pressure. (hayleyhobson.com) •
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
33
IEWS!TECH
EDITOR'S
PICK
Sexy Snaps
Take your boudoir selfies to the next level.
Sony
PlayStation
4
av RACHEL sHATTo
Any gamer grrrl worth her d-pads
I
's Valentine's Day and you want to do
something special to spice things up
with your girl. If a photo is worth a
housand words, just think how many
ways you can say,"I want you" with one sexy
selfie, created just for her. But taking a DIY
boudoir shot is easier said than done. Don't
panic, there are plenty of tools and tricks of
the trade to make your shoot a success.
determine the ideal settings for your DSLR.
($30, esdevices.com/ products/luxi)
knows that the next generation of
gaming is upon us, and that the firstnot to mention most anticipatedcontender out of the gate is Sony's
PlayStation 4. Was all the hype worth
it? Absolutely!
Not only do PS4's games look
leaps and bounds better than those
available for older consoles, with
movie-like detail and effects, but the
action in them is also far smoother,
which makes everything appear
1. Manfrotto
KlypCase
Any photogra~
pher will tell you
the key to a sue~
cessful photo is
lighting. Make it
easy on yourself
with the Man~
frotto Klyp Case
and Tripod. The
Kylp case features 12 LED bulbs, ideal for
creating the perfect portrait. It's like having a
mobile photo studio in your pocket.
($74, touchofmodern.com)
2. Luxi
For the photographer who prefers to take
their shots with a DSLR camera it's still es~
sential to get the lighting right. That's where
the Luxi light meter comes
in. The light diffusion
dome fits over your
smart phone camera
and when used with
the Luxi app helps
34
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
3.CamMeApp
much more realistic. The console also
Anyone who's ever attempted a full body self
ie with the help of a mirror knows that things
can get pretty tricky.Avoid the awkward arm
syndrome with the Cam Me's hand recogni~
tion app allows you to trigger the aperture
from across the room, just through the use
of hand gestures. (Free, iTunes)
boasts lots of neat new features such
as voice control and pretty much the
best game controllers ever.
Current games range from
arcade throwbacks like Resogunto
clever puzzle-packed (and female
helmed) adventures like Contrast,
and even excellent family fare like
the enjoyable-by-all-ages Knack. Of
4. Facetune App
course, it's the prospect of big future
Even with just the right lighting and the sex~
iest pose, your images may still need a little
techno magic. Facetune has got you covered
with its impressive range of tools. With the
swipe of a finger, teeth can be whitened, skin
can be smoothed and eyes can be brightened.
Plus, free weekly tutorials will teach you new
tricks and techniques. ($3, iTunes)
releases that make most lady gamers'
5. Mobi Lens
For a more artistic or surreal take on your
sexy pies try adding a special lens. The Mobi
Lens's clip~on fish eye, wide and macro lens
can add a unique and dreamlike quality to
your photos. ($65, mobdens.com) •
pulses quicken, and PS4 has them
lined up in spades-many featuring
strong female leads.
Some of the standouts on the
horizon include Beyond Good& Evil 2,
DragonAge: Inquisition,Mass Effect 4,
Mirror's Edge2 and the next
installment in the TombRaider saga.
So, if you love games and were
left wanting by your holiday gifts this
year, we can't think of anything better
to use all that store credit towards
than this. We'll see you on PSN!
(playstation.com)
-RANDY
NELSON
"Gorgeous ...
Grab your giclfriend _~~!~u~,,
"Gorgeous.
Take any opportunity
you can to see this film."
RREIADAMUDE
CHRISllNE HORNE
RGARIT~
afl/111by Dominique
Cardona
a11dLaurie Colbert
- Girls On Film
- AfterEl/en.com
ThefirsttimetwoOscar-winners
have
portrayed
same-sex
lovers
onscreen!
Thishilarious
foul-mouthed,
lesbian
roadmovieco-stars
Oscar®-winning
Brenda
Fricker
andOlympia
actresses
Dukakis
asDotandStella,
acrackerjack
lesbian
couple
ontherunfromanursing
home.
93min.CC
Thischarming
filmco-starring
a
gorgeous
pairofactresses
(withterrific
on-screen
chemistry)
tellsthetaleof
anundocumented
Mexican
nanny,
(Nicola
Correia
Damude,
Margarita
Havana
51)whose
girlfriend
Jane
(Christine
Horne,
TruLove)
is
reluctant
tocommitandwhose
cash-strapped
yuppieemployers
are
aboutto lethergo.91min.CC
~WolfeOnDemand.com
"A beautifully acted
and engaging love story.
Prepare to laugh, cry,
and fall a little bit in love
with Stella and Dotty."
amazon.com
Lesbian.com
----
FEATURES/
LAUGH TRA
ut comic Erin Foley is causing a ruckus from coast to coast.
While she'll always call New York home, this energetically
hilarious standup comic, actor and writer performs across
the country and is currently a huge presence in Los Angeles.
With appearances on Comedy Central Presents, Curb Your
Enthusiasm and TV Guide's Standup in Stilettos, to name just a few, Foley
is on the rise and showing absolutely no signs of slowing down anytime
soon. After her debut on Conan earlier this year and her creation of comedy
show Gays R Us, the uncontrollable laughter is only getting louder.
When did you decide to pursue comedy as
a career?
I started performing improv at a standup comedy
venue in New York City when I was 25 or 26
years old. I would stay after my show and watch
the stand up and just fell in love. It was at that
point when I decided to pursue it.
How did you feel after making a splash on
Conan this year?
I've taped Conan twice and both times were
absolutely amazing. I think the second timewhich was last month-was
more enjoyable
because I wasn't crazy, out-of-control nervous!
I feel incredibly lucky to have had the opportunity to meet Conan and his amazing writing
staff. Those gigs make up for all the hell shows
I've done over the past 13 years!
Which do you prefer, standup or acting?
My first love will always be standup comedy. The
immediacy, the energy, the connection with the
crowd, just can't be matched.
How would you describe your show
Gays R Us?
Gays R Us is my monthly standup comedy show at
The Hollywood lmprov. It's the first Wednesday
of every month, but I always recommend checking the Hollywood lmprov's calendar or my
Gays R Us Facebook page because sometimes
it changes due to private events at the venue. It
features the best gay and gay friendly comics in
L.A. and comics from other cities that are visiting. I started it about five years ago so that the
gay community could have one night each month
to go and laugh, meet new and fun people and
always know that it's a safe, fun and awesome
space. There are a lot of gay slurs, homophobia,
etc. in comedy clubs, so this is the night that
everyone-gay and straight-can just relax and
not worry about being made fun 0£
Do you ever have embarrassing or awkward
moments on stage?
I don't usually get embarrassed on stage but in
real life, sure. I think it's probably a lifetime of
embarrassing and awkward moments that has
propelled my standup career.
Were you the class clown as a kid?
Yes. I've always loved to laugh and have been a
huge fan of practical jokes. My family is really
funny, especially my father, and I learned at an
early age not to take anything too seriously.
You talk about being a lesbian in your standup.
How do you think that influences people's
opinions?
I hope my act has a very positive influence on
people's opinions of homosexuality. I travel
around the county performing at comedy clubs
and the crowd is about 90 percent straight. My
goal is to get them laughing, make a connection
as a human being and then talk about being gay.
I think laughter brings out the best in everyone.
If my comedy can bridge gaps and chip away at
homophobia, I have truly succeeded.
Where do you see yourself in your career in
the next three years?
I'd love to do more acting as well as travel abroad
performing standup. There are wonderful comedy
festivals in Australia, England and Ireland that I
have my eye on.
What about the next 15?
I can barely get through the week let alone
think about the next 15 years! Overall, if I'm
making a living doing comedy, surrounded by
my friends and family, I'll be living the dream.
( erinkfoley.com) •
~,.
•••/ ...::.-~'
.-...
--
\I
'·
•
,.~
I
1/
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
;;:.
__ .,,.
'
2014
CURVE
37
FEATURES/
THE L LI
web series Kiss Her, I'm Famous has a new
of season two. Noureen De Wulf, who plays
Anger Management, will be stepping into the
ah-who,
as fans of the series will remember, is
een.
e KHIM scripts, the popular sitcom actor
jump
tunity to work with director Selbak, as well
as beco
lesbian web series "that women can watch
and rela
rtance of having "diverse characters both
in lifestyle
screen" in particular pushed De Wulf
to take on the ro e, s e says.
Season one is quick, fun, and witty with the two lead roles
played by The Real L Words Tracy Ryerson and Ilea Matthews,
who is no newbie to onscreen work. The series starts out by
recapping the depressing breakups that both girls had just sur~
vived, albeit not easily. The rest of the five episodes follow the
two best friends through the ins and outs of their post breakup
lives. Rather than taking the normal approach of camping out on
the couch with a pint of ice cream, the two decide to make their
own sex tape in hopes of becoming famous while simultaneously
making their exes regret their latest relationship related decisions.
Noureen De Wulf' s character Hannah is definitely a trouble~
maker. De Wulf describes the character as "an evil Disney princess"
who is the "grower of her own Kombucha'' and "always seen in a
silk robe:' This mixture of a personality seems to fit perfectly with
the series, which is satirical, yet fairly accurate in its portrayal of
the state of our society.
It also seems to fit perfectly with De Wul£ The actor's character
on Anger Management, Lacey, is a fiery~hot patient of Charlie
Sheen's, who was sentenced to anger management therapy after
shooting her boyfriend in the crotch for cheating on her. With
De Wulf's stunning beauty and penchant for hot headedness as
Lacey, there's no way that Hannah won't be just as compelling.
The actor has more than a fitting personality for the role, though;
she also has past experience filming a web series. De Wulf pre~
viously played a part in Burning Love, a comedic spoof of The
Bachelor.The series was nominated for an Emmy, making De Wulf
far from a rookie to the online scene. As someone who likes to take
part in different kinds of entertainment mediums, De Wulf is quick
to point out that "everyone watches everything on their computers
now;' and is perfectly content being in an online~only series.
Another guarantee that Dewulf is the perfect fit for Hannah
stems from the fact that the web series is directed by the hugely
talented Rolla Selbak, who is also known for the films Darkest
and Three Veils. De Wulf describes Selbak's vision as "diverse" and
adds that Selbak is a "completely unique person in Hollywood as
a female, ethnic, lesbian director and writer:' Selbak is definitely
a huge asset to the gay and lesbian film community. Her taste for
comedy combined with fast paced drama in Kiss Her, I'm Famous
displays her ability to merge societal norms with open sexuality.
De Wulf, who sees every acting experience as "a chance to
learn and grow;' has most recently focused on shooting Anger
Management, which is approaching its 100th episode. Her goal
as an actor is to create a character that's "memorable and funny;'
which viewers can definitely expect to see in Hannah, and already
do see in Lacey.
After filming both Anger Management and Kiss Her, I'm
Famous, the gifted actor hopes to do "more film, more romantic
comedies, an action film;' and one day, her own sitcom. De Wulf' s
ultimate goal, she says, is to get her best friend, who is a lesbian,
to finally watch something she's in. Chances are high that this will
play out, as season two of the web series is expected to be just as
witty and engaging as the first.
The entire first season of Kiss Her, I'm Famous can be watched
on Tello Films and was also recently released for free on YouTube.
Season two began filming in late 2013 and will be available online
soon, too. Catch up now and prepare for the addition of De Wulf
to season two of this hilarious series. (onemorelesbian.com) •
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
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39
A
I
FEATURES/
u can eas
imagine that
ecome n artist. As the
d t
stepdaughter of
y nature and nurng the right creative
through it she creates
tbreak and humor.
, The Truth A
, tells the story of a girl
struggled for her entir
th the knowledge that her
r died as a consequence o
irth. Emanuel's life takes a
tur , however, when Linda (Jessica iel), a beautiful single mother,
moves in next door. Emanuel (Kaya Scodelario) immediately
develops an obsessive attachment to her, but the situation grows
even more complicated when Linda's secret comes to light. To
reveal more would require a spoiler alert, but let's just say that
the two women share a unique bond forged in tragedy. Despite
delving into dark territory, Emanuel is a cathartic and ultimately
hopeful tale, and should be sought out and seen-Jessica Biel's
stunning performance alone is worth the price of admission.
The power of Gregorini's filmmaking lies in the fact that her
stories reflect personal truths-what
she's experienced and what
she's learned. Gregorini may work behind the camera, but her
passion and sensitivity end up on screen. Both her debut film,
Tanner Hall, and Emanuel are deeply personal pieces. "I think it's
sort of implicit that you write what you know, and are always in
the process of exorcising your demons through your arr;' she says.
Now that The Truth About Emanuel is available on demand, and
will be in theaters this month, Gregorini shares her thoughts on
how the film helped her heal, how the industry is changing, and
how her queerness is a powerful filmmaking tool.
How did The Truth About Emanuel come about?
Well, the film is a personal piece in many ways. I think both the
lead characters, Emanuel and Linda, are sort of composites ... of
struggles I've had in various parts of my life-Emanuel
representing the younger me and Linda representing the older me. I
ended up putting both of those components into the film and I
just sort of let them duke it out and now I'm all healed, now it's
all good. [Laughs]
The film delves into dark territory, but you're still left
with a sense of hope.
I definitely think it's important when you're tackling themes like
heartbreak and madness and mortality-those
are pretty heavy
topics-I think it's important to infuse all of it with some sense
of hope, because I certainly am an optimist. Our experience as
humans is fraught with darkness, but I think for me anyway, as an
artist, what is healing is to shed some light into those areas and
explore them fearlessly and boldly, but to keep a sense of humor.
And I feel like I did a fairly good job of infusing some English
humor into [Emanuel].
THE L LI
What sort of demons did you feel that you needed to
exorcise with Emanuel?
Emanuel's mother in the story died in childbirth, so she has this
missing piece in her life. Thank God I have a mother who's very
much alive and very vital, but in the years I was growing up she
was an actress-from when I was very young-so she would often
be gone on set ... for three months at a time, and I think, as a child,
your mother goes to the store and it's like that fear of abandonment
sets in. I think that definitely triggered that in me ... that sense of
longing and abandonment. Now we have a great relationship and it
honestly couldn't be better.
I end up exorcising my demons, addressing those issues that
are still in me, not because I consciously am, like, I'm going to
write a story about heartbreak and loss, but because I think things
like that just sort of come out. I don't even know what I'm writing,
and then at the end of the journey I read it and it's kind oflike I'm
having a conversation with myself, and I'm like, Oh, I see, you're
still dealing with that. That's OK-Round Five.
[Also] I wanted to have a child and I'm unable to, so there's
obviously a lot of sorrow and grief around that issue. I don't know
how they both ended up in one film, but they did, and they seem
to work in that way.
The movie depicts the raw power of that maternal bond.
Have you shown it to your mother?
Yes, I have. I mean, my parents have been super-duper supportive-you know, my mom and my dad and my stepdad flew in
from Italy to Sundance to see it-so, I mean, I've had tremendous
support, and they recognized me in the movie all over the place,
and I think they're just all happy that I'm finding my footing and
finding my voice. I'm lucky in a way because I come from a family
of artists, so it's not like this foreign concept that I would have
personal parts of my life revealed in my work. I think that's just
by nature what it is.
The passionate connection between Emanuel and Linda,
do you think that on some level it's rooted in desire?
To me, I think desire is a part of even friendship, really. I feel like
there is an intentional sort of undertone of sexuality in Emanuel
and Linda's relationship, and I think that happens in life, where
you meet someone and really connect with them and you develop
this deep friendship. I think there is an element to it that is
sexual, whether you act on it or you don't act on it. Whether
it's conscious or unconscious, we are sexual creatures. And to
me filmmaking is about desire. It's the ultimate voyeuristic
experience. So this film does have desire. It has the desire to
have a child, to have a mother, to have a connection. One of
the ultimate connections is sexual connection, so it's like there's
blurred lines and I think there are blurred lines in life and I think
that's what makes it interesting.
Does being queer affect how you make films?
It definitely does. I mean, that's who I am. That's kind of my lens
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
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41
TURES/
THE L LIST
on the world, really. But I think as an artist in general,
I think that your otherness is helpful, really. It kind of
gives you this bird's~eye view, because you don't belong.
I think all of us have had a sense of not really belonging.
I mean, now, sort of, we belong to this other community,
which to some degree is a marginalized community. Less
and less so, thank God, and making huge strides every
day. So, it may not be the most comfortable existence.
However, I think when you're not completely com~
fortable and belonging is when you work extra hard to
soothe yourself. In doing that, I make art, and I feel very
blessed to have that ability, because I can kind of trans~
pose what is uncomfortable and new and make it into
something that is hopefully beautiful. But I like being a
gay woman. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
The film industry is notorious for being a boys'
club. Is this changing?
We still have a very long way to go. This year at Sundance
was the first year there was an equal number of women
and male directors in the dramatic competition. So I
felt very honored to be part of that class of 2013, the
first year that that happened. We are making tremen~
dous strides and that's very important. I'm definitely
an advocate of female~driven material. That's what I'm
interested in, that's what I write, that's what I want to
direct. That's what I'm passionate about. We're far from
parity, and we need to support each other, and we need
to enter all aspects of this industry to make it be more
representative, because in a big way film is a legacy we
leave behind, and if it's all through the guys' perspective
then it's kind of a skewed story that we're telling.
It's also been a landmark year for lesbian film,
with high-profile films like Blue Is the Warmest
Color and Concussion coming out. What are
your thoughts about them?
I'm desperate to see Blue Is the Warmest Color. I missed
it at Cannes-it was playing and I couldn't see it, and it's
on my list to see, literally this week, so, sadly, I can't com~
ment on that. I did see Concussion at Sundance and-really lovely
filmmaker. I have to tell you I have some issues with the depiction
of lesbianism in film. I just ... [laughs], I guess, and I don't even
know how to put this into words and I'm probably going to get
myself into all sorts of trouble, but it's like I hate it when it feels
like, I don't know, guys or film buyers are loving it because it's a bit
salacious, or because of what they project onto it.
I have trouble when I hear people talking about those mov~
ies after the fact, and I can't-I obviously haven't found the right
words to express my unease with the way they're received ... It
takes on an appeal level that is based on an appropriation [of les~
bian sexuality]. It's actually not for your enjoyment. It's just what
these two characters are doing.
And it's a mixed bag, because in certain ways you want it to be
OK with everyone. You want to have those discussions and put
it out there and have it be accepted or discussed or whatever, but
this is about the way in which it becomes OK or accepted. There's
a deeper conversation that's going on and there's a deeper implica~
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2014
tion that's happened, and it's a trade~of£ I haven't really wrapped
my head around my feelings about it. But maybe I'll make a film
and work it out that way.
What's next on the horizon for you?
The movie that I'm the most excited about is this biopic about
Tamara de Lempicka, the 1920s bisexual painter. That's really
where my passion is at the moment and why I'm back in L.A.,
getting that on its feet. I have a couple of things lined up, but I
would say what I'm really gearing up for is Tamara's story, because
I think she's such a powerful woman and, obviously, I relate to her
in some ways. I think her story-about trying to balance career and
ambition with her loyalty to her family-taps into a lot of things
that are relevant to women today. Especially because in 1920s
Paris it was a time of sexual exploration and freedom, and one of
the first times that women were getting a foothold, economically
and power~wise. That's really reflective of Hollywood today,
specifically in terms of women and film and what's happening
right now. ( thetruthaboutemanuel.com)
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JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
THE LARGESTGI L PARTYMUSIC FESTIVALIN THE WORLD
THE ORIGINALDINAH SHORE WEEKEND
APRIL 2-6, 2014 I PALM SPRINGS,CA
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Saturday Night we present
a major artist in concert,
visit TheDinah.com
for details!
plus
IGGYAZALEA
in concert,
Mary Lambert,
singing "Same Love,"
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis'
VMA award-winning hit single & LGBTanthem
Porcelain
Hunter
Black,
Valentine
and more.
Check website for up to date Dinah entertainment
Hilton almost sold out
Book on line now in our second hotel The Saguaro
Tickets on sale right now at the best available price.
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SILVER
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@DinahShore
@rheDinah
e
DinahShore
eet U.K.
lesbian pop duo,
RednPinkl Emma
(Pink) and Yoda
(Red) hang out
with the likes of
Jessie J, and
perform regularly
in British Gay
Prides and music
festivals like
Glastonbury.
Yoda-who is in
a relationship
with Big Brother
UK contestant
Shabby-was
on the TV show
Candy Bar Girls.
Hipster U.K. pop pair RednPink on their unbreakable bond.
ByStella
&Lucy
48
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JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
How
did
you
meet?
particularly like my style or tattoos, but
Who
areyour
musical
influences
and
icons?
Yoda: School days. Although we didn't go
hey, I'm working on it.
Yoda: Our friends all make music and they
to the same school, we took part in several
Emma: I am actually with a man; I would
are a big inspiration. I would also have
musical theater workshops together.
say I am bisexual. Yoda accepted me and
to say Amy Winehouse, Bob Marley and
Emma: We met through a girl band and
encouraged me when no one else did so it
Michael Jackson, No Doubt too; they have
it was an instant connection. We would
was easy to identify as myself.
all inspired the hell out of me.
Itsounds
asthough
you
make
agreat
team.
Turner too! It's all about the funk.
spend most of our weekends together
from thereon after.
Emma: Prince is my number one. Tina
Yoda: It is really embarrassing, but we
Emma: We have the same aspirations and
used to get together, and you know, sing
ideals in life. We are very different but
What
have
you
got
inthepipeline?
in front of the mirror, as you do. [Laughs]
very similar too. There is a mutual respect
Yoda: Germany tour. The Germans love us
between us. This is why we are named
and they are so free and open over there.
Sohow
long
have
you
known
one
another?
RednPink because they are strong, fiery
We are starting on the new single and on the
Yoda: Oh, wow, way over 10 years. Emma
colors. We have been told they clash,
album really soon and our new stuff wont be
and I were never an item, never together-
but when you have such a tight
together but Emma was the reason I knew
friendship it can only work
I was gay. You fool around at a young
well together.
age, right? She was my first-ever lesbian
Yoda: When I first
encounter. We really connected; she
met Emma
helped me get over my heartache that
essentially what
so urban, definitely more alternative.
We are in L.A. this month and
I had experienced in my heterosexual
made me want
relationships. The things my body was
to work with
next single
doing I couldn't even believe, I had never
her was her
now that our
known anything like it. Emma never judged
talent. Our
first single
me, I could just be me and I never had that
lives opened
"Badman"
freedom with my family.
each other's
was released
Emma: At the time I had a boyfriend, so
eyes. There
technically Yoda and I were having an
was genuine
affair; we were around 20 when we both
respect and love
felt physically attracted to each other.
for one another.
Yoda: I didn't know whether or not I loved
Creatively we fill the
Emma as a friend or as my lover, but time
gaps in each other's
working on our
in August
and is now on
What
inspired
your
first
single
and
who
wrote
thelyrics?
made me realize that she was far more
lives and we share the same
important to me as my friend to carrying
values. Our friendship is my rock.
on having this affair and fuck up any
There is no relationship that can quite
something one day, came in the studio
chance of us remaining so spiritually and
honestly compare.
and barn! She wrote, [a poem that]
musically bonded.
Yoda: Emma was pissed off about
became "Badman."
Emma: Yoda and I have a complete,
Doyou
ever
fight?
Emma: If you have a negative mind frame,
unconditional love.
Yoda: Emma is straight to the point; the
it is creating a reality. Be aware of what
thought of upsetting her makes me feel
you say because it can be perceived in all
So,
how
doyou
identify?
sick. It takes so much for me to speak out.
kinds of ways.
Yoda: I've been gay since way back-I just
Emma: If her behavior is not reflecting
Yoda: If you think negatively you attract
love women. I am not against men but
who she is I pick her up on it and I discuss
negativity. If you think positive, positive
when I am single-and
it with her immediately. When we used to
things come. You can choose to change
your life. If you hang around with good
I am single now-it
is always women I flock to, and they are
argue, we would sit there for hours and
the attraction. I just love women so much.
discuss it with a bottle of red; it's not
people they will introduce you to
It took me years to finally accept I was gay,
good for me to harbor things when she is
good people. That pretty much defines
and coming from a Greek Cypriot family
the most important person in my life.
the lyrics.
this made-and
Yoda: My first girlfriend couldn't handle
still makes-things
very
difficult. You can't be openly gay, not all
my friendship with Emma. People find it
Finally
what
doyou
dotochill
out
and
relax?
my family knows and to be honest they
tough because we are so, so close.
Yoda: Our chill time revolves around yoga
don't need to. The family that know is OK
Emma: Oh we have had people
and meditation, taking in nature and talking
with it. My grandparents are my breath, I
desperately trying to get in between us.
with friends about each other's lives.
wouldn't want to hurt them at such fragile
My man totally understands who we are
Emma: Good food and friends is a definitely
ages by exposing who I am, they don't
and loves Red.
a big one for us. (rednpink.co.uk) •
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
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49
FEATURES/
ROMAN
Out lesbian photographer Steph
Grant has a knack for showing real,
raw love. Last year, that talent was
showcased when her photo shoot of
an Indian-themed lesbian wedding
in Los Angeles went viral. The
gorgeous, lush images of Shannon
and Seema's wedding-the brides
wearing a blend of northern Indian
and Western wedding apparelswept across the Internet because
the love between them just leaps off
the screen. This is the passion that
Grant sets out to capture at every
wedding she shoots. The response
was overwhelming. Support for the
couple poured in from around the
world. It was a dream come true
for Grant, who has always hoped
to make the world a better place
through her art.
How do you capture romance in your
photographs?
People always say,"It'sthe little things in life:'
It's easy to look back at your wedding day and
remember the big things, but the little things
sometimes go unnoticed. My goal is for clients
to look back, years down the road, and feel those
little moments in each image. That smile or wink,
the tear that rolled down someone's cheek when
the love of their life locked eyes with them as
they walked down the aisle- I want my clients to
cherish my images because they make them feel
their love story.
What's the best thing about wedding
photography?
It is such an emotional event in a person's life, and
I love sharing in that! I also like that weddings can
be a challenge, and that each one is unique! A fun
fact: At receptions, I have a soft spot for slideshows
of childhoods or snapshots from when the couple
was dating, with their favorite songs playing as an
accompaniment. I grin like an idiot.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
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51
What do you think about your
recent photographs of an Indian
lesbian wedding going viral?
My thought process after my friend
texted me saying that someone posted
my images on Tumblr and that they
had 76,000 notes: 1) Wow, awesome!
2)What are notes? 3) I need to get a
Tumblr and thank this person! 4) My
website crashed. This is a big deal! 5)
How can I use this to help out others?
6) I am so happy that love is spreading
like wildfire and overwhelmed at the
positive feedback.
Every time you shoot an LGBT
wedding this year, you're donating
some of the proceeds to the Trevor
Project. What made you decide
to do it?
I chose the Trevor Project because I've
been there. I've been that kid or teen who
felt like I was damaged goods and had no
one to turn to. The Trevor Project helps
kids who need someone to listen and be
there for them.
When people see your photos of
LGBT weddings, how do you think
they'll be influenced?
Stereotypes are gross, but they're
everywhere. I'd love for my images
to knock certain stereotypes out the
window and for people to see that love
is just love. I love it that people have
seen the images from the lesbian Indian
wedding and said, "Wow, how could
anyone look at these and not see the
beauty and extreme love these two have
for one another? How could anyone deny
them thatr" Love is a powerful thing and
it conquers all negativity.
What's your idea of a perfect
wedding?
My perfect wedding would take place
in the fall. There would be a circle of
tall pine trees. And crisp weather. There
would be vows written from the heart,
to make me tear up. Fire pits, blankets,
lots of hugs. Of course, singing at the
top of our lungs, hearty laughter and a
ridiculous amount of maniacal dancing,
too. More importantly, all the people I
love would be in one place, under the
stars, making happy memories. You
have no idea how proud I am of our
country and the strides it has made.
Now I can say that this is no longer
a distant dream, but a reality for me.
( stephgrantphotography.com)
•
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FEATURES/
ROMAN
I
Lawfully Wedded Wiv
author Nona Caspers t
a close look at the instit
of marriage.
ByCygnFogl
us e
FEATURES/
ROMAN
Nona Caspers has plenty to
say on the subject of samesex marriage. Her latest
book, Lawfully Wedded
Wives (co-edited with Joell
Hallowell) might at first
seem like an intimidating
read. Those quaint
buzzwords-institution,
marriage, ceremony,
monogamy-can set a
queer girl's teeth on edge.
EDITED BY NONA CASPERS AND JOELL HALLOWELL
What's interesting is that despite having
literally written a book on marriage,
Caspers understands and even shares
some of these feelings.
