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Description
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ToC A Wealthy Lesbian Life (p18); Aisha and Danielle Moodie-Mills (p20); Style with Pride (p38) Special Career Section: Out & Proud (p45); Cover: Model Behavior - A Model's Memoir (p57); Butch Pride (p64); Lesbians on Broadway (p66); Brandi Carlile is Back! (p68).
See all items with this value
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Pride Issue
See all items with this value
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issue
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3
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Date Issued
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May-Jun 2015
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Format
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PDF/A
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Publisher
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Frances Stevens
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Identifier
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Curve_Vol25_No3_May-June-2015_OCR_PDFa.pdf
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extracted text
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CURVEMAG.COM
74470
80539
Together we'll go far
© 2015Wells Fargo Bank,N.A. All rights reserved.Member FDIC.ECG-1246278
MAY/JUN
2015
FEATURES
18
A WEALTHY LESBIAN LIFE
Money maven Luna Jaffe has
some tips and tricks for getting
rich. By Gillian Kendall
20
AISHA AND DANIELLE
MOODIE-MILLS
The Washington power couple
shares the secrets of their
success. By Marcie Bianco
38
STYLE WITH PRIDE
Our gayest time of the year is
not just about rainbow colors!
From makeup to fragrance,
here are some lesbian movers
and shakers with fashion sense.
~3
SPECIAL CAREER SECTION:
OUT&PROUD
A selection of out and amazing
lesbian and queer role models.
By Lyndsey D'Arcangelo,
Merryn Johns, and Lisa
Tedesco
37
MODEL BEHAVIOR
The multi-talented model
reveals all in her moving
memoir. By Merryn Johns
6~
BUTCH PRIDE
Comic Julie Goldman heads to
Seattle for their Lesbian Pride.
By Sarah Toce
66
LESBIANS ON BROADWAY
Light the lights for Fun Home.
By Lauren LoGiudice
68
BRANDI CARLILE IS BACK!
And happier than ever! By
Kelly McCartney
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
1
MAY/JUN
2015
44
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
IN EVERYISSUE
4
EDITOR'S NOTE
6
CURVETTES
8
FEEDBACK
11
THE GAYDAR
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
TRENDS
REVIEWS
10 LES LOOKS LIKE
Meet lesbian pin-up psychic,
Julie Ann Miller.
26 MUSIC
Kate Pierson of the fun, queer
pop band the B-52s has
gone solo, and has lots to
share about music, love, and
her sexual fluidity. By Kelly
McCartney
12 BEAUTY
Organic, natural, lesbiandesigned products from W311
People.
14 LESBOFILE
What's new and noteworthy
with our favorite celesbians.
VIEWS
16 POLITICS
Pride is a time to reflect upon
the history we make in the
struggle for equal rights.
But lesbians continue to be
overlooked in LGBT history. By
Victoria A. Brownworth
34 FILM
Crazy Bitches is that rare thing
in indie cinema: a lesbian
horror-comedy. Meet the cast
and director of this cult lesbian
classic. By Lisa Tedesco
22 LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Michelin-rated chef Melissa
King shares her favorite things
inside and outside of the
kitchen.
Relationship advice from our
trusted butch-femme duo.
24 OUT IN FRONT
Meet our community leaders.
PALACIO
2
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
30 BOOKS
Washington D.C.insider Terry
Mutchler comes out with
her political and personal
revelations in her new book.
By Victoria A. Brownworth
24 IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT ... LGBT news from across
the country. By Sassafras
Lowrey
36 FOOD
44 GIFTS
Make it a happy and colorful
Pride with these rainbowinspired items.
Flying the Flag
A
re you a patriot:' Do you feel proud at Pride:' The modern
national flag is a fairly recent concept-dating
from the
17th century. But in ancient times, flags symbolized not just
countries, but many things: leaders, clans, guilds, towns,
castles, ships. Anything a group could rally around. Colorful streamers
were carried into battle. An white flag meant surrender-and
still does
today. A flag was, and is, a symbol of intent and allegiance, especially in
conflict. Capturing a flag in battle means victory. Burning a flag is a sign
of revolt or protest. Many countries, including much of Europe, Asia,
and the Middle East, outlaw flag desecration. Flags of the United States
are sometimes symbolically burned, but despite the fact that the sight of
Old Glory or even the Confederate flag going up in smoke makes some
people uneasy or outraged, a ban on flag burning has yet to be passed by
the U.S. Senate.
In March of this year, Cameron Mayfield stole a rainbow flag from a
lesbian couple in Omaha, Ariann Anderson and Jessica Meadows-Anderson. After taking the flag, which hung outside their home, Mayfield
set it on fire and waved it in front of their house, in full view of its occupants and neighbors. Was this a prank or a hate crime:' Was Mayfield
just drunk and disorderly, was he expressing "symbolic speech;' or was
he terrorizing his neighbors:'
The Andersons, who married in Iowa, believe that the act was motivated by "intolerance and hate:' While they have since replaced the
flag, they were shaken by the incident. "The intent really does make the
difference. Watching him run toward our house with our burning flag,
seeing him stop and wave that burning symbol of a controversial and
inherent part of our being as a minority-in
front of our house as a
clear message-that
made it scary;' they told a local TV station. "That
made it an attack, as opposed to a prank:'
As the progress of LGBT equality gradually reaches the Midwest,
what might have been seen as a drunken prank is now more likely to be
considered something criminal. The Douglas County Attorney's Office
has said that Mayfield's initial charge of arson was aggravated by its
being a hate crime, which could make the charge a class 4 felony.
The rainbow flag has been in use as a symbol of Gay Pride since
the 1970s, its importance increasing after the assassination of Harvey
Milk. It has more in common with ancient flags than it does with the
modern national flag-uniting
a diverse group of clans to battle for
their safety and survival, and expressingjoy in that unity. Its design was
inspired, some say, by Judy Garland's "Over the Rainbow;' and while
I have never been a flag fancier mysel£ the Omaha incident has given
me newfound respect for our community flag. 'Tm so over it" is not a
phrase that will leave my lips this Pride.
As our out and proud cover girl Patricia Velasquez-the
first Latina
supermodel-says, "We still have so much more to do in terms of tolerance. I see challenges as opportunities. I feel there is a reason why we
gays are going through this: It's going to make us stronger, closer, and
more unified as a community:'
Happy Pride!
~z
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
merryn@curvemag.com
._
__UP__,RONT!CURVETTES
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
MAY/JUN
2015
LESBIAN
» VOLUME
MAGAZINE
25 NUMBER
3
PUBLISHER Silke Bader
FOUNDING PUBLISHER Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
EDITORIN CHIEF Merryn Johns
SENIORCOPY EDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Melanie Barker, Kathy Beige,
LISA TEDESCO
LAURENLOGIUDICE
Lisa was born and raised in Connecticut before heading out west to film school in San
Francisco at the Academy of Art University.
Upon graduation she moved back to her
home state and pursued a second degree
from Southern Connecticut State University
in Media Studies. An avid lover of women's
film and television, she aspires to one day
create her own lesbian-themed web series
or feature film (currently in the works). She
will be wed to her fiancee, Amy, in October
of this year. This issue she interviews slam
poet Andrea Gibson and the team behind
lesbian indie film Crazy Bitches.
Lauren is a writer/performer based in NYC.
Acting credits include Veep, All My Children,
When Harry Tries to Marry, Flick's Chicks
and the upcoming gay romantic comedy
Beautiful Something. Lauren's solo dramatic comedy, Queens Girl, toured worldwide,
and her second solo show, Garbo Dreams,
performed throughout NYC and is now touring college campuses under Campus Pride.
A storyteller and comedian, Lauren's writing and performance has been featured by
the New York Times, Backstage, BBC, NY1
and others. This issue she writes about Fun
Home on Broadway. (laurenlogi.com)
Marcie Bianco, Victoria A. Brownworth, Gina Daggett,
Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Sheryl Kay, Gillian Kendall, Dave
Steinfeld, Jocelyn Voo
PROOFREADERAmanda Keeling
EDITORIALASSISTANTSLisa Tedesco, Cora Shaye-Pope, Angela
Randall, Micheline Tawilian
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONS Jeannie Sotheran
ADVERTISING
NATIONALSALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ART DIRECTOR Bruno Cesar Guimaraes
SOCAL MEDIA
MANAGERBel Evans
INTERNSLucy Doyle, Erika Tamm, Lex Giggs
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Jenny Block, Kelsy Chauvin, Jill Goldstein,
Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall, Kim Hoffman, Francesca
Lewis, Charlene Lichtenstein, Sassafras Lowrey, Kelly
McCartney, Emelina Minero, Laurie K. Schenden, Stephanie
Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson, Rosanna Rios-Spicer, Stella &
Lucy, Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Steph Brusig, Meagan Cignoli, Melanie Dornier, Sophy
Holland, Syd London, Maggie Parker, Diana Price, B.
Proud, Robin Roemer, Leslie Van Stelten
CONTACT INFO
Curve Magazine
PO Box 467
New York, NY 10034
PHONE(415) 871-0569
FAX (510) 380-7487
SUBSCRIPTIONINQUIRIES(800) 705-0070 (toll-free in us only)
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ADVERTISINGEMAIL todd@curvemagazine.com
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LETTERSTO THE EDITOREMAIL letters@curvemagazine.com
MARCIE BIANCO
LYNDSEYD'ARCANGELO
Marcie is a staff writer at Mic.com and has
contributed to AfterEllen, Feministing, The
Women's Review of Books, Iris Brown Lit Mag,
HBO's Girls: Questions of Gender, Politics
and Millennial Angst, Lambda Literary,
Huffington Post, and makes frequent appearances on Huffington Post Live as an
expert on feminism, gender, and sexuality.
She is completing a memoir about lesbians
in academia, and a collection of feminist
essays. This month she interviews genderqueer model Rain Dove and black LGBT
trailblazers Aisha and Danielle Moodie-Mills.
Follow her on @MarcieBianco.
Lyndsey is a freelance writer and an
award-winning author from Buffalo, NY.She's
also a sports junkie and a baggy-clothes
wearing tomboy who isn't afraid to blog
openly about her experience as a stay-athome mom for CurveMag.com. Her latest
publication is the children's story/activity book, Maggie's Adventure: I'm Going
Over Niagara Falls In A Barrel, out in May.
For Curve she has previously interviewed
Megan Rapinoe, Brittney Griner, Fallon Fox,
and for this issue Olympic rower Ginny
Gilder and trans mom of the year Meghan
Stabler. (lyndseydarcangelo.com)
Volume 25 Issue 3 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published 6 times
per year (January/February, March/April, May/June, July/August,
September/October,
November/December)
by Avalon Media,
LLC, PO Box 467, New York NY 10034. Subscription
price:
$39.90/year, $39.90 Canadian (U.S. funds only) and $69.90
international (U.S. funds only). Returned checks will be assessed
a $25 surcharge. Periodicals postage paid at San Francisco, CA
94114 and at additional mailing offices (USPS 0010-355). Contents
of Curve Magazine may not be reproduced in any manner, either
whole or in part, without written permission from the publisher.
Publication of the name or photograph
of any persons or
organizations appearing, advertising or listing in Curve may not be
taken as an indication of the sexual orientation of that individual or
group unless specifically stated. Curve welcomes letters, queries,
unsolicited manuscripts and artwork. Include SASE for response.
Lack of any representation only signifies insufficient materials.
Submissions cannot be returned unless a self-addressed stamped
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Subscription Inquiries: Please write to Curve, Avalon Media LLC.,
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curvemag.com
6
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
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__ -__. RONT/ FEEDBACK
Didn't the perpetrator know
you're a lesbian?) Rapists and
pedophiles do not discrimi~
nate! People need to give more
support to women who have
found themselves in situations
of powerlessness, and not
always look at it through a
sexual lens. Thank you for this
article. - Name supplied.
INSIGHT INTO ABUSE
I was thankful for your article
on child sexual abuse ["Break~
ing the Silence;' Vol.25#2]
and want to thank the author
for so bravely coming out
and sharing her experience.
It doesn't matter what your
sexuality is-sexual assault
is not something you deserve
or attract. It is not about
what you wear, how smart
you are, how you act, or who
you know. It is not about sex
at all-it is about power. I
have always been a lesbian
and I am a survivor of rape,
which is something not a lot
of people understand. (How
could you have been raped?
GabrielaSanchez,Miami FL.
NOT YET EQUALLY WED
I love the "Happily Ever After"
snapshots in the Feedback sec~
tion of your magazine. I'd like to
request that you run more sto~
ries like this except longer and
with lots of pictures. My wife
and I wanted to get married in
our home state of Michigan last
year and we feel cheated that
we couldn't. Marriage equality
is an important movement,
and a right that every [same~
sex] person in America should
have, if they so choose. I believe
by showing images oflegally
wedded lesbians we strengthen
that movement and help change
hearts, minds, and eventually
laws. - Name withheld.
BODY BEAUTIFUL
I appreciated the Editor's Let~
ter ["Body Love;' Vol. 25#2],
which mentioned skinny
shaming. I have had similar
body issues my whole life. I
mostly shop at the "Juniors"
section in department stores
because women's sizes just
don't fit me. It's depressing
to feel like a whole woman
on the inside but to not be
treated like one on the outside.
I am sick of people asking me
"Don't you eat enough?" or
"Why don't you have a sand~
wicht or"Do you throw up?"
I liked all the articles in this
issue, which made me feel that
we are acceptable no matter
what size or shape we are. -
APi;~:;
;::~~~;:;~~:~;~;:~:;••••••
•,••••
IWHAT
:·.:1·1
~!~}:;;
11
over all that
~~~I;~~:;~::~:::
Ii
'.~~::'.:~:;'.'.:'.'.:'.,
:::u:se :: : : .. : : : : : :: . . : :: : : : : : :. . :
WRITE
Curve magazine, PO Box 467, New York, NY 10034
letters@curvemagazine.com
US! 510.380.7487
curvemag.com/letters
Send to:
Email:
Fax:
8
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MAY/JUN
Online:
2015
,II
Subscriber Services are now available at
curvemag.com/customerservice.
✓ subscribe
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~1BEST
:::.:_!!PIACESTOWORK
~
for LGBT Equality
PICKS
»
PRODUCTS»
»
PEOPLE
The self-described"pin-up
psychic" is full of Pride.
ON WHERE HEART AND HOME LIE:
ON DISCOVERING HER PSYCHIC
I live in Lake Arrowhead, in the
Southern California Mountains.
It's a small, tight-knit community, and even though it is very
conservative, my family and I
feel very much at home here. It
doesn't hurt that it's absolutely
beautiful! I am married to my
amazing wife, Jodi Miller, a.k.a.
the Bug Girl. She's an arachnophobic exterminator who just
fills my life with so much laughter. I have two sons, fifteen and
twelve, both very sweet, unique
and silly beyond belief. We currently have two dogs and a cat,
but we are always opening our
home to animals in need. They
are at the center of our lives.
GIFT:
I've seen things that others
cannot
see since
I can
remember. As a kid, I could tell
my mom who would be calling and why. I also saw spirits,
but those experiences mostly
terrified me. And I'd just know
things would happen before
they did. It felt like there was
something wrong with me,
so I hid this part of me away. I
graduated high school at 15
and sought a very rationally-driven life course, which
included graduating with three
Bachelor's Degrees and a
Master's Degree by the age of 21
when I began teaching political
philosophy at a local University.
I wanted a "normal" life.. When I
was going through my divorce
with my two young boys under
foot, I met my Jodi. She walked
into a local ice cream social fundraiser with this air of confidence
that made me crazy. That's when
it all began. She was the one
to help get me over my fear of
the spirit world and to embrace
myself wholly and completely.
I gave up an executive career
to become a psychic medium. I
call this my second coming out.
I am a lesbian psychic medium and that gives me a unique
perspective on life. I use my life
experiences
and education,
paired with my spiritual gifts, to
help people overcome obstacles on the path to achieving
happiness, love, and peace.
ON HER PIN-UP IDENTITY:
I've always been obsessed with
the World War II era. From an
early age, I began reading historical texts on the war and the
culture at that time. The iconic feminist image of Rosie the
Riveter signified the tremendous
influx of women entering the
workforce. So, to me, my pinup look represents the strength
and beauty of women. I'm a
girly girl, but all of the saws and
tools in my house are mine. I
just love breaking stereotypes!
(julieam.com)
TRENDS/
THE GAYD~R
p
I
!~e~ o~~y~~wRone? Let our gaydar help
~ you decide who's hot, who's not, who's
~ shaking it and who's faking 1tin lesboland.
~
BY MELANIE BARKER
~
Irene Marmott, board
member of New York's
venerable Women's
National Republican
Club, founded by
suffragists, allegedly
says lesbians are not
welcome at the club
The UK's Channel 4
continues its history of queer
programming with Shorts:
The Black lesbian Handbook,
a series of short on line films
about the black lesbian scene
in Britain
Kelly Clarkson isn't worried
if her daughter River Rose
grows up to be a lesbian,
saying "As long as she's
happy, I don't care"
A&E's thriller The Returned
sizzles with hottie Sandrine Holt
(The L Word, House of Cards)
and her ex played by Agnes
Bruckner (Breaking the Girls)
The ignorant,
transphobic
treatment of
Bruce Jenner by
entertainment
media during
Jenner's
transition
Phylicia Rashad
plays civil rightsfocused gay black
woman Georgina
Howe in the CBS
drama For Justice
directed by Se/ma's
Ava DuVernay
It's one direction
for 22-year-old
supermodel Cara
Delevingne and
it's girls, girls, girls
Is this VOGUE's
first lesbian
cover? Karlie
Kloss and Taylor
Swift play the
maybe morethan-friends thing
for all it's worth
Harley Quinn has a
lesbian tussle with
Poison Ivy in #15
of the DC Comics
series
Tig Notaro hosts the
GLAAD Media Awards in
Los Angeles. Next stop the
Oscars?
Life after Glee for Jane
Lynch, who plays the
guardian angel of another
woman in CBS pilot Angel
From Hell
Star Wars series novel Lords of
the Sith features a lesbian-
identified character named Moff
Mors (more muff?). The force is
with us!
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
11
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CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
I
I- I
I
----------
--and
~
------..__
Freedoffi
commitment ----'-go hand in hand.
/
Key West Womenf
September 10 - 13
womenfest.com
TheFloridaKeys
Key~st
Close To Perfect - Far from Normal
Nost GOSSIP
SAi
RUNWAYREVELATION
After
years of
playing
coy, Patricia
Velasquez, hailed as the world's first Latina
supermodel,
revealed in her new tell-all
memoir that she's a lesbian-and
we all
have comedic legend Sandra Bernhard to
thank for it.
The pair met by chance backstage at a
fashion show, and though Velasquez had
never heard of Bernhard before, there was
enough spark that they went home together that night-a
first for the Victoria's Secret
and Sports Illustrated model. And despite
HIP HOP HONEYS
Historically,
black lesbians in hip-hop
initial denial of her attraction to another
have either veered more towards the R&B
female, it wasn't long before Velasquez
sound (a la Meshell Ndegeocello), or have
stopped resisting. "I was deeply in love with
been mum about their sexuality (ahem,
Sandra," Velasquez writes, "in a way I'd nev-
Queen
er experienced before."
seems like black female rappers are possi-
Unfortunately the memoir lacks partic-
Latifah).
Nowadays,
it
bly rounding a bend when it comes to being
ularly juicy details of their time together
out and proud-not
(why, why?), but the model summarizes the
lives, but in their music too.
end of their relationship succinctly: "I cried
though,
While Angel Haze openly
lnstagrams
for two years over Sandra."
kissy photos with girlfriend Ireland Baldwin,
Well, now, who wouldn't?
she shies away from expressing her sexu-
MARTINA FOR THE WIN
Over the past few years, we've seen
St. Vincent
only in their personal
CARA'SLATESTCOUP
If you've been wondering
who super-
ality in her music, telling The Independent
model and top girl crush Cara Delevingne
last year that she "like[s] to make my work
would date after she and actress Michelle
ambiguous so that people can relate to it."
Rodriguez called it quits, wonder no more:
come
Rapper and Sisterhood of Hip Hop reality TV
it looks like indie singer-songwriter
Brittney
star Siya, on the other hand, isn't afraid to
Clark, better known by her stage name St.
Griner and U.S. Olympic soccer midfielder
do the latter: her entire song "Real MVP" is
Vincent, has snagged her heart.
Megan Rapinoe. But some, like tennis leg-
an homage to her girl.
a slew
of
out publicly,
professional
athletes
like WNBA center
end Martina Navratilova, feel that more
gay athletes should come out-not
Annie
The pair first met in December, but
In fact, Siya notes that her sexuality
stepped out publicly for the first time at
just
isn't even the main issue these days; it's
the Brit Awards this past February, and later
to improve their life, but also to improve
her masculine image. "I would do record
were spotted taking in a show in New York.
their game. Navratilova, who married her
label meetings and they would say, 'You're
"Cara and Annie were super lovey-dovey," a
longtime girlfriend this past December, ac-
so dope! You're so different!' but then they
source told Us Weekly. "They slow danced at
knowledges there are differences between
would ask, 'Can we put you in a dress? Can
the end of the show and at one point, shared
solo athletes and team sport players. Still,
we femme it up a little?"' she tells VH1. "And
a chair and were hugging and kissing."
"the fact that I came out affected me ... I
I'm not willing to change who I am for any-
As if that weren't enough, Delevingne's
was able to play better tennis and become
one, not what I look like, not what I dress
newest tattoo is none other than the simple
the person that I am," the 58-year-old ath-
like."
letters "AC."
lete told NDTV Sports. And really, who could
Some may call this baby steps, but
Four months in and already a tattoo of
argue with someone who's won 59 Grand
it's a small victory in the right direction.
your lover's initials? This is one hot couple
Slam titles?
Preach, ladies!
we've got our eye on.
14
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
TRENDS/
SHEs
"I mean, let's face it, I was
homophobic. I still catch myself
once in a while getting a little lurch
in my gut... because you grow up in
this environment ... We're in the 21st
century. It's very different... It's still not
safe. It doesn't feel safe all the time."
- Billie Jean King on In Depth
With Graham Bensinger
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
15
The Ilerstory Pride Archives
Why recording our lesbian history is important.
BY VICTORIA
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A. BROWNWORTH
Mine is the first post-Stonewall generation oflesbians, the first to be out publicly
in significant numbers. In recent years,
there has been a lot of revisionist history
about Stonewall, in large part because our
individual lesbian history is often muted
or erased. The Stonewall Veterans-the
men and women who were actually there
at the Stonewall Inn in 1969-are getting
old and dying out. And those of us who
are historians worry that not enough has
been written about them to keep them
alive for younger generations.
The person who led the Stonewall Rebellion, the first step in the modern LGBT
rights movement in America, was a lesbian-Storme
DeLarverie. As was reported
from the New York Times to the Los Angeles Times when DeLarverie died-just
weeks before Pride last year, on May 31,
16
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
2014, at the age of 93-she
claimed to
have thrown the first punch, igniting the
days of rage that led us to where we are
now. Since that night, she has claimed
her rightful place in American and lesbian history, always stating proudly what it
meant to her to do so.
Storme DeLarverie is our lesbian hero,
yet I recently had to explain who she was
to a young lesbian who had never heard
of her. The narrative this young woman
had heard about Stonewall was not factual. Lesbians weren't in the story. We are
in danger of losing the connection to our
lesbian past because so few of our stories
have been told, and women are aging and
dying, their stories locked inside them,
lost to us forever.
Like so many lesbians who have transformed our lives and our world, Storme
DeLarverie is being elided from our cultural and social history-a
history that
does not have to be rewritten by men.
We can tell our own stories. We can carry
them with us and we can pull them out to
share with our lesbian sisters.
I learned in my college women's studies
courses that we can write our own stories,
which opened up a new world of women's
achievements to me.
We can record and collect all the bits
and pieces of our lesbian history, as I
learned from Joan Nestle, who co-founded the Lesbian Herstory Archives in
1974. The Lesbian Herstory Archives is
now a small museum in Brooklyn devoted
to our lesbian lives and nothing else.
Pride is more than a concept or a good
excuse to party: It is, fundamentally, a
force of our social and cultural history.
"THtRt
ISNO
ON[TO
R[CORD
OUR
HISTORY
BUT
OURS[lV[S.
AND
I~WtDO
NOT
R[CORD
THAT
HISTORY,
WtAR[IN
DANG[R
0~B[ING
tllD[D
~ROM
IT.~ORtVtR."
''
It is about more than parades-although
Storme DeLarverie rode in a 1960s baby-blue Cadillac convertible at New York
Pride for years, the "Stonewall Lesbian"
without whom the Pride parades might
never have happened.
But shouldn't her name be known
throughout our community? We all know
who Harvey Milk is. Why isn't Storme
DeLarverie equally famous?
As Nestle said to me on more than one
occasion, there is no one to record our history but ourselves. That is what we need
to remember as we celebrate Pride this
year: We have a responsibility to future
lesbians as well as to these brave women
who paved the way for us, the foremothers of our movement, to tell our stories, to
collect and record and revisit our history.
If we do not, it will leave us less and less to
be prideful about as our singular lesbian
history-vibrant,
distinct, and oh-so-essential to our fundamental knowledge of
who we are as lesbians-becomes
conflated with that of gay men, bisexuals,
trans persons and straight people. Even
in 2015, decades after Stonewall, our lesbian lives are often misrepresented after
we die-we are rewritten as straight or
bisexual, questioning or trans. We are often no longer lesbians when others write
our stories.
So it is crucial-imperative-that
we
write our own.
Who was DeLarverie-other
than the
bravest person among the many brave
people outside the Stonewall Inn on June
28,1969?
Born in New Orleans in 1920 to a
wealthy white father and a black mother, a woman who had worked for him,
Storme DeLarverie has been referred to
as "the gay community's Rosa Parks:' She
was a butch lesbian who loved womenloved spending all her time with them. A
singer with a smoky, silky, get-you-intobed voice who performed at the legendary
Apollo Theater and at Radio City Music
Hall, she was also a handsome drag king
who was the only male impersonator in
the Jewel Box Revue-the
first integrated
drag show in the U.S. in the 1940s.
DeLarverie was a bouncer at the legendary Cubby Hole lesbian bar in New
York City, and until 2005, when she was
85 years old, she was still a bouncer,
at New York's best-known lesbian bar,
Henrietta Hudson, protecting lesbians
from the curious men who were always
eager to invade lesbian space.
DeLarverie was a fighter for lesbians. A
lesbian icon. A part of our collective history. A woman who said she'd been bullied
and beaten in the segregated South and
was not going to be bullied and beaten on
the streets of New York City.
In 1987, African American filmmaker
Michelle Parkerson made the short film
Storme: The Lady of the Jewel Box. The
film interpolates Parkerson's interviews
with DeLarverie at her home in Chelsea
with archival clips from DeLarverie's past.
Parkerson's film is itself a jewel in which
DeLarverie sparkles.
Sam Bassett, a New York photographer and filmmaker and a longtime friend
of DeLarverie, made the documentary
Storme in 2008. He said the continuum of history was essential and noted,
"Rosa Parks equals Storme DeLarverie
equals Martin Luther King equals Barack
Obama equals our united future:' Bassett
said of DeLarverie before her death, "She
is so rare, a beautiful butterfly. But like all
beautiful butterflies, they are delicate:'
So is our lesbian history-delicate,
ephemeral, easily lost to us. This year as
we celebrate Pride, we must all take responsibility for loving each other enough
to hold on to our history, to remember
that our present is the next generation's
past. Our lesbian past is the foundation
for our lesbian future-we
must embrace
it just as Storme DeLarverie embraced
her lesbianism, with pride fierce enough
to start a movement. •
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
17
Lesbian
Dollars and Sense
According to Luna Jaffe, lesbians can use resourcefulness
instead of resources to build a life of plenty.
BY GILLIAN KENDALL
Luna Jaffe is in love with money. And
she wants to share the love with her clients,
especially those who don't think they're
good at managing their own finances.Jaffe, a
financial planner who lives with her partner
in Portland, Ore., says that her profession
puts her in touch with a whole spectrum of
people, including many lesbians.
To coach and advise them, Jaffe uses
skills from her earlier lines of work-she
was a fine artist and a therapist before be~
coming a certified financial planner-to
help clients take a creative approach to
money. She says, "I see women choosing
to be more resilient, even if they're living
on a minimal income. I teach clients to
use their resourcefulness instead of their
resources to build a life that has more
18
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
plenty in ir:'
For example, Jaffe describes Megan, a
client from Texas,* "who's operating as if
she has a fair amount more money than she
does. I told her she couldn't afford to draw
down on the accounts she has by more than
$5,000 per year, because if she did that she
would be out of money by the time she's
72. That didn't make her feel good, but it's
actually motivated her to say,'OK, I do have
to keep working, because I want to go the
Michigan Womyn's Music Festival this year:
I'm going too, so that means I have to work
extra days before I go and extra days when I
get back.
"Megan made a good choice. She's learn~
ing where she's willing to compromise and
where she's not. Giving up the Michigan fes~
rival was not a choice she was
willing to make. Instead, she
decided to sublet her apart~
ment and move in with a friend
for six months, to save that ex~
pense and have more freedom.
She had that ability to make
choices and act on them.
"But putting her head in
the sand and saying, 'La la la,
I'm going to the festival on my
credit card' would not have
been a good idea. That kind of
thing is very common, but it's
not fiscally responsible.
'J\nother couple was just
here-one is 61 and her part~
ner is 54. They're both su~
per~fit. They weigh about 100
pounds each and they bike
lO0~mile races together. One
of them, Bree* is a vet with a
large animal sanctuary, and she
wants to retire in two years.
Her partner, Barbara*, is really
attached to the working world,
but they've both talked about
wanting more time to be together, and to
be doing things together that are not about
the rat race. So I did some projections to see
what would happen if they both retired in
five years, and it turned out that they could
both live very comfortably. Bree was a lit~
de stunned. She said, 'Really? I could stop
working in a few years?' I told her that not
only could she stop, but the projections
show that if she lived till she was 100, as
long as Barb didn't live to be 120, she'd have
several million dollars left!
"So I get to play both sides. For some di~
ents, I get to say,'You don't have to work for
the rest of your life; and with other people I
have to say,'You're not being realistic about
your money. You have to make choices:"
Along with coaching clients who want
to increase their wealth, she also encourag~
es those who want to become resourceful
without using money. She says, ''I've seen
some success when women become en~
trepreneurial with their homes. Air B&B
is one of the best ways to do that. I've also
seen people sharing or swapping houses.
For example, I have some friends who have
a half acre of land around their house, and
so they invited their neighbors to garden in
their yard. They all work on it together, and
they all harvest it together. They want to live
v1Ews1AD
with great food:'
won't open up, and then you'll be missing a
lot of the juiciness of doing the work, if you
Does everyone need a financial advisor or
planner:' "Honestly;' Jaffe says, "most people
don't feel that you can be vulnerable.
"People ask me, If you're in the LGBTQ
could benefit from it, if they were willing to
community, shouldn't you work with somemake it a value and put their money into it.
In other words, it's like asking, Do you in- body in the community:' My answer is that
it's less important to work with somebody
vest in your own wellness program:' Most of
us would benefit from taking excellent care who is in the community than it is to work
with someone who understands the comof our bodies through both fitness and numunity. There are some very good planners
trition, though some of us need that more
than others, because some of us are natuout there who are straight, but who really
rally more fit than others. And the same is get it, and are aligned with the LGBTQ
community. To me, the question is: How
true for money. We all have a body, and we
well do they understand the issues that we
all have a relationship with money.
have:' If they get it, then good!"
"First, though, let's make the distinction
Some of the issues specific to gay wombetween a financial advisor and a financial
en, Jaffe says, include the complexity of how
planner. A financial advisor usually is going
lesbian relationships begin and end. Until
to work with you only if you already have
recently, we haven't had the legal structures
assets to manage. So, typically, you can hire
that have been available to straight coua financial planner to develop your financial
ples. So the joinings and endings can be
literacy, as well as get a clear picture of where
very messy.
you are, where you want to go, and how you
want to get there. There's also a money
''An interesting thing is happening now
coach, who helps you become accountable.
that [gay] people can get married. There's
a bit of a rush to get married, without an
A coach is a good choice for somebody who
has no assets and is trying to get
to a [different] place, whether you
are getting out of debt or just navigating the day-to-day, month-tomonth, dollars-and-sense stuff."
Receive Money with Grace - Money
Finding the right financial
comes into our lives in many ways, but do
consultant takes time and efyou ever stop to think about how it feels
fort, Jaffe says. "The best way is
and what impact those feelings have on the
to ask for referrals from people.
inflow of money? Shifting your attitude and
So you call a minimum of three
awareness in this arena can dramatically
[potential advisors] and have a
change the flow of money in your life.
conversation, asking: How do
you work with people:' What is
Spend with Intention - In the world of
your background:' Why do you
electronic banking and credit cards, it's
do this work:' And always ask
hard to feel connected to the money you
how they're paid. Anybody who
spend. Recognize triggers for unconscious
dodges that question should be
spending and replace old habits with new,
eliminated from the list, because
healthy, sustainable actions so that more
it's important.
of your money is nurtured, grown, and
''After you've asked those quesprotected.
tions, had those conversations,
when you leave that office, do a
Nurture Your Nest Egg - This mandate
body check and note how you
implores you to take stock of your past
feel in your guts, because a lot
assumptions about saving and investing so
of times people are very condeyou can create ways to keep your tuckedscending, or they talk over you, or
away money warm and growing.
they make you feel judged. Even
if their words aren't judgmental,
Give with Guts - Examine your patterns
you might have a feeling of havof giving, the underlying emotions, and
ing been judged-and
you don't
the impact your giving has on you. This
want to work with that person!
It's just not a safe place, so you
understanding that you have to get divorced if you don't stay together. So I like
to talk to people about how those choices
impact their money.
''Another challenge for lesbians is about
beneficiaries, being clear about what you are
doing with your legacy. We might not necessarily want to just pass everything along
to family, because family hasn't always supported us. But if you don't do estate planning, if you don't pay attention to whether
your beneficiary designations are named,
you may be giving to your family only because you defaulted on that responsibility.
"People have the opportunity to be charitable with their beneficiary designations. If
you' re single, for example, and have no kids,
is there an LGBTQ organization that you
are particularly fond of:' Why not support
it, why not put your money back into the
community that has been benefitting you or
has worked toward things you care about:"'
(lunajaffe.com). •
*Names have been changed
LUNA'S
LAWS
mandate inspires sustainable giving
practices that align with your values
and gives you permission to care for
yourself while also serving the world.
Protect Your Wild Places - Know how
to respond to a personal financial crisis
and be prepared for the unexpected.
Protect your income, assets, and family
by understanding insurance products
and estate planning. Assess what
areas need to be shored up and how to
prioritize competing needs.
Grow Your Gold - No one would plant
a garden with only one crop because
it's risky, not to mention boring.
Yet, many do exactly this with their
portfolios. Shift out of fear and into
curiosity and learn how to plant, tend,
and prune your investments.
From Wild Money: A Creative
Journey to Financial Wisdom by Luna
Jaffe (Fortunity Press 2013)
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
19
VIEWS/TWO
OF
in public during daylight hours-didn't
our photos. At that point we were still
actually occur for a few months, but in
gushing over the wedding and were eager
press Pause. We are constantly looking for
reality we've been attached at the hip since
to share our story and photos with anyone
ways to elevate the conversation and our
the night we met.
who wanted to listen.
community through a variety of platforms.
ONGETTING
MARRIED
DANIELLE: Thousands of people
AISHA: After the first two or three years,
commented and liked the post, and to my
HOW
THEY
RESOLVE
DIFFERENCES
we had pretty much assumed we were
surprise 90 percent of the comments were
AISHA: Two passionate women who
going to spend our lives together. Marriage
also about the beauty of the event, gushing
are highly opinionated, and God forbid
at that time wasn't an option for us in
over the brides, the decor and accessories,
hormonal at the same time, are bound
D.C.-though we were later instrumental
and the "pretty" of it all. The fact that so
to disagree. And we argue as fervently
as we love. My undergrad degree just so
DANIELLE: For us, there is no time to
Change waits for no woman!
in securing marriage equality in D.C.-but
many people ultimately got wrapped up
we had decided to become domestic
in who we were and the beautiful party
happens to be in psychology, so we also
partners. Besides that, getting married
we threw, rather than what we were, was
overprocess and overanalyze every damn
was not a huge imperative for me. I didn't
telling. Everyone can relate to love and
thing to death. As Danielle's Jamaican
grow up attached to the fanciful princess
glamour. Pretty pictures say more than a
people would say, both the charm and the
fairytales of a big white dress and a crew
thousand words or protests.
chafe of being in a lesbian relationship is
of girls lined up around me in taffeta
that we "chat too much"!
dresses. But, oh, Danielle did! She was
ONLIFE
INWASHINGTON,
D.C.
definitely the more traditional of us and
DANIELLE: We find politics incredibly
DANIELLE: Yes, we fight, but I think the
very much expected a proper proposal,
intoxicating-each
years have really proven a great teacher
of us came to this city
replete with the asking of the parents for
because we believe that we can make a
to us-we fight a lot more effectively and
her hand in marriage, and an epic wedding
difference and that our voices are only as
thoughtfully now, and have learned to
and reception. And I delivered. In our fifth
limited as our desire to be heard. After
understand each other's languages and
year together something came over me,
the outpouring of love and positivity
needs a lot better now than we did 10
sparked by training for and running my first
we received upon sharing our photos,
years ago.
marathon with Danielle, and I knew I was
we realized there was an incredible
ready. And in true Aisha fashion, I spent six
opportunity to bring up other issues,
months literally obsessing over-make that
beyond marriage, that are affecting LGBT
ADVICE
FOR
WOMEN
WHO
WORK
AND
LOVE
TOGETHER
people of color. Frankly, we were tired
AISHA: Strive to be true partners,
of hearing and seeing white affluent gay
committed to and invested in each other's
"researching"-the
perfect diamond for her
and staging the moment.
men have conversations about "their
interests, hopes, and ambitions-especially
DANIELLE: I never felt that being a lesbian
rights," and yet no one was talking to or
career ambitions. When Danielle and I
was going to stop me from creating the
about the people who are most adversely
read our wedding vows, which we had
life I had imagined for myself since I was a
affected by discriminatory policies-
written separately, we found that both of
little girl-the
LGBT people of color, especially black
us had made declarations to always share
characters might be different
but the commitment to love each other
lesbian couples living with children.
in each other's dreams, and to dream big
and to build a family would be the same. I
So, we started the Fighting Injustice to
for each other. That has been everything
love that my wife said running a marathon
Reach Equality Initiative at the Center for
to me, and the foundation of how we are
made her propose-well,
American Progress, the largest progressive
able to climb and strive, and expand our
a couple that
works out together stays together! We
organization in the country. Through our
profiles. We always come back to a sense
trained for six months and I do think there
work and Aisha's strategic leadership over
of shared purpose, that when one rises, we
is something about working together
the initiative, we have been able to bring
all rise, and that's what drives us forward.
toward an enormous goal and learning to
conversations about the policies affecting
It's important to always maintain the
lean on each other that can set you up for
LGBT people of color from the margins of
perspective that each partner's success is a
marriage, so I'm glad I convinced her to
our society into the mainstream.
brick in the foundation of the
family's legacy.
run with me-and we've been "on the run"
ever since.
