-
Description
-
ToC Spring Fashion Special (p34); Body Talk (p42); Women on Top (p54); Sapphic Short Story (p58); Super Susie (p62); Cover: Foodie Femme (p 64); Make Mine Myanmar (p70); Nautical and Nice (p74)
See all items with this value
-
issue
-
2
-
Date Issued
-
Mar-Apr 2016
-
Format
-
PDF/A
-
Publisher
-
Frances Stevens
-
Identifier
-
Curve_Vol26_No2_March-April-2016_OCR_PDFa.pdf
-
extracted text
-
l
TheFloridaKeys
Key\\tst
Close To Perfect - Far From Normal
curve
MAR/APR
2016
FEATURES
3~1
SPRING FASHION SPECIAL
This season it's all about
feeling comfortable in your
skin courtesy of Wildfang,
Capulet, and Bluestockings.
BODY TALK
Meet inspiring women who are
literally shaping themselves into
what they want to be, whether
that means lifting weights,
going unshaven, or having
great differently-abled sex.
5~
WOMEN ON TOP
Celebrating 35 years of the
lesbian-feminist theater
collective, the WOW Cafe.
58
SAPPHIC SHORT STORY
Jove Belle's "Downward Facing
Dog" takes place in a women's
hot yoga class.
62
SUPER SUSIE
Former tennis champ Susie
Abromeit is a hit in Marvel's lezfriendly classic Jessica Jones.
70
MAKE MINE MYANMAR
The Southeast Asian nation
welcomes queer travelers to
relax and take a river voyage
that fills the senses.
,~
NAUTICAL AND NICE
The Stockholm archipelago
offers ocean-loving ladies the
best sailing, spas, and seafood.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
1
MAR/APR
2016
11
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
IN EVERYISSUE
4
EDITOR'S NOTE
6
CURVETTES
8
FEEDBACK
11
THE GAYDAR
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
TRENDS
REVIEWS
9 LES LOOKS LIKE
Each issue we pick a lucky lez
with a look and a life to match.
24 MUSIC
The legendary Melissa
Etheridge on her new perspective on life and health. By
Tiffany Lawana
12 BEAUTY
The best cruelty-free products
for your face and body.
14 LESBOFILE
What's new and noteworthy
with our favorite celesbians.
By Jocelyn Voo
VIEWS
16 POLITICS
Deep thoughts and heartfelt
convictions on a different topic
each issue from our contributing politics editor. By Victoria
A. Brownworth
18 OUT IN FRONT
Meet the community leaders
who are doing us proud. By
Sheryl Kay
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
28 SEX
Tap into the power of lesbian
and female desire with sex life
coach Amy Jo Goddard's new
book in Woman on Fire. By
Marcie Bianco
31 FILMS
We review the lez-trans feature
Her Story; plus the funny and
familiar Portrait of a Serial
Monogamist. By Lisa Tedesco
& Mallorie DeRiggi
18 IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT ...
LAST LOOK
LGBT news from across the
country. By Sassafras Lowrey
79 CROSSWORD
Can you tame our Queer Quiz?
By Myles Mellor
22 LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Relationship advice from our
trusted butch-femme duo. This
issue we bid them farewell I
2
26 BOOKS
If you have questions about
your sexuality and coming out,
just "Ask a Queer Chick." By
Yana Tallon-Hicks
-
Si:-::i1111
Tlli1111sl p
N
umerous studies claim that lesbians and "sexualminority women" are more obese than straight
women-The National Center for Biotechnology,
2007, and the National Institutes of Health (NIH), 2013, among
others. These studies, much like the theory of Lesbian Bed
Death put forth in 1983, are usually the work of scientists and
sociologists working with a small sample size and little real
connection to the lesbian community.
For example, the NIH study, which proclaimed that
75 percent of lesbians are obese, had a sample size of 87
lesbians compared to a significantly larger test group of
5,460 straight women. How can it be that a study that
purports to analyze the health and well-being of a minority
demographic treats its subjects as a minority within the
study? Each time these studies are funded and conducted,
and their findings are released, the media seizes upon the
statistics to repackage already well-worn myths about sexual
minorities.
I'm not saying that fat lesbians don't exist. They do, and
many of them are happy-many also healthy. But lesbians are
not just fat. They come in all shapes and sizes. And a// of their
bodies matter.
This is our annual Body issue, and in it, we celebrate the
physical diversity of lesbian, bisexual, and queer women.
That includes some incredible people, such as: our Top
Chef cover girl Karen Akunowicz; breast cancer survivor
and vegetarian Melissa Etheridge; British weightlifter and
model Bees Cronshaw; formerly "fat" vegan activist and
memoirist Jasmin Singer; sexual empowerment coach Amy
Jo Goddard; performance artist and teacher Holly Hughes;
trans-inclusive fashion entrepreneur Jenna Kadlec; and
"unshaven" enthusiast Nikki Silver, to name a few. Plus, an
in-depth article featuring voices on sexuality and disability
is a must-read (page 48). Not to mention some lovely spring
style, fine fiction, and spa-centric getaways!
The women in this issue have varying body types,
identities, professions, and experiences. But what they
all share in common is the belief that their well-being and
personal power is located in their freedom of physical
expression. In an election year, when the war on women's
bodies is at its most intense, I think you'll agree that's an
important power to claim.
~z
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
merryn@curvemag.com
Life is too short for cookie-cutter vacations. When you travel with Olivia, you are
not just going on vacation. You are a part of something much bigger.
Something unique.
On an Olivia vacation, you are surrounded by women of all ages and ethnicities from all over the world. We charter entire cruise
ships and buy out whole resorts so you can be out and free to be yourself. Whether you travel with your partner, best friends or
solo, you'll fit right in.
On our trips, your shared sense of adventure with other lesbians will allow you to forge new friendships, find new love or simply
revel in being free to be yourself. You will return feeling not only relaxed, but empowered. Weinviteyou toexperienceTheOlivia
Difference.
■
■
0 IVICJ
THE TRAVEL COMPANY FOR LESBIANS
VISIT OLIVIA.COM OR CALL (800) 631-6277
CST#1009281040
RONT /
cu RVETTES
NEVE BE
Neve Be is a mouthy, multidisciplinary artist and queer black
punk. They are a writer at Harlot magazine, maximumrocknro/1,
modelviewculture.com, Plenitude and Everyday Feminism.
Neve also writes, performs, and makes films as their erotic
persona Lyric Seal, responsible for the advice column "Slumber
Party!" on crashpadseries.com. A performer and organizer
with performance group and disability justice organization
Sins Invalid, Neve is based between Seattle and Oakland. Visit
nevebeyankin.tumblr.com
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
MAR/APR
2016
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
» VOLUME
26 NUMBER
2
PUBLISHER Silke Bader
FOUNDING PUBLISHER Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Merryn Johns
SENIORCOPY EDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Melanie Barker, Kathy Beige,
Marcie Bianco, Victoria A. Brownworth, Gina Daggett,
Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Anita Dolce Vita, Sheryl Kay, Gillian
Kendall, Dave Steinfeld, Jocelyn Voo
EDITORIALASSISTANTSLisa Tedesco, Annalese Davis
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONS Jeannie Sotheran
PROOFING
SARAH HAHN CAMPBELL
PROOFREADER lndre McGinn
ADVERTISING
Sarah is an essayist and novelist who lives in Denver, Colo.,
where she teaches high school English and parents a beautiful
little girl with her wife Meredith. Campbell has published work
in a variety of publications, including Room Magazine, Sinister
Wisdom, Iris Brown Lit Mag, and Adoptive Families Magazine.
Her novella, The Beginning of Us, came out in January 2014.
She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Naropa University,
and writes the monthly column "Subversions" for Brain Mill
Press.Visit sarahhahncampbell.org
NATIONALSALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ART DIRECTOR Bruno Cesar Guimaraes
SOCIAL MEDIA
MANAGERAnnalese Davis
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Jenny Block, Kelsy Chauvin, Mallorie
DeRiggi, Dar Dowling, Jill Goldstein, Kristin Flickinger, Kim
Hoffman, Francesca Lewis, Charlene Lichtenstein, Tiffany
Ceridwen Lowana, Sassafras Lowrey, Kelly McCartney,
Myles Mellor, Emelina Minero, Laurie K. Schenden,
Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson, Rosanna RiosSpicer, Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Steph Brusig, Grace Chu, Meagan Cignoli, Sophy Holland,
Sara Lautman, Syd London, Maggie Parker, Diana Price, B.
Proud, Robin Roemer, Leslie Van Stelten
JOVE BELLE
Jove Belle has been a part of the lesbian fiction publishing
community for almost a decade. In addition to being an author
and editor, she is a founding member and co-ad min of the
popular lesbian fiction blog womenwords.org. She lives with
her partner and six children, one dog, one cat, nine chickens, a
mortgage payment, one sedan, and a cushy SUV big enough
to hold the Lesbian Brady Bunch. Her books include Uncommon
Romance, Love and Devotion, Indelible, Chaps, Split the Aces,
and Edge of Darkness. Visit jovebelle.com
SHELLEYLINDLEY
Shelley obtained her BSc in Immunology before carrying out a
PhD. She then went on to fulfill her passion to be a professional
writer. She loves to travel and adores good conversation,
spontaneous moments, live music and cooking. Her ideal
evening would be cooking in the kitchen with wine, music and
the disco ball. Her knowledge of quotes and random facts
is legendary. Her icons are vast-from her friends, to Albert
Einstein, to Winston Churchill. Find Shelley on Facebook. (She
keeps it simple; Shelley Lindley.)
CONTACT INFO
Curve Magazine
PO Box 467
New York, NY 10034
PHONE(415) 871-0569
SUBSCRIPTIONINQUIRIES(BOO) 705-0070
(toll-free in us only)
ADVERTISINGEMAIL todd@curvemagazine.com
EDITORIALEMAIL editor@curvemag.com
LETTERSTO THE EDITOREMAIL letters@curvemagazine.com
Volume 26 Issue 2 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published 6 times
per year (January/February, March/April, May/June, July/August,
September/October, November/December) by Avalon Media, LLC,
PO Box 467, New York NY 10034. Subscription price: $35/year, $45
Canadian (U.S. funds only) and $55 international (U.S. funds only).
Returned checks will be assessed a $25 surcharge. Periodicals
postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additional mailing
offices (USPS 0010-355). Contents of Curve Magazine may not
be reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part, without
written permission from the publisher. Publication of the name or
photograph of any persons or organizations appearing, advertising
or listing in Curve may not be taken as an indication of the sexual
orientation of that individual or group unless specifically stated.
Curve welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and
artwork. Include SASE for response. Lack of any representation
only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions cannot be
returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope is included.
No responsibility is assumed for loss or damages. The contents
do not necessaraly represent the opinions of the editor, unless
specifically stated. All magazines sent discreetly. Subscription
Inquiries: Please write to Curve, Avalon Media LLC., PO Box 467
New York NY 10034, email jeannie@curvemag.com
Canadian
Agreement Number: 40793029. Postmaster: Send Canadian
address changes to jeannie@curvemag.com,
Curve, PO Box
122, Niagara Falls, ON L2E 6S8. Send U.S. address changes to
jeannie@curvemag.com,
Curve, PO Box 17138, N. Hollywood,
CA 91615-7138.Printed in the U.S.
curvemag.com
6
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
FREE TR_lAL OFFER
Enjoy a 30-day trial on the App store*
Get even closer to Curve with extended
content, and interactive features such as our
Lesbian Movie and Book Library.
-
Download on the
.-
App Store
Apple, the apple logo and iPad are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the US and other countries. App store is a service mark of Apple Inc
*Free Trial offer only available on the App Store. Paid subscription commences at conclusion of free trial period.
Free trial is for new digital customers only.
RONT /
FEEDBACK
are lesbians who have made
real contributions to the
LGBTcommunity, but also
to women generally, and to
mainstream culture as well.
This made me very proud to
be a lesbian. Thank you Curve,
for doing important work!
- Lisa Davis, Burlington Vt.
MAKING HERSTORY
Words cannot express how
impressed I was with your
History Issue [Jan/Feb V.26#1].
Who knew the band BETTY
was so fabulous? I only knew
them from The L Word and
that catchy theme song. It
was amazing to hear about
their firm friendship, and
their history of activism and
standing up for everyone's
rights-not just their own.
That really set the tone for
the whole issue. A majority
of the women I read about
CHERRY ON TOP
I was very interested to read
your interview with the great
Cherry Jones ["On a Role,"
V.26#1].I have admired her
work for such a long time,
and I think she is positively
wonderful. I both loved and
hated that she went and
got married to a gorgeous
woman. Good for her, she
sounds so happy! Sucks to be
me, however.
- Lori McPherson, via email
MOM'S THE WORD
If I can change one stubborn
parent, hopefully I can change
them all. The other day at
work a woman came in with
her daughter. Accompanying
the two of them was a church
friend of the mother's. The
girl was 15 years old. Her eyes
were puffy and red and she
looked extremely tired. The
mother rudely told the girl
to sit down while she signed
her name in. With her head
down, the girl walked quietly
and did what her mother
told her. I assumed the girl
was pregnant. What else
could provoke such anger
in a parent? Apparently the
girl came out to her mother
that she was gay. The mother
thought that was the most
evil thing in the world that a
person could be. She began
to berate the child in front
of other patients and talked
with her friend about getting
the child exorcised of her
demons. This pissed me off!
I have a son who is gay. I was
upset at first but I would never
make him feel like he was less
than a person. So instead of
slapping the mess out of this
cow, I decided to write. I'm not
much of a writer, but I wonder
Fit•i•■ ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::·.::::::·.·.:::::::y1
WHAT
WILL
YOU
DO
FOR
YOUR
BODY
THIS
SPRING?
if this is how most parents feel.
I wrote this because I want
some mother or father to read
it and know that they are not
alone. And if I can love my child
through whatever misguided
teachings that I have grown up
with, maybe they can too.
- Shannon Reynolds, via email
BISEXUAL INCLUSIVITY
I really enjoy reading Curve
magazine. My spouse (who is
female) brings them home for
me as a treat, she is so nicel
In addition to the interesting
articles, it's so fun to see
myself reflected in the queer
ads. However, it kind of hurts
my feelings when I see so
much bisexual invisibility
throughout the pages. Pete's
sake, even on the cover it
says LESBIAN magazine
under the word Curve. Could
that maybe be changed to
queer? Or some other less
exclusionary word? I am
happily married to a woman,
but I am not a lesbian. I'm
bisexual. I think there are
others out there like me who
enjoy this magazine but
don't feel great about being
rendered invisible.
- Sara Bosely, via email
Editor's Note: Curve
was founded in 1989 as a
S% Takeit to a hot yoga class
magazine for all women who
are same-sex attractedincluding queer, bisexual,
20% Treat it as my temple
and trans women. The word
'lesbian' is not intended to
25% Make sure it has sexy time!
be exclusionary. Historically,
it has been used to describe
4,7% Watch what I put into it
same-sex attracted women,
and in using it we refer to
both the identity and the
tendency, and assume its
..........................................................................................................................................................................
rich intersectionality .
...........................................................................................................................................................................
Send
WRITE
Curve magazine, PO Box 467, New York, NY 10034
US!Email: letters@curvemagazine.com
to:
8
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
Subscriber Services are now available at
curvemag.com/magazine
✓ subscribe
✓ pay your bill
✓ change address
✓ renew
✓ get missing issues
✓ give a gift
www.outa ndeq ua l.org
f
~
D
•o D
PICKS
»
PRODUCTS»
PEOPLE
»
The legendary DJ brings her magic
to the dancefloor at Club
Skirts Dinah Shore
Weekend.
·-~
_.,........
....
,,,
, .............
~.-,.,.
.
··--~---~:;•._,.,..--
....--------·--
---,·--
.
TRENDS/
THE GAYO R
p
~ THEGAYDAR
~
Takes one to know one? Let our gaydar help
~ you decide who's hot, who's not, who's
~ shaking it and who's faking it in lesboland.
~ BY MELANIE BARKER
~
The Academy of
Motion Picture Arts
and Sciences snubs
Carol for Best Picture
and Best Director
nominations, even
though we know it's the
best flick of the year
Carrie-Anne Moss
actually looks like a slutty
power dyke in Jessica
Jones
Tsai Ing-wen, Taiwan's first female
president is pro LGBTrights and same-sex
marriage, posting a video on her Facebook
page saying "I support marriage equality ...
let everyone be able to freely love and
pursue happiness"
Out lesbian Lena
Waithe captivates
audiences as Aziz
Anzari's lesbian
friend Denise in
Master of None on
Netflix. Werk it, girll
Kendall
Jenner
and Cara
Delevingne,
aka CaKe,
spark lesbian
rumors prior to
launching their
clothing brand
of the same
Caitlyn Jenner
doesn't want
to date women
now that she
is one. "I've
been there,
done that, got
three ex-wives,"
she says in the
Season 2 trailer
for I Am Cait
w
~
~
X
~z
85
z
~w
sz
0
w
Hillary
Clinton's
lesbian
pantsuits,
as identified
by a Slate
columnist
°"
w
Amy Poehler
and Tina Fey's
(not very
funny) parody
of tortured
cinematic
Carol-esque
lesbian love
on SNL
There's a baby boom
for Tig Notaro and wife
Stephanie Allynne, who
are expecting twinsl
_j
I
2
g
~
z
z
~
8
Performance artist
StaceyAnn Chin's critically
acclaimed Motherstruck is
directed by Cynthia Nixon
(and produced by Rosie
O'Donnell) off Broadway
Rowan Blanchard, the 14-year-old
who plays Riley Matthews on the
Disney Channel series Girl Meets
World, comes out as queer on Twitter
Amy Schumer begins
her acceptance speech
for Best Actress in a
Comedy Film at the
Critics Choice Awards
by saying she "would
love to go down on"
Lily Tomlin
<(
z
<(
0
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
11
TRENDS/
BEAUTY
XoOuch
at thcHcach
After no real sun for months, it's natural
to overdo it on your first trip to the
beach. Key West Aloe has products that
will save your skin-literally. Save a Tan
Sho,vc1~
Yo1u~sctr
,vith S1n~ing
Turn over a new leaf with premium,
cruelty free bodycare from Lush. Rub
Rub Rub Body Scrub-no bath or
bottle required. Just gently buff away
dry skin under the shower with this
jasmine, mimosa and orange-scented
is a creamy after-sun moisturizer made
with 80 percent aloe vera and scented
with coconut and key lime. Apply to
moist skin after a shower to prevent
peeling. If you have painful sunburn,
reach for Aloe Max 100 to cool, soothe,
and hydrate your skin. If you were bitten
at the beach, or missed a few places
when applying your sunscreen and
are feeling itchy, ComfortCaine, with
94 percent aloe vera and 4 percent
Lidocaine, will give you some aloe RX
and take the ouch out of a day at the
beach. It's even better when stored in
the fridge! (keywestaloe.com)
bar made from sea salt and Cupuac;u
butter. For a richer body conditioning
experience, Ro'sArgan Body
Conditioner made by Lush product
inventor Rowena, is a decadent
apres-shower cream enriched with
cocoa and Cupuac;u butters, almond
and Argan oils, and the delicate
scent of fresh rose petals-a perfect
post-winter skin softener. Even better,
Lush raised $425,000 from their 2015
#GaylsOK campaign, led by Alessandro
aL.Oe
rTlc3H
~
100
~
SKln
GeL
Commisso, donating it to the Love
Fund, which supports LGBT equality
worldwide. (lush.com)
111
,1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111!
11
l'i
~:A:iB:a~
rlhel 111ll
H1~azilia11
women
1Hidro~tonte
Corporal
·-~Prolongad,I
Sod~oisturizer
~tfydnllO<'I
Hidrotante
Corporal
~
.....
Hydrotont
Corporei
~-
SJ~@.r
ii
,_
,-
Notu,ol
~P ........
Wf,i,
yntitetk;fr1>9<•c
!, 6.76fl.oz./200mle
I~
r~
12
CURVE
MAR/APR
l
r
2016
Get your Amazon on with an amazing line of bodycare products for women. Committed to
environmental conservation, animal protection and social responsibility, Surya Brasil has created a
collection of vegan and sustainably harvested products that are non-GMO, vegan certified, and never
tested on animals. We love the Sapien Women Body Moisturizer made from 100 percent natural and
organic aloe leaf juice, macadamia seed oil, murumuru seed butter, and the delicious and superhydrating Cupuac;u butter, which smells like a cross between pineapple and chocolate. From head to
toe, Surya Brasil has an eco-certified product, sustainably harvested from the Amazon rainforest, to
help you restore your natural balance. (suryabrasilproducts.com)
TRENDS/
GOSSIp
• IN DEFENSE OF J-LAW
LES
BO
FILE
OUR FAVORITE CELEBS ARE BREAKING UP, COMING
OUT, AND GETTING IT ON.
BY JOCELYN VOO
• RUBY ROSE ROCKS ON
Some spend months crying into
pints of ice cream when broken
up with. Others seems to take it
in much better stride. Like Ruby
Rose, for instance, who, after a very
public (though seemingly amicable)
breakup with fiancee Phoebe Dahl,
was photographed mere weeks later
spending time with her purported new
gal-pal, singer Halsey. The two "met"
on Twitter after the Orange is the New
Black actor tweeted out a simple "hi."
Halsey replied in kind, and the rest is
history. #relationshipgoals
Equally adored for her Oscar wins as
much as her Oscar foibles (back-toback stair-tripping, anyone?), Jennifer
Lawrence is the subject of many a
celebrity lady-crush. So when the
tomboyish actress told Glamour that
her style was "slutty power lesbian,"
the
Internet
was
gleeful-and
horrified. Twitter was aflutter with
women who took offense to the gag,
but leave it to Ruby Rose to reinstate
peace, telling New York magazine,
"Jennifer Lawrence is an amazing
actress and an amazing advocate for
women and women's empowerment
and the wage gap in Hollywood
and so many amazing things ... She's
always spending so much of her time
supporting other women and the
LGBT community. There's no way
that she meant that with any kind of
malice." Word.
• KOMING OUT KARDASHIAN
Oh boy, guess which Kardashian is
allegedly koming out now? "Kendall is
a lesbian," a source told OK! Magazine.
"She's only just started talking about
it with her inner circle." The source
then
attributed
model
Kendall
Kardashian's about-face to her close
supermodel
and openly bisexual
friend,
Cara Delevingne.
We're
definitely on the skeptical side of this
one, but if not, prepare the DVR for the
inevitable TV special.
• BLACK GIRL POWER
• NO LABELS PLEASE
Keke Palmer, whose screen fame
includes Akeelah and the Bee and the
TV slasher Scream Queens, is also a
budding vocalist. The music video
to her latest single, "I Don't Belong
to You," depicts
Palmer waking up
in bed with a man, but in the end
knocking on the door of a gorgeous
woman who leads the lingerie-clad
singer into her home. Palmer ignores
"the specifics of 'Am I gay? Am I
straight? Am I bi?'... I'm making the
rules for myself, and I don't have to be
stuck down to one label."
14
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
Known as Rue in the first Hunger Games
alongside Jennifer Lawrence, Amandla
Stenberg, 17, has come out as bisexual.
In the January Teen Vogue, Stenberg
made a Snapchat video addressing
her Black Pride (her mother is AfricanAmerican, her father Danish): "It's deeply
bruising to fight against your identity and
to mold yourself into shapes that you just
shouldn't be in. As someone who identifies
as a black bisexual woman, I've been
through it and it hurts and it's awkward
and it's uncomfortable ... Then I realized
because of Solange and [director] Ava
DuVernay and Willow [Smith] and all the
black girls watching this right now, that
there's absolutely nothing to change."
TRENDS/SHE
SAID
"I'm
not, like, malehating. I believe we need
them too. But the reality is that
people are brought up thinking
that women are inferior ... Enough is
enough."
Abby Wambach to Fortune.
corn's Most Powerful Women
Next Gen Summit in
San Francisco
"From Ma
[Rainey] comes
Bessie [Smith], from Bessie
comes Billie [Holiday], from Billie
comes Nina Simone. This legacy of
radical feminine consciousness and
political activism is channeled through the
voice. Voices speaking from the stage,
from the phonograph, from the radio
what could not be said in their daily
lives."
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
15
Who Is Winning the War on Women?
Women's History Month is the time to reflect on our lack of progress.
BY VICTORIA
A. BROWNWORTH
This election year, with America closer
to electing a woman president than ever
before, the dismissiveand often derisive tone
with which Women's History Month is often
met feels more personal than ever.
Ted Cruz wants to spank Hillary Clinton,
like he does his 5-year-old daughter.
Bernie Sanders thinks Planned Parenthood
and the Human Rights Campaign are as
establishment as Wall Street and wants
to "take them on." Marco Rubio has cosponsored several bills in the Senate limiting
women's access to both contraception and
abortion. Donald Trump-well, where to
begin?-insinuated that Megyn Kelly was
having her period when she asked him
hard questions, and told Brande Roderick,
"Must be a pretty picture, you dropping to
your knees" in a boardroom. Jeb Bush gets
confused over which is which: President
Obama's older daughter, Malia, or Nobel
Peace Prize-winner Malala.
Yet Oscar-winner Susan Sarandon
doesn't think women should "vote with their
vaginas"-as she poses on a sofa in a low-cut
16
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
blouse at age 70. What year is it?
It might as well be 1872. That was the
year Victoria Woodhull (pictured above), a
leader in the women's suffrage movement,
became the first woman in America to run
for president.
On Election Day 1872,Woodhull couldn't
even vote for herself, because it would be
another 48 years before women would
get the right to vote. But as it happened,
Woodhull was in prison on obscenity charges
for publishing a news story about the affair
between Calvinist minister and abolitionist
Henry Ward Beecher and Elizabeth Tilton,
the wife of his mentor, Theodore Tilton, who
subsequently sued Beecher for adultery.
(Beecher's siblings include Harriet Beecher
Stowe, the author of Uncle Tom'sCabin,then
the best-selling book in the world.) Woodhull
published the story because Beecher
preached against "free love" and was also
the first president of the National Women's
Suffrage Association. Woodhull wanted to
expose his hypocrisy. But her news story was
deemed "obscene."
Running on the ticket of the Equal
Rights Party (a suffrage and abolitionist
party) Woodhull was nominated to run
against the incumbent, Ulysses S. Grant, a
Republican, and his Democratic opponent,
Horace Greeley. The Equal Rights Party
(previously the People's Party) had placed
noted abolitionist and freed slave Frederick
Douglass on the ticket with Woodhull.
Woodhull has been described in various
biographies as an iconoclast. She was
34 when she ran for president. She and
her youngest sister, Tennessee (they
were two of 10 children), were the first
women stockbrokers and founded the first
brokerage firm run by women, as well as the
first newspaper run by women, Woodhull &
Claflin's Weekly, in 1870. Woodhull's parents
were illiterate and she had only a few years'
schooling, but she was a prolific writer of
news and essays, and the newspaper was
devoted to political issues she was fervent
about, including feminism.
Our first woman presidential candidate
also advocated for "free love"-that is,
VIEWS/POLI
marriage and divorce on a woman's terms.
She fought for contraception and abortion
rights-the same issues that presidential
candidate Hillary Clinton fights for today.
Unsurprisingly,Woodhull did not fare well
at the polls, receiving not a single Electoral
College vote. No woman has gotten close
to the presidency until now, nearly 150 years
later. In 1984, Geraldine Ferraro was the first
major-party vice-presidential candidate,
running with Walter Mondale. They only won
a single state: Minnesota. In 2008, Alaska
Gov. Sarah Palin ran for vice president with
Sen. John McCain. They were far more
successful, winning 22 states.
The 2016 election raises the question
of whether a woman president could
end the war on women in America. The
current presidential race has underscored
the intensity of the sexism and gender
apartheid still rampant in America, while the
coverage of the race has resurrected every
sexist trope imaginable about a woman's
ability to lead.
And yet, there's no candidate in the
race better equipped to be president than
Hillary Clinton. Nor is there any candidate
who has addressed women's issues,either
in the campaign itself or in their career, like
Clinton has. From her days as Arkansas'
First Lady to her days as Secretary of State,
Clinton has been a tireless advocate for
women's rights, both at home and globally.
Her speech "Women's Rights Are Human
Rights"-at the 1995 United Nations Fourth
World Conference on Women in Beijingwas iconic. Vital, too, in her advocacy
for gender equality was Clinton's role in
creating the Justice Department's Office on
Violence Against Women. Clinton has also
made violence against women a major part
of the Clinton Foundation's Global Issues
campaigns, and has focused on the sex
trafficking of girls and women since her time
in the Senate.
Yet,like Woodhull before her-albeit nearly
150 yearsapart - Clinton has been dismissed
for her support of women's issues,as though
they are not mainstream or important. Yet
women are more than half the country.
Shouldn't our issues predominate?
On the GOP side, they do. But not in
a good way, as evidenced by the tack
the frontrunners in the presidential race
have taken on women's rights-especially
reproductive rights-and on the issues of
equal pay, sexual and domestic violence,
immigration, and LGBT rights. It has long
been true that women's rights battles and
those of LGBT persons have intersected.
In early January,the National LGBTQTask
Force filed an amicus brief in the case of
Whole Womens Health v. Cole, asking the
U.S. Supreme Court (SCOTUS) to "strike
down draconian restrictions on abortion
providers enacted by the State of Texas
in 2013." If these restrictions are upheld in
Texas,it would lead to the closing of all but
10 abortion clinics in the state. The brief
urges the court to carefully scrutinize the
state's rationale for the law, just as SCOTUS
THAT WE ARESTILL
FIGHTINGFOR BODILY
AUTONOMY NEARLYA
CENTURYANO A HALF
LATERSHOULD BE
SHOCKING- YET ISN'T
''
has done with other laws that infringe upon
fundamental freedoms.
"The movements for reproductive health,
rights, and justice are indispensable for
LGBTQ people. Our work, as repro and
LGBTQadvocates, is inseparable, as we are
working for the right to live our lives fully
and the right to choose how we use our
bodies," said Rea Carey, executive director
of the National LGBTQTask Force. 'A ruling
that favors discrimination under the guise
of 'women's health' would negatively impact
LGBTQpeople."
It's hard not to get angry with celebrities
who make statements like "I don't vote
with my vagina"-especially when every
GOP candidate for president, from the
frontrunners to the also-rans, have put
restricting reproductive rights on their
agenda. Also on their extremist agenda is
overturning the SCOTUS ruling on marriage
equality. What's more, the First Amendment
Defense Act (FADA)has been incorporated
into the Republican platform. That legislation
would allow people like the now-notorious
Kentucky clerk Kim Davis to violate the
law in adherence to their own political or
religious beliefs.
Woodhull and her sister had to publish
their own newspaper in order to get their
messages out. But in 2016, the news media
is just as restrictive about who gives voice
to issues directly related to women as it was
in 1872. A January report found that men
dominate the news coverage of women's
reproductive issues.
"When it comes to stories about abortion
and contraception, women's voices are
systematically stifled-as writers and as
sources," says Julie Burton, president of the
Women's Media Center. Burton notes, "In
articles about elections and reproductive
issues, men's voices prevail, especially
in coverage of presidential campaigns,
with male reporters telling 67 percent of
all presidential election stories related to
abortion and contraception."
Gloria Steinem, co-founder of the
Women's Media Center, notes, "Sincewomen
play a greater role in reproduction, it would
make sense for women to be the majority of
the sources and authorities in its coverage."
WMC research shows that female
journalists wrote just 37 percent of articles
about reproductive issues while their male
counterparts wrote 52 percent. Another 11
percent did not have bylines. Quotes from
men account for 41 percent of all quotes
in articles about reproductive issues, while
quotes from women account for just 33
percent.
Meanwhile, it's men who continue to
make the decisions about our vaginas and
uteruses,and it's imperative that we consider
this when we vote. EveryGOP candidate has
decried the alleged Planned Parenthood
videos-yet on Jan. 25, Texas Gov. Greg
Abbott released a statement on the monthslong investigation. Planned Parenthood was
cleared by the grand jury, but several antiabortion activists will be charged.
Attempts to restrict women's reproductive
rights continue. In late January, the U.S.
Supreme Court refused to allow a proposed
law in North Dakota that would have made
abortions illegal if a woman was more than
six weeks pregnant.
That so little has changed between
Woodhull, our first female presidential
candidate, and our current female candidate
speaksto how ingrained sexism is in America.
That we are still fighting for bodily autonomy
nearly a century and a half later should be
shocking-yet isn't.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
17
st
PROFILE
Henrietta Plihalova
>>Prague
Musicand Dance
She was born in Communist Czechoslovakia, when
political opposition was suppressed and freedom of
expression was routinely stifled. Poets had a hard time
walking down the street, never mind lesbians having a
safe space. Even though Henrietta Plihalova knew as early
as age 12 that she was attracted to other females, it was a
subject that was simply never discussed. Ever.
Fast-forward a few decades, and Plihalova'scountry has
undergone a night-and-day transformation. In what is now
the Czech Republic, the Communists have been defeated
(in a nonviolent transition of power called the Velvet
Revolution), a poet has become the first democratically
elected president in 41 years, and Plihalova, known far and
wide as DJ Henrietta, is now the organizer for the hottest
lesbian parties in Prague. This talented pro, who works the
turntables as easily as the microphones and mixers, says
she started organizing monthly lesbian dance parties a
few years ago.
"I had an aneurysm, and that's when the idea of lesbian
parties came to me," she says. "Right there on the table!"
Back then, Prague had one bar geared toward gay
women, but without enough sustained business, the venue closed. Plihalova says she just felt the need to create
some sort of a musical venue where the community could
feel safe. And so the DJstarted Freedom Night, a once-amonth dance extravaganza where lesbians from all over
the area come to meet and mingle in Prague (djhenriette.
cz). The parties, held on the third Friday of every month,
are themed, and the music rarely dies down before 5 a.m.
"I never knew it could get this big;' she says. "I really
was trying to make a party for some friends:'
Lest her laid-back personality fool you, Plihalova is
constantly on the move. She is a co-founder of Queer Eye,
an annual festival of music, art, exhibits, and workshops
that is open to people of all ages and backgrounds and
stresses alternative approaches to life. She's also the
PRbackbone for Cinema Q, a bimonthly showcase of
gay films. She does all this while running a brand-new
swanky restaurant right along the Vltava River in Prague.
Meantime, she soon hopes to get pregnant.
"I can do most things from my computer at home," she
says. "I'm not sure how I'll manage it, but I know I will:'
CURVE
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
By Sheryl Kay
18
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
MAR/APR
2016
ANDREA
CONSTAND,
ANOUT
LESBIAN
AND
former athlete who is now a massage therapist l1v1ngin
Toronto, Canada, filed a suit against B1IICosby in 2005,
claiming that he had drugged and raped her In 2004. That
case was not prosecuted. An arrest warrant was issued in
December and Cosby faces a first-degree felony charge for
allegedly drugging and raping Constand. If convicted, Cosby
could receive a five- to 10-year prison sentence.
•ANEW YORKCOUPLE
• AFTER
30 YEARS
claims In a lawsuit filed In
Brooklyn Supreme Court
that they were denied a
hotel room at Brooklyn's
Sleep Inn because they are
lesbians Loren Par1sella and
Elizabeth Prestano claim
that the hotel staff looked
at them with "repugnance
and disgust" when they
arrived at the hotel, then
lied about being fully
booked In order to keep
them from gettI ng a room
They left and then called
the hotel without 1dent1fy1ng
themselves and were told
that there were vacancies
together, Stacey Schuett
and Lesly Taboada-Hall
were married on June 19,
2013, as Taboada-Hall was
dying of uterine cancer She
passed away the next day
On June 26, 2013, the US
Su pre me Court struck down
the Defense of Marriage
Act, legal1z1ng samesex marriages across the
country
Schuett had stayed
home to raise the couple's
children while TaboadaHall had worked for FedEx
for 26 years, ent1tl1ng her
to a pension But because
Taboada-Hall died before
the Supreme Court ruling,
FedEx Is arguing that she
was legally unmarried at
the time of her death and
had no survIvIng spouse
entitled to her pension
The case has now gone to
court, with a federal d1str1ct
court ruling against FedEx's
motion to d1sm1ss the case
• AIRFORCE
MAJOR
Adrianna Vorderbruggen,
who was one of the first
openly gay service members
to publicly marry, was
among six American troops
killed by a su1c1de bomber
outside Bagram A1rf1eld In
Afghanistan
She Is survived
by her wife, Heather, and a
son, Jacob
By Sassafras
Lowrey
VIEWS/
LIPSTICK+DI
PS
Dear Beloved
Readers,
11 years. That's how long we've been doling out
advice here on the pages of Curve. Can you believe it?
From Lost Lover in Laramie to Closeted in Cleveland,
we've put pen to page as the bantering butch and
femme for over a decade-hoping to help guide and
also entertain you.
Today, we write from a different perspective
because we've recently made a difficult decision: one
we've been grappling with for a year. The time has
come for us to pack up our Lipstick & Dipstick advice
booth and move on to our next adventure.
Looking back, what an incredible journey it's been.
We have loved being a part of the Curve family with
all our lezzy beings.
With Curve, we've had a bounty of opportunities
and met so many wonderful people-both
those
connected with the magazine and, of course, you: our
beloved readers, who we will forever cherish.
We didn't do this alone-not by a long shot. There
are a number of key people who helped breathe life
into Lipstick & Dipstick, and who helped keep it alive.
Editorially, those include: Curve's lesbian-in-chief,
Merryn Johns, a wickedly smart force who has been
with us in the trenches and put up with us for years.
We thank you, Merryn. You've done a fantastic job with
the magazine and have been a shining ambassador for
us all! We also give enormous thanks to the one and
only Diane Anderson-Minshall, the amazing executive
editor at Curve from 2004 to 2010. After we conceived
our little androgynous baby, Diane invited us onto the
pages of the magazine and into the Curve family. Thank
you, Diane! You mentored us and taught us so much.
Beyond those two, we bow in gratitude to Curve's
founder, Frances Stevens, who we call "Daddy." We
also send endless thanks to our photographer, Maggie
Parker,and all the Curvettes who touched our lives over
the years.
Looking back, there are many milestones in our
rearview mirror: We wrote a book; we were on radio
and television talk shows and in dozens of podcasts;
we shot our own TV pilot (originally called Dyke Disaster
Zone) and spoke at countless events. Most significantly,
however, we answered hundreds of questions in the
pages of Curve, offering advice and encouragement
(and hopefully some laughs) to our community of
lesbian, bisexual, and questioning women (and a
few men). Over the years, we've made many friends,
and perhaps a few enemies, but, through it all, it's sure
been a rewarding ride. We hope you've enjoyed it, too.
Dear readers, we thank you from the bottom of
our butch and femme hearts-for reading, for asking
challenging questions, for engaging, for voting us your
favorite column, and for keeping us going all these
years. You are the reason it's so difficult to say goodbye.
Yours Truly Forever,
P.S. Please behave, take care, and keep in touch!
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
19
Looking Back,
Looking Ahead
Lipstick: Yes! I'll never forget celebrating in
our dressing rooms at Nike.
Dipstick: For me, some of the shiniest
memories were on the East Coast leg of our
book tour. You, me, and the road.
In which our beloved advice duo has the final word.
BY LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Lipstick: In our little roller skate rental car.