She revisited a scene from her youth
as we spoke over the phone, she from her
home in San Francisco-just
a mile from
the Castro. "When I was first sleeping
with women in the early'80s ... I was
wearing orange fishnets, mini~skirts,
painting my face, going to women's
studies classes. I just wanted it all. I did
a performance art piece about marriage
where I had three women in wedding
dresses-this
is in my early twentiessitting on ladders and they had gold rope
coming down from them, so they were
bound, and they were bound to romance
novels and the bible at the bottom. So you
can see, I was an artistic critiquer of those
forms. So this book feels really awkward
to me, to tell you the truth;' says Caspers.
"Now we did an event and it went really
well and I cried and all this stuff and I
was really surprised, but there's always a
part of me that's like, God, it shouldn't be
me on this book. I feel a little bit like an
impostor:'
One thing is made evident in the book;
the concerns and qualms of the individual
melt away in the presence of those
things that loom larger: family, a sense of
responsibility and interconnectedness. In
the intro to Lawfully Wedded Wives,
Caspers talks about an instance in which
her nieces approached her at a family
event and posed the following question:
"Nona, can girls really marry girls?" Her
original response was a resounding: "Girls
can do whatever girls want to do:' But as
she reflected back on that day, Caspers
spoke about the potential impact of
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
55
these stories. "I think about my nieces
and I just think, I don't know, I want the
world to be bigger for them; not big with
emptiness, but big with intimacy, big
with that they can ... feel. Like they can
create and be a participant in their own
life. Whether they're gay or straight, I
don't think it matters; I think this affects
everyone's sexuality-and
everyone's
sense of who they are with love and
romance and coupledom. It radiates our:'
Along with the comfort and security
marriage can offer, Caspers doesn't shy
away from the parts of the institution
that are far from fairy tales. "Some
[women] changed their names because
they lived in rural parts of California
where [they were] public people or
teachers and still now were just like, 'You
know what, I can't be this public with
my lesbianism, with my relationship: So
they changed their names;' Caspers tells
me. "Two couples divorced and then we
had the one divorced woman who had
already been divorced. She's remarried
now. But you know, that's part of the
story, too. I say in the foreword that
queers have the right to move toward
chaos like everybody else [laughs]. OK,
so what? Because people say, 'Oh well,
they're getting married, they're all going
to get divorced; or whatever. I don't think
it matters;' she laughs. "I think it's all
part of it, the right to marry, the right
to divorce, the right to make a big fat
mess out of your relationship. What's
interesting to me is, it's like, chaos is
natural;' she adds.
Caspers' desire to encourage a world in
which anything is possible for her nieces
sets the stage for the book's theme of
family and community.
Many of these stories share a common
thread, an urge to define and to choose,
along with a desire to create dialogue and
context. Esther and Melinda, a couple
profiled in the book, is an example.
Esther, who is half Navajo and half
Spanish, met Melinda, whose mother's
side is from Mexico, in college. For these
women, their respective communities
were a central focus for them in the
conversations leading up to their
ceremony. In the midst of hand~made
moccasins, uniquely crafted family colors
for regalia, and gifted eagle feathers,
they found that the labels melted away;
"Having conversations about, 'OK, here
56
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
we are, we've been this lesbian couple
in this community, nobody really talks
about it that much. Now we're getting
married. For us, marriage is this, so
we're going to have these conversations:
And they've never had them before.
So that's the other thing that I just
found really interesting. That they were
having conversations and creating more
intimacy with their families and their
community. I found that really moving:'
(weddedwives.com) •
Paloma& Sara
It's hard to believe that 2013 marks the
lO~year anniversary of the first U.S. State
to legalize same~sex marriage. In that
same year, Bernadette Coveney Smith
launched 14 Stories, the first company
in the U.S. specializing in planning legal
same~sex weddings. "Same~sex couples
had been having commitment ceremonies
for years;' she says, "but when the law
changed we started seeing amazing, very
powerful and moving legal marriages. It
was very profound to be a part of history:'
Coveney Smith, who lives in New York
City with her wife Jen and their young
son, Patrick, calls herself an activist,
as reflected in the name 14 Storiescoined from the 14th Amendment,
which has been used as the basis for
major civil rights victories throughout
history. Furthermore, it represents the
14 individuals who were plaintiffs in
that very first case in Massachusetts,
which made marriage equality a reality
in that state.
As someone who has worked with
hundreds of LGBT couples Coveney
Smith has multiple stories to tell, many
from couples who never thought they
would see their wedding day. She walks
them through the process with thoughtful
guidance on current trends, traditions
and ways to express themselves. "Planning
a wedding can be a pretty vulnerable
experience, and having someone who is
relatable establishes a solid foundation of
trust;' she says.
And not every wedding has to be
wildly expensive, Coveney Smith explains.
She plans weddings all over the U.S. and
also offers affordable elopement packages,
which have proven to be very popular and
great value. "I start with a blank sheet of
paper;' she says, "and ask a couple, "What
kind of wedding do you want to have?"
The passion Coveney Smith has for her
business is palpable. "One of the many
things that I love is the spirit of joy and
triumph present at our weddings. There's
something mighty and powerful about
the minority celebrating equal rights
and I feel that all of our weddings make
history and change the world:'
But what else makes same~sex
weddings so different? In Coveney Smith's
experience there are several nuances. For
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2014
example, fewer couples choose a place
of worship and the wedding parties are
much smaller. She usually plans for the
formal photos to happen before the
ceremony and to avoid the question of,
"Who is walking down the aisle last?"
she creates two aisles with each partner
processing simultaneously. Essentially,
14 Stories honors historic traditions
important to the couple and modifies the
usual gender roles that define straight
weddings. "There are no rules" she says,
"and hopefully no expectations from
friends and family, so I encourage our
couples to be as creative as they like:'
Given that the institution of marriage
has been based on very gendered
functions, it is interesting to see how
same~sex couples are changing the mold
of what a wedding denotes. Coveney
Smith believes that this timeless rite of
passage is an opportunity to symbolize
equality. "Even if Aunt Bess and Aunt
Susan have been living together for 20
years and are beloved by their family,
does anyone really know their
anniversary?" she says. "Well, after
their wedding, people will remember.
Equal weddings actually create a
profound ripple effect, which I believe
fundamentally changes society:'
At print time, 15 U.S. states plus
Washington, D.C. have full, legal,
marriage equality. According to the
national organization Freedom to Marry,
"Over 35 percent of the U.S. population
lives in a state that either has the freedom
to marry or honors out~of~state marriages
of same~sex couples:'
Coveney Smith attests this equality
momentum to the participation of
straight ally wedding guests. It is a fact
that the rights of a minority were never
won without the support of the majority.
As Coveney Smith points out, over the
past decade more and more straight
people have celebrated the union of
their friends and family members and,
"the sky hasn't fallen:' In fact, quite the
opposite happens. They are so moved by
the unconditional love that has survived
in the face of stigma and discrimination,
often 14 Stories weddings are even more
powerful. The guests go back to their
workplace and share, "I went to the best
wedding last weekend ... " and Coveney
Smith concludes, "That is how we change
society:' (14stories.com) •
FEATURES/
ROMAN
You've tried onlinzng,
blind dates,
Happy Hours a/your local lesbian
ba -and M . ·ght still eludes you.
Perhaps you've overlooked a simple but
misunderstood social skill-flirting.
flirting can help you find love and win
a pr0motion at work-so says Rachel
e1 lto, trial a to ey, communications
expert, life coach, matchmaker and, yes,
expert on flirting. The author of the
bestseller Flirt Fearlesslyis dedicated to
redeeming the reputation of flirting, and
using it to achieve your goals in life.
But how can lesbians flirt with finesse,
and not come off looking like Crazy Eyes
from OrangeIs the New Black?
"I think flirting is a way of making
people feel like they're the center of the
universe for however long you want to
give them that honor;' says DeAlto. "It
can be done platonically. It can be done
romantically. It doesn't have to be about
seduction. It can be, but it's really about
connecting on a human level. We've kind
of forgotten how to do that:'
Posting on Facebook doesn't teach
people how to connect. Flirting is one
way of breaking down the walls that
technology has enabled us to put up. It's
"not about a pickup line;' stresses DeAlto.
"It's about connecting with somebody and
making them feel special:'
For same~sex~attracted women, flirting
can be complicated. Certain rules that
have their roots in the socializiation of
men and women may not apply between
two women. As a gender we're already
more relational: Kissing and touching can
be part of a greeting even between friends.
So how do you get the message across
that you are romantically interested in
another woman?
"Women are so much more naturally
connected to each other that it needs
to be stepped up a notch;' says DeAlto.
"But women are conditioned to not be
sexually aggressive: You shouldn't be the
pursuer because you're a woman. So in
the lesbian community there's a condition
that it's about stepping up that game. Let
her know you're interested in her without
saying it out loud. So if you're touching
her on the small of her back, that's
great-but
leave your hand there for a
while. Look into her eyes. Maintain your
60
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
eye contact beyond what's normal for a
platonic conversation. And then ask her
for a drink. There's no harm in taking it to
the next level and saying, 'I'd love to take
you out: Put it out there:'
DeAlto says that lesbians flirt with her
"all the time" and she takes notice, much
like Lady Gaga, who famously says, "I
find lesbians to be way more daring than
straight men, when it comes to coming on
to you. And I really like that:'
"To me, it's all a compliment:' says
DeAlto. "It's a compliment to be thought
to be attractive. But don't come on too
strong. Some people are over~flirts. I'm a
big fan of ramping it up a little bit, but get
to know me, have a conversation with me.
"Telling someone they have a really
great ass or great boobs is taking it over
the line. Telling someone they have a
really great smile, that it lights up the
room-that's
a really nice thing to hear:'
The first rule is to be authentic. "I teach
people to embrace who they are, to make
their own connections in a way that's
authentic to them:'
The danger with flirting is that it is
seen as-and can be-manipulative.
"There are people who use their powers
for evil;' notes DeAlto, "being coercive
with their charisma:' DeAlto cautions
that flirting should not be used just to "get
some:' Flirting requires an investment of
time, and isn't 'Just hit~and~run. A pickup
line is intended to get someone else
sexually interested. When you're flirting
with someone, it's really about making
an actual personal connection. It's about
listening and having a conversation. It's
not about how you look or fl.ashing leg.
It's about finding a shared interest:'
DeAlto is so convinced of the positive
power of flirting that she's bringing it out
of the bar and the bedroom and into the
boardroom.
"There are so many ways that the
flirting strategies I use for my dating
clients work for my corporate clients as
well. I do networking training because
networking is kind of like speed dating,
and being able to present yourself and
find your voice-talk about who you are
as a professional-is almost the same as
talking about who you are as a person to
date. It might not be what some people
perceive as flirtation, but it's really using
or developing your charisma to be better
and more successful in the workplace. It's
the same thing, just a different goal:'
Flirt at work? "I do not condone
making out with people at the Christmas
party;' DeAlto laughs. "That's just a hot
mess. Don't do it! There's a way to get
ahead as a woman, whether you are a
lesbian or not. Women bring a different
perspective and so many values into the
workplace that don't have to be sold
sexually to everybody else. There's a way
to get ahead by connecting with people
without having to flash some cleavage:•
(racheldealto.com) •
Sex and sexuality exp
at it again, but this time
she is not releasing a new
producing and launching
LL OF HER, a high~end
ased on her books Lesbian
: 101 Lovemaking Positi
e Guide to Lesbian Sex. ALL
R will show you
ul and sexy lesbian, bisexual, queer
ge
ormers fucking like porn stars, but it's not
by any means your typical porn film-it's actually an aesthetically
pleasing and sensuous cinematic experience, and, in the words of
one of its stars, Annie Cruz, it's like "making art with sex:'
Last summer, when ALL OF HER was being filmed and I was
granted access to the closed set, I knew from the moment I walked
in that this project was extraordinary. I was watching a full~on
movie shoot at Factory Studios in Brooklyn, with a crew made
up primarily of women, most of whom identify as lesbian, queer
or bisexual. "They were awesome;' says director Jincey Lumpkin,
glowing with admiration.
Schell's company, Her Sweet Spot Productions, shot ALL OF
HER using three cameras, and adding a fourth, overhead in the
lighting grid, for the final day, so that Lumpkin could get the
sensuous shots she's famous for. Schell likes to "perfectly provoke
the viewer's every sense;' and with their energy and harmony the
lesbian~led crew seemed to know exactly what the director wanted.
In Lumpkin's words, "It's about the experience of sex, not just the
physical aspects of it:'
The whole cast loves having sex with women, so Lumpkins mes~
sage to them was pretty simple: "Enjoy yourselves, take your time,
and feel it;' all of which definitely created some magic on the set.
ALL OF HER intrigued Lumpkin from the beginning. She
thinks Schell's books are not only "really beautiful;' but fun as
well. And she shares Schell's elevated erotic vision of female sex~
uality. 'Tm really proud of the visuals we got;' she says.
Schell herself is no stranger to filmmaking, having worked in
the entertainment industry for 17 years, notably with Merchant
111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
VIVA
THE
QUEER
SEX
REVOLUTION
J.S ppho
Thirty sexual trailblazers who have
shaped the way we
view and have sex.
By Cygnus Fogle,
Merryn Johns, Mia
Manns, Katherine
Wright and
Kristen Youngs
Greek poet of
the 7th century
whose poems
expressed love
and desire for
women. The
words "lesbian"
and "Sapphic"
originate
with her.
2. Simone
de Beauvoir
French writer
whose epic
1949 work The
Second Sex
examined the
female gender,
refuted the theories of Freud,
and influenced
second-wave
feminist
thought and lesbian feminism.
3. Susie Bright
American writer,
performer,
"sex pert,"
and sex-positive feminist
pioneer who in
1983 co-founded On Our
Backs, a magazine for "the
adventurous
lesbian."
1111111111111111111111111111111
ieSprinkle
orker turned sex
ate and a key
in the sex-posiminist movemen
the '80s.
5. Felice Newman
With years of experience in sex education
and somatic coaching,
Newman wrote The
Whole Lesbian Sex
Book: A Passionate
Guide for All of Us and
co-founded Cleis Press.
6. Ju eSchell
Author of
best-selling
Lesbian Sex
101, which
lusciously
illustrates and
describes 101
inventive sex
positions for
lesbians.
7. Betty
Dodson
Artist, author,
and sex-positive feminist,
Dodson
pioneered the
electric vibrator as a tool for
pleasure and
self-love, and
has written
many books on
the intricacies
of sexology.
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Ivory Productions. She was an assistant to the producers for the
films Surviving Picassoand In Custody,and the production coordi~
nator and assistant to the unit manager for the New York shoots
of Jefferson in Paris and The Proprietor.In collaboration with the
Academy of Motion Pictures, Schell oversaw the restoration and
re~release of The Masterworks of Satyajit Ray, and coordinated
the production of its theatrical trailer, shooting commentary with
James Ivory, Louis Malle, and Martin Scorsese. Schell also assisted
on the Killer Films indie production of Office Killer, Cindy
Sherman's directorial debut.
Since Schell's books have become best sellers for Random
House (Lesbian Sex has now been translated into four languages),
her decision to make them the basis of a lush film seemed natural.
"It's the evolution of where my books have been going," she says.
Schell's inspiration for Lesbian Sex was the Kama Sutra. When
she discovered that there may have been a Kama Sutra for women,
a pleasure guide whose sensual secrets were lost when the book
was burned, she decided to "re~imagine a whole new book" -and
now a film version, too, addressing the need for sophisticated
erotic entertainment for women by women. Not just to get women
Gibson Glory
Romantic and elegant
women's emancipation
circa 1890, starring April
O'Neil and Sovereign Syre
Les Bon Temps
A kinky New Year's Eve
celebration in 1920s Paris
starring Annie Cruz and
Shyla Jennings
Lingerie by BEXnyc;
Shoes by Pour La Victoire;
Toys by Good Vibrations;
Vintage jewelry by The
Wanderlust Girls
~
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8. Tristan
Taormina
Featured in
over 200 publications, and
author of seven
books, Taormina
runs her own
adult film
company, Smart
Ass Productions,
as well as a
sex-positive educational website,
Puckerup.com.
9. Carol Queen
Writer of explicit
fiction and nonfiction. Queen
is a worker/
owner at Good
Vibrations,
where she runs
educational
events and
workshops.
10. Nina Hartley
Sex-positive
feminist and
bisexual porn
actor, director
and sex educator, Hartley is
an advocate
of "total sex,"
mature sex, and
authentic lesbian scenes in
adult films.
12. lleneChaiken Cocreator and executive
producer of some of the
most iconic representations
of lesbians in pop culture,
including The L Word.
11.Sh ne Louise Houston
Di~ector and producer for
Pink and White Productions,
Houston's first adult film,
Crash Pad, has become a hit
series, and she's since gone
on to receive awards and
begin other projects.
13. Kate
Bornstein
Transgender
icon, performance artist,
and advocate
ositivtein is
uthor
tion
at
gender
rkbooks and
ueer how-to
uides.
15. Lana Wachowski
Pussy" is a trans
porn pioneer
who along with
Allanah Starr
shot the first sex
scene between a
trans woman and
a trans man.
This writer-directorproducer is an openly
transgender woman
and one-half of the
sibling duo behind the
movie Bound, which
introduced the world
to butch goddess
Cor y (Gina Gershon).
off and "teach them about squirting;' as Schell likes to say, but to
pay homage to the many ways women have sex and perhaps show
them something new that will encourage them to pursue their
vast capacities for pleasure.
The film takes you through 101 lesbian sex positions, so you'll
know just how to try them, and why you might want to-and
includes interviews with the cast, which are fun, flirty and sweet,
and give you an intimate opportunity to connect with the per~
formers as you watch them interact with the books and with each
other, not as "typical" porn stars, but as unique individuals. There
are also educational tidbits of information from outside experts.
"I want to entice, inspire, educate and empower women, as much
as entertain them;' says Schell. Inclusion is also important to
Schell, which is why ALL OF HER provides you with a wide range
of viewing options, whether you're looking for sensual erotica, a
little kink, or something more hardcore.
Director Lumpkin shares Schell's vision of providing women
with a transcendental erotic experience. Lumpkin began pioneering
"cinematically inspired" lesbian porn when she found herself being
more turned on by sex scenes in mainstream movies than by porn
itsel£ In ALL OF HER, Lumpkin brings to life how women actu~
ally have sex, and captures it all with a decidedly "female gaze:' She
captures not only real sex, but the sensual nuances of sex, honing
in on the cast's breathing, and even the sweat beading on their skin.
Castmates Jiz Lee, Ela Darling, Annie Cruz, and Sovereign
Syre all talked to me after the shoot about the amazing time they
had on set, whether it was the professionalism of the crew that
they recalled, or Lumpkin's art direction, or the cinematic expe~
rience of shooting, or the simple fact that Schell's crew was like
one big happy, and often raunchy, family. For some, it made a real
difference in their performance."It was some of the best work I've
ever done;' says Darling.
The positions in Lesbian Sex have witty names like "Lilith and
Eve" and "Riveting Rosie;' and Schell sprinkles historical and
cultural references throughout the erotic essays in The Guide
to Lesbian Sex, which inspired Lumpkin to develop scenes with
what she calls "a sense of legends:' Eight deliciously designed
sets introduce different eras, ranging from ancient Greece to the
1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
pioneers, Bannon
wrote The Beebo
Brinker Chronicles
between 1957 and
'62. The series
became hugely influential in gay and
lesbian literature.
17. Madonna
During the '90s,
gay rights was
becoming a
topic of conversation around
the world, and
society was looking to explore
sexuality in a
non-mainstream
way. Madonna
created the
album Erotica,
exploring sexual
taboos when no
one else was.
18. Marlene
Dietrich
Hollywood actor
and gay icon in
the '30s. She's
famous for wearing men's suits,
singing a love
song to another
woman onscreen,
and for a highly
publicized
series of female
conquests.
19. Bessie Smith
Called the Empress
of the Blues, Bessie
Smith was an influential, woman-loving
jazz and blues voca list of the Roaring
'20s. A queer
African-American
woman, she has exelicit lesbian content
in her
songs.
20. Kat erine Linton is a
ceAtemporary revolutionary
focused on lesbian sex and
identity. She directed and
produced Lesbian Sex and
Sexuality, a LOGO series
that is as inquisitive as it is
experimental.
21. Dr. Lisa
Diamond Dr.
Diamond's book
Sexual Fluidity:
Understanding
Women's Love
and Desire
continues where
Kinsey ends,
positing the important ideas that
sexual orientation
changes over
time and falling
in love is more
about the person
than the gender.
0
Writer-actor Turner
and director-producer
Troche introduced sexy,
edgy, and controversial
lesbian representations
with Go Fish (1994), The
L Word (2004-'09), and
Concussion (2013).
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Sappho Smiles
Lyrical love with a dash of Tantra in ancient
Greece starring Ela Darling and April O'Neil
Modern Love
Gender-bending 1950s role-play starring
Jiz Lee and Sovereign Syre
present day. You'll find a scene inspired by the 1950s and '60s
alongside one based in Paris in the '20s. Then there's my personal
favorite, "Gibson Glory;' set in the 1800s and featuring Sovereign
Syre, who I fell just a little bit in love with, and April O'Neil, with
whom she has some really amazing on~screen chemistry.
The inspiration to look back into history went deeper than the
desire to make a visually sensuous film; Schell and Lumpkin
wanted to create a window into what real sex between women
looked like back in the day-and ALL OF HER offers you the
fantasy of erotic time travel.
Since she'd woven the 101 positions into the film, I naturally
wanted to know which ones were Schell's favorites, in and out of
the bedroom-and
while the lady doesn't like to kiss and tell, she
doesn't like to disappoint, either. "I do enjoy the power bottom of
'Mount St. Helen; and appreciate when one is commanded to sit
on a lover's face for a dip into 'Priscilla's Punchbowl: And I love a
feisty 'Patty in the Sky; if I'm feeling mischievous, or when she's
naughty;' Schell says.
Amazing on~screen chemistry, gorgeous stars, stunning visuals,
and lush sets-all are yours through ALL OF HER, and, frankly,
it's something you really have to see for yoursel£ You won't be
sorry. (allofherthemovie.com) •
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his writer-director is responsible
for the landmark
lesbian film Claire
of the Moon
(1992).Conn is
perhaps most well
known for shooting the longest
lesbian kiss in film
history, in Elena
Undone (2010).
24. Ma Rainey
Known as the
Mother of the
Blues, the
singer became
one of the first
performers to
record the blues,
after she signed
with Paramount
Records in 1923.
Her song "Prove
It to Me Blues"
doesn't attempt
to hide her
relationships
with women.
25. Janis Joplin The bisexual
singer-songwriter captivated
audiences with live performances exuding unbridled
female sexuality and inspired
a generation of sexy songstresses such as Amanaa
Palmer and Peacfies.
26. Phyllis
Christopher In
the '90s, honest
depictions of
lesbian sexuality were rare;
however, photographer Phyllis
Chistopher
recorded the
zeitgeist for
On Our Backs.
Her images,
capture lesbians
embracing their
sexuality in all its
myriad forms.
en Everett
An award-winning
filmmaRer, Everett
has completed
a b<xlyof work
that explores sex,
27. Virginia
self-pleasure,
Woolf Bisexual
and polyamory.
author Virginia
Her most notable
Woolf is one of
film, Women in
the most notable
modernist literary Love, chronicles
a polyamorous
figures of the
experience in
20th century. A
San Francisco at
number of her
famous works fea- the height of the
sexual revolution
ture feminist and
in the '90s.
lesbian themes.
29. Rita Mae
Brown In spite
of the attempts
of second-wave
feminists to
exclude lesbians
from the wornen's movement,
Brown led the
Radicalesbians
(aka the
Lavender
Menace)
and
penned
Rubyfruit
Jungle.
30. Natalie
Clifford
Barney The
American
expat poet was
a lesbian and a
feminist. In her
home on the Left
Bank in Paris,
she hosted a literary salon that
was a gathering
place for
queer artists for
over 60
years.
SOVEREIGN SY
Girl on
The compelling adult screen siren Sove'"!~~~!:~•re
wo an who
knows what she wants-and
goes for it
like baing passive
during sex. I tend to do what I want, unless someone w ngles me,
otherwise I'm going to top the scene;' says Syre, which is exactly what
she did in her scene with queer porn icon Jiz Lee in ALL OF HER,
giving it a rather surprising ending.
Like her castmates, Syre had a great time on the set of ALL OF
HER, loving the crew, atmosphere, aesthetic and the bonus of work~
ing with April O'Neil, made it a"very cool experience:' Syre is now
moving from being in front of the camera to being behind it. With
two girl~on~girl films under her belt she is gearing up to direct two
more, one featuring ALL OF HER castmate Ela Darling.
Syre knew from her first time on set that she wanted to be in the
• ector's chair."! like being in control;' she says. In real life Syre has
a gi iend, and, like director Jincey Lumpkin and writer~produo
Jude S ell, wants to show how wome
of psych logical and emotional realis .
ELADARLING
Beauty
and
Brains
Once upon a time Ela Darling was a reference librarian assistant director with a
Masters in Library Science, but these days
you can find her burning up the screen in
some of your favorite lesbian erotic filmswhich is not all that surprising since Darling
loves books and pussy. Her sensual, savvy
onscreen style combines classic strawberry blond looks with the mission to get off
by turning her partners on. Filming ALL
OF HER was a professional milestone for
Darling. "Jincey [Lumpkin] made me look
the best I've ever looked;' she says."She's my
fairy porn mother:'
Darling was excited by the fact that the
set was loaded with smart, strong women
both behind the camera and in front of it,
so while being 'glamorous and professional;'
the set was alive with an "atmosphere of
positivity:' There was also a sweetness factor-an impromptu birthday party complete with cake and singing. You won't see
that when you watch ALL OF HER but
you will see Darling's super hot scenes with
April O'Neil and with Pepper Kesterand that's a firestorm you don't want to
miss. (darlingela.com)
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JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
ANNIECRUZ
Erotic Artist
"I just love passionate, hot sex. And kissing. I love kissing:' It's all about
chemistry for Annie Cruz-it's the spark that makes a scene really amazing.
When you see ALL OF HER, it's clear that there was plenty of pizzazz in
her scenes-a rough~and~tumble day withJiz Lee, and a private New Year's
Eve with Shyla Jennings-something
she's not shy about. "There was so
much raw chemistry;' says Cruz. Part of that spark was created by respond~
ing to the desires of her partners, and her own, too. "It was a lovely surprise
to be working with women who love having sex with women;' she says.
Filming ALL OF HER was also fun for Cruz, earning a special place in
her heart. "It was one of my favorite sets to work on;' she says. So much so
that she came by to hang out when her friend Ela Darling was filming. "It
was fun to watch it all happen magically before my eyes:' The on~set magic
made it a very atypical experience for Cruz. "It was more like making art
with sex;' she says. (anniecruz.com)
J.A
PROVOCATIV
READS
TO
CURL
UPWITH
The Vagina: A Literary and
Cultural History
by Emma L. E. Rees
In Bed with Claudine
For the adult who hasn't given up on bedtime stories.
BY KRISTEN YOUNGS
Everyone enjoys a good bedtime story. Growing up with tales
of princesses, heroes or fantastic creatures has intrigued or
soothed many a youngster to sleep. But nighttime yarns
aren't just for kids, says Maybe I'll Tell you a Bedtime Story
author Claudine Lanthenay who is on a mission to put a
sexy spin on the traditional late night story, with her white
hot, fun lesbian erotica.
Lanthenay wasn't always an erotic author. After seeing a
post on Facebook for an erotic story submission deadline, the
journalist decided to take a chance, with the idea that the genre
is "such a playful and wide-ranging form." Although she didn't end up
submitting her work to the series, she did send it out to another publishing company.
The spontaneous writer had an ebook contract signed within days.
Success followed with the publishing of Maybe /'fl Tell You a Bedtime Story (available on Kindle). The story follows Toni and Sonia, a lesbian couple who quickly learns
that there is much more to the other than they previously thought. As Sonia walks in
on Toni enjoying some alone time with her computer in bed one day, the two open
up a new sexual world that sizzles with desire.
Lanthenay hopes that her readers "will enjoy the parts of
(7-)Maybe I'll Tell You a
their sex life that engage with fantasy and storytelling" in
a way that they might not have before. In the end, though,
she admits that the story was simply fun to write and
hopes that it, in turn, is equally as fun for people to read.
Next for the lesbian author is two new erotic tales that
will be part of an upcoming anthology published by a
queer writers group that Lanthenay created with a friend.
Look for it to come out early this year and in the meantime,
satisfy that nighttime craving with Maybe I'll Tell You a
Bedtime Story. Although, fair warning, it won't leave you
feeling drowsy. (lanthenaytumblr.com)
ouedt::iJne
Sw~
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JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
This book is not shy. The cover
image of an upside-down book
cracking just a little bit at the
spine is enough to hint at the
book's namesake. The contents
are similarly provocative and
bold, if also fairly academic.
The vagina is examined and
dissected by a number of
disciplines (history, cultural
studies, art, linguistics) and
the result would be a very
in-depth and fairly heavy read
if it weren't for the author's
well-timed interjections throughout of relatable anecdotes, pop
culture references and the
occasional naughty pun.