ONWORKING
TOGETHER
AISHA: I find that being a team makes the
DANIELLE: It's important to hold each
ONTHEIR
ESSENCE
MAGAZINE
WEDDING
SPREAD
work easier and more fun. Danielle and I
other up and be invested in dreaming BIG
work on most things together-it's
together-everything
AISHA: That moment was truly
invigorating to be able to exchange ideas,
in the kind of legacy we want to leave
transformational for us in that it really
strategies, and tactics, and "manifest" our
behind-we
opened our eyes to the power of images,
vision together. The constant challenge
matter. So, my advice is to find what
and the power we have to change hearts
is balancing work while nurturing our
matters to you collectively, as a unit, and
and minds and shift culture through media.
marriage. We have to make a conscious
keep coming back to that truth. And,
We were connected to Essence by GLAAD
effort to turn off the business and turn on
above all else, honor each other, always!
and asked if we were interested in sharing
the romance.
(moodiemills.com). •
really
for us is steeped
want our life and work to
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
21
Penis Alert
any of this, babe. You're freaking out be-
How to deal with a dose of dick envy.
cause you're making this all about you. Your
BY LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
ego is, like, "Whoa! I don't have a wiener,
Lipstick: You need not be threatened by
so she's going to leave me!" What you need
to do is chill out. Sexuality is never wrong.
It's not something one should feel shame
Dear Lipstick & Dipstick:
Help! My soft butch fiance, Jesse, is looking at penis pies
on the Internet and watching blowjob porn. I found out by
looking at the history on my computer and was horrified.
According to her, she's a total lesbian, but this is the second
time I know of that she's done this. She has told me that she
in no way, shape, or form wants to become a man, so it's not
penis envy. What should I do?
-Jealous of the Jewels
about. It should be celebrated, no matter
whose it is or what it looks like. And it's
never cut and dry. We're all a little bisexual-even the butchest dyke, the nelliest
queen, the straightest tobacco-chewing
truck driver, or the most prudish missionary-style housewife. Getting turned on by
a little peen is no big whoopie. Lots of lezzies, including yours truly, get off on seeing
a little cockadoody or gay porn. Kinky is in!
Dipstick: Oh Lipstick, why is it that so many
dykes are turned on by gay men getting
off? I've never understood it.
Lipstick: Are you telling me you don't get a
little woody when you see hot boy-on-boy
action? I find that hard [ahem] to believe.
Dipstick: Once. But I was with a girlfriend.
I'll never forget how assertive she became
in the bedroom after watching two hairy
wrestlers steam up the sauna. Regardless,
like you, Lipstick, I do think the femme
fiancee has nothing to fear. This butch babe
is like most women-if
they're honest-and
is simply having a fantasy or two about
what it would feel like to have a temporary
appendage. Let Jesse indulge her fantasy
in peace. Fiancee, now that you know she
has this proclivity, I can think of an amazing
honeymoon treat you can surprise her
with ...
Lipstick: Don't keep us hanging, Dip!
Just because your girl doesn't want to transition, she still might be green-eyed with
penis envy. Doesn't everyone wish they had
a pork sword, even just for one night?
Dear Lipstick & Dipstick: I need some
couples advice. Recently, my girlfriend Julie
broke up with me. She said that she needed
to do what was best for her. This was not
the first time she'd broken up with me. The
very next day after our previous break-up,
I messed around with another girl. Julie
came back and we have been trying to
work through this: Both of us feel differently
about the situation. I feel as though I was
22
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
VIEWS/
pushed away and, being that I was single,
you're not at fault here-you
what I did was OK. She feels that if I truly
a breather. What Julie needs to realize is
were taking
loved her I wouldn't have been able to
that your fooling around with someone
mess around with someone else. Am I the
else was probably BECAUSEyou were in
only one at fault here? What can we do to
love with her, not an indication that you
get past this?-We Were on a Break!
weren't. You were dumped and you were
looking for a distraction from your pain.
Dipstick: Lipstick, do you remember that
People do it all the time. What concerns
Friends episode where Ross and Rachel
me most about this is how manipulative
have the same argument?
Julie is being and how she's not willing to
take any responsibility for her own actions.
Lipstick: Totally! The one where uber-sen-
She just wants to blame everything on
sitive Ross, after Rachel tells him they
you! Obviously, you can't undo what you
need to take a break, gets drunk and
did. Maybe, in hindsight, you'd have acted
sleeps with that cute copy girl?
differently if you'd known she was going
to take you back. I say, if Julie truly loved
Dipstick: That's the one. And insecure
YOU, she would try to see your point of
Rachel never let him forget it. Like Ross,
view on this and move on.
Lipstick: Preach, Dip! Julie dumped you,
Breaker, don't forget that. It was rebound
sex and you were looking for a little
comfort, a little reassurance, a little heart
"Wt'Rt
All AllTTlt
BIStXUAl-rVtN
THt
BUTCHtST
DYKt.
lOTS
0~ltZZltS
GtTO~~
ON
SttlNG
AllTTlt
COCKADOODY."
salve. You don't tell us what YOUR chronic
relationship issues are, but I assume that
being dumped over and over again is be-
coming one of them. Julie needs to grow
out of her insecurities and realize that she
can't have you both ways.
Do you have a burning
''
question for Lipstick
& Dipstick? Write to
ask@lipstickdipstick.com
LIPSTICK+DI
PS
st
PROFILE
INC.ASE
YOU
l\fISSED
IT ...
~
-
Wendy LaChaunce
Ona Mission24/7» Florida
Today, fear isn't a big part of Wendy LaChaunce's
everyday life. But it wasn't always that way. In 1989, when
>-
z
e
she came out to her family, the best she could do was to
try not to show it.
THE
REV.
ANN
KANSFIELD
OF
THE
"Although it was a pretty big deal to me, it was not
a big deal to anyone else," she says. "The big thing for
Greenpoint Reformed Church in Brooklyn, N.Y.,has become the first openly lesbian chaplain-and the first
woman-to be sworn 1nas a chaplain of the New York
City Fire Department. Kansfield, who was drawn to the
seminary after the attacks of 9-11,will be one of three
Protestant ministers, three Catholic priests, and one
Jewish rabbi serving New York City firefighters.
me was, now I had told them, there was no more hiding
anything from them: I knew without a doubt that their
love for me was unconditional."
And that love set LaChaunce on a worldwide course of
community service, embracing the weakest and sickest
among us-a journey she is still on today.
By day, LaChaunce is a registered respiratory technologist, inspired in this work by her mom, who was a
registered nurse. But by night, and in most of her other
ANEW
STUDY
FROM
free moments, LaChaunce volunteers her time (and pays
the UK's Human Fert1l1sat1on
and
Embryology Authority shows that
from 2003 to 2012 there has been a
fourteen-fold increase In the number
of babies born to lesbian couples
In the UK who used IVF treatment
The study shows that almost a
thousand lesbian couples underwent
IVF treatment In 2012 (the most
recent year for which statIstIcs are
available), and that In the 10-year
period 2003-12, 1,388 children were
born to lesbian couples util1z1ng
IVF treatment Researchers believe
that the number of children born to
lesbians In the UK Is even higher, as
the study dousn't account for the
single lesb1an-1dent1f1ed
women who
used IVF treatment to conceive
her own way) to travel around the globe doing medical
missionary work. From a remote village on the Amazon
River in Peru, to small communities in several African
countries, LaChaunce has worked with drug addicts,
alcoholics, HIV patients, and victims of rape and sexual
abuse, helping each individual by offering any support
she could provide. She's formed bonds of immeasurable
strength.
LaChaunce recalls meeting a woman in Uganda who
was overwhelmed that LaChaunce had traveled such a
long way to help African women. It was she herself who
was honored, LaChaunce told the Ugandan woman, and,
in parting, handed her a small gift.
"Before my grandmother passed, she asked me to
find a good home for her cross," recalls LaChaunce. "I
could not think of a better person to share the spirit of my
grandmother with than this beautiful Ugandan woman."
WHEN KRISTAAND JAMI
Overseeing the Outreach Pillar at her church,
LaChaunce has also participated in many local volunteer
endeavors, from hosting youth and LGBTevents, to coordinating clothing and back-to-school giveaways.
"If we open our eyes, take a moment to see, listen with
our ears, hear what others are saying, then we can make
a difference in our own little world," she says. "People
forget that we only get one go-around in this life. I choose
love. It's just as simple as that:' By Sheryl Kay
24
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
~
~
~
~
Contreras, a lesbian couple In
M1ch1gan,took their six-day-old
daughter, Bay Windsor Contreras,
for a scheduled first vIsIt to her
ped1atric1an,Dr Vesna Roi, another
doctor from the pediatric group told
them that Dr Roi had decided she
wouldn't treat the infant Dr Roi's
colleague reported that she had
"prayed on" the issue and decided
she couldn't treat a baby with
lesbian parents Nearly four
months later, Dr Roi wrote the
Contrerases a letter stating,
"After much prayer following
your prenatal [v1s1t],I felt that I
would not be able to develop
the personal patient doctor
relat1onsh1pthat I normally
do with my patients" Such
d1scrim1nat1onagainst LGBTQ
fam1l1esIs legal In Michigan
CHILD
WELFARE
OFFICIALS
In the state of Nebraska have
announced a change In the twodecade-old policy that barred
gay and lesbian couples from
becoming foster parents Moving
forward, the state of Nebraska will
not take into cons1derat1on the
sexual orientation of 1nd1v1duals
seeking to adopt or foster
children Meanwhile, a lawsuit
on behalf of three same-sex
couples who were not allowed
to adopt children or obtain foster
care licenses continues The
couples are represented by the
ACLU, and the state Is defending
its ant1-LGBTQpolicy In court
By Sassafras Lowrey
"Asimply
stunning
coming-of-age
story:'
(:
Planet
London
IMAGJ•:+NATIONFIIJIFl:SI'
This beautiful drama from Monika Treut
deftly unfolds the coming-of-age
of
rebellious teen Alex. Sent away to a horse
farm in the country, Alex keeps up her bad
girl ways but is gradually enamored with the
horses - and with the resident lesbian riding
instructor, Nina. As Nina tries to help Alex find
purpose and maturity, the arrival of
privileged young equestrian Kathy presents
new challenges as Alex grapples with her
longing for love and connection.
German with subtitles.
~
Wolfe
'
>ECLAL.JURYMENTION~
lllHECTOltMONIKATREUT,
\LTOILsCECI
semiITZ-CIIUH
AND ALISSAWILMS
-
"Subtle
andstartling"
AherEl/en
"Heartfelt"
Image
Out
This high-energy romantic road movie co-stars the beautiful
Sinha Gierke (It's Not Over) as aspiring law student Lucca,and
the stunning Verena Wustkamp as her new friend Valerie.
Irresistible chemistry blossoms between them as the two
women embark on a wild adventure to
deliver the ashes of recently deceased
friend Herma to her final resting place against the wishes of Herma'sfamily.
"Aquirky
romance
drama:'
Autostraddle
_,..
i
A Girl W-ho Roams
The B-52s' iconic Kate Pierson goes solo.
BY KELLY MCCARTNEY
t's hard to believe that the B-52s will mark their 40th
anniversary next year. With one of the most recognizable voices of her generation, a voice that floats atop
some of the best classic novelty songs in all of music,
Kate Pierson, a founding member of the B-52s, long
ago carved out her place in the pop pantheon. If she-and
the B-52s-never
again recorded new music, "Rock Lobster;'
"Love Shack," "Roam," and "Deadbeat Club" would be their
lasting legacy. Luckily, even with all those credits to her name,
Pierson is far from ready to retire. In fact, she recently released
her first-ever solo album, Guitars and Microphones, an adventure she has long wanted to undertake.
I
26
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
"I tried to do one about 12 years ago. I wrote a whole solo
album and recorded some of it, even did a little tour with Sara
Lee and Gail Ann Dorsey," Pierson recalls. "So, I was ready to
do it, but then the B-52s started Funplex and I got caught up
in that, which was all-encompassing:' When the band did take
one extended break from their touring schedule, Pierson filled
the gap with NiNa, a project that trekked successfully through
Japan in 1999, but the album was never released in the U.S.
All along the way, Pierson says, "I kept writing and doing my
own stuff. It all brought me to this point. It's all good. I guess
the time is now. The planets are aligned and here I am:'
One of the "planets" that are now in lucky alignment is a
REVIEWS/MUSIC
friendship-turned-collaboration
with Sia, the Australian singer-songwriter whose work can be found all over the Billboard
charts. Pierson's partner, Monica Coleman, suggested that she
ask Sia to help get the solo project going.
"She gave me a big jump-start because she started writing
for herself with her different collaborators and she wrote three
songs, right off the bat, for me;' Pierson explains. "After that,
we went on writing sessions together with Dallas Austin and
Tim Anderson and Nick Valensi and Chris Braide. And we
just got a great song every time. It was like magic.
"Sia taught me a lot about a different kind of songwriting,
which is just more ... with the B-52s, we'd go into a sort of
trance with a jam. This was more like forming the lyrics to the
melody, instead of trying to think of them at the same time.
Even though I had lyrics, those were kind of retrofitted to the
melodies:'
The first melody released off the new set is "Mister Sister;'
a song about gender identity, which Pierson approaches with
an absolute understanding and embrace of the issue, because
it's one that's close to her heart. "My friend Allen, also known
as Tangela, we used to do shows at Wigstock, and we always
used to call each other Mister Sister," Pierson says. "And
I thought it was a great metaphor for gender fluidity and I
wanted to write a song about a young boy-or
it could be a
girl-who
had gender dysphoria and wasn't liking what they
saw in the mirror. Just that kind of power of transformation-
becoming who they wanted to be and being accepted for that:'
The idea of "becoming who they wanted to be and being
accepted for that" has always been part of Pierson's-as
well as
the B-52s' -very queer sensibility. It's just that now the rest of
the world seems to be catching up. "It's a very accepting time.
Thank goodness things are changing;' Pierson notes. "Now, finally, things are changing for trans people. I think that issue
is important now and is kind of the final frontier of acceptance-giving
trans people their rights and their recognition:'
Pierson applies that philosophy of becoming and acceptance
to her own life, as well. So, in 2003, when she fell in love with
Coleman and became what she calls "a late-in-life lesbian;' she
just went with it. "I think it was easy, because for me gender
was always kind of fluid. I'd always been with men, but when
I met Monica, it just seemed like, 'Wow. This is it: So it just
seemed like a very fluid transition for myself, too;' Pierson
muses. "I didn't even feel like, 'Oh, I have to come out: It was
just a natural flow:'
Shecontinues,"Peoplealwayssaytheywerethelasttoknow,or
that kind of thing. But I heard Alan Cumming talking about-I
really am bisexual, I guess-but
he said it's important to him
to say gay, because it gets into this whole question of 'What
are your' And people think of it as this sort of hard line that's
drawn. To me, it wasn't like, 'Wow. I've been looking all along!'
Or something like that. To me, it was easy. Love is love to me."
(katepierson.com). •
REV1Ews1MUSIC
HOT
LICKS
))BYKELLYMCCARTNEY
Daphne
Willis
Live
toTry
(Pleoge
Music)
From the fun-loving pop of 'The Big Picture" to the blue-eyed soul of "Every
Step" to the retro bop of "Stay," DaphneWillis has crafted an impossibly eclectic,
yet thoroughly cohesive set with her new Live to Try. On some cuts, Willis pulls
off soulful pop like a proud musical sister to Jason Mraz. On others, her lineage
reaches out to encompass the likes of Paloma Faith and, in a stretch, Justin
Timberlake. The kid can sing, no doubt about that. And the whimsical production
of Live to Try is perfectly befitting of the playful melodies, leaning into funky and
slipping into slinky when it needs to. There's nothing heavy about this collection.
It's just feel-good music for hanging out with friends and laughing... a lot. One
spin through "You Make Me Wanna" proves that fact and all but dares you not
to bop your head.
ltVE
toTRY
daphne wiLLis
Missy
Higgins
Oz
(Eleven)
For her fourth studio outing, Australian singer/songwriter Missy Higgins has
chosen to pay tribute to the music of her homeland. Among the 15 tracks are
cuts by Paul Kelly, the Drones, the Blackeyed Susans, the Go-Betweens, and
Slim Dusty. But, much like Joan Osborne did with the soul classics of How Sweet
It Is, Higgins all but disregards the original renderings and translates these tunes
into her musical native tongue - pretty. It's a lovely album if taken on face value
and within the contemporary context of Higgins' catalog. Indeed, not knowing
the historical sources or past performances of these songs might well serve
and simplify the listener's enjoyment of them written out in Higgins' smooth
hand. For others, though, Higgins' rounding of the once rough and ragged edges
may cut a bit too deep. Either way, it's hard to deny that it's a bold and beautiful
tribute made by a very talented artist.
Garrison
Starr
The
Forgotten
Street
(One
less
Traveleo
Music)
So many artists think they need 10 songs in order to make a record so,
inevitably, about half of them are good and half of them are ... not as good.
That, however, is not the case with Garrison Starr's The Forgotten Street.
Though only five cuts long, this short-form release takes the listener on a
beautiful journey. From the title on down, the EP's first track, "Halfway
Whole," is one of Starr's best-ever efforts. (And she has some pretty stellar
tunes in her catalog.) Tender and melancholy, though not at all hopeless, it
begs questions and leaves plenty of room for answers to come on their own
terms. The song is so stunning that everything that follows has to struggle out
of its shadow, but the other four cuts step up to meet the challenge. In fact,
"In the Silence" and "Closer My Love" both come very close to matching the
perfection of "Halfway Whole."
28
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
The love they shared came with
secrecy, political intrigue, and
heartache. Terry Mutchler tells
her story in a new book.
BY VICTORIA
A. BROWNWORTH
T
erry Mutchler never expected to write a book
about her dead partner. But then Terry Mutch~
ler never expected, when she was only 32, that
Penny Severns, her partner of the past five
years, would die of cancer at the peak of her
career as an Illinois state senator and while Mutchler herself
was in law school.
"I had to write the book;' she told me in an interview on a
bright spring day in Philadelphia, where she is now an attor~
ney at a prestigious law firm. "I had to write it because I was
afraid I would forget Penny. I was afraid I would forget all
our stories. It was," Mutchler says, "grief therapy. I was afraid
I would forget this incredibly beautiful woman I was deeply
in love with:'
Mutchler met Sen. Penny Severns when she was a young
reporter. Their love affair was intense, and within weeks they
were living together. In secret. Because in 1993, there was no
place for them to be out and still have their chosen careers.
That same year, I became the first out lesbian with a newspa~
per column in a daily newspaper. That's how different things
were then.
"This story is a very personal story," Mutchler explains, as
we discuss how young lesbians were just being born when
30
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
she and Severns were liv~
ing together but keeping
their
"marriage"-Mutch~
ler considered Severns her
spouse-a
secret. She says,
"The common denominator
is, whether you are a millen~
nial or another generation
of lesbian, the consequences
of not telling the truth will
haunt you:'
Mutchler says that when
she considers how her life
unraveled,
youth
is the
wrong barometer. "One of
the things of being so young
when this happened is that I
had no co~ordinates on this.
The night Penny died was
very brutal. I couldn't talk
to her the way I wanted and
needed to:'
Severns
had
started
her political career at 25,
working for the U.S. State
Department as a special as~
sistant to the administrator
of the Agency for Interna~
tional Development. Com~
ing out was not feasible.
While at the State Depart~
ment, she was also a fellow
at the Smithsonian Institu~
tion. From there she entered
Illinois politics, first on the
Decatur City Council, then in the state Senate. There were
only a handful of out politicians in the entire country, and one,
Harvey Milk, had already been assassinated.
But then Terry met Penny, and had she not died, who knows
what would have happened. But Penny Severns did die, and
that's when Terry Mutchler's life began to unravel.
"I was locked out of my own house, everything was taken
from me;' she says, her voice remarkably calm and devoid of
outrage. "I lost everything-Penny,
our home, our life togeth~
er, everything that belonged to us:'
She explains that Severns's family even kept the sympathy
cards that had been sent to Mutchler. The lowest, pettiest
blow she could imagine. She had become a non~person in her
own life.
Now happily partnered with another woman, Mutchler has
moved on from the pain and long~term suffering of her loss
and its aftermath. And out of that pain has come a singular
lesson: "We have to tell the truth about our lives:'
Mutchler says she has learned that nothing is ever so small
that we should just let it go-and
that we have to solidify our
roles as "family" to our lesbian partners and friends, even if the
state hasn't given its blessing.
"I think that the mantra is 'All politics is personal,'" Mutch~
REVIEWS/
ler says. 'Tm reticent to craft a message that [my memoir]
is really about truth telling. But I've been shocked at the
number of people who have written to me for whom this
book resonated:'
Mutchler tells two stories-one
in which she and her
current partner are looking for a house together and they
are open and out with their realtor, who has read Mutchler's
memoir and is determined to find the couple the perfect
house. In the other tale, Mutchler goes to pay a parking
ticket for her partner and is told by the clerk that she can't,
because she's not family. Mutchler goes to the clerk's super~
visor. After apologies to her, the ticket is paid and the clerk
reprimanded.
"We can't let anything go;' she explains, her voice sudden~
ly filled with emotion. "You think, 'Pick your battles: But
these are all our battles. We have to make ourselves present
and seen and not be dismissed as 'friends' or 'sisters:"
Mutchler has been on a book tour and is speaking at uni~
versities. She says, "Young people are almost shocked that
there is a story like this to tell. They want to know 'What
can my generation do2'"
She pauses. "This generation can tell the truth-if
you
are gay, lesbian, transgender, tell the truth about your life.
BOOKS
Make sure that people know that you are not shying away
from living out loud. That your life matters and is valuable:'
It is no wonder that Mutchler spiraled into despair after
the trauma of Severns's death-she
was not even allowed
to sit near the family at the funeral. The recovery took time
and energy, but she came out of it a sort of phoenix, ready
not just to rise from the emotional conflagration that had
destroyed her previous life, but ready to tell her story and
urge others to tell theirs. She notes that much of what hap~
pened to her was due to "the consequences of not having
a voice, not speaking a voice:' She adds, revealing another
truth, "As a victim of sexual assault, I had a high tolerance
for secrecy and the pain of silence. Your instincts are to do
what's expected:'
But she argues against that-against
the acceptance of
suffering to maintain a straight status quo. "My lover dying,
being locked out of my home;' Mutchler explains, "was terri~
ble. But what was MY role in this:' Terry had a direct role in
her own demise here. I had to discover that and deal with it:'
For anyone who might consider dismissing her story as
unique, Mutchler suggests that you think again. "I hope that
another person never has to experience what I did. I hope
this story will give you pause:'•
HOT
READS
))BYVICTORIA
A.BROWNWORTH
Under
This
Beautiful
Dome:
ASenator,
AJournalist,
and
thePolitics
ofGay
Love
inAmerica
ByTerry
Mutchler
(Seal
Press)
¾
Don't judge a book by its title. If Under This Beautiful Dome: A Senator, A Journalist, and the
Politics of Gay Love in America seems like LGBTboilerplate, don't be fooled. This is one of those
memoirsthat look deceptivelysmooth and surfacey, but this one sucker-punchesyou from page4,
where, without knowing much of anythingabout the lesbiancouple at the center of this story, your
eyes are wellingwith tears.
Terry Mutchler was 27 when she met Sen. PennySeverns in 1993,and right from the first they
were in love. Mutchler was a reporter and Severns was a rising star in the Democratic Party of
Illinois-at the sametime that the state had another rising star, Barack Obama.Severns might have
THIS
been propelledinto the governor'spost or into nationalpolitics if she hadn'tdied of metastatic breast
cancer in 1998.
BEAUTIFUL
As a reporter and a politician in the early 1990s, Mutchler writes, "Instead of simply being able
to
enjoy this newfound happiness-or have time to explore our feelings for each other...we were
DOME
immediatelythrust into planningmode,forced to create lies to camouflageour true lives." Because
ASENATOR,AJOURNAltST,ANDTHEPOLITICSOFGAYLOVEINAMERICA
a mere 20 years ago, staying in the closet was the norm. So even though Mutchler moved in with
TERRY
MUTCHLER
Severnsjust six weeks after they started seeingeach other, they always hid morethan they revealed
about the relationship.
Severns'sdeathwould leaveMutchlerdevastated.It would also leaveher homelessand bereft-not just of Pennyandtheir life together
over the years, but bereft of everythingthey owned and sharedtogether-the art, the tiny specialthings, a cherry table they designedto
match a set of chairs they'd found on an antiquingtrip to Champaign.WhenSevernswas dying, Mutchlerwould wheel her to that table in
their home-it is one of her last memoriesof a shared possessionthat was taken from her.
In 2015,1998seems like a longtime ago. Bill Clintonwas still president,9/11hadn't happened,we were not entrenchedin two endless
wars. It was a political lifetimeago nationally,and also for LGBTpeople.Ellenhadjust come out publiclythe year before. Yet she was the
only one out there in the spotlight, with her "Yes, I'm Gay" Time magazinecover, while celebrities we knew were gay or lesbianstayed
safely in the closet, afraid for their careers. That was the world in which Mutchlerand Severnslived.
Almost to the end, Severnsbelievedshe would somehow beat her cancer. But as her final days playedout, and Mutchlerwas barred
even from picking up Severns'sprescription for pain relief because,the pharmacisttold her, "you're not family." Mutchler and Severns
both failed to see what would happenwhen Severnsfinally died.
0
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
31
Curve's online selection of must-do, must-try, must-have extras.
REVIEWS
LITERATURE
27TH ANNUAL LAMBDA
LITERARYAWARD
FINALISTS ANNOUNCED
It's a record-breaking year
of submissions
anticipation
and high
for the
June
1 Annual Lambda Literary
Awards held in New York
City. The "Lammys," as they
are known by the queer literati, has announced its stellar finalists, which
were chosen from a record 407 publishers and 818 submissions, and
EVENTS
PRIDE
include lesbian author Sarah Waters. Who said reading is dead? Not in the
LGBTcommunity! Read more on G curvemag.com
OUR ULTIMATE ONLINE PRIDEGUIDE
LGBT Pride is celebrated all around the country and the world from
June to August. Throughout summer we'll be posting stories and
event updates on Pride festivals, parades, parties, and events, big
and small, such as Twin Cities Pride. Minnesota is home to the largest
free-admission LGBT Pride festival in the U.S.,held in June and attended
by 300,000 visitors each year. This year, more than 150,000 spectators
will make their way downtown for the family-friendly Pride Parade and
5K race, plus there will be over 400 vendor stalls, free live music, and a
roster of events including An Evening of Classic Lily Tomlin on June 25.
Read more on G curvemag.com
CULTURE
HOTTOPIC
of theserapeswill
be perpetrated
by
acquaintances
WHY WE STILL NEED LGBT LABELS
The battle for LGBT equality has not yet been won. Stand up and be
counted! With same sex marriage now legal in 37 U.S.states, England, and
of collegerape
survivors
will report
theirexperience
to law
enforcement
authorities
SOURCE: 2007 Campus SexualAssaultStudy
funded by the NationalInstituteof Justice
NEWS
EDITOR'S
PICK
phenomenon: The "Back Seat Gay." Read more on G curvemag.com
-
~
~
~
~
~
~
A RAPE ON CAMPUS
How Rolling Stone Made It Harder for Women to Report Rape.
On
much of Europe, the West has made the last few years count when it comes
to equality. But with it, we've begun to witness a strange and unexpected
Easter Sunday, April
5, Rolling
Stone
magazine
retracted what is possibly the most controversial story in the
magazine's 48-year history, "A Rape on Campus," written by
~
~
~
~
~
~
Politics Editor
~
~
Victoria A. Bownworth thought as she read "Rolling Stone and
~
UVA: The Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism
~
Report: An anatomy of a journalistic failure." It is as exhaustive
~
~
freelance writer Sabrina Rubin Erdely. But some things can't be
retracted. That's what Curve Contributing
as it is enraging. Read more on G curvemag.com
32
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
~
~
~
-
We have some of the leading voices in our community
sharing their thoughts on
love and romance, parenting and politics, and sex and
spirituality-not to mention
our huge collection of lesbian fandom.
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
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~
~
~~
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~
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~
~
~
~
Lyudmila
andNatasha:
Russian
Lives
MishaFriedman
IntroductionbyJeff Sharlet
"Powerfulandmundane,
tenderandurgent,fierceandlovely."
-UrvashiVaid,authorof IrresistibleRevolution
"Thissoulfulcollectionof gorgeousportraitsandfly-on-the-wall
reportagepullsyouin slowly,
invitesyouto linger,andleavesyoudyingto knowmoreaboutthesetwo womenin love,living
in a perplexingcountrywhereeventhe mostbanalpublicdisplayof beingthemselves-living,
loving,fighting,splittingup,kissingandmakingup-nowmeansfloutingthe law."
-JosephHuff-Hannon,
co-authorof GayPropaganda:
Russian
LoveStories
"Beyondandagainstimagesof victimhoodandvictimization,MishaFriedman
presents
Lyudmila
andNatasha
ascomplexindividuals
in a complexworld."
-YevgeniyFiks
Call Them Crazy
The new comedy/horror film Crazy Bitches from director
Jane Clark is sure to leave you in stitches.
BY LISA TEDESCO
T
here's nothing more re~
laxing than a quiet desert
getaway surrounded
by
Mother Nature and your
very best friends. What
could possibly go wrong? Plenty! Crazy
Bitchestells the tale of seven gal pals (and
a gay man) on an excursion to a seclud~
ed ranch in the middle of nowhere. The
weekend turns into a nightmare when
they find out that the ranch was once the
site of a mass murder-and
history begins
to repeat itself as, one by one, the women
are disposed of by their own vanities. But
this is not your run~of~the~mill horror
flick. The film also has an incredible mix
of comedy, with exceptional one~liners,
sexual jokes, and tension, as the locals find
ways to scare these city girls silly. Crazy
34
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Bitches offers an abundance of chuckles
and a few WTF moments that will leave
you guessing"Who did it?" Featured play~
ers, Cathy DeBuono and Guinevere Turn~
er, are no strangers to the lesbian limelight,
and join many other familiar faces among
those who run amok. Writer~director Jane
Clark, along with Guinevere Turner and
Liz McGeever, offer us some insight into
this new type of lesbian film.
What talent did you bring to
Crazy Bitches?
Clark:As a director, I hope I just brought
guidance and a steady presence on set,
both for the actors and for the crew. As a
producer, we seemed to run into a lot of
issues with just about everything you can
imagine: scheduling, equipment, props,
trailers-you name it. What saved me was
the fact that I have produced two other
films at this budget level-Elena Undone
and Meth Head, which I also directed. So
I have developed a pretty good ability to
adjust on the fly.
Turner: Oh, it was super fun! First of all,
we were mostly on a remote ranch with
all of these chicks-always fun, even if it's
freezing or boiling or a long walk from the
trailer to the set. But we had trailers! And
second, I got to play straight. So I had to
do a lot of research-like go to stores and
bars and parties where it's mostly straight
people. Oh wait, that's life!
McGeever: Making this movie was like
going off to camp with friends, while get~
ting to do the work I love! Minnie is a very
unique character that I hadn't yet had the
REVIEWS/
time left in that half hour, and I had so
much fun watching them that I couldn't
resist a second pass.
Turner: Under pain of death-pun
intended-Jane
has asked me not to say
much about my part in the film, because
it would entail telling you if I die, and if
so, how, and all the good stuff that would
make you want to see the movie and be
surprised. So ...let me just say I loved all
of it. I don't get to act nearly as much as
I want to, so I am always excited to be on
the set and this role was particularly juicy.
McGeever: One of my favorites was the
scene in the tepee with Andy Gala. Minnie
convinces his character [her high-maintenance BFF] to sleep outside in the tepee,
rather than inside with the rest of the
group, and, of course, hijinks ensue. I had
never been in an actual tepee before, and
this one was quite beautiful. They are larger than I would have expected. Well, it was
fun to get to run around and play inside
of it.
Jane, can you describe the genre
and the tone of this film for our
readers?
chance to approach. She is very passionate
about her beliefs-kindness
to animals,
the environment, kindness to others. She
takes herself quite seriously in that way.
Because the things she says are so outrageous to others, if not to her, she is often
the comic relie£ which is fun to play with.
I enjoyed getting to bring my gentle side to
her, while also underscoring this strength
that she has.
Which scene was your favorite to
film?
Clark: I have to say the fight scene toward the end of the film. We had less
than half an hour to get it shot before the
sun went down, and it could have been
a nightmare, but it was strangely one of
the easiest scenes to film. Luckily, we had
choreographed it ahead of time, and our
stunt coordinator was on the set to help us
through. We dropped one camera low. The
other was with my steadicam. I called ''Action" and my two actors [Cathy DeBuono
and Andy Gala] kicked each other's ass
with such glee it earned a cheer when I
called "Cur:' We could have gone with the
first take, but there was actually plenty of
Clark: The film is for me a cross between
Bridesmaids and Scream. Though someone
recently called it a cross between Seven and
Mean Girls, and that works too. While
there are plenty of murders, and a little
gore, the film is just as importantly a comedy with a heart.
FlLM
this film. Were you nervous at all?
McGeever: As a straight gal, I was incredibly nervous, I have to admit! However,
Jane and Cathy talked to me beforehand
and made sure I felt comfortable, and I
appreciated that. They both had a way of
lightening the mood on set, which definitely made me feel more relaxed. At the
end of the day, shooting any intimate scene
feels awkward and strange, no matter
whom it is with, but you just have to try to
be in the moment and go with it!
Do any of you ladies consider
yourself to be a "Crazy Bitch"?
Clark: I'm definitely a Crazy Bitch for
having attempted this movie in the first
place.
Turner: All I can say about being a part
of this film is that it's given a lot of people license to call me a "crazy bitch" and/ or
make jokes like, "Oh, I bet you had to work
hard to do research for that one:' Say that
in your head with a dufus voice, please!
But actually, the moment that I met with
Jane and she told me the title of her new
project, I said, "Oh, can I please be in it?!"
So I guess I kind of knew it would be a
good fit ...
McGeever: As words evolve over time, to
some women the word "bitch" has become
empowering-when
used in a certain context. In that light, yes, I would!
( thecrazybitchesmovie.com) •
Guinevere, being well known in
our community for your work ( Go
Fish, The L Word, Who's Afraid
of Vagina Wolf?), what was new
about this character?
Turner: Well, aside from her being a
straight lady, she's pretty much in the general category of what I often play: something along the lines of Nightmare Bitch
Slut, or some awesome combo of two of
those things. Not complaining! Though if
anyone reading this has a courtroom drama where I get to wear a power suit and
be the attorney for the defense, please get
in touch with me. I just really want to say,
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury ..:' and
pace around the courtroom meaningfully. I want the phrase "not a dry eye in the
house" to be in play.
Liz, you got the chance to lock lips
and hips with Cathy DeBuono for
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
35
She's the King
San Francisco-based Top Chef finalist and Michelin-rated
chef Melissa King shares her culinary passion.
On starting young
On her kitchen flair
pastas, like a little
Italian grandmother
would. You can always taste the love in a
My first culinary creation that I can recall
My cooking style is hyper-seasonal, of-
was white Wonder Bread, a slice of Kraft
ten including local items I've foraged, and
homemade pasta dish. Some of my favorite
Singles cheese, and Prego tomato sauce
I support the use of the whole animal. My
ingredients are yuzu, black garlic, agruma-
from the jar, put together
food is delicate and technical. I value the
to lemon oil, fresh herbs, and high-quality
waved. It wasn't pretty, I know. But hey, it
importance
vinegars.
was the '80s, and I was a hungry 6-year-old!
execution. I enjoy taking comforting flavor
Eventually, my taste has evolved to include
profiles and elevating them through tech-
steamed whole fish, ginseng chicken soup,
nique and quality ingredients.
then micro-
of technique
and balance in
A nice homemade spaghetti dinner al-
and wok-fried eggs with soy sauce.
Cooking was an interest since I can re-
A dish to woo the ladies
ways seems to do the trick, but then again, I
On her signature dish
date girls who aren't afraid to slurp and get
member. I wanted to jump into culinary
Soup is seemingly simple, yet it takes
straight out of high school, but was con-
technique and creativity to make a soup
vinced by my parents to pursue a degree
memorable. I like to take my soups to an-
first (thanks, Mom and Dad!). While study-
other level by intertwining
ing for my undergrad in cognitive science,
es to add texture and depth of flavor.
playful garnish-
a little saucy!
On being out in her profession
In my experience, I found that if I work
really hard, stay dedicated, and produce
I picked up my first job in a professional
Lately, I've also been into making fresh
kitchen at the Getty Museum, just to test
pasta. It's my favorite thing to eat, and also
the waters. I knew right away from the hus-
one of my favorite things to make. I enjoy
powered was working in an all-female kitch-
tle and buzz of the kitchen that restaurants
the simplicity
and
en at Delfina, in the Mission District. It was
were where I was headed next.
the time and effort it takes to pinch filled
a group of strong chefs throwing it down in
36
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
of Italian ingredients,
great food, I can stand proud. Although,
one of the restaurants where I felt most em-
REVIEWS/
FOOD
one of the busiest kitchen lines in the city.
Twenty years ago, you'd never see this.
On her toughest and most
triumphant moments of Top Chef
The toughest part of being on Top Chef
was being away from my loved ones. My
most triumphant
moment was winning a
place in the Top Chef finale with my mother
by my side. She's my biggest supporter. I
felt moments of defeat, and a need to push
harder each day prior to the challenge with
our family members. Then she appeared,
How to follow her, in and out of
the kitchen
and we were asked to cook together with
pop-up dinner series called Co+Lab in San
no elimination. I was able to cook my food
Francisco, which is a collaborative
from my heart, without fears, while having
featuring local artisans and a guest chef or
the support of my mom. I am definitely a
two for the evening. My goal is to connect
mama's boi.
the community and introduce new makers.
I'll be cooking next by following me on ln-
There are so many talented individuals out
stagram (@mel_the_butcher) and Twitter
there that I felt a need to join forces, so we
(@chefmelissaking) or visit my website at
can create something beautiful together.
chefmelissaking.com •
What's cooking in 2015
A project I have going for 2015 is my
effort
Come to one of my pop-up dinners if
you're in San Francisco, or find out where
MAY/JUN
2015
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37
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STYLE/
PRI
Self-made style educator Ruby Polanco.