Dipstick: We read at my hometown
bookstore in front of my entire family and my
Dear Lipstick & Dipstick:
Before you go, leave us with a little something-if not a mix tape,
or a kiss on the mirror, how about your best memories as Curve's
very own Lip and Dip? - Team Curve
high school gym teacher! I also loved being
in NYC at the infamous-and now closed
- Oscar Wilde Bookstore in Greenwich
Village, and going to the Catskills, where, in
Woodstock, Lipstick took off her top and lit a
fake roach in its honor.
Dipstick: For me, some of my favorite
Dipstick: He was such a great sport!
Lipstick: I loved every minute of that trip,
highlights include emceeing San Francisco
Pride in 2008, shooting a TV show, speaking
Lipstick: It was a blast, and we never
Dip, especially the look on your face in
Northampton when you finally got to meet
on college and corporate campuses, and
being recognized in the strangest places-
could have pulled it off without
Suzanne Westenhoefer, who just
your lifelong crush, Rachel Maddow.
most memorably by a flight attendant on a
flight back from a speaking engagement.
happened to be in town the week
Dipstick: How many times do I have to tell
you, I just admire her journalistic brilliance!
Lipstick: If I had to pick one, my favorite
before our event. She was kind
enough to meet with us, help with our
shtick, and school us on delivering a
Lipstick: For this femme, the best part of our
memory was on National Coming Out
Day 2007. We hosted a big event at Nike
great joke.
book tour was the moment my love walked
into the room like a bolt of lightning on one
World Headquarters. We had the entire
Tiger Woods Center (a fancy venue on their
Dipstick: Suzanne was amazing I To
top it off, wasn't that the day our first
snowy, unexpected, electrifying night.
campus), where we got to put on a talk-style
comedy show and interview (and poke fun
shipment of books arrived from the
publisher? Lipstick & Dipstick's Essential
Dipstick: I can attest that the heat coming
off the two of you was enough to melt all the
at) Nike'sCEO, Mark Parker.
Guide to Lesbian Relationships.
snow off Whistler Mountain that evening.
20
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
VIEWS/
LIPSTICK+DI
PS
So happy you found your soul mate, Lip.
Lipstick: That was so fun, even though we
When we emceed San Francisco Pride,
totally ended up on the cutting room floor.
help lesbians thrive and manifest the life
remember who we got to introduce and
They were like, "Now, who are Lipstick and
they want and deserve.
hang out with backstage? Margaret Cho,
Dipstick?" Ha.
Gus Van Sant, Peter Paige, and Gavin
else. At that point, I felt a responsibility to
Dipstick: Here Lipstick goes with her New
Newsom, the mayor who defied federal
Dipstick: lndeedl But who cares, because
Age speak again I
law in 2004 and allowed same-sex
I got to meet Ilene Chaiken and the cast of
couples to marry.
The L Word that same trip to Palm Springs.
Lipstick: Zip it, Dip. You put on a tough
Lipstick: He is such a badassl Remember
Lipstick: You're a stud, Dipl What will you
started to really care for the women who
Fonz exterior, but you know it's true. We
when the headliner, Charo, didn't show?
Dipstick: How could I forget?
miss the most? For me, it's the readers and
wrote in-they sincerely needed advice,
the relationships. We'll miss working with
and we did our best to help as many as we
you, Team Curve! And I guess I'll miss the
could.
old butch.
Dipstick: OK, it's true. For years, aside from
Lipstick: Beloved readers, you will never
Dipstick: I'll miss the old femme, too.
what was published in Curve, we answered
people who came to see Charo, but got
Lipstick: D'awww-even though I fished for
thousands, believe it or not.
you instead. "Go entertain them for 10
it. One thing I won't miss about Dipstick is
minutes," we were told. This is when we
how she changes a flat tire.
understand the word "pressure" until
you're standing in front of 200,000
every single letter we got, which was in the
learned a very important lesson in public
Lipstick: It was quite an undertaking, but
so rewarding-especially
when we were
speaking: Have waaaaay more material
Dipstick: And I won't miss having to stop at
able to engage with the women behind
than you'll need. I think I told a dirty joke.
the outlet malls on the road.
some tragic letters. Part of why Dipstick
Lipstick: [cheeky smile] Nothing will ever
we are so authentically different-not
compare to those early years. Right, Dip?
on the outside, but also in how we think,
to go on all those lesbian cruises with
Dipstick: They were the best. We were
and how we came out. It couldn't have
been a better juxtaposition.
Something about a winklebeener.
Dipstick: Thinking back, some of my best
and I worked so well together is because
memories were on the open sea, getting
just
how we were raised, even our gay journeys
Sweet and Olivia. Nothing beats being
so embraced by the Curve family. So
trapped on a boat with 1,200 lesbians.
many times, we were invited down to San
Francisco events, traveled to gay prides with
Dipstick: And, we weren't each other's
Lipstick: Unless you're quarantined in
Curve, and formed enduring friendships
type, so that was a bonus. Contrary to
your stateroom, or sail into a hurricane.
with the amazing women who came and
urban dyke legend, Lipstick and I have
went at the magazine.
never been more than just friends.
Dipstick: Lip, I know you're not a huge fan
of cruising, but this butch loves it. While
Lipstick: I'll miss the laughter, too. It was
Lipstick: So, what's next for us? I'm going
you were seasick in your cabin, I was
endless, especially when wed do a photo
to finish my next novel-just wrapping
learning to boot-scoot across the deck,
shoot with Maggie, our stellar photographer.
and launching cannonballs in the pool
with two hot Canadians.
Lipstick: Didn't you bring your twin sister
keep working
Dipstick: They'd go on for hours, but Mags
screenplay. Currently, I'm on draft three. It
had great creative endurance and one
will be a film one day, but no wine until its
helluva sense of humor.
time. Beyond that, I'll continue twisting the
on that trip? Two Dipsticks. One boat. Oy
veyl The girls went crazy.
up the first draft now-and
on adapting my first one, Jukebox, into a
various creative irons I've got in the fire,
Lipstick: We couldn't have done our
which are always aplenty.
column without her!
Dipstick: Yup, Mary and I calmed a
nervous Kate McKinnon, who thought
Dipstick: I'm going to continue writing
Dipstick: And we learned so much.
the boat was going to sink in those big
Hurricane Rita waves.
for About.com and try to take advantage
of other opportunities that present
Lipstick: So much. Looking back, as
themselves, while I seek out new
Lipstick, I was much snarkier in the early
adventures with an
Lipstick: So cool to get to hang out
years. In the beginning, it was about
internet start-up.
with Kate again before she broke out on
entertainment and getting a laugh.
Saturday Night Live. Look at her now!
Somewhere along the way, I realized that
Dipstick: Remember when we first met
but a true extension of myself. This-
with us! Lipstick at
her at Dinah Shore in 2008? She was
coupled with a few heartbreaking emails
ginadaggett.com
Julie Goldman's sidekick when we were
we received-is when the whole "advice
and Dipstick at
interviewed for the "Celesbians" interviews.
columnist" thing morphed into something
kathybelge.com
Lipstick was not just a character Id created,
Please keep in touch
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
21
At the Curve booth, San Francisco Pride
Lip
~Dip
With Rachel Maddow at Northampton Pride
Candid snaps of gay times!
PHOTOS BY MAGGIE PARKER
Lip and Dip with Curve founder Franco Stevens
Lip and Dip's first photo shoot with Maggie Parker
22
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
Lip and Dip's Portland book launch
Dip and Lip on Q Live at NBC Studios, Portland
At NIKE headquarters
With Kate McKinnon on the Sweet cruise
Essentially Human
Melissa Etheridge on dreaming in red, her true love, and her new perspective.
BY TIFFANY CERIDWEN LOWANA
T
he first time I saw Melissa Etheridge on stage, she was
loved by everyone around her. Describing a childhood where both
lying down gyrating against her guitar, holding it like a
parents were problem drinkers, she remembers her home as "emo-
lover. Women teetered on shrill. Someone passed out.
tionless." Pointedly, she later says it is human emotion that drives her
My very straight sister looked at the throng of seething
dykes, then back at Melissa, and turned to me. "OK,"she said, "I get it."
music. Her friend Rosie O'Donnell enunciated in an interview a couple
of years ago, "Fame is the impending, glittering disaster."
Some 15 years later, that same unmistakable voice snakes its way
In 2004, when Melissa Etheridge was diagnosed with cancer,
down my phone line. But lately, a lot has changed for this rock deity:
what she really wanted was to get healthy and to be around for her
New album, new management, new wife. At 54, Etheridge has come
loved ones. She considered music a pure celebration. Cancer was
her self-titled debut album at 27 to her latest, This Is
an unexpected, upending "gift." She was now holding mirrors up to
ME. Her 12th studio release, This Is M.E. is her first collaborative al-
everything. She stopped eating meat. She publically declared what
full circle-from
bum and her first independent one. The collaborative effort does not
the World Health Organization had said in October last year, that pro-
change her songwriting-Etheridge
cessed meat is a carcinogen and it is highly probable that red meat
says it was the very thing that
pushed her creativity like nothing before. This Is M.E. signs off with
her wedding vows to Linda Wallem, the I'll-defy-you-not-to-be-moved
is a carcinogen.
In the mire that is chemotherapy, battered about by the treatments,
Etheridge lost her hair. Still bald, she did something that is trademark
"Who Are You Waiting For."
Sensuality saturates her body of work. Her lyrics speak to the thirst
Etheridge-at
the 47th Annual Grammy Awards, she strode out on
for sexual love in us all-"Don't you want to get that high? Don't you
stage and shared her searing version of "Piece of My Heart" by Janis
want to be satisfied?" And when that love splinters-"Does she know
Joplin. Who else could possibly pull this off? At one point in her gut-
just how to shock you? Electrify and roccckkk you?" You can almost
felt ode to Joplin, her vocal chords seem like an elastic artery, on the
hear incisors bared, claws unsheathed. In 1988, when Etheridge lit up
precipice of tearing. More than once, Etheridge has said that music
our collective consciousness, she wanted to be famous and to be
is like breathing. And she sings as though her very life depends on it.
24
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
I
What's your greatest memory from making your new album?
lin's "Whole Lotta Love." When I heard that sound, and when I heard
Oh, I just had the greatest time 'cause it was my first independent
the way he sang ... it kinda messed me up. I was 9, maybe 10.
album, so it was kind of a learning curve. I couldn't really blame the
record company for anything - I am the record companyl I learned
So how many breakups have inspiredyour songs?
more about budget, I learned more about... just how you do things,
(Laughs) Ha ha ha! All of them! Every single one. I would say thatthe
so that was fun. And the experience of working with Jerry Wonda was
songs that people know came from a certain time in my life - I bet I
one of my favorites. He was so great to me in the studio, such a great
could safely say that there's about (pause) five different relationships
musician, so much so that I asked him to join my band. Now he and a
that I've pretty much written everything about. (Laughs) Maybe sixl
couple of his musicians are my backing band.
What is your ultimate place to perform?
If today was your last 24 hours,what music would you listen to?
It's not so much geographical. It's about the people. People in different
(Laughs) Id probably listen to my own I It would be like listening to my
places have been amazing. I mean, I've had astounding shows in Syd-
life again, and I would probably say, "Hey, you know what? I did OK. I
ney. I've had amazing shows in Amsterdam, Montreal, New York City,
lived an interesting life."
Chicago. It's the audience.
What is it about Lindathat makes her the true love of your life?
Any advice you would give to your 27-year-oldself?
Awww! You know what? What makes her the true love of my life is that
Id say (in a nurturing voice), "Don't worry so much. It's gonna be OK.
she made me see that the true love of my life is myself. It was through
It's all gonna happen. Just take your time. Enjoy everything."
Linda that I learned how to love myself and be good to myself and be
healthy - to have a healthy relationship with myself. It was through
that that I could have a healthy relationship with Linda.
Do you dream in color?
Hmm. .. Do I dream in color? Wow... hmm ... I have memories where I
go - particularly - that was red. Yeah, I have memories of red.
When you sang your vows, was there a dry eye in the house?
Oh no, there wasn't, including minel That .. that was really special. She
I read that you completed your first album in just four days?
is really something.
Yeah, yeah, that was from necessity. The record company's president
When you started out, you said you just wanted to be famous. After cancer, you said everything was put into sharp perspective...
this." But that was necessity. I enjoy a little bit more time than that, but
Huh. Yeah. Because it changed my life, my outlook on life, everything
anything, cause I don't think that's good.
hated the record, so I went "OK, I have four days - I think I can do
I think about it. It changed my writing-it
I don't think it should take too long. I've never labored too hard over
just had to.
How did you feel when you got your "skin"tattoo?
Does the connection between cancer and meat surpriseyou?
Oh, I loved thatl That was my favorite tattoo, even though I can't see
Oh gosh, that's so clear to me now that I can't understand how any-
it and nobody can see it - it's at the back of my neck and it's in white,
one could think it wasn't. I'm very happy to hear that. . doctors are ac-
so it's kinda wasted as a tattool But the experience. I mean, it didn't
tually saying that now. I'm very happy about that.
take very long - it was like 10 minutes, maybe. But right back there
at the back of your neck there's a lot of nerve endings ... That was my
A thought you commonly have just before you go on stage?
favorite. I loved that experience. But no plans for more. I'm not like,
Before I go on stage, there's a routine, and it's very comforting. One of
"Mmm, morel"
the things I think before I go on stage is that this is one of my favorite moments - that moment before I go on. You know, the audience
Which musicianmakes you want to pick up your guitar?
knows that I'm about to come out and they're excited. I played too
Oh yeah. Oh gosh. It's pretty much anytime I hear music! I did a binge
many years in the bars, saying, "Hello, is this thing onr You know? I'm
listening of Jimi Hendrix the other day, and it was like, "Godl Give me
always, always looking forward to that moment.
my guitar!" I wanna find out how he gets those sounds. So, any kind of
guitar player makes me think like that.
Do you play favorites with your songsand lyrics?
(Laughs) Ha ha, do I play favorites with my songs and lyrics? Yeahl I
What'sthe most important ingredient in making it?
really believe that there's nothing wrong with having hit songs, and I
I would say drive, if that drive is just an understanding that this is a
will play the songs that people want to hear all day long. Every night,
journey. You never really get there. You just have to want to keep going
I'm playing "Bring Me Some Water" - you bet! And also "Like the Way
along the path. Otherwise, it's going to be really hard if you don't know
I Do." Cause everybody relates to it. It's the party and I love being the
that it just never stops.
party, you know?
What'sthe quirkiestthing about you?
And are those your favorites?
Ha hal That I'm not so quirky.
No, usually the newer ones are my favorites, just because they're the
newest songs!
And if you had to say what the main force behind your music is?
Humanness.
What was the first song that shookyou to your very core?
Ohhhhhh, like, really got to me? Umm ... Probably hearing Led Zeppe-
(melissaetheridge.com)
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
25
Sex&! Dating Advice
to _KeepYou Covered
A lesbian author helps queer girls to hatch.
BY YANA TALLON-HICKS
Aska.
~UeerChick
AGu.1de
• to·Sex L
' ove,and L
forGirls - ife
Whobig Girls
lindsa"I(· •
•
,_ ing-Miller
L
indsay King-Miller
came out to
her family in a moving vehicle
and doesn't recommend
it. The
28-year-old
author,
who came
out to her dad and her brother on their way
to a family gathering after she had graduated
from college, recounts her version of the
quintessential
queer experience in chapter 1
of her new book, Ask a Queer Chick: A Guide
to Sex, Love, and Life for Girls Who Dig Girls.
Though that particular
conversation
ended
well, with a casual "That's cool ... You got
your grandmother
a Christmas card, right?"
from her dad, King-Miller spins many more
of her own experiences
as a girl-who-digsgirls into teachable
moments for the next
generation. Based on her advice column in The
26
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
Hairpin, King-Miller's
relatable book covers
everything
from managing your straight-girl
crush ("Stop keeping your Saturday nights
free of plans in case she calls") to the real
realities of sex via scissoring ("To someone
who's tried scissoring without much success,
it sounds almost like a douchey
straightdude joke: 'What can two girls do, rub their
vaginas together?
Ha-ha! Up topl Hand me
another
Budweiser,
Chad!"').
Casual and
lighthearted
where it counts, but sincere and
straightforward
where it matters, Ask a Queer
Chick shines when it comes to dating advice
for those queer chicks just newly hatched.
Recently, Curve asked King-Miller
for her
opinion on the babyqueer basics every chick
should know before flying the coop.
REVIEWS/BO
What's your first piece of advice for
queer chicks looking to get down with
a woman for the first time ever?
Go where the queer people are. The
more that you're around them, the
more you'll develop a community and
a support system. When you're young
and coming out, you need queer friends
more than you need dates. First, find a
community, which, incidentally, will put
you in a better position to find dates.
community of bisexual activism that's
making it clear that "bi" isn't just a little
bit queer mixed with a little bit gay. It
has its own queer identity. We need to
understand that same-sex relationships
WHEN YOU RE
YOUNG ANO
COMING OUT
YOU NEED
QUEERFRIENDS
MORETHAN YOU
NEEDOATES
1
You stress the importance of talking
during, before, and after sex: What are
your tips for untangling when pussy's
got you tongue-tied?
Ha-ha! Once you start talking, it gets
easier. We first need to break down
the conditioning that we see in movie
sex scenes, where sex happens in
total silence and everyone seems to
instinctively know what the other person
wants. Start with simple questions, like
"Is this OK?" "Do you like this?" "What
do you want to do next?" It's not boring
or a buzzkill or not sexy. We need to
communicate about sex. And it's totally
sexy.
You offer a valuable redefinition of
bisexuality, one that doesn't hinge
on the assumption that there are only
two genders. Can you say more?
Robyn Ochs defines "bisexual" as
having the ability to be attracted to more
than one gender, and not necessarily to
the same degree, or at the same time.
So the definition I use in the book is
hardly unique to me - there's a growing
''
are just as valid for bisexual people as
they are for gay and lesbian people.
Another term you're not super into is
"gold star."
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I think it's so
silly to say that a lesbian who has never
had sex with a man is a better lesbian
than someone who has. Lots of people
take time to figure out their queer
identity, either because they're unsure or
because they've grown up somewhere
where it's unsafe to come out. None of
the reasons why people sleep with men
make them less good at being gay.
"Gold star" carries this implicit
judgment
of bisexuality that says
lesbianism is pure, and if you have sex
with a man you're tainted. "Gold star"
is also trans erasing in the way that it
equates genitals with gender - if you've
ever slept with someone with a penis
you're no longer a gold star lesbian,
which is really horrible to trans lesbians
and trans men.
OK, so: Don't come out in a moving
vehicle. What are some of your other
strategies for coming out?
It's important to plan it, don't just
wing it. It worked out fine for me, but
sometimes it doesn't. Choose a place
where you have some privacy, and the
time to talk about whatever comes up.
What if it doesn't go well? Have a place
to go. Have a self-care strategy. Make
sure to call a friend and let them know
your plan, so they can be available to
come pick you up or offer other support.
Now we know why King-Miller's first
piece of advice in Ask a Queer Chick is
"Thou shalt disclose thy orientation in
a stationary location, with at least one
functioning
exit." And to her young
LGBTQ readers, she's quick to add,
"Welcome to the beginning of your
incredible queer life!"
52 Waysto LoveYourBody
The Little VanillaBook:S&M Wisdomto
By Kimber Simpkins
Improve YourEverydayLife By Lux Alani
This magical little book by a
Alani is no S&M maven but she does
yoga instructor who went from
apply the time she spent in a dungeon
loathing her body to loving it,
to the bedroom. This vanilla crisis
is fun, practical, and effective.
What happens to your body
starts in your head. If you judge
counselor wishes to empower you by
S&M \\'isdom ·to lmpron· Your Ew:rydirl.1fc
l.uxt\lani
finding a balance between TLC and "a
spank in the right direction." If you're
yourself, you're less likely to be
on the milder side of wild you can still
healthy, more likely to overeat
"kink-think" your way to empowerment
and experience depression. Diets
via the self-confidence of a cowgirl, a
aren't a solution. Looking in the
dominatrix, or Xena, Warrior Princess.
mirror and liking what you see is
Curiosity and openness can enhance
a good place to start. Change is
your life's journey and your physical
possible no matter what your size.
place in this world.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
27
T
he busy co-author of Lesbian
Secrets for Men has
come out with her own book
that's all for women: Woman
Sex
on Fire: 9 Elements to Wake Up Your
Erotic Energy, Personal Power, and Sexual
This rich and enlightening
look into mastering your mind and body
is especially timely with the current war
on women's bodies and the ongoing
erasure of lesbian identity. We caught up
with Goddard, who is also a motivational
speaker, teacher and life coach, to probe
her mission a little more.
Intelligence.
28
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
How do you identify, and what is your
connection to the LGBT community?
I identify as queer and as polyamorous,
and I've been a mentor for young LGBTQ
people for decades and an advocate for
sexual plurality for the whole of my career.
Sexual freedom is very important to me.
How is your book relevant to lesbians,
bisexual, and queer women?
Woman On Fire is about all women
stepping into their own power through
focused work on their sexuality. It's about
how sexuality impacts us in our everyday
lives. We all need a sexual homecoming,
no matter what our experiences have
been. This book is about creating that
homecoming. I work with women of all
sexual orientations and backgrounds.
I think that lesbian, bisexual and queer
women are often attracted to work with
me as a teacher and coach because I am
a queer woman and they feel like I will
understand some of what they are going
through sexually and in their relationships.
That is not to say that one's sexuality
mentors need to be the same sexual
orientation, but there are many ways in
REV1Ews1S
which it helps. And I think LBQ women
feel good with me as a visibly out person
and advocate. Transgender women
sometimes show up as well, which I love.
Sexual confidence can be lacking in
young women who are coming out,
and also in older lesbians seeking new
relationships. Any advice?
Young women need education and
to build skills around how to negotiate,
how to advocate for themselves, how to
communicate, how to flirt or let someone
know they are attracted to them, and how
to ask for what they want. It's actually no
different for older women-most of them
need these things too, it just shows up
a little differently. We have to approach
sex as a skill-many skill sets are needed
to have a fully empowered erotic life and
healthy relationships. Most of us never
learn those skills, or even think about
them. It starts with identifying where you
are struggling and what you need help
with, and then seeking out resources to
help you.
idea of "lesbian bed death." We have to be
critical of the ideas that the media takes
and runs with, and seek out the sources of
those ideas, and whether they are credible,
especially when it comes to sexuality. The
issue here is about how a couple-any
couple-can maintain a healthy sexual life
in the midst of busy lives, stress, aging,
health concerns, having children and any
number of other things that get in the
way. Your sexuality will not put itself on
the front burner just because you stand in
front of the stove and hope. You have to
actually put some energy into your sexual
life, just like you would put energy into
anything else you care about.
How does a healthy sex life improve a
woman's personal power?
We know that when we are sexually
fulfilled it does impact our overall health
and wellbeing. We are less stressed, more
relaxed, more in balance, more energized,
more communicative, and able to stay
in a place of homeostasis, which affects
all sorts of internal chemical activities,
systems and organs. Your sexuality does
not have to look a certain way-it just
needs to feel good for you, and everything
else will be positively impacted. I actually
teach several courses on sex and money
because I believe there is such a strong
connection between these two very
important things. As the two biggest
ways we exchange energy, we tend to
run the same patterns around sex as we
do around money. So many of my clients
start to make more money as they work
with me on their sexuality. And I think the
reverse can happen too. Sexuality is at the
core of who we are, so of course it is going
to impact all aspects of our lives.
Some judging happens in the lesbian
community about polyamory, gender
expression, sexual fluidity, etc. How
can we be better about policing others'
sexual identities and behaviors?
I'm saddened by the sexual and gender
policing our community is doing, and it
needs to stop. For that to happen, we have
to care about it enough to learn more
about experiences that are different from
our own and to put ourselves in someone
else's shoes. There is so much judgment
and so many people who need to be right
that we aren't finding common ground on
big issues that do impact us and divide
us as a community. The truth is that we
are many communities with different
agendas. I think we are seeing a big
generational divide right now and we are
back to needing some focus on people
from different generations talking to
each other and really hearing each other.
The only place where I've actually seen
that happen is at the Michigan Womyn's
Music Festival... that was one of the only
spaces where people from very different
points of view were showing up in the
hard conversations with each other. We
tend to stay very separate, in our own little
bubbles of people who agree with us. It's
more courageous to go talk to the people
who have different ideas and beliefs. It's
not easy work. Coalition building and
intergenerational communication can be
challenging.
Lesbian Bed Death-does it exist or is it
a total myth?
Psychotherapist Suzanne lasenza wrote
some great pieces some years back
critiquing the largely media-propelled
Why might queer women need sexual
empowerment the most?
I think there is often this idea that people
in queer communities don't need sexual
empowerment because we deal with sex
and we have it figured out. Some people
do. One thing I mention in Woman on Fire
is that having a lot of sex-even having
a lot of satisfying sex-is not the same
as true sexual empowerment. Sexual
empowerment is vast. I broke it down into
nine elements in Woman on Fire so there
would be many access points for people
to do this work and exploration.
I hope it helps lots of women to
improve their lives and to step into their
personal power authentically. Sexual
empowerment has to be about the whole
person. If you are having great sex but
then you are yelling and screaming and
going into victim mode or physically
fighting with your partner, that's not
empowerment. Sex is really a small part of
it. Sexual empowerment has to be holistic
to stick.
The election lead-up has made a
battleground of women's bodies again.
Can personal sexual empowerment
give women more political control?
Our sexuality and gender have been
used to control, demean and discriminate
against us. I firmly believe that all systems
of violence are related to gender. You
can trace every type of violence back to
gender roles or some form of gendered
violence. Helping women to become
empowered agents of their own sexuality
is critical to women taking back our
rightful power in the world at large.
When a woman learns to be powerful
as a sexual person and to advocate for
herself in powerful ways sexually, she must
summon incredible courage. If she can
stand for herself in a sexual negotiation,
then she can do it with money, with
promotions, at work, in her community
and in politics. The problem is that most
women are not even aware of how they
give away their own power or what that
looks like. We have all been disempowered
as women-it's systemic. Yet each woman
must claim her own power.
No one else can do it for her. If she
needs help understanding how to do that,
then she's got to find the mentors who
can help her. If we all did that, we'd have
a changed world. A world full of women
who are in their full power would be an
unstoppable world, run by women with
women's concerns taking center stage
at last. I hope to see it in my lifetime.
(amyjogoddard.com) •
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
29
of'i~''"'""""
"An assured, breezy romantic comedy ...
,..FLACKS "'""TAYLOR
J
pitch pert ect.,, -San Francisco Chronicle
AMISl
"Flacks proves a sexy and magnetic leading lady
throughout this charming and romantic dramedy." - outtest
Smart, successful, and charming, Elsie is the perfect girlfriend. She also
happens to be a serial monogamist with a long history of broken hearts.
When Elsie breaks up with her long-standing girlfriend Robin to pursue
another woman, she faces her mother's disapproval, conflicting advice from
friends, and the nagging suspicion that she may have made a big mistake.
OFFICIAL
SELECTION)
OUTFEST
1
LOS
ANGELES
LGBT
FILM
FESTIVAL
{
'/ OFFICIAL
SELECTION
FRAMELINE
High Fidelity
for lesbians"
11
- AfterEllen.com
SAN
FRANCISCO
LGBT
FILM
FESTIVAL
~L..........
...:;;.---:---
The storyof one of the world's
most famous and controversial women
eJ
"The Girl King is a traditional epic ... What breaks the
mold is the character of Kristina." - La Presse
The epic story of Queen Kristina, an enigmatic, flamboyant woman
centuries ahead of her time who ascended the Swedish throne at age
six, was raised as a prince, and strived to bring peace and education to
her country- while pursuing an illicit romance with her female royal
attendant. In English.
"The Girl King is beautiful... the chemistry
between the two women is spot on."
-AfterEllen.com
,WINNER)~('
BESTACTRESS
(
MALINBUSKA
MONTREALWORLD
FILM FESTIVAL
?1~~N~~)~
MOSTPOPULAR
CANADIANFILM
MONTREALWORLD
FILM FESTIVAL
11
Featuring laughs, suspense, a deliriously good sex scene,
and a rousing finale, All About E has something for everyone.
11
- San FranciscoChronicle
When E,a beautiful and sexy DJ at Sydney's hottest nightclub,
stumbles on a stash of cash, she and her friend Matt are forced to run to
the outback and appeal to her lost love Trish to hide them. Can E keep
the money, conquer her demons, AND get the girl?
~~
FICIAL SELECTION
IL ameline39
•=~~•"""'·-~
OFFICIAL
SELECTION
~
Lo<;~T:J~~Es
~
=•rn~,:"°';;l.
~
11
A breath of fresh air
for lesbian cinema
11
- Gay News Network
Wolfe·
WolfeVideo.com/WolfeOnDemand.com
Yourtrusted community sourcefor LGBTmovies
an I just say it? We are sick and
tired of lesbian films where our
protagonists end up dead or
wind up returning to the Dark
(heterosexual) Side. Lesbian cinema has
made incredible strides over the past few
years to make sure our voices are heard
and the cliches about us go away. One
of these cliches is that we have no sense
of humor. But we crave laughter! Portrait
of a Serial Monogamist brings us "a good
laugh at ourselves and compassion for
ourselves," says lead actor Diane Flacks,
who portrays Elise Neufeld.
Portrait of a Serial Monogamist writer/
C
directors Christina Zeidler and John
Mitchell created a visual triumph from the
getgo when they made a pact to write
a film together. Zeidler recalls making
observations about the masses who
passed her by each day and can recall
them being "emotionally messed up."
Then, Zeidler and Mitchell made a pinky
swear one night in 2010 and Monogamist
was born. "We are excited to put forward a
lesbian film that no one has done before,"
says Zeidler. "It's a relationship foible and
it's refreshing. It has a great niche for the
queer community."
Portrait of a Serial Monogamist is
set in Toronto against a bustling and
thriving art scene where LGBTQ friendlies
can be found around any corner. It's a
welcoming portrayal of the Canadian
women's community.
Elise is known to hop around from
woman to woman, committing herself to
a relationship before another one ends
and, when it gets too serious, walking
out. Robyn, played by Carolyn Taylor, is
dumped by Elise in the opening scene
after a long-term-U-Hauling-it-together
relationship. Elise leaves the apartment
after cooking an illustrious break-up
dinner for Robyn, only to head to the
MAR/APR
2015
CURVE
31
local lesbian nightclub and drag show to
confront a new conquest.
"It shows the main character in a bad
place in the beginning, who ultimately
redeems herself in the end," says cowriter and director John Mitchell. "She's
not a bad person. She just does bad
things."
"There's a notion that the emotional
immaturity of Elise is charming and
likeable," says Zeidler. Nevertheless, Elise
is confronted by her pal who attempts
to show her strategies to overcome
her longing for attention from the
same sex, which manifests as serial
monogamy-the
constant
series of
dating commitments rather than having
a long-term relationship.
"I think we've all been a victim of serial
monogamy in some sense," says Flacks.
"I was always dumped so I can't really
identify with my character to that extent.
It was something I went through a lot in
my twenties."
When I was in my twenties I had
always thought my bouncing around,
continuously dating women, was the
norm. It was something I had noticed in
32
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
the lesbian community ever since coming
out when I was sixteen. My friends and
their friends constantly date around until
we are all everyone's ex. I had a revelation
when I watched this film. I was finally able
to put a label on what I was doing over a
decade ago. I was a serial monogamist.
And I bet a lot of you out there are as well.
"The title plays a joke on many lesbians,"
says Zeidler. "Some women, like yourself,
don't even realize what's happening."
Since its debut at the Inside Out LGBT
Film Fest in NYC, Portrait of a Serial
Monogamist has gained momentum on
the festival circuit. It has come so far
as to have Wolfe Distributions follow its
production all the way from its lndieGoGo
campaign to the festival circuit. Now, they
have offered the film-makers distribution
on DVD.
"Wolfe
followed
our
lndieGoGo
campaign from the very beginning," says
Mitchell. "They reached out to us, directly,
about distributing with them."
"This is fantastic," says Flacks. "It's like
a dream come true. I am so happy to
have Wolfe on our side. I'm thrilled when
something catches fire."
While this film is full of "chuckle out
loud" moments, it has a sincere essence
as well. While Elise sure has her shit to
work on throughout the film, we have
glimpses of her relationship with Robin
and pray like hell it all works out in the end.
Add the overbearing Jewish mother, the
quirky cat-loving ex, the best friend who
also happens to be an ex, and the buddy
that just wants to help Elise get over her
serial monogamy habit, and you have a
recipe for a seriously witty rom-com that
will turn that frown upside-down.
"It's a 'coming of middle-age' story,"
says Mitchell. "A lot of people don't
establish happiness until later on in life."
Flacks adds, "I'd like to think we have a
film that resembles the feel of a Woody
Allen picture," she says, before revealing
that, "the kissing scenes were my favorite
to do!"
If you get the opportunity
to
see Portrait of a Serial Monogamist on
the festival circuit, I wouldn't pass up
the opportunity to see it on the big
screen. But it's also available for purchase
through Wolfe, making a perfect night in.
(wolfevideo.com) •
REVIEWS/
Fl
HOT
FLICKS
))BYMALLORIEDERIGGI
HerStory.3tj cf,2y•rocJc,·~I~/
1
Due in large part to advocacy, we now see more
significant transgender characters and stories onscreen.
As this occurs, the biggest challenge is not to be overly
stereotyped or pigeonholed into a specific subset of
characters or storylines. That is the challenge that cocreators Jen Richards and Laura Zak embrace with their
new series, Her Story. The hour long, six-episode series
focuses specifically on the lives of LBTQ women and how
they intersect. Besides being the writers and creators of
the series, they also are the lead actors. Jen Richards is
one of the nation's leading transgender activists and has
been featured recently on El's/ am Cait, while Laura has
been the star of Tello Film's hit web series #Hashtag. Her
Story also features trans entrepreneur and actor Angelica
Ross and has brought on award-winning filmmaker
Sydney Freeland (Drunktown's Finest).
Jen and Laura first met in Chicago on the set for
#Hashtag, where Jen had been asked to play a minor
role on the show. Jen, who had limited exposure within
the lesbian community up tot that point, found herself
welcomed and developed new friendships that became
the genesis for Her Story. (It didn't hurt that Jen had a
little crush on Laura when they first met.) Much of Jen and
Laura'sfocus for this series was to develop trans characters
that have depth and relatable experiences. The title of Her
Story is based on the question that Jen often asked when
she saw these characters on TV: "What's her story?" Jen
and Laura wanted to introduce queer women characters
who exhibited humanity and reflected the binding ways in
which identity, sexuality and love intersect.
A storyline that has not received much attention
is that of the lesbian or queer-oriented trans woman.
Many assume that transgender women are straight.
This assumption is rooted in a lack of understanding of
what transgender is: gender, not sexuality. There are a lot
of transgender lesbians out there whose stories are yet
to be told: trans women in relationships with cisgender
women, as well as with other trans women. Her Story
has two storylines: one between a trans woman and a
cis woman (Jen and Laura respectively), another on a
straight relationship between a trans woman and a cis
man (Angelica and her co-star Christian Ochoa). Her Story
has received positive reviews and garnered the support
of Jill Soloway, award-winning creator of Transparent, as
well as award-winning actor Eddie Redmayne (The Danish
Girl). Her Story is one of a new wave of stories to be told
about LBTQ women, and one which mirrors the progress
and cognition of their everyday lives. (herstoryshow.com)
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
33
■
~ th&C/JJMl01;
~-
01leetv
GooiJJJueru
r(~
OREGON-BASED
WILDFANG
IS A SELF-DESCRIBED
FEMALE "BAND
OF THIEVES,"
RAIDING
MEN'S
CLOSETS FOR IDEAS AND TAKING THE BEST-FROM
CARDIGANS TO BLAZERS, BOWLERS TO BOWTIES-AND
DISPENSING THEM AMONG
TOMBOYS. THIS SPRING, THEY'VE GONE
STYLE-CONSCIOUS
FOR THE
COMFY AND COZY LOOK, WITH PLAID BLAZERS AND OVERALLS DESIGNED EXCLUSIVELY FOR WILDFANG BY
CAPULET. AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE CLASSIC, INDISPENSIBLE TOMBOY TEE AND CREW. FEEL AT HOME
IN YOUR BODY WITH WILDFANG'S TAILORED BUT UTILITARIAN SILHOUETTES, OR SNUGGLY SWEATS THAT
ARE ALSO FIT FOR THE STREETS. (WILDFANG.COM)
34
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
FEATURES/
STYLE
Full of
Guts Tee
$40
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
15
The TMBY
Crew $70
oRIGINAl.
NORTH
WES"T
The O.G.
North West
Crew $70
36
CUR
E
MAR/APR
2016
FEATURES/
MAR/APR
2016
STYLE
CURVE
7
■
CJJJw1wj
tJruP1f
~ ~~ ~
PHOTOS BY MICHELLE DAVIDSON SHAPIRO
MAKEUP BY MATHIEU VETERE
Butch, femme, genderqueer, trans-no matter how you identify, one thing is for sure: Buying underwear doesn't
always make you feel good or confident. And before you even examine the nature of the undies themselves, just
look at the way they're marketed: By impossibly tiny, feminine, usually white, straight-looking women.
Jeanna Kadlec, who describes herself as "a lingerie-obsessed, lesbian, feminist graduate student," had come
to assume that feminism and fashion-especially lingerie-were incompatible. Her friends agreed. They all felt
discomfort in stores and dissatisfaction with what was on offer from an industry that seemed to prey on women's
insecurities. In her research into what was already out there, Kadlec found that while genderqueer undies were
actually being designed and produced, there weren't many stores-online or shopfront-aimed at queer customers. She decided to create a safe space for those who felt excluded.
Founded last summer by Kadlec, who is based out of Massachusetts, Bluestockings Boutique is an alterna-
38
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
FEATURES/
ST
tive, ecofriendly lingerie and underthings website
aimed at the LGBTQIA+ community. Bluestockings' tagline is "Underthings for Everyone"-and it's
true! You can buy everything from boy briefs and
boxers to soft, lacy bras and cheeky knickers, and
in a wider range of sizes and styles.
Originally pursuing a doctorate in English Literature at Brandeis University, Kadlec left after four
years to pursue Bluestockings and other opportunities. She felt as strongly about producing original
and authentic imagery for her website as she did
about finding designers whose garments fit queer
and trans bodies and suited women of color. As
she organized a photo shoot that would embody
the intersectionality she was trying to serve, she
was guided by one principle: "Representation is
not an idea, it's a practice."
"When you don't see yourself represented, it's
harder to 'read' yourself into the picture," says
Kadlec. "I meet a lot of people who are ecstatic
about Bluestockings. I also meet a lot of people
who say, 'That's nice, but I don't care.' When you
look at the wide swaths of lingerie imagery pro-
■
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
duced to date, this response is completely unsurprising. It almost exclusively features straight,
cisgendered women. Why would people care?"
Kadlec's photo shoot makes the viewer sit up
and take notice: Here are people who aren't used
to feeling seen, and who the mainstream consistently refuses to acknowledge. The six Bluestockings models all volunteered for the shoot out of a
desire to see people like themselves represented,
and all of them identify as one or more of the letters in LGBTQIA.