In The Vagina Reesexamines
the representation of female
genitalia as it appears in literature, visual and performance
art, and film and TV. She writes
about the ways in which the
vagina is made taboo while
it is objectified, and a large
concern for her is the vagina's
"covert visibility"-the ways in
which the vagina is paradoxically hidden and open, and
how we usually manage to refer
to it without saying the word.
Furthermore, the book talks
about the words we use for the
vagina, those we don't, and
those we should.
In an attempt to bring about
increased visibility of the vagina,
Reeswants to get to the bottom of the eradication of the
vagina from the conversations
and settings it should inhabit.
Female genitalia should be
seen, heard about and not
hidden or in any way denied.
-Mia Manns
A Very Civil Wedding
by V.T. Davy
Plays Well in Groups:
A Journey Through the
World of Group Sex
by Katherine Frank
We all have
our own
sexual preferences, desires
and even
fantasies. In
today's society, though,
some of those
acts are more stigmatized than
others. One of these hush-hush
sexual deviations from the
norm is group sex. For many
reasons, group sex is avoided,
but for what reasons? Plays Well
in Groups addresses not only
why group sex is such a stigmatized act, but why people
push the boundaries of societal
rules by partaking in it.
Frank writes the book in a
neutral and purely educational
way, while still keeping the
reader hooked with her witty
voice. Like any successful
anthropologist, Frank has put
herself in many situations and
lived numerous lives, all with
the goal of discovery and
understanding in mind. From
working as a stripper while
studying regular customers to
attending group sex conventions and orgies, the author has
tackled a multitude of taboos
to help readers understand
group sex, who has it, why they
have it, and how it has evolved
over the years. Her use of sociology, biology, anthropology
and psychology explain many
fears, wonders, and worries
behind group sex. Surveys,
research, and interviews all
add to Frank's truly interesting
read. Regardless of whether
you've had even the slightest
interest in anything involving
group sex, Plays Well in Groups
will surely provoke thought and
understanding of a world many
of us will never step foot in.
-Kristen Youngs
·~""'™"'"™'"'~"'°'""
0
The Marrying Kind?
Debating Same-Sex
Marriage Within the
Lesbian and Gay
Movement, edited by Mary
Bernstein and Verta Taylor
As if the fight
for marriage
equality in
mainstream
culture
MARRYING
weren't comKIND?
plex enough,
the issue is
...............................
still heavily
contested within the LGBT
movement itself. It's this internal debate that the various
collaborators of The Marrying
Kind attempt to tackle by asking tough questions including
whether marriage is an institution worth fighting to be a
part of.
Those uninterested in pursing marriage equality argue
that the idea of marriage
equality is just an attempt to
assimilate the queer community
to a heteronormative world,
and is therefore a denial of the
differences that exist. There is
an urge to say, "We're just like
you," but that utterance can
be incredibly damaging to our
identities.
However proponents of marriage equality insist that the
movement is good for activism, bringing about inclusion
and access to all of our rights,
not to mention that some
people do just yearn to get
hitched. Probably the biggest
take-away that Bernstein and
Taylor give us is that a future
in which marriage equality has
been fully realized might look
different from what we expect,
and that the consequences are
certainly worth speculation.
-M.M.
One day,
the heir to
the British
throne could
be gay. For
all we know,
VT. DAVY
this has or
-AVERY
is already
WEDDING happening.
A Very Civil
Wedding, written by V.T.Davy,
puts this idea forth in an highly
realistic way. The story follows
Princess Alexandra, next in line
for the crown, and her partner
Grace Stephens, a Lieutenant
Commander in the Royal Navy.
Both women are out as lesbians
to their friends and family, and
the public catches on to their
more-than-just-friends relationship as soon as they move in
together.
Same-sex marriage is legal,
which leaves conflict out
of that discussion when the
couple announces their engagement. The problem for the two
is getting their union blessed
by the Church-an entirely
different story. The importance
of the blessing is absolute, as
Princess Alexandra will one day
become the Supreme Governor of the Church of England.
Not wanting the marriage to
cause a falling out between
the Church and the Crown, the
British establishment works to
bring solidarity and acceptance
into the picture. Even more
confusion stems from the fact
that a future heir would come
from a sperm donor.
A Very Civil Wedding allows
readers to follow discussions
between various characters
throughout the novel as
they try to find clarity in the
situation. Conversations are
documented in a way that
makes the reader feel as if they
are holding a novel that tells
of a history already passed,
rather than one that has yet to
come. -K.Y.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
73
A Paggion
for
rovence
France's most romantic destination is
perfect for your honeymoon.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
Now that President Hollonde hos signed marriage
equality into low, what better place could there be
to celebrate all things French than in the legendary
South of Fronce, where the sun is always shining
and the wine flows freely! And now, you and your
love con fly direct from New York to Marseille, a
fascinating destination in and of itself-and the
gateway to Provence.
Magnificent
Margeille
Forget Paris! As France's oldest and second most populous city, Marseille has 300
days of sunshine per year, is the gateway to
the South of France, and has all the bustle you would expect from France's largest
commercial port. Founded by the Phoenicians, there is a touch of the sailor about
this city, but if you want a little luxury, the
InterContinental
Marseille- Hotel Dieu,
by Philippe Starck and rates starting from
only 49 euros a night, you can't go wrong.
The onsite bar-restaurant is excellent and
attracts locals with its relaxed bohemian
vibe and tongue-in-cheek decor. Mama
knows best!
The iconic status of Marseille is apparent
when you take a ferry ride to Chateau d'I£
the 16th century fortress that Francois I
built on a small, rocky island to protect this
city. The fortress later became a prison, and
is famous for its role in the 1844 Alexandre
Dumas novel The Count of Monte Cristo, as
the place where the hero is thrown in a dungeon. Today, it must be said, the beautiful
castle, with its artillery towers, drawbridge,
monolithic stonework and stunning views
seems more like prime real estate than digs
on death row!
There is plenty to see and do in Marseille,
from shopping for local soaps and lotions
featuring local Provern;:al herbs such as
lavender, to browsing the waterfront fish
market, to choosing one of many brasseries
to sample the local classic dish, bouillabaisse-a seafood melting pot with a rich
gravy that was once a cheap and sustaining meal created by fishermen from their
unsold catch.
And while we're on the topic of melting pots, there is perhaps no better sign
of Marseille's revival than the fact that it
was voted European Capital of Culture
for 2013, and chosen as the site of the
epic MuCEM (mucem.org/fr), a museum
that takes visitors through an impeccably
curated history of European and Mediterranean civilizations, in all their power
and diversity. Fort Saint-Jean, one of
three buildings that house the museum,
symbolizes Marseille's role as a European capital: A footbridge joins
the massive fort, dating back to the
12th century, to a huge postmodern
cube, and thus the MuCEM figuratively and literally unites past and
present, locals and visitors alike.•
overlooking the Vieux Port and right next
to the oldest district in Marseille, is just
the place for you. On the hotel's beautiful
terrace, you can sip a cocktail at sunset and
watch the hues of the changing sky as you
ponder an evening's adventure-which
need not take you further than this spectacular property, with its two world-class
restaurants, cocktail lounge, indoor pool
and spa.
If the InterContinental is too grand
for your budget, I can also highly recommend the hip-and-happening
budget-priced Mama Shelter (mamashelter.
com/ en/Marseille). With rooms designed
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
75
Amoroug
Avignon
When you're in Provence, you'll soon
find that there are countless cities, towns,
and villages to experience. But for pure
Provern;:al romance, you cannot skip
Avignon. Stay at the sleek and modern
Novotel Avignon Centre, a 4~star hotel
situated just a short walk from the historic
city center. This well~equipped base has
everything you need, including a restau~
rant and bar built around a patio where
you can relax after a day of sightseeing
that will make your head spin. Avignon
has a storybook appearance: It was the cap~
ital of the Christian world in the Middle
Ages, and the city-on the Rhone River
and nestled within the remains of Medi~
eval walls and ramparts-is
intersected
by winding streets and charming squares
shaded by plane trees.
The crowning glory of this city is the
Palace of the Popes (palais~des~papes.com),
the largest Gothic palace in Europe and
the residence of the obscenely wealthy
and gluttonous sovereign pontiffs during
the 14th century. You can spend hours
wandering around this imposing edifice,
which is now a well~preserved World
Heritage Site, and feel much better about
your own excesses!
To soak up the rich history of Avignon,
76
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
visit the numerous museums, which house
a wide variety of collections-for
exam~
ple, archaeology at the Musee Lapidaire,
fine arts at the Musee Calvet, 20th century
masters at the Musee Angladon. Avi~
gnon is also a festival town, and cultural
vibrancy permeates the atmosphere. No
matter what time you visit, you're likely to
encounter landmark exhibitions, theatre,
opera, and contemporary dance. During
my visit, the female artists Camille Clau~
del (the muse and mistress of Rodin, she
spent more time in Avignon than she did
in her Parisian sculpture studio) and Lou~
ise Bourgeois (who only recently passed
away and is famous for her sculptures of
giant spiders) were receiving an adoring
exhibition in the Grande Chapelle in the
Palace of the Popes, and at the Lambert
Collection.
To feast on the artful produce of the
region, wander through the covered mar~
kets of Les Halles (avignon~leshalles.
com), open six days a week, and peruse
the bountiful fruits and vegetables har~
vested from the region ( do taste the wild
strawberries!); or sample sublime meats,
cheeses, and pastries. This is where
many local chefs stock their larders, so in
the evening, indulge in a quintessentially
Provern;:al meal at a number of fine estab~
lishments such as Restaurant Christian
Etienne ( christian~etienne.fr),
situated
in the heart of the old city. This master
chef welcomes you to sup on his season~
al menu in a magical ambience. For an
equally refined repast, La Mirande is a
hotel, restaurant, tearoom, bar, chef's ta~
ble, and cooking school all housed in an
18th century-style mansion at the foot
of the Palais des Papes. The impeccably
restored building has a relaxing, refined,
and romantic atmosphere, and the restau~
rant offers gourmet organic and biody~
namic Provens:al cuisine (la~mirande.fr).
A day in Provence is not complete with~
out lunch in the impossibly picturesque
countryside, and for this there is no better
setting than Le Verger des Papes, in Cha~
teauneufdu~ Pape (vergerdespapes.com).
Here, as you sit on the stone terrace un~
der the distinctive umbrella and Aleppo
pines and take in the scent of wildflowers,
you will truly appreciate the flavors of the
region, along with the relaxing landscape
for which Provence is famous. Afterward
(to keep your wine high going), stop off at
Chateau la Nerthe (chateauneu£com) for
a tasting of quintessential Cotes du Rhone
wines.•
w
0
0
~
w
0
~
-§
0
w
0
0
~
w
0
~
Photos (Clockwise from top left): Medieval
ramparts on the Rhone River; Palace of the
Popes; cafes in leafy villages squares; Papal
performance; a mistral city on the confluence
of two rivers.
.35
0
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
77
The playground of stars, jetsetters, and
beautiful people, Saint-Tropez is worth
the splurge to elevate your own romantic
union to immortality. This charming seaside town was originally a fishing village
perfectly situated on the sparkling coastline of the Cote d'Azur. Today, it offers
many opportunities for couples in love to
stroll hand-in-hand along the touristy but
charming harbor with its nouveau riche
luxury yachts and wander the laneways in
search of souvenirs, such as the sandales
Tropeziennes-simple
but elegant handmade leather sandals (rondini.fr).
If you'd like to bed down with Bardot,
stay at the Hotel de Paris Saint-Tropez
(hoteldeparis-sainttropez.com),
a glitzy
and modern new hotel near the waterfront. The urban-chic decor by Sybille de
Margerie is dazzling yet strikingly tasteful.
The lobby bar looks like a movie set, and
is the perfect spot for people watching.
Raise your head to stare directly into the
bottomless rooftop swimming pool! My
room incorporated the vivid colors and
fluid lines of the Swinging Sixties, (don't
be surprised if your bathtub and your bed
are round, and the walls are decorated
with gorgeous portraits of Bardot herself!)
but elegantly reimagined for contemporary tastes.
Another, even more iconic, option for
accommodation is the historic Hotel Byblos (byblos.com). This sprawling, grand
Mediterranean fantasia was built by the
owner in 1967 to lure Brigitte Bardot into
lingering poolside. Bardot may not have
materialized but countless other glamorous guests did, and Byblos retains the
glamour of Saint-Tropez in its heyday,
when sexy power couples such as
Mick and Bianca lounged, dined,
and partied the night away. •
XL Airways offers direct flights from New York
at reasonable prices for the summer season:
xlairways. fr
To learn more about the region,
contact the following official tourism offices and agencies:
France Tourism Development
Agency: franceguide.com
Avignon Tourist Office:
avignon-tourisme.com
78
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
Saint-Tropez Tourist Office:
ot-saint-tropez.com
Marseille Tourist Office:
marseille-tourisme.com
Go Gay in Provence: A good
resource for what's on for girls, and
gay-owned and gay-friendly accommodations: gay-provence.org/en/
MARKtT
Trip OuU
wtththe2013
Damron Women's Traveller
Women's resorts, bars,
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get Gurl Scout
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Call for a free catalog
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or visit us on line
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byDAMAON
rcffnOOW
InstantAccess
to the
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GotKids?WantKids?
Subscribe to Gay Parent magazine,
a leader in gay parenting resources.
Visit our website
REtire
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e.avParent.
oo·~e~
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MAGAZINE
•
giving those who have
worked hard their whole
lites a good home
REhabilate
nursing those who are
m1ured back to full health
facebook.com/lotlrescue
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
79
A "Fresh"Start
Capricorn energy, Mars in Libra and retro Venus
lead us astray in love. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
All eyes are upon you this
winter. Will you gracefully
bound onto center stage
and charm the masses or will
you work behind the scenes
quietly honing your political
intrigue? No matter what you
decide to do, the spotlight will
find you, Capricorn.
Savor some savory foreign
fare this winter and see where
travel adventure can lead you.
Taurean Bulls can become too
sedate and predictable. But
now, you are tempted to try
something or someone new.
The secret to your success will
be to expand your personal
borders and see life from a
new angle.
Start your new year by
continuing the festivities of
the past year. Find any excuse
to party hearty at any and all
events you can gate crash. You
never know which tall drink
hanging by the bar will quench
your thirst. Keep yourself open
to the possibilities, Virgo and
remember that love is where
you find it.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
CAPRICORN %
(Dec. 23-Jan. 20) %
%
Queer Capricorns %
are careful and politic %
communicators. They are %
%
not gossip hounds and
%
are generally able to keep %
secrets, although they have %
been known to use these %
%
tasty morsels to their own %
advantage later on. Her %
little black book has a list of %
%
skeletons in various closets %
so don't stab her in the %
back Remember, girlfriend %
%
A doormat she is not %
%
AQUARIUS %
%
(Jan. 21-Feb. 19) %
Expect your Aqueerian %
woman to be surrounded %
%
by unusual and unorthodox
%
girlfriends from all walks of %
life who they seem to attract %
through their various groups %
%
and causes She is fairly %
cutting edge in appearance %
herself; "Blending in" is not in %
%
her game plan Who is that %
momma with enough body %
piercings to set off airport %
%
security? Chances are she is
%
an Aqueerian %
%
%
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is theauthor %
of HerScopes:
A Guide
to Astrology%
forLesbians
(Simon& Schuster)- %
%
tinyurl,
com/HerScopes,
%
Nowavailable
asanebook. ~
80
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
Love will have its secrets,
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
dramas and mysteries this
winter. Don't be surprised
Aqueerius.
Geminis will be in the
epicenter of any "wilde" orgy
this winter. Plan your schedule
accordingly. Not only will
you have more than your fair
share of fair shares, but you
will be a sought after partner
for whatever crazy antic tickles
your fancy. Will you be able to
temper your imagination so that
you don't overdo? I doubt it, but
that will be part of the fun.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
if you have an admirer who
becomes a bit of a stalker or
an ex who wants to rekindle.
Uncomfortable? Not really.
You can handle any of these
potential scenarios with
aplomb and grace. Sticky
situations are your forte
Girlfriends want to get into
your act. Let them. They are
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
Libras may find any excuse to
stay close to home, improve
their surroundings and
consolidate their personal
holdings. So make your bed,
cocoon and get snuggly with
you-know-who that can lead
to who-knows-what.
But also
consider expanding your
sphere beyond the familiar
to give things a certain flair
and flirtation.
Relationships will have
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
filled with great ideas that
are designed to get you off
their excitements, secrets,
confusions and various ups and
downs this winter. Needless
your words will pack an
the couch, out of your boring
to say, life will be extremely
unintended emotional punch
routine and into new exciting
platonic circles. Don't be
interesting and you will have to
this winter. Be very charming
be on your toes to balance the
needs of lovergrrls with those
of other family members. Try
and think carefully before
you say what is on the top of
your mind or at the bottom
to escape the mayhem with a
romantic interlude.
of your heart. Unfiltered
provocative thoughts can
up to the possibilities Guppie
and make some probabilities.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
upend your landscape.
Maybe upheaval is part of your
If someone piques your
curiosity around the office,
plan, Scorpio?
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Your hard work is about to be
recognized this winter, lambda
you will be compelled to
explore further. Curiosity
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Ram. But no sooner do you
impress the powers-that-be
may kill the cat but you can
risk one of your nine lives on
with your professionalism
than you risk it all with a
this particular lady, proud
surprised if you find yourself
deeply immersed in a project
or set in a new life direction
because of it. Open yourself
risky (but impressive) office
dalliance. Try to keep your
sweet tooth in check while
bonus season beckons and
promotions are possible.
2014
Lioness. It will not only enliven
your dull workday, it might
also lead to something more
permanent. Certainly more
permanent than any day to
day job nowadays.
No matter how you say it,
Emotional binge spending
may make you temporarily
feel better but will not be a
long-term balm. So if you are
seeking comfort, try it in the
arms of a bosom buddy rather
than in a shopping mall. In
fact, Sagittarians with an itch
can find a range of lovelies to
help scratch it.•
get you rs today.
curvemag.com
Want to see your pet here? We'd love to meet them, too.
Visit curvemag.com/satisfied for details.
See all items with this value
-
NOUREEN DEWULF ERIN FOLE
,
FRANCESCA GREGORINI
ELLING LESBIAN MAGAZINE
ESEX&
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IN
BED
WITH
+
LESBIAN
WEDDING
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MOST
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ADVISORS
Changing laws
changed their lives
The recent Supreme Court ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act led
Jane and Diane to take a serious look at their investment planning needs.
The rapidly changing legal landscape meant it was crucial that they
worked with someone who was knowledgeable, so they turned to Wells Fargo
Advisors. Our Financial Advisors who have the Accredited Domestic
Partnership AdvisorsM (ADPA®) designation are well-versed on the current
set of challenges, so Jane and Diane walked away with a solid plan and
confidence in the future.
Let's talk about your long-term investment planning needs. Because when
people talk, great things happen. To fmd one of our ADPA-certified Financial
today.
Advisors in your area, visit wellsfargoadvisors.com/adpa
Together we'll go far
WellsFargo
Advisors
isthetradenameusedbytwoseparate
registered
broker-dealers:
Wells
Fargo
Advisors,
LLC,
andWells
Fargo
Advisors
Financial
Network,
LLC,
Members
SIPC,
non-bank
affiliates
5
MandADPA5M
areservice
marks
oftheCollege
forFinancial
Planning®.
ofWellsFargo
&Company.
Accredited
Domestic
Partnership
Advisor
© 2013
WellsFargo
Advisors,
LLC,
Member
SIPC.
Allrightsreserved.
ECG-1139638.2
JAN/FEB
2014
THE TRUTH ABOUT
FRANCESCA GREGORI NI
The lesbian filmmaker
reveals her personal
side through film.
By Rachel Shatto
~3
COME PLAY WITH ME
Hot artistic undies in the
latest styles.
~s
DOUBLE TROUBLE
Up close and personal with
UK pop duo RednPink.
By Stella & Lucy
50
LOVE IS GOING
Photographer S
captures the b~st I
weddings of they
By Kristen Youngs
2
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
COVER PHOTO BY DENNIS HO
JAN/FEB
2014
Marriage
is SO
gay
y'all
12
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
IN EVERYISSUE
6
EDITOR'S NOTE
8
FEEDBACK
9
CURVETTES
10
THE GAYDAR
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
TRENDS
REVIEWS
11 THIS IS WHAT A
LESBIAN LOOKS LIKE
Our monthly profile of the
hottest and most talented
queer girls around.
27 FILM
An exploration of how and
why we have sex in the
documentary Subjectified.
12 GIFT GUIDE
Our monthly selection of
gorgeous gifts for your girl.
29 MUSIC
Meet Chastity Brown, the out
lesbian banjo-playing soul
singer. By Melany Joy Beck
14 BEAUTY
Get ready for date night with
these gorgeous and glamourmaking products.
15
HOT TEE
16
LESBOFILE
17
SHE SAID
31 BOOKS
Dip into some winter
reading with mystery writer
Jean Eckhardt. By Trixy Flower
33 FOOD
Plan a romantic and healthy
Valentine's Day dinner with
these vegan treats.
VIEWS
18
By Elizabeth Nguyen
OUT IN FRONT
18 IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT ... News from across the
country.
34 TECH
How to take your boudoir
selfies to the next level.
Plus, our hands on with the
PlayStation 4.
19 POLITICS
Lesbian Bed Death is real!
Ladies, it's time to reclaim
our desire. By Victoria A.
Brownworth
21 THE TWO OF US
Our monthly profile of captivating lesbian couples who
live, love and work together.
23
LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
25
TRUTH OR DARE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
3
Curve's online selection of must-do, must-try, must-have extras.
REACHINGFORTHE MOON
The most romantic and complex lesbian film of this
year is Reaching for the Moon, starring Miranda Otto
MORE POWERTO YOU
and Gloria Pires. This sensitive and lush film directed
The holidays are over for another year, but
by Bruno Barreto chronicles the passionate and
many of us are still holding on to their
difficult love affair between Pultizer Prize-winning poet
memories in the form of some added pounds.
Elizabeth Bishop and brilliant Brazilian architect Lota
For those of us who gleefully indulged over
de Macedo Soares. Special Offer: 15% off for Curve
the holiday season (after all, what are holidays
readers courtesy of Wolfe Video. Use Promo Code
for?), we have the remedy for you-our
CURVE15 to get 15% off the DVD when you order direct
resident fitness buff Kristen Youngs gives us
from WolfeVideo.com (offer expires April 1, 2014).
the top five power moves for blasting away
Women and the
Word: THE REVIVAL
Documentary Film is
coming to theaters
in 2014, and prior
to the release, we'll
ask director Sekiya
Dorsett to tell us a bit
about her film. THE
REVIVALis a traveling
poetry tour for queer
women of color,
and in 2012 a film
crew followed these
women to document
their experiences.
Dorsett describes the
movie as "a historic
moment for queer
artists, women
filmmakers, and
black cinema."
the added pounds. Do them at home, at the
office or at the gym. Regardless of where you
fit them in, they're sure to get you back in
fighting form (or better).
THE BESTOF 2013
It has been a great year for lesbian media! With that said, it only seems
fitting that we put together a compendium of the year's shiniest albums,
movies, TV shows, books and web series. See if your favorites make it into
our Best of 2013, and get a glimpse of what you've been missing from the
cream of the crop.
4
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
TheFloridaKeys
KeyWest
Close To Perfect - Far From Normal
RONT!MERRYN'S
MEMO
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
TheNaked
Trudt
sexually unfulfilled woman overcomes her inability to orgasm with
the help of a high-class lesbian escort in A PerfectEnding. A lesbian
housewife overcomes her suburban dissatisfaction by becoming
a high-class lesbian escort in Concussion.A sexually ambivalent
adolescent discovers her desire by falling in love with a lesbian art
student in Blue Is the Warmest Color.A Brazilian architect and an American poet
fall in love and inspire each other to create their best work in Reachingfor the Moon.
Yes, 2013 was the sexiest year in lesbian cinema, and whether or not you consider
these films to be "lesbian;' or define their
endings as "happy;' there is no doubt that
these excellent films all bring to the screen
the transformative power of lesbian desire.
This is our Sex & Romance issue
and in it we also celebrate the power of
lesbian sexuality across culture, whether
it's in music, films, books, fashion-or,
of course, adult entertainment (we invite
A
you behind the scenes for a taste of the
latest erotic blockbuster for lesbians).
Most of us can say that, in one way or
another, discovering our sexual identities
opened up our true destinies. And just
as movies dramatize human possibility
through storytelling, so magazines offer us
innovative and aspirational views of our
experiential selves.
2013 was transformative for Curve.
We launched our digital edition, and this month subscribers will be greeted with a
new and improved version, with extended content, more interactivity, and enhanced
navigation-to
meet the increasing demand for a more sophisticated digital
experience. To achieve this goal, our 10 issues per year will now be eight-with
two double issues. It's our way of guaranteeing that 2014 will be as good a year for
lesbian publishing as 2013 was for lesbian cinema. Happy New Year-and Happy
Valentine's Day!
!z
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
merryn@curvemag.com
JAN/FEB
2014
»
LESBIAN
VOLUME
MAGAZINE
24 NUMBER
PUBLISHERSilke Bader
FOUNDINGPUBLISHER Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
EDITORIN CHIEF Merryn Johns
MANAGINGEDITOR Rachel Shatto
COPY EDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Victoria A. Brownworth,
Gina Daggett, Jillian Eugenios, Sheryl Kay, Stephanie
Schroeder
EDITORIAL
ASSISTANTCygnus Fogle, Mia Manns, Kristen Youngs
PROOFREADERElizabeth Harper
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONS Jeannie Sotheran
EVENTS& MEDIA RELATIONSCOORDINATORRobin Perron
ADVERTISING
CURVE'SMEDIA KIT ourmediakit.com
NATIONALSALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
BUSINESSDEVELOPMENT
Sallyanne Monti (510) 545-4986, sallyanne@curvemag.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ART DIRECTOR Graham Jones, Meghan Musalo
PRODUCTIONARTIST Kelly Nuti
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Kathy Beige, Jenny Block, Adam L.
Brinklow, Kelsy Chauvin, Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Traci
Dinwiddie, Maria De La 0, Elizabeth Estochen, Jill
Goldstein, Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall, Kim Hoffman,
Charlene Lichtenstein, Karen Loftus, Sassafras Lowrey, Jess
McAvoy, Emelina Minero, Laurie K. Schenden, Stephanie
Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson, Rosanna Rios-Spicer, Allison
Steinberg, Stella & Lucy, Dave Steinfeld, Edie Stull, Yana
Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce, Tina Vasquez, Jocelyn Voo
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Lauren Barkume, Alex Styles, Meagan Cignoli,
Sophia Hantzes, Janet Mayer, Syd London, Cheryl Mazak,
Maggie Parker, Robin Roemer, Leslie Van Stelten
CONTACT INFO
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Volume 24 Issue 1 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published 8 times
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6
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
1
5 DAYS OF EVENTS FOR WOMEN
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WHO LOVE WOMEN
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subscription! facebook.com/cu rvemag
and, I hope, will facilitate
acceptance for individuals and
couples that are not stereotypical. Thank you Curve for
sharing Taipei with the world.
-Karen, Taipei,Taiwan
Vay for Taipei
Relaxing in my Tienmu flat,
I was thrilled to read "Out in
Taiwan" [Vol. 23#9]. A Brit,
I arrived here six and a half
years ago and fell in love with
my first girl on my first day
here! I now have a wonderful
Taiwanese girlfriend, a bunch
of fabulous friends and I
regularly go to the places you
mention. Magazines such as
Curve offer a more comprehensive picture of lesbian life,
Inside Perspective
I just finished reading the article "Inside Out" [Vol. 23 #8]
and still have tears in my eyes.
I am in prison and am probably a "cry baby" but I am very
thankful that there are people
in the LGBT community and
in the U.S. that remember us
and recognize that our "lives
still have meaning and value"
and who support us through
our struggles. Thank you for
printing the article and thanks
to Piper Kerman for having
the courage to write Orange
Is the New Black.-Brandi
Grainger,North Carolina
Wright-ing a Wrong
I am writing to let you know
about a petition that has started
involving The Grand Ole Opry.
Country singer Chely Wright
used to sing at the Opry every
ten weeks. That is until 2010
when she came out publicly has
a lesbian. We fans have started a
petition asking The Grand Ole
Opry to invite her back. We still
need help getting the word out,
anything thing you can do to
help would be greatly appreciated. (change.org/ grandoleopry)
-David Dilsizian,via email
Rousing Russia
I was incredibly moved by
your powerful interview
with Milena Chernyavskaya
["To Russia With Love;' Vol.