BY MELANIE BARKER
q
he road from Honduras to Hollywood-style glamour is
more than a couple of thousand miles. Ruby Polanco has
traveled the distance-and
then some. Polanco, who left
an unhappy marriage, earned a B.A. degree, and worked
as a realtor during the boom and bust, reinvented herself as a
beauty maven after it occurred to her that cosmetics lines did not
target Hispanic women. "We love color and heavy makeup, and
we love to spend money, even though we are a poor community;'
she says."But we have money to spend on anything that makes us
look better. It all started with the need for creating colors for the
Hispanic community and then I realized there was a big need for
education. And so the idea of creating a makeup school was born:'
Today, the Ruby Makeup Academy has three branches in
Southern California, has grown into a $2.5 million dollar enterprise in less than 10 years, and was named as one of Inc. Magazine's 2014 Top 500 Fastest Growing Private Owned Companies
in America. The Academy offers courses in beauty, fashion and
special effects-but Polanco's enterprise is more than skin deep.
For her, looking better is connected to feeling better-and
doing
better out there in a hard knocks world.
"You can use makeup to transform yourself into whatever you
want to be on a daily basis;' says Polanco. "Girly, sensual, powerful, the mom, the wife. I see makeup as transformation. For me,
makeup just shows how I feel inside:'
Polanco believes that when a prospective student walks
through the doors of the Academy it's partly to learn the art of
applying makeup; but mostly, it's to find hersel£ After she graduates she feels "so confident, so strong, like she has a future. As
women we're so insecure;' she says.
"30 minutes in the chair doing your makeup is like 30 minutes at the gym-you feel taller, stronger, faster, when you're done
with your makeup and hair. You know you'll do good that day,
that you can get things done. My makeup routine is definitely as
important as my 30 minutes on the treadmill:'
And the Ruby Makeup Academy is not just for straight Latinas. Queer femmes are drawn to it, too. "Whenever I am in a
room with Ruby Girls-that's
what we call our graduates-I'd
say about 15 to 20 percent are gay. Lately, we've been having some
parties and a lot of the girls are showing up with their girlfriends,
so yes, a lot of my girls are either gay or bisexual:'
Being out to her students is important to Polanco. "I am very
feminine, so people never realized I was gay, I never promoted it.
But around two years ago I started to post photos on social media
of me with my wife. Some parents don't like [that I am gay], so
people need to know from the beginning that I am gay:' Since she
has begun to include her personal life on social media, Polanco
estimates acceptance of her has increased. And in turn, Polanco,
who is 42, sees a greater acceptance of makeup within the lesbian
community, which used to be, for the most part, beauty averse.
"My wife Trish, who is 53, is more butch: short hair, most of
the time she doesn't wear makeup. But when we go out to events,
she does. It's part of her look.
"The Ruby community is 18 to 30 and loves makeup. I think
the new community of lesbians is actually into fashion, they are
into looking good, and even if they don't wear heavy makeup, they
do like to wear lighter makeup, like Ellen DeGeneres, to look
good. So I think it's changing for sure:'
Makeup can be a tool, says Polanco, to proudly display your interior strength to the world."If you're changing careers and going
for a new job, you get ready for the interview, or for the company.
You look the part, and you try to be the part. It all starts with
how you walk through that door, the way you look, the way you
are. Hiring a new person is a bit like falling in love. You look at
that person and you're like, 'They're it: Before we even say hello we
automatically know if we like them or not-like a date. Pay attention to making the first impression a good one;' advises Ruby.
"Match the personality of the company. Make sure that your exterior matches your interior:'
And Polanco has taken her own advice. When she came out
to her mother she received some resistance. How could someone
like her be gay? In Honduras, when she was a little girl, Polanco
heard her grandmother, who was ordinarily a kind and loving person, "use the nastiest words, words I had never heard before, if she
ever saw a lesbian, or someone who looked like a lesbian:'
But still, Polanco was not afraid to come out. She had no other
choice. "It was my life. I was willing to lose my whole family to be
my authentic sel£ but I didn't have to. It is okay to live your life the
way you want with who you want;' she says.
Now, her exterior matches her interior, and marriage equality
also manifests what is, for Polanco and for many of us, true and
real. "To get married makes such a difference. After going through
the process, something changes. Something within us-we feel
validated, we exist, we are real, our love is real. We have the same
rights as everybody else:' (rubymakeupacademy.com)
MAY/JUN
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39
•
Finally,a sustainableapproach to beauty.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
0
ur skin is our largest organ and we absorb 80% of what we put on
it, says Shirley Pinkson, the out lesbian makeup artist behind sustainable, natural beauty product brand W3ll People. "We spend
a ridiculous amount at Soul Cycle classes, at gym, shopping at
Whole Foods-we have no problem doing that, and yet we go straight to the
drug store to buy our beauty products. Were buying parabens, polyethylene
glycol, mineral oils, and all these things that aren't good for us;' she continues.
And at the drug store we're inundated with images of models and celebrities
with airbrushed skin. Were bombarded with messages about looking beautiful,
younger-never about looking well. Little wonder lesbians and queer women are
skeptical of conventional makeup brands. But if you do want to look well-or
even a little glam-W3ll
People is here.
"We're an expression of positivity;' says Pinkson, who believes that any attempt at anti-aging should be natural. "Take an ingredient such as aloe, which
is a soother, and nourisher, and a healer. It's part of making that good choice for
your skin. It's not that I'm trying to look younger or be anything different than I
already am. But I do want to be mindful for my skin, for my body, for me.
''I've worked with a lot oflesbians who don't want to wear makeup. But what
they do want is, they all want to look good! Everybody wants to look good.
It's not about making them different from who they already are. Your makeup
should never precede you in the first place. The biggest compliment I get about
W3ll People, is that when I put it on somebody, they don't feel it. I can touch
my face and it doesn't transfer onto my hands. We have a very minimalistic approach to beauty. It's a creative and mindful approach-not
cosmetic:'
Pinkson came from the land of conventional, big brand cosmetics, working
for names like MAC and Nars, and teaching their artists in the U.S. and Europe. "In all my application and selling, I never knew what was in the products:'
About a decade ago, when a client started asking, Pinkson decided to find out.
She studied the ingredients and then started making choices when it came to her
makeup kit and her own beauty. Eventually she went from promoting conventional cosmetics to creating her own brand based on natural and chemical free
ingredientsand her client experience was completely transformed.
"When someone came see me at Barney's and asked me to do their makeup,
that was purely aesthetic. It never came from a self-care place. It came from a
vain place. And now I work with people that have cancer, who are celiacs;' she
says. "They are in my chair because they have chosen a better path for themselves. Either because they don't want to be sick or they already are. I get to make
them look good and I get to make them feel good, and that to me is the biggest
difference in what I do compared to my past cosmetic life:'
40
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2015
Using commercial products, she says, is a bit like eating fries
from McDonald's drive~thru. It's cheap, convenient-but
you
don't feel so great afterwards, and your skin is liable to break out.
Using natural products has a different effect. "You feel empow~
ered that you did something good for you today:'
While Pinkson loves wearing makeup and wears it every day,
like many lesbians, especially femmes, some gay women don't use
makeup. But W3ll People even has products even for them.
"I was just at Sundance and Tig Notaro sat in my chair be~
cause she had to go to an interview that was being filmed, so I just
applied a tiny bit of mascara, a little bit of bronzer, and evened
out her skin tone. I look at warming the complexion, making sure
the skin looks hydrated and healthy. Instead of foundation, I use
some tinted moisturizer. Essentially, what I do is take you right
now and amplify you to make you look great:'
Pinkson's signature-and
W3ll People's, from its packaging
to the product-is
minimalist and natural. "It's a brand built
on portability, on key pieces of makeup. I don't think a woman
needs to have 10 pieces of makeup in her makeup bag. If you can
create a look in under five products-who
wouldn't want that:"'
W3ll People's barely there, multi~purpose products include the
newly~launched BioTint, which is a BB cream, CC cream, tinted
moisturizer, and SPF all in one. Natural cosmetics that work and
have skin care benefits? When Pinkson joined W3ll People she
confided in her two business partners that she was only interested
in the venture if the products worked. And they do. The "hippie
tested, diva approved" line is a hit from its flagship store in Austin,
Texas, to the purses of celebrities such as Glee's Dianna Agron
who never leaves home without her Expressionist mascara. It's
mission accomplished for Pinkson. "If I can make your skin look
good, and natural, I really don't have much more work to do as far
as I'm concerned:' (w3llpeople.com)
• cft
a
HollyRi
Wonum
el's perfume adventure.
BY MELANIE BARKER
q
s there such a thing as a queer fragrance? How about a
unisex fragrance made by a lesbian entrepreneur? Holly
Riddel admits she has no experience in the world of name
brand fragrances, "other than mixing pure essential oils in
martini glasses with chopsticks;' she says, describing the process
behind her first line of bottled soaps. But that didn't stop her
from pursuing an idea for a scent. "When you have so much de~
sire around something, anythings possible. I love showing other
people that taking action can turn a passion into a reality:'
One day, she was reading a book called The History of Perfume
in the San Francisco Public Library and she fell in love with the
idea of creating a fragrance. She was further inspired after she
read an article in ScienceDaily which asserted that "falling in love
only takes about a fifth of a second:'
Always interested in the concept of intention, Riddel decided
this was her moment to act. Named 0.2 after the one fifth of a
second it takes "to look into the eyes of another person and ex~
perience a rush of emotions, like love at first sight;' says Riddel,
"0.2 sets the intention to have that feeling whenever we look at
someone. It allows one to have the awareness to make every day
beautiful:'
Wearing a fragrance becomes a way of following through on an
intention. Riddel wants everyone, lesbians especially, to be bol~
stered by positive intentions. "When you have to hide something,
it creates insecurities and those insecurities lead to low selfes~
teem. If you can put on this fragrance and feel the love for your~
self, and feel that freedom to express love, you can actually go out
into the world and feel a little bit lighter:'
By wearing 0.2 every day Riddel believes she has created a tal~
isman of sorts. "Whatever your intention is, that is what you get
out of the fragrance. It's passion and sex and lust; it's meaningful
eye contact and soul contact; it's love. I've had not one but many
women get turned on; their whole energy changes. Every single
person that experiences it wants more:'
While Riddel believes in love at first sight, she's nevertheless
philosophical about it. "There are many people that are our soul
mates. There is always something magical with someone we
come together with. You can't deny the feeling when you look
into the eyes of someone else, and I'm in love with that feeling:'
(0point2.com)
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2015
RainDove takes the fashion industry by storm.
BY MARCIE BIANCO
q
he 6'2" stunner started modeling after losing a bet during
a football game, and that loss has given lesbians and
queer women a new dreamy pin-up. A former firefighter,
Dove is one of a new crop of androgynous models like
Casey Legler and Erika Linder, biologically female but finding
success in men's fashion. Dove, who uses the gender pronoun
"they;' has been featured in Vogue Italia and Elle, and voted one
of the Top 7 Male Models in the USA by W magazine. They
also landed a regular spot on the web series Dyke Central, and
they were featured in the Oxygen special Living Different, which
premiered this past January.
Dove, who just finished a photo shoot with America's Next
Top Model photographer judge Nigel Barker, spoke to Curve before Queer Fashion Week, April 16- 19 in Oakland, California.
"Walking in QFW is important;' Dove explained, "because it signifies that an event could showcase the consumer power and the
interest potential in the queer community:' The power of fashion
as both cultural and capitalist consumption is at the fore of Dove's
mind. At a time when the "pink dollar" is increasingly influential,
the LGBT community is poised to become a more predominant
force in the fashion industry. Capitalism not only informs Dove's
ideology but their identity as well. "I don't care about terms like
'her' and 'him' -all I care about is getting the most from my environment so that I can give the most I can to my environment;'
they said. "I am a gendercapitalist:'
For Dove, "clothing is capitalism ...! use fashion to define exactly what I expect out of the world at the moment-from
being
treated like a high fashion, expensive-looking woman who gets
free drinks, to being treated like a rugged college boy who you
wouldn't mess with in the streets:'
For Dove, this way of being is "limitless:' "You define what
clothing represents the minute you wear it. I identify to the world
as whatever turns people on and gets people off. I am not a lesbian;' Dove clarified."! am a pansexual. I love who I love-genitalia
is the least of my worries. However, I do lean heavily toward 'female' body types, because who doesn't love a good lady?"
And, with all this seriousness about the economics and politics
of fashion and the LGBT community, Dove's ability to relax and
find the joy both in work and life proves that their future is, indeed, "limitless:' (@raindovemodel)
d)
Show some rainbow love this Pride.
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44
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MAY/JUN
2015
he New York based belter has covered everyone from Cole Porter to Kel~
ly Clarkson in her award~winning career as an out performer, but this
year Anne Steele decided to come out about her own creativity. Her first
EP of original songs, What'.s Mine toys with the idiom "What's yours
is mine, and what's mine is yours;' and signifies the journey she has taken from
tribute to reciprocity. Steele's crowdfunded album is full of honesty, gratitude,
and giving back to everyone who has supported her over the years. In the past,
Steele took inspiration from other emotive music icons such as Pink and her
own pop heroine Sara Bareilles. But now Steele digs deep, writing songs based
on personal stories and painful experiences, even drawing from old diaries, to
pen tunes such as the 'big lesbian breakup' anthem "Worst Ever:'
"This entire EP project was a huge change for me. I decided that I am at a time
in my life that if I don't take a leap now, when am I ever going to do it2 I feel like
my real voice is finally being heard on this record. My words and my thoughts
are finally being sung. Instead of just covering someone else's material, I am final~
ly brave enough to say,'This is who I am. Take it or leave it:"
Along with the change in intention came a change in image-Steele had her
signature chanteuse~worthy long auburn locks shorn off and now sports an edgy
contemporary do. Lesbians who at first glance might have dismissed Steele as
straight will certainly look twice now.
Not that she ever hid her sexuality. Steele came out when she moved to NYC
a couple of years after college. "When I met my first girlfriend it was like a light
had been switched on and suddenly everything made sense:' Coming out in the
polymorphous New York music scene, she says, had no negative impact on her
career. "I have never noticed any discrimination in the music world regarding my
sexuality. I have always been surrounded by incredibly supportive people who
only care about talent and not who you sleep with:'
But, like so many of us, she found opposition a little closer to home. "Even~
tually a couple of years later I did come out to my mother, and that was a rough
one. She was always very liberal and open~minded but for some reason it was
different for me. I realize now that sometimes you have to let people go through
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2015
Out
their own process, and then they will come back to you. My mother couldn't
be more supportive and lovely now. She loves my wife and the kids and we are
truly one big happy family:'
Steele, who is blissfully married to Kelli Carpenter and is raising four chil~
dren with her, is looking forward to Pride season as a time when we "can be
proud of all of the people who have worked and struggled for so many years
before us; we can stand up and celebrate who we are; and we can be silly and
dance and sing, but always remember that there is a message of equality:'
And if you like to rock out to gay anthems such as "Raise Your Glass" or
"I Will Survive" at Pride or any other time of the year, take a listen to Steele's
"Don't Tell Us How To Love:' She'll likely be belting it out at Pride events in
NYC and around the country, where she'll no doubt receive a rousing welcome.
"Now I am touring and playing places like LA, Chicago, Boston and San Diego
and I have only found open arms in every town:' (annesteele.com)
MAY/JUN
2015
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47
hristine Martucci's voice makes you think that,
somehow, Melissa Etheridge and Janis Joplin
had a love child. And like those two pioneering
queer women, Martucci has a story of her own
to belt out, which she does in her new EP, Angels of War.
Raised Catholic, in the wilds of New Jersey, the only daugh~
ter of a military father and a feminist mother, both stern
disciplinarians, Martucci was outed by a love letter from
her college flame. "My father intercepted my mail, and he
read it. I came home from work and was confronted by my
mom and my dad;' she recalls. "You would've thought I had
cancer, or some fatal disease, the way they were both sitting
in my room in the dark, waiting for me to come home. I was
terrified. Both of my parents had terrible tempers, and my
father was so mad at me he disowned me that night-then
proceeded to put my head through a wall:'
Martucci had few options to better her station in life. "I
really had nowhere else to go. I was living off the kindness
of friends. I dropped out of college and just had no direc~
tion. When they say that the military is a calling, it's really
true. I went in with no regrets. It was some of the best and
worst times of my life, but I would do it all over again:'
Serving her country in the era of"Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
solved the problem of how to live, but not the problem of
how to love as a gay woman in a country that had bare~
ly embarked on its journey toward equality for the LGBT
community."My first duty as a solider was to my country, to
defend it and do the best job I could do. Second was who I
was on the inside, which was a lesbian. But I couldn't show
it. I had to hide it. I had to endure:'
She created a fake boyfriend, and used "they" and "them"
when referring to her real girlfriend at home. "There were
others like me-gay soldiers. We all knew who we were.
We suffered in silence while we watched our straight broth~
er and sister soldiers embrace their loved ones and show
48
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2015
off family photos:' Concealing the truth was a sacrifice she
made. 'J\nd though it was hard, and very unfair, we all made it
through;' she says.
Barely. Martucci attempted suicide."! can picture the day like
it was yesterday. I woke up with a strange calm peace. I knew
that day I was going to take my own life, and for the first time
I felt in control. I walked downstairs, poured my coffee, got all
my pills and took them in one gulp. My mind was blank. I sat
on the couch and watched TV with my ex and we reminisced
about fun times:'
Misdiagnosed as bipolar, Martucci had been prescribed five
different medications, which, on top of stifling her emotions
and dulling her senses, led her down the rabbit hole. "To take
back my control, the only thing I had left was my own beating
heart, and I was willing to die before I felt another day of sad~
ness and defeat. Next thing I knew I woke up in the ER with a
breathing tube in my throat:'
Martucci recovered, and, along the way, received assistance.
'J\ngels appeared in my life. The first was a doctor who finally
took me off all the medicine and little by little I saw the sun
again. I was clear again, I felt again, and I started setting goals
again and writing songs again.
During this time, the inspirational writings of Marianne
Williamson also offered guidance. And other things changed,
too-from
Ellen coming out on national TV to the repeal of
DADT and DOMA. "We are at the table and we are discuss~
ing, we are moving forward:'
Her new EP, Angels of War, is almost an abridged version of
this epic struggle, and Martucci cites "Piece of Heaven'' as the
track that "really defines who I am:'
Pride is a special time of year for Martucci. In the past, she
invariably played a show at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park,
N.J. This year, with the release of her CD, she may be on the
road instead. Wherever she is, she will be proud. "Not prideful,
just proud of who I am:' (christinemartucci.com)
Out
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
49
inny Gilder is quite an accomplished woman.
She's an Olympic silver medalist, the CEO of
a thriving investment business, and a co~owner
of the WNBA's Seattle Storm. But her biggest
success to date isn't one you can find on her resume. You
can only find it within the pages of her new memoir, Course
Correction. That's where Gilder reveals the struggle it took
to overcome her inner fears and finally be true to herself.
"The effort required to keep a secret that is so fundamen~
tal to one's identity could be so better directed to a more
productive endeavor;' she says. "I pretty much slammed the
door on my sexuality when I was 25 years old and decided I
was straight. I pretty much 'forgot' I was gay until I was 40:'
In the book, Gilder also details her foray into the physi~
cally demanding and mentally exhausting sport of rowing.
Coincidentally enough, the challenge of rowing mirrored
her inner challenge to reach self acceptance.
"I love the paradox of rowing," she says. "The beauty of a
boat propelled forward by a crew working in near~perfect
synch, while each individual rower struggles to ignore the
internal cacophony of voices shrieking about the pain in~
volved and the need to stop moving. I didn't have to think so
much about how I felt inside. I just had to focus on figuring
out how to move a boat through the water as quickly as
possible:'
That's how Gilder lived her life-moving as quickly as
possible from one achievement to the next, never stopping
to rest in between. After graduating from Yale University
in 1979, she threw herself headfirst into making the U.S.
Olympic rowing team. Her persistence and hard work paid
off and she became an Olympic medalist, winning silver at
the 1984 Summer Olympics.
The evolution of women's sports is something that is
near and dear to Gilder's heart. Title IX was still fresh and
new when she arrived at Yale and joined the rowing team,
50
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
Out
and while she's thrilled by the growth of women's sports
over the past 40~plus years, she knows we still have a long
way to go. "There are stories nearly every day about how
women and girls are denied equal access to opportunities;'
Gilder adds, "whether it be the size of a women's team's
coach's salary, the facilities women practice and play in, or
the uniforms and equipment budgets. While it's obvious
Title IX has made an enormous difference in the growth
of participation across many sports, the fact that people
continue to challenge either its efficacy or its necessity in~
dicates how much work remains ahead:'
Also a smart and savvy business owner, Gilder decid~
ed to maintain her ties to women's professional sports
by investing in the Seattle Storm. When the WNBA
announced it would openly market to and celebrate its
LGBT fan base last year, she was thrilled. "Our LGBT
fans have proven staunch and loyal fans from the league's
inception;' she says. "The league should be out and proud:'
Today, Gilder lives comfortably in Seattle, Wash., with
her wife and family. At 56 years old, she's a long way away
from the insecure teenage girl she once was. "For much of
my teen and early adult years, I felt so alone;' Gilder says.
"I was afraid and anxious much of the time, but showed a
tough face-both because I thought I was supposed to be
tough and because I felt wrong for feeling as I did:'
Writing Course Correction, Gilder adds, was an expres~
sion of her purpose in life. She wanted to connect with
people and encourage them both to dream big and to do
what it takes to achieve their aspirations.
"Don't let anyone decide who you are or what you can
accomplish:' (ginnygilder.com)
MAY/JUN
2015
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51
hie short hair, tattoos-we
can tell Andrea
Gibson is a badass with just one glance. Behind
that exterior, however, is a deep soul; a deep
soul that has the most perfect way with words.
If you've never had the chance to get into the world of slam
poetry, it's a good time to start, and I suggest beginning with
Andrea Gibson.
What can I say about this poet born in little ol' Calais,
Maine? Plenty. You'd need an abundance of words to high~
light and describe their soaring and flowing spoken~word
poetry-and
I use "they" and "their" as pronouns because
Gibson identifies as genderqueer. Gibson contributes
to an art raw in emotions, an art that delivers poignant
messages on gender, spirituality, war, love, bullying, class.
These words have the power to move and enlighten.
"I rarely write with the hope of changing anyone's mind,
but I do write with the hope of changing people's hearts,
and that includes my own;' says Gibson. "I think we have
a tendency to shut ourselves down to survive this world,
and art gives us a container where feeling all that we feel
isn't so terrifying:'
Gibson's way with words will make the tough weak in
the knees, so you'd be right to wonder where it all stems
from. 'Tm a sucker for love;' says Gibson. "If the world
wasn't such a mess, I'd spend my lifetime writing only love
poems. Even writing about heartbreak feels like a cele~
bration. So much gritty grace is required for us to open
enough to be wounded. I don't think there's any art more
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MAY/JUN
2015
worthy of our attention than the art of loving people well:'
It's no wonder that flocks of women travel from near and
far to get the chance to listen to Gibson lament from their
romantic heart. The 35~year~old admits to being an incredibly
awkward talker, and says that finding topics of conversation
with a date can prove to be a challenge. "One of the reasons I
started writing was because I could never find the right words
in conversation;' says Gibson. "I actually have a poem in which
I tell a story about the first time I dated a woman who had
children. On our second date I said, 'So, your vagina, it's really
rad that babies have come out of it ... ' It was mortifying for
both of us:'
Coming out is also fertile ground for language and Gibson
feels like the coming~ out process will never have an exact end~
point. Initially coming out as bisexual in 1997, and then lesbi~
an a year after that, Gibson now identifies as genderqueer. But
this, too, may evolve. "I assume I'll spend my life shifting and
becoming and trying my best to pay close attention to the pull
of my own heart:'
Currently on tour, Gibson is hitting concert venues and col~
lege campuses across the country, and loving it. "I love being on
the road. I try to never book a venue with age restrictions, and
have specifically been blown away by my conversations with
LGBTQ youth:' The conversation continues on the page in
PANSY, Gibson's third collection of poetry, and touches upon
a variety of deep topics. "There's a lot in it that I was afraid to
write, and that fear has historically been a pretty good indica~
tor that I should not stop typing:' ( andreagibson.org)
Out
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
53
t work, Meghan Stabler is an executive in global
marketing and communications at CA Technologies-a multi-billion-dollar software company. At
home, she's a loving mother to her two kids. And she
works tirelessly as a transgender advocate and national LGBT
activist. Stabler successfully juggles these responsibilities with
confidence and ease. Which is precisely why in Working Mother magazine named her Working Mother of the Year in October 2014. "I was not expecting it at all;' she says.'Tve always
been of the mindset that you do your job as best as you can
and go home. Getting recognized for something like this is a
wonderful bonus:'
As the first transgender woman to receive the award, Stabler believes it's an important recognition."In the vast majority
of companies, there are no protections for trans people;' she
says."So this is important as far as visibility goes:'Through her
activism, Stabler has had the opportunity to interact with celebrities and politicians-even the First Lady. "I have spent a
significant amount of time with Michelle Obama, and she is
just so warm and embracing and eager to learn more about the
trans community:'
During Stabler's transition, her former associates weren't
sure how to relate to her."They were thinking,'! don't think we
should expose this person to our customers; and 'We should
keep this person behind closed doors: There is a cultural misunderstanding going on in America. Companies need to be
aware of their conscious and unconscious biases:' She eventually found an environment of acceptance and support at CA
Technologies and the company's culture of inclusion has been
important to her success. However, if you are trans and "live
in a state where there is no workplace protection, you need to
be cautious. The opposition is coming out and hitting harder than ever before:' She firmly believes that if we can become
self-aware and acknowledge our own social biases, then we
have the power to change for the better.
54
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2015
Out
s Public Information Officer for Santa Monica Mountains National Recreation Area, Kate
Kuykendall's job is to help raise the National Park
Service profile, and to reach people who think that
experiencing national parks or nature is not attainable.
While many of us are focused on achieving national equality
for LGBTs, Kuykendall is focused on cultivating the next generation of park visitors, including iPhone dependent hipsters.
Kuykendall is poised to turn tech huggers into tree huggers,
starting with L.A:s backyard, Santa Monica Mountains National Recreation Area."We really need to expand the number
of people who get to visit these special places:'
Kuykendall aims to achieve her goal through the Find Your
Park awareness campaign (findyourpark.com). "We hope
people will think about what makes their favorite places special and share it with us"! And if you're not out at work and
looking for an out career, she highly recommends the NPS. "I
think most people value careers where they can make a positive difference in someone's life and there is no doubt that an
overnight camping trip in the mountains can profoundly impact those who visit. I really expect my sexual identity to be a
non-issue in the workplace. That has certainly been the case
with the National Park Service and, in fact, my wife also works
for the agency. We're quite proud to be part of the National
Park Service family. I am fortunate to work for an agency that
is very mission-driven and connected to the American people.
As a lesbian, I also appreciate working for an employer that
now offers full benefits to married same-sex couples.
"We consider ourselves America's storyteller, and we need to
make sure the whole story is told. Last year the National Park
Service announced the LGBT Heritage Initiative, which will
chronicle the LGBT struggle for civil rights. New York'sStonewall Inn, is already a National Historic Landmark, but there
are many other significant places that need to be identified and
commemorated as part of our nation's history:' (nps.gov)
MAY/JUN
2015
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~I-IT
T
he world seems more
fashion
obsessed
than
ever, and with new media,
supermodels-in
spite of
their status-are
subject
to more scrutiny than ever. Many behave
badly and few migrate to a substantial
way of life-or write about their careers
in an intelligent and transformative way,
as does Patricia Velasquez in her mem~
oir Straight Walk: A Supermodel'sJourney
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MAY/JUN
2015
to FindingHer Truth.
The first Latina supermodel-and
an
out lesbian-Velasquez
delivers a book
that is engaging, literate, honest and heart~
felt. It's full of colorful stories, from her ear~
ly adolescence in impoverished Venezuela,
to her life as an international model, and
her evolution into a businesswoman, mom,
and out gay woman. Along the way, she re~
counts her emotional and psychological de~
velopment and treats us to her musings on
language, love, spirituality, and karma-or
at least the consequences of her actions in
the world. For Latinas, lesbians, people of
color, and any type of minority, her story is
particularly important.
Straight Walk is an ironic tide, because
Velasquez has done nothing in a uniform
or predictable manner, and the book traces
the journey she undertook, which resulted
in the directness she shares with us today. It
is of vital importance to be out and proud,
FEATURES/COVER
Velasquez writes: "Living a lie isolated me,
made me feel like more of an outsider than
I already felt on most days, and it created
loneliness and self-loathing so overwhelming that it bled through my pores. All the
fame, success, and celebrity on the planet
couldn't wash away the damage:'
When you come from a large Venezuelan family-Velasquez is the fifth of six
children and she has more than one hundred first cousins-you tend to put others'
ideas of you before your own. Growing up
with an absent father (he was an academic
who traveled a lot), and a mother who tried
to make ends meet in a third-world Latin
country where food was scarce, and water
even scarcer, Velasquez was nevertheless
fortunate enough to go to a good school
and develop a will to succeed. But even as a
small child, she used to pretend to be something she was not. At school, to disguise
that she was Venezuelan, she would speak
ST
Mexican Spanish.
"For some reason, I was an outsider at
the core and that feeling may have had
something to do with how my life eventually turned out. I didn't know it so much at
the time because I lived with that feeling,
that outsider feeling, daily. I didn't know
until much later exactly why, but I knew I
felt it, like it was always a struggle:'
Early on, she escaped through dance.
The artistry and the discipline appealed to
her, as did the opportunity to travel."Dance
wasn't girly to me. It was athletic. People
admired dancers as artists;' she writes.
But when her tyrannical teacher rebuked
the girls for eating, and for not being thin
enough, even though they were often starving, Velasquez stood up and protested, and
was dropped from the troupe, missing out
on a trip to Europe.
But she went on to use her dance experience, moving with grace through the world.
As a teen, she entered the Miss Venezuela
beauty contest (and developed intense feelings for a former entrant, Rossana, who
helped prep her), and while she didn't win,
she was a finalist, and doors opened to her,
including the chance to model in Milan at
the age of 18. Her rise was steady and substantial: She went on to model in Madrid,
Japan, Paris, London, and eventually New
York. There were moments of exploitation,
emptiness, and extreme kindness from
some women in the industry.
The key to her success was her look, but
"millions of people have a look;' Velasquez
tells me when I interview her for this story. "It's how you use it. I started moving
my body in a way that other people didn't.
I knew the energy didn't just stay in my
face. It went all the way out to my fingers:'
Another factor was her resilience. Many
models burn out or give up after endless rejections. "You're very young, you're traveling
like crazy, you don't speak the language in
many of the places that you go. You have to
be extremely disciplined, and, most importantly, you have to learn to handle rejection.
You go to these places, 20 meetings or castings in one day, and you might not get one
job. So to get rejected 20 times a day and
keep doing that five days a week until you
get one job, it's hard for it not to affect you.
There are very few who can do that:'
Velasquez shares these experiences and
observations in her book, and includes
some startling admissions along the way:
a habit of concealing the truth (the worst
MAY/JUN
2015
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59
instance of which led to her almost being
raped); an "arrangement" with a male spon~
sor who funded her pageant bid; breast im~
plants; cocaine abuse that caused nosebleeds
and the inability to shed tears; in love with a
woman yet sleeping with a guy to prove she
wasn't gay; a lack of compassion for the man
who launched her career. Counterbalancing
these instances of recklessness and duplic~
ity is her draw toward authenticity: her
loyalty to family; her pride in her ethnicity
(she is Wayuu, an indigenous Venezuelan);
her will to succeed, to walk straight, to
be direct, to fulfill her destiny and do the
right thing.
Against this personal drama a larger cul~
tural narrative is playing out-Velasquez
is fighting the "blonde standard" with her
exotic looks, changing the industry's per~
ception of what a top model is. She lands
a place with the Ford modeling agency.
She is a breakthrough in campaigns for for
Chanel, CoverGirl, Victoria's Secret. She
graces the cover of Sports Illustrated and
Marie Claire Bis. She is even photographed
by Karl Lagerfeld, who senses that, re~
garding tastes in fashion, the tide is turn~
ing. In Lagerfeld's Chloe collection for fall
1994, she shares the runway with Claudia
Schiffer, Christy Turlington, Helena Chris~
tensen, Naomi Campbell, and a number
of blond "Glamazons:' Her elegant moves,
curves, and piercing dark eyes stand out.
Her exotic looks land her a role in the 1996
French adventure comedy Le Jaguar, and in
The Mummy, as Anck~su~Namun, the pha~
raoh's mistress. Bitten by the acting bug she
takes lessons and goes on to work on many
TV shows and films.
Today, Velasquez identifies primarily as
a mother, a UNESCO Artist for Peace, and
an author-according
to her Twitter blurb.
Even though modeling is in the past, it is
the vehicle through which she found hersel£
and fashion gave her the freedom of expres~
sion that dance once did. While modeling
in a very expressive 2000 Jean Paul Gault~
ier show she realized that she was ready
to come out to her mother. And as part of
her contract with CoverGirl she discovered
that her sense of
charity had val~
ue, launching a
scholarship pro~
gram for young
Hispanic women
called My Colors
of Success. She
understands why
fashion doesn't al~
ways speak to gay
women, because a
lot of it is "orient~
ed to one specific
type of girl;' but
sees its em pow~
ering side. 'Tm a
gay woman. I can
sometimes be very
butchy and I can
also dress very
feminine. I like to mix both things. But I
like to own my femininity:'
While fashion has transformed her, she
agrees that the industry standard-and
the
media that reports on it-needs to change.
Newsstand racism "is a fact;' she says. "It's
changing though, little by little. You see
more black people and Latin people on
magazine covers, on TV shows, in movies,
but it has taken a long time. We have creat~
ed icons and role models in our communi~
ties, so people want to buy a cover of people
who they think represent them. I think it's
finally being understood that we are a huge,
huge market. But why? Because we are
supporting it. You can put all the Latinas
you want on magazine covers, but if people
don't buy them it's not going to make any
difference. The change has been mutual.
"We are feeling more proud of who we
are as a culture:
African American,
Asian, Latin-we
are finding our~
selves, and things
are changing:'
But in the mid~
1990s, at the begin~
ning of this change,
even as more and
more doors opened
for Velasquez in
modeling, her true
sexuality remained
locked away. She
was barely even
cognizant of it, oth~
er than sometimes
being drawn to
particular women,
and
occasionally
experiencing feelings of sadness, shyness,
and emptiness. She describes encoun~
tering Sandra Bernhard backstage at a
Comme des Garcons fashion show at the
Louvre in Paris. The upfront comedian was
talking to Andre Leon Talley of Vogue, and
Velasquez, feeling very nervous about the
show and working with elite models Linda
Evangelista and Christy Turlington, was
moping about. After exchanging glances,
Bernhard came over and tenderly intro~
duced herself to Velasquez. "With every
word she said, I just felt less lonely. Plus,
she knew something about me I didn't even
know about mysel£ Something I'd learn
later:' Velasquez credits Bernhard with
her lesbian awakening, and although the
ensuing two~year relationship didn't work
out, its effects lingered. "It was the first real
breakup I'd experienced, and I was unpre~
pared for the intensity of the pain that en~
sued;' she writes.
In the end, the motivation to write this
memoir was not to brag, or to kiss and tell,
or to boost her career. It was to set an exam~
ple for her daughter, Maya, who Velasquez
co~parents with her ex~girlfriend, Lauren.
"I think as time has gone by and I have be~
come a parent, I needed to give my daughter
an example of what I would like her to be;'
she says. "I want her to be a woman who
feels proud of who she is, who can overcome adversity, who can inspire others, and
especially never feel ashamed of herself:'
She started writing for Maya, and
hopes she'll read it when shes older. But
she also wrote the book for women like
hersel£ "The truth is there haven't really
been any other Latin women in our world
to say, 'Yes, I am gay, I am happy, and
I am proud:"
LGBT rights have advanced rapidly in
the past 20 years, and as one who sees an
obstacle as a challenge, she welcomes the
opposition that may come. "I feel there is a
reason why we gays are going through this:
It's only going to make us stronger, closer,
and more unified as a community. It's going
to inspire us to be better parents, to be better partners, and to go out and really fight
for marriage and open the doors for the rest
of the world:'
Being out and honest is crucial to being
a better parent and partner, but Velasquez
sees a point to the circuitous path that has
led to her "straight walk:' And then she tells
me: "It is not a coincidence that you are at
Curve and that I write a book and do what
I do. It's funny that now we're talking. We
actually have a lot in common!"
A born storyteller, Velasquez has a story
for Curve. After the breakup of her 8-year
relationship with Lauren, she couldn't meet
any women because she was always working, so she joined Curve Personals. "It's the
only magazine, and I can tell you because
my couple friends, that's how they met!"
She had a profile, but she couldn't add a
picture of herself because she was a public figure. And so no one really responded.
Again, Velasquez was confronted with the
question of her authenticity. 'i\.nd then I
thought, I'm going to verify my identity
because this is crazy, I don't know anyone, I don't meet people, I live my life for
work, and people think you're out there
so much ... :•
But Velasquez realized that casual dating
wasn't going to solve what was happening at
her core: depression and secrecy needed to
give way to transformation and openness.
Her pursuit of yoga and Kabbalah has led
Velasquez to a much happier and more visible place. She has been with Ileanna Simancas for over a year, and she has a perspective
on all the different parts of hersel£ which
this book draws together. Modeling is in
the past. Motherhood is at the forefront.
Business is a chance to give back to the
world. Expressing herself through acting is
very important, and if you watch the feature
film Liz in September, released later this
year, you'll likely agree that Velasquez turns
in a performance that is leaps and bounds
ahead of many models' attempts at acting.
"Patricia is extremely intelligent and
modeling was a good starting point for her,
but in her soul, she was called to be an actress;' says Fina Torres, a close friend and
the director of the film. "She worked very
hard to get to her arr:'
MAY/JUN
2015
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Beneath her evident beauty is a substantial talent backed by courage and conviction. "For a famous Latina model, known
by thousands of people all over Latin
America, it took a lot to come our;' notes
Torres, who is also Venezuelan. Liz in September, adapted from the classic lesbian
play Last Summer at BluefishCove,was also
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2015
a chance to show the world who she really
was. The correlations between Velasquez
and her motorcycle-riding, plaid-wearing
character Liz are many: Both are famous
models; both are "beautiful, courageous,
defiant, seductive, fearless, even sometimes
ruthless;' says Torres. Some elements of
Velasquez's biography are incorporated
into Liz's dialogue: "Some Italians were looking for models, they
hired me, and I took off. I quickly understood that in life, beauty
means power. And I had it:'
And Velasqueis Liz is a welcome addition to the small but
growing pantheon of lesbian cinema characters: an athletic, intelligent, and independent tomboy,
urged by her friends, who have
gathered on a Caribbean beach
to honor her birthday, to seduce
the straight newbie among them.