"Our customers have been incredibly supportive of our mission, especially as they see us put
our money where our mouth is with a commitment to expanding our selection (e.g. plus sizes)
and consistently doing charitable donations and
bra drives. And everyone has been thrilled with the
lookbook-1 so hoped they would be. I felt strongly about producing our own original imagery as
quickly as was financially possible, especially since
this kind of imagery just isn't out there."
Here's to getting down to body-affirming basics,
and to building our fashion not on fantasy, but on
the bodies and the identities that we actually have.
(bluestockingsboutique.com)
40
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
INSMIEU[rilMNOA~TOHA
T
. .II. EORGAS
rl
~s;rot!f
BECS CRONSHAW S FOUNDER AND CEO OF
STRIKING A£ HETIC, DEDICATEDTO
PRO~
G HEALTHY,STRONG, AND FIT
FE.MALEBODIES. PRIORTO HER WORK AS
A PERSONALTRAINERAND BODY SCULPTING EXPERT,SHE WAS A LONG DISTANCE
RUNNER IN THE GREAT BRITAINTEAM. BECS'
GOAL IS TO EMPOWERWOMEN WITH
CONFIDENCE-AND TO HELP DRIVE THE
TREND AWAYFROM DIETING TO WELL-FUELLED,HAPPY,ATHLETIC WOMEN. BECS
DISCUSSES HER OWN TRANSFORMATION
AND HOW WEIGHT LIFTING PLAYEDA
LE
IN MAKING HER THE PERSONSH 1-STODAY.
You went from skinny and shy to a
confident figure model. How did that
happen?
I've always been a competitive woman.
What with a Sub-Three-Hour marathon
running father and pro cyclist brother,
it was more-or-less guaranteed I'd also
catch the sports bug! Indeed, as an adult
I soon had myself a spot on the Great British Running Team. However, with injury
after injury, I decided to leave the sport
and look for something else. Then I was introduced to weight lifting. As a shy, skinny
girl, this seemed a little out there and did
initially take me out of my comfort zone.
So, why weights?
Quite simply, I got into weights through
my partner at the time who was a personal trainer. I was persuaded to give it a go
and forget about the gender barrier. The
weight room was, and still is, a relatively
male-dominated area. But there is nothing as satisfying as seeing the response
when a woman lifts well in a gym-except
of course the satisfaction that comes with
feeling good about yourself and your
body. Weight training has given me, and
many others, a platform on which to break
down some of these barriers, and forge
the way for other women ... so that we can
all have the opportunity to develop in this
area and reap the benefits.
What has weight lifting done for you,
aside from the obvious?
Personally, weight training has given me
a completely different perspective on life.
It has given me a confidence and a belief
in myself that I never had before. It has
developed me into a person who is both
physically and mentally strong-someone
who is both comfortable in my own skin,
and proud of what I have built. This is why
I strongly promote weight lifting to my female clients. It has the potential to change
not just your body but your mind and perspective on life.
Based on your experience, what have
other women gotten out of weight
training or could expect to get out of it?
One of the big things that weight lifting
can do for women is given them a feeling
of being empowered; it helps them feel
strong and capable. Also, women's bodies
are designed to have curves, and that's
what having muscle allows you to create.
It allows you to sculpt your body as you
wish; now that is empowering! Not only
that, but you can be your own competition-there's always something to work
towards and to challenge you every single
week. You see your body change right in
front of your eyes. You start to see and appreciate your body for what it can do, as
well as how it looks. You feel like you have
more energy and you could take on the
world!
What does it take?
Hard work and drive! Your body is
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
43
something you work hard for, that no one
can ever take away from you. But it takes
real effort. There is no quick fix. I'd say,
like in the majority of sports, if you want
results; it takes dedication, change, and
repetition. However, unlike running, which
often requires long sessions if you wish
to see improvements, weights are more
about intense but short sessions. Thirty
minutes several times a week is more than
enough to get results.
Who do you most admire?
It is far easier for a man to get in shape
than a woman, so any woman who looks
after her body and is in shape deserves serious respect! I have always both liked and
admired athletic women. To me, it's very
attractive, not just in terms of the physical
aspect but also in terms of the mindset.
Having the commitment and drive that is
required are rare but important qualities.
The Russian gymnast Oksana Grishina has
one of the best bodies I think I have ever
seen, as does Erin Stern-a former track
athlete and Miss Olympia.
What's your ultimate goal?
It is my goal and my dream to help more
44
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
women realize their potential-to
find
themselves in a place where they can feel
confident and empowered! It changed
my life and I only hope that through my
work and words I can change others. Of
course, I want to win more awards, too!
So for someone wanting to give this a
go, what would you recommend as a
starting place?
First of all, it's about walking into that
gym room and congratulating yourself
on starting. It's not always easy to walk in
seeing the people who have already made
gains. Then, as a beginner you first need
to find an appropriate weight to lift and go
up in weight roughly every two weeks, if it
feels doable (with effort). Weight lifting is
about moving up, building muscle, burning calories, and losing fat. You should
also start with 10-12 reps of each exercise-any higher is just like doing endurance work and you may as well be on the
cross trainer. And remember to rest between exercises (say 60 seconds). Finally,
don't change your routine all the time; get
really good at the same few movements,
and focus on getting strong, lean and
more body confident.
What exercises should we be trying?
My preferred exercises for improving
specific aspects of the female body are:
• Seated shoulder press: Good for defined arms and shoulders
• Bent over row: Good for toning arms
and back
• Goblet squat: Good for everything!
Core, legs, and especially the bum
• Dumbbell dead lift: Good for everything!
Legs, hips, and the stomach
• Split squat: Good for legs, legs, legs!
Do you have any final words of advice?
Nothing in life worth having comes
easy. If something seems too good to
be true, that's probably because it is
(fad diets for example, which often lead
to weight rebound). If you want a body
that turns heads the moment you walk
into a room, then you'll need to embrace
the grind, understand that change takes
time and, above all, keep going. In the
end, you start to enjoy the process, not
just the result. You like how training hard
and eating well makes you feel. You like
how you look better than anyone else.
Best of all is the satisfaction of knowing
you earned it. (strikingaesthetic.com)
If you don't have an eating disorder or
a problem with your self-image, you're
Her beautiful size four mother, a chronic
dieter always unhappy with her reflection, in-
But Singer watches the film about juice
fasting and replaces her addiction to fatty
amongst a minority of American women.
According to statistics, around 90 percent
of women have attempted to control their
weight through dieting, and about $40 billion is spent yearly in America on diet-related
products. Perhaps lesbians and queer women are situated outside of this phenomenon,
if one is to believe the recent NIH study claiming that 75 percent of lesbians are obese.
For a real life lesbian encounter with weight
loss, identity, and how to develop a healthy
body image, read Jasmin Singer's compelling
and unflinchingly honest memoir, Always Too
Much and Never Enough (Berkley).Singer has
wrestled with a food addiction dating back to
her Jersey childhood. Her parents' divorce,
years of being bullied in high school, and a
date rape are among experiences that have
produced a "deeply buried sadness" that
she smothers with food, especially double
cheeseburgers, cheesesteaks, and pizzas.
troduces her chubby daughter to diets.
As an intelligent drama student, Singer
gives up meat and cultivates her image as
a young, queer, "decadent" vegan with numerous tattoos and an edgy fashion sense.
But she rationalizes her tendency to gorge
(she was 225 pounds and 54") by viewing it
as abundance; as a reward for hard work; almost as altruism-going vegan is not about
losing weight but about saving creatures, not
so much herself.
A turning point comes while at a vegetarian restaurant with friends who recommend
that Singer watch a film about the benefits of
juice fasting. She locks herself in the restaurant bathroom feeling ashamed and somewhat ambushed. And yet it is time to ask
herself, "Why do I feel like shit all the time? I
was young, vegan, and even had a master's
in health and healing. And yet, I was digging
myself an early grave."
foods with juice fasts, eating healthily, and
gradually exercising. Over time, she loses
100 pounds. She now feels "grounded and
healthy," and, with her wife Mariann-an animal rights lawyer-runs Our Hen House Inc.,
an animal welfare media nonprofit.
Looking back, Singer tells me, "When
I was fat I spent a lot of time and energy
bouncing back and forth between rationalizing my bad relationship with food by
shunning the mainstream negative view of
fatness and secretly feeling shame about
my eating and my body." She clarifies that
this is only her experience. And it's also clear
that Singer's memoir is not a diet book. It's a
book about reclaiming your body. Her transformation is visible, but the real change is
internal. Her emotional hunger has been replaced by satiety and self-acceptance. "True
health comes from finding abundance," she
writes, "both on your plate and in your life."
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
45
The body matters. Your body. Mine. The vagina matters, and the labia, and the clitoris. The
I DIDN'T NEED~ BOOK OF
INSTRUeTIONS. I LET MY BODY
RESPONDTO HER BODY,AND
THOUGH WE STUMBLED,OUR
FINGERSCLUMSY,OUR BODIES
UNUSEDTO THOSE DIFFERENT
RHYTHMS,WE KNEW.
soft skin of your inner thighs matters. I reach
you and you reach me at the same moment,
and we are mirrors of each other. I was with
men once (you never were) and I know that
kind of body: the hard thrust of it, the prickly
hair of it. You murmur one night in my ear that
I'm wrong, that I'd still love you even if your
spirit were transplanted into a male body, and
I murmur back, Of course I would, but how
could I kiss thin lips with their stubble without missing the soft full lips of you, woman?
How could I graze my nipple against a flat
hairy chest without longing for the way our
curves met each other? How could I gasp at
the sudden thrust of a penis without sighing
for the slow opening of warm petals that you
used to be? I need you to be a woman. Your
female body matters.
Back when I believed I loved men, I also
believed I didn't love sex. I thought of myself
as cold, disinterested, "a prude." Sex was a
tedious chore, a requirement; it was pleasurable enough, but not any more than I could
ment, we had not known sex at all.
Years before, in college, my friends and I
give myself.
Then at 28, still married to a man, I fell in
love with a woman. My best friend. It was
June, and we'd gone backpacking together
in Kluane National Park, a dramatic place of
mountains and great glacial rivers in the Yukon, and each morning in the tent found us
kissing, exploring, caressing-never crossing
into our husbands' territory, sex, but longing
to. When we met up with four girlfriends a
few days later for the annual Kluane Bike Relay, our secret smoldered in our gaze across
the campfire. The other women drank beer
and complained about their husbands: "He
always wants to have sex when I don't. .. It's
just an athletic event you have to endure." My
friend and I joined in the complaining, and
the tension between us hummed. That night,
alone in our tent again, our friends snoring
nearby, we finally crossed into that forbidden
territory, and discovered that, until that mo-
were sprawled across the couch and rug of
one girl's dorm room, discussing an acquaintance who had just come out as a lesbian.
"But what do they do together?" someone
finally asked, and we giggled. No one knew.
Maybe if someone in the room could have
imagined what girls could do without a penis,
I would have discovered my sexual orientation far earlier. But no one knew.
How naive that sounds to me now. In the
Yukon all those years ago, I didn't need a
book of instructions. I let my body respond
to her body, and though we stumbled, our
fingers clumsy, our bodies unused to those
different rhythms, we knew.
When I came out, my sister asked me, "But
how do you know you're lesbian, for sure?"
My body knows. My body vibrates to this
truth of who I am. My body recognizes the
metaphors the artists offer us for lesbian sex:
Artichokes (Jeanette Winterson); "Rose-wet
caves" (Adrienne Rich); Irises,lilies, pineapple
buds (Georgia O'Keefe). In words, these metaphors mean: her body is to be explored, a
secret hidden beneath layers, a beautiful
place to linger with fingertips and tongue.
The conservatives say that what we women do together is unnatural, but nothing has
ever been more natural than my fingertips
tracing your side and hip, my tongue seeking
the warmth and wetness of you, my breath
fast with your breath, the way we whisper
each other's names like prayers. You are the
only lesbian sex book I need.
When I met my wife two years ago, I had
just decided I would remain celibate for the
rest of my life. My partner (the friend from
the Yukon) had died three years before, and I
had been raising my little daughter alone. Attempting a relationship all over again seemed
too risky for both of us. I had concluded that
I was talented enough at self-pleasure, and
that, at 37, my sex life with another adult
was over. In the first few months I knew my
wife, I held her at arm's length, telling her I
just wanted to be friends. The rest was too
complicated. But it is the rest that translates
the soul. When I first kissed my wife, my body
hummed, Yes,and I discovered 37 is young,
still, and sex is one way we leave the temporal
world awhile.
Sex is raw. She pushes me onto the kitchen countertop where we prepared tacos just
two hours before for dinner. We lock ourselves in the bathroom and balance against
the sink while our daughter watches a cartoon movie. I straddle her on the couch while
outside in the dark night a storm brews.
Sex is gentle. We find each other in the
darkness in our bed after a long day of work.
We caress each other in the filtered sunlight
of an afternoon when our daughter is away at
a play date. We wake in the night, when one
of us has had a nightmare, and we caress
each other back to sleep.
Sex is curious. We murmur suggestions
to each other; we experiment. One date
night we stop at Fascinations to spend an
hour pushing buttons on purple vibrators,
handling blue glittery toys. We don't buy anything, but we come home and make passionate love.
Sex is connection. When we have spent
hours talking, soul-connected, my wife and I
gaze into each other's eyes while we touch
each other, when we both arch in orgasm,
and when, afterwards, we lie close, our soft
naked bodies warm against each other, sex
is holy. The body matters. Yours and mine.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
47
OUR Dl£txBILITIESHAVETAUGHT
US A LOT ABOUT HOW TO HAVE
A BODY.AND HOW TO HAVE
A COMPLICATEDBODYTHAT
WANTS COMPLICATEDTHINGS.
There is a myth among the nondisabled
that disabled people are not sexual. And
what's worse, we disabled people are fed
this myth too.
So it's not enough for me to say right out
loud that disabled people are sexual. I don't
mean to shock the uninitiated, but disabled
people are also romantic, sweet, hot, in
love, out of love, hungry, masochistic or sadistic, creative, communicative, desirous.
Some of us are even gay, queer, bi, lesbian,
you name it! We are not necessarily any of
these things because of, or in spite of, our
disabilities, but our disabilities have taught
us a lot about how to have a body. And how
to have a complicated body that wants
complicated things. We are alive, dynamic
beings, capable of complex feelings and
desires. It is possible for our desires to be
numerous, to shift, to change shape, for we
are also numerous, diverse, and changing.
In September of last year, I sent out a call
on social media for participants to com-
If you are born with an apparent disability, you might think that understanding
yourself as disabled is simple. But it's not.
For most of my life, though I could think of
myself as what Mia Mingus calls "descriptively disabled" (it was hard to deny the
cashew curve of my feet, the halted reach
behind or above my arms, the fact that I
couldn't weight-bear without orthopedic
braces and other assistive devices, or that
I didn't learn to walk until I was 3, and even
then it wasn't my favorite style of mobility), identifying with my disability with any
sense of pride was not anywhere near my
awareness. My sexuality became a point of
obsession and focus for me throughout my
adolescence. Over a decade later, I would
at last find people who were both disabled
and queer.
I asked my participants what came first
for them, identifying as queer or identifying
as disabled-and whether or not the one
informed the other.
Disability came before any kind of sexual
awakening, and the only way I can remember certain parts of my life is when
I use the awakening of my disability as
a checkpoint. I remember I was starting
a new school at my church and I was
crushing on a female friend who went
there. I never told her. - Chiara
plete a survey I created about queer (read
lesbian, bi, or queer people of complex
genders who love people of complex genders) sexuality among the disabled. I got
about 30 interested emails, and by the end
of it, nine people sent me answers. My participants identify not only as multiply disabled and multiply queer, but also as artists,
nerds, punks, dancers, geeks, mothers, sex
workers, poets, activists, feminists, daughters, siblings, lovers, and friends. I heard
from queer disabled people who identify
as fat, as gender nonconforming, as people
of color, as white, as Jewish, as the children
of immigrants, as mixed race. Their sexuality and their bodies are wrapped up in all
of this. I'm focusing on sex for this article,
but it's only a fraction of the pie. In parts or
whole, the pie is delicious.
Many of us lesbian or queer girls and
gender-unaffiliated
people understand
that there is a moment, in fact there are
usually several moments, when you come
out. What a lot of us don't grasp, though, is
that being disabled requires you to come
out tool Who is the first person you came
out to? I'm pretty sure the first person you
came out to was yourself. There are some
who exhibit such strong Sapphic tendencies at such a tender age that they elicit
the notice of others, but many of us had
to come out to ourselves before we could
come out to other people, and sometimes
those people were less than supportive:
My mom had a hard time when I came
out as bisexual. "What do you want... a
medal? Do you expect me to be proud of
this?"She's much better now. It sounds
silly (or maybe cliche) but Ellen DeGeneres helped with that. My mom always
thought Ellen DeGeneres was really
funny,and if she was that funny, how bad
could lesbians be? - Michele
I was disabled before I was gay, but knew
I was gay before I identified as disabled,
so it's complicated. - Sarah
You'd think that no one would have a
problem with a disabled person identifying
as disabled. But they do. Just as homophobic people think that it's choosing a sadder,
harder, or unnatural life path when someone comes out as queer, ableist people, no
matter how well-meaning, will try to tell us
that we shouldn't identify as disabled. That
we are "more than our disabilities," and that
we can make ourselves better if we just try
harder.
Being bi or queer was accepted far more
than being sick or disabled. - Cassandra
I was queer before I was disabled. I
actually first came out as a lesbian and
then realized my sexuality was much
more broad than that. I became disabled
later in life, and it was really hard for
me to accept and identify as disabled. I
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
49
WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING
CLOSE OR GOING DOWN, NONDISABLEDPEOPLECAN LEARN
A LOT FROM QUEER DISABLED
PEOPLE.OUR DISABLED-NESS
INFORMS OUR LE~ELOF
SELF-KNOWLEDGEAND BODY
A ARENESSDURING SEX. ~~
kept imagining, after the accident, that
someday I'd be all better, and it wasjust
a matter of physical therapy, etc. I've
accepted and embraced the identity now,
but other people still have a hard time
with it. - Jacqueline Mary
Amber, one of my participants, pointed
out that some disabled women, particularly those who grew up with disabilities
and might identify as queer, choose not to
come out, or choose to repress it, so as to
avoid further "other"ing themselves in society. When I was 20, I saw a sex ed presentation by the Empowered Fe Fes of Chicago,
an awesome education organization and
support network for disabled girls. One
of their mentors spoke to my young and
militantly queer self after the presentation,
telling me, "We have disabled kids coming
by all the time who are afraid to come out."
Despite society's limited conception of
our capabilities as queer disabled people,
we do what we want. And we have figured
out beautiful adaptive systems for getting what we want, on the individual and
community level, in truly sexy ways. In my
experience, the meeting of the level of
communication necessary to express dis-
50
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
ability-related access needs and the level
of communication found in many lesbian/
queer sexual interactions is a match made
at the heights of heaven.
I do find it's helpful though [when the
relationship is going to include sex] to
just sit with the person and talk about
things. Talkabout what you're both physically capable of, what you like, what you
don't like, etc., and when you do have
that honest conversation,there's way less
guessing, and the sex is more connected
and honest and open, and more fun.
-Michele
You might be thinking, OK, now that
the talking's over, let's get to the sex! And
some of us dol But what's really wonderful
and necessary about queer disabled sex
is that people have to be open to the idea
that things might not go as planned, even
when planning is so necessary. That's what
asking things like "Does this feel good? Is
this OK?" is all about, right? Adaptability
and consent.
All people, whether they identify as disabled or not, have access needs that they
should voice with their partners, and all
people, whether they're queer or not (or
just don't know it yet!), deserve great sex
and intimate experiences. In my own partnership, while I am usually bottoming, our
communication regarding access needs
informs what kinds of sexual activities we
will do and for how long. Who is going to be
on top? Who is going to hurt whom? Is it a
Neve Pillow Queen moment? Or does Daddy need it from his baby? Which arm can
we be propped up on this evening? Who
do we want to be to each other? What will
our bodies hold? All this negotiating and
scheming makes for much more creative
play, and much better sex.
When it comes to getting close or going
down, nondisabled people can learn a lot
from models created by queer disabled
people. Our disabled-ness informs our level of self-knowledge and body awareness
during sex.
My disabilitiesmainly mean that sometimes I'll have to suddenly stop. Because
of emotional trauma, some things will
trigger me during sex, and unless I've
come to strongly trust my partner, a part
of me stays on guard. If my blood sugar
drops, or if my asthma flares up, I'll have
to stop and take care of that.-Kira
My disabilities play a part in my sexuality. I fear and dislike being treated as if I
am going to break, so as a result I enjoy
rough sexual play. My disabilities affect
how I date, too. I actually find it easier
to have relations with several people at
once, instead of having the focus on any
one person. This prevents one person
from feeling like a constant caregiver and
allows more flexibility in scheduling fee/good time. - Cassandra
I've found that as a disabled person I
sometimes need more physical touch
than I did before I was disabled. I need
to feel really present in my body, and
grounded, and my partner's hand on my
back or a tight hug makes me feel not
only more connected to them but a/so to
myself, and to this body that sometimes
doesn't act how I expect. - Angie
Many of us are tempted to say, "Don't
worry about mel I'm not fragile! I'm just like
you! Don't be afraid of my disabled-ness!"
This is a complex issue. Some people literally are fragile, and will tell you so. I, personally, am not just like you. All disabled people
are different. We have our likes and our dislikes, and we have our desires and needs.
Some of us are kinky and poly, some of us
are demi-sexual or asexual, some are vanilla and monogamous, etc. Some of us are
too seldom asked what we want or what
we like.
People treat me like I'm asexual, made of
spun glass, or they seem to be intimidated by me. I really don't know what the
problem is. I think I'm fabulous and sexy.
- bi/lie rain
I very briefly dated a person who fetishized my disabled arm, and it freaked
me out. They were sexually turned on by
the fact that I was often dependent on
the kindness of others but still always
tried to do things myself. Like, "It's so
sexy how you're trying so hard to open
that wine bottle." - Jacqueline Mary
I am contacted by people who want to
"take care of me" and are very insecure
with themselves and need someone to
depend on them. They think, "Oh if I can
keep her dependent on me, then she'll
never leave me." Or I've met people who
like the attention they get as a result of
being with me, as if they deserve extra
kudos for dating someone in a wheelchair. - Michele
Sexuality is about more than just having
sex. Sexuality is a life force running through
our bodies. Sexuality is sensuality and embodied-ness. What blocks our access to
our own sexuality is not our disabilities but
societal ableism, which tells us that we are
not embodied, or that our embodiment is
not enough. Queer disabled people are
told that multiple aspects of our identities
make our embodiment and fulfillment unlikely.
One of the biggest things that hurts
queer disabled people is isolation, both
physically and in the form of a lack of access to knowledge and resources about
and for themselves. Even our intersecting
identities are isolated from one another.
Not all queer spaces are accessible or welcoming of disabled people, and not all disabled spaces are queer or queer-friendly.
Sometimes my disabled identity keeps
me at a distance from the queer community. Because smoking is so pervasive in
the queer community and tobacco triggers my asthma, sometimes I physically
can't be in queer spaces. - Kira
disabled people would not only be the interviewees of articles, the honored guests
at parties and award shows, but would also
star in our own feature length films on the
silver screen. I asked my participants what
kind of movie they would make starring a
disabled protagonist, and these were the
brilliant ideas they had:
Being the nerd that I am, I want a
disabled queer women of color Star Trek
very badly. I want to take every sci-fi/
fantasy fandom of mine and fill it with
disabled qwoc magic. - Chiara
I would like a documentary to be made
about me. About my many selves, about
performance art, and poetry and disability, and fluid sexuality, and sex work. I
would like it to be about many disabled
queer sex workers. I need more peeps
and a movie should be made about
all of us. - Amber
It would be a series of short scenes
depicting the subtle ways that the world
can be inaccessiblefor disabled people,
especially when their disabled identity
intersects with other disabled identities.
The protagonist would be black, working
class, femme, and questioning their
gender identity. - Kira
I am intersectional,but a lot of times
specific communities are not. The key is
intersectionality.- Michele
I'm looking for funding for my script, love
like a heart attack, about a mixed-race
queer survivor with PTSD. It's set in
Seattle. - bi/lie rain
A lot of us find the most intersectional
and accessible outlets and resources via
social media. It is the Internet that has kept
me grounded and connected to other disabled people. There are also IRL public and
shared spaces that queer disabled people
inhabit, and that we work to make as accessible to one another as possible. When
spaces cannot meet everyone's needs,
groups like Sins Invalid have innovated the
practice of regularly streaming live performances, and queer disabled activists
often Skype one another into meetings
when meeting in person isn't accessible.
All over the country and the world, events
are being put on by queer disabled people
fuelled with our unique experience and
creative expertise. We can help support
one another by staying in contact!
If I had my way, and maybe I will, queer
I am so grateful that I am both disabled
and queer. Being disabled has made me
a better lover and a better friend-more
open, more patient, and also more assertive-and
being queer has allowed
me to slowly let go of sexual standards
and stigmas about how my body should
look, how it should perform, and who it
should perform for. Being disabled and
queer has created its share of identity
crises, but it has also lit up my path gorgeously.
It has helped me find my way home
to people like the ones whose voices are
featured in this article. And there are so
many more of us; finding and seeking
space for our delightful bodies, having
great sex with cool people, or finding
other ways to get to know our bodies.
(sinsinvalid.org)
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
51
ATU
I FIND COMF
FROM NOTS
On how she identifies:
I have identified as queer for a while
now, though I previously identified and
lived as a lesbian, as well as a bisexual. Queer allows space for the various
non-0inary (an individual who identifies outside the gender binary of male
and female) and trans folks that I am
attracted to, who do not feel they fall
within the duality of bisexuality. A lot
of my straight male porn fans, on my
site NaughtyNatural.com, don't necessarily understand what 'queer' means,
but they've seen me in scenes with
cisgender (an individual who identifies
with the gender they were assigned at
birth) men and women, trans women,
and non-binary folks, so I think they get
the picture whether they know it or not.
On where home is:
The San Francisco Bay Area, Oakland!
I love it here so much. I'm a hippie at
heart and really appreciate the importance wellness takes on for most people
who live here, as well as the proximity
to nature. That's both for my personal
fulfillment as well as making the perfect backdrop for my photography! It's
definitely one of the things that sets my
site, NaughtyNatural.com, apart from a
lot of other porn sites. You really have
everything here from towering forests
to beautiful beaches. I have a very close
personal relationship with the natural
environment here, and lived for almost
a year basically outside in the woods in
Santa Cruz (a small town about an hour
south of Oakland) with no amenities. So
the forest was my literal home. I draw
a lot from that experience in my work.
On her current relationship status:
I'm pretty committed to being polyamorous, meaning I create relationship structures that allow for multiple
romantic relationships; multiple partnerships. So I have a partner here in
Oakland, and I'm also dating someone in New York. I feel pretty filled up
on relationships but I'm always open
to connecting with new people; that's
part of the beauty of polyamory to me.
It allows for possibilities of connecting,
and a greater breadth of experience
in life.
On how she defines 'feminist':
For me, there is the basic meaning
of feminist-that
you think patriarchy
(the system by which men subjugate
women) exists and is wrong and
should be fought against. And then
there is the secondary meaning, that
is much more open to interpretation and much more personal, which
is the 'how' to go about doing this:
Which aspects of society or behavior
are sexist or uphold patriarchy? For
me, being a feminist means prioritizing non-cisgender-men-meaning
women, trans and non-binary folksin art, writing, representation,
commerce even. I grew tired of modeling
and producing content for sites that
were owned by cisgender men, with
terrible politics around gender. I felt
they did not see the models as humans. On NaughtyNatural.com,
I try
to portray the models as real people
and give them platforms to express
themselves.
I try to get their input
as much as possible about how they
would like to be portrayed.
I think
self-representation
is huge for any
oppressed group.
On her book Unshaven: Modern
Women, Natural Bodies:
I stopped
shaving when I was
around 16 or so and came out as a
lesbian. From that time on, regardless
of the sexuality of the people I was
around, I found that very few women
shaved or removed their body hair.
It just became normal to me. I never
really thought about if I liked it or not
till I came to California and started
meeting porn performers who waxed
and shaved, and then I was like, "No
thanks!" Hair removal is tedious and
painful, but I also prefer having hair.
I think a lot about how fragile human
skin is, compared to furry animals, so
the more 'fur' I have, the safer I feel,
especially with my nudist lifestyle.
I find comfort to be sexy. For me,
comfort
comes from not shaving.
However, if someone else does feel
comfortable
removing
their
body
hair, I also find that sexy! It's all about
personal preferences.
(@xnikkisilverx)
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
53
Downward
Facing Dog
A lesbian wrestles with hot yoga-and a hot encounter. BYJOVE
BELLE
S
weat dripped down
my face and landed
on the mat beneath
me. By the time this
class was over, I
would be a wrung-out, overstretched
mess. The instructor-a
lithe, limber
twenty-something
with a strong, lean
core that matched every other part
of her-should
have issued a warning
at the start of class that all the fluids
inside my body would be on the
outside when we finished.
Hot Yoga. As if twisting my body
into poses straight out of Torture and
Torment for Dummies wasn't hellish
enough, someone
decided
it was
58
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
I
L
"I was acutely aware of the answering
pulse of excitement low in my belly,
along with the eruption of goose
bumps rising on my flesh:'
a good idea to add an extra thirty
degrees. Clearly, that person needed
to die. I'd get on that right after I killed
Sharon, my ex-best friend who had
convinced me this would be a fun,
relaxing weekend getaway.
Sharon, of course, moved smoothly
from pose to pose, looking as natural
7
_J
in these unnatural positions as the
instructor.
The two of them were
probably secret evil twins plotting my
imminent, muscle-melted demise.
"Shift your hips slightly forward."
Amber, the instructor, guided my body
into the position she wanted. She left
her hands in place-one
flat against
my lower back, the other high on the
outside of my leg-a beat or two longer
than was strictly necessary. She spoke
in a warm, inappropriately
seductive
tone. "There, how's that?"
Her voice, as lithe and limber as her
body, wound its way through my brain,
stifling my ability to think. God help
me, between the heat, her hands on
my body, and her voice in my ear, all I
could do was stammer out an inelegant
response. "Umm, yeah, sure. Better."
"Good." She gave my leg a little
squeeze before she stepped away to
guide the rest of the class into another
pose.
I shifted along with the group,
hyperaware of my movements and
of Amber as she made her way
between the rows. I watched closely
as she interacted with other students;
evaluating
the way she touched
them, the way she spoke. She was
perfunctory. Professional. Completely
dispassionate.
Clearly, I had hallucinated the sexual
overtures in Amber's contact with me.
The heat had affected me more than
I'd realized.
As we moved into downward facing
dog, Sharon caught my attention. She
smiled and winked and mouthed, "Holy
crapl"
We'd been friends since third grade,
when I punched Bobby McElroy square
in the nose for kicking dirt on her during
a heated game of tag. Blood ran down
his face and ruined the new shirt his
mom had bought especially for school
pictures that day. I was sent to the
principal's office and then home to my
mother. I missed the photo shoot that
year, and Bobby's pictures featured
him with swollen, purple bruising and
a splotchy red stain on the front of his
shirt.
Since then, we'd been inseparable.
If Sharon noted Amber's flirting, then
perhaps I wasn't losing my mind after
all. I returned her smile, and the heat of
a blush crept over my face. Or maybe it
was just the blood rushing to my head
because my ass was in the air and my
head was down near my calves.
Amber made her way back to me.
This time she didn't speak, but her
hand glided
sensuously
over my
backside. It wasn't the kind of grabass maneuver I'd learned to avoid
during the disastrous six weeks I spent
as a cocktail waitress at a hotel near
the airport. Rather, it was a flowing
movement of her hand over my body
that was so smooth. I couldn't tell the
exact moment it started or ended. I
was, however, acutely aware of the
answering pulse of excitement low in
my belly, along with the eruption of
goose bumps rising on my flesh.
She didn't linger, and as soon as I felt
her caress, it was gone. The rest of the
class continued in much the same way.
Amber led us through the remainder
of the poses, offering encouragement
and calming direction to the other
students, and returned to me time and
again until my body was on fire and I
completely forgot about my hatred of
all things yoga.
"Take a deep cleansing breath. Feel
the energy as it flows through your
body, and let yourself sink into the
floor beneath you." Amber stood at the
front of the room, guiding us through
the final position of her session:
corpse pose. It was the one asana that
I inherently understood since all that
was expected of me was to lay flat on
my back and breathe deeply.
"Rest here for a few moments, and
when you feel ready, gather yourself
and rise. Thank you for joining me for
sunrise yoga this morning. I hope to
see you all tomorrow as well," Amber
said, effectively dismissing the class
and me along with it.
I lay there, uncertain what to do next.
Clearly, standing was my first step, but
then what? Should I approach her and
pretend I was cool enough to be hit on
by hot, bendy chicks all the time? Or
run from the class and hide in my room
like the uncertain twelve-year-old boy I
was on the inside?
The other students rose one at a
time until the only people left in the
room were me, Sharon, and Amber.
Sharon finally stood, rolled up her
mat, and moved to stand over me. She
nudged my leg with her foot. "Get up."
I held out my hand and let her help
me to my feet. I still hadn't decided
what to do next, but standing up was
easy. As I collected my mat, Sharon
said something
about meeting me
outside. Then, in true best friend form,
she left.
Amber smiled at me, lopsided
and sexy, and said, "Just us, then."
Her voice held that same deep hint
of seduction, and any hope I had of
playing this cool dissolved into a
puddle at my feet.
"Uh ... yeah." I immediately wanted to
give Amber a copy of my CV to prove
that I was capable of engaging in
proper conversation and that, despite
evidence to the contrary, a large part
of my income was derived from this
very skill. "Looks like."
"You did great
today."
Amber
stepped closer until she was near
enough that the hairs on my arms
stood up, but not so close that our
bodies touched. "I have another class
in about ten minutes."
As proof, students started to file
into the room.
"Oh." So much for my rapidly
forming fantasy involving me, her, and
a modified rabbit pose.
"Will you meet me for drinks
tonight? In the lounger
She gave
me a smoldering
look, her head
tipped down slightly as she looked
up through her lashes and sucked her
bottom lip between her teeth.
I nodded
like a bobble-headed
version of myself. We agreed on a
time, and then, because the room
was full and the new students were
staring, I left.
Instead of murdering
Sharon, I
decided to reinstate her best-friend
status. Hot yoga, it turned out, wasn't
so bad after all.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
59
By Jove, She's
Got It Write!
It's a writer's life for prolific author Jove Belle.
BY ASTRID OHLETZ
makes me blissfully happy. I live with a
woman who still makes my heart do that
funny little racing pitter-patter, even after
20 years. We have a house full of kids and
pets and too many things on our family
calendar for me to keep track of. Who
knew that such a simple life could bring
such complex joy?
I
f you don't know the name Jove
Belle, you should go find out more
about her, because she's one of the
great writers in the lesbian fiction
genre. She writes plots that practically
turn the pages for you, and characters
that feel like the real people you'd could
encounter at work, at your child's school,
or in the pub. Jove has also written her
share of erotic lesbian romance, and has a
talent for finding the erotic in the everyday,
as you'll see in the story she wrote for this
issue, Downward Facing Dog, about an
erotic encounter at a women's yoga class.
She proves that yoga at daybreak can be
fun! We interviewed Jove about why she
writes, where she gets her inspiration, and
what she has coming out soon.
60
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
What would you like Curve readers to
know about you?
In addition to being an author, I am also
one of several regular contributors and
co-admins for the lesbian fiction-focused
blog Women and Words (womenwords.
org). Our goal is to provide a friendly, wellestablished, fun forum where authors
can connect with readers, and vice versa.
We feature guest bloggers, writing tips,
calls for submissions, and giveaways
(because who doesn't love a free book?).
Generally, there's new original content
every day. In fact, I'll send a Women and
Words refrigerator magnet to anyone who
mentions this interview in the Comment
section of my most recent blog entry.
For reals. Beyond writing, I live a life that
How did you become a writer?
For as long as I can remember, I knew
I'd write a book. Until about 10 years ago,
it was something that was more of an
ethereal concept than an actual possibility,
sort of an unofficial bucket list item. Then
a friend and co-worker brought in a copy
of a novel she'd written. It was printed on
regular office paper and stored in a threering binder. When I saw it, I realized that
writing wasn't something to do "in the
future." It was something I could do while
living my regular, everyday life. It was as if
my friend had handed me a permission
slip to do something I'd always wanted to
do. A switch flipped, and I wrote a book.
And another. And another.
What do you feel links the different
stories you write?
I'm a "slice of life" writer. Or, rather, I
strive to be. That means I try to get as
deep as I can inside my characters' heads
and experience life from their point of
view. My last novel, The Job, takes place
almost exclusively during the course of a
bank robbery gone astray. I like to explore
what makes bad guys do bad things and
then question if they're really all that bad.
And I like to take good guys and give
them some really bad habits. I like to
challenge the reader to see them beyond
the simple construct of good and bad.
1
I live with a woman who still 7
n1akes n1y heart do that funny
little racing pitter--patter, even
L
after 20 years.
_J
So, the common theme running through
all my stories is the often puzzling, always
fascinating human element.
where the next idea will originate, but
I've learned to watch for them and grab
hold when they appear.
What do you do to get yourself into the
mindset to write a novel?
This is a deceptive question. It seems
like an author wouldn't have to do anything
other than simply write. But it's never that
simple. Each writing project requires a
mental shift. I have to move myself into
the right headspace. And sadly, that often
involves staring at the wall for hours on
end, visualizing my characters as they
move from scene to scene throughout
the story.
What inspires you to write lesbian
fiction, versus just general fiction?
I can't imagine a world, or a book, that
doesn't involve lesbians. So, until lesbian
fiction becomes just general fiction, I'll
be writing lesbian fiction by default.
What sparked the idea for your
upcoming book, Cake?
Cake started life as a short story, actually.
Two friends invited me to contribute to
their anthology All You Can Eat, which,
coincidentally, made the Lambda Literary
Awards short list for 2015. Before I got
anywhere close to finishing, I realized that
I was writing a much bigger story. I love
these women and I just couldn't let them
go without exploring more of their world.
Where do you get your ideas? Are you
the kind of person to whom the muse
appears when you're in the middle of a
trip to the supermarket, or reading the
newspaper?
All of the above. A novel can start with
the simple spark of one word spoken
at the exact right moment when I'm
chatting with a friend. Or sometimes it
will float into my brain on a particularly
beautiful song lyric. Or maybe I'll be
driving and see something that reminds
me of the time ... Frankly, I never know
Which writers inspire you?
Oh, this is the type of question that is
impossible to pin down an answer for.
It changes with my mood. Right now, in
this exact moment, I'm inspired by, in no
particular order, Ann Patchett, Jae, Lee
Winter, Gill McKnight, Willa Cather, Cate
Culpepper, and J.K. Rowling.
What's your favorite novel of all time?
Same answer, in that it changes with
the moment. Today, the answer is 0
Pioneers' by Willa Cather.
What makes it a favorite?
O Pioneers! features characters who
are strong, independent women during
a time in history when women were
required to be strong, but independence
was damn close to impossible.
What's one piece of advice you give to
people trying out your novels for the
first time?
Wow, one piece of advice would be
to not read anything that requires one
piece of advice to successfully navigate
it. So, my advice would be more of the
no-advice variety. Simply read, hopefully
enjoy. Wash, rinse, repeat.