23 # 10]. As the descendant
of emigres from the Soviet
Union I felt deeply for her
situation and for all Russians
who don't fit with the Russian
cultural agenda. Thank you,
Curve,for giving us a view
into this other world and
reminding us to preserve our
freedom with vigilance and
gratitude.-Victoria Nikolaeff,
Sydney,Australia
ii·i!M·································································································ii
OURFACEBOOK
FANS
SOUNDOFFONCOVER
GIRLILEAMATTHEWS
Yummy-Rebecca Kacsala
Love llea!-Tiffany Rebello
Drobny
This is absolutely smashing!
Thank you, I am completely
elated, and overcome
with feelings of straight up
fuzziness. Thank you for
showcasing lesbian digital
media, it's a new dawn, it's
a new day.-Rolla Selbak
Amazing!LOVE!-JenFoster
Super cute cover! Congrats
on the new issue!-Jenoa
Harlow
Love it!- Jes Coolbaugh
Beautiful-SusanJames
Harris
Pretty!-Af Ratsja
Adorable-Happy Jennifer
Abiseid-Owle wedding
"";::•,~ili,''"° "~~:..,,':'',c,
c::~.;!:_r/:
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11%
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12%
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20%
I needLesbian101
Curve magazine,
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Making Matrimonial History
My partner and I have been
together for almost three years
and were recently"wed" in
our town in Arkansas, where
it's not legal yet. We were the
first same-sex couple to have a
wedding announcement in our
local paper! Arkansas equality
groups started to pitch our
story too! It feels great to be a
part of history in the making
for marriage equality! As an
active Curve reader, I thought
I would share this with you!
Thank you for your time.
-Cyrilla Abiseid,Conway,Ark.
UPFRONTtCURVET
Stella & Lucy
FIONA DAWSON
STELLA& LUCY
MIA MANNS
DARDOWLING
Fiona is EVPof new media for
Martian Entertainment in New
York City and is working on
a reality series, TransMilitary,
about U.S. transgender military
personnel serving under the
threat of discharge. Fiona has
covered stories in India on
sex trafficking, prostitution
and HIV/AIDS and hosted
segments for here TV during
the Republican and Democratic
conventions. A graduate of the
University of Essex, U.K. with a
BSc in Psychology, she worked
in Houston in corporate social
responsibility leading diversity
and inclusion programs. She
served on the National Board
of Directors of the HRC, and
currently serves on the Board
of Directors for the National
Lesbian & Gay Journalists
Association.
Stella is an author and
published poet currently
writing a novel based on her
life and Lucy is an international
fashion lecturer at the
renowned London college of
Fashion. An unmistakable duo
in the U.K. cultural landscpe,
the couple has tirelessly
campaigned for LGBT rights,
working on the victory for
equal marriage in their
homeland of England. They are
now in the throes of planning
their own wedding, soon to
be featured in Curve. National
and international lifestyle and
fashion contributors for DIVA,
Curve, and other publications,
this fun loving couple
interviews fellow U.K. pop
pair, RednPink.
"If someone told me to choose
a passion between books
and music, I would refuse to
decide," says Mia who channels
both of her passions in this
month's Hot Licks (page 30)
and in "Between the Covers"
(page 72), reviewing The
Vagina and The Marrying Kind.
A recent English literature
graduate, perhaps budding
novelist, freelance copyeditor
and, of course, music lover,
Mia has more than one
raison d'etre, and refuses to
compromise. "Music has its
own way of telling stories;
songs tend to have narratives,
just as novels do." Currently an
editorial assistant for Curve,
she's working on breaking into
the publishing industry, one
internship at a time.
A spelunker of quizzical caves,
toppler of mediocrity and
eschewer of mores, journalisthedonist Dar was born and
raised on Staten Island. Today
she lives in Greenwich Village,
where she writes and makes art.
You'll find profiles of celebrities
and people of interest in
her writing portfolio, which
includes Jaime Murray, Zoie
Palmer, Troian Bellisario,
Stormy Leather, Cynthia
Nixon and sex expert Tristan
Taormino, along with pieces
on yoga, science fiction, porn
fitness stars, lesbian cougars
and open relationships. Right
now she's getting ready to
publish her first graphic
novel, as well as writing and
producing a feature film, both
of which include sexy, badass
lesbian and bisexual characters.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
9
NDS/
THE GAYDAR
p
~~ THEGAVDAR
Takes one to know one? Let our gaydar help
~ you decide who's hot, who's not, who's
~ shaking it and who's faking 1tin lesboland.
~
BY RACHEL SHATTO
~
Our forever imaginary
girlfriend Angelina Jolie
channels her inner sexy
villainess in Maleficent. Is
it just us, or is Maleficent's
obsession with Aurora
kinda gay? Just sayin'
Bianca, say it ain't so. The
trailblazing soap opera
All My Children is cancelled
for a second time
Tip your pint to
London's Candy
Bar, the landmark
lesbian bar closes
its doors this month
l
OK, fine-this commercial
was awkward with a capital
A, but you can't argue with
LGBT ally Macklemore's
sentiment, as the face of
Looks like there's trouble
the ACLU card
in paradise for reality TV
brides Whitney Mixter
and Sada Bettencourt
who are taking their dyke
drama to VH1's Couples
Therapy couch
ONORARY
IME
LESBIAN
MBERSHIP
Rachel Maddow
guests on The
Simpsons ...on
an unrelated
note, is it weird
to think a cartoon
character is hot?
No reason, just
curious
Hawaii says
aloha to marriage
equality, making it
the 15th state to do
so. Mahalo, Hawaii!
In super (hero) news,
bisexual bombshell Saffron
Burrows joins Agents of
S.H.I.E.LD. as openly queer
Agent Victoria Hand
The long, long
wait is over!
Just like magic
Lost Girl and
its supernatural
bisexual
shenanigans
is back
Linda Perry heads to reality
TV in The Linda Perry Project,
which focuses on relaunching
her record label and mentoring
artists. Beyond that you'll have
to tune in to see ...wait for
it ...what's goin' on (sorry
couldn't resist)
Good news Betty
lovers, looks like the
Bomb Girls movie is
locked and loaded.
See you on opening
weekend!
Suddenly the zombie
apocalype ain't looking
so bad. The Walking
Dead has added the
openly lesbian character
Tara, played by Alana
Masterson. Is it too soon
to start shipping her and
Michonne?
~
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10
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
PICKS
»
PRODUCTS
PEOPLE
»
Jennifer Newell
a.k.a Happy Jenn
The lesbian pinup model on coming out,
glamming up and finding true love.
BY HASSINA OBAIDY
I fell
in love with the queen of pinup, Ms.
Bettie Page, when I met my fiancee in
2001. Since then I had been dressing
pinup-rockabilly style on occasions ...but
it wasn't until I entered my first pinup
contest that I actually became a pinup
model. I've been published in a few
different magazines, won pinup of the
week and month titles, and I run a Pin Up
Sisters United Group where all the girls,
newbies and accomplished, can support
and encourage each other.
ONBECOMINGAPINUPMODEL:
ON BEING DIFFERENT: Aside from being
the only lesbian pinup that I know of, I
would say my realness and positive energy
set me apart from the rest of the girls.
Don't get me wrong, they are all beautiful
but I am the only me, flaws and all.
I started stripping
before I met my girlfriend. I certainly
had a few crushes on my fellow dancers
but they were much older then me. So
I actually met my first girlfriend walking
home from school. She had one of her
coworkers call me over. I assumed he
was trying to hit on me and blew him off
until he told me it was a "she" that was
interested in me. I was waiting to meet
a girl who liked girls all my life. I came
right out of the closet.
ONCOMINGOUT:
ON HER CURRENT RELATIONSHIP: My
sweetie and I will be celebrating our
lucky 13th anniversary in March. I
met her when I was only 18 and I told
' myself then that she was everything I
ever wanted. Over the years she has
/ proven to me that true love is really
about getting what you need. She has
been so patient with me, she keeps
me grounded, we haven't spent more
than two days apart since we met and
even after all these years I still miss her
every second we're apart. We've been
engaged for over 12 years and now
that it's finally legal in our state we are
getting married.
2. Revel, Revel
This ergonomic non-phallic, ball-shaped vibrator looks like a work of art or
high tech-and it's both! It offers more power and vibration plus 90 percent
less noise than conventional battery vibes thanks to its high quality, long
lasting and fast-charging lithium-ion polymer battery. The Revel Body is
comfy to hold, waterproof, and easy to adjust to just the right level of
power. ($179, goodvibes.com)
Sweet and sexy gifts to
show her how much you
love and desire her.
...................................................................................................................................................................................................
Gift Guide
3. Message in a Bottle
Show your sweetheart how much she means to
you with a personalized Message In A Bottle.
Write your own romantic message complete
with red, pink or white rose petals (optional).
($45, messageinabottle.com)
5. G Marks the Spot
4. Chemistry Kit
Spice up your love life with a Couples Chemistry Kit, customized
just for you and your girl based on responses you each give to a
confidential relationship quiz. Uncover your most desired areas for
intimacy exploration, with the top shared desire revealed when the
Love Kit arrives in the mail. Achieve greater physical and emotional
intimacy in new and exciting ways. ($129, coupleschemistry.com)
Hit her G-Spot every
time with the Slender
G Waterproof Vibrator.
This slim, firm, and
powerful multi-speed
vibe is perfect for
the bath, shower or
bedroom. The long
handle gives you room
to move while the
rounded head is angled
to reach that special
place and the twistable
base controls the speed.
($20, goodvibes.com)
~
12
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
6. Love On the Road
7.SoGay!
Just because you travel
doesn't mean you have
to leave your bedroom
essentials behind! This kit
from the Sinclair Institute
includes sachets of the
only USDA-certified, organic, chemical-free lubricant;
Glyde ethical fair trade
condoms; organic bamboo
mini towels that expand in
water; a three-speed waterproof bullet massager;
and a hemp travel bag. All
products are eco-friendly,
sustainable and vegan.
($25, sinclairinstitute.com)
The perfect fashion essen
tial for Southerners in samesex relationships, or anyone
who supports marriage
equality. This premium
cotton T-shirt offers
comfort, durability and less
shrinkage. Choose from
small to 2XL, true-to-fit sizes
for the gal or guy you love.
($20 and up, cafepress.com)
8. The Nose Knows
Love your lavatory!
Poo-Pourri is a natural,
essential oil-based
spray that knows how to
do its business, before
you do. These bathroom
sprays neutralize odors
with scents of grapefruit, meadows, spicy
sandalwood and more.
~ Spritz, flush and let
9. Red Hot Love
0
Love is love, so say it with oui'
favorite four-letter word s~fHed out
in durable resin. 2.5 inches wide
with an 18 inch gold-P, M:~d chain.
($20, cocomia.con;)''
,.1-''
C
,,,:?
4"'
d"'
,p'
10. Blooming Love
Tell her you love her with fresh flowers hand
delivered by Teleflora. Choose from a variety
of bouquets, which come in attractive and
reusable vases and containers. Use this Special
Promo Code: CURVEVDAY14for 20 percent off,
valid 1/10 to 2/14. ($30 and up, teleflora.com)
.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
11. Put a Ring On It
Proposition Love's EnGAYgement
Ring is available in yellow, rose and
white gold. A portion of proceeds
goes to organizations supporting
marriage equality and LGBT rights.
($795, propositionlove.com)
.........................................................................................................................................................................
12. Hers & Hers
•
~
Ll.,J
:c:
•
V"'
0::::
S'Well insulated, eco-friendly
bottles are great for women on
the go-working out, camping or
simply being active. The Hers &
Hers collection keeps drinks cold
for up to 24 hours in non-toxic,
ergonomically designed stainless
steel. ($35, swellbottle.com)
13. Bonding Exercise
We love this hand stamped jewelry and repurposed
leather cuffs with embossed copper plates featuring
meaningful mottoes. Designed and made by lesbian
musicians Martine Locke and Jamie Price, they're the
perfect gift for your muse. ($30 and up, inthislifenow.com)
,.................................................................................................................
LU
::c:
··················································································································································:
15. Spice it Up
Instead of a box of chocolates we suggest a more sinful box
of treats: LELO'sAdore Me Pleasure Set. This bountiful set
of goodies features Silk and Suede Sutra Chainlink Cuffs, an
lntima Silk Blindfold and LELO's Mia 2 vibe. It's everything you
need to say J'adore and more, more, more. ($159, lelo.com)
14. Little Sweetie
Why should adults have all the
fun on Valentine's Day? The Whirl
Balance Scooter from awardwinning Prince Lionheart will
have your little tyke head over
heels in love-and teach them
how to balance before transitioning to a bigger bike. A great gift
for 2-5-year-olds of any gender!
($110-$120, princelionheart.com)
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
13
.
NDS!BEAUTY
Hm•c ~cccssilics
J,cmmc l·)dalc J.'Jush
For a face that says "Hello, lover"
try Benefit's Primed for Lovin'
set which includes their lash
plumping They're Real! mascara,
skin perfecting POREfessional
balm, luminescent highlighter
High Beam and Sugarbomb
Ultra Plush lip gloss.
($42, benefitcosmetics.com)
NARS' cheekily named One Night
Stand Palette has everything you
need-including a highlighter,
bronzer and four shades of
blush-to get that just-beenkissed glow. ($65, sephora.com)
Lip Locked
Forget subtlety-vamp up your
lips with Urban Decay's Revolution
Lipstick in 69. This plumping
and moisturizing formula leaves
lips pillowy soft and primed for
smooching. ($22, urbandecay.com)
lwnf'jit
Va
Va
SUGGESTIVEHUESAND
SHIMMER MAKE FORAN
OH-SO-SEXY DATENIGHT
SHATTO
LOOK. BYRACHEL
<:urYcs \head
1
Bold eyebrows are back! Effortlessly
sculpt the perfect arch with Gelux
Eyebrow. Rich pigment highlights
the brow and waterproof gel holds it
in place. Available in eight luscious
colors. ($22, cailyncosmetics.com)
~aught~· ~ails
P1•ccious J lctals
We're crazy about Stila's edgy new Magnificent
Metals Foil Finish eye shadow in Dusty Rose.
This uber-high pigment shadow can be applied
in layers to create a variety of eye-catching
looks. ($32, stilacosmetics.com)
Hot Slut nail polish from
Cheeky Monkey is not
for the shrinking violet.
The sexy, vibrant red is as
saucy as its name-which is
exactly why we love it. ($15,
cheekymonkeycosmetics.com)
P1•cH~·Pout
Manna Kadar's lip gloss is perfect for winter
dates: long-lasting primer and deep color gives
extreme shine and nourishes lips with Vitamin
E and berry extracts. Cruelty and paraben free,
we love Killer Heels, Revamp, and the new High
Speed. ($19, mannakadarcosmetics.com)
1111
"'hat Lola "'ants
•
14
CURVE
For a softly seductive smoky
eye, NYX's Sway with Lola
Palette transitions from day
to date night in a snap.
($6, nyxcosmetics.com)
•
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
Hcdroom E~·cs
Give your eye a bombshell flick with Urban Decay's
24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in the sinful shade,
Perversion. This creamy liner goes on smoothly and
doesn't budge. ($19, urbandecay.com)
2014
TRENDS/
HOT Pl
GILT-YPLEASURE
It's Contplicated
A fresh comic collection that leaves
no sexual identity unturned.
BY CYGNUS FOGLE
II
Join the Cliteracy movement with this saucy tank. Artist
Sophia Wallace created the project to raise awareness
about the oft-misunderstood clitoris-now there's a
=we
can get behind! ($35, sophiawallace.com)
Queer representation
in comics has grown
by leaps and bounds
in recent years, but
with such diversity
in our community it's
still possible to feel
marginalized-that
is,
until now. Anything
That Loves, a new
comic collection from
Northwest Press,
explores the oh-socomplicated fluidity
of attraction and gender in all its glorious and
infinite variety. This amalgamation of styles and
voices is sure to make any of us feel right at
home-regardless
of who we go home with (or
don't) at the end of the night.
At first glance, Anything That Loves is a
generous helping of bisexual solidarity, offering
tales from bi-identified men and women alike.
I
II
I
I
I
~
Artists Kate Leth and Agnes Czaja start the
book off strong with multi-paged explorations
into the ambiguous and ever-evolving nature
of the bisexual label. However, with each new
turn of the page, it becomes readily apparent
that Anything That Loves is a near-limitless
exploration of gay, lesbian, bisexuality and
everything in-between.
Trans, you say? Jason A. Quest's panels
might be right up your alley. Do you find
yourself attracted to no one sex or gender
in particular-or
any at all? Brush up on your
latex-self love and pony play with Powflip's eyepopping, candy-tone-filled story This Time It's
Persona/. Even the lesbian adventuress Bold
Riley makes an appearance in Bedfellows where
she tells a story of one unforgettable night with
an androgynous lover.
Sexy, provocative and thought-provoking,
this beautifully illustrated tome is a must-read
for comic loving queers. So packed with unique
and affirming tales of sexual identity and
expression, you won't be left wanting for much
of anything-except
for, perhaps, a second
helping. (northwestpress.com)
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
15
NDS!GOSSIP
p
Sia
~ LESBOFILE
~
~
Patricia's love life 1m1tatesher art, Sia keeps questionable company
and Michelle gets hitched. BY JOCELYN voo
L
Reader, I Married Her
plot is the real-life outcome for
jealous husband, whose wild
Eminem's alter ego Slim Shady
Literary lovers rejoice! Michelle
one married FBI agent, who
revenge plot of murdering
using derogatory wordplay. To
drive her point home, she an-
Tea, writer and artistic director
started an affair with crime
Margo involves explosives and a
of RADARProductions, wed girl-
writer Patricia Cornwell.
reverend. We can't tell whether
nounced that she's planning on
to laugh or get on the book
donating all proceeds from her
pre-order list.
contribution to an LGBTcharity.
Trash Talkin'
friend Dashiell Lippman, an ad
An upcoming book from
sales director at Yelp, this past
Caitlin Rother and John Hess
November (cue a million chants
tells all, reports the Daily Mail:
of "Reader, I married him").
According to their wedding
website on The Knot, "We are
Margo and Gene Bennett were
Shady Associations
an all-star husband-and-wife FBI
It's long been known that
If you listen closely, that's the
pair in Washington D.C.,but after
Eminem is not shy about using
sound of a million lesbian hearts
getting married forever this
seven years of marriage and
hate-words in his lyrics. "Faggot"
breaking. Girltrash! creator
November" (awwww) "and you
two children, the relationship
and "gay" are peppered
Angela Robinson was actively
are invited to our wedding. We
had grown rocky. It was at this
throughout his songs, although
working with POWERUP to
hope you can come because
point that Cornwell, research-
he's insisted that he's not using
produce a sequel to the hit web
it is going to RULE."Then they
ing her upcoming novel, was
them to slam homosexuals, but
series, when suddenly at the last
rather as generic insults.
list a bunch of things that are
introduced to Margo-and
indeed very awesome: old
able to seduce her away from
Sia, an openly queer singer,
European wood, records and
her husband. Their first kiss is
seems to have bought into his
banana pudding instead of
pure romance novel fodder:
claims, signing on to contribute
been, without a doubt, the
wedding cake. Ladies, our
"Up to that point in my life, that
to The Marshall Mathers LP 2.
worst experience of my career,"
heartiest congratulations.
was
minute, things went awry-in
full dyke drama fashion: "Stacy
Codikow and POWERUP has
was the most tender kiss I had
Recording artist and Huffington
Robinson wrote in a statement.
ever had, and yet at the same
Post contributor Keo Nozari
"Because Stacy has been so
An Affair to Remember
time, it was the most ferocious
actually debated the point with
horrible I will never again be
A lesbian affair! Police gone
in the intensity of it and what it
Sia herself via Twitter, where she
involved in any project in which
bad! Attempted murder! It has
was doing to the inside of me. I
tweeted, "I am queer, and love
Stacy Codikow or POWERUP is
all the hallmarks of a fictitious
was mush," says Margo.
my queers, young and old." She
involved:' Whoa, we're staying
explained that she viewed it as
out of this one!•
thriller, yet this decades-long
16
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
Fast forward to the raging
2014
z
I
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WJ
~
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WJ
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"She was that
friend, the one that you
idolize and maybe even have
a weird obsession-slash-crush on.
We were standing on her bed, wearin
WJ
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her clothes-because
her clothes .wer,e
cooler-and she put on 'Killer Quee :
world froze. It was a very cinematic le
and it opened up this lyrical world}
My
-Katy Perry to W about the'.real •
inspiration behind'
'
"I Kissed a Girl"
.-I
st PROFILE
rINCASE
Dulce Garcia
SanFrancisco
BayArea» SexualHealthActivist
She's been called a fierce femme, and for Dulce Garcia
it's a badge of honor she's proud to wear. "It came
from living my life with conviction and resilience," says
Garcia. "Because I'm a queer woman of color, I face
many oppressions, marginalization, yet I also hold a
lot of privileges, and it's my responsibility to use them
toward true liberation and social justice."
Over the years, Garcia has focused her attention
and energy on serving LGBT youth, originally at De
Mr~io
I ~~l~~!~~f~~~,i;~~~~~~~~ING
Development, on Inside the Actors Studio she said
that she struggled with the issue of her sexual identity
during the coming out process, "I just didn't want to
be a lesbian...l'd never met one, for a start, and I just
thought they were strange and that they hated men."
Ambiente (In the Scene), the only program of its kind
in California to serve Latino LGBT youth. While there,
GRETA
MELENDEZ
AND
she was involved with HIV prevention and other sex
Lily Cohen, a teenage lesbian
couple at California's Calabasas
High School, have been
selected as Homecoming
Queens Melendez serves as
president of her high school's
GSA and believes that this
signals a huge shift In the
culture of LGBT acceptance and
bullying at her school
education programming. "As a queer woman of color
and a sexual health educator, working with queer youth
has not only allowed me to witness their resilience but
to learn from them," she notes. "Kids are really smart
individuals, and if adults would just take a second to
listen to them, they will tell you what their needs are, in
order to feel safe in the communities where they live,
learn, and work."
Today, Garcia continues to promote public health
and well-being through her work at the California
Health Collaborative. As its new health educator for the
Bay Area, she will implement bilingual breast and cervical cancer screenings for the Every Woman Counts
program. Her goal is to specifically target uninsured or
underinsured low-income women, so they'll have access to free mammograms and Pap smears. She's also
recently joined San Francisco Women Against Rape
(SFWAR) as the education consultant, working with the
Community Initiatives staff to provide rape prevention,
education programs, and outreach to Spanish-speaking
communities, and to support these communities in
identifying and initiating models of mobilization to
confront and end sexual violence through an antioppression framework.
Still, at the end of the day, the kids are not very far
from Garcia's thoughts. "Do I want the right to marry?"
she asks. "Yes. But is it my main concern, or the strug-
gle I focus on? Not at all. I'm more concerned about
queer youth of color having access to health care,
housing, and safe learning environments." -Sheryl Kay
18
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
FOUR
LESBIAN
COUPLES
In Boise, Idaho, have Joined
with the NCLR to file a case In
US District Court arguing that
Idaho's Const1tut1on, which bans
same-sex marriage for couples
who have been legally married
In other states, Is In v1olat1onof
the US Const1tut1on Two of the
couples involved In the case
have been legally married In
other states, and two have not
Attorney for the case, Deborah
Ferguson, says, "Idaho Is part
of the great Western trad1t1on
that strongly values freedom
and fairness Most people In
this state, like most Americans,
believe that the law should
EBAY
HAS
ISSUED
AN
apology to a lesbian-owned
company after the onl1ne
retailer banned the sale of a
Christmas T-shirt featuring a
reindeer wearing a rainbow
scarf eBay claims to have
removed It because the seller
listed It as "gay interest" eBay
has 1nd1catedthat It has no
issue with the content of the
T-shirt, but that l1st1ngitems as
"gay interest" was In v1olat1onof
the site's adult pol1c1es,which
are aimed at cracking down on
"adult" or "fetish" items.
SHERIFFS
DEPUTY
PAUL
Martin of Pinellas County, Fla,
has been fired for the sexual
harassment of a 17-year-old
alleged sexual battery vIctIm
Reports 1nd1catethat Martin
asked the vIctIm irrelevant
sexual questions According
to Sheriff Bob Gualtieri, "She
mentioned that she was with a
friend going to Busch Gardens,
and he turned that into 'Are you
into girls and into lesbian sex?'"
Martin reportedly reached under
■
POLITICS»
Chasing Lesbian Desire
Why we need to maintain our sex lives.
BY VICTORIA A. BROWNWORTH
e've all heard the phrase "lesbian bed death:' But have you heard
about how to avoid it-how to keep the bedroom hot and sexy,
no matter how long you and your partner have been together? Sex
books abound, but even lesbian sex books skirt the issue of LBD.
Mentioning LBD is like referencing some easily contractible virus that could spread to
you and everyone you know via a whisper.
Yet as rampant as it apparently is, many
lesbians feel unable to acknowledge or discuss it. That doesn't make it any less real,
however. Regardless of how much we adore
and applaud every sex scene the film BlueIs
the Warmest Color,most of us would find
more candid realism in the experiences of
Nie and Jules in The Kids Are All Right, or
Abby and Kate in Concussion,where the
lesbian couples are barely intimate.
When I first saw The Kids Are All Right,
in a theater with a large lesbian audience,
the scene where Nie and Jules are watching gay male porn brought knowing guffaws from the women around me. Whyr
I think it's because lesbians understand
what Jules and Nie are seeking: mindless
sexual excitement with a partner who is a
virtual stranger.
Sex becomes an afterthought in many
lesbian relationships when the initial passions wane and shared intimacy starts to
move away from being physical. Yet, as sex
therapists continually note, sexual intimacy
is a vital part of every romantic relationship,
and it deepens emotional intimacy. Sex with
a partner you love can be a mind-blowing
experience. But when that sexual aspect of
a relationship is no longer present, partners
are more like roommates.
It's not just lesbians who don't have sex,
of course. It's all women. And in lesbian
bed death it's a problem times two. And
that problem is: Women don't fuck. If
that seems too bald a statement, it's bolstered by reality-and statistics. Whether
in mainstream magazines like this one or
on medical websites devoted to sexuality
issues, the stories are myriad, yet the same:
Women don't have sex. And many women
assert that they don't want to have sex.
But whyr We all seem to have periods
of intense sexual arousal, yet that seems to
fade within months of the onset of a new
relationship. How do we go from being
acutely passionate and unable to keep our
hands off each other to barely engaging in
a good-night kiss?
Advertising has latched on to this reality.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
19
st POLITICS
A few years ago, KY, the leading manufacturer of sexual lubricants, began airing
commercials about what viewers recognized immediately as a real issue between
real (heterosexual) women and their husbands. She has trouble achieving "the big
moment;' while he has trouble getting her
there. Different scenarios illustrated the
problems facing modern straight couples:
jobs, kids, exhaustion, having been together
for a long time. But a little dab of KY Hers/
His and voila! Exciting sex-of even just
a few minutes' duration-makes
everyone
happy.
The women-not-having-sex problem isn't
solved by a trip to the drugstore for more
lubrication, however. What the ads don't
say, is that she needs more than a few quick
thrusts of his penis. And what about lesbians:' Will a good lubing get us where we
want to go:1Yes and no.
Lack of orgasm is the primary reason
why women stop having sex. Study after
study reveals the shocking reality that
more than 30 percent of women have never had an orgasm, either from sex with another person or from masturbation. This
fact alone keeps some women from being
sexual.
There are other problems as well. Even
among millennials, who are supposed to
be more free and open around issues of
sexuality, women use sex as a weapon. In
Concussion,Abby feels abandoned by her
wife, Kate, who is preoccupied with her
job. Meanwhile, Kate feels that all Abby
does is complain. Their sex life is nonexistent and in part we begin to understand
why; it's because where intimacy once was
now lies resentment-like
a third person
in the bed between them.
In The Kids Are All Right, Jules feels
adrift and unappreciated. She's still finding her way, career-wise, while her wife,
Nie, is a doctor. Jules' self-esteem is in the
toilet. She's virtually a stay-at-home mom,
and one whose kids are nearly grown.
Both Abby and Jules seek pleasureand the appreciation and empowerment
that go with it-elsewhere. Soon they are
leading double lives.
But what if you don't want to break up
your relationship:' What if you don't have
the time and energy for a double life:'
20
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
Teach yourself how to be intimate again.
Or teach yourself how to do it for the first
time. One of the perils of living together is
that the excitement of the new has dissipated. Add in the resentments that develop in any relationship, plus women having
been taught that withholding sex is a potent
thing, and soon you've got a full-blown case
oflesbian bed death.
It can be reversed, however. The remedy
may be part lubes, but is more likely talk,
time and attention to detail.
For women, sex can go on until we die.
We don't need the little blue pill, although
we do need more lubrication as menopause sets in and our vaginas are less able
""
WtHAVt
TOASK
~OR
WHAT
WtWANT.