Of course, along the way, secrets
emerge and Liis is the biggest. It
is Velasqueis "best performance
in a film;' says Torres. "She gave
her heart and soul to it nonstop
for two years:'
Velasquez has also given her
heart and soul to her book, and
to the cause behind it, which is
equality. "We still have so much
more to do in terms of tolerance;'
Velasquez tells me, "not only from
an individual point of view, but
as someone who has a family.
For me, this is the time to step
up and take responsibility and
inspire others:'
Coming out as a Latina model
has created blowback from her
community: "thousands and thousands" of tweets criticize her, she
tells me. But Velasquez hopes to
change those attitudes. "The Latin
culture is very male-dominated,
but it can be divided into different
places. For example, Argentina is
forward thinking, very open. In
Spain, you can get married, but it's
still very judgmental. In Colombia, they are fighting hard to have
gay marriage. In Venezuela, they
are also fighting, but it's not on the
top of the list because people are
struggling to feed themselves.
"If we really go to the root of it,
the male domination doesn't come
from the men. It comes from us. Were the
women, we're the mothers, were the ones
who have the voice at home, and were
not asking them to make their beds, and
were cooking for them, and theres nothing
wrong with it, but we are the ones creating
this in our homes. So unless we change it at
home, it's not going to change:'
As hard as it is for Velasquez to be attacked by her compatriots, she'll take the
heat for the sake of her path. Being dedicated to Kabbalah, which seeks to explain the
nature and purpose of existence, Velasquez
is convinced that everything has a role and
everything happens for a reason. "If [coming out] is going to drive people to read
the book, and be more inspired, not only
within themselves, but to understand others around them, then, you know, let me go
through what I have to go through. It's okay.
As long as we can plant a little bit of a seed,
then it means we are doing the job:'
And she has a message for women who
are not yet out, or who conform to the wishes of others-especially Latinas: "There is a
reason why you are who you are, and if you
stop being who you are, you will never be
happy. Often, when we try to protect other
people by not living the truth, we are indeed
hurting them by not living the path. I'm
here to tell you it's okay to live your path.
It's not easy, it's challenging. But if we don't
do it, then who's going to do it2 There is a
reason why it's us:'
In the epilogue to Straight Walk,
Velasquez writes: "Once I was honest about
being gay, I was honest about enjoying being sexy. I was able to accept that everyone
who was gay didn't also have to maintain
a masculine status, though at times there's
a big, butch dyke in me, not just a lipstick
lesbian. Now we can embrace our feminine
and masculine side, and that's okay. Gay
women are beautiful, so with nothing to
prove to myself or anyone else, I felt free
just to be:'
After coming out, Velasquez realized
she was more than just 'glitz and glam and
legs": She was a woman with an honest relationship to her family, rather than a celebrity trying to rescue them; she was a giving
partner, rather than a demanding one; she
was an indigenous woman who could help
improve the lives of the indigenous people
of Latin America.
No, you don't have to come out. After all,
there is a lot at stake. "But even if you feel
ashamed, or you get rejected, what are you
going to dot she asks me. 'i\re you going to
stay down2 No, you're going to get up and
do it again. So this is only a challenge for
me to say, you know what, we are part of
a minority, we are judged, we are looked at
as weird, but we still have a job to do. Go
out and fight and be proud of who you are:'
(patriciavelasquez.com) •
After an Off-Broadway run, Lisa Kron and Company move Fun
Home to the big stage with grit, honest storytelling, and a desire to
connect with a wider audience.
BY LAUREN LOGIUDICE
Remember Fun Home, the graphic memoir by Alison Bechdel,
who also created Dykes to Watch Out For? Well, Fun Home has
been adapted into a musical. On BROADWAY. There's no need to
fear that this main stage production will water down any rainbow
flavoring. Lisa Kron is reassuring: "Much to our great pride and joy, it's
full-on lesbo action." Besides living up to its queer origins, Fun Home
is a masterfully constructed musical created with exceptional bravery
by Lisa Kron, the writer; Jeanine Tesori, the composer; and Sam
Gold, the director.
In the Beginning
The Daunting Task
Years ago, Alison Bechdel heard that
there was interest in making a film adaptation of her memoir, but she says, "I could
not bear to see a bad movie made out of this
very personal stuff.' She's not overemphasizing the intimate nature of the narrative,
which weaves her coming-of age story with
her memories of her father. (Bruce Bechdel,
who for years had homosexual encounters
with underage boys, eventually committed
suicide four months after Bechdel came out
as a lesbian.) It was only when Kron was
attached to the project that Bechdel finally
agreed to a stage adaptation. "The whole atmosphere of musicals has been such a bastion of heterosexuality, but I did know that
I was in good hands with Lisa Kron:'
''Alison would not have trusted this material to anyone but Lisa;' says composer
Jeanine Tesori, who was the second creative
to come on board. Director Sam Gold was
the next to sign up. "I lived in a house with
them on a writing retreat, and thought,
They're doing something extremely interesting and challenging:'
Kron and Tesori developed Fun Home
at the Ojai Playwrights Conference, the
Sundance Theatre Lab, and The Public
Lab, a program of new works created by
The Public Theater in New York City. Fun
Home then enjoyed a run at The Public
Theater, in 2013.
" 'Bravery' is definitely the word that
characterizes the way I watched them collaborate, to try things not knowing if they
were going to succeed;' says Gold.
"One has to do bad writing to get to
good writing;' Kron asserts. "It was a little
tormenting to bring in so much work that
was not going to be good:' Tesori agrees:
"It's very painful:'
Deciding on the ending for the musical
was particularly challenging. "My partner
Madeline started to actually laugh out loud
at me, the number of times I would say,
'We figured out the ending, we totally got
it!' Then I'd realize that I had said that with
the same exact conviction, literally four or
five other times;' says Kron, laughing.
The creative team felt a strict sense of responsibility to accurately portray the source
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2015
material, and sometimes this made sharing
the unfinished work more difficult. Tesori
says, "[Bechdel's] family came to a preview
when we were in the weeds. I had a panic
attack for the first time in my life:'
Did they ever think that they wouldn't be
able to crack it? Kron and Tesori reply in
unison: "Never:'
What was their secret? "You get a group
of collaborators who want it to succeed and
don't doubt the reason that they're in the
room;' Gold insisted.
Straight Eye for the Lesbian
Playwright
Lisa Kron was the only lesbian on the
creative team, and this ended up being a
positive aspect of the collaboration.
"The whole time we were working, I kept
thinking, Sam and Jeanine are going to hit
that lavender ceiling. But that never happened;' Kron says.
Kron has not forgotten the opposition
that she often experienced when performing her own solo plays in regional theaters.
"I remember the first time I said the word
'lesbian'-! could literally hear and see people in the audience be like, 'Oh my, oh geez!'
Through the course of the show people
would [change], and that was part of what
my work did, was to normalize this thing:'
During the writing process, Tesori was
baffled by her co-collaborator's reactions.
For instance, when they considered writ-
FEATURES/
ing a song ("Ring of Keys") about how the
8-year-old Alison feels when she sees a
butch lesbian for the first time.
Kron: "There's no language for this girl to
write about this butch that will not trigger
the audience to laugh at her, and I cannot
abide that, I cannot bear it, and Jeanine
says, 'No, you're wrong, we have to do it:
I was like, 'I don't think it's going to work;
and she says, 'Well, I don't care, you have to
do it:"
Tesori: "Well, I bring the straight entitlement. Let's just call it-that's what it is:'
Kron: "Right, or at least the lack of fear
around it:'
Tesori: ''And I think that's why I was like
(in a scene with the 19-year-old Alison],
'Those two women are going to kiss: And
she's like, 'Well, we can't:"
Kron: "I thought, We're going to pay for
it:'
Tesori: ''And I told her, 'They're kissing!
They're in love and it has to be dirty and
sexy: I've had other resistance, but not to
that, so I felt like, I don't know what you're
talking about:'
Kron: "I mean, my interest was only in
keeping people on the ride, and I wanted to
figure out the ways to get that story through
that scaffolding of resistance:'
Who's the Star?
The narrative in Fun Home uses three actors to play Bechdel. There's ''Alison;' who's
43 and a cartoonist; "Medium Alison;' a
19-year-old student at Oberlin College;
and "Small Alison;' who's 8 and lives in a
small Pennsylvania town.
Gold: "There was a long time in the development of the piece where the older
Alison's relationship to the material wasn't
totally cracked yet. There needed to be
a safe space created for what could have
been an axed part of the show, because of
the subconscious-to
some degree, pretty
subterranean-ways
that had everything to
do with the fact that she's the out-lesbian
character:'
Tesori: ''A very smart person said to me,
'You are working something out in your
own life by putting that character [the adult
Alison] in, and that play will fail if you keep
her in: And I had a hard three weeks of
torture, thinking, Am I ruining this play?
At the end of the three weeks, I was like, 'I
don't ever want to hear that again: That's a
big, choice role in the center, and it's usually
not afforded to women, and least of all to
women in their 40s:'
Kron: ''And even less than that to butch
lesbians:'
Theater as Social Change
This is the first time, for both Kron and
Bechdel, that their work has sparked massive interest beyond the lesbian community.
Kron says, "Fun Home was the first time
that both [mainstream and lesbian] audi-
THE
ences had a very connected primary experience to the same show:' It was timing, both
Kron and Bechdel insist, that allowed audiences to connect with the material.
The Broadway run is staged in the
round, which continually shifts the audience's perception-just
as in her memoir
Bechdel approaches certain incidents from
several different angles. Gold says, "Part of
the experience of Fun Home is that it's an
investigation, and that is something that the
whole audience has to do together:'
Tesori: "I think, in the round I feel implicated as a scene partner. I feel like I'm in the
scene with Alison, because she's facing me
now. I'm not watching it, I'm a part of it:'
This audience interaction has the potential to create change. According to Kron,
"To be in a theater where people can see
each other, we hope that the audience will
feel not just a relationship to the play but
a sense of the connections being made to
each other. That pinging connection, back
and forth, that's the dream:'
The run that started this spring will
eventually reveal how much this musical
could change the landscape of Broadway
forever.
Tesori: "Lesbo action figures are being
sold:'
Kron: "I hope so:'
(funhomebroadway.com) •
MAY/JUN
2015
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FEATURES/
W
ile it's true that girls
with guitars are far from
n endangered species,
very now and then,
someone truly special comes along. That
happened in 2005, when Brandi Carlile
announced her arrival with an eponymous
debut album. Carlile is the whole packagesinger, songwriter, entertainer, activist, and,
yes, a lesbian. She is also profilic, recently
releasing The Firewatcher'sDaughter, her
fifth studio album in 10 years. Carlile sees
the work as a synthesis of all her past efforts, with "the innocence of our first album,
before we knew what a commercial song
structure looked like, the self consciousness
and live-ness of The Story, the hyper-focus
on songs that we had on Give Up the Ghost,
and the adrenaline that we put into Bear
Creek... all the good experiences of the past
albums are in this album-and the bad experiences aren't there;' she says, before adding, "We had our own new bad experiences,
but I think that they served the album well:'
In Carlile's estimation, all roads have led
to here, to now-starting
way back in Seattle, Wash., when she first asked Tim and
Phil Hanseroth (aka the Twins) to
make music with her. Even though
it's all done under her name, make
no mistake, this is a collective rather than a solo project.
"I can't imagine a career without
them. I just don't think you and
I would be having this conversation right now, because I would
probably be a bar singer doing
cover tunes;' Carlile says with
a laugh. Though the three have
been thoroughly committed to
one another, truly a band for over
a decade now, with a sameness of
mind and a closeness of heart, their
music is still as unpredictable as it
is unpretentious.
On the new set, songs as disparate as "Mainstream Kid" and "The Eye"
stand side-by-side, though a casual listener
might not believe they hail from the same
artist. That's the result of three voices flowing as one. She's quick to point out that she's
not a triplet, but ... "We all end up finding
our milestones happening in the same place,
even at different ages:'
Indeed, Carlile and the Hanseroth broth-
THE L LIST
broke it all open: "He told me, and I think
he's right, that you can do everything better when you're happy. You think you look
better when you're 20 pounds underweight
and smoking and drinking and super-dark
and able to hide in a dark room and visualize your feelings and write these tortured
songs. You think you're doing better and it's
cooler because you have to make something
good out of it. But you can write even better
tortured songs when you're happy:'
The other relationship that brings her a
sense of security and safety, along with a lot
of happiness, is the relationship she shares
with her fans, particularly the LGBTQ
ones. "What they've meant to me is unconditional love. They've shown that to me, regardless of how I've changed or looked, or
the things that I've gone through. They've
continued to embrace me because we have
something in common;' she offers. "I see us
doing that and holding each other up because maybe some of us didn't experience
that at home, at first. So we're really happy
to, then, turn and share that with someone
else, whether it's an artist or someone that
you relate to who's making music or speaking in a public platform.
'Tm an LGBT fan, as well ... I
feel that responsibility, too, to hold
up those same icons and artists,
first of all, for the road that they've
taken for us. Second of all, because
it's really important to have those
icons, to be able to look to them
and say,'If they can get here, I can
get here. My daughter can get here:
And to hold them up even if they
put out an album you don't like,
because that perseverance and that
unconditional love is something
that maybe some of us needed:'
With her fans in tow, Carlile
enters the second decade of her
career and a new phase of her life.
But will she lose the wonderfully
time to write songs for The Firewatcher's ragged edge that makes her so special? "I
Daughter."I had a lot of anxiety writing for wrote the hardest rocking songs on this althis album-maybe
because I'm getting
bum that I've ever written. I can't tell you
older, or because I had a daughter on the
where they came from, or how that hapway at the time, or because I'm married and
pened, but if I continue on with that trend,
happy-that
I would have a difficult time
I'll probably lose my less-edgy fans;' she
going into that tortured, kind of dark cas- jokes, adding, 'Tm not sure that edge ages
tle that I'd written from a long time ago;' well. I think happiness ages really well. Love
she explains. But a conversation with Tim
is timeless:' (brandicarlile.com) •
ers all became spouses and parents over the
past few years, with Phil marrying Carlile's
sister, Tiffany, to officially make the band a
family affair. As would be expected, having
a wife and a baby changes things, personally
and professionally.
"It was funny-in that week after the
wedding there was a realization that there's
a new sense of security and safety around
my relationship. It allowed me to bring a
lot of humor into my day-to-day, because I
think, for some of us-and I don't want to
speak for everyone-before we're married,
we're kind of always seeking something,
the wholeness of ourselves. Or we want to
make sure we're maximizing the ultimate
compatibility with another person. So, every time there's a disagreement, minor or
major, you wonder, What does this mean:"'
Carlile continues with a laugh, "Now that
I'm married, should something like that
arise, I don't wonder what it means for a
second! One of us is going to have to get
over it. There's just a different sense of relief
in that:'
Despite that relief-or, perhaps, because
of it-Carlile had a rough go when it came
MAY/JUN
2015
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69
Fun In the
Sunny Spain's Balearic Islands include Mallorca, the site of the lesbian Ella Festival.
BY ADRIENNE JORDAN
he Balearic Islands of Mallorca and
Ibiza, off the eastern coast of Spain,
offer a panorama of events and excursions for lesbian travelers. From
taking a boat ride on a subterranean lake,
to tanning on gay-friendly beaches, the
islands are a destination for every kind of
girl. Popular landmarks include an imposing Gothic cathedral in Mallorca and the
tranquil salt marshes in Ibiza, but the most
exciting events these islands have to offer
are the women-only weekends where pool
parties and sports fill the day, and at night
hundreds of women are packed into dance
parties featuring European DJs.
Start your trip with a visit to Mallorca,
the largest island in the Balearic Archipelago. The most recognizable landmark in
the capital city 0£ Palma de Mallorca is
the magnificent, light-filled La Seu Gothic
cathedral. Built of golden sandstone and
lined with flying buttresses that seem to
rise out of the sea, La Seu was created
during the rule of King James I of Aragon
in 1229, but was not completed until four
centuries later, in 1601. A small entrance
fee allows you to glimpse its many wonders: The nave has one of the world's largest rose windows, containing 1,236 pieces
of stained glass; and above the altar you'll
see Antoni Gaudi's controversial wroughtiron canopy, symbolizing the Crown of
Thorns.
To experience life in the heart of the city,
a stroll along the 100-year old, tree-lined
Passeig de Born is a must. The Passeig
de Born is a hub of fiestas and demonstrations, and a place where families go
to enjoy the evening. The promenade
is also lined with a selection of mid- to
high-range shops, such as Zara, Boss, and
Louis Vuitton. When you're ready to leave
the capital, pay a visit to the east coast of
the island, known for its caves and stunning beaches. The eerie-looking Caves of
Drach, one of the island's most unique attractions, extend for over 3,900 feet, with
craggy stalactite formations hanging from
above. The caves can be explored on a onehour guided tour, which includes a concert
of classical music and a boat trip across
Lake Martel, one of the largest subterranean lakes in the world.
A day on the isolated, rugged west coast
of Mallorca will most likely land you in
the quaint village of Valldemossa, where
you'll see that many of the residents hang
a tile plaque on their doors depicting
Santa Catalina Thomas, in the hope that
Mallorca's patron saint will protect them
from harm. The Royal Carthusian Monastery of Valldemossa, where the Carthusian
monks were based for several centuries, is
FEATURES/
the main draw card in the area. Lovers of
classical music will find delight in the souvenirs and personal objects left by Chopin
and George Sand, who spent a winter in
Valldemossa.
As you head back into Palma, a walk
through the Poble Espanyol (Spanish Village) will reveal the many distinct characteristics of Spanish architecture, showing
its development through Muslim and then
Christian influences. You can eat Spanish
food in the Plaza Mayor, or sit outside a
cafe watching passers-by browse for souvenirs at the village shops. Artists display handicrafts in workshops scattered
throughout the village.
When it comes to nightlife, Palma is
where lesbian travelers will find the best
options. There are LGBT parties on Saturday nights at the gay club La Demence,
as well as Harry's Palma Bar, and various
girls' nights at Isi Pub. Although the gay
clubs have a mostly mixed or majority
male clientele, there is a week every year
devoted entirely to the girls. The Ella International Lesbian Festival (ellafestivaL
com) will be in its third year in 2015,
where beach events and night parties are
packed into a late-summer extravaganza,
September 1-9. Scheduled sports activities include beach volleyball, yoga, running, paddle boarding, and a bike tour of
the island. There are also photography excursions, cooking classes, pool parties, and
blowout night parties with popular European lesbian DJs and artists. Past DJs have
included Michal Serr, Miss Cupcake, and
DJ Nica. The Ella International Lesbian
Festival allows for no down moments.
After a spell in Mallorca, take Air Berlin's short, one-hour flight to Ibiza. Air
Berlin is an IGLTA member and also
has an LGBT information site to promote travel within the gay community
(airberlin.com/lgbt). Ibiza is renowned
for bringing in the world's best DJs to sell
out events during the party season, which
runs from May through September. AfroJack, David Guetta, Carlcox, and Avicci
are some of the headliner DJs seen on billboards all over the island. But Ibiza is not
just for the party crowd-the island experience is replete with adventure, gourmet
cuisine, and ancient landmarks to discover.
TRA EL
Stay at the Ushua'ia Tower Hotel, in
the lively area of Playa d'en Bossa. As you
approach the lobby, you'll most likely hear
music by the resident Brit DJ, Paul Reynolds, spilling from the pool area. This is
a sign that the party has already started,
even if it's not yet 1 p.m. As a prelude to
the wild night that is sure to come, relax
on the gay-friendly Ses Salines public
beach, which is 10 minutes from the hotel.
During the drive, you can see miles of natural salt marshes, as well as the Church of
Sant Francese de s'Estany, Mediterranean
pinewoods, and thickets of gnarled sabina
trees. The Ses Salines Park salt marshes
date from 600 BC, and locals favor biking
or running along its scenic path.
If the sun has begun to set by the time
you arrive back at the hotel, you might
decide to head over to the Ushua'ia Club
next to the hotel, where dancers dressed
in slinky outfits move to the DJ's house
music and a crowd forms around the massive 50-foot stage. Ushua'ia was the first
property created as a combination hotel
and open-air club on the island, and it's
the premier destination in Ibiza for an
adults-only playground experience. The
wristband you receive at check-in will give
you free access to all the Ushua'ia parties.
Even the breakfast buffet offers premier
grown-up food, like lump black roe caviar
and air-dried beef from the Alps. If all this
doesn't sell you, then the hotel's inclusive
corporate philosophy surely will. According to Guille Rodriguez, a marketing manager for Ushua1a's parent company, the
Palladium Group, "There is no such thing
as gay-friendly here because everyone is
treated the same:'
On the western side of Ibiza, a beautiful
beach called Cala Salada, a tucked-away
paradise, is more familiar to the locals than
to tourists. Warm sand and crystal-dear
blue waters beckon you for a swim, or you
can rent a paddleboat for an up-close perspective of the coast. If you go on to dine
at the see-and-be-seen Cotton Beach Club
atop the cliffs overlooking Cala Tarida
Beach, you're in for a breathtaking sunset,
with sweeping views of the rocky outcroppings below you.
On Tuesday and Saturday nights, the
Hard Rock Hotel, across the street from
Ushua'ia, offers dinner and show on the
rooftop. At the Heaven restaurant, guests
can enjoy a four-course tapas menu while
watching a series of performances-ballet
dancers, sexy sailor dances, contortionists- in a setting that is very Las Vegas
and Miami wrapped together.
Although lesbian travelers usually attend mainstream parties and events, there
is a weekend in May devoted entirely
to women. The Velvet Ibiza party (velvetibiza.com), described as "The Wildest
Women Only Weekend;' takes place May
28-31, 2015, and includes pool parties,
concerts, yoga, and beach events. The
Lesbiathalon and the mountain bike excursion are for the daring women in your
group. Uh Huh Her headlines the Saturday night concert. Some of the European DJs scheduled to perform include DJ
Gunn, DJ Hildegard, and Kamikace.
Mallorca and Ibiza both sparkle with
centuries-old history and offer adventuresome activities on the Mediterranean Sea. With year-round mild weather
and popular annual lesbian weekends,
these Balearic Islands should be on your
to-vacation list.•
~Stockholm
The Capital of Scandinavia
V•ISi·t. •• Sweden
www.visitsweden.com
······•·•••••••
The New Mexico town is an art and recreation haven for lesbians.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
W
hile the Southwest has always
appealed to outdoorsy and
selfsufficient
lesbians, New
Mexico in particular has had
a powerful draw for women with an ar~
tistic bent. And on December 19, 2013,
legislation further paved the way for lesbian
lovebirds, with the New Mexico Supreme
Court ruling unanimously in favor of grant~
ing same~sex couples the freedom to marry.
Taos, a vibrant and picturesque town in
the north~central region of New Mexico,
is set against the stunning backdrop of the
Sangre de Cristo Mountains-a
landscape
that inspired the painter Georgia O'Keeffe
for 40 years.
The Taos Valley, the mountains, and the
Rio Grande create a kind of energy vortex
that has drawn expressive types to it for
many years. The vistas in this region are
dramatic, and the vibe feels ancient and
spiritual. The Taos Pueblo, an American
Indian settlement on the northern border
of the town, is considered to be the oldest
continuously inhabited community in the
United States, and it's a fascinating place
to visit, with its multistory adobe houses,
shops, a cemetery built in 1619 by Span~
ish priests using Indian labor, and the
San Geronimo Church, famously photo~
graphed by Ansel Adams.
Over the past hundred years, artists,
writers, and thinkers have made a pilgrim~
age here-to
meet, heal, create, or find
peace and quiet. Perhaps the best~known
artist colony in Taos was established by
the bisexual socialite Mabel Dodge Luhan
in 1919. Dodge, who was a close friend of
Gertrude Stein, was a prominent figure
in the art scenes of New York, Florence,
and Santa Barbara,
but her Taos salon
really took off, espe~
cially after she mar~
ried Tony Luhan,
a Pueblo Indian,
and it attracted Emma Goldman, Georgia
O'Keeffe, Willa Cather, Margaret Sanger,
Martha Graham, and many others. And
remarkable women have tarried in Taos
ever since.
WHERE TO SLEEP AND STAY
Today, Mabel Dodge Luhan House
(mabeldodgeluhan.com) operates as a his~
toric inn, retreat, and conference center.
Choose from 22 authentically decorated
rooms, some with magnificent courtyards,
such as the O'Keeffe Room, which has
twin beds and a private bath, and rents
for a reasonable $130 night. You can also
splurge on Mabel's own bedroom-with
its hand-carved double bed, private bath,
kiva fireplace, and private patio, as well as
a breathtaking view of the mesa and the
Taos Mountains-for
only $200 a night.
For something equally charming but
completely contemporary, the Palacio de
Marquesa Hotel (marquesataos.com) is
highly recommended. Managed by the
accommodating and openly gay Chad
Ozment, this is a lovely New Mexico inn,
recently refurbished to the highest design
standards. The beautifully appointed guest
rooms, each with a charming kiva fireplace
and trendy accent pieces, pay tribute to local identities, and throughout the year enticing packages are on offer. The Woman
Artist Package includes accommodation
in the Georgia O'Keeffe "Icon" guestroom,
souvenir postcards and handbook from
The Harwood Museum of Art, tickets to
the museum, a bottle of wine, breakfast for
two, complimentary WiFi, parking, plus a
Local Treasures 15 percent discount card
providing savings at shops, boutiques,
restaurants, and area attractions.
WHERE TO DINE, DRINK, AND DANCE
There's a lively and professional dining
scene in Taos, backed by a sustainable
farming and foodie culture. If romance is
at the top of your priorities list, The Love
Apple (theloveapple.net) will certainly
leave you feeling amorous. The restaurant
is housed in a cozy converted Catholic
church, and the kitchen turns out beautiful Mexican-influenced dishes featuring
organic local ingredients. My favoritewild quail stuffed
with green chile and
quinoa, served with a
walnut creme fraiche
sauce, cilantro, and
pomegranate seeds.
For an elegant
meal or that special
occasion,
Martyrs
Steakhouse is hard
to beat-and
it's
not just about the
rib eye and the local lamb chops. The
seafood is seasonal
and sustainable, and
was excellent when I
tried it, especially the
pin.on-crusted
ruby
trout. (martyrs-steakhouse.com)
For a hip and happening vibe, book
a table at Doc Martin's at the Historic
Taos Inn-and
you will need to book in
advance, because this spot is popular with
locals and visitors alike. The restaurant,
named after Dr. Thomas Paul "Doc" Martin, the county's first physician, is famous
for its hospitality, a reflection on the kindhearted frontier doc who was known to
accept a chicken or a sack of potatoes as
payment from patients too poor to pay
him in conventional currency. Adam Kerr,
the friendly food and beverage director,
says that every effort is made to draw from
seasonal, regional produce and local farmers, and the restaurant also utilizes its own
kitchen garden for herbs and greens. Must
try: the Rabbit & Rattlesnake Sausage.
The tagline of the Historic Taos Inn
( taosinn.com) is "everything comes together under one roof" and they aren't
kidding: After your meal at Doc's, you
might find yourself in need of libations
( the margaritas are excellent), live music,
and even lodgings. Though it's the place to
be on any night of the week, Tuesday is
gay night at The Adobe Bar.
Martina's Dance Hall is a great place
for live music and dancing too, and has an
authentic, old-timey Wild West feel. It's
directly across the road from the town's
famous much-photographed and -painted adobe church, San Francisco de Asis.
(oldmartinashall.com)
For a lunch adventure, take the winding and picturesque road from Taos to
the Sugar Nymphs Bistro (sugarnymphs.
com) in the township of Pefi.asco. Opened
14 years ago by a lesbian couple, Kai
Harper Leah and Ki Holste, a chef and
pastry chef, respectively, the "nymphs"
serve meals made with love, which should
always end with possibly the world's most
decadent carrot cake. You'll also relish the
fact that Kai and Ki support the social fabric of the area by collaborating with local
farmers, mentoring emerging foodies, and
often giving young folks their first job opportunities.
While on your country drive, stop in at
Vivac Winery's tasting room in the nearby
town of Dixon in spring, summer, and fall
(vivacwinery.com). Be sure to sample their
in-house cheese and chocolate while sipping the fine wines of New Mexico, such
as the distinctive Dolcetto, a smoky red.
THINGS TO DO AND SEE
At the top of my list when I travel is relaxing, and at Ojo Caliente (ojospa.com),
an hour's drive from Taos, you can soothe
your tired muscles and soak your aching
bones in a private outdoor mineral pool,
complete with kiva fireplace. What a treat
on a starry night! The public pools are also
great for an all~day stay. Choose from 11
pools, each fed by the millennia~old geo~
thermal mineral waters that spring from
a subterranean volcanic aquifer. Ojo is the
only hot springs in the world with four
different types of mineral water, including
lithium, iron, soda, and arsenic-said
to
relieve ailments such as depression, im~
mune deficiency, stress, arthritis, and skin
conditions. After all this hydrotherapy,
have a massage or a healthy meal at Arte~
sian Restaurant.
Sightseeing and activities in Taos de~
pend on the time of your visit. The county
experiences four full seasons and around
300 sunny days per year, so outdoor ad~
ventures, from hiking in the Rio Grande
Gorge State Park to alpine skiing, are pos~
sible throughout the year. Drive the high
road to take in the little historic villages
and observe the buffalo, the church, and
the Pueblo of Picuris, and do spend some
time at the Taos Pueblo perusing the rea~
sonably priced and authentic native Indian
wares- I was tempted by the spirit animal
carvings, corn necklaces, and distinctive
pottery polished with horsehair and river
stones (taospueblo.com).
Taos is also an art collector's para~
dise, with beautiful pieces such as can~
vases, rugs, and hand~carved furniture
for sale at Wilder Nightingale Gallery
(wnightingale.com), DAFA (davidantho~
nyfineart.com), and Los Comadres, the
women's co~op gallery on Bent Street (lo~
scomadresgallery.com). For jewelry, Emily
Benoist Ruffin, a brilliant goldsmith on
Bent Street, may have an award~winning,
handmade ring perfect for popping the
question (emilyruflin.com).
While Taos is easy to navigate, and its
beauty obvious (mountains and red wil~
lows everywhere!), consider engaging a
guide to take you off the beaten path and
to surprising places. You won't find a bet~
ter guide than Robert Cafazzo of Two
Graces Plaza Gallery (twograces.com).
An accomplished artist and Taos retailer
and resident, Robert knows every nook
and cranny of the county and will create
an itinerary to suit your tastes-whether
that's suggesting where to stay, the best
shopping deals, or the must~see galleries.
He's also great at dishing historic gossip,
taking you hiking, scouring the land for
petroglyphs and pottery shards, or finding
the best vantage points for selfies! Who
can beat a guide who takes you to the very
sites where Georgia O'Keeffe set up her
easel, and who introduces you to many
of today's remarkable and accomplished
women of Taos.
TODAY'S REMARKABLE WOMEN OF TAOS
Strong
and stylish celebrity women
such as Ali McGraw, Lauren Hutton, and
Julia Roberts have made Taos their home,
and last spring, Edible Santa Fe magazine ran
a special Taos Women and Food issue and
The Taos News came out with Taos Woman:
Celebrating the Feminine Spirit. These pub~
lications, full of fascinating profiles of notable
women of the region, indicate that there is a
rich and tightly connected feminist and lesbi~
an network in Taos.
Some of the women I met on my visit in~
eluded Kathleen Brennan, the documentary
filmmaker and photographer (brennanstu~
dio.com), and her partner Kat Duff, the au~
thor of widely~praised book The Secret Life
of Sleep; Nancy Stapp, radio talk show host
at 1340AM KVOT; the acclaimed granite
sculptor Candyce Garret; Heather Pipkin
Stapp, pharmacist, DJ and coordinator of
the Taos Gay Pride Parade (taospride.org);
filmmaker and part~time resident/ vacation
rental owner Melissa Howden; and numerous
LGBT allies such as fine art photographer
Pattie Traynor, and Mary Domito, local per~
sonality and retailer at Taos Lifestyle. With
such a cool group of women thrilled to come
out and meet us, it was hard to leave Taos
and I will most certainly return one day.
(taos.org) •
Oppositepage: Taos Pueblo;Palaciode Marquesa
This page: Palaciode Marquesa; Ojo Caliente spa
Thoroughly
Modern
Yesteryear's lodging for women only is today's hipster heaven.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
N
ew Yorkers are spoiled for choice
when it comes to iconic hotels,
so it's a pleasure to try something
new-even
if it's a revival. Once
upon a time, the Martha Washington was
the first and most famous hotel reserved ex~
elusively for women. Named after the wife
of George Washington, who was known to
be a gracious hostess at Mount Vernon, the
hotel was an early 20th century refuge for
poets, entrepreneurs, artists, and thespi~
ans, including Eleanor Roosevelt, the poet
Sara Teasdale, and film stars Louise Brooks
and Veronica Lake. Today, it's a landmark
Renaissance Revival property "exclusively
for everyone;' as the tagline goes.
Established in 1903, it's been impec~
cably renovated, and retains flourishes of
its former glory, including grand interi~
or features such as terrazzo floors, fluted
columns, and coffered ceilings. History is
balanced by humor: Above my very comfy
bed were arty sil~
houettes of Victo~
rian ladies smoking
pipes and holding
axes or liquor bot~
des-quite
the Liz~
zie Borden touch!
But it's a good thing
Chelsea Hotels and
its creative partners Selldorf Architects,
Pandiscio Co., and Union Square Hos~
pitality Group revived good old Martha
Washington not as a fusty Victorian, but
as a chic and contemporary suffragette!
Located at 29 East 29th Street, the
Martha Washington, with its 261 fully
appointed rooms and suites, is close to the
attractions of Fifth, Madison, and Park
avenues for shopping, coffee, or cocktails,
but your best dining experience is offered
by the property's restaurant, Marta. Mar~
ta offers contemporary Italian by Danny
Meyer's trend~aware Union Square Hos~
pitality Group and occupies the spec~
tacular ground floor space off the hotel's
entry. With an interior designed by An~
nabelle Selldorf, Marta is modern, warm
and yet breezy, due to its soaring ceilings
and open kitchen which proudly displays
two pizza ovens. On the night I
dined, service was impeccable and
everything was delicious-from
the carafe of wine to the rustic,
thin~crust wood~fired pizza. But
don't stop at pizza. The rabbit and
ricotta meatballs are a must, as is
any dish cooked alle brace, over the
oven's embers! Marta is also open
for breakfast and lunch, seven days
a week, so don't be surprised if
you take all your meals in this chic
space. (chelseahotels.com) •
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gaykeywes.tfi~com
};;:'.-i,
{305)294-4603
TLOOKtSTARS
Summer Sizzle
Mars in sensuous Taurus and Venus in romantic Cancer bring
on some early heat. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Spruce up your surroundings
to make them more in sync
Carol star Cate Blanchett turned
46 on May 14.
TAURUS %
(April 21-May 21))
Taurus the Bull is an
earthy woman guided
by insatiable appetites
that strive to be fulfilled.
She is generous, genial,
gorgeous and blessed
with exquisite taste and
style. These gals know
how to live well and only
aspire to have enough
money to support their
lavish lifestyles, a randy
girlfriend, and still have a
bit left in the bank for a
rainy day.
GEMINI
(May 22-June 21)
Sapphic Twins tend to
lead double lives. It is not
uncommon for them to
have two (or more) lovers
at any one time. They
may also hold two jobs,
have two homes, two
cars ... you get the idea.
They are also the masters
of opposites, able to see
two different sides of an
argument and have two
separate opinions for
every one issue. (Give me
two shots of bourbon; I'm
seeing double!)
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80
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 22)
act. Lionesses love to be the
center of attention but you
can achieve more if you let go
and allow others to plan the
festivities. They will be happy
to carry you off on their
shoulders. Be regal and wave
break room but mixing business
with pleasure will have its pros
and cons. For one thing, it
might impede your professional
progress. But on the other
hand, do you really care?
Complications get your blood
pumping and that makes your
passion even greater. Pump it
while you can.
with what you need. Then see
who you can lure to your crib
to admire your amazing work.
Lambda Rams need a refuge
to rest their stressed nerves.
De-stress your nerves any way
you can, honey. Ahem.
to the adoring crowds.
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
Virgo (Aug 24-Sept 23)
Have an opinion or a few
good thoughts? This is the
time to eloquently express
yourself and see where your
great ideas can take you. You
may even be able to cash in
You will begin to see the
fruits of your labors grow
and ripen. So take advantage
of good timing, Virgo, and
plan your next move up the
corporate ladder. Be kind and
on a personal project that has
been simmering on your back
burner for a while. Some of
those "personal projects" can
be very hot. Lucky you!
generous as you advance and
remember those who helped
you get a leg up. They say
that it is lonely at the top but
it is never lonely when you are
on top.
Love can percolate in the office
Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 20)
Balance is everything. As much
as you want to put in a great
effort at work, you need to
maintain balance and give more
attention to lovergrrls at the
same time. Too many late nights
at the office will dampen your
home life. Too many late nights
stoking the home fires will leave
you with less energy at work.
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
Any secret that you have been
trying to keep under wraps
becomes totally unwrapped
and unleashed into the public
discourse. Oops! Now what?
Embrace your situation and
enjoy the attention it brings.
Who knows? It may prove to
be notorious. And the ladies
love notoriety.
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
You are compelled to wheel
and deal behind the scenes
now, Cancer. There are forces
that are magnificent for you
but need to be controlled.
The better you can apply
all of your diplomatic and
political skills, the more
successful you will be in
implementing your pet
Charlene
Lichtenstein
istheauthor~
of HerScopes:
AGuide
to Astrology
~
for Lesbians
(Simon
& Schuster),
projects. Did I say pet? I
nowavailable
asanebook(tinyurl.~
com/HerScopes).
~ meant petting.
%
Leo (July 24-Aug 23)
Gal pals want to get into your
Libra (Sept 24-Oct 23)
The urge to travel and get
into mischief builds through
the next few weeks. What are
you waiting for? Grab your
favorite amour du jour and
explore her parts, known and
unknown, here and there and
everywhere. Will all of this
randy adventure become
deeply boring? Oh let's hope
so, luscious Libra!
Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19)
Tackle longstanding home
projects now while you have
the stamina. Some may involve
physical improvements and
others may require emotional
investment, and more money
than you think, but the end
results will be terrific. Then show
off your beautiful taste. Hmm,
anyone we know, Aqueerius?
Pisces (Feb 20-March 20)
Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov 22)
Scorpios love to have deep
and intense connections with
their lovergrrls but the dayto-day grind can fray even
the strongest of them. New
loves can be found when you
burrow out of your own yard
and graze in new pastures.
Is that what they are calling
it now?
Party hearty Guppie and see
who swims into your social pool
in time for summer festivities.
Your effortless ability to charm
will result in more women
wanting to meet you and get to
know you. Be choosy. There are
only so many celestial bodies
you can to pull into your orbit.