(jovebelle.com)
definitely need for this business. I also
Susie
character I play. There is no difference for
top-ranked
me. The love of my life, for this role, just
became very comfortable with my body by
junior tennis player who left the
happens to be a woman. I love to step into
acting on stage. Sports definitely translates
court and jumped almost straight into the
someone else's shoes and imagine what it
into the arts in some ways.
boardroom of one of the best television
would be like, from my earliest memories,
shows
D
ynamic
blond
Abromeit
was
actor
a
to be Pam: Why I am the way I am, why I
What is your relationship to your body?
Jones. In the show, Abromeit plays Pam,
made the choices I made, and why I chose
Would you describe it as a healthy one,
the personal assistant to and fiancee of
the partner I chose. All the influences in my
especially as a woman working in the
attorney Jeri Hogarth (Carrie-Anne Moss), a
life-why I came to work for Jeri, and how I
entertainment industry?
ruthless power lesbian. Even though she's
came to be-build
gorgeous to look at, Pam is not a typical
character Pam.
days where I certainly may have one too
to her partner. Abromeit gives Pam a
Did you have concerns about playing
fries, but for the most part I love my body
memorable, complex, and strong onscreen
gay?
to
and do things that nurture it. Our body
presence. As the first season progresses,
separate real life from reel life, and then
is our temple, and most of the time I do
we see Pam use her morally-guided good
there's industry typecasting.
of
this
year: Marvel's Jessica
an imagined life for the
I have a pretty awesome one. There are
many drinks or stuff my face full of french
femme, nor is she feminine and submissive
Audiences
seem
unable
healthy things for it. In turn, it provides me
sense, her physical strength, and, yes, her
Not at all. I don't usually play the same
feminine prowess (specifically, when she
character twice. I have played a wide
teases Jeri, then leaves her stiff-fingered
variety of roles: the tortured soul who is
with lots of energy and, above all, great
health.
late one night in the office). Season 1 ends
seeking redemption, the girl next door, the
What are your thoughts on playing a
with Pam locked up for murder. Fans of the
vixen, the siren, the killer, and now, a really
feminine woman in Jessica Jones?
series can soon learn the outcome of this
powerful LGBTcharacter. I can't wait to find
cliffhanger because Netflix has greenlit
out what's next.
I loved it! Learning to walk in those really
high heels was a trip, but I absolutely loved
being ultra feminine. I got to experience
season 2. Named one of Maxim's "Hot
10" of 2015, Abromeit chatted with Curve
Do you subscribe to a particular acting
about Pam's future, how she feels about
theory or philosophy?
more of my feminine side.
There's some discussion about
the
"playing gay," and how she believes loving
Warner Loughlin and Diana Castle are
your body is the best thing you can do for
two amazing teachers I have worked with
limited female roles in Hollywood lately,
yourself.
as acting coaches, and they are very much
while
about using your imagination. For the most
"badass" female characters, e.g. the
part, I feel that for me this is the best way
triangular dynamic between Pam, Jeri,
to go, but I have explored all the different
and Wendy.
Why did you take the part of Pam?
I initially read for the role of Jessica
Jones and fell in love with the project. It
on TV there seem to be more
I love the contrasting character of a role
theories of acting.
like Jessica Jones. It just doesn't get any
was so intelligently written that I made a
vision board of wanting to be involved with
You were a top-ranked junior tennis
better than her. We all wish we could have
the project. And then, six months later, I
player: Why did you decide to transition
those sarcastic, hilarious one-liners right
manifested Pam. I am beyond grateful for
from being an elite athlete to becoming
after we save the day by being able to fight
her.
an actor? What, if anything, is the
five guys, Ronda Rousey-style. Pam is just
a woman, at the end of the day, who wants
connection between the two, for you?
Do you have a personal connection to
I was always an artist as a little kid, and
to be loved by the person she loves most,
an athlete. I was pulled in both directions,
and she is willing to fight for that, pure and
I always have. The LGBT community is
but at the time I chose tennis, and it served
simple. I think the triangular dynamic just
close to my heart and, growing up, I had a
me well. Then I received a scholarship to
puts a new, fresh spin on an old theme that
few close friends who came out to me.
Duke University for my tennis and it was
has happened time and time again in life
there that I got a chance to focus on the
and in movies. The powerful businessman
On the website gay-or-straight.com,
arts. From there, I realized that I wanted to
having an affair with his secretary, leaving
you're rated as "73% gay"-would
be an actor full time.
the LGBTcommunity?
you
his current wife; it's an old story. But now
care to adjust that at all?
the powerful businessman happens to be
I would notl I think it's awesome and
feel like I did my job right. I'm proud of that
rating.
How are being an athlete and an actor
The connection
for both
is that
I
experienced what it takes to be great by
How did you approach playing a lesbian?
The
same
way
I approach
every
a powerful businesswoman.
similar?
Any word on your part in season 2?
I have no ideal All I can say is #FreePam.
having discipline, focus, determination,
and a tough hide. Those are things you
Watch JessicaJones on netflix.com
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
63
ST
FEATURES/COVER
IERCE FEMME KAREN AKUNOWICZCAME INTO THE KITCHENOF THE HIT
BRAVOTV SHOW TOP CHEF WITH KNIVESBLAZINGAND PINKHAIRON FLEEK.
AKUNOWICZ,THE EXECUTIVE
CHEF (AND A FULL PARTNER)
AT MYERS+CHANG
IN BOSTON,WAS A 2015 JAMES BEARDAWARDNOMINEEFOR "BESTCHEF
NORTHEAST."
BORN IN NEW JERSEYAND LIVINGOUTSIDEBOSTONIN LESBO-CENTRIC
JAMAICAPLAIN(OR "JP"TO LOCALS)WITH HERWIFE,LJ JOHNSON,AKUNOWICZTURNED
DOWNTHE INITIALOFFERTO BECOMEA "CHEFTESTANT"
AND WAITEDUNTILSHE FELT
"STRONGENOUGHASA CHEF"TO OFFERUPHERABSOLUTE
BEST.
ON THESHOW,WHICHIS
IN ITS13THSESON,AKUNOWICZ'S
EXPERTISE
IN THEKITCHEN
AND HERDEEPLY
CULTIVATED
SKILLS(SHESTUDIED
ATTHECAMBRIDGE
SCHOOLOFCULINARY
ARTS),
AREMATCHED
BYHER
MENTALTOUGHNESS
ANDDETERMINATION
TOWIN.CONFIDENCE
ISA KEYINGREDENT,AND
ONETHATSHECARRIES
WITHHERBOTHPROFESSIONALLY
ANDPERSONALLY.
SHEBELIEVES
THATFOODIS NOTTHE ENEMY;IN FACT,ITS THE BESTWAY-WHENFRESHLY
MADE-TO A
WOMAN'SHEART.AS FOR BODY IMAGE,"I AM A TOTALBABE,"SHE SAYSWITH TOTAL
CONFIDENCE.
"SOAREYOU."WE'LLTAKEA SIDEOFTHAT,PLEASE!
What is the most stressful part of competing on Top Chef?
I think the most stressful part-outside
of cooking in the
desert with only a stove powered by the sun, in 20 minutes-is
not having your support system and community, the folks who
hold you up and keep you going in your life. It became clear to
me how much I rely on my core support system, especially my
spouse, my sister, my family and the group of strong women
in my life who inspire me, drive me, and keep me laughing.
When do contestants sleep? Do you sleep in bunk beds? Do
you pull pranks on each other?
Ha! We didn't sleep very much, truth be told. We were
traveling
all over California,
so we were in hotels most
of the time. We each had a roommate-no
bunk beds
(unfortunately?)-and
there were a few jokes and pranks,
but mostly lots of talking and sleeping.
What made you ready, this season, to compete in Top Chef,
one of the toughest reality TV competitions out there?
This season, I felt strong enough as a chef and as a
person to compete on the show. I was so supported by my wife LJ,
who really encouraged me to try out, that I almost felt I had
to give it a shot. Also, my restaurant was at a place where we
had really strong cooks and two strong sous chefs. When my
partners Christopher [Myers] and Joanne [Chang] discussed
it, we thought it was worth it. If I hadn't had their full support,
I would not have wanted to do it. They have been my biggest
supporters. I was in a good place personally and professionally, where I could look at it as an experience and not a necessity.
I also know that far fewer women audition than men. I wanted to be part of making sure that young women and girls keep
seeing strong women on TV and in the culinary field.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
65
IAMATOTAL
BABE.
SOARE
YOU.
AND
YOU.
WEALL
ARE,
AND
ALL
OFOUR
BODIES
ARE
FUCKING
MAGICAL,
BEAUTIFUL
WONDERS.
#EFFYOURBEAUTYSTANDAR
How did you feel about having your relationship made very
public in the first episode?
It was such a surprising moment for me-and so amazing.
was very intent on being out on the show. My spouse and I talked
about it beforehand and agreed that even though our life and
relationship is very personal, we wanted to make sure that I was
never hiding who I was. Being queer and femme are as much a
part of my identity as being a chef. I have never been happier or
prouder in my life to marry the person I love, and being able to
share that with people all over the country was scary but very
powerful. I grew up thinking I could never legally marry the per-
Commercial kitchens have not always been tolerant of
feminine-identified women. Have you encountered much
sexism in the kitchen?
I always tried to put my head down and work twice as hard
as everyone else; to not pay attention to anything else. When I
first started cooking, I was often one of the only women in the
kitchen. I am not offended easily, but I knew that I ignored more
than I should have. I spoke up more than I am sure some people
would have liked. I remember asking for help from a friend and
co-worker with something I didn't know how to do, and he responded, "Chainsaw [her nickname], I guess you need a man for
son I love, and to have that change, not only in Massachusetts
something, huh?" I was furious, and I told him how I felt. Another
but on a federal level, was a monumental occasion.
female cook told me that at one point she never thought I would
I think about young queer people all over the country and hope
last in the kitchen, because I wore mascara on my first day. I re-
that more and more they are seeing themselves represented in
member thinking, "Really? What the fuck does that have to do
the media as much as possible. To see our community on televi-
with my skills, or my work ethic, or my determination?"
sion, and in all shapes, sizes, colors, and gender presentations, is
radical and important.
In your own kitchen at home, what is the one ingredient you
never are without?
Salt. Always. Even if you have nothing but an avocado in your
kitchen, you can elevate it and make it shine with a few grains
of salt.
What is the best meal to woo a woman?
Fresh pasta, hands down. Make it together and it is even better.
Taking a few simple ingredients like eggs and flour and turning
them into something as luscious as pasta is really sensual and
feels almost like magic. Nothing feels quite as good as kneading
pasta dough. Well, almost nothing.
66
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
Do you think femmes face discrimination within the queer
community?
I think things are really different now than when I was younger. Now I have a community of badass femme friends, as well
as people who love and support and value the femmes in their
lives. In Boston, we have The Femme Show, a collaboration of
queer femme performers and writers who put on a variety show
of sexy, smart, brazen performances every year. I also know that
I choose to live and work in communities of like-minded people,
in the liberal state of Massachusetts. It wasn't always this way for
me, though.
I can remember always being assumed straight, and feeling
invisible in the gay community-even
if I was out at a club or a
party. I was teased for carrying a purse, or wearing lipstick. I dat-
FEATURES/COVER
MAR/APR
2016
ST
CURVE
67
ed a girl who, in private, loved my lacy bras, but would mock me
for being so "dressed up" when we went out. And going out on
dates with people who assumed I had never dated female-bodied people before. Femme invisibility is real and prevalent in so
many ways.
You're not the only queer woman on the show: What's it like
sharing the kitchen with Frances Tariga-Weshnak?
I think Frances was surprised to find out that I was gay-I
al-
ways assume the pink hair is an indicator! Frances is a great chef,
as well as being funny, stylish, and kind. I liked her a lot, and wish
we had gotten to spend more time together!
What is your relationship with your body?
I am not skinny, but I am healthy and strong. I love wine and
food. It has taken me so long to be at peace with my body. We
have spent many years at war with each other. I have gained and
lost weight. I have been many different sizes. I feel better in my
skin now than I did in my 20s. I know I feel the best when I am
exercising, boxing, lifting weights. I feel the best when I am not
eating dairy. I love my butt. Seriously.
68
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
IWAS
TEASED
FOR
CARRYING
APURSE
OR I
WEARING
LIPSTICK.
FEMME
INVISIBILITY
IS
REAL
AND
PREVALENT
INSOMANY
WAYS
I
I
FEATURES/COVER
Your advice to queer women who want a healthy relationship
with food, and a healthy body image?
I think that a healthy relationship with food comes from listening to what your body needs and what makes it feel good
and bad. What gives you the most energy to get through the
day? What keeps your mood up and your spirits high? Eat green
things. Drink more water than imaginable. But for goodness'
sake, don't forget to drink the wine, eat the pasta with truffles,
order dessert. Don't miss out on the beautiful things in life.
The body positive movement going on right now is giving life
to so many people. Myself included. Tess Holiday, Mary Lambert, Nicolette Mason, Gabi Gregg [aka GabiFresh], and so many
more are sexy and talented as hell and changing the face of
who we see in the media. I bought my first crop top at a Mary
Lambert show! Who says you can't wear a bikini, or a pencil skirt,
or a tank top if you are not a size 2? It's important that we all
have role models and women to look up to who make us feel
empowered just as we are. So when someone in Boston asked
me if I really wanted to bare my upper arms on television while
filming Top Chef, I made a conscious decision to do so, for
every girl and woman who fears baring her upper arms. Side
note: I wonder if any of the gentlemen
ST
on the show got asked
that question. I am a total babe. So are you. And you. We all are,
and all of our bodies are fucking
magical, beautiful
wonders.
#effyou rbea utysta nda rds
Farm to Table, NosetoTail-whatfood
movement, if any,doyou
subscribe to?
I focus on sourcing fresh, beautiful ingredients, and giving
you either fun or innovative takes on classic dishes. I am inspired by Taiwanese soul food and Southeast [Asian] street
food. I want my food to be crave-able and addictive.
What is your cooking philosophy, and how will your new
restaurant incorporate that philosophy, both in the kitchen
and on the menu?
"Cook the food you want to eat." Sometimes I come up with
new dishes just based on what I want to eat, or am missing on
the menu. If you know anything about me-our new restaurant
[with Joanne Chang and Christopher Myers] will be fun, sexy,
and full of bold flavors, from the Far East to the Middle East.
(bravotv.com)
•
SOAKING
~f
Sf~fNill
Buddhist wisdom and ancient cities
come alive aboard a river cruise
through central Myanmar.
hen it comes to alternative approaches to health and
wellness, many Americans look to the East. Ayurvedic
medicine, yoga, Reiki, and acupuncture each have
Asian origins, some rooted in Buddhist, Hindu, and Jain
traditions. They offer a welcome alternative to Western medical
treatments, especially for those seeking to prevent illness,
reduce stress, and maintain physiological balance.
W
"Wellness travel" is an emerging category in trip planning. Naturally,
many turn to dedicated tour companies or health retreats to dive
deep into personal healing. But not everyone wants to take Elizabeth
Gilbert's Eat Pray Love approach, devoting weeks or even months to
practicing meditation in an ashram or at a full-throttle wellness resort.
Instead, many travelers enjoy the option of a well-rounded vacation
with some healthful choices tied in. Even better if the trip stirs up
positive energy, takes you someplace enthralling or exotic, and
does what great travel should do: inspire, delight, and broaden your
perspective.
On a river cruise through Myanmar aboard the Road to Mandalay, I
got to enjoy that sort of magnificent journey. Traveling on this shipwhich, despite its name, plies the water, not the roads-is one of
LGBT-friendly Belmond's journey packages. Like its sister vessel, the
Orcae//a, the Road to Mandalay cruises along the Ayeyarwady River
between Mandalay and the ancient city of Bagan, over as many as
eight or as few as three days. (The Orcael/a offers longer trips.)
Commonly known by its pre-1989 moniker, Burma, the nation of
Myanmar is today a burgeoning tourist destination, thanks to some
positive political and economic changes in the recent past. Its capital
city, Yangon (formerly called Rangoon), is undergoing a major 21stcentury transformation, spurring much-needed improvements to
highways and other infrastructure countrywide.
Like me, many travelers are eager to explore Myanmar while it's
still largely untouched by throngs of tourists. Ironically, however, I was
aboard a ship that's been cruising the Ayeyarwady since 1996, with
a devoted crew whose long-term expertise pre-dates the political
evolutions of late. That gives the Road to Mandalay team special
70
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
1
TRA
FEATURES/
PO\[)
10
MANDALAY
TRAVELIS JUST
ABOUT THE BEST
WAYTO SHAl<E
OFF EVERYDAY
STRESSAND
RETURNTO A
SOULFUL PLACE
OF INTIMACYAND
INTROSPECTION.
''
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
71
ties to villages and tourist sites, as well as a loyal, communityminded approach concerning its local impact.
Belmond, an adventure travel operator that values
sustainability and a strong local presence, has helped to build
21 schools where more than 3,000 students take classes. It also
operates a free health clinic in Bagan, as well as helping villagers
when they most need it, especially in the wake of natural
disasters like the devastating 2008 Cyclone Nargis.
As part of the Road to Mandalay's itinerary, guides lead
excursions ashore to visit tiny towns and picturesque templeslike Mingun's massive, bright-white Myatheindan Pagoda, and
the village of Shwe Kyet Yet, where the day begins by giving
alms to Buddhist monks from the town monastery.
Plenty of good vibes come from traveling with a company
practicing responsible ethics. This positive attitude is reflected
by the ship's pleasant and accommodating staff. On board,
there are many forms of restorative living to enjoy.
The 300-foot-long, four-deck ship is outfitted with an
observation-deck pool, and lounge areas where I could
practically feel the stress melting away. On the boat's lower level,
the spa offers massage and other therapeutic treatments-and
Belmond is planning to further enhance its offerings later this
year.
The ship's fitness center may be compact, but it's a great
place to hit the treadmill while gazing out on the riverbanks
72
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
beyond. There's also a salon for coiffure perks and quality manipedi pampering. Though the cruise offers changing dining menus
each day, I was glad to find plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables at
every meal-as well as an afternoon cooking lesson to get more
familiar with traditional Myanmar ingredients and dishes.
Each morning, I was able to join yoga, meditation, and tai-chi
classes in the ship's indoor communal space, though they are
offered on the upper deck and in special locations ashore on
occasion. This summer, Belmond plans to up its game by hosting
yoga expert Nadia Narain on board from August 24-31, as part of
a guest-speaker program celebrating the ship's 20th anniversary.
Narain will host "yoga mornings" as the sun rises and meditation
classes as it sets, with all experience levels welcome. She'll also
help guests with "de-stress" techniques (one of her specialties),
encouraging them to make the most of their Myanmar adventure
by switching off the demands of their everyday lives.
It's true that travel is just about the best way to shake off stress
and return to a soulful place of intimacy and introspection. But
for me, Myanmar offered an especially soothing quality, possibly
because it lies along one of the seven "earth chakra" strands,
where spiritual energy supposedly flows with ease.
Exploring this region and gliding along the river, past fields
and forests with gilded temples peeking above the tree line, it felt
magically restorative to pursue my own serenity. But in the end, I
think it was the serenity that found me. (belmond.com)
Plan your
2016
vacation now!
■
■
■
■
■
■
SingleWomen's
Weekend:
May20-22,2016
MemorialDayWeekend:
May26-30,2016
Womenof Color&
FriendsWeekend:
June2-5,2016
GirlSplash:
July 19-23,2016
CarnivalWeek
(Backto the80's):
August13-19,
2016
Women's
Week
(32ndannual):
October10-16,2016
merica's First
estination
I~
Ptowntourism.com
Download your
free app today!
iPtown
Your Provincetown.
-rcl.'t
:itJ-
DIIII
Some of these islands are large enough to have forests, farms,
harbors, villages, grand estates, and summer houses. Others are no
bigger than a rock fit for a seal to sunbathe on. It's a truly magical
experience to take a boat through these islands. The shipping routes
between the Baltic and Stockholm pass through the archipelago, so,
as well as kayaks, yachts, motorboats, and ferries, you may catch a
glimpse of a stately ocean liner or cargo ship gliding between the islets
and atolls. It's a mariner's paradise.
On this trip, my four ports of call were Uto, Alo, Landsort, and
Nynashamn, but there are many others worth visiting, such as the
picturesque Vaxholm and Sandhamn, with their Martha's Vineyard
vibe and gourmet restaurants, gastropubs and swanky marinas. This
visit, my wife and I were seeking the kind of adventure that appeals
to nature-loving Swedes, and my islands were about rustic pleasures,
and getting back into our bodies.
GETTING THERE
If you're staying in Stockholm, you can take a ferry to the island of
your choice, but for something different and thrilling, we took a highspeed RIB (rigid inflatable boat). A young Norse goddess expertly
commanded this vessel, while her handsome offsider kitted us out
in protective overalls and goggles to keep us dry and insulated as we
skimmed the water at full throttle. The RIBwas much faster than a ferry,
and an adrenalin rush rather than relaxing, but occasionally we slowed
down in the no-wake zones and chatted about the gorgeous scenery,
which included deer grazing at the edge of the water, and sea eagles
high above. (oppethave.se)
74
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
FEATURES/
TRA
UTO
We docked at this small and unique island known for its natural
beauty-and the oldest iron ore mines in Sweden-which you can
tour just a short walk from your accommodations at Uto Vardshus,
a once-grand Swedish inn built in 1890 by a rich industrialist who
hoped to attract sophisticated Stockholmers to the island for
opulent and carefree weekends. The commanding property, which
includes numerous outbuildings, sits on a hill with stunning views
of the ocean and lovely sunsets. Choose digs to fit your budget;
you can get a room or an individual cabin, or bunk down at the
youth hostel. The decor is plain, unassuming, and honest, which
is the Swedish way, especially in the country. No matter, as you'll
be spending your time outdoors. And once you've exhausted
yourself hiking through the nearby fairytale forest, or cycling across
this woodsy island, reward yourself with a lovely dinner at the Utb
Vardshus Restaurang-excellent service and fine, hearty Swedish
cuisine. (utovardshus.se)
ALO
It came time to leave Utb and catch a boat to our next stop. On
the way, we fueled up on Swedish seafood on the small island of
Alo, which is connected to Uto by bridge. One of Alb's distinguishing
features is an upscale fish shack, Restaurant Batshaket (The
Boathook), with outdoor seating and its own dock (batshaket.se).
After tucking into a lipsmacking platter of wood-smoked salmon,
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
75
peel-and-eat shrimp, and potato salad with mustard dressing,
we reluctantly left our perch in front of the pewter-colored sea
and climbed aboard a little boat that took us on to the next
adventure.
LANDSORT
It was a windy afternoon on the Baltic Sea, and after a bumpy
but fun one-hour ride, we docked at Landsort, just before a
rainstorm. Landsort holds a mythical status in the minds of
Swedes-there is even a Swedish lager named after it (more on
that later). Only a couple of miles long, this island was noted in
Nordic sailing records from the 1200s, and has variously acted
as a seasonal fishing village from the 1600s, a military base, and
a government checkpoint. Landsort lighthouse is the oldest
lighthouse in Sweden, and perhaps for good reason. Not only
can it get stormy out here, but in a south-easterly direction
lies Russia-and Sweden has a difficult relationship with the
Russians,to say the least. (landsort.com)
The fact that Landsort is the farthest-flung island in the
archipelago appeals to artists and adventurers, who are drawn
to its rocky outcrops, scrubby vegetation, cute red cottages,
and one little pub, which closes at 4 p.m. If you decide to visit,
you will need to stay in Landsort Oja, a plain cement tower that
originally served as the watchtower for vessels. The seven-story
building has now been converted into a mini-hostel that sleeps
76
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
eight people, more or less. Amenities are Spartan, but the overall
experience is invigorating.
Hosting your stay is Ake Svedtilja and his wife, Lotta; two
wonderful and gregarious Swedes who treat you as though you
are guests in their home, and this becomes especially apparent at
dinner, which takes place at the only real restaurant on the islandSvedtiljas Bar and Grill. It's a miracle that in such a rustic place you
can get a menu offering delights such as smoked duck breast with
fried egg, cashews, and orange mayonnaise, and entrecote with
roasted beets, lemon, red wine jus, and black aioli. The young,
internationally-trained chef is top notch. Ake and Lotta may chat
with you as they fill your glass with excellent wine and make sure
you're happy. (g-mo.se)
NYNASHAMN
The next day, we took the ferry to Nynashamn, a wide peninsula
with its own lovely geography, including villages, verdant farmland,
woods, and gorgeous sand-and-pebble beaches framed by
gnarled pine trees. Nynashamn is a popular holiday hamlet for
Stockholm's well-to-do people, largely because it is picturesque,
boasts an excellent foodie scene, has some lovely hotels, and is
connected to the city by road and rail-it's a mere 35 minutes from
Stockholm. (visitnynashamn.se)
Baltic babes who are in-the-know head to Nynas Havsbad, a
modern waterfront hotel with unobstructed sea views and the
WHEN
YOU'RE
IN
LAS
VEGAS,
YOU'RE
ALWAYS
TREATED
WELL.
ESPECIALLY
WHENYOUTREAT
YOURSELF
As one of the top destinations
time,
WHEN
YOU'RE
FEELING
LOOKING
night
your
you're
out
options
GOOD,
best.
from around
picking
YOU'RE
Check
out
the
and
Premium
In between
your
GOTTA
all the
partner
gift,
Las Vegas
expansive
The Palazzo
Outlets
Grand
Ami
or venture
North
off
fun
from,
Las Vegas
to want
trip.
From
amazing
Gabi at Paris to new Downtown
are sure to be memorable
has to
the
choose
Strip
you
dining
in
and unforgettable
Strip
views
hot spots,
and, of course,
offer,
And
your
delicious.
There
the Stay Well rooms
deals.
at Mon
meals
nightlife
venues
for
in Downtown
taste,
Las Vegas
ultralounge.
visit,
there
are plenty
like you could
There's
whoever
is like
from
hip
a party
to be found
to keep
do it all over again.
ALL
like
ITS OWN.
with
every
time
amazing
Commonwealth
- a booming,
sure to have a good
or one of
of how you
of options
no other,
bars
to SHARE
but,
spas to choose
Oriental
Regardless
IS A LIFESTYLE
the year, so you're
TO
or do anything
45 luxurious
at MGM Grand.
in Las Vegas
every
READY
spas to help you relax
Spa at Mandarin
and feeling
NIGHTLIFE
it easy
world-class
are over
to do Vegas,
you refreshed
The
to take
has numerous
Shoppes
for amazing
to eat.
here
AND
NIGHT.
like the five-star
THE
that
you're
or rejuvenate.
EAT.
are going
of your
has countless
Canal
Whether
best.
REJUVENATED
ON ANOTHER
Las Vegas
and keep you looking
Las Vegas can be one of the most romantic
experiences
for a romantic
you need to have a great
need to look and feel your
REFRESHED,
is all in Las Vegas.
outfit
your inner shopaholic
to the Las Vegas
A GIRL'S
the world
up the perfect
or an unexpected
to satisfy
Las Vegas has everything
you could
TAKE
at The Venetian
and
everything
GOOD.
The best shopping
Whether
for LGBT travelers,
including
multilevel
single
day of
whenever
you are.
NOMATTER
HOWYOUSPENDYOURTIMEIN VEGAS,
THERE'S
FINALLY
A GETAWAY
THATGETSYOU.
Visit
LasVegas.com/gaytravel
to book flights,
hotels,
vacation
packages
and more.
you
best spa weekend on offer. No one does spa like the Swedes,
and there is no better place to try it than this' Havspaviljongen
is the hotel's bathing and spa section. Newly renovated, it is the
best part of the entire property, and worth visiting even if you're
not actually staying at the hotel. Imagine chilling on the deck,
wrapped in your fluffy robe with a cup of tea, as a very expert
and obliging therapist gives your feet a soak and a salt scrub
(Maria Akerberg's organic products are used for all treatments).
The only thing to cap off this dreamlike state is to step into the
giant hot tub, which is right on the jetty that juts out into a glasslike sea, dotted with distant sailboats. Of course, you must try the
quintessentially Scandinavian wood-fired sauna, if only for a few
minutes, because it's built right into the rocky promontory. For
something very sensual, take a glass of champagne and your girl
into the indoor pool. If it all gets too relaxing, take a nap upstairs
in the spa lounge, and gaze out onto the horizon. Life doesn't get
better than this. (sodexomeetings.se/nynashavsbad)
Afterward, you'll be hungry, and there are snacks available.
My advice: Save your appetite and go to dinner at Restaurang
Kroken. This is great, family-friendly, casual seaside dining. Views
of the harbor, welcoming service, and everything on the menu is
delicious: oysters, salmon, steak, and lamb. (restaurantkroken.se)
But the Swedish seaside means seafood, and for the very
best you must stop by the historic, award-winning Nynas Rokeri
& Fiskhall. This fish shop and its attached bistro are run by a
mother-daughter team; they come from a family of fisher folk
and sell top-quality, sustainable, local seafood. Both mom and
her daughter Nikki are statuesque, and hands-on, overseeing
everything from the smokehouse to the front of house. And the
eatery, which serves lobster, crab, prawns, smoked mussels,
marinated salmon, fish stew, and shrimp sandwiches-washed
down wine, schnapps, or cold beer-is your best bet for lunch.
(nynasrokeri.se/en/fish-shop)
78
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
If you do have any beer while you're in this part of the world,
please don't request a Bud: Remember to drink locally, because
it will be some of the best you can set your lips to. The young,
hip guys and girls at Nynashamns Angbryggeri, a local, awardwinning microbrewery, produce an amazing amber ale, Landsort
Lager, and a number of other excellent and distinctively Swedish
brews (nyab.se). And to finish with something sweet, visit the
ChokladHuset (chokladhuset.com) and taste the pralines
commissioned for the Nobel Prize banquet dinner. Handmade
by chocolatier Louise Obrink, who is given a mystery theme
each year that she must translate into flavors, her bonbons have
included lingonberry and champagne-featuring
sparkling
chocolate that pops in your mouth. Last year's theme was
'Swedish Landscape,' which warranted chocolates flavored
with spruce, juniper, and whey butter. Talk about a taste of the
archipelago'
Toplan your islanditinerary,go to visitstockholm.com.
CROSSW
LASTLOOK/
THE
L-OUIZ
Test your
lesbian knowledge
with our queer crossword.
BY MYLES MELLOR
ACROSS
1.
French tennis great and a
lesbian, first name
5.
NBC's Losing it with Jillian
star
9.
Bagel topping fave
10. Little troublemaker
11. U.S. women's soccer great, a
prominent lesbian, 2 words
15. Italian river
16. LPGA tour great who came
out in 2004, 2 words
18. Top Norwegian handball
player who is a lesbian,
Hammerseng
20. Anchorage's state
z
0
Cl
34. Legendary tennis pro and
LGBT activist
2.
Popular tattoo letters
38. One to hang out with
3.
Shows off
40. LGBT part
4.
Picture
41. Existed
5.
Emerald is its birthstone
42. Leaf collector in the garden
6.
Web page
7.
Great time
44. Network airing One Big
Happy with Ellen DeGeneres
8.
London and NYC district
36. Responses to a masseur
37. Supported by
39. Lubricating liquid
40. Top women's basketball star,
Britney_
12. If it ain't this, don't fix it
43. _ carte or king
13. Half a fortnight
44. Long distance swimmer who
is a lesbian, Diane
14. USN title, abbr.
24. USA softball medalist who is
a lesbian, Lauren
51. Famous body builder and a
lesbian, Heather
26. Green light
52. One of the top women's
tennis players of all time and
a lesbian, first name
29. Profit for investors, abbr.
30. Motocross pioneer and
lesbian, Steffy_
U.S. women's soccer
defender who is a lesbian, 2
words
41. Fitness trainer on Bravo TV
who is a lesbian, Jackie
46. Romantic connection
Cl
~
1.
23. Last name of an annual
Palm Springs golf weekend,
famous for lesbian pool
parties
27. Second word of a flower to
remember
0
DOWN
33. First openly transgender
artist in MMA history, Fallon
47. Billie Jean King's partner,
Ilana
32. School for naval gazing
33. Mid-life decade
35. Young ladies
45. Workout target
48. Yes, in French
49. Red, Yellow or Black, but not
orange
50. _-lingual
17. Jam containers
19. U.S. soccer star who is a
lesbian, Megan_
21. Place for a daily run
22. Count near the end of a ring
countdown
25. Luau fare
27. Back to work day, abbr.
28. Former lover
30. Drinks source
31. Tuna type
.
'I
N
I
.L
H "Iii, I s
3 ■ n ■ 3.
s,t s o,., ll,., ■ -■
s s
, ••" , "..■
lj,,
IH
,
3 ■
I
I
s s "
ii. ■ 8
>\, ■ a
■
:>,.
8
't,, A It,
.L ■
"• •" I
3 N I H q,,I
o,, Is H 't,, I H
I >\, ■ X 0 4, I n,,v.,II.,I 3
■ 0,,N
3 ■ I 0 ~. ■ 3,, 1'1, ■ s0 ~z
H O H s,, ■ 3
N I d ct.," 1,3
Ck ■ "■ cl,, ■ >t I )I 'z --3
I'
IH
,
I
■ o
0
H
3
""'l,
o.,• •ct., ■
N
--~. !>,,■ s
<\,
='..~
'fl 8
3,"
MAR/APR
N 0
ru 3
3 ■ 3 ■ H ■
Ill
o ■ H ■ 0-
s,,
3
--
N
H,:,
"~.
I
A
8,, 8
"•
2016
S
O ~.
■ >t
-Ill
111, ■ 3
I
o I 0
".. Id
I'
Ill
,..
■ x
0
,,
1
wz"'~
3t
CURVE
79
LASTLOOK!STARS
or1na
ed
ction
March comes in like a lioness, and comes out like hot lamb loins
for a romantic April dinner for two. By Charlene Lichtenstein
(March 21-April 20)
Comedian Tig Notaro turns 45 on March 24.
,,,
r-..,~~--
(Feb 20-Mar 20)
/
This is a woman who needs
other women around her.
She will do anything within
her power to help a friend
in need. But don't count
on her to join you in battle.
She would rather make love
than war. She will strive for
compromise or acquiesce
when an opponent looms
too large. Don't call her
afraid; call her an eminently
wise survivor.
/
/
/
~
/
/
/
/
,,;
~
(Mar 21-Apr 20)
Sapphic Rams can be
generous or behave like
kids in a candy store if they
think that you support them
unconditionally. For this
reason, it is easy to take
advantage of them. However,
once they figure out that
they've been used or abused,
they take no prisoners and
will never ever forget. Woe
betide the person who takes
advantage of her.
(Nov 23-Dec 22)
Expect a lot of fun and gaymes
Sagittarians not only see
to scratch this spring and why
this spring, Lioness. You feel
themselves as hostesses with
not? You have been too sedate
inspired, energetic and a little bit
the mostess, they also want to
and routine. It is time to break
Out of your humdrum. There
out of control. That means you
be right in the center of all of
can not only mine your creative
the action both in and out of
are steamy surprises in store
muses but also certain feisty
the home. Your social calendar
for those who take the road
lovergrrls. You know how to get
fills up quickly this spring. How
less travelled. So pack your
'artistic' with you-know-who,
can you balance all this need
bags, plan your itinerary and
which can involve body paint,
for attention with the needs of
let a certain lovely lady hum
a feather boa and an egg timer.
others? Share your adoration
your drum in some far off exotic
Make your masterpiece.
with a certain you-know-who.
locale.
(Aug 24-Sep 23)
;'
;'
(July 24-Aug 23)
Aries have an adventurous itch
(Dec23-Jan20)
Your mouth can get you into
There is a lot of gossip swirling
Will you confuse a platonic
trouble this winter, Virgo. Lucky
around this spring and
relationship with a passionate
you! Say what is on your mind
one this spring, Taurus? In fact,
and see how you can change
Capricorns may be right in
the middle of it. Your 'secret'
you may have already set the
the social dynamic. You could
flirtations and liaisons become
stage for drama among your
a hot topic of conversation and
closest gal pals. Decide if you
become a mover and shaker in
a community effort or political
want to mix it up. If so, go for it.
movement. Do good deeds and
known. When it all spills out (and
The heart wants what the heart
wants. But be prepared for
before you know it, you will be
it will) will you be like a deer in
the one to know. And I might
the headlights or checking the
some heartburn!
mean that in the biblical sense.
headlights of some dear?
(April 21-May 21)
(May 22-June 21)
(Sep 24-Oct 23)
admirers may make themselves
(Jan 21-Feb 19)
Geminis will have to find the
perfect balance between all-
Don't let your family get in the
There are some Aqueerians who
way of love, Virgo. That may
just can't resist grabbing for
consuming career goals and
mean a deft hand with certain
the bill at every friendly event.
the needs of lovergrrls now.
relatives. But you are up for it
This spring, try to balance your
Burning the midnight oil at work
and may even find ways to make
generosity with practicality. Find
will not help to burn the embers
a tense situation mellow and
free or cheaper opportunities
of passion at home. Make some
accepting. Get it done as fast
with your bosom buddies to enjoy
tough decisions to balance your
as you can. You will need your
each other's company. They say
life so that the both of you are
energy to apply that same deft
both happy and satisfied.
hand to a lovely who is much
that the best things in life are
free-sunshine, happy families,
more deserving and attractive.
good gal pals... Err,what else?
(June 22-July 23)
Why are you locked to your
(Oct 24-Nov 22)
(Feb 20-March 20)
desk when the spring weather
Fun may cost much more than
Your professional aspirations
beckons, Cancer? It is time to
you think this spring, Scorpio.
take center stage this spring.
free yourself from any dreary
Tantalizing her with extravagant
You see an opportunity for all of
and boring encumbrances. Get
the job done and clear off your
gifts and wooing her with gilded
your hard work and good efforts
experiences may attract her in
to be recognized and rewarded.
desk. You need time to simply
the short term. But if you want
Guppies seize the chance to
CharleneLichtensteinis the author
refresh, rejuvenate and reassess
her in it for the long haul, pace
improve their corporate position
of HerScopes:
A Guideto Astrology
your life's directions. All work
yourself and all the gift giving
with a little hobnobbing with the
(Simon& Schuster)
ForLesbians
and no play makes a very dull
and reveal to her your golden
power brokers. This is not a bad
girl of Jane ... not to mention
inner qualities. Uh, what was the
idea, unless they suggest that
April, May and June.
price of gold again ...?
your next position is prone.
/
~
,,
/,
nowavailableas an ebook
(tinyurl.com/HerScopes).
80
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
WELCOME to the MAGIC of
SPRINGI6
TRENDS
THE
TOP
LOOKS
OF
& HOW
TO
THE
SEASON
PUT
ITALL
TOGETHER
CALWN
KLEIN
JEANS
Denim shirt.
Cotton. 69.50.
Destructed boyfriend
jeans. 79.50.
Both for misses.
'
\
t ;._:_~;l(':.
:,
·t '·\~" •
SHOW
usYOUR
LATEST
MACY'S
FINDS
USING
#MACYSLOVE
l:rCOULD
BEFEATURED
INTIMES
SQUARE
INNYC!
----~:~f~~~~~~:,;::~
..!!!!!!11",...~~#-;;;:lli;
ffiRDCYSiwo
See all items with this value
-
l
TheFloridaKeys
Key\\tst
Close To Perfect - Far From Normal
curve
MAR/APR
2016
FEATURES
3~1
SPRING FASHION SPECIAL
This season it's all about
feeling comfortable in your
skin courtesy of Wildfang,
Capulet, and Bluestockings.