WH
tTHtRWtARt
HAVING
AONtNIGHT
STAND
ORON
THt~AST
TRACK
TO
MARRIAGt
''
to produce the estrogen-fueled natural
lubrication we had in our 20s, 30s and
even 40s. But we can hold on to our sexual selves into our 70s and beyond, if we
choose to. That means, however, that if we
are always physically able to have sex, then
lesbian bed death is all in our minds.
Most women were taught not to talk
about sex. Millennials were taught to talk
about it, but not in ways that get women
where they need to go in bed. More women
in their 20s have trouble achieving orgasm
than women in their 50s.
We have to ask for what we want.
Whether we are having a one-night stand
(and we are allowed to do that) or we are
on the fast track to marriage, the purpose of
sex is pleasure. Getting and giving pleasure
should be the goal of every sexual encounter. But you have to commit to that.
Most women have body issues. Too fat,
too thin, too whatever we've been told.
Society tells us to look a certain way, and
even if our attitude is Fuck that sexist crap,
we've still internalized it. Add to these factors the sad reality that one in four of us
has been the victim of some form of sexual
assault and sex becomes a minefield.
But giving up your sexuality is the last
thing you should do. Sex makes us calmer,
more grounded, happier. Endorphins pour
into our bodies as we achieve sexual arousal.
That's like five drinks, or three Xanax,
except much better for you.
If you're one of those women who
doesn't come, learn how. Despite all the
mythologies over the years, every single
article or study on how to have an orgasm
will point you to the same place: your
clitoris. You can have a drawer full of the
hottest dildos on the planet, but the place
where your orgasm starts-even
if it's not
the only place it finishes-is right there.
Ask for what you want. If your partner
doesn't want to give you what you want,
then you have to ask her why. Talk about
sex and talk during sex. Women are taught
to lie there and commend their lovers on
a wonderful performance as they fake an
orgasm, but that just builds the resentment that leads to lesbian bed death and
straying from your relationship.
If it takes your partner three minutes
to come and it takes you 20, then it takes
you 20. You deserve all the time you need.
And if you and your partner can't get to
the place where she can make you come,
then incorporate masturbation into your
lovemaking.
Don't be afraid of your own body.
Touch yoursel£ touch her, be free about
your size (whatever it is), your scent, your
taste and your desire. Don't apologize for
your body or what you want. And if you
don't have a partner, you can still have sex.
Masturbation is good for you.
We may never get rid of the lesbian
U-Haul jokes, but we can rid ourselves of
lesbian bed death. It's not wrong to want
sex-it's wrong not to. Desire is essential
to our well-being as women, as lesbians.
Chase down your desire and capture it. •
VIEWS/
artee
TWO OF
& Caroline
Martee Larocque, 31, and Caroline Seguin, 32, are the owners of Canada's eco-friendly online sex shop
Sensual Intelligence. Best friends turned business partners, they face the same challenges and joys as
other couples-except that their longtime liaison is platonic, even though their stock-in-trade is sexual
pleasure. BY GEORGIA KROKUS
HOW
THEY
MET
with Toni Collette and Rachel Griffiths. Last
MARTEE: I met Caroline in high school-
month we watched it again, and it's weird
regularly measure the heights of the kids
worst time of my life ever! I've always been
how we can still relate to the characters
on the side of the kitchen wall, where
socially awkward and, due to my Catholic
after all these years-even more so now.
Mommy's, Daddy's and Martee's heights
upbringing, had a difficult time dealing
I'm totally Muriel and Martee is Rhonda.
are also recorded. Since we have a home
She's part of the family. For example, we
office, she's often over. The other day, my
with the fact that I am queer. Caroline
was like a breath of fresh air: super-
HOW
THEY
GOT
TOGETHER
4-year-old told us that Martee and I are
bubbly, artistic, a bit dorky, but witty and
MARTEE: When I first moved in with
married. It's pretty cool that at 4 he has
sarcastic. We were a very unlikely pair. Our
Caroline, I had recently broken up with my
not been influenced to think that marriage
differences brought us together.
partner. It was a very painful time. I was
is between a man and a woman but
CAROLINE: Martee's goth look made her
a total wreck! I wouldn't eat for days and
associates it with two adults who spend a
seem like the type of teenager who hated
I would drink copious amounts of booze.
lot of time together, and respect and love
everyone. I never thought we would
Luckily, she helped me get back on my
each other. Martee and I now joke that we
are "work wives."
become friends, especially since she
feet and gave me a place to stay. Caroline
smoked cigarettes and I was kind of a
would make the best roasted red pepper
goody-goody. I later found out she had a
soup when she'd notice I wasn't eating.
really quirky sense of humor, just like me,
CAROLINE: Martee and I were roommates
MARTEE: We'd always had this idea that
and we liked the same movies. To this day
for a few years before I had kids. Since
we would go into business together,
our favorite movie is Muriel's Wedding,
they were born, she's always been around.
but it was more or less a joke while we
ONWORKING
TOGETHER
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
21
st TWO OF US
were in our youth. Adulthood
consulting with my biochemist
with kids, and the fact that
did. However, we figured out
came around and it was a
friend. And then we come up
I am queer, we manage to
a nice schedule that works for
different story. Caroline has
with the business name, we
cover different demographics
both of us. Organization is
a marketing background,
buy a domain, find wholesalers,
and can bring a different
definitely the key.
and I am a registered holistic
and spend countless hours side
experience to the table.
nutritionist. These interests
by side. The rest is history! We
combined make the perfect
have received such a positive
THECHALLENGES
SOFAR
personal lives to share with
marriage for our business. We
response. Consumers today are
CAROLINE: One of our
each other is good, because
CAROLINE: The fact that
we can have very different
both have green households
so much more conscious about
challenges has been balancing
we don't feel like we have to
and are extremely conscious
what affects their health and
work, school, kids, and
compete against each other.
of what goes in and on our
the environment.
the business. Seems like
Being married, I am not jealous
bodies. It was natural that
CAROLINE: We are both
something is always pulling us
of Martee, who is single. I kind
our niche was going to be
creative and passionate. We
in one direction or another.
of live vicariously through her
eco-friendly and body-safe
love what we do-selling
MARTEE: For a while, it was
escapades, but at the same
products. One night in January
friendly and body-safe sex toys
difficult for me to understand
time would never want to be
2013, we were at the kitchen
and lube, whee!
the mommy lifestyle. We
single again. I think she feels
table reminiscing about old
MARTEE: What is great is
couldn't often find the time to
the same way, hearing my
times. Next thing you know,
that, with her being in a
work side by side, and I had
stories about the kids and my
we're researching products and
heterosexual relationship
way more free time than she
relationship ups and downs.
eco-
I'm sure sometimes she could
take a break from hearing all
of them!
HOW
THEY
RESOLVE
DIFFERENCES
MARTEE: I'm pretty passionate
and Caroline is more
levelheaded. Therefore, it is
inevitable that we occasionally
butt heads. That being said,
sometimes email or texting
doesn't cut it and can cause
us to misinterpret the other
one's tone. That's why our staff
meetings are so crucial-not
to mention low-key and fun.
At the end of the day, we are
always grateful for having each
other! We use humor and make
it a point to not go to bed angry.
CAROLINE: Most of our
conversations are through
text messaging, so it's hard
to figure out the tone behind
the text sometimes. We are
both sarcastic at times, so
face-to-face meetings are ideal
for proper communication.
We patch things up rapidly so
they don't boil over. Despite
the fall outs, we always seem
to remember to be grateful,
and that we wouldn't be where
we are without each other.
(sensual-intelligence.ca)•
22
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
VIEWS/
LIPSTICK+DI
PS
Relationship
Maintenance
Is it time for a tune-up or the junkyard?
you know it all. Instead of
Is it worth saving? If so, you
putting your energy into
need to have a professional
wondering what Abby needs
look under the hood of your
to do, ask yourself what you
relationship. Like a car, a
BY LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I'm on my
second long-term relationship, with a
woman named Abby, and it is going sour
fast. I believe the reason is that I'm too
mature for her and she's very one-sided
and selfish. I also believe that the issue of
who should lead and who should follow
has become a problem. I want an equal
relationship, but Abby feels as though I'm
taking over and she is losing herself. Any
advice will be appreciated.-Miserab/e
in Montreal
Dipstick: In my experience,
you'll be on the side of the
people who see others as the
road with flares. Even though
problem are rarely right. I sus-
it sounds like you're ready to
pect Abby's immaturity is not
abandon the vehicle, I ask
the problem-it's
you to ponder this question:
you thinking
can do to be a better partner.
relationship can be neglected
How can you better meet her
to the point where it's hardly
needs? Why does she think
functioning anymore. If you are
you're controlling? What more
done, be done. End it quickly,
can you do to ensure that
don't point fingers, and then
you're on an equal footing?
move on.
Once you put the focus on
yourself in this way, you'll stop
Dear Lipstick and Dipstick:
noticing her flaws, and as you
Ex sex. What are your thoughts
start to work on yours, the
about dating someone who is
relationship problems will start
having sex with their ex while
to remedy themselves.
dating you?-S/oppy Seconds
Lipstick: Regardless of who's
Dipstick: My thoughts? Oh,
at fault, this relationship
you're asking the wrong
sounds like a car breaking
lesbian, SS! I remember when I
down. I hear the engine grind-
was dating Donna the dentist.
ing, a backfire or two, and soon
She told me she had an ex,
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
23
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
''
Sally the veterinarian. She and
Sally would meet up for lunch
or a movie from time to time
and I had no problem with it.
Then the late-night hang-ups
started happening. Randomly,
we would run into Sally at the
ice cream parlor or the theater
when we were out together
on a date. I thought it was odd
when I came home one day to
find all the air had been let out
of my tires, with no sign of a
puncture. But it all finally came
together one afternoon when
Sally showed up at my work
and sat in the waiting room
for hours, staring between the
cracks of my cubicle, until I
llKtACAR,
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RtlATIONSH
IP
CAN
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TO
TH
t POI
NTWH
tRt
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ING
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had to ask my boss if I could
leave through the back door. It
turns out, Donna never really
ended things with Sally, and,
because a) they had amazing
in her eyes, she wasn't the
sex and every time they see
"ex." I was the other woman!
each other it's a slippery slope
Be careful what you're getting
to the sack, b) they're lonely, or
yourself into, SS. Take it from
c) they're not over each other.
one who knows.
LESBIAN
MAGAZINE
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Oftentimes, it's all three. In my
opinion, if you're just casually
Lipstick: Oh, Dip, I doubt this
dating, it's no big whoop who
ex is going to go all Glenn
she fucks. Her sex-capades are
Close on SS. No need to get
her sex-capades. It's when the
her all in a lather over your
relationship goes to another
past drama.
level that it becomes your busi-
Dipstick: Lipstick, you never
of whether this woman is carry-
ness. In that case, the question
know. Some women lose
ing a torch for her ex is yours
their shit when it comes to
to decide-just
ex-girlfriends. I'm just glad
your instincts before you ratchet
Special interactive
videos
and
audio
be sure to trust
Sally wasn't my veterinarian
it up a notch. Before then,
when Thumper, my pet bunny,
while you're casually seeing
had that ear infection! SS, just
each other, just chill, and date
be wary. Whether it's Fatal
other people. Lesbians need
Attraction or some other
to learn how to "date" one
B-movie, there could be some
another, instead of sliding into
serious drama here, so take
possession after a romantic
this as a warning.
dinner and a goodnight kiss.
Lipstick: SS, never fear. Lezbos
your heart guide you, SS. Also,
can be cray-cray, but I'd worry
just a side note: I'd leave your
less about the ex's actions and
exes off the Other People to
Explore your options and let
more about getting burned
Date list. Nine times out of 10
by the lover. If someone is
it's a bad idea. After all, there's a
sleeping with their ex, it's
reason you've said sayonara. •
,
•iTunes
Google play amazon
~
Available through iTunes, Google and Amazon
24
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
VIEWS/
TRUTHOR DA
Sexual Stignias
Don't let fear hold you back in bed.
BY JINCEY LUMPKIN & CARLIN ROSS
JINCEY:
I am not a fan of penis.
I think my distaste for dick
developed over the course of
the decade in which I slept
with men and continually
"licked the stick" to avoid
sex. Deeply hidden in the
closet, not only was I trying
to convince myself that I was
straight, but I also believed
that I had to be a rock star in
bed. I gave a ton of blowjobs.
My goal was to make every
man fall in love with me.
Even though I was attracted
to girls from the age of 10 or
so, I didn't kiss a woman until
I was 22. I remember being
terrified at the thought of
going down on a girl. Despite
having a vagina myself, I
just didn't know what I'd find
between the legs of someone
else. Giving blowjobs is fairly
user-friendly: open mouth,
insert dick.
Before I ever touched my
mouth to the moist "downstairs
lips" of another woman, I had
my first dream about oral sex.
I dreamed that I was giving my
boyfriend a blowjob, and when
I looked up at his face, he had
turned into Grace Jones. Then,
Grace shoved my head into her
pussy, and my mouth was on
a mound of hair over her clit.
She smelled like spearmint.
Concerned that women
might not taste good, I made
it my mission to have a clean
poussoir at all times. When I
started going to sex clubs in
my early twenties, I became
rabid consumer of douche.
I also purchased special pH
balanced soap for my hoo-ha.
I was still sleeping with my
boyfriend at the time, and
he finally asked me to stop
overdoing it with the washing,
because he said my lady bits
were starting to smell "like
a hospital."
Once I accepted that I
was gay, my irrational fear
of vaginal odor and taste
evaporated. I learned that
every woman has her own
smell and flavor. I much
preferred the sweet cream
between my girlfriends' thighs
to the sour taste of sperm.
When I took Betty and
Carlin's Bodysex Workshop,
Betty gave a great tip. She said
that a good test is for you to
put your finger on your va-jay,
swipe wipe it around, and then
lick your finger. If you feel you
do not taste too fresh, go
sit under the faucet for a
minute and wash off.
I think my intense
vaginal paranoia
also sprouted roots
from watching too
many Summer's Eve
commercials. Relax,
ladies, relax; your
vagina is probably fine.
However, if you ever
find that you are turned
off by your lover's scent
just say, "Let's go take a
shower together." Emphasis
on together.
It was our intention to talk
about STDs in this column,
but we determined that such
a topic really requires a
dedicated focus, so we're
going to save that for later.
Let's direct our attention
back to pussy panic for a
moment.
The first time I shaved
my pubic hair off
completely was during
college. I had just
seen the infamous Sex
and the City episode
in which Carrie
visits L.A. and gets a
Brazilian wax. All of a
sudden I thought, "Oh
shit! Is having a bunch of
hair down there weird?"
I stayed completely
bare for years until I realized
that I hate ingrown hairs,
itchy skin, and actually like
the feeling of a little padding
under my panties.
I'm happy to report that I
now love my pussy, y'all.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
25
WS/
TRUTHOR DARE
CARLIN:
I consider myself to be a sex
adventurer. Maybe my curiosity
and desire to defy sexual
boundaries comes from being
a preacher's daughter. Each
time I pushed myself out of
my sexual comfort zone was
transformative; I'm not saying
that I wasn't nervous as hell,
but confronting my fear
was liberating.
When I was practicing law, I
was the only woman in senior
management. One day while
walking past a sex shop, I
decided to venture in. There
on the shelf was a big, pink,
realistically shaped dildo. I
bought it, headed back to my
office and placed it right on my
desk. Now, I had a penis just
like the rest of them!
My pink dildo was legendary in the tech community
but I had never used it
for its intended purpose.
I was all about clitoral
stimulation. The thought
of being penetrated
by a realistic dildo
was a turn off.
Working late one
night, I realized I
wanted to try using my dildo, so
I took it home.
I lubed it up
and slowly
penetrated myself
squeezing
and releasing my PC
muscle,
each
time
inserting my
dildo
a bit
deeper
until it was
all the way in. I combined vaginal penetration with clitoral
stimulation and had
one of the biggest
orgasms of my life.
As I basked in my
orgasmic glow,
I decided that
I was always
going to use a
dildo during my
masturbation
practice.
About two
years ago, Betty
and I decided
to film one of
our Bodysex
Workshops. We
put out a casting
call and several
of our bloggers
signed on. One
blogger, Liandra
Dahl, flew in from
Amsterdam, but her hotel fell
through at the last minute. I
got a frantic call on set and
sent her to my apartment.
Since there were already two
women staying with me, there
was only one place for Liandra
to sleep: my bed.
She arrived, and I sent her
straight into the shower to
wash off the stress while I
poured us some champagne.
We were sitting on my
terrace when Liandra asked,
"Why don't we film a scene
together?" She is what I call
a "sex documentarian." She
simply places her camera on
a tripod and films sex real
time. We decided to film
her schooling me ...the sex
educator being taught by the
porn star. The lesson? Fisting.
It was alluring to shoot a
scene on camera, and I also
felt a sense of exhilaration,
because in the adult world,
fisting could trigger an
obscenity charge. You can film
double penetration with two
dicks all day long, but film two
women fisting and you may
face prosecution by the Justice
Department.
We filmed late in the
summer afternoon. The light
was golden yellow. We kissed.
We petted and then we got
down to business. What I love
about fisting is that it takes
a ton of foreplay and a ton
of lubrication. You have to
work up to full penetration.
Once her hand was all the
way in, she started tonguing
my clit and holy orgasm. We
had two orgasms each and
retired to my terrace for a
smoke. Looking at Liandra, I
realized that there was nothing
"obscene" about what we just
did. We'd touched each other's
souls, and it was beautiful.
Our fisting clips went viral.
There was something so real
about our exchange. I became
a fisting aficionado, and a
bit of a following developed.
I met a young woman from
Copenhagen, and she asked
if we could fist. Once we
got into bed, I realized that
it wasn't going to happen. I
decided to use my vaginal
barbell to penetrate her while
she stimulated her own clitoris.
It took some time to get her
started, but once I began
sliding the barbell in and out of
her vagina, angled up towards
the ceiling, she couldn't hold
back. All of a sudden she
ejaculated. She was kind of
embarrassed and admitted, "I
haven't done that for a while."
I smiled and realized that I'd
just witnessed a sex unicorn:
organic female ejaculation.
When I'm an old woman, I
don't want to have any regrets.
I don't want to look back
and wish that I'd initiated sex
more, experimented with my
sexuality or fucked on my own
terms. Finally, at 40, my body
is my own, and I feel entitled
to pleasure. Moving past
stigma and shame was key to
my sexual liberation. If I could
go back in time and have a
conversation with my 20-yearold self I'd say, "Go, girl, go."•
Next column is all about
labels. Why do we hate
on bisexuals? Is there an
upside to being a Gold
Star? What's up with
all these lesbians who
sleep with men
in secret?
UNTIL THEN,
CONNECT WITH
US ONLINE!
Jincey at Jincey.com and
her hot lesbian porn at
JuicyPinkBox.com
Carlin's amazing
sex education at
Dodson And Ross.com
We want to hear your
stories about #PussyPanic!
What fears do you have?
What turns you on?
@JuicyJincey
@DodsonAndRoss
@TheRealCurve
Photos by Victoria Janashvili
Makeup by Karina Montoya
Hair by Stacia Nicole
curve
et's Tt
b
n a culture saturated by images of
female sexuality, Melissa Tapper
Goldman found herself struggling
with a curious question: "Why do
girls have sext While teen moms and
busty bachelorettes may have taken over
the tube, reality TV is more interested
in selling entertainment than giving us
insight into real people, angling stories in
a way that pushes us to judge women for
their choices. And in a patriarchal world
that shames women into silence, how
much do we really know about women and
sex, and what are the assumptions we've
absorbed from mass media:' In search for
some truth, Goldman rolled her camera
as nine women opened up on masturba~
tion, orgasms, trauma, social influences,
what sex is and the reasons why they get
down to it. The result is the documentary
Subjectified,a collection of diverse and un~
scripted stories about real female sexuality.
Despite the ubiquitousness of sex in the
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media, Goldman says that there are few
representations of authentic female sexu~
ality. Often, women on TV are decorative
sex objects, an assemblage of female~shaped
body parts designed to please the male
eye; then there are the tropes, cardboard
depictions of teen moms, abstinent Chris~
tians and lesbians. These representations
are "disconnected from what's real to peo~
ple, especially women;' says Goldman.
She also states "we need to see women
expressing their own motivations and
desires, not just existing as decoration for
someone else:'
What do queer women have to say about
our own sex lives:' The lesbian and bisex~
ual women in Subjectifiedhave identifiable
stories that contain sparks of surprise.
Their experiences are wide~ranging: from
finding God during childbirth, to reli~
gious excommunication, to fearing sex,
to orgasmic first kisses. Their narratives
prompt smiles and empathy; they trigger
selrreflection. And while the perspectives
are individual, the stories offer up many
moments in which queer viewers can see
themselves.
Goldman believes that the queer
community is full of hard~won wisdom.
"I didn't realize until I made this project how much all women have to learn
from queer women:' While all women
have to fight for their sexuality, lesbians
are forced to come out not only as queer
but also as women who value their sexual
identity as an important part of their
complete personhood.
"Just being a whole person with a sexual
identity is revolutionary. The fact that this
bothers anybody says something very pro~
foundly upsetting about our society;' says
Goldman. She says that, as women, we're
taught that sex shouldn't be important to
us. This message is compounded by the fact
that most sexual narratives revolve around
men. Even lesbians may have internalized
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
27
REVIEWS/
FlLM
these male-centric ideas. In Subjecti_fied,
an
openly lesbian woman tells how she used
to expect an orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. It's the age-old myth that real
sex must be penetrative, even if that myth
is, Goldman says, "usually told about a
penis rather than a dildo!"
Subjecti_fied
isn't a popcorn flick, but
neither is it solely meant for a women's
studies classroom. The film's raw honesty
holds viewers' attention and compels them
to share their own sexual experiences.
Goldman says,"I want to make it easier and
safer for people to [tell their own stories],
to deepen their friendships and support
networks by getting real:' She also has
faith in the power of truth: "Even if a part
of us loves airplane RomComs, we know
they're missing the grit and depth of real
life stories. When we see truer stories, we
gravitate toward them. I think that if we
keep offering up our truth, that has an
impact:' Viewers who are more open
about sex within their own communities
might not be surprised by most of the
film's biographical details, but Goldman
emphasizes that we all have something
to learn from each other: "Because of the
diversity of experience captured in the
project, everybody who watches is going
to be exposed to first-person perspective
that's different from their own:'
It's best to watch this film as part of a
group so you can share your own experiences. Goldman even designed a viewing
party kit-complete
with card games and
bumper stickers-to
help jumpstart the
dialogue. "The part of our lives where sex
exists can be fantastic, but it can also be
incredibly hard. I want people to know
that they' re heard and accepted, and to
take that strength and love and share it
with the people in their lives. People really
crave this, and it's so often missing from
women's lives on account of our silence
and shame around sex, even in outwardly
liberal communities:' Goldman believes
that vulnerability is contagious and transformative, and emphasizes the importance
of sharing and good listening. "When you
listen well, you open yourself up to that
person's full experience and perspective. It
changes who you are. It lets you see and
recognize some humanity in that other
person:' (subjectified.com) •
28
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
EDITOR'S
PICK»
BYMERRYN
JOHNS
Blue Is the
Warmest Color
It's the most talked about, controversial lesbian film of 2013-and possibly of our time. Blue Is the Warmest Color took the Palme D'Or at the
Cannes Film Festival for director Abdellatif Kechiche and leads Adele
Exarchopolous and Lea Seydoux-and it is a very fine film indeed. It's
not so much a lesbian film as it is an exploration of the pungent, bonedeep heartache of first love, shot in the quintessential French style of
cinema verite. Blue has been lauded for the authenticity and sheer
nakedness-emotional and physical-demonstrated by its young female
leads. And there's that seven-minute sex scene in which the rawness
of lesbian desire is expressed and executed at the pace of real life.
The film concentrates on the nexus, the link, between existentialism
and corporeal desire. The characters discuss Sartre as the camera
lingers on their mouths-speaking, smoking and pondering the
meaning of their emergent lust for each other. These are the finest
moments in the film: where attitudes and appetites meet. In the
scenes where the lovers are introduced to their prospective in-laws,
hearty and simple dishes are consumed with wine, along with longing
looks and covert conversation. Adele (Exarchopolous) learns to eat
oysters and everyone smokes as she gets to know Emma's (Seydoux's)
parents. (Their postprandial sex is explosive.) When Emma meets
Adele's parents, the class difference is palpable and later, at a dinner
party for Emma's friends, Adele cooks delectable dishes for the fussy
intellectuals but finds herself out of her depth in their high-flown
conversation. And so the seeds are sown for infidelity and you feel it
viscerally when, in a final scene, Adele longingly begs for a reconciliation, over espresso and white wine, making love to Emma's hand with
her mouth when words fail.
There are many shocking elements to this film-from those sex
scenes, in which desire is itself a cinematic spectacle and flesh sweats
and glistens (there's even spanking), to Steven Spielberg's enthusiastic endorsement of the performances, to the feud the actors now
appear to be having with their director. The latter was, apparently, a
hard taskmaster. The "meet cute," where the girls spot each other for
the first time while crossing a street, allegedly took a hundred takes.
To see the trio accepting their awards at Cannes-in an unusual move,
the jury awarded its highest prize to the three of them jointly-one
could assume that just as they shared in this cinematic triumph, they
also harmoniously rejoiced in having created a celluloid landmark:
young love portrayed without schmaltz, without a commercial pop
soundtrack-and with an honest approach to sexuality that makes a
grown adult blush. But according to media reports, from The Daily
Beast to The Hollywood Reporter, the actors have alleged exploitation,
and the director has insinuated legal action for defamation.
Put aside the controversy and watch this film. It's three hours long, an
amount of time that only the
French would allocate to a
coming-of-age tale, but it's
well worth the investment.
REVIEWS/MUSIC
MUSIC»
T
wo hours north of Memphis
and three hours west of Nashville, Americana Soul goddess
Chastity Brown is born. Taking the world by storm and never straying
too far from her roots in the Southern
gospel, the Tennessee transplant already
has four albums under her belt. The most
recent offering, Back-Road Highways has
gained critical acclaim and won accolades
from the likes of NPR, who deemed the
artist "a promising new voice:•
Brown, who is queer and frequently
speaks lovingly about her longtime partner,
is charming and unassuming, like a newly
acquired best friend. Her easygoing nature
shines in the music of Back-Road Highways, which combines two of the genres
that acted as a soundtrack to Brown's
upbringing: Americana and Soul. "I was
really committed to religion without people telling me you should be committed
to that;' Brown says, stirring her drink in
Minneapolis' Icehouse Restaurant. 'J\.nd
I realize now that it was the music. In
Southern churches, the music can kind of
take over. Maybe there could be preaching or maybe there could be music for
two hours:'
That passion for music informed her
decision to enter Seminary school for
music, which ended abruptly on the day
she decided to share the news that she was
in a relationship with another woman. "The
nature of the school was extreme honesty and laying it all out there," says Brown
of what inspired her confession. "The
response was I was full of the devil, I
was a liar, that I didn't love God, it was a
really dramatic response.
"My experience with sexuality was that
I just thought [in terms of what was] hot.
I just responded to what was attractive;'
Brown says, disregarding constraints of
sex or gender.
Brown's mother immediately jumped
to her defense in the way a social worker
and devout Christian "in the truest sense"
would, and Brown left school and focused
on writing music.
'l7heSoulful Sounds
of Chastity Brown
Queer singer-songwriter p aches the gospel of love on
Back-Road Highways.
BY JANELLE SORENSON AND MELANY JOY BECK
After moving to Knoxville, she began
playing at coffee shops, bars, "anywhere
they would have me:•
Though she is no longer involved with
the church, that essence of soul and letting
the music take over still acts as a guide for
the music Brown creates. "They literally let
go. I'm not religious at all anymore but I
still am moved by that music. It's wild to
see someone sing outside of themselves
and not stop it in any way. Then you have
that letting go and you have 50 people
singing five-part harmonies;' she says.
On a whim, Brown decided to relocate
to Minneapolis with a friend who was
moving for grad school. After the friend
decided she didn't like it and returned
home after six months, Brown decided to
stay and serendipitously so, as she met her
long-time partner.
While it took a year for Brown to acclimatize to the North Star state and start
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
29
REVIEWS/MUSIC
playing shows, she has been embraced by
the vibrant and diverse music scene, which
is known to outsiders as a somewhat
insular group. "I think 'diverse' is the key
word. We have a respected jazz scene, a
respected hip-hop scene, and a respected
indie scene. There was a serious funk and
soul scene;' Brown says.
HOT
LICKS))
BYMIAMANNS
XVIII
Eyes
I'llKeep
You
(Rea
Room
Recoroing)
/'IIKeep You,the sophomore album from Seattle-based and queerled XVIII Eyes, is a catchy, pop evolution that isn't afraid to skew
dark and experimental. Alt-pop songs like "Volcano Surfing" and
the eponymous "I'll Keep You" are relatively mainstream audiencefriendly, but once captivated prove to be a gateway to the gothinfused "Multiples" and psychedelically dream-like "Low Tech." The
whole album balances on a tight-wire of creativity and alienation,
successfully experimenting without losing listeners, and the end
result is a concept-driven project that is worth exploring again and
again. "We Only Talk in San Francisco" was released as an advance
single and makes for an excellent introduction. It encapsulates
what /'IIKeep Youaims to achieve: music that is smart, psychedelic,
approachable and haunting, all at the same time.