All the rest must become
distant orbs.
*
Join Macy's as we
Celebrate Family + Friends + Love + Life + Equality + Respect
We are proud to join the parade across America in honor of National Pride Month.
We think ifs really something to celebrate.
Plus, join us in supporting
The Trevor Project this year!
The Trevor Project provides life-saving crisis
intervention for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender,
and questioning (LGBTO) youth.
FOR
MORE
DETAILS
visit MACYS.COM/CELEBRATE
ma
OOOG@OO
*
See all items with this value
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Together we'll go far
© 2015Wells Fargo Bank,N.A. All rights reserved.Member FDIC.ECG-1246278
MAY/JUN
2015
FEATURES
18
A WEALTHY LESBIAN LIFE
Money maven Luna Jaffe has
some tips and tricks for getting
rich. By Gillian Kendall
20
AISHA AND DANIELLE
MOODIE-MILLS
The Washington power couple
shares the secrets of their
success. By Marcie Bianco
38
STYLE WITH PRIDE
Our gayest time of the year is
not just about rainbow colors!
From makeup to fragrance,
here are some lesbian movers
and shakers with fashion sense.
~3
SPECIAL CAREER SECTION:
OUT&PROUD
A selection of out and amazing
lesbian and queer role models.
By Lyndsey D'Arcangelo,
Merryn Johns, and Lisa
Tedesco
37
MODEL BEHAVIOR
The multi-talented model
reveals all in her moving
memoir. By Merryn Johns
6~
BUTCH PRIDE
Comic Julie Goldman heads to
Seattle for their Lesbian Pride.
By Sarah Toce
66
LESBIANS ON BROADWAY
Light the lights for Fun Home.
By Lauren LoGiudice
68
BRANDI CARLILE IS BACK!
And happier than ever! By
Kelly McCartney
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
1
MAY/JUN
2015
44
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
IN EVERYISSUE
4
EDITOR'S NOTE
6
CURVETTES
8
FEEDBACK
11
THE GAYDAR
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
TRENDS
REVIEWS
10 LES LOOKS LIKE
Meet lesbian pin-up psychic,
Julie Ann Miller.
26 MUSIC
Kate Pierson of the fun, queer
pop band the B-52s has
gone solo, and has lots to
share about music, love, and
her sexual fluidity. By Kelly
McCartney
12 BEAUTY
Organic, natural, lesbiandesigned products from W311
People.
14 LESBOFILE
What's new and noteworthy
with our favorite celesbians.
VIEWS
16 POLITICS
Pride is a time to reflect upon
the history we make in the
struggle for equal rights.
But lesbians continue to be
overlooked in LGBT history. By
Victoria A. Brownworth
34 FILM
Crazy Bitches is that rare thing
in indie cinema: a lesbian
horror-comedy. Meet the cast
and director of this cult lesbian
classic. By Lisa Tedesco
22 LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Michelin-rated chef Melissa
King shares her favorite things
inside and outside of the
kitchen.
Relationship advice from our
trusted butch-femme duo.
24 OUT IN FRONT
Meet our community leaders.
PALACIO
2
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
30 BOOKS
Washington D.C.insider Terry
Mutchler comes out with
her political and personal
revelations in her new book.
By Victoria A. Brownworth
24 IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT ... LGBT news from across
the country. By Sassafras
Lowrey
36 FOOD
44 GIFTS
Make it a happy and colorful
Pride with these rainbowinspired items.
Flying the Flag
A
re you a patriot:' Do you feel proud at Pride:' The modern
national flag is a fairly recent concept-dating
from the
17th century. But in ancient times, flags symbolized not just
countries, but many things: leaders, clans, guilds, towns,
castles, ships. Anything a group could rally around. Colorful streamers
were carried into battle. An white flag meant surrender-and
still does
today. A flag was, and is, a symbol of intent and allegiance, especially in
conflict. Capturing a flag in battle means victory. Burning a flag is a sign
of revolt or protest. Many countries, including much of Europe, Asia,
and the Middle East, outlaw flag desecration. Flags of the United States
are sometimes symbolically burned, but despite the fact that the sight of
Old Glory or even the Confederate flag going up in smoke makes some
people uneasy or outraged, a ban on flag burning has yet to be passed by
the U.S. Senate.
In March of this year, Cameron Mayfield stole a rainbow flag from a
lesbian couple in Omaha, Ariann Anderson and Jessica Meadows-Anderson. After taking the flag, which hung outside their home, Mayfield
set it on fire and waved it in front of their house, in full view of its occupants and neighbors. Was this a prank or a hate crime:' Was Mayfield
just drunk and disorderly, was he expressing "symbolic speech;' or was
he terrorizing his neighbors:'
The Andersons, who married in Iowa, believe that the act was motivated by "intolerance and hate:' While they have since replaced the
flag, they were shaken by the incident. "The intent really does make the
difference. Watching him run toward our house with our burning flag,
seeing him stop and wave that burning symbol of a controversial and
inherent part of our being as a minority-in
front of our house as a
clear message-that
made it scary;' they told a local TV station. "That
made it an attack, as opposed to a prank:'
As the progress of LGBT equality gradually reaches the Midwest,
what might have been seen as a drunken prank is now more likely to be
considered something criminal. The Douglas County Attorney's Office
has said that Mayfield's initial charge of arson was aggravated by its
being a hate crime, which could make the charge a class 4 felony.
The rainbow flag has been in use as a symbol of Gay Pride since
the 1970s, its importance increasing after the assassination of Harvey
Milk. It has more in common with ancient flags than it does with the
modern national flag-uniting
a diverse group of clans to battle for
their safety and survival, and expressingjoy in that unity. Its design was
inspired, some say, by Judy Garland's "Over the Rainbow;' and while
I have never been a flag fancier mysel£ the Omaha incident has given
me newfound respect for our community flag. 'Tm so over it" is not a
phrase that will leave my lips this Pride.
As our out and proud cover girl Patricia Velasquez-the
first Latina
supermodel-says, "We still have so much more to do in terms of tolerance. I see challenges as opportunities. I feel there is a reason why we
gays are going through this: It's going to make us stronger, closer, and
more unified as a community:'
Happy Pride!
~z
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
merryn@curvemag.com
._
__UP__,RONT!CURVETTES
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
MAY/JUN
2015
LESBIAN
» VOLUME
MAGAZINE
25 NUMBER
3
PUBLISHER Silke Bader
FOUNDING PUBLISHER Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
EDITORIN CHIEF Merryn Johns
SENIORCOPY EDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Melanie Barker, Kathy Beige,
LISA TEDESCO
LAURENLOGIUDICE
Lisa was born and raised in Connecticut before heading out west to film school in San
Francisco at the Academy of Art University.
Upon graduation she moved back to her
home state and pursued a second degree
from Southern Connecticut State University
in Media Studies. An avid lover of women's
film and television, she aspires to one day
create her own lesbian-themed web series
or feature film (currently in the works). She
will be wed to her fiancee, Amy, in October
of this year. This issue she interviews slam
poet Andrea Gibson and the team behind
lesbian indie film Crazy Bitches.
Lauren is a writer/performer based in NYC.
Acting credits include Veep, All My Children,
When Harry Tries to Marry, Flick's Chicks
and the upcoming gay romantic comedy
Beautiful Something. Lauren's solo dramatic comedy, Queens Girl, toured worldwide,
and her second solo show, Garbo Dreams,
performed throughout NYC and is now touring college campuses under Campus Pride.
A storyteller and comedian, Lauren's writing and performance has been featured by
the New York Times, Backstage, BBC, NY1
and others. This issue she writes about Fun
Home on Broadway. (laurenlogi.com)
Marcie Bianco, Victoria A. Brownworth, Gina Daggett,
Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Sheryl Kay, Gillian Kendall, Dave
Steinfeld, Jocelyn Voo
PROOFREADERAmanda Keeling
EDITORIALASSISTANTSLisa Tedesco, Cora Shaye-Pope, Angela
Randall, Micheline Tawilian
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONS Jeannie Sotheran
ADVERTISING
NATIONALSALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ART DIRECTOR Bruno Cesar Guimaraes
SOCAL MEDIA
MANAGERBel Evans
INTERNSLucy Doyle, Erika Tamm, Lex Giggs
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Jenny Block, Kelsy Chauvin, Jill Goldstein,
Kristin Flickinger, Gillian Kendall, Kim Hoffman, Francesca
Lewis, Charlene Lichtenstein, Sassafras Lowrey, Kelly
McCartney, Emelina Minero, Laurie K. Schenden, Stephanie
Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson, Rosanna Rios-Spicer, Stella &
Lucy, Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Steph Brusig, Meagan Cignoli, Melanie Dornier, Sophy
Holland, Syd London, Maggie Parker, Diana Price, B.
Proud, Robin Roemer, Leslie Van Stelten
CONTACT INFO
Curve Magazine
PO Box 467
New York, NY 10034
PHONE(415) 871-0569
FAX (510) 380-7487
SUBSCRIPTIONINQUIRIES(800) 705-0070 (toll-free in us only)
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ADVERTISINGEMAIL todd@curvemagazine.com
EDITORIALEMAIL editor@curvemag.com
LETTERSTO THE EDITOREMAIL letters@curvemagazine.com
MARCIE BIANCO
LYNDSEYD'ARCANGELO
Marcie is a staff writer at Mic.com and has
contributed to AfterEllen, Feministing, The
Women's Review of Books, Iris Brown Lit Mag,
HBO's Girls: Questions of Gender, Politics
and Millennial Angst, Lambda Literary,
Huffington Post, and makes frequent appearances on Huffington Post Live as an
expert on feminism, gender, and sexuality.
She is completing a memoir about lesbians
in academia, and a collection of feminist
essays. This month she interviews genderqueer model Rain Dove and black LGBT
trailblazers Aisha and Danielle Moodie-Mills.
Follow her on @MarcieBianco.
Lyndsey is a freelance writer and an
award-winning author from Buffalo, NY.She's
also a sports junkie and a baggy-clothes
wearing tomboy who isn't afraid to blog
openly about her experience as a stay-athome mom for CurveMag.com. Her latest
publication is the children's story/activity book, Maggie's Adventure: I'm Going
Over Niagara Falls In A Barrel, out in May.
For Curve she has previously interviewed
Megan Rapinoe, Brittney Griner, Fallon Fox,
and for this issue Olympic rower Ginny
Gilder and trans mom of the year Meghan
Stabler. (lyndseydarcangelo.com)
Volume 25 Issue 3 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published 6 times
per year (January/February, March/April, May/June, July/August,
September/October,
November/December)
by Avalon Media,
LLC, PO Box 467, New York NY 10034. Subscription
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6
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
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__ -__. RONT/ FEEDBACK
Didn't the perpetrator know
you're a lesbian?) Rapists and
pedophiles do not discrimi~
nate! People need to give more
support to women who have
found themselves in situations
of powerlessness, and not
always look at it through a
sexual lens. Thank you for this
article. - Name supplied.
INSIGHT INTO ABUSE
I was thankful for your article
on child sexual abuse ["Break~
ing the Silence;' Vol.25#2]
and want to thank the author
for so bravely coming out
and sharing her experience.
It doesn't matter what your
sexuality is-sexual assault
is not something you deserve
or attract. It is not about
what you wear, how smart
you are, how you act, or who
you know. It is not about sex
at all-it is about power. I
have always been a lesbian
and I am a survivor of rape,
which is something not a lot
of people understand. (How
could you have been raped?
GabrielaSanchez,Miami FL.
NOT YET EQUALLY WED
I love the "Happily Ever After"
snapshots in the Feedback sec~
tion of your magazine. I'd like to
request that you run more sto~
ries like this except longer and
with lots of pictures. My wife
and I wanted to get married in
our home state of Michigan last
year and we feel cheated that
we couldn't. Marriage equality
is an important movement,
and a right that every [same~
sex] person in America should
have, if they so choose. I believe
by showing images oflegally
wedded lesbians we strengthen
that movement and help change
hearts, minds, and eventually
laws. - Name withheld.
BODY BEAUTIFUL
I appreciated the Editor's Let~
ter ["Body Love;' Vol. 25#2],
which mentioned skinny
shaming. I have had similar
body issues my whole life. I
mostly shop at the "Juniors"
section in department stores
because women's sizes just
don't fit me. It's depressing
to feel like a whole woman
on the inside but to not be
treated like one on the outside.
I am sick of people asking me
"Don't you eat enough?" or
"Why don't you have a sand~
wicht or"Do you throw up?"
I liked all the articles in this
issue, which made me feel that
we are acceptable no matter
what size or shape we are. -
APi;~:;
;::~~~;:;~~:~;~;:~:;••••••
•,••••
IWHAT
:·.:1·1
~!~}:;;
11
over all that
~~~I;~~:;~::~:::
Ii
'.~~::'.:~:;'.'.:'.'.:'.,
:::u:se :: : : .. : : : : : :: . . : :: : : : : : :. . :
WRITE
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letters@curvemagazine.com
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MAY/JUN
Online:
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PICKS
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PRODUCTS»
»
PEOPLE
The self-described"pin-up
psychic" is full of Pride.
ON WHERE HEART AND HOME LIE:
ON DISCOVERING HER PSYCHIC
I live in Lake Arrowhead, in the
Southern California Mountains.
It's a small, tight-knit community, and even though it is very
conservative, my family and I
feel very much at home here. It
doesn't hurt that it's absolutely
beautiful! I am married to my
amazing wife, Jodi Miller, a.k.a.
the Bug Girl. She's an arachnophobic exterminator who just
fills my life with so much laughter. I have two sons, fifteen and
twelve, both very sweet, unique
and silly beyond belief. We currently have two dogs and a cat,
but we are always opening our
home to animals in need. They
are at the center of our lives.
GIFT:
I've seen things that others
cannot
see since
I can
remember. As a kid, I could tell
my mom who would be calling and why. I also saw spirits,
but those experiences mostly
terrified me. And I'd just know
things would happen before
they did. It felt like there was
something wrong with me,
so I hid this part of me away. I
graduated high school at 15
and sought a very rationally-driven life course, which
included graduating with three
Bachelor's Degrees and a
Master's Degree by the age of 21
when I began teaching political
philosophy at a local University.
I wanted a "normal" life.. When I
was going through my divorce
with my two young boys under
foot, I met my Jodi. She walked
into a local ice cream social fundraiser with this air of confidence
that made me crazy. That's when
it all began. She was the one
to help get me over my fear of
the spirit world and to embrace
myself wholly and completely.
I gave up an executive career
to become a psychic medium. I
call this my second coming out.
I am a lesbian psychic medium and that gives me a unique
perspective on life. I use my life
experiences
and education,
paired with my spiritual gifts, to
help people overcome obstacles on the path to achieving
happiness, love, and peace.
ON HER PIN-UP IDENTITY:
I've always been obsessed with
the World War II era. From an
early age, I began reading historical texts on the war and the
culture at that time. The iconic feminist image of Rosie the
Riveter signified the tremendous
influx of women entering the
workforce. So, to me, my pinup look represents the strength
and beauty of women. I'm a
girly girl, but all of the saws and
tools in my house are mine. I
just love breaking stereotypes!
(julieam.com)
TRENDS/
THE GAYD~R
p
I
!~e~ o~~y~~wRone? Let our gaydar help
~ you decide who's hot, who's not, who's
~ shaking it and who's faking 1tin lesboland.
~
BY MELANIE BARKER
~
Irene Marmott, board
member of New York's
venerable Women's
National Republican
Club, founded by
suffragists, allegedly
says lesbians are not
welcome at the club
The UK's Channel 4
continues its history of queer
programming with Shorts:
The Black lesbian Handbook,
a series of short on line films
about the black lesbian scene
in Britain
Kelly Clarkson isn't worried
if her daughter River Rose
grows up to be a lesbian,
saying "As long as she's
happy, I don't care"
A&E's thriller The Returned
sizzles with hottie Sandrine Holt
(The L Word, House of Cards)
and her ex played by Agnes
Bruckner (Breaking the Girls)
The ignorant,
transphobic
treatment of
Bruce Jenner by
entertainment
media during
Jenner's
transition
Phylicia Rashad
plays civil rightsfocused gay black
woman Georgina
Howe in the CBS
drama For Justice
directed by Se/ma's
Ava DuVernay
It's one direction
for 22-year-old
supermodel Cara
Delevingne and
it's girls, girls, girls
Is this VOGUE's
first lesbian
cover? Karlie
Kloss and Taylor
Swift play the
maybe morethan-friends thing
for all it's worth
Harley Quinn has a
lesbian tussle with
Poison Ivy in #15
of the DC Comics
series
Tig Notaro hosts the
GLAAD Media Awards in
Los Angeles. Next stop the
Oscars?
Life after Glee for Jane
Lynch, who plays the
guardian angel of another
woman in CBS pilot Angel
From Hell
Star Wars series novel Lords of
the Sith features a lesbian-
identified character named Moff
Mors (more muff?). The force is
with us!
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
11
BEAUTY
TRENDS/
Beaut
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We'd all like to be "well people." But
often we don't make the connection
between cosmetics and health.
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ingredients by a dream team of
experts: a dermatologist, a greenie
entrepreneur, and out and proud
lesbian makeup guru Shirley Pinkson
(see our profile on page 40). W311
People's products are handcrafted
with love in Santa Fe, NM.; they bear
the charming tagline "Hippie Tested.
Diva Approved"; and they contain
absolutely "no nasties"-unlike the
big cosmetic brands. Now that's
something to be proud of putting on
your face! (w311people.com)
mm
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Narcissist Stick Foundation
is no muss, no fuss makeup
that is light in texture, nongreasy, and almost invisible
once applied. ($40)
k
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12
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
I
I- I
I
----------
--and
~
------..__
Freedoffi
commitment ----'-go hand in hand.
/
Key West Womenf
September 10 - 13
womenfest.com
TheFloridaKeys
Key~st
Close To Perfect - Far from Normal
Nost GOSSIP
SAi
RUNWAYREVELATION
After
years of
playing
coy, Patricia
Velasquez, hailed as the world's first Latina
supermodel,
revealed in her new tell-all
memoir that she's a lesbian-and
we all
have comedic legend Sandra Bernhard to
thank for it.
The pair met by chance backstage at a
fashion show, and though Velasquez had
never heard of Bernhard before, there was
enough spark that they went home together that night-a
first for the Victoria's Secret
and Sports Illustrated model. And despite
HIP HOP HONEYS
Historically,
black lesbians in hip-hop
initial denial of her attraction to another
have either veered more towards the R&B
female, it wasn't long before Velasquez
sound (a la Meshell Ndegeocello), or have
stopped resisting. "I was deeply in love with
been mum about their sexuality (ahem,
Sandra," Velasquez writes, "in a way I'd nev-
Queen
er experienced before."
seems like black female rappers are possi-
Unfortunately the memoir lacks partic-
Latifah).
Nowadays,
it
bly rounding a bend when it comes to being
ularly juicy details of their time together
out and proud-not
(why, why?), but the model summarizes the
lives, but in their music too.
end of their relationship succinctly: "I cried
though,
While Angel Haze openly
lnstagrams
for two years over Sandra."
kissy photos with girlfriend Ireland Baldwin,
Well, now, who wouldn't?
she shies away from expressing her sexu-
MARTINA FOR THE WIN
Over the past few years, we've seen
St. Vincent
only in their personal
CARA'SLATESTCOUP
If you've been wondering
who super-
ality in her music, telling The Independent
model and top girl crush Cara Delevingne
last year that she "like[s] to make my work
would date after she and actress Michelle
ambiguous so that people can relate to it."
Rodriguez called it quits, wonder no more:
come
Rapper and Sisterhood of Hip Hop reality TV
it looks like indie singer-songwriter
Brittney
star Siya, on the other hand, isn't afraid to
Clark, better known by her stage name St.
Griner and U.S. Olympic soccer midfielder
do the latter: her entire song "Real MVP" is
Vincent, has snagged her heart.
Megan Rapinoe. But some, like tennis leg-
an homage to her girl.
a slew
of
out publicly,
professional
athletes
like WNBA center
end Martina Navratilova, feel that more
gay athletes should come out-not
Annie
The pair first met in December, but
In fact, Siya notes that her sexuality
stepped out publicly for the first time at
just
isn't even the main issue these days; it's
the Brit Awards this past February, and later
to improve their life, but also to improve
her masculine image. "I would do record
were spotted taking in a show in New York.
their game. Navratilova, who married her
label meetings and they would say, 'You're
"Cara and Annie were super lovey-dovey," a
longtime girlfriend this past December, ac-
so dope! You're so different!' but then they
source told Us Weekly. "They slow danced at
knowledges there are differences between
would ask, 'Can we put you in a dress? Can
the end of the show and at one point, shared
solo athletes and team sport players. Still,
we femme it up a little?"' she tells VH1. "And
a chair and were hugging and kissing."
"the fact that I came out affected me ... I
I'm not willing to change who I am for any-
As if that weren't enough, Delevingne's
was able to play better tennis and become
one, not what I look like, not what I dress
newest tattoo is none other than the simple
the person that I am," the 58-year-old ath-
like."
letters "AC."
lete told NDTV Sports. And really, who could
Some may call this baby steps, but
Four months in and already a tattoo of
argue with someone who's won 59 Grand
it's a small victory in the right direction.
your lover's initials? This is one hot couple
Slam titles?
Preach, ladies!
we've got our eye on.
14
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
TRENDS/
SHEs
"I mean, let's face it, I was
homophobic. I still catch myself
once in a while getting a little lurch
in my gut... because you grow up in
this environment ... We're in the 21st
century. It's very different... It's still not
safe. It doesn't feel safe all the time."
- Billie Jean King on In Depth
With Graham Bensinger
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
15
The Ilerstory Pride Archives
Why recording our lesbian history is important.
BY VICTORIA
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A. BROWNWORTH
Mine is the first post-Stonewall generation oflesbians, the first to be out publicly
in significant numbers. In recent years,
there has been a lot of revisionist history
about Stonewall, in large part because our
individual lesbian history is often muted
or erased. The Stonewall Veterans-the
men and women who were actually there
at the Stonewall Inn in 1969-are getting
old and dying out. And those of us who
are historians worry that not enough has
been written about them to keep them
alive for younger generations.
The person who led the Stonewall Rebellion, the first step in the modern LGBT
rights movement in America, was a lesbian-Storme
DeLarverie. As was reported
from the New York Times to the Los Angeles Times when DeLarverie died-just
weeks before Pride last year, on May 31,
16
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
2014, at the age of 93-she
claimed to
have thrown the first punch, igniting the
days of rage that led us to where we are
now. Since that night, she has claimed
her rightful place in American and lesbian history, always stating proudly what it
meant to her to do so.
Storme DeLarverie is our lesbian hero,
yet I recently had to explain who she was
to a young lesbian who had never heard
of her. The narrative this young woman
had heard about Stonewall was not factual. Lesbians weren't in the story. We are
in danger of losing the connection to our
lesbian past because so few of our stories
have been told, and women are aging and
dying, their stories locked inside them,
lost to us forever.
Like so many lesbians who have transformed our lives and our world, Storme
DeLarverie is being elided from our cultural and social history-a
history that
does not have to be rewritten by men.
We can tell our own stories. We can carry
them with us and we can pull them out to
share with our lesbian sisters.
I learned in my college women's studies
courses that we can write our own stories,
which opened up a new world of women's
achievements to me.
We can record and collect all the bits
and pieces of our lesbian history, as I
learned from Joan Nestle, who co-founded the Lesbian Herstory Archives in
1974. The Lesbian Herstory Archives is
now a small museum in Brooklyn devoted
to our lesbian lives and nothing else.
Pride is more than a concept or a good
excuse to party: It is, fundamentally, a
force of our social and cultural history.
"THtRt
ISNO
ON[TO
R[CORD
OUR
HISTORY
BUT
OURS[lV[S.
AND
I~WtDO
NOT
R[CORD
THAT
HISTORY,
WtAR[IN
DANG[R
0~B[ING
tllD[D
~ROM
IT.~ORtVtR."
''
It is about more than parades-although
Storme DeLarverie rode in a 1960s baby-blue Cadillac convertible at New York
Pride for years, the "Stonewall Lesbian"
without whom the Pride parades might
never have happened.
But shouldn't her name be known
throughout our community? We all know
who Harvey Milk is. Why isn't Storme
DeLarverie equally famous?
As Nestle said to me on more than one
occasion, there is no one to record our history but ourselves. That is what we need
to remember as we celebrate Pride this
year: We have a responsibility to future
lesbians as well as to these brave women
who paved the way for us, the foremothers of our movement, to tell our stories, to
collect and record and revisit our history.
If we do not, it will leave us less and less to
be prideful about as our singular lesbian
history-vibrant,
distinct, and oh-so-essential to our fundamental knowledge of
who we are as lesbians-becomes
conflated with that of gay men, bisexuals,
trans persons and straight people. Even
in 2015, decades after Stonewall, our lesbian lives are often misrepresented after
we die-we are rewritten as straight or
bisexual, questioning or trans. We are often no longer lesbians when others write
our stories.
So it is crucial-imperative-that
we
write our own.
Who was DeLarverie-other
than the
bravest person among the many brave
people outside the Stonewall Inn on June
28,1969?
Born in New Orleans in 1920 to a
wealthy white father and a black mother, a woman who had worked for him,
Storme DeLarverie has been referred to
as "the gay community's Rosa Parks:' She
was a butch lesbian who loved womenloved spending all her time with them. A
singer with a smoky, silky, get-you-intobed voice who performed at the legendary
Apollo Theater and at Radio City Music
Hall, she was also a handsome drag king
who was the only male impersonator in
the Jewel Box Revue-the
first integrated
drag show in the U.S. in the 1940s.
DeLarverie was a bouncer at the legendary Cubby Hole lesbian bar in New
York City, and until 2005, when she was
85 years old, she was still a bouncer,
at New York's best-known lesbian bar,
Henrietta Hudson, protecting lesbians
from the curious men who were always
eager to invade lesbian space.
DeLarverie was a fighter for lesbians. A
lesbian icon. A part of our collective history. A woman who said she'd been bullied
and beaten in the segregated South and
was not going to be bullied and beaten on
the streets of New York City.
In 1987, African American filmmaker
Michelle Parkerson made the short film
Storme: The Lady of the Jewel Box. The
film interpolates Parkerson's interviews
with DeLarverie at her home in Chelsea
with archival clips from DeLarverie's past.
Parkerson's film is itself a jewel in which
DeLarverie sparkles.
Sam Bassett, a New York photographer and filmmaker and a longtime friend
of DeLarverie, made the documentary
Storme in 2008. He said the continuum of history was essential and noted,
"Rosa Parks equals Storme DeLarverie
equals Martin Luther King equals Barack
Obama equals our united future:' Bassett
said of DeLarverie before her death, "She
is so rare, a beautiful butterfly. But like all
beautiful butterflies, they are delicate:'
So is our lesbian history-delicate,
ephemeral, easily lost to us. This year as
we celebrate Pride, we must all take responsibility for loving each other enough
to hold on to our history, to remember
that our present is the next generation's
past. Our lesbian past is the foundation
for our lesbian future-we
must embrace
it just as Storme DeLarverie embraced
her lesbianism, with pride fierce enough
to start a movement. •
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
17
Lesbian
Dollars and Sense
According to Luna Jaffe, lesbians can use resourcefulness
instead of resources to build a life of plenty.
BY GILLIAN KENDALL
Luna Jaffe is in love with money. And
she wants to share the love with her clients,
especially those who don't think they're
good at managing their own finances.Jaffe, a
financial planner who lives with her partner
in Portland, Ore., says that her profession
puts her in touch with a whole spectrum of
people, including many lesbians.
To coach and advise them, Jaffe uses
skills from her earlier lines of work-she
was a fine artist and a therapist before be~
coming a certified financial planner-to
help clients take a creative approach to
money. She says, "I see women choosing
to be more resilient, even if they're living
on a minimal income. I teach clients to
use their resourcefulness instead of their
resources to build a life that has more
18
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
plenty in ir:'
For example, Jaffe describes Megan, a
client from Texas,* "who's operating as if
she has a fair amount more money than she
does. I told her she couldn't afford to draw
down on the accounts she has by more than
$5,000 per year, because if she did that she
would be out of money by the time she's
72. That didn't make her feel good, but it's
actually motivated her to say,'OK, I do have
to keep working, because I want to go the
Michigan Womyn's Music Festival this year:
I'm going too, so that means I have to work
extra days before I go and extra days when I
get back.
"Megan made a good choice. She's learn~
ing where she's willing to compromise and
where she's not. Giving up the Michigan fes~
rival was not a choice she was
willing to make. Instead, she
decided to sublet her apart~
ment and move in with a friend
for six months, to save that ex~
pense and have more freedom.
She had that ability to make
choices and act on them.
"But putting her head in
the sand and saying, 'La la la,
I'm going to the festival on my
credit card' would not have
been a good idea. That kind of
thing is very common, but it's
not fiscally responsible.
'J\nother couple was just
here-one is 61 and her part~
ner is 54. They're both su~
per~fit. They weigh about 100
pounds each and they bike
lO0~mile races together. One
of them, Bree* is a vet with a
large animal sanctuary, and she
wants to retire in two years.
Her partner, Barbara*, is really
attached to the working world,
but they've both talked about
wanting more time to be together, and to
be doing things together that are not about
the rat race. So I did some projections to see
what would happen if they both retired in
five years, and it turned out that they could
both live very comfortably. Bree was a lit~
de stunned. She said, 'Really? I could stop
working in a few years?' I told her that not
only could she stop, but the projections
show that if she lived till she was 100, as
long as Barb didn't live to be 120, she'd have
several million dollars left!
"So I get to play both sides. For some di~
ents, I get to say,'You don't have to work for
the rest of your life; and with other people I
have to say,'You're not being realistic about
your money. You have to make choices:"
Along with coaching clients who want
to increase their wealth, she also encourag~
es those who want to become resourceful
without using money. She says, ''I've seen
some success when women become en~
trepreneurial with their homes. Air B&B
is one of the best ways to do that. I've also
seen people sharing or swapping houses.
For example, I have some friends who have
a half acre of land around their house, and
so they invited their neighbors to garden in
their yard. They all work on it together, and
they all harvest it together. They want to live
v1Ews1AD
with great food:'
won't open up, and then you'll be missing a
lot of the juiciness of doing the work, if you
Does everyone need a financial advisor or
planner:' "Honestly;' Jaffe says, "most people
don't feel that you can be vulnerable.
"People ask me, If you're in the LGBTQ
could benefit from it, if they were willing to
community, shouldn't you work with somemake it a value and put their money into it.
In other words, it's like asking, Do you in- body in the community:' My answer is that
it's less important to work with somebody
vest in your own wellness program:' Most of
us would benefit from taking excellent care who is in the community than it is to work
with someone who understands the comof our bodies through both fitness and numunity. There are some very good planners
trition, though some of us need that more
than others, because some of us are natuout there who are straight, but who really
rally more fit than others. And the same is get it, and are aligned with the LGBTQ
community. To me, the question is: How
true for money. We all have a body, and we
well do they understand the issues that we
all have a relationship with money.
have:' If they get it, then good!"
"First, though, let's make the distinction
Some of the issues specific to gay wombetween a financial advisor and a financial
en, Jaffe says, include the complexity of how
planner. A financial advisor usually is going
lesbian relationships begin and end. Until
to work with you only if you already have
recently, we haven't had the legal structures
assets to manage. So, typically, you can hire
that have been available to straight coua financial planner to develop your financial
ples. So the joinings and endings can be
literacy, as well as get a clear picture of where
very messy.
you are, where you want to go, and how you
want to get there. There's also a money
''An interesting thing is happening now
coach, who helps you become accountable.
that [gay] people can get married. There's
a bit of a rush to get married, without an
A coach is a good choice for somebody who
has no assets and is trying to get
to a [different] place, whether you
are getting out of debt or just navigating the day-to-day, month-tomonth, dollars-and-sense stuff."
Receive Money with Grace - Money
Finding the right financial
comes into our lives in many ways, but do
consultant takes time and efyou ever stop to think about how it feels
fort, Jaffe says. "The best way is
and what impact those feelings have on the
to ask for referrals from people.
inflow of money? Shifting your attitude and
So you call a minimum of three
awareness in this arena can dramatically
[potential advisors] and have a
change the flow of money in your life.
conversation, asking: How do
you work with people:' What is
Spend with Intention - In the world of
your background:' Why do you
electronic banking and credit cards, it's
do this work:' And always ask
hard to feel connected to the money you
how they're paid. Anybody who
spend. Recognize triggers for unconscious
dodges that question should be
spending and replace old habits with new,
eliminated from the list, because
healthy, sustainable actions so that more
it's important.
of your money is nurtured, grown, and
''After you've asked those quesprotected.
tions, had those conversations,
when you leave that office, do a
Nurture Your Nest Egg - This mandate
body check and note how you
implores you to take stock of your past
feel in your guts, because a lot
assumptions about saving and investing so
of times people are very condeyou can create ways to keep your tuckedscending, or they talk over you, or
away money warm and growing.
they make you feel judged. Even
if their words aren't judgmental,
Give with Guts - Examine your patterns
you might have a feeling of havof giving, the underlying emotions, and
ing been judged-and
you don't
the impact your giving has on you. This
want to work with that person!
It's just not a safe place, so you
understanding that you have to get divorced if you don't stay together. So I like
to talk to people about how those choices
impact their money.
''Another challenge for lesbians is about
beneficiaries, being clear about what you are
doing with your legacy. We might not necessarily want to just pass everything along
to family, because family hasn't always supported us. But if you don't do estate planning, if you don't pay attention to whether
your beneficiary designations are named,
you may be giving to your family only because you defaulted on that responsibility.
"People have the opportunity to be charitable with their beneficiary designations. If
you' re single, for example, and have no kids,
is there an LGBTQ organization that you
are particularly fond of:' Why not support
it, why not put your money back into the
community that has been benefitting you or
has worked toward things you care about:"'
(lunajaffe.com). •
*Names have been changed
LUNA'S
LAWS
mandate inspires sustainable giving
practices that align with your values
and gives you permission to care for
yourself while also serving the world.
Protect Your Wild Places - Know how
to respond to a personal financial crisis
and be prepared for the unexpected.
Protect your income, assets, and family
by understanding insurance products
and estate planning. Assess what
areas need to be shored up and how to
prioritize competing needs.
Grow Your Gold - No one would plant
a garden with only one crop because
it's risky, not to mention boring.
Yet, many do exactly this with their
portfolios. Shift out of fear and into
curiosity and learn how to plant, tend,
and prune your investments.
From Wild Money: A Creative
Journey to Financial Wisdom by Luna
Jaffe (Fortunity Press 2013)
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
19
VIEWS/TWO
OF
in public during daylight hours-didn't
our photos. At that point we were still
actually occur for a few months, but in
gushing over the wedding and were eager
press Pause. We are constantly looking for
reality we've been attached at the hip since
to share our story and photos with anyone
ways to elevate the conversation and our
the night we met.
who wanted to listen.
community through a variety of platforms.
ONGETTING
MARRIED
DANIELLE: Thousands of people
AISHA: After the first two or three years,
commented and liked the post, and to my
HOW
THEY
RESOLVE
DIFFERENCES
we had pretty much assumed we were
surprise 90 percent of the comments were
AISHA: Two passionate women who
going to spend our lives together. Marriage
also about the beauty of the event, gushing
are highly opinionated, and God forbid
at that time wasn't an option for us in
over the brides, the decor and accessories,
hormonal at the same time, are bound
D.C.-though we were later instrumental
and the "pretty" of it all. The fact that so
to disagree. And we argue as fervently
as we love. My undergrad degree just so
DANIELLE: For us, there is no time to
Change waits for no woman!
in securing marriage equality in D.C.-but
many people ultimately got wrapped up
we had decided to become domestic
in who we were and the beautiful party
happens to be in psychology, so we also
partners. Besides that, getting married
we threw, rather than what we were, was
overprocess and overanalyze every damn
was not a huge imperative for me. I didn't
telling. Everyone can relate to love and
thing to death. As Danielle's Jamaican
grow up attached to the fanciful princess
glamour. Pretty pictures say more than a
people would say, both the charm and the
fairytales of a big white dress and a crew
thousand words or protests.
chafe of being in a lesbian relationship is
of girls lined up around me in taffeta
that we "chat too much"!
dresses. But, oh, Danielle did! She was
ONLIFE
INWASHINGTON,
D.C.
definitely the more traditional of us and
DANIELLE: We find politics incredibly
DANIELLE: Yes, we fight, but I think the
very much expected a proper proposal,
intoxicating-each
years have really proven a great teacher
of us came to this city
replete with the asking of the parents for
because we believe that we can make a
to us-we fight a lot more effectively and
her hand in marriage, and an epic wedding
difference and that our voices are only as
thoughtfully now, and have learned to
and reception. And I delivered. In our fifth
limited as our desire to be heard. After
understand each other's languages and
year together something came over me,
the outpouring of love and positivity
needs a lot better now than we did 10
sparked by training for and running my first
we received upon sharing our photos,
years ago.
marathon with Danielle, and I knew I was
we realized there was an incredible
ready. And in true Aisha fashion, I spent six
opportunity to bring up other issues,
months literally obsessing over-make that
beyond marriage, that are affecting LGBT
ADVICE
FOR
WOMEN
WHO
WORK
AND
LOVE
TOGETHER
people of color. Frankly, we were tired
AISHA: Strive to be true partners,
of hearing and seeing white affluent gay
committed to and invested in each other's
"researching"-the
perfect diamond for her
and staging the moment.
men have conversations about "their
interests, hopes, and ambitions-especially
DANIELLE: I never felt that being a lesbian
rights," and yet no one was talking to or
career ambitions. When Danielle and I
was going to stop me from creating the
about the people who are most adversely
read our wedding vows, which we had
life I had imagined for myself since I was a
affected by discriminatory policies-
written separately, we found that both of
little girl-the
LGBT people of color, especially black
us had made declarations to always share
characters might be different
but the commitment to love each other
lesbian couples living with children.
in each other's dreams, and to dream big
and to build a family would be the same. I
So, we started the Fighting Injustice to
for each other. That has been everything
love that my wife said running a marathon
Reach Equality Initiative at the Center for
to me, and the foundation of how we are
made her propose-well,
American Progress, the largest progressive
able to climb and strive, and expand our
a couple that
works out together stays together! We
organization in the country. Through our
profiles. We always come back to a sense
trained for six months and I do think there
work and Aisha's strategic leadership over
of shared purpose, that when one rises, we
is something about working together
the initiative, we have been able to bring
all rise, and that's what drives us forward.
toward an enormous goal and learning to
conversations about the policies affecting
It's important to always maintain the
lean on each other that can set you up for
LGBT people of color from the margins of
perspective that each partner's success is a
marriage, so I'm glad I convinced her to
our society into the mainstream.
brick in the foundation of the
family's legacy.
run with me-and we've been "on the run"
ever since.