BODY TALK
Meet inspiring women who are
literally shaping themselves into
what they want to be, whether
that means lifting weights,
going unshaven, or having
great differently-abled sex.
5~
WOMEN ON TOP
Celebrating 35 years of the
lesbian-feminist theater
collective, the WOW Cafe.
58
SAPPHIC SHORT STORY
Jove Belle's "Downward Facing
Dog" takes place in a women's
hot yoga class.
62
SUPER SUSIE
Former tennis champ Susie
Abromeit is a hit in Marvel's lezfriendly classic Jessica Jones.
70
MAKE MINE MYANMAR
The Southeast Asian nation
welcomes queer travelers to
relax and take a river voyage
that fills the senses.
,~
NAUTICAL AND NICE
The Stockholm archipelago
offers ocean-loving ladies the
best sailing, spas, and seafood.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
1
MAR/APR
2016
11
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
IN EVERYISSUE
4
EDITOR'S NOTE
6
CURVETTES
8
FEEDBACK
11
THE GAYDAR
80
STARS
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
TRENDS
REVIEWS
9 LES LOOKS LIKE
Each issue we pick a lucky lez
with a look and a life to match.
24 MUSIC
The legendary Melissa
Etheridge on her new perspective on life and health. By
Tiffany Lawana
12 BEAUTY
The best cruelty-free products
for your face and body.
14 LESBOFILE
What's new and noteworthy
with our favorite celesbians.
By Jocelyn Voo
VIEWS
16 POLITICS
Deep thoughts and heartfelt
convictions on a different topic
each issue from our contributing politics editor. By Victoria
A. Brownworth
18 OUT IN FRONT
Meet the community leaders
who are doing us proud. By
Sheryl Kay
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
28 SEX
Tap into the power of lesbian
and female desire with sex life
coach Amy Jo Goddard's new
book in Woman on Fire. By
Marcie Bianco
31 FILMS
We review the lez-trans feature
Her Story; plus the funny and
familiar Portrait of a Serial
Monogamist. By Lisa Tedesco
& Mallorie DeRiggi
18 IN CASE YOU MISSED
IT ...
LAST LOOK
LGBT news from across the
country. By Sassafras Lowrey
79 CROSSWORD
Can you tame our Queer Quiz?
By Myles Mellor
22 LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Relationship advice from our
trusted butch-femme duo. This
issue we bid them farewell I
2
26 BOOKS
If you have questions about
your sexuality and coming out,
just "Ask a Queer Chick." By
Yana Tallon-Hicks
-
Si:-::i1111
Tlli1111sl p
N
umerous studies claim that lesbians and "sexualminority women" are more obese than straight
women-The National Center for Biotechnology,
2007, and the National Institutes of Health (NIH), 2013, among
others. These studies, much like the theory of Lesbian Bed
Death put forth in 1983, are usually the work of scientists and
sociologists working with a small sample size and little real
connection to the lesbian community.
For example, the NIH study, which proclaimed that
75 percent of lesbians are obese, had a sample size of 87
lesbians compared to a significantly larger test group of
5,460 straight women. How can it be that a study that
purports to analyze the health and well-being of a minority
demographic treats its subjects as a minority within the
study? Each time these studies are funded and conducted,
and their findings are released, the media seizes upon the
statistics to repackage already well-worn myths about sexual
minorities.
I'm not saying that fat lesbians don't exist. They do, and
many of them are happy-many also healthy. But lesbians are
not just fat. They come in all shapes and sizes. And a// of their
bodies matter.
This is our annual Body issue, and in it, we celebrate the
physical diversity of lesbian, bisexual, and queer women.
That includes some incredible people, such as: our Top
Chef cover girl Karen Akunowicz; breast cancer survivor
and vegetarian Melissa Etheridge; British weightlifter and
model Bees Cronshaw; formerly "fat" vegan activist and
memoirist Jasmin Singer; sexual empowerment coach Amy
Jo Goddard; performance artist and teacher Holly Hughes;
trans-inclusive fashion entrepreneur Jenna Kadlec; and
"unshaven" enthusiast Nikki Silver, to name a few. Plus, an
in-depth article featuring voices on sexuality and disability
is a must-read (page 48). Not to mention some lovely spring
style, fine fiction, and spa-centric getaways!
The women in this issue have varying body types,
identities, professions, and experiences. But what they
all share in common is the belief that their well-being and
personal power is located in their freedom of physical
expression. In an election year, when the war on women's
bodies is at its most intense, I think you'll agree that's an
important power to claim.
~z
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
merryn@curvemag.com
Life is too short for cookie-cutter vacations. When you travel with Olivia, you are
not just going on vacation. You are a part of something much bigger.
Something unique.
On an Olivia vacation, you are surrounded by women of all ages and ethnicities from all over the world. We charter entire cruise
ships and buy out whole resorts so you can be out and free to be yourself. Whether you travel with your partner, best friends or
solo, you'll fit right in.
On our trips, your shared sense of adventure with other lesbians will allow you to forge new friendships, find new love or simply
revel in being free to be yourself. You will return feeling not only relaxed, but empowered. Weinviteyou toexperienceTheOlivia
Difference.
■
■
0 IVICJ
THE TRAVEL COMPANY FOR LESBIANS
VISIT OLIVIA.COM OR CALL (800) 631-6277
CST#1009281040
RONT /
cu RVETTES
NEVE BE
Neve Be is a mouthy, multidisciplinary artist and queer black
punk. They are a writer at Harlot magazine, maximumrocknro/1,
modelviewculture.com, Plenitude and Everyday Feminism.
Neve also writes, performs, and makes films as their erotic
persona Lyric Seal, responsible for the advice column "Slumber
Party!" on crashpadseries.com. A performer and organizer
with performance group and disability justice organization
Sins Invalid, Neve is based between Seattle and Oakland. Visit
nevebeyankin.tumblr.com
curve
THE BEST-SELLING
MAR/APR
2016
LESBIAN MAGAZINE
» VOLUME
26 NUMBER
2
PUBLISHER Silke Bader
FOUNDING PUBLISHER Frances Stevens
EDITORIAL
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Merryn Johns
SENIORCOPY EDITOR Katherine Wright
CONTRIBUTINGEDITORS Melanie Barker, Kathy Beige,
Marcie Bianco, Victoria A. Brownworth, Gina Daggett,
Lyndsey D'Arcangelo, Anita Dolce Vita, Sheryl Kay, Gillian
Kendall, Dave Steinfeld, Jocelyn Voo
EDITORIALASSISTANTSLisa Tedesco, Annalese Davis
OPERATIONS
DIRECTOROF OPERATIONS Jeannie Sotheran
PROOFING
SARAH HAHN CAMPBELL
PROOFREADER lndre McGinn
ADVERTISING
Sarah is an essayist and novelist who lives in Denver, Colo.,
where she teaches high school English and parents a beautiful
little girl with her wife Meredith. Campbell has published work
in a variety of publications, including Room Magazine, Sinister
Wisdom, Iris Brown Lit Mag, and Adoptive Families Magazine.
Her novella, The Beginning of Us, came out in January 2014.
She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Naropa University,
and writes the monthly column "Subversions" for Brain Mill
Press.Visit sarahhahncampbell.org
NATIONALSALES
Rivendell Media (908) 232-2021, todd@curvemagazine.com
ART/PRODUCTION
ART DIRECTOR Bruno Cesar Guimaraes
SOCIAL MEDIA
MANAGERAnnalese Davis
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Melany Joy Beck, Jenny Block, Kelsy Chauvin, Mallorie
DeRiggi, Dar Dowling, Jill Goldstein, Kristin Flickinger, Kim
Hoffman, Francesca Lewis, Charlene Lichtenstein, Tiffany
Ceridwen Lowana, Sassafras Lowrey, Kelly McCartney,
Myles Mellor, Emelina Minero, Laurie K. Schenden,
Stephanie Schroeder, Janelle Sorenson, Rosanna RiosSpicer, Yana Tallon-Hicks, Sarah Toce
CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS
Steph Brusig, Grace Chu, Meagan Cignoli, Sophy Holland,
Sara Lautman, Syd London, Maggie Parker, Diana Price, B.
Proud, Robin Roemer, Leslie Van Stelten
JOVE BELLE
Jove Belle has been a part of the lesbian fiction publishing
community for almost a decade. In addition to being an author
and editor, she is a founding member and co-ad min of the
popular lesbian fiction blog womenwords.org. She lives with
her partner and six children, one dog, one cat, nine chickens, a
mortgage payment, one sedan, and a cushy SUV big enough
to hold the Lesbian Brady Bunch. Her books include Uncommon
Romance, Love and Devotion, Indelible, Chaps, Split the Aces,
and Edge of Darkness. Visit jovebelle.com
SHELLEYLINDLEY
Shelley obtained her BSc in Immunology before carrying out a
PhD. She then went on to fulfill her passion to be a professional
writer. She loves to travel and adores good conversation,
spontaneous moments, live music and cooking. Her ideal
evening would be cooking in the kitchen with wine, music and
the disco ball. Her knowledge of quotes and random facts
is legendary. Her icons are vast-from her friends, to Albert
Einstein, to Winston Churchill. Find Shelley on Facebook. (She
keeps it simple; Shelley Lindley.)
CONTACT INFO
Curve Magazine
PO Box 467
New York, NY 10034
PHONE(415) 871-0569
SUBSCRIPTIONINQUIRIES(BOO) 705-0070
(toll-free in us only)
ADVERTISINGEMAIL todd@curvemagazine.com
EDITORIALEMAIL editor@curvemag.com
LETTERSTO THE EDITOREMAIL letters@curvemagazine.com
Volume 26 Issue 2 Curve (ISSN 1087-867X) is published 6 times
per year (January/February, March/April, May/June, July/August,
September/October, November/December) by Avalon Media, LLC,
PO Box 467, New York NY 10034. Subscription price: $35/year, $45
Canadian (U.S. funds only) and $55 international (U.S. funds only).
Returned checks will be assessed a $25 surcharge. Periodicals
postage paid at San Francisco, CA 94114 and at additional mailing
offices (USPS 0010-355). Contents of Curve Magazine may not
be reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part, without
written permission from the publisher. Publication of the name or
photograph of any persons or organizations appearing, advertising
or listing in Curve may not be taken as an indication of the sexual
orientation of that individual or group unless specifically stated.
Curve welcomes letters, queries, unsolicited manuscripts and
artwork. Include SASE for response. Lack of any representation
only signifies insufficient materials. Submissions cannot be
returned unless a self-addressed stamped envelope is included.
No responsibility is assumed for loss or damages. The contents
do not necessaraly represent the opinions of the editor, unless
specifically stated. All magazines sent discreetly. Subscription
Inquiries: Please write to Curve, Avalon Media LLC., PO Box 467
New York NY 10034, email jeannie@curvemag.com
Canadian
Agreement Number: 40793029. Postmaster: Send Canadian
address changes to jeannie@curvemag.com,
Curve, PO Box
122, Niagara Falls, ON L2E 6S8. Send U.S. address changes to
jeannie@curvemag.com,
Curve, PO Box 17138, N. Hollywood,
CA 91615-7138.Printed in the U.S.
curvemag.com
6
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
FREE TR_lAL OFFER
Enjoy a 30-day trial on the App store*
Get even closer to Curve with extended
content, and interactive features such as our
Lesbian Movie and Book Library.
-
Download on the
.-
App Store
Apple, the apple logo and iPad are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the US and other countries. App store is a service mark of Apple Inc
*Free Trial offer only available on the App Store. Paid subscription commences at conclusion of free trial period.
Free trial is for new digital customers only.
RONT /
FEEDBACK
are lesbians who have made
real contributions to the
LGBTcommunity, but also
to women generally, and to
mainstream culture as well.
This made me very proud to
be a lesbian. Thank you Curve,
for doing important work!
- Lisa Davis, Burlington Vt.
MAKING HERSTORY
Words cannot express how
impressed I was with your
History Issue [Jan/Feb V.26#1].
Who knew the band BETTY
was so fabulous? I only knew
them from The L Word and
that catchy theme song. It
was amazing to hear about
their firm friendship, and
their history of activism and
standing up for everyone's
rights-not just their own.
That really set the tone for
the whole issue. A majority
of the women I read about
CHERRY ON TOP
I was very interested to read
your interview with the great
Cherry Jones ["On a Role,"
V.26#1].I have admired her
work for such a long time,
and I think she is positively
wonderful. I both loved and
hated that she went and
got married to a gorgeous
woman. Good for her, she
sounds so happy! Sucks to be
me, however.
- Lori McPherson, via email
MOM'S THE WORD
If I can change one stubborn
parent, hopefully I can change
them all. The other day at
work a woman came in with
her daughter. Accompanying
the two of them was a church
friend of the mother's. The
girl was 15 years old. Her eyes
were puffy and red and she
looked extremely tired. The
mother rudely told the girl
to sit down while she signed
her name in. With her head
down, the girl walked quietly
and did what her mother
told her. I assumed the girl
was pregnant. What else
could provoke such anger
in a parent? Apparently the
girl came out to her mother
that she was gay. The mother
thought that was the most
evil thing in the world that a
person could be. She began
to berate the child in front
of other patients and talked
with her friend about getting
the child exorcised of her
demons. This pissed me off!
I have a son who is gay. I was
upset at first but I would never
make him feel like he was less
than a person. So instead of
slapping the mess out of this
cow, I decided to write. I'm not
much of a writer, but I wonder
Fit•i•■ ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::·.::::::·.·.:::::::y1
WHAT
WILL
YOU
DO
FOR
YOUR
BODY
THIS
SPRING?
if this is how most parents feel.
I wrote this because I want
some mother or father to read
it and know that they are not
alone. And if I can love my child
through whatever misguided
teachings that I have grown up
with, maybe they can too.
- Shannon Reynolds, via email
BISEXUAL INCLUSIVITY
I really enjoy reading Curve
magazine. My spouse (who is
female) brings them home for
me as a treat, she is so nicel
In addition to the interesting
articles, it's so fun to see
myself reflected in the queer
ads. However, it kind of hurts
my feelings when I see so
much bisexual invisibility
throughout the pages. Pete's
sake, even on the cover it
says LESBIAN magazine
under the word Curve. Could
that maybe be changed to
queer? Or some other less
exclusionary word? I am
happily married to a woman,
but I am not a lesbian. I'm
bisexual. I think there are
others out there like me who
enjoy this magazine but
don't feel great about being
rendered invisible.
- Sara Bosely, via email
Editor's Note: Curve
was founded in 1989 as a
S% Takeit to a hot yoga class
magazine for all women who
are same-sex attractedincluding queer, bisexual,
20% Treat it as my temple
and trans women. The word
'lesbian' is not intended to
25% Make sure it has sexy time!
be exclusionary. Historically,
it has been used to describe
4,7% Watch what I put into it
same-sex attracted women,
and in using it we refer to
both the identity and the
tendency, and assume its
..........................................................................................................................................................................
rich intersectionality .
...........................................................................................................................................................................
Send
WRITE
Curve magazine, PO Box 467, New York, NY 10034
US!Email: letters@curvemagazine.com
to:
8
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
Subscriber Services are now available at
curvemag.com/magazine
✓ subscribe
✓ pay your bill
✓ change address
✓ renew
✓ get missing issues
✓ give a gift
www.outa ndeq ua l.org
f
~
D
•o D
PICKS
»
PRODUCTS»
PEOPLE
»
The legendary DJ brings her magic
to the dancefloor at Club
Skirts Dinah Shore
Weekend.
·-~
_.,........
....
,,,
, .............
~.-,.,.
.
··--~---~:;•._,.,..--
....--------·--
---,·--
.
TRENDS/
THE GAYO R
p
~ THEGAYDAR
~
Takes one to know one? Let our gaydar help
~ you decide who's hot, who's not, who's
~ shaking it and who's faking it in lesboland.
~ BY MELANIE BARKER
~
The Academy of
Motion Picture Arts
and Sciences snubs
Carol for Best Picture
and Best Director
nominations, even
though we know it's the
best flick of the year
Carrie-Anne Moss
actually looks like a slutty
power dyke in Jessica
Jones
Tsai Ing-wen, Taiwan's first female
president is pro LGBTrights and same-sex
marriage, posting a video on her Facebook
page saying "I support marriage equality ...
let everyone be able to freely love and
pursue happiness"
Out lesbian Lena
Waithe captivates
audiences as Aziz
Anzari's lesbian
friend Denise in
Master of None on
Netflix. Werk it, girll
Kendall
Jenner
and Cara
Delevingne,
aka CaKe,
spark lesbian
rumors prior to
launching their
clothing brand
of the same
Caitlyn Jenner
doesn't want
to date women
now that she
is one. "I've
been there,
done that, got
three ex-wives,"
she says in the
Season 2 trailer
for I Am Cait
w
~
~
X
~z
85
z
~w
sz
0
w
Hillary
Clinton's
lesbian
pantsuits,
as identified
by a Slate
columnist
°"
w
Amy Poehler
and Tina Fey's
(not very
funny) parody
of tortured
cinematic
Carol-esque
lesbian love
on SNL
There's a baby boom
for Tig Notaro and wife
Stephanie Allynne, who
are expecting twinsl
_j
I
2
g
~
z
z
~
8
Performance artist
StaceyAnn Chin's critically
acclaimed Motherstruck is
directed by Cynthia Nixon
(and produced by Rosie
O'Donnell) off Broadway
Rowan Blanchard, the 14-year-old
who plays Riley Matthews on the
Disney Channel series Girl Meets
World, comes out as queer on Twitter
Amy Schumer begins
her acceptance speech
for Best Actress in a
Comedy Film at the
Critics Choice Awards
by saying she "would
love to go down on"
Lily Tomlin
<(
z
<(
0
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
11
TRENDS/
BEAUTY
XoOuch
at thcHcach
After no real sun for months, it's natural
to overdo it on your first trip to the
beach. Key West Aloe has products that
will save your skin-literally. Save a Tan
Sho,vc1~
Yo1u~sctr
,vith S1n~ing
Turn over a new leaf with premium,
cruelty free bodycare from Lush. Rub
Rub Rub Body Scrub-no bath or
bottle required. Just gently buff away
dry skin under the shower with this
jasmine, mimosa and orange-scented
is a creamy after-sun moisturizer made
with 80 percent aloe vera and scented
with coconut and key lime. Apply to
moist skin after a shower to prevent
peeling. If you have painful sunburn,
reach for Aloe Max 100 to cool, soothe,
and hydrate your skin. If you were bitten
at the beach, or missed a few places
when applying your sunscreen and
are feeling itchy, ComfortCaine, with
94 percent aloe vera and 4 percent
Lidocaine, will give you some aloe RX
and take the ouch out of a day at the
beach. It's even better when stored in
the fridge! (keywestaloe.com)
bar made from sea salt and Cupuac;u
butter. For a richer body conditioning
experience, Ro'sArgan Body
Conditioner made by Lush product
inventor Rowena, is a decadent
apres-shower cream enriched with
cocoa and Cupuac;u butters, almond
and Argan oils, and the delicate
scent of fresh rose petals-a perfect
post-winter skin softener. Even better,
Lush raised $425,000 from their 2015
#GaylsOK campaign, led by Alessandro
aL.Oe
rTlc3H
~
100
~
SKln
GeL
Commisso, donating it to the Love
Fund, which supports LGBT equality
worldwide. (lush.com)
111
,1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111!
11
l'i
~:A:iB:a~
rlhel 111ll
H1~azilia11
women
1Hidro~tonte
Corporal
·-~Prolongad,I
Sod~oisturizer
~tfydnllO<'I
Hidrotante
Corporal
~
.....
Hydrotont
Corporei
~-
SJ~@.r
ii
,_
,-
Notu,ol
~P ........
Wf,i,
yntitetk;fr1>9<•c
!, 6.76fl.oz./200mle
I~
r~
12
CURVE
MAR/APR
l
r
2016
Get your Amazon on with an amazing line of bodycare products for women. Committed to
environmental conservation, animal protection and social responsibility, Surya Brasil has created a
collection of vegan and sustainably harvested products that are non-GMO, vegan certified, and never
tested on animals. We love the Sapien Women Body Moisturizer made from 100 percent natural and
organic aloe leaf juice, macadamia seed oil, murumuru seed butter, and the delicious and superhydrating Cupuac;u butter, which smells like a cross between pineapple and chocolate. From head to
toe, Surya Brasil has an eco-certified product, sustainably harvested from the Amazon rainforest, to
help you restore your natural balance. (suryabrasilproducts.com)
TRENDS/
GOSSIp
• IN DEFENSE OF J-LAW
LES
BO
FILE
OUR FAVORITE CELEBS ARE BREAKING UP, COMING
OUT, AND GETTING IT ON.
BY JOCELYN VOO
• RUBY ROSE ROCKS ON
Some spend months crying into
pints of ice cream when broken
up with. Others seems to take it
in much better stride. Like Ruby
Rose, for instance, who, after a very
public (though seemingly amicable)
breakup with fiancee Phoebe Dahl,
was photographed mere weeks later
spending time with her purported new
gal-pal, singer Halsey. The two "met"
on Twitter after the Orange is the New
Black actor tweeted out a simple "hi."
Halsey replied in kind, and the rest is
history. #relationshipgoals
Equally adored for her Oscar wins as
much as her Oscar foibles (back-toback stair-tripping, anyone?), Jennifer
Lawrence is the subject of many a
celebrity lady-crush. So when the
tomboyish actress told Glamour that
her style was "slutty power lesbian,"
the
Internet
was
gleeful-and
horrified. Twitter was aflutter with
women who took offense to the gag,
but leave it to Ruby Rose to reinstate
peace, telling New York magazine,
"Jennifer Lawrence is an amazing
actress and an amazing advocate for
women and women's empowerment
and the wage gap in Hollywood
and so many amazing things ... She's
always spending so much of her time
supporting other women and the
LGBT community. There's no way
that she meant that with any kind of
malice." Word.
• KOMING OUT KARDASHIAN
Oh boy, guess which Kardashian is
allegedly koming out now? "Kendall is
a lesbian," a source told OK! Magazine.
"She's only just started talking about
it with her inner circle." The source
then
attributed
model
Kendall
Kardashian's about-face to her close
supermodel
and openly bisexual
friend,
Cara Delevingne.
We're
definitely on the skeptical side of this
one, but if not, prepare the DVR for the
inevitable TV special.
• BLACK GIRL POWER
• NO LABELS PLEASE
Keke Palmer, whose screen fame
includes Akeelah and the Bee and the
TV slasher Scream Queens, is also a
budding vocalist. The music video
to her latest single, "I Don't Belong
to You," depicts
Palmer waking up
in bed with a man, but in the end
knocking on the door of a gorgeous
woman who leads the lingerie-clad
singer into her home. Palmer ignores
"the specifics of 'Am I gay? Am I
straight? Am I bi?'... I'm making the
rules for myself, and I don't have to be
stuck down to one label."
14
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
Known as Rue in the first Hunger Games
alongside Jennifer Lawrence, Amandla
Stenberg, 17, has come out as bisexual.
In the January Teen Vogue, Stenberg
made a Snapchat video addressing
her Black Pride (her mother is AfricanAmerican, her father Danish): "It's deeply
bruising to fight against your identity and
to mold yourself into shapes that you just
shouldn't be in. As someone who identifies
as a black bisexual woman, I've been
through it and it hurts and it's awkward
and it's uncomfortable ... Then I realized
because of Solange and [director] Ava
DuVernay and Willow [Smith] and all the
black girls watching this right now, that
there's absolutely nothing to change."
TRENDS/SHE
SAID
"I'm
not, like, malehating. I believe we need
them too. But the reality is that
people are brought up thinking
that women are inferior ... Enough is
enough."
Abby Wambach to Fortune.
corn's Most Powerful Women
Next Gen Summit in
San Francisco
"From Ma
[Rainey] comes
Bessie [Smith], from Bessie
comes Billie [Holiday], from Billie
comes Nina Simone. This legacy of
radical feminine consciousness and
political activism is channeled through the
voice. Voices speaking from the stage,
from the phonograph, from the radio
what could not be said in their daily
lives."
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
15
Who Is Winning the War on Women?
Women's History Month is the time to reflect on our lack of progress.
BY VICTORIA
A. BROWNWORTH
This election year, with America closer
to electing a woman president than ever
before, the dismissiveand often derisive tone
with which Women's History Month is often
met feels more personal than ever.
Ted Cruz wants to spank Hillary Clinton,
like he does his 5-year-old daughter.
Bernie Sanders thinks Planned Parenthood
and the Human Rights Campaign are as
establishment as Wall Street and wants
to "take them on." Marco Rubio has cosponsored several bills in the Senate limiting
women's access to both contraception and
abortion. Donald Trump-well, where to
begin?-insinuated that Megyn Kelly was
having her period when she asked him
hard questions, and told Brande Roderick,
"Must be a pretty picture, you dropping to
your knees" in a boardroom. Jeb Bush gets
confused over which is which: President
Obama's older daughter, Malia, or Nobel
Peace Prize-winner Malala.
Yet Oscar-winner Susan Sarandon
doesn't think women should "vote with their
vaginas"-as she poses on a sofa in a low-cut
16
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
blouse at age 70. What year is it?
It might as well be 1872. That was the
year Victoria Woodhull (pictured above), a
leader in the women's suffrage movement,
became the first woman in America to run
for president.
On Election Day 1872,Woodhull couldn't
even vote for herself, because it would be
another 48 years before women would
get the right to vote. But as it happened,
Woodhull was in prison on obscenity charges
for publishing a news story about the affair
between Calvinist minister and abolitionist
Henry Ward Beecher and Elizabeth Tilton,
the wife of his mentor, Theodore Tilton, who
subsequently sued Beecher for adultery.
(Beecher's siblings include Harriet Beecher
Stowe, the author of Uncle Tom'sCabin,then
the best-selling book in the world.) Woodhull
published the story because Beecher
preached against "free love" and was also
the first president of the National Women's
Suffrage Association. Woodhull wanted to
expose his hypocrisy. But her news story was
deemed "obscene."
Running on the ticket of the Equal
Rights Party (a suffrage and abolitionist
party) Woodhull was nominated to run
against the incumbent, Ulysses S. Grant, a
Republican, and his Democratic opponent,
Horace Greeley. The Equal Rights Party
(previously the People's Party) had placed
noted abolitionist and freed slave Frederick
Douglass on the ticket with Woodhull.
Woodhull has been described in various
biographies as an iconoclast. She was
34 when she ran for president. She and
her youngest sister, Tennessee (they
were two of 10 children), were the first
women stockbrokers and founded the first
brokerage firm run by women, as well as the
first newspaper run by women, Woodhull &
Claflin's Weekly, in 1870. Woodhull's parents
were illiterate and she had only a few years'
schooling, but she was a prolific writer of
news and essays, and the newspaper was
devoted to political issues she was fervent
about, including feminism.
Our first woman presidential candidate
also advocated for "free love"-that is,
VIEWS/POLI
marriage and divorce on a woman's terms.
She fought for contraception and abortion
rights-the same issues that presidential
candidate Hillary Clinton fights for today.
Unsurprisingly,Woodhull did not fare well
at the polls, receiving not a single Electoral
College vote. No woman has gotten close
to the presidency until now, nearly 150 years
later. In 1984, Geraldine Ferraro was the first
major-party vice-presidential candidate,
running with Walter Mondale. They only won
a single state: Minnesota. In 2008, Alaska
Gov. Sarah Palin ran for vice president with
Sen. John McCain. They were far more
successful, winning 22 states.
The 2016 election raises the question
of whether a woman president could
end the war on women in America. The
current presidential race has underscored
the intensity of the sexism and gender
apartheid still rampant in America, while the
coverage of the race has resurrected every
sexist trope imaginable about a woman's
ability to lead.
And yet, there's no candidate in the
race better equipped to be president than
Hillary Clinton. Nor is there any candidate
who has addressed women's issues,either
in the campaign itself or in their career, like
Clinton has. From her days as Arkansas'
First Lady to her days as Secretary of State,
Clinton has been a tireless advocate for
women's rights, both at home and globally.
Her speech "Women's Rights Are Human
Rights"-at the 1995 United Nations Fourth
World Conference on Women in Beijingwas iconic. Vital, too, in her advocacy
for gender equality was Clinton's role in
creating the Justice Department's Office on
Violence Against Women. Clinton has also
made violence against women a major part
of the Clinton Foundation's Global Issues
campaigns, and has focused on the sex
trafficking of girls and women since her time
in the Senate.
Yet,like Woodhull before her-albeit nearly
150 yearsapart - Clinton has been dismissed
for her support of women's issues,as though
they are not mainstream or important. Yet
women are more than half the country.
Shouldn't our issues predominate?
On the GOP side, they do. But not in
a good way, as evidenced by the tack
the frontrunners in the presidential race
have taken on women's rights-especially
reproductive rights-and on the issues of
equal pay, sexual and domestic violence,
immigration, and LGBT rights. It has long
been true that women's rights battles and
those of LGBT persons have intersected.
In early January,the National LGBTQTask
Force filed an amicus brief in the case of
Whole Womens Health v. Cole, asking the
U.S. Supreme Court (SCOTUS) to "strike
down draconian restrictions on abortion
providers enacted by the State of Texas
in 2013." If these restrictions are upheld in
Texas,it would lead to the closing of all but
10 abortion clinics in the state. The brief
urges the court to carefully scrutinize the
state's rationale for the law, just as SCOTUS
THAT WE ARESTILL
FIGHTINGFOR BODILY
AUTONOMY NEARLYA
CENTURYANO A HALF
LATERSHOULD BE
SHOCKING- YET ISN'T
''
has done with other laws that infringe upon
fundamental freedoms.
"The movements for reproductive health,
rights, and justice are indispensable for
LGBTQ people. Our work, as repro and
LGBTQadvocates, is inseparable, as we are
working for the right to live our lives fully
and the right to choose how we use our
bodies," said Rea Carey, executive director
of the National LGBTQTask Force. 'A ruling
that favors discrimination under the guise
of 'women's health' would negatively impact
LGBTQpeople."
It's hard not to get angry with celebrities
who make statements like "I don't vote
with my vagina"-especially when every
GOP candidate for president, from the
frontrunners to the also-rans, have put
restricting reproductive rights on their
agenda. Also on their extremist agenda is
overturning the SCOTUS ruling on marriage
equality. What's more, the First Amendment
Defense Act (FADA)has been incorporated
into the Republican platform. That legislation
would allow people like the now-notorious
Kentucky clerk Kim Davis to violate the
law in adherence to their own political or
religious beliefs.
Woodhull and her sister had to publish
their own newspaper in order to get their
messages out. But in 2016, the news media
is just as restrictive about who gives voice
to issues directly related to women as it was
in 1872. A January report found that men
dominate the news coverage of women's
reproductive issues.
"When it comes to stories about abortion
and contraception, women's voices are
systematically stifled-as writers and as
sources," says Julie Burton, president of the
Women's Media Center. Burton notes, "In
articles about elections and reproductive
issues, men's voices prevail, especially
in coverage of presidential campaigns,
with male reporters telling 67 percent of
all presidential election stories related to
abortion and contraception."
Gloria Steinem, co-founder of the
Women's Media Center, notes, "Sincewomen
play a greater role in reproduction, it would
make sense for women to be the majority of
the sources and authorities in its coverage."
WMC research shows that female
journalists wrote just 37 percent of articles
about reproductive issues while their male
counterparts wrote 52 percent. Another 11
percent did not have bylines. Quotes from
men account for 41 percent of all quotes
in articles about reproductive issues, while
quotes from women account for just 33
percent.
Meanwhile, it's men who continue to
make the decisions about our vaginas and
uteruses,and it's imperative that we consider
this when we vote. EveryGOP candidate has
decried the alleged Planned Parenthood
videos-yet on Jan. 25, Texas Gov. Greg
Abbott released a statement on the monthslong investigation. Planned Parenthood was
cleared by the grand jury, but several antiabortion activists will be charged.
Attempts to restrict women's reproductive
rights continue. In late January, the U.S.
Supreme Court refused to allow a proposed
law in North Dakota that would have made
abortions illegal if a woman was more than
six weeks pregnant.
That so little has changed between
Woodhull, our first female presidential
candidate, and our current female candidate
speaksto how ingrained sexism is in America.
That we are still fighting for bodily autonomy
nearly a century and a half later should be
shocking-yet isn't.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
17
st
PROFILE
Henrietta Plihalova
>>Prague
Musicand Dance
She was born in Communist Czechoslovakia, when
political opposition was suppressed and freedom of
expression was routinely stifled. Poets had a hard time
walking down the street, never mind lesbians having a
safe space. Even though Henrietta Plihalova knew as early
as age 12 that she was attracted to other females, it was a
subject that was simply never discussed. Ever.
Fast-forward a few decades, and Plihalova'scountry has
undergone a night-and-day transformation. In what is now
the Czech Republic, the Communists have been defeated
(in a nonviolent transition of power called the Velvet
Revolution), a poet has become the first democratically
elected president in 41 years, and Plihalova, known far and
wide as DJ Henrietta, is now the organizer for the hottest
lesbian parties in Prague. This talented pro, who works the
turntables as easily as the microphones and mixers, says
she started organizing monthly lesbian dance parties a
few years ago.
"I had an aneurysm, and that's when the idea of lesbian
parties came to me," she says. "Right there on the table!"
Back then, Prague had one bar geared toward gay
women, but without enough sustained business, the venue closed. Plihalova says she just felt the need to create
some sort of a musical venue where the community could
feel safe. And so the DJstarted Freedom Night, a once-amonth dance extravaganza where lesbians from all over
the area come to meet and mingle in Prague (djhenriette.
cz). The parties, held on the third Friday of every month,
are themed, and the music rarely dies down before 5 a.m.
"I never knew it could get this big;' she says. "I really
was trying to make a party for some friends:'
Lest her laid-back personality fool you, Plihalova is
constantly on the move. She is a co-founder of Queer Eye,
an annual festival of music, art, exhibits, and workshops
that is open to people of all ages and backgrounds and
stresses alternative approaches to life. She's also the
PRbackbone for Cinema Q, a bimonthly showcase of
gay films. She does all this while running a brand-new
swanky restaurant right along the Vltava River in Prague.
Meantime, she soon hopes to get pregnant.
"I can do most things from my computer at home," she
says. "I'm not sure how I'll manage it, but I know I will:'
CURVE
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
By Sheryl Kay
18
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
MAR/APR
2016
ANDREA
CONSTAND,
ANOUT
LESBIAN
AND
former athlete who is now a massage therapist l1v1ngin
Toronto, Canada, filed a suit against B1IICosby in 2005,
claiming that he had drugged and raped her In 2004. That
case was not prosecuted. An arrest warrant was issued in
December and Cosby faces a first-degree felony charge for
allegedly drugging and raping Constand. If convicted, Cosby
could receive a five- to 10-year prison sentence.
•ANEW YORKCOUPLE
• AFTER
30 YEARS
claims In a lawsuit filed In
Brooklyn Supreme Court
that they were denied a
hotel room at Brooklyn's
Sleep Inn because they are
lesbians Loren Par1sella and
Elizabeth Prestano claim
that the hotel staff looked
at them with "repugnance
and disgust" when they
arrived at the hotel, then
lied about being fully
booked In order to keep
them from gettI ng a room
They left and then called
the hotel without 1dent1fy1ng
themselves and were told
that there were vacancies
together, Stacey Schuett
and Lesly Taboada-Hall
were married on June 19,
2013, as Taboada-Hall was
dying of uterine cancer She
passed away the next day
On June 26, 2013, the US
Su pre me Court struck down
the Defense of Marriage
Act, legal1z1ng samesex marriages across the
country
Schuett had stayed
home to raise the couple's
children while TaboadaHall had worked for FedEx
for 26 years, ent1tl1ng her
to a pension But because
Taboada-Hall died before
the Supreme Court ruling,
FedEx Is arguing that she
was legally unmarried at
the time of her death and
had no survIvIng spouse
entitled to her pension
The case has now gone to
court, with a federal d1str1ct
court ruling against FedEx's
motion to d1sm1ss the case
• AIRFORCE
MAJOR
Adrianna Vorderbruggen,
who was one of the first
openly gay service members
to publicly marry, was
among six American troops
killed by a su1c1de bomber
outside Bagram A1rf1eld In
Afghanistan
She Is survived
by her wife, Heather, and a
son, Jacob
By Sassafras
Lowrey
VIEWS/
LIPSTICK+DI
PS
Dear Beloved
Readers,
11 years. That's how long we've been doling out
advice here on the pages of Curve. Can you believe it?
From Lost Lover in Laramie to Closeted in Cleveland,
we've put pen to page as the bantering butch and
femme for over a decade-hoping to help guide and
also entertain you.
Today, we write from a different perspective
because we've recently made a difficult decision: one
we've been grappling with for a year. The time has
come for us to pack up our Lipstick & Dipstick advice
booth and move on to our next adventure.
Looking back, what an incredible journey it's been.
We have loved being a part of the Curve family with
all our lezzy beings.
With Curve, we've had a bounty of opportunities
and met so many wonderful people-both
those
connected with the magazine and, of course, you: our
beloved readers, who we will forever cherish.
We didn't do this alone-not by a long shot. There
are a number of key people who helped breathe life
into Lipstick & Dipstick, and who helped keep it alive.
Editorially, those include: Curve's lesbian-in-chief,
Merryn Johns, a wickedly smart force who has been
with us in the trenches and put up with us for years.
We thank you, Merryn. You've done a fantastic job with
the magazine and have been a shining ambassador for
us all! We also give enormous thanks to the one and
only Diane Anderson-Minshall, the amazing executive
editor at Curve from 2004 to 2010. After we conceived
our little androgynous baby, Diane invited us onto the
pages of the magazine and into the Curve family. Thank
you, Diane! You mentored us and taught us so much.
Beyond those two, we bow in gratitude to Curve's
founder, Frances Stevens, who we call "Daddy." We
also send endless thanks to our photographer, Maggie
Parker,and all the Curvettes who touched our lives over
the years.
Looking back, there are many milestones in our
rearview mirror: We wrote a book; we were on radio
and television talk shows and in dozens of podcasts;
we shot our own TV pilot (originally called Dyke Disaster
Zone) and spoke at countless events. Most significantly,
however, we answered hundreds of questions in the
pages of Curve, offering advice and encouragement
(and hopefully some laughs) to our community of
lesbian, bisexual, and questioning women (and a
few men). Over the years, we've made many friends,
and perhaps a few enemies, but, through it all, it's sure
been a rewarding ride. We hope you've enjoyed it, too.
Dear readers, we thank you from the bottom of
our butch and femme hearts-for reading, for asking
challenging questions, for engaging, for voting us your
favorite column, and for keeping us going all these
years. You are the reason it's so difficult to say goodbye.
Yours Truly Forever,
P.S. Please behave, take care, and keep in touch!
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
19
Looking Back,
Looking Ahead
Lipstick: Yes! I'll never forget celebrating in
our dressing rooms at Nike.
Dipstick: For me, some of the shiniest
memories were on the East Coast leg of our
book tour. You, me, and the road.
In which our beloved advice duo has the final word.
BY LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK
Lipstick: In our little roller skate rental car.