As a queer, biracial and female artist,
Brown is difficult to categorize, a fact that
she enjoys. "I think being queer and being
biracial is my lens of seeing everything. I
can't remove myself from who I am and
because of who I am, it informs the way
that I see things;' she says. "Being queer
is a really powerful thing in that there's
ambiguity. There's no thumbprint, per se:'
When asked about her mission statement as an artist, she responds thoughtfully. "The integrity of art. The only way
that I feel like I can relate to people is to
be honest. Whether a song is about me, or
someone I know, or an imaginative story,
it has to feel true and so that's my main
objective; to write things that have a bit of
depth as well as truth:'
If listeners go on a journey throughout
Brown's collection, one thing is sure: There
is both depth and truth, and like the rolling hills of the Tennessee country she grew
up in, they go on, as far as the eye can see.
(chastitybrownmusic.com) •
30
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
Ferron
Lighten-ing
(Snort
Story
Recoros)
Ferron and Bitch have come together to create the collaborative
documentary/album Thunderand Lighten-ing. Thunderis the
documentary of Ferron's life as an artist, made by Bitch and Billie Jo
Cavallaro, and Lighten-ing,is Ferron's 15th album, produced by Bitch.
Ferron, sometimes referred to as the "the Johnny Cash of lesbian
folksinging," is well known for her guitar playing and songwriting,
both of which are on full display in her latest outing. The album
opens sweetly with the love song "Light of my Light," but soon after
her acoustic melodies give way to the ambient notes of electronica.
Bitch encouraged Ferron to turn some of her poems into songs,
and accompanied her readings with sultry bass-guitar riffs. Other
stand-out tracks include "Army of You," "The (H)ungerPoems"and the
perfect ending note, "The Return."
REVIEWS/
BOOKS
A
t 25 years old, Kenya Jackson
was $100,000 dollars in debt.
She was unemployed despite
her three degrees. Her girl~
friend of three years had broken up with
her, leaving her alone in a barren apart~
ment. Lonely and depressed, Jackson lay
on her floor and began journaling out her
feelings. Over the next few years, those
reflections would come together as her first
book, empty.S PA C E: Where is My Stuff?
NavigatingtheQuarterlifeCrisiswith Wisdom
andSkilla selfmemoir based on an idea that
Jackson created to overcome the anxieties
that gripped her mid~twenties.
In her book Jackson writes that tide is a
play on words, representing both the phys~
ical empty space of not having something
and the infinite prospects the world has
to offer. She explains that we can turn our
lowest moments of physical and spiritual
emptiness into empowering opportunity.
"When you don't have anything, it's really
such a great opportunity for you to build
what you want, versus fill your space with
things [that] everybody else is telling you
[to] do:'
Jackson's book suggests that we lessen our
reliance on the "Tools of the Ego" -at~
tachment, judgment, fear and destructionfeelings that serve our logical thought
processes but can impede our happiness.
On the other hand, she suggests practicing
the "Tools of the Spirit" -appreciation,
compassion, enthusiasm and creation-to
create positive mental balance.
Rather than being a step~by~step self~
help manual, Jackson's book reflects upon
her own struggles with addiction, loss
and failure. The tide is also inspired by
the fact that, during the time of her crisis,
her apartment had been literally devoid of
material belongings. "I was just sitting in
this emptiness. Like, there was nothing
around me;' Jackson describes. "... And I
felt really empty on the inside:' But since
her apartment was empty, Jackson real~
ized that she that had infinite prospects.
She healed herself by unlearning her
judgmental ways and practicing enthusi~
asm for the future.
"Were a very encouraged generation,
but not necessarily an empowered gener~
ation;' says the Adanta~based author. She
explains that even though youth are hit~
ting the books, job prospects remain low;
when the expectation of success isn't met,
the blame gets directed inwards.
"The quarterlife crisis is something that
has ceased to be a topic of conversation,
but I think it's because young people are
just burying it. We're not talking about it
because of the shame, and because of the
fact on some level we think it's our fault:'
During her crisis, Jackson kept silent
about her situation because she felt em~
barrassed by her perceived failures; her
writing was the only place where she felt
she could be honest. It was the journaling
that helped her dig into her psyche and
transform herself.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
31
REVIEWS/
BOOKS
It took Jackson five years to write and
crisis] is not unique
more than that, and the sooner we get to
to them;' says Jackson. "We have a whole
figuring out [ our passions], the better our
a motivational speaker and is running a
series of workshops based on her book's
generation of young people who are deal~
quality of life will be ... "
messages. She's also embracing her love
time for us to release the shame, release
ing a space for themselves.
for creative writing,
the blame and the embarrassment
space for you at corporate
publish empty.SP ACE.
Now 31, she is
preparing to publish
a book of poems she'd never printed
out
that [ the quarterlife
ing with these exact same things, and it's
rounding
sur~
"I want young people to start creat~
If there's no
America ...
then create a space for yoursel£ because
this topic, and start getting to
of fear. And she's engaged to her partner,
the root of who we really are. None of us
this is the perfect opportunity
Michelle.
are what we have, who we date or how
to do so. And don't feel bad about it:'
much money we make ... We are so much
(kenyajackson.com)
"I really want for young people to realize
EDITOR'S
PICK»
Is this your first novelfeaturinga
lesbianas the maincharacter?
BYTRIXY
FLOWER
Small Town Trouble
Jean Erhardt
(Two Terriers Press)
As an avid lover of genre fiction,
especially crime novels, I was so
impressed with Small Town Trouble I
just had to interview its author. Protagonist Kim Claypoole, successful
lesbian business owner and wannabe
detective, just can't keep her nose
out of things and finds herself in the
thick of a murder when she goes
home to help her mother sort out her
finances. The author Jean Erhardt
kept me engaged by taking me
through Claypoole's journey and her
unexpected reunion with Amy-the
girl with whom she used to practice
French kissing! The novel is intriguing, funny and made me wonder if
there was a bit of Kim Claypoole in
Jean Erhardt.
Whatdoes KimClaypoolehavein
commonwith JeanErhardt?
Claypoole and I are alike in a lot of
ways. We share the same sense of
humor and we both have a penchant
for damsels in distress. For years, I
worked as a private investigator and
personal protection specialist aka
bodyguard. In one memorable case I
was holed up for two weeks in a highend, high security hotel situation
with a loaded .38 and a female client
32
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
•
The client was in the process of
divorcing her crazed, psychopathic
husband who smoked opium and
was richer than God. She chainsmoked long, rainbow colored
cigarettes, drank gallons of Persian
tea and carried on lengthy, melodramatic phone conversations in Farsi at
all hours of the day and night. By the
end of the two weeks I was almost
hoping that her husband would show
up and shoot me. But things turned
out well for both of us. I got a big
paycheck and she is now living happily ever after under an alias enjoying
her multi-million dollar divorce settlement in an exotic, sunny locale.
Lesbians have regularly appeared in
my books and short stories. One of
my short stories that comes to mind
is about a young woman named Taffy
who conspires with her creepy twin
brother to rob the convenience store
where she works. But things don't
go as planned. Her boss gets killed
in the heist and Taffy finds herself
becoming romantically involved with
the female cop who is investigating
the robbery homicide. I think this
story would make a great movie. Any
filmmakers out there?
Doyou havea favoritetype of book
that you enjoyreading?
I used to read a lot of so-called literary fiction, which was smart, well
written, emotionally loaded stuff. But
these days, I find myself mostly picking up a good mystery, usually one
written by a writer who tells a good
story, but also makes me laugh. Kinky
Friedman is probably my favorite but
I also love the early Janet Evanovich
mysteries.
Wheredid you get your inspiration? Thehumoris so refreshing,
I knew I wanted to write a mystery
especiallyfor a mysterynovel.
series set around the Smoky Mountains. I love it there and have spent
a lot of time in the area, which is so
rich with colorful characters, folklore,
good food and beautiful scenery.
As a teenager, I worked during the
summers in Gatlinburg, Tenn. where
my family spent summers and I graduated from Maryville College, which
is in the area.
Who doesn't love a
good laugh? Especially these days.
I want to write a
series that is not just
mysterious, but fun.
I want readers to
have a good time
along the way.
(jeanerhardt.com)
for you
REVIEWStFO
Sweet Thing!
Vegan Valentine
Indulgent, seductive-and
Jam Jar Wines are cornering
the market in quality sweet
wines that are perfect to
serve with dessert. The Sweet
Shiraz is made from grapes
grown in the Western Cape
of South Africa. It's lighter
than your typical Shiraz,
only semi-sweet with
some good acidity, and is
overflowing with the flavor
of ripe, juicy berries. Best
served slightly chilled, it's
the perfect match for a
chocolate souffle with
raspberries, a rich cheese
platter or any seductive
sweet to top off the perfect
Valentine's Day dinner.
($12,jamjarwines.com)
healthy-date night treats.
BY GEORGIA KROKUS
V
alentine's Day is all about
celebrating and adoring your
true love and the sexy and
abundant life you have ere~
ated together. So what better way to put
a spin on an old tradition than with a
healthy, New Age perspective?
The new book, Hayley Hobson's Hip
Guide to Creating Your Sexy & Abundant Life
offers couples insights on how to do just
that: through everything
from yoga, to food, to a
little self love!
Hayley Hobson is a
trained health coach from
the Institute for Integrative
Nutrition in New York; a
certified Pilates and yoga
instructor, a do TERRA
certified pure essential oil
director and a Pangaea
beauty ecologist. The founder
and owner of NoBo Pilates
& Yoga studio in Boulder, Colo., her exper~
tise can be found published on her blog and
in numerous natural health and spirituality
magazines and journals.
This Valentine's Day she provides
readers of her new book with tips on how
to achieve balance, harmony, positivity,
health and happiness. Annual holidays
such as Valentine's Day can hold immense
symbolic importance in our lives. Hob~
son thought that her life was ending last
Christmas Eve, when she realized that her
ambition and perfectionism, insane work
schedule and unresolved family tensions
were brewing into a storm of ill health and
depression. She decided to slow down and
examine the fruits of her life and to for~
mulate a more holistic existence in order
to avoid catastrophe.
This book shares with readers how to
use simple spiritual practices, regular sex,
gentle exercise and healthy food to create
a better life. The food is especially entic~
ing-from Avocado Bliss Soup to Spicy
"Szechuan'' Noodles. And you don't have
to give up dessert, either. Vegan sweet~
treats include coconut almond macaroons
(recipe at right) and raw brownies.
And if you're worried about the negli~
gible calorie count in these delicious nib~
bles, work it all off with Hobson's yoga
sequences, designed especially for cou~
ples to help partners reconnect. If yoga
isn't your bag, surely you won't say no
to a little more sex. Hobson outlines the
many benefits of having more sex, such as
boosted immunity, pain relie£ increased
self esteem, exercise, and lower blood
pressure. (hayleyhobson.com) •
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
33
IEWS!TECH
EDITOR'S
PICK
Sexy Snaps
Take your boudoir selfies to the next level.
Sony
PlayStation
4
av RACHEL sHATTo
Any gamer grrrl worth her d-pads
I
's Valentine's Day and you want to do
something special to spice things up
with your girl. If a photo is worth a
housand words, just think how many
ways you can say,"I want you" with one sexy
selfie, created just for her. But taking a DIY
boudoir shot is easier said than done. Don't
panic, there are plenty of tools and tricks of
the trade to make your shoot a success.
determine the ideal settings for your DSLR.
($30, esdevices.com/ products/luxi)
knows that the next generation of
gaming is upon us, and that the firstnot to mention most anticipatedcontender out of the gate is Sony's
PlayStation 4. Was all the hype worth
it? Absolutely!
Not only do PS4's games look
leaps and bounds better than those
available for older consoles, with
movie-like detail and effects, but the
action in them is also far smoother,
which makes everything appear
1. Manfrotto
KlypCase
Any photogra~
pher will tell you
the key to a sue~
cessful photo is
lighting. Make it
easy on yourself
with the Man~
frotto Klyp Case
and Tripod. The
Kylp case features 12 LED bulbs, ideal for
creating the perfect portrait. It's like having a
mobile photo studio in your pocket.
($74, touchofmodern.com)
2. Luxi
For the photographer who prefers to take
their shots with a DSLR camera it's still es~
sential to get the lighting right. That's where
the Luxi light meter comes
in. The light diffusion
dome fits over your
smart phone camera
and when used with
the Luxi app helps
34
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
3.CamMeApp
much more realistic. The console also
Anyone who's ever attempted a full body self
ie with the help of a mirror knows that things
can get pretty tricky.Avoid the awkward arm
syndrome with the Cam Me's hand recogni~
tion app allows you to trigger the aperture
from across the room, just through the use
of hand gestures. (Free, iTunes)
boasts lots of neat new features such
as voice control and pretty much the
best game controllers ever.
Current games range from
arcade throwbacks like Resogunto
clever puzzle-packed (and female
helmed) adventures like Contrast,
and even excellent family fare like
the enjoyable-by-all-ages Knack. Of
4. Facetune App
course, it's the prospect of big future
Even with just the right lighting and the sex~
iest pose, your images may still need a little
techno magic. Facetune has got you covered
with its impressive range of tools. With the
swipe of a finger, teeth can be whitened, skin
can be smoothed and eyes can be brightened.
Plus, free weekly tutorials will teach you new
tricks and techniques. ($3, iTunes)
releases that make most lady gamers'
5. Mobi Lens
For a more artistic or surreal take on your
sexy pies try adding a special lens. The Mobi
Lens's clip~on fish eye, wide and macro lens
can add a unique and dreamlike quality to
your photos. ($65, mobdens.com) •
pulses quicken, and PS4 has them
lined up in spades-many featuring
strong female leads.
Some of the standouts on the
horizon include Beyond Good& Evil 2,
DragonAge: Inquisition,Mass Effect 4,
Mirror's Edge2 and the next
installment in the TombRaider saga.
So, if you love games and were
left wanting by your holiday gifts this
year, we can't think of anything better
to use all that store credit towards
than this. We'll see you on PSN!
(playstation.com)
-RANDY
NELSON
"Gorgeous ...
Grab your giclfriend _~~!~u~,,
"Gorgeous.
Take any opportunity
you can to see this film."
RREIADAMUDE
CHRISllNE HORNE
RGARIT~
afl/111by Dominique
Cardona
a11dLaurie Colbert
- Girls On Film
- AfterEl/en.com
ThefirsttimetwoOscar-winners
have
portrayed
same-sex
lovers
onscreen!
Thishilarious
foul-mouthed,
lesbian
roadmovieco-stars
Oscar®-winning
Brenda
Fricker
andOlympia
actresses
Dukakis
asDotandStella,
acrackerjack
lesbian
couple
ontherunfromanursing
home.
93min.CC
Thischarming
filmco-starring
a
gorgeous
pairofactresses
(withterrific
on-screen
chemistry)
tellsthetaleof
anundocumented
Mexican
nanny,
(Nicola
Correia
Damude,
Margarita
Havana
51)whose
girlfriend
Jane
(Christine
Horne,
TruLove)
is
reluctant
tocommitandwhose
cash-strapped
yuppieemployers
are
aboutto lethergo.91min.CC
~WolfeOnDemand.com
"A beautifully acted
and engaging love story.
Prepare to laugh, cry,
and fall a little bit in love
with Stella and Dotty."
amazon.com
Lesbian.com
----
FEATURES/
LAUGH TRA
ut comic Erin Foley is causing a ruckus from coast to coast.
While she'll always call New York home, this energetically
hilarious standup comic, actor and writer performs across
the country and is currently a huge presence in Los Angeles.
With appearances on Comedy Central Presents, Curb Your
Enthusiasm and TV Guide's Standup in Stilettos, to name just a few, Foley
is on the rise and showing absolutely no signs of slowing down anytime
soon. After her debut on Conan earlier this year and her creation of comedy
show Gays R Us, the uncontrollable laughter is only getting louder.
When did you decide to pursue comedy as
a career?
I started performing improv at a standup comedy
venue in New York City when I was 25 or 26
years old. I would stay after my show and watch
the stand up and just fell in love. It was at that
point when I decided to pursue it.
How did you feel after making a splash on
Conan this year?
I've taped Conan twice and both times were
absolutely amazing. I think the second timewhich was last month-was
more enjoyable
because I wasn't crazy, out-of-control nervous!
I feel incredibly lucky to have had the opportunity to meet Conan and his amazing writing
staff. Those gigs make up for all the hell shows
I've done over the past 13 years!
Which do you prefer, standup or acting?
My first love will always be standup comedy. The
immediacy, the energy, the connection with the
crowd, just can't be matched.
How would you describe your show
Gays R Us?
Gays R Us is my monthly standup comedy show at
The Hollywood lmprov. It's the first Wednesday
of every month, but I always recommend checking the Hollywood lmprov's calendar or my
Gays R Us Facebook page because sometimes
it changes due to private events at the venue. It
features the best gay and gay friendly comics in
L.A. and comics from other cities that are visiting. I started it about five years ago so that the
gay community could have one night each month
to go and laugh, meet new and fun people and
always know that it's a safe, fun and awesome
space. There are a lot of gay slurs, homophobia,
etc. in comedy clubs, so this is the night that
everyone-gay and straight-can just relax and
not worry about being made fun 0£
Do you ever have embarrassing or awkward
moments on stage?
I don't usually get embarrassed on stage but in
real life, sure. I think it's probably a lifetime of
embarrassing and awkward moments that has
propelled my standup career.
Were you the class clown as a kid?
Yes. I've always loved to laugh and have been a
huge fan of practical jokes. My family is really
funny, especially my father, and I learned at an
early age not to take anything too seriously.
You talk about being a lesbian in your standup.
How do you think that influences people's
opinions?
I hope my act has a very positive influence on
people's opinions of homosexuality. I travel
around the county performing at comedy clubs
and the crowd is about 90 percent straight. My
goal is to get them laughing, make a connection
as a human being and then talk about being gay.
I think laughter brings out the best in everyone.
If my comedy can bridge gaps and chip away at
homophobia, I have truly succeeded.
Where do you see yourself in your career in
the next three years?
I'd love to do more acting as well as travel abroad
performing standup. There are wonderful comedy
festivals in Australia, England and Ireland that I
have my eye on.
What about the next 15?
I can barely get through the week let alone
think about the next 15 years! Overall, if I'm
making a living doing comedy, surrounded by
my friends and family, I'll be living the dream.
( erinkfoley.com) •
~,.
•••/ ...::.-~'
.-...
--
\I
'·
•
,.~
I
1/
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
;;:.
__ .,,.
'
2014
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FEATURES/
THE L LI
web series Kiss Her, I'm Famous has a new
of season two. Noureen De Wulf, who plays
Anger Management, will be stepping into the
ah-who,
as fans of the series will remember, is
een.
e KHIM scripts, the popular sitcom actor
jump
tunity to work with director Selbak, as well
as beco
lesbian web series "that women can watch
and rela
rtance of having "diverse characters both
in lifestyle
screen" in particular pushed De Wulf
to take on the ro e, s e says.
Season one is quick, fun, and witty with the two lead roles
played by The Real L Words Tracy Ryerson and Ilea Matthews,
who is no newbie to onscreen work. The series starts out by
recapping the depressing breakups that both girls had just sur~
vived, albeit not easily. The rest of the five episodes follow the
two best friends through the ins and outs of their post breakup
lives. Rather than taking the normal approach of camping out on
the couch with a pint of ice cream, the two decide to make their
own sex tape in hopes of becoming famous while simultaneously
making their exes regret their latest relationship related decisions.
Noureen De Wulf' s character Hannah is definitely a trouble~
maker. De Wulf describes the character as "an evil Disney princess"
who is the "grower of her own Kombucha'' and "always seen in a
silk robe:' This mixture of a personality seems to fit perfectly with
the series, which is satirical, yet fairly accurate in its portrayal of
the state of our society.
It also seems to fit perfectly with De Wul£ The actor's character
on Anger Management, Lacey, is a fiery~hot patient of Charlie
Sheen's, who was sentenced to anger management therapy after
shooting her boyfriend in the crotch for cheating on her. With
De Wulf's stunning beauty and penchant for hot headedness as
Lacey, there's no way that Hannah won't be just as compelling.
The actor has more than a fitting personality for the role, though;
she also has past experience filming a web series. De Wulf pre~
viously played a part in Burning Love, a comedic spoof of The
Bachelor.The series was nominated for an Emmy, making De Wulf
far from a rookie to the online scene. As someone who likes to take
part in different kinds of entertainment mediums, De Wulf is quick
to point out that "everyone watches everything on their computers
now;' and is perfectly content being in an online~only series.
Another guarantee that Dewulf is the perfect fit for Hannah
stems from the fact that the web series is directed by the hugely
talented Rolla Selbak, who is also known for the films Darkest
and Three Veils. De Wulf describes Selbak's vision as "diverse" and
adds that Selbak is a "completely unique person in Hollywood as
a female, ethnic, lesbian director and writer:' Selbak is definitely
a huge asset to the gay and lesbian film community. Her taste for
comedy combined with fast paced drama in Kiss Her, I'm Famous
displays her ability to merge societal norms with open sexuality.
De Wulf, who sees every acting experience as "a chance to
learn and grow;' has most recently focused on shooting Anger
Management, which is approaching its 100th episode. Her goal
as an actor is to create a character that's "memorable and funny;'
which viewers can definitely expect to see in Hannah, and already
do see in Lacey.
After filming both Anger Management and Kiss Her, I'm
Famous, the gifted actor hopes to do "more film, more romantic
comedies, an action film;' and one day, her own sitcom. De Wulf' s
ultimate goal, she says, is to get her best friend, who is a lesbian,
to finally watch something she's in. Chances are high that this will
play out, as season two of the web series is expected to be just as
witty and engaging as the first.
The entire first season of Kiss Her, I'm Famous can be watched
on Tello Films and was also recently released for free on YouTube.
Season two began filming in late 2013 and will be available online
soon, too. Catch up now and prepare for the addition of De Wulf
to season two of this hilarious series. (onemorelesbian.com) •
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
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39
A
I
FEATURES/
u can eas
imagine that
ecome n artist. As the
d t
stepdaughter of
y nature and nurng the right creative
through it she creates
tbreak and humor.
, The Truth A
, tells the story of a girl
struggled for her entir
th the knowledge that her
r died as a consequence o
irth. Emanuel's life takes a
tur , however, when Linda (Jessica iel), a beautiful single mother,
moves in next door. Emanuel (Kaya Scodelario) immediately
develops an obsessive attachment to her, but the situation grows
even more complicated when Linda's secret comes to light. To
reveal more would require a spoiler alert, but let's just say that
the two women share a unique bond forged in tragedy. Despite
delving into dark territory, Emanuel is a cathartic and ultimately
hopeful tale, and should be sought out and seen-Jessica Biel's
stunning performance alone is worth the price of admission.
The power of Gregorini's filmmaking lies in the fact that her
stories reflect personal truths-what
she's experienced and what
she's learned. Gregorini may work behind the camera, but her
passion and sensitivity end up on screen. Both her debut film,
Tanner Hall, and Emanuel are deeply personal pieces. "I think it's
sort of implicit that you write what you know, and are always in
the process of exorcising your demons through your arr;' she says.
Now that The Truth About Emanuel is available on demand, and
will be in theaters this month, Gregorini shares her thoughts on
how the film helped her heal, how the industry is changing, and
how her queerness is a powerful filmmaking tool.
How did The Truth About Emanuel come about?
Well, the film is a personal piece in many ways. I think both the
lead characters, Emanuel and Linda, are sort of composites ... of
struggles I've had in various parts of my life-Emanuel
representing the younger me and Linda representing the older me. I
ended up putting both of those components into the film and I
just sort of let them duke it out and now I'm all healed, now it's
all good. [Laughs]
The film delves into dark territory, but you're still left
with a sense of hope.
I definitely think it's important when you're tackling themes like
heartbreak and madness and mortality-those
are pretty heavy
topics-I think it's important to infuse all of it with some sense
of hope, because I certainly am an optimist. Our experience as
humans is fraught with darkness, but I think for me anyway, as an
artist, what is healing is to shed some light into those areas and
explore them fearlessly and boldly, but to keep a sense of humor.
And I feel like I did a fairly good job of infusing some English
humor into [Emanuel].
THE L LI
What sort of demons did you feel that you needed to
exorcise with Emanuel?
Emanuel's mother in the story died in childbirth, so she has this
missing piece in her life. Thank God I have a mother who's very
much alive and very vital, but in the years I was growing up she
was an actress-from when I was very young-so she would often
be gone on set ... for three months at a time, and I think, as a child,
your mother goes to the store and it's like that fear of abandonment
sets in. I think that definitely triggered that in me ... that sense of
longing and abandonment. Now we have a great relationship and it
honestly couldn't be better.
I end up exorcising my demons, addressing those issues that
are still in me, not because I consciously am, like, I'm going to
write a story about heartbreak and loss, but because I think things
like that just sort of come out. I don't even know what I'm writing,
and then at the end of the journey I read it and it's kind oflike I'm
having a conversation with myself, and I'm like, Oh, I see, you're
still dealing with that. That's OK-Round Five.
[Also] I wanted to have a child and I'm unable to, so there's
obviously a lot of sorrow and grief around that issue. I don't know
how they both ended up in one film, but they did, and they seem
to work in that way.
The movie depicts the raw power of that maternal bond.
Have you shown it to your mother?
Yes, I have. I mean, my parents have been super-duper supportive-you know, my mom and my dad and my stepdad flew in
from Italy to Sundance to see it-so, I mean, I've had tremendous
support, and they recognized me in the movie all over the place,
and I think they're just all happy that I'm finding my footing and
finding my voice. I'm lucky in a way because I come from a family
of artists, so it's not like this foreign concept that I would have
personal parts of my life revealed in my work. I think that's just
by nature what it is.
The passionate connection between Emanuel and Linda,
do you think that on some level it's rooted in desire?
To me, I think desire is a part of even friendship, really. I feel like
there is an intentional sort of undertone of sexuality in Emanuel
and Linda's relationship, and I think that happens in life, where
you meet someone and really connect with them and you develop
this deep friendship. I think there is an element to it that is
sexual, whether you act on it or you don't act on it. Whether
it's conscious or unconscious, we are sexual creatures. And to
me filmmaking is about desire. It's the ultimate voyeuristic
experience. So this film does have desire. It has the desire to
have a child, to have a mother, to have a connection. One of
the ultimate connections is sexual connection, so it's like there's
blurred lines and I think there are blurred lines in life and I think
that's what makes it interesting.
Does being queer affect how you make films?
It definitely does. I mean, that's who I am. That's kind of my lens
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
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41
TURES/
THE L LIST
on the world, really. But I think as an artist in general,
I think that your otherness is helpful, really. It kind of
gives you this bird's~eye view, because you don't belong.
I think all of us have had a sense of not really belonging.
I mean, now, sort of, we belong to this other community,
which to some degree is a marginalized community. Less
and less so, thank God, and making huge strides every
day. So, it may not be the most comfortable existence.
However, I think when you're not completely com~
fortable and belonging is when you work extra hard to
soothe yourself. In doing that, I make art, and I feel very
blessed to have that ability, because I can kind of trans~
pose what is uncomfortable and new and make it into
something that is hopefully beautiful. But I like being a
gay woman. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
The film industry is notorious for being a boys'
club. Is this changing?
We still have a very long way to go. This year at Sundance
was the first year there was an equal number of women
and male directors in the dramatic competition. So I
felt very honored to be part of that class of 2013, the
first year that that happened. We are making tremen~
dous strides and that's very important. I'm definitely
an advocate of female~driven material. That's what I'm
interested in, that's what I write, that's what I want to
direct. That's what I'm passionate about. We're far from
parity, and we need to support each other, and we need
to enter all aspects of this industry to make it be more
representative, because in a big way film is a legacy we
leave behind, and if it's all through the guys' perspective
then it's kind of a skewed story that we're telling.
It's also been a landmark year for lesbian film,
with high-profile films like Blue Is the Warmest
Color and Concussion coming out. What are
your thoughts about them?
I'm desperate to see Blue Is the Warmest Color. I missed
it at Cannes-it was playing and I couldn't see it, and it's
on my list to see, literally this week, so, sadly, I can't com~
ment on that. I did see Concussion at Sundance and-really lovely
filmmaker. I have to tell you I have some issues with the depiction
of lesbianism in film. I just ... [laughs], I guess, and I don't even
know how to put this into words and I'm probably going to get
myself into all sorts of trouble, but it's like I hate it when it feels
like, I don't know, guys or film buyers are loving it because it's a bit
salacious, or because of what they project onto it.