ONWORKING
TOGETHER
AISHA: I find that being a team makes the
DANIELLE: It's important to hold each
ONTHEIR
ESSENCE
MAGAZINE
WEDDING
SPREAD
work easier and more fun. Danielle and I
other up and be invested in dreaming BIG
work on most things together-it's
together-everything
AISHA: That moment was truly
invigorating to be able to exchange ideas,
in the kind of legacy we want to leave
transformational for us in that it really
strategies, and tactics, and "manifest" our
behind-we
opened our eyes to the power of images,
vision together. The constant challenge
matter. So, my advice is to find what
and the power we have to change hearts
is balancing work while nurturing our
matters to you collectively, as a unit, and
and minds and shift culture through media.
marriage. We have to make a conscious
keep coming back to that truth. And,
We were connected to Essence by GLAAD
effort to turn off the business and turn on
above all else, honor each other, always!
and asked if we were interested in sharing
the romance.
(moodiemills.com). •
really
for us is steeped
want our life and work to
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
21
Penis Alert
any of this, babe. You're freaking out be-
How to deal with a dose of dick envy.
cause you're making this all about you. Your
BY LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
ego is, like, "Whoa! I don't have a wiener,
Lipstick: You need not be threatened by
so she's going to leave me!" What you need
to do is chill out. Sexuality is never wrong.
It's not something one should feel shame
Dear Lipstick & Dipstick:
Help! My soft butch fiance, Jesse, is looking at penis pies
on the Internet and watching blowjob porn. I found out by
looking at the history on my computer and was horrified.
According to her, she's a total lesbian, but this is the second
time I know of that she's done this. She has told me that she
in no way, shape, or form wants to become a man, so it's not
penis envy. What should I do?
-Jealous of the Jewels
about. It should be celebrated, no matter
whose it is or what it looks like. And it's
never cut and dry. We're all a little bisexual-even the butchest dyke, the nelliest
queen, the straightest tobacco-chewing
truck driver, or the most prudish missionary-style housewife. Getting turned on by
a little peen is no big whoopie. Lots of lezzies, including yours truly, get off on seeing
a little cockadoody or gay porn. Kinky is in!
Dipstick: Oh Lipstick, why is it that so many
dykes are turned on by gay men getting
off? I've never understood it.
Lipstick: Are you telling me you don't get a
little woody when you see hot boy-on-boy
action? I find that hard [ahem] to believe.
Dipstick: Once. But I was with a girlfriend.
I'll never forget how assertive she became
in the bedroom after watching two hairy
wrestlers steam up the sauna. Regardless,
like you, Lipstick, I do think the femme
fiancee has nothing to fear. This butch babe
is like most women-if
they're honest-and
is simply having a fantasy or two about
what it would feel like to have a temporary
appendage. Let Jesse indulge her fantasy
in peace. Fiancee, now that you know she
has this proclivity, I can think of an amazing
honeymoon treat you can surprise her
with ...
Lipstick: Don't keep us hanging, Dip!
Just because your girl doesn't want to transition, she still might be green-eyed with
penis envy. Doesn't everyone wish they had
a pork sword, even just for one night?
Dear Lipstick & Dipstick: I need some
couples advice. Recently, my girlfriend Julie
broke up with me. She said that she needed
to do what was best for her. This was not
the first time she'd broken up with me. The
very next day after our previous break-up,
I messed around with another girl. Julie
came back and we have been trying to
work through this: Both of us feel differently
about the situation. I feel as though I was
22
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
VIEWS/
pushed away and, being that I was single,
you're not at fault here-you
what I did was OK. She feels that if I truly
a breather. What Julie needs to realize is
were taking
loved her I wouldn't have been able to
that your fooling around with someone
mess around with someone else. Am I the
else was probably BECAUSEyou were in
only one at fault here? What can we do to
love with her, not an indication that you
get past this?-We Were on a Break!
weren't. You were dumped and you were
looking for a distraction from your pain.
Dipstick: Lipstick, do you remember that
People do it all the time. What concerns
Friends episode where Ross and Rachel
me most about this is how manipulative
have the same argument?
Julie is being and how she's not willing to
take any responsibility for her own actions.
Lipstick: Totally! The one where uber-sen-
She just wants to blame everything on
sitive Ross, after Rachel tells him they
you! Obviously, you can't undo what you
need to take a break, gets drunk and
did. Maybe, in hindsight, you'd have acted
sleeps with that cute copy girl?
differently if you'd known she was going
to take you back. I say, if Julie truly loved
Dipstick: That's the one. And insecure
YOU, she would try to see your point of
Rachel never let him forget it. Like Ross,
view on this and move on.
Lipstick: Preach, Dip! Julie dumped you,
Breaker, don't forget that. It was rebound
sex and you were looking for a little
comfort, a little reassurance, a little heart
"Wt'Rt
All AllTTlt
BIStXUAl-rVtN
THt
BUTCHtST
DYKt.
lOTS
0~ltZZltS
GtTO~~
ON
SttlNG
AllTTlt
COCKADOODY."
salve. You don't tell us what YOUR chronic
relationship issues are, but I assume that
being dumped over and over again is be-
coming one of them. Julie needs to grow
out of her insecurities and realize that she
can't have you both ways.
Do you have a burning
''
question for Lipstick
& Dipstick? Write to
ask@lipstickdipstick.com
LIPSTICK+DI
PS
st
PROFILE
INC.ASE
YOU
l\fISSED
IT ...
~
-
Wendy LaChaunce
Ona Mission24/7» Florida
Today, fear isn't a big part of Wendy LaChaunce's
everyday life. But it wasn't always that way. In 1989, when
>-
z
e
she came out to her family, the best she could do was to
try not to show it.
THE
REV.
ANN
KANSFIELD
OF
THE
"Although it was a pretty big deal to me, it was not
a big deal to anyone else," she says. "The big thing for
Greenpoint Reformed Church in Brooklyn, N.Y.,has become the first openly lesbian chaplain-and the first
woman-to be sworn 1nas a chaplain of the New York
City Fire Department. Kansfield, who was drawn to the
seminary after the attacks of 9-11,will be one of three
Protestant ministers, three Catholic priests, and one
Jewish rabbi serving New York City firefighters.
me was, now I had told them, there was no more hiding
anything from them: I knew without a doubt that their
love for me was unconditional."
And that love set LaChaunce on a worldwide course of
community service, embracing the weakest and sickest
among us-a journey she is still on today.
By day, LaChaunce is a registered respiratory technologist, inspired in this work by her mom, who was a
registered nurse. But by night, and in most of her other
ANEW
STUDY
FROM
free moments, LaChaunce volunteers her time (and pays
the UK's Human Fert1l1sat1on
and
Embryology Authority shows that
from 2003 to 2012 there has been a
fourteen-fold increase In the number
of babies born to lesbian couples
In the UK who used IVF treatment
The study shows that almost a
thousand lesbian couples underwent
IVF treatment In 2012 (the most
recent year for which statIstIcs are
available), and that In the 10-year
period 2003-12, 1,388 children were
born to lesbian couples util1z1ng
IVF treatment Researchers believe
that the number of children born to
lesbians In the UK Is even higher, as
the study dousn't account for the
single lesb1an-1dent1f1ed
women who
used IVF treatment to conceive
her own way) to travel around the globe doing medical
missionary work. From a remote village on the Amazon
River in Peru, to small communities in several African
countries, LaChaunce has worked with drug addicts,
alcoholics, HIV patients, and victims of rape and sexual
abuse, helping each individual by offering any support
she could provide. She's formed bonds of immeasurable
strength.
LaChaunce recalls meeting a woman in Uganda who
was overwhelmed that LaChaunce had traveled such a
long way to help African women. It was she herself who
was honored, LaChaunce told the Ugandan woman, and,
in parting, handed her a small gift.
"Before my grandmother passed, she asked me to
find a good home for her cross," recalls LaChaunce. "I
could not think of a better person to share the spirit of my
grandmother with than this beautiful Ugandan woman."
WHEN KRISTAAND JAMI
Overseeing the Outreach Pillar at her church,
LaChaunce has also participated in many local volunteer
endeavors, from hosting youth and LGBTevents, to coordinating clothing and back-to-school giveaways.
"If we open our eyes, take a moment to see, listen with
our ears, hear what others are saying, then we can make
a difference in our own little world," she says. "People
forget that we only get one go-around in this life. I choose
love. It's just as simple as that:' By Sheryl Kay
24
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
~
~
~
~
Contreras, a lesbian couple In
M1ch1gan,took their six-day-old
daughter, Bay Windsor Contreras,
for a scheduled first vIsIt to her
ped1atric1an,Dr Vesna Roi, another
doctor from the pediatric group told
them that Dr Roi had decided she
wouldn't treat the infant Dr Roi's
colleague reported that she had
"prayed on" the issue and decided
she couldn't treat a baby with
lesbian parents Nearly four
months later, Dr Roi wrote the
Contrerases a letter stating,
"After much prayer following
your prenatal [v1s1t],I felt that I
would not be able to develop
the personal patient doctor
relat1onsh1pthat I normally
do with my patients" Such
d1scrim1nat1onagainst LGBTQ
fam1l1esIs legal In Michigan
CHILD
WELFARE
OFFICIALS
In the state of Nebraska have
announced a change In the twodecade-old policy that barred
gay and lesbian couples from
becoming foster parents Moving
forward, the state of Nebraska will
not take into cons1derat1on the
sexual orientation of 1nd1v1duals
seeking to adopt or foster
children Meanwhile, a lawsuit
on behalf of three same-sex
couples who were not allowed
to adopt children or obtain foster
care licenses continues The
couples are represented by the
ACLU, and the state Is defending
its ant1-LGBTQpolicy In court
By Sassafras Lowrey
"Asimply
stunning
coming-of-age
story:'
(:
Planet
London
IMAGJ•:+NATIONFIIJIFl:SI'
This beautiful drama from Monika Treut
deftly unfolds the coming-of-age
of
rebellious teen Alex. Sent away to a horse
farm in the country, Alex keeps up her bad
girl ways but is gradually enamored with the
horses - and with the resident lesbian riding
instructor, Nina. As Nina tries to help Alex find
purpose and maturity, the arrival of
privileged young equestrian Kathy presents
new challenges as Alex grapples with her
longing for love and connection.
German with subtitles.
~
Wolfe
'
>ECLAL.JURYMENTION~
lllHECTOltMONIKATREUT,
\LTOILsCECI
semiITZ-CIIUH
AND ALISSAWILMS
-
"Subtle
andstartling"
AherEl/en
"Heartfelt"
Image
Out
This high-energy romantic road movie co-stars the beautiful
Sinha Gierke (It's Not Over) as aspiring law student Lucca,and
the stunning Verena Wustkamp as her new friend Valerie.
Irresistible chemistry blossoms between them as the two
women embark on a wild adventure to
deliver the ashes of recently deceased
friend Herma to her final resting place against the wishes of Herma'sfamily.
"Aquirky
romance
drama:'
Autostraddle
_,..
i
A Girl W-ho Roams
The B-52s' iconic Kate Pierson goes solo.
BY KELLY MCCARTNEY
t's hard to believe that the B-52s will mark their 40th
anniversary next year. With one of the most recognizable voices of her generation, a voice that floats atop
some of the best classic novelty songs in all of music,
Kate Pierson, a founding member of the B-52s, long
ago carved out her place in the pop pantheon. If she-and
the B-52s-never
again recorded new music, "Rock Lobster;'
"Love Shack," "Roam," and "Deadbeat Club" would be their
lasting legacy. Luckily, even with all those credits to her name,
Pierson is far from ready to retire. In fact, she recently released
her first-ever solo album, Guitars and Microphones, an adventure she has long wanted to undertake.
I
26
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
"I tried to do one about 12 years ago. I wrote a whole solo
album and recorded some of it, even did a little tour with Sara
Lee and Gail Ann Dorsey," Pierson recalls. "So, I was ready to
do it, but then the B-52s started Funplex and I got caught up
in that, which was all-encompassing:' When the band did take
one extended break from their touring schedule, Pierson filled
the gap with NiNa, a project that trekked successfully through
Japan in 1999, but the album was never released in the U.S.
All along the way, Pierson says, "I kept writing and doing my
own stuff. It all brought me to this point. It's all good. I guess
the time is now. The planets are aligned and here I am:'
One of the "planets" that are now in lucky alignment is a
REVIEWS/MUSIC
friendship-turned-collaboration
with Sia, the Australian singer-songwriter whose work can be found all over the Billboard
charts. Pierson's partner, Monica Coleman, suggested that she
ask Sia to help get the solo project going.
"She gave me a big jump-start because she started writing
for herself with her different collaborators and she wrote three
songs, right off the bat, for me;' Pierson explains. "After that,
we went on writing sessions together with Dallas Austin and
Tim Anderson and Nick Valensi and Chris Braide. And we
just got a great song every time. It was like magic.
"Sia taught me a lot about a different kind of songwriting,
which is just more ... with the B-52s, we'd go into a sort of
trance with a jam. This was more like forming the lyrics to the
melody, instead of trying to think of them at the same time.
Even though I had lyrics, those were kind of retrofitted to the
melodies:'
The first melody released off the new set is "Mister Sister;'
a song about gender identity, which Pierson approaches with
an absolute understanding and embrace of the issue, because
it's one that's close to her heart. "My friend Allen, also known
as Tangela, we used to do shows at Wigstock, and we always
used to call each other Mister Sister," Pierson says. "And
I thought it was a great metaphor for gender fluidity and I
wanted to write a song about a young boy-or
it could be a
girl-who
had gender dysphoria and wasn't liking what they
saw in the mirror. Just that kind of power of transformation-
becoming who they wanted to be and being accepted for that:'
The idea of "becoming who they wanted to be and being
accepted for that" has always been part of Pierson's-as
well as
the B-52s' -very queer sensibility. It's just that now the rest of
the world seems to be catching up. "It's a very accepting time.
Thank goodness things are changing;' Pierson notes. "Now, finally, things are changing for trans people. I think that issue
is important now and is kind of the final frontier of acceptance-giving
trans people their rights and their recognition:'
Pierson applies that philosophy of becoming and acceptance
to her own life, as well. So, in 2003, when she fell in love with
Coleman and became what she calls "a late-in-life lesbian;' she
just went with it. "I think it was easy, because for me gender
was always kind of fluid. I'd always been with men, but when
I met Monica, it just seemed like, 'Wow. This is it: So it just
seemed like a very fluid transition for myself, too;' Pierson
muses. "I didn't even feel like, 'Oh, I have to come out: It was
just a natural flow:'
Shecontinues,"Peoplealwayssaytheywerethelasttoknow,or
that kind of thing. But I heard Alan Cumming talking about-I
really am bisexual, I guess-but
he said it's important to him
to say gay, because it gets into this whole question of 'What
are your' And people think of it as this sort of hard line that's
drawn. To me, it wasn't like, 'Wow. I've been looking all along!'
Or something like that. To me, it was easy. Love is love to me."
(katepierson.com). •
REV1Ews1MUSIC
HOT
LICKS
))BYKELLYMCCARTNEY
Daphne
Willis
Live
toTry
(Pleoge
Music)
From the fun-loving pop of 'The Big Picture" to the blue-eyed soul of "Every
Step" to the retro bop of "Stay," DaphneWillis has crafted an impossibly eclectic,
yet thoroughly cohesive set with her new Live to Try. On some cuts, Willis pulls
off soulful pop like a proud musical sister to Jason Mraz. On others, her lineage
reaches out to encompass the likes of Paloma Faith and, in a stretch, Justin
Timberlake. The kid can sing, no doubt about that. And the whimsical production
of Live to Try is perfectly befitting of the playful melodies, leaning into funky and
slipping into slinky when it needs to. There's nothing heavy about this collection.
It's just feel-good music for hanging out with friends and laughing... a lot. One
spin through "You Make Me Wanna" proves that fact and all but dares you not
to bop your head.
ltVE
toTRY
daphne wiLLis
Missy
Higgins
Oz
(Eleven)
For her fourth studio outing, Australian singer/songwriter Missy Higgins has
chosen to pay tribute to the music of her homeland. Among the 15 tracks are
cuts by Paul Kelly, the Drones, the Blackeyed Susans, the Go-Betweens, and
Slim Dusty. But, much like Joan Osborne did with the soul classics of How Sweet
It Is, Higgins all but disregards the original renderings and translates these tunes
into her musical native tongue - pretty. It's a lovely album if taken on face value
and within the contemporary context of Higgins' catalog. Indeed, not knowing
the historical sources or past performances of these songs might well serve
and simplify the listener's enjoyment of them written out in Higgins' smooth
hand. For others, though, Higgins' rounding of the once rough and ragged edges
may cut a bit too deep. Either way, it's hard to deny that it's a bold and beautiful
tribute made by a very talented artist.
Garrison
Starr
The
Forgotten
Street
(One
less
Traveleo
Music)
So many artists think they need 10 songs in order to make a record so,
inevitably, about half of them are good and half of them are ... not as good.
That, however, is not the case with Garrison Starr's The Forgotten Street.
Though only five cuts long, this short-form release takes the listener on a
beautiful journey. From the title on down, the EP's first track, "Halfway
Whole," is one of Starr's best-ever efforts. (And she has some pretty stellar
tunes in her catalog.) Tender and melancholy, though not at all hopeless, it
begs questions and leaves plenty of room for answers to come on their own
terms. The song is so stunning that everything that follows has to struggle out
of its shadow, but the other four cuts step up to meet the challenge. In fact,
"In the Silence" and "Closer My Love" both come very close to matching the
perfection of "Halfway Whole."
28
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MAY/JUN
2015
The love they shared came with
secrecy, political intrigue, and
heartache. Terry Mutchler tells
her story in a new book.
BY VICTORIA
A. BROWNWORTH
T
erry Mutchler never expected to write a book
about her dead partner. But then Terry Mutch~
ler never expected, when she was only 32, that
Penny Severns, her partner of the past five
years, would die of cancer at the peak of her
career as an Illinois state senator and while Mutchler herself
was in law school.
"I had to write the book;' she told me in an interview on a
bright spring day in Philadelphia, where she is now an attor~
ney at a prestigious law firm. "I had to write it because I was
afraid I would forget Penny. I was afraid I would forget all
our stories. It was," Mutchler says, "grief therapy. I was afraid
I would forget this incredibly beautiful woman I was deeply
in love with:'
Mutchler met Sen. Penny Severns when she was a young
reporter. Their love affair was intense, and within weeks they
were living together. In secret. Because in 1993, there was no
place for them to be out and still have their chosen careers.
That same year, I became the first out lesbian with a newspa~
per column in a daily newspaper. That's how different things
were then.
"This story is a very personal story," Mutchler explains, as
we discuss how young lesbians were just being born when
30
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
she and Severns were liv~
ing together but keeping
their
"marriage"-Mutch~
ler considered Severns her
spouse-a
secret. She says,
"The common denominator
is, whether you are a millen~
nial or another generation
of lesbian, the consequences
of not telling the truth will
haunt you:'
Mutchler says that when
she considers how her life
unraveled,
youth
is the
wrong barometer. "One of
the things of being so young
when this happened is that I
had no co~ordinates on this.
The night Penny died was
very brutal. I couldn't talk
to her the way I wanted and
needed to:'
Severns
had
started
her political career at 25,
working for the U.S. State
Department as a special as~
sistant to the administrator
of the Agency for Interna~
tional Development. Com~
ing out was not feasible.
While at the State Depart~
ment, she was also a fellow
at the Smithsonian Institu~
tion. From there she entered
Illinois politics, first on the
Decatur City Council, then in the state Senate. There were
only a handful of out politicians in the entire country, and one,
Harvey Milk, had already been assassinated.
But then Terry met Penny, and had she not died, who knows
what would have happened. But Penny Severns did die, and
that's when Terry Mutchler's life began to unravel.
"I was locked out of my own house, everything was taken
from me;' she says, her voice remarkably calm and devoid of
outrage. "I lost everything-Penny,
our home, our life togeth~
er, everything that belonged to us:'
She explains that Severns's family even kept the sympathy
cards that had been sent to Mutchler. The lowest, pettiest
blow she could imagine. She had become a non~person in her
own life.
Now happily partnered with another woman, Mutchler has
moved on from the pain and long~term suffering of her loss
and its aftermath. And out of that pain has come a singular
lesson: "We have to tell the truth about our lives:'
Mutchler says she has learned that nothing is ever so small
that we should just let it go-and
that we have to solidify our
roles as "family" to our lesbian partners and friends, even if the
state hasn't given its blessing.
"I think that the mantra is 'All politics is personal,'" Mutch~
REVIEWS/
ler says. 'Tm reticent to craft a message that [my memoir]
is really about truth telling. But I've been shocked at the
number of people who have written to me for whom this
book resonated:'
Mutchler tells two stories-one
in which she and her
current partner are looking for a house together and they
are open and out with their realtor, who has read Mutchler's
memoir and is determined to find the couple the perfect
house. In the other tale, Mutchler goes to pay a parking
ticket for her partner and is told by the clerk that she can't,
because she's not family. Mutchler goes to the clerk's super~
visor. After apologies to her, the ticket is paid and the clerk
reprimanded.
"We can't let anything go;' she explains, her voice sudden~
ly filled with emotion. "You think, 'Pick your battles: But
these are all our battles. We have to make ourselves present
and seen and not be dismissed as 'friends' or 'sisters:"
Mutchler has been on a book tour and is speaking at uni~
versities. She says, "Young people are almost shocked that
there is a story like this to tell. They want to know 'What
can my generation do2'"
She pauses. "This generation can tell the truth-if
you
are gay, lesbian, transgender, tell the truth about your life.
BOOKS
Make sure that people know that you are not shying away
from living out loud. That your life matters and is valuable:'
It is no wonder that Mutchler spiraled into despair after
the trauma of Severns's death-she
was not even allowed
to sit near the family at the funeral. The recovery took time
and energy, but she came out of it a sort of phoenix, ready
not just to rise from the emotional conflagration that had
destroyed her previous life, but ready to tell her story and
urge others to tell theirs. She notes that much of what hap~
pened to her was due to "the consequences of not having
a voice, not speaking a voice:' She adds, revealing another
truth, "As a victim of sexual assault, I had a high tolerance
for secrecy and the pain of silence. Your instincts are to do
what's expected:'
But she argues against that-against
the acceptance of
suffering to maintain a straight status quo. "My lover dying,
being locked out of my home;' Mutchler explains, "was terri~
ble. But what was MY role in this:' Terry had a direct role in
her own demise here. I had to discover that and deal with it:'
For anyone who might consider dismissing her story as
unique, Mutchler suggests that you think again. "I hope that
another person never has to experience what I did. I hope
this story will give you pause:'•
HOT
READS
))BYVICTORIA
A.BROWNWORTH
Under
This
Beautiful
Dome:
ASenator,
AJournalist,
and
thePolitics
ofGay
Love
inAmerica
ByTerry
Mutchler
(Seal
Press)
¾
Don't judge a book by its title. If Under This Beautiful Dome: A Senator, A Journalist, and the
Politics of Gay Love in America seems like LGBTboilerplate, don't be fooled. This is one of those
memoirsthat look deceptivelysmooth and surfacey, but this one sucker-punchesyou from page4,
where, without knowing much of anythingabout the lesbiancouple at the center of this story, your
eyes are wellingwith tears.
Terry Mutchler was 27 when she met Sen. PennySeverns in 1993,and right from the first they
were in love. Mutchler was a reporter and Severns was a rising star in the Democratic Party of
Illinois-at the sametime that the state had another rising star, Barack Obama.Severns might have
THIS
been propelledinto the governor'spost or into nationalpolitics if she hadn'tdied of metastatic breast
cancer in 1998.
BEAUTIFUL
As a reporter and a politician in the early 1990s, Mutchler writes, "Instead of simply being able
to
enjoy this newfound happiness-or have time to explore our feelings for each other...we were
DOME
immediatelythrust into planningmode,forced to create lies to camouflageour true lives." Because
ASENATOR,AJOURNAltST,ANDTHEPOLITICSOFGAYLOVEINAMERICA
a mere 20 years ago, staying in the closet was the norm. So even though Mutchler moved in with
TERRY
MUTCHLER
Severnsjust six weeks after they started seeingeach other, they always hid morethan they revealed
about the relationship.
Severns'sdeathwould leaveMutchlerdevastated.It would also leaveher homelessand bereft-not just of Pennyandtheir life together
over the years, but bereft of everythingthey owned and sharedtogether-the art, the tiny specialthings, a cherry table they designedto
match a set of chairs they'd found on an antiquingtrip to Champaign.WhenSevernswas dying, Mutchlerwould wheel her to that table in
their home-it is one of her last memoriesof a shared possessionthat was taken from her.
In 2015,1998seems like a longtime ago. Bill Clintonwas still president,9/11hadn't happened,we were not entrenchedin two endless
wars. It was a political lifetimeago nationally,and also for LGBTpeople.Ellenhadjust come out publiclythe year before. Yet she was the
only one out there in the spotlight, with her "Yes, I'm Gay" Time magazinecover, while celebrities we knew were gay or lesbianstayed
safely in the closet, afraid for their careers. That was the world in which Mutchlerand Severnslived.
Almost to the end, Severnsbelievedshe would somehow beat her cancer. But as her final days playedout, and Mutchlerwas barred
even from picking up Severns'sprescription for pain relief because,the pharmacisttold her, "you're not family." Mutchler and Severns
both failed to see what would happenwhen Severnsfinally died.
0
MAY/JUN
2015
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Curve's online selection of must-do, must-try, must-have extras.
REVIEWS
LITERATURE
27TH ANNUAL LAMBDA
LITERARYAWARD
FINALISTS ANNOUNCED
It's a record-breaking year
of submissions
anticipation
and high
for the
June
1 Annual Lambda Literary
Awards held in New York
City. The "Lammys," as they
are known by the queer literati, has announced its stellar finalists, which
were chosen from a record 407 publishers and 818 submissions, and
EVENTS
PRIDE
include lesbian author Sarah Waters. Who said reading is dead? Not in the
LGBTcommunity! Read more on G curvemag.com
OUR ULTIMATE ONLINE PRIDEGUIDE
LGBT Pride is celebrated all around the country and the world from
June to August. Throughout summer we'll be posting stories and
event updates on Pride festivals, parades, parties, and events, big
and small, such as Twin Cities Pride. Minnesota is home to the largest
free-admission LGBT Pride festival in the U.S.,held in June and attended
by 300,000 visitors each year. This year, more than 150,000 spectators
will make their way downtown for the family-friendly Pride Parade and
5K race, plus there will be over 400 vendor stalls, free live music, and a
roster of events including An Evening of Classic Lily Tomlin on June 25.
Read more on G curvemag.com
CULTURE
HOTTOPIC
of theserapeswill
be perpetrated
by
acquaintances
WHY WE STILL NEED LGBT LABELS
The battle for LGBT equality has not yet been won. Stand up and be
counted! With same sex marriage now legal in 37 U.S.states, England, and
of collegerape
survivors
will report
theirexperience
to law
enforcement
authorities
SOURCE: 2007 Campus SexualAssaultStudy
funded by the NationalInstituteof Justice
NEWS
EDITOR'S
PICK
phenomenon: The "Back Seat Gay." Read more on G curvemag.com
-
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A RAPE ON CAMPUS
How Rolling Stone Made It Harder for Women to Report Rape.
On
much of Europe, the West has made the last few years count when it comes
to equality. But with it, we've begun to witness a strange and unexpected
Easter Sunday, April
5, Rolling
Stone
magazine
retracted what is possibly the most controversial story in the
magazine's 48-year history, "A Rape on Campus," written by
~
~
~
~
~
~
Politics Editor
~
~
Victoria A. Bownworth thought as she read "Rolling Stone and
~
UVA: The Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism
~
Report: An anatomy of a journalistic failure." It is as exhaustive
~
~
freelance writer Sabrina Rubin Erdely. But some things can't be
retracted. That's what Curve Contributing
as it is enraging. Read more on G curvemag.com
32
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2015
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We have some of the leading voices in our community
sharing their thoughts on
love and romance, parenting and politics, and sex and
spirituality-not to mention
our huge collection of lesbian fandom.
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Lyudmila
andNatasha:
Russian
Lives
MishaFriedman
IntroductionbyJeff Sharlet
"Powerfulandmundane,
tenderandurgent,fierceandlovely."
-UrvashiVaid,authorof IrresistibleRevolution
"Thissoulfulcollectionof gorgeousportraitsandfly-on-the-wall
reportagepullsyouin slowly,
invitesyouto linger,andleavesyoudyingto knowmoreaboutthesetwo womenin love,living
in a perplexingcountrywhereeventhe mostbanalpublicdisplayof beingthemselves-living,
loving,fighting,splittingup,kissingandmakingup-nowmeansfloutingthe law."
-JosephHuff-Hannon,
co-authorof GayPropaganda:
Russian
LoveStories
"Beyondandagainstimagesof victimhoodandvictimization,MishaFriedman
presents
Lyudmila
andNatasha
ascomplexindividuals
in a complexworld."
-YevgeniyFiks
Call Them Crazy
The new comedy/horror film Crazy Bitches from director
Jane Clark is sure to leave you in stitches.
BY LISA TEDESCO
T
here's nothing more re~
laxing than a quiet desert
getaway surrounded
by
Mother Nature and your
very best friends. What
could possibly go wrong? Plenty! Crazy
Bitchestells the tale of seven gal pals (and
a gay man) on an excursion to a seclud~
ed ranch in the middle of nowhere. The
weekend turns into a nightmare when
they find out that the ranch was once the
site of a mass murder-and
history begins
to repeat itself as, one by one, the women
are disposed of by their own vanities. But
this is not your run~of~the~mill horror
flick. The film also has an incredible mix
of comedy, with exceptional one~liners,
sexual jokes, and tension, as the locals find
ways to scare these city girls silly. Crazy
34
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2015
Bitches offers an abundance of chuckles
and a few WTF moments that will leave
you guessing"Who did it?" Featured play~
ers, Cathy DeBuono and Guinevere Turn~
er, are no strangers to the lesbian limelight,
and join many other familiar faces among
those who run amok. Writer~director Jane
Clark, along with Guinevere Turner and
Liz McGeever, offer us some insight into
this new type of lesbian film.
What talent did you bring to
Crazy Bitches?
Clark:As a director, I hope I just brought
guidance and a steady presence on set,
both for the actors and for the crew. As a
producer, we seemed to run into a lot of
issues with just about everything you can
imagine: scheduling, equipment, props,
trailers-you name it. What saved me was
the fact that I have produced two other
films at this budget level-Elena Undone
and Meth Head, which I also directed. So
I have developed a pretty good ability to
adjust on the fly.
Turner: Oh, it was super fun! First of all,
we were mostly on a remote ranch with
all of these chicks-always fun, even if it's
freezing or boiling or a long walk from the
trailer to the set. But we had trailers! And
second, I got to play straight. So I had to
do a lot of research-like go to stores and
bars and parties where it's mostly straight
people. Oh wait, that's life!
McGeever: Making this movie was like
going off to camp with friends, while get~
ting to do the work I love! Minnie is a very
unique character that I hadn't yet had the
REVIEWS/
time left in that half hour, and I had so
much fun watching them that I couldn't
resist a second pass.
Turner: Under pain of death-pun
intended-Jane
has asked me not to say
much about my part in the film, because
it would entail telling you if I die, and if
so, how, and all the good stuff that would
make you want to see the movie and be
surprised. So ...let me just say I loved all
of it. I don't get to act nearly as much as
I want to, so I am always excited to be on
the set and this role was particularly juicy.
McGeever: One of my favorites was the
scene in the tepee with Andy Gala. Minnie
convinces his character [her high-maintenance BFF] to sleep outside in the tepee,
rather than inside with the rest of the
group, and, of course, hijinks ensue. I had
never been in an actual tepee before, and
this one was quite beautiful. They are larger than I would have expected. Well, it was
fun to get to run around and play inside
of it.
Jane, can you describe the genre
and the tone of this film for our
readers?
chance to approach. She is very passionate
about her beliefs-kindness
to animals,
the environment, kindness to others. She
takes herself quite seriously in that way.
Because the things she says are so outrageous to others, if not to her, she is often
the comic relie£ which is fun to play with.
I enjoyed getting to bring my gentle side to
her, while also underscoring this strength
that she has.
Which scene was your favorite to
film?
Clark: I have to say the fight scene toward the end of the film. We had less
than half an hour to get it shot before the
sun went down, and it could have been
a nightmare, but it was strangely one of
the easiest scenes to film. Luckily, we had
choreographed it ahead of time, and our
stunt coordinator was on the set to help us
through. We dropped one camera low. The
other was with my steadicam. I called ''Action" and my two actors [Cathy DeBuono
and Andy Gala] kicked each other's ass
with such glee it earned a cheer when I
called "Cur:' We could have gone with the
first take, but there was actually plenty of
Clark: The film is for me a cross between
Bridesmaids and Scream. Though someone
recently called it a cross between Seven and
Mean Girls, and that works too. While
there are plenty of murders, and a little
gore, the film is just as importantly a comedy with a heart.
FlLM
this film. Were you nervous at all?
McGeever: As a straight gal, I was incredibly nervous, I have to admit! However,
Jane and Cathy talked to me beforehand
and made sure I felt comfortable, and I
appreciated that. They both had a way of
lightening the mood on set, which definitely made me feel more relaxed. At the
end of the day, shooting any intimate scene
feels awkward and strange, no matter
whom it is with, but you just have to try to
be in the moment and go with it!
Do any of you ladies consider
yourself to be a "Crazy Bitch"?
Clark: I'm definitely a Crazy Bitch for
having attempted this movie in the first
place.
Turner: All I can say about being a part
of this film is that it's given a lot of people license to call me a "crazy bitch" and/ or
make jokes like, "Oh, I bet you had to work
hard to do research for that one:' Say that
in your head with a dufus voice, please!
But actually, the moment that I met with
Jane and she told me the title of her new
project, I said, "Oh, can I please be in it?!"
So I guess I kind of knew it would be a
good fit ...
McGeever: As words evolve over time, to
some women the word "bitch" has become
empowering-when
used in a certain context. In that light, yes, I would!
( thecrazybitchesmovie.com) •
Guinevere, being well known in
our community for your work ( Go
Fish, The L Word, Who's Afraid
of Vagina Wolf?), what was new
about this character?
Turner: Well, aside from her being a
straight lady, she's pretty much in the general category of what I often play: something along the lines of Nightmare Bitch
Slut, or some awesome combo of two of
those things. Not complaining! Though if
anyone reading this has a courtroom drama where I get to wear a power suit and
be the attorney for the defense, please get
in touch with me. I just really want to say,
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury ..:' and
pace around the courtroom meaningfully. I want the phrase "not a dry eye in the
house" to be in play.
Liz, you got the chance to lock lips
and hips with Cathy DeBuono for
MAY/JUN
2015
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35
She's the King
San Francisco-based Top Chef finalist and Michelin-rated
chef Melissa King shares her culinary passion.
On starting young
On her kitchen flair
pastas, like a little
Italian grandmother
would. You can always taste the love in a
My first culinary creation that I can recall
My cooking style is hyper-seasonal, of-
was white Wonder Bread, a slice of Kraft
ten including local items I've foraged, and
homemade pasta dish. Some of my favorite
Singles cheese, and Prego tomato sauce
I support the use of the whole animal. My
ingredients are yuzu, black garlic, agruma-
from the jar, put together
food is delicate and technical. I value the
to lemon oil, fresh herbs, and high-quality
waved. It wasn't pretty, I know. But hey, it
importance
vinegars.
was the '80s, and I was a hungry 6-year-old!
execution. I enjoy taking comforting flavor
Eventually, my taste has evolved to include
profiles and elevating them through tech-
steamed whole fish, ginseng chicken soup,
nique and quality ingredients.
then micro-
of technique
and balance in
A nice homemade spaghetti dinner al-
and wok-fried eggs with soy sauce.
Cooking was an interest since I can re-
A dish to woo the ladies
ways seems to do the trick, but then again, I
On her signature dish
date girls who aren't afraid to slurp and get
member. I wanted to jump into culinary
Soup is seemingly simple, yet it takes
straight out of high school, but was con-
technique and creativity to make a soup
vinced by my parents to pursue a degree
memorable. I like to take my soups to an-
first (thanks, Mom and Dad!). While study-
other level by intertwining
ing for my undergrad in cognitive science,
es to add texture and depth of flavor.
playful garnish-
a little saucy!
On being out in her profession
In my experience, I found that if I work
really hard, stay dedicated, and produce
I picked up my first job in a professional
Lately, I've also been into making fresh
kitchen at the Getty Museum, just to test
pasta. It's my favorite thing to eat, and also
the waters. I knew right away from the hus-
one of my favorite things to make. I enjoy
powered was working in an all-female kitch-
tle and buzz of the kitchen that restaurants
the simplicity
and
en at Delfina, in the Mission District. It was
were where I was headed next.
the time and effort it takes to pinch filled
a group of strong chefs throwing it down in
36
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
of Italian ingredients,
great food, I can stand proud. Although,
one of the restaurants where I felt most em-
REVIEWS/
FOOD
one of the busiest kitchen lines in the city.
Twenty years ago, you'd never see this.
On her toughest and most
triumphant moments of Top Chef
The toughest part of being on Top Chef
was being away from my loved ones. My
most triumphant
moment was winning a
place in the Top Chef finale with my mother
by my side. She's my biggest supporter. I
felt moments of defeat, and a need to push
harder each day prior to the challenge with
our family members. Then she appeared,
How to follow her, in and out of
the kitchen
and we were asked to cook together with
pop-up dinner series called Co+Lab in San
no elimination. I was able to cook my food
Francisco, which is a collaborative
from my heart, without fears, while having
featuring local artisans and a guest chef or
the support of my mom. I am definitely a
two for the evening. My goal is to connect
mama's boi.
the community and introduce new makers.
I'll be cooking next by following me on ln-
There are so many talented individuals out
stagram (@mel_the_butcher) and Twitter
there that I felt a need to join forces, so we
(@chefmelissaking) or visit my website at
can create something beautiful together.
chefmelissaking.com •
What's cooking in 2015
A project I have going for 2015 is my
effort
Come to one of my pop-up dinners if
you're in San Francisco, or find out where
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2015
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37
38
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2015
STYLE/
PRI
Self-made style educator Ruby Polanco.
BY MELANIE BARKER
q
he road from Honduras to Hollywood-style glamour is
more than a couple of thousand miles. Ruby Polanco has
traveled the distance-and
then some. Polanco, who left
an unhappy marriage, earned a B.A. degree, and worked
as a realtor during the boom and bust, reinvented herself as a
beauty maven after it occurred to her that cosmetics lines did not
target Hispanic women. "We love color and heavy makeup, and
we love to spend money, even though we are a poor community;'
she says."But we have money to spend on anything that makes us
look better. It all started with the need for creating colors for the
Hispanic community and then I realized there was a big need for
education. And so the idea of creating a makeup school was born:'
Today, the Ruby Makeup Academy has three branches in
Southern California, has grown into a $2.5 million dollar enterprise in less than 10 years, and was named as one of Inc. Magazine's 2014 Top 500 Fastest Growing Private Owned Companies
in America. The Academy offers courses in beauty, fashion and
special effects-but Polanco's enterprise is more than skin deep.