Dipstick: We read at my hometown
bookstore in front of my entire family and my
Dear Lipstick & Dipstick:
Before you go, leave us with a little something-if not a mix tape,
or a kiss on the mirror, how about your best memories as Curve's
very own Lip and Dip? - Team Curve
high school gym teacher! I also loved being
in NYC at the infamous-and now closed
- Oscar Wilde Bookstore in Greenwich
Village, and going to the Catskills, where, in
Woodstock, Lipstick took off her top and lit a
fake roach in its honor.
Dipstick: For me, some of my favorite
Dipstick: He was such a great sport!
Lipstick: I loved every minute of that trip,
highlights include emceeing San Francisco
Pride in 2008, shooting a TV show, speaking
Lipstick: It was a blast, and we never
Dip, especially the look on your face in
Northampton when you finally got to meet
on college and corporate campuses, and
being recognized in the strangest places-
could have pulled it off without
Suzanne Westenhoefer, who just
your lifelong crush, Rachel Maddow.
most memorably by a flight attendant on a
flight back from a speaking engagement.
happened to be in town the week
Dipstick: How many times do I have to tell
you, I just admire her journalistic brilliance!
Lipstick: If I had to pick one, my favorite
before our event. She was kind
enough to meet with us, help with our
shtick, and school us on delivering a
Lipstick: For this femme, the best part of our
memory was on National Coming Out
Day 2007. We hosted a big event at Nike
great joke.
book tour was the moment my love walked
into the room like a bolt of lightning on one
World Headquarters. We had the entire
Tiger Woods Center (a fancy venue on their
Dipstick: Suzanne was amazing I To
top it off, wasn't that the day our first
snowy, unexpected, electrifying night.
campus), where we got to put on a talk-style
comedy show and interview (and poke fun
shipment of books arrived from the
publisher? Lipstick & Dipstick's Essential
Dipstick: I can attest that the heat coming
off the two of you was enough to melt all the
at) Nike'sCEO, Mark Parker.
Guide to Lesbian Relationships.
snow off Whistler Mountain that evening.
20
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
VIEWS/
LIPSTICK+DI
PS
So happy you found your soul mate, Lip.
Lipstick: That was so fun, even though we
When we emceed San Francisco Pride,
totally ended up on the cutting room floor.
help lesbians thrive and manifest the life
remember who we got to introduce and
They were like, "Now, who are Lipstick and
they want and deserve.
hang out with backstage? Margaret Cho,
Dipstick?" Ha.
Gus Van Sant, Peter Paige, and Gavin
else. At that point, I felt a responsibility to
Dipstick: Here Lipstick goes with her New
Newsom, the mayor who defied federal
Dipstick: lndeedl But who cares, because
Age speak again I
law in 2004 and allowed same-sex
I got to meet Ilene Chaiken and the cast of
couples to marry.
The L Word that same trip to Palm Springs.
Lipstick: Zip it, Dip. You put on a tough
Lipstick: He is such a badassl Remember
Lipstick: You're a stud, Dipl What will you
started to really care for the women who
Fonz exterior, but you know it's true. We
when the headliner, Charo, didn't show?
Dipstick: How could I forget?
miss the most? For me, it's the readers and
wrote in-they sincerely needed advice,
the relationships. We'll miss working with
and we did our best to help as many as we
you, Team Curve! And I guess I'll miss the
could.
old butch.
Dipstick: OK, it's true. For years, aside from
Lipstick: Beloved readers, you will never
Dipstick: I'll miss the old femme, too.
what was published in Curve, we answered
people who came to see Charo, but got
Lipstick: D'awww-even though I fished for
thousands, believe it or not.
you instead. "Go entertain them for 10
it. One thing I won't miss about Dipstick is
minutes," we were told. This is when we
how she changes a flat tire.
understand the word "pressure" until
you're standing in front of 200,000
every single letter we got, which was in the
learned a very important lesson in public
Lipstick: It was quite an undertaking, but
so rewarding-especially
when we were
speaking: Have waaaaay more material
Dipstick: And I won't miss having to stop at
able to engage with the women behind
than you'll need. I think I told a dirty joke.
the outlet malls on the road.
some tragic letters. Part of why Dipstick
Lipstick: [cheeky smile] Nothing will ever
we are so authentically different-not
compare to those early years. Right, Dip?
on the outside, but also in how we think,
to go on all those lesbian cruises with
Dipstick: They were the best. We were
and how we came out. It couldn't have
been a better juxtaposition.
Something about a winklebeener.
Dipstick: Thinking back, some of my best
and I worked so well together is because
memories were on the open sea, getting
just
how we were raised, even our gay journeys
Sweet and Olivia. Nothing beats being
so embraced by the Curve family. So
trapped on a boat with 1,200 lesbians.
many times, we were invited down to San
Francisco events, traveled to gay prides with
Dipstick: And, we weren't each other's
Lipstick: Unless you're quarantined in
Curve, and formed enduring friendships
type, so that was a bonus. Contrary to
your stateroom, or sail into a hurricane.
with the amazing women who came and
urban dyke legend, Lipstick and I have
went at the magazine.
never been more than just friends.
Dipstick: Lip, I know you're not a huge fan
of cruising, but this butch loves it. While
Lipstick: I'll miss the laughter, too. It was
Lipstick: So, what's next for us? I'm going
you were seasick in your cabin, I was
endless, especially when wed do a photo
to finish my next novel-just wrapping
learning to boot-scoot across the deck,
shoot with Maggie, our stellar photographer.
and launching cannonballs in the pool
with two hot Canadians.
Lipstick: Didn't you bring your twin sister
keep working
Dipstick: They'd go on for hours, but Mags
screenplay. Currently, I'm on draft three. It
had great creative endurance and one
will be a film one day, but no wine until its
helluva sense of humor.
time. Beyond that, I'll continue twisting the
on that trip? Two Dipsticks. One boat. Oy
veyl The girls went crazy.
up the first draft now-and
on adapting my first one, Jukebox, into a
various creative irons I've got in the fire,
Lipstick: We couldn't have done our
which are always aplenty.
column without her!
Dipstick: Yup, Mary and I calmed a
nervous Kate McKinnon, who thought
Dipstick: I'm going to continue writing
Dipstick: And we learned so much.
the boat was going to sink in those big
Hurricane Rita waves.
for About.com and try to take advantage
of other opportunities that present
Lipstick: So much. Looking back, as
themselves, while I seek out new
Lipstick, I was much snarkier in the early
adventures with an
Lipstick: So cool to get to hang out
years. In the beginning, it was about
internet start-up.
with Kate again before she broke out on
entertainment and getting a laugh.
Saturday Night Live. Look at her now!
Somewhere along the way, I realized that
Dipstick: Remember when we first met
but a true extension of myself. This-
with us! Lipstick at
her at Dinah Shore in 2008? She was
coupled with a few heartbreaking emails
ginadaggett.com
Julie Goldman's sidekick when we were
we received-is when the whole "advice
and Dipstick at
interviewed for the "Celesbians" interviews.
columnist" thing morphed into something
kathybelge.com
Lipstick was not just a character Id created,
Please keep in touch
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
21
At the Curve booth, San Francisco Pride
Lip
~Dip
With Rachel Maddow at Northampton Pride
Candid snaps of gay times!
PHOTOS BY MAGGIE PARKER
Lip and Dip with Curve founder Franco Stevens
Lip and Dip's first photo shoot with Maggie Parker
22
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
Lip and Dip's Portland book launch
Dip and Lip on Q Live at NBC Studios, Portland
At NIKE headquarters
With Kate McKinnon on the Sweet cruise
Essentially Human
Melissa Etheridge on dreaming in red, her true love, and her new perspective.
BY TIFFANY CERIDWEN LOWANA
T
he first time I saw Melissa Etheridge on stage, she was
loved by everyone around her. Describing a childhood where both
lying down gyrating against her guitar, holding it like a
parents were problem drinkers, she remembers her home as "emo-
lover. Women teetered on shrill. Someone passed out.
tionless." Pointedly, she later says it is human emotion that drives her
My very straight sister looked at the throng of seething
dykes, then back at Melissa, and turned to me. "OK,"she said, "I get it."
music. Her friend Rosie O'Donnell enunciated in an interview a couple
of years ago, "Fame is the impending, glittering disaster."
Some 15 years later, that same unmistakable voice snakes its way
In 2004, when Melissa Etheridge was diagnosed with cancer,
down my phone line. But lately, a lot has changed for this rock deity:
what she really wanted was to get healthy and to be around for her
New album, new management, new wife. At 54, Etheridge has come
loved ones. She considered music a pure celebration. Cancer was
her self-titled debut album at 27 to her latest, This Is
an unexpected, upending "gift." She was now holding mirrors up to
ME. Her 12th studio release, This Is M.E. is her first collaborative al-
everything. She stopped eating meat. She publically declared what
full circle-from
bum and her first independent one. The collaborative effort does not
the World Health Organization had said in October last year, that pro-
change her songwriting-Etheridge
cessed meat is a carcinogen and it is highly probable that red meat
says it was the very thing that
pushed her creativity like nothing before. This Is M.E. signs off with
her wedding vows to Linda Wallem, the I'll-defy-you-not-to-be-moved
is a carcinogen.
In the mire that is chemotherapy, battered about by the treatments,
Etheridge lost her hair. Still bald, she did something that is trademark
"Who Are You Waiting For."
Sensuality saturates her body of work. Her lyrics speak to the thirst
Etheridge-at
the 47th Annual Grammy Awards, she strode out on
for sexual love in us all-"Don't you want to get that high? Don't you
stage and shared her searing version of "Piece of My Heart" by Janis
want to be satisfied?" And when that love splinters-"Does she know
Joplin. Who else could possibly pull this off? At one point in her gut-
just how to shock you? Electrify and roccckkk you?" You can almost
felt ode to Joplin, her vocal chords seem like an elastic artery, on the
hear incisors bared, claws unsheathed. In 1988, when Etheridge lit up
precipice of tearing. More than once, Etheridge has said that music
our collective consciousness, she wanted to be famous and to be
is like breathing. And she sings as though her very life depends on it.
24
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
I
What's your greatest memory from making your new album?
lin's "Whole Lotta Love." When I heard that sound, and when I heard
Oh, I just had the greatest time 'cause it was my first independent
the way he sang ... it kinda messed me up. I was 9, maybe 10.
album, so it was kind of a learning curve. I couldn't really blame the
record company for anything - I am the record companyl I learned
So how many breakups have inspiredyour songs?
more about budget, I learned more about... just how you do things,
(Laughs) Ha ha ha! All of them! Every single one. I would say thatthe
so that was fun. And the experience of working with Jerry Wonda was
songs that people know came from a certain time in my life - I bet I
one of my favorites. He was so great to me in the studio, such a great
could safely say that there's about (pause) five different relationships
musician, so much so that I asked him to join my band. Now he and a
that I've pretty much written everything about. (Laughs) Maybe sixl
couple of his musicians are my backing band.
What is your ultimate place to perform?
If today was your last 24 hours,what music would you listen to?
It's not so much geographical. It's about the people. People in different
(Laughs) Id probably listen to my own I It would be like listening to my
places have been amazing. I mean, I've had astounding shows in Syd-
life again, and I would probably say, "Hey, you know what? I did OK. I
ney. I've had amazing shows in Amsterdam, Montreal, New York City,
lived an interesting life."
Chicago. It's the audience.
What is it about Lindathat makes her the true love of your life?
Any advice you would give to your 27-year-oldself?
Awww! You know what? What makes her the true love of my life is that
Id say (in a nurturing voice), "Don't worry so much. It's gonna be OK.
she made me see that the true love of my life is myself. It was through
It's all gonna happen. Just take your time. Enjoy everything."
Linda that I learned how to love myself and be good to myself and be
healthy - to have a healthy relationship with myself. It was through
that that I could have a healthy relationship with Linda.
Do you dream in color?
Hmm. .. Do I dream in color? Wow... hmm ... I have memories where I
go - particularly - that was red. Yeah, I have memories of red.
When you sang your vows, was there a dry eye in the house?
Oh no, there wasn't, including minel That .. that was really special. She
I read that you completed your first album in just four days?
is really something.
Yeah, yeah, that was from necessity. The record company's president
When you started out, you said you just wanted to be famous. After cancer, you said everything was put into sharp perspective...
this." But that was necessity. I enjoy a little bit more time than that, but
Huh. Yeah. Because it changed my life, my outlook on life, everything
anything, cause I don't think that's good.
hated the record, so I went "OK, I have four days - I think I can do
I think about it. It changed my writing-it
I don't think it should take too long. I've never labored too hard over
just had to.
How did you feel when you got your "skin"tattoo?
Does the connection between cancer and meat surpriseyou?
Oh, I loved thatl That was my favorite tattoo, even though I can't see
Oh gosh, that's so clear to me now that I can't understand how any-
it and nobody can see it - it's at the back of my neck and it's in white,
one could think it wasn't. I'm very happy to hear that. . doctors are ac-
so it's kinda wasted as a tattool But the experience. I mean, it didn't
tually saying that now. I'm very happy about that.
take very long - it was like 10 minutes, maybe. But right back there
at the back of your neck there's a lot of nerve endings ... That was my
A thought you commonly have just before you go on stage?
favorite. I loved that experience. But no plans for more. I'm not like,
Before I go on stage, there's a routine, and it's very comforting. One of
"Mmm, morel"
the things I think before I go on stage is that this is one of my favorite moments - that moment before I go on. You know, the audience
Which musicianmakes you want to pick up your guitar?
knows that I'm about to come out and they're excited. I played too
Oh yeah. Oh gosh. It's pretty much anytime I hear music! I did a binge
many years in the bars, saying, "Hello, is this thing onr You know? I'm
listening of Jimi Hendrix the other day, and it was like, "Godl Give me
always, always looking forward to that moment.
my guitar!" I wanna find out how he gets those sounds. So, any kind of
guitar player makes me think like that.
Do you play favorites with your songsand lyrics?
(Laughs) Ha ha, do I play favorites with my songs and lyrics? Yeahl I
What'sthe most important ingredient in making it?
really believe that there's nothing wrong with having hit songs, and I
I would say drive, if that drive is just an understanding that this is a
will play the songs that people want to hear all day long. Every night,
journey. You never really get there. You just have to want to keep going
I'm playing "Bring Me Some Water" - you bet! And also "Like the Way
along the path. Otherwise, it's going to be really hard if you don't know
I Do." Cause everybody relates to it. It's the party and I love being the
that it just never stops.
party, you know?
What'sthe quirkiestthing about you?
And are those your favorites?
Ha hal That I'm not so quirky.
No, usually the newer ones are my favorites, just because they're the
newest songs!
And if you had to say what the main force behind your music is?
Humanness.
What was the first song that shookyou to your very core?
Ohhhhhh, like, really got to me? Umm ... Probably hearing Led Zeppe-
(melissaetheridge.com)
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
25
Sex&! Dating Advice
to _KeepYou Covered
A lesbian author helps queer girls to hatch.
BY YANA TALLON-HICKS
Aska.
~UeerChick
AGu.1de
• to·Sex L
' ove,and L
forGirls - ife
Whobig Girls
lindsa"I(· •
•
,_ ing-Miller
L
indsay King-Miller
came out to
her family in a moving vehicle
and doesn't recommend
it. The
28-year-old
author,
who came
out to her dad and her brother on their way
to a family gathering after she had graduated
from college, recounts her version of the
quintessential
queer experience in chapter 1
of her new book, Ask a Queer Chick: A Guide
to Sex, Love, and Life for Girls Who Dig Girls.
Though that particular
conversation
ended
well, with a casual "That's cool ... You got
your grandmother
a Christmas card, right?"
from her dad, King-Miller spins many more
of her own experiences
as a girl-who-digsgirls into teachable
moments for the next
generation. Based on her advice column in The
26
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
Hairpin, King-Miller's
relatable book covers
everything
from managing your straight-girl
crush ("Stop keeping your Saturday nights
free of plans in case she calls") to the real
realities of sex via scissoring ("To someone
who's tried scissoring without much success,
it sounds almost like a douchey
straightdude joke: 'What can two girls do, rub their
vaginas together?
Ha-ha! Up topl Hand me
another
Budweiser,
Chad!"').
Casual and
lighthearted
where it counts, but sincere and
straightforward
where it matters, Ask a Queer
Chick shines when it comes to dating advice
for those queer chicks just newly hatched.
Recently, Curve asked King-Miller
for her
opinion on the babyqueer basics every chick
should know before flying the coop.
REVIEWS/BO
What's your first piece of advice for
queer chicks looking to get down with
a woman for the first time ever?
Go where the queer people are. The
more that you're around them, the
more you'll develop a community and
a support system. When you're young
and coming out, you need queer friends
more than you need dates. First, find a
community, which, incidentally, will put
you in a better position to find dates.
community of bisexual activism that's
making it clear that "bi" isn't just a little
bit queer mixed with a little bit gay. It
has its own queer identity. We need to
understand that same-sex relationships
WHEN YOU RE
YOUNG ANO
COMING OUT
YOU NEED
QUEERFRIENDS
MORETHAN YOU
NEEDOATES
1
You stress the importance of talking
during, before, and after sex: What are
your tips for untangling when pussy's
got you tongue-tied?
Ha-ha! Once you start talking, it gets
easier. We first need to break down
the conditioning that we see in movie
sex scenes, where sex happens in
total silence and everyone seems to
instinctively know what the other person
wants. Start with simple questions, like
"Is this OK?" "Do you like this?" "What
do you want to do next?" It's not boring
or a buzzkill or not sexy. We need to
communicate about sex. And it's totally
sexy.
You offer a valuable redefinition of
bisexuality, one that doesn't hinge
on the assumption that there are only
two genders. Can you say more?
Robyn Ochs defines "bisexual" as
having the ability to be attracted to more
than one gender, and not necessarily to
the same degree, or at the same time.
So the definition I use in the book is
hardly unique to me - there's a growing
''
are just as valid for bisexual people as
they are for gay and lesbian people.
Another term you're not super into is
"gold star."
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I think it's so
silly to say that a lesbian who has never
had sex with a man is a better lesbian
than someone who has. Lots of people
take time to figure out their queer
identity, either because they're unsure or
because they've grown up somewhere
where it's unsafe to come out. None of
the reasons why people sleep with men
make them less good at being gay.
"Gold star" carries this implicit
judgment
of bisexuality that says
lesbianism is pure, and if you have sex
with a man you're tainted. "Gold star"
is also trans erasing in the way that it
equates genitals with gender - if you've
ever slept with someone with a penis
you're no longer a gold star lesbian,
which is really horrible to trans lesbians
and trans men.
OK, so: Don't come out in a moving
vehicle. What are some of your other
strategies for coming out?
It's important to plan it, don't just
wing it. It worked out fine for me, but
sometimes it doesn't. Choose a place
where you have some privacy, and the
time to talk about whatever comes up.
What if it doesn't go well? Have a place
to go. Have a self-care strategy. Make
sure to call a friend and let them know
your plan, so they can be available to
come pick you up or offer other support.
Now we know why King-Miller's first
piece of advice in Ask a Queer Chick is
"Thou shalt disclose thy orientation in
a stationary location, with at least one
functioning
exit." And to her young
LGBTQ readers, she's quick to add,
"Welcome to the beginning of your
incredible queer life!"
52 Waysto LoveYourBody
The Little VanillaBook:S&M Wisdomto
By Kimber Simpkins
Improve YourEverydayLife By Lux Alani
This magical little book by a
Alani is no S&M maven but she does
yoga instructor who went from
apply the time she spent in a dungeon
loathing her body to loving it,
to the bedroom. This vanilla crisis
is fun, practical, and effective.
What happens to your body
starts in your head. If you judge
counselor wishes to empower you by
S&M \\'isdom ·to lmpron· Your Ew:rydirl.1fc
l.uxt\lani
finding a balance between TLC and "a
spank in the right direction." If you're
yourself, you're less likely to be
on the milder side of wild you can still
healthy, more likely to overeat
"kink-think" your way to empowerment
and experience depression. Diets
via the self-confidence of a cowgirl, a
aren't a solution. Looking in the
dominatrix, or Xena, Warrior Princess.
mirror and liking what you see is
Curiosity and openness can enhance
a good place to start. Change is
your life's journey and your physical
possible no matter what your size.
place in this world.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
27
T
he busy co-author of Lesbian
Secrets for Men has
come out with her own book
that's all for women: Woman
Sex
on Fire: 9 Elements to Wake Up Your
Erotic Energy, Personal Power, and Sexual
This rich and enlightening
look into mastering your mind and body
is especially timely with the current war
on women's bodies and the ongoing
erasure of lesbian identity. We caught up
with Goddard, who is also a motivational
speaker, teacher and life coach, to probe
her mission a little more.
Intelligence.
28
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
How do you identify, and what is your
connection to the LGBT community?
I identify as queer and as polyamorous,
and I've been a mentor for young LGBTQ
people for decades and an advocate for
sexual plurality for the whole of my career.
Sexual freedom is very important to me.
How is your book relevant to lesbians,
bisexual, and queer women?
Woman On Fire is about all women
stepping into their own power through
focused work on their sexuality. It's about
how sexuality impacts us in our everyday
lives. We all need a sexual homecoming,
no matter what our experiences have
been. This book is about creating that
homecoming. I work with women of all
sexual orientations and backgrounds.
I think that lesbian, bisexual and queer
women are often attracted to work with
me as a teacher and coach because I am
a queer woman and they feel like I will
understand some of what they are going
through sexually and in their relationships.
That is not to say that one's sexuality
mentors need to be the same sexual
orientation, but there are many ways in
REV1Ews1S
which it helps. And I think LBQ women
feel good with me as a visibly out person
and advocate. Transgender women
sometimes show up as well, which I love.
Sexual confidence can be lacking in
young women who are coming out,
and also in older lesbians seeking new
relationships. Any advice?
Young women need education and
to build skills around how to negotiate,
how to advocate for themselves, how to
communicate, how to flirt or let someone
know they are attracted to them, and how
to ask for what they want. It's actually no
different for older women-most of them
need these things too, it just shows up
a little differently. We have to approach
sex as a skill-many skill sets are needed
to have a fully empowered erotic life and
healthy relationships. Most of us never
learn those skills, or even think about
them. It starts with identifying where you
are struggling and what you need help
with, and then seeking out resources to
help you.
idea of "lesbian bed death." We have to be
critical of the ideas that the media takes
and runs with, and seek out the sources of
those ideas, and whether they are credible,
especially when it comes to sexuality. The
issue here is about how a couple-any
couple-can maintain a healthy sexual life
in the midst of busy lives, stress, aging,
health concerns, having children and any
number of other things that get in the
way. Your sexuality will not put itself on
the front burner just because you stand in
front of the stove and hope. You have to
actually put some energy into your sexual
life, just like you would put energy into
anything else you care about.
How does a healthy sex life improve a
woman's personal power?
We know that when we are sexually
fulfilled it does impact our overall health
and wellbeing. We are less stressed, more
relaxed, more in balance, more energized,
more communicative, and able to stay
in a place of homeostasis, which affects
all sorts of internal chemical activities,
systems and organs. Your sexuality does
not have to look a certain way-it just
needs to feel good for you, and everything
else will be positively impacted. I actually
teach several courses on sex and money
because I believe there is such a strong
connection between these two very
important things. As the two biggest
ways we exchange energy, we tend to
run the same patterns around sex as we
do around money. So many of my clients
start to make more money as they work
with me on their sexuality. And I think the
reverse can happen too. Sexuality is at the
core of who we are, so of course it is going
to impact all aspects of our lives.
Some judging happens in the lesbian
community about polyamory, gender
expression, sexual fluidity, etc. How
can we be better about policing others'
sexual identities and behaviors?
I'm saddened by the sexual and gender
policing our community is doing, and it
needs to stop. For that to happen, we have
to care about it enough to learn more
about experiences that are different from
our own and to put ourselves in someone
else's shoes. There is so much judgment
and so many people who need to be right
that we aren't finding common ground on
big issues that do impact us and divide
us as a community. The truth is that we
are many communities with different
agendas. I think we are seeing a big
generational divide right now and we are
back to needing some focus on people
from different generations talking to
each other and really hearing each other.
The only place where I've actually seen
that happen is at the Michigan Womyn's
Music Festival... that was one of the only
spaces where people from very different
points of view were showing up in the
hard conversations with each other. We
tend to stay very separate, in our own little
bubbles of people who agree with us. It's
more courageous to go talk to the people
who have different ideas and beliefs. It's
not easy work. Coalition building and
intergenerational communication can be
challenging.
Lesbian Bed Death-does it exist or is it
a total myth?
Psychotherapist Suzanne lasenza wrote
some great pieces some years back
critiquing the largely media-propelled
Why might queer women need sexual
empowerment the most?
I think there is often this idea that people
in queer communities don't need sexual
empowerment because we deal with sex
and we have it figured out. Some people
do. One thing I mention in Woman on Fire
is that having a lot of sex-even having
a lot of satisfying sex-is not the same
as true sexual empowerment. Sexual
empowerment is vast. I broke it down into
nine elements in Woman on Fire so there
would be many access points for people
to do this work and exploration.
I hope it helps lots of women to
improve their lives and to step into their
personal power authentically. Sexual
empowerment has to be about the whole
person. If you are having great sex but
then you are yelling and screaming and
going into victim mode or physically
fighting with your partner, that's not
empowerment. Sex is really a small part of
it. Sexual empowerment has to be holistic
to stick.
The election lead-up has made a
battleground of women's bodies again.
Can personal sexual empowerment
give women more political control?
Our sexuality and gender have been
used to control, demean and discriminate
against us. I firmly believe that all systems
of violence are related to gender. You
can trace every type of violence back to
gender roles or some form of gendered
violence. Helping women to become
empowered agents of their own sexuality
is critical to women taking back our
rightful power in the world at large.
When a woman learns to be powerful
as a sexual person and to advocate for
herself in powerful ways sexually, she must
summon incredible courage. If she can
stand for herself in a sexual negotiation,
then she can do it with money, with
promotions, at work, in her community
and in politics. The problem is that most
women are not even aware of how they
give away their own power or what that
looks like. We have all been disempowered
as women-it's systemic. Yet each woman
must claim her own power.
No one else can do it for her. If she
needs help understanding how to do that,
then she's got to find the mentors who
can help her. If we all did that, we'd have
a changed world. A world full of women
who are in their full power would be an
unstoppable world, run by women with
women's concerns taking center stage
at last. I hope to see it in my lifetime.
(amyjogoddard.com) •
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
29
of'i~''"'""""
"An assured, breezy romantic comedy ...
,..FLACKS "'""TAYLOR
J
pitch pert ect.,, -San Francisco Chronicle
AMISl
"Flacks proves a sexy and magnetic leading lady
throughout this charming and romantic dramedy." - outtest
Smart, successful, and charming, Elsie is the perfect girlfriend. She also
happens to be a serial monogamist with a long history of broken hearts.
When Elsie breaks up with her long-standing girlfriend Robin to pursue
another woman, she faces her mother's disapproval, conflicting advice from
friends, and the nagging suspicion that she may have made a big mistake.
OFFICIAL
SELECTION)
OUTFEST
1
LOS
ANGELES
LGBT
FILM
FESTIVAL
{
'/ OFFICIAL
SELECTION
FRAMELINE
High Fidelity
for lesbians"
11
- AfterEllen.com
SAN
FRANCISCO
LGBT
FILM
FESTIVAL
~L..........
...:;;.---:---
The storyof one of the world's
most famous and controversial women
eJ
"The Girl King is a traditional epic ... What breaks the
mold is the character of Kristina." - La Presse
The epic story of Queen Kristina, an enigmatic, flamboyant woman
centuries ahead of her time who ascended the Swedish throne at age
six, was raised as a prince, and strived to bring peace and education to
her country- while pursuing an illicit romance with her female royal
attendant. In English.
"The Girl King is beautiful... the chemistry
between the two women is spot on."
-AfterEllen.com
,WINNER)~('
BESTACTRESS
(
MALINBUSKA
MONTREALWORLD
FILM FESTIVAL
?1~~N~~)~
MOSTPOPULAR
CANADIANFILM
MONTREALWORLD
FILM FESTIVAL
11
Featuring laughs, suspense, a deliriously good sex scene,
and a rousing finale, All About E has something for everyone.
11
- San FranciscoChronicle
When E,a beautiful and sexy DJ at Sydney's hottest nightclub,
stumbles on a stash of cash, she and her friend Matt are forced to run to
the outback and appeal to her lost love Trish to hide them. Can E keep
the money, conquer her demons, AND get the girl?
~~
FICIAL SELECTION
IL ameline39
•=~~•"""'·-~
OFFICIAL
SELECTION
~
Lo<;~T:J~~Es
~
=•rn~,:"°';;l.
~
11
A breath of fresh air
for lesbian cinema
11
- Gay News Network
Wolfe·
WolfeVideo.com/WolfeOnDemand.com
Yourtrusted community sourcefor LGBTmovies
an I just say it? We are sick and
tired of lesbian films where our
protagonists end up dead or
wind up returning to the Dark
(heterosexual) Side. Lesbian cinema has
made incredible strides over the past few
years to make sure our voices are heard
and the cliches about us go away. One
of these cliches is that we have no sense
of humor. But we crave laughter! Portrait
of a Serial Monogamist brings us "a good
laugh at ourselves and compassion for
ourselves," says lead actor Diane Flacks,
who portrays Elise Neufeld.
Portrait of a Serial Monogamist writer/
C
directors Christina Zeidler and John
Mitchell created a visual triumph from the
getgo when they made a pact to write
a film together. Zeidler recalls making
observations about the masses who
passed her by each day and can recall
them being "emotionally messed up."
Then, Zeidler and Mitchell made a pinky
swear one night in 2010 and Monogamist
was born. "We are excited to put forward a
lesbian film that no one has done before,"
says Zeidler. "It's a relationship foible and
it's refreshing. It has a great niche for the
queer community."
Portrait of a Serial Monogamist is
set in Toronto against a bustling and
thriving art scene where LGBTQ friendlies
can be found around any corner. It's a
welcoming portrayal of the Canadian
women's community.
Elise is known to hop around from
woman to woman, committing herself to
a relationship before another one ends
and, when it gets too serious, walking
out. Robyn, played by Carolyn Taylor, is
dumped by Elise in the opening scene
after a long-term-U-Hauling-it-together
relationship. Elise leaves the apartment
after cooking an illustrious break-up
dinner for Robyn, only to head to the
MAR/APR
2015
CURVE
31
local lesbian nightclub and drag show to
confront a new conquest.
"It shows the main character in a bad
place in the beginning, who ultimately
redeems herself in the end," says cowriter and director John Mitchell. "She's
not a bad person. She just does bad
things."
"There's a notion that the emotional
immaturity of Elise is charming and
likeable," says Zeidler. Nevertheless, Elise
is confronted by her pal who attempts
to show her strategies to overcome
her longing for attention from the
same sex, which manifests as serial
monogamy-the
constant
series of
dating commitments rather than having
a long-term relationship.
"I think we've all been a victim of serial
monogamy in some sense," says Flacks.
"I was always dumped so I can't really
identify with my character to that extent.
It was something I went through a lot in
my twenties."
When I was in my twenties I had
always thought my bouncing around,
continuously dating women, was the
norm. It was something I had noticed in
32
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
the lesbian community ever since coming
out when I was sixteen. My friends and
their friends constantly date around until
we are all everyone's ex. I had a revelation
when I watched this film. I was finally able
to put a label on what I was doing over a
decade ago. I was a serial monogamist.
And I bet a lot of you out there are as well.
"The title plays a joke on many lesbians,"
says Zeidler. "Some women, like yourself,
don't even realize what's happening."
Since its debut at the Inside Out LGBT
Film Fest in NYC, Portrait of a Serial
Monogamist has gained momentum on
the festival circuit. It has come so far
as to have Wolfe Distributions follow its
production all the way from its lndieGoGo
campaign to the festival circuit. Now, they
have offered the film-makers distribution
on DVD.
"Wolfe
followed
our
lndieGoGo
campaign from the very beginning," says
Mitchell. "They reached out to us, directly,
about distributing with them."
"This is fantastic," says Flacks. "It's like
a dream come true. I am so happy to
have Wolfe on our side. I'm thrilled when
something catches fire."
While this film is full of "chuckle out
loud" moments, it has a sincere essence
as well. While Elise sure has her shit to
work on throughout the film, we have
glimpses of her relationship with Robin
and pray like hell it all works out in the end.
Add the overbearing Jewish mother, the
quirky cat-loving ex, the best friend who
also happens to be an ex, and the buddy
that just wants to help Elise get over her
serial monogamy habit, and you have a
recipe for a seriously witty rom-com that
will turn that frown upside-down.
"It's a 'coming of middle-age' story,"
says Mitchell. "A lot of people don't
establish happiness until later on in life."
Flacks adds, "I'd like to think we have a
film that resembles the feel of a Woody
Allen picture," she says, before revealing
that, "the kissing scenes were my favorite
to do!"
If you get the opportunity
to
see Portrait of a Serial Monogamist on
the festival circuit, I wouldn't pass up
the opportunity to see it on the big
screen. But it's also available for purchase
through Wolfe, making a perfect night in.
(wolfevideo.com) •
REVIEWS/
Fl
HOT
FLICKS
))BYMALLORIEDERIGGI
HerStory.3tj cf,2y•rocJc,·~I~/
1
Due in large part to advocacy, we now see more
significant transgender characters and stories onscreen.
As this occurs, the biggest challenge is not to be overly
stereotyped or pigeonholed into a specific subset of
characters or storylines. That is the challenge that cocreators Jen Richards and Laura Zak embrace with their
new series, Her Story. The hour long, six-episode series
focuses specifically on the lives of LBTQ women and how
they intersect. Besides being the writers and creators of
the series, they also are the lead actors. Jen Richards is
one of the nation's leading transgender activists and has
been featured recently on El's/ am Cait, while Laura has
been the star of Tello Film's hit web series #Hashtag. Her
Story also features trans entrepreneur and actor Angelica
Ross and has brought on award-winning filmmaker
Sydney Freeland (Drunktown's Finest).
Jen and Laura first met in Chicago on the set for
#Hashtag, where Jen had been asked to play a minor
role on the show. Jen, who had limited exposure within
the lesbian community up tot that point, found herself
welcomed and developed new friendships that became
the genesis for Her Story. (It didn't hurt that Jen had a
little crush on Laura when they first met.) Much of Jen and
Laura'sfocus for this series was to develop trans characters
that have depth and relatable experiences. The title of Her
Story is based on the question that Jen often asked when
she saw these characters on TV: "What's her story?" Jen
and Laura wanted to introduce queer women characters
who exhibited humanity and reflected the binding ways in
which identity, sexuality and love intersect.
A storyline that has not received much attention
is that of the lesbian or queer-oriented trans woman.
Many assume that transgender women are straight.
This assumption is rooted in a lack of understanding of
what transgender is: gender, not sexuality. There are a lot
of transgender lesbians out there whose stories are yet
to be told: trans women in relationships with cisgender
women, as well as with other trans women. Her Story
has two storylines: one between a trans woman and a
cis woman (Jen and Laura respectively), another on a
straight relationship between a trans woman and a cis
man (Angelica and her co-star Christian Ochoa). Her Story
has received positive reviews and garnered the support
of Jill Soloway, award-winning creator of Transparent, as
well as award-winning actor Eddie Redmayne (The Danish
Girl). Her Story is one of a new wave of stories to be told
about LBTQ women, and one which mirrors the progress
and cognition of their everyday lives. (herstoryshow.com)
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
33
■
~ th&C/JJMl01;
~-
01leetv
GooiJJJueru
r(~
OREGON-BASED
WILDFANG
IS A SELF-DESCRIBED
FEMALE "BAND
OF THIEVES,"
RAIDING
MEN'S
CLOSETS FOR IDEAS AND TAKING THE BEST-FROM
CARDIGANS TO BLAZERS, BOWLERS TO BOWTIES-AND
DISPENSING THEM AMONG
TOMBOYS. THIS SPRING, THEY'VE GONE
STYLE-CONSCIOUS
FOR THE
COMFY AND COZY LOOK, WITH PLAID BLAZERS AND OVERALLS DESIGNED EXCLUSIVELY FOR WILDFANG BY
CAPULET. AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE CLASSIC, INDISPENSIBLE TOMBOY TEE AND CREW. FEEL AT HOME
IN YOUR BODY WITH WILDFANG'S TAILORED BUT UTILITARIAN SILHOUETTES, OR SNUGGLY SWEATS THAT
ARE ALSO FIT FOR THE STREETS. (WILDFANG.COM)
34
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
FEATURES/
STYLE
Full of
Guts Tee
$40
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
15
The TMBY
Crew $70
oRIGINAl.
NORTH
WES"T
The O.G.
North West
Crew $70
36
CUR
E
MAR/APR
2016
FEATURES/
MAR/APR
2016
STYLE
CURVE
7
■
CJJJw1wj
tJruP1f
~ ~~ ~
PHOTOS BY MICHELLE DAVIDSON SHAPIRO
MAKEUP BY MATHIEU VETERE
Butch, femme, genderqueer, trans-no matter how you identify, one thing is for sure: Buying underwear doesn't
always make you feel good or confident. And before you even examine the nature of the undies themselves, just
look at the way they're marketed: By impossibly tiny, feminine, usually white, straight-looking women.
Jeanna Kadlec, who describes herself as "a lingerie-obsessed, lesbian, feminist graduate student," had come
to assume that feminism and fashion-especially lingerie-were incompatible. Her friends agreed. They all felt
discomfort in stores and dissatisfaction with what was on offer from an industry that seemed to prey on women's
insecurities. In her research into what was already out there, Kadlec found that while genderqueer undies were
actually being designed and produced, there weren't many stores-online or shopfront-aimed at queer customers. She decided to create a safe space for those who felt excluded.
Founded last summer by Kadlec, who is based out of Massachusetts, Bluestockings Boutique is an alterna-
38
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
FEATURES/
ST
tive, ecofriendly lingerie and underthings website
aimed at the LGBTQIA+ community. Bluestockings' tagline is "Underthings for Everyone"-and it's
true! You can buy everything from boy briefs and
boxers to soft, lacy bras and cheeky knickers, and
in a wider range of sizes and styles.
Originally pursuing a doctorate in English Literature at Brandeis University, Kadlec left after four
years to pursue Bluestockings and other opportunities. She felt as strongly about producing original
and authentic imagery for her website as she did
about finding designers whose garments fit queer
and trans bodies and suited women of color. As
she organized a photo shoot that would embody
the intersectionality she was trying to serve, she
was guided by one principle: "Representation is
not an idea, it's a practice."
"When you don't see yourself represented, it's
harder to 'read' yourself into the picture," says
Kadlec. "I meet a lot of people who are ecstatic
about Bluestockings. I also meet a lot of people
who say, 'That's nice, but I don't care.' When you
look at the wide swaths of lingerie imagery pro-
■
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
duced to date, this response is completely unsurprising. It almost exclusively features straight,
cisgendered women. Why would people care?"
Kadlec's photo shoot makes the viewer sit up
and take notice: Here are people who aren't used
to feeling seen, and who the mainstream consistently refuses to acknowledge. The six Bluestockings models all volunteered for the shoot out of a
desire to see people like themselves represented,
and all of them identify as one or more of the letters in LGBTQIA.