I have trouble when I hear people talking about those mov~
ies after the fact, and I can't-I obviously haven't found the right
words to express my unease with the way they're received ... It
takes on an appeal level that is based on an appropriation [of les~
bian sexuality]. It's actually not for your enjoyment. It's just what
these two characters are doing.
And it's a mixed bag, because in certain ways you want it to be
OK with everyone. You want to have those discussions and put
it out there and have it be accepted or discussed or whatever, but
this is about the way in which it becomes OK or accepted. There's
a deeper conversation that's going on and there's a deeper implica~
42
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2014
tion that's happened, and it's a trade~of£ I haven't really wrapped
my head around my feelings about it. But maybe I'll make a film
and work it out that way.
What's next on the horizon for you?
The movie that I'm the most excited about is this biopic about
Tamara de Lempicka, the 1920s bisexual painter. That's really
where my passion is at the moment and why I'm back in L.A.,
getting that on its feet. I have a couple of things lined up, but I
would say what I'm really gearing up for is Tamara's story, because
I think she's such a powerful woman and, obviously, I relate to her
in some ways. I think her story-about trying to balance career and
ambition with her loyalty to her family-taps into a lot of things
that are relevant to women today. Especially because in 1920s
Paris it was a time of sexual exploration and freedom, and one of
the first times that women were getting a foothold, economically
and power~wise. That's really reflective of Hollywood today,
specifically in terms of women and film and what's happening
right now. ( thetruthaboutemanuel.com)
•
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46
CURVE
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2014
THE LARGESTGI L PARTYMUSIC FESTIVALIN THE WORLD
THE ORIGINALDINAH SHORE WEEKEND
APRIL 2-6, 2014 I PALM SPRINGS,CA
........ ......... . . ....... .
Saturday Night we present
a major artist in concert,
visit TheDinah.com
for details!
plus
IGGYAZALEA
in concert,
Mary Lambert,
singing "Same Love,"
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis'
VMA award-winning hit single & LGBTanthem
Porcelain
Hunter
Black,
Valentine
and more.
Check website for up to date Dinah entertainment
Hilton almost sold out
Book on line now in our second hotel The Saguaro
Tickets on sale right now at the best available price.
TheDinah.com
SILVER
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@DinahShore
@rheDinah
e
DinahShore
eet U.K.
lesbian pop duo,
RednPinkl Emma
(Pink) and Yoda
(Red) hang out
with the likes of
Jessie J, and
perform regularly
in British Gay
Prides and music
festivals like
Glastonbury.
Yoda-who is in
a relationship
with Big Brother
UK contestant
Shabby-was
on the TV show
Candy Bar Girls.
Hipster U.K. pop pair RednPink on their unbreakable bond.
ByStella
&Lucy
48
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
How
did
you
meet?
particularly like my style or tattoos, but
Who
areyour
musical
influences
and
icons?
Yoda: School days. Although we didn't go
hey, I'm working on it.
Yoda: Our friends all make music and they
to the same school, we took part in several
Emma: I am actually with a man; I would
are a big inspiration. I would also have
musical theater workshops together.
say I am bisexual. Yoda accepted me and
to say Amy Winehouse, Bob Marley and
Emma: We met through a girl band and
encouraged me when no one else did so it
Michael Jackson, No Doubt too; they have
it was an instant connection. We would
was easy to identify as myself.
all inspired the hell out of me.
Itsounds
asthough
you
make
agreat
team.
Turner too! It's all about the funk.
spend most of our weekends together
from thereon after.
Emma: Prince is my number one. Tina
Yoda: It is really embarrassing, but we
Emma: We have the same aspirations and
used to get together, and you know, sing
ideals in life. We are very different but
What
have
you
got
inthepipeline?
in front of the mirror, as you do. [Laughs]
very similar too. There is a mutual respect
Yoda: Germany tour. The Germans love us
between us. This is why we are named
and they are so free and open over there.
Sohow
long
have
you
known
one
another?
RednPink because they are strong, fiery
We are starting on the new single and on the
Yoda: Oh, wow, way over 10 years. Emma
colors. We have been told they clash,
album really soon and our new stuff wont be
and I were never an item, never together-
but when you have such a tight
together but Emma was the reason I knew
friendship it can only work
I was gay. You fool around at a young
well together.
age, right? She was my first-ever lesbian
Yoda: When I first
encounter. We really connected; she
met Emma
helped me get over my heartache that
essentially what
so urban, definitely more alternative.
We are in L.A. this month and
I had experienced in my heterosexual
made me want
relationships. The things my body was
to work with
next single
doing I couldn't even believe, I had never
her was her
now that our
known anything like it. Emma never judged
talent. Our
first single
me, I could just be me and I never had that
lives opened
"Badman"
freedom with my family.
each other's
was released
Emma: At the time I had a boyfriend, so
eyes. There
technically Yoda and I were having an
was genuine
affair; we were around 20 when we both
respect and love
felt physically attracted to each other.
for one another.
Yoda: I didn't know whether or not I loved
Creatively we fill the
Emma as a friend or as my lover, but time
gaps in each other's
working on our
in August
and is now on
What
inspired
your
first
single
and
who
wrote
thelyrics?
made me realize that she was far more
lives and we share the same
important to me as my friend to carrying
values. Our friendship is my rock.
on having this affair and fuck up any
There is no relationship that can quite
something one day, came in the studio
chance of us remaining so spiritually and
honestly compare.
and barn! She wrote, [a poem that]
musically bonded.
Yoda: Emma was pissed off about
became "Badman."
Emma: Yoda and I have a complete,
Doyou
ever
fight?
Emma: If you have a negative mind frame,
unconditional love.
Yoda: Emma is straight to the point; the
it is creating a reality. Be aware of what
thought of upsetting her makes me feel
you say because it can be perceived in all
So,
how
doyou
identify?
sick. It takes so much for me to speak out.
kinds of ways.
Yoda: I've been gay since way back-I just
Emma: If her behavior is not reflecting
Yoda: If you think negatively you attract
love women. I am not against men but
who she is I pick her up on it and I discuss
negativity. If you think positive, positive
when I am single-and
it with her immediately. When we used to
things come. You can choose to change
your life. If you hang around with good
I am single now-it
is always women I flock to, and they are
argue, we would sit there for hours and
the attraction. I just love women so much.
discuss it with a bottle of red; it's not
people they will introduce you to
It took me years to finally accept I was gay,
good for me to harbor things when she is
good people. That pretty much defines
and coming from a Greek Cypriot family
the most important person in my life.
the lyrics.
this made-and
Yoda: My first girlfriend couldn't handle
still makes-things
very
difficult. You can't be openly gay, not all
my friendship with Emma. People find it
Finally
what
doyou
dotochill
out
and
relax?
my family knows and to be honest they
tough because we are so, so close.
Yoda: Our chill time revolves around yoga
don't need to. The family that know is OK
Emma: Oh we have had people
and meditation, taking in nature and talking
with it. My grandparents are my breath, I
desperately trying to get in between us.
with friends about each other's lives.
wouldn't want to hurt them at such fragile
My man totally understands who we are
Emma: Good food and friends is a definitely
ages by exposing who I am, they don't
and loves Red.
a big one for us. (rednpink.co.uk) •
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
49
FEATURES/
ROMAN
Out lesbian photographer Steph
Grant has a knack for showing real,
raw love. Last year, that talent was
showcased when her photo shoot of
an Indian-themed lesbian wedding
in Los Angeles went viral. The
gorgeous, lush images of Shannon
and Seema's wedding-the brides
wearing a blend of northern Indian
and Western wedding apparelswept across the Internet because
the love between them just leaps off
the screen. This is the passion that
Grant sets out to capture at every
wedding she shoots. The response
was overwhelming. Support for the
couple poured in from around the
world. It was a dream come true
for Grant, who has always hoped
to make the world a better place
through her art.
How do you capture romance in your
photographs?
People always say,"It'sthe little things in life:'
It's easy to look back at your wedding day and
remember the big things, but the little things
sometimes go unnoticed. My goal is for clients
to look back, years down the road, and feel those
little moments in each image. That smile or wink,
the tear that rolled down someone's cheek when
the love of their life locked eyes with them as
they walked down the aisle- I want my clients to
cherish my images because they make them feel
their love story.
What's the best thing about wedding
photography?
It is such an emotional event in a person's life, and
I love sharing in that! I also like that weddings can
be a challenge, and that each one is unique! A fun
fact: At receptions, I have a soft spot for slideshows
of childhoods or snapshots from when the couple
was dating, with their favorite songs playing as an
accompaniment. I grin like an idiot.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
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51
What do you think about your
recent photographs of an Indian
lesbian wedding going viral?
My thought process after my friend
texted me saying that someone posted
my images on Tumblr and that they
had 76,000 notes: 1) Wow, awesome!
2)What are notes? 3) I need to get a
Tumblr and thank this person! 4) My
website crashed. This is a big deal! 5)
How can I use this to help out others?
6) I am so happy that love is spreading
like wildfire and overwhelmed at the
positive feedback.
Every time you shoot an LGBT
wedding this year, you're donating
some of the proceeds to the Trevor
Project. What made you decide
to do it?
I chose the Trevor Project because I've
been there. I've been that kid or teen who
felt like I was damaged goods and had no
one to turn to. The Trevor Project helps
kids who need someone to listen and be
there for them.
When people see your photos of
LGBT weddings, how do you think
they'll be influenced?
Stereotypes are gross, but they're
everywhere. I'd love for my images
to knock certain stereotypes out the
window and for people to see that love
is just love. I love it that people have
seen the images from the lesbian Indian
wedding and said, "Wow, how could
anyone look at these and not see the
beauty and extreme love these two have
for one another? How could anyone deny
them thatr" Love is a powerful thing and
it conquers all negativity.
What's your idea of a perfect
wedding?
My perfect wedding would take place
in the fall. There would be a circle of
tall pine trees. And crisp weather. There
would be vows written from the heart,
to make me tear up. Fire pits, blankets,
lots of hugs. Of course, singing at the
top of our lungs, hearty laughter and a
ridiculous amount of maniacal dancing,
too. More importantly, all the people I
love would be in one place, under the
stars, making happy memories. You
have no idea how proud I am of our
country and the strides it has made.
Now I can say that this is no longer
a distant dream, but a reality for me.
( stephgrantphotography.com)
•
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FEATURES/
ROMAN
I
Lawfully Wedded Wiv
author Nona Caspers t
a close look at the instit
of marriage.
ByCygnFogl
us e
FEATURES/
ROMAN
Nona Caspers has plenty to
say on the subject of samesex marriage. Her latest
book, Lawfully Wedded
Wives (co-edited with Joell
Hallowell) might at first
seem like an intimidating
read. Those quaint
buzzwords-institution,
marriage, ceremony,
monogamy-can set a
queer girl's teeth on edge.
EDITED BY NONA CASPERS AND JOELL HALLOWELL
What's interesting is that despite having
literally written a book on marriage,
Caspers understands and even shares
some of these feelings.
She revisited a scene from her youth
as we spoke over the phone, she from her
home in San Francisco-just
a mile from
the Castro. "When I was first sleeping
with women in the early'80s ... I was
wearing orange fishnets, mini~skirts,
painting my face, going to women's
studies classes. I just wanted it all. I did
a performance art piece about marriage
where I had three women in wedding
dresses-this
is in my early twentiessitting on ladders and they had gold rope
coming down from them, so they were
bound, and they were bound to romance
novels and the bible at the bottom. So you
can see, I was an artistic critiquer of those
forms. So this book feels really awkward
to me, to tell you the truth;' says Caspers.
"Now we did an event and it went really
well and I cried and all this stuff and I
was really surprised, but there's always a
part of me that's like, God, it shouldn't be
me on this book. I feel a little bit like an
impostor:'
One thing is made evident in the book;
the concerns and qualms of the individual
melt away in the presence of those
things that loom larger: family, a sense of
responsibility and interconnectedness. In
the intro to Lawfully Wedded Wives,
Caspers talks about an instance in which
her nieces approached her at a family
event and posed the following question:
"Nona, can girls really marry girls?" Her
original response was a resounding: "Girls
can do whatever girls want to do:' But as
she reflected back on that day, Caspers
spoke about the potential impact of
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
55
these stories. "I think about my nieces
and I just think, I don't know, I want the
world to be bigger for them; not big with
emptiness, but big with intimacy, big
with that they can ... feel. Like they can
create and be a participant in their own
life. Whether they're gay or straight, I
don't think it matters; I think this affects
everyone's sexuality-and
everyone's
sense of who they are with love and
romance and coupledom. It radiates our:'
Along with the comfort and security
marriage can offer, Caspers doesn't shy
away from the parts of the institution
that are far from fairy tales. "Some
[women] changed their names because
they lived in rural parts of California
where [they were] public people or
teachers and still now were just like, 'You
know what, I can't be this public with
my lesbianism, with my relationship: So
they changed their names;' Caspers tells
me. "Two couples divorced and then we
had the one divorced woman who had
already been divorced. She's remarried
now. But you know, that's part of the
story, too. I say in the foreword that
queers have the right to move toward
chaos like everybody else [laughs]. OK,
so what? Because people say, 'Oh well,
they're getting married, they're all going
to get divorced; or whatever. I don't think
it matters;' she laughs. "I think it's all
part of it, the right to marry, the right
to divorce, the right to make a big fat
mess out of your relationship. What's
interesting to me is, it's like, chaos is
natural;' she adds.
Caspers' desire to encourage a world in
which anything is possible for her nieces
sets the stage for the book's theme of
family and community.
Many of these stories share a common
thread, an urge to define and to choose,
along with a desire to create dialogue and
context. Esther and Melinda, a couple
profiled in the book, is an example.
Esther, who is half Navajo and half
Spanish, met Melinda, whose mother's
side is from Mexico, in college. For these
women, their respective communities
were a central focus for them in the
conversations leading up to their
ceremony. In the midst of hand~made
moccasins, uniquely crafted family colors
for regalia, and gifted eagle feathers,
they found that the labels melted away;
"Having conversations about, 'OK, here
56
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
we are, we've been this lesbian couple
in this community, nobody really talks
about it that much. Now we're getting
married. For us, marriage is this, so
we're going to have these conversations:
And they've never had them before.
So that's the other thing that I just
found really interesting. That they were
having conversations and creating more
intimacy with their families and their
community. I found that really moving:'
(weddedwives.com) •
Paloma& Sara
It's hard to believe that 2013 marks the
lO~year anniversary of the first U.S. State
to legalize same~sex marriage. In that
same year, Bernadette Coveney Smith
launched 14 Stories, the first company
in the U.S. specializing in planning legal
same~sex weddings. "Same~sex couples
had been having commitment ceremonies
for years;' she says, "but when the law
changed we started seeing amazing, very
powerful and moving legal marriages. It
was very profound to be a part of history:'
Coveney Smith, who lives in New York
City with her wife Jen and their young
son, Patrick, calls herself an activist,
as reflected in the name 14 Storiescoined from the 14th Amendment,
which has been used as the basis for
major civil rights victories throughout
history. Furthermore, it represents the
14 individuals who were plaintiffs in
that very first case in Massachusetts,
which made marriage equality a reality
in that state.
As someone who has worked with
hundreds of LGBT couples Coveney
Smith has multiple stories to tell, many
from couples who never thought they
would see their wedding day. She walks
them through the process with thoughtful
guidance on current trends, traditions
and ways to express themselves. "Planning
a wedding can be a pretty vulnerable
experience, and having someone who is
relatable establishes a solid foundation of
trust;' she says.
And not every wedding has to be
wildly expensive, Coveney Smith explains.
She plans weddings all over the U.S. and
also offers affordable elopement packages,
which have proven to be very popular and
great value. "I start with a blank sheet of
paper;' she says, "and ask a couple, "What
kind of wedding do you want to have?"
The passion Coveney Smith has for her
business is palpable. "One of the many
things that I love is the spirit of joy and
triumph present at our weddings. There's
something mighty and powerful about
the minority celebrating equal rights
and I feel that all of our weddings make
history and change the world:'
But what else makes same~sex
weddings so different? In Coveney Smith's
experience there are several nuances. For
58
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JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
example, fewer couples choose a place
of worship and the wedding parties are
much smaller. She usually plans for the
formal photos to happen before the
ceremony and to avoid the question of,
"Who is walking down the aisle last?"
she creates two aisles with each partner
processing simultaneously. Essentially,
14 Stories honors historic traditions
important to the couple and modifies the
usual gender roles that define straight
weddings. "There are no rules" she says,
"and hopefully no expectations from
friends and family, so I encourage our
couples to be as creative as they like:'
Given that the institution of marriage
has been based on very gendered
functions, it is interesting to see how
same~sex couples are changing the mold
of what a wedding denotes. Coveney
Smith believes that this timeless rite of
passage is an opportunity to symbolize
equality. "Even if Aunt Bess and Aunt
Susan have been living together for 20
years and are beloved by their family,
does anyone really know their
anniversary?" she says. "Well, after
their wedding, people will remember.
Equal weddings actually create a
profound ripple effect, which I believe
fundamentally changes society:'
At print time, 15 U.S. states plus
Washington, D.C. have full, legal,
marriage equality. According to the
national organization Freedom to Marry,
"Over 35 percent of the U.S. population
lives in a state that either has the freedom
to marry or honors out~of~state marriages
of same~sex couples:'
Coveney Smith attests this equality
momentum to the participation of
straight ally wedding guests. It is a fact
that the rights of a minority were never
won without the support of the majority.
As Coveney Smith points out, over the
past decade more and more straight
people have celebrated the union of
their friends and family members and,
"the sky hasn't fallen:' In fact, quite the
opposite happens. They are so moved by
the unconditional love that has survived
in the face of stigma and discrimination,
often 14 Stories weddings are even more
powerful. The guests go back to their
workplace and share, "I went to the best
wedding last weekend ... " and Coveney
Smith concludes, "That is how we change
society:' (14stories.com) •
FEATURES/
ROMAN
You've tried onlinzng,
blind dates,
Happy Hours a/your local lesbian
ba -and M . ·ght still eludes you.
Perhaps you've overlooked a simple but
misunderstood social skill-flirting.
flirting can help you find love and win
a pr0motion at work-so says Rachel
e1 lto, trial a to ey, communications
expert, life coach, matchmaker and, yes,
expert on flirting. The author of the
bestseller Flirt Fearlesslyis dedicated to
redeeming the reputation of flirting, and
using it to achieve your goals in life.
But how can lesbians flirt with finesse,
and not come off looking like Crazy Eyes
from OrangeIs the New Black?
"I think flirting is a way of making
people feel like they're the center of the
universe for however long you want to
give them that honor;' says DeAlto. "It
can be done platonically. It can be done
romantically. It doesn't have to be about
seduction. It can be, but it's really about
connecting on a human level. We've kind
of forgotten how to do that:'
Posting on Facebook doesn't teach
people how to connect. Flirting is one
way of breaking down the walls that
technology has enabled us to put up. It's
"not about a pickup line;' stresses DeAlto.
"It's about connecting with somebody and
making them feel special:'
For same~sex~attracted women, flirting
can be complicated. Certain rules that
have their roots in the socializiation of
men and women may not apply between
two women. As a gender we're already
more relational: Kissing and touching can
be part of a greeting even between friends.
So how do you get the message across
that you are romantically interested in
another woman?
"Women are so much more naturally
connected to each other that it needs
to be stepped up a notch;' says DeAlto.
"But women are conditioned to not be
sexually aggressive: You shouldn't be the
pursuer because you're a woman. So in
the lesbian community there's a condition
that it's about stepping up that game. Let
her know you're interested in her without
saying it out loud. So if you're touching
her on the small of her back, that's
great-but
leave your hand there for a
while. Look into her eyes. Maintain your
60
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
eye contact beyond what's normal for a
platonic conversation. And then ask her
for a drink. There's no harm in taking it to
the next level and saying, 'I'd love to take
you out: Put it out there:'
DeAlto says that lesbians flirt with her
"all the time" and she takes notice, much
like Lady Gaga, who famously says, "I
find lesbians to be way more daring than
straight men, when it comes to coming on
to you. And I really like that:'
"To me, it's all a compliment:' says
DeAlto. "It's a compliment to be thought
to be attractive. But don't come on too
strong. Some people are over~flirts. I'm a
big fan of ramping it up a little bit, but get
to know me, have a conversation with me.
"Telling someone they have a really
great ass or great boobs is taking it over
the line. Telling someone they have a
really great smile, that it lights up the
room-that's
a really nice thing to hear:'
The first rule is to be authentic. "I teach
people to embrace who they are, to make
their own connections in a way that's
authentic to them:'
The danger with flirting is that it is
seen as-and can be-manipulative.
"There are people who use their powers
for evil;' notes DeAlto, "being coercive
with their charisma:' DeAlto cautions
that flirting should not be used just to "get
some:' Flirting requires an investment of
time, and isn't 'Just hit~and~run. A pickup
line is intended to get someone else
sexually interested. When you're flirting
with someone, it's really about making
an actual personal connection. It's about
listening and having a conversation. It's
not about how you look or fl.ashing leg.
It's about finding a shared interest:'
DeAlto is so convinced of the positive
power of flirting that she's bringing it out
of the bar and the bedroom and into the
boardroom.
"There are so many ways that the
flirting strategies I use for my dating
clients work for my corporate clients as
well. I do networking training because
networking is kind of like speed dating,
and being able to present yourself and
find your voice-talk about who you are
as a professional-is almost the same as
talking about who you are as a person to
date. It might not be what some people
perceive as flirtation, but it's really using
or developing your charisma to be better
and more successful in the workplace. It's
the same thing, just a different goal:'
Flirt at work? "I do not condone
making out with people at the Christmas
party;' DeAlto laughs. "That's just a hot
mess. Don't do it! There's a way to get
ahead as a woman, whether you are a
lesbian or not. Women bring a different
perspective and so many values into the
workplace that don't have to be sold
sexually to everybody else. There's a way
to get ahead by connecting with people
without having to flash some cleavage:•
(racheldealto.com) •
Sex and sexuality exp
at it again, but this time
she is not releasing a new
producing and launching
LL OF HER, a high~end
ased on her books Lesbian
: 101 Lovemaking Positi
e Guide to Lesbian Sex. ALL
R will show you
ul and sexy lesbian, bisexual, queer
ge
ormers fucking like porn stars, but it's not
by any means your typical porn film-it's actually an aesthetically
pleasing and sensuous cinematic experience, and, in the words of
one of its stars, Annie Cruz, it's like "making art with sex:'
Last summer, when ALL OF HER was being filmed and I was
granted access to the closed set, I knew from the moment I walked
in that this project was extraordinary. I was watching a full~on
movie shoot at Factory Studios in Brooklyn, with a crew made
up primarily of women, most of whom identify as lesbian, queer
or bisexual. "They were awesome;' says director Jincey Lumpkin,
glowing with admiration.
Schell's company, Her Sweet Spot Productions, shot ALL OF
HER using three cameras, and adding a fourth, overhead in the
lighting grid, for the final day, so that Lumpkin could get the
sensuous shots she's famous for. Schell likes to "perfectly provoke
the viewer's every sense;' and with their energy and harmony the
lesbian~led crew seemed to know exactly what the director wanted.
In Lumpkin's words, "It's about the experience of sex, not just the
physical aspects of it:'
The whole cast loves having sex with women, so Lumpkins mes~
sage to them was pretty simple: "Enjoy yourselves, take your time,
and feel it;' all of which definitely created some magic on the set.
ALL OF HER intrigued Lumpkin from the beginning. She
thinks Schell's books are not only "really beautiful;' but fun as
well. And she shares Schell's elevated erotic vision of female sex~
uality. 'Tm really proud of the visuals we got;' she says.
Schell herself is no stranger to filmmaking, having worked in
the entertainment industry for 17 years, notably with Merchant
111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
VIVA
THE
QUEER
SEX
REVOLUTION
J.S ppho
Thirty sexual trailblazers who have
shaped the way we
view and have sex.
By Cygnus Fogle,
Merryn Johns, Mia
Manns, Katherine
Wright and
Kristen Youngs
Greek poet of
the 7th century
whose poems
expressed love
and desire for
women. The
words "lesbian"
and "Sapphic"
originate
with her.
2. Simone
de Beauvoir
French writer
whose epic
1949 work The
Second Sex
examined the
female gender,
refuted the theories of Freud,
and influenced
second-wave
feminist
thought and lesbian feminism.
3. Susie Bright
American writer,
performer,
"sex pert,"
and sex-positive feminist
pioneer who in
1983 co-founded On Our
Backs, a magazine for "the
adventurous
lesbian."
1111111111111111111111111111111
ieSprinkle
orker turned sex
ate and a key
in the sex-posiminist movemen
the '80s.
5. Felice Newman
With years of experience in sex education
and somatic coaching,
Newman wrote The
Whole Lesbian Sex
Book: A Passionate
Guide for All of Us and
co-founded Cleis Press.
6. Ju eSchell
Author of
best-selling
Lesbian Sex
101, which
lusciously
illustrates and
describes 101
inventive sex
positions for
lesbians.
7. Betty
Dodson
Artist, author,
and sex-positive feminist,
Dodson
pioneered the
electric vibrator as a tool for
pleasure and
self-love, and
has written
many books on
the intricacies
of sexology.
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Ivory Productions. She was an assistant to the producers for the
films Surviving Picassoand In Custody,and the production coordi~
nator and assistant to the unit manager for the New York shoots
of Jefferson in Paris and The Proprietor.In collaboration with the
Academy of Motion Pictures, Schell oversaw the restoration and
re~release of The Masterworks of Satyajit Ray, and coordinated
the production of its theatrical trailer, shooting commentary with
James Ivory, Louis Malle, and Martin Scorsese. Schell also assisted
on the Killer Films indie production of Office Killer, Cindy
Sherman's directorial debut.
Since Schell's books have become best sellers for Random
House (Lesbian Sex has now been translated into four languages),
her decision to make them the basis of a lush film seemed natural.
"It's the evolution of where my books have been going," she says.
Schell's inspiration for Lesbian Sex was the Kama Sutra. When
she discovered that there may have been a Kama Sutra for women,
a pleasure guide whose sensual secrets were lost when the book
was burned, she decided to "re~imagine a whole new book" -and
now a film version, too, addressing the need for sophisticated
erotic entertainment for women by women. Not just to get women
Gibson Glory
Romantic and elegant
women's emancipation
circa 1890, starring April
O'Neil and Sovereign Syre
Les Bon Temps
A kinky New Year's Eve
celebration in 1920s Paris
starring Annie Cruz and
Shyla Jennings
Lingerie by BEXnyc;
Shoes by Pour La Victoire;
Toys by Good Vibrations;
Vintage jewelry by The
Wanderlust Girls
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8. Tristan
Taormina
Featured in
over 200 publications, and
author of seven
books, Taormina
runs her own
adult film
company, Smart
Ass Productions,
as well as a
sex-positive educational website,
Puckerup.com.
9. Carol Queen
Writer of explicit
fiction and nonfiction. Queen
is a worker/
owner at Good
Vibrations,
where she runs
educational
events and
workshops.
10. Nina Hartley
Sex-positive
feminist and
bisexual porn
actor, director
and sex educator, Hartley is
an advocate
of "total sex,"
mature sex, and
authentic lesbian scenes in
adult films.
12. lleneChaiken Cocreator and executive
producer of some of the
most iconic representations
of lesbians in pop culture,
including The L Word.
11.Sh ne Louise Houston
Di~ector and producer for
Pink and White Productions,
Houston's first adult film,
Crash Pad, has become a hit
series, and she's since gone
on to receive awards and
begin other projects.
13. Kate
Bornstein
Transgender
icon, performance artist,
and advocate
ositivtein is
uthor
tion
at
gender
rkbooks and
ueer how-to
uides.
15. Lana Wachowski
Pussy" is a trans
porn pioneer
who along with
Allanah Starr
shot the first sex
scene between a
trans woman and
a trans man.
This writer-directorproducer is an openly
transgender woman
and one-half of the
sibling duo behind the
movie Bound, which
introduced the world
to butch goddess
Cor y (Gina Gershon).
off and "teach them about squirting;' as Schell likes to say, but to
pay homage to the many ways women have sex and perhaps show
them something new that will encourage them to pursue their
vast capacities for pleasure.
The film takes you through 101 lesbian sex positions, so you'll
know just how to try them, and why you might want to-and
includes interviews with the cast, which are fun, flirty and sweet,
and give you an intimate opportunity to connect with the per~
formers as you watch them interact with the books and with each
other, not as "typical" porn stars, but as unique individuals. There
are also educational tidbits of information from outside experts.
"I want to entice, inspire, educate and empower women, as much
as entertain them;' says Schell. Inclusion is also important to
Schell, which is why ALL OF HER provides you with a wide range
of viewing options, whether you're looking for sensual erotica, a
little kink, or something more hardcore.