For her, looking better is connected to feeling better-and
doing
better out there in a hard knocks world.
"You can use makeup to transform yourself into whatever you
want to be on a daily basis;' says Polanco. "Girly, sensual, powerful, the mom, the wife. I see makeup as transformation. For me,
makeup just shows how I feel inside:'
Polanco believes that when a prospective student walks
through the doors of the Academy it's partly to learn the art of
applying makeup; but mostly, it's to find hersel£ After she graduates she feels "so confident, so strong, like she has a future. As
women we're so insecure;' she says.
"30 minutes in the chair doing your makeup is like 30 minutes at the gym-you feel taller, stronger, faster, when you're done
with your makeup and hair. You know you'll do good that day,
that you can get things done. My makeup routine is definitely as
important as my 30 minutes on the treadmill:'
And the Ruby Makeup Academy is not just for straight Latinas. Queer femmes are drawn to it, too. "Whenever I am in a
room with Ruby Girls-that's
what we call our graduates-I'd
say about 15 to 20 percent are gay. Lately, we've been having some
parties and a lot of the girls are showing up with their girlfriends,
so yes, a lot of my girls are either gay or bisexual:'
Being out to her students is important to Polanco. "I am very
feminine, so people never realized I was gay, I never promoted it.
But around two years ago I started to post photos on social media
of me with my wife. Some parents don't like [that I am gay], so
people need to know from the beginning that I am gay:' Since she
has begun to include her personal life on social media, Polanco
estimates acceptance of her has increased. And in turn, Polanco,
who is 42, sees a greater acceptance of makeup within the lesbian
community, which used to be, for the most part, beauty averse.
"My wife Trish, who is 53, is more butch: short hair, most of
the time she doesn't wear makeup. But when we go out to events,
she does. It's part of her look.
"The Ruby community is 18 to 30 and loves makeup. I think
the new community of lesbians is actually into fashion, they are
into looking good, and even if they don't wear heavy makeup, they
do like to wear lighter makeup, like Ellen DeGeneres, to look
good. So I think it's changing for sure:'
Makeup can be a tool, says Polanco, to proudly display your interior strength to the world."If you're changing careers and going
for a new job, you get ready for the interview, or for the company.
You look the part, and you try to be the part. It all starts with
how you walk through that door, the way you look, the way you
are. Hiring a new person is a bit like falling in love. You look at
that person and you're like, 'They're it: Before we even say hello we
automatically know if we like them or not-like a date. Pay attention to making the first impression a good one;' advises Ruby.
"Match the personality of the company. Make sure that your exterior matches your interior:'
And Polanco has taken her own advice. When she came out
to her mother she received some resistance. How could someone
like her be gay? In Honduras, when she was a little girl, Polanco
heard her grandmother, who was ordinarily a kind and loving person, "use the nastiest words, words I had never heard before, if she
ever saw a lesbian, or someone who looked like a lesbian:'
But still, Polanco was not afraid to come out. She had no other
choice. "It was my life. I was willing to lose my whole family to be
my authentic sel£ but I didn't have to. It is okay to live your life the
way you want with who you want;' she says.
Now, her exterior matches her interior, and marriage equality
also manifests what is, for Polanco and for many of us, true and
real. "To get married makes such a difference. After going through
the process, something changes. Something within us-we feel
validated, we exist, we are real, our love is real. We have the same
rights as everybody else:' (rubymakeupacademy.com)
MAY/JUN
2015
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39
•
Finally,a sustainableapproach to beauty.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
0
ur skin is our largest organ and we absorb 80% of what we put on
it, says Shirley Pinkson, the out lesbian makeup artist behind sustainable, natural beauty product brand W3ll People. "We spend
a ridiculous amount at Soul Cycle classes, at gym, shopping at
Whole Foods-we have no problem doing that, and yet we go straight to the
drug store to buy our beauty products. Were buying parabens, polyethylene
glycol, mineral oils, and all these things that aren't good for us;' she continues.
And at the drug store we're inundated with images of models and celebrities
with airbrushed skin. Were bombarded with messages about looking beautiful,
younger-never about looking well. Little wonder lesbians and queer women are
skeptical of conventional makeup brands. But if you do want to look well-or
even a little glam-W3ll
People is here.
"We're an expression of positivity;' says Pinkson, who believes that any attempt at anti-aging should be natural. "Take an ingredient such as aloe, which
is a soother, and nourisher, and a healer. It's part of making that good choice for
your skin. It's not that I'm trying to look younger or be anything different than I
already am. But I do want to be mindful for my skin, for my body, for me.
''I've worked with a lot oflesbians who don't want to wear makeup. But what
they do want is, they all want to look good! Everybody wants to look good.
It's not about making them different from who they already are. Your makeup
should never precede you in the first place. The biggest compliment I get about
W3ll People, is that when I put it on somebody, they don't feel it. I can touch
my face and it doesn't transfer onto my hands. We have a very minimalistic approach to beauty. It's a creative and mindful approach-not
cosmetic:'
Pinkson came from the land of conventional, big brand cosmetics, working
for names like MAC and Nars, and teaching their artists in the U.S. and Europe. "In all my application and selling, I never knew what was in the products:'
About a decade ago, when a client started asking, Pinkson decided to find out.
She studied the ingredients and then started making choices when it came to her
makeup kit and her own beauty. Eventually she went from promoting conventional cosmetics to creating her own brand based on natural and chemical free
ingredientsand her client experience was completely transformed.
"When someone came see me at Barney's and asked me to do their makeup,
that was purely aesthetic. It never came from a self-care place. It came from a
vain place. And now I work with people that have cancer, who are celiacs;' she
says. "They are in my chair because they have chosen a better path for themselves. Either because they don't want to be sick or they already are. I get to make
them look good and I get to make them feel good, and that to me is the biggest
difference in what I do compared to my past cosmetic life:'
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2015
Using commercial products, she says, is a bit like eating fries
from McDonald's drive~thru. It's cheap, convenient-but
you
don't feel so great afterwards, and your skin is liable to break out.
Using natural products has a different effect. "You feel empow~
ered that you did something good for you today:'
While Pinkson loves wearing makeup and wears it every day,
like many lesbians, especially femmes, some gay women don't use
makeup. But W3ll People even has products even for them.
"I was just at Sundance and Tig Notaro sat in my chair be~
cause she had to go to an interview that was being filmed, so I just
applied a tiny bit of mascara, a little bit of bronzer, and evened
out her skin tone. I look at warming the complexion, making sure
the skin looks hydrated and healthy. Instead of foundation, I use
some tinted moisturizer. Essentially, what I do is take you right
now and amplify you to make you look great:'
Pinkson's signature-and
W3ll People's, from its packaging
to the product-is
minimalist and natural. "It's a brand built
on portability, on key pieces of makeup. I don't think a woman
needs to have 10 pieces of makeup in her makeup bag. If you can
create a look in under five products-who
wouldn't want that:"'
W3ll People's barely there, multi~purpose products include the
newly~launched BioTint, which is a BB cream, CC cream, tinted
moisturizer, and SPF all in one. Natural cosmetics that work and
have skin care benefits? When Pinkson joined W3ll People she
confided in her two business partners that she was only interested
in the venture if the products worked. And they do. The "hippie
tested, diva approved" line is a hit from its flagship store in Austin,
Texas, to the purses of celebrities such as Glee's Dianna Agron
who never leaves home without her Expressionist mascara. It's
mission accomplished for Pinkson. "If I can make your skin look
good, and natural, I really don't have much more work to do as far
as I'm concerned:' (w3llpeople.com)
• cft
a
HollyRi
Wonum
el's perfume adventure.
BY MELANIE BARKER
q
s there such a thing as a queer fragrance? How about a
unisex fragrance made by a lesbian entrepreneur? Holly
Riddel admits she has no experience in the world of name
brand fragrances, "other than mixing pure essential oils in
martini glasses with chopsticks;' she says, describing the process
behind her first line of bottled soaps. But that didn't stop her
from pursuing an idea for a scent. "When you have so much de~
sire around something, anythings possible. I love showing other
people that taking action can turn a passion into a reality:'
One day, she was reading a book called The History of Perfume
in the San Francisco Public Library and she fell in love with the
idea of creating a fragrance. She was further inspired after she
read an article in ScienceDaily which asserted that "falling in love
only takes about a fifth of a second:'
Always interested in the concept of intention, Riddel decided
this was her moment to act. Named 0.2 after the one fifth of a
second it takes "to look into the eyes of another person and ex~
perience a rush of emotions, like love at first sight;' says Riddel,
"0.2 sets the intention to have that feeling whenever we look at
someone. It allows one to have the awareness to make every day
beautiful:'
Wearing a fragrance becomes a way of following through on an
intention. Riddel wants everyone, lesbians especially, to be bol~
stered by positive intentions. "When you have to hide something,
it creates insecurities and those insecurities lead to low selfes~
teem. If you can put on this fragrance and feel the love for your~
self, and feel that freedom to express love, you can actually go out
into the world and feel a little bit lighter:'
By wearing 0.2 every day Riddel believes she has created a tal~
isman of sorts. "Whatever your intention is, that is what you get
out of the fragrance. It's passion and sex and lust; it's meaningful
eye contact and soul contact; it's love. I've had not one but many
women get turned on; their whole energy changes. Every single
person that experiences it wants more:'
While Riddel believes in love at first sight, she's nevertheless
philosophical about it. "There are many people that are our soul
mates. There is always something magical with someone we
come together with. You can't deny the feeling when you look
into the eyes of someone else, and I'm in love with that feeling:'
(0point2.com)
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2015
RainDove takes the fashion industry by storm.
BY MARCIE BIANCO
q
he 6'2" stunner started modeling after losing a bet during
a football game, and that loss has given lesbians and
queer women a new dreamy pin-up. A former firefighter,
Dove is one of a new crop of androgynous models like
Casey Legler and Erika Linder, biologically female but finding
success in men's fashion. Dove, who uses the gender pronoun
"they;' has been featured in Vogue Italia and Elle, and voted one
of the Top 7 Male Models in the USA by W magazine. They
also landed a regular spot on the web series Dyke Central, and
they were featured in the Oxygen special Living Different, which
premiered this past January.
Dove, who just finished a photo shoot with America's Next
Top Model photographer judge Nigel Barker, spoke to Curve before Queer Fashion Week, April 16- 19 in Oakland, California.
"Walking in QFW is important;' Dove explained, "because it signifies that an event could showcase the consumer power and the
interest potential in the queer community:' The power of fashion
as both cultural and capitalist consumption is at the fore of Dove's
mind. At a time when the "pink dollar" is increasingly influential,
the LGBT community is poised to become a more predominant
force in the fashion industry. Capitalism not only informs Dove's
ideology but their identity as well. "I don't care about terms like
'her' and 'him' -all I care about is getting the most from my environment so that I can give the most I can to my environment;'
they said. "I am a gendercapitalist:'
For Dove, "clothing is capitalism ...! use fashion to define exactly what I expect out of the world at the moment-from
being
treated like a high fashion, expensive-looking woman who gets
free drinks, to being treated like a rugged college boy who you
wouldn't mess with in the streets:'
For Dove, this way of being is "limitless:' "You define what
clothing represents the minute you wear it. I identify to the world
as whatever turns people on and gets people off. I am not a lesbian;' Dove clarified."! am a pansexual. I love who I love-genitalia
is the least of my worries. However, I do lean heavily toward 'female' body types, because who doesn't love a good lady?"
And, with all this seriousness about the economics and politics
of fashion and the LGBT community, Dove's ability to relax and
find the joy both in work and life proves that their future is, indeed, "limitless:' (@raindovemodel)
d)
Show some rainbow love this Pride.
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44
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
he New York based belter has covered everyone from Cole Porter to Kel~
ly Clarkson in her award~winning career as an out performer, but this
year Anne Steele decided to come out about her own creativity. Her first
EP of original songs, What'.s Mine toys with the idiom "What's yours
is mine, and what's mine is yours;' and signifies the journey she has taken from
tribute to reciprocity. Steele's crowdfunded album is full of honesty, gratitude,
and giving back to everyone who has supported her over the years. In the past,
Steele took inspiration from other emotive music icons such as Pink and her
own pop heroine Sara Bareilles. But now Steele digs deep, writing songs based
on personal stories and painful experiences, even drawing from old diaries, to
pen tunes such as the 'big lesbian breakup' anthem "Worst Ever:'
"This entire EP project was a huge change for me. I decided that I am at a time
in my life that if I don't take a leap now, when am I ever going to do it2 I feel like
my real voice is finally being heard on this record. My words and my thoughts
are finally being sung. Instead of just covering someone else's material, I am final~
ly brave enough to say,'This is who I am. Take it or leave it:"
Along with the change in intention came a change in image-Steele had her
signature chanteuse~worthy long auburn locks shorn off and now sports an edgy
contemporary do. Lesbians who at first glance might have dismissed Steele as
straight will certainly look twice now.
Not that she ever hid her sexuality. Steele came out when she moved to NYC
a couple of years after college. "When I met my first girlfriend it was like a light
had been switched on and suddenly everything made sense:' Coming out in the
polymorphous New York music scene, she says, had no negative impact on her
career. "I have never noticed any discrimination in the music world regarding my
sexuality. I have always been surrounded by incredibly supportive people who
only care about talent and not who you sleep with:'
But, like so many of us, she found opposition a little closer to home. "Even~
tually a couple of years later I did come out to my mother, and that was a rough
one. She was always very liberal and open~minded but for some reason it was
different for me. I realize now that sometimes you have to let people go through
46
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2015
Out
their own process, and then they will come back to you. My mother couldn't
be more supportive and lovely now. She loves my wife and the kids and we are
truly one big happy family:'
Steele, who is blissfully married to Kelli Carpenter and is raising four chil~
dren with her, is looking forward to Pride season as a time when we "can be
proud of all of the people who have worked and struggled for so many years
before us; we can stand up and celebrate who we are; and we can be silly and
dance and sing, but always remember that there is a message of equality:'
And if you like to rock out to gay anthems such as "Raise Your Glass" or
"I Will Survive" at Pride or any other time of the year, take a listen to Steele's
"Don't Tell Us How To Love:' She'll likely be belting it out at Pride events in
NYC and around the country, where she'll no doubt receive a rousing welcome.
"Now I am touring and playing places like LA, Chicago, Boston and San Diego
and I have only found open arms in every town:' (annesteele.com)
MAY/JUN
2015
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47
hristine Martucci's voice makes you think that,
somehow, Melissa Etheridge and Janis Joplin
had a love child. And like those two pioneering
queer women, Martucci has a story of her own
to belt out, which she does in her new EP, Angels of War.
Raised Catholic, in the wilds of New Jersey, the only daugh~
ter of a military father and a feminist mother, both stern
disciplinarians, Martucci was outed by a love letter from
her college flame. "My father intercepted my mail, and he
read it. I came home from work and was confronted by my
mom and my dad;' she recalls. "You would've thought I had
cancer, or some fatal disease, the way they were both sitting
in my room in the dark, waiting for me to come home. I was
terrified. Both of my parents had terrible tempers, and my
father was so mad at me he disowned me that night-then
proceeded to put my head through a wall:'
Martucci had few options to better her station in life. "I
really had nowhere else to go. I was living off the kindness
of friends. I dropped out of college and just had no direc~
tion. When they say that the military is a calling, it's really
true. I went in with no regrets. It was some of the best and
worst times of my life, but I would do it all over again:'
Serving her country in the era of"Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
solved the problem of how to live, but not the problem of
how to love as a gay woman in a country that had bare~
ly embarked on its journey toward equality for the LGBT
community."My first duty as a solider was to my country, to
defend it and do the best job I could do. Second was who I
was on the inside, which was a lesbian. But I couldn't show
it. I had to hide it. I had to endure:'
She created a fake boyfriend, and used "they" and "them"
when referring to her real girlfriend at home. "There were
others like me-gay soldiers. We all knew who we were.
We suffered in silence while we watched our straight broth~
er and sister soldiers embrace their loved ones and show
48
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2015
off family photos:' Concealing the truth was a sacrifice she
made. 'J\nd though it was hard, and very unfair, we all made it
through;' she says.
Barely. Martucci attempted suicide."! can picture the day like
it was yesterday. I woke up with a strange calm peace. I knew
that day I was going to take my own life, and for the first time
I felt in control. I walked downstairs, poured my coffee, got all
my pills and took them in one gulp. My mind was blank. I sat
on the couch and watched TV with my ex and we reminisced
about fun times:'
Misdiagnosed as bipolar, Martucci had been prescribed five
different medications, which, on top of stifling her emotions
and dulling her senses, led her down the rabbit hole. "To take
back my control, the only thing I had left was my own beating
heart, and I was willing to die before I felt another day of sad~
ness and defeat. Next thing I knew I woke up in the ER with a
breathing tube in my throat:'
Martucci recovered, and, along the way, received assistance.
'J\ngels appeared in my life. The first was a doctor who finally
took me off all the medicine and little by little I saw the sun
again. I was clear again, I felt again, and I started setting goals
again and writing songs again.
During this time, the inspirational writings of Marianne
Williamson also offered guidance. And other things changed,
too-from
Ellen coming out on national TV to the repeal of
DADT and DOMA. "We are at the table and we are discuss~
ing, we are moving forward:'
Her new EP, Angels of War, is almost an abridged version of
this epic struggle, and Martucci cites "Piece of Heaven'' as the
track that "really defines who I am:'
Pride is a special time of year for Martucci. In the past, she
invariably played a show at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park,
N.J. This year, with the release of her CD, she may be on the
road instead. Wherever she is, she will be proud. "Not prideful,
just proud of who I am:' (christinemartucci.com)
Out
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
49
inny Gilder is quite an accomplished woman.
She's an Olympic silver medalist, the CEO of
a thriving investment business, and a co~owner
of the WNBA's Seattle Storm. But her biggest
success to date isn't one you can find on her resume. You
can only find it within the pages of her new memoir, Course
Correction. That's where Gilder reveals the struggle it took
to overcome her inner fears and finally be true to herself.
"The effort required to keep a secret that is so fundamen~
tal to one's identity could be so better directed to a more
productive endeavor;' she says. "I pretty much slammed the
door on my sexuality when I was 25 years old and decided I
was straight. I pretty much 'forgot' I was gay until I was 40:'
In the book, Gilder also details her foray into the physi~
cally demanding and mentally exhausting sport of rowing.
Coincidentally enough, the challenge of rowing mirrored
her inner challenge to reach self acceptance.
"I love the paradox of rowing," she says. "The beauty of a
boat propelled forward by a crew working in near~perfect
synch, while each individual rower struggles to ignore the
internal cacophony of voices shrieking about the pain in~
volved and the need to stop moving. I didn't have to think so
much about how I felt inside. I just had to focus on figuring
out how to move a boat through the water as quickly as
possible:'
That's how Gilder lived her life-moving as quickly as
possible from one achievement to the next, never stopping
to rest in between. After graduating from Yale University
in 1979, she threw herself headfirst into making the U.S.
Olympic rowing team. Her persistence and hard work paid
off and she became an Olympic medalist, winning silver at
the 1984 Summer Olympics.
The evolution of women's sports is something that is
near and dear to Gilder's heart. Title IX was still fresh and
new when she arrived at Yale and joined the rowing team,
50
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MAY/JUN
2015
Out
and while she's thrilled by the growth of women's sports
over the past 40~plus years, she knows we still have a long
way to go. "There are stories nearly every day about how
women and girls are denied equal access to opportunities;'
Gilder adds, "whether it be the size of a women's team's
coach's salary, the facilities women practice and play in, or
the uniforms and equipment budgets. While it's obvious
Title IX has made an enormous difference in the growth
of participation across many sports, the fact that people
continue to challenge either its efficacy or its necessity in~
dicates how much work remains ahead:'
Also a smart and savvy business owner, Gilder decid~
ed to maintain her ties to women's professional sports
by investing in the Seattle Storm. When the WNBA
announced it would openly market to and celebrate its
LGBT fan base last year, she was thrilled. "Our LGBT
fans have proven staunch and loyal fans from the league's
inception;' she says. "The league should be out and proud:'
Today, Gilder lives comfortably in Seattle, Wash., with
her wife and family. At 56 years old, she's a long way away
from the insecure teenage girl she once was. "For much of
my teen and early adult years, I felt so alone;' Gilder says.
"I was afraid and anxious much of the time, but showed a
tough face-both because I thought I was supposed to be
tough and because I felt wrong for feeling as I did:'
Writing Course Correction, Gilder adds, was an expres~
sion of her purpose in life. She wanted to connect with
people and encourage them both to dream big and to do
what it takes to achieve their aspirations.
"Don't let anyone decide who you are or what you can
accomplish:' (ginnygilder.com)
MAY/JUN
2015
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51
hie short hair, tattoos-we
can tell Andrea
Gibson is a badass with just one glance. Behind
that exterior, however, is a deep soul; a deep
soul that has the most perfect way with words.
If you've never had the chance to get into the world of slam
poetry, it's a good time to start, and I suggest beginning with
Andrea Gibson.
What can I say about this poet born in little ol' Calais,
Maine? Plenty. You'd need an abundance of words to high~
light and describe their soaring and flowing spoken~word
poetry-and
I use "they" and "their" as pronouns because
Gibson identifies as genderqueer. Gibson contributes
to an art raw in emotions, an art that delivers poignant
messages on gender, spirituality, war, love, bullying, class.
These words have the power to move and enlighten.
"I rarely write with the hope of changing anyone's mind,
but I do write with the hope of changing people's hearts,
and that includes my own;' says Gibson. "I think we have
a tendency to shut ourselves down to survive this world,
and art gives us a container where feeling all that we feel
isn't so terrifying:'
Gibson's way with words will make the tough weak in
the knees, so you'd be right to wonder where it all stems
from. 'Tm a sucker for love;' says Gibson. "If the world
wasn't such a mess, I'd spend my lifetime writing only love
poems. Even writing about heartbreak feels like a cele~
bration. So much gritty grace is required for us to open
enough to be wounded. I don't think there's any art more
52
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MAY/JUN
2015
worthy of our attention than the art of loving people well:'
It's no wonder that flocks of women travel from near and
far to get the chance to listen to Gibson lament from their
romantic heart. The 35~year~old admits to being an incredibly
awkward talker, and says that finding topics of conversation
with a date can prove to be a challenge. "One of the reasons I
started writing was because I could never find the right words
in conversation;' says Gibson. "I actually have a poem in which
I tell a story about the first time I dated a woman who had
children. On our second date I said, 'So, your vagina, it's really
rad that babies have come out of it ... ' It was mortifying for
both of us:'
Coming out is also fertile ground for language and Gibson
feels like the coming~ out process will never have an exact end~
point. Initially coming out as bisexual in 1997, and then lesbi~
an a year after that, Gibson now identifies as genderqueer. But
this, too, may evolve. "I assume I'll spend my life shifting and
becoming and trying my best to pay close attention to the pull
of my own heart:'
Currently on tour, Gibson is hitting concert venues and col~
lege campuses across the country, and loving it. "I love being on
the road. I try to never book a venue with age restrictions, and
have specifically been blown away by my conversations with
LGBTQ youth:' The conversation continues on the page in
PANSY, Gibson's third collection of poetry, and touches upon
a variety of deep topics. "There's a lot in it that I was afraid to
write, and that fear has historically been a pretty good indica~
tor that I should not stop typing:' ( andreagibson.org)
Out
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
53
t work, Meghan Stabler is an executive in global
marketing and communications at CA Technologies-a multi-billion-dollar software company. At
home, she's a loving mother to her two kids. And she
works tirelessly as a transgender advocate and national LGBT
activist. Stabler successfully juggles these responsibilities with
confidence and ease. Which is precisely why in Working Mother magazine named her Working Mother of the Year in October 2014. "I was not expecting it at all;' she says.'Tve always
been of the mindset that you do your job as best as you can
and go home. Getting recognized for something like this is a
wonderful bonus:'
As the first transgender woman to receive the award, Stabler believes it's an important recognition."In the vast majority
of companies, there are no protections for trans people;' she
says."So this is important as far as visibility goes:'Through her
activism, Stabler has had the opportunity to interact with celebrities and politicians-even the First Lady. "I have spent a
significant amount of time with Michelle Obama, and she is
just so warm and embracing and eager to learn more about the
trans community:'
During Stabler's transition, her former associates weren't
sure how to relate to her."They were thinking,'! don't think we
should expose this person to our customers; and 'We should
keep this person behind closed doors: There is a cultural misunderstanding going on in America. Companies need to be
aware of their conscious and unconscious biases:' She eventually found an environment of acceptance and support at CA
Technologies and the company's culture of inclusion has been
important to her success. However, if you are trans and "live
in a state where there is no workplace protection, you need to
be cautious. The opposition is coming out and hitting harder than ever before:' She firmly believes that if we can become
self-aware and acknowledge our own social biases, then we
have the power to change for the better.
54
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
Out
s Public Information Officer for Santa Monica Mountains National Recreation Area, Kate
Kuykendall's job is to help raise the National Park
Service profile, and to reach people who think that
experiencing national parks or nature is not attainable.
While many of us are focused on achieving national equality
for LGBTs, Kuykendall is focused on cultivating the next generation of park visitors, including iPhone dependent hipsters.
Kuykendall is poised to turn tech huggers into tree huggers,
starting with L.A:s backyard, Santa Monica Mountains National Recreation Area."We really need to expand the number
of people who get to visit these special places:'
Kuykendall aims to achieve her goal through the Find Your
Park awareness campaign (findyourpark.com). "We hope
people will think about what makes their favorite places special and share it with us"! And if you're not out at work and
looking for an out career, she highly recommends the NPS. "I
think most people value careers where they can make a positive difference in someone's life and there is no doubt that an
overnight camping trip in the mountains can profoundly impact those who visit. I really expect my sexual identity to be a
non-issue in the workplace. That has certainly been the case
with the National Park Service and, in fact, my wife also works
for the agency. We're quite proud to be part of the National
Park Service family. I am fortunate to work for an agency that
is very mission-driven and connected to the American people.
As a lesbian, I also appreciate working for an employer that
now offers full benefits to married same-sex couples.
"We consider ourselves America's storyteller, and we need to
make sure the whole story is told. Last year the National Park
Service announced the LGBT Heritage Initiative, which will
chronicle the LGBT struggle for civil rights. New York'sStonewall Inn, is already a National Historic Landmark, but there
are many other significant places that need to be identified and
commemorated as part of our nation's history:' (nps.gov)
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
55
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~I-IT
T
he world seems more
fashion
obsessed
than
ever, and with new media,
supermodels-in
spite of
their status-are
subject
to more scrutiny than ever. Many behave
badly and few migrate to a substantial
way of life-or write about their careers
in an intelligent and transformative way,
as does Patricia Velasquez in her mem~
oir Straight Walk: A Supermodel'sJourney
58
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
to FindingHer Truth.
The first Latina supermodel-and
an
out lesbian-Velasquez
delivers a book
that is engaging, literate, honest and heart~
felt. It's full of colorful stories, from her ear~
ly adolescence in impoverished Venezuela,
to her life as an international model, and
her evolution into a businesswoman, mom,
and out gay woman. Along the way, she re~
counts her emotional and psychological de~
velopment and treats us to her musings on
language, love, spirituality, and karma-or
at least the consequences of her actions in
the world. For Latinas, lesbians, people of
color, and any type of minority, her story is
particularly important.
Straight Walk is an ironic tide, because
Velasquez has done nothing in a uniform
or predictable manner, and the book traces
the journey she undertook, which resulted
in the directness she shares with us today. It
is of vital importance to be out and proud,
FEATURES/COVER
Velasquez writes: "Living a lie isolated me,
made me feel like more of an outsider than
I already felt on most days, and it created
loneliness and self-loathing so overwhelming that it bled through my pores. All the
fame, success, and celebrity on the planet
couldn't wash away the damage:'
When you come from a large Venezuelan family-Velasquez is the fifth of six
children and she has more than one hundred first cousins-you tend to put others'
ideas of you before your own. Growing up
with an absent father (he was an academic
who traveled a lot), and a mother who tried
to make ends meet in a third-world Latin
country where food was scarce, and water
even scarcer, Velasquez was nevertheless
fortunate enough to go to a good school
and develop a will to succeed. But even as a
small child, she used to pretend to be something she was not. At school, to disguise
that she was Venezuelan, she would speak
ST
Mexican Spanish.
"For some reason, I was an outsider at
the core and that feeling may have had
something to do with how my life eventually turned out. I didn't know it so much at
the time because I lived with that feeling,
that outsider feeling, daily. I didn't know
until much later exactly why, but I knew I
felt it, like it was always a struggle:'
Early on, she escaped through dance.
The artistry and the discipline appealed to
her, as did the opportunity to travel."Dance
wasn't girly to me. It was athletic. People
admired dancers as artists;' she writes.
But when her tyrannical teacher rebuked
the girls for eating, and for not being thin
enough, even though they were often starving, Velasquez stood up and protested, and
was dropped from the troupe, missing out
on a trip to Europe.
But she went on to use her dance experience, moving with grace through the world.
As a teen, she entered the Miss Venezuela
beauty contest (and developed intense feelings for a former entrant, Rossana, who
helped prep her), and while she didn't win,
she was a finalist, and doors opened to her,
including the chance to model in Milan at
the age of 18. Her rise was steady and substantial: She went on to model in Madrid,
Japan, Paris, London, and eventually New
York. There were moments of exploitation,
emptiness, and extreme kindness from
some women in the industry.
The key to her success was her look, but
"millions of people have a look;' Velasquez
tells me when I interview her for this story. "It's how you use it. I started moving
my body in a way that other people didn't.
I knew the energy didn't just stay in my
face. It went all the way out to my fingers:'
Another factor was her resilience. Many
models burn out or give up after endless rejections. "You're very young, you're traveling
like crazy, you don't speak the language in
many of the places that you go. You have to
be extremely disciplined, and, most importantly, you have to learn to handle rejection.
You go to these places, 20 meetings or castings in one day, and you might not get one
job. So to get rejected 20 times a day and
keep doing that five days a week until you
get one job, it's hard for it not to affect you.
There are very few who can do that:'
Velasquez shares these experiences and
observations in her book, and includes
some startling admissions along the way:
a habit of concealing the truth (the worst
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
59
instance of which led to her almost being
raped); an "arrangement" with a male spon~
sor who funded her pageant bid; breast im~
plants; cocaine abuse that caused nosebleeds
and the inability to shed tears; in love with a
woman yet sleeping with a guy to prove she
wasn't gay; a lack of compassion for the man
who launched her career. Counterbalancing
these instances of recklessness and duplic~
ity is her draw toward authenticity: her
loyalty to family; her pride in her ethnicity
(she is Wayuu, an indigenous Venezuelan);
her will to succeed, to walk straight, to
be direct, to fulfill her destiny and do the
right thing.
Against this personal drama a larger cul~
tural narrative is playing out-Velasquez
is fighting the "blonde standard" with her
exotic looks, changing the industry's per~
ception of what a top model is. She lands
a place with the Ford modeling agency.
She is a breakthrough in campaigns for for
Chanel, CoverGirl, Victoria's Secret. She
graces the cover of Sports Illustrated and
Marie Claire Bis. She is even photographed
by Karl Lagerfeld, who senses that, re~
garding tastes in fashion, the tide is turn~
ing. In Lagerfeld's Chloe collection for fall
1994, she shares the runway with Claudia
Schiffer, Christy Turlington, Helena Chris~
tensen, Naomi Campbell, and a number
of blond "Glamazons:' Her elegant moves,
curves, and piercing dark eyes stand out.
Her exotic looks land her a role in the 1996
French adventure comedy Le Jaguar, and in
The Mummy, as Anck~su~Namun, the pha~
raoh's mistress. Bitten by the acting bug she
takes lessons and goes on to work on many
TV shows and films.
Today, Velasquez identifies primarily as
a mother, a UNESCO Artist for Peace, and
an author-according
to her Twitter blurb.
Even though modeling is in the past, it is
the vehicle through which she found hersel£
and fashion gave her the freedom of expres~
sion that dance once did. While modeling
in a very expressive 2000 Jean Paul Gault~
ier show she realized that she was ready
to come out to her mother. And as part of
her contract with CoverGirl she discovered
that her sense of
charity had val~
ue, launching a
scholarship pro~
gram for young
Hispanic women
called My Colors
of Success. She
understands why
fashion doesn't al~
ways speak to gay
women, because a
lot of it is "orient~
ed to one specific
type of girl;' but
sees its em pow~
ering side. 'Tm a
gay woman. I can
sometimes be very
butchy and I can
also dress very
feminine. I like to mix both things. But I
like to own my femininity:'
While fashion has transformed her, she
agrees that the industry standard-and
the
media that reports on it-needs to change.
Newsstand racism "is a fact;' she says. "It's
changing though, little by little. You see
more black people and Latin people on
magazine covers, on TV shows, in movies,
but it has taken a long time. We have creat~
ed icons and role models in our communi~
ties, so people want to buy a cover of people
who they think represent them. I think it's
finally being understood that we are a huge,
huge market. But why? Because we are
supporting it. You can put all the Latinas
you want on magazine covers, but if people
don't buy them it's not going to make any
difference. The change has been mutual.
"We are feeling more proud of who we
are as a culture:
African American,
Asian, Latin-we
are finding our~
selves, and things
are changing:'
But in the mid~
1990s, at the begin~
ning of this change,
even as more and
more doors opened
for Velasquez in
modeling, her true
sexuality remained
locked away. She
was barely even
cognizant of it, oth~
er than sometimes
being drawn to
particular women,
and
occasionally
experiencing feelings of sadness, shyness,
and emptiness. She describes encoun~
tering Sandra Bernhard backstage at a
Comme des Garcons fashion show at the
Louvre in Paris. The upfront comedian was
talking to Andre Leon Talley of Vogue, and
Velasquez, feeling very nervous about the
show and working with elite models Linda
Evangelista and Christy Turlington, was
moping about. After exchanging glances,
Bernhard came over and tenderly intro~
duced herself to Velasquez. "With every
word she said, I just felt less lonely. Plus,
she knew something about me I didn't even
know about mysel£ Something I'd learn
later:' Velasquez credits Bernhard with
her lesbian awakening, and although the
ensuing two~year relationship didn't work
out, its effects lingered. "It was the first real
breakup I'd experienced, and I was unpre~
pared for the intensity of the pain that en~
sued;' she writes.
In the end, the motivation to write this
memoir was not to brag, or to kiss and tell,
or to boost her career. It was to set an exam~
ple for her daughter, Maya, who Velasquez
co~parents with her ex~girlfriend, Lauren.
"I think as time has gone by and I have be~
come a parent, I needed to give my daughter
an example of what I would like her to be;'
she says. "I want her to be a woman who
feels proud of who she is, who can overcome adversity, who can inspire others, and
especially never feel ashamed of herself:'
She started writing for Maya, and
hopes she'll read it when shes older. But
she also wrote the book for women like
hersel£ "The truth is there haven't really
been any other Latin women in our world
to say, 'Yes, I am gay, I am happy, and
I am proud:"
LGBT rights have advanced rapidly in
the past 20 years, and as one who sees an
obstacle as a challenge, she welcomes the
opposition that may come. "I feel there is a
reason why we gays are going through this:
It's only going to make us stronger, closer,
and more unified as a community. It's going
to inspire us to be better parents, to be better partners, and to go out and really fight
for marriage and open the doors for the rest
of the world:'
Being out and honest is crucial to being
a better parent and partner, but Velasquez
sees a point to the circuitous path that has
led to her "straight walk:' And then she tells
me: "It is not a coincidence that you are at
Curve and that I write a book and do what
I do. It's funny that now we're talking. We
actually have a lot in common!"
A born storyteller, Velasquez has a story
for Curve. After the breakup of her 8-year
relationship with Lauren, she couldn't meet
any women because she was always working, so she joined Curve Personals. "It's the
only magazine, and I can tell you because
my couple friends, that's how they met!"
She had a profile, but she couldn't add a
picture of herself because she was a public figure. And so no one really responded.
Again, Velasquez was confronted with the
question of her authenticity. 'i\.nd then I
thought, I'm going to verify my identity
because this is crazy, I don't know anyone, I don't meet people, I live my life for
work, and people think you're out there
so much ... :•
But Velasquez realized that casual dating
wasn't going to solve what was happening at
her core: depression and secrecy needed to
give way to transformation and openness.
Her pursuit of yoga and Kabbalah has led
Velasquez to a much happier and more visible place. She has been with Ileanna Simancas for over a year, and she has a perspective
on all the different parts of hersel£ which
this book draws together. Modeling is in
the past. Motherhood is at the forefront.
Business is a chance to give back to the
world. Expressing herself through acting is
very important, and if you watch the feature
film Liz in September, released later this
year, you'll likely agree that Velasquez turns
in a performance that is leaps and bounds
ahead of many models' attempts at acting.
"Patricia is extremely intelligent and
modeling was a good starting point for her,
but in her soul, she was called to be an actress;' says Fina Torres, a close friend and
the director of the film. "She worked very
hard to get to her arr:'
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
61
Beneath her evident beauty is a substantial talent backed by courage and conviction. "For a famous Latina model, known
by thousands of people all over Latin
America, it took a lot to come our;' notes
Torres, who is also Venezuelan. Liz in September, adapted from the classic lesbian
play Last Summer at BluefishCove,was also
62
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
a chance to show the world who she really
was. The correlations between Velasquez
and her motorcycle-riding, plaid-wearing
character Liz are many: Both are famous
models; both are "beautiful, courageous,
defiant, seductive, fearless, even sometimes
ruthless;' says Torres. Some elements of
Velasquez's biography are incorporated
into Liz's dialogue: "Some Italians were looking for models, they
hired me, and I took off. I quickly understood that in life, beauty
means power. And I had it:'
And Velasqueis Liz is a welcome addition to the small but
growing pantheon of lesbian cinema characters: an athletic, intelligent, and independent tomboy,
urged by her friends, who have
gathered on a Caribbean beach
to honor her birthday, to seduce
the straight newbie among them.
Of course, along the way, secrets
emerge and Liis is the biggest. It
is Velasqueis "best performance
in a film;' says Torres. "She gave
her heart and soul to it nonstop
for two years:'
Velasquez has also given her
heart and soul to her book, and
to the cause behind it, which is
equality. "We still have so much
more to do in terms of tolerance;'
Velasquez tells me, "not only from
an individual point of view, but
as someone who has a family.