"Our customers have been incredibly supportive of our mission, especially as they see us put
our money where our mouth is with a commitment to expanding our selection (e.g. plus sizes)
and consistently doing charitable donations and
bra drives. And everyone has been thrilled with the
lookbook-1 so hoped they would be. I felt strongly about producing our own original imagery as
quickly as was financially possible, especially since
this kind of imagery just isn't out there."
Here's to getting down to body-affirming basics,
and to building our fashion not on fantasy, but on
the bodies and the identities that we actually have.
(bluestockingsboutique.com)
40
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
INSMIEU[rilMNOA~TOHA
T
. .II. EORGAS
rl
~s;rot!f
BECS CRONSHAW S FOUNDER AND CEO OF
STRIKING A£ HETIC, DEDICATEDTO
PRO~
G HEALTHY,STRONG, AND FIT
FE.MALEBODIES. PRIORTO HER WORK AS
A PERSONALTRAINERAND BODY SCULPTING EXPERT,SHE WAS A LONG DISTANCE
RUNNER IN THE GREAT BRITAINTEAM. BECS'
GOAL IS TO EMPOWERWOMEN WITH
CONFIDENCE-AND TO HELP DRIVE THE
TREND AWAYFROM DIETING TO WELL-FUELLED,HAPPY,ATHLETIC WOMEN. BECS
DISCUSSES HER OWN TRANSFORMATION
AND HOW WEIGHT LIFTING PLAYEDA
LE
IN MAKING HER THE PERSONSH 1-STODAY.
You went from skinny and shy to a
confident figure model. How did that
happen?
I've always been a competitive woman.
What with a Sub-Three-Hour marathon
running father and pro cyclist brother,
it was more-or-less guaranteed I'd also
catch the sports bug! Indeed, as an adult
I soon had myself a spot on the Great British Running Team. However, with injury
after injury, I decided to leave the sport
and look for something else. Then I was introduced to weight lifting. As a shy, skinny
girl, this seemed a little out there and did
initially take me out of my comfort zone.
So, why weights?
Quite simply, I got into weights through
my partner at the time who was a personal trainer. I was persuaded to give it a go
and forget about the gender barrier. The
weight room was, and still is, a relatively
male-dominated area. But there is nothing as satisfying as seeing the response
when a woman lifts well in a gym-except
of course the satisfaction that comes with
feeling good about yourself and your
body. Weight training has given me, and
many others, a platform on which to break
down some of these barriers, and forge
the way for other women ... so that we can
all have the opportunity to develop in this
area and reap the benefits.
What has weight lifting done for you,
aside from the obvious?
Personally, weight training has given me
a completely different perspective on life.
It has given me a confidence and a belief
in myself that I never had before. It has
developed me into a person who is both
physically and mentally strong-someone
who is both comfortable in my own skin,
and proud of what I have built. This is why
I strongly promote weight lifting to my female clients. It has the potential to change
not just your body but your mind and perspective on life.
Based on your experience, what have
other women gotten out of weight
training or could expect to get out of it?
One of the big things that weight lifting
can do for women is given them a feeling
of being empowered; it helps them feel
strong and capable. Also, women's bodies
are designed to have curves, and that's
what having muscle allows you to create.
It allows you to sculpt your body as you
wish; now that is empowering! Not only
that, but you can be your own competition-there's always something to work
towards and to challenge you every single
week. You see your body change right in
front of your eyes. You start to see and appreciate your body for what it can do, as
well as how it looks. You feel like you have
more energy and you could take on the
world!
What does it take?
Hard work and drive! Your body is
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
43
something you work hard for, that no one
can ever take away from you. But it takes
real effort. There is no quick fix. I'd say,
like in the majority of sports, if you want
results; it takes dedication, change, and
repetition. However, unlike running, which
often requires long sessions if you wish
to see improvements, weights are more
about intense but short sessions. Thirty
minutes several times a week is more than
enough to get results.
Who do you most admire?
It is far easier for a man to get in shape
than a woman, so any woman who looks
after her body and is in shape deserves serious respect! I have always both liked and
admired athletic women. To me, it's very
attractive, not just in terms of the physical
aspect but also in terms of the mindset.
Having the commitment and drive that is
required are rare but important qualities.
The Russian gymnast Oksana Grishina has
one of the best bodies I think I have ever
seen, as does Erin Stern-a former track
athlete and Miss Olympia.
What's your ultimate goal?
It is my goal and my dream to help more
44
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
women realize their potential-to
find
themselves in a place where they can feel
confident and empowered! It changed
my life and I only hope that through my
work and words I can change others. Of
course, I want to win more awards, too!
So for someone wanting to give this a
go, what would you recommend as a
starting place?
First of all, it's about walking into that
gym room and congratulating yourself
on starting. It's not always easy to walk in
seeing the people who have already made
gains. Then, as a beginner you first need
to find an appropriate weight to lift and go
up in weight roughly every two weeks, if it
feels doable (with effort). Weight lifting is
about moving up, building muscle, burning calories, and losing fat. You should
also start with 10-12 reps of each exercise-any higher is just like doing endurance work and you may as well be on the
cross trainer. And remember to rest between exercises (say 60 seconds). Finally,
don't change your routine all the time; get
really good at the same few movements,
and focus on getting strong, lean and
more body confident.
What exercises should we be trying?
My preferred exercises for improving
specific aspects of the female body are:
• Seated shoulder press: Good for defined arms and shoulders
• Bent over row: Good for toning arms
and back
• Goblet squat: Good for everything!
Core, legs, and especially the bum
• Dumbbell dead lift: Good for everything!
Legs, hips, and the stomach
• Split squat: Good for legs, legs, legs!
Do you have any final words of advice?
Nothing in life worth having comes
easy. If something seems too good to
be true, that's probably because it is
(fad diets for example, which often lead
to weight rebound). If you want a body
that turns heads the moment you walk
into a room, then you'll need to embrace
the grind, understand that change takes
time and, above all, keep going. In the
end, you start to enjoy the process, not
just the result. You like how training hard
and eating well makes you feel. You like
how you look better than anyone else.
Best of all is the satisfaction of knowing
you earned it. (strikingaesthetic.com)
If you don't have an eating disorder or
a problem with your self-image, you're
Her beautiful size four mother, a chronic
dieter always unhappy with her reflection, in-
But Singer watches the film about juice
fasting and replaces her addiction to fatty
amongst a minority of American women.
According to statistics, around 90 percent
of women have attempted to control their
weight through dieting, and about $40 billion is spent yearly in America on diet-related
products. Perhaps lesbians and queer women are situated outside of this phenomenon,
if one is to believe the recent NIH study claiming that 75 percent of lesbians are obese.
For a real life lesbian encounter with weight
loss, identity, and how to develop a healthy
body image, read Jasmin Singer's compelling
and unflinchingly honest memoir, Always Too
Much and Never Enough (Berkley).Singer has
wrestled with a food addiction dating back to
her Jersey childhood. Her parents' divorce,
years of being bullied in high school, and a
date rape are among experiences that have
produced a "deeply buried sadness" that
she smothers with food, especially double
cheeseburgers, cheesesteaks, and pizzas.
troduces her chubby daughter to diets.
As an intelligent drama student, Singer
gives up meat and cultivates her image as
a young, queer, "decadent" vegan with numerous tattoos and an edgy fashion sense.
But she rationalizes her tendency to gorge
(she was 225 pounds and 54") by viewing it
as abundance; as a reward for hard work; almost as altruism-going vegan is not about
losing weight but about saving creatures, not
so much herself.
A turning point comes while at a vegetarian restaurant with friends who recommend
that Singer watch a film about the benefits of
juice fasting. She locks herself in the restaurant bathroom feeling ashamed and somewhat ambushed. And yet it is time to ask
herself, "Why do I feel like shit all the time? I
was young, vegan, and even had a master's
in health and healing. And yet, I was digging
myself an early grave."
foods with juice fasts, eating healthily, and
gradually exercising. Over time, she loses
100 pounds. She now feels "grounded and
healthy," and, with her wife Mariann-an animal rights lawyer-runs Our Hen House Inc.,
an animal welfare media nonprofit.
Looking back, Singer tells me, "When
I was fat I spent a lot of time and energy
bouncing back and forth between rationalizing my bad relationship with food by
shunning the mainstream negative view of
fatness and secretly feeling shame about
my eating and my body." She clarifies that
this is only her experience. And it's also clear
that Singer's memoir is not a diet book. It's a
book about reclaiming your body. Her transformation is visible, but the real change is
internal. Her emotional hunger has been replaced by satiety and self-acceptance. "True
health comes from finding abundance," she
writes, "both on your plate and in your life."
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
45
The body matters. Your body. Mine. The vagina matters, and the labia, and the clitoris. The
I DIDN'T NEED~ BOOK OF
INSTRUeTIONS. I LET MY BODY
RESPONDTO HER BODY,AND
THOUGH WE STUMBLED,OUR
FINGERSCLUMSY,OUR BODIES
UNUSEDTO THOSE DIFFERENT
RHYTHMS,WE KNEW.
soft skin of your inner thighs matters. I reach
you and you reach me at the same moment,
and we are mirrors of each other. I was with
men once (you never were) and I know that
kind of body: the hard thrust of it, the prickly
hair of it. You murmur one night in my ear that
I'm wrong, that I'd still love you even if your
spirit were transplanted into a male body, and
I murmur back, Of course I would, but how
could I kiss thin lips with their stubble without missing the soft full lips of you, woman?
How could I graze my nipple against a flat
hairy chest without longing for the way our
curves met each other? How could I gasp at
the sudden thrust of a penis without sighing
for the slow opening of warm petals that you
used to be? I need you to be a woman. Your
female body matters.
Back when I believed I loved men, I also
believed I didn't love sex. I thought of myself
as cold, disinterested, "a prude." Sex was a
tedious chore, a requirement; it was pleasurable enough, but not any more than I could
ment, we had not known sex at all.
Years before, in college, my friends and I
give myself.
Then at 28, still married to a man, I fell in
love with a woman. My best friend. It was
June, and we'd gone backpacking together
in Kluane National Park, a dramatic place of
mountains and great glacial rivers in the Yukon, and each morning in the tent found us
kissing, exploring, caressing-never crossing
into our husbands' territory, sex, but longing
to. When we met up with four girlfriends a
few days later for the annual Kluane Bike Relay, our secret smoldered in our gaze across
the campfire. The other women drank beer
and complained about their husbands: "He
always wants to have sex when I don't. .. It's
just an athletic event you have to endure." My
friend and I joined in the complaining, and
the tension between us hummed. That night,
alone in our tent again, our friends snoring
nearby, we finally crossed into that forbidden
territory, and discovered that, until that mo-
were sprawled across the couch and rug of
one girl's dorm room, discussing an acquaintance who had just come out as a lesbian.
"But what do they do together?" someone
finally asked, and we giggled. No one knew.
Maybe if someone in the room could have
imagined what girls could do without a penis,
I would have discovered my sexual orientation far earlier. But no one knew.
How naive that sounds to me now. In the
Yukon all those years ago, I didn't need a
book of instructions. I let my body respond
to her body, and though we stumbled, our
fingers clumsy, our bodies unused to those
different rhythms, we knew.
When I came out, my sister asked me, "But
how do you know you're lesbian, for sure?"
My body knows. My body vibrates to this
truth of who I am. My body recognizes the
metaphors the artists offer us for lesbian sex:
Artichokes (Jeanette Winterson); "Rose-wet
caves" (Adrienne Rich); Irises,lilies, pineapple
buds (Georgia O'Keefe). In words, these metaphors mean: her body is to be explored, a
secret hidden beneath layers, a beautiful
place to linger with fingertips and tongue.
The conservatives say that what we women do together is unnatural, but nothing has
ever been more natural than my fingertips
tracing your side and hip, my tongue seeking
the warmth and wetness of you, my breath
fast with your breath, the way we whisper
each other's names like prayers. You are the
only lesbian sex book I need.
When I met my wife two years ago, I had
just decided I would remain celibate for the
rest of my life. My partner (the friend from
the Yukon) had died three years before, and I
had been raising my little daughter alone. Attempting a relationship all over again seemed
too risky for both of us. I had concluded that
I was talented enough at self-pleasure, and
that, at 37, my sex life with another adult
was over. In the first few months I knew my
wife, I held her at arm's length, telling her I
just wanted to be friends. The rest was too
complicated. But it is the rest that translates
the soul. When I first kissed my wife, my body
hummed, Yes,and I discovered 37 is young,
still, and sex is one way we leave the temporal
world awhile.
Sex is raw. She pushes me onto the kitchen countertop where we prepared tacos just
two hours before for dinner. We lock ourselves in the bathroom and balance against
the sink while our daughter watches a cartoon movie. I straddle her on the couch while
outside in the dark night a storm brews.
Sex is gentle. We find each other in the
darkness in our bed after a long day of work.
We caress each other in the filtered sunlight
of an afternoon when our daughter is away at
a play date. We wake in the night, when one
of us has had a nightmare, and we caress
each other back to sleep.
Sex is curious. We murmur suggestions
to each other; we experiment. One date
night we stop at Fascinations to spend an
hour pushing buttons on purple vibrators,
handling blue glittery toys. We don't buy anything, but we come home and make passionate love.
Sex is connection. When we have spent
hours talking, soul-connected, my wife and I
gaze into each other's eyes while we touch
each other, when we both arch in orgasm,
and when, afterwards, we lie close, our soft
naked bodies warm against each other, sex
is holy. The body matters. Yours and mine.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
47
OUR Dl£txBILITIESHAVETAUGHT
US A LOT ABOUT HOW TO HAVE
A BODY.AND HOW TO HAVE
A COMPLICATEDBODYTHAT
WANTS COMPLICATEDTHINGS.
There is a myth among the nondisabled
that disabled people are not sexual. And
what's worse, we disabled people are fed
this myth too.
So it's not enough for me to say right out
loud that disabled people are sexual. I don't
mean to shock the uninitiated, but disabled
people are also romantic, sweet, hot, in
love, out of love, hungry, masochistic or sadistic, creative, communicative, desirous.
Some of us are even gay, queer, bi, lesbian,
you name it! We are not necessarily any of
these things because of, or in spite of, our
disabilities, but our disabilities have taught
us a lot about how to have a body. And how
to have a complicated body that wants
complicated things. We are alive, dynamic
beings, capable of complex feelings and
desires. It is possible for our desires to be
numerous, to shift, to change shape, for we
are also numerous, diverse, and changing.
In September of last year, I sent out a call
on social media for participants to com-
If you are born with an apparent disability, you might think that understanding
yourself as disabled is simple. But it's not.
For most of my life, though I could think of
myself as what Mia Mingus calls "descriptively disabled" (it was hard to deny the
cashew curve of my feet, the halted reach
behind or above my arms, the fact that I
couldn't weight-bear without orthopedic
braces and other assistive devices, or that
I didn't learn to walk until I was 3, and even
then it wasn't my favorite style of mobility), identifying with my disability with any
sense of pride was not anywhere near my
awareness. My sexuality became a point of
obsession and focus for me throughout my
adolescence. Over a decade later, I would
at last find people who were both disabled
and queer.
I asked my participants what came first
for them, identifying as queer or identifying
as disabled-and whether or not the one
informed the other.
Disability came before any kind of sexual
awakening, and the only way I can remember certain parts of my life is when
I use the awakening of my disability as
a checkpoint. I remember I was starting
a new school at my church and I was
crushing on a female friend who went
there. I never told her. - Chiara
plete a survey I created about queer (read
lesbian, bi, or queer people of complex
genders who love people of complex genders) sexuality among the disabled. I got
about 30 interested emails, and by the end
of it, nine people sent me answers. My participants identify not only as multiply disabled and multiply queer, but also as artists,
nerds, punks, dancers, geeks, mothers, sex
workers, poets, activists, feminists, daughters, siblings, lovers, and friends. I heard
from queer disabled people who identify
as fat, as gender nonconforming, as people
of color, as white, as Jewish, as the children
of immigrants, as mixed race. Their sexuality and their bodies are wrapped up in all
of this. I'm focusing on sex for this article,
but it's only a fraction of the pie. In parts or
whole, the pie is delicious.
Many of us lesbian or queer girls and
gender-unaffiliated
people understand
that there is a moment, in fact there are
usually several moments, when you come
out. What a lot of us don't grasp, though, is
that being disabled requires you to come
out tool Who is the first person you came
out to? I'm pretty sure the first person you
came out to was yourself. There are some
who exhibit such strong Sapphic tendencies at such a tender age that they elicit
the notice of others, but many of us had
to come out to ourselves before we could
come out to other people, and sometimes
those people were less than supportive:
My mom had a hard time when I came
out as bisexual. "What do you want... a
medal? Do you expect me to be proud of
this?"She's much better now. It sounds
silly (or maybe cliche) but Ellen DeGeneres helped with that. My mom always
thought Ellen DeGeneres was really
funny,and if she was that funny, how bad
could lesbians be? - Michele
I was disabled before I was gay, but knew
I was gay before I identified as disabled,
so it's complicated. - Sarah
You'd think that no one would have a
problem with a disabled person identifying
as disabled. But they do. Just as homophobic people think that it's choosing a sadder,
harder, or unnatural life path when someone comes out as queer, ableist people, no
matter how well-meaning, will try to tell us
that we shouldn't identify as disabled. That
we are "more than our disabilities," and that
we can make ourselves better if we just try
harder.
Being bi or queer was accepted far more
than being sick or disabled. - Cassandra
I was queer before I was disabled. I
actually first came out as a lesbian and
then realized my sexuality was much
more broad than that. I became disabled
later in life, and it was really hard for
me to accept and identify as disabled. I
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
49
WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING
CLOSE OR GOING DOWN, NONDISABLEDPEOPLECAN LEARN
A LOT FROM QUEER DISABLED
PEOPLE.OUR DISABLED-NESS
INFORMS OUR LE~ELOF
SELF-KNOWLEDGEAND BODY
A ARENESSDURING SEX. ~~
kept imagining, after the accident, that
someday I'd be all better, and it wasjust
a matter of physical therapy, etc. I've
accepted and embraced the identity now,
but other people still have a hard time
with it. - Jacqueline Mary
Amber, one of my participants, pointed
out that some disabled women, particularly those who grew up with disabilities
and might identify as queer, choose not to
come out, or choose to repress it, so as to
avoid further "other"ing themselves in society. When I was 20, I saw a sex ed presentation by the Empowered Fe Fes of Chicago,
an awesome education organization and
support network for disabled girls. One
of their mentors spoke to my young and
militantly queer self after the presentation,
telling me, "We have disabled kids coming
by all the time who are afraid to come out."
Despite society's limited conception of
our capabilities as queer disabled people,
we do what we want. And we have figured
out beautiful adaptive systems for getting what we want, on the individual and
community level, in truly sexy ways. In my
experience, the meeting of the level of
communication necessary to express dis-
50
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
ability-related access needs and the level
of communication found in many lesbian/
queer sexual interactions is a match made
at the heights of heaven.
I do find it's helpful though [when the
relationship is going to include sex] to
just sit with the person and talk about
things. Talkabout what you're both physically capable of, what you like, what you
don't like, etc., and when you do have
that honest conversation,there's way less
guessing, and the sex is more connected
and honest and open, and more fun.
-Michele
You might be thinking, OK, now that
the talking's over, let's get to the sex! And
some of us dol But what's really wonderful
and necessary about queer disabled sex
is that people have to be open to the idea
that things might not go as planned, even
when planning is so necessary. That's what
asking things like "Does this feel good? Is
this OK?" is all about, right? Adaptability
and consent.
All people, whether they identify as disabled or not, have access needs that they
should voice with their partners, and all
people, whether they're queer or not (or
just don't know it yet!), deserve great sex
and intimate experiences. In my own partnership, while I am usually bottoming, our
communication regarding access needs
informs what kinds of sexual activities we
will do and for how long. Who is going to be
on top? Who is going to hurt whom? Is it a
Neve Pillow Queen moment? Or does Daddy need it from his baby? Which arm can
we be propped up on this evening? Who
do we want to be to each other? What will
our bodies hold? All this negotiating and
scheming makes for much more creative
play, and much better sex.
When it comes to getting close or going
down, nondisabled people can learn a lot
from models created by queer disabled
people. Our disabled-ness informs our level of self-knowledge and body awareness
during sex.
My disabilitiesmainly mean that sometimes I'll have to suddenly stop. Because
of emotional trauma, some things will
trigger me during sex, and unless I've
come to strongly trust my partner, a part
of me stays on guard. If my blood sugar
drops, or if my asthma flares up, I'll have
to stop and take care of that.-Kira
My disabilities play a part in my sexuality. I fear and dislike being treated as if I
am going to break, so as a result I enjoy
rough sexual play. My disabilities affect
how I date, too. I actually find it easier
to have relations with several people at
once, instead of having the focus on any
one person. This prevents one person
from feeling like a constant caregiver and
allows more flexibility in scheduling fee/good time. - Cassandra
I've found that as a disabled person I
sometimes need more physical touch
than I did before I was disabled. I need
to feel really present in my body, and
grounded, and my partner's hand on my
back or a tight hug makes me feel not
only more connected to them but a/so to
myself, and to this body that sometimes
doesn't act how I expect. - Angie
Many of us are tempted to say, "Don't
worry about mel I'm not fragile! I'm just like
you! Don't be afraid of my disabled-ness!"
This is a complex issue. Some people literally are fragile, and will tell you so. I, personally, am not just like you. All disabled people
are different. We have our likes and our dislikes, and we have our desires and needs.
Some of us are kinky and poly, some of us
are demi-sexual or asexual, some are vanilla and monogamous, etc. Some of us are
too seldom asked what we want or what
we like.
People treat me like I'm asexual, made of
spun glass, or they seem to be intimidated by me. I really don't know what the
problem is. I think I'm fabulous and sexy.
- bi/lie rain
I very briefly dated a person who fetishized my disabled arm, and it freaked
me out. They were sexually turned on by
the fact that I was often dependent on
the kindness of others but still always
tried to do things myself. Like, "It's so
sexy how you're trying so hard to open
that wine bottle." - Jacqueline Mary
I am contacted by people who want to
"take care of me" and are very insecure
with themselves and need someone to
depend on them. They think, "Oh if I can
keep her dependent on me, then she'll
never leave me." Or I've met people who
like the attention they get as a result of
being with me, as if they deserve extra
kudos for dating someone in a wheelchair. - Michele
Sexuality is about more than just having
sex. Sexuality is a life force running through
our bodies. Sexuality is sensuality and embodied-ness. What blocks our access to
our own sexuality is not our disabilities but
societal ableism, which tells us that we are
not embodied, or that our embodiment is
not enough. Queer disabled people are
told that multiple aspects of our identities
make our embodiment and fulfillment unlikely.
One of the biggest things that hurts
queer disabled people is isolation, both
physically and in the form of a lack of access to knowledge and resources about
and for themselves. Even our intersecting
identities are isolated from one another.
Not all queer spaces are accessible or welcoming of disabled people, and not all disabled spaces are queer or queer-friendly.
Sometimes my disabled identity keeps
me at a distance from the queer community. Because smoking is so pervasive in
the queer community and tobacco triggers my asthma, sometimes I physically
can't be in queer spaces. - Kira
disabled people would not only be the interviewees of articles, the honored guests
at parties and award shows, but would also
star in our own feature length films on the
silver screen. I asked my participants what
kind of movie they would make starring a
disabled protagonist, and these were the
brilliant ideas they had:
Being the nerd that I am, I want a
disabled queer women of color Star Trek
very badly. I want to take every sci-fi/
fantasy fandom of mine and fill it with
disabled qwoc magic. - Chiara
I would like a documentary to be made
about me. About my many selves, about
performance art, and poetry and disability, and fluid sexuality, and sex work. I
would like it to be about many disabled
queer sex workers. I need more peeps
and a movie should be made about
all of us. - Amber
It would be a series of short scenes
depicting the subtle ways that the world
can be inaccessiblefor disabled people,
especially when their disabled identity
intersects with other disabled identities.
The protagonist would be black, working
class, femme, and questioning their
gender identity. - Kira
I am intersectional,but a lot of times
specific communities are not. The key is
intersectionality.- Michele
I'm looking for funding for my script, love
like a heart attack, about a mixed-race
queer survivor with PTSD. It's set in
Seattle. - bi/lie rain
A lot of us find the most intersectional
and accessible outlets and resources via
social media. It is the Internet that has kept
me grounded and connected to other disabled people. There are also IRL public and
shared spaces that queer disabled people
inhabit, and that we work to make as accessible to one another as possible. When
spaces cannot meet everyone's needs,
groups like Sins Invalid have innovated the
practice of regularly streaming live performances, and queer disabled activists
often Skype one another into meetings
when meeting in person isn't accessible.
All over the country and the world, events
are being put on by queer disabled people
fuelled with our unique experience and
creative expertise. We can help support
one another by staying in contact!
If I had my way, and maybe I will, queer
I am so grateful that I am both disabled
and queer. Being disabled has made me
a better lover and a better friend-more
open, more patient, and also more assertive-and
being queer has allowed
me to slowly let go of sexual standards
and stigmas about how my body should
look, how it should perform, and who it
should perform for. Being disabled and
queer has created its share of identity
crises, but it has also lit up my path gorgeously.
It has helped me find my way home
to people like the ones whose voices are
featured in this article. And there are so
many more of us; finding and seeking
space for our delightful bodies, having
great sex with cool people, or finding
other ways to get to know our bodies.
(sinsinvalid.org)
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
51
ATU
I FIND COMF
FROM NOTS
On how she identifies:
I have identified as queer for a while
now, though I previously identified and
lived as a lesbian, as well as a bisexual. Queer allows space for the various
non-0inary (an individual who identifies outside the gender binary of male
and female) and trans folks that I am
attracted to, who do not feel they fall
within the duality of bisexuality. A lot
of my straight male porn fans, on my
site NaughtyNatural.com, don't necessarily understand what 'queer' means,
but they've seen me in scenes with
cisgender (an individual who identifies
with the gender they were assigned at
birth) men and women, trans women,
and non-binary folks, so I think they get
the picture whether they know it or not.
On where home is:
The San Francisco Bay Area, Oakland!
I love it here so much. I'm a hippie at
heart and really appreciate the importance wellness takes on for most people
who live here, as well as the proximity
to nature. That's both for my personal
fulfillment as well as making the perfect backdrop for my photography! It's
definitely one of the things that sets my
site, NaughtyNatural.com, apart from a
lot of other porn sites. You really have
everything here from towering forests
to beautiful beaches. I have a very close
personal relationship with the natural
environment here, and lived for almost
a year basically outside in the woods in
Santa Cruz (a small town about an hour
south of Oakland) with no amenities. So
the forest was my literal home. I draw
a lot from that experience in my work.
On her current relationship status:
I'm pretty committed to being polyamorous, meaning I create relationship structures that allow for multiple
romantic relationships; multiple partnerships. So I have a partner here in
Oakland, and I'm also dating someone in New York. I feel pretty filled up
on relationships but I'm always open
to connecting with new people; that's
part of the beauty of polyamory to me.
It allows for possibilities of connecting,
and a greater breadth of experience
in life.
On how she defines 'feminist':
For me, there is the basic meaning
of feminist-that
you think patriarchy
(the system by which men subjugate
women) exists and is wrong and
should be fought against. And then
there is the secondary meaning, that
is much more open to interpretation and much more personal, which
is the 'how' to go about doing this:
Which aspects of society or behavior
are sexist or uphold patriarchy? For
me, being a feminist means prioritizing non-cisgender-men-meaning
women, trans and non-binary folksin art, writing, representation,
commerce even. I grew tired of modeling
and producing content for sites that
were owned by cisgender men, with
terrible politics around gender. I felt
they did not see the models as humans. On NaughtyNatural.com,
I try
to portray the models as real people
and give them platforms to express
themselves.
I try to get their input
as much as possible about how they
would like to be portrayed.
I think
self-representation
is huge for any
oppressed group.
On her book Unshaven: Modern
Women, Natural Bodies:
I stopped
shaving when I was
around 16 or so and came out as a
lesbian. From that time on, regardless
of the sexuality of the people I was
around, I found that very few women
shaved or removed their body hair.
It just became normal to me. I never
really thought about if I liked it or not
till I came to California and started
meeting porn performers who waxed
and shaved, and then I was like, "No
thanks!" Hair removal is tedious and
painful, but I also prefer having hair.
I think a lot about how fragile human
skin is, compared to furry animals, so
the more 'fur' I have, the safer I feel,
especially with my nudist lifestyle.
I find comfort to be sexy. For me,
comfort
comes from not shaving.
However, if someone else does feel
comfortable
removing
their
body
hair, I also find that sexy! It's all about
personal preferences.
(@xnikkisilverx)
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
53
Downward
Facing Dog
A lesbian wrestles with hot yoga-and a hot encounter. BYJOVE
BELLE
S
weat dripped down
my face and landed
on the mat beneath
me. By the time this
class was over, I
would be a wrung-out, overstretched
mess. The instructor-a
lithe, limber
twenty-something
with a strong, lean
core that matched every other part
of her-should
have issued a warning
at the start of class that all the fluids
inside my body would be on the
outside when we finished.
Hot Yoga. As if twisting my body
into poses straight out of Torture and
Torment for Dummies wasn't hellish
enough, someone
decided
it was
58
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
I
L
"I was acutely aware of the answering
pulse of excitement low in my belly,
along with the eruption of goose
bumps rising on my flesh:'
a good idea to add an extra thirty
degrees. Clearly, that person needed
to die. I'd get on that right after I killed
Sharon, my ex-best friend who had
convinced me this would be a fun,
relaxing weekend getaway.
Sharon, of course, moved smoothly
from pose to pose, looking as natural
7
_J
in these unnatural positions as the
instructor.
The two of them were
probably secret evil twins plotting my
imminent, muscle-melted demise.
"Shift your hips slightly forward."
Amber, the instructor, guided my body
into the position she wanted. She left
her hands in place-one
flat against
my lower back, the other high on the
outside of my leg-a beat or two longer
than was strictly necessary. She spoke
in a warm, inappropriately
seductive
tone. "There, how's that?"
Her voice, as lithe and limber as her
body, wound its way through my brain,
stifling my ability to think. God help
me, between the heat, her hands on
my body, and her voice in my ear, all I
could do was stammer out an inelegant
response. "Umm, yeah, sure. Better."
"Good." She gave my leg a little
squeeze before she stepped away to
guide the rest of the class into another
pose.
I shifted along with the group,
hyperaware of my movements and
of Amber as she made her way
between the rows. I watched closely
as she interacted with other students;
evaluating
the way she touched
them, the way she spoke. She was
perfunctory. Professional. Completely
dispassionate.
Clearly, I had hallucinated the sexual
overtures in Amber's contact with me.
The heat had affected me more than
I'd realized.
As we moved into downward facing
dog, Sharon caught my attention. She
smiled and winked and mouthed, "Holy
crapl"
We'd been friends since third grade,
when I punched Bobby McElroy square
in the nose for kicking dirt on her during
a heated game of tag. Blood ran down
his face and ruined the new shirt his
mom had bought especially for school
pictures that day. I was sent to the
principal's office and then home to my
mother. I missed the photo shoot that
year, and Bobby's pictures featured
him with swollen, purple bruising and
a splotchy red stain on the front of his
shirt.
Since then, we'd been inseparable.
If Sharon noted Amber's flirting, then
perhaps I wasn't losing my mind after
all. I returned her smile, and the heat of
a blush crept over my face. Or maybe it
was just the blood rushing to my head
because my ass was in the air and my
head was down near my calves.
Amber made her way back to me.
This time she didn't speak, but her
hand glided
sensuously
over my
backside. It wasn't the kind of grabass maneuver I'd learned to avoid
during the disastrous six weeks I spent
as a cocktail waitress at a hotel near
the airport. Rather, it was a flowing
movement of her hand over my body
that was so smooth. I couldn't tell the
exact moment it started or ended. I
was, however, acutely aware of the
answering pulse of excitement low in
my belly, along with the eruption of
goose bumps rising on my flesh.
She didn't linger, and as soon as I felt
her caress, it was gone. The rest of the
class continued in much the same way.
Amber led us through the remainder
of the poses, offering encouragement
and calming direction to the other
students, and returned to me time and
again until my body was on fire and I
completely forgot about my hatred of
all things yoga.
"Take a deep cleansing breath. Feel
the energy as it flows through your
body, and let yourself sink into the
floor beneath you." Amber stood at the
front of the room, guiding us through
the final position of her session:
corpse pose. It was the one asana that
I inherently understood since all that
was expected of me was to lay flat on
my back and breathe deeply.
"Rest here for a few moments, and
when you feel ready, gather yourself
and rise. Thank you for joining me for
sunrise yoga this morning. I hope to
see you all tomorrow as well," Amber
said, effectively dismissing the class
and me along with it.
I lay there, uncertain what to do next.
Clearly, standing was my first step, but
then what? Should I approach her and
pretend I was cool enough to be hit on
by hot, bendy chicks all the time? Or
run from the class and hide in my room
like the uncertain twelve-year-old boy I
was on the inside?
The other students rose one at a
time until the only people left in the
room were me, Sharon, and Amber.
Sharon finally stood, rolled up her
mat, and moved to stand over me. She
nudged my leg with her foot. "Get up."
I held out my hand and let her help
me to my feet. I still hadn't decided
what to do next, but standing up was
easy. As I collected my mat, Sharon
said something
about meeting me
outside. Then, in true best friend form,
she left.
Amber smiled at me, lopsided
and sexy, and said, "Just us, then."
Her voice held that same deep hint
of seduction, and any hope I had of
playing this cool dissolved into a
puddle at my feet.
"Uh ... yeah." I immediately wanted to
give Amber a copy of my CV to prove
that I was capable of engaging in
proper conversation and that, despite
evidence to the contrary, a large part
of my income was derived from this
very skill. "Looks like."
"You did great
today."
Amber
stepped closer until she was near
enough that the hairs on my arms
stood up, but not so close that our
bodies touched. "I have another class
in about ten minutes."
As proof, students started to file
into the room.
"Oh." So much for my rapidly
forming fantasy involving me, her, and
a modified rabbit pose.
"Will you meet me for drinks
tonight? In the lounger
She gave
me a smoldering
look, her head
tipped down slightly as she looked
up through her lashes and sucked her
bottom lip between her teeth.
I nodded
like a bobble-headed
version of myself. We agreed on a
time, and then, because the room
was full and the new students were
staring, I left.
Instead of murdering
Sharon, I
decided to reinstate her best-friend
status. Hot yoga, it turned out, wasn't
so bad after all.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
59
By Jove, She's
Got It Write!
It's a writer's life for prolific author Jove Belle.
BY ASTRID OHLETZ
makes me blissfully happy. I live with a
woman who still makes my heart do that
funny little racing pitter-patter, even after
20 years. We have a house full of kids and
pets and too many things on our family
calendar for me to keep track of. Who
knew that such a simple life could bring
such complex joy?
I
f you don't know the name Jove
Belle, you should go find out more
about her, because she's one of the
great writers in the lesbian fiction
genre. She writes plots that practically
turn the pages for you, and characters
that feel like the real people you'd could
encounter at work, at your child's school,
or in the pub. Jove has also written her
share of erotic lesbian romance, and has a
talent for finding the erotic in the everyday,
as you'll see in the story she wrote for this
issue, Downward Facing Dog, about an
erotic encounter at a women's yoga class.
She proves that yoga at daybreak can be
fun! We interviewed Jove about why she
writes, where she gets her inspiration, and
what she has coming out soon.
60
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
What would you like Curve readers to
know about you?
In addition to being an author, I am also
one of several regular contributors and
co-admins for the lesbian fiction-focused
blog Women and Words (womenwords.
org). Our goal is to provide a friendly, wellestablished, fun forum where authors
can connect with readers, and vice versa.
We feature guest bloggers, writing tips,
calls for submissions, and giveaways
(because who doesn't love a free book?).
Generally, there's new original content
every day. In fact, I'll send a Women and
Words refrigerator magnet to anyone who
mentions this interview in the Comment
section of my most recent blog entry.
For reals. Beyond writing, I live a life that
How did you become a writer?
For as long as I can remember, I knew
I'd write a book. Until about 10 years ago,
it was something that was more of an
ethereal concept than an actual possibility,
sort of an unofficial bucket list item. Then
a friend and co-worker brought in a copy
of a novel she'd written. It was printed on
regular office paper and stored in a threering binder. When I saw it, I realized that
writing wasn't something to do "in the
future." It was something I could do while
living my regular, everyday life. It was as if
my friend had handed me a permission
slip to do something I'd always wanted to
do. A switch flipped, and I wrote a book.
And another. And another.
What do you feel links the different
stories you write?
I'm a "slice of life" writer. Or, rather, I
strive to be. That means I try to get as
deep as I can inside my characters' heads
and experience life from their point of
view. My last novel, The Job, takes place
almost exclusively during the course of a
bank robbery gone astray. I like to explore
what makes bad guys do bad things and
then question if they're really all that bad.
And I like to take good guys and give
them some really bad habits. I like to
challenge the reader to see them beyond
the simple construct of good and bad.
1
I live with a woman who still 7
n1akes n1y heart do that funny
little racing pitter--patter, even
L
after 20 years.
_J
So, the common theme running through
all my stories is the often puzzling, always
fascinating human element.
where the next idea will originate, but
I've learned to watch for them and grab
hold when they appear.
What do you do to get yourself into the
mindset to write a novel?
This is a deceptive question. It seems
like an author wouldn't have to do anything
other than simply write. But it's never that
simple. Each writing project requires a
mental shift. I have to move myself into
the right headspace. And sadly, that often
involves staring at the wall for hours on
end, visualizing my characters as they
move from scene to scene throughout
the story.
What inspires you to write lesbian
fiction, versus just general fiction?
I can't imagine a world, or a book, that
doesn't involve lesbians. So, until lesbian
fiction becomes just general fiction, I'll
be writing lesbian fiction by default.
What sparked the idea for your
upcoming book, Cake?
Cake started life as a short story, actually.
Two friends invited me to contribute to
their anthology All You Can Eat, which,
coincidentally, made the Lambda Literary
Awards short list for 2015. Before I got
anywhere close to finishing, I realized that
I was writing a much bigger story. I love
these women and I just couldn't let them
go without exploring more of their world.
Where do you get your ideas? Are you
the kind of person to whom the muse
appears when you're in the middle of a
trip to the supermarket, or reading the
newspaper?
All of the above. A novel can start with
the simple spark of one word spoken
at the exact right moment when I'm
chatting with a friend. Or sometimes it
will float into my brain on a particularly
beautiful song lyric. Or maybe I'll be
driving and see something that reminds
me of the time ... Frankly, I never know
Which writers inspire you?
Oh, this is the type of question that is
impossible to pin down an answer for.
It changes with my mood. Right now, in
this exact moment, I'm inspired by, in no
particular order, Ann Patchett, Jae, Lee
Winter, Gill McKnight, Willa Cather, Cate
Culpepper, and J.K. Rowling.
What's your favorite novel of all time?
Same answer, in that it changes with
the moment. Today, the answer is 0
Pioneers' by Willa Cather.
What makes it a favorite?
O Pioneers! features characters who
are strong, independent women during
a time in history when women were
required to be strong, but independence
was damn close to impossible.
What's one piece of advice you give to
people trying out your novels for the
first time?
Wow, one piece of advice would be
to not read anything that requires one
piece of advice to successfully navigate
it. So, my advice would be more of the
no-advice variety. Simply read, hopefully
enjoy. Wash, rinse, repeat.