Director Lumpkin shares Schell's vision of providing women
with a transcendental erotic experience. Lumpkin began pioneering
"cinematically inspired" lesbian porn when she found herself being
more turned on by sex scenes in mainstream movies than by porn
itsel£ In ALL OF HER, Lumpkin brings to life how women actu~
ally have sex, and captures it all with a decidedly "female gaze:' She
captures not only real sex, but the sensual nuances of sex, honing
in on the cast's breathing, and even the sweat beading on their skin.
Castmates Jiz Lee, Ela Darling, Annie Cruz, and Sovereign
Syre all talked to me after the shoot about the amazing time they
had on set, whether it was the professionalism of the crew that
they recalled, or Lumpkin's art direction, or the cinematic expe~
rience of shooting, or the simple fact that Schell's crew was like
one big happy, and often raunchy, family. For some, it made a real
difference in their performance."It was some of the best work I've
ever done;' says Darling.
The positions in Lesbian Sex have witty names like "Lilith and
Eve" and "Riveting Rosie;' and Schell sprinkles historical and
cultural references throughout the erotic essays in The Guide
to Lesbian Sex, which inspired Lumpkin to develop scenes with
what she calls "a sense of legends:' Eight deliciously designed
sets introduce different eras, ranging from ancient Greece to the
1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
pioneers, Bannon
wrote The Beebo
Brinker Chronicles
between 1957 and
'62. The series
became hugely influential in gay and
lesbian literature.
17. Madonna
During the '90s,
gay rights was
becoming a
topic of conversation around
the world, and
society was looking to explore
sexuality in a
non-mainstream
way. Madonna
created the
album Erotica,
exploring sexual
taboos when no
one else was.
18. Marlene
Dietrich
Hollywood actor
and gay icon in
the '30s. She's
famous for wearing men's suits,
singing a love
song to another
woman onscreen,
and for a highly
publicized
series of female
conquests.
19. Bessie Smith
Called the Empress
of the Blues, Bessie
Smith was an influential, woman-loving
jazz and blues voca list of the Roaring
'20s. A queer
African-American
woman, she has exelicit lesbian content
in her
songs.
20. Kat erine Linton is a
ceAtemporary revolutionary
focused on lesbian sex and
identity. She directed and
produced Lesbian Sex and
Sexuality, a LOGO series
that is as inquisitive as it is
experimental.
21. Dr. Lisa
Diamond Dr.
Diamond's book
Sexual Fluidity:
Understanding
Women's Love
and Desire
continues where
Kinsey ends,
positing the important ideas that
sexual orientation
changes over
time and falling
in love is more
about the person
than the gender.
0
Writer-actor Turner
and director-producer
Troche introduced sexy,
edgy, and controversial
lesbian representations
with Go Fish (1994), The
L Word (2004-'09), and
Concussion (2013).
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Sappho Smiles
Lyrical love with a dash of Tantra in ancient
Greece starring Ela Darling and April O'Neil
Modern Love
Gender-bending 1950s role-play starring
Jiz Lee and Sovereign Syre
present day. You'll find a scene inspired by the 1950s and '60s
alongside one based in Paris in the '20s. Then there's my personal
favorite, "Gibson Glory;' set in the 1800s and featuring Sovereign
Syre, who I fell just a little bit in love with, and April O'Neil, with
whom she has some really amazing on~screen chemistry.
The inspiration to look back into history went deeper than the
desire to make a visually sensuous film; Schell and Lumpkin
wanted to create a window into what real sex between women
looked like back in the day-and ALL OF HER offers you the
fantasy of erotic time travel.
Since she'd woven the 101 positions into the film, I naturally
wanted to know which ones were Schell's favorites, in and out of
the bedroom-and
while the lady doesn't like to kiss and tell, she
doesn't like to disappoint, either. "I do enjoy the power bottom of
'Mount St. Helen; and appreciate when one is commanded to sit
on a lover's face for a dip into 'Priscilla's Punchbowl: And I love a
feisty 'Patty in the Sky; if I'm feeling mischievous, or when she's
naughty;' Schell says.
Amazing on~screen chemistry, gorgeous stars, stunning visuals,
and lush sets-all are yours through ALL OF HER, and, frankly,
it's something you really have to see for yoursel£ You won't be
sorry. (allofherthemovie.com) •
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his writer-director is responsible
for the landmark
lesbian film Claire
of the Moon
(1992).Conn is
perhaps most well
known for shooting the longest
lesbian kiss in film
history, in Elena
Undone (2010).
24. Ma Rainey
Known as the
Mother of the
Blues, the
singer became
one of the first
performers to
record the blues,
after she signed
with Paramount
Records in 1923.
Her song "Prove
It to Me Blues"
doesn't attempt
to hide her
relationships
with women.
25. Janis Joplin The bisexual
singer-songwriter captivated
audiences with live performances exuding unbridled
female sexuality and inspired
a generation of sexy songstresses such as Amanaa
Palmer and Peacfies.
26. Phyllis
Christopher In
the '90s, honest
depictions of
lesbian sexuality were rare;
however, photographer Phyllis
Chistopher
recorded the
zeitgeist for
On Our Backs.
Her images,
capture lesbians
embracing their
sexuality in all its
myriad forms.
en Everett
An award-winning
filmmaRer, Everett
has completed
a b<xlyof work
that explores sex,
27. Virginia
self-pleasure,
Woolf Bisexual
and polyamory.
author Virginia
Her most notable
Woolf is one of
film, Women in
the most notable
modernist literary Love, chronicles
a polyamorous
figures of the
experience in
20th century. A
San Francisco at
number of her
famous works fea- the height of the
sexual revolution
ture feminist and
in the '90s.
lesbian themes.
29. Rita Mae
Brown In spite
of the attempts
of second-wave
feminists to
exclude lesbians
from the wornen's movement,
Brown led the
Radicalesbians
(aka the
Lavender
Menace)
and
penned
Rubyfruit
Jungle.
30. Natalie
Clifford
Barney The
American
expat poet was
a lesbian and a
feminist. In her
home on the Left
Bank in Paris,
she hosted a literary salon that
was a gathering
place for
queer artists for
over 60
years.
SOVEREIGN SY
Girl on
The compelling adult screen siren Sove'"!~~~!:~•re
wo an who
knows what she wants-and
goes for it
like baing passive
during sex. I tend to do what I want, unless someone w ngles me,
otherwise I'm going to top the scene;' says Syre, which is exactly what
she did in her scene with queer porn icon Jiz Lee in ALL OF HER,
giving it a rather surprising ending.
Like her castmates, Syre had a great time on the set of ALL OF
HER, loving the crew, atmosphere, aesthetic and the bonus of work~
ing with April O'Neil, made it a"very cool experience:' Syre is now
moving from being in front of the camera to being behind it. With
two girl~on~girl films under her belt she is gearing up to direct two
more, one featuring ALL OF HER castmate Ela Darling.
Syre knew from her first time on set that she wanted to be in the
• ector's chair."! like being in control;' she says. In real life Syre has
a gi iend, and, like director Jincey Lumpkin and writer~produo
Jude S ell, wants to show how wome
of psych logical and emotional realis .
ELADARLING
Beauty
and
Brains
Once upon a time Ela Darling was a reference librarian assistant director with a
Masters in Library Science, but these days
you can find her burning up the screen in
some of your favorite lesbian erotic filmswhich is not all that surprising since Darling
loves books and pussy. Her sensual, savvy
onscreen style combines classic strawberry blond looks with the mission to get off
by turning her partners on. Filming ALL
OF HER was a professional milestone for
Darling. "Jincey [Lumpkin] made me look
the best I've ever looked;' she says."She's my
fairy porn mother:'
Darling was excited by the fact that the
set was loaded with smart, strong women
both behind the camera and in front of it,
so while being 'glamorous and professional;'
the set was alive with an "atmosphere of
positivity:' There was also a sweetness factor-an impromptu birthday party complete with cake and singing. You won't see
that when you watch ALL OF HER but
you will see Darling's super hot scenes with
April O'Neil and with Pepper Kesterand that's a firestorm you don't want to
miss. (darlingela.com)
70
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
ANNIECRUZ
Erotic Artist
"I just love passionate, hot sex. And kissing. I love kissing:' It's all about
chemistry for Annie Cruz-it's the spark that makes a scene really amazing.
When you see ALL OF HER, it's clear that there was plenty of pizzazz in
her scenes-a rough~and~tumble day withJiz Lee, and a private New Year's
Eve with Shyla Jennings-something
she's not shy about. "There was so
much raw chemistry;' says Cruz. Part of that spark was created by respond~
ing to the desires of her partners, and her own, too. "It was a lovely surprise
to be working with women who love having sex with women;' she says.
Filming ALL OF HER was also fun for Cruz, earning a special place in
her heart. "It was one of my favorite sets to work on;' she says. So much so
that she came by to hang out when her friend Ela Darling was filming. "It
was fun to watch it all happen magically before my eyes:' The on~set magic
made it a very atypical experience for Cruz. "It was more like making art
with sex;' she says. (anniecruz.com)
J.A
PROVOCATIV
READS
TO
CURL
UPWITH
The Vagina: A Literary and
Cultural History
by Emma L. E. Rees
In Bed with Claudine
For the adult who hasn't given up on bedtime stories.
BY KRISTEN YOUNGS
Everyone enjoys a good bedtime story. Growing up with tales
of princesses, heroes or fantastic creatures has intrigued or
soothed many a youngster to sleep. But nighttime yarns
aren't just for kids, says Maybe I'll Tell you a Bedtime Story
author Claudine Lanthenay who is on a mission to put a
sexy spin on the traditional late night story, with her white
hot, fun lesbian erotica.
Lanthenay wasn't always an erotic author. After seeing a
post on Facebook for an erotic story submission deadline, the
journalist decided to take a chance, with the idea that the genre
is "such a playful and wide-ranging form." Although she didn't end up
submitting her work to the series, she did send it out to another publishing company.
The spontaneous writer had an ebook contract signed within days.
Success followed with the publishing of Maybe /'fl Tell You a Bedtime Story (available on Kindle). The story follows Toni and Sonia, a lesbian couple who quickly learns
that there is much more to the other than they previously thought. As Sonia walks in
on Toni enjoying some alone time with her computer in bed one day, the two open
up a new sexual world that sizzles with desire.
Lanthenay hopes that her readers "will enjoy the parts of
(7-)Maybe I'll Tell You a
their sex life that engage with fantasy and storytelling" in
a way that they might not have before. In the end, though,
she admits that the story was simply fun to write and
hopes that it, in turn, is equally as fun for people to read.
Next for the lesbian author is two new erotic tales that
will be part of an upcoming anthology published by a
queer writers group that Lanthenay created with a friend.
Look for it to come out early this year and in the meantime,
satisfy that nighttime craving with Maybe I'll Tell You a
Bedtime Story. Although, fair warning, it won't leave you
feeling drowsy. (lanthenaytumblr.com)
ouedt::iJne
Sw~
72
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
This book is not shy. The cover
image of an upside-down book
cracking just a little bit at the
spine is enough to hint at the
book's namesake. The contents
are similarly provocative and
bold, if also fairly academic.
The vagina is examined and
dissected by a number of
disciplines (history, cultural
studies, art, linguistics) and
the result would be a very
in-depth and fairly heavy read
if it weren't for the author's
well-timed interjections throughout of relatable anecdotes, pop
culture references and the
occasional naughty pun.
In The Vagina Reesexamines
the representation of female
genitalia as it appears in literature, visual and performance
art, and film and TV. She writes
about the ways in which the
vagina is made taboo while
it is objectified, and a large
concern for her is the vagina's
"covert visibility"-the ways in
which the vagina is paradoxically hidden and open, and
how we usually manage to refer
to it without saying the word.
Furthermore, the book talks
about the words we use for the
vagina, those we don't, and
those we should.
In an attempt to bring about
increased visibility of the vagina,
Reeswants to get to the bottom of the eradication of the
vagina from the conversations
and settings it should inhabit.
Female genitalia should be
seen, heard about and not
hidden or in any way denied.
-Mia Manns
A Very Civil Wedding
by V.T. Davy
Plays Well in Groups:
A Journey Through the
World of Group Sex
by Katherine Frank
We all have
our own
sexual preferences, desires
and even
fantasies. In
today's society, though,
some of those
acts are more stigmatized than
others. One of these hush-hush
sexual deviations from the
norm is group sex. For many
reasons, group sex is avoided,
but for what reasons? Plays Well
in Groups addresses not only
why group sex is such a stigmatized act, but why people
push the boundaries of societal
rules by partaking in it.
Frank writes the book in a
neutral and purely educational
way, while still keeping the
reader hooked with her witty
voice. Like any successful
anthropologist, Frank has put
herself in many situations and
lived numerous lives, all with
the goal of discovery and
understanding in mind. From
working as a stripper while
studying regular customers to
attending group sex conventions and orgies, the author has
tackled a multitude of taboos
to help readers understand
group sex, who has it, why they
have it, and how it has evolved
over the years. Her use of sociology, biology, anthropology
and psychology explain many
fears, wonders, and worries
behind group sex. Surveys,
research, and interviews all
add to Frank's truly interesting
read. Regardless of whether
you've had even the slightest
interest in anything involving
group sex, Plays Well in Groups
will surely provoke thought and
understanding of a world many
of us will never step foot in.
-Kristen Youngs
·~""'™"'"™'"'~"'°'""
0
The Marrying Kind?
Debating Same-Sex
Marriage Within the
Lesbian and Gay
Movement, edited by Mary
Bernstein and Verta Taylor
As if the fight
for marriage
equality in
mainstream
culture
MARRYING
weren't comKIND?
plex enough,
the issue is
...............................
still heavily
contested within the LGBT
movement itself. It's this internal debate that the various
collaborators of The Marrying
Kind attempt to tackle by asking tough questions including
whether marriage is an institution worth fighting to be a
part of.
Those uninterested in pursing marriage equality argue
that the idea of marriage
equality is just an attempt to
assimilate the queer community
to a heteronormative world,
and is therefore a denial of the
differences that exist. There is
an urge to say, "We're just like
you," but that utterance can
be incredibly damaging to our
identities.
However proponents of marriage equality insist that the
movement is good for activism, bringing about inclusion
and access to all of our rights,
not to mention that some
people do just yearn to get
hitched. Probably the biggest
take-away that Bernstein and
Taylor give us is that a future
in which marriage equality has
been fully realized might look
different from what we expect,
and that the consequences are
certainly worth speculation.
-M.M.
One day,
the heir to
the British
throne could
be gay. For
all we know,
VT. DAVY
this has or
-AVERY
is already
WEDDING happening.
A Very Civil
Wedding, written by V.T.Davy,
puts this idea forth in an highly
realistic way. The story follows
Princess Alexandra, next in line
for the crown, and her partner
Grace Stephens, a Lieutenant
Commander in the Royal Navy.
Both women are out as lesbians
to their friends and family, and
the public catches on to their
more-than-just-friends relationship as soon as they move in
together.
Same-sex marriage is legal,
which leaves conflict out
of that discussion when the
couple announces their engagement. The problem for the two
is getting their union blessed
by the Church-an entirely
different story. The importance
of the blessing is absolute, as
Princess Alexandra will one day
become the Supreme Governor of the Church of England.
Not wanting the marriage to
cause a falling out between
the Church and the Crown, the
British establishment works to
bring solidarity and acceptance
into the picture. Even more
confusion stems from the fact
that a future heir would come
from a sperm donor.
A Very Civil Wedding allows
readers to follow discussions
between various characters
throughout the novel as
they try to find clarity in the
situation. Conversations are
documented in a way that
makes the reader feel as if they
are holding a novel that tells
of a history already passed,
rather than one that has yet to
come. -K.Y.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
73
A Paggion
for
rovence
France's most romantic destination is
perfect for your honeymoon.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
Now that President Hollonde hos signed marriage
equality into low, what better place could there be
to celebrate all things French than in the legendary
South of Fronce, where the sun is always shining
and the wine flows freely! And now, you and your
love con fly direct from New York to Marseille, a
fascinating destination in and of itself-and the
gateway to Provence.
Magnificent
Margeille
Forget Paris! As France's oldest and second most populous city, Marseille has 300
days of sunshine per year, is the gateway to
the South of France, and has all the bustle you would expect from France's largest
commercial port. Founded by the Phoenicians, there is a touch of the sailor about
this city, but if you want a little luxury, the
InterContinental
Marseille- Hotel Dieu,
by Philippe Starck and rates starting from
only 49 euros a night, you can't go wrong.
The onsite bar-restaurant is excellent and
attracts locals with its relaxed bohemian
vibe and tongue-in-cheek decor. Mama
knows best!
The iconic status of Marseille is apparent
when you take a ferry ride to Chateau d'I£
the 16th century fortress that Francois I
built on a small, rocky island to protect this
city. The fortress later became a prison, and
is famous for its role in the 1844 Alexandre
Dumas novel The Count of Monte Cristo, as
the place where the hero is thrown in a dungeon. Today, it must be said, the beautiful
castle, with its artillery towers, drawbridge,
monolithic stonework and stunning views
seems more like prime real estate than digs
on death row!
There is plenty to see and do in Marseille,
from shopping for local soaps and lotions
featuring local Provern;:al herbs such as
lavender, to browsing the waterfront fish
market, to choosing one of many brasseries
to sample the local classic dish, bouillabaisse-a seafood melting pot with a rich
gravy that was once a cheap and sustaining meal created by fishermen from their
unsold catch.
And while we're on the topic of melting pots, there is perhaps no better sign
of Marseille's revival than the fact that it
was voted European Capital of Culture
for 2013, and chosen as the site of the
epic MuCEM (mucem.org/fr), a museum
that takes visitors through an impeccably
curated history of European and Mediterranean civilizations, in all their power
and diversity. Fort Saint-Jean, one of
three buildings that house the museum,
symbolizes Marseille's role as a European capital: A footbridge joins
the massive fort, dating back to the
12th century, to a huge postmodern
cube, and thus the MuCEM figuratively and literally unites past and
present, locals and visitors alike.•
overlooking the Vieux Port and right next
to the oldest district in Marseille, is just
the place for you. On the hotel's beautiful
terrace, you can sip a cocktail at sunset and
watch the hues of the changing sky as you
ponder an evening's adventure-which
need not take you further than this spectacular property, with its two world-class
restaurants, cocktail lounge, indoor pool
and spa.
If the InterContinental is too grand
for your budget, I can also highly recommend the hip-and-happening
budget-priced Mama Shelter (mamashelter.
com/ en/Marseille). With rooms designed
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
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75
Amoroug
Avignon
When you're in Provence, you'll soon
find that there are countless cities, towns,
and villages to experience. But for pure
Provern;:al romance, you cannot skip
Avignon. Stay at the sleek and modern
Novotel Avignon Centre, a 4~star hotel
situated just a short walk from the historic
city center. This well~equipped base has
everything you need, including a restau~
rant and bar built around a patio where
you can relax after a day of sightseeing
that will make your head spin. Avignon
has a storybook appearance: It was the cap~
ital of the Christian world in the Middle
Ages, and the city-on the Rhone River
and nestled within the remains of Medi~
eval walls and ramparts-is
intersected
by winding streets and charming squares
shaded by plane trees.
The crowning glory of this city is the
Palace of the Popes (palais~des~papes.com),
the largest Gothic palace in Europe and
the residence of the obscenely wealthy
and gluttonous sovereign pontiffs during
the 14th century. You can spend hours
wandering around this imposing edifice,
which is now a well~preserved World
Heritage Site, and feel much better about
your own excesses!
To soak up the rich history of Avignon,
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JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
visit the numerous museums, which house
a wide variety of collections-for
exam~
ple, archaeology at the Musee Lapidaire,
fine arts at the Musee Calvet, 20th century
masters at the Musee Angladon. Avi~
gnon is also a festival town, and cultural
vibrancy permeates the atmosphere. No
matter what time you visit, you're likely to
encounter landmark exhibitions, theatre,
opera, and contemporary dance. During
my visit, the female artists Camille Clau~
del (the muse and mistress of Rodin, she
spent more time in Avignon than she did
in her Parisian sculpture studio) and Lou~
ise Bourgeois (who only recently passed
away and is famous for her sculptures of
giant spiders) were receiving an adoring
exhibition in the Grande Chapelle in the
Palace of the Popes, and at the Lambert
Collection.
To feast on the artful produce of the
region, wander through the covered mar~
kets of Les Halles (avignon~leshalles.
com), open six days a week, and peruse
the bountiful fruits and vegetables har~
vested from the region ( do taste the wild
strawberries!); or sample sublime meats,
cheeses, and pastries. This is where
many local chefs stock their larders, so in
the evening, indulge in a quintessentially
Provern;:al meal at a number of fine estab~
lishments such as Restaurant Christian
Etienne ( christian~etienne.fr),
situated
in the heart of the old city. This master
chef welcomes you to sup on his season~
al menu in a magical ambience. For an
equally refined repast, La Mirande is a
hotel, restaurant, tearoom, bar, chef's ta~
ble, and cooking school all housed in an
18th century-style mansion at the foot
of the Palais des Papes. The impeccably
restored building has a relaxing, refined,
and romantic atmosphere, and the restau~
rant offers gourmet organic and biody~
namic Provens:al cuisine (la~mirande.fr).
A day in Provence is not complete with~
out lunch in the impossibly picturesque
countryside, and for this there is no better
setting than Le Verger des Papes, in Cha~
teauneufdu~ Pape (vergerdespapes.com).
Here, as you sit on the stone terrace un~
der the distinctive umbrella and Aleppo
pines and take in the scent of wildflowers,
you will truly appreciate the flavors of the
region, along with the relaxing landscape
for which Provence is famous. Afterward
(to keep your wine high going), stop off at
Chateau la Nerthe (chateauneu£com) for
a tasting of quintessential Cotes du Rhone
wines.•
w
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Photos (Clockwise from top left): Medieval
ramparts on the Rhone River; Palace of the
Popes; cafes in leafy villages squares; Papal
performance; a mistral city on the confluence
of two rivers.
.35
0
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
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77
The playground of stars, jetsetters, and
beautiful people, Saint-Tropez is worth
the splurge to elevate your own romantic
union to immortality. This charming seaside town was originally a fishing village
perfectly situated on the sparkling coastline of the Cote d'Azur. Today, it offers
many opportunities for couples in love to
stroll hand-in-hand along the touristy but
charming harbor with its nouveau riche
luxury yachts and wander the laneways in
search of souvenirs, such as the sandales
Tropeziennes-simple
but elegant handmade leather sandals (rondini.fr).
If you'd like to bed down with Bardot,
stay at the Hotel de Paris Saint-Tropez
(hoteldeparis-sainttropez.com),
a glitzy
and modern new hotel near the waterfront. The urban-chic decor by Sybille de
Margerie is dazzling yet strikingly tasteful.
The lobby bar looks like a movie set, and
is the perfect spot for people watching.
Raise your head to stare directly into the
bottomless rooftop swimming pool! My
room incorporated the vivid colors and
fluid lines of the Swinging Sixties, (don't
be surprised if your bathtub and your bed
are round, and the walls are decorated
with gorgeous portraits of Bardot herself!)
but elegantly reimagined for contemporary tastes.
Another, even more iconic, option for
accommodation is the historic Hotel Byblos (byblos.com). This sprawling, grand
Mediterranean fantasia was built by the
owner in 1967 to lure Brigitte Bardot into
lingering poolside. Bardot may not have
materialized but countless other glamorous guests did, and Byblos retains the
glamour of Saint-Tropez in its heyday,
when sexy power couples such as
Mick and Bianca lounged, dined,
and partied the night away. •
XL Airways offers direct flights from New York
at reasonable prices for the summer season:
xlairways. fr
To learn more about the region,
contact the following official tourism offices and agencies:
France Tourism Development
Agency: franceguide.com
Avignon Tourist Office:
avignon-tourisme.com
78
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JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
Saint-Tropez Tourist Office:
ot-saint-tropez.com
Marseille Tourist Office:
marseille-tourisme.com
Go Gay in Provence: A good
resource for what's on for girls, and
gay-owned and gay-friendly accommodations: gay-provence.org/en/
MARKtT
Trip OuU
wtththe2013
Damron Women's Traveller
Women's resorts, bars,
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•
giving those who have
worked hard their whole
lites a good home
REhabilate
nursing those who are
m1ured back to full health
facebook.com/lotlrescue
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
2014
CURVE
79
A "Fresh"Start
Capricorn energy, Mars in Libra and retro Venus
lead us astray in love. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)
All eyes are upon you this
winter. Will you gracefully
bound onto center stage
and charm the masses or will
you work behind the scenes
quietly honing your political
intrigue? No matter what you
decide to do, the spotlight will
find you, Capricorn.
Savor some savory foreign
fare this winter and see where
travel adventure can lead you.
Taurean Bulls can become too
sedate and predictable. But
now, you are tempted to try
something or someone new.
The secret to your success will
be to expand your personal
borders and see life from a
new angle.
Start your new year by
continuing the festivities of
the past year. Find any excuse
to party hearty at any and all
events you can gate crash. You
never know which tall drink
hanging by the bar will quench
your thirst. Keep yourself open
to the possibilities, Virgo and
remember that love is where
you find it.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
CAPRICORN %
(Dec. 23-Jan. 20) %
%
Queer Capricorns %
are careful and politic %
communicators. They are %
%
not gossip hounds and
%
are generally able to keep %
secrets, although they have %
been known to use these %
%
tasty morsels to their own %
advantage later on. Her %
little black book has a list of %
%
skeletons in various closets %
so don't stab her in the %
back Remember, girlfriend %
%
A doormat she is not %
%
AQUARIUS %
%
(Jan. 21-Feb. 19) %
Expect your Aqueerian %
woman to be surrounded %
%
by unusual and unorthodox
%
girlfriends from all walks of %
life who they seem to attract %
through their various groups %
%
and causes She is fairly %
cutting edge in appearance %
herself; "Blending in" is not in %
%
her game plan Who is that %
momma with enough body %
piercings to set off airport %
%
security? Chances are she is
%
an Aqueerian %
%
%
Charlene
Lichtenstein
is theauthor %
of HerScopes:
A Guide
to Astrology%
forLesbians
(Simon& Schuster)- %
%
tinyurl,
com/HerScopes,
%
Nowavailable
asanebook. ~
80
CURVE
JANUARY/FEBRUARY
Love will have its secrets,
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
dramas and mysteries this
winter. Don't be surprised
Aqueerius.
Geminis will be in the
epicenter of any "wilde" orgy
this winter. Plan your schedule
accordingly. Not only will
you have more than your fair
share of fair shares, but you
will be a sought after partner
for whatever crazy antic tickles
your fancy. Will you be able to
temper your imagination so that
you don't overdo? I doubt it, but
that will be part of the fun.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20)
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
if you have an admirer who
becomes a bit of a stalker or
an ex who wants to rekindle.
Uncomfortable? Not really.
You can handle any of these
potential scenarios with
aplomb and grace. Sticky
situations are your forte
Girlfriends want to get into
your act. Let them. They are
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
Libras may find any excuse to
stay close to home, improve
their surroundings and
consolidate their personal
holdings. So make your bed,
cocoon and get snuggly with
you-know-who that can lead
to who-knows-what.
But also
consider expanding your
sphere beyond the familiar
to give things a certain flair
and flirtation.
Relationships will have
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
filled with great ideas that
are designed to get you off
their excitements, secrets,
confusions and various ups and
downs this winter. Needless
your words will pack an
the couch, out of your boring
to say, life will be extremely
unintended emotional punch
routine and into new exciting
platonic circles. Don't be
interesting and you will have to
this winter. Be very charming
be on your toes to balance the
needs of lovergrrls with those
of other family members. Try
and think carefully before
you say what is on the top of
your mind or at the bottom
to escape the mayhem with a
romantic interlude.
of your heart. Unfiltered
provocative thoughts can
up to the possibilities Guppie
and make some probabilities.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23)
upend your landscape.
Maybe upheaval is part of your
If someone piques your
curiosity around the office,
plan, Scorpio?
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Your hard work is about to be
recognized this winter, lambda
you will be compelled to
explore further. Curiosity
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
Ram. But no sooner do you
impress the powers-that-be
may kill the cat but you can
risk one of your nine lives on
with your professionalism
than you risk it all with a
this particular lady, proud
surprised if you find yourself
deeply immersed in a project
or set in a new life direction
because of it. Open yourself
risky (but impressive) office
dalliance. Try to keep your
sweet tooth in check while
bonus season beckons and
promotions are possible.
2014
Lioness. It will not only enliven
your dull workday, it might
also lead to something more
permanent. Certainly more
permanent than any day to
day job nowadays.
No matter how you say it,
Emotional binge spending
may make you temporarily
feel better but will not be a
long-term balm. So if you are
seeking comfort, try it in the
arms of a bosom buddy rather
than in a shopping mall. In
fact, Sagittarians with an itch
can find a range of lovelies to
help scratch it.•
get you rs today.
curvemag.com
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