For me, this is the time to step
up and take responsibility and
inspire others:'
Coming out as a Latina model
has created blowback from her
community: "thousands and thousands" of tweets criticize her, she
tells me. But Velasquez hopes to
change those attitudes. "The Latin
culture is very male-dominated,
but it can be divided into different
places. For example, Argentina is
forward thinking, very open. In
Spain, you can get married, but it's
still very judgmental. In Colombia, they are fighting hard to have
gay marriage. In Venezuela, they
are also fighting, but it's not on the
top of the list because people are
struggling to feed themselves.
"If we really go to the root of it,
the male domination doesn't come
from the men. It comes from us. Were the
women, we're the mothers, were the ones
who have the voice at home, and were
not asking them to make their beds, and
were cooking for them, and theres nothing
wrong with it, but we are the ones creating
this in our homes. So unless we change it at
home, it's not going to change:'
As hard as it is for Velasquez to be attacked by her compatriots, she'll take the
heat for the sake of her path. Being dedicated to Kabbalah, which seeks to explain the
nature and purpose of existence, Velasquez
is convinced that everything has a role and
everything happens for a reason. "If [coming out] is going to drive people to read
the book, and be more inspired, not only
within themselves, but to understand others around them, then, you know, let me go
through what I have to go through. It's okay.
As long as we can plant a little bit of a seed,
then it means we are doing the job:'
And she has a message for women who
are not yet out, or who conform to the wishes of others-especially Latinas: "There is a
reason why you are who you are, and if you
stop being who you are, you will never be
happy. Often, when we try to protect other
people by not living the truth, we are indeed
hurting them by not living the path. I'm
here to tell you it's okay to live your path.
It's not easy, it's challenging. But if we don't
do it, then who's going to do it2 There is a
reason why it's us:'
In the epilogue to Straight Walk,
Velasquez writes: "Once I was honest about
being gay, I was honest about enjoying being sexy. I was able to accept that everyone
who was gay didn't also have to maintain
a masculine status, though at times there's
a big, butch dyke in me, not just a lipstick
lesbian. Now we can embrace our feminine
and masculine side, and that's okay. Gay
women are beautiful, so with nothing to
prove to myself or anyone else, I felt free
just to be:'
After coming out, Velasquez realized
she was more than just 'glitz and glam and
legs": She was a woman with an honest relationship to her family, rather than a celebrity trying to rescue them; she was a giving
partner, rather than a demanding one; she
was an indigenous woman who could help
improve the lives of the indigenous people
of Latin America.
No, you don't have to come out. After all,
there is a lot at stake. "But even if you feel
ashamed, or you get rejected, what are you
going to dot she asks me. 'i\re you going to
stay down2 No, you're going to get up and
do it again. So this is only a challenge for
me to say, you know what, we are part of
a minority, we are judged, we are looked at
as weird, but we still have a job to do. Go
out and fight and be proud of who you are:'
(patriciavelasquez.com) •
After an Off-Broadway run, Lisa Kron and Company move Fun
Home to the big stage with grit, honest storytelling, and a desire to
connect with a wider audience.
BY LAUREN LOGIUDICE
Remember Fun Home, the graphic memoir by Alison Bechdel,
who also created Dykes to Watch Out For? Well, Fun Home has
been adapted into a musical. On BROADWAY. There's no need to
fear that this main stage production will water down any rainbow
flavoring. Lisa Kron is reassuring: "Much to our great pride and joy, it's
full-on lesbo action." Besides living up to its queer origins, Fun Home
is a masterfully constructed musical created with exceptional bravery
by Lisa Kron, the writer; Jeanine Tesori, the composer; and Sam
Gold, the director.
In the Beginning
The Daunting Task
Years ago, Alison Bechdel heard that
there was interest in making a film adaptation of her memoir, but she says, "I could
not bear to see a bad movie made out of this
very personal stuff.' She's not overemphasizing the intimate nature of the narrative,
which weaves her coming-of age story with
her memories of her father. (Bruce Bechdel,
who for years had homosexual encounters
with underage boys, eventually committed
suicide four months after Bechdel came out
as a lesbian.) It was only when Kron was
attached to the project that Bechdel finally
agreed to a stage adaptation. "The whole atmosphere of musicals has been such a bastion of heterosexuality, but I did know that
I was in good hands with Lisa Kron:'
''Alison would not have trusted this material to anyone but Lisa;' says composer
Jeanine Tesori, who was the second creative
to come on board. Director Sam Gold was
the next to sign up. "I lived in a house with
them on a writing retreat, and thought,
They're doing something extremely interesting and challenging:'
Kron and Tesori developed Fun Home
at the Ojai Playwrights Conference, the
Sundance Theatre Lab, and The Public
Lab, a program of new works created by
The Public Theater in New York City. Fun
Home then enjoyed a run at The Public
Theater, in 2013.
" 'Bravery' is definitely the word that
characterizes the way I watched them collaborate, to try things not knowing if they
were going to succeed;' says Gold.
"One has to do bad writing to get to
good writing;' Kron asserts. "It was a little
tormenting to bring in so much work that
was not going to be good:' Tesori agrees:
"It's very painful:'
Deciding on the ending for the musical
was particularly challenging. "My partner
Madeline started to actually laugh out loud
at me, the number of times I would say,
'We figured out the ending, we totally got
it!' Then I'd realize that I had said that with
the same exact conviction, literally four or
five other times;' says Kron, laughing.
The creative team felt a strict sense of responsibility to accurately portray the source
66
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
material, and sometimes this made sharing
the unfinished work more difficult. Tesori
says, "[Bechdel's] family came to a preview
when we were in the weeds. I had a panic
attack for the first time in my life:'
Did they ever think that they wouldn't be
able to crack it? Kron and Tesori reply in
unison: "Never:'
What was their secret? "You get a group
of collaborators who want it to succeed and
don't doubt the reason that they're in the
room;' Gold insisted.
Straight Eye for the Lesbian
Playwright
Lisa Kron was the only lesbian on the
creative team, and this ended up being a
positive aspect of the collaboration.
"The whole time we were working, I kept
thinking, Sam and Jeanine are going to hit
that lavender ceiling. But that never happened;' Kron says.
Kron has not forgotten the opposition
that she often experienced when performing her own solo plays in regional theaters.
"I remember the first time I said the word
'lesbian'-! could literally hear and see people in the audience be like, 'Oh my, oh geez!'
Through the course of the show people
would [change], and that was part of what
my work did, was to normalize this thing:'
During the writing process, Tesori was
baffled by her co-collaborator's reactions.
For instance, when they considered writ-
FEATURES/
ing a song ("Ring of Keys") about how the
8-year-old Alison feels when she sees a
butch lesbian for the first time.
Kron: "There's no language for this girl to
write about this butch that will not trigger
the audience to laugh at her, and I cannot
abide that, I cannot bear it, and Jeanine
says, 'No, you're wrong, we have to do it:
I was like, 'I don't think it's going to work;
and she says, 'Well, I don't care, you have to
do it:"
Tesori: "Well, I bring the straight entitlement. Let's just call it-that's what it is:'
Kron: "Right, or at least the lack of fear
around it:'
Tesori: ''And I think that's why I was like
(in a scene with the 19-year-old Alison],
'Those two women are going to kiss: And
she's like, 'Well, we can't:"
Kron: "I thought, We're going to pay for
it:'
Tesori: ''And I told her, 'They're kissing!
They're in love and it has to be dirty and
sexy: I've had other resistance, but not to
that, so I felt like, I don't know what you're
talking about:'
Kron: "I mean, my interest was only in
keeping people on the ride, and I wanted to
figure out the ways to get that story through
that scaffolding of resistance:'
Who's the Star?
The narrative in Fun Home uses three actors to play Bechdel. There's ''Alison;' who's
43 and a cartoonist; "Medium Alison;' a
19-year-old student at Oberlin College;
and "Small Alison;' who's 8 and lives in a
small Pennsylvania town.
Gold: "There was a long time in the development of the piece where the older
Alison's relationship to the material wasn't
totally cracked yet. There needed to be
a safe space created for what could have
been an axed part of the show, because of
the subconscious-to
some degree, pretty
subterranean-ways
that had everything to
do with the fact that she's the out-lesbian
character:'
Tesori: ''A very smart person said to me,
'You are working something out in your
own life by putting that character [the adult
Alison] in, and that play will fail if you keep
her in: And I had a hard three weeks of
torture, thinking, Am I ruining this play?
At the end of the three weeks, I was like, 'I
don't ever want to hear that again: That's a
big, choice role in the center, and it's usually
not afforded to women, and least of all to
women in their 40s:'
Kron: ''And even less than that to butch
lesbians:'
Theater as Social Change
This is the first time, for both Kron and
Bechdel, that their work has sparked massive interest beyond the lesbian community.
Kron says, "Fun Home was the first time
that both [mainstream and lesbian] audi-
THE
ences had a very connected primary experience to the same show:' It was timing, both
Kron and Bechdel insist, that allowed audiences to connect with the material.
The Broadway run is staged in the
round, which continually shifts the audience's perception-just
as in her memoir
Bechdel approaches certain incidents from
several different angles. Gold says, "Part of
the experience of Fun Home is that it's an
investigation, and that is something that the
whole audience has to do together:'
Tesori: "I think, in the round I feel implicated as a scene partner. I feel like I'm in the
scene with Alison, because she's facing me
now. I'm not watching it, I'm a part of it:'
This audience interaction has the potential to create change. According to Kron,
"To be in a theater where people can see
each other, we hope that the audience will
feel not just a relationship to the play but
a sense of the connections being made to
each other. That pinging connection, back
and forth, that's the dream:'
The run that started this spring will
eventually reveal how much this musical
could change the landscape of Broadway
forever.
Tesori: "Lesbo action figures are being
sold:'
Kron: "I hope so:'
(funhomebroadway.com) •
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
67
FEATURES/
W
ile it's true that girls
with guitars are far from
n endangered species,
very now and then,
someone truly special comes along. That
happened in 2005, when Brandi Carlile
announced her arrival with an eponymous
debut album. Carlile is the whole packagesinger, songwriter, entertainer, activist, and,
yes, a lesbian. She is also profilic, recently
releasing The Firewatcher'sDaughter, her
fifth studio album in 10 years. Carlile sees
the work as a synthesis of all her past efforts, with "the innocence of our first album,
before we knew what a commercial song
structure looked like, the self consciousness
and live-ness of The Story, the hyper-focus
on songs that we had on Give Up the Ghost,
and the adrenaline that we put into Bear
Creek... all the good experiences of the past
albums are in this album-and the bad experiences aren't there;' she says, before adding, "We had our own new bad experiences,
but I think that they served the album well:'
In Carlile's estimation, all roads have led
to here, to now-starting
way back in Seattle, Wash., when she first asked Tim and
Phil Hanseroth (aka the Twins) to
make music with her. Even though
it's all done under her name, make
no mistake, this is a collective rather than a solo project.
"I can't imagine a career without
them. I just don't think you and
I would be having this conversation right now, because I would
probably be a bar singer doing
cover tunes;' Carlile says with
a laugh. Though the three have
been thoroughly committed to
one another, truly a band for over
a decade now, with a sameness of
mind and a closeness of heart, their
music is still as unpredictable as it
is unpretentious.
On the new set, songs as disparate as "Mainstream Kid" and "The Eye"
stand side-by-side, though a casual listener
might not believe they hail from the same
artist. That's the result of three voices flowing as one. She's quick to point out that she's
not a triplet, but ... "We all end up finding
our milestones happening in the same place,
even at different ages:'
Indeed, Carlile and the Hanseroth broth-
THE L LIST
broke it all open: "He told me, and I think
he's right, that you can do everything better when you're happy. You think you look
better when you're 20 pounds underweight
and smoking and drinking and super-dark
and able to hide in a dark room and visualize your feelings and write these tortured
songs. You think you're doing better and it's
cooler because you have to make something
good out of it. But you can write even better
tortured songs when you're happy:'
The other relationship that brings her a
sense of security and safety, along with a lot
of happiness, is the relationship she shares
with her fans, particularly the LGBTQ
ones. "What they've meant to me is unconditional love. They've shown that to me, regardless of how I've changed or looked, or
the things that I've gone through. They've
continued to embrace me because we have
something in common;' she offers. "I see us
doing that and holding each other up because maybe some of us didn't experience
that at home, at first. So we're really happy
to, then, turn and share that with someone
else, whether it's an artist or someone that
you relate to who's making music or speaking in a public platform.
'Tm an LGBT fan, as well ... I
feel that responsibility, too, to hold
up those same icons and artists,
first of all, for the road that they've
taken for us. Second of all, because
it's really important to have those
icons, to be able to look to them
and say,'If they can get here, I can
get here. My daughter can get here:
And to hold them up even if they
put out an album you don't like,
because that perseverance and that
unconditional love is something
that maybe some of us needed:'
With her fans in tow, Carlile
enters the second decade of her
career and a new phase of her life.
But will she lose the wonderfully
time to write songs for The Firewatcher's ragged edge that makes her so special? "I
Daughter."I had a lot of anxiety writing for wrote the hardest rocking songs on this althis album-maybe
because I'm getting
bum that I've ever written. I can't tell you
older, or because I had a daughter on the
where they came from, or how that hapway at the time, or because I'm married and
pened, but if I continue on with that trend,
happy-that
I would have a difficult time
I'll probably lose my less-edgy fans;' she
going into that tortured, kind of dark cas- jokes, adding, 'Tm not sure that edge ages
tle that I'd written from a long time ago;' well. I think happiness ages really well. Love
she explains. But a conversation with Tim
is timeless:' (brandicarlile.com) •
ers all became spouses and parents over the
past few years, with Phil marrying Carlile's
sister, Tiffany, to officially make the band a
family affair. As would be expected, having
a wife and a baby changes things, personally
and professionally.
"It was funny-in that week after the
wedding there was a realization that there's
a new sense of security and safety around
my relationship. It allowed me to bring a
lot of humor into my day-to-day, because I
think, for some of us-and I don't want to
speak for everyone-before we're married,
we're kind of always seeking something,
the wholeness of ourselves. Or we want to
make sure we're maximizing the ultimate
compatibility with another person. So, every time there's a disagreement, minor or
major, you wonder, What does this mean:"'
Carlile continues with a laugh, "Now that
I'm married, should something like that
arise, I don't wonder what it means for a
second! One of us is going to have to get
over it. There's just a different sense of relief
in that:'
Despite that relief-or, perhaps, because
of it-Carlile had a rough go when it came
MAY/JUN
2015
CURVE
69
Fun In the
Sunny Spain's Balearic Islands include Mallorca, the site of the lesbian Ella Festival.
BY ADRIENNE JORDAN
he Balearic Islands of Mallorca and
Ibiza, off the eastern coast of Spain,
offer a panorama of events and excursions for lesbian travelers. From
taking a boat ride on a subterranean lake,
to tanning on gay-friendly beaches, the
islands are a destination for every kind of
girl. Popular landmarks include an imposing Gothic cathedral in Mallorca and the
tranquil salt marshes in Ibiza, but the most
exciting events these islands have to offer
are the women-only weekends where pool
parties and sports fill the day, and at night
hundreds of women are packed into dance
parties featuring European DJs.
Start your trip with a visit to Mallorca,
the largest island in the Balearic Archipelago. The most recognizable landmark in
the capital city 0£ Palma de Mallorca is
the magnificent, light-filled La Seu Gothic
cathedral. Built of golden sandstone and
lined with flying buttresses that seem to
rise out of the sea, La Seu was created
during the rule of King James I of Aragon
in 1229, but was not completed until four
centuries later, in 1601. A small entrance
fee allows you to glimpse its many wonders: The nave has one of the world's largest rose windows, containing 1,236 pieces
of stained glass; and above the altar you'll
see Antoni Gaudi's controversial wroughtiron canopy, symbolizing the Crown of
Thorns.
To experience life in the heart of the city,
a stroll along the 100-year old, tree-lined
Passeig de Born is a must. The Passeig
de Born is a hub of fiestas and demonstrations, and a place where families go
to enjoy the evening. The promenade
is also lined with a selection of mid- to
high-range shops, such as Zara, Boss, and
Louis Vuitton. When you're ready to leave
the capital, pay a visit to the east coast of
the island, known for its caves and stunning beaches. The eerie-looking Caves of
Drach, one of the island's most unique attractions, extend for over 3,900 feet, with
craggy stalactite formations hanging from
above. The caves can be explored on a onehour guided tour, which includes a concert
of classical music and a boat trip across
Lake Martel, one of the largest subterranean lakes in the world.
A day on the isolated, rugged west coast
of Mallorca will most likely land you in
the quaint village of Valldemossa, where
you'll see that many of the residents hang
a tile plaque on their doors depicting
Santa Catalina Thomas, in the hope that
Mallorca's patron saint will protect them
from harm. The Royal Carthusian Monastery of Valldemossa, where the Carthusian
monks were based for several centuries, is
FEATURES/
the main draw card in the area. Lovers of
classical music will find delight in the souvenirs and personal objects left by Chopin
and George Sand, who spent a winter in
Valldemossa.
As you head back into Palma, a walk
through the Poble Espanyol (Spanish Village) will reveal the many distinct characteristics of Spanish architecture, showing
its development through Muslim and then
Christian influences. You can eat Spanish
food in the Plaza Mayor, or sit outside a
cafe watching passers-by browse for souvenirs at the village shops. Artists display handicrafts in workshops scattered
throughout the village.
When it comes to nightlife, Palma is
where lesbian travelers will find the best
options. There are LGBT parties on Saturday nights at the gay club La Demence,
as well as Harry's Palma Bar, and various
girls' nights at Isi Pub. Although the gay
clubs have a mostly mixed or majority
male clientele, there is a week every year
devoted entirely to the girls. The Ella International Lesbian Festival (ellafestivaL
com) will be in its third year in 2015,
where beach events and night parties are
packed into a late-summer extravaganza,
September 1-9. Scheduled sports activities include beach volleyball, yoga, running, paddle boarding, and a bike tour of
the island. There are also photography excursions, cooking classes, pool parties, and
blowout night parties with popular European lesbian DJs and artists. Past DJs have
included Michal Serr, Miss Cupcake, and
DJ Nica. The Ella International Lesbian
Festival allows for no down moments.
After a spell in Mallorca, take Air Berlin's short, one-hour flight to Ibiza. Air
Berlin is an IGLTA member and also
has an LGBT information site to promote travel within the gay community
(airberlin.com/lgbt). Ibiza is renowned
for bringing in the world's best DJs to sell
out events during the party season, which
runs from May through September. AfroJack, David Guetta, Carlcox, and Avicci
are some of the headliner DJs seen on billboards all over the island. But Ibiza is not
just for the party crowd-the island experience is replete with adventure, gourmet
cuisine, and ancient landmarks to discover.
TRA EL
Stay at the Ushua'ia Tower Hotel, in
the lively area of Playa d'en Bossa. As you
approach the lobby, you'll most likely hear
music by the resident Brit DJ, Paul Reynolds, spilling from the pool area. This is
a sign that the party has already started,
even if it's not yet 1 p.m. As a prelude to
the wild night that is sure to come, relax
on the gay-friendly Ses Salines public
beach, which is 10 minutes from the hotel.
During the drive, you can see miles of natural salt marshes, as well as the Church of
Sant Francese de s'Estany, Mediterranean
pinewoods, and thickets of gnarled sabina
trees. The Ses Salines Park salt marshes
date from 600 BC, and locals favor biking
or running along its scenic path.
If the sun has begun to set by the time
you arrive back at the hotel, you might
decide to head over to the Ushua'ia Club
next to the hotel, where dancers dressed
in slinky outfits move to the DJ's house
music and a crowd forms around the massive 50-foot stage. Ushua'ia was the first
property created as a combination hotel
and open-air club on the island, and it's
the premier destination in Ibiza for an
adults-only playground experience. The
wristband you receive at check-in will give
you free access to all the Ushua'ia parties.
Even the breakfast buffet offers premier
grown-up food, like lump black roe caviar
and air-dried beef from the Alps. If all this
doesn't sell you, then the hotel's inclusive
corporate philosophy surely will. According to Guille Rodriguez, a marketing manager for Ushua1a's parent company, the
Palladium Group, "There is no such thing
as gay-friendly here because everyone is
treated the same:'
On the western side of Ibiza, a beautiful
beach called Cala Salada, a tucked-away
paradise, is more familiar to the locals than
to tourists. Warm sand and crystal-dear
blue waters beckon you for a swim, or you
can rent a paddleboat for an up-close perspective of the coast. If you go on to dine
at the see-and-be-seen Cotton Beach Club
atop the cliffs overlooking Cala Tarida
Beach, you're in for a breathtaking sunset,
with sweeping views of the rocky outcroppings below you.
On Tuesday and Saturday nights, the
Hard Rock Hotel, across the street from
Ushua'ia, offers dinner and show on the
rooftop. At the Heaven restaurant, guests
can enjoy a four-course tapas menu while
watching a series of performances-ballet
dancers, sexy sailor dances, contortionists- in a setting that is very Las Vegas
and Miami wrapped together.
Although lesbian travelers usually attend mainstream parties and events, there
is a weekend in May devoted entirely
to women. The Velvet Ibiza party (velvetibiza.com), described as "The Wildest
Women Only Weekend;' takes place May
28-31, 2015, and includes pool parties,
concerts, yoga, and beach events. The
Lesbiathalon and the mountain bike excursion are for the daring women in your
group. Uh Huh Her headlines the Saturday night concert. Some of the European DJs scheduled to perform include DJ
Gunn, DJ Hildegard, and Kamikace.
Mallorca and Ibiza both sparkle with
centuries-old history and offer adventuresome activities on the Mediterranean Sea. With year-round mild weather
and popular annual lesbian weekends,
these Balearic Islands should be on your
to-vacation list.•
~Stockholm
The Capital of Scandinavia
V•ISi·t. •• Sweden
www.visitsweden.com
······•·•••••••
The New Mexico town is an art and recreation haven for lesbians.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
W
hile the Southwest has always
appealed to outdoorsy and
selfsufficient
lesbians, New
Mexico in particular has had
a powerful draw for women with an ar~
tistic bent. And on December 19, 2013,
legislation further paved the way for lesbian
lovebirds, with the New Mexico Supreme
Court ruling unanimously in favor of grant~
ing same~sex couples the freedom to marry.
Taos, a vibrant and picturesque town in
the north~central region of New Mexico,
is set against the stunning backdrop of the
Sangre de Cristo Mountains-a
landscape
that inspired the painter Georgia O'Keeffe
for 40 years.
The Taos Valley, the mountains, and the
Rio Grande create a kind of energy vortex
that has drawn expressive types to it for
many years. The vistas in this region are
dramatic, and the vibe feels ancient and
spiritual. The Taos Pueblo, an American
Indian settlement on the northern border
of the town, is considered to be the oldest
continuously inhabited community in the
United States, and it's a fascinating place
to visit, with its multistory adobe houses,
shops, a cemetery built in 1619 by Span~
ish priests using Indian labor, and the
San Geronimo Church, famously photo~
graphed by Ansel Adams.
Over the past hundred years, artists,
writers, and thinkers have made a pilgrim~
age here-to
meet, heal, create, or find
peace and quiet. Perhaps the best~known
artist colony in Taos was established by
the bisexual socialite Mabel Dodge Luhan
in 1919. Dodge, who was a close friend of
Gertrude Stein, was a prominent figure
in the art scenes of New York, Florence,
and Santa Barbara,
but her Taos salon
really took off, espe~
cially after she mar~
ried Tony Luhan,
a Pueblo Indian,
and it attracted Emma Goldman, Georgia
O'Keeffe, Willa Cather, Margaret Sanger,
Martha Graham, and many others. And
remarkable women have tarried in Taos
ever since.
WHERE TO SLEEP AND STAY
Today, Mabel Dodge Luhan House
(mabeldodgeluhan.com) operates as a his~
toric inn, retreat, and conference center.
Choose from 22 authentically decorated
rooms, some with magnificent courtyards,
such as the O'Keeffe Room, which has
twin beds and a private bath, and rents
for a reasonable $130 night. You can also
splurge on Mabel's own bedroom-with
its hand-carved double bed, private bath,
kiva fireplace, and private patio, as well as
a breathtaking view of the mesa and the
Taos Mountains-for
only $200 a night.
For something equally charming but
completely contemporary, the Palacio de
Marquesa Hotel (marquesataos.com) is
highly recommended. Managed by the
accommodating and openly gay Chad
Ozment, this is a lovely New Mexico inn,
recently refurbished to the highest design
standards. The beautifully appointed guest
rooms, each with a charming kiva fireplace
and trendy accent pieces, pay tribute to local identities, and throughout the year enticing packages are on offer. The Woman
Artist Package includes accommodation
in the Georgia O'Keeffe "Icon" guestroom,
souvenir postcards and handbook from
The Harwood Museum of Art, tickets to
the museum, a bottle of wine, breakfast for
two, complimentary WiFi, parking, plus a
Local Treasures 15 percent discount card
providing savings at shops, boutiques,
restaurants, and area attractions.
WHERE TO DINE, DRINK, AND DANCE
There's a lively and professional dining
scene in Taos, backed by a sustainable
farming and foodie culture. If romance is
at the top of your priorities list, The Love
Apple (theloveapple.net) will certainly
leave you feeling amorous. The restaurant
is housed in a cozy converted Catholic
church, and the kitchen turns out beautiful Mexican-influenced dishes featuring
organic local ingredients. My favoritewild quail stuffed
with green chile and
quinoa, served with a
walnut creme fraiche
sauce, cilantro, and
pomegranate seeds.
For an elegant
meal or that special
occasion,
Martyrs
Steakhouse is hard
to beat-and
it's
not just about the
rib eye and the local lamb chops. The
seafood is seasonal
and sustainable, and
was excellent when I
tried it, especially the
pin.on-crusted
ruby
trout. (martyrs-steakhouse.com)
For a hip and happening vibe, book
a table at Doc Martin's at the Historic
Taos Inn-and
you will need to book in
advance, because this spot is popular with
locals and visitors alike. The restaurant,
named after Dr. Thomas Paul "Doc" Martin, the county's first physician, is famous
for its hospitality, a reflection on the kindhearted frontier doc who was known to
accept a chicken or a sack of potatoes as
payment from patients too poor to pay
him in conventional currency. Adam Kerr,
the friendly food and beverage director,
says that every effort is made to draw from
seasonal, regional produce and local farmers, and the restaurant also utilizes its own
kitchen garden for herbs and greens. Must
try: the Rabbit & Rattlesnake Sausage.
The tagline of the Historic Taos Inn
( taosinn.com) is "everything comes together under one roof" and they aren't
kidding: After your meal at Doc's, you
might find yourself in need of libations
( the margaritas are excellent), live music,
and even lodgings. Though it's the place to
be on any night of the week, Tuesday is
gay night at The Adobe Bar.
Martina's Dance Hall is a great place
for live music and dancing too, and has an
authentic, old-timey Wild West feel. It's
directly across the road from the town's
famous much-photographed and -painted adobe church, San Francisco de Asis.
(oldmartinashall.com)
For a lunch adventure, take the winding and picturesque road from Taos to
the Sugar Nymphs Bistro (sugarnymphs.
com) in the township of Pefi.asco. Opened
14 years ago by a lesbian couple, Kai
Harper Leah and Ki Holste, a chef and
pastry chef, respectively, the "nymphs"
serve meals made with love, which should
always end with possibly the world's most
decadent carrot cake. You'll also relish the
fact that Kai and Ki support the social fabric of the area by collaborating with local
farmers, mentoring emerging foodies, and
often giving young folks their first job opportunities.
While on your country drive, stop in at
Vivac Winery's tasting room in the nearby
town of Dixon in spring, summer, and fall
(vivacwinery.com). Be sure to sample their
in-house cheese and chocolate while sipping the fine wines of New Mexico, such
as the distinctive Dolcetto, a smoky red.
THINGS TO DO AND SEE
At the top of my list when I travel is relaxing, and at Ojo Caliente (ojospa.com),
an hour's drive from Taos, you can soothe
your tired muscles and soak your aching
bones in a private outdoor mineral pool,
complete with kiva fireplace. What a treat
on a starry night! The public pools are also
great for an all~day stay. Choose from 11
pools, each fed by the millennia~old geo~
thermal mineral waters that spring from
a subterranean volcanic aquifer. Ojo is the
only hot springs in the world with four
different types of mineral water, including
lithium, iron, soda, and arsenic-said
to
relieve ailments such as depression, im~
mune deficiency, stress, arthritis, and skin
conditions. After all this hydrotherapy,
have a massage or a healthy meal at Arte~
sian Restaurant.
Sightseeing and activities in Taos de~
pend on the time of your visit. The county
experiences four full seasons and around
300 sunny days per year, so outdoor ad~
ventures, from hiking in the Rio Grande
Gorge State Park to alpine skiing, are pos~
sible throughout the year. Drive the high
road to take in the little historic villages
and observe the buffalo, the church, and
the Pueblo of Picuris, and do spend some
time at the Taos Pueblo perusing the rea~
sonably priced and authentic native Indian
wares- I was tempted by the spirit animal
carvings, corn necklaces, and distinctive
pottery polished with horsehair and river
stones (taospueblo.com).
Taos is also an art collector's para~
dise, with beautiful pieces such as can~
vases, rugs, and hand~carved furniture
for sale at Wilder Nightingale Gallery
(wnightingale.com), DAFA (davidantho~
nyfineart.com), and Los Comadres, the
women's co~op gallery on Bent Street (lo~
scomadresgallery.com). For jewelry, Emily
Benoist Ruffin, a brilliant goldsmith on
Bent Street, may have an award~winning,
handmade ring perfect for popping the
question (emilyruflin.com).
While Taos is easy to navigate, and its
beauty obvious (mountains and red wil~
lows everywhere!), consider engaging a
guide to take you off the beaten path and
to surprising places. You won't find a bet~
ter guide than Robert Cafazzo of Two
Graces Plaza Gallery (twograces.com).
An accomplished artist and Taos retailer
and resident, Robert knows every nook
and cranny of the county and will create
an itinerary to suit your tastes-whether
that's suggesting where to stay, the best
shopping deals, or the must~see galleries.
He's also great at dishing historic gossip,
taking you hiking, scouring the land for
petroglyphs and pottery shards, or finding
the best vantage points for selfies! Who
can beat a guide who takes you to the very
sites where Georgia O'Keeffe set up her
easel, and who introduces you to many
of today's remarkable and accomplished
women of Taos.
TODAY'S REMARKABLE WOMEN OF TAOS
Strong
and stylish celebrity women
such as Ali McGraw, Lauren Hutton, and
Julia Roberts have made Taos their home,
and last spring, Edible Santa Fe magazine ran
a special Taos Women and Food issue and
The Taos News came out with Taos Woman:
Celebrating the Feminine Spirit. These pub~
lications, full of fascinating profiles of notable
women of the region, indicate that there is a
rich and tightly connected feminist and lesbi~
an network in Taos.
Some of the women I met on my visit in~
eluded Kathleen Brennan, the documentary
filmmaker and photographer (brennanstu~
dio.com), and her partner Kat Duff, the au~
thor of widely~praised book The Secret Life
of Sleep; Nancy Stapp, radio talk show host
at 1340AM KVOT; the acclaimed granite
sculptor Candyce Garret; Heather Pipkin
Stapp, pharmacist, DJ and coordinator of
the Taos Gay Pride Parade (taospride.org);
filmmaker and part~time resident/ vacation
rental owner Melissa Howden; and numerous
LGBT allies such as fine art photographer
Pattie Traynor, and Mary Domito, local per~
sonality and retailer at Taos Lifestyle. With
such a cool group of women thrilled to come
out and meet us, it was hard to leave Taos
and I will most certainly return one day.
(taos.org) •
Oppositepage: Taos Pueblo;Palaciode Marquesa
This page: Palaciode Marquesa; Ojo Caliente spa
Thoroughly
Modern
Yesteryear's lodging for women only is today's hipster heaven.
BY MERRYN JOHNS
N
ew Yorkers are spoiled for choice
when it comes to iconic hotels,
so it's a pleasure to try something
new-even
if it's a revival. Once
upon a time, the Martha Washington was
the first and most famous hotel reserved ex~
elusively for women. Named after the wife
of George Washington, who was known to
be a gracious hostess at Mount Vernon, the
hotel was an early 20th century refuge for
poets, entrepreneurs, artists, and thespi~
ans, including Eleanor Roosevelt, the poet
Sara Teasdale, and film stars Louise Brooks
and Veronica Lake. Today, it's a landmark
Renaissance Revival property "exclusively
for everyone;' as the tagline goes.
Established in 1903, it's been impec~
cably renovated, and retains flourishes of
its former glory, including grand interi~
or features such as terrazzo floors, fluted
columns, and coffered ceilings. History is
balanced by humor: Above my very comfy
bed were arty sil~
houettes of Victo~
rian ladies smoking
pipes and holding
axes or liquor bot~
des-quite
the Liz~
zie Borden touch!
But it's a good thing
Chelsea Hotels and
its creative partners Selldorf Architects,
Pandiscio Co., and Union Square Hos~
pitality Group revived good old Martha
Washington not as a fusty Victorian, but
as a chic and contemporary suffragette!
Located at 29 East 29th Street, the
Martha Washington, with its 261 fully
appointed rooms and suites, is close to the
attractions of Fifth, Madison, and Park
avenues for shopping, coffee, or cocktails,
but your best dining experience is offered
by the property's restaurant, Marta. Mar~
ta offers contemporary Italian by Danny
Meyer's trend~aware Union Square Hos~
pitality Group and occupies the spec~
tacular ground floor space off the hotel's
entry. With an interior designed by An~
nabelle Selldorf, Marta is modern, warm
and yet breezy, due to its soaring ceilings
and open kitchen which proudly displays
two pizza ovens. On the night I
dined, service was impeccable and
everything was delicious-from
the carafe of wine to the rustic,
thin~crust wood~fired pizza. But
don't stop at pizza. The rabbit and
ricotta meatballs are a must, as is
any dish cooked alle brace, over the
oven's embers! Marta is also open
for breakfast and lunch, seven days
a week, so don't be surprised if
you take all your meals in this chic
space. (chelseahotels.com) •
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{305)294-4603
TLOOKtSTARS
Summer Sizzle
Mars in sensuous Taurus and Venus in romantic Cancer bring
on some early heat. By Charlene Lichtenstein
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Spruce up your surroundings
to make them more in sync
Carol star Cate Blanchett turned
46 on May 14.
TAURUS %
(April 21-May 21))
Taurus the Bull is an
earthy woman guided
by insatiable appetites
that strive to be fulfilled.
She is generous, genial,
gorgeous and blessed
with exquisite taste and
style. These gals know
how to live well and only
aspire to have enough
money to support their
lavish lifestyles, a randy
girlfriend, and still have a
bit left in the bank for a
rainy day.
GEMINI
(May 22-June 21)
Sapphic Twins tend to
lead double lives. It is not
uncommon for them to
have two (or more) lovers
at any one time. They
may also hold two jobs,
have two homes, two
cars ... you get the idea.
They are also the masters
of opposites, able to see
two different sides of an
argument and have two
separate opinions for
every one issue. (Give me
two shots of bourbon; I'm
seeing double!)
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80
CURVE
MAY/JUN
2015
Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 22)
act. Lionesses love to be the
center of attention but you
can achieve more if you let go
and allow others to plan the
festivities. They will be happy
to carry you off on their
shoulders. Be regal and wave
break room but mixing business
with pleasure will have its pros
and cons. For one thing, it
might impede your professional
progress. But on the other
hand, do you really care?
Complications get your blood
pumping and that makes your
passion even greater. Pump it
while you can.
with what you need. Then see
who you can lure to your crib
to admire your amazing work.
Lambda Rams need a refuge
to rest their stressed nerves.
De-stress your nerves any way
you can, honey. Ahem.
to the adoring crowds.
Taurus (April 21-May 21)
Virgo (Aug 24-Sept 23)
Have an opinion or a few
good thoughts? This is the
time to eloquently express
yourself and see where your
great ideas can take you. You
may even be able to cash in
You will begin to see the
fruits of your labors grow
and ripen. So take advantage
of good timing, Virgo, and
plan your next move up the
corporate ladder. Be kind and
on a personal project that has
been simmering on your back
burner for a while. Some of
those "personal projects" can
be very hot. Lucky you!
generous as you advance and
remember those who helped
you get a leg up. They say
that it is lonely at the top but
it is never lonely when you are
on top.
Love can percolate in the office
Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 20)
Balance is everything. As much
as you want to put in a great
effort at work, you need to
maintain balance and give more
attention to lovergrrls at the
same time. Too many late nights
at the office will dampen your
home life. Too many late nights
stoking the home fires will leave
you with less energy at work.
Gemini (May 22-June 21)
Any secret that you have been
trying to keep under wraps
becomes totally unwrapped
and unleashed into the public
discourse. Oops! Now what?
Embrace your situation and
enjoy the attention it brings.
Who knows? It may prove to
be notorious. And the ladies
love notoriety.
Cancer (June 22-July 23)
You are compelled to wheel
and deal behind the scenes
now, Cancer. There are forces
that are magnificent for you
but need to be controlled.
The better you can apply
all of your diplomatic and
political skills, the more
successful you will be in
implementing your pet
Charlene
Lichtenstein
istheauthor~
of HerScopes:
AGuide
to Astrology
~
for Lesbians
(Simon
& Schuster),
projects. Did I say pet? I
nowavailable
asanebook(tinyurl.~
com/HerScopes).
~ meant petting.
%
Leo (July 24-Aug 23)
Gal pals want to get into your
Libra (Sept 24-Oct 23)
The urge to travel and get
into mischief builds through
the next few weeks. What are
you waiting for? Grab your
favorite amour du jour and
explore her parts, known and
unknown, here and there and
everywhere. Will all of this
randy adventure become
deeply boring? Oh let's hope
so, luscious Libra!
Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19)
Tackle longstanding home
projects now while you have
the stamina. Some may involve
physical improvements and
others may require emotional
investment, and more money
than you think, but the end
results will be terrific. Then show
off your beautiful taste. Hmm,
anyone we know, Aqueerius?
Pisces (Feb 20-March 20)
Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov 22)
Scorpios love to have deep
and intense connections with
their lovergrrls but the dayto-day grind can fray even
the strongest of them. New
loves can be found when you
burrow out of your own yard
and graze in new pastures.
Is that what they are calling
it now?
Party hearty Guppie and see
who swims into your social pool
in time for summer festivities.
Your effortless ability to charm
will result in more women
wanting to meet you and get to
know you. Be choosy. There are
only so many celestial bodies
you can to pull into your orbit.
All the rest must become
distant orbs.
*
Join Macy's as we
Celebrate Family + Friends + Love + Life + Equality + Respect
We are proud to join the parade across America in honor of National Pride Month.
We think ifs really something to celebrate.
Plus, join us in supporting
The Trevor Project this year!
The Trevor Project provides life-saving crisis
intervention for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender,
and questioning (LGBTO) youth.
FOR
MORE
DETAILS
visit MACYS.COM/CELEBRATE
ma
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*
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