(jovebelle.com)
definitely need for this business. I also
Susie
character I play. There is no difference for
top-ranked
me. The love of my life, for this role, just
became very comfortable with my body by
junior tennis player who left the
happens to be a woman. I love to step into
acting on stage. Sports definitely translates
court and jumped almost straight into the
someone else's shoes and imagine what it
into the arts in some ways.
boardroom of one of the best television
would be like, from my earliest memories,
shows
D
ynamic
blond
Abromeit
was
actor
a
to be Pam: Why I am the way I am, why I
What is your relationship to your body?
Jones. In the show, Abromeit plays Pam,
made the choices I made, and why I chose
Would you describe it as a healthy one,
the personal assistant to and fiancee of
the partner I chose. All the influences in my
especially as a woman working in the
attorney Jeri Hogarth (Carrie-Anne Moss), a
life-why I came to work for Jeri, and how I
entertainment industry?
ruthless power lesbian. Even though she's
came to be-build
gorgeous to look at, Pam is not a typical
character Pam.
days where I certainly may have one too
to her partner. Abromeit gives Pam a
Did you have concerns about playing
fries, but for the most part I love my body
memorable, complex, and strong onscreen
gay?
to
and do things that nurture it. Our body
presence. As the first season progresses,
separate real life from reel life, and then
is our temple, and most of the time I do
we see Pam use her morally-guided good
there's industry typecasting.
of
this
year: Marvel's Jessica
an imagined life for the
I have a pretty awesome one. There are
many drinks or stuff my face full of french
femme, nor is she feminine and submissive
Audiences
seem
unable
healthy things for it. In turn, it provides me
sense, her physical strength, and, yes, her
Not at all. I don't usually play the same
feminine prowess (specifically, when she
character twice. I have played a wide
teases Jeri, then leaves her stiff-fingered
variety of roles: the tortured soul who is
with lots of energy and, above all, great
health.
late one night in the office). Season 1 ends
seeking redemption, the girl next door, the
What are your thoughts on playing a
with Pam locked up for murder. Fans of the
vixen, the siren, the killer, and now, a really
feminine woman in Jessica Jones?
series can soon learn the outcome of this
powerful LGBTcharacter. I can't wait to find
cliffhanger because Netflix has greenlit
out what's next.
I loved it! Learning to walk in those really
high heels was a trip, but I absolutely loved
being ultra feminine. I got to experience
season 2. Named one of Maxim's "Hot
10" of 2015, Abromeit chatted with Curve
Do you subscribe to a particular acting
about Pam's future, how she feels about
theory or philosophy?
more of my feminine side.
There's some discussion about
the
"playing gay," and how she believes loving
Warner Loughlin and Diana Castle are
your body is the best thing you can do for
two amazing teachers I have worked with
limited female roles in Hollywood lately,
yourself.
as acting coaches, and they are very much
while
about using your imagination. For the most
"badass" female characters, e.g. the
part, I feel that for me this is the best way
triangular dynamic between Pam, Jeri,
to go, but I have explored all the different
and Wendy.
Why did you take the part of Pam?
I initially read for the role of Jessica
Jones and fell in love with the project. It
on TV there seem to be more
I love the contrasting character of a role
theories of acting.
like Jessica Jones. It just doesn't get any
was so intelligently written that I made a
vision board of wanting to be involved with
You were a top-ranked junior tennis
better than her. We all wish we could have
the project. And then, six months later, I
player: Why did you decide to transition
those sarcastic, hilarious one-liners right
manifested Pam. I am beyond grateful for
from being an elite athlete to becoming
after we save the day by being able to fight
her.
an actor? What, if anything, is the
five guys, Ronda Rousey-style. Pam is just
a woman, at the end of the day, who wants
connection between the two, for you?
Do you have a personal connection to
I was always an artist as a little kid, and
to be loved by the person she loves most,
an athlete. I was pulled in both directions,
and she is willing to fight for that, pure and
I always have. The LGBT community is
but at the time I chose tennis, and it served
simple. I think the triangular dynamic just
close to my heart and, growing up, I had a
me well. Then I received a scholarship to
puts a new, fresh spin on an old theme that
few close friends who came out to me.
Duke University for my tennis and it was
has happened time and time again in life
there that I got a chance to focus on the
and in movies. The powerful businessman
On the website gay-or-straight.com,
arts. From there, I realized that I wanted to
having an affair with his secretary, leaving
you're rated as "73% gay"-would
be an actor full time.
the LGBTcommunity?
you
his current wife; it's an old story. But now
care to adjust that at all?
the powerful businessman happens to be
I would notl I think it's awesome and
feel like I did my job right. I'm proud of that
rating.
How are being an athlete and an actor
The connection
for both
is that
I
experienced what it takes to be great by
How did you approach playing a lesbian?
The
same
way
I approach
every
a powerful businesswoman.
similar?
Any word on your part in season 2?
I have no ideal All I can say is #FreePam.
having discipline, focus, determination,
and a tough hide. Those are things you
Watch JessicaJones on netflix.com
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
63
ST
FEATURES/COVER
IERCE FEMME KAREN AKUNOWICZCAME INTO THE KITCHENOF THE HIT
BRAVOTV SHOW TOP CHEF WITH KNIVESBLAZINGAND PINKHAIRON FLEEK.
AKUNOWICZ,THE EXECUTIVE
CHEF (AND A FULL PARTNER)
AT MYERS+CHANG
IN BOSTON,WAS A 2015 JAMES BEARDAWARDNOMINEEFOR "BESTCHEF
NORTHEAST."
BORN IN NEW JERSEYAND LIVINGOUTSIDEBOSTONIN LESBO-CENTRIC
JAMAICAPLAIN(OR "JP"TO LOCALS)WITH HERWIFE,LJ JOHNSON,AKUNOWICZTURNED
DOWNTHE INITIALOFFERTO BECOMEA "CHEFTESTANT"
AND WAITEDUNTILSHE FELT
"STRONGENOUGHASA CHEF"TO OFFERUPHERABSOLUTE
BEST.
ON THESHOW,WHICHIS
IN ITS13THSESON,AKUNOWICZ'S
EXPERTISE
IN THEKITCHEN
AND HERDEEPLY
CULTIVATED
SKILLS(SHESTUDIED
ATTHECAMBRIDGE
SCHOOLOFCULINARY
ARTS),
AREMATCHED
BYHER
MENTALTOUGHNESS
ANDDETERMINATION
TOWIN.CONFIDENCE
ISA KEYINGREDENT,AND
ONETHATSHECARRIES
WITHHERBOTHPROFESSIONALLY
ANDPERSONALLY.
SHEBELIEVES
THATFOODIS NOTTHE ENEMY;IN FACT,ITS THE BESTWAY-WHENFRESHLY
MADE-TO A
WOMAN'SHEART.AS FOR BODY IMAGE,"I AM A TOTALBABE,"SHE SAYSWITH TOTAL
CONFIDENCE.
"SOAREYOU."WE'LLTAKEA SIDEOFTHAT,PLEASE!
What is the most stressful part of competing on Top Chef?
I think the most stressful part-outside
of cooking in the
desert with only a stove powered by the sun, in 20 minutes-is
not having your support system and community, the folks who
hold you up and keep you going in your life. It became clear to
me how much I rely on my core support system, especially my
spouse, my sister, my family and the group of strong women
in my life who inspire me, drive me, and keep me laughing.
When do contestants sleep? Do you sleep in bunk beds? Do
you pull pranks on each other?
Ha! We didn't sleep very much, truth be told. We were
traveling
all over California,
so we were in hotels most
of the time. We each had a roommate-no
bunk beds
(unfortunately?)-and
there were a few jokes and pranks,
but mostly lots of talking and sleeping.
What made you ready, this season, to compete in Top Chef,
one of the toughest reality TV competitions out there?
This season, I felt strong enough as a chef and as a
person to compete on the show. I was so supported by my wife LJ,
who really encouraged me to try out, that I almost felt I had
to give it a shot. Also, my restaurant was at a place where we
had really strong cooks and two strong sous chefs. When my
partners Christopher [Myers] and Joanne [Chang] discussed
it, we thought it was worth it. If I hadn't had their full support,
I would not have wanted to do it. They have been my biggest
supporters. I was in a good place personally and professionally, where I could look at it as an experience and not a necessity.
I also know that far fewer women audition than men. I wanted to be part of making sure that young women and girls keep
seeing strong women on TV and in the culinary field.
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
65
IAMATOTAL
BABE.
SOARE
YOU.
AND
YOU.
WEALL
ARE,
AND
ALL
OFOUR
BODIES
ARE
FUCKING
MAGICAL,
BEAUTIFUL
WONDERS.
#EFFYOURBEAUTYSTANDAR
How did you feel about having your relationship made very
public in the first episode?
It was such a surprising moment for me-and so amazing.
was very intent on being out on the show. My spouse and I talked
about it beforehand and agreed that even though our life and
relationship is very personal, we wanted to make sure that I was
never hiding who I was. Being queer and femme are as much a
part of my identity as being a chef. I have never been happier or
prouder in my life to marry the person I love, and being able to
share that with people all over the country was scary but very
powerful. I grew up thinking I could never legally marry the per-
Commercial kitchens have not always been tolerant of
feminine-identified women. Have you encountered much
sexism in the kitchen?
I always tried to put my head down and work twice as hard
as everyone else; to not pay attention to anything else. When I
first started cooking, I was often one of the only women in the
kitchen. I am not offended easily, but I knew that I ignored more
than I should have. I spoke up more than I am sure some people
would have liked. I remember asking for help from a friend and
co-worker with something I didn't know how to do, and he responded, "Chainsaw [her nickname], I guess you need a man for
son I love, and to have that change, not only in Massachusetts
something, huh?" I was furious, and I told him how I felt. Another
but on a federal level, was a monumental occasion.
female cook told me that at one point she never thought I would
I think about young queer people all over the country and hope
last in the kitchen, because I wore mascara on my first day. I re-
that more and more they are seeing themselves represented in
member thinking, "Really? What the fuck does that have to do
the media as much as possible. To see our community on televi-
with my skills, or my work ethic, or my determination?"
sion, and in all shapes, sizes, colors, and gender presentations, is
radical and important.
In your own kitchen at home, what is the one ingredient you
never are without?
Salt. Always. Even if you have nothing but an avocado in your
kitchen, you can elevate it and make it shine with a few grains
of salt.
What is the best meal to woo a woman?
Fresh pasta, hands down. Make it together and it is even better.
Taking a few simple ingredients like eggs and flour and turning
them into something as luscious as pasta is really sensual and
feels almost like magic. Nothing feels quite as good as kneading
pasta dough. Well, almost nothing.
66
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
Do you think femmes face discrimination within the queer
community?
I think things are really different now than when I was younger. Now I have a community of badass femme friends, as well
as people who love and support and value the femmes in their
lives. In Boston, we have The Femme Show, a collaboration of
queer femme performers and writers who put on a variety show
of sexy, smart, brazen performances every year. I also know that
I choose to live and work in communities of like-minded people,
in the liberal state of Massachusetts. It wasn't always this way for
me, though.
I can remember always being assumed straight, and feeling
invisible in the gay community-even
if I was out at a club or a
party. I was teased for carrying a purse, or wearing lipstick. I dat-
FEATURES/COVER
MAR/APR
2016
ST
CURVE
67
ed a girl who, in private, loved my lacy bras, but would mock me
for being so "dressed up" when we went out. And going out on
dates with people who assumed I had never dated female-bodied people before. Femme invisibility is real and prevalent in so
many ways.
You're not the only queer woman on the show: What's it like
sharing the kitchen with Frances Tariga-Weshnak?
I think Frances was surprised to find out that I was gay-I
al-
ways assume the pink hair is an indicator! Frances is a great chef,
as well as being funny, stylish, and kind. I liked her a lot, and wish
we had gotten to spend more time together!
What is your relationship with your body?
I am not skinny, but I am healthy and strong. I love wine and
food. It has taken me so long to be at peace with my body. We
have spent many years at war with each other. I have gained and
lost weight. I have been many different sizes. I feel better in my
skin now than I did in my 20s. I know I feel the best when I am
exercising, boxing, lifting weights. I feel the best when I am not
eating dairy. I love my butt. Seriously.
68
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
IWAS
TEASED
FOR
CARRYING
APURSE
OR I
WEARING
LIPSTICK.
FEMME
INVISIBILITY
IS
REAL
AND
PREVALENT
INSOMANY
WAYS
I
I
FEATURES/COVER
Your advice to queer women who want a healthy relationship
with food, and a healthy body image?
I think that a healthy relationship with food comes from listening to what your body needs and what makes it feel good
and bad. What gives you the most energy to get through the
day? What keeps your mood up and your spirits high? Eat green
things. Drink more water than imaginable. But for goodness'
sake, don't forget to drink the wine, eat the pasta with truffles,
order dessert. Don't miss out on the beautiful things in life.
The body positive movement going on right now is giving life
to so many people. Myself included. Tess Holiday, Mary Lambert, Nicolette Mason, Gabi Gregg [aka GabiFresh], and so many
more are sexy and talented as hell and changing the face of
who we see in the media. I bought my first crop top at a Mary
Lambert show! Who says you can't wear a bikini, or a pencil skirt,
or a tank top if you are not a size 2? It's important that we all
have role models and women to look up to who make us feel
empowered just as we are. So when someone in Boston asked
me if I really wanted to bare my upper arms on television while
filming Top Chef, I made a conscious decision to do so, for
every girl and woman who fears baring her upper arms. Side
note: I wonder if any of the gentlemen
ST
on the show got asked
that question. I am a total babe. So are you. And you. We all are,
and all of our bodies are fucking
magical, beautiful
wonders.
#effyou rbea utysta nda rds
Farm to Table, NosetoTail-whatfood
movement, if any,doyou
subscribe to?
I focus on sourcing fresh, beautiful ingredients, and giving
you either fun or innovative takes on classic dishes. I am inspired by Taiwanese soul food and Southeast [Asian] street
food. I want my food to be crave-able and addictive.
What is your cooking philosophy, and how will your new
restaurant incorporate that philosophy, both in the kitchen
and on the menu?
"Cook the food you want to eat." Sometimes I come up with
new dishes just based on what I want to eat, or am missing on
the menu. If you know anything about me-our new restaurant
[with Joanne Chang and Christopher Myers] will be fun, sexy,
and full of bold flavors, from the Far East to the Middle East.
(bravotv.com)
•
SOAKING
~f
Sf~fNill
Buddhist wisdom and ancient cities
come alive aboard a river cruise
through central Myanmar.
hen it comes to alternative approaches to health and
wellness, many Americans look to the East. Ayurvedic
medicine, yoga, Reiki, and acupuncture each have
Asian origins, some rooted in Buddhist, Hindu, and Jain
traditions. They offer a welcome alternative to Western medical
treatments, especially for those seeking to prevent illness,
reduce stress, and maintain physiological balance.
W
"Wellness travel" is an emerging category in trip planning. Naturally,
many turn to dedicated tour companies or health retreats to dive
deep into personal healing. But not everyone wants to take Elizabeth
Gilbert's Eat Pray Love approach, devoting weeks or even months to
practicing meditation in an ashram or at a full-throttle wellness resort.
Instead, many travelers enjoy the option of a well-rounded vacation
with some healthful choices tied in. Even better if the trip stirs up
positive energy, takes you someplace enthralling or exotic, and
does what great travel should do: inspire, delight, and broaden your
perspective.
On a river cruise through Myanmar aboard the Road to Mandalay, I
got to enjoy that sort of magnificent journey. Traveling on this shipwhich, despite its name, plies the water, not the roads-is one of
LGBT-friendly Belmond's journey packages. Like its sister vessel, the
Orcae//a, the Road to Mandalay cruises along the Ayeyarwady River
between Mandalay and the ancient city of Bagan, over as many as
eight or as few as three days. (The Orcael/a offers longer trips.)
Commonly known by its pre-1989 moniker, Burma, the nation of
Myanmar is today a burgeoning tourist destination, thanks to some
positive political and economic changes in the recent past. Its capital
city, Yangon (formerly called Rangoon), is undergoing a major 21stcentury transformation, spurring much-needed improvements to
highways and other infrastructure countrywide.
Like me, many travelers are eager to explore Myanmar while it's
still largely untouched by throngs of tourists. Ironically, however, I was
aboard a ship that's been cruising the Ayeyarwady since 1996, with
a devoted crew whose long-term expertise pre-dates the political
evolutions of late. That gives the Road to Mandalay team special
70
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
1
TRA
FEATURES/
PO\[)
10
MANDALAY
TRAVELIS JUST
ABOUT THE BEST
WAYTO SHAl<E
OFF EVERYDAY
STRESSAND
RETURNTO A
SOULFUL PLACE
OF INTIMACYAND
INTROSPECTION.
''
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
71
ties to villages and tourist sites, as well as a loyal, communityminded approach concerning its local impact.
Belmond, an adventure travel operator that values
sustainability and a strong local presence, has helped to build
21 schools where more than 3,000 students take classes. It also
operates a free health clinic in Bagan, as well as helping villagers
when they most need it, especially in the wake of natural
disasters like the devastating 2008 Cyclone Nargis.
As part of the Road to Mandalay's itinerary, guides lead
excursions ashore to visit tiny towns and picturesque templeslike Mingun's massive, bright-white Myatheindan Pagoda, and
the village of Shwe Kyet Yet, where the day begins by giving
alms to Buddhist monks from the town monastery.
Plenty of good vibes come from traveling with a company
practicing responsible ethics. This positive attitude is reflected
by the ship's pleasant and accommodating staff. On board,
there are many forms of restorative living to enjoy.
The 300-foot-long, four-deck ship is outfitted with an
observation-deck pool, and lounge areas where I could
practically feel the stress melting away. On the boat's lower level,
the spa offers massage and other therapeutic treatments-and
Belmond is planning to further enhance its offerings later this
year.
The ship's fitness center may be compact, but it's a great
place to hit the treadmill while gazing out on the riverbanks
72
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
beyond. There's also a salon for coiffure perks and quality manipedi pampering. Though the cruise offers changing dining menus
each day, I was glad to find plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables at
every meal-as well as an afternoon cooking lesson to get more
familiar with traditional Myanmar ingredients and dishes.
Each morning, I was able to join yoga, meditation, and tai-chi
classes in the ship's indoor communal space, though they are
offered on the upper deck and in special locations ashore on
occasion. This summer, Belmond plans to up its game by hosting
yoga expert Nadia Narain on board from August 24-31, as part of
a guest-speaker program celebrating the ship's 20th anniversary.
Narain will host "yoga mornings" as the sun rises and meditation
classes as it sets, with all experience levels welcome. She'll also
help guests with "de-stress" techniques (one of her specialties),
encouraging them to make the most of their Myanmar adventure
by switching off the demands of their everyday lives.
It's true that travel is just about the best way to shake off stress
and return to a soulful place of intimacy and introspection. But
for me, Myanmar offered an especially soothing quality, possibly
because it lies along one of the seven "earth chakra" strands,
where spiritual energy supposedly flows with ease.
Exploring this region and gliding along the river, past fields
and forests with gilded temples peeking above the tree line, it felt
magically restorative to pursue my own serenity. But in the end, I
think it was the serenity that found me. (belmond.com)
Plan your
2016
vacation now!
■
■
■
■
■
■
SingleWomen's
Weekend:
May20-22,2016
MemorialDayWeekend:
May26-30,2016
Womenof Color&
FriendsWeekend:
June2-5,2016
GirlSplash:
July 19-23,2016
CarnivalWeek
(Backto the80's):
August13-19,
2016
Women's
Week
(32ndannual):
October10-16,2016
merica's First
estination
I~
Ptowntourism.com
Download your
free app today!
iPtown
Your Provincetown.
-rcl.'t
:itJ-
DIIII
Some of these islands are large enough to have forests, farms,
harbors, villages, grand estates, and summer houses. Others are no
bigger than a rock fit for a seal to sunbathe on. It's a truly magical
experience to take a boat through these islands. The shipping routes
between the Baltic and Stockholm pass through the archipelago, so,
as well as kayaks, yachts, motorboats, and ferries, you may catch a
glimpse of a stately ocean liner or cargo ship gliding between the islets
and atolls. It's a mariner's paradise.
On this trip, my four ports of call were Uto, Alo, Landsort, and
Nynashamn, but there are many others worth visiting, such as the
picturesque Vaxholm and Sandhamn, with their Martha's Vineyard
vibe and gourmet restaurants, gastropubs and swanky marinas. This
visit, my wife and I were seeking the kind of adventure that appeals
to nature-loving Swedes, and my islands were about rustic pleasures,
and getting back into our bodies.
GETTING THERE
If you're staying in Stockholm, you can take a ferry to the island of
your choice, but for something different and thrilling, we took a highspeed RIB (rigid inflatable boat). A young Norse goddess expertly
commanded this vessel, while her handsome offsider kitted us out
in protective overalls and goggles to keep us dry and insulated as we
skimmed the water at full throttle. The RIBwas much faster than a ferry,
and an adrenalin rush rather than relaxing, but occasionally we slowed
down in the no-wake zones and chatted about the gorgeous scenery,
which included deer grazing at the edge of the water, and sea eagles
high above. (oppethave.se)
74
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
FEATURES/
TRA
UTO
We docked at this small and unique island known for its natural
beauty-and the oldest iron ore mines in Sweden-which you can
tour just a short walk from your accommodations at Uto Vardshus,
a once-grand Swedish inn built in 1890 by a rich industrialist who
hoped to attract sophisticated Stockholmers to the island for
opulent and carefree weekends. The commanding property, which
includes numerous outbuildings, sits on a hill with stunning views
of the ocean and lovely sunsets. Choose digs to fit your budget;
you can get a room or an individual cabin, or bunk down at the
youth hostel. The decor is plain, unassuming, and honest, which
is the Swedish way, especially in the country. No matter, as you'll
be spending your time outdoors. And once you've exhausted
yourself hiking through the nearby fairytale forest, or cycling across
this woodsy island, reward yourself with a lovely dinner at the Utb
Vardshus Restaurang-excellent service and fine, hearty Swedish
cuisine. (utovardshus.se)
ALO
It came time to leave Utb and catch a boat to our next stop. On
the way, we fueled up on Swedish seafood on the small island of
Alo, which is connected to Uto by bridge. One of Alb's distinguishing
features is an upscale fish shack, Restaurant Batshaket (The
Boathook), with outdoor seating and its own dock (batshaket.se).
After tucking into a lipsmacking platter of wood-smoked salmon,
MAR/APR
2016
CURVE
75
peel-and-eat shrimp, and potato salad with mustard dressing,
we reluctantly left our perch in front of the pewter-colored sea
and climbed aboard a little boat that took us on to the next
adventure.
LANDSORT
It was a windy afternoon on the Baltic Sea, and after a bumpy
but fun one-hour ride, we docked at Landsort, just before a
rainstorm. Landsort holds a mythical status in the minds of
Swedes-there is even a Swedish lager named after it (more on
that later). Only a couple of miles long, this island was noted in
Nordic sailing records from the 1200s, and has variously acted
as a seasonal fishing village from the 1600s, a military base, and
a government checkpoint. Landsort lighthouse is the oldest
lighthouse in Sweden, and perhaps for good reason. Not only
can it get stormy out here, but in a south-easterly direction
lies Russia-and Sweden has a difficult relationship with the
Russians,to say the least. (landsort.com)
The fact that Landsort is the farthest-flung island in the
archipelago appeals to artists and adventurers, who are drawn
to its rocky outcrops, scrubby vegetation, cute red cottages,
and one little pub, which closes at 4 p.m. If you decide to visit,
you will need to stay in Landsort Oja, a plain cement tower that
originally served as the watchtower for vessels. The seven-story
building has now been converted into a mini-hostel that sleeps
76
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
eight people, more or less. Amenities are Spartan, but the overall
experience is invigorating.
Hosting your stay is Ake Svedtilja and his wife, Lotta; two
wonderful and gregarious Swedes who treat you as though you
are guests in their home, and this becomes especially apparent at
dinner, which takes place at the only real restaurant on the islandSvedtiljas Bar and Grill. It's a miracle that in such a rustic place you
can get a menu offering delights such as smoked duck breast with
fried egg, cashews, and orange mayonnaise, and entrecote with
roasted beets, lemon, red wine jus, and black aioli. The young,
internationally-trained chef is top notch. Ake and Lotta may chat
with you as they fill your glass with excellent wine and make sure
you're happy. (g-mo.se)
NYNASHAMN
The next day, we took the ferry to Nynashamn, a wide peninsula
with its own lovely geography, including villages, verdant farmland,
woods, and gorgeous sand-and-pebble beaches framed by
gnarled pine trees. Nynashamn is a popular holiday hamlet for
Stockholm's well-to-do people, largely because it is picturesque,
boasts an excellent foodie scene, has some lovely hotels, and is
connected to the city by road and rail-it's a mere 35 minutes from
Stockholm. (visitnynashamn.se)
Baltic babes who are in-the-know head to Nynas Havsbad, a
modern waterfront hotel with unobstructed sea views and the
WHEN
YOU'RE
IN
LAS
VEGAS,
YOU'RE
ALWAYS
TREATED
WELL.
ESPECIALLY
WHENYOUTREAT
YOURSELF
As one of the top destinations
time,
WHEN
YOU'RE
FEELING
LOOKING
night
your
you're
out
options
GOOD,
best.
from around
picking
YOU'RE
Check
out
the
and
Premium
In between
your
GOTTA
all the
partner
gift,
Las Vegas
expansive
The Palazzo
Outlets
Grand
Ami
or venture
North
off
fun
from,
Las Vegas
to want
trip.
From
amazing
Gabi at Paris to new Downtown
are sure to be memorable
has to
the
choose
Strip
you
dining
in
and unforgettable
Strip
views
hot spots,
and, of course,
offer,
And
your
delicious.
There
the Stay Well rooms
deals.
at Mon
meals
nightlife
venues
for
in Downtown
taste,
Las Vegas
ultralounge.
visit,
there
are plenty
like you could
There's
whoever
is like
from
hip
a party
to be found
to keep
do it all over again.
ALL
like
ITS OWN.
with
every
time
amazing
Commonwealth
- a booming,
sure to have a good
or one of
of how you
of options
no other,
bars
to SHARE
but,
spas to choose
Oriental
Regardless
IS A LIFESTYLE
the year, so you're
TO
or do anything
45 luxurious
at MGM Grand.
in Las Vegas
every
READY
spas to help you relax
Spa at Mandarin
and feeling
NIGHTLIFE
it easy
world-class
are over
to do Vegas,
you refreshed
The
to take
has numerous
Shoppes
for amazing
to eat.
here
AND
NIGHT.
like the five-star
THE
that
you're
or rejuvenate.
EAT.
are going
of your
has countless
Canal
Whether
best.
REJUVENATED
ON ANOTHER
Las Vegas
and keep you looking
Las Vegas can be one of the most romantic
experiences
for a romantic
you need to have a great
need to look and feel your
REFRESHED,
is all in Las Vegas.
outfit
your inner shopaholic
to the Las Vegas
A GIRL'S
the world
up the perfect
or an unexpected
to satisfy
Las Vegas has everything
you could
TAKE
at The Venetian
and
everything
GOOD.
The best shopping
Whether
for LGBT travelers,
including
multilevel
single
day of
whenever
you are.
NOMATTER
HOWYOUSPENDYOURTIMEIN VEGAS,
THERE'S
FINALLY
A GETAWAY
THATGETSYOU.
Visit
LasVegas.com/gaytravel
to book flights,
hotels,
vacation
packages
and more.
you
best spa weekend on offer. No one does spa like the Swedes,
and there is no better place to try it than this' Havspaviljongen
is the hotel's bathing and spa section. Newly renovated, it is the
best part of the entire property, and worth visiting even if you're
not actually staying at the hotel. Imagine chilling on the deck,
wrapped in your fluffy robe with a cup of tea, as a very expert
and obliging therapist gives your feet a soak and a salt scrub
(Maria Akerberg's organic products are used for all treatments).
The only thing to cap off this dreamlike state is to step into the
giant hot tub, which is right on the jetty that juts out into a glasslike sea, dotted with distant sailboats. Of course, you must try the
quintessentially Scandinavian wood-fired sauna, if only for a few
minutes, because it's built right into the rocky promontory. For
something very sensual, take a glass of champagne and your girl
into the indoor pool. If it all gets too relaxing, take a nap upstairs
in the spa lounge, and gaze out onto the horizon. Life doesn't get
better than this. (sodexomeetings.se/nynashavsbad)
Afterward, you'll be hungry, and there are snacks available.
My advice: Save your appetite and go to dinner at Restaurang
Kroken. This is great, family-friendly, casual seaside dining. Views
of the harbor, welcoming service, and everything on the menu is
delicious: oysters, salmon, steak, and lamb. (restaurantkroken.se)
But the Swedish seaside means seafood, and for the very
best you must stop by the historic, award-winning Nynas Rokeri
& Fiskhall. This fish shop and its attached bistro are run by a
mother-daughter team; they come from a family of fisher folk
and sell top-quality, sustainable, local seafood. Both mom and
her daughter Nikki are statuesque, and hands-on, overseeing
everything from the smokehouse to the front of house. And the
eatery, which serves lobster, crab, prawns, smoked mussels,
marinated salmon, fish stew, and shrimp sandwiches-washed
down wine, schnapps, or cold beer-is your best bet for lunch.
(nynasrokeri.se/en/fish-shop)
78
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
If you do have any beer while you're in this part of the world,
please don't request a Bud: Remember to drink locally, because
it will be some of the best you can set your lips to. The young,
hip guys and girls at Nynashamns Angbryggeri, a local, awardwinning microbrewery, produce an amazing amber ale, Landsort
Lager, and a number of other excellent and distinctively Swedish
brews (nyab.se). And to finish with something sweet, visit the
ChokladHuset (chokladhuset.com) and taste the pralines
commissioned for the Nobel Prize banquet dinner. Handmade
by chocolatier Louise Obrink, who is given a mystery theme
each year that she must translate into flavors, her bonbons have
included lingonberry and champagne-featuring
sparkling
chocolate that pops in your mouth. Last year's theme was
'Swedish Landscape,' which warranted chocolates flavored
with spruce, juniper, and whey butter. Talk about a taste of the
archipelago'
Toplan your islanditinerary,go to visitstockholm.com.
CROSSW
LASTLOOK/
THE
L-OUIZ
Test your
lesbian knowledge
with our queer crossword.
BY MYLES MELLOR
ACROSS
1.
French tennis great and a
lesbian, first name
5.
NBC's Losing it with Jillian
star
9.
Bagel topping fave
10. Little troublemaker
11. U.S. women's soccer great, a
prominent lesbian, 2 words
15. Italian river
16. LPGA tour great who came
out in 2004, 2 words
18. Top Norwegian handball
player who is a lesbian,
Hammerseng
20. Anchorage's state
z
0
Cl
34. Legendary tennis pro and
LGBT activist
2.
Popular tattoo letters
38. One to hang out with
3.
Shows off
40. LGBT part
4.
Picture
41. Existed
5.
Emerald is its birthstone
42. Leaf collector in the garden
6.
Web page
7.
Great time
44. Network airing One Big
Happy with Ellen DeGeneres
8.
London and NYC district
36. Responses to a masseur
37. Supported by
39. Lubricating liquid
40. Top women's basketball star,
Britney_
12. If it ain't this, don't fix it
43. _ carte or king
13. Half a fortnight
44. Long distance swimmer who
is a lesbian, Diane
14. USN title, abbr.
24. USA softball medalist who is
a lesbian, Lauren
51. Famous body builder and a
lesbian, Heather
26. Green light
52. One of the top women's
tennis players of all time and
a lesbian, first name
29. Profit for investors, abbr.
30. Motocross pioneer and
lesbian, Steffy_
U.S. women's soccer
defender who is a lesbian, 2
words
41. Fitness trainer on Bravo TV
who is a lesbian, Jackie
46. Romantic connection
Cl
~
1.
23. Last name of an annual
Palm Springs golf weekend,
famous for lesbian pool
parties
27. Second word of a flower to
remember
0
DOWN
33. First openly transgender
artist in MMA history, Fallon
47. Billie Jean King's partner,
Ilana
32. School for naval gazing
33. Mid-life decade
35. Young ladies
45. Workout target
48. Yes, in French
49. Red, Yellow or Black, but not
orange
50. _-lingual
17. Jam containers
19. U.S. soccer star who is a
lesbian, Megan_
21. Place for a daily run
22. Count near the end of a ring
countdown
25. Luau fare
27. Back to work day, abbr.
28. Former lover
30. Drinks source
31. Tuna type
.
'I
N
I
.L
H "Iii, I s
3 ■ n ■ 3.
s,t s o,., ll,., ■ -■
s s
, ••" , "..■
lj,,
IH
,
3 ■
I
I
s s "
ii. ■ 8
>\, ■ a
■
:>,.
8
't,, A It,
.L ■
"• •" I
3 N I H q,,I
o,, Is H 't,, I H
I >\, ■ X 0 4, I n,,v.,II.,I 3
■ 0,,N
3 ■ I 0 ~. ■ 3,, 1'1, ■ s0 ~z
H O H s,, ■ 3
N I d ct.," 1,3
Ck ■ "■ cl,, ■ >t I )I 'z --3
I'
IH
,
I
■ o
0
H
3
""'l,
o.,• •ct., ■
N
--~. !>,,■ s
<\,
='..~
'fl 8
3,"
MAR/APR
N 0
ru 3
3 ■ 3 ■ H ■
Ill
o ■ H ■ 0-
s,,
3
--
N
H,:,
"~.
I
A
8,, 8
"•
2016
S
O ~.
■ >t
-Ill
111, ■ 3
I
o I 0
".. Id
I'
Ill
,..
■ x
0
,,
1
wz"'~
3t
CURVE
79
LASTLOOK!STARS
or1na
ed
ction
March comes in like a lioness, and comes out like hot lamb loins
for a romantic April dinner for two. By Charlene Lichtenstein
(March 21-April 20)
Comedian Tig Notaro turns 45 on March 24.
,,,
r-..,~~--
(Feb 20-Mar 20)
/
This is a woman who needs
other women around her.
She will do anything within
her power to help a friend
in need. But don't count
on her to join you in battle.
She would rather make love
than war. She will strive for
compromise or acquiesce
when an opponent looms
too large. Don't call her
afraid; call her an eminently
wise survivor.
/
/
/
~
/
/
/
/
,,;
~
(Mar 21-Apr 20)
Sapphic Rams can be
generous or behave like
kids in a candy store if they
think that you support them
unconditionally. For this
reason, it is easy to take
advantage of them. However,
once they figure out that
they've been used or abused,
they take no prisoners and
will never ever forget. Woe
betide the person who takes
advantage of her.
(Nov 23-Dec 22)
Expect a lot of fun and gaymes
Sagittarians not only see
to scratch this spring and why
this spring, Lioness. You feel
themselves as hostesses with
not? You have been too sedate
inspired, energetic and a little bit
the mostess, they also want to
and routine. It is time to break
Out of your humdrum. There
out of control. That means you
be right in the center of all of
can not only mine your creative
the action both in and out of
are steamy surprises in store
muses but also certain feisty
the home. Your social calendar
for those who take the road
lovergrrls. You know how to get
fills up quickly this spring. How
less travelled. So pack your
'artistic' with you-know-who,
can you balance all this need
bags, plan your itinerary and
which can involve body paint,
for attention with the needs of
let a certain lovely lady hum
a feather boa and an egg timer.
others? Share your adoration
your drum in some far off exotic
Make your masterpiece.
with a certain you-know-who.
locale.
(Aug 24-Sep 23)
;'
;'
(July 24-Aug 23)
Aries have an adventurous itch
(Dec23-Jan20)
Your mouth can get you into
There is a lot of gossip swirling
Will you confuse a platonic
trouble this winter, Virgo. Lucky
around this spring and
relationship with a passionate
you! Say what is on your mind
one this spring, Taurus? In fact,
and see how you can change
Capricorns may be right in
the middle of it. Your 'secret'
you may have already set the
the social dynamic. You could
flirtations and liaisons become
stage for drama among your
a hot topic of conversation and
closest gal pals. Decide if you
become a mover and shaker in
a community effort or political
want to mix it up. If so, go for it.
movement. Do good deeds and
known. When it all spills out (and
The heart wants what the heart
wants. But be prepared for
before you know it, you will be
it will) will you be like a deer in
the one to know. And I might
the headlights or checking the
some heartburn!
mean that in the biblical sense.
headlights of some dear?
(April 21-May 21)
(May 22-June 21)
(Sep 24-Oct 23)
admirers may make themselves
(Jan 21-Feb 19)
Geminis will have to find the
perfect balance between all-
Don't let your family get in the
There are some Aqueerians who
way of love, Virgo. That may
just can't resist grabbing for
consuming career goals and
mean a deft hand with certain
the bill at every friendly event.
the needs of lovergrrls now.
relatives. But you are up for it
This spring, try to balance your
Burning the midnight oil at work
and may even find ways to make
generosity with practicality. Find
will not help to burn the embers
a tense situation mellow and
free or cheaper opportunities
of passion at home. Make some
accepting. Get it done as fast
with your bosom buddies to enjoy
tough decisions to balance your
as you can. You will need your
each other's company. They say
life so that the both of you are
energy to apply that same deft
both happy and satisfied.
hand to a lovely who is much
that the best things in life are
free-sunshine, happy families,
more deserving and attractive.
good gal pals... Err,what else?
(June 22-July 23)
Why are you locked to your
(Oct 24-Nov 22)
(Feb 20-March 20)
desk when the spring weather
Fun may cost much more than
Your professional aspirations
beckons, Cancer? It is time to
you think this spring, Scorpio.
take center stage this spring.
free yourself from any dreary
Tantalizing her with extravagant
You see an opportunity for all of
and boring encumbrances. Get
the job done and clear off your
gifts and wooing her with gilded
your hard work and good efforts
experiences may attract her in
to be recognized and rewarded.
desk. You need time to simply
the short term. But if you want
Guppies seize the chance to
CharleneLichtensteinis the author
refresh, rejuvenate and reassess
her in it for the long haul, pace
improve their corporate position
of HerScopes:
A Guideto Astrology
your life's directions. All work
yourself and all the gift giving
with a little hobnobbing with the
(Simon& Schuster)
ForLesbians
and no play makes a very dull
and reveal to her your golden
power brokers. This is not a bad
girl of Jane ... not to mention
inner qualities. Uh, what was the
idea, unless they suggest that
April, May and June.
price of gold again ...?
your next position is prone.
/
~
,,
/,
nowavailableas an ebook
(tinyurl.com/HerScopes).
80
CURVE
MAR/APR
2016
WELCOME to the MAGIC of
SPRINGI6
TRENDS
THE
TOP
LOOKS
OF
& HOW
TO
THE
SEASON
PUT
ITALL
TOGETHER
CALWN
KLEIN
JEANS
Denim shirt.
Cotton. 69.50.
Destructed boyfriend
jeans. 79.50.
Both for misses.
'
\
t ;._:_~;l(':.
:,
·t '·\~" •
SHOW
usYOUR
LATEST
MACY'S
FINDS
USING
#MACYSLOVE
l:rCOULD
BEFEATURED
INTIMES
SQUARE
INNYC!
----~:~f~~~~~~:,;::~
..!!!!!!11",...~~#-;;;:lli;
ffiRDCYSiwo
See all items with this value
